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THE CUCK-QUEANES, ^c. 
 
 A COMiEDYE. 
 
 THE FAERY PASTORALL. 
 
THE CUCK-QUEANES 
 
 AND 
 
 CUCKOLDS ERRANTS 
 
 OR 
 
 THE BEARING DOWN THE INNE. 
 
 A COMiEDYE. 
 
 THE FAERY PASTORALE 
 
 OR 
 
 FORREST OF ELUES. 
 BY W P ESQ. 
 
 FROM A MANUSCRIPT, IN THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 JOSEPH HASLEWOOD, ESQ. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 FROM THE ^|jafi!9peare J^re^iS, by 
 
 WILLIAM NICOL, 
 CLEVELAND-BOW, ST. JAMEs's. 
 
 1824. 
 
CideA LtrJ jJaxJU^ 
 
 
TO THB 
 
 PRESIDENT AND MEMBERS 
 
 OF 
 
 THIS EDITION 
 
 OP 
 
 TWO UNPUBLISHED EARLY DRAMAS, 
 
 » 18 DEDICATED AND PRESENTED 
 
 BY THEIK OBEDIENT SBRVANT, 
 
 JOHN ARTHUR LLOYD. 
 
 June 17, 1824. 
 
 /> 
 
 7n 
 
 930 
 
The two following specimens of our very early English Drama 
 have been selected from a folio volume containing six dramatic 
 pieces, that may be almost conclusively considered as in the 
 hand-writing of the author. It is in folio, and has dates, at 
 various pages, from 1601 (see p. 89) to 1647 (p. 97.) It appears 
 to have been a fair transcript of the lucubrations of an earUer 
 period of life, that were carefully preserved with strong parental 
 affection, and with the unsettled principles of a still further 
 laboured correction, as many pages testify by a new reading 
 being pasted over, to improve the bygone idea. 
 
 The earliest notice known of the volume occurs in the " Cata- 
 logue of the Town Library of the late Sir William Burrell, 
 Bart. LL.D. Fellow of the Antiquarian Society:" which library 
 was sold at the Turf Gallery in Conduit-street, Monday, May 2, 
 1796, and four following days. The volume, it is supposed, 
 was there purchased by Mr. G. Nicol, to place in the library of 
 the late Duke of Roxburghe, and on the sale of that nobleman's 
 collection it was purchased for me. 
 
The name of the author is probably now first discovered. 
 The title-page is very long, beginning : 
 
 AUDITORIBUS BeNEUOLIS. 
 COM^DYES AND PaSTORALLS 
 
 WITH THEIR Songs, as 
 
 ALSO ONE BoOKE OF 
 
 Epigrammes. 
 BY W. p. ESQUIER. 
 
 After several apposite quotations, it ends : 
 Exscriptum. 
 Anno Salutis 1647. 
 Sic vos non vobis et caet. VirgUius in vita 
 
 vel 
 Quo ea fata vocent. 
 
 , W. P. Esquier. 
 
 It seems certain, at the time of composing his pieces, the 
 author's residence was given under the name of " Wolues Hill, 
 my Parnassus" (p. 190,) which is in Sussex. It is equally cer- 
 tain he was educated at Oxford. In the " one singular booke 
 of Epigrammes," which extends to 347 (with " Finis 1610 
 W. P. Esq""), are several on events occurring in that town, and 
 one " on Dr. Case, my quondam Tutor :" but the reference of 
 the following epigram has given a clue to ascertain his name, 
 and thereby add one more kindred claim to the Ust of noble 
 
 authors. 
 
 To Mr. Charles Fitz-geffrey.* 
 
 To you too, since I camiot shew my will. 
 Neither by loose prose, stricte ryme, nor in blank, 
 I send this ragged schaedule of my quiU, 
 As a dewe remembrance of my Thank. 
 
 * Vpon his printed Epigramme to mee, eaer my name written in golden magicall 
 letters in forme and Nature. Marginal note. 
 
The following is extracted from the Fitssgeoffridi Affanice, 
 Oxon. 1601. 8vo. sign. D 2, 6. 
 
 Ad GvLiELMVM Percivm. 
 Virum nobilem. 
 
 Vatxim candide carminumqj PERCl 
 
 Fautor optime, et autor optimonim 
 
 Idem et materies segesq) et idem 
 
 McBCcenis simul et Maro Britamius, 
 
 O quem nobilitant sacrae Camoenae, 
 
 O qui nobilitas sacras Camoenas, 
 
 Quae te jurfe colunt colimtiu" k te j 
 
 Quem Phtfibus decorat simidqj honestat, 
 
 Qui Phoebo decori es, simulqj honori> 
 
 Qui te ritfe polit politur k te, 
 
 Et grata vice quod capis reponis ! 
 Phcebiis me monet, me monent Camcenae 
 
 Hos tibi dare pessumos Phaleucos : 
 
 Illae scillicet admonent et Die 
 
 Culto carmina PERCIO probare 
 
 Illis si cupiam probata et Illi : 
 
 Quae, si Illis requeam probare et lUi, 
 
 Quod no hoc mihi sit (quod eja, non est,) 
 Posse carmina PERCIO probai-e j 
 
 Saltem Illae hunc animu prc^>ent et Ele 
 
 Qu6d certfe mihi sit, (quod ecce, certe est) 
 Velle carmina PERCIO probare. 
 
 The prompt assistance of my friend Dr. Bliss, enables me to 
 give the above extract, and to that may be added his own remark 
 thereon. " There can be no question, I think, that the author 
 " of your MS. was ths above William Percy, for this is the 
 " only name throughout Fitzgeffry's rare volume answering to 
 " the initials you have given me ; and from the above lines, it i& 
 " evident he was a poet." — 
 
 b 
 
At the period Fitzgeffry wrote, our author had published 
 Sonnets to the Fairest Coelia, printed for IsUp, 1594, and which 
 m 1818 formed one of the elegant reprints of Sir Egerton 
 Brydges, at the Lee Priory. 
 
 He was the third son of Henry, eighth Earl of Northum- 
 berland, was sent at the age of 15 (June 1588) to Gloucester 
 Hall, now Worcester College, and appears to have retired in 
 his latter days to Oxford, where he hved obscurely, and died 
 May 28, 1648.* 
 
 H. 
 
 • For more particulars see Dugdale's Baronage, I. 284. Brydges's Peerage, 
 II. 327. StraflForde Papers by Knowles, II. 168. 
 
THE 
 
 CUCK-QUEANES 
 
 AND 
 
 CUCKOLDS ERRANTS 
 
 OR 
 
 THE BEARING DOWN THE INNE. 
 
 A COM^DYE. 
 
 Parcite oues nimium procedere, non bene rips 
 
 Creditur, ipse etiam Aries iam vellera siccat. Virg. Ec. 3*. 
 
THE NAMES OF THE PERSONS. 
 
 Richard Tarlton The Prologue. 
 
 Floradin A young Gentleman booted and spurrd. 
 
 Claribel An other Gentleman hisfreind booted and spurd. 
 
 Aruania A Gentlewoman Floradins wife. * 
 
 Doucebella An other Gentlewoman Claribels wife. 
 
 Rafe Page to Floradin. 
 
 Rooke Page vnto Claribell. 
 
 Janekin waiting woman to Aruania.* 
 
 Joice waiting woman to Doucebella. 
 
 Nim a Lift. 
 
 Shift An other Lift hisfellowe. 
 
 Lacy A Captaine booted and Spurrd. 
 
 Denham An other Captaine booted and Spurrd, 
 
 Pearle A Doctor of the Ciuill Lawe. 
 
 Christian His wife. ' 
 
 Sanders A Ciuilian. 
 
 Periman An other Ciuilian. 
 
 Wright A Gold-Smith. 
 
 Pigot Master of an Inne the Tarlton. 
 
 Latro A Raunger. 
 
 Oliuel Latroes wife Big and Mannish, rather a Fubbe Big 
 
 faire. 
 Hare Latroes Man. 
 Grex. 
 
 Gentlemen 
 I lykebothin 
 > their Attyre 
 J and cul- 
 lours. 
 • They had 
 lowe Pe- 
 rukes, lowe 
 wyres and 
 cullourd 
 veluet 
 Gowns 
 both, faire 
 blouzes 
 both and 
 crump 
 shoulderd. 
 *In robes 
 of Sylk and 
 Perukes 
 both. 
 
 and 
 
THE PROPERTIES. 
 
 Harwich, In Midde of the Stage Colchester with Image of 
 TarUon, Signe and Ghirlond vnder him also. The Raungers 
 Lodge, Maldon, A Ladder of Roapes trussd vp neare Har- 
 wich. Highest and aloft the Title The Cuck-queanes and 
 Cuckolds Errants. A Long Fourme. 
 
THE 
 
 CUCK-QUEANES 
 AND CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 
 
 THE DIRECTION. 
 
 Tarltons Ghost after Second Sounding, Rather to be omitted 
 if for Powles, and another Prologue for him to be brought 
 in Place. The Ynder^Signe, Beame, Image and Ghirlond I 
 except. Played awhile lowe on his Tabour, then Spake as 
 followes, standing at entrance of the doore and right vnder the 
 Beame. 
 
 Tarltons Ghost The Prologue. 
 
 Spectators, For as much as deedes do so clearely flash mee 
 into your eyes, I neede not (Superstitiously) recapitulate, into 
 your eares now, either my name or my Person, For without all 
 Paraduauntour (That by your license and Permission I may vse 
 myne own Phrase and myne own Dialect to you. Gentlemen) 
 most infallible Demonstrations and Arguments will prompt the 
 the same to you. My Drum, my Cap my Slop, my Shooe, yea 
 that same old and merry M'^ Tarlton, the quondam Controller 
 and Induperator of this Inne you do behold. But what? 
 
6 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Honest Gentlemen, more goes to making a Messe, in tyme of 
 neede, then foure, more to the full filling a wyne Quart then 
 common measure (the Burrage excepted) Besyde, as very 
 learnedly it hath beene sett down, one Swallowe maketh not a 
 Summer, as neither doth one Owle a winter, And therefore. Plat 
 and plaine, (Gentlemen) For and as concerning my comming to 
 you now, I would not haue you think my Ghost appeares ac- 
 coustred thus, as you see it is, Ladyes and Gentlewomen should 
 be in Loue with mee (Trust mee no such matter) But onely I 
 might do myne Host Pigot, Master of this Inne I weete, the 
 Tarlton in Colchester, his right, to weete the honour and office 
 of a freind. How ? Thus to celebrate an old Asses memory to 
 eternitye ? What ? to sett a perfect paterne of liim, in all his 
 hues and linaments, at his doore ! At a w}Tie-Tauerne too ? o 
 my heauenly Maker. Shall I be such an Ingratitude and per- 
 mcious wretch & forget this mans covirtesye? Shall I Anti 
 pathitically drench either his name or his fame in Obliuion? 
 Shall I inuest on mee the Bull-case of such a Monstrmn Hor- 
 rendum ? God forbid, sayes Apostle Paul. Yet a little com- 
 plement, and yet a httle complement, I beseech you, as whylom 
 I intimated oft the same vnto you. Sweet Gentlemen. Here in 
 this Inne, the now Tarlton, or Famihar in Colchester, wee haue 
 had, many and oft, betweene vs, consorts of many, the most 
 lushious, the most dehcate, the most sauoury. And, Oh, the most 
 Frisquin Bmn-Fiddles of this citie, of whom, mjme own deare 
 wife, God rest her Sweet SovJe, euer made vp the Thirteenth 
 to the dozen of them ; And yet notwithstanding, as well I see, 
 Old Bias holdeth still his old Byace, and hath not yet clenched 
 his house of the Mare, But hath maintained it in its Auncient 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 7 
 
 Bawdry, as by the Seqtiell shall appeare to you, euer since my 
 departure from this Sink of Sin, the World, which was, among 
 the rest of those Heroes of those dayes, in the yeare of our 
 Lord God, my Redeemer, 1588; and therefore, Honest Gentle- 
 men, as euer you haue honoured Richard Tarlton with your 
 Presence, So let him now but obteine one boone at your hands, 
 you would but sit quiet the while, censure meekly, and Judge as 
 Impartially, And if euer it shall so hap (as one day you may) you 
 passe by Colchester, as you trauell toward Ostend, this way, 
 Myne Host Pigot shall bestowe (Gratia gratis datis) vpon you, 
 in my behalf, the funerall Supper. So, Gentlemen, you be all 
 welcome, as I may well say (I meane paying vs your Shott, I 
 meane your ordinary, and wonted accustomed applause for the 
 same) vnto my fellowe, my Freind, and my Coiuitryman M"^ 
 Pigot his Inne, euen to that same the right-well known and 
 kenned Resemblance or statue of the right worshipful! Mr. 
 
 Tarlton, in Colchester. Gentlemen, frohck, I beseech you all.* »He Playd 
 
 a little then 
 departed. 
 
 *ACT I SCEN L .Herethey 
 
 sounded 
 
 ♦DOUCEBELLA FlORADIN RaFE JoICE. •They'^en- 
 
 terd from 
 Dou. JoicE, is James yet gone to Harwich with the letter ? 
 Joi. Mistris, an howre agone. 
 
 Dou. And has taken the black Nag along with him ? 
 Joi. Yes forsooth, and shall lyke you. 
 
 Dou. That Jade will bring him straite, to Maldon, I suppose** A Pawse. 
 I neede not repeate to thee, Floradin, 
 
8 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 How greate hath beene the loue, that I haue borne 
 
 To thee and thyne since first thou settst thy foote 
 
 (Since thy retume and landing at the stayes) 
 
 Within this wide circumference of Maldon. 
 
 The Maskes, the Banquets, and the Mummeries, 
 
 That for thy sake I have held this twelue months space. 
 
 Well witnes what haue beene, I speake not it 
 
 To cast it in thy Teeth, what I haue done, 
 
 I Witnes Cytheree I repent it not. 
 
 Nor euer shall. But trust mee, Floradin, 
 
 I am so Impouerished by the meane, 
 
 That I must dismisse my Familye needes. 
 
 For which I haue sent, to Harwich, thou seest, 
 
 For my Sweet Hearte to stop my Creditors, 
 
 (Newe come from his Peregrination home too). 
 
 Who lyke a Ravenous water-fall 
 
 Do rush on mee without respect or shame. 
 
 And therefore, Sweet my Freind, let mee once more 
 
 But obteyne thou wouldst forbeare my howse now. 
 
 Get thee to Hai'wich, welcome home thy wife. 
 
 Not doubting, but ere Janus reuests his Furrs, 
 
 We shall againe a floate with wonted cheare. 
 
 Flo. So strikes Joues thunder to the Passengers, 
 So sounds the ship-wrack to the Mariner, 
 As doe thy wordes, faire Doucebell, to mee. 
 Then, oh, persuade mee not, I will not hence. 
 Not the powres of Heauen shall reaue mee my Loue. 
 
 Dou. Doubtst me ? Floradin. Diddest thou want but ? 
 I filld thy purse with crowns, Broughtst thou freinds ? 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 
 
 I bad them welcome for thy sake. If sick ? 
 I haue playd the Nurse to cherish them, or what 
 Lykewise not done to shewe my loue to you ? 
 Then giue mee leaue, sweet Freind, By Joue, I sweare, 
 That that I doe, vnwillingly I doe. 
 Flo. O Bitter Sop of balefull wretchednes, 
 
 Sowrest Cup of thickest Acheron, 
 
 What paine, so greate, as may once be compared 
 
 Vnto those paines that parting loners feele 1 
 
 Beleeue me, Doucebell, the Hearte-deuouring Bird, 
 
 That daily feedes on gutt of Tytius, 
 
 The endles wheele, beset with hookes and crookes, 
 
 On which Ixion runs, or that round Ball, 
 
 Which the old Theife shoues rolling to and fro, 
 
 Be not halfe so greate, Then, Doucebell, let mee 
 
 Beseech once more thy dietye diuine, 
 
 Thou wouldst reuerse those dreadfull wordes of thyne. 
 
 Dou. Let Sol neuer, with his bright lampe, behold 
 This worlds circumference, if I do not 
 Rewe the Tymes necessity much as you, 
 But what ? if Cupid ne're vnbend his Bowe, 
 Certes he will disarme his arme I know. 
 Then be not greiud, if for this once I begge 
 Of thee, deare Floradin, this httle Boone. 
 Say shall I obteyne my suite, of you, now ? 
 ' Flo. Faire Doucebella, Sollace of my Soule, 
 Since neede will part the surest freinds I see, 
 
 1 will hie mee now toward Harwich home, 
 And ere a Summers passe returne to you. 
 
 c 
 
10 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Dou. Sweet freind, so doe, and by that, assure thy self, 
 I shall be ready to embrace thee with 
 • A Pawse. A liuelier Spirit.* So now I thank you. 
 
 Flo. Doucebella, farewell. (Dou.) Adieu sweet freind. 
 
 Flo. The lyke, to you. Come away, Sirrha Boy. 
 
 Raf. I come. Joice, I see Louers must part, so must wee too. 
 
 Jot. Rafe, to my bane be it spoken, I do feele me now to be, 
 Wholely, in quackmyre, for thy departure, Rafe. 
 
 Raf. What Remedy but Patience, Joice. 
 
 Joi. Rather a Remedy for Patience, Rafe. 
 
 Raf. Adieu, my sweet and sugred Joice. 
 
 Joi. Kind and honest Rafe, Adieu. 
 
 Raf. Neuer a deale the honester for you. 
 
 Joi. Goe Jewe, goe Jewe. 
 
 •Theymett *ACT I SCEN 2. 
 
 from Mal- 
 
 don aud 
 
 from Har- NiM ShIFT Lifts. 
 
 wich. 
 
 Nim. What ! Fellow Shift ! thou beest-welcome to Colchester 
 • He clapt ^y these cupple of Teasters, Shift.* 
 
 S'umbsoa ^^y't' Whom do I vieu ? whom do I behold? Nim? myne 
 
 hisfeUowes old pewfellow at the occupation? What? Gaudeo te valere,'Siin. 
 
 Nim. What now the newes, in London, Shift 
 
 Shift. These. Thames is as broade as it was euer, Poules 
 
 steeple stands in the place it did before, And Twopence is the 
 
 price for the going in, to a newe Playe there. 
 
 Nim. But what newe engins for maintainance of our trade ? 
 Man. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 11 
 
 Shift. These. First and Imprimis, if at any tyme I may but 
 percieue Poules steeple hath gotten him a Surueyour, gingerly 
 I steale after him, bind his two thumbes, flea his case, crack his 
 crown, leaue him to the open mercy of the heauens, Coelo tegi- 
 tur qui non habet vmam. 
 
 Nim. If in case a Bourger should passe that way, and, in case 
 the sayd Bourger should looke vp thither, for to take him 
 thence a Modell, for to build him such an other steeple by, as 
 was at first, Tertio Elizabethce, I meane, so mightest thou be 
 descried, so taken, so hangd. Forward. 
 
 Shift. Item and againe, if so, by chance, I see a Tearmer 
 trudgeth toward the Temple, I take him by the sleeue, stare 
 him in the face, bid him looke to himself, Then round as a 
 Jugler's boxe, whiffe his vpper vestment, and away. 
 
 Nim. If they, in the streete, should obserue eury one haue 
 but one single cloake a peice on his back, thou a coupple, him 
 none, Then necessarily they will conclude, thou, onely, thou, art 
 the man must stand thyne own Defendaunt against this his 
 Tearmer's case. Shift, be these thy Shifts ? By the Lord of 
 our Trade, I am, most repentauntly, sorie for thee. Shift. I can 
 shew thee twenty nimbler Legerdies, then these be, in a day, 
 Shift. 
 
 Shift. Pcean ante victoriam, Nim ; Thou amblest, before thy 
 Horse, to Market, Nim. 
 
 Nim. Exitus acta probat. Here some come, and here, loe, I 
 will couch for my Praye, Shift. 
 
 Shift. Then come on thy wayes, I say to thee. And let vs be- 
 hold it, Nim. 
 
12 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 *ACT I. SCEN 3. 
 
 •They *WrIGHT PeARLE NiM ShIFT 
 
 came from 
 
 Colchester. Wrtgh. Nay, Mr. Pearle, if your worship be so Tropicall 
 • He drewe with mee, I must needes haue a paire of Tables for you.* Now, 
 
 furth his oi- i i • t i i 
 
 writing Ta- ^^^i do you begin, 1 beseech you. 
 
 Perl. Thus, Wright, I do weaue thee my Exordium. Vol- 
 cane, Torno mihi labora, quantum potes poculutn profmidum, 
 which in Enghsh tearmes is to say, That thou wouldest make 
 mee a most monstrous swinging standing Bolle, o vulcan. 
 
 Wrigh. Your Exordiimi is ill knit, M*^ Doctor, I protest, 
 
 never yet was I marry ed I auowe to you, but liue still a Batchler. 
 
 Per. A vulcan secundum quid I incantit, viz. according that 
 
 thy Sculpture, that thy Fabricature, or Hanunercraft, Goodman 
 
 Wright. 
 
 Wrigh. Now I vnderstand your good worship. Forward, Sir. 
 Perl. Quantum potes profundum, I iterate and I iterate it to 
 thee. 
 
 Wrigh. Not too deepe, I pray you yet, least your worship 
 chaunce be choakt with a grape as was once your Authour. 
 WeD. 
 
 Perl. Be the substance syluer, the Accidental autem Pour- 
 traitures be they three gilt Anticks with as many gilt spoutes in 
 their Mouthes. 
 
 Wrigh. Sir, your Mysterie ? 
 
 Perl. They stand for the three Gods, of the three liquors, 
 therein, shall be conteyned, nempe the God of Sack, the God 
 of Hippocris, and the God of Metheglin. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 13 
 
 Wrigh. So, Sir, to the rest. 
 
 Perl. Mettletallifer thou mayst enamell the rest with Toungs 
 of as many cuUours, as there be in the Raynbowe, they saye. 
 
 Wright. How many cuUours, sayes your worship, hath the 
 Raynbowe ? 
 
 Perl. Innumerable. 
 
 Wrigh. Then, possibly, they be not to be set down, yet by your 
 worships leaue, I haue hearde some saye the Rayne-Bowe has 
 three cullours onely, and no more. 
 
 Perl. Propugnest thou mee ? I will oppugne thee, Mille tra- 
 hens varios aduerso Sole colores. 
 
 Wrigh. That's not Innumerable. But saye what's your wor- 
 ship's Hierogliphick, or symbole in these cuUour Toungs ? 
 
 Perl. Euen as these liquours, in this BoUe, conteyned, will 
 make a man speake diuersitye of Toungs, so, ex aduerso, this 
 Bolle these liquours conteyning, must, off necessity, be sett furth 
 with variety of Toungs, to expresse the same. 
 
 Wrigh. But do you heare mee. Sir ? will your worship haue 
 no noses be sett among your Toungs? For such liquours, as 
 these, will cause diuersity of Noses, well as of Toungs, you 
 knowe. 
 
 Perl. Thou mayst, betweene euery two pyde Toungs, depose 
 one gilt nose, So, with the Mother of Pearle, knock vp Finis. 
 
 Wrigh. Why, with the Mother of Pearle ? 
 
 Perl. For Because my Mother was a Pearle. 
 
 Wrigh. But why, with Finis, M"^ Doctor? 
 
 Perl. Because the word Finis, being cut in the wast, is Fine 
 is, which Carfox way, may. Indifferently, be alluded to my Mor 
 ther, to my Self, to my wife, as also, most adaptlye, to this my 
 Bolle now. 
 
14 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Wrigh. Excellent. But against when, would your worship 
 haue this BoUe ready now ? 
 Against Perl. B^ to morrow night, against wassell, sure. Fellowe, 
 
 this the pre- 
 sent dayes what's thy Price now ? saye. 
 
 Wrigh. Quantum potes profundum sayes your worship to 
 mee ? Mary, some twenty pounds sterling, with the Addition of 
 one good odd Noble ouer and aboue. 
 
 Perl. A most reasonable Animal he is sure. Bring him, but 
 to my howse, to morrow, shalt haue thy reward therefore. 
 
 Wrigh. I am so content. Farewell, Mr. Doctor. 
 
 Perl. O fare well to thee, my most Ingenious Wright. What 
 a saucy yeoman was this ! who would stand, so stiff, on Intergo- 
 taries, with my worships Patience ! So he would but haue sayed 
 Hum and but Hau, to mee, at euery worde I should haue 
 spoken to him, I should haue furnished his drye valt with a 
 whole shamble of Inuention, but still, so to interrupt mee, at eury 
 style, with quaestion Philosophicall (when I know there is no 
 more in him than, there is Pescod in an Oyster, or Oyster in a 
 Pescod (you may take whither of the Two you please, in this 
 place) For you must suppose, that I, I my self, haue engrossed 
 it, whole, into myne own Scullery ward) The Petulant knaue hath 
 so intoxicated my Brayne thereby, I shall weare my cap furred, 
 whilst I line by the meane. But viah, as very well sayeth that 
 the dusty Prouerbe, Forewarnd forearmd, and therefore, for to 
 Jogge it furth my worshipfuU hed, before it settle, I will, pre- 
 sently, in, to Market, and see there, what sweet Fish there is, 
 for dinner, now to be had. So a good god morrowe, vnto you 
 all now. Gentlemen, the whiles. 
 
 Nim. So ho, So ho, I haue him, I haue him. So ho, So ho, 
 who ho ho, who ho ho, ho ho ho, ho ho ho. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 15 
 
 Shift. The BoUe! the BoUe, Nim! Where is it? Man, 
 where ist ? 
 
 Nim. Shift, If I shew thee not such a hurle, of Legerdemaine, 
 as euer beheldst yet, with those Prunelles of thyne, Shift, neuer 
 call mee Nim hencefurth. In Pawn whereof, Sirrha, come 
 thou now dine, with mee at signe of the Tarlton straite, come. 
 
 Shift. I but, with what ? Nim. 
 
 Nim. Wy the Bolle, Man, the Bolle. 
 
 Shift. A cold dinner, belyke thou meanest. But goe thou in 
 before, after I shall haue sayd but grace, I will foUowe thee 
 straite. 
 
 Nim. Grace? Shift. 
 
 Shift. A Song, I meant it. 
 
 Nim. If that be thy Grace, shift, let vs heare thee to sing it 
 with a grace, shift. Begin. Shift thou shalt see mee, haue at 
 this Bolle, anone, sure. 
 
 Shift. And to heaue at him too, Nim. 
 
 Nim. So to be vnderstood too, shift. Saye. 
 
 The First Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 With a whist and with a Hush 
 Hast wee both Two to the Bush 
 Before it be close of day e 
 
 To heaue this Bolle hoa, away 
 
 With a whist and with a Hush 
 Hast wee both Two to the Bush. 
 
16 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Neither keene knife, nor yet Thumbe, 
 May whiff him by slit or by numbe, 
 Ned Brown, neither old Pociis 
 May haue their rules in this case. 
 With a whist and with a Hush 
 Haste wee, both Two, to the Bush. 
 
 3. 
 
 But wylie Nim, wylie Shift 
 Must heaue him at a dead lift. 
 The sleight lyeth, of the whole. 
 Not in tlie Thumbe, but in Soule, 
 With a whist and with a Hush 
 Hast wee, both Two, to the Bush. 
 
 4. 
 
 Goe wee, goe wee, both two, 
 Eftsoones to furnish vs now 
 With iuyce of vine-yard, so strong. 
 Both sconces, as doth belong. 
 With a whist and with a Hush 
 Hast wee, both Two, to the Bush. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 17 
 
 ACT I SCEN 4. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Claribel in cullourd veluet, Gentleman lyke, as Floradin in 
 cuUours. Aruania Rooke Janekin. A Seruing man in 
 blew coate, Claribel with letter in hand open. They enterd 
 from Harwich all. 
 
 Cla. Cleare vp those eyes, my dearest Aruanye, 
 That were framed neuer, I dare auouch, 
 For other end then for sport and dalliaunce, 
 Thou knowst Louers must part, so lykewise wee. 
 For what's the Thing, in this circumference, 
 That does not rise and fall by mutuaU tume. 
 Then giue me leaue, sweet freind. For I protest. 
 From Harwich I part not with willingnes. 
 
 Aru, No no, my Joye, my comfort, Claribel, 
 I neuer expected other from first. 
 You men, when once you surfet on our Loue, 
 Or you haue got a Masterye on vs, 
 Straite you become so cold, so wauering. 
 So glorious and so fantasticall. 
 
 That in your wordes and gestes you shewe such tokens. 
 As if what Venus meant you neuer knewe. 
 
 Cla. Why, louely freind, from my wife by letter, 
 On sudden newes of my retume from Bantam, 
 Am cited home, in hast, thou seest, to Maldon, 
 Batchelours may, as they please, or goe or tarrie, 
 Wee'are bound, by the chaine Necessitye, 
 
18 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 To Children, Wife, and Family, Therefore, 
 Deare Hearte, persuade not, For I must be gone. 
 
 Aru. If once thou gett'st from mee thou'lt ne're retume. 
 
 Cla. Think'st mee, yfaith so dambd a wretch, I will 
 Contemne the dreadfull hand of wrathfiill Joue, 
 To satisfye alone Comoditye ! 
 Sooner shall this vayle rent in two, then that 
 I doe subscribe to that vyle Periurye. 
 
 Aru. Thy Parture pales not so my thoughts yet. 
 As care, if thou be parted, from my sight, once. 
 Thou wilt be cold and careles in thy loue. 
 Ha, this is it, that nippeth, Claribel. 
 
 Cla. Aruania, I protest, by that faire howre. 
 In which I first possest thy love itself. 
 Next, by that Ladder, hong, to hale mee vp, here. 
 Then by that fruite I reapt there, my Hearte, 
 Where that it setteth, firme as Adamante, 
 Shall bend vnto the Load-stars of thy eyes, 
 And that thou mayst suppose, I do not part 
 With willingnes, I do sollomly sweare now. 
 Ere winter, I will, againe, be in Harwich. 
 •She tooke Aru. Swome will you be perfourme what you sayd then?* 
 
 him by the 
 
 hand. Not to forsake me but retume with speede ? 
 
 Cla. This and all, I do, dewly, sweare vnto. 
 And, on thy lip, do I seale the Bond thus. 
 Adieu, sweet freind, (Aru.) On condition y'haue leaue. 
 Sweet Loue Adieu. (Cla.) Adieu once more. (Aru.) Farewell. 
 Cla. Come away. Knave. (Roo.) I come. (Ar.) And you. 
 (Jan) I come. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 19 
 
 Roo. But, Janekin, what wilt now doe when I am gone ? 
 Jan. I shall be troubled, with a Ladyes desease, Rooke. 
 Roo. What's that ? Janekin, say you. 
 Jan. With a Ladyes Lon^g, Rooke. 
 Roo. I, with a Lordes, Janekin. 
 Jan. What's that ? say you too now. 
 
 Roo. With a most Importunate and furious Priapisme, Ja- 
 nekin. 
 Jan. But how ? if it wax too furious ? Rooke. 
 Roo. Fresh water will quell him, Janekin myne. 
 Jan. Rooke, Adieu. 
 Roo. The lyke, Janekin to you. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
 ACT II SCEN 1. 
 
 *ViGOT l^^iTA SniFT from Colchester. •With 
 
 Shift's 
 
 Pig. You whooreson dishonest Knaues, then will you come to his arme. 
 an honest mans bowse, And there eate vp his meate and his 
 drinke, then to haue no moneyes in your purses to paye him his 
 Reckoning, when so you haue done, loe ? 
 
 Shift. Myne Host Pigot, what needed this stirr? Quod de- 
 fertur non aufertur^ thou shalt haue it all, before night, I assure 
 thee, Man. 
 
