THE 
 
 PARSON'S HORN-BOOK. 
 
 PART 11. 
 
 COMET LITERARY AND PATRIOTIC CLUB. 
 
 Nos numerus sumus et fruges consumore nati. 
 
 Horace. 
 
 Here's a jolly set of us, 
 
 Well fed Pahsons t ! 
 
 Free Tkaxsi.atiov. 
 
 ■ Quid noil mortalia pectora cog-is 
 
 Auri SACRA fames ? 
 
 Vino 1 1.. 
 
 Oh ! " SACRED famine" for accursed gold, 
 How hast thou cased in steel the human breast 
 Against the voice of Pity! 
 
 Parson M'Clintock's version of t fie .'Encid, pii/ilished at 
 " Nem'TOwnbarry," June 18, 1831, print ji'a 10,?. .' / ' 
 
 DUBLIN : 
 
 PRINTED AND SOLD BY BROWNE AND SHEEHAN, 
 
 AT THE COMET OmCE, 
 
 NO. 10, D'OLIER-S'PK I:ET. 
 
 1831.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 The Church that God built 1 
 
 The Parable of the Twenty-two Mitres 9 
 
 Paddy and the Bishop : an Ecclesiastical Pastoral 15 
 
 The Third Epistle of Peter 27 
 
 The Patlander and his Burden of Sanctity 37 
 
 The Young Parson's Dream 43 
 
 The Lay of a Layman 49 
 
 Time at a stand 53 
 
 Song of Lucifer 59 
 
 Erasmus's Echo 65 
 
 Scenes and Sketches from Ecclesiastical Life 79 
 
 State of the Kingdom of Babylon under the Reign of 
 
 Neriglissor 87 
 
 The Poor Bishop's Epistle for Relief to the Irish Secretary 
 
 of State 115 
 
 Parson Firebrand 121 
 
 The Parson's Address to the Yeomen 127 
 
 Appendix: — A Buckthorn for the Curates and Small-Fry 
 
 of the " Established" 133
 
 THE 
 
 CHURCH THAT GOD BUILT, 
 
 Let the Pray'r-house be purged from the tellers of gold. 
 And the cooing of doves yet remaining unsold. 
 Unless late preferment has tempered your zeal 
 To that prudence which bids you those faults to conceal. 
 To your fast then, ye Clergy— the Bishop will mourn 
 For the sunshiny days which will never return ; 
 When the flesh pots of Egypt gave each man his fill. 
 And the Church was no more than — Hotel dc Famillc, 
 
 Stray Leap prom a isitation Uook,
 
 THE 
 
 CHURCH THAT GOD BUILT. 
 
 This is the Church that God built.(l) 
 
 This is the Food (2) 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 fl) The Heavens declare the gflory of God, and the firinanient shevv- 
 eth his handy work. — Psalms xix. 1. 
 
 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer : my God, 
 my strength, in whom 1 will trust ; my buckler, and the horn of my sal- 
 vation, nud my high tower. — /did. xviii. 1. 
 
 (2) And the angel which I saw stand upon the sea, and upon the earth, 
 lifted up his hand to Heaven. And he had in his hand a little book 
 open : and he set his right foot upon the sea, and his left on the earth. 
 And 1 took the little book out of the angel's hand, and ate it up ; and it 
 was in my moutli sweet as honey, — flpi-pladon x. 5, 2, 10.
 
 lllj; nilMltll IIIAl (.0\) BUILT 
 
 This is the Thief destroyed the Food,(3; 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is the Book(4) 
 
 Exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church tliat God built. 
 
 This is the Crew (5). 
 Assailed the Book, 
 
 (3) The Pastors transgressed against mc, and the Prophots prophesied 
 by Baal, and walited after things that do not profit. As a cage is full of 
 birds, so is their houses full of deceits; therefore they are become great 
 and waxen rich. They are waxen fat, they shine; yea, (Aey overpass 
 the DEEDS of the wiCLzn.— Jeremiah ii & v. 
 
 (^) And they covet fields and take them hy violence ; therefore thus 
 saith the Lord : Behold, against this family do I devise an evil from 
 which you shall not remove your necAs. Neither shall ye go haughtily, 
 forthe time is evil. IN THAT DAY SHALL ONE TAKE UP A 
 PARABLE AGAINST YOU (!!!)- 7T/fV./<. ii. 
 
 (■'■>) There is a voice of the howlingof the.Snn:rHERDs,/nr their c, lory
 
 THE CHURCH THAT GOD BUILT. 
 
 That exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is the Bull (6) 
 
 That gored the Crew, 
 
 That assailed the Book, 
 
 That exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is the Club (7) 
 That trained the Bull, 
 That gored the Crew, 
 That assailed the Book, 
 
 isspoiled, A voice of the roaring of young lions, for the pride of Jordan 
 is spoiled. Thus saith the Lord my God, feed the flock of the slaugh- 
 ter; whose possessors slay them and hold themselves not guilti/, and 
 they that sell them say. Blessed be the 7iame of the Loup, for I am 
 RICH. (! I !) — Zecheriah xi. 
 
 (0) Ye have plowed wickedness ; ye have reaped iniquity; ye liave 
 eaten the fruits of your lies : because thou didst trust in thy way, in the 
 multitude of thy mighty men. Therefore shall a tumult arise among thy 
 people, and all thy fortresses shall be destroyed. — Hosea x. 
 
 (7) Shall not all these take up A PARABLE against him, and a 
 taimting Pkovkrb against Jiim, and say to him: ff^oe to him that in- 
 ereaseth thal\\n\v» is not \\\%':—nabal<l>nl< \\,
 
 Ill i: I III i:( II I II V I <.oi) BUILT. 
 
 That f\|)i»setl tin- I'liiiM, 
 
 That tlostroycd thi- Food, 
 
 That led the Church that dod liuilt. 
 
 Tins is the Work (8) 
 
 Provoked the Club, 
 
 To train the Bull, 
 
 That gored the Crew, 
 
 That assailed the Book, 
 
 That exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is the Parson all shaven and shorn, (9) 
 That left the peasantry tattered and torn, 
 
 (8) As troops of robbers wait for a man, so the company of Priests 
 murder in thoivay by fonsent. — Hosca vi. 
 
 And there is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcases ; and 
 their is none end of their corpses ; they stumble upon their corpses. — 
 Nahuin iii. 
 
 (9) Why dost thou shew me iniquity and cause me to behold griev- 
 ance ? for spoiling and violence arc before me : and there are that raise 
 up strife and contention. Therefore the law is slackened, awA judg- 
 ment doth never go forth : [as at Castlepollabd and Newtowk- 
 BAURv!] for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore 
 
 WRONG JIIIUMrNT P ROLF.EDETII . — I t(tlj(th liulx 1.
 
 THE CHURCH THAT GOD BUILT, 
 
 With M'orlv about tithes from night to morn, 
 
 And provoked the Club 
 
 To train the Bull, 
 
 That gored the Crew, 
 
 That assailed the Book, 
 
 That exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is poor Pat with his famous Buckthorn (10) 
 
 To trounce the Parson all shaven and shorn, 
 
 That left the peasantry tattered and torn, 
 
 With his fighting about tithes from night to mornj 
 
 That provoked the Club 
 
 To train the Bull, 
 
 That gored the Crew, 
 
 That assailed the Book, 
 
 That exposed the Thief, 
 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 This is the Farmer with a plentiful Barn,(ll) 
 Maintaining poor Pat and his famous Buckthorn, 
 
 (10) Ami I will restore to thee tiic years tliat the lonist hath eaten. — 
 Jool iii. 
 
 (11) Th'Hi shalt briny; forth all the titho of thine increase the ^ftIne
 
 (IIK (IltMtril IHM (iOI) ui'ii/r. 
 
 I\)r irouiu'iiii,^ ilic i'aixm all shavt'ii and ^liorii, 
 TliJiC left the peasantry tattered and torn, 
 With Ins fiij^htinc^ abont tillies from nit^lit (<> morn. 
 That |)rov()ked the Clnh 
 To train the Bull, 
 That fifored the Crew, 
 That assailed the Book. 
 That exposed the Thiet, 
 That destroyed the Food, 
 That fed the Church that God built. 
 
 year, and shall lay it up within thy gates. And thv Lc\itc, and tfip 
 stranger, and the fatherless and the widow which are within (hy gates, 
 shall come, and tthall eat and be satisfied, — Deut. xiv.
 
 THE 
 
 PARABLE 
 
 THE TWENTY-TWO MITRES. 
 
 What creeping crawling things arc these whose slime 
 So taints this Eden with its filthy trail, 
 That nought may flourish where it tracks their way ? 
 Bi.ACK Slugs, they are, foul, loathsome to the sight. 
 And harmless though they seem, yet most repulsive ? 
 But in the dark they work — devouring all 
 That Nature yields to strew the path of life 
 With flowrets, fruits, and loveliness their spoil. 
 
 The REPTitES ofEdkn, an ttnpubUihcd Poem.
 
 THE 
 
 PARABLE 
 
 THE TWENTY-TWO MITRES. 
 
 1,2, 3, An Emerald is set in the Sea by the Lord God, bvt 
 the wickedness of man destroyeth its lustre. 4, 5, 6, The 
 Island is infested with Locusts and Black Slugs, and the 
 people perish of hunger. 7, 8, 9, The Lord moved to com- 
 passion sendeth a Schoolmaster abroad, who adviseth the 
 multitude. 10, 11, 12, The Schoolmaster conrerseth with 
 the multitude. 13, 14, 15, 16, Sendeth them for a Basket 
 of Mitres. 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, Feedeth them with the 
 Basket of Mitres. Their gratitude to God is viore accept- 
 able than the hypocrisy of the Black Shgs. 
 
 1. There was a certain Island hi the broad sea with 
 its back turned to Britain and its lace to the west 3 and 
 it was a pleasant land, set like an emerald in the ocean, 
 and very beautiful to look upon : 
 
 2. It was a land which the Lord had favoured in the 
 creation of all things ; and had set apart as a gem in 
 the diadem of Christendom. 
 
 3. But behold ! his creature man, to whom he had 
 committed the stewardship of that Island, became way- 
 ward and perverse, and would not suft'or it to remain 
 the Paradise tliat God liad made it. 
 
 4. And the whole I?laud became overrun witli locusts
 
 12 IIIK J" A 11 AH IK OK 
 
 ,111(1 lii.ACK Si.uiJs, N\l»icli (Icvourod ii|> all the i»n){luce 
 thereof, and Ut't the Pooii, destitute, miked, iind famish- 
 in ir. 
 
 ."). And the poor cried with a loud voice, saying, 
 " Lord ! we perish !" 
 
 0. Now the Lord heard the cries of the Poor, and 
 his Avrath waxed tierce against the Locusts and Black 
 Slugs of that Island. 
 
 7. And he inspired tlie Poor with knowledge, and 
 sent a " Schoolmaster abroad," to instruct them in the 
 wisdom of their strength. 
 
 8. And the " Schoolmaster" called the multitude to- 
 gether, and took them up on the side ot a hill, and said 
 unto them : 
 
 9. " Look ye out upon the land which the Lord God 
 liatli created for you, and is it not a land flowing with 
 milk and honey, wherein the fruits of the earth yield 
 abundance — yea, sufficient for the inhabitants of other 
 countries besides its own, — and wherefore do ye mur- 
 mur ?" 
 
 10. And they answering said, " We are but the la- 
 bourers in the land, and when we have produced the 
 fruits of the earth, lo ! the Locusts and the Black 
 Slugs devour them all, and ave perish from hunger." 
 
 H. And the " Sclioolmaster" said unto them, " Fools ! 
 know ye not that the master must feed his ox, and that 
 the Locust should not eat till ye are fed ? Know ye not 
 also that the Black Slugs were only permitted by God 
 to claim for their own use a third of the gleanings of 
 the harvest, and commanded to distribute the remain- 
 ing two-thirds to the maimeti, the destitute, the widow, 
 the orphan, and the blind ?" 
 
 12. And they answering stid, " Lo ! these things 
 they have not done, and behold we perish !" 
 
 13. Now the " Schoolmaster" was wrath with the 
 Black Slugs when he had heard these words^ and he
 
 THE TWENTY-TWO MITRES. 13 
 
 lift up his voice and said, " As the Lord liveth, those 
 Black Slugs shall repent of their iniquities." 
 
 14. And he commanded the multitude saying, " Go 
 forth and let no man stay you, and seek out the gaudy 
 snail shells of those Black Slugs, and bring unto me 
 the twenty and two mitres that thou wilt find therein 1'* 
 
 15. And they answering said, "What will twenty- 
 and-two mitres be among so many ? lo ! they will only 
 fit twenty-and-two of our heads !" 
 
 16. But he reproved them sharply, saying, *' Fools, 
 see ye not that the evil would remain if you were to 
 wear the mitres, and that your hunger would not be 
 abated ? bring them to me, straightway, and I will 
 teach thee to dispose of them." 
 
 17. And the multitude departed and sought out the 
 snail shells of the Black Slugs, and took thereout the 
 twenty-and-two mitres, and brought them in a basket 
 to the hill side. 
 
 18. And the "Schoolmaster who was abroad," seeing 
 the incredulity of the multitude, took the basket aside, 
 and having counted the number who were famishing 
 from hunger, he found they were three thousand thou- 
 sand souls, and that there were but twenty-and-two 
 mitres to feed them all. 
 
 19. And he took the mitres and opened them, and be- 
 hold ! he found that they were more than sufficient to 
 maintain the \vhole multitude, and he rejoiced exceed- 
 ingly. 
 
 20. And he said unto the multitude, "The Lord hath 
 been good unto his servant, and hath enabled him, out 
 of these mitres, to produce food and raiment for ye all, 
 to the end of your lives. 
 
 21. " And lo ! these twenty-and-two mitres arc turned 
 into three thousand thousand acres of land flowing with 
 milk and honey, and abounding in the fruits of the 
 earth.
 
 14 IHK TAHABl-K OV, SlC. 
 
 22. " And each of ye may ttike an acrr thereof, ami 
 the pro(luee of the same ; and may henceforward live 
 without fear of famishing, and go to rest imder the 
 shade of your own fruit tree; for the Lord hath heen 
 good unto his servant, and hath permitted him to dis- 
 trihiite those things." 
 
 *23. And the muUitudc rejoiced, and returned tlianks 
 luito God in hymns of thanksgiving and praise, which 
 rose in incense to Heaven more grateful to the Lord 
 than all the hypocrisy of the Black Slugs from the 
 heginning of the world to the present day.
 
 PADDY AND THE BISHOP : 
 
 ECCLESIASTICAL PASTORAL. 
 
 Rex Anius, rex idem hominuiti ****** que sacerdos, 
 *********** 
 Quern sequimur ? qu6ve ire jubes ( ubi ponere sedes! 
 
 Virgil, JEneid iii, 80 & 83. 
 
 " Right Rev. Sires in God" whose lives display 
 A generous pity for the suffering poor, 
 That shews the blest effects of " Church and State," 
 What shall the peasant do ! and whither go, 
 Driven from his little farm to pay your tithes ? 
 
 Free Translation, by CaptainGorden,
 

 
 PADDY AND THE BISHOP ; 
 
 ECCLESIASTICAL PASTORAL, 
 
 Imitated from the First Eclogue of Virgil. 
 
 SCENE. 
 
 A Laio-e&tablished " Successor of the Apostles'^ and his 
 beautiful Spouse seated to enjoy the cool of the evening 
 in a splendid apartment, the large glass folding -doors of 
 which displaying a most extensive and delightful prospect of 
 sea and land, are opened to admit the ''fanning breezes''^ 
 for the refreshment of the Holi/ Pair. A table profusely 
 furnished with various meats, liqueures, wines and fruits, is 
 laid before his sanctified Lordship and his " better half;" 
 on tvhich is also placed a large money-bag, cojitaining a 
 renewal fine of ten thousand pounds. Near the table 
 stands, in the person of Paddy, a lamentable sample of the 
 tnisery to which the Irish peasantry are reduced by their 
 parliamentary priesthood and absentee aristocracy . At a 
 distance a number of j^eelers and yeomanr;/ are observed 
 seizing for tithe the cattle of the poor in spite of the 
 lamentations of their owners, and in some places reli- 
 giously bulleting, bayoneting, sabreing, and riding over 
 crowds of men, women and children, by way of teaching 
 them to submit zvith christian piety and resignation to the 
 legal demands of " Holy Church." Finally, several weep- 
 ing fanilics of kalfnaJivAV avxsy?, are seen in another 
 
 D
 
 18 rvODY AM) rilK KISHOr-. 
 
 diiectiou, adoptiini t/u only cff'iclual mtthod of cscaptrif 
 from the insatiuhlc exuctiotis of ghostly avarice, by ewii- 
 ijrutiiiij from their yiativc land. 
 
 PADDY. (1) 
 
 WiiiLK you, my Lord, partake of sumptuous fare. 
 
 And roll your body iii an easy chair; 
 
 Puff the swoH'n check, imbibe the rosy wine. 
 
 In all the luxury of a sound Divine ; 
 
 Groan with distention of th' oerloaded tripes. 
 
 And dread no enemy except the gripes; (2) 
 
 Gorge on a rich satiety of beef, 
 
 And hope the heaven of the repentant thief : 
 
 My little cabbage garden I must leave, (3) 
 
 While you the tenth of all that's there receive. 
 
 / quit my cabin — i/on, around your hearth. 
 
 Hear the loud echoes from the voice of mirth ; 
 
 While tender dalliance oft the hour employs. 
 
 As Amaryllis soothes with syren joys. (4) 
 
 NOTES AND ILLUSTIIATIONS, 
 
 (1) As some snarling Church-critic may ask "What probability ia 
 thtTC that a common Irish labourer could speak as Paddy does in the 
 text?" we answer, that it is easy for the sake of verisimilitude to sup- 
 pose " poor Paudeen" to be a native of Kerry, where, Dr. Smyth (in 
 his History of that County) tells us that even sixty years ago, during 
 full glory of the anti-education Penal Code, classical knowledge ex- 
 Innded itself "even to a fault" amongst the lowest orders j and Sir 
 John Carr, an Englishman, in his Tour through that County, as late as 
 1805 or 6, mentions that he met horse-boys there who understood Latin 
 perfectly. 
 
 (2) The joy of the hypocrite is but for a moment. 
 
 His meat in his boicels is turned, it is the gall of aspa within him. 
 Because he hath oppressed and forsaken the roou ♦•*•••» 
 Surely he shall not feel quietness in his belly, — Job, xx. c, 5, 14^ 
 19&20. 
 
 (3) Dulcia linquimus arva. 
 
 (4) p'ormoiam rcsonarc doces Amaryllida silvas.
 
 PADDY AMD THE BISHOP. lU 
 
 BISHOP. 
 
 Ohj Paddy, know'st thou not, indulgent Heaven 
 These hours of ease hatli to thy Pastor given. (5) 
 The Holy Bible saith, (and who'll deny it?) 
 That they who serve the altar must live by it. 
 So, for the sake of him who sent me, Pat, 
 (You know 'tis right a Bishop should be fat) 
 For HIS dear sake, moreover, 'tis the law, 
 Thy tender lambs shall stain my holy maw.(6) 
 If you, for sins, on dry potatoes live. 
 Oh, Paddy, I will pray — may Heaven forgive. 
 Nor grieve, while starving, I enjoy satiety, 
 I'll send you Bibles new from the society. 
 Heed not the perishable goods of pelf; 
 Be righteous — I am righteousness itself; 
 And that you may for ever righteous be. 
 Hunger and thirst for righteousness and me. 
 Then, as your cattle through the valleys stray, 
 I'll send my herd to take the tenth away. 
 On Sunday come, (but tease me not for alms) 
 We'll chant on rural pipes the holy psalms. (7) 
 
 PADDY. 
 
 With all that plunder gives I see thee blest. 
 Nor envy fires, but wonder fills my breast ; 
 While " agitation" (8) spreads a reasoning band. 
 That " read, recite, and madden through the land." 
 Behold, the Proctor enters on my ground. 
 My sheep and goats are driven to the pound. (9) 
 
 NOTES ANIl ItLLSTRATIONS. 
 
 (5) O Meeliboee Deus nobis haec otift fecit. 
 
 (6) Illius aram 
 
 Soppe tencr nostris ab ovilibus imhuet agnus. 
 
 (7) Ule mcas errare hoves ut cernis et ipsiim 
 Ludere qus veileni calamo permisit a^resti. 
 
 (8) NoH equidem invideo minor niajis undique toli> 
 Usque adeo turbatur agris. 
 
 (9) En ipse capellas 
 
 Protenus jeger ago
 
 ill rAl>l)\ AM) rillC IJIMJOI'. 
 
 lUiifUtli tin* cold brow of a ruu:i;:od rock, 
 
 She, iny best Ijopc of all ///// faniisb'd llofk, 
 
 Lately brought forth, \vliik< crirs assail'd my cars, 
 
 " Tlu' fhild of misery, bapti/.'d in tears, "(10) 
 
 Amid the MJiistlinj^ Mind, the j)ierciiiij storm. 
 
 No roof to shelter, and no hearth to warm ; 
 
 From house, from home, from humble comforts driven. 
 
 To feed the pam])ered on the way to Heaven ; 
 
 AVith no sweet solace in the hour of need ; 
 
 Oh ! say what God this destiny decreed ?(1I) 
 
 BISHOP. 
 
 The Lord of Christian charity, forsooth. 
 
 Who wills that I should feed your souls with truth j 
 
 That I a true humility shouk] preach, 
 
 But you alone must by example teach ; 
 
 While you must here your village hut forego, 
 
 To bear the pangs of poverty and woe, 
 
 I'll drive in full episcopal renown. 
 
 To taste the splendid pleasures of the town. 
 
 How high above these smoky hovels rise 
 
 Its gorgeous mansions tow'ring to the skies ; 
 
 There, if great things we may compare with small. 
 
 As far my palace doth out-top them all. 
 
 As doth the figure of a plump Divine, 
 
 Compared with such a meagre form as thine. (12) 
 
 PADDY. 
 
 But, holy Prelate, wherefore didst thou roam ?(13) 
 What could'st thou seek while thou hadst flocks at home? 
 
 NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 (10) Spem gregis ah ! silijce in nuda connixa reliquit. 
 
 (11) Sed tamen elle Deus qui lit da Tityre nobis ? 
 
 (12) Sic parvis coniponere magna solebam 
 
 V«ruin h*e tantum alias inter caput extulit urbes 
 Quantum lenta solent inter viburna cupressi. 
 
 (13) Et qua tanta fiiit Roman tibi causa videndi ? 
 
 When Archbishop Laud, in the reign of Charles I. introduced several 
 ceremonieb and inquisitor^ enactments of the Catholic religion into the
 
 PADDY AND THK BISHOl'. 21 
 
 BISHOP. 
 
 Preferment, which, although by far too late, 
 
 Rais'd me, at length, to this exalted state ; 
 
 My thirst for patronage I now appease, 
 
 And crown my days with sacerdotal ease. (14) 
 
 While yet a country curate, I confess, 
 
 I learn'd to pity kindred wretchedness. 
 
 When chilling poverty myself could bow, 
 
 I felt the woes that you complain of now. 
 
 In ancient times contentment bloom'd serene. 
 
 Amid the pastors of the rural scene. 
 
 No costly luxuries in days of old 
 
 Requir'd our pockets to be filled with gold ; 
 
 Nor milk, nor cheese were sent to market then. 
 
 Till lordly Bishops turned to dairymen. (15) 
 
 PADDY. 
 
 But, oh ! most spotless Pastor, sanctified 
 Beyond all measure, so devoid of pride. 
 Though by thy princely wealth, to kings allied 
 
 J 
 
 NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 Church of England, a lady of rank connected with the Devonshire family 
 turned Papist, and being asked the reason for doing so by the holy man, 
 she wittily replied : " My Lord, as I saw you travelling as fast you 
 could to Rome, I thought I might as well get there before you. " The 
 decreasing members of the church of bayonets in Ireland seem to be 
 much of the same opinion, for as they behold the Parsons adhering with 
 more inflexible obstinacy every day to the worst — we mean the yjfCM- 
 niary errors of the old Church, which those sanctified characters profess 
 to have reformed, the benighted laymen tiiink they may as well over- 
 take their law-established Reverences in their rapid journey to the 
 '•eternal city," and have accordingly, by way of getting there by a 
 fthortcut, become mere "deluded Papists." 
 
 (14) Libertes quae sera tamen respexit t;je>'/e»j. 
 
 (15) Quamovis 
 
 Pinguis et ingratae premuntur caseus urbi, 
 Noniinquam gravis jere domum mihi dextra redibat. 
 
