mmmmmmmmM Letters of her Mother to Elizabeth^ Ex Libris C. K. OGDEN THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES w The Letters of her Mother to Elizabeth THE LETTERS OF HER MOTHER TO ELIZABETH JOHN LANE: THE BODLEY HEAD LONDON y NEW YORK • MDCCCCI Copyright, rgoi By John Lane FIFTH EDITION UNIVERSITY PRESS • JOHN WILSON AND SON • CAMBRIDGE, U.S.A. NOTE EVERY one who has read " The Visits of EHzabeth," in which a girl of seventeen describes her adventures to her mother in a series of entertaining and clever letters, has instinctively asked the question : " What sort of woman was Elizabeth's Mother?" Perhaps an answer that will satisfy all will be found in the following " Letters of her Mother to Elizabeth." 1909023 The Letters of Her Mother to Elizabeth LETTER I Monk's Folly, 27th July Dearest Elizabeth : I AM glad you reached Nazeby without any mishap. Your letter was quite re- freshing, but, darling, do be more careful of your grammar. Remember, one never talks grammar now-a-days in Society, it is n't done ; it is considered very Newnham and Girton and patronising, but one should always know how to write one's language. Because the fashion might change some day, and it would be so parvenu to have to pick it up. As I told you before you started on your round of visits, you will have a capital opportunity of making a good match. You are young, very pretty, of the bluest blood in the three kingdoms, and have a fortune THE LETTERS OF HER These Horrid Smiths — to be sure this latter advantage, while it would be more than a sufficient dot to catch a twelfth century French duke, would be considered by an impecunious British peer quite beneath contempt. Your trump card, Elizabeth, is your manner, and I count upon that to do more for you than all the other attributes put together. Nature and my training have made you a perfect specimen of an ingenue^ and I beseech you, darling, do me credit. Please forgive the coarseness of what I have said, it is only a little plain speaking between us ; I shan't refer to it again; I know I can trust you. From what you write I gather that the Marquis of Valmond is epris with Mrs. Smith. Horrid woman ! the Chevingtons have met her. Mrs. Chevington was here this morning to enquire after my neuralgia. She said that Mr. Smith met his wife in Johannesburg five years ago before he " ar- rived." He used to wear overalls, and carry a pick on his shoulder, and spent his days digging in the earth, but he stopped at sunset, as I should think he well might, and invariably went to the same inn to refresh MOTHER TO ELIZABETH himself, where Mrs. Smith's mother cooked These his dinner and Mrs. Smith herself gave him ^^^^^^ what she called a " corpse-reviver " from behind the bar. At night, a great many men who dug in the earth with Mr. Smith would come for " corpse-revivers," and they called Mrs. Smith " Polly," and the mother " old girl." And one day Mr. Smith found a nugget as big as a roc's egg when he was digging in the earth, and after that he stopped. The funny part was that "Polly" always said he would never find anything, and he had a wager with her that if he did she should marry him. So that is the story of their courtship and marriage, and they have millions. Mrs. Chevington vouches for the truth of it all, for Algy Chevington was out in Johannesburg at the time, and he dug in the same hole with Mr. Smith and knows all about him and " Polly," only Algy never found anything, for the flowers in Mrs. Chevington's hat were in the bon- net she wore all last spring. But let us leave these horrid Smiths ; I am sure they are horrid. I can't understand how Lady CeciHa puts up with them. Mrs. Cheving- 3 THE LETTERS OF HER ^« ton says she hears Sir Trevor is one of Eligible ^i^g directors in the Yerburg Mine. Algv Parti • ... ° called him a guinea-pig, and said he wished he was one. Lord Valmond has fifty thousand a year and six places besides the house in Grosve- nor Square. You will hardly meet a more eligible parti; I hear he is very fast; they say he gave Betty Milbanke, the snake- dancer at the Palace, all the diamonds she wears. If he is anything like his father was, he must be both good-looking and fascinating. The late Marquis was the , handsomest man save one that I have ever seen, and could have married any of the Duchess of Rougemont's daughters if he had been a valet instead of a marquis, and the Duchess was the proudest woman in England. The girl who gets this Valmond will not only be lucky but clever ; the way to attract him is to snub him ; the fools that have hitherto angled for him have always put cake on their hooks ; but, if I were fishing in the water in which My Lord Valmond disported himself, .1 should bait my hook with a common 4 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH worm. It is something he has never yet The Afri- seen. ^^'^ ^'^- Tell me more about Mr. Wertz, the African millionaire ; is he the man who is building the Venetian palazzo in Belgrave Square ? If so, it was rumoured last season that he was to be made a baron. They blackballed him at the Jockey Club in Paris, and even the Empire nobility who live in appartements in the Champs Elysees refused to know him ; that is why he came to England. He is a gentleman, if he is a Jew ; the family belong to the tribe of Levi. Algy Chevington, who knows everything about everybody, says his Holbeins are priceless, and that the Pope offered to make him a Papal Count if he would part with a " Flight into Egypt " known as the Wertz Raphael. But of course even a knighthood is better than a Papal Count, and if Mr. Wertz gives his Holbeins to the National Gallery he is sure to be created something. You cannot be too careful of the unmar- ried girls you know ; Miss La Touche is certainly not the sort of person for you to be intimate with. The Rooses, of course, 5 Carter- ville THE LETTERS OF HER Lady are quite correct, they will make capital Beatrice {q^^ for you ; beside Jane Roose is amiable, and has been out so many seasons that her advice will be useful. Be sure, however, to do the very opposite to what she tells you. If the weather is fine to-morrow, I am going to drive over in the afternoon to call on Lady Beatrice Carterville. She has a house-party, and the people who come to her are sure to be odd and amusing. My neuralgia has been better these last few days. The things I ordered from Paquin have come at last ; the mauve crepe de chine with the Valenciennes lace flounces is lovely ; the hat and parasol are creations, as the Society papers say. Love to Lady Cecilia and the tips of my fingers to Sir Trevor. — Your dearest Mamma. MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER II Monk's Folly, 29th July Darling Elizabeth : I FELT so well yesterday that I drove over Lady in the afternoon to Lady Beatrice's to Beatrice'' s tea. I felt I must show myself as Paquin ^^^ made me to someone. It was so warm that tea was served on the terrace; the view of the Quantocks steaming in the distance over the tops of the oaks in the park was charming. There were a great many people present, and when I arrived, Lady Beatrice exclaimed at the courage I showed in coming when the sun was so hot and the road so dusty. She presided at the tea-table in white pique and a sailor hat which rested on the bridge of her nose. She is as fat as Lady Theodosia Doran and plays tennis ; the rouge on her neck had stained her collar, quite a four- inch collar too, and there were finger marks of rouge on her bodice. She introduces everybody, which, while it is not the thing, certainly makes one more comfortable than 7 THE LETTERS OF HER A Live the fashion at present in vogue. I always Authoress jjj^g ^^ know the names of the people I am talking to. Everybody talked about the weather and the dust, and it was deadly dull till Lady Beatrice said she wanted to play tennis. She went off to play singles with Mr. Frame, the Low Church curate, and looked so funny, bounding about the lawn like a big rubber ball, that I nearly screamed. Most of the people strolled up and down the terrace, or leaned over the balustrade above the lake. I sat under my parasol in a Madeira chair, and was talked to by such a curious woman, a Mrs. Beverley Fruit. It was interesting to meet a real live authoress after having read her works. I remember when Mrs. Fruit's first novel came out ten years ago it created a great sensation, but I must confess the sensation was confined to middle-class people and the Universities. Of course, everybody in Society bought it. It was all about Radicals and a silly Low Church curate who threw up his living because he did n't believe in God, and w^ent to London and lived in the slums. Mr. Gladstone wrote a review of it, and they 8 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH dramatised it in America. Mrs. Fruit has ^ Live since written several other books, and each A^^horess one is more bitter against Society than the last, so you may fancy how nervous I felt at being left with such a woman. But, darling, she is n't at all like her books. I was quite charmed with her ; she was dressed so well, and looked quite like a lady ; she lives in Berkeley Square and has a place in Essex. In the last election she canvassed the county for the Conservatives, and the Duchess of Rougemont is very, very fond of her. Lady Beatrice tells me that Mrs. Beverley Fruit's son, who is private secre- tary to a Cabinet Minister, is actually going to marry one of the Duchess's daughters. Lady Mabel, the one with the projecting teeth and the squint. And I am sure I think it is very brave of Mr. Fruit Junior, for Lady . Mabel is both ugly and stupid. However, the connection is a good one for the Fruits, who have made their fortune out of books, which I think is decidedly less vulgar than pale ale or furniture. Mrs. Fruit is staying with Lady Beatrice. Lady Ann Fairfax, the Daily Sensatioris 9 THE LETTERS OF HER Lady War correspondent, is also stopping at Ann Braxome Towers. She told me that she ^^^ ^ had been through three sieges, and never felt happier than when " sniping," whatever that may be. She lived three months in a bomb-proof shelter on quarter rations, was once taken prisoner, and when exchanged was sent through the lines barefoot and with only a blanket round her. She is bringing out a book to be called " What I have been through," and I shall certainly buy it. She is rather pretty and dresses beautifully, and is very amusing ; you could listen to her for hours ; her stories are like shilling shockers, with a bit of Henty thrown in to give them style. She was quite breezy, and I was sorry when Lady Beatrice shouted triumphantly, " Six love, Mr. Frame ! " and came up puffing like a porpoise, her hair soppy on the temples and gutters on her cheeks. Lady Beatrice was in an awfully good humour, for Mr. Frame beat the Somerset champion last week, but, poor man ! he would not dare to even dream of beating Lady Beatrice. She only suffers him to 10 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH eat her cucumber sandwiches and drink her TheMiss- Mazawattee for the pleasure of beating ^'^sHand- 1 • kerchief The drive home in the twihght was very pleasant. I brought Captain Bennett of the Coldstreams and the Earl of Mortimer as far as the Club in Taunton. They are play- ing for Gloucester, but, as I dislike cricket as much as you do, I shan't go to see the match. I know my frock was admired at Braxome to-day ; poor Mr. Frame, who sat and ate ices near me after his thrashing, would never meet my glance directly, and I overheard Lady Beatrice tell Mrs. Beverley Fruit that I spent altogether too much on dress, while Lady Beatrice always looks as if she considered the expenditure of a five- pound note on her person an extravagance. Dear, dear Paquin ! I am awfully provoked with myself, the lace handkerchief I wore to-day is missing. I am sure it was in my hand when we left Braxome, for I remember sniffing " parfum d'Arabie " in the carriage. It is really quite provoking. — Your dearest Mamma. II THE LETTERS OF HER The P.S. — I have just received a note from Handker- Captain Bennett saying he found my hand- '^ "'^ kerchief sticking to his coat when he got into the Club, and asking if he may restore it to me in person to-morrow. 13 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER III Monk's Folly, ist August Dearest Elizabeth : Z 'INGENUE va bien. I am so glad ^ vou managed to put that odious '^ ^^ . . ° . Youno- Mrs. Smith in her place. It is really too ^ ^ revolutionary to be forced to accept such people, but what you tell me about her and Lord Valmond surprises me. I can quite understand a woman of her stamp liking the admiration of Valmond, for he is young and good looking, and a marquis, but what can he see in her ? He is one of those young men who mature quickly; at fifteen he could tell whether a woman put on her chemise or her petticoat first, and at one and twenty he knew the Rake's Catechism by heart. But I have always heard that he was intelligent, and his people were never afraid of his doing something foolish. He takes his menus plaisirs like a gentleman, but why he should be so de- voted to this Mrs. Smith I cannot conceive. 13 THE LETTERS OF HER The She is not pretty, she is not witty ; Lord Handker- Valmond is rich, surely he does not want '' ^^■' to borrow money from her. I shall be glad when you leave Nazeby Hall ; it is one thing to catch a marquis, and another thing to get scratched in the effort. You must leave at once, otherwise you will be forced to play your trump card — the art of being an ingenue. Leave at once, Val- mond will be sure to follow. The slap on the cheek was excellent ; no man ever for- gets a woman who has left the print of her fingers on his face, he will either hate her or love her. If the man is a man and was in the wrong, he will be forced to admire the woman who could protect herself against him. Leave Nazeby, Elizabeth ; Valmond is a man and a gentleman, let him know that you are a lady and virtuous. This morning, just before lunch, Fifine and I were dozing on the lawn under the big Japanese umbrella, when James came to tell me that Captain Bennett was in the drawing-room. Of course he came to re- turn my handkerchief — it was very polite of him to bring it himself, especially as 14 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH he rode all the way from Taunton in a Captain blazing sun, along a road lying under nearly -^'" he contemplated making his lunch off the waiter's leg. A seat was eventually found for her at our table, and another for Bijou, who finished his chop in the Marechale's lap. She glared at us several times as if she thought it was an impertinence for us to sit at the same table with her, and she frightened the waiters out of their wits and found fault with everything. I am sure she is horribly old, for Sir Charles says she was no chicken in the last year of the Empire, when her salon was the most suivi in Paris. Her coiffure is jet black, and her eyebrows are bald and pencilled in arches. She is awfully badly made up, but, as Blanche says, it would take tons of rouge to hide the gut- ters on her face which is lined like a railway- map. All her clothes are made in the fashion of 1870 ; she is covered at all times with jewels and wears a daguerreotype brooch of the late Marechal. But, of course, she is tr'es grande dame^ and everyone tries to mollify her, and they 83 THE LETTERS OF HER Time to wait on her and Bijou hand and foot, and Retire the Duchesse de Vaudricourt, who hates her because the Marechal asked her before the Vicomte and Mr. Vanduzen if she remem- bered a certain ball at the Tuileries in '68, calls her " Ma chere marechale." Therese has rapped twice to ask if I am ready to retire, so unless she should pull my hair out by the roots to spite me for keeping her up so late I must say good- night. — Your dearest Mamma. 84 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XIII Hotel National, Lucerne 30th August Darling Elizabeth : xhe Son- I NEVER told you of the garden party nenburgs at Schloss Sonnenburg the other day, and as it will give quite another aspect of Lucerne life from that of the National and Schloss Gessler, I will try to remember what happened. It is rather difficult, for so much transpires in the course of the day that 1 am apt to forget what I did the day before. In the first place Baroness Sonnenburg is an Englishwoman, and Sir Charles knows her quite well. So he offered to drive us out to the Schloss and introduce us, telling us it would be quite comme il faut^ and that the Sonnenburgs would be only too delighted to meet us. The Vicomte occupied the vacant seat in the landau, and we started immediately after lunch, for we had over twenty miles to drive. To know what dust is you must come to Switzerland in August ; 8S Drive THE LETTERS OF HER A Disa- the road was like driving through sand, we greeable were powdered with it, a nasty, white, Itchy- powder, and the flies, having devoured the horses which flew along maddened with pain, came to add their sting and buzzing to our own sufferings from the dust. I nearly shrieked with the discomfort of it all, and longed for my balcony at the National. The Vicomte began to talk of love to me, but knowing the danger of such a subject I peevishly begged him to desist, and a huge bottle-green fly, with a most irritating buzz, having drawn blood from his cheek, the Vicomte became as peevish as I. It seemed as if the journey would never end, which made the thought of the return to Lucerne 'epoiiv ant able ^ and we were none of us in a good mood when a great yellow and black building, whose walls were like a draught- board, suddenly loomed out of a forest of pine trees on the brow of a steep clifi\ When we drove up to the front door two footmen in livery helped us out of the carriage, and I could have cried from the nervousness that the drive had fretted me into. However, we found a maid with 86 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH brushes and water and perfumes, and when Warm we were at all presentable again, another ^^icome carriage drove up with Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Isaacs and Rosalie, and their Austrian Count. They were in as bad a temper as we were from the dust and the flies, and I heard Mrs. Johnson say that if " Mrs. Son- nenburg hadn't been a baroness" she would never have come. We passed down a long hall whose walls were covered with family portraits, more than enough to make up the twenty-four quarterings of the Sonnenburg arms. At the end of the hall was a room into which we were shown by a footman. A grand-looking man, who was introduced by Sir Charles as Baron Sonnenburg, gave us the warmest welcome in English, and led us across the room where we were presented to his wife