621 
 .P27 
 
 LIFORNIA, SAN DIEGO 
 
 3 182202727 1337 
 
 
 3MOIR 
 
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS
 
 AN DIEGO 
 
 1822 027271337
 
 MEMOIR 
 
 OF 
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 
 
 PUBLISHED FOR THE BENEFIT OF 
 
 THE CAMBRIDGE HOSPITAL. 
 
 BOSTON: 
 LITTLE, BROWN, AND CO. 
 
 1880.
 
 Copyright, 1880, 
 BY TIIEOPHILUS PARSONS. 
 
 UNIVERSITY PRESS. 
 JOHN WILSON AND SON. CAMBRIDGE.
 
 NOTE. 
 
 DURING the late war, my daughter served in the 
 military hospitals of Fort Schuyler in New York ; 
 Lawson Hospital in St. Louis ; ou a hospital steamer on 
 the Mississippi, from St. Louis to Vicksburg ; and in 
 Benton Barracks Hospital in St. Louis, from Octo- 
 ber, 1862, to August, 1864. This Memoir consists 
 mainly of letters which she wrote from those places. 
 It was prepared only for private distribution among 
 her friends, with no intention of sale or publication. 
 
 N, 
 
 But the letters contain many details of hospital life, 
 and of incidents of the war connected with them ; and 
 they who have read them think the book may have 
 some interest beyond that which arises from a personal 
 regard for the writer of the letters. An earnest effort 
 
 O t 
 
 is about to be made to establish, upon a permanent 
 foundation, the Cambridge Hospital, instituted by her 
 in 1867 ; and I have been urged, by those whose opi- 
 nions I am bound to respect, and who are foremost in 
 that effort, to permit the publication of the book for the 
 benefit of the Hospital. 
 
 THEOPHILUS PARSONS.
 
 MEMOIR 
 
 OP 
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 
 
 could be farther from the wishes, 
 the tastes or habits of my daughter Emily, 
 than an effort to magnify the events of her life 
 into undue importance, or to found upon them 
 claims for unusual regard. But she had some pe- 
 culiar traits of character, and some unusual oppor- 
 tunities for usefulness, in connection with the 
 civil war, of which this brief and simple record 
 may be interesting to the friends for whom alone 
 it is intended. 
 
 She was born March 8, 1824, and died May 19, 
 1880. 
 
 From her childhood she manifested more than 
 common energy, and a disposition to earnest and 
 persistent activity. But this natural tendency was 
 combated and suppressed, to a large extent, by
 
 2 MEMOIR OF 
 
 many physical hindrances. These were so oppres- 
 sive that they who knew best what she did, and 
 under what disadvantages she labored, could not 
 but be surprised that she was able to accomplish so 
 much. But she never seemed to yield to dispirit- 
 ing circumstances ; or, indeed, to obstacles which 
 it was possible to overcome. 
 
 When about five years old she ran a sharp pair 
 of scissors into the pupil of her right eye. The 
 wound soon healed, but the iris and the lenses 
 were badly torn, and the eye, though not much 
 disfigured, was so much injured that she was en- 
 tirely unable to make any use of it. A sympathy 
 with the wounded eye, or, perhaps, the extra work 
 thrown upon the other eye, weakened it, so that 
 she never had that unimpeded sight that they 
 have who possess healthy organs. 
 
 When seven years old, she was extremely ill 
 with scarlet-fever. The disease left her totally 
 deaf. From this she gradually recovered, and in 
 adult life was able to hear whatever was distinctly 
 addressed to her, but could not join freely in gen- 
 eral conversation. 
 
 When about twenty-five years old, she injured 
 an ankle very severely, breaking some of the 
 cords. It was exceedingly painful, and for some
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 3 
 
 time she made no use of her foot. It gradually 
 grew better, but never entirely well ; and' she was 
 under medical treatment for it at brief intervals 
 during her life. She could and did walk a great 
 deal, seldom complaining, although the pain and 
 weakness sometimes compelled entire rest. But 
 she suffered much from lameness, and when obliged 
 to stand or walk for a long time continuously, the 
 pain compelled a temporary abstinence from all 
 use of the foot. But as long f as it was possible to 
 discharge her duties, she did so, regardless of the 
 suffering, and yielding to it only upon strict com- 
 pulsion. 
 
 Npne of these hindrances, nor all of them to- 
 gether, prevented her from doing all in her power 
 to relieve the suffering of any whom she could 
 reach. This seemed to be her prevailing purpose. 
 She had only the opportunities which offer them- 
 selves to unmarried women who seek for them, un- 
 til in 1861 the war of the Rebellion broke out. 
 She at once declared her desire to enlist in the 
 army as a nurse. I confess that I yielded to her 
 wishes with great reluctance ; for it seemed to me 
 that her blindness, deafness and lameness, offered 
 obstacles to her usefulness as a hospital nurse which 
 could not be overcome. But her wishes were too
 
 4 MEMOIR OF 
 
 strong to be resisted. She knew the difficulties 
 under which she labored, but earnestly desired to 
 make the effort and do as much as she could. She 
 was advised by those who knew, that there was an 
 abundance of willing but uninstructed service of 
 this kind offering ; and she attended the Massachu- 
 setts Hospital, in Boston, as a volunteer nurse, 
 sleeping at home, but passing her days in the hos- 
 pital. There she was kindly received by the 
 whole medical staff, and carefully instructed in 
 such work as might be required of her in the duty 
 she proposed to undertake. She remained more 
 than a year, until she was assured that she was 
 entirely competent to do useful work as a nurse in 
 a military hospital. Then she volunteered in that 
 capacity. 
 
 She was at once appointed to the hospital at 
 Fort Schuyler, near New York, and left home 
 for that hospital Oct. 15, 1862. Under the la- 
 bor and exposure of the post, her health broke 
 down, and in the beginning of 1863 she went 
 to New York, visiting a friend. In a few weeks 
 she was summoned, somewhat urgently, to St. 
 Louis. Without any delay, she went at once 
 from New York to St. Louis, and reached that 
 city on Jan. 26, 1863. The hospital there, called
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 5 
 
 the Lawson Hospital, was one of the largest 
 military hospitals in the country. She was at 
 once appointed a nurse in that hospital. Here 
 she remained but a few weeks, when she was 
 asked to take charge of the nursing department 
 on board a large steamer, which was to go down 
 the Mississippi to bring up the sick and wound- 
 ed to the hospitals. On February 12, 1863, she 
 started down the river, and went as far as Vicks- 
 burg, where the conflict was then going on. She 
 returned in about a month to St. Louis. There 
 she was at once attacked by malarial fever, con- 
 tracted on Che river. She was quite ill for a con- 
 siderable time, and her letters, when she was able 
 to write, bear the strongest testimony to the ex- 
 ceeding kindness and tenderness with which she 
 was treated at the house of a stranger who had 
 become a friend. 
 
 When she recovered her health, she was as- 
 signed to the great hospital in St. Louis, called the 
 Benton Barracks Hospital, and was placed at once 
 in charge of the whole nursing department of this 
 hospital, which was prepared at first for two thou- 
 sand patients, and later, for twenty-five hundred. 
 
 I was then, and am now, wholly unable to ac- 
 count for this. I can explain it only on the sup-
 
 C MEMOIR OF 
 
 position that, at the breaking out of the war, this 
 country had no experience which prepared our cit- 
 izens for the work of war. Multitudes of impor- 
 tant and arduous offices, both in the army and out 
 of it, were to be filled ; and they who had the ap- 
 pointing power could only make the best use they 
 could of the material offered them, and judge of it 
 as well as they could by the evidence they had. 
 Some of these appointments were successful, and 
 others were not. It will be my effort to exhibit, 
 mainly from my daughter's letters, what duties 
 were assigned to her, and in what way she dis- 
 charged them. 
 
 She remained in that post until late in 1803, 
 when she was again attacked with malarial fever, 
 and was so ill that it was thought necessary for her 
 to return home. She came home, recovered her 
 health, and in March, 1864, returned to St. Louis. 
 She resumed her post in the hospital, and re- 
 mained there until late in the autumn of that 
 year, when she was again attacked with malarial 
 disease, and finally returned home. 
 
 During the years she passed in St. Louis, her 
 family received many letters from her. In the 
 midst of her work it seemed to comfort her to 
 communicate with her distant home, which she had
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 7 
 
 never left before. I have found it very difficult 
 to choose such parts of these letters as it would be 
 well to print. Of course, of some of them the 
 whole, and of all a large part, relate to family 
 and home matters, which there is no reason for 
 printing. I am very doubtful whether the selection 
 I have made is a wise one. To me they are all in- 
 teresting ; but I cannot expect them to be so to oth- 
 ers. I have been guided in my final choice by what 
 I have already said is the purpose of this sketch. 
 That is, I have selected only parts of such letters 
 as seem to me to exhibit the work she did, and the 
 manner in which she did it. What I print, I 
 print just as it was written, for I wished it to re- 
 main obvious that these letters were written with- 
 out the slightest thought of their ever meeting 
 other eyes than those for which they were written. 
 I have omitted nothing more unwillingly than 
 the letters in which she often expresses her grate- 
 ful acknowledgment, not merely of the universal 
 kindness she met with from all with whom she had 
 any relations in St. Louis, but of the tender and 
 constant care bestowed upon her, when she most 
 needed it, by those who took her, a stranger, to 
 their homes when sick, and made her feel indeed 
 at home there. Gentlemen like Mr. Yeatman, so
 
 8 MEMOIR OF 
 
 well known through the country for his services in 
 the Sanitary Commission, and Mr. Hasard, the 
 President of that Commission, under whose direc- 
 tion she was, and whom she was constantly meet- 
 ing, held it to be their duty to take good care of 
 her. Not content with this, they spared no oppor- 
 tunities of manifesting the most constant, careful, 
 and considerate attention to everything which 
 could conduce to her comfort, and, indeed, to all 
 her wants and wishes. 
 
 I have already mentioned some of the obstacles 
 to my daughter's usefulness. She had, however, 
 two characteristics which must have been helpful. 
 One was great fearlessness. Very seldom did I 
 know her to manifest fear of anything. This 
 must have made it easier for her to encounter 
 some of the risks to which she was called upon to 
 expose herself. Another useful quality was the 
 entire absence of what is called nervousness. There 
 are ladies who shrink from the sight of blood, and 
 some who faint at even hearing of it. So far as I 
 know, my daughter had no weakness of this kind, 
 but faced at once wounds however ghastly, or as- 
 sisted at surgical operations^ without shrinking or 
 tremor, and was never disturbed by the sight of 
 death.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. . 9 
 
 On the whole, I should infer from her letters 
 that she was successful in her work. But I have 
 other evidence of this, of a kind which may be 
 more satisfactory. Miss Sophia Knight, of Boston, 
 a friend of my daughter, and a most intelligent lady, 
 requested of her an opportunity to be of service, 
 and joined her at Benton Barracks, and was there 
 for some six months in 1864. In a letter to me 
 she says, 
 
 " In speaking with me of your daughter, which he 
 often did, Dr. Russell expressed very full appreciation 
 of the rare combination of zeal and executive ability 
 which she evinced throughout her services in the large 
 hospital, of which he was surgeon in charge. Her 
 self-forgetfulness and watchfulness, her readiness in 
 emergencies, her successful accomplishment of wise 
 and useful plans, also the promptness of her measures 
 against anything leading toward disorder, seemed 
 wonderful to him." 
 
 Mr. Yeatman of St. Louis, to whom I have al- 
 ready alluded, and who was widely known and will 
 be long remembered for his devotion to his most 
 important duties during the war, writes me as 
 follows : 
 
 " The hospital was under the charge of Dr. Ira Rus- 
 sell, a very liberal and enlightened physician from
 
 10 MEMOIR OF 
 
 Massachusetts. Of all the nurses who entered the ser- 
 vice in the AYesteru department, your daughter was the 
 only one previously trained and educated for the duties 
 she assumed. She organized her corps of nurses, having 
 been appointed supervisor, and went systematically to 
 work to train the band of noble women who came with 
 willing hands and hearts, but entirely without experi- 
 ence for the work. She succeeded admirably iu her 
 work, and we had no hospital in the Western depart- 
 ment where nursing was brought to so great perfec- 
 tion. She continued iu this position until stricken 
 down by disease in August, 1864. During her sick- 
 ness, while confined to bed, she continued to have 
 the nurses report directly to her each day for advice 
 and instruction. Her heart, mind, and body were 
 given to her work, and she could rarely, if ever, be in- 
 duced to seek relief or recreation outside of the hos- 
 pital grounds. In connection with the Benton Bar- 
 racks was the Refugee Hospital and the Freedman's 
 Hospital, which she was in the habit of visiting and 
 of rendering such service there as she was capable of 
 performing. She was a true and generous Christian 
 philanthropist, embracing all, of every race, sex, and 
 condition, never sparing herself. 
 
 " My duties in connection with the Western Sani- 
 tary Commission brought me frequently in contact (al- 
 most daily when in the city), with your daughter, and 
 so I am capable of bearing testimony to the fidelity 
 and ability with which she discharged her duties."
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. . 11 
 
 In 1867 was published in Philadelphia an oc- 
 tavo volume entitled " Woman's Work in the War." 
 It contains sketches of the lives of a great number 
 of women from all parts of the Northern States, 
 who were of service in the war. It is, so far as I 
 know, accurate ; and it seems surprisingly so, con- 
 sidering the large number of those concerning 
 whom exact inquiry had to be made. A glance at 
 the book shows that the records of different hos- 
 pitals were examined and other sources of informa- 
 tion made use of. Emily E. Parsons is one of 
 those spoken of. I quote from the notice of her, 
 the following extracts. 
 
 After stating her decided wish to volunteer in 
 the war, this notice goes on, thus : 
 
 " With her father's approval she consulted with Dr. 
 Wyman, of Cambridge, how she could acquire the 
 necessary instruction and training to perform the du- 
 ties of a skilful nurse in the hospitals. Through his 
 influence with Dr. Shaw, the Superintendent of the 
 Massachusetts General Hospital, she was received into 
 that institution as a pupil in the work of caring for 
 the sick, in the dressing of wounds, in the preparation 
 of diet for invalids, and in all that pertains to a well- 
 regulated hospital. She was thoroughly and carefully 
 instructed by the surgeons of the hospital, all of 
 whom took great interest in fitting her for the im-
 
 12 MEMOIR OF 
 
 portant duties she proposed to undertake, and gave her 
 every opportunity to practise, with her own hands, the 
 labors of a good hospital nurse. Dr. Warren and Dr. 
 Townshend, two distinguished surgeons, took special 
 pains to give her all necessary information and the 
 most thorough instruction. At the end of one year 
 and a half of combined teaching and practice, she was 
 recommended by Dr. Townshend to Fort Schuyler 
 Hospital, on Long Island Sound, where she went in 
 October, 1862, and for two months performed the 
 duties of hospital nurse, in the most faithful and satis- 
 factory manner." 
 
 After describing h'er service in that and another 
 hospital the book goes on : 
 
 " She was needed for a still more important service, 
 and was placed as head nurse on the hospital steamer 
 " City of Alton," Surgeon Turner in charge. A large 
 supply of sanitary stores were entrusted to her care by 
 the Western Sanitary Commission, and the steamer 
 proceeded to Vicksburg, where she was loaded with 
 about four hundred invalid soldiers, many of them sick 
 past recovery, and returned as far as Memphis. On 
 this trip the strength and endurance of Miss Parsons 
 were tried to the utmost, and the ministrations of her- 
 self and her associates to the poor, helpless, and suffer- 
 ing men, several of whom died on the passage up the 
 river, were constant and unremitting. . . . 
 
 " For a few weeks after her return to St. Louis, she
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 13 
 
 suffered from an attack of malarial fever, and on her 
 recovery was assigned to duty at the Benton Barracks 
 Hospital, the largest of all the hospitals in St. Louis, 
 
 built out of the amphitheatre and other buildings in 
 the Fair Grounds of the St. Louis Agricultural Society, 
 
 and placed in charge of Surgeon Ira Russell, an ex- 
 cellent physician from Natick, Mass. In this large 
 hospital there were often two thousand patients. . . . 
 
 " It was the duty of the nurses to attend to the 
 special diet of the feebler patients, to see that the 
 wards were kept in order, the beds properly made, 
 the dressing of wounds properly done, to minister to 
 the wants of the patients, and to give them words of 
 good cheer, both by reading and conversation soft- 
 ening the rougher treatment and manners of the male 
 nurses by their presence, and performing the more 
 delicate offices of kindness that are natural to women. 
 
 " In this important and useful service these nurses, 
 many of them having but little experience, needed one 
 .of their own number of superior knowledge, judgment, 
 and experience, to supervise their work, counsel and 
 advise with them, instruct them in their duties, secure 
 obedience to every necessary regulation, and good 
 order in the general administration of this important 
 branch of hospital service. For this position Miss 
 Parsons was most admirably fitted, and discharged its 
 duties with great fidelity and success for many months, 
 
 as long as Dr. Russell continued in charge of the 
 hospital. 
 
 " The whole work of female nursing was reduced to
 
 14 MEMOIR OF 
 
 a perfect system, and the nurses under Miss Parsons 
 influence became a sisterhood of noble women, per- 
 forming a great and loving service to the maimed and 
 suffering defenders of their country. In the organiza- 
 tion of this system, and the framing of wise rules for 
 carrying it into effect, Dr. Russell and Mr. Yeatman 
 lent their counsel and assistance, and Dr. Russell, as 
 the chief surgeon, entertained those enlightened and 
 liberal views which gave the system a full chance to 
 accomplish the best results. Under his administra- 
 tion, and Miss Parsons' superintendence of the nurs- 
 ing, the Benton Barracks Hospital became famous for 
 its excellence, and the rapid recovery of the patients." 
 
 On June 18, 1864, my daughter was notified to 
 attend a meeting of the medical staff of the hos- 
 pital. She attended, expecting nothing unusual, 
 and took her customary place. As soon as the staff 
 was assembled, Drs. May and Russell rose, and Dr. 
 May made an address to her, closing as follows : 
 
 " The value of your individual services during this 
 rebellion will not be unappreciated by the recipients 
 of your kindness. These services have been rendered 
 over a broad extent of country, in hospitals, and at 
 Vicksburg during the memorable siege, when pesti- 
 lence and death were hourly presented to your view. 
 No one can appreciate your services better than the 
 medical staff with whom you have labored, and the 
 patients of this hospital. Our association has been of
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 15 
 
 long duration and of the most pleasant * character. 
 Thousands have left here who will associate with 
 your name some of the most pleasant recollections of 
 the past. 
 
 " Dr. Russell then said to her, ' I have the honor 
 this evening in behalf of the medical staff whom I 
 represent, to present to you this goblet as a slight, 
 but sincere token of our appreciation of your services, 
 and to beg you to accept the same.' " 
 
 This goblet, or vase, was of silver, lined with gold, 
 and beautiful in form and workmanship. She 
 brought it home, showed it to her parents, brothers, 
 and sisters, then locked it up and kept it locked 
 up. I have been able to find, among her intimate 
 friends, but one who ever saw it. I believe no 
 one else out of her own family ever saw it ; and 
 of her cousins and many friends I have found 
 one or two only who ever heard of it. Her 
 brother, "t^harles Chauncey Parsons, was absent 
 from home, in the army, at the time she re- 
 turned. He is sitting by me as I write, and tells 
 me he never saw the vase, and never heard 01 
 it until to-day. 
 
 I think this circumstance illustrates one trait 
 in her character. She very seldom referred in any 
 way to any of her past services, and I never heard
 
 16 MEMOIR OF 
 
 from her one word in relation to them, or to any 
 of her work, which has the slightest flavor of dis- 
 play or self-ascription. 
 
 I now quote again from the book already referred 
 to, " Woman's Work in the War " : 
 
 " She continued till August, 1864, when her health 
 again failed, and she returned to her home in Cam- 
 bridge. On recovering her health she concluded to 
 enter upon the same work in the Eastern department, 
 but the return of peace and the disbanding of a large 
 portion of the army rendered her services in the hos- 
 pitals no longer necessary. 
 
 "From this time she devoted herself at home to 
 working for the freedmen and refugees, collecting 
 clothing and garden-seeds for them, many boxes of 
 which she shipped to the Western Sanitary Commis- 
 sion, at St. Louis, to be distributed in the Mississippi 
 Valley, where they were greatly needed, and were 
 received as a blessing from the Lord, by the poor refu- 
 gees and freedmen, who in many instances were with- 
 out the means to help themselves, or to buy seed for 
 the next year's planting. 
 
 " In the spring of 1865, she took a great interest in 
 the Sanitary Fair, held at Chicago, collected many 
 valuable gifts for it, and was sent for by the Committee 
 of Arrangements to go out as one of the managers of 
 the department furnished^ by the New Jerusalem 
 church the different churches having separate de- 
 partments in the Fair. This duty she fulfilled, with
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAKSONS. 17 
 
 great pleasure and success, and the general results of 
 the Fair were all that could be desired." 
 
 " In concluding this sketch of the labors of Miss Par- 
 sons in the care and nursing of our sick and wounded 
 soldiers, and in the sanitary and other benevolent 
 enterprises called forth by the war, it is but just to 
 say that, in every position she occupied, she performed 
 her part with judgment and fidelity, and always brought 
 to her work a spirit animated by the highest motives, 
 and strengthened by communion with the Infinite 
 Spirit from whom all love and wisdom come to aid 
 and bless the children of men. Everywhere as she 
 went among the sick and suffering, she brought the 
 sunshine of a cheerful and loving heart, beaming from 
 a countenance expressive of kindness and good-will and 
 sympathy to all." 
 
 " Her presence in the hospital was always a blessing, 
 and cheered and comforted many a despondent heart, 
 and compensated in some degree, for the absence of 
 the loved ones at home." 
 
 I will now let her letters speak for themselves. 
 I begin with those sent home from Fort Schuyler. 
 There are but a few of them, and I give extracts, 
 more or less copious, from every one of these.
 
 18 MEMOIR OF 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 FORT SCHCYLER HOSPITAL, 
 October 22. 
 
 DEAR SISTER SABRA, I thought you and my family 
 woald like to know my whereabouts. We have still 
 only four hundred men. Yesterday I came down here 
 and took charge of a ward of forty-eight men and four 
 attendants. Think of finding yourself all at once at 
 the head of such a family. I came here, in the morn- 
 ing and immediately commenced work. I should not 
 think the ward had been thoroughly cleaned since it 
 was occupied, for they have only had orderlies here, and 
 the hea.d surgeon wished me to take charge at once. 
 It is very large ; will receive fifty -eight beds if neces- 
 sary. I had a general rectification, baskets of bandages 
 and lint and surgical matters put in order for the 
 surgeon, stoves put in order, taught my orderlies 
 how to make beds, &c. This morning I had my 
 whole ward swept out, under beds, in corners, and 
 everywhere, my beds properly made &c; then in comes 
 the surgeon and assistant; I attend them, see that they 
 have what is needed and assist if necessary ; this is my 
 hard hour, it is so hard to see the poor men suffer ; oh 
 those horrid probes ! Then, when all this is through, 
 the surgeon writes out his diet and medical orders in 
 two books, which I keep. My day begins early, reveille 
 at six, I must be up before to get beds made, ward
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 19 
 
 swept out, dressings attended to, and wounds unban- 
 daged and washed ready for the surgeon's inspection, 
 and whatever he chooses to do. He comes at half-past 
 eight. This morning the head surgeon of the hospital 
 appeared, and after an examination, informed me that 
 my ward was the nicest looking one in the whole 
 hospital. 
 
 Monday. I am now going to try to finish my letter; 
 this is the first time I have found time, unless I drove 
 fearfully, and hardly then. We have new arrangements 
 now ; I think I will give you my day's routine. First, 
 up early ; one of my orderlies sweeps down the ward, 
 the two others take, one each side of the ward, and 
 make the beds, at which I must assist if I want the 
 ward ready in time. Before it is quite done the 
 orderly who goes for breakfast leaves with another 
 dining-room orderly ; I work on, breakfast comes, one 
 kind for those sick in the ward, and the other, house- 
 rations for the rest of my men and the orderlies. One 
 of the attendants has set out the plates on the dresser 
 which runs round the first room, dining-room it is 
 called. I prepare on plates the breakfast for each man 
 on sick-rations according to the rules the Doctor has 
 written out in his order-book for me. A good while 
 previous to each meal I must send down the order for 
 it, signed with my name and ward. 
 
 I am matron of Ward 6 ; I have at present forty-five 
 children, besides my orderlies, who require a tight hand 
 kept over them. Some of them will leave soon and 
 the ward be filled up to its full number; probably, the
 
 20 MEMOIR OF 
 
 surgeon said, with bad cases ; my ward has the worst 
 cases in it now that are here, with the exception of one 
 or two elsewhere. I like the surgeon very much who 
 attends to this ward ; he is very skilful, firm, and at the 
 same time gentle and kind as possible. He is a thorough 
 gentleman, to my great delight; the rest of the doctors 
 are gentlemanly, pleasant men. As my ward has so 
 many bad cases it is uncommonly interesting ; there- 
 fore a group of them generally meet here, with more 
 satisfaction to themselves than to the patients, I think. 
 After breakfast, I see to the finishing up of the ward. 
 My doctor is fearfully particular. Just as I began to 
 write about him, I heard a tap, and there he was, for 
 his night report ; he is a very handsome man, tall and 
 dignified. 
 