 Among the number of dairies, in a land justly described by honest 
 O'Halloran as "flowing with milk and honey," those of the Bishop ot 
 Kildare are not the least inconsiderable, though we hear there are some 
 profane wits who presume to call them mere milk and water eoncer/ts.
 
 oo 
 
 IVNDDV AMJ I HI', msiioi'. 
 
 M()>l I(t'\ ori'iid I'ri'latt', iiiii,^lit an liiinihU' clouii 
 Ask ithy \\vv\ thou ambitii)US of tlu* to\\ii r 
 
 HISHOP. 
 
 \N'liat ! was 1 tlion to live a holy slave, 
 
 Ami tnidii^o out life from pulpits to the i^rave ? 
 
 All ! no, kind Heaven is never so ausj)icious, 
 
 As in the town to grant a Parson's wislics.(16) 
 
 Year after year I souc^ht my patron there, 
 
 W hile a<lulation l)ly'd the constant prayer ;(17) 
 
 Till now no longer able to withst."xnd — 
 
 " Go forth," he said, " and enter on tlje land ;" 
 
 " Oh ! pious man, pray be persuaded now, 
 
 " To let me place a mitre on thy brow ; 
 
 " Oh ! ever sacred, ever pure Divine, 
 
 " 'Tis Heaven ordains it, and the See is thine." 
 
 Thus spoke th' arch-prclate, whose persuasive words 
 
 Would from the bushes almost coax the birds ; 
 
 With imjiosition did his hands infuse 
 
 The holy spirit — hoM' could I refuse ? 
 
 At length I yielded to the Lord's decree, 
 
 (The Lord Archbishop's !) and possessed the See. 
 
 PADDY. 
 
 Happy old boy, then all remains to thee, 
 With nothing left but wretchedness for me. 
 
 NOTES AND ILLL'STBATIONS. 
 
 (16) Quid facerem ? neque me servitio cxire licebat, 
 Ncc tarn pr.xsentes alibi cognoscere Divos. 
 
 The Hebrew word " Efo/iim," which literally means the same as 
 Vircfil's " Difos," is often applied in Scripture to princes and rulers, or 
 what we would call in modern times "men in power," through whom 
 we ail know the " Holt/ Spirit" chiefly appoints dignitaries to watch 
 over the S01//S, and to collect, for the "interest of religion," a large 
 portion of the tnonei/ belonging to the members of his Majesty's and 
 every other Church. We have, therefore, taken permission to fami- 
 liarize the " Diros" of the Latin part into the word " Patron," for the 
 benefit of our English readers. 
 
 (IT) — — quotannis 
 
 Bis senos cui nostra dies altaria fumant.
 
 PADDY AND THE BISHOP. 23 
 
 The "swinish multitude" are driven like hogs. 
 
 To rocky mountains, and to barren bogs; 
 
 While thou'rt secure in sanctity and sloth, 
 
 (How well can " Holy Church" combine them both,) 
 
 With no new doctrines to infest thy flocks. 
 
 Nor Popish Priests to shake the orthodox. 
 
 Happy old boy, in sweet repletion laid, 
 
 "Mid sacred fountains bubbling through the shade ; 
 
 Hyblean murmurs lull thee into bliss. 
 
 While "dreaming of another benefice;" 
 
 Thy pigeons o'er thee form a cooing group, 
 
 And the soft turtle charms thee — with her soup !{18) 
 
 BISHOP. 
 
 Sooner may Bishops fatten upon air, 
 
 Or take the poor from " Providence's care ;"(19) 
 
 NOTES AXD ILLUSTBATIOXS. 
 
 (18) Fortunate senex, erg^o tua rnra manebnnt : 
 
 [^i tihi magna satis!] quamvis lapis omnia nudxs, 
 Lim.osoqxte palus obducat pascua junco ; 
 Non instiela graves tentabiint pabxila Jatas, 
 Nee mala vicini pecoris vnntagia hedent. 
 Fortunate senex, hie inter Jlumina nota, 
 Et roNTES s AC9.Qs,f rigiis (-uptabis opauum. 
 Hinc (ibi, qute semper vicino ah limite sepes 
 Hyblceis apibus floreni depasta salicti, 
 
 Sjepe levi somnum suadebit inire susurro. 
 
 • • • • • 
 
 Nee tamen iuterea rauc^, tua cura,palumbes, 
 
 Nee gemere aeria eessabit turlur ab ulmo! 
 "Do you know how / would construe "Fortunate senex? "ex- 
 claimed a wag of our acquaintance in the Comet Office. "No," 
 replied the by-standers. " Well then," cried he, " I'll tell you : I'd say, 
 oh, ivAat a Fortunatus of an old fellow ! for," continued he, " no one 
 resembles that wealthy personage so much as a law Bishop, since, his 
 purse is stooked with gold whenever he puts his fingers into it I .' 
 
 (19) Ante levesergo pascentur in rethere cervi, &c. 
 " God cannot love (says Blunt with tearless eyes) 
 " The wretch he starves" — and piously denies :
 
 SM r\l)l)V NNl) IIIK UlslIOP. 
 
 Or Popish swains, ejected (Voiii their hiiuis, 
 Expect assistance from a Parson's hands, 
 Than I fori^et the (hiy my lips said "Nolo 
 Kpiscopari," Mliile my heart said " Volo." 
 
 rADOY. 
 
 But \VK must wander to some distant shore; 
 
 Behold the scenes of early youth no more ; 
 
 Leave the sweet culture of our native soil, 
 
 In foreign lands to ply the sultry toil. 
 
 Of friends, of country, all we love bereft, 
 
 To dwell with anguish on the home we left ; 
 
 Where calm contentment blcss'd each rural scene ; 
 
 Though humble, happy, and though poor, serene. 
 
 With none at home to pity or befriend. 
 
 To England, oft our friendless way we bend, 
 
 When smiling nature o'er our fertile fields 
 
 The golden burden of the harvest yields ; 
 
 In lands remote on strangers' bounty thrown. 
 
 To seek for masters kinder than our own. 
 
 INIust I no more behold my native spot. 
 
 The crops that ripen'd round my turf-built cot ? 
 
 Shall Orange yeomen devastate our plains. 
 
 To swell a Church-man's avaricious gains ? 
 
 Our toil, the pomp of mitred cant supplies, 
 
 Oh ! see what woes from civil discord rise. 
 
 NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 But the good Bishop, witli a meeker air, 
 
 ^4dmits, and leaves tbem, Providence s care ! 
 
 Pope. 
 
 It was, doubtless, this holy reliance on the bounty of a generous Pro- 
 vidence to maintain the poor, that induced our pure and apostolic 
 Church of Newtownbarry and Skibbereen to take the " qiiarta 
 pars," or fourth part of the tithes on which the sick and destitute were 
 always supported before the Reformation, by what Parsons charitably 
 designate the *' damnable and idolatrous Churrh of Rome.' Oh! 
 Parjon^, Parsons, this pious Billingsgate is now ^tatc.
 
 PADDY AND THE BISHOP. Ja 
 
 Yes, wretched peasant, dig thy little field. 
 
 Its furrows sow, then, mark for whom they yield ; 
 
 Whose the Jirst-fndts that should thy cares repay ? 
 
 Whose griping hand shall grasp the holy prey ? 
 
 And now, adieu ! my lambs, my goats, my cow. 
 
 No more poor Paudeen's care shall tend ye now. 
 
 Alas ! 'tis now no more his happy lot. 
 
 To stretch at ease within the verdant grot ; 
 
 Or chant from shaggy rocks his drimandhu ; 
 
 Poor things I leave ye now — adieu ! adieu !(l) 
 
 BISHOP. 
 
 Well, Pat, as you are but a country clown, "* 
 
 Sleep in my ham — I lie on beds of down ; 
 
 For me pure pine apples spread a sweet desert, 
 
 Soft chesnuts too, and cheese to close the fare. 
 
 So now good night; I hear the vesper chime. 
 
 And the thick smoke proclaims — 'tis supper-time.{2) 
 
 NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 (1) At nos hinc alii sitientes ibimiis Afros, 
 
 • e « • 
 
 Et penitiis toto divisos orbe Rritannos. 
 En unqiiam patrios iongo post tempore finis, 
 Pauperis et tugxri cont^estmn c-espile cuhiien, 
 Post aliquot niea regna videns mirnhor arislas f 
 Inipiits hcee (am c-ulta novalia DiHes habebit? 
 Barbarus has segetes '? En quo discordia ci'ves 
 PerduxU miseros ! eti qneis consevimus agros ! 
 
 • 4* « • • 
 
 He me(e,felix q}iondam pccns, He cnpellee. 
 Non ego vos post/iaa, viri'di projecius in anlro, 
 Dianosa pendere procul do rupe videbo. 
 <'<trnima nulla Mouim : non, me pancente, capcllte 
 Florenteni cytisiim et salices oarpetis aniaras. 
 (2) Ilic tamen hue mecum poteris requiescere node 
 
 Fronde super viridi ! JSiint nobis milia poma, 
 
 Caslanetr. tnolles, et pressi copia laclia. 
 
 Etjam sumtna procul villaruin culmina sumant, 
 
 Majoresque cadunt altis de montibiis uinbrnc.
 
 THE 
 
 THIRD EPISTLE OF PETER. 
 
 There shall be Parsons in those days whose skill 
 
 Will turn to ridicule their Master's will, 
 
 Their conscience like their lives, in morals loose, 
 
 Of HIS pure words concoct the foulest use ; 
 
 Their Gold their God — their Glebes and Tithes their cares— 
 
 Their Luxuries their boast— their Avarice t+ieir praj'ers. 
 
 , Vision of PARSovSa
 
 THE 
 
 THIRD EPISTLE OF PETER 
 
 PREACHERS AND RULERS OF CONGREGATIONS. 
 
 A LOOKING-GLASS FOR THE CLERGY. 
 
 One of the best proofs that a prophecy is what it pur- 
 ports to be, is ITS EXACT FULFILMENT. If this rulc be 
 adopted in relation to " The Third Epistle of Peter," 
 there can be no doubt that it was written in the true 
 Spirit of PROPHECY ! 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 How the following Epistle came to be overlooked by 
 the early Saints of Christendom, and by all the Fathers, 
 or whether it was purposely suppressed by the Council 
 of Nice, and why it was at last destined to be found, 
 with other old manuscripts, among the ruins of an an- 
 cient city by a miserable wandering Monk, create cir- 
 cumstances which my limited knowledge of these sub- 
 jects does not enable me to explain. I am answerable 
 only for the accuracy of the translation from a French 
 copy presented by the Monk himself. Neither can I 
 prove the authenticity of the original, unless it be on 
 the strict correspondence of the actual state of the 
 Church with the injunctions contained in the Epistle, a
 
 30 rill HI) KIMSTI.K OK I'liTKR. 
 
 c»>ric.'>j>on(lciui wlilcli ^ccins lo hold uilli ;is iiiiich ve- 
 racity as that which is found in the fulfilment of any 
 |)iophccy with the prediction itself. 
 
 TRANSLATOR. 
 
 CHAPTER \.— The Style and Manner of Living. 
 
 1. Now ye who are called and chosen to go fortli to 
 all nations and among all people, in time present and 
 time to come, to preach the word, see ye take unto 
 yourselves marks, nay, many outward marks, Avhereby 
 ye shall be known of men. 
 
 2. Be ye not called as men are called ; but be ye called 
 Pope, Archbishop, Archdeacon, or Divine, or Reverend, 
 and Right Reverend, or some like holy name ; so may 
 you shew forth your honour and your calling. 
 
 3. And let your dwelling places be houses of splen- 
 dour and edifices of cost ; and let your doors be decked 
 with plates of brass, and let your names, even your Re- 
 verend titles, be graven thereon ; so shall it be as a 
 sign. 
 
 4. Let your garments in which you minister be gar- 
 ments not as the garments of men, neither let them be 
 " seamless garments woven throughout ;" but let them 
 be robes of richest silk, and robes of fine linen, of cu- 
 rious device and costly workmanship ; and have ye robes 
 of black and robes of white, that ye may change the one 
 for the other ; so shall ye shew forth your wisdom and 
 humility. 
 
 5. Let your fare be sumptuous, not plain and frugal 
 as the fare of the husbandman who tilleth the ground ; 
 but live ye on the fat of the land, taking " good heed 
 for the morrow, and wherewithal ye shall be fed." 
 
 6. And drink ye of the wines of the vintage brought 
 from afar, and wines of great price 3 then shall the light
 
 THIRD EPISTLE OF PETER. 31 
 
 of your spirits be the light of your countenances, and 
 your faces shall be bright, even as the morning sun 
 shall your faces glow in brightness ; thus shall ye shew 
 forth your moderation and your temperance in all 
 things. 
 
 7. Let the houses in which you preach be called 
 Churches, and let them be built in manner of great or- 
 nament without, and adorned with much cost within ; 
 with rich pillars and paints, and with fine altars, and 
 communion tables, and pedestals, and urns of precious 
 stones, and clothes and velvet of scarlet, and vessels of 
 silver. 
 
 8. And let there be rooms for the changing of robes, 
 and places for the precious metals and mitres. 
 
 9. And let the houses be divided into seats for the 
 congregation, and let every man know his own sejit ; 
 and let the first seats in front of the altar be for the rich 
 that pay by thousands ; and the next for the poorer that 
 pay by hundreds ; and the last for those that pay by 
 tens. And let the poor man sit behind the door. 
 
 10. And let the seats be garnished with cushions and 
 crimson cloth, and with fine velvet; for if (he houses of 
 players and v^ain people who deal in idle sayings and 
 shows of mockery, be rich and gorgeous, how much 
 more so should be the houses that are dedicated to him 
 " that is meek and lowly of spirit." 
 
 CHAPTER II.— The Choosing of Ministers. 
 
 1. When ye go out to choose holy ones to be of your 
 brethren and to minister at the altar, choose ye from 
 among the youth, even those whose judgments are not 
 yet ripe, and whose hearts know not yet whether they 
 incline to God or Mammon. 
 
 2. But ye are wise, and ye shall know the inclining 
 of their future spirits, and ye shall make them incline to 
 the good things which the Church hath in store for
 
 32 TimU) ICIMSTI.K OK PETKIl. 
 
 tlioni that aio oallod, I'von tlibso that sliall be called of 
 you. 
 
 3. Then shall ye have them taught exceeding uuiny 
 things. They shall not be as " ignorant fishermen" or 
 husbaiulmcn, or men speaking one tongue, and serving 
 God only by the knowledge ol'his law. 
 
 4. Nay, ye shall make them wise in the things of your 
 wisdom ; yea, exceedingly cunning in many mysteries, 
 even the mysteries which you teach, 
 
 5. Then shall they be fitted for the " laying on of 
 hands ;" and when the Bishop hath done his office, then 
 shall they be Reverend Divines. 
 
 6. But if any man believe that he is called of God to 
 speak to his brethren " without money and without 
 price," though his soul be bowed to the will of the Fa- 
 ther, and though he work all righteousness, and "speak 
 as with the tongue of an angel" — if he be not made a 
 Divine by your rules, and by the hands of a Bishop, 
 then is he not a Divine, nor shall he i)reach. 
 
 7. He that is chosen oiyou shall give ?/o?/ honor, and 
 shall be honored of men and honored of wojnen ; and 
 verily he expects his reward. 
 
 CHAPTER \\\.— The Performance of Preachi?ig. 
 
 1. When ye go to the Church to preach, go not by the 
 retired "way, wiicre go those that would shun the crowd; 
 but go in the highway, where go the multitude, and see 
 that ye have on the robes of black, and take heed that 
 your pace be measured well, and that your march be 
 stately. 
 
 2. Then shall your hearts be " lifted up," even as the 
 hearts of mighty men shall they be lifted up. And yc 
 shall be gazed upon by the multitude, and they shall 
 honor you ; and the men shall praise you, and the wo- 
 men shall glorify you, even by the women shall ye be 
 Sflorificd.
 
 THIRD EPISTLE OF PETER. 33 
 
 3. And when you go in, go not as the unordained, 
 prepared 07ily with a soul to God, and with a heart to 
 men, and with a spirit filled with the Holy Ghost; but 
 go ye in with your pockets full of papers, and full of di- 
 vine words ; even in your pockets shall your divinity 
 be. 
 
 4. And let your Sermon be full of " the enticing Avords 
 of man's wisdom," and let it be beautified with just di- 
 visions, and with tropes, and with metaphors, and with 
 hyperbole, and apostrophe, and with interrogation, and 
 with acclamation, and with syllogisms, and with so- 
 phisms, and throughout let declamation be. 
 
 5. And take good heed to your attitudes and your 
 gestures, knowing when to bend and when to erect, 
 when to lift your right hand and when to lift your left, 
 and let your motions be graceful, even in your attitudes 
 and in your gestures let your grace be. Thus shall ye 
 be pleasing in the eyes of the people and graceful in 
 their sight. 
 
 6. Let your voice at times be smooth as the stream of 
 the valley, and soft as the breeze that waves not the 
 bough on its bank ; and at times let it swell like the 
 waves of the ocean, or like the whirlwind on the moun- 
 tain top. 
 
 7. Then shall you charm the ears of your hearers, and 
 their hearts shall be softened, and their minds shall be 
 astounded, and their souls shall incline unto you, and 
 likewise the women ; yea, unto your sayings and unto 
 your persons shall they be inclined. 
 
 8. And be ye mindful not to offend the people ; re- 
 buke ye not their sins ; and when ye rebuke sin, rebuke 
 it at a distance, and let no man apply your sayings to 
 his own case ; so shall he not be offended. 
 
 9. If a brother shall raise up the banner of war against 
 brother, and christians against christians, rebuke them 
 not; but be some on the one side and some on the 
 
 F
 
 34 niIKU KIMSTI.K OK I'KlKll. 
 
 other, ;m(l ull tlic one host that God is on their sitU*, 
 and the other host that he is on their side; so make 
 them bold to kill. And oven anione^ swords and lancets 
 let yonr black robes be seen. 
 
 10. Preach yc not " peace on eartli, and j^ood will 
 towards men ;" but jireach ye glory to the victor, and 
 victory to the brave, 
 
 11. If any man go into a foreign land and seize upon 
 his fellow-man, and put irons on his feet and irons on 
 his hands, and bring him across the great deep into 
 bondage ; nay, if he tear asunder the dearest ties of na- 
 ture, the tenderest leagues of the human heart ; if he 
 tear the wife from the husband, and force the struggling 
 infant from its mother's bleeding breast, rebuke him 
 not! 
 
 12. And although he sell them in foreign slavery to 
 toil beneath the lash all their days, tell him not that his 
 doings are of Anti-Christ ; for lo ! he is rich, and giv- 
 cth unto the Church, and is esteemed pious. So shall 
 ye not offend him, lest peradventure, he withdraw him- 
 self from your flock. 
 
 13. Teach them to believe that ye have the care of 
 their souls, and that the saving mysteries are for your 
 explaining; and when you explain yow mysteries, en- 
 compass them roimd about with words as with a bright 
 veil, so bright that through it no man can see. 
 
 14. And lo ! ye shall bind the judgments of men, (and 
 more especially of women,) as with a band of iron ; and 
 ye shall make them blind in the midst of light, even as 
 the owl is blind in the noon-day sun ; and behold ye 
 shall lead them captive to your reverend wills. 
 
 CHAPTER IV.— r^ie Clergy s Reward. 
 1." In all your gettings" get money! Now, there- 
 fore, when yc go forth on your ministerial journey, go 
 where there are silver and gold, and where each man
 
 THIRD EPISTLE OF PETER. 35 
 
 will pay according to his measure. Fqr verily I say ye 
 must get your reward. 
 
 2. Go ye not forth as those that have been sent, with- 
 out tXvo coats, without gold or silver, or brass in their 
 purses ; without scrip for their journey, or shoes or 
 staves ; but go ye forth in the good things of this 
 world. 
 
 3. And when you hear of a Church that is vacant, 
 and hath no one to preach therein, then be that a call 
 unto you, and be ye mindful of the call, and take ye 
 charge of the flock thereof, even of the golden fleece. 
 
 4. And when ye shall have fleeced your flock, and 
 shall know of another call, and if the flock be greater, 
 or rather if the fleece be greater, then greater be also 
 unto you the call. Then shall ye leave your old flock, 
 and of the new flock shall ye take the charge. 
 
 5. Those who have " freely received" let them " freely 
 give," and let men not have your words " without mo- 
 ney nor without price," but bargain ye for hundreds 
 and bargain for thousands, even for thousands of silver 
 and gold shall ye bargain. 
 
 6. And over and above the price for which ye have 
 sold your service, take ye also gifts, and be mindful to 
 refuse none, saying, " Lo ! I have enough!" but re- 
 ceive gifts from them that go in chariots, and from them 
 that feed flocks, and from them that earn their morsel 
 by the sweat of their brow. 
 
 7. Yea, take ye gifts of all, and take them in gold and 
 in silver, and in bread ; in wine and in oil j in raiment 
 and in fine linen. 
 
 8. And the more that the people give you, the more 
 will they honor you ; for they shall believe, that " in 
 giving to you they are giving to the Lord j" for behold 
 their sight shall be taken from them, and they shall be 
 blind as bats, and *' shall not know what they do." 
 
 9. And yc shull >vax iichcr and richer, and grow
 
 lU) THIUl) KIMSTLli OF I'KTEB. 
 
 greuter and greater, and you shall be lifted up in your 
 own sight, and exalted in the eyes of the multitude ; and 
 LUciiE shall be no longer filthy in your sight. And 
 " verily you will have your reward." 
 
 10. In doing these things ye shall never fail. And 
 may abundanee of gold and silver, and bank notes, and 
 corn, and wool, and flax, and spirits, and wine, and 
 land, be nudtiplied unto you, both now and hereafter. 
 Amen. 
 
 Reader, are any of the Epistles more strictly attended 
 
 to ?

 
 THE 
 
 PATLANDER, 
 
 HIS BURDEN OF SANCTITY. 
 
 ' He made me walk under the trees, and forced me now and then to gather and eat 
 such fruits* as we found. He never left me all day, and when I laid down to rest 
 me by night, he laid himself down with me, holding always fast about my neck. 
 Every morning he pushed me to make me awake, and afterwards obliged me to get 
 up and walk, and pressed me with his feet. You may judge then, gentlemen, what 
 trouble I was in, to be charged with such a burden as I could no ways rid myself 
 from."— [Arab 1A.\ Nights' Entertainments— F«/</i Voyage of Sinbad the Sailor, 
 
 * Quere, First Fruits.
 
 40 niK rAIUANDKK. 
 
 \\ lu'ii 1 was VDk'd and harncss'd, but wait yet — 
 
 "There's luck in leisure" may be, wlio can tell ? 
 At any rate it's time enough to fret 
 And bid the Devil " g-ood morrow" when he's met. 
 
 Onct on a time, now I'll begin my story, 
 (Though its too true, a ballad for to be,) 
 
 The sorra matther about Whig or Tory, 
 For that time it was all the same to me. 
 Myself they forced to bend my stubborn knee. 
 
 And on my back an ugly urchin take, 
 Barrin' my pride and hatred, I agree 
 
 The load was nothin', for the brat was weak. 
 
 An' little did I think a man he'd ever make. 
 
 But gad he grew a monsther — 'pon my soul ! 
 
 I am afeard I never can get through, 
 The very thoughts of him the ugly Dhoul ! 
 
 Will set me half beside myself; he grew 
 
 Fast to my back at onct, an' well he knew 
 The Avays and means to vex me from the first. 
 
 His bony arms he fasten'd like a screw. 
 And bother'd me with psalms(l) — I kick'd an' curst 
 And roar'd like any bull, in troth I thought I'd burst. 
 
 There he Mas stuck, and I was made a show. 
 
 And still must labour if I meant to cat j 
 I yok'd my plough with grief, for well I knew 
 
 It was for Jiim, the brute, I ought to hate ; 
 
 And still I felt him feeding off my plate. 
 Counting my lambs, and grinning at my gain ; 
 
 And fat he grew, and ten times greater weight 
 Than my first load, and then for all my })ain 
 He cried it was tlie law — Iioav dare I to complain ! 
 
 (1) "He begein to sing after his manner." See Sinbad's Fifth Voyage,
 
 THE PATLANDER. 41 
 
 The neighbours laugh'd and wonder'd as I pass'd. 
 
 Small blame to them, for how could they contain ; 
 It was no joke to me though, and at last, 
 
 As fatter grew my load, myself grew lean ; 
 
 He swept off all my earnin's clear an clean, 
 The praties in the end, an' left me bare ; 
 
 And only for the childther, I would fain 
 Lie down and die at onct ; but now I swear 
 There is no need of that, and why I will declare. 
 