and mother. Baroness Sonnen- burg spoke English with an accent which was not affected, for she told us she had not been in England for over twenty years. She was one of the Trevorleys of Devon- shire, and the present baronet is her first cousin. I doubt if she ever heard the name of Paquin, and I suppose her clothes are 87 THE LETTERS OF HER A Pretty made by a seamstress in Lucerne, yet there Custom vvas no disguising the gentility of her ap- pearance and the breeding of her manners. Blanche and I, who, from constant obser- vation of the people we mix with, are rap- idly becoming Continental, curtseyed to the Dowager Baroness and kissed the hand she held out. I think it is such a pretty custom, and one we could adopt to advan- tage in England, where every trace of the manners of the ancien regime has disappeared. Such a number of people were in the room that we did not get the chance I should have liked to converse with our hosts, and we sauntered into an enormous octagonal apartment, which we were told jutted sheer over the precipice on which the Schloss is built. The view from the windows was very fine and extensive, and it made one quite giddy to look down into the valley which is nine hundred feet below. There was a visitors' book here which Sir Charles was signing for us when suddenly there were shrieks of surprise and everybody rushed to the windows. Through a cleft of pine woods standing out against the bright 88 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH blue sky was a glittering, dazzling mass. It An Al was the Jungfrau, Baron Sonnenburg said, Fresco and was only seen on rare occasions, and ^^P^^ nothing could be more fortunate than that it should unveil its peerless loveliness to- day of all days for the benefit of his guests. An al fresco repast was served on the old battlements which have been turned out into a terrasse. An awkward, blushing youth was brought up to me by Baron Sonnenburg and presented as his son, and I was told he was going to England in the autumn to learn English, of which he does n't know a word. Two rather pretty, but shockingly badly- dressed girls, .were talking to two Swiss officers, but the attitudes of all were so stilted and forced that I am sure they were not enjoying the unusual liberty permitted on this occasion. The Duchesse de Vaudricourt whispered to me that they were Baroness Sonnenburg's daughters and were considered very English. I was on the point of asking her what she thought / was, but thought better of it, and merely said, that from the extreme diffidence they displayed, I should have taken them 89 manns THE LETTERS OF HER The for French girls whose dot had not yet been Wertzel- settled. The Wertzelmanns came late ; they brought Madame Colorado, who looked perfectly angelic in a marvellous white crepe de chine, and a hat that killed you at a glance. They brought the news of the acci- dent to the Vicomte de Narjac's automobile, and Mrs. Wertzelmann excitedly told a circle, who had gathered to admire her clothes and her jewels, that it was the sensa- tion of the season, she had never heard of anything so dreadful. And Baron Sonnen- burg, who had never seen either Blanche or the Vicomte before, and had forgotten their names already, was told how the Vicomte's automobile had run away and exploded, ter- ribly mangling the croupier at the Kursaal, blowing the Vicomte and Miss Blaine, such a sweet English girl, to smithereens, and that the poor Marquise de Pivart had gone mad from the shock. Mrs. Wertzelmann dwelt on the horrible details with a tenacity there was no shaking, and at every exclamation of pity uttered by her audience she but made the story more 90 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH graphic. The Vicomte and Blanche, who An all the while had listened quietly, unobserved Amusing by Mrs. Wertzelmann, stuffed their mouths ^^'■^^^ with handkerchiefs to keep from shrieking. But when the Vicomte heard that a boat- man had found one of his arms clinging to a fragment of automobile in the lake, and that they were picking his brains off the walls of the Pension Thorvaldsen, he could contain himself no longer. You should have seen Mrs. Wertzelmann's face when she saw Blanche and the Vicomte bursting with laughter, and she looked about the terrasse as if she expected to see the Mar- quise and the croupier eating ices in Baron Sonnenburg's beach chairs ; and later when we left I am sure she wondered why we drove off in the landau with the fly-bitten horses instead of in the automobile. " If Maria once begins to tell a story," said Mr. Wertzelmann to me, "there is no stopping her. I knew she would end by putting her foot into it." As Mrs. Wertzelmann's confusion was so great, and she volunteered no explanation, I fancy the Sonnenburgs, who do not go 91 THE LETTERS OF HER An into Lucerne frequently, are wondering why Amusing the Swiss and Nice Times have given no ^^'^^ account of the terrible automobile disaster. Don't ask me how we got back to Lucerne, but four more pitiable-looking objects you never would wish to see. We were utterly exhausted, and I never made any appearance the next day till lunch. I am glad you are having such a good time at Croixmare. Give my kind regards to your Godmamma and my best love to Heloise. I am glad you have been such a success ; I pride myself that whether in England or in France r ingenue va bien. — Your dearest Mamma. 92 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XIV Hotel National, Lucerne 1st September Darling Elizabeth : THE invitations are out to a cotillon at The Ball Schloss Gessler on the yth. It is of the to be a grand affair, the favours are to come ^^'^^'^^ from the Maison Bail at Paris, the supper and the music from the National, and the money to pay for it all out of Mr. Wertzel- mann's bank account, which it goes without saying is a big one. Everybody seems to have been invited, and Mr. Wertzelmann told me he intended that it should be remembered as the ball of the season. Old Mrs. Johnson came and sat next to me on the quai this morning, and broke the news that Count Albert has proposed to Rosalie and been accepted. She didn't seem to like it when I said I felt sorry for the girl, because she was too good for Count Albert, who was old enough to be her fither, and 1 advised her to look him up 93 THE LETTERS OF HER Count and all his antecedents at Vienna before the Albert's marriage ceremony. But she was quite Proposal satisfied that he was a real, live Count, be- cause the " Schweitzerhof knew all about him." I shouldn't be surprised, however, that she takes my advice, for she is a shrewd old woman, but just fancy anyone taking a husband on a hotel guarantee ! A very pretty woman — a blonde, with a figure that the Venus de Milo might envy, and dressed, oh ! la, la ! shades of Paquin and Worth ! — passed us several times, walking up and down the quai. Everybody turned round to stare at her, and everybody asked who she was, and the Princesse di Spezzia, who was talking to Comte Bella- donna, put up her lorgnettes. The Duchesse de Vaudricourt leaned over the arm of her chair and whispered to me : — " Voila la plus, belle courtisane de Florence. C'est une des bijoux de M. le Prince di Spezzia. La fameuse Vittoria Lodi ! " Later on the Prince di Spezzia sauntered out of the National on the arm of the Mar- quis de Pivart, both dressed faultlessly as usual, a r Anglais J and they actually stopped 94 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH and spoke to the demi-mondaine. The Monsieur Duchesse de Vaudricourt became quite ^y^-lePnnce cited over it, and gave me a regular New- York-Herald-Paris-Edition of Monsieur le Prince. He is very English in appearance, but then Poole makes all his clothes, and he could easily pass for an Englishman, which I think would please him immensely. But why — why will these smart foreigners who affect English fashions always wear lavender or buff-coloured French kid gloves ? Perhaps you will say, for the same reason that Englishwomen who are for ever talk- ing of Paris fashions wear English corsets. So under all the artificiality of civilisation national traits come out in a pair of gloves or a pair of stays ! The Prince looks as if he would improve on acquaintance, but I think it distinctly rude and bad form of him to stop and talk to such a woman as la belle Lodi within a stone's throw of his v/ife. The Duchesse savs he has been a mauvais sujet since sixteen, when he disguised himself as a priest and con- fessed dozens of people, and if it had n't been that his uncle was a Cardinal, he would 95 THE LETTERS OF HER Professor have got into some very hot water. He Chz- drives with the Lodi daily in the Cascine wticzy ^j. piQj-ence, and makes her follow him wherever he goes. She has an apart- ment at the Schweitzerhof. The Princesse doesn't seem to mind; I don't suppose it would make any difference if she did. She is always beautifully dressed, and spends most of her time staring at people through her lorgnettes. Poor Professor Chzweiczy (you can pro- nounce this name to suit yourself, for no- body knows what it should be, and Blanche calls it Squeezey) sits every day on the quai ; he holds the " Blot on the Brain " close in front of his face as if he were near-sighted. I think he must have a cast in his eyes, for they always seem to be looking over the top of the book at the people passing. I am sure that if it were known that he is one of the greatest medical scientists of the day, he would be besieged like Liane de Pougy ; but nobody ever even glances at him ; they have got his name spelled wrong in the hotel visitors' list, and wedged in out of sight between some people whose names 96 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH have a globe-trotting sound and who look Liane de like a party of Cook's " Specials." Pougy Liane de Pougy sits now in the garden of the National, for the crowds nearly suffo- cated her on the quai. She is very beautiful and dresses very quietly ; you would never dream that she is as well known in Paris as a monument or a boulevard. A young Frenchman has for the last two days been doing his best to attract her attention by sitting near her, and pretending to read her " L'Insaisissable." I believe that since her arrival there are nearly as many copies of this roman vecu, as she calls it, as Baedekers at the National. It is hard to say which is the most interesting — herself or her book. I caught her looking at the old Marechale de Vichy- Pontoise yesterday with the most untranslatable expression. I am not quite sure but that in spite of her triumphs she would change places with the Marechale if she could, and wear the old harridan's mous- tache and the daguerreotype brooch of the late Marechal and feed Bijou and all. As it is, not a woman at the National would dream of speaking to her, and the Marechale 7 97 THE LETTERS OF HER A would as soon think of strangling Bijou as Comedy of sitting down at the same table as the famous Liane. Blanche has just come in to say that a Count Fosca has arrived at the National, having automobiled all the way from Paris, and that the Vicomte is completely bouk- verse. She is laughing so over something that Therese is telling her that I cannot write any more. I can only catch the words, " Mrs. John- son," " Prince di Spezzia," " Ascenseur," " no lights." I leave it to you to make a comedy out of the missing links. — Your dearest Mamma. 98 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XV Hotel National, Lucerne 3rd September Darling Elizabeth : IT rained yesterday for the first t\m.Q a Mishap since we have been in Lucerne. As I was looking at the lake which the wind had turned into an ocean with waves mountains high, I saw Comte Belladonna soaked to the skin hurrying along the quai to the hotel. Poor little old beau ! He had got himself up as usual in spotless flannels, patent-leather boots, straw hat, and lavender kids, and was coming from the direction of the pension where his inamorata lives — the pretty, portionless American girl — when the rain had overtaken him. His legs, un- accustomed to the unusual exercise of run- ning, seemed inclined one moment to run into the flower-beds on the quai and an- other to contemplate a plunge into the lake. Sheets of water fell from the brim of his straw hat, his gloves and his boots were ir- retrievably spoilt, and his flannels had that 99 THE LETTERS OF HER A Funny heavy, soppy look, that bathing-suits have. Thing Y{q was as full of water as a sponge, and I am sure he would have been the better for a squeeze. I called Blanche to look at him, and we both agreed that he would catch a chill after such a wetting that would carry him off. But when we went down to lunch we found him dry and chirpy, and paying his devoirs to the Princesse di Spezzia, as if he had made his toilet for the first time that day. A funny thing happened in the afternoon in connection with the old beau's wetting that would have covered anybody else but such a consummate old courtier with ridicule. After lunch it cleared off, and the sun came out very hot and dried up things so quickly that everybody had tea as usual in the garden of the hotel. The Hungarian band had just finished playing a valse of Waldeuffel, and the Marechale de Vichy-Pontoise had hobbled out into the garden and settled herself comfortably in her favourite seat next to the Princesse di Spezzia when some- thing slowly descended from the sky per- forming curious evolutions. Everybody lOO MOTHER TO ELIZABETH speculated as to what it could be and where ^ Funny it came from, when it calmly lighted on the Thing head of the Marechale, who gave a wizened shriek, and having disengaged herself from it shied it away savagely with the end of her stick. Bijou at once seized it in his mouth, and having gambolled about the grass with it proceeded to improvise it into a broom and sweep up the gravel path with it. The difficulty of getting him to relinquish his possession of it caused a great deal of merri- ment, and the young man who reads " LTn- saisissable " and ogles Liane de Pougy at the same time suddenly put his foot on it with such force that Bijou, who was scamper- ing off as hard as he could go with an end in his mouth, was brought up short, and, having turned a rather violent somersault in the air, let go and went off whimpering to the Marechale, who looked as if she could have eaten the young Frenchman. He picked up Bijou's mysterious plaything and held it up, so that everybody could see — a white flannel jacket, or what was left of it, of the jauntiest cut in the world. No one claiming it, he handed it to a waiter who xoi THE LETTERS OF HER A Funny discovered on a tag the chiffre of Comte Thing Belladonna! Instead of at once withdraw- ing with the garment he informed the Comte that it belonged to him. The Comte, who knew it all the time and had not cared to make himself the butt of the National, ex- amined it, shook his head, examined it again, and bursting into a laugh exclaimed to the Princesse di Spezzia with the utmost self- possession : — " My dear Princesse, alas ! this rag is in- deed mine. This morning, spotless and sweet-smelling, I arrayed my old bones in it, and its mate, whose legs you may see dangling out of that window up there under the roof; but, as if envious of the figure I cut in it, the elements having determined to deprive me of it, flooded me out of it. Not being an American millionaire, I hung it out of my window to dry, and the wind did the rest. Heaven grant that the trousers do not come to look after the jacket. Pity me, Princesse, I had worn it but once ; it was cut at * Old England.' Here, gar9on, it is yours now." It was not the words, which were funny I02 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH enough, but the manner in which they were Signor uttered, that made every one laugh with the Stefano Comte instead oi at him. The Princesse is a dear ; she proved to- night that she is really a grande dame, and that it is neither her name nor her pose which makes her one. Young Signor Ste- fano, a shopkeeper, we would call him in England, came again to the National to- night to dance. The proprietor, who is very anxious that these dances should be a success, has given him, and two or three other young fellows like him, the entree. Of course, according to the Continental custom, they can ask any one they like to dance, but a natural and creditable diffidence has kept them from forcing themselves upon any of the smart set, and they are generally to be seen reversing and chasseeing with the people from the pensions, who sit at one end of the ball-room and stare at the other. Young Stefano is very good-looking, and dances divinely, and has attracted the at- tention of all of us women, and everybody who has been in the magasin, where he is in charge of the precious stone department, 103 THE LETTERS OF HER Stefano Recog- nised has remarked his quiet gentlemanly be- haviour. I think I wrote you that he asked Mr. Vanduzen to present him to the Prin- cesse di Spezzia and was refused, and I must say when he came into the room to-night he looked so much a gentleman and so handsome that I horrified Mr. Vanduzen by telling him to bring Stefano to me. He was covered with confusion when he was introduced, and when we danced he bumped me into two or three people, for he held me as if he were afraid of me, and we took up as much room as four people. I made him sit next me and talked to him, and cleverly turned the conversation on to the Princesse di Spezzia. He said very modestly that desire had got the better of him the other night, and he had presumed to be presented to her and had been snubbed, as he deserved. His magastn is trans- ferred to Florence for the winter; he is a Florentine, and has often seen the Princesse in the Cascine and admired her very much ; he told me that he had no desire to meet her as an equal, that he knew he was only a petit bourgeois, but that he would have beea 104 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH proud to be presented to such a great lady. Princesse I surprised him by saying I would ask the ^^ Spezzia Princesse if she had any objection, and if not it would be easy enough to gratify his small desire. His thanks were profuse, and when 1 got a chance I told the Princesse the story. She was furious with Mr. Vanduzen and has cut him dead since ; she wondered how he dared to refuse to present any one to her without her permission, and she de- clared it was one of the greatest pleasures of her position to have the people of Florence presented to her and admire her. She chatted for some time with Stefano and gave him permission to address her at any time he chose without any fear of being snubbed. I watched her closely all the time ; her manner was totally free from