. I. 
 
 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAj 
 
 'HOEVER possesses or 
 hopes to possess more than 
 he needs . .". more than a 
 house, a garden, a room full 
 of books ... is doomed to 
 keeping static the order in 
 which he lives. 
 
 Ludwig Lewisohn 
 
 Thilip "Durham^ 
 
 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 THE 
 
 LITERARY REMAINS 
 
 OF THE LATE 
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD^CLARK. 
 
 INCLUDING 
 
 THE OLLAPODIANA PAPERS, 
 
 THE 
 
 SPIRIT OF LIFE, 
 
 AWD A SELECTION FHOM HIS 
 
 TARIOUS PROSE AND POETICAL WRITINGS. 
 
 . i 
 
 ZDITED BT 
 
 LEWIS GAYLORD CLARK. 
 
 NEW-YORK: 
 BURGESS, STRINGER, & CO., 
 
 t BROADWAY, CORNER OF AHIf 8TRXET. 
 
 1847.
 
 Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1844, 
 BY LEWIS GAYLORD CLARK, 
 
 In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the Southern District of 
 
 New York. 
 
 TEREOTYPED BT REDK1ELD 4 SAVAGE, 
 13 CHAMBERS STREET, N. T.
 
 TO 
 
 DAVID GRAHAM, ESQ., 
 
 OF NEW-YORK, 
 3s a {Testimonial 
 
 OF 
 
 CORDIAL REGARD AND ESTEEM, 
 
 THE ENSUING PAOU 
 
 PROM THE PEN OP HIS LIPE-LONQ PRIEND AND ADMIRER, 
 ARE RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED BY 
 
 THE EDITOS.
 
 MEMOIR 
 
 or 
 
 ILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 
 
 IT was my purpose, in introducing the ensuing pages to the public, to 
 have accompanied them with a more elaborate Memoir of the life of their au- 
 thor than had hitherto appeared ; the chief additional attraction of which, 
 however, I had hoped to present in extracts from his familiar correspon- 
 dence. I say ' chief attraction,' because in the able Memoir from the pen 
 of his eminent friend, Hon. Judge CONRAD, of Philadelphia, published in 
 ' GRAHAM'S Magazine* for 1840, and in the excellent and authentic sketch 
 which prefaces the selections from his verse in Mr. GRISWOLD'S 'Poets 
 and Poetry of America' of the former of which the Departed often expres- 
 sed his approbation all that is essential for the information of the reader 
 was felicitously and succinctly embodied. But, as I have said, something 
 more than this I had contemplated ; something which, under his own hand, 
 and hi the easy play of unstudied correspondence with his most intimate 
 friend on earth, should be an exponent of his 'inner life,' his every-day 
 thoughts, impulses, and affections. Why I have not been able to do this, I 
 shall now briefly explain. 
 
 For many many months previous to the death of my twin-brother, that 
 event was constantly in my mind, and tinged the whole current of my 
 thoughts. Each sun that rose and set upon us, I 'counted toward his last 
 resting-place ;' and the slow-swinging pendulum of a clock, accidentally en- 
 countered, appeared to me to have but one purpose; it was notching his re- 
 sistless progress to an early grave. When the last bitter hour came ; when 
 all that was mortal of my 'severed half had ceased to live; nothing it seemed 
 could add to the poignant sense of present bereavement. I was told indeed 
 that Time, the great Healer, would soften the bitterness of my regret ; that 
 even the memory of a past sorrow might yet become ' pleasant, though 
 mournful to the soul.' Among many letters which I received soon arter 
 WILLIS'S death, was one which I can not resist the inclination to quote 
 here: 
 
 'Sunnysidc Cottage, July 8, 1841. 
 'Mr DKAR SIR: 
 
 *I HAVE not sooner replied to your letter of the eighteenth of June, com- 
 municating the intelligence of the untimely death of your brother, because in
 
 6 MEMOIR OF 
 
 fact I was at a loss how to reply. It is one of those cases in which all ordinary 
 attempts at consolation are apt to appear trite and cold, and can never reach 
 the deep-seated affliction. In such cases, it always appears to me better 
 to leave the heart to struggle with its own sorrows, and medicine its own ills; 
 and indeed, in healthful minds, as in healthful bodies, Providence has benefi- 
 cently implanted self-healing qualities, that in time close up and almost ob- 
 literate the deepest wounds. 
 
 4 1 do not recollect to have met your brother more than once,* but our 
 interview left a most favorable impression, which was confirmed and strength- 
 ened by all I afterward knew of him. His career, though brief, has been 
 useful, honorable, popular, and I trust generally happy ; and he has left be- 
 hind him writings which will make men love his memory and lament his loss. 
 Under such circumstances, a man has not lived in vain ; and though his 
 death be premature, there is consolation to his survivors springing from 
 liis very grave. 'Believe me, my dear sir, 
 
 4 Yours very truly, 
 
 'WASHINGTON IRVING. 
 
 4 L. GAYLORD CLARE, Esq.' 
 
 Replete with characteristic feeling and beauty as is this most kind note, 
 which is cited as one of many kindred letters of condolence that reached me 
 at this period, I can not let it pass to the reader without saying, even at the 
 risk of exposing a mind bereft of self-healing qualities, and unhealthful, that 
 the deep wound which I have received only yawns the wider with the lapse 
 of time. Although 'it is only dust that descends to dust;' although it was 
 'not the brother, the friend, the cherished being,' that went down into the 
 grave, to sleep in cold obstruction ; yet it is to that grave that Memory still 
 points the unmoving fiuger. There every phase of nature is earliest marked. 
 There springs the first tender green of the early spring-time ; there upon 
 the long grass shimmers down the sun-light through the heavy foliage of 
 thick-leaved June ; there wails the November wind ; there rustle the withered 
 leaves and fall the ' sorrowing rains' of melancholy autumn ; and there, in 
 the howling midnight storm, over the walls of St. Peter's church-yard, Win- 
 ter 'weaves his frolic architecture of snow.' There, features once radiant 
 with intellectual light have faded into indistinctness ; there the eye that loved 
 to look upon all the glorious works of GOD, is closed to color, and the ear to 
 sound; there the warm hand, whose cordial grasp of fraternal affection can 
 never be forgotten, moulders at the crumbling side. And upon the corres- 
 pondence traced through many years by that now wasted hand, I can not yet 
 look. Since the announcement, by the publishers, of the immediate issue 
 of the present work, I have tried repeatedly to overcome this reluctance, but 
 I can not. It may be a morbid feeling doubtless it is; but it is not less cer- 
 tain that with me it is irresistible. ' There is some latent, some mysterious 
 
 THEY met in an official capacity, I believe, at the nuptials of an old and valued 
 friend of my brother's, DAVID GRAHAM, Esq., of New York. The interview is 
 pleasantly alluded to in one of the ' Ollapodiana' chapters which ensue.
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 7 
 
 jet undeniable connection' (says an eloquent writer, in allusion to the corres- 
 pondence of departed friends) between those lifeless manuscripts and the 
 beings whose affections seem even yet to haunt and hover round them ; and 
 .the pulse beats, and the blood gushes through the loyal heart, as it vibrates 
 again to the well-remembered words, and half listens for the voice that might 
 have uttered them.' It is this ordeal which I can not yet brave. 
 
 Let me hope, therefore, that the reader will receive my apology for omit- 
 ting what I had hoped to be able to present ; and accept the following brief 
 Memoir, as embracing all the essential facts in the history of its subject. 
 We quote from the article in ' GRAHAM'S Magazine' to which we have al- 
 luded : 
 
 ' OF the several excellent writers whose names we have placed upon our 
 catalogue as worthy of the honor we intend to do them (a series of portraits 
 of popular Philadelphia authors, accompanied by suitable notices of their 
 lives and works,) the first we select is that of WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK, whose 
 rare abilities as a poet, and whose qualities as a man, justify this distinction. 
 The life of a student is usually, almost necessarily, indeed, uneventful. Dis- 
 inclined by habit and association, and generally unfitted by temperament, to 
 mingle in the ruder scenes, the shocks and conflicts that mark the periods 
 of sterner existence, his biography furnishes but few salient points upon 
 which an inquirer can take hold. In the little circle which his affections 
 have gathered around him, he finds abundant sources of enjoyment and inter- 
 est ; and though the world without may ring with his name, he pursues his 
 quiet and peaceful way, undisturbed by, if not insensible to, its praises. Such 
 has been eminently the case with the subject of this notice. With feelings 
 peculiarly fitted for social and domestic intercourse, and a neart overflowing 
 with the warmest and most generous impulses, and a shrinking sensitiveness 
 to obtrusive public regard, Mr. CLARK has always sought those scenes in 
 which, while his talents found free scope, his native modesty was unwounded, 
 and he could exercise without restraint the loftier charities of his nature. 
 
 ' Mr. CLARK was born in Otisco, a rich agricultural town in the county of 
 Onondaga, in the State of New York. His father was a soldier in the days of 
 the revolution, whose valor and services won for him tributes of acknowledg- 
 ment from the delegates of a grateful nation. He was, moreover, a man of 
 reading and talent, fond of collecting and studying useful books, and much 
 given to philosophical pursuits and inquiries. In his son WILLIS he found 
 an apt and anxious pupil ; and the judicious teachings of the father, aided by 
 the classic inculcations of the Rev. GEOROK COLTON, a maternal relative, laid 
 a broad and solid foundation for those acquirements which have since added 
 grace and vigor to the outpourings of genius. At a very early age, Mr. CLARK 
 manifested poetic inclinations. Amid the glorious scenery that was outspread 
 on every side of him, he soon began to feel the yearnings of his Divine nature. 
 The spirit that was within him, stimulated by the magnificence of these ex- 
 ternal objects, could not be repressed ; and he painted the beauties of plain 
 and mountain ; of the flower-clad valley and the forest-crowned hill; of the 
 gorgeous going down of the sun amid a profusion of dazzling tints and hues 
 such as nowhere else accompanied his setting ; of the rich and van-colored
 
 8 MEMOIR OP 
 
 autumnal foliage that shone in melancholy brightness; of the clear lake, 
 whose uuiuilli'd bosom was placid as the soul of peace; hi terms so glow- 
 ing, and with a distinctness and force, that showed an eye so quick to per- 
 ceive, and a mind so capable to appreciate, the loveliness of creation, that 
 it at once secured to him praise and admiration. As he grew older, there was 
 mingled with this exquisite power of description a tone of gentle solemnity, 
 a delicate sadness of thought ; a strain of seriousness such as showed a para- 
 mount desire to gather from the scenes and images reflected through his po- 
 etical faculties, useful lessons of morality. We remember very well when 
 our attention was first drawn to his productions, and he was then but a boy, 
 that we were impressed with the fact just mentioned ; and we admired that 
 one so young, should thus address himself directly to the hearts of his read- 
 ers, and stir up within them founts of tenderness and piety. 
 
 'After completing his scholastic course, Mr. CLARK repaired to Philadel- 
 phia, whither his reputation as a poet of much skill and a high degree of 
 promise, had already preceded him. Soon after his arrival, under the aus- 
 pices of the Rev. Dr. ELY, his patron and friend, he started a literary jour- 
 nal, similar in its design and character to the 'Mirror' of New York. Young, 
 inexperienced, and therefore incapable of managing the business details of 
 this undertaking with the necessary regard to its economy, he found that the 
 profits were disproportioned to the labor, and was soon induced to abandon 
 it. He conducted it, however, long enough to show that his powers of wri- 
 ting were not confined to poetry alone, but that in various departments of prose 
 literature, previously unattempted by him, he possessed great aptitude ; and 
 his criticisms on books and the arts indicated a vigorous and well-disciplined 
 taste, considerable power of analysis, just discrimination, and above all, a 
 generous forbearance toward all who were the subjects of his commentaries. 
 About the time this project failed, the Rev. Dr. BRANTLEY, a Baptist cler- 
 gyman of great eminence, then in the pastoral charge of a church in this 
 city, and now President of the College of South Carolina,* assumed the care 
 of the 'Columbian Star,' a religious and literary periodical, and associated 
 Mr. CLARK with him in its conduct. From this connection Mr. CLARK de- 
 rived many advantages. To an intellect of the very highest order ; a copious 
 supply of various and rare learning; an eloquence which illuminated what- 
 ever it was applied to; a remarkable purity and clearness of style, and the 
 most vigorous habits of thought, Dr. BRANTLEY united a spirit touched with 
 the finest impulses of humanity, and an affability of demeanor, which, while 
 it imparted grace to his manner, made him in all circumstances, easy and 
 accessible. Upon his young friend and associate, these qualities acting with 
 a sympathetic influence, produced a lasting and most salutary impression. 
 The counsels of the divine pointed him to the path in which he ought to 
 tread ; die example of the scholar inspired him with a generous emulation ; 
 and the mild benevolence of the Christian gentleman taught him the im- 
 portance of cultivating benignity of temper, and of subduing all untoward 
 
 THIS institution subsequently bestowed upon Mr. CLARK the honorary degree of 
 Bachelor of Arts.
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 9 
 
 passions. While lie was connected with the 'Columbian Star,' Mr. CLARK 
 published numerous fugitive pieces of a high grade of merit. Most of these 
 he suffered to remain uncollected, though many of them were stamped with 
 all the marks of genius. A few were afterward published in a duodecimo 
 volume, along with a poem of considerable length, called the 'Spirit of Life,' 
 originally prepared as an exercise for a collegiate exhibition. 
 
 'Mr. CLARK, after an agreeable and instructive association with the rev- 
 erend editor of the ' Columbian Star,' was solicited to take charge of the 
 'Philadelphia Gazette,' the oldest and one of the most respectable daily jour- 
 nals published in this city. With this solicitation he saw proper to comply, 
 and from the grateful cultivation of polite literature, he turned to the dry 
 and fatiguing duty of superintending the multifarious concerns of a political, 
 commercial, and advertising newspaper. In his new vocation, he acquitted 
 himself with credit and honor, and ultimately became the proprietor of the 
 establishment, which he continued to manage and direct until within a few 
 days of his death. Though avowedly partisan in his predilections, and doing 
 battle in good earnest for the cause which he espoused, Mr. CLARK never 
 sacrificed his own opinions to any question or suggestion of expediency. 
 Never slavish, never even submissive to the dictates of self-assumed author- 
 ity, he upon all occasions preserved a fair, free, and upright policy, which de- 
 servedly placed him high in the estimation of all honest and independent men. 
 
 'In 1836, Mr. CLARK was married to ANNE POTNTELL CALDCLEUGH, the 
 daughter of one of our most wealthy and respectable citizens. In this lady 
 great personal beauty and varied accomplishments were joined to a most 
 tender and affectionate disposition, a meekness and serenity of mind, that 
 nothing could disturb. With such qualities in his bride, qualities that found 
 an answering echo in his own bosom, the married career of Mr. CLARK was 
 for a time one of unclouded sunshine. Unhappily, his wife, whose consti 
 tution was naturally delicate, was seized with that most terrible disease of 
 our climate, consumption, and after a long period of protracted suffering, 
 which she bore with a meekness and gentleness that endeared her infi- 
 nitely to her friends, she was taken away in the very prime of her youth 
 and happiness. A blow like this fell with a crushing weight upon the hopes 
 and enjoyments of her surviving partner ; and in various tributes to her 
 memory, he evinced the deep grief of his afflicted spirit. 
 
 ' Of Mr. CLARK'S general merits as a poet but one opinion can be enter- 
 tamed. In the sweetness of his numbers, the elegance of his diction, the 
 propriety of his sentiments, and the chasteness of his imagery, he is scarcely 
 surpassed by any living writer. His earlier productions, as we have aheady 
 said, are all tinged by a hue of sadness, but it is a sadness without gloom ; 
 and while they vividly portray the chances and changes of life, and the shift- 
 ing aspects of nature, they inculcate the important truth that there is a higher 
 and a better world, for which our affections are chastened, and our de- 
 sires made perfect by suffering. In an extended notice of Mr. CLARK'S 
 writings, published in the ' American Quarterly Review,' we find a concise 
 and forcible delineation of his peculiarities and style. After some general 
 remarks, the reviewer says :
 
 10 MEMOIR OF 
 
 ' WITH the exception of a small volume published some years since, we believe that 
 Mr. CLARK'S effusions have not been collected. They have appeared at irregular and 
 often remote intervals ; and though their beauty and pathos have won the applause of 
 the first writers of this country and England, they have not made that impression 
 which if united they could not fail to produce. Mr. CLARK'S distinguishing traits arc 
 tenderness, pathos, and melody. In style and sentiment he is wholly original, but if 
 he resemble any writer, it is Mr. BRYANT. The same lofty tone of sentiment, the 
 same touches of melting pathos, the same refined sympathies with the beauties and 
 harmonies of nature, and the same melody of style, characterise, in an almost equal 
 degree, these delightful poets. The ordinary tone of Mr. CLARK'S poetry is gentle, 
 solemn, and tender. His effusions flow in melody from a heart full ot the sweetest af- 
 fections, and upon their surface is mirrored all that is gentle and beautiful in nature, 
 rendered more beautiful by the light of a lofty and religious imagination. He is one 
 of the few writers who have succeeded in making the poetry of religion attractive. 
 Young is sad, and austere, Cowper is at times constrained, and Wordsworth is much 
 too dreamy for the mass: but with CLARK religion is unaffectedly blended with the 
 simplest and sweetest affections of the heart. His poetry glitters with the dew, not 
 of Castaly, but of heaven. No man, however cold, can resist the winning and natural 
 sweetness and melody of the tone of piety that pervades his poems. All the voices 
 of nature speak to him of religion ; he 
 
 1 Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, 
 Sermons in stones, and good in everything.' 
 
 There is not an effusion, and scarce a line in his poetical writings that is not replete 
 with this spirit. The entire absence of affectation or artifice in Mr. CLARK'S poetry 
 also deserves the highest commendation. Though always poetical he is always natu- 
 ral ; he sacrifices nothing for effect, and does not seek his subjects or his figures from 
 the startling or the extravagant. There is an uniform and uninterrupted propriety in 
 his writings. His taste is not merely cultivated and refined, but sensitively fastidious, 
 and shrinks, with instinctive delicacy, from anything that could distort the tranquil 
 and tender beauty of his lines. His diction is neither quaint nor common-place, bloat- 
 ed nor tame, but is natural, classic, and expressive. In the art of versification, he ap- 
 pears to be nearly perfect ; we know no poet in the language who is more regular, ani- 
 mated, and euphonious. 
 
 ' The Spirit of Life' is onQ of the most labored, though certainly not the most suc- 
 cessful or Mr. CLARK'S poems. It occupies the larger portion of the only volume 
 which he has given to the public. The dedication, thougn we confess it is not pre- 
 cisely to our taste, is enthusiastic and fervid. It is excused, however, by the general 
 admiration at that time manifested for the author of Pelham, and was perhaps due as 
 a grateful tribute to a distinguished author, who had previously spoken of his poems 
 in high terms, and of himself as a gentlemen, ; who has an enviable genius, to be ex- 
 cited in a new and unexhausted country, and a glorious career before him, where, in 
 manners, scenery, and morals, hitherto undescribed and unexhausted, he can find 
 wells where he himself may be the first to drink.' 
 
 ' As a prose writer, Mr. CLARK possesses a rare combination of dissimilar qualities. 
 At times eloquent, vehement, and impassioned, pouring out his thoughts in a fervent 
 tide of strong and stirring language, he sweeps the feelings of his readers along with 
 him ; and at others playful, jocular, and buoyant, he dallies with his subject, and min- 
 gles mirth and argument, drollery and gravity, so oddly, yet so aptly, that the effect 
 is irresistible. Few men have a more acute perception of the ludicrous ; few under- 
 stand better how to move the strings of laughter, and when he chooses to indulge in 
 strains of humor, his good-natured jests, and ' quips and cranks and wanton wiles,' show 
 the fullness of his powers, and the benevolent strain of his feelings. In kindness and 
 pathos, when such is the bent of his inclination, his prose essays are not inferior to 
 his poetical compositions.' 
 
 Mr. CLARK was for many years a liberal contributor to the periodical and 
 annual literature of this country. He was also a frequent correspondent of 
 the leading English magazines. 'The tales and essays,' says the author of 
 ' The Poets and Poetry of America,' ' which he found leisure to write for 
 the New York KNICKERBOCKER Magazine, and especially a series of amu- 
 sing papers under the quaint title of ' OUapodiana,' will long be remem- 
 bered for their heart-moving and mirth-provoking qualities.' 
 
 A portrait accompanied the sketch to which we have referred ; but it
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 11 
 
 X^"^ 
 
 failed to present a faithful representation of the features of its subject. In 
 person Mr. CLARK was of the middle height ; his form was erect and manly, 
 and his countenance pleasing and expressive. In ordinary intercourse he 
 was cheerful and animated, and he was studious to conform to the conven- 
 tional usages of society. Warm-hearted, confiding, and generous, he was 
 a true friend ; and by those who knew him intimately, he was much beloved.' 
 
 THE following account of the last hours of the subject of this Memoir 
 was written by the undersigned for the 'Editor's Table' of the KNICKER- 
 BOCKER Magazine for July, 1841 : 
 
 ' OUR brother is no more!' DEATH, the pale messenger, has beckoned 
 him silently away; and the spirit which kindled with so many elevated 
 thoughts; which explored the chambers of human affection, and awakened 
 so many warm sympathies ; which rejoiced with the glad, and grieved with 
 the sorrowing, has ascended to mansions of eternal repose. And there is 
 one, reader, who above all others feels how much gentleness of soul, how 
 much fraternal affection and sincere friendship ; how much joyous hilarity, 
 gondness, poetry, have gone out of the world; and he will be pardoned for 
 dwelling in these pages, so often enriched by the genius of the Departed, 
 upon the closing scenes of his earthly career. Since nearly a twelve-month 
 the deceased has ' died daily' in the eyes of the writer of this feeble tribute. 
 He saw that Disease sat at his heart, and was gnawing at its cruel leisure ; 
 that in the maturity of every power, in the earthly perfection of every fac- 
 ulty ; ' when experience had given facility to action and success to endeavor,' 
 he was fast going down to darkness and the worm. Thenceforth were trea- 
 sured up every soul-fraught epistle and the recollection of each recurring 
 interview, growing more and more frequent, until at length Life like a spent 
 steed ' panted to its goal,' and Death sealed up the glazing eye and stilled 
 the faltering tongue. Leaving these, however, with many other treasured 
 remains and biographical facts for future reference and preservation in this 
 Magazine, we pass to the following passages of a letter recently received 
 from a late but true friend of the lamented deceased, Rev. Dr. DUCACHET, 
 Rector of St. Stephen's Church, Philadelphia ; premising merely, that the 
 reverend gentleman had previously called upon him at his special instance, 
 in the last note he ever penned ; that ' his religious faith was manifested hi 
 a manner so solemn, so frank, and so cordial,' as to convince the affectionate 
 pastor that the failing invalid, aware that he must die of the illness under 
 which he was suffering, had long been seeking divine assistance to prepare 
 him for the issue so near at hand : 
 
 'At four o'clock on Friday p. M. the day before his death, I saw him 
 again, he himself having selected the time, thinking that he was strongest 
 in the afternoon. But there was an evident change for the worse ; and be 
 was laboring under fever. His religious feelings were however even more 
 satisfactory, and his views more clear, than the day before. He assured me 
 that he enjoyed a sweet peace in his mind, and that he had no apprehen- 
 sion about death. He was ' ready to depart' at any moment. 1 was unwil- 
 ling to disturb him by much talking, or a very long visit, and made several
 
 12 MEMOIR OF 
 
 attempts to leave him ; but in the most affectionate and pressing manner, 
 not to be resisted, he urged me to remain. His heart seemed full of joy and 
 peace ; overflowing with gratitude to GOD for his goodness, and with kind- 
 ness to me. Leaving him, after an hour's interview, I promised to return 
 on Saturday A. M . , at ten o'clock, and to administer baptism to him then. This 
 was done accordingly, in the presence of his father-in-law, and three or four 
 other friends and connexions, whom he had summoned to his bed, as he 
 told me, for the express purpose of letting them see his determination to 
 profess the faith of the gospel which in life he had so long neglected. It 
 was a solemn, moving sight ; one of the most interesting and affecting I ever 
 saw. More devotion, humility, and placid confidence in GOD, I never saw 
 in any sick man. I mentioned to him that as his strength was evidently de- 
 clining, it would be well for him to say every thing he desired to say to me 
 then, as his voice and his faculties might fail. He then affectionately placed 
 his arms around my neck ; gently drew my ear near to his lips, that 1 might 
 hear his whispers ; and after thanking me over and over again for my small 
 attentions to him, which his gratitude magnified into very high services, he 
 proceeded to tell me what he wished done with his ' poor body.' He expres- 
 sed very great anxiety to see you, and he very much feared that he should 
 die before your expected arrival at midnight. But he said he left that mat- 
 ter and every other to GOD'S disposal. As I was leaving him, he said, ' Call 
 again to-day,' which I promised to do in the evening. He told me he felt a 
 happy persuasion that when he passed from this miserable world and that 
 enfeebled body, he should enter upon ' the inheritance incorruptible, unde- 
 filed, and that fadeth not away.' He asked : ' Do you observe how these 
 words labor to convey the idea of Heaven's blessedness to our feeble minds ? 
 ' The inheritance incorruptible /' Beautiful thought! ' Undefiled' more 
 beautiful still ! That fadeth not away' most beautiful of all ! I think I 
 understand something of the peace and glory these redoubled words were 
 designed to express.' And then, raising his wasted hand, with great em- 
 phasis he said, 'I shall soon know all about it, I trust!' 
 
 ' In the evening, about seven o'clock, I received a message from him to- 
 come immediately to him. I was there by eight. I was surprised to find 
 that he had rallied so much. There was a strength I had not seen before ; 
 and his fine open features were lighted up with unusual brilliancy. In every 
 way he seemed better ; and I flattered myself that he would h'Ve to see you, 
 and even hold out for a day or two more. I had much charming conversa- 
 tion with him about his state of feeling, his views of himself as a sinner, 
 and of GOD, and of JESUS CHRIST as a precious Saviour, and of heaven, etc. 
 He then handed me a prayer-book, adding, That was my ANKE'S,' mean- 
 ing his wife's. ' Now read me the office for the sick in this book. I want 
 the whole of it. I have read it myself over and over, since you pointed it 
 out to me, and it is delightful.' He then repeated the sentence, ' I know 
 that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand in the latter day upon the 
 earth,' and asked if that was not a part of it. I told him that that belonged 
 to the burial service. ' Then,' said he, ' it is quite suitable for me, for it will 
 soon be read by you over my grave.' I sat by his bed, and found the place.
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 13 
 
 Waiting in silence to receive his signal to begin, I thought he was engaged 
 in secret prayer, and was unwilling to interrupt him. But he remained si- 
 lent so long, seeming to take no notice of me, that I spoke to him. 1 found 
 that his mind was wandering, and that speech had failed. He muttered in- 
 distinctly only. From that moment, he sank gradually away. His ema- 
 ciated limbs were retracted and cold ; his pulse failed ; the shadow of death 
 gathered fast and dark upon his countenance ; his respiration became feebler 
 and feebler; and at last, at precisely five minutes past ten, he died. So im- 
 perceptibly and gently did his happy spirit flee away, that it was some time 
 before we could ascertain that he had gone. I never saw a gentler death. 
 There was r;o pain, no distress, no shuddering, no violent disruption of the 
 ties of life. Both as to the mind's peace and the body's composure, it was 
 a beautiful instance of cvBavatna. The change which indicated the approach 
 of his last moment, took place about half an hour only before he died. 
 Such, my dear Sir, are all the chief particulars I can remember, and which 
 I have thought you would desire to know.' 
 
 A FEW summary ' Reflections' upon the character of the lamented de- 
 ceased succeed, which although intended, as was the foregoing, only for a 
 brother's eye, we cannot resist the desire to cite in this connexion : 
 
 ' HE was, so far as his character revealed itself to me, a man of a most 
 noble, frank, and generous nature. He was as humble as a little child. He 
 cxhjbited throughout most remarkable patience. He never complained. 
 But once, while I was on bended knees, praying with him for patience to be 
 given him, and acknowledging that all he had suffered was for the best, he 
 clasped his hands together, and exclaimed, ' Yesi right, right all right!' 
 He was one of the most affectionate-hearted men I ever saw. Every 
 moment I spent with him, he was doing or saying something to express to me 
 his attachment. He would take my hand, or put his arm around my neck, 
 <:r say something tender, to tell me that he loved me. He showed the same 
 kind feeling to his attendants, his faithful nurse, REBECCA, and to the hum- 
 blest of fhe servants. He was of course, with such a heart, grateful 
 for the smallest attentions. He received the most trifling office with thanks. 
 I observed this most remarkably on the evening of his death. I had taken 
 my son with me, that he might sit up with him on Saturday night, if occa- 
 sion should require. When I mentioned that the youth was in the room, he 
 called for him ; welcomed him most kindly, thanked him over and over for 
 his friendly intentions ; and in fact, broke out into the warmest expressions of 
 gratitude for what his sensitive and generous heart took to be a high act of 
 favor. All this was within an hour and a half of his death. Finally, 
 I believe he was a truly religious man. I have no doubt that he was fully 
 prepared for his end ; and that through the sacrifice of the cross, and the 
 Saviour who died there for sinners, he was p uioned and accepted. He has 
 gone, I feel persuaded, to th^ abodns < f peace, where the souls of those who 
 sleep in the LORD JSDS enjoy perpetual felicity and rest.'
 
 14 MEMOIR OF 
 
 SDKELT all who peruse the foregoing affecting record, may exclaim with 
 the poet whom we lament : 
 
 ' IT were not sad to feel the heart 
 
 Grow passionless and cold 
 To feel those longings to depart. 
 
 That cheered the saints of old ; 
 To clasp the faith which looks on high, 
 Which fires the Christian's dying eye, 
 
 And makes the curtain-fold 
 That falls upon his wasting breast 
 The door that leads to endless rest. 
 
 It were not lonely, thus to lie 
 
 On that triumphant bed, 
 Till the free spirit mounts on high, 
 
 By white-winged seraphs lerf: 
 Where glories earth may never know, 
 O'er ' many mansions' lingering, glow, 
 
 In peerless lustre shed ; 
 It were not lonely thus to soar 
 Where sin and grief can sting no more ." 
 
 One of the Philadelphia journals, in announcing his demise observes : 
 ' Mr. CI^ARK was a scholar, a poet, and a gentleman. ' None knew him but 
 to love him.' His health had for a long time been failing. The death of 
 his accomplished and lovely wife, a few years ago, upon whom he doated 
 with a passionate and rapturous fondness, had shaken his constitution, and 
 eaten his strength. None but intimate friends knew the influence of that 
 sad affliction upon his physical frame. To the last his heart yearned over 
 the dust of that lovely woman. In his death-chamber, her portrait stood 
 always before him on his table, and his loving eye turned to it even in ex- 
 tremest pain, as though it were his living and only friend.' This is literally 
 true. Beyond question, moreover, the seeds of the disease which finally 
 removed him from the world, were ' sown in sorrow' for the death of the 
 cherished companion of his bosom. His letters, his gradually-declining 
 health, his daily life, his published writings, all evince this. The rose on 
 the cheek and the canker at the heart do not nourish at the same time 
 The MS. of the 'Dirge in Autumn? came to us literally sprinkled with 
 spreading tear-drops ; and the familiar correspondence of the writer is re- 
 plete with kindred emotion. To the last moment of his life, he kept a col- 
 lection the letters of ' his Anne' under his pillow, which he as regularly pe- 
 rused every morning as his Bible and prayer-book. Her portrait, draped in 
 black, crossed the angle of the apartment, above his table, where it might 
 gaze ever upon him with its ' large, bright, spiritual eyes.' Never shall we 
 forget his apostrophe to that beautiful picture, when his * flesh and his heart 
 failed him,' and he knew that he must soon go hence, to be here no more : 
 ' Sleep on, my love !' said he, in the beautiful and touching words of the 
 Bishop of Chichester's ' Exequy on the Death of a Beloved Wife,' and in a 
 voice scarcely audible through his frequent sobs : 
 
 ' Sleep on, my love ? in thy cold bed, 
 Never to be disquieted : 
 My last ' good night' ! thou wilt not wake 
 Till I thy fate shall overtake :
 
 WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 15 
 
 Till age, or grief, or sickness, must 
 Marry my body to that dust 
 It so mucn loves ; and fill the room 
 My heart keeps vacant in thy tomb. 
 
 ' Stay for me there ; I will not fail 
 To meet thee in that hollow vale ; 
 And think not much of my delay, 
 I am already on the way ; 
 And follow thee with all the speed 
 Desire can make, or sorrows breed. 
 Each minute is a short degree, 
 And every hour a step toward thee ; 
 At night, when 1 betake to rest, 
 Next morn I rise nearer my West 
 Of life, almost by eight hours' sail, 
 Than when Sleep breathed his drowsy gale.' 
 
 Most just the tribute we have seen paid to the affection and patience and 
 grateful spirit of the deceased. To the last, his heart was full-fraught with 
 all lender reminiscences and associations. In the first stages of his illness, 
 when as yet it was scarcely known to affect his general routine of life, he 
 thus replies to a remonstrance from the writer against the growing infre- 
 quency of his familiar letters: 'In these spring days, LEWIS, all my old 
 feelings come freshly up, and assure me that I am unchanged. I shall be 
 the same always; so do you be. 'Twinn'd, both at a birth,' the only 
 pledges of o ur parents' union, we should be all the world to each other : 
 
 ' We are but two a little band 
 
 Be faithful till we die ; 
 Shoulder to shoulder let us stand, 
 Till side by side we lie !' 
 
 As he gradually grew weaker and weaker, the ' childhood of the soul* 
 seemed to be renewed ; the intellectual light to burn brighter and brighter, 
 and the chastened fancy to become more vivid and refined. He was for some 
 months aware that he had not long to live. ' I shall die,' said he, a few 
 weeks since, 'in the leafy month of June; beautiful season!' And turning 
 his head to gaze upon the ^ trees in the adjoining cemetery-grove, whose 
 heavy foliage was swaying in the summer wind, he murmured to himself the 
 touching lines of BRYANT : 
 
 ' I know, I know I shall not see 
 
 The season's glorious show, 
 Nor will its brightness shine for me, 
 
 Nor its wild music flow ; 
 But if around my place of sleep 
 The friends I love shall come to weep, 
 
 They may not haste to go : 
 Soft airs, and song, and light, and bloom, 
 Will keep them lingering by my tomb : 
 These to their softened hearts will bear 
 
 The thought of what has been, 
 And speak of one who cannot share 
 
 The gladness of the scene.' 
 
 How forcibly were the recollections of this scene borne in upon the 
 mind, as the long procession, following the friend for whom they mourned, 
 defiled into the gates of St. Peter's, on that brightest morning of the month 
 of his heart ; the officiating divine from whom we have quoted chaunting elo-
 
 16 MEMOIR, ETC. 
 
 quently the while the touching and beautiful service for the dead ! But 
 he has gone ! leaving behind him a name to live, as we trust, in the 
 heart of the nation. As a moral poet, we know not a line which dying he 
 could have wished to blot. He was an AMERICAN, in all his heart, and loved 
 to dwell upon the future destiny of his beloved country. He was a sincere, 
 unvarying, unflinching FRIEND ; and although in his long career as editor 
 of an influential daily journal, and in his enlarged intercourse in society, it were 
 not strange were it otherwise, yet it has been truly remarked by one of his 
 contemporaries all of whom, let us gratefully add, have borne the warm- 
 est testimony to his genius and his worth that 'it may be said Mr. CLAUK 
 had no enemy, and only encountered attacks from one or two coarse and 
 unworthy sources, against which no character, however gentle and deserving, 
 could have immunity.' Another observes, that it was in the character of 
 an editor that he won upon the feelings and affections of so many, aiid enti- 
 tled himself to the regard of his brethren of the press, toward whom he si- 
 ways acted with courtesy ; positive, when invited by kindred propriety ; 
 negative, when he believed unkindness or inability to appreciate courtesy 
 existed.' So to live among his fellow men as did the deceased, and at last, 
 * with heart-felt confidence in GOD, and the sacramental seal almost fresh 
 upon bis brow, gently to fall asleep in JKSUS, looking with a Christian's hope 
 fora Christian's reward,'* surely thits 'to die is gain!' And in view of 
 such a hope and such an end, well may we who, left behind to drag a 
 maimed life, exclaim with the poet : 
 
 ' Death ! thy freezing kiss 
 Emancipates the rest is bliss 
 I would I were away !' 
 
 IT may not be amiss to explain, in closing, that ' Ollapodiana 1 is intended 
 to designate the familiar chat or gossip, of a personage like Dr. OLLAPOO 
 in the play, upon all such themes as may chance to enlist the fancy or touch 
 the heart. The different chapters, although originally separated by inter- 
 vals of a month, and sometimes by a longer period, it is believed will be 
 found to lose none of their interest from being presented in consecutive or- 
 der. The great variety of style and theme by which they are character- 
 ized will save them from any charge of monotony. As many of the author's 
 best poems were introduced into this series of prose papers, I have not 
 thought it advisable to separate them from their original connection. In 
 one word, I have made the best arrangement of the materials I possessed 
 which I could, with the leisure left me from the cares of a never-ending 
 still-beginning literary avocation ; and I leave the result with the public, 
 anxious mainly to be acquitted of doing injustice to one whose ear is 'deaf 
 forever to the voice of praise,' but whose memory I would fain hope his 
 country will not ' willingly let die.' 
 
 LEWIS GATLORD CLARK. 
 
 New Yvrk, April, 1844. 
 
 Obituary in the Episcopal ' Banner of the Church.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA.
 
 VI VI 1 JL \ ll M >
 
 
 THE 
 
 LITERARY REMAINS, 
 
 ETC., ETC. 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 
 
 NUMBER ONE. 
 
 March, 1835. 
 
 GOOD READER, let us have a talk together. Sit you down 
 with benevolent optics, and a kindly heart, and I doubt not that 
 we shall pass an hour right pleasantly, one with another. Pleas- 
 antly, in part, but in part it may be, sadly ; for you know it is 
 with conversation, as with life ; it taketh various colors, and is 
 changing evermore. So we will expect these changes, and meet 
 them as they come. Sometimes we shall be in the cheerful vein, 
 and at others, in that subjunctive mood which conquers the jest on 
 the lip, and holds Humor in bonds. But for ' gude or ill,' I 
 shall desire you to sit with me. In the voices of Mirth, there 
 may be excitement, but in the tones of,Mourning there is conso- 
 lation. 
 
 So I think, dear reader, as I write this last sentence, and tell 
 you melancholy tidings. CHARLES LAMB is dead ! Yes, the 
 mild, the gentle Lamb, is gathered at last, pure as the innocent, 
 simple object that syllables his name, into the fold of God !* 
 Perfect Creator of rich conceits charming Architect of Periods, 
 whose delicate aroma, like balm from Gilead, yet loiters around 
 me ! ' how shall I mourn thee ?' Reader, I hope you knew 
 him, in that fond acquaintance which Authorship establishes be- 
 tween a writer and his admirers. What an Essayist was he ! 
 How shrewd in observation how discriminative of the burlesque 
 how quaint, yet melodious in diction in expression, how 
 varied ! Who ever rose from his pages, without brighter thoughts 
 
 * CHARLES LAMB, the author of ' Elia,' and one of the sweetest and most 
 graphic writers of the present era, died in London in December.
 
 20 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 and softer feelings ? If any one, let him distrust his heart, and 
 acquire new perceptions; for in my sense, 'tis better he should 
 have no perceptions, than be in the possession of qualities that 
 can not enable him to discern the merits of Lamb ; the contem- 
 plative graduate of ' Christ's,' at Oxford, who could fling the lus- 
 tre of his serene and goodly mind over every object ; who trailed 
 the flowery vines of Poetry along the formal walks of Prose, 
 until the scene brightened like a garden to the vision, and the 
 air was redolent of celestial odors ! When will his place be filled 
 again ? What hand may renew the leaves of ' Elia,' fresher and 
 greener than those of Spring ? What dainty finger will trace 
 that fair charactery of life, on foolscap or vellum more ? Alas, 
 dear reader, I fear me, none. How fine a scholar, too, was he ! 
 None of your plodding quoters of Greek and Latin, with senten- 
 ces longer than the longest Alexandrine, and a style rougher than 
 the wave by Charybdis ; but clear as the sky of May, and smooth 
 as the susurrations of a stream in Eden. O gentle Lamb ! My 
 heart could well indite, were my harp strung deftly for so sad a 
 theme, a flood of mournful eulogy at thy departure. What could 
 reconcile me to the truth that thou art indeed no more, but the 
 sublime and most comfortable assurance, that what is loss to 
 those who love thy memory, is but immortal gain to thee ! 
 
 Lamb excelled as a writer, (though it was not his profession,) 
 better than nine in ten, because he made the best sources of the 
 language his study and his enjoyment. He walked with the god- 
 like spirits of old English literature, like a compeer among his 
 fellows ; he sat him down beneath the royal and purple shadows 
 of their mighty mantles, and ate of the manna which descended 
 around. How numerous and how worthy were his intellectual 
 companions ! Shakspeare was his bosom friend ; and with Chau- 
 cer, Sidney, Warwick, Spenser, Overbury, Brown, and Walton, 
 he ' strayed among the fields, hearing as it were the voice of 
 GOD.' 
 
 Yet Lamb had his carping critics, and mayhap his delicious 
 sentences were often caviare to the million. But they will live 
 and be cherished, when we are no more. Every age to come 
 will possess a fitting audience, but not a few, that shall wear him 
 pre-eminent in their approval, and venerate his name. 
 
 I will not consent to speak of the degenerated taste of modern 
 times, until the comments on Shakspeare, the passages of Elia, 
 or the pure nature of Elizabeth Woodville shall be forgotten ; 
 and then, I will lament more in sorrow than in anger. I shall 
 begin then to think, that the well of English undefiled has become 
 polluted into a polyglott cistern ; that its freshness has departed ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 21 
 
 and that, for the spirits who love it, it will well no more, except 
 from those rare and secluded fountains, the Elder Libraries, 
 tasted but seldom, and heard of by few. 
 
 Charles Lamb had no common mind. It was exquisitely 
 gentle, but its simple delineations were ever true to life, and 
 therefore strong. His pen was imbued with the humor of a 
 Cruikshank, yet he was no caricaturist, and never distorted. 
 Even amidst the cold and calculating details of the India House, 
 his fancy was ever exuberant : yet he never outraged probability 
 in the pursuit of his bent ; he travelled not out of his path for 
 humor : it dropped like running water from his pen. In happy 
 words, and forms of speech, he was lord of the ascendant. I do 
 confess myself his warm admirer ; and I deplore his exit, not as 
 one who grieves without hope : for though he is lost to lands be- 
 low the sun, he has proceeded to set up his everlasting rest in a 
 better country, where the day does not darken, and Death hangs 
 no cloud. In all things a lover of purity, he has gone at last, 
 full of years and ripe in wisdom, where all is pure among the 
 troops of shining ones, in the heavenly Jerusalem. 
 
 TALKING of Jerusalem, reminds me odd coincidence ! 
 of Rapelje's Narrative. That handsome volume, from the pen 
 of'a fellow townsman, contains many an instructive and pleasant 
 page. But it is the misfortune of the traveller, I think, that he 
 has been too negligent in his records. When he sojourns in 
 France or Italy, we are sure that what he says is the truth, even 
 to the purchase of a night-cap ; but when he quotes the language, 
 we perceive at once, that he gathers his orthography from his 
 ear. He speaks for example, of the Save (Sevres) China Manu- 
 factory near Paris. Now, ' Save China,' is very well, as an ad- 
 monitory phrase of household ceconomy ; but in any other sense, 
 especially when used as a proper name, it is at least radically 
 wrong, in everything but sound. In Rome, our author lodged 
 in Strada-street. He may have done so : but I guess he mis- 
 took the name. Strada is street in Italian, they tell me, as also 
 is via ; and I was forcibly reminded by this presumptive error, 
 of the remark made by an American sailor, in a letter addressed 
 to a friend, from Paris, during the famous trots jours, wherein he 
 describes a man whom he 'see;?, with skase the valey of a rag on 
 his back, running down Rue-street, and yelling ' Vimj la Shirt!' '* 
 The sound of a word, more especially in a foreign lingo, is a 
 most delusive criterion of its orthographical construction. The 
 
 * Vive la charte.
 
 22 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 unfortunate woman in Humphrey Clinker, made a sad verbal 
 faux pas in her own tongue, in the description of a night passed 
 in vexing and grieving, when she wrote that she had been 'a 
 vixen and griffin all along the corse of the night.' 
 
 To return. It is in the East that our ancient townsman sees 
 with a clearer eye, and writes with simplicity and taste. His 
 sketch of Jerusalem is distinct and vivid. Strange, mysterious 
 city ! What a hold it hath upon every imagination ! How 
 linked in, is it, with recollections of the times of youth ; with 
 lessons from the Scriptures, delivered by the priest of our earliest 
 days, from the sweet Olive mount of childhood ! Straightway 
 as we read of that Metropolis of Faith, we go back on the post- 
 ing wings of Reminiscence, to the green fields and fresh waters 
 of serener years. We hear the chimes of Sabbath bells, the 
 voices of the choir, and the pealing of that delicious organ, whose 
 diapason was rapture, whose triumphant harmony kindled the 
 soul. Associations of Bethlehem and merry Christmas mingle 
 together ; and the babe in the manger is contrasted with the 
 green-wreathed churches and blessings of Home. A hallowed 
 word, indeed, is Jerusalem. The great temple of Solomon, the 
 gate that looked toward Damascus, the Via Dolorosa, along 
 which our Saviour walked, to suffer a guiltless death these, 
 with a thousand other scenes of interest, arise to the mind at the 
 mere mention of that devoted city, from whose mountain-girt cir- 
 cumference were once rejected the brooding wings of the Al- 
 mighty. How many pilgrims have gone there; how many have 
 died there, in the ' entering in of the ways ;' in the billows of 
 Jordan ! How many crusaders, battling for the cross of their 
 order ; franklins, deserting the oaken halls of their far eastern 
 castles ; fair penitents, distrusting themselves and relying on God ; 
 palmers, with ' sandal-shoon and scallop-shell !' 
 
 Good reader, in your black letter researches, if haply you 
 have made them, did you ever meet with that right venerable 
 tome, ' The Informacion for Pylgrymes unto y e holy land, that 
 is to wyte, to Rome, and to Jherusaleme ?' A pleasing ' 4to.' 
 it is ; and was * emprynted at Londone, in the Flete-strete, at the 
 signe of y e sonne, by Wynkyne de Worde, in the yere of God, 
 m cccc and xxiiij.' In those days, Europe used to pour her 
 yearly thousands into the lap of Palestine. How differently peo- 
 ple travelled then, from the modern tourist, in the era of Rapelje ! 
 The author of the ' Informacion' went from Venice. With 
 seemly modesty, his departure is thus set down : ' In the seven 
 and twenty day of the moneth June, there passed fro Venyse, 
 under sayle out of the haven of Venyse, at the sonne goinge
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 23 
 
 down, certayne pilgrymes toward Jherusaleme, in a shyppe of a 
 merchant of Venyse, y'called lohn Moreson. The patrone of 
 the same shyppe was y'called Luke mantell. To the nombre of 
 Ix. and syxe pylgrimes : every man payinge, some more some 
 lesse, as they might accorde with the patrone.' There were no 
 packet-cabins then, with fine wines and fixed prices ! Every 
 tourist was obliged to provision himself. The ' informacion' on 
 this point, and the advice, must have been very serviceable to 
 those who follow the author. He says : ' Hyre you a cage for 
 halfe a dozene hennes or chekyns to have with you in the shyppe 
 or galey. For ye shal have neede of hem, manie times. And 
 buy you halfe a bushell of mele sede at Venyse for them. Also 
 take a barrel with you for a sege for your chambre in the shyppe ; 
 it is ful necessary if ye were seke, that you come not into the 
 ayre. Also whan you comen to haven townes, yf she shall tarry 
 there three days, go by times to lande ; for then ye may have 
 lodginge before another : it wyl be take up anone. And when 
 you come to dyuers havens, beware of fruytes that ye ete none 
 for nothynge ; for they be not accordinge to our complexion, and 
 they gendre a bloudie fluxe. And yf any englishmanne catch 
 that there sekenesse, it is a greate mervayle but and he dye 
 thereof.' 
 
 ' The mountains stand yet round about Jerusalem ;' and amid 
 the ravages of years and the visits of pilgrims, from Sir John 
 Maunderville to Chateaubriand and Rapelje, the city has kept 
 her Great Wonders still. For ages, her objects of holy curiosity 
 have not essentially changed. ' These,' says our author, ' ben 
 the pylgrimages within the cytee of Iherusaleme. The fyrst is 
 before the temple of y e sepulchre dore. There is a four-square 
 stone, whyte, whereupon Chryste rested hym with his crosse 
 whan hee went toward the mount of Calvarie, where is indul- 
 gence vii yeeres and vii lentes. Also the howse of the ryche 
 man which denyed Lazare y e crommes of breed.' How little 
 mutation has been made by time, in these grand characteristics 
 of Jerusalem ! Yet since this pilgrimage was written, what 
 changes have occurred among the nations of the earth ! The 
 cities of America have arisen, like exhalations, from the wilder- 
 ness : revolution has followed revolution : rivers of blood, and 
 ' hecatombs of men,' have testified the march of Death ; yet lonely, 
 simple Jerusalem, afar in the East, surrounded by desperate 
 hordes and^HRny plains, with none but moral attractions, yet 
 lingers in her desolation. There the Roman, the Armenian, and 
 the Greek Catholics, fight bloody battles on the sacred mount of
 
 24 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Calvary, over the multiplied holes of the cross,* and lift up the 
 voice of riot and slaughter, even in the sepulchre of Christ. 
 
 There was a kind-heartedness among those ancient pylgrimes, 
 which is not to be found in our selfish days. If they encounter- 
 - ed any unpleasant adventures, and they were avoidable, they 
 would instruct others how to shun them. In the matter of diet, 
 they used to be particularly minute ; and I am strongly inclined 
 to think, that those old cosmopolites used to be right good livers. 
 They seemed to have an innate hankering after 'creature com- 
 forts j' and whatever they found, at any haven, that was good, 
 they speedily mentioned the same in their books, for the especial 
 benefit of those who should come after, as a kind of advertisement. 
 
 BY the way, while discoursing of advertisements, I think I may 
 say that they form one of the strong characteristics of our enter- 
 prising people. Look into the newspapers ; how they teem with 
 these tidings of life ! I love to look them over. What a vast 
 amount of interests they represent how many hopes and fears ! 
 From * Tin plates and spelter,' to ' A Wife Wanted,' they are 
 pleasing to read : and I am glad, when I see an avis that I have 
 watched for some time daily, at last disappear. It is a sign that 
 the author has had his wish accomplished j has sold his com- 
 modities, or found what he sought. 
 
 There is just about the same difference between the orthogra- 
 phy and grace of city and country advertisements, that there is 
 between the manners of town and country people. Many of the 
 rural merchants expose their wares in poetry ; they sell muslins 
 or groceries, by long metre, and chant the praises of wooden 
 bowls and codfish, on the murmuring lyre. Methinks it should 
 go hard with customers, if such harmonious notifications do not 
 usually take good effect for their authors. Legal advertisements, 
 by humble functionaries, have not this privilege. They must be 
 confined to the prose though not to the letter of law; for im- 
 agination sometimes gambols through them, in a most wanton 
 quest of new combinations of letters. In the course of my re- 
 searches, I have possessed myself of sundry notices in the adver- 
 tising and business line, two or three of which I subjoin. That 
 
 THE holes of the three crosses on which our SAVIOUR and the two thieves were 
 crucified, have increased to between one and two dozen. Each of the divided 
 threes are shown as the true ones. During some of the ^^festivals, as we 
 learn from modern travellers, the contests of the different ^^^^k claiming the 
 true holes of those trees of death, are sanguinary and ferocioMi the extreme. 
 Several combatants have died in these bitter broils on the very spot where a GOD 
 expired, to give peace to men.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 25 
 
 which immediately followeth, was not long since promulgated in 
 a sister State. It is an 
 
 ' ADWERTISEMEITT. 
 
 4 To be sold by public vandue, upon Saderdey the 23th day of November 
 
 next, at the house of Eva T n, wedo deseesct in Newmanstown, all 
 
 sutch personabel property of the said wedo in above menchent to wit one 
 good milcks cow and hey by the hundred 2 ten pleet stoves with pips one 
 weel barow one close covert and kitchien tresser tebells and 3 cheers, tups 
 and barrils one larp cauper kittil and iron potts 3 beds and bedstets 3 cheests 
 and a large quantate of flax and linnen stuff and all kinds of other hous and 
 kitchein furniturs to tichues to menchen the vandue to begin at 10 of the 
 clock of the forenon. Resonabel greted will be give and the conddition 
 maid noen on the day of sail by S. B. , Administrator.' 
 
 There is no question at all, that the officer who penned the 
 foregoing instrument felt the full force of his station when he com- 
 mitted it to paper. He luxuriated in the mighty authority re- 
 posed in him by the law ' T and looked forward, no doubt, with 
 sublime anticipations to the time when he should expose to the 
 highest bidder c the parsonabel property of the wedo deseesct,' 
 and receive his perquisites therefor. He had no notion, I will be 
 sworn, that he was writing himself down an Ass, as well as an 
 Administrator. The effusions of such a linguist are exceedingly 
 edifying to read. They remind me of a noted personage in one 
 of our large cities, who has amassed a splendid fortune, by the 
 manufacture of certain medicines of doubtful utility. Having 
 neglected his education, and being often thrown into society above 
 his sphere, he is as often the butt of many polished persons, who 
 love to bore him with spurious learning, and who frequently re- 
 sort to the magnificent mansion where he dwells in dismal and 
 uncongenial gentility. * Sir,' said one of these wags to him not 
 long ago, 'your medicinal discoveries are invaluable immortal: 
 they stamp you as the benefactor of your race ; and it will yet be 
 said of you, as HOMER said of Oliver Cromwell : ' Frigidi zoni t 
 hoc belloni, lapsus linguae /' ' 
 
 'No doubt of it!' said the flattered individual; 'and I thank 
 you for the compliment. Yet still for all, notwithstanding what 
 you say, my honors is very small, and my enemies is very nu- 
 merous : numerouser, a great sight, than they was when I wa'nt 
 so well for to do. It was only the other day, that I got a letter, 
 threatening egregiously for to burn down my consarn by means 
 of a conflagigtfh, if I didn't persist from uttering them medi- 
 
 ' Was tn^TOter anonymous ?' 
 
 ' Not it ; and there, you see, I had the author on the hip. He 
 dassent prescribe a syonymous communication to me, and so
 
 26 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 with unparalleled insurance he subscribed to his epistle the sig- 
 nature of ' A. B. C.' It is well known, them letters is, to mosi 
 people ; and I shall bring the author into a court, before the 
 month is out, on a plea of sasJC -a-rarrow /' 
 
 BUSINESS, like Misfortune, makes one acquainted with strange 
 matters. Here, for instance, is a bill, written by a very choice 
 Italian, in language which he fain supposed to have been the 
 quintessence of good English. It was tendered to an esteemed 
 citizen, well known for his taste. Such a document is worth 
 four dollars, without any additional value received. I offer the 
 original, and a translation, which the author little thought it 
 needed : 
 
 MR. HUON SQWAR, 
 
 To JULIAN G R, Dr. 
 
 Busto Vaccenton, j f :W; -'.HR wn .:nil.7. - $200 
 Busto Guispier, ; *;, ,v-<< | .v -.>.. t \\ ~<nl rt -..:wjj ->*!, 200 
 
 I think it would puzzle any one to ascertain the ' intent of this 
 bill,' without much pondering and reflection. It would be laid 
 on the table, in despair, by nine persons in ten. But when 
 touched by the key of cogitation, its latent meanings flash forth 
 to day. Here is the literal rendering : 
 
 MR. HONE, Esq. 
 
 To JULIAN G R, Dr. 
 
 Bust of Washington, $2 00 
 
 Bust of Shakspeare, - 'rf " 2 00 
 
 After such a document, I might best close. But I have one 
 other notice from the interior, (the autographs of all are extant,) 
 which I admire no less for its orthography, than for its grammar 
 and punctuation : 
 
 ' NOTICE 
 
 OF the supscriber hoses wos misen august the 15 1834 Lost of a span 
 of hoses straid or stole out of the comons at liverpool a small black mayor 
 switch tale nine yeres old a small bay maire too white feet behine and a short 
 taile and a bout eight teen yeres old five dolars reward on them the oner of 
 them hoses lives in townd of clay. D. R D.' 
 
 Farther than these, nothing need be said. They are exhibi- 
 tions of business talent, much to be applauded, but which, at the 
 same time, might be materially enhanced by the benefits of edu- 
 cation. Howbeit, the schoolmaster is abroad^fcnd the rising 
 generation will embrace few who cannot unders^B Bfc e ferity of 
 the dolt's premises in Shakspeare, who conteno^TOit ' reading 
 and writing come by nature.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 27 
 
 NUMBER TWO. 
 
 May, 1835. 
 
 WELL, Spring is coming at last, with smiles such as she used 
 to wear in my childhood, when she stepped over the glowing 
 mountains, with light and song in her train. The feelings of 
 better years are kindling within me, as I look from my window 
 over the blossoming gardens of the city, regale my nostrils with 
 the inhalation of the air from fresh waters, and taste the fragrance 
 which sweeps over the town from the flowering trees in yonder 
 ' fashionable square.' If there is any positive enjoyment on 
 earth, one gets an inkling of it, on a spring day, when his heart 
 is not worn, and ' his bosom is young.' It is a blessed time ; 
 and he who feels it has a right to say so, even at the expense of 
 being called a proser. I love to sit, as I do now, by my case- 
 ment, with the gale melting all over my forehead, (like an invisi- 
 ble touch of benediction from some spirit-hand,) and mark the 
 rosy clouds move along the west, as the hum of the city dies upon 
 the ear, and the aerial currents of evening are taking their course 
 over the vast inland from the sea. I feel, at such moments, that 
 I have an indestructible soul ; that the GOD whose fingers lifted 
 the mountains to their places, and set the sun in heaven, likewise 
 lights the human spirit from the exhaustless fountain of His pow- 
 er. I muse upon the littleness of man, and the greatness of his 
 CREATOR, until the thought exalts my contemplations aloft, and I 
 am lost in wonder. 
 
 There is nothing so graceful as a cloud. It is the richest thing 
 in nature, except a wave in its dissolution. How beautifully its 
 painted sides flaunt along the west ! If you would see clouds, 
 you must see them in the West. I have watched those that were 
 engendered by the sprays of Niagara, and the winds of Ontario, 
 floating eastwardly from the Occident, until every fold was bapti- 
 zed in molten ruby, amber, and vermillion ; and as the vast cur- 
 tain rolled upward above the mountains, leaving only a few thin 
 bars of crimson across a sky of the tenderest violet, I have re- 
 peated those beautiful lines of Gliick : 
 
 L ethinks it were no pain to die, 
 such an eve, when such a sky 
 O'ercanopies the West ; 
 To gaze my fill on yon calm deep, 
 And like an infant, sink to sleep 
 On earth, my mother's breast.
 
 There's peace and welcome in yon sea 
 Of endless blue tranquility 
 
 Those clouds are living things ; 
 I trace their veins of liquid gold, 
 I see them solemnly unfold 
 
 Their soft and fleecy wings. 
 
 Clouds are like flowers, in their fading and passing away. 
 We lose them with regret. Thoughts of our last hour come 
 upon us, as we watch them die, and we almost wish to die with 
 them : to say 
 
 Come now, oh, Death ! thy freezing kiss 
 Emancipates ; the rest is bliss 
 I would 1 were away! 
 
 I am led, in looking at clouds, to think of the past, and the 
 mysterious awe with which they were regarded in the ol^en time. 
 In the days of Tacitus, when the Roman armies approached a 
 town to besiege it, and the shadows of clouds lay upon it, they 
 would postpone their warfare until the sun-light was there. I 
 think of those old ballads, where desolate ladies are represented 
 in their castles, watching the clouds as they sailed up the sky 
 from France into England, envying their elevation and scope of 
 view, and building a thousand dreams, as fantastic as they. 
 
 MENTIONING the past, causes me to revert to Charles Lamb. 
 In a former number I spoke warmly in his praise, but I gave no 
 taste of his quality. From the past, he cannot be dissociated. 
 It was a realm in which he lived. There grew the vines and fig 
 trees under which he sate him down, not in ' sullenness and 
 gloom,' but with the light of an exuberant fancy ever kindling at 
 his heart. Believing that he was ike writer on whom the mantle 
 of Shakspeare did the most manifestly descend, I am bound U> 
 * give a reason for the faith that is in me.' This I shall do, by 
 quoting a few passages from his works. John Woodvil, a trage- 
 dy from his pen, affords a copious supply of Shaksperian thought, 
 and fully justifies the remark of Hunt, that ' Lamb, and he alone, 
 was worthy to have heard, by the lips of the Bard of Avon, the 
 recital of a scene in any one of his immortal plays, hot from the 
 brain.' I must of course be brief in my quotations ; but a few 
 will suffice. John Woodvil is beloved by Margaret Woodvil, 
 an orphan ward of his father, Sir Walter. I^^ecomes cold 
 and distant to her, and she deserts Woodvil E^^^Ler addres- 
 sing him a kind, womanly letter. The followin|^^his reflec- 
 tions on its perusal : 
 
 Gone ! gone, my girl ? So hasty, Margaret, 
 And never a kiss at parting 1 Shallow loves,
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 29 
 
 And likings of a ten-day's growth, use courtesies, 
 
 And show red eyes at parting. Who bids ' farewell* 
 
 In the same tone he cries ' GOD speed you, sir ? ' 
 
 Or tells of joyful victories at sea, 
 
 Where he hath ventures, does not rather muffle 
 
 His organs to emit a leaden sound, 
 
 To suit the melancholy dull 'farewell* 
 
 Which they in Heaven not use? 
 
 So peevish, Margaret! 
 
 But 'tis the common error of your sex, 
 
 When our idolatry slackens or grows less, 
 
 (As who of woman born, can keep his faculty 
 
 Forever strained to the pitch? or can. at pleasure, 
 
 Make it renewable, as some appetites are, 
 
 As namely, hunger, thirst?) this being the case, 
 
 They tax us with neglect, and love grown cold, 
 
 Coin plajnings of the perfidy of men, 
 
 Which into maxims pass, and apophthegms, 
 
 To be retailed in ballads. 
 
 By the way, the word apophthegm reminds me of the numer- 
 ous sayings current in this country, that are utterly unsusceptible 
 of meaning or explanation. Thus, when a person is eccentric, 
 he is pronounced ' as odd as Dick's hat band.' The origin of 
 this native apophthegm is buried in obscurity. In vain does 
 curiosity inquire who was the mysterious Richard, with taste 
 unique, and hat-band odd ? Was it Richard the III. ? or Coeur 
 de Lion ? Probably not the former. The only queer things 
 about that monarch, were his misshapen back, and his knee-band ; 
 an article which his proud representatives of the stage wear only 
 on one leg, a custom certainly odd, because, according to the 
 antique rule, ' One is odd, and two are even.' Most men have 
 but one hat-band. It is considered sufficient and no man has 
 two : if he had, it would be odd indeed. A mass of reasoning 
 on this subject presses itself at present upon my mind ; but I pass 
 to other sayings. When one is good humored, it is apt to be 
 remarked that ' He is as smiling as a basket of chips.' Now 
 reader, is there anything so very humorous in a basket of chips ? 
 Does it wear a smile ? I never could perceive that it did. A 
 basket of this sort is as much devoid of expression, as the whites 
 of Job's eggs were of taste. I have gathered many a basket full 
 of chips in the country, for the gay mid-winter's fire ; but really 
 they never smiled. There is no lineament of pleasure in a basket 
 thus replenished. The contents lend a glow to the farmer's par- 
 lor, and tli.it is their only smile; a compulsory brightness, which 
 consumes th^BWts light, like ' a cheerful look from a breaking 
 heart.' I take this to be sound logic, but have not, as yet, availed 
 myself of any archaeological commentaries on the subject.
 
 30 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 When an individual, also, is in a state of extreme inebriety, it is 
 observed of him, that ' He is as blue as a razor.' Now under 
 favor and correction, I would express my belief that a razor hath 
 not that cerulean hue spoken of ' i' the adage.' It is of a bright 
 and silvery aspect, and the sheen thereof is entirely unlike the 
 sky, or any other azure element or tint whatever. How the say- 
 ing became extant, is beyond the lore of the antiquary. I have 
 consulted several grave old gentlemen on the subject, and they 
 all tell me that the saying is only valuable from its exceeding 
 longevity. They have heard it, they say, from the lips of their 
 great grandfathers, but comprehend not its fitness or sense. Age 
 is its protection, and it continues to be received as a good phrase, 
 merely because the memory of man runneth not to the contrary 
 of its acceptance. 
 
 But to return to Lamb. In a dialogue in Sherwood Forest, 
 between Margaret Woodvil, and Simon the brother of John, the 
 following beautiful passage occurs : 
 
 Margaret. What sports do you use i' the forest ? 
 
 Simon. Not many; some few; as thus: 
 To see the sun to bed, and to arise, 
 Like some hot amourist, with glowing eyes, 
 Bursting the lazy bonds of sleep that bound him, 
 With all his fires and travelling glories round him. 
 Sometimes, the moon on soft night clouds to rest, 
 Like Beauty, nestling in a young man's breast, 
 And all the winking stars, her handmaids, keep 
 Admiring silence while those lovers sleep ; 
 Sometimes, outstretcht in very idleness, 
 Naught doing, saying little, thinking less, 
 To view the leaves, their dancers upon air, 
 Go eddying round : and small birds, how they fare, 
 When mother Autumn fills their beaks with corn, 
 Filcht from the careless Almathea's horn. 
 
 How completely is the subjoined colloquy drenched with the 
 spirit of Shakspeare : 
 
 Lovel. I marvel that the poets, who of all men, methinks, should possess 
 the hottest livers, and most empyreal fancies, should affect to see such 
 virtues in cold water. 
 
 John Woodvil. Because your poet hath an internal wine richer than lip- 
 para or canaries, yet uncrushed from any grapes of earth, unpressed hi 
 mortal wine-presses. 
 
 Lovel. What may be the name of this wine ? 
 
 John. It hath as many names as qualities. It is d^pminated indiffer- 
 ently, wit, conceit, invention, inspiration ; but its most royafiMcomprehensive 
 name is fancy. 
 
 Lovel. And where keeps he this sovereign liquor ? 
 
 John. Its cellars are in the brain, whence your true poet deriveth intox- 
 ication at will ; while his animal spirits, catching a pride from the quality
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 31 
 
 and neighborhood of their noble relative, the brain, refuse to be sustained 
 by wines and fermentations of earth. 
 
 Equally Shaksperian is the following fancy portrait of an honest, 
 confidential friend : 
 
 This Lovel here's of a tough honesty, 
 
 Would put the rack to the proof. He is not of that sort 
 
 Which haunt my house, snorting the liquors, 
 
 And when their wisdoms are afloat with wine, 
 
 Spend vows as fast as vapors, which go off, 
 
 Even with the fumes, their fathers. He is one, 
 
 Whose sober morning actions 
 
 Shame not his o'er night's promises ; 
 
 Why this is he, whom the dark-wisdomed Fate 
 
 Might trust her counsels of predestination with, 
 
 And the world be no loser. 
 
 No one, it seems to me, of all the race of modern writers, has 
 been so completely successful as Lamb, in the power of imbuing 
 a composition with the true style and spirit of ancient English. 
 Upon his ear alone, would seem to have melted the sweet and 
 majestic harmonies of the olden time ; and, from a skill acquired 
 by familiarity with that golden age of his native tongue, he touched 
 his pen, to awaken in every reader a glow of enthusiasm. 
 
 TALKING of enthusiasm, leads me to say, that of all places 
 wherein one can catch a glow of sacred transport, commend me 
 to a Methodist meeting-house. I am no bigoted religionist. I 
 have a feeling of deference and respect for every sect that wor- 
 ships GOD ; and about none particularly, have I either prejudice 
 or predilection. But I must allow that in no convocations, save 
 those of that church, did I ever hear so much to move my sensi- 
 bility ; to quicken, as by a sudden shock, the pulses of the heart, 
 and to rouse the affections by a rapid and irresistible pathos. 
 Often, from pure volition, do I wander away from the more flash- 
 ing streets of the metropolis, into some of those quiet haunts 
 whose retirement seems to denote the absence of society and the 
 world. I enter the humble porch, and with a feeling of reveren- 
 tial simplicity, I sit me down. The pulpit is occupied by two 
 or three speakers. One is engaged in exhortation. With justi- 
 fiable tact, he has been selected as the first, in order to give him 
 ' fair play,' as he is evidently the weakest o the clerical trio. I 
 perceive in him nothing extraordinary. He doles forth a sermon, 
 full of common-places, and 
 
 card in conventicles :' 
 
 ' in that nasal twang 
 
 but his brevity is studied, and the clerical foil takes his seat, 
 while the brighter gem, whose eloquence he has set off in antici-
 
 32 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 pation, arises. He is young, and handsome. The disposition 
 of his dress and contour betokens the presence of one who is 
 desirous, primarily, of impressing his hearers ' by that first appeal 
 which is to the eye ;' and secondly, to inspire them with the elo- 
 quent fires that are slumbering in his brain and bosom. At first, 
 his voice is low and indistinct ; anon, it aspires into a melliffluous 
 cadence, until every heart is moved, and every lip tremulous 
 with a sigh. Such an one I heard, not many months ago. He 
 commenced with the text, ' I have been young, and now I am 
 old ; yet have I never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed 
 begging bread.' In his pictures of youth and age, and of the 
 sole consolation, * the one thing needful,' which should sustain 
 both, he broke forth into the following sublime emblem : 
 
 ' My friends, as I look down from this advantageous eminence, 
 upon the different mortal ages that appear before me ; upon 
 cheeks painted with the rosy bloom of childhood, and lips redo- 
 lent with the fragrance of spring ; when I contrast them with the 
 corrugated lineaments and snow-sprinkled temples of age, my 
 mind labors with a fearful comparison. I contrast the full veins 
 and fair moulded features of childhood with the thin and shrivel- 
 led aspects of declining years ; and I liken them all to the scenes 
 which we meet with on the broad ocean of existence. In our 
 better days, we leave the pleasant land of youth in a fairy barque ; 
 the sunshine laughs upon the pennon, and trembles on the sail ; 
 the sweet winds refresh our nostrils from the flowery shore, the 
 blue vistas delight our eyes, the waves dance in brightness beneath 
 our keel ; the sky smiles above us, the sea around us, and the 
 land behind us, as it recedes ; and before, a track of golden 
 brightness seems to herald our way. Time wears on and the 
 shore fades to the view. The barque and its inmates are alone 
 on the ocean. The sky becomes clouded ; the invisible winds 
 sweep with a hollow murmur along the deep ; the sun sinks like 
 a mass of blood over the waters, which rise and tumble in mad 
 confusion through a wide radius of storm ; the clouds, like 
 gloomy curtains, are lifting from afar. The sails are rent ; the 
 tackle disparts ; broken cordage streams and whistles to the tem- 
 pest ; the waves burst like molten mountains upon the half sub- 
 merged and shuddering deck ; masts are rent in splinters ; the 
 seaman is washed from the wheel. Cries of terror and anguish 
 mingle with the remorseless dash of billows, and the howling of 
 thunder and storm. The foundered boat sinks as she launches ; 
 the deck is breaking. God of mercy ! Who shall appear for the 
 rescue ? Where fold the arms that are mighty to save ? Men 
 and brethren aid is near at hand. Through the rifts of the tern-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 33 
 
 pest, beaming over the tumultuous waters, moves a pavilion of 
 golden light. The midnight is waning ; gushes of radiance 
 sprinkle the foam ; a towering form smiles on the eyes of the 
 despairing voyagers, encircled with a halo of glory. It is the 
 SAVIOUR of Man it is the Ark of the Covenant ! It moves on- 
 ward ; the waves rush back on either hand ; and over a track 
 of calm expanse, the Ark is borne. Who steps from its side, 
 and walks over the deep, as if upon the land ? It is the great 
 Captain of our Salvation the Mighty to Save ? He rescues the 
 drowning from death, the hopeless from gloom. He stills the 
 fury of the tempest ; and for the spirit of mourning, he gives the 
 song of rejoicing and the garments of praise. Ark of the Cove- 
 nant ! roll this way ! We are sinking in the deep waters ; and 
 there is none to deliver ! Let the prayer be offered, and it will 
 save us all !' 
 
 Such is a faint sketch of the exhortation I have mentioned. 
 In illustrating this point, the preacher said : ' Let not this sketch 
 be deemed the dream of a fanciful mind. We are the voyagers, 
 ours is the danger, and GOD is the Power who guides the Ark of 
 Deliverance. These things are not visible to the naked, mortal 
 eye, but their truth is the same. The things which are seen are 
 temporal ; from them depend those momentous things which are 
 unseen and eternal. How shall I illustrate the boundless differ- 
 ence between the glories of the spiritual and temporal world ? 
 Some years ago, I remember, I was in a town in a neighboring 
 State when there chanced an eclipse of the sun. I had for- 
 gotten the anticipated event, and was reading in my room, un- 
 mindful of the pale and sickly twilight that had gradually stolen 
 over my page. A friend came in, and said, ' Brother, are you 
 aware that the eclipse is now taking place ?' I answered no ; and 
 joining him, I walked down into the long broad street. It was 
 full of people ; and the houses of the town, on all sides, were 
 covered with the population. I took a small fragment of smoked 
 glass, and surveyed the sun. It was nearly obscured by the 
 other sphere, and by the clouds which, clad in gloomy light, 
 were sailing fitfully by. After a little while I retired to my apart- 
 ment, but for nearly an hour was totally blind. Now, my be- 
 loved friends, that mighty orb, even when, as at this present, it 
 sails in unclouded majesty above us, throwing its floods of light 
 upon the far-off mountain, the arid desert, the fertile valley, or 
 the heaving main, that glorious orb is but a faint spark at the foot 
 of the Omnipotent a dimly-lighted lamp, feebly glimmering on 
 the outer verge of that transcendent world, whose glories are un- 
 seen and eternal.' 
 
 3
 
 34 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 \ I 
 
 To appreciate bursts of pulpit eloquence like these, you must 
 hear them. You must have partaken of the excitement which 
 warms the speaker, and spreads like a sweet contagion, if I may 
 so speak, among his auditory. You must see the faces of young 
 an<J old lighted up with a solemn interest ; and when he goes on 
 to depict the goodness of the SAVIOUR, you should mark the tear- 
 ful features beaming in loveliness from the galleries ; hear the sobs 
 of irrepressible rapture which attest the animation of the believ- 
 ing; and anon your own heart is so melted with enthusiasm, that 
 when the rich, trembling tones of the congregation are blended in 
 the hymn, you seem carried aloft on wings of extacy, by the in- 
 fectious transport of the scene. I have listened to the ad captan- 
 dum eloquence of many a ' popular' divine, without emotion, 
 and heard, indifferently, the incontrovertible propositions of many 
 a * stately son of demonstration ;' but when I desire to be sub- 
 dued and melted in simple feeling, I go to a Methodist meeting. 
 Something humble and holy is there ; the distinctions of this life 
 are lost in the contemplation of that which is to come ; the music 
 rings in tender supplication at the door of my heart ; and I come 
 away, feeling for days like a purer and a better man. There be 
 many who visit such places for amusement ; to mimic the prayer 
 of the righteous, and sneer at the stay of the comfortless and the 
 aged ; but he who would thus insult his GOD, is worse than a 
 reptile. 
 
 I HAVE heard many definitions of PUNS. It has been gener- 
 ally conceded that the worst are the best. The most far-fetched 
 are certainly the most unexpected, and consequently the most 
 humorous. What can be better in this way than Hood's des- 
 cription of Ben. Battle, in the conflict ? 
 
 4 A cannon ball took off his legs 
 And he laid down his arms :" 
 
 Or that doleful announcement, after his death, when 
 
 They went and tdd the Sexton, 
 And the Sexton toWd the bell !' 
 
 Things like these make one laugh every time they are thought 
 of. They are irresistible to the most ordinary apprehension. 
 Looking over my dear familiar Lamb's works the other day, I 
 encountered some comments on a pun, which, with the example 
 offered, are so admirable, that I transcribe them entire. 
 
 A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a 
 pistol let off at the ear ; not a feather to tickle the intellect. It is 
 an antic which does not stand upon manners, but comes bounding
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 35 
 
 into the presence, and does not show the less comic for being 
 dragged in sometimes by the head and shoulders. What though 
 it limp a little, or prove defective in one leg ? All the better. 
 A pun may easily be too curious and artificial. Who has not at 
 one time or other been at a party of professors, (himself perhaps, 
 an old offender in that line,) where, after ringing a round of the 
 most ingenious conceits, every man contributing his shot, and 
 some there the most expert shooters of the day ; after making a 
 poor word run the gauntlet till it is ready to drop ; after hunting 
 and winding through all the possible ambages of similar sounds ; 
 after squeezing, and hauling, and tugging at it, till the very milk 
 of it will not yield a drop further, suddenly some obscure, un- 
 thought-of fellow ^ a corner, who was never 'prentice to the 
 trade 3 , whom the company for very pity passed over, as we do by 
 a known poor nian when a money-subscription is going round, 
 no one callir^ u P on ^ im f r m ' s quota ; has all at once come out 
 with som(* mn g so whimsical yet so pertinent ; so brazen in its 
 pretenses* 7 et so impossible to be denied ; so exquisitely good, 
 and so deplorably bad, at the same time, that it has proved a 
 Robji Hood's shot ; anything ulterior to that is despaired of, and 
 the party breaks up, unanimously voting it to be the very worst 
 (coat is, best) pun of the evening. This species of wit is the bet- 
 ter for not being perfect in all its parts. What it gains in com- 
 pleteness, it loses in naturalness. The more exactly it satisfies 
 the critical, the less hold it has upon some other faculties. The 
 puns which are most entertaining are those which will least bear 
 an analysis. Of this kind is the following, recorded, with a sort 
 of stigma, in one of Swift's Miscellanies : 
 
 ' An Oxford scholar, meeting a porter who was carrying a hare 
 through the streets, accosts him with this extraordinary question : 
 * Prithee, friend, is that your own hare, or a wigT 
 
 ' There is no excusing this, and no resisting it. A man might 
 blur ten sides of paper in attempting a defence of it against a 
 critic who should be laughter-proof. The quibble in itself is not 
 considerable. It is only a new turn given by a little false pronun- 
 ciation, to a very common, though not very courteous inquiry. 
 Put by one gentleman to another at a dinner-party, it would have 
 been vapid ; to the mistress of the house, it would have shown 
 much less wit than rudeness. We must take in the totality of 
 time, place, and person ; the pert look of the inquiring scholar, 
 the desponding looks of the puzzled porter ; the one stopping at 
 leisure, the other hurrying on with his burden ; the innocent 
 ough rather abrupt tendency of the first member of the question, 
 ith the utter and inextricable irrelevancy of the second j the
 
 36 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 place a public street, not favorable to frivolous investigations ; 
 the affrontive quality of the primitive inquiry (the common ques- 
 tion) invidiously transferred to the derivative (the new turn given 
 to it) in the implied satire ; namely, that few of that tribe are ex- 
 pected to eat of the good things which they carry, they being in 
 most countries considered rather as the temporary trustees than 
 owners of such dainties, which the fellow was beginning to under- 
 stand ; but then the ivig again comes in, qnd he can make nothing 
 of it ; all put together constitute a picture. Hogarth could have 
 made it intelligible on canvass.' 
 
 There are some men who speak in puns. Philadelphians, 
 since the time of KNICKERBOCKER, have had the merit of being the 
 most atrocious punsters in the union. But w>h the exception of 
 a happy journalist or two, and a few jurists, thty have the name 
 only ; which, however, has attained such an alfj. u de, that they 
 sleep on their laurels. Perhaps it is well ; yet cf a ll miscar- 
 riages, an abortive pun is the worst. How many witi n g s have I 
 seen bring forth one of those pseudo bon-mots, and Baptize it 
 \vith a grin, when it was the very quintessence of inanity ! Truly, 
 they have their reward ; for they are often asked by tht5 r ac- 
 quaintances, when they have finished, whether the time has c m e 
 to laugh! 
 
 1 like a play upon words in other ways. Ben. Jonson made 
 a right good hit, when he wagered that he could incorporate the 
 choral words dl, do, dum, into a melancholy couplet. Being 
 challenged to do so, he adventured as thus : 
 
 When Dido found that /Eneas would not come, 
 She wept in silence, and was Dido dumb.' 
 
 Chesterfield made it a rule, that in social chat, the visiter's 
 good sayings should be reserved for the last, and that when he 
 had uttered them, he should instantly take himself away. Be- 
 lieving that I can not add a better thing than this versicle of 
 Ben's, (built, no doubt, at some happy moment when * his learned 
 sock was on',) I follow the counsel.
 
 . . 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 37 
 
 NUMBER THREE. 
 
 June, 1635. 
 
 ANOTHER month has gone by, and bless us, reader, here am 
 I again, at the same casement of which I whilome made mention, 
 brewing you another chapter of various topics, ' writen as they 
 shoulde comen into my mynde.' ' The moneth June !' A right 
 peasant month it is leafy, sunny, and sweet. The view from 
 n window has vastly improved since my last. The ' fashion- 
 s' e square' is almost hidden by a cloud of splendid verdure ; 
 and as I look upon the undulating and breeze-tossed mass, I 
 think there are few things so fine as a huge wall of ' innumerous 
 boughs,' clothed in the garniture of summer, and quivering in. 
 the beauty of morn so sparkling, fresh, and rich to see ! 
 
 The air that sweeps from squares and groves, is worth a for- 
 tune. Let me breathe it in health, and I am happy. All truly 
 excellent things are those which all can enjoy : the blessed sun, 
 the air, the sight of sky and cloud, of hills and waters, these are 
 for all. Munificent CREATOR ! What do not thy creatures owe 
 thee ! I respire now in an atmosphere that would befit Hes- 
 peria. The breeze is balm : 
 
 ' It hath come over gardens, and the flowers 
 That kissed it are betrayed.' 
 
 So long as I can relish these blessings, with such exhilarating en- 
 joyment, I would love to live, and live to love ; I could cheer- 
 fully pass the octogenarian in my decline. 
 
 The midsummer weighs me down. It takes away my nerves, 
 and resolves me into a woman. I grow weak and sentimental, 
 and a kind of rascally melancholy comes upon my spirit. Such, 
 at least, has been the case ; but I think I am yearly changing in 
 that regard. When June comes, also, I am not so buoyant as 
 aforetime. I can not tell the reason, unless it be that Hope loses 
 lustre from her wings in every solstice ; while Reality points with 
 his iron finger at the index of time, and tells me I am becoming 
 unmindful of beauty and untinctured with song. Now and then 
 I think this is true, especially of the brighter seasons : 
 
 Alas, my heart's darkness! I own it is summer, 
 Yet, 'tis not the summer I once used to see ; 
 Then I had welcomes for every new comer 
 Now strangely the summer seems altered to me.' 
 
 So of other matters. I used to rejoice in watching the splendid 
 coaches which flashed by my window, with their luxurious
 
 .ArAjao*Aja* 
 
 38 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 springs, and servants in livery, swinging with golden bands from 
 their stands behind ; and I took much delight in surveying the 
 fair freight within ; now they roll by unnoticed. I am in a spirit 
 land, mainly; a land of dreams and reveries the realm and do- 
 minion of ' Drowsy head.' 
 
 TALKING of drowsiness, makes me think of a feeling which 
 comes over the mind of a man, after reading a published article 
 from his pen, full of errors. He sees fine periods and pet sen- 
 tences inhumanly butchered ; he turns with discontent from the 
 journal to which they were sent ; ' look on't again he dares not ;' 
 he perspires with rage ; and, fretting himself drowsy, feels ready 
 to say with Otway, * Oh for a long, long sleep, and so forget it !' 
 Genius of Faust ! what abominations are committed in thy name ! 
 Hereby hangs a tale. 
 
 The other day, a little man called to see me, as the author of 
 * Ollapodiana.' He was of lowly stature, bent in the back, knock- 
 kneed, and had hair on his head of a most grievous sorrel hue. 
 His ungainly too-long coat was of blackish fustian, his jerkin of 
 snuffy buff, and his pantaloons of blue cotton, ' i' the autumn of 
 their life.' He had found me out, he said, by my style, and had 
 brought a sketch which he desired I would smuggle into the 
 KNICKERBOCKER, as he feared its acceptance otherwise. So I 
 stand godfather for his bantling. It has, I should think, been 
 hastily created, and its insertion here will crowd out several 
 members and subsections of my own, but I fancy it will do. I 
 can sympathize with Smith ; yet he is used to reverses, being one 
 of the^identical persons who failed in receiving the prize offered 
 by the ' Olympiad and Sunburst,' as mentioned recently in this 
 Magazine. One thing plagued me. He was determined to read 
 the whole thing aloud, so that I could ascertain exactly every 
 word, and thus prevent mistakes when I surveyed the proof- 
 sheets. I sat like a martyr, while he rose, and with a prelimin- 
 ary flourish, 
 
 Drew from the deep Charybdis of his coat 
 What seemed a handkerchief, and forthwith blew 
 His vocal nose.* 
 
 and then began : 
 
 'THE VICTIM OF A PROOF-READER.* 
 
 1 ' Foul murder hath been done lo ! here's the proof T Old Play.' 
 
 i OH ! for the good old times of Typography, when operatives 
 in the art could render the ancients; when Caxton translated *Y* 

 
 OLLAPODIANA. 39 
 
 Seyge of Troye' from the language of Greece ! Would that, 
 in this latter age, when Champollion has deciphered the hiero- 
 glyphics of Egypt; when the spirit of inquiry is every where 
 abroad ; some one might be found, who could continue to shel- 
 ter from typical aggression a writer for the press ! 
 
 ' I am the victim of a proof-reader. The blunders of others, 
 and not my own, have placed me in a state of feeling akin to 
 purgatory. Ever since I began to shave for a beard, I have been 
 more or less afflicted with the cacoethes scribcndi, and I flatter 
 myself that I have not always been unsuccessful in my iwitings. 
 But my printed efforts have neither been honorable to my genius, 
 nor grateful to my vanity ; ' on the contrary they have been quite 
 the reverse.' I have had the sweetest poems turned into thrice- 
 sodden stupidity ; sentences in prose, on which I doated in 
 manuscript, have been perused in a deep perspiration, and with 
 positive loathing, in print. All this has arisen from a conspiracy 
 which seems to have been formed against me, by all the typo- 
 graphical gentlemen of the country. It is true, I write what 
 Mrs. Malaprop might call an ' ineligible hand ;' for to the pitiful 
 minutiae of crossing t's, and dotting i's, I never could descend. 
 I have often given directions to publishers, that if a word was 
 otherwise ' past finding out,' they should count the marks ; but 
 the plan failed, as have indeed all my plans for correct habits of 
 thought before the public. If this narrative shall prove to be 
 correctly printed, it will be the first article from my pen that has 
 ever met with such an honor, and I shall be proportionably 
 pleased. 
 
 ' Like all other mortals, I am penetrable to the arrows of Cu- 
 pid. My heart is not encased with the epidermis of a rhinoceros, 
 nor the bull hide of Ajax ; consequently I am what they call in 
 romances a susceptible person. When I was nineteen I fell in 
 love, and as I found prose too tame a medium, too staid a 
 drapery for my thoughts, what could I do, but express to my 
 fair one my passion in song ? She was a beautiful creature, * a 
 delicious arrangement of flesh and blood ;' a country parson's 
 daughter, with excellent tastes and accomplishments. She was 
 fond of poetry, and so was I. This circumstance sent my fancy 
 a wool-gathering, for tropes, figures, and emblems. Young 
 ladies have a passionate admiration for genius, and I determined 
 to show that I was not deficient in that particular ; that I belonged 
 of right to those who merited the saying, * Poeta nascitur nonfa. 1 
 During the spring of 18 I was attacked with a perfect incon- 
 tinence of rhyme. My ladye-love was always my theme. But 
 of all my compositions, none satisfied me save the following,
 
 40 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 which I produced with great lima labor, and studious care. I 
 think poorly enough of it now : 
 
 TO EMILY B 
 
 'DEAR GIRL! an angel sure them art 
 
 The muse of every spell 
 Which brings one transport to my heart, 
 And bids my bosom swell. 
 
 And oh! carnation on thy cheek 
 
 Its richest lustre lends ; 
 And thy blue eyes forever speak 
 A welcome to thy friends. 
 
 Alas ! if fate should bid us part, 
 
 Life would be naught with me ; 
 A load would rest upon my heart, 
 
 Without a smile from thee. 
 
 'Where shall I meet a leaf so fair 
 
 In Nature's open page ? 
 With thee the beauteous flower compare, 
 And e'en my grief assuage? 
 
 ' Forgive, my love, this hasty lay, 
 
 And let its numbers be 
 Sweet monitors that day by day, 
 Shall bid thee think of me!' 
 
 ' This production I sent to the village newspaper. I waited 
 a long week, to see it appear. Finally, the important Wednes- 
 day arrived. I hastened to the office, but the affair was not pub- 
 lished. I glanced with a hurried eye over the damp sheet, and 
 found a notice at last, commencing with three stars turned up 
 and down. It read thus : 
 
 tribute to Emily, by ' J. S.' is unavoidably postponed until our. 
 next, by a press of advertisements, for which we are thankful since we do 
 that kind of business, as likewise all sorts of job-work, on the most reason- 
 able terms blanks, cards, hand-bills, and other legal documents, being exe- 
 cuted by us at the shortest notice. Not to digress, however, we would say 
 to ' J. S.' let him cultivate his talent; he has tremendous powers, but he 
 writes a bad hand. He should make his penmanship like his poetry 
 perfect.' 
 
 1 1 had the curiosity to look into the advertising columns to 
 see what envious things of traffic had displaced my lines. 
 There were but three advertisements, a sheriff's sale, a stray 
 >w, and a wife eloped from bed and board. I read the sheriff's 
 'otice with that deep interest which, these documents usually ex- 
 cite. It discoursed of lands, messuages, and tenements, desig- 
 nated ' by a line, beginning at the north west corner of Mr. Jen- 
 kins' cow-house, running thence north seventy-five chains, four-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 41 
 
 teen links, thence east twenty-nine chains eleven links, to a stake 
 and stones' and so on to the end of the chapter. 
 
 ' Yet the notice filled me with exceeding great delight. I sent 
 it to Emily : I told her that ' J. S.' was myself, but begged her 
 not to mention it to a third person. She kept her secret as 
 women usually do. In three days it was all over town, that I 
 had a piece, ' that I had made out of my head,' coming forth in 
 the next week's newspaper, addressed to Emily Brinkerhoff. 
 
 ' Never did seven days roll more slowly round than the week's 
 interval which followed the foregoing notice, in the publication 
 of the ' Elucidator of Freedom, and Tocsin of the People.' 
 When it did finally come out, I sent Emily an affectionate note, 
 with a copy of the paper, assuring her that the poem contained 
 my real sentiments. I determined not to read it myself until I 
 visited her in the evening. By great self-denial I kept my re- 
 solve, and when the young moon arose, bent my steps toward 
 the mansion of my mistress. 
 
 ' She received me coldly. I was surprised and abashed. 
 1 What is the matter, Em.,' I tenderly inquired : ' did you get 
 my billet-doux and the verses to-day ?' 
 
 ' ' Yes they came safe.' 
 
 ' ' Well, how did you like them ?' 
 
 * ' The note was kind and good, but the verses were foolish, 
 ridiculous nonsense.' 
 
 ' I was thunderstruck. I asked to see the paper. Emily arose 
 and handed it to me ; and sitting down by the vine-clad window, 
 she patted her little foot angrily on the floor. 
 
 ' I opened the Elucidator and Tocsin, and read my poem. 
 Solomon of Jerusalem ! what inhuman butchery what idiotcy ! 
 But I will give the effusion as it was printed, ' and shame the 
 devil: 1 
 
 'TO EMILY B 
 
 4 DEAR GIRL ! an angel sour thou art 
 
 The mule of every spell ; 
 That brays o'er trumpets to my heart, 
 And bids my bosom swell. 
 
 ' And oh ! darnation o'er thy cheek 
 
 Its rudest blister bends ; 
 And thy blear eyes forever speak 
 
 A welcome to thy friends. 
 
 ' Alas ! if fate should bind us fast, 
 Life would be rough with me ; 
 A toad would rush upon my heart, 
 Without a smile from thee. 
 
 r
 
 48 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 4 Where could I meet a lamp so fair 
 
 In Nature's open passage ? 
 With thee the barbarous flower compare, 
 And own iny grief a saussage ? 
 
 ' Forgive, my bore, this nasty lay, 
 
 And let its numbers be 
 Sweet monitors, that drily dry, 
 
 Shall bid thee think <>l : me!' J. S. 
 
 ' When I had read this diabolical mass of stuff over, I flew 
 into an uncontrollable rage. In the blindness of my chagrin, I 
 depreciated the judgment of Miss Emily ; I thought everybody 
 could see the errors, and detect them as readily as I did ; and I 
 said to my young friend that she must have been very stupid or 
 inattentive, not to see how the poem ought to read. This roused 
 in her bosom, * all the blood of all the Brinkerhoffs.' She handed 
 me my hat, and pointed significantly to the door. I went out at 
 the aperture thus indicated, and have never darkened it since. 
 Emily is now the wife of a Connecticut school-master, who 
 blows the pitch-pipe and leads the choir on Sunday, in her fa- 
 ther's church. 
 
 ' This was my first passion, and my last, except that into 
 which I have been roused every time I have sent a piece to be 
 published. Yet I still love to console my dreary bachelorship 
 by writing, and seeing my thoughts in print ; but I despair of 
 ever seeing them rightly uttered. Fate, in that regard, is against 
 me, and probably always will be. , JQHN g MITH , 
 
 AFTER a tragedy, the curtain falls to slow and mournful music. 
 Should the leader of an orchestra on such an occasion strike up 
 Yandee Doodle or Paddy Carey, the contrast would be absurd. 
 I feel in something such a predicament now. I have introduced 
 a tragical or at least a melodramatical narration, and I should be 
 unfeeling indeed to follow it up with other matters, which proba- 
 bly would be of a cheerful nature. I leave the story of my visi- 
 tor's sorrow and reverses, as a provocative to solemn reflection in 
 the reader, upon the abuses of printing, and the mutability of 
 types. 

 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 4 
 
 43 
 
 NUMBER FOUR. 
 
 August, 1835. 
 
 FROM one who loves to babble of green fields, and brooks of 
 running crystal, it is natural to expect a rhapsody about the 
 country. Listen then, reader, to me. 
 
 I affect the country, with a most engrossing and strong attach- 
 ment. It awakens my tenderest feelings and my sweetest asso- 
 ciations. Delicious reveries descend upon my spirit, as I walk 
 through the meadows and clover fields, when the earth is white 
 with Summer, and glowing with beauty. To see the wide land- 
 scape undulating around* you ; to hear the cling-clang of the 
 mower's whet-stone, as he sharpen's his scythe, while the heavy 
 swaths are lying around ; to see the loaded wain rolling onward 
 to the garner, with fragrant hay, or nodding wheat-sheaves, em- 
 bodiments of Plenty these sights are pleasant, reader : and you 
 who reside in cities, where unwritten odors of a most questiona- 
 ble salubrity assail your indignant nostril ; who breathe chim- 
 ney-smoke and dust, and suffer the secret backbitings of numer- 
 ous bugs, mostly of metropolitan origin you, I say, can have 
 no imagination of the delights of a country existence. Your hap- 
 less ears are bored at morn with the supernatural shriek of the 
 milk-man, or the amphibious voice of the unmusical clam-dealer, 
 oyster-man, or sweep ; and you lie upon your bed, tossing in 
 restless disquiet; you snore maledictions, and think daggers, 
 though you use none. 
 
 But out of town oh, it is perfect ! Your milk is fresh, your 
 strawberries fresh, rich, and succulent. The first commodity has 
 not been watered at the public pump, nor are the latter luxuries 
 bruised and unclean. I must drop this topic, for my mouth be- 
 ginneth to water ; a complaint, no remedy being nigh, that is un- 
 pleasant to the last degree. 
 
 I affect the country, because my first impressions of this 
 breathing world were formed amid its hallowed scenery. I was 
 cradled among the hills ; blue mountains melted in the distance 
 from my bed-room window ; broad fields, and woods, and rivers, 
 shone between ; the huge rains made melody on the roof of 
 Home for my unsophisticated ear, and I became steeped in the 
 passionate love of nature. It has never left me. I rejoice as I 
 call back those pleasant times, when in the casement of our sem- 
 inary, I rested my telescope on my shut-up Virgil, and looked 
 off among the far-off hills in the lap of which the edifice was
 
 44 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 navelled, and saw the pretty girls of the farm-houses, whitening 
 their long pieces of brown tow-cloth, fresh from the loom ; pick- 
 ing raspberries in the green hedges ; drawing cool water, in the 
 swinging oaken-bucket, to make switchel withal, for the swains, 
 as they came home for their forenoon lunch, or milking their 
 balm-breathing cows, ' in the golden evening-tide !' Those were 
 happy days ! and if I learned my Latin badly, and made blun- 
 ders in recitation, I got many a 'leaf from the book of nature 
 most deeply by heart. 
 
 There is something exceedingly grateful in the country, whei> 
 you can, as far as literature is concerned, enjoy the delectable 
 urbs in rure ; when you can get books, and specially newspapers : 
 for whatsoever may be said by man or woman, as touching Edi- 
 tors, they are famous ministers to our pleasure. We love to 
 peruse their sheets ; and even in times of political excitement, 
 when a stranger to the country might be induced to believe that 
 the greatest rascals in the republic were rival candidates for its 
 highest honors ; when, among journalists, each one seems rempli 
 de colere, and ready to pull every opponent by the individual 
 nose ; even then, we love to read their writings. We like to see 
 the cut, the keen retort, the hot rejoinder, and the sequent quip. 
 There is .excitement in them. 
 
 Commend me to a newspaper. Cowper had never seen one 
 of our big sheets, when he called such four-paged folios ' maps 
 of busy life.' They are more they are life itself. Its ever- 
 sounding and resistless voxpopuli thunders through their columns, 
 to cheer or to subdue, to elevate or to destroy. Let a scoundrel 
 do a dirty action, and get his name ancl deed into the papers, and 
 and then go into the street Broadway, for example and you 
 shall see his reception. Why does each passer-by curl his lip, 
 and regard him with scorn ? Why is he shunned, as if a noisome 
 pestilence breathed around him ? What makes every man ob- 
 serve him with a contemptuous leer ? Because, they have seen 
 the newspaper, and they know him. So, in a contrary degree, is 
 it with honorable and gifted men. The news-prints keep their 
 works and worth before the public eye ; and when themselves 
 appear, they are the observed of all observers. Hats are lifted 
 as they approach, and strangers to whom they are pointed out, 
 gaze after them with reverence. Success to newspapers ! They 
 are liable, it is true, to abuse as what blessing is not? but 
 they are noble benefits, nevertheless. What an endless variety 
 of subjects, too, do they contain ! Now we are entertained with 
 original dissertations on numerous important subjects ; then, to 
 use the quaint old catalogue of Burton, come tydings of wed-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 45 
 
 tilings, maskings, mummeries, entertainments, jubilees, wars, fires, 
 inundations, thefts, murders, massacres, meteors, comets, spec- 
 trums, prodigies, shippe-wracks, piracies, sea-fights, lawsuits, 
 pleas, laws, proclamations, embassys, trophies, triumphs, revels, 
 sportes, playes ; then again, as in a new-shifted scene, treasons, 
 cheating tricks, robberies, enormous villanies in all kindes, funerals, 
 burials, new discoveries, expositions ; now comicall, then tragi- 
 cal matters. To-day we hear of new offices created, to-morrow 
 of great men deposed, and then again of fresh honors conferred ; 
 one is let loose, another prisoned ; one purchaseth, another 
 breaketh ; he thrives, his neighbor turneth bankrupt ; now plenty, 
 then again dearth and famine ; one runs, another rides, wrangles, 
 laughs, weepes, and so forth. Thus we do daily hear suchlike, 
 both public and private news.' 
 
 I have an attachment to newspapers, because I deem them a 
 kind of moral batteaux de plaisance, or rail-cars, mayhap, wherein 
 you can embark before breakfast, or after dinner, and survey the 
 world, and the kingdoms thereof. It is a cheap 'and right whole- 
 some way of journeying ; and indeed, with the exception of a few 
 national jaunts, is about the only mode I have ever employed : for ' I 
 iravelle not save in mappe and carde, in which my unconfined 
 thoughts have freely expatiated, as having ever been especially 
 delighted with the study of cosmogony.' My bias for newspapers 
 is at least an honest one ; and I have been driven into it more 
 perhaps from the worthlessness of the mass of re-published 
 books, than from the intrinsic merit of my daily and and hebdom- 
 inal visiters ; for the name of these aforesaid books is legion ; 
 and most of them, if in sheets, would be fit only ' to put under 
 pies, to lap spice in, and keep roast meat from burning.' 
 
 Rural life seldom fails to accomplish one object ; it softens the 
 heart. It awakens the affections and leads to contemplation. 
 ' GOD made the country, and Man made the town.' In the for- 
 mer, there are no artificial wants, prejudices, or fashions all is 
 cordiality, comfort, and peace. We look abroad upon the solemn 
 hills, the shining streams, and waving woodlands, and we feel 
 that God is there ! His hand placed the rock-ribbed mountain 
 on its throne, and rolled around it its crown of misty glory. His 
 breath fills the blue vault that swells above, until immensity, as 
 it were, is visible ; and His smile is shadowed only in the sun- 
 beams which traverse those abysses of mystery. How majestic 
 is the coming of a summer storm ! We sit at the window of 
 some rural mansion, to which we have fled from the thick air and 
 heat of the metropolis ; we see the far-off clouds arise like giant 
 forms against the horizon, with spears of fire, and robes of pur-
 
 4G OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 pie and gold ; then, as by some sudden alchemy, they melt into* 
 a mass of solid gloom, from whose bosom the lightning darts its 
 vivid chain, while its source 
 
 ' Hangs o'er the solemn landscape, silent, dark, 
 Frowning and terrible.' 
 
 I have said that the country melts and subdues the heart. It 
 is true. I have seen a Being, in the flush and glow of girlhood, 
 who seemed to live and move in an atmosphere of lofty and pas- 
 sionate excitement. I have seen thousands hang upon her ac- 
 cents, as she moved before them, like the Tragic muse, her eye 
 dilated and her features radiant with the light of genius. I have 
 seen the bosoms of the young and beautiful swelling at her glance, 
 and the tears of hundreds flowing at her bidding. Was there en- 
 joyment then, in the mind of her who thus moved the hearts of 
 others by the momentary tempest that awoke in her own, and 
 tossed them on the * lava waves and gusts of her own soul ? 
 Alas, no ! It was the mingling of labor and art ; the fitful fever 
 of the brain, feut I have seen that One presiding at the board 
 of Home, with the serenity of unutterable affection on her brow, 
 and the radiance of happy thoughts in her eyes. The peace of 
 the countiy had breathed upon her heart ; ancl the impulses that 
 its scenes engender, had tranquilized her being. Could this be 
 the same ? Secluded, yet most content, she had forgotten the 
 hollow pageantries through which she had passed ; the noisy 
 crowd ; the unbroken applause ; and then, the prejudices of 
 altered or dishonest critics, and the gossip of the multitude. She 
 had other objects to ' utterly fulfil' her spirit. A cherub, on 
 whose baby brow and soft Siddonian lip, she could rain the warm 
 baptism of maternal kisses ; the companionship of loving friends 
 and Elevated thoughts ; communion with Nature these were 
 her treasures and her guerdon. Past pre-judgments, misguided 
 frankness, and the weakness of a clouded amor patrice, seemed 
 alike forgotten. 
 
 Tell me not that the country is lonesome. It is rich with 
 voices of comfort, and tones of delight. It is a vast and solemn 
 cathedral, with walls and roof of azure and gold, unpiliared and 
 illimitable ; its floors are tesselated with rainbow-colored flowers, 
 and silvei\streams, and living verdure. It is a haunt wherein to 
 muse, and dream, and lift the soul, until the heart overflows in 
 the religion of its worship. 
 
 TALKING of worship, makes me say, that nothing can inspire 
 in me a deeper feeling of devotion than sacred music. To hear
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 47 
 
 the plaintive overture of the choir, and the organ the stream of 
 melody which seems to roll from the galleries, and to dissolve 
 as it flows, into a kind of atmosphere above the aisles is sooth- 
 ing and subduing. It banishes every low-thoughted care, and 
 gives us ' such glimpses of Heaven as saints have in dreams.' 
 One fancies that he hears the murmur of spirit-hymns, or else 
 the rustling of celestial wings, and says within himself: 
 
 ' Let but a little part, 
 A wandering breath of that high melody 
 
 Descend into my heart, 
 And change it, till it be 
 Transformed, and swallowed up, oh love! in thee !' 
 
 But while I profess my affection for sacred melodies, I can 
 truly say that the secular and sentimental music of the day is 
 ' my very great detestation,' as Laureate Southey said of albums. 
 The words are generally namby-pamby, to the last extent ; and 
 are sung with such demi-grunts, and shrugs, and affected cadences, 
 that I had as lief hear the town-crier, or that other stentorian 
 personage who vociferates O ycz ! O yez ! at a city court. Then, 
 what contortions of phiz do singers undergo ! and how <3o they 
 torture the lungs of those they teach, as well as the ears of those 
 who listen ! ' Sir,' said an intelligent French Count once to me, 
 as we were listening to a pupil of an Italian songster, ' This mode 
 would destroy the best chanteuse in the world ; it would break 
 the ribs of a diligence horse bah !' I thought so too. Vo- 
 calists, now-a-days, are obliged to stretch their jaws almost to 
 dislocation, and they roar you like lions. You would think, to 
 see them sing, that they were of that class mentioned in sacred 
 writ, who ' open their mouths wide for the latter rain.' They 
 seem to delight in gutturals and grimace, flourishes and falsettos. 
 One of these men, whose vocal orifice extended horizontally 
 almost across his face, applied not long ago to a waggish physi- 
 cian in Philadelphia, to ask his advice as touching the probable 
 success of an operation to which he desired to submit himself. 
 
 * I have sung for several years in public,' said the minstrel, ' and 
 I find that the changes of fashion require louder tones than I am 
 able to utter, while my mouth retains its present dimensions. I 
 am obliged to whiffle out many of my long and large notes, as a 
 grimalkin cries in a quinsy, cracked and broken. I want volume, 
 and I have called to know whether you can aid me in effecting 
 an alteration which will give my lips a fuller and freer play, and 
 my voice more freedom.' 
 
 * Perhaps so,' responded the physician j ' but what do you re- 
 quire ? What do you propose T
 
 48 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 * I wish, I say,' returned the singer, (who, let it be remem- 
 bered, had an enormous bouche of his own,) ' that my mouth 
 should be enlarged. It is too limited for my purpose.' 
 
 ' Oho !' said the doctor, ' I understand you. We'll see what 
 can be done.' 
 
 He arose, and placing his hand on the head of the patient, 
 turned it to and fro, like a barber's garcon, while an expression 
 of solemn drollery struggled in his features. 
 
 * I can do so, Sir,' he continued, after a short pause, ' and 
 easily ; but there is a preliminary operation, which may distress 
 and perhaps disfigure you. It is a long job, and you may not 
 consent to it.' 
 
 ' To any thing, my dear doctor, that will effect my object. 
 Pray tell me what is requisite to be done ?' 
 
 ' Why, my friend, you wish your mouth widened : it is now 
 uncommonly expansive ; and in order to extend its limits any 
 farther, it will first be necessary to remove your cars, they being 
 obstacles at each corner !' 
 
 It may be conjectured that the operation was declined, and 
 that the vocalist quitted his adviser in the sulks. Such was 
 the fact. 
 
 By the way, the physician of whom I have thus spoken, is a 
 kind of modern Abernethy : full of benevolence, skill, and 
 merrimake. He knows how to distinguish to a nicety between 
 positive illness and imaginary ailments, those children of hypo- 
 chondria and spleen. He was once, and that not ' sixty years 
 since,' visited by a bloated and ricketty bon vivant, who had epi- 
 curized himself almost to Death's door, where, like the Irish- 
 man's horse in the play, he seemed ready to go in without 
 knocking. His proboscis was a model of convivial rubicundity ; 
 but the corners of his mouth were drawn downward with a look of 
 settled misanthropy. In short, he had eaten too much, for too 
 long a time ; the genial juices of his system had become tart 
 and acid ; while his mind, never the most cordial or elevated, 
 had become cloudy, sluggish, and indiscriminative of good. 
 
 The epicure approached the Esculapian disciple, with a visage 
 as sour as if he had just effected the deglutition of all the ipeca- 
 cuanha in Christendom. He slid with his gouty limbs into a 
 chair, and vociferated : 
 
 ' Well, doctor, here I am, and I am just going to die. Not 
 that I feel so very bad in my system, but just look at my nose ! 
 What mean those devilish carbuncles, those branching red veins ! 
 It can't be eating it can't be drinking. I have given up all but 
 one slice of beef, one of mutton, and one of pork, at dinner ; I
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 49 
 
 eat fewer potatoes at a sitting than I used to do ; and where I was 
 wont to take three glasses of brandy, or wine, whether it be Ma- 
 deira, Port, Sherry, or Heidsiek, I now take but two. I eat 
 fewer suppers, or at least not quite so many late ones, and those 
 not so heartily as I once did ; yet I sleep badly ; have strange 
 dreams, and wear this salamander-looking nose. What the deuce 
 am I to do ? It makes me very unhappy. It torments me con- 
 tinually,'by the itching which it produces. I want your candid 
 opinion on this matter, doctor and I want it soon or I shall be 
 a dead man.' 
 
 ' Well, my friend,' replied the Healer : ' I have but one thing 
 to recommend, and if you refuse it, all is lost. I have often told 
 you that you would kill yourself with gormandizing : you have 
 visited me time and again with your ailing*, and all my advice, 
 which would have tended to remove them, have been studiously 
 rejected. I can do no more, except to mention the remedy with 
 respect to your distressed member, which I am now about to of- 
 fer. You say it annoys you : and with that knowledge, as well 
 as a sight of its redness in my eye, I repeat, there is but one 
 course for you to pursue, which can yield you relief. If after 
 hearing the plan, you shall decline it, let the peril be your own. 
 I wash my hands of the whole business.' 
 
 * Pray tell me, doctor ; I will follow your counsel implicitly. 
 I vow, I fear if I do no*, that these incipient eruptions will com- 
 bine in a cancer. Do ease me at once, and tell me what I shall 
 do, if my nose continues thus to itch me.' 
 
 ' Listen, then, for your comfort depends on what I say. If it 
 does itch, as you declare, and as I doubt not if it plagues you 
 thus, you can only I say it solemnly, as I said before you 
 an only throw yourself upon one method one dernier resort, 
 which is, TO SCRATCH IT ! Do this, and relief will follow ; 
 and remember with gratitude that it was I advised you ! Good 
 morning.' 
 
 This was as good an answer, under the circumstances, as 
 could have been made. How many nervous ladies and hypped 
 gentlemen, are the bane of the physician wearying his soul out 
 with their fancied ills ! It were well if we had more Abernethys 
 in our catalogue of doctors. How this excellent and praise- 
 worthy fraternity contrive to enjoy life so well, and to look so 
 round and happy as the most of them do, is to me a puzzle. 
 
 SPEAKING of puzzles, reminds me, Reader, of one now lying 
 perdue in my breeches pocket, which I am about to transcribe 
 for your edification. Rack your brain over it, for it is a vcrita- 
 
 4
 
 60 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 i 
 
 ble enigma, and susceptible of solution. Ten to one, you don't 
 guess it ! A wide round has that enigma gone, among the Phil- 
 adelphia lawyers that proverbially puzzle-solving tribe yet it 
 remains unravelled. As the newspapers say, when a sheep has 
 been stolen, and the thief escaped, ' The whole matter is veiled 
 in impenetrable mystery.' It was engendered by a savant who 
 wore a red wig, and took a great deal of snuff. What is it ? 
 There's the question ? 
 
 A NEW PUZZLE. 4 
 
 IT is as high as all the stars, 
 
 No well was ever sunk so low ; 
 It is in age, five thousand years, 
 
 But was not born an hour ago. 
 
 It is as wet as water is, 
 
 No red-hot iron e'er was drier; 
 As dark as night, as cold as ice, 
 
 Shines like the sun, and burns like fire, 
 
 No soul, nor body to consume 
 
 No fox more cunning, dunce more dull ; 
 
 'Tis not on earth, 'tis in this room, 
 Hard as a stone and soft as wool. 
 
 'Tis of no color, but of snow, 
 
 Outside and inside black as ink; 
 All red, all yellow, green and blue 
 
 This moment you upon it think. 
 
 In every noise, this strikes your ear, 
 
 'Twill soon expire, 'twill ne'er decay ; 
 Does always in the light appear, 
 
 And yet was never seen by day. 
 
 Than the whole earth it larger is, 
 
 Than a small pin's point 't is less ; 
 I'll tell you ten times what it is, 
 
 Yet after all, you shall not guess ! 
 
 'Tis in your mouth, 't was never nigh 
 
 Where'er you look, you see it still ; 
 'Twill make you laugh, 'twill make you cry ; 
 
 You feel it plain, touch what you will. 
 
 I have no great respect for charades, rebuses, and riddles, but 
 the foregoing puzzle is so ' very mysterious,' as Paul Pry would 
 say, that it will well repay an hour's study. Who gives it up ? 
 I consider it worth finding out. It will be found different from 
 one half those forlorn enigmas which pay so poorly for a discov- 
 ery. Such things remind me of the missionary who was ascend- 
 ing the Mississippi with some religious tracts, and stepped on
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 51 
 
 shore from a flat-boat, to accost an old lady who was knitting be- 
 fore a low shanty, under a tree near the river. It was in the 
 Asiatic cholera time, and the epidemic was then in New Orleans. 
 
 ' My good woman,' said the evangelist, as he offered her a 
 tract, ' have you got the gospel here ?' 
 
 ' No, Sir, we han't,' replied the old crone, ' but they've got it 
 awfully down to New O'leens !' 
 
 The question was a puzzle. 
 
 It is better, I take it, to laugh than to cry ; and, Reader, I 
 hope thou relishest a joke. If thou dost not, I am sorry for- 
 thee. If thy ears are deaf to jcux d'esprit, and thine eye look- 
 eth around upon the world with a dullness which humor cannot 
 brighten, then I say, Go to, thou art not of my kidney. ' As a 
 Dutch host, if you come to an inn in Germanic, and dislike your 
 fare, diet, lodging, etc., replies, in a surly tone, ' If you like not 
 this, get you to another inn,' so I resolve, if you like not my 
 writing, go read something else. I do not much esteem thy cen- 
 sure ; take thy course ; 't is not as thou wilt, nor as I will ; 
 for every man's witty labor takes not, except the matter, subject, 
 occasion, and some commending favorite, happen to it.' 
 
 APROPOS of crying : I know a clever and venerable septua- 
 genarian, who, when he should laugh, always weeps. Tell him a 
 good story, or a bit of pleasant news, and he will sob as if his 
 heart would break. I met him not long since in the country, in 
 a mixed company ; the brilliant fragments of a marriage party. 
 The bridegroom was of his household ; and when the good old gen- 
 tleman found that his young relative had committed matrimony 
 with a lovely specimen of girlhood, and under the most favorable 
 auspices, he burst forth into an irrepressible flood of sorrow and 
 joy together. His chair shook under him with the intensity of 
 his emotions, as if it partook of them ; while his aged optics 
 ' purging thick amber and plum-tree gum' exhibited his amia- 
 ble weakness in a fruitful river of brine. It was a hearty spec- 
 tacle, to see such sympathy and genial feeling in the bosom of 
 Age. I love to see these ancient reservoirs of sentiment occa- 
 sionally stirred up with the pole of passing events. 
 
 ' Did you have a pleasant party, on the evening of the bridal ?' 
 quoth the old gentleman to one of the nuptial train. 
 
 'O, delightful!' was the answer 'perfectly delightful!' 
 
 'Good gracious!' responded the querist 'you don't say 
 so !' And then he collapsed again into a paroxysm of doleful 
 enjoyment, that was most edifying to observe. 
 
 Well, I love to see these things ; I love to see the fountains
 
 52 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 of affection welling up from the slow-throbbing heart of Eld. 
 When I become old ; when the vital current plays tardily and 
 sadly through the shrunken conduits of my frame ; when at 
 times, I ' 'gin to be a-weary of the sun ;' when the sober au- 
 tumnal shadows are stealing along my pathway, and voices from 
 the Past tell me how many are lost that I have loved then let 
 me cherish those that remain ; let me be interested in their en- 
 joyments, and let the light which beams from their open brows 
 and loving eyes, sink warmly on my heart ! 
 
 By the way, I like those representations of age, which we see 
 sometimes in the Scottish pictures of Wilkie, and in paintings of 
 the Flemish school where the elderly gentleman, as in John 
 Anderson my Jo, is represented as the very personification of 
 good feeling. I love to see your ' old 'un' enjoy his joke. 
 How well do I remember observing my father sit down and shake 
 his capacious sides over KNICKERBOCKER'S History ! Yet he 
 was a sage, grave man ; had shouldered his musket, and carried 
 his knapsack ihrough many a long campaign, in the Revolution, 
 and commanded his troops in the last war with honor. His heart 
 was not saddened, however, by the remembrance of the trials that 
 he had endured for his country ; and well was he able, in the even- 
 ing of his decline, ' to show how fields were won' for he had 
 won them. 
 
 MILITARY matters have materially altered of late years. 
 There is a vast deal of superfluous courage extant. In a time 
 of profound peace, the good citizens of many of our states are 
 bored with fines and mulcts, that ought to be discarded alto- 
 gether. Then, what a sight do some of our militia companies 
 present ? They remind me of the story of the French Prince, 
 who visited England, and on his arrival at Cambridge, was 
 greeted by a volunteer company of neighboring clowns, com- 
 manded by a supreme hind, who exceeded all his train-band for 
 clumsiness and bad culture. After undergoing a sort of review 
 before the noble stranger, the captain approached him, and beg- 
 ged to know the opinion he entertained of the company that 
 fronted him. 
 
 ' Sare,' said the Prince, ' I 'ave seen great many companie ; 
 great many battallion ; I 'ave seen de grand corps de Napoleon ; 
 de guard National ; I 'ave seen de allied armee ; I 'ave seen de 
 Swiss and de Jarman, de Russ and de Pruss, but ma foi, cap- 
 tain, I 'ave ncvarc seen such an extraordinare companie as yours ; 
 nevare nevare /' 
 
 The compliment was considered equivocal.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 53 
 
 Country trainings are nearly on a par with country serenades. 
 If their dispraise can be expressed in a more appropriate simile, 
 I should be glad to find it out. A friend of mine, in one of the 
 interior towns of the Key-stone State, recently undertook to 
 serenade a young lady toward whom he had a kind of sentimen- 
 tal propensity. I dare say he promised good music, being far 
 more notorious for promises than performance; but when the 
 evening came, the expectant damsel was greeted with such a 
 concord of sounds, as had not been heard since the days of Ba- 
 bel. Tin horns, fiddles, made of cornstalks, cow-bells, triangles, 
 a fife, a bass drum base it was ! and that guttural instrument, 
 the bassoon ; these, played upon by a band of boorish tatterde- 
 mallians, made up the music and the band. The wakeful Venus 
 endured it as long as her weak nerves would allow ; when she 
 arose, ' in bed gown clad,' and popping her night-cap'd head from 
 the window, poured forth such a polyglott remonstrance in 
 Dutch, English, and patois that the serenaders were obliged 
 to decamp with a most precipitate scattering. Would that our 
 ungainly and useless militia might obey the public remon- 
 strance follow the example, and do likewise ! 
 
 NUMBER FIVE. 
 
 September, 1635. 
 
 MY good friend of a Reader, let us have another chat to- 
 gether. I must spin my yarn now and then, or I should grow 
 melancholy, and you would burst in ignorance. I love this hap- 
 hazard way of writing ; I can be as discursive as a disporting 
 colt, when high-strung health incites him to dancing pleasaunce, 
 and his frame is replete with pasture. My charter is as large as 
 the wind ; and I allow myself to ' flare up' on almost any topic. 
 It is the best way. I have no ambitious veins of thought under 
 my skull ; I expect not preferment ; I am a lover of quiet, and 
 despise notoriety. I leave that boon to be clutched at by a thou- 
 sand little celebrities of the day. I wish to be familiar, but not 
 too bold ; and easy, but not too tame, neither. Of renown, I 
 experienced enough last week to satisfy me for a decade. My 
 strongest aspirations were gratified by the appearance of my 
 name in the Post-office list of letters a marked distinction, 
 which seems like fame and for which two extra cents were paid 
 without a murmur. Now that my name is up in this way, I can 
 afford to seize my quill, and let it play, in holyday spirit, among
 
 54 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Scenes and Sentences. Like good old Democritus, junior, I 
 can say to him who reads me, that "Tis not my study or intent 
 to compose neatly, which an orator requires, but to express my- 
 self readily and plainly, as it happens ; so that, as a river runs, 
 sometimes precipitate and swift, then dull and slow ; now direct, 
 then per ambages ; now deep, then shallow ; now broad, then 
 narrow, doth my style flowe ; now serious, then light ; now 
 comickal, then satyrickal ; now more elaborate, then remiss, as 
 the subject requires, or I stand affected. And if thou vouchsafe 
 to read this treatise, it shall seem no otherwise to thee than the 
 way to an ordinary traveler sometimes foul, sometimes fair ; 
 here champion, there enclosed ; barren in one place, better soil 
 in another ; by woods, groves, hills, dales, plains, and so forth, 
 will I lead thee through variety of objects, some of which thou 
 shall surely like.' This, I take it, is the way to be agreeable. 
 Your fellow who sits down to his page with a brimstone spirit, or 
 with turgid thoughts, generally plays the part, either of a misan- 
 thrope or a jackass ; two characters that, next to a bum-bailiff 
 after a militia fine, I hold in the supremest contempt. One of the 
 first-mentioned genus I know, who is eternally complaining of the 
 world. With the soul of indomitable discontent ever rankling 
 within him, he looks on every scene with an eye which pleasure 
 can not brighten ; he takes every child of Adam for a rascal, and 
 for all he meets has a black look and a cross word. Yet no one, 
 probably, has had more cause of gratitude, than himself, for 
 favors and benefactions received at the hands of his fellows. Yet 
 he goes on, Ishmael-like, injuring and injured ; having the fool- 
 ishness to think that he can derive pleasure without giving it, and 
 repay good with evil: 
 
 ' He is a sackcloth bard, GOD help his grief! 
 
 He blames the bowers with night-shade overrun ; 
 He weeps his eyes red o'er a faded leaf, 
 And wastes his pathos on the dying sun.' 
 
 He supposes that men are monsters, and women as treacherous 
 as mermaids. Thus believing and acting, he is ever in hot wa- 
 ter. To hear him talk, or to read his writings, you would fancy 
 that the man had just escaped from Bedlam. Litigation is his 
 element ; and the suffering lawyers whom he retains, are puzzled 
 to decide which is the most doubtful, the character of their 
 client, or their prospect of pay. You would laugh, reader, to 
 hear this fellow talk about the wasting calamities of life. Ro- 
 bust, whiskered, and sturdy in his look with the exception of 
 his saffron-colored visage, that index of bile he represents 
 himself as the elect of the grave ; on the extremes! verge of
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 55 
 
 which he would be thought to have been standing any time these 
 ten years. He once called, at a University, upon a friend of 
 
 mine, who was busy in his professorship. ' Ah t Mr. L ,' 
 
 said he, in a solemn, sepulchral tone, 'this is a dark day for me. 
 Misery is my lot ; despair dogs my footsteps ; friends cut me ; 
 the fates hunt me like blood-hounds ; and a cloud of obloquy 
 hangs about my name. I feel that my country is unworthy of 
 such a nurseling of the Nine as I. I think of going to Greece? 
 
 ' To Greece /' exclaimed the professor ; you had better go to 
 grass /' 
 
 I believe he took the learned gentleman's advice ; for he seems 
 to have been ever since on the journey. 
 
 Now this is a specimen of a class of men, that I sincerely 
 pity, and can not abide. They are canine occupants of the great 
 manger of life ; they eat not themselves, in peace, neither will 
 they let others. I aroynt them, one and all. I love your good, 
 hearty person, who does not despise his fellow men, nor deem 
 them all caitiffs ; who has a smile, a joke, and human sympathies. 
 There is nothing like these, unless it be susceptibility to beauty. 
 This is a source of superior pleasure. Who does not love to 
 look at a pretty woman ? 
 
 ' Who can curiously behold 
 
 The smoothness and the sheen of Beauty's cheek, 
 Nor feel the heart can never all grow old?' 
 
 I regard ladies in public masses, as I do a splendid gallery of 
 pictures. I say, reader just in your individual ear did you 
 never particularly relish a jaunt on board a steam-boat, when you 
 found beautiful women there ? Tell me honestly, did they not, 
 though strangers, materially enhance the delightsomeness of your 
 journey ? Have you not singled out some fairest One of them 
 all, and directed a volley of desperately-agreeable looks to her- 
 ward ; greatly delectated, peradventure, when they met return ? 
 You sit and feel the bland air playing over your temples ; the 
 broad river expands before you ; beautiful scenes flit by on either 
 side ; and then you drink in a delicious intoxication with your 
 eyes, which delights the more, because you know it is epheme- 
 ral. It is one of those pleasures that nobody writes about, and 
 every body feels. And do you not entertain a deep regret, when 
 the city, with its pompous spires and bay, appears in view ; when 
 you near the crowded wharf, and amid bustling trunk-hunters and 
 band-box exporters, you perceive your eye-acquaintance glide 
 away? Somebody stands near the wharf; it is her cousin 
 George, or Henry, and her sister. Don't you envy the young
 
 66 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 thing who inserts her sweet face and pouting lips under that veil, 
 and receives that ringing kiss ? To be sure you do and that 
 is just all the good it does you. The fair Inconnue is rolled off 
 in a coach, arid the next day you have forgotten her altogether. 
 This is one of those cheap and unmentioned felicities, of which 
 we have so many to sweeten existence ; that are as pleasant as 
 they are pure and fleeting to the participant, and which are 
 mortal fat to a spectator! 
 
 It is with the troubles of life, as with its pleasures ; there are 
 a great many that you can not allude to. Somebody may annoy 
 you in an unredressable way ; places that you wish to visit may be 
 ' improved' by others ; a man may change hats with you, seduce 
 your umbrella, or tread on your toe. But I can always endure 
 these things at an opera, or a play, when well attended. Beauty 
 hallows and sanctifies a thousand inconveniences. I have stood 
 in a kind of rapture, looking at feminine loveliness, when I was 
 hedged around in a back box by a clan of unctuous and perspir- 
 ing varlets ; but when I could discern Beauty, I cared not. I 
 could mark the Phidian lip, the Grecian nose, the uplifted, open 
 brow, the tasteful coiffure, and see the negligent eye-lashes rise 
 and fall, over orbs of surpassing lustre. What cared I, that 
 their light, as if ' shot from the deadly level of a gun,' came to 
 me past the old hats and oily coats of expectorating vagabonds ? 
 
 I do not know how it is, but such things do greatly augment 
 one's better sympathies. And it is often done by ocular decep- 
 tion. I have a friend who always construes a look from a lady, 
 at an opera or play, as a direct tribute to himself ; yet he is short- 
 sighted, and can not tell, in nine cases out of ten, whether he is 
 the observed or not. His amour propre, however, always takes 
 the brightest side. I know several blades who, from this cause, 
 are patronising tailors to an extravagant degree ; depredating upon 
 every one of those artisans who ' exults to trust, and blushes to 
 be paid.' One youth of this kind I know a dolt of the very 
 first water who said to an acquaintance, recently, in my pres- 
 ence : ' Do you know the Miss 's of Noo-Yawk ? What 
 
 devilish susceptible crechures they ar', to be su-ah ! I called on 
 them a few months ago, and sang to them ' Zurich's Waters,' 
 aud ' Me Sister De-ah,' and don't you think, they both fell in 
 love with me? Egad, they did so; but I couldn't relieve, and 
 so I cut them. I vow I won't be cruel to any body if I can 
 help it ; I won't, positively ; would you ?' 
 
 This was at an Ordinary. ' I say, straanger,' said a rough- 
 looking book-pedlar from Illinois, who sat near this scented brag- 
 gart, * you are not a man, are you ? a full-bound man ? You
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 57 
 
 don't sartingly answer to a masculine title, do you ? I should 
 take you for a pocket edition of a sheep. Them's my sentiments, 
 and you have 'em gratis. You havn't brains enough to fascinate 
 a kitten ; yet you do raally fancy you are something oncommon ! 
 You are too flat to keep your eyes open, fully ; and I'll bet a 
 wolf-trap, that the sight of a full-blown poppy would set you to 
 sleep, any time. Oh, pshaw ! Landlord, give this thing a weak 
 lemonade, scented with rose water, and tote me a pint of brandy ; 
 hot, with a red pepper in it, and a common segar. I'll go 
 bail for the bill.' 
 
 The irresistible young man walked off, with a mingled look of 
 inanity and anger. 
 
 IT is astonishing how many stupid people you meet in society ; 
 fellows with brains in their purses, who will talk you an infinite 
 deal of nothing, and thus beget a reputation of being remarkably 
 fluent and agreeable persons. A sample of this genus I lately 
 encountered in a fashionable drawing-room. I inquired after the 
 health of an acquaintance of mine, and friend of his, whom he 
 had met in Washington, during the winter, adding that I esteemed 
 him a fine fellow. 
 
 ' Fine fellow,' said Mr. Voluble Pipkins, ' fine fellow, d'ye 
 say ? By Jove, he's not only a fine fellow, Sir, but d'ye ob- 
 serve, he's a good fellow a glorious fellow a noble man, Sir; 
 an immense, a stupendous man. Egad, Sir, I consider him equal 
 to Moore's Melodies!' 
 
 I tried to review this laudatory emission of vox et preterea nihil, 
 and to ascertain what Moore's Melodies had to do in comparison 
 with a clever fellow, but a new outpouring of verbiage left me no 
 time for the effort. 
 
 Pipkins now began to describe his travels in the .South, in the 
 course of which he gave a fact an inference that I thought rather 
 unique. 
 
 ' How do you like the Southrons ?' I inquired. 
 
 ' Oh, bless you, ver' well ; ver' well ; the moral excellence 
 of the people is proverbial ; but the mutton is scarce and poor. 
 Howejer, I don't like mutton, myself!' 
 
 A GREAT many young men imagine that any thing can be said 
 to a woman in the way of nonsense, and relished to boot. I re- 
 member a country party, a few miles from the metropolis, where 
 a few young middies and dragoons were invited. The rosy- 
 cheeked girls were playing blind man's buff, when we arrived.
 
 68 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 A few maids, beyond a certain age, were planted round the sides 
 of the apartment. Toward one of these, a mischievous young 
 dragoon bent his way. He was, let me premise, in the incipiency 
 of jollification. 
 
 'Tranquil lady!' said he, with a grave look; 'you seem to 
 contemplate this scene of enjoyment with an indifferent eye. To 
 me it is a picture of delight. It warms my bosom extensively. 
 It gives to my mental optics those scenes in the West, where the 
 settlers used to recruit our corpuses with creatur' comforts. 
 It reminds me of the pleasant days of my youth, when I lay upon 
 the damp cold earth, and listened to the cannon's roaring sym- 
 phonies.' 
 
 ' I don't understand that 'are,' said the ancient damsel, in a 
 husky tone, and with a look uncommonly ' furtive.' 
 
 Reader, did you ever eat a supper at a country party ? It b 
 quite Vautre chose from one in the city. Your ice-cream, salads, 
 and champaigne, are not there ; but in their stead are substan- 
 tialities of the heaviest kind. It is a sort of late dinner, and 
 you have course after course in eternal abundance. In the pres- 
 ent case, 
 
 'Tis fit that I should tell you what 
 
 Those gentles had to eat ; 
 How ale went round, and how, GOD wot, 
 
 The tables groaned with meat. 
 Suffice to say, that trim sirloin 
 Of bullock, proud in death to join 
 
 With radish-of-the-horse ; 
 Flanked by a soup's embossed tureen, 
 And eke by cauliflower, of mein 
 Winsome and white as ere was seen, 
 
 Adorned the firstling course.' 
 
 This was followed by a various profusion of good things, the 
 number of which it would have puzzled Zerah Colburn to com- 
 pute. I never saw so complete a specimen of a legitimate rural 
 repast. It was broad morning before we came home ; none of 
 us at a loss to know why such a difference exists between the 
 delicate belles of cities, and their buxom rivals of the country. 
 
 SPEAKING of country girls you will see them at camp-meet- 
 ings, plenty as blackberries. Did you ever visit one of these 
 convocations ? There is a sublimity about them, notwithstanding 
 several ludicrous features, which must be felt to be appreciated. 
 I once attended one, in the interior of New York. It was Au- 
 tumn, and our partly left home on a tour of ten miles, just as the
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 59 
 
 evening sun was sending his slant radiance over the many-colored 
 glories of an October landscape. River, lake, and gorgeous 
 woodland, shone in the declining day-beams ; the tall poplar 
 gave to the gale its yellow leaf, and melancholy whisper ; the 
 moping owl, as the twilight deepened, complained to the moon. 
 I was quite young, and full to overflowing with animal spirits. 
 But when we reached the camp-ground, in the forest, I was 
 hushed into awe. It was enclosed by a hedge of green boughs, 
 nearly a mile in circumference ; tents encircled the area, against 
 the hedge, and the light of torches placed in sticks high among 
 the trees, beamed fitfully in the evening gusts, upon the varie- 
 gated and swaying boughs of the wilderness. Unperceived, I 
 clomb a sapling by the side of our tent, and surveyed the scene. 
 From a rude pulpit in the midst of the vast assemblage, a 
 sonorous preacher was delivering his message. He spoke with 
 much eloquence, and ended with prayer, and the naming of a 
 hymn. The multitude beneath him tossed tumultuously around, 
 a living ocean of humanity. Shrieks, groans, supplications, and 
 cries of 'glory!' rent the air. Sundry brethren were moving 
 briskly about, comforting mourners, and singing snatches of 
 sacred song. Never shall I forget one sweet voice, seemingly 
 endowed with supernatural melody, breathing out : 
 
 1 JESUS, lover of my soul, 
 
 Let me to thy bosom fly, 
 While the billows o'er me roll, 
 
 While the tempest still is high. 
 Hide me, oh! my SAVIOUR, hide, 
 
 Till the storms of life be past ; 
 Safely to the haven guide, 
 
 Oh receive my soul at last !' 
 