 The full and plenty of my darlint Isle, 
 
 As fat as any porpoise stuff' d my foe, 
 And he grew drunk and stupid, all the while 
 
 Forgetting his ould cunnin', even so 
 
 That his fast grips got loose unknownst, and oh ! 
 I feel him totthering on his well worn seat. 
 
 His easy seat no more, for murrah ! now 
 His ass grows rusty — faicks it 's not too late 
 With one bould plunge at onct to land him on his pate. 
 
 And when I see him on the level ground. 
 
 And face to face, with all his grandeur gone, 
 I'll wonder such a damn'd ass could be found 
 
 The likes o' me, to bear with him so long ; 
 
 But all will thin be over, and the song. 
 And pleasant sounds of labour and of sport 
 
 Will then be heard, and blessings in a throng j 
 My children then can be their own support. 
 No fear of proctor then, nor tithe, nor sessions- 
 court ! !
 
 THE 
 
 YOUNG PARSON^S DREAM^ 
 
 It was a fearful dream — a dream of hell ; 
 
 Of him whose baits no Parson can withstand. 
 
 And conscience ever told him that his God 
 
 He'd sell for gold and mitred power, 
 
 And that he'd prove a traitor to those trutlis 
 
 Which he pretended were his paths of light. 
 
 To lead men from their darkness into bliss. 
 
 TnK Pahson's Nioht-mark,
 
 THE 
 
 YOUNG PARSON'S DREAM. 
 
 In the lone stillness of the new-year's night, 
 A Bishop at his window stood, and turned 
 
 His dim eyes to the firmament, where bright 
 And pure a million rolling planets burned. 
 
 And then upon the earth all cold and white, — 
 And felt that moment that, of all who mourned 
 
 And groaned upon its bosom, none there were 
 
 With his hypocrisy and great despair. 
 
 For near him lay his grave ; concealed from view. 
 Not by the flowers of youth, but by the snows 
 
 Of age alone : in torturing thought he flew 
 Over the past, and on his memory rose 
 
 That picture of his life which memory drew 
 With all its fruits, diseases, sins, and w^oes : 
 
 A ruined frame, a blighted soul, dark years 
 
 Of agony, remorse, and withering fears ! 
 
 Like spectres now his days of youth came back, 
 And that cross-road of life where, when a boy. 
 
 His father placed him first ; its right hand track 
 Leads to a land of glory, peace and joy. 
 
 Its left to wilderness, waste and black, 
 
 Where snakes and plagues and poisonous blasts de- 
 stroy. 
 
 Where was he now ? alas ! the serpents hung 
 
 Coiled round his heart, their venom on his tongue.
 
 46 THK Yors(; tauson's dkeam. 
 
 (Jhoakrd uilh untlciabic grief, he cried — 
 ^" Restore to mo my youth ! oh Heaven ! restore 
 
 " My morn oi life ! oh father! be my guide, 
 
 '' And let me, let nic choose my path once more !" 
 
 But on the wide waste air his ravings died 
 Away, and all was silent as before. 
 
 His youth had glided by, swift as the wave ; 
 
 Hi« father eame not ; he was in his grave. 
 
 Wild lights went flickering by ; a star was falling j 
 Down to the miry marsh he saw it rush. 
 
 ** Myself," he said, and oh ! the thought was galling, 
 And hot and heart- wrung tears began to gush : 
 
 Sleepwalkers crossed his glance in shapes appalling, 
 Huge windmills lifted up their arms to crush. 
 
 And death-like faces started from the dim 
 
 Depths of the charnel-house and glared on him. 
 
 Amid these overboiling bursts of feeling, 
 
 Rich music, heralding the young year's birth, 
 
 Flowed from a distant steeple, like the pealing 
 Of some celestial organ o'er the earth. 
 
 Milder emotions over him came stealing ; 
 He felt the spirit's awful, priceless worth — 
 
 " Return" — again he cried imploringly, 
 
 " Oh my lost youth ! return, return to me \" 
 
 And youth returned, and age withdrew his terrors. 
 Still was he young, for he had dreamed the whole : 
 
 But faithful is the picture conscience mirrors, 
 Whenever Parson avarice gluts the soul. 
 
 Alas ! too real were his sins and errors. 
 Too truly had he made the earth his goal : 
 
 He wept and blessed his God that with the will 
 
 He had the power to choose the right path still.
 
 THE YOUNG PARSON S DREAM. ii^ 
 
 Here, youthful curate, ponder — and if thou, 
 
 Like him, art reeling over the abyss 
 Of church hypocrisy and mammon, now, 
 
 This ghastly dream may be thy guide to bliss. 
 But should age once bring mitres to thy brow. 
 
 Its wrinkles will not leave a dream like this — 
 Thy tears may then flow vainly o'er the urn 
 Of innocence, that never can return !
 
 THE LAY OF A LAYMAN- 
 
 Shall I speak plain, and in a nation free. 
 Assume an honest Layman's liberty ! 
 
 Drvub.v.
 
 LAY OF A LAYMAN. 
 
 " Thk Church is in danger !" his Reverence cries. 
 
 " Beg your pardon, my Lord — 'tis your Lordship that 
 
 lies." 
 *• The Church is in danger !" "My God, what a fright I 
 You're all in the wrong, and yet all in the right.'' 
 " Why, Sir, you're a Deist. I'm minding mi/ calling : — 
 The Church and the State were once very nigh falling, 
 Till ive, and the yeomen its ablest upholders, 
 Kept the tottering vehicle safe on our shoulders. 
 Our shoulders were broad — (' M'ith good eating and 
 
 drinking') — 
 And we kept all the nation from ' truth and free- 
 thinking.' " 
 " I deny it." " Why, friend, look to Spain's Inquisi- 
 tion." 
 " I do, and 'tis only a full exposition 
 Of plunder and blood in the name of believing — 
 While you practice by law equal modes of deceiving ; 
 And yet with assurance as bald as your jiate, 
 Cry, Heaven in its mercy will soon mend our state. 
 Into "fasting and praying" in public you launch. 
 While at home with rich dainties you cram your huge 
 
 paunch : 
 Like a Saint with a look of serene admiration, 
 You recommend poverty, curse peculation ; 
 While you smile when you think of the wealth you'll 
 
 procure — 
 The portion of orphans — //le blood of the poor ;
 
 [}'2 liJK LAY OK A LAYMAN. 
 
 \ih\ liiiJilly strut cill in royal paratlr, 
 
 Doridini,^ tlir (lui)i's and tlu> fools you have made: 
 
 And this is religion, and this is benign. 
 
 And this is the practice oi theory div'me : 
 
 And this is the manner in which it is given 
 
 To ride in a Juggernaut chariot to Heaven, 
 
 And present as an offering on God's holy fane 
 
 Tlie life of the spoiVd by your avarice slain. 
 
 If so bear me hence to the African wild, 
 
 Where those altars the offspring of nature has piled, 
 
 Lie ready to send forth the incense of love 
 
 Breath'd in pureness of heart to the regions above : 
 
 Let me list to his innocent prayer as it soars 
 
 To the Being who made him, the God he adores. 
 
 Yes, Child of the Desert, I'll warble with thee 
 
 The songs of thanksgiving — the tones of the free ; 
 
 I'll bow to the God of thy innocent mind. 
 
 Who dwells in the thunder and speaks in the wind : 
 
 And then to that land of deceit I will turn, 
 
 Where off'rings more costly, more largely may burn ; 
 
 While insolent preachers, tyrannic and proud. 
 
 The shrines of injustice and bigotry crowd : 
 
 Where Hope may despair, for religion's a cheat. 
 
 And faith but a shroud to encircle deceit ! 
 
 Oh ! Child of the Desert, with thee I will hie, 
 
 Thy thoughts are as pure as the bright sunny sky ; 
 
 Thy hope is from virtue, thy pray'rs from on high, 
 
 Then 1 Child of the Desert, to thee will I fly."
 
 TIME AT A STAND. 
 
 Ding, dong : 
 
 Dead and gone ! 
 
 Old Sono. 
 
 Venit summa dies et incluctabile tempus 
 
 * * Stat ferri acies mucrone corusco 
 Stricta, parata neci : vix primi proelia tentant 
 Portarum vigiles, et cseco Marte resistant. 
 
 Virgil, Mneid IC. 324, &c. 
 
 The dreaded time draws nigh, the last sad day. 
 When, as the Komish Priests and Cobbett say, 
 Th' Establish' d Church, like me, must pass away. 
 The Yeoman's bay'net and the Peeler's sword 
 Tor carnage drawn, can then no aid afford ; 
 Nor all that Ferns nor Famhara can misstate 
 Will blind the nation to delay her fate. 
 
 Translation hy PEriTioNBR.
 
 TIME AT A STAND ; 
 
 The Humble Petition of the poor Dumb Clock of Christ 
 Church, to the Digiiitaries of the Established. 
 
 The lowly Petition of a poor Clock neglected, 
 To the High Priksts of Dublin is humbly directed: 
 The Petitioner hopes that his wretched condition 
 Will amply excuse this his hiuiible Petition : 
 Petitioner states that a great while ago, 
 A Bishop, intending his friendship to show 
 To the Church which had fattened him, gave a donation 
 Of myself, a Clock good as e'er ticked in the nation, 
 To summon true Christians to prayers in right time 
 To hear the boys chanting and chorusses chime ; 
 But now — sad reverse ! quite neglected I lie. 
 And the people deride me as they're passing by. 
 For a dog dumb as those who have let me go down, 
 And call me a Bishop, the scoff of the town ! 
 My hands are all palsied, — for rust is marauding 
 My frame, and my bowels its poisons corroding ; — 
 In fine, should I longer in such case remain. 
 The Bishop to help me might labour in vain. 
 Oh pity ! ere winter, with freezing and showers. 
 Completely destroy all the rest of my powers ; 
 Restore my poor tongue to a sanative state 
 Ere I sink like the Parsons the victims of fate : 
 Yet if to relieve me there cannot be found, 
 'i'hrough all Skinner- row, some four or five pound —
 
 .*)<> I I Mi; AT A STAND. 
 
 h .NY///rt- tjiti fjcu/ 1>(' flir word of the Church 
 Well noted for leavinii^ ils friends in tlie hirch — 
 I humbly heseeeh you to publish a cant, 
 In ho|)e> that I may my poor carcass transphmt 
 To some other town in the country whose spirit 
 Will pay due legard to my jmrts and my merit; 
 Kathtariduim, Stillorgan, orDonnybrook down — 
 But, tor God's sake ! don't send me to starving Monks- 
 town ! 
 For he who is eock of the roost ruling there 
 Is the curd-aiul-whey son of the mit/c-sop Kildare ; 
 My price he would pocket, then slyly pretend 
 The parish would gain, Avith no clock to amend, — 
 Besides, bills, clocks, organs, and all such Church- 
 hoaxing, 
 Is needless where thej/ have a Preacher so coaxing. 
 Rathfarnham, indeed, is so stupid a place. 
 And the Rector xM'Clane has got such a face, — 
 Such an acre of face ! such a bladder-chop dew-lap, 
 As none but Ox-onians would list for a Jew-trap, 
 And snores out his Sermons with such sleepy skill 
 That in spite of repairs I should ahvuys be still. 
 So now I think on it I Avill not go there 
 To sleep at the Sermon, and stand at each prayer. 
 Still-organ, indeed, for a Church, must be quiet — 
 No noise of the bellows to kick up a riot. 
 When folk assail Heaven and bid it the time o' day, 
 With music-pipes, charter- brats, screeching, and 
 
 psalmody ; 
 Therefore it might do me — fit place for repose — 
 To wind up my life as it draws to a close, — 
 But the Barker who deals out life's bread by the ration 
 There, talks so of hell, and so threatens damnation 
 With such a fierce spirit, — that dam' me, if I could feel 
 Safe in the steeple that's shook by such holy zeal ! 
 As for Donnybrook Church, faith its nearly as bad, 
 Tho' diflf'rent, — its barker 's a comical lad, —
 
 TIMK AT A STAND. 57 
 
 Prince Crawford, whom petticoats love to run after ; 
 He shakes the Church steeple,— but faith, its with 
 
 laughter. 
 One eye lifted up towards o/rf maidens, is praying; 
 While the other, in search of the young ones, is straying : 
 He's watched, to be sure, by his wife, but what then ? 
 Sure David was watched, — that example of men ! 
 Yet David found time through his psalm-singing leisure 
 To gaze on Bethsheba and chaunt with more pleasure, 
 Inspired by God's handy work, seen in that form 
 Which even a Bishop's devotion might warm ! 
 Well, send me, I pray you, wherever you please, 
 But to no Churchless parish, or Chapel of Ease : 
 Leave them for the Beneficed knaves who ne'er click 
 
 at all. 
 Who bandy a Living as boys do a cricket-ball.* 
 Let me have a great Church Avith a candlestick steeple. 
 Where dress and flirtation will bring many people : 
 Such as the Bethesda where, under Mathias, 
 Young virgins at market, for love, Avill grow pious ; 
 And one-shirted beaux may cast their May-flies 
 On the brook of devotion to hook up a prize. 
 Or th' Asylum inLeeson street, take for example. 
 
 Where Ladies, turn w s in " Virtue's ensample." 
 
 But, no ! I forgot, that there is a balker, 
 
 I'd be surely shut out till I'd turn a street-walker If 
 
 NOTES AND COM>ri!NTS. 
 
 • The " cunninge" Poet referreth, "gentle reader," to that most spi- 
 ritual class of absentee pluralists, who, though they receive several 
 thousands annually for the "cure of souls," never "click" or preach 
 at all, but leave Parish business to be nwxtthed by one of their numerous 
 " harAcrs" or Curates, like those lazy hospital surgeons who abandon the 
 patients whom they should attend themselves, to their apprentices, we 
 suppose on the convenient old principle of " fpti fncit per aliitm, J'acit 
 
 perse. The llev. JNIathevv P , a Fitzwilliam-square and coach- 
 
 and (oar- ilriving " sAep/ierfl of souls," is nni the lea.st eminent speci- 
 men of this truly Apoalolic genus. 
 
 t The following story concerning lh<' celebrated " riiifce (lo7Hinn'' of 
 ci t/^vfiHl viri^inity, mentioned in onr text, (iiinishes al present a great 
 
 I
 
 .'»8 I IME A r A STAND. 
 
 llt»wrvt'r, iliL'if's Kiiiiifstowii, or (flhridgo, or Lucaii, 
 NVIioro proplc art" cuii'd by tlic spa or by puking, 
 Sure thrii', 1 miij^ht settle, no elock-savernear, 
 To mend nie, like Parsons — at so much a year, 
 But when constipation gets hold ol niy maw, 
 The parish may dose me with CoUins's spa. 
 Then send me, goodBishoj)s, to Lucan, I say, 
 And for all of your souls by the Ijour will I puav. 
 
 .SMITES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 ileal of profane merriment to the Romish wits of this " ere ci'tj/." 
 A poor ffirl from the " hlack North" presented herself to the -sanctified 
 
 Mrs. L , the head of the Establishment, and requested to be 
 
 received into its i-e^tal precincts, alleging, that as the little stock of 
 money which was subscribed by her friends to pay her travelling 
 expences, was exhausted, and as the family to which she was going 
 to " sarvice" on the death of her father and mother, had gone to 
 "foreign parts," she hoped Mrs. L , of whose numerous chari- 
 ties she had heard, would save her from the streets in a city where, 
 from her friendless condition, she had no other mode of subsistence. 
 
 " Indeed," said Mrs. L , "I do not Aovibt what you have told 
 
 me, and I am really sorry for your distress j but, this Establish- 
 ment is only open to persons who have unhappily lost tiieir cha- 
 racters, and by the 'grace of the Lord have ' turned from their 
 evil tea !/>>.' " "Ah I my Lady," answered the poor Hrunswicker in 
 petticoats, " what am I to do? I have never lost my ' characther,' and 
 I hav' n't a penny?" "I really can't help you," interrupted Mrs. 
 
 L . " I have nothing for you ; I have other business to mind, so 
 
 good morning to you." The rejected candidate departed, but by no 
 means "rejoicing on her icays," as our readers may easily imagine. 
 
 However, the next day she presented herself to Mrs. L , with a 
 
 "joyotis countenance." " INIy good girl," observed Mrs. L , 
 
 rather sharply, " I really don't know what brings you here again ; I told 
 you you would not suit this place." "Ohl my Lady," retorted the 
 maiden, with " all her blushing honours thick upon her," I met my old 
 friend Jack •••• of Lord Farnham's yeomanry last night, and, please 
 your Ladyship, I'm now fit to be taken in !" 
 
 \ Alagdaleniana , or Reminiscences of " Maids who loved the 
 .Moon, " by the late Right Rev. £>r. " Nox. '
 
 SONG OF LUCIFER. 
 
 Who will not say, " the proverb's truth is shown — 
 
 THE DEVIL IS ALWAYS SURE TO MIND HIS OWN? 
 
 Hrrnp-Bonk tif the Cornel Cluh.
 
 SONG OF LUClFER,(l) 
 
 LOSS OF HIS BEST BELOVED CHILD; 
 
 OK, 
 
 THE LAMENTATION OF SATAN FOR THE FALL OF THE 
 "CHURCH OF MAMxMON." 
 
 Air — " Farewell, farewell to thee, Araby's daughter." 
 
 The tabernacles of robbers prosper, and they that provoke God are secure ; into 
 
 whose hand God bringeth abundantly. 
 A generation whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw-teeth as knives, to devoiu' the 
 
 poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men. 
 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can yc escape the damnation of hell ?{'i) 
 
 Job xii. 6. Proverbs x.xx. 14. Matthew xxiii. 33. 
 
 Farewkll, farewell, oh ! Hvpockisy's daughter, 
 (Thus warbled Old Nick over each fallen See,) 
 
 N0TE8 A.ND COMMENTS FOR THE APPROB.\TION 01 "THE KILDAKE- STREET 
 SOCIETV." 
 
 (1) We iill recollect Doctor Magee's venomous antithesis, that " the 
 Catholics had a church without a religion, and the Dissenters a religion 
 without a church ;" and as his Grace would not dispute with us when 
 nlive that Lucifer literally signifieth a " light-bringer," we would not 
 be surprised if some of the episcopal brethren of his " Gleiidulach" Lord- 
 ship should tell the Parsons in one of those effusions of splenetic ortho- 
 doxy called Charges, that said Lucifer is king of the "New-lights," 
 since they are now becoming quite as hostile to the Establishment 
 as "mere benighted Papists." 
 
 (2) These, it will be remembered, are the very nords of our Saviour 
 himself against the Pharisees or Jewish Parsons of his day, who, 
 with all their faults, never exacted payment from the members of any 
 religion but their own. IVIake the most of this dentincialion, yc sabre- 
 and muskcl-supportcd Micce^isors of thobc avaricious hypocrites! ! I
 
 ^2 ^0^^. OK l.U( I KICK. 
 
 No ii(>liU' c'vv lay in a 'rKKN(ii(;ij of bog wafer 
 More loul in his slime, than thy Hisnop> in ihec. 
 
 Oh, pine was the Church, eveiy hlessint^ hestowinji: ; 
 
 How holy it was till wealth's luxury came 
 Like a blue-bottle fly o'er a joint of meat blowing, 
 
 Destroying its sweetness, and tainting the same. 
 
 But, long in green Erin, on each sunny highland, 
 Shall Pat and his Sheela i remember the doom 
 
 Of the tyrants who prey'd on the "Emerald Island," 
 With none but the Devil to mourn o'er their tomb. 
 
 And still when the bright merry harvest is burning, 
 And calls to the corn-fields the young vilhnge maid. 
 
 The humblest, when thence from their labour returning. 
 Will sit down content, with " no tithes to be paid." 
 
 The smart peasant lad with his tight doe-skin breeches, 
 When he trots off to Mass, on some festival day. 
 
 Will laugh at the fall of thy pomp and thy riches. 
 When Parliament takes all thy acres away. 
 
 Nor shall Erin, long curs'd with thy harpies, forget thee, 
 Though Unionists(4) heed not her tears as they start, 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS FOR THE APPKOBATION 01' " THE KILDA HE- STREET 
 
 SOCIETY." 
 
 (.3) There are some satirical persons who spitefully say in the words 
 of Doctor Garth, 
 
 " The vilest rubbish fills a tkenxh the best," 
 and maintain that our ^arw»/ess line containeth an allusion to a renowned 
 Archdeacon in the " fF'esl countrie," who forsook the service of Bellona 
 ior the more projiladle caU'io^ of the Gospel; but ivc trust it is quite 
 needless for us to state, that our profound reverence for such a " holy 
 man," completely pre< ludelh the remotest possibility of such an impious 
 insinuation. 
 
 (4) When Malathy I. was preparing to rescue this country from the 
 yoke of the Danish tyrant Tnrgesius, in the ninth century, it is said 
 that he asked him " What shall I do to get rid of an immense number
 
 SONG OF LUCIFER. 63 
 
 Close, close by my side, I for ever will set thee; 
 You know you were ever the pride of my heart. 
 
 Farewell, be it mine still to comfort your pillow 
 
 With the "warmest reception" that glows in the 
 deep; (5) 
 
 While rock'd upon Phlegethon's(6) classical billow, 
 The Devils themselves cannot lull ye to sleep. 
 
 Around ye the folds of the snake shall be coiling 
 
 That allured man to taste the "first fruits" (7) of 
 the tree ; 
 
 With seas of hot sulphur that's ceaselessly boiling. 
 We "Angels of Darkness" have treasur'd for 7/e. 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS FOR THE APPROBATION' OF "THE KILDARE-STREET 
 SOCIETY." 
 
 of ravenous birds that have lately overspread and laid waste this 
 island ?" The unsuspicious barbarian replied, " You must first destroy 
 their tiests." RIalachy put in practice this alleg:orical advice by killing 
 its author and destroying: the /or<resses of his followers. Can there he 
 a better exemplification of those "ravenous birds" than our modern 
 Parsons ? They are the true Danes by whom the Turgfesius policy of 
 England has trampled and crushed this beautiful, fertile, and yet 
 wretched province in tlic dust. They are the real Bastilles by which 
 she /las maintained, and wifl maintain her emaciating: oppression in 
 this unhappy land, until insulted Christianity is vindicated by the utter 
 overthrow of their Heathenish temporalities. They are the Duilian 
 grappling:- irons by which the otherwise unassailable liberties of our 
 country have been destroyed by F}ng:lish usurpation. In fine, they were 
 the chief promoters of the unnatural and itleg^al Union, as they- were 
 well convinced that the existence of their Mammon Estarlisiiment 
 would be incompatible with the continuation of national independence. 
 
 (5) According to some theologians, (and it appears they nrtftiow right) 
 hell is " situate, lying and being" in the bottom of the " deep, deep sea," 
 in which, we suppose, fAose mitres are to he found, for vc/iifh our 
 friend, (he Parson, is represented as fisAinff, in Ike First Part of the 
 Horn- Book ! ! '. 
 
 (6) Phlegetiion, a " river of fire" in the infernal regions. We wish 
 the Bishops and Parsons joy of their warm hath ! ! ! 
 
 (7) Moore in his " Memoirs of Captain Rock," mentions a work 
 written in defence of tithes, by a memljer of that pre-eminently pious and
 
 til M»N(> OK J.r'CIKKU, 
 
 I'll i^'o ti> D'Oi.iKit-sriiKKi', \\li(M-<^ Horn-Books are 
 sollin.i::. 
 
 And hack with the "Skcond Edition" I'li come, 
 'I'o show ye tlie [)rint where the liisnoi* is yellini^ 
 
 Witli all the sharp thorns stiekiiiij^ into his . 
 
 Farewell, farewell, and Mhilc Pity's sweet fountain 
 Shall flow for the tlumsands you sent to their grave, 
 
 'J'he blood-sucking tithers of hog and of mountain, (8) 
 Like DrvEs, a drop of void water shall crave .'.'.' 
 
 NOTES AND CO.M.MfXTS TOR THE APrUOIlATIOX Of "TIIK KI LDil RE-STREHT 
 SOCIETV." 
 
 ilisinterosted class of society, called Parsons. We learn from the Reve- 
 rend author, that this ecclesiastical impost f 1071 (in every sense of the 
 word,) was first paid by a no less celebrated country gentleman than 
 Adam : he forgets, however, observes Moore, to mention " to what Parish 
 Church Adam paid his tithes." We quote these ideas with reluctance, 
 as a specimen of the language we daily hear uttered by the numerous 
 /»e</a/ie scoffers at "Holy Church,"' who live incur unhappy times; 
 liut we maintain, from the expression " first fruits" in the song of 
 fjiie who cerlaiuly teas in Paradise, that the tithe-system existed there, 
 though we know there are some wicked carpers who will j.rosume to 
 ask, " If so, /loxv rould it be Paradise ? 
 
