954 /v/913 IC-NRLF 2Mfl EDS -.. P SPEWCER'S BOSTON f f 3C3P 3P 1 A\ ?BT v v^^\ "Q^-Q) ^f*} ^&*> A COLLECTION OF SCARCE ACTING TRAGEDIES, COMEDIES, DRAMAS, FARCES AND BURLETTAS, UNIFORM IN PRICE AND STYLE. Each Number 12> cts....lO For One Dollar. BOSTON: WILLIAM V. SPENCER, 128 WASHINGTON STREET, Corner of Water St W oo I e. Spencer's Boston Theatre. Price, 12 1-2 w- Cents, each. Ten for One Dollar. BOUND VOLUMES, SI. VOL. I. VOL. VI. VOL. XI. 1 Moll Pitcher. 41 Love and Lovaltv. 81 The Mummy. 2 The Forest Rose, 42 Robber's Wife. 82 The Review. 3 Swiss Swains, 43 Happy Man, 83 Lady of the Lake. 4 Bachelor's Bedroom, 44 Dumb Girl of Genoa. 84 Still Water Runs Deep. 5 Sophia's Supper, 6 A Roland for an Oliver, 45 Wreck Ashore, 46 Clari. s5 Man of Manv Friends. 86 Love in Livery. 7 Black-cved Susan, 47 Miller and his Men. 87 Antony and Cleopatra. 8 John Bull, 48 Wallace. 88 The Scholar. VOL. II. VOL. VII. VOL. XII. 9 Satan in Paris, 49 Madclaine. 89 Helping Hands. 10 More Blunders than one, 50 Betsey Baker. 90 Aladdin. 11 Rosin a Meadows 51 The Fireman, 91 Trvingiton. ' 12 The Dumb Belle, 52 No. 1, Round the Corner, 92 Stage Struck Yankee, 13 My Aunt, 53 TeJdv Roe. W Young Wife & Old 14 Spring and Autumn, 54 Grist to the Mill. -t Last Man, (Umh'la 15 Six Degrees of Crime, 55 Object of Interest. 95 Belles' Stratagem. 10 Limerick Boy, 56 Two Loves and a Life. C J6 Crinoline. VOL. III. VOL. VIII. VOL. XIII. i 17 Presumptive Evidence, 57 Anne Blake. 97 Old and Yonnc:. ! 18 Man and Wife, 5S My Fell. :w Clerk. OS A Family Failing. : 19 The Sergeant's Wife, 59 Bengal Tiger. 99 The Young Scamp, 1 20 Masks and Faces. 60 The Steward. 100 The Adopted Child. 21 Merry Wives of Windsor, 61 Capt. Kvd. 101 The Turned Head. 22 Nature and Philosophy, 02 Nick of the Woods. 102 A Match in the Dark, i 23 Agnes de Vere, 63 The Marble Heart. 103 Advice to Husbands. 24 Shandy Maguire, 04 Laughing Hyena. 104 Ratlaelle. VOL. IV. VOL. IX. VOL. XIV. ' 25 Wild Oats, 65 Second Love. 105 RntlTOaklev. LV, Michael Erie, 66 The Victor Vanquished. 100 The British Slave. i 27 Teddy the Tiler, 67 Our Wife 107 Siamese Twins, -N Spectre Bridegroom, 68 Dream at Sea. lus A Life's Ransom, 2D Idiot Witness, 69 My Husband's Mirror. 109 Sent to the Tower. 30 Willow Copse, 70 Yankee Land. llOGiralda, 31 Matteo Falcone, 71 Norah Crtina, 111 Time Tries all, i 32 People's Lawyer, 72 Good/ Y Nothing. 112EllaRosenburg. VOL. V. VOL. X. VOL. XV. 33 Jenny Lind, 73 The First Night. 113 Somebody Else. ! 34 Comedy of Errors, 74 The Rake's Progress. 114 Warlock of the Glen 35 Lucretia Borgia, 75 Pet of the Petticoats. 115 Zelina, 36 Surgeon of Paris. 76 The Eaton Boy. 116 Ladies' Battle, : 37 Patrician's Daughter, 77 Wandering Minstrel. 117 Art of Acting, \ 38 The Two Buzzards, 78 Wanted 1000 Milliners. 118 The Brigand, 39 Shoemaker of Toulouse, 79 Poor Pil Ik-odd v. 119 The Lady of the Lions, 40 Momentous Question, . 80 Breach of Pttmfae. 120 Neighbor Jackwood, WILLIAM Y. SPElSTCEiR, PUBLISHER, iss -\ ^-A.sni3sra-T o rr ST., (Corner of Water St.) .... BOSTON. SPENCER'S BOSTON THEATRE No. LXXXVI. LOYE IN LIYERY, AN ORIGINAL FARCE O 1ST E BY J. P. WOOL EH, ESQ., AUTHOR OF " Allow me to Apologise," " Founded on Facts," Etc. WITH ORIGINAL CASTS, COSTUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CORRECTLY MARKED AND ARRANGED, BY MR. J. B. WRIGHT, ASSISTANT MANAGER OF THE BOSTON THEATRE. BOSTON : WILLIAM V. SPENCER, 128 WASHINGTON STREET, CORNER OF WATEB. DRAMATIS PERSONS. ORIGINAL CAST. Princess', London, Arch. */., Philad. Troy Museum, 1845. 1855. 1855. Lord Sparkle Mr. W. Lacy. _ Mr. Dolman. Mr. Wayne Olwine. Frank Howard Mr. A. Harris. Mr. Myers. Mr. Waller. Paul Patent Mr. Compton. Mr. J. S Clark. Mr. James Biddies. Thomas Mr. T. Hill Mr. Caterson. Mr. English. Violet Miss Stanley. Mrs. Drew. Miss Julia Daly. Louise Miss L, Honnor. Mrs. Landon. Miss Ross. Mary Miss Somers. Mrs. Wilks. Miss Gardiner. Susan Miss Mott. Mrs. Baker. Miss Morria. SCBNE Switzerland. Time in representation, 45 minutes. STAGE DIRECTIONS. R., means Right; L.,Left; R. H., Right Hand ; L. H., Left Hand; C., Centre; R. C., Right of Centre ; L. C.. Left of Centre ; F., the Flat ; C. D. F., Centre Door in Flat ; R. D. F., Right Door in Flat ; L. D. F., Left Door in Flat ; R. H. D., Right Hand Door, First Entrance ; L. H. D., Left Hand Door, First Entrauca S. E., (or 2 E.,) Second Entrance ; U. E., Upper Entrance. R. R. C. C. L. C. L. %* Tho reader is supposed to be upon the Stage, facing the audience. MEMOIR OF MR. J. S. CLARK IT has been said, and indeed it is generally conceded, that acting is the only