 Tuesday niyht. I had to stop last night to attend to 
 my children. When the ward is in order I get ready 
 for the surgeon, see that the baskets containing various 
 applications and dressings and the table the Doctor 
 uses are standing in a particular place in the ward ; 
 the basins with sponges and the pails with hot and 
 cold water in their places. I have barely time to do 
 this before in marches the Doctor, at nine o'clock ; then 
 he writes down his prescriptions and diet list for the 
 day in his two books, as he visits the patients, then he 
 hands me the books ; I am attending him all the time 
 like a white shadow ; that is a part of my duty. Then 
 the surgical work commences i oh! with all his kind- 
 ness, the Doctor is firm as a rock, and everything has 
 to be gone through with. The other day he was almost
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 21 
 
 four hours getting through ; he is not always so long. 
 Then I write off my dinner-orders, send them, give out 
 medicines ; then some other items ; all the while the 
 surgeon is in the ward I must be in attendance, to 
 assist or wait upon him. Then dinner ; my patients 
 are divided into two classes ; those who are well enough 
 to dine in the dining-room on house-rations, and those 
 who dine in the ward on different diets ; to the latter 
 I give out dinner according to the Doctor's orders in 
 the diet list. After dinner, I have some housekeeping 
 matters to see to ; yesterday, counting out the linen 
 for forty-five men. This time is supposed to be passed 
 by me in recreation. This afternoon I had a house- 
 cleaning of the deepest dye. I found a whiskey bottle 
 under one bed, apple pie on a table, both delinquencies ; 
 if the whiskey bottle could have been traced home, the 
 owner would probably have been put under arrest. 
 The Doctor was desirous to have the beds arranged in 
 a particular manner, and I worked till I could hardly 
 stand to get it done; after it was all finished, he 
 walked in ; he took a look down the long ward, and 
 then turned to me with a most approving expression. 
 I have work to do constantly in this way. I make out 
 my supper-lists in the afternoon and send them before 
 five. I send my men for supper, then give it out as I 
 do the other meals ; after supper, see that the patients 
 are attended to properly; then take the surgical 
 baskets, put them in order, roll up bandages and make 
 new. My bandage roller is in constant use ; I arrange 
 everything exactly in its place ; my surgeon seems to
 
 22 MEMOIR OF 
 
 rely upon my order and readiness a good deal. The 
 other night I was awoke about one or two in the morn- 
 ing, to supply him with powders he wanted for another 
 ward ; I had them right at hand. In the evening I 
 have to see that the dressings the Doctor ordered have 
 been properly performed or do them myself, and see 
 after the many wants of my children ; so my men 
 seem to me. The Doctor generally makes me a fare- 
 well visit about nine o'clock. The officer of the day 
 also looks in upon me, and I report to him about 
 anything he wishes to know. All this routine takes 
 in a quantity of minor matters. I am writing in the 
 evening because I cannot find time in the day ; per- 
 haps I shall to-morrow. I must go to. bed now. 
 
 Thursday afternoon. I hope you will make allow- 
 ance for the hurried way in which my letters are written, 
 and not be astonished if the writing and spelling are a 
 little peculiar; my head is almost beside itself with all 
 that it has to think of. I have given you but a dis- 
 tant idea of all that I have to look after, ivalk after and 
 bear the responsibility of. This morning I had to as- 
 sist the surgeon in some very painful duties ; one man 
 fairly cried ; I felt when the Doctor left as if my nerves 
 were all on edge. Yesterday I had two cases sent to 
 me from the operating room ; one came first ; I had him 
 all washed, the head properly bandaged and the man 
 in bed, and the bed ready for the other one, the band- 
 ages and bowl and sponges atso, before Number Two 
 appeared with the Doctor. The Doctor cast a very 
 approving look round, and I went right to work to at-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 23 
 
 tend to the new one. The Doctor trusted me enough 
 to send me Number One without coming himself, though 
 it was the first time I have had an operation of any 
 extent here. It came very natural. The Doctor was 
 fairly benignant when he left. I feel all the time afraid 
 of failure, of not coming up to the mark. My chamber, 
 in one corner, is ten feet by seven and one-half; I have 
 it all to myself at night; in the day time it is an actual 
 office for surgeons, patients and everybody else to 
 come to ; the nurse's room in a ward generally is. I 
 have a narrow iron bedstead, a small table, a looking- 
 glass, my upright tub, which same is an immense com- 
 fort, my trunk and valise, two pails of water, a chair 
 and a wash bowl ; behold my furniture. The build- 
 ing is not yet finished, and it is nothing but rough 
 boards, to be plastered some time in the dim future. I 
 have pine plank shelves in my room, and on them are 
 kept the medicines, bowl of surgeon's sponges, stores 
 of different kinds, all belonging to the nurse's depart- 
 ment. 
 
 One of my orderlies is in the guard-house to-day. 
 My ward has, I believe, the best surgeon except the 
 head of all, and I do not know but as good as he. He 
 just now told me, with a very beaming face, that he 
 expected to have some very heavy cases in. I hope he 
 will be happy ! 
 
 Friday afternoon. I have a great many wants to 
 reply to and meet. The other night, as I thought all 
 was done, one poor fellow had neuralgia in his arm, 
 and I was obliged to rub it for a long time before he
 
 24 MEMOIR OF 
 
 was relieved. I have a great many things to do for 
 the welfare of the patients in that way. One poor 
 fellow cried like a child this morning under the sur- 
 geon's hands, and it was a long time before I could 
 comfort him. At night the surgeon goes to the fort 
 to sleep, and I am left with the guardianship of all these 
 men. I have a night watcher, but he is not a nurse. 
 I felt a little anxious the other day, or rather night, 
 when I had two cases just from operation, to say noth- 
 ing of the others. 
 
 To-day was grand inspection day, and such a day ! 
 In the first place, the Doctors were coming in the 
 middle of the morning, and the ward had to be in a 
 state of supernatural order by that time ; all the dress- 
 ings done and patients by the side of their beds. Oh, 
 the getting ready ! I confided my state of mind to the 
 surgeon as we were working together, and he agreed 
 with me ; that was some comfort. At the proper time 
 the door opens and the whole surgical and medical staff 
 walk inside, and, standing at the head of the ward, the 
 head of the hospital, Dr. Bartholomew, reads the roll- 
 call, the men reply ; inspection of the ward follows ; I 
 had nothing to do but receive a very profound bow and 
 reply to that same. I felt perfectly exhausted by the 
 time all was over, the preparations had been so fatigu- 
 ing. This lovely day comes once a week ; this is 
 general inspection, particular inspection is at eleven 
 o'clock, Sundays ! It is a queer place. 
 
 I made a funny mistake the other day. The men 
 are very fond of showing me the pictures of their wives
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAESONS. 25 
 
 and babies ; I was passing a bed lately and saw among 
 the articles my patient was arranging, an ambrotype 
 case. I took it up supposing it might be his wife ; 
 it was a very pretty girl's picture ; I said, " This is your 
 wife, is it not ? " the poor fellow turned redder than red 
 and said no, it was not his wife ! but looking so 
 sheepishly happy all the while it was easy to tell what 
 she was. I put it down and turned the subject imme- 
 diately ; he seemed to consider me rather in the light 
 of a confidential friend afterwards. 
 
 There are many things that are trying in this way 
 of life, but they are inseparable from it and must be 
 accepted as such. I did not expect it would be couleur 
 de rose when I came, and one cannot expect in making 
 the voyage of life always to meet with fair weather. 
 Our Master did not, and what right have we to ? It is a 
 great deal to be thankful for when he gives us some 
 work to do for Him, only we have to be very careful 
 how we do it, careful to do His will first of all. I have 
 just been reading the words in Isaiah, " the shadow of 
 a great rock in a weary land," and the thought that we 
 can always rest under the shadow of that rock is a 
 great comfort. One of my men has been dangerously 
 ill ; when he was better, but could not sit up, I read to 
 him in the Psalms one evening ; he seemed very much 
 pleased, and the next morning his hand was out to meet 
 mine before I could get to it. He will get well now, 
 but it was a narrow escape with him. I have a great 
 variety in my ward ; one belligerent individual is under 
 arrest, and I have to see that he does not go out of
 
 26 MEMOIR OF 
 
 doors ; a slight addition to the rest of my cares. He 
 did go to-day and I was obliged to report him. 
 
 Please write to me and mention every detail, and 
 what you are going to do, so that I can imagine you 
 doing it when the time comes ; it takes away from the 
 lonely feeling. I do not want ideas, my head has so 
 many new ones it is nearly beside itself. I want facts, 
 I wish you would give my love to those of my friends 
 who are kind enough to remember me. I wish some 
 of them would write. Be sure and tell me how mother 
 looks, I never knew before how much I loved her. 
 
 You must excuse the style of my letters, for they are 
 written among many interruptions. It is nearly ten 
 now. I have just been through my ward and visited 
 every bed. As I arranged one boy whom I stood by 
 in his pain yesterday morning, he looked up at me 
 with such a loving look, it made me think of his far 
 off mother. They feel what is done for them very 
 much, sometimes. I must go to bed now and get rest 
 for the morning work. My feet ache, but I expect 
 they will get used to it. 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 FORT SCIIUYLER HOSPITAL, 
 November 1. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, It is evening ; I am obliged to 
 write now, for I have no time in the day, as a general 
 thing, nor much at night. To-day my ward was washed
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 27 
 
 from one end to the other ; I superintend and assist 
 in various ways ; just think of moving fifty-one beds 
 out and in again ! After supper I had to give out 
 clean under-clothing to all the patients. I wonder 
 what a mother, who thinks it is something to look after 
 two or three, would say to forty-four ; I said so to one 
 of my patients ; the idea, differently expressed, amused 
 him. I am told that the ward will be filled to its ut- 
 most capacity presently. There are fifty-one beds in 
 it now, and there can be more, though I hope not ; 
 fifty-one wounded men are about enough for one ward. 
 Several of the forty-four now here are convalescent, 
 but some suffer very much. I go round at night see- 
 ing to them, covering them up, and the other night 
 I came to one poor boy, badly wounded and sick ; as 
 I laid the clothes over him he half opened his eyes to 
 see who it was, and when he saw me, gave such a 
 pleasant smile it quite went to my heart ; he laid his 
 head down again as if entirely satisfied. He does not 
 get well very fast, and I am afraid he is going to have 
 more trouble. His wound is a musket-shot in the 
 shoulder, and the Doctor is obliged to take out pieces 
 of diseased bone or splinters of bone : I dread the 
 sight of the instruments; he is a mere boy. They 
 seem so much pleased when they wake and find me 
 bending over them, it is not much I can do, but that 
 is something. These wounds are trying to the poor 
 fellows. I have all sorts of characters, and several 
 nations in my ward. The Doctor came to my door 
 just now to make his night's tour among the patients ;
 
 28 MEMOIR OF 
 
 I attend him, candle in hand. My ward is now arranged 
 for the night, and I am going to make my last round. 
 
 Sunday Morning. My ward is all in order, waiting 
 for the inspectors who are performing operations else- 
 where. After it was in order I sat down and read a 
 little while ; now I am writing for a few minutes. I 
 do not want anything done on Sundays that can be 
 helped ; that is the reason I am able to sit down a 
 little while. 
 
 The Doctor spoke hopefully of my worst case this 
 morning, and I am now in hopes he will save his arm, 
 but he suffers a great deal ; this morning, when I was 
 washing it for the surgeon to apply the dressings, he 
 could hardly bear the sponge, the arm was so sensitive ; 
 three ball-shots through it. He is very patient and 
 good ; I took him some Cologne the other day and it 
 refreshed him very much. Mrs. Sampson Reed and 
 Mrs. Worcester asked me to apply to them for what I 
 needed ; will you ask them if they would like to send 
 me some Cologne water ; when the men are faint and 
 sick after the surgeon has left them, it is very refresh- 
 ing. I have sent my orderlies for dinner, and am 
 expecting it every minute. 
 
 Afternoon. Instead of dinner, they sent me two 
 cases from the operating room ; they put a damper 
 on my dinner. The poor fellows are quiet now, con- 
 sidering what they have gone through. One of them 
 was suffering extremely ; a fever-heat had come on in 
 the wounded arm ; I put a cold water compress on, and 
 in a few minutes he felt better, and then fell asleep ;
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 29 
 
 BO I sat by him to keep the flies off, and presently 
 in came the surgeon. I had to assist him in dress- 
 ing one of the men, then he left, and the work went 
 on. I feel very much afraid of failing at some point, 
 it is such a responsibility, and, as one of the ladies 
 remarked to me, we were never " out at service " be- 
 fore. I have two charming friends here, Miss Spauld- 
 ing and Miss Mary Hill. I enjoy them very much; they 
 are the only friends I have here with whom I have any 
 intimacy ; I am so busy that I have no time to go out 
 to see any one, so they come to see me, when they can. 
 I have plenty of fresh air from windows and doors, to 
 say nothing of cracks which are to be boarded in by 
 and by. My dinner consists of government soup, 
 bread, and perhaps a little rice, or sometimes there are 
 more Isabella grapes than my patients can eat. Break- 
 fast and supper, bread and milk ; my breakfast has to 
 be taken in such a hurry that I do not eat more than 
 is necessary. I take supper a little more leisurely. 
 You have hardly a conception of the wants of a ward 
 full of patients. And then the ward has to be kept in 
 such a state of order, the beds must all be made after 
 one particular order and pattern ; then they must all 
 be EXACTLY in a line or my surgeon finds it out ; he 
 stands at one end of the ward and looks down, if one 
 bed is in the least projecting an orderly has to fly 
 down and push it in. Then they every now and then 
 find some new way of making the beds a little more 
 symmetrical than the previous ; I have been taught my 
 third arrangement to-day. Imagine arranging tho
 
 30 MEMOIR OF 
 
 covers of forty-four beds. As my Doctor is a man of 
 genius he may think of another way before the week 
 is out. Some of the men make their own beds, but I 
 have to arrange them afterwards, also examine them 
 in search of contraband articles of food under the 
 pillows ; I found a quantity of cheese under one. The 
 Doctor immediately confiscated it in great indignation, 
 it not being good for sick people. Close by me is Miss 
 Spaulding's ward ; between her Doctor and mine is quite 
 a rivalry as to which ward looks the best. We do not 
 care an atom, and so we have a good deal of amusement 
 over it. The two doctors survey each other's wards, 
 and then each declares his own the best looking. I 
 have not had time to see my friend's yet, but am 
 going some day ; in the mean time she comes in and 
 reports to me the remarks of our two housekeepers, 
 as we call them. 
 
 We are having a very high wind, and the barn-like 
 building rocks like a cradle, or rather creaks like one. 
 We had a tempest the other day and night ; my friends 
 asked me the next day if I was not afraid the building 
 would blow over ; I told them, no, I did not think 
 that anything would be allowed to happen to so many 
 helpless people; so I slept in peace, feeling that they 
 took care of me and I of them, under Higher Power.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 31 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 FOET SCHUYLER HOSPITAL, 
 
 November 8. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER,. I hoped to have continued my 
 journal this week, but it has not been possible. Early 
 in the week I had a new patient, a young man who 
 had reamputation of the arm performed on Sunday. 
 He was brought into my ward as it was more comfort- 
 able than the one he was in ; he was so ill that there was 
 little chance of his life ; you may imagine the charge 
 he was to me : all the day I kept in the ward either 
 directly nursing him or keeping my eye on him while 
 about my work ; in the evening sat by his side till re- 
 lieved by the watcher who took charge of him during 
 the night ; so all my writing time was taken. 
 
 I am the only nurse in the ward, so that when the 
 surgeon was not in, the case fell on me. I allowed no 
 one else to touch his bed or his food ; the surgeon 
 sometimes pours out his porter, but it is handed me to 
 give. He is doing well now, though great care is neces- 
 sary ; I am writing near his bed. They will not let 
 me work day and night both, so at ten I am ordered 
 off to bed. I have been fighting the weather lately. 
 The snow came in at the open slats on the roof, and we 
 were nearly frozen, and wet into the bargain. I grew 
 desperate, and when the ward-master came in, insisted 
 upon something being done. I got possession of a ladder, 
 one of my men mounted up, tied slats together, and
 
 32 MEMOIR OF 
 
 wmmd up by nailing one of my sheets, torn in strips, 
 over crevices that could be stopped in no other way ; 
 we finally got ahead of the deluge, and I commenced 
 drying bed clothes by instalments round the stoves ; 
 by half-past-nine, evening, they were mostly dry, and 
 the floor of the ward drying also. I went about all day 
 in my water-proof cloak, hood over my head ; I wear 
 my india-rubber shoes all the time to help keep my 
 poor feet warm. We are not warm, for there are so 
 many cracks in these unfinished buildings that a regi- 
 ment of stoves could hardly make them really warm. 
 I only wish the contractor had been here the other day ; 
 I would have put him under the biggest hole. My 
 health is good, so I conclude this primitive way of life 
 suits me ; at any rate, I shall stay by my sick men 
 while I can. If it is right for me to be here I shall 
 have strength given me. My little spirit-lamp is a 
 great comfort to me ; when I boil my milk over it, 
 it warms me a good deal : I also heat up tepid bowls 
 of government soup. If you have another box to 
 come to me, please send me some more alcohol, and, 
 also, may I have your white aprons, unless you would 
 prefer making me some, I have not enough to keep 
 clean. The box arrived to-day ; I wanted to embrace 
 it. I fell into a rapture over the bandages, they 
 are beauties. Somebody sent me some Scripture carda 
 and pictures ; the men were very much pleased with 
 them ; I shall give them the books to-morrow. My 
 candlesticks are loves, I have one on the table now. 
 We want bandages more than anything except old
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAKSONS. 33 
 
 linen and cotton, we cannot have too much of that ; 
 squares of linen or old damask, hemmed for pocket-hand- 
 kerchiefs, are very acceptable ; the soldiers are very glad 
 of a clean handkerchief at hand. I hoped to have 
 written to-morrow, but I am to have three operation 
 cases to attend to. The poor fellows dread it ; I have 
 been trying to give them comfort ; two are rather bad 
 cases. To-moiTow is inspection day also, as my sur- 
 geon reminded me to-night ; he says he is coming at 
 eight o'clock. 
 
 I am within two yards of a stove and am cold ; one 
 of the surgeons agreed with me to-day that we would 
 never, never go to the North Pole. I did so enjoy 
 your letter to-night ; if you knew the pleasure it gave 
 you would write often and tell me what you are going to 
 do, so that then I may imagine you. I was assisting 
 the surgeon when your letter came ; I was so glad when 
 I was able to sit down and read it. Sarah came to 
 see me this week and brought me some flannel shirts 
 for my men. I was very thankful for them ; I went 
 round that cold stormy day putting them on my men : 
 I have to help the poor lame fellows to dress. 
 
 I hope these buildings will be finished up soon. I 
 have sent all my men to bed and am waiting the visit 
 of the surgeon, and then to bed, I hope. 
 
 Tuesday. I am now trying to finish my letter. We 
 did not have operations on Sunday on account of the 
 chilly rain, some of which penetrated through ; thanks 
 to my energetic efforts on Saturday, not much. To- 
 day is lovely quite mild, and the patients able to go 
 
 3
 
 34 MEMOIR OF 
 
 out in the sunshine and smoke their darling, horrid 
 pipes. 
 
 This morning we were ordered to prepare for an 
 inspection by the surgeon-general of the State. After 
 being made nearly frantic by the efforts to be in 
 wonderful order he never came ! My very sick patient 
 is a little better, I have just been washing his face and 
 one poor hand. I asked him when I had done, if he 
 felt any better, " Oh yes," he replied, with such a grate- 
 ful look. I take the whole care of him, except dress- 
 ing the wound ; I wait upon the surgeon, and assist, 
 if necessary. I sit by him all the evening; he was vei'y 
 restless last evening ; I stroked his hand and his hair, 
 and quieted him at intervals, but he did not get much 
 quieter till the Doctor came and gave him morphine. 
 He is obliged to take morphine every night. 
 
 I love my ward better and better ; and if some 
 things are rough and trying, why that is a reason for 
 staying and trying to make them better, not for run* 
 ning away. It would be poor soldiering to run when 
 the enemy appeared. 
 
 I lose several of my patients this week; three go 
 back to the regiments ; six others go home, too much 
 disabled to fight any more. I hope my ward will not 
 be filled up till all the carpenter-work is done, the 
 noise is so trying to patients. The mos't useful width for 
 bandages is one and three-fourths inches, two and a half 
 inches, three inches, the two and a half most used ; 
 we do not use thread lint, but a good deal of that 
 scraped with a knife ; squares of old linen for handker-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PABSONS. 35 
 
 chiefs are useful. The slippers you sent are very 
 useful ; they are on the feet of two wearers who ad- 
 mire them very much. 
 
 Evening. I have had such a piece of work this 
 evening ! my three ward stoves taken down and two 
 much better ones put up in their place ; consequently, 
 a new arrangement of beds, which I could not put off 
 till morning ; it is all right now, and the Doctor has 
 just been in and expressed his admiration. I am 
 finishing my letter, and then must go to bed, as my 
 night-watch has orders to call me at quarter before six ; 
 when I come home, I am going to sleep for a week 
 steady ; I have perhaps enough sleep now, but I am 
 obliged to improve my time to get it. The bugle has 
 just sounded, and I am going the round of my beds. 
 Good night, dear mother. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 FORT SCHTTTLER HOSPITAL, 
 
 November 25. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I hope to be able to write a few 
 lines to you to-night. I opened the box yesterday, it 
 was lovely ; my^rderlies opened it for me ; to pay them 
 I gave each a pair of brilliant slippers. They sailed 
 down the ward, and in about a minute I heard patter, 
 patter, and my door was surrounded by applicants to 
 know if I had any slippers to spare 1 Very soon the
 
 36 MEMOIR OF 
 
 slippers had gone. I want you to tell the ladies that 
 they must make their shoes smaller; the men have small 
 feet. If the ladies are inclined to make any more, I 
 shall be very thankful for them. I told you of my 
 friend, Miss Spaulding ; our doctors fraternize as we do, 
 so in the afternoon in comes her Doctor. I show him 
 my bandages, he ejaculates, " Splendid ! " I share them 
 with him, giving him a large box ; also some cologne. 
 Please thank Mrs. Reed for the cologne and bay-water. 
 All the other articles were lovely in my eyes, even the 
 corkscrew. I kissed your dear markings on my sheets. 
 I am so glad you marked them. You speak of past- 
 ing up cracks, that would involve lining the whole 
 building. It is composed of one layer of planking, not 
 perfectly joined anywhere, and the ventilators in the 
 roof so imperfect that we were deluged and snowed on ; 
 the water literally ran in the wards. Last week, I think 
 on Friday night, I was obliged to get up in the night, 
 put on my wrapper and call my night-watch to help 
 move my bed round because I was being rained on, I 
 being really sick with an influenza at the time ; and in 
 the morning I had to jump up because it was raining 
 where I had moved to, and I so ill I could hardly get 
 up at all. You have no conception what I have been 
 putting up with here ; but my health has been quite, 
 indeed, very good till this cold came: I am getting 
 well fast, and we move in a day or two into a nicely 
 finished ward, or I would not have told you of the state 
 of things ; Clytie (her dog) would not have gone to bed 
 in such a place. I trust our new place will be water-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 37 
 
 tight ; if it is not, I shall set up a tub, like the philos- 
 opher of old. If I had known what I was to meet, I 
 should not have felt equal to the encounter. I am 
 glad I have done it, for I know now what I can live 
 through. Some of the ladies expressed it : "Any one who 
 has been at Fort Schuyler Hospital can bear anything." 
 Now, as far as weather is concerned, I think we shall 
 do well. 
 
 The responsibility of my ward is very heavy ; my 
 surgeon is a very good surgeon and physician, who has 
 temporarily left his practice, like many others, in order 
 to see and attend to cases which only 'occur in time 
 of war, and are very interesting to the faculty. This 
 ensures to the soldiers the advantage of as good at- 
 tendance, in many instances, as they would have in 
 the city. The surgeon of this ward is a strict discipli- 
 narian, and very pleasant also ; so we get along nicely. 
 He has expressed (to others) his satisfaction with me 
 very decidedly. I hope I shall be able to go on doing 
 my work. I have a great deal of control over my 
 men ; they are a very good set, on the whole. I am 
 sitting on the foot of one of the beds near the stove, 
 quietly writing. I wonder whether I have been led 
 to my future vocation for this life that of a Sister of 
 Charity ; if it is so, I hope I shall be of comfort to some- 
 body and many bodies. There are a great many trying 
 and a great many pleasant things about it ; there is 
 one good thing, it gives one plenty to do. I owe letters 
 to many friends. Please thank them all very heartily 
 for me and give them much love, and say I would have
 
 38 MEMOIR OF 
 
 written iu answer if I had time ; letters are very pre- 
 cious here. 
 
 I think my new ward will be very pleasant as far as 
 warmth is concerned. It will be neater-looking than 
 this. I am very thankful for the candles you sent me, 
 without them I should not know what to do. Candles 
 are one of the things they economize upon here, and 
 we do not have half enough. I am obliged to dress by 
 candle-light, as the ward is not ready for the Doctor 
 unless I am to the fore ; my night-watch has orders to 
 call me at a quarter before six. It would be very 
 pleasant to see the sun rise over the water, if I had 
 time to look out. But I must hurry and dress, for I 
 have to start a good many wheels. 1 give medicines 
 three times a day; the first time is before breakfast, and 
 that is early. My medicine glasses are invaluable, in 
 use several times a day ; as for my bandage-roller, I do 
 not know what I should do without it. I am some 
 times obliged to alter the bandages sent, and also to 
 make a number of the different widths called for by 
 different cases. I wish, if the ladies are not tired of 
 the subject, they would make me some more of the 
 widths I wrote for in my letter a week or so since. 
 There is one thing we are in great want of, that is, 
 old linen or cotton, old underclothes for instance, I 
 can tear off all the parts that are good for anything. 
 
 Saturday evening. I will try now and finish my 
 letter. On Thursday, the ladies of Westchester gave a 
 Thanksgiving dinner to all the patients, six hundred 
 and fifty men in all. There is a large building nearly
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 39 
 
 finished, for the use of the officers of the Hospital ; the 
 partitions were not yet up on the ground floor and they 
 could therefore use it -as a great dining-room. My new 
 ward is Ward 3, Section C. We moved yesterday. Oh 
 dear ! was I not tired when I went to bed, all in order, 
 floors washed, beds made, patients attended to. The 
 ward is neat and water-tight ; rather an odd recommen- 
 dation in a house, but a necessary one here. This 
 coming week we expect one thousand wounded ; I shall 
 then have sixty men in my ward, its full complement. 
 I hope I shall be able to keep on doing my duty. I 
 had no idea one had to give up and go through so 
 much to become a Sister of Charity ; I have great re- 
 spect for all who do it rightly. 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 FORT SCHUYLER HOSPITAL, 
 December 7. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, This letter will not go till the 
 middle of the week. I have the ward all ready for 
 inspection, Sunday afternoon being the day for that 
 interesting ceremony. My surgeon told me this morn- 
 ing that six hundred wounded men were on their way 
 here from Washington and the steamer was due to-day. 
 He also said that this ward would be filled up ; they 
 may arrive any moment, or not till to-morrow. I want 
 to have the poor men in bed comfortably. Just think 
 of tossing about on the waves in a crowded steamer
 
 40 MEMOIR OF 
 
 such a day as this, sick and wounded too. It was very 
 cold here this morning, water froze in my room and I 
 nearly froze too ; we are promised small stoves in our 
 rooms, some time. In the meantime we shiver. 
 