 (8) Proceedings are at this moment going on against between one 
 and two hundred poor mounfaiiioers, in the County •••••••• • 
 
 for an arrear of tithe claimed to be due to the Reverend * * * • • • 
 v/ho died in 1825 or C. These miserable beings, whether defeated or 
 successful, are sure to be totally ruined by the expense of the law pro- 
 ceedings, and to add to the hardship of their case, the barren mountain 
 from which they have to extract a scanty subsistence by the dint of 
 bard labour, was only lately discovered to b«:long to any parish, by the 
 persecuting sagacity of a well known six-and-eight-penny " Gentleman 
 by Act of Parliament." When Soame Jenyns was asked what was 
 the difference between an attorney and a solicitor? he replied, " The 
 same that there is between an alligator and a crofodile." Poor alli- 
 gators and crocodiles, if you devour a man, you soon put him out of 
 pain, and you do not beggar his children or his heirs; but your gold- 
 devouring brothers-in/c/i'- swallow the whole substance of the unfortu- 
 nate, and afterwards consign their families to the niiseriesi of poverty.
 
 ERASMUSES ECHO. 
 
 • < * * i, yg walked according to the course of this world, according to the Prince of 
 " the power nf the air ; the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience." — 
 St. Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians, c. ii. v. 2. 
 
 Extract from a forthcoming work, entitled, " Texts for Bishops and Parsons," 
 by Philip Dixon Hardv, M.R.I. A. !!!!!!
 
 ERASMUS'S ECHO. 
 
 TRAKSLATED IXTO EXGLISII. 
 
 Drm/uitts Persoms—GREENUOR'N and ECHO. 
 
 [The reporter of the following colloquy, is of opinion 
 that the invisible speaker, who for distinction's sake is 
 called Echo, was not really Echo, but a certain sjnrit 
 from the other world, who artfully substituted himself 
 in place of "the nymph who dwells unseen." The 
 reporter thinks he can assign three very good reasons 
 in support of this opinion. First, the invisible jester 
 replies in such terms as indicate both the mission and 
 person of the supposed Echo. Secondly, the solilo- 
 quies and interrogatories of the young aspirant after 
 " rapine in the holocaust," are often continued to a 
 very great length before they are interrupted, for every 
 one knows that the sportive Echo delights in quick and 
 frequent replications. Thirdly, the scene is a wood- 
 land attached to a Parsonage, lying and situate between 
 the towns of * * * and * * *, in the King's County, 
 The colloquy, by a singular coincidence, is almost a 
 translation of Erasinus's Echo.] 
 
 Greenhorn — I'm at a loss to know my future situation 
 in life. Will I be an attorney, a tailor, a gaoler, or a 
 Bishop ? 
 
 Echo — A Bishop ! 
 
 Greenhorn — For your life and soul, do not reoom- 
 mend me any situation tliat would keep a poor, bewil-
 
 68 KUANMl->'s ECHO. 
 
 dered, woolgntlieriui;' jj^ictnlu)!!! from safely entering 
 the kinc^dom conu*. 
 
 Eclio \_In a quizzical tone] — Come, come. 
 
 Greenhorn — But I naut a direct answer ? 
 
 Echo — Answer !* 
 
 (ireaihorn — I'm neither guuse nor gander, tor I'm a 
 Trinity-CoUegc-brcd man. Nor have I got a vocation 
 lor the thimble and goose. 
 
 Echo [^Aside'] — Goose ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Goose, do you say ? why I wouldn't be 
 the ^^ ninth part of a man" for all that the big Bishop 
 of Meath is worth in the world. Davy M'Cleery is a 
 more efficient bit of a mortal in constitutional patch- 
 work, than ever I can pretend to be ; though bred, born 
 and reared to " earn my bread," I don't like to do so 
 by the " sweat of my brow," (for I leave that to those 
 who are able and willing to work,) but at the expense 
 of those whom Providence destined to work for me and 
 my confreres. 
 
 Efcho — Work for mk and my confreres ! 
 
 Greenhorn — May be I will ; and I'll strive to " work 
 
 ■ NOTES AND COMJIENTS. 
 
 • '♦ The Latin for the favourite bird of the " Knights of the Needle." 
 
 This reminds us of a ludicrous anecdote, related of a celebrated dunce 
 ii) Clonjfowes Wood, who beinj? asked the Latin word for goose Ci- e. 
 himself) by one of the Professors, elbowed his next neighbour to 
 prompt him. He was repeatedly told anser, anser ; but, thinking him- 
 self quizzed, be still kept elbowing and hesitating to give .1 reply, 
 while his useless friend continued to say "«7iiw." At length, irritated 
 at what he thought to be such an unseasonable jest, the " enraged 
 dunce" turned round upon his prompter and roared out, "Answer! 
 answer! — how the devil can I answer when you won't tell me what I 
 want to know ?" " Pat, my boy," said the Professor, "go away imme- 
 diately and get twice nine ferulas" — a mode of hand-bualinado, 
 " gentle reader," of which, if thou hast ever partaken, thou wilt be as 
 little inclined a-, " poor Pat" was to call his master a "Professor of 
 Huuwnity."
 
 EUASMUS S ECHO. 
 
 60, 
 
 out my salvation with fear and trembling,"* though my 
 father, (God convert him) is now in greater fear and 
 trembling about his living than he is or ever was about 
 his salvation. He intends to sail off to heaven on a 
 feather-bed, and I dare say he'll as surely get into tlie 
 Cielum Empyraeum as I have past over the last month 
 of July. 
 
 Echo — You lie. 
 
 Greenhorn — / lie ! when my father preaches that the 
 infidel and the deist are now laying the axe to the root 
 of religion; but stop! let me think! indeed I never 
 could find in my Bible that apostolic poverty and self- 
 denial was irreligion, and that the essence of religion 
 consisted in the mammon of unrighteousness. So far 
 from it that I never read in any book, sacred or profane, 
 that a man will be damned for being poor, and will not 
 be saved unless he give the lie to Solomon for saying 
 that " it is a wicked thing to love money." 
 
 JEicho — Love money ! 
 
 Greenhorn — To be sure I Avill if I be a Bishop ; but, 
 St. Paul says, that " without faith it is impossible to 
 please God ;" and, (now that I recollect myself,) my 
 father and others not caring much whether saving faith 
 is to be found in the Koran or in the Athanasian Creed, 
 interpret St. Paul in this way : " Without shovel-hats 
 full of money it is impossible to please God." I should 
 suppose that Mammon is my father's god, and there are 
 many other household gods whom my father adores. 
 
 Echo : W s ! w s ! ! 
 
 Greenhorn — I am digressing from the main point. 
 I wish to step into case and affluence with as little diffi- 
 culty as the Kilkenny apothecary, who was metamor- 
 phosed into a ready-made Parson by Bishop O'Beirne. 
 
 Echo — Earn ! 
 
 NOTE .A\n (OMMENr. 
 
 * Of being shot by tlu* Wliitrlioys!
 
 /U K U A^^l L > s KC IK). 
 
 (.iretnlioni — 1 will to he sure, but with a* littlt trouble 
 as I can. Was iu)t the apothecary, with his few scraps 
 of Latin, and with no other Greek* than 7roAu^Xot(T/3oa> 
 OnXaercnjc, ininiediatelv |)ronu)te{l to holy orders, and 
 tlien to a fat livini^ of a thousand a year; an(i all this 
 for administering one night after punch, a patent emetic 
 to enable tiie Right Rev. Father in God, Thomas Lewis 
 O'Beirne, Bishop of Ossory, to empty his holy intestines 
 for a second round of stuffing with victuals and costly 
 wines ? I know a little of emcticology, and might be 
 of some use to one of Dr. O'Beirne's successors, and of 
 a great deal of use to myself, if I should fare as well in 
 this world as did the Kilkenny pharmacopolist. Tell 
 me now, once for all, whether I'm to be an attorney, 
 a parson, a bum or a bishop ? 
 
 JEcho — A parson, a bum, or a bishop. 
 
 Greenhorn — Nine distinct syllables from Echo, 'pon 
 my honour. Perfect echo, indeed. And who could 
 have noticed this, unless a yearling jib like me, that 
 has taken out a Science medal in T. C. D., for his pro- 
 found knowledge in phonics and fluxions and pneuma- 
 tology, and Dr. Hales on the infinitesimal hair-splitting 
 of the enharmonic sounds ? 
 
 Echo — Zounds ! 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 * Alluding to Homer's famous line, 
 
 B/; c ciKtiov Trapii Glva TroXv^XotV/Soio 9a\dffff7]g, 
 so admirftbly descriptive of the sea, and so miserably diluted in Pope's 
 "Silent he went along the sounding main." 
 Perhaps the only verse in our language that can give an English 
 reader an idea of the magnificent thunder of the original Greek, is 
 the concluding one, from the following triplet in Dryden's translation 
 of Virgil's celebrated Tempest in the Georgics : — 
 "* * Whole sheets descend of sluicy rain 
 
 The dikes are filled ; 
 The rising rivers float 
 And rocks the bellow 
 
 ; and, with a roaring souact, "I 
 >at the nether ground ; > 
 
 ling' voice of boiling seas rebound. J
 
 Erasmus's echo. 71 
 
 Greenhorn — At all events, I have learned enough of 
 Greek and Latin, and a gentleman's knowledge of phis 
 and inimus and polar co-ordinates, to carry me safe and 
 sound through this half-learned world of ours. I read 
 in the Comet some time since, a curious article called 
 *' A Buckthorn for the Curates and small Fry of 
 THE Established." This buckthorn has wonderfully 
 opened my eyes as to the art of Parson-making. Very 
 well then — 
 
 I wish to live a life of ease ; 
 Make me a Parson, if you please. 
 
 Echo — If you please. 
 
 Greenhorn — Yes, yes, a Parson I must be. The life, 
 the thrice-happy life of a holy Parson is a royal acquisi- 
 tion. *' No man knoweth love or hatred by all that is 
 before him." Ergo, I know not at this moment whe- 
 ther I shall he as well off in the next world as Bishop 
 O'Beirne vjas in this. " Better to reign in hell than 
 serve in heaven," is the language of a devil ; but it is 
 the language of many a Bishop too. No life like that 
 of a Parson. Sons and daughters easily provided for, 
 iu this world at least. If I be unable to provide for 
 daughters, the creatures themselves can do it in the 
 city of London. Any Parson, if he pleases, may be 
 cock, and his children, chicks. Many a holy man of 
 my acquaintance is over-scrupulously anxious to comply 
 with the primaeval injunction, " Crescite ^ midtipli- 
 camini." 1 know a Curate that is partial to the Popish 
 exposition of the aforesaid text, but he finds the prac- 
 tice of that anti-petticoat explanation so troublesome, 
 that (poor devil) he is longing to become a cuckoo! 
 
 Echo — Cuckoo ! cuckoo ! cuckoo ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Papa and Mamma have given me a few 
 lessons in "The Ecclesiastical Tom Thumb Book." 
 This nice little book is an old family j)iecc. It is also 
 called, and with very good reason too, " A Parsonical 
 Glossary of <^\u'\\ hard words as occur in Scripture."
 
 FriUM iliib liiilf book aitd rrt>iu tlu' C^omct Hucktlioni, 
 I (lii'ivtMl nioif piulilublr instructiun tliaii I (!vei" did 
 iVoiu Stillin^flU'cl, Bramhall, and Moshcim. With your 
 leave I'll icive you a et)luinii from the Glossary : — 
 
 Ai'osTLK — (From the Greek aTocTTiXXtLv, to send) — 
 One sent to plunder those who reject his mission ; a 
 Bishop worth £20,0{K) per annum ; one sent with a 
 scjuad of yeomen to massacre peo[)le for refusing to 
 starve themselves in order to feast " Holy Church." 
 
 PovBRTV OF SpiRir — Want of compassion for the 
 poor. 
 
 Heaven — A good Living capable of supplying a mi- 
 nister of the Gospel with all the luxuries that a most 
 voluptuous heart could M-ish for either here below, or 
 ill Mahomet's heaven. Hence, we deduce a very na- 
 tural interpretation of the first beatitude, "Blessed are 
 the poor in spirit, for their's is the kingdom of hea- 
 ven." With a little ingenuity, the remaining seven 
 beatitudes may be made to answer all the purposes of 
 an apostle that yawneth after the la7id of the living, 
 and the " Heaven of Preferment." 
 
 Lamentations — A most mournful poem composed 
 by the Prophet Jeremiah. In this poem, the Prophet be- 
 waileth him sore for the loss of tithes. He attributes 
 the downfall uf religion, and all the calamities of the 
 people, to the seizure of exorbitant Mealth amassed by 
 Shepherds who Jieeced but did waV feed the flock. The 
 passages in which the Prophet bewails the poverty of 
 the lazy, dumb dogs, are exceedingly pathetic. 
 
 Faith — A shovel-hat-full of guineas at a maximum. 
 Hence, it happens that the faith of Church-men is a 
 '^ort of variable (piantity, ebbing and flowing like the tide. 
 In other words, faith is the tide that ebbs and flows on 
 the " Sea ff Sees". It was only of late years that faith 
 Avas discovered to be a real mi'thematical quantity, the 
 property of which i*^ exhibited in this very simple for-
 
 Erasmus's echo. 73 
 
 inula, F=L, where F is put for Faith, tlie symbol = 
 for varies as* L, for Living. Bishop Brinkley may 
 be acquainted with other algebraical and JiHxio7ial pro- 
 perties of saving Faith. Perhaps he might favour the 
 Royal Irish Academy with a memoir on this important 
 subject. 
 
 Good Works — The levying of tithe upon corn, cab- 
 bage, potatoes, poultry and other necessaries of life. 
 Tithe must be levied every year, otherwise there would 
 be a failure in the purse, and in spite of glebe-lands, 
 you may be forced to sell your hounds, horses and car- 
 riages. It was very true then for St. James to remark 
 that "faith without good works is dead."t If Luther 
 had felt the blessings of the tithe-system, only half as 
 well as the late Bishop of Derry, he would not have 
 been fool enough to call St. James's Epistle, an Epistle 
 of straw. The Rhemish Testament says, I believe, that 
 we should labour by good works to make our election 
 sure. Quaere, why don't we take into our authorised 
 version, the words, good ivorks, which are found in the 
 Rhemish version, but not in ours ? 
 
 Scrip and Staff — A large money-bag, and 'dpai'lia- 
 mentary crosier. This interpretation of scrip and staff" 
 is so very lawful that it ought to put to shame our 
 adversaries who pretend to shew an evident contrast 
 between our Bishops and the Bishops appointed by our 
 Saviour himself. The Apostles were certainly com- 
 manded not to have the second coat ; but that only 
 meant that they should not be dressed in two suits of 
 clothes at once.^ 
 
 NOTE AM) tOM.MENT. 
 
 • Or — according to. 
 
 t t. e. The " Established Ciiuuch" will he ruined vvitlioiit tilhe- 
 onllocting and its necessary ii\.UH\Annt, peasa7it-i!hooti»g. The favorite 
 anthem of Parsons i.s, " The Lord is a vutn of war." it seems, how- 
 ever, that he is now hoi^inning to turn his arms against their Ueverences. 
 
 J Some of our present hearers of a Statute-book CJro/ier are so big, 
 that, but for the sake of modesty, one suit of clothes is too niucii for tlieir 
 
 I.
 
 74 KHAS.MUb'. KlJIO. 
 
 1 couUI i,M\i' you iiioiT ixtiacls uiil ol my Cilos- 
 sory ; but those I have i^ivcii will siitlice to shew the 
 ingeiuiity ot our Divhios in shotting over the hardest 
 passages ot tlie lioly Scripture. — Enough thon of Do- 
 mestic and College lore in this nob of mine, 1 presume. 
 
 Echo — Resume. 
 
 Greenhorn — Resume \vhat ? is it my Academical 
 studies all over again ? 
 
 Echo — Studies all over again.; 
 
 Greenhorn — Not I, in troth. Do you mean I'm as 
 ignorant now as wlien I first entered ? Surely 1 can't 
 be so igno-rant. 
 
 Echo — Rant ! Rant ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Are you serious ? 
 
 Echo — Yes, yes ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Oh ! 1 see you mean, that in order to 
 become a true preacher of God's word, I should begin 
 my studies over again. But to be a gainer by God's 
 Avord, must I revise M'hat I'm certain I already know. 
 
 Echo — No, no ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Have I not yet to qualify myself for the 
 " Calling" by the laborious study of Theology ? 
 
 Echo — Tea-ology.* 
 
 Greenhorn — They say, Theology ought not to be 
 omitted. 
 
 NOTES ANF. COMMENTS. 
 
 Graces, ttcader; didst thou ever behold the episcopal " man-moun- 
 tain" of Meath, or in plainer terms, Alexandek the Giieat I Verily, 
 verily, if his Lordship's larnal ideas hear any proportion to his hulk, no 
 one had ever more occasion to pray against the " desires of the^es/t'." 
 
 * By this pre-eminently orthodox and saintly, though rather novel 
 word " TEA-ology," we presume that Greenhorn's confidential friend 
 and adviser from the other tvorld ! thinketli " tea and the word" (the 
 liberal meaning of ology), otherwise "tea and Bible" is an ample 
 Parsonic substitute for that old laborious science which the Romish 
 Priests denominate Tunology. — Indeed, in the dictionary of the Elect 
 both words arc sononymons, since "the" is the French for that compa- 
 nionable beverage which, in the language of Saint Cowper, " cheers, 
 but not inebriates. '
 
 Erasmus's echo. *Jb 
 
 Echo — Omit it. 
 
 Greenhorn — But what must 1 have in its stead, 
 according to your ad-vlce ? 
 
 Mcho — Vice. 
 
 Greenhorn — Besides Reverence, Very Reverence, and 
 Right Reverence, what other future honours await 
 some of our Green-horns ? 
 
 Echo — Horns ! horns '• horns ! 
 
 Greenhorn — What are those about wlio look for pre- 
 ferment beyond a Curacy ? 
 
 Echo — A See. 
 
 Greenhorn — W^hat is chiefly aimed at by those gen- 
 tlemen-saints who covet pluralities ? — 
 
 Echo — Ease ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Certainly ! for I'm thinking it wOuld, be 
 as easy to get a jack-ass to play on the trombone, as 
 to find among those modern '■^apostles'' a real Naza- 
 rite, begad. 
 
 Echo — Right, begad. 
 
 Greenhorn — Do such modern '^ apostles" give the lie 
 to Peter and Paul ? 
 
 Echo—KW ! 
 
 Greenhorn — But surely, for the treasures which these 
 holy men store up in their palaces, their Reverences, 
 and Right Reverences are not ungrateful to our 
 Maker? Don't they turn up to Heaven the whites 
 of their eyes, and say, Blessed be the name of God ? 
 
 ^c^o— Odd ! 
 
 Greenhorn — It seems so indeed, yet I've something 
 
 odder to say about the famous E y Parson. On 
 
 his leaving an inn t'other day, he was requested by 
 the servant to leave something behind him. His Reve- 
 rence immediately called to mind (for his mind is an 
 immense store-house of every thing gross,) that ho 
 once read of Dean Swift's '' Wonderful Wonder of 
 Wonders," who though a stingy, griping fellow, seldom
 
 76 KU.\^>ri's's KCMO. 
 
 y^oes ot a nii;lit Id a u;iMitloinairs liouso without Icavint^ 
 somefhinij[ Inliind Idtn. Accordiiii;;^!)' his modest Reve- 
 rence called the attendant, a very decent woman, to a 
 certain room np-stairs, and said to her, " there is all 1 
 intend leavini]^ hehind me" — very much indeed to the 
 (•redit of the Parsonieal dynasty. 
 
 Echo — Nasty ! nasty ! nasty ! 
 
 Greenhorn — I could tell you still more ahout this nasty 
 fellow, but I'm in a pucker. Public opinion is so 
 chaui^cd with regard to the Parsons, that it will, I fear, 
 be impossible to butter my bread on both sides by the 
 Leviticul* ways of the Cross. Petitions will be poured 
 in ae^ainst us, as thick as hops. What will we do in 
 the meanwhile. Those rascally HoRN-BooK-men dis- 
 turbing our centuries of repose, and labouring to anni- 
 liilate our otium cum dignitafc, and to ensure us a 
 millenium of otiiun cum odio ; pestering us head and 
 ears, (the rascals !) like a bag ot'Jleas. 
 
 Echo — Fleece ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Yes, to be sure. What a set of ninny- 
 hammers must Saints Athanasius, Augustine, Chrysos- 
 tom, and the other shovel-hats of olden time, have been, 
 not to ensure the payment of their dues by a Newtown- 
 barry way of fulminating ecclesiastical censures ? What 
 unfortunate fellows. No proctors, no peelers, no 
 
 YEOMEN ! ! ! 
 
 Echo — No-i/eau-men ?t 
 
 NOTES AND tOMMEXTS. 
 
 • liy Lrvi/ica', Grccnliom nieaneth a Jewish jiriest or (iffic-^pecies 
 of Christianity. 
 
 t Most of our readers must have heard, if they have unfortunately 
 not tasted of that delicious liqueur from Martinique, called " No-yemt, 
 pronounced in plain English No-yeo." Greenhorn's friend then seeina 
 to mean that the Orange yeomanry are quite a cordial to revive the 
 drooping courage of Parsons at the publication of the Horn-Book, and 
 the iiumeruos petilioii*; sondini; to Parliament against their Reverences.
 
 Erasmus's echo. ^7 
 
 Greenhorn — No, not a single characteristic of the 
 Church MiHtaut ; for which let us pray. 
 
 Echo — Let us prey ! 
 
 Greenhorn — Heavens ! how the twelve apostles and 
 the aforesaid shovel-hats would rejoice, if they had but 
 seven fat customers of their own cloth, to sit and prate 
 the people out of their patience and money in a Roman 
 or Byzantine Parliament. 
 
 Echo — Lament ! lament ! 
 
 Chreenhorn — Yes, indeed, the whole fabric of our 
 Church is likely to tumble to its foundation, and may 
 be, we'd want something like the sword of Gideon 
 (not of Gideon Ouseley) to smite Grey and Althorpe, 
 the Terry Alts and Philistines of the Ca-binet. 
 
 Echo — Bay'nct. 
 
 Greenhorn — Right. Why shouldn't the religion of 
 the Church Militant be upheld by steel, as the Borough- 
 mongers Mere upheld by Parson Hay's sword at Man- 
 chester ? Why should a gentlemanly apostle degrade 
 himself like such beggarmen as Peter and Matthew, 
 by wielding no other weapon than a pole with a s-pike 
 on the end of it. 
 
 Echo — Pike on the end of it. 
 
 Greenhorn — To be sure, to be sure. Blessed be the 
 Church propped up by a musket, and a pole with a 
 pike on the end of it. 
 
 Echo — The end of it. 
 
 Greenhorn — Alackaday ! 1 believe " Babylon the Great 
 is fallen, is fallen." Ouk ovaQ, a\X vituq taB\ov, 6 to* 
 reraXtcrfievov iarai* 
 
 Echo — Aye, aye, 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 The aforesaid aiVy gentleman iiiiiy also mean that the "shearing 
 shepherds" will soon have no civcn or sheep under their pevuniary 
 tutelage! 
 
 • It IS not a dream, f/itl n beautiful and (rue i-ision, Cor stcncj 
 w/iich shall be consummated t
 
 78 KR.VSMUs's KCllO. 
 
 Greenhorn — 'Ev^tk-ar*) St Kai rvfijdov tn avriv Trottjant- 
 
 Echo — Am on. 
 
 [Master Grcenliorn's ^^ Parsonical Glossary" was an 
 oV\ fiwiily spocimen of CJiurch learning, /?r5< published 
 in the reign of Edward the VI. and secondlyy in the 
 time of the " Virgin Queen." It is almost needless to 
 say that it was the production of a well-known invisible 
 /land!!!] 
 
 M. C. K. 
 
 NOTE AND COMMENT. 
 
 " " Most certainli/, and tve shall raise a tomb over it." For the 
 description of the future resting-place of " Holy Church," see the 
 
 " SOXG OK Lt'CIFER."
 
 SCENES AND SKETCHES 
 
 ECCLESIASTICAL LIFE. 
 
 Be to the Poor like onic whunstane. 
 And haud their noses to the grunstane ; 
 Ply ev'ry art o' legal tliieving-, 
 No matter — stick to sound bclieviitg. 
 
 Burns
 
 SCENES AND SKETCHES 
 
 FROM 
 
 ECCLESIASTICAL LIFE. 
 
 THE CHOLERA MORBUS: AVARUS, THE POT HUNTER. 
 