profession for which no previous initiation is required. None are educated for players ; chance or caprice makes actors, and aptness, quick perception, and study secure their success. For the reasons assigned, a well-known writer has said that a player has never been in good odour with the merely calculating part of man- kind; and, unhappily, his own irregularities too often prove a bar to his favorable reception with the enlightened and liberal. Many of the theatrical profession are wholly illiterate a defect that, when they have dropped the cap and mask, renders them intolerable. The ap- plause bestowed upon such Thespians, by the injudicious and " barren spectator," engenders a silly vanity that almost leads them to expect the like favor when left to the resources of their own wit. But what is awarded to the mummer is denied to the man. There is no reason why an honorable profession like the Histrionic Art should not have more followers who have received some decent qualification, if not scholastic, to illustrate the noblest triumphs of human wit. The elder Booth, Garrick, Kemble, and many more of the past, and the late J. B. Booth, Forrest, Conway, Charles Kean, Roberts, Burton, J. M. Field, Brougham, Richings and others, of the present, are deeply learned and well-read gentlemen. Mr. Clark, the subject of this sketch, though not a classical scholar, is possessed of a liberal educa- tion, and is a close student ; of this gentleman we expect much. His life thus far has not been marked with any peculiar events though his genius, talent, education, and studious habits, indicate a high round in the dramatic ladder. He was born in Baltimore, Md., in 1832. In 1851 he abandoned the mercantile business, to which he was apprenticed, and adopted the stage, making his first appearance on the boards at the Ho ward Athenaeum, Boston, as Frank Hardy in Paul Pry. In 1852 he became a member of the Chesnut Street Company, Phila- delphia, then under the management of the efficient and able stage R50674 4 MEMOIR OF J. 8. CLARK. director, Mr. W. S. Fredericks. Here Me. C. first attracted the no- tice of the critics, and acquired great popularity in second low come- dy, and what is technically termed "little bits." In the fall of 1854 he filled the position of "first low comedian" at the Front Street Theatre, Baltimore, and became a tremendous favorite. We next find him in New York, where he first appeared at the Metropolitan Theatre, under the management of Mr. J. H. Hackett, in May 1855, as Dickory in the Spectre Bridegroom. His success was complete ; his performance eliciting warm commendation from the critics of the New York Herald and other journals. He is now c< leading low comedian " at Wheatley's Arch Street Theatre, Philadelphia, en- joying a popularity unequalled and nightly augmenting. His per- formance of Paul Patent, in Love in Livery, is a most amusing and droll delineation, and quite original. With study and application, Mr. Clark is destined to occupy a still more enviable position. "THE MAJO." COSTUME. LORD SPARKLE Green Swiss valet's coat, braided tight black pan- taloons and Hessian boots. FRANK HOWARD Blue dress coat and trousers white waistcoat. PAUL First dress Livery. Second dress Very tight fashionably cut trousers white waistcoat black dress coat. VIOLET Pink striped silk dross. LOUISE Flowered muslin. MARY & SUSAN The same. SCENERY. SCENE 1. Lord Sparkle's dressing-room, in 1. 11 2. Handsome chamber with folding doors, backed by garden in 4 and 5. " 3 Same as 1st " 4. Same as 2d. PROPERTIES. SCENE 1. Table C., with toilet-glass and bell on 2 chairs. " 2. Tables R. and L. chairs and sofa foot stool flower vases bell writing materials handsome volumes, Ac., on tables. 3. Written letter on salver for Thomas Paul's coat ready L. for Thomas. " 4. Furniture as in Scene 2 torpedoes for prompter visiting card on salver for servant. LOVE IN LIVERY. SCENE I. Lord Sparkle's Dressing-room. LORD SPARKLE just completing his toilet, L. H., in the costume of a Swiss Valet. LORD S. It's plaguy strange, now, that any woman should have the power to transform me into a footman ! And she loses by it, too for she was mistress of a Lord before now she's only mistress of a lacquey. Where's my plague, Paul, I wonder ? Here, Paul ! (Knocking without. Throws cloak round him.) Enter SERVANT, L. H. SERV. Mr. Howard, my lord. Enter FRANK HOWARD. (Exit SERVANT, L. H.) How. Good day, Tom ! LORD S. Good day, Frank ! How. Why, Tom, you're cloaked as if you were going to ramble up the Alps. May I ask the meaning of this wintry garb in July ? if it