 Beyond the enclosure, I could perceive groups of ragamuffins, 
 with torches stuck in the ground, under the boughs of a dark 
 and gloomy pine, swearing, drinking, and playing cards with a 
 straggling party of friendly Indians. It was an Ollapodiana kind 
 of a scene. 
 
 When the hymn was finished, one of those dull souls arose, 
 of whom not a few may be found in all persuasions, who seem 
 ordained of heaven to make their audiences literal specimens of 
 self-denial, by listening to their ministrations. He drawled out 
 his vapid sentences in the worst and weakest taste. His text 
 was from the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus. In des- 
 cribing the beggar at the gate of Dives, (so beautifully depicted 
 by David Teniers, in his Mauvais Ricke,) he said it was not 
 wonderful that the mendicant should have chosen such a posi-
 
 60 OLLAPODIAXA. 
 
 tion : * for,' said he, logically, ' provisions in them days was 
 sumptuous and plenty. Even the beggars got a good living, and 
 Lazarus, no doubt of.it, liked his place. Individiwals of his 
 calling didn't then get from rich men's tables, as they do now, 
 little bits of bread, and 'tature r and pork, and pickle ; no, my 
 hearers, they got great plates of pic, and sich things. Hence 
 we view, that Lazarus was in dan-ger, when surrounded with 
 dogs, that might have stolen half his victuals !' 
 
 It came to pass, some months after this, that a friend of mine 
 heard this same divine preach a sermon at the funeral of a middle 
 aged lady, who was greatly beloved in the community where she 
 died. Her family was large, and highly respectable ; but having 
 moved a long time previous from a neighboring State, little was 
 known of their origin. The obsequies were attended by a large 
 and sympathising community. The preacher opened his dis- 
 course, by speaking of the good character of the deceased, and 
 the sad occasion which called the company together. ' But, my 
 friends,' said he, ' unknown to you, I have greater cause for 
 seriousness at this solemn time, than any one before me. Even 
 these surviving relations, who are most interested in what I am 
 going to communicate, have forgotten the time when, long ago, 
 and afar off, they once heard my voice. It is now about twenty 
 years since the father of the deceased, and of her brothers and 
 sisters now seated with other relatives present, suddenly expired 
 before my eyes. Yes, I had the melancholy satisfaction, among 
 thousands of others, of seeing him hung. I read the hymn 
 which was sung ere he swung; and I hope though he seemed 
 not to relish my informing him that he would soon go from ' works 
 to rewards,' nor to appreciate my kind advice generally that, 
 as most persons who die from the scaffold generally do, he went 
 to glory, right off.' 
 
 With this pleasing and complimentary reminiscence, the speak- 
 er took his text from that chapter in the book of Esther, wherein 
 is recorded the execution of Haman. From this he drew, neck 
 and heels, the far-fetched inference, that all earthly things were 
 uncertain, and that it was equally hard to tell how, as when, we 
 should die. After a prolix ' improvement,' he concluded to 
 the great edification, doubtless, of the audience in general, and 
 the mourners in particular. 
 
 To return to our camp-meeting. We left the ground as the 
 day was breaking. The noisy congregation ; the declining watch- 
 fires by the tents ; the solemn drapery of the tall cedars, just 
 catching the first smile of Light ; all formed a scene to be re- 
 membered. I think, now, how appropriately could have been
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 61 
 
 applied to it, as we stepped slowly from the ground, the lines of 
 Mrs. Hemans : 
 
 Yes, lightly, softly move ! 
 
 There is a Power, a Presence in the woods ; 
 A viewless Being, that with life aud love 
 Informs the reverential solitudes ; 
 The rich air knows it, and the mossy sod 
 Thou, Thou art here, my GOD ! 
 
 * And if with awe we tread 
 
 The minster floor, beneath the storied pane, 
 
 And 'midst the mouldering banners of the dead, 
 Will the green, voiceful wild seem less Thy fane ? 
 This fane, which Thou hast built ? where arch and roof 
 Are of Thy living woof?' 
 
 LET me say one word, Reader, of her from whom I have 
 just quoted. She was my friend, and we have often exchanged 
 thoughts and words with each other. Not soon shall we look 
 upon her like again. She was a pure spirit, essentially disem- 
 bodied, before she left the world. Made ' perfect through suffer- 
 ing,' she seemed permitted by Heaven to linger beyond her time 
 on earth, a glorious example of feminine loveliness beautified by 
 Pain. A volume only would do justice to her worth ; and for 
 her gifts, her works remain their eulogy. In all things, I revered 
 her ; and while musing to her memory, may I usurp a signature, 
 and trust myself in song ? 
 
 MRS. HEMANS. 
 
 WE weep not, when the yellow leaves are gathered, 
 WTiile Autumn's peace and plenteousness abound; 
 
 When from the tinted boughs, like raiabows withered, 
 The golden fruit drops richly to the ground ; 
 
 When solemn Nature round her sadness throws 
 
 A mellow glory and a warm repose. 
 
 We weep not then, amid the fruitage falling, 
 
 Whose affluent incense rises to the sky ; 
 Though then we hear soft spirit-voices calling, 
 
 That tell how loved and cherished things must die; 
 For to the fairest blooms a change must come, 
 That the ripe treasures may be garnered home. 
 
 'Twas thus with thee, Beloved ! their holy mission 
 
 Thy heart and soaring lays at last fulfilled ; 
 Then rolled the cloud beyond the spirit's vision, 
 
 Till all the music of thy lyre was stilled ; 
 And like a melting wave, or waning sun, 
 Passed from this vale of iW the Gifted One !
 
 62 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 "Pis well, divinest Soul, with thee ! for Heaven 
 
 Had filled thine inmost thoughts with sacred dreams ; 
 
 And to thy reverie and song was given 
 A world of radiant and immortal gleams ; 
 
 Yea, gorgeous pictures of a better land 
 
 Did ever to thy view their scene expand. 
 
 Now, all their fadeless pomp and glow perceiving, 
 
 Thou breathest freely, in celestial air ; 
 Thy tender heart hath ceased its weary grieving, 
 
 And the pure mind is bathed in rapture there ; 
 While, mid fair ways no earthly foot hath trod, 
 In white thou walkest, present with thy GOD ! 
 
 Thou hearest melody, whose flowing numbers 
 
 Once came but faintly to thy mortal ear, 
 When ills of time were lost in evening slumbers, 
 
 And magic Fancy brought her Eden near; 
 Thou hast thy yearning hopes' fruition now- 
 The wreath of Paradise surrounds thy brow ! 
 
 Thou hearest harps delicious, sweetly ringing, 
 And sister Spirits fan thee with their wings; 
 
 With them thou minglest, and with them art singing, 
 Where, named of Life, the crystal river springs; 
 
 Where, like some changing prism, expand the skies, 
 
 And purple hills from vernal vales arise. 
 
 Thou art in glory, oh rejoicing Spirit ! 
 
 Thou look'st on flowers that no pale frost may stain; 
 And from a changeless Friend thou dost inherit 
 
 A lyre triumphant, breathing not of pain ; 
 Thou hast thy Home at last, from sorrow free, 
 And all is blessedness and peace with thee ! 
 Philadelphia. w. a. c. 
 
 I have just seen an engraved bust of Mrs. Hemans, which I 
 can not doubt is a perfect resemblance of her features, with the 
 exception of the eyes. It was taken, as I suppose, in her early 
 and happy days. The soft wavy locks are parted sweetly on her 
 high forehead, and fall in beautiful tresses by either cheek ; the 
 expression of the face is cheerful beautiful ; and every linea- 
 ment betokens the presence of intellect. The temples are lofty 
 and full ; and the department of the brain strongly developed. 
 
 I PERCEIVE that I am beginning to speak like a phrenologist, 
 for which I beg my reader's pardon. I have small sympathy 
 and respect for those learned professors of craniology. I do not 
 believe that the human skull ever was intended as a sort of topo- 
 graphical chart of the soul and its affections. The general prin- 
 ciples of the science are plausible perhaps true ; but when you 
 come to subdivide a man's sconce into innumerable sections of
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 63 
 
 thought and feeling ; when you give to every impulse its place of 
 origin ; it is, as my friend Grant Thorburn said in Boston, 
 ' coming to rather close quarters.' The truth is, such a science, 
 pursued to its ultimatum, is the height of folly. I have no reve- 
 rence for names, thank heaven ! unless they are hallowed by rea- 
 son. I acknowledge that the brain is placed in a certain part of 
 the human head ; that if that part be small, or diminished, the 
 quantity of gumption, in the individual who owns the sconce, 
 will be * nothing to speak of;' and this is the extent of my phre- 
 nology. Half the modern professors of this science are as ar- 
 rant quacks as ever vended nostrum. They tell a story of an 
 acquaintance of mine a wag, who, by the way, has never denied 
 it to this effect. He was determined to quiz a ylirenologist. 
 Accordingly, he repaired to his shoe-maker, and caused him to 
 place upon his head an enormous organ of wax. The disciple 
 of Crispin performed his task well ; placed the organ rightly ac- 
 cording to the lithographed plate, and stuck upon it a goodly 
 covering of human hair. Thus accoutered, our hero visited the 
 phrenological professor. He submitted his head to the decisive 
 palms of his Bump-ship, and received his opinion. ' God bless 
 me, Sir!' said the learned judge, 'you have an admirable head, 
 in many respects ; but you possess one organ which speaks 
 volumes for your character.' 
 
 1 What is that, pray ?' 
 
 * This is it, Sir allow me to direct your hand to it, Sir 
 this is it. Do you feel it ? That, Sir, is the organ of adhesive- 
 ness and never before, I think, did I see it so strongly de- 
 veloped. Believe me, Sir, you are a wonderful exemplification 
 of our theory ; so much so, indeed, that I should almost be 
 tempted to pronounce you a lusus natures of science.' 
 
 ' No you don't !' said the patient, removing the waxen pro- 
 tuberance ; ' you are the curiosity ; you can't tell gum from 
 gumption!' 
 
 I MUST close. I fear I am getting prosy which I dislike, 
 of all things. It is pleasant to talk for a while, when our spirits 
 are animated, and we feel colloquial ; but it is folly to push con- 
 versation, when the soul which creates it begins to flag. It is 
 like the attempt at festivity among the last lingerers at a ball, in 
 the ' small hours' of the morning a deplorable scene ! 
 
 ' All, all is gloom ! and dandies in the dumps, 
 Dance in responsive dullness to their pumps, 
 Like some town hack, that, spavined, old, and blind, 
 Trots to the wheezing of his broken wind.'
 
 4 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 * * * 
 
 Ere long, reader, we will discourse together again ; in October, 
 probably in November, certainly. * There will be divine sar- 
 vice in this meeting-house,' said a colored man of GOD, at a 
 church of his order, ' in a fortnight, GOD willing in tree week, 
 whed er t>r no /' I reject such predictions; but I hope we shall 
 meet again, my 'reading public' 'till when, a Dieu! Voila le 
 commencement 
 
 NUMBER SIX. 
 
 October, 1835. 
 
 MAGNIFICENT and pompous Autumn ! It cometh before me 
 with ' dyed garments' of glory ; with trailing clouds of innumer- 
 ous tints, with leaves that fill the air with solemn whispers, and 
 paint the viewless gusts in hues of beauty. Splendid Autumn ! 
 Thy every feature is lovely to my soul. There is not a spray 
 which yields its tribute to the wind, that hath not a lesson in its 
 shiver, and a moral in its sound. When the ' sweet South' seeks 
 in vain for the summer flowers, over which it ranged like a char- 
 tered libertine, rifling their cups, and betraying their soft odors ; 
 when the clouds lie in long red bars across the West, and the 
 deep tones of woods and waters ring through the clear and 
 searchable atmosphere then is the Spirit of Autumn my monitor 
 and my companion. I walk over the sere meadow ; I see the 
 many-colored fruits piled up in rich profusion under the generous 
 orchard trees j I hear the pensive and farewell chanting of the 
 birds, as they poise their pinions for milder climes, and I deem 
 their melody a summons of gratitude a call for thanksgiving. 
 Then Memory is busy ; a sweet repose falls like golden light on 
 every vision of the past, and all its regrets are lost in that en- 
 chanting radiance. This is Autumn, to me. I think of the pure 
 skies, the broad lakes, and the swelling mountains, on which the 
 eyes of my childhood feasted, until I become again a resident 
 among them, scaling verdant peaks, and looking abroad on seas 
 of rainbow-foliage tossing to the breeze ; or mayhap, delec- 
 tating my palate with gathered chesnuts, and my ear with their 
 harmony, as they pattered on the leaves from the lofty burs : 
 touching perchance, in their fall, the whirring wing of the par- 
 tridge, as it wheeled through the woods. There is not a thought 
 of Autumn that is sad to me. I love it for itself alone : ' scene 
 of ripe fruits and mellow fruitfulness :' of calmness, beauty, and 
 abundance ; it has voices, and sights, and influences, that I
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 65 
 
 would not exchange for a dukedom. I am always obliged to 
 shake from my pen a few drops of superfluous enthusiasm, in 
 the Autumn time. 
 
 I WAS sitting yesterday, looking over my newspaper, and 
 thinking of other times to which direction this season always 
 bids me turn when I fell into a profound meditation on the 
 great progress and power of those pregnant folios. I remember 
 the time that when the weekly newsprint, brought to ' our village' 
 by the post-rider, came to hand, I would pore over its blue and 
 reeking columns with a degree of interest that nothing else could 
 match. Every word of its contents, advertisements and all, 
 would be devoured at a sitting. The dailies of New- York were 
 smaller than the country weeklies now, and issued, perhaps, in 
 smaller numbers. No crowds of boys beset the wharves, and all 
 public places, of the metropolis, as now, with such vociferations 
 as these : ' Here 's the Courier and Enquirer ! Here '* the Sun, 
 Jeff'sonian, Tra-a-nscript ! Here 's the Journal of Commerce ! 
 Yere 's the American and the Post ! Yere 's the Star with the 
 foreign news ! Yere 's the * Old Sarpent,' and the Spirits-o'- 
 Seventy-six, and the Advertiser ! Yere 's the Spirits-Times, 
 and the Morning Herald !' No trifling penny won a little world 
 of knowledge, then. How changed is now the scene ! He who 
 cannot read as he-runs, at this era, must indeed be a wayfaring 
 fool. I rejoice to see this glorious influence of the press per- 
 vading our country. While it continues, we can never be other- 
 wise than free. Guided, as it mainly is, by strength and vigor 
 of intellect inspired as it is, with the fervor of free bosoms 
 its course is onward, and its power irresistible. An unfettered 
 press is the glory of a nation. Here, it should be peculiarly 
 free ; else it cannot echo the voice of the people. What this 
 people yet will be, in morals, in political importance, and in 
 national power, depends greatly on the press. Its weight, in the 
 broad scale of good and evil, is beyond the patriot's fear, or the 
 enthusiast's dream. 
 
 RESPECTING dreams, I would say a word. Surrounded as 
 we are with mystery with our yesterdays in the grave, and our 
 to-morrows in Eternity what is a greater mystery than a dream ? 
 It comes to us when we are, as it were, in death ; when whole 
 cities are still ; when the rich and poor, the rough and gentle, 
 the care-worn and the careless, lie down in the blessed equality 
 of slumber, and wrap around them the mantle of repose. How 
 sweet must dreams be to the captive ! Dreams of the blue sky, 
 
 5
 
 66 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 the shining stars, the open fields ; the moon, like a golden lamp, 
 rolling through the dark blue depths of heaven ! I have certainly 
 had visions in the night-watches which have delighted me for 
 months ; flinging about my daily paths a glow and beauty which 
 tongue cannot utter, nor pen portray ; until I have been ready to 
 say on waking, with one of old, ' lledde mihi campos mcosfloridos, 
 columnam auream, assistentes angclos :' Give me my fields again, 
 my most delicious fields, my pillar of a glorious light, and my 
 assistant angels ! 
 
 Reader, did you never have queer dreams ? Had you ever a 
 vision of being at a fashionable party, and all at once discover 
 that you had no coat on ? That one of your feet was a broom, 
 wherewith, in obedience to some superior mandate, you were 
 engaged in both dancing and sweeping ? I wot of one, who has. 
 It is hard work to run in a dream. I have been chased by 
 Indians thus, and could never get on. Some horrid weight 
 hangs to one's feet ; he feels the breath of his enemy on his 
 shoulders and neck but it seems an age ere he is overtaken. 
 It is folly to say that it is not unpleasant to be killed in a dream. 
 I have laid down my life in this way, an hundred times. 
 
 One curious vision I remember, in my boyish days. Me- 
 thought I was crossing an immense abyss, on a single grape-vine, 
 with Apollyon for a pilot. I forget his appearance exactly, but 
 it was hideous in the extreme. He led me over the dark and 
 dismal void, until I had reached the midway part of the vine, 
 when he attempted the gymnastic feat of throwing me off. I 
 caught him by the hair, which me-seemed was composed of red 
 hot wires, very fine, and with a giant's strength hurled him below. 
 I hear yet sometimes the booming thunder of his ' sail broad- 
 vans,' as he fell. Then, methought I experienced a pair of 
 beautiful wings, and sailed away upon them to a paradise of rest. 
 I have done many valiant things in dreams, and made many 
 valued acquaintances. In them I have held large discourse with 
 Shakspeare, Milton, Sir Philip Sidney, Walter Scott, and I 
 know not how many other worthies. Then my travels ! I know 
 not where. I have not been in my visions. My last tour of this 
 sort was to Jerusalem. There I met many patriarchs and 
 prophets, and delivered a bitter oration to Judas, on his treach- 
 ery. On these occasions, I have always said to myself, ' Well,. 
 thank Heaven ! this is no dream. I have dreamed about such 
 things heretofore, but this is real.' In this style I have visited 
 Paris and London ; have wept with Josephine at Malmaison ; 
 and, as aid de camp to Napoleon, assisted in reviewing his troops 
 in the Champ de Mars. Heaven only knows how many times I
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 67 
 
 have dined with kings and princes, from Solomon down to Wil- 
 liam the Fourth. 
 
 There is nothing so glorious as water in a dream ! With a 
 strange green light, the waves arise and roll. Speaking in a 
 visionary sense, I can say with St. Paul. ' A night and a day- 
 have I been in the deep.' I have been drowned several times ; 
 and on one occasion, went across the Atlantic in a chariot, with 
 Pharaoh in livery for a driver. Fantastical thoughts, like those 
 of which Irving and Hood complain, often rise in thick-coming 
 throngs to my mind ; sometimes laden with dolour, and at others, 
 full of amusement and edification. 
 
 I have wept in dreams, and bitterly, too. Once I had a 
 vision, that two dear friends had gone to India, as missionaries. 
 I followed them, through dreadful tempests, across the ocean. 
 We approached Calcutta ; a beautiful vision of palaces and piles, 
 surrounded with hills of wonderful palm-trees, whose green leaves 
 displayed around their borders a circle of glorious and pris- 
 matic light. I touched the shore : the great car of Juggernaut 
 seemed approaching, and foremost in the ranks of the idolaters, 
 were the friends I sought. They had been converted to heathen- 
 ism. Before I could reach them, they plunged themselves be- 
 neath the car. I saw them crushed by the sanguinary wheels ; 
 their blood streamed around me ! It was a horrid dream ; and 
 when I awoke, how supremely happy did I arise, to thank GOD 
 it was ' but a dream !' 
 
 I HAVE a friend he belongs to the confraternity of ancient 
 and honorable bachelors who is wont to describe a most pain- 
 ful dream which he encountered in his thirtieth year. Before I 
 give his vision, however, I will describe the Visionary. He is 
 now about two, or, ' by'r Lady, inclining to three score ;' is very 
 censorious, and declares that the ladies now-a-days are nothing, 
 compared with those who flourished when ' we young fellows' 
 delighted society, in our powdered hair and graceful queues.' 
 He says that people have much degenerated ; and still avers with 
 pertinacious impudence, that he was once, and that not long ago, 
 considered the Adonis of the town. Sad alteration ! I scarcely 
 know what emblem would now represent his features. His face 
 is like a faded apple, and his eyes twinkle from under his shaggy 
 brows, like a mastiff's. He says a flat thing, laughs at it for 
 some ten minutes, and then swears at the by-stander who does 
 not ' comprehend the joke.' To what shall I liken this remnant 
 of the past this Ancient of Days ? To a withered shrub ?
 
 68 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 a sapless, hollow bought No; emblems fail. If he resembles 
 anything, he is 
 
 Most like to carcass perched on gallow-tree.' 
 
 Well, to his dream. He thought he was young again, and in 
 the midst of olden society the gay Lothario of his time. He 
 danced, and ' shook a graceful foot,' with many a damsel, at an 
 evening ball. Encountering one who filled him with admiration, 
 he proposed himself to her at once. He was accepted. A 
 priest was present, and the dance was exchanged a la mode de 
 songe-creux into a bridal party. The Bachelor was married : 
 he pressed an angel to his bosom. 
 
 Months rolled by as they go in dreams very swiftly, and 
 the honey-moon was over. My friend's angel proved a tartar. 
 They had words and from words (so the vision ran) they came 
 to blows. These squabbles were renewed daily. At last, one 
 day at breakfast, the unhappy Benedick determined to end his 
 troubles. He poisoned his coffee, and drank it down. A dread- 
 ful fever seized him ; he groaned, he thirsted, he burned with 
 heat ; and with a hideous yell, he awoke ! so delighted at his 
 celibacy, that he jumped out of bed, and in the darkness of his 
 apartment, watched only by the waning moon and stars, danced 
 an energetic rigadoon. 
 
 Now this was a dream that could only have entered the head 
 of some rusty old single gentleman. I eschew his scoundrel 
 opinions of matrimony, altogether. It has been called a lottery ; 
 but it is only such in one sense ; for all who embark in it, have 
 a full and fair opportunity to judge their prizes ; a probationary 
 season, which affords all needful scrutiny of disposition and char- 
 acter. I am of Milton his mind, with respect of marriage ; it is 
 a pleasing and consummate ordinance, and when thoughtfully en- 
 tered upon, right pleasant to the participants therein. A kind of 
 marriage mania has broken out among all my friends ; they are 
 dropping away one by one ; and all of them, happy fellows ! 
 seem to say by their looks and actions, that they would not thank 
 a king for his crown. You can't get them to take a glance at a 
 picture in the shop-windows now, as you are going to dinner : 
 they must hurry home ' there all their treasures be.' A sense 
 of loneliness sometimes arrests my spirit as I survey these glori- 
 ous companions in their domestic retreats. I have seen the time, 
 when 
 
 ' I would not my unhousel'd, free condition 
 Put into circumscription and confine, 
 For the sea's worth :' 
 
 but that time is not remembered with pleasure, nor is its contin-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 69 
 
 uance desirable. Truly saiih my kind, my beloved old Jeremy 
 Taylor : ' There is nothing can please a man without love : noth- 
 ing but that can sweeten felicity itself. When a man dwells in 
 love, then the breasts of his wife are as the droppings upon the 
 hill of Herman, her eyes are fair as the light of heaven, she is a 
 fountain sealed, and he can quench his thirst and ease his cares, 
 and lay his sorrows down upon her lap, and can retire home as 
 to his sanctuary and refectory, and his gardens of sweetness and 
 chaste refreshments. No man can tell but he that loves his chil- 
 dren, how many delicious accents make a man's heart dance in 
 the conversation of those dear pledges ; their childishness, their 
 stammering, their little angers, their innocence, their imperfec- 
 tions, their necessities, are so many little emanations of joy and 
 comfort to him that delights in their persons and society. She 
 that is loved is safe, and he that loves is joyful.' Such pictures as 
 these, are delightful to see. A parental sort of feeling crawls 
 f over the heart of the bachelor as he reads, and he is ready to 
 gird himself for adventure, and to say with the lord of Beatrice, 
 ' The world must be peopled !' 
 
 I read this passage the other day to a casual acquaintance, and 
 
 he said, profanely, it was ' d d nonsense !' But then he is 
 
 proverbial for the extreme smallness of his soul. He is one of 
 those kind of varlets, who are in a measure ' upon the town ;' 
 who will indulge their bibulous propensities at the expense of 
 any and everybody ; akin no doubt to the celebrated Simpkins, 
 the eleemosynary wine-bibber, upon whose tomb-stone the fol- 
 lowing epitaph was recorded, as if from the hand of a suffering 
 friend : 
 
 ' What ! Simpkins dead ! It cannot be. 
 
 Simpkins, will you take loine with me ? 
 
 No answer none? What! nothing said? 
 
 Won't he take wine ? he must be dead!' 
 
 The testimony or the anathemas of such a fellow can be nei- 
 ther hurtful nor valuable. He hates children, too : says he had 
 as lief see the devil. Out upon the wretch ! If ever there was 
 a positive manifestation of the divine spirit of GOD, it is the clear 
 eyes and brows of children. Their souls are new, and their af- 
 fections as fresh and ductile as a vine in spring. And how they 
 bound and glow, with the spirit of existence ! I could hang the 
 man stickler as I am for freedom of opinion who thinks 
 otherwise. If there be anything calculated to make us satisfied 
 with our earthly pilgrimage, it is the love of the young, and the 
 scenes of animation which they display. I have never had my 
 head examined by a phrenologist ; but it is my belief that the
 
 70 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 organ of Intercstinthejoysandsorrowsofchildrenativeness will be 
 found there, strongly developed. So much have I thought on 
 the subject, that I have a rough draft of metre, alluding thereun- 
 to, which ' it is hoped may please.' I have adopted for it a 
 plaintive air, now much in vogue in London, among the coster- 
 mongers and sweeps, and in which, as in many of the choruses 
 extant, there is a large amount of meaning. What a world of 
 thought is hidden, for example, in those magic words, ' ai, at, 
 eu ai, ai, euT in Zurich's Waters! I have seen ladies nod 
 their heads over pianos, and look as knowingly when they repeat- 
 ed these cabalistic monosyllables, as if they contained explana- 
 tions of certain symbols in the Apocalypse. But to the metre. 
 Stand a little back, Reader here it comes : 
 
 THE LIFE OF YOUTH. 
 
 AIR : ' ALL ROUND MT HAT.' 
 
 THERE is a time when light, and air, and flowers, 
 
 Are shining brightly whereso'er we tread ; 
 When, from the passing of the swift-wing'd hours, 
 
 An atmosphere of love and peace is shed ; 
 When hope flits near us, on her angel wings, 
 And sweetly to the heart her anthem sings. 
 
 Then pleasant transports overcome the bosom, 
 And days in pictured guise go beaming by ; 
 
 A softer breath exhaleth from the blossom 
 A purer radiance gilds the open sky : 
 
 The hues of heaven are poured on every scene 
 
 On the glad waters, and the fields of green. 
 
 All then is beauty; from the gay clouds, waving 
 Whene'er the breeze their golden skirts may stir, 
 
 To the blue streams their bloomy borders laving 
 The budding orchard, or the vernal fir : 
 
 A look of gladness beams where'er we move, 
 
 And fills the dancing heart with holy love. 
 
 With love for Nature, and for HIM whose power 
 Glows in the noontide, or the blush of morn ; 
 
 Whose smile the waves receive the tree, the flower- 
 The vine's rich tendrils, and the ripening corn ; 
 
 It wakes a Sabbath feeling in the breast 
 
 A tranquil sense of harmony and rest. 
 
 This is the Life of Youth ! and oh, how fleeting 
 
 The glorious splendors of its morning be ! 
 With changeful hues the wildered fancy cheating, 
 
 As moonlight smiles imprint the evening sea; 
 While the fair sails sweep onward in their pride, 
 O'er treacherous waves that to dim whirlpools glide.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 71 
 
 This is the Life of Youth ! Oh, could it linger 
 
 About us ever, as de Leon sought ; 
 Nor care, nor sorrow with effacing finger, 
 
 Destroy the magic web by fancy wrought, 
 This earth I could not then call stale and flat, 
 Nor the dark cypress wreathe ' all round my hat ." 
 
 READER, I am cut short. I have received intimations (accom- 
 panied with expressions of complimentary and profound regret) 
 that the space which I expected to replenish in the present num- 
 ber, has been unexpectedly circumscribed by the voluminous- 
 ness (unlooked-for) of other matter. Wherefore, until next we 
 meet, I say to you, as Wordsworth said to the companion of one 
 whom I greatly esteem as an American and a friend Vive va- 
 lete ! 
 
 NUMBER SEVEN. 
 
 November, 1835. 
 
 ONE thing is certain. There is an influence in Autumn which 
 induces a most oblivious negligence of the time being, which 
 transfers us from this ' ignorant present' into the very bowels of 
 fairy land. I can scantly take heart-a-grace enough to deglute 
 my daily provisions, make a morning call, or do any other thing 
 most easy to be done. I could just sit down, and dream of the 
 past from morn till dewy eve. Fancies, thicker than the multi- 
 tudinous leaves of Vallombrosa, beleague my soul, and I am led 
 captive at their will. It is a season Autumn is wherein to 
 play the Looker On. 
 
 PURSUANT to this predisposition, I was recently enacting Spec- 
 tator at a City Election. It is a glorious sight to see the People 
 come up in their majesty and exercise their suffrages. How an- 
 imated are the streets at night, on such occasions ! Hundreds 
 of paper lanthorns gleaming around the polls ; transparencies 
 shining from the head-quarters of wards and parties, and glorious 
 banners waving their stars and stripes in the gusty sky, over the 
 humming multitude. I always feel proud of my country at such 
 times. Surely there never was a better system of government 
 adopted by man, than ours. Liable to misuse perhaps, but show 
 me a nation on earth so essentially free as the American. In 
 truth, we are become ' rather too free ;' we make bold to infract 
 the laws somewhat too often. But where is the people that do 
 not do it more ?
 
 72 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 It must be confessed, though, that elections in the country are 
 often burlesque and bombastic to the last degree. Undue im- 
 portance is attached to small matters, little characters are stupen- 
 dously magnified, and little events elevated into marvels. I have 
 before me, for example, a late number of the Logtown Universal 
 Advertiser and Entire-Swine Despatch. It presents the details 
 of an unimportant inspectors' election, something as follows : 
 
 'VICTORY! VICTORY! GLORIOUS VICTORY! 
 
 ' WK hasten to lay before our numerous readers, and the country at large, 
 the thrilling events by which yesterday was signalized in the annals of Log- 
 town. The day opened big with the fate of principles and men. As the 
 morn advanced, the throngs of golden clouds which shone in the East seem- 
 ed to cast a smile of welcome, gorgeous and indescribable, o'er a long line 
 of pedestrian voters, some in one-horse wagons, and all of them residing 
 near our village, wending to the contest. Heaven looked on with interest 
 and expectancy. Proud was the issue, and the result also, as the sequel 
 will show. At last, the auspicious time arrived. The contest was begun 
 the onslaught was made. The conclusion was, that the immense eagle of 
 victory sits on our banners, a-flopping her wide spread opinions, to the con- 
 fusion and dismay of the vile horde of foul and corrupt miscreants, traitors 
 to their country, and Goo-forsaken wretches, who attempted to stop the 
 flight of the ahead-going bird. Their hopes are prostrated ! There is 
 every certainty that our townsman, John Jones Smith, Jr., Esq., will go to 
 the Legislature ; and we can, with swelling bosoms, fearlessly assure the 
 nation at large, and the friends of liberty everywhere, that Logtown is re- 
 generated, and disenthralled erect, and sound to the core ! Henceforth let 
 ner be set down as one of the most Spartan communities on the face of the 
 earth. ' Liberty or death /' was her war-cry : it prevailed, and she has con- 
 quered ! 
 
 ' Of course, where such immense interests of a faction were at stake, bad 
 passions will have play. We regret to say that several fights occurred, 
 while the two parties were counting off. One loathsome ragamuffin, with a 
 face black with anger and dirt, attempted but too successfully to pull the 
 nose of our worthy magistrate and fellow-townsman, Plutarch Shaw, while 
 in the agreeable and inoffensive act of taking a pint of beer ' thinking no 
 danger, for he had no guilt.' Blood flowed in torrents, but the estimable 
 Shaw disdained to retaliate upon his opponent, who repaid his forbearance 
 with a remark unparalleled for its ingratitude : namely, that * Shaw was too 
 drunk to lift his fist !' We forbear comment on such atrocious conduct. 
 It is sufficient to record the fact thereby holding up the offender to the 
 scorn of the world, Contempt, indeed, is a powerful weapon. We had 
 occasion, ourself, to use it yesterday. A miscreant, totally unbeknown to 
 us, stopped us by the door of a tavern, where we had made ourself the re- 
 cipient of a few oysters, and with his arms akimbo, inquired: ' Are you the 
 man as edits the Advertiser and Entire-Swine Despatch ?' We answered 
 in the negative, ' yes, that we were.' ' Well,' said the villain, with a look 
 of unutterable impudence, ' I am glad I have got a sight of you. I have 
 been a-wanting sometime to see the man as I considers the greatest rascal 
 and the barefacetest liar in the district !' 
 
 ' Our reply was cahn and dignified. We answered, by way of response, 
 that we were glad he was gratified ; and expressed a hope that, having seen 
 what he wished, he would pass on. Our reply created much pleasant laugh- 
 ter at the time ; though a few heated partisans of the opposite party at-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 73 
 
 tempted to hoot ajid hiss us. Their malignant souls could not brook our 
 magnanimity, and consequent safety of person. Poor, vile, contemptible 
 assassins from the bottom of our heart, how we do despise them! 
 
 'P. S. Since writing the above, we have found reason to believe that the 
 wretch who was led to address us by the tavern, was urged on by the up- 
 start editor of the Logtown General Observer and Deluge of Reform. We 
 do not doubt it. He is a paltry, low, we had almost said nasty, individual, 
 and would feel honored by our scorn. Nothing but an insuperable objection 
 to low epithets, could prevent us from speaking of this felon and caitiff as 
 he deserves. But we forbear. Argument, not personality, is our battle-axe. 
 We leave the conductor of the Deluge to wallow in the rottenness of that 
 moral leprosy which has covered him all over as with a garment. He is an 
 utmost wretch a multitudinous puppy perfectly ostensible in character, 
 and venial in deportment, lacking not urbanity merely, but politeness like- 
 wise. With these sentiments we leave him to the vulture-fangs of his own 
 filthy conscience. We have treated him tenderly in this instance but let 
 him beware ! One more provocation, and we will gibbet him before a dis- 
 gusted world, in terms which shall be remembered. Verbal Sap, as Ho- 
 mer says 'a word is a sufficiency ' and we have done.' 
 
 IT was glorious sport for me, in the ' post prandial hours ' of 
 my school days, when election time came. The student loves 
 the season, for he feels the very spirit of liberty which the elec- 
 tions perpetuate and display. It is pleasant to see partisans, af- 
 ter election is over, mingling again together in unity and friend- 
 ship. Half the speeches in political meetings are spoken for 
 effect, and words are used to express ten times more than they 
 mean. ' Now, here is a point,' said a young friend of mine, as 
 he showed me some loose notes of a ward-meeting address, 
 ' here's a place where I mean to get up a small lot of indigna- 
 tion ; here I will make a touching appeal to patriotism, our fore- 
 father's rights in jeopardy, and so forth. There are several fine 
 fellows on the opposition ticket ; I have to dine with a couple of 
 them to-morrow ; but I shall call them to-night, politically, all 
 the varlets, traitors, and rascals, that I can lay my tongue to : 
 and so will they me. But we all know what it amounts to -just 
 nothing, as far as our social positions are concerned. Do what 
 we will, in our self-government, we must be a happy people : 
 hut I like the excitement.' 
 
 How much by the way, there is in that one word, excitement ! 
 Of how many mad pranks and boyish adventures it is the source 
 and soul ! I once belonged to a fraternity of students y'clept 
 ' The Snap-Dragon Club.' I was founded by one Harry Wil- 
 ford, a harum-scarum youth as ever thumbed Horace, or medi- 
 tated deviltries over the eloquent page of Cicero. Beshrew him 
 for a mad wag ! The list of the S. D. Society included all the 
 clever fellows in the Seminary where it was formed ; and the con-
 
 74 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 stitution required that every member should consent to obey the 
 commands of the President (in common with the whole corps), 
 whatever they might be ! Wilford was President : and truly he 
 was a hard one. Sometimes he would issue orders by his Sec- 
 retary to the Club, to resort to some rendezvous several miles 
 from town, at three o'clock in the morning. No one disobeyed. 
 How many times has he selected some cloudy, stormy autumn 
 night, and issued his mandate for a convention of the Club, 
 without umbrellas, in some open field, a league off, to hear one 
 of the members, chosen by himself, sing a song ! It was a cu- 
 rious, eccentric band as ever leagued together ; and I cannot re- 
 member one instance of infracted orders. We were situated 
 somewhere near the centre of Western New York, distant about 
 eight miles from the celebrated Cayuga Lake and Bridge ; and 
 not one romantic dell, or ridge, or stream, for ten miles round, 
 remained unvisited by the Club. The President generally per- 
 mitted us to rest in the winter season ; for in that quarter the 
 breath of old Hyem is like a blast from the glaciers. What was 
 our astonishment, then, on a cold morning in February, 18 , 
 on reading the following Dog-Latin notice in the village news- 
 paper : 
 
 'SYMPOSIUM RUMPO-DRACONIS: 
 
 Congregere in Pons Cayuguum, Februarius Sexdecim, nox media, pro 
 jocus et exercitatio, et animi relaxatio. 
 
 |^* OBJECT. Elevation of the Ancient Henry. 
 
 HT. WILFORD, Prceses. 
 feb. 15 It.* 
 N. B. Preliminary Rendezvous. H. No. 3. R. No. 4.' 
 
 This notice well understood by the initiated created great 
 sensation in the club. We huddled together, after evening 
 prayers in the chapel, at Wilford's room in the third Hall, Num- 
 ber Four. 
 
 ' Gentlemen,' said Harry, ' you are required to-night to do a 
 signal and singular duty. The Club must be at Cayuga bridge 
 at twelve, precisely. Every member is required to transport 
 thither, in his hat, six crackers and one dried herring. The 
 pocket of every brother must contain the pecuniary sum of one 
 dollar. The design of the convocation is expressed in the 
 notice.' 
 
 ' But, Mr. President,' said a young member, * We don't know 
 what it means. What does it say we must do ? What are we 
 to elevate ?' 
 
 * Sit down, Sir !' said Wilford, imperatively : ' your education, 
 as a brother of the Snap-Dragons, has been neglected. The
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 75 
 
 sentence to which you refer, is symbolically, or rather synonymi- 
 cally, expressed and put. It means that the object of our meet- 
 ing is to raise the old Harry ! We are going to have a scrape.' 
 The explanation was voted satisfactory, and at the hour of 
 nine we sat off, nineteen students, all in a body. Oh, what a 
 bitter cold night it was ! Not one of the party reached the ap- 
 pointed place without frozen ears and toes. But there was no 
 flinching ; every man stood his ground : and at the witching hour 
 of midnight, fortified with punch, crackers, and the individual 
 herring, we all stood on the middle of the bridge. Boreas ! 
 how the air swept down the lake, over the thick-ribbed ice ! 
 Here Wilford addressed us, in beautiful language, of which he 
 was a perfect master ; thanked us for our crucifixion of selfish- 
 ness for the ends of the Club ; expatiated upon the benefits of 
 resolution and perseverance ; and after a quotation of Ossian's 
 Address to the Moon, ended with the following : 
 
 Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky ! 
 Thou canst not bite so nigh, 
 
 As benefits forgot ; 
 Although thy breath be rude 
 Although the skies thou warp, 
 Thou art not half so sharp, 
 As man's ingratitude !' 
 
 This quotation was the finale. We reached home somewhere 
 in the vicinity of day-break, a weary set of wretches, and crawled 
 to our beds, to enjoy the rich luxury of sleep, until the tintin- 
 nabulary announcement of nine, from the chapel bell. 
 
 Oh golden days of keen, but objectless adventure ! when we 
 attached importance to every little achievement ; when the snowy 
 expanse of landscape shot past us like a dream, from the loaded 
 sleigh, or the springing pung ; when there was beauty every 
 where, and in every thing; brown woods, and frozen streams, 
 or the big lakes, where we wheeled on glistering heel ! Days 
 of excitement, of pride, of tumultuous thoughts, of deep affec- 
 tions, of burning ambition whither have ye flown! Psha ! 
 I am becoming sentimental. 
 
 WELL Harry Wilford after this gave the Club a respite, 
 until the next Spring, when a camp-meeting occurred at a place 
 about sixteen miles distant from our Seminary. All was bustle 
 and confusion in the village ; every body was going, and Harry's 
 head conceived a luminous idea. He issued a notice that die 
 Club should convene on the camp ground at nine P. M. on Sun- 
 day evening. The notice, which was distributed thoroughly
 
 76 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 among the members, concluded with the following ominous line : 
 ' From the President, who will precede the Club, preaching, 
 from the pulpit, may be expected.' 
 
 Every one was astonished ; expectation was on tiptoe ; but 
 mum was the word. Measures were adopted for the procurement 
 of a conveyance, but not one was to be had in the town. At 
 last an old fellow, who brought turnips and cabbages to market, 
 and lived a mile or two from the village, was prevailed upon to 
 oblige us for a liberal compensation, with his cart, two venerable 
 mares, and a couple of unbroken colts. These were brought 
 together in double tandem, the maternal cattle acting as leaders- 
 We started at the sunset of a beautiful day ; but Phoebus and 
 Phaeton ! what a figure we cut ! The old turnip-cart creaked 
 like a gibbet ; and though the colts were well enough, yet their 
 parental precedents might have reminded one of the animals 
 mentioned by the quaint old Peter Heylin, in his ' Compleate 
 Uoyauge thorough France :' ' As lean were they as Envie is in 
 the Poet modes in corpora tola being most true of them. 
 Neither were they not only lean enough to have their ribbes num- 
 bred, but the very spurs had made such casements thorough their 
 skinnes, that it had been no great dificultie for to have surveyed 
 their entrails. A straunge kynde of catel in mine opinion, and 
 such as had neither flesh on their bones, nor skinne on their fleshy 
 nor hair on their skinne. All the neighing we cold heare from 
 the proudest of them was onely an old dry cougph, which I 'le 
 assure you did much comfort me ; for by that noise I first learned 
 there was life in them.' 
 
 We reached the camp-ground in due time, fagged and jaded. 
 But the excitement of the scene put all our weariness to flight. 
 When we entered the hedged area in the wilderness, and saw 
 the assembled thousands in a waving mass beneath the torch- 
 disclosed foliage of innumerous boughs, we could scarcely con- 
 tain ourselves for admiration. As we were entering, we caught 
 a glimpse of Harry Wilford. He was presenting a letter to a 
 clergyman in a corner of the camp-ground. We were marvel- 
 ling what that could mean, when singing commenced. How 
 sweetly it fell on my ear ! Every leaf that trembled to the 
 breeze, seemed instinct with holy melody. There is nothing so 
 heavenly and subduing, as the full-volumed gush of harmony 
 which rises like incense from the lips of a primitive, sensitive 
 congregation, chanting ' with spirit and understanding,' in GOD'S 
 first temple, the solemn forest. I felt overpowered. 
 
 After singing, there was a prayer ; and then a solemn- visaged 
 man of GOD arose to announce that a young brother, in full
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 77 
 
 standing in a distant Conference, had been warmly introduced to 
 him by letter, and would deliver his message. ' Brother Wil- 
 kins,' he said, ' I leave this flock in the wilderness to receive the 
 manna of your ministrations.' 
 
 The young brother arose. It was Harry Wilford! His 
 mouth was pursed up with an aspect like the aperture of a 
 lady's reticule ; his profusion of glowing brown locks had been 
 tallowed down over his handsome forehead, with a most demure 
 expression, and those mischievous eyes of his were chastened to 
 a glance of peculiar sobriety. A benignant smile played about 
 his finely-chiselled mouth, so faint, indeed, that it scarcely seemed 
 a smile ; and he had begirt himself in a coat * of formal cut,' with 
 a ' stand-up' collar, which, as I discovered at a glance, belonged 
 to a lank, ungainly fellow who swept the halls of our little col- 
 lege, and rejoiced in the soubriquet, ' Professor of Dust and Ashes.' 
 
 I caught Wilford's eye twice, before he began his exhorta- 
 tion ; and there was a lurking deviltry in the expression, as if it 
 said : ' Keep your gaze on me, boys ; I 'm doing well ; don't 
 disconcert me.' 
 
 He selected his text from Acts xxvi. 29 : ' And Paul said, I 
 would to GOD, that not only thou, but also all that hear me this 
 day, were both almost and altogether such as I am, except these 
 bonds ;' and never did I hear a more eloquent sermon. He ran 
 rapidly through the history of Paul ; he touched with impas- 
 sioned fervor upon the lofty spirit with which he went bound in 
 the spirit unto Jerusalem, and gave with pathetic enthusiasm, the 
 outline picture of his arraignment before Festus. ' Mark, my 
 beloved brethren and sisters,' said he, ' the powerful contrast be- 
 tween the pride of sin, and the unadorned glory of the Chris- 
 tian ! Behold the meek Apostle, standing before the imperial 
 Festus and Agrippa, who with Bernice his wife had come with 
 great pomp, accompanied by the chief captains and principal men 
 of the city brought forth by commandment hindered with 
 bonds, before princes and potentates, in gold and purple ! He 
 lifts up his voice ; the trembling spirit-tones ring through the vast 
 apartment where he stands ; they thunder at the door of every 
 heart ; they bring the deluge of sensibility to many a cheek. 
 The warm lip of woman quivers ; her bright orbs grow dim with 
 emotion ; the silvered head sinks thoughtfully upon the breast of 
 age ; a Sabbath holiness lingers around ; and as the travel-worn 
 apostle speaketh on, the bosoms that surround him, thrill to the 
 movement of his tongue. As he proceeds, he kindles ; he seems 
 to rise above the wall of dust that circumscribes his spirit ; his, 
 corruption seems to put on incorruption ; his mortal form seems
 
 78 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 to ( expand into the bright dimensions of immortality. The voice 
 of inspiration trembles around ; the words of grace fall like good 
 seed, broad-cast among the multitude ; and as the prisoner in his 
 bonds pleads the cause of love, and truth, and GOD, the agitated 
 Festus, shrinking from the tremendous energy of his eloquence, 
 exclaims, ' Thou art beside thyself!' But with what firm benev- 
 olence and kindly meekness is his insult answered ! How calmly 
 is it denied ! And with what yearning tenderness does the Pil- 
 grim and Soldier of the Cross invoke for his judge all the bles- 
 sings that filled his own soul ' except his bonds !' Wondrous 
 benignity fond outpouring of a spirit rapt and overflowing with 
 the fulness of GOD ! Who would not rather journey with the 
 saint in his pilgrim-sandals from prison to prison, from peril to 
 peril, from stripes to shipwreck, than to dwell in the tents of sin- 
 ful magnificence, or abide in the ephemeral tabernacles of lux- 
 ury to wield the sceptre of kings, or hold the reins of empires !' 
 Here Wilford's cheek flushed, and his eye sparkled with enthu- 
 siasm. He saw by the uplifted hands, he heard by the groans 
 and shouts around him, that his discourse was taking effect, and 
 like an actor, excited with applause, he swept onward in his 
 speech : ' Oh, my friends ! let not his great example be lost upon 
 you. Follow in his footsteps ; walk even as he walked ; deny- 
 ing ungodliness, and crucifying the flesh, with its affections and 
 lusts ; so that at the last, ye may shine in ga-loh-rah ! Mark 
 what I tell ye ! I may be unworthy ; your preacher may be sin- 
 ful, ignorant, and imperfect ; but ye must be watchful, prayerful, 
 and steadfast : then shall ye shine at the last as the stars in the 
 firmament, for ever and ever. Then, when the sun himself shall 
 grow dim with years ; when his yellow hair shall no longer float 
 on the Eastern mountains, or his golden banners tremble at the 
 gates of the West ; when the ocean shrinks to its final ebb, and 
 the mountains themselves decay with age, then shall ye stray 
 amid the blissful fields of Paradise, enjoying pinultimately mind 
 I say pi-nultimately those raptures of which, in this dull vale 
 of misery, we have nor sign nor symbol.' 
 
 Here Wilford lowered his voice, and ended his discourse with 
 a beautiful allusion to the scene around him. He was skilled in 
 camp-meeting psalmody, and with his sweet voice 'raised' a 
 tune, and led the singers in a hymn whose simple melody yet 
 haunts my ear. 
 
 When the hymn was finished, it was followed by an ' exhor- 
 tation' from some Western Brother, who had strayed into the 
 Conference on a mission for supplies. His address was the 
 strangest compound of pathos and bathos that I have ever heard.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 79 
 
 Wilford, while he spoke, sat on the seat behind him, and I ob- 
 served that it was with the utmost difficulty he could keep his 
 countenance. The Preacher discussed the text of the good 
 Samaritan, illustrating therefrom the great benefits of kindness 
 and charity. But his discourse had no more connection with the 
 text, than it had with the science of algebra. He talked of 
 every thing and oh, Santa Maria ! what grammar he did use, 
 to be sure! ' Them kind of characters,' said he speaking of 
 the selfish and avaricious ' is not fit for to live, nor for to die. 
 They hasn't no bowels, no more than a statute. Poor deluded 
 souls ! they go through the world, without doing no good to no- 
 body ; and when they die, they go to their own place. Hence 
 we view, that when the final judgment comes, they will meet with 
 dreadful punishments. How awful will be that there scene ! 
 Then, all at onst, they will obsarve the heavens a-darkening, the 
 seas a-roaring, the tombs a-bustin', the mountains a-melting, and 
 the cattle and sheep straddling about to keep their places !' 
 
 He went on in this strain, until his voice became thick and 
 husky, and he complained that ' his lungs was a-givin' in.' Here 
 his tones sunk to a low and plaintive pitch ; and he closed with 
 sentences that fell like music upon my ear, and brought a flood 
 of tears to my eyes. He spoke of the dangers that had beset 
 him in the far West ; and of the benignity of that Power which 
 had sustained him through every trial. ' Often,' he said, ' how 
 often, have I swum my horse across midnight rivers, carrying 
 the glad tidings of salvation to settlements in the wilderness, when 
 the fearful cry of wolves rung in my ear, and the watch-fires of 
 the hostile Indians blazed beneath the giant pines ! How often 
 have I wandered through the tall grass of the Prairies, day after 
 day, with my over-coat for my evening pillow, and the star-gem- 
 med vault of heaven for the curtains of my rest ! I was sad, 
 but I was comforted ; I was thirsty, but my spirit had refresh- 
 ment ; I was weary, but the arm of Omnipotence sustained my 
 fainting footsteps, and I laid my head upon the bosom of peace. 
 I was far from man in silence alone ; yet not alone, for my 
 GOD was with me !' 
 
 Words could not describe the thrilling effect of this simple yet 
 sublime conclusion. It banished completely from my mind the 
 preceding absurdities of imagery in which the preacher had in- 
 dulged, and left me filled with emotion. I did not mean to be 
 impious, as I made the observation, but I did not reflect that it 
 might apply to both ends of his sermon, when I said, as I de- 
 parted with my fellow Snap-Dragons, ' Never man spake like 
 ihis man.'
 
 80 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 About an hour after the conclusion of his maiden sermon, 
 Wilford met the club, entire, as agreed upon, ' at the first tavern 
 from the ground.' He had on an enormous pair of false whis- 
 kers ; his hair was brushed up in his usual free, airy style ; his 
 coat had been changed, and his hat placed jauntily on one side. 
 I never saw a fellow so full of spirit. We had a fine supper, 
 and Harry staid longer than all. When I left, he was saying to 
 the landlord: 'Come, show your charge for the company; 
 what 's to pay ? Bring in your bill, as the honey-suckle said to 
 the humming-bird.' 
 
 Poor Harry ! His mad-cap career, as a mad-cap, was short. 
 He is now a devoted missionary of the church, at a far western sta- 
 tion ; and I recently heard an old lady who knows him there, say 
 that ' A piouser creeter, nor a devouter, never was seen, nowhere !' 
 
 TALKING of old women, makes me think of young ones. I 
 see by an article in one of the late English magazines, that the 
 palm of superior beauty is frankly awarded to the ladies of the 
 United States. This is just. Who can walk through the streets 
 of any of our principal cities New- York or Philadelphia for 
 instance never forgetting Baltimore without being struck and 
 smitten with the rare loveliness of the damsels therein ? It is 
 like walking through a splendid gallery of animated pictures. 
 How many fairy forms, and ' wreathed smiles,' and dove-like 
 eyes ! 1 care not if the observer of these be an elder brother of 
 Methusalem he must be moved he must admire : for 
 
 Who can curiously behold 
 
 The smoothness and the sheen of Beauty's cheek, 
 Nor feel the heart can never all grow old ?' 
 
 But there is a pestilent pack of fellows in New- York, who are 
 potent wine-bibbers and fortune-hunters, that spend their days 
 and nights in scoundrclizing, to use a term of their own. A 
 member of this clan will pay his devoirs to a lady, giving her 
 every reason to believe that he is serious in his intentions, and 
 overflowing with affection, when he is only worming from her a 
 few secrets respecting her goods and chattels, present and pros- 
 pective. These varlets have a cabalistic language of their own, 
 of which I will endeavor to give the reader an idea. I overheard 
 a pair of them conversing not long ago in Broadway, and having 
 previously acquired the key to their dialect, I understood it 
 perfectly. 
 
 ' Well, Bob,' said one, ' were you at Miss 's soiree last 
 
 night ? It was expected to be superb.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 81 
 
 * Yes, I was, Tom ; but my good fellow, it was scarce an ob- 
 ject. It was hardly worth the perfume that I unctuated my 
 whiskers withal. There were several sweet, virtuous young 
 ladies there ; modest, exemplary, lovely. But they were some 
 engaged, and the rest were ' minus the brads' paupers, all.' 
 
 ' But Miss Van Blank was there, wasn't she ? If so, I say 
 there was Heaven. Which way she turns is paradise, and her 
 smile would improve the sunshine in Eden. There is retiring, 
 bashful, rose-like loveliness for you.' 
 
 ' Granted, Tom she was there and all you say is true : 
 
 '. but my dear boy, she has no moral character. Her reputation 
 
 is bad. Now who do you think was the very nucleus of the 
 
 company ? Why, that rich and ugly Miss . They say she 
 
 is improving, every year, and egad, I think so. She has per- 
 sons enough in her employ, amending her face and frame, to 
 beautify the Witch of Endor. Look at her hand ; why it is as 
 large as the hand of Providence. She has got a better smile 
 than she was wont to have and I know who sold it to her! I 
 saw that same smile last year, in a glass case, at the exhibition of 
 the American Institute. It cost her money and really it has 
 done execution. That great walking porker, Frank Rumminson, 
 has asked her hand, and won it, and nobody knows it. The money- 
 liunters flock around her, as the fish do round a fly. Frank will 
 have a great prize with her ; but the worst of it is, she is immortal. 
 I believe she must have descended from the Wandering Jew; and 
 I '11 wager a dozen of champaigne that she will live till dooms- 
 day, and be the first to hear the angel Gabriel give his solo obli- 
 gate on the trumpet.' 
 
 ' Hush, Bob you are getting blasphemous. This won't do. 
 Who else was there ?' 
 
 1 Why Miss , the younger. You know she was thought 
 
 quite rich, and the fellows scoundrelized about her very exten- 
 sively, until they found their error, when they retired in shoals. 
 I asked one of them last night what had become of her property. 
 * Ah !' said he, ' my fine boy, we were misinformed. She has 
 no property to become of. 1 
 
 Thus they went on ; but I must explain their lingo. When 
 
 i these varlets wish to inquire among themselves respecting a lady's 
 
 fortune, they interrogate under the synonym of an inquiry as to 
 
 her moral character. If affluent, it is ' excellent ;' if middling, 
 
 she ' has a fair reputation ;' if without any funds they call her 
 
 -' perfectly abandoned, with no character at all.' So they go ; 
 
 playing evermore the same mercenary and scoundrel game. Out 
 
 upon them ! They ought to be hanged, and then be pulled by thq 
 
 6
 
 82 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 nose. The damsel of whom the young partyzan spoke, with all 
 her plainness, is deluged with compliments and love-letters. As 
 Frank Rumminson is the elect, she burns most of these scrawls 
 without reading. 
 
 BY the by, how much tact and genius it requires to write a 
 good love-letter. Most persons are ill at these amorous scrip- 
 tures. I encountered one the other day, in an ancient tome, 
 (the Extravagaunt Shepherd), that pleased me mightily. Here it 
 runs : 
 
 ' Mr DEAREST DEER : 
 
 4 SITHENCE that love, which is the lightest bird in the world, hath 
 nestled in my bosom, it hath proved so full of egg, that I have been forced 
 to suffer him to lay there. But sithence he hath laid it, he hath sate upon 
 it a long tyme, and at length hath hatched this little pullet which I now 
 send you. The breeding of it will cost you little ; all the food it will re- 
 quire will be caresses and kisses. And withal, it is so well taught that it 
 speaks better than a paraqueto, and so will tell you my sufferings for you. 
 It hath in charge lo inquire of you whether or no you are yet displeased 
 with me, and to let me know your mind, not by a pullet so big as this, but 
 by the least chicken you please, if I may have your favor; with this promise, 
 that if you have laid aside your rigor, 1 shall send you no more pullets, but 
 present you with full-grown birds, full of valor and affection. LYSIS. 
 
 ' Flowers,' saith Shakspeare, ' are love's charactery ;' and I 
 dare be sworn he never thought that passion, or the record which 
 confessed it, could be symbolized by so familiar a fowl as a pullet. 
 However, Miss Landon declares that ' Love is full of phanta- 
 sies,' and the billet doux of the Extravagant Shepherd prove it. 
 If the nestling fowl was kind, it is probable that Lysis very soon 
 engendered barn-door birds enough to stock an aviary. Doubt- 
 less the pastoral youth could have said, with Godfrey of Bul- 
 loigne : 
 
 Ah, cruel Love, that slayeth us equally, 
 Where worm-wood thou or honey do dispence; 
 And equal deadly at all seasons be 
 Mischieves and medicines that proceed of thee.' 
 
 I HAVE been looking for several evenings with great earnestness 
 at the comet. Whether I have seen farther into it than my con- 
 temporaries, I can not tell. I have observed enough, however, 
 to convince me that this Stranger in our sky is a very ' eccentric 
 character. It wandets about ad libitum shedding the light of 
 its countenance wherever it listeth free and independent the 
 Democrat of the ah?. * Success to its wand'rings, where'er it 
 may go !' 
 
 Many sensible things have been said of comets. Old DIED-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 83 
 
 % 
 
 RICH KNICKERBOCKER heaven rest his soul! expressed his 
 fears, on the ipse dixit of certain philosophers and his modest 
 pen blushed while he did so that the comet would one day 
 ' turn tail upon the earth, and deluge it with water.' But that 
 was founded on a false hypothesis. It is cheering to believe that 
 a better destiny awaits it. 
 
 Levity aside ; is it not a grand and vast conception, that this 
 wan anjl misty orb has been travelling swifter than the swiftest 
 cannon-ball, through the dim realms of space, since our SAVIOUR 
 slept in the manger at Bethlehem, and the Star in the East lit its 
 fires for the Wise Men's eyes? Is it not like Divinity, that 
 power of Astronomic prophecy, which pierced the curtains of 
 the future, and foretold the advent of this blazing world ? Looks 
 it not like sharing attributes with Omnipotence, and ' circumvent- 
 ing GOD ?' And when this generation shall be slumbering in the 
 dust, that predicted orb will again stream its ' horrid hair' across 
 our sky. When the lover who has now looked at it with his 
 mistress shall become a patriarch among his children ; when the 
 child now lisping its early inquiries of the wandering star, shall 
 tell the tale in after years, to some grand-babe throned on her 
 knee then the comet will come again ! What changes, what 
 revolutions, what convulsions of states and empires, will chance 
 ere then ! My soul expands into a sense of sublimity, as I re- 
 flect on the vast world of events between. How many ties will 
 be severed how many hearts be broken how many tears be 
 shed ! Yet while on earth these vicissitudes will advene and 
 vanish, in that far element above and around us this luminous 
 globe shall wander with its train, flashing and glowing through the 
 fields of immensity. Thought itself Imagination in her boldest 
 flight sinks with wearied wing, unable to grasp the stupendous, 
 boundless theme ! Truly said the ancient minstrel ; ' When I 
 survey the heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the 
 stars which thou hast ordained, then I say, what is man that thou 
 art mindful of him, or the son of man that thou visitest him ?' 
 
 What a pity it is, that we have no great telescopes in our 
 country, to survey the skies withal. There was, during the last 
 winter and spring, a locomotive astronomer doubtless of Yan- 
 kee extraction who paraded of evenings about the streets of 
 Philadelphia, with a large glass stationed on a frame. He sold 
 small parcels of astronomy, at sixpence a-piece. I bought three 
 shillings worth of him in the course of the season. He was door- 
 keeper to the heavenly bodies ; and had all the realm of sky 
 Air shire as his own. I got the worth of my outlay every time. 
 I saw Jupiter, Saturn, the Rings, and the revolving satellites, all
 
 84 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 for zftpennybit. I shall never cease to thank this surveyor of 
 celestial lots for the glimpes of heaven that he gave me. I form- 
 ed, while looking through his immense lenses, some idea of the 
 swiftness, the tremendous energy, with which this earth revolves 
 on her axis. The old 'alma mater has in truth a restless time of 
 it. Notwithstanding the immense distance of the stars observed, 
 the glass, resting on the solid earth, would glide by them in a 
 moment. The eternal dance of planets went on, each sphere 
 rolling in its own atmosphere, with worlds on countless worlds 
 beyond ; surrounded with infinity, and making melody to GOD ! 
 I care not how I come by such thoughts as these, but it is 
 very queer to see a person peddling sublimity by the glimpse, 
 and snacks of astronomy at so much the squint, or, as it were, by 
 the quintal. Nobody but a member of the Universal Yankee 
 Nation would have conceived this stellar enterprise. 'Dinumeras 
 Stellas, si potes,' was said of old : and I will wager my opera-glass, 
 that some ingenious American will take, ere long, an ethereal 
 census. Mr. Clayton, with his thirty-passenger balloon, is des- 
 tined to put out the first celestial feeler in the business. By St. 
 Paul ! we can do anything in this country. I believe, with a 
 lamented friend, if Mount ./Etna were sold to an American Stock 
 Company, that money could be evoked from the transaction : 
 * Enceladus would be made to roar by contract, and the natural 
 fire-works be exhibited for a consideration !' 
 
 How pleasant is a lovely thing, a little out of season ! Just 
 now a humming-bird came fluttering about a few dahlias that are 
 blushing in my window, through the yellow sunshine of this 
 warm October day. He lingered for a moment, ' like atom of 
 the rainbow, glittering round,' and then balanced his beautiful 
 pinions for flight. His tiny form is just fading, in the direction 
 where the many-colored foliage of Washington Square is twink- 
 ling to the breeze : 
 
 THOU fairy bird, whose golden wing 
 
 Mounts on the west wind's stealing sigh : 
 
 For thee the flowers profusely fling 
 Their last aroma through the sky 
 
 Go on rejoicing ; but take heed that thy flight be not in the win- 
 ter. Ours is a changeful climate, Master Cobweb. 
 
 This incident has revived in my mind three perfect stanzas, 
 from a pen once wielded by a hand now mouldering in the grave. 
 Nothing can be sweeter or purer. They breathe the very phi- 
 losophy of Faith, and soul of Song. The strain was suggested 
 to the author on seeing a butterfly resting on a skull.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 CREATURE of air and light ! 
 Emblem of that which may not fade or die; 
 
 Wilt thou not speed thy flight, 
 To chase the south wind through the glowing sky ? 
 
 What lures thee thus to stay 
 
 With silence and decay, 
 Fix'd on the wreck of cold mortality ? 
 
 The thoughts once chambered there, 
 Have gathered up their treasures, and are gone ; 
 
 Will the dust tell us where 
 They that have burst their prison-house have flown? 
 
 Rise, nursling of the day, 
 
 If thou wouldst trace their way 
 Earth hath no voice to make the secret known. 
 
 Who seeks the vanished bird, 
 By the forsaken nest and broken shell ? 
 
 Far hence he sings unheard, 
 Yet free and joyous, mid the woods to dwell ! 
 
 Thou of the sunshine born, 
 
 Take the bright wings of morn ! 
 Thy hopes call heavenward from yon gloomy cell. 
 
 ' No more at present,' dear Reader, from your faithful 
 
 OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER EIGHT. 
 
 December, 1835. 
 
 THAT was a good inscription which Byron desired should be 
 recorded on his monument ' Implora pace? Delicious peace ! 
 I love thee as I do sleep. Thou insensible Dove, that waftest 
 upon thy soft and fragrant pinion the odors from the gardens of 
 the Hesperides, and Islands of the Blest ! I love thee for the rich 
 reveries in which my soul is steeped when thou art nigh ; whether 
 thou comest in gusty Autumn, in the solemn stillness of a starry 
 winter's night, in the glow of Summer, or the balm-breathing 
 loveliness of Spring. It is only the idea of its peace, which 
 reconciles us to the grave. When the hurly-burly of life is over, 
 it is sweet to believe that there is rest in the tomb. The heart 
 shrinks indeed from its breathless, pulseless, and ' cold obstruc- 
 tion ;' but there is comfort to the care-worn bosom in the thought 
 of its repose. When the ' fitful fever' of earth has frenzied heart 
 and brain ; when the sad breast is surcharged with groans and 
 sighs ; it is not melancholy to believe in the rest of the grave. 
 When bitter images take possession of the mind ; when friends
 
 86 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 are faithless, and love inconstant then the wearied one sighs for 
 tranquility, and saith with Otway : 
 
 Oh, for a long, long sleep, and so forget it !' 
 
 "Thus Socrates reasoned, it may be, when he raised to his lips the 
 chalice of oblivion, and quaffed his deadly hemlock. 
 
 I HAVE thought on this wise, from reading the numerous in- 
 stances of suicide that have occurred in our country within the 
 year. But alas ! the majority of the cases were perpetrated by 
 those to whom even death itself could afford neither refuge nor 
 remedy ; to whom eternity could have seemed in prospect but a 
 perpetuity of horror ; and with whom the thought of futurity was 
 but the prolonging of guilty principles and ever-during remorse, 
 those dark and gloomy curtains that invest forever the chambers 
 of the soul. 
 
 It is worth observing, that the majority of suicides occur 
 among men. Indeed, when I inspect the annals of crime, I have 
 no great partiality for my own sex. Who fill our prisons ? Men. 
 Who throng our criminal courts, to receive the public smitings 
 that fall from the arm of Justice ? Principally men. Who is it 
 that may be said to grow sick the oftenest of life, and so rush 
 into the world of spirits ? Mostly men. Who are uncompunc- 
 tious in pulling the fatal trigger, or assaulting the jugular with 
 shining steel ? Men men ! Can any one deny this ? I trow 
 not. There is a reason for it, too. Woman, in her worst estate, 
 is purer than man in his worst. Sensibilities, which are worn 
 away among men, in their intercourse with the world, linger and 
 play about her heart, even when the fountain of virtue in her 
 bosom has been turned to bitter and polluted waters. The lin- 
 gering principle of human affection sometimes warms her cheek 
 and bedews her eye, even when the holiness of rectitude has be- 
 come a forgotten quality, and a hateful thing. The divinity 
 within the earliest gift of Heaven continues to reflect itself 
 upon the face from the soul, until at last the faint image of good- 
 ness becomes imperceptible ; and the brazen front of shameless 
 vice has lost the beauty of its morning, and the image of its GOD. 
 
 The crimes of women, when they do commit crime, arise 
 from some tender source at first, which gradually hardens into 
 desperate wickedness. It is long before she surrenders herself 
 to the suggestions of vice : 
 
 ' But when she falls, she falls like Lucifer, 
 Never to rise again/
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 87 
 
 The true being and end of womankind is love ; and from this, 
 if I may so speak, all their sorrows, if they pervert that holy and 
 heavenly passion, directly proceed. I reverence the principle of 
 love in woman. It seems, indeed, the atmosphere in which she 
 lives, and moves, and has her being. The arms and wings of 
 her spirit seem ever reaching and panting to clasp to her bosom, 
 and brood over, some object of human affection. In the smile of 
 her lip, in the glance of her eye, in the soft and bewildering 
 melody of her voice, we find but the semblances and echoes of 
 the Spirit of Love. She delights to minister to our comfort ; to 
 invest our pathway with the roses of delicate enjoyment ; to lend 
 sunshine to the hearth, and repose to the evening hour. I have 
 never thought upon the gentle and unobtrusive influence of wo- 
 man, without feelings of the deepest admiration. She seldom 
 hates. When she is wronged, she is forgiving ; when destroyed, 
 she still turns with an eye of earnest regret to that paradise of 
 innocence from which her passions have driven her; and in soli- 
 tude, by day or at evening, ' she waters her cheek in tears with- 
 out measure.' 
 
 In woman, all that is sacred and lovely seems to meet, as in 
 its natural centre. Do we look for self-denial ? See the devoted 
 wife. For resolute affection, struggling through countless trials? 
 Behold the lover. For that overflowing fulness of fond idolatry 
 which gives to things of earth a devotion like that which should 
 ascend to GOD ? Behold the mother, at the cradle of her infant, 
 or pillowing its drowsy eyelid on her bosom ; supremely blest to 
 see its fair cheek rise and fall upon the white and heaving orb, 
 where it finds nourishment and rest ! This is woman ; always 
 loving ; always beloved. Well may the poet strike his lyre in 
 her praise ; well may the warrior rush to the battle-field for her 
 smile ; well may the student trim his lamp to kindle her passion- 
 ate heart, or warm her dainty imagination : she deserves them 
 all. Last at the cross and earliest at the grave of the SAVIOUR, 
 she teaches to those who have lived since His sufferings, the 
 inestimable virtue of constant affection. I love to see her by the 
 couch of sickness ; sustaining the fainting head ; offering to the 
 parched lip its cordial, to the craving palate its simple nour- 
 ishment ; treading with noiseless assiduity around the solemn 
 curtains, and complying with the wish of the invalid when he 
 says : 
 
 ' LET me not have this gloomy view 
 About my room, about my bed; 
 But blooming roses, wet with dew, 
 To cool my burning brow instead :'
 
 S3 OLLAFODIANA. 
 
 disposing the sunlight upon the pale forehead, hathing the hair 
 with ointments, and letting in upon it from the summer casement 
 the sweet breath of Heaven ! How lovely are such exhibitions 
 of ever-during constancy and faith ! how they appeal to the 
 soul ! like the lover in the Canticles, whose fingers, when she 
 rose to open the door to her beloved, dropped ' with sweet smel- 
 ling myrrh upon the handles of the lock !' No man of sensi- 
 bility, I take it, after battling with the perplexities of the out-door 
 world, but retires with a feeling of refreshment to his happy fire- 
 side : he hears with joy the lisp of the cherub urchin that climbs 
 upon his knee, to tell him some wonderful tale about nothing, or 
 feels with delight the soft breath of some young daughter, whose 
 downy, peach-like cheek is glowing close to his own. I am. 
 neither a husband nor a father ; but I can easily fancy the feel- 
 ing of supreme pleasure which either must experience. Let us 
 survey the world of business : what go we ' out for to see ?' 
 The reed of ambition, shaken by the breath of the multitude ; 
 cold-hearted traders and brokers, traffickers and overreachers, 
 anxious each to circumvent his fellow, and turn to his own purse 
 the golden tide in which all would dabble. Look at the homes 
 of most of these. There the wife waits for her husband ; and 
 while she feels that anxiety for his presence which may be called 
 the hunger of the heart, she feeds her spirit with the memory 
 of his smile ; or perhaps looks with fondness upon the pledges 
 of his affection, as they stand like olive-branches round about 
 bis table. 
 
 Reader, on my honor I do not wish to be prosy ; and as I 
 have no one to advertise me on that point, I must trust my own 
 judgment. Ollapod sometimes elongates a subsection ; but he 
 shortens others. So I must e'en discourse more upon this theme 
 of woman ; for I have some events which I wish to interweave 
 herein ; events that cast no particular credit upon the scurvy 
 gender to which I belong. 
 
 I say all this in behalf of woman, however, with a mental 
 reservation, which I will promulge anon. At present, I leave 
 essay for narrative. 
 
 A FEW days ago, as I was taking my accustomed morning's 
 walk, in a mild October morning, in the suburbs of the city 
 whereof I am a denizen, I found myself, on a sudden, in the 
 open country. The melancholy landscapes of Autumn stretched 
 around ; and the bright hues which had characterized the season 
 were beginning to disappear. Nothing disturbed my meditations, 
 except the passage of some early market man or woman, hieing
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 81> 
 
 with their little world of cares and hens to the mart of the town. 
 I wandered unconsciously onward, until I discovered that I was, 
 as it were, in the midst of a crowd, fronting a low, time-worn 
 tenement. A few vehicles were drawn up around it, and seeing 
 a medical friend whom I knew, I inquired the cause of the 
 assembly. He informed me that a young girl had committed 
 suicide, and was then lying dead in an upper apartment. Moved 
 with sorrowful curiosity, I complied with his request to enter. In 
 one apartment were several females, in tears and distress ; in 
 another, the witnesses, and members of the coroner's jury. As- 
 cending a staircase, I found myself in the presence of the Dead ; 
 of One, who, before the first dark day of nothingness had swept 
 the lines of beauty from her features, was lying on a pallet of 
 straw, pale in dissolution. The sight was mournful and solemn. 
 Her face had lingering about it all the features of beauty : its 
 ensign was still floating above the voiceless lip, and the deep- 
 sealed eye. Heavy masses of rich auburn hair lay in waves on 
 each side of her snowy temples ; a faint hue lingered about the 
 cheeks ; but the foamy and purple lips indicated how violent 
 was the death she had died. By the bed-side lay a half-eaten 
 apple, and a large rhomboid of corrosive sublimate. Particles 
 of this deadly poison were still upon the fruit.. Thus the life- 
 weary taker had ended her days. I looked out upon the gloomy 
 waste of country over which she had gazed her last, at twilight, 
 the evening before, and tried to realize what must have been the 
 depth of agony which possessed her spirit then. How must her 
 bruised heart have throbbed with misery! how dark must have 
 been her soul! like that of the Medea of Euripides, when she 
 prepared the deadly garments for her rival, and dedicated to 
 death the children of her womb. Thoughts of the cause now 
 agitated my mind. She had confided, and been betrayed. Cru- 
 elty and abuse had been her lot ; but amidst all she had been 
 constant and devoted. Her hands were clasped as if in prayer ; 
 and the potent poison had overcome her system ere she could 
 disunite them. 
 
 There are moments when the mysteries of eternity throng so 
 rapidly upon our imagination, that we live years of contempla- 
 tion in their little round. This was the case with me. There 
 lay the prostrate form of one whose only crime had been, that 
 she had loved, not wisely, but too well ; one who, stung to the 
 heart by the destroyer of her peace, had determined to lay down 
 her aching head and sorrowful bosom in the rest of the grave. 
 
 As I stood gazing at the lifeless object before me interrupted 
 only by the pitying ejaculations of the few that were present, or
 
 90 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 the sobs of those who were below I was requested by the sur- 
 geon in attendance, as a personal favor, to go in his private car- 
 riage to the house of the father of the deceased, and apprize him 
 of the fatal occurrence, of which he was still ignorant. Receiv- 
 ing my directions, I went. I drove up to a handsome dwelling 
 in a distant street, and was ushered by a servant into a beautiful 
 drawing-room, where a glowing fire was burning in the grate. 
 Every thing around betokened ease and plenty, if not opulence. 
 The folding-doors of the parlor soon opened, and the warm air 
 from an adjoining elegant apartment came in from another fire. 
 
 The father stood before me. He was a respectable looking 
 person, but bore about him the marks of violent passions, and an 
 indomitable will. ;^ 3 
 
 It was by slow and painful degrees that I communicated to him 
 the horrid death of his child. When I had unburthened my mind 
 and heart, he seemed to stand like a statue of marble for a mo- 
 ment ; then, sinking upon an ottoman, he gave way to the agony 
 of his soul. His chest heaved with his deep-drawn sighs, his lip 
 faltered, and tears, stern tears, * like the first drops of a thunder- 
 shower,' came to his eye. 
 
 I saw him stand, a few moments after, by the corpse of his 
 daughter. Words cannot describe the scene. 
 
 THE history of her sorrows and fate may be briefly told. Her 
 father had emigrated, with a lovely and engaging wife, from a 
 foreign country. She was their first-born ; beloved idolized. 
 When brothers and sisters were growing up with and around her, 
 she was the favored of them all. 
 
 At last, her mother died. She was just budding into woman- 
 hood, when this sad event took place. After the funeral rites, 
 she found that she was destined to fill her mother's place, so far 
 as the guardianship and care of her young brothers and sisters 
 were concerned. She knew the stern disposition and headstrong 
 passions of her parent, and she strove to the utmost to meet his 
 wishes and oblige his will. Soon, however, his demeanor began 
 to change. He insisted that she was unable to perform the du- 
 ties required, and a house-keeper was procured one, it seems, 
 not dissimilar to the celebrated Original mentioned by Byron. 
 She was overbearing and vulgar. By degrees, the daughter 
 perceived too surely, that her mother's place was filled to the ut- 
 most, in all its relations, by a dishonest and unholy woman. 
 She suffered in silence ; she blushed at her own degradation, 
 through the recklessness of her parent, but she breathed not a 
 word. At last her silence was imputed to insubordinate anger ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 91 
 
 she was pronounced incorrigible, and driven from her father's 
 house an outcast. 
 
 Hitherto she had been worthy and innocent. But evil exam- 
 ples, and a just filial anger, fired her soul. She sought the house 
 of a friend, a close intimate of her mother's, where she lived as 
 an assistant in the lighter and more elegant duties of a house- 
 hold. By degrees, her beauty attracted the attention of a youth, 
 the son of her protectress. She loved ; she was beset with 
 solemn vows, and an unbroken train of temptations ; until, finally, 
 she was betrayed ; and unable to battle against her own remorse, 
 and the thousand shames that rained on her defenceless head, 
 she sought the drug and the grave ! 
 
 Now that for which I do somewhat abate my admiration ot 
 women, is this. They condemn all derelictions from duty, with- 
 out discrimination. In a case like the present, they make no 
 distinction ; they see the bruised heart sink into the dust, with 
 scarce an expression of regret, and hear the report that a sister 
 spirit has rushed, unanointed and unannealed, into the presence 
 of its GOD, without one throb of pity. Why this inexorable 
 judgment ? Why this absence of extenuating reasons ? Why 
 is it, with them, that 
 
 ' Every wo a tear can claim, 
 
 Except an erring sister's shame ?' 
 
 I pretend not to tell ; but if their opinions are severe, what 
 shall be said of those fiends in human form, who poison the foun- 
 tains of virtue in the innocent bosom ; whose lips breathe the 
 black lie, and the broken vow ? Is there a punishment too great 
 to be inflicted upon the villain who approaches the fair fabric of 
 virtue only to leave it in ruin and desolation ? Is hell too much ? 
 No ! To repay the love which one has himself awakened with 
 disgrace and scorn ; to drive the spirit one has polluted, into the 
 presence of that CREATOR from whom it came bright and unsul- 
 lied ; what guilt can be greater, in all the annals of crime ? 
 
 My heart burns with indignation, as I dwell on the theme. 
 How many a very wretch, among the youth of our cities, is dash- 
 ing in the beau monde, whose true place is the penitentiary ; 
 whose only relief from its walls, is the prodigal love of some vio- 
 lated virgin, who has suffered long and is kind ! These are 
 solemn, but almost interdicted truths. There are some whom / 
 know, of this detestable class ; men who will bow, and sentimen- 
 talize, and flourish at soirees and assemblies, at operas and thea- 
 tres, who have valiantly spent years of their worthless and spend- 
 thrift lives, in daily and nightly endeavors to compass the di-
 
 92 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 honor of some lowly and lovely One, whom ' nature made weak, 
 trusting her defence to man's generosity ;' whose happiness was 
 the end and aim of loving parents, and whose brow her dishonor 
 has laid in the tomb ! 
 
 Let me not be understood as the apologist of guilt. I rever- 
 ence the sweetness and majesty of virtue, but 1 love the sway of 
 justice. I would warn the tender sex against the easy prejudice 
 which leads them to visit the sins of the voluptuous offender of 
 the moral law upon the victim whom only years of systematic 
 villany could bring within his toils ; who makes the holiest pas- 
 sion subservient to the establishment of the unholiest ; until at 
 the last, honor, conscience, hope, all that was worth possessing, 
 is banished from that breast which he found pure, and left cor- 
 rupted and in shame. 
 
 TALKING of shame : I wonder if a young woman ever made 
 a better defence of her lover than did Juliet for Romeo, before 
 that garrulous old nurse of hers : 
 
 NURSE. Shame come to Romeo ! 
 J ULIKT. Blistered be thy tongue 
 
 For uttering that word ! Upon his brow 
 
 Shame is ashamed to sit. 
 
 It is a throne where Honor should be crowned 
 
 Sole monarch of the universal earth. 
 
 I admire that glorious play of Shakspeare's. It abounds with 
 such gushes of heavenly tenderness such delicate expressions, 
 such delicious passages, that I revel in its perusal. It is a 
 thing to read at Summer twilight, or at the close of a soft, mild 
 day in Autumn. True, I would not much affect the hearing of 
 it from the lips of your rouged and periwig' d players ; but it is 
 sweet to read. I doubt whether there is more excellent music in 
 any composition, more melliffluous and touching, than the fol- 
 lowing lines. Just note, dear reader, how the rich liquids melt 
 and mingle with each other ; especially in the lines I have itali- 
 cised: 
 
 JULIET. Wilt thou begone ? It is not yet near day : 
 It was tfie nightingale, and not the lark, 
 That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear: 
 Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree : 
 Believe me, love, it was the nightingale. 
 
 ROMEO. It was the lark, the herald of the morn, 
 
 No nightingale : look, love, what envious streaks 
 Do lace the severing clouds, in yonder East: 
 Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day 
 Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain-tops : 
 I must be gone and live or stay, and die.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 93 
 
 I know nothing in the range of English composition, except 
 two or three verses in Gray's Elegy, superior in harmony to 
 these. America, however, puts in her claim. It has been re- 
 served for a bard of this republic some inglorious Milton of 
 the West to approach the divine original. Reader, elevate 
 thine ear and listen. The verse now to be quoted, is from a love- 
 letter, indited by a youth who was recently indicted for a breach 
 of the marriage promise, and mulcted in many shekels. Thus 
 he vents his plaint, and spell of wo : 
 
 'DON'T you hear yanders tirkle dove 
 
 A-raorning upon yanders tree ? 
 
 It is a-morning for its true love, - 
 
 So do I morn to be with thee !' 
 
 There is said to be ' a coincidence in great minds ;' and really 
 these last quoted verses would seem to prove it. Juliet and her 
 Romeo speak of the lark and nightingale ; our bard changes 
 those sweet fowls to the ' tirkle-dove,' and causes it to roar you 
 gently, as if it were yet unweaned. But we will let him go. 
 
 IT is strange what a wonderful power we have in every one of 
 our senses to awaken associations ! The taste of some well- 
 flavored apple, such as I used to eat in other days, will open 
 upon me a whole volume of boyhood. Sometimes, too, there 
 are tones in a flute, deftly discoursed upon, that arouse within 
 my spirit a thousand recollections. They convoy me back to 
 better times, and I find myself hiding with my young playmates 
 among the ripe strawberries of the meadow, listening the while 
 to the ' sweet divisions' of the bob-o'lincoln, as it sang in the air ! 
 Little paroxysms of puerility such moments are ; but I would 
 not exchange them for the plaudits of the multitude, or the voice 
 of revelry. Something I had then about my heart some light 
 aerial influence which has since been lost among the hollow 
 pageantries of the world. I admire that song of Hood's, in 
 which, while recapitulating the memories of his boyhood, he 
 .says: 
 
 4 1 REMEMBER, I remember 
 
 The pine trees, dark and high ; 
 I used to think their slender tops 
 
 Were close against the sky ; 
 It was a childish ignorance 
 
 But now 'tis little joy 
 To know I'm farther off from Heaven 
 Than when I was a boy !' 
 
 In truth, if one wishes to preserve the true wisdom of nature, 
 he must keep about him the childhood of his soul. That was a
 
 94 OLLAFODIANA. 
 
 pleasant feature in the character of Chief Justice Marshall. I 
 have seen it related of him, that, not many years before his death, 
 he used to be found in the neighborhood of Richmond, Virginia, 
 with his coat off, playing at quoits with the youth of that region. 
 He lacked no wisdom ; but he knew what was good for the spirit, 
 and had a relish for fun. 
 
 APROPOS of fun : there are many who wish to be grave and 
 dignified without the 'power of face!' I knew a little bandy- 
 legged comedian once, who, finding his profession insufficient for 
 his wants turned undertaker. Here was a change ! He carried 
 into his new business his old merry smirk, and the roguish 
 twinkle of his eye ; insomuch that when patrons called to get his 
 hearse, or a coffin, he seemed evermore laughing at their sorrows. 
 He finally gave up his fresh calling in despair. He said his 
 cursed facetious mug would be the ruin of him, in any serious 
 vocation. He has now betaken himself to the art and mystery 
 of tailoring, in which he hopes to thrive. Perhaps he may j but 
 he has taken a wrong course for it ; because 
 
 His speculative skill 
 Is hasty credit and a distant bill ; 
 
 two most dubious specimens of enterprise. 
 
 BY-THE-BY how ambitious students do make this class of 
 artisans suffer ! I remember a fellow, Bob Edwards by name, 
 whom all the scholars loved, and all the landlords hated, who 
 used to patronize these thread-and-needle citizens, until he nearly 
 ruined several of them. He was an adroit rascal, yet one of the 
 funniest, gleesome dogs alive. He once founded in the institu- 
 tion a train of soirees, called ' Baked-Potato-Parties,' and right 
 pleasant ones they were ; for all the appurtenances of wine, but- 
 ter, bread, and everything good, were smuggled by * Dust and 
 Ashes' to grace the feast. These revels occurred every other 
 night, among the students of the different halls. One afternoon, 
 when it came Edwards' turn to play the host, it chanced to be a 
 dismal day ; there was a fine, drizzling rain coming down upon 
 the damp and heavy snow. He determined, to cheer his spirits, 
 after recitations, to anticipate the evening's glee, with one or two 
 boon companions. Accordingly he despatched to my apartment 
 the following : 
 
 'VKKO ILLUSTR1SSIMO JOHANNO OLLAPODIO: 
 
 'SALUTEM! 
 
 ' VENE meo cubiculo hoc post meridiem quartern horam vel dirnidium 
 boras post. Hoc est damnatus dies pluvialis, et habeo ceruleos diabolos, 
 similis Tartaro.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 95 
 
 'Forsitan possumus habere conversationem plenum jocunditatis, et 
 superfusam optimorum jocorum si inclinationem habis ire indivisum Por- 
 culum, vel elevare Antiquum Henriqum, in hanc viam, Sperabo videre 
 zneutn excellentissimum amicuin Ollapodianum, horam ante scriptam. 
 
 Pax Vobiscum. 
 1 Die Jamiarii, vigessimo secundo, anno Cliristi, ) 
 
 millessinw, octingessimo, vigesimo secundo.' $ ' ROBERTUS.' 
 
 In compliance with this mysterious and classical summons, I 
 repaired speedily to Edwards' apartment. He had made ample 
 preparations for his ' party ;' but he was desirous to exceed the 
 usual hilarity of the occasion. I found him surrounded with 
 good things. A basket of grape champaigne in one corner ; in 
 another, a bushel of potatoes, poured out upon the floor ; a 
 bake-pan in the midst, and a glorious flame in his fire-place. In 
 our anticipatory proceedings, we became exceedingly jolly ; so 
 much so, indeed, that I forgot entirely how the time passed when 
 I should have been at my ordinary supper with the fellows of my 
 mess, at our boarding-house. By-and-by, the members of the 
 party began to arrive ; and the apartment was soon crowded al- 
 most to suffocation. But the wassail had scarcely begun. The 
 ' boys' continued to crowd in ; until at last there was a perfect 
 jam. A pretty girl from our quarters had been engaged to act 
 as general attendant, and she was never treated with more respect- 
 ful deference than on that memorable evening. 
 
 At last, the time came to ' serve up.' The baked potatoes 
 with all their luxurious condiments, were dished; and when our 
 repast was finished, we were dished. Few, indeed, of our large 
 symposium could tell his elbow from his chin, or any other por- 
 tion of his anatomical system. We became obstreperous. As 
 Charles Lamb says, ' There was too much fun.' By degrees, 
 however, we came partially to ourselves, and I happened to re- 
 member that there was a ball in the neighborhood, to which 
 nearly all of us had been invited. An old sleigh was procured ; 
 we ferreted out four horses, and a negro named Apollo, to drive 
 them ; and off we started in high glee, on our saltatory enterprise. 
 
 I hastened to my room, when our plan was decided, and hur- 
 riedly completed my wardrobe. We embarked en masse in the 
 sleigh and how we went! In a shorter time than I can des- 
 cribe, we were at the festive resort. We heard, as we were rig- 
 ging, the music from the hall. 
 
 WE entered Jove knows how. I remember being struck 
 with the gay appearance of the ball-room, and the large assem- 
 blage of pretty girls. I stepped up to one the daughter of a 
 Judge, and a member of Congress. She was one of your
 
 96 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 plump, rosy-faced creatures, buxom and pleasing. ' She was a 
 being of loveliness ; nature had compressed and concentrated in 
 her dumpy form, the attractions of a dozen. Her face was 
 bright and expressive her figure, of course, was perfect O, 
 quite so !* 
 
 To this damsel I addressed myself, and solicited her hand in 
 the dance. She assented ; and with my brain reeling with fan- 
 cies of wine and women, I really thought, foi the moment, that 
 she * did me proud.' I flourished my 'kerchief, restored it to my 
 pocket, and proceeded to encase my digits in gloves. 
 
 THE dance was beginning, I took my place, and drew my 
 silk gants hastily over my hands. The black fiddler had stamped 
 we were near the head and there was no time to be lost. I 
 * seized my partner,' as commanded by the sable Apollo, and 
 went ahead. When we reached the bottom of the row for it 
 was a country dance I was all in a glow; and drawing my 
 mouchoir from my pocket, essayed to mop my perspiring temples. 
 As I did so, I was partially 'ware of a general snicker through 
 the room. What could it be for ? I looked around ; every one 
 looked at me. I looked down then at my hands. The sight 
 was quite enough. For a handkerchief, I had flourished a com- 
 mon dickey, the strings whereof fell to my feet long as the 
 moral law. For gloves, I had selected from my trunk a pair of 
 short silk pump-hose, * well saved' by numerous emendations that 
 had been required by sundry previous scrapes ; all these I had 
 displayed on and in my hands, before the multitude ! 
 
 Words are but poor types of my chagrin. One haw-buck 
 dancer a fellow whom I caught in several vulgar attempts to 
 achieve a * pigeon-wing' came up to me with an impudent air, 
 and thus right eloquent, said : 
 
 * Mister, I think them gloves o' your'n must be so'th'in rather 
 new. Dare say the're fresh from 'York. They are darned good, 
 any how ; any body can see that.' 
 
 * I say,' yelled another biped of the same genius, ' is that the 
 last go for han'ker'chers ? They can't steal them, can they, with 
 strings to 'em. That's a right smart contrivance.' 
 
 THERE are some matters of the Past, upon which I do not 
 look back with any special complacency and this is one. 
 
 But ' the longest night,' as well as the longest day, ' maun ha* 
 an end.' I was too jovial to comprehend exactly the ridiculous- 
 ness of my whereabout in the ball-room ; but its memory accom- 
 panied my head-ache the next morning most vividly.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 97 
 
 The worst of the affair, however setting aside all the desa- 
 gremens of creeping through our cold halls to bed somewhere 
 about three in the morning had not yet come. Edwards' 
 beautiful Latin letter to me had been dropped in the great hall, 
 and some officious puppy, who disliked either him or me, had 
 conveyed it to the president. No man ever showered a more 
 humiliating lecture upon another, than did that worthy function- 
 ary impart to Edwards, before all the members of the institution, 
 after morning prayers. He inveighed against his insubordination, 
 his profanity, and his general looseness of character, in terms 
 altogether too harsh, and quite disproportioned to his offence. 
 
 Edwards was cut to the quick, and he determined to have 
 some kind of satisfaction. He sent for me at noon to come to 
 his room. I found him boiling, over his grate, a kind of olla- 
 yodrida, composed of mashed potatoes, tar, and brimstone. His 
 eye twinkled as he pointed to the ' mess of pottage.' 
 
 ' Slab and good, isn't it ?' said he laughing. 
 
 ' What in the name of wonder,' replied I, ' are you going to 
 do with that stuff?' 
 
 'Never you mind, my boy nous verrons. I am going to 
 make a pair of gloves for a friend of mine.' 
 
 I could get no other clue to his intentions. All that he requir- 
 ed of me was to help him carry the kettle at midnight to an ad- 
 jacent creek, and to keep dark on the subject. 
 
 I promised for Edwards could always persuade me to any- 
 thing and I kept my promise. 
 
 The next morning the president came down from his room, in 
 the second hall, (to which he always ascended for a few moments 
 after coming from his home), slipping his hands along the banis- 
 ters, as his manner was, and entered the chapel. As he closed 
 the door, his hand stuck to the knob thereof. He pulled it 
 away with gentle violence ; and looking at his dexter, found it 
 begrimed and black, with a specious of sombrous gray pudding. 
 His brow flushed with anger, as he ascended to his desk on the 
 rostrum. 
 
 * Students !' he said, lifting both his hands in a mock-heroic 
 attitude, ' I have been the object of some one's narrow spite. 
 The bannisters leading to the second hall have been covered with 
 an adhesive and unclean substance, the component parts of which 
 I could not analytically recognise on a cursory inspection, but 
 which are doubtless unsavory and displeasing to the last degree. 
 This mingled substance, composition, or compost, has been 
 placed there, as an insult to me. I ask, earnestly, who is it that 
 has done this thing?' 
 
 7
 
 98 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 No one answered, but a subdued titter ran through the chapel. 
 
 ' I ask,' he repeated, ' who is the author of this outrage ? Who 
 had a hand in it ?' 
 
 ' Please, Sir, nobody knows,' said one Tom Hines, a friend 
 of Edwards; 'but it is thought, Mr. President, that you have 
 had the greatest hand in it. It certainly appears so !' 
 
 * Silence, impertinent youth !' said the president, loftily waving 
 his dingy hand ; ' your conjectures are needless. I shall leave 
 no stone unturned to ferret out this mystery. Let us pray.' 
 
 This, however, was the last of the marvel. I kept Edwards' 
 counsel; the kettle was under the ice and his room told no 
 secrets. The wisdom of our noble principal never fathomed the 
 wonder which so troubled him. The interpretation of it was 
 never made known. If he is yet alive, and this sketch should 
 meet his eye, he may find a clue to the ' occulted guilt' of Ed- 
 wards. 
 
 WE had a great passion in those days, when we sleighed in 
 the vicinity, for exciting the surprise of the rustic publicans there- 
 about, by what we called lingual embellishments. Edwards set 
 this novelty afloat. I remember a pung-ride one evening to an 
 inn, a few miles distant, (the sign of which, swinging from a pine 
 bough over the door, bore the name of ; The United States 
 Hotel, and North American Mansion House'), where Edwards 
 entered in quest of some sweet potatoes for a supper. It was 
 an esculent much affected by us all. 
 
 ' Landlord !' said he, as he entered, cracking his whip, ' can 
 you enable us, from your culinary stores, to realize the pleasure 
 of a few dulcet murphies, rendered innocuous by igneous martyr- 
 dom?' 
 
 ' I don't know them dishes,' answered Boniface ; ' I'll jest ax 
 my wife.' 
 
 ' Oh, go the unadorned English, Edwards,' cried we all ; ' ask 
 for what we want in the mother tongue.' 
 
 ' Well, here goes ; in other words, landlord, can you bake us 
 some sweet potatoes ?' 
 
 'Oh, sartingly! Walk in the other room walk in walk 
 in,' said the publican, as much relieved as if he had been re- 
 prieved from the gallows for he felt mortified at his want of 
 comprehensive scholarship. 
 
 POOR Edwards ! he died in India. A propensity for voya- 
 ging overcame his soul ; and for years he strayed about the world, 
 iust for the excitement. He closed his pretty law-office, after he
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 99 
 
 had graduated, to go to sea before the mast ; came home in his 
 tarpaulin hat, and with hands hard as stone. On the strands of 
 Asia, Africa, and Europe, he trode ; and finally sunk under a 
 fever on the banks of the Ganges. His cousin, who was his 
 idol, died, as I believe of a broken heart. Many a foreign ship 
 brought letters from him to her hand ; and it was ever his fond 
 hope to return, and, when his wanderings were over, to settle in 
 his native village make her his bride- go gently with her 
 down the declivity of years and ' die at home at last.' 
 
 She never smiled after she heard of his death ; but sank calmly 
 and sweetly to her dreamless repose. 
 
 Poor Emily Egerton ! I admired thee, that thou wast my 
 friend's best friend ; and for his sake, thy beauty pleased me ; 
 and thine eye was brighter, that its sweetest glances were for him. 
 Alas ! for the dust that has fallen upon those lips, once so musi- 
 cal and now so dumb for the smile that Death has broken 
 for the hopes that were buried with thee ! But when such as thou 
 evanish from the world, who shall repine ? . 
 
 I KNOW thou hast gone to the place of thy rest 
 
 Then why should ray soul be so sad ? 
 I know thou hast gone where the weary are blest, 
 
 And the mourner looks up, and is glad ; 
 Where Love hath left off, in the land of its birth, 
 
 All the stains it hath gathered in this ; 
 And Hope, the sweet singer that gladdened the earth, 
 
 Lies asleep on the bosom of Bliss. 
 
 NUMBER NINE. 
 
 January, 1837. 
 
 READER do you skate? Have you ever enjoyed the ex- 
 ulting sense of standing upon some wide, ice-bound river, having 
 your loins girded about, and your feet shod with the preparation 
 of that pleasant pastime ? If not, then hath the culture of your 
 understanding been greviously neglected. With me skating is a 
 passion. When the winter air is mild and bracing when there 
 are no clouds about the zenith, but a few quiet, golden ones, 
 hanging like a rich curtain all around the horizon then to step 
 with your glittering heel upon an expanse of congelated crystal, 
 and outstrip the wind there is rapture in it. It is the quintes- 
 sence of life and ' free moral agency.' You can go where you 
 list, and as you list ; fast or slow ; gliding or shooting over the 
 area where youiare disporting, until it is with lines ' both centric
 
 100 OLLAPODIAXA. 
 
 and eccentric scribbled o'er,' and you feel that you have done 
 wonders. I love to push onward in a straight line, or to wheel in 
 curious circumgyrations ; forming parallels and circles on my 
 bright high-dutchers ; leaving droves behind, and feeling at my 
 heart the fiery glow of the skater's ambition ; until the city, with 
 its spires and flags flouting the sky, disappears in the distance. 
 There is nothing like it, for it is, next to a sleigh-ride, the very 
 soul of existence. Nature to me is very beautiful in winter. 
 How pure is the air ! What loveliness, surpassing even the 
 spring-time, rests on the landscape ! The hills, rising pale and 
 blue afar; the vales and plains, dotted with farm-yards, where 
 the herds are huddled ' in their cotes secure,' and the yellow 
 straw or green hay marks the place of their pleased imprison- 
 ment. From the barn, you hear the hollow-sounding flail of the 
 thresher; from the street, near and far, the cheerful jingle of 
 bells ; and all around you, when you gain some eminence, you 
 behold the shining lakes and mountains, bright as silver in the 
 beams of the sun ! Then again, winter is so perfectly salubrious. 
 Sanctified and enshrined in its atmosphere, ' the dog, the horse, 
 the rat,' though never so defunct, are inoffensive for months ; 
 whereas, in the solstice, they would directly fill your nostril with 
 indignation, and demand prompt exequies. I say I like winter, 
 and I care not who knows it. He that differs from me, may go 
 his ways. His taste mislikes me. 
 
 Charles Kemble is probably one of the best skaters in the 
 world. Jehu ! how he used to * go it' on the Schuylkill, until 
 he seemed, not an aged, wig-ensconced man, in lean and slipper- 
 ed pantaloon, but a creature of the elements, endowed with the 
 power of out-chasing the very lightnings of heaven. His ele- 
 mentary instruction began on the Serpentine, in London ; it was 
 completed in Germany ; and he now stands before the world, ac- 
 counted a superior skater oh, very much so ! But he is very 
 in Macbeth. 
 
 WINTER gives energy to everything. A full city, in sleighing- 
 time, is a perfect carnival. Whew ! how the cutters, pungs, and 
 fours-in-hand, sweep over the pave ! How the bells tintinnabu- 
 late ! Woman looks sweeter then, than ever. The demoiselle 
 in her boa, with her mufF and fur-shoes, presents a picture of 
 warmth and comfort, that you can not too much admire. At this 
 season perhaps in this I am peculiar 'high mountains are a 
 feeling. 5 How I should like to have been with Napoleon, when 
 he crossed those wintry Alps ! to have shared in the excitement 
 the danger the triumph ! Never, in all bj brilliant career,
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 101 
 
 did he perform an act more sublime and powerful, in my eyes. 
 This alone, had he achieved nothing more, would have stamped 
 him the greatest Captain of his age. 
 
 APROPOS of Napoleon. I remember hearing from somebody, 
 or reading in some book, or pamphlet, or newspaper bear with 
 me, kind reader, in this incertitude, for I have forgotten all the 
 particulars an anecdote of him that seems to me worth pre- 
 serving, or, perhaps, I should rather say, rescuing, from the 
 oblivion to which it is rapidly hastening. It finely illustrates one 
 portion of his infinitely-diversified character ; and I marvel that 
 it has escaped the notice or the researches of all his biographers, 
 eulogists, critics, and censors. I must be forgiven, if, in recal- 
 ling it, I should be guilty of a lapse from historical o.ccuracy ; I 
 am a sad bungler at dates, and my library boasts not a ' Chro- 
 nology.' 
 
 Thus ran the tale. One of the detenus, whom the abrupt re- 
 sumption of hostilities after the short peace of Tilsit, was it ? 
 found a wanderer upon the French soil, for his greater misfor- 
 tune, was an Englishman of large fortune, and some rank above 
 that of a mere private gentleman ; but whether knight, baron, or 
 baronet, is more than I can remember. He was a widower, with 
 an only child, a daughter. He had become personally known to 
 the Emperor, when First Consul, and a certain degree of friend- 
 ship had sprung up between them. This friendship was in some 
 sort renewed, when the Englishman became an involuntary resi- 
 dent of the French capital ; the rigors of detention and surveil- 
 lance were much softened in his behalf, and he was often a par- 
 taker of the Emperor's hospitality ; not, indeed, at the formal 
 levees and soirees of the palace, but in private and familiar visits, 
 of which Napoleon was fond, and to the enjoyment of which he 
 appropriated as much of his time as could be spared from the im- 
 mense number and magnitude of his burdensome imperial occu- 
 pations. The Englishman was discreet, and the monarch con- 
 descending ; their tete-a-tetes were, therefore, not infrequent, and 
 both parties seemed to take pleasure in their repetition. 
 
 The child of the Englishman had been placed at a school in 
 one of the provincial towns ; but he solicited and obtained from 
 his imperial friend permission for her to join him in Paris. He 
 received intelligence of her setting out, accompanied by a faith- 
 ful domestic ; but days passed away, and she came not to lighten 
 his solitude. His anxiety and alarm gained strength, day after 
 day, until at length they drove him almost to phrensy. He im- 
 plored leave to proceed in search of her, and it was granted ; but
 
 102 OLLAPODIAXA. 
 
 the search proved unavailing. He was enabled to trace her some 
 distance on her journey to the capital, hut at a certain point, all 
 indications disappeared, and he was driven to the miserable con- 
 viction that, in some mysterious and unaccountable manner, she 
 had perished. He returned to Paris, almost heart-broken. 
 
 The morning after his arrival, he was astonished by a sudden 
 visit from an officer, at the head of a body of gens-d'armes, who 
 arrested him in the name of the Emperor. His first emotion 
 was astonishment, his second indignation ; and this was not a 
 little heightened, when the officer, with an unusual degree of 
 harshness and brusquerie, announced to him that he was accused 
 of conspiring against the life of the Emperor, and that he was to 
 be confined, en secret, until the day of his trial before a military 
 commission. 
 
 His temper was naturally quick and ardent, and it vented it- 
 self in reproaches, exclamations, and perhaps a few oaths ; but 
 as they were uttered in English, they seemed to produce no effect 
 on the officer. He was placed in a carriage, the blinds were 
 drawn, and the horses started at full speed. 
 
 After riding some distance, but in what direction the prisoner 
 could not determine, by reason of the closeness of the vehicle, it 
 stopped suddenly, a bandage was drawn over his eyes, and he 
 was led into some building ; but whether the Conciergerie, or the 
 Bicetre, he could only conjecture. After traversing various pas- 
 sages, in silence, but brooding over his wrongs, and almost burst- 
 ing with indignation, his progress was arrested, the blind was re- 
 moved from his eyes, and he found himself in presence of his 
 friend, the Emperor. His first glance conveyed mere wonder ; 
 but those which followed it, were glowing with anger, which in- 
 creased at every moment. The brow of Napoleon wore a gloomy 
 frown, but the heart of the Englishman was too full of wrath to 
 quail even before that fearful sign ; it was but reflected from his 
 own bold front. ' Tyrant !' he exclaimed, but before he could 
 add another word, a door was flung open, and his blooming child 
 bounded, all life and loveliness, into his arms. Amazement and 
 happiness made him dumb ; and Napoleon, smiling as none but 
 him could smile, turned to leave the room, with the single re- 
 mark : ' Joy and surprise would have turned your brain ; it was 
 better to prepare you for the shock, by rousing you to anger.' 
 
 The surpassing skill of Fouche's myrmidons had been called 
 into employment by the Emperor's command, and had succeeded 
 in discovering the child ; but how, or where, I have forgotten. 
 
 POOR NAPOLEON ! I can never think of his brilliant career, 
 and desolate end, without feeling the sublimity of Massillon's
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 -ejaculation over the dead body of his monarch, as it lay in state 
 before him, in the church of Notre Dame. ' GOD alone is great. '* 
 He commissions Death, with his cold shaft, and the mighty are 
 fallen. The cemetery is sublimer than the battle, or the corona- 
 tion. There speaks a power which is beyond all others ; there, 
 in the rustling grass, or whisper of the cypress, we hear the 
 knell of nations, and the prophecy of that to which they all must 
 come to dust and silence! I am tempted, here, to transcribe 
 one of the noblest poems ever written in our language. It may 
 be familiar to some of my readers, but it is worth a hundred pe- 
 rusals ; while to those who have never seen it, I convey a trea- 
 sure and a talisman a memento mori. The author, Herbert 
 Knowles, wrote it at twilight, in the churchyard of Richmond, 
 England. Shortly afterward, ' he died and was buried in the 
 flower of his manhood, 
 
 THE DEAD. 
 
 ' METHINKS it is good to be here : if thou wilt, let us build three tabernacles ; one 
 for thee, one for Moses, and one for Elias.' THE BIBLE. 
 
 METHINKS it is good to be here : 
 If thou wilt, let us build but for whom ? 
 
 Nor Elias nor Moses appear ; 
 
 But the shadows of evening encompass with gloom 
 The abode of the Dead, and the place of the tomb. 
 
 Shall we build to Ambition ? Ah no ! 
 Affrighted, he shrinketh away ; 
 
 For see, they would pin him below, 
 In a dark narrow cave, and begirt with cold clay, 
 To the meanest of reptiles a peer and a prey 
 
 To Beauty ? Ah no ! she forgets 
 The charm that she wielded before ; 
 
 Nor knows the foul worm, that he frets 
 The skin that but yesterday fools could adore, 
 For the smoothness it held, or the tint that it wore. \ 
 
 Shall we build to the purple of Pride 
 To the trappings that dizen the proud ? 
 
 Alas ! they are all laid aside ; 
 For here 's neither wealth nor adornment allow'd, 
 Save the long winding sheet, and the fringe of the shroud. 
 
 Unto Riches ? Alas ! 'tis in vain ; 
 Who here in their turns have been hid, 
 
 Their wealth is all squandered again ; 
 And here in the grave are all metals forbid, 
 Save the tinsel that shines on the dark coffin-lid. 
 
 To the pleasures that Mirth can afford ? 
 The revel the laugh and the jeer? 
 Ah ! here is a plentiful board ;
 
 104 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 But the guests are all mute as their pitiful cheer, 
 And none but the worm is a reveller here. 
 
 Shall we build to Affection and Love ? 
 Ah no ! they have withered and died, 
 
 Or flown with the spirit above ; 
 Friends, brothers, and sisters, are laid side by side, 
 Yet none have saluted, and none have replied. 
 
 Unto Sorrow ? The dead cannot grieve ; 
 Not a sob, nor a sigh, meets mine ear, 
 
 Which compassion itself could relieve ; 
 Ah sweetly they slumber, nor love, hope, nor fear 
 Peace, peace is the watch-word the only one here.. 
 
 Unto Death, to whom monarchs must bow ? 
 Ah, no ! for his empire is known 
 
 And here there are trophies enow ; 
 Beneath the cold head, and around the dark stone, 
 Are the signs of a sceptre that none may disown. 
 
 The first tabernacle to Hope we will build, 
 And look for the sleepers around us to rise : 
 
 The second to Faith, which insures it fulfilled, 
 And the third to the Lamb of the great Sacrifice, 
 Who bequeathed us them both, when he rose to the skies ! 
 
 SOME one of our countrymen has written : ' I never shun a 
 grave-yard. The thoughtful melancholy it inspires, is grateful 
 rather than displeasing to me.' Here we differ. I do shun it ; 
 and I hope a good Providence will keep me out of one for a 
 long time. I desire not a freehold in any such premises. I like 
 the liberal air, the golden sunshine, the excursive thought ; and 
 I pray Heaven to detain me long from that ancient receptacle, 
 where my kinsmen are inurned. Give me the vital principle be- 
 low the sun ; and though I cannot be astonishingly useful to my 
 fellow beings, or carve my name, just now, high on the records 
 of fame, I can at least enjoy the luxury of fancy, feeling, and 
 respiration to say nothing of the pleasing enjoyment of dream- 
 ing, which is in itself worth a dukedom and the rapture of 
 eye-sight. I love not your sackcloth misanthrope, whose whole 
 life is darkened by the fear of its inevitable close, and em- 
 bittered in the mazes of metaphysics. 
 
 SPEAKING of metaphysics, reminds me of Bob Edwards. 
 Reader, thou art already acquainted with Bob ; thou hast had a 
 touch of his quality in the potato line, and hast borne him com- 
 pany in sundry expeditions from the sacred groves of Academus ; 
 thou hast seen, that, by deeds of valiant daring, he had built up 
 for himself a fame which extended far beyond the terrestrial
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 105 
 
 limits that were allowed us for the exercise of our corporeal func- 
 tions, by the individual who instructed the youthful creatures of 
 our imaginations in the use of fire-arms, or, in the language of 
 the immortal poet, 
 
 ' Taught our young ideas how to shoot.' 
 
 He was the plague of the farmers, the glory of the jollifiers, the 
 terror of the mothers, and the passion of the daughters, ' all 
 over the world, for thirty miles round.' 
 
 He was an uncommon youth, was Bob O, quite so ! 
 
 Bob had a philosophical turn of mind, and was looked up to 
 by his satellites with unspeakable reverence. By tacit consent, 
 he was vested with an appellate jurisdiction in the little common 
 wealth. He sat in judgment upon all questions of law or equity, 
 arising between its juvenile members. He delivered his opinion 
 like the Oracle of Delphos, and his decrees were final. 
 
 It was winter ; the length of the evenings were remarkable for 
 the time of year, the frigidity of the circumambient atmosphere 
 was very considerable. A thought smote Bob. 
 
 He called his associates together, he made a speech, in which, 
 with all the alternate fire and pathos of his Heaven-born elo- 
 quence, he described the trying position in which the severity of 
 the weather had placed them. He spoke of the physical enjoy- 
 ments of the human race as empty vanities, which an all-wise 
 Providence, for his own good purpose, had qualified with pains 
 and penalties. He adverted, in melting terms, to the uncommon 
 scarcity of game, by which, for a time, they were debarred from 
 the dignified and soul-ennobling pursuit of hunting foxes. He 
 went on to observe, that the improvement of the intellectual 
 faculties was one of the first duties of man ; and after enlarging 
 with great talent upon this incontrovertible position, he proposed 
 to his auditors that they should organize a society for the discus- 
 sion of subjects involving questions of abstract science. (By 
 the way, there are plenty of such discussions and societies now- 
 a-days, of which cui bono should be the motto, but whereof I 
 would not for a ton of gold be supposed to speak lightly. Oh, 
 by no means !) He proceeded to explain his views at length, 
 and his purpose having been received with a unanimous appro- 
 val, the constitution was signed, the officers were elected, and 
 Bob was placed in the Presidential chair of 
 
 THE METAPHYSICAL SOCIETY. 
 
 And now, reader, Bob was in his glory. Many were the dis- 
 cussions held by that erudite body, and numerous were the eluci-
 
 106 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 dations of the scientific mysteries which had baffled the mightiest 
 intellects of past ages. I do especially remember me of one dis- 
 cussion in which our venerated President himself largely partici- 
 pated. It was deemed of much interest to the cause oflearning, 
 that the debates of the society should be preserved on record ; 
 wherefore, the office of Grand Stenographer had been instituted, 
 into which responsible station I had been sworn, with great 
 solemnity, a short time previous to the period to which I refer. 
 
 It had been determined to hold a grand debate upon a question 
 of grave importance. The President's proclamation had gone 
 forth,, with an imposing aspect. Three gigantic hand-bills were 
 indited by his private secretary. One of these was fastened with 
 ten-penny nails upon the portal of the Interniculum Frumenti, 
 (as the corn-crib was classically denominated ;) a second on the 
 vestibulem of the Temple of the muses, (or, as it was termed by 
 the common people, the Pig-pen,) and the third was emblazoned 
 on the academic- Stabulum. 
 
 I subjoin a true copy of the document, taken from the records 
 of the Society. 
 
 'SOCII SOCIETATIS MET APH Y SICvE . 
 
 4 Convocabunt in aedibus Academiae C SB, dimidium horse post septi- 
 mum, die Jovis, vigesimo Januarii. 
 
 ' Orationis argumentum est maximi moment!, quia involvit casus scientiae, 
 antea nunquam agitates. 
 
 ' Quamobrem, nos, Praefectus hujus Societatis eruditae, per hoc manda- 
 mus omnibus sociis, fautoribus Melaphysicarum, congregare accurate aedi- 
 bus ante dictis. 
 
 'Questio quge proponitur argumento, utsequitur: An chimera, bombin- 
 &ns in vacua, devorat secundus intentiones.\ 
 
 'In hac re, nusquam aberramini, sub poena sexdecim caudarum gallorum. 
 
 ' HOBERTUS EDWARDUS, Prees.' 
 
 Such was the manifesto of President Bob ; and it may not be 
 improper to annex, for the benefit of the general reader, a true 
 rendition into the vernacular, of the question on which the Meta- 
 physical Society was to exercise its intellectual energies. 
 
 This, then, was the subject of discussion : ' Whether a chimera, 
 ruminating in a vacuum, devoureth second intentions.' 
 
 The erudite reader can not fail to perceive the importance of 
 the occasion, and its tendency to create an irrepressible interest 
 in the republic of letters. I pass over the various speculations 
 on the subject which had agitated the philosophical world pre- 
 vious to the assembling of this august body ; and, deeming that 
 the preceding remarks sufficiently introduce the main object, I 
 plunge at once, in medias res. 
 
 On the twentieth day of January, in the year of grace one
 
 OLLAPODIANA. . 107 
 
 thousand eight hundred and twenty-six, a grand meeting of the 
 Metaphysical Society of C was held in the academic build- 
 ings of that ilk. At thirty minutes and seventeen seconds past 
 seven o'clock, post meridiem, the great door of the ante-room 
 was thrown open, and the President, supported on the right by 
 the chief Curator, Jehoikirn Smilax, and on the left by the Cen- 
 sor-general, Eliphalet Flunk, entered the hall, with a dignified 
 step. 
 
 The members rose in respectful silence, and the President, ac- 
 knowledging their salutations with gracious condescension, passed 
 on to his official seat. The attendant officers sat in their respec- 
 tive places, on either side of the Presidential chair, and the 
 Grand Stenographer, JOHN OLLAPOD, surrounded by the insig- 
 nia of his station, occupied his accustomed conspicuous position. 
 
 The hall, which was of large dimensions, was brilliantly illu- 
 minated with five dipt candles, of a superior quality, tastefully 
 arranged in porter bottles, of a sea-green hue. The whole scene 
 presented an imposing aspect, and was calculated to inspire the 
 beholder with feelings of solemnity and awe. 
 
 My space will not permit me to extract from the records the 
 whole of the President's address, which followed an unbroken 
 silence of three minutes, one quarter, and some odd seconds. I 
 subjoin only these observations : 
 
 4 MY BRETHREN : You are assembled to give to a subject which has here- 
 tofore confounded the wisdom of man, the infallible test of your delibera- 
 tions. The eyes of all Europe are upon you ; and you occupy an altitude 
 before both hemispheres, calculated to call forth your undivided energies. 
 Comment from me were useless. 
 
 4 Now, therefore, brethren, invoking the aid of our blessed Minerva to 
 your righteous endeavors, 1 quaff this smaller, otherwise called cock-tail, to 
 the victory of truth, and the downfall of error.' 
 
 He spake, and taking from the custody of the Grand Treasurer, 
 who was in waiting by his side, a tin cup of considerable capa- 
 bility, he transferred the generous fluid contained therein, to the 
 interior of his abdominal regions. His replenished corpus sank 
 gently into the official receptacle, where, after recovering his 
 natural equilibrium, he signified to the brethren his pleasure that 
 the discussion should commence. Whereupon Mr. Elnathan 
 Rummins arose, and thus addressed the assembly : 
 
 4 MR. PRESIDENT : In getting. myself up to discourse to this learned body 
 on the affirmative side of the question submitted to our decision I feel a 
 diffidence commensurate with the stupendousness of the subject. Yet, 
 having bestowed upon it much studious research and attention, I feel impe- 
 riously bound to express it as my decided opinion, that a chimera, rumina- 
 ting in a vacuum, does devour second intentions. I will briefly submit my 
 reasons.
 
 108 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 ' Firstly : I will take leave to premise, that after serious and mature de- 
 liberation, I have brought my mind to the settled belief that Metaphysics is 
 considerable of a science; that all the ideas we have, are derived from two 
 sources, viz : sensation and reflection ; and that the latter is the root from 
 which all abstract ideas are generated. 
 
 ' I am discussing this question, Mr. President, upon the supposition that 
 the doctrine of abstract ideas is fully established. In my mind, it is entirely 
 so, and therefore I shall not argue this disputed point. If my premises are 
 false, my conclusions will collapse, and my learned opponent must benefit by 
 the error. 
 
 ' What is a chimera, in the modern philosophical sense ? Sir, we can de- 
 rive no idea of it from our senses ; the faculty of abstraction must be resort- 
 ed to for a definition ; the mind must be withdrawn from the contemplation 
 of external objects, and wrapping itself in the solitude of its own originali- 
 ty, must frame from its own exclusive resources, an idea of this singular 
 being. 
 
 'But notwithstanding this apparent difficulty, there is, in fact, nothing 
 more easy than a description of this idea. My own reflections have led me 
 to the conclusion, that a chimera is an immaterial, incorporeal, intangible, 
 and invisible essence, having no local habitation, and possessing neither form, 
 extension, nor substance. Thus I may indulge the pleasing hope, that I 
 have, in a very simple manner, conveyed to the Society a clear apprehension 
 of the nature of this abstraction. 
 
 ' From this description, it will be perceived, that a chimera possesses no 
 incarnate attributes, but it is the emanation of a spiritual essence, and there- 
 fore must be eminently endowed with the faculty of thought, or, in other 
 words of rumination. 
 
 ' Having thus briefly pointed out the abstract idea of a chimera, and prov- 
 ed its implied powers of rumination, I proceed, secondly to show that it 
 possesses the undoubted capability of ruminating in a vacuum. To this 
 end, let me very properly show the nature of a vacuum. Little need be 
 said on this subject. 
 
 ' According to some modern philosophers, there are several species of 
 vacua, but the vacuum cacervatum is that to which I particularly refer : this is 
 conceived as a space entirely destitute of matter ; and, in my apprehension, 
 its existence was successfully urged by those illustrious men who professed 
 the Pythagorean, the Epicurean, and the Corpuscularian philosophy ; but as 
 the human mind is composed of discordant principles, the spirit of opposi- 
 tion (for I cannot imagine it to have been anything else) induced the advo- 
 cates of the Cartesian doctrines to deny its existence. They urged, that if 
 there be nothing material in an enclosed space, the walls of the enclosure 
 must be brought into contact ; thus insisting upon the principle, that exten- 
 sion is matter. But the Corpuscular authors, with much promptness, refu- 
 ted the arguments of the Cartesians and Peripatetics, by the existence of 
 various circumstances ; and they instanced planetary and cometary motion, 
 the fall of bodies, the vibration of the pendulum, re-refraction and con- 
 densation, the divisibility of matter, etc. 
 
 ' Now permit me to observe, Mr. President, that it is altogether impossi- 
 ble to effect motion in ^.plenum. I do not wish to make this position depend 
 for support upon my bare assertion ; I am borne out in it by the dictum of 
 Lucretius, thus: 'Prindpium quonam cedendi nulla daret res undique 
 materies quoniam stipatafuisset.' Although I might well rest here, Mr. Pres- 
 ident, upon such mighty authority, I will nevertheless enter upon the proofs 
 which go to the establishing of this principle. 
 
 4 First. All motion is in a straight line, or in a curve which returns into
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 109 
 
 itself, as, for example, the circle and the ellipsis, or in one that does not 
 return into itself, as the parabolic curve. Second: that the moving force 
 must always be greater than the resistance. Now it is perfectly clear from 
 ihis, that no quantum of force, even though increased ad infinitum, can 
 produce motion, where the resistance is also infinite ; consequently, it is not 
 possible that motion can exist, either in a straight line, or in a non-returning 
 curve ; because, in either of these cases, the amounts of force and resis- 
 tance would counterbalance each other; that is, they would be infinite. 
 
 ' You will therefore perceive, Mr. President, that there remains only the 
 motion of a revolving curve practicable; and this must either be a revolu- 
 tion upon an axis, or an angular motion round a stationary body ; now both 
 of these would be impossible in an elliptic curve, and consequently, all mo- 
 tions must be in circles geometrically true ; and, the bodies thus revolving 
 must either be spheres, spheroids, or cylinders; otherwise the revolution in a 
 plenum would be altogether impracticable. But, Sir, such figures and mo- 
 tions have no existence in nature ; yet we know, from the evidence of the 
 senses, that motion, in a non-returning curve, does exist; therefore a vacu- 
 um must exist. 
 
 ' Having now shown that a chimera is a creature of the imagination, and 
 that therefore it does not require the inhalation of atmospheric air to sup- 
 port life, and having shown the nature and existence of the vacuum, it is of 
 course evident that a chimera may ruminate in a vacuum. 
 
 ' I proceed, in the next place, to demonstrate, that a chimera thus rumi- 
 nating, does devour second intentions.' 
 
 AT this stage of his speech, Rummins exhibited symptoms of 
 exhaustion, and on motion of Mr. Jeremiah Tomkins, the ques- 
 tion was postponed until the next ensuing meeting. Whenever 
 I feel disposed to make my reader bolt a few solids, among his 
 intellectual edibles, I shall fling in a scrap from the ' Society.' I 
 think I can demonstrate thereby, that a great deal of plausible 
 argument can be used, to demonstrate a small amount of fact, 
 mingled with an immensity of error. Metaphysics, now-a-days, 
 can not be deemed a very dear science. Muddy brains have 
 elucidated it to death. That was not a bad description of the 
 art given by the Scotchman : ' Metaphysics, mon, is where the 
 hearers dinna ken what the speaker is talking anent, and he does 
 na ken himsel';' but the following definition of one of the meta- 
 physical tribe, by my friend Norman Leslie, is perhaps as good 
 a one as can be found : 'Metaphysician : Encountered a Doctor.' 
 
 Is IT not singular, how one thought brings on another ! Now 
 this slight discussion of metaphysics and abstraction, reminds me 
 of a bachelor, an accidental and slight acquaintance of mine, 
 who remains in single blessedness, because, he says, he has al- 
 ways been accustomed, ' e'en from his boyish days,' to look at 
 women in the abstract. Fine eyes he regards merely as filmy 
 globes of water, that shut their coward gates against an atom ;
 
 110 OLLAP.ODIANA. 
 
 lips he deems but horizontal lines of flesh, constituting the aper- 
 ture into which beef, pork, potatoes, and other eatable substances 
 periodically enter. The bloom on the cheek of woman, he con- 
 siders superfluous blood, prophetic of speedy decay ; smiles, in 
 his esteem, are merely the effect of nervous excitement ; and 
 frowns, he thinks, are the proper elucidators of the human heart, 
 especially woman's, which he says has always a small portion of 
 discontent and anxiety predominant therein. Holding such no- 
 tions, he is, of course, somewhat unhappy ; but he dissipates his 
 ennui by a copious reception of vinous fluids ; and is, moreover, 
 a potent eater of oysters. I am half inclined to believe in 
 metempsychosis, and to suppose that the souls of these testaceous 
 articles, if souls they have, ascend him into the brain, and give 
 the impetus to his present opinions. At any rate he is quite a 
 dolt. I always cut him in the street. His reckless life has undone 
 him, as it were. He owes every body ; has been often in jail ; 
 and those who keep his company, are in something such a situa- 
 tion as one would be at sea, in a leaky boat, they must be ever- 
 more 'bailing him out.' I think he has come to his present 
 sentiments in consequence of the treatment he receives ; every 
 body, females especially, considering him a nonentity ; while he 
 looks at them in the abstract. 
 
 TOMORROW will be Christmas. Happy day ! How I envy 
 the young hearts that its advent will cheer ! whose elastic and 
 bounding affections it will revive and strengthen ! Would to 
 heaven I were a millionaire, for to-morrow only ! There should 
 not be a rosy face in the Union that should not be the brighter 
 for*my benefactions. I would distribute presents to every urchin 
 and miss I met ; and that holiest of all pleasures, benevolence, 
 should nestle warmly in my bosom. GOD bless the children ! 
 unsullied by the guileful contacts of the world ; fresh in their 
 feelings, simple in their desires, fervent in their loves, they are 
 the emblems of blessedness and peace. Truly of such is the 
 kingdom of Heaven ; and sweetly did the characteristic meek- 
 ness of our SAVIOUR appear when he said, ' Suffer little children 
 to come unto me !' Would that I were a boy again ! Would 
 that I had my few years to live over again ! I would enjoy the 
 present, as it rolled on the future ; I would revel in the light of 
 sparkling eyes, and the smile of lips, that the grave has closed 
 and sealed for ever ! I would sing, and shout, and fly my kite, 
 and glide down the snowy hill on my little craft, as in days of 
 yore. I would enjoy the spring, as I used once to do ; that 
 pleasant season, as William Lackaday, Esquire, observes in the
 
 OLLAPODIANA. Ill 
 
 play, 'when the balmy breezes is a-blovvin', and the primroses 
 peeps out, and the little birds begins for to sing ;' and I would 
 make it a point to have no enemies. I would do this without 
 being a Joseph Surface, too ; for I hold insincerity to be the 
 most detestable of all the vices for which men go unhung. 
 
 It strikes me that Christmas is not celebrated with such sober- 
 ness and godliness as it was wont to be. People drink more than 
 formerly ; they do not become devout over the deceased turkey, 
 or adolescent hen, that lies in solemn lifelessness before the eater ; 
 but they meet in clubs, and consort with publicans and sinners. 
 If Christmas happeneth toward the close of the week, they ' keep 
 up' the same until Sunday hath gone by ; and it is not until the 
 even-song of the second day of the week ensuing the festival, 
 that they can bring themselves to cease from their wassail ; and 
 even then they do it with much oh! considerable reluctance, 
 exclaiming, as they ruminate bedward, ' Sic transit gloria, Mon- 
 day* 
 
 BEFORE I close with Christmas, let me relate a little story, 
 just now told me, connected in some degree with that glorious 
 holyday. 
 
 Publicans are classed in the New Testament, with sinners, as 
 though there were something demoralizing in the business of 
 keeping open house ; but if the conjunction be not an error of 
 the translators, I know of at least one exception to the rule. The 
 individual is hereby immortalized. 
 
 Some twenty or twenty^ve, or it may be thirty years ago, the 
 landlord of the Bush tavern in Bristol, England, was so far a 
 benevolent man, that on every Christmas-day he used to set an 
 immense table, at which whosoever would was at liberty to sit 
 and replenish his inner man with as much roast beef and plum- 
 pudding as he could dispose of, a privilege of which, it may well 
 be supposed, the poor of that ancient and by no means elegant 
 city were not backward to avail themselves. But the dinner 
 alone, flanked as it was by an ad libitum distribution of stout ale 
 and cider, could not appease the generous propensities of mine 
 host of the Bush ; he was in the habit, also, of giving away a 
 score of guineas, upon the same anniversary, which were be- 
 stowed in small sums of from five shillings to twenty, upon 
 such of the free guests as appeared to stand most in need of 
 something more than a dinner. 
 
 It had been observed for some weeks toward the close of a 
 particular year, which I do not remember, that an elderly person- 
 age, whom nobody knew, was in the habit of stepping into the
 
 112 OLLAPOD1ANA. 
 
 Bush every day, and taking a single glass of brandy-and-water, 
 with which he contrived to dally so long as was requisite for the 
 thorough perusal of a London paper, brought down by the guard 
 of one of the night coaches. A London paper was a great thing 
 at that time, in Bristol. The gentleman was elderly, as I have 
 said ; and moreover, his person and garb, as well as his habits, 
 gave token of poverty. He was thin, and apparently feeble ; his 
 coat was seedy, his hat rusty, his nether habiliments thread-bare, 
 and otherwise betokening long and arduous service ; and his ex- 
 penditure never exceeded the sixpence required to pay for the one 
 glass of brandy-and'-water. Nobody seemed to know him ; and 
 after a few of his daily calls, he came to be recognised by the 
 waiters and landlord, with that happy adaptation of names for 
 which English landlords and waiters are remarkable, as ' The poor 
 gentleman that reads the paper.' 
 
 If any doubts existed as to his poverty, they were dispelled 
 when Christmas-day arrived, and the poor gentleman was seen 
 taking his place at the long table, and demolishing an ample al- 
 lowance of the beef and the pudding, for which there was nothing 
 to pay. ' Poor fellow !' soliloquized the landlord of the Bush ; 
 ' I'm sure he can't afford that sixpence every day for his brandy- 
 and-water ; I must make it up to him again. His measures were 
 accordingly taken ; John the waiter had his instructions ; and 
 when the poor gentleman handed his plate for another slice of 
 the pudding, a guinea was slipped into his hand, with the whis- 
 pered, ' Master's compliments, Sir, and says this \v\\\ do to lay 
 in some winter flannels for the children.' The poor gentleman 
 looked at the coin, and then at the waiter ; then deposited the 
 first in the right hand pocket of his small clothes ; and then drew 
 forth a card which he handed to John, quietly remarking : ' My 
 thanks and compliments to your master, and tell him that if he 
 ever happens to come my way, I hope he'll call upon me.' This 
 was the card : 
 
 THOMAS COUTTS, 
 69 STRAND, 
 
 LONDON. 
 
 The ' poor gentleman' was at Bristol, superintending the erec- 
 tion of some thirty or forty houses, which he was building on 
 speculation. What afterward passed between him and the land- 
 lord of the Bush, is not recorded ; but this much is known, that
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 113 
 
 the said landlord soon after engaged very largely in the coaching 
 business ; that his drafts on Coutts and Co., the great bankers, 
 were always duly honored ; that he was very successful, and be- 
 came one of the richest men in Bristol. And it is farther said, 
 that the identical Christmas guinea is still in the possession of 
 the 'poor gentleman's' widow, her Grace the Duchess of St. 
 Albans. 
 
 AND now, Reader, peace be with you ! This salutation by 
 the hand of me, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER TEN. 
 
 February, 1836. 
 
 THERE is a pensive, melancholy feeling, which overpowers 
 the heart of a resident in a city, when he goes at twilight from 
 the scene of his business and his cares to the fireside of home. 
 As he passes along the crowded thoroughfare, jostled by the 
 hundreds that meet him ; as he looks forward through the un- 
 certain atmosphere, to forms and dwellings dimly descried, by 
 twinkling lamps in the distance, and sees damp walls and streets 
 receding from his footsteps ; he falls into a train of musing. 
 How many deeds does the night bring on ! How many an un- 
 suspected and impatient eye watches the golden sun go down 
 into the glowing bosom of the West ; how many hearts beat high 
 with suspense or disquiet, while the wan twilight deepens into 
 evening, and the stars, one by one, glittering like diamonds 
 through the infinite air, 'set their watch in the sky!' The 
 affianced bride waits for her lover, counting the footsteps that fall 
 upon the pavement, and taxing the discipline of her ready ear 
 with the task of decision whether they be his or no ; the church- 
 goer longs for the bell, whose voice proclaims the hallowed hour 
 of prayer, and lingers in fond solicitude for the moment when the 
 chapel-ward step shall be taken. In unnumbered bosoms are 
 kindled the emotions of praise ; and they are pure and holy. 
 Nothing can exceed the beauty of a truly calm and chastened 
 affection. It is alike lovely when bestowed on GOD or man. 
 The relinquishment of self; the trusting dependence on the Great 
 Power of Nature ; the fond aspirations for better enjoyments ; 
 these are the true solace and hope of mortality. 
 
