XTRACTS 
 
 From 
 
 An Elders Diary.
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 AN ELDER'S DIARY 
 
 EDITED BY 
 
 REV JOSEPH B. STRATTON. D. D. 
 
 NATCHEZ, MISS. 
 
 Presbyterian CcniMiTTEE ok Publication.
 
 
 C •) F V K I (J H T K Ii 
 HV 
 
 J A S. K H A Z E N, Secri'/ary of Piihlication. 
 I S96. 
 
 Printed hv 
 
 WlUTTET & SHEPHERSON, 
 
 Richmond, Va.
 
 NOTE. 
 
 The permission to publish the extracts from 
 an elder's diary contained in this volume was 
 given by a competent aiithority, at the request 
 of the present editor, to whom the privilege of 
 reading the original manuscript had been ac- 
 corded. The request was made in the hope 
 that a record of the actual labors, trials and 
 experiences of one bearing the important office 
 of ruling elder in the Presbyterian Church, 
 interspersed with illustrative incidents, might 
 be serviceable to this branch of the Christian 
 ministry. Treatises and manuals, proposing to 
 throw light upon the spirit and manner in which 
 the functions of the eldership should be dis- 
 charged, have been numerous of late. The 
 fact may be indicative of an awakened con- 
 viction on the part of the teaching ministry 
 that their worfe needs to be buttressed by an 
 increased efficiency on the part of these co- 
 
 5501S8
 
 4 Preface. 
 
 acljutors taken from the body of a church's 
 members. The house given to the former to 
 build is so "exceedingly magnifical" in its 
 design and proportions that it calls for an 
 expenditure of talent and toil greater than 
 any one man can furnish. It has been thought 
 by the editor that the living picture afforded 
 by these annals of an elder's attempts 'to do 
 his duty might be a helpful supplement to 
 directories of a more definite kind, and hence 
 they have been given to the public. 
 
 It is hardly necessary to add, that in cop}'- 
 ing these extracts care has been taken to con- 
 ceal names of persons and places, so as to 
 avoid the risk of trespassing upon the sanc- 
 tities of private life. But few changes in the 
 language have been required in preparing the 
 manuscript for publication. The facts intro- 
 duced, I have reason to know, are realities, 
 not fictions; and the selections from the body 
 of the diary have been made with the best 
 judgment the editor could exercise. 
 
 J. B. Stratton. 
 
 " Sunsft Lodge" \atchez. Miss.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 I. T'AGK. 
 
 The Struggle, 
 
 II. 
 
 The Decision, . . . . . . 11 
 
 III. 
 
 PRErARATION, . . . . . . 17 
 
 IV. 
 
 A Practicai. Problem, ..... 20 
 
 A Victory, ....... 25 
 
 VI. 
 
 New Crosses, . . . . . . 32 
 
 VII. 
 
 Peacemaking, . . . . . . 3T 
 
 VIII. 
 The Presbytery, ...... 44 
 
 IX. 
 
 An Inquirer, ., . . . . . 50 
 
 X. 
 
 The Sabbath-Sciiool, ..... 59 
 5
 
 6 
 
 Contents, 
 
 
 XI. 
 
 A IIevival, . 
 
 
 
 XII. 
 
 A RoiMANCE, . 
 
 
 
 XIII. 
 
 A Pestilence, 
 
 
 
 XIV. 
 
 The General Assembly, 
 
 
 XV. 
 
 Pastoral C^hancjes, 
 
 
 
 XVI. 
 
 Tribulation, 
 
 
 
 xvi: 
 
 Session ^Meetings, 
 
 
 Page. 
 65 
 
 72 
 
 81 
 
 94 
 
 106 
 
 110 
 
 122 
 
 XVIII 
 
 Sociability. ....... 128 
 
 XIX 
 
 Church Discipline, ..... 135 
 
 XX. 
 
 Sovereign Grace, ..... 143 
 
 XXI 
 
 Spiritual Communications, .... 150 
 
 XXII. 
 
 £VENTIDE . . . . . . .162
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 AN ELDER'S DIARY. 
 
 EXTRACT I. 
 
 THE STRUGGLE. 
 
 May 18, 1865. — To ni}'- surprise — I might 
 almost say dismay — I have received notice 
 to-day of my election at a recent meeting of 
 our congregation to the office of ruling elder. 
 The announcement has thrown my mind into a 
 tumult which has almost amounted to an agony. 
 I seem to be standing in the presence of a 
 mountain, with a voice sounding in my ears, 
 bidding me to lift it. At every glance I take 
 at the stupendous object, the larger it seems 
 to grow, and the more my consciousness of 
 my inability to bear its weight overwhelms 
 me. My inclinations prompt me at once to 
 decline the call. My judgment, as far as I can 
 be said to have any in ftiy present confusion 
 of mind, sides with my inclinations. I am 
 averse to positions of prominence or leadership. 
 7
 
 8 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 Mj disposition leads me to shrink from re- 
 sponsibility and the criticism to which office 
 exposes one. I have not enjoyed the advan- 
 tages of literary culture. My training has 
 been largely of a practical sort. I feel myself 
 at home in every-day business matters, but in 
 the higher field of ecclesiastical legislation and 
 spiritual science I am a novice, needing to be 
 taught rather than presuming to teach. Be- 
 sides, I am painfully lacking in self-confidence. 
 I lose my command of such resources as I may 
 really possess, when called upon to act in the 
 eyes of a multitude. My bewilderment is op- 
 pressive! I fear to take a step in any direc- 
 tioD, lest it should be a wrong one. Lord, 
 help me ! Send me light. 
 
 Sunday, May 21. — The last three days have 
 been so absorbed in the consideration of this 
 great question of duty which has been thrust 
 upon me that I have had little capacity for 
 my ordinary employments. My repugnance to 
 accepting the ofiice proposed to me continues, 
 perhaps, as decided as ever ; but sometimes the 
 suspicion steals into my mind that there may, 
 to some extent, be a carnal bias affecting my 
 way of looking at the matter; and fearing that 
 I might be unduly swayed by this, I have tried, 
 ■with the simplicity of a little child, to follow
 
 The Struggle. 9 
 
 the counsel of the apostle: "If any man lack 
 wisdom, let him ask of God." 
 
 I have felt, at the close of this holy day, in 
 which I seem to have been unusually conscious 
 of the nearness of that divine inspirer, that 
 the aspect of the harassing problem has some- 
 what changed, and that some of the factors in 
 it which at first appalled me have been with- 
 drawn, and others wiiich I had failed to appre- 
 ciate have come into view. 
 
 I think I am indebted, in part, for the com- 
 parative composure I enjoy to-night to some 
 thoughts uttered by our pastor in his sermon 
 this morning. Speaking of our Lord's remark 
 to his disciples, in Matthew x. 20, "It is not 
 ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father 
 which speaketh in you," he explained that 
 ^'speaking," here, might be understood as in- 
 cluding all forms of testimony by which men 
 may bear witness to Christ, or render service 
 in the propagating of his religion ; and, while 
 admitting that the immediate reference of the 
 saying was to the supernatural aid his disciples 
 might expect in their controversies with their 
 opponents, he argued that all believers are au- 
 thorized to expect from their heavenly Father 
 the help of the Holy Spirit in fitting them for 
 duty, more confidently even than children are
 
 10 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 to expect bread from the baud of a natural 
 parent. (Luke xi. 13.) "As the presence of 
 the Holy Spirit," he continued, "implies the 
 exercise of his power in some way, there is 
 valid ground for the expectation that this 
 power will be exercised in behalf of every 
 sincere Christian who is striving, whether by 
 speech or work, to bring men to the knowledge 
 of the truth as it is in Jesus." 
 
 In revolving these thoughts, I find that an 
 estimate of the efficiency I might bring into 
 the office set before me is not to be limited by 
 the paucity of my personal endowments, but 
 that the declaration, "It is not ye that speak, 
 but the Spirit of your Father," carries me out 
 of my feeble self, and shows me a reserve of 
 force lying behind or above me, whose resources 
 are available for me simply upon the asking. 
 
 The train of my reflections has been, in some 
 measure, assuring ; and I go to my rest repeat- 
 ing the words of Moses (Exodus xxxiii. 15): 
 "If thy presence go not with me, carry us not 
 up hence," but venturing to add, with a hesi- 
 tating confidence, "If that presence will go 
 with me, Lord, I will lean upon thy strength 
 and go lip."
 
 EXTRACT 11. 
 
 THE DECISION. 
 
 Sunday, June 4. — I review the events of 
 this day with peculiar solemnity. It seems as 
 if the vows of consecration, which I made ten 
 years ago when I was admitted to the com- 
 munion of the church, had been repeated 
 with a special emphasis and a special preci- 
 sion of aim and purpose. If I said then, with 
 an earnest heart, "Lord, what wilt thou have 
 me to do?" I have with tenfold earnestness 
 renewed the appeal to-day. 
 
 My assent to the call having been given in 
 the previous week, it was arranged that the 
 ordination should take place this morning, in 
 connection with the administration of the Lord's 
 supper, for which this was the regular season. 
 It was a happy conjunction. It was a good 
 position, in the presence of the symbols of the 
 Saviour's service for his people, for an honest 
 disciple to get a view of the measure of service 
 due to him. It was impossible not to respond 
 to the import of the sacred festival in the terms 
 of the apostle's confession, "To me to live is 
 Christ." 
 
 11
 
 12 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 The opportunity was a good one, too, in 
 which to realize that my investiture with office 
 was a fact as well as a form ; for it gave me the 
 privilege, as a minister in the Lord's house, of 
 presenting to my fellow-believers the emblem- 
 atic bread and cup, which, by his own ordi- 
 nance, were to attest the redemption wrought 
 through his death till he should come again. 
 
 While the series of thoughts or convictions 
 by which the result just consummated has been 
 reached is fresh in m}' mind, I wish to record 
 them deliberately, thinking that a recollection 
 of them may be useful to me in coming time. 
 
 First, then, I cannot entertain a doubt that 
 the congregating of Christians in the form of a 
 church, as practiced by the apostles, included 
 in it the appointing of a certain class of per- 
 sons to be teachers and rulers in each particular 
 body. The economy, or hoiise-lcno of the new 
 family, called necessarily for such a class. Ac- 
 cordingly, when a band of disciples had been 
 gathered together, in several cities in Asia Minor, 
 by Paul and Barnabas (Acts xiv. 23), and a 
 permanent organization had to be introduced, 
 under which their corporate life might be pro- 
 tected and cultivated, they, that is, Paul, an 
 inspired ambassador of Christ, and Barnabas, 
 his chosen associate, "ordained them" elders
 
 The Decision. 1'^ 
 
 (or presbyters) in every city; and, then, "hav- 
 ing prayed with fasting and commended them 
 to the Lord on whom they believed," left the in 
 under the sole charge of these officers. Simi- 
 larly, I find that the apostle commissioned 
 Titus his deputy to " ordain elders in every 
 city" in Crete. (Titus i. 5.) Uniformly, I 
 may say, wherever I see a church referred to 
 in apostolic writings, I see the " elders " con- 
 joined with it as a constituent and representative 
 element. (See Acts xi. 30; xx. 17; Jas. v. 14; 
 1 Pet. V. 1.) I am sure, therefore, that the 
 office that I have consented to accept has the 
 authentic warrant of an institution of the head 
 of the church. 
 
 Second, It is clear to me, from the tenor of 
 the Scrjpture allusions and the probabilities of 
 the case, that there was, ordinarily at least, a 
 plurality of these elders in each church ; and, 
 if so, "diversities of gifts," which led to a 
 diversity of function, such as now distinguishes 
 the "teaching" from the "ruling" elder in the 
 Presbyterian Church. I am satisfied, there- 
 fore, that the office with which I have been 
 invested has a place in the divine plan, and 
 needs to be filled, in order to perfect the 
 organization of a church. It strikes me that 
 this multiplied way of exercising the oversight
 
 14 EXTHAC"I"S FROM AX ElDEH's DlAHY. 
 
 of the flock is eminently the result of the wis- 
 dom of the Holy Ghost. 
 
 Third, I am constrained to conclude that, 
 owing to the incompetency caused by the old 
 age or confirmed ill-health of some of the 
 members of the eldership in this church, there 
 is, at this time, a patent necessity for an addi- 
 tion to their number. It is clearly the duty of 
 some individual or individuals in the male con- 
 stituency of the church, in this exigency, to 
 lend their services, however diffident they may 
 be as to their worthiness, to this branch of the 
 Lord's work. The appeal addresses itself to 
 me, as well as to others. It is enforced by the 
 voice of my brethren. If it is I whom the 
 Master needs, I must not refuse to obey. 
 
 Fourth, I see that many who, like Moses 
 and Jeremiah, have had a clear vocation from 
 God to do service in his kingdom, and have 
 shrunk from the mission assigned them through 
 conscious unfitness, have, nevertheless, when 
 obediently taking up their l>urden, "out of 
 weakness been made strong " ; and by their 
 history I am admonished to be distrustful of 
 those self -distrusting scruples which led me, at 
 first view, to object to a proposed work for God. 
 
 Fifth, I find a growing attractiveness in the 
 work I am invited to take up, from the couvic-
 
 The Decision. 15 
 
 tion that it will uot only add to my opportuni- 
 ties for doing good, but will contribute largely 
 to my growth in personal piety. I am sure the 
 "one thing" I have set before me as the su- 
 preme end of my present life is, "to press to- 
 ward the mark for the prize of the high calling 
 of God in Christ Jesus," I persuade myself 
 that in obeying this call of the church I shall 
 realize more sensibly the force of this " high 
 calling." I shall be brought into more con- 
 scious sympathy and fellowship with Christ. 
 In "losing" my life for his sake, in giving my 
 thoughts and cares to the interests of his cause, 
 I may hope to experience the blessed result of 
 "saving" it, in the sense of quickening and 
 maturing the spiritual principle within me. I 
 may find myself growing richer in grace in 
 proportion as I abridge my schemes of self- 
 seeking (which is the name for worldly busi- 
 ness), and consecrate my energies to the ad- 
 vancement of Christ's kingdom. There is an 
 inspiration in this idea which gives me courage, 
 and which I cannot but think comes from above. 
 The peace it has brought me is peculiar. May 
 I not regard it as the " perfect peace " promised 
 to those "whose minds are stayed on God"? 
 
 Sixth, I have been confirmed in the conclu- 
 sion to which I have come, by an exalted view
 
 16 Extracts from an Eldeu's Diary. 
 
 of the nature of that faith wliich I am exercis- 
 ing. It appears to me it is a sort of transmu- 
 tation — a putting of him in whom I trust in 
 the place of myself, or a transfer of my poor 
 personality to that of my Chief, who has said 
 to his messenger, " Go, and I will be with 
 thee ! " The work I am to do must be done by 
 a human instrument, by human methods; but 
 the Being who has allowed me to link myself 
 with him can give a potency to my efforts be- 
 yond what they inherently possess. I will 
 measure my possible efficiency by that which I 
 know belongs to the Master with whom I am 
 identified. This seems to be the view of faith 
 which St. Paul expresses when he says (Gal. 
 ii. 20), " I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in 
 me"; and (Phil. iv. 13) "I can do all things 
 through Christ which strengtheneth me." Here, 
 too, in the confidence that in the sincere en- 
 deavor to do the work proposed to me I shall 
 be acting under an inspiration and an invigora- 
 tion derived from fellowship with Christ, I 
 find a ground of comfort as I contemplate the 
 grave responsibilities I am about to assume. 
 " We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that 
 the excellency of the power may be of God, 
 and not of us." (2 Cor. iv. 7.)
 
 EXTRACT III. 
 
 PREPARATION. 
 
 Sunday, July 2. — I have been occupied dur- 
 ing the past montli in studying, as I have had 
 opportunity, the nature of the office of ruling 
 elder, and the form of practical work which it 
 includes. For this purpose I have gone, first, 
 to the apostolic writings, and sought to get 
 from this source a definite idea of what the 
 infallible founders of the Christian church in- 
 tended that the presbyters whom they ordained 
 should be and do. This idea, I think, is care- 
 fully and correctly reproduced in the section 
 touching the ruling elder in Chapter IV. of 
 the Form of Government of our church. In 
 addition, I have consulted such of the pub- 
 lished treatises and hand-books upon the sub- 
 ject as were within my reach. The efifect has 
 been a helpful one. I feel that I have a pre- 
 cise and intelligent conception, at least as to 
 the main points, of what is required of me by 
 conscience and the body which has called me 
 to be its overseer ; and my hope is that I shall 
 be able, in my manner of executing my office, 
 to bear with me a fixed consciousness of its obli- 
 2 17
 
 18 Extracts from ax Elder's Diary. 
 
 gatioDS, and not leave them to be suggested by 
 casual impulses or merely ceremonial demands. 
 Always, and everywhere, I want to remember 
 my ministry and to "make full proof of it." 
 
 It lias seemed to me, knowing as I do, and as 
 everybody does, what is expected of the pastor 
 of a church, and recognizing the ruling elder as 
 a connecting link between him and his flock, 
 touching both parties in his relations and func- 
 tions, that the duty of the eider may be com- 
 prehended in this one statement — that he is to 
 endeavor in all things except those which be- 
 long specially to the pastoral office to make the 
 pastor's work his own. Through his labors 
 the pastor's efficiency is to be ramified. He 
 is to be the arm which moves in accord with 
 the will of the head. What the pastor preaches 
 in the way of doctrine and precept he is to re- 
 produce as a "living epistle," which may be 
 read of all men, in his character and deport- 
 ment; and what the pastor enjoins as a Chris- 
 tian duty he is to endorse by his consistent 
 example. He is to be the reflector by which the 
 force of the pulpit is to be conveyed to the peo- 
 ple ; and the reporter by whom the needs of 
 the people are to be disclosed to the pastor. 
 St. Paul seems to have regarded Timothy as 
 standing somewhat in this relation to himself,.
 
 Preparation. 19 
 
 when he wrote to the Corinthians (1 Cor. iv. 17) : 
 " For this cause have I sent unto you Timo- 
 theus, who is my beloved son, and faithful in 
 the Lord, who shall hriny you into remenihrance 
 of my %oays^\^\c\\ be in Christ, <is I teach every- 
 where in every church." 
 
 I intend to keep this general idea in my mind 
 as a convenient summary of particular duties. 
 I fancy that it will give a play and scope to the 
 sensibilities in my work, which, perhaps, a mere 
 attention to a routine or a schedule might fail 
 to supply. I fully appreciate the necessity for 
 order as a condition of success in any under- 
 taking, and I will try to observe it; but my 
 disposition leads to chafe under the strict ap- 
 plication of lines and angles in religious ser- 
 vices. With the regularity of Ezekiel's wheel, 
 I like to see the free motion of the "Spirit" 
 which is in it.
 
 EXTRACT IV. 
 
 A FR ACTIO AL PROBLEM. 
 
 Sunday, July 23. — As happens in most 
 cases with those who bear the office of ruling 
 elder, I am embarrassed by the absorbing de- 
 mands of secular avocations. My time, for the 
 greater part of each week-day, belongs to my 
 employers. I am religiously bound to show 
 myself a just steward. I have a wife and three 
 children, whom, by careful management, I can 
 support comfortably on my salary. My solici- 
 tvide for them naturally reaches beyond the 
 present moment, and calls for forethought and 
 scheming in order to protect them against the 
 possible needs of tlie future. The obligation 
 to provide for those of one's own house, which 
 St. Paul so forcibly urges, is one which I 
 keenly and constantly feel. How to make this 
 consistent with the business of my Father's 
 house is the problem wdth which I am con- 
 fronted. I must exercise the same patient de- 
 liberation in this matter that I am accustomed 
 to use in adjusting the apparently conflicting 
 accounts which baffle me in my book-keeping. 
 Fidelity to God and fidelity to man are both 
 20
 
 A Practicax Problem. 21 
 
 right, and, when properly conceived and de- 
 fined, cannot be at variance with each other. 
 A few points, at least, seem to me clear now. 
 
 First, I take it that for all that I am really 
 required to do in the way of spiritual work 
 there must be, somewhere, an opportunity. 
 If, after proper inquiry and experiment, none 
 can be found for any particular act or service, 
 I may make myself easy in the conclusion that 
 that is not required of me. 
 
 Second, Through the beneficent arrangement 
 of the divine law, I have secured to me one- 
 ' seventh of my time, through the recurrence of 
 the weekly Sabbath. A judicious use of this 
 season may be made to yield an abundant 
 opportunity for Christian labor, without divert- 
 ing it from its appointed end as a season of 
 sacred resting. The Sabbath, in enjoining rest, 
 does not proscribe activity. It recognizes the 
 fact that rest is not sluggishness, but the sensa- 
 tion of relief which one feels in passing from 
 one wholesome form of activity to another. 
 The mere shifting from the mind the burden of 
 weekly cares and responsibilities brings with 
 it a sensible infusion of freedom and exhilara- 
 tion to a jaded spirit. The hours devoted to 
 public and private worship are eminently rest- 
 ful in their influence. Tlie atmosphere of
 
 22 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 home-life is a delightful substitute for the 
 bustle and strife of the market and the factory. 
 And then the portion of the day which may 
 be given to out-door labor of a religious sort, 
 by its throwing the energy of mind and body 
 into new and interesting channels, may be made 
 to minister refreshment through what appears 
 to be toil. My Sabbaths, I am determined, 
 shall be harvest days. I see golden fruitage in 
 them. 
 
 And, third, I will "gather up the fragments," 
 husband the odd moments of my time. I will 
 pluck ears of grain as I plod on my daily er- 
 rands through the cornfields. A little incident 
 which befell me yesterday, trifling as the shak- 
 ing of a leaf on a mulberry tree, has taught me 
 that by vigilance and celerity an occasion may 
 be found for thrusting a good deed into those 
 interstices of time which are usiially so minute 
 as to be deemed incapable of being turned to 
 any useful account. 
 
 As I was leisurely returning from my dinner, 
 
 I met on street a little girl whom I knew 
 
 as a Sunday-school scholar. I stopped to take 
 her by the hand and ask after her family, when, 
 with the eagerness to tell news which is char- 
 acteristic of children, she said: "Mrs. S , 
 
 in there," pointing to an adjoining house, "is
 
 A Practical Problem. 23 
 
 very sick." Mrs. S was known to me as 
 
 a worthy widow woman who depended upon 
 her labor for the support of herself and two 
 young children. I looked at my watch, and 
 found that I had ten minutes to spare before I 
 was due at my office. I knocked at the door, 
 and, in answer to a feeble response, went in. 
 A moment's glance and a few inquiries were 
 enough to satisfy me thai the poor woman was^ 
 indeed, very sick, and that her needs were nu- 
 merous and urgent. I cheered her with a few 
 comforting words, and promised to send some 
 one to her relief. I hastened on my way, and 
 fortunately meeting a good lady, who, I knew, 
 was a member of one of our church associa- 
 tions, I reported the case to her, and arranged 
 for the immediate supply of all the sufferer's 
 wants. To-day, on my way to church, I called 
 and found a nurse at her bedside, a physician 
 in attendance, and an ample stock of provisions 
 in the house. I thought to myself, that little 
 blank of ten minutes was well filled up ; and 
 the sweepings of a man's time, as well as those 
 of the United States' mint, may be found to 
 contain particles of gold. 
 
