^ *1 among the r\ UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT LOS ANGELES Xo\>e among tbe Xions By F. ANSTEY. Love Among the Lions. Illustrated. nrao Cloth. Vice Versa; or, A Lesson to Fathers. i2mo. Cloth, $1.25; paper, 50c. Baboo Hurry Bungsho Jabberjee, B. A. nmo. Illustrated. Cloth, $1.50. The Statement of Stella Maberly. i6mo Cloth, $1.25. The Giant's Robe. Illustrated. 121T10. Cloth, $1.25; paper, 50c. The Black Poodle, and Other Stories. i2mo. Illustrated. Paper, 50c. Tourmalin's Time Cheques. Boards 50c. The Tinted Venus. i2mo Paper, 50c. Paleface and Redskin, and Other Stories for Boys and Girls. i2mo Illustrated. Cloth, $1.50. D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, New York. ilctor Smong t\)t iltons A MATRIMO- NIAL EXPERI- ENCE, BY F. ANSTEY, AU- THOR OF "VICE VERSA," ETC. yp I Bcto gorfc 2D, #pplcton anD Company 1899 i i • ■ Authorized Edition. / "P K List of Illustrations PAUE The exquisite face looking out over the wire bliud . 4 iEneas Polkinghorne 7 Still I persevered 9 The introduction of Mr. Blenkinsop to Miss Lurana de Castro 12 " And whom should I marry, Mr. Blenkinsop ?" . 18 " Let us be married in the Lions' Cage " . .26 " Yes, papa, we are a little late " . . . .31 "First-rate idea of yours, Blenkinsop" . . . 33 " Well, if the lady's as game as she seems, and the gentleman likewise, I don't see any objection " . 41 We were still chatting when Lurana returned . 43 A cleric of the broad-minded school . . .51 " If you go on like that I shall begin to think you want to frighten me" 55 Mademoiselle 61 1982. VI List of Illustrations "ADe Castro can never marry a Craven " . " If them two got together, there'd be the doose's delight" I was forlornly mopping when Niono returned My wedding toilette was complete " It's a swindle " A kind of small procession entered the arena Then he addressed the audience . " If only you had been firmer, Theodore " . PAGE 71 77 80 85 89 93 99 109 LOVE AMONG THE LIONS PART I In the following pages will be found the only authentic account of an affair which pro- vided London, and indeed all England, with material for speculation and excitement for a period of at least nine days. So many inaccurate versions have been circulated, so many ill-natured and unjust aspersions have been freely cast, that it seemed advisable for the sake of those principally con- cerned to make a plain unvarnished statement of the actual facts. And when I mention that I who write this am the Theodore Blenkinsop whose name was, not long since, as familiar in the public mouth as household words, I ven- ture to think that I shall at once recall the 1 i Love among the Lions matter to the shortest memory, and establish my right to speak with authority on the sub- ject. At the time I refer to I was — and for the matter of that still am — employed at a lucrative salary as taster to a well-known firm of tea-merchants in the City. I occupied fur- nished apartments, a sitting-room and bed- room, over a dairy establishment in Tadmor Terrace, near Baalbec Road, in the pleasant and salubrious district of Highbury. Arrived at the age of twenty-eight, I was still a bachelor and had felt no serious inclina- tion to change my condition until the memor- able afternoon on which the universe became transformed for me in the course of a quiet stroll round Canonbury Square. For the information of those who may be unacquainted with it, I may state that Canon- bury Square is in Islington; the houses, "though undeniably dingy as to their exteriors, are highly respectable, and mostly tenanted by members of the medical, musical, or scho- A Matrimonial Experience 3 lastic professions; some have balconies and verandahs which make it difficult to believe that one has not met them, like their occu- piers, at some watering place in the sum- mer. The square is divided into two by a road on which frequent tramcars run to the City, and the two central enclosures are neatly laid out with gravelled paths and garden seats; in the one there is a dovecot, in the other there are large terra-cotta oil- jars, bringing recollec- tions of the Arabian Nights and the devoted Morgiana. All this, I know, is not strictly to the point, but I am anxious to make it clear that the locality, though not perhaps a chosen haunt of Rank and Fashion, possesses compensations of its own. Strolling round Canonbury Square, then, I happened to glance at a certain ground floor window in which an art-pot, in the form of a chipped egg hanging in gilded chains and enamelled shrimp-pink, gave a note of femi- 4 Love among the Lions ninity that softened the dusty severity of a wire blind. Under the chipped egg, and above the top of the blind, gazing out with an air of list- less disdain and utter weariness, was a lovely vivid face, which, with its hint of pent-up pas- sion and tropical lan- guor, I mentally lik- ened to a pomegran- ate flower; not that I have ever seen a pomegranate flower, though I am more fa- miliar with the fruit — which, to my pal- ate, has too much the flavour of fire-wood to be wholly agree- able — but somehow it seemed the only appropriate comparison. xVfter that, few days passed on which I did not saunter at least once round the square, and several times I was rewarded by the sight &}TtW The exquisite face looking out over the wire blind. A Matrimonial