 I suppose there will be some severe cases among the 
 new arrivals, and I shall probably have some of the 
 worst in my ward ; as the surgeon of it is a very fine 
 one he has those cases. I wish you would thank the 
 ladies for the articles they sent me ; I was so glad to 
 have clean pocket-handkerchiefs for the men. Please 
 tell the ladies if they could only look in upon a wai'd 
 and see the comfort these small things give it would 
 encourage them in all their work. The soldiers were 
 very much pleased with the handkerchiefs Mrs. New- 
 ell's little daughter hemmed. I told them about her 
 doing the work : they were much interested, and I saw 
 them examining the stitches with great interest. My 
 friends are very kind to remember me in my absence 
 so well ; such kindly thoughts help one on and take 
 away a little of the lonely feeling that will come at times. 
 It is an odd life, living so entirely among men. 
 Only once in a while when we nurses have time we see 
 each other for a few minutes. At first, it seemed to 
 me that I must wake up and find it a dream ; now, it 
 is as if my former life lay away back, out of my reach, 
 and this was my real life. I felt afraid lately that my 
 physical strength would not hold out. I was so ill with 
 influenza that I could hardly, sit up, and while in that 
 condition I had to carry on the affairs of a surgical 
 ward ; no light task at any time. I am not quite well
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 41 
 
 yet, and when I found myself nearly frozen and not 
 well this morning my heart misgave me as to the pos- 
 sibility of my bearing up under it ; but I felt a little 
 better presently, and then came the news of these new 
 arrivals to be, and I thought I would stay while I could, 
 and appeared to give satisfaction to the surgeon. If my 
 health does fail me I can come home then. I think I shall 
 be helped to stay, one way and another ; I have noticed 
 one thing since I have been here that no trial has 
 been permitted to be more than I could bear ; it has 
 always been lightened at what seemed to be the last 
 moment, or else, I have been taken care of in some 
 wholly unexpected way ; so I remember this and take 
 courage, and try to go on. You remember, I suppose, 
 that the day you were here I was taking care of a man 
 shot in some kind of quarrel with his Captain; I do not 
 know the circumstances, but the man is one of those 
 characters you read of among the lower classes ; I 
 should think a regular rough. As he gains a little 
 strength he does not improve on acquaintance very 
 much, though he may have some good things that one 
 would like. I had to reprove him for swearing to-day. 
 I told him never to use such a word again while in the 
 ward, for I would not have it. I suppose I shall have 
 all sorts of characters to deal with. I have had very 
 nice men thus far. They, for the most part begin the 
 day by reading their Bibles. The very sick man I was 
 speaking of was very glad to have me read the Bible to 
 him. He asked me the other night to read him the 
 fifteenth chapter of Luke; it treats of the return of the
 
 42 MEMOIR OF 
 
 prodigal son ; he seemed to feel it a good deal ; he ap- 
 pears grateful for what I have done for him. I do not 
 know whether he will recover or not ; he has the con- 
 stant thirst that accompanies gun-shot wounds, and we 
 are obliged to feed him with milk or water every few 
 minutes, night and day. I do not sit up with him 
 during the night, as the surgeon seemed to think I had 
 better not, and, till it is necessary I do not mean to, as 
 my day work is enough for me. Sixteen hours of wake- 
 ful responsibility, and a good deal of the time, if not all 
 of it, doing work, is enough for a woman, I think. It 
 is evening now, and the men have not come. Think of 
 them tossing about another night ! How they must 
 be suffering ! My men are quiet around the ward, and 
 I am by the sick man writing and keeping watch, the 
 light is dim. I have thought of so many things I 
 wanted to say to you and had no time for. I have not 
 heard a word about Thanksgiving, I believe the family 
 have forgotten me. If they do not write me a long 
 letter soon I shall be furious. Tell me all sorts of 
 little things. I dreamed the other night I was at 
 home. I believe I was unpacking and putting my 
 room in order. I should not wonder if it was many 
 a month before I did the latter. Is it cold with you 1 
 I want to know all about it. 
 
 My daughter's health and strength soon after 
 failed so much that it was apparent both to her- 
 self and to the surgeons of the hospital that she 
 must leave it at least for a time. She did so, and
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAESONS. 43 
 
 visited a friend in the city of New York. We 
 wrote*to her, advising, perhaps urging, her to give 
 up the idea of being a nurse in a military hospital. 
 She replied in a letter from which I make the 
 following extracts. 
 
 NEW YORK, January 4. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, Colonel Frank Howe is very de- 
 sirous I should be at work among the wounded, so is 
 Dr. Harris, the inspector of hospitals here, and I 
 believe in some other places. These two gentlemen 
 have shown themselves very kind and friendly towards 
 me. They expressed very earnestly, both to me and 
 to others, their desire to put me in what they con- 
 sider a suitable field of action, or, as they express 
 it, where I shall be of most use. They really 
 seem to consider me of some value; they are both 
 trying together, and I leave the matter in their hands, 
 as they are two men who can be trusted, with regard 
 to their integrity, honor and a desire to serve the 
 soldiers in the best and wisest mauner ; and they are 
 very considerate also of me, so you have reason to 
 be satisfied. I have good, judicious friends around me 
 on all sides. They can do what only officials can do 
 and they spare me contact with red tape, for which I 
 desire to be thankful. 
 
 My life at Fort Schuyler suited me in many respects, 
 and I hope to lead sxibstantially the same life else- 
 where. To have a ward full of sick men under my 
 care is all I ask ; I should like to live so all the rest
 
 44 MEMOIR OF 
 
 of my life. Do not you be anxious about me, but 
 wait quietly and patiently. 
 
 I am going to send you the report of Colonel Howe's 
 establishment. He gave me a copy of it the other day 
 and I am sure it will interest you. He took me all 
 over his establishment, telling me how he lived there 
 and about his work; I wish you could have heard him ; 
 the men seemed to love him so, it is beautiful to see 
 him among them. I wish you to show the reports I 
 send to the ladies, as I think they will be interested 
 in them ; they are the accounts of most admirable 
 institutions. In my old ward most of ray men began 
 the day with their Bibles, and these Bibles had been 
 almost all of them given to them. The good that is 
 being done now is perfectly beautiful. 
 
 I have done my work, and I think I have done it 
 pretty well too. It is the opinion of most of those 
 who are now over these things that the ladies who do 
 them voluntarily do them better than hired nurses, 
 and they like to secure our services. If I had not suc- 
 ceeded pretty well at Fort Schuyler, Dr. Bartholomew 
 would never have said, " that he would do almost any- 
 thing rather than have Miss Parsons go." This speech 
 is not for everybody, for it would seem egotistical, but 
 I want you should know it. I expect to work for the 
 soldiers some way or other, soon, I hope. Do not talk 
 about my plans, but keep quiet and remember one 
 thing ; I am in the army just as Chauncy is, and I must 
 be held to work just as he is ; you would never think of 
 requesting he might not be sent on picket duty because
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 45 
 
 it was hard work. This same hard work is the condi- 
 tion on which I have either mental or bodily health. A 
 week ago the surgeon in whose ward I was so long at 
 Fort Schuyler, came to see me and told me about my 
 old patients. One of them in whom I was much in- 
 terested had died, leaving a family. 
 
 She remained in New York some three weeks, 
 when her health seemed to be re-established. 
 She became acquainted with Mrs. Fremont, who 
 was endeavoring to supply the personal needs 
 of the military hospitals in St. Louis, and who 
 wrote to persons then in charge of those hospitals 
 concerning my daughter. The reply was an urgent 
 request that Emily should go there at once. And 
 I then received from my daughter a letter from 
 which I make the following extracts. One of 
 them refers to an agency connected with work for 
 the army which she could do at home, which 
 agency was offered to me for her. 
 
 NEW YORK, January 22. 
 
 DEAR FATHER, I await the answer to a telegram 
 which I sent you, asking your consent to my going to 
 St. Louis. I feel bound to accept the position offered 
 me. Mrs. Fremont and the people in St. Louis are 
 holding this place open for me. The extreme dis- 
 tance will be an objection to you, but in the work to 
 which I have pledged myself there can be no such
 
 46 MEMOIR OF 
 
 limit as time or space. I received your letter relative 
 to the agency this morning ; it is out of the question 
 my undertaking such a work, I am not fitted for it. 
 This St. Louis opportunity gives me what I can do, 
 and wish to do, and I believe it to be my only chance 
 for just what I could wish. My journey on will be 
 cared for in every way. If in your telegraphic answer 
 you have discouraged my going, or have not decided 
 at all, I wish you w r ould send me a message by tele- 
 graph at once, granting consent. St. Louis is very 
 healthy. I am to see Mrs. Fremont this morning 
 by appointment ; she expresses herself to Captain 
 Nichols as very desirous I should go. She says there 
 are no experienced, trained nurses there, and there is 
 a great want of them. 
 
 P.S. Tell mother not to be anxious, but trustful. 
 
 I wrote, giving my consent, although reluctantly ; 
 for her experience at Fort Schuyler had rather 
 confirmed my fears that she was not strong enough 
 for the work she desired to do. The condition of 
 affairs at St. Louis was not encouraging. There 
 had been, and indeed still was, severe fighting all 
 down the Mississippi, and especially at Vicksburg 
 and Arkansas Post, whence the sick and wounded 
 were brought, in great numbers, to be cared for at 
 St. Louis. Every available building in that city 
 was converted into a hospital, and supplied with a
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 47 
 
 medical staff and a corps of nurses, and all other 
 necessary arrangements were made as rapidly as 
 possible. But at present these arrangements were 
 incomplete. The only decided advantage which 
 St. Louis had over Fort Schuyler was in the 
 climate. It was the exposure to the sea-winds 
 which proved to be more than Emily could bear. 
 But while the failure of her health and strength 
 at Fort Schuyler had taught her that there were 
 limits to her capacity of endurance, they had not 
 changed her belief that in work of this kind she 
 could best discharge her duty ; nor had they weak- 
 ened her determination to find such work some- 
 where. There was much in the position at St. 
 Louis which commended itself to her. She doubted 
 with good reason, whether any opportunity would 
 be offered to her, open to less objection ; and on the 
 whole decided to go there. Having come to this 
 conclusion, she yielded to what seemed to be the 
 urgency of the case, and left New York before she 
 received my answer to her letter. The next letter 
 her mother received from her was written in pencil, 
 at Crestline, on the way to St. Louis. I give it 
 only to show, that however strong were her desire 
 and purpose to continue in the use she had chosen 
 and entered upon, she was neither wilful nor ob- 
 stinate about it.
 
 48 MEMOIE OF 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 HOTEL AT CRESTLINE, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, If you think at any time that 
 father would be happier to have me at home, or that 
 it is best for me to be there, you must let me know, 
 and I will do what you say. I hope I shall be guided 
 to do what is right. 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 LAWSON HOSPITAL, ST. Louis, 
 January 10. 
 
 DARLING MOTHER, I have received your last let- 
 ter, and glad enough was I to get it ; it was delicious ; 
 you would write twice a week, if you knew what a 
 longing I had for home news. I want to know every- 
 thing abotit everybody. And now for my news ; I am 
 going to Dixie ! Mr. Hasard came here day before 
 yesterday and asked me if I would go down the river 
 in the boat that was going to bring back the sick and 
 wounded from places along the river, Vicksburg, I be- 
 lieve, and other places. He wished me to go to take 
 charge of the other nurses, and of the liueu-room, as 
 it is called, that is, the place where supplies of differ- 
 ent kinds are kept, and see to their giving out. The 
 principal reason he said he wanted me, was as a
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 49 
 
 trained surgical nurse. On coming up the river with 
 the wounded, there are not enough surgeons or nurses 
 to take care of all, and he wanted me, as I could dress 
 wounds and nurse, to go for that reason. He said he 
 thought I should do a great deal of good in that way. 
 He had evidently made up his mind about it. I 
 asked him what the surgeon who goes in charge of 
 the boat thought of it ; he said that he wanted me to 
 go. This surgeon is a very fine one, I am told. It 
 is necessary he should be, as the post is a most re- 
 sponsible one. I told Mr. Hasard I would do what 
 he and Dr. Alexander, the head surgeon here, thought 
 was best ; I wished to do what was right in the matter. 
 The result was, that Dr. A. said that he would let me 
 go if he could have an experienced nurse sent him in 
 my place ; this Mr. Hasard engaged to do. Mr. Has- 
 ard is President of the Commission in which I am en- 
 listed, and orders all such things. He has been very 
 kind to me ; so, I probably shall start in the " City of 
 Alton," and go down the river. I did not think it right 
 to refuse ; and, indeed, I could not very well. My sur- 
 geons both say they are sorry to have me go. One of 
 them told me to-night that my men told him I had 
 been like a mother to them ; they do not want me to 
 leave them ; but Mr. Hasard said that it was very diffi- 
 cult to find a competent person to do what he wished 
 me to do, and he thought I should be of great use as 
 a nurse. I told him I was almost afraid I should not 
 be able to do as well as he wished. He replied that, 
 if he had not felt that I was the very person for the
 
 50 MEMOIR OF 
 
 work, he should not have placed me in such a position. 
 What will happen to me next I do not know ; but, if 
 they suggest my going to California, I shall respectfully 
 decline. 
 
 I have been busy in my ward lately, I have been 
 watching by death-beds. Some of my men have died, 
 they were so badly wounded. One of the last things 
 one of them said was to call for me ; the surgeon had 
 sent me to do something for himself a few minutes 
 before. Two of them talked to me about their death 
 before they went ; they were very quiet and peaceful. 
 They died in the night after I had left thorn ; I cannot 
 sit up all night, for I must rest for the next day. The 
 night I sat by my men I had not my full night's rest. 
 I must go to bed now, for it is late. I wish I could 
 write all night to you, darling. 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 LAWSOX HOSPITAL, ST. Louis, 
 January 29. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have a few minutes to give to 
 you. I am well except a head cold. Yesterday the 
 wounded arrived from the battle of Arkansas Post, and 
 some other fight. Thirty -one men were brought into 
 my ward on stretchers, one "more in the arms of the 
 men : not one can leave his bed. I was in the ward to
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. . 51 
 
 receive them. They seemed so glad to see me. As I 
 was giviiig one a glass of water, another bent over and 
 said, " It is real cheery now, to have a woman come 
 round one, it seems like home." The hard hands 
 clasped mine so gratefully. One poor fellow cannot 
 feed himself; as I was giving him his supper he 
 stopped to say, " God bless you ! " He is so good and 
 patient. As I went round the first day they turned to 
 look at me as if they were longing to see a woman's 
 face. There is one man who never catches my eye 
 without a smile ready for me ; he has lost one hand. 
 We expect more men. 
 
 Mr. Hasard sent me a note yesterday, I opened it ; 
 it was my commission as nurse in the Western Sanitary 
 Commission on board the steamship " City of Alton." 
 I felt fairly caught. The head surgeon here could not 
 quite understand my coming out here (I don't myself). 
 He told Dr. Eliot, "These Yankees did astonish him 
 every day "; he contemplated me with a sort of mild 
 surprise. 
 
 Oh, the water here ! you cannot see through a 
 tumbler of it ; the Father of Waters is muddy in pro- 
 portion to his celebrity. 
 
 Catch me thinking there is any place like home ! 
 I must go and look after my men now, so good-night.
 
 02 MEMOIE OF 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 LAWSON HOSPITAL, ST. Louis, 
 February 1, 1863. 
 
 I told some of my men to-night, when I was giving 
 them their supper, that I had more children than the 
 old woman in the shoe, and they were diverted at the 
 idea. My life here is unlike anything I ever thought 
 of. The head surgeon keeps asking me how I like it. 
 
 I told him I was getting used to it My men 
 
 are so pleasant, and they seem to like to have me 
 among them so much. This evening one poor fellow 
 was taken quite sick I did not happen to be in the 
 ward at the time ; and as soon as he was relieved he 
 sent for me to tell me all about it. He said, it was 
 good to have a woman about the ward, it made one 
 think of home. He lay there clasping my hand tight, 
 while he talked about home. Though I could give him 
 no bodily comfort, he seemed to feel better for seeing 
 me. I went to all the beds to see after them, it 
 seems hardly possible that a week ago I did not know 
 one of them. I am so tii-ed I must go to bed. I 
 am done up and sleepy, and must be up in time to 
 see that my men have breakfast at seven. If I ever 
 come back home, I shall sleep for a week.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 53 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 MISSISSIPPI RIVER, February 13, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I am going to keep a sort of a 
 journal for you. I was in the hospital yesterday, when 
 the door opened, and in walked Mr. Hasard to take me 
 to the boat. I got into the carriage, and found the 
 back seat strewn with articles for my comfort ; a pretty 
 scarf to tie over my head ; hospital manuals for my 
 edification ; a bottle of choice brandy, in case of need 
 among those on board, &c. He took me on board 
 and left me. Such a scene of confusion and dirt, and 
 soldiers ! The ship is built up in all sorts of ways, to 
 afford accommodation for the sick. We were obliged 
 to start while all was in confusion, in order to reach 
 the scene of action as soon as possible. If there should 
 be an engagement at present going on at Vicksburg, 
 we shall stop a little way above it. 
 
 The ship is getting into order. I have been in the lin- 
 en and supply room this morning. The doctor took 
 me there after breakfast ; installed me in such a scene 
 of confusion ! gave me the key with the advice not to 
 put things in order till he had sent up a quantity more ! 
 Last evening, after supper, we all assembled in a little 
 cabin in the stern of the ship : there were eight ladies. 
 I belong to the ship ; two others remain to nurse on 
 the passage up ; the rest are to be sent on other boats. 
 There were two or three gentlemen present with us. 
 At nine one of them, a clergyman, proposed having
 
 54 MEMOIR OF 
 
 prayers : he first read the 14th of John, then prayed 
 that we might be helped and guarded in the work 
 which lay before us, and have the Lord with us. It 
 was very solemn. I feel now as if I had really entered 
 into the inner spirit of the times, the feeling which 
 counts danger as nothing , but works straight on as 
 our Puritan forefathers worked before us. I do 
 not mean that / am anything heroic, but I am un- 
 derstanding what it is to be in the army. I never 
 before was among people who took it so seriously, be- 
 cause I never was where the war was around us, nor 
 ever before was going into the midst of it ; and this 
 makes us realize all that is at stake and what we are 
 doing. Self has to be put down more and more, and 
 the work before us must take complete possession of 
 our minds : this is not easy, but necessary. You have 
 no idea of the state of a military transport ship ; and, 
 when filled with sick and wounded, it will demand all 
 our energies to meet the difficulties in our way. We 
 expect to be about five days reaching Vicksburg ; we 
 are obliged to stop at the military posts in the way 
 and inquire into the state of the river, as the guerillas 
 are about. They attacked Island No. 10 again lately. 
 We shall pass it. How little I thought, when reading 
 the accounts of the battle there, that I should ever 
 sail by it ! 
 
 I write disjointed letters, for I am continually in- 
 terrupted, and many things in my mind. . . . 
 
 Tuesday. Our last orders are to go to Vicksburg. 
 We are now at Helena; look on the map and you
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 55 
 
 will see it. Imagine living in the midst of what "the 
 children call a " dirt pie," and you will have an idea of 
 the condition of the people ! We have several freed 
 slaves on board, freed by the act of our President. 
 One of the ladies heard them talking last night. One 
 of them said, " The Secesh are mighty smart, but these 
 folks are ketchin' up to 'em." Another came in with a 
 pair of creaking boots. " Ah, Jane," sung out one, 
 " your boots cry out of freedom." And so they keep 
 it up. They are under my direction, and a funny set 
 they are. I have an influenza, and the doctor ordered 
 me to keep quiet to-day, in order to be ready for work 
 by and by. So I am trying to do so. 
 
 Sunday. I have been quite sick since I wrote. The 
 climate brought on an attack, and the doctor ordered 
 me to my bed. I am now getting over it, and much 
 better ; but the doctor has told me to keep still for the 
 present, and one of the otheV ladies has gone into the 
 linen-room to take charge of the supplies there. It is 
 very cold there, and there can be no fire on account of 
 the risk. I shall probably confine myself to nursing 
 the rest of the time. The climate here is very trying 
 at first : I am getting used to it. We are in full sight 
 of Vicksburg, and have been watching the firing be- 
 tween the enemy and one of our gunboats. Our men 
 are cutting a canal to get at the enemy by land, and 
 the object of the enemy is to stop the proceeding ; so 
 they keep firing shells at our men, who are obliged to 
 stop work and run under cover ; and then, when the 
 shell has exploded, our boat fires back and occupies the
 
 56 MEMOIR OF 
 
 enemy for a little while, so that our men get some 
 work done. It is a curious sight to see a little cloud 
 hover in the air, and know that it is such an engine ; 
 it looks very pretty if you can forget for a minute what 
 it is. We look over at Vicksburg as you look at Bos- 
 ton from Brookline, and see it quite as well. It is 
 built on a hill rising up from the water, and has a very 
 pretty effect. We can see the breastworks distinctly, 
 long lines of red earth with cannon shining in the 
 sun. The Federal army are encamped around us, tents 
 away back among the trees, with causeways built up 
 to travel on. The mud is terrific ; I think it gi-ows. 
 I keep looking at my watch and wondering what you 
 are all doing : first, I thought of you at church, now 
 you are getting ready for dinner. I hope you are all 
 well and happy. I wonder what you have for din- 
 ner 
 
 Sunday iveek, Cairo. My letter was interrupted 
 by the arrival of the sick men. They were all sick, 
 there having been no battle yet. We took on board 
 about four hundred, many very sick ones. Between 
 twenty and thirty died in the few days they were on 
 board. They were mostly brought on board on stretch- 
 ers. I saw one poor fellow assisted on board by his 
 comrade ; he helped him to his bed, and then the two 
 rough men put their arms round each other, and with 
 the tears running down their cheeks kissed a good- 
 by as tenderly as two children. They neither knew 
 when they would see each other again. The sick one 
 told me afterwards, the other had been a real good
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 57 
 
 ". t 
 
 friend to him. There was another on board very ill 
 with typhoid fever; watching over him was a fine- 
 looking man. I was so struck by their feeling for each 
 other that I asked if they were old friends. They re- 
 plied that they had been comrades for several years, 
 they were old soldiers. You never saw any woman 
 more tender of another than the nurse was of his 
 friend ! it was perfectly beautiful. They all seemed to 
 feel for each other so much ! I was giving wine one 
 day to a dying man ; it was all he could take, and I 
 carried it to him every now and then as he needed it. 
 I thought once I was giving him more than he wanted, 
 and asked him if he wanted it all ; he looked up : 
 " Do you want to give part to another ? " all ready to 
 give up his last if another needed it. I told him why 
 I asked. I suppose he has gone home by this time. 
 They seemed willing to go. I went to one man to see 
 what I could do for him ; he was dying, and seemed in 
 distress, repeating " The Lord have mercy on me ! " 
 I leaned over him and repeated the Psalm, beginning, 
 " The Lord is my shepherd," I think it is the 23rd : 
 one of the verses is, " Though I walk through the val- 
 ley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for 
 Thou art with me." As I repeated it to him, he grew 
 quiet and peaceful, and his trouble seemed to pass 
 away : he died that night. 
 
 We started up river on Tuesday. When we left St. 
 Louis we expected to go back there, but the govern- 
 ment sent down word, or orders, that the sick should 
 be taken to Memphis, and the boat return to Vicksburg
 
 58 MEMOIR OF 
 
 either as a hospital boat or as was needed. Besides 
 the nurses detailed for the boat, six ladies came from 
 St. Louis with us, intending to return as nurses on 
 other boats ; but there were no other boats coming, so 
 they stayed with us, and well they did ! Every one 
 was needed. To cook for these sick and supply them 
 was no light task. The boat reached Memphis on 
 Friday. The men were disembarked as fast as pos- 
 sible. We ladies found we must return to St. Louis by 
 a packet steamer ; so went on board one at Memphis, 
 and next found that the government had ordered this 
 one to go back from Cairo to Vicksburg, pressed into 
 service. So to-night we take the cars, and hope to 
 reach St. Louis to-morrow. There were many interest- 
 ing things at Vicksburg, the camp, the men at their 
 various works. I was glad to see some of the Western 
 generals. I found them very pleasant and cordial : full 
 of anxious thought, but hopeful and determined ; they 
 may die, but they will not give up. We have some 
 splendid men at the West here ; I wish you could see 
 some of them. I do not know where I shall be placed 
 when I go back to St. Louis. I know one thing, it 
 will all be ordered rightly : all I have to do is to be will- 
 ing to be led by One who is unfailing. 
 
 March 3. I write in rather an abrupt style, but I 
 write often when tired and can only write a little. 
 You have no conception of the state of the boat when 
 we left it. Hercules might have cleaned it, nobody else 
 could ; it was awful ! We had no regular working-woman 
 on board ; only contrabands who have not the slightest
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 59 
 
 idea of neatness. The men on board were very home- 
 sick, longing so for wife and children. One man told 
 me he had a child married, and other younger ones : he 
 was getting well, and all his thoughts seemed to be for 
 them and seeing them. They were of all ages, some 
 mere boys. I could not help thinking of their meet- 
 ing in another life, whether they will think of their 
 comradeship here. There must be a strange mingling 
 of influences, the spirits who are attendant on the 
 dying and the dead, those who are helping the living 
 and influencing in their different offices of use. You 
 do not know how much you are passing through at 
 such times, till it is all over and you feel the reaction. 
 I am glad of this two or three days' rest. I am struck 
 with the immediate peace that repeating the Word 
 brings to the men when in trouble ; it is almost un- 
 failing, especially when they are dying. I am getting 
 sadly familiar with death, I say, sadly, for it is hard 
 to have it come in such a way through this unnatural 
 war. You feel that it should be the mother or wife's 
 hand they should cling to, and not that of the stranger. 
 March 3, St. Louis. After we got on board the 
 return boat, it was ordered to return to Vicksburg 
 from Cairo; so we took the cars at the latter place 
 and reached St. Louis yesterday. One of the ladies, 
 Mrs. King, took us home with her. This morning I 
 reported to Mr. Hasard. Where he will now place me 
 I do not know ; there is a blissful uncertainty about 
 the army. There is one thing I try to remember, 
 that we are in the hands of One who knoweth best,
 
 60 MEMOIR OF 
 
 and He will put me where it is best for me to go. If 
 He sees it is best for me to continue in my work, He 
 will give me a place, and if He does not, I shall pray to 
 be willing to do just what He wishes. I am not al- 
 lowed to work merely for the soldiers ; my own disci- 
 pline is going on at the same time, and I must be 
 willing to accept whatever is really best. 
 