 With the exercise of watchfulness in detect- 
 ing opportunities, and promptness in using 
 them, I am convinced many forms of Chris-
 
 24 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 tian work can be inserted into the stern routine 
 of the busiest life. Tlie eagerness with which 
 these cabmen, whom I see daily on the streets, 
 keep their eyes glancing from side to side, in 
 order to pick up a passenger, has often sug- 
 gested to me the reflection that, if we laborers 
 for God were half as zealous in our endeavors 
 to attract souls into his kingdom, we should be 
 able more frequently at the day's end to make 
 report to our Master of palpable proofs of our 
 fidelity in our calling. 
 
 O Lord, help me to be as careful in my 
 service of thee as I am in my efforts to fulfil 
 my obligations to my earthly employer!
 
 EXTRACT V. 
 
 .4 VICTORY. 
 
 August 16. — I feel to-night like making a 
 special record of my gratitude to God for the 
 aid he has given me in the performance of a 
 duty which, at first, was contemplated by me 
 with serious misgivings. I refer to the matter 
 of prayer in public. I cannot but regard the 
 degree to which I have overcome my reluctance 
 to engage in this exercise, and the command of 
 thoughts and words which I have acquired in 
 leading in it, as a gracious answer to my sup- 
 plications for divine aid in the discharge of my 
 office in this particular. It seems to me, as I 
 reflect upon it, that this gift, if I may humbly 
 call it such, means more than a single endow- 
 ment. It indicates a broadening and an eleva- 
 tion of the whole sphere of my spiritual being. 
 If it be fact as well as poetry, that " prayer is 
 the Christian's vital breath," it is not an un- 
 reasonable inference that an aptitude for prayer 
 is significant of an enlargement of the entire 
 religious life. As I analj-ze my experience, 
 it appears to me that prayer is intimately 
 associated with every stage of its progress. 
 St. James puts (chapter iv. 8) the two proposi- 
 25
 
 26 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 tions, "Draw nigli to God, and he will draw 
 nigli to yon," in as close a conjunction as that 
 of the two hemispheres of a globe. 
 
 Alter a long period of aberration from God, 
 through indifference, worldlinoss of mind, and 
 devotion to carnal gratification, I was led to 
 notice the fact that if God were a being co- 
 existent with me in the world, my course of 
 life had been a perpetual abandonment of him. 
 The thought startled me. It led to a study of 
 the claims of God to my faith, and to a con- 
 viction that he, and the religion which acknow- 
 ledged him, were tremendous realities. In a 
 dim sort of way, as of one seeing him afar off, 
 I had drawn nigh to God. It was a trembling 
 first step. I must get nearer; but in my con- 
 scious guilt I did not dare to approach him. 
 I felt my need of a healer of the breach — a 
 medium of access ; and I found this revealed 
 to me in the mission and work of our Lord 
 Jesus Christ. I then discovered a ground 
 upon which I could pray ; and I did pray, 
 and the prayer, based upon Christ's mediation, 
 brought me light, and peace, and assurance 
 that God had pardoned and accepted me ; and 
 thus I "drew nigh" to God, and he "drew 
 nigh " to me, in a reconciliation like that which 
 united the prodigal and his father. And I
 
 A YicTORY. 27 
 
 have found ever since, that my "fellowship 
 with the Father and the Sou" has beeu con- 
 current with the genuineness of my prayers. 
 
 I began my religious life thus, I may say, 
 with the impression that prayer was something 
 more than the begging of favors ; that it was a 
 mode of communiug with God — a process in 
 which there was a mutual drawing nigh be- 
 tween him and my soul. This impression, in 
 proportion as it was kept in operation, made 
 prayer a very serious and solemn exercise. It 
 overshadowed my spirit very sensibly with the 
 one great idea of the presence of God. It had 
 another effect : it produced what I might call 
 an abiding prayerful frame, out of which grew 
 a habit of mingling communing with God with 
 the continuous workings of my mind in its secret 
 recesses. It was a living, if I may so express 
 it, in constant touch of God, so that prayer 
 became an element in all breathing and acting, 
 although no outward sign revealed it. This 
 informal way of communing with God did not 
 abate, but I think rather increased the relish 
 with which I engaged in the more deliberate 
 devotions of tlie closet; and, I may add, gave 
 me an aptness in throwing my own mind into the 
 currents of public prayer, as offered by others. 
 
 These reflections upon my early religious
 
 28 Extracts from an Elder'h Diary. 
 
 life, saffused as they are with the recollection 
 of the warmth of a "first love," recall to me 
 sadly that I was derelict in one important par- 
 ticular, that of family worship. It was some 
 years after our marriage that my wife and I 
 connected ourselves with the church ; and dur- 
 ing that period it had not occl^rred to us that 
 we ought to sanctify our home-life by such a 
 practice. At our reception into the church the 
 duty was enjoined upon us by our pastor, and 
 for a time was observed by us. It was hard, 
 however, under the pressure of business en- 
 gagements and the cares of the household, to 
 keep up the practice with regularity, and ulti- 
 mately^ it was suspended. It has been resumed 
 now, never to be intermitted again. 
 
 The high conception I have entertained of 
 the augustness of prayer as communion with 
 God has, I think, affected me with a dread of 
 allowing a regard for the mere fitness of style 
 and structure to impair the devotional element 
 in the offering of public prayer. Hence, until 
 recently, I have persuaded myself that my ob- 
 jections were good, and have declined to par- 
 ticipate in the prayers at our Aveekly meetings. 
 In the nighness of my human hearers I fore- 
 saw, as I thought, a barrier to that nighness 
 between God and rayself that I felt was neces- 
 sary in prayer.
 
 A Victory. 29 
 
 After my induction into my office as elder, I 
 recognized that scruple, in this particular, was 
 standing in the way of an obvious duty. I 
 looked into my heart carefully, faced the ques- 
 tion conscientiously, and soon was cheered by 
 the conviction that private inclination had gone 
 over, largely, to the side of duty. I could say, 
 "Not as I will, but as thou wiliest." The only 
 point which embarrassed me now was the prac- 
 tical one. Am I able to do that which I am 
 willing to do? 
 
 The answer to this doubt came in the 
 thought — the grace which has wrought in me 
 " to will " can just as easily work in me "to do." 
 My next step was to bring my deficiency into 
 contact with the sufficiency which I knew to 
 be in God. I prayed alone that he wovild give 
 me the ability to pray before my fellowmen. I 
 told him my infirmity, and besought the aid 
 which should lift me above the gravitation of a 
 morbid self-consciousness and a distracting en- 
 vironment. I drew very nigh to him and asked 
 him not to let me lose the sense of my nighness 
 to him when I should attempt to open my lips 
 in the presence of a congregation. This step 
 brought additional strength. 
 
 My next one was to reflect that the opera- 
 tions of grace imply and include a cpi-respond-
 
 30 Extracts from ax Elder's Diary. 
 
 ing effort on the part of the subject of them to 
 sain the blessing which lie desires to have 
 given him. While "the preparation of the 
 heart in man is from the Lord," the bestowing 
 of it pre-supposes that the man who seeks it 
 has sought, to the best of his ability, to prepare 
 his heart for it. I seconded my appeals to 
 God, therefore, by striving to fix in my mind a 
 definite idea of what the purpose in a public 
 prayer should be, and what should properly be 
 the form of it. I said, it ought to voice, as far 
 as possible, the mind of the company in whose 
 stead and behalf it is uttered. It need not, and 
 generally ought not to, be long. It ought not 
 to be elaborate, or ambitious, or eccentric. It 
 ought not to aim at comprehending everything. 
 It ought to be regulated and modified by the 
 controlling thought, "I am speaking to God." 
 I did not attempt to compose prayers, but I 
 did endeavor to familiarize my mind -with the 
 material which ordinarily pertained to prayer, 
 and, to some extent, with the terms and phrases 
 which were suited to it. Eor this purpose I 
 studied carefully such published forms of prayer 
 as commended themselves to my judgment ; 
 and especially sought to gain some command 
 of the inimitable vocabulary of devotion con- 
 tained in the Holy Scriptures.
 
 ISfe 
 
 A Victory. 31 
 
 Having previously given mj consent, I was 
 spared the shock which might have been the 
 effect of an unexpected summons, when I was 
 first called upon to lead in prayer at our weekly 
 service ; and was gratified to find that with con - 
 siderable composure I was able to keep my 
 mind intent upon the few topics which suc- 
 ceeded one another in my brief effusion. I had 
 done my duty ; and I felt happier, especially 
 when, at the close of the meeting, a brother 
 took me by the hand and said, quietly, " Thank 
 you for that prayer!" 
 
 Since then I have come to realize that facility 
 in this exercise is itself an answer to prayer — a 
 thought which is adapted to give confidence to 
 the possessor of it, and at the same time make 
 him humble in the use of it. I am satisfied, 
 too, that this is a gift to be coveted as a means 
 of communicating good to others. A fit and 
 seasonable prayer often becomes the vehicle by 
 which some one's benumbed and crippled soul 
 is lifted out of its confusion, and enabled to feel 
 that its latent yearnings have been made clear, 
 and its dumb desires have become articulate, 
 through the sympathetic words of another. 
 
 God help me to appreciate the talent, in the 
 limited measure in which I have received it, 
 more and more, and to be ready to use it for 
 his glory as opportunity is offered to me !
 
 EXTEACT VI. 
 
 JSTEW CROSSES. 
 
 Sunday, October 1. — The past summer has 
 seen me pressing on in official experience and 
 acquaintance with the trials of presbyterial 
 
 service. During the absence of Dr. N , 
 
 our pastor, on his vacation, I have been re- 
 quired, on several occasions, to conduct the 
 weekly prayer-meeting. My first effort in this 
 line was attended by a perturbation of spirit 
 which, I am sure, if I had begun to cherish any 
 feeling of self-sufficiency, w^ould have taken it all 
 out of me. Nothing but the voice of conscience 
 reminding me that, as I had put my hand to 
 the plough, I could not consistently look back, 
 nerved me to undertake the formidable task. 
 
 Remembering a rule which I had adopted in 
 my secular operations, that in order to the do- 
 ing of anything I must first get a clear concep- 
 tion of tiie thing I had to do, I set before me, 
 as distinctly as I could, the object for which 
 our meeting was to be held. I then endeavored 
 to arrange the series of exercises so that each 
 should have a bearing upon this object. The 
 address, or lecture, was the part of the service 
 32
 
 New Crosses. 33 
 
 "which most appalled me, for I was neither "a 
 scribe learned in the law," nor a ready speaker. 
 However, by keeping; in mind that a simple 
 man must attempt only simple things, and by 
 looking to the Giver of wisdom for help, I 
 braced myself to the work. My wife, as we 
 reached the lecture-room, added her counsel: 
 *'Mj dear, now do be short." 
 
 After announcing one stirring hymn, I pro- 
 posed another, and the singing put the audi- 
 ence into a good frame of mind. A brother 
 who was accustomed to lead followed with a 
 fervent prayer. Another song and prayer kept 
 up the flame of interest, and by the time the 
 Scripture selections were to be read my hear- 
 ers were far more in the humor of devotion 
 than of criticism. I read from Luke, chapter 
 xix., the account of our Lord's visit to Zaccheus 
 at his house, and added several other passages 
 from the Old and New Testaments, in which 
 God appears as making special revelations of 
 his favor towards pious households. Without 
 any formal introduction, and withoiit an allu- 
 sion to myself as a novice in the art of exposi- 
 tion, I stated my subject, "The Presence of 
 Christ in the Home," and in my brief unfold- 
 ing of it I made three points : I^lrst, The ulti- 
 mate purpose of the family institution, the fur- 
 3
 
 34 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 nishing of subjects for the kingdom of God; 
 Seeo?i(I, The facilities afforded by it for this 
 end, in the varied jnotives, means, and oppor- 
 tunities for moulding character included in it; 
 and Third, The promises which assured us that 
 Christ was always ready to bring the efficiency 
 of his gracious presence to bless our efforts 
 where the doors of our homes were not closed 
 against him. I had but little to say in the am- 
 plification of these points, beyond sustaining 
 them by testimony drawn from Scripture, and 
 closed my remarks by the simple question, 
 " Brethren, is the kind of life which onr children, 
 our friends, our servants, are witnessing in our 
 homes such as would give them the impression 
 that Jesus is abiding there from day to day ? " 
 With a prayer and a hymn breathing the de- 
 sire that there might be more homes amongst 
 us in which the Saviour was always, as in the 
 house in Bethany, finding an open door and a 
 loving welcome, the service closed, and I went 
 home with little self-praise, but much praise to 
 God, in my heart. My subsequent efforts, 
 though never free from some embarrassment, 
 were, of course, less embarrassing. 
 
 A sorer trial, however, awaited me when, on 
 last Saturday, a note was received from the 
 senior elder, saying that as the supply expected
 
 New Crosses. 35 
 
 to fill our pulpit on the Sabbath had failed us, 
 and he was confined at home by sickness, he 
 particularly requested that I should conduct 
 the worship at the church on the following 
 day. I was staggered at the thought of oc- 
 cupying a position of such prominence, and 
 was disposed at once to pronounce the thing 
 impossible. Something kept me from putting 
 this response in writing. Something whis- 
 pered to my conscience that I had promised to 
 go work in any part of the Lord's vineyard in 
 which I might be needed. Something reminded 
 nie that my infirmities had been graciously 
 helped thus far in every case where I had 
 undertaken a difficult duty. Little by little, at 
 these suggestions, my reluctance gave way, and 
 my purpose was formed. The time was short, 
 the urgency of the case gave intensity to my 
 mental operations, and in a brief space the 
 whole order of services was mapped out. 
 Spurgeon, abbreviated, furnished me with a 
 sermon, and the aid of a brother elder was se- 
 cured for the devotional exercises. As I look 
 back to-night over the accomplished task, I 
 feel like drawing a long bre9,th, as one who 
 has crossed a perilous chasm on a frail bridge ; 
 and a passage which I read this morning from 
 the thirty-fourth Psalm, verses 4 and 5, occurs
 
 36 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 to me as a fit expression of my present emotions. 
 The good monitor at my side, in her discreet 
 way, has just remarked, "I trembled all over 
 when I saw you go into that pulpit. But I 
 believe I would be willing to see you go there 
 
 again
 
 EXT K ACT VI I. 
 
 PEA CEMA KING. 
 
 December 1. — The crookedness wbicli in- 
 heres in human nature, even after it has been 
 straightened by divine grace, I suppose, will 
 reveal itself in some form and in certain cases 
 in every body of Christians. The Saviour's 
 prayers, "Forgive us our trespasses," and 
 "Lead us not into temptation," seem to imply 
 that we are never to assume that we are exempt 
 from its operation. ' It is a vicious element left 
 clinging to our moral system, perhaps, to guard 
 us against the dangerous fancy that we are 
 already perfect ; or it may be intended to serve 
 as the resisting power, by conflict with which 
 our spiritual strength needs to be maintained 
 and developed. 
 
 I have to make confession that I myself, who 
 ought to be "an ensample to the flock," was 
 recently betrayed into an exhibition of this per- 
 verse principle, by which I have been deeply 
 humbled, although, I hope, ultimately benefited. 
 The apparently negligent misplacing of some 
 important mail-matter by a clerk at the post- 
 office had given me serious trouble, and led 
 37
 
 38 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 me, perhaps too sharply, to charge him with 
 his fault. He resented my reproof in a tone so 
 offensive that I repeated my charge in plainer 
 and more emphatic terms. This exasperated 
 him still more, and drew from him an abusive 
 denunciation of the church officers for some 
 ill-treatment of his wife, who was a member of 
 tilt church, in the matter of her "sitting." 
 This allegation I knew to be utterly ground- 
 less, and pronounced it so, and turned from 
 him, angry myself, and leaving him in a tempest 
 of passion. I chafed undei the irritation pro- 
 duced by this altercation, until gradually, as 
 the fever subsided, I awoke to a calm view of 
 the unseemly temper I had exhibited. I was 
 shocked at the attitude in which I had allowed 
 myself to be placed. I let the day pass, that 
 both parties might regain sobriety; and the 
 next morning addressed a note to my antago- 
 nist, in which, without an allusion to his part 
 in the affair, I deplored my own as hasty and 
 unbecoming my character as a Christian ; re- 
 tracted all objectionable language that I had 
 used, and expressed the hope that our former 
 friendly relations might not be interrupted by 
 my intemperate conduct. In a few hours a 
 reply came, frank in its tone and -jironouncing 
 the unpleasantness as at an end. Our inter-
 
 Peacemaking. 39 
 
 course has been cordial ever since, but I have 
 learned a lesson as to the duty of circumspect- 
 ness. 
 
 What I was thinking about, however, when 
 this incident came into mymind, was an effort 
 at peacemaking between two disaffected mem- 
 bers of our church, in which I was engaged 
 earLj this week. It was a case of discord be- 
 tween husband and wife. They were plain 
 people, but respectable for their decent and 
 regular lives. The woman had ceased for 
 some time to attend worship, and upon the 
 fact being mentioned on some occasion by our 
 pastor to the husband, he had revealed to him 
 that a "root of bitterness" had sprung up in 
 their home in the shape of dissension, and that 
 his wife, in consequence, had carried her " con- 
 trariness," as he called it, to the point of 
 refusing fellowship with him in going to the 
 house of God. " I don't know what to do with 
 her," was the poor man's lament. "She will 
 not let me talk to her. I wish you would come 
 and set us to rights." A time was fixed upon 
 
 for a visit, and Dr. N , not a little to my 
 
 alarm, summoned me to go with him, "as a 
 silent partner," I remarked, in consenting. 
 
 Our greeting of the pair when they made 
 their appearance was specially cordial, and a
 
 40 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 little time was given to the usual common- 
 places of courtesy. At length Dr. N , in 
 
 the kindest of tones, remarked: "You have not 
 
 been well, Mrs. A . I have missed you 
 
 from several of our last meetings." 
 
 "Well — yes — not sick exactly," she replied, 
 in a hesitating way, " but ," then stopped. 
 
 "It has not been trouble of mind, T hope?" 
 inquired the doctor. 
 
 "Yes, sir," she replied, in a passionate ex- 
 plosion, "yes, sir, and worse than that; it has 
 been trouble of heart." 
 
 "My dear madam, you distress me deeply," 
 said the doctor. "What is the matter?" 
 
 "Ask hha! ask him!" was her reply, point- 
 ing to her husband. 
 
 The doctor's eye turned to the latter, who, 
 with a good deal of emotion in his voice, stam- 
 mered out: "Dr. N , you are our pastor, 
 
 and have always been our friend. I will tell 
 you the truth, and I beg you to help us if you 
 can. I don't want to speak against Susan. She 
 has been a good wife to me, and maybe I have 
 done wrong by her. We disagreed about the 
 bringing- up of our daughter. She is just fif- 
 teen years old, you know, and is her mother's 
 pride. She has let her stop school, and go to 
 parties, and drive out with young men — and —
 
 Peacemaking. 41 
 
 iand " and here he, too, broke down. In a 
 
 moment he added : "It is jealoiisy for the girl. 
 She says I love the boy best ; but God knows 
 I love them both, and their mother, too, as I 
 love my own soul!" 
 
 The scene was becoming affecting. I ven- 
 tured to interpose, in a cheerful way, "Why, 
 this IS only the old story of what occurs, I sus- 
 pect, in nearly all families. Wife and I have 
 more discussions over the management of our 
 children than over anything else; but we know 
 that we botli love them and desire their good, 
 and, when we differ, we talk kindly over our 
 respective methods, and J)ray over them, too, 
 and soon come to an agreement. Perhaps you 
 
 and Mrs. A have not prayed enough 
 
 over this matter." 
 
 "I could not pray," sobbed the woman, "I 
 was so hurt!" 
 
 "I propose that Dr. N pray now," I 
 
 said, and, b}^ a common impulse, we all fell on 
 our knees, and the doctor did pray, and prayed 
 with a heart in fullest sympathy with the dis- 
 tressed couple, and, it seemed to me, in very 
 unison with the pity felt for them by a sympa- 
 thizing Saviour. 
 
 When we rose, the doctor, in a clear, quiet 
 way, said, "I see it all now. You both love
 
 4:2 Extracts fijom an Elder's Diary. 
 
 this dear child, and your love has made you, in 
 the one case, too indulgent, and in the other, 
 perhaps, too strict. You both desire her wel- 
 fare. Let me tell you that you cannot do her 
 a worse wrong than to let discord enter your 
 home. The Spirit of God flies from the abodes 
 of strife. It seems to me, madam, that your 
 husband is right in wishing Annie to remain a 
 school-girl for at least another year, and to fa- 
 miliarize herself with household avocations; 
 and you, perhaps, have been too impatient 
 under opposition to your views. Think it all 
 over, and I am sure you will see that I am 
 right." 
 
 Tears were running down the man's cheeks, 
 and the woman, with a bowed head, murmured, 
 as if to herself, "I have been very wicked — 
 very wicked ! " 
 
 "Where is Annie? Cannot I see her?" asked 
 the doctor ; and it was a relief when the mother 
 left us to call her. 
 
 The doctor took the girl gently by the hand, 
 upon her entering, and said: "My child, I bap- 
 tized you when your parents gave you to the 
 Lord. Promise me that you will obey them, 
 and do all that you can for their comfort." 
 
 She replied, "I will," and then the doctor 
 added: "Now, I want to see you all at our
 
 Peacemaking. 43 
 
 prayer-meeting to-morrow night ; and, besides, 
 I have a special invitation to you all from Mrs. 
 N that you will be present at a little re- 
 ception we are to have at the manse on nc^xt 
 Tuesday evening, the twentieth anniversary of 
 our marriage." 
 
 There was a perceptible brightness in the 
 aspect of the group as we left them ; and my 
 companion ejaculated, as we reached the street, 
 "God make our words as the precious oint- 
 ment of Aaron!"
 
 EXTRACT VIII. 
 
 THE PRESBYTERY. 
 
 April 10, 1866. — I returned last night from 
 a five days' absence, in attendance upon the 
 spring meeting of presbytery, as the repre- 
 sentative of our church. It cost me consid- 
 erable effort, and some inconvenience, to leave 
 home and business, but the desire of the ses- 
 sion that I should go was so urgent, and was 
 so enforced by the consideration that my re- 
 fusal would bring upon the church the reproach 
 of having to report "no elder present," that I 
 stifled all objections and made ni}' arrange- 
 ments to go. I am thankful now that I did go. 
 
 The anticipation of the mission at once 
 brought to my consciousness the fact that I 
 was woefully deficient in my knowledge of 
 church order and parliamentary law. I set to 
 work diligently to inform myself on these sub- 
 jects. I conferred, also, with our pastor in 
 regard to the business, ordinary and special, 
 which might be expected to claim the attention 
 of presbytery. So, trained and drilled, I made 
 my appearance in time for the opening service, 
 44
 
 The Presbytery. 45 
 
 at W , a neat little railroad town, where 
 
 some capitalists had established a cotton fac- 
 tory, which gave employment to a large portion 
 of the inhabitants. 
 
 My feeling of strangeness soon wore off before 
 the cordial reception accorded me from every 
 quarter. Not iinfrequently I was addressed by 
 the term " brother." The initial services were 
 impressive, and the sermon by the venerable 
 
 Mr. B , the last moderator, from John 
 
 XV. 8, tracing the duty of fruitfulness on the 
 part of believers to the love bestowed upon 
 them in the work of him who could call God 
 his " Father," and the grace conferred upon 
 them in permitting and enabling them to 
 "glorify" this Father, was a forcible appeal 
 for consecration to all the followers of the 
 Lord Jesus Christ. 
 