Experience 5 of that same exquisite face, looking out over the wire blind, always with the same look of intense boredom and haughty resentment of her surroundings — a kind of modern Mariana, with an area to represent the moat. I was hoj)elessly in love from the very first; I thought of nothing but how to ob- tain admission to her presence; as time went on, I fancied that when I passed there was a gleam of recognition, of half-awakened in- terest in her long-lashed eyes, but it was dif- ficult to be certain. On the railing by the door was a large brass plate, on which was engraved : " iEneas Polkinghorne, Professor of Elocution. Prospectus within." So I knew the name of my divinity. I can give no greater indication of the extent of my pas- sion, even at this stage, than by saying that I found this surname musical, and lingered over each syllable with delight. But that brought me no nearer to her, and at last a plan occurred to me by which the abyss of the area that separated us might 6 Love among the Lions possibly be bridged over. Nothing could be simpler than my device — and yet there was an audacity about it that rather startled me at first. It was this : the brass plate said " Pro- spectus within." Very well, all I had to do was to knock boldly and ask for one, which, after some natural hesitation, I did. Any wild hope of obtaining an interview with Miss Polkinghorne was doomed to in- stant disappointment. I was received by the Professor himself, a tall, stout, flabby person, with sandy hair combed back over his brow and worn long behind, who showed a most sympathetic interest in me, inquiring whether I wished to be prepared for the Church, the Stage, or the Bar, or whether I had any idea of entering Parliament. I fear I allowed him to suppose the latter, although I am about as likely to get into Parliament as into an im- perial pint measure; but I had to say some- thing to account for my visit, and the tea-trade does not call for much in the way of ora- torical skill from its votaries. •fe-'l.^ iEneas Polkinghorne. 8 Love among the Lions Our interview was brief, but I came away, not only with a prospectus, but with tickets, for which I paid cash, entitling me to a course of six lessons in elocution. This was rather more than I had calculated upon — but, at least, it gave me the entree to the house, and it might lead to something more. It did not seem as if it was going to lead to much; the Professor's method of teaching was peculiar: he would post me in a study at the back of the house, where I was instructed to declaim some celebrated oration at the top of my voice while he retired upstairs to dis- cover how far my voice would carry. After twenty minutes or so he would re- turn with the information, which I have no reason to disbelieve, that he had not heard a single word above the first landing. Still I persevered, sustained by the thought that, when I was delivering the ora- tion of Brutus over Caesar, or the famous pas- sage about the Queen of France and the " ten A Matrimonial Experience thousand swords leaping from their scab- bards," my words might perchance reach Miss Polkinghorne's ear and excite in her a pass- ing emotion. But I came to the end of my tickets and still I was as far as ever from my goal, while the exertion of shouting had rendered me pain- fully husky. Yet I would not give in; I set myself to gain the Professor's good opinion; I took more tickets. It was not till after I had run through these that I as- certained, by an appar- ently careless inquiry, that there was no such person as Miss Polking- horne — the Professor was a widower and had never had a daughter! Still I persevered. io Love among the Lions The thought that I had wasted so much time and money for nothing was bitter at first, and I very nearly decided to discontinue my studies there and then. But I conquered my feelings. Though the Professor was no rela- tion to this young lady, he must know her name, he must be able to give me some in- formation about her; a little judicious pump- ing might render him communicative. " My dear Sir," he said, after I had been beating about the bush for some time with cautious delicacy, " I think I understand. You are anxious to make this young lady's acquaintance with a view of paying your ad- dresses to her? Is not that so? ' : I confessed that he had managed to pene- trate my motives, though I could not imagine how. " You will not be the first who has sought to win Lurana's affections," he said; "more than one of my pupils — but the child is am- bitious, difficult to please. Unfortunately, this is your final lesson — otherwise I might, A Matrimonial Experience 1 1 after preparing the ground, so to say, have pre- sented you to her, and I daresay she would have been pleased to give you a cup of tea occa- sionally after your labours. Indeed, as Miss Lurana de Castro's stepfather, I can answer for that — however, since our acquaintance un- happily ceases here— — -" It did not cease there; I took another dozen tickets at once, and if even Polkinghorne had sounded sweetly to my enamoured ear, you may conceive what enchanting melody lay in a name so romantic and so euphonious as Lurana de Castro. The Professor was as good as his word; at the end of the very next lesson I was invited to follow him to the drawing-room, where I found