 Pig. Qui non est hodie eras minus aptus erit. 
 
 Nim. Good M"^ Pigot, let my fellowe haue his coate. There 
 will be a Bolle, here, anone, shall paye for all, yfecks. 
 
20 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Pig. Then Lightning light on my Pate. 
 
 Shift, And the Haemoroides consume thy fundament, Pigot. 
 
 Nim. O more than Scythian inhospitallitye, shall a good fel- 
 lowe, hauing no more shifts than he hath, be turned furth all 
 the shifts he hath, but for some httle scuruie meate and drink ? 
 Ha. 
 
 Pig. Heare you, Gentlemen, when your Bolle comes you shall 
 haue more. In the meane tyme, honest Homers both, get you 
 furth my doore. 
 
 Shift. Hearst, Pigot, if my fellowe do not compasse this 
 Bolle what shall I giue thee ? But if my Fellowe do compasse 
 this Bolle, what wilt, contrary wise pawn to me ? 
 
 Pig. Pardon mee. Gentlemen, for I vse not deale vpon 
 retumes. 
 
 Nim. Pigot, for thy Incredulity, thou art damd, the Bolle is, 
 sure, myne, as that money is thyne, in thy Pocket, Pigot. 
 • He feeles Pig. Let me see, whither thou lyest, Sirrha.* 
 
 Nim. In Instance of which, Loe, yonder, comes my Man, Pigot. 
 
 Shift. Thy Man ? Nim. Where where is he, Nim, where. 
 
 Pig. Let mee haue but a sight of him, Sirrha. 
 
 Nim. Nay but stand close, I saye to you both, and waite wee 
 but the comming furth of the Gander all. Come. 
 
 ACT II SCEN 2. 
 Wright ahne. 
 
 Wrigh. Loe you all, honest Gentlemen, I haue ended, here, 
 his Bolle for him, yet notwithstanding, I dare auouch, for him 
 that a foolisher gawde hath neuer, yet, beene aduised, nay nor, 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 21 
 
 yet, deuised, by any hath, in him, a reasonable soule to be 
 saued by. Thus may good stuff be abused, you see, if it fall 
 into a Fooles hand. The best is, if so be, any tyme, hence- 
 fiirth, it shall fall into a wise mans hand, he will then, sure, 
 founder him, new, into some goodly Bell, so, aftei*, for to plant 
 him, close and flat on the Fooles weather cock, that so he may 
 rattle with him, lyke a Bull calf, as he passes along. Yet I will 
 carry him home, as he appointed mee, and ask my money there- 
 fore. Who's within here ? God saue you, M" Pearle, God 
 saue, I pray is M' Doctor at home ? 
 
 ACT II SCEN 3. 
 
 Christian Wright Nim Shift Pigot. 
 
 Christ. No, but if you would any thing with him, I am, as he, 
 rightly, Epithetizeth mee, the closet of his mind. 
 
 Wrigh. I haue brought him here, loe, a standing Bolle, he 
 bespoke against Wassell. Say you, Mistris, how lyke you the 
 workmanship of him ? 
 
 Christ. By St. Fryday, it may be yclipt well, of the wonders 
 of the world, the Eighth. 
 
 Pig. Thou, the Ninth. 
 
 Nim. Peace, Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Should I not speake ? when I haue reason ? Ho. 
 
 Wrigh. Mistris, you may deliuer him it from mee. And tell 
 him, I will come, againe, for my money, soone. 
 
 Christ. So, Sir. 
 
 Wrigh. Adieu, M" Pearle. 
 
 Christ. M"^ Wright, And you. 
 
22 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Pig. Freind, where is this Bolle now ? 
 
 Shift. Nim, wee saw the Bolle to glister that it was a Bolle, 
 wee hearde the Bolle to gingle that it was a Bolle, And wee vn- 
 derstood them talking that it was a Bolle too, But neuer could 
 wee come to the fingring of it yet, that it was a Bolle, Nim. 
 
 Nim. Rome was not built in a day. Masters, Nor a Syluer 
 Bolle may be conueyed so soone, Tantcs moUs erat Romanum 
 condere gentem, yet marke my Agilitye. 
 
 Pig. Shift, didst observe his Agilitye ? Nim is nimbd his way, 
 and Shift is left behind. Shift for the whole Reckoning, loe. 
 
 Shift. Pigot, thou art an Asse, wee that Uue, by hookes and 
 by crotchets, be the trewest Knaues,the one to the other, as any 
 be, in this wide world, I wisse. For loe you now, myne Host 
 dilue Pigot, if in case but he should but now treade his shooe awry, 
 
 and leaue mee pay the whole Reckoning, I so, in a spleene 
 might bewraye a thousand villanies he hath committed in his 
 dayes, nay the whole Fraternity besyde, so that, by consequence 
 of the Bargaine, he might, very easily, be hangd, the whole 
 Fraternitye extinct. And Shift shift trewe man to shift his neck 
 fiirth the Halter. Loe, where he comes, and a Hare with him, 
 in companie, too, to mend, I hope, our ordinary. See. 
 
 ACT n SCEN 4. 
 
 Nim with a Hare Shift. 
 
 Nim. O Master Mercury, inspire me with some witt, I may 
 now nimb this Bolle and be extold by it. 
 Shift. With a Heaue g,nd a Ho. 
 Nim. Hoa, whoe's within. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. «S 
 
 ACT II SCEN 5. 
 
 Christian Nim Shift Pigot. 
 
 Christ. What lack you ? young Man. 
 
 Nim. Is M" Pearles Horeship at home ? 
 
 Christ. I am that Pearle. 
 
 Pig. For fault of a better. 
 
 Nim. Textually, Mistriss, M"" Doctor recommends him to 
 you, sends you, here, by mee, a Hare, Biddes you bestowe your 
 whole Cookery on him, Bringeth certaine strangers, along, with 
 him, to dinner, M"^ Wright, my Master is bidden among the 
 rest. 
 
 Christ. Come, giue him mee. 
 
 Nim. Here Mistris. Moreouer and aboue he requireth, you 
 would send him, by mee, a standing Bolle, that was, he sayes, 
 brought you, this morning, by my Master. 
 
 Christ. What will his worship do with it ? do you troe. 
 
 Nim. Mary, Mistris, he purposes haue him newe molten, and 
 haue his own linaments of face placed on him, in lieu of one of 
 the Anticks, he sayes. 
 
 Christ. Tarry but, I will fetch him you. 
 Shift. Excellent. 
 
 Nim. Now, Mercury, if it be thy deare will, graunt, o graunt, 
 I may but nimb this Bolle, then in honour of thy Sacred triple 
 name, I will, once the day, pick purses one, two, and three, as an 
 acceptable, or Lucri-odiferous ofiring to thee. But loe it is 
 myne own, sure, I auowe to you aU, Sirs, See. 
 
24 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 ACT II. SCEN 6. 
 
 Christian Nim Shift Pigot. 
 
 Christ. Hold you, Freind. 
 
 Nim. I thank you, Mistris. TrilliU, myne Host, Am I not 
 now the man ? Am I not now that Troian ? Totam qui condere 
 gentem occoepit? Ha. 
 
 Pig. As I am trewe Pigot, yea trewe Pigot, qtuisi and as it 
 were trewe Spiggot, most trewly conueyd. 
 
 Nim. The Bolle, thou meanst it. 
 
 Pig. What els ? For I do well see the effect thereof. 
 
 Nim. Now, Sirs, the sport will be, See M"^ Doctor, when he 
 comes home and misses his Bolle, stare with his eyes,|grind with 
 his teeth, stamp with his feet, foame at mouth, call his Bedfel- 
 low whoore. Harlot, Bitch, and twenty more culuering Bolts, 
 he will cause be, full and blank, discharged, on her, then, Quos 
 nunc emittere longum est. 
 
 Shift. Lets, quickly, now goe in, snatch dinner," after come 
 furth, take our stands, and obserue the Beare-bating. Come. 
 
 Nim. Agreed. 
 
 Pig. And, Gentlemen, for a HanseH of your newe Bolle, I 
 will bestowe a Quart of my best Hippocris, heartily, on you. 
 
 Shift. And wee, myne Host, will drink him, to thee, as liear- 
 tilye. 
 
 Pig. First a Song of Thanksgiuing, then goe on. Yea and 
 shalt haue thy coate, Shift, now too. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 25 
 
 The Second Song The Hosts Song being. 
 
 1. 
 
 All lawd and Prayse be giu'n to God, 
 For each his gift both small and greate, 
 With which he, in numbrous loade. 
 Doth humane wretches us entreate. 
 
 2. 
 If wee should all our forces bend. 
 To recompense his benefits, 
 Wee should not our selues yet defend. 
 From our fell Aduersaryes drifts, 
 
 3. 
 
 Who eury howre doth pitch his toyle, 
 Our carelesfeet, in them, f enwrap. 
 Which if they should but giue vsfoyle. 
 What should become of our poors hap. 
 
 4. 
 
 On vs, good Lord, pourefurth thy Grace, 
 Wee reape each thing without our doubt, 
 Then shall wee in spite of Diuillsface, 
 Receiue such things wee Hooke about. 
 
 *ACT II SCEN 7. .They 
 
 came from 
 
 Floradin Aruania Rafe Janekin. nnwLch. 
 
 Flo, Shall I not make thee confesse ? Mignian, 
 (Whiles I haue beene in my Trauell abroad) 
 
 ill. 
 
36 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 How this engin came tyde to my windowe, 
 Or to what purpose 'twas here hong vp ? Ha. 
 
 Aru. You, vainly, labour to get, from mee That 
 I shall neuer vnfold. For by that knot 
 That iointly, int' one vnitye, bound vs. 
 This engin, till this day, I neuer sawe. 
 
 Rafe. I but twenty other you haue both seene and felt, in 
 yoiu" dayes, Mistris. 
 
 Flo. Is it possible, Aruania, what ? 
 A vice of Roapes, without thy Priuitye, 
 Should be hanged, I troe, at that windowe. 
 Where vsually, a mornes, thou dost deck thee. 
 And then to stamp it, full, into my face, 
 
 The engin, till this day, thou neuer sawe ? 
 
 Rfif. Some hauing espide a Bunnes neast, in the windowe, 
 the day, haue, here, set the Scalado, to besiege, at night, sure. 
 FU). Might it not be some of my Seruaunts? Troe, 
 
 To scale my window, in the night, so to 
 
 Cut my throate, and rob my howse ? (Ar.) Floradin, 
 
 Vpon faith and worde, if I were asked, 
 
 I dare, for their Fidelities, be sworne. 
 
 For my self. Sir, the Gods forbid I should but, 
 
 Against your self, ere harbour such a thought ; 
 
 You know, since our nuptiall, these twenty Summers, 
 
 What seruice I have yeilded to your will, 
 
 What care, what loue, In instance of the which, 
 
 I call thy self vnto my Record, Man, 
 
 What thing ? did you, any tyme, demaund, 
 
 Albeit it sport, but I haue done it. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 27 
 
 Raf. See, how cunningly my Mistris flatters him. 
 
 Aru. What lykwise drudgerie ? ere commaunded you, 
 But too I haue done it, Then, Floradin, 
 By the dreade Gods, shake off your Jelouzie, 
 And frohck faire, and chearely looke vpon mee. 
 Thy wife, thy loue, thy faithful! Aruanye. 
 
 Flo. Tell mee, gentle Aruanye, is it not 
 A Jin ? to trolle a Jacke, vnto your Bed, a nights ? 
 Come I not now neare you ? gentle Spouse myne ? 
 
 Aru. I do defye all such, that dare auerre. 
 That I am false vnto my Husbands bed. 
 
 Fh. But ist no Mark ? to brmg thy Haulk to lure ? 
 
 Aru. I haue no Haulk, to bring, I you assure. 
 
 Flo. I can no longer hold, Therefore t' outface 
 Thy shamles Impudency, loe, strumpet. 
 What I haue found, among thy boxes, late. 
 
 Raf. Victus, y faith, victus, victa, victum. 
 
 Aru. O mee, most miserable woman (Flo.) Lets see. 
 Come thou but, betweene the howres Two and Three, 
 A vice of Roapes shall be hung, furth, for thee. 
 The Lord, I had his name, I might now teare. 
 From their Regions, the Letchours entrayles. 
 For as I do, peicemeale, teare these Dictions 
 So should teare, from his ioints, his quarters, 
 But where's nought must needes there Patience be. 
 Aruania, I will neither schoole nor chide thee. 
 That were, when th' hopes past, clench an Aethiope, 
 But by the sacred oast, I sweare, to heauen, 
 I will leaue thee a begger, to the world. 
 
28 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 As euer yet was any, and so will make thee 
 The onely Mirrhour of Ingratitude, . 
 For all mens eyes, to gaze and wonder at, 
 The shame, the schome, the Peoples obloquie. 
 
 Aru. Ai mee. (Jan.) Deare Mistris (Flo.) Get in, get in 
 
 Get in, from me, get in, I say, you whoore. 
 
 Rqf. Mistris, Mistris, o beare you this your crosse with more 
 then Grisilaean Magnanimity, Oh, It will make you wise and 
 fijl warie how euer you come into lyke lime againe, Faine, Mistris, 
 
 I would haue shed teares for you, But they be such Milstones, 
 by my Troth, I should haue affict you worse with the faces I 
 should haue made with them. Farewell, my deare Mistris, Fare 
 well. Sir what be you now doing ? 
 
 Flo. I am studdying what course I were best to take now. 
 Raf. It had beene better, you had studdyed first, what you 
 should haue done before you had cast her off, then now to 
 studdy, what you woidd doe, now you haue cast her off. Sir. 
 Flo. I will studdy, at the Vniversitye, sure. 
 Raf. Studdy will breede Melancholy, and that Melancholy 
 being added to this Melancholy, now you be in, will tume you 
 into Bedlam. 
 
 Flo. I will lorney, back, into Italy. 
 
 Raf. Hauing aheady homes, as you haue, then lykewisc' 
 being Italionate, so might you become Diuell Incarnate. 
 Flo. O mee most miserable, what to doe or saye. 
 Raf. Now will you heare mee speake ? Sir. 
 Flo. Saye, wee do heare you, Sir. 
 Raf. The Spaniards, as your worship well knowes, be now on 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 29 
 
 our cost intending, with a pnisant Rascallity, as is to be sup- coast 
 posed, inuade our Land, Now, Sir, if you would but suflPer mee 
 rule you, who, in good sooth, should not rule you, I could wish 
 both, now serue, in paye, vnder her Maiestye, who now herself 
 is, in Person, at Tilbury, gathering there together, the homes 
 of her Power, to suppresse them. 
 
 Flo. The fittest course could be deuised. Follow. 
 
 Rqf. So, if you be wearie, as you say you are, of your life, 
 you may so, chaunce, haue yoiu: braynes dashed furth with a 
 keleeuer, alias dictum a Cleauer. 
 
 Flo. Come, I say. 
 
 Raf. Not too fast yet. For it is good comming first to a Feast 
 and last to a Fraye. 
 
 Flo. I, Sir, and enough is good as a Feast, they saye. Come. 
 
 Rqf. I do come. 
 
 ♦ACT II SCEN 8. •They 
 
 come from 
 
 Claribell Doucebella Rooke. 
 
 Cla. Doucebella, fare well and Adieu, See you looke to my 
 howse, I will but visite, loe, my Bark, now riding at Harwich, 
 and within three or foure dayes, I will, againe, be at home. 
 
 Dou. Or Foure but ? 
 
 Cla. No more then Foure Sweet Bed-Make. 
 
 Dou. O bitter Anguish to my dying Soule. 
 
 Cla. I prithy, get in, and looke to thy charge, I say ; Inconti- 
 nent, I will retume. 
 
 Dou. Incontinent? Sir. 
 
 Cla. Incontinently Incontinent. 
 
 Maldon. 
 
30 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Dou. Fare well my Lord, if needes so you will haue it then, 
 But 
 
 • He Cla. Adieu, Sweet Duck.* 
 
 firownd on 
 
 her, her Roo. And be hangd, quoth the Clark. 
 
 back being 
 
 tnrnd. Cla. Vnfortunate Claribel, that euer 
 
 Lynkt thou hast beene to noble Parentage, 
 
 For as that wight (gaue name to Icarye) 
 
 So high soared the burning sphaere, that molt 
 
 Weren, at last, the bearers of his Flight, 
 
 So those wiues, that be sprong from high descent. 
 
 Will stint their Prodigall spendings neuer, 
 
 Till they haue consumd their husbands to cinders. 
 
 I speake not this, to repine at any 
 
 They spend in reason, But to make their howses 
 
 Stewes and Brothells, it searcheth to our marrowes. 
 
 For, Lords, what Reakes haue beene kept in my howse, 
 
 (Ere my home retume from my worldly Trafique) 
 
 Here in Maldon ! this tweluemonths space, what sports ! 
 
 What games ! what Playes ! That no where I may passe. 
 
 But rimes be made up against my Bed, and Homes 
 
 Hung at my gate, Besyde which. Creditors 
 
 Rush vpon mee, which if they do but follow 
 
 gyaes I see no meane there's But bonds and Fetters, 
 
 Therefore, Doucebell, accuse thee I nill. 
 
 Thy freinds be mighty, and may down poyse mee. 
 
 But that I loath thy falshood, I will leaue 
 
 Thy self to thy self, nor ere hence more looke 
 
 Vpon thy false abhorred face, But as 
 
 Thou hast liud a blot to mee and myne. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 31 
 
 So will I lyue from sight of thyne, And thus 
 I bend my steps vnto the clefts of Harwich, 
 There retyred my former dayes to guarish. 
 Come away Sir, (Roo.) I follow you Sir. 
 
 Here they Icnockt vp the Consort. 
 
 *ACT III SCEN 1. •They 
 
 liiett, Den- 
 
 Denham Lacy booted and spurrd, with Truncheons both. Maidon, 
 
 Lacy from 
 
 Denh. Captaine Lacy, whither away ? Saye. Harwich. 
 
 Lac. Sir, to London, with a presse, and you ? 
 
 Denh. I, to Tilbury, with my Presse, newly, pressed. 
 
 Lac. I haue to tell you, Denham, that the campe is remoued 
 to Colchester, And that, thither, I had expresse Commaundment, 
 to direct you, from the Queene. 
 
 Denh. Be it so. But what's the newes now ? Lacy. 
 
 Lac. These. The Enemy haue layne their soules to gage, 
 they will enter with their forces, before to morrow night Col- 
 chester Twown, Sent a Herault, they will, next day Imediatly, Towa 
 ensewing, take the honourable Citie of London, vntyle their 
 howses, crack their Maydenheds, pull down churches, set vp 
 brothells, and twenty other Tennagaunt offers, be not to be 
 named, by any, beares but the name of a christian, Denham. 
 
 Denh. But what the Third day ? Lacy. 
 
 Lac. They threaten, the Third day, they will geld our Law- 
 yers, For it is to be supposed, they say, if they should but 
 leaue them vngelded, as they be, they would Multiplye to that 
 encrease, that hauing no Commons left them, in England, they 
 
S2 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 would swim ouer, in shoales, to the Indyes, And there (as the 
 Gothes, whilom, did in Italy) vndoe Spaine of his gold mines, 
 so to returne home, with golden whips, vpon the long Tayle of 
 this our Land. 
 
 Denh. On that condition, would I were one too, Lacy. 
 
 Lac. Gelded, thou meanst it. 
 
 Denh. Nay, for that, my Horse should be my Deputie, Lacy. 
 
 Lac. As how ? saye. 
 
 Denh. Thus, Euen as our Parsons be bound, either goe 
 to the warrs themselues, or to send thither a Horse in their 
 steede. So I, for some small vnguent, I should applye to my 
 Geldin his cods, he should supplye my roome, Lacy. 
 
 Lac. Most excellent. 
 
 Denh, But what sayes Elyzabeth to these braues? Lacy. 
 Saye o saye. 
 
 Lac. Little or nothing, But lyke a sufficient wise Lady, the 
 world knowes her she be, she hath sent the Lord AdmiraU and 
 diuers before, to confront them with her Fleet, But what will 
 become (of) his Embasie, the Lord knowes, Captaine Denham, 
 not wee. 
 
 Denh. How think you it will proue ? Captaine 
 
 Lac. No leisiire I haue now to tarry with you, But this assure 
 you, wee shall come home, all vs, with our Pates broken crosse. 
 
 Denh. Be it but that, Captaine, I do not doubt. But that wee 
 shall, easily, repaye them their Quarters hkwise. 
 
 Lac. My hope's wee shall. Adieu. 
 *c^S Denh. The lyke to you, Captaine Lacy. 
 
 Denham to ^atf. And send vs all a Magazine of Purchase. 
 
 Harwich, 
 
 Lacy to Denh. The Lord, wee may. Adieu.* 
 
 Maldon. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 3S 
 
 ACT III SCEN 2. 
 Aruania Janekin /row Harwich. 
 
 Aru. Faith, Janekin, since the good man hath forsaken howse 
 and harbour thus, what shall wee two, now, do ? to repaire the 
 broken walles of him, since he hath left vs the whole amends, in 
 our hands, loe. 
 
 Jan. I think it conuenient, wee let them furth to Beggers, 
 Mistris, And trusse those ragges, he hath left vs, and to seeke 
 an other place of feeding. 
 
 Aru. If he had had, any the least drop of a christian's blood, 
 in him, he would neuer haue left vs, in the lurch thus, without 
 any one groate to blesse vs, Janekin myne. 
 
 Jan. Trewly, Mistris, I would willingly, trauell to London, 
 seeke my Fortune there. They say there, their howses be of 
 Marchpaines, and the walles, all be of Custard crusts, yfecks. 
 
 Aru. A pretie Metaphore it is, yet I see, thou knowest not. 
 what the trewe meaning, thereof, is, Foole. 
 
 Jan. Yet, in sadnes, let vs trauell thither. For as the Pro- 
 uerbe auerreth, Store is no Sore. There, perhaps, wee may 
 gather yet, vnder boards, a fewe of their crummes, or some of 
 the scraps of their loathed refusalls, Mistris. 
 . Aru. Fye, Fye, Let vs neuer beg, for the matter, good Ja- 
 nekin, Thou knowest Beggers be but the froth and scumme of 
 the world. It were much better, since thou and I haue beene, 
 so long, Mignians to sacred Minerua, turne embroiderers there, 
 so for to scratch vs a liuing, furth both, the very excrement of 
 the worme, Janekin. 
 
34 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Jan. Mistris, be it as you have sayd, yet first, notwithstand- 
 ing, wee be to looke, right narrowly, to it, before wee shall be 
 got thither, wee be not taken vp, both vs, for a Commodity of 
 rawe Sylk, Mistris. 
 
 Aru. Why so ? I pray you, why rawe sylk ? you Foole. 
 
 Jan. The wayes, now, be so pesterd, with soldiers, Mistris, 
 wee shall not passe^ for them, Scot free, I feare. Is not that raw 
 or rawe Sylk ? I pray you. 
 
 Aru. Janekin, myne own credit be it on pawn for that, wee 
 haue a Queene, now Generall of the Campe, who resideth now 
 in Colchester, she is the Mayde of Maydes, and the woman of 
 women, and she will protect, I am sure, distressed women in 
 theire neede. Thither let vs, she shall be my vltimum Refugium, 
 and vnder hope of her sacred Justice, I will set forward what 
 euer come of it, Then come, I say, confidently, and let vs be 
 iogging both. 
 
 Jan. Mistris, Since you be detennind so, I will obey you, in 
 what I may. 
 
 Aru. One thing may not be forgot yet. 
 
 Jan. What is it ? I pray you. 
 
 Aru. A whole Bottle of Rosa Sohs hath not his fellowe, for a 
 broken contrited hearte, wench. Hast any, about thee ? Jane- 
 kin, Saye. 
 
 Jan. A whole Bottle, for the nonce, Mistris. 
 
 Aru. That's an own wench, by my Troth. Come on, one Up- 
 pet of him before wee part. So, now come on in God's name, 
 Let vs both take horse, and away, once more come on. 
 
 Jan. I obey you, Mistris. 
 
 Aru. But first, thy newe ditty, I prithy. Saye. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 35 
 
 The Third Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 Sorrow, Sorrow make hast with speedy wing, 
 
 Eyes fall floods for my departing. 
 You Birds that, by way, do sitt harbouring. 
 
 Bear witnes of my dishearting. 
 
 % 
 The Trees drop leaues in Symbole of my Plight, 
 
 The Floods rise at my ouerthrowe. 
 The caues bellowe,for Tnee, distressed wight. 
 
 The Rocks rebellowe with my woe. 
 
 3. 
 
 Come all you Ladyes of the Hills and dales, 
 
 Comfort mee in my wretched neede. 
 My deare, alas, hath lept over the Pales, 
 
 And left mee nought but greife in steede, 
 
 4. 
 Why wayle I thus for it that will not be ? 
 
 Hee^s flown, hee's flown, I swear e by Pan, 
 Then let mee sing to those giue eare to mee, 
 
 Come home, come home, o my good man. 
 
 ACT III SCEN 3. 
 NiM Shift Pigot. 
 
 Nim. Couch close, myne Host, and stiijt thy coughing, or wee 
 shall loose the game, by thy meane, now. 
 
S6 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Pig. Gentlemen, I am so pesterd with a Murr, I may not 
 chuse, 
 
 Nim. Then once, for all, and be hangd. 
 
 Pig. Come on. 
 
 Nim. Yet. 
 
 Pig. WeU. 
 
 Nim. Yet. 
 
 Pig. So. 
 
 Shift. One pluck more, I beseech you. 
 
 Pig. Goe to, one pluck more. 
 
 Nim. Now stint. Behold Calues comming will cause thee 
 cough furth thy lungs, Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Recall your opinions. Gentlemen, For they be sheepe, 
 not Calues, you do behold. 
 
 Shift. Obserue wee yet the conclusion hereof. 
 
 Pig. Come on. Sheepe, by my Troth. 
 
 ACT m SCEN 4. 
 JoicE DoucEBELLA /rom the Tarlton Pigot. 
 
 Jot. Deare Mistris, will you neuer leaue? troubling you 
 thus, But make yourself a Pinaunt and a Ghost, for one, who 
 cares not, I protest, the sole price of one blew Button, for you, 
 what ? 
 
 Don. My sweetest Joice, shall I tell thee what ? This is the 
 very case and maiue of it. In deede the man himself, he is such 
 an other, in regard of his basenesse, I may well spare him for 
 an other. But to loose such a Portion by him, as also all that, I 
 brought, with mee, to him, too, for nothing, may moue a con- 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 37 
 
 stanter Temper than my self am off, to bewayle the Fortune, 
 Joice. 
 
 Joi. I marry, Mistris, now you speake, Somewhat to the 
 purpose, indeed, la. But what does your worship intend doe 
 herein now ? or wherefore haue you brought vs to Colchester ? 
 Mistris. 
 
 Dou, Mary thus, pretie Joice, I intend to do herein, now. I 
 heare it certainly reported, by some, since our comming to 
 Town, that my Foole, he intends become a Capouchin. 
 
 Joi. Intends? Mistris. That he is already, by your leaue 
 and by your license, Mistris. 
 
 Dou. I prithy, interrupt mee not, But heare what I shall say 
 to thee. Foole. 
 
 Joi. Saye on. 
 
 Dou. Since I cannot find him here in Colchester, as I was 
 perswaded I should haue done, without further abode here, I am 
 determined now hunt, drye foote, after him, far as, from hence, 
 to Harwich, Joice. 
 
 Joi. How will you passe, for Soldiers ? Lambe. 
 
 Dou, Hauing ah-eady her Maiesties Passe-port, and being 
 both vs, women, as her self is, too, I do not doubt, but that wee 
 shall so obteyne an easy passe, nay too reach Harwich yet, be- 
 fore to morrow night, Joice. 
 
 Joi. Well, then ? 
 
 Dou. There before my Foole get him aboard. First and Im- 
 primis, I will take him by the Capouch, then will I threaten him, 
 if so he will not make his Peace with mee, to witnes against 
 him, as against a Traitour, and that hence he was flying to the 
 Enemyes Fleet, go after to become a Capouchin, and that the 
 
S8 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Martialls be all now vp to apprehend him, who rather then that 
 he will forfaite so much of his soiile for a lye, I think he will be 
 better aduisd, and come to composition with mee his Repudiate, 
 with the Martialls also, thou vnderstandest mee ? Joice ? How 
 sayest thou ? will not this most strongly work vpon him ? Joice. 
 
 Joi. Yes, in good Truth, will it, Mistris, And therefore, I 
 could wish, you would about it, with all the speede you may, 
 Mistris. 
 
 Dou. Well rememberd. It is the best indeede la. And 
 therefore do thou. Incontinently, bid James saddle our Two 
 Naggs, and make before vs, to the Mount-style, that is without 
 the Town, while thou and I get the money Bagges together, and 
 come after. 
 
 Joi. But will not our moneys be let furth, for vs, by the way, 
 weene you? 
 
 Dou. No, I warrant thee, goe and feare not. 
 
 Joi. I goe, and will not be long, before I be with you againe, 
 Mistris. 
 
 Dou. Doe so, good Joice, In the meane^tyme, with the best 
 speed I may, I will make mee ready, vntill thou come. Come 
 on thy wayes. 
 
 Joi. I come. 
 
 Pig. When heu, when heu, Now goe thy wayes, for as arrant 
 an Ewe, as euer pist, I auowe. But retume wee now, all, to 
 that the buisinesse wee haue in hand now, For, loe, in Pudding 
 time, yonder come the Calues wee talkt, I suppose ; Stand close, 
 I bid you all, and listen, vnto them, wee. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 39^ 
 
 ACT III SCEN 5. 
 
 Sanders Pearle Periman Wright Nim Shift Pigot. 
 
 Sand. Not too fast, M"^ Doctor, not too fast, Sir, Take vs also, 
 along with you, I beseech you. Sir. 
 
 Perl. M"" Sanders and M' Periman, If I shewe you not such a 
 peice of Hammer-craft, as euer, yet, hath been fabricated on a 
 Cyclopean stithye, neuer giue you my worship credit hence- 
 furth. 
 
 Peri. Is it possible, such Inuention you speake ? should be 
 couched in the Pate of man ? M"^ Doctor. 
 
 Perl. It is a Riddle 
 
 Pig. Which none but Nim may disolue. 
 
 Sand. Then wee beseech you. Sir, you would but riddle vs 
 your Riddle. /[ 
 
 Perl. If Oedypus were aliue, he might not dissolue it. 
 
 Wrigh. Gentlemen, thus much, I dare, myself, assure you, I 
 haue done much work in my dayes, but that euer yet I did any 
 comparable to this I can not affirme. 
 
 Peri. Prithy, what's the deuice of him ? saye. 
 
 Perl. No, as thou respectest my heauy hand, wright. 
 
 Wrigh. Hands off, I pray you, Sir. 
 
 Perl. You shall be the seuerall Explicitors, all, of the Gor- 
 dian. Now for as much as I would willingly know, of what 
 dough, your Seuerall Pericraniums be kneaded. Sirs, you shall 
 not praemeditate your solutions, before you trye it your selues. 
 
 Sand. Sir, after these Praeambles, shall wee haue a sight of 
 your Monster now ? 
 
40 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Perl. No, For who so enterd, into the Sanctuarye of their 
 Gods, vsed first clench them with drops of the well. So you, 
 before you drink of this neuer-too-much-to be admired Hippo- 
 crene, must wash your harish throates, now first, with the sweet 
 dewes of an Hymne. 
 
 Peri. M*^ Doctor, wee neuer learned sing, in our Uues, you 
 know. 
 
 Perl. Then let the Goldsmith now for to streyne him, while 
 I my self beare, to him, a Burden. 
 