 In constituting the presbytery, to my dis- 
 may I heard my name nominated for the office 
 of Temporary Clerk. The nomination, I ob- 
 served, came from one of the junior members 
 
 of the body. My good patron. Dr. N , 
 
 catching my look of embarrassment, rose and 
 stated that he feared this custom of thrusting 
 an office, of which they knew nothing, upcm 
 new recruits had in it more of the mischief- 
 loving humor of the college boys' custom ot
 
 46 ExTRAcrj's from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 " hazing " than of the regard for expediency 
 and decorum which should characterize an 
 ecclesiastical court, and moved that I should 
 be excused, and somebody else, whom he 
 named, be put in my place. The proposition 
 was carried. In the appointment of commit- 
 tees, I found I was assigned to several places; 
 and I was glad, in this capacity, to render some 
 service in the prosecution of the business of the 
 body. The impressions I have brought away 
 from this first attendance upon a church 
 congress of this kind have been altogether 
 pleasant. 
 
 First, It was pleasant to find myself, for 
 a series of days, in a purely religious atmos- 
 phere, from which the gross disturbances of 
 worldly pursuits and competitions were ban- 
 ished, and where good-will and Christian love 
 beamed in every face and spake in every utter- 
 ance. 
 
 Second, The half-hour morning prayer-meet- 
 ings were refreshing seasons, in which a 
 heavenly dew, which proved to be manna, fell 
 upon the opening of each day ; and the sermons 
 at night seemed to grow better as they suc- 
 ceeded one another, perhaps from the quick- 
 ened appetite of those who came to hear them. 
 The sacramental service on the Sabbath morn-
 
 The Presbytery. 47 
 
 ing, with a Sunday-school meeting in the after- 
 noon, and an eloquent sermon at night, made 
 this last day of the feast a golden one. 
 
 Third, I was struck with the good humor — I 
 might call it, in some instances, hilarity — which 
 characterized the intercourse of the clerical part 
 of our bod3\ The cordiality of their greetings, 
 and the ringing laughter which often attended 
 their colloquies, convinced me that the phrase 
 "sour-faced Presbyterians" was a slander, grow- 
 ing, most probably, out of the mur- minded ness 
 of the critics who used it. 
 
 Fourth, I gained an immense amount of in- 
 formation in regard to the methods and results 
 of the working of our church, and an enlarged 
 conviction, I trust, of the duty of Christians 
 devoting more thought, prayer, and money to 
 the support of evangelical enterprises. The 
 work done is a success, like one of those clear- 
 ings which I often met with on my journey to 
 
 W , showing cultivated gaps in the forest, 
 
 but revealing, each one, the immense stretches 
 of timber land yet to be subdued. 
 
 Fifth, One of the pleasantest recollections 
 that I retain is that of my intercourse with 
 the hospitable family among whom I found 
 my home. The household consisted of Mrs. 
 H , a lady of commanding person, from
 
 48 Extracts fuom an Elder's Diary. 
 
 which all uncomfortable stateliness was re- 
 moved, and with a sweet aspect, in which 
 dignity was softened by kindness ; her three 
 daughters, two of whom were grown, while the 
 third was a merry school-girl, and two sons, 
 both holding positions in the cotton mills. All 
 were professed Christians except the younger 
 son and "Babe," as they still called the 
 youngest girl. They were staunch Presby- 
 terians, and knew why they were so ; and were 
 zealous and intelligent supporters of the church, 
 who, through their familiarity with the religious 
 papers and periodicals, kept themselves abreast 
 with its movements. I regard it as a special 
 blessing to have been associated with such a 
 family, and to have witnessed, as I am sure I 
 have done, the power of religion to add a 
 charm distinctively its own to natural beauty 
 and to cultivated grace. 
 
 Sixth, One thing more I must not overlook. 
 
 My fellow-lodger at Mrs. H 's was the 
 
 Kev. Mr. McW , a young minister, who 
 
 is laboring in a frontier district of our presby- 
 tery. Frequent conversations with him have 
 stirred my heart with new emotions of admira- 
 tion for, and sympathy with, the noble and 
 self-denying work of these home missionaries. 
 That young evangelist has been to me almost a
 
 The Presbyteby. 49 
 
 new revelation of the spirit of Christianity. 
 He has convinced me that apostolic zeal and 
 heroism are not dead. If ever I fail in time to 
 come to speak a word in defence of the class to 
 which he belongs, or to give of my substance 
 for their support, "let my tongue cleave to the 
 roof of my mouth, and my right hand forget 
 her cunning."
 
 EXTRACT IX. 
 
 AJ^ INQUTRER. 
 
 Sunday, Septemljer 2. — To-day I have had to 
 undertake a duty of a kind so serious and deli- 
 cate that I have always shrunk from it. It is that 
 of guiding a soul to Christ. To speak, in general 
 terms, of the claims of Christ to the confidence 
 and love of men ; to explain, generally, the 
 way of salvation through faith in his name, or 
 to urge men, generally, to embrace this salva- 
 tion, has not seemed difficult, nor have I hesi- 
 tated to attempt it, in mj" poor way, as the op- 
 portunity has been given me. But to sit alone 
 with an anxious inquirer, to see him struggling 
 with a distress which, perhaps, he is unable to 
 explain, and groping after a deliverance which 
 he cannot discover ; to unravel the complexity 
 of his spiritual condition, and apply the balm 
 which is needed for his heart's sore — this has 
 seemed to me an exercise of tact and wisdom 
 of which I was incapable. I have been dis- 
 posed — as, I suppose, most private Christians 
 are when such cases are brought to their no- 
 tice — to say, "Let us go talk with the minis- 
 50
 
 Ax IXQUIKEK. 51 
 
 ter." Ill the appeal which was made to me to- 
 daj I could not do this. 
 
 I had hardly got seated in my library, after 
 returning from the morning's service, when S. 
 
 W , a young man whom I knew xevy 
 
 well, was shown into the room, and addressed 
 
 me abruptly : " Mr. B , I want to talk 
 
 with you; I want you to pray for me!" 
 
 His look and voice betrayed some deep emo- 
 tion, and his language, of course, let me see 
 that it was of a religious nature. I took him 
 by the hand, and said to him, "My dear 
 
 S — , sit down ; be composed, and let us 
 
 talk a while. What is it that is so troubling 
 you?" 
 
 "Oh!" he said, "that sermon this morn- 
 ing! It seemed to show me that I have been 
 all wrong when I thought that I was all right. 
 "What am I to do with Jesus which is called 
 Christ? What have I been doing with him? 
 I feel more than ever that I need religion, and 
 yet there is something here in religion which I 
 have not understood. What am I to do with 
 Jesus? And what has Jesus to do with me?" 
 
 The text had been Pilate's inquiry, in Mat- 
 thew xxvii. 22. 
 
 "This is not a sudden feeling with you? 
 You have been convinced of your need of re- 
 ligion before?" I said, inquiringly.
 
 52 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 "Oh! yes," be replied. "You know how re- 
 ligiously I was brought up. The impressions 
 of my early years have never been lost. The 
 example of my father and mother, too, always 
 kept me from questioning the reality and value 
 of religion when sceptical suggestions occurred 
 to me, or were made to me by others. When 
 a boy, I tried to be, and was, I suppose, as the 
 term goes, a 'good boy.' When I grew up, and 
 went into business, I carried with me a tender 
 conscience, for which I have often been ridi- 
 culed, and I kept constantly in mind the dis- 
 tinction between right and wrong. I was de- 
 termined that my employers should find no 
 fault with me, and they never have done so. 
 When I went into society, of which I have 
 been very fond, I did not abandon my reli- 
 gious habits, as I regarded them; but found 
 that my desire to please my companions and 
 my aversion to appearing singular led me often 
 into compliance with practices which I could 
 not justify to myself when the excitemept was 
 over. I have a thousand times said to myself, 
 this plan upon which I am living, if there is 
 any religion in it, is giving me neither strength 
 nor comfort. This conviction has troubled me 
 fearfully of late, and it was in my mind when 
 I went to church this morninc:. As Dr. N
 
 An Inquirer. 55 
 
 proceeded with his sermon and made some of 
 his sharp applications, the thought occurred to 
 me, almost like a flash, may not this be the 
 difl&culty with me? I have not done what I 
 ought to have done with Jesus. Passages 
 from the Bible about Jesus, which I had been 
 reading all my life without any distinct impres- 
 sion of their meaning, now came crowding 
 upon me with a clearness and a force which 
 they had never had before. The way that I 
 had been treading seemed to become all dark ; 
 the way that I needed to take seemed all dark, 
 too ; and in my bewilderment I have come to 
 you, for I have confidence in yoiir religion, to 
 ask you to instruct and advise me." 
 
 He paused, and looked at me with an exhausted 
 expression, for he had said much more than I can 
 recall. His heart was full, and he had poured 
 it out with a remarkable degree of coherency 
 and fluency. I thought of the story of the young 
 man in Matthew xix. 16-23, and quietly read 
 it to him. "Don't you see," I added, "that 
 this young man was taking no account of sin, 
 as an obstacle in the way of eternal life, in his 
 idea of religion? He would earn eternal life 
 by the doing of good things. 11 is disquietude 
 of mind was due, not to any doubt as to the 
 reality of his obedience as a means of gaining
 
 54 Extracts from an Eldeii's Diary. 
 
 it, but to a fear that the tneasure of that obedi- 
 ence might he defective. 'What lack I yet?' he 
 asks, 'what good more ought I to do?' The 
 Saviour teaches him that obedience, to be 
 genuine, must admit no gradations of less or 
 more. It must be a total conformity to the 
 law of God — such as would make a rich man 
 willing to sell all that he possessed and give 
 the proceeds to the poor, if such a command 
 were laid upon him. A religion based upon 
 obedience must show an obedience which is 
 entire. It must spring from the heart of a 
 man and pervade his whole inner and outer 
 life. It must have in it no weakness of will, 
 no inconstancy of action or affection. Oh ! my 
 friend, what mortal man can abide snch a test ? 
 The young man could not, and you and I cannot. 
 Our obedience is rotten at the very base, and our 
 deviations and omissions, on one side or another, 
 are perpetually revealing our weakness and dis- 
 turbing our peace. All such deviations and omis- 
 sions are departures from righteousness, or evi- 
 dences of a sinful nature expressing itself in sinful 
 acts. Now, here is where ' Jesus which is called 
 Christ ' has something, or rather everything, to 
 do for us and with us. Read your New Testa- 
 ment and you will see that his whole work is 
 for sinners and with sinners. Hear St. Paul
 
 An Inquirer, 55 
 
 proclaiming his view of the gospel, ' This is a 
 faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, 
 that Christ Jesus came into the world to save 
 sinners.' Do you not see a meaning in this 
 passage, and in a hundred others like it, which, 
 perhaps, has never been disclosed to you 
 before ? Where your efforts at obedience to 
 the law of God have left you Jesus finds you ; 
 that is, in the position of a sinner, and he 
 offers to put you in the position which you 
 have been vainly seeking by your previous 
 effort, that is, that of a righteous man in the 
 sight of God. To this end he says, 'believe 
 in me, trust in me, come to me. Put my work 
 in the place of yoar old self and its work, and 
 find the ground of your salvation in me and 
 my work as you once did in your supposed 
 obedience.' " i 
 
 Here my hearer, who had been listening 
 with rapt attention while I had talked, broke 
 in with the remark, " This faith perplexes me ! 
 I surely believe in Christ. I have always done 
 so. I have tried to get my ideas of religion 
 from him as an infalHble teacher." 
 
 "You have believed in him as a teacher," I 
 replied, " but have you believed in him as a 
 Saviour from sin ? You have believed in him 
 as Nicodemus did when he said, * we know that
 
 5G Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 thou art a teacher come from God,' but have 
 you believed in him as Peter did, when, with 
 the waters giving way under his feet, he cried, 
 'Lord, save me'? " 
 
 He had almost a startled look as I asked 
 these questions, and an embarrassed one at the 
 same time. 
 
 "Let me explain what I mean," I continued. 
 " Ton have been on a long strain of mind this 
 morning. I can see that you are physically 
 exhausted. You Avant refreshment. There, in 
 the next room is my table, spread with our 
 Sunday dinner. I shall ask you, directly, to 
 go in with me and share our meal, You will 
 believe in the actual existence of the articles of 
 food you see, in their wholesome properties, 
 and in their capacity to relieve faintness and 
 hunger; but if you do not believe in the sense 
 of using these articles, appropriating them and 
 incorporating them into your own personality, 
 your faith will, certainly, bring you no relief. 
 Now, Jesus offers himself to men as ' the bread 
 of God which came down from heaven and 
 giveth life unto the world.' The faith which 
 the presentation of bread requires is a faith 
 which applies it as food, which stretches forth 
 the hand and takes and eats it. In such a 
 way, in believing in Jesus, we bring our needs.
 
 An Inquirer. 57 
 
 our sins, our emptiness and our guilt to him, 
 and rel}' upon his grace and power to relieve 
 
 and remove them. S ," I said to him, 
 
 solemnl}^ for I felt the occasion to be an in- 
 tensely solemn one, " are jou hungering after 
 peace with God, the pardon of sin, and the 
 possession of a truly religious or holy na- 
 ture?" 
 
 He said, "I am sure I am! " 
 
 "Do you see in Christ the bread which God 
 has provided to meet this hunger?" 
 
 " It seems all clear to me now," was his re- 
 ply. 
 
 "Then take, and eat, and live forever!" I 
 said, springing to my feet in my emotion ; and 
 he, wdth a similar motion and a beaming coun- 
 tenance, responded, "I will; I do!" 
 
 "Now, let us pray," I said; and with such 
 sympathy with him as took his soul into union 
 with my own, I commended him to God as one 
 new-born into his family, and besought for him 
 the nurture of the Holy Spirit, that he might 
 be kept in all time to come, building upon 
 Jesus as the foundation of his religion, and 
 feeding upon him as the bread of God. 
 
 He declined, of course, my invitation to 
 dine ; and we parted at the door, almost in 
 silence, undfer the consciousness, on both sides,
 
 58 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 that a great eveut had transpired in the his- 
 tory of a human soul. My confidence in it, 
 that it was a real transaction, was founded, not 
 so much on the excitement produced by the 
 sermon to which my young friend had listened, 
 as upon the training he had received, the reli- 
 gions experimenting through which he had 
 passed, and the evident sincerity and eager- 
 ness of desire for light and relief which his 
 previous disappointment had inspired. 
 
 I saw him again, for a moment, at the close 
 of service to-night, and as I clasped his hand, 
 and said, in a low tone, "Is Jesus still the way, 
 the truth and the life?" the warm pressure 
 he gave me, and the bright expression of his 
 countenance were the satisfactory reply.
 
 EXTRACT X. 
 
 THE SABBATII-SCIIOOL. 
 
 Simday, Noveviljer 10. — I am satisfied that 
 the Sabbath -school will present itself to a 
 thoughtful elder of a church as a legitimate 
 and important part of his domain, and that, in 
 some direction, he will give it a portion of his 
 attention. It is a modern institution only in 
 the sense of being a means of giving religious 
 instruction to the young and ignorant of a 
 community generally, or irrespective of their 
 relation to a church. Immemorially, the chil- 
 dren of the church, as all the children of com- 
 municants, who had received baptism, were 
 assumed to be, were placed under a course of 
 training in order that they might be prepared, 
 at a suitable age, to ratify their church rela- 
 tionship by coming intelligeuth' and heartily 
 to the communion. They formed a class of 
 catechumens. Uubaptized applicants for mem- 
 bership in the church were placed in the same 
 or a similar class. The school, therefore, may 
 be said to have existed always ; although, as it 
 was not necessarily, nor perhaps commonly, 
 confined to the Sabbath as the time for con- 
 59
 
 .60 Extracts from an Elder's ])iary. 
 
 ducting it, it was not called a Sahhath-achool. 
 Raikes, and the other founders of the modern 
 Sabbath-school, undertook to bring the out- 
 lying masses of children who had none to 
 christianize them under the influence of re- 
 ligious culture by bringing them together on 
 the Sabbath, as a day on which they were 
 exempt from worldly labor, for the purpose of 
 receiving instruction. The work was a good 
 one, and in the line of the church's duty, and 
 church officers and members largely engaged 
 in it. Ultimately, and perhaps gradually, the 
 church-school has become absorbed in the 
 Sabbath-school, as the function of the latter 
 seemed to be akin to that of the former. To 
 my mind, this delegation of the oversight of 
 its catechumens has been an unfortunate one. 
 But, inasmuch as it has taken place, it be- 
 hooves those who have the charge of the Sab- 
 bath-school to make it as efficient as possible 
 in supplying the culture which the church owes 
 to its baptized children, and the unenlightened 
 candidates for membership in it. As an officer 
 of the church, therefore, I feel that the Sabbath- 
 school has a special claim upon my services. 
 
 For several years I have been a teacher in 
 our Sabbath-school, and have found the work 
 increasingly pleasant. I have taught classes
 
 The Sabbath- School. 61 
 
 of both boys and girls, and have discovered 
 equal points of attraction in each. I have 
 thought, studied, and prayed hard that I might 
 acquire the art of winning these young souls 
 to myself, in order that I might win them to 
 Christ. I have aimed, first, to impress them 
 with the belief that I felt a personal interest in 
 each one of them, and then to make them feel 
 at ease with me, without losing their respect. 
 There is such a thing, I am convinced, as an 
 organic tie which may be established between 
 a Sunday-school teacher and his class, under 
 the prompting of which the teacher may, with 
 a special fondness, say, "my class," and the 
 pupil, in the same spirit, may say, "my 
 teacher.'' This tie 1 have sought to cultivate, 
 and to connect the sentiment which it implies 
 with the practical purpose of giving to my 
 scholars the knowledge of God, in order that 
 they might serve him. Without assuming anj' 
 special austerity of manner, I have endeavored 
 to impress my class with the idea that in the 
 school-room they were as much in the house 
 of God as in the church ; and that my business 
 is to teach them the religion of the Bible, and 
 to persuade them to practice it, as much as it 
 is the minister's. Every now and then I have 
 been accustomed to bring to them some one of
 
 62 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 the many passages of the Scripture in which 
 the gospel is epitomized, as if I had found a 
 fresh treasure, and set them to commit it to 
 memory and recite it to me. I require each 
 scholar on entering my class to learn and 
 repeat 1 Chronicles xx^dii. 9, as a sort of ma- 
 triculating rite. I think my methods have not 
 been without fruits, for during my teacher-days 
 I have had the joy of seeing some score of 
 pupils connect themselves with the church. 
 
 I am revolving these reflections to-night, be- 
 cause my teacher-days are ended, at least for a 
 season. I have been chosen by the teachers, 
 and appointed by the session, to the office of 
 superintendent of our school. This may be 
 promotion and an enlargement of influence, 
 but I foresee in it a serious curtailment of en- 
 joyment. I must cease to use and to hear the 
 terms which have become dear as household 
 words to me — " my class," " my teacher." I 
 must act now very much through other hands. 
 I want to get a definite conception of the work 
 I am to do in my new position. 
 
 Certainly, believing, as I do, that the Sab- 
 bath-school's right to exist lies in its being an 
 organic factor of the church, its function must 
 be that which the Lord assigned to his church 
 when he said to the founders of it, " Go, make
 
 The Sabbath-School. 63 
 
 disciples of all nations; teaching them to ob- 
 serve all things whatsoever I have commanded 
 you." It must be a teaching institute, like the 
 church. It must be a branch of the church, 
 vitalized by the same principle, and aiming, in 
 all its details, to produce the same result, that 
 is, the making of disciples of Christ. What the 
 preacher and pastor does in his higher sphere, 
 as the instructor of a congregation, the Sunday- 
 school teacher is expected to do in a lower one. 
 He must be the bearer of religious truth to the 
 children of a community, ministering the bread 
 of life to those who come from homes where 
 there are none able or disposed to give it to 
 them. 
 
 I am glad to feel that in undertaking the 
 charge of this school I am not engaging in a 
 work which is collateral to, or independent of, 
 that of the church, but one which is normally 
 identical with this, so that I shall be laboring 
 side by side with our minister in the spiritual 
 culture of this field. I shall encourage myself 
 by the assurance that I can claim for the work 
 of this school all the aid and support which 
 Christ has promised to grant to the work of his 
 church. 
 
 If, now, I can secure — which I shall endea- 
 vor to do — a concentration of spirit and effort
 
 64 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 on the part of my teachers, in the fixing in 
 these young minds of right ideas of Christ and 
 his rehgion, I may hope to make of our school 
 an efficient arm of the church, and may safely 
 leave much, as to the methods of instruction 
 employed in particular cases, to the discretion 
 of the teachers. 
 
 May the Lord, who has laid this new burden 
 upon me, so guide me in the bearing of it that 
 I may have the joy of gathering many sheaves 
 for his garner out of this interesting harvest- 
 field!
 
 EXTRACT XL 
 
 A REVIVAL. 
 
 Su?iday, Decemher, 1873. — Our church and 
 community have been signally blessed during 
 the last six months, with what, I think, may 
 safely be called a genuine revival of religion. 
 An interest, amounting to a profound concern, 
 in regard to personal religion, has prevailed to 
 a degree which has made the fact phenomenal. 
 It seems to me that the methods have been 
 legitimate, and that everything extraneous to 
 the simple operation of the truth and the Spirit 
 of God have been excluded. Faithful preach- 
 ing we have always had, and I believe faithful 
 Sabbath-school instruction. Family training 
 has been pretty well observed in our congrega- 
 tion, and the testimony of consistent living, on 
 the part of a good portion of our members, has 
 not been lacking. These have not been without 
 their results. But special, as well as ordinary, 
 manifestations of the Spirit's power, I am sat- 
 isfied, we are warranted by the Scriptures to 
 expect and pray for. He who, like the wind, 
 works as he listeth, may evince his presence by 
 the measure, as well as by the form, in which 
 65
 
 66 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 his agency is demonstrated. Nations may be 
 spiritually born in a day as well as men. 
 
 Early in the last summer certain persons in 
 our various denominations were led to confer 
 in regard to an effort to awaken thoughtfulness 
 on the part of our people to the claims of Christ 
 to their faith and obedience, and a resolution 
 was adopted to open a daily union prayer- 
 meeting, at an hour preceding the business 
 period of the day, in the lecture-room of our- 
 church, which was central and accessible. It 
 was to be under the control of leading laymen 
 of the different churches. No speakers were 
 invited from abroad. Our clergymen were 
 asked to give their presence and aid, exactly 
 as other attendants were expected to do. No 
 unusual services were announced ; no choirs 
 were collected and trained; no extraordinary 
 attractions were introduced or advertised. 
 
 After notice given in the various pulpits, 
 the meetings commenced on a Monday morn- 
 ing in May last. They were limited to an 
 hour. From the start they were well attended, 
 and the congregations -grew from da}' to day. 
 Leaders from the different churches, chosen 
 by the committee who had the movement in 
 charge, presided in succession. They seemed 
 to be singularly gifted in the way of ordering
 
 A Keyival. 67 
 
 the exercises and their expositions of the word 
 of God. They kept the tide of thought and 
 feeling moving without a pause, calling for 
 prayers and counsels from particular persons 
 and opening the door for voluntary remarks as 
 any one present was disposed to make them. 
 The hours passed pleasantly and rapidly, and 
 there were few who had beeii induced to be 
 present on one occasion who did not feel 
 moved to come again. 
 