the owner of the brilliant face that had so possessed me seated at her tea-table. She gave me a cup of tea, and I can pay her witchery no higher compliment when I state that it seemed to me as nectar, even though my trained palate detected in it an in- artistic and incongruous blend of broken teas, 12 Love among the Lions utterly without either style or quality. I am not sure that I did not ask for another. She was astonishingly lovely; her Spanish descent was apparent in her magnificent black The Introduction of Mr. Blenkinsop to Miss Lurana de Castro. tresses, lustrous eyes, and oval face of olive tinted with richest carmine. As I afterwards learnt, she was the daughter of a Spanish Gov- ernment official of an ancient Castilian fam- ily, who had left his widow in such straitened A Matrimonial Experience 13 circumstances that she was compelled to sup- port herself by exhibiting performing mice and canaries at juvenile parties, until she met and married the Professor, who at that time was delivering recitations illustrated by an oxy-hydrogen lantern. The second marriage had not been alto- gether a success, and, now that the Professor was a widower, I fancy that his relations with his imperious stepdaughter were not invari- ably of the most cordial nature, and that he would have been grateful to any one who suc- ceeded in winning her hand and freeing him from her sway. I did not know that then, however, though I was struck by the deferential politeness of his manner towards her, and the alacrity with which, after he had refreshed himself, he shuffled out of the room, leaving Lurana to entertain me single-handed. That first evening with her was not un- mixed joy. I had the consciousness of being on trial. I knew that many had been tried 14 Love among the Lions and found wanting before rne. Lurana's atti- tude was languid, indifferent, almost disdain- ful, and when I went away I had a forlorn conviction that I should never again be asked to tea with her, and that the last series of tickets represented money absolutely thrown away ! And yet I was asked again — not only once, but many times, which was favourable as far as it went, for I felt tolerably certain that the Professor would never have ventured to bring me a second time into his daughter's presence, unless he had been distinctly given to under- stand that my society was very far from dis- tasteful to her. As I grew to know her better, I learnt the secret of her listlessness and discontent with life. She was tormented by the unbounded ambitions and the distinct limitations which embitter existence for so many young girls of our day. The admiration which her beauty excited gave her little satisfaction; such social success A Matrimonial Experience 15 as Highbury or Canonbury could offer left her cold and unmoved. She was pining for some distinction which should travel beyond her own narrow little world, and there did not seem to be any obvious way of attaining it. She would not have minded being a popular author or artist — only she could find nothing worth writing about, and she did not know how to draw; she would have loved to be a great actress — but unfortunately she had never been able to commit the shortest part to memory, and the pride of a de Castro forbade her to accept anything but. leading roles. No wonder that she was devoured by dul- ness, or that there were moments when she beat her pinions like some captive wild bird against the cage of her own incompetence. Even I, although fairly content with my lot, would sometimes flap my own wings, so to speak, from sheer sympathy. "It's maddening to be a nobody!" she would declare, as she threw herself petulantly back in her chair, with her arms raised behind 1 6 Love among the Lions her and her interlaced fingers forming a charm- ing cradle for her head — a favourite attitude of hers. " It does seem so stupid not to be celebrated when almost everybody is! And to think that I have a friend like Ruth Rake- straw, who knows ever so many editors and people, and could make me famous with a few strokes of the pen — if only I did some- thing to give her the chance. But I never do!" Miss Rakestraw, I should explain, was an enterprising young lady journalist, who con- tributed society news and " on dits " to the leading Islington and Holloway journals, and was understood to have had " leaderettes " and " turnovers " accepted by periodicals of even greater importance. " If only," Lurana burst out on one of these occasions, " if only I could do something once which would get my name into all the papers, set everybody thinking of me, talking of me, staring after me wherever I went, make editors write for my photograph, and inter- A Matrimonial Experience 17 viewers beg for my biography, I think I should be content." I made the remark, which was true but not perhaps startling in its originality, that fame of this kind was apt to be of brief dura- tion. "What should I care?" she cried; "I should have had it. I could keep the cuttings; they would always be there to remind me that once at least — but what's the use of talking? I shall never see my name in all the papers. I know I sha'n't." " There is a way! " I ventured to observe; " you might have your name in all the papers, if you married." "As if I meant that!" she said, with a deliciously contemptuous pout. " And whom should I marry, if you please, Mr. Blenkin- sop? " "You might marry me!' I suggested humbly. " You! " she retorted. " How would that i8 Love among the Lions make me a celebrity. You are not even one yourself." " I do not care to boast," I said, " but it is the simple fact that nobody iu the entire tea-trade has a j^alate approaching mine for T..