 For one, I am a deep lover of the ' poetry of heaven.' Deli- 
 cate and perfect indeed is the ' glitterance of the stars.' I love to 
 
 8
 
 114 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 watch their birth in the depths of the evening firmament ; and to 
 see the moon walking in their midst ; the Queen of the Evening, 
 whose blue pathway glitters with the fadeless jewelry of the uni- 
 verse. Some of these glorious spheres spring with their holy 
 lustre upon the sight with the quickness of thought, blessing the 
 eye with their sweet radiance, and almost haunting the ear with 
 that music which seems to echo from that dim period of the past, 
 when the morning stars sang together. When I behold them, 
 devotional feelings possess my heart j and I go back on the wings 
 of memory to the far away scenes of my boyhood. I think 
 again, as I did then, that all created things make melody to their 
 GOD, and, singing as once I sung, I say : 
 
 ASK of the ocean-waves that burst 
 
 In music on the strand, 
 Whose murmurs load the scented breeze 
 
 That fans the Summer land; 
 Why is their harmony abroad, 
 
 Their cadence in the sky 
 That glitters with the smile of GOD 
 
 In mystery on high ? 
 
 Question the cataract's boiling tide, 
 
 Down stooping from above, 
 Why its proud billows, far and wide 
 
 In stormy thunders move ? 
 It is that in their hollow voice 
 
 A tone of praise is given, 
 Which bids the fainting heart rejoice, 
 
 And trust THE MIGHT of Heaven ? 
 
 And ask the tribes whose matin song 
 
 Melts on the dewy air, 
 Why, like a stream that steals along, 
 
 Flow forth their praises there ? 
 Why, when the veil of Eve comes down, 
 
 With all its starry hours, 
 The night-bird's melancholy lay 
 
 Rings from her solemn bowers ? 
 
 It is some might of love within, 
 
 Some impulse from on high, 
 That bids their matin-song begin, 
 
 Or fills the evening sky 
 With gentle echoes all its own ; 
 
 With sounds, that on the ear 
 Fall, like the voice of kindred gone, 
 
 Cut off in Youth's career! 
 
 Ask of the gales that sweep abroad, 
 
 When Sunset's fiery wall 
 Is crowned with many a painted cloud, 
 
 A gorgeous coronal ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 115 
 
 Ask why their wings are trembling then 
 
 O'er Nature's sounding lyre, 
 While the far occidental hills 
 
 Are bathed in golden fire ? 
 
 Oh ! shall the wide world raise the song 
 
 Of peace, and joy, and love, 
 And shall man's heart not bid his tongue 
 
 In voiceful praises move ? 
 Shall the old forest and the wave, 
 
 When suinmon'd by the bre^ze 
 Yield a sweet flow of solem* praise, 
 
 And man have Jess thaw these ? 
 
 No one, I fancy, can regard the wonderful mechanism of the 
 heavens, or the revolutions of this goodly frame the earth, without 
 emotion. I at least cannot. When I behold the moon, coursing 
 her sweet and mysterious way through the azure vault of evening, 
 or the sun, mounting from his golden tabernacle of morning 
 clouds, to smile from the zenith upon a beautiful world, I am 
 filled with wonder and admiration. The coming on of Spring, 
 the advent and departure of Summer, are to me scenes and 
 themes of amazing thought. Then, how solemnly does Autumn 
 come on ; rustling his sallow leaf, and shaking his withered 
 spray, in token that Winter is near ! telling the heart, as Words- 
 worth does the eye, that 
 
 'Summer ebbs; each day that follows, 
 
 Is a reflux from on high, 
 Tending to the darksome hollows, 
 Where the frosts of Winter lie.' 
 
 I VALUE every season as it affords me subjects for reflection. 
 New-Year's day is fruitful of thought. Standing upon the 
 threshold of a cycle, we look forward with questioning eyes into 
 the unknown future, wondering what it may bring to us of weal 
 or wo. Merciful is the cloud that hangs over that untrodden 
 way ; grateful the uncertainly which begirts its uninvestigated 
 span. Methinks it adds a fresher glow to that social communion 
 wherewith we greet the opening year ; that it gives to love a 
 holiness, to friendship a charm. I would that the time-honored 
 custom of Gotham might be extended through the Atlantic cities ; 
 that friends might be gathered together around each other's fire- 
 sides at the morning of the year, there to renew the sweet feel- 
 ings and generous sympathies of life. 
 
 It is the renewal of precious and holy feelings, that makes the 
 new year in New-York so delightful. The citizens bid a truce
 
 116 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 to care ; and the generous principle of friendship comes fully 
 into play. To tell the truth, the custom begins to radiate from 
 the commercial metropolis, and its delights, ' like flower-seeds by 
 the far winds sown,' are already springing up in other towns. I 
 had a taste of them at the commencement of this present year, 
 in the Rectangular City ; enough to convince me that the mode 
 is germinating freely, and will soon abundantly fructify. It fell 
 on the day that I had some dozen friends to visit ; and the em- 
 ployment was truly New-York affair, altogether. One hospi- 
 table household, well known for the kindness of its members, 
 and the regal bounty of its domestic appointments, conducted 
 the matter in veritable Gotham style. On a table which groan- 
 ed if mahogany can groan with its burden, were placed all 
 /sorts of rich edibles, and copious excellences of great variety, 
 in the way of potation. Many were the pleasant-tasted things 
 that reminded me, through the interpretation of the palate, that I 
 might consider myself in New-York ; and as, for the nonce, ' I 
 drained huge draughts of Rhenish down,' I can assure the reader 
 that the American London was ' in my flowing cups freshly re- 
 membered.' Great, however, is the stability of my brain ; and 
 so it was, that I escaped without injury ; though I do religiously 
 believe, that should ' some persons' imbibe thus much of things 
 spiritual and substantial, their footsteps would indicate a know- 
 ledge of the curvilinear zig-zag. 
 
 IT is right wholesome to me, to perceive the effect of the new 
 year, on an old bachelor. His forehead wears less wrinkles then, 
 and that part to which phrenologists assign the organ of benevo- 
 lence, seemeth to bulge, as it were, with a preternatural expan- 
 sion. He becometh frisky ; ' takes much to imbibe,' and thinks 
 seriously of changing his condition. I never knew but one, that 
 the new year could not revivify, and he was a biped whom long 
 years of ' scoundrelizing' had indurated, in the region of the 
 heart, to perfect ossification. The sarcophagus of a mummy, or 
 the flesh of a patriarchal turkey, the cock of his peculiar walk of 
 life, could not be harder. I met him, ' the first of last January 
 was a year? as they say in Brotherly Love. ' Well, Tompkins,' 
 said I, ' your bosom friend Jones has been swept away, within 
 the past year, into the vortex of matrimony.' * Yes,' said he, 
 with some such a grin as Satan may have shed upon Ithuriel in 
 Paradise ; ' yes ; Tom has gone, and I am glad of it. I don't 
 know why I should be, though ; for he never did me any injury !' 
 He sported this remark for a new year's original ; yet, like his 
 wig, I believe it was not natural, but borrowed for the occasion.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 117 
 
 IT is diverting in the extreme to observe the pompous grandil- 
 oquence in the advertisements of the amusement-furnishing pub- 
 lic, about Christmas and New- Year. Sublimity glares from the 
 theatrical hand-bill, and the menagerie affiche. Curiosities, then, 
 have a ' most magnanimous value.' I remember, not long ago, 
 that I desired a lovely lady, a French countess, to accompany 
 me to a Zoological Institute, to behold an American Eagle. I 
 was pleased at the expressed wish which led me to make the in- 
 vitation, and proud of the prospect of showing a living emblem 
 of our country's insignia to one who felt an interest in the sub- 
 ject. The bills of the institute set forth, that ' the grand Colum- 
 bia's Eagle was the monarch of its tribe, measuring an unprece- 
 dented length from the tip of one wing to the other, in full 
 plumage, and vigor.' The countess had never seen but one 
 eagle, in the Jardin des Plantcs at Paris, and that was a small 
 one, and ungrown ; so that her anticipations of novelty were as 
 great as mine. We went, and with interesting expectancy, asked 
 of the president of the institute, who was engaged in the noble 
 pursuit of feeding a sick baboon with little slips of cold pork, to 
 discover to us ' Columbia's eagle.' He marshalled us to the 
 other end of the institute, past the cages of lions, bears, libbards, 
 and other animals among which was a singular quadruped, 
 with six legs to the cage of the eagle. ' There,' he exclaimed, 
 with professional monotony, ' there is the proud bird of our 
 country, that was caught in the West, and has been thought to 
 have killed many animals in his life-time. He was five hours 
 and twenty-three minutes in being put into the cage, so strong 
 was his wings. Look at him clus. He '11 bear inspection. Jist 
 obsarve the keen irish of his eye.' 
 
 An involuntary and hearty laugh from us both, followed the 
 sight, and the announcement. It was a dismal looking bird, 
 about the size of a goodly owl, with a crest-fallen aspect, the 
 feathers of the tail and wings dwindled to a few ragged quills ; 
 and the shivering fowl, standing on one leg, looked with a vacant, 
 spectral eye at his visiters. Nothing could be so perfectly bur- 
 lesque, and we enjoyed it deeply and long. I shall never be de- 
 ceived by show-bills again. 
 
 APROPOS of holidays. To the young and light-hearted, they 
 are what they seem. To those who have passed the purple and 
 flowery boundaries of minority, that ' infancy' of law, they are 
 forbidden gardens of pleasure, whose fruitage is only for the eye. 
 To the adult, it is a season of preparation for the payment of 
 bills or Williams, as they should be more classically denomir
 
 118 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 nated that fall due on or about the first of the year. These 
 absorb his soul. The mercer, the bottler, the manufacturer of 
 those glossy receptacles which environ the chamber of the soul, 
 all such send in their accumulated williams, until the sight thereof 
 astounds the receiver. Forthwith he sets about defraying the 
 same ; and great is his satisfaction when he says eureka ! of their 
 end. I have a ' contemporary,' if he be yet alive, sojourning in 
 foreign lands, who was once visited, about Christmas, by the 
 senior of the firm of ' Wright, Wright and Wiggins, mercers, 
 drapers, and fabricators of good habits.' The elder of the 
 house a fat and burly biped, with a turnip countenance, and 
 nose of extraordinary redness bore to Wilkins his bill. Wil- 
 kins was oblivious. 
 
 ' Can you tell me, my dear Sir, where you have ever seen me 
 before ?' 
 
 'Certainly yes, Sir lean. You are a customer of ours, 
 at street, 27. Here 's your bill.' 
 
 ' Ah so it is : Wright, you are right. But, my dear Sir, 
 there is one trifling circumstance connected with this bill, which 
 makes it a little awkward. I have not the wherewithal to settle 
 it. This is the only obstacle in the way, at present. I do not 
 quote often ; but you will perhaps allow me, on this occasion, to 
 observe, in the language of the cockney to Mathews' cab-driver : 
 * I han't not got no money whatsomdever ; on the contrary, it is 
 quite the rewaase.' Beside, my friend, I have a plan from which 
 I never depart, in the cancelling of my leger-liabilities. I pay 
 my blank-book demands alphabetically. Your firm is Wright, 
 Wright and Wiggins. The plan strikes you, I see, visibly; and 
 its propriety is as clear, seemingly, to you, as the light on a lily, 
 in the spring-time, or the glow on the red side of a bursted 
 peach, in October. The divine thought touches you nearly, and 
 you acquiesce, evidently. Adios, my friend : as soon as I 
 reach your name in my payments, some ten months hence, I will 
 advise you promptly. I say this, with a difficult nerve ; but I 
 trust you twig me decidedly. I mean as I say. Good morn- 
 ing good morning !' 
 
 READER, since I last communed with thee, the despot Sick- 
 ness has held me in subjection. I have had dull days, and weary 
 nights ; but my books have been companions, and I have had, 
 beside, friends and newspapers. I mention this thing, partly to 
 excuse my brevity, and lack of variety, and also as a prelude to 
 this piece of advice : Lend not thy umbrella, nor suffer thou it to 
 be stolen from thee. In this wise, did I procure my indisposi-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 119 
 
 lion. The night was dark, the rains descended ; the floods came, 
 and beat against me; the umbrella was loaned it has never 
 come home. Heaven forgive the borrower ! There are some 
 who do not even borrow this in-rainy-weather-much-to-be-desired- 
 and-requisite article. They steal it, without compunction. I 
 lately heard a man of GOD, at a Wesleyan conventicle, deliver 
 the following speech from the altar : ' I would ad'nounce to the 
 cod'ngregation, that, prebably by mistake, there was left at this 
 house of prayer, this morning, a small cotton umbrella, much 
 damaged by time and tear, and of an exceeding-Zy pale blue 
 color, in the place whereof was taken a very large black silk 
 umbrella, new, and of great beauty. I say, my brethren, it was 
 prebably by mistake, that of these articles, the one was taken and 
 the other left ; though it is a very improper mistake, and should 
 be discountenanced, if possible. Blunders of this sort, brethren 
 and sisters, are getting a leetle too common !.' 
 Pas encore, a present, cher lecteur. 
 
 NUMBER ELEVEN. 
 
 March, 1836. 
 
 GLORIOUS BELLINI ! I have been listening for many pleas- 
 ant evenings past, to the sweet creations of that composer's mind. 
 How sad that he died so young ! Only twenty-eight, when the 
 shroud was wrapped around his bosom, and his tuneless ear laid 
 beneath the coffin-lid ! But the harmonies he conceived, will 
 linger in holy sweetness, while taste shall last ; and many an un- 
 born enthusiast will yet live to bless his name. How touching 
 and beautiful are the tender sentences that drop in melody from 
 the lips of Count Rodolpho, in La Somnambula ! With what a 
 divine diapason do the following words, and the chorus that ac- 
 companies them, fall on the ear ! They are the by-gone thoughts 
 of one who has long been absent from his youthful home, on 
 again finding himself amidst the well known scenes of his dear 
 native village. Filled with melancholy rapture at the sight of 
 that which he has gained, and troubled with recollections of what 
 lie has lost, he exclaims : 
 
 ' SCENES of Beauty ! full well I know ye 
 Many moments of joy I owe ye ; 
 
 Of pleasures banished, 
 
 Of days long vanished ; 
 Oh ! my breast is filled with pain, 
 Finding objects, that still remain, 
 While those days come not again f
 
 120 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 I know not how it is, but that last line haunts my ear contin- 
 ually. Reader, if you are now old, you have once been young ; 
 if young, you know what I mean, when I speak of that Golden 
 Age, our early days. Time, as we pass onward to that outer 
 gate which swings open into eternity, may give us many enjoy- 
 ments, but they are satisfaction merely ; tame, passive satisfac- 
 tion. Troubles fall upon us like a brutum fulmen ; incidents 
 that would stir the young heart to sympathy and sorrow, occur to 
 the middle-aged without notice or distress. How often have I 
 read, with supreme delight, that beautiful poem of Gray's, sug- 
 gested by a survey of his boyhood's school, and the scenes it 
 embraced, at Eton : 
 
 'An! happy hills ah! pleasing shades, 
 
 Ah ! fields, beloved in vain, 
 Where once my careless childhood stray'd, 
 
 A stranger yet to pain ! 
 I feel the gales that from ye blow 
 A momentary bliss bestow, 
 
 As waving fresh their gladsome wing, 
 
 My weary soul they seem to sooth, 
 And redolent of joy and youth, 
 
 To breathe a second Spring.' 
 
 For my own part, I love to renew the memories of my fresher 
 hours, at all times. I am glad to escape from the present to the 
 past ; for we know what we have been in happiness, but not 
 what we shall be. Give me a draft on the great bank of by-gone 
 time, rather than on the future. Truth to say, however, a coun- 
 try life is no scene in which to gain a taste for music. I know 
 this well. The splendid opera, the gay assembly, the intoxi- 
 cating waltz, are there almost unknown. How imperceptibly 
 does our admiration of an opera grow upon us ! Sound after 
 sound, solo after solo, duet after duet, fall upon the ear as if they 
 were trifles ; by-and-by we love them ; they adhere to our 
 thoughts we deem them divine. They associate themselves 
 with early recollections : we think of the golden evening sunlight 
 that played upon the landscapes of youth ; of early affections 
 and hopes ; of the loving ones that are distant the dear ones 
 that have died. Precious in the human soul, is the fountain of 
 remembrance ! 
 
 BUT a taste for music may be carried too far. I hate your 
 singing bore, your man of crotchets and quavers, with big eyes, 
 who is evermore seeking an opportunity to execute his song ; 
 who troubles diners-out for their insincere applause, and mis- 
 taking jest for praise, tunes his throat anew, runs up his voice
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 121 
 
 into the affected falsetto, and discourses ill-timed harmonies, in 
 the tone of 'the eunuch's pipe!' I hate such bipeds, ab into 
 yectore. I dislike, also, discordant associations for music. They 
 are like Thespian societies great afflictions. I omce had a 
 friend a highly respectable youth, of excellent family who 
 acquired a penchant for doing the Roscius, in a small dramatic 
 volunteer company. He did enact many parts, and was some- 
 times vehemently applauded by the free-admission boobies who 
 flocked to such exhibitions. At last he became stage-mad, step- 
 ped incontinently into the buskin, made a western tour, and re- 
 turned to his native city, a legitimate loafer, with all the external 
 credentials of that multitudinous tribe. I encountered him not 
 many months ago, negotiating with the landlord at a hotel, where 
 I called to greet a travelling friend, in the following words : ' I 
 say, publican, mayhap you know me not. I am every inch a 
 king. As Shakspeare says, ' I am myself alone,' and was n't 
 Shakspeare a screamer ? What I wish to say, can be told 
 shortly. ' Much misery can be let on in a few words,' as Mrs. 
 Haller says in the Stranger. I am a little confused just now ; 
 for truth to tell, I have taken a little potation this morning : but 
 though I seem confused, I know you will look it over, from one 
 who is really ' more sinned against than sinning.' What I wish 
 
 to say is this. You know me. I am the son of General , 
 
 a well known, but not a ' greasy citizen.' I wish to make ar- 
 rangements with you for the purchase of a glass of eau de vie, at 
 a liberal credit. I throw myself upon your indulgence, and so- 
 licit straight for the privilege of 'running my face' for the liquor 
 aforesaid. Will you comply? Do for once just for gran- 
 deur.' 
 
 The publican, after complimenting the father of the prodigal, 
 respectfully declined, and the votary of Thespis abdicated. 
 
 SPEAKING of the music which is apt ordinarily to greet one's 
 ears in the country, the tuneful Beattie, in his Minstrel, discour- 
 seth thereupon with most melodious unction. It is indeed sweet, 
 as he avers, to listen to the harmonies of morning, when the sun 
 sits upon the highmost hill of journey ; when the freshness of 
 night mingles with the bland atmosphere of the day ; when the 
 groves are vocal, and the floods clap their hands. But there is 
 much more music in a city, notwithstanding we miss therein 
 that magnificent organ-sound of commingling woods and waters 
 which give their voices to the gale ; that grand and viewless in- 
 strument, whose ventiges are governed by the fingers of the 
 Eternal. The denizen of a metropolis must have indeed a busy
 
 122 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 ear, to devour all the musical discourse with which the air at 
 morning is rife around him. In the town of Brotherly Love 
 I speak to those who know what sounds vibrate upon the tym- 
 panum ! Who has not heard the sable vender of ground corn 
 exclaim : ' Come and buy my ho-mi-ny oh, ye-ep !' or the 
 improvisatore who sells 
 
 ' Brick-dust from Brandywine, 
 Both ni-i-ce and fi-n-ne !' 
 
 Or that peripatetic individual who goeth about with his axe and 
 wedges, keeping time as they strike together, to the sonorous 
 ejaculation : ' Ah 'split-wood !' These are familiar minstrels ; 
 and those who pass them in the street especially if they are 
 interested listen attentively while the speech drops upon them. 
 
 MANY chapters have been written against early rising in cities. 
 I like it much in theory, but it is detestable in practice. In the 
 country, 'tis a joy to rise early. Once, under some casual in- 
 spiration, from this cause, I scribbled thus. Reader, take it for 
 better or for worse : 
 
 STANZAS. 
 
 ' Awake psaltery and harp : I myself will awake early.' 
 
 WAKE, when the mists of the blue mountains sleeping, 
 
 Like crowns of glory in the distance lie ; 
 When breathing from the South, o'er blossoms sweeping, 
 
 The gale bears music through the sunny sky ; 
 While lake and meadow, upland, grove and stream, 
 Smile like the glory of an Eden dream. 
 
 Wake while unfettered thoughts, like treasures springing, 
 
 Bid the heart leap within its prison-cell ; 
 When birds and brooks through the pure air are flinging 
 
 The mellow chant of their beguiling spell; 
 When earliest winds their anthems have begun, 
 And, incense-laden, their sweet journeys run. 
 
 Then, psaltery and harp, a tone awaken, 
 
 Whereto the echoing bosom shall reply, 
 As earth's rich scenes, by shadowy night forsaken, 
 
 Unfold their beauty to the filling eye : 
 When, like the restless breeze, or wild-bird's lay, 
 Pure thoughts, on dove-like pinions, float away. 
 
 Wake thou, too, man, when from refreshing slumber, 
 
 And thy luxurious couch, thou dost arise, 
 Thanks for life's golden gifts a countless number 
 
 Calm dreams, and soaring hopes, and summer skies : 
 Wake ! let thy heart's fine chords be touched in praise, 
 While the pure light of morn around thee plays !
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 123 
 
 BUT much as I love the waking of the morning, I love also its 
 rest. Of all visions, those are loveliest which come upon our 
 imaginations in the morning watch. Already fresh and invigor- 
 ated with rest, the mind revels in its fanciful creations. How 
 many golden cities, and glorious landscapes, and worlds of 
 changeful waters, flecked with green and blue, have I seen in my 
 dreams ! Oh delicious Sleep ! Thou art indeed the world's 
 Spanish cloak, and with thy sister Night, thou wrappest the care- 
 worn bosom in indolent repose. Republican and Democratic 
 Sleep ! Thou hast no predilections for parties. Thou de- 
 scendest as soon upon an old Federalist, as his opponent upon 
 a Mason or an anti-Mason, as upon the tabby that slumbers by 
 the farmer's fire. Thou hast no balm for favorites, save that thy 
 wing is spread the soonest over the brow of the husbandman, and 
 the heart of the weary. Thou art terrible alone to the over-rich 
 and the over-guilty. To the dyspeptic maid, whose nights are 
 spent in the dissipation of parties, and amidst the hot air of 
 crowded assemblies to her thou art a burden. To the young, 
 the gay, the country-born, thou art altogether delightsome. 
 
 THERE is one place where sleep is uncomely namely, in a 
 church. But, dear reader, there are some somniferous men of 
 GOD, whose words fall upon you like so many poppies. Their 
 languid sentences come from the ' ancient nose, all spectacle-be- 
 strid,' with such a drowsy twang, that they are irresistible stupi- 
 fiers. I listened of late to such a one. He never finished a. 
 sentence. ' My friends,' he would say, ' I wish to address you 
 upon the importance of. It is a subject of great importance} 
 and it is one which. When I say that it is subject of importance, 
 I mean to infer that it is important to the individual who. And 
 when that individual declines observing this subject, he has reach- 
 ed that state .of moral turpitude, when. Hence we view, that he 
 becomes associated with those that, on account of the deceitful- 
 ness of the world, are corrupted by /' 
 
 IF you do not doze, reader, over that last sentence, I shall be 
 prepared hereafter to repay your lively spirit with better things. 
 This cold winter has congealed all my better thoughts. I shall 
 thaw into soul and sentiment, when the spring-time comes.
 
 124 OLLAPODIANA, 
 
 NUMBER TWELVE. 
 
 April, 1836. 
 
 I CONCEIVE it a great plague to be one's own hero, and to be 
 the describer in the first person singular of individual adventures. 
 Those two great personages, Says He and Says I, are no par- 
 ticular favorites of mine. They are great draw-backs in these 
 my sketches ; for, reader, I am, at bottom, a modest and retiring 
 man. Therefore should I desire in papers like these, were it 
 right practicable, to sink the personal, and expand into the general. 
 Reflection convinces me, howbeit, that this would not do. What 
 I have to say, or to sketch, would then be without form and void. 
 No ; give me my way ; let me disport as I will, and I warrant 
 me there shall be something in what 1 write, which will warm the 
 heart, or light the eye of him that reads me. 
 
 TALKING of a man's making a hero of himself, reminds me 
 of an old friend of mine, who is fond of telling long stories about 
 fights and quarrels that he has had in his day, and who always 
 makes his hearer his opponent for the time, so as to give effect 
 to what he is saying. Not long ago I met him on 'Change, at a 
 business hour, when all the commercing multitudes of the city 
 were together, and you could scarcely turn, for the people. The 
 old fellow fixed his eye on me ; there was a fatal fascination in 
 it. Getting off without recognition, would have been unpardon- 
 able disrespect. In a moment, his finger was in my button-hole, 
 and his* rheumy optics glittering with the satisfaction of your true 
 bore, when he has met with an unresisting subject. 1 listened to 
 his common-places with the utmost apparent satisfaction. Di- 
 rectly, he began to speak of an altercation which he once had 
 with an officer in the navy. He was relating the particulars. 
 1 Some words,' said he, ' occurred between him and me. Now 
 you know that he is a much younger man than I am ; in fact, 
 about your age. Well, he ' made use of an expression' which I 
 did not exactly like. Says I to him, says I, ' What do you mean 
 by that ?' ' Why,' says he to me, says he, ' I mean just what I 
 say.' Then I began to burn. There was an impromptu eleva- 
 tion of my personal dandriff, which was unaccountable. I 
 didn't waste words on him ; I just took him in this way,' (here 
 the old spooney suited the action to the word, by seizing the collar 
 of my coat, before the assemblage,) ' and says I to him, says I,
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 125 
 
 * You infernal scoundrel, I will punish you for your insolence on 
 the spot!' and the manner in which I shook him (just in this 
 way) was really a warning to a person similarly situated.' 
 
 I felt myself at this moment in a beautiful predicament : in the 
 midst of a large congregation of business people ; an old gray- 
 headed man hanging, with an indignant look, at my coat-collar ; 
 and a host of persons looking on. The old fellow's face grew 
 redder every minute ; but perceiving that he was observed, 
 he lowered his voice in the detail, while he lifted it in the 
 worst places of his colloquy. ' You infernal scoundrel, and 
 caitiff, and villain,' says I, ' what do you mean, to insult an elderly 
 person like myself, in a public place like this ?' and then, said 
 he, lowering his malapropos voice, ' then I shook him, so.' 
 
 Here he pushed me to and fro, with his septuagenarian gripe 
 on my collar, as if instead of a patient, much bored friend, 1 
 was his deadly enemy. When he let go, I found myself in a 
 ring of spectators. ' Shame, shame ! to insult an old man like 
 him !' was the general cry. ' Young puppy !' said an elderly 
 merchant, whose good opinion was my heart's desire, ' what 
 excuse have you for your conduct ?' 
 
 Thus was I made a martyr to my good feelings. I have never 
 recovered from the stigma of that interview. I have been pointed 
 at in the street by persons who have said as I passed them, 
 
 ' That 's the young chap that insulted old General , at 
 
 the Exchange !' 
 
 THIS same venerable gentleman once troubled me with his 
 augur-ies, in the following manner. He accosted me, up town, 
 a mile, I suppose, from the Exchange. ' My good friend,' he 
 said, ' I wish you to go with me to the City Reading Room, and 
 look at a contribution that I have published in one of the news- 
 papers. I dare say it is open to criticism. Mind you, I am not 
 a man of letters. I am doing a snug, winding-up business in my 
 latter days, and I cannot serve two masters.' I accompanied 
 him : he sought out the paper file, and after much research, 
 turned to the following : 
 
 * SHAD. Now landing, several barrels of Shad. The barrels is new, and 
 the shad are fresh. For sale by , No. 85 street.' 
 
 ' Now,' said he, ' will you tell we whether ' barrels is' is right ? 
 Don't you think I ought to have used the subjunctive mood in 
 the future tense, and said ' the barrels are,' and cetera ? I don't 
 feel sure, myself ; I just want your opinion. I know, you know ; 
 but I want to be positive.'
 
 126 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 I elucidated the matter to him as plainly as I could, and left 
 him ; inly resolving, that if ever I saw him approaching me in 
 the street again, I would take to my heels and run like an ex- 
 press to get out of his way. 
 
 I SHOULD like to write a chapter on bores. There are distinct 
 classes of them, and it requires a philosophical mind to furnish 
 proper analyses of the varying genus. The man, for instance, 
 who meets you going to bank, or to dinner, and begins to talk 
 to you of matters and things in general, whereunto you are, for 
 politeness' sake, compelled to listen, what a plague he is, to be 
 sure ! He has no heart. He listens to the loquacity of your 
 diaphragm with perfect composure, though it speak of wants un- 
 satisfied, and viands in expectancy. He holdeth converse with 
 nonentity ; he keepeth you in suspense, by leaving his sentences 
 unfinished ; and he taxeth your imagination with wonder as to 
 what the devil he will have to say next. You go home to a late 
 and cold dinner, with your whole body in a state of grumbling 
 dissatisfaction. You feel as if you could knock down your 
 grandfather. In short, you feel as every man does, when he has 
 been bored. It is an awful sensation. Sea-sickness is pleasure 
 to it. Should I hereafter describe this class, I fear I shall give 
 them a Rembrandt coloring ; for I am confident, from the wrongs 
 they have done me, that I could not speak of them with my 
 customary coolness and impartiality. 
 
 BY-THE-BY, the word impartiality reminds me of a legal 
 biped, who possessed this quality ' to a degree.' Reader, you 
 don't know the Hon. Abednego Babcock, do you ? Taking it 
 for granted that you do not, I will describe him to you. Like 
 "Wouter Van Twiller, he is about five feet six inches high, and 
 six feet five inches in circumference. He potates considerably, 
 and in that way has nursed for himself a nasal organ of most 
 scarlet rubicundity. It is a sign, as I call it, of ' grog manifest 
 in the flesh.' He is a man of many friends among pot-house 
 lawyers and small politicians. He has never been known, I be- 
 lieve, to give a decided opinion on any subject. I once heard 
 him charge a jury something after this fashion : 
 
 ' Gentlemen: This is an action brought by the plaintiff against 
 the defendant. You have heard the evidence on both sides, and 
 the court know of no points of law that you may not be supposed 
 to understand already. The case is a very plain one ; and if, 
 upon a careful review of the testimony, you should think the
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 plaintiff entitled to a verdict, the decision must be in his favor ; 
 but if, on the contrary, it should appear that the defendant ought 
 to be the plaintiff in this suit, you will please bring in a bill to 
 that effect. I believe that is about all that is to be said in the 
 matter. If you can think of any thing else that I ought to say, 
 I have no objection to mention it. It is now my dinner hour. 
 Swear a constable.' 
 
 This was the usual impartiality of Abednego Babcock, Esq. 
 He would sit for hours on the bench, feeling the customary blos- 
 soms on his nose with his affectionate fingers ; an employment 
 which evidently gave him great satisfaction. They do say that 
 whenever a flatulent attorney speaks before him, he drops right 
 to sleep. He says a hundred yards of gab, as he classically 
 calls it, could not change his mind, when he has it made up. 
 He despises every thing high-flown, or, as he sometimes terms 
 it, hypherflutenated ; and thinks that, in nine cases out of ten, 
 a cause can be best decided by hearing only one side. 
 
 APROPOS of the bar. What a deal of bad oratory there is 
 about it ! I have one or two good friends among the lawyers in 
 Gotham who could depict these grandiloquent attorneys to the 
 life. How much verbose pomposity of language, too, do you 
 find in the pulpit, where, of all other places, it is most out of 
 place. A few days ago, I heard an unhewn ' Ambassador from 
 the court of Heaven,' as he credentialized himself, who had 
 taken the far west in his route to the church where I heard him, 
 use the following burst. He was speaking of Judas and Bene- 
 dict Arnold ; worthies whom he compared together. ' Arnold,' 
 said he, ' was a traitor, of whom you may have heard, who tried 
 for to sell his Iced'ntry. It was the ruination of him, and for what 
 he done, he will be rewarded with infamy ; for his name will 
 sertingly go down to the most remotest posterity, kivered all over 
 with Hell's arsenic !' Here he looked round upon his audience 
 with an air of pride, as if he would say, ' There 's a touch for 
 you !' 
 
 SPEAKING of clerical oratory, bids me think of an event I wit- 
 nessed lately in an Episcopal conventicle. The morning service 
 had been said ; the rich tones of the organ were mellowing away 
 into silence, when the speaker arose, and named his text, in these 
 simple words : ' Jesus wept.' He spoke in a strain of touching 
 simplicity ; he painted the sorrows of the SAVIOR at the death 
 of Lazarus ; and he described in beautiful language the propriety
 
 12S OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 of his grief, by enlarging upon that inevitable condition of mor- 
 tality which causes all to grieve. By and by I heard a faint 
 moan. A young and tender-hearted mother, who had but a few 
 weeks before buried a blooming daughter, the darling of her love, 
 overcome by her feelings, had fainted away. But it was no bois- 
 terous or harrowing language, that thus stirred within her the holy 
 fountain of a mother's affection. It was the words of simplicity 
 that fell upon her ear, and trembled in her bosom. The circum- 
 stance revived in my mind the memory of a sermon the off- 
 spring of untutored genius which I heard in early youth. 
 The preacher was an unlettered woodsman, but he spoke with 
 correctness, with eloquence. The occasion was the funeral of a 
 child. The boy, a lad of four or five years old, lay on the bier 
 before him ; His fair cheeks had not lost their rosy red, and his 
 little form, so decently composed in the white garments of the 
 grave, looked far too dainty for the earth to cover. The speaker 
 took his text from the touching story of Gehazi and the Shuna- 
 mite. I forget the place where it is to be found. ' And he said 
 to the mother, Is it well with thee ? Is it well with thy husband ? 
 Is it well with thy child ? And she answered, It is well.' He 
 went on to show his hearers, that in the case before them, it was 
 * well with the child :' and beautifully did he prove it. My heart 
 swells yet, at the mere remembrance of that sermon. ' Mother,' 
 he said, ' do you mourn for the child that has fallen like a blos- 
 som from your arms ? Weep not, for it is well. He has escaped 
 the darkness of earthly sorrow ; the clouds that day by day 
 would have rolled gradually over his spirit ; the crosses of exis- 
 tence ; the gloom that follows after that golden age, ere the life 
 of life begins to fail and fade ; he has missed all these, and in 
 that ' better country,' where his FATHER and our FATHER smiles 
 upon him, his innocent spirit is at rest. Fond mother ! distrust not 
 thy GOD. Lift thy heart-warm prayer to HIM in the night- 
 watches ; and as thou implorest consolation, thou mayest ask thy 
 GOD, ' Is it well with my child ?' and soft as Heavenly num- 
 bers, sweet as the music of an angel's lyre, HE will answer, ' It 
 is well.' 
 
 I HAVE remembered this sermon, fondly and long. The 
 preacher was such a man as William Wirt once described, only 
 he was not blind. He was tall, and of goodly presence, with a 
 venerable snowy head, and an eye that beamed with benignity 
 and good will to men. Upon returning home, with my heart full 
 of the discourse I had heard, I wrote thus :
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 129 
 
 THE EARLY DEAD. 
 
 ' WHY mourn for the Young ? Better that the light cloud should fade away in the 
 morning's breath, than travel through the weary day, to gather in darkness, and end 
 in storm.' BULWER. 
 
 IF it be sad to mark the bow'd with age 
 Sink in the halls of the remorseless tomb, 
 
 Closing the changes of life's pilgrimage 
 
 In the still darkness of its mouldering gloom ; * 
 
 Oh ! what a shadow o'er the heart is flung, 
 
 When peals the requiem of the loved and young ! 
 
 They to whose bosoms, like the dawn of spring 
 
 To the unfolding bud and scented rose, 
 Comes the pure freshness age can never bring, 
 
 And fills the spirit with a rich repose, 
 How shall we lay them in their final rest ; 
 How pile the clods upon their wasting breast ? 
 
 Life openeth brightly to their ardent gaze ; 
 
 A glorious pomp sits on the gorgeous sky ; 
 O'er the broad world Hope's smile incessant plays, 
 
 And scenes of beauty win the enchanted eye ; 
 How sad to break the vision, and to fold 
 Each lifeless form in earth's embracing mould ! 
 
 Yet this is Life ! To mark from day to day, 
 Youth, in the freshness of its morning prime, 
 
 Pass, like the anthem of a breeze away ; 
 
 Sinking in waves of Death, ere chilled by Time! 
 
 Ere yet dark years on the warm cheek had shed 
 
 Autumnal mildew o'er its rose-like red ! 
 
 And yet what mourner, though the pensive eye 
 Be dimly-thoughtful in its burning tears, 
 
 But should with rapture gaze upon the sky, 
 
 Through whose far depths the spirit's wing careers ? 
 
 There gleams eternal o'er their ways are Sung, 
 
 Who fade from earth while yet their years are young ! 
 
 CHILDREN are queer subjects to write about. I know several 
 little friends of mine, that I can never believe will be grown up 
 wrinkled men and women. Will that little beauty become an 
 old woman ? I '11 not believe it. Will that boy, now shooting 
 his marble, or drawing his sled hi winter, will he become a 
 portly-looking man, with a stern temper, a fat abdomen, and a 
 big bunch of watch-keys hanging just beneath his waistcoat ? 
 Will he wear spectacles, and a cane '? It seems impossible, but 
 it must be. There must be an end to every thing ; to youth, to 
 its tastes, and its associations. 
 
 9
 
 130 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 READER, I do not wish to twaddle ; but there can be no harm 
 in announcing to you, that in my meridian the ' spring time of 
 the year is coming.' There is a soft, bland influence in the air, 
 which comes over the spirit like the rush of an angel's wing, fill- 
 ing it with fresh and happy thoughts. I can see the trees from 
 my window, bursting into verdure ; and the thousand voices of 
 the city seem sweeter to my ear. We have had a stormy winter 
 and a long ; and those were horrid North-easters that blew along 
 the Atlantic coast, what time, vexed with our Yankee euroclydon, 
 (and we occasionally get up a passing good one,) ' the sea 
 wrought and was tempestuous.' But now, the winter is over and 
 gone ; the 'flowers appear on the earth ; the time of the singing 
 of the birds is come ; and the voice of the turtle is heard in the 
 land : not the ' torkle upon yander's tree,' of which I made a 
 late quotation from a bard of Pennsylvania ; but those which 
 William and coo, with their beautiful necks, on the house-tops. 
 (I hate the word bill, for many reasons.) The chimney-sweep 
 stays longer in the quiet sunshine on his brick tower ; the spirit 
 of spring is in his brush, and his song is louder. Commend me 
 to Spring. It is the gem of the seasons, beyond dispute. 
 
 TALKING of disputes, sends into my mind the thought of a 
 good-hearted acquaintance, who really thinks that he is immense 
 in controversy. He will overcome you with words, and though 
 they have but little argument in them, yet I have never known a 
 person to commence a colloquy with him who was not ' worsted.' 
 He will go from Dan until thou come to Beersheba, just to com- 
 pass a hard word, which he lugs in as a puzzler. If his oppo- 
 nent tells him he does not know what he means by such words, he 
 will come down upon him with the sweeping conclusion that such 
 ignorance is a proof that he is not a fit antagonist. Lately, he 
 was riding in the stage with a motley collection of passengers, in 
 the interior of a neighboring state. By degrees the party became 
 chatty, and our friend was not backward in the lingual exercise. 
 The conversation turned upon the merits of Christianity and un- 
 belief. There were one or two infidels in the vehicle, who took 
 up the cudgels for their side, with more zeal than truth or discre- 
 tion. They began to circumvent our traveller, when he stopped 
 them short by saying : ' Gentlemen, it is no manner of use for 
 you to attempt an argument with me. I have out-talked many 
 of your way of thinking ; and I may say, that I never met with 
 one yet, who was not glad enough, before I had done with him, 
 to get off by crying copoevi /' He thought this the choice Italian 
 for peccavi. It is needless to say, that after this, by common.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 131 
 
 concession, ' he had the floor.' But bless me ! reader, now I 
 think of it, it is time that there should be an end to the present 
 number of -the lucubrations of your honest friend, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER, THIRTEEN. 
 
 July, 1836. 
 
 MOST people travel a leetle every Summer through these Uni- 
 ted States, in sundry portions and quarters thereof; and yet how 
 very few of those who go down upon the sea in ships, or along 
 the rail-road or the canal, seeing the sublimities and oddities of 
 existence, make any record of them ? Therefore, gentle reader, 
 do I propose to enlighten thee, not with sketches of travel, but 
 with beneficial hints, whereby thy omnipresent whereabout, as 
 thou journeyest, may be regaled. 
 
 WE are passing up the Hudson. The low clouds from a hun- 
 dred steam-boats are staining the sky in the direction of New 
 York, which has long since faded in the distance. The peri- 
 patetic colored man, who summons oblivious passengers to 'the 
 capting's orifice,' to disburse the swindle for their transit, has not 
 yet gone his rounds : there is only the low gurgle of the waves 
 ploughed aside by the bow of the steam-boat ; the half-awakened 
 company are promenading the deck, and the poetically-disposed 
 are looking at the Palisades, whose dark shoulders rise on the 
 west bank of the river, as if those barriers could never be re- 
 moved, even by the voice of the archangel, and the final trump. 
 
 BY-THE-WAY, speaking of the last trumpet, makes me remem- 
 ber the reply of a veteran old charcoal man, of Philadelphia, 
 well known to the citizens thereof for the sonorousness of his tin 
 horn, and the excellence of his commodity. Honest JIMMY 
 CHARCOAL ! he is removed from among the quick, and num- 
 bered with those who have jumped from the shoal of time into 
 kingdom come. He was a cheerful, good-hearted citizen ; and 
 though he certainly did not move in the first circles, yet he spread 
 light and heat wherever he went not by his person, however; 
 for if ever there was a man who looked like a plenipotentiary 
 fresh from the court of Tophet, Jimmy was that individual. 
 Well, as I have said, he had a most vociferous horn, and unre- 
 mitting were the blasts which he protruded through the same upon
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 the general ear. At last, some evil-disposed citizens, having no 
 taste for music, went to his honor the Mayor, and lodged griev- 
 ous complaints against the distinguished hornist, (I use a musical 
 term,) setting forth that he disturbed the public bosom with his 
 soul-stirring instrument. After such an accusation, he was 
 brought before the great municipal functionary, and received a 
 stern and awful reprimand. Jimmy stood the rebuke as if Satan 
 had not only allowed him his own color, but also his courage. 
 His reply was cogent and conclusive : ' Look here, your honor,' 
 said he, ' I ha'nt no disposition, by no means, to complain of 
 them 'ere people as has complained of me. Folks in my line can 
 bear upwards of considerable in the way of epithets, without 
 changing color, or gettin' mad. But I do say, that I axes them as 
 charges me with making too much noise in the world, why they 
 have got up such an antipathy ag'in' my horn ? And I should 
 like to know, if my little tin affair troubles them so now, how 
 they will fed when they come to hear the big trumpet, that is to be 
 blew at the day of judgment ; calling them, just as likely as not, 
 to a coal-hole a mighty sight blacker than the one I come from ?' 
 The Mayor was non-plussed ; and the coal man went twang- 
 ing on his ways. The officer could no more stand his logic than 
 his opponent could his horn. 
 
 BUT I digress. Let us get back to the Hudson. Stop, ye 
 who travel, one day at West Point. That Cozzens gives noble 
 dinners ; his wines are superb ; and the man who likes not crea- 
 ture comforts, is a bad member of society. Go thou likewise to 
 the Cattskill Mountain House, whence you shall look down be- 
 neath the clouds on smiling counties, and towns and cities, spread 
 forth as on a map, at your feet. ; There,' said Natty Bumpo, 
 ' you can see creation ! The Hudson like a ribbon ; the boats 
 and sails on its blue and gleaming breast not much larger than 
 buoys and handkerchiefs. Oh, 'tis a noble scene ! and when 
 the plains beneath are sweltering in the fervors of Summer ; when 
 the snake creeps forth on the rock in the sunshine, and the cattle 
 in a thousand meadows consort together under the trees, to 
 breathe the air that gathers from the sleepy landscape into their 
 branches ; then, at the Mountain House, 't is calm and cool . 
 I say, reader, be sure to go there ; and if it is somewhat too cold 
 in June, it must be nice in July and August. 
 
 MAGNIFICENT are the Cattskills, as seen from the Hudson. 
 How their ' broad highland regions' swell and roll in sublime and 
 solemn undulations against the sky ! How profuse the gushes
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 133 
 
 of glorious sunlight that chase each other along those lordly 
 ridges ! As* the boat glides along, these peaks are sometimes hid 
 from view ; but like great men amid the strifes of parties, or the 
 changes of time, they must almost continually impress us with 
 their presence, and stand like distant guardians of one of the 
 finest rivers in the world, observable, for countless inland leagues, 
 overlooking streams, villages, and the grander Hudson, for hun- 
 dreds of miles. 
 
 ALBANY is a capital city. If you are a quiet person, enam- 
 ored of ease and comfort, go to Cruttenden's, mine host of the 
 Eagle. Most delicious is his coffee ; neatest of the neat are his 
 rooms ; his bread is like snow ; his viands done to a T ; and 
 there is nothing equal to his own personal courtesies. Pleasant 
 things drop continually from his lips, and your ear may drink 
 wisdom and wit from them, ' as the honey-bee drinks from the 
 rose.' He is the best possible sign of the excellence of his own 
 fare. His cheeks are full and healthy, and though his nose is 
 not bedecked with those sumptuous red carbuncles which are 
 usually supposed the insignia of a true Boniface, yet his figure is 
 portly and commanding, and ' his belly is as a round goblet, 
 which wanteth not liquor,' as 'the wise man observes in his Can- 
 ticles. 
 
 LET me not be an out-and-outer, as touching Albany, I would 
 that my praise should be properly modified. The lower, or busi- 
 ness parts of the city, except in the region round about the Eagle, 
 are not particularly attractive ; but in the upper quarters, near the 
 Capitol Square, and along State-street, few towns in our country 
 ' can with it compare.' I know of no place to which, in some 
 respects, could be better applied the lines of Byron : 
 
 FOR whoso entereth within this town, 
 That sheening far, celestial seems to be, 
 Disconsolate will wander up and down, 
 Mid many things unsightly to strange e'e.' 
 
 But ascend you to the dome of the City Hall, in Capital Square, 
 and look forth upon the scene ! It is beautiful ; that's the word. 
 Look at the landscape to the North, heaved up in the glory and 
 grandeur of Summer against the sapphire walls of Heaven ; va- 
 ried with meadows and harvest-fields, and rural mansions ; ob- 
 serve Troy, with its Mount Ida, and the affluent valley of the 
 Hudson ; likewise the distant Cattskills ; also the city beneath, 
 with those numerous ' white swellings,' or domes, of the steeple" 
 genus, which have broken out ambitiously all over the town j
 
 134 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 look at these, and at the whole sweep of Capitol Square, and you 
 shall meet with great rejoicing of eye. But beware of a person 
 whom you may observe in the streets, perambulating about with 
 a basket on his arm, vending the sweet-flag root, and barks of 
 prickly-ash and slippery-elm. The latter, especially, should you 
 partake of it, will cause you to remain a day beyond your time. 
 Wonderfully slippery is that article, indeed ; and you would 
 think, to hear its owner talk, ' in the way of trade,' that his 
 tongue was made of the same material. 
 
 THE route to Schenectady is dullish ; but I advise the reader, 
 if that personage be a male, to take the outside of the car, (by 
 courtesy from the powers that be,) and survey the country round. 
 He will see the eternal Cattskills bounding the horizon for near 
 two-thirds of the way ; rising like pyramids, blue and lofty into 
 Heaven : 
 
 ' Where clouds like earthly barriers stand 
 Or bulwarks of some viewless land.' 
 
 I am discoursing now to the traveller on the Niagara route, 
 and therefore I would fling in a word or two of advice to him. 
 When thou comest to Schenectaday, thou wilt be grievously 
 athirst, if the weather be warm ; but I beseech thee, buy no soda 
 water in Old Esopus. One ' lean apothecary' who dwelleth 
 hereabout, has an apology for the article ; but drink it not ! It 
 is indescribable ; tastes like bad champagne, vinegar, and brim- 
 stone. A tumbler full of the Dead Sea would taste sweeter. 
 Neither be thou tempted by the boys who vend nuts and ap- 
 ples by the packet boat landing. Dishonest, and peddling 
 urchins their commodities are awful! 
 
 THE contrast between the spacious cabins of the Hudson 
 steamers, and the low narrow boats on the canal, even those of 
 the better sort, is unhappily too striking. When you enter the 
 latter, resign yourself to fate. You will find captains or superin- 
 tendents, who verily believe that there are no other places on 
 earth but Schenectady and Utica, and that the rest of creation is 
 of small account. They are stupendous persons, on a small 
 scale. The idea of having some fifty or sixty individuals, by 
 compulsion, in their power every day, gives them a sense of their 
 own importance, which nothing can annul ; and the air of gran- 
 deur with which they help you to a half-boiled potato, or a 
 .stinted radish, would befit princes. But do not offend them. 
 On the contrary, cause them to believe that you suppose them 
 Incomparable j their fare rich beyond description j their charges
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 135 
 
 no swindle ; and that you have no exalted opinion of the new 
 rail-road to be open in August, and destined to carry passengers 
 three times quicker, and you will get the best they have ; they 
 receiving, at the same time, a draft on your eternal gratitude. I 
 do not wish to flatter these varlets ; but I do say, that their bills 
 ought to be made payable in slow notes ; namely, paper, payable, 
 the first instalment when the debtor dies, and the last half when 
 he rises. 
 
 It is rumored that important improvements are in contempla- 
 tion by these great men ; among others, a novel mode of making 
 the public mouth salutary, ' from North to South.' This was 
 suggested by the following circumstance. A captain was helping 
 himself to the tooth-brush of a respectable passenger, who said 
 to him : ' What the devil are you doing with my brush and pow- 
 der ?' ' Why,' said the captain, ' I am using it because I thought 
 it belonged to the boat, and had been furnished by the company, 
 for the use of the passengers /' 
 
 WHEN you come to Utica, do not be in haste to depart. You 
 may kill twenty-four divisions of the common enemy ; nay, forty- 
 eight, very agreeably there. Trenton Falls are not far off; 
 though it matters little whether you see them before you go to 
 Niagara, or on your return. 
 
 But soft ; ' a word or two before you go.' There is a drug- 
 shop, kept by an Italian, near the canal, on the right of Genesee 
 street, as you proceed to the West, where you can obtain soda 
 powders, and eke Seidlitz, of unimpeachable excellence. Buy 
 several boxes. They will serve you well on the road to the 
 Great Falls ; where, dear reader, you shall meet me anon. 
 
 NUMBER FOURTEEN. 
 
 September, 1838. 
 
 OH thou who lookest over this page of mine, who participatest 
 in the 'portance of the travels' history of OLLAPOD, listen to me. 
 Wouldst thou journey with comfort through the west of New 
 York, avoid the canal-boats. At first, when you embark, all 
 seems fair ; the eleemosynary negro, who vexes his clarionet, and 
 governs its tuneful ventiges, to pay for his passage, seems a very- 
 Apollo to y9ur ear ; the appointments of the boat appear ample ; 
 a populous town slowly glides from your view, and you feel quite 
 comfortable and contented. As yet, you have not gone below.
 
 136 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 'Things above' attract your attention some pretty point of 
 landscape, or distant steeple, shining among the summer trees. 
 Anon, the scenery becomes tame, and you descend. A feeling 
 comes over you as you draw your first breath in the cabin, which 
 impels to the holding of your nose. The cabin is full ; you have 
 hit your head twice against the ceiling thereof, and stumbled 
 sundry times against the seats at the side. Babies, vociferous 
 babies, are playing with their mothers' noses, or squalling in 
 appalling concert. If you stir, your foot treads heavily upon the 
 bulbous toes of some recumbent passenger ; if you essay to sleep, 
 the gabble of those around you, or the noisy gurgle of a lock, 
 arouses you to consciousness ; and then, if you are of that large 
 class of persons in whom the old Adam is not entirely crucified, 
 then you swear. Have you any desire for literary entertain- 
 ment ? Approach the table. There shall you find sundry tracts ; 
 a copy o'f the Temperance recorder ; Goldsmith's Animated Na- 
 ture, and Plutarch's Lives. By and by dinner approaches : and 
 oh ! how awful the suspense between the hours of preparation 
 and realization ! Slowly, and one by one, the dishes appear. 
 At long intervals, or spaces of separation from each other say 
 five for the whole length of the boat you behold tumblers ar- 
 ranged, with two forlorn radishes in each. The butter lies like 
 gravy in the plate ; the malodorous passengers of the masculine 
 gender draw nigh to the scanty board ; the captain comes near, 
 to act his oft-repeated part, as President of the day. Oh, 
 gracious ! 'tis a scene of enormous cry and scanty wool. It 
 mendicants description. 
 
 I WAS walking on the deck after dinner ducking my head 
 every moment at the cry of ' Bridge /' when the captain joined 
 me, and began to relate the perils that he had encountered, during 
 his experience on the ' deep waters' over which we were gliding. 
 * It is not for every one,' said he, ' to appreciate the perils of an 
 official station like mine. That little lad who stands beside you, 
 and who, though a stranger to you, seems to have a desire for 
 your company, that urchin, could he stay with me ten years, 
 would be a sailor like me, and could relate like me his hardships. 
 Every year is fruitful of incident. Last year it was in the 
 fall this canawl was visited with a gale? and such a gale ! Do 
 not discredit me, when I say, that, owing to the violence of it, 
 nearly a dozen boats were compelled to hug the shore ; and be- 
 lieve me, too, when I tell you, that for twenty-five minutes this 
 very boat rested upon a sand bank, caused by the entrance of a 
 creek. Judge of my feelings at that awful moment ! I ordered
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 137 
 
 on deck the cook, the steward, and the rest of the crew, together 
 with such passengers as were not sound asleep, insensible of 
 their danger, and with as much coolness as I could command, 
 under the circumstances, I bade them prepare for the worst. 
 Two venerable persons of the female sex-: old women, as one 
 wild young man, whom no danger could appal, denominated 
 them escaped safe to land. Dire terror ruled the hour. The 
 winds blew ; the awful ripples dashed against the prow, as if they 
 were mad ; and on distracted lady rushed about the deck, in- 
 quiring if I had seen her husband, Mr. Smilax Waterhouse. 
 Answering her in the negative, I bent my way to what is vulgarly 
 called the tail end of the boat. What a sight here met my eye ! 
 The two ladies, it is true, had escaped safe to land, but they 
 were in a woful plight one of them having lost her shoe in the 
 water, and the other her night-cap. On horrors' head horrors 
 accumulated ; and I was on the eve of sinking in despair, with 
 no hopes of ever getting off the sand-bar, when deliverance came ! 
 A swell from the lock, a few rods above, lifted us from our fear- 
 ful situation, and restored us to safety and comfort. 
 
 BUT the grand charm and scene of a canal packet is in the 
 evening. If on your way from Schenectady to Utica, the sun 
 goes down into the rosy west, just after you leave that beautiful 
 gorge in the Mohawk mountains, where you see the towering 
 pines on one side, rising precipitously near three hundred feet 
 above you, and on the other, the gentle river, calmly gliding 
 through the vale below forming the only tolerable scene on the 
 route. Well, you go below, and there you behold a hot and 
 motley assemblage. A kind of stillness begins to reign around. 
 It seems as if a protracted meeting were about to commence. 
 Clergymen, capitalists, long-sided merchants, who have come 
 from far, green-horns, taking their first experience of the wonders- 
 of the deep on the cana.wl, all these are huddled together in wild 
 and inexplicable confusion. By and by the captain takes his seat, 
 and the roll of berths is called. Then, what confusion ! Layer 
 upon layer of humanity is suddenly shelved for the night ; and 
 in the preparation, what a world of bustle is required ! Boots 
 are released from a hundred feet, and their owners deposit them 
 wherever they can. There was one man, OLLAPOD beheld him, 
 who pulled off the boots of another person, thinking the while 
 mistaken individual ! that he was disrobing his own shrunken 
 legs of their leathern integuments, so thick were the limbs and 
 feet that steamed and moved round about. Another tourist 
 fat, oily, and round who had bribed the steward for two chairs
 
 138 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 placed by the side of his berth, whereon to rest his abdomen, 
 amused the assembly by calling out ; Here, waiter ! bring me 
 another pillow ! I have got the ear-ache, and have put the first 
 one into my auricular organ !' Thus wore the hours away. 
 Sleep, you can not. Feeble moschetoes, residents in the boat, 
 whose health suffers from the noisome airs they are nightly com- 
 pelled to breathe, do their worst to annoy you ; and then, Phoebus 
 Apollo ! how the sleepers snore ! There is every variety of this 
 music, from the low wheeze of the asthmatic, to the stentorian 
 grunt of the corpulent and profound. Nose after nose lifts up its 
 tuneful oratory, until the place is vocal. Some communicative 
 free-thinkers talk in their sleep, and altogether, they make a con- 
 certo and a diapason equal to that which Milton speaks of, when 
 through the sonorous organ 'from many a row of pipes, the 
 sound-board breathes.' At last, morning dawns ; you ascend 
 into pure air, with hair unkempt, body and spirit unrefreshed, 
 and show yourself -to the people of some populous town into 
 which you are entering, as you wash your face in canal water on 
 deck, from a hand basin ! It is a scene, I say again, take it for 
 all in all, that throws description upon the parish, and makes you 
 a pauper in words. ' Ohejam satis T 
 
 You may meet with much edification on board one of these 
 craft, in observing the working of what is called human nature. 
 At dinner, a sour old bachelor, who had been once a supercargo 
 to Smyrna, and then a merchanj in a small way one who had 
 all the stiff formality of a half-cut gentleman, without the educa- 
 cation or tact necessary for the composition of even such a 
 perscuiage procured from a basket, which he was taking with 
 him on his journey, a bottle of warm champaigne. A country 
 friend, with whom he was accidentally travelling, was solicited to 
 imbibe the vinous beverage with him. This friend was one of 
 those malapropos characters, who, with the best intentions, are 
 always saying something wrong. On renewing his glass, he 
 said : ' Well now, this 'ere tastes like something this arn't like 
 the sour cider we get in the country, is it, any how ?' 
 
 ' I hope you don't mean,' said the fidgetty host, ' that there is 
 anything wrong about it ?' 
 
 ' Oh, not by no means whatsomever. I reckon that it is good. 
 Let me give you a toast. Success to American Manufactures? 
 
 ' Sir,' respondent the ci-devant supercargo, ' what do you 
 mean ? Why do you give that toast, of all others ? I ask you 
 candidly, is this wine like American manufacture ?' 
 
 ' God bless you, neighbor, I didn't mean nothing of that kind ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 139 
 
 and I say, let's drop the subject. Were you ever in NewarkT 
 
 The face of the old fellow assumed the hue of scarlet. Fire 
 stood in his eye. He sat down his glass, and looking daggers at 
 his friend, observed : 
 
 ' I don't know what your object is but you are evidently try- 
 ing to insult me. What has Newark to do with this champaigne ? 
 Do you suppose it is made there ? Sir, your conduct is out- 
 rageous.' 
 
 The countryman sank back against the boat-side, observing 
 that he ' wouldn't never attempt to get up a variety in his con- 
 versation again.' 
 
 THIS reminds me of a scene told of Lockport. A clown 
 there walked up leisurely to the stall of one of those small 
 traders who furnish canal-tourists of limited means with ' wittles 
 and drink,' and just as he was on the point of vending a large 
 lot of sausages to a hungry-looking traveller, which were to last 
 him until his arrival at Buffalo, the vagabond, looking sipi- 
 ciously at the article, and addressing the seller, said : 
 
 ' Is them good sassenges ?' 
 
 'Yes, they are good sausages, you ignorant ramus. You 
 would like to keep me from selling 'em, if you could fix it that 
 way, I don't doubt.' 
 
 ' No I wouldn't,' responded the loafer ; ' I don't know nothing 
 'special about them sassenges ; they may be good sassenges ; I 
 don't say they a'nt good sassenges ; all I do say is, that where- 
 somever you see them kind o' sassenges, you don't see no dogs /' 
 
 ' I guess, on reflection,' said the traveller, ' that I won't nego- 
 tiate for them articles. That man's last remark has gi'n me a 
 dislike to 'em.' 
 
 Is it not pleasant to revisit the scenes of one's early days ? 
 So silently questioned OLLAPOD himself, as he journeyed toward 
 the West, what time the sun was sinking in the Occident, leaving 
 his last rays on those dark forests of pines and cedars which be- 
 gird the lake of Oneida, in the Onondaga country. The ' ex- 
 clusive extra' performed its locomotive office with wonderful 
 rapidity and effect ; the cattle attached thereunto having only the 
 labor of drawing ' wife, self, and servant.' 
 
 Pleasant was it to rise at S , in the morning, and walk 
 
 about, gazing at familiar scenes, unvisited for years. Nature, 
 sweet nature ! was still the same ; and as I journeyed hurriedly 
 round and round, looking upon the pigmy doings of man, com- 
 pared with the scenery fashioned by the hand of GOD, the Spirit
 
 140 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 of the past came by, and fanned me with her fairy wings. A 
 thousand recollections filled my mind as I perambulated, until I 
 chanted, in my trance of memory, a part of a beautiful poem by 
 a native bard : 
 
 ' I STAND upon my native hills again, 
 
 Broad, round, and green, that in the southern sky, 
 With garniture of waving grass and grain, 
 Orchards, and beechen forests, basking lie.' 
 
 How many events come before the mind like the shadow of a 
 dream ! Such was my sojourn in ' the place where I was born.' 
 It was short but sweet. I found my heart filled with teeming re- 
 collections ; everything was new to my eye, but I felt that my 
 bosom was unchanged. I have, and I thank my GOD for the 
 possession, feelings and sensibilities, untainted and unworn. In 
 my spirit, I can still experience that newness of delight which is 
 said to wear off easily by contact with the world. It is not so 
 with me. A poem or a scene ; the lapse of a beautiful river, or 
 the f been of a rich woodland or field ; can yield for my mind the 
 same fruitage of contentment which it felt and relished in other 
 days. For the perpetual presence of this capacity, I am deeply 
 and devoutly thankful. I would not exchange it for worlds. 
 
 ' SWEET AUBURN ! loveliest village of!' and so forth. Every 
 body knows the quotation. Charming were the hours we passed 
 therein, with beloved friends. If I ever felt a political predilec- 
 tion which I never did I could have wished, as we closed 
 
 the embowered gate of our hospitable friend S , and his 
 
 assiduous household, that he had been elected Governor of the 
 Empire State.* Auburn was lovely ; but saving the premises of 
 the above-men Wmed, and a very few of the same character, it 
 has sadly changed from * the olden time.' I say sadly, because 
 I deem that the improvements in tenements and marts of stone, 
 which the town has been garnished withal, are but continuations, 
 as it were, of the State's Prison. However, the least said is the 
 soonest mended. The effect, to the traveller, on entering the 
 place, is certainly pleasing, and indicative of great improvement. 
 A superb hotel y'clept the AMERICAN I love the latter word 
 is there ; and in the scenery round about, there is much to 
 please, and much to see. 
 
 READER, have you ever journeyed in the Genesee country ? 
 
 *TIME and large majorities confirmed this wish, on two subsequent 
 trials. EDITOR.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 141 
 
 If you have not, how much have you lost ! I speak not to those 
 who pass the wonderful works of GOD with unobservant eyes, 
 but I talk to those who find sermons and good in every thing. 
 To such, I would say, ' Surely you were charmed with the 
 Skaneatles, and the region round about Cayuga?' There the 
 country is healthy to live in, and lovely to see. Passing the lake 
 of Cayuga, you can not well omit to notice the peculiar green- 
 ness of the waters. They seem to the eye as if the grassy banks 
 which surround them had been melted, and transfused into liquid 
 emerald. If'you should ever visit Cayuga I speak now to any 
 one who has neglected the western tour hitherto you will per- 
 ceive the truth of this present writing. 
 
 IT is wonderful how all the western towns flourish which pos- 
 sess ' water privileges.' How extraordinary, for example, is the 
 growth of Seneca Falls ! Not long ago, it was a mere hamlet, 
 beside a little stream ; now it is almost a city ; while its whilome 
 more pompous neighbor, Waterloo, seems dwindling to decay, 
 or at least not perfectly kindled with that fire of improvement 
 which generally distinguishes the West. 
 
 ' BEAUTIFUL exceedingly' is the terrestrial vestibule of the 
 Genesee ! As we journeyed westward from the blue distances 
 near the lake of Cayuga toward that pleasant region, I could not 
 but seek to compare in my imagination the country we were 
 nearing, to the country we had left. The first had been charm- 
 ing to our eyes could the remainder exceed it ? The far-ofF 
 uplands, over which the winds from the south-west went freshened 
 from the Cayuga; the green waters, that danced and eddied 
 along the piers of the bridge ; could they be transcended by any 
 thing to Come ? In that predicament of the fancy, ' ignorance 
 was bliss.' We could only say ' Nous verrons,' and watch the 
 flitting landscapes, or the plunge of the wheels of the ' extra,' as 
 they sank, with a heavy gurgle, in the rugged road. 
 
 CAPITAL, and most delectable to see, is the lake of Geneva, 
 and that beautiful gem of a town which crowns its crystal wave, 
 above a strip of emerald verdure, and gardens flowering in the 
 sun of June ! ' How sweet the day beams on those banks re- 
 pose !' As we neared them, toward the going down of the sun, 
 methought I was like the pilgrim of Bunyan, approaching the 
 glorious regions of the land of Beulah, and that I could discern 
 the spirits of the blessed ' walking in white' along its romantic 
 terraces. It seemed ' a fairy city of the heart ;' and for one
 
 142 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 short but delicious moment, I felt overcome with that enthusiasm 
 engendered by the eye within the mind, and deserving that strik- 
 ing observation of Madame de Stael, ' the superfluity of the 
 soul,' thinking the while of PERCIVAL'S noble lines to the 
 Seneca waters : 
 
 1 ON thy fair bosom, silver lake, 
 
 The wild swan spreads his snowy sail, 
 And rotfnd his breast the ripples break, 
 As down he bears before the gale.' 
 
 WHO was that anonymous herald of mine, who recorded be- 
 neath my signature, as we proceeded toward the sunset, at every 
 town where we paused to give breath to our cattle, the name of 
 OLLAPOD, with many compliments in the Latin tongue ? Who- 
 ever he was, I stretch forth to him the hand of fancy. Thou 
 Grand Inconnu ! touch thy dextral digits in thought ; consider 
 thine own vehemently squeezed ; and remain, if thou wilt, the 
 kind Unknown ; at once corporeal and yet spiritual ; a creation 
 insubstantial ; an entity, yet intangible ; ' -umbra, civis, nihil /' 
 
 No OFFENCE to the turnpike company whose duty it is to 
 superintend the roads betwixt Geneva and Canandaigua ; but 
 candor compels me to say, they are a set of negligent varlets, 
 deserving the anathemas of ' all who travel by land or by water,' 
 especially those who abandon the cheating extras, and adopt the 
 Telegraph. What right have these individuals to keep the holes 
 in the turnpike so deep, and yet so treacherous ! One looks out 
 with anxious eye to see what is ' going to come' in the way of 
 thoroughfare, and lo ! distance lends enchantment to the view. 
 The gilded pool seems dry ; the deceitful pudding of clay has a 
 look of solidity; but anon! spush ! down drop the wheels 
 in front ; creak ! rings the tried and doubtful axle ; ' He'ep* ! 
 d nation !' saith the driver ; ' Oh !' says the timid lady within; 
 ' Ha ! ha ! that was a screamer !' ejaculates the western specu- 
 lator, filled to the brim with animal spirits ! ' An oncommon deep 
 'ole !' says the English emigrant ; ' I thank GOD ! we are out !' 
 says the politician ; ' Uh, umph, whe-e-ze !' ejaculates the dozing 
 and uncertain passenger, who has been travelling day and night 
 for a week ; and thus the time goes on, until the day is well-nigh 
 spent, and you see the farewell light of day playing over the sweet 
 waters and Elysian bowers of Canandaigua. 
 
 RICH and bountiful Ontario! called by politicians the 'in- 
 fected district,' by poets the garden of the state the affluent
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 143 
 
 parterre of every thing good for man, or nutritious for beast. 
 The sheen of thy waters is yet in my eye ; the breath of thy 
 clover fields yet regaleth my nostrils ; I seem, (here in this 
 crowded home, with the liveried coaches rattling in my ear, and 
 the city's voice booming about me,) I seem to be stealing flowers 
 from the demesnes of some unknown Peri, or partaking the hos- 
 pitality of friends and brethren. Beautiful country! thou art 
 the rus in urbe of my thought ! In thy mansions I have been 
 seated, with all those culinary appliances and varied wines which 
 smack of the city, over hearths beneath which repose the bones 
 of unnumbered Indians, with no circumstance to tell me of the 
 country, save the hallowed stillness ; the distant wheat fields 
 waving to the breeze of summer ; the rural spire crowning the 
 distant hill, or the bleating of sheep, huddling together from the 
 heat of the day, in the shade ! Precious hours ! They throng 
 back upon my memory with influences of peace ; with the hum 
 of bees, the voice of waving branches, jhe tones of childhood, 
 the prattle of running waters, and with* the glow of the lake, 
 which seemed to expand as the twilight drew near, 
 
 THAT, smiling from the sweet south-west, 
 The sunbeams might rejoice its breast. 
 
 * 
 
 One of those still and peaceful lakes, 
 
 That in a shining cluster lie, 
 On which the south wind scarcely breaks 
 
 The image of the sky. 
 
 He who, having seen thee once, can easily forget thee, is fit 
 for treason. 
 
 To THE unobservant eye, doubtless there is much in the 
 Genesee region that may seem dull and tame. To the. enthusi- 
 astic, the close-viewing, or the romantic, it is not so. The vil- 
 lages are thriving and neat ; the country rich in every thing ; and 
 ' the rising generation,' the children, are lovely specimens of 
 juvenile humanity. We saw them, in almost every meadow we 
 passed, up to their knees in strawberry-vines and clover, gather- 
 ing the blossoms of the one and the fruits of the other. Pleasant 
 beyond description, too, are the white dwellings in the towns, 
 embowered in the honey-locust tree, or lifting their pale chim- 
 neys behind the tall and melancholy poplars which whisper 
 around. 
 
 A LUDICROUS incident occurred at Batavia. There is a creek 
 in the neighborhood, which makes ' upward of considerable'
 
 144 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 noise, after night-fall. The English passenger, who reached the 
 town before us, by leaving the stage and walking on foot, ima- 
 gined it to be the Falls of Niagara, from which we were then 
 between fifty and sixty miles. He went out and listened. ' My 
 GOD !' said he, ' what oncommon roaring falls them is ! They 
 must ey-ther be very 'igh, or else the winds is riz.' The mis- 
 take was not corrected, and the fellow retired to rest, with his 
 stupic cranium firmly impressed with the belief that his long ears 
 had caught the sound of the Great Cataract. 
 
 TRAVELER ! as thou wendest toward the West, if thou art 
 within some fifteen miles of Batavia, and thinkest of pausing for 
 the night, rescind the mental resolution, and post on to that town. 
 There shall thou experience a good bed, and delicious rest, with 
 the murmur of the Tonnawanta breathing upon the night air thy 
 quiet lullaby. Do this ; to the end that, rising in the morning, 
 thou go to Richville, ad there to breakfast, which is an hospi- 
 table town, and hath an hotel whose superior is not to be found, 
 whether thou go to the south-west or north-west, or indeed to any 
 point of the compass. Comfortable and expeditious BLODGET ! 
 The voluminousness of thy periphery indicateth the epicure ; 
 upon the pullets thou sacrifices!, are the pin-feathers of youth ; 
 thy warm cakes are done deliciously brown ; thy yellow butter, 
 thy irreproachable eggs, thy unimpeachable coffee my mne- 
 monical palate remembers them all. Murder Creek, too, is in 
 thy vicinity ; and as it goes moaning onward under the rude 
 bridge that spans it, the reflection of bright red mills upon its 
 shore, as they give back the sunbeam, gives its murder's proper 
 hue and ' damned spot.' The tradition is, that a poor crazy old 
 man was killed here by the Indians, many years ago, in the early 
 settlement of the country : 
 
 ' MAY be be true, may be be no so ; 
 We '11 grant it is, and let it go so.' 
 
 At any rate, (BLODGET, I thank thee for the sentence,) if Rich- 
 ville hath the memory of death, it hath likewise, and in full pro- 
 fusion, the means of life. 
 
 
 
 IT is anti-agreeable to post over a road which looks like a 
 river, and where the course your conveyance is to take is indi- 
 cated by stakes implanted in the solid part of that ' undiscovered 
 country' over which you are rolling as it were in a ship. Such 
 was our experience through a part of the Genesee region. But I 
 caught one view from the window of our coach, which I shall not
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 145 
 
 soon forget. Along the distant uplands of the Genesee there 
 lay a long plain of mist, with irregular indentations, like the bays 
 of a lake ; above them arose a gorgeous array of clouds, and 
 between both, a wide stretch of verdure. The mist looked like 
 an ocean ; the fragments that sailed by themselves, or hung in 
 motionless masses in the air, appeared like towers and temples. 
 The effect was indescribably magnificent. 
 
 TEN miles to the east of Buffalo, I looked out from our con- 
 veyance, filled with anxious expectation. For the most part, the 
 day had been a day of wind and storm ; but the tempest had 
 passed over, the winds had gone back to their caves, and the sun 
 looked forth from the west, with features of unutterable beauty. 
 A vast curtain of clouds rolled up from the north and north-west, 
 leaving the clarified sty so darkly and serenely blue, that it 
 almost approached the purple. It was that part of the heavens 
 -which bent its unfathomable arch over the expanse of Erie and 
 Niagara, on its rebounding journey to the Ontario. Far as the 
 eye could reacJi> on every hand, save the rising road toward the 
 west, all the region round about was level as the floor of a city 
 saloon. But the radius embraced by the eye was small, from 
 that very circumstance. The only evidence we had of our 
 proximity to those great inland oceans, just mentioned, was 
 traceable in the bending heads of those distant forest trees which 
 were higher than the surrounding monarchs of the wild. These, 
 with the orchard trees on both sides of the way, inclined to the 
 east at an angle of three horizontal to one vertical foot. There 
 were the symptoms of approach to Old Erie. There the con- 
 stant winds from the west had howled their winter anthems, and 
 wailed in praise of the strength and grandeur of Omnipotence. 
 As I was saying, I looked forth from our vehicle ; and becoming 
 too much excited with expectation to remain within, a gentleman, 
 who knew my impatience, counselled me to wait until we reached 
 a slight eminence beyond, where he told me I should in all 
 probability behold a sight worth seeing. This vague announce- 
 ment sharpened my curiosity. At last, the trivial eminence was 
 reached, and my friend bade me cast my glance to the north- 
 west. I looked, and beheld, rising above the level distance, 
 apparently thirty miles off, a spiral pillar of steamy mist, against 
 the perfect sky, uplifting itself with slow and solemn movement, 
 ending in a column of faint, and quivering, and beautiful crimson. 
 
 ' What do you think that is ?' said my friend. 
 
 Quite unable to answer the question, I confessed my igno- 
 rance in the phraseology of Polonius : ' By the mass, I cannot tell.' ( 
 
 10
 
 146 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 * That,' said he, ' is the spray from the Niagara !' 
 
 I felt my blood rush quicker, and tingle through my veins, at 
 the mere mention of the name. I mounted on the outside with 
 the driver, and surveyed every object near and far with the in- 
 tense delight and quick sense of novelty which I have cherished 
 from my youth. 
 
 ' How high is the. sun ?' I inquired of the postillion, after the 
 seeming lapse of a few moments, as the great orb appeared rap- 
 idly nearing the horizon, ' and what is the distance from Buffalo?' 
 
 * The sun is two hours up y e t, Sir, and I expect we are a 
 mild and a half from the city jest about' answered Whip. 
 
 It was not without a laugh at hib idea of calling Buffalo a city, 
 that I buttoned the over-coat which the freshening wind from 
 Erie, yet unseen, had rendered requisite, and abandoned mysell 
 to the intoxication of my expectant thoughts. Shortly, we began 
 to ascend a rise of ground ; higher sweeps of landscape rolled 
 upward from afar; smokes, as from distant steam-boats, arose 
 heavenward ; bright domes appeared; and all ai once beauti 
 ful sight! the ' city,' with its spires, and squares, and streets 
 lay at my feet ; a magnificent thoroughfare, Old Main, as the 
 Buffalonians call it, stretched for miles before my ey<j ; palaces 
 were around me ; the thick spars of innumerable ships streamed 
 their colors on the breeze ; water-craft were hastening to the 
 Canadas, lying greenly and beautiful across the bay; and beyond 
 all, Lake Erie stretched its tremblingly blue expanse toward the* 
 West, with shadows of golden clouds trailing over its bosom, 
 and ships melting afar off into nothingness, toward the chamber 
 of the evening sun ! Reader, Buffalo is a wonder and a marvel. 
 Approach it as I did, in summer, and on Sunday. To its vari- 
 ous portals, as did the strangers to old Rome, 
 
 ' Cast round thine eyes, and see 
 
 What conflux issuing forth, or entering in ; 
 On embassies from regions far remote, 
 In various habits, on the Appian road, 
 Or on the Emilian.' 
 
 THE whole of the Genesee country is but a tame, yet it is a 
 beautiful prelude, to those splendid pictures in that magnificent 
 scenery of the West, of which Buffalo forms the opening view. 
 
 * Tell me,' said I to my Jehu, ' what is the population of this 
 * city,' which we are approaching ?' 
 
 < It is nigh to twenty thousand, friend !' ejaculated the dis- 
 ipenser of impulses to the cattle before him, with an evident feel
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 147 
 
 ing of pleasure that he was showing wonders ; ' and what 's 
 more, stranger, we shall soon be at the Eagle. Jest let me ask 
 you, 'Squire, did you ever see any thing like that 'are?' 
 
 I turned to the direction of his whip, to the south-west, where 
 a bay of Erie bent into the woodlands, stretching for miles. 
 
 ' What is that ?' I inquired. 
 
 ' Why, it 's Buffalo ! You see the streets of the outskirts, 
 marked out in the edges of the woods, several miles off; you 
 see the white buildings among the green trees, where the slumps 
 is n't yet grubbed up ; and where they do say, that sheep and 
 deer is enclosed in the cellars of the houses, built to nearly the 
 second story ; and yet they say, and I believe it, that there is n't 
 a house in all Buffalo, fur and nigh, owZ-skirts and ire-skirts, that 
 has n't more tenants than can be disposed of.' 
 
 I continued to gaze in the direction he had pointed ; and 
 truly the sight was beyond the blazon of tongue or pen. It 
 seemed to my eye as if more than half of the city of Buffalo had 
 been but yesterday redeemed from the wilderness. A town of 
 brick, large, stately, and imposing in itself, was encompassed on 
 all sides by extending tenements of white, sufficient in number 
 to form a dozen country villages ; in the middle of the town were 
 country seats, surrounded with parks, through which the deer 
 bounded, as in those early days, not long ago, when the shores 
 of Erie were forests, and the lake was crossed only by the ad- 
 venturous canoe of the daring Indian ; when if a young Pale 
 Face came to tempt them, he was admonished by the Red Skins 
 to forbear : 
 
 SON of the stranger ! wouldst thou take 
 
 O'er yon blue hills thy lonely way, 
 To reach the still and shining lake, 
 
 Along whose banks the west winds play ? 
 Let no vain dreams thy heart beguile ; 
 Oh, seek not thou the Fountain Isle .' 
 
 Bright, bright, in many a rocky urn, 
 
 The waters of our deserts lie ; 
 Yet at their source, the lip shall burn, 
 
 Parched with the fever's agony ; 
 From the blue mountains to the main, 
 Our thousand floods may roll in vain. 
 
 Even there our hunters came of yore, 
 Back from their long and weary quest ; 
 
 Had they not seen the untrodden shore, 
 And could Jthey midst our wilds find rest? 
 
 The lightning of their glance was fled, 
 
 They dwelt among us as the dead !
 
 148 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 They lay beside the glittering rills, 
 With visions in their darkened eye ; 
 
 Their joy was not amidst the hills, 
 Where elk and deer before them fly; 
 
 Their spears upon the cedar hung, 
 
 Their javelins to the winds were flung. 
 
 They bent no more the forest bow, 
 
 They armed not with the warrior-band ; 
 
 The moon waved o'er them, dim and slow - 
 They left us, for the Spirit Land ! 
 
 Beneath our pines, yon green-sward heap 
 
 Shows where the restless found their sleep. 
 
 FOR the rest, wherein is narrated the visit of OLLAPOD to the 
 Great Cataract, and to those divers points of interest which are 
 to be found by the way, as the returning traveler journeys toward 
 the Atlantic sea-board, is it not all recorded in the diary, of which 
 the foregoing is but a little part ? Of a verity, dear reader, 
 Providence permitting, thou shalt hear again, anon, from 'the 
 man of many wanderings.' 
 
 NUMBER FIFTEEN. 
 
 October, 1836. 
 
 SONOROUS and stirring are the sounds of the bell at the Eagle, 
 in Buffalo, which summons the wayfarer to the bolting of his 
 meridian, nocturnal, and matutinal meal ! Wo to him, the edu- 
 cation of whose jaws, in the swift movements of mastication, has 
 been neglected ! It were better his mother had not borne him, 
 than to have him seated at the table. However, I say nothing 
 to this point. Eating is earthly and sensual ; and the knife-and- 
 fork system of pursuing it, especially where you cannot select 
 your own hardware, is devilish. Commend me to the Turk. I 
 could not eat with satisfaction at the table d'hote of any inn in 
 the country, (some ten excepted, which it would be invidious to 
 name) did the table groan with a feast like that which covered 
 the parental board of Katrina Van Tassel, that Dutch beau ideal 
 of our beloved Irving. 
 
 TALKING of WASHINGTON IRVING. I take it for granted, 
 good reader, that you have never encountered him ; for be it 
 known, except in the elevated circle where he moves and shines, 
 he is one who loves not to be ' seen of men.' He hates your
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 149 
 
 pointings-out in the streets, and greetings in the markets : these he 
 leaves to be struggled after, with painful yearnings, by the flimsy 
 fry which injudicious friends would inflate to his capacity and 
 standard. It is a year ago since 1 had the pleasure of repeating 
 the pleasure of discernment and intercourse with this genial, af- 
 fectionate, and noble man. I have for IRVING and I am will- 
 ing to confess it a kind of love. His veracious books, com- 
 prising the History of New York, have created more risibility 
 under my waistcoat, than any volumes from the past or of the 
 present. I read them regularly once a year. There is about 
 them such a transparent flow of wit such glorious satire such 
 happiness of expression such more-than-meets-the-eye phra- 
 ses that, take them up when and where I will, they violate my 
 sobriety, and seduce me into a hearty guffaw. As Geoffrey Cray- 
 on, I am charmed with him ; as an historian, I honor him ; as a 
 patriot and a gentleman, I thoroughly revere him. What a style 
 is his ! None of your shallow tinsel, your unnatural emblems, 
 your forced conceits, your windy tropes : all is truth, gentleness, 
 nature. God bless the gentleman ! Well, as I was saying, 't is 
 now about a year since I saw him last. It was a bridal scene. 
 Sweet was the gusto of the Marcobrunner upon the lips of my 
 
 friend G and his comrade OLLAPOD, when the splendid 
 
 coach flashed its whirring wheels between the green walks of the 
 Park and our apartment at the Clinton. (As yet, famed Astor's 
 was not.) ' Considerable if not more' were the oglings we re- 
 ceived, as our satin-lined coats fluttered their white aspects 
 around the door of the carriage ; and the flowery favors I bore, 
 elicited envious looks ' from each pedestrian churl,' as we rolled 
 along Broadway to Square. 
 
 IMAGINE it a few moments after sunset, in a superb drawing- 
 room, a few steps from a famous plaza ' I think they call it.' 
 The rosy lingering of a June sky enable you to discern yourself 
 surrounded with grooms and bride's-maids, some half a score. 
 Carriages bustle up beneath you, freighted with beauty ; the harp 
 rings from the hall ; the sweet perfume from a hundred bouquets 
 float through the apartment. The past and present meet togeth- 
 er. Warm hands are in your grasp ; fair smiles and happy 
 laughter beam and echo around. ' Where,' one could not but 
 think, ' may we all be within the year ! Some, now around me, 
 will be on the- ocean, in the service of their country ; some in 
 Italy some in Egypt some in Greece.' And so they are. 
 
 DESCEND with me to the bridal saloon. There stands the
 
 150 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 holy man. We proceed, ' in order due ;' and forming that ' open 
 line,' which never looks so beautiful as on such an occasion, 
 hear the vows that bind together two loving hearts. Silks rustle, 
 kisses echo, diamonds gleam fairy voices murmur around. By 
 the way, that kissing is a pleasant business. It is highly com- 
 mended of St. Paul ; and though I may, as that worthy apostle 
 once said of himself, ' speak as a fool,' yet I am going to make 
 a hitherto unattempted literary effort. I trust it will be well ' got 
 up.' I am going to do what Solomon said could not be done ; 
 namely, describe something new. This is the age of improve- 
 ment. ' Ladies and gentlemen, stand back, and you will see' 
 a kiss on paper. Do n't be incredulous. I will give you the 
 sound in types. Listen ! When two pairs of affectionate lips 
 are placed together, to the intent of osculation, the noise educed 
 is something like the ensuing epe-st'wecp' > st-e > c! and then the 
 sound tapers off so softly and so musical, that no letters can do 
 it justice. But this is a digression. If any one thinks my de- 
 scription imperfect, let him surpass it, if he can ! 
 
 ' WHO is that gentleman, standing by the pier-table, in the 
 other drawing-room T said I to a friend. ' I am oblivious of his 
 name, but his countenance is familiar. He has a noble fore- 
 head a discerning eye a most goodly presence. How the 
 organs of humor expand in his temples ! What a benevolent 
 smile plays around his lips ! and he seems, too, the focus of 
 all eyes.' 
 
 * Yes,' I was answered, ' and he deserves it. That is WASH- 
 INGTON IRVING.' 
 
 The remembrance of the face struck me in a moment. We 
 had met before, but not as acquaintances ; and the pleasure of 
 an introduction offered by my friend, a long-tried compeer of 
 CRAYON, was accepted with prompt alacrity. My memory of 
 that interview, and the prolonged colloquy to which, from cir- 
 cumstances, it gave rise, is really among the most pleasant of my 
 life. Irving had unknowingly done me sundry favors abroad, 
 when Secretary of Legation at the Court of St. James, by the 
 transmission of letters for me to America, through the department 
 of state. For these I thanked him cordially. A stoup of wine 
 followed ; and how numerous were the excellent sayings that 
 went forth from his lips, over those gouts of floating gold we 
 quaffed together ! Geoffrey seemed almost disposed, for the 
 nonce, to eulogize the Benedict. ' The rustling of silks and the 
 creaking of shoes betrayed his fond heart to woman.' A gleam 
 of genuine pleasure laughed in his eye. In dress simple in
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 161 
 
 manners gentle, and easily entreated he takes the hue of the 
 time and the taste of his company so gracefully upon himself, 
 that you think you have known him for years. And if you are 
 a reader, so you have. I wondered at the verdict once given me 
 
 respecting him, by Fanny K , that at the aristocratic dinners 
 
 of London he was quite reserved, and sometimes sleejnj. Me- 
 thought (as he passed on from subject to subject without impedi- 
 ment from the changes in the city of his heart, since the days 
 of Stuyvesant and Van T wilier correcting now and then, with 
 right good will, my erroneous pronunciation of some of those 
 jaw-sundering Dutch names) that there was something in the at- 
 mosphere of home, and the sweet pomp of a bridal scene, which 
 won upon his affection, and sent a genial glow to his inmost heart. 
 Would that the properties of social life might permit a transcript 
 of the constant felicities which he then and there diffused into the 
 porches of mine ear ! Thoughts, common perhaps in themselves, 
 clothed in such exquisite and telling expression ; fancies evoked 
 from every-day facts ; happy terms and phrases innumerable. 
 Could I record them, how much would they enrich this my fifth 
 subsection of number fifteen ! 
 
 REVENONS A BUFFALO. He who would form a just appre- 
 ciation of this wonderful city, let him, as I did, (if he have liter- 
 ary acquaintances and comrades of the mind, but personally un- 
 known,) take the arm of a friend, and as the twilight comes on, 
 go down through Main-street to the Erie pier. What a sight ! 
 It is one which makes the heart of the observer swell with pride 
 that he was born an American. ' It was a Sunday evening,' as 
 Southey would say, when I coursed with my friend along the 
 crowded quay of Buffalo. The sun had gone down beyond the 
 far headlands toward the Occident, and a track of quivering gold 
 stretched for leagues to the west, over the dancing waves of that 
 inland ocean, Erie portraying the ruddy brightness of the day- 
 god's car. Inspiring music filled the atmosphere ; the streamers 
 -of steam craft, (ready, like a mighty war-horse, to burst their 
 tether, and pawing the waves with impatience,) flouted the sky ; 
 the tramp of unnumbered feet echoed along the pavements ; the 
 church-going bells rang from afar. I stopped for some minutes 
 to gaze upon the face of a beautiful Indian girl, of the Seneca 
 tribe, as she offered me her gay-colored moccasins. I would 
 not buy but I could not go. I waited, therefore, with pleased 
 delay, affecting not to understand her broken English ; watching, 
 the while, how her voluptuous lashes rose and fell over those 
 dark, surprised, and dewy eyes. She was perhaps sixteen ;
 
 152 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 graceful beyond words, yet stately as Juno, and her form mould- 
 ed in the fulness of youth. There was such a world of intelli- 
 gence in her glance, and in that soft blush, half olive and half 
 ruby, which glowed on her cheek, that (I might as well own 
 it) the bosom of OLLAPOD was marvellously troubled. Laugh 
 not, reader but to that bright remnant of a perishing race the 
 enthusiastic Benedict kissed his hand ! Yes, and the tawny 
 digits of the fair Seneca went to her lips, and a smile, bright as 
 a line of unsullied sunlight from the pearly gates of Eden, beam- 
 ed upon the parting glance of OLLAPOD. 'T was evanescent 
 but how nice ! 
 
 I HAVE no idea of being statistical : my limited acquaintance 
 with DABOLL, and other arithmetical gentlemen, forbids me from 
 dabbling in figures. But, if any one desires to see practical mul- 
 tiplication, whether in persons or in property, let him go to Buf- 
 falo. ' Where are those steamers bound ?' asked I of my friend, 
 as we stood upon the pier which, in front of warehouses for many 
 a rood in extent, was covered to the height of fifteen and some- 
 times twenty feet with unhoused merchandise, for which the 
 houses themselves, glutted to the overflow, had not admission. 
 
 * Oh, only a few hundred miles up the lake.' 
 
 * A few hundred miles /' I exclaimed astonished : ' In the name 
 of aquatic locomotion, how far can they go ? Do you pretend 
 to say they can proceed farther to the west than I have come 
 from the south-east T 
 
 A hearty laugh followed this observation, which startled the by- 
 standers. Just at this moment a steamer got under way. She 
 moved majestically along the side of the pier, passing ships al- 
 most innumerable ; bugles and trumpets hallowed the air with 
 those national songs which do so stir my blood ; and really I am 
 quite unable to describe my elateness of spirit, as she turned the 
 point where the light-house lifts its tall pharos over land and 
 wave, and went musically along the bosom of Erie, the wreaths 
 of smoke and flame shooting in gusty grandeur from her chim- 
 neys. Fifteen hundred miles might that craft travel along the 
 west, toward the setting sun. What was lately there ? The howl 
 of the wolf and the Indian, the whoop on the war-trail, and the 
 solemn yell around the council-fire. From those dim shores, 
 now fading into the indistinctness of twilight, went up the smoke 
 of the wigwam, or the gleam from the pine torch, by whose light 
 the red man guided his venturous canoe ! What is there now ? 
 Towns rear their bristling spires and masts, and send their spirit- 
 boats along the waters like things of life : the hallowed chimes
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 153 
 
 of the Sabbath reach the Indian in his hut, and the raven on his 
 bough. The Past has vanished as a scroll ; and the bustling, the 
 usual Present is around us, with the hiss of its rail-road engines, 
 the thunders of its steaming apparatus, and the rolling of the tri- 
 umphant wheels of commerce. It seems to me, too, that in these 
 western regions the soul of man glows with a newer fire, and 
 fresher impulse ; as if some Indian Prometheus, seeing the decay 
 of the Red Nations, had sent a fervent spirit into the bosoms of 
 their white successors. A word here in the reader's ear. If 
 thou goest to Buffalo, ascend thee to the dome of the American, 
 and cast thine eyes southward. There, league on league, stretch- 
 es the blue and primeval wilderness, and from the wigwams of 
 the Senecas the smokes go up, as in the days when the whole 
 forest was their dominion, and the Pale Faces feeble and few. 
 Look then around you. Magic is there ! The tide of power, 
 rising and rolling onward, sends its roar to your ear ; and you 
 see the progress of that mighty flood of enterprise which is yet to 
 fill the West with a noble and prosperous people. If you are 
 an American, your heart will bound proudly within you, until 
 you will feel as if, like the green mountains of ancient Israel, you 
 could break forth into singing. If you love your native land, 
 travel through it, and your affection will increase and multiply 
 mightily. Yes, my glorious country ! every additional mile I 
 traverse of thy boundaries, adds to the flame of my attachment. 
 Filled with a brave and generous people, who have done more in 
 the same space of time than any nation ever did to promote the 
 honor and liberty of man I love thee ! Thou hast, too, thank 
 GOD ! the elements of perpetuity within thee : 
 
 ' SEAS, and stormy air, 
 
 Are the wide barriers of thy borders, where 
 Thou laugh'st at enemies ; who shall then declare 
 The date of thy deep-founded strength, or tell 
 How happy in thy lap the sons of men shall dwell !' 
 
 I WOKE early at the Eagle, excited and unrefreshed. The 
 idea of seeing Niagara the next day impressed me so deeply, 
 when I retired the evening before, that I was unable to sleep ; 
 and had I been thus disposed, there were influences enough 
 about me to prevent somnolency, even in a sloth. It was the 
 Eden of a weasel, the place where I lay. The apartment was 
 named The Pasture, by a facetious fellow-traveller ; and verily, 
 many were the bipedal animals who ' ruminated bedward' there- 
 in. I slept opposite a speculator in Michigan lands ; and, as if 
 determined never to be caught napping, he slept with his eyes 
 open. The effect was really frightful. By the light of the moon,
 
 154 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 streaming through the window, I saw his cunning optics full 
 of bargain and sale glaring upon me. Sometimes it seemed 
 as if all die mortal light had departed from them ; yet still they 
 glared into mine. 1 aver, with sincerity, that those eyes never 
 closed the live-long night. They seemed alive yet dead. I 
 thought of Coleridge's lines in the ' Auntient Marinere :' 
 
 ' AN orphan's curse might drag to hell 
 
 A spirit /rom on high ; 
 But oh ! more terrible than that, 
 
 Is the curse of a dead man's eye : 
 Seven days, seven nights, I saw that curse, 
 
 And yet I could not die.' 
 
 One who is not single in every sense of the word, should bestow 
 his rib and maid in an adjacent apartment, taking himself what 
 the gods might be willing to confer in such emergencies. As I 
 said, I awoke early ; and performing certain orisons with a razor 
 belonging to the establishment, (GoD knows how many chins it 
 has reaped in its time !) before a glass which screwed my coun- 
 tenance into a horrific caricature, I made ready to accompany 
 ' self and party' to the Falls. 
 
 BEHOLD us on the deck of the steamer Victory. The breeze 
 of morning is fresh and fair ; the engine hisses and trembles ; 
 carriages throng to the pier ; ladies, with albums under their arms, 
 thick green veils over their pretty faces, and in habiliments of 
 travel, throng on board. Agitation and expectancy give them 
 color ; veil after veil is put back, like gossamer ; calm brows and 
 glancing eyes appear. Among these, OLLAPOD recognises many ; 
 some, seen and flirted with of yore. By and by the green 
 waters of Erie begin to melt into the less turbulent Niagara ; you 
 float calmly along, observing and observed. How much pleas- 
 ure is clustered in such moments ! 
 
 THERE is, among those who have not seen it, a wonderful 
 misapprehension respecting the river Niagara. It is not like a 
 river ; it seems a moving lake. Grand Island, too, with the un- 
 initiated, is deemed a small tract of ground, without particular 
 attractions ; a place, perhaps, for the country-seat of some mil- 
 lionaire. Yet it is between three or four leagues long, and the 
 greater part of it is a solid wilderness, with as it were a lake on 
 either side. Perhaps, untravelled reader, this may give you an 
 idea of the river of Niagara.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 155 
 
 As YOU approach the northern end of Grand Island, anticipa- 
 tion stands on tiptoe. I ascended to that sacred portion of the 
 steamer y'clept the roof of the wheel-house, where the sound of 
 the paddles gurgled out a kind of lullaby to my spirit. The blue 
 sky had changed : from the waves of Ontario, and the stretch of 
 Niagara, the morning mists had arisen, and formed into clouds. 
 These rolled upward, in long ribs of purple and gold, from the 
 north, one above another, like some celestial stair-case, leading, 
 as did the dreamy ladder of Jacob, into Heaven. As we parted 
 the ripples with a nimble prow, the deer were seen, starting 
 from their coverts, in the woods of the island, while the eagle, 
 scared from the arms of his favorite and aspiring cedar, soared 
 with his shrill scream into the abyss of Heaven, where his form 
 was soon swallowed up in the distance. 
 
 SHORTLY after you leave Grand Island, you expand into a 
 scene which, to my agitated remembrance, resembles the Tap- 
 pan Zee of the Hudson. All now is expectation. Every eye 
 is bent to the north. ' How far is it from Chippewa?' asked I, 
 of a friendly delegation of journalists and legislators, whose ge- 
 nial spirits and intercourse I cherish with the warmest recollec- 
 tions. ' Not far,' was the answer ; ' you will be there soon.' 
 
 AT the distance of five miles from Niagara Falls, you catch 
 the first distinct view. Is it sublime? No for distance so 
 softens and deceives, that you can not appreciate it. You strain 
 your outward-looking eyes, till the retina aches with gazing. 
 What do you see ? A cloud of apparent smoke, along the 
 northern border, the nil ultra of the lake you are ploughing ; and 
 on either side all is apparently a wide shore of rocks and woods ; 
 beyond, a terrible gulf, of which you see nothing but the cease- 
 less cloud that rises at its dim and dismal edge. 
 
 ' AND that is Niagara /' said I, as the mountainous spray, 
 volume after volume, swelled upward in the sun. ' Well, I seem 
 disappointed.' 
 
 ' Do you ?' said my friend, the legislator, with a triumphant 
 accent on the first branch of the interrogation. ' You see the 
 cataract is as yet afar off; just put your hand to your ear, guard- 
 ing it from the tumult of the machinery, and tell me if you do 
 not hear something ?' 
 
 I did so ; and sonorous, full, and replete with a sense of awe, 
 the voice of the cataract swelled in my ear.
 
 156 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 ALL was now expectancy and enthusiasm. I could scarcely 
 stand still. Before me, like the pillar of fire to the host of the 
 Israelites, rose that eternal column of snowy mist, tinct and gar- 
 nished by the sunbeam and I had caught the sound of Niagara. 
 
 I SCARCELY know how I left Chippewa. I am aware that 
 all my travelling movements and precautions were executed with 
 habitual discretion ; but I can not explain to any one the new 
 sensations I experienced on our way to the Falls. When at the 
 distance of some two miles from the cataract, there seemed to be 
 an increasing shadow, like that of an eclipse, in the atmosphere. 
 
 The dimness increased ; and on passing a lapse of woods, and 
 emerging again in sight of the river, I felt assured that a storm 
 was coming on. I ordered our postillion to stop. 
 
 ' Is there no house,' I inquired, ' between this and Niagara ? 
 There is a thunder-shower coming on ; I hear it growling.' 
 
 IT would have done your heart good, to have heard the laugh 
 of that driver. It was loud and long ; it bubbled up from his 
 heart, as if what he had just heard was the best joke he had lis- 
 tened to for years. 
 
 ' Bless your soul, friend, it 's not going to rain. What you 
 see, is the cloudy mist, and what you hear, is the roar of them 
 Falls, yender. Jest wait a minute and then ' 
 
 'STOP !' said I, rising in our barouche, while, gilded by the 
 westering sun, I caught, as we wheeled around a clump of trees, 
 the first view of the vast green gulf and circle of the Horse-Shoe 
 Fall. 
 
 MY good reader, you must excuse my enthusiasm. It has 
 been said that Niagara can not be described. I think it can be. 
 Can not one record on paper the thoughts provoked by the ob- 
 jects of grandeur and magnificence that have met his eye ? Ver- 
 ily, I trow so ; and I will try. The first mistake corrected by 
 an approach to Niagara, is as to its width. You have supposed 
 it an outlet from one lake to another, pressed into narrow boun- 
 daries, and urged onward by irresistible impulses. You were de- 
 ceived by fancy. The river is like some bay of an ocean ; as if 
 indeed the Atlantic and Pacific, one far below the other, should 
 meet, by the former being narrowed to the width of one or two 
 miles, and falling to the depth of more than two hundred feet, 
 with rocks and islands on the edge of the vast gulf, frowning and 
 waving between*
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 157 
 
 VERY soon we reached the Pavilion. The selection of an 
 apartment, visitation to the barber, and the donning of a cool 
 summer dress, were all speedily accomplished. The ceaseless 
 hum of the Falls was in my hearing it shook the windows of 
 the Pavilion, from which I gazed. Below, at a few rods distance, 
 the mighty Niagara plunged into its misty abyss : above, to the 
 south, it seemed as if an ocean, fierce as that tide which ' keeps 
 due on to the Propontic and the Hellespont,' was rushing madly 
 down to some undiscovered cavern, where its fury was lost and 
 suspended for ever. 
 
 DESCENDING through the garden and the open common which 
 intervene between the Pavilion and the distant river to the east- 
 ward, we struck the road, and observed the sign which pointed 
 ' t3F To THE FALLS.' Here let me say a word, which I think 
 will give the idea of Niagara vividly to one who has never seen 
 it. It seemed to me, as I looked from the window of the Pavil- 
 ion, that the river was nearly on a level with the house. Well, 
 I passed over the places 1 have mentioned ; and at the guide-post 
 aforesaid, we began to make a most precipitous descent, over 
 rude stair-cases, bedded in miry clay. In a few moments we 
 were nearly on a level with the river, which was in full view, and 
 close at hand. At that instant, the first impression of the vast 
 power of Niagara struck my mind ; but it was faint and feeble, 
 compared with those that succeeded. For miles, looking up- 
 ward at the stream, it resembled a foaming ocean, vexed by the 
 storms of the equinox. We proceeded to the house which heads 
 the perpendicular descent to the bed of the river, at the foot of 
 the Falls. Those who dress for deeds of aquatic daring with 
 more deliberation than myself, would have changed their ordinary 
 attire for those simple and coarse habiliments usually adopted by 
 those adventurous spirits who get their drenched certificates for 
 going under the sheet but for my part, I had not the patience. 
 Endowing myself with an oil-cloth surtout, I began to descend 
 the stair-case leading to the base of the cataract. 
 
 THE descent seemed interminable. I thought I had travelled 
 an hour, still moving round and round in darkness, and alone. 
 It was a solemn probation, during which I had time to nerve my 
 spirit for the grandeur and the awe with which it was soon to be 
 impressed. At last, I made my egress from the stair-case into 
 the presence of the Wonder. 
 
 MY first idea was, that a tremendous storm had brewed since I 
 began to descend. Several rods to the south, the Falls, dimly
 
 158 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 seen, boomed and thundered with a noise so stunning, that I was 
 alnjkst distracted. At my feet, there rolled onward what seemed 
 a lake of milk having about it nothing dark not even a 
 glimpse of water-color. I saw, near by, a tall black figure, smil- 
 ing graciously, like some good-natured Charon, ready to trans- 
 port his customers across the River of Death. He announced 
 himself as the conductor of gentlemen under the Falls. Taking 
 his hand, I approached them. At a certain point, as we drew 
 nigh, I begged him to stop. The mist had surged upward from 
 my vision, and before me broke down, as it were, the Atlantic^ 
 from a height so dizzy that it made the eye shrink from gazing ; 
 the distant side of the vast semicircle hid from view by a rain- 
 bow, and the awful mass of green, mad waters, rushing to the 
 abyss, with a noise like the breaking up of chaos ! What is like 
 that scene ! It is itself alone ; to depict it comparisons fail. You 
 must describe itself. 
 
 I know not how it was, but such a sense of awe and majesty 
 descended at that moment upon my spirit, that I burst into tears, 
 and shivered through every nerve. What an awful hum and 
 moaning pierced the hearing sense ! Above me, hideous rocks 
 rose for hundreds of feet ; dark shelves, wet with the eternal 
 tempest around them ; and at every moment a stormy gust would 
 drive a deluge of water in my face, taking my breath, and chill- 
 ing me, as it were in the depth of the solstice, even to the bone. 
 As we shouldered the dark ledges which extended under the 
 sheet, I almost shrank from the desperate undertaking ; and 
 never did lover, howsoever deeply skilled in ' holy palmistry,' 
 press the jewelled hand of his mistress with such affection as 
 that wherewith OLLAPOD grasped the sable fingers of his African 
 conductor! His splay feet atd amphibious-looking heels seem- 
 ed to stamp him some creature of the elements ; a Caliban, 
 schooled to generous offices by some supernatural master. 
 
 WHEN you approach within ten feet or so of that tremendous 
 launch of waters, then is the time to pause for a moment, to steep 
 and saturate your soul with one pre-eminent and grand remem- 
 brance. For me, if millions of human beings had been around 
 me, I should have felt alone and as one who, having passed 
 beyond the dominions of mortality, stood presented before the 
 marvels of his God ! It is a place for the silent adoration of the 
 heart for HIM 
 
 4 Who made the world, and heaped the waters far 
 Above its loftiest mountain.' 
 
 Whence came those ceaseless and resounding floods ? From
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 159 
 
 the ' hollow hand' of Omnipotence ! Fancy stretches and plumes 
 her adventurous pinions from this point : she goes onward to the 
 Upper Lakes, and their peopled shores ; she pursues her voyage 
 to the dark streams and inland seas of the west ; and returning, 
 finds their delegated waters pouring heavily and with eternal 
 thunder down that dizzy steep ! Thought, preying upon itself, 
 is lost in one deep and profound sense of awe ; of recollection, 
 of prospect. I may change one word from Byron, to express 
 my meaning : 
 
 'Bv those that deepest feel, is ill exprest 
 The indistinctness of the laboring breast : 
 Where thousand thoughts begin, to end in one, 
 Which seek from all the refuge found in none.' 
 
 From the spot of which I speak, you can easily imagine that 
 there has come upon you the deluge, or the day of doom. The 
 voices of eternity seem to burden the air ; look up, and the dark 
 rocks, like the confines of Plegethon, seem tottering to their fall ; 
 where you stand, the whirlwind which bears upon its pinions 
 drops heavier than those of the most dismal tempest that ever 
 rent the wilderness on land, or wrecked an armament at sea, is 
 moaning and howling. Casting a glance at the upper verge of 
 the Falls, you see the turbulent rapids, thick, green, and high, 
 shrinking back, as it were, from their perilous descent, until a 
 mass of waves behind urges them, resistless, onward ; to speak 
 in thunder, and to rise in mist and foam, the children of strife, 
 yet parents of the rainbow, that emblem of peace. 
 
 I ONCE asked an elderly friend, in whose domicil I was a fa- 
 vored inmate, and who suffered much from the gout, whether 
 there might be any pain, known to myself, which would compare 
 with it. ' No !' he replied : ' I never met anything of the sort in 
 my life : there is nothing on earth like it ; and I am destitute of 
 any descriptive comparison. I am not dead at present ; I hav' n't 
 been as yet to Tophet ; and therefore can't tell whether gout is 
 like that, or purgatory ; but I believe it to be as near that as any- 
 thing.' It is thus with Niagara. There is no emblem : it has no 
 rival it is like no rival. Its multitudinous waves have a glory 
 and a grandeur of their own, to which nothing can be added, 
 and from which nothing can be taken away. 
 
 IT has been said, that the tremors or presentiments of those 
 who march to battle, are dissipated by the bustling of caparisoned 
 horses, the rolling of the war-drum, the clangor of the trumpet, 
 the clink and fall of swords, ' the noise of the captains and the
 
 ICiJ OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 shouting.' Some such kind of inspiration is given to the thought 
 Ail and observant man, who goes under the Great Fall of Niagara. 
 As I moved along behind my sable guide, holding on to his 
 dexter, 
 
 ' Even as a child, when scaring sounds molest, 
 Clings close and closer to its mother's breast ;' 
 
 while the waters dashed fiercer and more fiercely around about 
 me ; methought I had, in an evil hour, surrendered myself to 
 perdition, and was now being dragged thither by the ebon paw 
 of Satan. Shortly, however, the stormy music of Niagara took 
 possession of my soul ; and had Abaddon himself been there, I 
 could have followed him home. For one moment, only, I 
 faltered. The edge of the sheet nearest the Canada side, from 
 its rude and fretting contact with the shore above, comes down 
 with a stain of reddish brown. Near Termination Rock, you 
 pass by that dim border of the Fall, and exchanging recent dark- 
 ness for the green and spectral light struggling through the thick 
 water, you are enabled to discern where you are. My GOD ! It 
 is enough to make an earth-tried angel shudder, familiar though 
 he may be with the wonder-workings of the Eternal. Look up- 
 ward ! There, forming a dismal curve over your head, and 
 looming in the deceptive and unearthly light, to a seeming dis- 
 tance of many hundred feet, moaning with that ceaseless anthem 
 which trembles at their base, the rocks arise toward Heaven, 
 covered with the green ooze of centuries, hanging in horrid 
 shelves, and apparently on the "very point of breaking with the 
 weight of that accumulated sea which tumbles and howls over 
 their upper verge ! There is no scene of sublimity on earth 
 comparable to this. You stand beneath the rushing tributes from 
 a hundred lakes ; you seem to hear the waitings of imprisoned 
 spirits, until, fraught and filled with the spirit of the scene, you 
 exclaim, ' THERE is A GOD ! and this vast cataract, awful, over- 
 powering as it is, is but a plaything of HIS hand !' 
 
 THERE is one dreadful illusion to which the untrained eye is 
 subject, under this water-avalanche. You know, travelled reader, 
 that when you journey swiftly in a rail-road car, the landscape 
 seems moving past you with the speed of lightning. You see 
 distant trees and fields, apparently out of compliment to the loco- 
 motive, wheeling off obsequiously to the right and left. Every 
 grove seems engaged in a rigadoon. This illuso visits is particu- 
 larly discernible on the face of Niagara, when you are beneath the 
 Falls. Look at the sheet but for one moment, and you find yourself
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 161 
 
 rising upward with the swiftness of thought. Turning your 
 eye to the rocky wall which bounds you, for a moment you give 
 a side-long glance at its dizzy extent. Heavens ! what was that 
 noise ? Did not a portion of the rock above, some massy moun- 
 tain of stone, then fall ? No, it was only the thunder of com- 
 mingled rapids, which united at the edge of the precipice, and 
 rushed impetuously into the abyss together. It is this which 
 makes such heavy music, such solemn tones, in the distant voice 
 of Niagara. 
 
 A MOST thorough bath, such a one as I never took before, 
 gave me, after my changed dress, and proper probation, a supe- 
 rior appetite for joining a supper party at the Pavilion. I re- 
 member the pleasure I once enjoyed, during a summer sojourn 
 at West Point among congenial spirits. Every day, at dinner, in 
 the large mirrors which bedeck the dining saloon at COZZEN'S 
 capital establishment, what time we discussed viands and wines, 
 I could see the reflected Hudson and its shores, the distant 
 mountains towering into the sky, and steam-craft moving ; while 
 
 ' from town to town, 
 
 The snowy sails went gleaming down.' 
 
 You seem to think, if you are anything of an economist, at 
 Niagara, that you are likely to get from your host the worth of 
 your money. He gives you ' green or black tea,' and all the ap- 
 pointments of a good supper, and he flings in a view of Niagara 
 from the dining-room windows, without any extra expense ! Its 
 music shakes your hand as you lift your coffee to your lip ; its 
 bounding and agitated lapse smites your eye, as you sip the juice 
 of the Mocha berry, yet you never find it P the bill. If you wish 
 to be fleeced, however, employ a guide to tell you when is the 
 time to say ' Good gracious ! how sublime !' and to show you 
 the thousand little nothings in the vicinity of the Falls, which, 
 compared with them, are as it might be to pit a flea in fight 
 against a lion or an elephant. Ye blind guides ! door-keepers 
 of the gates of sublimity, which you can not speak of or describe, 
 save in the stale terms of business ! Ye tell a man whose heart 
 and mind are overflowing with awe and wonder when to use his 
 eyes ! Ye are varlets all ; akin to that enterprising man, men- 
 tioned, if I mistake not, by Goldsmith, who issued proposals to 
 bite off his own nose by subscription ; or, rather, to that builder 
 of chapeaux, who exclaimed in a paroxysm of delight, as he 
 stood at the foot of the Canada Fall, ' By the LORD ! what a 
 glorious place for washing hatsT 
 
 11
 
 162 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 WELL, I have sojourned near and surveyed Niagara, until it 
 is pictured in my mind, and I know it ft it were a favorite book. 
 A word here, then, to tourists who have that chief marvel of the 
 world to see. There will perhaps be disappointment in a far-off 
 view, as you go from the south ; for the majestic rush of the 
 rapids, and the heavy plunge of the fall, you can not see. To 
 my New York reader I can give a simile. Supposing the Hud- 
 son ran from the bay of your metropolis rapidly to the north. 
 Plant its shores, from the city to the Palisades, with bold head- 
 lands and ancient forests. At the Palisades, let the river break 
 off, and fall to the distance of between one and two hundred feet, 
 and then go heaving onward to Sing-Sing, through a huge natu- 
 ral canal, wide as itself, crowned, at the top of the high pre- 
 cipices which border its sides, with shaggy pines and hemlocks, 
 and flowery shrubs and parasites, where the vulture wheels, and 
 the boding owl makes his complaint at evening. This is a faint 
 idea of Niagara. You should sit for hours, in the eastern portico 
 of the Pavilion, looking at the waves as they rush over the 
 Horse-Shoe Fall. Continually, large masses of them, green as 
 the richest verd-antique, shoot in blended company down into 
 the * abysm of hell' beneath. From this point they are full of 
 beauty. Unable to keep together, they burst into foam ; so that 
 the continual recurrence of this has the effect of a long waste of 
 the finest embroidery, in flowers, leaves, and vines, on a ground 
 of green. Over them plays the rainbow, spanning them with its 
 heavenly arch, and shining lovingly upon the madness of which 
 it is created ; stretching itself to the distant island, where its 
 ethereal colors smile on the rich woods and golden waters. There, 
 in the portico aforesaid, is the place to sit and inly ruminate. I 
 saw one fat John Bull, ' a round and stocky man,' in a checked 
 travelling shirt, and a swallow-tailed coat, whose skirts were al- 
 most pulled round beneath his arms, standing like some corpu- 
 lent fowl on the last ledge of Table Rock, peering into the Falls, 
 then only about ten or twelve feet from his side, with a telescope 
 twice as long as his body ! It was a pure specimen of the sub- 
 lime and the ridiculous. 
 
 HERE let me play the counsellor to the visitor at Niagara. I 
 offer my opinion with confident diffidence. Doubtless you desire 
 to receive at the Falls, and to carry away with you, the strongest 
 impression. Do not therefore go down to the foot of the cata- 
 ract on the Canada side. Take your coup d'ceil as you drive in 
 your carriage to the Pavilion. Take your supper there, as did 
 the goodly company of your adviser, OLLAPOD. Supposing you
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 163 
 
 are an American which I trust you are you will of course 
 feel a sort of pride in believing that the best view is on the Amer- 
 ican side. And so it is : yet to look at the United States' part 
 of the cataract, you would say it was a mere mill-dam. It is 
 thus that distance deceives. You cannot see the movement of 
 that far-off water, or hear distinctly the horrid sound with which 
 it plunges from its cloud-kissing elevation to the depths below. 
 But if you would obtain the deepest and strongest thoughts of 
 Niagara, do as I say. Observe the semicircular cataract on the 
 Canada side from the esplanade of the Pavilion, but do not go 
 down to the base of the Fall. Let the view remain upon your 
 mind as a beautiful picture ; keep the music in your ear, for it 
 is a stern and many-toned music, that you cannot choose but 
 hear. Order the coachman to transport your luggage to the ferry 
 below the Falls some mile or so. There embark : you will 
 be frightened, doubtless, as you gaze to the south, and see the 
 awful torrent pouring down upon you ; but you may take the 
 word of the ferry-man that for some dozen or twenty years he has 
 never met with an accident : you may believe him, for the air of 
 truth breathes through his large grim whiskers. You will see the 
 waves curling their turbulent tops, and dark rocks emerging from 
 their milky current and seething foam, within a yard of your 
 prow but be not afraid. You are soon at the foot of 
 
 THE AMERICAN STAIR-CASE. 
 
 And here, after all, kind reader, is the place for a view. Do not 
 look about you much. Be content with the thunder in your ears, 
 and wait until some practised and tasteful observer, kindly acting 
 as your cicerone, bids you stop just at that point on the stair-case 
 where the plunging river, on the American side, dashes down- 
 ward in its propulsive journey. There, by the onward plunge 
 of the cataract, which bounds in a ridge over the abyss, descri- 
 bing as it were a circular fall, the view of Goat-Island is com- 
 pletely cut off, and the whole sweep of the Falls Canadian, 
 American, and all is seen at once; apparently one unbroken 
 waste of stormy and tumultuous waters. You must be a demi- 
 god, if you can stand on that hallowed ground, shaking with the 
 accents of a GOD, spanned with His bow, resounding with His 
 strength, and laughing in His smile, without emotions of inde- 
 scribable wonder. Thus, with a trembling hand, and a spirit 
 saturated with the grandeur of the scene, OLLAPOD pencilled his 
 hasty, weak, and inexpressive scrawl : 
 
 HERE speaks the voice of GOD ! Let man be dumb, 
 Nor, with his vain aspirings, hither come ;
 
 164 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 That voice impels these hollow-sounding floods, 
 And with its presence shakes the distant woods ; 
 These groaning rocks the ALMIGHTY'S finger piled ; 
 For ages here His painted bow has smiled ; 
 Mocking the changes and the chance of time 
 Eternal beautiful serene sublime ! 
 
 FOR the rest; as touching the sound of Niagara; our wan- 
 derings over Goat Island ; the fair friends we met perambulating 
 there ; with divers other peregrinations; the journey toward the 
 orient; the scenes of Lewiston, Queenston, Lockport, Roch- 
 ester that lovely and most hospitable city; shall they not be 
 presented to thee, kind reader, in the next subsections of 
 
 Thine, heartily, and to serve, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER SIXTEEN. 
 
 January, 1837. 
 
 BELOVED READER : We parted company at the foot of the 
 staircase, leading from the foamy current of Niagara up up, 
 as it were from the caverns of Pandemonium to Paradise to 
 ' the American side.' Let me act as a guide-book to your eyes, 
 while we proceed. 
 
 Look backward, occasionally, whenever you have opportunity, 
 through the apertures of your pathway, at the clouds of mist that 
 circle into rainbows around you, and at the milk-white torrent 
 which rolls and murmurs beneath. Far below you, ' moves 
 one that gathers luggage.' You shall see him with your trunks 
 and carpet-bags, climbing the dizzy steppes in your trail, the 
 omega of your party, until you find yourselves in the land of 
 Jonathan. 
 
 Apparently, you are in a forest. A few cottages are skirting 
 its edge, or the neighborhood round about ; but beyond, all seems 
 ancient and primeval. You almost look to encounter an Indian. 
 But the Great Cataract is at your side, and where it breaks off 
 into the cloudy eternity below, which now you cannot see, the 
 green verdure slopes to the very edge of the precipice, marked 
 with the shoe-prints of a thousand feet. What fairy shapes of 
 pretty soles are there ! Of some, OLLAPOD was constrained to 
 say, ' Surely, these delicate marks indicate that the pedal pres- 
 sure of those who made them would scarcely leave its impress 
 upon the fringed gentian, or the upspringing lily.' 
 
 Slowly and contemplatively we lingered about this haunted
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 16-5 
 
 and hollow-sounding region. It seemed, indeed, as if the earth 
 beneath, to its centre, and the heavens above, even to the abyss 
 of the empyrean, were shaking and vocal with ' the sound of 
 many waters.' There is no escaping from the voice of Niagara. 
 Go where you will ; wander for miles and miles from its green 
 and changeful vortex ; yet your ear drinks in its deep and solemn 
 melody. For me, in one hour during the many I passed in its 
 hearing, I deserted all my companions, and roamed for a league 
 into the melancholy shades. Was I beyond the warning that 
 Niagara was nigh ? Not so. On every gale came that vast and 
 solemn concert of water-sounds ; the humming middle-gush, the 
 high-measured roll and gurgle, the awful under-tone ! They 
 seemed to Jill all the air. It is not like thunder ; not like the 
 murmurs of the coming whirlwind, nor the troubled groan of a 
 volcano. It pervades the landscape round ; the leaves tremble 
 at its breath ; the bird shrieks, as if in fear, and springing from 
 the branch that overlooks the stream, soars through rainbows and 
 bright clouds beyond the scene. The cataract utters its horrid 
 whereabout on every breeze. You listen to its murmurs, until 
 the heart is intoxicated with their sublimity, and the eye moist 
 with emotion. Now they sound like the crackling flames, spread- 
 ing for leagues over mountain woodlands ; then like doleful bells, 
 heard at intervals in the pauses of a funeral ; then, like 
 
 ' The rolling of triumphant wheels, the harpings in the hall, 
 The far-off shouts of multitudes are in their rise and fall.' 
 
 Alternately stormy and plaintive, deep and faint, as the wings of 
 the wind aspire or are depressed, they create a mingled and 
 many-toned diapason, which, to be felt, must be heard ; and to 
 be heard, must be remembered for ever. They are like the 
 blast of the tempest, as described in ' The Auntient Marinere,' 
 
 when 
 
 ' his sails did sigh like sedge, 
 
 As the rain poured down from one black cloud, 
 
 While the moon was at its edge : 
 When the roaring wind did roar far off, 
 
 It did not come anear ; 
 But with its sound it shook the sails, 
 
 That were so thin and sere.' 
 
 Do NOT, good reader, go bounding rapidly through and among 
 the scenery on the American side of Niagara, with a fleet foot- 
 step and an unobservant eye, but use all gently. Thus did we. 
 Every tree you meet, almost, contains the initials of the thousands 
 who have come and gone from that overpowering and magnifi- 
 cent wonder. We pushed onward, without care or sorrow, filled
 
 166 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 and intoxicated with admiration, and wist not, as it were, whither 
 we went. 
 
 Crossing a fearful bridge, we reached Goat-Island ; but 
 OLLAPOD, lagging behind his less imaginative companions, stood 
 in the middle of that frail causeway, and listened and gazed upon 
 the mad waves of a river, as they dashed and growled beneath ; 
 seeming himself, meanwhile, to be rushing ' up stream,' as if 
 astride of a comet. Yet this river, as viewed from the Canada 
 side, appears like a silver ribbon, flaunting in bright relief against 
 a back-ground of sable rock, and forms but the merest tithe of 
 the American Fall. 
 
 How many sublime and pleasant recollections fill my mind, 
 as I call up, in the stillness of this autumnal and contemplative 
 evening, that magnificent scene ! In the quiet of my domestic 
 retirement, the last leaves of summer quivering at my window, 
 with low and melancholy whispers; pale statues (thou, Bard of 
 Eden, and thou, Swan of Avon, and ye, Muses of Greece, 
 whose presence still haunts, or seems to haunt, the olive woods, 
 by streams of old renown !) gleam, and send their shadows along 
 the wall ; but I go back, on the wings of memory, to those cloud- 
 less and soul-fraught hours, until the voice of Niagara is in my 
 ear, and the bounding impulse of its tide seems gathering in my 
 apartment. I am lost in recollection: 
 
 ' WHEN eve is purpling cliff and cave, 
 
 Thoughts of the heart ! how soft ye flow ! 
 Not softer, on the western wave 
 
 The golden lines of sunset glow. 
 Then all by chance or fate removed, 
 
 Like spirits, crowd upon the eye; 
 The few we liked the one we loved, 
 
 And all the heart is memory !' 
 
 THAT was a beautiful and placid face, which we encountered 
 on our way to the island ; yea, and a sweetly-moulded form. I 
 remember it well ; and so do all who have sojourned, transiently 
 or long, among the elysian bowers of New-Haven. Charming 
 DE F ! The queen of Commencements, and Junior Ex- 
 hibitions ! Cynosure of sophomore eyes, with an atmosphere 
 about thee of music and the frankincense of youth ! Idol of un- 
 hewn and wondering freshmen, who gaze at thee as they would 
 at a distant star, moving in brightness through the dark blue 
 depths of Heaven ! Who, wedded and blessed, or single and 
 hipped, but would look upon thee as a sumptuous and beauteous 
 picture? No one, be it confidently averred, in whose mind a
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 167 
 
 'taste for grace and loveliness were not ' clean gone for ever.' 
 Thou art associated in my memory with the sun-bows and green 
 woods and waters of Niagara ; and art destined there to last, 
 
 * Unto thylke day i' the which I shall crepe 
 Into my sepulchre.' 
 
 ONE thing will impress you, as you wander about Goat-Island. 
 After you have stood upon the high rocky tower, (connected by 
 a quivering plank, as it were, with the awful edge of the preci- 
 pice,) and looked for miles around you, upon a waste of stormy 
 waters, plunge at once into the quiet and wooded paths of the 
 island. Travel on on on. Now, you may fancy that you 
 are alone, and Niagara out of hearing. Is it so ? Pause a mo- 
 ment. There comes through the thick leaves and branches 
 around you, though you are far from the Falls, a many-toned 
 and hollow voice, which makes every leaf to tremble. The 
 light stems thrill to the rushing breath of the cataract. Yet it is 
 not sudden, like the sound of a cannon, or the pealing of the 
 thunder : it is constant, yet changeful ; heavy and solemn ; yet 
 at times, fairy and musical : but it Jills all the air. There is no 
 pause, no cessation, no stay. The roar is eternal. It is the ut- 
 terance of the GOD who lifted that horrid ledge into heaven, and 
 stretched that awful chasm for leagues toward the frozen pole. 
 
 FAIL not, tourist, to visit the Cave of the Winds, and to go 
 southwardly from the BIDDLE stair-case, under the American 
 ledge. Mind not the tempest, which will sweep over you occa- 
 sionally from the distant cataract, in a cloud of spray on the 
 wings of the gale. There is inspiration in the heart, as you in- 
 hale the awful hymn-notes of the torrent, and the freshness of 
 that watery air. It is like breathing upon a high mountain in 
 winter, above a wide plain, where a wider stretch of white fades 
 at last, on the edge of the horizon, into a universal blue. Look 
 up, ever and anon. How fearfully those heavy pines look over 
 the ledges, at the height of many a hundred feet ! There the 
 blue sky looks down upon you, and the fleecy cloud child of 
 the waters and the morning unfolds its skirts of fleecy gold! 
 Beautiful, awful, impressive scene ! 
 
 THEY told us a good story of an Irishman and Scotchman, 
 from Canada, who came on the American side last winter, to 
 settle an ancient grudge by fisticuffs. ' They fought like brave 
 men, long and well ;' long hung the contest doubtful ; and the 
 by-standers wist not which should prevail ; whether or shamrock
 
 168 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 or thistle. At last the antagonists fell to the ground ; they rolled 
 to the edge of the river ; one, minus his linsey-woolsey coat-tail, 
 clung to some shrubbery on the precipitous bank ; the other fell 
 to the distance of sixty feet, saving his life by striking among 
 the thick boughs of a parasitical tree growing out of the rock, and 
 festooned with thick vines, the seed of which some wandering 
 breeze had wafted to a fissure in the rock, where it had been 
 nourished by the presence of leaf-dust and spray, until it had 
 flourished into strong and vigorous fertility. The discomfited 
 warrior was drawn up by a rope, let down for his aid, and hooked 
 to his wounded inexpressibles, having fallen only a small part 
 of the distance to the river's bed. 
 
 A DAY or two (employed in good dinners at the Cataract 
 House, a personal inspection and liberal purchases of Indian 
 gimcrackeries on the Island, leave-takings with friends, appoint- 
 ments for Saratoga, Rockaway, Trenton, or Newport) can be 
 passed richly at Niagara. If you have an ounce of poetry 
 about you, reader, remain there until you can go the whole cir- 
 cuit on every side, and in every quarter ALONE. Go out, free 
 from all human presence, and hold communion with your GOD. 
 So shall you bring away with you cherished and kindling thoughts, 
 never to die. 
 
 WE bowled briskly away from the Cataract Hotel, one rainy 
 afternoon ; the mud was up to the axle of our extra ; and as we 
 wheeled around an opening through the thick shrubbery, on our 
 way to Lewiston, not far from the The DcviVs Hole, a polite 
 name given to a horrid chasm in the rocky wall which bounds 
 Niagara on either side, from Queenston to the Pavilion, I caught 
 my parting view of The Wonder. Down rolled that heavy 
 stretch of wide and foaming waters, the spray rising in clouds 
 from its base ; the wreathing vapors making themselves wings for 
 the wind, and ready to sail away, like airy messengers, perhaps 
 to be steeped in sunlight over Lake Erie, so that they which but 
 a little while before were mounting with thunder in their bosoms, 
 could soar away and be at rest. 
 
 As you journey to the North, Dan Tourist, forget not to pause 
 on the brow of that long hill which overlooketh the old town of 
 Queenston, in Canada, the monument of BROCK, and eke the 
 town of Lewiston on the republican side. As we neared this 
 spot, the sun broke out from his hiding place, and diffused over 
 the landscape, for many, many leagues, a sweet and melancholy
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 169 
 
 smile. Magnificent sight ! The monument, arose like a shaft 
 of ebony against a sky of the richest crimson. Old Niagara 
 went meandering onward to Ontario, like a vast serpent of gold, 
 creeping through a landscape of surpassing loveliness. The 
 Mother and the Daughter of two countries seemed brought to- 
 gether in loving propinquity ; and the hills afar, the vales be- 
 tween, ' the rain drops glittering on the trees around,' and the 
 trembling leaves, gave melody to the breeze and beauty to the 
 eye. 
 
 BEFORE we supped, I opened the window of our hostelrie at 
 Lewiston, to catch the last sound of the Falls. On the fitful 
 gusts, and swayed to full or gentle modulations by the creeping 
 tides of air that swept through the twilight, came ' the voice of 
 many waters.' Harp sublime ! Anthem unending ! Organ of 
 the ALMIGHTY ! I seem to hear thee still ! 
 
 IF you visit Niagara, I think I would perform the journey in 
 October. Oh, when the trees are clothed in their many-colored 
 autumnal robes ; when the day-god goes to his rest as a monarch 
 goes to his slumbers, drawing around him his curtains of purple 
 and gold ; when the mellow fruits drop richly from the trees in 
 thine orchard ; when the honey-locust leaf, or ' ash, deep crim- 
 soned,' falls to the ground ; 
 
 ' When the sound of dropping nuts is heard, though all the leaves are still, 
 And twinkle in the smoky light the waters of the rill.' 
 
 then go to Niagara. You will return with the chastening solem- 
 nity of the season upon you ; with emblems of eternity in your 
 mind ; with remembered whispers of a GOD sounding in your 
 ear, and with thanks to HIM 
 
 'Who made the world, an.d heaped the waters far 
 Above its loftiest mountains.' 
 
 STOOD at the door of the Cataract Hotel, on the American, 
 side, while the postilion was placing their ' travelling dress' upon, 
 his cattle, and watched a handsome squaw trudge through the 
 heavy rain, with a papoose, or young baby, at her back, covered 
 with a white blanket, and suspended by a wampum belt from her 
 forehead. How statelily she stepped ! She had the walk of an 
 empress, as she bounded away into the woods. Poor soul ! 
 Probably on her way to her lonely wigwam, to lament in the 
 autumn, when the sun goes down in an ocean of rainbow-colored
 
 170 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 foliage, and the wilderness echoes to the moan of the dying year, 
 the departing glories of her race, 
 
 ' Like thee, thou sun, to die.' 
 
 EXCEEDINGLY amused at the air and manner of a decided 
 * loafer,' a sentimentalist withal, and a toper, who had come out of 
 his way from Buffalo to see the Falls. 'Landlord!' said he, to 
 the Boniface of the Cataract, ' and you, gentlemen, who stand on 
 this porch, witnessing this pitiless rain, you see before you one 
 who has a tempest of sorrows a-beatin' upon his head continually. 
 Wanst I was wo'th twenty thousand dollars, and I driv the sad- 
 dling profession. Circumstances alters cases ; now I wish for to 
 solicit charity. Some of you seems benevolent, and I do be- 
 lieve I am not destined to rank myself among those who could 
 travel from Dan to Beersheba, and say all is barren. No, I scorn 
 to brag ; but I am intelligent beyond my years, and my educa- 
 tion has been complete. I have read Wolney's Ruins, Mar- 
 shall's Life of Washington, and Pope's Easy on Man, and most 
 of the literature of the day, as contained in the small newspapers. 
 But the way I'm situated at present, is scandalous. The fact is, 
 my heart is broke, and I'm just Ishmaelizing about the globe, 
 with 'a sombre brow, and a bosom laden with wo. Who will 
 help me speak singly, gentlemen who will 'ease my griefs, 
 and drive my cares away ?' as Isaac Watts says, in one of his 
 devotional poems.' 
 
