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Copyrighted 1907, by James A. Wilson 
 San Francisco, Cal. 
 
HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 AND 
 
 HOW IT DID ME 
 
 BY 
 
 JAMES A. WILSON 
 
 
 San Francisco, California 
 1907. 
 

HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 AND 
 
 HOW IT DID ME. 
 
 SEATTLE, July 1, 1907, 
 Friend Dick : 
 
 We are now in Seattle, and about to start on our 
 trip across the Continent by the Canadian Pacific to New 
 jfork and then to Naples, and from there I might say, 
 I don't know where we're going, but we're on our way, 
 
 I promised I would let you and the bunch know how it 
 happened, so you will hear from me in a disjointed way y 
 once in a while. 
 
 I am not saying anything about the trip in the train 
 from San Francisco to Portland and Seattle, as you and 
 the boys know all about it. Just tell them when lunch 
 time comes to have one with me. 
 
 In the meantime, believe me very truly yours for what- 
 ever there is in it. 
 
 JIM. 
 
 THROUGH THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS. 
 
 Tuesday, July 2, 1907. Left Seattle at 12:15 through 
 a five minutes' tunnel, and in a few minutes found 
 tnere was no diner on th*> train. The conductor and 
 porter telegraphed some place for lunch, and at 4 p. m. 
 
 827892 
 
6 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 it came aboard done up in a box. It was good and we 
 were hungry. The diner was put on in the evening 
 and we fared all right. 
 
 At Sumas we got our own drawing-room and settled 
 down for a long ride. On Wednesday we started through 
 the Rockies and all that day were passing through the 
 most picturesque country I have ever ridden through on 
 a train. 
 
 Great Divide. 
 
 At Field the largest glacier in the world lies in full 
 view; it. is a sight well worth seeing and long to be 
 rejntfiin^erejd. Just before reaching Field we passed 
 tnrougli the. Gorge at Kicking-Horse Pass. Close by is 
 whjai is -Isjipwn as the "Great Divide," where a small 
 " stream" separates one becoming the Columbia river and 
 the other finally flowing into Hudson Bay. This place is 
 known as the backbone of the continent. The Rocky 
 Mountains and the Selkirk meet at this point. 
 
 I forgot to remark that at Sumas is the line dividing 
 the United States and Canada. There is a kind of double 
 station; on the American side it is called Huntington and 
 on the Canadian Sumas. Two lines of survey can be seen 
 running over the mountains about a quarter of a mile 
 apart, where it would seem a dispute had arisen at some 
 time over the line. I walked into Canada, looked at the 
 Custom House and then came back to America and went 
 to the U. S. Saloon and had a farewell glass of beer for 
 pure patriotism ; still the day was warm and perhaps that 
 helped my motive some. 
 
 Across the Continent via Canadian Pacific. 
 
 Thursday, 4th. We are now out and away from the 
 Rockies and the Selkirks and traveling through a most 
 uninteresting country and, were it not for what the guide 
 book says about it, it might just as well not have been 
 made, except the narrow strip for the railway. 
 
 Medicine Hat. 
 
 We stopped at a place called Medicine Hat, 822 miles 
 from Vancouver, and it is well named for everyone under 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 7 
 
 the Hat looked as if it had taken or required medicine; 
 3500 population ; chief industry, loafing. 
 
 Swift Current. 
 
 Swift Current is another alleged town at which we 
 stopped. It is built on a pretty stream bearing that 
 name, but the stream was nowhere in evidence, and the 
 only thing that dignifies it is that the Canadian Govern- 
 ment maintains a meteorological station there, to tell the 
 population how the wind blows. 
 
 Moose Jaw. 
 
 Moose Jaw, population 7000, junction and division 
 line where the Soo line runs direct to St. Paul. Moose 
 are said to abound in the country around. I was moosing. 
 around here and Nellie came pretty near loosing me. 
 
 Winnepeg. 
 
 Arrived at Winnepeg about 4 hours late. This is the 
 Capital of the Province of Manitoba ; has a population of 
 100,000. The Royal Alexandra Hotel, owned by the 
 Canadian Pacific R. R., cost $1,250,000. The town is well 
 built of brick and stone, has good looking street cars ; two 
 rivers meet here, the Red and the Assiniboine. Both are 
 open to steamboat service. This town has been for years 
 the chief port of the Hudson Bay Company. The country 
 abounds with beautiful lakes, large and small. 
 
 Port Arthur. 
 
 We came to Port Arthur, with a population of 8,000. 
 It is on Thunder Bay, an arm of Lake Superior, owns 
 its own street railways, electric light, water and telephone 
 service. 
 
 Ottawa. 
 
 Ottawa, 70,000 population; Capital of Canada, on 
 the junction of Rideau and Ottawa rivers. Splendid 
 
8 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 government buildings are erected of stone, and they call 
 it the Washington of the North. 
 
 MONTREAL. 
 
 Sunday, 7th, Montreal: Arrived about 11:30 a. m., 
 went to the Windsor, the best hotel in town, from what 
 we could learn. It is a fine city and has a population of 
 about 450,000. It is built on the St. Lawrence River and 
 connects with the great lakes. The scenery is good; 
 splendid bridges span the river and a natural park or 
 mountain, known as Mount Royal, up which a zig-zag 
 drive of splendid character lands you at the top, where 
 a circular place has been cleared and a low stone wall 
 built around. The city Jies below and presents a fine ap- 
 pearance with its red brick buildings, broken here and 
 there with city structures of stone. I think this is the 
 best city in Canada ; largely strewn with Irish. You hear 
 some English, much Irish brogue and more French. A 
 statute of a horse on its hind legs and a soldier restrain- 
 ing him by the bridle stands on a granite base, com- 
 memorating the loyalty of Canada to the British, and the 
 formation at this point of a regiment of horse to fight 
 against the Boers in the late war with Africa. 
 
 Montreal is a dry town on Sunday, but in the hotels 
 thirst destroying prevails in every language. 
 
 Monday morning at 10 :15 we left for New York and 
 arrived in the evening, behind time, at the Great Northern 
 Station, where we got a carriage and drove to the Hoff- 
 man House, dead tired of traveling by rail, although we 
 had ridden all the way from San Francisco in a drawing- 
 room with all the comforts appertaining thereto. 
 
 NEW YORK. 
 
 Tuesday, 9th. Devoted the fornoon to seeing Judge 
 Hitchcock and steamship people, Van Schaick Company 
 and others; after noon, sight-seeing in the automobiles, 
 and very nearly caused a strike of the pasengers by de- 
 manding that the old thing start on time; indeed, I had 
 gotten out and a number of ladies were about to follow. 
 When we started we took what is known as the "up 
 town" drive, Fifth Ave., Central Park, the River Side, 
 Cross Town and back to the Flat Iron Building, whence 
 we started having had pointed out the residence of all the 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 9 
 
 millionaires, who have city houses, the buildings of note, 
 municipal, state or national. 
 
 In the evening we went to the Madison Roof- Garden, 
 the place where White was shot by Thaw, a poor place 
 even to shoot a dog, and a poor place for either or any of 
 them to be. We left after the first act. The show had a 
 name, we had no program, but it didn't matter; it was 
 vaudeville and poor at that. 
 
 NIAGARA FALLS. 
 
 Wednesday, 10th. Started for Niagara Falls on the 
 Empire State Limited, the most noted train in the world, 
 according to the railroad statement, making three 
 stops in 440 miles, running over 50 miles an hour, includ- 
 ing- stops. Arrived at 5:15 or a few seconds ahead of 
 time at Buffalo. 
 
 Changed cars, and at 6 :10 arrived at Niagara, 22 miles 
 further, by another train, put up at the Prospect, a 
 finely-appointed home-like hotel, had a fine suite of 
 rooms and bath, after dinner walked through Pros- 
 pect Park down to the bridge and had a good view of 
 the Falls. I have visited them before in winter and like 
 them perhaps better in that season. 
 
 Thursday llth. When we arose it was raining. Wo 
 had a victoria carriage, ordered the evening before 
 for a four hours' drive. It came on time but the 
 rain was still do^ng business. We started, how- 
 ever, and visited the different view points, going down 
 the incline-railroad to the whirlpool, visiting the Canadian 
 side (paying toll going and coming). The rain getting 
 worse, we told the driver to return to the hotel and call 
 for us at train time. We cut out our visit to the cave of 
 the winds, under the Falls, on account of the weather. 
 We left at 11 :45 a. m., caught our Empire State train 
 at Buffalo at 1 p. m., landing in New York at 10 p. m., got 
 a carriage and drove to the Hoffman, where we found a 
 large amount of mail waiting for us, with farewell mes- 
 sages from our friends in San Francisco and other places. 
 
 Friday, 12th. Devoted the principal part of the day 
 shopping and getting ready to sail, but in the early even- 
 ing ordered a carriage and drove across the Brooklyn 
 Bridge then back by Wall street and Trinity Church and 
 
]0 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 the Latin quarter. We finished packing for an early 
 start and found that since we started we had spent about 
 seventy dollars in increased bag-gage. This note I make 
 for my wife 's benefit, as she reads this after I am finished 
 writing. 
 
 ON THE ATLANTIC OCEAN. 
 
 Saturday 13th. Said goodbye to mine host of the 
 Hoffman at nine o'clock a. m., and with a wagon for our 
 belongings and a carriage for ourselves, were on our way 
 to the boat, the "Prinzess Irene." Everything found its 
 way to our cabin without mishap, and at 11 sharp pulled 
 out of the slip with the German band (which J found we 
 carry along) playing "Star Spangled Banner," and thus 
 began our trip across the ocean blue, on our way to 
 Naples. Everybody seemed busy, putting their things in 
 shape after we had passed the points of interest going 
 out of the harbor. 
 
 Our quarters are very good and built to accommodate 
 four, but is occupied, as per price, paid by my wife and 
 myself. I place her first, as she occupies all the cabin 
 except the upper berth. 
 
 Sunday 14th. The morning broke fine because it 
 was the 14th and the German ship company didn't want 
 to throw any salt water on the Frenchman's day, and the 
 German band at lunch-time even so far forgot itself as t 
 play Red, White and Blue. We who were French among 
 the passengers taking it as a compliment to our country 
 applauded, and the English and Americans thought they 
 might be included, helped us out in the applause, and 
 after lunch we found out it was a medley in which most 
 of the numbers were Dutch; so we all tacked to the lee 
 scuppers and felt blue, leaving out the red and white. 
 
 We received the list of passengers in a printed book- 
 let, and they must have discovered the Irish in me, for I 
 find I am down as "James 'Wilson." The people are 
 looking each other over, taking in their fine points and 
 others principally others. The officers are all apparent- 
 ly nice and from my observations the passengers, with 
 few exceptions, will do. 
 
 The weather has been fine all day, therefore church 
 service and prayers were omitted. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 11 
 
 Monday 15th. Weather fine, with head wind, hoping 
 for a little excitement of that character so that a dear 
 lady who persistently sits with a red umbrella up all the 
 time, and who occupies her vocal powers and the chair 
 next to mine, explaining to her lady friend in the adjoin- 
 ing chair how much she enjoyed herself on her "lawst 
 tewea," might find at least a change of position and oc- 
 cupation, so that her stomach might silence her tongue 
 and give me a chance of peace with honor. 
 
 Tuesday 16th Wind blew some last night and yes- 
 terday late, which brought some relief from the red um- 
 brella. 
 
 A new bother has appeared. At our table are seven, 
 or "we are seven"; a Spanish gentleman, a good-natured 
 looking German and a lady who would be his young wife 
 had she room on any of her fingers for a wedding ring. 
 Unfortunately they are all occupied with the most f autistic 
 works of art. They would look well as shoe buckles. She 
 would not be bad looking were it not for a ballet-dancer 
 expression on her lips. The other couple are a little to 
 much for me yet. I am guessing. He is a military man, 
 a son of a father whose only boy v/as he, or a drummer, 
 I cannot tell which, as all three characters jump on the 
 waiter. 
 
 His wife is a would-be-good-natured "woman, and is 
 quite home-like, as she did not feel the necessity of look- 
 ing dignified. 
 
 I imagine they think I am some fellow from out West, 
 soured at the world, using vinegar pickles as a steady 
 diet, getting off in the corner thrice a day to hate myself. 
 
 Wednesday, 17th. "Nothin' doin';" same faces, 
 some are beginning to look good to me though. After 
 you have rubbed up against them a little and the veneer 
 gets worn off, you find some good fellows. I discovered 
 college professors, sculptors, doctors, business men and 
 myself, most of them inclined to cultivate a friendly in- 
 terchange of ideas on almost any subject, from the latest 
 corruption in politics to "who made God. 
 
 ? 5 
 
 Thursday, 18th. Nothing of importance happened, ex- 
 cept to get better acquainted with those already known 
 and make the acquaintance of some others. Among the 
 
12 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 latter may be numbered Mr .Meade, a sculptor and maker 
 of the group in marble of Queen Isabella offering her 
 jewels so that Columbus may be enabled to proceed with 
 his discoveries. This he made for the Capitol of Califor- 
 nia at Sacramento, where it now stands in the rotunda. 
 He also modeled the group in bronze of the Stanford 
 family at the University. He is quite interesting and is 
 married to an Italian wife and has his home and studio in 
 Florence. 
 
 We also have a Princess and her daughter Italian I 
 believe. The girl is about 13-14 and very deep dark red 
 hair, a romping good-natured English-spoken girl, who 
 seems to forget that she is the daughter of anyone in par- 
 ticular. 
 
 AZORES ISLANDS. 
 
 Friday 19th. Great day. After remaining up till 
 after midnight on account of the perfect beauty of the 
 night, got up at the usual time, went through all the usual 
 business, when about 9 a. m. land was sighted. The 
 Azores, or as they are known by sailors, the Western 
 Islands. They were instantly the attraction and every- 
 glass on board was kept busy until late in the afternoon, 
 when we left them behind. 
 
 I will describe them now while I have the data and it 
 is fresh in my mind: They consist of a group of nine, 
 located in mid-Atlantic, about 400 miles in extent, run- 
 ning W .N. W. by B.S.E., situated between lat. 36 59' and 
 39 44' North and longitude 25 10' and 31 7' West of 
 Greenwich 
 
 San Miguel, the largest, lies E. N. E. and W. S. W. 
 in 37 59' North latitude and 25 12' West longitude is 
 about 700 miles west of the coast of Portugal and 1147 
 from the Lizard. Flores, the most western of the islands, 
 is 1680 miles from the shores of Newfoundland. They 
 are named: San Miguel, Santa Maria, Terceira, San 
 Jorge, Pico, Fayal, Graciosa, Flores and Corvo. 
 
 They are of volcanic origin, and were inhabited 
 long before the American Continent was discovered. 
 The population are Portuguese, with a total number of 
 possibly 500,000 as in the census taken in 1878 they had 
 a population of 259,790. On one of the islands is to be 
 found a race so entirely different that some writer has 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 23 
 
 claimed they were originally peopled by the Phoenicians?. 
 These people are found in the town of Koto, and retaiu 
 their own style of dress and habits; will not marry with 
 the Portuguese and live in an old dilapidated street in 
 what is known as the old town. Just when the islands 
 were first peopled, I cannot tell, so let it go at that, but I 
 learn that in 1433 the islands were given by King Duarte 
 to his brother Prince Henr}% the Navigator, for having re- 
 located them. It would seem from this that someone had 
 carelessly mislaid them and didn't know where they were. 
 
 In 1450 some 2000 colonists were sent out; some from 
 Flanders, on account of their heads being wanted at home, 
 and some Portuguese, and so it seems they kept sending 
 passage money for their other friends, till in 1490 there 
 were several thousands of Flanders; but the Portuguese 
 got a hunch that it was up to them to gel some more voters, 
 or the country would go to the bow-wows, and so they 
 sent in enough to marry all available Flander women and 
 proceeded to raise the Portuguese vote to such an extent 
 that at the end of the 16th century no one would even 
 admit that a Flander ever lived in the ward. 
 
 It is related in print that in the year 1493 Christopher 
 Columbus, after his discovery of Hispaniola, or Haita, was 
 blown around to such an extent that his good ship, the 
 "Nina" made for Santa Maria. He had promised during 
 the storm that if the Holy Virgin would call it off, 
 when he struck the first place he would, with the whole 
 bunch, walk naked, except a thin shirt, and give thanks r 
 and on landing on Santa Maria started half of the ship's 
 crew ashore to make good, but the Governor, Don Iva<* 
 de Castenheda, a plain-clothes man, arrested the bunch 
 and put them in prison, as- he thought they were pirates; 
 The "Nina" in the meantime had to put to sea on account 
 of another storm, but soon eame back and Columbus had 
 a parley with the Governor and putting up bail for his 
 men had them all out, and on the 24th of February sailed 
 away. 
 
 Now that is the history of these islands^ whether true 
 or not, but the islands are there to speak for themselves, 
 and a prettier sight I never saw in a tropical climate. 
 Everything that can be dreamed of is grown and the 
 picturesqueness of theupright farms, as some of them are y 
 is remarkable; every field on these slopes being divided 
 from the adjoining one by a stone wall or dyke. The 
 
14 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 houses are built of adobe, or native stone, and present a 
 strange and interesting picture. 
 
 Churches abound in all the islands. I understand 
 their trade is all with Portugal, of which they are a de- 
 pendency. The cultivated fields, the tremenduous amount 
 of labor expended in building up terrace after terrace 
 on the sloping hill sides on which to plant vines, pine 
 apple trees and fruits of all kinds show them to be a peo- 
 ple at least of a dogged and persevering character. From 
 a scenic point of view, I am in love with it. As a place 
 of residence I am afraid I would find things a little lonely 
 and a great deal too hot. 
 
 Saturday, 20th. Just finished crib contest with Mr. 
 Levy Barbour of Detroit, Mich. He beat me. I had been 
 telling him how I would wear his scalp at my belt and drag 
 his tail feathers through the lee scuppers. We finished at 
 11 p. m. Saturday night, so, I being defeated, set about 
 getting something ready for the occasion, and on Sunday 
 had the half of a cantelope scooped out, carved in the out- 
 side skin of it, Wilson Scalp "that's all," and on the 
 other side "Crib." I decorated the engraving with cot- 
 ton batting, got a large soup tureen and placed the prize 
 in it so that it was covered by the lid. It made quite an 
 imposing appearance (the urn did), and after lunch when 
 we were all in the smooking room we formed a kind of 
 meeting, I was called on for a speech and surrendered 
 the Championship of the world to Mr. Barbonr, present- 
 ing him with the trophy. He replied and we had a few 
 drinks and the affair ended very happily. 
 
 GIBRALTER. 
 
 Monday, 21st. Early in the morning about 11 a. m. 
 land was sighted on the coast of Africa and soon Spain on 
 the opposite shore. The attention of the passengers was 
 held from this time onward on account of the change of 
 scene and the many ships sighted, as many as six being in 
 full view at one time; as we approached Gibraltar we 
 passed through the waters where Nelson fought his fam- 
 ous battle of Trafalgar, saw the Spanish fortification and 
 by a strange coincidence it was a Spanish gentleman one 
 of our passengers that pointed out the place to me. The 
 old fort and town of Tariffa (that's how it is pronounced, 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 15 
 
 I don't know how it is spelled. It was all very inter- 
 esting. 
 
 We soon got in full view of the great historic rock, 
 a piece of real estate I had often wished to see and that 
 many of the nations of the earth would like to own. 
 
 Circling around we soon got very close to it and a 
 most wonderful sight it became with its wireless poles, 
 its roads around, its observation stations and buildings 
 for officers and men, and finally its apparent readiness to 
 play ball. 
 
 We came to anchor close to the town and were taken 
 ashore in a tender, a neat little steamer, landed and got 
 into a carriage, which I had already secured through an 
 agent of Cook's who came on board. It was like all tho 
 others, a hackney carriage capable of seating four inside. 
 No, that's wrong, it had seats for four, but how four peo- 
 ple could sit with any comfort I cannot understand, for 
 the seats face each other and when I sat down my knees 
 practically touched the seat in front of me. The driver 
 sits in front and there is room for another passenger 
 alongside of him, usually occupied by the interpreter; at 
 any rate we were all right, as we had the whole carriage 
 to ourselves, having paid for it. A carriage costs $4.00 
 whether you are two or four. We were rather lucky in 
 getting a driver who spoke pretty fair English, and was 
 altogether a decent fellow. He drove us through the 
 principal streets and to the points of interest, through the 
 old Spanish Gate out to the Gardens where a bust of 
 Elliot is placed on a shaft, and further along, over a 
 bridge, was one of Wellington. The town itself is 
 quaint and very picturesque, as is it's history. We drove 
 along the Neutral Zone over as far as Spain. At either 
 end of this Neutral Zone or ground, sentries are stationed. 
 At the Spanish Gate a British carriage is refused admit- 
 tance. At the British side, gates are erected at which 
 soldiers stand and refuse admittance to Spanish carriages. 
 You may enter on foot at either point, after they search 
 you for concealed cannons and other things that might 
 cause the downfall of either country. 
 
 A large number of Spanish people are employed in 
 Gibraltar but when they quit work are compelled to walk 
 out of town across the Neutral Zone and enter the Spanish 
 
10 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Gate, there to remain until they again go to work on the 
 morrow. 
 
 The gates of Gibraltar are closed every evenig at a 
 given hour, varying five minutes each day as the day& 
 lengthen or shorten, being closed at 5 :40 p. m. from Nov. 
 30th to December 10th, and in summer the latest June 5th 
 to July 4th, at 8 :30 p. m. 
 
 It had a population in 1901 of 27,460 as follows : 
 
 Civil 20,355 
 
 Military 6,475 
 
 Port and Harbor 630 27,460 
 
 Of the above population there are 3198 aliens. It has 
 an average rainfall of about 35 inches, but good water 
 from the earth is scarce. As to its history, it has had a 
 varied one. It is one of the ancient pillars of Hercules, 
 the other being Mount Abyla (Cruta) and was first known 
 to the Phoenicians. It was first inhabited by the Moham- 
 medans wlien they wanted Spain. It appears that one 
 Tarik-Ibn-Zeyad, a Moorish chief, landed on the rock on 
 the 30th of April, 711, taking possession and naming it 
 after himself, Gibal-Tarik, or mountain of Tarik. It is 
 claimed by the historian that the present name is a cor- 
 ruption of the above words. It has had many possessors 
 from one period to another, Spanish Moors and Moham- 
 medan taking it from each other, when they needed 
 exercise, but since 1309 up to the time the British took it 
 for keeps it has had eight sieges 1309-15-33-33-49-1411- 
 35-62, taken again by the Spanish. This capture was 
 effected on the 20th of August, St. Bernard's Day, so he 
 is the Patron Saint. 
 
 On the 19th of February, 1706, Gibraltar was declared 
 a free port by Queen Anne, and in 1713 it was ceded to the 
 British by treaty. 
 
 In 1799 Spain took a last chance at it. This is known 
 as the great siege of Gibraltar and lasted till March 12th, 
 1783, when peace was declared and Gibraltar left stand- 
 ing, doing business at the same old stand. It was in this 
 great seige that General Elliot made his name, a bust of 
 him being placed, as I mentioned, in the Gardens. 
 
 The rock itself rises on the bluff side straight up 
 1400 feet., crowned by a powerful battery. The North 
 high point known as Rock Gun or Wolfs Crag is 1250 feet 
 at the signal station 1255 feet and at the South O 'Haras 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 17 
 
 Tower 1-108 feet. The rock itself is limestone or marble 
 formation and red sandstone. 
 
 The town has two parts, the north and south the 
 north being the business and best part. It has two par- 
 allel streets, Waterport street and Irishtown. Back of 
 these streets on terraces are built houses, tier upon tier to 
 about 250 feet above the water. An old Moorish Castle 
 stands out on the side of the rock, back of the town. It is 
 in ruins if course, being built by the Moors in 732 A. D. 
 The South town consists of private dwellings and admir- 
 alty quarters, being separated from the North, or business 
 i by the Alameda and Public Gardens. 
 
 The general impression made on a visitor would be 
 that of an Englishman in Moorish costume smoking Span- 
 ish cigarettes. The houses look more or less English, the 
 stores Moorish and the average individual Spanish and 
 English and conglomerate. The streets are very narrow, 
 the mode of conveyance being hackney carriage for the 
 stranger, donkey mostly for the Spaniard, and walking 
 for the others. 
 
 Visitors are now forbidden admittance to what is 
 known as the Galleries, that being the name bestowed on 
 the fortification. Altogether it is a wonderful sight and 
 one not likely to be forgotten. 
 
 NAPLES. 
 
 Thursday, July 25th. At last, after 12 days, as 
 pleasantly spent both as to weather and the last week 
 or so as to friendships, we arrived in a town that turns 
 out to be a wonder as to history and population. We 
 could not land direct on the wharf but had to take a small 
 steamer or tender ( they are getting a landing place 
 ready). A gentleman from Naples came on board, in- 
 formed me that he was a guide and an honest one at that, 
 and could prove it by several leters in his possession which 
 he practically insisted on me reading. I read some of them, 
 but not knowing how many guides would be necessary, 
 concluded not to engage too many until I found out the 
 strength of the enemy. Still my would-be guide hung on 
 to me and directed the small army that attached them- 
 selves to my baggage and bossed them in a true Neapoli- 
 tan style, giving instructions as to proceeding with the 
 Custom House officials, and indeed was quite a help. In 
 
18 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 a short time he reduced my army to one and made him 
 pack everything from the boat to the tender. The army 
 sweat to the extent of 2 francs and after the Custom in- 
 spection was over and my things deposited in a carriage 
 selected by my would-be general, my army of one inform- 
 ed me through his superior robber chief, that while I had 
 kindly paid him for taking my things on board the tender, 
 I had forgotten all about the Custom House, etc. Being 
 thus rudely awakened I dug in my pockets and discovered 
 a lot of small change, dimes and centimes, dumped them 
 all in the hands of the army and inquired if that was all 
 right. My would be manager announced that it was all 
 right and directed the carriage to proceed. 
 
 It did but we had not gone one hundred feet when 
 the pirate-in-charge of the one-horse craft turned around 
 and announced that it would cost me one dollar in Ameri- 
 can money to get to Bertolini's Hotel. Not knowing 
 how far it was, I feebly instructed him to proceed and 
 that I would settle when he delivered the goods. This 
 seemed to quiet the animal and after about twenty-five 
 minutes' drive we came to a stop. We had arrived at the 
 lift, or rather at the entrance to a long tunnel leading to 
 the lift, which is 240 feet. 
 
 A dapper little fellow came out of the office end of the 
 tunnel and I asked him how much I should pay the driver 
 and he said 30 cents and at this the driver looked the 
 price. I instructed this new found friend to pay the cab- 
 man 50 cents and, giving him a five franc bill or one dol- 
 lar in American money bade him buy a farm on the 
 change. The hack man took his medicine as if he liked 
 it and cracked his whip like ready money. 
 