isn't a new dressing gown ! LORD >. You remember my mentioning to you a scheme for winning the pretty Countess Violet ? How. I recollect something about it but it was so exquis itely absurd, that I thought I had dreamt it, or you were joking. LORD S. Does this look like a joke ? (Throwing off cloak.) How. I protest, more like a joke than ever. Prithee, Tom, throw off that masking foolery, and, if you like the woman, make love to her in your proper character. LORD S. The Countess is one of the most romantic women in Europe. The ruse will take her in a fashion after her own heart. You don't know her How. I know her for one of the proudest women in Swit- zerland, and the least likely in the world to fall in love with 8 LOVE IN LIVERY. [sc. i her own footman and bow such a stupid idea ever entered vour head, I cannot conceive. LORD S. I think it emanated in you ; we are two opposites. It is a matter of necessity, Frank, as well as romance. I can ge-t no introduction to hsr. The old men won't introduce me through prudence the young ones through jealousy so, M'Jth my hearty thanks to them all, I'll introduce myself. How. Confound me, if Fd put on that jacket, if you threw all the Duchesses into the bargain. LORD S. Then I wish with all my soul you may marry a milkmaid. But, come though you laugh at the road I tra- vel, wish me safe at my journey's end. How. With all my heart ! LORD S. I am not known in the neighborhood by sight. Now I can't be absent without leaving some one to represent me, in case of accident. I've chosen one who I think possess- es fidelity, though sadly deficient in everything else my most incomprehensibly clumsy blockhead, Paul. How. (Laughing) Impossible ! LORD S. Fact ! now all I ask of you, is that you will look in now and then, to see that he commits no very glaring folly. How. Fortune speed you ! Good bye and I say, Tom, mind you attend to your duties, and bring away a good character. [Exit L. H. LORD S. Ha, ha ! Good bye, Frank. Now for the new Lord Sparkle. (Rings bell on table, L.) Enter PAUL PATENT, R. H. PAUL. Did you ring, sir? LORD S. Ring, sir ! Where the deuce have you been, sir, for the last half hour ? PAUL. I've been trying to come the lord a little in the kitchen, and I rather think I gave 'em a touch of nobility. LORD S. Now just excuse me, Paul I wanted you to look as bright as you could to-day, and hang me if you don't look more stupid than ever. PAUL. Didn't I tell you, I'd been trying to come the lord? LORD S. Sir ! But just turn round a little, and let's look at you. (PAUL turning round.) LORD S. (Laughing.) No I can't put my coat upon such a figure as that ! PAUL. Yes, I think the figure's a cut above the common of nobility. I don't recollect ever seeing such lega aa run c. i.] LOVE IN LIVERY. these under a lord's table ; but, I dare say, when I get on my quality clothes, I can manage to disguise 'em. LORD S. I pray you, friend Paul, for my reputation's sake, disguise them and yourself as much as you possibly can. If you could procure a wig to hide that horrible red head of yours, it would be as well. PAUL. Hide this head, my lord ? the envy of whole par- ishes? though my last mistress had the impudence to tell me to get out of her sight, or my hair would tan her. LORD S. Have you tried on the clothes I gave you ? PAUL. I have and uncommon like a lord I looked. They're a trifle tight in one or two immaterial places I can't get a very fair view at my feet, and LORD S. They'll do very well. Now, remember the cellar will be at your command. But if you dare to get intoiu- catea, you are no longer a servant of mine. PAUL. By-the-bye, I shall thank your lordship to explain to the things in the kitchen, that I shall require a lot of re- spect and please be very particular with the women. LORD S. I'll discharge the first that disobeys you. And remember, should you happen by any chance to see me, be- ware you don't recognize me. PAUL. My nobility will be particularly short-sighted. LORD S. I shall leave the same order with all the servants. PAUL. I'll take care, my lord. LORD S. If any letters come for me, attend to them your- self, if you can if not, take them to my friend Howard. But if you play any tricks with my name or reputation, I'll break every bone in your skin. PAUL. All care shall be taken of your lordship's reputa- tion that it deserves. LORD S. You shall be no loser by it. Now go and dress at once. You'll see me in a week (Aside) for if I can't win a woman in that time, she must be made of something devilish tough indeed ! My cloak ! (PAUL puts on LORD S.'