 Shift. And wee, out of this corner, lyke that the Three-fold 
 Echo, will make three Reports to your Burden. 
 
 Nim. And with Three claps, vpon the Bum of him together. 
 
 Perl. Begin, Wright, begin, Man. 
 
 Peri. If by any meane, it may so stand with your will, I pray 
 dispence with your Song, and shewe vs but yoxu* BoUe. 
 
 Perl. Not vpon any condition, M"^ Periman, I do assure you. 
 
 Sand. Yet be it so, good M"^ Doctor, wee beseech you. Sir. 
 
 Perl. Well then, goe to, at both your seruices, be it, Gen- 
 tlemen. 
 
 Pig. Now open the eyes of all Things, Spiritual!, caelestiall, 
 Aquaticall, Aeriall, Terrestriall, for to behold this Monster, in 
 Nature, fiirth comming. I do Implore you all, you Gods, of 
 Olympus, all. 
 
 Perl. Hoa, Christian, Hoa. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 41 
 
 ACT III SCEN 6. 
 
 Christian Sanders Pearle Wright Periman Nim Shift 
 
 PiGOT. 
 
 Christ. Here, forsooth, Husband. 
 
 Perl. Woman, bring mee fiirth that standing BoUe, that was 
 brought thee from mee, full well do I know, this morning. 
 
 Christ. Sir, I sent it you back an howre agone. 
 
 Perl. Sent mee it back an howre agone ? where ? when ? 
 whither ? why ? by whom ? Say you whoore. 
 
 Christ. M' Wrights man came for it, in your worships 
 name. 
 
 Perl. I sent for no Bolle, you cuck queane, I, M"^ Wright, did 
 you send for any ? Ha. 
 
 Wrigh. Trewly, Sir, I brought it her self my self, this morn- 
 ing. But neuer I protest to you, I did send for him againe. 
 
 Christ. I think, you will reduce mee into a Madnes. Did not 
 your worship send mee a Hare ? in token thereof? this mome, 
 to be drest, against your comming home, with certaine strangers 
 to dine with you ? Ha. 
 
 Nim. That's most trewe. 
 
 Perl. I sent you no Hare I, nor had I any stranger dine with 
 mee to day. Saye, Gentlemen, did I bid any you dine, with 
 mee, to day ? Saye o Saye. 
 
 . Sand. Neither to day, nor any tyme heretofore, wee durst be 
 sworne, on a Booke, for it, M'' Doctor. 
 ■ Perl. Is my standing Bolle gone ? you whoore, Ha. 
 
 Christ. Did not your worship send mee worde, you were pur- 
 
 G 
 
42 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 posed haue your own face be set vpon him, in lieu of one of the 
 Anticks, Sir, Ha ? 
 
 Peri. Wast Antique work ? M"" Doctor. 
 
 Perl. Didst deUuer him on that token ? Ha. 
 
 Christ. I did. 
 
 Perl. Hore, Hare, Harlot, Bitch, Fellatrice, Witch, Bawde, 
 Ribaud, Tribade. 
 
 Sand. Patient your self. 
 
 Perl. I will tume her hood ouer her eares. 
 
 Peri. Leniter qui sceuiunt sapiunt magis. 
 
 Perl. Sapiunt magis ! I know that to be most trewe. Why, 
 I haue beene, these twenty Summers, a Professor, here, in Col- 
 chester, yet was I neuer so disgract in all those Siunmers. 
 Gentlemen, but sujffer I come vpon her, I may bestryde her, 
 now. 
 
 Peri. Conteyne your self. Sir. 
 
 Sand. Doubtles, some of your freinds, minding bring you him 
 filld with Hippocris, haue left you, in pawn thereof, a Hare, loe. 
 
 Perl. Is my Standing BoUe gone ? yfaith. 
 
 Sand. Come, Sir, but walk one turne, in the feild, and coole 
 you. Then come wee back, all, make an end of this Noble 
 Lepus, Come I saye. 
 
 Perl. First let me haue but one fling, at her, I beseech you. 
 
 Sand. It may not be. 
 
 Perl. Hearst ? Qjaod defertur non aufertur. Find my Bolle 
 against my comming home. Huswife, or looke you for no other, 
 then for Fyar and Brimstone, from these fists you see. 
 
 Christ. Most ghastly Thunder-claps they will be, I assure 
 you, Gentlemen. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 43 
 
 Sand. Come I pray you ; Fie, M"^ Doctor, who would haue 
 thought you had beene so teasty. Fye, come I say. 
 
 Wrigh. I beseech your worship, you would but, deliuer mee, 
 now, my money, I might be gone. 
 
 Peri. That's a newe Song now. 
 
 Perl. Fellow, I am mouu'd, See you prouoke mee not. 
 
 Wrigh. I will followe, and speake to him, when he shall be 
 in his better mood, For now, quasstionles, he wants the speciall 
 difference of a Man. 
 
 Nim, Shift, didst euer heare better Musick ? in thy dayes ? 
 Shift. 
 
 Shift. No, by the Crowd of Apollo, Nim, haue I. Why, 
 Sirrha, this now was better to mee, than a Paire of Recorders, I 
 auow. 
 
 Pig. A Paire of Disorders, you should haue sayd, Gentle- 
 men. But now come, let vs in, all, and then laugh a good, at 
 this newe come dauncer, and dauncing Hobbie-Horse, Come. 
 
 Shift. Goe but you before, I will follow you. Hoa. 
 
 ACT III SCEN 7. 
 Christian Shift. 
 
 Christ. What lack you ? freind. 
 
 Shift. Good newes, Mistris, good newes, your Bolle is found. 
 
 Christ. Found ! The Blessing of our Sauiour. 
 
 Shift. Mistris, It is found I assure you. It was but a deuice 
 of M"^ Sanders, to put his worship in a chafe, And now they be 
 laughing the Gentleman, for it, furth his coate, all. 
 
 Christ. M'^ Sanders will neuer leaue his Caprichioes, I con- 
 
44 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 cieue him trewe, But beshrowe his hearte for it, For he has 
 purchased mee a foule day by the meane. 
 
 Shift. My comming now, Mistris, was for a Hare was be- 
 spoake for dinner. They mind all, to be merry with him now, 
 at M"^ Sanders his howse, and require, you would but come 
 ouer, also your self, and to eate your part thereof. 
 
 Clirist. Neuer with a better appetite since I was borne. 
 Tarry but here, I will fetch him to you straite. 
 
 Shift. Now, Lord, send vs but such an other Beare-bating, 
 once more, wee all do beseech thee, and that, with the best of 
 our Soules, o thou our most blessed Lord and Sauiour thou. 
 But loe, here she comes. I haue him, loe. 
 
 ACT III SCEN 8. 
 
 Christian Shift. 
 
 Christ. Hold you, young Man. 
 
 Shif. Mistris, dispatch, and make you ready, els they i^nll be 
 set, all, ere you come. 
 
 Christ. I warrant you, Freind, I. 
 Shift. Oh, I thank you, Mistris. 
 
 The Direction. 
 Here she deliuerd him the Harey in a Platter, rodsted. He 
 made a Mowe at her^ as she turnd her Back. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 45 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 1. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Aruania Doucebella in their riding attyres, Attendaunts Two 
 in blewe and Tawny coates, Tlieir women on either syde. 
 Doucebella from Maldon, Aruania from Harwich. They 
 spake aloof e. 
 
 Aruania Doucebella. 
 
 Aru. Thus warrs abroade and warrs in mind Importune, 
 I leaue my home and seeke abroade my Fortune. 
 
 Dou, Thus warrs in mind and none abroade compells mee. 
 To seeke out one, who'll nere be found, he tells mee. 
 
 Aru. I had a husband once, but he's bereft mee. 
 
 Dou. I had a husband once, but he has left mee. 
 
 Aru. A worse then myne the wordly eye beholds not. 
 
 Dou. A worse then myne, the heauenly coupe enfolds not. 
 
 Aru. He was repleate with poison inwardly, 
 And fiUd with Pride, and rancour outwardly. 
 
 Dou. Myne was as meeke as Aprill outwardly. 
 But full of sleights and falsehood inwardly. 
 
 Aru. Who would haue thought, Fate would haue plagu'd 
 mee so ? 
 
 Dou. Who would haue thought mingle she would such woe ? 
 
 Aru. Loe greife will eate mee, till it burst my hearte. 
 
 Dou, Loe greife will gripe mee, till I sink and part. 
 
 Aru. But had I one, lyke to my self in sorrow. 
 To whom I might vnburden all my sorrow. 
 
46 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 • mjne 2)ow. But had I an* equall mate in Fortune 
 
 To whom I might vnclaspe myne equall Fortime. 
 
 Aru. I might win, thereby, some redresse, I troe. 
 To ease these greifs, that doe torment me so. 
 
 Dou. I might some consolation reape at least. 
 Till these my sorrowes were, at once, redrest. 
 
 Aru. And yonder comes a Lady down the HiU, 
 Counting her silent steps with numbers still. 
 
 Dou. And loe a woefull Lady I espie 
 And sad, I weene, in gate and sad in eye. 
 
 Aru. Her woes do much, mee thinks ; resemble mjme. 
 
 Dou. Her greifs, Doucebell, swerue not much from thyne. 
 
 Aru. I will preuent her in saluting first. 
 
 Dou. I will preuent her in saluting first. 
 
 Aru. Lady, be you be well encounterd, Hayle vnto your self, 
 and a good god morrowe vnto your goodly companie. 
 
 Dou. Madame, the lyke to you, and to your companie I 
 wish. 
 
 Aru. If I may be bold ask, whither be you now trauelling 
 I beseech you ? 
 
 Dou. Farr as Harwich Clefts. You, Madame ? 
 
 Aru. I to London certes, For now here her Maiesties Campe 
 is so huge and mighty, I may not abide, one howre, in place, I 
 assure you, what make you them among. 
 
 Dou. Truth without fraude or dissimulation, my Husband 
 left me sole and forlome at Maldon, and highed him hither to 
 hide him from mee, so drawne mee, after him on woole-gather- 
 ing, in search of him, as now you see mee. Lady. 
 
 Aru. And certes myne is fled, I know not whither too. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 47 
 
 Dou. He was a man most inly treacherous, I assure you, 
 Madame. 
 
 Aru. My gentleman, let him wagge, whither he please, in the 
 name of Jehoua, For he was arrayed in fury all and in Incon- 
 stancy. 
 
 Dou. For my self, I was, vnto him, trewe as Touch. 
 
 Aru. Myne, if any one might have surpassed him in Jelouzie, 
 I should haue giuen him the Bucklers, in that behalf, sure. 
 
 Dou. Since both the Two haue beene of so euill and hard 
 complexion, why do wee not also (our honesties excepted) take 
 hands too, and ioine in Sisterhood both ? So vp to London, 
 careles, with the speede wee may ? 
 
 Aru. Verily well spoken. Loe thus I pawn you my Sister- 
 hood, Lady. 
 
 Dou. I, to you, myne.* •Here they 
 
 Aru. This sacred Bond to register, say, Gentlewoman, shall tist and 
 both vs haue, this night, one bed, in Colchester ? curtsy . 
 
 Dou. I agree.* •Here they 
 
 Aru. In Pledge whereof lets haue a Song now. hands both. 
 
 Dou. Yes, by my Troth, come on. And by the way, as wee 
 trauell. Let each vs tell to each her Fortune. 
 
 Aru, Euen so, and shall lyke you. Begin. 
 
 The Fourth Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 When men once growe wearie of LouCi 
 Then they froward and teasty proue. 
 Nothing, as then, may them remoue, 
 But that they will forsake their Loue, 
 
4« THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 2. 
 That Bond that bound them first together^ 
 As soone will both Jester and ivitheTf 
 The Knot, though hit of Gordium, 
 JSasy to vnbind will then become. 
 
 3. 
 
 Ladyes, little may you preuayle. 
 Cause your Friggats Bonnets to wayle, 
 But that they, vnder all their beare, 
 ^ Vp, vnto you, will tume the Reare. 
 
 4. 
 
 Unmaryd Maydes, giue eare to mee, 
 
 What I am to say, plaine and free, 
 Doe you not, to your weddings, Post, 
 Lesse you would feele them to your cost. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 2. 
 Claribel Rooke. 
 
 Cla. Sinha Rooke, take my Nagge, and see you walk him 
 
 faire and soft to Colchester, here vnknown I will lodge this 
 
 night, and to morrow I will forward on my Jomey. 
 
 Roo. Nay but does your Bark ride here about ? Sir. 
 
 Cla. No, but my meaning was toward the clefts of Harwich, 
 
 where, priuately, I meane hide mee, vntill the tyme my whole 
 
 debts be payd, and by the meane my Creditors all be satisfysde. 
 
 Roo. Haue you allured mee furth to this yfaith ? To hue, with 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 49 
 
 you, among clefts, vntill your whole debts be payd ? To be plat 
 and plaine with you, I meane conspire against you. Sir. 
 
 Cla. Conspire ? as how ? 
 
 Roo. When opportunity shall serue my turne, I will shewe 
 you a cleane paire of legges, and run my way. 
 
 Cla. I so ridde of a gallowes-clapper, my Man. 
 
 Roo. Most adaptly praefigurd mee. 
 
 Cla. But now interrupt mee no more. 
 
 Roo. Well, Sir, Since it will be no better with you, God giue 
 your worship now god night, and hence furth many happy day 
 and long. 
 
 Cla. Prithy leaue thy Fooling, and looke to my Nagge I say. 
 Away I prithy. 
 
 Roo. I goe. 
 
 Cla. Now Claribel, thou art well nie at the place, 
 WTiere seuerd from the crewes of men, thou mayst 
 In rest and quietnes, tell all thy dayes. 
 Not vnlyke those golden Suns of yore. 
 Where neither Ire doth grin, nor Hate doth hisse. 
 Where neither greif doth lurk, nor guile doth wake. 
 Where all the woodes be whist from any murmur, 
 Vnles it be that issewes from the Trees, 
 O Happie they, that know their good, nor will 
 Be led, by worldly vanities, to leaue 
 A golden world for millions of showes, 
 O three tymes happie they, that can liue so, 
 And of that number, to be one, I goe. 
 Yet I doubt to reach these clefts to night, 
 And therefore, in this Lodge, I'll lodge this night. 
 Hoa, who's within ? here. 
 
 H 
 
50 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 3. 
 
 Oliuel Claribel Floradin. 
 
 Ol. What lack you ? young Gentleman. 
 
 Cla. Harbour, faire Forrester, in your Lodge, till morne. 
 
 Ol. Verily, I can harbour you, but it will be but homely for 
 such gentlemen as you be. 
 
 Cla. Be it so yet, So leade but the way in, sweet Forrester. 
 
 Ol. Before you walk in. Sir, one thing I must require, of your 
 worship, needes. 
 
 Cla. What is it ? faire Forrester. 
 
 Ol. That you do keepe you close as you may. 
 
 Cla. Why so ? I pray you. 
 
 Ol, For that I haue so rude a man to my husband, withall 
 so feirce of condition, that if he but find you here, he will goe 
 neare teare you, into thousand thousand peices, for your 
 welcome. 
 
 Cla. Where's the churle now ? 
 
 01. At Towne to buye him gjrowes, and will be here, within 
 one howre. 
 
 Cla. If it be no other, vpon myne own perill be it, Honest 
 Forrester. So leade but the way in, I saye. 
 
 Flo. \within.^ Hoa. 
 
 Ol. Yonder, in the luckles howre, he knocks, Hast you in, 
 good Sir, and hide you. 
 
 Cla. Where, where ? I prithy, where ? 
 
 Ol. Vnder the Table, Behind the Cupborde, the Screene, 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 51 
 
 vnder the Bed^ where you think the safest, But hast you in, 
 I beseech you, Sir. 
 
 Flo. \within.'\ Hoa. 
 
 Ol. What lack you ? Gentleman. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 4. 
 Floradin Oliuel Rafe. 
 
 Flo. Faire Forrester, God saue, how many mile haue I to the 
 campe. I praye. 
 
 Ol As many as there be from hence to Colchester. 
 
 Flo. How many's that ? Say you. 
 
 01. Ten, and shall lyke you. 
 
 Flo. Forrester, I will but eate one sole bitt with you. Then I 
 will, Incontinently, thither, this night. 
 
 01. Such as you find, you shall be welcome to. 
 
 Raf. Beife or Bacon, Pork or Peason, So it be but meate for 
 a Soldier, Forrester. 
 
 01. Better then this you shall haue, A Pastye of a Red 
 Deere. 
 
 Flo. That's meate for a King, Forrester. Rafe, you Sir, goe 
 tye my Nagge to Park corner. And when thou hast so done, 
 come back and take you some one snatch at a venaison Pastye 
 shall be left you. Sir. 
 
 Raf. Some one snatch, I warrant, it will be, you shall leaue 
 mee. For this once I will trye your manners, if you leaue mee 
 any thing, So, if not any thing, neuer shall you serue mee 
 more So. 
 
52 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Flo. Hence, you wagge. 
 
 Latro [within.^ Hoa, Oliuel. 
 
 Ol. My, Husband, my Husband, oh. Good Gentleman, do 
 but shrowd you in some place, I beseech you trewe. For he is a 
 Lyon, I tell you, in his wrath. 
 
 Flo. If he were Twenty Lyons, I would not bouge, for him, 
 one foot, I vowe. 
 
 Ol. I pray be persuaded, for mee you may hurt, yet do your 
 self no good. 
 
 Flo, Well, well, goe to then. Come. 
 
 Latro \withm.'\ OUuel, I saye. 
 
 01. Sir, what needed this sturr ? I hearde you at first. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 5. 
 
 Latr. Be these your manners not ope when I call? Ha. 
 Theeues, Rogues, Runnegates, Villaines. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Here the Two Gentlemen were at Buffets in the dark within^ 
 Latro ranne in vnto them^ then camefurth againe after them, 
 as they slunk furth. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 6. 
 Hare Latro Oliuel. 
 
 Har. Where? And shall lyke your worship. Where? where? 
 Latr. There, Hare, there, down with them, down with them. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 53 
 
 Har. Well sayd, Sir, do thresh them thouroughly into dust, 
 with your Club, your very good worship. Sir. 
 
 The Direction. 
 They scambeld for the Two Gentlemen in the dark without, 
 
 whilst the Gentlemen leaned with their backs against the wall 
 
 quaking and trembling. 
 
 Ol. Praye be quiet, they be two, whom I permitted but lodge, 
 in your howse, vntill to morrow morning. 
 
 Har. Masse, I can not yet groape them. 
 
 Latr. Thou hast brought hither Ruffins to spoile my game, 
 and to cutt my Throate, Ha. 
 
 01. No, Sir. 
 
 Latr. Yea, yea, and yea, Sir. 
 
 01. Before I leade the life to be eury day thus abused by 
 thee, Knaue, I will stick this knife to my hearte, loe. 
 
 Latr. Doe and spare not, doe and spare not. 
 
 01. Oh, the Lord forgiue mee, and recieue my Soule, oh.* •Leaning 
 
 against the 
 
 Latr. And o thou Lord, forgiue mee, too, I beseech thee, wall. 
 Oh. O, dolourous fate, o wicked destinie, oliuel is gone, and 
 Latro is left, here to wayle alone. Hie thee. Sweet Hare, and 
 follow mee thou, to Colchester, Incontinent. 
 
 Har. Your will be done. I will but goe fetch my Capcase, 
 and come to you straite. 
 
 01. Aeternall Lord, o graunt, that this my deuice may luckily 
 sort, by meane of the which, not onely I shall be ridde of my 
 Barbarous Man, but in the counterchange thereof, I shall be 
 lynkt with two honourable Gentlemen in loue ; vnhappie mee 
 that euer I was matcht. 
 
54 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 She spake this leaning her back against the wall, Then Hare 
 camefurth with a long Staff in his hand and a Capcase tyde 
 about his neck, and sayd that the cupplet in the next Scene 
 follomng. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 7. 
 
 Hare Oliuel Floradin Claribel. 
 
 Har. o Master myne. 
 
 That Hwas your crime. 
 To vrge your wife. 
 Thus end Iter life. 
 The Thought whereof 
 Hath causd mee cough 
 Now farewell Lodge, 
 For I must trudge 
 After mp Master to Colchester. 
 
 01, How doe you, Gentlemen. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 She spake this to the two Gentlemen, who stood yet against the 
 wall, in the dark, and spake to both the two of them. 
 
 Flo. The Plague consume him, I was neuer so afferd of Bar- 
 barous villaine in my life. 
 
 C2a. The Pox to boote, I was ready forgoe my skin for feare. 
 
 Ol. Tarry the whiles till that I shall haue but lighted you 
 a Candle, Gentlemen. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 55 
 
 ♦ACT IV SCEN8. .Here she 
 
 enterdwith 
 a Candle 
 OlIUEL FlORADIN ClARIBEL. lighted. 
 
 Ol. Gentlemen, where be you ? 
 
 Flo. Claribel ? my quondam Chamberfellow in Brodegates ? 
 
 What? 
 Cla. What? Floradin? 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Here they consyderd one the other Broade before they Spake, 
 Oliuel holding vp the Candle to them ouer their heds. 
 
 Flo. How hast done since our departures from Oxford? 
 Sirrha. 
 
 Cla. Thou, whither wert thou wandring ? 
 
 Flo. To Colchester, to the Campe, I. 
 
 Cla. What hath compelled thee become a Soldier ? Ha. 
 
 Flo. Mary, a greene had of myne own, and a naughty wife to ' 
 boote. But whither thou ? 
 
 Cla. To the Clefts of Harwich, there closely to hide mee, till 
 that I shall but sufficiently scoured cleane my wiues score all, 
 from off my pate and nolle, Floradin. 
 
 Flo. How ? an Hermite ? Claribel ; Since both haue tasted 
 of one Cup, As I percieue we haue so done, wee will both two 
 nowtast of an other too, and become Soldiers both. Sir, shall 
 it be so? very shortly, betweene the Two armies, there will be 
 old bickering, Claribel. 
 
 Cla. Floradin, agreed, Solamen miseris sic sit habere pares. 
 
56 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Ol. Gentlemen, I do well hope you will not leaue her behind, 
 who hath beene so thriftely hanselld but for the Lodging you ? 
 
 Flo. How lykeyouthe Gentlewoman and her motion ? Claribel. 
 
 Cla. Well. But how to prouide vs Armes and liueries, Hoc 
 opus hie labor est. 
 
 01. Since beginning of the world neuer was lodge yet vnfiir- 
 nished of weapon. In token, Sirs, of which, I can helpe you to 
 two Forrest Liueries, a couple French Keleeuers, with their 
 Basques and to one Partizan too, Faire Bawdrikes and Matches 
 lykwise. 
 
 Cla. Deare Forrester, doe thou but make thee ready, and 
 bring them furth hither to vs Incontinent, Meane while, with 
 my freind, I will exchange a worde or two. 
 
 01. So doe. 
 
 Cla. Now, Floradin, relate to mee, what haue beene thy For- 
 times, faith ; since our abodes, in Oxford, Sirrha. 
 
 Flo. Since there I sawe thee, Claribel, I haue trauelled France 
 and Flanders, Spaine and Denmark, Italy and Scicilie, High 
 Germanic and lowe Germanic, Swedland, Ireland, Frizland, 
 Iseland and Groenland, And now, as thou mayst apprehend 
 mee, I was going toward Colchester become a mercinary Sol- 
 dier there. Claribel, thyne ? 
 
 Cla. Floradin, Since our last breakfast wee made, in oxford, 
 at the Pellican, I haue visited Moldauia and Liuonia, Pamphla- 
 gonia and Silesia, All Barbaria and all Numidia, The East 
 Indyes and the West Indyes, China, Guinie, Florida and Bra- 
 silea. And now after sight of the whole world, I was going, as 
 thou sawest, forsake the whole world, Floradin. 
 
 Flo. See our Boyes come hither pufling and blowing. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 57 
 
 ACT IV SCEN9. 
 RooKE Rape Floradin Claribel. 
 
 Roo. Sirrs, Sirrs, assist vs, wee do beseech yoti both, you 
 worships both. 
 
 Cla. Take thy breath to thee, Sirrha, Speake and declare. 
 
 Roo. Well. Breifly and succinctly a coupple haue robbed vs 
 of your worships Nagges, Moreouer and above, they haue and 
 drye Salted vs and sufficiently Bmn basted vs. 
 
 Flo. To conclude, now wee must assist yow, when our Horse 
 be gone. 
 
 Cla. What manner men were they ? speake you rogue. 
 
 Roo. The one a Bore-belly, Burly-breast, Bore-headed 
 Brown-Berded Bore, with Boistrous, Boimcing, Big, Bottle- 
 headed, Bough-broken Batt on his Back. 
 
 Flo. The other? Quick. 
 • Rttf. A Slender, Sly, Slim, Slip, with China, Cat skin, Crosse- 
 ^yde Knapsack, with Crooky, Clutchie, Copperie, Clunchie, 
 Crotchets, claspt to his Crupper. 
 
 Cla. They have reckoned with both vs two, for our nights dilue. 
 Lodging, verily. Fellow Floradin. 
 
 Flo. Whereas wee were determined haue been horsemen, 
 they haue crossd our determinations and haue Metamorphosed 
 us into footmen. Well. So. But loe the Faire Forrester 
 Cometh forth with armes and Liueries toward vs, Claribel, 
 
58 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 10. 
 Oliuel in mans Attyre Claribel Floradin Rafe Rooke. 
 
 Ol. Gentlemen, now haue with you, loe 
 
 Cla. Certes, Floradin, she would haue prou'd a propper man, 
 
 Roo. To haue led Hoodes Squadron about a Pole, sure. 
 
 Flo. Shall wee make her our Ring-leader ? Claribel. 
 
 Ol. Your wrong-leader, you should haue sayd. Gentlemen. 
 
 Cla. No verily. Therefore, Oliuel, be thou, now, our whing- 
 leader. 
 
 Ol. Then as your Ringleader, I do here inuest you with 
 
 armes and with Liueries all. Dispatch and make you ready all. 
 
 •Here they Flo. With our heartes, Captaine.* Now, as from our onely 
 
 made them --. , , i ^ 
 
 ready. Duke and onely Generall, we do expect your further Iniunc- 
 
 tions and further Commaundments, in the Case, Captaine our. 
 
 01. Listen all. First and Imprimis, if by the way you shall 
 
 meete either Hen, Duck or Goose, you do wring off her neck, 
 
 and do sease her your own without honestie or conscience. 
 
 Item and againe, if you shall come into any mans howse, either 
 
 directly or Indirectly, jointly and seuerally you first lye with the 
 
 Hostesse herselfe, then with the Hostesses daughters, then 
 
 with the Hostesses Maydes without inaequallity or difference. 
 
 Item you shall carry in one of your Pockets, Geneua Psalms, 
 
 in the other Lady Mattens ; If you be taken by Spaniards, you 
 
 shall shewe them your Lady Mattens, If by the English, you 
 
 shall produce them your Geneua Psalmes. Finally and lastly, 
 
 Paye not for what you take, Praye not before you rise, nor be 
 
 you Sober when you lye down, Consequently the rest. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 59 
 
 Raf. Wholesome Iniunctions, of the Diuells own baking, wee 
 do assure you, Captaine. 
 
 Flo. All these will wee perfourme and execute to your per- 
 fect lyking, Captaine, and contentment, wee do verily assure 
 you trewe. 
 
 01. I thank you, my tall Soldiers all. So let vs now for Col- 
 chester all, I do require you all, my trewe Soldiers all. 
 
 Cla. Loe you, a most fine armie and a substantial! one too, 
 Gentlemen all, vieu vs, by my Troth, I do Implore you all. 
 
 Roo. Wanting either us a staff but. 
 
 Raf, Next Hedge will furnish either the Two. 
 
 Roo. Hough, God speede the Plough. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 11. 
 NiM Shift Pigot. 
 
 Nim. Myne Host Pigot, since thou hast attached our Bolle 
 into thy hands as pawn for the Reckoning, Behold, we do now 
 charge thee, thou do keepe it, as thou wouldest keepe thy Soule, 
 Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Gentlemen, by the faith of an honest man, I do here 
 protest vnto you both, I will keepe him sure, nay so, that if 
 according your own Bond, you bring mee not in my money, 
 within one Month and one day. All the Jins and Crotchets in 
 your beds, shall not once be able pick him furth, my Catskin 
 cheast, there. 
 
 Nim. Oh, I thank you, myne Host, Oh I thank you. 
 
 Shift. Hast that consciense, Jewe, detayne our Bolle worth 
 
eO THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 twenty pounds sterling, for some little eciiruie meate and drink 
 not worth forty shillings ? Ha. 
 
 Pig. Old Sawe and trewe Sawe Quis nisi mentis inops ohla- 
 tum respuit aurum ! 
 
 Shift. The Application is false, For thou seest our Bolle is 
 Syluer not Gold, Apuleian. 
 
 Pig. By that the Logicall Jin yclipt Conuersio, I will make 
 him hold, For it shaU conuert the Syluer in your Bolle into 
 Gold in my Pouch, 
 
 Shift. Into Aurum Potabile thou meanst it. 
 
 Pig. That is already done, to both your costs too, Gentlemen, 
 I do assure you true. 
 
 Nim. But if wee shall bring thee thy money, within a month 
 and two dayes, wilt then deUuer vs our Bond ? Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Beshrowe the blood of my vena caua, than. 
 
 Shift. Out on thee. Dog, there is neither equitie nor Reason 
 within thee. 
 
 Pig. Equitie none. Reason some. For put the case. Sirs, 
 you should bring mee my money within one Month and two 
 dayes, so forfaiter mee yoiu: Bond, If I, thereupon should deU- 
 uer you your Bolle, you might so begge mee a Foole, Now to 
 be begd a Foole, in a Parish, where these thirty yeares long 
 I haue beene reputed a knaue, I see neither Reason nor Po- 
 leacy in it. 
 
 Nim. Nay then do thy worst, Pigot ; Pearle shall abate the 
 Edge of thy Reason with the blunt of his Lawe, I do assure 
 thee trewe. 
 
 Pig. If you haue any thing saye to him, loe here he comes. 
 Gentlemen. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 61 
 
 Nim. Myne Host, now I do remember mee — 
 Pig. Then if it be so. Sirs, stand you close I say, And but 
 temper your humaine Properties all now. Come. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 12. 
 Sanders Pearle Periman Wright Nim Shift Pigm)T. 
 
 Sand. So now forward with your Argument, M"^ Pearle. 
 
 Perl. Thus I do inferr that my wife hath no Soule in her. 
 Where there is no hed there is no soule, But in my wife there is 
 no hed, ergo in my wife there is no soule. 
 
 Shift. By way of Argument shalt see him proue his wife to 
 be a she Monster, Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Peace for the Passion of our Lord God of Oasts and 
 let vs heare furth his Argument. 
 
 Peri. Hath your wife neuer a Hed ? M*^ Doctor. I pray you 
 how proue you your Minor ? 
 
 Perl. If my wife had euer a Hed, I should be sayd to be her 
 hed, But ex Repugnantibus, It is Impossible, that my hed should 
 be my wiues Hed, and myne own hed should be myne own hed, 
 Simul, Ergo my wife hath neuer a hed. So by the consequence 
 she hath no Soule. 
 
 Pig. Excellent, by our Lord God of heauen. 
 
 Sand. Sir, by your Patience and leaue. There be three 
 Soules (as the Philosophers do affirme) in man, A Reasonable 
 Soule, ASensitiue Soule, and a Nutritive Soule, whereof your 
 worship, M"^ Doctor Pearle, may very well, in conscience take a 
 coupple to your self, and leaue a Third to your wife. 
 