 This little fellow, whose name I did not ascertain, 
 proved to be a most gentlemanly little fellow and had 
 complete control over all carriage drivers that came to 
 the Hotel and, it being the best in the city, the drivers 
 were afraid to incur his ill-will. 
 
 Our things were soon on the lift, and arriving at the 
 office we found a little Swiss maid in charge. She spoke 
 English with a Cockney accent, so much so indeed that I 
 asked her if she were not English. 
 
 We were, as per our request, assigned to a room with 
 a bath, but it might have as well been called a bath and 
 room, for there was* room enough in the bath-room to 
 start a bathing establishment and the room was large in 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 19 
 
 proportion (so were the charges as we afterwards found 
 out). 
 
 Naples we found to be quite a city, of about 550,000 
 and the largest city in Italy as to numbers. It is very old 
 in history, dating back to 1056 B. C. It is of Greek ori- 
 gin. It was formerly the Capital of the Kingdom of 
 Naples and is now the Capital of the Providence of 
 Naples in the Kingdom of Italy. It is not great of itself 
 in commerce, but it has a history and possesses art treas- 
 ures not of his own but of Pompeii and Herculaneum that 
 make it noted throughout the world. It is supposed to be 
 the most beautifully situated city in the world at the 
 base of Mount Vesuvius and on the Bay of Naples. It 
 seems it used to be a saying: "See Naples and die." 
 That was all right. I would say the same, but let the 
 death part of it be a long time after. 
 
 Naples as a town is not a thing of beauty in its build- 
 ings, so far as architecture in general is concerned, but it 
 has some very beautiful places, especially where their his- 
 toric value is concerned, and when I say this I don't mean 
 the city itself, but its immediate surroundings. 
 
 July 27th. Spent a very pleasant day in the Naples 
 National Museum where all, or pretty nearly all, the 
 art of Pompeii and Herculaneum are stored. Most won- 
 derful is about as much as I can say, after looking at their 
 marbles, their bronzes and their paintings, mosiacs. per- 
 son al ornaments, etc. Naples has some fine buildings. 
 I say some, but her average is common. One building 
 and its contents stands out beyond all, and that is San 
 Martino, an old Monastery, now owned by the Govern- 
 ment and iised as a kind of museum. It contains a won- 
 derful collection of originals and copies of old masters; 
 carvings in wood by old monks; mosaics of great merit, 
 and a picture supposed to be painted (a ceiling effect in 
 48 hours by Luca Giordano, representing Judith) when 
 the painter was in his 72nd year. Looking at the picture 
 and the age of the painter, a chance for a miracle or a 
 large number of assistants comes in. 
 
 The Belvedere, a military station also on this the 
 highest hill around. It contains the Castle St. Elmo and 
 a grand view of the city and Vesuvius can be had from 
 this point. 
 
 One phase of business life in Naples should be men- 
 tioned, as it will strike the ordinary visitor as strange 
 
20 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 that is the milk delivery. Instead of wagons rattling 
 up the streets in the middle of the night and your milk 
 left on the door step, the Neapolitans are served from 
 herds of goats or a cow or two. Almost any afternoon, 
 you will see from 5 to 10 goats on the sidewalk, waiting 
 the return of the boss and one of their number, that has 
 been run upstairs to be milked for a customer. 
 
 The goats can get up a flight of stairs quicker than 
 the milker. It is quite a sight to see half a dozen goats- 
 quietly chewing the cud on the sidewalk, while the boss 
 is chewing the rag upstairs. Any one desiring cows' 
 milk, instead of goats, watch when the cow man comes 
 around with a couple of COW T S, and lower a can or pitcher 
 from the 3rd. or 4th. , story window and wait till the 
 COAV is milked into the recepticle. No pure food inspect- 
 ion necessary. You see your goat or cow; you watch the 
 operation; no middle man here; it is direct from the 
 producer to the consumer. 
 
 POMPEII. 
 
 July 26th. Took the train in the morning, an after 
 one hour's ride reached the station. The trains are 
 something like the the English, but a little worse, I hope. 
 The first-class are not compared to the American trains. 
 We got aboard and our tickets were collected when pass- 
 ing out of the gate at Pompeii, and so far as I remember, 
 we could have had a third-class ticket and ridden in a 
 first-class car. Anyhow, we got there, w r alked about a 
 couple of blocks, bought tickets and a guide and started 
 to visit the world-renowned City of Pompeii. It would 
 appear that it was founded about 600 B. C., and had a 
 very up and down sort of existence until about 80 B. C. 
 when the Romans having got into the habit of taking any 
 old thing from a city to a nation, annexed Pompeii and 
 made it a kind of out-of-town residence place. It was 
 about this time that Rome was splurging so much in fast 
 life and Pompeii became the scene of some of the greatest 
 feasts,, in every sense of the word, that the world has ever 
 heard of. 
 
 It practically became the centre of refinement, art and 
 licentious vulgarity. It would seem from what I can 
 learn that religion had become practically dead so far as 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 21 
 
 real belief goes among- th^ enlightened, but they kept up 
 the appearance to keep the poorer element in subjection, 
 and to such extremes did they go in their religious decep- 
 tion that we find goddesses that were placed in the differ- 
 ent temples with holes in the back of their heads from 
 which pipes lead to under ground passages. The 
 priests of these special gods would, upon occasions, speak 
 through the pipes when it became necessary and a miracle 
 was wrought immediately. I have seen the gods and 
 goddesses and their temples, and they surely had enough 
 to satisfy any Roman community ; but with all their appar- 
 ent hypocricy, extravagance and licentiousness Pompeii 
 was the centre of art and philosophy. 
 
 Its first great trouble occurred in 63 A. D. , when a 
 violent earthquake, on the 5th of February, knocked 
 tilings galley west, upset their temples and their homes. 
 The city was deserted for a time but gradually people 
 came back and rebuilt their houses and some of the tem- 
 ples and public buildings, although it would appear in a 
 half-hearted way, but gradually gaining confidence from 
 year to year, so that in 79 A. D., when it was destroyed, 
 it had regained most of its wonted splendour and all of 
 its vices. 
 
 The city was buried one account of the destruction 
 says the 23rd of August, 79 A. D. and another the 23rd of 
 November of the same year. Anyhow, it occurred, and 
 from what I can learn by reading, the shaking of the 
 earth on this occasion was followed by dense clouds of 
 black smoke and volcanic ashes so thick and so black that 
 when it settled on Pompeii, persons could not see each 
 other. Deluges of rain beat down the ashes and pumice 
 stone dust. People became wild, as in all panics, hun- 
 dreds attempted to make their escape through the marine 
 gate to the sea, and I was informed that owing to the nar- 
 rowness of this street (as, indeed, of all streets in 
 Pompeii) it became choked up with people who perished, 
 and when this street was excavated, the largest portion 
 of bones was found there. 
 
 The eruption, it seems, lasted for about three days, 
 and people who had escaped returned more or less, especi- 
 ally those who had rich belongings, or those who knew of 
 rich belongings of others, and there is no doubt that much 
 
22 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 looting was done, as happened when San Francisco was 
 destroyed. 
 
 The situation in Pompeii appeared to be hopeless and 
 no one seemed to have enough courage to take hold, al- 
 though the reigning Emperor Titus seemed determined to 
 help. Money and other necessaries were sent to the relief 
 of the people, but he found new troubles of his own and 
 forgot Pompeii. 
 
 The former residents who escaped were not desirous 
 of trying again and so the city was left to itself. Cen- 
 turies of accumulation completely buried the former art 
 centre and it became entirely forgotten. No one seemed 
 to know where it was until in 1592 an architect, by the 
 name of Fantana, when cutting for an aqueduct run 
 across some old foundations and inscriptions, and while 
 he knew he had struck something old, he did not know it 
 was part of Pompeii. 
 
 The discovery of Herculaneum in 1748, destroyed at 
 the same time as Pompeii, set the wise ones guessing, and 
 after a lot of talk some prisoners were set to work excavat- 
 ing, but not to dig up and expose the buried city, but for 
 works of art. In 1860 it was taken hold of in earnest, and 
 what we see of it is on account of the efforts from that 
 time on. As it is, and as we saw it, and its products else- 
 where, it was and is wonderful. Its temples were grand, 
 both in size and appointments ; its statues and bronzes are 
 of world-wide reputation, and while I have seen most of 
 them that were collected together, I am not qualified as 
 an art student to comment further than to say, as far as 
 I can see and know, they are very wonderful, both in de- 
 sign and execution. 
 
 I was informed that when the city was destroyed it 
 contained about 30,000 population. Some celebrated 
 characters lived and died there. The houses were one 
 and two stories. I think there was only one three 
 story building in the place. Some paintings in the form 
 of panels and freizes are still on the walls of the more re- 
 cently excavated buildings. A great deal of restoration 
 has been done, but the streets, as a rule, are as they were 
 found. Stepping stones are found at all crossings and on 
 all streets may be found marks of the wheels of the 
 vehicles then used. 
 
 Gods in those days were plentiful, as indicated by the 
 many temples. The people drank much and gambled 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 23 
 
 more. They were very rich or awfully poor, either slave 
 or owner, but all imbued, it would seem, with the one con- 
 suming idea of immorality as we understand it today. 
 But be all these things as they may, Pompeii to me, from 
 what I know of her past and what I can see of her at pres- 
 ent, is great and an object lesson to the civilized world as 
 a copy and a warning. 
 
 THE POSILIPO. 
 
 The drive out from Naples is fine. You see grottos 
 or real cave dwellers, houses literally cut into the Tufa 
 or mud stone from the volcano that is used in build- 
 ing all the houses in Naples. In driving out this way you 
 also pass the house where Garibaldi died (his body rests 
 in Sicily, his native home). We also passed a cave or cut 
 in the rock, where we found a blacksmith shop on the 
 road level, a dwelling above and on top of all a church, 
 and I wondered did it happen that way, or were they put 
 there as representing Hell, Earth and Heaven. 
 
 \Ve also had our attention called to an ancient 
 residence on an island where Cassius summered, a place 
 where St. Paul landed on his way to Rome, and a summer 
 residence of a gentleman by the name of Nero, somewhat 
 better known as a fiddler than even Schmitz, who used to 
 spend his evenings practising for the grand concert in 
 which he led when Rome was burned, and this recalls a 
 thought, why didn't that other fiddler play when San 
 Francisco was burning? Well, perhaps he was making 
 other arrangements. 
 
 On this drive as well as on the trip to Pompeii we were 
 accompanied by my puzzle and his wife, who sat at our 
 table on the steamer, and who turned out to be most ex- 
 cellent people, and who at Pompeii seemed to enjoy with 
 us their meal of flies, as well as the slumming of Naples. 
 They are gone, pleasant memories linger; not of the flies 
 or the slums, but of the puzzle. 
 
 LA CAVE. 
 
 July 28th. Took train and guide for La Cave to take 
 in some of the most beautiful scenery I have yet enjoyed. 
 Our guide is the man who has driven us around Naples. 
 His good-natured " please " and a "Mr. Wilson " when he 
 
24 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 wants attention are a part of his accomplishments. 
 
 A ride of two hours brought us to La Cave, so-called 
 because of caves. We stayed here long enough to go to 
 the Hotel Londres, where I had a bottle of beer and had 
 another put in our carriage as a safeguard, because in 
 Italy you can get wine almost anywhere, but beer seldom. 
 The whip cracked and we were off. By the way, if I have 
 not mentioned it before, the cracking of the whip in Italy 
 is a very important affair. Crack your whip and it seems 
 to me you are at liberty to run over anyone who should 
 ordinarily hear your crack. We travelled for 16 miles 
 through villages, villas and hills. There may be prettier 
 scenery somewhere else in the world, but at present I am 
 a Missourian. I thought the people in the Azores were 
 great in reclaiming land by building walls, but they 
 hadn't graduated from the grammer school in that in- 
 dustry, compared with the finished college people of hor- 
 ticulture and venticulture of the Appenines. Why, walls 
 10 to 30 feet high 'of rocks are built on almost perpen- 
 dicular mountain sides for the purpose of gaining about 
 four feet of level ground. Then they have to go and rob 
 nature from some other place for earth, pack it in baskets 
 on their shoulder or head, and then plant either grapes 
 or lemons and attend to them in such a manner that if 
 Calif ornians devoted one-quarter of the time to their 
 orchards and vineyards, it seems to me our wines and 
 fruits would be so materially benefitted that we would be 
 for quality the wine and fruit country of the world. 
 Well, this story is almost as long as our drive. 
 
 AMALFI. 
 
 We arrived at Amalfi, after a drive of 2% hours. I 
 should remark, however, that the road we had traversed 
 was almost on the sea coast and a rough one at that, 
 but the road was a dandy, and all the way, as I learned 
 after lunch w r hen we drove to Sorrento, has a bulkhead 
 wall on the ocean side for about 36 miles about 2' 6" 
 high of stone. Sometimes large rocks fall from the 
 overhanging cliffs and carry away parts of this wall, but 
 the Province takes care of it and the rock that tumbles 
 down is used to build up the new wall. 
 
 In Amalfi I am sure I saw old men of 70 or 80 who 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 25 
 
 were born in the place and I believe never knew what it 
 meant to have shoes on their feet. 
 
 I wandered around after having lunch, waiting for it 
 to get cool, and I was either importuned by carriage driv- 
 ers for hire, beggars for money, or stared at to such an ex- 
 tent that I didn't get a look at the Cathedral, which in 
 Italy is usually the most magnificient sight of the town; 
 no matter how poor in residence, it is always rich in 
 church* s. 
 
 SORRENTO. 
 
 Well, a continuation of our drive brought us into 
 Sorrento in the evening about 8 :30 p. m. We were driven 
 ( to the Hotel Tramontane. We were assigned to quarters, 
 consisting of a large drawing-room and bed-room opening 
 out on the waters of the Bay of Naples. We afterwards 
 j'ound out that these rooms wer occupied by the then 
 Prince Imperial of Prussia, Frederick, in 62, and that 
 the Princess of Russia, who afterward became somebody 
 else, had also slept and possibly snored in these very same 
 r.xuns. We were tired and, like the former ro} r al occu- 
 pants, luul dinner served in the apartments, not because 
 oi' our royalty but because of the hour. 
 
 The Feast of Santa Ana was finished at 11 by a great 
 1 is; >lay of fireworks close to our room. I forgot to men- 
 tion that I tipped the waiter with a franc and someone 
 else on account of our satchels, or something, but in the 
 morning it seemed to me that everyone in the hotel was 
 in our employ, not permanently but just long enough to 
 acquire a franc. At 10 a. m., after settling with every- 
 body I could find, my wife informed me, that it was at 
 least an hour since she had given the chambermaid a 
 franc, and as I had noticed her watching me and saying 
 ''good-night" as I passed, I hurried back and found her 
 beating my pillow and using the most violent language. 
 It was Italian ! She saw me ; I saw her. She smiled ; I 
 coughed up a franc. The atmosphere cleared, so did 1, 
 thinking I was happy if broke. We took a small boat 
 and went out to meet the steamer that was to take us to 
 the blue Grotto at the Island of Capri. Just as I was 
 getting on the steamer I remembered that neither the 
 second cook nor the dish-washer had been tipped. The 
 
26 r HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 result was indigestion and dirty water all the balance of 
 the day. 
 
 CAPRL 
 
 We steamed away and after about an hour arrived at 
 Capri, where a number of small boats were in attendance. 
 Only two persons and the boatman are allowed, unless 
 they are small. 
 
 The rocks on the island here are straight up and down 
 and the steamer ran close to shore, within a hundred 
 feet of the sheer rocks. 
 
 A small opening marks the entrance to the Grotto 
 and so low that you are compelled to lie fiat in the boat 
 to get through, but once inside the Grotto widens out and 
 is arched over almost like one of those large cathedrals. 
 It is about 100 yards long and 70 wide; but the great 
 thing about it is the color of the water. When you are 
 at the further end and coming back to the opening, the 
 color effect in blue is indescribable. You duck again and 
 soon are out on the Bay of Naples. All the boats are 
 making for the steamer, and after paying your entrance 
 fee to a gentleman by the name of Alibaba, the other mem- 
 bers of the 40 thieves, (the boatmen), are getting what is 
 left by yelling at you "macoro macoro", which being in- 
 terpreted means: "I would like to cut your throat and 
 scuttle your ship if you don't yield all you've got." It 
 is a yell that the most ignorant dog of a foreigner under- 
 stands without any Baydecker notes to enlighten him. 
 We paid, but I had some money in the Bank at Naples 
 that they did not know about and therefore was not asked 
 to write a cheque. After our release from the pirates we 
 landed on the island proper, where, should the native 
 landsmen prove to be highwaymen, we would at least 
 have a run for our money which we couldn't have 
 with the pirates we had just left. 
 
 Capri is a small island in the Bay of Naples and 17 
 miles south of that eity. At its extremes it is 4^2 miles 
 by 2, but has only 5% square miles of surface. It is very 
 mountainous and pretty. The highest point, Mount 
 Solaro, is 1920 feet. It has a population of about 6500, 
 two towns, Capri and Anacapri. A couple of Saints are 
 kept busy San Costanza taking care of Capri, and St. 
 Antonio looking out for the Anacapri contingent. These 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 27 
 
 .saints have their regular feast clays and the other 363 
 days have their regular or special feastivities. 
 
 Nature and the women raise fruit, oil and wine. The 
 men raise Cain and the price of carriage or boat hire. 
 Some 35,000 of the sucker family visit the island an- 
 nually, and yet the place is well worth seeing even at 
 the price. 
 
 It has been known, more or less, since 600 B. C., but 
 became noted as the residence of Augustus and Tiberius; 
 the latter having kept house here for ten years from 
 27 A. D., and it is said he amused himself by having the 
 prisoners thrown over a cliff and listening for the echo 
 of the dull thud from below. This form of amusement 
 ceased the morning Tiberius cashed in. 
 
 Capri, the town, is reached by a drive up and around 
 the hill or mountain. It is pleasantly situated, and 
 commands a good view. It consists of a church, one 
 short, straight street and another street like the natives. 
 At the end of the natives' street is a hotel where we had 
 a passing good meal. 
 
 A few years after the death of Tiberius the island 
 was handed around from one to the other till it became 
 almost thread bare, and they were about to close out at 
 bargain counter prices, when along comes a German 
 painter by the name of A. Kopish and discovers the 
 Blue Grotto. 
 
 Immediately following this, which occured in 1826, 
 a miraculous cavern was discovered in the hillside. 
 Then the future of the island became assured; the cor- 
 porate stock was watered and dividends were declared 
 on preferred and common shares. 
 
 After we had seen the cave, in which a shrine and a 
 light are maintained, heard the legends of the place 
 and how it happened, we were driven down to the boat, 
 which was waitng to take us back to Naples. 
 
 On our return to Naples in the evening we had the same 
 experience in landing on small boats, but in this case we 
 put it up to the guide Ananias to settle with Alababa. 
 Our guide had been our driver so no trouble was had in 
 getting a carriage. A cracking of whips and a drive of 
 25 minutes brought us to our cave in Naples, which we 
 entered like the hunted animal, glad to get back to a place 
 where at least you could lock your door, put your watch 
 
23 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 under your pilllow, throw your purse through the tran- 
 som and lie down to take a well-paid for, if not a well- 
 earned sleep. 
 
 Tuesday, July 30th. Spent the above date in the 
 Museum and visiting the bank and getting ready for 
 Rome the following day. Took a carriage late in the a- 
 ternoon and visited the slums part of the town again ; it 
 surely is a corker! 
 
 EOME. 
 
 Wednesday, 31st. After breakfast in room and set- 
 tling with the Hotel proper, and paying off all the help, 
 we finally got seated in a carriage on our way to the 
 station, and after the usual amount of fussing with get- 
 ting our baggage from the carriage into the cars, at 9 :50 
 the horn sounded, the whistle blew and we were off, and 
 at 2:15 in the afternoon on time we stepped off the train 
 and taking a carriage were driven to the Hotel Splendid 
 on the Corso Umberto, and, as usual, assigned to good 
 quarters. After getting washed we took a carriage and 
 having the hotel man speak to the Roman citizens in his 
 native vernacular to drive around for a couple of hours 
 without explanation to us, but he knew we conld speak 
 English and he thought he could ; so the opportunity to let 
 us see that he could talk was too much for him and he 
 told us the places he passed, and it helped out when we 
 really started out sight-seeing. After dinner we wander- 
 ed around some, visiting some of the shops that seem to 
 keep open especially for Americans. 
 
 Thursday, Aug. 1st. Ordered a carriage and guide 
 and started doing Rome in good earnest. Now let me say, 
 Rome was and is and will be quite a place in the world's 
 affairs, and while there are a few things I do not know 
 about it and one or two things I may have overlooked, 
 and some of the things I saw or was told about that I am 
 not thoroughly convinced of, yet it is a most wonderful 
 place. I need not write when it first got a move on or 
 advertised corner lots for sale on which to erect forums 
 or Basilicas, Pagan temples or Christian churches. It has 
 been known more or less since 750 years B. C. and has 
 ranged as high in population as a million in the 2nd cen- 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 29 
 
 tury, the time when it seems it attained its great prom- 
 inence, and got as low as 85,000 in the 16th century anct 
 about 450,000 at the present time. It is on the Tiber or 
 on both sides of it, although the book says on the left bank 
 where the seven hills are, called: Capitoline, Quirinal, 
 Viminal, Esquiline, Palatine, Aventine and Caelius not 
 much as hills go. These hills were the site of the ancient 
 tovrn, but got left or forgotten, when more choice lots 
 were put on the market. 
 
 I drove to the American College and presented a let- 
 ter i'rom the Archbishop of San Francisco, requesting the 
 privilege of seeing the Pope. Got another document and 
 u -s taken to another part of the city, where I presented 
 this letter and was informed that tickets would be sent to 
 my hotel. Saturday was to be arranged if possible, as we 
 wanted to leave Sunday. 
 
 St. Peters'. 
 
 We then began with St. Peter 's and saw it very 
 thoroughly, first because of the guide that we had, and 
 secondly because of the letter. St. Peter's would take all 
 of this book and many others to tell about, but a little 
 space will be all at present. 
 
 It seems that this was the old site of the Circus of 
 Nero and where St. Peter was buried. Anyhow it would 
 appear that about 313 the Christians in Rome, who or- 
 ganized in the middle of the first century and had become 
 r<M> numerous, had been getting some hard knocks from a 
 )ot of nilrrs. when along comes Constantine about this 
 time and proclaims equal rights to all religions, and upon 
 the request of Pope Sylvester I, this Emperor actually 
 started to build St. Peter's Church. 
 
 The original one went to the bad in the course of 
 time, and in 1452 the foundation for the present building 
 was laid Nicholas V being responsible for the idea of a 
 new St. Peter's. It continued to be built and painted off 
 and on by all the more or less celebrated architects, sculp- 
 tors and painters, including Michael Angelo and Raphael 
 The new church was consecrated by Pope Urban on the 
 18th of Nov. 1626, 1300 years after the day the old church 
 was consecrated by St. Sylvester. 
 
 We visited the place where St. Peter is buried, in a 
 spot immediately under the Papal Altar, and under the 
 
30 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Alter and above St. Peter's remains is a small box con- 
 taining the clippings of skin from the young kids that 
 are skinned to make the stole for newly consecrated bish- 
 ops. Visited the jewel and regalia room or treasury and 
 saw the precious jewels and vestments worn by the Pope, 
 and the several statues on their day when the church 
 celebrates, such as St. Peter's, etc. 
 
 Saw all the celebrated mosiacs, copies of the master- 
 pieces in paint and the mosaic masterpieces in that par- 
 ticular line. Visited the rooms in which the mosaics are 
 made, and had a general and special look all over the 
 church and its surroundings: 
 
 The Colisseum and Forum. 
 
 Friday Aug. 2nd. Visited the Colisseum and Forum. 
 The Colisseum was called the "Amphithaetrum" and 
 was considered the most imposing structure in the 
 world; was completed by Titus in 80 A. D. Its present 
 name, it is said, was derived from the colossal statue of 
 Nero. It was elliptical in form, 1719 feet in circumfer- 
 ence and was about 158 feet high. It could seat between 
 40,000 and 50,000 people without putting up the sign, 
 4 'standing room only". When it was opened it had a 
 run of 100 days fighting between man and beast, and it is 
 said 5000 wild animals were slain. No account of the men 
 slain is given, as it seems there were more of them than 
 the wild animals left; it had quite an exciting time, but 
 in the middle ages went to the bow-wows, as the other 
 animals had ceased to come to it, but what's left of it is 
 still quite a show. 
 
 The Forum, or at least two of them, are good to look 
 on, especially the Forum of Tragan which has been dug 
 out and some restoring done to show how it happened. 
 
 St. Paul's Church. 
 
 We then drove around the old Roman walls and outside 
 the city to St. Paul's Church, which was built with 
 Peter's pence, and I have decided in my mind that this 
 was what started the saying of "Robbing Peter to pay 
 Paul", for no excuse could be found for the erection of 
 such a church in such a place. 
 
 It is in the country, but it is said Paul was buried in 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 31 
 
 this spot after he was beheaded, about 3 miles further 
 out in the country, at a spot where now stands 
 another old convent and church, and the only reason I can 
 assign for him getting himself beheaded out there was 
 to give the carriage drivers a chance to collect extra fare 
 to drive people out to visit the spot, as outside the walls 
 is extra. 
 
 St. Paul's Church is beautiful, but no congregation to 
 worship just a show place. 
 
 The Catacombs. 
 
 Out in the country we also visited the Catacombs, a 
 place where early Christians were buried and often took 
 refuge before they found a resting place. The earth is of 
 a muddy volcanic origin. It was dug out in passages and 
 on the side of these passages niches were dug out large 
 enough to place the body in. Those who were put to 
 death on account of their religion had the consolation 
 that when their little hole was dug out it would have an 
 arched shape instead of a common oblong hole ; therefore 
 it paid in the long run to be a martyr. 
 
 This graveyard was stories high; when they filled up 
 one place they went deeper and a person would have little 
 show in reading the street signs down there. So this 
 was one of the places I was glad we had a guide along. 
 
 Hadrian's tomb is one of the conspicuous piles that 
 stand out. There are no windows and it is circular. 
 
 St. John's Church. 
 
 St. John's the Lateran, is a wonderful old church in 
 sculpture and mosaics and, if I remember right, is to 
 be the resting place of Pope Pius IX, we visited the tomb, 
 which was unveiled just a few days prior to our visit. 
 
 St. Peter-in-Chains Church. 
 