 As a false report has gone abroad that the Russian 
 
 cholera had got into the village of L , in the 
 
 County , we feel great pleasure in being able, 
 
 not only to contradict the statement, but to give the full 
 particulars of the circumstance that gave rise to such a 
 report. 
 
 SCENE : 
 
 Paddy Blanchjield's cottage in the village of L ;* his 
 
 wife blowing the fire under a pot of potatoes. Enter 
 Parson Avarus, who sits down on a three-legged stool. 
 
 Parson A. — Good morrow to you, Mrs. Blanchfield -, 
 how are your husband and children ? 
 
 Peggy B. — Bravely 5 thang God an your Reverence, 
 
 * The titlies of this parish, in which there has not been a Church or 
 Resident Clergyman for one hundred years, were valued in the year 
 1829 at an averag;e of about four shillings and sixpence per acre, on 
 some of the poor ground in the province of Leinster. The owner of these 
 tithes was a pluralist, living at a distance of seventy-four miles from the 
 parish, which, it is thought, he never saw six times during his life. It 
 was not necessary that he should have a Curate in the parish, as there 
 was no Church in it, and only three Protestant families. Some time in the 
 year 1829 he died, and the parish was then transferred to a gentleman 
 living in Dublin, who does the same laOoriviis dnly as his prede<essor. 
 In 18.30 this last Pastor of the Faithful instructed his proctor to proceed in 
 the usual way of valuing and impounding, and canting heifers, pigs, pot* 
 
 M
 
 82 S( KNKS \M> SKKK IIKs PIIOM 
 
 Isii'l it past inoniin now, :iii almost (linntr tinu", phiise 
 your Ri'vcrtMU'i> ? 
 
 Parson A. — So it is, so it is; 1 forgot that it was so 
 far in \\\v day ; but now you talk of dinner time, what 
 havo yt)U in the pot? — [^Licking his Reverend lips and 
 jxitt'uig /lis Reverend stomaeh.] 
 
 I'eggt/ B. — [With a good humoured toss of her head] 
 The oi//f/ thing, phiise your Reverence — j)ratics an milk, 
 M hat we have every day in the year, barn Christmas- 
 
 anJ Iilankets. The last proctor's vfihiation was fire shillings and six- 
 pence per acre an average. Just at the same critical period the execu- 
 tor or administrator of the deceased Parson-caused law processes, of one 
 kind or other, to he served on all the farmers living in the parish, and 
 they were thus beset by the latitats of the living and the dead Parson at 
 the same time. In the fangs of a notorious village pettifogger and a 
 heartless tithe-jjroctor, several of the poor people passed their notes for 
 the amount of a most oppressive valuation of their crops, while others 
 preferred trying the law with their tormentors, which they liid to their 
 cost, for the tithe-proctor swore to his valuation, and they were every 
 man decreed for the amount thus sworn to. I met, accidentally, with 
 one of those wretched people, who held what the tithe-proctor called a 
 garden of three acres, at the rerc of his cabin, which was aJl the land he 
 held. The dead Parson's proctor valued his crops in 1829 at six shillings 
 per acre ; the living Parsons proctor valued them in 1830 at seven 
 shillings per acre. He had insproved his little farm very much by heavy 
 manuring and incessant labour, but he could not be convinced that the 
 Parson had a right to the tenth of his manure and his hard labour. He 
 accordingly refused to pay the valuation, but offered what he considered 
 a fair value for the tithe. This offer would not be accepted, and he was 
 processed by the proctors of the dead and living Parsons, and decreed. 
 The following is a copy of his account of the transaction : — 
 
 Tithe of ;; acres of wheat oats and potatoes, for 1829, £0 IS 
 Law costs . . . . . . . . . . 8 <» 
 
 Tithe of.! acres of same, for IS.-JO .. ..110 
 
 Law costs .. .. .. ,.. ..08() 
 
 £2 10 
 
 This is an average of nine shillings and fourpcnce an acre for the 
 poor mans garden, for two years ; and were it not for his care and in- 
 dustry, the ground would not be worth nine shillings and fourpcnce an 
 arrr rent.
 
 KCCLESIASTICAL LIFE. So 
 
 *lay an Easter Moiiday, whin we can add a grain iv salt, 
 an a pennerth of dip. 
 
 Parson A. — What is a pennerth of dip ? 
 
 Peggy B. — The drippings that your Honour's cook 
 sells to the neighbours ; what falls from your Reve- 
 rence's roast meat. 
 
 Parson A. — [A little fidgity.] — Do you know that 
 po-ta-toes and milk are very wholesome food — very 
 strengthening — I am surprised how any one can find 
 fault with them. 
 
 Peggy B. — Maybe, af your Honour was livin on them 
 every day in the year as we are, the sorrow taste too 
 fond ye'd be of them. 
 
 Parson A. — Irapos-si-ble, Mistress Blanchfield ! and 
 particularly when they are eaten with sweet milk. I 
 suppose it is sweet milk you have for your dimier to- 
 day. 
 
 Peggy B. — Ab-bach-asthore ! sweet milk, agrah ? 
 where wid the likes of hus get that ? No faiks, its brave 
 fresh butter-milk from Mr. Brenan's dairy. 
 
 Parson A. — Fresh butter-milk is very wholesome. — 
 Will the potatoes soon be boiled ? I would like a few of 
 them with your good fresh butter-milk. 
 
 Peggy B. — An welcome, plaise your Reverence : 
 they're fine new pink-eyes out of our own little garden. 
 
 Parson A. [Aside] — I must take a note going home, 
 that she acknowledges them to be very fine. 
 
 Peggy B. — Your })rocther 's very hard on us, plaise 
 your Reverence ; he charges ten shillings tithe, though 
 there's only half an acre in our ground. 
 
 Parson A. — [A little confused.] — Ten shillings tithe. 
 Mis-tress Blanch-field ? I dare say the potatoes are very 
 good. — [In an insinuating voice.] 
 
 Peggy B. — Indeed, faith, to tell the truth, they're 
 remarkably good ; but sure its the gift of God an our 
 own labour an manure mtuk' lliem what thev are.
 
 84 SCKNBs; AM) SKKI'CHKS PHOM 
 
 Parson A. — [Aside, while the pour woman i?; taking 
 otV the pot of ])otatocs.] — Remarkably i*"oo(l ! 1 must 
 make a note of that. Remarkably i^ootl ! ten shillings 
 only, on a erop Moitli £120, I dare say ? I see I must 
 look sharper. 
 
 Enter Paddy Blanchfield. 
 
 Paddy — [Doffing the caubeen.] — God save your Reve- 
 rence. 
 
 Parson A. — I'm glad to see you, Paddy. Where have 
 you been ? 
 
 Paddy — Scourin ditches for Mr. Cummins, plaise 
 your Reverence. 
 
 Parson A. — I dare say you have good wages ? 
 
 Paddy — Middlin, plaise your Honour: eight-pence a 
 day, widout victuals. 
 
 Peggy B. — Paddy, the praytees 'ill be could : his Re- 
 verence says he'll eat a few wid us. 
 
 Paddy — Och then musha, sure he's welcome, an a 
 thousand ^velcomcs. Arrah, Peggy, w^iy didn't you 
 fetch the clane winnec sheet an spread it undher the 
 skib? 
 
 Parson A. — Oh, never mind: use no ceremony; the 
 
 table will do very Avell. 
 
 [Here Parson A. draws his stool over to the table, 
 and faces a mug of milk which the good woman had 
 placed for him. In about twenty minutes half a stone 
 of the potatoes at his Reverence's corner of the table, 
 disappears, together with four replenishments of the 
 mug, and his Reverence, ejaculating a short thank.sgiv- 
 ing, takes his leave of the poor couple, and sets out for 
 his glebe. Next morning the proctor rushes into the 
 cabin in a great hurry.] 
 
 ScEvr, — Paddy Blanchjield and Betty his wife at breakfast. 
 Ekter, the Proctor. 
 
 Proctor — [Almost out of breath.] — I want the tithe. 
 
 Paddy — Won't you sit doAvn, Sir.
 
 ECCLESIASTICAL LIFE. 85 
 
 Proctor — No, no : I must scour the parish for the 
 tithe ! the Parson's on the last gasp. 
 
 Peggy B. — Oh, the poor masther ; what ails him ? 
 
 Proctor — You'd think he hadn't a minit to live all 
 night: he's dying of the back-door-trot ; I'm sint for 
 the tithe afore he's gone. 
 
 Peggy B. — Och, bud I knew the praytees an butter- 
 milk wouldn't agree ivid him. 
 
 Proctor — Is that it ? 
 
 Peggy B. — To be sure it is. 
 
 Proctor — Well, I must have the tithe : his Reverence 
 says your potatoes are worth a pound tithe, 
 
 Paddy — I won't have the money till Michaelmas. 
 
 Proctor — That won't do. [Seizes with holy rapidity 
 on the potato-pot, stools, blankets, &c. and sets out for 
 the glebe. Meantime, the report spreads like wildfire that 
 his Reverence has caught the cholera morbus, and the 
 parish is distracted between fright and joy, but the 
 ''^ Man of God" ultimately recovers, /^ro bono publico.^
 
 
 W'
 
 STATE 
 
 OF THE 
 
 KINGDOM OF BABYLON, 
 
 UNDER THE REIGN 
 
 OF 
 
 NEREGLISSOR. 
 
 Translated from a 7iciol ^/-discovered Fragment of the CAaldiran 
 Hi&tory ofBerosits, written on a Papt/rus MS., now in the King's 
 Library at Paris, marked No. 71,569. 
 
 Learn the future by the past of man. 
 
 Pleasurbs op Hopk. 
 
 Alas, alas! "we're fall'n on gloomy days," 
 
 When all respect for " holi/ Church" decays ; 
 
 Wh en the fierce Papists brandishing their Bibles, 
 
 With deadly aim return our pious libels ; 
 
 And Parsons reel, like C^esar's trembling bands. 
 
 With their oivn weapons pierc'd by Nervian hands : 
 
 In vain we strive against the mighty storm. 
 
 Three nations come to crush us with "Rbfohm," 
 
 Which means [Kildare-street Saints with horror hear] 
 
 We'll lose THREE MifcuoNS ANn AV HALF a year! ! ! 
 
 Extract from the Beverend Tommy Magee's new Poom, entitled, 
 "TheChuiich of Ireland in Danger !" — Athbisir, Deists 
 AND Jesuits ! ! — the Dbvil, the Pope, and Rbform 1 1 1
 
 Paris, May 27, 1831. 
 My Dear Philander, 
 
 Finding frotn your kind letter, that you 
 propose to publish, as soon as possible, a Second Part or 
 Volume of your richly-merited Satire, "Thk Parson's 
 Horn-Book," of which you were so obliging as to for- 
 ivard me a copy, and to which you are so flattering as to 
 think me worthy of being a contributor, I send by our old 
 friend ***** *j for your next appearance before the 
 public, the following translation, which I have made at 
 my leisure, of a curious fragment of the History of the 
 famous Babylonian Priest and Astronomer, Berosus. It 
 tvas lately discovered by the learned Abbe de B * * * * on 
 a roll of Papyrus, in that splendid and truly liberal In- 
 stitution, the King's Library, where 400,000 volumes and 
 75,000 MSS. are open to the jmblic free of the smallest 
 charge, unlike similar foundations in England and our 
 blessedly -governed country, where the road to knowledge, 
 as well as to Heaven, must be Macadamized with gold. I 
 think (and 1 hope I am not mistaken,) that this translation 
 will be of use to your work, from the remarkable analogy 
 I have been able to point out in the shape of notes, be- 
 tween the political and ecclesiastical circumstances meti- 
 iio7ied by the Chaldcean historian, and those of the jcnited 
 kingdoms of Great Britain and the province of Ireland 
 at present. Hojring you won't "forget to remember" me 
 to Fion, O'More, and all my brothers of the Comkt Club, 
 I remain, my dear Philander, 
 
 Yours, very sincerely, 
 
 * * * * *'* * * * -* iH: * .)(: *
 
 THE 
 
 KINGDOM OF BABYLON.(l) 
 
 #*^^********?*»f********** 
 
 (2) 
 
 A.M. 3444.(3) XXXVI. — As I have at lenefth arrived 
 
 iEra of the Assynans, '^ 
 
 1830-31 ! at the reign of Neriglissor, I shall give 
 an account of the internal politics, and the religious 
 dissensions of the Babylonian Empire, which will com- 
 pel me to take a retrospective view of events, the im- 
 portant military transactions of the preceding Mo- 
 narchs having obliged me to postpone this part of my 
 narrative till the present period. 
 
 The Senate of Baby. XXXVII. WhcU King NcriglisSOF 
 
 Ion divided into two 
 
 Councils. succeeded to the Crown of Babylon, on 
 
 the death of Evil Merodach, who had " retidered him- 
 self so odious by his debauchery and other extrava- 
 
 NOTES AND COMMUNTS. 
 
 (1) In Moore's beautiful lines comtnencing" Yes, sad oneof Sion," the 
 Irish are compared to the Jews, and their Enjjlisli oppressors to the 
 Babylonians, and this seems to be a very appropriate appellation for 
 the latter, accordintr to those who call London the " Modern Babylon ;" 
 but of course no other Babylon could be alluded to by Berosus but the 
 ancient. 
 
 (2)Immediately previous to the Chapters I have been able to decypher 
 and translate, there were some obscurely intelligible fragments in the 
 MS. but not of sufficient importance for publication. 
 
 (.*)) This is also the year of the world assigned for Neriglissor's as- 
 cension to the Throne of Babylon by Hollin, {/Intient Uislory, vol. 1, 
 page 140 — Bcll'if cdHivn.\ The .-era of the Atsytiam:^ rcijuires no toni- 
 mcnt ' '
 
 92 TMK KINGDOM OK BABYLON. 
 
 g<inces,^\i) till' kini^doiu was governed by a great na- 
 tional council, \\ liosc name meant (in the old Assyrian 
 tongue, ■vviiich was always spoken by the court and the 
 nobles till (he reign ol" Warded 111.) that all its mem- 
 bers were entitled to speak their minds freely while it 
 Avas assembled. (5) This great council sat in two se- 
 parate buildings, the first appropriated to the Babylo- 
 nian nobility, all of Avhom, whatever might be their 
 general stupidity, or their particular incapacity for 
 legislation, were, nevertheless, acknowledged to be 
 " law-makers" by right of birth ; and the second, ap- 
 pointed for the use of a number of persons of inferior 
 rank, su(;h as merchants, lawyers, manufacturers, landed 
 proprietors, and the sons of Grandees, who till their 
 fathers died were only Lords by courtesy. By this body 
 taxes were levied and appropriated, and the affairs of 
 the public principally managed. 
 
 ^^onTcoS"^*" XXXVIII.— According to a 'maxim 
 universally acknowledged for ages among the Babylo- 
 nians, that " the people should never be taxed Avithout 
 being represented" in the great national council, which 
 was grounded on the equitable principle, that the payers 
 of money should always know whi/ they pay it — those 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (4) Did Evil-Merodach ever expend £100 for a chair, and £4000 
 for a sideboard, while hundreds of his Babylonian subjects were 
 starving? Did he wallow, at the age of between sixty and seventy, in 
 the secluded sensuality of a Tiberius? And did he then find a tilled 
 pander to the gratification of his adulterous appetite ? History does not 
 inform us, but we have given the character of Neriglissor's predecessor 
 in lloUin's words, as by some strange? chance they happen to be ex- 
 actly the same as those of Rerosus. 
 
 (5) Thus, the derivation of the Babylonians for the name of their Se- 
 nate, was the same in signification as Ihf French one given by several of 
 our legal antiquaries for the word I'arliament ; and it appears that some 
 dialect not spoken in the time of Berosus, was the Assyrian Court 
 tongue till the reign of fVarded III. as French was the Court language 
 in England till the reisn of onr Edward III 1 ! !
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 93 
 
 members who were appointed to manage the business of 
 the empire, in what was generally called in Babylon the 
 "Lower House," were supposed to be chosen for that 
 purpose by the free and unbiassed votes of their country- 
 men. This, indeed, was originally the case, but there hav- 
 ing been no addition made to the number of members 
 since between the years 1670 and 80,(6) of the aera of the 
 Assyrians, and several of the places that anciently pos- 
 sessed sufficient wealth and population, to entitle them to 
 send representatives to the "Lower House" of Babylon, 
 having dwindled into poverty and insignificance, while 
 other modern, rich, and numerously inhabited towns, were 
 not permitted to return members — the old and decayed 
 places, some of which were still privileged to have one, 
 and many even two or three voices in the Babylonian 
 Senate, gradually fell into the hands of one hundred and 
 fifty-four Lords, or men of fortune, on or near whose 
 estates they were, and even into the power of the Jews, 
 that during the Captivity were allowed to enrich them- 
 selves by commerce. (7) Thus, by dint of bribery, cor- 
 ruption, and the persecution of every poor and indus- 
 trious man, who was honest enough to vote against 
 their slavish candidates, these aristocratic or monied 
 usurpers controlled the will of the nation, and provided 
 for their own relatives and dependants out of the public 
 treasurv. 
 
 NOTES AND COMJIENTS. 
 
 (C) Newark was the last liorough made by the Crown in comparatively 
 modern times. It was created by the charter of Charles 11. ; and it 
 would appear from the text that the Babylonians hiid also a royal 
 Borough manufacturer. 
 
 (7)Lord Chesterfield complains in some part of his works, that the Jews 
 raised the price of Boroughs on the nobility, from two thousand to be- 
 tween five and six thousand pounds. If his Lordship had read this frag- 
 ment of Berosus, he would have seen "there in iiof/iing^ jtciv beneath 
 the sun '."
 
 94 TJIK KINOnoM OK UAllYI.ON. 
 
 Miis>acro ly 11.0 .i.s \XX1X. — Tliis injusticf and nciulu- 
 
 (c'r'i^*''""" ' ^' tiou continued fop m any years in spite 
 
 ■^raoiiY^^^Apriau.. ^^f^l^^^ complaiuts of the conseiiuently 
 
 impoverished people, wlio, near a town, called in the 
 Assyrian lanij^uai^e, Chestkuman, and by others Loo- 
 ter pk, (8) were cruelly slaughtered and dispersed, and 
 their leader committed to prison by a large force of horse 
 and foot, merely because they peaceably met to petition 
 the Babylonian Government for a restoration of what 
 none but those aristocratic oppressors and plunderers, 
 of which it M'as composed, Averc audacious enough to 
 deny to be their just rights. At length,in the commence- 
 ment of the reign of Neriglissor, Lingtonwell,(9) 
 Lingtonweii deposed a Celebrated warrior, who was then Grand 
 
 from the office of • • i i i • i rri 
 
 urand Vizier. Vizicr, or pmicipal Lord of the Trea- 
 sures of the empire,(10) was forced to resign his post 
 for saying in the council room of the Lords, called the 
 " Upper House" in Babylon, that there was no change 
 whatever needed in the representation of the " Loweii 
 ^"^ ^in'his'lliaee"^''^ HousE." Hc was succecdcd in the Go- 
 jEia. of the^Assynans, yj^i-mupi^t ]yy \^[^ principal Opponents, the 
 
 Lords Yerg, Eproutla andMAHGUoRB.(ll) 
 
 TUc igrwhi and iiyto XL. — At this time, and for centuries 
 
 factions. ' 
 
 ])revious, the Babylonians were divided into two factions, 
 
 XOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (S) My friend (he Abbe dc B * * * * who acquired a perfect knowledge 
 of the Eiijjlish languajje, politics and history, during his exile from 
 France, previous to ti)o restoration of " Louis the Desi'rcrf.'" has inge- 
 niously remarked, tliat by a slight transposition of the syllables, com- 
 posing those Assyrian names, Chesterman and Looterpe, they make the 
 memorable words " Manchester and Pelerloo.'' The Abbe has not 
 been less ingenious in the anagrams he has given of all the rest of the 
 Babylonian proper names. 
 
 ('■^)frcUmglon!.' 
 
 (10) Quere— " First Lord of the Treasury'' ! ! 
 
 (11) Grey, Althorpe, and Brougham ! !
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 95 
 
 known by the appellation of Igwhis and Rytoes.(12) 
 The former of these parties, when one of their adhe> 
 rents was not Grand Vizier, were always loud in op- 
 position to the measures of the Rytoes, M'hose maxims 
 Injustice (uid oppres- of Government they justly blamed, as 
 
 sion of the Uytoes ^ 
 
 when in office. being Calculated to arrest the march of 
 all mental or political improvement, by a blind and 
 stubborn adherence to ancient abuses, in opposition to 
 the rapidly and in such a state of things, the alarmingly 
 expanding intellect of the nation. The Igwhis also 
 warmly denounced the despotic laws which the Ritoes 
 caused to be enacted and put in force, by the nojninal 
 representatives of the people in their interest, in order 
 to crush any demonstrjition of a ivritten opposition on 
 the part of the public, to the glaring corruptions in 
 every department of the Government. Nor were their 
 censures less severe against the heavy penalties which 
 the Ritoes laid upon the communication of all sorts of 
 political knowledge, so that one of the best weekly pub- 
 lications of Babylon, named " Rbnimaxe,"(13) which 
 contained eight rolls of papyrus previously taxed, paid to 
 the treasury an additional duty of four out of the seven 
 oboli,(14) for which it was sold, thus leaving the pro- 
 
 N0TE8 AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (12) Whigs and Tories ! " Strange enough it is, " adds the Abbe de 
 B • • • •, " that when the name of the latter parly is written in the sin- 
 " gular number, it is spelled llyto ; and Rrtoes in the plural : as to the 
 " word Igwhis it contains an I too much for the word Whigs -but as an 
 " I stands (or number one, which the Whigs are so anxious to provide 
 " for when in power, this additional letter is of little consequence, ex- 
 
 " cept to the nation ai ivhose expense they are permitted to do so." 
 
 What satirical fellows those Frenchmen arc ! ! 
 
 (13) An Assyrian word, meaning " Examiner'" in English, when read 
 backwards. 
 
 (14) Obolus, the Greek for a penny. As Berosus wrote his work al 
 Athens, he very properly turned the Habylonian coin into oboli and 
 darics, which were the most familiar to his readers. The durii, so called 
 from one of the Dariusts, by whose orders they weio (list struik, was a
 
 fK) 
 
 IMF. KINGDOM OK UVFiVl.ON. 
 
 priotor only tliior oboli Jioni ivory copy to rciiumoratc 
 liiiu lor tlic (iino and caitital lie cxpeiidi'd, and to de- 
 fray the expense of writers and workmen, liut though 
 the Igwhis, and particularly Maiinkd, (15) a lawyer, 
 were such vehement denouncers of all burthens upon 
 public instruction, no sooner did Lord Ykrc;, the 
 head of tiieir party, become Grand Vizier, than they not 
 ''trX''when'f,; only refused to abolish these obnoxious 
 
 power, thoiich pre- ^..4. .1 • r t • \ iii 
 
 liousii/ cmsaicd. statutcs, tlic passHig oi wluch enabled 
 them to excite such violent popular odium agtiinst their 
 adversaries, but Mahned continued the very prosecu- 
 tion commenced by LiNGTONWELL against the famous 
 Tebboc,(16) the favourite Avriter of the Babylonian far- 
 mers and labouring classes. On this occasion, however, 
 Mahned was signally cind disgracefully defeated. — 
 JJorecuHon'ofTEBBoc! Tebboc provcd himsclf to be as good a 
 laivt/er as he was a farmer, while poor Mahned ap- 
 peared to be as little of one as he ivas of the other I 
 Discontent of the Ba- XLI. — Meantime the Babylonian peo- 
 
 bylonians at the , , . n • ■• 
 
 enormous taxation plc wcrc bccomc univcrsally indignant 
 
 to which they were • . 1 • 1 • 1 
 
 wantonly subjected, at bcmg subjcctcd to pay immcnse aud 
 unprecedented taxes on every necessary and luxury of 
 life, for what they knew to be a falsely-alleged necessity 
 of defraying the annual interest of a public debt of 
 900,000,000 of gold darics, which was formerly con- 
 tracted to defray the expenditure of Nebuchadnezzar's 
 wars in Palestine, India, Egypt, Africa, and particularly 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 Persian gold coin of about one guinea in value, according to the English 
 Universal History. 
 
 (15) A Dcukam of that day, who when out of office, no Houht, opposed 
 the restraints laid by the Kahylonian Castleroaghs and Liverpools,'on the 
 communication of /langcroiia political knowledge. 
 