62 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Peri. How many Soules your wife hath I know not, But for 
 the Sensitiue Soule, I am sure she hath it, she hath tasted the 
 style of your Toung so Thriftely, to day, M"^ Doctor, 
 loe now Perl. I do maintaine it, now against both you two loe, she 
 hath now not any one of three with in her now, so Furth. First 
 for a Reasonable Soule, if that she had reason she would neuer 
 haue lost so worthy a Bolle, Secondly for a Sensitive Soule, she 
 is such a Fixen, that what with fighting, what with biting and 
 what for whining, she wiU be out of her fine sences, at one and 
 same Tyme, I do tell you most trew. Sirs, both. 
 
 Peri, Now for the other, M"^ Doctor. 
 
 Perl. Now for a Nutritiue Soule she hath (For be" it spoken 
 among freinds here) as much good Nurture in her, as has my greate 
 and black Sowe ouer her drafiing Trough So neuer a Soule. 
 
 Peri. Where should these Three Soides, naturally, haue 
 theire co-existence then ? M"" Doctor, I pray. 
 
 Perl. In myne own pate to weet, whence totally do proceed 
 all my wiues vnderstanding, also her sence, as also her good 
 Education to mend her ordinary ouer and aboue. 
 
 Sand. Learnedly. 
 
 Peri. Sir, I wonder at your Erudition. 
 
 Wrigh. Now if your worship woidd but giue mee your leaue, 
 to come vpon you, myself, who am (as Chaucer verie adaptly 
 hath applied it) a lewde man. Put the case, that these the three 
 Soules (as you sayd) consisted, solely, in your worships pate. 
 Albeit your wife had neuer a bed peice, yet she might very 
 well haue had two SoiJes in her body, nempe, vnder her two 
 feet. Ergo. 
 
 Perl. I prithy. Fellow, be quiet and shewe not thy Elittera- 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 63 
 
 ture, For by same reason she might haue had one half dozen 
 more besyde in her kitchin, that now be prouiding for my 
 dinner. 
 
 Sand. And loe, where she comes, vpon her two other Soules, 
 vnder layd with a coupple other soules, Pert as a Pie. 
 
 Peri. Sir, speake mildly to her, I do earnestly beseech you, 
 Sir. 
 
 Perl. Woman, hearst thou mee? if thou bringest not my 
 Bolle along with thee. Come not within seauen Pearch of mee, 
 I do admonish thee. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 13. 
 
 ♦Christian Perle Sanders Periman Wright Nim Shift •in her 
 
 ■r. best trown. 
 
 PiGOT. 
 
 Christ. Then boldly may I come, clip my Lord and Loue, 
 for his Bolle is found. 
 
 Perl. Found ? that's anown Duck yfaith. How ? saye. 
 
 Christ. It was but a deuice of M"^ Sanders to put your wor- 
 ship in a chafe. 
 
 Perl. Wast you, M' Sanders, that stole my Bolle ? 
 
 Sand. Not I, as I shall be sau'd. Sir. 
 
 Shift. From off the Gallowes. 
 
 Sand. Alway, I haue beene held a trewe man, not a Theife. 
 
 Christ. W Sanders, neuer denie it now. Did not you your 
 own self send for the Hare ? Saying you would dine with him 
 at home, And there you would laugh a good at the Jeast. 
 
 Sand. Not I, as I shall be sau'd M' Doctor. 
 
64 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Perl. Therefore hast put on thy holiday gown, now come 
 dine with vs ? Ha. 
 
 Christ. Why, I. 
 
 Perl. Woolf, Hore, Hare, Bitch, Polecate, Carrian, Kite, 
 Mare. 
 
 Wrigh. I require your worship, before you enter into further 
 choller, you would but paye mee that money, you owe mee now, 
 I might be gone. 
 
 Perl. Thou mayst be gone. For I owe thee no money now. 
 
 Wrigh. None? Sir. 
 
 Perl. None. 
 
 Wrigh. Speake once more, I beseech you, do you owe mee 
 no money ? indeed la. 
 
 Perl. None, none, none, none, none, I say. 
 
 Wrigh. If there be any lawe in Colchester, I will make you 
 say I, before I haue done with you, till when, I leaue you, loe. 
 
 Perl. Cup and venaison gone? O Maria Neptune. 
 
 Christ. M*^ Sanders, do but keepe him from off mee, I do 
 beseech you trewe. 
 
 Sand. M" Doctor, conteyne you, I beseech you. 
 
 Perl. Now I can no longer hold, therefore I am not to be 
 holden. 
 
 Christ. Helpe, Gentlemen, helpe, he will butcher mee, I 
 auGwe. 
 
 Perl. Nay nay, crye and spare not, crye and spare not. 
 
 Peri. Follow, M' Sanders, follow, he will teare the woman to 
 peices, loe. 
 
 Perl. 1 1, Scratch you were best. 
 
 Christ. My God, toy god, my god. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 65 
 
 Perl. Hore, Hore, Hore, Hore, Hore. 
 
 Both. Good M' Doctor, good M"" Doctor, good M' Doctor. 
 
 Perl. Get in, Baggage, get in, get in, I say. 
 
 Shift. Follow, Sirs, wee loose not the whole sport, before they 
 be got in at doore. 
 
 Pig. Well sayd, Gentlemen, while you two goe before, I will 
 run in, hallowe and raise the streete. 
 
 Nim. Most excellent, I assure you. 
 
 Shift. As I haue seene. 
 
 Nim. Hast you. 
 
 Pig. And you. 
 
 Here they knockt up the Consort. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 1. 
 
 Aruania Doucebella hand in hand, Their men and maydes 
 attending them. 
 
 Dou. Trust mee, Madame, the Sad Tale of your Fortune, 
 With Admiration hath struck mee dumbe. 
 And were it not, wee be so nie to Town, 
 In recompense I could repeate you myne. 
 That be not farr inferior in woe. 
 But tell mee, Madame, what's the sheild you beare ? 
 Against th'Iniuries of so vyle a Man ? 
 
 Aru. Carelesnesse secure, to which adioines him 
 A mind most patient in these extreames. 
 
 Dou. I will shewe you a better, sweet Lady, 
 
 Aru. What ? saye. 
 
 K 
 
66 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Dou. When Tyme conuenient and place permitteth you, 
 Fully you would serue him the lyke measure. 
 
 Aru. I beleeue you certes, And since that I 
 May not recall him, meane to practise with it. 
 But loe, Madame, wee be at Colchester. 
 
 Dou. But who is he ? cometh from the Tarlton ? 
 
 Aru. A stranger, lyke our selues, he seemes to be. 
 
 Dou. A propper man, I do assure you firmely. 
 
 Aru. True beleeue mee, withall well fauourd. 
 
 Dou. He seemeth to be Master of this Inne. 
 
 Aru. Rather to be a man of Mars his kin. 
 
 Dou. A taller Man, I ne're beheld, assure you. 
 
 Aru. A better set I know not where to shew you. 
 
 Dou. See you not what brawnes and boanes he heth ? 
 
 Aru. He by the shoulders, all I'haue scene, oreperth. 
 
 Dou. Of such goodly joints nere' King Saule hath beene. 
 
 Aru. Such well compacted limbes I ner'e haue scene. 
 
 Dou. Alcides might be deemd a dwarfe to him. 
 
 Aru, From Hed to Soale in eury part and limbe. 
 
 Dou. I wUl salute him now, God saue you, Sir. 
 
 Aru. The lyke salutation, to you, say wee. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 2. 
 
 Latro Doucebella Aruania. 
 
 Lair. Faire Ladyes, and you. If I may demaund 
 whither be you trauelling thus vntimely? 
 
 Dou. Toward London, And for wee playd the Sluggs, 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS; 67 
 
 This morne, before we parted from our Inne, 
 wee could not but reach Colchester this night. 
 
 Latr. Trewly, Ladyes, I am sorie for you, 
 For what for Soldiers, what for Passengers, 
 You'll not be lodgd this night, one bed I haue. 
 Which shall be yours, for know you honourd Ladyes, 
 Till fewe stormes be blown, that haue, this night. 
 Beset the pricking closure of my conscience, 
 I closely do abide in Colchester. 
 
 Aru. What storme, I pray you, or why do you weepe ? 
 
 Latr. A case that happend mee, not hence one howre, 
 wrings floods of brinish Oceans from myne eyes. 
 
 Dou. Sir, relate your greifs, for not to any 
 you may repeate them, in greifs, be nearer. 
 
 Latr. Renewe not, of my woes, the memory, 
 Mee may you hurt, but do your selues no glee. gree. *il"e. 
 
 Aru. Oh no, our eares, to heare of woe, take pleasure. 
 Whose woes all woes, exceed in greatest measure. 
 
 Latr. If you will faithfully promise mee both 
 To tell mee yours, 111 tell you myne. {Both) wee doe. 
 
 Latr. Faithfully myne, I do assure you both. 
 
 Both. Ours, in lyke sort, wee do assure you too 
 
 Latr. Then if so you accept of it, deare Ladyes, 
 Firstly I will bestowe the supper on you. 
 That done, accordingly, wee will repeate. 
 By mutuall turne each others Fortune. {Aru.) So Sir. 
 
 {Latr.) All thanks, faire Ladyes, for your kind acceptance. 
 And first I'll be your guide into your Inne, 
 
 Dou. And weele attend you both. 
 
68 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 ACT V SCEN 3. 
 
 PiGOT NiM Shift like Two Serieants. 
 
 Pig. Come, Gentlemen, come, muster-your selues. And as he 
 comes, this way anone, toward his ordinary, see you arrest him 
 sure, in Wright the Goldsmith's name, I haue a madde deuice 
 in him, Gentlemen, as you shall well vnderstand, in tyme to 
 come both ; Three Kniues do make vp the Sheath of a Tim- 
 bridge dagger, they say. Come 
 
 Nim. Captum puta, myne host. 
 
 Pig. I had rather you had said Captum suram, myne Host. 
 But now embattle your selues, And Sirs (heare you mee both) 
 If he will not yeild him to you willingly, see you pull him down 
 by the collar. 
 
 Nim. So and shall lyke you. But prithy, what Gentlewomen 
 were those lighted, at thyne Inne, to night ? Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Procul dubio, I kenne them not. 
 
 Nim. But wherefore do they talk, so suspitiously, with the 
 Keeper, by the Fyre-syde ? Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Quod supra nos nihil ad noSt What is aboue my nose is 
 not on my nose, Verily I sent it not. 
 
 Shift. Yet were it good, thou lookst into it least, thou pur- 
 chase to thy self, the neuer-to-be-chewen name of a Bawde, 
 Pigot. 
 dilne Pig, Bawde ! Loe, I doe euen belch him. None dare be so 
 bold commit lyke Pollution in my howse. The Tarlton of 
 goodman Pigot of Colchester, is an Academie of manners. 
 Gentlemen. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 69 
 
 Shift. So will it appeare, by thy deuice, anone. 
 
 Pig. Vide licet. But behold him comming, I will leaue this 
 now to both your AgiUties, The rest to myne own vnderstand- 
 ing thereupon. 
 
 Shift. So and shall lyke you, myne Host Pigot. 
 
 Nim. Sirrha Shift, how shall wee two, with the best cunning 
 wee haue, shift vs about him now ? 
 
 Shift. Breifly thus, whilst he is in highth of his Meridian, 
 otherwise as he is gaping take Ruts, shall first ciuminglye, tack 
 about him, and take him by the Polle, whilst I then run before 
 him, take the full winde of him and stop his mouth. 
 
 Nim. Excellent good. And loe thus I shift me about him, 
 Shift. 
 
 Shift. And thus, loe, I oppose him, Nim. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 4. 
 
 *Pearle Nim Shift. •With a 
 
 Lynk before 
 
 Perl. Hold vp thy Lynk, Knaue, hold vp thy Lynk I say, I 
 may obserue the state of the welking. Rayne or no Rayne ? 
 Ha. 
 
 Nim. Rayne, Sir, withall wee arrest you, Sir. 
 
 Perl. Hold, Knaues, hold, I am Doctor Pearle, Knaues, hold. 
 
 Nim. Then, Doctor Pearle, by name, I arrest you in Wright 
 the Goldsmiths name, Loe and see wee do entreate you both. 
 
 Perl. "Why so ? I beseech you, vph. 
 
 Nim. Why, Sir, for a standing Bolle, you haue not yet payd 
 him for. 
 
 Perl. Helpe. 
 
 him. 
 
70 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Shift. Thou shalt along with vs, in spite of that throate of 
 thyne, I do sweare by Joue. 
 
 Perl. Helpe, neybours, helpe. 
 
 Nim. Down with him, down with him. And if he but mutter, 
 giue him a cuff on the Mouth, Shift. 
 
 Shift. Peace, Peace, your Rogue, els will wee make this thy 
 Hed a wind Ball, to our fistes, straite. 
 
 Perl. I haue done. Gentlemen, I haue done, see. Helpe, 
 neybours, helpe, For the passion of our Lord God of Oasts, 
 Helpe. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 5. 
 PiGOT Pearle Nim Shift. 
 
 Pig. What a Rutt haue wee here ? and at my doore ? Who's 
 he calls for helpe ? Ha. 
 
 Nim. An obstinate fellow will not obey the Queenes arrest. 
 Sir, see. 
 
 Pig. M"^ Pearle ! I had rather you had giuen mee a whole 
 But of your sherrie Sack, then I should haue taken you in this 
 dilue. taking. What's then the matter ? Masters, saye 
 
 Shift. A Goldsmith made him a standing BoUe, And now he 
 will neither paye him his money for it, nor yet wil obeye the 
 arrest of the Queene, See. 
 
 Perl. I neuer receiued any. And do you think I wiD paye 
 for that I neuer tooke ? 
 
 Pig. Nor for that thou takest. Sirs, let mee see, if it may 
 so be, I take vp this matter betweene you now. Honest Fel- 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 71 
 
 lowes, will each of you take an Angell apeice ? So dismisse his dilue 
 -ship? Saye. 
 
 Shift. Doe you take vs be such varlets, wee will infringe the 
 queenes Iniunctions for twenty shillings ? you shall crack the 
 Costards of our credits so, I assure you. 
 
 Pig. Gentlemen, yet be it so. 
 
 Nim. By no meane. And therefore, once more, wee arrest 
 him, loe. 
 
 Pig. Staye. Will each of you take a brace of Angells then dUue. 
 apeice, and be gone. 
 
 Nim. Not a million shall redeeme liim. Wherefore, once 
 more, in Gods blessing and in the Queenes wee charge him - 
 obeye and goe along with vs. 
 
 Pig. M"^ Doctor, will you suffer you to ^e tawed lyke a Beare 
 thus but for a brace or two of Angells ? Si-, let mee rule you, I 
 beseech you now. 
 
 Perl. Pigot, let them but laye, one finger, on mee, if they 
 dare. 
 
 Pig. Remember, Sir, you be in debt, and if once you be clapt 
 vp, you be but a deade dawe, you know. 
 
 Perl. Good cheape, as thou mayst, myne Host, yet. 
 
 Pig. Let mee alone with them. Gentlemen, yet once more 
 let mee, in priuate, talk with you, yfaith. 
 
 Nim. Saye your mind. But it will be to no purpose, wee 
 assure you. 
 
 Perl. Now, whilst I haue the leisure and opportunity, I will 
 propound, to you, fearefuU vision, I had this last night in my 
 sleepe. For so I shall passe away, the better, the apprehension 
 qf this crosse hath befahi mee. Mee thought, toward dawning 
 
72 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 of the day, when dreames proceede furth the gate of Mome, 
 As I was pacing on agreene, I was suddenly Metamorphosed into 
 a golden Gander, And mee thought whilst I was playing (As 
 the Manner of my fellow Geese is) the Astrologer, Two Diuells, 
 in lykenesse of two weasels came to carry mee to Hell, accusing 
 mee, not onely I had pryed too neare into Gods Priuitye, But 
 that also I had eaten a whole Bushell of aates, I had not, as yet 
 payd him for. Now whilst thus they were both towing mee to 
 the ghastly gates of Dis, Mee thought there came to mee a dog 
 (As should be myne Host there) and offered each of them (If so 
 they would but let mee goe) a golden feather of my whing, to 
 carrye, as a Peace oflfring, to Proserpina, for her Maiesties law- 
 full favour herein, so that much coyle and Do there was about 
 it, before they could come to any Agreement ; Finally, whilst 
 they were but, as yet, debating the matter, with the noise they 
 made all about mee, I awoke. And how it will yet proue I knowe 
 not. 
 
 ■ Nim. For a forty shillings wee will be willing dismisse his 
 worship 
 
 Pig. M*" Doctor, A Brace of Angells from you, and tis a 
 bargaine. 
 
 Perl. Too much it is, on my Conscience, M"^ Pigot. 
 
 Pig* Too Uttle it is, on my honestye, M"^ Doctor. 
 
 Perl. But will they let mee goe, think you, on the receipt of 
 them? 
 
 Pig. If your worship will not credit them, you may depose 
 them, both, in my hands, for your better security. 
 
 Perl. Be it so. Doe you heare, Fellowes, conditionally you 
 molest mee not more, Loe you, a Two brace of Angells deposed, in 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 73 
 
 myne Hosts hands, for your gentle Permissions in the case. So 
 be you both packing, I pray. 
 
 Shift. God saue your worships hfe, M"^ Doctor. 
 
 Pig. Sir, but will you not bestowe, on them, the wyne, before 
 they part also. 
 
 Per. Shall I giue wyne to knaues for abusing mee, It will 
 not be for my worship, Pigot. 
 
 Pig. On my saluation, they haue but dealt vprightly with your 
 worship, therefore be it so, I pray you. 
 
 Perl. Fellowes, on request of this honest man here, I haue a 
 certaine Quart to bestowe on you besyde. So God speede you 
 both. 
 
 Nim. Why, wee do thank your good worship for it. 
 
 Pig. These forty shillings* I will reserue them, here loe, For • A Snap- 
 that that they do owe me now, And that is that the madde de- his Pouch 
 uice. Gentlemen, I told you of whyleare, I do assure you verily, 
 So the Lord God of heauen blesse them both two now, I do 
 beseech the Almighty Lord. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 6. 
 
 JoiCE Janekin. 
 
 Joi. Janekin, whilst our two sweet Gentlewomen sit telling 
 tales, with the Gentleman, by the Fyresyde, what shall wee two 
 too chat on, to driue away drowsinesse ? Saye. 
 
 Jan. Mary, I well tell thee a dreame I had, as I sat nodding, 
 in the chimney corner, by them, sweet Joice. 
 
 Joi. Come on, by my Troth, And I will tell thee a dreame, I 
 had lykewise, as I satt slumbring, on a Three-foote, by, Janekin. 
 
74 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Jan. Though I neuer read Artemidorus of dreames, Joice, 
 ^"^ yet I may, chaunce, shewe thee a shrewd meaning of thy 
 
 dreame, yet I tree. 
 
 Jot. And I, in good sadnes loe, For I haue haunted a wise 
 
 woman of our Parish in Maldon, hath taught mee the spell of 
 
 •Here eury each of them by my Troth. But begin thyne, I prithy.* 
 
 botti down Jan. Mee thought, as I slept, I sawe two Currs tugging a 
 
 Fourme?"^ Beare, contrary way, about two morsells of flesh he had taken 
 
 from them by force. And mee thought, whiles the Butchers 
 
 came about them and stau'd them asunder. The Dogs tore, 
 
 from of the Beare, a certaine putidulous and ill fauour'd De- 
 
 pendance stuck close to his Cods, which the Butchers, that 
 
 stinted the Fraye, threwe back into the Mouth of the Beare 
 
 himself, then restored, to either their Curr, either their morsell. 
 
 So that with the noise they made all about it, I awoke. 
 
 Joi, I coniecture by the Premises, Janekin, Some Knights of 
 the Assassines, or other, shall be bereft of some their two 
 boimcing Bellabowns, by some base Intruder, and they, in the 
 end, with much adoe, shall receiue their own from him, and 
 throwe the Intruder his own self Propertie, pluckt from him, 
 into his face, for liis labour. 
 
 Jan. Nay, myne honest Joice, nay. I suppose rather, they 
 shall retort him, and it with reproch, some priuie Income, they 
 had hold from him, for some priuie Tenauncies, he holds lyk- 
 wise from them by force Tyranicall, and the which priuie In- 
 come he, with two other Incomes againe, from himself, shall 
 requite them back, with schorne, by their two Attorneys, and 
 with the Rent doubled in them, to both their faces, I suppose. 
 Now thyne, I beseech thee, Joice. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. ' 75 
 
 Joi. Mee thought, as I slept, I sawe a sturdy Begger, that had 
 Purchased a brace of Puddings to himself, And that there 
 come, vpon him, a coupple of Carters, to take them from him, 
 who either of them, giuing him the double Twyne or Twist of 
 the whip, ouer his shoulders, for his labour, tooke the Puddings 
 from him, so stinted him of his Puddings, so as, with the lowd 
 double yerk, he made after them againe, with the same double 
 whip, to take to them again their Puddings, with a Pox, I 
 awoke. 
 
 Jan. By the Two Puddings, I make my coniecture this beg- 
 gerly base Rascall had stoln two their Cart Jades, and that he. 
 Albeit they had purchased him the double Twyne or Twist, 
 ouer both shoulders, for his labour, yet he, with a crack of the 
 Rope, into two seuerall lists or Twists, gaue them back their 
 own, and so departed. 
 
 Joi. Nay, Janekin, nay, I will I will shewe thee a better In- 
 terpretation, then so, sure. As the wise woman told me. Pud- 
 dings signifie stuffings, And he had stoln some certaine paire of 
 breeches from some other. And that those other had rewarded 
 him, with the double Twyne or Twist, ouer both shoulders, for 
 his labour^ And which he, in disdaine thereof, retort them back 
 with same double whip, and with a double seame rent in their 
 Breeches to boote. 
 
 Jan. Joice, well brought about, Joice, by my Troth. For as 
 the world now goes, there be many Hookers abroade, sewe for 
 other mens clothes, by lower chamber windowes, And when the 
 other should purchase them home, they shall find them both 
 torne and seame rent at the Broakers, without either baile or 
 Mainprise. 
 
76 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 . Joi. How say you to that the double Twyne or Twist, they 
 gaue him, ouer both shoulders, for his paines ? yet. 
 
 Jan. A double Twyne or Twist signifies a Counterbreech- 
 ing. Now if shall gaine a Counterbreeching by his breeching 
 other, he shall weare the double Breeches himself, thence furth. 
 And which will be a Signe, he shall not be breeched more, But 
 shall haue the superiority, ouer his own flesh and ouer his owne 
 boane, euer after, and in tyme to come, therefore. 
 
 Joi. Well brought about thou too, by my Maydenhead, Janekin. 
 
 Jan. Nay I haue read verse for verse, and spell for spell, 
 
 with you, for a groate, I warrant, Joice. But now let vs both 
 
 in, For it is bed tyme, I troe, and our sweet Mistrisses may, 
 
 chaunce, now call to bed. 
 
 Joi, By St. Jillian, well rememberd, yfecks. For wee haue 
 yet the beds to make, and with my hearte, I wish my Mistrisses 
 boanes may Molliter cubent, Janekin myne. 
 
 Jan. If thy Mistris desires softer couching then my Mistris 
 does, Joice, I wiD giue thee the better syde of the bed, this 
 night vpon the forfaite. 
 
 Joi. Then, come away, for we have hast, I feare 
 ,, Jan, And come away, you. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 7. 
 
 Oliuel Claribel Floradin Rape Rooke. 
 
 Ol. Gallants you lyke this millitary life ? Saye. 
 Cla. Better it is, to be hangd abroade, then at his own doore 
 at home. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 77 
 
 Roo. Dulce helium inexpertiSf First get you broken pates, 
 then tell vs how you lyke it 
 
 Flo. How lykst thou it ? Rafe. 
 
 Raf. Wy, better then Meath or Metheglin, I. 
 
 01. Now no more, But all lyke Martialls of the Campe 
 (while the campe lyeth aloofe) search wee all and each seuerall 
 howse in Colchester Subburbs, giuing them, there, an expresse 
 comaundment, eury thing be in readines against the Fight, and 
 to hang furth their Lights all. So first begin wee with the 
 Tarlton. 
 
 Cla. Agreed, Captaine our, agreed, So come on, come on, 
 Sirs, yfaith, come. 
 
 Ol. Follow mee, All you. Meanewhile you Two, take you 
 here their two guns, and waite you two here our Two Sentinells 
 both. Follow, I bid you, come. 
 
 Both. Wee doe, Captaine, wee doe. ' 
 
 Raf. Rooke, while they search the howse within doore, what 
 shall wee two search, without doore, to keepe vs from Idlenes? 
 saye. 
 
 Roo. I think it best searching, wee fall not into dike both. 
 
 Raf. The forecast is good, Mary, yet I will teach thee a 
 better exercise then that sure. 
 
 Roo. What? yfaith. 
 
 Raf. Lets sling an Hunts up to the Batts, Rooke. 
 
 Roo. Zounds, slaye wee the men, not the Mice, Rafe. 
 
 Raf. As how ? say. 
 
 Roo. Lets rifle a Man of his cloake, Sirrha* 
 
 Raf. In good sadnes let vs. For the weather is cold by 
 St. Anne. 
 
78 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 . Itoo. But let vs doe it with a most manly, and a right Hercu- 
 lean strength, Rafe. 
 
 Rafe. Content, Man. and therefore, tiU any come, Lets haue 
 a song now, thereby to strengenth vs both two, our two Bulks, 
 the better. 
 
 JRoo. Come on, yfaith. Saye and be hangd. 
 
 The Fifth Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 Hercules, Hercules along, 
 
 Helpe our Cart, from furth the myre, 
 
 With,eamest vowe and hearte among. 
 Hand to wheele, wee thee require, 
 
 2. 
 The Jades, stick fast, toe, in the slough. 
 
 The Cart-Roapes be all to burst, 
 Giue them but thou one lusty hough 
 
 Strait they will be, as at first, 
 
 s. 
 
 Hey gee. All Carters draw amayne. 
 With the whip, with the Goude too. 
 
 Ho, hnaues, ho, let agone the Reyne, 
 So shall we get no good now, 
 
 4. 
 See, now she comes off, in a Trice, 
 
 The Good Lord be blest therefore, 
 To Hercules, all lawde and Prize 
 
 Be allowed euermore. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 79 
 
 Roo. I heare a noise within, would all were well within doore, 
 I beseech the Lord God of Oustes, Sirrha. 
 Raf. And I, in good Sadnes, loe. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 8. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Floradin, Claribel, Oliuel, Latro, Pearle, Pigot made a 
 maruellous Rutt at their commings furth, The Rest followed 
 easily after them and stealingly, so as the whole Scene was 
 insensibly and suddenly brought about in Catastrophe of the 
 Comoedy, And the whole face of the Scene suddenly alterd. 
 
 Floradin Claribel Oliuel Latro Aruania Doucebella 
 Pearle Pigot Rape Rooke Nim Shift Wright with their 
 two waiting women also. 
 
 Flo. Cla. 01. Furth you damned villaine, furth you Forni- 
 cator, furth I say. 
 
 Pig. Gentlemen, be mercifull to my ghests, Oh. Laye furth 
 your Talent, M' Doctor, I beseech you, oh. 
 
 Perl. Doe but shewe you haue the right vse of Reason, in 
 you, my Masters, Hoa. 
 
 Latr. Gentlemen, quiet your selues, For what's the wrong, I 
 haue done you ? saye. 
 
 Flo. Must thou be in bed, knaue, with my wife ? in a pox. 
 
 Latr. Did I know her to be thy wife ? Thus much I assure 
 you, Gentlemen, where is she Troe ? There stands the Cap- 
 taine. But how honest she be, I leaue that to her self to shewe. 
 
80 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Cla. Is that thy wife ? Floradin. I say he was in same bed 
 with my wife. And the other woman was my Sweetheart in 
 Harwich. 
 
 Flo. Claribel, I say, he was in same bed, with my wife, And 
 the other woman was my whoore in Maldon. 
 
 Ol. Latro, in good faith, was I such coarse Curst in your 
 Mouth you must be tasting ginger-breade now ? 
 
 Perl. An Accident worthy the chronicling verily. 
 
 Pig. As hath been siace Duke William tript, on shore, I 
 * See weene.* 
 
 Stowes 
 
 Annales. Cla. I tell thee, Floradin, thou hast wronged mee. 
 
 Flo. Claribel, I say, thou hast wronged mee. 
 
 Ol. I say Latro hath playd the knaue with Three. 
 
 Raf. Jumpe, what a coyle haue wee here ? quoth our Host. 
 
 Roo. Rafe, I haue beene at many Kitchin Saunce in my dayes, 
 yet I neuer hearde lyke as this is. 
 
 Cla. By heauen I will be reuengd. 
 
 Flo. I, by Joue. 
 
 Ol. Latro, thou shalt haue martiall lawe without Indighting, 
 straite. (Latr.) Ohuel, be quiet I tell you trewe. 
 
 Pig. Gentlemen, let me, if so be, by wit, I may take vp this 
 matter, betweene you three now ? 
 
 01. No neede. Sir, it is the custome such as you be euer 
 speake for your customers. 
 
 Pig. Then let them be tryen by the Doctor, and be thou 
 dambd. I tell thee, woman, thou abusest mee. I haue beene 
 vmpire of forty causes in my dayes, broken pates, slasht faces, 
 and bloody noses, yet was I neuer so denyde of thing in all 
 those daies. Goe thy way for I am mouu'd. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 81 
 
 s 
 
 Roo. See how he strouteth.* •stood on 
 
 his feete 
 
 Perl. Gentlemen, shall I enucleate this your kernell for you ? and 
 
 strouted. 
 
 saye c 
 
 Latr. Rather, M' Doctor, by next that come. 
 
 Perl. At your own good pleasures be it. yet such a stinging 
 Apologie I will haue for you, shall strike through a cap of 
 proofe, y faith. 
 
 Latr. So, Sir. 
 
 Flo. Aruania, I little looked for this prank at thy hand, when 
 first I plighted and pledged thee my Troth, a Begger. 
 
 Aru. Haue pitie yet. 
 
 Cla. You, Doucebella, will be raunging, I do perceiue well, 
 when none but Raungers walk about your Bush. 
 
 Dou. Yet Pardon mee. 
 
 Latr. You oliuel, will be turning Tayle, I perceiue too. 
 
 Ol. I confesse it. 
 
 Raf. By Geometricall Proportion, then it is Jumpe euen, he 
 should haue layne betweene your two wiues. Sirs, As that his 
 wife should haue layne betweene, of your two wiues, the 
 husbands. 
 
 Pig. An euill Parallel by the roode. But Heark, I heare the 
 Trampling of Horse, some be come, I hope, end the controuersye 
 wee be about. 
 
 Flo. Stand wee asyde all. 
 
 Shift. And wee, let vs waite in this hole, and obserue when 
 Pigot will haue the honesty deliuer vs our BoUe, since he is, 
 wholely, satisfy de for the money, wee owe him, now. 
 
 Nim. Come on, yfaith. 
 
82 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 frprnar- *ACTV SCEN9. 
 
 wich. Lacy 
 
 from Mai- DeNHAM LaCY PeARLE PiGOT NiM ShIFT, FlORADIN ClARIBEL 
 don. ' 
 
 RooKE Rape Latro Doucebella Aruania Oliuel Wright. 
 
 Denh. Captaine Lacy, whither away ? 
 
 Lac. Denham, to the Campe, with my Companie. 
 
 Denh. I am commaunded to signifie thus much to you, that 
 your paines be voyd, and that the Spaniards be fled all, and 
 that the Armie is retumd. 
 
 Lac. Retumd ? As how ? 
 
 Denh. Lend but an eare, Sir, I will relate it all vnto you. 
 