 It soon became apparent that these meetings 
 were having an influence upon the public mind. 
 Multitudes resorted to them who had previously 
 shown no relish for religious exercises. Men 
 who had, heretofore, been fixed in their indif- 
 ference, or who had stifled their convictions of 
 duty, now felt a fascination which brought 
 them, wdtli anxious faces and unvarying regu- 
 larity, to the house of prayer. A mysterious 
 power, counteracting the power of worldly 
 things, had gone forth into the community. 
 Religion might almost have been said to have 
 become a theme of popular discussion. Chris- 
 tians were emboldened to propose it, and in- 
 quirers were found on every hand to confess 
 their willingness to receive instruction. In 
 several instances it occurred that persons, at 
 the time when free remarks were called for,
 
 68 EXTKACTS FROM AN ElDEK's DiARY. 
 
 rose and asked for the prayers of the meeting. 
 No demonstrations of this kind were solicited, 
 and no adjuncts in the way of stimulants to 
 feeling, or tests of purpose, were emplo^-ed. 
 Whatever personal influence was used to per- 
 suade men to embrace religion was used in 
 private conference. That a work so evidently 
 deep and wide-spread should go on so quietly 
 was a marvel. 
 
 The interest in our own congregation became 
 
 so extensive that Dr. N , in order to meet 
 
 the craving for instruction which accompanied 
 it, appointed a short daily evening service, in 
 which he might adapt his teachings to the dis- 
 covered needs of his own flock; and at the 
 close of this, he, with the session, engaged in 
 conversation with such as desired counsel. 
 Many touching incidents attended these inter- 
 views. Later on, the session commenced hold- 
 ing meetings frequently, for the purpose of re- 
 ceiving the profession of those who gave evi- 
 dence of entertaining a true faith in Christ. 
 There was no hurry, no confusion, in this me- 
 thod. 
 
 These daily meetings were kept up through 
 the summer. The result has been a decided 
 lifting-up of the tone of the religious life among 
 God's people, and the addition to the member-
 
 A Kevival. 69 
 
 ship of our church of about one hundred and 
 twenty souls, and there is every reason to be- 
 lieve that in most of these latter cases the con- 
 version has been a radical one. 
 
 One of the remarkable things about this 
 movement is the impression which has been 
 made upon that portion of the community 
 which has not come under its direct influence. 
 There is a silent recognition of a fact which 
 seems to be too patent to be pronounced un- 
 real, although the nature of it is inexplicable 
 to these observers. We hear no words of ridi- 
 cule, no charges of fanaticism, no questioning 
 of the sincerity or the intelligence of those who 
 have professed repentance for sin and faith iu 
 a Saviour. The unexpressed conviction of the 
 onlooking crowd, if put into words, would be, 
 "This is the Lord's doing; it is marvellous iu 
 our eyes!" 
 
 Such a season of grace, permitting God's chil- 
 dren on earth to share something of the joy of the 
 ^ angels in heaven over sinners repenting, calls, it 
 seems to me, for some serious reflections. 
 
 First, There is danger in the spiritual sphere, 
 as well as in the na,tural one, that a rich harvest 
 may invite to indulgence in rest, and a release 
 from the obligation to labor. God has wrought 
 so wonderfully for us, the sophistry of our car-
 
 70 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 hal nature may suggest, that there is no neces- 
 sity, at least for the present, for our working. 
 I must guard against this fallacy and put our 
 people on their guard against it. 
 
 Second, The true view, certainly, is that 
 grace, in showing us the ground of our salva- 
 tion in Christ's work, instead of absolving the 
 recipient from working, furnishes him with a 
 new and special incentive and encouragement 
 to work. The seasons of langour which, it is 
 said, often succeed revivals of religion, ought 
 not to occur. They are a reversal of the order 
 of God's economy. Grace is in order to life 
 and activity. 
 
 Third, These new converts, many of them 
 young, who have come into our Christian family, 
 will need parental care and nurture at the hands 
 of the church. It is a gross inconsistency and 
 an unnatural cruelty to rejoice over a new-born 
 soul and then leave it to starve. These tender 
 plants must be watched, and nourished, and 
 trained ; and here I see a large future work for 
 the officers of the church and its maturer mem- 
 bers. The wisdom of a Solomon in the edifica- 
 tion of the structure, added to the zeal of a 
 David in the gathering of the material, may 
 issue in the rearing of a permanent and glorious 
 temple. And,
 
 A Eevival. 71 
 
 Fourth, A revival in a church is illusory if 
 it does not produce a manifest and abiding 
 elevation in tbe scale of piety in the whole 
 body. The quickening or reviving of a church 
 is to be evinced, not by the numerical magni- 
 tude of its constituency, but by the spirit of 
 active godliness which animates it. 
 
 God grant that in time to come, when the 
 great Husbandman shall come to look at our 
 now thrifty fig tree, he may find it laden with 
 fruit as well as enveloped in leaves!
 
 EXTEACT XII. 
 
 A ROMANCE. 
 
 September 12, 1878. — I had occasion, during 
 the last month, while on a business trip to one 
 of our lively western cities, to witness an illus- 
 tration of what I mio;ht call Providence in ro- 
 mance. I was entertained for several weeks at 
 
 the residence of a Mr. R W , a 
 
 worthy gentleman who has risen to the position 
 of a foremost merchant in the place. Charac- 
 ter and energy have elevated him to compara- 
 tive wealth, which he has used liberally in 
 gratifying his tastes and multiplying, his com- 
 forts. His home was a pretty, rural one, on 
 the edge of the city, to which a street-railway 
 line, with a station near by, gave all the ad- 
 vantages of the corporation. It struck me as 
 a model nest for the amiable pair who dwelt 
 within it. It was handsome without being os- 
 tentatious, commodious in its arrangements, 
 and adorned to the extent of every reasonable 
 desire. Pleasant prospects opened out on 
 every side, and a spacious lawn in front sloped 
 down to the margin of a picturesque little river.
 
 A ROMANCF. 73 
 
 along whose banks a file of giant oaks stood as 
 warders of the grounds. 
 
 All these features were interesting to me for 
 a special reason. The master and mistress of 
 this comelj^ mansion were, in a certain sense, 
 my children. At some time near the close of 
 
 the late civil war, the former, Mr. W , 
 
 then a young man of perhaps twenty-one years, 
 appeared in our city as the agent of a company 
 of capitalists in the West, to superintend the 
 management of certain cotton estates which 
 they had leased or purchased. His appear- 
 ance and manners were attractive, and his tes- 
 timonials were of an unquestionable character. 
 I was introduced to him soon after his arrival, 
 and found him frank, intelligent, and right- 
 minded. At my suggestion, he became a lodger 
 in the family of a particular friend of my wife, 
 a lady who had been left a widow some years 
 before, without means, and who had supported 
 herself and her two little daughters by taking 
 
 boarders. Mr. W retained his quarters 
 
 in the household for some two years, identify- 
 ing himself so completely with the home-circle 
 that a strong bond of confidence and affection 
 sprang up between them. The younger child 
 was about seven years old, bewitching in her 
 beauty, her gracefulness, and her vivacity. In
 
 74 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 the sweet, spontaueous lovingness of her own 
 heart, she drew the love of all other hearts to 
 her. She and the young lodger became fast 
 friends. He filled for her the place of father, 
 brother, companion, and playmate ; she to him 
 was the object upon whom all the ardor of a 
 generous nature, which, during his exile from 
 former associations, seemed to crave an outlet, 
 expended itself. 
 
 At length Mr. W , or Robert, as most 
 
 of us had learned to call him, having com- 
 pleted his mission, was recalled by his em- 
 ployers. The parting was a hard trial for him 
 and the little Jeannette. But, as we say, sor- 
 row does not lodge long in a young heart. 
 She said little about him — rather avoided allu- 
 sion to him, but carefully treasured up the 
 keepsakes he had left her. Two years passed 
 in the widow's home, and then God called her 
 to himself. The elder daughter was adopted 
 by a kinsman, and Jeannette was added to our 
 flock. Her nature called for a warm atmos- 
 phere in which to grow, and she found it in 
 the tender sympathy we felt for her loneliness, 
 and in the regard excited by her confiding and 
 winning w-ays. She was a sweet graft on our 
 family tree — one with us, and yet unlike. I 
 gave her eyerj advantage that my own chil-
 
 A EOMANCE. 75 
 
 dren had bad, and with her fine talents and 
 avidity for knowledge she ripened into a cul- 
 tured womanhood. One peculiarity about her 
 was, that she seemed unconscious of the at- 
 tractions which every one recognized, and 
 rather repelled than sought adnMration or at 
 tention. As the result, she confined her shin- 
 ing to the circle of her home, like a jewel shut 
 up in its casket. 
 
 In the meantime our young friend, Robert 
 W , had not allowed himself to be forgot- 
 ten. Every now and then letters came from 
 him to his little Jeannette. On her birthdays, 
 and at other times, handsome presents were 
 received from him. Occasionally, he sent a 
 picture of himself, and asked for one of her in 
 return. His love for the child retained its 
 place so freshly in his heart that he seemed to 
 be incapable of appreciating the lapse of years 
 and the changes it had wrought, and addressed 
 her in the same frank and hearty way that he 
 had done when she used to clamber on his 
 knee in her mother's home. His letters were 
 full of amusing incongriiities when he referred 
 to her, but managed to let us know that he was 
 prospering in business and acquiring both repu- 
 tation and wealth. Shortly after his return 
 to the West he had connected himself with the 
 Presbyterian Church.
 
 7G Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 One day a telegram was received from liim, 
 telling us that lie was on his way South, and 
 would stop and spend a day or two with us. 
 Thesse tidings created a flutter in the house- 
 hold, setting every mind to work at framing 
 cenjectures, anticipations, and devices for enter- 
 taining our "mythical relative," as we had been 
 wont to call him. He arrived at the designated 
 time, and stood before us with hardly a per- 
 ceptible change from the image of him left 
 upon our memory when he had vanished from 
 our sight ten years before. There was the 
 same genial air in countenance and manner 
 which used to make him magnetic; the same 
 ingenuousness pervading his address, in which 
 ardor was combined with delicacy, which had 
 marked him in his youth; and as the result, 
 in a few moments we were all as much at ease 
 together as if we had parted only yesterday. 
 
 All were, of course, interested in seeing the 
 meeting between him and Jeanuette. As hand 
 after hand was rapidly grasped, he came to her, 
 and, almost overcome by his emotion, cried, 
 " Oh, Jeanie ! Jeannie ! ray little one, do I see 
 you again?" 
 
 With a smile, placid as usual, she said, "I 
 almost wish I could be a little one again, that 
 you might be sure that it is really I ! "
 
 A Romance, 77 
 
 "Oh, no!" he exclaimed, "I see my little 
 one all here and — so much more! Yon must 
 tell me all about it — how the little one has 
 grown up to be the splendid — well, I mean the 
 woman that she is; but, to me, it will be the 
 'little one' that I see all the way through! " 
 
 He spent two days with us, during which 
 he and Jeannette were much together. The 
 period of time during which they had been 
 separated was reviewed step by step, and by 
 the time he took his departure the two streams 
 of life seemed to have become as closely inter- 
 mingled as they had been in her childhood. 
 
 The evening after he had left, she and I were 
 alone, when, in a rather embarrassed way, she 
 said to me, "Uncle" (I had taught her to call 
 me thus), "Robert, I mean Mr. W , ex- 
 pects to return here in about a mouth." 
 
 "Well," I said, "we shall all be glad to see 
 him — shall we not ? " 
 
 " Yes," she replied, " I suppose so ; but," 
 she added, in a voice dropping low, if she were 
 almost afraid to hear her words, "he told me 
 that when he came he should ask me to become 
 his wife. He said I belonged to him, that God 
 had given me to him, and kept me all these 
 years for him, and that his life would be a 
 worthless blank unless I shared it with him.
 
 78 Extracts from an Elder'h Diary. 
 
 He did not want me to say yes or no then, but 
 asked me to consult with you before I gave 
 him my answer. Oh," she exclaimed, as she 
 finished her communication, "he is so good 
 and kind that I could not be offended with him ; 
 but I had not thought of this ! " 
 
 She was in tears when she stopped. I was 
 not surprised at this revelation ; and said to 
 her, "My child, perhaps God has been think- 
 ing about it. We must look at the matter reli- 
 giously. One thing is certain, we know Mr. 
 
 W to be a man, in the fullest sense, 
 
 worthy of respect, confidence, and even affec- 
 tion. It is strange that with his many engaging 
 qualities and his social disposition he has not 
 been involved in an attachment with some one 
 long ago. His love for you seems to have kept 
 pace with his years. Don't you think it is real ? " 
 
 " He says it is, and that it cannot be anything 
 else, for it is a part of his very life," was her 
 reply. 
 
 "And don't you think that you have a regard 
 for him, which may possibly be what is called 
 love ? " I continued. 
 
 "Uncle," she said, looking me earnestly in 
 the face, " beyond you and your dear Avife and 
 children, there has been nobofly in the world 
 for me to love except Mr. W , who has
 
 A KOMANCE, 70 
 
 strangely cared for me all mj life, I may say, 
 and whose tender interest in me has seemed to 
 unite him inseparably with all my thousrhts and 
 affections, although I never thought of it as 
 the love that leads to marriage." 
 
 " My dear," I said, " we must lay this subject 
 before God. If his hand is in it, his voice will 
 give an answer to your perplexity. You have 
 time to reflect, and to test your feelings, and to 
 pray for divine illumination. You are God's 
 child, and if you go to him for counsel he will 
 not suffer 30U to err in your decision." 
 
 In due time Mr. W reappeared, a 
 
 favorable response rewarded his devotion ; and 
 in a few months later he returned to claim his 
 bride. In the presence of a few friends Dr. 
 
 N united the handsome pair, and in a 
 
 few hours they left on the train for their future 
 home. As they drove from our door my ejacu- 
 lation was, "It is the story of Isaac and 
 Rebekah over again!" My wife, amidst her 
 tears, exclaimed, " In thee the fatherless findeth 
 mercy"; and an old colored mammj', who, like 
 her class, was bound to be in the front at a leave- 
 taking, gave vent to her Calvinistic faith in the 
 words, " Sure, de good Lord has been knowin' 
 of it all de time, and has jest been keepin* 
 these dear children for one anotlier! "
 
 80 Extracts fiiom an Elder's Diary. 
 
 It was iu the home of this happj- couple, the 
 abode of domestic virtue and sanctified affec- 
 tion, that I have recently been sojourning ; and 
 as I broke bread at their generous table, it was 
 sweetened by the reflection that it was a fulfil- 
 ment of the promise, "Cast thy bread upon 
 the waters, for thou shalt find it after many 
 days."
 
 EXTEACT XIII. 
 
 .1 PESTILENCE. 
 
 Sunday, Novemher 9, 1879. — The November 
 frosts have brought us deliverance from a 
 deadly scourge, which for the past two months 
 has been desolating this community. Early in 
 the fall the suspicion that several cases of the 
 yellow fever, the occasional plague of our south- 
 ern seaboard, had occurred, had agitated the 
 public mind. The certainty of the fact slowly 
 revealed itself. The doubts of the most in- 
 credulous at last gave way, and then the usual 
 panic ensued. Every one who could find a 
 retreat, near or far, fled. The multitude who 
 could not get away remained to meet their fate, 
 persuading themselves, however, that, on one 
 ground or another, they would be exempt from 
 the touch of the pestilence. I, who had passed 
 through several seasons of this kind, and con- 
 sidered myself acclimated, although I had never 
 taken the fever, resolved, after removing my 
 family to a place of safety, to stay at home and 
 render such assistance as I could in caring for 
 the sick. It has been a time of trying, and, I 
 6 81
 
 82 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 trust, in many respects, profitable, experience 
 to me. 
 
 Nothing can be more depressing than to feel, 
 day after day and night after night, that you 
 are enfolded by the shadow of death. The 
 dreary continuity and monotony with which 
 one has to revolve in thought and conversation 
 such topics as the new victims added to the 
 list of patients, the latest symptoms of those 
 under treatment, and the fatal issue of the 
 struggle in this case or that, are simply awful. 
 Perhaps it is not strange that many persons at 
 such seasons grow reckless, and resort to dis- 
 sipation as an antidote to the gloom of their 
 surroundings. It is said that while, during the 
 prevalence of an epidemic, the ordinary branches 
 of business are, for the most part, suspended, the 
 saloons and places of revelry are patronized to 
 an exceptional extent. The evidences of the in- 
 tense, and even brutal, depravity which our fallen 
 nature is capable of entertaining and exhibit- 
 ing, which have come under my own notice, 
 are astounding. Rapacity seems to leap, like 
 a hungry wolf, upon a prostrate community, 
 and gratify its appetite by extorting gain from 
 its needs and sufferings. A cold-blooded ava- 
 rice can sit at its desk and calculate how the 
 woes of a plague-smitten community, and even
 
 A Pestilence. 83 
 
 the terrors of Almiglity God, can be coined 
 into money. 
 
 But I thank God that if these fearful chal- 
 lenges call forth the enmity of the carnal mind 
 to him, on the one hand, they give occasion on 
 the other for beautiful exhibitions of faith, 
 brotherly kindness, and self-sacrificing devo- 
 tion to duty. Christian men and women liave 
 led the rauks of the helpers in this season of 
 general distress, and have been foremost in 
 providing means, devising methods, and per- 
 sonally executing them for the relief of the 
 afflicted multitude. A Spartan band have done 
 a heroic work, and have done it, very largely, 
 under the prompting of the spirit of Christ. 
 It has not been a poetic work, Avhich one might 
 touch with a gloved hand, but one of sheer, 
 homely labor, including the manifold services 
 of the literal nurse, and oftentimes in scenes of 
 squalor and upon subjects uncomely, if not re- 
 pulsive. It is simply hospital work, without 
 the advantage of the facilities which hospitals 
 afford. One is tempted to ask, "What place is 
 there for spiritual ministrations under such 
 circumstances? Often, it has to be confessed, 
 there is none. To the patient, racked with 
 bodily pain, raving with delirium, or sunk in 
 unconsciousness, even the offering of a prayer
 
 84 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 seems to be an \inmeaning exercise Still, the 
 Christian may find in liis own experience that 
 the humane element in his philanthropic work 
 may be spiritualized, as an expression of the 
 faith which works by love to his seen neighbor, 
 through the love he bears to God, whom he 
 cannot see. In Christ's name he may visit the 
 sick, and put the cup of cold water to the 
 thirsty lip, and the thought will awaken in his 
 own heart, at least, motives and affections of 
 an eminently spiritual nature. Certainly, I 
 can testify that during these weary watchings 
 by night and labors by day, I have enjoyed a 
 sense of fellowship with my divine Master, and 
 of the blessedness of union with him, which has 
 rarely been vouchsafed to me elsewhere. The 
 testimony which is given before the eye of the 
 world, that religion is deed as well as profes- 
 sion, is something which also invests even this 
 drudgery of nursing with a spiritual aspect. 
 Then, too, sometimes a soothing word may be 
 spoken, or an allusion be made to the ''old, 
 old story of Jesus and his love," which may 
 fall like dew upon a withered soul. I recall an 
 instance of this, which occurred one night as I 
 was sitting alone by the bedside of a man of 
 mature age, who was lying in that stage of ex- 
 haustion which follows a severe attack of fever.
 
 A Pestilence. 85 
 
 He drew a long breath and murmured, " I feel 
 as weak as a child." "Yes," I said, quietly, 
 "God reminds us all sometimes that we are 
 but little children. He would not have us 
 forget the child's trust, nor the child's prayer. 
 Put yourself in the position of a child again, 
 and say, as you used to do at your mother's 
 knee, ' Our Father which art in heaven ! ' As 
 a little child, Jesus tells us, we must all enter 
 into the kingdom of God. Remember the 
 lessons which were taught you in your child- 
 hood ; the texts of Scripture, the sayings of the 
 Saviour, the stories of the prodigal son, and of 
 the dying thief, and the hymns which tell of 
 the love of Jesus to us sinners! Oh, yes, it is 
 well for us to be made to feel as little children ; 
 for, as men, we fancy that we are too wise and 
 two strong to need God, and so we forget him, 
 and try to live without him ; and it is to make 
 us willing to return to him that he throws us 
 back into the weakness of childhood." And so 
 I went on, for I saw that he was not offended, 
 but interested, and soon his lip quivered, and 
 the tears trickled down his face. I paused, 
 fearing that his excitement might be injurious, 
 and asked, " Shall I pray for you?" He gave 
 me an earnest look and nodded his head. 
 When I rose from my prayer, his eyes were
 
 S6 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 closed, but he clasped the hand with which I 
 had been holding his own, which was about 
 the last sign of intelligence he showed. His 
 stupor deepened till he died before the morn- 
 ing. What passed between the Spirit of God 
 and his soul lies beyond human ken ; but I am 
 glad I was permitted to say to him what I did. 
 
 Our pastor, Dr. N , has been assidu- 
 ous in his attention to the sick and afflicted 
 throughout the season. He has kept up, regu- 
 larly, a morning service on the Sabbath and a 
 weekly prayer-meeting. It has been an un- 
 speakable solace to the limited band who could 
 convene for worship to place themselves thus 
 under the shadow of the Almighty's wings, 
 and to be led out of the arid scenes through 
 which they had been passing during the week, 
 to the fountains of spiritual health and invigo- 
 ration. Dr. N tells me that he is con- 
 vinced that a minister's presence is needed, 
 during an epidemic, more as a comforter to be- 
 reaved households than as a counsellor to the 
 sick and dying. 
 
 "Never," was his remark, "have I been more 
 impressed with the ])erilousness of siispending 
 the soul's salvation upon the chances of a 
 death-bed. conversion. While the fight for 
 natural life is going on, there is no opportunity
 
 A Pestilence. 87 
 
 for the religious teacher to interject his instruc- 
 tions. But the poor surviving mourners — their 
 case has touched my heart. Death by the 
 plague is still — death; and for the loved one 
 gone there is the same sorrow as that which 
 floods a family at other times, and the same 
 desire that the precious body should be laid in 
 the ground with the usual testimonials of re- 
 spect. I am satisfied that, if 1 have done any 
 good this season, it has been mainly here, in 
 the lifting-up of those who have been bowed 
 down under the strokes of God's mysterious 
 providence." 
 
 His remark reminded me of the exclamation 
 of a lady, not of his communion, as she grasped 
 his hand as we were leaving one of these smit- 
 ten homes : " Oh ! Dr. N , what would we 
 
 have done in this time of trouble without your 
 counsels and prayers!" 
 