 (10) A Cobfjrt\ [t] no less than 2391 years ago! Well, wonders will 
 nrver cease I !
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 97 
 
 Spain. (17) They were so convinced that these intoler- 
 able impositions on public happiness and industry were 
 levied to support, in extravagance, vice and luxury, the 
 idle and unprincipled relatives and dependants of the 
 hundred and fifty-four usurpers of the people's right to 
 return their own representatives, that they called aloud 
 for a reformation of the abuses of the Babylonian senate, 
 in a tone too universal and too determined to be safely re- 
 fused. Yet notwithstanding the danger of opposing the 
 publicdemandfor reform,these one hundred and fifty-four 
 monopolists of injustice and peculation, knowing that if 
 this long-desired measure passed, their reign of power 
 Conspiracy against and plunder wouUl bc at an end, united 
 
 Lord Yerg in the __ 
 
 Lower House of the all their Strength in the Lower House 
 
 Babylonian senate 
 
 defeated by the King, agaiust Lord Ykrg's pro{)osal to comply 
 with the will of the nation, and endeavoured to remove 
 him from the Viziriat by refusing to vote him the sup- 
 plies necessary to defray the expenses of government. 
 But King Neriglissor disappointed the interested ma- 
 lice of the enemies of his favourite Vizier, and imme- 
 diately dissolved the assembly of these corruptionists, 
 in order to enable his oppressed subjects to return none 
 but the advocates of legislative reformation, to the 
 
 NOTES ANr> COMMEXTS. 
 
 (17) The J3abylonian wars in Palestine are recorded in Scripture, as 
 the defence of Acre, in the san)e country, l)y 8ir Sidnoy Smyth, is de- 
 scribed by Sir Robert Wilson, the famous Exreiovn\er,n\M\p<i)s(m-mi\- 
 lignerof Napoleon. According to Mavor's Universal History, India was 
 a part of the Babylonian empire, and we dare say the Assyrian Wellesleys 
 had some hard lighting with the Poriisses and Tippos of that renowned l*e- 
 ninsula: but Nebuchadnezzar was more fortunate than onr Sir Ualph 
 Abercrombie in living to subdue Kgypt, since, if we may believe Josepiius 
 and other Jewish authors, (of equal ver»<it;/\ !) cited in INIariaiia's History 
 of Spain, [Book I. chap. v. page 1 l.— Steveiis'stranslatiou, London, l(>!)!>,| 
 the King of Babylon farexceeded otir Kxmou rir, and equalled evon VV n.- 
 LIN'OTON, by conquering all Northern Africa, in addition to Spain. This 
 jfreat warrior got mad towards the end of liis life, ///e Cileorjfe 111 but 
 " thtre all H/(ene>ss ends Oettvcen Ihfpair," as Byron says. 
 
 o
 
 98 IHK KlNt.DO.M OK KABYI.ON. 
 
 national assembly at liabylon ; and this was done 
 wherever it conhl be possibly effected. 
 "'"'1runbyu.>r"'''' X LI I.— Nor was the Babylonian em- 
 ''''""''mankind!"" "' pi'^e loss agitated by religious than poli- 
 tical dissensions. The original worship of the As- 
 syrians, as well as that of mankind in general at the 
 coniinencenient of the world, consisted (as far as we 
 can learn) in the belief of one great and powerful, but 
 incomprehensible Being, whose best adoration was the 
 practice of individual virtue and general benevolence. 
 Why changed. But ill procesfs of tiuic tlic vulgar of all 
 
 countries, for whose gross and uncidtivated minds 
 such a religion was too rational, and the interested 
 impostors and tyrannical sovereigns, for whose avarice 
 and usurpations it was too simple to be a source of 
 ])rofit and terror, gradually introduced many false, 
 instead of one true Deity, (for truth is always one) and 
 presented these lucrative fictions of their own brains as 
 objects for public veneration, through the attractive 
 ^'"in^AlsTria^lnd'the medium of painting and statuary. Hence 
 toll!''""'"''^' '^°"'^- sprung Zabianism, the general belief 
 of Assyria and the surrounding nations ; according to 
 the doctrines of which the Supreme Deity was believed 
 to have committed to the numerous Genii who inhabit 
 the stars, the power of protecting those who prayed to 
 them for their assistance. (18) At length, after profess- 
 
 NOTES AND COJIMENT.S. 
 
 (18) Zabianism, or the worship of the stars, says the Abbe de B*"', 
 possesses the same analogy to Catholicity by its mnneious objects of 
 devotioiiy that the Babylonian worship of Bel presents to Protestantism, 
 by the adoration of one Divinity o/i/y, in which that faith consists. 
 But, adds the Abbe, whatever resemblance is observable between Ca- 
 tholicity and Zabianism, only shows how busy the evil spirit is to 
 create such a likeness, and should not excite any timorous or uncha* 
 rilable apprehensions concerning the orthodoxy of those who only 
 remark those coincidences in order to put an end to the horrible system 
 of ecclesiastical rapine and carnage that devastates unhappy Ireland.
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 99 
 
 iiig this belief for about 900 years, the Babylonians 
 Supplanted in Baby- returned to a s^reater, thousrh not a 
 
 loma by the doc- o ' >3 
 
 Srivfac"*^^^'*''^^** complete conformity with their primi- 
 ^'^"StV^eo'/"^'' tive worship of the Supreme Deity, 
 Avhom they called Bel, being persuaded to abolish 
 Zabianism, and to banish its priests by the advice of the 
 followers of two celebrated reformers ; the first of 
 whom, Rehtul,(19) began to preach against Zabianism 
 in the year 1517 of the aera of the Assyrians ; and the 
 second, called Nivlac,(20) shortly after. 
 
 Mesopotamia refuses XLIIl. But thoUgll ZabiaUlSm WaS 
 
 to forsake the old ,,.,,, i t-i • i • i i 
 
 faith. abolished by the Babylonians, the people 
 
 of Mesopotamia, (21) an insular kingdom subject to 
 the Crown of Babylon, unanimously refused to abandon 
 that ancient faith, or to deny the spiritual supremacy 
 claimed over every member of the religion of Issa(22) 
 by the chief pontiff of the Zabians, called in the Baby- 
 lonian tongue " Epop,"(23) which means ^'father." But 
 in order to give an intelligible account of the misery, 
 hatred and bloodshed, which these religious differences 
 brought upon the unhappy Mesopotamians, it will be 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (19) Lutber! 
 
 (20) Calvin : '. 
 
 (21) Mesopotamia, an extensive jajoi-mec of Asia, the Greek name 
 of which denotes, between the rivers, (from fiicoi2 and Trorrr/tut;.) It was 
 situate between the Euphrates and the Tigris «••••♦* The modern 
 appellation given to this Country by the Arabians is of the same signi- 
 fication : they call it isle, or, in their language, Aldgezera******. 
 Mesopotamia is celeJ)rated in Scripture as being the first dwelling or 
 MEN AFTER THE DELLOE. — [Lemprierc's C/assicoi Dictionary, p. 505-0, 
 Barker's edition. \ 
 
 "We find this Asiatic island is called ^province," said the Abbe 
 " de B • * • *, as Ireland has been since the year IHOO ! and its position 
 with respect to the ancient liabylon," condnuod the Abbe, " is the same 
 as that of Ireland with respect to the iuudirn 1 ! 
 
 (22) The Oriental name for Jchus. 
 C23) Pope!
 
 KK) 
 
 lllli KINGDOM OK HAllYI.ON. 
 
 first necossaiy lo relate how that people became a por- 
 tion of the liahylonian doiniiiions. 
 "'^STl^Z XLIV.-Mesopotamia, a fertile couu- 
 !.y'ri":K^^^^^^^^ all sides with what one 
 
 of its own writers calls an immense fosse or fortified 
 ditch always full of watcr,(24) lies to the west of Baby- 
 lon. It is alleged by its native annalists to have been 
 one of the first kingdotns inhabited after the subsiding 
 of (he great Jlood, which once destroyed the wicked in- 
 habitants of this world, (25) according to the sacred books 
 of Sesom;(26) and notwithstanding the extensive de- 
 struction of their records at various periods by different 
 invaders, but especially by the Babylonians, the Meso- 
 ])otaniians have preserved a regular account of the reigns 
 of their aboriginal Princes for several centuries prior 
 to the Babylonian conquest, so that, according to the 
 opinion of a great Assyrian antiquarian, Nedcam,(27) 
 " all other nations compared to 3fesopotanna, appear as 
 of yesterday." Before the landing of the Babylonians 
 it was divided into four provinces, each of which had 
 its King, who, though independent in liis own domi- 
 nions, was tributary to a chief or supreme Monarch. 
 In this manner Mesopotamia flourished for many ages, 
 till in the year 1169 of this tiera of Iss a or the Assyrians, 
 DoMRED,(28) one of the provincial Kings, being driven 
 
 NOTES AND COJIMEXTS.' 
 
 (24) Some writer like Colonel Philip Roche Fernioy, a dangerous 
 author, whose work, says the Abbe de B * * • *, no ^?ig-^o- Irishmen 
 should read for fear of becoming an Hiberno-ln^hmnn ! ! ! 
 
 ('25) According to several authorities cxiftA by honest Jeoffry Keating, 
 Ireland was not only inhabited " two and twenty years before Abraham 
 was horn," besides being visited by a messenger of Nion, thesonof Pelus, 
 only 140 years after the deluge j but it was peopled full two hundred 
 years previous to that miraculous epoch 1 1 \Hiistory of Ireland, vol, i, 
 p. .0), oh anct29 — Christie's edition.} 
 
 (26) Moses! 
 
 (27) Camden. 
 
 (25) Dermod.
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 101 
 
 into exile for intriguing with the wife of a neighbouring 
 Prince, applied to RynehII. (29) theBabylonianMonarch, 
 to restore him to his Crown ; upon which, Ryneh, 
 without considering the flagrant injustice of such an 
 expedition, procured a decree for that purpose from 
 the then Chief Pontiff, or Epop of the Zabian faith,(30) 
 which was at that period the religion of Babylon, 
 embarked on board a well equipped fleet, landed with- 
 ^raof the^Assyrians, ^yj. opposition, entered the capital Lin- 
 DUB,(31) and subdued the whole island. 
 The native princes re- XLV. — But whcn the uativc Princcs, 
 
 lapse into their an- ' 
 
 for^'oo yeSl?'*""'^ after the departure of Ryneh, had re^ 
 covered from the sudden alarm into which they were 
 thrown by this unexpected incursion of the Babylonian 
 arms, they withdrew the allegiance they had so precipi- 
 tately pledged to the invaders, whom they confined to 
 the capital and a few cities along the coasts, and re- 
 lapsed into their old independence, making peace and 
 war with each other, and with the Babylonians, but 
 with the most silly neglect, never juiniiig in a common 
 league against that usurping power which they could 
 have easily demolished hy one general effort. {^62) In 
 this state Mesopotamia continued until about the year 
 1580 of the aera of the Assyrians. 
 Ryneh VIII., his cdu- XLVI. — At that tlmc Ryn EH VI1I.(33) 
 
 cation, and defence 
 
 of the epop's supre- y, monstcr of crucltv and lust, sat 
 
 macy ; his quarrel ■' 
 
 with Mentcie vii.; q,j l\^^. thronc of Babylon. As he was 
 
 his abolition of Za- •' 
 
 rcSus ^"fers'e^u! Originally intended to be the first Arch- 
 tions in Babylon. ^^j^gus of the kingdom,(34) the next 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (28) A Babylonian Henry II. exclaims the Abbe de B » * * • ! ! 
 
 (30) The Adrian IV. of his day! ! 
 
 (31) Dublin !! 
 
 (.32) Kxattly what Leland says of (he Irish Ohirftains ! ! 
 
 f33) Henry VIII.! 
 
 (34) What a Strang" tointidfntc between these Kings of Babylon and
 
 lO'J IHK KIN(.l>OM OK BABYLON. 
 
 [)o>i in (liij^iiity to llwit of monarch, he bchcNod in 
 all the doctrines of Zabianisni, and particularly in the 
 supremacy claimed by the Efop of that faith, which he 
 even wrote a book in defence of, at^ainst the famous 
 Rehtul ;(35) but, having quarrelled with Mkntclk Vll. 
 (36) for not allowing him to divorce a virtuous wife to 
 whom he had been married upwards of seventeen years, 
 and to take a younger one in her ])lace, whom he was 
 afterwards obliged to behead for adultci7,(37) Rynkh 
 made the Babylonians throw off the supremacy of 
 MENTCLBVlI.and his successors, and thus prepared the 
 way for the religious innovations advocated by Rehtul 
 and NivLAC. These opinions prevailed in Babylon to 
 the almost entire exclusion of the ancient Avorship of 
 the Zabians, several of whom this capricious tyrant 
 burnt for not acknowleding him to be their Epop, or 
 chief Pontiff; while he bound to the same stake the 
 disciples of Rrhtul andNivLAC for not interpreting the 
 Sacred Books of Issa as he wished, or more exactly 
 speaking, for not believing in all the doctrines of 
 Zabianism, except the only one which he rejected. 
 Infamous hypocrisy, XLVI. — The principal maxim of the 
 
 cruelty, and spolia- ... ^, j ^i ^ i-iu* 
 
 tion committed hy rcUgiou ot IssA, and that which his ene- 
 
 the Priests of Bd in . i • i i i • i •, ••, 
 
 Mesopotamia. mics ncvcr deniccl that he practised while 
 
 on earth, is, that a professor of his faith can only attain 
 eternal happiness after death, by a life of poverty, suf- 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 England; the former of whom appears to have been destined to be the 
 Archimagus of Babylon, as Henry VIII. was intended to have been 
 made Archbishop of Canterbury, if his elder brother Arthur had not 
 died before his accession to the Crown. 
 
 (35; On wliich account, we presume, his Assyrian Majesty was also 
 called " Defender of t lie Faith" ! ! 
 
 (36) A Zabian Clement VII. j how strange! 
 
 (37) It is a pity Berosus does not give the name of this Jnna Bullen 
 of antiquity ! !
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 103 
 
 fering, humility, and benevolence towards his fellow- 
 creatures. Yet the priests of Bel, (38) whom the 
 Babylonians forced upon the Mesopotamians against 
 their will, and who hypocritically set themselves up as 
 reformers of what they called the abuses and errors of 
 Zabianism, which they alleged to have been introduced 
 by its crafty Epop, in order to fill his coffers and those 
 of his followers — these impostors, as I may justly call 
 them, seized by force on the lands and wealth allotted 
 for the support of Zabianism and the maintenance of 
 the poor by their ancestors ; deprived the destitute of 
 the share to which they were entitled, and got laws 
 made, enabling them to shoot every Mesopotamian, 
 Avhatever his creed or misery might be, who, in addition 
 to the immense mass of plunder already mentioned, re- 
 sisted the payment of the tenth part of the fruits of his 
 hard labour and honest industry to pamper a greedy and 
 avaricious priesthood, in whose faith he did not believe, 
 and who moreover devoted the oppressed Mesopotamians, 
 their priests and their religion, to eternal perdition. (.39) 
 Thus, was a baneful system of sacerdotal tyranny 
 allowed to oppress not only the great majority of the 
 people of Mesopotamia, who were Zabians, but also the 
 dissent 'mgioWowQY^ of REHTULandNivLAC in that coun- 
 try, who were more numerous than the worshippers of 
 Bel, and who had, as well as the Zabians, to support 
 their own Magi by voluntary subscriptions. 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (38) The Parsons of that day. One Daniel discovered the imposture 
 and caused the destruction of the Priests of Hel in old Babylon ; and it 
 is to be hoped that another Daniel will soon be able to do as much for 
 their successors, in a more modern city of that namc\ ! 
 
 (39) No doubt, those " damnable and idolatrous" Mesopotamians 
 were blessed with many a battle of Newtownbarry and Skibbereen, by 
 their law-established teachers of tithe-collectinj? orthodoxy ! ! !
 
 104 riiR KiN<;noM of hahylon. 
 
 Ti,cinMdion,anrt u... XLVll.— Bv persccutiiiiT at first the 
 i\Tci-s'b%b[cMi'cy nieinbers of every sect who <litl not 
 of Hftbyion niiu Mc- attciul theu' wovsliii) ; (40) by inanai;ini^ 
 
 sopotamiailiirinBSOO , 1 ■ 1 1 ' 1 • .• 
 
 years. to pei'suade the (leluded population oi 
 
 Bahvlon, and a considerable number even of that sensi- 
 ble class of people in Mesopotamia called Seceders or 
 Dissenters, that if there were not some predominattt 
 and enormously endowed Priesthood upheld by the 
 State, the religion of Issa would be certainly ruined, 
 though it is universally known that that religion was 
 founded, in spite of the hostile government of its time, 
 by the son of a poor carpenter and twelve barefooted 
 fishermen, on the ruins of a wealthy Establishment ; (41) 
 
 NOTES AXD COMMnXTS. 
 
 (40) The Puritans, Quakers, and Presbyterian .Scoldi of tliose times, 
 for no doubt there was some determined nation in the Babylonian em- 
 pire that knew how to deal with its compulsory pastors, the mitred 
 Priests of Bel, in the cnnelufiive manner mentioned by Jack Lawless : 
 "The Scotch," says Jack, "managed their Bishops properly — the;/ 
 did not 'petition them for a redress of grievances — no, but they knoched 
 out their braitis" I I 
 
 (41) It is really astonishing to meet with sucli numbers of intelligent 
 persons as one may every day hear saying, " I disagree as much as you 
 do. Sir, with the doctrines of the Establisiiment ; but. Sir, there must be 
 some system of Christianity supported by the State, or religion in general 
 would fall to pieces. ' There never was more wretched or unmean- 
 ing cant than this. Surely the religion of a Parson is of no more use 
 to a Roman Catholic or a Dissenter who never attends a latv church, 
 than that of a Priest of Jupiter or a Mahometan Imaum, would be. The 
 fact is — religion, politically speaking, should be considered as nothing 
 I»ut a profession or a business: every man who calls for the assistance 
 of a priest of any sect, has a right to pay him for the time and trouble 
 which he requires from him, just as he would fee his doctor or attorney 
 for their services ; but, clearly, the man who does not make use of a 
 Clergyman, has no more right to support one than a person who always 
 goes barefoot would have to be charged by a shoemaker for boots and 
 shoes which he never wore. Besides, this argument in favour of an 
 Established Church is in direct opposition to not only our Saviour's 
 regulations with regard to religion, but, inasmuch as it advocates the 
 plunder of all those who dissent from a Church which can give them
 
 THE KINGDOM OP BABYLON. 
 
 105 
 
 by pretending to be in tlie greatest fear of the peaceable 
 and disarmed Zabians of Mesopotamia, whom they 
 robbed of their properties, and whom they endeavoured 
 to keep for ever under the yoke of oppression and 
 cruelty, by preventing them from educating their chil- 
 dren, under the severest penalties ; by procuring the 
 most insulting and barbarous laws to be enacted against 
 the virtuous and inoffensive Magi of the Zabians ; by 
 practising every injustice that bigotry, intolerance, and 
 avarice could suggest, in the name of the peculiar reli- 
 gion of mildness and poverty ; and at the same time 
 pretending to be such zealous advocates for its belief 
 and practice, that they fined and imprisoned any one, 
 however good his morals might be, that said he dis- 
 believed it. By these means, and by every art that 
 interested villainy and imposture could suggest, the 
 priests of Bel were allowed to draw the enormous 
 yearly sum of 5,500,000 darics from Babylonia, and 
 3,500,000 darics from Mesopotamia, making in all 
 9,000,000 of darics, or in other words, more money 
 than was sufficient for the support of the teachers ot 
 IssA in all the other nations of the earth. (42) But for 
 
 NOTi;s AN'l) COMMCXTS. 
 
 no return for the money which it deprives them of, it is also a manifest 
 violation of the dictates of all natural justice. Now, our Saviour either 
 was or he was not an impostor ; if he was, let us throw off his re- 
 ligion, and live according: to the law of nature, which tells us that 
 forcing his property from any man without j^'ivinu him an equivalent 
 for what is taken, is notiiing^ but robbery; and if, as we believe, 
 our Saviour was not an impostor, instead of advocatinj^' an unjust state 
 supremacy for any body of clergy, let us leave every (Church to be 
 maintained by its own members, as he directed, and as every rule «>f 
 justice and morality points out. 
 
 (42) This is a fact that cannot be too often reiterate<l. I>ike a <lrop 
 of water falling continually on the head, which though su( h a triflinir 
 annoyance at first, will, as Hnron remarks, ultitnatcly rausi- the aculest 
 torture and death ; this {,'Hlliiig truth slifniltl be dinned intu the ears of <»ur 
 
 H
 
 llHi llli: KIN<.I)()M »>|. ll.VHYrON. 
 
 ''''s":'S1^m"' ' "^*'"'" >*''"'^ |>lVvi»aiS U. tlu- ptM-iod of 
 
 which I am \\ ritiiii;;', the j)r(>j)U' »)!' both countries be- 
 came so wcW convinced of tlie ulariny^ injustice either 
 of beinp: forced to pay a priesthood, with whose doc- 
 trines the majority of them disajj^rced, or of being 
 (•()mj)ened by hiw to give any [)ortion of their pro- 
 perty to any teachers of religion whatsover, that the 
 iiio priests of bk. be- priests of Bel became the most inveterate 
 
 come the most vio- 
 lent opponents of encmics of i)oi)ular rights, beincr fully 
 
 any reform in tlic ' ' o :» r> j 
 
 Habyionian senate, awarc that if the uuitcd senate of Ba- 
 bylon and Mesopotamia was reformed, they would be 
 reduced, /i/,e the founder of their faith and his disciples, 
 to subsist only on the contributions of their own 
 flocks : and so far did this indecent spirit of opposition 
 proceed, that one of their ])ody, named Yah,(43) was a 
 ''ber,'^''con/,I,'andTin prlncipal leader in the slaughter of the 
 
 ere o/chcstcrmaiK^" liabyloniau people at Chesterman, not- 
 Avithstanding the solemn and repeated injunctions of 
 IssA to his followers, never to draw a sword, but to 
 submit to every injury sooner than spill one drop of 
 blood. 
 
 ^'"'™y"„tuos'^'"'"'' XLVIII.— The chief defender in Ba- 
 bylon of this detested system of corruption in govern- 
 ment, and of rapacity, massacre and extortion in the 
 
 NOTES AM) COMMr.NTS. 
 
 " Episcopal Mammoths" and liloated Pluralists, till the land is delivered 
 from those pampered vultures. When Darius heard of the burning 
 of Sardis by the Athenians, he told his pajjes, lest he should forget 
 1(1 destroy Athens, to repeat to him constantly, " Oh Kinj?, remember the 
 Athenians." It is almost needless to state that we heartily wish that some 
 of the royal pages so well paid by the public, would say to his ISIajesty 
 William IV. every morning and evening, " (Mi King, remember that 
 numbers of your subjects in Ireland arc pining in misery or dying of 
 starvation, while the revenues of the Establislied Church are far greater 
 than those of all the Christian Churches in the rest of the world." 
 
 (4.)) Yah spelled liackwards, says the Aljbe de IJ., makes II .\\,ihe 
 sanctified cut-throat of the abominable massacre of .August, 1819.
 
 THE KINGDOM OK BAKYLON. 
 
 107 
 
 name of religion, was Doctor YiiHTUos,(44) chief poet 
 to King Neriglissor, and his two predecessors on the 
 throne. The Doctor was a principal contributor to a 
 work published in Babylon every three inoons,(45) in 
 defence of CAcry exisfhig because profitahle abuse to 
 his patrons, the monopolizers of political power, and 
 the idle and avaricious sinecurists of the "Church of 
 Bel." This renegade, as he was once called in the Ba- 
 bylonian senate,(46) commenced his literary career by 
 writing seditious verses in praise of regicides, the most 
 remarkable of which effusions Mas a poem called after the 
 celebrated Persian blacksmith, who revolted against his 
 sovereign Zohac ;(47) but being afterwards induced by 
 two hundred darics a year and a cask of wine, the salary 
 allowed to the King's poet, this satirist of monarchs be- 
 came their pensioned flatterer, and from being a licen- 
 tious and seditious advocate of liberty, suddenly became 
 one of the most unblushing defenders of despotism in 
 every form and in every nation. 
 
 "'SSiia!''^'' ite XLIX.— Meantime the greatest spirit 
 ^ra on'ssa, 1831! of political excitemcnt and dissatisfac- 
 tion prevailed in Lindub, the capital of Mesopotamia, 
 and indeed all over that country ; the reason of which 
 was as follows : — When Ryneh II. King of Babylon 
 invaded Mesopotamia, he bestowed on its Babylonian 
 
 NOTES AM) COMMENTS. 
 
 (44) An Assyrian S'oM^Aey.' 
 