 La^. Saye thy mind. 
 
 Denh. Scarce were the Foes within the ken of Land, 
 Or that they could deceme that spacious Baye, 
 That is encompast by the shoare of Plimouth, 
 When Francys Drake, Lord Seymoiu* and the rest. 
 All drest in shining Instruments of warr. 
 Set forward with their Fleet, The which no sooner 
 Was in shot of Culuer, and that they could 
 Haue reached other with their Muskitters. 
 But straite wee summond the Foe to a fight. 
 To get the first aduantage of the daye. 
 The second hope of them that meane to speede. 
 Straite nought was hearde but Drums and whistells, 
 Soimding of Fifes, lowd thimdering of the guns. 
 Clashing of Armours, broken ribbes of ships. 
 Yards, Masts, Hatches, Decks and Cryes of men 
 Inuoking lowd the dreaded name of Joue. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 83 
 
 Then was the Airre choakt in with clang of Trumpe, 
 
 With darknes, Horror, and obscuritye, 
 
 With thunder, Tempest, Terror and Roaring, 
 
 You would haue deemed Graund Lucifer then 
 
 Was boyling a breakfast for the damned Ghosts, 
 
 For had you scene the flight of sundry shot. 
 
 Cannons, Keleeuers, and swift Petronells, 
 
 Culuerins Muskitts, Sakers, Baselykes, 
 
 Harnisht with pikes of fyre and Steele, you would 
 
 Haue tearmed them as many PoUes of Feinds 
 
 Ready, with hookes, to hale the Misers on 
 
 Vnto the slaughter howse of Dis, Besyde 
 
 Neptune, sole ruler of those raging Seas, 
 
 Mou'd with Indignation, gainst the men. 
 
 Raised, with forked Ma9e, the storming waues 
 
 To ayde his Angrie Brother. But what ? No force, 
 
 So violent, may lastingly endure, 
 
 Much as their Men, no sooner, with their Moones, 
 
 Had hemd vs Aduersaryes, But straite 
 
 The Foemen did make all the meanes they could 
 
 Yet with large effusion of their bloods, 
 
 To cheate our Ranks, which when with prosprous euent. 
 
 They had but once atchiud. Sir Francys Drake, 
 
 A Mirrhor of that day, incenst with rage, 
 
 Summoned vs ships to cast about, Eftsoones 
 
 All made amayne with Bonnets and with Drablers, 
 
 With the Fore-sayles, Their Toppings, and their Sprets, 
 
 And to eury one their Top-sayld Gallants, 
 
 Pursewing, in same Plight, them th' Isle about 
 
84 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Till Charles Howard Admirall of the Fleet, 
 Now seeing they had stoln to an Anchor, 
 He directed eight vessells Butt their stemes, 
 (That rode together, loose, as Roade gaue leaue) 
 Armd with Fp'e and Towe, which, in twink of eye, 
 Seuerd and dispersd them Man and ship, 
 Lyke scatterd chafF before the chafed wind. 
 Who, by Fyre and Sword, the pursewd by vs. 
 With clamours, Thundrings, and clang of Trumpets, 
 Now, lyke miserable, poore, tattard wretches. 
 Doe lye, all keaking, on the shoares of Nations, 
 With gaping Mouths and wounds full ghastly wide, 
 To the wonder of the whole world about. 
 And of which Fact Fcemina facti, she is 
 And which I came hither to tell you it. 
 
 Lacy. Grammercy, Captaine, for thy newes. But saye. How 
 many haue wee lost of ours ? 
 
 Denh. Onely one hundreth men, and one Bark of Cocks his. 
 
 Luc. Very verily. Sir, the Lord hath fought the Battle on 
 our syde, AD thanks therefore and praise be to his holy name. 
 But now let vs in to the Tarlton, For what with Marching, what 
 with the dust hath beene raised in our March, I am drye as a 
 curst, Captaine Denham. 
 
 Denh. Lacy, attend hither, I prithy. 
 
 Perl. M' Captaines, wee do beseech your worships both, you 
 would but vouchsafe vs your worships eares both, Sedibus heec 
 imis, Res est non parua locetis. 
 
 Lac. Hath the company any thing say to vs ? 
 
 Perl. They haue. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 85 
 
 Lac. And require our decisions of it ? 
 
 Perl. They doe. 
 
 Lac. Say on, Come.* Captaines 
 
 Perl. Two Neybours, dwelling on the Hills of Essex, had Two pourmes 
 ewes, the fairest were in the country beyde, Twise came they to °* " 
 the Paile a day, Two Twynnes noursd they to boote. Now, Sirs, 
 so it fell upon a daye these Two Ewes went astraye. The one 
 Ewe to the one Neyghbour, The other Ewe to the other Neygh- 
 bour. They Uttle suspecting to whom they belonged. First 
 mylkt them, after sent them to prosecute their homes. The 
 owners finding the Ewes to haue been mylkt by other then by 
 their selues, cast them off also. But within fewe dayes after, 
 seeing they were not able to liue without nourishment, both 
 layd their Heds together, and stole a Third man's goate, withall 
 shared equally her mylk betweene them. He missing his good 
 goate took vp these strayd Ewes, and being not able, lykwise, 
 to liue without sustenance, kept them and mylkt them. Indiffer- 
 ently, by turnes. To be breife, in Processe of Tyme, These the 
 Three driuing, one day, their Beastes to London, mett all, as 
 mought be here, at the Tarlton in Colchester, where each being 
 discouerd by each. They empeached the one the other of Theft, 
 Et adhuc sub Judice lis est. And therefore, M^ Captaines, wee 
 do desire your worships seuerall verdicts, upon the case, now 
 both. 
 
 Lac. I think it meete, each tooke his own and departed. 
 Denh. I, they feede their Beastes, as Plentifully, and in the 
 same measure they did before. 
 
 Pig. Our case Just as a Paire of sheeres. 
 
 Lac. Gentlemen, does this Tale concerne any you ? 
 
86 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Raf. Sirs, neuer now be abasht for the matter, But take 
 hands, and saye wee Three but. 
 
 Roo. Butt. 
 
 Pig. Trewlye, Sir, It was a chaunce, hapned this night in my 
 howse, But I do well hope your worships will not think myne 
 Inne, any the whitt, the dishonester, for that. 
 
 hac. O no, myne Host, wee do not right trewly, 
 Nor euer shall, yet, Gentlemen, since now 
 The Thing is blown, I would not, sure, you droopt 
 For the same, what euer Thing may happen ; 
 For know you Kings haue worne vulcanus Badge 
 Aiu-elius, Atrides, Claudius, 
 Not onely Kings, But Gods themselues also, 
 Vulcan, Cynthius, Mars, Then this our 
 Decision of the Case. Since that each 
 Thus haue reuenged each, you shall bind hands, 
 And for I suppose, Fowre tymes you haue changd, 
 First from Two to Two, Then from Three to Three, 
 Name the whole Frump that hereon doth ensewe, 
 We do confesse our selues to be but Errants. 
 Be you agreed? say. (Cla.) Wee be. Loe, I take 
 Doucebella againe to bed. (Dou.) I, you. 
 
 Flo. I, myne Aruanye do wed newe. (Aru.) So doe. 
 
 Latr. Ohuel, thou and I will not part. For 
 Better nor for worse, I vowe. (01.) Agreed too. 
 
 Pig. By faith of an honest Man, This well may be called 
 trew Trigamie now, I do assure you all, my Masters all. 
 
 Denh. And Gentles, with best glee to celebrate 
 These happy Reconcilements, To morrowe, 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 87 
 
 If you so accept of so small seruice, 
 
 Wee will be your Conuoy, toward London, all. 
 
 All. Thanks, M' Captaines, and wee will attend you, Mary. 
 
 Lac. Come on your wayes and follow this way all. 
 Come.* But staye. •Here they 
 
 rose. 
 
 Pig. M"^ Doctor, that your worship may well know, that there 
 is as much honesty, sometyme, in an Inholders Hed, as there be 
 beanes in his garrets, or Haye in his Lofts, so you would but 
 promise Pardon the offendours. For a Summary Catastrophe 
 of the whole Jigge or Frump, I will helpe you to your Bolle, 
 loe. 
 
 Nim. The prick-eare, see, will betray us, since he hath now, 
 as I told you, both our Moneys, in his hand. Verily, this was 
 that the mad deuise he spake. 
 
 Shift. Long as Shift is shift, Shift will' shift for himself. 
 
 Perl. This my hand be thy Prolocutions Pasport, Pigot. 
 
 Pig. Then know* These the Two were those the Gallants, • He puiid 
 And that in Testimony of the same, loe, you now do behold funh the ' 
 your Bolle.* i°He tooke 
 
 Perl. What Cacadaemon, Sirs, incited you prouoke my Pati- \J^^ \^_ 
 ence? Ha. hind the 
 
 Arras. 
 
 Nim. Mala-suada Fames, MJ Doctor, Mala-suada Fames. 
 
 Perl. That that Pernicious Harlot Fames persuade you no 
 more to lyke villainie, these shall be your doomes now. You 
 shall, Imediately, be banisht, both the Town, with coates to 
 your backs, and moneys in your purses. And if at any tyme 
 hencefurth, it shall so happen, you be found returne. Then 
 each you shall receiue a Jerkin, a peice, at the Townes dis- 
 pence, Ha ha. 
 
88 THE CUCK-QUEANES AND 
 
 Both. Be it so, And wee do thank your good worship for it. 
 Perl. And wright shall haue his Moneye. Ha ha hae. 
 Wrigh. Wy, I do thank your very good worship for it. I 
 will clawe you, yeomen. 
 •A small Lac. Six a clock.* Follow, Gentlemen all, Farewell myne 
 
 Clock or __. 
 Ting. Host. 
 
 Pig. First I will but set you in your waye, After bid you 
 Adieu. 
 
 Lacy Pigot Grex. 
 
 Thus to our powres wee haue tayne in the vayle 
 From off our Comick Scene, if any the 
 Fault in the broadnes of the Theame, wee answere you 
 It is a Comaedy and Comaedyes, 
 
 Since world hath beene, in most things, haue beene broad. 
 And to clap finer stamps on ruder coynes 
 Would, in his circiunstances, be, as if 
 Adde you should gold lace to a welchmans Frize, 
 Or mix a Comet with a Gelders Home. 
 Yet lest we should offend in some degree, 
 I deeme t'will be nor crime nor slanderous Sin, 
 Trewe you would deeme him myne Host Pigots Inne. 
 Pig. Sure you, Sirs, I may not, well, so afford him. 
 •Wafted all ^^^' Gentlemen all, Fare well, now Frolick all.* 
 
 and mou'd 
 his cap but. 
 
CUCKOLDS ERRANTS. 89 
 
 The Sixth Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 Men. Along, Along, Gallants, Along 
 Wo. Wee do come after, all, in a Throng. 
 Men. Let neither stump nor stone hinder your Pace 
 Wo. No wee do assure in any case. 
 Cho. Sing with heaue and with hoe 
 
 Vp to the citie wee goe. 
 
 2. 
 
 Men. Nor Cantor nor Doxie hinder your going 
 Wo. For wee haue such foremen going 
 Men. Pick staff and Buckler hold do you notfeare 
 Wo. Who would and haue such champions to Cheare. 
 Cho. Sing with heaue and with hoe 
 
 Vp to the citie wee goe. 
 
 S. 
 
 Men. The Tyme to maintayne what shall we now sing 
 Wo. What you will, what you please any thing 
 Men. As wee goe, all, trauelling vp along 
 Wo. Gentlemen, begin, begin the Song. 
 Cho. Sing with heaue and with hoe, 
 
 Vp to the citie wee goe, 
 
 FINIS 1601. 
 
 M 
 
THE FAERY PASTORALE 
 
 OR 
 
 FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 Malo me Galataea petit Lasciua Fuella 
 
 Et fugit ad Salices et se cupit ante videri. (Virg. Bucol.iii. v. 64.) 
 
* ft 
 
THE NAMES OF PERSONS. 
 
 The Prologue. 
 
 Oberon King of the Faeryes. 
 
 Chloris Queene of the Faeryes. 
 
 Orion Prince of Eluida. 
 
 Learchus ^ 
 
 Picus > Faery Huntsmen with short Partizans. 
 
 Hippolon J 
 
 Hypsiphyle Princesse of Eluida. 
 
 Florida "4 
 
 Camilla > Faery Huntswomen with short Partizans. 
 
 Fancia J 
 
 Sylius Graund Hunter, An Old Syluan, Clad in Badgers Skins, 
 
 with Home about his neck, old Bore and Corpulent. 
 Syluia, A Huntresse his Leman. 
 
 yFaery Pages or Faery Elues. 
 
 Sir Dauid A Schoolemaster of the Faery children. 
 
 Brown Sapho His Trull. 
 
 Christophel A Keeper. 
 
 Saloman A Schoole Boye. 
 
 Schools Boyes 3. 
 
 Chorus the whole crewe of Huntsmen. 
 
 The Scene 
 Eluida Forrest. 
 
THE PROPERTIES. 
 
 Highest, aloft, and on the Top of the Mustek Tree the Title 
 The Faery Pastor all, Beneath him pind on Post of the Tree 
 The Scene Eluida Forrest. Lowest off all ouer the Canopie 
 NAnAITBOAAION or Faery Chappell. A kiln of Brick. A 
 Fowen Cott. A Hollowc Oake with vice of wood to shutt to. 
 A Lowe well with Roape and PuUye. A Fourme of Turues. 
 A Greene Bank being Pillowe to the Hed but. Lastly A Hole 
 to creepe in and out. Now if so be that the Properties of any 
 These, that be outward, mil not seme the turne by reason 
 of concurse of the People on the Stage, Then you may omitt 
 the say d Properties which be outward and supply e their Places 
 with their Nuncupations onely in Text Letters, Thus for some. 
 
THE 
 
 FAERY PASTORALL. 
 
 *ThE PROLOGUE/or the Court. * Vide Pro- 
 
 logue Ge- 
 
 A Poet neuer setteth Quill to Booke cipio voiu- 
 
 To render, vnto men, his witts accounts, minis. 
 
 According to his Theame opposd to him, 
 
 But first he calls, vnto his ayde, the Gods, 
 
 So wee, that be our Poets Counterparts, 
 
 If to speede wee meane, now must summon first 
 
 Your Graces mind, vnto our vowes, by Prayer, 
 
 For as wee reade of Terences Comaedyes 
 
 Hecyra, a Comaody, good it self, 
 
 T' haue beene explode because the Multitude, 
 
 Same day, was other way intent, wee Actors, 
 
 If now you lend to careful things, your hed, weighty 
 
 Or that you little deeme our humble suite. 
 
 For lushious Banquet of your glee, beset 
 
 With curious Pourcelaine of your Prayse, be lyke 
 
 Swallow a Stiptick Plum with Hecyra 
 
 Then by your eares, in lieu of Gods to vs, 
 
96 THE FAERY PASTORALL. 
 
 Wee do Implore your Majesty, you would 
 Aspire a gale vnto our Enterprise, 
 And that, by wafting of your glittering Beames, 
 Wee may be introduct the Tyde, you would 
 Not suffer vs, with Dog-cheape Hecyra, 
 (As do those children of the Arme of Gold) 
 Be on this shoare, like wracked Purchase, sold 
 But lyke Gold sheepe, by your sweet Musick, toald. 
 Which done, proceede forward wee will be bold. 
 
 ACT I SCEN 1. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Hysiphyle Orion Florida with attendaunts, Men and women 
 Huntresses on eitJier syde. Hysiphyle with a Ghirlond 
 Imperiall of Bayes. They hist at tJieir meeting Then Hypsi- 
 phyle spalce as followes. 
 
 Hypsiphyle Orion Florida. 
 
 Hyp. My Lord Orion, you be right welcome 
 To Eluida, how does his Grace ? I pray. 
 
 Or. At my departure from Court I left him 
 In Health, In token of which with these your 
 Ladiship he greetes. See. (Hyp.) Sir, I thank you. 
 And where lyes the Court now ? (Or.) At Obera. 
 
 Hyp. My Cosens, they do well ? all. (Or.) All right well. 
 
 Hyp. Myne eyes haue a Rheume with sitting late. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 97 
 
 And therefore, Florida, with liuing Toung 
 Deliver them vp, thou, vnto our eares. 
 
 Flor. To my louing Cosen Hypsiphyle Greeting. 
 
 I am giuen to vnderstand, that notonely thourough the Negligence 
 of you, hut also by that of your fellow Huntresses myfrutefull 
 and florishing Forest of Ehiida goeth to decay e. And that such sundry 
 abuses do daily rise thereby. Wherefore this is the cause that I 
 by these my Letters now thought it meet to require you That you 
 surrender the sayd Forrest together with the Appurtenaunces 
 thereto belonging to my well beloued kinsman Orion right 
 famous for his skill and Industry thourough our Forrests and 
 chases, As for the sayd abuses they will appeare the better vpon 
 the Reformation of them. This I charge you perfourme and to 
 perfourme it willingly, For I will beleeue ike complaint of my 
 Keepers. Obera, from our Faery Court there. And from the 
 last yeare of the Reigne of Julius our Father to this the present 
 yeare of our Reigne (*) And the forty and fifth day of this pre- * See the 
 
 number in 
 
 sent Greace 1647. one of our 
 
 Your louing Cosen Almanacks. 
 
 Oberon. 
 
 Hyp. Come you lyke to Laureate victors crownd ? 
 Then with Mineruaes Oliues Bound ? Sit you 
 Sure, For if you can not proue such abuses 
 To be in Eluida as you suppose 
 By my Faith you nimbd not furth so lightly 
 My fingers the Forrest of the Faeryes. 
 
 Or. Madame, if I were disposd so, I could 
 Produce those abuses that daily be 
 
98 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Comitt in Eluida that in the end 
 
 you would with shame subscribe to your error 
 
 Hyp. Wherein, I pray you. Repeate them if you may. 
 
 Or, No sooner was I entered the Park 
 But I found, loe, Heardes of Bulls and Boares 
 Rooting those Commons which my Deere should feede, 
 Besyde such spoilings and vp turnings where 
 They came, that such was the Hauock thereby 
 They pilled not onely the Barks well grown 
 But eate the yoimg Sprigges in their growth too, So 
 That they starud the Poore Deere for want of shelter. 
 
 Hyp. Better I hope, my Lord, to let the Swyne 
 Route those woodes, then the Soyle by its ranknes 
 Should smother the Bucks in their greace. For such 
 Heades as they feede better on a short grasse 
 Then on larger commons. (Or.) Admit they doe. 
 Yet they should not vndoe the tender Plants 
 That serue for shelter vnto you and them. 
 
 Hyp. If but of the Plants you do complaine so 
 Greater Trees will our wants supplye. So that 
 By the vniointed tattars of your talk 
 I do see you do come rather to cauill 
 Then to redresse those Things, that be amisse. 
 
 Or. If so, why do you let the Brakes, I praye. 
 To Multiplye with Toades and snakes ? When as 
 Y' haue a charme giu'n you by your Ancestours 
 T' expell the venemous from off your Soyle? 
 
 Hyp. I graimt, wee haue a powrftdl charme and that 
 Verifyde by long Experience, But so 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 99 
 
 Multitudinous the Frye wee had neede. 
 
 Ibis or ophiophagi to ridde 
 
 Our Forrest of so Fructeous a Foe. 
 
 Or. Neuer, I weene, Since Eluida hath beene, 
 In Eluida such errors haue beene seene. 
 
 Hyp. Faeryes may alter Things as their pleasure, 
 That if any Thing w' haue spent our Tyme 
 The same may be redrest in Twink of eye. 
 At what then may your Lordship so complaine ? 
 
 Or. Haue I not cause, think you ? to complaine. 
 Seeing the Pales and Saults to be broake downe, 
 That in twenty places Mahgnant witches. 
 In shapes of Polecattes, Lizards, and weasells. 
 May creepe in betweene to bewitch the Fawnes ? 
 Hyp. That's the Syluans' office, my Lord, not ours. 
 Or. Wee pay our Syluans, but you pay yourselues. 
 Hyp. I dart it to you back. For I'll be swome 
 Wee haue not onely pawnd our Bowes and quivers 
 But sold that Gland wee daily feede on 
 To satisfye your turne {Or.) other wordes would 
 Better beseeme your Modesty, Lady. 
 Yet what's the cause Honnest Hysiphyle, 
 Syluius with his Bands of Forresters 
 Spoiles the game, murdreth Fawnes, affrights the Doaes ? 
 Committing lyke outrages, whilst you run 
 Tripping ore the greenes, that for twise-ten bucks 
 I told before I can now tell but one ? 
 
 Hyp. The Rot hath consumd them, thats the cause. 
 Or. If not for you the Rot had neuer beene. 
 
100 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyp. Since Cankers swarmd, wee could ne're clench the soyle. 
 Or. Stand you ? to teare at vs, Hoa, wee haue 
 Our Commission, by the vertue of which 
 I require you what be the Lawes you vse ? 
 When lyke Pigmies you ride against thee Deere. 
 
 Hyp. On Rammes and Goates wee compase in the Beast, 
 With Cymbales, Basons Piping and Tooting, 
 With goades, with Potguns, Scarcrowes and with reedes. 
 Then his Parts diuided into shares, wee 
 Bestowe the Miser in Baskits all along 
 
 Or. Be you not ashamd ? First to come in Troupes 
 Upon a Fugitiue, but also then 
 With notes of Triumphe make him to bewayle 
 Th' vnkindnes of his Keepers ? I discharge you 
 
 Hyp. Will you enforce vs ? our cause not yet hearde ? 
 My Lord, fore I do loose my right, I will 
 Vse all the Points of woodmanship I haue 
 Gainst you, win the Crown weare you it and mee, 
 ♦Shehurld And loe, in pawn, I hurle him vp our Tropheye.* 
 lond impe- Or. Lady, Since you be so Peremptory 
 Fron^^f ° I'll accept the Pawn, and vse my whole Skill 
 ChappX'" To win you and it. Better open Foe 
 
 Then Foe conceald (Hyp.) Neuer weild I Bowe I 
 Make you not forgoe the feild with shame 
 
 Or. Neuer strike I Buck if before night you 
 Recant not your humour (Hyp.) Come on your wayes, 
 My totaU Skill shall be layd furth against you. 
 Or. Swift Delia for vs (Hyp.) And she for vs. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 101 
 
 ACT I SCEN 2. 
 
 Christophel Atys Hylas. 
 
 Christ. W Atys and M"^ Hylas. 
 
 At. Your Seruaunts. 
 
 Christ. Doe you say ? If I shall but chewe eury Morning any 
 one of these Reasons from a Gore-belly Daemon as I am now I 
 shall then become Elf as you be ? 
 
 At. Just as Jenkin, sure. 
 
 Hyl. Beleeue him, M"^ Christophel, on so sacred an Oathe. 
 
 Christ. Once more discouer mee the Frayle, Come. 
 
 At. Thus. First the Squirill will so practise your Corpus 
 cum Causa, both your worships Temples will distill thereby 
 lyke the drops of a Lawyers labour. 
 
 Hyl. O for the Excrement of that Excrement but. It might 
 be sold for much and giuen to Moimtibanks. 
 
 Christ. By fate of my body I sweate Indifferently following a 
 Beare, Therefore neede not in my opinion further breake the 
 Tombler. 
 
 At. If by maene of following a Beare your Flesh should be 
 exhaled all euen into a Pumice stone, yet the Dregges of an 
 Earthy disposition would then lykwise settle in your Breetch, 
 if the Beare should but regard you grim. 
 
 Hyl. So the Plummet being lowe and base it would Tyrani- 
 cally aduance the rumbling of your Clock. 
 
 Christ. Then a course or Two at a Butterflye should serue 
 my tume. 
 
 At. Haidking is Haulking and Hunting is Hunting. 
 
102 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Christ. Idem per Idem, yet follow. 
 
 At. If wee that be huntsmen should leaue our Hunting and 
 fall to Haulking wee might so in Tyme transport our Forrest of 
 Elues into the Aire. 
 
 Christ. So estabUsh a newe world ? 
 
 At. I, Sir. 
 
 Christ. The Gyaimts were dismount for mounting Mounts. 
 
 Hi/l. Will you Committ lyke Sacriledge ? 
 
 Christ. Seigneur No. 
 
 At. Doe. 
 
 Christ. O no. 
 
 At. What say you ? 
 
 Christ. After your Mountibuck Praeludium you would but 
 shewe vs your ware now 
 
 At. Wee will vse you well. 
 
 Christ. I thank you for it. 
 
 At. Come neare I pray you. 
 
 Christ. Myne eares do stretch vnto you 
 
 At. The one Contrary deuoureth the other contrary, 
 dilne Christ. As once well clothed Diues did the naked Lazarus. 
 
 Hi/l. The same Reason. For what in Ciuill Lawe belongeth 
 to one, that is the inferior, the same belongeth also to him that 
 is his superior. 
 
 At. You lykwise, if together with this violence of Squirilling 
 you would but admitt worshipfull M"^ Heate into your Lodge, 
 he would in a Trice emptye your greasy Tub. 
 
 Christ. The Uquour I confesse. Now for the exhaling the dregs. 
 
 At. A Pantagruel Pille would clench you as you were a Jakes. 
 
 Christ, Vndoe mee the Trick, I pray you. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 103 
 
 At. Pantagruel one day lying on his death bed swallowed 
 down his Mawe a Ternary of Chimney Sweepes, that were en- 
 closed into as many Balles of Brasse, who after they had 
 sufficiently purged his Filth came all back in them againe with 
 the Tyde in a vomit, So you, Sir, according the Proportion 
 shall be purged with as many Horse-leeches. 
 
 Hyl. How say you ? Sir. 
 
 Christ. No Rakehell enters my Gutts on my Fa. 
 
 At. Take you then an other Receipt into you, I pray you. 
 
 Christ. Rather a Commodity, Therefore passe you now mee 
 ouer to the Commoditys of the sport, I pray. 
 
 At. Whereas Hunting the Buck you may follow him Three 
 myle without stop or staye, Hunting the Squirrill at eury step 
 you make you may then obteyne a Tree to leane on. 
 
 Christ. I mary. How seeme I now vnto you ? Here he 
 
 J,, A • t r^ strouted. 
 
 At. A pnck-eare Curr. 
 
 Christ. How before. 
 
 Hi/l. A Lagged Asse. 
 
 Christ. You aime at my Phisnomies 
 
 At. By his Tayle you may Prognosticate Comming of a 
 showre. 
 
 Christ. Pretie, How I prittey ? 
 
 At. By turning it to the weather. 
 
 Christ. I will institute thereof an Almanack. 
 
 At. Againe, if the storme come, Sayd Tree will keepe you drye. 
 
 Christ. Superlatiuely good for skin and for boane. 
 
 At. If you faint, a Bolt will batter you a whole BusheU of 
 Nuts down. 
 
 Christ. Liqueurs refrigorate, Nuts exsiccate. 
 
104 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyl Twenty to a Three-half pence but you shall find his 
 store-house pist. 
 
 At. Possibly by leauelling at a Squirrill you may chaunce hit 
 a Buzzard so merit of the Church. 
 
 Christ. How much ? 
 
 At. A Groate. 
 
 Christ. Sett him down. 
 
 At. Has no homes to poate at you, Mary now and then you 
 may battle well a Flap of his Tayle, Sir, if so it may like you. 
 
 Christ. With better Furr may a Man be faced ? 
 
 At. Finally and in good sadnes, Sir, It will be more pretious 
 to you then Tyme himself, He is Bald behind. This, if he escape 
 you, you chaunce may catch him back by the Tayle. 
 
 Christ. Doubt sticketh in my Mawe. 
 
 Hyl. Zoimds ; spet him furth. 
 
 Christ. That Beast he is his Building in Trees doth op- 
 pugne it. 
 
 Hyl. Did you neuer heare of a Horse-neast ? 
 
 At. I euer tooke him for a Hedg-hog, Hylas, I. 
 
 Christ. That Bu*d he is. His Multiplicitye of feet doth giue 
 me also the Lye, yet Plinie an Assured Truth-Teller alloweth 
 in Birds Quadruplicity of them. 
 
 Hyl. An vndoubted Beast he is, you may know him by his 
 slouens Inne. 
 
 At. You say you ? Sir, will you leaue the chace and goe along 
 with vs ? Saye. 
 
 Christy Hau. 
 
 Hyl. Quick, Sir, Apollo wasteth his Candle, See 
 
 Christ. If I but single, I shall be singeld on the single. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 105 
 
 At. Our Buttocks for yours. 
 
 Christ. Be your Buttocks Buttocks or warrants ? 
 
 At. They be Patents. 
 
 Christ. Verily? 
 
 Hyl. Very verily, Sir. 
 
 Christ. Dwelleth in yonder Tree a* "Saydit 
 
 A Beast will doe vs glee a 
 For to behold and see a 
 Three Merry Men be wee a 
 Goe wee to the wood all Three a. 
 
 At. Wee thank you, Sir. So come on your ways now. 
 
 Christ. Staye. 
 
 At. What ayle you ? 
 
 Christ. The Spartans the better to keepe their Ranks, 
 wonted March to the tunes of their Pipes, So wee embattle wee 
 our selues in our March to the wind of our organs lykwise. 
 
 At. Best of all. 
 
 Christ. And be it to the tune of Gracchus his Recorder. 
 
 Hyl. Wee conceiue you well. 
 
 Christ. Neuer a whit you doe. 
 
 The First Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 / see the Squirrill in tJie Tree^ 
 Come away, wantons, come away. 
 Bring Dog and Bolt along with yee 
 Him will we haue before shut of day. 
 
106 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 2. 
 Each one voith Bat, with Hat, tvith Cap, 
 Down vnih him, doton ere that he climbe 
 Hap may the Foole salute the Trap 
 Ere Destinies have spun his Tyme. 
 
 3. 
 Run Dog, shift DiueU, Hoa, amayne, 
 Sound Drum, strik vp a coursing steuen. 
 Though he putt to him all his paine. 
 Wee will haue him yet by St. Stephen. 
 
 4. 
 Oh, my Sir, and be you now tayne ? 
 You shall, hence, no more our Trees climbe, 
 Nor eate vp, your self to maintaine, 
 Ourfruite vnripe before its Tyme. 
 
 ACT I SCEN 3. 
 
 Learchus Picus Hippolon. 
 
 Lear. Thus Far haue wee (Hippolon and Picus) 
 Tended on the Person of Orion 
 Twoward Purchase of his Right in this Land, 
 Yet vnto our selues wee haue not as yet 
 Obteyned least Fruite of our long Longings 
 Concerning th' Appetition of our Loues 
 To these Sauage and CrueU Himtresses 
 Florida, Camilla, Fancia, Then 
 Saye deare freinds and fellowes in woodmanship. 
 What course haue wee to take herein ? O saye. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 107 
 
 Pic. Learchus, the eyes of Camilla haue 
 So bewitcht poore Picus that be hath not 
 Sence or Feeling what course to take herein, 
 Yet the Ardure of that Flame that bumeth 
 Within him is so feirce and violent 
 That Hap had, Hap dab, what course so euer 
 May be deuised in the enterprise 
 Will seeme to be both small and vnaequall 
 To th' obteyning the Palme of his desire. 
 
 Hipp. Nay, Picus, nay, Rather an ordinary course *»!"« 
 
 Is to be attempted before wee shall 
 Put in vre an Extraordinary 
 For Mylde wordes and gentle Locutions haue 
 Moued the Gods of Olympus come down 
 In releif of their suppliant Mistrisses 
 As by our sacred Poets hath beene told. 
 
 Pic. Hippolon, Hippolon, those radiant gleames 
 Camilla gloomes from the circumference 
 Of her sweet Arched eyen will terrifye 
 Any shall but dare pleade his cause to her. 
 