„^ " And whom should I marry, Mr. Blenkinsop ?" keenness and delicacy. Ask any one and they will tell you the same." " You may be the best tea-taster in the world," she said, " but the purity of your pal- ate will never gain you a paragraph in a single society paper. And even if it did, what should 1 gain? At the best a reflected glory. I want to be a somebody myself! ' A Matrimonial Experience 19 " What's the use of trying to make our- selves what we are not?" I broke out. "If Fate has made us wooden nine-pins in the world's nursery, we may batter our head against the walls as much as we like — but we can never batter it into a profile! ' I thought this rather neatly put myself, but it did not appeal to Miss de Castro, who retorted with some asperity that I was the best judge of the material of my own head, but hers, at least, was not wooden, while she had hitherto been under the impression that it al- ready possessed a profile — such as it was. She could not be brought to understand that I was merely employing a metaphor, and for the remainder of the evening her de- meanour was so crushingly chilling, that I left in the lowest spirits, persuaded that my unlucky tongue had estranged me from Lu- rana for ever. For some time I avoided Canonbury Square altogether, for I felt unequal to fac- ing an elocution lesson unrecompensed by tea 4 20 Love among the Lions with Miss de Castro, and the half-hour or more of delightful solitude a deux which followed the meal — for it had never occurred to the Professor to provide his stepdaughter with a chaperon. At last, when on the verge of despair, hope returned in the form of a little note from Lurana, asking whether I was dead, and invit- ing me, if still in existence, to join a small party to visit the World's Fair at the Agricul- tural Hall the next evening, and return to sup- per afterwards at Canonbury Square, an in- vitation which, need I say, I joyfully accepted. We were only four; Miss Rakestraw and her fiance, a smart young solicitor's clerk, of the name of Archibald Chuck, whose em- ployer had lately presented him with his ar- ticles; myself, and Lurana. The Professor was unable to accompany us, having an en- gagement to read " Hiawatha " to a Young Men's Mutual Improvement Society that evening. Part of the hall was taken up by various A Matrimonial Experience i\ side-shows, shooting-galleries, and steam mer- ry-go-rounds, which produced a discordant and deafening din until a certain hour of the evening, when the noises subsided, and Wooker and Sawkins' World-renowned Circus gave a performance in the arena, which occu- pied the centre. Miss Rakestraw's connection with the Press procured us free passes to the re- served seats close to the ring; my chair was next toLurana's, and she was graciously pleased to ignore our recent difference. The enter- tainment was of the usual variety, I suppose; but, to tell the truth, I was so absorbed in the bliss of being once more by her side and watch- ing her face, which looked more dazzling than ever through the delicate meshes of her veil, that I have the vaguest recollection of the earlier items of the programme. But towards the close there came a per- formance which I have good reason to re- member. An enormous elephant entered the circle, 11 Love among the Lions drawing a trolley, upon which was an iron cage containing forest-bred African lions. After the electric globes had been lowered, so as to illuminate the interior, " Niono, the Lion King," a dapper, well-made man, of very much my own height and figure, so far as I could judge, went into the cage and put the animals through various exercises. Niono was succeeded by Mile. Leonie, the " Circe of the Carnivora," a pretty Frenchwoman, who, as it seemed to me, surpassed him in coolness and daring. There was nothing disagreeably sen- sational about the exhibition; all the animals were evidently under perfect control; the huge, black-maned lions leaped through paper hoops and blazing circles without the slightest loss of either temper or dignity; the fe- males followed obediently. Only one lioness showed any disposition to be offensive, and she did not venture to go beyond yawning ostentatiously whenever Mile. Leonie's eye was upon her. Altogether it was, as I remarked to Lurana A Matrimonial Experience 23 at the time, a wonderful instance of the natu- ral dominion of man over the animal world. She enthusiastically commended the symmetry of Mr. Niono's figure, which did not strike me as so very much above the average; and to pique her, I expressed equal admiration for Mile. Leonie, and was gratified to observe un- mistakable signs of jealousy on Lurana's part. But we were both agreed that the profession of lion-taming looked more dangerous than it actually was, and Archibald Chuck mentioned that some townsman in the provinces had, for a very trifling wager, entered a den of lions in a travelling menagerie with perfect impunity. Miss Rakestraw capped this by