 LETTER VI. 
 
 MEMPHIS. 
 
 DARLING MOTHER, I am on board the boat oppo- 
 site the city of Memphis. Night before last we stopped 
 all night on account of the fog, so had the advantage 
 of passing the most interesting places in daylight. The 
 Mississippi is perfectly magnificent. You cannot imag- 
 ine such a river unless you have been on it ; it is so 
 grand and mighty, and such a mysterious river it is, 
 winding in the most unforeseen manner in and out, 
 now rushing through a channel not wider than the 
 Charles River, then suddenly widening to two miles 
 and more. Yesterday we stopped at Columbus ; the 
 fortifications make one shiver to look at them and 
 think of our brave fellows scaling them as they did. 
 I was shown the places where they went up and were 
 driven back into the river, before they could, after 
 repeated attempts, gain the" victory. We passed many 
 places that will always be memorable in our history.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 61 
 
 Late in the afternoon we reached Island !N"o. 10. I 
 little thought, when I read the accounts last winter, 
 that I should ever see it. There is a garrison upon it 
 under the care of Colonel Asboth. The other night, 
 four thousand guerillas made an attack upon it, but 
 were driven back ; so you see the garrison is a neces- 
 sity. You cannot think how different being in the 
 midst of the war is to hearing of it at a distance. 
 
 We steam under the yellow flag, and they do not 
 usually fire upon that, so you need not be frightened 
 about me ; at any rate I am in the army, and like it. 
 To-day we reached Memphis, where we stop till we 
 receive our orders to proceed ; if it is a clear night we 
 shall probably go on, it is not safe in the fog ; the river 
 is a difficult one to navigate. We are four hundred 
 miles from St. Louis. We have just heard that instead 
 of going to Vicksburg we have received orders to go to 
 Helena, and there load up with sick ; how true this will 
 prove we do not know, the order may be countermanded 
 when we reach Helena. Do you remember the ac- 
 counts we read of the fight before Memphis between 
 our gunboats and those of the enemy 1 We are on the 
 spot, and right before us are the bluffs where the people 
 assembled to watch the fight. 
 
 I think of you often, but am not as homesick, quite, 
 as I was. To-day is Sunday, and I am trying to think 
 what you are about. Some of the ladies went on 
 shore, but I must not leave my charge. We have some 
 sickness on board among the men : one has diphtheria, 
 but will probably recover, another has erysipelas, and
 
 62 MEMOIR OF 
 
 there are other cases. The cabin is being put in 
 readiness for the sick, rows of hospital beds all along, 
 all made up ready, and the ship being put in order 
 gradually. I have just received one of our new laun- 
 dresses, a contraband, with one pretty little boy ; she 
 wants to go to St. Louis, where she can get employment. 
 When the doctor saw her he did not at first think of 
 taking the boy ; but, when he understood, he said to 
 me, " The boy may come too." I wish you could have 
 seen the poor woman's face. She says she has lost 
 her husband : her boy is her all. She looked as if she 
 would like to go down at the doctor's feet. There are 
 many contrabands here. 
 
 I think I shall finish this to Carrie. 
 
 LETTER VII. 
 
 MEMPHIS. 
 
 DEAR CAURIE, I was very glad to receive your 
 very welcome letter ; when one is as far away from 
 home as I am everything is welcomed. It is so warm, 
 we are sitting with the windows open ; the climate is 
 lovely. We are on our way down the river to take up 
 sick and wounded. The soldiers are so glad to have a 
 woman among them. I heard a funny story the other 
 day with regard to it. At one of our outposts, the 
 soldiers had not seen a woman for months. At last, 
 the wife of one of the officers went to make him a visit ;
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 63 
 
 on her landing, all the soldiers assembled to see her, 
 they formed a lane for her, shouting, throwing up their 
 caps, and acting in such a way generally that the poor 
 woman was frightened and ran as fast as she could to 
 her husband's quarters. It is curious sailing through 
 the island channels here, where there has recently been 
 such warfare. We may be going to Helena or Vicks- 
 burg, we do not know which. If we go to Vicksburg 
 we shall stop above the city, but in sight of it. The 
 hospital boats never take any part in the battle, or are 
 fired upon as other boats are ; the yellow flag floats at 
 our mast-head to protect the wounded. I am fairly in 
 the army, and, if my strength holds out, I suppose I 
 shall be allowed to stay in it. You would be amused 
 to see my commissions as nurse. I wonder what I 
 shall do next. I have a little state-room all to myself. 
 The doctor is very kind, and took great care to ascer- 
 tain if I was comfortable. He has a lovely little wife, 
 so I suppose that makes him considerate towards 
 women generally. 
 
 Monday. Our last orders are, to go to Vicksburg. 
 If there is an engagement going on, I suppose I shall 
 see it. Our fleet are just above Vicksburg ; we shall 
 stop among the ships, I suppose. We are taking in 
 necessaries. Last night we could not get men to un- 
 load the boat. There is a strong Secesh feeling here, 
 and the men hid in order not to help us. The Provost- 
 Marshal was out trying to press men. I believe he 
 had to fall back upon the contrabands ; poor things, 
 they work willingly. You would laugh to see me
 
 64 
 
 MEMOIR OF 
 
 housekeeping on board the boat. I just sent on shore 
 for some blueing to counteract the effect of Mississippi 
 water on the clothes. I go from sick-beds to laundry, 
 then to oversee another piece of work, then off to the 
 supply or linen-room, as it is called here, to give out 
 all sorts of things, then to tell one of my uurses what 
 to give a sick man to eat, &c. This morning, we are 
 marking blankets, to prevent their being carried off by 
 soldiers and othei's. I do not know when we shall 
 reach Vicksburg. We may be detained at Helena, or 
 fired into going down ; one of the hospital boats which 
 has just come in says the rebels opened a battery upon 
 her though she had the yellow flag flying. But mother 
 need not be frightened. I like this kind of life, and I 
 hope I shall keep on for a while. At any rate, the 
 rebel shots are no more dangerous than diseases in the 
 hospitals, tell mother. And, then, I am in the army. 
 Can you imagine taking a sail, and keeping a look- 
 out for the enemy's batteries the while ; it is quite 
 interesting. Hospital boats do not carry guns, they 
 being non-combatants; but if the rebels came on 
 board I would find something, if it was only the 
 poker.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 65 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 ST. Louis, March 7, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I am writing in Mrs. Chauvenet's 
 parlor. I arrived in St. Louis yesterday morning 
 about eleven o'clock. I thought I would go to Mrs. 
 C.'s on my way out, and dine with her. I had the 
 warmest reception, and in the afternoon Mrs. C. and I 
 went out to see the doctor. Very glad he seemed to 
 see me. I had a talk with him, and then came back 
 with Mrs. Chauvenet. My room was not ready at the 
 hospital, and the doctor waited to see which room I 
 would have. Mrs. C. asked me, when I came, to visit 
 her before I went out to Benton Barracks ; so she 
 seemed glad to have me come back with her for a day 
 or two. I go out with her to the hospital this after- 
 noon to see the doctor and talk over work. 
 
 LETTER IX. 
 
 ST. Louis. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have just been to Mr. Hasard 
 to see if he had any letters for me. I am so longing 
 for one. I have an idea you may be sick, because I do 
 not hear. I suppose you have not yet received my 
 last letters. None of mine could be mailed after I 
 left Cairo ; you living at home, have no idea what it is 
 to be where war is actually raging around you. Every 
 
 5
 
 66 MEMOIR OF 
 
 thing is stopped or changed, and upset in the most 
 unforeseen manner. When I went on board the boat, 
 it was expected that she would continue to make trips 
 up and down all the time, and I should remain on 
 board. But the government has the boat under orders 
 at Vicksburg, no one knows what will be done next. 
 There are no more sick to be brought to St. Louis at 
 present. I knew my place at the hospital was filled 
 up, for the head surgeon only let me off to Mr. Hasard 
 on condition he would send a good nurse to take my 
 place. I did not know what I should do on my re- 
 turn ; but Mr. Hasard wishes this. They are organiz- 
 ing a large hospital just out of town, and the head 
 doctor has been to Mr. H., to tell him he wants a lady 
 at the head of the female part of it, as supervisor ; 
 they have pitched on poor little me. I have, as usual, 
 said I would do just as Mr. Hasard wished. One of 
 the ladies who was on board the boat invited me to 
 go to her house on my return ; was she not good ? 
 She is Mrs. King, a lovely woman ; I am at her house 
 now. I go to this new hospital as soon as it is ready, 
 in a few days, unless Mr. Hasard changes his rnind 
 about me. Every one is friendly to me here, and kind. 
 Mr. Yeatman carried your last letter down the river, 
 expecting to meet me there. I shall get it when he 
 comes home; I am longing for it. Mrs. Chauvenet 
 called this morning, and was as kind as kind could be ; 
 she said she was anxious lo see me, because, as I was 
 a stranger here she wanted to ask me to come to her 
 house, but I am at Mrs. King's. I feel I have friends
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 67 
 
 to go to now. They talk of the taking of Vicksburg ; 
 but, mother, if the talkers could see it! If it stands 
 a siege instead of capitulating, it is fearful to think 
 what that siege will be. I have been right in front of 
 the city where I could see the fortifications and breast- 
 works ; the work of taking it will be awful. I never 
 realized in the East what a war was. Now, I have 
 been down to it, I have seen the camps as they are 
 away from home, I have seen the work the men have 
 to do, and talked with them, seen how they felt about 
 it; and there will be no turning back. But I have 
 also been with the wounded just brought from the 
 battle, such wounds as never come home to us at 
 the East, and I know at what cost the work is done, 
 and how nobly, too, that cost is borne, counted as 
 nothing if we can only win, and guard the old flag 
 from harm. The cost is great; but in the lives of 
 nations, like individuals, there come seasons when we 
 must give up all. Here, side by side with all this noble 
 stirring is the Secesh spirit contrasting with it at 
 every turn ; here, you really see the struggle between 
 the two elements. 
 
 I went to the Lawson Hospital to see my old pa- 
 tients. I got a hearty greeting ; they were good fellows, 
 and I thought a great deal about them. The poor 
 men on the boat, in all their suffering, were so good, 
 so thoughtful of others : it was very touching. They 
 were so glad to see women round them. They had 
 not seen a woman for weeks and weeks. One of the 
 ladies heard one of the men say to another, as she
 
 68 MEMOIR OF 
 
 went by, " Tom, is it not good to see the women 
 round 1 " If those who object to women in hospitals 
 could only hear the speeches that are made to us, I 
 think their objections would be answered. As I bent 
 over them when they were laid on their beds, hard 
 hands were stretched out to clasp mine, and, " Oh, it 
 is so good to have a woman come." It is curious, the 
 strongest feeling is always for the mother, her name 
 first and last, usually; and when they were speaking 
 of what we did for them, the phrase always was, no 
 matter how old they were, " we had been like mothers 
 to them." 
 
 This new hospital they wish me to go to, is out of 
 the city, and has much better air, and healthier than 
 iu the city ; it is in the country. If I go there I 
 think I shall like it. But the question of liking has 
 to be set aside, and that of doing our work where we 
 are sent, substituted. My life at Fort Schuyler seems 
 almost play work compared to this ; but I liked it 
 there, the sea air was so delicious. 
 
 LETTER X. 
 
 ST. Louis, March 31. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, Mr. Yeatman has just sent me 
 your letter of the 25th, accompanied by a packet 
 of snipe and a quantity of rusks. He has joined 
 forces with ray doctor ; they had a consultation up in
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 69 
 
 my room one day, which has resulted in my eating a 
 little meat. 1 Mr. Yeatman sends me snipe with" the 
 threat that if they are not eaten beefsteak shall be. 
 He has also sent me the most delicious jelly, the maker 
 of which, his sister, is coming to see me. Of course I 
 am getting well, and you must not say I am "worn 
 out," but got sick going down the river, as a great many 
 do. I am glad I went ; it was an experience, every way, 
 I would not have lost. I long to be at my work : there 
 is so much to be done. Mr. Yeatman, one day, wrote 
 me a note of which I should like to repeat the last 
 words. " You must try and regard it [my illness] as 
 only a part of your schooling for the high and holy 
 mission in which you are engaged." Now, mother, I 
 feel sometimes as if I were not good enough for the 
 work, and that was the reason it -was taken from me 
 for a time. I may need more discipline myself, and 
 not be as really fit to work in the way I wish as I 
 think I am. We shall see ; I am going to try very 
 hard, and keep my thoughts and actions right and 
 Christianly, and then, if it is best for me, I shall have 
 this work to do, or rather, be able to do it. Mrs. 
 Chauvenet's neighbors have been kind in calling, 
 and sending me jelly and blanc-mange. These river 
 diseases oblige one to be careful. I have got ahead of 
 mine. 
 
 1 When this letter was written, my daughter was getting 
 better from an attack of malarial fever. She did not habitually 
 eat meat, or drink wine, or tea or coffee. I suppose she spoke of 
 snipe, and in a later letter of tea and of wine, that we might 
 understand she was entirely in the hands of her physician.
 
 70 MEMOIR OF 
 
 If the Lord sees fit to let me work, I think this will 
 be a good place for me ; but He knows best. I have 
 just eaten one of my snipe, with rusk, and drank some 
 wine this morning. I had rather have tomatoes and 
 potatoes than either, but my little German doctor is 
 decided. 
 
 When the letters miscarried, and I was three weeks 
 without getting one, I was in despair. I got so nerv- 
 ous that the doctor told Mrs. Chauvenet my mind 
 wanted helping as much as my body. 
 
 LETTER XI. 
 
 ST. Louis, EASTER SUNDAY, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I am thinking of you to-day, our 
 Communion Day. I wish I was with you. I know 
 you are thinking of me. Yesterday morning Mr. 
 Yeatman sent me a basket filled with the loveliest 
 spring flowers, wet with dew ; I have them beautifully 
 arranged, placed on a chair by me, while I write : they 
 fill the room with their perfume. I am invited with 
 the Chauvenets to his house to-morrow evening to meet 
 General and Mrs. McDowell. I am not yet well enough 
 to go out in the evening, I am sorry. On my bu- 
 reau stands a sweet little bouquet of heart's-ease, sent 
 up to me the other day. The St. Louis gentlemen 
 have the prettiest way of doing things. I am much 
 better than I was ; can go out into the garden, and 
 am allowed to extend my diet slightly ; for instance,
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 71 
 
 I \*as permitted a baked potato for dinner, beef tea, and 
 a morsel of roast beef ; after which latter enormity I am 
 actually alive. Dr. Eliot is at the head of most of the 
 improvements going on here in the educational point of 
 viesv ; attached to his church is a mission school for poor 
 and forlorn children ; I do not know that I should say 
 attached to his church, but it is taught by the young 
 ladies and gentlemen of his church ; his son Thomas 
 Eliot, is the principal of the school. You may imagine 
 how much good such a school must do. Dr. Eliot is also 
 working for other schools and for the University, heart 
 and soul ; he has the most wonderful persistence, never 
 giving up. He has done a great deal here for education. 
 I feel quite impatient to be at my work again. I hope 
 this work is for me. My cough has gone ; that is a re- 
 lief. Those violets you sent were lovely. What a woman 
 you are ! I keep them in the letter. I hope to have 
 another letter to-morrow. You speak of feeling afraid 
 you repeat yourself in your letters. No matter if you 
 do ; I read them over and over, so it amounts to the same 
 thing. I feel very quiet and contented now. I have 
 learnt a great deal during my sickness, and I think I 
 can feel willing, or try to feel so, to let the Lord do 
 what he pleases with me. Give my love to all. 
 
 LETTER XII. 
 
 ST. Louis, April 12, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have waited all the week for a 
 letter to answer, and have concluded to wait no longer.
 
 72 MEMOIR OF 
 
 The box arrived yesterday ; to-morrow I am going to 
 have it opened. It was marked " from the McClellan 
 Club." The interest that excited among the young 
 gentlemen at the Sanitary, and their remarks, upon 
 being made acquainted with the history of that highly 
 distinguished body, I shall relate to Sabra when I 
 tell her the history of the box. I am quite well now. 
 On Friday, Mr. Yeatman took me out to the hospital 
 I am appointed to, to see the head surgeon, mon chef, 
 and make my arrangements with him. It is called, 
 the Benton Barracks Hospital. It is out of the city, in 
 an enclosure of fifty acres, formerly used as the scene 
 of the Horse and Cattle Fairs held here. The great 
 amphitheatre has been made into a hospital. Then 
 there are other smaller hospitals in the grounds, for dif- 
 erent classes of patients. The whole number of beds 
 will be two thousand. They are not all put up yet 
 (the beds, that is). It is a very large and fine hospital. 
 I wish you could see it. The different buildings are 
 large and well arranged. After taking me over them 
 all, Dr. Russell told me what he wanted of me. He 
 wishes me to be the lady supervisor of all the nurses, 
 male and female, I myself taking my directions from 
 him ; as he laughingly told me he should not allow 
 any one to scold at me, he should reserve that privi- 
 lege for himself. He was in earnest however ; he is as 
 particular as any general, and all his officers have got 
 to mind their duties as well as they can. I hope and 
 pray that I may have undeYstanding and strength to 
 do mine properly. I never expected such a position as
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 73 
 
 this, of so much responsibility. The supervisor some- 
 times has to overlook all the women, cooks, laundresses, 
 ttc ; in a large hospital like this, that would be im- 
 possible ; the housekeeping is here a work by itself. 
 At Fort Schuyler the ladies had a special kitchen; 
 they will have one here, I am very glad of it. It did 
 a great deal of good there, and I hope will in this case. 
 My quarters are in a large house just outside, opposite 
 the gate. This house is occupied by the surgeons, super- 
 visor, and the lady who has charge of the linen-room. 
 We have a dining-room where we all take our meals to- 
 gether, head surgeon and all. and a pleasant parlor where 
 we can see our friends. Some of the surgeons have 
 their wives with them. Mrs. Forbes is the house- 
 keeper of this establishment ; it is like a large boarding 
 house, only under arrangements to suit the occupants. 
 This is to obviate the necessity of the doctors' seeking 
 board where they can. The Doctor said he wanted to 
 make it as much of a family arrangement as he could. 
 My room is rather small, but comfortable, a pleasant 
 window looking out on an upper piazza, a good bed, 
 table, washstand with china, stove, rocking-chair ! 
 common chair, straw carpet. I hope my hours in it 
 will be tolerably peaceful. I should prefer, as far as my 
 mere personal feelings were concerned, my one ward at 
 Fort S. quietly to myself, but I feel that I may be 
 of more use in this position, and I would rather be 
 where I can be of the most use. My various experi- 
 ences have prepared me for it, I hope, and for one thing, 
 I believe that all we do is overruled, and I should not
 
 74 MEMOIR OF 
 
 have been placed in such a position without any seeking 
 of my own, unless there had been some good reason for 
 it, some use which I could rightly perform there ; and 
 having been so sent there gives me hope that there 
 may be in me the fitness for such a charge, if I seek to 
 do only what is right. That is sometimes very dim- 
 cult. The Doctor wants me there as soon as I can 
 come ; I expect to go out on Tuesday. The Doctor 
 seemed very desirous that everything should please 
 me ; he asked me two or three times over if I liked my 
 room. I hope this will be something permanent, but 
 I do not feel as if I could look forward one week ; I have 
 had so many changes, and we live in such a time of 
 change. Mr. Yeatman took me a very pleasant ride, 
 showing me some of the forts ; St. Louis is protected 
 by ten forts. It was threatened by Secesh at the be- 
 ginning of the war, but General Lyons and the volun- 
 teers saved the city, and, through the city, the State. 
 Mr. Y. gave me a very interesting account of it. We 
 passed the old rifle-pits, built on the sides of the road 
 to command the approaches to the city. 
 
 LETTER XIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 19. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have only just received your 
 letter of April 9. I cannot think why it was so 
 long coming. I suppose you will have my long letter
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAESONS. 75 
 
 to Sabra a day before this reaches you. This morn- 
 ing was a very busy one ; it was inspection day. Sun- 
 day is the day appointed. I thought that while the 
 M. D.'s were going the rounds I should write to you ; 
 but, no, the Doctor tranquilly informed me that he 
 wished me to accompany him. I was to be in the 
 first ward he entered and join him there. I began 
 the day as usual, with a visit before breakfast to some 
 of the wards. After breakfast, again in the wards, 
 looking after nurses and seeing how the sick were 
 doing. At ten, I was awaiting the Doctor. The form 
 is this ; the wards are put in perfect order ; then, when 
 the Doctor comes, the steward enters and commands, 
 Attention ! All the men who are able rise and 
 salute the Doctor and suite. So we go through all the 
 wards, kitchens, and dispensaries. We wound up to- 
 day by getting into an ambulance, as many as it would 
 hold, that is, and went over to Beuton Barracks, where 
 there is an army hospital, of which our Doctor is 
 superintendent ; I have nothing to do with it. There 
 are not many sick there. After we came home the 
 Doctor said to me he wished to have a long talk with 
 me about my duties. I felt something as I have done 
 on entering a dentist's room. We had our long talk, 
 and he denned my work exactly ; he says I have a large 
 field to work in, and so I have, it almost dismays me ; 
 indeed, it would quite, if I did not hope I should be 
 guided and protected. I will tell you how my work is 
 laid out. I have direct and complete control over the 
 female nurses, I also direct all the male nurses ; I do the
 
 76 MEMOIR OF 
 
 latter work mostly through ward-masters who are here 
 simply head nurses. They have the care of directing 
 all the cleaning of the wards and changing the patients' 
 linen. I tell these men what I wish to have done, how I 
 wish to have it done and when they are to see that it is 
 done ; I tell a nurse myself if necessary. I see that the 
 wards are kept clean and properly arranged, &c., &c. I 
 have now to train the female nurses ; they are to give 
 all the medicines, see that the special diet patients get 
 all they are ordered to eat and that it is properly served 
 out to them ; and to watch the patients and do for 
 them whatever they require. This I have to teach 
 them so far as they do not know it, and they have not 
 generally much experience. I was sent in town by the 
 Doctor to-day to see Mr. Yeatman about more nurses. 
 I passed some time looking over a list, and selecting 
 from it those who appeared suitable. I have one nice 
 one in the amphitheatre in one of the new wards, 
 whom I like very much ; I put another in to-morrow ; 
 I have been regulating one very nice ward, and have 
 the nurses working well. The surgeon told me he 
 was very glad to have me there. To-morrow, I 
 expect 
 
 Tuesday. Are you used to my stoppages yet ] 
 This morning I went as usual into the wards, and 
 found so much to do at once that I did not get back 
 till breakfast was half over. Then out again to the 
 wards, seeing to this thing and that. The place is 
 very beautiful, though in summer very hot, the Doctor 
 informs me that the mosquitoes have bills immensely
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 77 
 
 long, regular Sangradoes. I am now in search of a 
 suitable man to be my orderly ; his duty wiffbe to fol- 
 low me round and do my errands ; the difficulty is to 
 find one strong enough. One of the ward-masters in- 
 formed me that he would not undertake to follow me 
 round, for I seemed to be everywhere. You need not 
 send me a lantern : I have one, and go about evenings 
 with it slung on my arm. My evening visits are im- 
 portant ones. One of the men who died here the other 
 day interested me very much. I sat by him some time 
 the evening he supposed would be his last ; when I got 
 up to go, he bade me good-by so touchingly, hold- 
 ing my hand in his poor trembling ones. I wonder 
 whether I shall ever meet these dying ones again. I 
 have watched by some I should like to see again 
 bright and happy. This is a curious sort of life and 
 there is one thing trying about it ; every night when 
 I review the day I see something which I could have 
 done better, or ought to have done differently. It 
 is rather discouraging to see one's self so far from 
 being just what one should be, or near it. I am 
 improving, I hope, and I am certainly learning. I hope 
 I shall be able to discharge the duties rightly. This 
 afternoon I had to give a reproof to a ward-master for 
 doing something without my sanction, which he ought 
 not to have done. I do not know which felt the worse, 
 he or I. I have a new nurse to train to-morrow, she 
 looks pleasant and good. 
 
 Wednesday. The new nurse has come ; I have set 
 her to work. I wish I had a set of nurses who knew
 
 78 MEMOIR OF 
 
 just what to do, and would take right hold ; however, 
 all can learn. 
 
 Dr. Russell says he knows Dr. Wyman and also Dr. 
 Bowditch, very well ; he himself is from Natick, Mass. ; 
 his family are there now ; his whole name is Ira Rus- 
 sell. As he is the head here, I thought you would like 
 to know of some who are acquainted with him. It is 
 very interesting here: I am beginning to love the place 
 very much. I made a short tour with the Doctor this 
 morning, which resulted in more work for me. Mr. 
 Yeatman says he wrote to you last week ; he was so afraid 
 you would send for me : what he said in the letter I 
 do not know, except that I was out here. I have been 
 very ill from malaria. I actually grew thin ; one friend 
 told me I looked peaked ; so I got to the glass to see, 
 and I did. I am quite well now, or I could not work 
 as I do. My little room is very pleasant : I have some 
 lovely flowers on my table, from Mr. Yeat man's gar- 
 den ; they are the flowers yon have by afad by. I 
 have been giving several of the caps the Club sent on, to 
 soldiers who had neuralgic pains in the head : they were 
 very much pleased with them. The pin-cushions ex- 
 cited great interest ; they are all appropriated. The 
 bandages have already corne into use. A box of any- 
 thing is acceptable. I was interrupted by the arrival of 
 a new nurse ; I have taken her to her ward, given her 
 general directions, and left her to domesticate. Then 
 other business ; I was about so much this morning 
 I am resting a little while. 
 
