THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 Destiny and Desire
 
 Destiny and Desire 
 
 Poems Passionate 
 and Perverse 
 
 By Mary/and Watson 
 
 CASINO PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 116 WEST THIRTY-NINTH STREET, NEW YORK 
 
 1908
 
 Copyright. 1908. 
 by Caiino Publishing Company. N<w York
 
 PS
 
 TRYST
 
 I AM waiting here for you. 
 _ Every drop of blood 
 1 hat pulses in my heart 
 Is a flaming torch to light your way 
 Lover Lad, with your Irish eyes, 
 How well I know just what you ll do. 
 Still I am waiting here for you.
 
 TODAY
 
 OMORROW 7 
 
 And Lave you the patience then to wait ? 
 God ! my lips cry for the kisses that are mine, 
 And not tomorrow do I want them, hut today. 
 For who knows if tomorrow s sun shall shine 
 Or \vhere we two shall he who lived today ? 
 I want to watch the last sun die, satisfied. 
 And never know the torture of that cry, 
 "Oh God ! I wasted yesterday and missed my fate !
 
 PROMISE ME
 
 DEAR, you promise me with truth. 
 Like a burning pure white flame. 
 That your life shall be mine 
 As long as love is wortby of its name. 
 
 But, dear, life is not always sunshine. 
 The fire of love fades on the primrose way. 
 And hearts, though meaning to he faithful. 
 Are fated to grow tired of tne play. 
 
 You promise to guard me from life s sorrows, 
 Xo shield me from tne nours of sad regret ; 
 But, dearest, God alone holds that power, 
 Though your love will help me to forget. 
 
 Do not promise me the things that are heyond you. 
 For humanity at best is sadly frail. 
 But promise me to share the heights we can reach 
 And to share compassion for each otber if we fail. 
 
 11
 
 IMMORTAL
 
 COLD blows the wind of chilling doubt 
 And fans the dying light that was my love 
 Into a blaze of angry flame. 
 An, God, why, if Love may die, 
 Should Jealousy and Doubt forever live, 
 To keep a -wretched tryst within my heart 
 At the mention of a faithless -woman s name ? 
 
 13
 
 MOON SONG
 
 A WOMAN rests within my arms, 
 Her eyes heavy-lidded as from languorous sleep, 
 Her red lips pulsing -warm, 
 Tremulous her voice, her kisses sweet. 
 
 opal tints the moon flings down 
 A shimmering garment thin as air 
 That falls across the splendor of her form 
 And twines its jewels in her misty hair. 
 
 Her heart, the home of Passion s god, 
 A palpitating mystery of thrills, 
 Beats close against my breast 
 Its every throh an answer to my will. 
 
 The warm red hlood that gleams 
 
 Through the naked heauty, neath its veil of gold, 
 
 Tells the wondrous secret of her dreams 
 
 \Vhich end in savage love 
 
 The craving of my soul. 
 
 15
 
 LOVE S METAMORPHOSIS
 
 IF I could walk down 
 This -worn old patn witli you, 
 I tmnk its every turning would seem new 
 To me and yet I know it so ty heart, 
 Tnat every pebble seems a part 
 Or some dear memory. 
 
 17
 
 HONOLULU
 
 r OCKED in the arms of the ocean, 
 * Lulled by its passionate song, 
 Kissed by the brazen sun, 
 \Vooed by tbe truant moon. 
 Flirting witb eacb like a light-o -love. 
 You radiant warm Quadroon ! 
 
 Fire and night in your beauty, 
 Flowers clasped to your breast. 
 Flaunting your charms with wanton grace 
 Xo sailor lover or soldier rover, 
 Forgetting in turn eacb mad caress. 
 
 Though your tears may come in a golden shower 
 At the faithless love of the clay s gay noon. 
 You are faithless yourself. Little Isle in the ocean 
 Gay little, sad Quadroon. 
 
 19
 
 LOVE S BLINDNESS
 
 I" O VE came to ber 
 
 J-^ Like a wondrous sbadowed wraitb of spring 
 And wrapped tne world in a mantle 
 Of trembling delights. 
 And tne days might come 
 And tne nights each go 
 For Christ! she loved him so 
 That nothing mattered but the crimson flame 
 And all the world grew dim. 
 
 High above her Heaven and her God, 
 
 She placed her love for him, 
 
 And yet he never knew Love s name. 
 
 For the little uncontented thing he called his soul 
 
 \Vas just too small to know 
 
 That a -woman s heart might break for mm 
 
 Yet Cbnst! She loved bim so. 
 
 21
 
 DISCONTENT
 
 WHY cannot I look mutely into the coming years 
 And still the insistent longing to he free. 
 Forget there are path-ways over dim, far hills. 
 And ships a-sailing over new, strange seas ? 
 
 23
 
 THIS QUESTION I FLING 
 UP TO YOU
 
 IF, as they say, You hold the world 
 In the hollow of Your mighty hand. 
 And each life that gleams there for a while 
 \Vas fashioned and fated at Your own command. 
 