 St. Peter-in-Chains is another old church, erected 
 where Peter was supposed to be in prison and in chains. 
 The chains are hanging in front of the Altar, and I saw 
 a young devotee go in and kiss the chains. It was to me 
 a very impressive sight and I am sure she went away a 
 much better woman, and yet while she was in this very 
 
HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 act of devotion our guide was almost touching- her ex- 
 plaining- in an ordinary manner about these chains and a 
 priest was holding the chains to the girl's lips, and I came 
 to the conclusion that religion was very commercial in 
 Rome, and while I am not a Roman, yet I would not al- 
 low the mob to tramp around the church at the time when 
 people who are ardent Catholics are at their devotions. 
 
 We did a monumental amount of sight-seeing and re- 
 turned to the hotel very tired, but after washing off the 
 dust of the Catacombs from the outside and washing down 
 the many miraculous stories with a drink for the inside 
 and a good dinner, went out again to see the modern city 
 by night. 
 
 THE POPE. 
 
 Saturday, Aug. 3rd. This was a busy day; dressed, 
 took our carriage and tickets, which had arrived, and 
 started out to see His Holiness the Pope. Arriving at 
 the Palace you pass a lot of guards and are directed from 
 one place to another until you are finally taken hold of 
 by one of the men in waiting and finally assigned to a 
 particular room. I am not sure, but I think we were in 
 the second from where the Pope comes out; at any rate, 
 we were placed in a semi-circle and when he was an- 
 nounced everyone kneels on the floor on both knees ; he 
 comes in and extends his hand to each one as he passes 
 along and they kiss his hand or the ring, and when any 
 one addresses him he stops and listens and replies in the 
 language spoken. They were all of the Latin race who 
 addressed him in our room. He replied in a word or two 
 and usually put his hand on their heads by way of a 
 blessing after he has gone around the room. He speaks 
 to all, I suppose ending with a blessing, at which all cross 
 themselves. It came upon me so suddenly that I was 
 behind in doing so, and I suppose looked out of place, but 
 I got there some way. 
 
 He is a fine looking man and far from being old in the 
 physical sense. He then passes into the next room and 
 so on until I think he comes to a general assembly room, 
 where a large part of the audience seemed to be as- 
 sembled. We had to wait after his visit to our room until 
 he had passed through all the adjoining rooms, when we 
 were conducted back through the Palace and out again. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 33 
 
 The regulations prescribes black clothes, usually full 
 dress for men and any black for women, they wearing a 
 black veil in addition. We visited the Sistine Chapel 
 where the popes are elected, and many other places of 
 interest. Went home to change our clothes and see as 
 much as possible in the remaining afternoon and evening. 
 
 Rome as I saw it was a revelation in many things a 
 thing to be long remembered, with a certain amount of 
 respect and veneration, but not with an unlimited amount 
 of pleasure ; to visit it once or twice is worth while ; to 
 rave over it is foolish. 
 
 FLORENCE. 
 
 Sunday, Aug. 4th. Left the Eternal City at 10:10 a. 
 m. and arrived at Florence about 3 p. m., took a carriage 
 and drove around the town and park, after we had rested 
 up at the Grand Hotel on the banks of the Arno river. 
 The weather was hot. more so than any place yet. 
 
 Florence is quite a city and the real headquarters in 
 literature and art. It first began to sit up and take notice 
 about 200 B. C. when it was under Roman rule, and 
 when Rome went out of the ruling business, others offered 
 their services as general managers. First, one was at the 
 bat, then another plebians and aristrocrats. The 13th 
 and 14th century found her the centre of refinement in 
 literature and art, and through all her ups and downs, 
 has managed to hold it even to this day all the best in art 
 being hers by right. In population about 200,000; built 
 on the Arno ; celebrated especially for mosaic work in 
 marble and statuary in the same stone ; has a very effec- 
 tive cathedral in marble of various colors. It was be- 
 gun about 1296 and finished in about 1462. A tower 
 built of the same material stands alongside, known as the 
 Campanile, begun and finished a little earlier. 
 
 A baptistry stands across the Square, a place where 
 the children are baptised; is also of the same character 
 of stone and old. 
 
 Leaning Tower of Pisa. 
 
 It was during our visit to Florence that we took a 
 trip to Pisa, chieflly to see the leaning tower. We left at 
 noon and found ourselves in a carriage in Pisa about 2 :30 
 
34 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 p. m. ; drove up town, saw the leaning tower close to. 
 Our driver and the book told us to go into a sculptor's 
 place and get tickets. I went. I paid two francs, and in 
 the meantime bought a model of the tower in marble to 
 be shipped to San Francisco. This I did while he sent 
 out for change. 
 
 I suppose it was my own fault, I told him I would not 
 climb the tower if he gave it to me for nothing rn account 
 of the heat. We started off with the tickets, and upon 
 presenting them at the door were told they were no good 
 there, only good for the cemetery. I thought the fellow 
 meant for me to go bury my sorrow, so returned to the 
 ticket man. I was red hot, so w T as the day. I wanted 
 explanations. The ticket man told me I did not get 
 tickets to the tower but the cemetery. So after seeing as 
 much of the tower at close quarters as I wanted, we 
 wandered over to the cemetery, and the man let us in 
 without looking to see if we were really dead. He took 
 our tickets though, I suppose to show that we were legally 
 there should any question arise as to our rights in an Ital- 
 ian cemetery. This is the result of my visit. 
 
 The Leaning tower first: 
 
 I had long heard of it and seen pictures of it, and after 
 looking at the real thing am not so much impressed as I 
 was before, for there is a grave doubt, even in history, as 
 to whether it was not built that way on purpose. It is 
 written that it was begun in the year 1174 by one Bon- 
 anno of Pisa and finished by a gentleman by the name of 
 Tommaso in the middle of the 14th century. That is, the 
 last or eighth story was put on. It is agreed that the 
 lean took place while the tower wais being con- 
 structed and was positively at its present lean when Tom- 
 maso added the last story. I am inclined, as is the tower, 
 to believe that in the early days of its construction some of 
 the masons were not paid their wages and filed a lien on 
 the building as the law was rather slow in Pisa about that 
 time, it was allowed to drag along and consequently has 
 never been straightened out. This may not be so, but I 
 think it about as near right as most of the things I have 
 been hearing; anyhow, it is eight stories high, has 207 
 columns and 293 steps inside, and not less than three are 
 allowed to go to the last story. It is built of marble. It 
 is 179 feet high and 14 feet out of plumb. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 35 
 
 The Cathedral. 
 
 The Cathedral has some peculiar things about it and 
 the knights of St. Stephen, who were Christian knights 
 and fought in the Crusades, a picture of William the Lion- 
 hearted is there swearing to the Pisians. If he had been 
 there the day I was he would be swearing at them as I 
 was. 
 
 The Cemetery of Pisa. 
 
 The Camposanto, or cemetery, is also a wonder. It is 
 related that those Pisans in the year 3192 brought over 
 from Jerusalem 53 galleys of earth to start this graveyard 
 of their own, and a peculiarity attached to the soil was 
 that it decomposed and consumed a body in 24 hours, and 
 is said to represent the triumph of death by the three dead 
 bodies in Orgagnas Putrefaction, decomposition and final 
 reduction to dust. The two inscriptions on the outside 
 are, 1st: "Those of the faithful buried in this place will 
 be saved/' The other reads: "Thou who passeth look, 
 pause and think what thou art, for all must finally come 
 to this abode. Whoever thou art, stop, read, weep! I 
 am what thou wilt be ! I was what thou art! For God's 
 sake pray for me!" 
 
 Many old tablets and funeral urns are here. It is an 
 oblong square, with an open space in the middle for the 
 everyday people. It is 135 metres long and 43 wide and 
 15 high. It has 43 inclosed arches on 44 pillars and the 
 capitals of each column has a sculptured figure. Many 
 old paintings are on the walls by so-called old masters, 
 but I hesitate to pass judgment as they are pretty badly 
 worn; anyhow, I hope I won't try for a corner in ceme- 
 teries for some time ; still, should anything happen, I want 
 to take longer than they allow to decompose myself. I 
 looked at the time, found I still retained my watch and 
 return ticket, and bidding goodbye to Pisa's live adt, the 
 tower with a lean on it, the church and graveyard with 
 their dead issues, I returned to Florence, took a drink 
 and tried to see things straight. 
 
 VENICE. 
 
 August 6th. In the afternoon we left Florence 
 
36 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 for the city that needs no watering carts and arrived 
 about 10 :30. We were met at the station by all the hotel 
 runners, and having previously decided on the Grand 
 Danieli, we were invited to step into the water wagon. 
 We soon started up the main sewer or street and made 
 many turns, from wide canals to small ones and from 
 those to smaller, until we thought the Hackdelier was 
 trying to drive us up a back alley, scuttle the hackboat 
 and drown us in the rubbish water. After about an hour 
 of this we arrived at the hotel and were shown to our 
 quarters; very good, all satisfactory; large room, too 
 much cumbersome furniture. This used to be one of the 
 old Doges Palaces, and I suppose it got the name from 
 him dodging the furniture. It was the cause of my down- 
 fall more than once. 1 am no doger. 
 
 August 7th. Got up early, turned on the street into* 
 the bath tub, and after rolling around in the gutter, so 
 to speak, felt much refreshed. Had breakfast and thought 
 I would row out for a stroll, but I was agreeably surprised 
 when I learned that by going out and turning to the right 
 and walking a block I would be at St. Mark's Square. 
 Now since I have found out that I can walk, I have since 
 found out some other things, and while they are fresh in 
 my mind I will put them down. 
 
 It seems in early days that people were looking: 
 around for a quiet place to get away from the general 
 scrapping, then the regular occupation of the human fami- 
 ly, and to get out of the way, got into this mud place 
 where they could not be bothered much. Others came 
 and in course of time we find Venice not what she has 
 been, or is, but a mud nucleus. It is unnecessary to fol- 
 low her through her struggles and her triumphs and her 
 downfall. 
 
 Venice is situated on the northwest coast of the Ad- 
 riatic, about 2% miles from shore on or in a logune or 
 Lagoon, seperated from the sea proper by low sand banks. 
 It consists of 118 islands, joined by 450 footbridges and 
 divided into two parts by the Grand Canal 4153 yards 
 long. It is the Capital of its Province, has a tide of 2% 
 feet, has a popluation which is fluctuating. Call it 130,- 
 000 straight. It is built on piles, has 150 canals, but you 
 can walk all over it without getting very wet. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 37 
 
 St. Mark's Church. 
 
 In 829 some fishermen took the liberty of stealing the 
 body of St. Mark from Alexandria and brought it home 
 with them, and the population not knowing what to do 
 with it, held a meeting in the town hall I suopose. A 
 citizen from the 12th ward, whose name has been forgot- 
 ten, was called to the chair and it was decided that in or- 
 der to accomplish anything, it was first in order to adopt 
 resolutions. The motion was carried and it was resolved 
 that Mark should be the Patron Saint of Venice, and 
 be it further resolved that a church be built to his mem- 
 ory and his sacred bones be entombed in the same. In 
 830 the pile foundation-stone was laid and the building 
 of the church was launched. It has 500 columns of por- 
 phyry, verde antique, Serpentine, red marble, granite and 
 basalt. It was completed in the 12th century, but like all 
 other churches, has been restored more or less ever since ; 
 still it is a wonderful thing. 
 
 I was just about to enter, when a gentleman who 
 iniuht have been present at the first meeting when they 
 decided to build, stepped up and told me he was the guide, 
 and that he would do the job for a franc. I annexed him 
 to my pay roll and told him to get off his coat and get 
 busy. He told me more about the foundation of the 
 church than would describe the foundation of the uni- 
 verse, showed me the beautiful columns; the Pope's chair; 
 the chair occupied by the present Pope who was the 
 Bishop here before he was elected Pope; the beautiful 
 paintings, bronzes and marbles, mosaics and woodwork, 
 mostly captured or stolen, as was St. Mark's body, for in 
 those days all plunder of great value was given to the 
 church. 
 
 After getting to the outer door I wanted a glass of 
 beer for the place was warm. He showed me the way. 
 My wife looked at a lace window and the guide had her 
 inside in a minute and the whole tribe were trying to sell 
 her lace. I reminded this self-appointed guide that it was 
 beer I wanted and they offered to have beer brought into 
 the work place where the girls were embroidering. I got 
 my beer, so did my old guide. We saw a mosaic window 
 and he told us he would take us to the factory. Well we 
 went; he showed us in; the boss took charge of us and 
 took us through and we saw the whole process, which was 
 
38 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 very interesting. When we came out our old guide was 
 sitting on the steps still in my employ. I adjusted mat- 
 ters without strike or arbitration. He still thinks he is 
 working for me, for during my stay every time he saw 
 me he would raise his hat and be ready for active service. 
 
 The Doge Palace, 
 
 The Doge Palace next attracted our attention. The 
 first Doge Palace was ordered built in 809. This run 
 along and answered all purposes until after fights about 
 who should Doge the country, they burned up the Palace 
 to get rid of the Doge. In the fire he attempted to 
 escape through the church and the conspirators didn 't do 
 a thing to him. He was buried soon after. A new Doye 
 put the old Palace in repair at his own expense as he was 
 in on the fire committee that burned it down. The 
 Palace was added to for centuries until 1422 the Council 
 voted for a new Palace, and the present one was begun in 
 1424. Both wings of the Palace were destroyed by fire in 
 1577, but were immediately restored. In going through 
 the Palace, I was deeply impressed with all I saw, heard 
 and read. 
 
 The Council. 
 
 I cannot put it all down here and I will forget what I 
 don't put down, but some of it is just as well left out. 
 There seems to have been a great deal of grafting going 
 on in Venice, and traitors were on every croner ; so in 1310 
 a Council of 10 were elected to take a hand in affairs and 
 try people charged with special crimes, such as traitors, 
 false coiners and sodomites. The Council also had a 
 general supervision over secret societies and ceremonies. 
 At this court a prisoner could not be defended by any of 
 his connections, but the court appointed two who should 
 defend him, as we have in our courts at the present time 
 when a prisoner cannot have an attorney. 
 
 This Council, at its monthly meetings, elected a coun- 
 cil of three who served for one month and who received 
 charges against traitors, etc., by communications placed in 
 a box in the wall, and it took two of the three to open 
 the box, although the three were generally present, but 
 two keys were necssary to open the box. They reported 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 39 
 
 to the ten and what they said was generally a "go", as 
 they called the 10 together when they thought they had 
 some one up a tree. 
 
 The guide told us that when a person was accused 
 and found guilty by the council it was generally Sikh, a 
 sound he made with his tongue, a movement with his fin- 
 ger across the neck and a smile on his face, as if he was 
 one of the Council of three. 
 
 Lido and Murano. 
 
 Venice by itself would soon make you tired or broke, 
 or both, but a bathing place called Lido attracts the gen- 
 eral attention. It is a few miles across from the town of 
 Venice where a fine hotel is erected, and a good bathing 
 place afforded. I went there, came back and sought my 
 bath tub; it is more modest. Another place is Murano, 
 the place where they manufacture the Venetian glass. 
 We called there. They made all sorts of things from 
 roses to cauliflowers for our benefit or theirs. I don't 
 remember which, for I gave the workman three franc 
 and carried nothing away but a memory. 
 
 The Gondolas. 
 
 The gondola is a cross between a Chinese shrimp 
 boat and an Indian canoe. It is painted black because 
 the gondola, in the 16th century, was a gaudy swan-like 
 affair in which the lovesick swain wandered up and down 
 the water front singing tra la la to his or the other fellow's 
 inamorata, until he became a nuisance and some crusty old 
 doge, to put a stop to this, decreed that all gondolas 
 should hereafter be put in mourning and the old law still 
 stands; hence the reason for all gondolas in Venice being 
 painted black. This was done to stop the young fellows 
 from painting the town red. 
 
 I could say more about Venice, but it would be cruel. 
 This I will say, take away her history and give me any old 
 stream like the Alameda Creek, cut a few cross sections, 
 drive a few piles in the mud and I will in ten years leave 
 Venice in the shade in everything except mosquitoes, fak- 
 ers and grafters. 
 
 Venice is worth a visit. It does one good to visit St. 
 Mark's Square and help feed the pigeons thousands of 
 
40 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 them there. You buy ten centimes of corn and they will 
 flock around you, alight on your hand and head and eat 
 out of your hand like a real Italian. 
 
 Venice, goodbye! I have tried your gondolas of the 
 12th century, manipulated by your 20th century gondolier, 
 and he is not a thing of beauty; I have tried your 20th 
 century gasoline launch. I prefer it. I have bought your 
 wares and paid your price. I would not have missed see- 
 ing you, but having seen you, I would not have missed 
 seeing you, had I not seen you. 
 
 Leaving Venice Under Difficulties. 
 
 Friday, Aug. 9th. This was a bad day. Was awak- 
 ened by my wife who had gotten up before five o 'clock to 
 have her bath as we had to leave about 6:10. It seems 
 when she turned on the hot water the plug came out and 
 the hot water flooded the floor. I tried to stop it and 
 could not and after putting a lot of towels over it to keep 
 it from spurting, rang for the night clerk. No response. 
 I rang again, and after waiting, put on a gown and started 
 down stairs to find him. I met him on the stairs and be- 
 fore I could tell the idiot what was wrong, he told me in 
 his own English that it was no use to ring, that it was too 
 early. I got him up however and when I showed him 
 what was the matter, he said he could not do it as it would 
 require a special man. I finally convinced him that I was 
 not a special man and got him awake to the fact that he 
 must move if he did not want the hotel to become a new 
 canal. He got it fixed after a time, and then came to 
 talk to me. I slammed the door in his face and would 
 not talk to him. I told the proprietor I would have a law 
 suit with him over the affair, but we finally calmed down 
 after breakfast as I was anxious to get off. Our gondo- 
 liers glided up to the landing at the hotel. The help 
 were all up early as it was, as they knew it was pay-day, 
 so after settling with everybody in sight, we shoved off, 
 and in course of about an hour arrived at the depot and 
 after settling with the pirates and paying the fellows that 
 carry your traps into the train, got comfortably seated. 
 
 We had met at Venice two of our ship passengers, or 
 rather travelled to Venice together and were in the same 
 carriage leaving. We were in the same compartment. 
 The train had started. A boy on the platform 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 41 
 
 was selling the N. Y. "Herald." I stepped to the window 
 to get a paper and when I looked around I found a gentle- 
 man from the water front of Italy in my seat. J spoke 
 to him in English, explaining that was my seat. He re- 
 plied in sign language and Italian that I had not left my 
 cap in the seat. I pointed to my hand-baggage above the 
 seat, but he did not move. I tried ,to tell him that I must 
 have that seat and he could have one alongside of me, but 
 he sat still. I could see no way of getting my seat by 
 talking so I grabbed him bodily and put him out into the 
 corridor and sat down in the seat. 
 
 In an instant I had all Italy around. He explained 
 it all to the crowd and such a jabbering as ensued would 
 li'iid one to believe that black hand and the Mafia were in 
 joint convention. One of the delegation tried to speak 
 Knulish to me, but I could not make it out. They crowd- 
 ed the door and argued among themselves what mode of 
 death I should be put to. The ticket man came along. 
 He heard their story I suppose, got my ticket ,said some 
 words to them and passed on. Then they got the man 
 who is chief of the train. He examined my ticket, then 
 came back MTK] demanded my passport. I got it out. The 
 conductor and the bunch crowded around and I could 
 make out from their talk that my name was Jocum and 1 
 was Washington. I got my papers back, but at the first 
 stop the gentleman called one of the soldiers and brought 
 him in, explained, I suppose, and wanted me arrested. 
 The soldier listened, shook his head and got off; the crowd 
 still stood in the passage-way, and I suppose quoted inter- 
 national law, but at the next station got off, not however 
 before t^ing to get my name and address, which I would 
 not give. I expected to be arrested at Milan, but arived 
 at the hotel safely and the incident was closed. 
 
 Had lunch at the Grand Hotel de Milan, got a carriage 
 and as we were starting off for an informal look at the 
 place (our usual custom) a gentleman with a Cockney ac- 
 cent stepped up and announced himself as the "hofficial 
 iruide, hand hinterpreter hof the otel." He was engaged 
 at once and turned our informal drive into one of in- 
 spection. This Italian learned his English from a 
 Cockney and was very amusing. 
 
 Basilica of St, Ambrogio. 
 
 We first went to the Basilica of St. Ambrogio, the pa- 
 
42 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 tron saint of Milan. I find no town in a Latin country 
 can get along without a patron saint, even if they have to 
 steal one, as did the people of Venice. Well Ambrogio 
 was built in the 4th century on the site of a Pagan temple 
 and many of the symbols of paganism are to be found in 
 the walls and a stone altar, where the vestal vergins 
 kept up a perpetual light, is in a good state of preser- 
 vation. The object most worthy of note in the Basilica is 
 the original painting of the last supper, painted on the 
 wall by Leonardo de Vinci in 1499, some of his followers 
 in his school of painting have painted copies on adjoin- 
 ing walls to illustrate the detail of the picture that time 
 has to some extent obliterated. It is said that all last 
 suppers are copied from this work, no matter who the 
 painter may be. 
 
 Royal Scala Theatre. 
 
 We visited part of the old walls of the city much like 
 others of similar towns. Then to the Royal Scala The- 
 atre, the largest in Milan and perhaps the most celebrat- 
 ed in the world. It has a seating capacity of 3600, a 
 wonderful echo in the audience part, but cannot be heard 
 on the stage. It has 200 boxes and a fine dressing room 
 for each box ; in fact the place looks to be, and indeed is, 
 all boxes except the ground floor. A person having once 
 appeaded on this stage in a principal role has an assured 
 future in opera. The stage is immense and slopes from 
 rear to front, and is large enough to put any ordinary 
 theatre on and then have room for the actors. We 
 visited all parts of the house, the scene painters were 
 busy getting ready for the coming season. I had a drink 
 of their foot juice with them. In the vestibule are sta- 
 tues of ancient and modern masters in music. 
 
 Cathedral of Milan or Church of the Nail. 
 
 Next to the greatest sight in this city is the Cathedral 
 of Milan. It is by far the most wonderful of any I have 
 seen yet, as far as character and beauty is concerned. 
 It was commenced in 1396 and was intended to be pure 
 Gothic, but so many different architects had to do with 
 it from its beginning till its completion, and so much 
 time elapsed when war and other troubles caused a 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 43 
 
 cessation of the work altogether, that to some extent the 
 first idea was not carried out. Nevertheless it is a 
 wonder. On the outside there are over 4200 statues all 
 carved out of white marble of which the entire building 
 is constructed. The interior is supported on 52 large 
 pillars or columns of marble, and when viewed from one 
 particular point, nothing but columns greet the eye, and 
 yet when between the rows of columns there is immense 
 space. 
 
 It is known as the Church of the Nail because of 
 its claim to have one of the original nails from the cross; 
 it is in a casket away upon the roof above the altar, and 
 is brought down every year for exhibition and venera- 
 tion. The objects most admired and prized by this 
 church are the marble statues of St. Bartholemew being 
 flayed alive and carrying his own skin on his shoulders. 
 The bronze chandelier in the form of a tree with its seven 
 branches or places for candles all in line yet each one can 
 be turned out at angles. The mosaics and stained windows 
 representing scenes from the old and new testament. In 
 the crypt lie the remains of St. Ambrose and other dis- 
 tinguished Christians. To get a close "look at the 
 saint you must pay five francs. I had no desire to go 
 below at the price so I cannot truthfully say if the re- 
 mains are the sure enough saints or not. There are 500 
 steps leading to the tower which you can climb for 50 
 centimes but this was my busy day on the level so I did 
 not climb. I am sure the view would repay anyone with 
 a burning desire for exercise, but I am possessed of that 
 tired feeling between meals that forbids such violent 
 effort. The guide assured me it would repay me. I 
 added another franc to his salary and took his word for 
 it. I have not seen the ends of the earth so will say noth- 
 ing rash, but I will say to the Cathedral of Milan, stay 
 right there, you'll do every day in the week and twice on 
 Sunday. 
 
 Right across from the Cathedral is the Palace of the 
 King, a fine place also, parts of it are open for inspection 
 but on learning that the King was not at home we omitt- 
 ed calling. 
 
 Many large buildings of a public character are in evi- 
 dence, we visited some but as they are to be found in 
 
41 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 most other places I omit them. 
 
 One feature of Milan is the number of automobiles to 
 be found, you would almost fall over them they are so 
 plentiful, still it is better not to. We hired one in the 
 evening, they charge lay taximetre, you go so far and the 
 machines tells you, it is the cheapest motoring I ever did. 
 I understand the Motor Club at Milan does more for 
 motoring and good roads than any other institution in 
 Italy. 
 
 So much for the individual buildings and things; now 
 few words about Milan itself. 
 
 It is the capital of Lombardo, with a present population 
 of about 550,000; it seems to have had great ups and 
 downs. It was very prosperous under the Romans, hav- 
 ing a population of 300,000. In the llth century and 
 then in the 12th century it was knocked galley west, 
 only a few churches and buildings of that character re- 
 maining standing, its statues and monuments being even 
 carried away or broken down. Milan at the present 
 time is prosperous, quite a place for sculpture, silk etc., 
 clean a"hd well worth the time spent in viewing the many 
 works of nature and art she has to attract attention. 
 
 In leaving Milan we said goodbye to Italy, and per- 
 haps we might (lest we forget) say that I think Italy has 
 a wonderful past, a great number of relics to be admired 
 and venerated; she has a present, largely consisting 
 of grand opera singers, scenery fakers and beggars. 
 I have heard for truth that America manufactured 
 pretty near all the old images and furniture sold in 
 Italy, but surely no one would accuse them of manufact- 
 uring the cripples and beggars. All beggars are not 
 cripples but all cripples are beggars in Italy. A large 
 part of the population are very nice gentlemen, but this 
 is the season of the year when they travel abroad. 
 
 GENEVA 
 
 Saturday, 10th. Left Milan at 7 :10 a. m. spent a num- 
 ber of hours travelling through beautiful and rugged 
 mountains, quaint villages, isolated communities and 
 solitary abodes, over ravines and passes, through tunnels 
 and gorges, one surprise after another of scenery, the 
 work of nature and man combined, including the Simp- 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 45 
 
 Ion pass. We arrived at Geneva, the home of the watch, 
 a pretty town on the lake. It has a present population 
 of about 110,000. It seems it was conquered by the 
 Romans 122 B. C. and was the possession of France and 
 other countries. Independent at times, and when not 
 busy abroad certain families took a whack at each other. 
 
 In 1335 Geneva adopted the reformation on the sug- 
 gestion or preaching of one Farel, and the bishop who 
 owned the town at that time was chased away and its in- 
 dependence proclaimed. In 1536 Calvin arrived and 
 stirred things up, or rather toned things down, and a 
 strict moral life was necessary to get along, and it ap- 
 pears that a Spaniard named Michel Servet was burned 
 ;it the stake in 1555 for writings questioning the Divinity 
 of Christ. Geneva at the present time is about equally 
 divided between Protestants and Catholics, but it seems 
 the Protestant Church gets aid from the Canton, or State. 
 