 Lear. And for those ruddy cheekes of Florida, 
 They do seeme to mee those starting Apples 
 Of Tantalus if I should offer but 
 One Snatch at their back-sliding boughes, I weene. 
 
 Hipp. But the wordes of Fancia nere so feirce 
 Will qualify vpon the notes I know 
 Of my strick and feruent affection of her — 
 If any tyme I may but sing my suite to her. 
 
 Lear. For there is such a chill of Chastitye 
 
108 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 In the Breasts of these Impes of Diana 
 
 And that by then* continuall Practise 
 
 In Hunting, that sooner you shall split Rocks 
 
 In Twayne then breake them of their Frowardnes. 
 
 Pic. Nay, I think Camilla's extract from line 
 Of that Camilla in greate virgil told 
 That sooner would flye ouer Spikes of come 
 Then to be tayne by Man in this round Mound. 
 
 Lear. And Florida will sooner leape from Rock 
 As Ino did then yeild her httle Lambe 
 Vnto the vse of feirce Learchus lust. 
 So keene she is against th' Assault of vs. 
 
 Hipp. Fancia of an other strayne is sure, 
 As I am thouroughly persuaded of her, 
 For as her name doth forcibly Implye 
 She may Fancey some though late it be, 
 Nunquatn sera est ad bonos mores via, 
 
 Lear. Who that some should be I cannot decerne. 
 My self, I cannot rectify e my mind so, 
 Florida myne in any sort will be. 
 
 Hipp. Si vox est canta, si mollia brachia salta, 
 Et quceeunq, potes dote placere place. 
 
 Lear. For haue I not vsed those many shifts 
 Could be deuisd to bring my wind about, 
 Yet see. Oh see, she will be none to mee. 
 
 Hipp. Si precibus non vult cedere rumpe moras. 
 
 Pic. Well brought about, Hoa, For women if soft 
 Toucht will sting lyke nettles, if rubd againe 
 Well will beare the Touch, Oh, beare vp, I saye. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 109 
 
 Hipp. Now Picus sheweth him a Man of Proofe. 
 
 Pic. And trye the Conclusion, For my lime-Bush 
 Shall hent the flightest Haggard, flyes this day. 
 
 Lear. Yet in Importunity men do saye 
 No losse is, wherefore giue th' Assault once more 
 And if wee shall not speede so, then let vs 
 Sing the black Satmce the one against the other. 
 Come. (Pic.) Well vyde, Learchus by my Truth ; Come. 
 
 Hipp. So goe wee on and first see the Tryall. 
 
 Lear. Then come, And follow mee to Court you too. 
 
 Hipp, I doe. 
 
 ACT I SCEN 4. 
 
 Florida Camilla Fancia. ,,,, „ 
 
 Flo. Sisters myne, I tell you, I am fitted for a seruaunt. 
 
 Cam. Florida, If thou beest better fitted then I am fitted, 
 Florida, Take thou vnto thee the other Liuerye too. 
 
 Fan. How ? each of vs a Horse ? 
 
 Flo. I'll be sworne myne's an Asse. 
 
 Fan. Lets pace them. Sisters deare. 
 
 Flo. Come on. 
 
 Cam. Picus. 
 
 Flo. Learchus. 
 
 Fan. Hippolon. 
 
 Flo. Markst nott how my Gentleman draweth in his lips -when 
 he but talketh lyke a paire of deale Boardes ? Camilla. 
 
 Fan. Rather lyke Two shooe-soales had got a leake. 
 
110 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Flo. And how fithily he suppeth in his Potage ! Roupe 
 Roupe. 
 
 Cam. Picus is so formall forsooth he will rather spet into his 
 dish then take furth with his napkin an vnsauourly morsell. 
 
 Flo. I though he had been lisping verses the whiles. 
 
 Cam. Indeed he hath the Booke of Amyntas perfecter then 
 he has his Creede, Sister. 
 
 Fan. If Hippolon haue not more fretting Qualities then these 
 be, then do you cutt of my Nose and eate him for an Egge. 
 
 Cam. Breake vp the Goose. 
 
 Fan. Hauing nothing say to you he will stare you in the face, 
 yet is blind as a Buzard. 
 
 Flo. Belyke he tooke thee for a Mud-wall, Fancia. 
 
 Cam. Didst not course him for his Saucinesse ? Sirrha. 
 
 Fan. Consydering his Nobihty I conteynd, yet wrung him as 
 good on the withers. 
 
 Flo. Let's see the girth, wench. 
 
 Fan. Knowing him for worse then a Crowder, I sayd to him 
 be you pricking Fancyes ? my Lord. 
 
 Cam. How warded he thy blowe ? Fancia. 
 
 Fan. Thus, No Fancyes, faire Lady, but Fan's eyes. 
 
 Flo . I know where he pickt that Gooseberry. 
 
 Cam. Did he not laugh at sauoure of his own conceit? Ha. 
 
 Fan. Each one knows better the Nature of an other man's 
 breathe, then he does his own. 
 
 Flo. Learchus has bestowd on mee a Poimd of Figges! 
 Sisters. 
 
 Cam. Sirrha, why didst not ride him with his Asse ? then. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. Ill 
 
 Fan. Asses ride Mares and women ride Asses. 
 
 Flo. At what laughest thou ? Camilla. 
 
 Cam. Since you speake of riding at a pretie Trick my Horse cast 
 playd mee. 
 
 Fan. Putt Spurrs to the Jade. 
 
 Cam. Picus being to ride before mee to Park would needes 
 in courtesye haue had mee mount vp before him. 
 
 Flo. How gottst thou furth the Gripe of his Importunity ? dUue 
 Sirrha. 
 
 Cam. Thus, God made women for the vnder hand not for 
 the vpper, my Lord. 
 
 Fan. Was he not thereon Blankt or blanketted ? 
 
 Cam. Verily no, onely he answerd, I meant not so sweete 
 Madame, But that your Ladiship would haue but mounted first 
 the Pillian. 
 
 Flo. So to haue tvu'ned thee ouer with his Foote. 
 
 Cam. A Sequence for mee. 
 
 Fan. A Flush for him. 
 
 Flo. Now will you heare what my seruant did ? Sisters. 
 
 Fan. For Gods sake, Sister. 
 
 Flo. Being to walk before mee to Court, there was neuer a 
 wench mett vs on the way betweene this and thither but he 
 kist her. 
 
 Fan. What was his reason for it ? sayd he. 
 
 Flo. As sweete meates must haue sowre sauces to them, so my 
 sweet kisse, sayd he, would relish so much the better after their 
 sowre ones. 
 
 Fan. He gaue thee it right. 
 
 Cam. Cum Comento. 
 
11« THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Flo. Fan. With one dost ouer and aboue I beleeue. 
 
 Cam. But is this all may be sayd of them ? 
 
 Fan. Much more. 
 
 Fh. Well. Is it not worthy th' obseruing ? 
 That men of their esteeme should be so poore 
 In Acts Heroick, Cheuallryes, And in 
 The Treasures of the mynd, while eury Pesaunt 
 Surpasses them in witt and worthynes ? 
 What's to be done Sisters, Camilla, Fancia ? 
 For such their ill brought vp vntowardnes ? 
 Saye. (Cam.) Since they come t' encroach on Eluida 
 Not lyke Commissioners but Conquerours 
 Camillae's resolute opinion is 
 Wee seme them each an Eluish Trick. (Flo.) Agreed. 
 
 Fan. Who begms ? (Flo.) That will I, and but Pray 
 Whilst I am with Learchus you would but 
 Moue this Bush and for the rest to leaue mee. 
 
 Fan. And when I wind my Bugle Home you would 
 But answere mee with yours from contrary 
 Places of the Forrest. (Cam.) Camilla, Dames 
 She will weaue her web without your helpes. Come. 
 
 Flo. Now each her task, which if they hit but right 
 All, wee will bring you, to your Beds, this night. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 118 
 
 ACT II SCEN 1. 
 
 The Direction, 
 
 Here they sat all on the Fourme of Turues, Sir Dauid walking 
 with a Neast of Throssells in his hand held. Brown Sapho 
 sowing in a Samplar by them. 
 
 Sir Dauid Salomon Schoole Boyes 3 Brown Sapho. 
 
 Dau. Sequimini, follow your Masters steps, The Bell is for 
 the Runner, the whetstone for the lyar, a Rod for a naughty 
 Boy, And the Birds be for him best sayeth his Le9on. Obnubi- 
 late your Temples, the Plague lyeth in Phoebus his shafts, inrketh. 
 Juniperi granis vmhra nocente et frugibus vmbrce, So ordine 
 quisq. iuo, Come, say, Manasseth the Petit begin. Tibia dulce 
 canit volucrem dum decipit Auceps, 
 
 School 1. Tib. 
 
 Dau. Doe not think so much on Tib. (Foole.) Bia you 
 
 Rogue.* *Hepluckt 
 
 him by the 
 
 Soph.) My sister would haue had thee by the face if She had eare. 
 heard thee Asse. 
 
 1. Tibia dulce canit. 
 
 Dau. Now thou Pipest right, construe and peirce mee this 
 worde canit. 
 
 1. Cano Canis A Dog. 
 
 Dau. Isse? Heardstnot? thy Fellowes hissed thee ? Nit you 
 lowzie Rascall, Nit 
 
 1. Nit, you lowzie Rascall. 
 
 Q 
 
114 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Dau. Decline mee the worde (Canit) and that roundly too, 
 I reade you. 
 
 1. Ka. 
 
 Dau. Quod satis est sufficit. 
 
 1. Volu 'crem 
 
 Dau. Volucrem or Volu 'crem, yet in this Place I do hold you 
 must say volucrem not volucrem, and of same opinion was Cato 
 Senior the authour of this Booke, As also by his number it will 
 most euidently appeare so vnto you, you shall see els. Tibia 
 dulce canit volucrem dum decipit Auceps. 
 
 School 2. Mictum. 
 
 Dau. Accelerate, Nee Mictum retine nee Comprime fortiter 
 Anum. 
 
 Sal. Sir, does not the Tayle of that verse say to you, you 
 •Withliat must not enter your croane too stiff ? Sir.* 
 
 Dau. A Pretie demaund it is. Yet for these Two yeares do 
 you embrace Tacitumitie, Sirrha. It is so. Forward. 
 
 1. Auceps. 
 
 Dau. Thinkest to deceiue mee with a Dumbe Decipit ? But 
 Forward, No difficultie now a dayes I do find in the Decipies, 
 Sirrha ; How English you Auceps in our Faery Toung ? Sirrha. 
 
 1. A Fowler. 
 
 Dau. Fowle haire verily hast thou. Get thee euen into the 
 Tonstrine, There is a groate for thee. And Amputate mee there 
 away thy lockes. Away be gone. You in the Gaily -Gascoines 
 there. Come on your way I beseech you, say your Le9on. Begin 
 I saye. 
 «c. Schoole 3. Sacerdosiens adNuptius inuenit Pyrorum struem. 
 
 Dau. AuscuUa, First be it known to you before that you 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 115 
 
 shall so take in into you the inward Pith or Cassia Fistula of 
 this Lecture, I shall expoimd vnto you the whole circumstance 
 of the Fable by a kind of Paraphrasis as you shall conceiue mee. 
 JPor so shall you be better able, as I sayd to you, drayne in- 
 wardly in into you the whole Pith or substantial! liquititie of 
 the Matter, hereafter. A certaine Parish Priest bidden furth 
 to a Rich man's wedding found by chaunce in his way a heape of 
 Peares, and the which he, in high disdaine of them, drewe furth 
 his whatchicall. 
 
 S. What is a whatchicall ? Praeceptor. 
 
 Dau. That you shall know the better, Sirrha, by your own 
 Experience of him in tyme to come, And pist vpon them. 
 
 3. Oh ho. 
 
 Dau. Saying, what neede I tast these Peares ? when at wed- 
 ding I shall so farce my belly with christmas Pyes and venaison 
 Pastyes I shall neuer repent mee there for my doing so here. 
 Well, to proceede, when he was come to this Rich Mans howse 
 (For as much as you must suppose the night before he had ouer 
 watcht him at Mawe) He found dinner done and past before he 
 came. So that of necessity hauing now the whole mends in his 
 hands, what might this Parish Priest now done in the case 
 mought you Sir suppose ? Mary, in a pelting chafe returning 
 now home, empty and hiuigry as he was, Antiquce venit Canis 
 odossu ccence, He was glad for to eate of those Peares, which 
 he had before so adspersed with the aiger Sawce of his vrine, 
 And gaue the Lord God of Heauen most hearty Thanks for 
 them. Goe, get you mee this by hearte Sirrha, And bring you 
 mee it by to-morrow morning transcribed word for worde and 
 in his own Latin Toung too fiirth its own Originall latine Coppie 
 
116 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 I reade you, For it was Ciceroes own Inuention (as M"^ Acham 
 sayes) I do promise you trewe. Away be gone. 
 
 3. Etiam Prceceptor. 
 
 Dau. Now come on, M"^ Salomon, come on your wayes (you 
 be a graue Philosopher M' Salomon) Come, Now after this 
 Scuruie geare let vs but tast one Bolle of your wisdome. Sir, 
 Eloquere. 
 
 Sal. Quamquam te, Marie Jilif Annum iam audientum Cra~ 
 tippum, Idq ; Athenis abundare oportet prceceptis Institutisq ; 
 PhilosophicB propter summam Doctoris Autoritatem et vrbis, 
 quorum Alter te scientia augere potest, Altera et ccet. 
 
 Dau. Hoa, Bung vp your voices I beseech you all, For I do 
 heare some comming toward vs, who be no Peripatiticks I may 
 weH perceiue them by their Treadings, Bimg vp, I saye. 
 
 Saph. Your treadings be as you woidd treade vpon Egges 
 dUue. feare least you breake them. Sir, 
 
 Dau. And loe they be all vpon vs now. Bung vp, I say. 
 
 ACT n SCEN 2. 
 
 Atys Hylas Christophel Dauid Salomon Brown Sapho. 
 
 At. Salue, Domine, Salue. 
 
 Dau. I do replye your Saluie Salutations vpon you all. Sirs. 
 At. Yoiu- Saluie Resalutation stinketh most putrifyedly, Sir. 
 Christ. Fye, Sir Dauid, you that be a Faery. . 
 • Sowing Saph. A Faire eye he is trewly.* 
 
 Christ. And haue the bringing vp of the Elues of the Forrest 
 in Roguery. 
 Dau. Sir? 
 
 stUL 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 117 
 
 Christ. You would prophane so faire a daye ? 
 
 Syl. He is a Justice of Peace, I must tell you trewe. 
 
 Saph. Myne a Knaue is I must tell you trewe. 
 
 Dau. I do beseech your worship you would but obliterate the 
 Error. 
 
 Christ. Fright them away for shame. 
 
 Dau. They be shameles and graceles Impes Perdy. 
 
 Saph. Not so shameles yet, as is our own good Master, I troe. 
 
 Christ. Send them away with a whip. 
 
 Dau. Auaimt, you Tits, that you looke mee not in the face to 
 day. 
 
 Christ. Be it a Fat Remedy too wee all do beseech. 
 
 Dau. Be it so also. Goe, Hold you the Birds my Boyes and dilue 
 pack. You Salomon, onely you, See you but reserue the drip- 
 pings of his talk 'gainst soone. 
 
 Sal. Etiam. 
 
 Christ. Whats that Salomon ? 
 
 Dau. A Philosopher he is. 
 
 Christ. A Philosopher without a Beard ? Sir. 
 
 Dau. Philosophers weare no Excrements certainly. 
 
 Christ. Haue you no Merdes in your Bellyes ? 
 
 Dau. Some and shall lyke you wee haue, but do cast them 
 into a ditch all. 
 
 Christ. So does my Bitch. 
 
 At. Has given him a Twitch. 
 
 Dau. I you beseech. 
 
 Christ. Your reading will testifye who you be. What's that 
 the Book you haue in your hand there ? 
 
 Dau. Scipioes Comaedyes. 
 
1:1.3 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Christ. Scipioes Comaedyes? Be you blind. Sir? Is not 
 this plaine Terence ? Sir. 
 
 Dau. Shall I haue Permittance? Shall I haue breath ? 
 
 Christ. Take to thee thy wind, I do freely giue thee it, 
 
 Dau. Terence fatherd, Scipio begat them. 
 
 Christ. Who would haue taken the Puritaine for a Play- 
 maker ? 
 
 At. Rather who would haue thought the other had beene a 
 Theife. 
 
 Dau. He could not haue been a Barbarian and haue yttered 
 that vrbanitie certes. 
 
 Christ, I haue a Commission for the Examining your whoore. 
 Therefore see you not stir. 
 
 DaUf With Part of my Soale and her whole stomacher 
 withall to boote. 
 
 At. Calfe, wilt suffer him kiss her in thy Presence ? He is no 
 Justice, Asse. 
 
 Dau. No? 
 
 At. No. 
 
 Dau. Lips off, Sycophant, For same she is no Lettuce. 
 
 Christ. What other Sport haue wee ? passe the afternoone ? 
 Hau. 
 
 Hyl. Nay, he is a Justice, I must tell you. My Fellow spake 
 but to the contrary, but for your better Edification of the man. 
 
 Dau. Some Innocent Sport, I beseech you, Sir. 
 
 Christ. Saye. 
 
 At. Plucking Roses ? 
 
 Christ. The Rose will prick you. 
 
 Hyl. Riding a wyld Mare ? 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 119 
 
 Christ. The Mare will kick you. 
 
 At. Picking sloes ? 
 
 Christ. The sloe will sick you. 
 
 Hyl. Catching Bees ? 
 
 Christ. The Bees will stick you. , 
 
 At. Hunting the Squirrill ? 
 
 Christ. A Squirrill, A Squirrill, whir * 'He shot 
 
 the arrowe 
 Dau. A Squirrill be it la. with his 
 
 mouth as 
 Christ. Now for our companie ? say. doe our 
 
 At. You, he and I, Brown Sapho his whoore and Salomon 
 his Boye, Fiue as I see, Sir. 
 
 Christ. Wee be Just and Jumpe euen all, as Jenkin Jermin 
 his lips, I see. 
 
 Ht/l. Wee be not so yet Sir, by your leaue, For wee be, loe, 
 six of vs in all. Sir, Jumpe and euen as you say. 
 
 Dau. Atys most trewly hath collected, for I do repute my- 
 self but a shadowe to the man. 
 
 Christ. A speciall wise man he is. Faire Damsell, will you 
 fall into league with vs ? saye. 
 
 At. He would haue her fall into legges with him. 
 
 Saph. Sapho is ready for any seruice. Be it but to beate the 
 drum whilest that you other on foote do set the game. 
 
 Hyl. I know what will become of you before night by your 
 Nose, Dame. 
 
 Dau. Beware a superficiall eye, long as you liue. Boy. 
 
 At. M"^ Justice, when sett wee forward ? 
 
 Christ. Now, Sirs. 
 
 Dau. Festina lente, Suluicolcs prceeante et rustica Nutnina 
 Fauni. 
 
120 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyl. A Song, before wee part, Sir, yet. 
 Christ. With my whole Hearte, to boote, my Heartes, Selah, 
 Mad Gentlemen all, Selah Hoa. 
 
 The Second Song. 
 
 i. 
 
 On a day. 
 On a way, 
 Diana met with Cupid, 
 Doe you see, 
 ■ Nymphes, sayd she, 
 
 Feirce Loue goes yonder blindid, 
 
 % 
 
 Take the Ape, 
 Or he Scape, 
 , And bind him sure in fetters. 
 
 Hold a groate, 
 Hee'l be taught. 
 To meddle with his betters, 
 
 3. 
 
 Instantly, 
 
 Him they tye, 
 And breecht him sound with Rishes 
 
 Pardon mee. 
 
 Ah sayd hee. 
 Til neuer wound your Goddisse. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 121 
 
 4. 
 Hauing sworne, 
 ; Hereupon, 
 
 The God the Nymphes vnbindid, 
 Diana, 
 
 Since that day 
 Was neuer shot by Cupid. 
 
 ACT II SCEN 3. 
 
 Florida Learchus. 
 
 Flo. Learchus, shall I neuer be exempt ? 
 Of thy Impor'nate suite, But lyke a Boate 
 Compact of ioined Junks and Indian reede 
 Tosse eury way with tempest of thy Plaint ? 
 
 Lear. And why ? my dearest Florida, and why ? 
 More diligent the Haulk not beene to watch 
 His Praye, then I haue beene to watch a Tyme 
 To recapitulate and to bring 
 Ingathered accounts vnto thy censure 
 Th' Infinity of my suite, And, Florida, ' 
 Yet no Recompense I may perceiue spring 
 From weU-heade of my hope, Then Sweet my deare, 
 I charge thee by the Gods and Men thou wouldst but 
 Or set on shoare, or cast mee off to Sea now. 
 
 Flo. Then thinkest thou, Learchus, to obteyne 
 Or Loue or fauoxu: at my hand and come 
 with that Hostilitye vpon our soyle ? 
 Sooner shall the Motors of the Sphaeres retort 
 
 R 
 
128 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Their wheeling circles Retrograde, then Florida 
 wiU yeild the genune of her virginity 
 vnto the Pleasure of a loathed Foe. 
 
 Lear. Madame, I do confesse wee haue beene bold 
 T' haue come by vertue of Commission 
 Vpon your Park and on your Pastourage, 
 But how vnwilling, and with what Hearte-breake 
 Learchus went with them in companie 
 These euerlasting lampes of Heauen do know. 
 
 Flo. It is an Antique Sawe, you may not force 
 The Horse to raugh, vnles he please, his draught 
 Nor a Camell loade with Indian drugges 
 Opprest to rise lesse you ease him of the loade. 
 And you, who might haue forced you thus to come 
 With Runnegates vpon our soyle and haue 
 Such propper stumps to beare yoiu* Trunk away. 
 And therefore. Faery, take you this for Paye, 
 The Gander caught with other Fowles of Praye 
 Made vp for companie the Fowlers Praye. 
 
 Lear. O bitter sop vnto a woe-begone, 
 O sowrest Pill of Tart Acrimonye, 
 
 all the Scummes of Magick Tempraments, 
 If that the world were saught and I were he 
 Inioind by Cytherasaes doome to search 
 
 A Perfect butcher for an Amoiirist, 
 For the whole vast of this circimiference 
 
 1 would not moue one Jote I sweare from hence. 
 Flo. I see I shall neuer be rid of thee, 
 
 But thus still to be torment with thy suite. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 128 
 
 Lear. Who's he ? that sees a gallant Soule in th' Abe, 
 But would desire to heare him speake. Who's he ? 
 That knowes a pretious cup I weene hut would 
 Be glad therein to dip ? Who's he ? that spies 
 A gentle Doue in compasse of his yarde 
 And would not 'tice him in ? Then, Florida, 
 Certes, since this thou beest and more then this 
 Why should I not entreate thee with a kisse ? 
 
 F2o. If force? what Remedye. Then know, Learchus 
 Hypsiphyle holdeth so strick a watch 
 Ouer mee and ouer my Sisters, That 
 Now there is no place to fuUfiU thy wish, 
 Then, sweet Learchus, staye till th' Elues be gone 
 To rest. And then (Lear.) Nay but now sweet Florida. 
 
 Flo. Now ? Sir. The Sim, loe, beates vpon our crowns, 
 Th' Adders peere about the grasse, The Noon-tyde 
 Arrowe flyes, And all things els conspire 
 To Thwart and crosse your heddy enterprise. 
 
 Lear. If all the world were saught, and all things 
 In him conteynd were vp to hinder mee 
 I would not let but venture as I may. 
 
 Flo. Come on your way, neede will driue the Toughest 
 Cart I see. But behold the Bushes moue 
 My Lady is at hand, For gods sake, Sir, 
 Hide you in this well and preuent the worst. 
 
 Lear. Say you ? my Lady is at hand ? (Flo.) Beleeue 
 It, she will take vs in the Fact. (Lear.) oh oh. 
 Oh then thourough F5n:e and Flood to ease thee. 
 
 Flo. I'll in and see, and turne to you againe. 
 
124 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Lear. Vpon so sure a vowe loe down I gee. 
 him down ^^' ^ thank you, Sir, Hurt not your self I praye* 
 Se pSiyJ. ^° ^^1% ^^s* you there till I release you. 
 Now, Florida, aduaunce thy victor steede 
 And with a Magnanimity resembling 
 That quondam Roman Ostager 
 Breake through this Tyde of Importunity. 
 For was it not my virgin Doue ? Gainst which 
 Bending as many darts as whilom forct 
 Greate Regulus against the Beast of Tyre 
 He aymed at with that alacrity ? 
 Wast not that wax ? Far chaster than ones Mouth, 
 Of my virginitye ? he thought t' haue stampt 
 His seale vpon and so t' haue borne the Floure 
 Of mee by Priuiledge of the Charter ? 
 Then Prayse to Joue, and to that virgin Queene 
 Dread Mistris of our woodes, For they not beene. 
 For all those Nurtures of thy tender youth. 
 For all th' Examples of thy God-lyke Peeres, 
 The vipers treates had shakt thy Constancy, 
 And therefore vowe vnto their shrynes aduaunce 
 Of armed Maydes, a Deede of waxen Brond 
 From hand to hand, withall a Compitall, 
 As a Thank-offer for my deUu'rye. 
 For now I shall vnto my Sisters vaunt it 
 My Loue did brush vp his Mustach and want it. 
 But, Florida, stint thy strife, the day growes old. 
 And weary Phaebus turnes his Teeme now home. 
 Thou must make here the vauntlay to the Deere 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 125 
 
 According Hypsiphyle her bidding, 
 
 So keepe him from the Brooke he do not proffer. 
 
 So, Learchus, I bid you now Adieu, 
 
 And therwith mee do recommend to you. 
 
 ACT II SCEN 4. 
 
 * Pious Camilla. * Takes 
 
 hold of her 
 Pic. Staye, my Camilla, Albeit thou beest so " sheflyes. 
 
 Eger on the Deere, Staye, and lend an eare 
 
 Vnto a Misers case (Cam.) Away, I say, 
 
 The vauntlay is already layne and I 
 
 Must be at downfall of the Deere, Away, 
 
 And let not light Camilla of her way. 
 
 Pic. The game is not so Scant in Elue and Scarce 
 But that thou mayst strike himdreth Harts yet 
 Before the western Sun, But for the Hearte 
 Of Picus ner'e againe his lyke (Cam.) Stand off, 
 Or I will hit thee with my bowe (Pic. J The Bowe 
 Of Dian neuer went with half that force 
 Into the Niunbles of a wounded Deere 
 As thyne, Camilla, to the Hearte of Picus. 
 
 Cam. Wouldst haue mee do? (Pic.) As from thy eyes 
 thou lentst 
 The sore, wouldst thy self t' apply the Cauter. 
 Then lyke Telephus of Myse to resound 
 One speare gaue the Salue one speare gaue the wound. 
 
 Cam. Picus, The darts Camillas eyes do hurle 
 Be euer Pestilent vnto that Man 
 
126 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Dareth depriue her of her flowre, Then 
 According what reason or consequence 
 Should they lyke Telephus or still or kill ? 
 
 Pic. The Flyes, they say Cantharides euen as 
 Within their corps circumference they beare 
 A deadly Poyson, so do they carry 
 A Cordiall Medcine in their wing, A Fish 
 Sea Pastinaca hight, as good he is 
 For wholesome Nourishment of man, so 
 In closet of his Tayle he conteyneth 
 A dire and mortall sting, Then why, Camilla, 
 As from thy eyes thou dartest scalding Bolts 
 Hable to make fell Tyraimts hide their heds. 
 From some where els thou shouldest not deliuer 
 An equall sluce of wanes to quench the same ! 
 
 Cam. Lou'st mee, Picus, and thou sayst ? say (Pic.) Madame, 
 By this eternall Beame I vowe I do 
 And none besyde, in Eluida, but you. 
 
 Cam. Then Seruaunt (For so now I will call you) 
 Doe but include in hollowe of this oake. 
 And when I haue blowne to the Deere his death 
 (For so my Lady chargd on her displeasure) 
 I will retume (Pic.) I do obeye (Cam.) Then Come. 
 
 Pic. Camilla, Camilla, my Camilla. 
 
 Cam. What makes my seruaunt with that vehence 
 To recall his Camilla so (Pic.) Thou hast 
 Inclosed mee, o Camilla, among 
 A Sort of Bees, whose merciles stings do prick 
 Mee to the quick (Cam.) Alas deare Hearte, (Pic.) And with 
 
OR FORltEST OF ELUES. 127 
 
 Frightful! murmurs do build their circling Nests 
 Within myne eares. (Cam.) O sillie mee begone. 
 
 Pic. Camilla, I do feele the Pangues of death. 
 
 Cam. Speake no more (Pic.) Shift mee some where els 
 {Cam.) Alas 
 I can not, yet if my Teares may seme to 
 Alay the Rigour of thy smart Behold 
 Them shed abundantly (Pic.) Reach mee a bough 
 I may abate their Furyes at the least. 
 
 Cam. I must away, Behold the Deere at Bea, 
 And the whole crewe of Huntresses all, with 
 wind of Home, do now come in to the Fall, 
 I must away, or I shall be shent sure. 
 So sweet, deare Lord Picus, my hfe, my ioye, 
 Tarry you there but till I come to you. 
 
 Pic. Ha, now I see thou art deluded, Pice, 
 Camilla, Camilla, why Camilla ? 
 Ha, gone ? And I left in misery here ? 
 Then Picus burst thou these fetterd Bands oflf 
 Of thy Affliction and with the Tyde 
 Of the Extremity beare thou now down 
 The strong opposed Bulwark of thy woe. 
 O Tyde of woe, o stall of wretchednes, 
 O Pill of Rewe, o Cup of Agonie, 
 O greife, o Pangue, o dire Calamity. 
 See these malicious Elues by God create 
 For pleasant sustenance of man do fix, 
 Lyke vnto a Band of eger Myrmidons, 
 Their biting speares in furrowes of my Flesh, 
 
128 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Behold the Swarme hauing not where lo Ught, 
 
 With Idle windings and with wanton Beas 
 
 Do wast vpon my partched Ups their Tyme 
 
 Till they haue consumed their whole Thyme 
 
 As is to be seene in this point of Tyme, 
 
 And therefore in reuenge loe of the losse 
 
 Vpon you all you cursed womankind 
 
 In Bittemes and in the Spite of Gall 
 
 With Tyde belcht vp from botome of my hearte 
 
 I shed the copious venoume of my ciu-se. 
 
 You race Imperfect, you Sinks of villany. 
 
 You Caterpillers, vipers and Scums of men. 
 
 Tyrants, Channells, I weene you were create 
 
 Vnto the woe of man, For had I beene 
 
 So wise as to haue known my suite had beene 
 
 An empty bladder chased with the wind, 
 
 Rather a barren sand that Fooles do till 
 
 I had Fore now your Treachery preuent. 
 
 But, o, the Phrygian's neuer wise but late. 
 
 And it may Picus set a scale vnto. 
 
 Then since no Remedy there is to wreake 
 
 On their heads auengment fairly expect thou 
 
 The mercy of the Gods, els to finish 
 
 In horrid paine and Anguish of thy doome 
 
 Within this Tortring shop thy Martyrdome. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 129 
 
 ACT II SCEN 5. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Hippolon Running in on winding of Homes from seurall places 
 of the Forrest shoued off with his shoulder the Pin wherewith 
 the oaJce was shute, Then fell down himself wearied to Death, 
 And Picus camefurth the oake. 
 
 Hippolon alone. 
 
 Hipp. How ? here ? and here ? here ? and eury where ? 
 Oh Jupiter. 
 
 ACT II SCEN 6. 
 