 Then do I come to You not in prayer 
 But only as a weary -woman may. 
 And this question I fling up to You, 
 \Vhy did You put my soul upon this path 
 If it was fate that I should lose my way ? 
 
 How could You never lift a staying hand 
 Or still the lilt of my heart s glad song ; 
 If You placed this passion in my storm-swept soul 
 Then, God, why not help me hear the wrong ? 
 
 25
 
 CONSENT
 
 COME with me into the mystic night. 
 The sun is lost across the great divide. 
 The jeweled splendor of a moon-lit shrine 
 Shall he the wondrous ending of our flight. 
 
 And you shall tenderly he taught 
 
 The touch that waked your soul to fire 
 
 \Vas hut the answer to your breathless sigh ; 
 
 My passion and my strength, 
 
 But the fulfillment of your sweet desire. 
 
 The crimson passion of your -warm, moist lips. 
 
 The promise in your darkening eyes, 
 
 Have won for me a lingering consent 
 
 And hetrayed the secret that your words denied. 
 
 Ah, dear, the harriers are gone 
 That kept our souls from heing one. 
 Turn your face and meet the storm 
 Of my love with willing eyes. 
 
 (Continued on page 29) 
 
 27
 
 CONSENT 
 
 (Continued)
 
 Let me see and feel each thrill 
 
 Xhat rushes from your heart, 
 
 Lingers on your lips, trembles through your arms 
 
 And guides your straying finger tips 
 
 In each wanton passionate caress. 
 
 Sweet woman, yielding with such 
 
 Glad abandon to my eager touch. 
 
 This heaven -we have gained. 
 
 This ecstasy of mingled love and throbbing pain, 
 
 \Vas born in your fair breast 
 
 The hour you chose your destiny 
 
 And answered fate with passion s willing "yes." 
 
 29
 
 MAN S LOVE
 
 YOU gather a rose 
 And feel a queer, glad thrill, 
 Because it s yours to keep 
 Or, better still. 
 
 You may wear it on your heart 
 For passion s one sweet hour. 
 Ana -when its charm is gone, 
 \Vhy, twas only just a flower. 
 
 31
 
 YOU
 
 MEN smile in my dark eyes, 
 Some praise the sun-kissed bloom upon my face. 
 Otters marvel at the beauty of my form. 
 Yet in my heart they nave no place 
 For to you I owe it all. 
 
 You brought my beauty with tte summer Jays, 
 ^kVhen you lingered on tbis path with me ; 
 X hen was born the crimson flush men praise. 
 And my eyes darkened into pools 
 From passion s deepest sea. 
 
 Every sensuous curve that lures 
 
 All this gift of witchery, 
 
 Every sudden lilt of thrilling song 
 
 Came to me in this summer time of mystery ! 
 
 33
 
 I WILL NOT FORGET
 
 TNREST haunts my sorrowing heart, 
 ^^ A chill phantom wrapped in a mantle of despair. 
 That stalks across the threshold where love had life. 
 And wakes the hallowed memories sleeping there. 
 
 The vain night goes its weary way. 
 
 The day comes crimson-crowned after the gloom. 
 
 And yet my anguished soul nor sleeps nor wakes 
 
 At the touch of cool wet dew or sun within the room. 
 
 Just a lethargy of wraith-like hours 
 And little crying sobs of piteous regret 
 That keep your dead love burning like a flame 
 To scorch my soul and shame it to forget! 
 
 35
 
 MAY BE A DIM REGRET
 
 JUST a moment of rapture, 
 A fleeting, sensuous thrill, 
 A aoh and a tit of laughter 
 Your strength and passionate will. 
 The throhhing heat of my heart 
 And, mayhe, a dim regret. 
 That -we danced the wildest measure 
 Of love s sweet minuet. 
 
 37
 
 INNOCENCE
 
 T AUGHING lass, looking into 
 
 * * the soul of me, 
 ^A^itn innocent serenity, 
 Does no understanding bring surmise, 
 Or no quest of love surprise 
 You into deep solemnity ? 
 
 39
 
 FAITHLESS WOMAN I LOVE
 
 GIVE me a rope of your night-black hair 
 To coil in my empty hands ; 
 1 11 weave a chain 
 Or its wondrous length 
 To strangle the light from your lustrous eyes, 
 
 \Voman I love with all my strength. 
 Treacherous woman whom I despise. 
 
 41
 
 A WOMAN S WAY
 
 HER. kisses lingered on the dear lips of a lad, 
 Her turning mouth kindled all the sleeping fire. 
 That -waited tut tne touch of passion s flame 
 To scorch his soul with anguish-mad desire. 
 She watched, with half-slumhering eyes, 
 The torture of her powers at their play; 
 Then gave herself with all her passionate soul 
 And that is a woman s way. 
 