patronage, but it let Stefano know that she was what he had always thought, the Princesse di Spezzia, the greatest lady in Florence. She has immensely flattered his pride by her recognition and preserved her own dig- nity, and Blanche and I have agreed that in point of manners and etiquette she could 105 THE LETTERS OF HER Princesse teach any of our great ladies in England di Spezzia \^q^ j-q \^q\^ themselves. We think she is a dear, and wish we knew how to dress as she does and to stare through lorgnettes and to endure horrid bores such as the Marechale. I wish the Prince appreciated her more ; he plays the devil devilishly well. Sir Charles says there is no question of doubt but that the family was a noble one in the days of the Roman Empire. Adieu. — Your dearest Mamma. io6 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XVI Hotel National, Lucerne 5th September Darling Elizabeth : MRS. ISAACS (who, by the way, is The not one of the children of Israel, Vicomte if her husband was) went yesterday to Berne. The Vicomte says she carried the Almanac de Gotha instead of Baedeker, and that the porter at the hotel who bought her ticket declared that her ultimate destination is Vienna. So that I suppose they are looking up Count Albert. The Vicomte has been like a bear with a sore head ever since Count Fosca auto- mobiled from Paris. He behaves so child- ishly, as if no one in the world should have an automobile but himself. He spends several hours a day fencing with an Italian ; you know duelling is his other occupation in Paris, and I expect he is going to take it up seriously till he gets a new automobile. He glares at Count Fosca and mutters " So " under his breath like a German, and I am 107 THE LETTERS OF HER Ball at expecting to hear daily that they are going Schloss to fight, and all over an automobile ! Gessler g^|. people are too much excited over the ball at Schloss Gessler on the day after to-morrow to pay much attention to the Vicomte and his grievances. Mr. Wertzel- mann told me to-day that if people talked so much about the ball before it came off he wondered what they would say about it after. He never did things by halves, and this was a ball which should be remem- bered for years to come. It is to cost thousands of francs, and if the Russian boyar (don't ask me his name, I know it has an itch at the end of it) who is Mrs. Wertzelmann's devoted admirer, and practically runs Schloss Gessler, does his duty properly, I have no doubt it will be, as Mr. Wertzelmann says, something to remember. It will be the end of the season here, and, as we have stayed longer than we intended, we shall hurry home after it. We really have managed to do other things besides frivol. We have seen the Lion and we have been to Fluelen and drove 1 08 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH to Schloss Sonnenburg, but there was little The of the country or scenery we saw on that Stanzer- occasion, owing to the flies and the dust. ^^^ Yesterday we added to our knowledge of the Lake of the Four Cantons by spending the night on the top of the Stanzerhorn. Quite late in the afternoon Sir Charles came over to the National to ask us if we would come with him then and there to see the sunset and sunrise in the Alps from the Stanzerhorn. He assured us we would find a good hotel and that it was worth the trouble, and as we had nothing better to do we went. Therese filled two handbags with necessaries and we caught the last boat from Lucerne. There was nobody we knew on the boat, and Blanche said she felt game for anything, and game we were before we saw our comfortable rooms at the National again and our indis- pensable Therese and dear, dear Paquin. As Sir Charles had described it as a " rough and ready jaunt," and " a picnic in the clouds," and turned up at the National in snuff-coloured "knickers" that looked as if Bijou had been introducing them to the 109 horn THE LETTERS OF HER The gravel-path, and carrying a brand-new alpen- Stanzer- stock with " Lucerne " and " Giitsch " and " Sonnenburg" burnt into it, we decided to wear our serge walking skirts and men's shirts and straw-hats. Blanche looked very well in hers, for it is a style that suits her, but I nearly wept at my own reflection, and I was delighted there was to be no one else of the party but Sir Charles. Blanche said my skirt was positively indecent ; it came just to the tops of my boots, and was really made for bicycling and not for walking. I felt like a Gordon Highlander, and Blanche declared that if the skirt was a plaid I would have looked like one. Therese too went into fits of laughter, and said she was sure that Sir Charles would not recognise me. I was half incHned to give up the excursion, but Blanche said it was ridiculous, and that I could n't possibly take Paquin to the top of the Stanzerhorn, and that 1 looked charm- ing from my waist up. I tried to discover a blush somewhere in my veins when we stood in the hall of the hotel, but somehow I could n't find one. Fortunately for my vanity we got on to the I lO MOTHER TO ELIZABETH steamboat without being recognised, and I The made a mental vow that I would never em- Stanzer- ploy a Taunton seamstress again. The ^'^^^ Italian boy with the monkey and the post- cards that we saw the first day we arrived, and whom Blanche declared was a nobleman in disguise, was on board. He went second- class, and was talking to a Swiss peasant with goitre just below us. The monkey travelled first all the way to Alpnacht, for the steam- boat people did n't dare touch it ; it ate apples at Blanche's feet when it was n't frightening people out of their wits by bounding about the deck. The disguised nobleman, who can't be more than seventeen, recognised us, and gave such a smile and bow ! Blanche put a franc into the tin cup round the monkey's neck, and when we got off at Stanz the boy brushed off the gang- plank before we stepped on it, with his cap, though the plank was spotless. As Blanche said, it gave her quite a Sir-Walter-Raleigh- Queen-Elizabeth-and-the-Cloak feeling, and we declared he was the most picturesque tramp we had ever seen, but Sir Charles, who has n't a scrap of romance in him, said III horn THE LETTERS OF HER The he looked as if he belonged to an Anarchist Stanzer- Society. Stanz is a funny little town, and people only come to it to leave it. Some Germans with ropes and pick-axes over their shoul- ders, and who looked as if they meant busi- ness, got off at Stanz, and as one makes the ascent of Titlis from here, we concluded that was their destination. Sir Charles made us walk to the little platx to see the statue to Arnold von Winkelreid, but we preferred Tell's at Altdolf The funicular to the top of the Stanzerhorn makes one feel goose- pimply all over ; it is not only steep, but when you get near the top you look out of the car window over a sheer precipice of two thousand feet. There are two cars attached to an endless cable, and while one creeps up the mountain like a horrid antediluvian bug the other crawls down. If the cable should break, one would catapult little Stanz to atoms and the other would Jules Verne itself to the top of the Stanzerhorn. When we got to the two thousand feet place a German woman fainted, and I felt as if I were about to develop heart failure. 112 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH But Blanche and Sir Charles leaned out of The the windows and raved over the scenery, Stanzer- while an American woman read Baedeker ^^^^ out loud to another. As soon as we reached the top, we went to the hotel and got rooms, but discovered to our horror that we had left our bags at Stanz and that we could n't get them that night. We both gave it to Sir Charles, I can tell you, but he only laughed and said the proprietor's wife would fit us out all right. We at once went in search of this individual, and you may im^agine our consternation when I tell you that the proprietor was a bachelor, or a widower — I believe he tried to explain which it was, but we fairly shrieked with horror — and moreover the only females belonging to the hotel were some Swiss girls with symptoms of goitre. The proprietor was bland and apologetic, and told Sir Charles that he would see we were provided with the necessary articles before we went to bed. With this we had to be content, and went out upon a sort of promenade where there was a telescope and a man to explain the views. He seemed to 8 113 horn THE LETTERS OF HER The have learnt his " patter " by heart, for when Stanzer- he was interrupted he had to begin all over. Five minutes before sunset begins they ring a gong and everybody climbs up a tiny peak where you can see only snow moun- tains and the lake like a cloud far below. We waited for half an hour and saw nothing else; the man of the telescope said it was the only failure of the season. It got fright- fully cold all of a sudden, and we went back to the hotel wishing we were at the National. They gave us a remarkably good table d'hote dinner, considering how remote „we were from everything. The people were mostly Germans, and there was such a curi- ous German-American woman who sat next me. If she had been decently dressed she would have been quite pretty ; she was very confidential, as strange Americans are in- clined to be, and gave us her history from the time she was five. She fairly astounded me by saying she was known as Patsy Boli- var, the champion lady swimmer of the world, and she showed me several photo- graphs of herself which she carries about with her, and also one of the gold belt she 114 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH won in New York. Quite contrary to the The usual run of celebrities, she was modest, and Statizer- did not appear at all offended that I had '^''^ never heard of her before. After dinner we all went to watch the flash-light at work, and saw it turned on to the Stanz and Lucerne, in red, white, and blue. As the sunrise was to be very early we went to bed at nine in time to be ready for it. Blanche and I had connecting rooms, and we found on the pillows of our beds two spotless and neatly folded robes de nuit, and a hair-brush and a comb on the dressing- table, and we blessed monsieur le proprie- taire. But imagine our horror, when we were ready to put on our host's garments, to find that they were in reality his own! They reached just above our knees, and had " Ricardo " embroidered in red cotton on the buttons. There was nothing to do but to make the best of it, and as it was terribly cold we hastily got into bed in our proprie- tor's night-shirts, and slept soundly till we heard a hideous gong and knew that it was four o'clock and sunrise. We dressed quickly, and clambered on to the little peak "5 THE LETTERS OF HER The again, where we found everybody shivering Stanzer- and jumping about to keep warm, and while horn ^g waited the sun rose. I won't attempt to describe it, for I am neither Walter Scott nor Baedeker, and if you want to know what it is like you must come to Switzer- land yourself and spend the night on a mountain. We had delicious coffee and rolls before leaving : Sir Charles paid the bill for us. Would you believe it, they actually took off a franc each for the failure of the sunset the previous day. I thought it exceedingly honourable, and different from the grasping way they have at hotels in England where they have only one way of making coffee and omelette, and that is a V Anglais e. We did n't dare thank the proprietor for the things he had lent us, and he said, with such a nice smile to me, as we left : — " Madame est-elle bien dormie 1 Les reves etalent-ils doux.'' J'espere 9a." Horrid man ! Therese was waiting for us when we got back, and had our baths and Paquin ready. — Your dearest Mamma. 116 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XVII Hotel National, Lucerne yth September Darling Elizabeth : THIS is our last day here, and we leave '^^^^ by the express for Paris to-night. ^^ ^' Mr. Wertzelmann said he was going to give ^^^^^ a ball that would be remembered, and he has kept his promise. I hardly know where to begin to tell you all about it. I had one offer of marriage and one of elopement, and got home at six in the morning. First of all, Blanche and I, looking every bit as well dressed as any of the smart women here, drove out to Schloss Gessler by ourselves. Comte Belladonna and Mr. Vanduzen hinted outrageously for the two vacant seats, but we did n't intend to have our frocks crushed to save them a few francs, and would n't take their hints. The Comte eventually got Mrs. Isaacs* seat in Mrs. Johnson's landau, but Mr. Vanduzen had to hire, and just as he was about to drive off the Duchesse de Vaudri- 117 THE LETTERS OF HER inann Ball The court rushed up and begged him for a seat, Wertzel- ^^ g}^g could n't get a cab in the town. Therese told me. this morning that the Duchesse has no maid, and that her room is above the escalier de service next to the Comte's, so I fancy they keep her at the National too as an advertisement for the sake of her name, though it 's only Louis Philippe. When we arrived at Schloss Gessler the scene was undeniably lovely ; the grounds were like fairy-land, and Mr. Wertzel- mann had had the electric light brought out from Lucerne, and had tried to turn a part of the lake into a Venetian canal. Mrs. Wertzelmann, in the most lovely costume I ever saw, received in the great hall. She never looked handsomer ; her dress was made entirely of point lace over white silk, and made as only Worth or Paquin ever make for American millionaires. Round her neck was a serpent of diamonds holding in its open jaws an immense emerald. Both she and Mr. Wertzelmann received their guests with the most perfect sincerity and hospitality. There was not a scrap of affecta- ii8 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH mann Ball tion about them ; it must be nice to be so The rich that you can afford to be natural. Mr. Wertzel- Wertzelmann wore on the lapel of his dress-coat something like a button, with the American flag on it as a badge ; all the foreigners wore decorations ; don't ask me what they were, — if they were not Garters or Black Eagles, they looked as well. Even Sir Charles wore an Ashantee medal ; he went in his uniform especially at Mr. Wertzelmann's request, who said he wanted a bit of colour in the room, only Sir Charles's tunic is not scarlet, and he looked somewhat like a commissionaire. Madame Colorado was angelic as usual — what a lovely nun she would make ! She was helping the Wertzelmanns to receive, and she looked after the Americans from the -pensions that the Minister felt obliged to in- vite. It was great fun watching the guests arrive, and as we got there early we saw everybody ; the Hungarian band from the National came out in a char-a-banc, but the supper was sent out in the afternoon. The ball-room was draped with the American and Swiss flags, and the national anthems of the 119 THE LETTERS OF HER The two countries were played before the dancing Wertzel- began. There was no " state set as we ma?ifi Ball have in England, and nobody paid any at- tention to precedence. Mrs. Wertzelmann opened the ball with young Stefano. There was something higgledy-piggledy yet very splendid about the whole function ; it went with far more spirit than such things go with us; people had come to enjoy themselves, and not to be martyrised by stupid formalities and etiquette. The musicians played ravish- ingly ; they seemed to be intoxicated with their music, and sometimes they could n't contain themselves but sang to the waltzes. There was an elan in the air. Mrs. Wert- zelmann's portrait by Constant had electric lights all round the frame, and there was a champagne fountain in the refreshment room. The gaiety was almost barbaric in its extrav- agance, and was contagious. The men said the most outrageous things. The Marquis de Pivart, who had not paid much attention to me since I chaffed him about Heloise that night at the Schweitzerhof, danced with me three times running; he dances well, but held me so tight I could hardly breathe, and I20 viann Ball MOTHER TO ELIZABETH his breath was so hot on my neck it burnt. TJie He asked me if I would like to go down to ^Vertzel- the lake to see the illumination ; the night was splendid and very warm, there was no dew, and you could see the snow on Titlis as the moonbeams fell on it. Without any preamble the Marquis burst into the most passionate declarations. He told me he had loved me in secret since the first time he had met me ; would I flee with him then and there, catch the night train for Berne and Paris, live like Alfred de Musset and George Sand, and a lot more idiotic bosh; and he put his arms round me, and before I could release myself he bit me on the neck. I was so frightened that for the first time in. my life, Elizabeth, I lost my presence of mind — I screamed. I don't know whether any one heard or saw, and I don't care. I told him he was a brute and I hated him, and I rushed as hard as I could under a huge Bengal light where I could easily be seen. 1 trembled so I could scarcely stand, and some of the wax from the candle dripped upon me. He came up with excuses and more protestations of love^ but I said if he 121 mann Ball THE LETTERS OF HER The did n't leave me at once I should scream for Wertzel- help, and I must have looked as if I meant it, for he muttered something in his horrid black beard and went away. Then I went back to the ball-room and found Blanche. I told her what had happened, and asked her if she could see the marks of his teeth. She said the place only looked a tiny bit red, and we went to the dressing-room, where I powdered it. After that I told Blanche that I shouldn't feel safe except with the dowagers. They sat in a room by themselves and had waiters bringing them champagne and ices, and they talked the most outrageous scandal. I sat down beside Mrs. Johnson ; she said I looked pale and recommended some cham- pagne frappee, and called a waiter and or- dered a glass for me and one for herself. She was very talkative and fairly peppered her conversation with French words, though she would n't understand you if you said, " Com- ment vous portez-vous ? " She told me that the Wertzelmanns were parvenus — mushrooms, she called them — and Mr. W. had made his money out of 122 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH oil, and that they had never been into Soci- The ety till they came abroad. She was very '^^^t^^^- communicative also on the subject of Rosa- lie's marriage, which she said was to take place in Paris in the autumn and would be a very grand affair. As for Count Albert she had n't enough praise for him, and he was so devoted and attentive in coming often to see if she wanted anything that I am sure he