* cloak. .Exit LORD S., R. H.) PAUL. Good bye, my lord. Hilloa ! what's that ? Good bye, my lord ! I ought to say, " How d'ye do, my lord ? happy to make your lordship's acquaintance." (Shaking hands with himself.) "Can I offer your lordship anything to drink?" (A/ectedly.) Yes and the sooner the* better. I'm to consult my nobility about getting drunk. I'll consult it while I'm getting dressed. In the mean time, I'll take the 10 LOVE IIS LIVERY. [so. it. smallest bottle I can find, that I mayn't get drunk before the consultation comes off. This way, my lord. Will your lord- ship go first ? (Drawing himself up affectedly) Yes. Shall I follow your lordship ? Yes. [Exit R. H. SCENE II. The Countess Violets Apartment, opening on a garden. Chairs, Tables, K. and L. H. Vases on them. Ottoman c. and two stools. VIOLET discovered, c., seated, reading. Vio. (After a pause.) This is positively the most tedious book ! ( Throwing it down and sighing.) Ah, I certainly don't find so much pleasure in being a widow as I expected. It was decidedly pleasant at first. Perhaps I've tried it rather too long. It is now what? eighteen months since I lost the poor, dear, ridiculous old Count (Rising) and, heav- en's grace, I am twenty to-morrow. I have lovers enough but then my hand is scarcely my own and what my foolish departed husband could mean by leaving me under the con- trol of an old English lord, and thereby prevent my marrying but at his good pleasure, at the risk of my fortune, I can't conceive. I have the reputation of being proud at all haz- ards, I am too proud to ask any man's consent in the disposal of my hand, and too proud to bring any man my person only as a dowry, so my chances of marriage are, I fear, trifling. Enter LOUISE, L. H. Lou. A young man, madam, has applied for the situation of footman to your ladyship. Vio. And his appearance Lou. Charming, madam! His dress is lovely, and his face and figure, madam if they ain't beautiful ! Vio. You can commend him in his own society, girl what can his face and figure be to me ? I will speak to him. Lou. Yes, madam. (Aside.) I'll lay my best cap she'll engage him without a character. [Exit L. H. Vio. Now to be bored by some great clown or other for I suspect Louise's ideas of a beautiful face and figure are a pair of moustache and six feet (Sits.) BC. ii.] LOVE IN LIVERY, II Enter LOUISE and LORD SPARKLE, L. H. Lou. This way, young man don't be timid. LORD S. (Aside.) How lovely she is ! Vio. (Aside.) Come, the girl has more taste than I gave her credit for. So, young man, you wish to enter my service 1 LORD S. I seek such honor, madam. Vio. From the Tyrol, by your dress ? LORD S. You are right, madam. Vio. And your name ? LORD S. (Aside.) 'Pon my life I forgot that ! (Aloud) My name, madam, is Fidelio. Vio. Have you any letters to speak in your favor ? LORD S. No, madam 'tis my first service. Vio. It is rarely the custom to receive servants on their own report but your appearance bars any suspicion and, trust- ing that you will not forfeit my good opinion, I take you at once into my service. Lou. (Aside.) Of course I knew that ! LORD S. Madam, I thank you. Vio. Louise, here, will instruct you in your duties, and will see that you receive what you require. (Seats herself.) LORD S. (Aside.) She must give me her mistress then ! Lou. I can see all this very clearly Fidelio, your place is there. (Pointing to the side.) And here you must stand till you're wanted, d'ye hear 1 [Exit L. H. LORD S. (Aside.) Very monumental employment ! How lovely she looks ! Vio. (Aside.) Now do I feel that that fellow's eyes are fixed on me. I hate to be stared at, especially Oh, this is positively provoking. Fidelio ! LORD S. (Running to her.) Madam ! Vio. Hem ! reach me that stool. LORD S. Yes, madam. (Places stool for her t and sits at her feet, L. c.) Vio. Sir ! remember your place LORD S. "Tis here, madam. Vio. What, at my feet ? LORD S. Yes, madam it is the custom of the Tyrol. (Aside) I think that's where I come from. (Aloud.) But if J offend Vio. There is no offence in a sup'./osed duty but in my service yon must forget such duties as soon & y-vs>i r>ie. 12 LOVE IN LIVERY. [nc.n. LORD S. Such a duty, madam, to such a mistress, can never be forgotten. Vio. Well, remain as you are for the novelty of the thing, this once. LORD S. (Aside.) The custom of the Tyrol will do! Vio. What were you saying, Fidelio ? LORD S. I was saying, madam, that I never saw so lovely a foot. Vio. Is it a custom in the Tyrol, too, for a servant to com- pliment his mistress's feet as well as kneel at them ? LORD S. It is a servant's perquisite, madam, in