 43
 
 MEMORIES
 
 I HAVE lost myself in a dream 
 That holds your last caress, 
 Like the breath of a flower s perfume 
 After the flower is dead. 
 
 The tones of your voice in my heart 
 Are vihrations of deepest love. 
 Like the thrill in the strings of a harp 
 \Vhen a master hand touches a chord. 
 
 The kiss that you left on my lips 
 
 Is a flame like an altar light 
 
 That may dim in the noon s white glare, 
 
 But scorches the wings of thought 
 
 In the hush of the silent night. 
 
 Your love is a golden loom 
 That has spun a web of dreams 
 To cover the cold hare room 
 
 e memory sits and -weaves. 
 
 45
 
 SONG
 
 E-T me look deep in your sea blue eyes : 
 Let me -warm your reel lips 
 \VitK tKc passion of mine. 
 Kiss you and crush you, O, maiden fair! 
 My soul aflame \vitn its mad desire 
 Come, take wnat is yours. 
 You kindled tne fire ! 
 
 47
 
 DEFIANCE
 
 OH God ! why should I grope my weary way 
 Afraid to firmly place my feet. 
 For fear of stepping on some creed of Thine, 
 Or breaking some command I should obey? 
 And God, how couldst Thou ]udge me 
 If I should tread upon them both. 
 Should cast Thy word off and be free 
 To walk erect upon the path I chose ? 
 For it was Thou who made me as I am 
 And left me with Temptation hand in hand. 
 
 49
 
 DIVORCED
 
 JUST one last tour of silent gray 
 Between the -wordless night 
 And the fading sun. 
 The clouds robed in a vestment 
 Like a still and aged nun 
 That comes to pray 
 
 \Vhen tne day is done, 
 
 i 
 
 The hour you used to come at candle light 
 And watch a tired child at play 
 Then kiss its tiny hands and one by one 
 Its sort white garments lay, 
 Upon a little, worn, red chair 
 vVhile baby lips caressed 
 Or murmured fragments of a sleepy prayer. 
 
 (Continued on page 53) 
 
 51
 
 DIVORCED 
 
 (Continued)
 
 You are so far away 
 The apace between us two 
 
 May border on eternity. 
 Your quick glad step 
 
 Never comes to -wake the lethargy 
 Of dumb submissive pain 
 
 That lives like a coward in my heart 
 
 Afraid to show its grief 
 Or call your name. 
 
 The hours crowd each other 
 
 Into bitter years 
 And yet there comes back day by day 
 
 The memory of an agonized "good bye. 
 \Ve went our unforgiving -ways 
 
 Our eyes scorched with unshed tears, 
 Our lips a lie. 
 
 53
 
 AFTER OMAR
 
 OTHOU wno woman didst devise 
 And gavest ner all tne passions of a man. 
 How canst Tnou in Tny soul despise 
 Her lor the weakness Tnou didst plan ? 
 
 55
 
 ONE WOMAN S PRAYER
 
 NO\V, Christ, I am satisfied ; 
 Every law my nature knows is still. 
 Every cry my heart Las known so long 
 Is sleeping in this hour I nave crossed Your will. 
 
 Judge me deeply and place upon my soul 
 
 A letter red as scarlet flame. 
 
 I ask no mercy at the hand of God ; 
 
 I walk light-hearted, radiant in my shame. 
 
 Do not turn your eyes gently away. 
 Trying to forgive this one breathless night. 
 Instead, listen to my heart s ecstasy of thanks 
 That my soul was horn to know these God-given 
 deep delights. 
 
 57
 
 TOO LATE
 
 TONG ago wnen life -was new 
 
 -L/ And tne "little-girl-look" 
 
 Still lingered in my eyes 
 
 WLy did you not come to me 
 
 Like tne Knight in olden books 
 
 And make me yours 
 
 Before tne world nad made me wise? 
 
 59
 
 SUCCESS
 
 SUMMER breezes fanned his cradle 
 (Little fair-haired baby boy) 
 Fanned him gently while they sang him 
 Joyous, winsome lullabies. 
 And the lingering breath of Genius 
 Kissed tne baby s sleeping eyes. 
 
 \Vhen nis -wondering eyes awakened 
 Conscious of tne sweet caress, 
 He followed its elusive whisper 
 Over trails of dim, far Life 
 Down tne valley of deepest Sorrow 
 Around tne turnings of sweet Delight. 
 
 So Genius beckoned nim to Manhood, 
 Gave him little, maddening smiles 
 Threw him kisses along tne pathway. 
 And all a-thrill to ner mating call. 
 He tore tne barriers down between them 
 And, clasped to bis heart 
 Sbe gave bim all. 
 
 61
 
 A LITTLE FRIENDSHIP SONG
 
 MY soul is all a-listen 
 For tlie littlest word you say, 
 
 My eyes are all a-glisten 
 
 \Vnen you smile 
 
 For your friendship is a gladsome thing. 
 
 That dearly came my way, 
 
 After such a very long and lonesome while! 
 
 63
 
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