 Geneva is celebrated for its watchmaking and optical 
 goods, its musical boxes of all kinds and its fine view of 
 Mont Blanc. The river Rhone furnishes water power for 
 nearly all industries around. The streets are good and 
 well paved with wooden block or stone, (generally 
 stone) in oblong slabs. 
 
 I visited one of the oldest watch factories in the town 
 an'l was taken all through. It was interesting but it 
 looked more like a private concern than an important 
 factory. This firm has been here in this building since 
 the 18th century. 
 
 Geneva has its Museum, its houses of historic fame, 
 among them being No. 11 Rue Calvin where this reformer 
 is said to have died. It is a Canton of the republic of 
 Switzerland ; it makes its own laws, etc. You are not 
 bothered by beggars nor importuned by fakirs to buy 
 something you don't want. Take it altogether Geneva 
 leaves a very pleasant taste in the mouth, after so much 
 garlic. 
 
 LUCERNE. 
 
 Aug. 13th. Left Geneva and travelled through pretty 
 picturesque Switzerland from 9 :30 till about three in the 
 afternoon when we arrived in the heart of that mountain- 
 ous country. 
 
 Lucerne is the most pleasantly situated of any place we 
 
46 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 have visited yet. At the end of the St. Gothard Tunnel 
 and on the banks of the Reuss River surrounded on all 
 sides by the Alps, a prettier spot could not be described. 
 When we arrived it was the height of the season ; we drove 
 to the National Hotel but found that we could not get ac- 
 commodated, we then drove to the Hotel D 'Europe and 
 after waiting a few minutes, we got a room. We ordered 
 a carriage for our preliminary survey of the town, and 
 visited the celebrated lion of Lucerne. This monument 
 is the masterpiece of Thorwalden, the sculpturing was 
 done by Abhorn; it is cut out of a rock 60 feet high 
 straight up, a recess was cut out of this face and in the 
 lower part was cut in bold relief the wounded lion still 
 watching and guarding, it was sculptured in 1821 to com- 
 memorate the slaying of the Swiss Guard that used to be 
 maintained by the French Kings at Lucerne and who 
 w r ere slain by the Jacobins in 1792 upon the approach 
 of the Austrian Prussian army to support the King. 
 Under the lion is a small sheet of water and at night 
 when the face of the cliff is lit up by electric light the 
 reflection of the cliff and the lion is very attractive. 
 
 The lion of Lucerne is on everything in wood and 
 silver; wood carving is the great thing here. This is the 
 home of the little cuckoo clocks and all other things of 
 that character. This also is the home of William Tell and 
 the place where he escaped from the boat in which Gessler 
 was conveying him to prison. The monument erected on 
 the place is called Tellsplatte, and a chapel containing 
 pictures and paintings of Tell are here preserved. A pro- 
 cession goes to this place every year composed of the coun- 
 try people who go as a matter of solemn duty to the mem- 
 ory of that distinnguished advocate of liberty. 
 
 A glacier garden close to the lion is quite a curio. It 
 stands on the site of a former glacier and it has large cal- 
 drons or holes in the solid rock in which the large boulders 
 that made them are lying in the bottom. 
 
 The theory of the glacier garden is that these boulders 
 falling from greater heights on the glacier gradually 
 worked their way through the ice water following until 
 they reached the bed rock on which the glacier rested. 
 The water following and churning around. Anyhow there 
 they are. A great many other things are in this garden, a 
 bas relief map of Switzerland, showing its mountains, and 
 
* AND HOW IT DID ME 47 
 
 valleys and depicting some of its battles, and close to a 
 panorama of merit said to be the masterpiece of M. Castres 
 of Genova, an artist noted for his painting of battle scenes, 
 showing the retreat of General Bourbahis army into 
 Switzerland in 1871. 
 
 Then there is the Lucerne lake or, as it is sometimes 
 called, the lake of the four Cantons, a beautiful sheet of 
 water at the foot of all the large mountains some 23 miles 
 long and irregular, but the scenery on its shores is cer- 
 tainly grand. The town itself is well built, has one or two 
 large streets, some fine blocks running at right angles 
 with the main thoroughfares, and many quaint old and 
 narrow streets which give it a different appearance from 
 any town I have ever seen, some of the little old beer 
 houses put one in mind of the old inns of England, 
 though different. It has, or claims, a population of 31,000. 
 Its authentic history begins when in 735 a saint of the 
 name of Swdegar founded a convent and from that 
 time it was on the map. It seems to have had its 
 little troubles, and consequent ups and downs till 1332 
 when it joined the Confederacy and became a Canton 
 of the Swiss Republic. So much for its history. 
 
 Mount Pilatus. 
 
 The following morning after our arrival we started out 
 on a trip to the top of Mount Pilatus and a more enjoyable 
 one I never took. There are two ways of starting, we 
 went by the lake to Alpnachstad, whence we took the train, 
 consisting of a car and an engine. The engine goes be- 
 hind the car and pushes it up, and ahead of it coming 
 down. The grade runs from 19-64 with an average of 
 38^. The length is 5040 yards with an ascent of 5528 
 feet. It takes one hour and 25 minutes to accomplish 
 the trip, but it is 85 minutes of life, for the scene changes 
 every one of the minutes many times, over chasms through 
 tunnels, along cuts in the mountain side, winding around, 
 exposing a valley below here and a lake the next minute 
 there, until you get up so high that the snow-clad moun- 
 tains you were admiring from Lucerne are now an uneven 
 low land, but looking all the more beautiful because of 
 the more extended view of their surface. 
 
 Promptly at the time announced in the time table you 
 
43 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 come to a full stop at the end of this very scenic road. A 
 walk of a few minutes brings you to the Pilatus Kulm or 
 hotel where a good meal is served and where you can re- 
 main over night having all hotel accommodations. This 
 is done for tourists who desire to remain for sunset and 
 sunrise. 
 
 After lunch we went out and took in the different points 
 of view ; our glasses in this case came in very handy. The 
 clouds would for a minute obscure some panorama away 
 down in the valley or across on the mountain, and then 
 float away leaving it clear and bright, and each point of 
 view seemed prettier than the last. 
 
 We remained a few hours, and the announcement that 
 it was time to go brought us again to earth, or at least 
 informed us that we must again get down on the level 
 with other people. 
 
 The trip down was an encore of the trip upward, and 
 sometimes the encore is better than the original song that 
 inspired the encore. At any rate we got down from our 
 high horse in the same time that it took to mount it, 
 caught the boat and arrived home safe at the hotel well 
 pleased, but so tired that we had our dinner sent to the 
 room rather than dress and go down stairs. 
 
 BALE. 
 
 Friday, Aug. 16th. Arrived in Bale, a town in Switzer- 
 land, close to the border of Germany, France and Italy, 8 
 hours from Paris, 15 from London, 14% Berlin, 11 Ant- 
 werp and 15 Hamburg. It has a population of 125,000 and 
 seems pretty well up to date. Our hotel was all that 
 could be desired. The Rhine is close by, so we took a car- 
 riage and drove over it by one of the old bridges and 
 back by the new one that is just finished (a splendid 
 affair) , visited the church which was being restored, 
 paying for admission and the privilege of looking up at 
 the ceiling where the workmen were employed, and the 
 chance of breaking your neck while so doing by falling 
 over a lot of litter on the floor. We made our escape, 
 blessing ourselves the while, saw and visited the usual 
 number of things sacred and profane. The sacred are 
 
Ai\ T D HOW IT DID ME 49 
 
 getting largely smaller ?nd the profane not growing 
 wonderfully less. 
 
 We spent a pleasant enough time in Bale and remember 
 it kindly. It is a great in and out town, trains coming 
 and going every minute of the day. The passengers 
 alight, take a meal at the hotel across from the station, 
 ask the waiter a few questions between courses, make 
 some notes, catch the train and the history of Bale is 
 written. 
 
 This is the last of Switzerland and in the afternoon of 
 the 17th. We found our train feeling its way through 
 tunnels and under bridges in the midst of apparent bed- 
 lam, and had I not known before I would have then found 
 out that we were pulling into the vaudeville of the 
 world the city of Paris. 
 
 PARIS. 
 
 I have breathed a few times since my arrival but they 
 came in short pants as does everything here,it is generally 
 a couple of gasps and a spasm, spit on your hands and be- 
 gin all over again, at least tha'; is the way I have been do- 
 ing Paris, no, hold on! that is the way Paris has been do- 
 in g me ! Anyhow, it is quite a burgh from the top of the 
 Eifel Tower to the subway and the sewers; it is worth 
 while to stay overnight and see things. 
 
 Paris has everything new and up to date, and is proud of 
 it. Not only that, but I find that it has a couple of yester- 
 days to look back on. 
 
 A Bit of Ancient History. 
 
 I find that 35 years B. C. under the name of Lutetia 
 Paris was of sufficient importance to attract the attention 
 of a Roman gentleman by the name of Julius Caesar, who 
 at that time was taking in all countries that happened to 
 be on the bargain counter. Paris was annexed by Julius 
 for a mere song and stayed put for a few centuries, or un- 
 til the Franks in the 4th century thought of starting up 
 for themselves and served notice on the Romans to quit, 
 which they did after the usual number had been planted 
 by the Franks, to prove to the Romans that they really 
 needed the place. 
 
 In 496 Clovis, the choice of the 12th ward, became king 
 
50 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 and at the same time embraced a new wife and Christian- 
 ity. Paris was made the capital and they kept on adding 
 a few acres here and there until it grew big enough to call 
 itself a kingdom and have trouble at home. When in 496 
 Clovis became a Christian he did not dream that on Aug. 
 24, 1572 some of his followers should shut off the breath 
 meter of 70,000 of their brother Christians because they 
 had started clearing another trail to the capital of the new 
 Jerusalem. This is now known as St. Bartholomew's Day 
 and is celebrated annually, but the killing has gradually 
 been cut out so that it is now a very tame affair. 
 
 Things moved along more or less quietly for a time, the 
 King in the meantime having established a boarding and 
 lodging house called the Bastille, where he placed any of 
 his friends whom he was afraid might be kidnapped by 
 other countries. The common people got mad at this dis- 
 crimination, and on the 14th Julyl789 tore the old thing 
 down and told the boarders to go work for a living, and 
 even got worked up to such a pitch that they took the king 
 prisoner and accused him of a lot of things, and as I un- 
 derstand it, actually caught him with the goods. They 
 kept him quiet for a while and then sawed his head off 
 and started out on a debauch known as the Reign of 
 Terror, which lasted for a couple of years, then Boneparte 
 came along and the people bought some new crowns and 
 things and started in the Emperor business, this being one 
 degree higher than a king. Things began to look up 
 again for France, as Napoleon Boneparte was a scrapper 
 and made the other nations sit up and take notice, but 
 he got the big head and swelled up something awful 
 until he got in a mix up with an Irishman by the name of 
 Wellington. The scrap was to be 20 rounds, but Blucher, 
 who it seems was referee, sided with Wellington and gave 
 him the decision in the 16th round. The other nations 
 around the ring side said they had a good run for their 
 money, and Napoleon retired to a small island presented 
 to him by the British nation, where he died, never having 
 felt the same since the scrap at Waterloo. 
 
 France was again getting on its feet so to speak when 
 Prussia began sassing back and the result was an awful 
 mix up in!871 when Paris was informed that the Prussian 
 army was outside and insisted on calling. Paris barred 
 the door and lived on odd scraps left over from the last 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 51 
 
 square meal 125 days ago. The Prussians without any 
 thought of etiquette, rudely forced their way in and prac- 
 tically told the Parisians to go away back and sit down, 
 and went out to Versailles, and in the Palace out there 
 proclaimed William I Emperor of Germany, then, after 
 telling France how much they were going to charge for 
 coming all that distance, went home. 
 
 Paris was all broke up over the way they had been 
 euchered and when the Germans left had 73 days rough 
 house among themselves, everybody taking a swat at 
 anything that looked royal, and knocking things about in 
 a most reckless way. Property was destroyed to the tune 
 of #150.000,000, and France once again became a Republic 
 since which time she is spoken of very well by the neigh- 
 bors, and at the present time Paris, with a* population of 
 three million, keeps open house to all nations of the earth. 
 
 So much to be seen and remembered one gets confused, 
 a few of the things stand out more than the others. 
 
 Place de la Concorde. 
 
 The Place de la Concorde, a square in which are some 
 line statues, and in the centre is the Obelisk of Luxor, one 
 of those Cleopatra needle affairs, it is placed on the spot 
 where the guillotine was erected in 1793 which had such a 
 busy time during the reign of terror. It was here that 
 Louis 16th and Maria Antoinette were beheaded. 
 
 Champs Elysees. 
 
 The Champs Elysees, the chief drive in Paris, is a splen- 
 did affair when taken in conjunction with the other ave- 
 nues that lead in and out of it, and is considered by com- 
 petent judges to be about as good as any in the world. 
 
 Ars de Triomph. 
 
 The Arc de Triomph, a piece of work the French are 
 justly proud of, is said to be the largest triumphal arch in 
 the world. It was begun by Napoleon I in 1805. It is 
 160 feet high, 164 feet in width, 74 feet in depth. On it 
 are depicted in sculpture scenes in the history of France 
 commemorating its victories in war and peace. 
 
52 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Tomb of Napoleon L 
 
 Tills looks like and is a kind of a church and has a fine 
 dome. It was erected in 1706. The exterior has fine col- 
 umns in Doric and Corinthian and statues of the four car- 
 dinal virtues. The height of the cross on the dome is 340 
 feet and the diameter of the dome is 86 feet. From the 
 floor of the church you look down into the open erypt 36 
 feet in diameter, and 20 feet below, where you stand in 
 the centre of the crypt. Immediately below the centre 
 of the dome, is the tomb, which is of red Finland granite 
 in three pieces, immense in size and weight, very plain 
 but grand and solemn looking. The stone was presented 
 by Emperor Nicholas of Prussia ; 12 statues representing 
 the chief victories of Napoleon are placed around, con- 
 templating the sarcophagus. Other relatives lie in the 
 building elsewhere. A persons feels the solemnity of the 
 place even after getting outside. 
 
 The Eiffel Tower. 
 
 The Eiffel Tower is another of the monuments of Paris 
 not to be overlooked. It was built as a feature of the Paris 
 Exposition and allowed to remain. It is 984 feet high 
 and has been written about and described so often that I 
 will let it go at that. Its principle use is meteorological, 
 
 Notre Dame. 
 
 I examined the exterior of Notre Dame and called it 
 square as I had enough of churches in Italy. The outside 
 of this church is very fine indeed. Statues of Kings and 
 others are on the outside, so I remained with them. It 
 occupies the site on which stood former churches and the 
 site of the church which Clovis started when he became 
 King and a Christian in the 4th century. It has been 
 restored and rebuilt a number of times. The last and 
 best restoration was begun in 1845 and as it stands 
 today it is said to be about the best specimen of decorated 
 Gothic work in the world. 
 
 Width western front 128 feet, height of two front 
 towers 204 feet, length of Cathedral 390 feet, width of 
 transcept 144 feet, height of vaulting 182 feet. This 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 53 
 
 puts me in mind that Victor Hugo describes it in Notre 
 Dame de Paris, and I spent quite a time going through the 
 home of that celebrated author viewing the work of his 
 hand. When he was in exile and at home he made tables 
 and pictures equally well ; pretty nearly ail the furniture 
 he used was made by his own hand. 
 
 The Place de la Bastille. 
 
 Where once stood the old fortress or prison, was built in 
 1369 by Charles V. It was formerly used as a castle for 
 the defense of Paris, but afterwards a kind of a King's 
 prison, where the man with the iron mask was kept with 
 many other celebrated prisoners. It was destroyed July 
 14th 1789 and in the centre of the place now stands a tall 
 shaft to mark the spot. It is 154 feet high. It has the 
 names of 615 people who fell July 27th, 28th, 29th 1830, 
 and whose bones are buried underneath the column. 
 
 The Louvre is too big a job to tackle. I will let it go 
 by saying it would be impossible for me to do it justice, 
 suffice to say anyone wanting to see the best in art, old 
 and new, can see it there, and spend days seeing it. I had 
 not the time and am not a judge of painting, but could 
 spend a long time viewing the sculptures and products of 
 long ago, but must hurry along now to Versailles. 
 
 VERSAILLES. 
 
 We had decided to leave Paris on the morrow, but 
 while we were discussing our lunch, and other things, 
 we were reminded that to leave Paris and not see 
 Versailles would be about equal to going to the theatre 
 and not seeing the actors or the play; so I engaged 
 an automobile, and, after lunch, we started, with our 
 Paris guide, and as he informed us, one of six that knew 
 Versailles. 
 
 The chauffeur knew the way, and the guide certainly 
 knew his piece when he got there, we arrived after 
 a very swift run through a fairly respectable looking 
 country. 
 
 The followig is something of what I heard and saw 
 about this, the former seat of Royalty. 
 
 In 1624 Louis XIII began by building a hunting box, 
 
54 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 but built in regal style; then Louis XIV got busy and 
 devoted himself to the building of a magnificent place, 
 which was to be the seat of government. This was 
 accomplished in 1682, when the court moved to Ver- 
 sailles. His room is shown where he received his au- 
 diences and where he died, after reigning 72 years. 
 Louis XVI intended to build upon a new place, and 
 started, but run short of funds. 
 
 We were shown the room where the royal family met on 
 the morn of October 6, 1789, when the mob were trying 
 to break in and get Marie Antoinette and the King the 
 Little Trianon a retreat in the gardens, where she used 
 to play at being a dairy maid and make butter instead 
 of playing Queen. ' This caused the French people to 
 sour on her, and I suppose the Paris shopkeepers were 
 losing money by having the Court out there in the cold. 
 
 Napoleon's rooms are shown, and his furniture, plans, 
 instruments, pictures, and maps, the royal carriages from 
 the time of the first empire; the royal stables are now a 
 baracks; the royal apartments, reception rooms, throne 
 rooms, etc., all now a world-renowned art gallery. 
 
 The following rooms were pointed out on account of 
 the important events with which they were associated: 
 where Louis XIV died 1715. Louis XV died 1775. 
 Palace turned into a manufactory of arms in 1795, 
 occupied by Napoleon, and after his fall was occupied 
 by Louis XVIII, Charles X and Louis-Philippi. In 1871 
 the Palace was occupied by the Germans, and on the 
 18th of January, in the throne room, King William of 
 Prussia was proclaimed Emperor of German.y. 
 
 The place is magnificent in extent and contains many 
 of the world's great paintings, etc., but it was impossible 
 to see it all, so we started back for Paris. Our guide 
 and chauffeur consulted and determined to take us back 
 by another route. They did, but got lost, neither of them 
 knowing where we were. We bumped over eight 
 miles of the worst road I ever bumped into. I told 
 them to consult a policeman. We floundered around, 
 and in the evening saw the lights of Paris, and eventually 
 pulled up at the hotel. - 
 
 The taximeter showed that we had run all sorts of 
 miles. We came very near having another French 
 revolution, but diplomatic language and the head porter 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 53 
 
 brought about an understanding. I paid the indemnity, 
 less the number of miles spent in unknown territory. 
 
 Then my guide, after I had paid him and given him 
 an unbiased opinion of a guide who lost his party and 
 himself in a twenty mile run, wanted to compromise by 
 devoting the evening to me and show me around. I 
 demurred, as the streets were more complicated than the 
 country. He certainly was no hayseed in the city but 
 \vns small potatoes in the country. I couldn't give him 
 any pointers, so called it square with a tip, and sent 
 him home happy. 
 
 Xcxt day we took a train for Dieppe and sailed for 
 NV\v Haven. We wanted the shortest rail travel and the 
 longest sea route. The trip across the Channel was 
 rough, but we enjoyed it, and in about five hours we 
 \vere again in the hands of the custom officers, but they 
 were very nice, and we were soon on the train on our 
 v, ay to London. Before we started, however, our hand 
 1 Km gage having been put in a compartment, the guard 
 told me we could get a cup of tea and he would try and 
 kr<'p the whole compartment for us. We had it, and 
 he did. 
 
 After we were in and seated he locked the door and 
 went off. Some one tried to get in, but the guard was 
 !>; sy in another place and I suppose found our would-be 
 companion a seat. I saw the guard later on and he told 
 nn 4 how pleased he was that he did us the favor. A 
 u'-md train and quick run soon landed us in the metro- 
 polis of the world. A carriage not by the hour but 
 hy the job delivered us in the court of the Hotel Cecil, 
 ma our first night in London. 
 
 JERSEY. 
 
 August 29th. Took train at Paddington station for 
 Wi'vinoutli, where the boat was waiting. The train 
 did not run aboard but did the next best by running 
 alongside ; got on board with our friends from Wigan who 
 took the trip with us. A few toots of the whistle and we 
 were off. People began to make themselves comfortable 
 for a pleasant sea sickness, some were disappointed but on 
 the average most of them realized their expectations. 
 
56 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Our party did not expect much, so escaped with a clean 
 bill of health. 
 
 Guernsey. 
 
 Our first landing was made at Guernsey, one of the 
 Channel Islands, where grapes in profusion were offered 
 for sale in small baskets at 6d. each, we bought some and 
 found them very good though mostly raised under cover. 
 I don't know what the rule is here about the boat, whether 
 they remain until all the grapes are sold, or are governed 
 by the freight, as both events came to an end about the 
 same time. Anyhow we were off again after waving good- 
 bye to the complete population that had assembled on the 
 pier, their daily habit in playing tag with the outer world 
 and the only real dissipation indulged in by the thrifty 
 grape growers of the little island. A couple of hours, run 
 brought us to Jersey through a very rocky entrance ; took 
 a carriage and were soon deposited at the Royal Hotel, 
 which we found to be very comfortable. 
 
 After spending a few days in carriages and automobiles 
 this is the result of our visit. A gentleman who spent con- 
 siderable time and thought on the island tells us about its 
 history. He says about 1200 B. C. the islands were as yet 
 hitched on to the main land and had not decided to set up 
 in business for themselves, even in the time of the Romans, 
 although then at high tide walking to Jersey required a 
 large amount of faith. 
 
 In 709 A. D. it appears that a tidal wave came along and 
 smashed things, submerging forests, buildings and people, 
 making Jersey an island and forming St. Aubins Bay. In 
 this, at least, it was kind as it is a very pretty affair. The 
 last connection between the islands and any main land 
 took place in 1203 since which the Channel Islands started 
 to attract attention by growing cabbages ten feet high. 
 This is literally true. Nature must have intended breed- 
 ing giraffes to feed on the cabbages, but nature slipped a 
 cog somewhere, and now all that the cabbages are grown 
 for is making walking sticks out of the stalks. They are 
 not things of beauty, but you must not say so aloud on 
 the island. 
 
 It appears also that old Druid Colleges and Convents 
 for the Druidesses have been found in Jersey of a very re- 
 
AIMD HOW IT DID ME 57 
 
 mote period. At least 50 of these monuments have been 
 discovered, and evidence of a very early and large popula- 
 tion. The name of the island was Cesaraea by the Ro- 
 mans, an.d the present name a corruption of that word. 
 It further appears by this witness that Julius Ceasar one 
 morning looked across the water and seeing land ordered 
 out his boat and twelve men, and rowed over and took 
 possession and not knowing much about the value of cab- 
 bages, divided the thing among his merry men, after 
 which they rowed back and had breakfast. 
 
 If England ever finds out a little of Jersey history it will 
 become necessary as a matter of honour to send a fleet 
 over there and get them to surrender, as it appears the 
 Jersey men helped to conquer England and never was 
 conquered itself. When William, in 1066. conquered 
 England. Jersey was a part of the Duchy of Normandy, 
 ar.nl as such sent its warriors along. The net result today 
 is that Jersey is not a Crown Colony but an appendage of 
 the Crown, loyal to a fault and for many centuries duly 
 appreciated by the British Crown for this quality. 
 
 The one great man produced by Jersey was Robert 
 Wace, he was born in the beginning of the 12th century 
 and died in England in the year 1180. . He was the 
 inventor of jingles, sometimes called poetry, but in these 
 lays known as Limtricks. All his writings had the last 
 line omitted and the tallest cabbage stalk in the Jersey 
 orchard was given to the one who supplied the best miss- 
 ing line, if he was known to the poet's family. 
 
 It was during this period that most of the old churches 
 that are to be found in Jersey were started, they run as 
 follows in Parishes: St. Brelades 1111, St.Ouen 1130, St. 
 Saviour 1154, Trinity 1163, St. Peter 1167, St. Clement 
 1117, St. John 1204, Grouville 1322, St. Mary 1320 and St. 
 Helier 1341. 
 
 Churches existed here before this century, the oldest one 
 I saw was the Fisherman's Chapel adjoining, and practi- 
 cally a part of St. Brelade. I presume the reason for so 
 many churches starting about this time was the crusades, 
 and when Richard I was taking such an interest in 
 reducing the infidel population. 
 
 I will cut on old history and get down to the earth on 
 this Island as I found it. First comes Mount Orgeuil Cas- 
 tle. 
 
58 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Mount Orgeuil Castle. 
 
 This castle is so old that it is half believed that the castle 
 was built first and the island created after, with the cor- 
 rect sized hill placed close to the water to fit its require- 
 ments. Anyhow we find it fighting the French in 1340, 
 being condemned by a commission in 1593 on account of 
 Its age, being repaired and added to in 1470-1486. It has 
 a crypt in which two of its governors were buried, one in 
 1506 and the other in 1533. Sir Walter Raleigh was its 
 Governor from!600-1603 he smoked tobacco and startled 
 the natives by so doing, told them of America and the 
 potato. They must have caught on, for the potato is 
 now their long suite, they raise the earliest potatoes and 
 send them to London, and sell them either by the ounce 
 or pound according to the season. 
 
 The castle has a room in which it is said prisoners were 
 placed the night before they were hung and when they 
 stepped out of the door it was to see the beam with a rope 
 dangling from its centre. In those days there was no 
 drop, so they just strung him up. The beam or part of it 
 Is still to be seen. 
 
 An old well is located in a dark room ; it is walled round 
 for 57 feet, and no one, it Is said, ever touched the bottom 
 with a rope. The water was cold and tasted good. The 
 usual rooms, living and sleeping, were to be seen, or the 
 place where they had been, and the secret pass by which 
 certain distinguished people made their escape when nec- 
 essary. It Is now remembered most lovingly on account 
 of the fact that Queen Victoria and Prince Albert paid It 
 a visit in 1846. It Is a fine appearing old thing and as a 
 curio fills the bill very satisfactorily. 
 
 Princess Tower. 
 