 Through God's special mercy, but few fatal 
 cases of sickness have occurred among our com- 
 municants. One of these had in it something 
 of the features of a dreary romance, or showed 
 the ruthlessness with which death overrides 
 the tenderest attachments which bind us to life. 
 A young man, a mechanic, who had come from 
 the West a year or more ago, had presented 
 his letter of dismission from a church in his
 
 88 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 former place of residence to our session, and 
 had been admitted to our communion. His 
 unvarying strictness in observing his religious 
 duties, and his fidelity to all his business obli- 
 gations, soon gained him the respect and jDa- 
 tronage of the community. Under these en- 
 couraging auspices, he ventured, last summer, 
 to bring to a neat little home, which he had 
 purchased and furnished, a fair young bride, 
 exuberant in health and beauty as a prairie 
 rose. It was a pleasure, which I frequently en- 
 joyed, to drop in and witness their happiness. 
 When the fever broke out, I begged him to 
 seek some retreat for himself and his wife in 
 the country. He was well, temperate, and oc- 
 cupied with his trade, and his mind could not 
 take in the thought of danger. I repeated my 
 advice the last time I met him on the street. 
 Then he argued that it was too late ; that, even 
 if he desired to leave, he must have imbibed 
 the infection. It was, indeed, too late. The 
 next day I learned that both he and his wife 
 were stricken violently with the disease. I 
 hurried to the house, where kind friends had 
 already preceded me, and found him in one 
 room and his wife in an adjoining one, both in 
 a state of delirium — a dull stupor in his case, 
 and a wild ramblinsr of mind in hers. The
 
 A Pestilence. 89 
 
 eclipse which had fallen ou his soul was never 
 lifted. Her ceaseless, but irrational, activity 
 wrought like an effervescing fountain. One 
 sentiment seemed to hold its ground amidst all 
 her confusion, and that was gratitude for a 
 little bunch of flowers which I had brought 
 her ou one of my visits. She kept them per- 
 petually in sight, talked fondly of them and to 
 them till speech failed her; and when she died, 
 a gentle hand laid the faded emblem of herself 
 on her bosom. The end came to them both on 
 the morning of the fourth day, with the differ- 
 ence of only a few hours in time ; and in the 
 shadow of the evening we bore their coffins to 
 the cemetery in the same hearse, and laid them 
 side by side in the same grave. It was the 
 saddest of all the sad incidents I have been 
 called to witness, and an illustration of the in- 
 stability of human hopes and plans which I 
 shall never forget. We gaze at such anomalies 
 as the Israelites did at the cloud and flame 
 which enveloped the crest of Sinai; and the 
 only solution of the dread phenomenon is to be 
 found in the revelation of the sovereign law, 
 the holy will of the Lord God, which faith 
 discerns through the thunder's voice and the 
 lightning's blaze. 
 
 Alongside of this pictiire is another which is
 
 90 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 traced indelibly upou my memory. A young 
 stranger from au eastern State had been ap- 
 pointed by the authorities in charge of our 
 municipal ^iffairs the principal of our public 
 school. The appointment was offensive to our 
 people, and the new officer made no friends. 
 Ultimately the fever seized him. Instantly a 
 tide of sympathy turned to him, and pi-ejudiees 
 disappeared in the face of the sufferer's lone- 
 liness and helplessness. No effort was spared 
 by men or women to promote his comfort and 
 save his life. I went to his lodgings promptly, 
 and tellino- him who I was, offered him my per- 
 sonal services, and assured him of the kindly 
 interest felt in his case by the community. He 
 was touched, and became confidential. He 
 told me, among other things, that he was a 
 member of the Presbyterian Church at his 
 home, and had brought his certificate with 
 him, but had been deterred from presenting it 
 to the church by discovering the adverse feel- 
 ing entertained towards him by the community. 
 He was a recent graduate of a New England 
 college, anxious to teach before studying a 
 profession, and had accepted the appointment 
 offered to him in entire ignorance of the objec- 
 tionable circumstances under which it had been 
 made. His family had consented to his leav-
 
 A Pestilence. 91 
 
 ing them in the behef that the opening pre- 
 sented to him was a particiihirly desirable one. 
 
 "Oh," I could not but exclaim, "if you had 
 only gone, as you might have done, to our 
 pastor, and told him all these facts, how 
 much injustice and suffering might have been 
 avoided!" I added, "Everybody is your 
 friend, now. We will do all that hiiraan skill 
 
 and attention can do for you, and Dr. N 
 
 will call to see you, and the prayers of God's 
 people will go up for you." I encouraged him 
 with these and other words. 
 
 His attack was a violent one, but his frame 
 was strong, and for a day or two we hoped to 
 see him r:dly. But the brain began to show 
 signs of giving way, and hope left us. It was 
 devolved upon me to reveal to him his con- 
 dition. I did so as carefully and tenderly as 
 I could. He looked at me with an expression 
 of amazement and agony on his countenance 
 which was unutterably pathetic. 
 
 "Oh, God," he exclaimed, "has it come to 
 this? "Was it for this I left my home?" and 
 burying his face in his pillow, he wept and 
 groaned himself into comparative composure. 
 After a while he turned to me again, and said, 
 "Let me speak to you while I can. You will 
 find paper and pencil thei*e," pointing to a
 
 92 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 table; "take down what I have to say." He 
 gave me the address of his father, and directed 
 me to convey to him unmerous messages ; "and 
 tell him — tell him," he added, in broken utter- 
 ances, "Oh, yes, merciful Saviour, may I not 
 tell him — that I died — a Christian? " 
 
 He paused a while and then said, "I have 
 one request more. I am engaged to be mar- 
 ried. Write to Miss , at (cjiv- 
 
 ing me a lady's address), "and tell her that I 
 have loved her to the last, and I think God will 
 let me love her still in heaven. And please 
 put this in your letter," he continued, as he 
 drew a ring from his finger. " She will know 
 it, and know what it means!" He was ex- 
 hausted. I spoke some soothing words, offered 
 up a brief prayer at his bedside, and left him. 
 
 I never saw him again. He soon became 
 delirious — frantic, even, and died before the 
 next morning. An unusually large company 
 attended his burial, and women's gentle hands 
 strewed flowers over the stranger's grave. Death 
 called into exercise a charity which, under the 
 mistakes and passions of life, had failed to 
 assert itself. Perhaps there would not be so 
 many sorrows in the world if they were not 
 necessary to keep the fire of humanity burning 
 in human breasts.
 
 A Pestilence. 93 
 
 Oh, God, how unsearchable are thy judg- 
 ments, and thy ways past finding out! Surely, 
 it must be that the fascinations of a world 
 which have grown too attractive to me may be 
 broken that I have been called to pass through 
 such scenes!
 
 EXTRACT XIV. 
 
 THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY. 
 
 June 2, 1880. — Last month it was my privi- 
 lege to be present as a commissioner of our 
 presbytery at the General Assembly, which met 
 
 at . I had been fairly educated for this 
 
 office by my frequent attendance upon the 
 meetings of presbytery and synod, but have 
 heretofore declined an appointment to this 
 more august body, partly from a diffidence as 
 to my fitness to do service to the church, but 
 mainly because I could not venture to ask so 
 extended a release from my secular engage- 
 ments as an attendance upon a General Assem- 
 bl}' would demand. This year, as I could 
 consistently command time, I allowed myself 
 to be elected, and was able to fill my seat from 
 the beginning to the close of the sessions of the 
 body. 
 
 I confess that it was with a very distinct 
 sense of awe that I found myself associated 
 with this supreme court of the Presbyterian 
 Church. The term "venerable," so often ap- 
 plied to it in the Avay of courtesy, was to me 
 more than a title ; it was a fact. Believing, as 
 94
 
 The General Assembly. 95 
 
 I did, that the idea of the church given in the 
 Bible was correctly embodied in the Presby- 
 terian system, and recognizing the members of 
 this convention as a body charged b}' the head 
 of the church with the ministerial oversight of 
 its affairs, I had been accustomed to invest it 
 with the highest attributes with which a mere 
 human congress could be endowed. I took my 
 seat in this meeting, therefore, with, perhaps, 
 an extravagant expectation as to the exhibition 
 of dignity, intellectual ability, wisdom and spir- 
 itual-mindedness which I was to witness in the 
 proceedings with which, for a series of days, 
 we were to be occupied. These expectations, 
 I am pleased to sa}^ have been to a large 
 extent, gratified. I am impressed more pro- 
 foundly than I have ever been, with the con- 
 viction that our church is loyal to the principles 
 upon which Christ has founded his visible king- 
 dom, that it has realized the right conception 
 of its structure and mission, and that it has 
 been eminently wise in the methods adopted 
 for the execution of its great vocation. If I 
 loved and honored it before, I love and honor 
 it more now, for the confidence I have in it, as 
 true in its adherence to the immutable truths 
 of the everlasting gospel, on the one hand, and 
 singularly adapted, in its working, to the needs
 
 96 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 and conditions of the world wiiich it is to con- 
 vert, on tlie other. I record it as one of the 
 great privileges of m}- life that I have been 
 permitted to attend this Assembly. I wish to 
 record, now, some of the reflections which 
 have taken shape in my mind, in connection 
 with this pleasant interhide in my experience, 
 before they have lost their freshness. 
 
 First, In so large a body I missed the close- 
 ness of intercourse, and the warmth of fraternal 
 sympathy with which I had become familiar at 
 the meetings of presbytery and synod. Still, 
 there was a compensation for this loss in the 
 opportunity of seeing the faces and hearing 
 the voices of manj' with whose names I had 
 long been acquainted, and whose eminence as 
 standard-bearers in the Lord's host had drawn 
 to them the respect and pride which, as a 
 humble member of the same spiritual house- 
 hold, I had been wont to entertain towards 
 these illustrious kinsmen. I have added to 
 t^ie range of my enjoyments in time to come, I 
 am sure, by this enlargement of relationship 
 and affection. It was a thought, too, which 
 often came to me with an inspiring effect, that 
 here, in this company, consisting, for the most 
 part, of men of marked individuality, and rep- 
 resenting the diverse mental phases due to
 
 The General Assembly. 97 
 
 sectional enviroumeut, and different social and 
 literary training, and who were, yet, all welded 
 together in the closest concord by the inspira- 
 tion of a common faith in the word of God and 
 a common zeal for the cause of Christ, I was 
 beholding the blessed spectacle of a corpora- 
 tion like that which the apostle describes in 
 his Epistle to the Ephesians, as "a building 
 fitly framed together" and constituting by the 
 unity of its members " a habitation of God 
 through the Spirit." Separate waves they 
 seemed, each possessing its own vitality and 
 maintaining its own independence, and yet 
 moving under the same impulse, and blending 
 in a grand harmony like that of the sea. And 
 as I never look at the sea withoiit feeling that 
 the i^ulse of God's power is throbbing in its 
 flow, so, in this spectacle, I could not but feel 
 that this confluence of soul was due to the 
 power of God's grace. 
 
 Thei'e is something, also, of which I am con- 
 scious, which I may call the quickening and 
 widening of m}^ individual spiritual life through 
 -association with the corporate life of the 
 church, which this protracted communion with 
 so large a body of brethren has awakened in 
 me. Personally, perhaps, I have an increased 
 sense of my own insignificance by having had 
 7
 
 98 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 to exchange the standards of my own httle 
 home-sphere for those with which I have been 
 brought in contact during this meeting; but I 
 feel that I am a bigger and a stronger man in 
 faith and in purpose, through the wider horizon 
 which I have been surveying and the stimu- 
 lating atmosphere I have been inhaling. Yes, 
 I am thankful I went to this Assembly, though 
 I went supposing I was a cipher, and have re- 
 turned knowing that I am one. 
 
 Second, I had no light to throw upon the 
 deliberations of the body through the medium 
 of public address, but I could, and I did, take 
 part in the business by participating in the 
 consultations of several committees of which I 
 was appointed a member. In this capacity I 
 tried to do my best. I soon discovered that a 
 commissioner to the General Assembly was not 
 sent on a holiday excursion. The call for work 
 was incessant, and often interfered with private 
 convenience and bodily comfort. The efficiency 
 of an Assembly in doing business well and 
 promptly lies, I am persuaded, very largely, in 
 the competency and fidelity of its committees. 
 In the rural district where I was born, there 
 were occasional gatherings of the people of the 
 neighborhood at what were called "raisings." 
 A house was to be built. The material for the
 
 The General Assembly. 99 
 
 frame-work of the structure had all been pre- 
 pared, piece by piece, in the seclusion of the 
 workshop or siied, by the mechanics. When all 
 was elaborated, to the shaping of the minutest 
 pin or brace, the male portion of the community 
 were invited to come and assist in the process 
 of laying, elevating, and jointing the various 
 parts of the building. It was simply a public 
 agency giving eifect to a project in which every 
 element had been provided by skilled hands 
 in private. This now obsolete custom, it seems 
 to me upon a review of what I witnessed, might 
 be imitated to advantage by a large ecclesi- 
 astical body. Let the work of hewing, planing, 
 and chiselling be done in the committee room, 
 and let the Assembly attend to the rawing/. 
 There used to be, also, a generous feast spread, 
 as the sequel to these gatherings. Perhaps, if 
 the same plan were adopted, there might be a 
 better chance to respond to the hospitable 
 importunities which are apt to pursue the at- 
 tendants upon our church meetings. 
 
 Third, The extent of the work given to the 
 church to do, and the portion of it which it is 
 actually doing, grew upon me immensely, as I 
 listened to the reports of committees, the ad- 
 dresses of speakers — some from mission fields 
 at home and abroad — and the sermons which
 
 100 Extracts from ax Elder's Diary. 
 
 emphasized the claims of Christ and his king- 
 dom. The apostoHc enthusiasm, at which we 
 are accustomed to Avonder as an exceptional 
 phenomenon, seemed to me sometimes the most 
 natural thing in the world, to which the heart 
 of the believer in Jesus must open as normally 
 as the lungs of a new-born infant do to the 
 influx of the air, and the real wonder was, that 
 all Christians were not inspired by it. God 
 help me, in all time to come, to be more 
 affected by this sacred afflatus than I have 
 been wont to be ! 
 
 Fourth, There was something unspeakably 
 refreshing in the thought which often came to 
 me, that I was here consorting, day after day, 
 with a company of men who were animated by 
 a faith in a spiritual world, and influenced by 
 the attractions of spiritual objects. I suppose 
 I was particularly susceptible to an impression 
 of this kind because my manner of life has kept 
 me so constantly under the influence of a secu- 
 lar element. Ordinarily, it is Avitli men who 
 are absorbed with the desire for wealth, and 
 devoted to the pursuit of it, that my position 
 requires me to be conversant. As a man of 
 business, I must talk business, or hear it talked 
 about, from morning till night, until the con- 
 sciousness of a spiritual nature in myself or
 
 The General Assembly. 101 
 
 others is almost expunged from my mind. Oh, 
 what a relief it was to find myself in a society 
 where the dialect of the market, and the arts 
 of the financier, and the infatuation of money- 
 getting were unknown ! Not that these men with 
 whom I was now fraternizing were ascetics who 
 had persuaded themselves that the abandon- 
 ment of common sense, and the sacrifice of 
 decency and comfort constituted religion, but 
 that in their policy the love of the world 
 was kept in subordination to aspiration after 
 spiritual ends, and things seen and temporal 
 were sought and used only as auxiliaries in 
 the acquisition of things unseen and eternal. 
 On this sordid earth, it was pleasant to find a 
 place where earthly lusts did not intrude, where 
 the prevailing passion was the love of Christ, 
 and truth, and righteousness, and not the crav- 
 ing for riches and social or political eminence, 
 and over which the presence of the Holy Spirit 
 might complacently brood. 
 
 Fifth, I must say it was a matter of un- 
 feigned satisfaction to me to notice that the 
 eldership, as a part of the constituency of the 
 Assembly, were a positive and not merely a 
 negative element. They received in a marked 
 way the respectful appreciation to which their 
 rank as presbyters entitled them. I realized
 
 102 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 from this fact that the church is a "spiritual 
 commonwealth," and not a hierarchy. The 
 popular factor in it was more than a shadow 
 and an echo. It was not unfrequently a per- 
 ceptible force, and a salutary one, in determin- 
 ing action. As the real aspect of an object 
 may be better ascertained by throwing upon it 
 lights drawn from different quarters, so the 
 acumen and culture of a mind expert in secular 
 problems may be advantageously combined with 
 the skill derived from scholastic research and 
 theological training. There were men on the 
 floor of this Assembly who could see points 
 and bearings in a proposition that had escaped 
 the eyes of spectacled divines. I could not, of 
 course, pose as one of these, and could only sit 
 dumb while the oracles spoke ; but I am sure 
 there were some among my brethren in the 
 eldership whose clear vision and practical tact 
 untied for me many a knot in which my mind 
 was entangled, and through their gifts and 
 efforts I felt that the oflBce they held was 
 abundantl}' magnified. 
 
 Sixth, The optimistic view I have been ex- 
 pressing must be toned down a little by two 
 other reflections which I have brought back 
 from this meeting. One is, that the idea of a 
 " dead line," marking the exitiis of efficiency in
 
 The General Assembly. 103 
 
 the life of ministers, which I hear of occasion- 
 ally as floating about in the religious commu- 
 nity, seems to have insinuated itself, to some 
 extent, into the highest court of our church. It 
 seemed to me, on several occasions during the 
 sessions of the late Assembly, that the elder 
 and more mature men were almost interdicted 
 from taking part in the discussions on impor- 
 tant subjects by the forwardness of j-ounger 
 members. At least, the opportunity to speak 
 had to be won by such a struggle, such an out- 
 lay of voice, and such alertness of motion in 
 catching the moderator's attention, that the 
 venerable seers, whose conceptions of decorum^ 
 probably, had been derived from an earlier age^ 
 or whose lung-power and physical agility were 
 uneqaal to the contest, preferred to surrender 
 their rights and to let the junior prophets take 
 the field. Cho^ritably, I hoped that all these 
 Eldads and Medads were indeed prophets, and 
 that the Lord had put his Spirit upon them; 
 but inwardly and emphatically, I said, "Days 
 should speak, and multitude of years should 
 teach wisdom." 
 
 My other criticism was in the form of a ques- 
 tion : Must a man's opinions be so identified 
 with his personality, that to dissent from the 
 former is to inflict a wrong upon the latter? It
 
 104 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 seemed to me that some of the speakers took 
 the affirmative view of this question. Perhaps 
 people generally do. I infer this from the 
 exhibitions of temper and the caustic retorts 
 which sometimes marred the equanimity of ;i 
 debate. Failure to see the correctness or the 
 logical sufficiency of the opinions expressed by 
 one member by some other one had the effect 
 of a personal affront to the former. Surely, Ave 
 are none of us embodied truth. Surely, "wis- 
 dom will not die with us," as Job reminds his 
 opponents. In my humble way of thinking, 
 the man who cannot bear to have the correct- 
 ness of his opinions challenged without feeling 
 that he has suffered a personal wrong which 
 calls for resentment, has claimed for himself a 
 position which lies very near to an assertion of 
 infallibility. I am not qualified to philosophize 
 upon such a subject, but it does seem to me 
 that a man of sound mind will draw a line of 
 distinction between himself and his opinions, 
 at least so far as to remember that, when he 
 gives his opinions to me, he is making them 
 mine in such a sense that I can inspect them, 
 weigh them in my scales, and form an opinion 
 of my own as to their worth ; and, if that opin- 
 ion does not accord with his, I am not injuring 
 him, for it is his gift to me, not himself, whose
 
 The Genekal Assembly. 105 
 
 merits I am canvassing. When I have seen the 
 fire of passion flushing the cheek and kindling 
 the eje of a debater on a church phxtform, I 
 have said, If there is wisdom here, there is cer- 
 tainly lacking something which St. James calls 
 "the meekness of wisdom."
 
 EXTRACT XV. 
 
 PASTORAL CHANGES. 
 
 Sunday, October 31, 1880. — To our unspeak- 
 able regret, our old pastor, Dr. N , was 
 
 obliged by accumulated infirmities to close his 
 ministry among us. For more than twenty-five 
 years he had presided over this flock, and his 
 path, during that long period, was the progress- 
 ive one of "the shining light, that shineth more 
 and more unto the perfect day." The spirit of 
 the old hero Caleb was in him, but he could 
 not say, as that stalwart octogenarian did, at 
 the close of his career, "As yet I am as strong 
 this day as I was in the day that Moses sent 
 me." From the time he assumed the charge of 
 this church he made himself one with it, knit- 
 ting himself to it as an organic element, and, 
 apparently, never entertaining a thought or a 
 purpose looking to a change of location. Nor 
 had it ever entered into the minds of his people 
 to desire a change. A review of his history 
 has much to offer in favor of permanency in 
 the pastorate; and I am satisfied that the gen- 
 eral law of the church should contemplate this 
 permanency. But the maintaining of such a 
 106
 
 Pastoral Changes. 107 
 
 permanency assumes that there must be, to a 
 considerable extent at least, a permanency or 
 stability in a congregation ; and, unfortunately, 
 in the present day this condition is wanting. 
 Dr. N , in his latter years, has often re- 
 marked to me, sadly : " The world renews its 
 youth in each generation that comes upon the 
 stage. Man has no such successive births, or 
 metamorphoses. He grows only older as the 
 decades advance, until some day he awakes to 
 the fact that the current life of the world has 
 swept beyond him. The place in which he will 
 feel himself more sensibly than in all others a 
 stranger will be his native town, if he revisits 
 it after the lapse of fifty years. He is out of 
 date, out of harmony with the tastes, the modes 
 of thought, the susceptibilities and capabilities 
 of the community around him. 1 ^vill not allow 
 myself to think that it is a new gospel that the 
 people want, but they do want, I fear, a new 
 way of setting the gospel before them. Even 
 familiarity with the look, manner, voice, and 
 the mental processes and habits of a preacher 
 blunts the edge of his counsels, and benumbs 
 the sensibility of both ear and conscience in 
 the hearer. I am thankful," he would add, 
 '•that I have been permitted to hold my ground 
 so long in this field ; but, in these changeful
 
 108 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 times, I do not blame the brother who chooses 
 to make changes in his." 
 
 One thing I am ghid to say in regard to the 
 retirement of our hite pastor : we gave him 
 more than tears at parting; we provided amply 
 for his comfortable support during his declin- 
 ing years. 
 
 Such an event creates a sort of crisis in the 
 history of a church. It was new to us, and the 
 session realized the responsibilities which were 
 laid upon them under this unusual condition of 
 affairs. We recognized the fact that a minister 
 is a gift of the Lord ; we advised a devout wait- 
 ing for divine direction, and a continual and 
 general supplication for divine illumination, in 
 
 the effort to obtain a successor to Dr. N-^ ; 
 
 we determined that the stated worship of God 
 and the regular operations of the church should 
 be continued without variation. We engaged 
 supplies for our pulpit- as we could obtain 
 them, and, in the absence of these, resolved, 
 with such ability as we had, to conduct the 
 public services of the Sabbath and of the week. 
 We gave notice that, in the case of deaths in 
 the congregation, where it was agreeable to the 
 families bereaved, some member of the session 
 would be ready to conduct an appropriate ser- 
 vice at the burial. We apportioned the terri-
 
 Pastoral Changes. 109 
 
 tory of the congregation into convenient dis- 
 tricts, and agreed to charge ourselves, sever- 
 ally, with the work of family visitation during 
 the interregnum in the pastorship. 
 
 Under this arrangement and a tolerably faith- 
 ful compliance with it, we have, happily, main- 
 tained our ecclesiastical order and activity with- 
 out a material jar; and, as a crowning blessing, 
 we have been led, as we trust, heartily to agree 
 
 in the calling of a suitable man, the Rev. S 
 
 G W , to become our pastor. This 
 
 call was accepted, and to-day, by a commission 
 
 of the presbytery, Mr. W was formally 
 
 installed over the flock. Our dear old pastor 
 was present, and in most touching terms made 
 the closing ])rayer, "recommending both pastor 
 and people to the grace of God, and his holy 
 keeping." 
 