 No answer was returned. A general laugh arose. The pride 
 of the mendicant was excited : rage got the better of his hu- 
 mility ; and shaking his fist in the face of the by-standers, he 
 roared out : 
 
 ' You're all a pack of poor, or'nary common people. You 
 insult honest poverty ; but I do not ' hang my head for a' that,' 
 as Burns says. I will chastise any man here, for two three-cent 
 drinks of Monagohale whiskey ; yes, though I have but lately 
 escaped shipwreck, coming from Michigan to Buffalo, and am 
 weak from loss of strength ; yet I will whip the best of you. Let 
 any on ye come over to the Black Rock Rail-road Dee-pott, and 
 I'll lick him like a d nT 
 
 * Never mind that,' said one ; ' tell us about the shipwreck.' 
 
 'Ah!' he continued, 'that was a scene! Twenty miles out 
 at sea, on the lake ; the storm bustin' upon the deck ; the waves, 
 like mad tailors, making breeches over it continually ; the light- 
 nings a bustin' overhead, and hissing in the water ; the clouds 
 meeting the earth; the land just over the lee-bow; every mast 
 in splinters ; every sail in rags ; women a-screechin' ; farmers'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 wives emigratin' to the west calling for their husbands ; and hell 
 yawnin' all around ! A good many was dreadfully sea-sick ; and 
 one man, after casting forth everything beside, with a violent 
 retch, threw up his boots. Oh, gentlemen, it was awful ! At 
 length came the last and destructivest billow. It struck the ship 
 on the left side, in the neighborhood of the poop, and all at 
 wanst I felt something under us breakin' away. The vessel was 
 parting ! One half the crew was drowned ; passengers was pray- 
 ing, and commending themselves to heaven. I alone, escaped 
 the watery doom.' 
 
 ' And how did you manage to redeem yourself from destruc- 
 tion ?' was the general inquiry. 
 
 ' Why, gentlemen, the fact is, I seen how things was a-goin', 
 and I took my hat and went ashore /' 
 
 The last I saw of this Munchausen,Vas as our coach wheeled 
 away. He had achieved a ' drink,' and was perambulating 
 through the mud, lightened, momentarily, of his sorrows. 
 
 As you journey to the North, from Niagara to Lewiston, you 
 catch, ever and anon, through the leafy screen of the trees, dis- 
 tant views of the Great Cataract. In the pauses of your carriage 
 wheels, come the thunder of the torrent and the dimness of the 
 spray. On your left, there is ' a great gulf fixed ,' to which the 
 Gulf of Hades might be imagined to have resemblance. Now 
 and then, crowned with glittering rainbows, you see the Falls, like 
 the ' great white sheet let down from Heaven,' as beheld of old 
 in the portable larder that met the apostle's startled vision. Then 
 a thickening cloud of spray, filled with ' thunderings and voices,' 
 hides it from your view. Mile after mile, you continue your 
 tour, the great Gulf still at your side, the complaining river roll- 
 ing apparently leagues beneath you ; horrid chasms and frowning 
 precipices, around whose bases the foaming waves eddy and 
 howl ; until, by and by, you ascend that incomparable hill which 
 overlooks the scenes of Lewiston and Queenston. The delight- 
 ed eye beholds the sinking current grow calmer and calmer ; the 
 blue vistas of Canadian woods and plains stretch themselves in 
 blending colors and undulations to the far and fairy radius of the 
 horizon ; and as the river rolls onward to the Ontario, like a huge 
 serpent of gold winding through the landscape ; as the tall shaft 
 of BROCK'S monument paints its delicate outline against the even- 
 ing sky, and the fainter sound of the distant cataract is taken on 
 the freshening wind, among the far-off cedars, waving against a 
 gush of farewell crimson in the west ; the scene is inspiration, 
 and the place becomes religion.
 
 172 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 WHILE our supper was in preparation at Lewiston, I opened 
 the window which looked toward the South, in the direction 
 whence we had come. Haply, thought I, the cataract may yet 
 send its farewell voice to my ear. I listened attentively, auribus 
 erectis, and solemnly on the swelling gusts and creeping murmurs 
 of the evening, as they rose and fell, swayed by the sweeping of 
 the tides of air, came the majestic hum and air-tremble of the 
 Falls !* How impressive was that sound ! Throned afar in the 
 forest ; sceptred with its gorgeous coronet of lunar rainbows ; its 
 regal impulse rushing through the darkness on the wings of the 
 wind ; Niagara lifted to heaven its vocal and eternal anthem ! How 
 many generations, thought I, shall come and go ; how many- 
 loving hearts go back to dust ; how many lips be dumb in death, 
 
 and their soft breath with pain 
 
 Be yielded to the elements again, 
 
 before Niagara shall be tuneless, or its stormy tones be muffled ! 
 Power more than kingly ! Voice, louder and steadier than the 
 clangor of battle, or the peal of the ephemeral earthquake, ingulf- 
 ing plains and cities ! In the language of the bard, ' Thy days 
 are everlasting !' Thou earnest from the palm of HIM who hath 
 measured the earth, and who sees the pestilence stain the noon- 
 day at his bidding ! Who that breathes, will ever behold the 
 consummation of thy destiny ? None ! Autumn after autumn, 
 with its gold-dropping orchards, its painted woodlands and hollow 
 sighs shall come and go ; spring will prank the earth with vio- 
 lets and verdure ; summer shall glow, and deadly winter pale the 
 earth ; but over all thou will triumph, until this sphere shall 
 heave at the voice of the ALMIGHTY, and the trump of the Arch- 
 angel ! 
 
 OF the road from Lewiston to Lockport, and of that famous 
 country town, what shall I say ? I would say nothing but I 
 must say something. I feel in the predicament wherein is placed 
 DEITNIS BULGRUDDERY, in the play, with respect of his rib. 
 ' I can hear nothing bad of her,' he says to a guest at the ' Red 
 Cow,' which hotel he kept ; ' you can say nothing good of her, 
 without telling ad d lie ; and in coorse, the less you say, the 
 better.' Thus I am situated and circumstanced, as touching the 
 road and last place herein before mentioned. 
 
 With a postillion (of the just-adopted Telegraph) dressed in a 
 flaming red coat, for which he had exchanged his own for a ' con- 
 sideration,' with a deserting private in the Canadian army, we 
 
 * THERE la a repetition of certain impressions here, owing to a misdirection on the original 
 MS. I have thought it best, however, to retain the original form. EDITOR.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 173 
 
 pushed slowly on from Lewiston to Lockport. Mud, without 
 end or bottom, alluvial pudding, thickened and gurgled on every 
 side. Postillion was not to be hurried. No ; ' he was a free 
 Amerikin driver, be Gosh,' was his reply to one or two Birming- 
 ham or Sheffield agents, hastening homeward in the next packet 
 from New York ; ' and he guessed that anybody that went for to 
 stir him up in the lively line, would get crucified and come over, 
 almighty slick.' And he kept his word. Through pools, and 
 over particularly stony and dangerous spots, he wended swift as 
 Phaeton with his aerial team ; but where the thoroughfare was 
 good, a snail would have distanced his lagging move. 
 
 LOCKPORT is famous for its deep cut in the canal. Repre- 
 sentations of this great achievement I had seen in print, and had 
 supposed that it was a marvel of the first water. It came to pass, 
 therefore, when we saw the sole steeple of the village rising over 
 a level country in the east, that we looked earnestly for the Deep 
 Cut. We continued to gaze until we had reached the hotel, 
 when we sallied forth in the rain, with a friend or two, in rabid 
 quest of the wonder. The first view we obtained was from the 
 village bridge. Never was there a more complete disappointment. 
 The line of the canal, to the west, appears very like its usual long 
 and snake-like length ; and I put it to the reader, if one very of- 
 ten looks upon a more common thing than a canal, after you have 
 travelled across, and alongside, and around it, for some two or 
 three hundred miles ? This, then, was the Deep Cut ! Oh, 
 minimum of marvels ! A look or two was suffegeance. It was 
 a rainy day ; the village grocers were taking in their cod-fish and 
 fly-bespotted macaroni ; every thing was gloomy and dismal : 
 consequently it was resolved nem. con., to give the Deep Cut a 
 dead cut, which was suddenly performed. 
 
 In the lower town, our vehicular machinery stuck fast in the 
 mud. This afforded time for a maiden lady, of whom I shall 
 speak anon, to sally forth from an indifferent-looking domicil, 
 near the upper quartier, and take her seat. At last the embed- 
 ded wheels asserted their freedom, and went gushing along at the 
 rate of a mile an hour, precisely like the pawing wheels of a 
 steamboat in a heavy sea on Long Island Sound. 
 
 STOPPED a few minutes to say how-d'ye-do to a clever rela- 
 tion. Found ample time for my purpose, while the coach was 
 lumbering by. Looked out from his handsome law-office upon 
 a wide domain of mud, and meadows filled with stumps, and
 
 174 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 ancient logs, reeking with the rain. Everything looked remorse- 
 lessly unprepossessing. The clay in the road was of a yellowish 
 cream color, some unifprm fifteen inches deep, beside. Anathe- 
 matized the town to my sometime companion, averring solemnly 
 unto him, that if Lockport were built of ducats, and the abdomen 
 of every little hill in its neighborhood pregnant with precious 
 stones and jewels, I would not there reside. I still hold my 
 mind ; but mayhap a fair day, a robe of sunshine over that re- 
 gion, and other appliances and pleasaunces to boot, would have 
 altered my opinions. But what I 've writ, I Ve writ ; perchance 
 unjustly to the place. But ' situated, and I might add, circum- 
 stanced as I was,' and with my present memories, I must say 
 ' them's my sentiments.' Fair words I blow to the winds, and 
 candor reigns supreme. Yet I have heard those whose judgment 
 is law with me on the subject of scenery, declare that Lockport 
 is possessed of delightful haunts ; that the neighborhood around 
 is like a paradise, in summer. I will believe them ; and I charge 
 the elements with the verdict of my first impressions. 
 
 WE soon found that the maiden lady who entered at Lockport 
 was a person of great scholastic acquirements, and of a very com- 
 municative turn of mind. A few miles from that town, (which 
 whoso entereth, if in our way of thought, will reach without emo- 
 tion and leave without regret,) we entered, out of a lonely and 
 muddy turnpike, much the same as that at Lockport, upon that 
 delectable road, denominated Ridge. It is good in rain or shine. 
 Some inquiries being made, whether we were not on better 
 ground, the maiden oped her vocal orifice, and observed : 'A'yes ; 
 that were the Ridge-d Road which we have stricken, on the 
 brow of the hill, o'er which the driver have just riz !' 
 
 Shortly after this, she abdicated, and was deposited at the 
 house of a friend by the way-side. 
 
 WHAT shall I say of Rochester, one of the Queens of the 
 West ? The approach to it is through a delicious country, that 
 will yet be cultured by the hand of taste into a very Eden. What 
 fair embowered towns, with their white steeples, occur at inter- 
 vals on every side ! What a sweet and rosy generation is rising 
 around ! We saw them, as it were, by legions ; fine healthy re- 
 sponsibilities, courtesying or bowing to the traveller, their shining 
 faces illumined with intelligence, made brighter at the school 
 from which they went and came. 
 
 The entrance to Rochester, from the West, is impressive by 
 contrast ; and when you are once rattling over its pavements, and
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 175 
 
 through its long streets, you fancy yourself in New York, or eke 
 in Philadelphia. The suburbs are beautiful. I envied so deep- 
 ly the lot of some certain friends who escorted us along the banks 
 of the fair Genesee, and showed us the -Falls of that charming 
 river, that their residences still rise to my eye as the very acme 
 of rural establishments. From the roof of one, (which must be a 
 palace anon,) I looked down upon flowery walks, the sparkling cat- 
 aract, the vast pine forests to the north ; the blue Ontario beyond ; 
 the city, with its turrets, some of which are like those which peer 
 above an old feudal town in Europe; upon rail-cars rattling to and 
 fro, while the horns of canal-men came musically upon the breeze ; 
 upon the shady dwellings of good old friends in the suburbs ; and 
 as I looked, I said, ' This shall be glorified by Ollapod /' 
 
 IN a survey of the environs of Rochester, there is enough to 
 kindle the dullest imagination. Prophecy itself will be distanced 
 in its predictions by the swift-coming future. To-day, you 
 may wander over a flowery meadow, or through the tangled 
 thickets of a forest, scarcely as yet redeemed from the darkness 
 of the past ; to-morrow, the new street springs into being ; the 
 bustle of trade fills the late quiet atmosphere ; the flouring mill 
 sends its busy wheels round and round ; the clink of the black- 
 smith's hammer, the hum of the cotton-gin, the saw of the car- 
 penter : all the sounds and sights of city life, greet your ear and 
 your vision. As I journeyed with attentive friends in the suburbs, 
 I pointed out to them places where country seats could be erect- 
 ed, in the most calm and poetical retreats. Alas ! I found too 
 soon, that these sweet recesses were already marked out in vil- 
 lage lots, and that within * an incredibly short space of time,' 
 they would be converted into paved thoroughfares, and manufac- 
 turing or commercial blocks ! 
 
 One sees enough in these embryo cities of the West, to dis- 
 suade him from anything like prophecy. The barren place, 
 touched by the wand of enterprise, springs at once into newness 
 of life : a community, famed for pure morality, and the honest 
 but unbending and resolute energies of its members, as in the 
 case of Rochester, goes on from strength to strength, until its 
 friends become surprised with unexpected triumphs, the traveller 
 amazed at the increase of population, and the patriot charmed 
 with the prospect of days to come. For me, there is something 
 of sadness in this stirring and changeful scene. By and by, the 
 music of the pine will be lost to the gale ; the cataract will min- 
 ister to the stomachs of a voracious public ; and the wave that 
 laughed and tumbled picturesquely in the sunshine, will be se-
 
 176 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 ducecl into the mill-race, or made to minister to the dollar-and- 
 cent gyrations of the spinning jenny ! Oh, dreadful profanation! 
 But few will lament the loss of the forest or the torrent, when 
 the ' almighty dollar' can be made, by their subserviency or their 
 removal, to propagate and fructify ! 
 
 WKLL perhaps it is best. You can not satisfy one gastro- 
 nomic craving with a green tree or a golden sunset ; and a water- 
 fall butters no parsnips. Your turnip will not come from a cloud, 
 nor will your requisite potato drop from a rainbow. Neither do 
 beef-steaks come from the moon. Wherefore, while there are 
 abdominal cavities to be refreshed, for the benefit of frail human- 
 ity ; while rosy lips are but the glowing gateways of pork, and 
 beans, and cabbage ; while these exist, with their diurnal wants 
 and requirements, it will be quite useless to gainsay their de- 
 mands, or to sentimentalize upon their unpoetical aspects. 
 
 Wherefore, I pray and beseech of you, worthy reader, not to 
 expect that I shall, on every occasion, burst forth, like a steamer 
 at the highest heat, into the misty utterance of poetry and of 
 romance. Let us congratulate each other upon our country. ' It 
 is a glorious one do n't you think so ? Are you an American ? 
 Give us your hand ! You like the stars, the eagle, and the 
 stripes do you not? Give us another grip ! We shall shortly 
 meet again. Are you going? Give us a lock of your hair. 
 No? Well never mind; we shall meet again. Till then, 
 GOD bless you! Ever thine, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER SEVENTEEN. 
 
 March, 1837. 
 
 ' GIVE you good den,' Reader. We have been deprived of 
 each other's companionship for several weeks, and for my part I 
 am becoming lonesome without your eye. I love that you should 
 scrutinize my sentences ; appreciate a good thing, if I happen to 
 acquit myself thereof ; and use that thrice blessed quality of for- 
 giveness with respect to a bad one. It pleases me to think that 
 eyes whose mortal glance will probably never meet my own, may 
 linger for a moment on my page, and that some thought may be 
 conveyed, through those starry and lustrous media, to a spirit not 
 displeased.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 177 
 
 SOME of my contemporaries have supposed that the estate of 
 a Benedict forbiddeth the resident therein to disport himself as 
 aforetime, in the flowery fields of fancy, and to ambulate at ran- 
 dom through the remembered groves of the academy, or the rich 
 gardens of imaginative delight. Verily this is not so. To the 
 right-minded man, all these enjoyments are increased ; the ties 
 that bind him to earth are strengthened and multiplied : he anti- 
 cipates new affections and pleasures, which your cold individual, 
 careering solus through a vale of tears, with no one to share with 
 him his gouts of optical salt water, wots not of. As a beloved 
 friend once said unto me : ' When a good man weds, as when 
 he dies, angels lead his spirit ?nto a quiet land, full of holiness 
 and peace ; full of all pleasant sights, and ' beautiful exceeding- 
 ly.' One's dreams may no-' all be realized, for dreams never are ; 
 but the reality will differ from, and be a thousand fold sweeter, 
 than any dreams ; those shadowy and impalpable though gor- 
 geous enitties, that flk over the twilight of the soul, after the sun 
 of judgment has set. 1 never hear of a friend having accomplish- 
 ed hymenization, without sending after him a world of good 
 wishes and honest prayers. Amid the ambition, the selfishness, 
 the heartless jostling with the world, which every son of Adam is 
 obliged more or less to encounter, it is no common blessing to 
 retire therefrom into the calm recesses of domestic existence, and 
 to feel around your temples the airs that are wafted from fragrant 
 wings of me Spirit of Peace, soft as the breath which curled the 
 crystal Jight 
 
 ' of Zion's fountains, 
 
 When love, and hope, and joy were hers, 
 And beautiful upon her mountains, 
 The feet of angel messengers.' 
 
 No common boon is it we speak in the rich sentence of a 
 German writer to enjoy 'a look into a pure loving eye; a 
 word without falseness, from a bride without guile ; and close be- 
 side you in the still watches of the night, a soft-breathing breast, 
 in which there is nothing but paradise, a sermon, and a midnight 
 prayer !' 
 
 OLD JOHN MILTON, whose pale statue looks down upon me 
 with ' ful gret solempnite' from his niche, as I write, enlarges 
 with great gusto upon the married state, and his verdict has been 
 quoted a thousand times ; but I believe that respectable gentle- 
 man, and tolerable author, found at last that the state matrimo- 
 nial, as far as himself was concerned, was not so delectable as 
 the airy tongue of fancy had syllabled to his ear. But the truth 
 
 12
 
 178 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 is, Milton was not a fair judge. He was no more fitted to pos- 
 sess a wife, than Richard the Third was. The reason is obvious. 
 He was engaged in the construction of gorgeous castles in the 
 air : spirits that ' play i' the plighted clouds' were his familiars ; 
 and the battles that he superintended in heaven, and the hot work 
 that he had of it in the other place, were enough to keep him in 
 a perfect and constant fever. How could such a man come down 
 to the bread-and-butter concerns of every day life? the gentle 
 hint of Mr. Russell the tailor, with whom he boarded in Bunhill 
 Fields, that it was about time to elevate the pecuniary quid pro 
 quo for victuals and drink that had fulfilled their offices in his in- 
 carnate tabernacle ? How could he go to the green grocer's and 
 get a cabbage for Mrs. Milton, or anything of that sort, when he 
 was busy m populating Pandemonium ? or see about procuring 
 for himself a new pair of unwhisperablt* from his host, when he 
 was engaged in arranging a throne for Apollyon, and drawing the 
 convention of his peers together, to make speeches, and discuss 
 matters of public interest ? Indeed, his kingdom was not of this 
 world ; his mind soared away from the dim dust and smoke of 
 London, up to the gates of Paradise, to pastures of eternal ver- 
 dure, rivers of refreshing waters, and thoroughfares, of bullion, 
 glistering in the violet and golden radiance of an unfading sky. 
 Supposing that one of his little responsibilities had bawled in his 
 ear for a sugar-plum, just at the moment when he had got Satan 
 into one of his heaviest fights, a kind of gravy running from his 
 wounds ? Would he not have exclaimed, petulantly, (in the iden- 
 tical words which he puts into the mouth of the Arch-fiend,) < Oh 
 hell!' It is quite likely; and perhaps followed up the ejacula- 
 tion with a box upon the ear of the young offender. The truth 
 is, he was always in nubibus, or else above them ; his mental 
 retina expanding, and drinking in the imperishable and glorious 
 prospects of the upper world. He had not the serenity of Shaks- 
 peare. His wing was not so strong ; but like ' the sail broad 
 vans' of the Great Enemy, he waved them as if they were moved 
 by the impetuous rush of a whirlwind. For the common things 
 of this work-day world, he cared little or nothing. He was 
 among men, but not of them. The only woman that he ever sin- 
 cerely loved, was Eve. He attended to her with constant devo- 
 tion. He prankt her pathway with roses : he spread around her 
 the amaranth bowers and banks of Eden and Asphodel ; and the 
 land which he bequeathed her, was, to use the language of an 
 auctioneer's advertisement, ' well watered and timbered.' He 
 hated Satan ' as he did the devil ;' and I am inclined to think 
 that he has exaggerated the demerits of that famous individual.
 
 OLLAPODTANA. 179 
 
 But I am wandering. I demand back my spirit for other 
 matters. 
 
 READER o' mine, have you been sleighing this winter ? There 
 were some three days of the genuine weather for that object, in 
 the Philadelphia meridian, and the improvement thereof was 
 great. Every one partook of the general joy. Little dogs ran 
 like mad through the streets, and their barks were a mingling of 
 laughter and yell, evidently the produce of excessive animal 
 spirits. It was delightful to embark in a full sleigh, bells ringing 
 cheerfully in the ear, the city lessening in the distance at one's 
 back, and the broad white waste of the country expanding to the 
 eye ! There is a sense of chastened solemnity about the dull 
 brown woods, mingling afar with the pale blueness of the distance, 
 and the crimson of an evening sky, fading gradually behind their 
 branches. 
 
 ' While soft, on icy pool and stream, 
 Their pencilled shadows fall.' 
 
 I hardly know of anything which carries me more forcibly back 
 to younger and purer days, than a winter's scene. There is 
 something in sleigh-ride remembrances that stirs a potent witche- 
 ry of pleasure in the very depths of the heart. Sometimes when, 
 after a heavy fall of snow, a southern wind has arisen, bringing 
 rain upon its wings, and when the breath of Boreas has afterward 
 breathed over it, in competition with his opposite neighbor, a 
 a gloss shines over the whole face of the earth ; and, as the sun 
 rises or goes down, the entire radius of the horizon seems like a 
 waving ocean of blue and gold ! Then to see the sun go down, 
 or to see it rise ! Then to see the large dazzling stars in the 
 vault of midnight, or the moon walking in brightness, or sus- 
 pended like a vast balloon of transparent light in heaven ! Then 
 the soul goes up to GOD : there is an eloquence in the stillness 
 of the night ; the ear hums with silence, and fairy voices seem 
 breathing from the snow. The unclouded grandeur of Omnipo- 
 tence kindles the mind ; there is solemnity in the howl of the 
 watch-dog from the hill-side ; in the sluggish clouds, rolling 
 their languid and fleecy skirts upward from the horizon. 
 
 SLEIGH-RIDING and skating are my delights. Give me a sat- 
 isfactory pair of high-dutchers, curled fantastically over the toe of 
 my boots, the straps nicely adjusted, the line of steel ringing and 
 thrilling along my sole, the Delaware or Fair-Mount dam for my 
 theatre, and I can enact more wonders than a man ; playing such 
 tricks before high heaven, that a disinterested angel might bend
 
 180 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 complacently from his pavilion in the upper air, to scrutinize my 
 gyrations, and see how I performed. 
 
 Sliding down the hill, on the other hand, is an eminent bore. 
 I wonder at my urchin infatuation in having ever patronized it. 
 There is such a world of labor, and such a meager amount of 
 pleasure. One half of it, to use an appropriate phrase, is ' up- 
 hill business.' If there are any young countrymen among my 
 readers who have a lake in their neighborhood, I can tell them 
 of a system greatly in vogue when I was a student. The follow- 
 ing is the recipe : 
 
 Take a pole, say twenty feet long ; place it on a little upright 
 stick of wood, cut so that at the top two branches may be re- 
 moved, so as to be something in the shape of a letter Y : let this 
 be fastened in solid ice, when the lake is right firmly encrusted, 
 and safe as a floor : then place the pole at the bottom of the 
 triangle described by the branches of the upright stick ; let a long 
 rope be at the end of the pole, and at the end of the rope a sled, 
 with runners that cross each other at right angles, under a high 
 box, filled with boys and girls, properly seated. Two stout fel- 
 lows can easily turn the pole in the cavity of the Y, something in 
 the way in which an oar is pulled in a regatta. Wait a moment, 
 reader, I beseech you, and see the effect, when the impulse has 
 crept to the rope's end. The sled starts like a comet behind 
 time : it describes a far-off circle, widening and widening ; the 
 passengers can scarcely sde ; they breathe quickly but happily ; 
 and I verily believe that (being conscious of safety, even were 
 the ice as thin as a wafer,) any goodly company of young people 
 thus engaged can enjoy a very satisfactory prologue to the sen- 
 sations of an aeronant on a trip, and feel as Virgil did when he 
 begged Maecenas to rank him among the lyric poets : 
 
 ' Sublimi feriam sidera vertice.' 
 
 TALKING of poets and prologues, bids me discourse of the 
 great merit of ^SHAKSPEARE in these impressive productions. 
 His prologues are seldom spoken ; stage people exclude them 
 from the .public, and it is only now and then that they become 
 closet familiars with the scholar. Shakspeare's prologues teem 
 with meaning and description. Strong, brief, and simple, they 
 are yet full of adventure and action. Take the following as an 
 example. It is the opening of ' Troilus and Crcssida :' 
 
 ' IN Troy there lies the scene. From isles of Greece, 
 The princes orgulous, their high-blood chafed, 
 Have to the port of Athens sent their ships, 
 Fraught with the ministers and instruments
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 181 
 
 Of cruel war. Sixty and nine that wore 
 
 Their crownets regal, from th' Athenian bay 
 
 Put forth toward Phrygia ; and their vow is made 
 
 To ransack Troy ; within whose strong immures 
 
 The ravisht Helen, Menelaus' queen, 
 
 With wanton Paris sleeps and that's the quarrel. 
 
 ' To Tenedos they come ; 
 And the deep-drawing barks do there disgorge 
 Their warlike fraughtage : now, on Dardan plains, 
 The fresh and yet unbruiesd Greeks do pitch 
 Their brave pavilions : Priam's six-gated city, 
 Dardan and Tymbria, Ilias, Chetas, Trojan, 
 And Antenorides, with massy staples, 
 And corresponsive and fulfilling bolts, 
 Skerrup the sons of Troy,' etc. 
 
 WELL, after all, life itself is but a dim prologue to that day 
 of days, when the curtain of eternity will be lifted, and ' the 
 swelling act' begin ! The thought is a deep one. Here, we are 
 begirt with mystery. The Past rises with its shadows, only to 
 the eye of Imagination : of the Wrong that has flourished and 
 been successful, we know not yet the destiny ; of the Right that 
 has suffered, in weariness and painfulness, we know not the re- 
 ward. Who shall unravel the marvel, or dispel the illusion? 
 Of the events which happened, reader, when we were yet ' in the 
 dark night of our fore-beings,' or ever the stars, or the moon 
 walking in brightness, or the sun glorious shadow and faint 
 type of GOD! had touched our mortal vision, who shall tell? 
 The time gone is a dream ; the time to come, unknown. Tru- 
 ly did one of yore say, as he discoursed of sepulchral mementoes, 
 and turned his thoughts to the lofty structures of Egyptian ambi- 
 tion : ' Time sadly overcometh all things, and is now dominant, 
 and sitteth upon a sphynx, and looketh unto Memphis and old 
 Thebes ; while his sister, Oblivion, reclineth semi-somnous on a 
 pyramid, making puzzles of Titanian erections, and turning old 
 glories into dreams. History sinketh beneath her cloud. The 
 traveller, as he paceth amazedly through those deserts, asketh of 
 her who builded them, and she mumbleth something, but what it 
 is, he heareth not.' Thus it is, that the position of our being de- 
 fies all primary or ultimate inquiry. If we look back, there is a 
 point where knowledge fades into conjecture ; if onward, we 
 stand upon the border of a sea which has but one shore, and 
 whose heavings beyond are infinite and eternal ! Of what avail 
 is it, then, that we bend over the lore of antiquity, or wax pale 
 over the lamp of midnight ; that we walk in the fields, catching 
 the faint utterance of the voice of GOD ? We spend our strength
 
 182 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 for naught : the clouds roll with an uncomprehended impulse ; 
 the wave heaves, the verdure brightens, the wind turneth in its 
 circuits but what are we? We drink the sunshine and the 
 breeze ; passions warm us ; doubt overshadows, hope inspires, 
 fear haunts us : but we are still in mystery. Pleasure and pain 
 are equally uncertain ; the morrow is in a mist, and yesterday is 
 nothing. Our friends die ; GOD changes their countenance and 
 takes them away ; and where is the balm for so bitter a sting ? 
 It is to consider the earth as no abiding place ; to rely on a power 
 beyond our own ; to disdain the sneer of the bigot, the hot 
 language of the zealot, and to cherish in one's heart of hearts 
 that essence of the beatitudes the religion of life. 
 
 LET no vain hopes deceive the mind : 
 No happier let us hope to find 
 
 To-morrow than to-day : 
 Our golden dreams of yore were bright 
 Like them the present shall delight, 
 
 Like them decay. 
 
 Our lives like hastening streams must be, 
 That into one engulfing sea 
 
 Are doomed to fall : 
 
 The sea of death whose waves roll on, 
 O'er king and kingdom, crown and throne, 
 
 And swallow all ! 
 
 Alike the river's lordly pride, 
 Alike the humble rivulet's glide 
 
 To that sad wave ; 
 Death levels poverty and pride, 
 And rich and poor sleep side by side, 
 
 Within the grave ! 
 
 To this complexion at last must we come ; and our question- 
 ings of the elements, or of the mind, are alike in vain. How 
 often has passionate Grief invoked the hosts of heaven to restore 
 the lost ! Yet when the clod has once fallen with its hollow 
 sound upon the coffin lid ; when its melancholy echo has sunk 
 unheard over the tuneless ear of Death, who that has stood by, 
 and heard the requiem for the departed soul, but has wondered 
 for its flight ? Where is the heart that has not poured forth its 
 plaint, amid the stillness of the night, when the ear 
 
 From echoing hill or thicket, oft has seemed 
 To hear celestial voices ?' 
 
 It is then that the soul longs for the astrologer 1 s power the 
 consultation of the stars. Among these orbs, gemming the night 
 with lustre, where do the Departed dwell ? Who can pierce the 
 blue mystery above, to tell ? There they shine from age to age ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 183 
 
 glorious clusters, flooding the empyrean with paths of light, and 
 looking down in beauty on the mutations of a 'wicked and per- 
 verse world !' Is it among those floating jewels, scattered from 
 the crown of the Almighty, where the prismatic light gleams from 
 the gates of Paradise, that the wicked cease from troubling, and 
 the weary are at rest? 
 
 'ANSWER me, burning stars of night, 
 
 Where hath the spirit gone, 
 That past the reach of human sight 
 
 Even as a breeze hath flown ? 
 And the stars answer me : ' We roll 
 
 In light and power on high, 
 But of the never-dying soul, 
 
 Ask that which cannot die !' 
 
 BY the way, I would not speak too reverently of astrology ; 
 'for I consider it a mythological humbug, which was exploded at 
 Belshazzar's feast. When that distinguished personage was in 
 the midst of his entertainment ; when the lamps shone brightly 
 over fair women and brave men ; there came a passage of super- 
 natural chirography over against him on the wall of his palace, 
 which he could not decipher. Scratching his royal head, in 
 grievous doubt, he called unto him his astrologers and soothsay- 
 ers, (celestial proof-readers,) but ' they could not make known 
 unto him the interpretation of the thing.' Ever since reading this 
 sketch of that princely dinner, I have had a great distrust of your 
 star-gazers. I am of this mind with Browne : ' We do not re- 
 ject or condemn a sober and regulated astrology ; we hold there 
 is more truth therein than in astrologers ; in some more than 
 many allow, yet in none so mtich as some pretend. We deny 
 not the influence of the stars, but often suspect the due applica- 
 tion thereof; for though we should affirm that all things were in 
 all things ; that heaven were but earth celestified, and earth but 
 heaven terrestrified ; or that each part had an influence upon its 
 divided affinity below, yet how to single out these relations, and 
 duly to apply their actions, is a work oft-times to be effected by 
 some revelation and cabala from above, rather than any philoso- 
 phy or speculation here below. What power soever they have 
 upon our bodies, it is not requisite they should destroy our rea- 
 sons that is, to make us rely on the strength of Nature, when 
 she is least able to relieve us ; and when we conceive heaven 
 against us, to refuse the assistance of the earth, created for us.' 
 
 TALKING of stars, leads me to astronomy, and thence to the 
 ^calculations of the exact sciences, whereby that prescience of
 
 184 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 the future, which approaches divinity, and seems to snatch a pre- 
 rogative from the Almighty, is revealed. The profanum vulgus, 
 even, have a dim but indefinable reverence for figurative lore. 
 Thus TEDDY O'RouRKE, in the play, when he usurps the place 
 of my learned friend, Doctor O'TooLE, after the 'Salve Domi- 
 numT of Doctor FLAIL, and the puzzling reply of 'Scumulum 
 Tag'roogeenr goes on to bewilder himself in the mazes of ' cat- 
 aphysics,' and the literature of ' the Thabans, the Russians, the 
 Turks, and the rest of the Greeks,' and winds up with the knock- 
 down conclusion, ' Thiin's mathematics /' 
 
 BUT that's neither here nor there. I wish to touch upon a 
 subject familiar to every youth who has handled a pen while a 
 student, and sat up till midnight to court the nine, when he should 
 have been in bed by ten. I mean the producing of tributes for 
 albums. Oh ! bore of bores ! How many despairing digits, at 
 the command of young virgins, have ploughed themselves into 
 the dandriff of the unpractised writer, in order to procure one or 
 two ideas to dilute into an album ! No one can tell the amount 
 of misery that is inflicted in this way upon the youthful portions 
 of mankind. There is no release from a thraldom of this kind ; 
 and if by dogged obstinacy you should happen to effect your re- 
 demption thence, you are like the ' Prisoner released from the 
 Bastile,' whereof all juveniles have read. No one will know you ; 
 you will be cut by the lover of your bright-eyed cousin, and by 
 herself. In fact, one might as well stipulate wantonly for a bad 
 epitaph from a cutter of tomb-stones, as to attempt release from 
 the scribblative obligation. There is no discharge in that war of 
 the pen. For me, I can say with the apostle, that if all I had 
 recorded in albums, from a desire to preserve my female friend- 
 ships, and to do what is denominated ' the handsome thing,' ' I sup- 
 pose the world could not contain the books that had been written.' 
 
 Once, however, I was put to my trumps. A respectable mil- 
 liner, who had made a beautiful bonnet for a cousin, desired her, 
 as a special favor, to procure me to ' head the list' of contributors 
 to her album. I received the volume. It was a Hank-book, and 
 the first two pages were devoted to memoranda of disposed-of 
 millinett, dimity, ribbons, gros-de-naps, and so forth. The pages 
 were ruled across in blue, and rectangularly, near the outer edge, 
 in red, forming squares for the register of dollars and cents. A 
 thought struck me, that I could make a novel hit in the ars po- 
 etica, by bringing in figure* to my aid. 'Figures,'' thought I, 
 ' are certainly allowable in poetry ; and though I cannot flatter 
 the vanity of the fair owner of this quarto, (for she was very nice
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 185 
 
 and very pretty, except that one of her optics leered askew,) in 
 my verse, perhaps I may do it in my motto.' For that I drew 
 upon the Scriptures : and the sum total of the whole followeth : 
 
 'TO MISS LUCRETIA SOPHONISBA MATILDA JERUSHA CATLING: 
 
 THOU hast ravished my heart thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine 
 eyes J Thy neck is like the tower of David, builded for an armory, whereon there 
 hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. How beautiful are thy feet, 
 with shoes ! Thy neck is as a tower of ivory : thine eyes like the fish-pools in Heshbon, 
 by the gate of Bath-Rabbin : thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon, which looketh to- 
 ward Damascus. How fair and pleasant art thou, love, for delights !' 
 
 [From the Canticles, or the Song of Songs, as originally written by Solomon, 
 and sung by him at Jerusalem, with great applause.] 
 
 THOU canst not hope, oh ! nymph divine, 
 
 That I should ever court the - 
 
 Or that when passion's glow is done, 
 
 My heart can ever love but - 
 
 When from Hope's flowers exhales the dew, 
 
 Then Love's false smile deserts us 
 
 Then Fancy's radiance 'gins to flee, 
 
 And life is robbed of all the - 
 
 And Sorrow, sad, her tears must pour 
 
 O'er cheeks where roses bloomed be - 
 
 Yes ! life's a scene all dim as Styx ; 
 
 Its joys are dear at 
 
 Its raptures fly so quickly hence, 
 
 They 're scarcely cheap at - 
 
 Oh ! for the dreams that then survive ! 
 
 They 're high at pennies - 
 
 The breast no more is filled with heaven, 
 
 When years it numbers . 
 
 And yields it up to Manhood's fate, 
 
 About the age of - 
 
 Finds the world cold, and dim, and dirty, 
 
 Ere the heart's annual count is - 
 
 Alas ! for all the joys that follow, 
 
 I would not give a quarter-dollar! 
 
 This, charming artiste, is the sum 
 To which life's added items come. 
 If into farther sums I stride, 
 I see the figures multiplied. 
 Subtract the profit ones from those 
 Whose all to loss untimely goes, 
 And in the aggregate you find 
 Enough to assure the thinking mind 
 That there's an overplus of evil, 
 Enough to fright the very d 1 ! 
 
 Thus, my dear maid, I send to you 
 
 The balance of my metre due ; 
 
 Please scrutinize the above amount, 
 
 And set it down in my account ; 
 
 A wink to a horse is as good as a nod 
 
 Your humble servant, OX.LAPOD. 
 
 9 
 1 
 2 
 3 
 
 419 
 
 3/6 
 18d 
 25 
 27 
 28 
 30 
 251.97^
 
 ISO OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 By the way, is it not wonderful, that though in relation to ce- 
 lestial prospects, figures cannot lie, yet in terrestrial matters they 
 are mendacious to the last degree ? It is even so. There are nu- 
 merous improvements in our country, for example, which a few 
 years ago would have been stigmatized as the dream of the min- 
 strel, now apparent as the certainties of fact. Who, ten years 
 since, would have thought of a ship canal from the lakes to the 
 ocean! passing through fertile regions, bearing the white sail 
 on its waters, the wealth of the interior, and the stores of Ormus 
 or of Ind on its bosom ! Yet a few years, and the wilderness 
 which once was barren, shall resound with the hum of commerce, 
 be dimmed with the smoke of cities, and astonished with the bus- 
 tle of mercantile life. We are not a stationary people : we go 
 onward ; and if the best spirit that ever was filled of yore with 
 high dreams of hope for the country, were now among us, what 
 would be the scene of its vision ? Imagination furls her wing, 
 and lets Reality take the lead. 
 
 But I forbear. I am at my sheet's edge. Hereafter I will 
 seize the theme, now but begun, 
 
 ' and bear it with rne, as the storm 
 
 Bears the cloud onward.' 
 
 Till then, gentle reader, I am wholly thine. 
 
 OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER EIGHTEEN. 
 
 April, 1837. 
 
 KIND READER : All eyes of late have been turned toward 
 Washington. The last process of president-making has there 
 been perfected, and the beauty of the republican system made 
 manifest. The national metropolis, which is indeed, and pun- 
 ning aside, a capital place, was crowded to abundant repletion. 
 Men, it is said, in the annals of that week, slept wheresoever 
 they could place their superabounding skulls ; some in rail-cars, 
 some in the corners of suburban fences, and others, like the har- 
 vests of old, were ' gathered into barns,' consorting with jealous 
 rats, and provident mousers ; lashed by the scampering tails of 
 the one, and visited by the omniscient whiskers of the other. 
 In truth, from all we hear, it was a pressing time altogether, and 
 the bed-market was never so tight before in the memory of the
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 187 
 
 I 
 
 oldest inhabitant of Washington. But why should I enlarge upon 
 this point an imaginary one as far as 1 am concerned? 
 
 'Of the people that suffered from evils that were, 
 I can not tell for I was not there.' 
 
 But the pressure thitherward has awakened the remembrance 
 of a visit to that region some dozens of moons ago. Washing- 
 -ton is always sui generis, in its main features ; and turnpikes, 
 sheets of water, with towns and cities, do not change materially 
 In so short a time. 
 
 Every one who has crossed the line of Mason and Dixon, 
 knows what sort of a river the Delaware is. On one side, as 
 thou goest toward the south, from the city of PENN, thou per- 
 ceivest the low shore of Jersey, calm and green ; on the other, 
 in the direction of the Occident, may be seen the undulating 
 slopes and swells of Pennsylvania, melting into distance ; before 
 thee is the crystal river, an affrighted member of the ichthyologi- 
 cal tribe, frightened by the coming boat, springing now and then 
 from its bosom saltation by .steam. 
 
 Consider me on my way to the City of Distances. The dif- 
 ference between the two shores and states is preserved, as far as 
 
 you go. I pointed out to my friends, G. W. C and Le 
 
 Compte C 1, the beauty of the scenes we were passing. 
 
 The latter enjoyed them with that keen and relishing sense, 
 natural in one but a few months in the country, ' and sharp with 
 .his eyes.' The tame canals of Europe, the treJtsclmyt, and the 
 sleepy landscapes from its portals of observation, were contrasted 
 with the free and majestic movement of our good steamer, and 
 the scenes from its airy deck, or its cabin windows. 
 
 WE are on the Chesapeake. It is early autumn. A few frosts 
 have descended upon the woodlands, whose painted masses hang 
 over the edge of the distant wave, like an ocean of rainbows, 
 just breaking in turbulence upon a lake of pure and molten sil- 
 ver. Golden flashes of sunshine play in tremulous lines for 
 miles along the wave ; the distant sail flits into indistinctness, and 
 the duck, poising its wing on the western gale, skims the blue 
 ridges in the south-east like the messenger of a spirit, dropping 
 ever and anon to float on its nest on the billow, and turn its quick 
 iris to the smoky craft, gliding like a ' sea chimera' on the distant 
 waste. 
 
 THE approach to Baltimore was likest to magic. A long pile 
 of rosy clouds, whether the incense of the city, or the offspring
 
 188 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 of the bay, clung to the base of the town, steeped in the gushes 
 of the sunset, and extending for miles on either hand. Above 
 these clouds rose the domes of cathedrals, churches, and min- 
 sters ! and over all, the slender but simple and majestic shaft, at 
 which whosoever looketh, he shall be instantly reminded of the 
 Father of his Country, the immortal WASHINGTON. It springs 
 toward the heavens with a plain but a commanding austerity. 
 There, around the crowning statue, breathes the air of freedom ; 
 there circulates the sunlight which gilds the pinion of the eagle, 
 or lights the plumage of the dove, as she sails to her rest. 
 
 THE City of Monuments is worth a week of observation. 
 When thou touchest that spot, oh, Tourist ! rest thee there 
 awhile. Go forth into the town. Remain not too long at morn 
 over Barnum's rich coffee and cakes, nor at noon over his wines, 
 those succulent, magical things, but get thee out into the thorough- 
 fares. Convey yourself to the Holiday-street Temple ; and if 
 the gas be dubiously fragrant, thou wilt get respectable dramatics, 
 and thine evening shall be well nigh spent ere it seem begun. 
 
 BALTIMORE, like Boston, is a city of ups and downs. It is 
 memorable to me ; for it was in that city of monuments that I 
 had well nigh lost my life. That spice of the adventurous which 
 has accompanied me from my earliest days, led me to ascend the 
 long ladder, said to have been some seventy feet high, placed on 
 the outside of the great dome of the cathedral, then undergoing 
 repairs. The upward distance lent an enchantment to my eye, 
 which was irresistible. I fancied that the view from the ' topmost 
 round' of those tapering ladders, tied together with ropes, would 
 be magnificent. I was not disappointed. The bay melted afar 
 into the iris-blue of air ; that golden edging, which hangs over 
 forest tops and waters in summer, whose tremulousness makes, 
 the eye ache with gazing, and fills the heart with happy and ethe- 
 real feelings. Landward, the country spread brightly around, 
 seamed with brown roads, and fading afar into apparent ridges, 
 and swells of cedar-green. It was a calm and cheerful day, and 
 every object in unison one with another. The air was rarefied 
 and sweet ; the last odor of the latest flowers of summer seemed 
 floating by in the sunshine : and I fancied that the voices of sum- 
 mer-birds, taking their farewells for distant climes, were mingling 
 with them. The shipping in the harbor sent every pennon to the 
 gale ; the flag-staffs waved their signals, and, what with the fresh 
 breeze, and the beauty of the morning, it really seemed a gala- 
 day.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 189 
 
 After having fed my eyes with the beauty of the scene, from 
 the extreme height of the ladder, the voices of the workmen in 
 the cupola, or on the balustrade above, making a pleasant hum 
 in my ear, I prepared to descend. But the moment I looked to- 
 ward the earth, a dizziness came upon me, which almost led me 
 to instantaneous self-abandonment. My brain reeled, my eyes 
 grew dim ; a sleepy sensation crept over me ; the whole cathe- 
 dral seemed to recede from my gaze; and for a moment I seem- 
 ed as if sailing in the air. I had not descended more than a 
 dozen rounds, when my tottering steps and trembling hands 
 really seemed to refuse their office. My sickness increased, and 
 a languor crept over my perceptions, like the effect of an ano- 
 dyne. I felt myself absolutely becoming indifferent to my peril, 
 though I knew it well. I was in truth as if in a dream ; and I 
 can safely aver, that 1 felt myself losing all consciousness, when 
 I heard one of the laborers above and the words came to my 
 ear as if from the supernatural lips of a spirit ' My God! that 
 young gentleman is going to fall /' 
 
 This sentence went like fire to my brain, and rolled like a flood 
 of lava over every nerve. It restored me instantly to a full per- 
 ception of my case, and my course. I grasped the rounds of 
 the ladder with the firmness which a drowning man exhibits 
 when clutching, in the bubbling groan of his last agony, at the 
 slenderest spar. Every foot-fall shook the ladder from end to 
 end ; and when I touched the ground, I felt precisely as if res- 
 cued from the grave. 
 
 FROM Baltimore to Washington, the route is what one might 
 call dull. Such, at least, was the impression of the road upon 
 our party of three and a servant, as we wheeled over the yellow 
 line, y'clept a turnpike. The view therefrom is limited, being 
 confined to a few brown landscapes, describing, as it were, a 
 stone's-throw-radius on either hand. One stirring scene, how- 
 ever, I must needs except. There is a point, as you go from 
 Baltimore, Washington-ward, where the former city lifts itself in 
 supreme beauty along the line of the horizon. Dome, tower, 
 and temple, point their glowing indices toward that heaven to 
 which their ministering spirits guide the way ; a wide lapse of 
 silver bounds the view ; and over all, like a pyramid above the 
 plains of Memphis or of Thebes, or like to the Needles, named 
 of her who wooed an ANTHONY to her bosom, and who fed 
 from those fair orbs the scorpion which killed her ; rose that thin 
 shaft which commemorates the fame of WASHINGTON, the Sa- 
 viour of his Country. As I turned my head, (thrust forth in
 
 190 OLLAFODIANA. 
 
 search of the picturesque, from the window of our coach), to 
 survey the parting glories of that tall white column, my heart 
 swelled into my throat ; for, my dear American reader, I am 
 peculiarly susceptible of patriotic influences. A sign-post, with 
 WASHINGTON at its top, calls forth my admiration. I have wept 
 at the plaudits of an audience at the theatre, when the falling of 
 a new drop-curtain has disclosed the form or features of the 
 Pater Patrice. Simple, republican, austere in honor, sublime in 
 war, beloved in peace ; when shall we look upon his like again ? 
 I am not of those who fancy that any eulogy can be misused 
 upon his memory; nor do I think that terms and tributes, though 
 often repeated, can ever grow familiar or aged, when applied to 
 his name. Therefore I offer, as the best synopsis of his merits, 
 a stanza which may be familiar to many, and yet new to the 
 majority of those who now follow my words : 
 
 'His was Octavian's prosperous star 
 The rush of Caesar's conquering car, 
 
 At Battle's call ; 
 
 His Scipio's virtue ; his the skill 
 And the indomitable will 
 
 Of Hannibal : 
 
 His was Aurelius' soul divine, 
 The clemency of Antonine, 
 
 And generous will: 
 In tented field and bloody fray, 
 An Alexander's vigorous sway, 
 
 And stern command : 
 The faith of Constantine ay, more 
 The fevent love Camillus bore 
 
 His native land.' 
 
 The sun had gone to bed in a pile of fleecy and feathery 
 clouds, flushed like the heart of a summer rose, long before we 
 had reached the Great Capital. A storm came on ; the rain 
 pattered heavily against our carriage-window ; and when we first 
 caught the reflection of lights against them from the lamps in the 
 vicinity of the capitol, it seemed as if we had embarked in a 
 vehicle, chartered by Phaeton, to be conveyed whithersoever his 
 eccentric whipship would. 
 
 A PRESENTATION at the American court, at a private au- 
 dience, and with a foreign functionary, is not an ordinary matter 
 of your working-day world. With anticipations of this sort, so 
 it was that I was awakened by our attendant in a crowded sky- 
 parlor at GADSBY'S through whose uppermost casement I looked 
 and saw the splendors of an autumnal morning sun streaming 
 over the capital, at the distant end of Pennsylvania Avenue^
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 191 
 
 But what a strange melange of town and country between ! 
 Fields near at hand ; rural waters twinkling nigh ; and at long 
 intervals, the indications of a city. One finds no direct chance 
 of deciding upon his whereabout. At first, he fancies it may be 
 rus in urbe; at the next moment, he concludes himself surrounded 
 cum urbs in rure. Thenceforth, those abstruse mysteries, the 
 points of a compass ; properly belonging to the shipman's card, 
 and not manipulated by lubbers o' the land ; become to him in- 
 explicable enigmas. He knows the contradistinction of heads 
 and heels, barely ; all facts beyond outventure his philosophy. 
 
 THERE is a halo of ' glorification,' after all, about a function- 
 ary, high in office and place, which makes the heart of your 
 humble denizen beat quicker, as he approaches the imperial den. 
 Thus it was with me, as our coach wheeled up to the mansion 
 where le Compte was to find himself accredited. The ceremo- 
 nies on such occasions are pleasant to the spectator, and though 
 simple, are imposing. A group of gray-heads and time-worn 
 forms ; expressions of polite regards, in different accents and va- 
 rious language ; bows and kind assurances, are the staple scenes 
 and sounds on such occasions. 
 
 At the same time, it is right republican to see the President, 
 with a free-and-easy air, ask his Secretary of State to light a 
 paper that he may convey the blaze thereof to a pipe, the stem 
 of which would not measure in length more than three inches, 
 and the smoke from the bowl thereof would coil up within a 
 hair's breadth of the presidential nose. It reminds one of those 
 calm and luxurious times, signalized in the reign of WOUTER. 
 VAN TWILLER, in the days when the KNICKERBOCKERS, pyra- 
 mids of their day and generation, towered aloft in Dutch and dar- 
 ing dignity. 
 
 AMONG the fair women of that day and hour, was the gifted 
 
 and accomplished **** L . Song, it was said, had breathed 
 
 around her footsteps from lyres of fame ; and one devoted bard, 
 (so Rumor breathes) poured after her when abroad, the song that 
 ensueth. He had heard, erroneously, that she was dead : 
 
 'TO CORA. 
 
 i. 
 ' I SANG to thee my matin hymn 
 
 In life's auspicious hour, 
 Ere the sunlight of joy grew dim, 
 O'er beauty's vernal bower ;
 
 192 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 For all the wealth of heaven above, 
 
 And all beneath the sea, 
 I would not then have sold the love 
 
 Thou freely gav'st to me. 
 
 ii. 
 ' When youth's bright hopes began to fail, 
 
 I sung an altered strain 
 The farewell to the fading sail 
 
 That bore thee o'er the main ; 
 And as I pressed thy gentle form, 
 
 And heard thy parting vow, 
 Thy kisses on my lips were warm, 
 
 Thy tears were on my brow! 
 
 in. 
 Still fall those tears ? Sweet mourner, no ! 
 
 Beyond the unquiet wave, 
 Thy broken heart forgot its wo, 
 
 But only in the grave! 
 There Memory weeps while trusting Love 
 
 Looks through the clouds of even, 
 To view thine angel form above, 
 
 A habitant of heaven!' 
 
 Nothing can well be prettier, or more pathetic, than this effu- 
 sion ; yet the catastrophe part, as my friend of the Albany Argus 
 would say, was ' gratuitous.' The parties afterward, mayhap, 
 read it together, and pointed out the chronological inaccuracies ; 
 which reminds me, or might remind me, of a circumstance lately 
 related in one of the western papers, where a gentleman who had 
 been advertised as deceased, wrote a polite note to the editor of 
 the journal, (who had thus among his personal ship-news re- 
 corded a false clearance for eternity), somewhat as follows : 
 
 ' Mr DEAR SIR : Will you allow me to correct a slight statement in your 
 last, with reference to my death ? I am grateful for the compliments to my 
 character in your obituary notice, and I believe them deserved. That I 
 tried to do the handsome thing while I lived, is most true ; true, too, is it, that 
 I never backed out of a fight, and never saw the man that could whip me, 
 when alive ; and I say the same yet, ' being dead,' according to your story. 
 But when you state, that J left my affairs unsettled, and my widow and 
 those eleven children unprovided for, I have only to state, that you lie in 
 your throat ! I mean no offence in what 1 say ; I speak in the aggregate 
 sense of the term. Being a dead man, and printed down as such in your 
 columns, I am incapable of mortal resentments ; but I leave as my avengers, 
 CAI.-V, ABEL, and SIMPKINS, printers and publishers of the Occidental 
 Trumpet and Mississippi Battle-Axe. To the editor of that paper, I submit 
 my fame. To his indomitable coolness, never yet ruffled by repeated con- 
 tumely, and invulnerable to contempt, I confide my reputation : feeling 
 certain that one who has never found satisfaction for an insult, (nor sought 
 it indeed,) can fail to be a champion in my cause. That he may be in peril 
 in my advocacy, is possible ; but he knows how to shun it. He is inde- 
 pendent, for he is unknown ; he is fearless, for no man will touch a hair of 
 his head. To that important GULLIVER, in whatsoever cave or fastness he 
 may dwell, I surrender my fame. Yours, 'till death, 
 
 ROSWELL ADAMS GREENE.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 193 
 
 But I wander, and I recall my rambling spirit back to the 
 American capital. 
 
 ATTENDED church. 'Tis a dull business in Washington. 
 One's devotional feelings, that in ordinary cities kindle and rise 
 heavenward, at the anthems of the choir, or the pealing of the 
 organ, come down, in the metropolis of the republic, to the shal- 
 low and factitious distinctions of this common sphere of earth. 
 The preachers at Washington have been variously described. 
 Just before the session of the National Legislature, as at the 
 period of which I speak, crowds of the reverend cloth convene, 
 for the chaplaincy of Congress, and other purposes. Of course, 
 as many of these as can, accomplish the entre to the metropoli- 
 tan desk, to display their powers. The divine I had the happi- 
 ness to hear, in some respects resembled the man whom my dear 
 lamented SANDS described in his ' Scenes at Washington.' 
 Argument was his hobby ; and he would curtail a sentence of 
 its dimensions, and subvert all gleanings, scriptural, historical, or 
 political, to fortify the same. He reminded me of that queer and 
 rural divine, of whom I have heard in Massachusetts, who found 
 his congregation indulging in all the extravagances of provincial 
 fashion, and rebuked them en masse, (especially the fairer part, 
 who indulged in flaunting top-knots, and dresses of the head), 
 by choosing for one of his sermons the following text : ' Top- 
 knot come down!' From this text he deduced a world of sacred 
 ratiocination. He expatiated upon the uselessness of top-knots, 
 and enlarged upon his scriptural injunction that they should come 
 down. Toward the close of his sermon, he confessed that he 
 had merely adopted a clause; but he said that any detached 
 sentence, even, from Holy Writ, was profitable for reproof And 
 instruction. ' The context of the clause/ he added, ' I will now 
 join with the text. It is thus written; 'Let him that is on the 
 house-top not come down.' Comment is unnecessary! 
 
 THERE is % story of this same man of GOD, now gathered to 
 his fathers, (or named at least of him,) for which I have great re- 
 spect. It seems that he encountered a confirmed infidel one even- 
 ing at a donation-party ; a man who respected the pastor of the 
 town, though he did not credit his doctrines. By accident, they 
 engaged in a controversy, and the infidel endeavored to prove, by 
 Holy Writ, in the same text-choosing method for which his op- 
 nent was proverbial, that the priests of old were drunkards, and 
 that they imbibed ' potations pottle deep,' in public. 
 
 * How do you prove that ? Give me an instance,' said the 
 .clerical gladiator. 13
 
 194 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 * Well,' was the reply, ' look at the coronation of SOLOMON, 
 where it is expressly stated that Zadok, the priest who anointed 
 him, ' took a horn.' ' 
 
 * Yes,' said he of the cloth, ' but you do n't give the whole 
 passage, which is this : ' And Zadok the priest took a horn of 
 oil, and anointed Solomon,' ' 
 
 ' I did not say what he did with his horn,' rejoined the infidel; 
 * I only contended that he took it.' 
 
 4 Good, very good !' responded the divine, warming at the quiz 
 which he saw was directed towards himself : ' you are ingenious 
 in your argument ; but I can prove by the Scriptures, in the 
 same way, that instead of being here, resolving doubts and dis- 
 puting with me, you should be swinging on a gallows at this mo- 
 ment, by your own consent and deed.' 
 
 ' No, no ; thtit's beyond your skill ; and if you will establish 
 what you propose, by any kind of ratiocination, I will confess my 
 deserts, as soon as they are shown.' 
 
 * Agreed. Now do we not read in the Bible, that Judas went 
 and hanged himself?' ' 
 
 ' Yes, we do.' 
 
 4 Do you not find in another part of the Sacred Word, ' Go 
 thou and do likewise T ' 
 
 * Yes ; you have proved that as far as you go. What next ?' 
 ' Only one clause more,' replied the divine. The Bible also 
 
 says, ' What thou doest, do quickly.' Now, my friend, go and 
 hang yourself at once !' 
 
 ' Not till I show you the text to your charity sermon, preached 
 for the Widow's Society in Boston, last spring. Here it is ; 
 and there is a word there, which you either have not properly 
 Written or properly read.' 
 
 Saying this, he drew a pamphlet from his pocket, and pointed 
 to the opening passage. It ran thus : ' Then he rebuked the 
 winds, and trie sea, and lo ! there was a great clam /' ' Why do 
 bring your texts to such an amphibious and testaceous termina- 
 tion V 
 
 The good man was thunderstruck. He acknowledged that 
 there was an error ; but he contended that shell-fish might have 
 existed at that ancient period : 
 
 ' E'en though vanquished, he could argue still.' 
 
 UNFORTUNATELY, typical mutations in published MSS. have 
 come down to the present day. Not many moons since, I was 
 called upon by a small and humble-looking person, in green spec-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 195 
 
 tacles, behind which there rolled two enormous gray eyes. He 
 said he was a man of many occupations, and sometimes dabbled 
 in literature. He had thoughts of buying some western lands, 
 if any one would credit him for six years, and in that way make 
 his fortune. A friend in Texas had also assured him that he 
 could get some lots there on the same terms. In these enterpri- 
 ses he wished me to join him. But first, and before showing 
 me some poetry which had been spoilt in the publication, he 
 wished me to loan him a shilling, and accept his note to that 
 amount, ' with sixty days to run.' A humorous thought struck 
 me, and I chose the latter, with the direction that he should try 
 it for discount at the United States' Bank. The next day I re- 
 ceived a carefully-written ' business letter' from him, which (after 
 promising to call on me in an hour after I received it) contained 
 the ensuing : 
 
 ' December 17. 
 
 Mr DEAR SIR : I have had an interview with Mr. BIDDLE, and truly la- 
 ment my inability to communicate satisfactory results. I fear that until the 
 resolution of the Senator from Ohio, in regard to the repeal of the Treasury 
 order, is finally disposed of, the trading interests will materially suffer. 
 
 ' The Board of Directors, however, have some reason to indulge in the 
 pleasing hope, that a small keg of ten-cent-pieces will arrive from Tinnicum, 
 some time during the ensuing week ; in which case, the president has prom- 
 ised to exert his influence in my behalf on the next discount-day. 
 
 ' If we should be successful in ultimately elevating the breeze (raising the 
 wind) on my promissory note, we can proceed without delay to our contem- 
 plated acquisitions in Michilimackinac lands, and Texas scrip. 
 
 ' 5four obedient friend, ZEBEDEE FUSSY.' 
 
 He was with me, almost before I had read his letter. ' Ah !' 
 said he, ' reading my scroll, I see. Funny circumstance. But 
 never mind. You make pieces . sometimes for the KNICKER- 
 BOCKER, don't you? apt kind o' pieces, that come out of your 
 head ? I borrow that there periodical, sometimes, of a friend, 
 and I seen a piece-t there about a man who was the ' Victim of 
 a Proof-reader.' I am one of that class. Two years ago I was in 
 love. I was jilted. Hang details ; the upshot is the main thing. 
 Well, I had tried the young lady, and found her wanting ; and I 
 thought I would quote a line of Scripture onto her, as a motto 
 for some bitter and reproachful verses.' So, holding a manu- 
 script in one hand high up, and placing the other arm a-kimbo, 
 he read as follows : 
 
 'TO ONE FOUND WANTING. 
 
 ' Mene, mene, tekd upharsin ." SCRIPTURE. 
 
 ' THOU art no more, what once I knew 
 Thy heart and guileless tongue to be ;
 
 196 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Thou art no longer pure and true, 
 
 Nor fond, to one who knelt to thee ; 
 Who knelt, and deemed thee all his own, 
 
 Nor knew a dearer wish beside ; 
 Who made his trembling passion known, 
 
 And looked to own thee for a bride. 
 
 4 What is the vow that once I heard 
 
 From those balm-breathing lips of thine ? 
 Broken, ah ! broken, word by word, 
 
 E'en while I worshipped at thy shrine ! 
 Broken by thee, to whom I bowed. 
 
 As bends the wind-flower to the breeze, 
 As bent the Chaldean, through the cloud, 
 
 To Orion and the Pleiades. 
 
 4 But thou art lost ! and I no more 
 
 Must drink thy undeceiving glance ; 
 Our thousand fondling spells are o'er 
 Our raptured moments in the dance. 
 , Vanished, like dew-drops from the spray 
 
 Are moments which in beauty flew ; 
 I cast life's brightest .pearl away, 
 
 And, false one, breathe my last adieu!' 
 
 Here he stopped, his gray eyes rolling in a wild frenzy, and 
 drew a newspaper from his breeches pocket. ' Sir,' said he, 
 striking an attitude, ' I sent them verses for to be printed into the 
 * Literary Steam-boat and General Western Alligator. 1 It is a 
 paper, Sir, with immense circulation. A column in it, to be read 
 by the boatmen and raftsmen of the west, is immortality. I say 
 nothing. Just see how my effusion was butchered. J can't 
 read it.' 
 
 I took the paper, a little yellow six-by-eight folio, and read 
 thus : 
 
 4 TO ORE, FOUND WASHING. 
 
 
 ' Mere, mere, treacle, O'Sartin ." SCULPTURE. 
 
 4 THOU hast no means, at once to slew 
 
 ThyJbeasts, and girdless tongues to tree ; 
 Thou hast no 1'argent, pure and true, 
 
 Nor feed, for one who knelt to thee : 
 Who knelt, and dreemed thy all his own, 
 
 Nor knew a drearer wish betidle, 
 Who maid his tumbling parsnips known, 
 
 And looked to arm thee for a bridle ! 
 
 * What is the row ? what once I heard 
 
 From those brow-beating limps of thine ? 
 Brokers ! oh, brokers ! one by one, 
 E'en while I worshipped at thy shine !
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 197 
 
 Broker by three ! to whom I lowed, 
 
 As lends the wind-flaw to the tries ! 
 As burst the chaldron thro' the clod, 
 
 To Onions, and the fleas as dies ! 
 
 But thou art lost! and I no more 
 
 Mus dirk thy nndeceaving glance ; 
 One thous & friendly squills are o'er, 
 
 Our ruptured moments in the dance ! 
 Varnished, like dew-drops from the sprag, 
 
 Are moments which in business flew ! 
 I cut life's brightest peal a-wag, 
 
 And, false one, break my bust a dieu !' 
 
 On breaking into a loud laugh at the utter stupidity of this 
 typical metamorphosis, I found that the stranger grew red in the 
 face. He snatched the paper from my hand, and disappeared, 
 making his bow as he retired. 
 
 And, beloved reader, having exceeded my boundaries, let me 
 do the same. Thine till doomsday, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER NINETEEN. 
 
 WHETHER you be gentle or simple, reader, whether poetical 
 or prose enamored, you have been free from any inflictions or 
 productions of mine, whichsoever you may please to call them, 
 any time these several months. If the omission has been griev- 
 vous, you may have had a monition that your life is not all sun- 
 shine, many things being oft anticipated, which come not to hand 
 of him that desireth them ; if pleasing, you are now reminded, 
 that pleasures of a sublunary character are too brief to have long 
 uniform continuance, since ' diuturnity of delight is a dream, and 
 folly of expectation.' So much for prefatory philosophy. PLA- 
 TO, when he paced along the olive walks, beneath the groves of 
 Academe, or listened to the prattle of shining Grecian streams 
 of yore, never knew what it was to meditate the exordium of a 
 magazine paper. As yet, when he flourished, ' editors and agents 
 of periodicals' never took prominent parts in university proces- 
 sions, with toll-gate keepers, sea-serpents and American eagles, 
 as was jocosely related of the late conflagratory assemblage hi the 
 edifice of Brown, on Providence Plantations. 
 
 By the way, I laughed extremely at the piece to whioh I al- 
 lude, which was full of Delightsome and most facetious things, 
 right aptly conceited. It was an imaginary procession at Brown
 
 19S OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 University, oh occasion of burning all the literary productions of 
 the students for the last five or six years. Had the sacrificial 
 mandate extended to the honorary members of her societies, then 
 would OLLAPOD have been obliged to be present with his offer- 
 ing to the insatiate elements ; and with ' survivors of the Boston 
 massacre, in coaches,' or ' superannuated toll-keepers of the 
 Pawtucket Turnpike,' followed in the train of the great marine 
 visitor at Nahant, or that supposed bird, met by the dreamer (im- 
 mortalized by the muse of SANDS) who sailed a-nigh it in his 
 vision, what time his spectral charger waved to the breeze of 
 midnight /-% , 
 
 ' the long, long tail, that glorified 
 
 That glorious animal's hinder side !' 
 ,bdt 
 
 I'LL warrant me a dozen of Burgundy, with all olives and ap- 
 purtenances thereunto properly belonging, that this same humor- 
 ous description gave offence to those who support the dignity of 
 a time-honored alma-mater. But they must have laughed in 
 their sleeves at the witty conception of it. Yet it is an old say- 
 ing, * A blow with a word strikes deeper than one with a sword.' 
 ' Many men,' saith the profound old Democritus, Junior, ' are as 
 much gauled with a jest, a pasquil, satyre, epigram, or the like, 
 as with any misfortune whatever. Princes and potentates, that 
 are otherwise happy, and have all at command, secure and free, 
 are grievously vexed with these pasquilling satyrs : they fear a 
 railing Aretinc, more than an enemy in the field ; which made 
 most princes of his time, as some relate, allow him a liberal pen- 
 sion, that he should not tax them in his satyrs. The gods had 
 their Momus, Homer his Zoilus, Achilles his Thersites, Philip 
 his Demades ; the Caesars themselves in Rome ware commonly 
 taunted. There was never wanting a Petronius, a Lucian, in 
 those times ; nor will be a Rabelais, an Euphormio, a Boccalinus, 
 in ours. Adrian the Sixth, pope, was so highly offended and 
 grievously vexed with pasquils at Rome, he gave command that 
 satyre should be demolished and burned, the ashes flung into the 
 river Tiber, and had it done forthwith, had not Ludovicus, a 
 facete companion, dissuaded him to the contrary, by telling him 
 that pasquils would turn to frogs in the bottom of the river, and 
 croak worse and louder than before.' A right pithy description 
 is this, of the effect of wit and words. 
 
 I HAVE sometimes guffawed immeasurably, at the sharp cuts 
 and thrusts not seldom indulged by the current writers of our 
 country, both in periodicals and newspapers. Not that I par-
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 199 
 
 *icularly affect the vapid abortions which appear in each depart- 
 ment, as now and then they must inevitably do ; but names and 
 sources might readily be mentioned in both, whereat the general 
 lip shall curl you a smile, as if by intuition. Our magazines have 
 a goodly sprinkling of the cheerful ; and in dull times, one can 
 but wish that they even had more. There is a spirit, and I men- 
 tioned but now the name of its incarnate habitation, which has 
 gone from among us, no more to return. Ah me ! that spirit! 
 It was stored with sublunary lore ; calm, philosophical, observant; 
 a lens, through which the colors of a warm heart, full of genuine 
 philanthropy and goodness, shone forth upon the world. It was 
 sportive in its satire, and its very sadness was cheerful. Grasp- 
 ing and depicting the Great, it yet ennobled and beautified the 
 Small. Its messengers of thought, winged and clothed with 
 beautiful plumage, went forth in the world, to please by their 
 changeableness, or to impress the eye of fancy with their endu- 
 ring loveliness. Such was the spirit of SANDS, whose light was 
 quenched for ever, while ' inditing a good matter' for the very 
 pages which now embody this feeble tribute to his genius.* I 
 well remember, when I first approached his native city, after his 
 death, how thick-coming were the associations connected with his 
 memory, which brought the tears into my eyes. The distant 
 -shades of Hoboken, where he so loved to wander ; the spreading 
 bay, whereon his ' rapt, inspired' eye had so often rested ; the 
 city, towering sleepily afar ; the fairy hues of coming twilight, 
 trembling over the glassy Hudson, sloop-bestrown ; the half-sil- 
 ver, half-emerald shades, blending together under the heights of 
 Weehawken these, appealing to my eye, recalled the Lost to 
 my side. I looked to the shore, and there 
 
 THE shadows of departed hours 
 Hung dim upon the early flowers ; 
 Even in their sunshine seemed to brood , 
 
 Something more deep than solitude.' 
 
 No BARD, ' holy and true,' was ever more deeply imbued than 
 SANDS with ' the spirit of song.' Sublimity, tenderness, descrip- 
 tion, all were his. But in his dissertations on all subjects, his 
 struggling humor at last came uppermost. From classic stores, 
 he could educe the novel jeu d 1 esprit; from fanciful premises, 
 the most amusing conclusions. Having given a pleasant line or 
 two from one of his happiest sketches, I feel irresistibly inclined 
 to encompass the whole. It is necessary beforehand, to discern 
 
 * ROBERT C. SANDS ; who, while engaged in writing an article for the KMICKEBBOCM* 
 Magazine, was struck with paralysis, and almost immediately expired. EDITOB.
 
 200 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 the preamble of the argument. A fellow-minstrel has indited and 
 published to the world a fanciful picture of the national eagle, in 
 all its original wildness, surrounded 'with characteristic scenery. 
 The subject is a grand one, but over-colored ; and would seem 
 to have been drawn according to the admitted principle of the 
 writer in composition, that ' whatever he writes is either superla- 
 tively good, or sheer nonsense.' The former quality sometimes 
 predominates ; but there is enough of the latter in all he has 
 written. The minstrel just mentioned also gave birth to a mid- 
 night phantom, or the sketch of a most supernal steed ; the bur- 
 lesque presentment whereof is hereto annexed, together with cer- 
 tain allusions to the feathery emblem of the republic, which show 
 that the limner knew how to kill two rare objects with one satiri- 
 cal ' fragment of granite :' 
 
 *A MISTY dream and a flashy maze 
 Of a sunshiny flush and a moonshiny haze ! 
 I lay asleep with my eyes open wide, 
 When a donkey came to my bedside', 
 And bade me forth to take a ride. 
 It was not a donkey of vulgar breed, 
 But a cloudy vision a night-mare steed ! 
 His ears were abroad like a warrior's plume- 
 From the bosom of darkness was borrowed the gloom 
 Of his dark, dark hide, and his coal black hair, 
 But his eyes like no earthly eyes they were ! 
 Like the fields of heaven where none can see 
 The depths of their blue eternity ! 
 Like the crest of a helmet taught proudly to nod, 
 And wave like a meteor's train abroad, 
 Was the long, long tail that glorified 
 'That glorious donkey's hinder side! 
 j And his gait description's power surpasses 
 
 'T was the beau ideal of all jack-asses. 
 
 , ' I strode o'er his back, and he took in his wind 
 
 And he pranced before and he kicked behind 
 And he gave a snort, as when mutterings roll 
 Abroad from pole to answering pole 
 While the storm-king sits on the hail-cloud's back, 
 And amuses himself with the thunder-crack ! 
 
 , Then off he went, like a bird with red wings, 
 
 That builds her nest where the cliff-flower springs 
 Like a cloudy steed by the light of the moon, 
 When the night's muffled horn plays a windy tune ; 
 And away I went, while my garment flew 
 Forth on the night breeze, with a snow-shiny hue - 
 Like a streak of white foam on a sea of blue. 
 Up-bristled then the night-charger's hair too, 
 Like a bayonet grove, at a ' shoulder-hoo !' 
 
 ' Hurrah ! hurrah ! what a hurry we made ! 
 My hairs rose too, but I was not afraid ;
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 201 
 
 Like a stand of pikes they stood up all, 
 
 Each eye stood out like a cannon-ball ; 
 
 So wrapt I looked, like the god of song, 
 
 As I shot and whizzed like a rocket along. 
 
 Thus through the trough of the air as we dash'd, 
 
 Goodly and glorious visions flash'd 
 
 Before my sight with a flashing and sparkling, 
 
 In whose blaze all earthly gems are darkling. 
 
 As the gushes of morning, the trappings of eve, 
 
 Or the myriad lights that will dance when you give 
 
 Yourself a clout on the orb of sight, 
 
 And see long ribands of rainbow light : 
 
 Such were the splendors and so divine, 
 
 So rosy and starry, and fiery and fine. 
 
 ' Then eagle ! then stars ! and then rainbows ! and all 
 That I saw at Niagara's tumbling fall, 
 Where I sung so divinely of them and their glories, 
 While mewed in vile durance, and kept by the tories ; 
 Where the red cross flag was abroad on the blast, 
 J sat very mournful, but not downcast. 
 My harp on the willows I did not hang up, 
 Nor the winglets of fancy were suffered to droop, 
 But I soared, and I swooped, like a bird with red wings 
 Who mounts to the cloud-god, and soaringly sings. 
 
 ' But the phantom steed in his whirlwind course, 
 Galloped along like Beelzebub's horse, 
 Till we came to a bank, dark, craggy, and wild, 
 Where no rock-flowers blushed, no verdure smiled 
 But sparse from the thunder-cliffs bleak and bare, 
 Like the plumage of ravens that warrior helms wear. 
 And below very far was a gulf profound, 
 Where tumbling and rumbling, at distance resound 
 Billowy clouds o'er whose bottomless bed 
 The curtain of night its volumes spread 
 But a rushing of fire was revealing the gloom, 
 Where convulsions had birth, and the thunders a home. 
 
 4 You may put out the eyes of the sun at mid-day 
 
 You may hold a young cherubim fast by the tail 
 You may steal from night's angel his blanket away 
 Or the song of the bard at its flood-tide may stay, 
 
 But that cloud phantom donkey to stop you would fail ! 
 
 He plunged in the gulf 't was a great way to go, 
 Ere we lit mid the darkness and flashings below ; 
 And I looked as I hung o'er that sulphurous light 
 Like a warrior of flame ! on a courser of night ! 
 But what I beheld in that dark ocean's roar, 
 I have partly described in a poem before, 
 And the rest I reserve for a measure more strong, 
 When my heart shall be heaving and bursting with song ! 
 
 ' But I saw, as he sailed 'mid the dusky air, 
 A bird that J thought I knew everywhere,
 
 202 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 A fierce gray bird with a terrible beak, 
 With a glittering %, -an. 1 peculiar shriek : 
 ' Proud Bird of the Cliff!' I addressed him then 
 4 How my heart swells high thus to meet thee again ! 
 Thou whose bare bosom for rest is laid 
 On pillows of night by the thunder-cloud made ! 
 With a rushing of wings and a screaming of praise, 
 Who in ecstacy soar'st in the red-hot blaze ! 
 Who dancest in heaven to the sound of the trump, 
 To the fife's acclaim, and bass-drum's thump ! 
 Whence com'st thou,' I cried, ' and goest whither ?' 
 As I gently detained him by his tail-feather. 
 He replied, ' Mr. NEAL ! Mr. NEAL ! let me loose ! 
 I am not an eagle, but only a goose ! 
 Your optics are weak, and the weather is hazy 
 And excuse the remark, but I think you are crazy.' ' 
 
 SANDS was a lover of nature, with an affection * passing the 
 love of women ;' and he entered into the very heart of her mys- 
 teries. Lately, I made a pilgrimage to a scene which he has de- 
 painted, in one of those quiet, rich, and noble sketches^ which 
 have gained such celebrity to his pen. It was the KAATSKILLS. 
 
 IT fell on a day, when the guns and thunder of artillery pro- 
 claimed, according to the Fourth-of-July orators, ' the Birth-day 
 of Freedom,' that we made our way from the crowded city to the 
 majestic craft that was to convey us up the Hudson. What a 
 contrast did the embarkation scene present to the tranquil Dela- 
 ware, and the calm, sweet city of fraternal affection ! Thousands 
 of garish pennons were abroad on the gale ; the winds, as they 
 surged along on their viewless wings, were heavy with the sound 
 of cannon, the rolling of chariot-wheels, and the shouts of multi- 
 tudes. To me, it is an edifying and a thought-inspiring sight, to 
 look from the promenade-deck of a receding steamer upon a city, 
 as it glides into distance. The airy heights, dwelling-crowned, 
 around ; the craft going to and fro ; the thousand destinations of 
 the throngs that fill them : the hopes and fears that impel them. 
 Some are on errands of business ; some, on those of pleasure : 
 
 For every man hath business, and desire, 
 Such as it is,' 
 
 Yonder a gay ship, her sails filled with air and sunshine, hastens 
 through the Narrows. She is a packet, outward bound. We 
 see her as she goes. Within her are hearts sighing to leave their 
 native land ; from tearful eyes there extends the level of the tele- 
 scope which brings the distant near ; and at some upper casement 
 in the town, a trembling hand waves the white 'kerchief, still de- 
 scried ; at last it trembles into a glimmer ; the ocean haze rises
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 203 
 
 between, and the bosom which it cheered goes below to heave 
 with the nausea marina, and feel the benefits of an attentive 
 steward. 
 
 IT is beautiful to ascend the Hudson, on the birth-day chris- 
 tened as aforesaid. On every green point where the breeze rus- 
 tles the foliage, and around which the crystal waters roll, you 
 may see the grim ordnance, belching forth its thunder-clap and 
 grass wadding ; the brave officers and ' marshals of the day,' 
 sporting their emblems of immortal glory ; the urchins, with 
 chequered pantaloons, and collars turned over their coats, their 
 tender hearts and warm imaginations excited and wild with the 
 grandeur of the scene ; and as you pass some beautiful town, you 
 may see the stars and stripes waving from an eminence, near the 
 meeting-house or town hall ; and as you pass the line of a street 
 which tends to the river, you may eke observe ' the orator of the 
 day,' with his roll of patriotism and eloquence in his hand, march- 
 ing sublimely onward, behind prancing chargers, heroes in gay 
 attire, meditating death to any possible foes of the country, on 
 any future battalious emergency ; and sustained and soothed (he, 
 the orator) by the brattling of brass horns, and the roll of the 
 stirring drums behind him ; the ladies, meanwhile GOD bless 
 them ! looking neat and cheerful at the windows, or in the 
 streets. Then for the tourist to see the places in such a transit, 
 hallowed in his country's history ; the old head-quarters of 
 WASHINGTON, as at Newburgh, above whose humble roof, near 
 which one tall and solitary Lombard waved and whispered 
 mournfully in the air, there streamed a faded red banner, that 
 had caught the roll of the war-drum in the revolution, and rustled 
 its folds more quickly at the gun-peals that sent an iron storm 
 into invading breasts ! And then, to think that millions on mil- 
 lions, in ' many a lovely valley out of * sight,' in states, and terri- 
 tories stretching to the flowery prairies, and where the setting sun 
 flames along the far mountains of the west, the same anthems 
 were ascending ; the same glorious love of country inculcated ; 
 it is a train of thought ennobling, pure, imperishable ! Then it 
 is, that the mind has visions which no vocabulary can clothe and 
 wreak upon expression ; when the faculties ache with that inde- 
 scribable blending of love, hope, and pride, such as was faintly 
 shadowed by the minstrel, when he sang : 
 
 BREATHES there a man with soul so dead, 
 Who never to himself hath said, 
 This is my own, my native land !'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 PRESUPPOSING* that a man is possessed of a soul, it is my be- 
 lief that he cannot traverse the Hudson, even if it be for the hun- 
 dredth time, without new and delicious sensations. The noble 
 shores, now broken into sweet and solemn vistas, until they be- 
 come steeped in romance ; the capacious bays ; the swelling 
 sails ; the craft of all sorts, hastening to and fro ; all are impres- 
 sive and beautiful. You have such a variety of steamer life 
 about you, too ; that is the best of it odd congregations of 
 character. Yonder stands, looking at the shores, and now and 
 then at his watch, a man who, by his look, should be a divine. 
 He hath a white cravat around his neck, tied behind with extreme 
 closeness, at ' the precise point betwixt ornament and strangula- 
 tion.' He proceedeth to the bow of the boat to look to his lug- 
 gage. Such a one I saw ; and he was accosted, somewhat ab- 
 ruptly, by a clock-pedlar, who had been whittling a pine shrub, 
 near the taffrail, (and whistling the sublime national song of Yan- 
 kee Doodle, that most dignified effusion,) and who bespake him 
 thus : ' Square, you do n't know nawthing about that young wo- 
 man, yonder, do ye? with that lay-lock dress onto her do ye?' 
 ' No,' replied the ambassador from the high court above, ' I da 
 not ; and I wonder at your asking me such a question.' 
 
 1 Why, I axed you, 'cause I seen you a-looking at her your- 
 self; and 'cause I think she's blamenation elegint!' 
 
 ' That's enough, my friend ; you had better run along,' was 
 the august reply ; and the colloquy ended. 
 
 PAUSED for a moment at Rhinebeck, to release a passenger in 
 a small boat, let down amid the agitated foam at the steamer's 
 side. How sad, that the beauties of a landscape should be stain- 
 ed by the memories of death ! Here once lived, drinking the 
 spirit of golden youthful hours, and rejoicing in existence, a warm 
 and devoted friend, now alas ! no more JOHN RUDOLPH 
 SUTERMEISTER. The pestilence, for such it was, swept hin> 
 from being, in the pride of his intellect, and the full flush of his 
 manhood. As I surveyed the place where he had embarked for 
 the last time for the metropolis, in whose romantic suburbs his 
 bones were so soon to lie, the illusion as it were, of a dream, came 
 over me, and I almost fancied I could see him coming on board. 
 I thought of the many pleasant hours we had consumed together, 
 in walks where romance and early friendship sanctified the groves, 
 as the red sun, tinting the lake, and closing the flowers, and 
 beautifying the tender woodlands of spring, went down behind 
 the cedars of the west, in a sea of gold, and crimson, and purple. 
 Those were blessed hours ; moments when the enthusiasm, the
 
 ., OLLAPODIANA. 205 
 
 glowing hopes, the far-reaching thoughts, which take to them- 
 selves the wings of the eagle, and soar into the mysteries of un- 
 born years, coloring the future from the gorgeous prism of the 
 imagination, all were ours. How, at that point of reminiscence, 
 did they throng back to my experience and my view ! I fancied 
 that my friend was by my side, his arm in mine'; and a voice, like 
 the tones of a spirit, seemed breathing in my ear : 
 
 ' YET what binds us, friend to friend, 
 But that soul with soul can blend ? 
 Soul-like were those hours of yore 
 Let us walk iu soul once more.' 
 
 Poor Shade ! He seemed ever to have a presentiment of his 
 coming and early doom ; and his prophetic vision often pierced 
 the future, in lines akin to the solemn stanzas which close his 
 hwmtiful 'Night Thoughts:' 
 
 i ' WHEN high in heaven the moon careers, 
 She lights the fountain of young tears ; 
 
 Her rays play on the fevered brow ; 
 Plays on the cheek now bright no more 
 
 Plays on the withered almond bough, 
 Which once the man of sorrow wore ! 
 
 * * * * # 
 
 4 Behold this elm on which I lean, 
 
 Meet emblem of my cruel fate ; 
 But yestennorn, its leaves were green 
 
 No,w it lies low and desolate ! 
 The dew which bathes each faded leaf, 
 Doth also bathe my brow of grief. 
 Alas ! the dews of DEATH too soon 
 
 Will gather o'er my dreamless sleep ; 
 A.nd thou wilt beam, O pensive moon, 
 
 Where love should mourn, and friends should weep!' 
 
 But he was translated to an early paradise, by the kind fiat of 
 a benevolent GOD. Pure in heart, fresh and warm in his affec- 
 tions, he loved to live, because he lived to love ; and he is now 
 in that better country, 
 
 ' WHERE light doth dance on many a crown, 
 From suns that never more go down.' 
 
 He had a languid but not unpleasing/ melancholy about his life, 
 which entered into his verse, and moaned from every vibration 
 of his excelling lyre. How beautiful, how touching, how mourn- 
 ful, are these bodings in his song : 
 
 1 (JIVE not to me the wreath of green 
 
 The blooming vase of flowers ; 
 They breathe of joy that once hath been 
 Of gone and faded hours.
 
 206 0LLAPODIANA. 
 
 I cannot love the rose ; though rich, 
 
 Its beauty will not last ; 
 Give me, give me the bloom, o'er which 
 
 The early blight hath passed : 
 The yellow buds give them to rest 
 On my cold brow and joyless breast, 
 
 When life is failing fast. 
 
 Take far from me the wine-cup bright, 
 
 In hours of revelry ; 
 It suits glad brows, and bosoms light 
 
 It is not meet for me ; 
 Oh ! I can pledge the heart no more, 
 
 I pledged in days gone by ; 
 Sorrow hath touch'd my bosom's core, 
 
 And I am left to die ; 
 Give me to drink of Lethe's wave 
 Give me the lone and silent grave, 
 
 O'er which the night-winds sigh ! 
 
 ' Wake not, upon my tuneless ear, 
 
 Soft music's stealing strain : 
 It can not soothe, it can not cheer 
 / This anguish'd heart again : 
 
 But place th' JEolian harp upon 
 
 The tomb of her I love ; 
 There, when heaven shrouds the dying sun, 
 
 My weary steps will rove ; 
 As o'er its chords Night pours its breath, 
 To list the serenade of death, 
 
 Her silent bourne above ! 
 
 Give me to seek that lonely tomb, 
 
 Where sleeps the sainted dead, 
 Now the pale night-fall throws its gloom * 
 
 Upon her narrow bed ; 
 There, while the winds which sweep along 
 
 O'er the harp-strings are driven, 
 And the funereal soul of song 
 
 Upon the air is given, 
 Oh ! let my faint and parting breath 
 Be mingled with that song of death, 
 
 And flee with it to heaven !' 
 
 ONE picks up a marvellous degree of gratuitous and most 
 novel information from the miscellaneous people who pass hither 
 and thither in steam-craft. Bits of knowledge strike you una- 
 ware ; and if you believe it, you will be a much wiser man, when 
 you greet the morrow morn after a day's travel. For example, 
 when we had passed the shadowy highlands, and the Kaatskilb 
 were seen heaving their broad blue shoulders against the brilliant 
 horizon, a man with a pot-belly, in a round-about, with a bell- 
 crowned hat, over which was drawn a green oil-skin, shading his 
 tallowy cheeks, and most rubicund nose, approached my side,
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 207 
 
 and interrupted my reverie, by volunteering some intelligence. 
 * Them is very respectable mountains,' he said, ' but a man do n't 
 know nothin' about articles of that kind, unless he sees the tower 
 of Scotland. I am not, as you may likely be about to inquire, 
 a natyve. of that country ; but I have saw friends which has been 
 there ; and furthermore, the mountains there was all named after 
 relations of mine, by the mother's side. At present, all them 
 elewated sections of country is nick-named. Now the name of 
 Ben. Lomond has been curtailed into an abbreviation. That hill 
 was named after an uncle of my grandfather's, Benjamin Lomond. 
 Ben. Nevis was a brother of my grandmother's, who had the 
 same given name ; and a better man than Benjamin Nevis never 
 broke bread, or got up in the morning. From all accounts, he 
 was consid'rable wealthy, at one time ; though I 've hear'n tell 
 since, that he was a bu'sted man. But just to think of all them 
 perversions ! Is n't it 'orrid ?' With this and other information 
 did this glorious volunteer in history break in upon my musings; 
 and when he turned upon his heel, and clattered away, he left me 
 with an impression of his visage in my mind akin to that which 
 the fat knight entertained of Bardolph : ' Thou art our admiral ; 
 thou bearest the lantern in the nose of thee ; thou art the knight 
 of the burning lamp. I never see thy face, but I think of hell- 
 fire, and Dives, that lived in purple ; for there he is in his robes, 
 burning, burning.' 
 
 You would scarcely think, arrived at Kaatskill Landing, on 
 the Hudson, that just before you enter the coach which conveys 
 you to the mountain, that any extraordinary prospect was about 
 to open upon your vision. True, as when on the water, the 
 great cloud Presence looms afar ; yet there is a long level coun- 
 try between it and you ; and it is too early in the day to drink in 
 the grandeur of the scene. You are content with watching the 
 complex operations of that aquatic and equestrian mystery, a 
 horse-boat, which plies from the humble tavern at the water's 
 edge to the other shore of the Hudson. The animals give a con- 
 sumptive wheeze, as they start, stretching out their long necks, 
 indulging in faint recollections of that happy juvenescence, when 
 they wasted the hours of their colthood in pastures of clover, and 
 moving with a kind of unambitious sprawl, as if they cared but 
 little whether they stood or fell ; a turn of mind which induces 
 them to stir their forward legs more glibly than those in the oppo- 
 site quarter, quickening the former from pride, and ' contracting 
 the latter from motives of decency.' This is said to be their 
 philosophy ; and they act upon it with a religious devotion, 
 ' worthy a better cause.'
 
 203 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 As you move along from the landing, by pleasant and quiet 
 waters, and through scenes of pastoral tranquillity, you seem to 
 be threading a road which leads through a peaceful and varie- 
 gated plain. You lose the memory of the highlands and the 
 river, in the thought that you are taking a journey into a country 
 as level as the lowliest land in Jersey. Sometimes the moun- 
 tains, as you turn a point of the road, appear afar ; but ' are they 
 clouds, or are they not ?' By the mass, you shall hardly tell. 
 Meantime, you are a plain-traveller, a quiet man. All at once 
 you are wheeled upon a vernal theatre, some five or six miles in 
 width, at whose extremity the bases of the Kaatskills 'gin to rise. 
 How impressive the westering sunshine, sifting itself down the 
 mighty ravines and hollows, and tinting the far-off summits with 
 aerial light ! How majestic yet soft the gradations from the pon- 
 derous grandeur of the formation ; up, up, to the giddy and deli- 
 cate shadowings, which dimly veil and sanctify their tops, as ' sa- 
 cristies of nature,' where the cedar rocks to the wind, and the 
 screaming eagle snaps his mandibles, as he sweeps a circuit of 
 miles with one full impulse of his glorious wing ! Contrasting 
 the roughness of the basis with the printed beauty of the iris- 
 hued and ski'ey ultimatum, I could not but deem that the bard ol 
 * Thanatopsis' had well applied to the Kaatskills those happy lines 
 wherein he apostrophizes the famous heights of Europe : 
 
 4 YOUR peaks are beautiful, ye Appenines, 
 ID the soft light of your serenest skies; 
 From the broad highland region, dark with pines, 
 Fair as the hills of paradise, ye rise !' 
 
 BE not too eager, as you take the first stage of the mountain, 
 to look about you ; especially, be not anxious to look afar. Now 
 and then, it is true, as the coach turns, you can not choose but 
 see a landscape, to the south and east, farther o/f than you ever 
 saw one before, broken up into a thousand vistas ; but look you at 
 them with a sleepy, sidelong eye, to the end that you may finally 
 receive from the Platform the full glory of the final view. In 
 the meantime, there is enough directly about you to employ all 
 your eyes, if you had the ocular endowments of an Argus. 
 Huge rocks, that might have been sent from warring Titans, 
 decked with moss, overhung with rugged shrubbery, and cooling 
 the springs that trickle from beneath them, gloom beside the way ; 
 vast chasms, which your coach shall sometimes seem to over- 
 hang, yawn on the left ; the pine and cedar-scented air comes 
 freely and sweetly from the brown bosom of the woods ; until, 
 one high ascent attained, a level for a while succeeds, and your 
 smoking horses rest, while, with expanding nostril, yd\i drink in
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 209 
 
 the rarer and yet rarer air ; a stillness like the peace of Eden, 
 (broken only by the whisper of leaves, the faint chant of em- 
 bowered birds, or the distant notes that come 'mellowed and 
 mingling from the vale below'), hangs at the portal of your ear. 
 It is a time to be still, to be contemplative ; to hear no voice but 
 your" own ejaculations, or those of one who will share and 
 heighten your enjoyment, by partaking it in peace, and as one 
 with you, yet alone. 
 
 PASSING the ravine, where the immortal Rip Van Winkle 
 played his game of nine-pins with the wizards of that neighbor- 
 hood, and quaffed huge draughts of those bewildering flagons, 
 which made him sleep for years, I flung myself impatiently from 
 the ' quarter-deck' of the postillion whose place I had shared ; I 
 grasped that goodly globe of gold and ivory which heads my 
 
 customary cane the present of 'My Hon. friend' S , and 
 
 which once drew into itself the sustenance of life from that hal- 
 lowed mound which guards the dust of WASHINGTON, and 
 pushed gayly on, determined to pause not, until my weary feet 
 stood on the Platform. The road was smooth and good ; the 
 air refreshing and pure, beyond description. The lungs play 
 there without an effort ; it is a luxury to breathe. How holy 
 was the stillness! Not a sound invaded the solemn air; it was 
 like- inhaling the sanctity of the empyrean. The forest tops soon 
 began to stir as with a mighty wind. I looked, and on both sides 
 of the road there were trees whose branches had been broken, as 
 if by the wings of some rushing tempest. It was the havoc of 
 winter snows. 
 
 THERE is a wonderful deception in the approach to the 
 Mountain-House, which, when discovered, will strike the travel- 
 ler with amazement. At one point of the road, where the man- 
 sion which is to terminate your pilgrimage heaves its white form 
 in view, (you have seen it from the river for nearly half a day,) 
 it seems not farther than a hundred rods, and hangs apparently 
 on the verge of a stupendous crag over your head ; the road 
 tarns again, it is out of sight, and the summits, near its locus in 
 quo, are nearly three miles off. The effect is wonderful. The 
 mountain is growing upon you. 
 
 I continued to ascend, slowly, but with patient steps, and with 
 a flow of spirit which I can not describe. Looking occasionally 
 to the east, I saw a line of such parti-colored clouds, (as then I 
 deemed them,) yellow, green, and purple, silver-laced, and violet- 
 bordered, that it meseemed I never viewed the like kaleidoscopic 
 
 14
 
 ,10 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 presentments. All this time, I wondered that I had seen no 
 land for many a weary mile. 
 
 Hill after hill, mere ridges of the mountain, was attained ; 
 summit after summit surmounted ; and yet it seemed to me that 
 the house was as far off as ever. Finally it appeared, and 
 a-nigh ; to me the ' earth's one sanctuary.' I reached 'it ; my 
 name was on the book ; the queries of the publican, as to ' how 
 many coach-loads were behind,' (symptoms of a yearning for the 
 almighty dollar, even in this holy of nature's holies,) were an- 
 swered, and I stood on the Platform. 
 
 GOOD READER! expect me not to describe the indescribable. 
 I feel now, while memory is busy in my brain, in the silence of 
 my library, calling up that vision to my mind, much as I did 
 when I leaned upon my staff before that omnipotent picture, and 
 looked abroad upon its Goo-written magnitude. It was a vast 
 and changeful, a majestic, an interminable landscape; a fairy, 
 grand, and delicately-colored scene, with rivers for its lines of 
 reflection ; with highlands and the vales of States for its shadow- 
 ings, and far-off mountains for its frame. Those parti-colored and 
 varying clouds, I fancied I had seen as I ascended, were but por- 
 tions of the scene. All colors of the rainbow ; all softness of 
 harvest-field, and forest, and distant cities, and the towns that sim- 
 ply dotted the Hudson ; and far beyond where that noble river, 
 diminished to a brooklet, rolled its waters, there opened mountain 
 after mountain, vale after vale, State after State, heaved against 
 the horizon, to the north-east and south, in impressive and sub- 
 lime confusion ; while still beyond^ in undulating ridges, filled 
 with all hues of light and shade, coquetting with the cloud, rolled 
 the rock-ribbed and ancient frame of this dim diorama! As the 
 sun went down, the houses and cities diminished to dots ; the 
 evening guns of the national anniversary came booming up from 
 the valley of the Hudson ; the bonfires blazed along the peaks 
 of distant mountains, and from the suburbs of countless villages 
 along the river ; while in the dim twilight, 
 
 From coast to coast, and from town to town, 
 Y mi could see all the white sails gleaming down.' 
 
 The steam-boats, hastening to and fro, vomited tjieir fires upon 
 the air, and the circuit of unnumbered miles sent up its sights 
 and sounds, from the region below, over which the vast shadows 
 of the mountains were stealing. 
 
 Just before the sun dropped behind the west, his slant beams 
 poured over the south mountain, and feH upon a wide sea of
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 211 
 
 feathery clouds, which were sweeping midway along its form, 
 obscuring the vale below. I sought an eminence in the neighbor- 
 hood, and with the sun at my back, saw a giant form depicted in 
 a misty halo on the clouds below. He was identified, insubstan- 
 tial but extensive Shape ! I stretched forth my hand, and the 
 giant spectre waved his shadowy arm over the whole county of 
 Dutchess, through the misty atmosphere ; while just at his super- 
 natural coat-tail, a shower of light played upon the highlands, 
 verging toward West Point, on the river, which are to the eye, 
 from the Mountain-House, level slips of shore, that seem scarce 
 so gross as knolls of the smallest size. 
 
 OF the grandeur of the Kaatskills at sunrise ; of the patriotic 
 blazon which our bonfire made on the Fourth, at evening ; of the 
 Falls, and certain pecuniary trickeries connected with their grim 
 majesty, and a general digest of the stupendous scene, shall these 
 not be discoursed hereafter, and in truthful wise ? Yea, reader, 
 verily, and from the note-book of thine, faithful to the end, 
 
 OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER TWENTY. 
 
 November, 1837. 
 
 WE parted, good my reader, last at the Kaatskills no ? ' It 
 was a summer's evening ;' and with my shadow on the mountain 
 mist, I ween, vanished in your thoughts the memory of me. Well, 
 that was natural. A hazy, dream-like idea of my whereabout 
 may have haunted you for a moment but it passed. I can not 
 allow you to escape so easily. ' Lend us the loan' of your eye, 
 for some twenty minutes : and if you are a home-bred and un- 
 travelled person, 't is likely, as the valet says in Cinderella, that 
 I may chance to make you stare !' 
 
 IN discoursing of the territorial wonderments in question, 
 which have been moulded by the hand of the ALMIGHTY, I can 
 not suppose that you who read my reveries will look with a com- 
 pact, imaginative eye upon that which has forced its huge radius 
 upon my own extended vision. I ask you, howbeit, to take my 
 arm, and step forth with me from the piazza of the Mountain 
 House. It is night. A few stars are peering from a dim azure
 
 212 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 field of western sky ; the high-soaring breeze, the breath of heav- 
 en, makes a stilly music in the neighboring pines ; the meek crest 
 of Dian rolls along the blue depths of ether, tinting with silver 
 lines the half dun, half fleecy clouds ; they who are in the parlors 
 make ' considerable' noise ; there is an individual at the end of 
 the portico discussing his quadruple julep, and another devotedly 
 sucking the end of a cane, as if it were full of mother's milk ; he 
 hummeth also an air from II Pirata., and wonders, in the sim- 
 plicity of his heart, ' why the devil that there steam-boat from 
 Albany does n't begin to show its lights down on the Hudson.' 
 His companion of the glass, however, is intent on the renewal 
 thereof. Calling to him the chief ' help' of the place, he says 
 * Is that other antifogmatic ready ?' 
 
 No, sir.' 
 
 '* Well, now, person, what's the reason ? What was my last 
 observation ? Says I to you, says I, ' Make me a fourth of 
 them beverages ;' and moreover, I added, ' Just you keep doing 
 so ; be constantly making them, till the order is countermanded.' 
 Give us another ; go ! vanish ! ' disappear and appear !' ' 
 
 The obsequious servant went ; and returning with the desired 
 draught, observed probably for the thousandth time : ' There ! 
 that's what I call the true currency ; them's the ginooync mint 
 drops ; HA ha ha ! these separate divisions of his laughter 
 coming out of his mouth at intervals of about half a minute each. 
 
 THERE is a bench near the verge of the Platform where, 
 when you sit at evening, the hollow-sounding air comes up from 
 the vast vale below, like the restless murmurs of the ocean. 
 Anchor yourself here for a while, reader, with me. It being the 
 evening of the national anniversary, a few patriotic individuals 
 are extremely busy in piling up a huge pyramid of dried pine 
 branches, barrels covered with tar, and kegs of spirits, to a height 
 of some fifteen or twenty feet perhaps higher. A bonfire is 
 premeditated. You shall see anon, how the flames will rise. 
 The preparations are completed ; the fire is applied. Hear how 
 it crackles and hisses ! Slowly but spitefully it mounts from 
 limb to limb, and from one combustible to another, until the 
 whole welkin is a-blaze, and shaking as with thunder ! It is a 
 beautiful sight. The gush of unwonted radiance rolls in efful- 
 gent surges adown the vale. How the owl hoots with surprise 
 at the interrupting light ! Bird of wisdom, it is the Fourth ! 
 and you may well add your voice to swell the choral honors of 
 the time. How the tall old pines, withered by the biting scathe 
 of Eld, rise to the view, afar and near ; white shafts, bottomed
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 213 
 
 in darkness, and standing like the serried spears of an innumera- 
 ble army ! The groups around the beacon are gathered togeth- 
 er, but are forced to enlarge the circle of their acquaintance, by 
 the growing intensity of the increasing blaze. Some of them, 
 being ladies, their white robes waving in the mountain breeze, 
 and the light shining full upon them, present, you observe, a- 
 beautiful appearance. The pale pillars of the portico flash fit- 
 fully into view, now seen and gone, like columns of mist. The 
 swarthy African who kindled the fire regards it^with perspiring 
 face and grinning ivories ; and lo ! the man who hath mastered 
 the quintupled glass of metamorphosed eau-de-vie, standing by 
 the towering pile of flame, and, reaching his hand on high, he 
 smiteth therewith his sinister pap, with a most hollow sound ; the 
 knell, as it were of his departing reason. In short, he is making 
 an oration ! 
 
 Listen to those voiceful currents of air, traversing the vast pro- 
 found below the Platform ! What a mighty circumference do 
 they sweep ! Over how many towns, and dwellings, and streams, 
 and incommunicable woods ! Murmurs of the dark, sources and 
 awakeners of sublime imagination, swell from afar. You have 
 thoughts of eternity and power here, which shall haunt you ever- 
 more. But we must be early stirrers in the morning. Let us 
 to bed. 
 
 You can lie on your pillow at the Kaatskill House, and see 
 the god of day look upon you from behind the pinnacles of the 
 White Mountains in New Hampshire, hundreds of miles away. 
 Noble prospect ! As the great orb heaves up in ineffable gran- 
 deur, he seems rising from beneath you, and you fancy that you 
 have attained an elevation where may be seen the motion of the 
 world. No intervening land to limit the view, you seem suspend- 
 ed in mid-air, without one obstacle to check the eye. The scene 
 is indescribable. The chequered and interminable vale, sprinkled 
 with groves, and lakes, and towns, and streams ; the mountains 
 afar off, swelling tumultuously heavenward, like waves of the 
 ocean, some incarnadined with radiance, others purpled in shade ; 
 all these, to use the language of an auctioneer's advertisement, 
 ' are too tedious to mention, but may be seen on the premises.' 
 I know of but one picture which will give the reader an idea of 
 this ethereal spot. It was the view which the angel Michael was 
 polite enough, one summer morning, to point out to Adam, from 
 the highest hill of Paradise : 
 
 4 His eye might there command wherever stood 
 City of old or modern fame, the seat
 
 214 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Of mightiest empire, from the destined walls 
 Of Cambalu, seat of Cathai'an Can, 
 And Sarmachand by Oxus, Temir's throne, 
 To Paquin of Sinaean kings ; and thence 
 To Agra and Lahor of great Mogul 
 Down to the golden Chersonese ; or where 
 The Persian in Ecbatan sat, or since 
 In Hizpahan ; or where the Russian Ksar 
 In Mosco : or the Sultan in Bizance, 
 Turchestan born ; nor could his eye not ken 
 The empire of Negus, to his utmost port, 
 Erocco ; and the less maritime kings 
 Mombaza, and Quiloa, and Melind, 
 And Sofala, thought Ophir, to the realm 
 Of Congo and Angola, farthest south ; 
 Or thence from Niger flood to Atlas' mount, 
 The kingdoms of Almanzor, Fez, and Suz, 
 Morocco, and Algier, and Tremizen ; 
 On Europe thence, and where Rome was to sway 
 The world ; in spirit perhaps he also saw 
 Rich Mexico, the seat of Montezume, 
 (And Texas too, great HOUSTON'S seat who knows ?) 
 And Cusco in Peru, the richer seat 
 Of Atabalipa ; and yet unspoiled 
 Guiana, whose great city Geyro'ns sons 
 Call El Dorado.' 
 
 OF the Falls, sooth to say, little can be ejaculated in the eulo- 
 gistic way. The cataract is only * on hand' for a part of the 
 time. It is kept in a dam, and let down for two shillings. The 
 demand for the article has sometimes exceeded the supply, es- 
 pecially in dry weather. We quote the sales, as per register, 
 while there, at perhaps some three hundred yards. Oh, Mercu- 
 ry ! Scenery by the square foot ! Sublimity by the quintal ! 
 
 IT looks to be a perilous enterprise, to descend the Kaatskills, 
 You feel, as you commence the ' facilis descensus,' (what an un- 
 hackneyed phrase, to be sure !) very much the sort of sensation 
 probably experienced by Parachute Cocking, whose end was so 
 shocking. The wheels of the coach are shod with the prepara- 
 tion of iron slippers, which are essential to a hold up ; and as 
 you bowl and grate along, with wilderness-chasms and a brawling 
 stream mayhap on one hand, and horrid masses of stone seem- 
 ingly ready to tumble upon you on the other ; the far plain 
 stretching like the sea beneath you, in the mists of the morning ; 
 your emotions are Jidgetty. You are not afraid not you, in- 
 deed ! Catch you at such folly ! No ; but you wish most de- 
 voutly that you were some nine miles down, notwithstanding, and 
 are looking eagerly for that consummation.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 216 
 
 WE paused just long enough at the base of the mountain, to 
 water the cattle, and hear a bit of choice grammar from the land- 
 lord ; a burly, big individual, ' careless of the objective case,' 
 and studious of ease, in bags of tow-cloth, (trowsers by courtesy,) 
 and a roundabout of the same material ; the knees of the unmen- 
 tionables apparently greened by kneeling humbly at the lactifer- 
 ous udder of his only cow, day by day. He addressed ' the gen- 
 tleman that driv' us down :' 
 
 ' Well, Josh, I seen them rackets /' 
 
 ' Wa' n't they almighty bright ?' was the inquisitive reply. 
 
 This short colloquy had reference to a train of fire-works 
 which were set off the evening before at the Mountain House ; 
 long snaky trails of light, flashing in their zigzag course through 
 the darkness. It was beautiful to see those fiery sentences writ- 
 ten fitfully on the sky, fading one by one, like some Hebrew 
 character, some Nebuchadnezzar scroll, in the dark profound, and 
 showing, as the rocket fell and faded, that beneath the lowest 
 deep to which it descended, there was one yet lower still, to 
 which it swept ' plumb-down, a shower of fire.' 
 
 We presently rolled away, and were soon drawn up in front 
 of the Hudson and the horse-boat, at the landing. The same 
 unfortunate animals were peering forth from that aquatic vehicle ; 
 one of them dropping his hairy lip, with a melancholy expression, 
 and the other strenuously endeavoring to remove a wisp of straw 
 which had found a lodgment on his nose. The effort, however, 
 was vain ; his physical energies sank under the task ; he gave it 
 up, and was soon under way for the opposite shore, with his four- 
 legged fellow traveller, and three bipeds, who were smoking segars. 
 
 IT is right pleasant and joyous to see the number of juvenile 
 patriots who are taken forth into the country, (whose glories for 
 the first time, perhaps, are shed upon their town-addicted eyes,) 
 on the great national holiday. To them, the flaunting honors of 
 the landscape have a new beauty, and a joyous meaning ; the 
 sun hangs above them like a great ball of fire in the sky ; the 
 waters wear a glittering sheen ; and the wide moving pulse of 
 life beats with a universal thrill of happiness to them. I could 
 not but note the number of urchins in the steamer, whom their 
 'paternal derivatives' were guiding around, and showing to their 
 vision at least, ' all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of 
 them.' 
 
 WELL, to those who are disposed to glean philosophy from 
 the mayhap less noticeable objects of this busy world, there are
 
 216 OLLAFODIANA. 
 
 few sights more lovely than childhood. The little cherub who 
 now sits at my knee, and tries, with tiny effort, to clutch tho 
 quill with which I am playing for you, good reader ; whose ca- 
 pricious taste, varying from ink-stand to paper, and from that to 
 books, and every other portable thing all ' moveables that I 
 could tell you of he has in his little person those elements 
 which constitute both the freshness of our sublunary mortality, 
 and that glorious immortality which the mortal shall yet put on* 
 Gazing upon his fair young brow, his peach-like cheek, and the 
 depths of those violet eyes, I feel myself rejuvenated. That 
 which bothered Nicodemus, is no marvel to me. I feel that I 
 have a new existence ; nor can I dispel the illusion. It is harder, 
 indeed, to believe that he will ever be what I am, than that I am 
 otherwise than he is now. I can not imagine that he will ever 
 become a pilosus adult, with harvests for the razor on that downy 
 chin. Will those golden locks become the brown auburn 2 
 Will that forehead rise as a varied and shade-changing record of 
 pleasure or care ? Will the classic little lips, now colored as by 
 the radiance of a ruby, ever be fitfully bitten in the glow of liter- 
 ary composition? and will those sun-bright locks, which hang 
 about his temples like the soft lining of a summer cloud, become 
 meshes where hurried fingers shall thread themselves in play ? 
 By the mass, I can not tell. But this I know. That which 
 hath been, shall be : the lot of manhood, if he live, will be upon 
 him ; the charm, the obstacle, the triumphant fever ; the glory, the 
 success, the far-reaching thoughts, 
 
 4 That make them eagle wings 
 To pierce the unborn years.' 
 
 I might ' prattle out of reason,' and fancy what, in defiance of 
 precedent furnished by propinquity of blood, he possibly might 
 be ; an aldermanic personage, Redolent of wines and soup ;- 
 goodly in visage, benevolent in act, but strict in justice. I might 
 fancy him with a most voluminous periphery, and a laugh that 
 shakes the diaphragm, from the imo pectorc to the vast circumfer- 
 ence of the outer man. These things may be imagined, but not 
 believed. Yet it is with others as with ourselves : ' We know 
 what they are, but not what they may be.' Time adds to the 
 novel thoughts of the child, the tricks and joyance of the urchin ; 
 the glow of increasing years, the passion of the swelling heart, 
 when experience seems to school its energies. But in the flush 
 of young existence, I can compare a child, the pride and delight 
 of its mother and its kindred, to nothing else on earth, of its own 
 form or image. It is like a young and beautiful bird ; heard,,
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 217 
 
 perhaps, for once, in the days of our juvenescence, and remem- 
 bered ever after, though never seen again. Its thoughts, like the 
 ruinbow-colored messenger discoursed of in the poetic entomol- 
 of La Marline: 
 
 4 BORN with the spring, and with the roses dying 
 Through the clear sky on Zephyr's pinions sailing ; 
 
 On the young flowret's open bosom lying 
 Perfume, and light, and the blue air inhaling ; 
 
 Shaking the thin dust from its wings, and fleeing, 
 And soaring like a breath in boundless heaven : 
 
 How like Desire, to which no rest is given ! 
 
 Which still uneasy, rifling every treasure, 
 
 Returns at last above, to seek for purer pleasure.' 
 
 IN truth, I do especially affect that delightful period in the life 
 of every descendant of old Fig Leaves, in Eden, which may 
 truly be called the April of the heart. How sweet are its smiles ! 
 And on the face* of babyhood, ' the tears,' to use the dainty term 
 of Sir Philip Sidney, ' come dropping down like raine in y e sun- 
 shine, and no heed being taken to wype them, they hang upon 
 the cheekes and lippes, as upon cherries which the dropping tree 
 bedeweth.' Halcyon season ! Its pure thoughts and rich emo- 
 tions come and go, like the painted waftage of a morning cloud ; 
 or most like that fulness of pearls which may be shaken from the 
 matin spray. The night, to such, comes with its vesper hush 
 and stillness, like the shadow of a shade. Sorrow is transient, 
 and Hope ever new. Sabbath of the soul, fresh from its GOD ! 
 To the vision of these, how brightly the 'leaves move, and the 
 breeze-crisped waters quiver ! How their quick pulses bound, 
 in the newness of existence, at that which is ancient and dis- 
 dained of the common eye ! To them, every color is prismatic, 
 and wears the hue of Eden. With thoughts like these, however 
 un-novel, I apostrophize ' MY BOY :' 
 
 THOU hast a fair unsullied cheek, 
 
 A clear and dreaming eye, 
 Whose bright and winning glances speak 
 
 Of life's first revelry ; 
 And on thy brow no look of care 
 Comes like a cloud, to cast a shadow there. 
 
 In feeling's early freshness blest, 
 
 Thy wants and wishes few : 
 Rich hopes are garnered in thy breast, 
 
 As summer's morning dew 
 Is found, like diamonds, in the rose, 
 Nestling, mid folded leaves, in sweet repose.
 
 218 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Keep thus, in love, the heritage 
 Of thy ephemeral spring ; 
 
 Keep its pure thoughts, till after age 
 Weigh down thy spirit's wing ; 
 
 Keep the warm heart, the hate of sin, 
 
 And heavenly peace will on thy soul break in. 
 
 And when the even-song of years 
 Brings in its shadowy train 
 
 The record of life's hopes and fears, 
 Let it not be in vain, 
 
 That backward on existence thou canst look, 
 
 As on a pictured page or pleasant book. 
 
 IN the wonder which we feel as to children growing old, we 
 are apt to associate ourselves with them. When one who, in the 
 hey-dey of his blood, and before the glow of the purpureum 
 lumen of his ' bettermost hours' has begun to diminish, is led to 
 regard (and to hear, beside, for the fact rings often at his auricu- 
 lar portals) that a vital extract is extant, he wonders if that 
 ' embryon atom' will ever come to denominate the agent of his 
 "being as ' the old gentleman !' Of course, it must be impossible. 
 Yet ' there is no mistake on some points.' In the course of his 
 travels, Old Time effects many a marvel ; but he pushes on with 
 his agricultural implement, and streaming forelock ; (nobody 
 * does him proud,' and he disdains the toupee,) until his oldest 
 friends are metamorphosed, and his youngest begin to experience 
 how ' tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in ilKs.' This reminds 
 me of a song, which I like amazingly, because it contains such a 
 mingling of truth, beauty, and melody : 
 
 I OFTEW think each tottering form 
 
 That limps along in life's decline. 
 Once bore a heart as young, as warm, 
 
 As full of idle thoughts as HIKE ! 
 
 And each has had his dream of joy, 
 
 His own unequalled, pure romance ; 
 Commencing, when the blushing boy 
 
 First thrills at lovely woman's glance. 
 
 And each could tell his tale of youth 
 Would think its scenes of love evince 
 More passion, more unearthly truth, 
 j - Than any tale, before or since. 
 
 / \ w 
 
 Yes ! they could tell of tender lays 
 
 At midnight penned, in classic shades, 
 Of days more bright than modern days 
 Of maids more fair than living maids.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Of whispers in a willing ear, 
 
 Of kisses on a blushing cheek 
 Each kiss, each whisper, far too dear 
 
 For modern lips to give or speak. 
 
 Of prospects, too, untimely crossed, 
 
 Of passion slighted or betrayed 
 Of kindred spirits early lost, 
 
 And buds that blossomed but to fade. 
 
 Of beaming eyes, and tresses gay, 
 
 Elastic form and noble brow, 
 And charms that all have passed away, 
 
 And left them what we see them now! 
 
 And is it thus ! is human love 
 
 So very light and frail a thing ! 
 And must Youth's brightest visions move 
 
 For ever on Time's restless wing ? 
 
 Must all the eyes that still are bright, 
 
 And all the lips that talk of bliss, 
 And all the forms so fair to sight, 
 
 Hereafter only come to this ? 
 
 Then what are Love's best visions worth, 
 If we at length must lose them thus ? 
 
 If all we value most on earth, 
 Ere long must fade away from us ? 
 
 If that one being whom we take 
 
 From all the world, and still recur 
 To all she said, and for her sake 
 
 Feel far from joy, when far from her. 
 
 If that one form which we adore, f !t 
 From youth to age, in bliss or pain, 
 
 Soon withers and is seen no more 
 Why do we love if love be vain ? 
 
 In what strange contrast with a picture like this, does the beau- 
 tiful UHLAND place some of his nature-colored characters ! How 
 sweetly does he draw the picture of two devoted beings, practis- 
 ing palmistry, with palm to palm, and uttering a world of downy 
 nonsense beneath the rolling moon : 
 
 IN a garden fair were roaming, 
 
 Two lovers, hand in hand ; 
 Two pale and shadowy creatures, 
 They sat in that flowery land. 
 
 On the lips, they kissed each other, 
 
 On the cheeks so full and smooth ; 
 They were wrapt in close embracings 
 
 They were warm in the flush of youth.'
 
 220 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 These are very apt verses to be made directly out of a man's 
 head, are n't they ? How the author must have been haunted 
 with visions all 
 
 Sweeter than the lids of Juno's eyes, 
 Or Cytherea's breath.' 
 
 I FORGOT to observe, that the postillion of whom I have spok- 
 en, was rather profane. He told a story of his experience some 
 years before, with a divine, who was riding with him, on his pro- 
 fessional seat, in the west, to attend a ' protracted meeting.' ' It 
 was about 'lection time,' said he, * and I had just gi'n in my vote. 
 Of course, I was used with hospitality ; and I was a leetle * how- 
 come-you-so ?' as Miss Kimball says in her Tower. Well I 
 driv on, at an uncommon rapid rate ; (that's a fact ;) and when- 
 sumever I threw out the mail-bags at a stoppin' place, I replen- 
 ished the inner individual. At last I became, as the parson ob- 
 served, ' manifestly inebriated ;' and he ondertook for to lecter mef 
 I said nothing, until he observed, or rather remarked, that ' he 
 should not be surprised if" I fell from my seat some day, and 
 would be found with my head broke, arid extravagantsated blood 
 on the pious matter.' ' 
 
 ' * Well,' says I, ' I should n't be surprised ; it would be just 
 my d d etarnal luck !' 
 
 ' He did n't say no more all the trip. I shot him up.' 
 
 'But the election' it was inquired 'did you succeed in 
 that?' 
 
 ' Oh, yes ; and the man that we put in, made a fool of himself 
 at Albany, into the Legislature, and there was a piece put into a 
 book about him a'terwards.' 
 
 ' Ah ? what was it ?' 
 
 ' Here it is,' was the reply of my gentleman, as he drew from 
 bis pocket a worn fragment of a printed page. 
 
 ' On the first day of the session, he was enabled to utter the be- 
 ginning of a sentence, which would probably have had no end, if 
 it had not been cut short, as it was, by the Speaker. On the presen- 
 tation of some petitions, which he thought had a bearing on bis 
 favorite subject, the election by the people of public notaries, in- 
 spectors of beef and pork, sole-leather, and staves and heading, 
 he got on his legs. ' When,' said he, ' Mr. Speaker, we consider 
 the march of intellect in these united, as I may say confederated, 
 States, and how the genius of liberty soars, in the vast expanse, 
 stretching her eagle plumes from the Pacific Ocean to Long Island 
 
 sound, gazing with eyes of fire upon the ruins of empires ' 
 
 just at which point of aerial elevation, the Speaker brought
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 down the metaphorical flight of the genius, and that of the aspir- 
 ing orator together, by informing the latter that he should be 
 happy to hear him when in order, but that there was now no 
 question before the House /'* 
 
 ' What was the name of this man?' was a query following this 
 eloquent extract. 
 
 * Smith, Sir, was his name ; Smith, John Smith, of Smithopolis 
 and surrogate of Smith County. He was the first man in Smith- 
 ville ; was a blacksmith in his youth, a goldsmith a'terwards, and 
 John Smith through all. A consistent man, Sir ; no change 
 with him ; always upright, but always poor ; unchanging, for he 
 had nothing to change with ! He was a distinguished man ; had 
 letters advertised in the post office ; owned a blood horse ; 
 led the choir at church ; read ' the Declaration' on every Fourth- 
 of-July ; made all the acquaintances he could ; was exceedingly 
 fussy on all occasions. In short, he was a t very great man in a 
 small way. His speech will stand as a memorial of his genius, 
 when the Kaatskills shall be troubled with the mildew of time, 
 and the worms of decay !' 
 
 WELL the reign of autumn, for the present year, has come ; 
 and there will doubtless be the annual quotations of description 
 in the newspaper market. Some of it will remain on first hands, 
 and the rest" will find a ready circulation. Meditation will vent 
 itself upon apostrophe ; poetry will be engendered; old songs 
 will be re-sung. It is, in truth, a delicious season, and no one 
 can be blamed for yielding himself up to its influences. When 
 the first yellow surges of September sunlight seem to roll through 
 the atmosphere ; when the dust of the city street, as you look at 
 some stately carriage, whose wheels are flashing toward the west, 
 seems rising around them like an atmosphere, colored betwixt 
 the hue of gold and crimson : when the mountains put on their 
 beautiful garments, where tints of the rainbow mingle with the 
 aerial blue of the sky ; when the winds have a melancholy music 
 in their tone, and the heaven above us is enrobed in surpassing 
 purity and lustre ; then, the dwellers in great capitals may per- 
 haps conceive of the richness and fruition of the country ; but 
 they cannot approach the reality. The harvest moon has waned ; 
 the harvest home been held ; the wheat is in the garner ; the last 
 peaches hang blushing on the topmost branches where they grew; 
 the fragrant apples lie in fairy-colored mounds beneath the or- 
 chard trees, and the cheerful husbandman whistles at the cider- 
 
 SANDS.
 
 . OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 As September yields her withered sceptre into the grasp 
 of October, the hills begin to invest themselves in those many- 
 colored robes which are the livery of their new sovereign. As 
 my observant friend, (a well-beloved Epenetus,) who hath dis- 
 coursed of matters outre-mer, so richly hymns it, then there comes 
 
 A MELLOW richness on the clustered trees ; 
 And, from a beaker full of richest dyes, 
 Pouring new glory on the autumn woods, 
 And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds, 
 Morn, on the mountain, like a summer bird, 
 Lifts up her purple wing; and in the vales 
 The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer, 
 Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life 
 Within the solemn woods of ash deep crimsoned, 
 And silver beech, the maple yellow leaved 
 Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down 
 By the way-side a-weary. Through the trees 
 The golden robin moves ; the purple finch, 
 That on wild cherry and red cedar feeds, 
 A winter bird comes with its plaintive whistle, 
 And pecks by the witch hazel ; while aloud, 
 From cottage roofs, the warbling blue-bird sings. 
 
 To me, there is nothing of that dark solemnity about the au- 
 tumnal season, which it has to the morbid or the foreboding. It 
 comes, laden with plenty, and breathing of peace. There seems 
 a sweet monition in every whisper of the gale, and the rustle of 
 every painted leaf, which may speak a world of tranquillity to the 
 contemplative mind. If there be sadness around and within, it 
 is the sadness which is cherished, and the gloom that purifies ; it 
 is that doubtful twilight of the heart, which is succeeded at last 
 by a glorious morning. We think with the serene and heavenly- 
 minded Malcolm, of the distant, or the departed, who have gone 
 before us to lay down their heads upon pillows of clay, and re- 
 pose in the calm monotony of the tomb. Reflection asserts her 
 sway, and the spirit expands into song : 
 
 Sweet Sabbath of the Year! 
 
 When evening lights decay, 
 Thy parting steps methinks I hear, 
 
 Steal from the world away. 
 
 Amid thy silent bowers, 
 
 'T is sad but sweet to dwell, 
 Where falling leaves and fading flowert 
 
 Around me breathe farewell. 
 
 Along thy sun-set skies, 
 
 Their glories melt in shade ; 
 And like the things we fondly prize, 
 
 Seem lovelier as they fade.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 223 
 
 A deep and crimson streak 
 
 The dying leaves disclose, 
 As on Consumption's waning cheeky 
 
 Mid ruin, blooms the rose. 
 
 The scene each vision brings 
 
 Of beauty in decay ; 
 Of fair and early-faded things, 
 
 Too exquisite to stay ; 
 
 Of joys that come no more ; 
 
 Of flowers whose bloom is fled ; 
 Of farewells wept upon the shore 
 
 Of friends estranged, or dead ! 
 
 Of all, that now may seem 
 
 To memory's tearful eye 
 The vanished beauty of a dream, 
 
 O'er which we gaze and sigh ! 
 
 AND now, reader, Benedicite! ' Hail and farewell!' 
 
 Decidedly thine, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER TWENTY-ONE. 
 
 December, 1837. 
 
 As I was saying last month, beloved reader, that 'I am 
 
 thine in promise,' or to that purport, I have anchored myself in 
 myfauteuil, to the end that I may be thine in fulfilment. In our 
 conversation about the Kaatskills, I omitted sundry pertinent mat- 
 ters, with the which, however, malgre the postponement, I shall 
 not here afflict. Since that period, I have for the most part been 
 pent i' the populous city, amid the wakeful noises by day thereof, 
 and by night the calm security of the streets thereof. I affect 
 the supernatural bawl of the watchman, as it rings up to my pil- 
 low ; I love the serenade which the neighboring lover sings to his 
 fair, and of which I get the good as well as herself; I like to see 
 the straggling cloud go floating over tne slumbering town at mid- 
 night, with the moon sikering its edge ; or mayhap to note the 
 sheen of a star greeting the vision over a chimney-pot. All these 
 have charms for my eye and ear ; I seem to see holy sights and 
 shapes in the firmament ; the winds come and go on their circuits, 
 unknowing how many brows they fan ; and at times they hush a 
 whole metropolis to silence, insomuch that its wide boundary 
 scarce produces so much noise ' as doth a chestnut in a farmer's 
 fire.'
 
 224 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 BY-THE-BY, when the sun begins to set at right declensions, 
 and make his winter arches, I always think of the roaring fires in the 
 domicil of the rural husbandman, with feelings akin to envy. Ye 
 who toast your heels by anthracite ; who survey the meagre * blue 
 blazes' of Liverpool coal, and whose nostrils take in the dry odor 
 thereof, being reminded thereby of those ever-burning brimstone 
 beds, where Apollyon keeps his court, and Judas has his resi- 
 dence ; ye, T say, who have a life-long intimacy with these sorts of 
 fuel, can have but small conception of a winter's fire in the country. 
 Far round doth it illuminate the apartment where it rages ; intolera- 
 ble is proximity thereunto ; and its ' circle of admirers' is always 
 large, because they can not come a-nigh. A pleasant disdain is 
 felt for the snow which whirls on whistling wings against the pane ; 
 the herds are huddled in their cotes secure ; and the storm has 
 permission to mumble its belly full, and spit snow at its pleasure. 
 Hugeous reminiscences of delight come over my spirit, in this 
 connexion ; post-school-hours ; the steaming bowl of flip, or 
 those orthographical convocations, where buxom maidens exulted 
 in their secret heart, as tall words were vociferously mounted, in 
 correct emission, by greenhorn swain. Sleigh-rides likewise ; 
 amatory pressures, under skin of buffalo or bison ; long proces- 
 sions through wintry villages, whose tall smokes rose from every 
 chimney ; pillars of blue, standing upright in the air, like columns 
 of sapphire. Cider, with its acidity of remembrance ; apples, that 
 melted on the tongue, as they descended toward the diaphragm ; 
 landscapes of snow ; and slides down hill ! not forgetting those 
 skating achievements, which for the time being fill the mind with 
 such pride. All these circumstances and events, with curious con- 
 fusion, hang in a nucleus about my memories of a rural hearth; 
 'but these I passen by, with nameless numbers moe.' Shaks- 
 peare had a good notion of the comforts to which I refer. He 
 puts a lovely sentiment into the mouth of King Richard II., 
 when he causes him to utter to the royal lady this tender lan- 
 guage : 
 
 ' GOOD sometimes queen, prepare thee hence for France : 
 Think I am dead ; and that from me thou tak'st, 
 As from my death-bed, my last living leave. 
 In winter's tedious nights, sit by the fire 
 With good old folks ; and let them tell thee tales 
 Of woful ages, long ago betid ; 
 And ere thou bid good-night, to quit their grief, 
 Tell thou the lamentable fall of me !' 
 
 I HAVE not, howbeit, reader, as might be inferred from what 
 has been herein before written, spent all the mean season spoken
 
 225 
 
 of, in the busy capital. I have made, with household appurten- 
 ances, and delights, and responsibilities, an autumnal tour or ' ex- 
 crescence' into the country, round about the Empire Town. 
 Quotidian columns have borne the register thereof; hence Be- 
 nevolence prompt to crucify farther infliction. The landscapes 
 surveyed were beautiful ; though it may be said of the eminences, 
 as Mr. William Lackaday observes in the play, of his boy-seen 
 uplands : ' Them there hills was n't clothed with much werder.' 
 
 <p 
 
 How many steam-boat accidents are occurring constantly ! 
 ,One of late astonished the peaceful Delaware. But it did one 
 good act. The explosion Wew away a piece of very bad ortho- 
 graphy in the cabin of one of those craft which ply between Phil- 
 adelphia and Camden. Perilous voyages do they make, indeed. 
 Nurses with their blooming charges, and who have never been 
 to sea, embark in them to behold the wonders of the deep ! The 
 disaster I speak of arose from that which made the angels fall. 
 'T was curst ambition. One boat was going several inches ahead of 
 another, and urged its engine to the rate of at least fifty miles the 
 hour. Rivalry was awakened ; the captain of the hapless craft 
 yelled to his assistant : ' Josey, we '11 have a race with that t'other 
 imperent boat ! Put that other stick of wood into the furnace ! 
 My pride is elewated. Never mind the expense this time !' 
 
 The command was given ; the boiler collapsed ; and ambition 
 was ended ! The orthography blown from the steamer was 
 this: 
 
 4 No smoking aloud in the cabing !' 
 
 This was an injunction obeyed per force, for it could not be 
 broken.* It specified tacit fumigation : 
 
 1 Nothing could live 
 
 Twixt that and silence ;' 
 
 and the unnecessary monition was no great loss, either to luxury 
 or learning. 
 
 LET me here register a letter which I have received from the 
 
 APROPOS of this 'supererogatory and adscititious' prohibition. The small 
 steamers which ply on the beautiful Connecticut, above the ancient fortification 
 of < Goed Hoop,' renowned in KNICKERBOCKER'S veracious history, and now 
 known as ' Dutch Point,' have but one paddle-wheel, which is placed some six or 
 eight feet astern. The voyager in these petty craft is forcibly struck with the 
 necessity of obeying a printed order, conspicuously posted : 'No smoking abaft the 
 wheel ." And those who watch from the shore the locomotive column of spray, 
 (like the ' pillar of cloud by day' that concealed the Israelites,) which hides the 
 boat from view, on its upward passage, must also be of opinion that his 'pipe* 
 would be soon put out,' who should attempt to smoke in so moist a region. 
 
 15
 
 226 OLLA.POIKAN 
 
 Jehu who voted for Smith, of jlnithopolis. He conveys several 
 curious sentiments ; and amoip other matters, rewards the demise 
 of the person to whom he was,mdebted for a lecture : 
 
 Mr DEAR SIR : *N0cem1#r the 5th, 1837. 
 
 ' I have seeu a piece which you made and put into a perryoge published 
 down into the city of New York, to which 1 am a-going to indict a reply. 
 My indictment will be short, as some of the parties is oot present to whicli 
 you have been allusive. But with respect of that then; diwine person you 
 spoke of, I am sorry to remark, that he is uncommonly dead, and wont 
 never give no more" lectures. He was so onfortright as to bu'st a blood- 
 vessel at a pertracted meeting ; and 1 ha n't hearn nothing onto him sence. 
 His motives was probable good ; but in delivering on 'em, it struck me for- 
 cibly that he proximoted to the sassy. However, I never reserves ill will, 
 not ag'inst nobody ; and I authorize you to put this into printing, ef'so be 
 that you deem it useful. That's what Smith used to say, when he pub- 
 lished his self-nominations in the newspapers, that a mam with a horn (they 
 tell me that he has a very large circle of kindred) useck to ride post about, 
 and distribit. 
 