 Another building, the Princess Tower, put on some airs 
 a few centuries ago, but was shy on scandals and fights, 
 and so lost cast and at the present day is not considered in 
 the same ruined class as the castle. 
 
 Elizabeth Castle. 
 Elizabeth Castle, the old fort that used to guard the en- 
 
ANJJ HOW IT DID ME 59 
 
 trance to St, Helier, the town of the island, is now out of 
 commission, the fine modern Fort Regent commanding the 
 entrance in a very effective manner. 
 
 St. Helier. 
 
 St. Helier has a population of about 32,000, including 
 remittance men and retired army officers; it is the seaport 
 town and the principal place of business of the islands. 
 The English language is official but French is taught a cer- 
 tain time each day in the schools, but in the country 
 places many old people could hardly tell you anything in 
 Kii'_rlish beyond the pedigree and price of a cow, and when 
 they expect the next crop of potatoes. 
 
 The streets are not very wide but the shops and stores 
 are pretty good, some are very old and adorned with the 
 Jersey coat of arms, (three lions on a shield), they are 
 ilershouncl lions with very long bodies and very short legs. 
 caused, I suppose, on account of having to hunt their holes 
 so often when war threatened. 
 
 The country surrounding is very pretty and comfort- 
 ably hilly with a wonderful growth of foliage, in fact 
 everything seems to grow in profusion here except the 
 above mentioned coat of arms and its three lions. Many 
 very pretty bays are around the island, where bathing 
 and lobsters can be indulged in, or the lobster can be 
 indulged in bathing if he pays the price, but Bouley Bay 
 is the home of the lobster where it is served up so nicely 
 and plentifully that I pretty nearly turned turtle the 
 following day after eating them, but as I look back on the 
 experience I believe I would eat them again and take the 
 chances on the after effect. 
 
 This is the following day and it is cut out of the history 
 of Jersey. I would have to write personal history and I 
 don't like to read over my own sufferings. 
 
 After getting properly in shape we started out for our 
 finish of Jersey in two autos. 
 
 We had splendid weather, visited all that was left of 
 the island, the old church of St. Brelade being about the 
 most interesting of this day with the old seaman's chapel 
 said to have been built in the year 800. The sexton that 
 showed us around has been in continual service since the 
 laying of the corner stone, at least he looks and talks that 
 
CO HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 way; his long suite is the pictures on the ceiling of the 
 chapel; he gets you seated and excuses himself while he 
 sets the sun. Joshua could get cards and spades from this 
 old fellow about commanding the sun. He steps outside 
 places a looking glass in such position that the sun strik- 
 ing its surface throws the reflection in through the door of 
 the chapel, then with another glass in his hand ( I mean 
 looking glass) he throws a few sunbeams on the ceiling, 
 calls your undivided attention to what may have been 
 some very crude old paintings. He is free to admit that 
 they are not in perfect condition, but his sanctimonious 
 face and voice almost make you believe you can see Christ 
 entering Jerusalem on the back of an ass because he gets 
 the sunbeam to drag out before your astonished gaze the 
 two ears of the aforesaid beast of burden. I got so en- 
 thused after being moved from one side of the chapel to 
 the other and back again, and listening to his prophetic 
 voice, that when he told us about the fall of man depicted 
 in one of the paintings, I actually thought I saw snakes. 
 I felt alright, however, when he told us that the pictures 
 were to be imagined largely as they were not there, 
 having been destroyed by time and things. 
 
 After buying whatever postal cards he offered, we 
 hurriedly left the graveyard and its ressurected old 
 keeper, and hastened along to more pleasant if not more 
 modern scenes. 
 
 We lunched close to the old place in a pleasantly 
 situated hotel, the St. Brelade, they served speghetti soup 
 but I could not tackle it till I had a drink as that fall of 
 man business and the snake made me see them in the 
 soup. I felt all right presently, however, and even the 
 asses ears in the entrance to Jerusalem faded away and I 
 began seeing natural. Poor old man, fine old church, 
 credulous me a wonderful trinity. 
 
 On our return trip to the city we passed a parish school, 
 St. Mary or St. Peter, I don't remember which, and I am 
 sure they don't care, anyhow one of our friends wanted to 
 call and see a teacher, so we alighted. It was recess. We 
 all went in and were introduced to the teachers, a very 
 nice lot of inspirers to higher and nobler purposes. The 
 Parson was present, whether as spiritual adviser or intel- 
 lectual developer, I don't know which. Anyhow none had 
 ever been in a motor car and when it was suggested that a 
 
AND ROW IT DID ME 61 
 
 rim around be had, just for the name of the thing, the 
 good parson and teachers piled into the no I mean 
 gingerly boarded the machine, and when all were seated, 
 the parson having a "Now I lay me" expression on his 
 face, and the teachers a "So mote it be" look in their 
 eyes, they started off, the chauffeur having previously 
 been instructed to give the parson and brain developers 
 a run for their mone3 r . About four blocks forming a 
 square was where they were initiated into the mysteries 
 of "going some" and when the machine came to a stand 
 still with all on board safe, I almost thought I heard the 
 doxology. 
 
 The fever spread and we piled the youngsters in as 
 many as could sit or stand and sent them the same run till 
 v/e had all the school runnning like a lot of Comanchi In- 
 dians. As we moved off the children cheered in English 
 and French till we were out of hearing. 
 
 We hastened along, passing many points of interest, but 
 we were in a hurry to visit the asylum and a fair being 
 held iii aid of some homeless children. We made the 
 asylum all right and went through it, found new manage- 
 ment but many of the old patients were known to our 
 party and had been there for over 20 years. 
 
 We then made our way to the fair in aid of homeless 
 'hildren, and found it well patronized. It seems a Dr. 
 Bernardo in walking along the streets one night was ac- 
 ensted by a waif and after passing it by turned back and 
 questioned the child and found it a place for the night, 
 then the following day further enquiry developed the fact 
 that the child had no home. He provided for it, and then 
 began wondering how many more like this little one were 
 around in that and other places, and he became so inter- 
 ested in this particular phase of humanity that today his 
 name and institutions stand for all that is good in the care 
 of the uncared for derelict children, no matter how they 
 came to that condition, and it is recorded that some of the 
 brightest people of the business world today are primarily 
 responsible to this gentleman for the opportunity of start- 
 ing right. Leaving the fair and the asylum we made our 
 way to the hotel, had dinner, and all hands, including our 
 Jersey friends, attended the theatre in the evening. The 
 
62 HOW I DID ETJEOPE 
 
 theatre pleased, because we had had a pleasant day and 
 good company. 
 
 The following day we started on our return trip to Lon- 
 don by way of Southampton. The weather on this trip 
 proved worse than coming and most of the passengers 
 were feeling very uncomfortable. However, we landed 
 safely and soon were on our way to London where we ar- 
 rived in due time. Went to the Cecil, and began our 
 visit proper to the British Isles. 
 
 LONDON 
 
 London is of such immensity that for me to attempt to 
 say anything about it by way of descriptions would be to 
 belittle it, so I will content myself by putting down a 
 few jottings about some of the wonders of this most won- 
 derful city. 
 
 London proper is not so large, being a little over one 
 square mile that is the London of old. The present 
 London has about 690 square miles. From 43 to 409 A. 
 D. it was not of much importance, and the Romans only 
 kept it because no one seemed to care about it. In the 
 early part of the 7th century the Christians began to 
 build churches of importance, St. Pauls being one of the 
 first that has come down to us in the town's history. 
 
 The name London, it seems, came from Llyn, a pool, 
 and din or dun, a hill or port. 
 
 Its history is like that of most other places of note. 
 It had its times of peace and times of war ; its periods of 
 progress and stagnations, off and on, till 1907, when I 
 found it getting along nicely and trying to sustain its 
 reputation as the greatest thing on earth. A few facts 
 that I learned about it might be useful for anyone who 
 contemplates building up something in opposition to 
 London Town. 
 
 The people in general were massacred by the Danes 
 in 839. The town was burned down in 892, and again 
 in 1077. The wind next took a whack at it in 1090 and 
 blew down 600 houses. Then comes along the plague 
 in 1361, and again in 1603-65. Then the great fire of 
 London in 1666. Another big wind in 1703. Then a cold 
 frost in 1739-40, when the Thames was frozen and fairs 
 held on the ice. All this and our arrival in 1907, would 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 63 
 
 have discouraged most any ordinary town, but when I 
 left it seemed determined to continue doing business at 
 the same old stand. 
 
 I have looked over the situation, more or less, and have 
 been impressed about the same way; but I think my 
 deepest and most lasting impression was made by West- 
 minister Abbey, a wonderful place containing most won- 
 derful things. 
 
 Westminister Abbey. 
 
 I don't know of any spot on earth that contains the 
 remains of so many and great in historic importance. 
 Friend and foe seem to rest quietly within a few feet of 
 each other; people who have been great in thought and 
 action, have earned their right to their little corner 
 there. But why this place above all other places, I won- 
 dered, and here is the answer I found. 
 
 Westminister Abbey is built on the site of a Roman 
 temple of Apollo. The first Christian Church was built 
 in 610, to God and St. Peter. About 1050 Edward the 
 Confessor rebuilt on the site of the original Westminister 
 Abbey, intending it to be his place of burial. It was 
 completed and dedicated in 1065, and the Confessor 
 died a few days afterward, and was buried close to the 
 altar. Prom that time the Norman Kings and English 
 people tried to outdo each other in doing honor to his 
 memory, and to be crowned in this place and to be buried 
 near his body became the proudest wish and greatest 
 honor that could be conferred on a King. 
 
 The reason why it is not a Cathedral and how it got 
 its name is that it was built as the Westminister Abbey 
 Church, or the church of the Abbey of Westminister. 
 It was intended for the Monks and an Abbot, and there- 
 fore could not be a Cathedral, as the people did not 
 worship there although I find it was a Cathedral in 
 Henry VIII time, from 1540-50, when the Monastery part 
 had been abolished. 
 
 When William the conqueror came over he based his 
 claim to the throne of England on a promise made by the 
 Confessor when he was in exile in Normandy. And when 
 he was crowned it was in Westminister Abbey, and every 
 King and Queen of England has been crowned there 
 
1 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 since, including Edward VII. 
 
 The chair in which the rulers sit when being crowned 
 in the Abbey has quite a history, and also the stone under 
 the chair, known as the Seone stone, or stone of face. 
 The legend of the stone runs that Jacob rested his head 
 on it at Beth-el; his sons carried it to Egypt, and from 
 there it passed to Spain; about 700 B. C. it appeared in 
 Ireland with the Spanish invaders, and, placed on the 
 hill of Tara, it became known as the fatal stone, or the 
 stone of destiny. 
 
 In 330 B. C. Fergus, the founder of the Scottish 
 Monarchy and also of the blood royal of Ireland, received 
 the stone in Scotland, and on it all Scotch Kings were 
 crowned. Edward I invaded Scotland in 1297, and 
 carried the stone away and placed it in Westminister 
 Abbey, and had a chair made for it, and in this chair all 
 Kings and Queens have been crowned since. 
 
 The stone is said to be Scotch sand stone, 26 inches 
 long, 16 inches wide and 11 inches thick, and is under the 
 seat of the chair. 
 
 Everything about the Abbey is impressive, the building 
 itself, its contents, and the very atmosphere. It would be 
 useless to attempt anything in detail further. We went 
 through with the guide, heard what he said, and looked 
 upon the objects spoken of. The time consumed seemed 
 long, and yet far too short. I was glad when the lecture 
 was over, yet desirous of remaining much longer. 
 
 We went to St. Pauls, but I did not go in, as I thought 
 the Abbey and its memories would suffice for one day. 
 
 The Tower of London. 
 
 The Tower of London next attracted our attention. 
 We purchased tickets, and were soon in the presence 
 of the celebrated beef-eaters, a name bestowed on the 
 guards of this particular place. Their uniform is differ- 
 ent to that of any other I have seen in the army middle 
 age uniform I suppose low shoes, knee breeches and 
 loose tunic, with a sash over the shoulders, a belt around 
 the waist, a ruffle around the neck and a low flat silk hat. 
 
 The Tower itself is old, part of it having been built 
 by the Normans, but William the Conqueror built the 
 White Tower, or keep, which gave the place its name. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 65 
 
 Then other towers were aHded in different reigns. 
 
 It was the residence of many of the Kings, and a prison 
 for some others. The Crown Jewels are in what is 
 known as the Wakefield Tower. They can be seen in a 
 large glass dome from the outside of a high railing. 
 
 We visited many of the other towers, all a part of the 
 London Tower, and saw the old armour of famous men 
 and kings, trophies taken in war, rooms where dis- 
 tinguished people were prisoners, and where some of 
 them were put to death, implements of torture in one 
 tower and the Crown Jewels in another, emblem of past 
 cruelty and present refinement. 
 
 Charing Cross. 
 
 Charing Cross, the center of London, and the site of 
 the old village of Charing, and the last place at which 
 the bearers of the body of Eleanor, Queen and wife of 
 Edward I, rested, when they returned to London. At 
 each resting place Edward caused a cross, similar to 
 Charing, to be erected. This was the last and perhaps 
 the only one at present extant. Trafalgar square is here 
 at this point, and the Nelson monument its center. 
 
 Houses of Parliament. 
 
 The Houses of Parliament at Westminister are fine 
 buildings on historic sites. One of the towers contains 
 the celebrated clock known as "Big Ben*'. The struc- 
 tures are modern and imposing in appearance and Gothic 
 in architecture. 
 
 Petticoat Lane. 
 
 We changed from the impressive and grand to the 
 lighter, if not the brighter, side of London, and took in 
 Petticoat Lane. The official name is Middlesex street, 
 but you never hear it. This place has been celebrated, 
 or notorious, or both, for many years. Here you can buy 
 clothes for almost nothing, new or second hand, on the 
 streets or in stores. You can have your pockets picked 
 and your watch stolen while you are looking at the 
 time. It is the home of the Jew trader of the cheaper 
 
CG HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 kind. It is the place to go to learn a new language of 
 London. 
 
 After we had ridden slowly through, stopping here 
 and there to watch an interesting exchange of old clothes 
 for money, or an exchange of opinions as to the character 
 of one stall keeper about the other, or the praising of the 
 -articles this or that one sold, we escaped, and, after a 
 hasty examination to find if I had been touched, and 
 .finding money in my pocket, concluded to buy a drink, 
 and to that end told the motor man to drive to Dirty 
 Dicks. 
 
 Dirty Dicks. 
 
 I alighted, and going down the basement at No. 49 
 Bishopsgate Without, found myself in that noted place 
 of cobwebs, wine and spirits. I tried a little and found it 
 all right. I became interested. The bar keepers wore 
 leather aprons, and the place back of the bar and around 
 the barrels and bottles are covered with dust and 
 cobwebs. Your glass and liquor are clean, and the 
 service polite, in fact politeness connected with dirt has 
 made the first ow^ner and the place noted. 
 
 Dirty Dick, as he became known, was a dandy in his 
 early manhood, and had inherited a fortune from his 
 father, Nathaniel Bentley, who kept the dram shop now 
 under inspection. Young Nathaniel had carriages and 
 servants, a country house, and was looked upon as among 
 the then smart set. He became engaged to a young 
 lady, and invited his intended bride and a number of 
 friends to a splendid feast at his home. The day 
 arrived, and with it came the news that the young lady 
 was dead. He shut up the room in which the feast was 
 spread and it was never opened for 40 years. He became 
 careless of his clothes, and, instead of being a dandy and 
 spendthrift, became dirty and a miser. He attended to 
 the business but let cobwebs and dirt accumulate till it 
 was talked about so much that ladies patronized the 
 place from curiosity. Politeness and excessive dirtiness 
 soon made the place a novelty. This continued for 
 nearly 50 years, and when he died the rooms upstairs 
 were found in a state of dirt and decay. For some years 
 before he died he would close up the place and go off for 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 67 
 
 months and come back at or about the anniversary of 
 his engagement feast, open the place for a few weeks, 
 close it up and go away again, he died in Musselburgh, 
 Scotland, 1809. 
 
 A new building occupies the site of the old dram shop, 
 but the cellar and a small part of the upstairs still remain. 
 It is one of the old landmarks of London, and is visited 
 and patronized by people from all over the world. 
 
 I 'm afraid I dallied too long with Dirty Dicks, and will 
 have to cut the rest of London very short. 
 
 Hampton Court 
 
 We spent most of a day at Hampton Court. This 
 place was built by Cardinal Wolsey, when he was great 
 i>;id lived like a king. He gave it to Henry VIII, who 
 lived there occasionally. Cromwell made it his residence, 
 William III did most for it and lived there. All his 
 rooms and paintings are to be seen. It was here also 
 that the conference took place, with James I presiding, 
 aiid \vhich led to the translation of the Bible. 
 
 The palace is well kept and guarded, full of valuable 
 paintings and works of art, and would require a much 
 longer time, to see it properly, than we devoted to it. 
 
 The many other places that we visited in London will 
 have to remain for the present as memories, as we are 
 due at Yorkshire and its castles and abbeys. 
 
 YORKSHIRE. 
 
 Left London by an early train, and, after a rapid run, 
 arrived in Liverpool, where we were met by our Wigan 
 friends. We looked around the town for an hour or two, 
 and, taking another train, arrived at Wigan, and the 
 Workhouse, which was to be our general headquarters 
 during our rambles through the British Isles. 
 
 I will not say anything about this place at present, 
 as our subsequent visits call for more notice. We rested 
 a day or so, and then away to Settle, in Yorkshire. A 
 run of about three hours brought us to the new station 
 of this old town. 
 
 W T e were met by a nephew of ours, whom I had not 
 for about 29 years. He certainly belongs to the 
 
68 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 rising generation. He is 6 feet, 4 inches high, and quite 
 a lot of him tured up at the ankles for feet. His hands 
 were also built on a generous plan, as was his grasp and 
 welcome. He soon had us on our way to the schoolhouse, 
 where he is head master. His wife gave us a warm wel- 
 come, and we soon were at home, or at least feeling that 
 way. 
 
 Settle is a small town of about 2000 population, and 
 only exist for the purpose of keeping down the popula- 
 tion of Giggleswick, its ancient rival on the opposite 
 bank of the river Ribble. 
 
 At the" present time Settle keeps out of prison by pre- 
 tending to have some scenery and grazing land on which 
 they feast tourists and sheep; but Giggleswick could be 
 vagged any day in the week for having "no visible 
 means of support," other than a church and a history. 
 
 There are so manw towns and villages around this part 
 of the country that a few words will have to be suffice, 
 where much should be written. 
 
 Giggieswick has a church that has been handed down 
 from the wood and wattles period of building, and before 
 the time of the Saxons. On the same site a Norman 
 church was built. This was destroyed and another built, 
 then the conquest, the present one restored many times, 
 and Giggleswick is accounted for in church history. 
 Giggleswick and Settle are rival claimants to other 
 things. Settle concedes Giggleswick the church and its 
 history, but claims the Scars and Ebbing and Flow- 
 ing Well. Neither town claims to have caused these 
 natural wonders, but each claims the title to them. 
 
 At the time of the Crusades Settle and Giggleswick 
 were not very friendly. The soil was of no account, 
 being completely covered with small stones, and the 
 population of either burgh, when not employed gathering 
 these rocks and building stone fences or hedges, were 
 throwing them across the Ribble at each other. 
 
 The Giggleswick men, being somewhat henpecked, 
 joined a gentlemen from their side of the river and went 
 away to kill the Saracen. They did not return. The 
 Settle boys had in the meantime been piling up the rocks 
 and clearing the would-be pasture lands, till they grew 
 up to be big young men, and the may-be-they-were- 
 widows waded across the Ribble. The Settle boys took 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 69 
 
 them up on the Scars and married them, came down, 
 drank at the Ebbing and Flowing 1 Well, washed the 
 Giggleswick dnst off their feet, went home with the boys, 
 and agreed that here they would Settle down. This is 
 the origin of the name, but Giggleswick claims to have 
 the laugh on them to this day. 
 
 Giggleswick. 
 
 From the Clapham road over the bridge and about 
 half a mile from Settle, the road turns to the left and 
 down a steep little hill for about one hundred yards, and 
 you find yourself in the center of Giggleswick, consisting 
 of one running street of old houses. The street is about 
 a quarter of a mile long, and the houses are all ages, from 
 1631 to say 1731. I want to be accurate, and to be so 
 I am inclined to the belief that during my visit they were 
 either building, or restoring a building, or talking about 
 doing so. A little stream called the Tames runs through 
 the outerpart of the village. 
 
 The church and the hotel are in a kind of a square of 
 irregular shape. The old Saxon Cross and the remains of 
 the Stone Stocks are here also. The hotel is run by the 
 undertaker, and during my stay a woman died some- 
 where near. It was a great event for the village. The 
 hearse had to be painted, and the village folks belonging 
 to the One Hundred attended. All events in the near 
 future will be reckoned from the funeral of old Aunt 
 Margaret. Her mother died 25 years before. 
 
 The Ebbing and Flowing Well. 
 
 The Ebbing and Flowing Well is noted, and has been 
 written about by many scientific people. It is on the 
 right-hand side of the Clapham road, and about a mile 
 from Giggleswick. It ebbs and flows every five or ten 
 minutes, and rises and falls about seven inches. At its 
 height a silver cord, or worm, darts out from one or 
 both sides, drawing back and darting out again, like a 
 small trout would, and sometimes goes clear across the 
 well from one side or starting from both sides meets in 
 the middle. It is caused by the circular action of the 
 water on its way to the well. Th worm is air confined, 
 
70 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 and coming with such force into the water that instead 
 of breaking as a bubble, it acts as above. 
 
 There are two outlets to the well, an upper and a lower. 
 The morning we went there it was on its good behavior. 
 We found some people watching it. We stepped out 
 of the carriage, and before we were there a minute the 
 well had filled, the worm appeared and went straight 
 across a short distance below the surface. The oldest 
 inhabitant being one of the observers, assured me that 
 it was the most perfect action on the part of the well he 
 had ever seen. The well is walled in by very large 
 flat stones, about three feet higher than the road level, 
 and is truly a wonder. 
 
 The Scars, as they are called, is a ' geological fault, 
 and between Settle and Long Preston, on the moors. 
 present a bit of Switzerland scenery. This last town is 
 about four miles across the hills and moors from Settle. I 
 enjoyed the walk many times, through the heather one 
 way and back by the road the other. Long Preston, as a 
 town, is not celebrated for much, still it is pretty in a 
 way. 
 
 Clapham is another town, or village, about six miles 
 from Settle, and worth visiting. It has some pretty 
 scenery, and a cave of note. The village will not become 
 a city, if the present owner lives for a few hundred years, 
 as he has refused to allow anyone to acquire land on 
 which to build a house. He owns the village ground 
 and all the houses, and thinks it big enough. 
 
 Skipton. 
 
 About this time we went to Skipton, a town of some 
 pretentions, and has a castle, old in history. The castle 
 is in a fine state of preservation. It withstood all 
 attacks till Cromwell came and he dismantled it and 
 knocked off the roof a favorite method of putting 
 castles out of commission. 
 
 It is well cared for at present, a portion of it being 
 occupied by the agent of the owner. We were conducted 
 through all the rooms and dungeons. Mary Queen of 
 Scots was one of the distinguished prisoners cared for 
 here. Her room was shown us, and in the court yard 
 grows an old yew tree over five hundred years old, under 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME II 
 
 the shade of which Mary used to sit. 
 
 From Skipton we went to Bolton Abbey, and the 
 woods, a distance of about six miles. We drove there 
 find through the woods to the Strid, a place on the river 
 Wharfe, where it is possible to step across. It is a kind 
 of a gorge, the formation of the bedrock causing the 
 water to force its way through a narrow passage. The 
 Strid is narrow but deep, and a great volumn of water 
 passes through. Many have been drowned at this point, 
 including one of the direct heirs of the British throne, 
 in the long ago. The woods are large and beautiful, the 
 trees are old and grand, and the entire surroundings, 
 including the Abbey, are as celebrated as any in England. 
 
 The Abbey proper was begun in 1154 and was endowed 
 by lands and money. This place was selected on account 
 of the drowning in the Strid of the boy of Egremond, 
 a grand nephew of King David of Scotland. The build- 
 ing was added to and repaired from time to time, and was 
 celebrated for its hospitality to the stranger and way- 
 farer. 
 
 It was dissolved in 1539, but the nave was spared and 
 "linreh service has been held continuously since the 
 foundation of the Abbey, the only place, perhaps, in 
 Knuland with such a record. 
 
 The church proper, as it stands today, is 88 feet 6 
 inches long, 47 feet 10 inches wide and 55 feet high. The 
 register dates from 1689, and the first known minister 
 was named Idson. He began his term in 1603. 
 
 The Monastery part of the building is now only a ruin, 
 l)i it the old standing walls show remnants of splendid 
 arches. Indeed one or two are in a perfect state of 
 rvation. 
 
 The grave yard between the Abbey and the river has 
 a few old stones, but not many. The river Wharfe is 
 Crossed at this spot by the "stepping stones," 57 in 
 number. They stand out of the river in the summer time 
 about eight inches, but in the winter it must be a task to 
 cross on them. A bridge, however, has been built just 
 below this point for foot passengers. When these stones 
 were first put down no one seems to know, but they 
 must be as old as the Abbey. 
 
 After spending a pleasant day in the woods arid Abbey 
 a person leaves with reluctance this place of peace and 
 
72 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 grandeur. The only jarring reminder of human cruelty 
 is the monument erected to the memory of the late Lord 
 Cavendish by the tennants of Bolton Abbey estate, on 
 which is recited the fact of his murder in Phoenix Park, 
 Dublin, May 6th 1882. 
 
 The following day we motored to Long Preston, and on 
 to' Grassington, another of the old towns in Yorkshire,, 
 and about nineteen miles from Settle. It is one of the 
 most quaint of towns, with a history all its own running 
 back into dreamland. I wandered through the back 
 alleys and into little squares, in which I found old houses 
 built in 1601, others that looked older in style but 
 without dates, and crooked streets running up hill and 
 around corners. 
 
 Grassington has a magic well, known as "Lady's 
 Well." In early days pilgrimages were made to it on 
 account of its miraculous cures, and later by love-sick 
 maidens with unrequited love. One drink of water by 
 the maiden would make the swain have a couple of thinks: 
 coming; two would make him call around, and three 
 would make him buy a ring. I felt no particular 
 emotions, so concluded that no sick maid was drinking 
 my health in the waters of the "Lady's Well." We 
 hurried back to Settle, for the morrow was to start us to 
 Chester, and then to Stratford on Avon, the home of the 
 immortal bard. 
 
 CHESTER, 
 
 Arrived in the afternoon about two o'clock; had our 
 hand baggage taken to the carriage, and was about to 
 enter, when, looking across the street, my eye lighted on 
 the Queen Hotel, the place I had selected. I tried to look 
 wise, and told the railway porter to take iny things to the 
 hotel, and a very good one it proved to be. We were 
 both eager to get around in this old place and soon had a 
 carriage, and went on our tour of inspection. 
 