 As the senior member of the session, I do 
 here acknowledge, with special gratitude, the 
 mercy of God in conducting us safely thiough 
 this transition state, and enabling us, his stew- 
 ards, at the close of it, to render up, like Ezra's 
 priests, to our new chief, the vessels of the 
 Lord's house, without loss and without detri- 
 ment.
 
 • EXTRACT XYI. 
 
 TRIBULATION. 
 
 Sunday, Fehi'uary 20, 1881. — I am sitting 
 io-night under the shadow of a great affliction. 
 I am tasting a sorrow the bitterness of which, 
 in multitudes of other cases, I have been called 
 to witness and have tried to soothe, and from 
 which, bj the singular goodness of God, I have 
 heretofore been exempt. Yesterday I laid in 
 her grave my youngest child, the sweetest, 
 brightest, most precious link, as it seemed to 
 us, in the chain of our family life aud love. 
 She had come, like the evening star, to gild 
 our sunset sky, and make luminous the scenes 
 from which the radiance of the daylight had 
 largely faded. "W^e had often thought, with 
 palpitating hearts, of the pain we should ex- 
 perience at leaving her; we had never, till 
 recently, anticipated the anguish involved in 
 her leaving us. The silence of the house, 
 ■which every one seems afraid to break; the 
 dreary vacancy, in which every token and 
 charm of heme life seems to have been swal- 
 lowed up ; this mockery of occupation, in which 
 "we seem to be moving about like spectres ; this 
 110
 
 Tbibulation. Ill 
 
 reserve, which keeps us from looking in one 
 another's faces, lest our look should become 
 tears, and from speaking to one another, lest 
 our speech should end in a sob; this stifling 
 sense of falseness, of unreality in everything 
 about us; oh, this living deadness, which has 
 enveloped us all, is teaching us what the death 
 of the darling of the household means. God 
 help us to learn what it means as a part of the 
 discipline he applies to his own children I This 
 "strange thing," as it appears to the eye of 
 nature, must not be thought a strange thing 
 when surveyed in the light of faith. I must 
 escape from this dark spell of grief. It may 
 beguile me into a presumptuous questioning of 
 the ways of God. I must practice the trust 
 and submission I have tried to encourage 
 others, under similar circumstances, to exer- 
 cise. Perhaps it was to enable me to do this 
 service more effectually that I have been put 
 through this trying ordeal. If I am a branch 
 of Christ, the "true vine," the purpose of my 
 being such is that I may bear fruit to the 
 Husbandman's glory. I must accept purging 
 or pruning as a part of my culture ; and the 
 wise Husbandman cannot err in the form in 
 which he applies it. He who maketh sore 
 can bind up. He has not left me without
 
 112 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 abundant consolation in my present distress. 
 Blessed be his name ; if I have one child less 
 on earth, he has one more in heaven! 
 
 Mj daughter had reached her sixteenth year. 
 She was, literally, full of life ; full to the sym- 
 metrical completion of her own person, and 
 full in the overflowing sympathy, kindness, and 
 geniality with which she affiliated with every 
 other being. Her natural cheerfulness threw a 
 sparkle over the surface oi her life like the phos- 
 phorescence on the wave, but beneath there 
 were depths of thought and feeling which she 
 seemed instinctively to shrink from revealing. 
 On this account, while there was evidence that 
 she was living under the influence of genuine 
 religious conviction and principle, she main- 
 tained a persistent silence on the subject of her 
 personal spiritual experience, and had, invaria- 
 bly, a refusal to make to the suggestion I often 
 presented to her in recent years, that it was her 
 duty to profess openly her faith as a Christian. 
 I was satisfied that it was the intense awe with 
 which her view of the truths of religion affected 
 her that caused her diffidence ; and waited for 
 the time Avhen the seal should be broken and 
 her tongue should utter the confiding words, 
 "My Lord and my God." The time came, but 
 in a way that I had not anticipated.
 
 TUIBULATION. 113 
 
 Early in the spriug, while on a visit to the 
 country, she contracted a severe cold, which 
 developed rapidly into Inng-disease. The sum- 
 mer was devoted to fruitless efforts for her 
 restoration, and ended in the abandonment of 
 hope, in all except herself. From the moun- 
 tains, whither we had carried her, we brought 
 our patient sufferer home to die. As often as 
 her strength permitted I bore her in my arms, 
 as I. would an infant, from her dreary sick-room 
 to an easy chair in our library, from the window 
 of which she could look out upon the street and 
 draw, at least, the semblance of diversion from 
 the sights which were passing before her. 
 
 One morning in December, after she had 
 been exhausted by an unusually harassing fit 
 of coughing, she had desired to be borne to 
 her customary seat, and I had gently placed 
 her there. We were alone. After resting a 
 few moments, she gazed at me with an intense 
 earnestness, and said, "Pa! I don't think I 
 shall ever be well." 
 
 The terrible secret which had been long dis- 
 closed to us, her friends, and which had been 
 half-suspected, but never uttered by herself 
 before, was now divulged. I had been waiting 
 anxiously for such a revelation. It was time 
 the truth should be recognized by her. With
 
 114 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 such composure as I could command, I replied, 
 "My child, I do not think you ever will be." 
 
 She burst into tears, and exclaimed, " Oh, it 
 is so awful to die and go alone, all alone, to 
 meet God!" 
 
 There was a pleading look in her eye as she 
 gazed at me, which seemed to me like the soul 
 stretching out its hands to me for succor. It 
 seemed to say to me, "If you could go with 
 me I would not be afraid to die"; and my 
 heart w^as responding, "If such a thing could 
 be, I would be glad to go with you." 
 
 But we both felt the mysterious bar that 
 separated us here. She had crossed a circle 
 over which I could not pass, within which my 
 arm could no longer sustain her. I could only 
 say to her, "Mary, don't you know God well 
 enough not to be afraid to be alone with him? 
 He has been with you all your days. His pre- 
 sence has been fuU of tenderness, kindness, 
 mercy and grace towards you. My love to you 
 has been bnt a faint reflection of his love to 
 you. Does he not say in the Bible, 'As one 
 whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort 
 you ' ? Cannot you trust yourself with him as 
 confidently as you have been wont to trust your- 
 self to the care of us, your earthly parents ? " 
 
 And then I spoke to hor of God as revealed
 
 Tribulation. 115 
 
 to us iu Jesus Christ. I showed her how that 
 awful "glory," the first thought of which had 
 appalled her, had been converted into the soft 
 radiance of love as it beamed from the face of 
 her Saviour. 
 
 "Nothing but sin and a refusal to accept 
 Christ as a deliverer from its guilt and power," 
 I told her, " could properly make us afraid of 
 God. What Christ is, God is, to the soul that 
 believes in Christ. Just think of God as Jesus 
 manifests him to you, 3'earning for his lost chil- 
 dren, providing for their recovery, welcoming 
 them on their return, and ask yourself, 'Ought 
 I to be afraid of such a God, even though I 
 must meet him all alone?' " 
 
 I talked long in this strain, and an under- 
 current of prayer was going along with all that 
 I said. 
 
 She listened silently, till I asked, "Mary, do 
 you not believe iu Jesus? Do you not love 
 him? ' 
 
 Then, with a gleam lighting up the languid 
 eye, she answered, " I do ; I know I do " ; and 
 calmly added, "Pa, I had forgotten Jesus. I 
 am not alone ; I am not afraid to die ! " 
 
 The mist had vanished from the dark valley. 
 She never, from that moment, wavered in her 
 trust. She said but little of her feelings, but
 
 116 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 showed bj her cheerful eDdurance of her suf- 
 ferings, and by the serenit}' which rested, like 
 the sobered light of the setting sun, upon her 
 countenance, that the "peace of God was keep- 
 ing her heart and mind through Christ Jesus." 
 
 Once again, while sitting in her easy chair, 
 alone with me, she said, in a deliberate way: 
 "Pa, I have been thinking about my dying so 
 young, and I am sure God knows what is best 
 for me. I am too weak to meet the dangers to 
 which I might be exposed in the woi'ld. It is 
 better that I should go now." 
 
 A few mornings before her departure, after 
 a night in which she had had little rest, lifting 
 her emaciated arm from her bed, she cried out, 
 "This poor arm! this poor arm! it is so tired!" 
 
 " My darling," I said, " soon you will be where 
 the inhabitant shall no more say, 'I am sick,' 
 and where the weary shall be at rest. Isn't the 
 prospect pleasant ? " 
 
 •"Oh! delightful! delightful!" she answered, 
 with rapture in her tone ; and in a day or two 
 more she left us, and went, all alone, to be with 
 God. 
 
 That vivid phrase, "alone with God," the 
 cry of a startled soul, has been ringing in my 
 ears ever since I heard it, and I think will live 
 in my memory to my dying day. It shall re-
 
 Tribulation. 117 
 
 mind me of the awful presence which is always 
 with mc, and with me in sucli an intimate and 
 transcendent sense as makes all other presences 
 insignificant. I will try to find in the thought 
 of this presence an intimation of the solemn 
 import of death. It is the soul divorced from 
 every other object in the universe to stand 
 "alone with God." All that made up the 
 familiar environment of life retires as man 
 steps upon that unfamiliar territory claimed 
 by death. The foot of friendship, of parental 
 love, is arrested at its border. The sceptre 
 and the hand that wielded it part company 
 there. The conjugal bond which made of 
 twain one is sundered there, and the " one " 
 is riven into the "twain" again. The terras 
 "property" and "owner" lose their signifi- 
 cance there, and all to which the dying man 
 gave the title "mine" floats from his grasp 
 into that of another. Every attachment, ever}^ 
 interest which made him a part of this world, 
 relaxes its hold. A^isibly to the observers, as 
 the ship loosed from its moorings drifts out 
 into the shoreless sea, he is borne farther and 
 farther from the reach and sight of all human 
 associations, and in the great expanse into which 
 he is gliding the mind recognizes nothing but 
 God. The blank caused by the dissolution of
 
 118 Extracts from ax Elder's Diary. 
 
 all earthly alliances brings out with a distinct- 
 ness which every one feels the one indissoluble 
 alliance which binds the creature to the Crea- 
 tor. Death is the dying of everything else to 
 man but God ; for he survives when everything 
 else perishes. 
 
 The overwhelming force of this thought of 
 the loneliness of the meeting of the departing 
 soul with God was never so impressed upon 
 my mind as by the pathetic utterance of my 
 child. Such a presence, so dreadfully majestic; 
 such holiness, so infinitely opposed to all human 
 infirmity and sin ; such knowledge, from which 
 no fault can be concealed ; such power, before 
 which mortal prowess can no more brace itself 
 than the leaf can against the hurricane — who 
 can anticipate a meeting with all this without 
 a sinking heart? 
 
 And then, let me remember, that what is true 
 of the moment of dying is true of all life. In 
 the loneliness of death we are onl}' discovering 
 by a change in our point of view what has 
 always existed. For are we not " all alone 
 with God," in our several relationship and re- 
 sponsibility, at every step in our course, as 
 truly as we are at the last? Is he not the one 
 being Avith whom, beyond all other commun- 
 ings and transactings, we "have to do"?
 
 Tribulation. 119 
 
 " Whither shall I flee from thy presence ? " 
 asks the Psalmist. God so encompassinij; mau 
 necessarily makes a solitude around him ; that 
 is, he so fills the sphere occupied by his 
 presence that nothing else can, or dare, appear 
 within it. When he speaks, the earth is com- 
 manded to keep silence. Before him no other 
 god is to live. No object can dii^de man's 
 trust, or love, or homage, or worship, with 
 God. There is always, amidst the countless 
 associations of life, an innermost circle, closer 
 to the individual than any other by which he 
 is united to the world, in which God is speak- 
 ing, and in which he reveals himself to sight. 
 And there no other being can be seen, no 
 other voice can be heard. It is the infinite 
 unit clasping the finite unit, a Horeb spot 
 where the Lord meets Moses " all alone." The 
 fellowships of earth may blind the eyes of men 
 to this fact. They maj^ divert their minds 
 from it till the solitude of the death-bed forces 
 it upon their gaze. But they do not reverse 
 the fact. It is still true, that living as well as 
 dying, we are " all alone with God." 
 
 Thank God such tremendous thoughts do 
 not exhaust the meaning of the phrase. There 
 is a sense in which solitary association with 
 God becomes a precious solace for the loss
 
 120 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 and pain involved in the desolating experi- 
 ences to wliicli life is subject. If God is pro- 
 pitiated towards us, and we can rejoice in the 
 adoption of his sons, what happier condition 
 can be conceived of than to be " all alone " 
 with him? He is the all-sufficient one; and 
 with him, sharing his all-sufficiency with us, 
 what good, can we want, what evil can we 
 fear? Surely it is the climax of bliss to be all 
 alone with those whom love has made one with 
 us. We realize then, in all its sweetness, the 
 fact that they are ours, and we are theirs. 
 The Christian, shorn of his worldly wealth, or 
 bereft of the fond companionships which once 
 garlanded his home, is still able to feel, in all 
 the bitterness of his loneliness, that though the 
 vanishing joys, of earth have left him alone, 
 they have still left him "alone with God." 
 Jesus has taught us the blessed secret of so 
 living all alone with God that Ave shall not be 
 afraid even to die all alone with him. For he 
 is our propitiation, who has changed for us 
 "the terror of the Lord" into the rapture 
 which can exclaim, "I am persuaded that 
 neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor princi- 
 palities, nor powers, nor things present, nor 
 things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any 
 other creature, shall be able to separate us
 
 Tribulation. 121 
 
 from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus 
 our Lord i " 
 
 My thoughts on this sad night have been 
 almost beyond my control. It is not I who 
 am speaking, but a dying child addressing a 
 smitten father's heart. O merciful God, grant 
 that in all time to come the remembrance of 
 my lost darling — my evening star which has set 
 to us to shine in a purer hemisphere — may lead 
 me to live more closely, more truly, " alone 
 with thee!"
 
 EXTRACT XVI I. 
 
 SESSION MEETINGS. 
 
 October 10, 1881. — Our new pastor, Rev. Mr. 
 
 W , is very rigid in enforcing upon bis 
 
 co-presbyters in the session their obligations 
 as rulers in the house of God. He gathers us 
 together in monthly meetings, and insists upon 
 regularity and punctuality in our attendance. 
 The meetings are not a new feature in our prac- 
 tice, but the insistance upon fidelity in attending 
 them may be called an innovation or, perhaps, 
 
 reformation. Our old pastor, Dr. N , 
 
 was naturally accomraodating, and in his latter 
 years grew lax in his regimen, so that our ses- 
 sional conferences were only occasionally held. 
 
 I, for one, feel that I am experiencing the 
 
 benefit of the new order of things. Mr. W 
 
 finds many matters requiring attention in our 
 system of church work. It is like repairing an 
 old house. The process is a sort of endless 
 chain. Each improvement reveals the necessity 
 for another. Our vigilant moderator always 
 has a budget, of more or less length, prescrib- 
 ing things to be discussed and done, so that 
 122
 
 Session Meetings. 123 
 
 our meetings are never idle seasons. There 
 are very few engagements of a secnlar kind 
 that I do not feel willing to give np in order 
 to be present at these monthly assemblies. 
 
 Mr. W 's method is to combine the 
 
 devotional with the practical in the conduct of 
 them. We meet as an official, and not merely 
 social body, and, of course, open and close with 
 prayer. Between these prescribed exercises, 
 when some perplexing subject is under discus- 
 sion, or the serious course our thoughts and 
 utterances have taken warrant it, he calls upon 
 some member to offer prayer, as a plea for 
 guidance, or an expression of feeling. This 
 plan, I fancy, keeps us more sensibly under 
 the conviction that the presence of the Holy 
 Spirit, which we formally ask for at the outset, 
 is a blessing actually vouchsafed to us. Our 
 regular order is — 
 
 First, To dispatch matters of business, which 
 are strictly pursued, and, if piacticable, brought 
 to a conclusion. Here our shrewd president 
 holds the scales firmly in his hands, and sees 
 to it that no irrelevant weights are throAvn into 
 them. I have begun to suspect that a Presby- 
 terian tongue, under the excitement of a debate, 
 needs, like the ship, when " driven by fierce 
 winds," to be " turned about with a very small
 
 124 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 helm withersoever the governor Ksteth." I 
 have amused myself sometimes in thinking I 
 could see the peculiarities of the original disci- 
 ples reproduced, in a small way, in our little 
 circle. To-night we had under consultation 
 the starting of a new mission in a destitute 
 part of our city. The pastor was interested in 
 it, and was pleading earnestly for an effort on 
 the part of our church to supply this spiritually 
 famishing multitude with bread. There was 
 Thomas, listening incredulously, and respond- 
 ing promptly, ''Why, Mr. "W , I could as 
 
 soon believe that we are able to raise the dead 
 as to christianize this people." There was 
 practical and cautious Philip suggesting, " Two 
 hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient 
 for them, that every one of them may take a 
 little." There was Andrew, with sympathy in 
 his tone, saying, "I know where I can lay my 
 hand on five barley-loaves and two small fishes. 
 But what are they among so many?" There 
 was his brother, Peter, ready to plunge head- 
 long into the enterprise, regardless of all diffi- 
 culties and risks, because, he said, "he heard 
 his Master speaking to him out of the dark and 
 bidding him come." There w^as John, with a 
 glow upon his face, remonstrating tenderly, 
 " Beloved, if God so loved us we ought also to
 
 Session Meetings. 125 
 
 love one another." There was rugged James, 
 hurling out his impatience in the question, " If a 
 brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily- 
 food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in. 
 peace, be ye warmed and filled ; notwithstand- 
 ing ye give them not those things which are 
 needful to the body; what doth it profit?" 
 There was Matthew, the financier, saying no- 
 thing, but busy calculating in his mind the 
 incomes of various church members and trying 
 to apportion a tax upon each, which might 
 furnish the means required to begin the mis- 
 sion. Others sat silent, staggered by the evi- 
 dent importance of the scheme, on the one 
 hand, and by the apparent impracticableness of 
 it on the other. 
 
 Mr. W waited till this explosion had 
 
 exhausted itself, and then quietly remarked, 
 "Brethren, we have forgotten the resources 
 which lie in the hands of him who has said to 
 us, 'Give ye them to eat.' Let us praj' over 
 the matter, and take it up again at our next 
 meeting." 
 
 Such diversities do not impair the harmony 
 of our intercourse. They impart a sort of 
 vivacity to what is often very prosaic work. 
 They probably make more manifest the spirit 
 of concord which really lies behind them; and
 
 126 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 they certainly show that charitable friction raay 
 be the means of evolving light. 
 
 Second, in order, comes what I may call a 
 free conversation on the state of religion in our 
 church. We are, each one, expected to give 
 our impressions of things favorable or un- 
 favorable in this condition, to answer the 
 question from our difterent points of view, 
 "Watchman, what of the night?" to suggest 
 methods for fostering the good seed and eradi- 
 cating the tares which the enemy may have 
 been sowing, and, generally, to get such an 
 intelligent conception of the state of our field 
 as may enable us to understand the work which 
 is given us to do. 
 
 Third, if time allows, we engage in what I 
 believe is called now-a-days a symposium, in 
 which doctrinal subjects, the action of church 
 courts, the phases of the religious world, ques- 
 tions of ecclesiastical policy, the significance 
 of the signs of the times from the pretentious 
 "higher criticism" down to the right of women 
 to play pastor and evangelist, and of children 
 to lead the crusade of the church against an 
 unbelieving world — all are discussed with re- 
 sults which are often positively edifying, and 
 sometimes possibly mystifying. 
 
 One thing I may say gratefully, that at these
 
 Session Meetings. 127 
 
 conferences, while we are not expected to ex- 
 pose our particular "personal experiences," we 
 are often led to form a better estimate of what 
 our experiences, as spiritual men and office- 
 bearers in the church of Christ, ought to be; 
 and I am satisfied that if the elders of a church, 
 in some such way, " spake often one to 
 another," they Avould find that the Lord had 
 heard them and graciously blessed their com- 
 munings.
 
 EXTRACT XVIII. 
 
 SOCIABILITY. 
 
 Novemher 9, 1881. — I am obliged, often, now- 
 a-days, to admit that the physical frame fails to 
 give support to the behests of the \\dll, and the 
 cravings of the heart, as it has been wont to do 
 in past years. I detect this enfeeblement in 
 many directions. I am made aware of it, per- 
 haps, most painfully, in the dimness which has 
 fallen upon my eyesight, by which the discrimi- 
 native power of the organ has been impaired. 
 A confused vision makes it difficult for me to 
 recognize readily the persons, even friends, 
 whom I meet on the street. This disability 
 necessarily produces, to some extent, a change 
 of manner, which is not always understood by 
 those before w*hom it is exhibited. It includes 
 in it an apparent lack of spontaneity, cordiality, 
 or warmtli, in my address. It means the ab- 
 sence of a salutation where one was expected, 
 the icy rebuff which chills the kindly glow which 
 was Avarming another heart, the appearance 
 of indiffei'ence to one's kind, which is resented 
 as an offence to itself by a generous nature. It 
 is a feature which, I am sure, is foreign to my 
 128
 
 Sociability. 129 
 
 disposition and habit. It lias thrown an ob- 
 struction, which I seriously deplore, in the way 
 of my intercourse with my neighbors. I have 
 always taken pleasure in the thought that I 
 was possessed in a fair degree of the virtue of 
 sociability, and that I was endowed with a 
 good measure of aptness in expressing it. My 
 acquaintance with my townsmen has been 
 large, and there have been few among them 
 whom I could not approach with an air of 
 familiarity and accost in a tone of kindness. 
 This general relationship has been a source of 
 gratification to me, and I have regarded it as a 
 talent which I could use with some effect for 
 the credit, and, perhaps, the propagation of 
 religion. I have heard it related of an old 
 professor in a theological institution, that he 
 used to say to his students, "Young gentle- 
 men, in doing good, don't be afraid of putting 
 too many irons in the fire." This that I am 
 referring to may be a small iron, but it may be 
 the medium of conveying the heat which shall 
 convert ore into gold. 
 
 I am sure that an elder in a church will need 
 to have his tools well tempered, and the limbs 
 which use them well oiled with this virtue, in 
 order to be a cunning workman. I have never 
 forgotten a rather brusque salutation I received 
 9
 
 130 EXTKACTS FROM AN ElDER's DiARY. 
 
 soon after I was ordaiued from a lawyer of our 
 town, " Well," he said, "I hear they have been 
 making an elder of you. I am glad I shall now 
 know one of your class of whom I shall not be 
 afraid. When I was a little boy, and a Sunday- 
 school scholar at that, I once got into a brawl, 
 and almost a fight, with a young companion, 
 on the square where we had been pla^dng. 
 
 Old Mr. B , an elder in your church, 
 
 who happened to be passing, rushed at us with 
 a roar, seized me with one hand and my antag- 
 onist with the other, shook us, and ordered us 
 off to our homes. The next day my father 
 called me into his room, told me that he had 
 been informed that I had been disgracing 
 myself by fighting on the street, and gave me 
 a whipping. From that time my idea of a 
 Presbyterian elder has been that of a Rhada- 
 manthus, with a scowl on his face, a rebuke on 
 his tongue, and a lash in his hand. I hope 
 you will be a better representative of your 
 order." And so I determined to be, and have 
 religiously tried to be. 
 