a case from America, in which a young couple had actu- ally chosen a lion's cage to be married in, though she admitted that the story was pos- sibly a fabrication. I walked back with Lurana alone, as we somehow lost sight of Mr. Chuck and his fiancee in the crush going out, and on the way home I could not refrain from pleading my 24 Love among the Lions cause once more. I told her how I had loved her at first sight, and how many elocution les- sons I had endured for her sake ; I pointed out that I was already receiving a salary sufficient to maintain a wife in comfort, if not luxury; and that her married life could hardly be more monotonous and uncongenial than her present existence. She listened attentively, as if moved. Presently she said, " Theodore, I will be per- fectly frank. I do like you ; I believe I could even love you. But I have Spanish blood in my veins. I could never be satisfied with a humdrum conventional marriage." I was inexpressibly shocked. I had no idea that her views were so emancipated. " Lurana," T said, " believe me, never mind what the lady novelists say against marriage; it may have its disadvantages, but, after all, as society is constituted " " You don't understand," she said. " I am not opposed to marriage — with a man who is willing to make some concession, some slight A Matrimonial Experience 25 sacrifice, to gratify me. But are you that kind of man, Theodore, I wonder? ' : I saw that she was already beginning to yield. " I would do anything — anything in the world you bid me," I cried, " if only you will be my wife, Lurana." " I should ask you to do nothing that I am not perfectly prepared to do myself," she said. " A temporary inconvenience, a risk which is the merest trifle. Still, you may think it too much, Theodore." " jSTame it," I replied. " The opportuni- ties which the tea trade affords for the cultiva- tion of heroism are rare; but there are few risks that I would shrink from running with you." " It is only this," she said. " I don't want a commonplace wedding. I want one that will be talked about and make a sensation. Will you let me be married in my own way? " I was rather relieved by what seemed so moderate a demand. " Certainly, darling," I said ; " we will be married in Westminster Ab- 26 Love among the Lions bey, by the Archbishop of Canterbury, if you wish it, and it can be arranged. What matter where or how the ceremony take place, or what it cost, provided it makes you mine for ever? ' : "Then, The- odore," she said, pressing my arm impulsively with her slim fingers, while the rays of a street lamp in the square fell on her upturned face and shining eyes, " let us be married at the Agricultural Hall — in the Lions' Cage! " I confess to being considerably startled. I had expected something rather out of ' Let us be married in the Lions' Cage." A Matrimonial Experience 27 the common, but nothing in the least like this. " In the lions' cage ! " I repeated, blankly. "Wouldn't that be rather smelly, Lurana? And, besides, the menagerie people would never lend it for such a purpose. Where would they put the lions, you know? ' : " Why, the lions would be there, of course," she said, " or else there'd be nothing in it." " If I am to be married in a lion-cage," I said, with a very feeble attempt at levity, " I should very much prefer that there was noth- mg in it. " Ah, you may laugh, Theodore ! " she said, " but, after all your professions, surely you won't refuse the very first indulgence I ask! You may think it a mere whim, a girlish ca- price; but understand this — I am thoroughly in earnest about it. If you are willing to marry me as I wish, the wedding may be as soon as ever you please. But if not, tell me so plainly, and let us part for ever. Either 5 28 Love among the Lions I will be married in my own way, or not at all." What could I do? It was simply impos- sible to give her up now, the very moment after she was won. And to lose her for such a mere punctilio ; for, of course, this condition of hers was too fantastic to be practicable; the Professor would certainly refuse his consent to so eccentric a ceremony; Lurana herself would probably realise before long the absurd- ity of the idea. In the meantime, as her acknowledged fiance, I should have the im- mense advantage of being on the spot when she returned to a more reasonable frame of mind. So I gave way, and assured her that I had no personal objection to lions, and would as soon be married in their presence as elsewhere, provided that we could obtain the necessary permission; and even if I had thought this more probable than I did, I believe — so potent was the witchery of Lurana's voice and eyes — I should have said precisely the same. A Matrimonial Experience 29 " Dearest Theodore! " she murmured, " I never really doubted you. I felt so sure that you would be nice and sympathetic about it. If we couldn't agree about such a trifling thing as where we are to be married, we should be unsuited to one another, shouldn't we? Now we will just walk round the square once more, and then go in and tell the others what we have arranged." They had sat down to supper when we en- tered, and the Professor cast a glance of keen inquiry through his spectacles at us, over the cold beef and pickles with which he was re- cruiting his energies after " Hiawatha." " Yes, papa," said