 I wish you could see this place and the men in
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 79 
 
 it ; there are more coming out ; I suppose we shall 
 by and by have two thousand patients. Some of the 
 men are sinking ; it is sad to see it. They are very 
 good and patient, but so subdued sometimes by their 
 long suffering, it is very sad ; you have no idea of the 
 weariness produced by long, sad sickness away from 
 home and woman's care. The peculiar sort of sub- 
 rnissiveness it causes is like that' of a poor tired child 
 who wants somebody to take care of him, and is too 
 weak to do for himself. When you see it in a man 
 who should be strong and well, it is very sad. The 
 men are beginning to care for me ; as I stop at the beds 
 as I go round, the hands are put out to take mine, 
 and I must hear how they are, and say something to 
 them. One poor fellow who did not get his strength 
 was too sober to be enlivened by anything, till I re- 
 marked very gravely, " I was very impatient for my 
 children to begin to walk," the idea struck him as so 
 comic that he laughed right out, and became quite 
 bright. One has to think of all sorts of things to say 
 to them. 
 
 LETTER XIV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 21, 1863. 
 
 Who would have thought a few years ago, that I 
 should be the superintendent of a hospital, teaching 
 nurses. Truly, the world turns round funnily.
 
 80 MEMOIR OF 
 
 22d. My letter was stopped by my aching eyes. 
 This afternoon I was obliged to write a letter to a widow 
 whose husband I was with when he was dying. I wrote 
 once, and in her answer she asked some questions which 
 I answered. I think I will enclose the letter that you 
 may see what sort of letters we receive. To write these 
 letters is one of our saddest duties. 
 
 LETTER XV. 
 
 BENTOX BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 26, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, Should you like a letter from me 1 
 I am very busy now, but find time this morning. 
 The Doctors have finished inspection. I asked the 
 Doctor if he wished me to accompany him usually ; he 
 said not if I did not wish to ; he had wished it the 
 last Sunday, that I might see how everything looked, 
 but he did not care about it. I was rather relieved, 
 for it is quite a public affair. Yesterday we received 
 one hundred and fifty more men from Memphis. They 
 were very glad to get here. There are some very sick 
 ones among them ; as they came, I was in the wards, 
 to see if they were properly prepared for them, and to 
 speak to the men as they came in. I got so tired see- 
 ing new faces, my head fairly ached ; you have no idea 
 how it affects one. It is_not the mere seeing; I speak 
 to each one, they tell me what is the matter with them, 
 and in that way I get the run of the ward, and can
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 81 
 
 direct the nurses better. One man is very ill with 
 heart complaint. I saw him this morning as he was 
 recovering from a very trying attack ; I sat down by 
 him and talked with him; he told me that he thought 
 he was dying when he was so ill : he seemed very much 
 affected. 
 
 Monday evening. This has been a fatiguing day. 
 Before breakfast I made the tour of the wards, that 
 had female nurses in them. After breakfast, round 
 again. I have to observe whether the nurses are at. 
 their posts and doing their duty, if a patient needs his 
 face bathed, water compress on his head, another pillow 
 and change of position, or flannel wrapped round him, 
 &c. ; if the nurses have not seen to it, call their 
 attention and show them what ought to be done. Then 
 I have to look after the ventilation, see that windows 
 are properly opened and that the wards are clean and 
 attended to in season ; if they are not, speak to the 
 ward-master, or report the ward ; see that the special 
 diet is properly cooked when it comes up, and served in 
 season ; if not, report the cook. I report to the head 
 surgeon every day. To-day two new nurses came ; I 
 had to place them, and see to their room. It being 
 Monday, I had to make out a weekly report of the 
 nurses, female nurses, the ward-master sends in 
 the report of all the male nurses, that is, of where 
 they are when entered, by whose orders, kc. This 
 is done every Monday, and any change or new nurse 
 coming in the week reported at once. 
 
 I wrote a letter this morning for the poor man I 
 6
 
 82 MEMOIR OF 
 
 spoke of the other day ; he says he trusts in the Lord. 
 He told me he thought he was dying, and he seemed 
 tried at the thought of dying here. I told him how the 
 Lord cared for him, and how he was waiting to take 
 him home just as he himself would take a little child, 
 for we were all little children in our Father's hands. 
 He said he knew it, and looked comforted. He 
 asked me to write to his wife, " that he was trusting 
 calmly in the Lord." We hope he will get his dis- 
 charge and go home. 
 
 Tuesday morning. I was so sleepy I had to stop 
 and go to bed, and now I must stop and go to the 
 Doctor. ... I had to arrange some details with him. 
 For one thing, the nurses like to sit in their room a little 
 while in the evening. The hospital rule is, all lights 
 out at nine o'clock. I told the Doctor the nurses 
 needed more time, so the rule now is, all nurses' lights 
 out at ten. As their breakfast is at six, that is none 
 too early, the Doctor says. I like the place very much, 
 it is very pleasant out here. I hope I shall not have 
 varioloid ; we sent away ten cases this morning to the 
 small-pox hospital. I had been over them every-day 
 since they came in. Poor fellows ! they looked sadly 
 when they had to be dressed and changed to another 
 place. I found a woman with her baby sitting on one of 
 the beds the other day ; on stopping to speak to her, she 
 told me that her husband, whom she was sitting by, had 
 never seen his child before that day. It was five months 
 old ; he was holding it, and looking at it, as if there 
 never was a baby before. He could not say much, but
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 83 
 
 I wish you could have seen his face. The child was 
 a beautiful boy. One of the ward-masters has a brown 
 cat of which he is very fond ; he is quite an old 
 man, and puss seems to supply the place of family. 
 How do you think she begins the day ? With a glass 
 of egg nog compounded for her by himself; I sup- 
 pose he thinks it beneficial. A hospital is an odd place, 
 all sorts of things meet and come out. I hope to hear 
 from you soon. ... I am longing for letters. . . . 
 I wish you could see how good and patient the men 
 are. Most or many of them begin the day, after break- 
 fast, with their Bibles, when they are so weak they can 
 hardly hold the book. They turn to it for strength 
 and support. It is very touching when you know their 
 days are numbered, to see them in pain and trouble, 
 clinging to this comfort ; and such a happy thought 
 that they are soon to read it in joy and gladness. The 
 lady nurses are very kind to their men, and are a great 
 comfort to them ; the Doctors find the wards where 
 there are lady nurses get along so nicely that they are 
 all anxious to have them. They keep asking me when 
 they too shall have ladies in their wards. Mr. Yeat- 
 man says he is going to send out twelve more between 
 now and Monday, and there will be more by and by. 
 The amphitheatre alone takes twenty ; we have nine 
 now ; these new ones will make twenty-one ; we shall 
 probably want about thirty. 
 
 We are going upon a new plan in some respects, and 
 it takes a great deal of thought and care to adapt things 
 and people. I like young nurses ; they are more willing
 
 84 MEMOIll OF 
 
 to follow directions, more energetic, and stronger ; so I 
 asked Mr. Yeatman to furnish us with such. I do not 
 want old women in the wards, unless they are trained, 
 habitual nurses, that have always kept up to the mark. 
 We have about twice, or more than twice, as many 
 male nurses as female. The acting corps of a large 
 hospital like this is immense, take it in all. 
 
 Evening, I went out to the wards this afternoon ; 
 found things to attend to. The wards are so large that 
 we have more than one female nurse to each. The wards 
 in the amphitheatre are so very large that we have, or 
 shall have, four female nurses to each one. I assign them 
 each a quarter and see that they keep in it. The male 
 nurses are also assigned, one to each quarter. I found 
 some men very sick to-day. I think we shall have 
 more deaths soon among them. I was quite struck by 
 the feeling shown by the men to their comrades on 
 many occasions. They are good to each other. 
 
 The other day, one of my female nurses came to me, 
 and informed me she was married the day before to the 
 bugler ! It seems they were engaged, and thought, to 
 avoid the remarks his visits might occasion, they had 
 better be married. So I marched over to the doctor with 
 this little item. He was very much amused. The lady 
 has been sharing a room with three other nurses. I told 
 the Doctor I thought he would have to provide for them, 
 and he has given them a room to themselves, into 
 which they moved to-dajvto the great delight of the 
 bugler bridegroom. Everything here is military. The 
 gates are guarded night and day by sentries, and no
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 35 
 
 soldier can go in or out without a pass. The cavalry 
 are frequently passing to and from the Barracks beyond 
 the hospital. They are very picturesque and effective as 
 they go winding in and out among the trees. The calls 
 are blown by a bugler ; every now and then the soft 
 tones come floating on the air, most poetically stating 
 that dinner is ready, <kc. The Doctofr is very good 
 and kind and thorough, and everybody else has to be 
 thorough too. I hope I shall have strength and wis- 
 dom given me to do this work rightly. I love it very 
 much, though it is so arduous. 
 
 LETTER XVI. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 30. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have just finished my evening 
 round, and am going to try to keep awake long enough 
 to talk with you a while. 
 
 This afternoon we had a very interesting scene. One 
 of the buildings is a circular one, to be used as a hos- 
 pital when we fill up quite; in the mean time, the 
 Doctor has given permission that it should be used 
 as a chapel. This afternoon we had a meeting in it, 
 Dr. Eliot presiding. The beds were placed in close 
 rows and used as seats ; a pulpit, lent us for the 
 present, on one side, a harmonium by the side of that. 
 I went over with the Doctor, after making my report
 
 86 MEMOIR OF 
 
 of the wards to him. I should like to have had you 
 see the interior ; the pulpit, with Dr. Eliot's beau- 
 tiful gray head above it ; in front, row upon row of 
 Sabbath-school children, who caine out to sing to the 
 soldiers, some ladies who came from the city, and all 
 the rest filled with soldiers, crowded ; their weather- 
 beaten, worn faces, that had watched for the enemy 
 month after mouth, in the battle-field and on the lonely 
 picket, now turned towards him who preached the 
 Word of the Lord, giving words of help and comfort to 
 those who were in need of such strength and cheer. 
 He spoke to them of the war ; he said it was a Chris- 
 tian war, for we were fighting for the Lord's cause, his 
 freedom and right. He took for his text, " He who 
 loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy 
 of me." The children began by singing a beautiful 
 hymn, beginning "Am I a soldier of the Cross ! " 
 Then there was a prayer, then another hymn, then 
 Doctor Eliot's address. I wish you could have seen 
 the soldiers when the little children were singing : 
 they are most of them fathers, their little ones far 
 away. After Dr. Eliot, the children sang " Marching 
 along." 
 
 After the benediction, I had to make my afternoon 
 tour of the wards ; seeing that men were cared for, 
 that nurses did their duty. I hope I shall not fail in 
 mine ; I feel as if I had to watch myself more than 
 anybody else. After supper, seeing an old woman 
 who wanted to see me ; in the evening out to the 
 wards to see that the night-nurses do their duty, that
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAKSONS. 87 
 
 the men are comfortable. I have to remind the nurses 
 of things continually and do things myself. I found 
 one of my men, who I think is dying of consumption, 
 sad and weak. I sat down by him, and^read to him 
 the 103d Psalm ; he seemed to feel it very much, and 
 looked up so gratefully for the good words. What 
 should we do without them 1 There is another man in 
 the same ward, sinking the same way. I was reading 
 to him this morning. 
 
 Friday morning. I have a few minutes before din- 
 ner for you and me. I was out this morning among 
 the wards, visited them all before breakfast ; my break- 
 fast was late, I admit. After breakfast out again ; one 
 thing and another to attend to, direct or do. In one 
 ward, where there was no female nurse, I found a poor 
 feverish patient, the cloth on his head all warm, the 
 heedless men nurses not thinking of it ; I got ice- 
 water, bathed his face and then his hands. As I 
 worked over him, I looked up at him, and he was 
 watching me with such a look. I left him more com- 
 fortable, with a cool, wet compress on his head and 
 quiet in his face. And so we work on, here a little 
 and there a little. The Doctor is very kind in his in- 
 tercourse with me, explaining things in my work, 
 advising me how to do, and how to act with others, 
 and to them. He has a great deal of tact himself." It 
 is a great help to me to have such a person to act with 
 and guide me. My position is an arduous one. 
 
 I wish you could see the caps you sent on, on the 
 wearers' heads ; one tried on three, and at last pitched
 
 00 MEMOIR OF 
 
 upon the least pretty, but he thought it becoming. 
 One of the men got a cap of black velvet trimmed with 
 red ; he came to me in great dismay, to say that the 
 men told him it was Secesh, and would I give him 
 something blue to pin on ; so I have made him a blue 
 knot, and shall take it to him this afternoon. There 
 goes the bugle ! so I suppose we shall have dinner 
 soon. 
 
 Afternoon. A new nurse came just now, a widow, 
 who seeks consolation in nursing. I suppose she 
 thinks fifty men will console her for one. I hope they 
 will. I have assigned her a pleasant ward. Have you 
 any good advice to give me 1 Let me have it if you 
 have. We have just had a delicious shower, it cooled 
 the air so refreshingly. A thunder-storm is as good as 
 an ice-cream on a hot day. I want my German Ollen- 
 dorff and Key. I need them here. 
 
 LETTER XVII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 May-day, 1863. 
 
 I AM better than I have been; my cough is very 
 slight and I am stronger. For some time I had 
 coughed very badly with a sort of intermittent fever 
 every other day. I did not give up work for it, but 
 am very glad to feel more comfortable, and more able 
 to work. Our hospital is in fine condition. The new
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 89 
 
 nurses take hold well and are interested in their work ; 
 in the colored wards the nurses are teaching their men 
 to read, write, and, in some instances, to cipher. The 
 poor colored men are very grateful and so anxious to 
 learn it is very touching. There is one colored man 
 dying of consumption. His great longing is for cake. 
 I take him some every day. I was a little late yester- 
 day ; he asked the nurse where that woman was who 
 brought the cake ? She told him I was coming, and 
 said, "Which do you like the best, the lady or the 
 cake 1 " Well, he said, he liked the cake the best. We 
 were quite amused by his honesty. I have been busy 
 to-day in all sorts of ways, and to-night am tired, as I 
 always am ; but then I sleep well. Two of my nurses 
 are sick, one with measles, so I have that on my mind 
 in addition to my other cares. Think of coming eight 
 hundred miles to have the measles in a hospital ! I 
 dreamed last night of being at home and laying my 
 head on your lap. It was nice. 
 
 I think my poor men care for me, and perhaps I 
 shall not be obliged to live to a lonely old age ; I may 
 be allowed to pass into another life when my work in 
 this way is done. One of my nurses told me, the 
 other day, that she had a young brother in the army, 
 lie was at the taking of Fort Donelson, in the thickest 
 of the fight, his comrades falling all around him amidst 
 a perfect hail of shot, and he escaped without a 
 scratch. He told them he thought then that it was 
 his mother's prayers that were saving him, and he 
 believed now that they had saved him all through. 
 Was it not a beautiful thought ?
 
 90 MEMOIR OF 
 
 Going through the wards the other evening, I saw a 
 man who appeared to be in trouble. I went to him. 
 He was weeping like a child over the picture of his 
 wife and babies. Poor fellow ! he will- have many a 
 homesick feeling before he gets through. I comforted 
 him as well as I could, and when I left him he ap- 
 peared to feel a good deal better. Home-sickness is 
 the worst sort of sickness. 
 
 LETTER XVIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL. 
 May 4, 1863. 
 
 I AM busy now overseeing and teaching new nurses. 
 Dr. Russell was speaking to me of my work, the other 
 day, and said how great the responsibility was ; it is 
 something I have to answer for very humbly and care- 
 fully. The Doctor is very good, and very much beloved 
 here. I like his strictness ; it is right ; but it obliges 
 one to walk very carefully, and that is what we ought 
 to do. 
 
 Yesterday, I sat down by a dying man, dying of 
 consumption, and read to him a beautiful Psalm. He 
 enjoyed it very much ; he always does ; he wanted me 
 to stay with him. I had promised to go with one of 
 my new nurses to the afternoon meeting here, so I 
 went back to him after it; as I sat by him, fanning 
 him, he said : " I wish I could go to meeting, I always
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 91 
 
 liked it." He will soon go to a meeting from which no 
 bodily infirmities will keep him. 
 
 My cares and duties gather daily. Every day I see 
 more and more to be done or done better by myself, 
 more duties towards others. 
 
 The men are some of them very pleasant, giving me 
 a kindly welcome as I go, the hand put out to take 
 mine as I come to them. There is something that 
 goes to your heart in those rough, worn hands, that 
 have carried their guns through many a hard fight for 
 our country, and are right ready to carry them again. 
 No\v they are worn with disease, fighting with pain 
 and sorrow, surely we ought to help them in all ways. 
 I am going now on my evening rounds ; I find things 
 to attend to always. 
 
 Evening. I have been round the wards, reading to 
 some, fixing pillows for others, seeing that nurses are 
 in their places. I went into one large ward, of which 
 the ward-master is a very nice old man, and found the 
 men on their knees, for the most part, and the ward- 
 master offering up prayer. I wish you had been there. 
 A sick ward is at all times of night a peculiar scene 
 this was very impressive. I shall always feel better in 
 that ward ; they have prayer every night. This morn- 
 ing was very sultry and hot; to-night it has cooled off, 
 and the men are better. . . . 
 
 I have resumed my white caps, they are very con- 
 venient. I heard to-day that one of the German 
 soldiers was inquiring who that lady was, " she wore 
 a little white cap, looked like a German, and spoke to
 
 92 
 
 MEMOIR OF 
 
 him in German." I am afraid he was disappointed 
 when he found I was not a country-woman. 
 
 LETTER XIX. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 May 10, 1863. 
 
 The bandages are in xise, some of them. The flannel 
 shirts are more useful than one can imagine who has 
 not seen them used ; so many of the men have chest 
 and side pains, leading to consumption. I think if the 
 ladies could see the good their work does, it would be 
 more than return for all they have done. It did my 
 heart good to take out the nice clean articles one by 
 one, and think of the poor suffering forms they would 
 render more comfortable ! " Oh ! I feel better ! " they 
 say, after putting on a good flannel shirt. The men 
 who have come to-night are quite sick ; some bad cases, 
 I fear. I have been round among them. ... I went 
 after their arrival, and again to-night. They got here 
 about one or two o'clock. They were refreshed by 
 their supper, but weak and weary. You have no idea 
 how our soldiers live. I am so accustomed to living 
 among them, that I do not know what I shall do when 
 I return to civil life, if ever I do. I am inclined to 
 think I shall follow the army for a profession. 
 
 Tuesday. I am afraid the preceding letter was 
 rather broken up, but I "was dead tired, and could 
 hardly write at all. It is very warm here, and the
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 93 
 
 heat tires one. I see its effects on the men. We have 
 about nine hundred sick, and a number of convales- 
 cents besides, whom we are sending away. We are 
 expecting to fill up every day or any day. This place is 
 better for the sick than the city ; I wish you could see it 
 at night. It is a curious place, this great Coliseum 
 building lit up, and all the smaller ones, as I go about 
 the grounds at night, all alone with my lantern. It has 
 a curious effect ; I can hardly realize it all, or that I am 
 at the West. I shall never love any place as I do the 
 East. I wonder how Cambridge is looking. I must 
 not think much about it, there grows up such a longing 
 if I do, and I could not enjoy it if I left my duty to 
 do so. ... 
 
 My dresses were very acceptable, I am so hot. The 
 two new dresses are lovely ; I cut one out this after- 
 noon. I have to rest a little sometimes, for my feet 
 pathetically represent that they are made of flesh and 
 blood. The ginger I can testify to from personal ex- 
 perience. I was delighted with everything ; I kissed 
 the handiwork of my friends. When I looked at the 
 hat, it looked so like sister Sabra that I kissed the 
 bows she had made. 
 
 Tuesday. I have come in from my night patrol 
 tired and wet, so I have put on a dry wrapper, 
 and am ensconced in my rocking-chair. A new nurse 
 came to-day, a lady about forty. Her husband is off 
 engineering, or something like it, and she wanted 
 to do something for the soldiers ; so she has turned 
 nurse. .
 
 94 MEMOIR OF 
 
 The window shade you sent me is going to one of 
 the dining-rooms, to do duty as table-cloth ! I made 
 myself a short cotton shade. 
 
 LETTER XX. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 May, 14. 
 
 DEAR CARRIE, . . . I have just come in from my 
 night rounds. I went to the prayer-meeting to-night ; 
 it was very interesting. The men sing well, and you 
 should hear the army hymns from their lips ; they are 
 grand sometimes. To-night there were present two of 
 the missionaries, who go among the soldiers to teach 
 them. One of them went down the river when I did ; 
 he used to hold prayer-meetings every night. They 
 were solemn out there on the Mississippi, passing we 
 knew not what dangers, and going to meet others. I 
 did not dare tell mother when I went, she would have 
 been so anxious. The river navigation is very danger- 
 ous in some parts now, and probably will be till the 
 war is over. To return to this missionary, he gave 
 an account of his last trip down the river. I will give 
 a part in his own words. 
 
 [There follows an account of the painful and 
 sometimes perilous experiences of this and other 
 missionaries. This narrative might not be without
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 95 
 
 its own interest, but has nothing to do with the 
 writer's work, and is omitted. The letter then 
 goes on.] 
 
 I tell you all this, Carrie, because I want you 
 should understand the many sides and inner life of 
 this war. Side by side with the heroism in the field 
 that we read of, there is another heroism, grander, 
 more courageous, working for eternity. 
 
 The men want to be told these things ; they care 
 for them, ask for them. I was reading the other Sun- 
 day morning to a man ; when I had finished, one at a 
 distance beckoned to me. I asked him what he wanted. 
 " Won't you read me a chapter, too 1 ? " I read to him, 
 too, and he seemed so pleased. They are dear, good 
 souls, some of them. One very sick man has been 
 very low-spirited lately. Two days ago his wife came 
 to see him, bringing a beautiful little daughter he had 
 never before seen. Oh, he was so happy ! He is very 
 weak : I am afraid he will never be much stronger. 
 He sits on the side of his bed, holding his baby's little 
 hand in his, and the wife sits and looks at them both. 
 He told me that his oldest child told the mother not 
 to come home without papa. They want comforting 
 in many ways. I have such a curious variety of cares : 
 all sorts of things are continually rising to the surface 
 like bubbles, and I am expected to settle all. I keep 
 clear of all cliques and intimacies, it is . lonesome, 
 but necessary ; for I must take sides from feeling, no- 
 where. Some things are rather puzzling to deal with.
 
 96 MEMOIR OF 
 
 I think I shall have some idea of character when I am 
 through with this work. 
 
 It is a life of hard work, and uncertain work : you 
 never know one week where you may be sent the next. 
 I have gone wherever I was asked since I came here, 
 and nearly killed myself, though I do not mind 
 that, and now if I get my strength back, I shall 
 keep where I can use it, and not, by getting sick, 
 become of no use or comfort to anybody. We must 
 have our bodies in good order, if we want to do for 
 others. I bought myself a passion-flower the other day 
 and have trained it up by my window ; it makes me 
 think of home. I can hardly realize the quiet state of 
 Cambridge. The excitement here about Vicksburg 
 and the river news is very great. If there is much 
 fighting at Vicksburg, it will fill up the hospitals, and 
 we shall have our hands filled with work. Tell mother 
 she must tell the ladies the men ai*e delighted with 
 their dressing-gowns. I give them o the sickest, and 
 they wrap themselves up in them so comfortably ! 
 
 LETTER XXL 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 June 5, 1863. 
 
 I am rather busy now ; I have to look after refugees, 
 contrabands, soldiers, both black and white, and keep my 
 senses. I have no immense work to perform, but many
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 97 
 
 duties, and I hope and pray that I shall perform them in 
 the right spirit and faithfully. The comfort of many 
 depends in a great degree upon me. I wish I had a 
 little stronger body, that I was a small Hercules for 
 instance. I wish you could have seen the face of one 
 poor white soldier as I was bathing him the other day. 
 I do get such sweet words and looks sometimes. The 
 world may not think I do much here, but the poor 
 men like to have me round. . . . Dr. Russell takes care 
 of me, that is, all he can ; work I must. The ther- 
 mometer is rapidly rising. I do not think above 90 
 yet, but there is a prospect of tolerably warm weather. 
 
 LETTER XXII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 June 7, 1863. 
 
 DARLING MOTHER, I got as far as the above, and 
 now, June 11, am going on with the letter. I received 
 yours of June 2. I was so glad to get it, I wish 
 there was more of it ; and yet I do not know that any 
 amount would satisfy me. I have been very busy 
 lately. The demand for nurses is on the increase, I 
 have written to some, and shall write to more, under 
 Dr. Russell's orders. We shall want surgical nurses : 
 one of our best nurses is going down the river. The 
 excitement here is very great ; I shall be glad when 
 Vicksburg is taken, and this terrible news of battle is 
 
 7
 
 98 MEMOIR OF 
 
 over. The amount of wounded is already very great, 
 by and by they will be coming up the river. . . . 
 It only takes a little time to order meals, and we 
 now live very comfortably ; I take my meals alone, at 
 a later hour than the nurses ; they breakfast at six, I 
 at seven, after I am through my morning first round 
 they dine at twelve, I at one ; they take tea at four, I 
 at six, after my afternoon walk of inspection. All 
 our nurses are ladies. I do not believe it would be 
 easy to find such a set of nurses in any other hospital 
 I have to keep careful watch over every one of the 
 nurses, as I am responsible for them, and a good deal 
 it involves. I have to look in many different directions. 
 There are not many patients here now ; they are being 
 drafted off to make room for the sick and wounded 
 when they come ; those here being most of them 
 convalescents. We have a lesser round building, called 
 the rotunda, which will be for surgical cases, as also 
 will some other wards. These great buildings are 
 called wards, then subdivided into divisions, and nurses 
 assigned to each division. They will hold a great 
 number of men. 
 
 Sunday afternoon. I have just come from Com- 
 munion. It was given in the rotunda, now used as a 
 chapel. It was all very plain, and somehow, from 
 that very reason, made me think more of that " upper 
 chamber " so many hundred years ago in Jerusalem. 
 There were soldiers and women present, weary men, 
 some just able to walk in, all intent on the solemn 
 occasion. I saw one man walk in leaning on his cane,
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 99 
 
 and wrapped up in one of the comfortable wrappers 
 you ladies sent him and others. I was glad to see him 
 there ; a month ago he was next to death. Some time 
 since, one poor fellow got his discharge ; he was far 
 gone in consumption, he had been wearing one of those 
 wrappers and seemed to enjoy it very much ; I told him 
 he might take it home with him ; he was poor and will 
 be very thankful to have something comfortable to wear 
 as he sinks away in the disease he caiight while fight- 
 ing for his country. I hope to have more nurses in 
 soon, before the sick and wounded come up the river ; 
 we shall be full then ; our hands will have enough to do. 
 We send off all that we can to convalescent places and 
 camps. One ward has decreased from one hundred 
 and thirty-seven to thirty-five or six patients, I tell the 
 nurses it is only resting time and they must make 
 the most of it. They are not allowed to go out of 
 the grounds without my permission. Two of them 
 came to me just now, and I sent them off to walk in the 
 woods ; a little while after over came another, with a 
 friend, to know if she might go. I hope they will have 
 a good time : it is a lovely evening. 
 