 (45) An ancient QuAiiTiiKi.y RuviewI 
 
 (46) " Rancorous rpnej,'ade" Wiis the appellation givi-n to Soiitliey m 
 Parliament by William Smith. It is a pity, Hays the Alibe de U., 
 that the name of the Babylonian senator who so justly attacked Doctor 
 V'ehtuos, is not given by Berosus. 
 
 (47) This oriental Wat " Tvler" was more fortunate llian his IMlgli^h 
 fellow-tradesman. He succeeded in his insurrection against Zohac, and 
 his leathern apron was covered over with gems, and became the national 
 standard of Persia, till it was ( aplured in the battle of C'adesia by Ihe 
 victorious Arabs, -b'rc (uiui'>N; <-. li. |>. '"", vol. iii. Jones'.- /•Ulitinii.
 
 l(KM IHK KINT.DOM OF HARYI.OK. 
 
 settlers a senate i^imilar to that of the Assyrians. Thii* 
 Mesopotamia, thoui^li snhjoct to the Crown of Babylon, 
 was infiMuled to be a separate and imperial kingdom j 
 and thoui^h the Babylonian senate, in the reigns of 
 l'^(. HOK(; 1. and II. j)asse(l several tyrannieal laws, 
 asserting an usurped supremacy over Mcsopotamia,(48) 
 yet the whole nation having risen in arms at the per- 
 suasion of their great orator and patriot, NATTAUc,(4f>) 
 *' McsopVt^ui'a.''°" '" Meso])otamia Avas reluctantly acknow- 
 ledged by Eguokg III. in the year of the aera of Issa or 
 the Assyrians, 1782, to be a free, sovereign and indepen- 
 dent kingdom, subject only to its own laws; and in this 
 condition it remained for eighteen years, during which 
 time so unprecedented was its prosperity, that it no less 
 than doubled its resources in that short period.(50) 
 Base ami treacherous L.— But the Chief Vizier of Egroeg 
 
 contrivance of thepo • 
 
 vcrnmentof KoBOKo jjj perceiving from this rapid increase 
 iojotamir' '"^" of the poM'cr and wealth of Mesopota- 
 mia, that her legislative independence was too far from 
 being compatible with the state of wretched vassalage 
 in which Babylon always endeavoured to keep her, and 
 that she would very soon be able to rival the power and 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (48) Thus we find, observes the Abbe do B., that the Babylonians, 
 under their Kings Egiioeo the First and Second, (which 1 interpret 
 Cieorge the First and Second,) acted towards Mesopotamia precisely 
 as England did towards Ireland, previous to the time of the Volun- 
 teers. 
 
 (49) "A Mesopotamian Grattan, too," exclaims the Abbe, "and 
 from what I have read and heard of Ireland," continues be, "she is 
 sadly in want of another." The Abbe may be right as to talentti, but 
 in real patriotism, Henry Grattan, the Member for Meath, is a worthy 
 son of his illustrious father. 
 
 (■'>0) This is precisely the account given of Ire"land in Lord Clare's 
 speech on th(^ Union. Have we gone on advancing at the same rate 
 of improvement ? The .'Mendicity returns of Dublin alone furnish k 
 melancholy negative to the question.
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 109 
 
 splendour of her former oppressors, laid the following 
 nefarious plan to reduce Mesopotamia more comj)letely 
 than ever under her old enemy, from whose usurpation 
 and tyranny she had but lately escaped. Seeing that the 
 people of Mesopotamia were principally divided into two 
 sects,(51) of whom the worshippers of Bkl, though only 
 about half-a million, out of a population of four millions 
 of souls,(52) had the government entirely in their hands, 
 Avhile the Zabians, or followers of the ancient faith of 
 Mesopotamia for 1300 years, were totally excluded from 
 power, merely on account of their religious opinions, 
 this wicked Vizier excited, by means of his infamous 
 emissaries, the most horrible dissensions and bloodshed 
 between the two parties ; and then, on the pretence that 
 Mesopotamia Avas an independent nation, refused to 
 interfere with the Mesopotamian Government in order 
 to protect the cruelly oppressed <Zabians from the atro- 
 cities practised against them by the worshippers of 
 Bel, but chiefly by a bigotted society of that sect called 
 Mgnaro?netij who, in the northern parts of Mesopotamia, 
 threatened to send every Zabian to Gehenna, unless 
 he retired to the extreme ivestern provinces of the 
 kingdom. (53) By this unprincipled policy the Baby- 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (51) Though Bcrosus has said elsewhere, that there was a consi- 
 derable portion of the Mesopotamian people who followed the doctrines 
 of RehtuI and Nivlac, as well as the adorers of Bel, he here mentions 
 only the latter sect and that of the Zabians ! Could tlie dissenting 
 followers of llchtul and Nivlac have arranged themselves on the side 
 of the Zabians in Mesopotamia, as the l*resbyterians of the North did 
 on the side of the Catholics, previous to the rebellion ? 
 
 (52) This was also the amount of the population of Ireland about 
 thirty years ago, says the Abbe de B. 
 
 (53) Gehenna, the Hebrew, and according to some, the Clialdasan name 
 for Hell; and thus, remarks the Abbe, there was aery of to ** Hell or 
 Connaught" among the Egnavjmen of xMesopotamia, as well as amongst 
 the Orangemen of Ireland. How curious ! 
 
 When the Duke of Norfolk moved for an inquiry into (he reasons for
 
 110 
 
 rHK KlN«.IJO.M OK liVnVJ^ON. 
 
 Ionian Minister calculated thai the Zubians, who loiniod 
 the fi^reat majority of the population of Mesopotamia, 
 would he so e^lad to f;;et rid of the atrocious oj)pression 
 of their domestic tyrants, that tliey would easily surrcn 
 ^uarnbj>c[.pnS ^^^^' ^*'^'''' ^■<>'">l'i"y's independence to him, 
 r'"!oK"'o Z"m^^o* "iHler the specious name of a Union 
 
 pi^tamian senate and -.i i» i i riii . r ^i • • ' 
 
 njertcd. With Mal)yl()n. 1 he terms ot this insi- 
 
 dious proposal were, that instead of three hundred 
 re[)resentatives of the nation, and one hundred grandees 
 who composed the domestic senate of Mesopotamia, 
 tliere should be but one Imndred of the former, and thirty 
 of the latter, sent to a Common National Council for Me- 
 sopotamia and Assyria, which was to meet only in Baby- 
 lon ; but as the degrading and impoverishing consc- 
 ijuences of this measure to Mesopotamia Avere easily 
 foreseen — a measure which would only give her one 
 hundred votes in the " Lower House" of the Baby- 
 lonian senate consisting of five hundred and fifty-eight 
 persons, and would reduce her splendid capital Lindub 
 to a mere provincial town, the project, when first sub- 
 mitted to debate, was opposed with warmth and re- 
 jected with contempt. 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 the rccal of Lord FitzwilUam in 179.5, Mr. Pitt said, "he deprecated 
 the discussion of subjects now before the Irish Parliament, as a mani- 
 fest violation of its independence, and warmly exhorted the House to 
 leave the settlement of affairs in that nation to its representatives, who 
 certainly were best qualified for that purpose!" — \AHn%ial Register, 
 1"0J, chap. xiii. p. 229.] And when Mr. Fox proposed, in 1797, that 
 an address should be voted to his Majesty, to adopt the best me.isures 
 for the restoration of tranquillity in Irelaiul — Mr. Pitt replied, that "the 
 main pillar of AiV defence of Ministers in their conduct towards Ireland, 
 and the jjround of /iis objection to the present motion, was, the uncon- 
 stitutionality, the impropriety, and the danger to be apprehended from 
 the interference of the British Parliament in the aj/'airs of Ireland!" 
 {.innual Register, 1707, chap. xiii. p. 247.] Yet this he stated at the 
 very time he was forging the weapons of rebellion, and accumulating 
 the funds of corruplion to annihilate the Iri<<h ParliamcnU
 
 THK KINGDOM OF BABYLON. Ill 
 
 The Minister of E.jROEG LI. — Howcver, tlic ai'ts of the trcache- 
 
 III. at leugth de- ,r. . , i i /• i 
 
 stroys the indepen- rous Vizici' at last succecdeu ; lor hav- 
 
 dence of Mesopota- 
 mia by rebelUon and in jr fir St raised a rebellion in Mesopo- 
 bnbery. ^ * 
 
 ^ra of issa, 1798-1800! tamia, then, under the pretence of 
 crushing it, having- filled the kingdom with a large Ba- 
 bylonian force, in order to hinder any opposition of the 
 Mesopotamians to the annihilation of their country's 
 independence, and having, finally, bribed the members 
 of the senate of Mesopotamia,(64) he succeeded in his 
 design, contrary to the will of the nation, twenty-four 
 out of every thirty- two persons being against it, and 
 many even of those who were silent on this " revolu- 
 tionary project" being only deterred by fear from oppos- 
 ing it. Even in the Babylonian senate, the celebrated 
 Yerg, who afterwards became a Lord and Grand 
 Vizier of the Assyrian empire, vehemently remonstrated 
 against the treachery and injustice practised towards 
 Mesopotamia, and predicted that the Mesopotamians 
 at some future period would rise, and be justified in 
 rising, to demand a repeal of the measure which the 
 unprincipled Vizier was then carrying.(55) 
 
 LII. — The almost immediate effect of this change 
 was to make all the nobles and rich men of Mesopo- 
 tamia reside in Babylon instead of Lin dub, the capital of 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (54) " Caught by the spoils of Gaul, and Casar's gold. 
 Curio turii'd traitor, and his country soUI," 
 observes Lucan of the celebrated, or rather, iiifamoua Roman tribune ; 
 and if the Curios of IVIesopotamia were as hifjhiy paid as those of 
 Ireland, they feathered their nests well. There was no less than one 
 nrillion five hundred thousand pounds given to Boroughmongers alone, 
 exclusive of peerages, places and pensions. 
 
 (55) "Lord Grey did exactly the same thing," says tbe Abbe de 
 B.; "his words were quoted in the I'ilot and Register during the 
 heat of the Anil union agitation in January or February last.' It 
 appears from this that the Abbe reads our Newspapers alternately, 
 and from the mention made, of " trnnsporlixg arms and men in stenm- 
 boal!* to Ireland,' by ]M. INIauguin in the Chamber of Deputies, (here 
 is no douht that there are other Frenchmen who do so!
 
 112 Till-; K I St. DOM OK HAHYl.ON. 
 
 their own coiiutry, wlicro, in the absciic-c of a tlomestic 
 senate, there was no inducement for them to remain ; 
 and thus, accordinjj^ to tlic eonij)utation of ()nkmxon,(56) 
 her principal lawyer, orator, patriot and statesman since 
 (he death of Nattaik., Mesopotamia was deprived every 
 year of between six and eight millions of darics, which 
 M'ere drawn from the land where they were produced, 
 to be spent in Babylonia, Persia, Media, and all the 
 neighbouring nations, while the poor Mesopotamians, 
 by whose hard labour this enormous sum was raised, 
 were scarcely able to exist at home ; and even out of the 
 wretched pittance that was left them by the tyranny of 
 the owners of the soil, who drew as much as possible 
 from their miserable dependants to squander in heart- 
 less luxury and extravagance abroad, they had to main- 
 tain their own Magi or Priests of the Zabian reli- 
 gion, and to contribute, as I previously mentioned, no 
 less than three million five hundred thousand darics, 
 to support the Babylonian priests of Bel, in whose 
 doctrines only five hundred thousand out of eight 
 millions of Mesopotamians believed. It was in vain for 
 the poor Mesopotamians to resist this iniquitous claim 
 of a set of ravenous hypocrites, who, while preaching 
 poverty, suffering, and humility, wallowed in wealth, 
 sensuality and pride — since those canting impostors 
 were supported in their extortion and cruelty by thirty 
 thousand Babylonian soldiers, in addition to a bigotted 
 and ferocious force of the Egnaro faction, who mas- 
 sacred, without remorse, every Zabian, whether man 
 or woman,(57) who refused to submit to the insatiable 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 (56) Qiiere, O'Conticl/ ! 
 
 (57) Under this religious sytiiem of yeomanry government, the Tigris 
 nnd Euphrates were no doubt converted into a river Slaney, to the great 
 edification of the sanctified money-changers of the " Chi'bch of Baby- 
 lon" in Mesopotiinua, as by lato, and I need not say by what else, 
 established.
 
 THE KINGDOM OF BABYLON. 118 
 
 spoliation of their anointed oppressors. But the 
 greatest proof of the intolerable misery to which Meso- 
 potamia was reduced by the loss of her senate was, that 
 notwithstanding the amazing fertility of her soil 
 (though under an imperfect system of cultivation, occa- 
 sioned by the transfer of her money to other nations,) 
 and the immense quantity of cattle which she exported 
 every year to Babylon, six out of eight millions of her 
 inhabitants lived in huts of mud and straw, and were 
 so far from being able to taste any animal foo<l, that 
 they existed on a wretched root, called in the Chal- 
 dsean tongue " eotatop," of which, when any scarcity 
 occurred — a circumstance that happened in the southern 
 or western parts of the kingdom, every three years at 
 farthest — a famine and pestilence ensued, that swept 
 away thousands of the unfortunate inhabitants of one 
 of the most abundant and healthy countries on the face 
 of the earth. From a consideration of these circum- 
 stances ******
 
 THE 
 
 POOR BISHOP^S EPISTLE 
 
 FOR RELIEF 
 
 TO 
 
 THE IRISH SECRETARY OF STATE. 
 
 Pity the misery of a holy man, 
 
 With thirty annual thousands, and no more ; 
 yfhosn funds are dwindled to the shortest span : 
 Subscribe, ye Saints, and Heaven will bless your store. 
 
 [Bishop Ponsonbi/'s Ecclesiastical adaptation of Mrs. Barbauld's 
 Poem, " Pity the sorrows of a poor old man," intended as an 
 " Appeal to the generosity of tlie Faithful," on account of a 
 ■ sacrilegious sale Ity auction, under an execution for debt, of all 
 the sanctified plate and furniture of his Lordship's apostolic 
 palace at Killaloe, and the consequent distress of the Right Rev. 
 Father in God, notwithstanding his recent appointment to the 
 See of Derri/ ! ! !
 
 THE 
 
 POOR BISHOP'S EPISTLE 
 
 FOR RELIEF 
 
 TO 
 
 THE IRISH SECRETARY OF STATE. 
 
 Dear Stanley, they say 'twas enjoined long ago, 
 
 We should preach without fee or reward ; 
 And declared, when released from this " valley of woe," 
 
 That our deeds should be put on record. 
 I listened, and bowed as if giving assent. 
 
 For you know we pretend to believe ; 
 But the thoughts that in poverty's crib I'd be pent, 
 
 At such words made me laugh in my sleeve. 
 It is said in that Bible we talk much about, 
 
 Our kingdom is not upon earth ; 
 But look at our palaces inside and out. 
 
 And taste our good dinners and mirth : 
 Gulp with us a bottle or two of champaigne, 
 
 Then gaze on our beautiful wives. 
 You'll exclaim, if no Heaven elsmohere we can gain 
 
 We display all its joys i7i our lives.* 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 • Saint Jerome tells ns, that when PrjetextHttis, a learned and vir- 
 tuous Paffaii Proefect of Rome in the fourth century, hehold the C/in'x*- 
 tifni opulence and luxury of Pope Damasus, he said to \w Holiness,
 
 118 TIIH J'DOlt BIMlOl''s ElMSTLK. 
 
 ! called tor my agent to get me some casli, 
 
 As I s/ivuhl give a family ball, 
 No matter it" fifty poor tenants he'd smasli — 
 
 By sending their pigs to the stall. 
 He said he'd five hundred, perhaps it would do, 
 
 As the tenants complained they were poor : 
 I replied, " they should never let out of their view 
 
 " I could put them all out of the door. — 
 " That Roger the farmer has still a fat hog, 
 
 " He could sell it and pay me my rent, 
 " And Dickey the cripple* may work in a bog ; 
 
 " For the money I got is all spent : — 
 "That Dillon the miller owes just half a year, 
 
 " And that he and his woman are rogues, 
 " For the driver informs me he'll make it appear 
 
 " She has just bought a pair of new brogues" — 
 Perhaps that curst Horn-Book got into their hands. 
 
 Of which Deists and Radicals tell — 
 (It would rifle poor Bishops of houses and lands — 
 
 And our carriages force us to sell.) 
 The Scripture may say though the foxes had holes. 
 
 That o7ir Lord " had no place for his head :" 
 For I never took orders to look after souls. 
 
 But on both sides to butter my bread : 
 And still I'm embarrass'd, my income's so small— 
 
 NOTES AND CO.MMENTS. 
 
 " Make vie Bishop of Rome and I'll immediately become a Christiayi .'" 
 " It is more than probable," observes Gibbon, " that Damasus woiild 
 not have purchased his conversion at such a price;" and we may add, 
 that, notwithstanding their opposition to Popery, our *' law-established" 
 Right Reverences would be as little inclined to make proselytes on 
 similar terms, as his Holiness was. 
 
 • Tlie Chluch of Bullets and Sabkes would, we are sure, have no 
 objection that even Prince Hohenloe should cure all the cripples in 
 England and Ireland, in order that they might work for her holy emolu- 
 ment.
 
 THE POOR bishop's KPISTLE. 1 19 
 
 Thirty thousand scarce keeps me in peace ; 
 My lady wants diamonds to go to the ball, 
 
 And my sons must have cash for the race. 
 Now tell me, my friend, what to do, for in fact, 
 
 I'm afflicted with poverty sore ; 
 If you think the new Parliament would pass an Act, 
 
 I'll petition, and try to get more. 
 
 The Poor Bishop of the " Established,"
 
 PARSON FIREBRAND. 
 
 When we see Churchmen, who, if ask'd, 
 " Must Ireland's slaves be tith'd, and task'd, 
 " And driv'n, like Negros or Croats, 
 
 " That you may roll in wealth and bliss /" 
 Look from beneath their shovel hats 
 
 With all due pomp, and answer " Yes !" 
 But then, if question'd " shall the brand 
 " Intolerance flings tliroughoiit that land, 
 " Betwixt her palaces and hovels, 
 
 " Suff 'ring nor peace nor love to grow, 
 " Be ever quench'd" — from the same shovels 
 
 Look grandly forth, and answer " No." — 
 Alas, alas ! have these a claim 
 To merciful Religion's name ? 
 
 Fable for the Holt/ Alliance [of '•Ciiurtcii and Statk,"] 
 *v Thomas Brown, thi: Yocvokh,
 
 PARSON FIREBRAND. 
 
 ScEKE ; A Petty-Sessions Court. The Parson solus on the 
 Bench. Enter, the Widow Magrath. 
 
 Widoiv — Will your Reverence give me an order for 
 the releasement of my child out of j'ale ? 
 
 Parson — No, woman : he must stand his trial. — He 
 has been guilty of a gross violation of the laws. 
 
 Widow — Violeshin of the laws ! Is that what you call 
 it ? A boy twelve years oukL Hell will never be full till 
 that perjured villain, your proctor, gets into it. 
 
 Parson — I cannot listen to such language. My proc- 
 tor is an honest man ; he swore your son rescued the 
 cow. 
 
 Widow — And will the good christians believe him if 
 he swore five hundred oaths ? A graie big hnimmach 
 of a divil, to let a boy twelve year ould resky a cow from 
 him. 
 
 Parson — There is no use in talking ; the law must 
 take its course. The boy is not so badly off as you 
 think. This imprisonment may be of use to him, as 
 the prison is attended by a most pious gentleman, who 
 reads the word of life for the prisoners, and catechises 
 them. 
 
 Widow — The rfet;?7 should eat him before I'd let him 
 cuttykisc my child. I suppose the raisin of your send- 
 ing my child to Jale, was to turn him to be a heretic. 
 
 Parson — Your language is very offensive, Mrs. Ma- 
 grath. Another Magistrate would send you to jail for 
 such expressions. 
 
 Widow — Oh yes ! you give us great lenity, to be sure.
 
 1*24 P.MtNON Kill KB HAM). 
 
 Don't yon know that your proctor drove the cow to 
 pound atur he -wore the gorsoou reskyed her ? — You 
 won't keep both the cow and the ^'■^^/'.<foo;/ in Jdi/, I siij)- 
 pose ' 
 
 Parson — I ha\ e nothing to do with the matter but to 
 athninistcr the KaA\'. The boy is imprisoned for a cri- 
 minal ofVencc, and the cow is detained to answer a civil 
 action ! ! 
 
 JFidoic — How damn civil you are. Sure we never 
 heard of such civility till the divil drove you to this part 
 of the country. 
 
 Parson — Police, turn this Moman out of the Coiu't- 
 house. 
 
 JFidow — Stay; dou't be in a hurry. I want to get 
 hale for my child. What bale will you take ? 
 
 Parson — Two solvent securities in fifty pounds each, 
 that your son shall stand his trial. 
 
 TFidow — Oh neigh boin\s, neighbours, was the like 
 ever heard of before ? The tithe is only half a guinea, 
 and the cow isent worth three pound, and he wants a 
 hundred i)ound hale for the gorsoon to let him out of 
 jale. 
 
 Parson — If you have bail to offer mention it, but I 
 Avon't take less than one hundred pounds in two good 
 sureties. 
 
 Widoic — Maybe you'd take the few pence I have here 
 to pay the tithe. There it is for you. [Throws down 
 some silver on the table.] 
 
 Parson — It is not right for me to take money here; 
 but to save you further trouble 1 shall receive it. How 
 much have you r 
 
 TVidow — Sure I have the tithe of my three acres un- 
 der the valeashin made by you and your other seven 
 black-mouths. 
 
 Parson — That won't do. I shall write the particu- 
 lars, aufl then you'll know ^hat you have to pay. —
 
 PARSON FIREBRAND. 125 
 
 [Writes on a slip of paper and liands it to tlie widow.] 
 You see by that wliat you have to pay. 
 
 Widow — I'm no Skolard. I can't read your bill. 
 
 Parsoji — Sergeant Scuffler, read that paper for this 
 woman. 
 
 Police Sergeant [Reads] — Tithe of three acres under 
 the Composition Act, at 3a-. Qd. per acre, 10^. Gd. — 
 Driver's fees, 2*. Qd. — Driver's fees after rescue, 2a-. 6rf. 
 Poundage, and hay two nights, 2s. — Discharge by 
 j)roctor, 1a\ — Total, 18s. Qd. 
 
 Widoiv — [Clapping her hands] — Oh, murther ! mur- 
 ther ! Christians ! christians ! was ever a poor widow 
 so robbed and destroyed as I am by a 
 
 Parson — This is quite intolerable. Police, turn this 
 woman and all these people out of the Court. 
 
 Widow — Let me gather up my little pence — [collects, 
 the silver off the table and puts it in her pocket]. 
 Now I'll tell you a piece of news : there's a Protestant 
 gentleman in the parish will take my cow out of the 
 pound and my little boy out of jalc in spite of yoiu* 
 teeth. 
 
 Parson — Oh, 1 know the person you call a Protest- 
 ant gentleman, but he is no Protestant, he is a Deist.* 
 
 Widoii' — He's a better Cliristian than you are, for he 
 
 NOTE A\D CO.MiMi;.\T. 
 
 * All Parsons! ParsoiisI these holy yelps against Deists will never 
 do. Ac(onIing to one of the late Parliamentary mumblings of your 
 Pharisaical Champion, Lefroy, there are 1:200 Ijcnefued shearers of the 
 "law and-bdi/oiiet" species in Ireland. We do not want to advonate, 
 Deism ; but which would the people t)f this wretched country rather 
 have 1200 Humes and Gibbons residing amongst them, or 1200 anointed 
 practitioners of Newtownbarry and .Skibbereen I'hristianity. 
 
 When the Jews petitioned for Catholic Emancipation, which yoii, 
 Parsons, opposed, one of the Association, we believe .lack Lawless, 
 said — "the Brunswickers may talk as they like oi i\iv Jews, l)ut in my 
 opinion they are the best C/irisfi<riis going;" and on this principle, 
 Parsons, we never think any man a riylil miod (Christian till i/oti (.all 
 him an Atheist or Deist.
 
 1*26 »»AIIS(>N KIllEBRAM). 
 
 dot's more gootl in one week than ever you do)ie since 
 you were bt)in. I'll clear the Court, and may the 
 curse of the widow aiul the orphan light doAvn upon 
 you now and for evermore. [Exit. 
 
 yiti old tvoman in the Court — Amen. 
 
 Parson [In a rag-e] — Police, turn all those vagabonds 
 out of the Court — [the Court is cleared]. I'm very 
 sorry I did not commit that virago to jail. 
 
 Sergeant ScuJ^er — It's better for your honour not to 
 mind her, she has the devil's tongue. 
 
 Parson — I suppose she has been talking about mc in 
 the village. 
 