 I had been looking up some data before I arrived, and 
 from that I learned that Chester is all alone, and in a 
 class by itself, as an old English town, which authentic 
 history can be traced back prior to the Christian era and 
 the Roman occupation, which took place in the early half 
 of the first century A. D. The reason for so many old 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 73 
 
 features is the very fact of the long-continued occupancy 
 by the Romans, which lasted almost four centuries. The 
 end of the first century saw walls and gates built. The 
 gates were four in number. Baths were established and 
 monuments erected, and it became one of the principle 
 Camps of Rome. 
 
 The Romans lost their grip in the fifth century, and 
 Chester was occupied by the Romo-Britans, and later by 
 the Danes. The town in the meantime going down in 
 character, both as to buildings and civilization, semi- 
 barbarism prevailing in all the immediate surrounding 
 country. 
 
 In about 907 along came relief in the form of Ethel- 
 freda, daughter of Alfred the Great. She drove out the 
 Danes, and started house cleaning. She rebuilt the walls 
 that had been battered and shot to pieces. This time 
 good walls took the place of the original one, which was 
 built of earth and turf. The city did well during her 
 life, and she was succeeded by the Saxon King, Edgar, 
 who built a number of vessels and established a naval 
 fieet close to the town, on the river Dee. He also held 
 court here. 
 
 Nothing much happened until William the Conqueror 
 came over, and, after taking stock to see if anything was 
 missing, made a present of it to one Gherbod. who hap- 
 pened to be a prisoner in Flanders, and when he couldn't 
 get bail, William gave the town to his nephew Hugh 
 Lupus. 
 
 When Henry the III went to the bat he took Chester 
 away from everybody, and gave it to his eldest son and 
 made him Earl of Chester, since which time the Earldom 
 has gone to the heir of the throne. 
 
 The Welsh people put on a lot of airs about this time 
 and came up to the city gates and threw old tin cans and 
 dead cats and things over the fence. This kept up for 
 some years. Then King Edward, after he got used to the 
 crown, for a few days in 1272, went after the Welsh and 
 "didn't do a thing to them." He stayed over night 
 many times in Chester while he was accomplishing the 
 downfall of the Welshers. 
 
 From 1643-45 it stood a siege of the Parlimentary 
 
74 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 party, and only surrendered when no one could give the 
 other even a hand out. 
 
 The city as it stands today looks somewhat, I would 
 imagine, as it looked before the last siege, with its old 
 bridge and churches, its ancient covered way and monu- 
 ments. 
 
 The Cathedral never had a beginning as a sacred site, 
 from a Chester point of view. In Roman times a 
 Temple of Apollo occupied it, and this was built on the 
 ruins of an ancient Druidical shrine. The present, or 
 first Christian church was built in the seventh century. 
 The Saxon and Norman have left evidence of their 
 interest, and the character of their architecture is pre- 
 served in many portions of the building. The fifteenth 
 century saw the greatest attempt at completion, and even 
 in that work of restoring and rebuilding what were once 
 the Capitols and Columns are now buried in the ground 
 and serving as bases. The interior has an air of cen- 
 turies ago, the fittings of old seats (each one for some 
 particular individual of note) has- a device on it. The 
 carvings on the fittings and stone arches, the ceilings, the 
 old banners of the Cheshire regiment, that fought at the 
 storming of Quebec, recall the fact that in olden times 
 the church, like the nation, had to do some fighting, and, 
 like the nation, when it couldn r t find an enemy on the 
 outside, fought within itself. 
 
 A characteristic of olden times peculiar to Chester is 
 the covered way or rows. The stores or shops in some 
 streets are so constructed that you may walk up a flight of 
 steps landing on what would be the first floor upstairs 
 and you find yourself on a sidewalk, apparently, with 
 a railing on the street side, and columns rising to support 
 the upper stories of the buildings. The upstairs sidev/alk 
 is about 10 feet wide, and some of the best stores in 
 Chester are to be found here. You can walk blocks this 
 way in the rain and not worry about the street crossings. 
 
 Some old individual houses of note are pointed out: 
 The Gods Providence House, on Watergate street, which 
 was the only house in this street that escaped the plague 
 m the seventeenth century. The owner then had en- 
 graved on the main beam of the house, "Gods Providence 
 is Mine Inheritance." 
 
 Another is Bishop Lloyds, the date 1615, and many 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 715 
 
 old carvings on the outside panels make it worthy of 
 inspection. There are eight panels, and the engravings 
 run from Adam and Eve (without even the conventional 
 fig leaf) to the Crucifiction. 
 
 In Watergate street is the old palace of the Stanleys. 
 I went all through it and saw the room in which the Earl 
 of Derby spent his last night before he was beheaded 
 at Bolton in 1657. The day before his death a messenger 
 'came to him and told him he would be expected to be 
 ready at 6 a. m. the morrow, to go to Bolton and if he 
 had any good friend who would do the kind act for him 
 he could bring him along. The Earl, asking if he meant 
 to have his friend cut his head off, the messenger replied, 
 "Yes," thinking it was a privilege to have ones head cut 
 off by a friend. But the Earl declined, saying if they 
 could not find any one to cut his head off, he would let it 
 stay w r here it was, but he was accomodated the very 
 next day. 
 
 The walls of Chester are supposed to be, and I think 
 they are, the best preserved in 'the world. A person 
 may walk for a distance of about two miles and get a 
 better view of the city than any other way. 
 
 The river Dee, upon which the Jolly Miller once lived, 
 rises and runs through Wales, and on its banks the town 
 of Chester is built. It is quite a stream, and empties into 
 the Irish sea. 
 
 Eaton Hall, the residence of the Duke of Westminister, 
 and considered one of the best in England, is on the 
 Dee, about four miles from town. 
 
 Hawarden Castle, the home of Gladstone, is close to the 
 river and six miles from Chester. 
 
 Hawarden village is a small one, but the church was 
 built in 1275. There are so many thinsrs of interest in 
 and around Chester that a month could be easily and 
 profitably spent viewing them, but I know that Stratford 
 on Avon is losing money every hour I remain, soo good- 
 bye Chester. 
 
 STRATFORD ON AVON 
 
 Left Chester at noon, and, in the course of about three 
 hours, more or less, arived at Stratford on Avon, or the 
 /birthplace of Shakesqeare. 
 
 The town, as it apears today, is a clean thrifty looking 
 
76 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 aggregation of stores, shops, hotels, memorial buildings, 
 historic houses and trades people. 
 
 The general character of the buildings run to the 
 Shakespeare residence style of architecture rather than 
 the Hathaway. Its present population is about 9000. It 
 is built on the river Avon, not a very large stream, that 
 derives its name and source from Avon Well in North- 
 amptonshire. At the time that Shakespeare was born 
 it could not have amounted to much, and its population 
 was but a few hundred. 
 
 It got its first charter in the eighth century as a Saxon 
 village ; was incorporated June 28, 1553, and about eleven 
 years later the town made a ten-strike by arranging for 
 the birth of William Shakespeare, which occoured on 
 April 23, 1564, in Henley street. No particular record 
 at present available tells of his boyhood days, but it is 
 supposed that he had -the measles and whooping cough, 
 played marbles and hookey, stole gooseberries and apples 
 attended school in the old Guild halll or grammar school, 
 where his first play was produced. 
 
 He did not confine himself to his own fireside, but made 
 goo-goo eyes at a fair maid of Shottery, named Anne 
 Hathaway, and she, being older, saw that the budding 
 genius was the real thing, closed the deal, and they were 
 married by contract in 1582, and settled down to house- 
 keeping in a part of his father's house, or his birthplace. 
 He was only about 18 years old at this time. Anne kept 
 house and William did a whole lot of thinking and writ- 
 ing, and at the end of a year, another think was coming, 
 when Susannnah was born. William seemed disturbed 
 for a few days and then made some notes in his book 
 and turned over a new leaf. 
 
 Nothing startling occoured during the next two years 
 except that it was noticed by the neighbors that William 
 was getting awfully baldheaded for so young a man, 
 and some of the oldest inhabitants thought the young 
 man was at least queer. 
 
 In 1585 twins appeared in Shakespeare's family, and 
 the wise ones said "I told you so," but William didn't 
 seem to mind. He named the twins Hammit and 
 Judith one happening to be a boy and the other a girl. 
 
 It may not have been the twins that drove him to it, 
 but shortly after this, he was arrested for poaching and 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 77 
 
 brought before Sir Thomas Lucy, at Charlecote, and was 
 by some arrangement allowed to go, whether on account 
 of the twins or not has never been discovered; anyhow 
 he left the town and went to London, where he seems to 
 have been lost sight of for a time. It seems to be agreed 
 that his wonderful genius had shown itself before this 
 time, and that neither the poaching affair nor the twins 
 drove him away; but his people being poor, his town 
 small and his family large in a small way, he was really 
 compelled to get out and dig. He is supposed to have 
 gone abroad, and this argument is used to account for 
 his knowledge of foreign customs and characters. 
 
 1591 found him in London, and prosperous. He 
 became owner of his birthplace in Stratford, after his 
 father died, and purchased what is known as the rie.v 
 place in his native town. He grew in importance and 
 popularity, and died on the 23rd of April, 1616, being 
 the anniversary of his birth and at the age of 52. 
 ' Like all great men Shakespeare began to be appre- 
 ciated when his writings and plays were collected an i 
 printed, which did not occur till some years after his 
 death, and as the years roll on, the character and genius 
 of Shakespeare is attested by the erection of memorials 
 all over the world, but especially in Stratford on Avon, 
 where he was born and where his remains now rest. 
 
 The town as far as memorials and churches, art and 
 literature, business and pleasure, is concerned is all 
 Shakespeare, and his memory the only thing that ever 
 happened. 
 
 The house where he was born passed to his sister after 
 his death, and from one to another without much regard 
 as to who lived or died under its roof. 
 
 A butcher occoupied the place, where the kitchen 
 or living room is, but the open fireplace where little 
 Willie used to sit on the hob and warm his toes in winter 
 is still preserved. 
 
 old windows remain, and on this glass surface are the 
 names of Walter Scott and Thomas Carlyle in their own 
 hand writing. 
 
 The garden back of the house is a wonder in its way, 
 in that an attempt is made to grow every tree and fruit 
 and flower mentioned in his works. 
 
 I left the place where he was born and went to the 
 
78 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 church of the Holy Trinity, where his remains are en- 
 tombed inside the altar rails. The register is open at the 
 pages that record the birth and burial. 
 
 The church is- old, the central tower was built in the 
 twelfth century, and the building completed in the 
 fifteenth century, and completely restored in 1890-92. 
 
 The memorial building contains a theatre, and is lo- 
 cated at the end of Chapel Lane. 
 
 Memorial performances are held every april; many 
 celebrated actors and actresses have appeared on these 
 occasions, and many are the pictures and works of art 
 donated to this building by artists and sculptors, rich 
 men and actors. 
 
 Anne Hathaway 's Cottage is out of the town proper, 
 at a place called Shottery. It is a common-looking 
 country-thatched affair; has been restored, and is sup- 
 posed to be occupied' by some of the descendants of her 
 family. A room is pointed out as that which was oc- 
 cupied by Anne, and her bed and an old chest and some 
 furniture, claimed to have been used by her, is shown. 
 
 The Shakespeare Hotel, "of ye five gables/' is another 
 old relic, and is the place where we put up. Each room 
 is named after a character or characters of Shakespeare ; 
 ours' happened to be "Troilus and Cressida." They may 
 have been all right in Trojan times, but their names did 
 not keep the room warm, so we had a fire built. It 
 rained against the widows of Troilus and Cressida, if we 
 were it. I told Cressida, who did'nt feel well, that I 
 would see about getting more room, and a sitting-room 
 was soon arranged for and a fire built. This room was 
 marked Richard III. I swelled up, called my wife, or 
 Cressida, to come along, for Richard was himself again. 
 Poor woman, she was not feeling well, having a bad cold, 
 but she looked at me in such a manner as though she 
 doubted that Richard was himself again, but rather that 
 he might be King Lear. As I remember, some of the 
 rooms had peculiar and some significant names: The 
 parlor was the "Merry Wives of Windsor;' 7 the bar- 
 room, "Measure for Measure;;" the dining room, "As 
 You Like It;" the porters room, "Othello the Moor of 
 Venice", and the office where you settled your bill was 
 marked "The Tempest." 
 
 We had our meals served in the sitting room, but eating 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 7i> 
 
 as Richard III, and sleeping as Troilus, bothered me so 
 much that after looking over the side shows in the shape 
 of relics, we left Shakespeare and his town, concluding 
 that "All's Well That Ends Well." 
 
 BELFAST. 
 
 Arrived on steamer from Fleetwood after a moonlight 
 night on the waters and comfortable weather. Had 
 breakfast on board. Took a carriage and went to the 
 Imperial on Donegal place. 
 
 Belfast is the largest town in Ireland, it is the commer- 
 cial centre of the country, has a population of about 400- 
 000. built on the banks of the river Lagan. A large part 
 of the town is low, most of it lying only 6 feet above sea 
 level at high tide, being largely reclaimed land. The 
 present harbour was formerly a small creek but by dredg- 
 ing and building it is now one of the best in the country. 
 
 Belfast first rubbed the mud off its feet and spruced up 
 u little after the Province of Ulster was given to De 
 Courcy. Piesently a fortress was built and that meant 
 for someone to dare to knock it down. 1316 saw Edward 
 Bruce take a shy at it and knocked it galley-west, then 
 Hugh O'Neill and a few others took it back and forth from 
 each other on legal holidays, or to celebrate a christening 
 in the family. After a number of mix ups it was forfeited 
 to the crown, and in 1612 it was handed over to Sir Arthur 
 Chichester, the then Lord Deputy, and his descendants, the 
 Donegals have it today. It seems that in 1613 it got out 
 its first papers from James I, and started business for 
 keeps, then comes along James II and takes it away and 
 gives them a charter of his own brand, with the name 
 blown in the bottle. Then King William the III comes 
 along and lands at Carrickf ergus and hurries along to Bel- 
 fast where it seems they were pleased to meet him. At 
 that time the town consisted of about 300 houses, but they 
 made a good showing and were nearly all English settlers 
 so they talked the matter over with Willie and he took 
 away James the II 's charter and gave them back their 
 old one with new Irish lace trimmings on it. They kept 
 on weaving and doing odd jobs around and cursing the 
 Pope till the year 1888 when Queen Victoria gave them the 
 rank of city, and in 1892 made their Mayor into a Lord 
 
SO HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 Mayor, since which time no Lord Mayor has cursed the 
 Pope. 
 
 The city had arrived at that satisfactory state of 
 affairs when I discovered it in 1907. Shipping and ship 
 building, spinning and weaving linen, hemstiching and 
 embroidering are their particularly recognized industries. 
 The best streets are the Royal Avenue, Donegal Place and 
 High st. You can see as good stores around those places 
 as you will find in almost any town. They have many 
 public buildings that are good, notably the City Hall, 
 finished two years ago, and a credit to the city. The 
 exterior is imposing and is located on the site of the old 
 Linen Hall at the head of Donegal Place. A statue of 
 Queen Victoria, standing, is in front of the building, and 
 sufficient ground space around the square, well kept, pre- 
 vents that crowded appearance to be met with in some 
 public buildings. The interior is finished in varigated 
 marble and stucco, large rooms for receptions, meetings 
 and balls of an official character are provided for, and the 
 former Mayors and Lord Mayors are done in oil and are 
 hung around the corridors. Many other buildings and 
 institutions attract attention and public parks are plenti- 
 ful and well kept. 
 
 Robison & Cleaver, manufacturers and retailers, have 
 quite an establishment opposite the City Hall on the cor- 
 ner of Donegal place. We went through and saw the pro- 
 cess of manufacturing, including spinning, weaving and 
 finishing. Had a motor while here and drove around, then 
 out to Newtownards, about ten miles from Belfast, where 
 the dialect is as different as two countries. The New- 
 townards people speak with a broad Scotch accent, they 
 also are a linen centre, principally handkerchiefs and em- 
 broidery. Then we drove to Grey Abbey an old ruin, 
 also destroyed by that gentleman named Cromwell during 
 his vacation in the 17th century. The old place is worth 
 a visit on account of its history, authentic and imaginary. 
 We drove still further on to another little burgh called 
 Carrowdore, the houses here look as if they had been 
 built centuries ago and the original inhabitants still in 
 possesion. Back to Belfast by way of the Cave Hill, 
 about the only place where you can see over the tops of 
 the houses unless you go far out in the country. This hill 
 rises up 1188 feet and got its name from the caves that 
 
-AND HOW IT DID ME 81 
 
 are in it. The hill looks good, it is about three miles out 
 of the city proper, and the surrounding country through 
 which we drove had the appearance of prosperity, the 
 land appearing to be good and the crops plentif ul, though 
 late. 
 
 The Giants Causeway, 
 
 While making Belfast our headquarters we also took in 
 the Giants Causeway. Took the train for Portrush, a little 
 seaport town about 8 miles from the Causeway, which is 
 reached by electric cars, claimed by the local people to 
 have been the first in the world to be operated for practi- 
 cal purposes. Opened in 1883. On your way in 
 this train you pass Dunluce Castle, an old ruin on the 
 coast about half way to the Causeway. Its history is like 
 most of its kind, stirring and romantic. It stands on a 
 rock about 100 feet above the water, and in its time must 
 have been hard to approach, as the land side was almost 
 surrounded by water. Between the Castle and the Cause- 
 way you pass a place where the conductor informed me 
 the remains of the late Brian Boru are at rest. I have 
 since found another spot where the remains of this dis- 
 tinguished gentleman are still slumbering ; but perhaps he 
 rests in one place and slumbers in the other. The Giant's 
 Punch Bowl and a Wishing Arch are passed on the last 
 stretch, and after about an hour's ride you are at the 
 Causeway, that is to say after you have walked half a mile 
 you can then walk over the rocks forming the Causeway, 
 or take a boat, or both. We took a boat, as the water was 
 calm and we wanted to see the cave which can only be seen 
 by going in the boat. We visited the cave first. To reach 
 the boat you must clamber down a rather steep path over 
 rocks, and when you reach the boat, to get aboard requires 
 care on the part of a lady, but once seated and around the 
 bend of rocks you are at the cave and repaid for the 
 trouble. 
 
 The entrance is wide enough and lofty, it is arched over 
 in something of a gothic style, and is about 30 or 40 feet 
 high, the width I should imagine to be about 20 feet at 
 the entrance. It was low tide when we went in and had 
 the advantage of seeing it in all its beauty. Iron or oxide 
 of iron is in the rocks and the water action has made the 
 
82 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 rocks at low tide a pretty red colour, and through crevices 
 in the top of the arch the same coloring is to be seen and 
 lends an added beauty to its appearance. After coming 
 out we rowed around tv> a place where we got our first 
 glimpse of the Causeway proper, and after having 
 read about it and admired the photographs of it, 
 the first sight is* disappointing. It looks altogether 
 squatty from what you had imagined, and it is only after 
 some thought and a closer inspection that the truly won- 
 derful nature of the formation begins to bring you around 
 to a thoroughly satisfied condition of mind. The Giant's 
 chimney tops., three in number, take away some of the bad 
 effect of the first impression. Then the organ and the old 
 woman climbing up hill, the amphitheatre and columns- 
 themselves all pointed out to you by the boatman gradual- 
 ly bring you back to a realization of the fact that you are 
 looking at a great work of nature. 
 
 The story told about the formation is as follows: One 
 Fin Mac Coul was the champion of Ireland, and about this 
 time there was also a champion in Scotland who was hav- 
 ing things his own way,and having heard about Fin sent 
 over word that if it were not for wetting his feet he would 
 go over and give him a licking. This got Fin's Irish up 
 and he went to the King asking for permission to build a 
 road for the Scot to come over on ; the request was grant- 
 ed and Fin built the road. The Scot came over, affairs- 
 were arranged, a referee agreed on, the winner to take the 
 entire gate receipts, there were no preliminaries in those 
 days, so they got busy. The Scot it seems feinted with his 
 left and Fin landed with his right and the Scot fainted all 
 over. The King called off the seconds and declared the 
 Scot out. Time 1-30. Fin then stepped to the Scot's corner, 
 gave him a glass of Irish whiskey, he woke up and they 
 shook hands. He acknowledged that Fin beat him fair, 
 and Fin assuring the press reporters that the Scot was the 
 hardest man he ever met, the Scot married into Finn's 
 family and they both went on the road together. The 
 road to Scotland not being necessary, nature, at the re- 
 quest of Fin, destroyed it all but the Causeway where it 
 began. 
 
 In formation it is Basalt and is said to contain 40,000 
 columns averaging 20 feet high, broken in short sections 
 of a few feet. The sections are connected by concave and 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 83 
 
 convex joints, the stones are either five or six sided and 
 about 20 inches in diameter. One portion stands up 
 higher than the rest and shows columns about 30 feet high. 
 Geology explains the cause of the formation, but it is good 
 to look at and know that nature is still a pretty good me- 
 chanic when it comes to making things fit together, as the 
 columns are as perfectly formed as a mechanic could fit 
 on a small scale. 
 
 The amphitheatre is a semi-circular affair, said to be the 
 theatre of the giants, it is a good semi-circle and large, 
 about as large as the amphitheatre at Rome, more or less, 
 as I did not measure either. 
 
 The Wishing Chair is a particular stone on which you 
 sit down, close your eyes and think you're thinking. 
 Anything you wish for when you are on the rocks will 
 surely come to pass, more or less. 
 
 The Causeway has to grow on a person, which it does. 
 When you first see it you consider it a baby in arms, when 
 you leave it you think it will do, and after you think some 
 more you realize that it is truly a wonderful piece of 
 nature's handiwrk. 
 
 We arrived safely in Belfast and started to take in 
 Portadown, Lough Neagh, Gilford, Tanderagee and 
 Armagh. 
 
 Arrived in Portadown somewhere about 11 a. m., visited 
 the market; it was a fair day; had lunch at the Imperial 
 Hotel; got an Irish jaunting car, the first my wife had 
 ridden on. She wanted to be in some small place to take a 
 chance. She did not take kindly to it at first but after a 
 little became quite an expert at remaining on the seat. 
 We drove through the country to a place called Mag- 
 hery, the fishing village. We wanted to get some fish 
 but it was Saturday and all had been sent to town. The 
 fish is called Pollen, it is peculiar to Lough Neagh. This 
 is the lake about which Moore wrote on Lough Neagh 
 banks, etc. Tradition says that when the Isle of Man 
 appeared that Lough Neagh was formed, and that on fine 
 days the tops of the houses sunk in the lake can be seen, 
 however, it is the largest fresh water lough in Great 
 Britain. 
 
 We drove back and saw many pretty houses, thatched 
 and otherwise. Maghery seemed dirty but out in the 
 country proper most of the houses were pictures of neat- 
 
84 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 ness, no matter how poor. All whitewashed and invari- 
 ably a little growing plant inside one or more of the 
 windows. 
 
 Portadown has a population of about 10,000, and its 
 principle industry is spinning and weaving linen. 
 
 Next morning, Sunday, we took another Jaunting car 
 and started for Gilford about five miles distant. It 
 is an old town and has a spool thread works and spinning: 
 mill, also Gilford Castle. The drive to it is pretty, 
 principally through demesne, a contrast from yesterday's 
 drive which was all through cottage property. The town 
 itself is not much but we wanted to go there and take in 
 Tanderagee where the Duke of Manchester has his castle 
 which, we found, his father-in-law, Mr. Zimmerman, had 
 either bought or taken from him. I saw this place 
 as well as the others 30 years ago and the only change 
 worthy of mention is the change Mr. Zimmerman's money 
 has wrought in the castle. 
 
 We drove back to Portadown, as was necessary to 
 get on the road to Armagh. I particularly wanted to 
 see this place on account of its peculiar Irish history, 
 it having played a very important part in church and 
 other affairs. 
 
 We started about one o'clock in the afternoon and 
 after driving 9 Irish miles and occouping a little over 
 one hour doing it, we brought up at the Beresford Hotel 
 where we had lunch. Before we arrived, however, the 
 driver informed us that a Notionalist Meeting was to 
 be held at Armagh that day and that a great procession 
 would be seen, and great speakers speak. And sure 
 enough we were just seated at lunch in the Dining Room 
 on the second floor when the manager came to us and 
 said he would pull the table out from the window so 
 that we could see the procession pass. We were in 
 good luck, as it all passed right in front and I'm sure 
 all windows elsewhere were occupied. The procession 
 was a corker and was composed of the Hibernians, the 
 Foresters of Ireland and many others that I could not 
 understand. Banners, drums, and fife and brass bands, 
 all had a show and old King William would have turned 
 over in his grave had he known of it, and Cromwell 
 would surely have wanted to demolish another abbey 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 85 
 
 had he ever contemplated such a procession. 
 
 John Redmond and other Irish Nationalists of note 
 addressed the meeting on a hill outside the town and 
 had a good time. On the way back a few had taken 
 a teaspoon too much, but still could keep up the pro- 
 fession. 
 
 I visited St Patrick's Cathaderal and found it to be 
 a Protestant Cathedral, and the Roman Catholic, or 
 Armagh Cathedral, a new church only finished two 
 years ago. Old St Patrick's is the place I wanted to 
 see, so I got a guide from the hotel and off we started 
 but I found out he knew where the church was and that 
 was all. I could tell him more about it myself than he 
 ever heard of because I had become interested in its 
 history. 
 
 Armagh it seems is one of the oldest and most import- 
 ant of the towns of Ireland, from a Christian point of 
 view. It would appear from what I can find out that 
 300 B. C. a woman who seemed to have woman's rights 
 down to a science, and who was known as Queen Macha 
 of the Golden Hair, founded a palace and called it Ard 
 Macha, or the Hill of Macha. She was the first and 
 only queen who ruled in Ireland. Somebody on the 
 outside said something about her hair and a war ensued 
 and she fell in battle and was buried here at a place 
 now known as Navanfort, about two miles from Armagh. 
 This gave the place a good boost for the time being, but 
 dull times followed and it was run down more or less 
 for a while, but gradually picked up and was getting 
 along nicely in a pagan way, when from Dnmbarton, 
 Scotland, St. Patrick appeared on the scene, not as St. 
 Patrick, but as a youth and a Scot slave, so I learned. He 
 landed on the coast of Antrim and went to the west, 
 and the next heard of him was in France as a student 
 at the school of St. Martin of Tours. His next landing 
 in Ireland was at Strangford Lough whence he proceeded 
 to convert the people of Ulster. In 423 he met the then 
 King and Druids at the royal hill of Tara in a conference 
 concerning the Christian religion. He then proceeded 
 to build his first great church at Armagh on the site of 
 the present St. Patricks Cathedral. He had hard work 
 getting a site for his first church from the old man Duire 
 who was boss of the first ward at the time, and a fierce old 
 
86 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 dyed in the wool democrat. He refused at first to grant 
 any land on which to build, but finally let St. Patrick 
 take an old hill covered with rushes where he proceeded 
 to build, and so well that around this first church schools 
 of learning sprang up and from which issued some of 
 the best learned men of the following generations and 
 up till about the 9th or 10th centuries, when the Danes 
 came over and upset everything, knocking Armagh galley 
 west in three or four different languages. 
 