knows where the dollars are to come from. I tried to find out what had taken Mrs. Isaacs away so suddenly, but Mrs. Johnson is cunning, she smelt a rat, and the only reason I could extract was " business." She made one amusing break. Mrs. Wertzelmann came in to see if all was go- ing well with the chaperones, and exclaimed when she saw me among them. Mrs. John- son, who evidently hates her, began to put on " side," and talked about her hotel in the Faubourg St. Germain, which she rented from the Due de Quatre Bras, and described a ball she had given there to which all the demi monde had come. Funny as this was, it was made still funnier by the fact that Mrs. Wertzelmann, who knows no more of 123 fnann Ball THE LETTERS OF HER JTie French than Mrs. Johnson, did n't see the Wertzel- joke. I had by this time recovered sufficiently to go back to the ball-room, where, as it was on the stroke of midnight, the cotillon was about to commence. Young Stefano came up and asked me to dance it with him. The Marquis had the grace not to put in an appearance ; I believe he was playing bac- carat in the card-room. The favours were very pretty and appro- priate, as the Wertzelmanns did not choose them, but simply gave the Maison Bail carte blanche. The Duchesse de Vaudri- court was disappointed ; I believe she ex- pected to get diamonds. The Vicomte de Narjac and the Russian with an unpro- nounceable name and a grande -passion for Mrs. Wertzelmann, who, I hope, knows how to contain himself better than the Marquis, led the cotillon. They did it awfully well, as if they had never done anything else all their lives. They went somewhere and changed their clothes, and came back with Louis Quinze perukes, crimson satin coats, with lace fichus and 124 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH black knee-breeches and stockings, and The diamond buckles in their pumps. They ^^^^2^^- really looked quite smart, while an English- man would have felt self-conscious and fool- ish, and looked it. At two o'clock the dancing ceased, and supper was served at tete-a-tete tables on the battlements, as Mr. Wertzelmann per- sists in calling the terrasse. The supper was delicious, and there was a waiter to each chair; the Hungarian band came out and played, and paper balloons, in the shape of monsters with lights inside, were sent up in the air from the lawn. It was awfully jolly and gay, and poor Stefano took too much champagne. It made his eyes burn like coals ; he began by telling me in Italian that he should never forget me for my kindness in presenting him to the Princesse di Spezzia — they left Lucerne yesterday, and so did the Lodi — and ended by declaring he adored me. He was so fearfully earnest, and his voice was so subdued and tender, and he never attempted any liberties that I almost wished he would. I am sure he ought to have ^25 mann Ball THE LETTERS OF HER The been born the Marquis, and the Marquis Wertzel- behind a counter. He wanted me to marry him, and told me how many hra they paid him at the shop a month, and that we could keep a menage very well on his salary ; we were to have rooms in the Via Tornabuoni over a Bon Marche he knew of, and dine once a week in the Cascine, and look at the smart people. It was too absurd. But he meant it, and when I told him No firmly, two tears came into his eyes, and he had such a Lion of Lucerne look that I almost laughed. And he is only seventeen ! Poor Stefano ! if they make love like him in Italy, I wonder how the women ever refuse. But your mamma, Elizabeth, knows her world too well to do a betise. Stefano and his love-making was just the last finishing touch to a delightful revel. When he gets the champagne out of his eyes and the Hunga- rian band out of his brain, he will forget me. But I think it is a mistake to admit people of such very inferior rank into our society, even if they speak grammatically and read Alfieri. Comte Belladonna wilted at midnight ; he 126 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH danced once with Rosalie, and would have The given anything afterwards to go back to the ^^^^^el- National. He is made more for afternoon- „ „ Ball tea and dmner parties than for balls. He hinted several times to Mrs. Johnson that they should go, but she is as hard as nails, and waited till the end. When he finally did go, the sun was rising in the Alps ; he not only looked his eighty years, but had dwindled till he looked like the boy in the Struwelpter who faded away from starva- tion. I expect he wished he had never come, like the Marechale. Ah well, it has been a jolly jaunt, and in spite of the dissi- pation I feel the better for the change. We shall both be in England together. I won- der if you have enjoyed Croixmare as much as Blanche and I have enjoyed Lucerne. I am so glad we did n't go to Scarborough. Au revoir. — Your dearest Mamma. 127 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XVIIl Claridge's Hotel, London 14th September Darling Elizabeth : I?i T^LANCHE and I are stopping here for London \^ a few days before going home. After all the gaiety of Lucerne Blanche declared it would give her the blues to drop suddenly back into Somersetshire, with its biking and tennis and gossip, so we decided to break the fall in London. Of course, town is still en villegiature as the French say, but I like it, as one can be so much freer than in the Season. Bond Street is triste in the mornings, and as for the Park, oh, la la ! — the only people one sees there are the hospital nurses and the policemen. We don't get up till eleven, and then go straight to Paquin, till one. The first day we had lunch at Prince's, but there were such funny-looking people there that we have been to the Trocadero since. I am sure those who were at Prince's were there because they had heard it was fashion- 128 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH able. The maitre d'hote!^ who was chef to At the the bishop of St. Esau, told me that there Empire had n't been even a baronet across the thresh- old for two months. I am sure the people came from Leeds and Birmingham, and they stared at one another as if they expected to read Burke or Debrett written on their faces. At the Trocadero the music is good, and though you would never dream of calling the people smart, yet they are interesting. The women look like problem-plays, and I am sure the men spend their time between Sandown Park and St. John's Wood. We went once to the Empire, but it was awfully stupid, and I never want to go again. Being September, the boxes were empty, and only a few of the orchestra stalls were taken, but the gallery and the pit seemed full, and the Aubrey Beardsley women were walking about just as usual. But such a perform- ance ! Blanche and I never laughed once for the night ; we were told afterwards that you are not supposed to expect anything funny at the first-class music halls now-a- days ; if you want to laugh you must go to the cheap places. A fat woman in tights 9 129 THE LETTERS OF HER At and a stage smile had some performing par- Claridge's rots and birds, and one or two people in evening-dress, who have left the chorus of the Opera to star, sang something, and there was a huge ballet whose chief features ap- pear to be the time and cost it takes to pro- duce — that was all. You could n't imagine anything more deadly dull, and a man near us slept all through the ballet. Blanche and I felt utterly exhausted after it ; it was so boring. They say the Palace and the Al- hambra are not a bit different ; only the Palace, in place of the ballet has a Biograph, which wiggles and makes you feel cross- eyed. We found it much jollier to spend the evenings in the drawing-room at Claridge's. I don't know why we came to such a place, and I certainly never will again. There are very few people stopping in the hotel, a couple of Grand Dukes, some Americans, and the Duchess of Rougemont, who is up in town for a few days. This morning Something Pasha, with a fez, arrived from Cairo, and Eleanora, Countess of Merry- one and her boy husband. I am sure it 130 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH is a love-match, for he won't let her out Countess of his sight, and looks at her as if she ^/^'^''O'- were something good to eat. She must be ^"^ fully twenty-five years older than he and looks it, for he has n't a hair on his face, and blushes when you speak to him. But she keeps her youth, and when the Society papers call her beautiful they speak the truth for once. I remember her quite well when I was your age ; she was known then as the beau- tiful Lady Merryone, and Society was di- vided into two parties, one of which declared that she was the most beautiful woman in England, and the other that Mrs. Palsgrave was. Their photographs were in all the shop windows, and their portraits in every Academy, and fashions were named after them. There was the Palsgrave toque and the Merryone bolero, and everything they did was chronicled in the papers, just as if it mattered. Each tried to outdo the other, and Mrs. Palsgrave, who had the most beau- tiful feet you ever saw out of marble, went to an historical fancy-ball as Cleopatra, and her feet were absolutely bare. Her portrait 131 one THE LETTERS OF HER Countess was afterwards painted in the costume, but it of Merry- ^as hung at the salon, as it was considered too indecent for the Academy. And what a sensation it was when Mr. Palsgrave blew his brains out in the height of a London Season, and left so many debts that Mrs. Palsgrave to get rid of them went on the stage, where a Serene Highness saw her and fell in love with her, and married her. They say you would n't recognise her now, she has changed so ; she lives somewhere in Ger- many and is as grey as a badger and as red as a lobster and bloated with beer. But Eleanora, Countess of Merryone, is still to the fore. Merryone, who was old enough to be her grandfather, died of a fit of jealousy ; then she turned Roman Catho- lic and went into a convent, but it sounds better in books than it is in practice, and she came out again in six months and married a Bishop within a year of Merryone's death, and buried him within another year. She has been a Primrose Dame and a Temper- ance lecturer and a Theosophist, and kept a stud at Newmarket, and edited a daily, and started for the North Pole but turned back 132 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH at Iceland, and now she has married this Disguis- boy. And she is n't a lunatic at large, but a ^^g ^g^ woman who ought to have borne children, and had cares and anxieties. It makes me feel quite old, when I think, of her and Mrs. Palsgrave, and see all the changes of the last eighteen years. But I won't think of time and the Burial Service yet awhile. I saw Valmond in Piccadilly to- day, and I believe I could catch him myself if I tried, for I have n't got a grey hair, at least Therese manages to hide them ; and I have n't got a moustache, and my eyes have n't got wrinkles round the corners, and my neck has n't begun to shrink. I am only thirty-five, Elizabeth, and a Society belle's star sets late. — Your dearest Mamma. 133 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XIX Claridge's Hotel, London 1 6th September Darling Elizabeth : r Affaire TIK 7E met Sir Charles Bevon in Regent Colorado V V Street this morning. He had just arrived from the continent, and looked it, for he wore a Glengarry cap and a yellow and brown check travelling suit, and carried on his arm a hideous ulster-looking thing that had stripes all over it. He said he was going to the Cafe Royal to lunch, and asked us if we would join him, and, as we wanted to hear what had happened at Lucerne after we left, we accepted his invitation. The Wertzelmanns* ball ended the season ; when Sir Charles left a week after us the National was almost empty. The great sen- sation that followed the ball was what he called " I'affaire Colorado." You remem- ber my mentioning the angelically beau- tiful creature stopping at Schloss Gessler? Well, it seems Count Fosca gave a break- fast-party at the Giitsch, and said in chaff 134 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH that he believed Madame Colorado was L Affaire the ''dame voilee" of the Dreyfus Affair. Colorado This was repeated, and Madame Colorado, it seems, nearly died of mortification. Her brother was telegraphed for, and he came over at once from St. Moritz and challenged Count Fosca. He was a tiny little man, with red hair and a pale face, and looked as if Fosca's pistols would blow him to atoms. He asked Sir Charles and Mr. Vanduzen to be his temoins, but both of course refused. Mr. Vanduzen got posi- tively funky, and said his Government would take away his pension, if he had anything to do with duelling. So Madame Colorado's brother asked the Marquis and the Vicomte, who jumped at the chance. I don't know whom Fosca asked. The duel excited no end of talk and scandal. The most awful things were said about Madame Colorado and Mr. Wertzelmann, and poor Madame Colorado, who had had such an unhappy marriage, and had thought of entering a convent, was simply picked to pieces. Every one made the affaire his or her own business, and the Duchesse de 135 THE LETTERS OF HER U Affaire Vaudricourt declared that Madame Colo- Colorado X2A0 had behaved so badly with a priest that the nuns would n't have her at any price. The upshot of it all was that, after the greatest publicity and scurrility, Count Fosca apologised, said his words had been entirely misquoted, that he had the greatest respect for Madame Colorado, and he took her brother and the temoins over to Berne in his automobile, and they all signed docu- ments before the French Minister. Sir Charles said that after that, Madame Colorado and her brother left Lucerne with Mrs. Wertzelmann, and Mr, Wertzelmann went to Berne to transact some diplomatic business. Sir Charles left himself immedi- ately afterwards, and spent some days in Paris, where he met the Vicomte, who told him that Mrs. Isaacs had come back and broken off the engagement between Rosalie and Count Albert. As far as the Vicomte could ascertain she had been to Vienna to make enquiries about the Count, and found out to her horror that he had a wife and several children, and that he was n't di- vorced. Mrs. Johnson gave the Count 136 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH his conge and threatened him with all sorts Society at of condign vengeance, but Sir Charles said Lucerne Count Albert probably laughed, as no doubt it was not the first time he had tried the same little game. It was fun for a fortnight, but I am sure the society at Lucerne would have bored me if I had stopped much longer. Of course it has n't got the backbone of ours at home, and all sorts of people mix in it, as you see, from millionaires to clerks. All that is asked of one is to be amusing, and, if you are an American, to spend your money. Nobody knows anything really about anybody else, and, as everybody wants to be distracted, there are no scruples as to the means employed. I should not like to see Lucerne customs adopted in England, but after all one meets the same sort of people in London, and, to give the devil his due, I believe that the Hotel National set is no worse than Lord Valmond's or Mrs. Smith's. Sir Charles thinks we ought to try a winter at Rome. But I shall settle down quietly at Monk's Folly for some time to 137 THE LETTERS OF HER Domes- come. There is one thing I would willingly tics exchange with our Continental friends, and that is the domestics in our smart hotels. Here, in England, they give themselves the airs of royal servants, and condescend to wait on us inferior mortals ; they make me feel positively uncomfortable with their im- pudent solemnity. I hear Blanche warning me from the next room not to miss the train, so good-bye till I get home. — Your dearest Mamma. 138 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XX Monk's Folly, i8th September Darling Elizabeth : HOME once more! I never knew how ^/ Home much I had missed it till I got back. I wonder how I ever left it, everything is so comfortable and refined. I feel quite clean again — I mean morally clean, and that's a sensation that we in our station and particu- lar set get so seldom. I believe the return to an English home is a moral douche. I feel virtuous ; I went to hear Mr. Frame preach in the morning and almost went again this evening, I half made up my mind to put aside Paquin and make a guy of myself, I felt so good ; but a glimpse of Lady Beatrice in church this morning with a Taunton milliner's dream on her back, put me off, and as soon as I had taken a tiny blue pill and driven the hypochondria of Lucerne dissipation away, I shall be my old self again — the self you know, Elizabeth, all Paquin and Henry Arthur Jones. 