 ' In the sincere congratulation that there has not nothing been said in 
 this communication unproper for the public ear, and for giving you the de- 
 scriptions of the rackets, and other messuages respecting me, which you 
 deeded to the public, I remain yours until death do us part. 
 
 ' Mr. OLLAPOD, M. D.' ' POST TILLION. 
 
 Now there is no finding fault with a correspondent of this de- 
 scription. Plain, unadorned, he gives his thoughts the drapery 
 of ink dresses them in black and there they stand, ('what is 
 written remains,') evidences at once of his frankness and his eru- 
 dition. To me, such documents, though light, and perhaps un- 
 palatable to those who prefer the heavier condiments of literature, 
 form the cream or the dessert of life's plenteous table. 
 
 TALKING of desserts by which (whisper) I don't mean the 
 boundless contiguity of western wildernesses, nor the sandy 
 bounds of Zahara, but the after-glories of a dinner I have of 
 late arrived at some curious embellishments of delicacies, on the 
 part of those who are bent upon improving th6 English language, 
 at all hazards ; upon extending it to the utmost latitude of dainty 
 expression and culture. The Astor House, I learn, at its La- 
 dies' Ordinary, has furnished forth some glorious specimens of 
 English improved. ' Sir,' said an exquisite, desirous of parta- 
 king a certain delicacy for himself and his fair : 
 
 ' Have you at present any of the chastised idiot-brother ?' 
 
 'Han't seen no relations of your 'n here to-day,' ^nurmured 
 the waiter, ' with an imperturbable and ' furtive' smile.' 
 
 ' Don't be impertinent, fellow !' was the reply ; ' I raffim some- 
 thing to eat !' 
 
 1 If you want to eat anything in the idiot line,' replied the ser-
 
 OL.LAPODIANA. 227 
 
 vant, aside, as his inquisitor fingered his mustache, I guess 
 you 'd better put some butter on your hair, and swallow yourself 1 
 And here the sacrilegious usher of sauces and glasses indulged 
 in a half-suppressed guffaw. 
 
 ' Dar' say you consider that funny, my short help? said the 
 inquirer ; ' but what I want is what you call whipped-syllabub. 
 Heaven help your ignorance !' 
 
 The requisite was handed the exquisite appeased. But his 
 quiet was brief. Calling to him the same locomotive assistance, 
 he inquired : 
 
 ' Now, individual, I want some sacrificed-threshed-indigent-wil- 
 liams. Have you got any ?' 
 
 ' Not one, upon my soul, your honor ; that is, if you mean 
 turnips.' 
 
 * Turnips ! curse turnips ! you double-distilled Vandal ; you 
 Goth you Visigoth ! I mean, have you got any roasted whip- 
 poor-wills ?' 
 
 ' Holy Paul !' said a Hibernian ' help,' who had drawn anigh, 
 attracted by the discussion ; ' in the name of the Virgin, what is 
 them ?' 
 
 Just at this juncture, the eaves-dropping by-stander who fur- 
 nishes the mem. of this, came away, leaving the emerald son 
 more verdant to look at than his native isle staring as if in a fit 
 of astronomy, in eclipse-time. 
 
 ONE of my autumnal recreations, good my reader, is hunting. 
 I pull a most fatal trigger. Venerie delighteth me, when the day 
 is good and the game abundant. I love (Heaven forgive me !) to 
 bring down the squirrel, with the half-munched chestnut in his teeth, 
 what time his bushy tail, no longer waving in triumph over his 
 back, as he bounds from limb to limb, quivers in articulo mortis. 
 I confess me none of your cockney venators. Some of these 
 I have seen place the deadly muzzle of a double-barrel rifle at 
 the unsuspecting tail of a wren, while the proximity of metal and 
 feathers was less than an inch ; and when they fired, they plung- 
 ed back some several yards, overcome with horror, though the 
 bird had flown without injury, save indeed some blackened 
 'down, in extremis ; a trifle, with life safe, and the world before 
 her. 
 
 The poetry of gunpowder is in making it tell. To go out when 
 the woods are so beautiful that you deem a score of dying dol- 
 phins hang on every tree, 
 
 1 When the sound of dropping nuts is heard, though all the trees are still, 
 And twinkle in the smoky light the waters of the rill;'
 
 228 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 to hear the delicate tread of the game on the leaves, rustling amid 
 the murmurs of solemn winds, as the westering sun scampers 
 down the west, with a face as red as if he had disgraced the solar 
 family by some misdemeanor ; and then, in some thick recess of 
 passing foliage, and innumerous boughs, then and there to bore 
 winged fowl, and my gentleman quadrupeds of the sylvan fast- 
 ness, with cold lead, is exhilarating. All kinds of volant things 
 that wing the autumn air ; all sorts of movers on four legs ; to 
 make these succumb to the behests of minerals, deadly salts, and 
 a percussion cap to set them on, is a kind of great glory in a very 
 small way. I miss in my excursions of this nature, the kind of 
 sport which I fancy they who course the fields and glades of 
 England must peculiarly enjoy ; hare-hunting, namely. * The 
 ancients,' saith my choice ' Elia,' ' must have loved hares. Else 
 why adopt the word lepores, (obviously from lepits,) but from 
 some subtle analogy between the delicate flavor of the latter, and 
 the finer relishes of wit in what we most poorly translate pleas- 
 antries. The fine madnesses of the poet are the very decoction 
 of his diet. Thence is he hare-brained. Haram-scarum is a 
 libellous, unfounded phrase, of modern usage. 'T is true the 
 hare is the most circumspect of animals, sleeping with her eyes 
 open. Her ears, ever erect, keep them in that wholesome exer- 
 cise, which conduces them to form the very tit-bit of the admirers 
 of this noble animal. Noble will I call her, in spite of her de- 
 tractors, who from occasional demonstrations of the principle of 
 self-preservation (common to animals,) infer in her a defect of 
 heroism. Half a hundred horsemen, with thrice the number of 
 dogs, scour the country in pursuit of puss, across three counties ; 
 and because the well-flavored beast, weighing the odds, is willing 
 to evade the hue and cry, with her delicate ears shrinking per- 
 chance from discord, comes the grave naturalist, Linnaeus, per- 
 chance, or BufFon, and gravely sets down the hare as a timid 
 animal. Why, Achilles, or Bully Dawson, would have declined 
 the preposterous combat!' This is speaking sooth, and vindi- 
 cates the fame of that class of tremulous tenants of rural haunts, 
 whose ears, most unhappily, are sometimes longer than their lives. 
 
 SOMETIMES I surmount my pony, and traverse for miles the 
 banks of the Schuykill ; moving, now fast, now slow, as humor 
 prompts, or clouds portend. The city fades behind me ; the 
 beautiful eminence of Fairmount, its spouting fountains, its stat- 
 ues in the many-colored shade ; the sheen of the river ; the trel- 
 ised pavilions that hang on its side ; the hum of waters, or the 
 cheerings of some regatta, mingle with far obscurity and airy
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 229 
 
 nothing ; and then, as I ride, I sing the song of Anacreon Little* 
 laying every tone to my heart, like a treasure and a spell : 
 
 ' ALONG the Schuykill a wanderer was roving. 
 And dear were its flowery banks to his eye ; 
 (lam bounding along at a good rate am moving 
 I have lost the last lines unregained, if I try.') 
 
 Thus I murder the post-meridian hours, when the weather-office 
 is propitious, and its clerks attentive. 
 
 BY-THE-WAY, how often have I pondered on the extreme sur- 
 prise experienced by Balaam, of Old Testament memory, when he 
 rode out one day on business. His meditations were most unex- 
 pectedly interrupted by the beast he rode ; and he was immense- 
 ly astounded, when he found out the garrulity of the animal. 
 True to her sex, (for she was of the tender gender,) she com- 
 menced a few sentences of small-talk, greatly to his dismay. 
 And who could marvel ? What man but would listen, auribus 
 erectis, when he ascertained that his own ass was opening a con- 
 versation with him ? 'T was thus with Balaam. He was well 
 nigh demented. He pommelled his beast with great vehemence; 
 but she turned her head to him, and said in the Hebrew dialect: 
 'No Go!' 
 
 Is it not wonderful, that those who are skilled in biblical his- 
 tory, who weigh evidence by the ounce, and inference by the 
 pound, is it not a marvel, that they have never traced the obsti- 
 nacy of this four-footed individual to the right motives ? She 
 was, in sooth, the great progenitress of Animal Magnetism; and 
 she presented, in her own person, the first instance of clairvoyance 
 on record, either in prose or rhyme. It was at her hinder feet 
 that MESMER sat, in thought, and caught the inspiration of his 
 science. Balaam sat on her patient back, burdened her hal- 
 lowed vertebras, nor knew how much wisdom he bestrode. 
 Blinded mortal ! He looked ahead for the cause of his deten- 
 tion. He saw no reason why he should not push on ; and in 
 the Egyptian obliquity of his heart, he ' whaled' his ass to a de- 
 gree. It did no good ; on the contrary, 't was quite the reverse. 
 The ass and the angel were looking steadfastly at each other ; 
 but Balaam saw but one of the parties. He noted not the glit- 
 tering and glorious obstacle that stopped the narrow way. The 
 loose and expressionless lips of his ass spoke like a book ; the 
 clairvoyance was established ; but the effect was slow. Hence- 
 forth, when the magnetic science is discussed, honor its foundress. 
 Render unto that ass the things which are asses'.
 
 230 
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 I HAVE achieved a victory which should fire the heart of any 
 tasteful bibliomaniac. I stand seized of Lamb. Understand me, 
 reader, t' is no juvenile mutton, whereof I am possessed ; not 
 adolescent merino, or embryo ram. By no manner of means ; 
 contrariwise, it is TALFOURD'S brief memoir, and a most succu- 
 lent correspondence, by the author of ' ELIA.' 'T is a thing 
 over which a father may waken his boy, in the small hours of the 
 morning, (being yet unmoved bedward,) by a multitudinous guf- 
 faw. Rosy slumber, ruptured by obstreperous laughter ; but ah ! 
 how decidedly unavoidable ! 
 
 Yes ; I write myself proprietor for the nonce of a London 
 edition. My name is written in a Book of the Life of Lamb. 
 Most hugeously do I relish his quaint conceits, and those dainty 
 sentences, the fashioning whereof came to him unbidden, from 
 spirits of the olden time, bending from the clouds of fame. (By- 
 the-by, what an unconscionable dog was Ossian ! He always 
 kept a score or two of heroes, sitting half-dressed on cold clouds, 
 making speeches. 'T was most unkind of him. But he lived 
 in a rude age.) Lamb was one of those precious few of whom 
 the world is not worthy. He wrote from the impulses of a noble 
 heart, guided to new expression by a mind clear as the brook of 
 Siloa, that flowed by the oracles of GOD. He was not one of 
 your persons who are dignified by the phrase ' all heart,' for he 
 had a prolific brain, which all-hearted people generally lack. Of 
 course, he disciplined himself betwixt a desk at the India-House, 
 and his social hours, or studious ; but what golden fruitage sprang 
 therefrom ! None of your crude sentences, half formed, unlicked, 
 unpolished ; but full of meaning ; succinct to the eye, and har- 
 monious to the ear. There is a light from his pen, which can 
 illumine the saddest hour. He went forth to amuse and en- 
 lighten, as the sun gets up in the morning to cheer the world, 
 ' with all his fires and travelling glories round him.' Essayist in- 
 comparable ! How would he have looked w r riting a prize-tale 
 for the horror-mongers ! 
 
 IN respect of these latter things, how many double-distilled 
 atrocities of that kind are now and then committed at this day ! 
 They must be filled with blood and murder ; piracy, thieving, vil- 
 lany of all sorts must be thrown in, to make the mixture ' slab 
 and good.' This is the result of the ten thousand pages of trash, , 
 which the want of a copy-right law entails upon us from Eng- 
 land. Improbability is the first ingredient, to which assassina-? 
 tion, seduction, and all kinds of crime, must approximate. Let t 
 me give a specimen : 
 
 f
 
 O L L A P O D I A X A . 
 
 231 
 
 'THE FATAL vow. 
 
 IT was late in the fall of 18 , (convenient blank !) when, as the night 
 
 had come on, on a stormy evening, a dreadful tempest arose in the west. 
 The lightning flashed, the thunder faintly bellowed for a time ; but soon the 
 lightning discontinued, though the thunder moaned on. It was pitch dark 
 darkness Egyptian. The sight was palsied and checked within an inch of 
 the eye. At this juncture, two men on horseback might have been seen, at 
 the distance of half a mile from the river , riding through a thick wood. 
 One of them was of sallow complexion, with huge black whiskers ; he rode 
 a horse of the color called by rural people ' pumpkin-and-milk,' or cream- 
 color, rather. In his holster were two pistols. He wore a broad slouching 
 hat, apparently unpaid for. A frown, blacker considerably than hell, dark- 
 ened his brow. Turning to his companion, a weazen-faced man, with a red 
 head, mounted on what is called a ' calico mare,' he said : 
 
 Well, Jakarzil, shall we do the deed to-night ?' 
 
 ' It would ill befit the noble Count d'Urzillio de Belleville,' said the de- 
 pendant, ' to shoot that ill-fated lady at the present time. It would not 
 look well.' 
 
 ' I care not for the looks !' replied the count, curling his lip, and placing 
 in his sinister cheek a piece of tobacco, 4 1 must have vengeance ! If the 
 candle is not at the casement, I shall bu'st the door. I want revenge !' 
 
 'TO BE CONTINUED.' 
 
 This is like the modern tales. Meditated butchery, success- 
 ful scoundrelism, and other delectables, make up their sum. As 
 the fragment just read may never be concluded, I will mention 
 the fate of the parties. The hero shot his grandmother out of 
 pique, and was hung ; Jakarzil, his man, is in the penitentiary 
 for horse-stealing. 
 
 SOME of my unpoetical friends think I have underrated the 
 Falls at Kaatskill. Heaven save the mark ! They have never 
 seen Niagara, and are therefore content with a few grim rocks, 
 the gate of a mill-dam, and grandeur by the gallon ; for thus, 
 in a manner, is it sold. No ! Let these untravelled but clever 
 fellows once hear the roar that shakes Goat-Island, and the re- 
 gion round about ; see the river that pours its mile-wide breakers 
 down, and mark the rainbow smile ! Ever thereafter will they 
 hold their peace. 
 
 ONE or two credulous persons have fancied that the sketch of 
 4 Smith of Smithopolis' was designed as an imputation upon the 
 name. The said imputation is disdained, by these presents. I 
 have a decided regard for that style and title : companionship, 
 familiarity, personal knowledge, (so grateful to the inquiring 
 mind,) are its synonyms. Beside, I honor the name, for sundry 
 associations. Who has never rode in a rail-car, a steam-boat, or 
 a coach, with a person of the name of Smith ? Or heard him
 
 232 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 speak at a public meeting ? Or owed him a trifle ? Or had a 
 trifle due from him, the Smith aforesaid ? Nemo 'I undertake 
 to say' (in fact I not only undertake this vocal enterprise, but I 
 accomplish it.) Aside, reader, 'tis a criticism on the phrase; 
 which whoso uses when he knows what he is about to set down 
 in palpable chirography, is a vumpk unqualified : Anglice, one 
 of the flat 'uns, named of Stulti. 
 
 The Smiths are numerous, 't is said. Grant it. Who pays- 
 more post-office revenue ? Who more quickly resents a jeer 
 upon the name ? Tell me that. ' Not Nobody.' Would you 
 look for heroes ? The Smiths could supply them. For female 
 goodness and devotion ? The same, from the same. For wit, 
 genius, and elevated talent? Vide Horace and James, of the 
 Addresses, and Richard Penn ; the studious scholar, good law- 
 yer, quaint citizen, novelist, poet, dramatist every thing clever. 
 
 I HAD many more things to say, courteous reader ; but I fear, 
 from what I have written, you may augur a bore. Heaven for- 
 fend ! Consequently, thine in conclusion, I write myself, hence- 
 forth, now, and formerly, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER TWENTY-TWO. 
 
 March, J838. 
 
 A MONTH Reader, or two months, how fast they get by T 
 How they 'push along and keep moving!' With their 'por- 
 tance to the prince or the beggar to the monarch or the mau- 
 vais sujet they sweep away. When one is at his ease, and in 
 quiet, how imperceptibly they glide ! When friends are looked 
 for, or home is nearing on the wave, how melancholy slow ! 
 Time ambles, canters, trots, walks, or halts, as it were, with 
 thousands at a time. Those who wish his gait the tardiest, me- 
 thinks, are those who take their * last stand' upon a scaffold, and 
 await that dubious moment which divorces Spectacle from Stran- 
 gulation. That is a period of which one cannot complain that it 
 is dull. Like passages in modern novels, (as per booksellers' 
 advertisements) it is of ' thrilling interest.' The only passenger 
 in the black coach just bound for the unknown country waits with 
 exemplary patience for the driver, not willing to leave. Right in 
 his premises, he comes to a wrong conclusion. His neck answers 
 
 for it. 
 
 .
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 233 
 
 SINCE I read that curious piece of ' Elia's on the splendors 
 of the pillory rather than its disgraces, I have had some little 
 curiousness to meditate on that matter ; whether it were possible 
 that one should felicitate himself on a position of the kind ; 
 whether pride could be born of pillory conceptions, or thoughts 
 of grandeur from the gallow-tree. I think they can. 'Twas a 
 proud remark of the Earl Ferrers, when on his way to the gal- 
 lows, in 1796, when he observed to his sheriff, who compliment- 
 ed him upon attracting so great a concourse of people : ' I sup- 
 pose they never saw a lord hanged before.' This incident should 
 be used by some play-wright of modern times, and entitled ' The 
 Earl's Last Chuckle.' This same lord, on the day fixed for his 
 execution, was driven to the gallows in his own landau, dressed 
 in sumptuous garments, the choicest of his taste. Those who 
 demur from gibbet dignity, should have heard the courteous col- 
 loquies which did ensue betwixt him and his sheriff aforesaid. 
 The latter, * seating himself by his lordship, politely observed, 
 that it gave him the highest concern to wait upon him on so mel- 
 ancholy an occasion : adding, that he would do every thing in 
 his power to render his situation as agreeable as possible, dnd 
 hoped his lordship would impute it to the necessary discharge 
 of his duty.' 
 
 There are objects of great interest, too, one might suppose, on 
 a scaffold, as well as in the pillory. Par example, in the case 
 in question. His lordship (by mistake) gave ten guineas to the 
 executioner's assistant, which was immediately after demanded 
 by the master ; but the fellow refused to deliver it, and a dispute 
 ensued, which might have discomposed his lordship.' 
 
 Of course it might. Perhaps he had been a sporting character. 
 Would he not have felt some anxiety to settle the controversy, 
 and see fair play before he went, so as to die in peace ? Indubi- 
 tably. He should have been spared that sight' but h e was 
 spared, before it ended. 
 
 WELL as there is nothing too low to be dignified by some 
 faint coloring, so there is naught too high not to be dimmed. I 
 look upon the moon as an orb of pearly lusture ; upon the stars 
 as diamonds and jewels ; yet ragged clouds, like volant pauper's 
 breeches, patched with yellow, red, or white, around their edges, 
 sail by the stars, and moon, and sun, smirching their beauty, and 
 borrowing brightness not their own. 
 
 Yet I respect the moon. Fair politician ! She changes when 
 she will. Impartial dispenser of radiance ' on tick ;' she gets 
 what she can, and gives all she gets. I honor the planet. Pro-
 
 234 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Hfic mother of hoaxes and sentiment! Grand cloud silver-plater! 
 Meek, virtuous Eminence Presence serene! Thus wert thou 
 once apostrophized, by one now no more : 
 
 i .ioir. >) 
 
 O MOON ! at midnight's contemplative hour, 
 When placid slumber holds his noiseless reign, 
 Throbs my exulting heart to see thee shower 
 Thy streaming splendors upon rock and plain : 
 From earth aloof my panting spirits soars, 
 Communing with revolving worlds on high, 
 Till, lost in deep amazement, forth it pours 
 Its hymn of praise to HIM who lit yon sky, 
 And gave to my young gaze this wondrous scenery ! 
 
 O moon! aside the helmsman lays his chart, 
 To mark thy beams reflected on the sea ; 
 And faithful mem'ry on his lonely heart 
 Gives back the light of childhood's revelry. 
 On his lone pathway may the auspicious gale 
 Propel the expanded canvass o'er the wave: 
 Bright be the cynosure which lights his sail 
 Nigh be the mighty arm outstretched to save, 
 When the blue waves run high, the sea boy from the grave ! 
 
 O moon! the sentinel at midnight hour 
 Rests the dark vigil of his eye on thee, 
 And pours his benison to that high power 
 Who dressed for him that gorgeous scenery : 
 While the bright beams their softer splendors wake, 
 And on his burnished casque and armor play, 
 He hears not the light footstep in yon brake ; 
 His thoughts have wandered to his home away 
 His wife and infant boy are their young bosoms gay ? 
 
 O moon! on thee At the lone hour of night 
 The lover gazes with a swimming eye ! 
 And deems that she to whom his heart is plight, 
 Gazes as fondly on yon glorious sky : 
 Anon his ardent fancy seems to trace, 
 In the bright mirror of night's lonely hour, 
 ' The light of love, the purity of grace,' 
 Which charmed his youthful eye in summer's bower, 
 When to bis heart he pressed his bosom's dearest flower. 
 
 Again he deems, in fancy's wanton flight, 
 Some bark of pearl in beauty sailing there: 
 Slow piloting its dubious path in light, 
 Through the calm ocean of the evening air ! 
 Oh ! how his bosom burns to tempt the gale, 
 With his own loved one, on that azure sea ; 
 With hope's soft zephyr to impel the sail, 
 And no obtrusive, daring eye to see 
 His own endeared caress and love's warm witchery. 
 
 J. R.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 'TWAS a new idea to me, that conveyed of late by the author 
 of Leslie, surnamed Norman, that the only things you see, after 
 crossing the Atlantic, which you have seen before, are the orb 
 of day, sometimes vulgarly called Phoebus, or the sun, the chaste 
 Regent of the Night, or Luna, that green-horns sometimes de- 
 nominate the moon, and those jewels of heaven ' doubloons of 
 the celestial bank,' as a Spanish poet calls them sometimes 
 named stars, by plain, uninitiated persons. These, it seems, are 
 the only old acquaintances a man meets abroad. They are not 
 to be put by. A man may curse his stars, indeed, but he can- 
 not cut them. As well might the great sea essay ' to cast its 
 waters on the burning Bear, and quench the guards of the ever- 
 fixed pole.' Therefore shall I learn henceforth yet more to love 
 those dazzling planets, fixed or errant, because in no long time I 
 may meet them in Philippi. Precious then to me will be their 
 bright companionship ! Milky feelings will come over me, as 
 I scrutinize the via lactea, with upturned eyes ; conscious will 
 be the moon ; inexpressibly dear every glimpse of the lesser 
 lights that rule the night with modest fires. Without the slight- 
 est premonitory symptoms of astrology, and being withal no 
 horologe consulter, I yet do love the stars. Rich, rare, and lus- 
 trous, they win my gaze, and look into my soul. I have seen 
 them at Niagara, glinting upon the mad breakers through the 
 lunar rainbow, with their perpetual flashes ; on the big lakes of 
 the interior, as if the calm waters were but another sky ; on the 
 placid Schuylkill, when the breath of clover-fields came fresh- 
 ened from the wave it never wrinkled; and I have seen them 
 oh climax of beauty ! on the ' Grand Erie Canawl? just before 
 taking a berth in copartnership with bed-bugs ! Enough of stars. 
 I am waxing theatrical. 
 
 ONE word more, though, before I dismiss these luminaries. 
 That verse of Byron's, wherein he compares the object of some 
 early affection to a star, dropping from its sphere, always struck 
 me as peculiarly beautiful. Look at it, reader, and say so too : 
 
 ' I KNOW not if I could have borne 
 
 To see thy beauty fade ; 
 The night that followed such a morn, 
 
 Had worn a deeper shade. 
 And thou wert lovely to the last 
 Thy day without a cloud hath past, 
 
 Extinguished not decayed ; 
 As stars, that shoot along the sky. 
 
 Shine brightest, when they fall from high.' 1
 
 236 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 The same individual who was a highly nice person for 
 making apt pieces of metre out of his head has, in the hand- 
 somest manner, volunteered his services for the moon, at the 
 close of the following passage : 
 
 ' I DO remember me, that on a night like this, 
 I stood beneath the Coliseum's wall 
 Mid the chief relics of almighty Rome : 
 The trees that grew along the broken arches, 
 Waved dark in the blue midnight, and the start 
 Shone through Hie rents of ruin: from afar 
 The watch-dog bay'd beyond the Tiber, and more near, 
 From out the Caesar's palace, came the owl's long cry, 
 And interruptedly of distant sentinels the fitful song, 
 Begun and died upon the gentle wind. 
 And thou didst shine, thou rolling moon! upon all this 
 And cast a wide and tender light, which softened down 
 The hoar austerity of rugged desolation, 
 Leaving that beautiful which still was so, 
 And making that which was not, till the place 
 Became religion, and the heart ran o'er 
 In silent worship.' 
 
 ONE cannot write, by any possibility, with a sense of pleasure, 
 when his subject brings too many things to his recollection, and 1 
 pours remembrance full upon the eye. I love to go back to the 
 moon-light eves of other years ; and I do confess, that the shim- 
 mer of a star over a city chimney ; the rustle of vines in its garden 
 walks ; or the soft hum of a summer shower at night, tinkling on 
 a thousand shadowy roofs around, and gurgling down the con- 
 duits of the eaves those regular eaves-droppers can awaken 
 in me a multitude of pleasant thoughts, which lie too deep for 
 tears. Unanswered aspirations come before me with their solem- 
 nities, and I hold a deeper communion with my MAKER. Some 
 soft instrument of music, touched by a fair hand, in the nocturnal 
 hours, adds to the quietude, and I thank that Spirit for its spell, 
 in hurried numbers : 
 
 WHEN the worn heart its early dream 
 
 In darkness and in vain pursues, 
 How shall the visionary gleam 
 
 Of joy o'er life its charm diffuse ? 
 How shall the glowing thought aspire, 
 
 The cheek with passion's flush be warm, 
 Or the dim eyes resume their fire, 
 
 Their sunshine, victory of the storm ? 
 
 Ah, who can tell ? Not thou, whose words 
 Are lightest, liveliest of the throng; 
 
 Whose carol, like the summer bird's, 
 Pours out the winning soul of song;
 
 ' OLLAPODIANA. 237 
 
 Not thou, whose calm and shining brow, 
 
 The sadness of thy strain belies ; 
 Whose spirits, like thy music, flow, 
 
 Won from the founts of Paradise ! 
 
 BY-THE-BY, the first individual from whom I ever heard an 
 amatory effusion, was an immense arrangement of flesh and 
 blood a milliner, from Yorkshire, in England. She had come 
 from home, with her large fat face, with all the bloom on, and 
 with big watery eyes. How she would flatter herself that she 
 was enchanting the students, as, in quizzing convocations, they 
 invited her at green-horn parties, (after a turn at Blind Man's 
 Buff, or some such highly intellectual game,) to sing * Oh 'tis 
 Love 'tis Love!' Her stupendous chest seemed to expand 
 with the tender passion ; and oh ears, that were searched with 
 the volume of her notes, attest the fact how she tortured the 
 attentive tympanum ! In form, as I have said, she was immense; 
 a John Reeve in petticoats, and not unlike that most fantastic 
 Cupid. Gentle Giantess ! Many years have passed, since she 
 chaunted to those roystering ' Academy boys !' If she yet live, 
 she might say ' Here /' to Elia's description of her whilome Ox- 
 ford counterpart: 'There may be her parallel upon the earth, but 
 surely I never saw it. I take her to be lineally descended from 
 the maid's aunt of Brainford, who caused Master Ford such un- 
 easiness. She hath Atlantean shoulders ; and, as she stoopeth 
 in her gait with as few offences to answer for in her own par- 
 ticular as any of Eve's daughters her back seems broad enough 
 to bear the blame of all the peccadillos that have been committed 
 since Adam. She girdeth her waist, or what she is pleased to 
 esteem as such, nearly up to her shoulders, from beneath which, 
 that huge dorsal expanse, in mountainous declivity, emergeth. 
 Respect for her alone preventeth the idle boys, who follow her 
 about in shoals, whenever she cometh abroad, from getting up and 
 riding. But her presence infallibly commands a reverence. She 
 is indeed, as the Americans would express it, something awful. 
 Her person is a burthen to herself, no less than the ground which 
 bears her. To her mighty bone, she hath a pinguitude withal, 
 which makes the depth of winter to her the most desirable season. 
 Her distress in the warmer solstice is pitiable. During the 
 months of July and August, she usually renteth a cool cellar, 
 where ices are kept, whereinto she descendeth when Sirius rageth. 
 She dates from a hot Thursday some twenty-five years ago. 
 Her apartment in summer is pervious to the four winds. Two 
 doors in north and south direction, and two windows fronting the 
 rising and the setting sun, never closed, from every cardinal point
 
 238 OLLAPODlAftA. 
 
 catch the contributory breezes. She loves to enjoy what she calls 
 a quadruple draught. That must be a shrewd zephyr, that can 
 escape her. I owe a painful face-ache, which oppresses me at 
 this moment, to a cold caught, sitting by her, one day in last July, 
 at this receipt of coolness. Her fan, in ordinary, resembleth a 
 banner spread, which she keepeth continually on the alert to de- 
 tect the least breeze. She possesseth an active and gadding 
 mind, totally incommensurate with her person. No one delight- 
 eth more than herself in country exercises and pastimes. I have 
 passed many an agreeable holiday with her in her favorite park at 
 Woodstock. She performs her part in these delightful ambula- 
 tory excursions by the aid of a portable garden chair. She set- 
 teth out with you at a fair foot gallop, which she keepeth up till 
 you are both well breathed, and then she reposeth for a few 
 seconds. Then she is up again for a hundred paces or so, and 
 again resteth ; her movement, on these sprightly occasions, being 
 something between walking and flying. Her great weight seem- 
 eth to propel her forward, ostrich-fashion. In this kind of relieved 
 marching, I have traversed with her many scores of acres on those 
 well-wooded and well-watered domains. Her delight at Oxford 
 is in the public walks and gardens, where, when the weather is 
 not too oppressive, she passeth much of her valuable time. 
 There is a bench at Maudlin, or rather, situated between the 
 frontiers of that and Christ's college ; some litigation, latterly, 
 about repairs, has vested the property of it finally in Christ's ; 
 where at the hour of noon she is ordinarily to be found sitting, 
 so she calls it by courtesy, but in fact, pressing and breaking of 
 k down with her enormous settlement ; as both of those founda- 
 tions, who, however, are good-natured enough to wink at it, have 
 found, I believe, to their cost. Here she taketh the fresh air, 
 principally at vacation times, when the walks are freest from in- 
 terruption of the younger fry of students. Here she passeth her 
 idle hpurs, not idly, but generally accompanied with a book ; 
 blest if she can but intercept some resident Fellow, (as usually 
 there are some of that brood left behind at these periods,) or stray 
 Master of Arts, (to most of whom she is better known than their 
 dinner bell,) with whom she may confer upon any curious topic 
 of literature. 
 
 YET the burden of love and song, after all, hallows every thing 
 it bends withal. Poetry is your true dignifier of the work-day 
 world. In amber, your fly may go down balmy to other ages, 
 that without that sweet consistence for an overcoat, shall smell to 
 heaven from the shambles, -or be passed with a buzz of contempt
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 239 
 
 by surviving friends of his race, of either gender, as they disport 
 themselves, in impassioned union, on a warm summer pane. 
 Even servitude may thus be embellished by song, and the hum- 
 blest stations win the highest flights. Here followeth a strain to 
 a waiter's memory, well known to the denizens of Brotherly 
 Love, in other hours but now laid i' the earth, with all odors 
 and honor. Some lines therein shall be seen italicized. 'Tis a 
 work of mine, for which I crave the pardon of the friend from 
 whose rare harp the numbers come : 
 
 ODE TO BOGLE. 
 
 DEDICATED, WITH PERMISSION, AND A PIECE OF MINT-STICK, TO META B , 
 
 AGED FOUR YEARS. 
 
 ' Restituit rem cunctando.' EUN. AP. CICERO. 
 ' Of Brownis and of Bogilis ful is this buke.' GAWIK DOUGLAS. 
 
 BOGLE ! not he whose shadow flies 
 Before a frighted Scotchman's eyes, 
 But thou of Eighth near Sansom thou 
 Colorless color'd man, whose brow 
 Unmoved the joys of life surveys, 
 Untouched the gloom of death displays ; 
 Reckless if joy or grief prevail, 
 Stern, multifarious BOGLE, hail ! 
 
 Hail may'st thou Bogle,' for thy reign 
 Extends o'er nature's wide domain, 
 Begins before our earliest breath, 
 Nor ceases with the hour of death : 
 Scarce seems the blushing maiden wed, 
 Unless thy care the supper spread ; 
 Half christened only were that boy, 
 Whose heathen squalls our ears annoy, 
 If, supper finished, cakes and wine 
 Were given by any hand but thine ; 
 And Christian burial e'en were scant, 
 Unless his aid the Bogle grant. 
 Lover of pomps ! the dead might rise, 
 And feast upon himself his eyes, 
 When marshalling the black array, 
 Thou ruVst the sadness of the day ; 
 Teaching how grief should be genteel, 
 And legatees should seem to feel. 
 Death's seneschal ! 'tis thine to trace 
 For each his proper look and place, 
 How aunts should weep, where uncles stand, 
 With hostile cousins, hand in hand, 
 Give matchless gloves, and fitly shape 
 By length of face the length of crape. 
 See him erect, with lofty tread, 
 The dark scarf streaming from his head, 
 Lead forth his groups in order meet,
 
 240 OLI.AI'OPI AN A. 
 
 And range them, grief-wise in the street ; 
 Presiding o'er the solemn show, 
 The very Chesterfield of wo. 
 Evil to him should bear the pall, 
 Yet comes two late or not at all ; 
 Wo to the mourner who shall stray 
 One inch beyond the trim array ; 
 Still worse, the kinsman who shall move, 
 Until thy signal voice approve. 
 
 Let widows, anxious to fulfil, 
 
 (For the first time,) the dear man's will, 
 
 Lovers and lawyers ill at ease, 
 
 For bliss deferr'd, or loss of fees, 
 
 Or heirs impatient of delay, 
 
 Chafe inly at his formal stay ; 
 
 The Bogle heeds not ; firm and true, 
 
 Resolved to give the dead his due, 
 
 No jot of honor will he bate, 
 
 Nor stir towards the church-yard gate, 
 
 Till the last parson is at hand, 
 
 And every hat has got its band. 
 
 Before his stride the town gives way 
 
 Beggars and belles confess his sway ; 
 
 Drays, prudes, and sweeps, a startled mass, 
 
 Rein up to let his cortege pass, 
 
 And Death himself, that ceaseless dun, 
 
 Who waits on all, yet waits for none, 
 
 Rebuked beneath his haughty tone, 
 
 Scarce dares to call his life his own. 
 
 Nor less, stupendous man ! thy power, 
 In festal than in funeral hour, 
 When gas and beauty's blended rays 
 Set hearts and ball-rooms in a blaze ; 
 Or spermaceti's light reveals 
 More ' inward bruises' than it heals ; 
 In flames each belle her victim kills, 
 And 'sparks fly upward 1 in quadrilles, 
 Like iceberg in an Indian clime, 
 Refreshing Bogle breathes sublime, 
 Cool airs upon that sultry stream, 
 From Roman punch or frosted cream 
 
 So, sadly social, when we flee 
 From milky talk and watery tea, 
 To dance by inches in that strait 
 Betwixt a side-board and a grate, 
 With rug uplift, and blower tight, 
 'Gainst that foul fire-fiend, anthracite, 
 Then Bogle o'er the weary hours 
 A world of sweets incessant showers, 
 Till, blest relief from noise and foam, 
 The farewell pound-cake warns us home 
 Wide opes the crowd to let thee pass, 
 And hail the music of thy glass.
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 241 
 
 Drowning all other sounds, e'en those 
 
 From Bollman or Sigoigne that rose ; 
 
 From Chapman's self some eye will stray 
 
 To rival charms upon thy tray, 
 
 Which thou dispenses! with an air, 
 
 As life or death depended there. 
 
 Wo for the luckless wretch, whose back 
 
 Has stood against a window crack, 
 
 And then impartial, cool'st in turn 
 
 The youth whom love and Lehigh burn. 
 
 On Johnson's smooth and placid mien 
 
 A quaint and fitful smile is seen ; 
 
 O'er Shepherd's pale romantic face, 
 
 A radiant simper we may trace; 
 
 But on the Bogle's steadfast cheek, 
 
 Lugubrious thoughts their presence speak. 
 
 His very smile, serenely stern. 
 
 As lighted lachrymary urn. 
 
 In church or state, in bower and hall, 
 
 He gives with equal face to all: 
 
 The' wedding cake, the funeral crape, 
 
 The mourning glove, the festal grape ; 
 
 In the same tone when crowd's disperse, 
 
 Calls PmcelVs hack, or Carter's hearse ; 
 
 As gently grave, as sadly grim, 
 
 At ilie quick waltz as funeral hymn. 
 
 Thou social Fabius ! since the day, 
 When Rome was saved by wise delay, 
 None else has found the happy chance, 
 By always waiting, to advance. 
 Let time and tide, coquettes so rude, 
 Pass on, yet hope to be pursued, 
 Thy gentler nature waits on all ; 
 When parties rage, on thee tiny call, 
 Who seek no office iii the stale, 
 'Content, while others push, 10 wait. 
 
 Yet, (not till Providence bestowed 
 On Adam's sons McAdam's road,) 
 Unstumbling foot was rarely given 
 To man tior beast when quickly driven ; 
 And they do say, but this I doubt, 
 For seldom he lets things leak out, 
 They do say, ere the dances close, 
 His too are ' light fantastic toes ;' 
 Oh, if this be so, Bogle ! then 
 How are we served by serving men ! 
 A waiter by his weight forsaken ! 
 An undertaker overtaken! 
 
 L'ENVOI. 
 
 META ! thy riper years may know 
 More of this world's fantastic show ; 
 In thy time, as in mine, shaJJ be, 
 16
 
 242 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 Burials and pound-cake, beaux and tea ; 
 Rooms shall be hot, and ices cold ; 
 And flirts be both, as 't was of old ; 
 Love, too, and mint-stick shall be made, 
 \ , Some dearly bought, some lightly weighed ; 
 As true the hearts, the forms as fair, 
 And equal joy and grace be there, 
 The smile as bright, as soft the ogle, 
 But never never such a Bogle ! 
 
 ONE word in your ear, reader, before we part. The writer 
 of the foregoing is a * Monster.' If you would see his like, (in 
 some men's opinion,) consult Homer, Milton, and Dante, passim. 
 You shall not find, in all their pages, a monster of more note, or 
 one that less deserves the name. He is a summer's morning 
 monster, and wears the brighter as the calmness of the mid-day 
 hours plays full upon him. I have given you a clue resolve 
 me my .Riddle. 
 
 Totally thine, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER TWENTY. THREE. 
 
 May, 1838. 
 
 IT is no long time, respected Reader, since we communed to- 
 gether. Yet how many matters have happened since that period, 
 which should give us pause, and solemn meditation ! We are 
 still extant ; the beams of our spirit still shine from our eyes ; 
 yet there are many who, since last my sentences came to yours, 
 have drooped their lids for ever upon things of earth. Number- 
 less ties have been severed ; numberless hearts rest from their 
 pantings, and sleep, ' no more to fold the robe o'er secret pain.' 
 All the deceits, the masks of life, are ended with them. Policy 
 no more bids them to kindle the eye with deceitful lustre ; no 
 more prompts to semblance, which feeling condemns. They are 
 gone ! ' ashes to ashes, and dust to dust ;' and when I think of 
 the numbers who thus pass away, I am pained within me ; for I 
 know from them that our life is not only as a dream which pass- 
 eth away, but that the garniture, or the carnival of it, is indeed a 
 vapor, sun-gilt for a moment, then colored with the dun hues of 
 death, or stretching its dim folds afar, until their remotest outlines 
 catch the imperishable glory of eternity. Such is life ; made up 
 of successful or succeasless accidents ; its movers and actors, 
 from the cradle to tbree-score-and-ten, pushed about by Fate
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 243 
 
 not their own ; aspiring but impotent ; impelled as by visions, 
 and rapt in a dream which who can dispel ? 
 
 To THOSE who take every event in their lives as a matter of 
 ' special providence ;' who make a shop-keeper and supercargo 
 of Omnipotence ; who refer to celestial interposition the recovery 
 of a debt, the acknowledgment of a larceny, or the profits on a 
 box of candles, or a bundle of ten-penny nails ; who perceive 
 something more than a special providence in the death of a spar- 
 row, or the fall of a brick-bat, sent from vagrant hand ; to those, 
 all argument of reason would be useless, even if they who em- 
 ployed it were warm and sincere, as I know / am, in a belief of 
 the general watchfulness of my Creator over men's wo and weal. 
 But, as in things that are of the earth earthy, there is but a step 
 from the sublime to the ridiculous, as was said by the great cap- 
 tain of his age, so it appears to me is it with things celestial. It 
 seems impossible for the human intellect to appreciate that trifling 
 ubiquity of supervision which some credulous persons, more de- 
 vout than intelligent, impute to the supervision of the Almighty. 
 That God is everywhere, admits of no dispute ; but when we 
 ramify his discernments into the scrutiny of those minutest mat- 
 ters which would scarcely attract for a moment the observation 
 even of low-minded men, we create an anomaly which has, in 
 proportion to its indifference, an aspect of frivolity, and an atti- 
 tude of common-place. It seems to establish or defend that 
 theory, which pronounces that whatever is, is right. This is a 
 phrase of POPE^S, which in my humble opinion contains much 
 more poetry than philosophy. To maintain that all which is, is 
 right, does away, in my poor sense, with all true appreciation of 
 rectitude and wrong. It nullifies the Decalogue. If the postu- 
 late be true, why the tablets of the law, or that divine mountainous 
 sermon ? What need of statues, or the jury of a man's peers? 
 Why arraign a man who abstrac'ts the horse from his staKe, with- 
 out a ' by y'r leave' from the owner, or seduces a raci from the 
 pasture, without clover or salt ? Why should pen^entiaries be 
 filled ? Why Auburn'or Sing-Sing hear the groans of the priso- 
 ners ? If all that is, is right, these prisoners hVe but done their 
 duty ; counterfeiting is but a pastime, though fruitful ; perjury is 
 a species of verbal romance, sanctified by a iss on calf or sheep- 
 skin ; larceny and burglary, the acts of trief visitors who make 
 strong attachments ; and even murder itself, a modification of the 
 code d'honneur a kind of 'popping the question' in the great 
 matter of the future ; sometimes put with lead to the aorta, or with 
 steel to the jugular.
 
 244 OLLA PODIANA. 
 
 BUT while I impugn the philosophy of Pope, in the phrase 
 hereinbefore mentioned, let me not arraign his verse, or cast one 
 doubtful shade upon the brightness of his thoughts, or the sweet 
 harmony of his numbers. How often have their cadences satis- 
 fied my ear, and enriched my mind ! In his Eloise, the actual, 
 solemn swell of the music which distracted the nun betwixt the 
 choice of Earth or Heaven, seems pouring from the strain. He 
 brings to my mind those sunny seasons when my sense of har- 
 mony, though less acute, was perhaps more rapturous, than now; 
 when the rustle of leaves, the casual trills of summer birds, the 
 chiming dance of waters, and the zephyrs, floating from the frag- 
 rant south or balmy west, seemed to breathe of the concords, and 
 herald the dulcet airs, of Paradise. Sometimes, in the jostling 
 din and bustle of active life, I lose these harmonies for a little 
 season, and I feel oppressed with the spirit of discontent and 
 complaining ; and could say within me, as do the Hebrews in 
 their service of the morning of the ninth of Ab, lamenting the 
 sweet bells lost from the priestly robes of Israel ; the lost language 
 of seers and poets, the ephod, and the memorials, ' The voice 
 of wailing hath passed over my melodious psalteries ; wo is me !' 
 
 Is there any poetry equal in severe simplicity, and quiet 
 natural beauty, to that of the Hebrews of Israel ? I confess that 
 I think not. In his inspired wanderings, I can conceive that 
 Shakspeare walked as it were arm-in-arm with Moses and the 
 prophets ; with that complaining man of Uz, who held colloquies 
 with the Almighty, in whirlwind and storm. In truth, as I have 
 pored over some of the beautiful inspirations of the Dispersed of 
 modern days, they come to my spirit like ' the airs of Palestine.' 
 Indeed, I have had great doubts, whenas I have overlooked the 
 p'^es which have been lent me by a Rabbi of the Synagogue, 
 written on one page with mysterious characters, and on the other 
 with t>*3 pure English -version of those venerated Scriptures, 
 whether tV^ renderings of Y ARC HI and LEESER, and others, were 
 not more b'^utiful than those which have given to us the Word, 
 from the sovereign command of the First James of England. 
 Let us list the Knowing, as read in the Fast of the ninth of Ab. 
 The lot of the JL^d's inheritance is Jacob. He encircled him, 
 and he watched hin\and he guarded him as the apple of his eye. 
 As an eagle stirrcth\n her nest, jluttereth her young, sprcadeth 
 abroad her wing, taketK them, bearcth them aloft on her pinions, 
 so the Lord did lead him.' And how eloquently do they com- 
 plain ! ' Where,' they ask> in their deep and briefest language, 
 * where is the residence of the Divine Glory? the house of the
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 245 
 
 Levitic order, and their desk ? Where the glory of the feithful 
 city? Where are the chiefs of thy schools, and where thy judges? 
 Who arrange the answers to them ? who ask concerning thy 
 mysteries? Where are they who walk in the paths of truth, en- 
 lightened by the brightness of thy shining T 
 
 There is something extremely touching to me in these Israel- 
 itish lamentations. They were wailed con amore, arid by the 
 card. I truly believe, that all the sackcloth poetry of modern 
 time, put together, would give a mere dividend of the great capi- 
 tal of dolor employed by the olden-time Hebrews. They wept 
 and howled copiously, yea, abundantly. There is something, 
 after all, sacred in sorrow. It has a dignity, which joy never 
 possesses. The sufferings of Medea in Euripides ; the scenes 
 betwixt Andromache and Hector ; the pangs of Virginius ; these 
 are remembered, and will be, when the glittering treasures of 
 Croesus at Delphi shall be forgotten, and the gay measures of 
 Gyges be lost to men. Here is a strain in this kind ; one that 
 was spent at the close of a summer day, some year or so agone. 
 It needs a little preliminary blazon. 
 
 You must know, reader, that there lieth, some three miles or 
 so from Brotherly Love a city of this continent, a delectable 
 city a place of burial, 'Laurel Hill' by name. On a sweeter 
 spot, the great sun never threw the day-spring of the morning, 
 nor the blush of the evening West. There the odors and colors 
 of nature profusely repose ; there, to rest of a spring or summer 
 afternoon, on some rural seat, looking at trees, and dancing 
 waters, and the like, you would wonder at that curious question 
 addressed of Dean Swift, on his death-bed, to a friend at his side : 
 ' Did you ever know of any really good weather in this world ?* 
 You would take the affirmative. Well, thus I sang : 
 
 HERE the lamented dead in dust shall lie, 
 
 Life's lingering languors o'er its labors done ; 
 
 Where waving boughs, betwixt the earth and sky, 
 Admit the farewell radiance of the sun. 
 
 Here the long concourse from the murmuring town, 
 
 With funeral pace and slow, shall enter in ; 
 To lay the loved in tranquil silence down, 
 
 No more to suffer, and no more to sin. 
 
 And here the impressive stone, engraved with words 
 Which Grief sententious gives to marble pale, 
 
 Shall teach the heart, while waters, leaves, and birds 
 Make cheerful muoio in the passing gale.
 
 246 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 . Say, wherefore should we weep, and wherefore pour 
 
 On scented airs the unavailing sigh 
 While sun-bright waves are quivering to the shore, 
 And landscapes blooming that the loved should die? 
 
 There is an emblem in this peaceful scene : 
 
 Soon, rainbow colors on the woods will fall ; 
 And autumn gusts bereave the hills of green, 
 
 As sinks the year to meet its cloudy pall. 
 
 Then, cold and pale, in distant vistas round, 
 Disrobed and tuneless, all the woods will stand; 
 
 While the chained streams are silent as the ground, 
 As Death had numbed them with his icy hand. 
 
 Yet, when the warm soft winds shall rise in spring, 
 Like struggling day-beams o'er a blasted heath, 
 
 The bird returned shall poise her golden wing, 
 And liberal nature break the spell of death. 
 
 So, when the tomb's dull silence finds an end, 
 The blessed Dead to endless youth shall rise ; 
 
 And hear the archangel's thrilling summons blend 
 Its tones with anthems from the upper skies. 
 . 
 
 There shall the good of earth be found at last, 
 Where dazzling streams and vernal fields expand ; 
 
 Where Love her crown attains her trials past- 
 And, filled with rapture, hails the better land ! 
 
 Thus I strummed the old harpsichord, from which I have 
 aforetime, at drowsy hours and midnight intervals, extracted a 
 few accidental numbers, (more pleasant doubtless to beget than 
 read,) ' sleepless myself, to give to others sleep !' 
 
 WELL, that is the only way to write without fatigue, both to 
 author and reader. In all that pertains to the petty businesses 
 which bow us to the routine of this work-day world, I am as it 
 were at home. I am distinctly a mover in the great tide of Ac- 
 tion sweeping on around me ; yet when I enter into the sanc- 
 tuary of the Muses, lo ! at one wave of the spiritual wand, this 
 * dim and ignorant present' disappears. I breathe a rarer atmo- 
 sphere. Visions of childhood throng upon my soul ; the blue 
 mountain-tops ; the aerial circles of far-off landscapes ; the hazy 
 horizon of ocean-waters ; the wind-tossed verdure of summer ; 
 the hills that burst into singing ; and the sweet harmonies of na- 
 ture Universal Parent! all appeal to my spirit. This dis- 
 memberment of the ideal from the actual, is a fountain of enjoy- 
 ment, which whoso knows not, has yet the brightest lessons of 
 life to learn. He has yet to enter that fairy dominion which 
 seems the intermediate territory betwixt the airy realms conceived
 
 OLLAPODIANA, 247 
 
 of in this world, and the more radiant glories of that undiscovered 
 country, 
 
 ' from whose bourne 
 
 No traveller returns.' 
 
 There is something in the feeling, beyond the impulses of 
 fame, beyond the ' mouth honor, breath,' which the falsest of the 
 world are the most ready to bestow ; something beyond the empty 
 plaudits, the spurious honors, of the multitude, given to-day, 
 withheld to-morrow. Anathemas a moment gone, benedictions 
 now, these are the marks and signals of the multitude. I would 
 not seek their favor, for their disapproval is the same in the end. 
 It is a curious truth, that no man realizes fame, until he is beyond 
 it ; that the tardy honors which men receive from kingly or from 
 republican powers, generally come too late to be appreciated 
 or rather, too late to be of value. 
 
 YET there is something exceedingly solemn in the mutability 
 of a name. 'T is indeed as a vapor, .which appeareth but for a 
 little season, and then vanisheth away. I like not this life-after- 
 death repute, this post-mortem vitality. ' Give it to me, if I de- 
 serve it, while the breath of existence sports in my nostrils ; 
 while I can walk, and hear and see, and jostle among men !' 
 Such are my aspirations, malgre the littleness of it. To have an- 
 tiquaries puzzling themselves with one's merits, supposing that 
 they might reach beyond his sepulture, is to my mind a dry and 
 arid prospect. One wants to be quiet. ' To subsist in bones,' 
 saith my old friend, Sir Thomas Browne, ' and to be but pyra- 
 midally extant, is a fallacy in duration. Vain ashes, which in 
 the oblivion of Names, Persons, Times, and Sexes, have found 
 unto themselves a fruitless continuation, and only arise unto late 
 posterity, as emblems of mortal vanities, antidotes of pride. Ob- 
 livion blindly scattereth her poppy, and deals with the memory 
 of men, without distinction to merit of perpetuity. Who can but 
 pity the founder of the pyramids ? Herostratus lives that burnt 
 the temple of Diana ; he is almost lost that built it. Time hath 
 spared the epitaph of Adrian's horse confounded that of him" 
 self. In vain we compute our felicities by the advantage of our 
 good names, since bad have equal durations ; and Thersites is 
 is like to live as long as Agamemnon, without the favor of the 
 Everlasting Register. The Canaanitish woman lives more hap- 
 pily without a name, than Herodius with one ; and who had not 
 rather have been the good thief than Pilate? Who knows 
 whether the best of men be known ? Or whether there be not 
 more remarkable persons forgot, than any that stand remembered 
 in the known accompt of time ?' These be puzzling queries.
 
 248 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 IN our own country, methinks I can depaint the means and 
 methods of posthumous fame. Here, if one who had attained to 
 some eminence in his life-time, could awake fifty years after he 
 had been quietly inurned, and be permitted to read the newspa- 
 pers, he might find that a steamer of his name had burst her 
 boiler ; ' a terrible accident, with loss of lives,' on river Missis- 
 sippi or Ohio ; or mayhap that a horse, commemorating his cog- 
 nomen, had been beaten at the Eagle or other course, with the 
 particulars. Perhaps that he had devoted himself to posterity ; 
 to be cited in other years as the source whence sanguinary mix- 
 tures of renown had sprung; advertised in hand-bills ; and to aid, 
 perhaps, in promoting to the legislature his owner, or guardian, 
 or friend. This is fame, or a part of its mode of bestowment, 
 here below. Fame! a bet-word a paragraph a feuille 
 volante a hand-bill. Thank the powers ! I have precious little 
 thereof. And the most I would have, reader, is to write myself 
 your friend, OLLAPOD. 
 
 NUMBER 
 
 Octobtr, 1839. 
 
 SITTING down, good my reader, to write a few paragraphs, 
 named of the above, I was sorely perplexed as to the number. 'Ol- 
 
 lapodiana :' Number what ? By the mass, I could not tell ; 
 
 the time was so long ; my thoughts and subjects were a broken 
 chain ; I seemed, indeed, to have but just returned from some 
 other land, beyond the influence of days, and hours, and all those 
 vile admeasurements of time, so rigidly observed by such as send 
 Williams (bills, in the vulgate,) for services rendered in artisan 
 line, and by banking institutions. Time seemed to have dissolv- 
 ed all partnership with my vitality, and I was well nigh upon the 
 point of exclaiming upon him, in the tone of honest Diccon, in 
 Gammer Gurton's Needle : 
 
 out upon thee, 
 
 Above all other loutes, fye on ths !' 
 
 But I checked the malediction. 'Out upon Time?' no! 
 Thou reverend softener of human sorrow ; thou who, throned 
 upon the clouds of undiscovered fate, or with thy bright lock and 
 thy insatiate weapon, enrobed in the sunshine of hope, and gay 
 with that golden haze which plays above the distant vale of vernal
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 249 
 
 Expectation ; no ! not out upon thee ! Friend to the wretched, 
 them shouldst be a woman, for men, in the profundity of their 
 blundering, talk of events in thy ' womb ;' Great Unsexed, and 
 yet evermore preserving in the primer thy masculine identity; thy 
 rather disreputable and misplaced queue ; and displaying in thy 
 somewhat ancient physiognomy that desire of getting-ahead, so 
 peculiar to thy respectful fellow-citizens, the American people. 
 They speak of thee with respect, yet they take thee unceremo- 
 niously ' by the forelock,' whether thy yellow hair floats on the 
 eastern mountains, or thou tremblest at the gates of the West. 
 Twin-brother of Eternity ! oh, why so taciturn to human hearts, 
 whose yearning core would thrill with undying rapture, to hear 
 the particulars of the doings and scenes in that vast country, the 
 dim dominion of thy Great Relation ! 
 
 OBSERVE, my friend, I am not writing against time ; so let us 
 slowly on. My impressions of the old gentleman are sometimes 
 extremely fantastic. I was looking, the other day at a playful 
 young cat, just emerging from the fairy time of kittenhood ; some- 
 thing between the revelry of the fine niewer, and the gravity with- 
 out the experience of the tabby. Now one would think that no 
 great subject for contemplation. It would be looked upon by the 
 million as inferior to astronomy. But it is the connexion of the 
 events having reference to the quadruped, which renders her of 
 interest. Time will expand her person, increase her musical 
 powers, and bring her admirers. In her back, on winter even- 
 ings, will sleep a tolerable imitation of the lightnings of heaven. 
 She will make great noise o' nights, and lap at interdicted cream. 
 So much for her exterior her loVe-passages arid obstreperous 
 concerts. But look within ! That compact embodiment of liga- 
 ments and conduits, now treading gingerly over those fading 
 leaves, and grapes of purple, what may they not be hereafter ? 
 Whose hearts may they not thrill, when strung on the sonorous 
 bridge of a cremona, guided to softest utterances by the master 
 hand ? How many memories of youth, and hope, and fond 
 thoughts, and sunny evenings, and bowers by moonlight, radiant 
 with the beams of Cynthia, and warm with the sweet reflex of 
 Beauty ; the heart, touched by the attempered entrail, rosin-en- 
 compassed and bow-bestrid, may bound in age with recollections 
 of departed rapture. And all from what? Smile not at the as- 
 sociation, my friend from Time and cat-gut. 
 
 IT is a pleasure to the bereaved, to think that time, which sad- 
 ly overcometh all things, can alone restore the separated, and
 
 250 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 bring the mutually-loved together. Time, which plants the fur- 
 row, and sows the seed of death, stands to the faithful spirit a 
 messenger of light at that mysterious wicket-gate, from whence 
 we step and enter upon the vast Unknown. Compare with this 
 enlarged, this universe-embracing view, which breaks at once 
 upon the soul, the act of laying down in what to some may seem 
 a sleep of cold obstruction ; and where is the resemblance of the 
 one, or what eye hath heard, or what heart conceived, of the in- 
 finitude of the other : where the blooming immensity of a do- 
 minion, beyond all realms enrolled of earth, spreads brightly to 
 the sight, illumined for ever with the bountiful smile of the Giver 
 of Good. 
 
 Now there are some who do love marvellously to talk about 
 the dainty glories of Spring. One of this sort is my friend DAF- 
 FODILLY. Daf. is a clever individual, with a heart as open as 
 the day to the charities of life. But he turns up his nose at all 
 the seasons, excepting Spring. The sight of an early flower in 
 April makes his head a watering-pot. He is troubled with a 
 kind of green-sickness, and reads Thomson as though his like 
 never was nor could be. He has the ' pink incense' always upon 
 nim. Summer he despises ; and Autumn, to him, is one scene of 
 storm and gloom. Winter he associates with blue noses, crack- 
 ed lips, and the absence of all feeling among men. ' But Spring!' 
 he says, ' that opens the heart, that excites the sympathies of men 
 and hens, and produces glory and goslings !' I verily believe 
 that Daff. would listen with more delight by the side of a green 
 frog-pond, to the swollen covert of its occupants, in spring-time, 
 than to the sweetest opera in the world, 1 know his taste, and I 
 know a glorious book* he has not read. Let me commend unto 
 him this passage therein : ' In all climates, Spring is beautiful. 
 In the South, it is intoxicating, and sets a poet beside himself. 
 The birds begin to sing ; they utter a few rapturous notes, and 
 then wait for an answer in the silent woods. Those green-coated 
 musicians, the frogs, make a holiday in the neighboring marshes. 
 They, too, belong to the orchestra of Nature ; whose vast theatre 
 is again opened, though the doors have been so long bolted with 
 icicles, and the scenery hung with snow and frost, like cobwebs. 
 This is the prelude which announces the rising of the broad 
 green curtain. Already the grass shoots forth. The waters leap 
 with thrilling pulse through the veins of the earth ; the sap 
 through the veins of the plants and trees ; and the blood through 
 
 * Professor LONGFELLOW'S 'Hyperion.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 251 
 
 (the veins of man. What a thrill of delight in spring-time ! What a 
 joy in being and moving ! Men are at work in gardens ; and in 
 the air there is an odor of the fresh earth. The leaf-buds begin to 
 swell and blush. The white blossoms of the cherry hang upon the 
 boughs like snow-flakes ; and ere long, our next-door neighbors 
 will be completely hidden from us by the dense green foliage. 'The 
 May-flowers open their soft blue eyes. Children are let loose in 
 the fields and gardens. They hold buttercups under" each other's 
 chins, to see if they love butter. And the little girls adorn them- 
 selves with chains and curls of dandelions ; pull out the yellow 
 leaves to see if the school-boy loves them, and blow the down from, 
 the leafless stalk, to find out if their mothers want them at home. 
 And at night so cldlidless and so still ! Not a voice of living 
 thing, not a whisper of leaf or waving bough, not a breath of 
 wind, not a sound upon the earth nor in the air ! And over 
 head bends the blue sky, dewy and soft, and radiant with innu- 
 merable stars, like the inverted bell of some blue flower, sprin- 
 kled with golden dust, and breathing fragrance. Or if the heav- 
 ens are overcast, it is no wild storm of wind and rain ; but clouds 
 that melt and fall in showers. One does not wish to sleep ; but 
 lies awake to hear the pleasant sound of the dropping rain.' 
 
 I MUST say, myself, that after we have done with June, the 
 summer mislikes me. The sun becomes impertinent ; his choler 
 increases, untill he is absolutely insufferable, and you fly from his 
 presence. You can hunt small panting birds in the woods, then, 
 if you have the heart, as they sit on the boughs, with their hot 
 mouths open ; and great is the glory thereof. I once damaged 
 the fetlock of a wren in that way, from the end of a rusty musket, 
 which kicked the hunter over ; and sent the entrails of a red 
 squirrel, from the corner of a zig-zag fence, upon the rounda- 
 bout of a traveller, who was journeying westward^ in a stage of 
 the Telegraph line ; my venatory exploits being all within the 
 compass of these. 
 
 As I write, I can appreciate the autumn-feeling something 
 holy and peculiar prevailing within me. I can see, by the in- 
 creasing azure of the sky, by the enlarged clearness of the dis- 
 tant landscapes, when the eye greets them from the city, and by 
 the transparent briskness of the air at evening, that the summer 
 has gone, and the autumn-time begun. The woodlands stand in 
 calm solemnity, robed in that rainbow coloring, the herald of 
 their fallen honors, and the November storm. At such a season, 
 the heart goes back, as on wings of the dove, to departed friends,
 
 252 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 and vanished pleasures ; and the sad hours of memory come up 
 in long review. 
 
 The evening approaches. The clouds arise ; rain-drops nat- 
 ter on the branches ; the winds are loud : the hours pass imper- 
 ceptibly. I will write and rest : 
 
 *T is an autumnal eve the low winds, sighing 
 
 To wet leaves, rustling as they hasten by ; 
 The eddying gusts to tossing boughs replying, 
 
 And ebon darkness filling all the sky ; 
 The moon, pale mistress, palled in solemn vapor, 
 
 The rack, swift-wandering through the void above, 
 As I, a dreamer by my lonely taper, 
 
 Send back to faded hours the plaint of love. 
 
 Blossoms of peace, once in my pathway springing, 
 
 Where have your brightness and your splendor gone ? 
 Aud Thou, whose voice to me came sweet as singing, 
 
 What region holds thee in the vast Unknown ? 
 What star far brighter than the rest contains thee, 
 
 Beloved, departed empress of my heart! 
 What bond of full beatitude enchains thee, 
 
 In realms unveiled by pen, or prophet's art? 
 
 Ah ! loved and lost ! in these autumnal hours, 
 
 When fairy colors deck the painted tree, 
 When the vast woodlands seem a sea of flowers, 
 
 Oh! then my soul exulting bounds to thee ! 
 Springs, as to clasp thee yet in this existence, 
 
 Yet to behold thee at my lonely side : 
 But the fond vision melts at once to distance, 
 
 And my sad heart gives echo she has died ! 
 
 Yes ! when the morning of her years was brightest, 
 
 That Angel-presence into dust went down ; 
 While yet with rosy dreams her rest was lightest, 
 
 Death for the olive wove the cypress crown ; 
 Sleep, which no waking knows, o'ercame her bosom, 
 
 O'ercame her large, bright, spiritual eyes ; 
 Spared in her bower connubial one fair blossom 
 
 Then bore her spirit to the upper skies. 
 
 There let me meet her, when, life's struggles over 
 
 The pure in love and thought their faith renew : 
 Where man's forgiving and redeeming Lover 
 
 Spreads out his paradise to every view. 
 Let the dim Autumn, with its leaves descending, 
 
 Howl on the winter's verge yet Spring will come: 
 So my freed soul, no more 'gainst fate contending, 
 
 With all it loveth, shall regain its home. 
 
 No more, my reader save only I am thine. o.
 
 OLLAFODIANA. 
 
 TWENTY. SIX. 
 
 April, 1840. 
 
 How do you bear yourself, my friend and reader, on the sub- 
 ject of winter generally? What are 'your views?' If you are 
 young and sanguine, with no revulsions or tempests of the heart 
 to remember, I will warrant that you like old Hyem, and patron- 
 ize that most windy individual, Boreas, of that ilk. Well, you 
 have a free right to your opinion, and if you held it two years or 
 less ago, you had the honor to agree with me. But I confess on 
 that point a kind of a warped idiosyncracy ; an unaccountable 
 change of opinion. The truth is, reader, between you and me, 
 there is not much dignity in winter, in a city. When, in the 
 country, you can look out upon the far-off landscapes, the cold 
 blue hills rising afar, and where a snow-bank is really what it is 
 tracked up to be ; where the blast comes sounding to your 
 dwelling over a sweep of woods, and lakes, and snowy fields, for 
 miles of dim extension, there is some grandeur in the thing. But 
 what is it to hear a blast, half choked with the smoke and soot 
 of the city, wheezing down a contemptible chimney-pot, or round 
 a corner, where the wind, that glorious emblem of freedom, has 
 no charter at all to ' blow out' as he pleases, but is confined by 
 the statute of brick-and-mortar restrictions ? 
 
 I BEGIN to affect the softer seasons ; and I look with more 
 than usual earnestness for the coming-on of Spring. I am not 
 universal chronologist enough to know whether the creation be- 
 gan in the spring, but I should suppose it did. If, when ' the 
 morning stars sang together,' there was one out of tune ; one 
 whose role was imperfect ; that belonged rather to the stock 
 company of stars ; that took no part in the concert ; I apprehend 
 it must have been one of those cold winter stars, that glister, and 
 go through you, with their cold and unimpassioned blinking. I 
 do not affect the ' dog star ;' but I must admit that the stars of 
 spring, summer, and of autumn, are my favorites. Those of 
 spring seem to throb with love, and light, and joy, that multi- 
 tudes of flowers are springing, and that unnumbered sighs are 
 breathing, in the world beneath ; as if indeed they knew and rel- 
 ished the fact, that the roses and violets had again appeared on the 
 earth ; that ' the time of the singing of the birds had come, and 
 the voice of the turtle was heard in the land.' True, the sum- 
 mer stars have rather too fervent a glitter ; they look down with 
 a tropical kind of aspect, and induce one to go on the shady 
 side of a street, even at evening, in order to avoid the intense
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 / 
 
 heat of the moonshine. At such hours, one seems to have 
 reached that point, mentioned in nautical phrase, which 1 trans- 
 late for ears polite, where the first settlement beyond purgatory 
 is to be remunerated, and there is no tar to cancel the obligation. 
 As for the autumn stars, they are to be praised in numbers ; not 
 in a series, but in verse, as dazzling and pure as the light they 
 dispense, and the thoughts they awaken. Whoever gazed at 
 them, in their homes of blue infinity, without rapture and grati- 
 tude? 
 
 TALKING of gratitude, reminds me of one of the most extraor- 
 dinary developments of that quality, which I ever remember to 
 have heard of any where. It occurred in a southern city ; where 
 there did live a person, otherwise called an individual, who was 
 considered one of the most parsimonious of all the tribe of Adam. 
 He had gone for nearly fifteen years without the imbuing of his 
 personal top, or apex, with a new hat. He was singularly irras- 
 cible, owing to the fact that he peculiarly answered to the com- 
 prehensive definition of man in general ; he was an irregular di- 
 gestive tube, with the principle of immortality at his top, and 
 pedal grain upon his understanding. Having worn his eter- 
 nal ram-beaver into greasy desuetude, he came to the conclusion 
 to get a new one ; which he did price twelve dollars. It was 
 placed, in glossy youth, upon his hall-table ; the ' old hat,' as he 
 called it only after he had got its successor, was removed, and he 
 sat down to his dinner with all the certainty that the next day he 
 would strike the town with a fresh sensation. He was not often 
 ' on the street ;' for be it known, 
 
 He was a man retired in wealth, 
 
 An ancient man, in feeble health. 
 
 But the fatal sisters with their intolerable shears, clipt his hope 
 in* the bud. A varlet who had watched him all the way from the 
 hatter's to his home a sort of crazy lounger of the place, more 
 knave than fool, though enough of either determined to ' regain 
 his felt, and feel what he regained.' And as the citizen sat at 
 meat, and thinking of the novelty of hat which he should sport on 
 the morrow, it came to pass that the varlet entered, and stole the 
 unhackneyed chapeau from the hall. He left in the place of it, 
 his own miserable head-gear, open at top, and smothered in 
 grease, with the following words on a slip of vvhitey-brown paper, 
 in pencil : 
 
 'MY SUFFERING SIR: 
 
 ' 1 have taken your new hat, but I leave you my eternal gratitude. 
 
 ' Your anonymous friend, ' B. BARLOW. 
 
 P. S. I leave you an open apology for what I have taken, which I wish 
 you to show to a candid world.' ' B. B.'
 
 OLLAPODIANA. 255 
 
 Great was the proprietor of that hat's consternation, (this is 
 rather an obscure, but a very common, mode of transposition,) 
 when he came out after dinner to seek what was lost. ' Con- 
 found him ! curse him !' was his vehement ejaculation. ' Curse 
 his ' gratitude !' What good does that do me? Where is my 
 new hat ?' 
 
 I HAVE read, with a great deal of interest, the extraordinary 
 and quite original proposition, by the favorite writer and pulpit 
 orator of the ' Messiah' congregation,* concerning the progress 
 of music. There are few who do not love the concord of sweet 
 sounds ; if they are, we have assurance, on the highest literary 
 authority, that they are fit for stratagems, and the ' spoils of vic- 
 tory' won thereby. But I launch forth at once upon a strong 
 expression, which I seldom use, when I say, that I rather think 
 that the subsequent theory of my favorite aforesaid is likely to 
 make an immense revolution in the progress of musical science ; 
 namely, music by steam. When we look back to what was done 
 in the musical days of ' Salmagundi,' when a fall of snow, par- 
 liamentary deliberations, and other soft and sleepy transactions, 
 were expressed by appropriate music, we find that the science, 
 like the witness in his box, ' stared into the face of the public 
 with rapid strides.' There was no evading the current melody. 
 
 But this was in the infancy of the science, in our happy land. 
 And I have been thinking it most surprising that this matter has 
 not before been discovered. I have supposed that it must have 
 been owing to the alarming want of taste which has been ascer- 
 tained to exist, by those who are only enabled to remark on 
 this most obstruse and interesting subject, that there are 'two 
 beats in a bar ; two down, and two up.' Indeed, it is a curious 
 thing, this same music. My old friend, Sir Thomas Browne, 
 with all the inquiry of his mind, tells us that he considers the 
 question, ' what songs the syrens sang,' as a decided enigma ; 
 and I believe it has never been accurately ascertained what tune 
 was ' pitched upon,' when the morning stars sang together. But 
 we may venture to indulge the idea that they were all perfect in 
 their parts, from the glittering lasso to the effulgent tenore ; the 
 Bear, the Pleiades, and all. Under the circumstances, and with 
 no opportunity for rehearsal, I am persuaded that the whole con- 
 cert was as well ' got up' as could have been expected in the 
 case, and at so short a notice. 
 
 * Rev. OEVILLE DEWEY ; who suggested, in a secular address, that the whistle 
 of the locomotive might yet give place to a safety-valve that should ' discourse 
 most excellent music.' EDITOH.
 
 256 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 I HAVE turned this subject of steam-music extensively over in 
 my mind, of late ; and I have married myself to the idea, after a 
 very short courtship, that it is a kind of thing that must go on. 
 At the first blush, indeed, it might appear chimerical ; but I ask 
 the skeptic why the steam-whistle of a locomotive should not dis- 
 course in tones more soft and winning ? Why can not a loco- 
 motive ask a cow to leave a railroad track in a politer manner 
 than in that discordant shriek, which excites the animal's indig- 
 nation, and awakens her every sentiment of quadrupedal inde- 
 pendence ? I protest against such conduct. We presume a lo- 
 comotive to buzz, and vapor, and deport itself pragmatically ; but 
 its conversation by the way ought to be chastened into something 
 like propriety ; and please Apollo, I think it will. I once saw 
 an animal of this stamp killed instantly by the crushing transit of 
 a train ; and I thought I saw in the singular turn of her upper 
 lip, as her torn-out heart lay yet palpitating on the rails, a pecu- 
 liar curl of disdain, in her dying moments, at the treatment she 
 had won. I put this down, because I hope 't will be remember- 
 ed as a warning to whistlers in especial, and the great generation 
 of calves unborn. 
 
 ON one of those warm April-like afternoons, with which, in 
 our Philadelphia meridian, the fierce February chose to delight 
 us, as if by contrast, I sat by my open window, which com- 
 mands, through and over pleasant trees, fine glimpses of the 
 country : and 
 
 As the red round sun descended, 
 Mid clouds of crimson light,' 
 
 I began to feel coming upon me the influence of a reverie. For 
 a long time, ^my good friend whom I 'occupy' at present with 
 this matter, I have had my day-dreams sadly broken in upou ; 
 in the few roses I have gathered, T have found the cypress min- 
 gling among their faded leaves ; and a voice, as from the lowly 
 leafiness of an autumnal wilderness, has spoken of the lost and of 
 the past. Why is it, that though the mind may wander, the 
 heart can never forget ? Well could I say with him who sings 
 so well : 
 
 4 THOU unrelenting Past ! 
 
 Strong are the barriers round thy dark domain ; 
 And fetters, sure and fast, 
 
 Hold all that enter thy unbreathing reign. 
 
 4 In thy abysses hide 
 Beauty and excellence unknown ; to thee 
 
 Earth's wonder and her pride 
 Are gathered, as the waters to the sea ."
 
 OLLATODIANA. 257 
 
 And there they rest in dust and cold obstruction! Oh, that 
 * those who walk about in the beauty of the morning, with the 
 greenness of earth around them, and the mysterious vitality which 
 makes the elements in their nostrils, would think of this ; con- 
 sidering truly their coming end ! 
 
 BUT I digress entirely ; being about to say, that this reverie 
 was superinduced by looking at some observations that had been 
 made upon the charming theory of my friend. I thought of the 
 time when such a thing as steam-music should at least equal the 
 common museum-music, if not surpass it, and distance conclu- 
 sively the airs wherewith the goodly puritans of yore were wont 
 to chant the immortal metre of Sternhold and Hopkins. Ima- 
 gination took a wide range and presently I was in a dream. 
 
 And methought in my dream, that I was in the second story 
 parlor of the ' Atlantic and Pacific Hotel, and United States' 
 Half-way House,' on the very top of the Rocky Mountains. 
 This hotel was built of marble, with splendid Corinthian pillars, 
 gracing a portico nearly three hundred feet long. Meseemed I 
 had just arrived there by rail-road, in four hours and a half from 
 Philadelphia, which I remembered, as I left, was on each side 
 of the Schuykill, that being central, as the Thames is in London. 
 We did not stop at Pittsburgh, or any of those immense metro- 
 poles, but whizzed at the rate I have mentioned. My destination 
 was to the city of Memphis, on the shore of the Pacific, where I 
 expected to arrive at two o'clock the next day. 
 
 A considerable village stretched along the mountain, although 
 the place was not in existence three weeks before. After a 
 sumptuous repast, and a beautiful view of the country, east and 
 west, which I may hereafter describe, I took up the village news- 
 paper. It was entitled the ' New-Babylon Observer, and Regis- 
 ter of the World.' The copy I held in my hand bore the date 
 of May the seventeenth, nineteen hundred and forty. It was sent 
 round the place by a rail-car, and was thrown into the dwellings 
 by machinery, conducted by steam. The first paragraphs that 
 struck my eye, were these, amply emblazoned, suddenly to 
 catch the general eye : 
 
 'REPORTED FOR THE NEW-BABYLON OBSERVER. 
 
 TERRIFIC CIRCUMSTANCE 
 
 1 IT becomes our painful but imperative and extraordinary duty, to pro- 
 mulgate the facts of a disaster which reached us to-day, by the mail from 
 Thebes, via the perpendicular railroad. As a party were ascending, with 
 the locomotive playing a lively tune, assisted on the piana-forte by another 
 ^locomotive, that had been hired by Signor GOITINI, preparatory- to his first 
 
 17
 
 268 OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 concert in New-Babylon, some religious persons of the ' United States' Es- 
 tablished Mormon Church,' insisted that the tune, being irreverent, should. 
 be changed. This offensive tune was no less than tin* well known and 
 popular song, (supposed to have been written in England, previous to the 
 subjugation of that place by the Russians,) entitled Proceed it, ye Crip- 
 pled Ones, Babylon's Nigh.' This complimentary course on the part of 
 the locomotive, and the gentlemanly engineer with whom it associates, was 
 hissed by the Mormons, until they were overcome by the encores of the 
 majority. The locomotive was of course embarrassed, but we understand, 
 continued to play. One of the Mormons, enraged beyond measure at thi* 
 circumstance, rushed forward through the door-ways of the train, and wan- 
 tonly turned the stop-cock of ' What's become of Good Old Daniel ?' one- 
 of the slowest tunes of the day. The consequence was, that the train pro- 
 ceeded with the greatest discord, because the latter tune was for the back- 
 track, in descending the mountain. The result was, the cars were thrown 
 off the rails, down a precipice of nearly three hundred feet ; but owing to 
 the exertions of Mr. INCLINATION PLAIN, first engineer, they were got 
 back by his Upward Impulse Screw, which has thus far answered admira- 
 bly, stopping cars in mid-air, if they run off a precipice, and returning them' 
 safely, by means of the patent steam wind-bags, which extend beneath the 
 trains, and destroy their gravity. 
 
 We are authorized to state, that no blame attaches to the quick-tune 
 party ; whereas the slow-tune faction were entirely in the wrong. Thus 
 has a science, invented by a monk of the Unitarian order, in the city of 
 AHeghania, (then called New-York,) and which worked its way into so 
 much respect and favor, been the cause of danger, by the pertinacity of a 
 few. We trust it will not occur again ; if it do, we shall proclaim it to the 
 tune of the Rogue's March, through the whole of New-Babylon, in our 
 Steam-car Extra. No doubt our dastardly contemporary, of the ' War- 
 horse of Freedom and America's Champion,' whose prospectus and types 
 arrived last night, and whose first number appears to-morrow, will endeavor 
 to contradict this statement. We dare him to his teeth to do so. He 
 knows, while the snaky blood writhes at his caitiff heart, and the malignity 
 of twenty-three demons, (we think we should be justified in mentioning 
 more,) glares from his diabolic eye, that what we state is fact ; and that 
 each member of the quick-tune party, in asserting his inalienable musical 
 rights, was as innocent as an unbegotten merino.' 
 
 READER, the record of my reverie is not ended, but my sheet 
 is full. If I live and prosper, we will meet again. Heaven bless 
 you, and all the children ! Ever thine, 
 
 OLLAPOD. 
 
 THE BND OF OLLAPODIANA. 
 
 -OV!
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES.
 
 -::' ..; 
 
 . ... - '.-. >i:!!:.o! nf.otisffi/. Wl 
 
 PREFACE 
 
 TO THE 
 
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 IT is proper to remark, in relation to the foregoing ' Ollapodiana' Papers, 
 as well as of the ensuing Prose Miscellanies, that they were all written at 
 such stolen intervals as the sole editor of a daily journal can command from 
 pressing avocations. This fact, it is hoped, will be taken into consideration, 
 in forming an estimate of the writer's powers. If these pages could have 
 been carefully revised and pruned by his own hand, they would doubtless 
 have better deserved the favorable regard of the public. There is another 
 point, touching the accompanying prose papers, on which the Editor would 
 offer a word or two in explanation. It was his purpose to have presented 
 nothing which should have served as a contrast to the uniformly amiable 
 character of his brother's writings. Such a contrast is perhaps however 
 afforded by the article on 'American Poets, and their Critics. 1 But its in- 
 sertion has been advised by several of the oldest and warmest friends of the 
 deceased ; and the Editor has not thought it proper to resist their counsel. 
 The criticism, indeed, as the reader can plainly see, was most justly de- 
 served. It was every where welcomed as a felicitous and timely exposure 
 of an ' inveterate literary pretender.' The New- York American, among 
 many other journals, eulogized the article as ' a capital paper, wherein the 
 impostures of that miserable literary charlatan, the Hibernico-Philadelphia- 
 Reviewer, were most humorously exposed ;' adding, that ' the fact of the 
 Editor of the 'American Quarterly' allowing so absurd a character to figure 
 in that publication, rendered him respectable enough, in a literary point of 
 view, to receive a lashing in the KNICKERBOCKER.' This was the general 
 tone of the American press. It may not be amiss to observe, that the 
 'Leaves from an Aeronaut' record the actual experience of an aerial voya- 
 ger ; Mr. DORAWT, the American pioneer in aerostatics, at the request of 
 the writer, having furnished him with a detailed account of the occurrences 
 of one of his flights into heaven.' The laughable tale of Desperation,' the
 
 262 
 
 PREFACE 
 
 writer was wont to say, describes an actual occurrence in the life of a Phila- 
 delphia student. Captain MARRYAT, some four or five years after the story 
 appeared in the KNICKERBOCKER, adopted it for a London Magazine, merely 
 substituting English for American localities, and slightly changing one or 
 two of the minor incidents. The thrilling events narrated in 'An Old 
 Man's Records' are matters of history. ' The Snake Eater* is almost re- 
 volting in its opening revelations; it is satisfactorily explained however in 
 the conclusion, and is, moreover, founded upon what was stated to the wri- 
 ter to have been an actual occurrence. 
 
 
 
 
 -sb 
 
 fT '. 

 
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES, 
 
 A CHAPTER ON CATS. 
 
 I MET with a good article the other day in a native magazine, 
 >on the subject of whiskers a pilosus and prolific theme. Talk- 
 ing of whiskers reminds me of cats. The transition is natural. 
 Feline quadrupeds are justly celebrated for their claims to admi- 
 ration in respect of whiskers. In the conformation of his mandi- 
 bular appendages, Nature has been generous with the cat. Not 
 only do they stand out from his face like the elongated mus- 
 taches of old Shah Abbas of Persia, but there is within them a 
 sleepless spirit, a shrewd and far reaching sense, which puts to 
 shame the similar ornaments on the faces of bipeds of the genus 
 homo. They, indeed, can make their whiskers look well, by 
 baptizing them with can de Cologne, and Rowland's Macassar 
 Oil, or peradventure, the unctuous matter won from the ' tried 
 reins' of defunct bears ; but where is the intelligence, the dis- 
 cernment, of their rivals ? 
 
 The whiskers of a cat are truly sparse and unseemly ; but 
 their qualities of observation and apprehension furnish an ample 
 recompense for the absence of beauty. How many a heedless 
 rat or truant mouse has paid the forfeit -of his life by those all- 
 ^ scenting properties which are concentrated in the whiskers of a 
 feline hunter ! How have their little ribs cracked between the 
 jaws of some notorious tabby, and their long tails lashed her 
 head in the agonies of dissolution ! This, however is a painful 
 subject, and I perceive that in treating it I am falling into the sen- 
 timental. 
 
 Talking of sentiment, as connected with cats, reminds me of an 
 epoch in my life, over which the shadows of unpleasant fate hang 
 like clouds in an evening firmament, and turn the past into dark- 
 ness. Shall I rend away the veil, as your crack novelist would 
 say, and harrow up my recollections, until my heart swells and my
 
 264 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 head aches with the melancholy retrospection ? Perish the idea ! 
 No no : prepared as I am to go all lengths along the fence 
 which divides me from the dominion of memory, yet when I look 
 at that length, I feel as though I could not go it!' But yes 
 no matter ; the warning of my example may be of service to some 
 reader, who may happen hereafter to be ' situated, and I may 
 say, circumstanced,' as I was. 
 
 I am a respectable young bachelor, with a courteous address, a 
 musical taste, some acquaintance with letters, and a too suscep- 
 tible heart. In choosing my whereabout in this good city of 
 brotherly love, where I arrived a few years ago from the country, 
 to hang out my tin sign of ' Attorney,' etc., I sought for such 
 lodgings as would be convenient to the office, where I wrote my 
 briefs, and took in my clients. Acting on this principle, I made 
 my conge one bright May morning to a landlady in Chestnut 
 street, of whose table and apartments I had heard the best * ex- 
 clamation.' She was a short, pursy woman, with a long neck, a 
 lawn cap on her head, and a most respectful demeanor. The 
 cap was thin, and the gray hair was very perceptible under the- 
 
 same ; but on her forehead were parted two raven waves : 
 
 
 
 * the dowry of some second head, 
 The skull thai bred them in the sepulchre.' 
 
 Pleased with her smile, for it was benevolence itself, I asked her 
 if she could furnish me with a small parlor and bed-room adja- 
 cent ? Her reply showed that her benevolence did not extend' 
 to her native tongue, which she grossly maltreated in divers hos- 
 tile expressions, then and there used on the premises. She re- 
 sponded that the ' parlors was all took, but one in the third story, 
 with a bed-room contagious, for which I would be taxed five dol- 
 lars and three levys a week.' I replied that I did not wish to be 
 taxed with apartments subject to levies ; that the property of which 
 I desired to stand seized as tenant, ought to be unincumbered, 
 and beyond the discomfort of any pecuniary lien or claim. I 
 was soon eased on this point by an affirmation, on the part of the 
 respondent, that a levy was a coin ; corresponding, as 1 afterward 
 learned by some fiscal inquiries, to a New- York shilling. 
 
 A few moments' conversation in the parlor, into which I was 
 invited, finished the business. I took the lodgings, and with 
 pleased alacrity ensconced myself therein. Every thing went on 
 much to my satisfaction. The victuals and drink were praise- 
 worthy, the lodgers few, principally boarding-school misses, be- 
 yond a certain age, learning the then latest music, such as ' The 
 Minstrel's Return from the War,' ' When my Eye,' ' Come where
 
 A CHAPTER ON CATS. 265 
 
 the Aspens quiver,' ' Lightly Tread,' et cetera. With these airs, 
 accompanying themselves on a broken-winded piano, a chattel of 
 the establishment, did they diurnally bore my ears. 
 
 I soon became perfectly domiciliated. The ladies grew more 
 and more communicative ; and it was sadly-pleasing, to see the 
 pensive manner in which they would flirt their fans when we all 
 sat by the windows at nightfall in tlj/e great parlor below, which 
 commanded a broad view of the street. Sometimes on these oc- 
 casions, when in a reverie, I used to hum some familiar air ; and 
 this once led one of the oldest ladies, whose education had just 
 been finished by the greatest instructress in the city, to remark 
 that ' she was sure I could sing lovely, if I should try ; but that 
 she believed I did n't want to let on. 1 I did not at first compre- 
 hend this phraseology of the fair scholar, and it remains until this 
 day with me a mystery undefined. It is understandable, but not 
 explainable. I made an answer to the remark, that was apposite 
 enough not to expose my ignorance of the lady's meaning ; for it 
 is well to stand high in the estimation of those who are com- 
 pleted in ' composition, drawing, geography, and the use of the 
 globes.' 
 
 I did not however bless the parlor with much of my presencei 
 The one which had been assigned me was a perfect gem of an 
 apartment. Everything in it was neat ; and I took no small de- 
 light in hanging it with paintings and pictures. It looked di- 
 rectly into Chestnut-street? our Philadelphia Broadway, and I was 
 wont to sit by the casement in the summer twilight, listening to 
 the negligent footfalls of the promenaders, who strolled abroad on 
 the thousand errands and purposes of business or pleasure. 
 Directly to the east, a door opened into my bed-room, the con- 
 tagious apartment of which rny landlady had spoken. Here the 
 window looked into a garden, the property of the next resident 
 on the street. And a fine garden it was. Flowers of every hue, 
 the first and fairest of the year, were glowing along the walks in 
 red, golden, and purple luxuriance. The verdant and ductile 
 vines gadded over tasteful trellices, and the breath of growing 
 things floated up to my casement like incense. 
 
 Perhaps the reader may desire to know what this has to do 
 with the subjects of cats ? You shall see anon. The facts are 
 extant, and must not remain unwritten. 
 
 I soon found my bed-room contagious, sure enough. I could 
 not study, because of a fair dulcinea across the garden. Even at 
 night we used to look at each other. It was a kind of indistinct, 
 moonshiny speculation, it is true but it had its raptures. 
 
 My inquiries respecting the damsel were of the most satisfac-
 
 266 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 K 
 
 tory kind. Her name was Florence Dillon. She was just seven- 
 teen ; amiable, and accounted rich, but for the latter considera- 
 tion I cared not a rush when connected with her. It was a 
 source of unbounded perplexity to me how I should manage to 
 make her acquaintance. I consorted with few of those young 
 men, wearing bushy whiskers, white inexpressibles, vacant coun- 
 tenances, and small canes, with which Philadelphia abounds ; for 
 I had never fancied their amusements of riding to the Lamb 
 tavern for a julep, fighting dung-hill fowls on the Schuylkill, or 
 playing at faro in the obscure dens and alleys of the town. Be- 
 ing unaccomplished in these fashionable amusements, and withal 
 rather addicted to reading and mental improvement, my asso- 
 ciates were limited, for I found few spirits either choice or con- 
 genial. 
 
 Finally, a lucky chance favored my desires. I saw Miss 
 Florence one evening at the theatre, with her brother. Just at 
 the close of the first play, it came on to rain. I ascertained by 
 accident that the Dillons were without an umbrella. I knew they 
 had a very short distance to go, and therefore would not be likely 
 to call a coach. I immediately rushed home and procured my 
 own umbrella, and one in addition. When I returned, the green 
 curtain had dropped, and they were in the lobby, on the point of 
 departure. The shower was then at its height. It was one of 
 those nights when play-bill boards are dripping; when pedestrians, 
 swift in locomotion, are seen in long perspective along the streets, 
 with their umbrellas shining in the lamp-light ; a doleful night, 
 especially at the theatre, 
 
 4 When tender Beauty, looking for her coach, 
 Protrudes her gloveless hand, perceives the shower, 
 And draws the tippet closer round her throat : 
 Perchance her coach stands half a dozen off, 
 And ere she mounts the step, the oozing mud 
 Soaks through her pale kid slipper. On the morrow 
 She coughs at breakfast, and her gruff papa 
 Cries, 'There you go ! this comes of play-houses ." 
 
 Determined to be gallant, yet coloring a little at my boldness, I 
 took the liberty of offering my umbrella to the gentleman, giving 
 him at the same time some information respecting its necessity 
 on account of the weather. My impression is that my manner 
 was agreeable, for Miss Dillon surveyed me with a very affec- 
 tionate recognition ; and her soft blue eyes, shaded by rich brown 
 hair, parted on her beaming brow, were filled with what Thom- 
 son would call ' lively gratitude.' 
 
 I called the next evening at Dillon's, per promise, for my um- 
 brella. I found the family most agreeable. The mother was
 
 A CHAPTER ON CATS. 267 
 
 delighted to hear me praise her favorite minister, after I found 
 out who he was ; and the father was what is now-a-days called 
 ' a gentleman of the old school ;' namely, one whose education 
 has been wofully neglected, but whose assaults upon the venacu- 
 lar are overlooked on account of his good nature, good dinners, 
 and good wine. 
 
 Thenceforth I was a faithful visitor two or three times a week. 
 I grew desperately enamored my passion was returned : I was 
 a happy youth ; I walked among the stars. I bent my soul to 
 distinction in my calling, and resolved to merit my mistress be- 
 fore I won her, or to amass, in the words of Diggory's adviser in 
 the play, ' summat to make the matrimonial pot boil.' 
 
 The charming Florence was amiability itself. I found her af- 
 fections were so exuberant, that she bestowed them upon every- 
 thing within the magic circle of her presence even upon ani- 
 mals. Among the objects of her esteem was a cat ; a beautiful, 
 tortoise-shell creature, I confess, but deserving the objection 
 which the housemaid preferred against her, of having ' never had 
 no broughtage up.' She had been Miss Dillon's companion 
 from her childish years, and had grown to graceful and dignified 
 maturity under her fostering hand. I will not deny that I re- 
 spected the old tabby for her sake. We used to discuss her 
 merits often. I little thought the venerable quadruped would 
 blight my hopes, and precipitate all my wo. 
 
 Florence and myself were soon accounted engaged. We used 
 to walk arm in arm in the street, to let the gossips know that such 
 was the fact. I plunged like a gladiator into the law ; I was a 
 favorite at court ; and my causes and fees, in hand and in pros- 
 pect, were neither few nor small. 
 
 I am subject, in summer, to restlessness. Thick-coming fan- 
 cies mar my rest, and my ear is peculiarly sensitive to the least 
 inappropriate sound. One sultry evening in July, I returned 
 home later than usual, from an arbitration, wherein I lost a cause 
 on which I had counted certainly to win. I suspect I bored the 
 arbitrators with too long a plea, and too voluminous quotations 
 of precedents ; for, when I finished, two were asleep, and most 
 of the others yawning. They decided against my client, and I 
 came home mad with chagrin, and crept into bed, longing for 
 speedy oblivion in the arms of Sleep. 
 
 But that calm sister of death would not be won to my embrace. 
 I lay tossing for a long time in ' restless ecstacy,' until vexed and 
 overwearied nature at last sunk to repose. I could not have 
 slumbered over ten minutes, before I was awakened by the most 
 outrageous caterwauling that ever stung the human ear. I arose
 
 t 
 
 268 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 in a fury, and looked out of the window. All was still. The 
 cause for outcry appeared to have ceased. Now and then there 
 was a low, gutteral wail, hetween a suppressed grunt and a squeal; 
 but it was so faint that nothing could have lived 'twixt that and 
 silence. After a listening probation of a few minutes, I slunk 
 back into my sheets. 
 
 1 had scarcely dozed a quarter of an hour, when the obnox- 
 ious vociferations arose again. They were fierce, ill-natured, and 
 shrill. I arose again, vexed beyond endurance. All was quiet 
 in a moment. I am not given to profanity ; I deem it foolish 
 and wicked ; but on this occasion, after stretching my body like 
 a sheeted ghost, half out of the window, and gazing into the 
 shadows of the garden to discover the object of my annoyance, I 
 exclaimed, in a loud and spiteful voice, which expressed my con- 
 centrated hate : 
 
 '1? n that cat /' 
 
 ' Young gentleman,' said a passing guardian of the night, from 
 the street, ' you had better pop your head in, and stop your 
 noise. If you do n't, you will rue it ; now mind-I-tell-ye.' 
 
 * Look here, old Charley,' said I, in return, ' do n't be im- 
 pertinent. It is your business to preserve the peace, and to ob- 
 viate every evil that looks disgracious in the city's eye. You 
 guard the slumbers of her citizens ; and if you expect a dollar 
 from me at Christmas, for the poetry in your next annual address, 
 you will perform what I now request, and what it is your solemn 
 and bounden duty to do. Spring your rattle; comprehend that 
 vagrom cat, and take her to the watch-house. I will appear as 
 plaintiff against the quadruped, before the mayor, in the morning. 
 Her character is bad her habits are scandalous.' 
 
 ' Oh, pshaw !' said the watchman, and went clattering up the 
 street, singing * N'hav pa-a-st dwelve o'glock, and a glowdee 
 morn.' 
 
 I reverted to my pillow, and fell into a train of conjectures 
 touching the grimalkin. Possibly it might be the darling old 
 friend of Miss Dillon. Then I thought of others then I slept. 
 
 I Can not declare to a second how long my fitful slumber last- 
 ed, before I was startled from my bed by a yell, which proceeded 
 apparently from a cat in my room. I had just been dreaming of 
 a great mouser, with ears like a jackass, and claws, armed with 
 long ' pickers and stingers,' sitting on my bosom, and sucking 
 away my breath. I sprang at once into the middle of the room. 
 I searched everywhere nothing was in the apartment. Then 
 there rushed toward the zenith one universal cat-shriek, which 
 went echoing off on the night-wind like the reverberation of a. 
 sharp thunder-peal.
 
 A CHAPTER ON CATS. 269 
 
 My blood was now up for vengeance. One hungry and fiery 
 wish to destroy that diabolical caterwauler, took possession of my 
 soul. At that instant the clock struck one. It was the death- 
 knell of the feline vocalist. I looked out of the window, and in 
 the light of a stray lot of moonshine, streaming through the tall 
 chimneys to the south-east, I saw Miss Dillon's romantic favorite, 
 alternately cooing and fighting with a large mouser of the neigh- 
 borhood, that I had seen for several afternoons previous, walking 
 leisurely along the garden wall, as if absorbed in deep meditation, 
 and forming some libertine resolve. In fine, they each seemed 
 saturate with the spirit of the Gnome king, Umbriel, in the drama, 
 when he 
 
 ' stalked abroad, 
 
 Urging the wolf to tear the buffalo.' 
 
 The death of one of these noisy belligerents being determined on, 
 I looked round my room for the tools of retribution. Not a movea- 
 ble thing, however, could I discover, save a new pitcher, which 
 had been sent home that very day, and to which my name and 
 address were appended on a bit of card. I clutched it with des- 
 perate fury, and pouring into my bowl the water contained in it, 
 I poised it in my hand for the deadly heave. I had been a mem- 
 ber of a quoit club in the country, and the principles of a clever 
 throw were familiar to me. I resolved to make the vessel de- 
 scribe what is called in philosophy a parabolic curve, so that while 
 it knocked out the brains of one combatant, it should effectually 
 admonish the survivor of the iniquity of his doings. I approach- 
 ed the window balanced the pitcher and then drave it home. 
 Its reception was acknowledged by a loud, choking squall a 
 faint yell of agony, and then a respectful silence. Satisfied that 
 my pitcher had been broken at the fountain of life, and that the si- 
 lent tabby would not soon tune her pipes again, I retired to bed, 
 and slept with the serenity and comfort of one who is conscious of 
 having performed a virtuous action. 
 
 In the morning, the cat was found ' keeled up' on a bed of 
 pinks, with her head broken in, and her ancient and venerable 
 whiskers dabbled in blood. The shattered pitcher lay by her 
 side. The vessel had done its worst so had my victim. The 
 body was taken off early in the forenoon, and decently interred 
 by the gardener, who said to the chambermaid in my hearing, 
 that ' Miss Florence must n't not by no means whatsomever come 
 for to know that the old puss had gone the v'yage.' Stupid 
 hind ! He neither knew the cause of the animal's death, nor the 
 impossibility of its concealment. 
 
 Sorrow is always communicative. Betty had scarcely made
 
 270 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 the beds in the mansion, before she hied to Miss Florence's apart- 
 ment, and related to her the doleful demise of her spotted com- 
 panion. They forthwith descended together into the garden ; re- 
 connoitred the spot where the poor thing breathed her last, and 
 found my broken pitcher with the card attached, oa the very the- 
 atre of destruction. 
 
 Suspicion was aroused. I was the object. Circumstantial 
 evidence was clear against me. When I went home to dinner, I 
 found a note from Florence, accusing me of the murder. I could 
 have turned state's-evidence, and poured the tide of obloquy upon 
 the vile paramour of the deceased ; but I scorned all subterfuge. 
 I answered the note immediately, acknowledging that, in a mo- 
 ment of bewilderment, drowsiness, and passion, I perpetrated the 
 deed, and throwing myself upon her generosity for pardon. 
 
 But it was in vain. I had made a wrong throw. Another angry' 
 note reached me at supper. This, I was determined to answer 
 in person, and called, as soon as tea was over, in a state of pro- 
 fuse perspiration, to effect that object. 
 
 I found Miss Dillon perfectly furious. Her fair face was red 
 with indignation ; consuming fires flashed from her eyes those 
 orbs which I had praised so often, and which were wont to ex- 
 hibit only the light of ' generous meanings.' She inexorably re- 
 fused all attempts at an apology. She gave me back my minia- 
 ture and ring, and protested that I might spare myself any fur- 
 ther concern on her account. She was deeply-read in elemen- 
 tary school-books, and she quoted copiously from a didactic 
 piece in one of them, I think the American Preceptor, ' On 
 Cruelty to Animals,' in which it is conclusively shown that the 
 man who would harm ' a necessary cat,' would not scruple to 
 treat his father like a pickpocket, his wife like a fisherwoman, and 
 his children like puppies. She repeated that she had done with 
 me, and signified a hope that I would take that remark for her 
 ultimatum. 
 
 Just after supper, of a July evening, a young man does not 
 feel cool enough to pocket the slightest contumely. I arose 
 with great dignity, and told Miss Dillon, that I had no desire to 
 press my suit ; that if she demurred, I was ready to confess the 
 judgment, and bow to the same. I observed that from the speci- 
 mens of her temperament that had just then fallen under my no- 
 tice, I could have little regret in sundering a chain which had 
 altered so soon from silk to iron. Memory began to disturb my 
 feelings, and the thought of what I was about to lose, made my 
 voice womanish ; so I cocked my hat on fiercely, bowed politely, 
 and walked rapidly out of the apartment with the tread of a sullen
 
 A CHAPTER ON CATS. 271 
 
 stage hero, who mutters in soliloquy, and ' dialogues with his 
 shadow.' 
 
 Since that period, I have been, in the main, a melancholy man. 
 J am pale, and cynical. The ' opposite sex,' as Mrs. Trollope 
 calls them, charm me not as of yore. I am a waif upon the com- 
 munity, wherein none take an interest. 1 loved Florence Dillon 
 as I shall never love again ; and the cause of our disunion a 
 nullifying cat has given me a sovereign antipathy to all the 
 race. I have no ill-will against young kittens, with their tender 
 voices and affectionate eyes ; and I can contemplate even an old 
 cat in the virtuous retirement of the country, purring drowsily by 
 a winter's fire, with some complacency. Then, the tenor of her 
 life is equable and innocent. She is not subject to be led away 
 after fantastical delights ; she goeth not into temptation. But 
 your city grimalkins have no moral character. Their habits are 
 loose their clamors unceasing. Romantic appointments by 
 night, and household pilferings by day, make up their existence ; 
 and the only time they are harmless, is' in those fitful moments 
 when 
 
 ' their little life, 
 
 Is rounded with a sleep.' 
 
 ft 
 
 They fight and bustle like those celebrated Kilkenny combat- 
 ants, which ate each other up in such wise that not the tail-end 
 of either remained for a token of victory ; ' that died and left no 
 sign.' They creep into cradles, and feed upon the fragrant 
 breath of young children ; and a fatal instance of this kind was 
 recorded in our newspapers only a few months ago. If well 
 used, they grow familiar, and strew your garments with a bequest 
 of hairs ; if you maltreat them, or despitefully use them, they 
 will waste the night-watches in mewing to keep you awake. 
 
 It is well to evoke consolation even from trouble. I know 
 some good jokes of cats, which I can enjoy, even though I know 
 that my Florence is the wife of a stupid old bachelor an 
 'eligible match,' a man with his brains in his purse, and his at- 
 tainments in his breeches' pocket ; in brief, a dough-head of the 
 heaviest description. Yes ! thank old Time, I am better than I 
 was when I was so love-sick. A good story pleases me of late, 
 as it did in my better days. Here is one, which excited my 
 cachinations. I will vouch for its truth. 
 
 An anonymous wag not long ago placed an advertisement in each 
 of our city journals, signed by an eminent house on the Delaware 
 wharf, and stating that FIVE HUNDRED CATS were wanted im- 
 mediately by the firm. The said firm in the meantime knew 
 nothing of the matter.
 
 272 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 On visiting their counting-house the next morning, the partners 
 found the streets literally blocked up with enterprising cat-sellers. 
 Huge negroes were there, each with ten or fifteen sage, grave 
 tabbies tied together with a string. Old market women had 
 brought thither whole families of the feline genus, from the super- 
 annuated Tom, to the blind kitten. The air resounded with the 
 squallings of the quadrupedal multitude. New venders, with 
 their noisy property, were seen thronging to the place from every 
 avenue. 
 
 ' What '11 you guv me for this 'ere lot ?' said a tall shad-wo- 
 man, pressing up toward the counting-room. ' The newspapers 
 says you allow liberal prices. I axes a dollar a piece for the 
 old 'uns, and five levys for the kittens.' 
 
 ' You have been fooled,' said the chief partner, who appeared 
 with a look of dismay at the door, and was obliged to speak as 
 loud amid the din as a sea-captain in a storm. ' I want no cats. 
 I have no use for them. I could not eat them. I could n't 
 sell them. I never adve'rtised for them.' 
 
 A decided mendicant, a member of the great family of loaf- 
 ers, with a red, bulgy nose, and bloated cheeks, who had three 
 cats tied to a string in his hand, now mounted a cotton bale, and, 
 producing a newspaper, spelt the advertisement through as audi- 
 bly as he could under the circumstances, demanding of the as- 
 sembly as he closed, 'if that there advertysement was n't a true 
 bill ?' An unanimous ' Sarting !' echoed through the crowd. 
 Encouraged by the electric response, the loafer proceeded to 
 make a short speech. He touched upon the rights of trade, the 
 liberty of the press, the importance of fair dealing, and the bene- 
 fits of printing ; and concluded by advising his hearers to go the 
 death for their rights, and ' not to stand no humbug.' Such was 
 the effect of his eloquence, that the firm against which he wielded 
 his oratorical thunder, found it necessary to compromise matters 
 by treating the entire concourse to a hogshead of wine. The 
 company separated at an early hour, consoled for the loss of 
 their bargains and the emptiness of their pockets, by the light- 
 someness of their heads and hearts. 
 
 Gentle Reader, my tale is told. If you love cats, I have no 
 objection, because it is none of my business. ' DC gustibits? etc. 
 But if I have not deposed enough to justify my hatred of all the 
 tribe, then argument is powerless, and truth a matter of moon- 
 shine. 

 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 278 
 
 ... ..-,-. M'r.uvi . P..;;-, ^ 
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 
 
 THIS is some fellow, 
 
 Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect 
 A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb, 
 Quite from his nature : He cannot flatter, he ! 
 An honest mind and plain he must speak truth : 
 An' if they take it, so ; if not, he's plain. 
 These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness 
 Harbor more craft and more corrupter ends, 
 Than twenty upright, careful observants, 
 Who weigh the matter nicely. SHAKSPKARE. 
 
 THE fact is as undeniable as it is generally acknowledged, that 
 since the death of Lord Byron, the best fugitive poetry of the 
 United States has been greatly superior to that of England. We 
 have bards among us whose productions \fould shine by the side 
 of seven-tenths even of the authors collected in those ponderous 
 tomes entitled, the ' British Classics,' or Select British Poets.' 
 Let ay reader of taste look over those collections, and see how 
 much matter there is in them, of no superior merit, floating 
 down the stream of time, like flies in amber, only because it is 
 bound up with productions of acknowledged and enduring excel- 
 lence. Let a reader glance, for example, at the volume of Aikin 
 or even of Ha?litt though that is less exceptionable and he 
 will find many effusions, vrhose authors, permissively, are almost 
 sanctified to fame, that are yet greatly inferior to no small portion 
 of American fugitive poetry. This may not at present be readily 
 acknowledged ; because it is a weakness of human nature, that 
 men are apt to attach far less credit to the productions of con- 
 temporary writers, than each of those same writers and his pro- 
 'ductions receive, after the palsy of death has descended upon the 
 hand that recorded, and the heart that indited. 
 
 We need not cite examples in favor of the foregoing declara- 
 tions. Their truth, we believe, is familiar, both to the American 
 public, and the tasteful readers of Europe. In speaking of 
 American poetry, we mean that which has been produced by na- 
 tives, born and bred ; not the forlorn effusions of certain trans- 
 planted foreigners, who have labored so long and so unsuccess- 
 fully to be numbered among the bright train of native bards. We 
 mean the writers and the products of ' our own, our native land.' 
 We feel a glow of honest pride in their array. In the works of 
 HILLHOUSE, we have a strength, a finish, and a profoundness of 
 knowledge, which strike the mind and heart like the page of a 
 
 18
 
 274 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Milton ; productions unsurpassed by any of recent origin, for 
 their correctness, their grandeur, and beauty. In the effusions 
 of BRYANT, the Thomson of America, we have those faithful 
 pictures of natural life and human affection, fraught with the 
 soundest philosophy, which can not fail or die. They are des- 
 tined to live with the Seasons ; to appeal with their pure truth 
 and sweet fidelity, to the intellect and love of other generations. 
 We may mark in HALLECK, the Byronic spirit and fire of song ; 
 the English undefiled ; thrilling the bosom in his lyrics, and 
 charming the taste in his lighter lays. In PERCIVAL, may be 
 seen the flowing diction and imagery of Moore ; and in SPRAGUE, 
 a pathos and harmony, which Pope himself has never exceeded. 
 Are not these allegations undeniable ? What European trage- 
 dy, produced within the last thirty years, is superior to the Ha- 
 dad of Hillhouse ? What poet, in that time, has surpassed in 
 ease and truth the best poems of Bryant? Who, during the 
 same space, abroad or at home, has written a more soul-stirring 
 lyric than Halleck's Marco Botzaris ? Will the best productions 
 of Percival suffer by a comparison with the latest, and of course 
 the maturest, of Moore or Campbell? Will Byron's Prize Ad- 
 dress at Drury Lane compare with Sprague's at the Park Thea- 
 tre ? Has not the latter been pronounced every way superior, 
 even in England ? We propose these questions with pride. 
 They have already been triumphantly answered on both sides of 
 the Atlantic. 
 
 But this is not all. There are other names, full of promise, 
 growing yearly more lustrous in our literary annals, to which we 
 have not time or space at present to allude. They are names 
 borne by scholars and men of intellect, whose busy pursuits may 
 repress the influence of song within them, but can not mar their 
 power. From them, and their compeers, something elevated and 
 lasting may in due time be confidently expected. 
 
 There is one cause which has perhaps operated somewhat 
 against a proper appreciation of the writers we have mentioned. 
 Their actual merits are in our opinion undervalued, on account 
 of the complaints occasionally made of them by journalists, that 
 no one of them has produced a long poem. This is very true ; 
 but we do not conceive it necessary that a man should create a 
 labored epic to substantiate a claim to the character of a first-rate 
 poet. Gray has descended to posterity, and will go on to other 
 ages, in his incomparable Elegy ; Goldsmith is not less exten- 
 sively known by his Hermit, than by his other productions ; 
 while Milton, and Pop&, and numerous others whom we might 
 name, are commended to the general world more by passages in
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 275 
 
 % their great works, than by the entire works themselves. There- 
 fore we may say confidently, that all the native poets we have 
 mentioned, have written matter which possesses all the elements 
 of perpetuity ; poems, which though short, are perfect ; full of 
 nature and life, without blemish or stain. 
 
 That we have such poets in our country, and that there are 
 those who, by patient thought, unobtrusive study, and the untir- 
 ing pursuit of knowledge in aid of their natural genius, are de- 
 sirous to emulate such examples, until they themselves may de- 
 serve approbation and success, is, we believe, a source of gratifi- 
 cation to the mind of every American critic. The course of our 
 highest authorities in literature, the North American Review 
 and the Christian Examiner, exhibits a patronizing and dis- 
 criminating spirit in this matter, which is worthy of all praise, 
 since it will conduce in an eminent degree to the advancement of 
 polite letters in our country. The editors of these eminent jour- 
 nals in no instance permit their pages to be made the conduits of 
 private bile, and individual spleen. They judge with justice, 
 and in kindness they condemn. They permit no scribe who is 
 scouted by the public, and whose name, when known, is an anti- 
 dote to his adverse opinions, to sully their leaves with the sug- 
 gestions of envious and revengeful sentiment, the results of dis- 
 appointed authorship, and a galling sense of personal obscurity. 
 They look to the promise of native works, and exhibit that good 
 sense and feeling by whose guidance they escape the mortifica- 
 tion of seeing themselves the objects of ridicule, and their opinions 
 utterly reversed, both in Europe and America. They are re- 
 garded with respect, as men above the reach or the persuasion 
 of contemptible motives ; and with the law of courteous impar- 
 tiality guiding their pens, they perform, with honest impulses, 
 their duty to the literary efforts of their countrymen. 
 
 It is a matter of praise, also, that these are gentlemen, the 
 merits of whose productions entitle them to sit in judgment upon 
 the works of others. Theirs are the benefits of an unbroken 
 education ; the enlarged views and information acquired by 
 travel ; the proper sentiments inspired by a love of the land of 
 their birth ; and the honest desire to increase rather than dimin- 
 ish the reputation of their fellow-laborers in kindred pursuits. 
 This course inspires in their contemporaries throughout the 
 country a feeUng of respectful confidence, which is the parent 
 and prompter of every intellectual undertaking. 
 
 We sincerely wish that we might pursue this just tribute to 
 other quarters of similar pretensions ; but we find it impossible. 
 Two quarterlies remain the United States and the American
 
 276 PROSE MISCELLANIES. ffl 
 
 Reviews, both of Philadelphia. The former has as yet put fort* 
 but one number, which is highly national and liberal in its char- 
 acter, and promises well for those which are to succeed ; but the 
 work has not existed long enough to merit the praise which we 
 do not doubt it will deserve and receive. The American Quar- 
 terly has struggled along in the hands of different publishers, until 
 the present time. The conductor of the work, very properly, 
 has always refrained from laying any claim to consideration in the 
 matter of poetry. It has never interested his mind, nor occupied 
 his attention ; he professes to experience none of its soul ; and 
 while the other departments of his periodical are sustained with 
 a very laudable degree of talent, that of poetical criticism has 
 been usually consigned to a person so utterly unfit for the office 
 as to excite surprise and derision wherever his agency in this di- 
 vision of the Review is known. 
 
 In discussing the merits of this individual which we shall do 
 with all possible gentleness, consistent with the evils we are to 
 expose we disclaim every sentiment of unkindness or sinister 
 partiality. We know that in literature, as in politics, he who 
 undertakes to lead or guide, should be able satisfactory to an- 
 swer two questions that may be asked concerning him : 'Is he 
 honest ? Is he capable ?' We know that poetry is an important 
 part of belles-lettres ; and we desire to see no misleading of the 
 general mind, in relation to its state and progress in our republic. 
 We would invest this high department of art with a divine and 
 holy atmosphere, into whose magic circle no motives of envy, of 
 chagrin, of policy or revenge, should be permitted to enter. If 
 we succeed in proving that these incitements have hitherto defiled 
 the oracles of criticism, and poisoned the rich flow of song 
 among us, then we shall be amply repaid for the use of the facts 
 we have gathered, and the lash we wield. 
 
 It is difficult to describe a live critic, without some particulars. 
 Johnson and Gifford gave these, each for himself. In the present 
 case we shall eschew all personality, which we condemn ; and in 
 giving a few points of an author, shall avoid touching the man. 
 
 Imprimis there is, in the city of Brotherly Love, on the 
 corner of one of its rectangular thoroughfares, a small store, or 
 shop, in which is sold Irish finen ; whether leady made or not, 
 we can not tell. It is the mart of a Quarterly Critic ; once a 
 practiser of the Galenian art, and as we have learned, with a suc- 
 cess equalling the Asclepidae of yore. In Hibernia he was 
 4 raised ;' to America he came ; in Philadelphia he pitched his 
 tent ; and rejecting physic, took to trade, in which he now trans- 
 acts a decent business, in a small way. We mention these bio-
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 277 
 
 graphical items in the outset, as arguments that his profession is 
 neither literary nor akin to it ; and that he is consequently quite 
 unable to serve both Mercury and Apollo at once. 
 
 Speculation, however, is the spirit of the age ; and our Cen- 
 sor determined not to be entirely occupied in the linen line. 
 Accordingly he came the evil eye over an unfortunate publisher, 
 who consented to issue a monthly magazine and Review of Lit- 
 erature under his supervision. Previous to this, we should re- 
 mark, he put forth a poem entitled ' The Pleasures of Friend- 
 ship,' a mediocre volume, containing, we venture to assert, more 
 palpable plagiarisms than can be found in any book of its size 
 in Christendom. The magazine was begun ; and with it began 
 the criticisms of the editor. Beside these operations, he had 
 other irons in the fire ; he had novels in embryo. Before al- 
 luding to these, we will show the gradations by which our critic 
 rose to the acquisition of his present acumen as a quarterly re- 
 viewer. 
 
 When this monthly was in its maturity, the reputation of Lord 
 BYUON was at its height. They who once blamed, had become 
 eulogists ; the best intelligences of both hemispheres were warm- 
 ed by his genius, and vocal in his praise. But our profound 
 reviewer cared for none of these things. Pie expressed great 
 commiseration for -the noble poet. He speaks of him in his 
 work, as a man ' whose heavy volumes of stanzas have pestered 
 the world ; a mere titled rhymester ; the author of a mass of 
 hobbling, teeth-grinding poetry; the major portions of whose 
 writings possess not the smallest particle of the soul of poetry ;' 
 and after an assortment of criticisms, quite equal to the foregoing, 
 he lumps the merits of Byron in the following summary passage : 
 ' That in the multiplicity of his Lordship's writings we should, 
 by dint of industrious research, discover some easy flowing pas- 
 sages and brilliant ideas, is not much to his credit for we can 
 find the same things in the dull heroics of Sir Richard Black- 
 more.' Finally, Byron is advised by our Aristarchus, in 1824, 
 to quit poetry, wherein he is so deficient, and turn his attention 
 to prose, in which he might hope for decent success ! 
 
 Nothing seems to have yielded this critic more unqualified de- 
 light than the death of Lord Byron. It gave a clearer field for 
 his publications ; it ' left the world for him to bustle in.' His 
 ecstacies on hearing of that sad event, were irrepressible. He 
 came forth with a Te Deum in his Review, from which we make 
 a few extracts : ' Wo, now,' saith he, ' to these witlings, (the ad- 
 mirers of Byron,) who have neither ears to discover harmony, 
 nor skill to count numbers; who mistake rhvmes for wit; the
 
 27S PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Great Dagon of their idolatry is no more ! Well may they raise 
 the ul-ul-loo ; he who bullied the crowd into the reading of bad 
 English, who inflicted upon men of good taste the penance of pe- 
 rusing hobbling numbers and false rhymes, has withdrawn from 
 the scene of his exploits ! Bellow forth, ye rugged verse lovers, 
 till ye split your lungs with lamentations ! Stiff, unwieldly couplets, 
 or barbarous Spenserians, made the vehicles of unnatural quaint- 
 ness or affected originality of ideas, have no longer a sprig of no- 
 bility to dignify them, or give them attraction to the unreflecting 
 multitude !' 
 
 Our Reviewer's opinions of Sir WALTER SCOTT, (a gentle- 
 man of Abbotsford, North Britain, who wrote some novels and 
 . poetry,) are kindred with those he entertained of Lord Byron. 
 He speaks of him as ' an unknown Scotchman ;' and of certain 
 Waverley novels that received by far the most praise on their 
 appearance, and continue to be cherished with fond admiration 
 by every reader of taste as ' slovenly and insipid productions ; 
 abounding with affected sentimentality, blackguards and scoun- 
 drels, common as thistles in a Scotch glen ; with sheepish he- 
 roes, foot-balls to every one that might choose to kick them.' 
 These ' blundering works,'* he condemns in toto ; calls them 
 ' disgraceful literary manufactures, common-place, and stupidly 
 constructed.' In conclusion, he gave it as his candid opinion, 
 that * the sooner Sir Walter Scott ceased to write, the better for 
 himself and the public.' This, reader, was when the author of 
 Waverley was covered with renown, and after he had produced 
 some of his most immortal productions ! 
 
 It is well known that Sir Walter Scott was a fervent admirer 
 and friend of WASHINGTON IRVING. His letter, warmly com- 
 mending the efforts of our celebrated countryman, published last 
 year in a daily journal of high authority,! expressed the ardor of 
 the Baronet's esteem and respect for the author of Knickerbocker. 
 He also applauded him, publicly, in Peveril of the Peak. We 
 regret to say, that our critic has as contemptuous an iddfc of Sir 
 Walter's opinions, as of his works. We can best show how 
 widely he differs from the author of Waverley, respecting Irving, 
 by quoting his opinions of that writer, as contained in the Phila- 
 delphia Monthly Review. In that periodical he speaks of Geof- 
 
 So unbounded is the popularity of one of these very novels ; so strong the hold 
 which it has taken upon the general reverence; that a large and flourishing town 
 has arisen where the scene was laid. Its crowded streets are rife with bustle and 
 animation, and its hotels thronged continually with visitors. Had it not been for 
 the genius of SCOTT, the place would be at this jnoment a rural waste. 
 
 t The New-York American.
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 279 
 
 frey Crayon as a scribbler of ' skip-along, trim-the hop, popinjay 
 prose ; whose Sketch Book abounds with heavy, disagreeable 
 matter, betraying throughout little merit but imitation.' Those 
 portions which the world has decided to be the best and most 
 graphic, are pronounced ' absolutely silly, fit only for the pages 
 of two-penny primers, to amuse children.' The utmost credit 
 conceded to Geoffrey, is ' that his productions may possibly be- 
 guile a dull hour, or please a blue stocking ; but farther than this 
 the critic can recognise no merit in them. With true Hibernian 
 simplicity, he asks respecting these eminent works : ' What les- 
 son do they teach ? What information do they convey ? What 
 impression do they make ?' and adds : ' We can not see their 
 value.' He confesses that they are popular and successful ; but 
 he imputes the cause to the bribery and corruption of the Edin- 
 burgh and London reviewers, by the booksellers, to help Irving 
 along ! 
 
 A very general, though it would seem erroneous impression, 
 has prevailed, and is still cherished, both in Europe and America, 
 with regard to the style of Irving. Ripe scholars and real critics, 
 everywhere, have given their suffrages in favor of this style, as pos- 
 sessing quiet sweetness and ease ; pure as the Latin in 'Augustus* 
 golden Age,' or the English, in the Elizabethan. But these men 
 have been all in the wrong. Our Longinus can see, in this far- 
 famed style, neither comeliness nor grace. He protests that * it 
 reminds him of a boy moving awkwardly on stilts, who is strain- 
 ing every nerve to prevent a downfall !' 
 
 Next to Washington Irving, in the condemnatory estimation of 
 our critic, comes JAMES FENIMORE COOPER, who seems a 
 peculiarly obnoxious culprit in the view of his judge. Fearful 
 that Cooper would supplant some of his own sublime novels, 
 then in process of manufacture, he pounced upon his rival right 
 greedily. He damned ' The Pioneers' at once, by calling it 
 * unwieldly, slovenly, ungrammatical,' and insufferable ; and ' as a 
 story, entirely destitute of interest.' ' The Pilot' suffered very 
 nearly the same fate. These works, however, yet survive, and 
 the reputation of the author has recovered in a measure from the 
 cruel and awful blow thus bestowed upon its integrity. 
 
 The popular poets of the Union did not escape the visitations 
 of our Reviewer. He finished HALLECK, in a few words, by 
 pronouncing him an inveterate doggerelist ; ' a man capable of 
 throwing the most common and contemptible ideas into metre.' 
 PERCIVAL suffers in the same pillory. So great is the furor of 
 the critic in relation to this gentleman, that he delivers himself in 
 verse. We hope the reader will excuse the profanity. It is a
 
 2SO PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 way the reviewer has of his own, and we give his lines verbatim : 
 
 As for our poets, d n them, one and all, 
 
 Except the megrim-haunted PERCIVAL ; 
 For his are lays that suit the Theban taste, 
 By sense unburthened, nor by music graced.' 
 
 In further discussing Percival's merits, this literary Daniel 
 takes occasion to remark, that the charm, both of prose" and po- 
 etry, is simplicity; and he illustrates this charm as follows: 
 * Mr. Percival would seem to think that harmony of cadence and 
 musical numbers were mere incumbrances upon the wild freedom 
 with which the nine deities should be permitted to drag us through 
 all the entanglements and confusions of an ill-sorted, unconnected, 
 and heterogeneous mass of cogitations, conglomerated into one in- 
 definable collection, by the wondrous instrumentality of that mighty 
 father of discordance and grotesque originality, known by the 
 name of haphazard.' Here is the prose style of this lover of 
 simplicity ! 
 
 It gives us pleasure to turn from cast-off bards, to a poet who 
 has won the suffrages of our critic. In a review of the ' Moun- 
 tain Muse,' (a crude, youthful production, now forgotten, and of 
 which its amiable author, Mr. Bryan, of Alexandria, is heartily 
 ashamed,) he says, * This poem, though long, manifests an im~ 
 men.se genius, equal to that of Byron or Percival. In the tuneful 
 movement of his strains, Mr. Bryan is much their superior.' 
 
 It may well be supposed that all these consistent specimens of 
 acumen did their author no credit. He was derided by the best 
 writers throughout the country. The ridicule he excited, awa- 
 kened his angry muse ; he buried his rowels in his Pegasus, and 
 4 rode in mud.' We doubt whether the most phrensied effusions 
 of Nat. Lee are wilder than the doggerels composed by our au- 
 thor, in reply to his critics. But as some of his own brain-born 
 progeny were just then extant, policy whispered him that he 
 should conciliate these high authorities in his favor. His novel 
 of the^Wilderness had appeared. He had transported copies of 
 it to the North American Review, and was looking with painful 
 anxiety to see them duly lauded. His eulogies upon that work, 
 therefore, were cordial in the extreme. His Review teemed 
 with^ts praise. We can only find room for the following sen- 
 tences : 
 
 ' The North American is one of the fairest Reviews of the day. It has al- 
 ways advanced something of its own, to prove that it could be boldly original 
 when it pleased. Ou the whole, we have found a spirit of candor and a 
 vein of good sense, generally to pervade the work, which induces us to es- 
 teem it one of the most useful publications of the age/
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 281 
 
 Whether the North American Review appeared sooner than 
 its eulogist expected, we know not ; but it reached Philadelphia 
 before his monthly went to press. It contained a notice of the 
 Wilderness ; but alas ! it was such a one as the author was not 
 prepared to see. The Reviewer, after a few judicious remarks 
 as to what ought to constitute an American novel, thus analyzes 
 the Wilderness : 
 
 'Br casting an eye over these pages, it will be seen at a glance, that the 
 art of writing an American novel is neither more nor less than the art of 
 describing, under American names, such scenes as are in no respect Ameri- 
 can, peopling them with adventurers from all quarters of the globe, except 
 America, with a native or two here and there, acting as no American ever 
 acts, and talking a language which on the other side of the water may pass 
 for American simply because it is not English. Thus the chief dramatis 
 persona of the Wilderness are a Scotch Irishman, (by which we mean an 
 Irishman who talks Scotch,) an American Irishman, (by which we mean an 
 Irishman born in America,) with an Irish Irishman, (by which we mean 
 Paddy himself, ) for his servant ; a sort of mad Indian, who turns out to be 
 a Frenchified Scotchman ; together with General Washington, and a few 
 other mere nondescripts. The plot is carried on by means of the wars of 
 the last century, between the French and English settlers of our western 
 wilderness, and the loves of Gen. Washington, who plays the double part of 
 Romeo among the ladies, and Alexander the Great among the Indians, 
 with signal success.' 
 
 After describing some of those lusus natura characters with 
 which the Wilderness abounds, and giving a slight insight into 
 its undefinable plot, the Reviewer proceeds : 
 
 ' BUT it is time to introduce another hero, who acts a most conspicuous 
 part in the progress of the Tale. Upon the return of Mr. Adderly (one of 
 the heroes) to Philadelphia, for the purpose of giving an account of himself 
 to the Ohio company, the governor of Virginia despatches Mr. George 
 Washington, who is spoken of as 'a very respectable looking young man,' 
 on an embassy to the French government at Fort de Bceuf, to demand an 
 explanation of the recent outrages committed by his people on the Indians, 
 at their instigation, against the British settlers. Not long after, as the her- 
 oine and Miss Nancy Frazier were sitting under a tree together, as roman- 
 tically as possible, Miss Nancy listening, and Miss Maria reading, ' with a 
 tenderness and pathos of manner which showed that her whole soul was en- 
 wrapt with the delightful strains in which the poet of the seasons has told 
 his sweetest tale :' 
 
 4 Maria had just pronounced the following exquisite lines : 
 
 ' He saw her charming, but he saw not half 
 The charms her down-cast modesty concealed,' 
 
 when Nancy happening to direct her attention to one side, perceived a white 
 man (the reader should bear in mind that Washington was a white man .') 
 leaning against a tree, scarce three yards distant. She immediately started 
 to her feet in surprise, crying out: 
 
 ' Oh ! Maria ! here is a white stranger !' 
 This ' white stranger 1 was Washington. The ladies shortly
 
 282 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 after escorted him to their house. Here they placed feed before 
 the Father of his Country, in the shape of cakes and metheglin. 
 The author makes Washington eat merely to gratify the ladies, 
 one of whom asks him, with great tenderness of manner, why he 
 does not ' use' more of her victuals ? After this, Washington 
 becomes very intimate with Miss Frazier ; delivers long speech- 
 es to her whenever a chance offers ; fights Indians and makes 
 love, ' off and on,' and finally ascertains that Miss Frazier is en- 
 gaged. The North American Reviewer gracefully sums up these 
 and ten thousand other improbable adventures, such as Washing- 
 ton's dancing jigs at parties ; dressing in the character of an In- 
 dian chief, with leggins, porcupine quills, etc., and keeping noc- 
 turnal appointments, while, to use the words of the author, ' the 
 earth was wrapt in a tolerably thick mantle of darkness. 1 The 
 Review is perfectly fair ; none of the incidents are distorted, and 
 the ridicule is natural. Its humor and justice were universally 
 acknowledged. 
 
 This article changed the opinions of the author of the Wilder- 
 ness, respecting the North American Review, at once. Stung 
 by the ridicule which the paper on his work excited, and panting 
 for satisfaction, he came out, in the self-same number containing 
 the plaudits that we have quoted, with the subjoined appendix. 
 It is the most notable specimen of word-eating on record : 
 
 'DEGENERACY OF THE NO B TH AMERICAN REVIEW! 
 
 ' In the leading article of our present number, we complimented this Re- 
 view for the honesty which it had hitherto displayed in its animadversions 
 on authors. When we committed that compliment to paper, we were far 
 from expecting that we should so soon have to change our opinion. The 
 sheet containing it, however, was hardly printed off, when the Review for 
 the present quarter fell into our hands, and afforded decisive and melan- 
 choly proof that it no longer continued the honest and able journal of criti- 
 cism we have so long esteemed it ." 
 
 Pursuing this topic in the same number, this author asks, with 
 a feeling of injured self-complacency : ' To what principle in hu- 
 man nature are we to ascribe this ill-natured feeling of the critics ? 
 It is to envy ; it is to a dread of being surpassed in literary repu- 
 tation !' 
 
 The degenerate' article of the North American Review fin- 
 ished our critic as an author. The feebleness of his inventions, 
 the emptiness of his pretensions, and his utter ignorance of every 
 attribute calculated to make a real American novel, were fully 
 established. His self-esteem, however, was insatiable ; and so 
 novel after novel oozed from his cerebellum, and fell dead-born 
 from the press ! Finally he began to fancy that romance was 
 not his forte, and renewed his suit with the Nine.
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 283 
 
 On this point of evidence in his literary history, we feel com- 
 pletely posed. We are surrounded with gems of various waters ; 
 we are in a wilderness of flowers ; and how shall we cull them ? 
 We feel like Franklin's little Philosopher, with the superfluous 
 apples. Our author has written on all subjects ; on Ireland, and 
 the far West ; on the Sun, and also the Moon ; on land and sea, 
 arvorum et sidera cceli. Our only method is to plunge at once 
 into this vast collection of themes, and select the best. As the 
 present month is particularly patriotic in its associations, we com- 
 mence with the following quatrains. They came out of the au- 
 thor's mind, on account of seeing some ladies ' fetching a walk,' 
 one fourth of July. We have only room for fragments. The 
 reader is desired to note the numerous possessives in the first 
 verse, and the blending of past and present in the other stanza. 
 Well was it written on the glorious Fourth. It celebrates the 
 Union of the Tenses : 
 
 ' Columbia's fair, a lovely train, 
 
 All ardent in your country's cause ; 
 With glowing hearts ye join the strain, 
 That sings the birth of freedom's laws. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 4 Dependent on a stranger's will, 
 
 Your sires long owned a tyrant lord, 
 Their wrongs on wrongs increasing still, 
 While tyrants no relief afford.' 
 
 There are two qualities strikingly manifest in the critic's metre ; 
 namely, his rhyming words, and a peculiar system of joining a 
 whole line together with matrimonial hyphens. In an effusion on 
 Early Scenes, he gives us the subjoined lines. It is not for us 
 to instruct so able a poet in the art of verse ; but we make bold 
 to suggest, that if the o were out of ' joy,' in the annexed stanza, 
 its rhythmus would be considerably eased : 
 
 * For then, if ills or fears invade, 
 
 The lightsome spirit bids them fly ; 
 And then th' impressions strong are made, 
 Of ne'er to-be-forgotten-joy.' 
 
 The quality exhibited in this last line, to wit, that of compound 
 compression, by means of the conjunctive hyphen, is beyond all 
 praise. We know nothing to exceed it, save the remark of the 
 Morning Post, in Horace Smith's Rejected Addresses, where 
 the people are informed that ' they may expect soon to be sup- 
 plied with vegetables, in the in -general -stewed -with -cabbage- 
 stalks - but- on - Saturday - night- lighted - up - with - lamps market 
 of Covent Garden.' 
 
 It is perhaps in the elegiac stanza that our critic's poetry runs
 
 284 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 the smoothest. Witness the following, from a long and a strong 
 strain, near the grave of a rural poet in Ireland. The rhyme is 
 ineffahly grand. The only improvement that could be proposed, 
 would be to spell the last word in the first line, desarts, instead 
 of the present mode. We think it might give the metre a bene- 
 fit, but we make the suggestion with profound diffidence : 
 
 Turn to your hut, the falling roof deserts 
 There genius long her darling will deplore ; 
 His country owned him as a man of parts 
 She owned him SUch but ah ! she did no more !' 
 