 The church was rebuit in 1268, only to be destroyed 
 by the O'Neills in the reign of Elizabeth and again in 
 the reign of Charles I. It was restored many times 
 since and little of the original is left but some of it is 
 still incorporated in the present building. The body of 
 Brian Boru is claimed to lie under the chancel, but I 
 was shown another favorite burying spot where he is 
 also interred. 
 
 It seems almost beyond belief that St. Patrick was 
 never really canonized as a saint at Rome, and that he 
 never went into the South to preach, but sent disciples. 
 Where he banished the snakes from Ireland was at a 
 place called Croagh Patrick. 
 
 Armagh, through the efforts and work of St. Patrick, 
 has always been the head of the Roman Catholic church 
 in Ireland, the Primate of Ireland having his See there 
 today. His residence and the new cathedral erected 
 lately are worthy of the primacy. I visited the Cathe- 
 dral and it can boast of mosaic work on its walls that 
 can compare favorably with any in Italy. 
 
 Got back to Portadown, had dinner, and caught the 
 train for Belfast, where we arrived about 10 at night 
 well pleased with the outing. 
 
 KILLARNEY. 
 
 After passing through a number of towns, stopping at 
 Dublin to rest and look around, arrived at the far-famed 
 Killarney, took a car, and after driving through the 
 town and about a mile and a half into the country, pulled 
 up at the Lake Hotel on the banks of the Lower Lake, 
 and was assigned to a room on the water side. 
 
 I am through with my visit, and have looked back 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 87 
 
 over it all and am well pleased with its scenery, interested 
 in its history, amused, entertained, pleased, gratified 
 and mad at its inhabitants. 
 
 I was very much interested in learning that the County 
 of Kerry, in which the lakes are planted, was the first 
 spot in Ireland to be inhabited, and lest there should 
 be any doubt about it here is when and how it happened : 
 250 years after the flood on the 14th day of May, a 
 gentleman by the name of Parthoian, landed in the 
 west of Munster; he was accompanied by the following: 
 Slaing, Laighlinne and Rudhruldhe, (his theree sons) and 
 Dealgnab, Nerbha, Ciolcbha and Cerbuad, (their four 
 wives). It seems they began their journey in the middle 
 of Greece, and steered towards Sicily, leaving Spain 
 and landing as above. 
 
 After getting a clean bill of health from the quar- 
 antine officers, and showing that they had no dutiable 
 goods in their possession, were landed. This was Cook's 
 first tourist party and the beginning of the company. 
 The old man when he first saw the lake said "Oh!" and 
 the balance of the family gave him that name. This 
 accounts for the O'Sullivans, O 'Councils, etc. The 
 family grew and spread all over the country, but the real 
 descendants of the best elements of the family continued 
 to live in the County Kerry, and the very best of them 
 made their homes around Killarney. 
 
 When they found out the lakes were so beautiful 
 they thought of advertising, but America had not been 
 discovered, and they agreed to build abbeys and mon- 
 asteries, so that when America in future centuries should 
 have been discovered and peopled with millionaires they 
 would have something old as well as beautiful to show 
 them in exchange for all they could get. This mueh- 
 desired condition of affairs was in first-class working 
 order when we arrived. 
 
 The Gap of Dunloe. 
 
 This should be seen by every American tourist, not 
 because it beats all the other places, but because you can 
 get beat better here than any other place, and this is the 
 
88 HOW I DID 
 
 only place I beat at Killarney for I did not get through 
 the gap. 
 
 I had made all arrangements with the hotel keeper 
 to take myself and wife by private car and boat for this- 
 day's excursion, he told me how much, and all was satis- 
 factory, but he could not take us through the gap, as that 
 was controlled by other people, but the fare through 
 would be half a crown each on horseback or low-back 
 car. All right, we wanted the low-back, so we started 
 off. 
 
 After passing through the town the first object I saw 
 on driving up a little hill was an old man with a flute 
 playing "The Wearing of the Green," at as much as 
 you cared to throw him. 
 
 We drove for almost a mile without meeting anybody 
 who wanted to give a way postal cards or socks for half 
 of what they cost, but towards the approach to Kate 
 Kearney's cottage, say for the last three miles, we en- 
 countered squadrons of flying cavalry, each intent on 
 selling you his horse under the pretense that he was only 
 charging you hire for riding him through the gap. 
 
 I got rid of a few regiments and detachments with the 
 anouncement that we were going through on a low-back 
 car. Then each one had a low-back car, and so it 
 continued. What with ponies, low-back cars on the part 
 of the gentlemen of the road, and postal cards, socks, 
 bog oak, and plain begging on the part of the ladies that 
 were, a most enjoyable few miles were put in, after which 
 we pulled up at Kate Kearney's cottage and the en- 
 trance to the gap. 
 
 We were told to alight and enter the former abode of 
 that celebrated beauty, which we did, and found her 
 successor a most wonderful creation. She had a mother 
 apparently, which was reasonable, and the mother of 
 the present Kate was a retailer of curios consisting of 
 articles of alleged oak bog, Irish chinaware, etc. It has 
 not necessary to buy any of the aforesaid articles, but 
 it was desirable. 
 
 She did not insist on selling her wares, but showed 
 them in such a manner that you were convinced that it 
 was no trouble to show goods. We bought, not on 
 account of the possible bargain day which we were 
 fortunate enough to bump into, but because we were 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 89 
 
 supposed to want the goods. Her daughter was a worthy 
 successor of the celebrated Kate, if the former Kate was 
 a dispenser of the re#l thing with pure cows milk mixed. 
 Sure it kept out the cold and rain and warmed the 
 cockels of your heart. I indulged, who wouldn't? 
 
 In the meantime I took a look around while our driver 
 was arranging for that celebrated "Low-back car'' 
 which we were assured would be on hand to convey, or 
 convoy, us through the gap. 
 
 After waiting an unusual length of time, and buying 
 an unnecessary amount of the creature and other com- 
 forts of that abode, we were informed that the car was 
 in waiting. We stepped outside to view the famous 
 rig that was to convey us over the pass, and beheld a 
 wagon with two wheeels and a horse with the necessary 
 number of legs awaiting. 
 
 The wagon was the most primative and the horse the 
 most up-to-date in tail, legs and head. A bag of hay 
 \\ as placed in the wagon, and we were supposed to sit 
 on that low-back car. We demurred. They expected 
 we would. 
 
 A small army gathered after we had pronounced the 
 thing impossible, they were determined we should ride 
 their ponies at their price, and I was determined that we 
 would not. The end came when I assisted my wife to 
 get aboard of the car we came on, and, taking a seat 
 on the opposite side, ordered the driver to drive back 
 to the hotel. 
 
 The loss of a fare, either by horse or by any other 
 means, staring the gang in the face, was too much 
 for them. Then the man who went after the low-back 
 car got three pence for his trouble, and the fellow 
 \vlio wanted to bugle for the echoes in the pass was 
 passed out a shilling with the hope that this echo would 
 be his last. The gang still insisting that we ride the 
 ponies, I ordered the driver home. 
 
 We started, and the return trip was about the same 
 HS the coming. We had our own way, however, and 
 arrived at the hotel. The horses, the driver and myself 
 at outs. I ordered a car for one of the so-called long 
 drives and had a most enjoyable afternoon, taking in 
 
90 HOW I DID EUROPE" 
 
 many of the places of interest that we might have 
 otherwise omitted. 
 
 In the evening I met at our hotel a number of Americans 
 who had taken the Gap, and the language they used to- 
 describe their experience would simply make the paper 
 sizzle. I was informed that when they onee got aboard 
 the horses and started, at intervals of about thirty yards, 
 they were stopped, or at least the horses, were, which 
 meant the same tiling, by old or young women who 
 had for sale socks which nobody could wear, curios: 
 nobody wanted, and relics which everybody doubted, 
 and when the end of the journey was reached they 
 summed up as follows: Paid out about 16 shillings each 
 and nothing to show for it. 
 
 The Lakes. 
 
 The lakes are beautiful, three in number, (the upper,, 
 middle and lower) dotted with small islands and con- 
 nected with each other and surrounded by mountains- 
 that are grand in their rugged bareness of peak or forest 
 covered sloping sides. We drove through the most 
 pleasant forest scenery around the lakes and boated on 
 the waters from the hotel on the lowei lake to the middle 
 and upper, shooting the rapids under the old weir 
 bridge, resting at the meeting of the waters, and re- 
 turning by the opposite side which showed the shore 
 rocks worn into most peculiar shapes of column and 
 cave by the action of the waters, landed on Innisfalen, 
 and visited the ruined shrine. 
 
 The island has been described as the most beautiful 
 spot in the world. The monestery is gone and most of 
 the Abbey. A few walls remain standing. 
 
 The island itself is pretty, and when occupied mu^t 
 have been all that has been said about it. In about the 
 center is a spot where it is said were buried in olden 
 times the Abbots and Monks. A slab is pointed out as 
 covering this sacred ground, and around about it grows 
 an old yew tree as if to protect it. The slab is plainly 
 in view under the tree. This old monastery was built 
 in the 6th century and the abbey in the 7th, worn by 
 age and troublous times, it was destroyed and restored 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 91 
 
 at different periods until it was finally sent the way of 
 all monasteries by Cromwell. 
 
 Muckross Abbey. 
 
 Muckross Abbey we visited by jaunting car. It is one 
 of the best preserved of any of the abbeys we have seen 
 yet, being in charge of an attendant and preserved by 
 the Antiquary Society. It was founded in 1340 sup- 
 pressed in 1542, renovated in 1602 and destroyed in 1652. 
 It is yet two stories high and contains many old stones 
 inside under which some of the most distinguished 
 people of the lakes are quietly resting. 
 
 Ross Castle. 
 
 Ross Castle is another place on the lower lake where 
 we drove to. It is pleasantly situated on the water 
 edge. I went to look and a guardian asked me if I 
 wanted to go in. I did, and coughed up 3d. for the 
 privilege of climbing 94 stone steps. The view from 
 the top, however, paid for the exertion. This castle 
 was the fort of O'Donoghue. He is said to lie enchanted 
 at the bottom of the lake surrounded by his people, and 
 once every seven years he is to be seen on May mornings 
 riding across the lake on a white steed and the person 
 who sees him will ever after be lucky. None of the 
 people who told me about this had ever seen him. 
 
 Tore Waterfall is off the driveway about 200 yards 
 through the woods, at the entrance of which stands a 
 gate and a man. The gate is ajar but the man is not, 
 it requires 9d. to see the waterfall, which goes to show 
 that even nature will not work unless paid for. The 
 falls are certainly pretty, in a nice secluded spot, they 
 come tumbling over the rocks in three distinct streams, 
 which unite and flow again over the next ledge and then 
 break into many parts unto jagged rocks, meeting finally 
 in the stream below. 
 
 Eagles Nest. 
 
 The Eagles Nest is to be seen from most places, it is 
 a high bluff but not the highest peak as I imagined it 
 
92 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 would be. It is only 1100 feet, but on account of its 
 boldness looks prominent. The highest peak of the 
 mountains around the lakes is 3414 feet The Devils 
 Bite is a fault or bite in the mountain, it shows very 
 plainly and looks as if a piece had actually been taken 
 out. 
 
 The story told is that Brian Boru was driving the 
 Devil out of Ireland and they had a fight on this moun- 
 tain the devil claiming the right to stay there, but Brian 
 got the best of him, and in his anger at his defeat the 
 devil bit this piece out of the mountain so that he might 
 carry some part of Ireland home with him as a souvenir, 
 like the American tourist, but Brian got a half Nelson 
 on the devil and made him drop the bite which fell in the 
 lake near the rock of the Coleen Bawn. 
 
 Devil's Punch Bowl. 
 
 The Devil's Punch Bowl is a natural reservoir 2,000 
 feet high, from which Killarney town gets its water, it 
 has never been known to freeze over and yet it is like 
 ice water in summer. 
 
 Dina's Cottage. 
 
 Dina's Cottage is a pretty place where people gen- 
 erally land for a few minutes after coming through the 
 Weir bridge and the meeting of the waters. You can 
 buy a cup of tea and bog oak or either separately. 
 
 Glengarriff. 
 
 The following morning at 10 a. m., the coach for 
 Glengarriff pulled up at the hotel and we were soon 
 aboard, having previously engaged the box seats along 
 side of the driver, who proved to be a good natured old 
 native with the necessary amount of wit highly seasoned 
 with blarney. He and I soon became friends in a good 
 natured joshing way. He knew the road well and his 
 horse better, and when he was not talking to the pas- 
 sengers, he was either coaxing, flattering or threatening 
 his horses. 
 
 A passenger just behind us an American, of course, 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 93 
 
 with a camera was taking farewell snap shots at the 
 lakes from every point of view, sometimes when the 
 coach was going:, and always when it stopped either to 
 allow us to admire the view or rest the horses. 
 
 The last snap shot our friend took the old driver re- 
 marked : Sure, it 's a wonder there 's a bit of it left at all 
 at all, so many of the Americans do be taking it away 
 with them. I think the old man must have a bit of 
 sarcasm in his composition, as the snap shot man had 
 requested the driver to stop a few times to enable him 
 to get a better picture of the lakes, and the driver was 
 becoming a little tired of this experience. 
 
 The drive was through a rough but picturesque 
 country, wild and unkept, as were most of the natives 
 we met. About the only habitable abode we saw in a 
 long stretch of country was a police barricks. Rocks 
 here and peat bogs there, huts scattered or grouped, but 
 of the most primative character. 
 
 This character of country continued for about an 
 hour and a half, when we pulled up at a roadside house 
 where, as the driver said, we would spoil about five 
 minutes in one way or another. Some of us alighted, 
 and a gentleman who seemed to know what he was 
 talking about told me that there might be bad whisky 
 sold in Ireland, but it was not to be had in there. I 
 ;isked him to go in and take a chance; he said he didn't 
 tell me that to get me to ask him, but since I wished it 
 he wouldn't refuse. 
 
 The country continued mountainous and rolling, with 
 a cultivated bit here and there, till we neared Kinmare, 
 which we reached at about half past one. 
 
 This is a pretty little place with a good hotel where we 
 had lunch. The scenery around here is good, fishing 
 and hunting attract many, and lace making at the 
 Convent of Poor Clares is of such a fine quality that it 
 keeps the name before the public. 
 
 We were soon on our way again, and after some more 
 climbing, passed out of County Kerry to that of Cork 
 through a tunnel in the Esk mountains. The tunnel 
 is wet and sloppy, cold and drafty, and it was a pleas- 
 ant surprise on emerging from the Cork end to find a 
 cottage and a warm cup of tea that's all. We rattled 
 along, our old driver chirping, hissing, talking and 
 
<)4 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 fussing with his horses, till about six o'clock when we 
 made a turn in the road, rattled up the hill, and were in 
 Glengarriff, deposited the mail and the passengers who 
 were going to stop at the down town hotel. 
 
 We then drove on and out into the country thrugh 
 scenery that equals if it does not eclipse Killarney. A 
 run of about a mile brought us to Roaches, where we 
 stopped for the night after a drive of 44 miles. 
 
 The hotel and fare were good, but even had they 
 not been, the scenery around is of such a character that 
 we would have forgotten our creature comforts for the 
 grandeur of the panorama of water, earth and sky. 
 Glengarriff has been so much written about that I won't 
 say more than to add that all I have thought or said 
 about Killarney can be applied to it cutting out the 
 profanity. 
 
 The next day saw us on our way to Bantry over a road 
 that leads through a country of rocks and quarries of 
 slate, rivers and streams, with Bantry Bay almost always 
 in sight. Some farming land adds a friendly appear- 
 ance to the landscape and the running of children after 
 the coach every once in a while reminds you that you 
 are still in the country where the future pony drivers 
 are being raised for the Gap of Dunloe. 
 
 A three hours' drive brought us to the town of Bantry. 
 A small town with quite a history. It consists of one 
 long street called Barrack street, I think, and at right 
 angles with this is another leading to the bay. The 
 houses are ordinary, mostly one, two and three storys 
 old style one-stories with thatched roofs, and the two and 
 three with slate roofs. 
 
 Bantry Bay was entered by the French in 1689 to aid 
 James II, and again in 1796 to aid Ireland in the 
 revolution. This fleet was dispersed by a storm. One 
 of the vessels had Wolfe Tone, the leader of the Irish 
 Republican party on board. 
 
 After looking around for a short time we found our- 
 selves at the R. R. station, and soon on the train for Cork, 
 at which place we arrived about 7 p. m., drove to the 
 Imperial Hotel, where we got better accommodations 
 than we expected. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 95 
 
 CORK. 
 
 Cork is quite a town, built on the river Lee. It first 
 got into society in the seventh century, when the mis- 
 sionary bishop, St. Fin Barre, founded a monastery. 
 Two centurys afterward the Danes took a chance at it 
 and established the depot for future red-headed Irish. 
 The characteristics of the Dane, it is claimed, still 
 appear in the Coruonions. 
 
 Cork has a few good streets, of which St. Patrick is 
 the best. A statue of Father Mathew, the great tem- 
 perance advocate, occupies a prominent place on this 
 street. Shandon church and its famous bells and St. 
 Fin Barres cathedral constitute some ol the attractions 
 of Rebel Cork. It has no greater attraction for me 
 than being close to that celebrated place called Blarney 
 Castle. 
 
 Blarney Castle. 
 
 It took us about an hour on a slow train to reach the 
 station of Blarney, and a walk of about live minutes from 
 there to the Castle. 
 
 A youthful looking old lady was in charge of the 
 register, after signing which, you may take charge of 
 the Castle and wander around to your hearts content. 
 This lady informed me that she had charge of the place 
 for the last 37 years, and when I asked her if her mother 
 used to bring her to her job at first she told me the 
 Blarney was working already. 
 
 The Castle is as old as it is celebrated, and this re- 
 versed. It belonged to the MacCarthy during the time 
 of good Queen Bess, and when she doubted his loyalty 
 to her throne he would make such extravagant pro- 
 fessions of loyalty that she couldn't help appearing to 
 believe in him, though she doubted his sincerity. On 
 one occasion, when he overstepped the mark and being 
 called upon to explain, the report he sent to her Majesty 
 was so flattering and at the same time insincere that 
 she exclaimed that it was all " blarney." This was 
 the origin of the word in its present meaning. 
 
1)0 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 The Blarney Stone. 
 
 The Castle got into its present condition on account 
 of a heated argument between its then owner and a 
 gentle man by the name of Cromwell in 1642, since which 
 time it has never been used as a residence. The stone 
 which contains all the blarney is about 120 feet above the 
 walk below. It is the lintel of the top window, and in 
 order to kiss the under side of the stone it is necessary 
 first to lie flat on your back, bend backward, and clutch- 
 ing hold of two upright bars of iron, lower the upper part 
 of your body, till your head gets below the stone. ,After 
 leaving your saliva impression, the next thing is to get 
 back again, which is as difficult, if not more so, than the 
 getting down. In order that those whose lips can 
 find no better occupation may touch the spot that 
 other lips have so lovingly caressed, a hole has been cut 
 in the floor about six feet long and about two feet from 
 the wall. 
 
 Kissing the Blarney Stone. 
 
 I looked the situation over a number of others were 
 doing likewise, about a dozen having come up in the 
 same train, and with some of whom we got in conver- 
 sation. Among the latter was a young lady, more or 
 less, whose voting years were equal to her qualifying 
 period at least one and a half times. She was on the roof, 
 and the first thing I knew she was removing her wrap 
 then her long coat. By this time I thought I would ask if 
 it was to be Queensbury or Cupid and was soon satisfied 
 when she said "I'm going to kiss it." As I saw I 
 couldn't stop her, I told her I would help her, and, 
 calling on a heavy-looking gentleman to assist me, we 
 got her placed in position one, lying on back. Exercise 
 No. 2 called for bending back and grasping the iron bars, 
 which she did. Now came the most delicate and 
 dangerous part of the performance ours delicate, hers 
 dangerous. It became our duty as well as our no 
 just our duty, to hold the boot part of the lady's body, 
 so that should fright or weakness overcome her we 
 might prevent her from falling the distance of 120 feet 
 and not only kissing but biting the dust. Well we held 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 97 
 
 on. and she lowered her body till she got her head well 
 underneath, and she kissed that blarney stone, and such 
 a one as I never heard before. The sound was a cross 
 between the busting of a gas baloon and the slipping of 
 a loose belt on a pulley. 
 
 We pulled her back into safety with particles of the 
 blistered stone clinging lovingly to her tender lips. She 
 stamped her feet to ascertain if she was in the altogether, 
 and not finding any inequality in the length of her 
 walking arrangements, concluded that we were perfect 
 gentlemen, and as such thanked us for our kind assist- 
 ance. 
 
 I told her it was indeed a pleasure, etc., but that though 
 she has kissed the blarney stone and we had heard her 
 do it, yet the people in far off Australia might be 
 sceptical, as there would be no evidence other than her 
 lips that the act was performed. I told her after she 
 had regained her breath at the fright of such a possi- 
 bility, that I would write out a certificate to the effect 
 that it was so. She was delighted, and we all returned 
 to the ground floor. I asked the thirty-seven-years-in- 
 charge lady for a piece of paper. She didn't have a 
 bit, but when I explained what I wanted it for she tore 
 the back page out of the register. I wrote it out and 
 all present, asistants and spectators alike, signed it. 
 
 The girl was so happy over the possession of this 
 precious document that had it not been for the thought 
 of remaining true to the stone, I believe she would have 
 kissed me out of the fullness of her heart. The gentlman 
 that assisted and myself stayed around for some little 
 time to see if any of the others wanted to kiss the blarney 
 stone, but no one offering we said goodbye to the kissing 
 girl at Blarney and the blarney-kissed stone. 
 
 We rode back to Cork and our hotel, and had a hearty 
 dinner. I must have eaten something like a welsh 
 rarebit, for all night long I dreamt that I was the blarney 
 stone and that all the young maids from Australia were 
 trying to kiss me. 
 
 The following day we took the train for Dublin. 
 
98 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 DUBLIN, 
 
 The capital of Ireland has belonged to so many peoples 
 that it is hard to say what it is Irish, English or Danish. 
 It has been known as the town of the hurdle-ford and 
 Duibh-linn (the black pool). 
 
 It first began to be mentioned in the daily papers 
 about 448, when the king of Baile-atha-claith (wherever 
 that was) got converted to the Christian faith by Saint 
 Patrick and was baptized at a spring on the south side, 
 now St. Patricks well. Things went along nicely for 
 some time and the people were about to vote on starting 
 Donnebrook as a side show when along comes the Danes 
 and makes Dublin the capital of their settlement in 
 Leinster, and started to fortify the town by building 
 defenses. They made the poor Irish act as hod-carriers, 
 and thus began that ancient and honorable calling, or 
 profession, which so many of the descendants of the 
 old dart have clung to ever since, each one hoping that 
 some day he might go to America and become the 
 walking delegate for the union. 
 
 Brian Boru heard of the Danes and put out from his 
 home in Munster, took Dublin and made it very unpleas- 
 ant for the red-headed gentlemen. 
 
 The diplomatic relations between the Danes and the 
 Irish continued strained for a century or so, each trying 
 to reduce the voting strength of the other by any means 
 short of buying drinks. In 1171 along comes the 
 Anglo-Normans and swats the Danes and sinks their 
 torpedo destroyers and captures their submarine boats 
 and Prince Hasculfs and put him to death. 
 
 The city then went to King Henry II of England, 
 who feasted the Irish chiefs on corned beef and cabbage, 
 and then gave the town to his friends from Bristol. Con- 
 tinuous scrapping prevailed, but during all this time the 
 better element were busy building churches and brew- 
 eries two great civilizing influences. 
 
 Christ church was built in 1038 by Sigteyg, the 
 Christian King of the Irish Danes, rebuilt 1170 by the 
 Normans. It collapsed in 1562, and was finally put in 
 its present condition by Mr. Roe, the whiskey distiller. 
 
 St. Patricks was started as a rival to Christ Church in 
 1190 on the site of the old St. Patricks. This church, 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 
 
 99 
 
 like the other, went to the bad, was repaired and restored 
 a number of times. 
 
 It was used by Cromwell as a law court, by James II 
 as a stable, and in 1860-5, was put in its present 
 condition by the owner of a brewery, Sir Benjamin Guin- 
 ness. Christ Church restored by whisky, St. Patrick by 
 porter. Christ Church is said to have cost more than 
 St. Patricks. 
 
 Dean Swift was in charge of St. Patricks and he was 
 buried there. This lends an added interest to that 
 church. Both churches are close together. One is the 
 National and the other the City church. 
 
 Dublin at present is crowding Belfast pretty hard for 
 first place in population. Though it has not the business 
 in manufacturies, it makes up in other ways. 
 
 St. Stephens, Green and Phoenix Park, especially the 
 latter, are places where pure air and a good walk, or 
 drive can be enjoyed. We drove through the park and 
 saw the spot where Lord Cavendish and Mr. Burke were 
 murdered in 1882. We drove past the several statues 
 erected to the memory of people who are supposed to 
 have aided or injured Ireland; visited some of the places 
 of note, namely the National Museum and Library, Bank 
 of Ireland, Trinity College, the Castle, the Four Courts 
 and the Worlds' Fair. 
 
 The National Museum has many interesting things of 
 Ireland: its old bells and crosses, curiously engraved, 
 old stones and many fine samples of Irish lace. 
 
 The Bank of Ireland is noted because of its history as 
 the meeting place of the House of Parliment in College 
 Green. 
 
 It seems in the 17th century it was known as 
 Chichester House, and after the Restoration was pur- 
 chased for the Parliment, and was built, or rebuilt, in 
 1729-39. The Union in 1801 put it out of commissioin, and 
 it was purchased by the Bank of Ireland for 40,000 
 pounds. It was changed around to suit the banking 
 business, but the House of Lords remains as it was the 
 same chairs and tables, in an oblong room. The walls 
 of either side are covered with tapestry on one side 
 The Battle of the Bayne and on the other the Siege of 
 Londonderry. 
 
 Graf ton, College Green, Dame and Sackville streets. 
 
100 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 are good, and the stores on Grafton street are a fair 
 comparison with the best of most large cities in the 
 British Isles. 
 