 I have cultivated sociability. It is unfortu- 
 nate when it has to be cultivated, and I was 
 blessed in having a large stock of it infused 
 into my natural disposition. But it can be 
 cultivated, and perhaps in every case requires
 
 Sociability. 131 
 
 some traiuing and regulatiug; for if a lack of 
 it be a fault, it may run into a fault through 
 excess. I think I have known some minis- 
 ters who have depreciated the dignity of their 
 office, and their personal influence, by an 
 undue effort to adapt themselves to every 
 social circle into which they might b^ thrown. 
 The proper desire to affiliate with a cheerful 
 company ma}' lead a man of lively tempera- 
 ment into what the Scripture calls "foolish 
 talking and jesting," and into such a free use 
 of joke and anecdote as may sink the charac- 
 ter of the teacher of religion into that of the 
 humorist. Certainly, there is need for study, 
 even in the exercise of a gift or virtue which, 
 more than all other things, requires to be wi- 
 studied. The study demanded, I imagine, must 
 begin with a man's own heart and conscience, 
 with a desire to act "worthy of his vocation" 
 as a Christian, and to exhibit at all times that 
 sanctified kindness which aims to do a person 
 good, while it furnishes him with entertain- 
 ment. It would be a happy attainment if we 
 could always so conduct our intercourse with 
 our fellowmen that it should in every case be 
 followed by the remark which we sometimes 
 hear, "I always feel better when I have been 
 with that man."
 
 132 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 I have been a long time in the world, and 
 my association has been with men all my life; 
 and I believe the shrewdest of them will be 
 affected materially by the testimony of their 
 senses in their estimate of those with whom 
 they are dealing. I know it is true, as the 
 Bible says, that a man's " words may be softer 
 than oil," and yet be as deadly as the "drawn 
 swords of an enemy " ; and yet every one knows 
 that "words softer than oil" are the genuine 
 symbol of kindly dispositions and are so ac- 
 cepted everywhere. The inner man, the invisi- 
 ble spirit which makes the man, is constantly 
 revealing its states and experiences by the 
 phases of the outer man. A tear, a smile, a 
 frown, a gesture, are exponents to us of great 
 commotions in the soul, and are terms used by 
 us to describe amplitudes and abysses of feel- 
 ing for which we have no other adequate vo- 
 cabulary. So, manner, address has its force in 
 life, and is not to be overlooked as a part of 
 the endowment which the Christian worker 
 needs. Sociabilitj', discreetly exercised, will 
 be taken as an index of commendable qualities 
 within the man, and the absence of it will affix 
 a sinister aspect to his character. I have 
 found it, if I am not mistaken, a key to the 
 confidence and good-will of my fellowmen. Tt
 
 Sociability. 133" 
 
 has gained for me the credit of being essen- 
 tially friendly and sympathetic, and on the 
 basis of this conviction they have allowed me, 
 in many instances, to remind them of their 
 faults, and even to urge upon them the claims 
 of religion. Men, when their nature is acting 
 in a healthy way, love to traist, as the flower 
 loves to bask in the rays of the sun ; and to 
 trust is to give to a thing the validity of truth, 
 and to use it as a true thing. And so, I think, 
 when you can get a person to trust you, specifi- 
 cally as a Christian man, you have gone a con- 
 siderable way in winning him to an assent to 
 the truth of the Christian religion. Impres- 
 sions, which are sensible, or which are ex- 
 cited by outward causes, may penetrate to the 
 spiritual region, and awaken con^'ictious and 
 affections which are spiritual in their nature. 
 I do not know that I should be extravagant if 
 I should place a wise practice of sociability 
 among the means of grace. And the young 
 are especially susceptible to the influence of an 
 exhibition of it. They love to be promptly 
 recognized and kindly addressed by older per- 
 sons; to be called familiarly by their names; 
 to be made to feel that the}' are of some im- 
 portance in the eyes of their seniors ; and they 
 are strengthened in their eflbrts at right-doing,
 
 134 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 and their struggles against temptation to do 
 \vTong, by knowing that there are other hearts 
 concerned in their triumphs and their defeats. 
 A warm grasp of the hand may liave the effect 
 to withdraw some feeble soul from the -pit-fall 
 into which it is about to step, and a cordial 
 reminder of a Heavenly Father's love may apply 
 the check to the prurient appetites of the in- 
 cipient prodigal. 
 
 The word " churl " is an odious one, and 
 the character which it describes is one Avhich 
 assuredly has no affinity with the family of 
 God, and is sadly out of place among the 
 officers of his house. May the Lord forbid 
 that this waning eye-sight, the thought of 
 which has led me into this train of reflection, 
 should expose me, through any apparent neg- 
 lect of courtesy and kindness in my treatment 
 of my fellowmen, to the suspicion of belonging 
 to the class which it denotes !
 
 EXTRACT XIX. 
 
 CHURCH DISCIPLINE. 
 
 May 22, 1882. — At several of our late meet- 
 ings of session we have been painfully con- 
 fronted with questions touching the exercise of 
 discipline in our church. Certain cases of 
 irregularity in the walk of some of our mem- 
 bers have been brought to our notice, some of 
 which we are constrained to believe are true. 
 It is not pleasant to deal with these offenders, 
 even in the way of rebuke and admonition, 
 which we all admit to be proper. For this, we 
 have made provision, and have reason to hope 
 that, in some cases, our kindly remonstrances 
 have been effectual in abating the evil. Others 
 seem to some of our number of such a flagrant 
 character as to call for judicial action. We 
 have stood at the door of this appalling proce- 
 dure for mouths without venturing across the 
 threshold. We have sighed over the faults of 
 our erring brethren. We have deplored the scan- 
 dal inflicted on the church by their malfeasance. 
 We have said something ought to be done to 
 vindicate the credit of religion and maintain the 
 185
 
 136 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 purity of our household life. \Ve have heard 
 the voice of the great Lawgiver, saying, let 
 the man who will not amend his wrong-doing 
 upon private intercession, nor upon the judg- 
 ment of the church, "be unto thee as a heathen 
 man and a publican," and St. Paul saying of 
 the unclean man at Corinth, " Put away from 
 among yourselves that wicked person." We 
 have studied the fifteen chapters and forty-three 
 pages of our Book of Church Order, prescrib- 
 ing the "Rules of Discipline," and our minds 
 are staggered at the terrible task that seems to 
 be set before us. The sentiments disclosed by 
 our discussions have shown a disposition to 
 evade, if possible, the stern reqiiirements of 
 these rules of discipline. 
 
 At our last meeting, when this subject was 
 under consideration, one member remarked, 
 "To my mind these rules are bristling all over 
 with the terms and technicalities of a criminal 
 code. They suggest the methods of a "court 
 of assize " rather than those of a council of 
 saints. Such words as "indictment," "cita- 
 tion," "prosecutor," "accuser and accused," 
 "offence," "censure" and "excommunication," 
 seem strangely out of place in the law of a spir- 
 itual commonwealth ; and I confess that only 
 some desperate necessity, like that which calls
 
 Church Discipline. 137 
 
 for the use of a surgeon's instrument, could 
 reconcile me to the processes they describe." 
 
 Another expressed himself in this wise : " The 
 execution of these rules is an impossibility. 
 You have no authority by which you can en- 
 force them. Your criminals and your witnesses 
 will laugh at your citations. You have no state 
 now backing up church courts with threats of 
 fine and imprisonment. The day when the 
 ghostly power of Rome could bring mouarchs 
 to a bishop's feet is past. The democratic 
 spirit of the age is revolting against the claim 
 of rulership wherever such revolt is possible. 
 The man who has allowed himself to become 
 defiled with an 'offence' is not likely to con- 
 sent to have his fault publicly exposed ; nor is 
 he likely, as it seems to me, to be reformed by 
 being so disgraced." 
 
 A third objected to church trials on the 
 ground that they almost invariably produce 
 discords and resentments by which the whole 
 body is injured, and particular members, per- 
 haps, fatally damaged; and sustained his ob- 
 jection by the householder's answer to his 
 servants in the parable of the wheat and the 
 tares, that they should refrain from attempting 
 to gather out the tares, but rather should let 
 both grow together until harvest, lest in the
 
 138 Extracts prom an Elder's Diary. 
 
 endeavor to rid the field oi the tares they 
 should "root up also the wheat with them." 
 "It is poor policy," he added, "to blow up 
 your house with dynamite in order to purge it 
 of the filth that had got lodged in some of its 
 closets." 
 
 A fourth was of the opinion that the Saviour 
 had given us a clear intimation of a distinction 
 between the spirit of his economy and that of 
 the Mosaic law, when, in the Gospel of John, 
 chapter viii., he said to the adulterous woman, 
 who by the latter would have been stoned to 
 death, " neither do I condemn thee ; go and 
 sin no more." 
 
 Still another observed that, to his view, the 
 scandal from which it was proposed to relieve 
 the church by the prosecution of offenders was 
 an imaginary rather than a real object. " For," 
 he argued, "if the scandal lies in the detriment 
 which is done to the good character of the 
 church, it amounts to nothing. Every fair 
 man knows that a heresy or an immorality is 
 not a normal index of the character of a 
 church. The very fact that it is marked as an 
 irregular and reprehensible thing shows that 
 it is at variance with the recognized character 
 of the church and with the nature of religion. 
 The presence of a few black sheep in a flock
 
 Church Discipline. 139 
 
 would not prove that the breed was not specifi- 
 cally white; and those who point to an intem- 
 perate or dishonest man in a church and cry, 
 * See what these Christians' pretensions amount 
 to,' know that thej are uttering a fallacy, and 
 that these exceptional types are not genuine 
 representatives of Christian character. The 
 crooked limb is noticed because of its diverse- 
 uess from the general symmetry of the tree; 
 and fiirther," he added, " I very much suspect 
 that the heated tempers, the indiscreet words, 
 the collisions of feeling which are apt to be 
 engendered by a chiirch trial, may produce 
 scandals possibly worse in virulence and more 
 lasting in duration than those which the court 
 was called to avert." 
 
 Evidently, the drift of opinion at our pro- 
 tracted conference was not leading us to any 
 practical conclusion. And after each one had 
 contributed his share to the fog in which we 
 were involved, our clear-headed pastor closed 
 the discussion, and gave us a little tangible 
 ground to rest our minds upon in a short ad- 
 dress. "Brethren," he said, "it has seemed to 
 me that the jurisprudence of our church has 
 been under trial to-night rather than oifenders 
 against its morals or its doctrinal standards. 
 I wish a judicial system, free from the objec-
 
 140 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 tions which have fallen like a fusilade from 
 your lips, against our present one, could be 
 devised. But the law has been made for us, 
 as a church, by those who were authorized to 
 make it, and we have accepted it. Until it is 
 changed by a similar authority, we must abide 
 by it, and trj- to maintain it. There must be a 
 law in all organized bodies. It is the principle 
 Tipon which their corporate life depends. Our 
 church is right in asserting a power of juris- 
 diction as a part of its function. This includes 
 in it the right to suppress, as far as it can, 
 whatever is fatal to the existence of the church, 
 provided the methods are sanctioned by the 
 word of God. Extreme discipline may be ad- 
 ministered in extreme cases. The exercise of 
 it must be justified by an obvious necessity. 
 This idea is recognized in our Book of Ordei'. 
 It teaches, just as distinctly, that discipline is 
 never to be administered in the spirit of wrath 
 or of personal animosity. The motives must 
 be fidelity to the church's head, and love for 
 the souls of its members. The rules we have 
 been commenting upon are really meant, by 
 the precision and amplitude with which they 
 are stated, to make plain the intricacies of a 
 delicate procedure, to avoid embarrassment and 
 mistake, and to secure, as far as forethought
 
 Church Discipline. 141 
 
 can do it, complete justice to all the parties 
 interested. 
 
 " My private desire would incline me, perhaps, 
 to simplify methods of adjudication and to dis- 
 pense with much of the harsh terminology and 
 rigid formality which now give to a church 
 court so much the look of a secular criminal 
 tribunal. Especially would I like to see these 
 family grievances disposed of more strictly 
 within the family walls, and the humiliating 
 exposures involved in the trial of offenders and 
 the infliction of censure eliminated from our 
 practice. 
 
 " Happily for us, my brethren, I honestly do 
 not see, in any of the cases brought before us, 
 that there is a necessity for a resort to the pain- 
 ful extremity of a judicial process. We may 
 safely wait for a return of a right mind to our 
 delinquent brethren. We can yet pursue them 
 with our kind expostulations. We can yet 
 pray for their recovery from their wanderings. 
 In the meantime, there are, possibly, some 
 faults of our own, which the consideration of 
 our present trouble may properly bring to our 
 attention. 
 
 "First of all, let iis ask if the lapse of these 
 fallen kinsmen might not have been averted if 
 we had been vigilant enough in noticing the be-
 
 142 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 ginnings of their decline, and prompt enough in 
 going to them with our fraternal warnings and 
 admonitions. The elders, who are among the 
 people, should show their fidelity as watchmen 
 by watching closely over the first haltings of 
 the weak and tempted disciple, and checking 
 his downward way before the momentum has 
 become irresistible. 
 
 "And second, may we not learn a lesson as to 
 caution in receiving members into the church ? 
 I am convinced we are betrayed into an error 
 by our zeal to witness numerical accessions 
 to the memberhip of our churches. Quality, 
 not quantity, is the thing to be looked at mainly 
 in gathering materials for the upbuilding of the 
 kingdom of God. A spiritual temple grows 
 only by the addition of 'lively stones.' 
 
 "Third, Let us remind one another, as we 
 separate, of the prophet's counsel, 'If the 
 watchman see the sword coming, and blow not 
 the trumpet, and the people be not warned; 
 if the sword come and take any person from 
 among them, he is taken away in his iniquity, 
 but his blood will I require at the watchman's 
 hand.' " 
 
 "Now, let us pray and be dismissed!"
 
 EXTRACT XX. 
 
 SOVEREIGN GRACE. 
 
 Sunday, August 10, 1884. — My services have 
 been required recently in administering counsel 
 in a case of spiritual need, where extreme deli- 
 cacy was called for in the method of address, 
 and where the result has been, to all appear- 
 ance, signally gratifying. Believing, as all 
 Bible Christians must, that there is a birth of 
 the Spirit as real as is the birth of nature, 
 many of us, probably, are still wont to couple 
 with our belief of the fact a conception as to 
 what the mode of it ought to be, and to found 
 this conception on the precedents which re- 
 ligious biographies have presented to us, or on 
 conclusions drawn fi'om the so-called laws of 
 mind. There is an overlooking here of the 
 illimitable scope of the operations of such an 
 agent as the Holy Spirit, a fault of which the 
 Saviour forewarns us when he draws a parallel 
 between these operations and the movements 
 of the wind blowing " where it listeth." I have 
 received a great enlargement of vision on this 
 subject by what I have been called to witness. 
 Salvation, in the case of a sinner, is the result 
 143
 
 144 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 of the pure grace of God. It must be so, be- 
 cause the sinner is not entitled to it, and God 
 is under no obligation to grant it. How many 
 precious hopes in regard to the departed are 
 born of this doctrine ! The exercises of a 
 dying hour are not always illusory. Grace can 
 perform its regenerating work whenever and 
 wherever God is pleased to bestow his mercy. 
 It is the height of presumption for living men 
 to hang their hope of salvation upon the oppor- 
 tunities of a death-bed, but it would be limit- 
 ing the grace of God to deny that even upon 
 this extreme field it can achieve its victories 
 and win its trophies. 
 
 The case which has awakened these reflec- 
 tions was that of a young man who was to-day 
 carried to his grave. I was doubly attached to 
 him because his father, deceased some years 
 ago, was my particular friend, and because I 
 had seen his youth spring up into a maturity 
 of almost chivalric proportions. In person he 
 was well-formed and graceful, with a hand- 
 some countenance and a winning address. 
 Good social position and adequate means had 
 furnished him with refinement, and culture. 
 With the avidity of an enthusiastic nature, he 
 saw and coveted the enchantments which lay 
 everywhere within his bright horizon. Every
 
 Sovereign Grace. 145 
 
 avenue which stretched before him was begirt 
 with flowers, and every flower sparkled with a 
 dew-drop. It was the spectacle of a young 
 eagle waving his burnished wing in the morn- 
 ing sunbeam. In such an element it is not 
 strange that serious reflections were banished, 
 and the restraints of religion discarded. He 
 was gay, worldly-minded, but not vicious. The 
 cup of earthly pleasure mantled so brightly in 
 his hand that in the rapture with which he 
 quaffed its contents he discovered no evil in 
 the draught, and felt no need of a higher good. 
 No one dreamed that there was an arrow 
 making its way unseen through the air tow^ards 
 this "shining mark." But it was so. Just as 
 he approached the point of manhood, a blight, 
 from some subtle source, revealed itself in that 
 goodly frame. Organic troubles of a compli- 
 cated sort began to make alarming havoc of its 
 beauty and its strength. He struggled against 
 the mysterious foe, wearied himself in seeking, 
 in every quarter, medical aid and in visiting 
 health resorts, till heart-sick with prolonged dis- 
 appointment, he turned his feet back to the 
 seat of home-life and sympathy. All others saw 
 that he must die. From his own eye, as is 
 common in such cases, the issue was con- 
 cealed ; and the rally, the rebound into health, 
 10
 
 146 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 was, almost to the last, the object of his definite 
 expectation. 
 
 He desired mj' visits and I saw him fre- 
 quently. I deemed it most proper, in my ear- 
 lier interviews with him, not to dissipate his 
 hopes of recovery. I preferred to present the 
 subject of religion to him as something con- 
 nected with life, rather than as a mere antidote 
 to death; and it gave me special confidence in 
 the genuineness of the convictions and feelings 
 afterwards expressed by him that they were 
 not forced into existence by the terror of the 
 apprehended catastrophe. In my endeavor to 
 introduce the subject to him I found, to my 
 surprise, that the work, to a great extent, had 
 already been done. "My sickness," he said to 
 me, "has been sent upon me to make me think 
 of God and see the folly of a worldl}' life." 
 And then he added, " There is more than folly 
 in such a life — there is sin." 
 
 Conscience, enlightened by early religious 
 instruction, or rather, let me say, the Spirit of 
 God, had been busy revealing to him his guilti- 
 ness under the law of God, and preparing him 
 for a recognition of his need of Christ as a 
 Saviour from sin and the appointed way to the 
 Father. In that venture of faith by which the 
 soul rests upon Christ in these characters, by
 
 Sovereign Ghace. 147 
 
 a conscious act of appropriatiug confidence, he 
 hesitated for a while, hut onl}' for a while. The 
 darkness in which, for a time, he groped, yielded 
 easily to a presentation of the doctrines and 
 promises of the gospel; and gradually, as the 
 dawning light, the assurance, "Jesus loves me, 
 even me," took possession of his heart. Hence- 
 forth, the expectation of a return to the world 
 which he still cherished was coupled with the 
 desire of consecrating his life to the serving 
 and glorifying of his Saviour. 
 
 "You will not be ashamed of Jesus, if God 
 spares you to mingle again with your friends ? " 
 I asked. 
 
 "No," Avas his emphatic reply; "I want to 
 live tliat I may testify of him." 
 
 The fatal crisis came sooner, and more 
 abruptl}^, than any one had anticipated. Every 
 one about him was startled when the sudden 
 premonitions announced its approach. He 
 alone was calm. In an instant, without a 
 struggle or sign of regret, the hope of life 
 which had buoyed him was surrendered. " I 
 am dying," he said, "but I am ready — I am 
 willing;" and then added, "send for the 
 doctor, that he may relieve me of suffering. 
 But Christ is with me, and will bear me to 
 the bosom of God." As an aged relative,
 
 148 EXTRATCS FROM AN ElDER's DiARY. 
 
 whose deafness prevented him from hearing 
 his whispered utterances, approached his bed- 
 side, he lifted his arm and pointed upward. 
 Fearing that his gesture had not been under- 
 stood, he added, "Tell him I am going to 
 heaven, redeemed by the blood of Jesus." 
 
 His remaining hours were spent in giving 
 expression to his parting wishes and counsels, 
 and when all was done he said to a beloved 
 friend who was bending over him, "Now, pray 
 that God may let me pass away in unconscious- 
 ness or sleep ! " And turning his face from the 
 weeping throng before him, in a moment he 
 lapsed into a repose as gentle as an infant's 
 slumber. Whether he was unconscious or 
 asleep, no one knew; but all felt, when, a little 
 after, the spirit was known to have gone, that 
 the pitying Father had heard the cry of his 
 child, and sent the dread messenger to do his 
 work with a veiled face and a muffled footstep. 
 
 To us who saw this history evolving itself 
 in its successive stages, the conclusion was 
 irresistible and was spontaneously expressed, 
 " This is none other than a literal verification 
 of the wonderful declaration, 'As many as re- 
 ceived him, to them gave he power to become 
 the sons of God, even to them that believe on 
 his name ; which were born, not of blood, nor
 
 Sovereign Grace. 149 
 
 of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, 
 but of God.'" A divine power, prior to, and 
 apart from, all human agency, we had not a 
 doubt, had wrought at every step in showing 
 this soul the path of life. And grace, so great 
 and so condescending are the tender mercies 
 of our God, had deigned even to cause the 
 harsh gate of death to turn on noiseless hinges 
 for the exit of this trembling "little one." 
 
 Surely, I may adopt with renewed confidence 
 the apostle's creed, "By grace are ye saved, 
 through faith ; and that, not of yourselves, it is 
 the gift of God."
 
 EXTRACT XXI. 
 
 SPIRITUAL COMMUNICATIONS. 
 
 Sunday, March 1, 1885. — We bad a sermon 
 to-daj from our pastor, which has been to me 
 unusuall}' rich, both in instruction and in sug- 
 gestion. It was from the text, John xiv. 26, 
 "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, 
 whom the Father will send in my name, he 
 shall teach you all things, and bring all things 
 to your remembrance whatsoever I have said 
 unto you." It was clear, like the view one gets 
 from a mountain top, in the revelation it gave 
 us of the -field which lay within the limits of 
 our vision ; at the same time it showed us, in 
 the spaces beyond, vast stretches of heights 
 and depths, which we could only dimly descry. 
 It has brought to my recollection some facts 
 which have lately come under my notice, and 
 which have led me into a good deal of serious 
 reflection, and, perhaps, I might add, specula- 
 tion. 
 
 An excellent lady, whom I knew and esteemed 
 very highly, both for her personal charms and 
 for the ornament of a bright Christian charac- 
 150
 
 Spiritual Communications. 151 
 
 ter, had been prostrated for a long time with a 
 pulmonary affection, in a city south of us where 
 she resided. Her husband was engaged in mer- 
 cantile business, and was required frequently 
 in the interests of his house to make excursions 
 into the interior of the country. Her decline 
 was so gradual that he felt at liberty to con- 
 tinue these excursions, notwithstanding her ill- 
 ness. During his last absence her symptoms 
 had become alarmingly worse, and she had 
 gone to her bed, as was supposed, never to 
 leave it alive. About the same time intelli- 
 gence arrived that Mr. C , the husband, 
 
 had been attacked violently with pneumonia at 
 a little railway station where his journey had 
 led him, and had been conveyed, in a very 
 critical condition, to the residence of some re- 
 lations in the vicinity of our city. The news of 
 
 his illness was cautiously revealed to Mrs. . 
 