 Sergeayit Scxiffier — Indeed she has ; she's a devil ; 
 she says she can tell your history for seventeen gene- 
 rations. 
 
 Parson [Looks at his watch] — It's past two o'clock. 
 
 The Magistrates won't come here to-day. Shut up the 
 
 Court-house. 
 
 [Exeunt Omnes.
 
 THE 
 
 PARSON^S ADDRESS 
 
 YEOMEN. 
 
 Axma virumquc cano. 
 
 I sing the " Man of Gotl," and loyal yeomen, 
 ■Whose holy arms subdued our Popish I'oemen. 
 
 [Extract /rum a " true Protestant" truiislation •/ Virgil, 
 preparing by Strseant Lefroy, to supersede Dryden's 
 Romish version I ! !
 
 THE 
 
 PARSON'S ADDRESS TO THE YEOMEN. 
 
 AtR — " Blue Bonnets over the border.^' 
 I. 
 
 March ! march ! march out for tithes, my boys ! 
 
 Screw on your bayonets and do not give quarter : 
 Papists may come with their pitchforks and scythes, my 
 boys,* 
 Crush them, as cooks do mince meat in a mortar ! 
 Heed not wliat conscience says. 
 Set cabins in a blaze, 
 Fighting your way by the flames to keep order ; 
 Aim with imerring eye, 
 Pick them down as they fly. 
 Let not one scamp of them cross his land's border ! 
 II. 
 Spare, spare, spare the titlie-payer, boys ! 
 He's not as bad as the Terry marauder 
 Who'd rob our holy Church while we're at prayer, my 
 boys. 
 Saying, 'tis wk are the cause of disorder.f 
 
 NOTES AND COMMRNTS. 
 
 * The Reverend warrior seems to forget what a copious harvest of 
 IVIuscovites the Popu^k peasantry of Folaiul mowed down with tlie 
 crooked weapon, of whose effects, in the hands of tlie ^' vtcre Iris/i," he 
 seems to he so little apprehensive. David, in some of his Psalms, talks 
 of being" amillen likti grass by the scythe of the mower," and, we are 
 sorry to say, there are a great many persons now-a-days who ask, 
 " ff^hen will /hii! expression become applicable to Parsons and Yeo- 
 tnenf" but Ood forbid we should say any such thing. 
 
 f In this cliarge broiiijlil nifninst a few "wild Iriili,'' of having robbed
 
 130 THE TAKSON's AliUllESS. 
 
 Nrar, du'i-lls that |)estiloiice,* 
 
 Who must ho haiiishM hence ; 
 Then u e may hope for long: peace and good order : 
 
 If he once comes in sight 
 
 Leave him in such a plight, 
 That he'll ne'er grope h is way back to Graig's border. 
 
 111. 
 
 Catch, catch, catch every ass, my boys, 
 
 Horse, pig and cow, near my rectorial border ; 
 TIjon let their owners go pray at their Mass, my boys, 
 Soon we'll behold them well flay'd in the lyarder. 
 Bag turkeys, hens and ducks, 
 Bacon, geese, veal, and plucks, 
 Show no more pity than Thurtell or Corder ; 
 
 NOXns AND COMMENTS. 
 
 a Church while garrisoned with a large congregation, we cannot suffi- 
 ciently admire the art of the Poet in preserving the usual verisimilitude 
 of the historical accusations brought against Popery, by our "indul- 
 gent mother," the "Church ok Law and Muskets." It strongly re- 
 minds us of the alarm spread by her Kildare-street Peripatetics, of the 
 dreadful Pastorini massacre which the "bloody and treacherous Ro- 
 manists" were to have made on Christmas -day, 1825, of all the Irish 
 Protestants, while at Church ; and the not less veracious assertion 
 that the Papists burned London in the time of Charles II. who, by 
 the way, died a "deluded Romanist j" but above all, it brings to our 
 recollection the memorable answer of a worthy Alderman of London, 
 in the same reign, who, when asked " Why he barricaded his house and 
 armed his servants," replied with pious horror, that "aw immense 
 army of Papists were training under ground, to blow up the river 
 Thames and the faithful Protestant City of London j and how did 
 HE or any loyal subject know hut they might rise next morning 
 with their throats cut by the Jesuits." We think Mr. Percival and 
 Sir Robert Inglis should petition Government to take precautions 
 against any subterranean renewal of such Popish villainies in England, 
 by setting a " real Protestant" guard on the Thames tunnel ! and in 
 Ireland, we recommend the Solicitor-General Crampton to station 
 Captain (iordon at the head of a band of roal-melers along the Quays 
 of Dublin, for fear the Romanists should *' set the Liffey on fire" ! 1 ! 
 * The Priest of Graig.
 
 THE parson's address. ]S1 
 
 Seize blankets, pots, and spits. 
 Weavers' and cobblers' kits. 
 Nothing like bay'nets keep Papists inordcr.* 
 
 NOTES AND COMMENTS. 
 
 • It would be a pity not to snatch from the tide that carries the eva- 
 nescent productions of the Daily Press to oblivion, the following lines, 
 which appeared in The Brighton Guardian a few months back : — 
 Air — " There's not a joy the world can give." 
 There's not a joy the Parson gives like that betakes away. 
 When he eyes the tenth of all the land and claims it for his prey. 
 There's not a pig the Parson takes from out the Farmer's sty 
 But grunts to leave his native home and heaves a bitter sigh. 
 There's not a cow the Farmer hath that grazes in the field. 
 That doth not low and swing her tail whene'er the pig is killed. 
 There's not a turkey in the yard but gobbles more and more, 
 Whene'er he sees the Parson enter at the farm-house door. 
 There's not a goose the Farmer hath that swims upon the pond. 
 That doth not stretch his neck and hiss to see his master u rong'd. 
 There's not a duck upon the farm but gives an extra quack, 
 Whene'er he finds his master glad to see the Parson's back. 
 There's not a cock that struts around but crows more loud and gay. 
 When he sees the Parson mount his horse and proudly ride away. 
 There's not a thing upon the farm but shews some kind of fear, 
 Whene'er he hears the name of tithes or finds the Parson near. 
 But nothing shews resentment more than doth the patient ass, 
 Who always brays and turns his rump wiiene'er the Parsons pass. 
 Now, ducks and geese that swim the pond call help from all around, 
 When next you meet him, drag him in — 'tis but a Parson drown'd. 
 The horse will scamper o'er the mead more briskly than before — 
 The cocks and hens will sleep in peace, the pigs more soundly snore ; 
 The ass shall sing his song of joy— the bull shall toll the knell, 
 To let the geese and turkeys know the Parson's gone to h — H.
 
 APPENDIX.
 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 The allusion made by the translator of " Erasmus's 
 Echo and Greenhorn," page 71, is to the following 
 article, which appeared in the Eighth Number of the 
 CoMET' 19th June, 1831 :— 
 
 A BUCKTHORN FOR THE CURATES AND SMALL-FRY 
 OF THE "ESTABLISHED." 
 
 Messieurs Greenhorns, Deacons, and Curatus ! — 
 
 Seeing that you are only the hod-men to the Temple as yet, 
 and feeling anxious to prepare you for the " calling" to which 
 you have aspired, we take compassion on your ignorance of the 
 TRADE, and beg to throw out a few hints by which you may 
 the more speedily and easily arrive at the top of the ladder 
 with your loads of burnt-offering for the altar. All the time 
 and money you have been spending upon Theology has been 
 thrown away. The only part of your profession you will find 
 it necessary to practise, will be, the art of reading a set form 
 of prayer, (whether you be thinking of the matter or of your 
 tithes,) in such a sing-song cadence as will enable your mental 
 organs, if you have any, (which, indeed, is not essential,) to 
 take a nap, while your voice is going on like clock-work, 
 minding the main point, and earning the cash, the real end 
 and aim of your professional pursuits. These little mental 
 naps are never much noticed, particularly towards the winding 
 up of the performance, because the congregation is generally 
 placed hors de combat by the first ten lines of the sermon ; and 
 the nasal inspirations of the sleeping flock chime in with the 
 pendulous aspirations of the swing-swang cadenced shepherd, 
 in a unison so pleasing, that nothing seems out of tune. Now, 
 Messieurs, this is the first and most essential step towards quali- 
 fication for practical divinity, in the Solomon's Temple of Gold 
 and of Silver, of lawn sleeves and of mitres — that fair tuljcr-
 
 136 APPENDIX. 
 
 iiacle of your youtliful Uaisons and iidolcscent idolatry ! Does 
 not the very enumeration of your personal attractions fire 
 your young blood ! 
 
 We have sliown you all that is necessary to make you per- 
 fect for ^)/acficaZ divines ; but how are we to convey to you 
 proper instruction as to the manner of getting through the 
 work ? Let us see — suppose you pocket your Scotch mull, for 
 the purpose of applying its contents to dissipate the somnific 
 influence you will experience, and next Sunday, about noon, 
 step into the first church whose ding-dong invites you ; and as 
 soon as you have obtained leave to sit in a thing like a tavern- 
 box, or opera-box, called a pew, you will see a serious-looking 
 personage in a white over-all shirt walk methodically up the aisle, 
 preceded by a fussy little squat man, with a rusty-black stuff 
 vestment tossed awkwardly across his shoulders, and bunches of 
 keys in his hands to open a small door for the grave personage ; 
 which grave personage, anon, coops himself up in a kind of octa- 
 gon tub, and presently stands up, places his white hand across 
 his brows, as he leans his elbow on the edge of the tub, and 
 having had this favourable opportunity of showing the ladies his 
 diamond ring, he will open a well-thumbed book, and com- 
 mence, in a grave tone, similar to that of the Scribes and 
 Pharisees, to tell you something about a " wicked man," out 
 of some particular page in the Scriptures ; which he has no 
 sooner finished, than a shabby-looking customer under him, 
 begins some^^hing else out of another most distant page of the 
 same book, as if he were mocking the grave personage in the 
 white shirt ; this, they will hold up for some time. Then you 
 will see the grave-looking personage kneel on a stool in his 
 tub, and commence reading a prayer(!) in a sad tone, and so 
 on till a particular time, when he sits down again. The clerk 
 has it to himself then, and he says, " let us sing to the praise 
 and glory of God," and, as if to mock the very echoes, an hun- 
 dred discordant voices yell out the most stunning cross-pur- 
 poses of " sweet music," which you will observe to proceed 
 from a group of unnatural-looking children called charter-school 
 brats. After this commences a gathering of money, (as if they 
 had not enough already !) and then the grave-looking personage 
 puts on a black shirt, and gets up in the octagon tub again, and 
 gives one or two looks round the flock, with as determined a
 
 APPENDIX. 137 
 
 countenance as if hu were going- to sit for his miniature ; and 
 when he has adjusted a little white bib, cut into two lappets, 
 under his chin ; has roused up his drooping hair, and adjusted 
 his white pocket-handkerchief and diamond ring, he opens his 
 written sermon, and commences the enunciation of his text in 
 as euphonical an articulation, as if twenty reporters were taking- 
 down his words to register them as the oracular breathings of 
 the inspired. When he winds up an antithetical climax, you 
 will observe him to wipe his mouth gracefully after it, with a 
 great air of satisfaction. Well ; when you have taken the out- 
 line of such a grave personage on the tablet of your memory, 
 you will have a better study for you p. practical divinity than 
 any college course could afford you. You have learned the 
 whole art and mystery of earning from £75 to £40,000 a year 1 
 and all in the space of a couple of hours ! See how easy it is 
 to become a ready-made Parson for ready-made prayers and 
 sermons, when ready-money is the prime mover of the springs 
 of action ! But hark'c ! we had nearly forgot to ask you the 
 main question — what "call" did you get to the profession? 
 When, where, and by whom ? Eh?****** You say your 
 mother pulled you by the nose, and " call'd" you to get up for 
 the coach, and " call'd" again when you were on it, to say she 
 hoped you'd soon be a Bishop — and " call'd" a third time as 
 you started off, to bid you pusli for a living, any how ! Very 
 good, quite enough of calls to swear by. It's quite refreshing, 
 it's really a rich sight to see young fellows getting on so cle- 
 verly as you now are for the " calling." And so, she hoped 
 you'd soon be a Bishop ? And to be sure, so you will — you 
 have the light hungry-looking gout for it, my lads ! isn't it a 
 prize worth contending (or? You are as hnished a set of cus- 
 tomers for a batch of mitres as those that have them ! But 
 softly — softly — you are greenhorns yet; there are some crabbed 
 questions may be put to you, which you ought to know how to 
 answer. Seme rough layman, for instance, may be so spiteful 
 as to ask you — " Is it not very absurd for a congregation to 
 pay a man forty thousand a year, or one thousand a year, aye, 
 or one hundred a year, for reading /jri«^ccZ prayers tind jn-iutcd 
 sermons to them, which they themselves could read so much 
 more to their own advantage and profit, at no expense at all, 
 and upon wiiich they couM uicditalc without a disti acted and
 
 138 APPENDIX. 
 
 ilivulod utteiitioii, M cont7nande(I by (.'jiuist, al, home in their 
 c'losets f" Now it must be (juite evident that any fellow putting 
 such a question to you must be no joker. It is a matter-of-tact 
 kind of" argument, that admits of no answer but the one, and 
 that would be against yourselves. It is here your college 
 learning comes into play, for you must resort to the most sub- 
 tile sophistry to make any stand at all against this home thrust 
 at the necessity of your mission. There is a beaten track laid 
 down for you to pursue, which you will learn of other divines, 
 but it would occupy too much space here --for your sophisms 
 are spongy, expansive concerns. If you wish to fortify your- 
 selves with sophisms, you will have ample opportunity by and 
 by, when tlie practised divines begin to answer the arguments 
 of Reformers. Their replies will teach you, to perfection, the 
 art of mystifying and throwing dust in laymen's eyes. There, 
 will be lessons in sophistry for you ! Another layman will ask 
 you, with the greatest effrontery, " Do you believe in the 
 Athanasian Creed ?" Be on your guard, for it won't answer to 
 say you do, or you do not. If you say you do, you will never 
 rise in the Church, which, of course, is your sole object; for it is 
 according to the measure of your faith in that touch-stone of or- 
 thodoxy being on the increase, that you will deserve promotion; 
 and a full vessel, not needing increase, will be left in the back 
 ground ; while the one that requires bribery to fill it, gets that 
 bribery for the purpose needed. Besides, the fellow would 
 think you had not an ounce of sense to believe a thing without 
 a substantial reason — it would be so out of the way of your 
 cloth. To say you did not believe it at all, would be to give 
 him grounds for citing you before the Bishop, and you might 
 lose your livings ; so that the only safe course would be, the 
 middle course, and, doubtless, that which you will think most 
 reasonable. This middle course is for you to say, if you be a 
 Curate, that you believe in the Athanasian Creed at the rate 
 of £75 a-year ; if a Rector, at the rate of £500 a-year ; if a 
 Bishop, at the rate of £10,000 a-year; but that you cannot 
 believe it wholly, that is, to the full extent of £40,000 a-year, 
 till you are an Archbishop. Now, you will see by all this that 
 the word belief, as understood by the " Established," is received 
 and made use of, in a most profitable and convenient manner. 
 In the instance given, you can measure it by pounds, shillings,
 
 APPENDIX. 139 
 
 and pence, and you can put it lialf on, or half off, to suit youc 
 worldly purposes. Even the law of the land has the very same 
 estimation of your belief; for, if a Judge ask you a question^ 
 as a witness before the bench, such as, do you know a certain 
 thing to be black or white, and you answer that yon believe it is 
 neither, he will be as rude as a bear, and tell you to your teeth 
 that he would not give a jack-straw for your belief — and by all 
 the whiskers of St. Bridget, seeing that your are a Parson, sav- 
 ing your presence, but I think he's right — he would not give 
 you a bull-rush for yoicr belief! — he should have your oath. 
 You will have a great advantage over lay people when you are 
 divines, because ?/ou will have the /)?-ice of your belief, and emotive 
 not to let it wax faint. You may have a real belief in some one 
 thing or other, and no firm belief in any thing else ; yet, you 
 will go on all right-away, slick and smooth, in the way of your 
 trade : no one can call you to an account. If you ask a layman 
 does he believe in the equality of the Trinity, and he tell you 
 he cannot command his belief, notwithstanding he had heard all 
 that could be said on the subject, so as to satify his judgment 
 that the three persons were equal — the moment he utters this 
 conclusion, you must take up the matter most seriously — bellow 
 at him some trite silencers, which you will see other dexterous 
 divines of the " Established" use so pointedly, such, for in- 
 stance, as Deist ! Atheist ! Hobbes ! Paine ! Voltaire ! and all 
 things of that kind which you can think of ; and when you 
 have sputtered him out of your presence, you may laugh in your 
 own sleeve, seeing that you may believe nothing at all of the 
 matter yourself, except what is convenient, but that you can 
 excommunicate your neighbour for being so conscientious as 
 not to say he believed the thing that he did not believe. You, 
 to be sure, will set your heart upon a benefice, and then upon 
 a mitre, and of course these will shape your belief; and l)einc' 
 the end you aim at, you ivill have your reward. 
 
 Should any fellow ask you, " how, in the name of God, you 
 could reconcile the pride, wealth and rapacity of the Establish- 
 ment, with the meek, lowly, and houseless religion of Christ? 
 and then come on with a pelting of Scripture texts as tliick aS 
 snipe shot at your head, making you smart down to the very 
 kidneys ; you must only bear it all patiently, and, when a little 
 respite allows, put a bold f;ici; on the matter, and step forward
 
 140 APTENDIX. 
 
 rubbing- your bands, witb an air of ;^roaf confidence, and seelrtg 
 that tlicre is no use in letting; biiu into the secret that you are 
 f^oing to defend a thing against your reason and conviction, or 
 that it was for a phick at the phmder you became divines instead 
 of attorneys, which nature designed you for, you must say to 
 him : — *' Sir, we are truly sorry to sec so respectable and sen- 
 sible a person attempt to misinterpret the Bible ; at least, so 
 ignorant, apparently, of the true meaning of the text, which 
 should be taken in the very opposite sense ; * rich man' meaning 
 ' poor man,' and ' poor man' meaning ' rich man,' in that 
 holy Book, as we interpret it." This last sentence will have 
 a great deal of meaning in it, but you need not make him a 
 •whit the wiser of that. If you find it will go down with him, 
 you may reckon yourself out of his dangerous clutches ; but if 
 he will not swallow it, and should proceed to retort on you thus — 
 " What, Sir ! will you allow the plain obvious meaning of 
 the Scriptures to be wrested, and tortured, and reversed, for a 
 base purpose — for any purpose — to-day, and to-morrow condemn 
 and persecute a Roman Catholic for an alleged crime in doing 
 the same? Are you obliged to descend to such shifts?" there 
 is no getting out of this ; you are floored at once ! but there is 
 a chance left — namely, an honourable retreat. So gird up your 
 loins and approach him goodhumouredly, saying, — " My dear 
 friend, pray be calm ; don't agitate yourself —see how cool wc 
 are ; but, indeed, we are cool because we have a most trium- 
 phant answer to your objection, which is this : — [here lay the 
 top of the fore finger of your right hand on the top of the fore 
 finger of your left hand, and having drawn in your breath with 
 a long inspiration, as if you were about to pounce upon him 
 with your annihilating argument, when you have him prepared 
 for the first syllable of it — start ! as if you were shot through 
 the brain with a sudden recollection ; snatch out your watch 
 and slap your forehead, swearing that you have but two minutes 
 to keep your appointment with Vanden Elchinneckinbrocken, 
 the Dutch Consul, and dart out of the room, begging your 
 friend's pardon, but requesting to see him next day at noon, 
 to hear what you have to say, and once fairly out of doors, take 
 to your heels, and never mind being at home any day the next 
 fortnight at noon, until you think the subject is forgot. This 
 is an honorable retreat. It is the only way you have in the
 
 APPENDIX, 141 
 
 wolld for getting off the horns of the dilemma upon which you 
 were impaled.] 
 
 You will sometimes meet with a very tough sort of a person 
 at country weddings and christenings, called a Dissenting 
 Minister, who will put you in mind of the observation about 
 Pope being like a note of interrogation, '(?) namely, a trouble- 
 some crooked little thing, asking questions ; and turn or twist 
 your head or your discourse what way you will, there you'll 
 encounter this vexatious note of interrogation, ready to com- 
 mence operations like a little reaping hook, to cut down all the 
 rich harvest of your temporal tares and thistles, and to make 
 such home thrusts at your title-deeds, as would be sufficient, 
 did you stand your ground, to rip them up into shreds for 
 tailor's measures. But you have too much to risk to stand before 
 such a wily customer. Those who fight and run away, may live to 
 fight another day. Don't even risk a sparring ; put on a super- 
 cilious dandyish air, so as to make yourself look a little aristo- 
 cratic, and tell him, condescendingly, that you are too polite to 
 annoy a mixed company with controversial subjects ; and that 
 you would beseech him to commit his queries to writing, and you 
 shall answer him. Should he be so silly as to do this, you have only 
 to copy a few pages of sophistry in reply, from any of the books 
 in your library, and you will finish him, by throwing iiim into a 
 fever of contempt for your foppery. 
 
 If a Catholic parishioner or farmer remonstrate with you 
 and say " Sirs, how is it possible that you can reconcile it to your 
 conscience — if you have any, which, I very much doubt — to 
 demand tithe of me who have a pastor of my own to pay, to 
 support you, your wife, your children, your servants, and your 
 coach-horses, seeing that I have a wife and cliildren of my own 
 in want of many necessaries of life ; and all this, without get- 
 ting one atom of value fiom you here, or hereafter, but, on the 
 contrary, my children likely to be contaminated by the bad exam- 
 ple of your rapacity and injustice, in taking from your neighbours 
 that which in common honesty you should have no pretensions 
 to ?" Now, there is no way for you to get out of such a scrape 
 ;is this but to pretend to be in ten times as great a passion as 
 the farmer himself: bounce about the room, and storm, and 
 kirk up n hell of a dust! bluster out thus:— "What! you 
 
 defamer! you papist! do you forget that we have our title
 
 1^ Al'Tli^NUIX. 
 
 deetLs, .secured on the lands pnvious to the title deeds of tlie 
 landlords; that what you pay us, is part of your rent? You 
 calculated ou it, and took your farm with your eyes open. H 
 is not for your religion we ask tithe, but we , demand it as our 
 right, our rent," &:c. &c. Well : he replies as follows — " What, 
 Sir ! you admit it is not for our religion, but that it is as rent 
 you demand tithe of us. Now, having no religion to give us 
 that we will accept, pray what do you get your rent for ? 
 " Sir," you will say, " I gel it for doing my duty to my con- 
 gregation." " Well, Sir," he will answer, " take with the por- 
 tion paid you by your congregation, and let the portion paid 
 by us and by Disseyiters go to the original purposes intended 
 for one third of the Church revenues, namely, the support of the 
 poor or the exigencies of the slate : you have no right to be 
 paid by a portion of the people upon the patent of doing a duty 
 for them which you do not do, and which they do not require 
 you to do ; you should be paid by that portion of the people 
 for whom you do that duty, and by none others." Here you 
 are shot as dead as a mackerel ! all the world won't save you. 
 No plaister of sophistry can cure this wound. You must gird up 
 your loins once more, and uttering a fierce oath, swear by the 
 holy Columnkil, that you will cut the matter short by citing 
 him befoijf Doctor's Commons, where he will get short com- 
 mons of common sense, or common law, or common equity, 
 or common honesty ; and that will teach the fellow how to 
 grumble again. 
 
 But we are afraid we have shown you so many difficulties 
 that you will have to encounter to be able to keep your ground 
 against all these combined attacks, that if you have any sense 
 or shame or feeling in your composition, it is most likely you 
 may be deterred from encountering such a life of deception, 
 hypocrisy and nefarious practices ; and it is more than probable 
 you may be inclined to abandon the profession. 
 
 J. G.
 
 ERRATA. 
 
 Page 4, third line of note (3) for " So is their houses full of deceits," read " So 
 are their houses full of deceit." 
 
 Page 20, note (11) for " tamen elle Deus,'' read " tamen ille Deus." 
 
 Page 21, note (14) for " Lidertes," read Libertas." 
 —— note (15) for " Quamovis," read "Quamvis," 
 
 Page 2S, line (14) for " For mc pure pine apples," read " For me pine apples," 
 
 Page 45, fifth line from bottom, for " Its left to udlderness," read " it left to wilder- 
 neues." 
 
 Page 111, note (i5) fourth line from bottom, for " alternately," read " attentively " 
 
 Page U2, twelfth Uae from bottom, for " Columnkil," read " ColvmikiW"
 
 \J 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
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 THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE 
 STAMPED BELOW. 
 
 Series 9482
 
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