 JPfy man is fonder than our author of a strain. It is a constant 
 operation with him. Thus : 
 
 ' to the Indian shines the gem in vain, 
 The richest product of bis native fields, 
 The tiger crushes with regardless strain, 
 The loveliest flower the sylvan desert yields.' 
 
 Now we are not intimate with wild animals, having but a slight 
 menagerie acquaintance with them : but we believe the tiger must 
 be a weaker beast than naturalists are aware of, if he is obliged 
 to strain much in crushing a flower. 
 
 Here comes a strain in another verse ; or rather a verse in an- 
 other strain : 
 
 4 Now to the lonely wood or desert vale, 
 With lengthened stride, he hurries o'er the plain ; 
 
 And mutters to the wind his wayward tale, 
 Or chants abrupt, a discontented strain.' , 
 
 This, be it remembered, is the gait of a musing, melancholy 
 bard. Now, the walk of a thoughtful man is solemn and slow. 
 He gives his pensive fancies to the air beneath a beech at noon- 
 tide, or he saunters in listless idleness along. Who but our au- 
 thor would represent him, ' locomoting' on a long, dog-trot over 
 the bogs of his neighborhood, or going ahead like the famous 
 steam-boat of Davy Crockett's, that jumped all the sawyers in 
 the Mississippi?- 
 
 An amatory effusion, addressed by this writer to a virgin of 
 his acquaintance, commences thus : 
 
 ' Maid of the lovely-rolling eye !' 
 
 In truth, he appears always to have preferred Venus to Miner- 
 va, and a defective education was the result, which is every- 
 where exhibited in his writings. He tells us that he used to 
 throw his books to the dogs, 
 
 * and mingling in the sprightly train, 
 
 In many a gambol, scoured the plain.' 
 
 Indeed he is candid enough to say, expressly :
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 286 
 
 .* I boldly shunned the school, 
 And scorning all distracting rule, 
 The dreaded master's voice behind 
 I thought I heard in every wind-'' 
 
 * 
 
 A person conversant with the writings of GRAY, might fancy 
 a kind of plagiarism here, from the following lines in the Ode to 
 Eton College, where, speaking of school-boys, he sings : 
 
 'still as they run, they look behind 
 
 They hear a voice in every ivindj etc. 
 
 But we will be merciful. The similitude is merely one of the 
 thousand and nine strange coincidences with common English 
 authors, in which all the verses of this very original writer 
 abound. In this particular instance he was excusable for ima- 
 gining that he heard a voice in the wind, and for saying so in 
 his rhymes, since his stolen relaxation was very suspicious. He 
 went, he says, to meet a young woman, 
 
 ' with charms divine that first could move, 
 
 And fire my youthful soul to love, 
 And show the hawthorn in the mead 
 To whose well-known, concealing shade 
 In evenings cool we oft would stray.' 
 
 He remarks, also, that being thus cosily situated, under the 
 hawthorn aforesaid, they concluded ' to bring the vale to witness 
 their tale,' and that ' she was kind, and he was blest.' Particu- 
 lars are omitted. It is possible that this is the same maid whom 
 he immortalizes in another production, and to whom comfort is 
 administered, just as the twain are leaving Ireland for Philadel- 
 phia, in the following affectionate and hopeful lines : 
 
 ' We need not grieve now, our friends to leave now, 
 
 For Erin's fields we again shall see ; 
 But first a lady, in Pennsylvania, 
 My dear, remember thou art to be !' 
 
 Here, capricious in luxury, we must pause, and turn to an- 
 other department in which our critic has excelled ; namely, in the 
 I)rama. 
 
 His first tragedy was called ' The Usurper,' and although it was 
 a most deplorable failure, yet the author strenuously contended 
 that it was no fault of his. Everything that benevolence could 
 suggest was done to make it live, and to resuscitate it after death ; 
 but in vain. Prometheus himself could not have revived it, with 
 all the authentic fire of Jove. To herald its advent, every pos- 
 sible exertion was made in the newspapers, under the immediate 
 direction of the author. How many were the free admissions, 
 how numberless the antecedent puffs which he caused to be
 
 
 2S6 PH08K MISCELLANIES. 
 
 caused to be manufactured, or else produced himself; all setting 
 forth, in sugared phraseology, that * our gifted fellow-townsman, 
 Dr. McH***Y,' would appear as a dramatist on such a night ! 
 It was even publicly hinted, by a friendly journalist, at our 
 author's special solicitation, that 'it was understood that the 
 seats were nearly all taken, and that all who desired to witness 
 its first representation, must make immediate application at the 
 box office !' But alas ! the tragedy was inflicted but twice upon 
 an exceedingly sparse audience, and then expired. The cause 
 of its untimely demise was explained at length to the public at 
 the time, by the author, and proved to be, that the actors were 
 jealous of the writer's reputation ! ' Sir,' said he to an unfortunate 
 gentleman whom he held by the button in Chestnut-street, ' the 
 decline of this production was principally owing to one of the 
 supernumeraries. He was despatched to secure a distinguished 
 prisoner, one of the heroes of the play. When he returned 
 without him, he should have replied thus to the question, 
 ' Where's your prisoner ?' 
 
 ' My lord, we caught him, and we held him long ; , 
 
 But as d d fate decreed, he 'scaped our grasp, 
 
 And fled.' 
 
 Now, sir, this is poetry ; it stirs the blood, and makes an au- 
 dience feel very uneasy. And how do you think that elegant 
 passage was spoken ? Why, it was done in this wise : 
 
 Quest. ' Well, have you catch'd the prisoner ? 
 
 Ans. 'Yes, Sir, we catch'd him, but we could not 
 Hold him and he's off.' 
 
 ' That very passage, my friend, together with the pre-disposed 
 stupidity of the audience, ruined my tragedy ; and it is lost to 
 the stage.' 
 
 But these reverses did not damp the vanity of our author. 
 Though the public condemned and laughed, yet his familiar 
 friends looked upon all the works that he had made, and pro- 
 nounced them good. Thus, the Usurper, though dead and bur- 
 ied, was duly glorified in the American Quarterly Review. A 
 labored analysis of its incomprehensible plot was given, and ' its 
 sweetness, tenderness, and simplicity,' set forth by extracts ! 
 
 Animated by these partial plaudits, our dramatist turned his 
 attention to comedy. Feeling indignant at the unbending Mor- 
 decais of the critical world, he determined to crucify them all, 
 emblematically. So he wrote a piece called ' Love and Poetry.' 
 This lived two nights. One passage only is preserved in the 
 memory of the hearers. The hero, a poet, was made to commit
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 287 
 
 a highway robbery ; and his poor old father, lamenting the in- 
 fatuated criminality of his boy, exclaims in a burst of parental an- 
 guish : 
 
 ' Alas ! my brain is wild my heait is sad ; 
 
 And, as 't is troublesome to tarry here, 
 
 Where every thing reminds me of my son, 
 
 I think, upon reflection, I will go 
 
 And live in Hie Western Country ." 
 
 On the second representation, at the theatre in Walnut-street, 
 the quondam Circus, there were about a dozen persons in the 
 boxes, perhaps twenty In the pit, and one enterprising Cyprian in 
 the third tier. The piece was listened to with great solemnity. 
 It was written for amusement, but the author had the fun all to 
 himself. So irresistibly comic was it, that there was scarcely a 
 smile during the whole performance. The friends of the writer, 
 unwilling to be ' in at the death' of his comedy, had staid away. 
 They knew it would be dismal to look upon the bantling of a 
 fellow-townsman, in articulo mortis, and they spared themselves 
 the trial. The curtain descended ; and sundry peanut-eating pit- 
 lings, (who lay along on several benches, each occupying two or 
 three,) made an unanimous call for the author. He arose from 
 his solitude in the second box, second tier, where he had en- 
 sconced himself, and said : 
 
 ' Ladies and Gentlemen : I thank you for this triumphant mark of esteem 
 and honor. It is not on account of pecuniary considerations that I thank 
 you, for I perceive by a glance at the house, that the avails will not be ex- 
 tensive ; but ladies and gentlemen, I am thankful for the glory,' 1 (and here 
 he smote his breast with sonorous emphasis,) ' the undying glory which I 
 feel at this moment. Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you ALL.' 
 
 This was the last of our critic's dramatic productions. He 
 has since attended to the linen trade, and occupied the stool of 
 poetical criticism in the American Quarterly Review. All the 
 long, dull articles in that periodical, from first to last, on the sub- 
 ject of American poetry, have been from his pen. The drift of 
 them generally is, to show that there is not and can not be such 
 a thing as American verse, and that in this particular the only 
 way to succeed, is to abandon the idea of any independent litera- 
 ture of our own, and trust for that commodity to trans-atlantic 
 producers. 
 
 We can not enumerate the various critiques in which this same 
 sweet bard has destroyed all the chief minstrels of the land ; but 
 the ideas of ihe American Quarterly with respect to the merits of 
 BRYANT, are too peculiar to be lost. It is true, that they differ 
 in the matter from the recorded opinions of every eminent Review 
 in Europe ; but then taste is taste, and there is no accounting for
 
 PBOSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 it. The productions of Bryant are esteemed by this Philadel- 
 phia quarterly as utterly devoid of any qualities to excite the 
 reader's curiosity or interest his heart. ' Page after page,' it 
 says, ' may be perused, if the reader has sufficient patience, with 
 dull placidity, or rather perfect unconcern, so that the book shall 
 be laid aside without a single passage having been impressed 
 upon the mind as worthy of recollection.' 
 
 Now, when opinions like these are advanced, in utter opposi- 
 tion to the whole world of letters, in defiance of taste and sense, 
 the question naturally arises, Who judges thus foolishly ? This, 
 as far as the American Quarterly Review is concerned, we have 
 endeavored to show in the foregoing pages, and in so doing, have 
 set down naught in malice. The choice morsels of biography 
 that we have presented, are inseparable from the works of our 
 author ; they are, moreover, notorious. The moral of all is, that 
 our literature has been long enough degraded by alien intruders, ' 
 who have neither learning nor genius, and by those enemies of the 
 most dignified interests of the cbuntry, who have aided and abet- 
 ted their shallow pretensions. Were it likely that a discontinu- 
 ance of the evil is at hand, we might be content to let such liter- 
 ary empirics make themselves as ridiculous as they please. But 
 when, because anonymous, their bad taste infects even a limited 
 number of readers, their influence becomes offensive. The di- 
 vine Plato, in his immortal dialogue of Protagoras, tells us, that 
 in the arts it is only the opinions of those who are themselves 
 gifted and skilful, that ought to be respected. And what kind 
 of skill, by our present unbiassed showing, has been evinced by 
 this Critic ? He is a walking synonym for a failure, in every- 
 thing. We are told on good authority, though the work has not 
 yet reached us, that in the last number of the American Quar- 
 terly, our Aristarchus is at his work again. He confesses the, 
 general popularity of several American poets, but lays the blame 
 on the press and the public. He thinks that both should be 
 slow to commend, and be careful not to be gulled. Such advice 
 comes with miserable grace from the author. His insatiate hun- 
 ger for praise, and his continual supplications for it, of the edi- 
 torial fraternity of Philadelphia, are proverbial. And, as to de- 
 ceiving the public, we place him at our bar, and ask him to es- 
 tablish his own innocence. Did he not once determine to take 
 the general applause by storm, and on the publication of one of 
 his unhappy novels, repeatedly stop the press, and cause second^ 
 third, and fourth editions to be inserted in the title-page of the 
 same impression ? Was not the third edition for sale at the 
 book-stores before the first was bound ? Was not the same
 
 AMERICAN POETS, AND THEIR CRITICS. 299 
 
 system adopted with several of his other works, the plagiarized 
 * Pleasures of Friendship,' especially ? Any Philadelphia book- 
 seller can answer these queries, much more readily than our 
 critic would like to admit them. It is only by such modes of 
 grasping at ephemeral praise, through trickery, coupled with ad- 
 vance eulogies and surmises in newspapers : 
 
 ' e P augurio, a la bugia, 
 
 chiromanti, ed ogni fallace arte, 
 Sorte, indovini, e falsa profezia,' 
 
 that this critic has ever been honored, even with ridicule. All 
 his articles have proceeded from the ignoblest private motives, 
 either of hope or of retaliation. Thus, the argument spoken of as 
 contained in his last Review ; namely, that we have yet no great, 
 long poem ; no big book of American metre, and that there is 
 now a want of it ; is only -to herald a manuscript volume of his, 
 in some nineteen 'books,' which he has just been obliged to send 
 to London, because the publishers on this side of the water can 
 not see its merits. It has been shown about very generally, and 
 we learn, is similar to Emmons' Fredoniad ; only of greater 
 length. It is y'clept ' The Antediluvians ;' and we venture to 
 say, if any hapless London bookseller is seduced into its publi- 
 cation, that the first copy which reaches America will be lauded 
 in a certain quarter, under the author's immediate supervision, 
 as a work ' unparalled, unpaired,' equal to Klopstock or Milton 
 in sublimity, superior to Pope in harmony, and a touch beyond 
 anything ever produced in the United States, for ' sweetness, 
 tenderness, and simplicity !' We wait patiently for its coming. 
 
 NOTE. THE effect of this article was a decided one. It put an end, from that 
 time forth, to the literary career of the writer whose productions it exposed. The 
 work here referred to was subsequently published in London by the author, but it 
 dropped still-born from the press. CHRISTOPHER NORTH, indeed, revived a copy 
 of it for a sort of galvanic experiment in criticism, which established an elec- 
 trical ' communication' with the risible nerves of his fifty thousand readers. The 
 critique commenced, if we rightly remember, with these flattering words : ' To 
 compare these two volumes with a couple of bottles of small beer, would be greatly 
 to belie that fluid !' EDITOK. 
 
 19
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 
 
 WHEN the sober and mellow days of Autumn are passing by 
 me with a melancholy smile, I love to go back upon the pinions 
 of memory, to the scenes and enjoyments of other years. I 
 joy to retrace my footsteps along the journey of life ; to call up 
 in long review the sunny scenes that flitted from my vision, like 
 the gay but withered leaves of the departed Summer, which I 
 now behold from my window, floating with a low and mournful 
 whisper on the breeze. I love to call old friends and old events 
 to mind ; to linger in thought by the low mansions of dust, in 
 which are dwelling in silent repose the forms I have loved, wait- 
 ing to awake at the resurrection, in the light of immortality and 
 the likeness of GOD. I gaze again, as from some lofty eminence, 
 upon those glorious realms of my early imagination, once peo- 
 pled with forms and scenes of surpassing beauty, and redolent 
 of the sweet odors of delight. Such are my thoughts at this 
 calm and solemn season. The chilling influences which are 
 usually allotted by men to the octogenarian, are not with me. 
 This Sabbath of the Year descends upon me like some holy and 
 heavenly spirit, with gentle voices, and on dove-like wings ; un- 
 til, as I repaint the faded pictures of the past, with the magic 
 dyes of fancy and of memory, I gaze again upon them with a 
 feeling of honest and refreshing rapture, or a not unpleasing sad- 
 ness. Age, unlike the Idleness of the great moralist, has not 
 yet wreathed for me its garland of poppies, or poured into my 
 cup the waters of oblivion. I renew, in thought and feeling, the 
 joys and the sorrows of by-gone times. A holy tenderness 
 creeps warmly into my heart ; and as I approach the great gate 
 which opens from time into eternity, I turn to survey the vistas 
 through which my wayfaring has lain, as the traveller pauses at 
 sun-set to look back in the waning light upon the dim and distant 
 landscape that he has traversed. 
 
 This comparison of life to a journey, reminds me how pleasant 
 it is to overlook the records of modern pilgrims, in Pays d* Outre 
 Mer. I compare what they see, with what I have seen on the 
 same extended theatre, in times long past ; ere yet the school- 
 master was abroad, as now ; when Johnson thundered his pomp- 
 ous anathemas against American independence ; when Pitt and 
 Burke wielded their tremendous eloquence in the popular assem- 
 bly, and ' France got drunk with blood to vomit crime.' Those 
 were days of interest ; of deep, stern, and awful import ; and
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 291 
 
 I witnessed them as they passed, on the very arena from which 
 they borrowed their glory and their gloom. I have seen the fatal 
 axe descend upon the heads of a Marie Antoinette and a Louis 
 Capet; I have f witnessed the tumults of a revolution, the thou- 
 sand excitements of political life in a departed age ; and as at ' a 
 theatre or scene,' have beheld those great actors play their parts 
 in the vast drama of existence, who are now quietly reposing, 
 some in tombs of honor, and others in vaults of infamy. My 
 youth was spent abroad, at a period when every object was to me 
 new and impressive ; when the contrasts between the new world 
 and the old were large and various ; and when my country, then 
 glimmering like a faint star in the West, had scarcely began to 
 clothe herself in that meridian brightness wherewith she is now 
 invested. 
 
 I passed the best portions of my early manhood in France 
 and England. This foreign sojourn was in days lang, lang syne ; 
 and no one can tell the enthusiasm which filled to overflowing 
 my truly American bosom, as I heard, by slow and uncertain ar- 
 rivals, how the current of free principles was rolling onward in 
 my native land. I used daily to read, with stormy indignation, 
 those journals which teemed with obloquy upon the * Rebels' of 
 the New World, even after the war-cloud had ceased to ' muffle 
 up the sun' of liberty. In all things I was, from principle, pro- 
 fession, education, and habit, an uncompromising republican. In 
 the best sense of the word, thank Heaven ! I am so still. 
 
 As I cast my eye backward over that period in my humble 
 history, and the scenes it embraced, I bethink me of the great 
 truth in the words of the wise man of Jerusalem : ' The thing 
 that hath been, is that which shall be ; and that which is done, 
 is that which shall be done ; there is nothing new under the sun.' 
 ' The principal causes of common events in our country at pres- 
 ent, are much like those of Europe then ; there were mobs and 
 murders, and desperate adventures among the debased and the 
 passion-led ; but among the majority of the people there was 
 paramount a sincere respect or reverence for the laws. 
 
 But the affections and frailties of mortals alike impress all 
 ages. ' Nature is nature,' says some profound ' saw'-yer, and 
 its attributes, at one period or another, are always the same. 1 
 have seen offenders against the laws lay down their lives at home 
 and abroad ; I have heard the shouts of infuriated multitudes on 
 hoth sides of the Atlantic ; and I have drawn from all a mean- 
 ing and a moral, of which the principal is this : that while in our 
 own country there exist no external excuses for crime, it is often 
 in Europe the dire result of positive, unescapeable compulsion.
 
 292 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 When I say this, I speak of course of those crimes which are 
 begotten of Indigence and Ignorance; crimes which may as it 
 were be naturally looked for in a population like that of the 
 great capital of England, where it is asserted that sixty thousand 
 unfortunate persons arise every morning, from hap-hazard lodg- 
 ings in by-places, without a morsel of bread for their lips, or a 
 place to lay their hapless forms when the evening draws nigh. 
 
 The first execution that I ever witnessed, was in London. I 
 was also, by accident, a spectator of the dreadful deed which 
 brought the wretched criminal to the gallows. I proceed to give 
 a description of both the culprit and his act ; of the causes which 
 made him the former, and brought about the latter. All the 
 scenes of this extraordinary and romantic catastrophe arise to my 
 mind as vividly as if they had happened but yesterday. 
 
 On the evening of the seventh of April, 1779, I left my lodg- 
 ings in the Strand, at an early hour, for Covent Garden Theatre. 
 The house was filling as I sought my box. The play was Love 
 in a Village, and the cast for the night embraced some of the 
 then most popular performers of the day. There was a contin- 
 ual influx of beauty and fashion, until the dress circles assumed 
 an appearance of absolute splendor. Plumes waved ; jewelled 
 hands lifted the golden-bound glass to the voluptuous eye; and 
 all the pomp and circumstance of a brilliant auditory garnished 
 the scene. One * taken' box still remained without its occu- 
 pants ; but at the close of the first act, they entered. A middle- 
 aged, but fine-featured and cheerful-looking gentleman, with an 
 Irish physiognomy, handed into her place a lady of such sur- 
 passing loveliness, that, the first glance being taken, I could 
 scarcely withdraw from her the patronage of my eye. She was 
 dressed in the magnificent fashion of the time ; her hair parting 
 off from her temples and forehead like a wave, and falling in two 
 large masses on either side of her polished neck. Her brow 
 was high and clear ; her eyes of heaven's own azure ; her nose 
 had the fair lines and nostril curve of Greece ; her cheeks and 
 chin softly dimpled, and her ruby lips wearing ' a smile, the 
 sweetest that ever was seen.' The dazzling creature took her 
 place, and adjusted her scarf with inimitable gracefulness. Her 
 dress, I well remember, was in the height of taste ; the white 
 lace ruifles of her short sleeves terminating at the elbows, and 
 showing the perfect symmetry of her hand and arm, as she plied 
 her pretty fan, or peered through her glass at the Pride of the 
 .Village. I was quite overcome with admiration. 
 * Pray who can that be ?' said I to a friend. 
 What a question !' was the reply. ' How ignorant you are !
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 293 
 
 ' Not to know her, argues yourself unknown.' That is the splen- 
 did Miss REAY, the fair friend of Lord Sandwich, who is her 
 protector. He has given her the protection that vultures give to 
 lambs. She has borne him two or three lovely, cherub-like chil- 
 dren. He is twice her senior in years, has robbed her of her 
 best treasure, and it is strongly whispered that she loves him not. 
 When in public, as at present, she usually appears without him.' 
 
 I did not prolong my inquiries, for the lady herself attracted 
 my sole attention, to the utter disregard of the play. As I was 
 gazing in that direction, I saw a person standing at the door of a 
 box near by, whom at the first glance I took for a maniac. His 
 eyes glared with unsettled wildness ; his face was pale as death, 
 and the damp hair hung in heavy threads over his forehead. He 
 was looking at Miss Reay with an expression in which love and 
 hate seemed struggling for empire. He was well-sized, hand- 
 some, and of goodly presence. He was dressed in black. I 
 never beheld a countenance in which so much mental excitement 
 was depicted. His livid lips moved as if in a kind of prayer : 
 lie would sometimes press his hand against his forehead or his 
 heart ; and finally, after a long and lingering look at the lady I 
 have mentioned, raised his handkerchief hurriedly to his eyes, 
 and disappeared. 
 
 I never remember to have passed an evening in such perfect 
 abstraction as this. The intoxication of beauty overpowered 
 me ; and so rapt had been my attention, that I scarcely knew 
 when the play was over. I hurried out, as soon as the curtain 
 fell, and stepping to the Piazzas, waited to see the fair creature 
 enter her carriage. She passed by me, with her attendant, his 
 epaulettes glittering in the lamp-light. A kind of enchantment 
 possessed me, and a foreboding that some doleful disaster was 
 about to happen. I was moving onward, and stood within a few 
 feet of the lady, when I heard the loud and stunning report of a 
 heavily-charged pistol. Another followed, and shrieks and 
 groans resounded along the arches. I rushed toward the spot 
 whence the deadly sounds proceeded, and found the brilliant 
 being whom I have described, weltering in her blood. The ball 
 had entered her fair forehead, and her vestments were deluged 
 with gore. The sight was horrid beyond description. She was 
 perfectly dead. I penetrated the crowd that had surrounded the 
 murderer. It was the same person whom I had noticed in the 
 theatre, and whose looks were so desperate. His face was white 
 as snow ; his eyes dilated, and his lips compressed ; but his de- 
 meanor evinced a kind of peaceful tranquillity, or dead stupor ; 
 the awful calm that follows a tempest of passion. The blood,
 
 294 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 and even portions of the brain of his victim were on his sleeve. 
 Never shall I forget the terror of that scene ! He had attempted 
 immediately after killing Miss Reay to destroy his own life ; but 
 his murderous weapon failed in its effect, and he stood mute 
 before the multitude, a personification of immoveable Horror. 
 
 I returned to my lodgings, but sleep fled from my eye-lids. 
 The excitement of fixed attention during the evening, and the 
 awful catastrophe I had witnessed, left me in a state of dread, 
 and nervous feeling. If I slumbered, my slumbers were not 
 sleep, but a continuance of melancholy scenes and impressions. 
 Sometimes I fancied myself the murderer, flying from the sword 
 of justice to my own place of abode, and seeking relief upon 
 my pillow. It seemed in vain ; for methought, 
 
 That Guilt was the grim chamberlain 
 
 Who lighted me to bed, 
 And drew my midnight curtains round, 
 
 With fingers bloody red ! 
 
 The next day, all the events which led to the deplorable 
 deed I had witnessed, were brought to light, The murderer 
 was a young clergyman named James Hackman. He was for- 
 merly an officer in one of the British regiments ; and being in- 
 vited on one occasion to dine with Lord Sandwich at Hichin- 
 brook House, he met Miss Reay, and soon became so despe- 
 rately enamoured of her as to weaken his health. He finally, 
 more probably for the purpose of being near the object of his 
 love, than for any other cause, left the army, took holy orders, 
 and obtained the living of Wiverton in Norfolk. 
 
 Perhaps a more affecting and melancholy termination of un- 
 lawful love never occurred than this. Miss Reay had little or no 
 affection for the nobleman who had so foully wronged her ; and 
 the first object of her passion was undoubtedly the young military 
 clergyman. In the course of time he completely won her heart, 
 and alienated her regard, if any she had, entirely from her first 
 lord. A series of letters passed between them for several years, 
 printed copies of which are now before me, and some of which, 
 or extracts from them, it may not be improper to give. He ul- 
 timately removed to Ireland ; and on his return found the heart 
 of his versatile mistress changed forever, and in favor of a third 
 admirer. While, however, in the mutual ' tempest, torrent, and 
 I may say, whirlwind of their passion,' while he was in the con- 
 stant course of dishonoring the man whose hospitality he had so 
 often enjoyed, (if dishonor it may be called under the circum- 
 stances,) the epistles which the parties addressed to each other 
 breathe the very soul of feeling. Never, perhaps, was there a
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 295 
 
 more awful exemplification, than in the case of these short-lived 
 lovers, of the truth of Shakspeare's lines : 
 
 ' These violent delights have violent ends, 
 And in their sweetness die.' 
 
 'Huntingdon, 8tli Dec., 1775. 
 
 ' To Miss . Then I release my dear soul from her promise about to- 
 day. If you do not see that all which he can claim by gratitude, I doubly 
 claim by love, I have done, forever. I would purchase my happiness at any 
 price but at the expense of yours. Look over my letters, think over my 
 conduct, consult your own heart, read these two long letters of your own 
 writing, which I return you. Then tell me whether we love or not. And 
 if we love (as witness both our hearts), shall gratitude, cold gratitude, bear 
 away the prize that's due to love like ours ? Shall my right be acknowl- 
 edged, and he possess the casket ? Shall I have your soul, and he your 
 hand, your lips, your eyes ? 
 
 ' Gracious God of Love ! I can neither write nor think. Send one line, 
 half a line, to 
 
 ' Your own, own H. 1 
 
 This impassioned letter, with others previously sent, induced 
 the following reply : 
 
 'H. 10th Dec., '75. 
 
 'To MR. H . Your two letters of the day before yesterday, and 
 
 what you said to me yesterday, have drove me mad. You know how such 
 tenderness distracts me. As to marrying me, that you should not do upon 
 any account. Shall the man I value, be pointed at and hooted for selling 
 himself to a lord for a commission ? * * * My soul is above my situ- 
 ation. Beside, I will not take advantage of what may be only, perhaps, 
 {excuse me), a youthful passion. After a more intimate acquaintance of 
 a week or ten days, your opinion of me might very much change. And 
 yet you may love me as sincerely as I 
 
 But I will transcribe you a verse which I don't believe you ever heard 
 me sing, though it's my favorite. It is said to be a part of an old Scottish 
 ballad nor is it generally believed that Lady L. wrote it. It is so descrip- 
 tive of our situation, I wept over it like a child, yesterday : 
 
 ' I gang like a ghost, and I do not care to spin, 
 I fain would think on Jamie, but that would be a sin ; 
 I must e'en do my best a good wife to be, 
 For auld Robin Gray has been kind to me.' 
 
 ' For God's sake let me see my Jamie to-morrow. Your name also is 
 Jamie.' 
 
 It would of course be useless for me to follow up these epis- 
 tolary details of passion and crime. At my present age, when 
 ' the hey-day of the blood is cool and humble, and waits upon 
 the judgment,' I look upon them as the confessions of two minds 
 alienated from reason by temporary madness. Three days after 
 the date of the foregoing, the reverend lover wrote thus : 
 
 'Huntingdon, 13th Dec., 75. 
 To Miss My Lif and Soul! But I will never more use any
 
 296 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 more preface of this sort, and I beg you will not. A correspondence begins 
 with dear, then my dear, dearest, ray dearest, and so on, till, at last, panting 
 language toils after us in vain. 
 
 'No language can explain my feelings. Oh, yesterday, yesterday ! Lan- 
 guage thou liest! Oh, thou beyond my warmest dreams bewitching ! Are 
 6u not now convinced that Heaven made us for each other ? * * * 
 ave I written sense ? I know not what I write. 
 
 ' Misfortune, I defy thee now! M. loves me, and my soul has its content 
 most absolute. No other joy like this succeeds in unknown fate.' 
 
 To say that the whole correspondence is marked on both sides 
 with good taste, often with learning, and always with enthusiastic 
 but guilty tenderness, is but justice to the memory of the parties. 
 In one of his letters, Hackman quotes the following among other 
 stanzas, entitled, ' The moans of the forest after the battle of 
 Flodden Field :' 
 
 ' I have heard a lilting at the ewes' milking, 
 A' the lasses lilting before break of day ; 
 But now there's a moaning in ilka green loning, 
 Since the flowers of the forest are weeded away. 
 
 At bughts in the morning, nae bly the lads are scorning, 
 
 Our lasses are lonely, and dowie, and wae ; 
 Nae daffing, nae gab bin, but sighing and sobbing, - 
 
 Ilka lass lifts her leglin, and hies her away/ 
 
 During the lover's sojourn in Ireland, he wrote to his mistress, 
 and in doing so, spoke unwittingly of pleasant female acquaint- 
 ances that he had formed in that kingdom. This, I have reason 
 to believe, was the first impulse to her estrangement. Her pre- 
 vious letters to him had been overflowing with affectionate senti- 
 ments. In one of them, speaking of her devotion, she says, ' I 
 could die, cheerfully, by your hand, I know I could.' The let- 
 ter to which I have just alluded, however, provoked the following 
 
 reply : 
 
 'England, 25th June, 1776. 
 
 ' To MR. . Let me give you joy of having found such kind and 
 
 agreeable friends in a strange land. The account you gave me of the lady 
 quite charmed me. Neither am / without my friends. A lady from whom 
 I have received particular favors, is uncommonly kind to me. For the 
 credit of your side of the water, she is an Irish woman. Her agreeable 
 husband, by his beauty and accomplishments, does credit to this country. 
 He is remarkable also for his feelings. 
 
 ' Adieu ! This will affect you, I dare say, in the same manner that your 
 account affected me.' , 
 
 This letter, with others that followed it, soon brought Mr. 
 Hackman to London. He Iddged, on his return, in Cannon's 
 Court, and addressed an immediate letter to his mistress. The 
 answer returned, purported to come from a female servant, wri- 
 ting by the sick bed of her lady, and at her dictation. The
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 297 
 
 epistle was humbly written, and filled with prevarications and 
 cold compliments. By degrees, the melancholy truth of the 
 lady's estrangement was established. Proof of the most positive 
 description was furnished. It drove the lover to despair, and he 
 resolved upon self-destruction. Information having been com- 
 municated to him at his parsonage in Norfolk, (whither before 
 the full proof of his suspicions he had retired,) calculated to 
 awaken every dark surmise, he hastened to London, where 
 everything was confirmed. In his first tumultuous resolve for 
 self murder, he expressed his fears in a letter to a friend, as 
 follows : ' My passions are blood-hounds, and will inevitably tear 
 me to pieces. The hand of nature has heaped up every species 
 of combustible in my bosom. The torch of love has set the 
 heap on fire, and I must perish in the flames. And who is he 
 will answer for passions such as mine ? At present, I am inno- 
 cent.' His last letter before committing the deed for which he 
 suffered an ignominious death, was addressed to a friend, and 
 couched in the following terms : 
 
 '7th April, 1779. 
 
 To Mr. B. My Dear F . When this reaches you I shall be no 
 
 more, but do not let my unhappy fate distress you too much. I strore 
 against it as long as possible, but now it overpowers me. You know where 
 my affections were placed ; my having by some means or other lost hers, 
 (an idea which I could not support,) has driven me to madness. God bless 
 
 you, my dear F . Would I had a sum of money to leave you to con- 
 
 Tince you of my great regard ! May Heaven protect my beloved woman, 
 and forgive the act which alone could relieve me from a world of misery I 
 have long endured ! Oh ! should it be in your power to do her any act of 
 friendship, remember your faithful friend, J. H.' 
 
 In the afternoon of the day on which the preceding letter was 
 written, Mr. Hackman took a walk to the Admiralty, from his 
 lodgings in St. Martin's Lane, probably to take a last view of 
 worldly objects, ere he plunged into the great gulf of Eternity. 
 Near the Admiralty, he saw Miss Reay pass in a coach, with 
 Signora Galli, an attendant. He rushed into the theatre, in the 
 desperate condition I have before described ; and unable to con- 
 trol his thick-coming and bitter thoughts, returned to his lodgings, 
 where he procured and loaded the pistols, with one of which he 
 committed his dreadful crime. In his attempt to kill himself af- 
 ter Miss Reay, he was severely wounded. Mr. M'Namara, a 
 gentleman who was assisting the lady into the coach, was so 
 covered with blood, and filled with horror, that he was seized 
 with violent sickness. The mangled remains of the ' Beauty 
 once admired,' were conveyed to the Shakspeare tavern, near 
 the theatre, to await the coroner's inquest.
 
 298 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 The unhappy clergyman was conveyed to Newgate, whence 
 he addressed the ensuing note to a friend : 
 
 4 9tk April, 1779. 
 
 1 To CHARLES , Esq. I am alive, and she is dead. I shot her and 
 
 not myself. Some of her blood is still upon my clothes. I dont ask you 
 to speak to me. 1 don't ask you to look at 'me. Only come hither, and 
 bring me a little poison ; such as is strong enough. Upon my knees I beg, 
 if your friendship for me ever was sincere, do, DO bring me sonic poison ." 
 
 This was not furnished him, and his trial soon came on. I 
 was present. The prisoner sat with his white handkerchief at his 
 <jheek, his head resting languidly on his hand. His face wore 
 the gloomy pallor of the grave. The plea of insanity, put in by 
 his counsel, did not avail. When he rose to offer his defence, 
 many an eye glistened with the tears of pity. His words, hollow 
 and sepulchral in their sound, seemed to come forth without 
 breath from his livid lips ; while a large dark spot on his 
 forehead seemed like a supernatural seal of ruin. His defence 
 was brief, clear, and pointed. In the course of it he said : * I 
 stand here this day the most wretched of human beings ; but I 
 protest, with that regard to truth which becomes my situation, 
 that the will to destroy her who was ever dearer to me than life, 
 was never mine, until a momentary phrensy overcame me, and led 
 me to the deed I now deplore. Before this dreadful act, I 
 trust nothing will be found in the tenor of my life, which the 
 common charity of mankind will not excuse. I have no wish 
 to avoid my punishment.' This state of mind prevailed to the 
 last. He hungered and thirsted for death. Lord Sandwich ad- 
 dressed him anonymously, the note subjoined, to which I annex 
 the reply : 
 
 17* April, '79. 
 
 4 To Mr. HACKMAN, in Newgate : If the murderer of JVIiss wishes 
 
 to live, the man he has most injured will use all his interest to procure his 
 life.' 
 
 'The Condemned Cell in Newgate, ) 
 Saturday Night, 17th April, 1779. $ 
 
 4 THE murderer of her whom he preferred, far preferred, to life, suspects 
 the hand from which he has just received such an offer as he neither desires 
 nor deserves. His wishes are for death, not for life. One wish he has : 
 Could he be pardoned in this world by the man he has most injured ! Oh 
 my lord, when I meet her in another world, enable me to tell her, (if de- 
 parted spirits are not ignorant of earthly things,) that you forgive us both, 
 and that you will be a father to her dear infants ! J. II.' 
 
 The rest of his time was passed in a state of mind almost too 
 horrible to relate. Among his writings, were such records as 
 these : ' Since I wrote my last, I caught myself marching up and 
 down my cell, with the step of haughtiness ; hugging myself in 
 my two arms ; and muttering between my grating teeth, What a
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 299 
 
 complete urretch I am/' ' The clock has just struck eleven. 
 The gloominess of my favorite Young's Night Thoughts, which 
 was always so congenial to my soul, would have been still 
 heightened, had he ever been wretched enough to hear St. Paul's 
 clock thunder through the still ear of night, in the condemned 
 cells of Newgate. The sound is truly solemn it seems the 
 sound of death. Oh that it were Death's sound ! How greed- 
 ily would my impatient ears devour it! And yet, but one day 
 more. Perturbed spirit ! rest till then !' 
 
 His dreams were tumultuous and dismal. In one vision, he 
 saw himself in perdition, and having a distant view of Heaven, 
 beheld his adored mistress walking with angels, and looking down 
 with a look of peace and joy upon his miseries. She did not 
 seem to know of them. ' I could not go to her, nor could she 
 come to me: nor did she wish it there was the curse! Oh, 
 how I rejoiced, how I wept and sobbed with joy, when I awoke 
 and found myself in the condemned cell of Newgate /' 
 
 HE met his fate at the scaffold with the firmness of despair. 
 Only two or three years before, the criminal had attended the 
 execution of the celebrated Dr. Dodd. I employ his very de- 
 scription of that scene, as a complete simile of that which attend- 
 ed his own death, as witnessed by me ; and with it, close the 
 melancholy tale. ' At last arrived the fatal moment. The dri- 
 ving away of the cart was accompanied by a noise which best 
 explained the feelings of the spectators for the sufferer. Did 
 you never observe, at the sight or the relation of anything shock- 
 ing, that you closed your teeth hard, and drew in your breath 
 hard through them, to make a sort of hissing sound ? This was 
 done so universally at the fatal moment, that I am persuaded the 
 noise must have been heard at a considerable distance. For my 
 own part, I detected myself, in a certain manner, accompanying 
 his body with my own.' 
 
 ' His agony was soon over, and his cold form conveyed to its 
 last couch of silence and oblivion.' 
 
 WE have been much alarmed of late, by the mobs and dis- 
 turbances which have prevailed in some quarters of our Repub- 
 lic but we have never yet experienced anything half so terrific 
 as the mobs of Europe. The Bristol Riots, and the Evenne- 
 mens de Lyons, must be fresh in all minds ; while some of the 
 more remote riots in the British capital stand out like pyramids 
 from the general level of ordinary madness and crime. It was 
 my hap to see the Great London Riot of 1780, for the instiga- 
 tion of which Lord George Gordon was tried for high treason,
 
 300 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 and left, though acquitted, with a stain upon his name. He was 
 the champion of a numerous class of the lower order of Protes- 
 tants, who held large meetings in various parts of the metropolis, 
 and sent heavy petitions to Parliament, praying for enactments 
 against Catholicity. One of these documents, signed by many 
 thousands, which was presented by Lord Gordon, was so large 
 that it required the united strength of all the officers of the 
 House to lift it into the presence of that noble Legislature. 
 Though every signature was genuine, they were declared to be 
 fictitious, and the petition was treated with contempt. Incensed 
 at this imputation, Lord Gordon vowed that he would convince 
 Parliament of its error, by bringing up the petitioners in propria 
 persona, before their representatives and servants. 
 
 He kept his vow ; and at ten o'clock on the next Friday morn- 
 ing, several thousands of his petition-signers assembled in St. 
 George's Fields, where the noble Lord met them, as a Roman 
 general would hare done his legions. He directed them to pro- 
 ceed to the Parliament House, over the Westminster, Blackfri- 
 ar's, and London Bridges. Before this great multitude had 
 reached their place of destination, it had doubled its numbers and 
 become a mob. Lords, bishops, and archbishops, were made 
 objects of popular fury ; cries of ' No Popery !' rang through 
 the dusky streets ; carriages were upset, and their occupants 
 obliged to escape from the melee, and glide in disguise from roof 
 to roof, to which they ascended from dwellings where they sought 
 refuge. 
 
 This day was but the beginning of tumult. Like an half- 
 cured ulcer on the human form, the riots, when suppressed in 
 one quarter of the town, would break forth in others. Saturday 
 and Sunday witnessed the most dreadful excesses. Indeed, the 
 mob was quite uncontrollable, and yet the horrid Saturnalia had 
 but just begun. The rioters convened in immense force on Mon- 
 day, the anniversary of the king's birth-day. Efforts had been 
 made, but ineffectually, to suppress them ; large rewards were 
 offered for the apprehension of the ring-leaders among the law- 
 less bands, who had burned several Catholic chapels, in different 
 sections of the capital. A few offenders were secured, but the 
 flame was spreading, and the great body of miscreants rioted on. 
 
 The events of Tuesday were dreadful. The mob made a 
 desperate attack upon the Newgate prison, mounting in swarms 
 over the walls, and besieging the cells, (where a few riotous prin- 
 cipals were confined,) with pick-axes and hammers. The chapel, 
 and the house of the keeper, were soon destroyed. This oc- 
 curred between six and nine o'clock in the evening. The loud 
 alarms and rising flames drew me to the spot. The fire had
 
 AN OLD MAN'S RECORDS. 301 
 
 then communicated to the wards and cells, from which the af- 
 frighted prisoners rushed into the yard, where many of them 
 were supplied with liquor by the mobocracy, and went yelling 
 and shouting around their enlarged boundary of exercise, with 
 the fury of uncaged tigers. Many who were under sentence of 
 death were among the liberated prisoners. The new prison at 
 Clerkenwell was also stormed and broken open, and all the in- 
 mates set free. Many of them, grateful for their sudden and un- 
 expected discharge, entered heartily into the cause of those who 
 had played for them the part of liberators. They next destroyed 
 the mansions and furniture of Sir John Fielding, and Lord 
 Mansfield ; pictures, libraries, wines, and splendid furniture, 
 might have been seen, strewed in all directions, and clutched by 
 the crowd. 
 
 Thus waged the horrid war. The next day witnessed only 
 the increase of a lawless power, which seemed destined to know 
 no future abatement. The establishment of a private citizen, a 
 distiller in Holborn, a papist, Langdale by name, was attacked 
 and fired. Then ensued a scene, such as pen can not describe. 
 Five hundred thousand dollars' worth of property was destroyed 
 in a space of time so short, that it seemed as if the whole had 
 perished in a tornado of fire. 
 
 The spectacle at twilight was awful and sublime. At one and 
 the same moment the billowy clouds of flame were seen surging 
 upward from the King's Bench and the Fleet Prisons : from the 
 ponderous toll-gates on Blackfriar's Bridge ; from the new 
 Bridewell, and from dwellings in different sections all over the 
 metropolis. With a few friends who had purchased admission, 
 I surveyed the terrific scene from the cupola of St. Paul's. The 
 crowds that ran howling through the streets ; the occasional 
 thunder of artillery ; the spires of blazing light darting up on all 
 sides, occasionally revealing the red waters of the Thames, and 
 the sails like sheeted ghosts wavering along its bosom ; the tow- 
 ers and steeples innumerable, clothed in lurid light; the maniac 
 vociferations of numerous straggling parties of the mob, who 
 had come intoxicated from Langdale's distillery, where they 
 drank to excess, and where hundreds of hogsheads, emptied in 
 the gutters, were ignited by torches, and ran from street to street, 
 a tempestuous torrent of fire ; these were sights, that, once seen, 
 could not fail to be forever remembered. Words are powerless 
 to describe them. On Thursday they ceased. 
 
 We have had some violent mobs in America, but none like 
 this, wherein nearly five hundred persons, beside the numerous 
 victims of the law, perished together. Long may such sangui- 
 nary tempests be averted from our land !
 
 302 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 DESPERATION. 
 
 A TALE OF WO AND WEAL. 
 
 A GENTLEMAN, whose word, like his penmanship, is straight up and down, and de- 
 serving of credit, has sent us the following Tale, which has about it a touch of the 
 Germanic pencil. The discoverer of the narrative says he picked it up in Philadelphia, 
 as he turned from Chestnut- street into Ninth, near the University. It is evidently the 
 work of some young student, who is merely auto-biographical. His adventures, which 
 .seem to be described in a letter, are not without parallel, and certainly not without 
 warning. 
 
 THANK HEAVEN, my dear George, I have arrived at home, 
 after a fortnight's mad siege at the Great Metropolis. How cu- 
 riously inscrutable are the freaks of fortune ! Three weeks ago, 
 I could scarcely have met my tailor with a smile, or heard a 
 friend propose an extra bottle of Sillery at dinner, without feeling 
 in my bosom a void similar to that which reigned in my purse. 
 But I am bravely over all these unpleasant sensations. Impu- 
 dence and stratagem have set me superbly upon my legs. I 
 Jiave made the maxims of Jeremy Diddler my vade mecum : 
 and now, methinks, I could lend a clever chum any given amount 
 of shekels, within the circumscription of an X on the Monster. 
 I am flushed by success, and ' my countenance gives out lambent 
 glories.' Every thing needs a preface, and my good fellow, for 
 what is to come, these remarks serve only as a head. I will ad- 
 dress myself to my tale. 
 
 * Eugene Dallas,' said Tom Edwards to me, as we sat at Par- 
 kinson's, on a mild afternoon in December, discussing a delicious 
 punch, a la Romain, ' I have just been reading an article at the 
 Athenaeum, in a Washington paper, describing the society there ; 
 the beauty, the brilliancy, the life. It has made me sick of col- 
 lege and books, and the parties we meet here ; where the music 
 is but so-so, the ladies clannish, sometimes dull ; and where the 
 young men line the long halls of their entertainers from parlor to 
 kitchen, in order to besiege the first invoice of champaigne, un- 
 mindful of the fair, who, fatigued with moving in the dance, 
 await with Christian patience their allotment of ice-cream, oys- 
 ters, and chicken-salad. I say, I begin to tire of these things. 
 I should like to cut the town, ' clandecently,' for a fortnight or 
 so, and go to Washington. Wouldn't you ?' 
 
 THE next day, we were warming our feet by the stove in the 
 gentlemen's cabin of the steam-boat, and watching through the
 
 DESPERATION. 303 
 
 windows the receding shores of Chesapeake bay. With trunks 
 hastily packed, a confused wardrobe, and only thirty dollars be- 
 tween us, we had entered upon this hair-brained frolic. A hur- 
 ried letter to one of the Faculty announced that we should be 
 absent a week or two, and the inference instantly transpired over 
 town, that we had ' gone gunning at each other,' or in other 
 words, to fight a duel. 
 
 Baltimore is an agreeable place. The approach to the city is 
 picturesque ; the Cathedral and the Washington Monument rise 
 magnificently to the view ; the principal streets are elegant ; the 
 ladies petite and pretty. We staid there two days ; attended 
 one splendid soiree ; smelt the gas foot-lights at Holliday-street 
 Theatre, and then on for Washington. 
 
 The monumental city fades beautifully on the traveller's eye. 
 The noble statue of the Savior of his Country, towers, a white 
 and shining column in the sky ; a pharos of liberty, sending the 
 warm beams of patriotism into every American heart. Its tall 
 form dwindled, over the brown landscape, to a slender shaft 
 against a gay host of clouds, as we rolled toward the capitol. 
 
 How shall I describe the feelings which animate a young citi- 
 zen of this great republic, as he approaches the place where the 
 destinies of a confederacy of nations are controlled and guided ! 
 Throned on a lofty hill, he sees the domes of the capitol, colored 
 by the sunbeam, and shining amid the striped and starry banners 
 that roll out and rustle above them. A flood of historic associ- 
 ations pours upon his mind. He bethinks him of the surmount- 
 ed perils of the past, and the unrecorded glory of the future, 
 until his heart and his eyes are filled with emotion, and he rises 
 with enthusiasm from his carriage-seat, and waving his hat on 
 high, hurrahs for the land of the brave and the free ! 
 
 Beyond the capitol lies the city, covering ground enough for 
 half a dozen times its houses and inhabitants, yet no inapt em- 
 blem of the country itself; large in plan, and rapidly fulfilling its 
 scope, even beyond all original conjecture. 
 
 Drove to Gadsby's. Fine house. Good table d'hote, excel- 
 lent wines, and a talkative barber, who kills the English language, 
 speaking daggers to it, at every breath. Went to the capitol. 
 How proudly it rises at the end of the Pennsylvania Avenue ! 
 what views from its dome ! The gay and winding Potomac, 
 the outspread city ; Georgetown, Alexandria ; the gorge near 
 Mount Vernon, in the distance ; the solemn burial ground of 
 Congress nearer at hand ; the vast doings below and within ! It 
 is a great place, Washington.
 
 304 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 TOM EDWARDS had a senatorial uncle at Washington ; but 1 
 knew nobody, except a country member of the House from our 
 District. The chances of admission into society, therefore, were 
 good for him, but faint for me. The result of his relationship 
 was an almost immediate invitation for him, the next evening, to 
 
 a party at Sir * * 's, the Foreign Minister. There was 
 
 none for me ; but my wild chum vowed that I should go, on his 
 introduction, and I assented. 
 
 My first movement was to cast about for a blanchisseuse. This 
 was easily arranged. But my dismay can better be conceived 
 than described, when I found that I had left my best coat at 
 home, and brought away a cloth one, of summer-green, some- 
 what marked by the careless positions of study. It had an unc- 
 tuous collar, and buttons of disreputable antiquity, singularly 
 rubbed by the finger of Time. What was to be done ? I ob- 
 served from my window a tailor's sign ; and thither, after night- 
 fall, I hied. On the ' board,' like a Turk with his pipe and 
 slippers, was seated an old Frenchman, the master of the prem- 
 ises. I produced my garment, and desired to know what the 
 swindle would be for a new set of buttons, a professional reno- 
 vation of the sleeves, and a banishment of the oil from the col- 
 lar. I told him the habit was an indifferent one, but that if he 
 would make its amendment cost me only a trifle, he should re- 
 ceive all my future patronage, which I hinted would be pretty 
 extensive. The enterprise of the Gallic snip was awakened ; 
 and, ' promise-crammed,' he said : 
 
 ' You shall ax me tree dollar.' 
 
 ' Cheap enough,' said I, feeling conscious of my ability for 
 the outlay, with a present sufficiency beside, if Edwards made a 
 fair division : ' But mind, my friend, let the thing be nicely done ; 
 renew the youth of the garment, and let the buttons be yellow, 
 flashy, and fashionable.' 
 
 ' Certainment, Monsieur, 1 replied the complaisant artisan ; and 
 I took my leave. 
 
 THE brilliant apartments of Sir * * never looked more 
 
 brilliant, I am sure, than they did on the next evening after this 
 economical colloquy. Tom bowed me in, but by what species 
 of social smuggling, I am unable to tell. At any rate, in I was, el- 
 bowing my trembling way through a glittering, maze of beauty 
 and fashion, humming with small-talk, and shining in gorgeous 
 apparel. Supposing Edwards at my side, I turned my head to 
 address him. The fellow had gone. It was indispensable to seek 
 him ; and, ' all unknowing and unknown,' I attempted an awkward
 
 DESPERATION. 
 
 retrogression for the purpose. At that instant, I saw him bowing 
 to a splendid young creature of about sixteen : at the next, they 
 were standing together in a cotillon. I edged my way thither, 
 and gave him a supplicating look, which said, ' Do, my good fel- 
 low, introduce me to somebody.' The mischievous wretch 
 glanced at me, with an eye whose oblique winter I shall never 
 forget. He cut me dead ! He had a malicious smirk on his 
 phiz, which expressed the meditated deviltry that was working in 
 his mind. My pride was roused, and I was determined to show 
 him my independence of his protection. Fortunately, I saw 
 close at hand, a young gentleman, with whom I had formed a 
 slight dinner-table acquaintance at Gadsby's. I am not ungenteel ; 
 the blood of wounded pride was in my cheek, its fire was in my 
 eyes ; and as to dress, thanks to the felicitous metamorphosis of 
 the old tailor, my coat was handsomer than ever. My other ap- 
 pointments were unexceptionable. I tied a good neckcloth ; my 
 buttons shone lustrously, and my linen was fair as the broidered 
 sails of Tyre. Never did I look more like a gallant, comme il 
 faut. My mere presence at the party established a claim to my 
 new friend's attention ; so, stepping up to him, I bowed obse- 
 quiously, and said : ' Do you know that beautiful young lady 
 yonder, whom you are regarding with such devoted attention ?' 
 'No,' said he politely; 'by Jove, I wish 1 did!' I touched his 
 arm, and insinuated a white lie into his ear. ' You shall know 
 her. I can effect that for you. But first, let me beg you to ac- 
 quaint me with the lady to whom I saw you just now so courte- 
 ous and cordial.' 
 
 * Certainly,' was the answer ; and it was done. 
 
 I flourished like a prince for the remainder of the evening j 
 and through the diplomacy of my first fair partner in the dance, 
 was enabled to perform my promise to my friend, being first in- 
 troduced myself. The strategic of that night could not be sur- 
 passed. I flirted with bevies of beauty ; and while walking in a 
 general march through the rooms, with the gay daughters of two 
 certain Secretaries in the Department, Tom Edwards passed me: 
 ' Huge,'' said he, (this was his abbreviation for Eugene,) ' you are 
 well supported, eh? Army and Navy !' 
 
 ' Sir !' I replied, staring at him, ' who are you ? You are 
 mistaken.' Tom quailed away, looking daggers at me, which I 
 forgot in a moment. The excitement of wine, the glitter of 
 lights, the sweet gushes of music, thrilled through my nerves ; 
 while, amid the rich odors of scented kid gloves and 'kerchiefs, 
 * the rustling of silks and the creaking of shoes betrayed my fond 
 heart to woman.' It was an evening, to my apprehension, that 
 
 20
 
 306 PEOSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 might have been stolen, with all its dramatis personae of the 
 opposite sex, fresh from Paradise. 
 
 As the visitors began to lessen, I saw afar the country member 
 from our District. He was obviously out of his element. He 
 moved like a bear among young chickens. His white cravat, 
 which was tied behind his neck, where the ends projected among 
 his lank and tallowy locks, awakened a doubt whether it was in 
 use for ornament or strangulation. Had it been a thought tight- 
 er, that necessary vessel called the jugular would have been a 
 useless conduit. His face was like to the setting sun, in an In- 
 dian summer. He was making toward me, with his broad hands 
 spread on his black tabby-velvet vest, his thumbs inserted in the 
 arm-holes ; whereupon I decamped, for fear of an interview. 
 
 I took my breakfast the next day at five o'clock, p. M. In 
 my room, I found a note to my address, in Tom's chirography. 
 It discoursed to me thus : 
 
 Gadsby's, 9 o'clock, A. M. 
 DEAR HUGE : 
 
 I AM gone to spend a fortnight, in a Christmas festival, with 
 some friends in Virginia. I enclose a regular division of our 
 joint funds. I have spoken to my uncle about our hotel bills 
 here, and he will fix them. It is all understood. You can stay 
 a fortnight if you like ; though how you'll get back to Philadel- 
 phia, after that, the Lord only knows. Perhaps you may ac- 
 complish the transit without trouble : if so, I shall be, (as I was 
 last night, when I thought I knew you,) mistaken. 
 
 Yours ' TOM. 
 
 Here was a pretty business ! He had enclosed me Jive dol- 
 lars! In my perplexity, I was on the point of descending to 
 book myself to Baltimore, when I remembered that I had re- 
 ceived two verbal invitations to parties, early in the ensuing 
 week, and one from my fair first acquaintance of the preceding 
 evening, to accompany her to church on the morrow, which was 
 Sunday, and hear her favorite parson ' bray canticles.' 
 
 There was no alternative. I must stay a week ; and stay I 
 did. My five dwindled to three. I had glorious times in society, 
 but when I thought of my breeches pocket my suspense was ac- 
 tually horrid. Could some stout pugilist have knocked me into 
 the middle of the next month, I should have blessed the trans- 
 portation. The future seemed a blank, and Philadelphia as in- 
 accesible as Jerusalem.
 
 
 DESPERATION. 307 
 
 * ALL settled, Sir,' said the bar-keeper, as I asked him the 
 amount of my bill. I forgave Tom on the instant. I had feared, 
 for a week, that it would all be a trick, though I dared not ask. 
 
 ' What is the fare to Baltimore, in a private carriage ?' 
 
 * Five dollars, Sir ; but here is a barouche, about to leave 
 with some passengers, in which you may have a seat for three.* 
 
 I paid out the last cash of which I stood possessed, and seeing 
 my trunk properly lashed, embarked. After taking a final look 
 at the city and the Capitol, as we rolled away from the metropo- 
 lis, I was in an unbroken reverie, till the domes and pillars of 
 Baltimore rose again to view. We wheeled on, until by the in- 
 creased rattling, I found we were on the city pavements. 
 
 'At what hotel shall I set you down, Sir?' said the driver, 
 touching his hat. 
 
 I was in a quandary ; and so I answered his question by ask- 
 ing another. ' Do you know any quiet and fashionable, but re- 
 tired hotel, near the centre of the town ?' 
 
 ' Oh, yes, Sir ;' and he deposited me accordingly. 
 
 I did not put my name on any book, but was shown directly 
 to my room. It was a pleasant one, commanding a distant view 
 of the Great Square and Battle Monument. Here I staid three 
 days ; eating my meals stealthily, and being out nearly all the 
 time. On the afternoon of the third day, I resolved to disclose 
 my condition ; and to nerve myself for the effort, I ordered din- 
 ner and wine in my room. I determined if a splendid repast 
 and sundry bottles of good wine would screw my courage up, 
 that it should arrive before bed-time at a proper tension. I re- 
 gret to say, when I had finished my dinner, and punished an 
 unusual quantity of champaigne, all alone, that I was, as Southey 
 says of the sky, in Madoc, 
 
 ' Most darkly, deeply, beautifully blue ." 
 
 At eight o'clock in the evening, I retired to bed, after a lusty 
 pull at the bell. The servant came. 
 
 ' Ask the landlord to step up to my room, and bring his bill.' 
 He clattered down stairs, giggling, and shortly thereafter his 
 master appeared. He entered with a generous smile, that 
 made me hope for ' the best his house afforded,' and that, just 
 then, was credit. 
 
 ' How much do I owe you ?' said I. He handed me the bill 
 with all the grace of polite expectancy. 
 
 'Let me see seventeen dollars. How very reasonable! 
 But my dear Sir, the most disagreeable part of this matter is 
 now to be disclosed. I grieve to inform you that, at present, I
 
 308 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 am out of money : but I know, by your philanthropic looks, that 
 you will be satisfied when I tell you that if I had it, I would 
 give it to you with unqualified pleasure. But you see my not 
 having the change by me is the reason I can't do it; and I am 
 sure you will let the matter stand, and say no more about it. I 
 am a stranger to you, that's a fact ; but in the place where I 
 came from, all my acquaintances know me, as easy as can be.' 
 
 The landlord turned all colors. ' Where do you live, any 
 how?' 
 
 In Washing I should say in Philadelphia.' 
 
 His eye flashed with angry disappointment. ' I see how it is, 
 Mister : my opinion is, that you are a black-leg. You don't 
 know where your home is. You begin with Washington, and 
 then drop it for Philadelphia. You must pay your bill.' 
 
 ' But I can't.' 
 
 ' Then I'll take your clothes ; if I don't, blow me tight !' 
 
 ' Scoundrel !' said I, rising bolt upright : ' Do it, if you dare! 
 do it! and leave the rest to me !' 
 
 There were no more words. He arose, deliberately seized 
 my hat, and my only inexpressibles, and walked down stairs. 
 
 Physicians say that no two excitements can exist at the same 
 time in one system. External circumstances drove away, almost 
 immediately, the confusion of my brain. 
 
 I arose and looked out of the window. The snow was de- 
 scending, as I drummed on the pane. What was I to do ? An 
 unhappy wight, sans culottes, in a strange city ; no money, and 
 slightly inebriated. A thought struck me. I had a large, full 
 cloak, which, with all my other appointments, save those he took, 
 the landlord had spared. I dressed immediately ; drew on my 
 boots over my fair white drawers, not unlike small clothes ; put 
 on my cravat, vest, and coat ; laid a travelling cap from my 
 trunk, jauntily over my forehead, and flinging my fine long man- 
 tip gracefully about me, made my way through the hall into the 
 street. 
 
 Attracted by shining lamps in the portico of a new hotel, a 
 few squares from my first lodgings, I entered, recorded some 
 name on the books, and bespoke a bed. Everything was fresh 
 and neat ; every servant attentive ; all augured well. I kept 
 myself closely cloaked ; pufied a cigar, and retired to bed, to 
 mature my plot. 
 
 * WAITER, just brush my clothes, well, my fine fellow,' said I, 
 in the morning, as he entered my room. * Mind the pantaloons ; 
 don't spill anything from the pockets ; there is money in both. 1
 
 DESPERATION. 309 
 
 ' I don't see no pantaloons.' 
 
 ' The devil you don't ! Where are they ?' 
 
 4 Can't tell, I'm sure : I don't know, s 'elp me GOD.' 
 
 ' Go down, Sirrah, and tell your master to come up here im- 
 mediately.' The publican was with me in a moment. 
 
 I had arisen and worked my face before the glass into a fiend- 
 ish look of passion. ' Landlord !' exclaimed I, with a fierce 
 gesture, ' 1 have been robbed in your house ; robbed, Sir, robbed ! 
 My pantaloons, and a purse containing three fifty dollar-notes, 
 are gone. This is a pretty hotel ! Is this the way that you ful- 
 fil the injunctions of Scripture? I am a stranger, and I find my- 
 self taken in, with a vengeance. I will expose you at once, if I 
 am not recompensed.' 
 
 * Pray keep your temper,' said the agitated publican. ' I have 
 just opened this house, and it is getting a good run : would you 
 ruin its reputation, for an accident ? I will find out the villain 
 who has robbed you, and I will send for a tailor to measure you 
 for your missing garment. Your money shall be refunded. Do 
 you not see that your anger is useless ?' 
 
 ' My dear Sir,' I replied, ' I thank you for your kindness. I 
 did not mean to reproach you. If those trowsers can be done 
 to-day, I shall be satisfied ; for time is more precious to me than 
 money. You may keep the others if you find them, and in ex- 
 change for the one hundred and fifty dollars which you give me, 
 their contents are yours. 
 
 The next evening, with new inexpressibles, and one hundred 
 and forty dollars in my purse, I called on my guardian in Phila- 
 delphia for sixty dollars. He gave it, with a lecture on collegi- 
 ate desertion, that I shall not soon forget. I enclosed the money 
 back to my honorable landlord, by the first post, settled my other 
 bill at old Crusty's, the first publican, and got my trunk by mail. 
 I have now a superflux of thirty dollars ; and when Tom Ed- 
 wards returns, if I can find no other use for it, I will give it to 
 him, for the lesson he has taught me. 
 
 If this story has bored you, George, you must forgive it. It 
 is pleasanter to remember, being past, than it is to tell. 
 
 Cordially Thine, 
 
 EUGENE DALLAS.
 
 310 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 CONTEMPORARIES. 
 
 -,t!. '..: : ' ii .- iv' ,,t " '.'">< - 
 
 'T is a queer word. Where or how it first came into use, the 
 memory of man scarce can tell. Political editors use it when 
 they wish to deal sly cuts at each other, without calling hard 
 names ; and it is, in truth, one of the commonest little fragments 
 of parlance extant. How journalists would get on without it, 
 passes conjecture. This, with the phrase ' some people,' and 
 ' certain persons,' gives them ample room for oblique thrusts and 
 anonymous allusions. Verily, they have reason to bless the 
 word. 
 
 But it is not alone in the word itself that interest lodges. It 
 is an honor to be contemporary with the great- I mean the for- 
 tunate great, who happen to receive during their natural term of 
 life that reward and renown which are often left to fling a halo 
 about .the tomb, and ring triumphant music in the dull ear of 
 death. Who among the young does not look with a kind of envy 
 upon the aged acquaintance that has seen General WASHING- 
 TON, and was a contemporary with him ? I have a friend, now 
 just in the best part of manhood, who loves to tell how he met 
 the Father of his Country, when Congress sat in Philadelphia. 
 The lad was playing in the State House Square, with some young 
 companions, while Washington passed along. ' There's the Com- 
 mander in Chief,' said a dozen voices. All the little company 
 ran to meet him. A storm was approaching ; and my friend, 
 drawing near to Washington, offered him an umbrella. Several 
 others did the same. ' No, my dear lads,' said the Pater Patriae, 
 ' keep your umbrellas for yourselves ; I have been in many 
 storms, and can endure them.' There is not a lad, present at 
 that time, who does not recall the circumstance with pleasure, 
 and feel a delight in saying, ' Washington was my contempo- 
 rary !' 
 
 There is something in the grave, which hallows the goodness, 
 as it buries the foibles, of its tenant. The form which wastes 
 away within its precincts, has ceased to move and to be. Per- 
 haps it had numerous enemies ; perhaps some imperious spirit 
 agitated that mouldering heart, and fired that busy brain. But 
 death smote them, and that form was no more the object of dis- 
 esteem, or the nucleus of envious fancies. Post mortem cessat 
 invidia. No longer contemporary, the vices and the goodness of 
 the common departed, become, the one softened, the other en- 
 larged, to the imagination. Above, the sun rolls round upon his
 
 CONTEMPORARIES. 311 
 
 circuit, in his chariot of gold ; the winds dispense abroad the mu- 
 sic of streams and the breath of flowers ; contemporaries hear and 
 inhale them ; but One has gone. He enjoys them no more. He 
 has travelled along the twilight vale of his decline, and is lost from 
 among the living. 
 
 I have often thought, when looking at some patriotic spectacle 
 at the theatres, on a Fourth of July evening ; when the apotheo- 
 sis of our Great Departed has been pictured forth, accompanied 
 with solemn and mournful music, ending at last in triumphant 
 harmony ; I have thought, I say, what a sensation would be pro- 
 duced, were the men thus honored to enter the theatre in the 
 flesh, clothed, and with bones and sinews ! Awe and wonder 
 would possess the multitude. Women would faint ; and men, 
 iron-hearted men, would weep for very enthusiasm. But let the 
 wonder cease ; let the re-appearance of these great men be ac- 
 counted for on some rational principle, supposing that possible, 
 and those restored patriots, being contemporary, would soon be 
 talked of with the same freedom that has ever distinguished and 
 yet distinguishes the political contests of this nation ; a freedom, 
 from which even the character of Washington, spotless as it was, 
 could not always be sacred. 
 
 The farther we go into the past, the greater is our wonder at 
 any thing which brings those olden ages near. Thus a mummy, 
 preserved for dozens of centuries, is truly a marvellous object. 
 We look upon the antiquated face, once fanned by the airs of 
 Egypt ; on the closed lids that perhaps opened to greet the sun- 
 light as it poured its matin influence on the harmonious Memnon ; 
 on the hands that may have woven the broidered sails of Tyrus, 
 or waved some signal of applause to Ptolemy or Cleopatra. A 
 British Poet has indulged in some beautiful reflections on this sub- 
 ject, suggested by seeing one of these Ancient of Days in the ex- 
 hibition of Belzoni, at London. They are in the form of an ad- 
 dress to the mummy : 
 
 I NEED not ask thee if that hand, when arm'd, 
 Has any Roman soldier mauled and knuckled, 
 
 For thou wert dead, and buried, and embalmed, 
 Ere Romulus and Remus had been suckled : 
 
 Antiquity appears to have begun 
 
 Long after thy primeval race was run. 
 
 Since first thy form was in this box extended, 
 
 We above ground have seen some strange mutations ; 
 
 The Roman empire has begun and ended, 
 New worlds have risen, we have lost old nations; 
 
 And countless kings have into dust been humbled, 
 
 While not a fragment of thy flesh has crumbled.
 
 312 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Didst thou not hear the pother o'er thy head, 
 When the great Persian conqueror, Cambysea, 
 
 March'd armies o'er thy tomb, with thundering tread, 
 O'erthrew Osiris, Opus, Apis, Isis, 
 
 And shook the Pyramids with fear and wonder, 
 When the gigantic Memnon fell asunder? 
 
 If the tomb's secrets may not be confessed, 
 
 The nature of thy private life unfold ; 
 A heart has throbbed beneath that leathern vest, 
 
 And tears adown that dusky cheek have rolled ; 
 Have children climb'd those knees, and kissed that face ? 
 
 What was thy name and station, age, and race ? 
 
 Statue of flesh immortal of the dead ! 
 
 Imperishable type of evanescence ! 
 Posthumous man, who quit'st thy narrow bed, 
 
 And standest undecayed within our presence, 
 Thou wilt hear nothing till the judgment morning, 
 When the great trump shall thrill thee with its warning ! 
 
 Distance, which in space belittles objects, in time enlarges 
 them. That which time spares, it hallows or curses. It bears 
 to after ages the brightness of a mighty reputation, or it adds 
 fresh grimness to ' a wounded name.' Its plaudits and its an- 
 athemas are alike enduring ; and that which, when contemporary, 
 was not deemed especially worthy of either, has its claims 
 strengthened in the lapse of years. 
 
 Contemporaries ! Could any one go back into bodily presence, 
 as we may in mind, among the great beings of the past great 
 for good or evil how common-place would seem to him the 
 thousand objects which history, and those deeds that ages sanc- 
 tify, and fate, preserve immortal ! That traveller into antiquity 
 might sport with Anthony in his voyages, with the dark eyes of 
 *his Egypt' darting their liquid lustre, and witness the mighty 
 littleness of the loving Roman ; he could stray with the philoso- 
 phers through the groves of Athens ; find Aristotle writing hymns 
 to please his sense, and gratify the master of a concubine, not- 
 withstanding his ethics that sense was non-essential to happiness ; 
 he might see Tiberius fight with an oysterman, or hear Nero fiddle. 
 Coming slowly down the vista of years, he might hear Shaks- 
 peare play at the Globe Theatre, in London, or enjoy his early 
 and ample fortune at Avon ; he might play with Goldsmith, dine 
 with Milton, at Mr. Russell's the tailor's ; or laugh at Thomson 
 as he sat on the fence of his rural retreat, with his hands in his 
 pockets, eating out the blushing and sunny sides of peaches in 
 his garden, that he was too lazy to pick ! This traveller, too, 
 might see what were the real knights of chivalry, about whom so 
 much is prated in these degenerate days. He would find them
 
 CONTEMPORARIES. 313 
 
 boisterous, revengeful, bilious and dishonest fellows ; vulgar in 
 attire, awkward in harness, covered with salve-patches on their 
 arms and legs, where they were galled with their iron mail, and 
 leaving their scores at the blacksmith's shops unpaid, all the way 
 from France and Britain, even to the Holy Land. Alas ! how 
 much of romance fades away in that one word, contemporary ! 
 It is ratsbane to the imagination ; it is a green shade over the 
 eagle eye of Genius ! 
 
 For heroes whose lives are passed at the head of armies, amid 
 * the stir of camps and the revelries of garrisons ;' who are from 
 year to year the observed of all observers ; for them, there is the 
 reward of their own era. Such men enjoy during their own mor- 
 tal span a kind of antepast of that renown which settles after 
 death upon their name. But they pay heavily for their glory, by 
 the responsibility and peril in which they exist. Failure even in 
 judgment would be ignominy ; multitudes of restless spirits are to 
 be guided and kept subordinate by their power, kindness, and 
 skill ; and what with one object and another to harass and dis- 
 tress them, their lives are passed upon the rack, and they pay 
 dearly enough for that two-penny whistle, 'posthumous fame. It 
 is only by the bustle and turmoil in which they live, that they re- 
 ceive more passing applause than the quiet civilian, whose works 
 and merits, after his departure, add radiance to his name. 
 
 I have said that, to be a contemporary, is to be belittled. The 
 remark is true, indubitably. I might prove it by a thousand in- 
 stances, but I will content myself with a very few. Homer was 
 called by Aristarchus, a vain, foolish fellow, who fancied he 
 could make poetry, and under that delusion had produced his 
 stupid Iliad, whose speedy transit to oblivion was confidently 
 predicted. Now his fame fills the world. When Milton's Para- 
 dise Lost appeared, a contemporary critic condemned it as trash ; 
 and it sold for fifteen pounds. Now it is immortal. Every body 
 will acknowledge that Shakspeare was a poet whose works are 
 imperishable ; whose observation was unfailing ; who looked 
 through Nature ; whose pathos and humor are irresistible ; who 
 was, in short, at once sublime, yet simple and delicate ; touching 
 and witty, deep and playful. He was such a man as centuries 
 do not match or approach. And how would these eulogistic 
 words have been received in his time ? As downright hyperbole. 
 He was probably looked upon in pretty much the same light as 
 Sheridan Knowles, that fine poet of humanity, is now viewed' in 
 London ; namely, as a man who wrote plays, and acted parts in 
 them. The majority of the common people undoubtedly es- 
 teemed him ' no great shakes.' I find in the chronicle of a quaint
 
 314 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 historian of Shakspeare and Queen Elizabeth's time, the follow- 
 ing venerable sketch, which shows that the Swan of Avon stood 
 but indifferent well : ' Our modern and present excellent poets 
 which worthily in their owne workes, and alle of them in my owne 
 knowledge lived in this Queene's* reigne, according to their pri- 
 orities, as neere as I could, I have orderly sette downe, (viz.) 
 George Gascoigne, Esquire, Thomas Church-yard, Esquire, Ed- 
 ward Dyer, Knight, Edmond Spenser, Esquire, Sir Philip Sid- 
 ney, Knight, Sir Thomas Chaloner, Knight ; Sir Francis Bacon, 
 Knight, and Sir John Davie, Knight ; Master John Lillie, gen- 
 tleman, Master George Chapman, gentleman, Master William 
 Warner, gentleman, Mast. Wil. Shaks-peare, gent.; Samuel 
 Davie of the Bath, Master Christopher Mario, gent. ; Master 
 Benjamin Jonson, gent. ; John Marston, esquire ; Master Abm. 
 Francis, gent. ; Francis Meers, gent. ; Master Joshua Sylvester, 
 gent. ; Master Thomas Decker, gent. ; John Mecher, gent. ; John 
 Webster, gent, ; Thomas Haywood, gent. ; Thomas Middleton, 
 gent. ; and George Withers.' 
 
 Now of all the poets, here ' orderly sette downe, according to 
 their priorities? how few survive ! We have a host of knights 
 and esquires, of whom, with a few exceptions, nothing is known : 
 and after Masters Chapman and Billy Warner, we have ' Mast. 
 Wil. Shaks-peare !' Of his fellow-bards, with some omissions, 
 what have we heard ? What of Chaloner, Davie, Lillie, Web- 
 ster, Meers, Sylvester, and Thomas Church-yard, eke ? We can 
 only fancy the latter a melancholy writer, but darkness covers 
 nearly all the rest. Doubtless Shakspeare conceived himself in- 
 ferior to all those whose names here precede his ; and therein, 
 (with the exclusion of his king and queen, and a few choice, 
 learned spirits, who knew his surpassing power,) he probably co- 
 incided with the general impression of his merits. Such is the 
 judgment of ' contemporaries !' 
 
 * Elizabeth.
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONOUT. 315 
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 
 
 ' BUT in Man's dwellings, he became a thing, 
 Restless, and worn, and stern, and wearisome ; 
 
 Droop'd as a wild-born falcon, with dipt wing, 
 To whom the boundless air alone were home.' BTROH. 
 
 I HAVE realized one of the dreams of my youth, and gratified 
 the strongest aspirations that ever agitated my manhood. I look 
 back with a kind of intoxicating bewilderment upon the perils I 
 have encountered, and the fears I have subdued ; for, to me, the 
 memory of excitement is excitement still. 
 
 My early days were passed in a village in the country. I first 
 opened my eyes to the light, near the banks of the Hudson ; and 
 my juvenile hours were full of the most flighty visions. I always 
 had a very aerial imagination. Anything in motion always had 
 for me a peculiar charm. I shall never forget the delight I ex- 
 perienced in seeing the doves fly from their shelter in the end of 
 my father's carriage-house. They would alight, and poise them- 
 selves for a moment on the eaves, turn their bright necks in the 
 sunlight, pour forth a few reedy murmurs, and then launch out 
 upon the bosom of the air. Often, in the fulness of youthful de- 
 sire, have I felt ready to say : 
 
 ' Oh, for thy wings ! thou dove, 
 Now sailing by, with sunshine on thy breast, 
 
 Thou thing of joy and love, 
 That I might soar away, and be at rest !' 
 
 My school-bench commanded a view of a long and distant 
 range of the Kaatskills, lifting their tall summits aloft, ' and print- 
 ing their bold outlines against the sky.' How did I love to watch 
 the evening clouds as they drave before the summer gale, along 
 those gigantic tumuli of blue, in throngs of gold and purple, mag- 
 nificent waftage, of rack undislimned ! My ardent fancy peo- 
 pled them with fairy inhabitants. Sometimes, castles and cities 
 seemed rising from them, groves nodded in beauty, and some- 
 times there would seem to spring up from their midst a mighty 
 rock ' o'erhanging as it rose, impossible to climb.' I used to 
 >think how those misty peaks of cloud could be surmounted, and 
 was wont to muse and dream over my shut arithmetic, until I 
 thought myself among them. 
 
 With my years, this soaring passion increased within me. I 
 -constructed large paper-kites, and sent them out of sight, at the 
 of some thousand yards of twine, procured by the outlay of
 
 316 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 every cent of my pocket-money for holidays. My heart bounded 
 with every move of those bird-like objects. Finally, I construct- 
 ed one of linen, nearly six feet long ; and, considering the shape 
 of a kite, proportionably wide. I had conceived the idea of send- 
 ing up a cat at the end of it, suspended a few feet from the paper 
 tail. One gusty afternoon in autumn, I attempted the enterprise. 
 Taking the kite on the terrace of my father's house, with the cat 
 tied to a chair, I arranged my large spindle of almost intermina- 
 ble twine, and perfected my arrangements. I secured the affec- 
 tionate old grimalkin to the cord, and attached it to the kite, which 
 I had much ado to hold steadily in my hand, for the violence of 
 the gale. Swinging the affair over the balustrade, I let the 
 small windlass slowly unroll with my left hand, while with my 
 right I held the cat by the soft velvet strap which I had tied 
 around her body, just behind her fore-legs. 
 
 The kite was now moving slowly upward, and puss was 
 purring most cordially, ' her custom always of an afternoon.' 
 As soon as the kite rose above the garden trees, it felt the full 
 press of the wind, and rushed upward like an arrow. At this 
 juncture, my venerable tabby was lifted from the chair where she 
 stood in unsuspecting quietude, and went dangling off, zenith- 
 ward. As I heard her hysterical ymvlings grow fainter and fainter, 
 and saw her feline corporation fading into indistinctness on the 
 edge of a cloud, I came to the conclusion that I had performed 
 one of the greatest achievements ever consummated by man. That 
 curious, Yankee-like Ancient, who stumped about, crying Eure- 
 ka ! on making his great discovery, could not have enjoyed him- 
 self more, in that paroxysm of rapture, than I did when I heard 
 and saw that old puss squalling her way into ether. When the 
 twine had completely unrolled, she was entirely out of sight, 
 among the clouds. I tied my string to the balustrade, and let 
 the poor old quadruped remain in nubibus, by the space of three 
 hours, when I wound her down, wet and shivering. Her large 
 green eyes were dilated with fear, and their sockets looked as if 
 they would soon have had, to use a boarding-school phrase, ' a 
 vacancy for pupils.' 
 
 But this adventure did not satisfy my ambition, I wished to 
 
 be, personally, in the air. The blue fields above me looked ever 
 to my eye, like the abodes of beauty and peace. One afternoon, 
 about this period, I gave notice to my school-mates, that I would 
 
 treat them to a specimen of ' the art of sinking,' from the roof of 
 the village academy, a stone edifice, five stories high. Choosing 
 a breezy day, and having each hand occupied with a large um- 
 brella, made for the occasion, I stalked gingerly out of the dor-
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 317 
 
 mer window of the cupola, and walking to the end of the root, 
 looked down upon a whole green-full of spectators. I had ex- 
 perimented, previously, as an amateur, from divers heights, without 
 injury. Getting a little dizzy, I opened my umbrellas, and made 
 the spring. I descended with a decent slowness at first, but the 
 operation of gravity upon me, after I passed the second story, 
 was too strong for breath, or comfort. I struck the ground with 
 force enough to cut my tongue desperately between my teeth, (for 
 I suppose I was about to say something in the ejaculative way,) 
 and to be jarred into a state of feeling like that of a glass of jelly, 
 allowing that article to have the capacity of sensation. I rose to 
 my feet, laughing as if the exploit were a fine one, and I delight- 
 ed ; but at the same time, with my mouth full of blood. 
 
 The memory of this feat was only a stimulant to the prosecu- 
 tion of others. But science now began to lend her influence and 
 aid to my longings. One part of my academical studies was 
 chemistry. I listened to the lectures of the Principal with a 
 pleasurable wonder, which I can not describe. The best por- 
 tions of the course were the evenings set apart for experiments. 
 One circumstance tended to render them peculiarly attractive. 
 My heart, about this time, became touched with the living fer- 
 vors of the tender passion. The object of my regard was a lovely 
 creature, only seventeen years of age. Sweet Sophia Howard ! 
 She is one whom I remember as a perfect beauty, if one ever lived. 
 How richly the golden hair disparted on her calm forehead, and 
 lay in silken waves upon her rosy cheek ! There was a light in 
 her clear, hazel eye, that used to fill me with a kind of dreamy 
 transport, which no time can annul. 
 
 In some of the lectures, the lights were extinguished, for the 
 purpose of showing the effects of phosphorus. On such oc 
 casions, how great was the change of places among the stu- 
 dents ! Every young lover hied to his mistress' side, for all the 
 refined young ladies of the village attended, and many were the 
 kisses exchanged in the darkness, then ! With my Sophia near 
 me, I was supremely comfortable. We watched the marks and 
 letters of flame as they played on the wall, and heard the lecturer 
 talking in his obscurity, ' but our hearts were otherwhere !' Ah, 
 good gracious ! those were happy days ! But I rhapsodise. 
 
 The study of chemistry interested mevbeyond any other. It 
 seems so supernatural, in many respects, to the half-initiated, that 
 it is very difficult to believe that an unearthly agency is not ex- 
 erted, in its results and combinations. It always reminded me 
 of the tales of wonder and enchantment, and the diablerie of 
 Faust, Monk Lewis, and other Satannic intellects. By degrees,
 
 313 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 the study became to me a passion. What with that, and love, I 
 was well nigh distraught. Finally, after a good deal of thought 
 upon the subject, and a careful estimate of my chances of pros- 
 perity in any other pursuit, I resolved to become a chemist by 
 profession. 
 
 As soon as I had made up my mind, I came to the city to con- 
 tinue the study. I pressed forward in my career with unabated 
 ardor. In the course of my researches on the subject of gases, 
 I encountered some histories of Aeronauts. They acted upon 
 my imagination as a spark of fire would on a nitrous train ; they 
 kindled it into a blaze. With what enthusiasm did I pore over 
 the recorded experiments and doubts of Cavallo and the Mont- 
 golfiers', of Charles, and d'Arlandes ! I resolved at some fu- 
 ture time, and that not remote, to try my silken sphere in the sky, 
 and to live, in fame, with those bold adventurers of Paris and 
 Avignon. 
 
 This era of my life was one of unmingled enjoyment. My 
 charming Sophia passed her winters with her relations in town ; 
 and our evenings were, of course, mutually shared. In her so- 
 ciety, music and beauty warmed me into rapture ; and when the 
 summer called her and her gentle cousins of the city to her rural 
 home, I used to feel like a hermit. Then my thoughts would 
 revert to chemistry with increased earnestness. The goodness 
 of my father enabled me to surprise my friends with a superb 
 store, and I conducted it with brilliant and unexpected success. 
 
 Practical chemistry is a severe calling, and I was only a su- 
 perintendent of my establishment. I had faithful and competent 
 subordinates for all the details, which left me nearly one half of 
 my time to spend at leisure, with men of science and letters. 
 The inspiration thus acquired, all tended to one point, my ulti- 
 mate ascension. There was not a day in the year, in which the 
 thought of it was absent from my mind. Occasional notices of 
 ascensions abroad, which met my eye among the foreign quota- 
 tions, served only to fan the flame. 
 
 One bright morning in June, as I was passing along Maiden 
 Lane, I saw a piece of light-colored silk, at the door of a fashion- 
 able shop. I stepped up to examine it. The quality was of 
 uncommon excellence. It was light, but very firm. Here, 
 thought I, is the materiel for my balloon. I entered, asked the 
 price, and found that the shop-keeper had several pieces of pre- 
 cisely the same quality. I purchased them at once, and leaving 
 my address, walked home as if on air. I had made the primary 
 movement in my enterprise, and I felt that it would not be long, 
 ere I should cease to be one of the * undistinguished many.' I
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 319 
 
 was determined to make some sensation in the world ; to rise 
 superior to that large number, each of whom is only famous for 
 counting one in a general census ; but to preserve a strict incog- 
 nito until the time arrived, when I should blaze upon the public 
 like a stray comet. 
 
 My intimacy with scientific gentlemen was of much service to 
 me ; although I do not imagine that a close knowledge of men 
 and things will add much to one's self-confidence. My acquaint- 
 ance with the science by which I expected to rise, was by no 
 means complete, and perhaps my limited attainments inspired me 
 with vigor to trample with a firm and resolute step upon every 
 obstacle that might interpose to prevent my flight. The mystery 
 of the aeronaut was of no very remote introduction in the coun- 
 try ; and though I had witnessed one or two ascensions, and con- 
 versed with the aeronauts, as to the details of their efforts, yet I 
 found myself unable properly to comprehend them. They were 
 of transatlantic origin, and after one or two voyages aloft, gener- 
 ally returned whence they came, each bearing with him the mar- 
 vellous aerostat, that he had brought from foreign lands. Books, 
 therefore, and my own judgment, supplied my deficiency in prac- 
 tical knowledge, and my soaring resolution daily grew stronger 
 and stronger. 
 
 At this period, I surveyed the heavens by night and day, with 
 an intensity of interest. There swelled that broad blue theatre, 
 among whose cloudy curtains I was yet to rise ; there, were the 
 empires of the imagination ; from thence came light, enveloped 
 in heat ; and there, was the source of life. There the sun ' look- 
 ed from his sole dominion like a God,' sowing the earth with his 
 vital smile ; from that endless vault came the subtle, invisible, and 
 mystic fluid, which pervades the globe, ubiquitous in its princi- 
 ple, resistless in its power. There, the tremulous stars sang to- 
 gether ; there, the Thunderer lifted his voice ; there, the meteor 
 streamed its horrid hair ; and from thence, the moon poured her 
 religious lustre on the earth, blending her rays with the sweet in- 
 fluences of Orion and the Pleiades, of Arcturus and his sons. 
 
 I never prided myself much on my weather-wisdom ; and the 
 atmospherical phenomena or changes of the seasons seldom 
 occupied much of my attention. But now, as I meditated an 
 early voyage, I began to compare a few old almanacs together, 
 to ascertain the mildest part of the season. Whether the com- 
 parison was accidental or not, I am unable to tell ; but I found 
 that the early days of September had been for many years pre- 
 vious, remarkably clear and calm. Presuming on the continu- 
 ance of such weather, I fixed upon the first part of that approach-
 
 320 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ing month for my aerial debut. The sequel proved that my ra- 
 tiocination was at fault. I looked for a day such as we some- 
 times experience after the fervors of the solstice, when the sky 
 appears palpable, and you can see the downy beard of the thistle, 
 gradually moving through its depths, as if empowered to make 
 its way, fast or slow, by inherent volition. But there is such a 
 thing as a premature equinox, and in dry weather all signs fail. 
 
 Not a week now passed, without finding me in the possession 
 of some new materials, all tending to the ultimate object. My 
 nights, instead of sleep, gave me visionary slumbers, fitful pas- 
 sages of repose, which made my waking hours seem like the 
 fragments of a dream. I felt like one rapt, inspired. I shunned 
 all company, I neglected my affectionate Sophia's correspondence 
 from the country. In fine, I was half demented, perhaps a mon- 
 olithiac, a fool on one point. But there was method in my mood. 
 I had a determinate purpose in my mind, where every energy 
 centered. 
 
 About a month before the time, I sent a confidential notice to 
 an editor of one of the journals, requesting him to observe in his 
 original department, that, early in September, a young American 
 would make his first ascension in a balloon from Castle Garden, 
 and that due information would be given of the day on which the 
 event would take place. The article appeared, and went the 
 rounds. I immediately sent a paper, and wrote to Sophia Howard 
 and her brother, giving her the intelligence that the aeronaut was 
 a friend of hers, whom we both knew, and requesting the brother 
 to accompany the family to the city in the steamboat, on the 
 Saturday evening previous to the ascension, the time of which I 
 promised to communicate as soon as definitely known. I had 
 the satisfaction of receiving a compliance with my request, and a 
 thousand questions from Sophia, concerning 'the intrepid young 
 gentleman, who was about to leave the world in so singular a 
 manner.' 
 
 I kept my secret, and perfected my arrangements. Long be- 
 fore the day selected for my enterprise, my balloon was made, 
 and folded, according to the forms I had seen ; the netting, iron, 
 oil of vitriol, barometer, vessels, all the apparatus, prepared ; 
 even the ice was engaged, with which the conductors were to be 
 cooled. I had proceeded with the utmost caution ; and the 
 proximity of the wished-for yet dreaded time occupied almost 
 every thought. Gas and love divided my intellect between them. 
 My scientific confederates were all sworn to be mum about my 
 name ; the newspapers announced the day, and ' keen the won- 
 der grew.'
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 321 
 
 At the time specified, ray friends came. The expected voy- 
 age was then a town's talk, and I had much ado to keep my 
 counsel from Sophia. An evening or two after her arrival, on 
 visiting her with my accustomed punctuality, I found her beau- 
 tiful eyes filled with tears. I asked the cause. She handed me 
 one of the evening journals. It announced my name as that of 
 the aeronaut who was about to make his perilous venture. So- 
 phia implored me to say that it was erroneous, and thus remove 
 her misery. 
 
 For a moment I was utterly unmanned. The tears of a lovely 
 being, who had never before met me but with a smile, and whom 
 I adored so tenderly, were too much for me. I hesitated a little : 
 but Truth was my counsellor : I knew that some of my confi- 
 dants must have * blabbed,' and I owned that the statement was 
 veritable. 
 
 I will not describe the scene that ensued. Had not my unu- 
 sual eloquence succeeded in explaining to her the comparative 
 safety of the attempt, and in soothing her fears, I would have 
 flung a thousand balloons to the wind, rather than wound that 
 gentle heart. But Sophia Howard had a yielding spirit. When 
 she found that my whole soul was bent on the effort, when I 
 showed her the reputation and advantages it might give me, she 
 grew calm with a ' sweet reluctant delay,' that endeared her to 
 me more than ever. 
 
 At last came on the evening previous to the day. As I walk- 
 ed among the busy throngs of Broadway, heard my name uttered 
 by hundreds, and caught occasional views of the rich scenery 
 across the Hudson, where twilight was then faintly blushing, I 
 could not help asking myself, ' Where shall I be at this time to- 
 morrow ?' Perhaps, a lifeless corse in the ocean, or perchance 
 dashed upon some rocky crag, or blasted by some dreadful ex- 
 plosion !' But my mind was made up, and I drave the forebod- 
 ings from my brain. I spent a holy, melancholy evening with my 
 beloved, and our adieu was like that of friends who part to meet 
 no more. 
 
 That night I could not sleep. Perturbed by a multitude of 
 thoughts, I tossed upon my couch in restless longings. At last, 
 I slumbered, and dreamed. 
 
 Methought I embarked in my balloon to cross the ocean. I 
 cut the ideal cord, and set forth in my imaginary car. Day after 
 day, to my fancy, I rode on the posting winds, far above the 
 long green swells of the Atlantic. At last, I made the coast of 
 England, and sailed among the clouds to London. Here, me- 
 thought, news had been received of my approach, and an escort 
 
 21
 
 322 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 of several pilot-balloons came out to meet me. I found a com- 
 mittee of both Houses of Parliament, with the Lord Mayor, on 
 the broad, flat-roof of St. Paul's, ready for my reception. They 
 offered me the hospitalities of the city. How fantastic is a 
 dream ! I declined the honor, and pushed on to Windsor. 
 There I stopped for a moment, fastened my balloon to the ter- 
 race, and took a glass of wine with the king, who I thought was 
 walking on the terrace, in his robe de chambre, and eke his night- 
 cap. He gave me a passport to France. I shook his royal 
 hand, borrowed some pigtail tobacco of him, and sailed away. I 
 reached France soon after. Passing over the heights of Mont- 
 martre, I looked down upon the capital. I seemed to know tho 
 city ; and when I arrived over the Place Vendome, I was made 
 to look up, by some irresistible monition, and lo ! my balloon 
 had changed to the semblance of a horn ! a long, bright trumpet 
 of silk, the little end towards the earth, and from it, by a mere 
 thread, was my car suspended ! All at once, the thread parted. 
 I went down, down, in a way that one can only sink in dreams. 
 I saw my head strike against the statue of Napoleon, and fall 
 separate from my body to the earth. I observed the jabbering 
 crowd picking up my limbs, (these are sights for dreams only !) 
 and then I awoke. 
 
 THE morning sun was shining in my window. I dressed in- 
 stantly. My dream seemed to indicate that I should at any rate 
 have an extensive sail, though the close omened that I should 
 come out at last from the little end of the horn. ' Never mind,' 
 said I, ' that last part was dreamed in the morning ; and there is 
 an adage, that ' morning dreams always go by contraries.' This 
 satisfied my superstition, and I took my slender breakfast in 
 cheerfulness and hope. 
 
 I had scarcely finished this hasty meal, when my apartment 
 was entered by a meagre-looking gentleman, who seemed ner- 
 vous and agitated. I inquired his pleasure. He answered me 
 with a marked French accent. My dear Sir,' said he, you are 
 not acquainted with me, but I have taken the liberty to come and 
 try to dissuade you from your voyage this day. 1 have never 
 seen but oije balloon ascension, and God forbid that I should 
 ever see another. It was that of M. Remain, and Pilatre de 
 Rozier, in '85. I saw them rise from the shore of France, to 
 cross to the English side ; as their double balloons ascended 
 among the clouds over the waves, I saw the flames burst forth in 
 the lower globe ; I saw the fierce blaze flashing aloft, and the 
 daring aeronauts precipitated from on high, mangled by the fiery
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 323 
 
 gas, and swept to death by that aerial power which they had 
 fondly hoped would give them fame ! Horrid remembrance ! 
 My dear friend, can I persuade you not to go ?' 
 
 I was touched with this abrupt evidence of friendship ; but I 
 argued with the adviser, that important discoveries had since 
 been made in the science ; that my gas would be cool, and no 
 embers be placed near the aerostat, as there was with that of Ro- 
 zier and Remain. My determination, I added, was inflexible. 
 The gentleman smiled reluctantly, and bowed himself out as sud- 
 denly as he entered, leaving me surprised at the quickness and 
 singularity of the interview. 
 
 I now consulted my barometer. It had risen during the night, 
 but there were flying clouds in the sky, and they drifted along 
 with a rapidity which betokened a strong wind. I found, how- 
 ever, on opening my window, that it was light but summer-like. 
 The barometer could not be doubted, and my hopes were as- 
 sured. 
 
 I was now delayed for hours with men from the amphitheatre 
 at the garden, wishing my directions. I gave them like a general 
 commanding his legions. One I ordered to the sail-maker's, for 
 canvass to spread the balloon on ; one to the cooper's, for extra 
 casks : one to one place, one to another. I issued my ukase 
 that no particle of iron, or any sharp, hard substance be left on 
 the ground about the canvass ; that the policemen should be on 
 the ground, tickets sent to editors, and arranged every thing with 
 a promptitude that has since astonished me. I then retired to 
 my room, and dressed in a plain suit of American cloth, for the 
 occasion, had my chin new reaped by a dainty barber, and sallied 
 into the street. 
 
 It was new about twelve o'clock. I called for a moment on 
 the Howards, to inform them that one of the best seats had been 
 reserved for their use, and that an attendant would be at the gate, 
 to conduct them to it. This, to me, first duty arranged, I walk- 
 ed slowly down Broadway to the Garden. As general a turning 
 of heads occurred among the most of those I met, as if I had 
 been the sea-serpent. There was excitement in this. I felt like 
 a monarch. 
 
 I found the garden by no means empty, even at that early hour ; 
 and around about the scene, were premature groups of curious 
 sailors, country urchins, and Fly-market loafers, looking up at 
 the flags, and other popular furniture, that fluttered above. I 
 examined every thing connected with the apparatus most strictly. 
 Minutes seemed hours. At length, the cannon, booming over 
 the bay, and startling the distant shores and heights, announced
 
 324 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 the opening of the gates, and the commencement of the process 
 of inflation. Throngs of well-dressed citizens, ladies and gentle- 
 men, began to arrive. The empty benches became fewer and 
 fewer ; and there was a bustle around me, which filled me with 
 impatience. My natural timidity was lost in the consciousness 
 that my preparations were perfect, and an assurance that I should 
 perform what I had promised. The wind had lulled, the clouds 
 dispersed from overhead, though a few bright-edged ones still lay 
 along the west. 
 
 The attendants now opened the carboys of oil of vitriol, some 
 of which they poured into large jars : these were emptied into 
 capacious hogsheads, where three thousand pounds of iron, and 
 some thousand gallons of water had already been placed. The 
 chemical compound was complete ; the noise proceeding from 
 the casks, proved the powerful action of the agitated acid on the 
 iron. The water was fast decomposing, the gas rushed through 
 the tubes to the condenser, and thence poured in volumes into 
 the balloon, which now arose from the canvass, gradually distend- 
 ing into a globular form, and quivering like a thing of life, in im- 
 patient bondage. Finally, it was permitted to rise a few feet, for 
 the proper arrangement of the delicate cord-work, by which it 
 was encompassed. I now experienced a strong feeling of pleas- 
 ure, when I heard the loud cheering which attended the letting 
 off of the little pilot balloon. It passed to the east of the city, 
 and describing a vast semicircle over the north part of the town, 
 floated, at last, away to the west, beyond the wind-mills of Jer- 
 sey city, towdrd the town of Newark. There was a kind of 
 pleasing bewilderment in being thus the focus of ten thousand 
 eyes, in the bursts of national music, and the encouragement of 
 so many hearts. I felt it all. It surpassed every previous ex- 
 perience of condensed excitement. 
 
 Only twenty minutes now remained before the hour of ascen- 
 sion. * The time of my departure was at hand,' and I was 
 * ready to be offered.' Every thing requisite had been placed in 
 my fairy gondola ; my pigeon, the poetry, in hand-bills, for the 
 occasion ; the tissue-paper, flags, ballast, all. Every moment 
 seemed an hour. I did not trust myself to look often at the seat 
 where Sophia, and all my nearest relations, were seated ; for I 
 feared that they might disconcert me. Observing a broken car- 
 boy of oil of vitriol lying carelessly by the passage through which 
 the balloon with its netting had been brought, I ordered it instantly 
 removed. The amphitheatre was now filled ; the Battery trees 
 ' bore men ;' the bay was crowded with craft of all sorts, and 
 every eminence in the neighborhood was clothed with clusters of 
 human beings.
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 32t> 
 
 My gay wicker-car was now attached, with the minutest care, 
 to the long cords that depended from the buoyant globe above* 
 I was looking at my watch, observing that the time of twenty had 
 dwindled to eight minutes, when I heard the cry of ' Fire !' I 
 sprang toward the aerostat, as if a bullet had perforated my heart. 
 'Where?' said I. 'There, in the balloon!' was the answer. 
 Looking upward, I perceived that the netting had become en- 
 tangled with the valve, which ever and anon flew open, as the 
 wind surged against the balloon, and the gas, mixed with vapor, 
 issued from the aperture, resembling smoke. The netting was 
 soon disengaged ; and the valve, closed and held by its stout 
 springs, remained firm in its place. 
 
 My hour had now come, and I entered the car. With a 
 singular taste, the band struck up at this moment the melting 
 air of ' Sweet Home.' It almost overcame me. A thousand as- 
 sociations of youth, friends, of all that I must leave, rushed upon 
 my mind. But like Dashall in the play, I had no leisure for 
 sentiment. A buzz ran through the assemblage ; unnumbered 
 hands were clapping, unnumbered hearts beating high ; and I 
 was the cause. Every eye was upon me. There was pride in 
 the thought. 
 
 ' Let go !' was the word. The cheers redoubled, handker- 
 chiefs waved from many a fair hand, bright faces beamed from 
 every window, and on every side. My last look was toward 
 Sophia. She was pale, and her lips parted ' like monument of 
 Grecian art.' Her white fingers touched them, as I cut the 
 cord. One dash with my knife, and I rose aloft, a habitant of air. 
 
 How magnificent was the sight which now burst upon me ! 
 How sublime were my sensations ! I waved the flag of my 
 country ; the cheers of the multitude from a thousand house-tops 
 reached me on the breeze ; and a taste of the rarer atmosphere 
 elevated my spirits into ecstacy. The city, with a brilliant sun- 
 shine striking the spires and domes, now unfolded to view, a 
 sight incomparably beautiful. My gondola went easily upward, 
 clearing the depth? of heaven, like a vital thing. A diagram 
 placed before you, on the table, could not permit you to trace 
 more definitely than I now could, the streets, the highways, ba- 
 sins, wharves, and squares of the town. The theatres and public 
 buildings, I recognised from their location near parks or open 
 grounds, and from the peculiarity of their being covered with va- 
 rious metals, as well as slate, or tiles. The hum of the city 
 arose to my ear, as from a vast bee-hive ; and I seemed the 
 nonarch-bee, directing the swarm. I heard the rattling of car- 
 riages, the hearty yo-heave-o ! of sailors from the docks that, be-
 
 826 
 
 girt with spars, hemmed the city round : I was a spectator of all, 
 yet aloof, and alone. Increasing stillness attended my way ; 
 and at last the murmurs of earth came to my ear like the last vi- 
 brations of a bell. 
 
 My car tilted and trembled, as I rose. A swift wind some- 
 times gave the balloon a rotary motion, which made me deathly 
 sick for a moment ; but strong emotion conquered all my physi- 
 cal ailings. My brain ached with the intensity of my rapture. 
 Human sounds had fainted from my ear. I was in the abyss of 
 heaven, and alone with my GOD. I could tell my direction by 
 the sun on my left ; and as his rays played on the aerostat, it 
 seemed only a bright bubble, wavering in the sky, and I a sus- 
 pended mote, hung by chance to its train. Looking below me; 
 the distant Sound and Long-Island appeared to the east ; the bay 
 lay to the south, sprinkled with shipping ; under me the city, 
 girded with bright rivers and sparry forests ; the free wind was 
 on my cheek and in my locks ; afar, the ocean rolled its long blue 
 waves, chequered with masses of shadow, and gushes of ruby 
 sunlight ; to the north and west the interminable land, variegated 
 like a map, dotted with purple, and green, and silver, faded to 
 to the eye. 
 
 The atmosphere which I now breathed seemed to dilate my 
 heart at every breath. I uttered some audible expression. My 
 voice was weaker than the faintest sound of a reed. There was 
 no object near to make it reverb or cho. Though rising with 
 incredible swiftness, I had nothing to convince my eye that I was 
 not nearly still. The weak flap-flap-flap, of the cords against the 
 balloon, in regular motion, as the trembling aerostat, moved by 
 its subtle contents, continued to rise, was all that indicated my 
 tendency. My barometer now denoted an immense height ; and 
 as I looked upward and around, the concave above seemed like 
 a mighty waste of purple air, verging to blackness. Below, it 
 was lighter ; but a long, lurid bar of cloud stretched along the 
 west, temporarily excluding the sun. The shadows rushed afar 
 into the void, and a solemn, Sabbath-twiligh^ reigned around. I 
 was now startled at a fluttering in my gondola. It was my com- 
 pagnon du voyage, the carrier pigeon. I had forgotten him en- 
 tirely. I attached a string to his neck, with a label, announcing 
 my height, then nearly four miles, and the state of the barometer. 
 As he sat on the side of the car, and turned his tender eyes upon 
 me in mute supplication, every feather shivering with apprehen- 
 sion, I felt that it was a guilty act to push him into the waste be- 
 neath. But it was done ; he attempted to rise, but I out-sped 
 him ; he then fell obliquely, fluttering and moaning, till I lost him 
 in the haze.
 
 LEAVES FROM AN AERONAUT. 327 
 
 My greatest altitude had not yet been reached. I was now 
 five miles from terra-firma. I began to breathe with difficulty. 
 The atmosphere was too rare for safe perspiration. I pulled my 
 valve-cord to descend. It refused to obey my hand. For a 
 moment I was horror-struck. What was to be done ? If I as- 
 cended much higher, the balloon would explode. I threw over 
 some tissue paper to test my progress. It is well known that 
 this will rise very swiftly. It fell, as if blown downward, by a 
 wind from the zenith. I was going upward like an arrow. I at- 
 tempted to pray, but my parched lips could not move. I seized 
 the cord again, with desperate energy. Blessed heaven ! it 
 moved. I threw out rrfore tissue. It rose to me like a wing of 
 joy. I was descending. Though far from sunset, it was now 
 dark about me, except a track of blood-red haze, in the direction 
 of the sun. I encountered a strong current of wind ; mist was 
 about me ; it lay like dew upon my coat. At last, a thick bar 
 of vapor being past, what a scene was disclosed ! A storm was 
 sweeping through the sky, ,nearly a mile beneath, and I looked 
 down upon an ocean of rainbows, rolling in indescribable gran- 
 deur, to the music of the thunder-peal, as it moaned afar and 
 near, on the coming and dying wind. A frightened eagle had 
 ascended through the tempest, and sailed for minutes by my side, 
 looking at me with panting weariness, and quivering mandibles, 
 but with a dilated eye, whose keen iris flashed unsubdued. 
 Proud emblem of my Country ! As he fanned me with his 
 heavy wings, and looked with a human intelligence at the car, 
 my pulse bounded with exulting rapture. Like the genius 
 of my native land, he had risen above every storm, unfettered and 
 FREE ! But my transports were soon at an end. He attempted 
 to light on the balloon, and my heart sunk ; I feared his huge 
 claws would tear the silk. I pulled my cord ; he rose, as I sank, 
 and the blast swept him from my view in a moment. A flock of 
 wild fowl, beat by the storm, were coursing below, on bewildered 
 pinions, and as I was nearing them, I knew I was descending. A 
 singular effect was nojf produced by my position. It was a double 
 horizon, one formed oy the outer edge of the upper cloud, and 
 the other by the angle of the eye to the extreme strata of the 
 storm over the earth. A breaking rift now admitted the sun. 
 The rainbows tossed and gleamed ; chains of fleecy rack, shining 
 in prismatic rays of gold, and purple, and emerald, ' beautiful 
 exceedingly,' spread on every hand. Vast curtains of cloud 
 pavilioned the immensity, brighter than celestial roses, or ' jasper, 
 bdellium, or the ruby stone,' glittered around ; masses of mist 
 were lifted on high, like steps of living fire, more radiant than
 
 338 PROSB MISCELLANIES. 
 
 the sun himself, when his glorious noontide culminates from the 
 equator. A kind of aerial Euroclydon now smote my ear ; and 
 three of the cords parted, which tilted my gondola to the side, 
 filling me with terror. I caught the broken cords in my hand, 
 but could not tie them. They had been dragged over the broken 
 carboy of oil of vitriol, of which I have spoken, and had rotted 
 asunder. 
 
 The storm below was now rapidly passing away, and beneath 
 its waving outline, to the southeast, I saw the ocean. Ships 
 were speeding on their course, and their bright sails melting into 
 distance : a rainbow hung afar, and the rolling anthems of the 
 Atlantic came like celestial hymnings to m ear. 
 
 Presently, all was clear below me. The fresh air played 
 around. I had taken a noble circuit, and my last view was better 
 than the first. I was far over the bay, ' afloating sweetly to the 
 west.' The city, colored by the last blaze of day, brightened 
 remotely to the view. Below, ships were hastening to and fro 
 through the narrows ; and the far country lay smiling like an 
 Eden. Bright rivers ran like ribands of gold and silver, till they 
 were lost in the vast inland, stretching beyond the view ; the 
 gilded mountains were flinging their purple shadows over many a 
 vale ; bays were blushing to the farewell day-beams ; and now I 
 was passing over a green island. 1 sailed to the main land ; 
 saw the tall old trees waving to the evening breeze ; heard the 
 rural lowing of herds ; heard the welcome sound of human 
 voices; and finally, sweeping over forest tops and embowered 
 villages, at last descended with the sun, among a kind-hearted, 
 surprised, and hospitable community, in as pretty a town as one 
 could desire to see, ' safe and well.' 
 
 IF I have told too long a yarn for so short a voyage, I crave 
 the reader's mercy. My feat has not diminished the number of 
 my friends, and nothing could increase Sophia Howard's love. 
 She is now mine ; and when she wishes to amuse our little So- 
 phia, as some childish casualty bids her weq^ she takes her on 
 her knee, and tells her ' about Pa's voyage in the sky,' until, 
 
 ' Throned on her mother's lap, she dries each tear, 
 As the sweet legend falls upon her ear.'
 
 THE STONE- F LINGER OF CAMPEACHY. 329 
 
 - 
 
 THE STONE -F LINGER OF CAMPEACHY. 
 
 (EL PEDRERO C AMPECH AN O. ) 
 
 WHOEVER has been at Campeachy within the last twenty-five 
 years, has probably seen, and must remember, a fellow of curious 
 look and gait, wandering to and fro through the streets of the 
 cjjty. His nether garments have never been considered remark- 
 able for their cleanliness or beauty ; his tattered sombrero de 
 jpaja hangs ever slouchingly over his cunning and restless eyes ; 
 and he is evermore to be seen poking his intrusive nose into 
 other people's business ; not unblushmgly , it is true, for the 
 member of which I speak has always glowed and beamed as did 
 the ' maintained salamander', of Bardolph, which Falstaff used as 
 a sort of lantern, to light him about from tavern to tavern ; from 
 the Boar's Head, and its dependencies, to all the adjacent tap- 
 rooms, near and far, in London. I say most if not all people 
 who have seen Campeachy, will remember the nondescript of 
 whom I speak El Pcdrero Campechano, or the Stone-flinger, 
 of that ilk. He is a well-educated and accomplished loafer, the 
 very head of his tribe, having been brought up at the feet of 
 loafers from childhood. No adventure was ever too arduous for 
 his undertaking. Ke would pick a pocket, or thresh a friend's 
 enemy, for the same quid pro quo, and with equal good will. 
 He was eternally busy in the day time, about nothing ; for the 
 moonlight evenings and the twilight hours were his only seasons 
 of pecuniary harvest. His eye was an unerring, unerratic orb, 
 in its wildest and most maudlin rollings ; and for hire or from 
 caprice, he would take a stone in his right hand and send it to 
 the distance of a quarter-mile with arithmetical precision. He 
 could single out a man from a crowd, among thousands, and con- 
 sign him to oblivion, without mistake or fear. In daylight, to 
 see him, you would^hink him the busiest man alive. He was 
 always to be observed running about the long wharf of the town, 
 with a memorandum-book and pencil in his hand, taking notes 
 of bales and boxes, as if he were the most anxious merchant in 
 the place, and had immense consignments in his charge. Yet 
 he had not a copper, of any kind, unless it were some gratuity 
 for his scoundrel contests. No one ever understood better the 
 science of projectiles, or loved better the bottle and the glass. 
 Hence he inherited, by positive merit and common consent, the 
 soubriquet of Pepe Naranjo, or Pepe Botella, in which he re- 
 joiced.
 
 330 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 In one of the drunken scrapes of Pepe Botella, he had the 
 misfortune to have his left side kicked into a palsy by an athletic 
 fellow with whom he was contending. He never but partially 
 recovered from the effects of this accident ; and while he passed 
 along the street, the contrast between his sinister and dextral 
 members was particularly striking ; one side being tottering and 
 rickety, the other strong and lusty. The strength of the palsied 
 portion of his body seemed only to have united itself with the 
 hearty department, greatly adding to the force thereof. The 
 offender, however, who produced this disaster, had reason to rue 
 the day when he used his foot so discourteously. He stood in 
 daily fear of his life ; and was at last found one moonlight evening, 
 prostrate and dead in the street. A large stone lay near him, 
 covered iwith hair and clotted blood ; his head was indented 
 with a hideous wound, and the place where he lay, stained with 
 the vital current. No one was seen in the neighborhood during 
 the evening ; no words of strife were heard ; and the whole 
 event was concealed in mystery. El Pedrcro was observed to 
 look very knowingly and satisfied, when told of the occurrence, 
 and was even suspected of the act ; but it was impossible to pro- 
 duce any satisfactory proof against him. 
 
 The reputation of Pepe as a stone-flinger at last became fully 
 established. He was even employed sometimes to avenge the 
 wrongs of others, which Jbe would do for a very small ' conside- 
 ration.' A glass of spiritous fluid would generally be deemed 
 by him a sufficient guerdon for almost any enterprise. 
 
 THERE lived in Campeachy a licentious priest, named Juan 
 de Raduan, who had become exceedingly hateful to many of the 
 young men of the city, for his libertine propensities. Nothing 
 certain, however, could be adduced against him. Vague 'suspi- 
 cions and rumors alone were afloat respecting his conduct, and 
 these at last gradually died away. The station of the Padre; 
 the holy office he professed and filled, join^ to the great rever- 
 ence of the people for the priesthood ; all served to keep him 
 secure, even if guilty, and to appear as it were in apotheosis, if 
 innocent. The murmurs of suspicion being quelled, the holy 
 villain sought occasion, at an evening confessional, to pour into 
 the ear of a lovely damsel, one Isabella de Leon, the daughter 
 of a princely house, the enticing accents and proposals of the 
 basest passion. The affrighted girl fled from his presence in dis- 
 gust, communicated the secret to her brother, and besought him, 
 nay required of him, under the most solemn injunctions, that the
 
 THE STONE-FLINGER OF CAMPEACHY. 331 
 
 circumstance should be communicated to no one living. The 
 brother bit his pale lip, and swore obedience. 
 
 The Semana Santa, or holy week, was near. At last it ar- 
 rived. During this season, great solemnity prevails through the 
 town; plaintive tones roll from the aisles and belfries of the 
 cathedrals ; the penitent wail in the streets, and count their beads 
 at every turn. Preaching is ' done' in the public" places ; and 
 the clergy are as busy in their vocation, as the faculty of a col- 
 lege previous to commencement. 
 
 One evening, in early twilight, the Padre Raduan took his 
 station in an out-door pulpit, at the termination of the Barrio de 
 Guadeloupe, and* La Punta de Diamanta, streets of the city 
 which form the two long angles of a triangle. The area in front 
 of the pulpit was occupied by a tumultuous sea of people, bow- 
 ing and kneeling in penitence and prayer. The preliminary ser- 
 vices were over : the vesper incense had ascended, the ave Maria 
 had ceased, and the Padre began his discourse. 
 
 While this scene was passing, the traveller might have noted, 
 in a green lane near the outskirts of the town, a tall youth, hold- 
 ing low and anxious converse in the fading light with El Pedrero, 
 the Stone-flinger. It was young de Leon. 
 
 ' He is a precious villain,' said the latter, ' that wretched Padre, 
 and he must not live. He a Priest ! By the Holy Virgin, 
 were it not for an oath, I would pierce his surplice with my own 
 stiletto ! Now, Pepe, can I engage you to make his forehead 
 and a stone acquainted ?' 
 
 * Si Senor,' replied Botella ; but for what pay ? I am no 
 hireling murderer, Senor ; and I can not perform this heavy job 
 for a common reward. I must have my flask filled daily with 
 the best liquor in your wine vault, for six months to come ; and 
 I want also some money for my present necessities. What will 
 you give ?' 
 
 ' Now, a doblon de a una, and when your deed is done, ten 
 more.' 
 
 El Pedrero knew tire potential value of gold, that slave of the 
 dark and dirty mine. In this he but imitated mankind in the 
 mass, from Indus to the Pole. Where, and over whom does it 
 not hold sway ? ' Gold, of all other,' saith the quaint Democritus 
 his pen, ' is a most delitious objecte ; a sweet light, a goodly lus- 
 tre it hath ; gratius auram quam solem intuemur, saith Austin, 
 and we rather see it than the sun. Sweet and pleasant in get- 
 ting, in keeping, it seasons all our labors ; intolerable pains we 
 take for it ; base employment, endure bitter flouts and taunts, 
 long journeys, heavy burdens ; all are made light and easy by
 
 332 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 
 this hope of gain. The sight of gold refresheth our spirits, and 
 ravisheth our hearts, as the Babylonian garment and golden 
 wedge did Achan in the camp ; the very sight and hearing sets 
 on fire his soul with desire of it. It will make a man run to the 
 Antipodes, or tarry at home and turn parasite, lye, flatter, pros- 
 titute himself, swear and bear false witness ; he will venture his 
 body, kill a king, murther his father, and damn his soul to come 
 at it.' To the latter extreme, or near it, had El Pedrero been 
 roused by the single doblon dc a una of de Leon. 
 
 Slowly and stealthily the Stone-flinger and his employer made 
 their way toward the Barrio de Guadaloupe. As they neared 
 the great area by the Punta de Diamanta, they perceived that the 
 evening torches and flambeaux had been lighted, and were shed- 
 ding their fitful rays over the vast multitude. Tall wax candles 
 by the pulpit enabled the many thousands around to see with 
 perfect distinctness the splendid robes of the Padre Raduan. 
 He was preaching with a drawling coldness; and evidently took 
 more pains to gesture gracefully, and to see who of his female 
 friends were among the assemblage, than to deliver the testimony 
 of a man of GOD. 
 
 On the very outskirts of the multitude, at the distance of six 
 or seven hundred yards from the pulpit and priest, stood El 
 Pedrero and his master for the time. 
 
 ' Can you see his eye, Senor ?' said the Stone-flinger, in a low 
 voice. 
 
 1 No,' replied de Leon : the rays of the candles dazzle me.' 
 
 4 It is no matter,' added Pepe : ' I can see his face. That 
 will do. Stand back, Senor, and tell me where to strike him.' 
 
 * In the middle of his forehead, between the temples ; dash 
 out his brains, if you can ; the unrighteous wretch !' responded 
 de Leon. 
 
 * Stop a moment,' muttered Pedrero. 
 
 This moment was spent in preparation. He poised the stone 
 in his right hand, thrust forward his right leg, with a tragedian 
 attitude, and lifting his hand, like a dying gladiator in his last 
 clutch toward his victim, prepared to fling the stone, now raised 
 uprightly in his dexter hand. 
 
 The priest had warmed a little in his discourse, and in some 
 ejaculation to Heaven had lifted his hand. . 
 
 ' Now's the time!' said de Leon. 
 
 No sooner said than done. El Pedrero lifted his hand yt 
 higher ; a slight whiz ! hummed over the heads of the multitude ; 
 and the Padre dropped down in his place, the blood streaming 
 from his forehead, and the air resounding with the lamentations 
 and groans of the assemblage.
 
 THE STONE-FLINGER OF CAM PEACHY. 333 
 
 Hundreds rushed to the pulpit. The Padre Raduan had fallen 
 by the hand of some vile assassin. The uproar was dreadful. 
 Men shouted, women shrieked and fainted ; emissaries were de- 
 spatched with the news of the Padre's death, (for he had expired 
 in his pulpit,) to the different churches of the city. All was 
 confusion. Ten minutes had not elapsed, when the bells of San 
 Jose, San Francisquito, San Juan de Dios, and the old Cathe- 
 dral of San Francisco, poured out upon the evening air their 
 full-volumed descommunion-dirge against the dire offender, the 
 Priest-slayer, the Unknown Man of Blood. 
 
 All was of no avail. The shouting multitudes, as they bore 
 away the dead body of the Padre, knew not of his murderer, 
 nor was ha ever identified. El Pedrero escaped, scot free. Is- 
 abella de Leon was satisfied, and her brother avenged. 
 
 Time would fail, should the writer of this hurried sketch at- 
 tempt to relate all the adventures of El Pedrero. He has 
 wrought ' twenty mortal murders' on as many crowns. Two 
 priests are among the victim's of his personal avarice, or hired 
 enmity. In all his adventures, no one has ever been able to 
 identify him. Testimony has been found useless against him. 
 With an omnipresent alibi, he has ever eluded the law ; and still 
 lives, to kill and to escape. 
 
 His last act was perpetrated at the corner of the Castle San 
 Pedro, (outside the walls of the city of Campeachy,) which di- 
 vides the district of Santa Anna and Guadaloupe. He drew a 
 stone from his doublet, and at the length of seven hundred yards 
 smote a priest on the breast, who is, in consequence, afflicted with 
 the asthma to this day. The secret of his power is known to 
 few, but his person is familiar with every Campechean. He 
 * bears a charmed life,' beyond the limits of the laws ; for such 
 is the incredible distance to which he can project a missile, that 
 it is a matter of impossibility to procure evidence against him. 
 His hand, or his employer's eye, can be only his witness. The 
 suspected terror of all, yet the accused of none, he sustains him- 
 self upon the fears of others. His interested friends are numer- 
 ous ; his employers the same ; and between them all, the Stone- 
 flinger lives, of late years, more like a prince, than the loafer 
 that he is. Wo to the head of that citizen who refuses him a 
 glass, call for it when he will ! His laws are Draconian, written 
 in blood ; and like that of the Medes and Persians, their code is 
 unalterable.
 
 334 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 THE IDEAL. 
 
 * OH, Spirit-Land ! thou land of Dreams ! 
 A world thou art, of mysterious gleams ; 
 Like a wizard's magic-glass thnu art, 
 Where the wavy shadows float by, and part. 
 Visions of aspects, now loved, now strange, 
 Glimmering and mingling in ceaseless change. 
 Thou art like the depths where the seas have birth, 
 Rich with the wealth that is lost from earth : 
 All the bright flowers of our days gone by, 
 And buried gems, in thy bosom lie.' 
 
 I AM a lover of the ideal. I bow to those enchantments of 
 the imagination, which come we know not whence or wherefore, 
 to awaken a few evanescent throbs of pleasure in the heart, and 
 to shed a few gushes of sunshine around the common walks of 
 this working-day world. I love to give myself up to the guid- 
 ance of my dreaming moods, and to say, ' Halloo, my fancy, 
 whither wilt thou go ?' I deem that the great charm of existence 
 lies, not in wailing because of the stern realities that we may not 
 shun, but in seeking those bright lapses in the stream of time, 
 illusive though they be, which sparkle into the soul with their ra- 
 diance, and cause every nerve to thrill with momentary enthusi- 
 asm. As sorrow sometimes rolls its unbidden blight over the 
 spirit, so does pleasure there pour its lustre ; and of neither the 
 one nor the other can we rightly discern the cause, commence- 
 ment, or end. How often will a cluster of hopes, gathering 
 thickly in the mind, clothed in hues of heaven, warm the bosom 
 into transports which have no definite origin, and can be traced 
 to none ; which fade by far too soon, and yet grow lovelier 
 while they fade ? 
 
 The shocks which our imaginary world sustains ; the earth- 
 quakes which devastate its glorious demesnes, and shake to 
 nothingness its thousand brilliant creations, are too frequent in 
 manhood to render the influence of the Ideal abiding. Its mag- 
 nificent pictures melt beneath the noontide of experience. We 
 know what we have been ; we see what we are ; and, contrasting 
 the raptures of the past with the faint visions of the present, are 
 led to feel, and deeply too, that the ' golden exhalations of our 
 dawn' were too beautiful for perpetuity. Some rude lesson from 
 men diminishes our rich amount of romance. Coldness, deceit, 
 the changes and forgetfulness of friendships that we deemed al- 
 most indestructible, admonish us with a voice stern and unrelent-
 
 ,ii THE IDEAL. 335 
 
 ing, that the radiance of ideality is limited to a narrow compass 
 in our being, and that we soon recede from that shore, 
 
 4 Where every scene is pleasant to the view, 
 And every rapture of the heart is new ; 
 Where on the land and wave a light is thrown, 
 Which to the morn of life alone is known ;' 
 
 and that, whether we will or no, those enchantments are eluding 
 our search, and those iris hues of delight rapidly ' evanishing 
 amid the storm.' 
 
 It is with the mind as with the sky ; continued brightness 
 would soon be wearisome. Like Macbeth, I have often been 
 ' a-weary of the sun.' 1 like those little passages of life which 
 break the self-deception of the soul, and lead me to contemplate 
 things as they are. This liking, too, is by no means incompati- 
 ble with a passion for the ideal, but rather identical with it. One 
 may give the reins to fancy, and journeying in thought from 
 heaven to earth and from earth to heaven, may enjoy the transit 
 without supposing it reality. This is, in my view, the acme of 
 day-dreaming. We are prepared to wake with new vigor from 
 the illusive reverie, fortified for the conflicts of the world ; for 
 we know that we can sometimes shake off the latter, and in the 
 twilights of spring or summer, or during the golden reign of 
 autumn, command the former at our will. It is by the cultiva- 
 tion of this spirit that the poet, the novelist, and the painter, have 
 depicted their best conceptions. Shutting out the world for the 
 nonce, yet retaining a sense of its continuance ; amid the urbane 
 resumptions of cigarillos, or pipe, or over-generous cordial, they 
 luxuriate and dream ; the air, the light, the view from an open 
 window of some pleasant landscape, minister to their quietude: 
 and thus, abstracted in meditation, they roll up the shadowy cur- 
 tains of Reality, and spread before their mental gaze an El Do- 
 rado and an Eden. 
 
 Somebody I believe it is Dr. Johnson pronounces books 
 to be dull friends. They may be so ; but they are glorious 
 companions. They can not lend one money, but they can en- 
 rich his mind with incorruptible and unalienable affluence. 
 They can confer in gorgeous profusion the vast estates of ide- 
 ality the dominions and principalities of thought. And while 
 they impart an enjoyment in all respects equal to worldly riches, 
 they inculcate no sordid selfishness ; they never contract the 
 heart; and they leave its genial avenues unclogged by envy; 
 unpolluted by pride ; for knowledge ever humbles its votaries, 
 even while it exalts them. 
 
 But there are some grievous disappointments to which itnagi-
 
 336 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 nation is subject ; namely, the changes that happen inevitably to 
 the romantic fancies derived from human annals, and which form 
 the ideal of history. We read of mighty conquerors and states- 
 men, who have made rivers run with blood, or thrilled senates 
 with resistless eloquence : we pore over the records of their lives 
 by some partial contemporary, until we deem them demi-gods. 
 We wish that we had lived in their day, and heard the rolling of 
 their chariot wheels, or the musical thunder of their periods. 
 Anon, we meet with authentic accounts of their private foibles, 
 their inglorious passions, their petty iniquities, until they diminish 
 in our eyes to the mere playthings of small impulses, the ignoble 
 puppets of Whim. We forget Cicero the orator, and find him 
 the puff-seeker of a friend, soliciting the hyperbole of praise in 
 an extravagant biography, and hinting at its reward. We see 
 monarchs bribing historians to give fair colors to their fame, or 
 posthumously shining in the doubtful authorship of an Ikon Bas- 
 ilike. 
 
 I have been marvellously shocked at the variations which have 
 passed over my imagination in reference to the great characters 
 of history. The trusty annalists who have dwelt more on their 
 private than their public course, have almost destroyed my 
 original portraits ; and although I began them fancifully ' in large,' 
 they have left them 'in little.' From the heroes and heroines of 
 Greece and Rome, down to the queens, ladies, kings, princes, 
 and knights of European dominions, there has passed away the 
 coleur de rose with which my fancy first invested them. They 
 have come to appear like common people to me, and the great- 
 ness they once wore to my spiritual eye, has gone like the pa- 
 geant of a vision. I can not cite many instances here, buj they 
 are as numerous as the leaves of history. 
 
 Among those great personages of historic fame, who have 
 swayed monarchies by their nod, or been closely allied to regnant 
 majesty, I look with the greatest interest upon those whose tastes 
 and judgment have connected them with the success of genius 
 and literature. I should like to have had a peep at that old 
 Tuscanian Macaenas, and witnessed the pleasures and the affluence 
 that he imparted to the gifted spirits by whom he was surround- 
 ed ; making the sweet Mantuan to 'possess himself in much 
 quietness,' and brightening the Sabine estate before the quick eye 
 of Horace, until that satirist felt almost ready to forswear his 
 haughty nil admirari. I should delight to have met them all 
 together over a glass of that ancient and mellow Falernian, which 
 Horace kept so long in his cellar, and felt upon my lips those 
 gouts of an inspiration that used to find its way so often into
 
 THE IDEAL. 337 
 
 deathless verse. But alas ! had I known them, I should doubt- 
 less have witnessed many a vulgar scene ; many tableaux vivants 
 of maudlin revellers, reposing under tables, quite overdone ; and 
 been haunted to my grave with an oft-recurring vision of broken 
 goblets, among lost streams of wine, rolling over the flooded 
 board, and wasting upon unmindful nostrils the odor of delicate 
 spices. 
 
 To those monarchical friends of talent, who have shone as 
 the patronizing beautifiers of our vernacular tongue, I have al- 
 ways looked in a kind of misty admiration. How have I filled 
 my fancy with pictures of Elizabeth, the rewarder of merit, the 
 learned lady, the favorite of the gentle Sidney, the friend of 
 Shakspeare ; and beyond all, according to some loyal chroniclers, 
 the possessor of that best religion ' which triumpheth upon pride, 
 and sits on the neck of ambition, humbly pursuing that infallible 
 perpetuity unto which all others must diminish their diameters, 
 and be poorly seen in angles of contingency.' I have painted 
 her in my thought as a tall majestic woman, with an eye which 
 warmed, while it awed the heart, and whose glance, pleasing, 
 and commanding homage, filled her court with reflected sunshine ; 
 her person stately as Juno, and marked by the befitting sweetness 
 of a gracious queen. I have almost doated on what I supposed 
 must have been about her smile. But like my fancy-sketch of 
 the great Russian Empress Catharine, the partial hues have van- 
 ished before the rays of truth, and the bright lineaments have 
 gone. I have fallen upon Paul Hentzner's ' Journey thoroughe 
 Englande,' in the year of grace M.D.XC.VIII. ; and ah, what 
 havoc hath he made ! Touching Elizabeth and her arrange- 
 ments, he speaketh thus : ' Her presence chamber was strewn 
 with ha.y, and therein were present the Archbishop of Canterbury, 
 Bishop of London, and so ; first went gentlemen, barons, earles, 
 knights, all richly dressed and bareheaded ; next wended the 
 chauncellour, with seals in a silk purse between two, one of 
 which carried the royal sceptre, the other y e sworde of State, in 
 a red scabbard, covered with fleurs de lis, and pointed upward. 
 Next came the Queen ; * * her face long and wrinkled, her eyen 
 small, but black and pleasaunt ; her nose a little hooked; her 
 lips narrow, and her teeth black, a defect whereunto the English 
 do seem subject, from their too great use of sugar. From her 
 ears did depend two pearls, with exceeding rich drops ; she did 
 wear false hair, and that red ; over which she had a small crown 
 of Lunenberg table gold : her bosom was uncovered ; thence 
 she was dressed in white silk, burdened with pearls, the size of 
 beans, over which was a black mantle.' 
 
 22
 
 33S PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 When I read this, good heaven ! what a pattern of female 
 grace and nobleness faded from my mind. This, then, was Eliz- 
 abeth ! The two portraits shown by Hamlet to his mother were 
 not more dissimilar than this and mine. Mine was a free draw- 
 ing ; Hentzner's an unquestioned original. And was this the 
 Queen for whom the bards of her day thought it an honor to 
 weave their lays ; and who considered it the summum bonum vita 
 to bask in her royal favor? Was this the peerless personage in 
 whose service the high-born Sidney fluttered and did the amiable ; 
 in whose cause he fought and died V The very same. Oh flesh ! 
 by partial pens how art thou glorified ! 
 
 Talking of Sidney, leads me to say, that his case is another 
 instance in my experience of the false Ideal. He has stood in 
 the mirage of my conception, a knight unparagon'd ; a poet as 
 full of personal grace as his verses are of beauty. He was the 
 favorite of the most intellectual court in Europe ; the mark and 
 model of his sex ; the cynosure of the ladies. He has appeared 
 to me, clothed in the purpureum lumen of nobility ; the valiant 
 oracle and pet of his fair sovereign ; walking and talking with 
 her, in English, French, Italian, Scotch, Dutch,* ' and so;' in. 
 fine, the very concrete of gentlemen. I have supposed him win- 
 ningly tall and majestic ; easy as Adonis ; with his lace points all 
 adjusted, and his bow superb. But Hentzner has dissolved the 
 vision, by furnishing an engraved portrait, undoubtedly authentic, 
 in which he is represented sitting clumsily on a bank, like a 
 shepherd of Arcady, with a form fat, oily, and burly, a bulbous 
 nose, a double chin, and eyes of a deplorably lack-lustre leer ! 
 I shall never think of Sidney as a perfect courtier and preux 
 chevalier again. 
 
 It were a grievous list indeed that should contain all those al- 
 terations which the stern pencil of truth has painted upon the 
 first pictures of great people in my mind. It has substituted the 
 coarse for the comely, and flung harsh shades over beauties of 
 sky-tinctured grain.' Warriors have dwindled into Lilliputians : 
 diplomatists into hair-brained invalids ; empresses into dowdies. 
 Taking a fancy view of the Duke of Wellington, across the At- 
 lantic, I have supposed him a lofty personage, six feet nine in his 
 boots, with an eye like Mars, and a curl of disdainful dignity in 
 his monstrous nose. But he is a little pocket edition of a man, 
 with a bended back, a countenance in no wise prepossessing, and 
 legs approximating to that parenthesis state called the bandy. 
 Julius Caesar! how the late describers of that man have unde- 
 ceived me ! 
 
 ELIZABETH understood all these languages.
 
 THE IDEAL. 
 
 
 Just so with Talleyrand. I thought him a diplomatic weazel; 
 ever wide awake, with ears erect, and ready to slip out of any 
 negotiation that the finesse of court forecaste or private instruc- 
 tions might suggest. But he is just the contrary. Instead of 
 being filled with deceitful animation, his visage is soporific ; his 
 manner languid, nay stupid ; and the last portrait the latest and 
 best, I suppose has sketched him asleep ! 
 