139 THE LETTERS OF HER Tipping What an awful imposition tipping is. Servants won't look at small change now-a- days, and when I gave the boy who works the lift five shillings, his " Thank you " sounded just like " Damn you." Mrs. Chevington, who came over this afternoon, told me of an experience she had the last time she was in town, but I am sure I should never have had the courage to do what she did. She was only three days in some hotel in the West End ; she had tipped the chamber-maid, the man in the hft, the maitre d hotels the waiter, and sent a half-sovereign in to the cook, and was waiting for a hansom, when up rushed a man she had never seen before to help her into it. He took off his hat and was very polite ; hotel-porter was written all over him, and she supposed she ought to tip him, but said her gorge rose at it, as he had never done anything for her. However, she put a half-crown in his hat, and he never said " Thank you," which made her so savage that she took it back again. The result was that at Paddington the cabman thought she was stingy, and he was so 140 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH abusive that she had to call a policeman, Unevent- and compel the man to take the right fare.A^ But then Mrs. Chevington is masterful, "^^^^S^ and does n't mind attracting a crowd and being insulted, while I should have fainted with mortification. I am sending you a cheque expressly for tips, for I know that in country houses they are even more grasping than in hotels. I wish Royalty would stop it, for I don't think any other means will ever avail. Blanche came over to supper, and to spend the night, for she said she wanted to talk of the National and old times, and at home it was nothing but tennis, bicycles, and church. Things have been rather uneventful while we were away ; we missed some races at Bath, to which the Parkers took a Pullman- full of people. Lady Beatrice gave a dance, and there was a Sunday-school feast at Braxome, when the boys pulled up all of Lady Beatrice's geraniums, and threw stones on the roof of the stables for the fun of hearing the horses plunge in the stalls, and, to Mr. Frame's terror, when Lady Beatrice scolded them, they made faces at her. 141 THE LETTERS OF HER Monsieur The Blaines have had to send away Mon- Malonne sieur Malorme ; he made love to Daisy, and when she told him it was impertinent, he was so cut up that one of the footmen found him trying to hang himself with his hand- kerchief from a nail in the wall of his room, having first taken down a snow-storm that Mrs. Blaine had painted when she was twelve. But the only damage he succeeded in doing was to put his foot through the canvas, and pull down half the wall. The Blaines have since heard that he did a similar thing when coaching the Duke of Fitz Arthur. Since then, Daisy has received threatening letters in a female hand from Soho, giving her the choice between being summoned as a co- respondent, and paying ten guineas. Poor Mrs. Blaine has been awfully upset about it, and has put the matter in Mr. Rumple's hands. I don't think there is any more gossip to tell you, save that Tom Carterville, who was at Eton with Charlie Carriston, and went out with the Yeomanry to South Africa, has come back. Lady Beatrice is so glad to have him home safe and sound that she in- 142 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH tends to return thanks to the Almighty by Society entertaining a good deal. Papers Mrs. Chevington told me in the afternoon that she had read in one of the Society papers that the Smiths have taken a house in Park Lane, and that Mr. Wertz, the African millionaire you met at Nazeby, is engaged to marry Cushla O'Cork, the Irish agitatress. But then, you know, the Society papers will say anything to fill up their columns, and it must be so hard to find something new and true every week. I like your habit of always practising the ingenue^ even in your letters to me, it helps you to act it the better. I hope you will meet Lord Valmond soon again, but of course you will, as he is sure to be visiting at the same houses. Write me all that happens, just as I write to you. There is nothing so nice as a letter full of what other people are doing. — Your dearest Mamma. 143 THE LETTERS OF HER Season LETTER XXI Monk's Folly, 29th October Darling Elizabeth : The t I ^HE hockey season has begun here, Hockey J_ ^j^^ ^}^g game is played somewhere every day. Of course, 1 only go to look on, and can't imagine myself, in a short skirt and thick boots, rushing about a damp field. Yesterday the Blaines had a party, and I have been having twinges of neuralgia all day from it, for it was awfully wet and cold. Mrs. Blaine and I sat on an iron roller, till we were chilled to the bone. There was a fog so thick that nobody knew which side they belonged to, and Lady Beatrice, who really at her age ought to stop, got a blow on her forehead just above the nose. The play only stopped a minute for people to shout, " Dear Lady Beatrice, hope you are not hurt ! " and Tom Carter- ville took advantage of the momentary dis- traction to sneak a goal. Mrs, Blaine took Lady Beatrice indoors, and, as Lady Beatrice 144 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH described it to me, she filled a basin with Father blood. She showed me her ankles, and ^^^bit there was n't a bit of white skin from the knees down, but she said hockey was great fun, and kept her in health. They always put her to keep goal, for she is so fat it is only one chance in a hundred that a ball will pass her. Father Ribbit came to look on, and walked back to the house with me when the match was over. He said tea was the best part of hockey, and I agreed with him ; he tried nearly everything on the tea-table, and talked with his mouth full of chocolate cake about the price of incense. I really can't understand how the Blaines go to his church, but Blanche says it is on account of her mother, who thinks Low Church schismatic. You should have seen Father Ribbit glare at Mr. Frame when he came into the room, looking in his hockey things as if he had been mending the roads. Father Ribbit wears a silk neckcloth with LH.S. embroi- dered on it, and Blanche says he puts ashes on his head in Holy Week. Mrs. Dorking, who is a Roman Catholic, told me nothing lo 145 THE LETTERS OF HER Father made her laugh so much as a High Church Ribbtt AngHcan ; they were always doing odd things, which the Low Church people called " Popish Practices," but in reality nothing was more erroneous, and that she had heard that no two Ritualist priests did the same things. Mrs. Blaine had induced her once to go to Father Ribbit's, and assured her she would n't find any difference between her own service and his. Mrs. Dorking said she stuffed her handkerchief into her mouth to keep from shrieking, for Father Ribbit seemed to be making up rites as he went along, and did n't at all look or act like a real priest. Lady Beatrice, who happened to overhear us, and looks on Rome and Ritualism as the abomination of abomination, said she wished Henry the Eighth was alive, and that she would as soon think of inviting " that Ribbit to Braxome as a play-actor." Tom Carterville is much improved since he went to South Africa. Before he went 8ut he was only an overgrown boy, but the experience has made him quite manly. His mother is always telling people in his hear- ing what dangers he ran, and how brave he 146 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH was. Like everybody else, she likes to play A Maid's Aunt Sally with the poor War Office, but her Audacity grievance is that Tom has n't been recom- mended for the V.C. Tom declares he never ran any danger at all, for he was never sent to the front, and never saw a Boer the whole time; and he didn't even get enteric, or kicked by a horse. But Lady Beatrice fairly beams, and says it 's his modesty, and she wishes he had been shut up in Ladysmith, for she knows he would have found a way to raise the siege, and Tom looks quite foolish, and says, "Damn ! " One of the maids at Braxome dressed up in his khaki uniform the other day, and went into the kitchen, where she frightened the servants out of their wits at her audacity. It seems Lady Beatrice went to the servants* hall that day, a thing she has never been known to do before, and arrived there in time to hear the butler say to the maid : " What would you do if Mr. Tom should catch you in his uniform ? " To which the ' girl replied, suiting the action to her words, " I should salute him ! " Tom, who told me the story and put a 147 THE LETTERS OF HER Seniants Trouble- double entendre in it, like a horrid boy, said it some would be hard to say whether the servants were more horrified to see his mother, or his mother at the unheard-of fastness of the upper housemaid, who, he added, was a pretty little wench, and brought him his tea in the mornings before he got out of bed. I am almost inclined to make my peace with those bores who are always talking ser- vants. Mine have been troubling me so much lately that I feel quite martyrised. I ordered the carriage to go to Taunton the other morning, and got myself ready, when, would you believe, that Perkins sent in to say that I could n't go, as the roads were too heavy and the horses would slip ! I sent for him and implored him to relent, and he finally let Alfred drive me in the dog-cart, and Alfred drove so fast, I thought I should be pitched out. I call it quite unkind of Perkins, and he has been with us ten years too. Then, again, the other morning Tom Carterville came to ask me if I could lend him any golf balls, and Therese told me afterwards that she found James peeping through the keyhole, and when she remon- J48 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH strated, he threatened to blackmail me; now Trouble- I know why Lord Froom got rid of him, ^077te and I have given him notice. But the worst ^^^^^^^^ of all, Elizabeth, is the new page. You know how hard it is to get one at all. Well, finally, in despair, I followed Mrs. Cheving- ton's advice and sent to the workhouse in Bath for a boy. I'hey sent me such a pretty little fellow, about twelve years old. I had him measured for his livery, and he looked such a dear in it, and was picking up his duties so quickly, but I have had to send him back to Bath to his workhouse. The kitchen cat had kittens, and cook, very fool- ishly, gave them to the boy, and told him to get rid of them. Some little while later, I heard a horrid miaouing on the lawn, and went to the window to see what it was. I found the new page digging a hole in the geranium beds, and something sputtering about in the earth. Fancy, Elizabeth, he was burying the poor little kittens alive^ the little monster ! Of course I could n't keep him after that, could I ? So you see, darling, even if you are a pretty and rich widow, and only live for 149 THE LETTERS OF HER Trouble- some Servants Paquin and a good time, you still have your troubles. Lady Beatrice says the question of servants is more troublesome than Home Rule, and I agree with her. Give my love to Lady Theodosia, but don't tell her that I am glad she does n't live in this part of the country. — Your dearest Mamma. «S0 MO 1^ HER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XXII Monk's Folly, 31st October Darling Elizabeth : T OM CARTERVILLE came again Tom this morning: to ask if I would lend Carter- him Jerry to ride to Wellington, as the equestrian cook has lamed the three saddle- horses at Braxome. I sent to ask Perkins for permission, and after I got it, Tom did n't seem in a hurry to go, and stopped so long that I had to ask him to lunch, and then he waited till tea. He is an amusing boy, but I wish he did n't look so much like his mother. When he is a little older he is going to be enormous. You know he was at Eton with Charlie Carriston, and declares there was n't a greater sneak in the school. I told him about Cora de la Haye and the diamond necklace, and Tom says she is just the sort of woman to make trouble, and that Lady Carriston had better put on her life-preserver, for there is going to be a storm 151 THE LETTERS OF HER Daintree of Charlie's brewing. He told me all about Affair t-}^g Daintree affair ; he called Daintree a rot- ter, and says he will never marry the girl. You know Lady Daintree went to the War Office herself, and refused to leave till they promised to order Daintree out to South Africa at once. The girl is suing for breach of promise, — ten thousand pounds damages, — Tom says that the Daintree barony will never stand it, for it has n't recovered from the late lord's plunging on the turf He says that Connie Metcalfe is good enough for Daintree, who is an awful mug, and that a Gaiety girl would make as good a ladyship as a coryphee at the Empire. It seems to me that Lady Daintree is her- self to blame for it all ; if she had used tact with her son and brought him up sensibly, she would n't have to eat her pride now. I asked Tom if he intended to follow the fashion and marry in the theatrical world, and have Lady Beatrice begging the War Office to send him to the Front, so that he might die sooner than disgrace her. He looked at me with a queer expression and said he preferred to follow the other fashion 152 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH now in vogue, and marry a beauty twice his Dmnerai age. 1 told him I believed he was thinking Asfky of Miss Tancred of Exeter, the temperance ^^^''^ lecturer, who read " L'Assommoir " to the Braxome tenantry last week, and who wears short hair, green goggles and a bicycle skirt, and is fifty, if she is a day. Tom laughed, and said I had hit the right nail on the head. A jolly youngster, and might do for you, Elizabeth, if Valmond turns sour. He will have Braxome and twenty thousand a year when Lady Beatrice dies. To-night I dined at Astley Court ; the Parkers have a large house-party. Miss Parker is to marry Clandevil in ten days, the invitations have been out some time ; it is to be a very grand affair. Both she and the Duke appear bored with one another already, and Mr. Parker has been heard to say to a compatriot that his daughter had made him promise her a title, and that he had bought her an English duke ; it was a bit off colour, but good at the price. I went in to dinner with an odious man, a Mr. Sweetson ; he is Mr. Parker's partner in America, and was so patronising. He 153 Man THE LETTERS OF HER An wore a button with the American flag on it, Odious just like Mr. Wertzelmann the night of the ball at Schloss Gessler, and underneath it there was another one of white enamel with " Let her go, Gallagher," in black letters on it. I wonder what it could have meant ; I would have asked him, but I thought it might seem rude. The people at Croixmare could n't have eaten worse than Mr. Sweet- son ; he put his napkin in his collar, and it was well he did, for he spilled his soup all over it, and he sucked his teeth when he had finished. I asked him what he thought of England, and he replied that he preferred to spend his money in his own country, and could n't see how a man like Mr. Parker, who had the brains to make the big for- tune he had, could settle down in one of the effete countries of the Old World. And he added if he had his way he would put the Monroe Doctrine into force and drive Eu- rope altogether out of America. He be- came quite farouche^ and I am sure he is an Irish-American, for they say they hate us more than the other Americans. Algy Chevington told me that Mr. Sweetson is 154 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH a Tammany Tiger, whatever that is ; at any An rate it is n't anything nice, and I am sure Odtous Mr. Parker had better put him to eat in the "^^'^ servants' hall hereafter. He is some rela- tion to Mrs. Parker, for he called her Cousin Petunia ; Clandevil looked as if he could have strangled him, and Algy says Mr. Parker must have put down millions in hard cash, or Clandevil would never go through with the marriage. Mr. Sweetson stepped on Lady Beatrice's yellow brocade after dinner, and ripped out fully a yard of stitches. You should have seen the glance she gave him ; it was more terrible than the one she bestowed on Mr. Frame the day he was unlucky enough to beat her at tennis. Mr. Sweetson was aw- fully embarrassed ; if it had been anyone less objectionable, I should have felt sorry for him. He only made matters worse by asking her what it cost, for he would send her ladyship a dress the following day at double the price. Lady Beatrice put up her pince-nez, and stared at him without uttering a word ; then she sailed across the room and sat down beside Mrs. Cheving- THE LETTERS OF HER Mrs. Dot ton. "Cousin Petunia" told Mr. Sweetson that if he wanted to smoke, he would find the gentlemen in the billiard-room. He took the hint. Tom Carterville came and sat down next to me, and made me nearly choke with the funny things he said about the Parkers, and he believes his mother will drop them. There is such a garrulous old lady stopping at Astley, Mrs. Dot ; Tom took her in to supper. She came across the room and joined us. She began to talk about the nobility, and told us she considered she belonged to it, for though she was an American, she could trace her ancestry back to the Scottish Chiefs, and she asked Tom what he thought it would cost to have Burke put her in the peerage among the collateral branches. Then she told us she was descended also from Admiral Coligny. Poor dear Coligny, she called him, and she certainly would have been a Roman Catho- lic, if it hadn't been for Coligny. Tom asked her quite innocently if she had left Coligny in America, and when he intended to come over. " When he comes to Astley, 156 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH Mrs. Dot," he said, " be sure you let me Mrs. Dot know, I '11 give him a run with the West Somerset Harriers." "He's dead! Mr. Carterville," she fairly shrieked. " Oh, I beg your pardon," he said. " I thought from the way you spoke that he was in New York or Chicago, making money like all nice Americans." " Oh, is it possible, Mr. Carterville," she went on, " that you have never heard of Coligny, poor dear Coligny, who was killed in the St. Bartholomew Massacre ! " " With all due respect to your relation," Tom said, " I never heard of the sad catas- trophe ; I don't read any but the sporting papers. I suppose the what-do-you-call-it massacre was in one of your little wars on the frontier. I hope they did n't get his scalp, Mrs. Dot." Miss Parker, who was sitting quite near and heard every word, turned round and said, " Don't you see they are making fun of you. Aunt?" Mrs. Dot turned very red and simpered, and Tom and I felt as if we were looking for the North Pole. 157 THE LETTERS OF HER Novel- I do call it unkind for people to make reading you feel uncomfortable in their houses. Servants ^\^^^^ Parkers are not at all like the Wert- zelmanns and the other Americans I met at Lucerne. And I am sure if Lady Beatrice does call on them, that Lady Archibald Fairoaks and the Marchioness of Runy- mede, who are the nicest kind of Americans, would n't. Good-night, darling, I shall ex- pect to hear from you to-morrow. — Your dearest Mamma. P. S. — When I got back from Astley to-night, I had the greatest difficulty to get into the house. No one answered the bell, and finally Perkins, who has a key to the kitchen, let me in that way. I went into the dining-room and rang and called ; still no one came. I then went upstairs and found Therese, the two maids, the cook, and the new page, sitting round a blazing wood fire in my bedroom, and cook was reading " The Master Christian " to them aloud ! I cried from pure vexation, for one can't send all one's servants away at the same 158 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH time. I am sure I can't see why the lo'^tr Novel- classes should have noveHsts, but they have reading everything just like us now-a-days. And 'SV-^^a///^ when I was in town last month, at Claridge's, the Duchess of Rougemont told me she did n't know what the world was coming to, for het maid belonged to a Corelli Society, and she had actually sat next her own foot- man at a Paderewski Recital the last time the pianist was in London. 