 The other evening I attended a prayer-meeting and 
 was very much interested. One of the speakers took 
 for his theme the necessity of coming to Jesus now, 
 and illustrated it very forcibly. Many of the men 
 present were under marching orders and will soon be 
 before the enemy. The preacher specially addressed 
 them, reminded them that it was the last time they 
 would stand there : would they go into the field and not
 
 100 MEMOIR OF 
 
 take Jesus with them ] He asked, what would they 
 do without him there, sick or wounded, or passing for~ 
 ever into another life ; where would they go in that life 
 if they did not take Him with them in this life and 
 follow His commandments by leaving off all sinful ways 
 and turning to Him. One feels a good deal when 
 seeing men thus addressed who are going off to the 
 battle-field. I tell you, mother, we realize war out 
 here : it is at our door. I have been very much inter- 
 ested in one of the wards here. Back of this house I 
 live in is a ward consisting of two long rooms : it is the 
 erysipelas ward. When there is a bad case of that 
 kind it is sent here, and the disease is held in great 
 horror by many who fear taking it. When Dr. Russell 
 came here in early spring, these patients were scattered 
 about in out-rooms and not properly cared for ; he had 
 these two rooms, which were barracks, turned into the 
 erysipelas ward. There was no woman in there to 
 keep things nice ; no one hardly would go in or near it ; 
 it was looked upon as a sort of Botany Bay among the 
 wards. I went in after I had been here a while and 
 got my duties under head-way elsewhere. I found the 
 wards dirty: no whitewash, old wooden bunks, mattresses 
 that had not been changed for a long time ; everything 
 requiring renovation. I passed some time there, then 
 went over and asked the Doctor to let me have the ward 
 arranged like the other wards. He told me it would not 
 do to order one of the lady nurses there ; I told him, 
 " no, but I could go myself.". He asked if I did not fear 
 taking it, I told him if there was risk it was already
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 101 
 
 run, for I had passed about two hours over the worst 
 cases. He laughed and finally gave me permission to 
 go in and do whatever I pleased ; did n't I go ! I found 
 a German Doctor who did not understand neatness, 
 and who was going away ; I waited till he went, then a 
 skilful Doctor possessed of Yankee neatness joined 
 forces with me and in we went. 
 
 We revolutionized the place. We got in an army of 
 whitewashers, for lime is a disinfectant ; while the new 
 Doctor superintended whitewashers, I went to the head 
 surgeon, and asked for clean furniture : he kept his 
 word and said I should have it. So, going from one 
 place to another, I got in iron bedsteads, new mattresses, 
 pillows, bed furniture, mosquito nettings; had the 
 tables and cupboards washed ; lime was put in boxes on 
 the floor ; the Doctor had the beds arranged in two files, 
 each side of the room, two feet from the wall, so that 
 every part of the floor is exposed and there is no ex- 
 cuse for not washing every part ; everything is now as 
 clean and nice as any other ward, walls and ceiling white- 
 washed, the floor clean, and order generally. The 
 next thing I wanted was a lady nurse ; I could not order 
 one there ; so I kept on superintending myself, but that 
 was not enough. I longed for a volunteer nurse ; I con- 
 cluded at last, if one did not present herself, I would 
 pray for one. I went over to the wards in that state 
 of mind, and one of my best nurses informed me she 
 should like to take the ward ! I brought her over, in- 
 stalled her, and she says she is happy. The men are so 
 glad to have a woman about all the time. Yesterday
 
 102 MEMOIR OF 
 
 they dressed their ward up with evergreens and im- 
 proved it very much. As the ward nurse informed me 
 last night, it is go"iug to look as well as other places. 
 I look upon the nurse of that ward as a heroine ; I wish 
 I had time to tell you all she has done elsewhere. Her 
 name is Miss Melceuia Elliott. I am using the money 
 Mr. S. sent me to buy fruit for this ward ; they need it 
 very much, and it is doing them a great deal of good. 
 I take all the flowers I can get to this ward : they make 
 the air so pleasant. I would write better; but it makes 
 my eyes ache, so I cannot. It is very hot here, but 
 we have the Mississippi ; my respect for this useful 
 stream increases daily. There was an octagonal house 
 here of one room, lately vacated, I asked the Doctor 
 what he was going to do with it ; he told me he would 
 give it to me, and I should have it for myself, if I 
 wanted it ; I suggested that it would make a good par- 
 lor for the lady nurses to see their visitors in. The 
 Doctor liked the idea, and said it should be done ; it is 
 doing and will make them a very pretty room. Love 
 to all, and hope that I may be able to go on. 
 
 LETTER XXIII. 
 
 BEXTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL. 
 June 15. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I finished one letter to you yester- 
 day afternoon, and am going to begin another. We 
 had a funny scene in one of the wards last week. One
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 103 
 
 of the orderlies came over in great haste for the Doctor 
 of the ward ; he was not in, so over I went as fast as I 
 could. Lucky I did ; I found the man on his bed, he 
 averring he felt as if he had a fish-bone in his throat, 
 the nurses insisting he had diphtheria, on the strength 
 of which they were wrapping the throat in flannel and 
 preparing a hot foot-bath. I did not see any signs of 
 diphtheria, but there were signs of choking. I sent for 
 another surgeon ; he came ; had the man put by the 
 window-light, and pulled out a fish-bone, tightly bedded 
 in his throat. Would not the foot-bath have been 
 beneficial ? Neither the Doctor nor I could help hav- 
 ing a hearty laugh. 
 
 I like being here, it is very pleasant now. I hope 
 I shall have strength to continue and wisdom to do 
 right. 
 
 Wednesday. We are impatient for our new patients. 
 Nine hundred sick and wounded were carried to Jef- 
 ferson Barracks, twelve miles below the city, this week. 
 Our turn will come next I suppose. 
 
 It is play-time just now, compared with what hos- 
 pital life usually is ; though a person unaccustomed to 
 it would think we had plenty to do. In one of the 
 wards, the nurses went to work and made a handsome 
 flag, which was hung with appropriate ceremonies, and 
 a speech from the surgeon of the ward. One ward has 
 got a new design of evergreen ornaments, large stars ; 
 they are very pretty. They have great pleasure in 
 fixing up their wards in all sorts of ways, some not in 
 particularly good taste. I have a new attache, a white
 
 104 MEMOIR OF 
 
 poodle, belonging to the cook of the nurses' dining- 
 house. Poodle has thought proper to become attached 
 to me. 
 
 I wish Sabra would go to the Massachusetts General 
 Hospital and see Mrs. Mudgett, give her my love, and 
 ask how she does ; then write and let me know ; also 
 tell me how Joanna Welsh is, and remember me to her. 
 
 Some of the men here are quite sick, some dying. 
 There will be plenty of that by and by, I fear. I 
 shall be glad when I, too, am called home, but I want 
 to be of use while I stay. I wonder whether I shall 
 ever sleep in my blue room again. 
 
 LETTER XXIV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL. 
 June 21, 1863. 
 
 YESTERDAY we received a number of men from 
 Memphis poor, sick, and wounded fellows. We are 
 booked for a thousand more, I suppose, from down the 
 river. I went from man to man, to see that they were 
 provided for, had something to eat, &c. One poor 
 fellow was utterly forlorn, too sober and sick to eat ; 
 I got for him a mug of milk, crumbed a cracker in it, 
 fixed him up in bed on a rest, and got him to eat. 
 When he was all arranged, he looked up and said, 
 " This is the best place 1 have seen since I left home." 
 And he was but one of many I had to go to in the
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAKSOXS. 105 
 
 same way. Two poor fellows had their jaws shattered 
 by shot ; they could not eat, and I had some mutton 
 soup for them ; they were so glad of it : and so on 
 from one to another. As I went my rounds among 
 them this morning, I stopped to ask one man how he 
 did ; he wanted to show me the picture of his wife. 
 " Ah ! " said he, " money would not buy that of me ! " 
 Then he told me he had something more to show me, 
 and took out a card with eight braided rings of hair, 
 his wife's and seven children. I told him I guessed he 
 was glad when they sent him that. " Was n't I ! " and 
 such a look at it. 
 
 I wish you could see the hospital now, it is lovely ; 
 there is a pretty fountain playing before the entrance, 
 and such trees, and hardly any caterpillars. I told 
 the Doctor I did not care for the thermometer as long 
 as the latter did not appear. 
 
 You have no idea of the difficulty of keeping disci 
 pline in this place with all these women. I think some- 
 times of I won't say what. I am obliged to keep a 
 firm hand everywhere, and a quiet one too. It is 
 sometimes the most wearisome part of the work, and I 
 shall probably have between thirty and forty soon. 
 I have hitherto found it as much as I could do to 
 manage one woman. 
 
 Please write me more and oftener, it is all I have. 
 Love to all.
 
 106 MEMOIR OF 
 
 LETTER XXV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL. 
 June 24, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I sent off a letter to you this week, 
 do you want another 1 ? I thought of writing last even- 
 ing when I came in from my rounds, but I was too 
 sleepy. I little thought, when I inspected my ward 
 at Fort S., how many I should have to look after. We 
 are still expecting patients from down the river. They 
 cannot come up quite as fast as we wish they could. 
 I only hope I shall have nurses enough when they come. 
 I have just been on my afternoon rounds. There are 
 some very sick men here. One man had a bad attack 
 of chills and fever. I ordered him a flannel shirt. He 
 did not want it next his skin, but I insisted, and he 
 was shirted. I could not have him sick. Then others 
 had to have on thin flannel shirts and bandages. The 
 last are necessary and very useful, in chronic troubles. 
 I went to the city on Monday, I think I told you. I 
 have been eating black raspberries lately ; did you 
 ever see any ? They are very good, though not so 
 delicate as the red. Some of these poor fellows are 
 very forlorn ; homesick, and cannot get home. 
 
 Thursday. Did I ever tell you exactly how I make 
 my rounds 1 I start in the morning early, and see how 
 the breakfasts come up, and if they are properly cooked, 
 and sufficient in quantity. .Those of the men who are 
 convalescents eat in the dining-room of the wai-d, then
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 107 
 
 the sicker ones are on what is called special diet, that 
 is, articles of food specified for each man, and adapted 
 to his particular case. The nurses have the charge of giv- 
 ing it out. I see that they are doing it properly. Then 
 I eat my own breakfast, for which I am quite ready. 
 After breakfast, I put my room in order. I am obliged 
 to do all my own chamber-work ; we all are. Then 
 out I go again. I for a particular inspection of pa- 
 tients, whether they are taken proper care of by the 
 nurses, need any nourishment they have not had, flan- 
 nel bandages, or chest-pieces, or shirts (as particular 
 cases of illness come on, they need a different style of 
 wrapping), look after my nurses, and see to a few 
 other little matters. Then other things are apt to 
 come up, if there is much to be attended to, keeping 
 me busy till dinner-time. After dinner, I generally 
 rest a little while ; when the wards are filled up, I do 
 not suppose I shall be able to do so. Then out again 
 into the wards, looking after all sorts of things, suppers 
 included. Then my own supper, then out into the 
 wai'ds again ; a little later, looking after night nurses, 
 seeing that the sickest have their drink for the night, 
 enough pillows to rest their heads upon, and the wards 
 properly ventilated. When all is done, I feel like going 
 to bed. My bed is a straw one, and none of the softest, 
 but I am quite oblivious of the fact ; I could sleep on 
 the soft side of a plank. I had some blackberries 
 brought me to-day for the sick. I never tasted any so 
 nice ; this hot southern sun ripens them to perfection ; 
 the sick were very glad of them. I have had more
 
 108 MEMOIR OF 
 
 money given me to purchase fruit for the sick. I wish 
 you good people at the East would send us some green 
 eye-shades : they are very much wanted. I made my 
 rounds last night after the lamps were down ; I had 
 to see after sundry things, ventilation, night drinks, 
 &c. You have no idea what curious places these 
 immense wards are at night ; they look even larger 
 than in the day-time ; they are more like something 
 you dream of than anything you would expect to meet. 
 As I go up and down among the rows of beds, looking af- 
 ter the sick, I see so much patient suffering, pain quietly 
 borne that a neighbor may not be disturbed, comforts 
 done without, lest the asking should disturb some one. 
 It is one of my duties to see that they have these 
 without the trouble of asking. I gave one of Mr. Sil- 
 ver's tracts to a soldier who had lost his arm ; I hope 
 he will like it. One of the surgeons went in a great 
 hurry to Memphis to take care of the wounded. As I 
 was helping him pack, I gave him a packet of the 
 tracts, and asked him to distribute them among the 
 soldiers. He said he would. 
 
 Saturday. The sick and wounded are at the city ; 
 our ambulances have gone in to bring them out. I 
 must go over to the wards to see that all things are in 
 readiness for them. 
 
 I have been in the wards. It is now nearly half- 
 past five. The wards are ready. I have assigned the 
 nurses their quarters, seen about the moving of some 
 of the men, to the rolling o"f bandages (my roller comes 
 into use now), also sending fans I got from the Sani-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 109 
 
 tary Commission to the different wards, and so on, 
 with odds and ends. I have been on the move nearly all 
 day. I am very tired, for it is very hot. I came home 
 to take a foot-bath, and am going out again in a few 
 minutes. 
 
 This morning I was a little amused. I was just going 
 home to rest a little before dinner, when one of my 
 nurses came to me to say that one of the men in her 
 ward had a bad nose-bleed. They could not stop it : 
 what should be done ? I went over, applied the proper 
 remedies, and stopped the bleeding. He had a black 
 silk string tied round his little finger to stop it ! I 
 wonder what I shall hear of next. 
 
 Sunday afternoon. The sick have not come yet. 
 The boat they were on was passed in the night by the 
 " Minnehaha," who reported she would be in about ten 
 or twelve ; so our a*nbulauees went in, but have not yet 
 come out. It must be a terrible day for the sick. It 
 is very hot. We are ready for them nurses at their 
 posts. Last night, as I had finished my rounds, there 
 came along a woman and her baby, after nine at night. 
 She had just arrived, and was in search of her hus- 
 band, who was among the lately-arrived sick. The 
 clerk looked over the register, and found out where he 
 was, sent her round, and he was woke by his wife and 
 child ! This morning I found him with his baby in 
 his arms, trying to teach it to put its arms around his 
 neck, the mother looking on. It is very hot here, and 
 my room is very hot. The Doctor talks of moving me 
 over to the cottage where he lives. There is a large, cool
 
 110 MEMOIR OF 
 
 room there which he says belongs to me, in my charac- 
 ter of supervisor. I want a smaller room in the nurses 
 dining-house, as I think it more convenient. I tell 
 him it would be big enough, as neither I nor my dig- 
 nity are immense ; he laughed, and held his own opin- 
 ion. Where he will put me I do not know. He seems 
 to intend taking good care of me. I do wish the sick 
 would come, it is so much easier to make them com- 
 fortable when they come in the daytime than when 
 they come at night. They will be glad of a good, 
 clean bath-room, clean clothes, and beds. They are so 
 glad to escape the jar of the beds in the boat. The 
 engine shakes them very painfully. 
 
 They have been making a flag in another ward this 
 last week. It is a very handsome large one, has been 
 hung in the middle of the ward. It was fii'st hung out 
 of the window, that the world outside might know that 
 they had such a thing. I found a man fairly sinking 
 under home-sickness. He said he did not want a dis- 
 charge, only a furlough that he might see his wife and 
 children. I represented his case to the Doctor. Ho 
 said if the man could get well enough to do some light 
 work out-doors, so that he could be sent into the in- 
 valid brigade, he could have a furlough ; so I went 
 round to the man, told him about it ; he has been 
 mending ever since, and tells me he is now able to do 
 some light work. So I am to report him to the Doctor 
 accordingly.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAESONS. Ill 
 
 LETTER XXVI. 
 
 BEXTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 3. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, Our sick men came on Monday, and 
 glad they were to come, four hundred and sixteen; 
 then some more since, soon many more. I went round 
 among them looking after their comfort as well as I 
 could. They were from Vicksburg and Milliken's 
 Bend ; they had not seen a woman for a long time, 
 some of them. As I bent over one he said " It is a 
 long time since a lady had her hand on me." He 
 seemed so glad to be spoken to, and so were they all. 
 You cannot think how touching it was to see them 
 watch for a greeting and a touch of the hand. The 
 men who were bearing pain without murmur would 
 look up with a lip quivering like a child's and eyes full 
 of tears. My nurses were all ready at their posts ; as 
 one of them bent over a sick man he caught her hand 
 and pressed it to his lips, and they all had some way 
 of showing how gladly they felt the womanly sphere 
 around them. As I stop to speak to one. I see the 
 heads of the others turning and watching me, waiting 
 till they are spoken to. They are very shy of claiming 
 notice, sit very gravely till I speak, then the whole face 
 lights up, and the rough worn hands are held out. I have 
 a peculiar feeling about the hands that have bravely 
 carried a musket for the old flag. And the wounded too, 
 you cannot help feeling differently about such wounds
 
 112 MEMOIR OF 
 
 from any others. One of them had a badly wounded 
 hand. I told him he would be very proud of it by and 
 by, " Yes, indeed ! " was the reply. They most of 
 them have pictures of wives or children or some one 
 as dear. They like to show them to me. Many of the 
 new-comers found friends here, and there were many 
 greetings among them. The men are very patient. 
 Dr. Russell told me, that once off in Arkansas, as he 
 was taking care of the wounded after a battle, he came 
 upon one terribly wounded ; he remarked to him, " This 
 is a hard case, my dear brother," "Yes," said the 
 soldier, "but pointing upwards it is all right up 
 there." There is a great deal of that feeling among the 
 men. I asked a boy the other night, if he remembered 
 to say " Our Father " every night as he did to his 
 mother at home. He replied "Yes, ma'am," with such 
 a pleasant smile. I wish his mother could have heard 
 and seen him. 
 
 It is evening; I have just come in from my night 
 rounds ; there is a thunder-storm, but I cannot stay 
 at home for thunder-storms. Excuse my writing, 
 my eyes are tired, and I must write when I can. 
 To-morrow there is to be a great celebration for the 
 soldiers, in honor of the Fourth. The ladies of St. 
 Louis have got it up ; I hope the poor fellows will enjoy 
 it, but many are too sick to do so, and I must endeavor 
 to comfort them up. There is to be a dinner, &c. ; this 
 rain will cool off the weather and lay the dust very 
 conveniently. It is hot here. I asked the Doctor the 
 other day, if the ladies could have a bath-room for
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 113 
 
 themselves. He offered me the vise of one in the rear 
 of the office. I thankfully accepted, to-day I made use 
 of it ; though the water was muddy it was cool : oh, 
 how I did enjoy it ! I took the ladies round wheu 
 they were at leisure, and they were very much pleased. 
 The wards have very fine bath-rooms for the soldiers ; 
 it is a great luxury ; my respect for the Mississippi in- 
 creases daily. When new patients come, it is the rule 
 that they must take a bath before they put on their 
 clean clothes ; then each man has a clean shirt and 
 drawers and socks, and can go to bed or sit up as he 
 pleases. The poor fellows come out of the boat so 
 dirty and weary, they look like new beings when 
 they are refreshed by their baths and good food, and it 
 is so pleasant for them to be released from the crowded 
 boat jarring on their poor nerves, hot and unavoidably 
 dirty. No one who has not been on a hospital boat in 
 care of the sick can imagine what it is. It is the most 
 arduous of all the forms of nursing, in every respect. 
 
 LETTER XXVII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 4. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, This is to go with my two other 
 
 sheets. This morning out came the ladies to see about 
 
 their dinner. The great rotunda by the side of the 
 
 amphitheatre was for the soldiers from a distance, from 
 
 8
 
 114 MEMOIR OF 
 
 other hospitals and camps ; our own soldiers had their 
 dinner in the dining-rooms of their wards ; the ladies 
 setting the tables and waiting upon them ; each set of 
 ladies had a ward assigned to them. The tables were 
 very nicely set, flowers in the midst ; one vase had a 
 great pyramidal spray of yucca ; it took me straight 
 home. Oh ! yon cannot think what a longing comes 
 over me sometimes to go over the house and garden 
 and see yon all. I cannot allow myself to dwell upon 
 it : it would unsettle me. I shall stay here while I am 
 wanted and can be of use. When that is no longer 
 the case, I will try to find work somewhere else. It 
 is not so much matter where you work, as how you 
 work. 
 
 But to go back to the soldiers. Their tables were 
 covered with good things ; there were hundreds and 
 hundreds of men fed at them, and all seemed pleased. 
 After dinner there was speaking from a stand in the 
 large grove, and singing. Finally the different detach, 
 ments formed into order and marched to their hospital 
 homes and camps. One man just off a bed of severe 
 sickness, told me he had never missed a Fourth of July 
 in his life and he must go. I told him I thought it 
 would do him good, and he went. One of our old 
 patients, a German, seemed very glad to see me ; when 
 I bade him good-by he took my hand and kissed it. 
 I used to pay him a good deal of attention when he 
 was here. The old men and boys touch me the most. 
 I should like to have you see this place in early morn- 
 ing : it is beautiful. Very hot, but I find I can survive
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 115 
 
 it very well. Everybody tried to frighten me, but I 
 do not approve of that kind of soldiering. 
 
 LETTER XXVIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 5, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I posted a letter for you yesterday, 
 telling you about our Fourth. It does not seem to 
 have hurt anybody here. Mr. Burnell, the army mis- 
 sionary, who was on the boat when I went to Vicksburg, 
 came to see me this morning. While talking with me 
 he took up a copy of Mr. Silver's tract ; he looked at 
 it, and asked me if there were many of them printed. 
 I told him that was the last I had, and gave it to him. 
 He knew before that I was a Swedenborgian. Now 
 can you send me out a number of these tracts, and a 
 number of the short New Church tracts or little pam- 
 phlets 1 There need not be a great variety, but many 
 of each kind, if you can. You have no idea how much 
 we can do for the Church in these times. Men's 
 minds are opened as they never were before; you 
 would have to be among them to realize it fully. I am 
 summoned to one of the wards, and must stop for the 
 present. 
 
 July 6th. Twenty years ago to-night I broke my 
 ankle. What a poor little sufferer I was then ! Time 
 flies, does it not ? I went over to the wards yesterday,
 
 116 MEMOIR OF 
 
 in the midst of my letter. One of my nurses was sick, 
 and sent for me. " Oh ! " said she, " I thought I 
 should die if you were not at home to come to me." 
 1 worked over her till she felt better ; then travelled 
 on my rounds, got through the afternoon course, and 
 then went up to Mr. Yeatman's in the ambulance with 
 the doctor. We both wanted to see him on business ; 
 I about my nurses, and it was pleasanter going then 
 than in the heat of the day. We were asked to stay 
 to tea, but could not, for the doctor had business to 
 attend to, and I had to make an evening visit to very 
 sick men. So we drove home as fast as we could, and 
 I started out with my lantern, like Diogenes or Guy 
 Fawkes, whichever you like. As usual, a little to at- 
 tend to here and there. I wish I was wiser and better. 
 To-day I was talking to one of the men, and I told 
 him one of the uses of sickness was to make us think 
 about the Lord and religion. He told me he thought 
 so, that he had never thought much about such mat- 
 ters till he was sick, and now he thought of them. I 
 talked to him about it then, how little real matter 
 it was if the body suffered, if we had spiritual health 
 and the peace of God, and this very sickness brought 
 him nearer to that than he could have been without it. 
 He agreed to it all, and seemed glad to talk about 
 it. When all outward help fails, they want something 
 more, and they find they cannot stand alone. 
 
 Evening. I have just come in from my night 
 rounds. The night is a little cooler, and the men 
 feel better for it. I have been round looking at the
 
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 117 
 
 sickest men, seeing that they have what they need. I 
 get so many kindly hand-grasps as I go my rounds. 
 One poor sick boy does not like it, if I do not speak to 
 him every time I go round. 
 
 July 7. I have finished my morning rounds, and 
 have a few minutes : do you want them 1 I should 
 like a good New England east-wind ; it would be per- 
 fectly refreshing, the air is so sultry to-day. I do not 
 think the heat here so hard to bear as it is with you ; 
 it is not such a dry heat, not so burning, but neither 
 is it so healthy. I get along very well, and drink as 
 much water as I want. I suppose I have got through 
 my acclimatizing process ; I hope I have. The men 
 seem mending : we are ready for more. 
 
 Afternoon. There is immense excitement, news 
 that Vicksburg is taken ! One of the principal streets 
 of St. Louis is lined with flags. We shall have sick 
 and wounded enough now. 
 