the Tyrol. Vio. Indeed ! the perquisite being of so agreeable an or- der, may I ask the salary given for such service ? LORD S. All we serve for, madam, in the Tyrol, is love. Vio. It must be a profitable situation then. LORD S. Above all profit, madam. The wages of a Tyro- lean servant are a smile a day and, would you credit it, madam, a kiss at the close of every week ? Vio. And perhaps, if you had the first week's wages in ad- vance, it would be an advantage. LORD S. (Rising.) I shall be happy, madam, to take that advantage of you. ( Offering to kiss her.) Vio. It is time, sir, to remind you of your position and mine and to caution you, that though I have spoken thus lightly with you, the next attempt to address me in the same tone and terms will ensure your dismissal. To your place, sir. LORD S. The custom of the Tyrol won't do this time 3 (Retires up, L. H.) Vio. (Aside.) Come, he has the grace to be silent. Now he's gone up there to stare at me again. The fellow's given me the fidgets. Fidelio ! LORD S. Madam ! Vio. Hem ! yo have never been in service before ? LORD S. No, madam. Vio. By your appearance, your life has hitherto been a very easy one ? LORD S. As easy, madam, as freedom and pleasure could make it. But, trust me, service to you will be far easier than any freedom. Vio. Again, sir ! Be careful ! You'd better leave the room, I think. LORD S. Confound her pride ! once alarmed, it will be rather difficult to lull again. (Retires up.) c. in.] LOVE IN LIVERY. 13 Vio. (Aside.) My new gentleman is rather presuming I must put a stop to it. Fidelio, 1 shall walk awhile in the garden, (Ruing.) LORD S. I shall attend you, madam. (Throws open door at back she walks towards it he offers his arm.) Will you allow me, madam ? Vio. (Drawing back haughtily.) Sir, this is beyond be- lief LORD S. (Aside.) 'Gad, I forgot ! (Aloud.) Your pardon, madam, it is the custom in the Tyrol. Vio. Keep such customs, then, for the Tyrol and beware, sir, lest your freedom be deemed impertinence, and receive its reward. Learn the duties of a servant, and let me counsel you, observe them. (Stamps angrily, and exit c.) LORD S. Even her foot's in a passion ! Well, thanks to the Tyrol, and its customs, and thanks to my own imprudence, I spoilt it all as fast as I did it. But, my sweet Countess, the hours of your widowhood are numbered for if I don't win and wear you before the week's out, may I never get a smile from the sex agaia. [Exit L. H. SCENE III. Lord Sparkle's Apartment. Enter PAUL, R. H., in Lord Sparkle's clothes, and brocaded dressing gown. PAUL. It strikes me they put the strongest stuff into the smallest bottles, for I've certainly only emptied one bottle and the bottle was a little bottle and I feel in a very fit state to play the devil with my nobility. Now I suppose I ought to feel like a lord, but if 1 had a very confidential friend here, I should tell him that though my dignity fits me extremely well, my clothes don't. It's a regular Court suit, too but it feels to me like a suit of court plaister. I shall never be able to sit down in 'em. Enter THOMAS, with a letter, L. H. THOM. Here's a letter for his lordship PAUL. Whose lordship, blockhead ? THOM. Oh I forgot your lordship. Think before you speak, Thomas, in future. Ctiv* it 14 LOVE IN LIVERY. [sc. HI. me. I'm afraid you haven't washed your hands this morning, Thomas. Don't let this happen again, or you will get the sack, Thomas. (Recollecting.) I mean, you'll quit my service, Tho- mas. Go and cleanse, you dirty vagabond ! THOM. (Aside.) He's going mad, I think. [Exit L. H. PAUL. I hope my friend writes a good hand, or I shall be bothered. (Reads.) " To the Right Honorable Lord Thomas Sparkle." Ah, that's me! "My dear son." Oh, from the gov- ernor ! " I have just heard that you are in the neighborhood of a ward of mine the Countess De De " Ah, never mind it is a Countess. " She is young and very beautiful. Now, Tom, you could not make choice of a nobler lady, even in England. It is my wish that you make her an immediate offer of your hand. In haste your affectionate father." What's to be done ? I can't find him, that's certain. Don't know where he is. He told me if any letters came, to attend to 'em myself if I could and I suppose I can make love to a woman. Though she is a Countess, I suppose she's something like other women. Besides, I shall get the affair in such a beautiful state of forwardness when I hand it over to him, he'll double my wages. I'll go at once. Thanks to the little bottle, I'm just in the humor. Thomas ! His lordship's coat Thomas ! Enter