 The Worlds' Fair is short drive out past St. Stephens, 
 Green. We went there in the afternoon, had dinner on 
 the grounds and spent a pleasant evening looking over a 
 very creditable exhibition of the products of Ireland and 
 a fine display from Canada. 
 
 The show itself was not very large, but it filled the bill, 
 and whatever was lacking in quantity was certainly 
 made up for in Irish enthusiasm, from the baby in the 
 incubator to an Irish wake. All the phases of life were 
 depicted, and through it all we failed to find any evidence 
 of "The most distressful country." 
 
 Dublin is a fine city, and its people are said to speak 
 the English in its purity, and I think they do, and with a 
 delightful Dublin accent, but they still cling to that 
 outlandish custom of printing their menus in a language 
 that neither themselves nor the average diner can under- 
 stand. At the Shellbourne Hotel the menus are printed 
 in alleged French. When I picked it up the first 
 morning to order my breakfast I was surprised, and told 
 the German waiter who was to take my order that I 
 could not speak Irish. Veil dot vos not Irish, dot vas 
 French. I told him it was just as bad, and to get some 
 one who could take the order in English. I wanted 
 oatmeal, either as porridge, mush or stirabout that 
 is the English, American and Irish way of calling it. 
 Why won't some hotel manager with the bump of 
 common sense developed to a common size print 
 his bill of fare in the language of the country. his hotel 
 is in, instead of making asses of ninety-eight per cent 
 
 of his patrons for the benefit of the 1 was going to 
 
 say two, but I was then including the manager, but on 
 second thought the manager does not as a rule know 
 what his bill of fare means himself. 
 
 Dublin would require a longer stay than we could give 
 to learn to order our meals and take in all that is worth 
 seeing, but we saw what we could, also what we ate, and 
 after vision and appetite had been satisfied, took the 
 train for Belfast, where we arrived about 10 P. M., had 
 supper in English and retired. 
 
 Spent the following two days visiting and buying 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 101 
 
 things impossible as presents or souvenirs, with the 
 exception of passenger tickets to Glasgow, for which 
 place we sailed the following evening, after saying good- 
 bye to quite a number of new-made friends and one or 
 two of the very long ago. 
 
 GLASGOW 
 
 Glasgow, though a modern city in every sense of the 
 word, would not have one "think" it had not a past. It 
 has a saint, its Cathedral, its royal visitors, its war times 
 and its peace. To show that Glasgow is no upstart, it 
 points to the fact that in the 3rd century St. Ninian es- 
 tablished himself in a cell on the banks of the Molen- 
 dinar, at Glasgow. How long he remained is not told, but 
 after his departure it adds that the place was left to 
 heathendom, and did not know much about anything 
 until the patron saint, Kentigren, familiarly known as 
 "Mungo," took a chance, in the sixth century. He con- 
 verted everything in sight, but that was not saying 
 much. The people around became so good that nothing 
 was heard of them from then till the 12th century, and 
 even then Glasgow would not have known it was on the 
 map had not a new Bishop been sent around to stir things 
 up on the Clyde. His name was loceline, and he stood 
 so well higher up, that William The Lion made them a 
 burgh, with a weekly market. 
 
 This happened in 1176, and later they were permitted 
 to loaf for two weeks annually, from the Thursday of the 
 second week in July. This is known as the Glasgow fair. 
 
 The city cannot remember who its Godparents were 
 who gave it that name, but looks back to i>h& 4i?ne, of 
 Mungo, when it was called Cathures, but doefe -nofc kn'o'w 
 why. The wise ones say it is of Celtic origin; knd j>robaM^. :. ;. 
 means the "grey smith/' but they do not'- care'? teo Ub'n'g '.'',:' 
 as you let Glasgow flourish, which is the motto of the city. 
 But when some one called them down because it was 
 selfish, they added "by the preaching of thy word." 
 
 In order to keep up an air of respectability it points 
 to the fact that it had some rough-house in early days, 
 William Wallace taking a fall out of some English right 
 in the streets in 1300, and in 1697 Prince Charlie passed 
 through on his way home from a disagreement with Eng- 
 
102 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 land. He reviewed his troops in Glasgow Green, and 
 told them there was nothing doing. 
 
 Its first real idea of becoming anything much occurred 
 to it after the discovery of America and the river Clyde. 
 Tobacco and sugar became their long suite, and when 
 the War of Independence broke out Glasgow controlled 
 half the tobacco trade of the kingdom. The people 
 smoked up and got a move on; found out they could 
 build ships and swelled up to such an extent that at the 
 present time, with a population of 1,000,000, they are in- 
 viting delegations from other countries to show them 
 how to govern a city and not have graft scandals come 
 to light. 
 
 The city is commercial, first, last and all the time. 
 Some little sentiment is to be found here and there, but 
 it is not scattered broadcast. 
 
 The Cathedral is the relic of olden times, and is dedi- 
 cated to St. Kentigren. The first part of it was built 
 in 560, and was considerably out of date when King 
 David came to the throne in 1124, and appointed John 
 Achaius Bishop of Glasgow, and endowed and dedicated 
 the Cathedral in 1136, which was built on the original 
 site. 
 
 The present church is old, but nothing of the 1136 
 one is left except the lot and a little of the foundation. 
 The architecture is early English, and compares favor- 
 ably with many other churches in other towns, where 
 they have more time for prayers. 
 
 The city itself is not especially beautiful, but has good 
 substantial buildings, particularly of municipal character. 
 G^Q^;gH';Sc[i|are, the center of the city, contains monu- 
 ments L '*6f "-public characters, and one side is taken up 
 b^ Hie "City -Chambers," a building that Glasgow may 
 well be-prottci of. The general postoffice, the Bank of 
 Scotland and other notable buildings are around this 
 square. 
 
 The principal shopping streets are Sauchuhall, Argyle, 
 Jamica, Trongate and Buchannan streets. 
 
 The river Clyde, the great ship-building waterway, is 
 navigable for ocean vessels as far as Jamica-street bridge, 
 which might be called the business center of Glasgow. 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 103 
 
 It is all business, and a person has no business there un- 
 less he goes on business. 
 
 A stay of three days satisfied us. It was instructive, 
 but not exhilirating. 
 
 EDINBURGH. 
 
 A ride of an hour and five minutes from Glasgow land- 
 ed us at the North British station in Edinburgh, in time 
 for lunch at the railway hotel, "The North British." 
 The train arrives about 50 feet below Princess street. 
 We were shown to the lift and landed on the office floor, 
 and assigned to a room. Had lunch soon after, and then 
 ordered a carriage and started out to see the town. 
 
 Edinburgh, from every point of view is interesting. I 
 was interested before I saw it, and since seeing it my in- 
 terest has increased to admiration. 
 
 It was first talked about in 617, when Edwin, King of 
 Northumbria, established a fortress on the Castle Rock. 
 Buildings began to spring up at the base of the rock, and 
 we find Edwin Burgh. It was a small change from Ed- 
 win Burgh to Edinburgh, and in those days everybody 
 wanted the change. 
 
 The history of the Castle and the town read so much 
 alike that with few exceptions they may be considered 
 one. 
 
 England and Scotland had some very heated argu- 
 ments over this castle before and after it became the 
 capital of Scotland, which took place in 1437, Perth 
 having heretofore been the brain center of national 
 activity. 
 
 It is not necessary to go into the cause of the hard feel- 
 ing that existed between London and Edingurgh, nor 
 the trouble that ensued by people taking sides, further 
 than to say that Edingurgh was involuntarily made the 
 host of the English in 1544, and again in 1650, when 
 Cromwell, knowing that he was not popular, insisted on 
 calling, and sending a lot of his followers as boarders 
 to the castle, dead-heading the whole bunch. 
 
 This sort of business became tiresome, and London 
 and Edinburgh came to the conclusion that it would be 
 just as well to get together, and instead of fussing around 
 about the color of one fellows tartan, or the style of the 
 
104 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 other fellows' silk hat, or knee breeches, see to it that no 
 one should butt in against the other, even if they could 
 not always think each other as good as he ought to be. 
 
 This gave Edingurgh a chance to sit down quietly in 
 the winter evenings, and tell about Mary Queen of Scotts, 
 John Knox, Sir Walter Scott and other people, and some 
 of the houses made famous by them and their history. 
 
 As I am on the subject of Mary and others, I may as 
 well tell you what I learned of them during my visit to 
 the scene; but as Mary and some of the Scottish chara- 
 cters will appear in the Castle, either as rulers or prison- 
 ers, I might as well tell all I know about it in a general 
 way. 
 
 The Castle, towering over the finest city in the 
 British Empire, (this is not original, I read it in Edin- 
 burgh), is shrouded in oblivion, but it is known that 
 prior to 617 the Picts had a place on the hill in which 
 the daughters of the Kings and nobles were kept so that 
 the Scots could not make eyes at them. This was what 
 caused Edwin to take a chance at it. Then in 687 the 
 Picts took it back again, and, on Hog-ma-nay night, they 
 took account of their possessions and found as follows: 
 
 The grounds and the Castle occupy seven acres on top, 
 and was fronted by an esplanade 350 feet long and 300 
 feet wide, and 443 feet above sea-level; a few rooms, and 
 very little in the larder, an empty whisky bottle with- 
 out the label (but it is supposed to have been one of 
 Edinburgh's best Scotch annihilators). Search in the base- 
 ment disclosed a full case of the same brand, and noth- 
 ing further is said about the history of the Castle for a 
 long time. 
 
 Malcolmn III made it his residence in the latter part 
 of the llth century, and Margaret, his wife, had built a 
 chapel on the heights. It still remains, and has been 
 restored. It is on the site where the Mons Meg battery 
 stands, and is said to be the smallest chapel in Scotland. 
 
 Things ran along indifferently until that hapless 
 Queen Mary came along. She was born on the 8th of 
 December, 1542, at Linlithgow Palace. James, her 
 father, was dying at Falkland Palace at the same time, 
 and when he was informed of her birth, he exclaimed: 
 "The crown came with a lass and will go with a lass." 
 
 Henry VIII wanted her for his son, so that the coun- 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 105 
 
 tries should be united, but some church people kicked, 
 and she was affianced to the Dauphin of France, and at 
 the age of about six years she was sent over to be edu- 
 cated as a future queen of France should be. 
 
 She was married in Paris on the 24th of April, 1558, 
 at the Cathedral Notre Dame. 
 
 Elizabeth became queen of England about this time, 
 and the King of France, dying, raised Mary, with her 
 husband, as rulers of that country. Then Mary's mother 
 died in Scotland, and Mary became queen there, and her 
 trouble began. She was up against John Knox and the 
 reformers, Elizabeth and others. She had a few hus- 
 bands, some friends and many enemies. She will never 
 be canonized as a saint, but she came within one of be- 
 ing a martyr. 
 
 Sir Walter Scott was born in Edinburg, Aug, 15, 1771. 
 His career is so well known that it is unnecessary to go in- 
 to details. His unfortunate venture in business, and the 
 failure of his associates, his great work to clear off the 
 debt, his association with people and places around 
 Cannongate, his whole life, and final end, show the grand 
 character of the man. Edinburgh has erected on Princess 
 street a monument to his memory that is worthy of both 
 the city and the man. 
 
 John Knox, the great reformer of Scotland, was born 
 at Haddington, in the country town of East Lothian, in 
 1505. He was educated later in the University at Glas- 
 gow. He had all sorts of ups and downs, did John, but 
 he was a good stayer, and when the reformation came 
 around, he took two tickets and attended every per- 
 formance. 
 
 He got into all sorts of mix-ups with Queen Mary 
 about which way her little lambs should go. His house 
 on High street, is visited by many, on account of his mem- 
 ory, and the persons that in his life time visited him 
 there, either as friend or foe. 
 
 He died in 1572, and from what I learned, his neighbors 
 all seem satisfied about both his birth and his death. 
 
 Edinburgh has other things outside the Castle, Mary, 
 Knox and Scott, that are worth spending a few minutes 
 over. For instance, we were pointed out the house where 
 Darwin roomed when he was monkeying with the ques- 
 tion of the descent of man. Where Burns slept (if he 
 
106 HOW I DID EUEOPE 
 
 ever did) when in Edinburgh; his Masonic lodge room, 
 which I visited the place where he and Scott met. 
 
 Leaving individuals, we were shown Holyrood Castle, 
 the Westminister of Scotland, in one sense, the closes 
 in Canongate, the museum, and many other places and 
 things, but it would take too long to tell of them, and 
 they can be read about. 
 
 We took the train and went as far as the Forth Bridge, 
 a wonderful piece of engineering. It is the highest 
 bridge in the world, being 450 feet from its base to the 
 highest point. It is one and one-fifth miles long and is 
 cantilever in construction; 50,000 tons of steel were used 
 in building it, and it required 8,000,000 rivets to hold 
 the steel in place. Seven years were required in its build- 
 ing, at a cost of $17,500,000. 
 
 Now that we are through with monuments and things, 
 a few words about the place itself. 
 
 I consider Princess street one of the best to be found 
 anywhere I have visited. The hotels and stores are ex- 
 cellent; the residence district all that could be expected. 
 I have seen more than I expected, and would like to 
 write something of what I have heard, but I have our 
 tickets for New York in my pocket, and our things are 
 in Wigan, so we must hurry away from a trip that is 
 half finished, but carrying away with us pleasant mem- 
 ories of "Auld Reekie," and a lingering hope that this 
 will not be the last visit. 
 
 WIGAN. 
 
 Wigan, the jumping-off place of England, I might call 
 it, although Liverpool is actually it. The in-and-out town 
 in Lancashire, where we first put our slippers under the 
 bed, as a home, and from where we motored to Liverpool 
 on the 2nd of November, after scraping the mud from our 
 feet and wiping a mixture of coal dust and a Wigan driz- 
 zle from our faces. 
 
 This would not seem good for Wigan, and would lead 
 one to think that as a town it was only a necessity, so far 
 as we were concerned; but that would be wrong, for 
 Wigan, its coal dust and soot, its dialect and clogs not- 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 107 
 
 withstanding, has wiggled itself into a very warm spot in 
 our hearts. 
 
 It is a town hardly worth speaking about, or a very 
 important place, just as you see it or know it. To see 
 it, you could forget it in a minute, but to know it and its 
 people, then you would remember it as a community of 
 individuals who desire to live and let live. 
 
 This statement is hardly correct. Their desire to live 
 is all right, but the let live part of it must be qualified. 
 Had they let me live, from their point of view, I would 
 have been dead in a month, with eating between drinks, 
 and drinking between meals. 
 
 It gets its first notice in the morning papers about 
 the Roman period. I find all towns in England are dug 
 up by the Romans, and start making history for them- 
 selves immediately after. Wigan needed some digging 
 up then, but not now. It is the most dug up place in the 
 world. The town is built over old worked-out coal mines, 
 and the settlement of the earth causes the houses to act 
 like the English people crack but not bend. 
 
 But the town really deserves better at my hands and 
 I must not abuse it. 
 
 Its history is about as follows: Its origin is Saxon; 
 its name means a fight, or rather fights; it was taking 
 milk diet in the Roman period; cutting its eye teeth un- 
 der the supervision of King Arthur; got in on the right 
 side after the Norman con inest. Chartered by Henry 
 III, and told to continue doing business by Edward II, 
 Henry VI and Charles II. 
 
 It has its local history, and who can blame it for telling 
 that a valiant Knight went to the Crusades from Wigan. 
 His name was Sir William Bradshaighe. He left behind a 
 weeping family. He was gone for ten years. In the 
 meantime a fellow from St. Helens, or Wales, or some 
 other out-laying burgh, came home and, told the good 
 lady that it was 23 for the old man; that the Saracens 
 didn't do a thing to him. He kept calling afternoons 
 and evenings, and finally married Lady Mab. 
 
 An Enoch Arden scene took place one day later, but 
 the traitor who had married the lady fled, but was pur- 
 sued, and the funeral of the butter-in was held a few 
 days after at Newton Park. A cross in Wigan is still to 
 be seen, to which, as a self-inflicted penalty for marrying 
 
108 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 the Welcher, the lady walked barefoot from her home 
 once a week, and the place is known as Mab's Cross. 
 
 Wigan at present has. a population of close to 100,000, 
 Coal mines, iron and cotton are its. chief industries. It 
 has no buildings of note, except the church, which some 
 swear by, and some at ; and a main street, on which two 
 railway stations are located. From this street branch 
 two others, one leading to the football grounds and the 
 other to the Workhouse. Ours was the Workhouse, and 
 our abiding place, the master and matron being our 
 friends since the days of our mud-pie, marble and top 
 period. 
 
 The Conservative Club, composed of the most liberal 
 fellows, made it pleasant for me during my in-and-out 
 periods, and the families of some of the members (excel- 
 lent people, strange to say) made the week of our de- 
 parture one to be remembered. 
 
 We left smoky, sooty, dirty, dreary Wigan, with its 
 good-natured, whole-souled people behind, on the 2nd of 
 November. When the gates of the Workhouse shut us 
 out, and accompanied by the master and matron, motored 
 through the adjoining burghs to Liverpool and the 
 steamer Lusitania. 
 
 LIVERPOOL AND ON BOARD. 
 
 After a good run through towns and villages we ar- 
 rived in Liverpool. We had, by an early train, sent our 
 things, and made direct for the boat, and found every- 
 thing that we had marked i( wanted" in our cabin. We 
 went ashore again and had a look around. 
 
 Liverpool is the second city and the principal sea- 
 port in England, with a population of about 700,000. I 
 had looked it over before and thought it would do, but 
 when I boarded the steamer and took a general look 
 through her, I came to the conclusion that Liverpool is 
 but a small place, indeed, and is mentioned only in con- 
 nection with the Cunard Steamship Company as a coal- 
 ing station and point of departure for the queen of the 
 waters, the Lusitania. 
 
 The crowded wharfs, the bustle of the longshoresmen, 
 the rush of the passengers' baggage in the hold and 
 cabins, a long blast of the whistle, the all ashore order, 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 109 
 
 the laughing, crying and hysterical good-byes and em- 
 braces, a few short orders, the gang plank down, the 
 ropes cast off, another toot or so, and we were clear of 
 the wharf, and amid waving of handkerchiefs, umbrellas, 
 flags and hats, started to break the world *s record on 
 the greatest steamship that ever floated. 
 
 THE LUSITANIA. 
 
 The Lusitania was built on the Clyde. She is 790 feet 
 long, 88 feet broad and 60 feet deep; with a displacement 
 of 43.000 tons; speed 25 knots, and can carry 3150 per- 
 sons. 
 
 The state rooms are 10^2 feet high, and there are 5000 
 electric lamps and 1200 windows; five decks for passen- 
 gers, and two elevators in the first salon. There are two 
 dining rooms , one on the upper and one on the salon 
 deck; the upper and lower are connected by a large cen- 
 tral light-well. The upper has small tables, and the lower 
 is set with short lengths on the sides and small round 
 ones in the center. 
 
 On the salon promenade deck is a writing room and 
 library forward; then the main stair case and elevators. 
 
 This is also a general lounging place. A passage on 
 either side leads to the salon, lounging and music rooms. 
 Through another passage one on either side to the salon 
 smoking room, and from that still further aft to the 
 veranda cafe or palm garden, open at the end and pre- 
 senting a full view of the ocean without exposure to the 
 weather. All these rooms are fitted up with fine lounges 
 and chairs of the most comfortable character. The salon 
 promenade deck has an uncovered promenade equal to 
 400 yards to the lap ; the one below this, or the promenade 
 deck, has the same distance around, but is largely oc- 
 cupied with ,the personal chairs of the passengers 
 something not allowed above. 
 
 Taking the ship right through, every accommodation 
 of a modern city and every luxury of a first class hotel 
 can be found aboard the Lusitania. Even those who 
 may be used to earthquake countries can sit in the smok- 
 ing room and enjoy all the comforts of home, for the 
 
110 HOW I DID EUKOPE 
 
 vibration is a very good imitation of a temblor in good 
 working order. 
 
 The official log says we left Liverpool at 7:24 p. m., 
 November 2nd, and I take it for granted that it was so. 
 A general look around and a setting of things here and 
 there in the cabin, and the story of the first night on 
 board is told. 
 
 We arrived at Queenstown at 6:57 a. m., by the log. 
 The bumb-boat women came aboard, with laces and orna- 
 ments of bog oak, postal cards and shillalahas. We also 
 took on some passengers, the mail and telegrams. I got 
 one letter and five telegrams, conveying good wishes from 
 our friends for a pleasant voyage, and at 11:34 a. m. 
 passed Daunt 's rock and were fairly started on the of- 
 ficial trip. 
 
 I find that, including the crew, we are 2864 souls 
 I think that is the correct expression, and means saved 
 and unsaved. In the salon there are 442, and I began to 
 take a general observation of the other 441 millionaires, 
 multi and otherwise. They averaged up pretty well and 
 manjr of them looked almost human. 
 
 I had heard that corporations were soulless and million- 
 aires were shy on hearts, and as a large number of the 
 passengers were representatives of one or both, I thought 
 I would observe them closely, and am satisfied that they 
 are largely constituted like the ordinary person who 
 possesses only a paltry few hundred thousand dollars. 
 A Sir Somebody, and the Lord Knowswho, both passen- 
 gers, walked and talked like other people, and never 
 intimated once that the rest of us only lived by their 
 permission, and the unyielding propensity of the ultra- 
 wealthy was not in evidence, for when we ran into a 
 storm some of them acted just like a very poor person 
 would, and yielded up all they had, and so I have come to 
 this conclusion, that take the ordinary millionaire or lo- 
 cal celebrity and place him on board the Lusitania, or 
 on the streets of a large home or foreign city, and the 
 greatness of his importance disappears, not only in the 
 eyes of the general observer but in his own. 
 
 The general arrangement for the care of the passengers 
 is excellent. First your bath in the morning, your fruit 
 or coffee, or both, soon after; get your morning paper 
 and after reading the news of the world, sometimes read- 
 
AND HOW IT DID ME 111 
 
 ing of events before the time they happened, from a day 
 and hour point of view. 
 
 You breakfast about nine, or later, at a little round 
 table at which from 4 to 7 can sit, according to arrange- 
 ment. After breakfast you walk, read, lounge, smoke or 
 get sick, just as it happens. About half past ten or eleven 
 beef tea and other things of like character are served. 
 You may take them, reject or eject them at will. Lunch 
 is served at one. More walks, etc. Late in the afternoon 
 some more confidence restorer is passed around. This 
 keeps you from starving till seven, when more ballast is 
 taken in the shape of soups and salads, and, should the 
 pangs of hunger make you yearn for another square 
 meal, you can be accommodated by pushing the button 
 in your cabin and the steward or stewardess will pro- 
 cure you anything you crave, from Mrs. Winslow's 
 soothing syrup to hard boiled eggs. After this you re- 
 tire for the night or till called for, depending on the 
 weather. 
 
 This is a fair sample of one day on board, but it can be 
 varied, weather permitting. 
 
 A lack of striking individuality in this aggregation of 
 wealth and social activity bars the possibility of selecting 
 any one with any particular characteristic, and, indeed, 
 I considered it an evidence of good level-headedness on 
 the part of the passengers that no one in particular be- 
 haved in such a manner as to attract attention or invite 
 criticisms. 
 
 The grey hounds of the ocean, as these boats are called, 
 make the trip in such short time, that the forming of ac- 
 inaintances, let alone friendships, becomes more or less 
 the exception than the rule. Then the large number 
 carried, the size of the boat, the number of decks, of 
 lounging, smoking, reading and writing rooms, almost 
 preclude the probability of meeting each other, except 
 by arrangement, and it is only when an occasion like the 
 storm we ran into on the night of Wednesday, which 
 continued until late Thursday evening, that the indi- 
 vidual faces seem to strike you more distinctly. They 
 are fewer, and the storm seems to draw together those 
 who have not been drawn apart. 
 
 This particular storm reached its height in the after- 
 noon of Thursday, and it was all that could be desired. 
 
112 HOW I DID EUROPE 
 
 It tested the Lusitania and the passengers. Quite a num- 
 ber made almost as good a showing as the vessel. We 
 happened to be among the lucky ones. On the main deck 
 toward the stern, and, where the division between the 
 first and second class passengers is made, the end is 
 open, like the end of an observation car, only on a much 
 larger scale. This is the palm garden, and here we sat 
 and enjoyed the storm. Knowing the safety of the boat, 
 and our dinner, we watched the waves break over the 
 ship, or toss her about as if she were the merest life boat. 
 I found a point from which I could see her dip into the 
 water after having mounted a wave, and it looked as if 
 she would continue on her downward course; then a 
 quivering and a shivering like a dog shaking himself 
 after coming out of the water, and up she would come, 
 until you would almost think the wind would blow under 
 her keel. 
 
 It certainly was one of the grandest sights I ever be- 
 held. The wind and waves doing their level best, as if 
 to show this queen of the ocean that a couple of the gods 
 were still doing business at the same old stand; but the 
 gods got tired and the queen of the ocean came out tri- 
 umphant, but not without some scars in the shape of 
 twisted iron and broken windows. 
 
 We arrived alongside the wharf at New York in the 
 forenoon of Friday, and waited on board for a short time 
 to avoid the rush and the waiting for baggage examina- 
 tion. 
 
 Finally we concluded to go ashore and get a carrige. 
 I took my wife to the hotel, and went back to attend to 
 the custom house business. On landing, we were pleased 
 to find waiting to welcome us to New York, one of our 
 mess mates of the Princess Irene, in the person of the 
 wife of my "puzzle," who has long since ceased to be so. 
 We drove to the hotel. I left the ladies to talk over their 
 travels, our passage, the breaking of the record, and my- 
 self. After getting the porter from the hotel and ar- 
 ranging for a wagon, I drove back to the wharf, found 
 my things all arranged in a pile. I got an inspector who 
 happened to know that I didn't have anything dutiable, 
 and, while doing his whole duty, did not make an un- 
 
.AND HOW IT DID ME 113 
 
 necessary "bull in a china shop" of our effects. 
 
 I then left the hotel porter in charge and went back to 
 the hotel. 
 
 When I arrived, it just occurred to me that I had for- 
 gotten to note the change in my temperature when I 
 landed and saw old glory, and least there should be any 
 doubt about it, I immediately proceeded to the bar, told 
 the man to make it straight, and then, on second thought, 
 added a little water ; mixed it as it were to the stars and 
 stripes and the union jack of old England. 
 
 Now Friend Dick: 
 
 I intend visiting Washington, Philadelphia, Niagara, 
 Buffalo and Chicago for a day or so at each place. I will 
 not send you any more writing, but will telegraph you 
 when to expect me. 
 
 In the meantime, if a place is convenient, and some of 
 the boys are around, just take one with your glad-to-be- 
 back-again old friend. 
 
 JIM. 
 

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