 But because history darkens my ideal, shall I refuse to chase 
 it ? No, by my halidome ! I love the journeyings of thought. 
 I will travel often over those exclusive railways of the mind ; 
 passing by castles, towers, lakes, wide-watered shores and splen- 
 did towns ; through fields made Champs Elysees by the poets, 
 and over hills renowned in song. I have seen those who sur- 
 passed my brightest beau-ideal living, moving, breathing, be- 
 ings. If I should see them again, something will have vanished 
 to break the charm to dissolve the spell. I choose to hug 
 these camera obscura pictures to my heart ; though with reference 
 to their characters, histories should be caught fibbing, and chron- 
 iclers be falsified.
 
 340 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 JOHN SMITH. 
 
 'men of pith, 
 
 Sixteen called Thompson, and nineteen named Smith.' 
 
 BYRON. 
 
 MY name is JOHN SMITH. The first important event of my 
 life was my birth ; but of that my reminiscences are faint, of 
 course. John Jenkins Smith was my father's name ; and, until 
 my twelfth year, I was called John Jenkins Smith, Junior ; the 
 middle appellation being in compliment to the sir-names of my 
 uncle and aunt, Increase and Abundance Jenkins. In the fitness 
 of time, my father deceased. He was an estimable individual, 
 and did a good business in the line of bar-spap ; the avails aris- 
 ing from the sale of which article created a decent competency 
 for the necessities of his surviving family. He was an industrious 
 man, with habits uncommonly domestic. My mother, nine broth- 
 ers, and seven sisters, lived to mourn his loss. 
 
 After the demise of my father, it was my mother's wish and 
 advice, that I should drop the Jenkins and the Junior from my 
 title, and adopt the simple cognomen of John Smith. Persua- 
 sion at last induced me to comply with her desires ; and dearly 
 have I paid for my acquiescence. The simplicity of the name 
 has been fruitful of mystery. Innumerable are the vexations and 
 difficulties into which it has led me. Were I to relate them, in 
 the swelling style of modern writers, I do verily believe that the 
 world would not contain my books. But the task is too formid- 
 able, even if I were fond of authorship, which, I thank heaven, I 
 am not. My name forbids the thought. The wise may cogi- 
 tate from the tripod, and the dunce twaddle on his stool. I 
 shall not arise to push them from their places. Save in the Di- 
 rectory and the census, I shall be nominis umbra. 
 
 Wjien one arrives in a large city, it is a common simile to 
 liken him to a drop of water falling into the ocean ; it mingles, 
 and is lost, in the vasty deep. So I found it, when I left my 
 native village * up the river' for the metropolis, in more ways than 
 one. I ascertained by a glance at the Directory, that I was one 
 among hundreds who bore my personal appellation. Having 
 passed my time from youth to early manhood in the country, the 
 bustle and buzz of a vast city like this almost drave me crazy. 
 Like John Jones, in the play of that name, ' I was excited.* 
 Forthwith I made my way to the Adelphi. I had a fair share of 
 money, and the picture of that hotel, hung in the steamboat cabin,
 
 JOHN SMITH. 341 
 
 had captivated my eye. Glancing at the travellers' book in the 
 bar-room, I perceived my name three times repeated. I began 
 to think myself of consequence. ' Doubtless,' said I, ' the sev- 
 eral coachmen who stood on the wharf with uplifted, beckoning 
 whips, awaited my commands, and who ascertained my destina- 
 tion, have come hither in advance, to record my arrival.' I was 
 unsophisticated in those days. Those things which we chew the 
 cud of wisdom withal, namely, eye-teeth, had not then been cut. 
 I thought, with a pleasing sensation, of the truth of the old poet's 
 remark, that one always finds ' the warmest welcome at an inn.' 
 
 Purposes of business brought me to town. It was my inten- 
 tion, after passing a year or two at mercantile apprenticeship in 
 the city, to become a country trader ; and I had resolved from 
 the first to make all the acquaintances I could. I was rejoiced 
 to hear, the morning after my arrival, that several persons whom 
 I did not see, had inquired after my health at the Adelphi. I 
 knew I had many friends who had come to the Great Babel be- 
 fore me ; but I had not the most distant suspicion that they would 
 remember the ' gawkey,' as they used to call me, whom they 
 knew at home. However, I solaced my mind with reflections 
 on my growing importance, and indulged myself in pleasing an- 
 ticipations of the success which these acquaintances would yet 
 induce for me. 
 
 I was fond of strolling through the 1 streets in the morning, 
 when the glitter and stir of fashion were abroad, and I never 
 failed to walk myself hungry before twelve o'clock. An adver- 
 tisement which I had inserted in the newspapers, of, ' Wants a 
 place, a young man from the country, with an extensive knowl- 
 edge of figures, who writes a good hand,' had been successful. 
 I had procured a situation, and was to enter upon its duties in a 
 fortnight. Of course, I was delighted; and remembering my 
 boyish scrape-maxim, 'Dum vivimus vivamusj I resolved to enjoy 
 my time. So, on each day at twelve o'clock, I was wont to re- 
 sort to one of those famous ordinaries in Broadway, where all 
 that the human appetite can crave is spread before the eye in 
 rich profusion. ' A fig for the expense,' said I, ' the things are 
 good, and I wish to make acquaintances for my employers.' 
 
 At the resort of which I am speaking, it seemed to me that all 
 the town convened. There, from eleven until five, were to be seen 
 vast numbers of voracious aldermen, and opulent good-livers, de- 
 vouring their respective lunches. Many a one of these, as he 
 came out, went along the streets with a pleased and satisfied 
 countenance, 
 
 Smiting his thigh, with blythe Apician glee, 
 And licking eke his lips, right beautiful to see.'
 
 342 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Of course, there were many faces that I came at last to know 
 4 passing well.' One individual, especially, in a suit of rusty 
 brown, a bell-crowned hat, and a bombazine stock of blue, used 
 every day to enter the apartment just at the time I did, and seat 
 himself at the marble table next me. By degrees, we became 
 slightly acquainted. Being a regular visitor, my name and lodg- 
 ings were soon known to the bar-keeper. One morning, the 
 man in brown picked up a letter from the floor under his table, 
 and asked me if I had dropped it. I told him I had neither 
 written nor lost any. 
 
 ' Very singular,' said he, without putting the epistle into my 
 hands ; ' I will make inquiries about it.' He showed it to the 
 keeper, who opened it, and after casting his eye down the page, 
 bowed politely to me, and said, * Certainly, certainly, with pleas- 
 ure.' The whole affair was an enigma ; but I was as green at 
 that time as a new-hatched gosling. Supposing the person had 
 mistaken his man, but not wishing to be outdone in courtesy, I 
 bowed and smiled in return. 
 
 Shortly after, when I had taken my usual meal, and was about 
 to render the trifling equivalent, the keeper said to me : 
 
 4 This is Mr. John Smith, I believe.' 
 
 * Yes, that is my name.' 
 
 ' Got a certain note about you ; the bill is all right ; put up 
 your money.' 
 
 I did n't understand him. 
 
 * You are Mr. John Smith, at the Adelphi ?' 
 ' Yes. I am at that hotel.' 
 
 ' Very well, my dear Sir, the note is accepted. Your bills are 
 paid until farther notice.' 
 
 ' Well, thought I, my friends are polite, that is truth. I have 
 almost the freedom of the city. How curiously agreeable ! I 
 continued to go for days and weeks together, and eat at this or- 
 dinary, * without money and without price.' He in the brown 
 coat was ever present. 
 
 At the end of the month, I received at my hotel a bill of forty 
 dollars, for edibles used at the ordinary aforesaid. I hurried to 
 the place, and demanded an explanation. I was informed that 
 the man in brown had given a letter to the keeper, under my very 
 nose, requesting lunches for two every morning, the bill to be 
 sent monthly to John Smith, at the Adelphi. References were 
 given, and had been answered, all by the same hand ! 
 
 It was a broad hoax; and after paying the money, as I was 
 obliged to do, (it was left ' to my honor ' that potent opener of 
 purse-strings,) I found that one of the three John Smiths whose
 
 JOHN SMITH. 
 
 names were written at the Adelphi, was a chevalier d'industrie, 
 who passed as my friend at the lunch, and my cousin John at 
 the hotel. He came down with me in the steam-boat. I never 
 saw him after he was ' blowcd.' This was the first practical attack 
 on my name ; but by how many dozens was it not the last ! Let 
 me go on. 
 
 There is scarcely any body who has not been in love, as often 
 as once, at least. I have had my flame, but my name quenched 
 it. About the third month of my mercantile apprenticeship, I 
 was induced on a certain evening to attend one of those convo- 
 cations, a sacred concert ; and at first sight, I became attached 
 to a lady who was attached to the choir. She looked like a di- 
 vinity, she sang like an angel. 
 
 I followed her to her house, when the concert broke up, to as- 
 certain her residence ; and from that time, my life was one wild 
 dream of suspense and passion. I used to see her every day or 
 two at the window, and sometimes at church. A good-looking 
 young man, who lodged at the Adelphi, and for whom I had 
 often been taken, seemed to be pursuing the same object. When 
 I went in that direction, he generally walked a few yards behind 
 me, as constant to my trip, as the shadow to the substance ; but 
 as he went beyond, I supposed he had friends farther on, in the 
 same street ; for he passed the house, whereas I saw nothing 
 worth a step beyond, and used to ' wheel about' like a militia- 
 man, directly in front of the domicil, when my eye had drunk in 
 its dizzy poison from the window. One evening, just at twilight, 
 I saw my Adelphi friend standing on the steps of my lady's 
 dwelling. Good heavens ! Perhaps he knew her. I sought my 
 hotel with a spirit of envy, that I find it hard to describe. Was 
 that man my rival ? 
 
 The next day I received a scented note, in a fine crow-quill 
 hand, which ran as ensueth : 
 
 'No. , Street. 
 
 ' MY DEAR JOHN : We do not know each other well, for we have been 
 thwarted by the presence of untoward circumstances ; but surely, my dear, 
 my only John, the language of my eyes must have convinced you that 
 since we first met, my heart has been wholly yours. Come to-morrow 
 evening at eight, and in a walk of a few moments, I will convince you, if 
 words can do it, of the unalterable affection of your devoted 
 
 CATHARINE WALLACE. 
 JOHN SMITH, Esq., Adelphi.' 
 
 I have a notion that my punctuality the next evening was a 
 model of mercantile precision. As the town-clocks were clang- 
 ing eight, my hand was on the knocker of the Wallace door. A 
 very attentive * color' person' answered my call, and in a moment
 
 344 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 after my inquiry, the arm of Miss Wallace was in mine, trembling 
 with hurry and agitation. We walked for the space of nearly ' a 
 block,' without the utterance of any thing but low interjections 
 of pleasure, and an occasional remark upon that inexhaustible 
 subject, the weather. 
 
 We turned into Broadway. Here, in the blaze of gas lights,. 
 we met abruptly, two gentlemen, who turned after passing us, 
 and striding hastily a few paces before, like Othello's lady, they 
 ' turned again,' and as I was on the point of pouring out some 
 tender sayings, one of the fellows, staring at the face of my fair 
 companion, exclaimed : 
 
 ' Good gracious ! Miss Wallace, is that you ?' 
 
 It was my tracking friend, of the Adelphi. I knew his voice- 
 instantly. The lady dropped my arm, as if she had received a 
 death-shot. 
 
 * Why are you walking with this man, and how did you come to. 
 know him ?' Miss Wallace answered with a faltering voice, that 
 she did not know me, but had mistaken me for himself. ' Dear 
 John,' said she, did you not get my note this morning? I ex- 
 pected you to walk with me, and not a person with whom I have 
 no acquaintance whatever.' 
 
 Guess my surprise. I was, as the Kentuckians phrase it, ' an 
 entire stranger.' The gallant began to bluster. 
 
 'Will you--just permit me to ask you,' said he 
 to me, cocking his hat fiercely o' one side, and drawling his 
 words, sotto voce, through his set teeth, ' who the devil you are V 
 what you are here for ? what's your name ? and what you are 
 after 1 ? (syncopating the last word with a broad inflection of the 
 first syllable.) I have seen you at the Adelphi, and I begin to 
 think you are a puppy.' 
 
 ' Puppy, I am none,' said I coolly, for I hate fighting, ' and 
 my being with this lady at present, is the result of concert. I re- 
 ceived a note from her this morning, requesting an interview.' 
 
 ' Liar !' said the gentleman. 
 
 ' That phrase,' I responded meekly, ' would not be borne, if I 
 considered you a good judge of the truth in the present case. I 
 happen to have the note in my pocket, Sir ; and as you are very 
 inquisitive, let me return the compliment, and ask your name ?' 
 
 ' My name, sa ; I am not ashamed of my name, sa, as you ap- 
 pear to be of yours ; my name, sa, is JOHN SMITH !' 
 
 'And so is mine. Here's the heart of the mystery. I see at 
 once that the similarity of our names has been the cause of this 
 error. Your note fell into my hands. I never spoke to this 
 lady, before to-night, in all my life, though I have for some time' 
 occasionally seen and admired her, at a distance.'
 
 JOHN SMITH. 
 
 We were friends in a moment. The young damsel had acci- 
 dentally made his acquaintance, a week or two previously, after 
 an extensive interchange of oglings, at churches, and other public 
 resorts, and they were, it was plain to see, quite desperate with 
 each other. I could not help comparing myself to the man in 
 the play, whose servant says to him ; ' Maister, ar' n't your name 
 Gregory ?' ' Yes, Sir R. Gregory.' * So is mine.' ' Ah, then 
 your name is similar.' ' No, master, my name ar' n't Similar, 
 my name 's Gregory !' 
 
 These amusing reflections were but a momentary gleam of 
 sunshine on the cloud which darkened my spirit. My dream of 
 love was broken. Another John Smith had stepped into my 
 bower of hope, and plucked the brightest rose it ever grew. I 
 became ' melancholy and gentleman-like ;' went to conventicles 
 with great regularity, and .read a multitude of books. By de- 
 grees I began to have quite a passion for literature, and tried my 
 hand in the light department, as a producer. With the assistance 
 of Ossian, and a rhyming dictionary, I made some poetry, and 
 sent it to a popular weekly journal. It was entitled 'A River 
 Scene,' and bore for its motto the following couplet from some 
 grand inconnu : 
 
 "T is sweet, upon the impassioned wave, 
 To watch the little fishes swim.' 
 
 Ambitious of distinction, I wrote my name in full at the top of 
 the piece. What kind of reception, think you, did it encounter ? 
 Reader, read: ' 
 
 JOHN SMITH'S poetry is received, and has gone to that vast receptacle 
 of things lost for the present upon earth, on the cover of which it is thus 
 written : ' Rejected Balaam : Clauduntur in csternam noctem." 1 We would 
 advise John Smith to give up his visions of fame. Let them dissolve into 
 airy nothing, for they produce nothing, and out of nothing, nothing comes. 
 No man, with exactly his two names, need expect glory below the sun. 
 The last one is not the objection ; for the Jones's, the Browns, Thompsons, 
 and Jacksons, with many other names, might compete with it in point of 
 numbers ; but the baptismal prefix of John, makes the title no name at all ; 
 and thus, if we mistake not, has the matter been ruled in courts of justice. 
 We beg our correspondent to drop either the lyre or his name ; for he will 
 labor in vain for renown, unless he prays the legislature for a divorce from 
 his present cognomen. 
 
 4 John Smith, John Smith, oh Pho3bus ! what a name 
 To fill the speaking trump of future fame!' 
 
 This unequivocal compliment almost extinguished my lyrical 
 propensities. I was convinced that John Smith would never 
 make any respectable sensation in literature. Cruel thought ! A 
 rose would smell as sweet, according to Shakspeare, even if it 
 were called ipecacuanha, as by any other name. Why then,
 
 346 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 from such a cause, should a barrier be placed against the aspira- 
 tions of an ambitious mortal ? The idea was not endurable. I 
 determined to be even with the editor who had so crucified my 
 lines. A rival publication had offered prizes for an Essay, a 
 Tale, and some poetry. It wanted a month before the meeting 
 of the committee. I spent a fortnight on one poem. The paper 
 in question was great in a small way, and bore on its cover a 
 learned motto, ' from the Greek of Alcaeus.' The time arrived ; 
 the committee convened ; the award was made ; and what was my 
 delight on reading in the public journals the following announce- 
 ment: 
 
 'NOTICE. 
 
 4 THE committee appointed to examine the pieces of prose and poetry, 
 designed for the prizes in the ' Oriental Olympiad and Weekly Sunburst,' 
 beg leave to report, that after a close examination of the matters confided to 
 their discrimination, they have come to a decision. Private notice has al- 
 ready been made to the modest and successful authors of the Essay and 
 Tale. Before giving the name of the victorious writer of the poem to the 
 world, the committee desire to state, that with reference to the two baskets 
 of accepted and rejected productions, now in the office of the Sunburst, 
 they cannot make a more fitting comparison, than by likening them to the 
 figs of Jeremiah ; (Jer. xxiv. 2.) * One basket had very good figs, even like 
 the figs that are first ripe ; and the other basket had very naughty figs, 
 which could not be eaten, they were so bad.' The committee now pro- 
 ceed, with a feeling of serene and solemn exultation, to commit to the pub- 
 lic eye at this era, and to that which shall lift its lid in future ages, the 
 name of the distinguished person who has won the guerdon of twenty-five 
 dollars, and a year's gratuitous subscription to the Olympiad and Sunburst. 
 It is JOHW SMITH, Esq., of New- York. He will readily comprehend his pu- 
 tative identity, when the committee remark, that his effusion commences 
 with a spirited invocation to the Nine. The committee will be prepared to 
 meet him, and to administer into bis hands the twenty-five dollars, and a 
 year's receipt for the popular journal aforesaid, on Tuesday evening next, 
 at six o'clock, in the saloon of the City Hotel. That the author may be 
 received without the embarrassment of self-introduction, he is requested to 
 wear a white favor in the lappel button-hole of his coat ; whereupon, on his 
 entrance, he will be introduced to the company, and receive the pecuniary 
 tribute due to his extraordinary genius. Many ladies, amateurs, and litera- 
 ry gentlemen, will be present. 
 
 Nov. 25. eod. ass. dtf. 1 
 
 I read this notice over at least forty times, before the appointed 
 evening. On that day, after dinner, I dressed with studied neat- 
 ness, and turning down my collar, a la Byron, brushed my red- 
 dish locks, Apollo-like, around my forehead, in a style of sub- 
 lime confusion, and awaited with a palpitating bosom the proud 
 moment when I should enter the saloon. I paused some thirty 
 minutes after the appointed time, so that expectation should be 
 on tiptoe. At last I sallied forth, and with a queer feeling of 
 transport opened the door of the saloon and entered. There
 
 JOHN SMITH. 347 
 
 was a collection of people ; and at one side of the room, like 
 stinted wall-flowers, stood a Jine of wo-begone-looking individuals, 
 to the number of fifteen, each with a white favor in his bosom, 
 but with slick diversified garments ! * Motley was their only 
 wear.' I was surprised, bewildered. At the request of the com- 
 mittee, tendered through their chairman, I took my station ' in 
 line.' A subdued snicker ran through the room, as two more 
 persons, bearing white favors, entered, and stepped by direction 
 into the ranks below me. I stole a glance at my comrades. 
 They were silent, grim, and sad to see. We all of us looked 
 like a small company, detailed for private exercise, from ' the 
 great army of martyrs.' 
 
 At last the chairman rose, and waving his hand loftily, said : 
 * An unexpected duty, ladies and gentlemen, devolves upon the 
 humble person who now addresses you. Called to my office at 
 a moment of peculiar excitement, I wish to discharge its duties 
 with approval. I expected to-night, in the presence of you all, 
 to pay a delegated honor to the genius of one bright son of song. 
 But I am obliged to select him from yon troop of tuneful worthies 
 now arranged before the assembly, every one of whom, by a 
 singular concatenation of parental tastes, bears the name of John 
 Smith ? 
 
 I could have evaporated through the key-hole. My first im- 
 pulse was to cut and run. A second thought told me, / might be 
 the John Smith, and I determined to see the farce out. 
 
 * In this state of uncertainty,' continued the chairman, ' the 
 only method of arriving at the successful author is to read the 
 accepted lines.' 
 
 He began to read them with the lungs of a Stentor, and the 
 gestic grace of an elephant. They were not mine, that was cer- 
 tain; poor, drawling, spiritless stanzas, mere verbiage to mine. 
 My contempt for the committee was unbounded. 
 
 But a person now jumped out from our row, with the quick- 
 ness of a Narraganset pacer ; bowed, was identified as the au- 
 thor, and took his perquisites. When he wheeled again, and 
 made a derisive inclination of the head to the rest of us unsuc- 
 cessful essayists, I did instantly, by the sinister smirk of his face, 
 recognise the ecstatic entity. It was the rascal in brown, whose 
 bill I had paid at the lunch ! 
 
 I remember little of the occasion after this. I only recollect 
 that some of the ' great rejected' swore with emphasis, that they 
 had been sadly misused. Each man contended for the peculiar 
 merit of his own composition, every one of which, even to the en- 
 tire eighteen, opened with an appeal to the muse for assistance.
 
 348 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 One man, who seemed a little excited with wine, declared that 
 ' he came there for the prize, and the prize he would have ; he 
 had already engaged a supper below, for himself and a few friends, 
 on the strength of the prize ; ' and I would like to know,' he 
 added, with a sardonic grin of defiance, ' who in the name of 
 Parnassus is a-going to pay the bill ? My heart is heaving and 
 bursting with emotion. What is to requite us all for our disap- 
 pointment ? 
 
 4 OF our soul-stirring hopes we are in at the death, 
 
 And we stand, as in battle array, 
 To find our renown but a bodiless breath, 
 
 That vanisheth away !' ' 
 
 ' Messieurs Smith,' said the chairman, entirely disregarding the 
 loquacious member, * you are dismissed. Your badges, beside 
 being emblems of peace, which will prevent any wranglings 
 among yourselves, are also signs that you feel independent, and 
 ask no favors? Here the company laughed, in the manner of a 
 certain popular actress, ' like hyenas.' 
 
 How the company broke up, I know not. I was the first at 
 the door, and walked up Broadway with my hat in my hand, al- 
 though the weather was drizzling. I have never entirely recov- 
 ered from the acidity of spirit which that sore discomfiture entail- 
 ed upon me. I had been crossed in love and literature ; and my 
 coming days seemed only to me, a helpless wanderer on the 
 ocean of time, like ' breakers ahead.' And so they have proved. 
 I have been advertised in the newspapers ; persecuted by fe- 
 males whom I knew not ; had callow bantlings laid on my door- 
 steps. In short, I have suffered every thing but death ; and all 
 for my name. In vain do I attempt to console myself, by think- 
 ing of one great name like mine, the captain, who was saved by 
 the Indian girl, Pocahontas, and two that are ' similar,' the re- 
 nowned Horace and James, the wittiest men living. I am still 
 plodding along the vale of existence, looking at the bright steep 
 of fame in the distance, knowing it ' impossible to climb.' My 
 name hangs to my tail as heavy as the stone of Sysiphus. I al- 
 most wish I was entirely defunct. 
 
 Having long ago removed from the Adelphi, in consequence 
 of a ' collapse' in its prosperity, I have got a home of my own, 
 and am well to do in the world. But I am not happy. I disburse 
 the postage for a weekly mass of letters, of which three in five 
 are intended for others. I read notices concerning me, hyme- 
 neal and obituary, several times in a month. I have been waited 
 upon simultaneously, by persons who had come to wish me joy, 
 in the expectancy of a punch-drinking, and by rival tomb-stone
 
 JOHN SMITH. 349 
 
 Butters, desirous of a job * to my memory,' from the surviving 
 members of my bachelor household. I pay twice my own 
 amount of bills. A John Smith lives next door, to whom half 
 my choice rounds and sirloins, selected personally in the market, 
 for I love good provant, are sent without distinction. My name is 
 a bore, and my life a burden. Touching the debts I have paid, 
 which were not my own, they have harassed me beyond measure. 
 Such is the perplexity arising from their constant and unavoida- 
 ble occurrence, that I begin to think myself a member of that 
 class of reprobates, mentioned by St. Paul, in his Epistle to the 
 Romans, who have been given up by Divine Providence, ' to do 
 those things which are not convenient? Heartily do I wish I 
 could do as the Druids of old did, who contracted earthly debts 
 for themselves and others, and gave promissory notes, payable in 
 the other world. 
 
 But I forbear to recite my infelicities. I skip over some hun- 
 dreds, and come to the latest. Yesterday morning the following 
 police report met my eye : 
 
 'JoHN SMITH, a new offender, was on Monday last committed to Bride- 
 well, charged with having stolen several descriptions of clothes from various 
 hotels in Broadway. He formerly made his home at the Adelphi, where 
 lie practised his light fingered arts for a considerable time. He was at one 
 period ' well-off,' and lived in Broadway, but his thieving propensities have 
 brought him up, at last, to a full stop. Bail having been procured, he is 
 now at large, but so well known, that his career is now comparatively 
 harmless.' 
 
 This is the latest, but not the last. I have met scores of ac- 
 quaintances since yesterday, and they all shun me as if they 
 scented in my garments the air of a jail ; all but one puppy, and 
 he asked me ' when I got out !' There is ample botheration in 
 store for me. Its kind I know not, but the quantity must be 
 enormous. I will bear it no longer. I have booked myself for 
 Albany to-morrow ; and if I am not released from my name by 
 the House, I will go, for refuge, to that narrow house appointed 
 for all living ; and on my tomb-stone shall be recorded, in good 
 * slap-up' Latin, ( Sic transit tristitia Johannes SmithiT
 
 350 THOSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 THE SNAKE EATER. 
 
 ' Some strange commotion 
 
 Is in his brain : he bites his lip, and starts ; j . 
 
 Stops on a sadden, looks upon the ground, 
 
 Then lays his finger on his temple ; straight 
 
 Springs out into fast gait; then stops again, 
 
 Strikes his breast hard ; and then anon he casts 
 
 His eye against the moon ; in most strange posture 
 
 We have seen him set himself.' 
 
 SHAKS : HENRY Vm. 
 
 A FEW years ago, near the sunset of an autumnal day, I 
 reached a populous town on the banks of the Mississippi. An 
 accident to the steam-boat, wherein I had embarked, and by which 
 many lives were lost through the carelessness of an ignorant and 
 drunken engineer, had compelled the directors of the boat to stop 
 with the remaining company, and repair the damages that had 
 occurred. 
 
 Alas ! there were damages and evils on board that unpretend- 
 ing craft, which were beyond the reach of mechanist or chirur- 
 geon. The dead were strewing the deck ; fragments of the 
 boiler, and broken wheels, were lying around ; and masses of 
 soot and cinders from the unclean pipes blackened the deck. 
 On every side were corpses, and wailing friends, and tearful eyes. 
 A few settees had been brought up from the cabin, and on the 
 mattresses with which they were covered, the dead were laid. It 
 was an awful scene. Two hours before, all was well ; and every 
 heart seemed bounding with the rapid impulse of life and hope. 
 I myself escaped by a miracle. I was seated at the stern of the 
 boat, near the end window of the cabin, over the rudder, watch- 
 ing, as is my wont, to see the turbulent waters boil around the 
 keel, and mark the landscape flit by and recede. A noise like 
 an earthquake, which made the shuddering boat recoil many 
 yards ; a rush of hot steam through the broken windows ; the hiss- 
 ing of the pieces from the boiler, as they dropped into the river ; 
 and after one sad pause of an instant, the shrieks and groans of 
 the dead and dying, and the surviving mourners ; these wer*e the 
 signs which betokened the appalling disaster, and convinced me 
 visibly, for the first time, what a vast amount of pain and misery 
 can be crowded into a passing moment. 
 
 It is a sight of horror to behold the strong man smitten down 
 in his might ; to see the pride of womanhood defaced and blighted
 
 THE SNAKE EATER. 351 
 
 by sudden death ; to hear the lamentations of grief and despair, 
 where but a little time before were heard the light laugh of 
 pleasure, and the tones of delight. How distant was the thought 
 of harm, from each and all ! Truly it is said by the great bard 
 of nature, ' We know what we are, but not what we shall be.' 
 We weave the garlands df joy, even by the precipice of death ; 
 we disport in the sunbeam, unmindful of the storm that is boom- 
 ing afar, and will soon be at hand ! 
 
 The sun descended as we entered the town, which was situated 
 on ascending grounds near the river. A swell of upland, over- 
 looking near at hand a few patches of green, which I took to be 
 cotton fields, and which apparently commanded an extended 
 view of the shores and course of the great Father of Rivers, 
 stretched rearward from the place. Overcome with excitement 
 and gratitude for my deliverance, and seeing also that there 
 had thronged to the wharf a large number of citizens, sufficient 
 for every purpose of charitable assistance toward the sufferers, 
 and the dead on board of the steam-boat, I selected that portion of 
 my luggage which had not been destroyed, and after seeking an 
 hotel, made the best of my way to the upland of which I have 
 spoken. I felt like one snatched from the grave ; and deeply 
 impressed with the sense of the danger from which I had escaped, 
 through the watchfulness of a benignant Providence, I determined 
 to seek some haunt of retirement, and quiet my agitated spirits 
 with thankful meditation. 
 
 When I gained the eminence, I found that the view was cal- 
 culated to heighten and expand all the feelings with which my 
 heart was surcharged, to the overflow. A few gorgeous clouds, 
 bedight in crimson and purple, were sailing in glory along the 
 melancholy west ; dark cypresses, hung to their tops with trailing 
 clusters of wild vine, colored with mingled violet, amber, and 
 emerald, stood in relief before the horizon ; while afar, on either 
 hand, the great Mississippi was seen rolling along with a kind of 
 quivering radiance, and exhibiting, even at that distance, the tur- 
 bulent might, which makes it seem like a prostrate Niagara. At 
 a distance, in each extremity of the view, it was lost in dark 
 woods and misty head-lands ; an emblem, most striking at the 
 moment, of that obscurity which, like the shadow-curtain in the 
 vision of Mirza, overhung the stream of life and time, making of 
 the Past a dream, and of the Future a vast unknown. 
 
 It is impossible to describe the sensations which animate the 
 bosom of an American, as he looks at this running ocean, and the 
 long, long rale through which it rolls. He gazes onward with 
 the eye of anticipation to the not distant period, when that al-
 
 352 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 most interminable stretch of landscape shall become bright with 
 towns, and vocal with the sounds of human industry ; when the 
 busy hum of scholars at their tasks, of artists at their labors, of 
 the husbandman folding his flocks, or garnering the rich treasures 
 of the harvest, shall succeed the moanings of the cypress, and the 
 mingled bowlings of roaming beasts of prey, and yet wilder In- 
 dians ; when the light of civilization and religion shall extend 
 over forests and savannahs, until the progress of our people 
 through the dominions of the receding Aborigines, shall be, in 
 ^he expressive words of Scripture, 'as the morning spread upon 
 the mountains : a great people, and a strong ; of whom there 
 hath not been ever the like, neither shall be any more after it, to 
 the years of many generations.' 
 
 As I turned to survey the prospect, I saw at no great distance 
 from the spot where I stood, a white tent, or pavillion, surmount- 
 ed with a parti-colored flag, which was waving in the evening 
 breeze, and on which I read the words, ' THE SNAKE EATER.' 
 The tent was open on one side like a door, before which there 
 was a curtain. Benches were placed in an amphitheatrical form 
 before the tent, which were then filling with people. The faint 
 glimmer of an early lamp was perceivable behind the dark cur- 
 tain ; and, moved with curiosity, I bent my steps toward the as- 
 semblage. I paid the requisite sum to the person who kept the 
 gate of a picket-fence which surrounded the amphitheatre, and 
 took my seat among the crowd, in the open air. 
 
 Twilight had now set in, and the twinkling of the stars could 
 be seen on the broad bosom of the Mississippi, as it moved in 
 noiseless solemnity toward the ocean. The cypresses assumed 
 the semblance of weird and ghastly. forms against the sky ; and 
 the occasional sweep of a belated hawk from the far-off prairies, 
 with his dismal scream, gave token that the day had died, and 
 that its dirge was sounding. 
 
 Presently, at the tinkle of a little bell, the curtain of the tent 
 was lifted. A young man was seated at a table, with a box be- 
 fore him, covered with glass, and apparently subdivided into two 
 or more drawers. He seemed about eight-and-twenty years of 
 age ; his face was thin, and a leaden wanness overspread his fea- 
 tures ; but his sunken eye had that supernatural brightness so 
 often seen in the eyes of the consumptive. His voice, though 
 faint, was musical, but interrupted by an occasional cough ; and 
 as he removed his cravat, and turned his wristbands over the cuffs 
 of his coat, he said : 
 
 * The company has assembled to see the Snake Eater. If any 
 one wishes to satisfy himself with regard to the reptile which I
 
 THE SNAKE EATER. 353 
 
 am now about to devour, in the presence of you all, and to re- 
 store again from my throat, alive, he will please draw nigh.' 
 
 He turned the closed cover of the box over toward the au- 
 dience, as he made this observation, and disclosed to the sight a 
 hideous rattlesnake. It was coiled ; and when disturbed, eleva- 
 ted it spiry head from its circle, and while its forked tongue play- 
 ed with a rapid motion, it darted against the glass in vain attempts 
 to escape, while its rattles continued to quiver, with a violent and 
 whizzing sound, accompanied by that apparent flattening of the 
 head, which denotes the highest pitch of resentment. Its dilated 
 eye shot fire ; and the coarse scales on its contorted form grew 
 rugged in its anger. 
 
 After this expose, the Snake Eater placed the box in its original 
 position. A chilly shudder ran through the assembly, when, af- 
 ter turning his back to the beholder, he bent his face for a mo- 
 ment at the edge of one of the drawers, with a kind of chuckling 
 sound, and drew forth the horrid reptile with his hand. The 
 snake now seemed languid and passive, though the rattles, con- 
 tinued to sound. He placed the head of the venomous serpent 
 to his lips ; he opened his mouth, and the long spire began to de- 
 scend. It was an appalling sight to see that huge monstrum hor- 
 rendum making his way into the throat of a human being. The 
 cheeks of the young man began to dilate, and his complexion be- 
 came a livid purple. His eyes seemed bursting from their sock- 
 ets ; masses of foam gathered about his lips, and he looked as 
 if in the severest struggles of the last mortal agony as if 'tast- 
 ing of death.' Several of the audience shrieked with affright. 
 
 After apparently mumbling and crunching his fearful meal, the 
 Snake Eater again partially opened his lips, and the forked tongue 
 of the reptile was seen playing, like threads of bright red fire, be- 
 tween them. Presently it began to emerge. It moved very 
 slowly, as if held back by other serpents that had preceded it, in 
 the awful deglutition of its master. As the long, loathsome folds 
 hung from his lips, and continued to extend, the features of the 
 Snake Eater assumed their wonted aspect ; and in a moment, the 
 reptile had emerged, was re-placed in the box, and the feat was 
 accomplished. 
 
 After seating himself for a few seconds, to recover from the 
 perilous execution of his task, the Snake Eater arose and ad- 
 dressed the audience. He desired them to believe that he had 
 wished not to appal, but to surprise them. There was, he ac- 
 knowledged, an art in what he had done, but it was a mysterious 
 and undiscoverable one. ' They call me mad,' he added, bit- 
 terly, and a conjurer ; but a conjurer I am none, and though I 
 
 23
 
 364 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 have been mad, I am not now ; yet often do I wish I were. You 
 will denominate my calling one of foolish hazard, and perhaps of 
 disgust ; but did you know all, you would judge of me better. I 
 thank you for your attendance ; and if I have succeeded in sur- 
 prising you, my aim has been won.' 
 
 The audience, in the enthusiasm of western feeling, gave the 
 performer three hearty cheers, and retired with wonder-stricken 
 faces. I lingered behind until the last had departed, and step- 
 ped into the tent, where the Snake Eater had drawn a few eatables 
 from his knapsack, which he was discussing with considerable 
 relish. I found him sociable, but sad. By degrees, my obser- 
 vations excited a sympathy in* his mind ; and, as we sat, toward 
 midnight, in his solitary house of canvass, the dark Mississippi 
 rolling below, the pale stars fretting the vault above, and the far 
 West stretching in dimness around, he thus began : 
 
 THE SNAKE EATER*S STORY. 
 
 ' I AM not, my friend, what you see me. Though regarded here- 
 about as one who has dealings with ' familiar spirits and wiz- 
 ards,' I am only a heart-broken man, the child of sorrow, and al- 
 most without hope. I do not speak thus for your sympathy ; for 
 human sympathy can at best but awaken afresh the wells of 
 mournful tenderness in my breast, without pouring one ray of 
 sunshine upon the troubled fountains ; they must flow on in 
 darkness, without a prospect of day. Listen to me. 
 
 * Eight short years ago, with the spirit of adventure stirring 
 within me, I came as it were directly from the walls of a univer- 
 sity, in one of the Atlantic states, to this ' far country.' I came 
 with prodigal endowments from my father ; and seeking the then 
 frontiers of civilization, embarked in trade with settlers and In- 
 dians. I bought furs and sold all kinds of mercantile riches. I 
 prospered ; my capital re-doubled itself, and in all respects was 
 prosperous. You may perhaps desire to know my motive for 
 thus leaving the charms of society, and seeking the seclusion of 
 the wilderness. It was the strongest of motives, human affection. 
 An uncle had preceded me. He had a ward, to whom I had 
 been deeply and devotedly attached from my childhood. She 
 was the paragon of her sex. I speak not as a rhapsodist, or with 
 enthusiasm ; for the loveliest being that ever came from the 
 hands of God into this lower world could not excel her for 
 bqauty. She made that beauty perfect, by the graces of a mind, 
 pure and clear as the forming diamond. Her voice was melody ; 
 her smile a burst of living and pearly light ; and her calm blue
 
 THE SNAKE EATER. 355 
 
 eyes were the sweet expositors of a sinless affection. The young 
 peach, when the airs and beams of summer have awakened its 
 ripening blushes, or the pomegranate, as it glows among leaves 
 that tremble to the rich chant of the nightingale, surpassed not 
 her cheeks, for bloom or loveliness, when her fair hair was divi- 
 ded on her brow, and fell in masses of waving and silken gold 
 around them. Truly, I loved her with my whole soul. She was 
 my idol ; my cynosure ; the centre of every desire, and the ob- 
 ject of every aspiration. 
 
 4 We were married. Time went on, and brought me a bud 
 from the rose that I had established in my green bower of home. 
 We were blest indeed. Aloof from society, though we missed a 
 few of its luxuries, we suffered none of its vexatious and demor- 
 alizing corruptions. On Sabbath days, we rode many miles 
 through the wilderness, to worship our Maker in his sanctuary, 
 and hear the word of life from the lips of those who journeyed 
 through the forest on missionary enterprises, and for the edifica- 
 tion of the believing ; ambassadors from a court, of which the 
 most noble court on earth affords not the faintest emblem. 
 
 * On the day that our dear little Sarah attained her second 
 year, she was seated by my counter, and her mother was stand- 
 ing by, when three fierce-looking Indians entered the store. 
 They had evidently travelled a long way, for their leggins were 
 torn and dirty, and their feet were almost bare. I recognised 
 one of them instantly, as The Crouching Wolf, a desperate being, 
 who hung alternately around the skirts of the settlements, begging 
 for rum, or getting it in barter for small peltry, which he obtained 
 in the chase. Just one year before, he had visited me for the 
 purpose of procuring the fire-water, or ardent spirit. I refused 
 him, and he left me with a vow of future vengeance. 
 
 "Hoogh!' said he, as he reeled up, with his gruff-looking 
 companions, toward the counter, where my child was playing, 
 and my wife stood : ' The Crouching Wolf said he would come 
 back. He wants the talking water; he wants that or revenge. 
 He will have one !' 
 
 ' I tried to reason with him, but he was deaf to reason. He 
 had already tasted from the flagon of one of his red comrades, 
 and the fumes were in his brain. 
 
 ' 'Come, medicine-man, the Wolf wants the fire-milk. Where 
 is it ? He can not wait. His spirit is up, and his forehead is 
 warm/ 
 
 I saw he grew desperate, but my resolution was fixed : I 
 sternly denied him. It was a fatal denial. 
 
 ' He stepped back a few paces, growled some gututral senten-
 
 356 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ces to his companions, and the three then advanced toward my 
 child. I was motionless, and paralyzed with terror. As the 
 Wolf approached my daughter, he drew a tomahawk from his 
 belt, and flourished it on high. I sprang toward him, but was 
 pushed back by his companions. The dear innocent, unaffright- 
 ed, smiled in the face of the Crouching Wolf, and it seemed as 
 if the cheerful purity of her look stayed his vengeful arm. He 
 paused, until a scream from the mother aroused the terror of her 
 first-born. She shrunk back from the relentless savage, while 
 her mother was kept, like myself, at bay, and while her sweet red 
 lip, chiselled like her mother's, was quivering with dismay, she 
 said in childish simplicity : 
 
 ' ' Naughty Indian ; if he hurts Sarah, ma will be angry, and 
 punish him.' As she said this, she burst into tears her last for 
 
 ever 
 
 ' In an instant, the trenchant weapon of the infuriated Indian 
 clove in sunder the head of my babe ; in the next, his excited 
 comrades had murdered the wife of my bosom. I have an in- 
 distinct and horrid remembrance of my burning store ; the red 
 fiends yelling over the consuming roof and walls ; my escape to 
 the forest ; the rest was but silence and oblivion. I was a mad- 
 
 man 
 
 ' Ten months after, I found myself in New-Orleans. I had 
 reached the city, no one knew how ; had been conveyed to a 
 hospital, kindly treated, and discharged as cured ; but an out- 
 cast and a beggar. Misfortunes seldom come singly. My father 
 had died ; and as I had already received my share of his estate, 
 the residue melted away among a host of brothers. My inherit- 
 ance had been destroyed by the Indians. I was without a home 
 or a friend. 
 
 ' How I subsisted, I scarcely know. At last, as I was one 
 day walking on the levee, I saw a group collected around an In- 
 dian, who was performing certain tricks from a box, with a rat- 
 tlesnake. It was the Crouching Wolf. 
 
 ' * The murderer of my wife and child !' I exclaimed, as I pen- 
 etrated through the ring, and with one huge blow felled the vile 
 monster to the earth. I seized him by the throat ; I placed my 
 knee upon his breast. In a few moments, he was a distorted and 
 ghastly corpse beneath my feet. 
 
 ' My award of retribution was considered just, and no effort 
 was made to arrest me. Availing myself of the box belonging to 
 the Crouching Wolf, which I contended was mine as a debt, I 
 soon learnt the mystery of his art, as it were by intuition. The 
 upper drawer of the box contained the real rattlesnake j the other,
 
 THE SNAKE EATER. 357 
 
 merely the skin of one, which could be inflated by the breath, at 
 will. The motion of the tongue, which was dried, and had 
 wires within, was produced by loadstone ; the movement of the 
 rattles by the same cause.* 
 
 ' Filled from the lungs, it could readily be taken into the 
 mouth, and compressed into a very small compass, and while re- 
 passing outward, inflated again. I bought a new snake from a 
 museum, which I killed, and prepared according to the model 
 before me. I could not endure the thought of even using the 
 same instruments formerly employed by the destroyer of all 
 that I most loved on earth, and I turned from his trickery with a 
 feeling of almost positive loathing. A little practice made me 
 an adept in the mystery of snake-eating, and I have since wan- 
 dered in loneliness from town to town, attempting this curious 
 enterprise. My pecuniary success has been sufficient for my 
 comfort and convenience, and the danger of the feat is only in 
 appearance. With a slight exertion, I can resolve my face into 
 the colors and contortions you witnessed this evening, and which 
 heighten the interest of the spectacle.t But these things can 
 only temporarily divert my thoughts, for I carry within my heart 
 an aching fever, which no prosperity can allay or remove. The 
 objects that have cheered me, can cheer me no more. I stand 
 alone in this wilderness world ; a mourner and a pilgrim. My 
 visions are of my wife and child ; my day dreams are of them ; 
 but I must suffer as you see, until I meet them in that better 
 country, where the sun descends not, and darkness is unknown ; 
 where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest. 
 I can forget my child for her existence seems to me like a 
 misty trance in the fond assurance that the sparkling dew-drop 
 has exhaled to heaven ; but for the cherished rose that sustained 
 it, I cease not to grieve. Alas, for the wife of my bosom ! Well 
 can I say, with one who, perhaps, has loved and mourned like 
 me : 
 
 ' ALAS, for the clod that is resting now, 
 On those slumbering eyes on that faded brow! 
 Wo for the cheek that has ceased to bloom, 
 For the lips that are dumb in the noisome tomb : 
 
 THE writer has now in his possession a curiosity from the far West, in the 
 shape of a large prairie-beetle, which is composed, among other ingredients, of paper 
 and wood. At the end of every claw and feeler, where they are attached to the 
 body, are small bits of lead, impregnated with loadstone. This lifeless imitation 
 performs all the movements of the actual beetle; moves, and extends its limbs, pre- 
 cisely like nature. It would puzzle the profoundest entomologist, on a common 
 examination, ' to wotte whether that it livedde or was dede.' 
 
 t THIS ' power of face' is not unusual among the dramatic fraternity. The cel- 
 ebrated tragedian, BOOTH, can easily flush his face with the deepest suffusion of 
 guilt or anger, and at the next moment cause it to bear the livid hue of death. 
 This power often adds a tremendous effect to his personations.
 
 358 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Their melody broken, their fragrance gone 
 Their aspect cold as the Parian stone : 
 Alas ! for the hopes that with thee have died 
 Oh, loved one! would I were by thy side! 
 
 * Yet the ' joy of grief it is mine to bear: 
 I hear thy voice in the twilight air ; 
 Thy smile of sweetness untold I see; 
 When the visions of evening are borne to me ; 
 Thy kiss on my dreaming lip is warm, 
 My arm embraceth thy yielding form : 
 Then I wake in a world that is sad and drear, 
 To feel in my bosom thou art not here!'* 
 
 THE morning had already began to fire the eastern horizon, 
 beyond the distant wilderness, and to sparkle on the river, when 
 I parted with the Snake Eater, and pursued ray journey. On 
 ray return from the great metropolis of the Mississippi, I found 
 that he had died, and gone to rejoin the lost treasures of his af- 
 fection, in a olime where Sorrow has no residence, and where 
 neither reptile nor poison can enter.
 
 DRAMA-TIC ALTERATIONS, 
 
 DRAMATIC ALTERATIONS. 
 
 ' Tefopora mulanlur, et nos mutamur in illis? is a saw of all 
 earthly saws the tritest, yet it strikes pat upon the Drama. How 
 has that ' department of the fine arts' varied and turned, like an 
 anxious politician, until you can discern neither the ancient co- 
 herence of its comely parts, nor its present estate ! Divine Shaks- 
 peare ! couldst thou now revisit the glimpses of the moon, how 
 would thy fine taste be outraged, and thy noble spirit grieved, 
 by the perceiving flashes of inspiration, which centuries agone 
 issued from thy luminous mind, now dimmed by modern play- 
 wrights, and diluted into weak flickerings of sentiment ! How 
 would it vex thy poor ghost ! Verily, the dramatic abominations 
 of the day might create a soul of anger under the ribs of Death. 
 
 Take, for example, the play of Richard III. When the bard 
 of Avon made that ' pityful tragedie,' he adhered religiously to 
 historical facts. The language of all the interlocutors was char- 
 acteristic and consistent. Look at that tragedy now-a-days. 
 Speeches ' like vermin on the lion's crest,' have been introduced 
 as clap-traps, which show a foolish ambition in the fool that made 
 and the zanies who use them; history is distorted the poet is 
 mangled. 
 
 The task would be quite too tedious to point out all the errors 
 which the march of histrionic improvement has engrafted like 
 cankerous buds upon one of the noblest intellectual trees of 
 Shakspeare's rearing. In many instances the subordinates of the 
 bloody play are omitted altogether ; and, as in the case of Tyr- 
 rell and the young princes, the mere instigators of the murder 
 are made actors in it. Most people, listening to the present per- 
 formance of Richard III., would be led to infer, at least, from 
 the modernized text, that Tyrrell himself was the person who in 
 the night-time flung the princely corpses down the Thames. We 
 miss the passage where the sanguinary and ambitious baronet so- 
 liloquizes respecting ' Dighton and Forest whom he did suborn,' 
 to do the deed, and who it is conclusively known, were its dia- 
 bolical perpetrators. That the young nephews were thrown into 
 the river, is a very general though erroneous impression. His- 
 tory, as we shall see, buries them in the tower. 
 
 With perhaps the majority of play-goers, the Drama usurps 
 the province, and supplies the teachings of history. It embalms, 
 for posterity, the floating facts of the olden time ; and those 
 heroes have a small chance for posthumous fame who do not exe-
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 cute some act in their lives that is peculiarly stage-effectual, and 
 may be in some way perpetuated by plays. Thus the great 
 Winkelreid of Switzerland, in contrast with William Tell, is 
 comparatively unknown. How important is it then in all dram- 
 atic efforts, such as those of the immortal Shakspeare, that the 
 truths of history should never be stretched nor polluted ' 
 
 There is an eloquent passage in Richard III. ; the soliloquy 
 of the monarch, on the evening before the battle of Bosworth 
 Field. Its intrinsic beauty makes it acceptable any where, but 
 its utterance by Richard, under the circumstances, is rather out 
 of place. It was originally a part of a chorus, with which many 
 of the prominent acts of Shakspeare's plays were at first intro- 
 duced, in imitation of the Greek tragedies. The speech of King 
 Henry, also, on receiving news of his son's death, does not be- 
 long at all to Richard. It is from one of the Henrys. 
 
 How many play-goers have shouted and clapped their hands, 
 pitlings, boxites, and all, when the crook-backed tyrant, on hear- 
 ing of the capture of his enemy, exclaims : 
 
 ' Off with his head ! So much for Buckingham !' 
 
 and what hearer of taste has not deemed the expression incon- 
 gruous and abrupt ? It is enough to say that it is none of Shaks- 
 peare's. The self-approving Mr. Tate, who introduced it, is the 
 putative father of the barbarism. So also the dying speech of 
 Gloster, ' Perdition catch thy soul,' etc., is an addition by some 
 other mind, and though smooth and forcible, is not like Shaks- 
 peare. 
 
 Perhaps many of the readers of the KNICKERBOCKER are un- 
 acquainted with the contemporaneous history of the bloody Glos- 
 ter, and therefore they cannot object to hearing him spoken of 
 by an ancient and most veritable chronicler, who lived not long 
 after the tyrant's time. Rare and curious indeed is that black- 
 letter tome, ' Y e Cronikels of lohn Stovve,' wherefrom the follow- 
 ing quaint but right credible historie hath been taken. 
 
 'On y* 4:th of luly, Richard iij. hee came to the Tower by 
 water with his wiffe, and made 14 knightes of y e bath.' During 
 that moneth he had numerous victims arrested as rebels, among 
 whom was one John Smith (the name was extant even then) ;. 
 and all of whom he charged with a design to fire the city of Lon- 
 don, so that while it was burning they might rescue Prince Ed- 
 ward and his brother the Duke of York, out of the tower : 
 
 'Now,' says the honest Stowe, 'there fel myscheeves thick; and as the 
 thing euil gotten, is neuer wel kepit, thorough all Richard's tyme neuer 
 ceased there cruell deths and slawters till his own destruction ended them.
 
 DRAMATIC ALTERATIONS. 361 
 
 But as he finished his time with the best deth and the most righteous, that 
 is to wit with his owne, so he began with the most pityous and wicked I 
 meene the lamentible murtherof his innocent nevues, the young king and 
 his tender brother, whose death and finall infortune hath natheless cornea 
 so far in question that some did remain in dovt whether they were destroyed 
 in his daies or no. But I shall rehearse you the dolorous death of these 
 babes, not after every way that I have heard, but by such men and by such 
 means as methinketh it were hard but it should be true.' 
 
 Richard knew that while his nephews lived, he could have no 
 right to the realm, and that therefore their death must ensue. 
 Shakspeare has nobly expressed this in Gloster's famous solilo- 
 quy. The manner in which he effected this, is succinctly re- 
 corded by Stowe. He tried at first, through his special and 
 trustworthy servant, John Greene, to prevail on Sir Robert Brak- 
 enbry, constable of the Tower, to attempt the murder, which that 
 functionary flatly declined. Greene returned with his answer to 
 Richard, who was then at Warwick : 
 
 4 Secretly displeased, Richard said, on the same night to his secret 
 page, Ah, whom shall a man trust ? Those that I have bjpughten up my- 
 self, those that I had weened would most surely serve me, even these fail 
 me, and at my commandment would doe nothing for me.' ' Sir, (quoth the 
 page,) there lieth one on your pallet without, that I dare well say to do 
 your grace's pleasure the thing were right hard that he would refuse,' mean- 
 ing by this Sir James Tyrrell, which was a man of right goodly personage ; 
 (modern playwrights make him a ruffian) and for nature's gifts worthie to 
 haue serued a much better prince, if he had served God, and by grace ob- 
 tained so much truth and good will, as he had strength and wit. This man 
 had an high heart, and sore longed upward, not rising yet so fast as he had 
 hoped, being hindered and kept under by y* meanes of Sir Richard Rat- 
 clifl'e and Sir William Catesby, which longed for ne moe partners of the 
 prince's favor. Richard tooke this time to put him foreward, and by such 
 wise to doo him good, that all the enemies he had except the diuel, could 
 never had done him so much. 
 
 4 Upon hearing his page's wordes, Kynge Richard arose, (for in this com- 
 munication he had been sitting at the draught convenient carpet for such 
 a council,) and came out into a pallet chamber, in which he found Sir 
 lames and Sir Thomas Tirels, of persons like and brethren of bloud, but 
 nothing of kin in conditions. Then said y e Kynge merrily vnto them : 
 4 What, Sirs, are ye in bedde so soone ?' and calling Sir James, brake se- 
 cretly to him his minde in this mischievous matter, in which he found him 
 nothing straunge. Wherefore on the morrow he sent him to Brakenbry, 
 with a letter by which he was commanded to deliver to Sir James all the 
 keyes of the tower for one night, to the end he might there accomplish the 
 king's pleasure in such things as he had given him commandment. After 
 the which letter deliuered and keyes receiued, Sir lames appointed the next 
 night ensuing for to destroie them, deuising before and preparing y e meanes. 
 When the eldest of the young princes was told that his Vncle would be 
 kynge, he was sore abashed, and sighed and said, 'Alas, I would my Vncle 
 would let me haue my liffe yet, though I should leve my Kyngedomme.' 
 Thenne he that tolde him y e tale, used him with good words, and put him 
 in y e best comfort he could. But forthwith was the prince and his brother 
 both shut vp and all other remoued from them, onely one called Black
 
 362 PROSB MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Wille, or William Slaughter except, sette to serue them, and see all sure. 
 After which time y" prince neuer tyde his pointes nor aught roughte of 
 himself, but with y' babe his brother, lingred in thought and great heaui- 
 nesse, till his traitrous death deliuered him of that wretchedness, for Sir 
 lames Tirell deuised that they should be murdered in their beds. To y 
 execution whereof he appointed Miles Forest, one of the four that kept 
 them ; a fellow fleshed in murther aforetime. To him he ioyned one lob. 
 Dighton, his ovvne horse-keeper; a bigge, broade, square, stronge knaue. 
 Then all other being remoued from them, this Miles Forrest and lohn 
 Dighton about midnighte (y e sweete children lyeing in their beddes) came 
 into y e chamber and sodainely lapped them up among y e clothes, and so be- 
 wrapped them and enstrangled them, keeping down y e feather bed and pil- 
 lowes harde unto their mouthes, that within a while, smothered and 
 stifled, their sweete breaths failing, they gaue to God their innocent souls 
 into the ioyes of Heauen, leauing to the tormentors their bodies dead in y' 
 bedde. Which after that the wretches perceiued, the first by the struggling 
 with y e paines of death and after long lying still to be throughly dead, they 
 laid their bodies naked out upon the bed and fetched Sir lames to see them, 
 which vpon the sight of them cawed these murtherers to bury them at ike 
 stairesfoot, meelely deepe in ye ground e vnder a great hept of stones, 1 
 
 When Tyrrell conveyed the news to Richard at Warwick, he 
 was overjoyed at the success of his dreadful and cruel plot. 
 Several chroniclers, Master Moore, Stowe, Howes, etc., assert the 
 tradition that Tyrrell was knighted on the spot. But the con- 
 summate hypocrite, Richard, affected to be both chagrined and 
 indignant that the bodies were buried in so vile a corner, because 
 * they were kynge's sonnes,' and ought to have been interred in 
 a better tomb. It was said that the bodies were afterward re- 
 moved by Brakenbry, but where, he never condescended to tell. 
 It is not impossible that the skeletons of those unfortunate princes 
 passed by discovery and reversion, into the hands of some an- 
 cient doctor or surgeon ! Who can tell ? Hamlet speculated 
 at a wilder rate than this, and yet with perfect plausibility. He 
 prored by respectable ratiocination, that 
 
 4 Imperious Caesar, dead, and turned to clay, 
 Might stop a hole to keep the wind away.' 
 
 Tyrrell was afterward imprisoned in the Tower for treason against 
 King Henry the VII. There, both himself and Dighton were 
 examined, and confessed the murder of the princes as above 
 written ; but as touching the places whither the * fair corpses' 
 Were removed, they could impart no information. 
 
 A more diabolical event, if we except the sad story of the 
 Cenci, can scarcely be found in history. It seems to have moved 
 the tender heart and aroused the warmest sympathies of the 
 worthy Stowe, who thus ' entreateth' the subject : 
 
 'In this wise, as I haue learned of them that much knew and little cause 
 had to lye, were these two princes, these innocent, tender children, borne
 
 DRAMATIC ALTERATIONS. 363 
 
 of most royal bloude, brought up in grete wealth, likely long to Hue, rule 
 and rayne in y e relme, by traitrous tyranny depriued of their estate, shortly 
 shut vp in prisonn, priuily slaine and murthered their dainty bodies caste 
 God he wots where, by the cruell ambition of their Vnnatural Vncle and 
 his dispiteous tormentors. Which things on euery part well pondred, God 
 neuer gaue this world a notabler example neyther in what mischief work- 
 eth the enterprise of an hie heart, or finally what end ensueth such dispite- 
 ous cruelty. For to begin with the ministres, Miles Forest at Saint Mar- 
 tins rotted peacemeal away, Dighton indeed yet walketfi y e earth (he was a 
 contemporary of Stowe) in good possibility to be hanged ere he die. But 
 Sir lames Tyrel dyed at y Towre hill, beheaded for treason ; and kynge 
 Richard himself was slaine in y e the fielde,* hacked and heiced of his ene- 
 mies hands ; carried on horse-back, dead ; his hair in despight torne and 
 tugged like to a Curre Dogg : and the mischefe that he tooke was within less 
 than THREE yeares of y e mischeves that he did ; and yet all the mean time 
 spent in much paine and trouble outwarde, much feare, anguish, and sor- 
 row within. For I haue heard by credible report of such as were secrett 
 with his chamberlaines, that after his abominable deed done, he neuer had 
 quiet in his mynde ; he neuer bedeemed himself sure : wheneuer he went 
 abroad his eien whirled about, his body privily fenced, his hand euer vpon 
 his dagger his countenance and manner like one alwaies ready to strike 
 again ; he took ill rest a-nights ; lay long waking and musing, sore wearied 
 with care and watch ; rather slumbered than slept, troubled with fearful 
 dreams : sometimes sodainely started up and leapt out of his bedde, to runne 
 about y e chamber, so was his restless heart continually tossed and tumbled 
 with the hideous impression and awful remembrance of his abominable 
 deede.' 
 
 We marvel whether a better description of what might not in- 
 aptly be termed an earthly hell, can be found in all history, than 
 the foregoing portrait of Richard, during those three memorable 
 years in which his plans of insatiate ambition were working to 
 their fulfilment. In his immortal play, Shakspeare has caught 
 the very aspect of Gloster's form, and exhibited the concrete es- 
 sence of his foul spirit. Tyranny must always be miserable to 
 its dispenser ; and a crown got and maintained by blood, sits like 
 corroding iron, not on the brow alone, but on the heavy heart of 
 the usurper. Such were the feelings of Richard at Warwick, 
 and of Tiberius at Capreae ; and such will ever be the fate of 
 those who rest wrongfully in their regal seats, and abuse their 
 ill-gotten prerogatives. Happily, in modern times, little despot- 
 ism exists in kingly dominions. The people hold in their hands 
 the balance of power, and monarchs themselves are accountable 
 to their subjects. 
 
 <ATTEK ye battel of Bosworth Field,' says our worthy historian, <ye dead corps 
 of Richard was as shamefully carried to y e towne of Leister, as hee gorgeously the 
 the day before with pomp departed out of ye same towne ; for his body was naked 
 to ye skinne, not so much as one clout about him, and he was trussed up on horse- 
 back behind a pursuivant at armes like a dogge or caffe, ye head and armes hang- 
 ing on one side of ye horse, and ye leggis vpon the other; and all sprinkeled with 
 my re and blond, was brought to ye Gray-Friers Churche, vvithin ye towne, and 
 there homely buried, when he had rained three yeeres, two moneths, and one day.'
 
 364 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 MUSICAL INFELICITIES. 
 
 I WAS much pleased by the perusal of the lament of one Old- 
 school, in a recent number of the KNICKERBOCKER wherein he 
 discoursed with true feeling and discretion upon the theme of 
 Music ' under the Reformation.' True it is, that we receive no 
 longer that auricular gratification from sweet and simple sounds, 
 once commended so delectably to our senses. The reason is 
 obvious. There is a mania among our modern singers for mere 
 execution, which drives harmony and melody at once into the 
 shade. I shall treat of this, in connexion with others, as among 
 the chiefest of my infelicities. 
 
 Naturally, I have tender ears. As recipients of the different 
 modulations of sound, they are peculiarly subtile. My nervous 
 organization is delicate ; and those airs that melted into my soul r 
 and kindled up my heart in my better days, still charm those re- 
 cesses of thought and feeling with an influence truly magical. 
 The enchantment of association twines itself among the notes, 
 and awakens all the dreams of the past, until the tear is on my 
 eyelid, and the throb of remembered delight trembling in my 
 bosom like a reed shaken by the wind. I return with the elastic 
 and visionary tread of memory, into that Happy Valley of Youth, 
 where I spent the sunny morning of my days. I see the streams 
 sparkling blue and bright along the meadows ; the bird chants 
 in the wild wood ; the flocks are white on the green hill-side ; 
 the herds are cropping the herbage in shady places, and lashing 
 the summer flies, murmuring as they sting ; and, above all, 
 swells the pomp of the unsearchable sky, and ' gorgeous com- 
 panies of clouds.' These, like the pictures of a panorama, ever 
 arise to my mental vision at the sound of music, such as I heard 
 in other times. Mornings, and sunsets, and landscapes that 
 were dear to me of old, throng around me. I give up the pres- 
 ent, and live in the past. 
 
 But of late these emotions are strangers to my breast, and the 
 pictures have faded from my mind. I hear singers announce 
 and execute songs called by the same names as those I used to 
 hear ; but how different their sound !- New shakes, quavers, and 
 variations, murder their sweetness at the very portals of my ear, 
 and put all their associations to flight. Affectation, too, that 
 bane of good singing, has come so much in fashion, that it is 
 quite impossible to hear a simple song without the modern emen- 
 dations. If you do, it will be from some fresh-hearted creature,
 
 MUSICAL INFELICITIES. 365 
 
 with affections as pure as the rose on her cheek, who spends a 
 few winter weeks among friends or relations in the city. Then, 
 to a guileless mind, her attractions in music are transcendent, 
 and she shows among the starched, affected demoiselles of fash- 
 ion, ' like to a snowy dove trooping with crows.' I have a 
 
 good friend, Kate J , who now and then comes to the city ; 
 
 and I hail her arrival as a blessing. She sings with simplicity, 
 but with correctness and good taste. She feels what she sings ; 
 and does not, parrot-like, repeat the sonorous ejaculations and 
 half-musical intonations, expressive of spurious sorrow or delight, 
 taught by some mortally affected master. I sit by her piano, and 
 in a moment my spirit is wandering in the dominions of recollec- 
 tion, and finds the things of the present to be but as entities of 
 the twilight, flitting unobservedly around. 
 
 I have said that affectation is now-a-days the bane of social 
 music. And so it is. Your city-bred Miss, following the teach- 
 ings of her instructor, does not permit her friends to hear, or 
 rather to understand more than half the words in a song. Some 
 of them are butchered on her lips ; some of them come forth 
 clipped of their proportions in such wise that you know them not ; 
 others are murdered in her thorax. This is not her fault, for 
 she learns and sings ' according to the mode ;' therefore her ten- 
 derness is affetuoso, and her feeling second-hand. If she visit the 
 Theatre, she will hear ladies and gentlemen applauded to the 
 echo, who if they read a song with the pronunciation with which 
 they sung it, would be hissed out of sight in a moment. For 
 example, I have heard a fashionable female vocalist, whose name 
 I leave unmentioned, sing Black-Eyed Susan with a pronuncia- 
 tion exactly as expressed in the stanza below : 
 
 * Yole-d' in the Dunes tha' vlit was moored 
 Tha' sydrimures wa-iving to tha' woind, 
 Wen black-guard Zeuzin kirn on bo-awd : 
 Say war shall E me tr-r-rew lev foind ? 
 Tell me, e-ye jovial Zoilars, tell me e-tr-r-ew 
 Does e'my zweet William zale am'eng e-yer cr-rew ?' 
 
 Now why is it that such errors are tolerated ? and that they are 
 imitated"? The musical old gentleman in Salmagundi, who 
 worked several summers in producing a change in the chimes of 
 Trinity church bells, so that instead of going di do ding dong, 
 they might go ding dong do di, was far better employed than the 
 masters or the vocalists who inculcate affectation. Let us have 
 sincerity in music. It is, of all things, the sweetest and most ac- 
 ceptable. Let the ear have its nonestly-desired fruition of har- 
 mony, and not be mocked with the shadow of music and feeling, 
 when the substance is wanting.
 
 366 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 
 THE DUELIST. 
 
 .. . -'Thou takest a lift away 
 
 A boly, human life the life GOD gfive I* 
 
 A FEW months ago, in company with a professional friend, I 
 visited a Lunatic Asylum, in the neighborhood of one of our 
 most populous cities. It was a mild autumn day ; of that rich 
 and breathing kind, which wears less of earth than heaven ; when 
 the garniture of the year displays a loveliness like the cheek of 
 Beauty, tinted with the hectic of coming dissolution, which seems 
 more a herald of life and promise, than of death or decay. The 
 institution I have mentioned, stood upon an eminence, surround- 
 ed by groves, waving like a mass of rainbows in the air. The 
 scene from its site was beautiful in the extreme. Blue moun- 
 tains melted afar into the sky ; fair vales and bright rivers smiled 
 and rolled between ; the city was near at hand, with its towers 
 and battlements, ' and banners floating in the sunny air ;' all was 
 delightful, all serene. My spirit received into its inmost depths 
 the harmonizing influences of the view ; and I could not help 
 contrasting the peaceful calmness that lay like a charm upon the 
 landscape around, with the murmurs of phrensy which reached my 
 ear, as I stood with my friend at the great door of the asylum, 
 waiting, for a moment, to enjoy the prospect, before we entered. 
 Voices were heard, in various tone and measure, singing, talking, 
 and bowling, in mingled confusion. It was as if Limbo had 
 been dispeopled, and we were listening to the wailings of its mis- 
 erable inhabitants. 
 
 As we entered, I was struck with the regularity and order 
 which every where prevailed in the appearance of the mansion. 
 It seemed a place where Reason, could it be permitted to enjoy 
 so sweet a retreat alone, might wrap itself in the mantle of undis- 
 turbed reflection ; where Love might nestle and be delighted ^ 
 and from whence the baneful passions of our nature might be ut- 
 terly banished. 
 
 As we strayed along the solemn corridors, catching ever and 
 anon rich views of the distant scenery from the windows and em- 
 brasures, I could not but admire the generosity which had 
 planned such a Refuge. It had been very successful. The ex- 
 ertions of its officers and various superintendents had been so 
 well rewarded, as to give pleasure to every philanthropist in the 
 large community of liberal hearts to whom their yearly reports
 
 367 
 
 were submitted. Blessed, surely, of Heaven, will those be, wbo 
 thus bind up the weary bosoms that have been pierced by the 
 bitter shafts of affliction ; who re-unite the disjointed links of 
 memory and reason, and cause the streams of thought to flow 
 with the renewal of a fresh and healthy impulse, through the 
 soul! 
 
 We entered many of the apartments. Several contained fe- 
 males, sitting in gentle abstraction, humming some half- forgotten 
 song, and repeating in audible cadence the disordered images 
 that rose to the mind, like the changeful hues of a kaleidoscope, 
 in a thousand beautiful but fantastic and momentary forms. 
 
 At the extremity of a wide gallery, extending the entire length 
 of the mansion, were two rooms, larger than any on the same 
 floor, and, when the doors were shut, with no communication 
 whatever, even in sight, between them. One was occupied by a 
 female, the other by a young gentleman who scarcely seemed 
 
 4 Less than Archangel ruined, or the excess 
 Of glory obscured.' 
 
 He was tall, and of an erect, manly form. He was pacing hi& 
 apartment, and separated from the observer, as his door opened, 
 by a close iron palisade which extended into the room about a 
 foot from the door. On one ankle was a chain which clanked 
 incessantly, as he strode to and fro through the apartment, like a 
 lion in his cage. He scarcely deigned a look at us, but wander- 
 ed on, turning at regular intervals, and sometimes pausing for a 
 moment, with flushed features, to place his hand on his forehead, 
 as if to repress a tide of swelling thoughts, which seemed ready 
 to burst the boundary of the brain. His forehead was wide, but 
 not high. Around it the dark hair hung in masses of gloomy 
 shadow, or drooped in the lank dampness of perspiration. There 
 was an expression of stern and implacable bitterness about the 
 lip ; but it was in the eye, that the direful meanings of phrensy 
 were the most convincingly exhibited. The pupils dilated with 
 a fearful expression, while, now and then, he would lengthen and 
 retard his pace, as if measuring a space of ground accurately 
 with his tread. Then he would stand sidewise, in a soldier's at- 
 titude, and with his eye fixed closely on some distant object, lift 
 bis arm to the level of his breast, reach it strongly out from his 
 side, his shifting eye quickly following the curl of his fore-finger> 
 as if taking aim for a pistol shot. In this position he would re- 
 main for nearly a minute, at the end of which his eye would 
 close as if from horror ; a shuddering ran through his limbs, and 
 his arm dropped nervelessly by his side. Then he would curse, 
 
 I
 
 368 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 and weep such tears ! They seemed wrung like life-blood from 
 the very fountain of his heart. 
 
 * Poor fellow !' said my comrade : ' three years ago, he was 
 one of the most attractive and promising youths I ever knew. 
 He was the best scholar in his class at college, for learning 
 seemed to come to him without an effort. Energetic and ambi- 
 tious, but with most unbridled passions, he allowed nothing to 
 stand in the way of his desires. He was beloved by some for his 
 freedom of spirit, but condemned by the judicious for the reck- 
 lessness of his aims. An unfortunate affair has brought him 
 hither ; and I, used as I am to histories of crime and sorrow, 
 have never been able to retain a sufficient mastery of my feel- 
 ings, to relate his story as I know it, even to the most intimate 
 friend. When he first reached the asylum, he was a raving 
 maniac. Several months passed by, and his disorder grew more 
 temperate and mild. There were occasions when he would not 
 for days utter an irrational word. He desired that writing ma- 
 terials should be allowed him, and he wrote many sheets closely 
 full. These he tied together in the form of a book, with fanciful 
 strings of blue and red silk, and used almost daily to read over, 
 marking out, with apparent care, every inelegant or irrelevant 
 word. Earnest hopes were entertained of his recovery, at no 
 distant period, when the admission of a lunatic lady into the op- 
 posite apartment, and of whom he caught a glimpse through his 
 open door as she entered, drove him at once into a settled deli- 
 rium. In this state he has continued ever since. Increasing 
 weakness now marks his disorder ; his appetite has declined ; 
 fitful ravings disturb his repose ; no drowsy potion can calm his 
 mind; and he sometimes, especially in summer nights, howls 
 away the doleful watches, in all the agony of a doomed spirit. A 
 few months, I fear, will seal his destiny.' 
 
 The conversation of my friend seemed to have no effect upon 
 the prisoner before MS. He appeared wrapt up in the thick dark- 
 ness of his own imaginations, and gave none but vague tokens 
 that he recognised our presence. Indeed, until then, he had 
 scarcely glanced in that direction. My friend wished to try the 
 effect of a new face upon him, (as he had seen none but himself 
 and a domestic attendant for several months, strict seclusion 
 having been advised). Accordingly, he retired into the hall, and 
 with his extended cane, (himself unseen,) rapped against the 
 threshold, the usual salute. 
 
 The maniac turned his face toward me, and started back with 
 wild surprise. ' Why, sir,' said he, ' have you not been to see 
 me before ? I have been imprisoned in this cell, by order of
 
 THE DUELIST. 369 
 
 x 
 
 Cleostratus, because I refused to explain his epicycles before tbe 
 
 faculty at college. He wrote a note to them ; Socrates 
 
 -signed it, Plato stuck his sign-manual on it, and I was expelled ! 
 Sir,' he continued, ' they have got Cleopatra in the other room ; 
 and she is trying to kill me ! Twenty times in a night, with the 
 fire of a demon' in her eye, and the poisonous blood coursing 
 over her bosom, does she open that door where you stand, and 
 let loose from a box which she got of Pandora, a swarm of asps 
 and scorpions on my floor. Yes ; you know it, for at this mo- 
 ment you are scowling upon me, as if you were leagued with her ! 
 Fiend ! What have I done to her, or you ? Where is my friend ? 
 My friend ha ! ha ! ha ! my FRIEND V 
 
 I trembled at his manner and his words. He continued to go 
 on, in language similar to that I have quoted, uttered without 
 much connection or relevancy, in a voice hollow and sepulchral. 
 The play of his features was agonizing to behold. What can be 
 more terrible than a mind in ruins, ' like sweet bells jangled out 
 of tune ?' The stare of natural idiotcy is not so painful to re- 
 ceive, because we know, as we look on the sufferer, that he has 
 never fallen from a high estate ; but when we meet the glances 
 of a disturbed and restless eye, flashing with phrensy, and shifting 
 every way, as if tossed about by the boiling fervors of a ' heat- 
 oppressed brain ;' when we remember that once, perhaps but 
 lately, it shone with the scintillations of wit and reason ; then it is, 
 that we can faintly apprehend the inherent greatness, and delicate 
 dependencies of the immortal mind. It is fearful to see the light 
 of GOD extinguished in the soul ; to behold it reduced to a chaos : 
 to note the obscuration of a spark whose divine lustre, next to 
 the vast spheres of heaven, affords the most convincing proof of 
 an ever-watchful and omnipotent intelligence ; and assures us 
 that man is indeed but little lower than the angels.' 
 
 I was so completely absorbed in contemplating the features and 
 movements of the maniac before me, that I felt as if spell-bound 
 in a dream. Whether an influence, akin to sympathy of thought 
 or feeling, is conveyed by a lunatic to his observer, I know not ; 
 but certain ft was, that every glance, shot from the penetrative eye 
 of the being before me, awakened a new interest in his behalf. 
 He ceased speaking, and walked on, turning with heavy steps, 
 and humming occasionally the faint notes of disremembered mu- 
 sic, that came to his mind, half cheerful, half sad ; the wrecks, 
 perchance, of sounds that had melted and won his heart in better 
 years. My companion still continued to stand aloof, anxious to 
 know what the consequences of my interview might be. Ab- 
 straction seemed to be the maniac's chief characteristic. Bitter 
 
 24
 
 370 PROBE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 memories, it was evident, were at work in his mind. At last he 
 stopped suddenly, and said in a deep, sober tone : 
 
 * Do you know that my chain reaches to that corner, and that 
 desk ? It does, upon my honor. Yes, upon my honor. Men 
 fight for honor, they die for honor, they plunge themselves into 
 rivers of fire and blood for honor ! Oh God ! I have I 
 have!' 
 
 Words cannot convey the desperation of his language, or the 
 horror that sate upon his countenance, as he gave it breath. It 
 was like the features of the thunder-scarred and dark-browed spirit, 
 in Milton, whose cheek, blanched by tempests of dire hail from 
 the treasuries of the Almighty, was the throne of care. 
 
 Suiting his action to his word, the prisoner approached the 
 desk, and took from it the identical manuscript which my friend 
 had described. { I will give this,' said he, ' to you. It is a deed 
 of all my property. I bequeath it for your benefit. Now I look 
 at you again, you seem a friend.' Here, without an effort, or 
 apparent emotion, the large tears came again to his eye. He at- 
 tempted to reach the manuscript to me, but could not. Instantly 
 he approached the window, and grasped one of the wooden bars 
 which crossed it. With desperate energy, he drew it from the 
 casement, as easily as Samson disparted the withes wherewith 
 he was bound. Tying the colored strings to the bar, he handed 
 the book to me, through the grating which separated us from each 
 other. I took it, and thanked him for his pains. He made me 
 no answer, but stood like an image of stone. He seemed to have 
 dispossessed himself of a burden, and disposed for sleep. He 
 approached his pallet in the corner, and sank so quickly into 
 slumber, that it seemed like the mimic sleep of an actor, in Rich- 
 ard the Third, when the tyrant sees the ghost of the Plantagenets, 
 4 Clarence and the rest,' rising around him. His breathing was 
 heavy and slow ; large drops of sweat stood on his temples ; and 
 an occasional groan, as if sounding from the heart, moaned 
 through his lips. 
 
 4 Now,' said my companion, ' is the time to go. Step lightly, 
 for the least sound will waken him at this hour.' 
 
 As we turned from his apartment, my friend moved a little 
 slide before a pane of glass in the door of the opposite room, and 
 bade me look in. A lady was sitting at the window, gazing out- 
 ward, with a vacant eye, and kissing her hand at the airy nothings 
 of her mind. The noise of the sliding panel attracted her no- 
 tice. She glanced toward the door. The moment my face was 
 recognised, she sprang toward me. * Oh, Henry,' she said, 'are 
 you come ? How long I have waited for you ! No no,' she
 
 THE 'DUELIST. 371 
 
 added, pushing her fair hair wildly back from her brow, you 
 are not Henry no ; if you were, you would speak to me !' 
 
 J could not speak to her. I was overpowered, bewildered. 
 She was a beautiful being, seemingly not twenty years of age. 
 The ravages of sorrow had thinned her features, and saddened 
 her brow ; but her lips were still feverishly full and red ; her blue 
 eye, still bright ; the hues of fading loveliness, like the reflected 
 tints of a damask rose, still lingered in her cheek ; and her voice ! 
 oh, how sweet and musical, did its gentle accents fall upon my 
 ear ! Every word bespoke the stainless purity of the spirit that 
 fate had steeped in ruin. 
 
 I could not bear the sight, and a world could not then have 
 compelled me to the utterance of a word. I closed the panel, 
 with a distressful feeling ; and taking the arm of my friend, re- 
 plied to his attentive offers, that I would see no more. 
 
 When I returned to my lodgings in the city, I opened the 
 maniac's pages. I have deemed them of interest, and I now give 
 them to the reader, word for word a melancholy record of pas- 
 sion and crime. 
 
 ' I AM a man, smitten of GOD. I seize my pen with a tremb- 
 ling hand, to record some of the events in a life that has not been 
 long, but is yet wearing swiftly to its close. A world of sable 
 images is arrayed before the prospect of my soul. I lift the dis- 
 mal curtain of fate from the gloom of departed years, and dis- 
 cern, over its scenes of horror, the sun of recollection ; bloody 
 and wan, like that pale sphere which hung above Jerusalem, 
 when the veil of the temple was rent in sunder ; when they who 
 slept in their graves arose, called from their cerements by the 
 moaning of thunders and earthquakes on a thousand hills. The 
 beams of innocence have vanished for ever from my mind ; the 
 roses that opened once around my pathway, are changed for the 
 night-shade and the ivy ; my feet have stumbled upon the dark 
 mountains of error ; and for the dews of pleasure, or the blooms 
 of hope, I inherit the vulture of regret. Remorse and pain are 
 knawing at my heart ; and like the fabled scorpion in his enven- 
 omed circle, I mingle at once the poison of the adder, with the 
 torpor of the worm. 
 
 * The misery of years may be compressed into one short page. 
 I shall be brief. What I am now, I was not always. As I sit 
 by my window, and look out from the bars that hedge me in, 
 upon earth and sky, basking in that sunlight which but faintly 
 shadows the smile of the CREATOR, I bethink me of all the past. 
 My soul swells with remembrance, my heart with emotion. It 

 
 372 PKOSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 is the hour of sunset. The great orb rolls slowly down ; he dips 
 behind the western mountains, and in gushes of solemn pomp, 
 ethereal brightness flows over their blue outlines, along the land- 
 scape. It is a Sabbath evening the month is June : the distant 
 bells of the city load the fragrant breeze with volumes of tender 
 melody. Around, are aroma, and peace, and music, and holi- 
 ness but not with me. 
 
 ' My testimony must be given. I hold my uncertain reason as 
 a boon which a breath may dissolve ; and as its dawning day 
 continues, I must inscribe my record, before the night shall come. 
 Against myself, I am to place upon these pages a fearful witness. 
 I shall write as one on whom the sleepless eye of GOD looks 
 with a discerning vision. I shall unveil my heart. I will bare 
 to the day the corruption of its motives, and the deed of horror 
 to which they have led ; the thoughts whereof have withered my 
 form, and scathed my brain, like the blast of a samiel. I will 
 call up from their dungeons, the wierd spectres of memory. I 
 will lift the mirror of truth before me, and describe the hideous 
 monster that I behold therein, though the appalling reflection 
 should sere my eyeballs, and make me shudder through every 
 nerve. 
 
 ' I have been a scholar and a student. I have gone through 
 the studies and trials allotted to those who delve after knowledge. 
 I have explored the treasures of orators, dramatists, annalists, and 
 poets. I have bent over the breathing pages of Cicero, and 
 Homer, and Virgil ; of ^Sschylus and Thucydides, Tacitus, and 
 Livy. I have quaffed long and deep at the fountains of ancient 
 lore ; but the only spring that ever cheered me has dried up, 
 and left for my seeking lip the sand alone. 
 
 * I have loved. There lies the secret of my torture and my 
 doom. At the junior exhibition of my class, as I was speaking 
 before a large and brilliant assembly in the University chapel, 1 
 saw, for the first time, an object that riveted my gaze and secured 
 my admiration, my affection. She was young, and oh, how su- 
 premely lovely ! 1 paused with a sense of intoxicating transport. 
 Her liquid blue eyes met mine ; her fine Grecian features seem- 
 ed lit with an unearthly intelligence ; the blush of innocence was 
 on her cheek. The periods of my salutatory dropped slowly 
 from my lips ; I forgot my duties, my honors ; I was * clothed 
 upon with love !' 
 
 ' When the exercises of the day were over, I made enquiries 
 after the fair being who had so moved me. She was a partial 
 stranger in town, remaining at the dwelling of a relation. A year 
 previous she had visited the city, and been addressed by a class-
 
 THE DUELIST. 373 
 
 /nate with whom my terms of friendship were strict and intimate. 
 He had been accepted as her suitor, and the day of their union 
 had already been appointed. 
 
 ' Fired with passion, I sought her acquaintance. I met her 
 often ; and amidst the attractions of a society not deficient in fe- 
 male loveliness, I found her ever the sole ascendant star. GOD ! 
 how I loved her ! I waited upon her footsteps, and bent to her 
 beck, as one that obeys the bidding of a celestial spirit. Her, 
 smile was the joy of my heart ; her voice the richest music to 
 my ear. But I wooed in vain. With a delicacy, pure as it was 
 engaging, she repelled all my advances, and I could not but see 
 that my friend, Henry Rivers, was the choice of her affection. 
 
 ' Rivers was indeed my friend. We had been all in all to 
 each other. But causes must produce effects, and coldness soon 
 sprang up between us. He loved May Morton with a perfect 
 idolatry. I was the foul iconoclast, who destroyed both the wor- 
 shipper and the image. Wo is me ! 
 
 4 My passion could not be concealed. The pent-up flame de- 
 fied restraint. One balmy afternoon in spring, I sought the apart- 
 ment of May Morton. I poured out my soul, in kisses and protes- 
 tations, on the white, reluctant hand that thrilled in mine. I was 
 answered in tones of melody, whose fatal sweetness haunts me 
 still, that my suit was vain. Rivers was her betrothed her 
 heart and hand were his own. I heard no more. Pride spread 
 its burning color over my cheek. I ceased to supplicate ; I 
 bowed, and withdrew. Weeks passed over me, without a knowl- 
 edge of existence. A malignant fever brought me to the margin 
 of the grave ; and the delirium of passion and sickness was con- 
 tinually upon me. 
 
 ' Months elapsed before I recovered. When I came forth 
 again, it was only to hear of the approaching marriage of my 
 rival. A few days were to witness its consummation. In all 
 my sickness, Rivers, forgetting my offence, was my devoted at- 
 tendant. He was generous and noble. No office was too ar- 
 duous for his goodness ; and through the watches of many a 
 weary night, he kept his vigil by my side. Alas ! how was he 
 repaid ! 
 
 'As the time drew nigh for the celebration of his nuptials, 
 my vigor increased. I ate but little, .yet I seemed to subsist 
 and thrive on thought. A vague idea of some desperate deed 
 beset my soul. What it was destined to be, I knew not ; but I 
 felt, inly, as if nerving myself for some dire resolve. 
 
 ' How little do we know of our own hearts ! During all this 
 period, I could not recognise in myself any hatred to Rivers. I 

 
 :7I PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 thought him the happiest of men ; I would have given worlds to 
 have filled his place in the affections of May Morton ; and be- 
 cause she did, I thought JT too loved him. Fatal delusion ! 
 
 ' I received an invitation to be present at their nuptials. I 
 went, but with a feeling such as I never before experienced. It 
 was the elateness of a desperate mind the elevation which pre- 
 cedes despair. 
 
 ' It was a lovely evening. The guests were met, the feast was 
 spread. I heard the voice of the priest ; I saw the hands of the 
 betrothed united in eternal fidelity. The room swam to my 
 vision ; the smiles that met me were repaid by glances of vacancy 
 or of fire ; and the wine-cup passed my lips untasted. 
 
 ' A dance ensued. The music breathed through the scented 
 apartments, like a heavenly epithalamium. Graceful forms were 
 moving in fairy circles ; the viol uttered its harmonies ; all was 
 brightness ; all delight. 
 
 ' How it was, I know not, that I approached the happy pair as 
 they stood at the head of a cotillqn. ' Pleasant time, this, Mr. 
 Rivers,' said I, with a bitter smile, and in a hollow voice ; ' very 
 pleasant do n't you think so ?' 
 
 * ' Indeed I do ; the happiest of my life. My sweet May be- 
 side me, and my oum ! It is like a dream. 1 
 
 ' * Very likely,' I replied. ' What a pity it is that so sweet a 
 dream should not be enjoyed by somebody who deserved it.' 
 
 ' ' What do you mean, Sir ?' said Rivers, the generous mean- 
 ings of his eye changing to a look of stern inquiry. 
 
 ' 'I meaiV I responded, with the abruptness of instant false- 
 hood, which could not be contradicted from the grave, ' that you 
 told young Everts, of our class, that my Oration at the Junior 
 Exhibition was written by you. He is dead now, and can not 
 say to you, as I do, that you are both a liar and a coward. I 
 speak it aloud ; I am heard by all around me ; and I leave you 
 to demand of me that satisfaction, current among all honorable 
 men, which you will not fail to receive.' 
 
 ' Rivers was thunder-struck. He gazed at me with a look of 
 mingled pity and surprise. At last he said : 
 
 * * Charles, now I know you. This is an angry, envious trick 
 of yours, and I see the motive. But it shall not avail you. You 
 shall be met, as you desire ; but not to-night. To night, at 
 least,' he added, addressing his terrified bride, with looks of un- 
 utterable tenderness, * shall be devoted to rapture and to love. 
 Sir, you will hear from me in the morning.' 
 
 ' What were my feelings ! Like Ithuriel in Eden, I stood, 
 hideous and single, in the midst of a scene of loveliness. From 

 
 THE DUBLIST. 376 
 
 bitter envy and .unrequited passion, I had wantonly falsified the 
 truth, and poisoned the happiness of a lovely being, by embroil- 
 ing in mortal combat the chosen companion of her bosom. 
 
 ' I know not how I reached home. I slept as on a bed of fire. 
 In the morning I received a note from Rivers, which I accepted 
 without delay. 
 
 ' That afternoon we met. The grey walls of the University, 
 where we had spent so many happy hours, shone through the 
 distant grove, as we measured our deadly paces. The word 
 was waiting to be given ; the lengthened solemn tread was made. 
 Rivers held his pistol as if willing to use it on an enemy, but not 
 on a friend. I levelled my aim at his heart. I see him still as 
 he stood before me then ; the sunshine playing on his chestnut 
 locks and manly forehead ; the look of blended pity and con- 
 sternation that his features wore. He stood with the sublimity 
 of a good conscience beaming from his eye. As I stretched my 
 mortal weapon toward his bosom, he shrank not. He seemed 
 to feel the moral advantage that he possessed over me. A whirl 
 of giddy thoughts rushed through my mind, but I had no time 
 for reflection. Some fallen angel whispered vengeance in my 
 ear. What had I to avenge ? What, but an innocent and mu- 
 tual love ? 
 
 * I held njy elevated pistol a shade higher. The word was 
 spoken by the seconds ; I drew back my lock, and heard the 
 click of Rivers' simultaneous with mine. I took deliberate aim ; 
 the burning flash warmed over my fingers, the report rang 
 through the grove. Rivers stepped toward me with extended 
 hand ; his pistol exploded as it dropped from his nerveless grasp j 
 he brought his open palm convulsively to his breast ; he reeled ; 
 he fell. 
 
 ' I rushed to my fallen friend. The crimson blood was gush- 
 ing from his heart, over his bosom ; the leaden hue of death was 
 beneath his closing eyes ; its pallor was on his cheek ; its foam 
 on his lips. 
 
 ' 'Oh, May !' he uttered, with an agonizing groan ; and then, 
 as if nerving himself to an act of dreadful energy, he raised him- 
 self partially up, and reaching forth his hand, exclaimed : 'Charles, 
 I forgive you! You have killed me without a cause ; you will 
 break the fondest heart that ever beat for man; but I forgive 
 youT 
 
 ' The blood now gathered, clotty and smoking, on his purple 
 lips ; the gurgling sound of dissolution was in his throat ; and in 
 one short moment, his life-current staining the green sward where 
 he fell, he was among the dead. . . l'. .
 
 376 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 * I TELL no more. Is it for me to describe the funeral ; the 
 grief that brought the widowed and distant mother of a widowed 
 bride to the grave ; the distress that made May Rivers a maniac ? 
 Can I paint the burden of remorse which at last, and for a long, 
 dark period, dethroned my reason? Shall I revert to that hour 
 to-day, when, an inmate of this dreary place, I saw her whom I 
 once loved, as never 'did a thing on earth, before me ; her fair 
 locks and graceful vestments torn with the struggles of phrensy ; 
 an occupant of the same mad mansion? No ; the picture is too 
 dreadful, even for a mind that has conceived the deeds and suf- 
 fered the horrors of mine. At uncertain moments, my brain 
 seems reeling as if a weight of lead were pressed upon its cell ; 
 ghastly forms rise up around me ; hands that would incarnadine 
 the ocean, beckon to me from the dark walls of Evening, and 
 funeral murmurs, like the wul-wullehs of the East, come booming 
 from afar. Wo is me ! I am smitten of GOD !' 
 
 HERE the manuscript of the maniac ended. It was with a 
 melancholy heart, a few months after its perusal, that I saw, on 
 a second visit to the Asylum, in the green cemetery of the insti- 
 tution, the graves of the duelist and his hapless victim. The 
 verdant mantle of Spring decked the earth where they slept, with 
 rich fertility. His monument was of dark, gloomy marble ; but 
 the white, simple stone, which shone above the tomb of fair 
 May Rivers, stood like an emblem of her stainless life and her 
 glorified soul. She had gone from earth, like the breath of the 
 Spring-time, or the bloom from its flowers. The memorial that 
 rose above her slumbers was shaped like an urn. On one side, 
 was sculptured ' MAY' on the other, ' HOPE.' What fitter de- 
 vice could have been made ? Let the shaft or the cenotaph be 
 lifted for the mind that has gone to its beatitude, not for the lost 
 grace that is wasting, the lip that is dumb, or the brow that is 
 dim ! In the pale dominions of the dead, ' that have fallen 
 asleep upon the bosom of the earth,' never again to rise on mortal ' 
 vision, to whom should we build ? 
 
 ' To Beauty ? Ah, no ! She forgets 
 The charms that she wielded before ; 
 
 Nor knows the foul worm, that he frets 
 The skin that but yesterday fools could adore, 
 For the smoothness it held, or the tints which it wore.'
 
 MILITANT ARIAS. 377 
 
 MILITANT ARIAS BY AN AMATEUR. 
 
 NOBODY is cynic or green-goose enough to deny that the pres- 
 ent is the age of improvement. Every thing seems to be going 
 onward with a rapidity, the strides whereof may be likened unto 
 the tread of an army with banners. All kinds of systems, social, 
 political, public and private, seem to be better fixed than they 
 used to be. To account for these great emendations on any com- 
 mon hypothesis, would be ridiculous. Hypotheses are remnants 
 of antiquity ; and I believe the age can yet be found able to dis- 
 pense with them altogether. The time is not distant, I fancy, 
 when conclusions will be jumped at without argument, and when 
 Truth herself (I believe I have hit the gender of that respect- 
 able stranger) will come out of the well where her troglodyte 
 limbs have so long been cooling, and lift her mirror on high 
 to irradiate the benighted brains of every son and daughter of 
 Adam. 
 
 I say it is difficult to account for these grand emendations on 
 any common cause ; but I have one to which I refer them uni- 
 formly, and it is to my mind of a very satisfactory nature. Mod- 
 ern philosophers have discovered that, in the matter of light, the 
 extremities of comets have scattered new substances into our at- 
 mosphere, and that when these eccentric characters are in peri- 
 helio, their tails are peculiarly bright and flashy. Now, my im- 
 pression is, that the light of these comets, thus generously dis- 
 bursed from their hinder sides, in an intermittent diarrhoea of 
 glory, is conveyed by some principal of induction to the mind 
 of man ; that the subtile rays act specifically upon some cranio- 
 logical bump of his head, inclining him to love music, poetry, 
 politics, horse-stealing, or any thing of the sort, according to the 
 character of the organ in which these rays may settle. To some, 
 they convey high fiscal notions and a love of locomotion, as in 
 the case of Mr. Nazro, the classical teacher, who has such rapid 
 habits and extensive relations, and who charges $100,000 per 
 year, for the finisking of a scholar in his Biblical Instruction. 
 To my own mind, I am sensible that there has been conveyed a 
 strong portion of light on the subject of musical adaptation, and 
 my ears have been acted upon to a considerable extent by the 
 same principle. I never witness any public amusement of late, 
 that I do not begin to reflect on some way in which music might 
 be made to help it on ; and being an ardent though blind admirer
 
 378 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 x 
 
 of European customs, I join in thafrsublime chase in this science, 
 and in other matters of about the same importance, with which a 
 large majority of my comet-stricken fellow-citizens seem interest- 
 ed. *But to my subject. 
 
 I was lounging the other day, on one of the luxurious sofas 
 of the Washington Divan, and sipping a cup of delicious coffee, 
 and looking at the fine paintings and various periodicals hanging 
 and lying around, when I took up that elegant paper, Bell's Life 
 in London, and straightway fell into a train of deep reflection, as 
 I sent my eye up and down its columns, upon the great preva- 
 lence among the gentlemen of England, of those lofty and digni- 
 fied amusements, so cheering to intelligent minds, which are yet 
 almost unknown in this country. I worked myself by degrees 
 into a paroxysm of high-bred indignation, that our imitative gen- 
 try had copied so sparingly from these great transatlantic exam- 
 ples, in pastimes so pleasing to humanity and healthful to the soul. 
 I had touched the climax of my regret, when the following adver- 
 tisement caught my gaze : 
 
 * COCKING. A main of cocks will take place on Wednesday the 6th 
 inst., at the Royal Cockpit, West Green, Tottenham, for 5 the battle and 
 d50 the odd, between the gentlemen of Middlesex and Kent ; to fight in 
 silver. Feeders, GUMM and HAWICK. 
 
 'Three whole days' play will be fought at Bristol on the 19th inst., and 
 the two following days, between the gentlemen of Gloucestershire and the 
 gentlemen of Somersetshire, for dfilOthe battle, and c100 the main. Feed- 
 ers, GRANT, for Somersetshire; BDMM, for Leicestershire.' 
 
 As I peered over this notice, a train of luminous thought, 
 rapid as the scintillations of a meteor, burst upon my mind. 
 Why, said I to myself, has not this accomplished sport of cock- 
 fighting been more extensively introduced into this meridian? 
 and why should it not be done to music ? How few, alas ! how 
 very few of the intelligent gentlemen of this country have ever 
 taken an interest in these gladiatorial rencontres between exas- 
 perated fowls ; or reflected upon the admirable manner in which 
 their contests might be associated with instrumental sounds, and 
 their jumps, pecks, and gaff-kicks, be timed with crotchet and 
 quaver ! To the honor of a few remote Kentuckians, or Indiana 
 Hoosheroons, this eminent sport has found a few advocates in 
 those distant quarters of our republic. Is it not time that the 
 practice were forbidden to waste its exclusive elegance in the 
 haunts of rural life, and that it were introduced into our cities ? 
 Should not cock-pits be built by the sale of stock, and capacious 
 coops be laid in ? Should not feeders be imported, to deliver 
 lectures on the subject ; and ought there not to be competent 
 composers engaged, who shall produce a series of militant arias,
 
 MILITANT ARIAS. 379 
 
 by means of which the cocks could fight with precision, and the 
 ears of the audience be simultaneously delectated? For the 
 credit of the nation, and of the growing taste for operative, ac- 
 tive music, I ask, can this solemn appeal be resisted ? I think 
 not. 
 
 Some churlish, old-fashioned denizens may deem this plan in- 
 feasible ; but I can tell them otherwise. Let us secure the im- 
 portation of one of those foreign fowl-supervisors. Bumm, for 
 instance, ' Cock-feeder to the gentlemen of Leiscestershire ;' let 
 him be installed as manager of the New- York Metropolitan Cock- 
 pit; and let the musical department be entrusted to some pas- 
 sionate master of the science, who feels the spirit of his trade ; 
 and I warrant me the concern will prosper beyond hope. Our 
 people need to be advanced in these lovely refinements, and I ask 
 leave to explain how it can be done. 
 
 Let the pit be opened as the theatres are at present. Let the 
 curtain rise on the feathered combatants, standing each by his 
 feeder, looking grim as Tophet, and his plumage quivering with 
 impatience. Chanticleers, and fowls of that genus, without dis- 
 tinction of sex, are peculiarly susceptible to music. Martial 
 melody seems to impregnate them with the very spirit of evil. 
 At the juncture in question, let their pugnacious propensities be 
 roused by horns, bass-drums, and such like soul-stirring instru- 
 ments. Let the audience hear the gathering storm of sound 
 which impels the fighters onward, every note kindling their ad- 
 venturous intentions, and ' sticking in their crops' with ominous 
 energy. What an interesting picture is thus presented ! 
 
 ' SEE to their desks Apollo's sons repair 
 Swift rides the rosin o'er the horse's hair ; 
 In unison their various tones to tune, 
 Murmurs the hautboy, growls the hoarse bassoon ; 
 In soft vibrations sighs the whispering lute; 
 Twang goes the harpsichord too-too, the flute ; 
 Brays the loud trumpet, squeaks the fiddle sharp, 
 Winds the French horn, and rings the tingling harp ; 
 'Till like great Jove, the leader, figuring in, 
 Attunes to order the chaotic din.' 
 
 After the overture, let the fighting begin, to slow music. Let 
 the fiddlers scrape out the gaff-time ; and if the cocks do battle 
 ' in silver,' let the music be made to imitate the jingling of that 
 pleasant metal. As the combat deepens, the various instruments 
 should express the growling discord ; and when the unsuccess- 
 ful cock begins to give in, let that peculiar burst of melody call- 
 ed a collywabble by the cockneys, which expresses something be- 
 tween a squeal and a wheeze, he ecstacised forth from the bowels
 
 380 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 of some ancient fiddle, cracked for the purpose. This would b& 
 truly interesting ; and when the discomfited fowl gave, his final 
 flutter, let his act of tumbling over be accompanied by that ' strain 
 which has a dying fall.' 
 
 A full blast of fac-simile cock-crowing should then proceed 
 from the orchestra, significant of victory. After this, a gush of 
 soft, low airs should denote the end of the strife, and express in 
 descriptive measures, the falling of the feathers that have been 
 antagonistically educed from the combatants during the fray, and 
 which will just then be floating naturally around. The finale 
 could be selected with propriety from the variaiions of Jim Crow. 
 Should an after-piece be required, a set-to between the feeders 
 might come off, before the assembly. 
 
 This sketch is very imperfect ; but it embodies a conception 
 which I have long groaned withal, and of which I am proud j 
 namely, the establishment of Cock-fighting by Music. The plan 
 is stupendous, I know ; and, like all great undertakings, wilt 
 probably meet with opposition ; but the march of Taste will 
 cause it to succeed. Humanity, decency, dignity, and other 
 cabalistic words, of no particular import, may be employed against 
 it; but this refined amusement must make its way, and float 
 sweetly into favor, under the smiles of Euterpe. I am now in- 
 active correspondence with my worthy friend ADRIAN Q. JEBB, 
 Esq., private cock-feeder to an English nobleman whose name I 
 am not at 'liberty to disclose ; and I am happy in believing that 
 he will yet visit America, to instruct our aristocracy in the modus 
 operandi of his profession. 
 
 I merely mention my plan at present, owing to the want ol 
 time, and shall perhaps make further disclosures to the public 
 hereafter. In the meanwhile, I will merely remark, that sub- 
 scription books for the Metropolitan Cock-pit will soon be open, 
 and the script ready for delivery. The opening address is being 
 prepared by the celebrated author of ' The Antediluvians ;' and 
 the whole establishment will be well appointed, in all respects. 
 I anticipate the co-operation of every fellow-citizen, whose veins 
 contain any gentle blood, and who can trace his pedigree back 
 to his grandfather without stumbling on an artisan. It is to such, 
 fit audience though few, that I commend my enterprise. 
 
 BRUMMAGEM-
 
 BIG LIARS. 381 
 
 BIG LIARS. 
 
 THERE can be no doubt of the fact, that Lemuel Gulliver has, 
 in modern days, enjoyed too exclusive a reputation as a fictionist. 
 Munchausen has laurels which, though partly deserved, are some- 
 what too exuberant for his deserts. Congreve showed his knowl- 
 edge of liars, when he made one of his dramatic characters say 
 to another : 
 
 ' Ferdinand Mendez Pinto was but a type of thee, 
 Thou Liar of the first magnitude !' 
 
 Pinto was great in his way, but he was a poor romancer, com- 
 pared with Sir John Mandeville. The elastic credulity of that 
 gentleman could take in a mountain of mendacity. Marvels, 
 that were such to others, were trifles to him ; and with respect to 
 the stories he heard in his travels, however gross they were, his 
 great belief had stomach for them all. We design to rake up a 
 few of his wonders, and by comparing them with those of Pinto, 
 prove conclusively that the latter is immeasurably distanced, as 
 also are Rabelais, Munchausen, Gulliver, and indeed the whole 
 olden tribe of pencillers by the way-side. We will begin with 
 the Portuguese. 
 
 His travels were of one-and-twenty years' duration. They 
 were made in the kingdoms of Ethiopia, China, Tartary, Cau- 
 chin-China, Calaminham, Siam, Pegu, Japan, and a great part 
 of the East Indies. They were * done in English by H. C., 
 Gent, printed by J. Macock,' and were ' to be sold by Henry 
 Herringman, at the sign of the Blew Anchor, in the Lower 
 Walk of the London New Exchange,' in the year of grace 1663. 
 Poor Pinto ! He suffered much ; and Cervantes has blackened 
 his memory by calling him the Prince of Liars. Among the 
 various sovereigns of the East with whom he sojourned, and in 
 whose various battles he fought, he does certainly give accounts 
 of violence, and misfortunes, and scenes of bloodshed that are 
 somewhat enlarged ; but he does not expect them, we imagine, 
 to be believed. In his wanderings, he ' five times suffered ship- 
 wrack, was sixteen times sold, and thirteen times made a slave.' 
 He went first to the Indies, then to Ethiopia, thence to Turkey. 
 Here he was purchased by a Greek, (he was then a captive,) 
 and sold to a Jew. Then he was ransomed, and passing to Goa, 
 was received into the service of the king of Portugal. Here he 
 is engaged in astonishing battles, sees the strangest sights, and
 
 392 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 does the daily labor of Hector. Here is one of his largest lies. 
 ' While coasting the ile of Sumatra,' he saith, ' we entred a litel 
 River, and saw athwart a wood such a many adders and crawl- 
 ing creatures, no less prodigious for their length than for the 
 strangeness of their formes, that I shall not marvel if they that 
 read this history will not believe my report of them*' With this 
 preamble, he emboldens himself to say : * Those of this country 
 assured us that these creatures are so hardy as there be some of 
 them will set upon an Armada, when there is not above four or 
 five men in her, and overturn it with their tails, swallowing the 
 men whole, without dismembering them !' Gathering confidence 
 as he gets on, he observes : 
 
 4 In this place also we saw a strange kind of creatures which they call 
 Caquisseitan ; they are of the bigness of a great goose, very black and scaly 
 on their backs, with a row of sharpe pricks on their chins, as long as a wri- 
 ting pen ; moreover they have wings like unto bats, long necks, and a little 
 bone growing on their necks resembling a cock's spur, with a very long 
 tale, spotted black and green, like unto the lizards of that country ; these 
 creatures hop and fly together like grass-hoppers ; and in that manner they 
 hunt apes, and such other beasts, whom they pursue even to the tops of the 
 highest trees. Also we saw adders that were copped on the crowns of their 
 heads, as big as a man's thigh, and so venomous, as the negroes of that 
 country informed us, that if any living thing came within the reach of their 
 breath it died presently, there being no remedy nor antidote against it. 
 We likewise saw others not copped on their crowns, nor so venomous as the 
 former, but far greater and longer, with an head as big as a calf's.' 
 
 In the course of his wanderings, he somehow got into the ser- 
 vice of the king of China, during which time the city of Nanquin 
 was attempted to be taken by the king of Tartaria, but his army 
 was sorely discomfited. Mark the result. ' Now,' says Pinto, 
 * after they had taken an account of all the dead, there appeared 
 four hundred and fifty thousand, the most of whom died by sick- 
 ness, as also an hundred thousand horses, and three score thou- 
 sand rhinocerots, which were eaten in the space of two months 
 and a half, wherein they wanted victual ; so that of eighteen 
 hundred thousand men, wherewith the king of Tartaria came to 
 besiege Pequin, he carried home seven hundred and fifty thou- 
 sand less than he brought.' From carrying on an armament 
 against the king of Mattaban, Pinto becomes ambassador to the 
 court of Calaminham, whose extraordinary magnificence he 
 especially describes, and thence sails down the great river Ritsey, 
 whose banks, if we may believe him, are stocked with marvels. 
 He makes particular mention of ' certain tawny men, who are 
 great archers, having their feet like oxen, but their hands are like 
 unto other men, except that they are exceedingly hairy.' He 
 saw, beside, ' men named Magares, who feed on wild beasts,
 
 * BIC LIARS. 383 
 
 | 
 
 which they eat raw, such as serpents and adders ; they hunt these 
 wild beasts, mounted on certain animals as big as horses, which 
 have three horns in the middle of their foreheads, with thick, 
 short legs, and on the middle of their backs a row of prickles ; 
 all the rest of their body is like a great lizard ; beside, they have 
 on their necks instead of hair, other prickles, far longer and big- 
 ger than those on their backs ; and on the joints of their shoul- 
 ders short wings, (the real hippogriff!) wherewith they fly, as it 
 were leaping the length of five or six-and-twenty paces at a 
 grasp.' 
 
 Let us now see how Sir John Mandeville bears away the palm 
 in 7m Travels, ' werein is sett down y e way to the Holie Lond, 
 or Lond of Behest and Hieruzaleme ; as also to the lends of the 
 Great Caan, and of Prester John ; to Indy and diverse other 
 countries, with manie and straunge merveilles therein.' His 
 tour was commenced in 1322, and ended in 1356, making thir- 
 ty-four years' absence from his native land. He went first to 
 Egypt, and engaged in the service of the Sultan of that country, 
 Melek Maderon. His religion at last induced him to leave that 
 court for the Holy Land. Thence he went to Tartary, where, 
 with four other knights, he was in the service of the Great Chan. 
 His object of travel is thus expressed : ' And for als moche as 
 it is long tyme past that there was no general passage ne vyage 
 over the see ; and many men were desiren for to here speke of 
 the Holy Lond, I, John Mandeville, knyght. that was born in 
 Englond, in the town of Seynt Albones, albeit not worthi, passed 
 the see in the yeere of our Lord lesu Crist MCCCXXII., in the 
 day of Seynt Michelle, and hidre to have ben long tyme over the 
 see, and have seen and gone thorghe divers londs, and manie 
 provinces and kingdomes, and iles, and have passed thorghe 
 Tartarye, Lybye, Calde, and a gret partie of Ethiope ; thorghe 
 Amazoyne, Inde the less and the more, a gret partie, and thorghe- 
 out manie other iles that ben abouten Inde; where dwellen 
 many divers folkes, and of divers manners and laws, and of di- 
 vers schappes of men.' 
 
 Mandeville seemed to labor under a kind of mental elephanti- 
 asis. Nothing was too large for his credit. In dragons and evil 
 spirits, that carried oh their ambulatory carnival on earth, and 
 appeared constantly to the ' stark staring eyes' of men, he had 
 the fullest belief; in fact, if we may trust him, he met with them 
 in great abundance, and saw their nests, as it were, where most 
 they bred and haunted. ' In Ethiope,' as we learn from him, 
 * are such men that have but one foot, and they go so fast that it 
 is a grete marvel ; and that is a large foot, for the shadow there-
 
 384 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 of covereth the body from sun or rain when they lie on their 
 backs.' In the island of Macameran, which is a * great ile and 
 fair,' he says ' the men and women have heads like hounds ; they 
 are reasonable, and worship an ox for their God ; they are good 
 men to fight, and bear a great target wherewith they cover all 
 their body, and a spear in their hand.' The population in the 
 island of Tarkonet, which he visited, receive this mention : * In 
 this ile, all men are as beasts, and dwell in caves, not having 
 wit to make houses. They eat adders, and speke not, but make 
 such noises as the beasts do one to another.' He proceeds : 
 ' There is another ile called Dodyn, and in the same ile are 
 many and divers sorts of men who have evil manners. The 
 King of this ile is a great lord and mighty, and hath in many iles 
 other kings under him ; and in one of these iles are men that 
 have but one eye, and that is in the midst of their front ; which 
 eat their flesh and fish all raw. And in another ile are men that 
 have no heads, and their eyes are in their shoulders, and their 
 mouth in their breasts !' 
 
 This gives Mandeville our ' suffrages' as a superior of Pinto. 
 No doubt his work was familiar to Shakspeare, who unquestion- 
 ably took from it the information which Othello conveyed to the 
 grave and reverend seniors, in his great Defence, wherein he 
 spoke 
 
 *Of antres vast and deserts idle, 
 Of cannibals, that did each other eat, 
 And of the Anthropophagi, men whose heads 
 Do grow beneath tfieir shoulders.' 
 
 Mandeville continues : ' And in another ile nigh-by, are men 
 that have ne head, ne eyen, and their mouth is in their shoulders ! 
 Another ile is there, where be men that have flat faces without 
 nosen and without eyen, but they have two small holes in lew of 
 eyen, and they have flatted nosen, withouten lippes. And also in 
 that ile are men that have their faces all flat, without eyen, with- 
 out mouth, and withouten nose, but they have their eyen and 
 their mouth behind, on their shoulders !' 
 
 The old knight was a perfect Yankee yi inquisitiveness. These 
 are his reasons for going to Tartary. We give them in his own 
 quaint language : ' And yee schalle undirstond that my fellowes 
 and I with our zomen, we serveden this Emperour (of Tartary). 
 and weren his soudyoures fifteen moneths agenst the kyng of 
 Mancy, that held war agenst him. And the cause was, for we 
 hadden grete lust for to see his noblesse, and the estat of his 
 corte, and all his governance, to wyt gif it were soche as we her- 
 den say that it was.'
 
 BIG LIARS. 385 
 
 :, tMS| . 
 
 He regretted, when at Jerusalem, in the Land of Behest, that 
 Tie could not find many of the relics of our Saviour's crucifixion. 
 He gives this account of some of them : ' A part of the crown 
 wherewithal our Lord was crowned, and eke one of the nales, 
 and the speer's hed, and manie other relicks, are in France and 
 Paris, in the kyng's chapelle. This crown was made of junks 
 of the see ; half whereof is at Paris, and the other at Constanti- 
 nople ; and the speer's shafte the emperour of Almany hath. 
 Likewise the emperour of Constantinople saith that he hath the 
 speer's head and I have seen his. 9 
 
 It was a subject of great regret to our traveller, that he did not 
 visit Paradise! a place which he approached 'very nearly,' but 
 concluded somehow not to enter. We wonder not at his scruples 
 of unworthiness, after the large stories he had previously told. 
 Yet on reflection, we can hardly conceive that, after recording 
 V those stupendous narrations, he could shrink from any enterprise. 
 But although he did not visit Paradise in propria persona, he leads 
 - ys to infer that he met a great plenty of persons who had ; and 
 he offers us his information on the subject, with an air of earnest 
 confidence, as if he could not be gainsayed. He knew very 
 well, (if he disbelieved his own story, which is doubtful,) that 
 contradiction was almost impossible, since travel, in those days was 
 a matter of Herculean enterprise, seldom entered upon, save by 
 Quixottes errant, and wights of suspicious integrity of brain. 
 Therefore he was at liberty to speak as he did of the place be- 
 loved by our first parents, and where often 
 
 ' Hand in hand they passed, the loveliest pair 
 That ever since in Love's embraces met : 
 Adam the goodliest man of men, since born 
 His son's, the fairest of her daughters, Eve.' 
 
 He does not enter, like the sublime and imaginative Milton, upon 
 a picture of the verdant coverts of laurel and myrtle, the bright 
 acanthus, the roses, jessamines, crocus, and hyacinth, that 
 * broidered with rich inlay' that holy ground ; but he simply saith : 
 ' Of Paradys ne can I not speken properly, for I was not there. 
 It is far beyond, and that forthinketh me : also I was not worthi. 
 This Paradys is enclosed all about with a wall, and men wyt not 
 whereof it is made, for the walls beinge covered all over with 
 mosse, as it seemeth : and that wall stretchethe fro the South 
 unto the North, and it hath not but one entree, and that is closed 
 with Fyre-brenning.' This idea of the burning fire at the gate 
 of Paradise he derived without question from the early Scriptures, 
 t wherein is recorded the ejection of Adam and Eve from Eden, 
 
 whom God sent forth to till the earth et collocavit ungelum qui 
 
 25
 
 r. 
 
 386 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 * 
 
 praferebat manu igneum gladium, ut cvstodiret aditum Parodist. 
 Indeed the hints of many of his gratuities are drawn from the 
 Sacred Writings, which are thus perverted and obscured to his 
 reader. 
 
 We have written enough, we think, to convince the most 
 skeptical that Mandeville is a preeminent fabulist, worthy to stand 
 like a Colossus among the great Fibbers of the Past. A closer 
 comparison of his claims to distinction in this regard, will add 
 fresh leaves to his crown. We have not forgotten the Pantagruel 
 and Gargantua of Rabelais ; the tin horn and cherry-tree of Mun- 
 chausen ; the Lilliputians that beset Gulliver, nor the extraordi- 
 nary means which he subdued great conflagrations withal ; but 
 for ' large discourse' in fiction, we prefer Mendez Pinto to all of 
 them, and Mandeville to Pinto.
 
 
 
 4* 
 
 
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 387 
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 
 
 AH ADDRESS PRONOUNCED BEFORE THE WASHINGTON SOCIETY OF LAFAY- 
 ETTE COLLEGE, EASTON, PA., JULY 4, 1840. 
 
 THE events which bring a Nation up, as it were, on one day 
 simultaneously together, to worship near the high altars dedica- 
 ted by virtuous patriotism to the genius of liberty, and the ex- 
 pansion of the dear rights of mankind, are of all others, the most 
 ennobling. They constitute the landmarks by which Republics 
 are guided in their career ; they furnish the test whereby men of 
 eminence in a state are tried, and distinguished, or forgotten. 
 On any day, connected with the history of a great man who has 
 done good to his country, there teems a consecrated interest. 
 Why is it, that on certain occasions in the experience of every 
 country but those which are purely despotic, the universal heart 
 of the people throbs forth in sympathetic unison ; that men and 
 women gather together, the one with their energy and pride of 
 presence, the other with the graces and blandishments, which 
 give superior beauty and glow to existence; to celebrate, per- 
 haps the release of a continent, an empire, or a section, from 
 bonds and confusion, into brightness, and liberty, and peace, 
 and to remember, with pleasure and pride, the lofty spirits who 
 ministered to so glorious a consummation ? Why is it, that on 
 such occasions, even reverence wants language, and the spirit of 
 Eulogy has neither boundary nor curb ? It is because, in a just- 
 minded nation, those who mourn, must triumph together ; be- 
 cause, where we lament the upright and the lost, we can yet rev- 
 erence and cherish their example for the living. 
 
 In addressing an Association such as that before which I have 
 now the honor to appear, and which combines, with its own title, 
 that of the institution of which it is, in one high sense, a part, it 
 is impossible, that on a day like this, I could perceive, with re- 
 gard to the distinguished and immortal names of LAFAYETTE 
 and WASHINGTON, a divided duty of remembrance. They 
 were both soldiers of Liberty ; both were in the van-guard of 
 independence and of freedom ; and how few things may be said 
 of the one, which are not equally due to the other ! Let it be 
 our task, then, humbly to develope the greatness and the good- 
 ness evinced in the course of each ; briefly to show forth the
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 high and holy motives by which they were guided the honor- 
 able means and influence they employed in pursuing the advan- 
 tages of which each was successfully the seeker and guide ; and 
 the manner in which, after well-spent lives, they were enabled 
 to look back upon the fruits of their labors with contentment con- 
 cerning the past, and glorious hopes for the future. 
 
 In the College and the Society bearing these two names, 
 there is discernible, in their very adoption, the spirit of consistent 
 and faithful freedom. LAFAYETTE and WASHINGTON, though 
 born in different countries, and under different auspices, were 
 yet kindred spirits. They were reapers, sent forth into the 
 abundant harvest-field of revolutionary triumph. Each of these 
 immortal men seemed conscious that he had come into the world, 
 with lofty 'acts depending on his soul and arm, and which he 
 must fulfil. History tells how they were carried to their com- 
 pletion. 
 
 In treating of the character of LAFAYETTE, it has been too 
 much the custom of our writers and speakers to refer, with more 
 particularity and emphasis, to the course of greatness and benefit 
 which he pursued here so brilliantly on American ground, and 
 in the infancy of the American republic; even when, though a 
 republic in spirit, it had not quite acquired to itself the name. 
 But fondly and gratefully as we may dwell upon those crises and 
 adventures in his wonderful history, there is a double beauty in 
 his earliest and latest efforts for liberty at Home. He was ever 
 on the side of just laws ; but against tyranny of every name, he 
 waged perpetual warfare. Of high birth, and exalted, noble con- 
 nexions, the false chivalry and deceptions of Courts appeared to 
 have no charm for his frank and open mind. His aspirations 
 were of a higher order. Who, in England's history I speak 
 with no invidious comparisons between that country and France 
 has appeared with the same outset, blandishments, and induce- 
 ments to engage in the cause of royal successions, ever turned 
 in his mind, to make them consonant with the cause of freedom, 
 or else to leave them ? 
 
 When, in the calm surveys of history, Time seems to yield 
 up his trophies, and death to restore the mouldered victims of 
 his voiceless band ; and we read of the crimes that cursed, or 
 the bright deeds that blessed a century, we can draw our com- 
 parisons between the man who is merely great from ambition, 
 without being good, or he who is at once, in uniform act and in- 
 tention, from youth to age, both great and good together. Let 
 us, for example, compare the deaths of Cromwell, or Richard of 
 Bosworth field, and that of Lafayette at La Grange. Crom-
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON.* 389 
 
 well, full of unquenchable passions, was fierce and desperate to 
 the last ; and how died he, who, with Plantagenets, and turmoils, 
 and murders, held his very life a mystery, to be solved as Fate 
 might utter, caring not for deeds of darkness or a wounded 
 name ? Roll back the tide of years, and see him : the fragrance 
 of Summer is in his nostrils, as he gazes through the midnight 
 upon the watch-fires of the armies, and hears the armorers ac- 
 complishing the knights, and the neighing war-horse waiting for 
 the noise of the captains and the shouting ; but his spirit is ill at 
 ease ; the merit of defeat which is due him, he knows full well ; 
 and the light of his star has a baleful significance, as he sinks to 
 his troubled rest. Then, 
 
 Mark the sceptred traitor slumbering ! 
 
 There flit the slaves of Conscience round ; 
 With boding tongue foul murders numbering 
 
 Sleep's leaden portals catch the sound. 
 In his dream of blood, for mercy quaking, 
 At his own dull scream ! behold his waking ! 
 Hark ! the trumpet's warning breath, 
 Echoes round that vale of death. 
 Unhorsed, unhelmed, disdaining shield, 
 The panting tyrant scours the field. 
 
 Vengeance ! he meets thy dooming blade ! 
 The scourge of earth, the scorn of Heaven 
 He falls unwept and unforgiven, 
 And all his guilty glories fade. 
 Like a crushed reptile in the dust he lies, 
 And Hate's last lightnings quiver from his eyes ! 
 
 Sprague's Ode to Shakspeare. 
 
 Thus perished one of the most famous dukes of England I 
 How did the Marquis of La Grange expire? As the setting 
 sun descends to his beautiful evening pavilion, with gorgeous 
 companies of clouds waiting around him, until in the bright 
 waters of the West, he sinks to ' where his islands of refresh- 
 ment lie !' 
 
 When LAFAYETTE came to America, with a noble apprehen- 
 sion in his heart, that our great crisis could not transact itself 
 without him, his native land was just fermenting into a condition, 
 wherein, if he had been so basely-minded, he might have attained 
 an eminence, commanding half that kingdom. What he did 
 here, we know ; how he co-operated with the ' Saviour of his 
 Country,' for her good ; the wounds of his green youth, at Bran- 
 dywine ; his coping with Cornwallis, who declared that ' the boy 
 should not escape him ;' his forced marches to Virginia ; the 
 liberality with which he poured out, like water, his treasure and 
 credit for the welfare of those troops, who were but too happy to
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 serve under him ; the siege of Yorktown ; his repeated return, 
 after his first visit, together with his efforts in Spain to assist the 
 American cause, which peace happily rendered unnecessary ; 
 these facts are but household words, on American tongues. 
 Thank Heaven ! they are words that come from the heart, and 
 yet have no gloss of newness, or of momentary show. Let us 
 bear in mind, that on his last return, but one, to France, after 
 being elected to the membership of the National Assembly, he 
 was appointed the Commander-in-chief of the National Guards 
 of Paris, two days after the celebrated attack upon the Bastille. 
 How might the effect of this attack have worked upon the mind 
 of a hero, wrongly ambitious? 
 
 History answers this question, in the biography of so many 
 persons that it would demand and deserve volumes to chronicle, 
 either their doings or the consequences of those doings. Re- 
 corders or annalists, BAILLY, DUSAULX, BESANVAL ; not to 
 name innumerable others, by letter or printed page, kept up the 
 record of that dreadful time, as pictures for posterity. How 
 triumphantly could LAFAYETTE have careered upon that storm ; 
 not only with glory, but without danger ? And yet, politically 
 speaking, it was, for a season, the Euroclydon of France. Even 
 in our far-off western America ' our own green forest-land' 
 the scenes of the Revolution in France were familiar to youthful 
 minds and eyes, and reveries ; and the keeper who let forth ' The 
 Aged Prisoner, Released from the Bastille,' was ranked with 
 Giant Despair, of Doubting Castle, in the ' Pilgrim's Progress' 
 of BUNYAN, who accidentally condescended to sleep, or be indif- 
 ferent, or otherwise engaged, while his victims were departing. 
 
 Such were even the rudest notions here, of an event which 
 struck awe through France. It awakens our highest admiration 
 of LAFAYETTE, that while he might have profited in wielding, 
 at this moment, the Parisian populace at will, he sought no 
 power, not justly and purely derived. The flag of France re- 
 ceived, at that time, as it were, from his hand, the last emblem 
 of the tri-color; and his prophecy has been fulfilled, that it 
 passes in triumph around the world. He had seen, in America, 
 that honest revolution was not disobedient to honest domestic 
 laws ; and with that glorious lesson before him, he followed it in 
 practice to the utmost, until his death. He showed, in all things, 
 that he was in very deed a republican. In opposing, with Bail- 
 ly, the Jacobin club ; in swearing, in the name of four millions 
 of National Guards, fidelity to the Constitution ; in advocating 
 the extinction of empty titles of nobility, and renouncing his own ; 
 in the dungeons of Austria ; in his watchful, yet characteristic
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 
 
 391 
 
 course with that great captain of his age, Napoleon ; in the revo- 
 lution of eighteen hundred and thirty and in the serene decline 
 of his many and useful years who, and how few, of the various 
 military and civil dignitaries, that in Europe have risen, and 
 shone, and fell, have been his parallel ? 
 
 It has been said by a distinguished and far-reaching spirit of 
 the nineteenth century, that there is that within the life of the 
 humblest mortal, which, well considered, would furnish forth the 
 substance and material of an epic poem. If that be true, that 
 must be a daring mind, a mind of utter leisure, and with a strong 
 and sustaining wing, which would attempt to pour forth, in verse, 
 the deeds of daring and of greatness, of comprehensive benevo- 
 lence, and Christian virtue, which signalized LAFAYETTE. 
 What an extended and changeful picture unfolds itself, in con- 
 nexion with his last visit to our shores ! A boundless continent, 
 which, when he had before come among us, was the abode of a 
 terrified population ; of wild beasts of prey, and wilder savages, 
 glutting, whensoever and wheresoever they could, their thirst for 
 human blood, had begun to bud and bloom, and blossom as the 
 rose. Cities, towns, and villages, had sprung up to beautify the 
 waste places of the republic ; and where streams which might 
 cross the Atlantic, were beforetime shadowed with interminable 
 forests, he beheld the smoking chariots of Fulton, gliding in 
 their majesty and might ; innumerable marts, gilding and suffus- 
 ing with life and business, the length and breadth of the land ; a 
 united people ; a sacred constitution ; and the prospects of a 
 nation, brilliant beyond the utmost blazon of the pencil, of the 
 pen. Where the Delaware slept near its springs, in calm tran- 
 quillity or overshadowed murmurings, he saw the marks of glo- 
 rious improvements, linking realm with realm in our confederacy ; 
 and her institutions, grants, and intellectual Associations, per- 
 petuating his name. 
 
 Let us now briefly turn to WASHINGTON. We can not do the 
 injustice to any here present to suppose it requisite to particu- 
 larize the great events in the career of that incomparable man. 
 But, if this republic ever incurs the charge of being ungrateful 
 to her largest benefactor, next to the ALMIGHTY, it will be when 
 it shall be considered repetition to venerate his character and 
 laud his deeds. We will not go over the red battle-fields of his 
 country, where he shone in conquest, or signalized his military 
 stratagie in retreat. The whole synthesis, so to speak, of his 
 character, was to deserve success, and h'e ever achieved it. The 
 character of WASHINGTON was such that it overawed those Who
 
 392 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 plotted against him, and discomfited his enemies. When lie 
 rebuked an Arnold, we seem to see, in that office, the action, 
 and almost to hear the voice, of Cicero against the Roman con- 
 spirator, while he charged him, in the senate, with having, on 
 the -previous evening, at M. Lucca's house, divided Italy into 
 shares with his accomplices ; some for the field, and others for 
 the capitol. WASHINGTON had the power of making a corrupt 
 ambition quail before him, at the same time that he caused the 
 effects of that ambition, through precept, not through example 
 of his enemies, to operate in his behalf. In this, there was 
 something more than the hero. He, who on the field of battle, 
 could call his indomitable legions, and ' perpetual glories round 
 him,' in the wars of the republic, could, in his walks of peace, 
 invoke the co-operation and the counsel of the philosopher and 
 the Christian. In the laws of God, he saw and recognised the 
 laws of man. He heard the voice of the people in favor of a 
 course upon which he could look back at its close with satis- 
 faction and with pride ; and he recognised it as the voice of 
 Heaven, which first called him to the field of conflict, and 
 crowned his efforts for his country with abundant success. He 
 never knew what it was to falter, in any undertaking. With an 
 estimate of chances in his mind, which bespoke not only the 
 man of caution, but the man of nerve, he shrunk from no en- 
 terprise. The result showed that he regarded the right, which 
 he was to vindicate, in the truest light. He knew that he was 
 not laboring for himself ; the glory that pertained to the perform- 
 ance of genuine duty, he was aware would accrue to him, in an 
 abundant harvest ; but this, with him, was a secondary consid- 
 eration. So thoroughly was his great mind imbued with the 
 truth, that one who devotes himself rightfully and sincerely to 
 his country, becomes, of consequence, whether successful or un- 
 successful, an heir of fame among all the sons of freedom, that 
 he acted always on that principle, in the midst of the severest 
 trials to which his military and civic career was subjected. He 
 replied to calumny with silence ; against artful and hidden op- 
 position, with which he triumphantly contended, he opposed 
 only the shield of his own rectitude, and appealed only, as a 
 guaranty for the future, to the past records of his career of glory. 
 While state after state, combined to do him honor ; after a bril- 
 liant military and civic life, he retires to Mount Vernon, in quest 
 of his much-loved repose, which the best of men have ever loved ; 
 and like the pure Scipio, on the Cumaean shore, addressed them- 
 selves in their privacy to the benefit of mankind. In this posi- 
 tion, as himself did, we have leisure to survey the calm bright-
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 393 
 
 ness of his nature, and the inestimable value of the services he 
 had rendered to freedom throughout the world. There is an 
 analysis of his character, by his friend and faithful adviser, and 
 the philosopher of his age, the illustrious MARSHALL, which has 
 never been surpassed by any American or European pen. Nothing 
 can be added to it, without producing tawdry ornament, or blind 
 hyperbole ; nothing taken away, without diminishing the wonder- 
 ful and perfect symmetry of the whole. 
 
 ' The manners of WASHINGTON,' he tells us, ' were rather re- 
 served than free, though they partook nothing of that dryness and 
 sternness which accompany reserve, when carried to an extreme ; 
 and on all proper occasions, he would relax sufficiently to show 
 how highly he was gratified by the charms of conversation, and 
 the pleasures of society. His person and whole deportment ex- 
 hibited an unaffected and indescribable dignity, unmingled with 
 haughtiness, of which, all who approached him were sensible, 
 and the attachment of those who possessed his friendship, and 
 enjoyed his intimacy, was ardent, but always respectful. His 
 temper was humane, benevolent, and conciliatory ; but there 
 was quickness in his sensibility to anything apparently offensive, 
 which experience had taught him to watch and correct. In the 
 management of his private affairs, he exhibited an exact yet liberal 
 economy. His funds were not prodigally wasted on capricious 
 and ill-examined schemes, nor refused to beneficial, though cost- 
 ly improvements ; they remained, therefore, competent to that 
 expensive establishment, which his reputation, added to his hospi- 
 table temper, had in some measure imposed upon him, and to 
 those donations which real distress has a right to claim from opu- 
 lence. He made no pretensions to that vivacity which fascinates, 
 or to that wit which dazzles and frequently imposes on the un- 
 derstanding. More solid than brilliant, judgment rather than 
 genius constituted the most prominent feature of his character. 
 As a military man, he was brave, enterprising, and cautious. 
 That malignity which has sought to strip him of all the higher 
 qualities of a general, has conceded to him personal courage, and 
 a firmness of resolution which neither dangers nor difficulties 
 could shake. But candor will allow him other great and valua- 
 ble endowments. If his military course does not abound with 
 splendid achievements, it exhibits a series of judicious measures, 
 adapted to circumstances, which probably saved his country. 
 Placed, without having studied the theory or been taught in the 
 school of experience the practice of war, at the head of an un- 
 disciplined, ill-organized multitude, which was unused to the re- 
 straints, and unacquainted with the ordinary duties of a camp j.
 