THOMAS, with coat, L. H. Now, Thomas will you assist his lordship ? (THOMAS helps him off with dressing gown) Gently gently you rough creature ! I'm not used to such things. Now the coat, Thomas THOM. Here it is, Paul my lord ! (Helps him in on with it) PAUL. Didn't I tell you to think before you spoke ? send in the rest of my servants. (Exit THOMAS, R. H.) I must let them know formally that I'm going out for the day, or the wretches might fancy I was too drunk to get home they do have the oddest ideas Enter three or four MALE SERVANTS, MART AND SUSAN, L. H., tittering. Let me know when you've quite done laughing. You'll oblige me by remembering that I am no longer in the menial situa- tion I blush to have ever been in. And you, female women, will oblige me by forgetting to remember any little attention I may have been low-minded enough to pay you. ec. in.] LOVE IN LIVERY. 15 MARY. (Aside) The wretch! Sus. (Aside.) The viper ! MARY. (Running to him.) Dear Paul, you won't desert met remember the many times you PAUL. Off, woman ! you're a chambermaid. Hence to your region of bolsters and blankets, and be smothered ! * Scs. That's right, Paul she's not your dear, but when I speak PAUL. Hence, woman ! you're a cook. Off to your regions of grease and gravy, and be basted. I know nothing about your honesty. THOM. Come, Paul, this is coming it rather too strong. PAUL. Paul, sir ? Paul ! Who do you mean by Paul f One of your blackguard associates, I suppose. THOM. Precisely so. PAUL. Is there any Paul here, sir ? Go to the devil, sir, and take Paul with you ! How dare you interrupt me, sir ? I said I don't know much about your honesty no more 1 do so, to prevent mischief, all of you come with me, and get the carriage ready directly. THOM. Well, I suppose we must do it. PAUL. Suppose, you villain ! Do I pay you your abomin- ably extortionate wages for you to suppose ? THOM. (As they exeunt.) Oh, shan't he suffer for this ! [All exeunt but PAUL, MARY and SUSAN, L. H. PAUL. Plagued with servants ! Well, what are you stop ping for ? Sus. (Turning sharply to MARY.) Yes, madam what are you stopping here for ? MARY. I wish to speak to his lordship. PAUL. Very properly answered. Now, Miss what are you stopping for ? Sus. I want to speak to yow, Paul Patent who has pro- mised to marry me a hundred times, and who thinks because he's thrown off his old clothes, he can throw off his old words but I can tell him I won't be made a fool of ! MARY. Perhaps there's no necessity to make you one, ma'am. Sus. Take care I don't spoil your wit, ma'am ! (From this point to the end of the Scene to be spoken very rapidly) MARY. Take care I don't spoil your beauty, ma'am I 10 LOVE IN LIVERY. [sc. IT. PAUL. (Aside.) Thank heaven, they've begun I'm pretty safe! Sus. It strikes me you're a creature, ma'am ! MARY. Take care nothing else strikes you, ma'am ! Sus. 1 don't wonder, ma'am, at your being so free with your words, seeing how free you are with your lips, ma'am. MARY. What do you know about my lips, ma'am. Sus. Not so much as Thomas, I dare say, ma'am MARY. I'll pull your hair out of curl, I promise you, ma'am ! (Goes up to her.) PAUL. Oh, this won't do. Women, I can't have this dis- turbance in the building. I shall ring the bell MARY & Sus. How dare you interfere ? Sus. You upstart insignificant PAUL. Will you be quiet, you little devils? MARY. Go, sir do go ! (Both striking him.) Sus. & MARY. (Following and beating him) There you hideous three-cornered little tyrant there ! PAUL. I wish his lordship was in his own clothes, now ! Get off, you two vixens ! (They beat him of R. H. squabbling and scuffling.) SCENE IV. The Countes* Violets Chamber, as before. LORD SPARKLE discovered on the Ottoman. LORD S. T may make a very respectable lord in fact, I think I do, but I certainly am the most bungling lacquey in or out of livery that ever filled a glass. (LouiSE sings with- out.) Ha ! here comes that pert little hussey, her maid. I'll be sworn she's marvelling strangely that I don't make love to her. Bv-the-bye, she might assist me besides, 'twill pass the time. Enter LOUISE, L. H. Lou. (Aside.) Oh, he's here ! When a fellow-servant is tolerably good-looking, and does the agreeable to me, 1 gen- erally contrive to serve him when he doesn't, I generally con- trive to serve him out. Now here's a very strong case. This fellow's very handsome, and he hasn't opened his lips to me ! LORD S. What the plague's she chattering to herself about, I wonder ? Hem ? sc. iv.] LOVE IN LIVERY. 