Lurana, calmly, " we are a little late; but Theodore has been asking me to marry him, and I have said I would." There was an outburst of congratulations from Miss Rakestraw and Chuck. Old Pol- kinghorne thought fit to conceal his joy under a cloak of stagey emotion. " "Well, well," he said, "it is Nature's law; the young birds spread their wings and quit the warm nest, and 30 Love among the Lions the old ones are left to sit and brood over the past. I cannot blame you, child. As for you, my boy," he added, extending a flabby hand to me, " all I can say is, there is no one to whom I would so willingly surrender her." There was scarcely any one to whom, in my opinion, he would not surrender her with the utmost alacrity, for, as I have already hinted, Lurana, with all her irresistible fascina- tion, had a temper of her own, and was apt to make the parental nest a trifle too warm for the elder bird occasionally. " And when am I to lose my sunbeam? ' : he asked. " Xot just yet? " " Theodore wishes to have the marriage as soon as possible," said Lurana, " by special licence." " Have you settled where? " inquired Miss Eakestraw, with feminine interest in such de- tails. " "Well," said Lurana slowly, evidently en- joying the effect she was producing, " Theo- dore and I have quite made up our minds to be "Yes, papa, we are a little late.' 32 Love among the Lions married at the Menagerie — in the den of lions." ''How splendid!' exclaimed the lady journalist. " It's never been done over here. ^Mlat a sensation it will make! I'll do a full descriptive report for all my papers ! ' " That's what I call a real sporting way of getting spliced," said Chuck. " Only wish I'd thought of it myself before I had our banns put up, Ruth. First-rate idea of yours, Blen- kinsop." " Of course," I said, " if the Professor thinks it in the least unsafe " " Oh, it's safe enough," put in Chuck, who was a little too apt to volunteer his opinion. " Why, we've seen the lions, Professor; they're as quiet as lambs. And anyway, they'd have the lion-tamer in with them, you know. They'll be all right!" " I think," said the Professor, " we may disregard the danger; but the expense — have you thought what it will cost, Theodore? " " I have not," I said, " not till you men- **?? "First-rate idea of yours, Blenkinsop." 34 Love among the Lions tioned it. It will probably be enormous, more than I could possibly afford — unless you are ready to go halves? " I concluded, feeling per- fectly certain that he was ready to do nothing of the sort. "But look here," said Chuck, "why should it cost you anything? If you go the right way about it, you ought to get all your expenses paid by the circus, and a share of the gate-money into the bargain." "Oh, Mr. Chuck!" cried Lurana, " how clever of you to think of that! wasn't it, Theodore? " I could have kicked Chuck, but I said it was a stroke of positive genius. " That's simple enough," he said. " The rock / see ahead is getting the special licence. You see, if you want to marry anywhere else than in a certified place of worship or a registry office, you must first satisfy the Archbishop of Canterbury, or the Surrogate, or whoever the old Josser is at Doctors' Com- mons who looks after these things, that it's A Matrimonial Experience 35 a ' convenient place ' within the Marriage Act of 1836. ISTow, the point is, will a cage of lions strike them as coming under that de- scription? " If it should, the ecclesiastical notions of convenience must be more than peculiar. For the first time I realised what an able fellow Chuck was. " My dear Chuck ! " I said, " what a mar- vellous knowledge you have of law! You've hit the weak spot. It would be perfectly hopeless to make such an application. It's a pity, but we must give it up, that's all — we must give it up." " Then," said Lurana, " we must give up any marriage at all, for I certainly don't in- tend to marry anywhere else." " After all," said the irrepressible Chuck, " all you need apply for is a licence to marry in the Agricultural Hall; they won't want to know the exact spot. I tell you what, you go and talk it over with the circus people and fix the day, and I'll go up to Doctors' Commons 36 Love among the Lions and get round 'em somehow. You leave it to me." " Do you know," said the Professor, beam- ing, " I really begin to think this idea of yours can be carried out quite comfortably after all, Theodore. It certainly has the attraction of novelty, besides being safe, and even, it may be, remunerative. To a true lover, a lions' cage may be as fit a temple of Hymen as any other structure, and their roars be gentle as the ring-dove's coo. Go and see these people the first thing to-morrow, and no doubt you will be able to come to terms with them." This I agreed to do, and Lurana insisted on coming with me. Miss Rakestraw was in ecstasies over our proposal, and undertook to what she called " boom the wedding for all it was worth " in every paper with which she had any connection, and with other more influ- ential organs to which the possession of such exclusive intelligence as hers would procure her the entree. A Matrimonial Experience 37 By the end of the evening she had com- pletely turned Lurana's head, and even I my- self was not quite untouched by the general enthusiasm. It seemed to me that