 Picus Hippolon. 
 
 Pic. Hippolon ? man, what aylst ? 
 
 Hipp. Oh Lord. But first fetch mee one draught, deare Picus, 
 
 From the well, after I will tell the all. 
 
 Pic. I goe, my Thirst requireth it as yours* * Here he 
 
 pluckt 
 
 O the infernall Goddesse of the deepe, Learchus 
 
 ▼p. 
 
 My Lord Learchus ? Tell vs, Man, who hath 
 
 Degenerated you with water thus ? 
 
 ACT II SCEN 7. 
 
 Learchus Picus Hippolon. 
 
 Lear. You ? who hath put thee in that picle ? Say. 
 Pic. My Lady hath. But you? (Lear.) And myne 
 (Pic.) Behold 
 
130 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hippolon at the finall Periode 
 Requireth water of Releife Also. 
 
 Lear. The Platforme is a Platforme Tripartite, 
 But leade mee to the Man. (Pic.) Loe there he lyes. 
 
 hear. Hippolon, what cheare ? (Hipp.) Lyke to a Man 
 forgone. 
 
 Pic. Sirrha, here, loe, take one draught and refresh thee. 
 
 Hipp. Picus, I thank thee. (Pic.) How dost now? say. 
 (Hipp.) Now 
 But place mee on thee Turues I will relate 
 You all my storye. (hear.) Saye on, wee do heare. 
 
 Hipp, \lying all along.] Scarce had with mounting steedes 
 the Fyrie Sun 
 The Top of Mount Meridian attaynd 
 When in a goodly Thicket with Rowes sett 
 Of verdaunt Elmes and lofty Cedar Trees 
 I tooke by wondrous Fortune and chaunce 
 My Lady Fancia lowe layd on Turff, 
 I hent her fast and would haue obteynd there 
 My longed Fruite, Nay, quoth she, that's no Playe, 
 I meant it at the first. But, loe, not Farr 
 Does rest Hypsiphyle among the Elmes 
 To take refreshment of the day, Then where 
 Thou hearst my Home aduaunce and not delay 
 For in this place I may no longer stay ; 
 I let her goe, eftsoones I hearde her Home 
 To Ring vnto her straggling Hound a Call, 
 I forct my speede to East, the Home was west, 
 I bent my force to west, the Home was East, 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 131 
 
 If to the North I ran, the Sound was South, 
 If to the South the wind was North, so that 
 To contrary Places by forcing mee 
 I haue, behold, vndone myself well nie. 
 
 hear. But was this done with willingnes ? say you. 
 
 Hipp. As willingly I deeme as ere I lou'd her. 
 
 Lear. Hippolon, now rest vntill that I reade 
 For so loath action its worthy Creede, 
 For to vs they haue serud the lyke deede, 
 You broode of vipers, you Sects of Falsitye, 
 
 You howse of horrors, you pits of crueltye, f°^ 
 
 You gulphs and Sinks, you Hells, how shall I lay 
 Just teafmes to compasse in the wall of your 
 Defects ? or where shall I fitt weedes gather 
 To stick you with ? For, women, had you none ? 
 To schoole with rods of your deceit but them ? 
 That were so plaine in louing you ? But them ? 
 That did alway seeke your honour ? If All 
 That be conteynd in this circumference 
 Were saught to Ferret lyke Three deuices 
 The Azurde armes would not enfold their match 
 In all its Points, I washt, he stung. This Tyrde, 
 Yet tis no wonder cartes. For if this Sexe 
 Were Anathomised you should find 
 Within the hollowes of their Breasts to lurk 
 Such falsity, Lyes, and Peruersity, 
 Such Rancour, Malice, and Enenmitye, 
 Such Filth and such Corruption, 
 That Momus who glazed man would here 
 
1S2 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Vnto the woman once discouered 
 Haue peirced thourough eury Tripe and gut, 
 Thourough the Hearte, the vena Caua, 
 Through eury vaine and eury Arterye, 
 
 Pic. Through all the Nerues, the Sinewes and the Muscles, 
 The Lungs, the Panch, the Midriff and the Bladder, 
 Into the Apple and in the chrystalline. 
 The Breast Plate and the rigid weasan-pipe, 
 The Phantazie and the cheast of Memory, 
 Common sence, occiput and Synciput. 
 
 Lear. He would haue beaten their boanes to splinters, 
 He would haue pounded those splinters to Bran, 
 He would haue bolted this Bran to meale. 
 He would haue mixt this Meale with drops. 
 He would haue Kneade these drops to stiffning Dough, 
 He would haue bakt Splinter, Bran, Meale, Drops, Dough, 
 In one consent, In Jawe, of Scortching oue 
 
 Both. To wrest with neere regard and carefuU heede 
 That humour furth and calcind Quintessence 
 Of their Infirmity. (Hipp.) I doe see, Sirs, 
 By sequell of your Tales, as yours to you 
 Haue guerdoned your labours with a Blank 
 So Fancia, to mee hath playd her Prank. 
 
 Pic. Hippolon, trewe, withall do require now 
 To wreake our vengeance as the Facts require. 
 
 Hipp. The splendour of my Loue that whylom was 
 Immaculate as be the Swannes on Poe 
 Vpon your foule reportes is turnd a Crowe, 
 Wherefore, Faeryes, deuise you any Thing 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 138 
 
 And to the same I will subscribe also. 
 
 What is your Plot ? I pray. (Lear.) That's not yet deuisd, 
 
 Yet for a Tast know you, my Lord, I'll walk 
 
 In lykenes of the Keeper Christophel ; 
 
 Pic. I'll Alter kind and in Brown Sapho dwell. 
 
 Hipp. I haue my Plot and Dauid shape for me. 
 
 Lear. Each one into the Furrs, For there they be. 
 
 Pic. Then come your wayes all. Lets seeke them furth all. 
 
 Hipp. Oh. you must beare mee you, For so my Joints 
 Be now benumbd I may not moue one point. 
 
 Pic. Heaue, Learchus. 
 
 The Direction. 
 Here they bore him furth on their shoulders after the old manner 
 of the Matachine on all Fowre with more companie for the 
 cleanlyer Portage, Then mounted he sayd these wordes 
 following. 
 
 Hipp. With Fasminines to Temper, 
 O what a greife it is, o what a Temper. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
 ACT III SCEN 1. 
 The Direction. 
 Hypsiphyle Orion with Huntspeares, And with their followers 
 on either syde, Men and women. The Six Ladyes and 
 Lords omitted. 
 
 Hypsiphyle Orion. 
 
 Hyp. My Lord, well mett, How goes the game with you ? 
 
134 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Or. Nay how, my pretie Dame of chase, with you ? 
 
 Hyp. Su*, I thmk I haue got the wind of you. 
 
 Or. How, I pray you, my dainty virgin, how ? 
 your Ht/P' Did not I, whilst the Dogs did cast behind. 
 
 That they lost of the Hart the sent and wind. 
 With speede make vauntlay to the Deere ? whereby 
 You lost the Aduantage you forespooke of mee ? 
 
 Or. My Hounds were once ouer-haled all, I wusse, 
 No Lawe yet of game so get the vaimt of vs, 
 
 Ht/p. If both were as wise. The one the other 
 Wee should haue at home kissd th' Harts hoofe together. 
 
 Or. You should haue made A lay but in the Nick 
 So might we haue beene Joint winners both each. 
 Whereas now one of vs must tast the Leash. 
 
 Ht/p. Rather you haue made the Relay and sayd. 
 As did that Bitch that came came nine miles behind. 
 Wee dogs haue kild the Hare I see and find. 
 
 Or. Some of my Dogs stale out of Couert whilst 
 I bad Arreare vnto the rest. So that 
 You can obiect no Huntsmans Fault to mee. 
 
 Hi/p. Wast no fault ? Let their Tarrets loose when as 
 You might haue kept them in with staff and voice ? 
 
 Or. If some were Light and knew not to obey 
 You should not the Fault on the Kennel leye. 
 
 Hz/p. You might haue taught your Dogs, all whelpes of 
 kind 
 Tarry whiles their Fellowes couert behind. 
 
 Or. A Kite's a Kite and a Kite will be euer, 
 A Curr's a Curr and a Hound will be neuer. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 135 
 
 Hyp. A Curr's to be wanted with Stone and Bat 
 Whiles generous Hounds be taught beware of that. 
 Or. The vauntlay is by Huntsmen all condemnd, 
 Why should you then your vaimtlay so commed ? 
 
 Hyp. A Fault I hold, be woodmen ne'ere so wise, 
 To let a Hart with speede our Hunt despise. 
 Or. 1st no Fault ? faster forcing him to hie 
 To leese the full crye of the Cast thereby ? 
 
 Hyp. That's as you might not forward aduaunce 
 Vnles you hearde all Mouths pipe to your Daunce. 
 
 Or. Nor you, you might not heare their Musicks voice 
 For because they kept such a yelping noise 
 
 Hyp. Fine Parts do make a whole Consort they say. 
 Better then it is bid the Cast away. 
 
 Or. Though but fine make the Consort, they say. 
 Yet many vnisons make full the Laye. 
 
 Hyp. The vauntlay to the Hart I did but offer 
 To keepe him from the Brake he might not proffer. 
 
 Or. The vaunt so you layd him that in the wind 
 He with more speede left vaunt and Cast behind. 
 
 Hyp. Why stand wee thus debating on the Cast? 
 Whilst as you see away the day doth hast. 
 
 Or. I sweare no Tyme past yet, my Lady deare. 
 But that wee may vnlodge whole Heardes of Deere. 
 
 Hyp. Come on your ways, before the Sun be down 
 I will cause you say I haue wun the Crown. 
 
 Or. Done, Lady, done, I hope ere Sun be down 
 To cause you too to say that I haue wun. 
 
136 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyp. Where be my virgins all ? I stand on Thome 
 Vntill this chase be set on foote with Home. 
 
 Or. Make speede, my deare, with all the speede you can, 
 I will be with you yet to bring by Pan. 
 
 Hyp. Virgin in Heaven aboue, and in Hell's shade, 
 Deha, come with speede and helpe thy Mayde. 
 
 • syuus *ACT n SCEN 2. 
 
 hauing 
 
 stolen furth tt xt 
 
 thechase HUNTER HUNTRESSE. 
 
 his Leman. 
 
 Hunt. Now, lusty Leman as I sayd befome 
 
 Quick begin wee the Thing for which wee come. 
 
 Huntr. Then here sett wee vp our Turnaments, Leape-vp 
 And you that giue the challenge first leape up. 
 
 Hunt. Loe thus my Carreere I do straite begin. 
 
 •Armein Huntr. Loe thus my Buckler I hold furth to him* 
 ume. 
 
 Hunt. Brighter then be the Portailes of the Sim 
 
 My virgins eyes vpon my eyes haue shone. 
 
 Huntr. Lyke vnto the charming Songs of Ligia 
 Thy wounding woordes haue stricken Syluia. 
 
 Hunt. What higher kingdome may my Soule aspire 
 Then to be quickend by my SyUuaes Fyre ? 
 ••Shekist, Huntr. Loe this sweete dewe I rayne to coole your heate* 
 
 He smackt 
 
 double. Hunti I hurle these shafts, sit sure and keepe your seate* 
 
 Huntr. Nay, Syluius, of Courage spare one ounce 
 Least all your Blondring Bolts be spent at once. 
 Hunt. Lyke Porpentine I neuer voyd my quiuer. 
 Huntr. If you take not good heede your Launce may shiuer. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 137 
 
 Hunt. That sayd dewe of thyne may the splits recouer.* 
 
 Huntr. Nay then, Sir Syluius, wee shall ne're giue ouer. 
 
 Hunt. Bellum is sayd being nor good nor faire. 
 But our warr, Syluia, is both faire and rare. 
 
 Huntr. If Cupids warr be such a iolly thing 
 Why made it wretched Troye such Najniaes sing ? 
 
 Hunt. Because they their warr in the feild did moue, 
 But our is in a priuate Tent of Loue. 
 
 Huntr. What so enuious chaunce may then Maligne 
 Our Aduerse Toyles in one wee not combine ? 
 
 Hunt. Then come, my Syluia, wind thyne armes in myne. 
 
 Huntr. So Mars with Venus do in Lynks entwyne. 
 
 Hunt. Once againe this Amourous shaft I giue thee.* 
 
 Huntr. Most strongly shot and rightly hit beleeue me. 
 
 Hunt. Since you commend my Archery so high 
 Loe you another shott as Masterlye.* 
 
 Huntr. A Truce, good Sir, For as our Poet seyd it. 
 Si nunquam cessas tendere mollis erit. 
 
 Hunt. Here in thy lap, Syluia, I'll lay along. 
 
 Huntr. While vnto my Loue I shall sing the Song. 
 
 Hunt. My choicest faire Doe and my Deare come on. 
 
 • He kist 
 her. 
 
 • Kist with 
 a Smack. 
 
 * Smakt 
 againe. 
 
 The Third Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 Forward hie wee with Pace and Trot, 
 Before wee shall, by the Hind Cast, 
 After with Bowe the Buck be shot. 
 Be at the Fall when tli Hunt is past 
 
 T 
 
138 THE FAERY PASTORALL^ 
 
 2. 
 A leash will then be our Reward, 
 Els nothing, wee do vs assure. 
 Now let vs not lagge, in the Here ward. 
 But onward the Pace withfoote sure. 
 
 3. 
 
 Before the Boasted Buck be down. 
 
 If wee in Place together be, 
 
 giue wee Chaunce wee may giue the Keeper soone 
 
 may. 
 
 A blast of the Home for his Fee. 
 
 ACT III SCEN 3. 
 
 Christophel Atys Hylas Sapho Salomon with an old get- 
 terne playing and walking before them. 
 
 Christ. Come on, Mad wench, thy way. 
 
 Saph. Where left you M"^ Schoole master ? Prey. 
 ^ At. On Top of a Nut Tree, Sapho. 
 
 Saph, There let him be. 
 
 Hyl. Gloria in Excelsis. 
 
 At. And haue singeld thee furth to make thee Doe, Sapho. 
 
 Saph. Wey, Atys. 
 
 At. Thou speakest lyke a Chambermayd, that minceth com- 
 fits. Fall into the whole handfull, wench, and say. Corpus 
 solidum Sued plenum, Flos ipse. 
 
 Christ. Bos ipsa. 
 
 Hyl. Sweet Brown Sapho, Shall wee Three Tabour and 
 Pipe vpon thy Bum now ? 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 139 
 
 Soph. I am assured you may not at once so doe. 
 Christ. If I but get one Snatch at thy Haunch I shall not 
 care for more. 
 
 Hyl. Thou knowest the Schoole-master Snorteth at high 
 Noone voydeth the Salt Rheume by a stalk of Rose-mary, ouer 
 and aboue that he coruetteth in his sleepe. 
 
 Saph. Do you think ? I come so near his wind ? Hoa. 
 
 At. Tell vs in good Sooth. 
 
 Saph. Why not in good North. 
 
 At. How lykest thou thy Pursuyuants ? 
 
 Saph. Once I serued a Purseuaunt such a Trick, as the Lord 
 forgiue mee for it, I shall remember it while I breathe. 
 
 At. How? Iprithy, how? 
 
 Saph. Being come with a citation from the Bishop. 
 
 Hyl. A Stunner, Foole. 
 
 Saph. Puu. 
 
 At. Art curtalld ? Sapho. 
 
 Saph. My Tale is ended, therefore not Curtald. 
 
 Hyl. Wordes do signifye nothing of themselues, Therefore 
 you may take these two wordes now vnder one and self sence 
 and mark, Sumner or Purseuaunt, Purseuaunt or Sumner. 
 
 Saph. Come with his citation, M"^ Schoolemaster inuited him 
 to contract of two his seruaunts, I and one Hodge. 
 
 Christ. Hither I do smell thee, Sapho, vnder the cullour he 
 maintaineth thee his whoore. 
 
 Saph. Eftsoones wee came furth the vestry all. The Parson of 
 the Town in his white and cleane scoured Surplis, M"^ Shoole- 
 master my Father in his spruce Batchlours Habit, Tudon the 
 Tabourer with his Taboiir and Pipe, Hodge and I in our 
 
140 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Holiday clothes. Contract being ended, vnder cullour of giv- 
 ing, according to the Fashion of our Faery weddings, superficiall 
 Flirts the one to the other, wee so soused the Sumner with Iron 
 held. Gauntlets, wee kept hid in our sleeues, he bespattered the whole 
 
 Flo ore with his goare all, lyke vnto a crowned oxe of the 
 Mast. I do loe here protest it vnto you all, deare Gentlemen 
 myne. 
 Hyl. I troe, thoult not vse vs so, Sapho. 
 Soph. No, I assure you. 
 
 At. Wilt to Lodge with vs ? i 
 
 Saph. I dare not. 
 Hyl. I'll giue thee a Belt. 
 Saph. I care not. 
 
 At. I'll buy thee a Kirtle. ;! 
 
 Saph. And spare not. 
 Hyl. What sayst to a better face ? 
 Saph. I nill it. 
 
 At. How to a spoonefull of witt. 
 Saph. You spill it. 
 
 Christ. How answerst, wench, to a full and well-weighed 
 Pownd of Faery Butter ? Say. 
 
 Saph. Ridde but the Philosopher haue with you straite. 
 Christ. Let mee alone with him. Salomon. 
 SaL^vc^ 
 
 Christ. I neede not say what a Bugge thy Master is. 
 Sal. What sayes your good worship to mee ? 
 Christ. If wilt be ruld by vs, wee will teach thee a Trick shall 
 humble both homes of him in one deuice now. 
 Sal. Saye your mind. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 141 
 
 Christ. Peepe but fiirth that hole in shape of some ifl- 
 fauourd Beast, The Rest wee will doe it our selues. 
 
 Sal. Will not our Master perceiue it ? think you. 
 
 Christ. No, I warrant thee. 
 
 Sal. Goe to, I will procure mee a peice of Caruisse shall fit 
 him so. 
 
 Christ. 'Tis good about it thou. 
 
 At. Brown Sapho shall wee haue thee now ? 
 
 Saph. You would Riddle me my Riddle you shall, otherwise 
 you would not molest mee more. 
 
 At. Be it so, Conditionally, in lyke case, thou tellest not ours, 
 thou wilt be Packsaddle vnto Three. 
 
 Saph. Begin. 
 
 At. Riddle mee Riddle mee what is this. Stiff standing. 
 Rough Hanging, Betweene a Maydens legges, in a frosty 
 Morning. 
 
 Hyl. I know from whence thou haddest that Riddle, Atys. 
 
 At. Vide locum. 
 
 Saph. It is a distaff with his Flax about him. 
 
 Hyl. She has flung the Saddle, See. 
 
 At. Burguinon neuer bitted Button better. 
 
 Christ. Nor thou Tumbler the eye of a Needle verily. 
 
 Saph. Now reade you mee. 
 
 Hyl. Thou shalt be rid. 
 
 Saph. A creature tis. 
 And Part I wisse. 
 Has bed nor Tayle, 
 Yet sucks the Male, 
 
 Dissolue the Knot, '! 
 
 And haue him not. 
 
14« THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Christ. Zounds it is a Sucking Rabbit, Sapho. 
 
 Hyl. Oedypus would not haue vndone the knot. 
 
 At. Rather would the Knaue haue done forth his eyes. 
 
 Hyl. Now, Sapho, ride thou mee. 
 
 Saph. Come on. 
 
 Hyl. What's that that is neither Rime nor Reason and is 
 Rime and Reason. 
 
 Saph. I know not^ 
 
 At. Nor I. 
 
 Hyl. I will giue thee till tomorrow Sapho. 
 
 At. Michehnas. 
 
 Christ. I found mee not to haue beene Ignoraunt vntill this 
 present howre, Gentlemen myne. 
 
 At. Thoult not yet fling the Butter in our faces? Sapho. 
 
 Saph. I am not so rude a Huswife, Gentlemen. 
 
 At. For the rest let vs alone with it. 
 
 Saph. A Song yet before wee trusse vp, Hoa. 
 
 Christ. Begin you. 
 
 The Fourth Song. 
 
 1. 
 
 In the Month of May 
 One day I did see 
 Vnder a Tree 
 Two striuingfor Marcida. 
 
 2. 
 
 TK one gaue her a Cake, 
 TJie other a cheese, 
 
 Mayde which of these 
 Sayd they, dost thou better take ? 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 143 
 
 3. 
 
 When a country Groome, 
 Drawing close and nie 
 
 A Pudding Pie, 
 With him, sayd shee, hie I home^ 
 
 ACT III SCEN 4. 
 
 Sir Dauid alone, cracking Nuts. 
 
 Dau. So ho. So ho, where be my Leash of noble Hookers 
 bestowed, Troe wee, Troe wee? I think they be fal'n by this 
 welkin, by whom I shall be sau'd now, into some Bogge, For by 
 S' Anne I haue known, in my dayes the lyke case to haue hap- 
 pend, by concopulating, Sub audiendum est, by concopulatiwg, so 
 that I can not now chuse but thus hallow after them, they be so 
 farr enterd into my Ematriculate Booke Perdy ; But Ho, Vnica 
 Nux prodest nocet altera (Nux) Tertia Mors est, Vmph, More- ^^ 
 ouer in Summe and in the Synopsis of the Account Vina Venus 
 nuces faciunt corrumpere voces. Wei. If I were but to institute a 
 Cathedrall, I would make it Expulsion but for one to kisse a 
 wench or but for one to eate one sole Nut, For loe you now how 
 the Arraunt Calf does so grate the Crotchet vpon the Tooth of 
 man. Now as I do remember Cock and Hen went once a nut- 
 ting when Cock climing a Nut Three Hen stayd belowe to 
 gather, Fuck, quoth the Cock, Duck, quoth the Hen, when one 
 small Nut lighting on her little No Land, This Hen assured her 
 Chuck that the whole world was then falln on her. Tut, sayd 
 the Cock, But, sayd the Hen, Butted she so long, that the 
 Cock descrying, on the sudden, a full and bouncing showre of 
 
144 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hayle comming toward him, was in huge and bodily Feare least 
 the whole Neast of the stars would instantly haue founderd all 
 and whole vpon him, wherevpon he bad his sweet Duck Incon- 
 tinently Tnisse the whole waUet and home to be Jogging, So, I 
 least the same chaunce should now befall mee (For what can I 
 tell what omnipotent Fortune praetendeth by this Diuision or 
 Schisme of vs) I wiD instantly loe stretch my gosier, wide as euer 
 I haue him, to my Ayde, and crye (who if they come not at the 
 call the Pox goe with them all) lowde as euer I may. So ho. So 
 ho, ho ho ho. Hallow, whoope. 
 
 ACT m SCEN 5. 
 
 Oberon Chloris stickt with Flowres all her body. 
 
 Ob. Why tell mee. Sweet Chloris, Is it possible ? that a man 
 shoidd be of a Hearte so stiff and so obturate that he shall not 
 once be able to counteruayle a silly woman in the affection of 
 her Loue ? As last night thou may'taynedst it against mee. Ha. 
 
 Chlo. What be men, my Lord Oberon, But Bubbles puft 
 with the Aire, Soone begotten and soone crackt into wind, wee 
 women, lyke to Constant Rocks of Adamant can withstand the 
 Puisant and boisterous Assaults of Inconstancy in Loue, what- 
 soeuer, nay Howsoeuer, and whensoeuer I assure you verily 
 better then you can. 
 
 Ob. Then is it in vs nothing to haue bloods and Faculties 
 more firme and stronger then you haue, yet that wee should be 
 such abiect veselles wee should not once be able to resist that 
 weake and feeble Imperfection of Inconstancy in Loue better 
 then you ? Saye. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 145 
 
 Chlo. Constancy, my Lord Oberon, consisteth together and 
 alone in Closet of the Soule, Now Although some of our Ad- 
 uersaryes do affirme against vs that women haue no soiJes in 
 them at all, yet if the cause be euer to be tryed by its effect. 
 Then I say wee women shall she we better and greater Proofs of 
 the Soule in vs then you can, So by consequence the greater 
 Constancye in our Loue. 
 
 Ob. I will put it to the Arbitriment of Jupiter himself whi- 
 ther of the Two hath the greater Affection in Loue, thou or I, 
 So whither of the Two hath the Perfecter Soule. 
 
 Chlo. By Jupiter! The Lord haue mercy on vs all, I think 
 the Man hath eaten Mandrakes, he speaketh so confidently of 
 his confirmation of Affection of Loue in man but new now 
 created in him certes. 
 
 Ob. I do assure you, Sweet, and speake it too by Prophesye, 
 There is a Man now comming toward vs who shall euidently 
 make it appeare. By a Miracle of myne own too, that my saying 
 is trewe, and that you women haue not all the Type of Affec- 
 tion of Loue in you, as you say you haue. But wee men haue an 
 equall share of Loue with you remayning in our selues also. 
 
 Chlo. What might this blessed Miracle be ? Troe. 
 
 Ob. And that my augury may verifie the Truth of my saying 
 to you, now euen now beleeue mee Three be comming toward 
 vs, Three for Tryall of the same. 
 
 Chlo. Then sitt wee asyde and laugh at the Jigge. 
 
 Ob. So doe, and laugh at the Euent when so you see it 
 happens. Goe to. But loe, they be all vpon vs now. Come 
 on, old man, Hast any Tydings Impart to vs ? Saye. 
 
146 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 ACT m SCEN 6. 
 The Direction. 
 
 Mercury passing ouer the stage and wafting his Caducaus, 
 enter d Tyresias blind, led by Manto his daughter andfol- 
 lowd by Mopsus his Sonne. 
 
 TiREsiAs Oberon Chloris. 
 
 Tir. I haue, my Lord, I old Tiresias once trewe Prophet of 
 Thebes, now bUnd Seer of Hell, come from Jupiter, a Trewe 
 suppUaunt to your Maiesty, now but from Pluto his Court, 
 wafted hither by the sacred wand of Mercury the Guide. 
 
 Ob. Who be these your followers ? saye. 
 
 Tir. The one of them is Mopsus my Sonne, the other Manto 
 ray daughter. 
 ,rrOb. Say your mind. 
 
 Tir, Once, on a Tyme, Jupiter and Juno being ouergone in 
 wyne they were disposed to be merry the one with the other, 
 For their Recreation. Jupiter would needes maintayne against 
 his wife that men bore the greater Affection in Loue the did 
 the yrovaem, Juno mayntayned the contrary against him that 
 women bore the greater Affection then did the Men. So long 
 they contended they were ready fall to blowes, when Jupiter 
 wiser of the Two (For he had a hed more strong andfirme then 
 had his wife to beare his wyne, as he who but httle before had 
 carryed an Armed Mayde in his brayne) sayd, nay, wife, rather 
 then that thou scratch furth myne eyes by the bargaine, I 
 prithy let vs put the deciding of the controuersy to that old 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 147 
 
 Prophet of Thebes Tiresias by name who hath tryed both 
 Sexes, they say ; Be it so, sayd Juno, let the Man be Inconti- 
 nently sent for. I being come before their Maiesties according 
 my slender skill gaue sentence on Jupiter his syde, For the 
 which Juno was so wroth and cholerick at mee then, she beate 
 furth my eyen both yea both the Twayne of them (verily and 
 right well now I do it weene) euen furth in a rage, I in good 
 Sooth my good Lord. Jupiter to make mee amends for losse 
 of my eyes Imparte to mee the gift of Prophesye ; so lining in 
 darknes, many succeeding Age after, It came at last (after my 
 decease I weet) into their mindes to restore to mee my Sight, 
 But with condition I should appeale to a man, who for his wis- 
 dome and for his Experience had more skill in the case then I 
 had. And who but by touching myne eyes with a wand should 
 in confirmation of this Right restore to mee my Sight. Now if 
 many memoryes be (as the Philosophers affirme) the Mother of 
 Experience, And that experience is the Mistris of all Arts and 
 Sciences that be conteyned vnder this vniversall Globe, To 
 whom should I addresse myself, thought I, then to your long- 
 liud Maiesty, who now King of the Faeryes (Lyke to the Hus- 
 band of Aurora) as you haue now lined from Juhus your Father 
 to this now present Moment, So our hopes be you shall protract 
 the same yeares to an hundreth and hundreth Generations yet 
 to come more. And to whom, Behold I haue now Adressed 
 my humble and most Importunate Petition concerning my whole 
 estate, And the which so doing I do not doubt but that I shall 
 recouer my vnlucky and forfaited sight once more, which the 
 Gods graunt mee, I beseech them all, for their mercyes cause. 
 Dixi. 
 
U8 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Ob. Most Pretie, Cum remini obtrudi potest itur ad me, when 
 the Gods cannot decide the Controuersy, I must. But to the 
 Buisinesse wee haue in hand. First, for the better vnwinding 
 the Knot that wee are now to vntwyne, First, you are to vnder- 
 stand, that if at any tyme it so hap that a woman doth surmount 
 a man in the vehemency of her Loue, The Man then not answer- 
 ing the woman with the lyke Affection, then I say that Loue 
 cannot be called Loue, but rather a sudden Impotency in Na- 
 ture, For Amicitia est inter Pares say the Philosophers, Trew 
 freindship is not to be scene but betweene equalls. Againe 
 whereas the sayd Philosophers affirme that Mains lumen obfus- 
 cat minus lumen, The greater Light doth dim the lesser light, 
 If lykewise the Man be to whot and chalcrously bent toward the 
 woman and the woman be but cold and feeble in complexion to- 
 ward the man, that Loue can not be Loue neither but the 
 Embryon or the vnperfect Mushrome of Loue (If the daunce 
 agree not with the Musick, nor the Musick agree with the 
 daunce, there then will be there neither daunce nor Musick I 
 am persuaded). Thirdly, if trew it be that Diuines do affirme 
 the woman to be borne of mans boane and flesh of mans Flesh, 
 Also that Man and Woman be both of them but one boane 
 and one Flesh, So both one and the same in one and same sub- 
 stance. And that contraria nonpossunt cohcerere in vno et eodem 
 subiecto simul, Contraryes may not abide in one and same 
 subiect together at one and self tyme. Then I do most per- 
 emptorily enforce my Argument and do affirme, that the one 
 louing and the other not louing, or the one being but in Loue, 
 the other vnaequall in her Loue, there cannot then be there 
 abiding any the least Essence of Loue, But rather a totaller 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 149 
 
 voyd vacuum or vacuity of Loue in both the T\Vo. So finally 
 
 giue in my verdict, that a woman can not beare greater affection 
 
 to the man, than can a Man beare to the woman, nor a map a 
 
 greater affection the woman then can the woman beare to the 
 
 Man, But that both of them equally and Indifferently to haue 
 
 both of them. I say, their equall and indifferent shares of Loue 
 
 in any one kind of their Loues, if it be Loue. So Jupiter if I 
 
 haue spoken right, restore to this blind man by mee his sight.* fHetoucht 
 
 Tir. Blest be that hand hath giu'n mee second Ught. withButt- 
 
 ® ° end of his 
 
 Ob. O how Excellent is the powre of mighty Joue. wand. 
 
 Tir. But I must away, Mercury wafte mee back, So Prayse 
 
 and thank to good King Oberon. 
 
 Ob. My lyke Adieu, to thee, my good old man. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Mercury entring by the Midde doore wafted them back by the 
 doore they came in. 
 
 Chlo. This hath gone hard against mee, my Lord, nor may I 
 now well reuoake it, since it is so fully and trewly confirmed 
 against mee by Miracle, But what doth your Maiestie heare of 
 my Lord orion ? Is he in health or hath he obteyned the vic- 
 tory he went about ? 
 
 Ob. Trust mee, Madame, I haue not hearde any thing of him 
 since his departure from Court. But my hope is he shall 
 praeuayle, so deepe is his wisdome in Sciences, And so Excellent 
 his high skill in woodmanship. But I hope thou and I be not 
 yet in strife about the victory ? 
 