159 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XXIII Monk's Folly, 2nd November Darling Elizabeth : Theatri- ^ | "^HE Blaines had some theatricals yes- cah X terday in St. Leo's school-house, to raise money to give Father Ribbit a host. In spite of the weather being horrid I went. They acted " My Lord in Livery," and a manager came down from a West End theatre to stage it. They only cleared two guineas when all expenses were paid, which of course won't buy a host, though Mrs. Blaine suggested they might find a second- hand one cheap in an old curiosity shop. I thought the acting was atrocious, but they were all mightily pleased with themselves, and are now thinking of playing " The Second Mrs, Tanqueray," and renting the Taunton theatre. But that is always the way with amateurs. Lady Beatrice is getting up tableaux at Braxome in opposition, and Mr. Frame came to-day to ask me to help. Tom 160 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH brought me a nice note from his mother, Church imploring me to say Yes, and I have con- ^"^ '^^^- sented, and there is to be a lunch at Brax- ^^^^^^^-^ ome to-morrow to decide on what we shall do. Lady Beatrice says she feels it her duty to use all her influence with the Bishop to have Father Ribbit tried by the Ecclesi- astical Court. There is every sign of a church war, for Mrs. Blaine declares she will write to her uncle, who is in the Cabinet, to back up Father Ribbit. And it 's nothing but church and theatricals ; as you know down here in the country it is always church and something else. I shall do all I can to fan the fire, and Tom has promised to help me, for we are so terribly dull, anything will serve to wake us up a bit. I have called on the Vane-Corduroys, who have leased Shotover Park from the De Mantons. Poor Lady de Manton cried when she left it, and is living in a boarding- house on the Parade at Weston-super-mare ; old Lord de Manton has gone up to London, where he thinks he can get a Chairmanship of a City Company for the sake of his name. II i6i THE LETTERS OF HER The De The Honourable Agatha has gone out to Mantons South Africa on a hospital ship, and her brother, the Honourable de Montgomery de Manton, whom, you remember, we met once on the Promenade at Cannes, and I would n't let you bow to him because he was walking with such an impossible woman, has joined the Imperial Yeomanry as a trooper. The family seems quite broken up ; it is rather a pity, as they had been at Shotover since the Conquest. Mrs. Blaine says it is all due to Kaffirs ; that Lord de Manton would set up as a stockbroker, and you know what a mess he got the lunatic asylum accounts into the year he was treasurer. But, as Mrs. Blaine says, he will probably be back at Shotover within a year, for he is just the sort of man they like to get on directorates in London, and that is such a paying profession now-a-days. He told Lady Beatrice that if worse became worst with him he knew the Colonial Office would give him an island to govern. He did n't seem very depressed when he left, but Lady de Manton was completely bouleversee. Tom told me that she had written to his 162 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH mother to say that Weston-super-mare was The intolerable ; they gave her Brussels sprouts Vane- and boiled beef six days running ; she '^^ ^' wanted Lady Beatrice to help her get the post of stewardess on one of the new West Indian line steamers to Jamaica ; she makes a point of the fact that she was never sick when crossing the Channel. She seems willing to do anything till poor Lord de Manton " arrives." How I digress ! I started to tell you of the Vane-Corduroys, and I shunted off to the De Mantons ; you will think me as garrulous as an old maid. I don't know how the Vane-Corduroys got their money, but I think it was out of " Sparklets," though Tom says he is sure he has seen " Corduroy's Lung Tonic " on the signboards at the Underground stations. Lady Beatrice, who takes up every new per- son out of sheer curiosity, called, and of course everybody else had to. But Lady Beatrice, who always has a reason for every- thing she does, said that she did it for Lady de Manton's sake, who had told her that if the Vane-Corduroys were properly range^ it 163 THE LETTERS OF HER The would help Lord de Manton in the City. Vane- Mr. Vane-Corduroy is the very type of a Cordu- company-promoter ; you know what I mean ^oy^ — they are always paunchy, and wear frock- coats, and top-hats, and have a President-of- a-Republic air. Mrs. Vane-Corduroy has dyed hair, the colour of tawny port, and she dresses like the ready-made models at Peter Robinson's. She looks exactly like a doll, and all the time I was talking to her, I felt that if I pinched her waist, she would say " Made in England." I am sure you wind her up with a key. They have completely changed the drawing-room at Shotover — you remember what a splendid air there was about it, with the old, worm-eaten Flemish tapestry, and the oak panelling — well, they have had the upholsterers down from Maple's, and it is now spick-and-span Louis Quinze ; there are foot-stools in front of all the chairs, and the De Manton ancestors have all got new gilt frames. They have two children, a boy and a girl. The girl is about twelve, and has a French governess, a strange-looking woman, something like Louise Michel, with a moustache. Mrs. 164 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH Vane-Corduroy told me she had the highest The references, and that she had come to them Vane- from a Russian Grand-Duke's family. The ^^' ^' boy is at iLton. I asked them how they thought they would like Somersetshire. Mrs. Vane- Corduroy said she missed town — there was no Church Parade, no Prince's, no Bond Street, and no dear little Dog Cemetery, like the one in the Park. She thought the latter was such a peaceful spot, and she felt quite happy to think that Fido would rest there till the Resurrection, under his little Carrara marble cross. It was evidently a very depressing subject, and Mr. Vane- Corduroy hastened to change it by saying that his wife found the country a bit lonely just at first, but people had been very kind in calling on them, and that he was sure they would like it immensely, as he intended to fill the house with people from town, and that they should always spend the season at their house in Grosvenor Square, and part of the winter at Nice ; and when they were not visiting, they would either be yachting, or at their shooting-box in the highlands. 165 THE LETTERS OF HER A In fact, he gave me to understand that they Eulogy would probably never be more than a couple of months in the year at Shotover. They have taken seats at Father RIbblt's, and they have subscribed most liberally to all the local charities. I must say I think it rather an imposition, for they had n't been in the county a week, before they were inundated with appeals for money ; but, as Lady Beatrice says, that if such people will mix in our set, they must pay for it, and be- sides, their names and the sums they give are published in the Taunton papers, so that it is not as if they were not getting any return for their money. I suppose it does pay in the end, for the Rector of St. William's preached a regular eulogy on Mr. Parker last Sunday, who is restoring the whole church, for he found some old dilapidated tablets in it with " Parker " on them, and he is sure they are his ancestors. He had a letter of thanks from the Bishop about it, and the 'Times devoted a column to it ; said it was such things that drew America and England to- gether, and that Mr. Parker's love of archi- i66 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH tecture was only equalled by his knowledge A of it, and that St. William's restored would ^^'^^sy be an everlasting monument, in Early English Gothic, to his memory. And I don't believe Mr. Parker knows a gargoyle from a reredos. I must stop now, darling, for Mrs. Chevington has just called, and I must go down and see her. I shall expect to hear from you to-morrow. — Your dearest Mamma. 167 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XXIV Monk's Folly, 4th November Darling Elizabeth : A Fright- QjUCH a frightful thing happened yester- ful Thing ^ ^^^^ 'j^l-^g Vane-Corduroys came to return my call in their motor-car, and it blew up at the front door. One of the wheels fell into the conservatory, and the groom was picked up insensible on the lawn. He had to be brought into the house, where he has been ever since, and is likely to be for some days, for Dr. Smart says if he is moved in his present state he will die. Fortunately for the Vane-Corduroys they had just entered the house, or they might have been killed. You never heard such a noise ; it sounded like a cannonade, and Perkins says it will cost me at least one hundred pounds to repair the damage. The Vane-Corduroys apologised profusely, and looked as if they wished they had been blown up along with the groom to hide their con- fusion. Perkins and the gardener have 16S MOTHER TO ELIZABETH been picking up bits of motor-car all over Rehearsal the grounds to-day. I had to send the ^ '^'^^' Vane-Corduroys back to Shotover in the ^^^^^ victoria. We had a rehearsal of the tableaux at Braxome in the evening. Lady Beatrice looked absurd as Britannia ; she posed her- self after the tail of a penny ; Mr. Parker as Uncle Sam, and Mr. Vane-Corduroy as John Bull, shaking hands, were quite good, but Mr. Frame, who was working the red, white, and blue light, set fire to himself, and might have been burned to death, but for his presence of mind. He put himself out by wrapping himself in Lady Beatrice's Gobelin tapestry, which she had specially made in Paris last year. You should have seen Lady Beatrice's face, and she called him " Frame," as she always does when she is angry with him, and she told him he might have waited till they brought some water to throw over him. Mrs. Vane-Corduroy, as Lady Macbeth going to murder Duncan, would have been effective, if she had n't laughed in the middle of it. Everybody said that Tom and I in " The Black Bruns- 169 THE LETTERS OF HER An Ex- wicker's Farewell " were the best, but Tom ceUe7it squeezed me so, I could hardly breathe, '"^ and when the curtain dropped he said we must do it over again for an encore. We think the tableaux will be a great suc- cess, for all the tickets on sale at Mr. Dill's, the chemist, have been sold, and he wrote to ask Lady Beatrice if he could have some more printed. Mrs. Parker told Lady Beatrice it was awfully good of her to give her drawing-room over to the " peasantry," as she calls the Taunton people. To-day the Vane-Corduroys had a lunch- party. They have an excellent chef. Mr. Vane-Corduroy said he was five years with the Duchess of Rougemont, and only left because the Duchess refused to pay for the tuning of his piano. 1 think the Vane- Corduroys are afraid of him. Therese tells me that he has a room fitted up as a studio at Shotover, and that he exhibits every year at the Salon, and only cooks from the love of it. He has his meals in his own apart- ments. Mrs. Vane-Corduroy showed me several photographs of Fido, and one of his grave in the Dog Cemetery; he was run over 170 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH by a 'bus in the Bayswater road ; and Mrs. Two Vane-Corduroy shed tears when she told me ^"^^^^'-^ of it, and she said she went into mourning for him for three months, and a Royal Academician is at present at work on his portrait from one of the photographs. She intends to have it hung in the Academy next year, and when I suggested that sometimes the best pictures of the best artists were re- jected, she said that Mr. Vane-Corduroy had seen about it already, for he had put the Duke of Rougemont on to something good in the City, and the Duke had promised that he would see the picture was hung, and not skied either. Two women are visiting at Shotover, friends of Mrs. Vane-Corduroy. They look as if they were made at Marshall & Snel- grove ; they wore pearl necklaces over their tailor-made walking suits, and long gold chains with uncut sapphires, and their fingers are covered in rings. I forget what Mrs. Vane-Corduroy called them, but she said they were old friends of hers, and such clever girls. It seems they were left rather poorly off, and to gain a living began by giv- 171 THE LETTERS OF HER Two ing dancing lessons to some people in Maida Visitors Vale. They succeeded so well that they now have an " Academy " in Mayfair, and go about the country as well, giving private instruction ; their brother had a gymnasium in Brighton, but got the war fever at Lady- smith time, and went out to the front in Paget's Horse, and the sisters are now run- ning the gymnasium — a School for Physical Culture, Mrs. Vane-Corduroy called it. She says that is why they know so many people we do, Elizabeth, for they spoke of Lord Valmond, and Mr. Wertz, and the Smiths, and the Duke of Clandevil, as if they were on quite intimate terms with them. I have no doubt it is very creditable of them to earn their living, but it seems strange to meet them in Society. Really everything is changing now-a-days. I am thinking of telling Lady Beatrice and suggesting to her that they should do Indian clubs or cannon balls after the tableaux, and it would be quite easy to get out a man from Taunton to put up a trapeze in the drawing-room at Braxome. — With love from your dearest Mamma. 172 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XXV Monk's Folly, 6th November Darling Elizabeth : THE tableaux were a great success, and The Lady Beatrice gave the Taunton Tableaux people sandwiches and ginger-beer afterwards in the dining-room. Only one of her Sevres dishes was broken, and Mr. Frame dropped a Bohemian goblet that was made in 1530, and had belonged to Wallenstein. He was so frightened that he did n't dare tell Lady Beatrice, and she believes one of the foot- men did it. We had a champagne supper when every- body had gone ; it was awfully good, and the Vane-Corduroys' chef did the devilled oysters a la reine de Serbie. Mr. Sweetson has gone back to London, so fortunately I didn't have my appetite taken away. He is giving a big dinner at the Carlton to the Copper Trust Directors in honour of a coup he made on the Stock Exchange by wire. I don't exactly understand what it is, but I ^73 THE LETTERS OF HER The believe he bought all the copper in the world, Baron g^j-j^^ ^^^^ ^^ value of the common or garden penny will go up. Mrs. Dot came, and after what happened the other night at Astley, I was particularly civil to her. She was quite good-natured, and took the olive branch. She asked me if I could recommend a den- tist in Taunton ; it seems that when she goes to bed she always puts her false teeth in a glass of water, and one of the maids threw them away in the slops by mistake. Fortunately she keeps two sets, upper and lower, but the spare plate was made in a great hurry and bruises her gums. I told her Fellowes in Taunton advertised to make a set while you wait, but I did n't know how long he made you wait, and she is going to him to-day. She told me a story about a Baron Finck von Finckelstein whom she met in America, quite by chance, in a restau- rant where he was a waiter. The Baron has a ruin on the Rhine, and the family had become so impoverished that he decided to go to America, where he landed literally in his shirt-sleeves, and on account of his ele- gant manners, Mrs. Dot said, he of course 174 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH got a situation as waiter in a restaurant ; and The the proprietor made an awfully good thing ^^^on out of him, for he got one of the New York Sunday papers to devote a column to the Baron and the restaurant. It was a capital advertisement ; the article was illustrated, and there were cuts of Schloss Finckelstein, the ruin on the Rhine, of the Baron as he landed in New York, of the Baron waiting in the restaurant, and of the proprietor. Mrs. Dot said that there was such a rush for tables that one had to go awfully early to get one, and that the Baron must have made quite a good thing out of it, for nobody would have dared give him less than a dollar tip. As the Baron could n't wait on everybody, the proprietor had edition de luxe menus printed with the Finckelstein twenty-four quarterings on them which you could take away as souvenirs. And Tom Carterville, who was sitting next to me, said he knew the De Mantons had made a mistake in not going to America. Mrs. Dot quite jumped at the idea ; she knew the family would do well, and that they would very likely get an engagement all together to travel about the country with Barnum's. She was 175 THE LETTERS OF HER A Sub- sure that a whole family of Norman Conquest scription aristocrats would draw just like the Baby Ball Venus or the Missing Link. Tom looked sheepish, and 1 believe Mrs. Dot is not as simple as she seems, and was getting at him. There is a subscription ball at the Car- terville Arms in Taunton to-night. The tickets are four shillings. Lady Beatrice is the patroness, and the money will be given to the Soldiers' Widows* and Orphans' Fund. Of course everybody will go, and Paquin sent me such a dream of a frock this morning. I wish you could meet me in town next week for the Clandevil-Parker wedding, but of course if Lord Valmond is in your neighbourhood it would be folly for you to leave. I have written to Octa- via to bring him to the scratch. She is so clever and such a dear, and knows how to help you just as if I myself were with you. I am expecting daily to hear you have caught him. Best of luck from — Your dearest Mamma. P.S. 6.30 P.M. — Mrs. Chevington came to tea this afternoon and brought the news 176 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH that Mr. Vane-Corduroy was rabbit shooting An this morning and blew off two of his fingers. Accident It seems his man gave him ball cartridge by mistake, and the bullet hit Lady Beatrice's horse as she was driving past the field in which Mr. Vane-Corduroy was shooting at the time of the accident. Poor Lady Bea- trice was frightened out of her wits, and Mr. Vane-Corduroy, who saw her passing and heard her scream, thought he had killed her. Mrs. Chevington says she thinks the Vane-Corduroys were more wor- ried over killing Lady Beatrice's horse than over Mr. Vane-Corduroy's missing fingers. Mrs. Vane-Corduroy at once despatched a note to Braxome, full of the profoundest apologies, and saying they had taken the liberty of wiring instantly to Tattersall's to send down a horse to replace the one Mr. Vane-Corduroy was so unfortunate as to kill. Mrs. Chevington was at Braxome when the letter arrived. She says Tom told his mother that she should accept the new horse, as it would be undoubtedly su- perior to the old crock that jogged her about the country, and he thought that 12 177 THE LETTERS OF HER TheBall before Cockney millionaires turned country gentlemen they ought to take lessons at a shooting gallery. P. S. S. 2.30 A.M. — I have just got home from the ball at the Carterville Arms, and as I find your letter has not been posted, and I am not very sleepy, I will add a postscript to it before going to sleep. The ball was a financial success, and the Mayor told Lady Beatrice