17 Lou. Ah ! you here ! I say, young fellow do you know you're very clumsy ? We are used to something better, I can assure you. LORD S. I shall improve under your instruction, child. Lou. No, man you are much too stupid for me to instruct. LORD S. I am willing to learn from such a pretty teacher though we should forget our lesson, I fear, and fall into an- other subject. Lou. What subject, Mr. Impudence ? LORD S. One I fancy we should be both more at home with love ! Lou. So you're going to make love to me, are you ? LORD S. Let me recommend a large stock I have on hand ready made. Lou, I don't like things ready made and I dare say you are ready enough to swear you love me. LORD S. Quite ! I do swear it ! (COUNTESS VIOLET entert behind, c.) Lou. Well, what will you swear by ? LORD S. I'll swear by anything you think the safest. Lou. Oh, come, I'm in no danger yet, Mr. Safe. LORD S. Well, 1 swear by my honesty. Lou. I don't think you could swear by a more trifling affair than that." LORD S. Oh, yes I might have sworn by yours. Lou. Well, I declare ! (Aside.) He's no such fool though ! LORD S. However, I swear by those two red lips will that do? Lou. Yes but isn't it necessary when one swears to kiss the book ? LORD S. You're right, dear ! (Kisses her VIOLET comes forward they start back.) Vio. This is monstrous 1 So, sir this is the custom in the Tyrol too, I suppose. LORD S. Yes, madam if you'll allow me Vio. It is not the custom of my house at least not to my knowledge though from Louise's aptness, it may have been. You will return to the Tyrol, sir, if you feel disposed LORD S. I assure you, madam, 'twas a harmless frolic only. (Aside.) Ah, my. unlucky stars ! Lou. Yes, madam, very harmless, as far as I am concerned. It was only an experiment. I always try the disposition of new servants, madam, that I may know how to treat them af- J8 LOVE IN LIVERY. [ac. rv. Vio. Very possibly you do but you try no more in my bouse. As for you, sir, you have repaid my confidence well, have you not ? but I might have guessed as much. You leave my service to-morrow morning. LORD S. (Aside.) Discharged in three hours ! My dear Howard, you were very right I'll carry her off to-night. Vio. \ ou can leave the room Lou. Please, madam, I don't think he did kiss me quite. Vio. If anything makes a bad affair worse, 'tis an attempt- ed and lame defence. We will talk no more of this at present. I hear a carriage see who it is. (LouiSE runs to window, c.) Lou. La, madam ! it's a strange carriage with grooms on horseback. I never saw it before- chocolate lined with crim- son. LORD S. Eh ? Lou. And such a glaring coat of arms on it and two such lovely cream-colored horses. LORD S. (Aside.) The devil there are ! (Goes up to window.) Vio. 1 know none such. Whose can it be ? LORD S. (Aside.) Your discharged valet's ! my coach, and horses, as I breathe ! Now whose infernal audacity is this ? It must be a trick of Howard's to stop this freak. Enter SERVANT, L. H., hands card to VIOLET. Vio. (Reading) Lord Sparkle, Revel Hall LORD S, (Aside.) Oh, Lord Sparkle, is it ? who the devil am I, then ? Vio. (Aside.) The son of Lord Rackington, my guardian of whom 1 have heard so much. Admit his lordship. (Exit SERVANT, L. H.) Fidelio, remain here to receive his lordship. Louise, no more experiments, if you please. Lou. No, madam. [Exit VIOLET and LOUISE, R. H. LORD S. It strikes me I shall quarrel with Frank. (Sits and reads his back towards entrance.) I'll not notice him, he may take his oath of that. Enter SERVANT, introducing PAUL, L. H. SERV. My Lord Sparkle [Exit L. H. PAUL. Well, that'- manners, is it, to holloa out a fellow's name, and then cut out of the room without so much as hand- ing a chair or hanging up his hat. But I'm a lord and I'll let 'em know it, Where's a bell ? Ha, there's a ser- vant. I'll astonish 'em a little. ( Calls loudly.) Now, young man. (Slapping him on the back.) se. IT.] LOVE IN LIVERY. 19 LORD S. (Starting up, and rushing forward.} Paul ! PAUL. The devil ! LORD S. Confound that eternally blundering head of yours ! \vhat on earth brought you here ? Answer me, or I'll shake you dumb. (Collars him) PAUL. Your lordship's creams. (Aside.) I will have my lark out, in spite of him. I came to make love to the Coun- tess Thingumy what's her name ? LORD S. Have you been drinking ? PAUL. It's a positive fact I did a little but may I ask what your lordship's doing here ? LORD S. I'll tell you what I shall do here directly, and that is, fling you out of the window. Tell me, sir, at once, what brought you here ? PAUL. Very well, sir just after you Enter LOUISE, R. H. Lou. Fidelio, you're to go and see after his lordship's car- riage and servants. Now, run don't stand fidgetting there. PAUL. (Aside ) Who's she talking to ? LORD S. (Aside) This is amusing. I shall have to groom ray own horses, I suppose. Lou. Now, are you going ? LORD S. Oh yes I'm going. PAUL. Why don't you go ? LORD S. ( Aside) But I'll very soon make my way back ! [Exit, L. H. Lou. I'm afraid your lordship has been bothered with thvers, 205 127 UnproU-cU'd Female, 167 Tickli,h Times. [Tiger, 207 123 Green Bushes. IBS Twenty Minutes with a 203 VOL. XVII. VOL. XXII. VOL. XXVII. 