 LETTER XXIX. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 8. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, .... The news about Vicksburg 
 is confirmed, and all are duly excited ; being on the 
 same river brings it very near to us. The river is now 
 open, but I tremble to think at what a probable 
 cost. It is extremely hot here, and must be still hot-
 
 118 MEMOIR OF 
 
 ter there. Thousands of men are wounded and sick : 
 I hope we shall have them here. Our men are conva- 
 lescing fast ; that is, the greater part. We have over 
 a thousand, sending off as fast as we can to convales- 
 cent camps and hospitals, to make room for the new- 
 comers : we shall be very full. This is what we have 
 been waiting for ; till Vicksburg fell, they could only 
 send a limited number of the sick ; now all will be 
 sent that can possibly be moved, either here or to 
 Memphis. It is not so healthy there as here ; there- 
 fore as many will be sent north as can be ; they travel 
 on the boats in beds quite well. I wish it were not so 
 intensely hot ; it is hard for the sick, this month and 
 August will be like a fiery furnace. I am glad I am 
 here, able to do something. As I told one of my 
 nurses this morning, it is of no use minding the heat ; 
 we must make up our minds in the beginning to bear 
 it this month. August and September are very hot; 
 but in September we have some cool days, and the 
 nights are then cooler than the days, which is a great 
 comfort after working all day. Winter will come be- 
 fore we know it. I am drinking new milk for supper 
 now ; that has done me good ; I buy it at the sutler's; 
 she keeps a cow. I have what the calf does not want ; 
 I am afraid he does not love me. ... Is not the news 
 all around good] Lee in retreat, or cut off, which is 
 still better, and here, this long and trying siege over. 
 These were the two points on which so much has de- 
 pended lately. I do not think you realize the immense 
 importance of the opening of the Mississippi. It alters
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 119 
 
 the position of the whole army of the West, and gives 
 the greatest blow to the rebels. It was their stronghold ; 
 and they clung to it with a full knowledge of the fact. 
 The Rebel general, Garnett, was the husband of one of 
 my nurses; she saw his death in the papers this morn- 
 ing ; she told me of it. He ran away from her with 
 some one else, disposed of his property so that she could 
 not get any of it, they were wealthy, then entered 
 the rebel army. Now he is dead. His wife is a beau- 
 tiful woman, I should think about twenty-five. She 
 has clung to the hope that he would return to her. 
 She is obliged to do something for her support, I un- 
 derstand. This is a hard world to some. The losses 
 have been very heavy on both sides; many officers 
 gone. My other nurses had relatives at Vicksburg; 
 one other a husband, others brothers and friends. I 
 have to try and help patients and nurses both now. 
 I hope help will be sent to us if we need it. I found 
 in one of the wards a strong man of forty, his lip 
 quivering so he could hardly speak to me. His son 
 was in the fight, and he has not heard whether he is 
 alive or dead ; and so it is, all round. 
 
 One of the boys here is very ill ; his father came to 
 see him, and found him asleep. When the boy woke 
 there was his father by his bedside. You may imagine 
 the meeting ! The old father sits by the bedside fan- 
 ning him, and he lies with his hand on his father's knee. 
 There is an old man here who has been running down 
 for some time, and so homesick ! A few days ago his 
 wife got here ; there was a general rejoicing over her in
 
 120 MEMOIR OF 
 
 the ward ; we were so glad she had come to him. The 
 nurses congratulated them both ; it has done him real 
 good. There was another man here very ill, growing 
 worse daily. I wrote to his wife to come to him ; and 
 one day when I entered the ward, there she svas ! I 
 got a warm greeting from her. She brightened him 
 up, nursed him as only a wife can, night and day. I 
 let her stay in the ward, sleeping in the lady nurses' 
 room. He by and by began to mend, and was well 
 enough last week to go home with his wife. If he 
 gets well I do believe it will be due to her ; I think 
 she saved his life. Is not that a happy thought for a 
 wife? 
 
 Talking of other people's homes makes me think of 
 my mother. I am very happy here now, and I think 
 people like me tolerably well. I should like to be here 
 till the war was over; but I do not know where I shall 
 be placed or sent. I am not quite acclimated yet ; 
 little things hurt me. If I could have been well and 
 strong at Vicksburg, so as to be as useful as a surgical 
 nurse, as I know how to be, I should have gone there 
 three weeks ago ; as it is, I am -more useful here, per- 
 haps more so at any rate, for I have a great deal to 
 look after, and I try to do all I have strength for. My 
 position brings me into many pleasant relations with 
 others. I have no time to accept the courtesies offered 
 me ; but it is pleasant to think I am thought of and 
 cared for. More than one house has been opened to 
 me, with the request that^-I would consider it a home 
 at all times, especially if I were sick. So I shall not
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 121 
 
 feel so forloni again as I did when I came up the river 
 sick, and thought what a little fool I was to come 
 West, where I could not keep well and do my work. 
 I have got well, and work as usefully as I could any- 
 where. I think I work easier because I am so much 
 thinner ; they call me here " the little lady." . . . 
 Caterpillars have come, but I take them among all other 
 exigencies. I think of sending you a collection of the 
 insects that enter my room, either by flying or walking, 
 only I should probably be obliged to send it by the 
 freight train. They vary in size, but all bite, except 
 the flies, and they go down your throat if you open 
 your mouth at all. I speak from personal experience. 
 I want you should be sure and tell me if father has 
 his yacht this summer. I do so hope he has. I wish 
 I could see a good large fish for old acquaintance' 
 sake. 
 
 LETTER XXX. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 12, 1863. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have wanted all the week to 
 write to you, and hope I shall now succeed. On 
 Thursday many more sick came, mostly wounded. It 
 was a very hot day, and we had our hands full. As I 
 went from ward to ward, I could not help thinking 
 how many there were still unhelped. I found many 
 so exhausted they could not eat. I had a quantity of
 
 122 MEMOIR OF 
 
 broth and soup provided, that they could drink, and it 
 did them good. If they can be brought up from that 
 first stage of exhaustion, it is a great point gained. 
 After I thought all provided for, I went for some din- 
 ner myself; then back to the wards again. As I went 
 through one ward, the surgeon of it, Dr. G., told 
 me that there were several wounded carried into two 
 other wards, and that the surgeon of those wards was 
 off in the city ! (I think he heard of it afterwards.) 
 You may imagine I was in those wards in about five 
 minutes, and commenced examining the wounds. 
 Soon, over came Dr. G. himself, to my great delight. 
 He gave his directions, and the men were made com- 
 fortable as possible. One of them will lose either the 
 whole or a part of his hand. There was no female 
 nurse in the ward he was in, and the Doctor of the 
 ward was not to be compared to the one who went 
 over with me ; so I wanted to have this man and one 
 other up in his ward. I went over to Dr. Russell, and 
 asked him if they might be transferred. " Certainly," 
 was the reply. I had the worst case put on a stretcher 
 and carried over. The boy was placed in a nice bed, 
 every thing arranged right around him, and a pleasant 
 nurse watching over him ; he looked like another be- 
 ing, he was so happy, he fairly laughed. It was very 
 hot, and the wards were really uncomfortable. I went 
 to every one after supper, and had shades taken away 
 from windows ; they were opened as much as possible, 
 and every ward watered "profusely, like the streets, 
 with watering-pots ; it makes the greatest possible dif-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 123 
 
 ference in the temperature. If you would go without 
 a carpet in your drawing-room and water it well, you 
 would find out ! Finally I went to bed in a room like 
 an oven. Since then we have been busy enough. 
 
 The city was brilliantly illuminated yesterday, and 
 music and flags to give it all due eclat. I did not go 
 in, for Dr. Russell did not think it best for the lady 
 nurses to go, as there was no one to take care of them, 
 and I did not think it right to accept my invitation 
 after being obliged to say no to them. So I staid 
 at home. We had an afternoon celebration out here. 
 Some of the employe's subscribed, and procured the 
 services of an excellent band. The Doctor ordered an 
 excellent dinner of various good things, and had a plat- 
 form erected in the grove, and seats carried out, so that 
 the men could celebrate it in their own fashion. About 
 eleven, the band appeared in an open car decorated 
 with flags, and drawn by four horses. They drove into 
 the gates, preceded by the provost-sergeant on horse- 
 back, playing the national airs. In this style they 
 drove slowly round all the hospital buildings, then to 
 the stand. After dinner, we all went down ; the ladies 
 had reserved seats near the platform. The Doctor was 
 on the platform, but the soldiers had the meeting after 
 their own fashion, and the speaking was very good. 
 You would be surprised to hear how well the soldiers 
 speak. They fear nobody, and speak in the most 
 graphic manner. 
 
 Richard's death surprised me very much. He was a 
 dear, good boy, one of the pleasantest I ever knew. I
 
 124 MEMOIR OF 
 
 have become so familiar with death that it no longer 
 affects me as it once did. I have got to thinking of it 
 as I do of my friends continually setting out for this 
 place or that. The other world seems very near, at 
 times. I have been with a dying man to-night ; he 
 was very quiet. I said the prayer to him ; he seemed 
 very much pleased ; said " That was good." He held 
 my hand clasped in his all the while I sat by him. 
 
 I am busier than ever, I am happy to say, and they 
 seem satisfied with me. I shall work as long as they 
 give me anything to do. I should no more think of 
 giving up than my brother Chauncy would. I am so 
 glad I can be of some use too ; it is a great comfort. I 
 hope now that I shall always be doing as long as I 
 live. When my power to do ceases, I want to go. 
 
 I expect five new nurses this week or next, and more 
 by and by. We can accommodate twenty-five hun- 
 dred patients now, if required, and we shall fill up 
 fast ; we have not many over thirteen hundred sick, 
 besides convalescents in the invalid brigade. I get 
 confused sometimes with so many faces, as I go from 
 bed to bed. 
 
 My bandage roller is over in one of the wards, doing 
 daily work; it is a most useful little thing. If the 
 ladies wish to send out something very useful, I wish 
 they would get us some of the iron bandage rollers 
 they have for sale at Metcalf's, Tremont Row. They 
 are cheap, and very serviceable ; they screw on to the 
 table. I merely make the suggestion, as a way in 
 which a little money would go a great way. You can
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 125 
 
 hardly think how necessary they are in a surgical 
 ward, where they are constantly rolling and unrolling 
 bandages. Lint is wanted ; scraped lint more than 
 thread. I understand that the city hospitals will, 
 some of them, be closed, and the sick and wounded 
 sent here ; also we expect them up the river all the 
 time, as fast as they can be moved. 
 
 LETTER XXXI. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 July 19. 
 
 MY DEAR MOTHER, I suppose you are sitting down 
 to dinner just now ; I wonder what you have got. I 
 am busy as ever, and with a prospect of more to do. * 
 
 We expect many more from down the river. I am 
 so glad it is opened ; there is such rejoicing over it ; 
 you have no idea at the East what the Mississippi is 
 to the the West ; it is the ocean, the great highway of 
 commerce, as well as a great thoroughfare. 
 
 I wonder what I shall do with myself when the war 
 is over ; I never can sit down and do nothing. I ex- 
 pect seven more nurses this week. We have about 
 sixteen or seventeen hundred men here, many of whom 
 are to be sent off, either home or on discharge, or back 
 to the regiment or to convalescent camps. 
 
 You would be very much interested in some of the 
 men here ; I read to some of them as I go round, and
 
 126 MEMOIR OF 
 
 they listen so attentively, making such thoughtful, 
 good remarks that it is very pleasant. 
 
 Afternoon. It is very hot this afternoon sultry 
 and close. Mr. Yeatman has received forty bottles of 
 choice brandy from Boston. Shall I ever see the dear 
 old crooked town again? I like the West, its large, 
 free life, its magnificent river, and generous-hearted 
 people, opening hearts and doors to you. I should 
 like to have you see it. 
 
 I never expect to live at home again, I shall always 
 be working somewhere or other, I hope. Work is my 
 life. I cannot be happy doing nothing. I must go out 
 to the wards now. 
 
 Evening. I have come from my night round. I 
 have visited many, read to a few, talked to others. 
 I wish you could see the hands stretched out to mine 
 when I go round. The other day a man showed me 
 the ambrotype of his wife, and told me he had lived 
 with her twenty-four years, and had the first cross 
 word to hear from her yet ; I thought that was a wife 
 worth having. Yesterday, as I was passing through a 
 ward, a woman came in very quickly, ran up to a bed 
 on which one of the patients was sitting, and flung her 
 arms round him ; it was his wife. I wish you could 
 have seen the meeting. I did not see her face, only 
 her husband saw that. The color all went out of his 
 face, and she, woman-like, immediately began fanning 
 him, doing something for him at once ; that is our 
 women's proper way ; we were sent into the world to 
 do good. One of our best nurses is going to Vicksburg.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 127 
 
 Mr. Yeatman applied to me for her, and I felt obliged 
 to let her go. I went in town with her to make all 
 necessary arrangements for her. This is a queer life, 
 in all its phases. I had a supper of ice-cream to-night, 
 in town ; I hope I was not extravagant, but I did want 
 something besides rations; it was real good, as the 
 children say. 
 
 LETTER XXXII. 
 
 I BOUGHT myself a pair of birds ; I would not care 
 for one. I like to hear them talk together. I got the 
 prettiest I could, and the prettiest cage ; they make 
 me feel quite at home ; you do not know what a com- 
 fort their little voices are. I have a passion-flower, a 
 most beautiful variety, and it blossoms in my cham- 
 ber ; a lemon tree that I planted ; it has four leaves ! 
 I feel at home for the present. I wish I had time to 
 write more. 
 
 LETTER XXXIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 August 9. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I suppose you are at home by this 
 time and ready for a letter from me. I am busy as 
 ever. Our good Doctor Dr. Ira Russell goes home 
 this week on a furlough of twenty days. He says he
 
 128 MEMOIR OF 
 
 shall try to go out to Cambridge and see you and 
 father ; now if he comes please do all you can for him ; 
 he has been a most kind friend to me, instructing me 
 in my duties, supporting me on all occasions, and tak- 
 ing care of me in the kindest manner. He is very 
 anxious to see his wife and children and so takes this 
 furlough. A surgeon from another hospital takes his 
 place while he is gone. I am desired to keep on, so 
 suppose I shall. I shall try conscientiously to do my 
 work, and then if it does not suit I shall feel that I am 
 not to blame. It is hot here now, but I do not mind 
 it, I feel better than usual in hot weather. Your 
 boxes will do great good, the soft linen was exactly 
 what we wanted, the bandages also. Every thing was 
 needed and gladly received ; the cologne was very re- 
 freshing, this hot weather it is doubly needed. I wish 
 I could see you for a little while, would not we talk ] 
 I should have so many questions to ask. Is there 
 anything new in Cambridge ] I wonder whether I 
 shall be lonesome when I get to Heaven. I mean to 
 go there ; I must be where there is the Bible and little 
 children ; I hope I shall have the care of little children 
 by and by. 
 
 I stopped writing to go and see a dying man ; he 
 was peaceful and quiet though a little wandering ; there 
 was the most beautiful presence, or sphere, around 
 him ; the good spirits must be very near, close and 
 ready to help. It always seems to me when I think 
 of it like a birth in this world, when all are ready to 
 welcome and meet the new-comer. If our spiritual
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 129 
 
 sight were opened what a beautiful sight we should 
 see ! all those waiting spirits and their tender loving 
 care. I feel a little homesick to-night, but if I were to 
 give up my work and go home I could not be happy, 
 so I must be thankful I am here. 
 
 LETTER XXXIV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 September 10. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I thought you would like a letter 
 from me. They say they shall never let me go down 
 the river again. They seem to think I am worth keep- 
 ing alive. We have among our nurses one little woman 
 whose husband is at Vicksburg, and since she came here 
 her little child died. It was brought to the hospital 
 and she took care of it here ; it died in her room. I 
 was with it when it died ; the poor mother sat with her 
 head buried on my shoulder ; she could not look on. 
 She was very much overcome. I repeated to her the 
 Lord's prayer, and that quieted her. I sent for the 
 chaplain, and we had the funeral service in the chapel. 
 I got a quantity of delicate flowers, and they perfectly 
 covered the little thing with them as it lay in its 
 coffin. I have been by many death-beds ; but this was 
 the first by a little child. The mother is still here ; 
 she wished to remain. I can hardly believe the summer 
 has gone, it seems to have flown by j the autumn begins 
 
 9
 
 130 MEMOIR OF 
 
 to show itself, leaves falling and autumn tints com- 
 ing ; it is very warm here still ; our warm weather lasts 
 till late. I suppose you have my copy of the rules. I 
 thought it would interest you. 
 
 The hospital is working on as usual ; I am doing my 
 part steadily, and appear to suit ; I use all my strength 
 and I can do no more. I may as well do this as any- 
 thing else ; I cannot fight, but I can take care of the 
 fighters. There is a young man here who has been 
 through eleven battles and is now shot through the 
 chest. I am afraid his life will not be a long one. 
 These chest wounds are very dangerous things ; I had 
 rather see a man wounded almost any where else. 
 Just a little hole, perhaps healed up and the hurt in- 
 side ; a little more pain, a little harder breathing, and 
 weaker and weaker day by day ; so they go. I have 
 some curious experiences by their bedsides. I shall 
 never be able to settle down into a do-nothing life 
 again ; I shall want to work while I live. I have not 
 been very well this summer, though the heat has not 
 troubled me. I have never been so well as I was in 
 the early cool days, but I feel better and I am evidently 
 getting acclimated, but it takes time. I can drink the 
 water, and have had neither the chills nor cholera. My 
 habit of cold water bathing is a great preservative 
 against disease. 
 
 I wish I was not deaf, I am afraid I shall never be 
 reconciled to it. Please tell me the news at home. 
 What is going on, who is in Cambridge and who has 
 left ; whom do you see of the inhabitants 1 I had a
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 131 
 
 letter fromSusan Dixwellwith a charming photograph 
 of her club and her piazza; it made me homesick. Only 
 think ; the seasons have come round, the flowers come 
 and gone, and I have not seen them. Please send me 
 a dandelion or clover from your lawn in your next letter. 
 How I should like to see some of my friends unless 
 they have forgotten me, out of sight out of mind 
 is very apt to be true. My birds are lovely and a 
 great comfort to me. Do write soon ; I am contented 
 to stay now, and thankful for the work. 
 
 Soon after this letter was written my daughter's 
 health began to fail. In autumn the malarial 
 diseases of that region are prevalent. She be- 
 came seriously ill, and at length it was determined 
 that she must return home. She left St. Louis in 
 October, and when she reached Cambridge, was 
 carried from car to carriage, and from the carriage 
 to the house. Her health was gradually restored, 
 and she thought herself well enough to resume 
 duties, and returned to St. Louis, reaching that city 
 on March 3, 1864. 
 
 LETTER XXXV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 March 12, 1864. 
 
 DARLING MOTHER, I was so glad to get your letter 
 yesterday. I wanted to answer it right off, but had
 
 132 MEMOIR OF 
 
 not time, there was so much to do. My head fairly 
 ached, so much coming into it all at once it could not 
 quite hold it all. We have many patients here, very 
 sick men among them. All sorts of sicknesses, and I 
 am sorry to say, small-pox still appears. We had four 
 cases in one ward to-day ; they were removed to the 
 small-pox hospital on the river. No small-pox cases 
 remain in this hospital for treatment. We have the 
 erysipelas cases however, and that is about as bad while 
 it lasts. We have twenty-six cases of this alone; the 
 other sick count by hundreds. There is one ward 
 where we have colored women and children ; it is very 
 funny, the queerest little pickaninnies ! 
 
 I had a very pleasant visit at the Chauvenets ; I 
 came out and saw the Doctor every day, and went 
 over nurses with Mr. Yeatman. I came out finally 
 on Wednesday ; my baggage came out the next day ; 
 I have my old room, neatly arranged and every thing 
 I need. 
 
 There are a great number of frost-bites in the hos- 
 pital. The negroes lay in the woods and fields in cold 
 weather while escaping from their masters. The foot of 
 one man is off nearly to his ancle ; but he is bright and 
 cheery : freedom seems to be the main thing. I had a 
 great many warm greetings from old friends ; I hope I 
 shall be able to be of use here yet.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAKSONS. 133 
 
 LETTEE XXXVI. 
 
 BENTON BAREACKS HOSPITAL, 
 March 16. 
 
 DEAR KITTIE, I thought you would like to hear 
 from me once in a while. I am busy among the sick, 
 both colored and white. The white are pretty sick, 
 but hardly so much so as the colored. We have had 
 many cases of the small-pox and erysipelas. I found 
 a case of small-pox and one of varioloid this morning 
 the first ward I entered. The poor man with small- 
 pox looked up so sadly at me as I covered him up. 
 The colored people are very grateful for all that is 
 done for them. I have a great many smiles as I go 
 round among them. We are trying to train colored 
 women as nurses among the blacks ; it is a difficult 
 task, but one worth trying. We put them under white 
 nurses, two or more colored women to one white nurse. 
 In regard to the latter we hold to our old rule of 
 employing for nurses only women of character and 
 respectable position. They are more responsible than 
 others, and a person cannot know too much for a nurse. 
 It is 'a very serious position. We have one large 
 ward, or rather building, devoted to women and chil- 
 dren. The children are generally well, being taken in 
 as accompaniments to their mammas ; there are nine- 
 teen pickanninies in this ward. Ask mother if she would 
 like one. Some are very pretty ; I can have as many 
 as I want. The men are trying hard to learn to read
 
 134 MEMOIR OF 
 
 and write, though the latter accomplishment is confined 
 to few. One woman came this morning bringing her 
 baby ; it had a harelip and I have asked Dr. Russell 
 to operate upon it to-morrow morning. He says he 
 will. I suppose I shall assist. I wonder what I shall 
 do next. I asked the mother's permission, telling her 
 the baby would look as pretty as she did ! She looked 
 pleased, and consented. She is quite good looking. 
 We are whitewashing, and expect that will check some 
 of the diseases ; it also makes everything look nice and 
 clean. 
 
 LETTER XXXVII. 
 
 BENTON BARUACKS HOSPITAL, 
 March 18. 
 
 MY DEAR MOTHER, I have been wishing to write 
 to you, but have not had time ; I am very busy. To- 
 day I was busy from the time I got up till after seven 
 to-night. I should be busy in the evening too, but Dr. 
 Russell has forbidden my making night rounds while 
 the evenings are so chilly ; he is afraid I shall have 
 pneumonia if I am exposed to night air, in addition to 
 being over the sick so much. I think the men are 
 mending, though we still have several deaths every 
 week. This pneumonia makes sad work among the 
 colored people ; they cannot resist it as well as the 
 whites. It is just a year since I was so sick at Mrs. 
 Chauvenet's ; now I am well. I hope I shall do what
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 135 
 
 is right. I do not think I am very wise. Mr. Yeat- 
 man was here this afternoon, and I went over the 
 hospital with him and Dr. Russell. We have many 
 sick here now. The blacks are attending school ; there 
 are sixty-five scholars in the chapel. I went the other 
 morning to hear them sing, they sang of the other 
 life and its peace ; it was very touching. Truly this 
 other life is the all in all. There is an old Methodist 
 hymn " Let Jesus find us waiting on the shore ; " a 
 sick girl I was taking care of in the Boston Hospital 
 sang it to me when she was half unconscious. I hope 
 I shall be " waiting on the shore." I have very much 
 the same duties here that I had last summer. I am 
 going to try and profit by what I learnt then, to act 
 more wisely now ; I think it is time that every year of 
 my life should be spent a little better than the one that 
 went before it ; I surely have had teaching enough to 
 learn to trust. I have been busy this afternoon in 
 taking down the names and dates of entrance of our 
 colored nurses ; it was a work of time to get hold of 
 all the data. We have ten now, and shall have 
 more. I think the colored people very interesting. 
 They are kindly and warm-hearted. I amused the 
 Doctor very much by announcing the arrival of another 
 little black baby yesterday morning. There have been 
 so many of them in that ward that the Doctor has 
 named it the " Recruiting Infantry Station." The 
 grass here is growing green notwithstanding the cold. 
 A month more will make a great difference here, the 
 trees will be coming out then. One of my nurses, who
 
 136 MEMOIR OF 
 
 came up from Memphis, says the spring flowers are iu 
 bloom there. I hope you and father are well. You 
 must pray for me and that will help me. I do for 
 you. Good-night. 
 
 LETTER XXXVIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 March 21. 
 
 DARLING MOTHER, I felt a little lonely to-night, 
 so thought I would write a line to you. I do not go 
 out evenings on account of pneumonia ; the Doctor is 
 afraid of my having it. I get very tired in the day- 
 time and am glad to rest when night comes. Is there 
 any news with you 1 Do tell me how your wrist is, and 
 how you and father are generally. I feel already 
 as if I had drifted far off away from you all. I work 
 over our poor colored soldiers, and they are so grateful 
 for our care. They are as pleasant to take care of as 
 white soldiers, and the wards are as nice, both with 
 regard to comfort and order. We have water enough* 
 the Mississippi has not yet given out, and the reservoir 
 has been cleaned. We have a new arrangement here 
 now ; the great amphitheatre is to be what is called a 
 general hospital, that is a hospital that takes in any 
 patients that the military, government sends. The 
 outside wards, or buildings, are mostly for the post hos- 
 pital ; that is, they only take the soldiers from the adja-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 137 
 
 cent military post of Benton Barracks. The general 
 hospital is to be entirely for colored soldiers. It is to 
 be the colored hospital ; we shall probably have colored 
 soldiers from down the river. There are over seventy 
 thousand colored soldiers in the Western army. There 
 is a great interest excited here with regard to their 
 care and treatment. Some of the most influential men 
 at the West are taking up the matter. This hospital 
 is doing a great work, not merely by taking care of 
 their bodies, but by bringing around them noble, 
 devoted men and women who give the blacks the 
 place which freedmen should have, and treat them 
 rightly and make others treat them rightly. There is 
 too much of a feeling among many here that they 
 must be treated like inferior beings ; they are only 
 inferior from neglect, that is, in many respects ; I hope 
 I shall see my way clear to do my duty by them and 
 all. If you have any thoughts about it in any way, 
 let me have them, for you always help me. 
 
 LETTER XXXIX. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 4. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I received letters from grand- 
 mother and Kittie on Saturday ; they were very kind to 
 write, Kittie's letter I especially appreciated, it must 
 have taxed her eyes; she writes very entertaining
 
 138 MEMOIR OF 
 
 letters. She does not speak of having received my 
 letter ; now I wrote to her, to Chauncy and Carrie ; 
 have they got the letters 1 I should be pleased to 
 know. I am tired and have a stiff neck, growing 
 rheumatic in my old age ; Dr. Russell gave me some 
 liniment to rub on it. 
 
 I am busy, and hope I am of use. The colored men 
 have a hospital of their own now ; the whole amphi- 
 theatre is turned into a general hospital for colored 
 men, soldiers. But you have no idea of the opposition 
 it excites among the Copperheads. If you speak of 
 treating the colored people kindly in a general way, as 
 you speak of your cats and dogs, they have no objec- 
 tion ; but if you carry out before their eyes the fact of 
 their being freedmen, by treating them on an equality, 
 there is no end of the opposition. There are, in the 
 city of St. Louis, a number of intelligent colored 
 women, ladies, in fact, many of them, well educated 
 and wealthy ; lady -like in manners and conversation. 
 Now, mother, would you believe it 1 till very lately if 
 one of these women got into a street-car she must not 
 sit down inside, but stand on the platform among men 
 who would and often do treat them rudely. The only ex- 
 ception made is this ; these colored women have got up 
 a colored Union Society among themselves ; it has been 
 in operation about six months. There has existed in 
 St. Louis, a Society for the colored among the white 
 ladies since the beginning of the war. These ladies 
 visit the hospital constantly, taking comforts to the 
 sick. The colored ladies wished the right of visiting
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 139 
 
 their soldiers in this hospital, and they have at last 
 obtained the privilege of riding in the cars on one day in 
 the week, viz. Saturday. Some of them coming out a 
 week ago were deliberately insulted by a white lady 
 who was coming out to visit our soldiers. This is the 
 state of things here. 
 