her patronage was invaluable. He took her in to supper, and in his speech he spoke of nothing but her ladyship's virtues. As Tom said, he made you feel that the ball had been given expressly for her benefit, and not at all for the Soldiers' Widows and Orphans. Of course, the Vane-Corduroys were not present, and there was an alarming rumour at one time that Mr. Vane-Corduroy was bleeding to death. Everybody came up to Lady Beatrice, and congratulated her on her narrow escape. In fact, at supper the Mayor quite drew tears to the Taunton people's eyes when he referred to it. Lady Beatrice tried to look unconcerned, as if she 178 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH deprecated the Mayor's fine compliments, The Ball but when in a faltering voice he declared how the whole countryside would miss "good, honest, steady old Jock, who had for so many years drawn her ladyship about on her errands of mercy," Lady Beatrice burst into tears, and the Mayor became so affected at the havoc he had wrought, that he wished " the bullet of the London mushroom " (poor Mr. Vane-Corduroy bleeding to death at Shotover !) had lodged in his own magisterial breast. Mr. Parker whispered to me that the Veuve Clicquot was sweeter than usual. There was a dais at one end of the ball- room, and here Lady Beatrice received the " canile " as Mr. Parker expressed it. She wore purple velvet and amethysts, and looked perfectly monstrous, and the room was so hot that beads of perspiration formed on her temples, and made little lanes in the rouge on her cheeks. Nevertheless, in spite of her appearance. Lady Beatrice can be quite grande dame when she wishes, and she did the honours of the evening in the most dignified way. And I suppose if you are a 179 THE LETTERS OF HER Tom duke's daughter, and have such a place as Proposes Braxome Towers and twenty thousand a year, you can afford to look like a scarecrow. The floors were awfully good, and all my partners danced well. But, would you be- lieve it, that silly boy, Tom Carterville, actually proposed to me, and was quite serious about it too ! We were sitting in a sort of ante-room by ourselves, and Tom, who is anything but shy, suddenly became as awkward and bashful as a school-girl, and blurted out how madly he loved me, and had ever since he saw me at Braxome the day he got back from South Africa. He looked just like his mother, and I could hardly keep from laughing, and tried to turn all he said into a joke. Then he got quite hot and perspiry and breathed hard, and he begged me to accept him ; he had never loved any one as he did me, and he did n't ever think of or mind the difference in our ages. He acted just like they do in Miss Braddon, and accused me of having given him every encouragement, and won- dered how God could make a woman so fair and so false. He took me by the hands I So MOTHER TO ELIZABETH and looked into my eyes, then dropped them Tom and groaned, and wished they 'd sent him to Proposes the Front in South Africa. I knew he meant all he said too, because he was so earnest, and I could have half pitied him if he had n't looked so much like Lady Beatrice. He made me feel so uncomfort- able, for I thought someone would come into the room every minute, and I begged him to take me back to the ball-room and not be a silly boy. He laughed such a queer laugh ; it had a sort of sob in it, and he said quite fiercely that I did n't know how I had wounded him, but that he loved me all the same, and that if he remained in Somersetshire and was near me all the time, the wound would never heal ; and he in- tends to go out to South Africa at once, and is going up to London to-morrow, for he wanted plenty of action and excitement and danger to help him pull himself together again. I begged him on no account, if he loved me, to tell his mother, for she would never speak to me again. He said, did I really have such a poor opinion of him, and it hurt i8i THE LETTERS OF HER Tom him cruelly, for he was a gentleman and a Rejected nian of honour. I told him he could kiss me just once, if he liked, for he was so very- much in earnest, and that we should part friends. But he would n't, for he said the memory of it would haunt him. When we got back to the ball-room people stared at us awfully hard, and I heard that odious Mrs. Fordythe tell someone," He is too good for that frivolous little Paquin doll." I am sure she meant me. |I do wish boys would n't fall in love with one, for they are so serious and earnest and masterful, and make one feel as if one had really done them an injury. I I whispered to Tom before he left me, right in the midst of a horrid lot of frumpy chaperones, that I hoped he would come back safe from South Africa, and he said I was rubbing it in, and he hoped the first bullet would strike home. I really thought someone would hear, he spoke so loud. And there is no telling, Elizabeth, if Tom had been older and not so much like his mother, I might have taken him, for Braxome and twenty thousand a year are not to be found at one's feet every day. But, 182 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH as it is, it is quite out of the question, Tom and I charge you not to mention a word of Rejected this to anyone, for it would be sure to get back here, and people say such nasty things. Good-night. — Your dearest Mamma. 183 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XXVI Monk's Folly, 8th November Typhoid Darling Elizabeth : ^'^''' l\/r^^' ^^^INE and six others of iV A Father Ribbit's flock are down with typhoid fever. Dr. Smart and the sanitary inspector have traced it to the Com- munion wine at St. Leo's. The London papers have got hold of the story, and yes- terday's Daily Sensation had an article on it headed "Bacteria in the Chalice," "Typhoid in a Cup of Holy Wine." Mr. Parker says it beats anything he ever read in an American paper, and thinks we have nothing more to learn in that line from Yankee journalism. Naturally it has been a nasty knock for the Ritualists, and will frighten people away from the sacrament at St. Leo's. Father Ribbit wrote to the Taunton papers to-day about it, and said that he will henceforth advocate the " separate vessel " system, which he under- stands is in vogue in America, and he is soliciting subscriptions for fifty chalices. 184 ' MOTHER TO ELIZABETH At Mr. Frame's, Lady Beatrice, to whom Typhoid the cup is ahvays passed first, set the fashion Fever of wiping the rim with her handlcerchief, which precaution has, till the present, been efficacious. The Chevingtons, the Blaines, and the best families who go to St. Leo's, are going to provide their own communion cups, but, as Mr. Parker said, it will be interesting to note the strength of Father Ribbit's head, for he has to drink all the wine that is left over that not a drop may be wasted, as of course it is sacred. Alto- gether, the typhoid at St. Leo's has opened some curious speculation, and has for the moment put all other topics out of con- sideration. Mr. Vane-Corduroy has been pronounced out of danger ; his mangled fingers have been successfully amputated. He will not be able to go up to town to-morrow to the wedding of Miss Parker, but the doctor says he must go to the Riviera for a change as soon as possible, as the shock to his system has been a great one. So after this week Shotover will be shut up. Tom Carterville left for London the day 185 THE LETTERS OF HER Tom after the ball, as he said, and Lady Beatrice Enlists v/as in consternation on getting a telegram from him saying he would sail for the Cape in the new draft of Yeomanry in a week's time. As I feel that I am in a measure responsible for the grief at Braxome and Tom's exile, I wrote him a nice little note to-day, and enclosed a bunch of forget-me- nots and my photo. I hardly see anything of Blanche now-a- days ; since she and Daisy have taken up theatricals so seriously they have no time for dropping in for tea as they used. Of course, now that Mrs. Blaine is ill, they will be busier than ever, though Mrs. Cheving- ton, who was here this morning, says that they are both still at work rehearsing the " Second Mrs. Tanqueray." Daisy's head seems quite turned by the praise she got in that non-professional drawing-room thing, " My Lord in Livery." She told Mrs. Chevington she always knew she had acting in her, and she wants to go up to London and go on the stage. But that is always the way with amateurs. They begin with one of these pieces peculiar to Church entertain- 186 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH ments that one never sees, save in country A Droll school-rooms, and they immediately after- ^'^'^/^'^'''^ wards try Sheridan or Pinero. One hardly ^^^^^ knows which is duller to watch. And talking of plays reminds me that I was particularly asked by Lady Beatrice to go to the Taunton Orphan Asylum this afternoon and see the children do " The Merchant of Venice." It was the drollest performance I ever remember attending. When I got there I found two long files, one of boys, the other of girls, waiting in a corridor outside of the hall. A caretaker, with a nose like Job Trotter's, was keeping the " sexes separated," and the children, who were anywhere from five years of age up to ten, were jabbering like a lot of rooks. I instinctively wondered what would happen if Mr. Trotter's authority was withdrawn for a few minutes. While I waited for the door of the hall to be opened. Lady Beatrice and the matron arrived, and Lady Beatrice, who wore a sort of short bicycle skirt, and a felt hat with a pheasant's feather in it, and looked as if she ought to have carried a bunch of edel- weiss and an alpenstock with a chamois- 187 THE LETTERS OF HER A Droll horn handle, exclaimed, in her voice which Perform. \^ always down in her boots : — a7ice « ^^ j^y Y\\.\\^ dears ! Each good little boy and girl is going to be given an apple and a bun, and each bad little boy and girl will get a slice of bread without any butter. Now I hope you will all be good little boys and girls." " Yes, please, ladyship," they all piped in unison, and the matron let us all into the hall. I don't know whether it was droller to watch the brats murder Shakespeare, or the marked interest taken in the performance by Lady Beatrice, the matron, and some of the patronesses. Shylock was too absurd ; he was about ten and wore a funny little goatee. He nor any of the others understood a word of what they were saying ; they had learnt it by heart like the alphabet, and recited it in shrill sing-song. When Master Shylock called for the scales, they brought him a pair such as you see in doll's houses, and when he sharpened his little knife. Lady Beatrice's "little dears" stood up in their seats with excitement and squeaked like a lot of guinea- 188 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH pigs. But even more comical than the chil- A Broil dren mouthing Shakespeare was the fact of Perform. the stage-manager of a London theatre, that ^'^^^ Lady Beatrice has had down once a week for the last two months to coach the little actors, coming before the curtain and making a speech, in which he told a lie that was so big I should have thought he would have been afraid he would be struck down like Ananias. He had the cheek to tell us that the Shylock with the goatee and the doll's scales was an undeveloped Roscius — and Lady Beatrice and the matron be- lieved him. The matron told me that Shakespeare was such a refining influence and that the chil- dren were so much improved by his plays, and she was quite horrified when I replied I thought a pantomime would do them more good. After the performance the " little dears " sat down at long tables and devoured apples and buns, and squeaked like guinea- pigs. Lady Beatrice said it was a huge success, and that they would try, " As You Like It," next year. When Mr. Parker said that 189 THE LETTERS OF HER A Droll Britons as a race had no sense of humour Perform. Lady Beatrice should have told him to go with me to see her " little dears " interpret Shakespeare. I am sure he would have changed his mind. — Your dearest Mamma, ance 190 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH LETTER XXVII Monk's Folly, nth November Darling Elizabeth : AM so glad to hear Valmond has turned Tlie up at Chevenix Castle. You have it Doraines all your own way now. I hear it was the Doraines who gave the Vane-Corduroys their first start last year. It seems the Doraines were in awfully low water and at their wit's ends what to do. Mrs. Chevington says they had almost decided to go to Boulogne when Lord Doraine met Sir Denis O'Des- mond and advised them to go to Bayswater, for he said that three months there had pulled him straight. It seems you take a house in a terrace, go to the nearest chur jh, and buy groceries and meat in the neigh- bourhood, and everybody calls. That 's the way the Doraines found the Vane-Corduroys. Mrs. Vane-Corduroy was presented by Lady Doraine ; it cost an enormous sum, and Lord Doraine told Algy Chevington he was mak- ing quite a tidy income in Bayswater terraces. 191 THE LETTERS OF HER Society I should think Lord de Manton might fol- Beauhes Jqw his example, but I suppose he is too old for Society. Lady de Manton has gone up to London to him. She is not going as stewardess to Jamaica : Lord de Manton has got " put on " to something, it 's to do with a Government Contract; and is very secret and mysterious. They have taken a maisonette in Chelsea, and I am so glad for poor Lady de Manton, for they treated her quite like one of themselves at her boarding- house at Weston-super-mare. Your account of the ball was amusing; Octavia looked after you, as I knew she would, and managed to play Valmond very cleverly for you. She wrote me herself to say he was so firmly hooked that he would be landed now without any difficulty. I can't help smiling at your being surprised to find that the Society beauties that the papers rave about are quite^ quite old, and not really beautiful at all. Did you think that " age could not wither them, nor custom stale their infinite variety " ? Nor was I at all surprised to hear that they flirted with boys ; they always do at their age ; it 's their chief 192 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH amusement to pick out the nicest and hand- Boys in somest boys and make men of the world of Society them. Dolly Tenderdown may only look fifteen and behave " grown-up," but, de- pend on it, he knows as much of life as Lord Valmond. Those pretty youngsters have a very quick intelligence, and between the mess-room and the ball-room there is not much that they have not learnt. Im- maculate to look at, my experience of them is that they are anything but clean. Tom Carterville belonged to another genus. The Dolly Tenderdown kind only grows when you fertilise the soil, but your Tom Carter- villes grow wild in any soil and in all seasons. I wish boys could be kept out of Society till they are really grown-up, they are such a nuisance. They never know how to pre- serve their equilibrium, for they are either intense, and make martyrs of themselves like Stefano and Tom, or horrid, fast, im- pertinent creatures like Dolly. And there are so many boys in Society now-a-days. The whole Parker family are at Claridge's, and the Pullman is to take the Taunton 13 193 THE LETTERS OF HER Hospital guests up to town to-morrow. I shall stop Nurses at the Carlton, and remain in London for a few nights, and it is so much gayer there than at the Buckingham Palace dependances. It is an awful time of the year for a wedding, but I suppose Miss Parker thinks that if she postpones it, Clandevil may find another bride still richer than herself. Lady Beatrice is not going; she says nothing but family business would take her to town in Novem- ber. I think the Parkers feel hurt about it, because Lady Beatrice would give a sort of backbone to the marriage feast that nobody else would. Mrs. Blaine has been pronounced out of danger, but the girls have had to give up the " Second Mrs. Tanqueray." The hos- pital nurse from Bath has been so much trouble that they have had to send her back, and Daisy is nursing her mother. It seems the nurse was very pretty, and Berty, who has never been known to speak to a girl, was found in the dining-room with her at midnight with champagne and biscuits. Blanche said, not between them, for they were sitting so close together there was n't 194 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH any room, but in front of them. And y^oox Hospital Mrs. Blaine at 105°, and no nourishment ^^''■^'^•^ had passed her Hps for hours. Blanche will go up to the wedding with me. Talking of hospital nurses, it seems the Vane-Corduroys had trouble with theirs too. She was n't pretty and flirtatious, but middle- aged and " bossy," really to my mind more objectionable than the Blaines'. She had not been at Shotover an hour before she took the measure of the household ; the doctor said Mr. Vane-Corduroy must be kept quiet, and the nurse refused to allow even his wife to see him. He was kept as isolated as if he had had the plague, and to amuse him nurse read "Paradise Lost" aloud to him. She terrorised Mrs. Vane- Corduroy, who fairly quaked in her pres- ence ; she kept the servants constantly doing things for her, had her meals served her whenever she fancied them, had the grooms riding into Taunton at all hours of the day and night, and made her power felt thoroughly, besides being paid I don't know how many guineas a day, and if everything was not done just as she wished it and at 195 THE LETTERS OF HER Hospital once, she threatened that Mr. Vane-Cordu- Nurses roy would die as a consequence. Her cre- dentials were so good that even the doctor was afraid of her, but on the second day she fell foul of the chef. His suite of rooms was next to hers, and he was composing a menu at the piano, which, as it was after mid- night, disturbed nurse a good deal. She complained to Mrs. Vane-Corduroy the next day, and poor Mrs. Vane-Corduroy, who is terribly afraid of her chef, was driven nearly distracted ; nurse even sought out the chef himself and ordered him to obey her, and his reply was a gesture more rude than effec- tive, and even went so far as to threaten her if she interfered with his province. That night for dinner there was something with a delicious port-wine sauce, and nurse, who never touches spirits in any shape, did n't know what she was eating, it was so disguised. It upset her equilibrium completely, first, by making her very merry and then by making her horribly sick. She was so firmly con- vinced that the chef had made an attempt to poison her that she went off the first thing the next day in high dudgeon, to 196 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH the inexpressible relief of everybody at Hospital Shotover. Nurses I have a love of a frock and hat for the wedding. I will write you next from London and let you know how the wedding went off. — Your dearest Mamma. 