129 Flowers of the Forest, 169 Miralda or the Just'ce of 209 1. '50 Forty ami Hi'tv, 170 Heads or Tails. [Tacou, 210 1:5 L Who' Stole i hi- Pocketbook 171 A Soldiers' Courtship, 21L i:'.2 A Ba,-hflor of Arts, 172 212 I'U Mv Sim I>':in;i, 173 213 134 The Midnight Banquet. 174 214 I 135 Un *!! r:\ntalile Intrusion : 175 215 136 Mr. & Mrs. White. 176 216 VOL. XVIII. VOL. XXIII. VOL. XXVIII. 137 A Qniet Family. 177 217 ! 133 Husband of an hour. 173 218 139 Love's Telegraph, 170 219 140 The Naiad Queen. ISO 220 141 Caprice. 181 221 1 42 Cool as a Cucumber, 1S2 QOO 1 43 Sudden Thoughts, 183 223 14 1 Jumbo Jum. m 224 _VOL.XIX. VOL. XXIV. VOL. XXIX. 14 > The Cradle of Liberty, 185 225 14G A Blighted Being, 186 226 147 Little Toddlekins, 187 227 143 The Lost Ship. 183 228 149 A Lover by Proxy, [Pail, 189 229 1 ->0 Maid with the Milking 190 230 1)1 Country Squire, 191 231 152 Perplexing'Predicament. 192 232 VOL. XX. VOL. XXV. VOL. XXX. 113 Fraud and its Victims, 193 233 154 Dr. Dihrorth. 194 2.14 1)3 Out to Nursj, 195 235 1">6 Putnam. 190 236 157 The King and Desert or, 197 237 158 A Lucky Hit, 193 233 159 The Dowager, 199 239 160 La Fiammina, 200 240 PAKCELS SENT TO ANY PAKT OF THE CITY. Orders by Mail or Express will be promptly attended PRIVATE REPRESENTATION. Eton Boy. Bio >mer Costume, Swiss Cottaee, Forty and Fifty, My Son Diana, Cool as a Cucumber, The Scholar, The Limerick Boy, Spring and Autumn, Ol)ject of Interest, Grist to the Mill, Wandering Minstrel, Twenty Minutes with a Tiger,; Clock Maker's Hat; A Very Serious Affair, A Blighted Being, Ladies Beware, Two Buzzards, Young wife & Old Umbrella. Two Gregories, Who Speaks First, White Bait at Greenwich, In for a Holiday, Two Heads better than One. Six Characters. Irish Tiger, Norah Creina. Family Jars. Irish Tutor, Irish Assurance, Hunting a Turtle, Second Love. Our Wife. A Hard Strugge, The Dowager, Dreams of Delusion, Ticklish Times, JTwo Characters Each. | Bachelor's Bedroom j No. 1, Round the Corner, j Conjugal Lesson, . Morning Call. Antony and Clopatra, i A Lady and Gentleman in a Perplexing Predicament. Personation, i An Unwarrantable Intrusion, , A Pair of Pigeons, j Three Characters. i Box and Cox, I Love in Humble Life, Delicate Ground, , Good Little Wife, I My Wife's Diary, Opposite Neighbors, A Soldier's Courtship, Sent to the Tower, i Two can play at that game, i Advice to Husbands, ! Two Gay Deceiver?, | Unprotected Female, j Four Characters. j Betsey Baker, i Bombastes Furioso, Victor Vanquished, Comedy and Tragedy, A Good Fellow, Romance Under Difficulties, Laughing Hyena- Cosey Conp'.e, Maid with the Milking Pail, A Lucky Hit, Five Characters. Poor Pillicoddy, Swiss Swains, Nature and Philosophy, Heads or Tails, A Day in Paris. Price, 12 1-2 Cents, each Ten for One Dollar, NO PLAYS'EXCHANGED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Rights of Man, Siamese Twins, Eight Charact My Husband's Ghost, Mr. & Mrs. White. A Bachelor of Aria, My Husband's Mirror, Love in Livery, My Aunt^ A Roland for an Olive Dumb Belle, First Night, Stage Struck Yankee, Trying it On, The Mummy, Si>cctre Bridegroom, Teddy Roe, Fish Out of Water. Box & Cox Married & Settled, Time Tries All, Loan of a Lover, The Young Scamp, My Neighbour's Wife, Fighting by Proxy, The Secret, A Quiet Family. Two Friends, Sudden Thoughts, Two Bonnycastles, Dr, Dilworth, Widow's Victim, A Fasinating Individual, Nine -Charactc Match Making, A Match in the Dark, Bengal Tiger. Little Toddlckins, My Fellow Clerk, Happy Man, Idiot Witness, Lady of the Lions, Seven Characters. Little Treasure, Sophia's Supper, Who Stole the Pocket Book, , John Jones, A Family Failing, Still Waters Run Deej: On hand a large assortment of ENGLISH AND AMERICAN EDITIONS ( IP 31, .A. "^ S - All New Playe for sale as soon as issued, at 128 I : (Corner of Water Street,) STREET, BOST Binder t Gaylord Bros.. Inc. *' Stockton, Calif. \ T.M. Reg. U.S. Pat. Off. YB 72856 HOME USE CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT MAIN LIBRARY This M* is due on the last date ^-j"*^ L.D21 ^ A-40m-5,'74 Un ,S5-.