being mar- ried in a den of lions might not be such bad fun after all. When I awoke next morning with the dawning recollection of what I was in for, the glamour had in a great measure departed from the idea, which seemed to me at best but a foolish piece of bravado. It had been ar- ranged that I should call for Lurana imme- diately after breakfast, and interview the cir- cus proprietors on my way to business, and I rather expected to find that the night had borne counsel to her as well as myself; but she was in exuberant spirits, and as keen about the project as ever, so I thought it better not to betray that my own ardour had abated. But what, after all, were we going to re- quest? That these people should allow their lions to be inconvenienced, quite unnecessa- rily, by a wedding in their cage between two 3$ Love among the Lions perfect strangers who had all London to choose from! I believed that they would decline to en- tertain the suggestion for a moment, and, if so, I could not blame them. I felt that they would have both right and reason on their side. On arriving at the Hall, we inquired for Mr. Wooker or Mr. Sawkins, and were re- quested to wait, which we did in a draughty passage smelling strongly of stables, while loud snorting and wheezing reached our ears from the arena, where they seemed to be exercising the circus stud. At last we were told that Mr. Sawkins would see us (I don't know to this day whether Mr. Wooker had any real existence or not), and were shown up to his office, which did not differ from any other office, except that it had a gaudy circus poster and a bill announcing the sale by auction of some rival menagerie pinned against the wall. As for Mr. Sawkins, he was a florid, jowly man, with the remnants A Matrimonial Experience 39 of his hair dyed and parted down the middle, a kind of amalgam of a country job-master and the dignified person who bows customers into chairs in a fashionable draper's establish- ment. He heard Lurana, who acted as spokes- woman, with magisterial gravity, and, to my surprise, without appearing to regard us as a pair of morbid maniacs. " There's no denying," he said, " that the thing would draw if properly billed, always supposing, mind you, that it's capable of be- ing done at all. And the only person able to give an opinion about that is Mr. Onion, the gentleman," he explained, " who is our Lion King. He spells his name ' Xiono ' profes- sionally, which gives it more of an African flavour, if you follow my meaning. I'll call down the tube for him." I awaited Mr. Onion's arrival with impa- tience. He presently made his appearance in a short-braided tunic, with black lamb's wool round the collar and cuffs. By daylight his 40 Love among the Lions countenance, though far from ill-looking, was sallow and seamed; there was a glance of ad- miration in his bold, dark eyes as they rested on Lurana's spirited face. " Well," he decided, after the case had been explained to him, " if the lady's as game as she seems, and the gentleman likewise, / don't see any objection. Along with me, there'll be no more danger than if it was a cage of white mice — provided you've the nerve for it." Lurana said proudly that her own mother had been an accomplished animal trainer — she did not mention the kind of animals — and that she herself was 'quite incapable of being afraid of a lion. " If you've got nerve," said Mr. Niono, " you're right enough, but you can't create it ; it's a gift. Take me. I'm hardly ever away from my animals. I get downright impatient for every performance. But if ever I got the feeling that I was afraid of them lions or they weren't afraid o' me, do you think I'd trust " Well, if the lady's as game as she seems, and the gentleman likewise, I don't see any objection." 42 Love among the Lions myself inside that cage? No fear! They've left their marks on me as it is — my ' trade marks/ as I call 'em — see! " and here he bared his arm and exhibited some fearful scars; " but that's affection, that is." He then offered to introduce us to his pets, and I should have accompanied Lurana to see the cage, only on the way we met Mile. Leonie, to whom Mr. Sawkins presented me, and, natu- rally, I was compelled to stop. She was a piquant-looking woman, not quite in her first youth, perhaps, but still attractive, and with the indescribable, airy grace of a Parisian, though I believe she came from Belgium. Mademoiselle was charmed with our project, complimented me upon my Britannic phlegm, and predicted that I should find the little ex- perience " all," as she put it, " that there was of the most agreeable," which I devoutly hoped would be the case. We were still chatting when Lurana re- turned, enraptured with the lions, one of whom had actually allowed her to tickle him "We were still chatting when Lurana returned. 