 Efforts are being made by every friend of the freed- 
 man to give them their rights. Dr. Russell has been 
 fighting for it all winter; he has gained a great deal 
 for them, but it has awakened a spirit of opposition 
 that I had no conception of. It is not to be given up, 
 however. Mr. Yeatman, B. Gratz Brown, Senator 
 from St. Louis, Dr. Eliot, Stanton at Washington, all 
 have hold of this thing, all trying more or less to 
 have it righted. The names I have mentioned are but 
 a few of those who are working for this cause. We 
 have a great deal to do. I hope that the colored 
 people will have an equal right to all public convey- 
 ances soon ; I had quite an interesting conversation 
 with a Lieut-Colonel Clendennan this afternoon about 
 it. He is a firm Abolitionist, his men (colored) are 
 stationed at the barracks close by ; when he comes out in 
 the cars he always insists that the colored soldiers shall 
 ride as well as the white men. He told me many things 
 which interested me very much ; he is very handsome, 
 and his fine face lighted up as he talked of the poor 
 people he was working with and for. He told me an 
 amusing anecdote of a Confederate damsel who wished 
 to pass out of the way of those horrid Yankees ; she was 
 passed through our lines some forty miles to Vicksburg.
 
 140 MEMOIR OF 
 
 It was during the siege. On getting in, she told the 
 commandant she wished to go to St. Charles. Why, 
 that was in possession of Colonel So-and-so, with a few 
 thousand Yankees, and so on at every place she named. 
 At last she exclaimed, " Where can I go to be out of the 
 way of the Yankees 1 " " Go to the devil ! Madam ! " 
 I am glad some of the Confederates have a realizing 
 sense of their condition. One of my prayers is that 
 we may all be united again, in peace and good-will. 
 
 LETTER XL. 
 
 BENTOK BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 April 9. 
 
 IN my last letter I gave you an account of the 
 colored ladies' Union Aid Society. This afternoon, one 
 of the leading members came to see me. She is a well 
 educated and intelligent woman ; her occupation that of 
 a hair-dresser ; she is married, and she and her husband 
 are respectable honest people. Her name is Lee. She 
 and her friends are trying to do all they can for their 
 brethren. They visit them, teach them to read, read to 
 them, and comfort them in many ways. I think, mother, 
 that the work of this time is something like that of 
 the early Christians among the poor and lowly. You 
 have hardly an idea in Massachusetts of the work there 
 is to be done. I used to think the statements of aboli- 
 tionists extreme, and that their views were sometimes
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 141 
 
 irrational ; now I wonder that people acquainted with 
 the facts can keep any bounds at all. I heard things 
 to day that would make your blood run cold. And 
 this place is the very centre of such opinions ; the very 
 hot -bed for them. And I do believe that is one reason 
 that this hospital for colored soldiers has been permitted 
 to be established in their midst ; for it is doing more 
 than taking care of their bodies ; it is bringing to the 
 surface facts, and establishing precedents face to face 
 with the enemy. It js storming the citadel. When I 
 look upon this great amphitheatre, dropped down in the 
 midst of all this, and close by a city, the centre of so 
 much of this Western world, I think there is no place 
 where it could be put, where it would come more in 
 contact with the forces against it than here. I hope 
 you will some time see this place. 
 
 Mr. Yeatman told me that at present he did not 
 need more teachers; as for nurses we must employ first 
 those already in the service of the Sanitary Com- 
 mission who have approved themselves, or those whom 
 Miss Dix sends out. There is the objection to sending 
 East for nurses, that it is a long way, and I should 
 not like to be responsible for any one whom I had not 
 known as a tried nurse. The objections to it are 
 obvious ; if we were close by her home it would not be 
 so hard for her to come and try. 
 
 I have had a stiff neck and pain of a rheumatic kind 
 in my shoulder ; the Doctor gave me some liniment to 
 rub on ; it did me good. Dr. Russell has also moved 
 me into a larger and pleasanter room where I have good 
 air and am comfortable.
 
 142 MEMOIR OF 
 
 I suppose the green buds are bursting on the trees 
 and the grass growing greener and thicker. I should 
 like to go to some beautiful country and enjoy myself 
 out doors like a pussy cat or squirrel; I do love the 
 country. It will be one year next Friday since I came 
 to this hospital to stay. How much I have gone* 
 through since then ! I hope to do right wherever I 
 may be. I have had a very bad cough, but am nearly 
 well now and have a good appetite. I have all I need, 
 I suppose. When I have all I can get I like to think 
 so. 
 
 LETTER XLI. 
 
 BEXTON BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 
 May 7. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, We are having very warm weather ; 
 too hot to be absolutely pleasant, but the trees are be- 
 ginning to be beautiful, and the grass is lovely, 
 such a beautiful green ! Our sick here are, for the 
 most part, getting well ; this weather is doing them 
 good ; the coughs are leaving them, and appetites fast 
 coming to them. One of my nurses is just getting 
 over the measles, and another down with erysipelas, 
 very sick ; I feel anxious about her. I wonder what 
 you are all doing at home. I am afraid there will be 
 heavy work here. Down by the river, as well as in the 
 Southern States, our news is" not good. Three years 
 since Sumter surrendered ! But we have done much
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 143 
 
 in that time; and now, I hope, the end is a little 
 nearer. I do not want to give up working among the 
 soldiers while the war lasts ; it is pleasant to help if 
 it is ever so little. And I shall not be of any particu- 
 lar use to anybody when the war is over, for all I am 
 good for is to nurse, and tie up compound fractures. 
 I am glad I am good for something. To-morrow is 
 Sunday; I shall think of you all. I enclose a photo- 
 graph of a slave woman. Her hair is the color of 
 Kittie's, only brighter brown ; her complexion Saxon, 
 so much so that, if she were in a room with white 
 persons, you would not know she was not white also. 
 She is probably octoroon. She is prettier than her 
 picture, she has such a beautiful complexion. She has 
 been a slave till now. I shall have some queer things 
 to tell you that I do not dare put on paper. I have a 
 pretty bouquet on my table that one of my nurses sent 
 me. Flowers are late this year. But we shall all soon 
 be where the flowers are never late and the spring-time 
 never blighted. I suppose you are busy getting ready 
 for summer. I hope you are comfortably arranged 
 now. I wish I could write you an entertaining letter, 
 but I have so few ideas, and I feel dull and stupid. 
 My sick men care for me, and their faces brighten 
 when I go to them ; I am glad there are some people 
 in the world happier for my having lived in it.
 
 144 MEMOIR OF 
 
 LETTER XLII. 
 
 BENTOX BARRACKS HOSPITAL, 
 May 12. 
 
 DEAR KITTIE, I thought you would like to hear 
 from me. I am going on in my usual routine among my 
 sick. I think you would be interested in our colored 
 boys, they are trying hard to learn to read and to write ; 
 I tell them I am very glad, the more they know the more 
 of men they will be ; yes, they say, they know that ; 
 but it pleases them to have it said to them. They are 
 quite a religious set, and on Sunday, those who can 
 read, are quite diligent over their Bibles. The other 
 Sunday I took my Book of Psalms into one of the 
 wards and read to those who were sick in bed ; I 
 read those comforting promises, and then told them 
 these words were for all of us, and how near the Lord 
 was to them ; that when they were off in camp again, 
 or fighting for the old flag, he was close by ready to 
 help them whenever they asked Him. It was a very 
 pleasant thought to them. I told them also how He 
 loved them. The poor souls have not had much love 
 shown them in this life and it is very pleasant to them to 
 think of such love being all ready for them, now and 
 hereafter. The colored female nurses are improving 
 and are of much use. They have a table to themselves, 
 and this morning I was quite amused to find a wail 
 coming up because they did hot have corn bread and 
 fried meat ; the frying pan and corn bread are tieces-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 145 
 
 saries of life to the negroes. I reported to Dr. Russell 
 who desired me to draw up a bill of fare in accord- 
 ance with their peculiar dietary views and have it 
 carried out in their kitchen. I have done so and 
 hope they will be satisfied and I shall not be informed 
 again they have " nothing fit to eat," because they 
 have flour bread and boiled beef. I was visiting the 
 patients this morning and came to quite a forlorn 
 specimen. Did he want anything ? " Yes, an apple.'* 
 I asked the nurse if the Doctor let him eat apples ; 
 "Yes, and he has one now," and turning down the bed 
 clothes there was an apple half eaten in his hand. 
 The rogue had got one out of the nurse and meant 
 to get another out of me. We had a good laugh over 
 him, in which he could not help joining. One man 
 here, a white man, wants raw onions every day, and I 
 have been trying hard to supply him. They are mostly 
 out of the market now. The .other day, in his grati- 
 tude, he told me that when he got some pickled peaches 
 he meant to give me one. If there is anything I abhor 
 it is a pickled peach, but I did not tell him so. 
 
 On May 18 there was in St. Louis, a Fair 
 for the benefit of the Sanitary Commission. My 
 daughter speaks of it as magnificent ; as the finest 
 she ever saw; and as very successful pecunarily. 
 In several of her letters she gives many details 
 of it, some of which might be amusing, but I 
 
 do not see that they differ from the accounts 
 
 10
 
 146 MEMOIR OF 
 
 of other large Fairs, and I do not insert them 
 here. 
 
 About this time the character of the Benton 
 Barracks Hospital began to change. It soon be- 
 came rather a house of refuge for refugees, than a 
 hospital for sick and wounded soldiers. Under 
 date of June 2, she says. 
 
 LETTER XLIII. 
 
 WE are having changes here ; there are not many 
 sick and there is now a new order from General 
 Sherman to the effect that no more sick or wounded 
 are to be carried out of his department. That will 
 prevent our filling up here, I suppose. We have about 
 an even number of black and white patients ; this 
 week Mr. Forman brought out a number of refugees 
 and put them into a large building called Ward 6. 
 The Home in the city was overflowing; it is a small 
 inconvenient house ; and at one time over thirty chil- 
 dren were there together, besides grown people. I do 
 not know how many more they will send out. I 
 should not wonder if this became a refugees' home ; 
 but I do not know what they will turn us into next. 
 I only hope it will be something good. I am busy ; I 
 look after black soldiers, and white soldiers, and we 
 are now desired to take charge of sick contrabands. 
 The changing the seat of war has removed the neces- 
 sity of so many hospitals here, and some are closing
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 147 
 
 up. When the white patients get well there will 
 hardly be any more, as the troops are all ordered 
 away from here ; nearly all have gone, and the city 
 will be for the most part guarded by the hundred day 
 men, the home guard of old men, and some few 
 others. I hope the city will not be placed in danger 
 again, but the guerillas are very active still, popping 
 up when least expected. I do not see one day ahead, 
 but I believe it will come right to all who try to do 
 their duty. I enjoyed the Fair very much; it was a 
 very pleasant place. As it is only open in the evenings 
 I shall not probably go in again ; I saw it once in the 
 evening, it was splendid, the gas lighted it very well. 
 
 In the latter part of June, Emily became quite 
 ill, and Dr. Eussell for some days wrote her letters 
 at her dictation, she being unable to write. The 
 first letter which the Doctor wrote was dated 
 June 22, the last July 3. All of them are cheer- 
 ful and hopeful, although it is apparent, from the 
 remarks which the Doctor appended, that she was 
 at one time quite ill. Here are extracts from some 
 of them. 
 
 LETTER XLIV. 
 
 BENTOM BARRACKS, June 22, 1864. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, Do not be alarmed at Dr. Russell's 
 writing this ; I am suffering from an attack of ill-
 
 148 MEMOIR OF 
 
 ness and the Doctor says I must not do anything but 
 keep still and get well. I hope to be at my work 
 again in a few days. I have been confined to my room 
 for three days, but hope to be out soon, as there is 
 a great deal that demands my attention. I will write 
 every day and let you know how I am, I have a most 
 excellent colored woman to take care of me. 
 
 [There follows a postscript from the Doctor say- 
 ing he sees nothing alarming in her symptoms.] 
 
 LETTER XLV. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS, June 23. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I had a pretty good night and 
 feel a little better this morning. I am obliged to keep 
 very quiet ; it hurts me to sit up to write, so the Doctor 
 is writing for me. I should think you and my sister 
 might write a little more. I '11 stop writing if you 
 don't. I am flat on my back, and have time to be 
 irate. I shall write again to-morrow and expect I 
 shall be able to say I am a good deal better. 
 
 N.B. I consider Miss Emily better, and believe 
 she is doing well and will soon be about again. She 
 is in excellent spirits, but dislikes to give up her work. 
 
 I. R.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PAESONS. 149 
 
 LETTER XLVI. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS, June 27. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I am doing very well ; Doctor says 
 I may write the next time but prefers I should not 
 to-day. I am very sorry to be sick. I want to be at 
 my work again. I am well cared for. Everybody is 
 kind to me. Mr. Yeatman's family come and inquire 
 after me often and send me goodies. Mr. Yeatman 
 has sent me some nice things to-day which have done 
 me good. I expect some wine jelly and butter-milk 
 to-night. 
 
 [Then, in her own hand.] 
 
 Dr. Russell nurses me splendidly but refuses to say 
 so. 
 
 LETTER XLVII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS, June 28. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I had my best night last night, and 
 I am a little more comfortable to-day ; the wine jelly and 
 butter-milk from . Mr. Yeatman's came this morning. 
 I relish my buttermilk very much ; my disease is much 
 less ; but I am still weak and require to keep very 
 quiet ; I have the best of care and every thing I need. 
 Love to all.
 
 150 MEMOIR OF 
 
 LETTER XLVIII. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS, June 30. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I have not gained much for two 
 days, but hope to take a start again soon in the right 
 direction. My disease is diminishing, but I am quite 
 weak and am obliged to keep very quiet. I am well 
 provided for and have everything I need. Everybody 
 is kind and good to me. 
 
 P.S. Emily on the whole is doing well. The 
 weather is very warm and her progress is slow ; she is 
 patient and happy. 
 
 I. R. 
 
 LETTER XLIX. 
 
 BEXTOX BARRACKS, July 2. 
 
 PEAR MOTHER, I am doing first rate and getting 
 well fast. My greatest difficulty is weakness, but I 
 trust father's Italian wine, eggs and buttermilk will 
 give me strength. There is no epidemic dysentery in 
 the hospital ; the sickness in the hospital except among 
 the refugees from Arkansas is much less than usual. 
 I brought on the attack, probably, by hard work among 
 the miserable refugees, the most worthless and ignorant 
 set of human beings I ever saV, but they are human 
 and must be cared for. There are some veiy nice ex-
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 151 
 
 ceptions and many interesting children among them, 
 however. Mr. Yeatman thinks tea will be good for me 
 and has sent me some very exquisite black tea, sent to 
 him from China ; also a wonderful teakettle, contain- 
 ing a kerosene lamp and boiler, and sundry other fix- 
 tures ; also teapot, teacup and saucer of white china. 
 I am very weak but hope to get well soon ; I have just 
 got your letter. I hope you have some flowers ; I have 
 a sweet bouquet on my table. 
 
 [Then the Doctor says.] 
 
 P.S. I can assure you that Emily is doing first- 
 rate and that you can feel confident of her speedy re- 
 covery. Her illness makes her uncomfortable; it is 
 hard to bear and attended with much exhausting pain. 
 Emily has borne her sickness bravely; has been happy 
 and contented. Allow me also to say that I am under 
 many obligations to her and esteem her very much. 
 
 I. R. 
 
 LETTER L. 
 
 BENTON BARRACKS, July 3. 
 
 DEAR MOTHER, I am happy to inform you that I 
 continue to gain. This afternoon the Doctor came 
 over and made me some tea in the wonderful teapot. 
 I must say my opinion of tea remains unchanged. So 
 I made the Doctor drink it up. The teakettle will be
 
 152 MEMOIR OF 
 
 useful for many purposes. There is no need of your 
 coming out to me, and I am afraid the climate would 
 make you sick. I enclose a letter that may interest 
 you, it is from a woman whose only sou died here. 
 She came and took care of him during his last days. 
 
 She recovered from this attack and resumed her 
 usual duties. The change of the Institution at 
 Benton Barracks from a hospital for sick and 
 wounded soldiers to a home for " contrabands " and 
 refugees became more complete. Most of the nurses 
 with whom she had been associated left the hos- 
 pital, and Dr. Russell proposed to leave it. As the 
 season advanced, the malarial fever which had at- 
 tacked her on her coming back from Vicksburg 
 returned with much severity. She recovered suffi- 
 ciently to come home, but was exceedingly feeble 
 and exhausted when she reached Cambridge in 
 August, 18G4. Her health and strength were not 
 restored until winter ; and then she labored in 
 such ways as she could for the freedmen and 
 refugees; of this however I can add nothing to 
 the account already quoted from " Women's Work 
 in the War." She then began her efforts for the 
 establishment of a hospital in Cambridge. The 
 extracts I make from the reports which she printed 
 will tell her own story of this matter.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 153 
 
 EXTRACT FROM THE KEPORT OF THE CAMBRIDGE 
 HOSPITAL, 1870-71. 
 
 From the time of the first settlement of Cambridge 
 until the year 1865, there was no Hospital for this 
 city, unless the Almshouse can be called such. There 
 has been for a long time a growing need of such an 
 institution. The hospitals of Boston had not room 
 for all, or a large number, of the sick poor of Cam- 
 bridge. Nor was it right that, with our means and 
 advantages, we should be dependent upon another 
 city for the care of our own citizens. It therefore 
 seemed necessary that we should have a suitable Hos- 
 pital of our own, where the sick and disabled poor of 
 Cambridge could be cared for. 
 
 In the fall of 1865, a number of the citizens of 
 Cambridge made me donations for the purpose of com- 
 mencing such an institution. The next step was to 
 procure a house. I did not succeed in finding one I 
 could have until the spring of 1867. I then rented 
 for-one year a small house, which I opened as a Hos- 
 pital in May. When I opened the Hospital, I 
 had not sufficient means to carry it through one 
 year ; but I had faith that all needful wants would be 
 supplied, and they were. I was sustained through 
 the year, and closed with sufficient funds to pay my 
 rent for another year, and also a small sum to begin 
 again upon. 
 
 I was obliged to suspend .at the end of the first 
 year, the owner wishing to make another disposition
 
 154 MEMOIR OF 
 
 of the house. That first year was one of success, 
 so much so, that I felt encouraged to reopen the Hos- 
 pital as soon as I could procure a house. I was 
 obliged to wait until the fall of 18G9 before I could 
 find a suitable house, and a landlord willing to lease 
 me one for such a purpose. In the mean time a Fair 
 had been held, which added materially to our funds. 
 Assistance also came in from other sources. 
 
 In December, 18G9, I reopened the Hospital on 
 Prospect Street, in a convenient house on the corner of 
 Prospect and Hampshire Streets, where we have re- 
 mained until this time. During these two years we 
 have received one hundred and twenty-two patients, 
 forty the first year, eighty -two the second, many of 
 them very serious cases, and several of long duration. 
 Out of this number we had four deaths : the others 
 either recovered entirely or were very materially bene- 
 fited. We have also treated a number of out-patients in 
 the Dispensary. The patients are mostly persons of 
 small means, or in very modei'ate circumstances, 
 hard-working, industrious women, who earn their own 
 support, and, when they have families, supplying either 
 wholly or in part their needs also ; but, when sick or 
 disabled, they can neither support themselves, nor be 
 properly cared for in their homes. 
 
 Others are domestics, who cannot conveniently be 
 taken care of in their places, and usually have no 
 home to go to, nor means to pay for their board and 
 medical care and nursing. We have had several such 
 at the Hospital, and sent them out well and able to 
 take care of themselves again.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 155 
 
 Another and very interesting class are children. 
 Some of these can be soon restored ; but many others re- 
 quire long care and very skilful medical treatment before 
 they can be cured, or helped as far as their cases will 
 admit. All who have seen suffering children know 
 how hard it is for them to bear their ailments, even 
 with all the alleviations which money and care can give. 
 It is far more hard for them when they have but few, 
 if any, of the comforts an invalid needs ; and but little 
 care, and that little unskilful and irregular. Few, 
 except physicians, know how many of these cases there 
 are. 
 
 The surgical and medical treatment has been under 
 the daily direction of Dr. Charles E. Vaughan and Dr. 
 J. T. G. Nichols, who have visited the Hospital in 
 alternate months since its commencement, giving us 
 their invaluable aid most generously aud kindly; thus 
 granting freely to the poorest patient all the skill the 
 richest could provide. 
 
 In the first year of our work, Dr. S. Cabot of Boston, 
 very kindly gave us his valuable advice. Since then, 
 Dr. Richard M. Hodges, of Boston, has several times 
 assisted as consulting and operating surgeon. We are 
 much indebted to Dr. M. Wyman for his advice and 
 assistance, and also to Dr. C. Bullock for very valu- 
 able dental services. Other physicians, also have most 
 generously offered their aid. 
 
 With regard to our means of support, we have no 
 fund from which to draw. Our only maintenance has 
 been the funds coming in from time to time, a small
 
 156 MEMOIR OF 
 
 part of which has been the moderate amount paid by 
 patients who are able to pay for the care and treat- 
 ment they receive. We have sometimes been very 
 poor, so poor, that twice we almost stopped. Then 
 aid has come at the eleventh hour, and we have been 
 enabled to go on with our work. In the fall of 1870, 
 the city government came generously to our aid by 
 appropriating $750 for the rent of the house we occupy. 
 They showed us the same kindness last fall : thus 
 our rent for this year is secured. 
 
 At the same time, the Hospital took a very import- 
 ant step onward. A number of the gentlemen of 
 Cambridge consented to act as Trustees for the institu- 
 tion, and, forming themselves into a Board of Directors, 
 obtained from the Legislature of Massachusetts an 
 Act of Incorporation to the Cambridge Hospital ; and 
 the same has been duly organized under the said Act. 
 
 The Hospital was first opened as a Hospital for 
 Women and Children, taking in no male patient over six 
 years of age ; but, now that its usefulness has steadily 
 increased, it is hoped that it will be the beginning of a 
 General Hospital for the City of Cambridge, large 
 enough and rich enough to take in all of either sex 
 who can be benefited by hospital treatment. . . . 
 
 This is a good work that has come upon us, car- 
 ing for the sick and disabled ; helping " those we shall 
 have with us always," helping them not only in the 
 body, but sometimes, also, receiving the great privilege 
 of helping them in a higher way, and one that will be 
 a help in the great future which is coming to us all. 
 
 EMILY E. PARSONS.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 157 
 
 <0mm0nfoealtfj of fHassracfjusetts. 
 
 IN THE YEAR ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND SIXTY-NINE. 
 AN ACT TO INCORPORATE THE CAMBRIDGE HOSPITAL. 
 
 Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives in 
 General Court assembled, and by the authority of the same 
 as follows : 
 
 SECT. 1. Isaac Livermore, Sumner R. Mason, W. 
 W. Wellington, Kinsley Twining, Benjamin Tilton, 
 Alexander McKenzie, Henry B. Walcott, their asso- 
 ciates and successors, are hereby made a corporation, 
 by the name of the CAMBRIDGE HOSPITAL, for the pur- 
 pose of maintaining a Hospital in the City of Cam- 
 bridge, for sick and disabled persons; with all the 
 powers and privileges, and subject to all the duties, 
 restrictions, and liabilities set forth in the general laws 
 which now or may hereafter be in force relating to such 
 corporations ; and, for the purpose aforesaid, said cor- 
 poration may hold real and personal property to an 
 amount not exceeding one hundred and fifty thousand 
 dollars. 
 
 SECT. 2. This act shall take effect upon its passage. 
 
 House of Representatives, Feb. 9, 1871. 
 Passed to be enacted. 
 
 HARVEY JEWELL, Speaker.
 
 158 MEMOIR OF 
 
 This Hospital continued open, and under her 
 charge until May 1872. She lived in it, making 
 short calls at her home occasionally, but acting 
 always as matron and nurse at the Hospital with 
 such assistance as the funds provided enabled her 
 to have. 
 
 When the Hospital was discontinued she re- 
 ceived from a Committee of the Trustees, the 
 following letter. 
 
 CAMBRIDGEPORT, May 20, 1872. 
 
 Miss EMILY E. PARSONS: DEAR MADAM, The 
 undersigned, in behalf of the Cambridge Hospital Cor- 
 poration, in closing their official connection with you, 
 desire to express their high appreciation of your valu- 
 able services in the establishment and management of 
 this institution. 
 
 In their judgment, the Hospital, during its brief 
 existence, has done great good in restoring the health, 
 or adding to the comfort of many, who without its 
 benefits, might have suffered from poverty or neglect. 
 They feel that whatever good has been done is mainly 
 owing to your self-sacrificing labors and untiring de- 
 votion ; they honor alike your faith and your ivorks. 
 They deeply regret the necessity, which compels them 
 to close the doors of the Hospital, and thus to deprive 
 the City, for a time at least, of the benefit of your self- 
 imposed work of philanthropy and charity.
 
 EMILY ELIZABETH PARSONS. 159 
 
 With sincere thanks for what you have accomplished, 
 and with pleasant recollections of their official and per- 
 sonal intercourse with you, the undersigned would 
 subscribe themselves very truly yours. 
 
 ISAAC LlVERMORE, ^ Committee 
 W. W. WELLINGTON, > in behalf of 
 W. A. BULLARD, j Trustees. 
 
 The experiment made the need and useful- 
 ness of such a Hospital certain ; the funds grad- 
 ually increased ; and during her last illness, not 
 long before her death, but while she was still able 
 to understand the statement, and express her 
 thankfulness, I had the pleasure of reading to her 
 a paragraph from the Boston Daily Advertiser, 
 to the effect, that efforts were soon to be made to 
 increase the funds of the Cambridge Hospital, 
 " originally instituted by Miss Emily E. Parsons," 
 from $17,000, their present amount, to 8100,000, 
 which would be sufficient to place it upon a per- 
 manent foundation. 
 
 THEOPHILUS PARSONS. 
 
 University Press : John Wilson and Son, Cambridge.
 
 University of California 
 
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