 394 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 without the aid of officers possessing those lights which the c( 
 mander-in-chief was yet to acquire, it would have been a miracle 
 indeed had his conduct been altogether faultless. But possess- 
 ing an energetic and distinguishing mind, on which the lessons 
 of experience were never lost, his errors, if he committed any, 
 were quickly repaired ; and those measures which the state of 
 things rendered most advisable, were seldom if ever, neglected. 
 Inferior to his adversary in the numbers, in the equipment, and 
 in the discipline of his troops, it is evidence of real merit that no 
 great and decisive advantages were ever obtained over him, and 
 the opportunity to strike an important blow never passed away 
 unused. He has been termed the American Fabius ; but those 
 who compare his actions with his means, will perceive at least as 
 much of Marcellus as of Fabius in his character. He could not 
 have been more enterprising, without endangering the cause he 
 defended, nor have put more to hazard, without incurring, justly, 
 the imputation of rashness. Not relying upon those chances 
 which sometimes give a favorable issue to attempts apparently 
 desperate, his conduct was regulated by calculations, made upon 
 the capacities of his army, and the real situation of his country. 
 When called a second time to command the armies of the United 
 States, a change of circumstances had taken place, and he medi- 
 tated a corresponding change of conduct. In modeling the army 
 of seventeen hundred and ninety-eight, he sought for men dis- 
 tinguished for their boldness of execution, not less for their pru- 
 dence in council, and contemplated a system of continued attack. 
 ' The enemy,' said the General, in his private letters, ' must 
 never be permitted to gain foothold on our shores.' In his civil 
 administration, as in his military career, were exhibited ample and 
 repeated proofs of that practical good sense, of that sound judg- 
 ment, which is, perhaps, the most rare, and is certainly the most 
 valuable quality of the human mind. Devoting himself to the 
 duties of his station, and pursuing no object distinct from the 
 public good, he was accustomed to contemplate, at a distance, 
 those critical situations in which the United States might proba- 
 bly be placed, and to digest, before the occasion required action, 
 the line of conduct which it would be proper to observe. Taught 
 to distrust first impressions, he sought to acquire all the informa- 
 tion which was attainable, and to hear without prejudice all the 
 reasons which could be urged for or against a particular measure. 
 His own judgment was suspended until it became necessary to 
 determine, and his decisions, thus maturely made, were seldom, 
 if ever, to be shaken. His conduct, therefore, was systematic, 
 and the great objects of his administration were steadily pursued.
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 395 
 
 Respecting, as the first magistrate in a free government must 
 ever do, the real and deliberate sentiments of the people, their 
 gusts of passion passed over without ruffling the smooth surface 
 of his mind. Trusting to the reflecting good sense of the nation 
 for approbation and support, he had the magnanimity to pursue 
 its real interests in opposition to its temporary prejudices, and, 
 though far from being regardless of popular favor, he could 
 never stoop to retain, by deserving to lose it. In more instances 
 than one, we find him committing his whole popularity to hazard, 
 and pursuing steadily, in opposition to a torrent, which would 
 have overwhelmed a man of ordinary firmness, that course which 
 had been dictated by a sense of duty. In speculation he was a 
 real republican, devoted to the constitution of his country, and to 
 that system of equal political rights on which it is founded. But 
 between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is 
 like that between chaos and order. Real liberty, he thought was 
 to be preserved only by preserving the authority of the laws, and 
 maintaining the energy of government. Scarcely did society 
 present two characters, which, in his opinion, less resembled 
 each other than a patriot and a demagogue. No man has ever 
 appeared upon the theatre of public action whose integrity was 
 more incompatible, or whose principles were more perfectly free 
 from the contamination of those selfish and unworthy passions 
 which find their nourishment in the conflicts of party. Having 
 no views which required concealment, his real and avowed mo- 
 tives were the same ; and his whole correspondence does not 
 furnish a single case, from which even an enemy would infer that 
 he was capable, under any circumstances, of stooping to the em- 
 ployment of duplicity. No truth can be uttered with more con- 
 fidence, than that his ends were always upright, and his means 
 always pure. He exhibits the rare example of a politician, to 
 whom wiles were absolutely unknown, and whose professions to 
 foreign governments, and to his own countrymen, were always 
 sincere. In him was fully exemplified the real distinction 
 which forever exists between wisdom and cunning, and the im- 
 portance, as well as truth of the maxim, that ' honesty is the best 
 policy.' If WASHINGTON possessed ambition, that passion was, 
 in his bosom, so regulated by principles, or controlled by cir- 
 cumstances, that it was neither vicious nor turbulent. Intrigue 
 was never employed as the means of its gratification, nor was 
 personal aggrandizement its object. The various high and im- 
 portant stations to which he was called by the public voice were 
 unsought by himself: and in consenting to fill them, he seems 
 rather to have yielded to a general conviction that the interest
 
 396 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 would be thereby promoted, than to his particular inclination. 
 Neither the extraordinary partiality of the American people, the 
 extravagant praises which were bestowed upon him, nor the in- 
 veterate opposition and malignant calumnies which he expe- 
 rienced, had any visible influence on his conduct. The cause is 
 to be looked for in the texture of his mind. In him, that innate 
 and unassuming modesty, which adulation would have offended, 
 which the voluntary plaudits of millions could not betray into in- 
 discretion, and which never obtruded upon others his claims to 
 superior consideration, was happily blended with a high and cor- 
 rect sense of personal dignity, and with a just consciousness of 
 that respect which is due to station. Without exertion, he could 
 maintain the happy medium between that arrogance which 
 wounds, and that facility which allows the office to be degraded 
 in the person who fills it. It is impossible to contemplate the 
 great events which have occurred in the United States, under the 
 auspices of WASHINGTON, without ascribing them, in some meas- 
 ure, to him. If we ask the causes of the prosperous issue of a 
 war, against the successful termination of which there were so 
 many probabilities ; of the good which was produced, and the 
 ill which was avoided during an administration fated to contend 
 with the strongest prejudices that a combination of circumstances, 
 and of passions could produce ; of the constant favor of the 
 great mass of his fellow-citizens, and of the confidence which, to 
 to the last moment of his life, they reposed in him the answer, 
 so far as these causes may be found in his character, will furnish 
 a lesson well meriting the attention of those who are candidates 
 for fame. Endowed by nature with a sound judgment, and an 
 accurate, discriminating mind, he feared not that laborious atten- 
 tion which made him perfectly master of those subjects, in all 
 their relations, on which he was to decide ; and this essential 
 quality was guided by an unvarying sense of moral right, which 
 would tolerate the employment only of those means that would 
 bear the most rigid examination, by a fairness of intention, 
 which neither sought nor required disguise, and by a purity of 
 virtue which was not only untainted, but unsuspected.' 
 
 Such was WASHINGTON : a combination and a form where 
 every human grace and virtue appeared to have set an indelible 
 seal. If we look at the various peculiarities of the various great 
 men, for example, of the ancient republic, we shall find that he 
 embraced the good ones of them all : 
 
 His was Octavian's prosperous star, 
 The rush of Cresar's conquering car, 
 At Battle's call
 
 LAFAYETTE AND WASHINGTON. 397 
 
 His Scipio's virtue ; his, the skill, 
 And the indomitable will 
 
 Of Hannibal. 
 
 The clemency of Antonine, 
 And pure Aurelius' love divine ; 
 In tented field and bloody fray, 
 An Alexander's vigorous sway, 
 
 And stern command : 
 The faith of Constantine ay, more 
 The fervent love Camillus bore 
 
 His native land.* 
 
 But the crowning glory of WASHINGTON'S course, was its 
 close. Nothing could be more glorious than such a life, but 
 such a death. Encircled by his family; watched by eyes that 
 loved him, and attended with tender ministrations, his body 
 parted from his soul, and that immortal guest of his earthly 
 tabernacle ascended to Heaven. As that hour approached, his 
 contentment and peace were indescribable. He saw, if his 
 thoughts were then momentarily of earth, through the long vista 
 of coming years, the grandeur and beauty of a new republic, 
 made free by his hand ; teeming with all kinds of riches, and 
 filling with a virtuous and well-governed people. How beautiful 
 a prospect ! We read, of late, of the death of a king of Europe, 
 who, when on his dying pillow, caused a mirror to be placed 
 near his bed, that he might see his army defile in their glittering 
 uniforms before him; an insubstantial picture mere shadows 
 on glass, showing in a most striking emblem, how the glory of 
 this world passeth away. But WASHINGTON had retired from 
 his armies ; throughout the land, 
 
 ' Glad Peace was tinkling in the farmer's bell, 
 And singing with the reapers :' 
 
 and he had no regret in his hour of departure. 
 
 Can we scarcely refrain from allowing to that hour, the unut- 
 terable splendor of an apotheosis ? He had fought his warfare ; 
 he had left his testimony for the rights of men, and obedience to 
 Heaven ; and is it too much to imagine him looking, at his last 
 moment, toward Heaven, with his dying eyes, and exclaiming 
 with chastened rapture : 
 
 'WHAT means yon blaze on high ? 
 
 The empyrean sky, 
 
 Like the rich veil of some proud fane, is rending ; 
 I see the star-paved land, 
 Where all the angels stand, 
 
 * Coplas de Manrique.
 
 39S PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 * 
 
 ' ? 
 Even to the highest height, in burning rows ascending ; 
 
 Some with their wings outspread, 
 
 And bowed the stately head, 
 As on some errand of GOD'S love departing, 
 Like flames from evening conflagration starting; 
 The heralds of OMNIPOTENCE are they, 
 And nearer earth they come, to waft my soul away !' 
 
 _
 
 MEPHISTOPHILES IN NEW-YORK. 399 
 
 MEPHISTOPHILES IN NEW-YORK. 
 
 1 MILLIONS of spiritual creatures walk the earth 
 Unseen, both when we wake, and when we sleep.' 
 
 THE BARD or EDEN. 
 
 WHEN the last moon was new, at the hour of midnight, I as- 
 cended to the house-top of my dwelling, to pass an hour in si- 
 lence and meditation. The solemn skies, fretted with dazzling 
 stars, and ' thick inlaid with patines of bright gold,' rose sublime- 
 ly above me. The winds of autumn surged and murmured in my 
 ear, as they swept from distant woods and waters, filling me with 
 profound and lofty imaginations. There are few things so im- 
 pressive to my fancy as the moaning of autumnal winds. They 
 stir the painted leaves with a melancholy rustle ; the faded hon- 
 ors of the summer sink upon their wings, and they float onward 
 like the sighs of mourners at a funeral, or the voice of some 
 viewless spirit, infusing into the awe-struck mind a vision of 
 eternity. At this time, I was peculiarly chastened and subdued. 
 I thought of the frailty of my being ; of the friends I had lost, 
 and of the uncertain tenure wherewith those who remained were 
 folded to my bosom. I thought of the re-visitation of immortal in- 
 telligences on the earth ; and as a mass of many-colored foliage, 
 whose tendrils had overrun a towering edifice near me, waved to 
 the breeze, meseemed I heard the accents of buried friends, 
 coming back to my hearing as in vanished days. A deep feeling 
 of mystery stole upon me ; a sense of awe, which I can not de- 
 scribe. ' What,' I soliloquized, ' should prevent the communion 
 of embodied and disembodied souls ? Why should there not 
 come to us, in these sad and spiritual hours, the habitants of 
 other and brighter worlds, to tell us that beyond this dim diurnal 
 sphere, where change and decay are ever occurring, there are 
 places where the loves of the heart are not broken by death ; 
 where the flowers are forever in blossom, and no eye becomes 
 dim ? It is a sweet and tranquilizing thought. It lifts my soul, 
 and I feel that I am immortal. Why should we not mingle with 
 the departed, in spiritual communion ? Do they not come to 
 us sometimes ; are they not present with us, though we know it 
 not? 
 
 How often from the steep 
 Of echoing hill or thicket, can we hear 
 Celestial voices ?
 
 400 . PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 And who has not seemed to hear, in dreams and reveries, the ac- 
 cents of the departed ? 
 
 Filled with these thoughts, I sat upon the house-top, watching 
 a few clouds that lay along the West, over the dim hills of Jer- 
 sey. They were of curious and fantastic shape, continually 
 changing, like the palest colors of a kaleidoscope. At last, one 
 of them appeared to separate in a waving fleece from the rest, 
 and to approach the city. Flakes of fairy light seemed playing 
 around it as it came, and as it passed over the river, the reflec- 
 tion, like a golden column, trembled in the water. A light mist 
 soon gathered about me ; an odor, like the pure breath which 
 we sometimes inhale on high mountains, hovered near ; and in 
 the twinkling of an eye, the cloud took a human shape. Huge 
 wings expanded from its shoulders, tinct with innumerable hues ; 
 form and features were established before me ; and a Spirit, full 
 of beauty and intelligence, passed by my side, and paused where 
 I stood. 
 
 ' Fear not,' said the Spirit, in tones whose awful sweetness 
 still lingers in my ear, ' I am thy better angel. Thou thirstest 
 for knowledge ; thou art poring evermore over ancient books, 
 and uncouth tomes in difficult characters, to study man. Thou 
 needest better helps for thy desire. Thou hast need to look, 
 and to see thy fellows ; to compare the fate of those whom thou 
 raayest envy or pity, with thine own ; then wilt thou feel at thy 
 heart the voice of contentment and the charm of tranquility.' 
 
 As I heard these words, I looked up, and lo ! the Vision was 
 gone. All was stillness around me ; but by my side there lay a 
 telescope of pearl. On its edge, in letters of light, it was thus 
 written : 
 
 ' Mortal ! by this gift thou art endowed with the faculty of un- 
 obstructed sight. That which bounds and circumscribes the ob- 
 servation of others, shall have no power over thine own. Walls 
 and gates shall melt before thy glance, as thou lookest : the hu- 
 man heart shall be unveiled before thee, with all its wonders. 
 Gaze, then, mortal, and remember as thou gazest, that thy super- 
 natural present is of short duration.' 
 
 I lifted the mysterious object with a trembling hand. I raised 
 it to my eye, and directed it toward the street beneath me. A 
 flood of light seemed to play around the direction in which I 
 turned, and every thing became visible. The Great Thorough- 
 fare, over which so many thousands had walked during the day, 
 was solemn and deserted. A few faint lamps, almost obscured 
 by the superior radiance which flowed from my instrument, could 
 be perceived, twinkling in feeble rows afar, stretching to the
 
 MEPHISTOPHILES IN NEW-YORK. 401 
 
 glimmering waters of the bay. At intervals a belated reveler 
 went reeling to his home. 
 
 I gazed with eager attention. Now and then, I could per- 
 ceive a familiar visage. At last I beheld, standing by the steps 
 of a proud mansion, a youth whom I recognised as an admirer 
 of one of its young inmates. He was holding by the railing of 
 the steps, and looking up with maudlin eyes toward a window 
 whose shutters were tightly closed. No one was considered 
 more exemplary in life and conduct than himself. He was a 
 communicant of the church, a devout reader of prayers on Sun- 
 day, and one whose responses in the litany were ever solemn 
 and sonorous. He was betrothed to the damsel of whom I have 
 spoken ; while she, unknowing of his declining goodness, wasted 
 upon him all her wealth of love. 
 
 I lifted my instrument to the window where the intoxicated 
 youth was gazing. The wall and casement melted away like a 
 scroll ; and I saw, kneeling by a bed-side, a young lady in pray- 
 er. Her hands were clasped in earnest supplication ; she lifted 
 her dove-like eyes to heaven, and implored blessings for her be- 
 loved one, until her cheeks were wet with tears. Then rising, 
 she sought her pillow, and shading with rich locks her sweet face, 
 sunk into slumber. 
 
 I moved my glass and looked yet farther. A wall melted 
 again from my vision ; and in a beautiful apartment, studded 
 with splendid furniture, a lady reclined upon an ottoman, rock- 
 ing to sleep a cherub babe. Her tears fell fast, as she mused ; 
 and now and then a feeble wail escaped her lips, half lullaby, 
 half sigh. Ever and anon, the infant would ' ope its violet eyes,' 
 and smile with its coral mouth upon the anxious mother who 
 kept a vigil by his side. 
 
 ' Sweet boy !' she faltered, ' would that thy father were come!' 
 and then she kissed the babe, with fond enthusiasm. She con- 
 tinued alternately to sing and weep. Soon, I beheld a door open, 
 and the husband enter. Care sat upon his features. His fore- 
 head was shadowed as with a cloud. He sat down by his wife 
 and child, in sullen despondency. 
 
 'Well, my love,' he said, with firm and resolute accents, ' a 
 change is coming upon us. Heretofore we have been affluent, 
 luxurious, and as the world said, happy. Gold has been ours in 
 benevolent profusion. With me, how prosperous has been the 
 world ! My ships have returned to me with the treasures of 
 other climes ; enormous profits have ensued from my adventures ; 
 and Hope herself has never belied her promise. Now we are 
 changed. I have been inspecting my accounts j my losses have 
 
 26 
 
 *
 
 402 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 quadrupled my gains for the past year ; in short, Louisa, we are 
 almost beggars ! What shall we do ?' 
 
 ' We will trust in GOD,' said his affectionate wife, pressing her 
 lips to his forehead. 
 
 ' Oh, none of this !' replied the impatient husband ; ' there is no 
 balm in your lips to heal my sorrow. It cures not my distress, 
 it brightens not my prospect. We have too much of loving acts, 
 while poverty stands at our door. I like not your inappropriate 
 affection. As my favorite Middleton sings : 
 
 'Is there no friendship betwixt man and wife, 
 Unless they make a pigeon-house of wedlock, 
 And be still billing?' 
 
 No, Louisa, take little Charles to his couch, and do you retire 
 also. I would be alone. I will come to you soon. Leave me 
 alone.' 
 
 The wife obeyed, and retired to her apartment. Then I saw that 
 the countenance of the husband settled into a look of solemn and 
 calm resolve. He fastened close the door through which his wife 
 and child had retired, and carefully surveying the apartment, drew 
 a pistol from his bosom, and placed it on the table before him. 
 His face grew pale. Desperate thoughts were struggling in his 
 mind. ' Yes,' he muttered, ' I might as well die as live. She 
 will be happier, if she returns a widow to the roof of her revered 
 parent, than she would to remain with me ; a broken merchant, 
 a depressed, degraded citizen, a ruined man. Were it not bet- 
 ter that I sink at once into the grave, and bury my sorrows in its 
 bosom ? Oh yes ; for there the wicked cease from troubling^ 
 and the weary are at rest. No treacherous friends can there re- 
 pay my goodness with ingratitude, or make the name which 
 has been recorded for their benefit, a mockery and a by-word. 
 With what countenance could I meet my astonished friends, af- 
 ter the hour of three to-morrow ! I should shrink from every 
 gaze ! No ! thanks to this friendly weapon, I can escape be- 
 yond the frowns and curses of man. I will die /' 
 
 My heart knocked audibly against my ribs, as I saw the mel- 
 ancholy merchant make his deadly preparations. He cocked 
 the pistol ; he unbuttoned his waistcoat, and parting the bosom, 
 of his shirt, placed the fatal instrument against his heart. He 
 paused a moment. ' I must write to Louisa 1 must ask her for- 
 giveness.' He took up his pen, and began to write : he laid it 
 by as suddenly as he grasped it. 
 
 A beam of light seemed to play across his forehead as he laid 
 it down. * There is one hope,' he whispered, with a kind of 
 
 *,
 
 MEPHISTOPHILBS IN NEW-YORK. 403 
 
 nervous chuckle in his throat, ' one hope to cling to. I will try 
 its promise ; I will adopt the plan it has suggested. I know it 
 is desperate ; I know it is wicked ; but GOD forgive me ! The 
 insufferable agony which tempts me the bitter thoughts which 
 madden my spirit may they excuse me !' 
 
 He arose, and arranging his habiliments, sought the street 
 with a stealthy and hurried tread. No barrier concealed him 
 from my view. I followed his course as he passed through sev- 
 eral thoroughfares, until I traced him to a vile and obscure lane, 
 where he paused before a dwelling far too elegant for the neigh- 
 hood in which it was situated, and entered. My glance was 
 close upon his foot-steps. He continued his way through a 
 dusky corridor, and knocked loudly at a glass door, before which 
 hung a curtain of blue silk. It opened ; and what a scene ap- 
 peared ! Stretched through a long saloon, were some twelve or 
 thirteen card-tables, each surrounded with victims and victors. 
 Groans, curses, and laughter, were confusedly mingled together ; 
 some of the multitude were pale with rage and fear ; others al- 
 most frantic with joy. It seemed a blending of Paradise and 
 Pandemonium. 
 
 The merchant approached one of the tables, and obtaining a 
 seat, took out his pocket-book containing a bank-note of twenty 
 dollars. ' It is all on earth,' he murmured, with a sigh, ' that I 
 can call my own ! If I should lose, then I myself am lost, for- 
 ever: if I win, I live. GOD help my poor wife and child!' 
 
 The play was rouge et noir. The merchant changed his note 
 at a side table, and bet in fives. He lost. Fifteen dollars were 
 swiftly swept away. The last five was staked. It won ! 
 
 He played again and won : he went on. Note after note rus- 
 tled in his hand : he redoubled his ventures, and the duplicate 
 harvests still continued to come into his garner. His eye beam- 
 ed, his cheek was flushed, and he laughed ever and anon with a 
 convulsive joy. Thousands on thousands rolled into his posses- 
 sion. His partner was a young blood about town ; a prodigal 
 of that class depicted by Thompson in his Castle of Indolence : 
 
 - 'A gaudy spendthrift heir, 
 All glossy, gay, enamelled all with gold, 
 The silly tenant of the summer air. 
 In folly lost, of nothing takes he care: 
 Pimps, lawyers, stewards, harlots, flatterers vile, 
 And thieving tradesmen him among them share: 
 His father's ghost from limbo lake the while, 
 Sees this, which more damnation doth upon him pile.' 
 
 There seemed to be no end to the success of the merchant, 
 Chance was his, and he soon received all bis opponent's funds. 

 
 404 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 * How much have you lost?' he inquired of the loser. 
 
 ' Oh, curse it ! just a trifle. I had between eight and nine 
 thousand dollars when I came : I had lost only a few hundreds 
 when you entered. You have the rest, and my good Sir, I 
 wish you joy of it. Thank the Lord, I have got enough more.' 
 
 ' Bjelieve me,' said the merchant, ' you shall not lose it. I 
 will restore it to you, and that ere long. My success has saved 
 my life,' he whispered : ' and now to my Charles and Louisa ! 
 Chance has preserved me, and I shall not be a bankrupt. I 
 shall meet my demands to-morrow ! I am safe !' 
 
 He burst from the ' Hell 1 where he had played, and hastened 
 home. That door which closed upon him did not hide, him from 
 my gaze. I saw him hurry to the bedside of his wife and child, 
 and kneeling there, he whispered a fervent and humble prayer 
 
 for forgiveness of his Maker. 
 
 ****** 
 
 IT was his first game but not his last. The lapse of two 
 weeks saw him crowned with independence, and his victim clan- 
 destinely paid. Fortune smiled upon his sudden purchase and dis- 
 posal of estates ; and when I next saw him by day, the envy of 
 his fellows, and apparently the happiest of his kind, I thought, 
 * How few can know like me, that but so lately his life depended 
 upon the hazard of a cast !' . . . AND what a hazard was 
 that ! Gambling is a magical stream, in which, if you but wet 
 the sole of your foot, you must needs press on, until the waters 
 have closed over you forever. That husband and father died a 
 despairing, wretched gamester, leaving his family a prey to pov- 
 erty and sorrow. 
 
 
 
 
 '*
 
 LANGUAGE. 
 
 LANGUAGE. 
 
 THE capabilities of our vernacular are not duly appreciated. 
 Without going back to the simple strength and sublimity of the 
 mater languarum, or discussing the merits of any other tongue 
 that has prevailed since the brick-layers and stone-masons of 
 Babel fell into a state of strike either for want of order, 
 or for higher wages we venture to observe that the English 
 tongue is the richest in the world. Its sublimity is ' compound- 
 ed from many simples,' and sources, as any one may know by 
 consulting the pages of that burly and bilious philologist, Sam. 
 Johnson. Latin, Greek, Saxon, German, and eke the French, 
 may especially be found in the garner of its circumscription. It 
 is capable of infinite diversity. The multitude of its synonyms, 
 the full array of its adverbs and adjectives, render it indeed the 
 best of languages. 
 
 We have said thus much, in order to pave the way for a few 
 specimens of the graceful expansion which a short phrase in 
 English may be made to undergo. Refinement seems to be the 
 increasing passion of the time, and language is forced to partake 
 of its prevalence. Several of our contemporaries have caught 
 the polishing mania, and the clothing of common thoughts in 
 holiday suits, and of setting some dwarf of a phrase upon the 
 stilts of embellishment, have become universal. 
 
 We think that we were the first to give an impetus to this in- 
 ovation on the occidental side of the Atlantic. It is not so 
 ;enerally bruited as it should have been, either on the continent 
 of America, or throughout the boundaries of Europe, or in Ispa- 
 han, Jeddo, Jerusalem, or Bagdad, that WE first refined that 
 well-known adage of ' proceeding the entire swine' the indi- 
 visum porculum. That stupendous conception was our own ; 
 and to whomsoever may charge us therewith, we own the soft 
 impeachment, looking to the public to protect our bays. 
 
 Hereunto we append some fresh doings, of a similar kind. 
 Two of the saws have exotic trimmings ; the others are indige- 
 nous. We grew them : 
 
 ORIGINAL. Go to the Devil and shake yourself. 
 
 IMPROVED. Proceed to the Arch-enemy of Man and agitate 
 your person. 
 
 OR. Of one who squints. He looks two ways for Sunday. 
 
 IMP. One who, by reason of the adverse disposition of his 
 
 n*
 
 
 406 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 optics a natal defect is forced to scrutinize in duple direc- 
 tions for the Christian Sabbath. 
 
 OR. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched. 
 
 IMP. Enumerate not your adolescent pullets, ere they cease 
 to be oviform. 
 
 OR. Sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander. 
 
 IMP. The culinary adornments which suffice for the female 
 of the race Anser, may be relished also by the masculine adult 
 of the same species. 
 
 OR. Let well enough alone. 
 
 IMP. Suffer a healthful sufficiency to remain in solitude. 
 
 OR. None so deaf as them that won't hear. 
 
 IMP. No persons are obtuse in their auricular apprehension, 
 equal to those who repudiate vocal incomes by adverse inclina- 
 tion. 
 
 OR. Put a beggar on horseback, and he will ride to the devil. 
 
 IMP. Establish a mendicant on the uppermost section of a 
 charger, and he will transport himself to Apollyon. 
 
 OR. Accidents will happen in the best of families. 
 
 IMP. Disasters will eventuate even in households of the su- 
 premest integrity. 
 
 OR. A still sow drinks the most swill. 
 
 IMP. ' The taciturn female of the porcine genus imbibes the 
 richest nutriment.' 
 
 OR. The least said, the soonest mended. 
 
 IMP. The minimum of an offensive remark is cobbled with 
 the greatest promptitude. 
 
 OR. 'T is an ill wind that blows nobody good. 
 
 IMP. That gale is truly diseased, which puffeth benefactio 
 to nonentity. 
 
 OR. A stitch in time, saves nine. 
 
 IMP. The * first impression' of a needle on a rent obviateth 
 nine-fold introduction. 
 
 OR. A nod 's as good as a wink, to a horse that is n't blind. 
 
 IMP. ' An abrupt inclination of the head, is equivalent to a 
 contraction of the eye, to a steed untroubled with obliquity of 
 vision.' 
 
 OR. 'T is a a. wise child that knows its own father. 
 
 IMP. That juvenile individual is indeed sage, who possesses 
 authentic information with respect to the identity of his paternal 
 derivative. 
 OR. There's no accounting for taste. 
 
 IMP. The propensities of the palate defy jurisdiction. 
 
 OR. Two and two make four.
 
 LANGUAGE. 407 
 
 IMP. (As per Sam. J.) The number four is a certain aggre- 
 gate of units : and all numbers being the repetition of an unit 
 which, though not a number in itself, is the parent, root, or origi- 
 nal of all number four is the denomination assigned to a cer- 
 tain number of such repetitions. 
 
 OR. Three removes are as bad as a fire. 
 
 IMP. The triple transmission of a household, with chattels, 
 from one domicil to another, is as vicious as a conflagration. 
 
 Here we pause. For the nonce, our speculation has done its 
 worst. 
 

 
 408 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 FREE TRANSLATIONS. 
 
 
 'Multa absurda fingunt.' 
 
 CAMBESARIUS. 
 
 WHO has not amused himself in his classic hours, in making 
 free translations ? There is a kind of intoxication in it. The 
 Oxford student who completed a travestie of all the books in 
 Homer's Iliad, must have had a glorious time of it ; for Mel- 
 esigenes was not beyond the power of ridicule, and Socrates long 
 remembered the quizzing of Aristophanes. Some of those old 
 and choice spirits in the Spectator Johnson, Addison, and 
 their coterie with all their veneration for the blind Bard of 
 Greece, could not refrain from showing up his occasional ' sink- 
 ings in poetry.' They cite the passage where he compares a 
 warrior in the midst of a desperate contest, to a jackass surround- 
 ed in a corn-field, with peculiar pleasure, .as a scrap of pure 
 bathos. It is Shakspeare's, and of course Nature's, truth, that 
 no earthly thing, however good, is insusceptible of some gross 
 admixture ; and I think the mode in which college boys murder 
 the dead languages, (forgive the bull,) is, so far at least, a 
 complete verification of a saying quoted in substance from one 
 who, according to Ben Johnson, understood * small Latin and 
 less Greek.' 
 
 I am getting deplorably rusty in my memory of free transla- 
 tions. My brain used to be stored with them ; yet I bethink me 
 now of but one. It was made by an unhewn fellow, in his 
 freshman year ; and I have heard it quoted by my friend Lemuel 
 Turquoise, (the finest observer of the burlesque in all my clique,) 
 with an orotund fulness that would have pleased the discrimina- 
 ting and subtle ear of RUSH himself. Here it is : 
 
 Old Grimes is mortuus, that agathos old anthropos 
 
 Nunquam videbimus eum plus ; 
 Usus est to habere an old togam, 
 All ante-buttoned down!' 
 
 Verses of this kind are arbitrary in their construction, and the 
 pause or accent can rest anywhere the reader chooses to fix it. 
 At the moment I record this, many other renderings come sud- 
 denly to my mind ; but such reminiscences, though indescribably
 
 FREE TRANSLATIONS. 409 
 
 pleasing to me, have no charm for the public. I associate them 
 with the hearty, laughing faces of school companions who have 
 been swept from my side by the course of circumstances and 
 time ; some of whom are pursuing their destiny in other lands ; 
 some dead; some on the wave, in the service of their country. 
 How soon do our better hours and opportunities wane into things 
 that were ! 
 
 Among the free translators of small Latin scraps in modern 
 times, I reckon Thomas Hood to be the very best. He is him- 
 self alone. In his annual he furnishes many, and they are al- 
 ways good. They generally serve as mottos for pictures. I 
 recollect a few of these, and will set them down. One of his 
 plates represents a female cook, ' doing' some meat in a frying- 
 pan. The fat, or grease, has increased to the overflow, and the 
 whole dish is in a blaze. The brawny arms of the maid are uplift- 
 ed, and her countenance indicates the utmost perplexity and con- 
 sternation. The motto is, ' Ignis YAI-UUS /' Another sets forth 
 a mad bull, with his tail curled in air, his nostrils expanded, and 
 his whole port bewildered. He is surrounded by a crowd of 
 gaping rustics. Motto, ' De Lunatico Inquirendo /' In one of 
 these sketches, a specimen of French is given. An English cock- 
 ney is depicted riding in a private coach, on a French highway. 
 He is passing a field of oats ; and the postillion, accidentally 
 stretching out his whip in that direction, says to his horses, 
 c Vite vite !' (quick; equivalent in this case to ' Go ahead !') 
 * No,' says the cockney, thinking himself addressed, and the field 
 the subject, ' no, them ar'nt w'cat them's Aoats !' 
 
 Some odd translations have been done into French, from the 
 English. One of the Parisian authors, in rendering the passage, 
 
 'Out, brief candle, 
 Life's but a walking shadow,' etc., 
 
 from Shakspeare, gave it thus : 
 
 ' Sortez, sortez, vous courte chandelle !' 
 Namely : 
 
 ' Get out, you short candle ." 
 
 But I am persuaded that the French make fewer blunders 
 than their neighbors across the channel. A regular John Bull, 
 wishing to shut the mouth of a drunken hack-driver at Calais, 
 said to him in a pompous and menacing voice : ' Tenez votre 
 langue : vous etes en liqueur !' The equivalent English of these 
 words, rendered as they stand, is ludicrous enough.
 
 410 
 
 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Of all the free translations, however, that I ever met with, 
 commend me to a work recently published in London, from the 
 pen of one John Bellenden Ker, Esq., A. S. S., etc., entitled, 
 * An Essay on the Archaiology of Popular Phrases.' Having 
 been favored with this work by a transatlantic friend, I take the 
 liberty of presenting a few specimens of the author's stupid in- 
 genuity to the American public. He gives a large number of 
 nursery ballads and common adages ; and by the most distorted 
 construction, traces them either to the Anglo or Low Saxon. 
 The absurdity of these translations constitutes the only claim to 
 attention, preferred by this queer etymological. Nothing can be 
 more laughable than his derivations, several of which 1 proceed 
 to serve up. The first I select is the common phrase, ' Oh, the 
 pride of a cobbler's dog.' Mr. Ker refers it to the Saxon : ' Hoe 
 die prijckt op de Jcopplers doogh /' i. e. ' Oh, how this person 
 prides himself!' 'He is as poor as a church mouse.' ' Het is 
 a,l pur als hij ghierc moes:' i. e. ' He is reduced to be importu- 
 nate for victuals.' ' He does not care two straws for her.' ' Het 
 deught niet gar toe's troren vor hcer /' i. e. ' It is not worth while 
 to grieve for her !' . 
 
 I can not refrain from giving one specimen of the Nursery 
 Ballads, with Mr. Ker's original definition. 
 
 Cock-a-doodle-doo 
 Dame has lost her shoe : 
 Master's broke his fiddle-stick, 
 And don't know what to do !' 
 
 ' Gack en duijdt het t'u, 
 Di'em aes lost ter s'du ; 
 Mij aes daer's brok es vied t'el stick, 
 End doedt nauw wet tet u !' 
 
 The definition is : ' Dolt of a peasant ! your life is a hell upon 
 earth ; you are so foolish as to delight in hard work,' etc. 
 
 From the quizzical parodies which this work has excited 
 abroad, I subjoin the following. It is by the editor of the London 
 Examiner, who, after some study of Mr. Ker's glossaries, felt 
 himself aufait at his system of etymology. He gives this liberal 
 interpretation of ' God save the King.' The Saxon, if it be not 
 as pure, reads at at least as well as Ker's : 
 
 ' GOD save great George our King, 
 Long live our noble King, 
 
 God save the King ! 
 Send him victorious, 
 Long to reign over us, 
 
 God save the King !' 
 
 ; Goets aefgregte Gorgch oor Kynck ! 
 Lon glyffoor nobblekin; 
 
 Goets aef thee king ! 
 Sen dym vych toe rye oose, 
 Lonkturane o vyrues, 
 
 Goets aef cheeking !' 
 
 Definition (free!) 'Foolish is the idea of a government com- 
 pounded of a king, an hereditary peerage, and a popular repre- 
 sentative assembly ; it is foolish altogether ! Under such a state 
 of things, the taxes become insupportable, and the people are be-
 
 FREE TRANSLATIONS. 
 
 411 
 
 sotted by the priesthood, and live miserably under bad laws ; it 
 is foolish altogether !' 
 
 Not content with Europe as the arena of his researches, Mr. 
 Ker has embraced America in his derivative enterprise. Here is a 
 phrase that he has most learnedly illustrated ; one that until quite 
 lately was never heard of out of the United States. If Mr. Ker's 
 humbug were not absurd, it would be criminal. Strange to say, 
 it has many implicit believers : 
 
 1 He went the whole hog' in the sense of he went the whole length, took 
 a deep interest in, made it his own business: ' Hij wendt de hold hoogh :' 
 i. e. ' He turned the feelings of a friend to the subject in question.' 
 
 The author quotes from Mr. Clayton's speech in the United 
 States Senate in support of his etymology. 
 
 Encouraged by our writer's example, I offer one or two trans- 
 lations, a la mode Ker. I take a revolutionary saying, and one 
 verse of Yankee Doodle. I am not at liberty to mention the de- 
 rivative language, only so far as to say, that it is a mixture of 
 Mormon and Choctaw. I will merely remark, for the benefit of 
 philologists, that the parlance is not extant in the schools : 
 
 1 The times that tried men's souls :' ' Thett ymms then 1 dried mens 'oels ;' 
 i. e. ' The time when we thrashed our invaders and gained a republic.' 
 
 ' Corn-stalks twist your hair, 
 Cart-wheels go round ye ; 
 Fiery dragons carry ye off, 
 And mortar-pestle pound ye !' 
 
 4 Koern stoelks twijsdt y'er aer, 
 Kar t'oeils goer un ghe ; 
 Phy ried rag undts kar e oopgh, 
 An dmor t'arp oesril poenndjie!' 
 
 On the whole, from the evidences that I meet with daily, I am 
 persuaded that free translations are on the increase. Their utility 
 may be judged of from the foregoing specimens. That they are 
 amusing, admits of no doubt : but there are many who will reject 
 them altogether, as things that have no moral, and as possessing 
 nothing that one can go about to prove.
 
 412 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 AMERICAN PTYALISM. 
 
 ' I MTTST humbly crave leave hereinne, to be delivered of a bouldenesse, where- 
 with my pen is in travaile.' SIR HT. WOTTON'S ' RELIQUIJE.' 
 
 BIG words, now-a-days, are all the rage, and I flatter myself 
 that I have selected a pretty tall one for this article. It stands as 
 the expositor of an alarming epidemic which has long prevailed 
 in our well-beloved country ; and for which the land is cursed 
 by travelling cockneys, and cosmopolitan old women. Ptyalism, 
 gentle reader, is ' the effusion of spittle,' as is worthily illustrated 
 by that venerable lexicographer, Sam. Johnson ; the prince of 
 his tribe, and the sometime lion to that jackal, Boswell. This i& 
 my theme ; it is the evil whereupon I design to expatiate ; and 
 I can say with my motto-maker, that it is one which I have not 
 undertaken out of any wanton pleasure in mine own pen ; nor 
 truly without pondering with myself beforehand, what censures I 
 might incur ; for I know that the object against which the lance 
 of my reprobation is to be tilted, is grievously circumvested with 
 the affection of habit and the sanctity of time. I mean not to be 
 a sweeping opponent, but a commentator merely. To advocate 
 the ptyalism of this nation would be * a sin to man,' for an 
 amendment in the custom is most imperiously demanded. 
 
 Whether the corporeal juices are more abundant in the citizens 
 of the United States than in the people of other countries, it is 
 not pertinent just now to inquire. At all events, they are less 
 regarded ; for we are said to be the most notoriously salivating 
 nation on the face of the globe. But the custom is as old as 
 time. We hear of it in the first origin of our religion. It was 
 by spittle that the blind man was healed with the clay which our 
 SAVIOUR applied to his eyes ; and in many countries it has been in- 
 vested with peculiar sanctity. In Scotland, as may be learned from 
 works relating to its popular superstitions, the virtue of spittle has 
 long been held in high estimation by that proverbially neat and 
 thrifty people. Authors have thrown much light upon this sub- 
 ject. They prove that the properties of the human saliva have 
 enjoyed singular notice in both sacred and profane history. 
 Pliny devotes an entire chapter in describing its efficacy among 
 the ancient pagans, with whom it was esteemed an antidote to 
 fascination, a preservative against contagion, a counteracting
 
 AMEBWCAN PTYALISM. 413 
 
 influence upon poisons, and a source of strength in fisticuffs. 
 Some of these uses, the moderns retain. When they fight, they 
 spit in their hands ; and they indulge in the same process under 
 the humiliation of defeat. Your Irish or English servant will 
 spit on an eleemosynary shilling ; for he thinks that it blesses the 
 coin. In the country of the former, it is said to be an invariable 
 habit among the peasant girls, whenever they fling away the 
 combings of their hair. There is sometimes a dignity, or grandeur, 
 and sometimes a solemnity, in the custom. I always think well of 
 those ladies one meets in romances, when they express themselves 
 in that way. Who has not joined in the feeling of Rebecca and 
 Ivanhoe, when the lustful templar, Brian de Bois-Guilbert, in- 
 vades her in her tower, to compass her dishonor, and when she, 
 standing on the parapet, ready to spring from that lofty height 
 into the court-yard below, says to the craven knight, with a look 
 of withering contempt : ' I spit at thee ; I defy thee ! Thanks 
 to him who reared this dizzy tower so high, I fear thee not ! 
 Advance one step nearer to my person, and I will leap, to be 
 crushed out of the very form of humanity, in the depth beneath !' 
 The reader almost sees the scornful foam escaping from the 
 curled and beautiful lip of the Jewess, and is himself inclined to 
 suit his action to the thought. Our ideas of propriety are de- 
 rived, to a greater extent than we are aware of, from novels ; 
 and if their pages may be relied on, their heroines (being always 
 encompassed by scoundrels whom they have much ado to keep 
 at a proper distance) must have been spitting at their detested 
 -supernumerary lovers about half the time. Contempt is well 
 expressed by that action, and by the word. There is innate 
 disdain in the saliva itself. It leaves the haughty lip of the of- 
 fended one, and lies before the contemned person perhaps 
 upon his beard like a gage of war, as potent as the glove in 
 the days of the Crusades. In his work of ' England and the 
 English,' the author of Pelham alludes to one Westmacott, (who 
 seems a common libeller in London,) under the name of SneaTc, 
 in the following expressive phrase : ' His soul rots in his profes- 
 sion, and you spit when you hear his name !' Among the va- 
 rious and opposing inferences derivable from the custom and the 
 use of the word, one is, that saliva is inherently contemptible ; 
 and if so, is it not a noble proceeding to dispossess one's self as 
 much as possible of that which is unworthy ? Is this a non 
 sequitur ? 
 
 In one of the remote islets of Scotland, spitting into the grave 
 forms a part of the funeral ceremony. Relations and friends 
 gather round the narrow mansion of the departed, and each one
 
 414 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 ejects the salivary tribute of sorrowful remembrance. ' Happy,* 
 says the old adage, ' is the new grave that the rain rains on ; r 
 and in the island of which I speak, perhaps the saying may be, 
 Beloved is the dust that we spit upon.' Anciently, the subject 
 of Optics was illustrated only by those who possessed ample 
 knowledge in relation to the qualities of saliva. The popular 
 oculist was one who saw, 
 
 l or fancied, in his dreaming mood, 
 
 All the diseases that the spittles know.' 
 
 Even modern opticians, in their discussions upon the eye, have 
 recommended a research of the old schoolmen's tomes, that it 
 may be decided whether any ' solvent, sanative, or medicament,' 
 connected with saliva, and lost to the oculists of the present day, 
 was not in vogue of yore. But I do not wish to discuss the 
 virtue of that which I esteem the parent of a vice. 
 
 I look upon TOBACCO, in all its shapes and varieties, as the 
 prime cause of the very extensive ptyalism which prevails in 
 this nation. It is passing strange that this article ever came to 
 be beloved. It is wonderful, that a weed which is in itself, in 
 its original state, acrid and disagreeable, and which contains 
 poison as deadly as the sting of a scorpion, should have pushed 
 its way into use, until it has become a matter of traffic in all 
 quarters of the world. 1 can hardly imagine how it ever spread 
 its magic beyond the wigwam of the Indian, or came to mingle 
 its fumes with anything but the council-smokes of the aborigines, 
 in the pathless forests of the west. It has encountered and 
 conquered every obstacle ; the book which James I. fulminated 
 against it; the opposition of Papal bulls, of Transylvanian edicts, 
 of Persian anathemas ; and by the aid of Nicot, with Catharine 
 de Medicis, (who may perhaps have ' chawed, 1 ) and the great 
 crowd of amateurs who continue to patronize it, the whole eastern 
 continent glories in its use, and is loud in its praise. Since the 
 Haytien began to draw its blue wreaths through his derivative 
 pipe, as he watched the distant sea, dancing to the balmy winds 
 from the palm-groves of his native land, the world has bowed to 
 the Nicotian weed. From Iceland to the tropics, and from 
 Jerusalem to the Pacific, it is in request. Protean in its forms, 
 it intoxicates in pigtail, twist, or plug ; in cigar or snuff. In the 
 latter substance, how many a lofty nostril has it pleased, how 
 many old women and great men has it delighted ! It was the last 
 comfort of Napoleon, when he cried ' Sauve quipeut? at Water- 
 loo, and rode through bloody battalions of the wounded and 
 dying, away from the victorious legions of Wellington. When
 
 AMERICAN PTYALISM. 416 
 
 an old Irish vixen in a London police-office was charged by her 
 husband, to whom she had been rebellious, in a row, with taking 
 two ounces of snuff per diem, what was her answer? 'Lawful 
 powers, yer Warship ! What is two ounces of blissid snuff, to a 
 poor onfortinit woman, as gives suck to two childer?' It was an 
 appeal that went home at once to the proboscis of the magistrate, 
 and the woman was discharged. 
 
 Much as tobacco has been lauded, snuff has perhaps received 
 a greater share of eulogy. Even the organ to whose pleasure 
 it ministers has been addressed, among many others, by the 
 facetious author of ' Absurdities,' as the source of his supremest 
 rapture. Hear him : 
 
 KNOWS he that never took a pinch, 
 Nosey, the pleasure thence which flows ? 
 Knows he the titillating joy 
 Which my nose knows ? 
 Oh, Nose ! I am as proud of thee, 
 As any mountain of its snows: 
 I gaze on thee, and feel the joy 
 A Roman knows ." 
 
 But this is an episode, since snuff is not directly consociated 
 with ' the effusion of spittle.' Tobacco is. Who chews, and 
 smokes, and salivates not? Who ever attended a church, a 
 theatre, a political meeting, or any assembly, legislatures even, 
 and did not see the effects of tobacco ! Who has not witnessed 
 them at parties, at balls anywhere, and everywhere? How 
 many divines and statesmen have I known, the misanthropic 
 corners of whose lips exhibited the stained and pursed-up 
 wrinkles of tobacco ! Your student and your ' blood,' (ruminating 
 bipeds, who smoke or chew,) expectorate themselves away, and 
 look like old men long before they are forty. 
 
 Yet it is the abuse, rather than the use, of tobacco, of which I 
 complain. Under the rose, I have some respect myself for a 
 cigar ; and I do not object to some kinds of scented snuff. It 
 is pleasant to smell the airy whiffs, circling around one's contem- 
 plative nose, and to enjoy the excitement of a sneeze. But 
 moderation should guide us in these matters ; for ptyalism is so 
 much of a habit, that in my opinion it might be abated two thirds, 
 in every one of our countrymen ; and I think that many valuable 
 lives would thus be lengthened. 
 
 With regard to expectoration, I would say, that when 'tis 
 done, it would be well if it were done secretly. I am no advo- 
 cate of the English custom of salivating into the handkerchief, 
 and carrying in a pocket the harvest of one's palatic department.
 
 X A 
 
 f * 
 
 416 PROSE MISCELLANIES. 
 
 Neither do I think that we should care a tobacco-stopper what 
 foreign zantippes or scribblers think of the custom, only so far 
 as their strictures may seem to be just. In truth, after the false- 
 hoods with which the European public has been deluged re- 
 specting our manners, the mere sight of an English tourist, male 
 or female, in this country, is enough to make an American citizen 
 spit from sheer disgust. We mean those tourists who grumble 
 when they land ; grumble their six weeks' transit through the 
 republic, and then grumble themselves into a packet-cabin, and 
 go home to make a grumbling book. It is not surprising that 
 folk like these have seen a good deal of ptyalism. Every such 
 raven of passage is a walking ptysmagogue, and excites the very 
 discharges that are so vehemently condemned. 
 
 There is a juste milieu in this habit, which, as a nation, we 
 have not hit as yet ; though we are much nearer to it than the 
 spittle-pocketing kingdom which has furnished us with so many 
 peripatetic philosophers on the subject. Let a general effort be 
 made to touch this happy medium. To use a pun of some lon- 
 gevity, we must expectorate less, before we can expect to rate as 
 a polished nation. I appeal to all frequenters of public places, 
 whether my advice be not good. Let it be followed. Let it be 
 henceforth declared no more, as it has been, that ' an American 
 spits from his cradle to his grave ; at the board of his friend, at 
 the feet of his mistress, at the drawing-room of his president, at 
 the altar of his God : he salivates for three score years and ten ; 
 and when the glands of his palate can secrete no longer, he spits 
 forth his spirit, and is gathered to his fathers, to spit no more.' 
 
 JOHN W. SANGRADO, M. D. 
 
 Communipaw, November 22, 1834. 
 
 * 
 
 END OF PROSE MISCELLANIES.
 
 tf 
 
 .-> v 
 
 THE 
 ^ 
 
 k 
 
 
 SPIRIT OF LIFE; 
 
 A POEM, 
 
 . PRONOUNCED BEFORE THE FHANKLIN SOCIETY 
 
 
 BROWN UNIVERSITY, 
 
 SEPTEMBER 3, 1833. 
 
 
 
 BY WILLIS GAYLORD CLARK. 
 
 " Je crois que le monde est gouvemfi par une volontS poissante et sage ; mais ce 
 
 mime monde est-il eternel ou ci 1 Y a-t-il un principe unique des choses t" 
 
 ROUSSEAU, Emile, liv. iv.
 
 
 
 . 
 
 .v*
 
 DEDICATION 
 
 TO EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, ESQUIRE, M.P. 
 
 AUTHOR OF 'PfcLHAM,' ' DEVEREUX,' EuGENE ARAM,' ETC. 
 
 MY DEAR FRIEND : 
 
 I DEDICATE these pages to one whose animated expressions of regard 
 have long cheered, and whose kind praises have often inspired me ; to 
 one, whose genius is acknowledged with ardor among all the intelligent 
 classes of the American republic ; whose impressive writings are familiar 
 to the general reader, from Madawasca to the Mississippi, and from On- 
 tario to Florida; to one whose political liberality is admired by every well- 
 read freeman in the Union, and whose influence as an author (popular in 
 the full sense of the word), is undeniably stronger and more diffusive 
 among the people of America, than that of almost any modern mind. I 
 inscribe to you this little work, with a hearty wish that it were worthier of 
 your acceptance. You can see the excuses with which it is put forth to 
 the public ; but I am sure that your friendship will appreciate my motive 
 Sufficiently to pardon, in its expression, both the manner and the medium. 
 
 That you may long continue to depict, with your own peculiar power, 
 the deformity and misery of Vice, and the peaceful loveliness of Virtue, 
 by clothing in attractive fiction the severe truths of life ; and that your 
 love of free American principles may continue to afford you the political 
 influence which, as a member of the British Parliament, you now wield 
 in 'a body of the first gentlemen in Europe,' is the sincere desire of 
 
 Yours, most truly, 
 
 W. GAYLORD CLARK. 
 Philadelphia, October, 1833.
 
 CORRESPONDENCE. 
 
 Brown University, September 3, 1833. 
 DEAR SIR: 
 
 THE Franklin Society of this Institution, through the undersigned, as 
 their committee, present you their unfeigned thanks for the excellent Poem 
 with which you have this day favored them, and hereby solicit a copy of 
 
 the same for publication. 
 
 Yours, very respectfully, 
 
 E. P. DYER 
 
 F. W. FICKLING. 
 To WILLIS GATLORP CLARK, Esq. 
 
 Philadelphia, September 18, 1833. 
 GENTLEMEN : 
 
 IN answer to your official letter of the 3d instant, on behalf of the Frank- 
 lin Society of Brown University, I beg leave to observe, that while I re- 
 ceive with unaffected respect and pride the kind opinions of the associa- 
 tion which you represent, and comply with the request for a copy of the 
 poem delivered before that body, I feel bound to extenuate the defects 
 which are, in all likelihood, contained in the production. The majority 
 of it is the effort of a few languid summer evenings, stolen from relaxation 
 and society, after a performance of the onerous duties appertaining to the 
 editorship of a daily gazette ; and the closing portions were completed 
 after my arrival in Providence, not many hours previous to their delivery. 
 I do not mention these circumstances to excuse those blemishes in the 
 poem which I am well aware it may probably contain ; and to apologize 
 for which, I have not enough of that amabilis insania, so finely satirized in 
 the Horatian line. The subject was chosen because it was wide, and ad- 
 mitted of readier treatment than one less general and expansive. 
 
 With this brief prologue, therefore, I submit the affair to the society, 
 ' for better or for worse ;' and remain, 
 
 Gentlemen, with high consideration, 
 Your obedient servant, 
 
 W. GATLORD CLARK. 
 To E. P. DTER and F. W. FicitLme, Esqs.
 
 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 
 
 THERE is a Spirit, whose reviving power 
 
 Dwells through the changes of each earthly hour : 
 
 Where the sere blooms of man's decline are shed, 
 
 And sterile snows the brow of age o'erspread ; 
 
 Or while each impulse of the heart is young, 
 
 And the light laugh falls sweet from childhood's tongue; 
 
 There lurks that moving spirit, bound to all 
 
 O'er which nor chance nor time can fling a thrall ; 
 
 Through lengthened years its force unbroken moves, 
 
 Guiding the hopes of earth, the cares, the loves ; 
 
 Where'er the land outspreads, or sunshine lies, 
 
 Pour'd on old ocean from the boundless skies ; 
 
 In calm or storm, in light or shade it springs, 
 
 And broods o'er nature with perpetual wings. 
 
 Its name is Life and glorious is its sway, 
 Which seas, and worlds on worlds, and stars obey ; 
 Born from the exhaustless might of GOD alone, 
 The extended universe is but his throne ; 
 In liberal measure, through the waste of years, 
 Its quenchless power, or principle, appears ; 
 Fadeless and unrepress'd its lustres move, 
 Won from the fountains of Eternal Love ! 
 
 Mysterious Life ! how wide is thy domain ! 
 In nature's scope how absolute thy reign ! 
 In moving force thy kindling gleams appear, 
 When dewy blooms bedeck the opening year ; 
 When, robed in laughing guise, the Spring comes on, 
 And waves her odorous garlands in the sun : 
 When the soft air comes balmy from the West, 
 And tenderest verdure cheers the meadow's breast :
 
 422 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 
 
 How teem the gifts of life at such an hour 
 How sighs the zephyr how expands the flow'r! 
 High from the forest's nodding tops arise 
 Rich clouds of hidden fragrance through the skies 
 Their viewless wings the abyss of ether fan, 
 While dreams, exalting, fire the breast of man. 
 Awakening life in every thought prevails; 
 He draws rapt inspiration from the gales : 
 To the charm'd eye above, the golden sun 
 Doth his perpetual journeys brightly run ; 
 Around his course, in solemn pomp, repose 
 Gay clouds that drink his glory as he goes ; 
 He bathes the desert waste, the city's fanes ; 
 He pours clear radiance on the hills and plains ; 
 Till restless life, still travelling with his rays, 
 O'er earth and heaven, in trembling lustre plays. 
 
 Who, when the summer laughs in light around, 
 But feels that spirit's glowing power abound ? 
 Warmed from the south, the gladsome hours are shed, 
 Lending new verdure to each mountain -head ; 
 Luxuriant blessings crown the pleasant scene, 
 And the broad landscape glows in sunny green ; 
 While leaves and birds and streams their songs attune, 
 And, steep'd in music, smiles the rose of June ; 
 Making the freighted bliss it scatters there, 
 Seem like the breathings of ambrosial ah* ; 
 While, o'er the tall old hills and vales between, 
 In peerless glory, swells the blue serene : 
 Unbounded skies! where life triumphant dwells, 
 And light resistless from its fountain wells ; 
 Where beauty unapproach'd alone sublime, 
 Mocks at the restless change of earth and tune ; 
 And clothed in radiance from the Eternal's throne, 
 Bends its unpillared arch from zone to zone ! 
 
 Who that hath stood, where summer brightly lay 
 On some broad city, by a spreading bay, 
 And from a rural height the scene survey'd, 
 While on the distant strand the billows play'd,
 
 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 423 
 
 But felt the vital spirit of the scene, 
 
 What time the south wind stray'd through foliage green, 
 
 And freshened from the dancing waves, went on, 
 
 By the gay groves, and fields, and gardens won ? 
 
 Oh, who that listens to the inspiring sound 
 
 Which the wide Ocean wakes against his bound, 
 
 While, like some fading hope, the distant sail 
 
 Flits o'er the dim blue waters, in the gale ; 
 
 When the tired sea-bird dips his wings in foam, 
 
 And hies him to his beetling eyry home ; 
 
 When sun-gilt ships are parting from the strand, 
 
 And guttering steamers by the breeze are fanned ; 
 
 When the wide city's domes and piles aspire, 
 
 And rivers broad seemed touch'd with golden fire 
 
 Save where some gliding boat their lustre breaks, 
 
 And volumed smoke its murky tower forsakes, 
 
 And surging in dark masses, soars to lie, 
 
 And stain the glory of the uplifted sky ;' 
 
 Oh, who at such a scene unmoved hath stood, 
 
 And gazed on town, and plain, and field, and flood, 
 
 Nor felt that life's keen spirit lingered there, 
 
 Through earth, and ocean, and the genial air? 
 
 1 Change is the life of Nature ;' and the hour 
 When storm and blight reveal lone autumn's pow'r; 
 When damask leaves to swollen streams are cast, 
 Borne on the funeral anthems of the bkst; 
 When smit with pestilence the woodlands seem, 
 Yet gorgeous as a Persian poet's dream ; 
 That hour the seeds of life within it bears, 
 Though fraught with perished blooms and sobbing airs; 
 Though solemn companies of clouds may rest 
 Along the uncheer'd and melancholy west; 
 Though there no more the enthusiast may behold 
 Effulgent troops, arrayed in purple and gold ; 
 Or mark the quivering lines of light aspire, 
 Where crimson shapes are bathed in living fire 
 Though Nature's withered breast no more be fair, 
 Nor happy voices fluctuate in the air ;
 
 424 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 
 
 Yet is there life in Autumn's sad domains 
 
 Life, strong and quenchless, through his kingdom reigns. 
 
 To kindred dust the leaves and flowers return, 
 
 Yet briefly sleep in winter's icy urn ; 
 
 Though o'er their graves, in blended wreaths, repose 
 
 Dun wastes of dreary and untrodden snows, 
 
 Though the aspiring hills, rise cold and pale 
 
 To breast the murmurs of the northern gale, 
 
 Yet, when the jocund spring again comes on, 
 
 Their trance is broken, and their slumber done ; 
 
 Awakening Nature re-asserts her reign, 
 
 And her kind bosom throbs with life again ! 
 
 1 'T is thus with man. He cometh, like the flow'r, 
 To feel the changes of each earthly hour ; 
 To enjoy the sunshine, or endure the shade, 
 By hopes deluded, or by reason sway'd ; 
 Yet haply, if to Virtue's path he turn, 
 And feel her hallowed fires within him burn, 
 He passeth calmly from that sunny morn, 
 Where all the buds of youth are newly born,' 
 Through varying intervals of onward years, 
 Until the eve of his decline appears : 
 And while the shadows round his path descend, 
 As down the vale of age his footsteps tend, 
 Peace o'er his bosom sheds her soft control, 
 And throngs of gentlest memories charm the soul ; 
 Then, weaned from earth, he turns his steadfast eye 
 Beyond the grave, whose verge he falters nigh, 
 Surveys the brightening regions of the blest, 
 And, like a wearied pilgrim, sinks to rest. 
 
 The just man dies not, though within the tomb 
 His wasting form be laid, mid tears and gloom: 
 Though many a heart beats sadly when repose 
 His silvery locks in earth, like buried snows ; 
 Yet love, and hope, and faith, with heavenward trust, 
 Tell that his spirit sinks not in the dust : 
 Above, entranced and glorious, it hath soared, 
 Where all its primal freshness is restored;
 
 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 425 
 
 And from all sin released, and doubt, and pain, 
 Renews the morning of its youth again. 
 
 Yes ! while the mourner stands beside the bier, 
 O'er a lost friend to shed the frequent tear 
 To pour the tender and regretful sigh, 
 And feel the heart-pulse fill the languid eye 
 Even at that hour the thoughtful wo is vain, 
 Since change, not death, invokes affection's pain. 
 Naught but a tranquil slumberer resteth there, 
 Whose spirit's plumes have swept the upper air, 
 And caught the radiance borne from heaven along, 
 Fraught with rich incense and immortal song; 
 And passed the glittering gates which angels keep: 
 Oh, wherefore for the just should mourners weep ? 
 
 And why should grief be moved for those who die, 
 When life is opening to the youthful eye; 
 When freshening love springs buoyant in the breast, 
 And hope's gay wings are fluttering undepress'd : 
 While like the morning dews that gem the nose, 
 In the pure soul, the dreams of joy repose ; 
 When on the land and wave a light is thrown, 
 Which to the morn of life alone is known ; 
 When every scene brings gladness to the view, 
 And every rapture of the heart is new ; 
 Oh, who shall mourn that then the silver cord 
 Is loosed, and to its home the soul restored ? 
 Oh who should weep that thus, at such an hour, 
 Celestial light should burst upon the flower 
 The human flower, that but began to glow 
 And brighten in this changeful world below ; 
 Then, still unstained, was borne, to bloom on high, 
 And drink the lustre of a fadeless sky ? 
 
 No ! let the mother, when her infant's breath 
 Faints on her bosom, in the trance of death ; 
 Then let her yearning heart obey the call 
 Of that high GOD who loves and cares for all ;
 
 42C THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 
 
 Resign the untainted blossom to that shore 
 Where sicknesses and blight have power no more ; 
 Where poisonous mildew comes not from the air, 
 To check the undying blooms and verdure there ; 
 But where the gifts of life profuse are shed, 
 And funeral waitings rise not o'er the dead : 
 Where cherub-throngs in joy triumphant move, 
 And Faith lies slumbering on the breast of Love. 
 
 Change wears the name of death, the heart to bow, 
 And bid its rising shadows cloud the brow ; 
 To teach the wandering soul, with truth severe, 
 That man hath no continual city here; 
 That all his hopes, unfixed on God and heaven, 
 Like pure aroma to the whirlwinds given, 
 Are raptures, wasted from a precious store, 
 They leave the bosom to return no more. 
 
 Could man's impressive reason bear the sway, 
 And guide his footsteps through life's little day; 
 Could every pulse that riots but to stain 
 His soul, move calmly in reflection's reign; 
 Could gentle Conscience whisper peace within, 
 And from his spirit sweep the darling sin; 
 Between his birth-hour and his final rest, 
 What high philosophy would fire his breast ? 
 Time's glittering charms would then no more delude, 
 Its phantom train would all be unpursued ; 
 No scars of sorrow's war the cheek would wear, 
 Ploughed by corroding thoughts too deeply there; 
 No gusts of passion would the brow deform, 
 Or lash the kindling bosom into storm; 
 But each pure wish, inspired, to heaven would soar, 
 And earth's dull fevers burn the heart no more. 
 
 And since the changes which in time are rife, 
 No real death contain, but teem with life ; 
 Since blooming nature from decay can spring 
 With buds, and happy birds upon the wing;
 
 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 427 
 
 Since year to year succeeds, and all renew 
 
 The scenes that glow'd to childhood's wondering view, 
 
 Since lavish beauty riseth from the dust, 
 
 Shall man's cold heart withdraw from heaven its trust? 
 
 No ! while the unblemished sun careers on high, 
 
 And gilds, with glorious smile, the earth and sky ; 
 
 While tides, mysteriously-obedient, roll 
 
 From orient Indus to the frozen pole ; 
 
 While chaste and free above, serenely bright, 
 
 The moon sails onward through a sea of light ; 
 
 While verdant leaves in summer's air can play, 
 
 Or torrents thunder midst their rainbow spray : 
 
 Long as the unnumbered stars can flash and burn, 
 
 Of journeying winds upon their circuits turn ; 
 
 There shall the exhaustless life of GOD be found, 
 
 And His kind love diffuse its gifts around. 
 
 Man to his rest may fall but who should mourn, 
 Or plant the cypress by the marble urn ? 
 In dust his wan, cold ashes may remain, 
 But no dark shade of death the soul can stain ; 
 Beyond destruction's power 'tis formed to rise, 
 And bide the judgment-audit in the skies. 
 Then who the dirge would breathe, or pour the tear, 
 Since life is strong, and death is feeble here 1 
 Gorged by the past, in dreamless slumber laid, 
 Rest the fond lover and the rosy maid ; 
 Friends, parents, brothers, sisters, linger there, 
 Shut from the sunshine and the blessed air; 
 But change alone hath touched each earthly form, 
 Each faded banquet of the noisome worm : 
 Death o'er the ransomed spirit hath no pow'r 
 It waits the final and triumphant hour, 
 When sundering cerements shall then- prey release, 
 Renewed and radiant, to the Realms of Peace. 
 
 All-quenchless Life ! bright effluence from GOD ! 
 Whose impulse fills the universe abroad ! 
 From thee the restless heart its movement draws 
 In thee, revolving seasons find then* laws ;
 
 428 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 
 
 Thine is the pulse that heaves the ocean wave, 
 
 Or bids the evening sunlight gild the grave ; 
 
 That paints the gorgeous skies at night or morn, 
 
 When dawn is blushing, or when stars are born ; 
 
 Which drives the unquiet storm along its way, 
 
 When broken ships are whelm'd in surge and spray ;. 
 
 While inland hills are echoing wildly-loud, 
 
 As the mad thunders roll from cloud to cloud ; 
 
 When giant trees, with arms uplifted high, 
 
 Creak, as the sheeted lightnings hurtle by; 
 
 While lengthened swells chastise the groaning strand, 
 
 And bid their deep-toned murmurs thrill the land ! 
 
 Life, unsubdued, through all the world prevails ; 
 Howls on the midnight waters, or in vales 
 Where gentlest Summer spreads her waving grain, 
 Smiles o'er the golden harvest, on the plain; 
 Bathes, through the tranquil eve, the lake and stream, 
 In silvery lustre, an unbroken gleam ; 
 Bids the rich sunset all its splendors form, 
 And braids the rainbow on the passing storm : 
 These are the gifts of Life sublime and high 
 They teach the soul its immortality ! 
 
 Then let obedient man the lesson heed 
 Let his observant eye its precepts read ; 
 On earth, and ocean, and in heaven above, 
 Writ with the principle of life and love ; 
 So, when the mockeries of this world shall cease,. 
 His spotless soul may don the robes of peace : 
 Its tireless pinions shall in rapture wave, 
 Far through the bended skies, above the grave ; 
 Where no sad care the soaring thought can bind, 
 Or vex the holy and eternal mind. 
 
 There, through unclouded leagues of fragrant air, 
 The walls of Heaven dispense their glories rare ; 
 Prismatic shafts of sparkling light arise, 
 Pure as the thoughts that beam from angels' eyes; 
 
 ,o.di nl
 
 THE SPIRIT OF LIFE. 429 
 
 There, glittering gates of massy pearl unfold, 
 
 And restless lustre streams from streets of gold ; 
 
 There Life's immortal river flows abroad, 
 
 To cheer the city of the living GOD ; 
 
 And where its liquid lapse extends serene, 
 
 By dewy pastures of undying green ; 
 
 There, rich with healing leaves and fruits that glow, 
 
 The trees of life their generous wealth bestow ; 
 
 There, gentle harpers cheer the shadeless day, 
 
 And balm and song are pour'd from every spray. 
 
 There, too, when nature's requiem-trump shall sound, 
 Will all the pure of earth again be found ; 
 Long-sundered friends, on that unblighted shore, 
 Will meet, to sorrow and to part no more ; 
 But, calm'd and blessed, in reverential love, 
 Through joyous bowers, and fields undimmed, will move, 
 A deathless King to praise divine and just, 
 Beneath whose feet the burning stars are dust.
 
 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS.
 
 SEVERAL of the briefer miscellaneous poems of the author of ' The Spint of Life' 
 were bound up in the volume which contained that production, and will generally be 
 deemed, it is believed, quite its superior. They were accompanied in the original col- 
 lection by the annexed explanatory words of the writer : ' In addition to the preced- 
 ing poem, the author takes the liberty of subjoining a few miscellaneous ' fugitives 
 from justice.' Many of them have already been brought to trial before the public, by 
 some of the high editorial judges of the country, and have escaped the ordeal with an 
 aggregate of commendation, which must be attributed more to the kindness of the 
 triers than to the merits of the tried. The pieces annexed are mostly taken from 
 among a collection in part the product of leisure hours at school and variously 
 published, in the United States Literary Gazette, BUCKINGHAM'S Magazine, the Lon- 
 don Review, British Magazine, the Court Magazine, BULWER'S New Monthly Maga- 
 zine, and other journals of the British metropolis. After the close of BRYANT'S 
 enterprise in the United States Literary Gazette, there was not for some years a 
 Magazine of any note in the country. It was during that time, and from that cause, 
 that many of the following poems were sent to literary friends abroad, and published in 
 their respective periodicals.' Several well-known effusions of the author, as has already 
 been stated, and as will have been seen indeed, appeared in his ' Ollapodiana' papers, 
 in which connection they may be found by the reader of these pages.
 
 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 LAST PRAYER OF MARY, QUEEN 0F SCOTS. 
 
 O Domine DEUS ! speravi in te ; 
 O care mi JESU, nunc libera me ; 
 In dura catena, in misera pcena, 
 
 Desidero te ; 
 
 Languendo, gemendo, et genuflectendo, 
 Adoro, imploro, ut liberes me. !* 
 
 IT was the holy twilight hour, and clouds in crimson pride 
 Sailed through the golden firmament, in the calm evening-tide ; 
 The peasant's cheerful song was hushed by every hill and glen, 
 The city's voice stole faintly out, and died the bum of men : 
 And as night's sombre shades came down o'er day's resplendent eye, 
 A faded face, from a prison cell, gazed out upon the sky; 
 For to that face the glad bright sun of earth for aye had set, 
 And the last time had come to mark eve's starry coronet! 
 
 Oh, who can paint the bitter thoughts that o'er her spirit stole, 
 
 As her pale lips gave utterance to feeling's deep, control ; 
 
 While, shadowed from life's vista back, thronged mid her falling tears 
 
 The fantasies of early hope, dreams of departed years : 
 
 When pleasure's light was sprinkled, and silyer voices flung 
 
 Their rich and echoing cadences her virgin hours among; 
 
 When there came no shadow on ier brow, no tear to dim her eye, 
 
 When there frown'd no cloud of sorrow in her being's, festal sky. 
 
 Perchance at that lone hour the thought of early visions came, 
 
 Of the trance that touched her lip with song, at love's mysterious flnnie ; 
 
 * THESE lines, so melodious in the original, and susceptible of equally melodious transla- 
 tion, were written by the unfortunate MART a short time before her melancholy execution. 
 
 28
 
 434 ' MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 When she listened to the low-breathed tones of him the idol One, 
 Who shone in her imagining, firtt ray of pleasure's sun : 
 Perchance the walk in evening hours the impassioned kiss or vow, 
 The warm tear on the kindling cheek, the smile upon the brow: 
 But they came like flowers that wither, and the light of all had fled, 
 As a hue from April's pinion, o'er earth's budding bosom shed. 
 
 And thus, as star came after star, into the boundless heaven, 
 Were her deep thoughts, and eloquent, in pensive numbers given : 
 They were the offerings of a heart, where grief had long held sway; 
 And now the night, the hour had come, to give her feelings way: 
 It was the last dim night of life ; the sun had sunk to rest, 
 And the blue twilight haze had crept on the far mountain's breast; 
 And thus, as in her saddened heart the tide of love grew strong, 
 Pour'd her meek, quiet spirit forth, this flood of mournful song : 
 
 The shades of evening gather now, o'er the mysterious earth, 
 The viewless winds are whispering, in wild, capricious mirth; 
 The gentle moon hath come to shed a flood of glory round, 
 That, through this soft and still repose, sleeps richly on the ground : 
 And in the free, sweet gales that sweep along my prison bar, 
 Seem borne the pure, deep harmonies of every kindling star: 
 I see the blue 'streams glancing in the mild and chastened light, 
 
 And the gem-lit, fleecy clouds, that steal along the brow of night. 
 ! }"iitv: ." . ; - ': : /J -..;.;( ' 
 
 Oh must I leave existence now, while life should be like spring 
 While Joy should cheer my pilgrimage, with sunbeams from his wing ? 
 Are the songs of hope for ever flown the syren voice which flung 
 The chant of youth's warm happiness from the beguiler's tongue ? 
 Shall I drink no more the melody of babbling stream or bird, 
 Or the scented gales of summer, as the leaves of June are stirr'd ? 
 Shall the pulse of love wax fainter, and the spirit shrink from death, 
 As the bud-like thoughts that lit my heart fade in its chilling breath ? 
 
 4 1 have passed the dreams of childhood, and my loves and hopes are gone, 
 And I turn to Thee, REDEEMER ! oh, thou blest and Holy One ! 
 Though the rose of health has vanished though the mandate hath 
 
 been spoken, 
 And one by one the golden links of life's fond chain are broken,
 
 LAST PRAYER OF MARY, QUEEN OF SCOT*. 435 
 
 Yet can my spirit turn to THKE, thou chastener ! and can bend 
 In humble suppliance at thy throne, my father and my friend ! 
 Thou, who hast crowned my youth with hope, my early days in glee, 
 Give me the eagle's fearless wing the dove's, to mount to THEE! 
 
 .' ; itf- ; -rv" s >. '<"/ flT'/OVv 7. 
 * I lose my foolish hold on life, its passions and its tears : 
 How brief the yearning extacies of its young, careless years ! 
 I give my heart to earth no more, the grave may clasp me now; 
 The winds whose tone I loved, may play in the dark cypress bough : 
 The birds, the streams are eloquent ; yet I shall pass away, 
 And in the light of heaven shake off this cumbrous load of clay ; 
 I shall join the lost, the loved of earth, and meet each kindred breast, 
 "Where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest.'
 
 436 ' MISCELLANEOUS POEMS 
 
 A CONTRASTED PICTURE. 
 
 IT was the morning of a day in spring 
 The sun looked gladness from the eastern sky ; 
 Birds were upon the trees and on the wing, 
 And all the ah* was rich with melody ; 
 The heaven, the calm, pure heaven, was bright on high; 
 Earth laugh'd beneath in all its fresh'ning green, 
 The free blue streams sang as they wandered by, 
 And many a sunny glade and flowery scene 
 Gleam'd out, like thoughts of youth, life's troubled years between. 
 
 The rose's breath upon the south wind came, 
 Oft as its whisperings the young branches stirr'd, 
 And flowers for which the poet hath no name ; 
 While, midst the blossoms of the grove, were heard 
 The restless murmurs of the humming-bird : 
 Waters were dancing in the mellow light ; 
 And joyous notes and. many a cheerful word 
 Stole on the charmed ear with such delight 
 As waits on soft sweet tones of music heard at night. 
 
 The night-dews lay in the half open'd flower, 
 Like hopes that nestle in the youthful breast ; 
 And ruffled by the light airs of the hour, 
 Awoke the pure lake from its glassy rest: 
 Slow blending with the blue and distant west, 
 Lay the dim woodlands, and the quiet gleam 
 Of amber clouds, like islands of the blest ; 
 Glorious and bright, and changing like a dream, 
 And lessening fast away beneath the intenser beam. 
 
 Songs were amid the mountains far and wide, 
 Songs were upon the green slopes blooming nigh : 
 While, from the springing flowers on every side,
 
 A CONTRASTED PICTURE. 
 
 Upon his painted wings the butterfly 
 Roamed a sweet blossom of the sunny sky ; 
 The visible smile of joy was on the scene ; 
 'Twas a bright vision, but too soon to die ! 
 Spring may not linger in her robes of green 
 Autumn, in storm and shade, shall quench the summer sheen. 
 
 I came again. 'Twas Autumn's stormy hour : 
 The wild winds murmured in the faded wood ; 
 The sere leaves, rustling in the yellow bower, 
 Were hurled in eddies to the moaning flood : 
 Dark clouds enthrall'd the west ; an orb of blood, 
 The red sun pierced the hazy atmosphere; 
 While torrent voices broke the solitude, 
 Where, straying lonely, as with steps of fear, 
 I mark'd the deepening gloom which shrouds the dying year. 
 
 The ruffled lake heav'd wildly; near the shore 
 It bore the red leaves of the shaken tree 
 Shed in the violent north wind's restless roar, 
 Emblems of man upon life's stormy sea ! 
 Pale autumn leaves ! once to the breezes free 
 They waved in Spring and Summer's golden prime, 
 Now, even as clouds or dew, how fast they flee ! 
 Weak, changing like the flowers in Autumn's clime, 
 .B man sinks down in, death, chill'd by the touch of time ! 
 
 I marked the picture : 'twas the changeful scene 
 Which life holds up to the observant eye : 
 Youth's spring, and summer, and its bowers of green, 
 The streaming sunlight of its morning sky, 
 And the dark clouds of death which linger by: 
 For oft, when life is fresh and hope is strong, 
 Shall early sorrow breathe the unbidden sigh, 
 While age to death moves peacefully along, 
 As on the singer's lip expires the finished song.
 
 438 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 AN INVITATION. 
 
 "They that seek me early shall find me." 
 
 - 
 
 COME while the blossoms of thy years are brightest, 
 
 Thou youthful wanderer in a flowery maze ; 
 Come, while the restless heart is bounding lightest, 
 
 And joy's pure sunbeams tremble in thy ways: 
 Come, while sweet thoughts, like summer buds unfolding, 
 
 Waken rich feelings in the careless breast ; 
 While yet thy hand the ephemeral wreath is holding 
 
 Come, and secure interminable rest. 
 
 Soon will the freshness of thy days be over, 
 
 And thy free buoyancy of soul be flown; 
 Pleasure will fold her wing, and friend and lover 
 
 Will to the embraces of the worm have gone : 
 Those who now love thee will have pass'd forever 
 
 Their looks of kindness will be lost to thee : 
 Thou wilt need balm to heal thy spirit's fever, 
 
 As thy sick heart broods over years to be. 
 
 Come while the morning of thy life is glowing, 
 
 Ere the dim phantoms thou art chasing die ; 
 Ere the gay spell which earth is round thee throwing, 
 
 Fade like the sunset of a summer sky ; 
 Life hath but shadows, save a promise given, 
 
 Which lights the future with a fadeless ray: 
 Oh, touch the sceptre win a hope in heaven 
 
 Come turn thy spirit from the world away. 
 
 Then will the crosses of this brief existence, 
 
 Seem airy nothings to thine ardent soul : 
 And shining brightly in the forward distance, 
 
 Will of thy patient race appear the goal : 
 Home of the weary ! where in peace reposing, 
 
 The spirit lingers in unclouded bliss, 
 Though o'er its dust the curtained grave is closing 
 
 Who would not early choose a lot like this ?
 
 A LAMENT. 439 
 
 A LAMENT. 
 
 : :>R( ' : i':ni''i !': <ifc .MO ) .'.nj 
 
 THEY Bin, who tell us love can die ; 
 
 With life all other passions fly, 
 
 All others are but vanity: 
 
 But love is indestructible : 
 
 Its holy flame for ever burneth ; 
 
 From heaven it came to heaven returneth ; 
 
 Too oft on earth a troubled guest, 
 
 At times deceived, at times oppress'd 
 
 It here is tried, and purified. 
 
 And hath in heaven its perfect rest. 
 
 SOUTHIT. 
 
 ,iijij:vr i '-f jfinmb v/n 110 i*iJ 
 THERE is a voice I shall hear no more : 
 There are tones whose music for me is o'er ; 
 Sweet as the odors of spring were they 
 Precious and rich but they died away : 
 They came like peace to my heart and ear 
 Never again will they murmur here : 
 They have gone, like the blush of a summer morn 
 Like a crimson cloud, through the sunset borne. 
 
 There were eyes, that late were lit up for me, 
 
 Whose kindly glance was a joy to see : 
 
 They revealed the thoughts of a trusting heart, 
 
 Untouched by sorrow untaught by art : 
 
 Whose affections were fresh as a stream of spring, 
 
 When birds in the vernal branches sing ; 
 
 They were fill'd with love that hath passed with them, 
 
 And my lyre is breathing their requiem. 
 
 win :Ia oifi ni !I **w\ irf^hd VfJT 
 I remember a brow, whose serene repose 
 Seemed to lend a beauty to cheeks of rose ; 
 And lips I remember, whose dewy smile, 
 As I mused on their eloquent power the while, 
 Sent a thrill to my bosom, and blest my brain 
 With raptures that never may dawn again : 
 Amidst musical accents those smiles were shed 
 Alas, for the doom of the early dead !
 
 440 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Alas, for the clod that is resting now, 
 
 On those slumbering eyes on that faded brow ! 
 
 Wo for the cheek that hath ceased to bloom 
 
 For the lips that are dumb in the noisome tomb ; 
 
 Their melody broken, their fragrance gone 
 
 Their aspect cold as the Parian stone : 
 
 Alas, for the hopes that with thee have died 
 
 Oh, loved-one ! would I were by thy side ! 
 
 Yet the joy of grief it is mine to bear : 
 
 I hear thy voice in the twilight air ; 
 
 Thy smile of sweetness untold I see, 
 
 When the visions of evening are borne to me ; 
 
 Thy kiss on my dreaming lip is warm, 
 
 My arm embraceth thy yielding form : 
 
 Then I wake in a world that is sad and drear, 
 
 To feel in my bosom thou art not here! 
 
 Oh, once the summer to me was bright 
 The day, like thine eyes, wore a holy light; 
 There was bliss in existence, when thou wert nigh' 
 There was balm in the evening's rosy sigh : 
 Then earth was an Eden, and thou its guest ; 
 A sabbath of blessings was in my breast : 
 My heart was full of a sense of love, 
 Likest, of all things, to heaven above. 
 
 Now thou art laid in that voiceless hall, 
 Where my budding raptures have perished all ; 
 In that tranquil and holy place of rest, 
 Where the earth lies damp on the sinless breast : 
 Thy bright locks all in the vault are hid 
 Thy brow is concealed by the coffin-lid: 
 All that was lovely to me is there 
 Mournful is life, and a load to bear !
 
 WARNINGS. 441 
 
 WARNINGS. 
 
 THERE are voices of GOD for the careless ear 
 
 A low-breathed whisper when none is near 
 
 In the silent watch of the night's calm hours, 
 
 When the dews are at rest in the deep sealed flowers ; 
 
 When the wings of the zephyr are folded up, 
 
 When the violet bendeth its azure cup ; 
 
 "Pis a breath of reproval a murmuring tone, 
 
 Like music remembered, or extacies gone. 
 
 "Tis a voice that sweeps through the evening sky, 
 
 When clouds o'er the pale moon are hurrying by ; 
 
 While the fickle gusts, as they come and go, 
 
 Wake the forest boughs on the mountain's brow : 
 
 It speaks in the shadows that swiftly pass, 
 
 In the waves, that are roused from the lake's clear glass, 
 
 Where summer shores, in their verdant pride, 
 
 Were pictured but late in the stainless tide. 
 
 And that voice breaks out in the tempest's flight, 
 When the wild winds sweep in their fearful might ; 
 When the lightnings go forth on the hills to play 
 As they pass on their pinions of fire away ; 
 While they fiercely smile through the dusky sky, 
 As the ihunder-peals to their glance reply ; 
 As the bolts leap out from the sombre cloud, 
 While the midnight whirlwinds sing wild and loud ! 
 
 'Tis a voice which comes in the early morn, 
 When the matin hymns of the birds are born ; 
 It steals from the fold of the painted cloud 
 From the forest's draperies, sublime and proud ; 
 Its tones are blent with the running stream, 
 As it sweeps along, like a changeful dream,
 
 442 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 In its light and shade, through the chequered vale, 
 While the uplands are fanned by the viewless gale. 
 
 In the twilight hour, when the weary bird 
 On her nest is sleeping, that voice is heard ; 
 While mist-robes are drawn o'er the green earth's breast, 
 And the sun hath gone down from the faded west ; 
 In the hush of that silence when winds are still, 
 And the light wakes no smile in the quivering rill ; 
 Through the wonderful depths of the purple air, 
 O'er the landscape trembling that voice is there ! 
 
 .qtf I"'- ! ! !<; ":.. -sm v Ml. i,.!..!'// 1 
 
 There are whispers of GOD in the cataract's roar 
 In the Sea's rude wail, on his sounding shore ; 
 In the waves that melt on his azure isles, 
 Where the sunny south on their verdure smiles ; 
 In the oceanward wind from the orange trees 
 In the Sabean odors that load the breeze ; 
 'Midst the incense that floats from Arabia's strand 
 That tone is there with its whispers bland. 
 
 ' ' i . ~ t -. 1 1 
 
 And it saith to the cold and the careless heart, 
 How long wilt thou turn from ' the better part ?' 
 I have called from the infinite depths of heaven, 
 I have called, but no answer to me was given ; 
 From many a hallowed and glorious spot, 
 I have called by my Spirit and ye would not! 
 Thou art far from the haven, and tempest toss'd 
 Hear the cry of thy Pilot, or thou art lost !
 
 EUTHANASIA. 443 
 
 EUTHANASIA. 
 
 i i ' "i t ( t * T 
 
 WHAT is man's history? Bom living dying. 
 
 Leaving the still shore for the troubled wave ; 
 Mid clouds and storms, o'er broken shipwrecks flying, 
 And casting anchor in the silent grave.' 
 
 ft. JJ.U 
 
 METHINKS, when on the languid eye 
 
 Life's varying scenes grow dim; 
 When evening-shadows veil the sky, 
 
 And Pleasure's syren hymn 
 Grows fainter on the tuneless ear, 
 Like echoes from another sphere, 
 
 Or dreams of seraphim 
 It were not sad to cast away 
 This dull and cumbrous load of clay 
 
 It were not sad to feel the heart 
 
 Grow passionless and cold; 
 To feel those longings to depart, 
 
 That cheer'd the saints of old; 
 To clasp the faith which looks on high- 
 Which fires the Christian's dying eye, 
 
 And makes the curtain-fold 
 That falls upon his wasting breast, 
 The door that leads to endless rest. 
 
 It were not lonely thus to lie 
 
 On that triumphant bed, 
 Till the pure spirit mounts on high, 
 
 By white-winged seraphs led : 
 Where glories earth may never know, 
 O'er 'many mansions' lingering, glow, 
 
 In peerless lustre shed; 
 It were not lonely thus to soar, 
 Where sin and grief can sting no more.
 
 444 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 IV. 
 
 And, though the way to such a goal 
 
 Lies through the cloudy tomb, 
 If on the free, unfetter'd soul 
 
 There rest no stains of gloom ; 
 How should its aspirations rise, 
 Far through the blue and fretted skies, 
 
 Up to its final home; 
 Beyond the journeyings of the sun, 
 Where streams of living waters run !
 
 A SONG OF MAY. 445 
 
 A SONG OF MAY. 
 
 THE Spring's scented buds all around me are swelling, 
 
 There are songs in the stream, there is health in the gale ; 
 A sense of delight in each bosom is dwelling, 
 
 As float the pure day-beams o'er mountain and vale ; 
 The desolate reign of Old Winter is broken, 
 
 The verdure is fresh upon every tree ; 
 Of Nature's revival the charm and a token 
 
 Of love, oh thou Spirit of Beauty ! to thee. 
 
 The sun looketh forth from the halls of the morning, 
 
 And flushes the clouds that begirt his career ; 
 He welcomes the gladness and glory, returning 
 
 To rest on the promise and hope of the year. 
 He fills with rich light all the balm-breathing flowers, 
 
 He mounts to the zenith, and, laughs on the wave; 
 He wakes into music the green forest-bowers, 
 
 And gilds the gay plains which the broad rivers lave. 
 
 The young bird is out on his delicate pinion^ 
 
 He timidly sails in the infinite sky ; 
 A greeting to May, and her fairy dominion, 
 
 He pours, on the west- wind's fragrant sigh : 
 Around, above, there are peace and pleasure., 
 
 The woodlands are singing, the heaven is bright ; 
 The fields are unfolding their emerald treasure, 
 
 And man's genial spirit is soaring in light. 
 
 Alas ! for my weary and care-haunted bosom ! 
 
 The spells of the spring-time arouse it no more ; 
 The song in the wild-wood, the sheen of the blossom, 
 
 The fresh-welling fountain, their magic is o'er ! 
 When I list to the streams, when I look on the flowers, 
 
 They tell of the Past with so mournful a tone, 
 That I call up the throngs of my long-vanished hours, 
 
 And sigh that their transports are over and gone.
 
 446 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 From the wide-spreading earth, from the limitless heaven, 
 
 There have vanished an eloquent glory and gleam ; 
 To my veiPd mind no more is the influence given, 
 
 Which coloreth life with the hues of a dream : 
 The bloom-purpled landscape its loveliness keepeth 
 
 I deem that a light as of old gilds the wave ; 
 But the eye of my spirit in heaviness sleepeth, 
 
 Or sees but my youth, and the visions it gave. 
 
 Yet it is not that age on my years hath descended, 
 
 'Tis not that its snow-wreaths encircle my brow ; 
 But the newness and sweetness of Being are ended, 
 
 I feel not their love-kindling witchery now: 
 The shadows of death o'er my path have been sweeping ; 
 
 There are those who have loved me, debarred from the day 
 The green turf is bright where in peace they are sleeping, 
 
 And on wings of remembrance, my soul is away. 
 
 It is shut to the glow of this present existence, 
 
 It hears, from the Past, a funeral strain ; 
 And it eagerly turns to the high-seeming distance, 
 
 Where the last blooms of earth will be garnered again ; 
 Where no mildew the soft damask-rose cheek shall nourish, 
 
 Where Grief bears no longer the poisonous sting ; 
 Where pitiless Death no dark sceptre can flourish, 
 
 Or stain with his blight the luxuriant spring. 
 
 It is thus that the hopes which to others are given, 
 
 Fall cold on my heart in this rich month of May; 
 I hear the clear anthems that ring through the heaven, 
 
 I drink the bland airs that enliven the day; 
 And if gentle Nature, her festival keeping, 
 
 Delights not my bosom, ah ! do not condemn ; 
 O'er the lost and the lovely my spirit is weeping, 
 
 For my heart's fondest raptures are buried with them.
 
 A PLACE OF REST. 447 
 
 A PLACE OF REST. 
 
 ' ALLI los impios cesaron del tumulto ; y alii reposaion los de fuerzas cansadas.' 
 
 WEEP not, thou heavenward pilgrim here, around whose toilsome way 
 The gloom of many a care is thrown, where'er thy feet may stray ; 
 Within whose heart some tender pulse must echo unto pain, 
 When tried by this relentless world, where every dream is vain ; 
 Weep not, though o'er the living glow of Pleasure's brightest wreath, 
 Fate's swift and frequent tempests leave the cloudy stain of death : 
 For endless raptures shall be thine, in mansions of the blest. 
 Where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest. 
 
 Thou must bend unto the Chastener here, and see the deeply lov'd, 
 The pure and beautiful of earth, by early death removed ; 
 Thou must mark on many a blighted cheek, the hectic mildew cling, 
 Thou must bend beneath Time's shadowy frown, when snows are on 
 
 his wing, 
 
 Till the peace which passeth knowledge is garnered in thy soul, 
 Till the silver cord is broken, and crush'd the golden bowl; 
 Till the bright and glorious streets of heaven are by thy feet imprest, 
 Where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest. 
 
 How many flowers will rise and bloom, a flood of sweets to pour 
 Across the mazes of thy way, that earth cannot restore ! 
 How many fond eyes, full of love, will in the grave be hid 
 How will the dark and heavy pall press on each folded lid! 
 Thou must pile the grave's remorseless clod on many a pallid brow, 
 And lift the serenade of death, beneath the cypress bough: 
 Till with a pale and deluged cheek, and with a yearning breast, 
 Thou wilt long for pinions of a dove, to soar and be at rest. 
 
 Yet it is but for a season and thy trials all are past, 
 
 And then! upon the empyreal air thy spirit-wings are cast; 
 
 Then the bonds of earth will sunder, and thine ear will drink the song 
 
 That floats the vernal pastures and crystal waves along : 
 
 Thou wilt join the lost and lovely that have gone before to GOD, 
 
 In a glad 'continual city,' by the earth's redeemed ones trod; 
 
 Where each angel-plume is folded o'er a peaceful brow and breast, 
 
 Where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest.
 
 448 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 THE SIGNS OF GOD. 
 
 I MARK'D the Spring as she pass'd along, 
 
 With her eye of light, and her lip of song ; 
 
 While she stole in peace o'er the green earth's breast, 
 
 While the streams sprang ont from their icy rest : 
 
 The buds bent low to the breeze's sigh, 
 
 And their breath went forth in the scented sky ; 
 
 When the fields look'd fresh in their sweet repose, 
 
 And the young dews slept on the new-born rose. 
 
 The scene was changed. It was Autumn's hour : 
 A frost had discolor' d the summer bower ; 
 The blast wailed sad mid the wither'd leaves, 
 The reaper stood musing by gather'd sheaves ; 
 The mellow pomp of the rainbow woods 
 Was stirr'd by the sound of the rising floods ; 
 And I knew by the cloud, by the wild wind's strain, 
 That Winter drew near with his storms again ! 
 
 I stood by the ocean; its waters rolled 
 
 In their changeful beauty of sapphire and gold ; 
 
 And day looked down with its radiant smiles, 
 
 Where the blue waves danced round a thousand isles : 
 
 The ships went forth on the trackless seas, 
 
 Their white wings play'd in the joyous breeze ; 
 
 Their prows rushed on mid the parted foam, 
 
 While the wanderer was wrapp'd in a dream of home ! 
 
 * 
 
 The mountain arose with its lofty brow, 
 While its shadow was sleeping in vales below ; 
 The mist like a garland of glory lay, 
 Where its proud heights soar'd in the air away ; 
 The eagle was there on his tireless wing, 
 And his shriek went up like an offering : 
 And he seem'd, in his sunward flight, to raise 
 A chant of thanksgiving a hymn of praise !
 
 THE SIGNS OF GOD. 
 
 1 look'd on the arch of the midnight skies, 
 With its blue and unsearchable mysteries : 
 The moon, mid an eloquent multitude 
 Of unnumber'd stars, her career pursued : 
 A charm of sleep on the city fell, 
 All sounds lay hush'd in that brooding spell ; 
 By babbling brooks were the buds at rest, 
 And the wild-bird dream'd on his downy nest. 
 
 I stood where the deepening tempest pass'd, 
 The strong trees groan'd in the sounding blast ; 
 The murmuring deep with its wrecks roll'd on, 
 The clouds o'ershadow'd the mighty sun ; 
 The low reeds bent by the streamlet's side, 
 And hills to the thunder-peal replied ; 
 The lightning burst forth on its fearful way, 
 While the heavens were lit in its red array ! 
 
 And hath MAN the power, with his pride and hia skill, 
 
 To arouse all nature with storms at will ? 
 
 Hath he power to color the summer-cloud 
 
 To allay the tempest when hills are bow'd ? 
 
 Can he waken the Spring with her festal wreath ? 
 
 Can the sun grow dim by his lightest breath ? 
 
 Will he come again when death's vale is trod ? 
 
 Who then shall dare murmur ' There is no God!' 
 
 29
 
 450 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 MEMORY. 
 
 Tis sweet to remember ! I would not forego 
 
 The charm which the past o'er the present can throw, 
 
 For all the gay visions that Fancy may weave 
 
 In her web of illusion, that shines to deceive. 
 
 We know not the future the past we have felt 
 
 Its cherish'd enjoyments the bosom can melt ; 
 
 Its raptures anew o'er our pulses may roll, 
 
 When thoughts of the morrow fall cold on the soul. 
 
 'Tis sweet to remember! When storms are abroad, 
 To see in the rainbow the promise of GOD : 
 The day may be darken'd, but far in the west, 
 In vermilion and gold, sinks the sun to his rest ; 
 With smiles like the morning he passeth away : 
 Thus the beams of delight on the spirit can play, 
 When in calm reminiscence we gather the flowers 
 Which love scatter'd round us in happier hours. 
 
 'Tis sweet to remember! When friends are unkind, 
 
 When their coldness and carelessness shadow the mind ; 
 
 Then, to draw back the veil which envelopes a land 
 
 Where delectable prospects in beauty expand; 
 
 To smell the green fields, the fresh waters to hear 
 
 Whose once faiiy music enchanted the ear; 
 
 To drink in the smiles that delighted us then, 
 
 To list the fond voices of childhood again; 
 
 O, this the sad heart, like a reed that is bruised, 
 
 Binds up, when the banquet of hope is refused. 
 
 'Tis sweet to remember ! And naught can destroy 
 
 The balm-breathing comfort, the glory, the joy, 
 
 Which spring from that fountain to gladden our way, 
 
 When the changeful and faithless desert or betray. 
 
 I would not forget! though my thoughts should be dark, 
 
 O'er the ocean of life I look back from my bark, 
 
 And I see the lost Eden, where once I was blest, 
 
 A type and a promise of heavenly rest.
 
 ON THE DEATH OF DR. BEDELL. 461 
 
 ON THE DEATH OF DR. BEDELL. 
 
 HE has gone to a mansion of rest, 
 
 From a region of sorrow and pain; 
 To the glorious Land of the Blest, 
 
 Where he never can suft'er again : 
 The pangs of affliction and sickness are o'er 
 The cloud on his spirit will darken no more! 
 
 He has gone, like the life-waking sun, 
 
 Descending the radiant sky; 
 Ere the stars have their shining begun, 
 
 And are hid by the day-beams on high ; 
 The night could not rest on the wings of his soul, 
 Nor the shadows of earth their uprising control. 
 
 The watchman is missed from the wall, 
 Where his warnings so often have rung; 
 
 No more the affectionate call, 
 
 Or remonstrance, will melt from his tongue; 
 
 There is dust on his lip, and the shroud on his breast, 
 
 And the deep seal of peace on his eyelid is prest. 
 
 How oft, when the sanctified air 
 
 Round the altar with music was filled, 
 
 Have the words of his eloquent prayer 
 Gone forth, like rich incense distilled ; 
 
 Like the breath of Spring roses ascending the skies, 
 
 To GOD, an acceptable sacrifice. 
 
 His heart was a fountain of love 
 
 It stirred in the light of his mind, 
 Whose glory was caught from above, 
 
 Where the pearl of great price was enshrined ; 
 He taught the dark spirit to look to its ray, 
 And to feel its warm glow in life's gloomiest day.
 
 452 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 He knew that our pilgrimage here 
 Was a dream : he remembered as dust 
 
 The throngs that assembled to hear, 
 And bade them in heaven to trust. 
 
 And armed with persuasion, and pity, and prayer, 
 
 He shunned not the counsel of GOD to declare. 
 
 How oft like the heart-moving Paul, 
 
 Did he beckon with wavering hand, 
 Till silence around him would fall, 
 
 Then, echo his SAVIOUR'S command; 
 Till his magical accents the hearer received, 
 Their soberness treasured, and hearing, believed. 
 
 Who mourns that his garland is won, 
 
 That the crown on his forehead is bright? 
 
 That his trials and labors are done, 
 That his spirit rejoices, in light ? 
 
 Who weeps that our loss is his infinite gain, 
 
 Where Death may not enter, and Sin cannot stain? 
 
 He walks in the smile of his GOD, 
 
 And looks o'er those realms of the sky, 
 
 Where Mortality's foot never trod, 
 Unseen by Mortality's eye : 
 
 Where calm by green pastures, and dwellings of gold, 
 
 The waters of life all their splendor unfold. 
 
 And he sees in the shadowless air, 
 
 That lofty and beautiful tree, 
 Whose blossoms and fruits blooming fair, 
 
 Are spread for the ransomed to see ; 
 He hears the glad harpers that linger beneath, 
 And feels not the fear of corruption or death. 
 
 Oh, leave him to rest with his GOD, 
 
 To join in that music benign 
 Which swells o'er his blessed abode, 
 
 Where every sight is divine, 
 Where flowers immortal with lustre are fed, 
 From the source of all glory unceasingly shed!
 
 BOOTS. 453 
 
 BOOTS: 
 
 A s i, l l 1 s li o n l c \ l. LYRIC. 
 
 THE watch has brawl'd ^levin,' and the moon 
 
 Walks through the evening heaven like a queen, 
 
 Raining soft influences on lovers' minds, 
 
 While I, with fragrant and serene cigar 
 
 Prest satisfactorily betwixt my lips, 
 
 Am lounging in that Traveller's Paradise, 
 
 Hight bar-room in the vulgate, looking round, 
 
 With honest speculation in mine eye 
 
 In quest of food for thought. By Jove, 'tis here ! 
 
 I have't : in yonder huge and gloomy pile 
 
 Of travellers' boots, is inspiration hid. 
 
 Come, bustle, honest Muse, and help me sing, 
 
 In fanciful disportings on the theme, 
 
 Till from this scented tube departs the fire, 
 
 And all its ashes slumber on my lyre. 
 
 Time was, when boots were not ; when graceful feet 
 
 Of men and women, unrestricted, prest 
 
 Their mother earth denuded. Then, suddenly, 
 
 The Greek and Roman sandal came in vogue : 
 
 August Athena's streets, to soles of cork, 
 
 Trod by philosophers and stoics Jews, 
 
 Cretes and Arabians echoed as they trode ; 
 
 And e'en the solemn groves of Academe 
 
 Beheld the feet that bore a master mind 
 
 'Neath Plato's lofty and impressive brow, 
 
 Press the gay sandal on the olive leaves, 
 
 Which autumn winds had shaken to the ground. 
 
 In Rome, the tribune, lictor, senator, 
 
 Proconsul, headsman, and centurion, 
 
 The graceful sandal wore. Apostles, too, 
 
 Did patronize the article. The light 
 
 Which burst on Peter's dungeon, as he lay 
 
 Hedged in by soldiers at the midnight hour,
 
 454 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Was scattered from an angel's odorous wing, 
 
 And on the prisoner's chains and sandals streamed ; 
 
 The first fell off the latter he did don, 
 
 And walked abroad in freedom. And in sooth, 
 
 Where'er the Greek or Roman power had sway. 
 
 The sandal, with its daiMv tie, became 
 
 The fashionable thing. 
 
 iuty 
 
 At last boots came ; 
 
 But how, or when, it boots not now to tell, 
 
 Save that they did advene ; and through all time 
 
 Since their first origin, have kept their state, 
 
 Circling the calves of youth, and the slim shanks 
 
 Of weak and trembling age. Of various name, 
 
 Their titles I invoke not for I know 
 
 Their number numberless ; nor eke of style, 
 
 Of Wellington, Suwarrow, tasselled, laced, 
 
 Civil, or military ; seven-leagued, 
 
 Or Chinese kinds, diminished, have I time 
 
 To dwell on at this present, nor need tell 
 
 How since their date, their fabricators swarm. 
 
 St. Crispin's followers are every where : 
 
 In France, the cordonnier ; in England, named 
 
 Knights of the enwaxed end. The race is large, 
 
 And keep their azure Mondays festivals 
 
 Of old renown with wassail and with song. 
 
 My present business doth not lie with these, 
 
 But rather to discourse, as in me lies, 
 
 About this pile, of boots before mine eyes. 
 
 It seems to rise, as if its apex strove 
 
 To reach that constellation, Bootes ^'clept, 
 
 To which Arcturus clings. But I demand 
 
 My fancy from the stars, to help me here. 
 
 There stands a scurvy pair, with tops of red, 
 Sore wasted at the heel, and slim at toe. 
 The straps are broken; and the owner's mind 
 And disposition, thus to me exposed, 
 Are clear, as if I knew him. He's a young 
 And hair-brained biped, has a sprawling foot,
 
 BOOTS. 455 
 
 But fain would be 'genteel,' and so has cased 
 
 His pedal adjuncts in a narrow space, 
 
 By much too small for comfort. When he draws 
 
 Those boots upon his legs at morn, he chafes, 
 
 And stamps the floor, and vents the spiteful *d nl* 
 
 Because they will not on. When in the street, 
 
 He hath a rapid gait, and stalks abroad, 
 
 On politics or business, with an air, 
 
 As if a nation's cares were on his mind, 
 
 Heavy as Atlas' load. Be sure, that man 
 
 Loves, eats, and drinks, and all his acts performs, 
 
 In the Cambyses' vein. 
 
 Adjacent riseth, with the look of eld, 
 
 A pair of fair-tops ; and to Fancy's eye, 
 
 Their owner stands Jbeside them. He is one 
 
 Now near the turn of sixty, and his hair 
 
 Is powdered, white as snow-wreaths ; and his cane 
 
 Is headed o'er with gold. Whene'er he treads, 
 
 The spotless dust on broadcloth collar falls; 
 
 And as he walks the street, full many a hat 
 
 Is touched to do him reverence. At his board 
 
 The choicest wines are found, that, quick and warm, 
 
 Ascend them to the brain. He readeth loud 
 
 The liturgy o' Sundays while the priest 
 
 Whenas he glanceth tow'rd his cushioned pew, 
 
 Bethinks him of that layman's sumptuous fare. 
 
 I like not that next pair a clumsy mass 
 
 Of ill-conditioned leather. To a boor, 
 
 A walking porker, do I quickly trace 
 
 Their certain ownership. What sprawling heels ! 
 
 And holes are cut anigh the spreading toes, 
 
 As if the ponderous feet in that wide space 
 
 Had still been ' cabined, cribbed,' and wanted room ; 
 
 Or else, that doleful crops of pedal maize, 
 
 Called by the vulgar corns, had flourished there. 
 
 I see the wearer plainly. Large of form, 
 
 He moves abroad like stern Rhinoceros 
 
 Or Behemoth in the ocean ; or, to rise 

 
 456 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 In metaphor, like old Sam. Johnson's form 
 
 Wending along Cheapside. In public haunts 
 
 He of his self-deportment takes no heed, 
 
 And spitteth evermore. His lips are scaled 
 
 And juicy, like wind-beparched mouth 
 
 Of ichthyophagous Kamschatkadale ; and oft 
 
 With three sheets in the wind, in upper tier 
 
 Midst mirthful Cyprians, he puts his feet 
 
 Over the box's front, and leaning back, 
 
 Guffaws and swears, like privateer at see, 
 
 Until the pitlings from beneath, exclaim, 
 
 ' Boots !' ' Trollope !' and he straightway draws them in. 
 
 Mr fragrant tube is out and objects swim 
 Like coming dreams before my drowsy eyes ; 
 Yet one more pair of boots, ere I retire, 
 I fain, in thoughtful mood, would scrutinize, 
 A dapper pair, yet gaudy not, but neat, 
 As if they needed neither brush nor shine, 
 For marks of both they bear. He who inserts 
 His understanding in them, comes to town 
 A merchant, trafficking and getting gain : 
 He hath a wife and pleasant babes at home, 
 To whom the squeak of those familiar soles 
 Is like to heavenly music. That wife delights, 
 What time she sweetly ' plies her evening care,' 
 To hear that squeak, and see the infant smile, 
 Tilted on parent knee. He lives and trades 
 In a fair village, ' throned by the West,' 
 Embowered in trees, and reached by rural roads, 
 All variously diverging, where in throngs, 
 The wealthy farmers come. He leads the choir 
 At church, and sets the quaint, old-fashioned 
 The pitch-pipe blows, and is, in all respects, 
 The magnate of the village. 
 
 Mr subjects multiply but to my gaze, 
 Half dimmed with sleep, fantastic boots arise,
 
 BOOTS. 457 
 
 And turn to shapes, and menace me with fear 
 Of kicks and damage, if I publish them. 
 I shrink from such a penalty. Now dreams, 
 And shades, and forms, and fluttering entities, 
 Surround my brain so fast, that I opine 
 My wakefulness is doubtful. Yea it is 
 And all my pictures do themselves resolve 
 To mere oblivion.
 
 458 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 PRAYER. 
 
 WHEN on the sad and yearning heart 
 
 The clouds of early sorrow fall, 
 Oh ! what shall bid their gloom depart, 
 
 And lift the spirit from their thrall ? 
 When 'neath the foldings of the pall 
 
 The lost and beautiful are laid, 
 Oh, who shall answer to the call 
 
 By watchful love in anguish made? 
 
 When from our daily paths, like flowers, 
 
 Our kindred wither one by one, 
 Ah ! what shall gild the weary hours, 
 
 Or bring again the unshadow'd sun 
 His bright and golden course to run ? 
 
 To chase the clouds thai round him rise 
 Recal again each lustre gone, 
 
 And bathe in light the uplifted skies? 
 
 When, with a shadow o'er them flung, 
 
 Appear the sere autumnal trees; 
 And every blast their boughs among 
 
 Awakens mournful images; 
 What, on the lapse of hours like these, 
 
 Can earth, with all its phantoms, fling, 
 When Hope hath ceased her melodies, 
 
 And folded up her rainbow-wing ? 
 
 Is it not sweet, when song and dream 
 
 Have pass'd, like sunset's sky of fire, 
 When Love's false pinion sheds no gleam 
 
 O'er Pleasure's crushed and tuneless lyre, 
 To raise with purified desire 
 
 The prayer, in earnest suppliance given, 
 Which lifts the immortal spirit higher, 
 
 And antedates the joy of Heaven ?
 
 THE HEXEN ZEK. 469 
 
 THE HEXEN ZEE. 
 
 4 How glumly sownes yon dirgy songe ! 
 
 Night ravens flappe the wing ; 
 \Vhat bell doth slowly toll ding dong 7 
 
 The psalms of death who sing t 
 Look up, look up ! an airy crew 
 
 In roundel daunces reele : 
 The moon is bright, and blue the night 
 
 Mays't see them dimly wheele.' BUBOES. 
 
 I. 
 
 'TwAS a sunset hour, and the waters play'd 
 
 Like living light on the golden sand : 
 The dark green trees by the gale were sway'd 
 
 As their wings swept over the quiet land : 
 And as those wavelets kissed the shore 
 
 With a gush of delicate melody, 
 They seemed in a traveller's ear to pour 
 
 This marvellous tale of the Hexen Zee: 
 
 n. 
 
 "Tis a haunted place where thou art now, 
 
 And when the west hath lost the sun, 
 And silvery moon-beams waver slow, 
 
 Where here the chasing billows run ; 
 When fairy mists like spirits throng 
 
 About this undulating tide, 
 Then sweep the witches' trains along, 
 
 And charm the air whereon they ride. 
 
 in. 
 And, as between the waning moon 
 
 And Brocken's height their forms are seen, 
 While midnight's melancholy noon 
 
 Extends its thoughtful reign serene, 
 
 *THE Hexen Zee, or Witches' Lake, is described by modern travellers in Germany as one of 
 the neighboring wonders of the Brocken mountain. It is not wide, but, according to tradi- 
 tion, onlathomably deep.
 
 460 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Their rustling folds are heard above, 
 
 The branches groan in every tree ; 
 Till on the lake these spectres move, 
 
 And sing this song of the Hexen Zee :' 
 
 IV. 
 
 4 Our boat is strong, its oars are good, 
 
 Of charnel bones its ribs are made ; 
 From coffins old we carved the wood, 
 
 Beneath the gloomy cypress shade ; 
 An ignis-fatuus lights the prow, 
 
 It is a felon's blood-shot e'e, 
 And it shineth forth from his skeleton brow, 
 
 To light our way o'er the Hexen Zee. 
 
 v. 
 
 ' There's a scream of dreaming birds afar, 
 
 And a hollow blast in the old Hartz wood : 
 Our course was marked by the evening star, 
 
 By the wakeful eagle's glance pursued : 
 The tree-toad moaned on the mossy limb, 
 
 And plunged in the pool 'neath the dark yew-tree, 
 But what care we for the likes of him,' 
 
 While we sing and sail on the Hexen Zee ? 
 
 VI. 
 
 1 We have come over forest, and glen, and moor, 
 
 We have ivy leaves from the castle wall ; 
 We roved by the huts of the sleeping poor, 
 
 And we heard their faithful watch-dogs call; 
 Over cities and hamlets in haste we swept 
 
 Over gardens and turrets o'er hill and lea; 
 Our race now pauseth, our pledge we have kept, 
 
 And together we sail on the Hexen Zee. 
 
 VII. 
 
 4 There's a vapor of gray, and a crimson hue, 
 In the wake of our bark as we haste along; 
 
 The sails are clothed in a flame of blue, 
 And our voices are hoarse with this elfin song:
 
 THE HEXEN ZEE. 461 
 
 The finny tribes as they cross our wake, 
 
 A-floating in lifeless throngs we see ; 
 To Hecate an offering thus we make, 
 
 Who is fond of fish from the Hexen Zee. 
 
 ' Look to the east ! there the dawn is red, 
 
 Through the cedar branches it 'gins to glow; 
 Our song must be ended our spell is dead, 
 
 Away to our cloudy homes we go : 
 The charm is finished ; the distant chime 
 
 Of bells are echoing one two three ; 
 We will mount the blast and depart in time, 
 
 Afar from the haunted Hexen Zee.'
 
 462 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 ELEGIAC STANZAS. 
 
 THOU art laid to rest in the spring-time hours, 
 
 In the freshness of early feeling ; 
 While the dew yet lies on the new-born flowers, 
 
 And winds through the wood-paths are stealing ; 
 While yet life was gay to thine ardent eye, 
 
 While its rich hopes filled thy bosom ; 
 While each dream was pure as the upper sky, 
 
 And sweet as the opening blossom : 
 But thy promise of being, which shone so fair, 
 Hath passed like a summer cloud in air; 
 Thy bosom is cold, which with love was warm, 
 And the grave embraces thy gentle form. 
 
 Thou art slumbering now in a voiceless cell, 
 
 While Nature her garland is wreathing ; 
 While the earth seems touched with a radiant spell, 
 
 And the air of delight is breathing ; 
 While the day looks down with a mellow beam, 
 
 Where the roses in light are blushing : 
 While the young leaves dance with a fitful gleam, 
 
 And the stream into song is gushing; 
 While bright wings play in the golden sun, 
 The tomb hath caressed thee, thou faded one! 
 The clod lies cold on that settled brow, 
 Which was beaming with pleasure and youth but now. 
 
 Should we mourn that Death's Angel, on dusky wing, 
 
 O'er thy flowery path has driven ? 
 That he crushed the buds of thy sunny spring 
 
 That thy spirit is borne to heaven ? 
 How soon will the visions of earth grow dim 
 
 How soon will its hopes be faded; 
 And the heart that hath leaped to the syren's hymn, 
 
 With sadness and gloom be o'ershaded ! 
 The feelings are fresh but a little while ; 
 We can bask but an hour in affection's smile,
 
 ELEGIAC STANZAS. 463 
 
 Ere the friend and the lover have passed away 
 Ere the anthem is sung o'er their wasting clay ? 
 
 Then take thy rest in that shadowy hall, 
 
 In thy mournful shroud reposing ; 
 There is no cloud on the soul to fall, 
 
 No dust o'er its light is closing : 
 It will shine in glory when time is o'er, 
 
 When each phantom of earth shall wither; 
 When the friends who deplore thee shall sigh no more, 
 
 And lie down in the dust together: 
 Though sad winds wail in the cypress bough, 
 Thou art resting untroubled and calmly now: 
 With a seal of sleep on thy folded eye, 
 While thy spirit is glad in the courts on high.
 
 464 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 LOVE'S RIVAL. 
 
 1 THE vy LY AN drew back, and without another word, hurried away ; he returned to the town ; 
 he sought, with methodical calmness, the owner of a piece of ground on which GERTRUDE had 
 
 liiauu ii. 
 
 ' ' Shall it be done forthwith, Sir T said he, hesitating. ' Forthwith,' answered TREVYLYAN 
 with a calm smile ; ' a bridegroom, you know, is naturally impatient.' ' 
 
 PILGRIMS or THE RHINE. 
 
 PILGRIMS or THE 
 
 OH, thou that lovest ! do not deem thou hast no rival nigh, 
 
 To interrupt thy visions, or cloud thy golden sky ; 
 
 And though Hope's syren voice beguile, believe not all her song, 
 
 Nor deem the joys enduring that to the lay belong. 
 
 Thou hast a rival, lover, however blest thou art, 
 
 How dear soe'er the object be, that kindles up thy heart ; 
 
 There may be bloom upon her cheek, light on her forehead fair, 
 
 And balm upon her rich red lip, as sweet as roses are ; 
 
 And kindness in her lustrous eyes on thee alone bestowed, 
 
 The stars that guide thy pilgrimage on life's uncertain road; 
 
 It may appear that all in all, thou art alone to her, 
 
 And yet, thou hast a rival, deluded worshipper ! 
 
 Yes, though the kisses from her lips, when they to thine are prest, 
 Are like the fragrant winds of Spring that wander from the West : 
 Though that voice is kindest to thine ear, and though that tender eye 
 Is brighter when thy step is heard, and when thy form is nigh ; 
 Though every glance be full of love, yet fate will bid thee own 
 Thou hast a busy rival, thou idolizing one ! 
 A rival, horrible and grim, yet wooing unconfined, 
 Whom tears nor prayers can overcome, nor exorcism bind. 
 
 He walks a spectre by her side, impalpable as Night 
 He wafts to her the fever-dream, and checks her young delight ; 
 And though unseen by mortal eye, and clothed in vapors dim, 
 He yet will win her to his arms, to sleep in peace with him : 
 He will fold her, unresisting, to his lone and gloomy breast, 
 And curtains, dark as Midian's land, draw round her place of rest ; 
 And torn from thy caressing arms, fond lover! she will be 
 Within a narrow mansion, enclosed away from thee.
 
 LOVE'S RIVAL. 465 
 
 Death is that rival, lover ! and soon or late will rend 
 
 From thy embrace his victim, thy fond one, and thy friend ! 
 
 And when he knocketh at thy door, thou canst not say him nay 
 
 He will rob thee of thy treasure, and bear it hence away. 
 
 Then love with fear and trembling, the idol of thy soul 
 
 For life's bright cord is feeble, and frail its golden bowl : 
 
 And let the cloudless eye of faith the hour of rapture see, 
 
 When ' raised in incorruption' ye both at last may be ! 
 
 30 
 
 
 
 
 * 
 
 t 
 
 fr
 
 466 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 OCTOBER. 
 
 iuw ***,!)) !"'* "!*' .;;,:><..> 
 SOLEMN, yet beautiful to view, 
 
 Month of my heart ! thou dawnest here, 
 With sad and faded leaves to strew 
 
 The Summer's melancholy bier. 
 The moaning of thy winds I hear, 
 
 As the red sunset dies afar, 
 And bars of purple clouds appear, 
 
 Obscuring every western star. 
 
 Thou solemn month ! I hear thy voice, 
 
 It tells my soul of other days, 
 When but to live was to rejoice, 
 
 When earth was lovely to my gaze! 
 Oh, visions bright oh, blessed hours, 
 
 Where are their living raptures now ? 
 I ask my spirit's wearied powers 
 
 I ask my pale and fevered brow ! 
 
 I look to Nature, and behold 
 
 My life's dim emblems, rustling round, 
 In hues of crimson and of gold 
 
 The year's dead honors on the ground : 
 And sighing with the winds, 1 feel, 
 
 While their low pinions murmur by, 
 How much their sweeping tones reveal 
 
 Of life and human destiny. 
 
 When Spring's delightsome moments shone, 
 
 They came in zephyrs from the West; 
 They bore the wood-lark's melting tone, 
 
 They stirred the blue lake's glassy breast: 
 Though Summer, fainting in the heat, 
 
 They lingered in the forest shade ; 
 But changed and strengthened now, they beat 
 
 In storm, o'er mountain, glen and glade.
 
 OCTOBER. 
 
 How like those transports of the breast 
 
 When life is fresh and joy is new ; 
 Soft as the halcyon's downy nest, 
 
 And transient all as they are true ! 
 They stif the leave in that bright wreaths, 
 
 Which Hope about her forehead twines, 
 Till Griefs hot sighs around it breathe, 
 
 Then Pleasure's lip its smile resigns. 
 
 Alas, for Time, and Death, and care, 
 
 What gloom about our way they fling! 
 Like clouds in Autumn's gusty air, 
 
 The burial-pageant of the Spring. 
 The dreams that each successive year 
 
 Seemed bathed in hues of brighter pride, 
 At last like withered leaves appear, 
 
 And sleep in darkness, side by side. 
 
 % 
 
 *
 
 468 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS, 
 
 HYMN 
 
 FOE THE EIGHTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE AMERICAN SUNDAY SCHOOL UWIOH. 
 
 WE have met in peace together, 
 
 In this house of GOD again: 
 Constant friends have led us hither, 
 
 Here to chaunt the solemn strain: 
 Here to breathe our adoration, 
 
 While the balmy breeze of spring, 
 Like the Spirit of Salvation, 
 
 Comes with gladness on its wing! 
 
 And, while nature glows with beauty, 
 
 While the fields are rich in flowers, 
 Shall our hearts neglect their duty, 
 
 Shall our souls abuse their powers? 
 Shall not all our hopes ascending, 
 
 Point us to a home above, 
 Where, in glory never ending, 
 
 HE who made us smiles in love? 
 
 There no autumn-tempests gather: 
 
 There no friends lament the dead 
 And on fields that never wither, 
 
 Fadeless rays of light are shed : 
 There with bright immortal roses, 
 
 Angels wreath their harps of gold, 
 And each ransom'd soul reposes 
 
 'Midst a scene of bliss untold. 
 
 We have met, and time is flying, 
 
 We shall part and still his wing, 
 Sweeping o'er the dead and dying, 
 
 Will the changeful seasons bring ; 
 Let us, while our hearts are lightest, 
 
 In our fresh and early years, 
 Turn to HIM whose smile is brightest, 
 
 And whose grace will calm our fears.
 
 HYMN. 
 
 
 HE will aid us, though existence 
 With its sorrows sting the breast ; 
 
 Gleaming in the onward distance, 
 Faith will make the Land of Rest ; 
 
 There, 'mid day beams round him playing, 
 We our FATHER'S face shall see, 
 
 And shall hear HIM gently saying, 
 'Little children, come to me.'
 
 470 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 YESTERDAY. 
 
 AND where are now thy sunny hours, 
 
 Fond man, which shone but yesterday ? 
 Perchance thy path was rich with flowers, 
 
 That glittered in thy joyous way ! 
 Perchance the Day's pure eye of light 
 
 Was one interminable smile; 
 And visions, eloquent and bright, 
 
 Stirred thy rapt soul with bliss the while. 
 
 And where are they ? the swelling tide 
 
 Of onward and resistless time 
 Is strewn with wrecks of baffled pride, 
 
 Conceptions high, and hopes sublime ; 
 Dreams, that have shed upon the earth 
 
 The gladdening hues of Paradise ; 
 Their charm is flown ; hushed is their mirth, 
 
 And all their kindling ecstacies ! 
 
 It may be that thy heart was sad 
 
 And wrapt in sorrows yesterday ; 
 Perchance the scenes that once could glad 
 
 Thy spirit, passed like spring away ; 
 That on the waste of years, was seen 
 
 Naught that might cheer thy gloomy breast, 
 
 jt 
 
 No sunny spot, of vernal green, 
 
 On which the thoughtful eye could rest. 
 
 What recks it now, that then a cloud 
 
 Was dimly brooding o'er thy head; 
 That to the tempest thou hast bow'd, 
 
 When Joy's ephemeral beams had fled 1 
 That day hath gone its care is o'er ; 
 
 Its shadows all have passed away ; 
 Time's wave hath murmured by that shore; 
 
 And round thee now is but to-day.
 
 YESTERDAY. 471 
 
 Then what is Yesterday? a breath, 
 
 A whisper of the summer breeze ; 
 A thing of silent birth and death, 
 
 Colored by man's fond sympathies ! 
 It had its buds they all are gone ; 
 
 Its fears but they are now no more ; 
 Ets hopes but they were quickly flown: 
 
 Its pure delights and they are o'er ! 
 
 Look ye not back save but to glean 
 
 From the deep memories of the past, 
 From the illusions of each scene, 
 
 The thought, that time is flying fast ; 
 That vanity on things of Earth 
 
 Is by a pointed diamond writ; 
 Its hours of wild and transient mirth 
 
 Are midnight skies by meteors lit ! 
 
 Oh, what is Yesterday 1 a ray 
 
 Which burst on Being's troubled wave ; 
 Which passed like a swift thought away 
 
 Unto Eternity's wide grave ; 
 A star whose light hath left the sky 
 
 But for a little moment given ; 
 Scarce flickering on the gladdened eye ; 
 
 Ere it hath left the vault of Heaven ! 
 
 To-day I How in its little span, 
 
 The interests of an endless state, 
 -' :i 
 
 Beyond the feverish life of man, 
 
 Are crowded with their awful weight! 
 Prayers may ascend ; the soul may pour 
 
 Its trembling supplications here, 
 That when Time's fitful hour is o'er 
 
 Its hopes of Heaven may blossom there !
 
 472 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 THE NAMELESS GRAVE. 
 
 'Tis a calm spot in Summer's hour and in the dawn of Spring, 
 While buds come up, like freshening thoughts when Youth is on the 
 
 wing : 
 
 Here, while the unfolding gates of Day, are opening free and wide, 
 And glory robes the landscape rour\d, in an unsullied pride; 
 While the amber clouds that gem the West are melting in the sun; 
 And, lessening in his radiant smile, through the far ether run: 
 Here, where beneath the sanctity of the bright azure sky, 
 The new-born birds are dancing on the south wind's fragrant sigh ; 
 Where the sun-lit brook sends on the ear the prattle of its wave, 
 And melts upon the vernal shore, is placed a nameless Grave! 
 
 A haunTfor monitory thought on life's dull scene is this, 
 A lesson on its fleeting hour, its little day of bliss : 
 No sculptured marble marks the spot where this dull clay is laid; 
 No sigh is breathed, save of the gale, in the dim cypress shade ! 
 And who this wasting breast hath lov'd, the still grave answers not; 
 'Tis only known its throbs are hush'd, its weariness forgot : 
 The clod hath sent its hollow sound up from the coffin-lid: 
 The farewell hath been spoken the familiar face been hid! 
 
 And where are they, who once did stand beside this nameless mound, 
 
 And felt the unhealed pang of Grief the bosom's secret wound? 
 
 The love they bore, the tears they shed ? oh, who the tale may tell ! 
 
 The fitful winds no record keep, what sorrows then befell; 
 
 The sunny brook goes babbling on ; the Spring-leaves come and go, 
 
 Yet they waken not the heart that' here lies mouldering and low; 
 
 These ashes will not live again till the dim skies abroad 
 
 Are as a scroll, and Earth and Sea heave in the breath of GOD!
 
 THE ALPS. 473 
 
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 THE ALPS. 
 
 PROUD monuments of GOD ! sublime ye stand, 
 
 Among the wonders of His mighty hand : 
 
 With summits soaring in the upper sky, 
 
 Where the broad day looks down with burning eye. 
 
 Where gorgeous clouds in solemn pomp repose, 
 
 Flinging rich shadows on eternal snows : 
 
 Piles of triumphant dust, ye stand alone, 
 
 And hold in kingly state a peerless throne. 
 
 Like olden conquerors, on high ye rear 
 The regal ensign and the shining spear ; 
 Round icy peaks the mists, in wreaths unrolPd, 
 Float ever near, in purple or in gold : 
 And voiceful torrents, sternly rolling there, 
 Fill with wild music the unpillared air : 
 What garden, or what hall on earth beneath, 
 Thrills to such tones as o'er the mountains breathe ? 
 
 There, through long ages past, those summits shone, 
 When morning radiance on their state was thrown : 
 There, when the summer day's career was done, 
 Played the last glory of the : sinking sun : 
 There, sprinkling beauty o'er the torrent's shade, 
 The chastened moon her glittering rainbow made : 
 And, blent with pictured stars her lustre lay, 
 Where to still vales the free streams leap'd away. 
 
 Where are the thronging hosts of other days, 
 Whose banners floated o'er the Alpine ways ? 
 Who through their high defiles to battle wound, 
 While deadly ordnance stirr'd the heights around? 
 Gone like a dream which melts at early morn, 
 When the lark's anthem through the sky is borne ;,
 
 474 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Gone like the hues that melt in ocean's spray, 
 And chill Oblivion murmurs where are they? 
 
 Yet ' Alps on Alps' still rise the lofty home 
 
 Of storms and eagles, where their pinions roam : 
 
 Still round their peaks the magic colors lie 
 
 Of morn or eve, imprinted on the sky ; 
 
 And still, when kings and thrones shall fade and fall, 
 
 And empty crowns lie dim upon the pall ; 
 
 Still shall their glaciers flash their waters roar, 
 
 Till nations fail, and kingdoms rise no more.
 
 THE YOUTHFUL DEAD. >% 475 
 
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 THE YOUTHFUL DEAD. 
 
 ' WEEP not for the Youthful Dead, 
 Sleeping in their lowly bed ; 
 They are happier than we, 
 Howsoever blest we be !' 
 
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 CAN the sigh be poured for the Early Dead, 
 
 On their pillows of dust reposing ? 
 Should the tear of Pain, in that hour be shed, 
 
 When the earth o'er their slumber is closing ? 
 Should the winds of heaven in Evening's hour 
 
 Bear the sighs of the laden bosom; 
 When the Young are borne from Affliction's power, 
 
 Like the Spring's unsullied blossom? 
 Ere the blight of crime on the spirit came 
 Ere passion awakened its inward flame : 
 While the heart was pure, while the brow was fair, 
 Ere the records of Evil had gathered there 1 
 
 ii. 
 They have passed from the shadows that haunt us round, 
 
 From the clouds that enthral existence, 
 When we look at Youth in the backward ground, 
 
 And at Death in the forward distance! 
 No more will the sombre pall of Fate, 
 
 Like a mantle around them gather; 
 They have gone, ere Affection grew desolate, 
 
 Or Hope's garland began to wither: 
 And they sleep like stars in the upper air, 
 When the skies of evening are deep and fair; 
 There's a halo of peace where their ashes lie, 
 As the ambient night-winds are hurrying by. 
 
 HI. 
 They are blest in death! for no bitter care 
 
 Will the fevered brow be flushing: 
 They departed while Being was bright and fair, 
 
 While the fountains of Feeling were gushing;
 
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 476 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
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 Then let them sleep 'in their lowly bed;' 
 
 Let Hope be amidst our sorrow; 
 There is peace in the Night of the Early Dead 
 
 It will yield to a glorious morrow ! 
 They will rise like buds from the glebe of spring, ~. 
 When the young birds play on the changeful wing; 
 They faded ere sin could beguile the breast; 
 They will wake in the regions of Endless Rest! 
 
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 OLD SONGS. 477 
 
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 OLD SONGS. 
 
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 OIVK me the songs I loved to hear, 
 In sweet and sunny days of yore ; 
 Which came in gushes to my ear 
 
 
 From lips that breathe them now no more ; 
 From lips, alas! on which the worm, 
 
 In coiled and dusty silence lies, 
 Where many a loved, lamented form 
 
 Is hid from Sorrow's filling eyes ! 
 
 Yes! when those unforgotten lays, 
 
 Come trembling with a spirit- voice, 
 ' . 
 
 I mind me of those early days, 
 
 When to respire was to rejoice: 
 When gladsome flowers and fruitage shone 
 
 Where'er my willing footstep fell ; 
 When Hope's bright realm was all mine own, 
 
 And Fancy whispered, 'All is well.' 
 
 Give me old songs! They stir my heart 
 
 As with some glorious trumpet-tone: 
 Beyond the reach of modern art, 
 
 They rule its thrilling cords alone, 
 Till, on the wings of thought, I fly, 
 
 Back to that boundary of bliss, 
 Which once beneath my childhood's sky 
 
 Embraced a scene of loveliness ! 
 
 Thus, when the portals of name ear 
 
 Those long-remembered lays receive, 
 They seem like guests, whose voices cheer 
 
 My breast, and bid it not to grieve : 
 They ring in cadences of love, 
 
 They tell of dreams now vanished all; 
 Dreams, that descended from above 
 
 Visions, 't is rapture to recall!
 
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 478 MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Give me old songs ! I know not why, 
 
 But every tone they breathe to me 
 Is fraught with pleasures pure and high, 
 
 With honest love or honest glee : 
 They move me, when by chance I hear, 
 
 They rouse each slumbering pulse anew; 
 Till every scene to memory dear 
 
 Is pictured brightly to my view. 
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 I do not ask those sickly lays 
 
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 O'er which affected maidens bend ; 
 Which scented fos are bound to raise, 
 
 Which scented fops are bound to praise,, 
 
 To which dull crowds their homage lend : 
 Give me some simple Scottish song, 
 
 
 
 Or lays, from Erin's distant isle ; 
 Lays that to love and truth belong, 
 And cause the saddest lip to smile ! 
 
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 DEATH OF THE FIRST-BORN. 479 
 
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 DEATH OF THE FIRST-BORN. 
 
 ' AH ! weladay ! most angelike of face, 
 A childe, young in his pure innocence, 
 Tender of limbes, GOD wote full guiltilesse, 
 The goodly faire that lieth here speechelesse. 
 A mouth he has, but wordis hath he none ; 
 Cannot complain, alas ! for none outrage, 
 Ne grutcheth not, but lies here all alone, 
 Still as a lambe, most meke of his visage : 
 What heart of steele could do to him damage, 
 Or suffer him die, beholding the manere, 
 And look benign of his twin eyen clereV 
 
 LYDOATE. 
 
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 YOUNG mother, he is gone! 
 His dimpled cheek no more will touch thy breast ; 
 
 No more the music-tone 
 
 9 Float from his lips, to thine all fondly press'd; 
 His smile and happy laugh are lost to thee : 
 Earth must his mother and his pillow be. 
 
 His was the morning hour, 
 And he had pass'd in beauty from the day, 
 
 A bud, not yet a flower, 
 
 Torn, in its sweetness, from the parent spray ; 
 The death-wind swept him to his soft .repose, 
 As frost, in spring-time, blights the early rose. 
 
 Never on earth again 
 Will his rich accents charm thy listening ear, 
 
 Like some JEolkin strain, 
 Breathing at eventide serene and clear ; 
 His voice is choked in dust, and on his eyes 
 The unbroken seal of peace and silence lies. 
 
 And from thy yearning heart, 
 inmost core was warm with 
 A gladness must depart, 
 And those kind eyes with many tears be dim; 
 
 Whose inmost core was warm with love for him, 
 A gladness must depart, 
 
 While lonely memories, an unceasing train, 
 
 Will turn the raptures of the past to pain.
 
 
 
 
 480 '* MISCELLANEOUS POEMS. 
 
 Yet, mourner, while the day 
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 Rolls like the darkness of a funeral by, 
 
 And hope forbids one ray 
 To stream athwart the grief-discolor'd sky ; 
 There breaks upon thy sorrow's evening gloom 
 A trembling lustre from beyond the tomb. 
 
 'Tis from the better land ! 
 
 There, bathed in radiance that around them springs, 
 Thy loved one's wings expand ; 
 
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 As with the choiring cherubim he sings, 
 
 j AS wim me cnoiring cneruoim ne sings, 
 And all the glory of that GOD can see, 
 Who said, on earth, to children, ' Come to me.' 
 
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 Mother, thy child is bless'd : 
 And though his presence may be lost to thee, 
 
 And vacant leave thy breast, 
 And miss'd, a sweet load from thy parent knee; 
 Though tones familiar from thine ear have pass'd, 
 Thou'lt meet thy first-born with his LORD at last. 
 
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