44 Love among the Lions behind the ear. Mono testified that her nerve, at all events, was beyond question. She was anxious that I should go and tickle the lion, too; but this I declined, being occu- pied in talking to Mile. Leonie at the time. " There's one thing," said Mr. Sawkins later, as we were discussing the arrangements, " we shouldn't object to paying for the special licence; but where are you going to find a par- son to marry you? You must have a parson of some sort, you know." Again Fate seemed to have interposed an insurmountable barrier between us and our de- sire. I had to admit that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to find a clergyman cour- ageous enough to enter the cage with us. f Well, there's no call for him to be inside of it," said Mr. Mono, who was with us, heart and soul, by this time. " In fact, the lady and yourself are about as many as I could un- dertake to be answerable for. We could rig him up a perch outside to read the service from, comfortable." A Matrimonial Experience 45 Even so, I said, I was afraid that it was hardly a service one could ask any divine to perform. " I know a party who'd jump at it," said Mr. Mono, who was full of resource. " The Reverend Skipworth. You know who I mean, Sawkins. Little chap in a check suit and goggles I introduced to you at the bar the other evening — always dropping in, he is. He'd do it, just for the lark of the thing. And he's a regular professional, you know," he added for my benefit, " though he don't sport a white choker in his off hours; likes to go about and see life for himself, and quite right. You get the licence, sir, and I'll guarantee that the Reverend JSTinian Skipworth will do the job for you." So we left the hall, delighted, especially Lurana, with the unexpected ease with which our object had been attained. It had seemed at first the wildest extravagance, and now there was apparently every prospect that Lurana and I would really exchange our marriage vows in 4-6 Love among the Lions a den of forest-bred lions, unless (which, of course, was a possibility that had to be taken into account) the ecclesiastical authorities should refuse to grant a special licence. I was unable to apply in person at Doctors' Commons, for Lurana insisted that I should leave the whole matter in Chuck's hands, but I impressed upon him the necessity of abso- lute candour with the officials. Whether he told them all, whether they were remiss in making full inquiry, or whether — as I would rather not think — he intention- ally deceived them, I cannot say, but at all events he came back triumphantly with the special licence. "Wooker and Sawkins had fixed an early date, and wished the wedding to take place at night, so as to figure in the evening pro- gramme, but the Surrogate, or somebody at the office, had insisted that it must be in the afternoon, which would, of course, oblige Mr. Sawkins to introduce it at a matinee perform- ance. A Matrimonial Experience 47 Miss Rakestraw proved herself a born journalist. She placed her news at the dis- posal of an enterprising evening journal, whose bills that very same evening came out with startling and alliterative head-lines such as: Love Laughs at Lions! Canonbury Couple to Marry in Cageful of Carnivora and from that moment, as the reader will recollect, Lurana and I became public char- acters. There were portraits — quite unrecognis- able — of us in several of the illustrated week- lies, together with sketches of and interviews with us both, contributed by Miss Ruth's fa- cile stylograph, and an account of the Pro- fessor, contributed by himself. As for the daily papers there was scarcely one, from the Times downwards, which did not contain a leader, a paragraph, or a letter on the subject of our contemplated wedding. 48 Love among the Lions Some denounced me violently for foolhardy rashness, others for the selfishness with which I was encouraging an impressionable girl to risk her life to gratify my masculine vanity. Several indignantly demanded whether it was true that the Archbishop had sanctioned such a scandalous abuse of marriage rites, and if so, what the Home Office were about? There was a risk that all this publicity would end in the authorities being compelled to interfere and countermand the ceremony, and yet I cannot honestly say that I disliked the fuss that was made about it. In the City, to be sure, I had to put up with a certain amount of chaff; facetious • inquiries as to whether I intended to present the leonine bridesmaids with bones or pieces of raw meat, and the precise locality in which my wife and I thought of spending our honeymoon. But such badinage covered a very genuine respect • for my intrepidity, and I was looked upon as a credit to the tea trade. The appointed day was getting nearer and A Matrimonial Experience 49 nearer, and still — so wonderfully did Fortune befriend us — the authorities gave no sign of any intention to interfere. Parliament had not yet reassembled, so no one could rise and put a question in the House to the Home Sec- retary, and if Government officials ever read the morning papers, it seemed that they did not feel called upon to take cognisance of any- thing they read there, unless compelled to do so by pressure from without. Nor did the Archbishop take any steps. No doubt he may have been unaware of the precise conditions under which the ceremony was to be sanctioned, and the same remark ap- plies to the Bishop of London. It is true that their attention was drawn to the facts by more than one postcard, as I have reason to know. But some people make a practice — and it is not for me to condemn them — of taking no notice of anonymous communications. However, as the time drew on, I thought it would be only proper on my part to go and call upon the Reverend Xinian Skipworth, the 5