 She divined at once the import of it, and 
 announced her purpose to go to her husband. 
 The physician and attendants declared the 
 project impossible ; but she confidently affirmed 
 that the Lord would give her strength, and 
 directed preparations for her journey to be 
 made. Supernaturally, as it seemed, strength 
 came to her, and she made the journey, partly 
 by steamboat and partly by carriage. It was
 
 152 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 after her arrival that I first visited the afflicted 
 pair. 
 
 Mr. C. had been a man of moral habits, but 
 so devoted to his secular pursuits that the sub- 
 ject of personal religion had never attracted 
 his attention. To mj surprise, on entering the 
 sick-room, I found tjie wife, emaciated in form 
 but full of energy and apparently unconscious 
 of her own infirmities, performing, almost solely, 
 the office of nurse to her husband. He was 
 utterly prostrated, could hardly turn his head, 
 and could speak only in broken and whispered 
 sentences. Mrs. C. was singularly cheerful in 
 her manner, and after telling me of the mar- 
 vellous support she had experienced in coming 
 to her husband, said, " I knew my place was 
 liere, and something within told me that God 
 would hear my prayer and enable me to come. 
 I have a mission, I think, to lead Herbert to 
 Christ." 
 
 This introduction made it easy for me to pre- 
 sent the subject of religion to the sick man at 
 once. I did so, and spoke simply of the needs 
 of a sinful soul, of the provision which God 
 had made for these needs in the gospel, and of 
 the gracious way in which salvation was offered 
 to sinners through faith in Christ. He listened 
 silently but attentively, and with rather a dis-
 
 Spiritual Communications. 153 
 
 tressed look, remarked, " I am too weak to 
 think much of these things now, but I will try 
 to. I know they are important, and I believe 
 they are true." 
 
 I only added, "You have one with you who 
 has uot only professed religion, but lived it; 
 and she can teach it to you better than any one 
 else. She has prayers laid up in heaven for 
 man}' years for you, and is waiting to see them 
 answered." 
 
 I saw him almost every day for the next two 
 weeks, and while receiving no decided expres- 
 sion of his faith in Christ, I was sure I saw 
 signs of a penitent and believing spirit in him. 
 His wife shared with me in this opinion, "biit," 
 she would exclaim, " I long to see him have 
 the comfort of an assured hope of salvation!" 
 A night or two before his death, as she told 
 me the next morning, after lying quiet for a 
 long time, he called her and asked, "Did you 
 speak to me ? " 
 
 "No," she said, " I thought you were sleeping." 
 
 " I have not slept — I have not been dream- 
 ing," he replied, "but I heard a voice saying 
 to me, 'Go in peace, thy sins are forgiven 
 thee!' could it have been Jesus?" 
 
 "Yes," she cried, "I am sure it was Jesus 
 speaking to your soul."
 
 154 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 " And then," be continued, " I heard songs 
 away up in the sky, giving God glory for a 
 sinner who had repented. Could this have 
 been the angels rejoicing over me?" 
 
 "Oh, yes," she replied, "and your wife re- 
 joices with them." 
 
 His face was placid as I approached him, and 
 stretching out his hand to me he said, feebly 
 but distinctly, " I have given myself to Jesus, 
 and he has saved me ! " And there was another 
 one added to the rejoicing thro,ng. I felt in 
 that chamber that I was standing " quite on 
 the verge of heaven." His peaceful frame con- 
 tinued till he passed away ; and his faithful 
 wife, having seen her mission accomplished, 
 and his body laid in the grave, returned to her 
 home, and, I have learned, speedily relapsed 
 into her former diseased condition, and fol- 
 lowed her husband to the home of Jesus and 
 the angels. 
 
 Was this a freak of delirium, or the halluci- 
 nation of a fevered brain? There was no 
 evidence of an abnormal condition of mind, but, 
 on the contrary, every appearance of sobriety. 
 He was not constitutionally imaginative. He 
 had been remarkably calm throughout his sick- 
 ness. He made no allusion to his revelations 
 in talking with me, and clearly showed no dis-
 
 Spiritual Communications. 155 
 
 position to parade them. I have no philosophy 
 to apply to the facts ; but in my simple way of 
 thinking, I am more than willing to believe 
 that, on that border territory that lies between 
 the earthly and the spiritual spheres, there may 
 be such an overlapping of the two, that com- 
 munications from the spiritual side may be 
 given, and a capacity to receive them devel- 
 oj^ed, on the earthly side, by means of which, 
 things which the natural eye cannot see, and 
 the natural ear cannot hear, may be revealed 
 to a soul withdrawn, for the most part, from 
 the conditions of the earthly sphere and enter- 
 ing upon those of the spiritual one. 
 
 In my reading I have met with the phrase, 
 " the sub-conscious states of mind." The truth 
 conve^^ed by the phrase, if there be a truth in 
 it, lies so far beyond and above my plane of 
 thinking, that I am afraid to say that I have 
 a definite conception of it. I fancy that it 
 assigns to the mind, or the spiritual self, a de- 
 partment which is under or deeper than the 
 ordinary seat of consciousness. It does not 
 yield us the ordinary phenomena of conscious- 
 ness, but possesses a capacity to respond to 
 forces of an extraordinary sort, and gives us a 
 consciousness of things which lie beyond the 
 reach of natural apprehension. It is a region
 
 156 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 of potentialities which may come into acts un- 
 der special inspirations. Perhaps I may liken 
 it to an instrument of ^olian strings, a hidden 
 harp, lying in a chamber of our spiritual na- 
 ture, which is silent, unknown, till the breath 
 of some extraordinary breeze wakens it into 
 sound, voice, or song. Spiritual fingers touch 
 these strings, and, lo ! we see visions, and hear 
 music, which we never saw or heard before. 
 The fact appears, possibly, in regeneration, 
 when the new-born soul expresses itself in 
 such utterances as these : " One thing I know, 
 that whereas I was blind, now I see " ; and 
 " old things are passed away ; behold, all things 
 are become new." 
 
 Now, may not the spirit, just hovering on the 
 confines of heaven, get communications of 
 heavenly things which transcend any which can 
 come to it from the earthly side? Through 
 this mysterious sub-consciousness, may not 
 Jesus speak to his departing follower, and the 
 angels' minstrelsy float down to his ear ? I 
 feel afraid to affirm and afraid to deny. But I 
 must say, it is infinitely pleasant to me to 
 believe that heaven thus stoops down to cheer 
 the pilgrim as he enters its radiant atmosphere, 
 and that John Bunyan was not wholly dream- 
 ing when he made Christian, as he approached
 
 Spiritual Communications. 157 
 
 the Celestial City, see "shiuing ones" sent 
 forth to cheer and support him, and hear " all 
 the bells of the city ringing " to give him wel- 
 come, and the melodious noises of the King's 
 trumpeters "making the heavens to echo" with 
 their congratulations at his victory. This pic- 
 ture may be but the creation of a poet's fancy, 
 but I must confess to a wish that it were true ; 
 and to a sympathy with Bunyan when he gazes 
 enraptured at the glories of his vision and 
 wishes that he were " among them." 
 
 By a strange coincidence, I met, a few days 
 after the death of Mr. C , a case some- 
 what similar here in town. A friend of mine, a 
 man of some forty-five years of age, a scholar, 
 and a professor in an institution of learning, 
 was in the last stage of consumption. He had 
 been confined to his room for months, during 
 which I often visited him. His tastes were 
 refined and his habits correct. He made no 
 pretension to religion, in the ordinary sense of 
 the word. In a sense of his own, perhaps, he 
 called himself a religious man, for his fault 
 was self-reliance, or self-conceit. He used the 
 phrases, "I think," "I believe," as if his 
 opinions and beliefs settled for him the right 
 or wrong of any proposition. His niind was 
 an active one, and he prided himself on his
 
 158 Extracts fuom an Elder's Diary. 
 
 independent use of it. Respect for social 
 opinion led him to be a supporter of Christi- 
 anity, and an occasional attendant upon the 
 preaching of the gospel. Our pastor was ac- 
 CTistomed to say of him, that he always felt, 
 when he saw him among his hearers, that he 
 came clad in a coat of mail, so compact and pol- 
 ished that every arrow he could aim at him 
 must glance off without leaving a dint. 
 
 I liked his company, and found his conversa- 
 tion, on most subjects, instructive. In my visits 
 to him after his confinement to his sick-room, 
 I was careful, in my way of expressing myself, 
 to assume that the accepted opinions of Pro- 
 testant Christians were the truth, and to avoid 
 being led into a discussion upon them. He 
 was too courteous, generally, to introduce one. 
 He expected to get well, for he had reasoned 
 himself into the conviction that he ought to be, 
 and so must be. As time passed on, there was 
 an evident decline in his confidence, and a 
 growing seriousness in his view of things. I 
 ventured, after one of our interviews, to pro- 
 pose prayer, and his reply was, " Do pray for 
 me, for I need It." I asked him if he would 
 
 receive a visit from our minister, Mr. W , 
 
 to which he said, "Of course; tell him I shall 
 be glad to see him."
 
 Spiritual Communications, 159 
 
 Mr. W bectime iuterested iu him ; aud 
 
 in his usually discreet way, after he found that 
 his presence was agreeable to him, urged upon 
 him the claims of personal religion. He frankly 
 stated some of the views he had been wont to 
 
 hold upon this subject, to which Mr. AV 
 
 only replied, "Professor, my study and my 
 experience, too, have taught me that I am sim- 
 ply an empty vessel ; and that God is the foun- 
 tain from which I must draw my supplies, if I 
 would know the truth. Considering that, from 
 the very constitution of my nature, I must have 
 the trutli in order to be safe in this life, or in 
 any other life, I do not count it a strange thing 
 that God has furnished me with light in his 
 word, and that that word has come to me 
 through the medium of a divine revealer, such 
 as Jesus Christ claims to be. I have taken m}- 
 little bucket and gone to the fountain thus 
 opened to me, and I am sure that every need 
 has been met, every condition of my well-being 
 supplied, till the efficiency of the provision, 
 consciously revealed to me iu daily experience, 
 has become to me the best demonstration that 
 its contents are, indeed, the water of life." 
 
 The sick man only remarked, "I believe you 
 have done wisely. Look at me, a poor dying 
 imbecile, with a thousand tormentors preying
 
 160 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 upon every fibre of my body, and yet unable to 
 prevent or arrest one of tliem! Shall such a- 
 creature talk of being sufficient unto himself? 
 Yes, sir, I congratulate you!" 
 
 "My dear friend, will you not go and do 
 
 likewise?" was Mr. W 's reply, as he 
 
 left him. 
 
 It was not long before the humbled scholar 
 confessed the folly and sinfulness of his self- 
 idolatry and rejoiced in the revelation of Christ 
 his Saviour God, as the fountain whose fulness 
 could satisfy his every need. He was at his 
 own request baptized, and subsequently, in 
 company with a few friends, sealed his faith 
 by partaking of the memorial supper of the 
 Lord. 
 
 The morning of the day on which he died he 
 said to me, "I don't know what to think of it, 
 but it has seemed to me that my sainted mother, 
 who gave me to God when I was born, and 
 never ceased to pray for me, has been with me 
 all night. I knew her, she looked so natural, 
 and yet so strangely bright and beautiful. 
 "Was it an illusion ? It did not seem so to me. 
 And the sight of her has made me happier 
 than ever and anxious to go to her." 
 
 "Believe it was real, my friend," I replied, 
 "if it was au illusion, it was a prophecy. She
 
 Spiritual Communications. 161 
 
 is waiting for you, and God is telling you that 
 you shall be a little child again, by her side, in 
 your Father's house!" 
 
 These incidents, and the long list of similar 
 ones in the annals of the saints, have been of 
 unspeakable comfort to me, in abridging the 
 space between the material and the spiritual 
 worlds, and in suggesting, at least, the possi- 
 bility of communication between them. And, 
 hereafter, when I read or sing Bernard's, the 
 monk of Clugny, wonderful hymn — 
 
 " O mother dear, Jerusalem, 
 
 When shall I come to thee ? 
 When shall my soi'rows have an end? — 
 
 Thy joys, when shall I see ? 
 O happy harbor of God's saints ! 
 
 O sweet and pleasant soil ! 
 In thee no sorrows can be found, 
 
 No grief, no care, no toil," 
 
 I will feel that the dear celestial mother coun- 
 try has become more dear to me because I am 
 permitted to believe that she sends forth her 
 "ministering spirits" to sing her songs to her 
 children just falling asleep in Jesus, and allows 
 the glorified human mother to come into the 
 darkness of the dark valley to welcome a son 
 to the realms of the heavenly glory. 
 
 11
 
 EXTRACT XXII. 
 
 THE EVENTIDE. 
 
 Wednesday, December 24, 1890.— To-day I 
 commence my eightieth year. I recognize in 
 many of its particulars the correctness of the 
 pictorial description of old age in Ecclesiastes, 
 chapter xii., especially in regard to the bowing 
 of the " strong men," and the darkening of the 
 " windows." The limbs have lost their vigor 
 and elasticity, and dimness has materially im- 
 paired the outlook of the eyes. On account of 
 this latter infirmity, I shall have to abandon 
 this practice of noting the events which have 
 arrested my attention and awakened reflection 
 in my humble life, or call in the aid of an 
 amanuensis, which, I fancy, would interfere 
 with the freedom with which I have been wont 
 to indulge in my lucubrations. 
 
 I wish, at least, before I lay down my pen, to 
 make one more indorsement of the inspired 
 record that " the Lord is good, and his mercy 
 endureth forever." He has certainly dealt 
 kindly with me, and the blessing which has 
 given peculiar value and sweetness to all other 
 162
 
 The Eventide. 163 
 
 blessings is the knowledge that all my bless- 
 ings have come from him. It i.s religion which 
 has made my life a happy one, in the absence 
 of most of those adventitious adjuncts upon 
 which men commonly depend for such a result. 
 I have been under the necessity of constant 
 labor; I have been thwarted in mauy of my 
 schemes for bettering my worldly estate; I 
 have been constrained often to undergo self- 
 denial; I have suffered the fretting anxieties 
 of household care, and I have felt in all its 
 keenness tlie anguish of bereavement. Yet I 
 have enjoyed the great boon of a definite and 
 reputable occupation ; I have had almost un- 
 interrupted health; I have known the whole- 
 some comfort of contentment, if not the luxury 
 of gratified ambition ; I have broadened a very 
 contracted life by the sympathies with which I 
 have entered into the lives of others ; I have 
 come to see that privations were safeguards 
 against the snares of temptation, and afflictions 
 the chastenings which have brought me to a 
 sense of my faults. Somehow, as I review the 
 long pathway I have trodden, and the scenes 
 throiigh which it has conducted me, I can see 
 how^ the pillar of fire and cloud, the signal of a 
 divine guidance, has been with me at every 
 step ; and, in the light of this fact, T am assured
 
 164 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 that my jouruey will uot fail to reach its pro- 
 mised destination, in the rest prepared for the 
 people of God. 
 
 He who blessed the house of Obededom, 
 because the ark was within it, has blessed 
 mine. Harmony, unselfishness, and aifection 
 have made us, literally, a united family. I 
 have had five children. One is not, for God 
 chose her to be the first-fruits of the flock in 
 heaven. My oldest son is married and living 
 near me, and his little ones cluster about me 
 as autumnal blossoms sometimes come to deck 
 the nakedness of an old tree. The younger is 
 a student in college, and my hope is that he 
 may be called of God to enter the ministry. 
 My eldest daughter is happily married, and 
 lives v/ithin easy reach of us, at the town of 
 
 P . The last one, who was appropriately 
 
 named "Ruth," is my guardian angel, whose 
 devotion to me all her life has been saying, 
 "The Lord do so to me, and more also, if 
 anght but death part me and thee ; " and 
 whose persistence in declining all other alli- 
 ances has shown her determination to execute 
 her vow. Since the death of my wife, six 
 years ago, she has presided over my home, 
 and done all that filial love was capable of, 
 in healing the aching numbness of my dis-
 
 The Eventide. 165 
 
 severed life. All my children are communi- 
 cants in the church. 
 
 For the last two years I have retired from 
 active business, and removed to a modest little 
 cottage on the outskirts of our city, where, in a 
 quietness which I profoundly enjoy, I await 
 the hour when my sun, like the natural orb, 
 which I watch so often from my front piazza 
 descending to its rest in the western sky, shall 
 sink below the earthly horizon. 
 
 The retrospect of my life, in which, like most 
 persons in old age, I find myself often engaging, 
 leads me to many and varied reflections. One 
 is, that my life has been sadly unproductive of 
 those fruits of holiness and usefulness hy which 
 God is glorified by his servants. The things of 
 the world which so absorb our vision in our 
 earlier years contract their dimensions and 
 lose their lustre immensely as the great things 
 of eternity loom up before our gaze ; and we 
 wonder, as we look at them from tlie stand- 
 point of a Christian faith, that we could ever 
 allow their attractions to outweigh the claims 
 of the kingdom of God to our thought and 
 labor. The obligations we are under to the 
 divine Master, who, though he was rich, for 
 our enrichment became poor, seem so immea- 
 surable as we tliink that this enrichment is
 
 166 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 soon to be revealed to us, that, like tlie pub- 
 lican, we cry, "God be merciful to us sinners"; 
 and with an ardor in our trust, simpler and 
 stronger than that with which we first came to 
 Christ, we lay hold of his righteousness and 
 hide our deformity under his mantle, graciously 
 presented to us in the gospel. We may modify 
 our self-reproaches by reminding ourselves that 
 our talents have been few, and our sphere of 
 influence limited, but the disposition to make 
 such excuses will soon vanish before the stern 
 conviction that we have fallen short, in many 
 ways, of that perfect consecration to Christ 
 which he requires, and which he deserves. 
 
 Still, I have comforted myself by reflecting 
 that I know that my life as a Christian has 
 been under the control of a new law and a new 
 principle ; and that amidst all the intrusions of 
 the fleshly mind I could say, as Peter did, 
 "Lord, thou knowest all things, thou knowest 
 that I love thee." There is a satisfaction in 
 the performing of a religious service, which is 
 distinct from any which we may derive from 
 the thought that we are doing good, or even 
 from the thought that we are getting good. It 
 is a feeling akin to that pleasant one which we 
 derive from any bodily exercise which indicates 
 physical health, as the joyous note of the bird
 
 The Eventide. 1G7 
 
 gets its tone from the joyousness of a sound 
 organism. The consciousness of being in spir- 
 itual health, and anything which confirms this 
 consciousness, is grateful to the pious mind. I 
 take the things T have done "for Christ's sake" 
 as evidence, not that I am personally deserving 
 of his favor, but that the Spirit of Christ, in 
 some measure, is dwelling in me ; and this will 
 sometimes start a song, even in the midst of 
 my self-upbraidings. If I am but an earthen 
 vessel, and have often shown my earthly ten- 
 dencies, I am sure that I am the receptacle of a 
 divine element. If it is but a few sheaves that 
 I can point to as the result of my gleanings in 
 the Master's field, I am sure that it is the 
 power of grace which has prompted and en- 
 abled me to gather even these scanty treasures. 
 And I am sure my Lord will not disown kin- 
 ship with one who bears in his soul even so 
 faint a reflection of his own image. As I see 
 the night in which no man can work darkening 
 around me, I prize the recollection of any poor 
 labors I have performed for Christ as the truest 
 successes of my life; and I do not believe that 
 any Christian, on his death-bed, ever com- 
 plained that he had done or suffered too much 
 in the service of his Master. 
 
 Anotber reflection which has been a solace
 
 168 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 to me is, that there is a potency which we call 
 influence with which every man is charged, 
 and by which, when under the direction of 
 Christian rule and motive, he may be the instru- 
 ment in effecting indefinite good. I confess I 
 am filled with awe when I open my mind to the 
 thought of this invisible power which is ema- 
 nating from myself, and from everything in the 
 world around me. I nm the author of influ- 
 ence, and the subject of influence, whether I 
 will it or not — whether IJinow it or not. It is 
 like the fluid which pours itself through the 
 minute veins in the body of a tree, the effect of 
 which appears in the fruit of the olive and the 
 vine, or Jn the poisonous secretions of the upas 
 tree. I am not much surprised at the grand 
 old illusion of the astrologers, that the planets 
 were concerned in shaping the destiny of men 
 and nations on the earth, for it was but an 
 unscientific application of the truth that influ- 
 ence is present and active everywhere. Their 
 mistake was in locating in the stars a subtle 
 power which reall}' resides in man. 
 
 Where the supreme desire is to make life 
 effective in producing ameliorating and benefi- 
 cent results, what an incalculable encourage- 
 ment for effort and what a boundless field to 
 operate upon does this idea furnish! We do
 
 The Evkntide. 1H9 
 
 not see where the impi'essions we originate 
 touch the lives of those with whom we associate ; 
 it is best, perhaps, that we should uot ; hut by 
 a law of the universe they abide and perpetuate 
 themselves, and sweep on over ages and genera- 
 tions. Surely, it is worth Avhile to covet and 
 to cultivate an endowment like this, and to ap- 
 preciate it as a sacred trust! Wliat do we see 
 in the charitable institutions of to-day but the 
 effect of the widow's "two mites," and the 
 Samaritan's "oil and wine," preserved to us in 
 the Bible, to teach us, among other lessons, 
 perhaps, the potency of personal influence? 
 
 I am thankful to be able to believe that in 
 my contracted sphere I have tried to exercise 
 a salutary influence. I persuade myself that in 
 some quarters, as in my home, I have seen the 
 good results of it. And I have been cheered, 
 in several instances, by letters received from 
 persons almost forgotten, giving testimony to 
 the sucess of my humble efforts, in past years, 
 to lead the writers to the love of God and the 
 practice of religion. 
 
 And one other conviction is fastened in my 
 mind. I revert with profound gratitude to the 
 good hand of the Lord which was upon me in 
 constraining me to accept the office of ruling 
 elder in the church, against wliicli my iucb'ua-
 
 170 Extracts from an Elder's Diary. 
 
 tious so strougly rebelled. I liave been recom- 
 pensed a thousand times over for all the 
 anxieties, toils, and mortifications a consent to 
 take up the burden cost me. The assumption 
 of the office has caused me to lean more habit- 
 ually upon the promised grace of God in my 
 Christian life. It has been a check upon the 
 inordinate claims of worldly business, and a 
 protection to the spiritual side of my nature. 
 It has given me facilities and opportunities for 
 engaging in religious work. It has developed 
 faculties which would otherwise have remained 
 latent or inert. - It has been to me, in all re- 
 spects, an eminent means of grace. It has 
 helped me, by the experience through which it 
 has led me, to gather around me cheering views 
 of God's ways of dealing with me. It has hung 
 around the evening of my life memories and 
 hopes as radiant as those golden cloudlets 
 which I marked at the close of this winter's 
 day, convoying the setting sun to his rest. 
 
 Oh, yes, with a full heart "I thank Christ 
 Jesus, my Lord," and I expect to thank him 
 throughout eternity, "that he has counted me 
 worthy to be put into this ministry," and given 
 me ability and fidelity, in some feeble measure, 
 to do him service therein. 
 
 And were it in my power, I would leave it
 
 The Eventide. 171 
 
 as a clying charge to all to whom a call to labor 
 in this capacity, in the edifying of the church 
 of God, may be addressed, "Fear not; be 
 strong; go np to the mountains and bring 
 wood, and build the house, for i am with you, 
 SAiTH THE Lord!"
 
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