197 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XXVIII The Carlton Hotel, Midnight, 13th November Darling Elizabeth : The ^ I ^HE Clandevil-Parker noces took place Wedding _L to-day with great ostentation, as you may imagine. You will read the report of it to-morrow in the Morning Post^ but I shall probably be able to give you a more graphic account of it. The ceremony was performed by the Bishop of St. Esau at twelve o'clock, at St. George's, Hanover Square, assisted by other prelates of more or less note in the ecclesiastical world. There was a thick yel- low fog that made several people arrive at the church after everything was over, and pre- vented the crowd from congregating as it would otherwise have done. Blanche and 1 had excellent seats, as we arrived early ; the bride was late owing to the fog, and Clan- devil looked awfully bored. Following the American custom, there had been a full- dress rehearsal of the ceremony the day 198 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH before, and the first five rows of pews had Wedding been taken out, and the altar banked with Presents plants. The bridesmaids were all earls' daughters, and the best man was that noto- rious rake, the Honourable Ralph Swift ; everyone was remarking at his cleverness in keeping out of jail. You will read all about the costumes in the Post ; the bride looked well ; the lace on her dress belonged to Marie Antoinette, and the dress itself was an exact duplication of that worn by the Queen of Holland at her Coronation, saving of course the royal mantle. Breakfast was served afterwards at the Dowager Duchess of Clandevil's in Eton Place, where the wed- ding presents were on show ! Their value, apart from Mr. Parker's settlement on the bride, of a square mile of New York with a rental of two million dollars annually, is es- timated at five hundred thousand dollars, the more costly gifts coming from across the Atlantic. Mrs. Parker gave her daughter a Holbein ; Clandevil gave his bride a tiara of emeralds ; the Dowager Duchess gave a hot- water bottle ; Royalty sent the bride a lace handkerchief, and the bridegroom a horse- 199 THE LETTERS OF HER Wedding shoe scarf pin set with brilliants ; the Hon. Presents Ralph Swift gave a solid silver napkin ring ; Mr. Sweetson gave a necklace of diamonds as big as walnuts ; Mrs. Dot gave a dessert set of Sevres specially made with the Clan- devil arms on it. The Marchioness of Tuke, Clandevil's only sister, gave a solid silver inkstand, and Lady Doreen Fitz Mor- timer and the Countess of Warbeck gave a bog-oak blotting-pad, with a tortoise-shell paper knife ; the tenants at Clandevil gave a gold loving-cup, and the servants an oak chest of damask sheets ; the clerks in Mr. Parker's office in New York sent five pieces of twelfth century tapestry, and from various people in America there came many mag- nificent things. But Mr. Parker, Junior, the brother, who is in Chicago, made a panic on the Stock Exchange, and sent his profits ; the cheque was put to the new Duchess's account at Coutts'. The happy pair left for Clandevil Castle, Tipperary, where the honeymoon will be spent. The Duchess will be presented on her marriage at the first drawing-room. Mr. Parker seemed delighted, and talked 200 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH a good deal after the breakfast of " my son The the Duke ; " Mrs. Parker seemed depressed, ^Veddinj and when she kissed her daughter good-bye, said, " My child, I hope you will be happy." Mr. Sweetson talked to me for some time on triumphant democracy, and the effete monarchies of the old world, his favourite subjects. He said it was cheaper to buy dukes in America than in England, but ad- mitted the price fluctuated, and depended entirely on supply, which not infrequently ran short of the demand. The atmosphere of wealth was overpowering; Blanche said she felt as if she were trampling on dia- monds. Everybody thinks it will be a most happy match, for there is no pretence at love on either side, and each has got what each most desired. Flaxie Frizzle, the skirt- dancer, and her two children came to the church : everybody remarked how much the boy looked like his father. I should have mentioned that the food and drink were beyond cavil. Mr. Parker told me he always got his " fizz " from the Russian Court, as the best brands were sent there from France. I cannot think of any 20I THE LETTERS OF HER The more to tell you of the wedding ; the crowd Wedding and the confusion were so great, I found it difficult to take in all that happened. Blanche and I returned to the Carlton at three o'clock, and went straight to bed to sleep off the effects. When we went to dinner at eight, we saw the Vicomte de Narjac at one of the tables ; we had a long chat with him afterwards. He came over to London to purchase an English automobile, and returns to Paris in a couple of days. We told him of the grand wedding we had been to, and he said he had seen a beauti- fully dressed woman helped out of a hansom, and carried upstairs unconscious, and when he enquired what had happened, the porter had told him in French that she was one of the invitees aux epousailles de M. le due de Clandevil avec line des 'plus grandes heritieres du Nouveau Monde. Blanche and I set Therese to find out who it could have been, and she says it was the Marchioness of Portcullis ; we noticed at the breakfast that she and Mr. Sweetson were drinking neat brandy, and wondered at the time what would be the result. The Vicomte was 202 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH stupefied ; he thought she was a demi- The mondaine. Lucerne Set We asked the Vicomte all about the Lucerne set. He says Mr. Wertzelmann has been transferred to St. Petersburg, and that Madame Colorado has gone to spend the winter at the American Embassy ; she was such a dear friend of Mrs. Wertzel- mann's. The De Pivarts are in Paris ; the Marquis has a. proces running in the Courts against the Swiss Government, and hopes he will make enough out of it to start a stud in the spring. It seems the Marquise was arrested on a steamboat on Lake Geneva, being mistaken for Mrs. Phineas Porter, the beautiful American, whose hus- band shot Monsieur Dupont in the Hotel Beau Rivage. And the New York Paris Herald has been full of it. Mrs. Phineas Porter lives in Paris, and Mr. Phineas Porter in Chicago ; he comes over every year, and, on this occasion, said good-bye to his wife and left for Havre, but returned secretly, and found Mrs. Porter had disappeared. He traced her and Dupont, who is a prominent member of the Jockey Club, to Geneva. 203 THE LETTERS OF HER Mrs. He arrived late at night, knocked on his Porter wife's door at the Beau Rivage, who thought he was the chamber-maid, and forced him- self in. Mrs. Porter shrieked, and Dupont, who had retired for the night, jumped out of bed, and was chased by Mr. Porter with a loaded revolver through the whole suite of apartments into the last room, and Du- pont, caught in a cul de sac as it were, hid behind an arm-chair, where Mr. Porter killed him. As you may imagine, the affair created a scandal, for the people are so well known in Society. Mr. Porter was arrested by the police, and is now on trial. In the confusion Mrs. Porter disappeared, and has up to the present baffled all attempts to find her. The Marquise de Pivart is said to be the image of her, and, as she was embarking about a week after the affair on a steamboat, to spend the day at Chillon, she was arrested by the stupid Swiss police. The Vicomte says the Swiss authorities apologised most humbly when they discovered their mistake, but both the Marquis and the Marquise would not be satisfied with anything less than heavy damages. The proces has added 204 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH to the Porter-Dupont esclandre^ and the A Roman reputation of the Marquise has been torn Prince to shreds. The Vicomte says it is very amusing to read the accounts in the Paris Herald^ and everybody says the Marquis could get a divorce as well as the Mar- quise, but they swore the deepest affection for one another in the courts, and will swear anything for the chance of touching the pockets of the Swiss Government. They are always seen together just like the ouvriers on Sundays at Nogent-sur-Marne. The Vicomte added that the sacrifices they were making of their private feelings were well worth one hundred thousand francs, the sum they claim as damages. Old Mrs. Johnson has found a Roman Prince in the place of Count Albert for Rosalie Isaacs. The Vicomte says he is all that can be desired. He has a palazzo like a fortress at Rome, with a priceless collec- tion of Greek marbles which he can't sell, and was so poor that he spent one winter on the Via Corniche, with a monkey and an organ that he borrowed from his former steward, who had just returned from tramp- 205 THE LETTERS OF HER Elasticity ing in America with enough to start himself of Con- in a small business. But the Prince is not science bogus ; he has the right to stand in the presence of the King of Italy, and best of all he is a Bourbon sur la cote gauche. The Vicomte thinks he cost infinitely less than Clandevil cost the Parkers, and Rosalie's wedding this winter in Rome will be much more magnificent, for the Pope will marry her, and the Royal Family will be present. Mrs. Johnson must be tres Jiere of her suc- cess. But, as Blanche remarked, the extra- ordinary part of these American marriages is the elasticity of the religious conscience. The Parkers are Baptists, yet Mr. Parker has been restoring Gothic churches, and Miss Parker, who has been " dipped," was married by the Bishop of St. Esau. And Mrs. Johnson, who told me in Lucerne that she belonged to the Plymouth Brethren, after marrying her daughter to a Jew and her granddaughter to a Roman Catholic, will actually receive the Papal benediction ! But of course, as I told Blanche, one must be a la mode, and that I asked the Bishop of St. Esau at the wedding if he would not 206 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH put in a prayer for Paquin in the Litany A Prayer after " and all the nobility." M Well, my darling, I must say good-night ; -^^^"^^ it is frightfully late, and the champagne that came from the Russian Court that 1 had this morning, has given me just a wee bit of a migraine. — Your dearest Mamma. 207 THE LETTERS OF HER LETTER XXIX Darling Elizabeth The Carlton Hotel 15th November A Rainy X/'ESTERDAY it rained as it only can ^•^ JL rain in London in November, and when it stopped for a few minutes there was such a nasty fog. We had breakfast in bed, and did n't get up till quite twelve ; it was such a miserable day we did n't know what to do with ourselves, so we went down- stairs and sat in that jolly place with the glass roof and the palms, and there was quite a good band playing. There were very few people there, as it is n't the season, but about one o'clock a great many people began to come for lunch. Most of the men looked like Jews, and they all wore gold rings with crests on their little fingers. I am sure they were company-promoters, for presently Lord de Manton arrived with poor, tottering Lord Ardath, and joined some of the Israelite people, and they all 208 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH went in to lunch together. Little Dolly A^Lunck Daydreams of the Tivoli drove up in a hansom with that young simpleton, Percy Felton, of the Scots Greys. We could see them through the glass doors as they got out of the cab ; she lifted her skirt up to her knee to keep it out of the wet, and he kissed her on the ear right in front of the porter. Lady Ann Fairfax, the war-special, had lunch with six khaki men, and they made such a noise at their table we could hear them laughing where we were. Medina, Viscountess Frogmore, and Mrs. Beverley Fruit came together and sat down near us for a few minutes when they were joined by the Bishop of St. Esau and the three had lunch together. The Viscountess was in deep mourning, her crape veil trailed on the ground behind her, and she looked very melancholy ; you know her son fell at Magersfontein. A smart-looking curate, evidently late, rushed up after they sat down. Blanche says she thinks he is a protege of the Bishop's, he paid the greatest deference to both the Bishop and Lady Frogmore after lunch when they were hav- 14 209 THE LETTERS OF HER A Con. ing coffee outside in the glass place where versation the band is. I am sure we shall hear of him one of these davs. A lank man, with long hair and a flabby face, and a woman who looked the wife of the editor of a newspaper, took the seats next us vacated by Lady Frogmore and Mrs. Fruit. The man criticised Mrs. Fruit's books ; Blanche whispered to me that she thought he must be an unsuccessful author, for he had n't a good word to say for either Mrs. Fruit or her works. The conversation turned on to "An English- woman's Love Letters." The woman said she was dying to know who wrote them ; the man became quite mysterious, with a could-if-I-would air. She playfully tapped him on the arm with the handle of her umbrella, and guessed he was the author. He looked very self-satisfied, and admitted he knew who the author was, but was bound by frightful oaths never to divulge the secret. But the woman would n't iDelieve him; she declared if he had n't written the book, he did n't know who did, for she was constantly hearing people say they knew the 2IO MOTHER TO ELIZABETH author and the reason he did not wish his A Con- identity disclosed. versation Then the conversation drifted on to Exeter Hall, and Labouchere and Stead and the Society notes in the Daily Sensation^ and the War in South Africa, and the man talked of some poems he had written, and what the critics had said of them, and the woman lis- tened. When he had exhausted himself, the woman began. She talked of high life just like a pocket peerage ; she told anecdotes of Royalty, which she said were perfectly true ; she knew what peers gambled, who married actresses, who were divorced, who had a menage in St. John's Wood, and she knew what peeresses dyed their hair, and where they did it, and what they said and what they thought. She even mentioned Lady Beatrice's name, and said that it was rumoured Tom Carterville had gone back to South Africa, because he was displeased that his mother intended to marry a Low Church curate. Poor Lady Beatrice ! She also mentioned me, and that I was the best dressed woman in Society (dear Paquin), and that it was considered very improper of me 211 THE LETTERS OF HER Lunch to let you visit at the places you did. I am with the sure she was the wife of a journalist, for she tcom e j^j^g^ gQ much more about Society than Society knew about itself or her. Just as Blanche and I were about to go to lunch, the Vicomte arrived. He looked immaculate and quite good-looking for a Frenchman ; he had been inspecting auto- mobiles the whole morning, and he was as hungry as a lion. We had lunch together in a corner, where we could see everybody; after lunch, the Vicomte had an engagement at the French Emibassy, but he said he would be back to dine with us, and take us to a music hall. As the weather had mended, I said I would go to Alice Hughes to have my photograph taken, as I should have to pay if I did not keep the appointment ; Blanche went to Marshall & Snelgrove to spend the afternoon. While I was waiting at the " studio," old Lady Blubber came in ; she showed me her proofs, and was delighted with them. They didn't look the least bit like her ; all the flabby rings under her eyes were smoothed out, and her mouth was made straight and the lump taken off the 2T2 • MOTHER TO ELIZABETH bridge of her nose. She said she should Th/rese order three dozen, that they were the best T^^^kes an likeness she had ever had taken ! After that '^fi^^^^'^on I went to a tea-shop in Bond Street, and came back to the Carlton to find that Therese had taken the afternoon out. As I can't, as you know, do the slightest thing for myself, I was absolutely helpless, so I just got into a wrapper, and read " Gyp " in front of the fire. By and bye Therese came ; she was spattered with mud as if she had been spending the day in Fleet Street, and she brought with her a strong odour of malt. When I scolded her, ever so gently, for going out without leave, she flew into a rage, and wanted to know if I wished a month's notice. Then she began to weep and pity herself, and her cheeks were the colour of lobsters, and she behaved very strangely. I told her to get my bath ready, and she fell asleep while it was filling, and the water overflowed and did no end of damage. I got very angry, and accused her of being drunk, which she indignantly denied, saying she had only been to see her mother who lives in Soho. I sent her to bed after that, 213 THE LETTERS OF HER Goes to and Blanche laced me up and did my hair, ^^'^ but I felt like a fright for the rest of the ^^'"'^'-' night. Dinner was rather tame, as there were so few people in the room, but of course one can't expect the season to last all the year round. The Vicomte had, after great diffi- culty, managed to get seats for " Mr. and Mrs. Daventry." Between the acts we heard people discussing who wrote it, and in fact, it is as much of an enigma as the authorship of " An Englishwoman's Love Letters." Blanche thinks the same person wrote both. The Vicomte thought the play very "polite," and was astonished that it had created such a sensation. He said we ought to see " La Dame aux Maximes " and " Demie-Vierge," both now running in Paris. We all agreed that the play was thoroughly representative of Society, but the unnatural parts were Daventry's suicide and the elopement of his wife with Ashurst. People don't do these things in our set. The company was excellent, and Blanche and I both wished we were Mrs. Pat Camp- 214 MOTHER TO ELIZABETH bell to have love made to us so delightfully ^////-'»^ Offices: 67 Fifth Avenue, New York 35 cents per month Annual Subscriptions (^3.50 Three Months' Trial Subscription ;gi.oo Two Specimen Copies sent for 25 cents in stamps It is the mission of '« The International Studio" to treat of Modern Art in all its phases — Art in Painting, Art in Sculpture, Art in Books, Art in Decoration, Art in the Home; and to illustrate not only the best pictures, but also the best decorative designs of the day. The principal writers on Art are contributors to its pages. Many original illustrations reproduced in the best possible manner are to be found in every number. 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