 Chlo. No in perfect sadnes am I, my Lord Oberon. 
 
150 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Ofi. Then let vs kisse, and confinne it therewith. 
 Chlo. Yes, in good Faith, my Lord, be it so. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 1. 
 
 Florida with a Leash about her neck, 
 
 Flo. I Troe, since lawe of game was first inuent. 
 Or Himtsman hath vncouppeld Hound there hath 
 Not beene, in all that stoure, perfourmed light 
 A nobler chase then this. No sooner were 
 The Dogs let loose and that the groomes had ciyen 
 A Trayle a Trayle, when loe th' odorant force 
 Thickend lyke to leaues in Sagittary 
 Rusht into feild with might and mayne, So ho 
 Amayne, they cryde. List a Ringwood, list, list. 
 So ho againe, you noble Currs, So ho. 
 When eftsoones lighting on the greedy sent 
 The whooresonnes spent a good, Tat Tat againe, 
 Ho againe, assayne, assayne, when rushing 
 Int 'open plaine they opend three such keyes 
 Of Nete combind. Diapason, Meane 
 That the whole quire of Heauens Hierarchy 
 Could not conforme their lyke, Then in chace 
 With Greyhounds according my Ladyes bidding 
 I made the Alay to the Deere, when, loe. 
 He got vnto a Tree, Long there the Bea 
 Betweene the egar Mouthed Currs and him. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 151 
 
 Ringwood made at hed, Lady Snatcht a haunch. 
 Light-foot the syde afore, Talbot the other. 
 That with th' Anguish th' Hearties Hart beset 
 On all his sydes with th' horror of his Death 
 From eyes shed teares on ground abundaimtly, 
 But what ? the Merc'les Currs were so enflesht 
 Vpon the life of him, for all his treates 
 For all his Fbuntaines spent, For all his bent 
 Of Humble Knee they would not stint but teare 
 The suppUaunt Soule with launcets of their Teeth, 
 ffither my Lady aduaunct her steede. Hither, 
 Perceiuing far the Boasted Buck at Bea, 
 Came in the totall crewe of Huntresses 
 With wind of Home, at one the Cast besyde 
 With open Mouths, when straite Hypsiphyle 
 Moued with compassion on the Beast 
 In tender loue and in heroic spirit 
 Picked furth her quiuer her best of shafts. 
 And in a trice wound tli' Hearties Hart to death, 
 So all with lusty Peale wee blewe his Death. 
 But, Ibe, so faint I am I caii no more. 
 And Toung claues too to Pallate of my Mouth, 
 Arid therefore in Triumphe of this dayes sport 
 I will will vnto the well, withall in one 
 Release Learchus and refresh myself. 
 But is not this the Keeper Christophel ? 
 I will preuent him in saluting first. 
 Christophel, good day, Sawst any my sisters 
 Pursewing the emboasted DiBere this way ? 
 
m THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 2. 
 
 * In lyknes 
 
 ofChristo- *LeaRCHUS FloRIDA. 
 
 pheU. 
 
 Lear. Not any thy faire Sisters I haue scene 
 Pursewing the emboasted Deere this way. 
 
 Flo. Nor any Hound straggling from his Fellow ? 
 
 Lear. Madame, not any. (Flo.) Helpe, I prithy now 
 I drawe the Bucket may refresh mee. 
 
 Lear. God sheild, faire Madame, and my Lodge so nie. 
 If your Ladiship vouchsafe accept of it 
 You may Commaund a Cup of Sunmier Beere. 
 
 Flo. Sir, I thank you. Point me to your Lodge but. 
 
 Lear. The Brick you see. (Flo.) what hast done me ? Sirrha, 
 Hast shutt mee into a kiln new furth. 
 
 Lear. Trewe, Madame, withall behold Learchus 
 Now stands Triumphing ouer you too. (Flo.) If 
 Thou hast beguiled mee, Learchus, I 
 Sewe thou wouldst release mee. (Lear.) Then beshrewe mee. 
 
 Flo. Speake once againe, I pray. (Lear.) Nay in sadnes nay. 
 
 Flo. Giue mee my finall doome. (Lear.) In good sooth Nay. 
 
 FU). Floride, Ha, then a Plague, I see, was here 
 In store, for thee, layd long. (Lear.) Ha ha. (Flo.) for wast 
 Not this Learchus ? whom I did that spite 
 To make him to stand to the chin so long 
 In yonder Fount ? wast not this Learchus ? 
 Whose Loue I spurned with that hate ? yes. Then. 
 Sweet Learchus, by that Loue thou thou hast bome mee, 
 By all thy Prayers, by all thy Seruices, 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 153 
 
 By all thy vowes, I adlure thee by all 
 Thou wouldest but forgiue and pitie mee. 
 
 hear. No, in Sooth, I say. (Flo) And why ? Learchus. 
 
 licar. Florida, since thou hadst that Hearte to make 
 Mee stand so long in wet as with the same 
 Behold my Sinewes yet be shrunk and numb 
 And hadst that Hearte to guerdon mee with the 
 Extremity of a Schornfull dealing 
 I see no reason why but that thou mayst, 
 Floride, suffer awhile that mod'rate Kiln 
 To purifye your carrian corps of filth 
 And of th' ordure with which it is infect. 
 
 Flo. I haue beene too vnthankfull I confesse, 
 To guerdon thy seruices, and thy meritt. 
 And all thy golden dewtyes with that Scofl^ 
 But, Ha, Learchus, Know the Gods forgiue, 
 As they see cause and Tyme requiring it, 
 The wayd offences of a Poenitent, 
 Then thou, that resemblest them so in shape, 
 vpon th' Aboundant streams of these watry Founts 
 shewe some remorse to an afflicted Mayde. 
 
 hear. If wealth were brought to counteruayle the Sand, 
 If all that Gold that euer Sea conteynd 
 Were spewd by force of wanes into my bosome, 
 I would not yet release or pitie you. 
 
 Flo. Is there no hope of my releasement ? say, 
 But lyke vnto a Lembick drop by drop 
 Shall I consume to Hyle, within this Kiln ? 
 
 hear. Madame, no Remedy, therefore content you. 
 
 Flo, yet allowe mee one drop to coole my Toung. 
 
 X 
 
154 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Lear. The Fount long since by mee is drunk and gone. 
 
 Flo. Villaine, Rascall, Rogue, Theife, Tyraunt, Butcher^ 
 
 Lear. Tis not whot but that you may endure it, 
 Then with thy clamour make not you it whotter, 
 For as I see by Tenour of thy Toung 
 There is no coale so whot as a woman's wrong. 
 
 Flo. O woefull doome to silly mee thrown down. 
 
 Lear. So I leaue thee in thy propper kind 
 A faire example for all womankind. 
 
 Flo. Florida, since there is no Remedy 
 and Set greife to Hearte, dispaire, lay down to dye. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 3. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Picus in Saphoes attyrey and in Skin other lyltnes ouer his face, 
 sowing in a Samplar, soft singing to herself Sir Philips Song 
 *inspice (*The Time hath beene etccetj to the tune of Green sleeues, 
 
 voiumtnh^ being but a by-song to this Pastorall, sayd asfollowes. 
 
 folio ibidem 
 
 vacante.f f From the leaf referred to in the Margin. 
 
 Sir Philip Sydneis Song. 
 
 The Tyme hath beene that a Taudry lace 
 Or a Bonnet for my Ladyes grace. 
 A Ring of a Risk or Needles case 
 Would make any Lady to loue mee. 
 But now the world is grown so ritch. 
 They will haue it be it ne'er so mich, 
 Yet by your leaue they will keepe no tich. 
 The which doth not a little moue mee, 
 
 Fye vpon honestie Fye. 
 
 Your heade is full ofjelouzie. 
 
 There is no fault in my Lady 
 
 For to suspect the contrary e. 
 
 Philif Sydnets Kniohi. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 155 
 
 Picus alone. 
 
 Pic. It was a Tyme when gallant Caualleeres 
 To please their Dames abandond Speare and sheild 
 And tooke the Rayle and Rocke, But now's the Tyme 
 Faeryes of former dayes S3ntnplicity 
 Must doflF their kind and habit to be auengd 
 On a Faeryes Treachery ; Hercules 
 Tooke Needle to sowe in his Ladyes Samplar, 
 Picus I, to pricke my Dame a Le9on, 
 Joue Dians shape to obtayne a Goddesse, I 
 A womans to beguile a woman. Now, 
 Mistris Camilla, looke vnto your self, 
 r haue besome, faith, in brine to breetch you with. 
 But what? He that enuironeth a Praye 
 Must waite his Tyme and catch it when he may. 
 Then be thou ready, Picus, with thy wyles. 
 Thy cases, thy vizards and deuices 
 This foreintended Comagdy to Act 
 Now on the stage of her vntowardnes. 
 It was a Fashion among the Romanes 
 To celebrate the Holiday of Risus 
 (When eury Hed did grin and shew the Teeth) 
 With some Ridiculous and notorious Jeast, * 
 
 Now then if Risus be a God as well 
 I do account him, I will so Polish 
 His spleene with the Fyle of a Jeast, that from 
 God Laughter I will make him to become 
 God Rupture, For as a Pickle of Mirth 
 
156 THE FAERY PASTORALI/, 
 
 Applyde on some will cause men gently laugh, 
 
 So the same practised vpon an Elf 
 
 Will force them burst their bounds which Bounds 
 
 Once burst a Rupture must ensewe. But what ? 
 
 Least lyke an vnskilfull Preacher that drawes 
 
 His Prayer longer then he does his Sermon, 
 
 I wrest my Prologue longer then my Playe, 
 
 Since lusty gallants I am alone here 
 
 In silent groues with which there euer is 
 
 Such Joint affinity with Harmonye 
 
 I'll giue you my voice yet ere Play begin. 
 
 The Fifth Song, 
 
 1. 
 Wee haue found a Witch down the Leye, 
 Not Fowle, Fish, nor Quadrupede either 
 Whom Judge wee by her Discordry. 
 Three in one deuiding together. 
 
 2. 
 Has a face of the womankind, 
 Breast lyke to feathers of a Rauen, 
 In Tayle she is a Fish behind, 
 , Rightly wee may call her a Crauen. 
 
 3. 
 Now againe what shall wee deuise ? 
 Wee bring this mishapt Monster vnder, 
 What comprise ? she vs not despise, 
 Wee make one these Paris to a wonder. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 157 
 
 4. 
 Bring Candle, water, BooJce and Bell 
 Wee adiure the infernall Polle, 
 Wee will ley the damb Soule of Hell 
 Ere night make her one in a hole. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 4. 
 
 Camilla Picus. 
 
 Cam. Pastorall, God speede, this the way ? I pray, 
 Vnto the Keepers Lodge ? (Pic.) Madame the way. 
 
 Cam. I haue seene thee oft, yet wel know not how 
 To tearme thee by thy name. (Pic.) Sapho, Madame, 
 Vpon the Report of your high desert 
 On any tyme is ready consecrate 
 Her self and seruice to your sole behest. 
 
 Cam. Not her, I troe, that keepes Sir Dauids sheepe. 
 
 Pic. Faire Madame, her that keepes Sir Dauids sheepe. 
 
 Cam. Trust mee a goodly Flock, and not vnlyke 
 Either in shape, or brightnes of their woole 
 Vnto their Keeper. But prithy Shephardesse 
 Set mee in my way. And for thy paine 
 I will reward thee to thyne own content. 
 
 Pic. Madame, if you would but vouchsafe to grace 
 Our homely Tenement with the August 
 Presence of your Maiesty to my poore 
 Hability you should be entertayned 
 With a small collation before you went. 
 
158 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Cam. Wee thank thee, Sapho, wee be bound to thee. 
 But leade the way, after this weary Toyle 
 I haue neede of much refreshment by my Faith. 
 
 Pic. Enter in there, I will follow you (Cam.) Foth. 
 * Went Pic. Does not the sent of the Parlour lyke you?* 
 
 gowiug still 
 
 es he spake. Cam. Sapho, what Strang Indignity is this ? 
 
 Thou hast oflferd to our Person (Pic.) What does 
 
 Your honoured Ladiship ayle ? I prey. 
 
 Cam. Behold thou hast include mee in a Cott 
 Tapistred with Cats and Fowens. (Pic.) Sweet Faerye, 
 Did you think it possible ? Play your prank 
 On a Faery of lyke Skill and Power, 
 Then in full Triumphe voyd of ill to passe 
 Discharged of the lyke ? (Cam.) why ? good woman, 
 Euer did I thee Injury thou shouldst 
 Abuse mee in this sort ? say, what art thou ? 
 Or whats the cause thou shouldst cast so foule a 
 Reproch into my Teeth ? (Pic.) Picus forsooth. 
 
 Cam. Picus turnd to Sapho ! Hoa. (Pic.) I, I wisse. 
 
 Cam. Picus ! o Gods omnipotent, who would 
 Haue euer thought Picus the gemme of Elues, 
 Picus the Flower of Elues t' haue gone about 
 T' inuite his Camilla to such a Feast ? I 
 
 Pic. If the Musk agree not with your nose, Madame> 
 I may not doe, yet this I will be swome 
 Tis the best and sweetest my Cats may forde mee. 
 
 Cam. But tell me, Picus, I prithy, is there 
 No hope of my release ? Good Picus, say. 
 
 Pic* No in right Sooth, Madame. (Cam.) Then by that dart. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 159 
 
 Pic. The point of it is broaken. (Cam.) That struck thee. 
 Pic. Say your mind. (Cam.) Thou wouldst now at last 
 remitt 
 Mee this Pestiferous Hell. (Pic.) Would you loue mee then 
 Cam. Yea double my Loue, Lord Picus, I would. 
 Pic. Ha ha. (Cam. J Why laugh you, Sweet. (Pic. J if 
 you had sa}^! 
 You would haue forgone half I would haue easd you, 
 But being you'll double it as you say 
 Which is ominous vnto mee as Hell 
 There I wish you abide to smother it. 
 
 Cam. Yet, loe, for all this Iniury thou hast 
 Inflict on mee how deiect a Suppliaunt 
 I do in eury point become vnto thee 
 The dire Executioner of my woe. 
 Pic. Rayle and you will, who letteth you ? I pray. 
 Cam. Wilt not release mee ? good Picus, say. 
 Pic. Sooner shall Horse forrage in liquid Aire, 
 Sooner Fish destitute their Spawn on Trees, 
 Then that I do release or pitie you. 
 
 Cam. Is this your finall Resolution ? Ha. 
 Pic. I, For such the trewe common sajdng goe^i 
 Such as you bake such lykwise you must brewe. 
 So, loe, I leaue you to your self alone. 
 To warble, daunCe, Pipe, wayle, groane or moane. 
 Cam. O ruthles Tyraunt of silly mee forgone. 
 Pic. I, doe, curse, ban, exclaime and shame thy self. 
 Cam, Vnto the Gods I yeild my quick Release. 
 
160 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 5. 
 •She held a *Fancia Hippolon in a BatcJilour Habit And comerd Ca/p. in 
 
 Breife in ^ 
 
 her hand. lyknes of Sir Dauid. 
 
 Fan. Doe you assure mee ? M" Schoolemaster, 
 This charme thrise repeated auer will bring 
 By vertue of his operous force. The 
 Hunter Sylius in compasse of my will ? 
 
 Hipp. Madame, I say not soe vnles you doe 
 Obserue such circumstances as I shall 
 Praescribe vnto you as Things requisite 
 * And fitting in the case. (Fan.) Master, your rule ? 
 
 Hipp. First you must repeate the spell three tymes. 
 Then whistle, once, betweene, and then repeate 
 As oft. Then whistle long, and then repeate. 
 So Incessauntly tiU the Sun be down, 
 Eftsoones by a Scroll let into your lap, 
 Of woundrous Force and Operation, 
 Madame, you shall be instruct what to doe. 
 
 Fan. All this I can and will Perfourme, Sir Dauid. 
 
 Hipp. I had forgot, this must be done looking 
 Steddily against the Sun, For if neuer 
 So httle you clin th* eye the charme will breake. 
 And you in same order you were before. 
 
 Fan. Prithy, Dauid, giue it its Tyme once more. 
 Hipp. Bat Bat beare away. 
 
 If thou hearst this way, 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 161 
 
 Come by myne eare away 
 
 And for thy here away 
 
 Take a peice of toasted cheese. Wheu.* 
 
 Fan. Now I shall carry it sure. (Hipp,) Good Madame, 
 Be carefull in the circumstance, For then 
 I warrant you the successe. (Fan.) Fear thou not. 
 
 Hipp. So leaning your Ladiship to the deede 
 I wish your honour suddenly to speede. 
 
 Fan. Master, if any way I may thee steede 
 I'll be prest to further thee in thy neede. 
 
 Hipp. Why, I do thank your good Honour for it 
 
 Fan. Mighty Jupiter, if it be thy will 
 Grace my attempt and graunt mee Syluius wilL 
 Syluius is wise, Syluius is Trim, 
 Syluius a Lord, Syluius a King, 
 Syluius is Rich, Syluius is strong, 
 Syluius is straite, Syluius is long, 
 Syluius can Run, Syluius can Ring, 
 Syluius can leape, Syluius can fling, 
 Syluius does shoote, Syluius does Swim, 
 Syluius will daunce, Syluius will sing, 
 Syluius, in hmnaine shape, but one. 
 And yet all these is Syluius alone. 
 Then, Fancia, compose thee on the Sorrell, 
 And call thou lowd on Syluius in thy spell.* 
 Sun's down and loe the ScroUe within thy lap. 
 
 •He 
 
 wUsteld. 
 
 Here she 
 layd her 
 self along 
 on the bank 
 pillow to 
 her hed. 
 
 can can 
 
 • Here she 
 
 executed I 
 the Spell 
 that was in- 
 ioined her. 
 Bat Bat 
 etcaet. 
 
162 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 She had no sooner executed the whole prcecept many tymes as 
 might suffice, but a Saollefell into her lap from aboue, which 
 was this 
 
 Fan. \reades^ Syluius remayneth in that Brick you see, and 
 in that Cott there is a banquet to entertayne him, Quickly hie, 
 and lookefor the Keyes behind that Oake. 
 
 Fan. Excellent, I wiH euen Presently take the Keyes, and see» 
 
 • No kissc Villaine.* 
 
 here nei- 
 
 ther Danid 
 his B 
 Vide 
 infra. 
 
 ^)? Bum. ACT IV SCEN 6. 
 
 Vide vt 
 
 Florida Fancia. 
 
 Flo. Callst mee villaine ? 
 
 Fan. No, But I prithy, who hath suhlimated thee into a Che- 
 rubin, so ? 
 
 Flo. Thou? who hath transformed thee into an howlet? 
 woman. 
 
 Fan. With looking on the Sun, I am. 
 
 Flo. 1st an Eclipse ? 
 
 Fan. In myne eyes it is. 
 
 Flo. Prithy, How? 
 
 Fan. Looking for Syluius in the Sun, Dauid told mec I 
 should find him in that kiln you see, And that there was a Ban- 
 qmt in that Cott to entertayne him, when Mistaking thee for Sir 
 Dauids Dauid his bare Buttocks I called thee villaine for him. 
 
 Flo. 1 smell a Catt, Fob. 
 
 Fan. So do I, Florida. 
 
 dilue. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 163 
 
 Flo. If Camilla be not shutt into that Catt-cotte, I will weare 
 the Cats about my neck for Pomanders, Fancia. 
 
 Fan. I will tearme the whole Pack a Base of Three pyld 
 Villanie, Florida. 
 
 Flo. Goe wee see. Come. 
 
 Fan. Agreed. Whoope, Camilla ! 
 
 Flo. I told you so. 
 
 Fan. Where hast beene Rufflin ? Sirrha. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 7. 
 
 Camilla Fancia Florida. 
 
 Cam. Who has play'd the Laundresse with your eyes you ? 
 
 Flo. Come, Come, Part of the banquit, Camilla. 
 
 Cam. Lyck you the dishes, for I haue surfetted. 
 
 Fan. Who was graund Master of the Feast ? say you. 
 
 Cam. Picus was. 
 
 Flo. Couldst not beware of one that was Pikt ? Foole. 
 
 Cam. For he came to mee in Saphoes woollen Symplicity. 
 
 Flo. Learchus to mee in Christophell fooles vizard. 
 
 Fan. Hippolon to mee in Dauid Knaues long gown, Now 
 I concieue him right and trewe. 
 
 Cam. O villainous Race of Masculines. 
 
 Flo. Wee haue playd them as good. Therefore, come, come, 
 now lets mock at them. 
 
 Fan. Agreed. 
 
 Flo, I warrant, when Learchus was in the well he daunct 
 there the Canaria with his heeles, Fancia. 
 
164 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Fan. So diddest thou when he bated thee in that kUn. Flo- 
 rida. 
 
 Cam. I wonder the Bees found honey in Picus he being a 
 man so repleate with Filth. 
 
 Flo. Possible, lyke to a Theife, when a Man carryes no mo- 
 ney about him the Bees coursd him for very spite. 
 
 Fan. Neuer Hackney hath beene so coursd as my Hackney 
 hath beene. 
 
 Flo. Hauing so many Homes about his eares he could not 
 then but gallop the Post sure. 
 
 Fan. Other haue run, I set furth my eyes. 
 
 Cam. Where dropt they ? say. 
 
 Fan. Why ask you ? 
 
 Cam. For there is no better orient to be found. 
 
 Fan. Sister, can you spare one ounce of your Musk ? 
 
 Cam. A shop full, Mary. 
 
 Fan. 1st Right Amber ? 
 
 Cam. Best my Catts may yeild mee. 
 
 Fan. Thanks, Sister, Long shall fetch it. 
 
 Flo. What's to be done now ? Sisters Three. 
 
 Cam. Sw alio we wee the drench, then tume wee home Three, 
 to my Lady, Uke Michers three to see, sey wee. 
 
 Fan. If wee bring her not in our dayes account before it be 
 night, wee, shall stand Three before her lyke vnto that Foxe 
 that once lost her Tayle. j 
 
 Flo. With Lawe or outlay rush wee on the Deere, Sisters. 
 Cam. Agreed, I do feare a Leash as a collyars Mare a whip. 
 Fan. Hie wee all least wee kick the heeles all. Come. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 165 
 
 ♦ACT IV SCEN 8. 
 
 LeARCHUS PiCUS HlPPOLOl*. 
 
 Lear. Hippolon and Picus, well mett you be. 
 Say, how went your Plotts to day ? saye o saye. 
 
 Pic. Lucidly myne as I could wish, my Lord. 
 
 Hipp. Myne, with Pace, as sure as Trot, I troe. 
 
 Lear. But come, say you both, I beseech you, how ? 
 
 Pic. By a sleight and queint deuice I gat my Dame 
 Into a stinking Cott where she bewayld 
 Most clamourously her afflicted Throwe. 
 
 Lear. But letst her furth on that complaint ? Sirrha, 
 
 Pic. First did I wish her hangd, I vowe. But thou ? 
 
 Lear. Neuer Beare so daunced the Canarye 
 As I made myne to daunce it in that Kiln 
 
 Hipp. I made mjme so to looke against the Sun, 
 I am right sure she neuer will hencefurth 
 Looke on him more. (PicJ-'RvA was she not Backward 
 To beleeue thee so ? (Hipp.) No verily No. 
 
 Lear. Why? I pray you, why? (Hipp.) She was wood 
 for one 
 Calld Syluius. (Pic.) That curmugeon of our woods ? 
 
 Hipp. The same. The same, I do assure you trewe. 
 
 Lear. Good subiect hadst to work on, Hippolon. 
 
 Hipp. So persuaded I am. But how now thou ? 
 
 Lear. By that the Lawe of Lex Talionis sure. 
 For as I lookt wan by water myself. 
 
 •They 
 enterd at 
 seiierall 
 doores 
 Learchus 
 at the 
 Midde 
 doore. 
 
106 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 So she for one draught too of Cold water 
 Endurde high bummg of the face for same. 
 
 Pic. My sweet hearte I am sure is perfumed 
 Against her Marriage day most sweetly. 
 
 Hipp. Myne may leade the Blindman's Curranto 
 At her wedding day too, Ha ha. (Pic.) Ha ha. 
 
 Lear. Ha ha. nay nay they be Three am assurde 
 Layd vp in Lauender against that day. 
 But come, Lets now waite on Orion all. 
 Who by this is with Hypsiphyle on 
 Conclusion for this dayes sport. (Pic.) If wee 
 Linger neuer so Httle wee shall tast 
 The leash sure. (Lear.) Then come away strait, I say. 
 
 Pic. And obserue wee how the whoores will looke vs 
 In the face to day. (Hipp.) yes by my Troth lets 
 Come. (Lear.) O come away, Hoa. (Both) wee come we 
 come. 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 9. 
 
 •HeMett •Dathd Atys Hylas Christophel Sapho. 
 
 them 
 
 Dau. Thou Garbidge of Babylon. 
 Hyl. Or Guardbag of the Bubell. 
 Dau. Hast beene ruffing with RuflSns ? Say. 
 Sir, verily. Soph. "So, Sir. (C^mf.) Hooke off I pray you. 
 Dau. I will leaue thee bare as my Bum. 
 At. You haue bared hers, I suppose* 
 Dau. How camst furth my verge ? Ha. 
 Saph. I was forced away. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 167 
 
 Dau, No force. 
 
 Hyl. No force yet vpon her, Sir Dauid. 
 
 Dau. Seest not lyke an Apothecary I carry life and Death 
 along with mee ? Ha. 
 
 Saph. Life, my Belly may witnes, See. 
 
 Hyl. Furth with thy Suppositorye and giue her A Purge At. 
 strait. 
 
 Dau. Suppose I doe, what's the sequence thereof? 
 
 Hyl. You would but emancipate your spleene for an ex case, At. 
 loe. 
 
 Dau. Cypher mee but down the summe of him now. Come. 
 
 Hyl. Sir, thus. As wee walked along yonder Hedge you see. At. 
 wee all fled, all vs I may well say, From a Beast, I will be 
 sworne, The Lord God of Heauen neuer created. 
 
 Dau. Hath there beene a Flood of late ? Say. 
 
 Christ. Of which of the Floods speaketh he, may it be sup- 
 pos'd, Troe, 
 
 Dau. If there hath beene a Flood it is a Monster, if not any, 
 it may well stand for a Miracle. 
 
 At. Truly Goodman Flud had but newe shome his close Hyl. 
 before wee come thither. 
 
 Christ. Oh ho. 
 
 Dau. Quid mihi cum homine ? Hath there beene a Flood, a 
 Deludge, a Cataract, or Cataclysme ? say I beseech you ? 
 
 At. Jupiter threatened vs Three Tymes to teeme his whole 
 Pis-pot vpon vs. 
 
 Dau. Belyke, he supposd you Fiddlers. 
 
 Christ. Joues Egle snappeth not at Flyes I am persuaded. 
 
168 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 At. If he had wee would haue made Heauen whot for him 
 and for his Egle. 
 
 Christ. So did the Gyaunts, and he made the Earth whot for 
 them. 
 
 Hyl. Pray, M"^ Schoole-master, resolue vs our Probleme. 
 
 Dau. Demonstrata autem. . 
 
 Hyl. What is Jupiter's pisse oflf? 
 
 Dau. Of Bahne I suppose him to be. 
 
 Christ. WoiJd I had of it for the Kybes. 
 
 Dau. Tis the dewe of the welkin. 
 
 Hyl. Why I pray you drinking Nectar voydeth he but such 
 thin geare then ? 
 
 Dau. Quod supra nos nihil ad nos. 
 
 Hyl. Sir, I thank you. 
 
 Dau. Wee haue bated long in this Diuerticle, Goe wee now 
 therefore to the Shambles, all wee I say, wee may there displaye 
 the Anathomy of this creature you talk. 
 
 At. The Foote of an Egle, the Back of a Beare, the Belly of 
 an Ounce, A neck of nothing, and the head of a Scullian, with 
 an Appendix of homes, directly butting from him, furth fro. 
 
 Dau. Jupiter burst thou not open the Bulk of my Patience. 
 
 Hyl. Sir Priscian ? what ayle you ? 
 
 Dau. Knowledge and Ignorance be at buffets in my brayne 
 concerning the Abiect, See. 
 
 At. Hereupon your Judgement. I pray. Sir. 
 
 Dau. Shewe mee but his hole. 
 
 At. There. 
 
 Hyl. Loe, he now peepeth ftu*th to you also. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 169 
 
 ACT IV SCEN 10. 
 Salomon Atys Hylas Sapho Christophel Dauid. 
 
 Sal. Kelowe. 
 
 Dau. He is nothing, An Idole^ A Chimaera, Chimaera. 
 
 Sal. Kelowe. 
 
 At. Why not Scoggins Beast as well ? 
 
 Dau. Difference is. The one sheweth the hed, the other 
 shewed his Tayle. 
 
 Christ. I beleeue he be Siccius Dentatus his ghost, he so 
 grinneth on vs, loe. 
 
 Sal. Kelowe.* 
 
 Dau. I haue a charme will fetch him ; I will but into the 
 Sexton for Bell and for Holy-water and come to you Incon- 
 tinentlye 
 
 Hyl. John of the Towns-end being asked what was his 
 opinion of a dewe worme he sayd he was a Thing, And M"^ 
 Schoolmaster that is learned being demaunded his of no Abiect 
 Animall by the Rood, he affirmeth him to be No Thing. 
 
 At. I say he is above a Thing, For he is compact of many 
 Things. 
 
 Christ. I wonder whither there be Faeryes ? 
 
 At. A Butcher looked about for a knife he held in his Mouth, 
 And he a Faery himself enquireth whither there be any. Buze. 
 
 Saph. For to assure you there be Faeryes I will tell you what 
 I did myself Gentlemen. 
 
 Christ. Repeate now. 
 
 Saph. Vpon a Tyme in lykenes of a Flye I fell into an old 
 
 z 
 
 *Here he 
 retyrd. 
 
rtO THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 womans cheme, where with the Mylk so long I did piddle, 
 where with the creame so long I did Fiddle, that the wise 
 women of the Parish heing brought thither to vncharme him by 
 their spells, For all the Buttoning of their Buttocks they could 
 not bring him to Butter all. 
 
 Christ. A Syllabub it was I wai*rant before thou left it, 
 Sapho. 
 
 Soph. Hardst euer a flye to pisse ? Asse. 
 Christ. T' haue gone to stoole I haue. 
 At. Now will you heare what I did ? 
 Christ. With our heartes bvote. Atys. 
 Bal^ere ^t^ Once on a S* Clement's night I fell into a Barbers BoUe 
 
 in forme of a Crab, where so long I bobd against the Mouth of 
 him betw'eene wind and water, that in spite of his Nose to the 
 pleasure of the whole companye of beholders there, he went to 
 bed sober as he sat down. 
 
 Ht/l. Meane while thou soakest in the whole liquour, Atys. 
 At. I, and it soaked mee into my own Airie shape again too. 
 Hi/l. Now for mee. Sir, I pray you. 
 Christ. Say, wee do heare. 
 
 Ht/l. I crept, on a tyme, betweene a Gentlewomans legges in 
 her sleepe, in lyknes of a Flea, she supposing it had beene a 
 lowse caught mee betweene superficies of her finger and 
 Thumbe, when as I by reason of that small corpulence I then 
 possessed, shpping furth her nayles kept such a Tickling in her 
 concauitye the whiles, she ran lyke a mad Cowe about chamber 
 all that night, till being broade day (As Faeryes shun the morn- 
 ing Starr) I then lept Right from furth her, So vanisht into myne 
 own Airie shape againe too. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 171 
 
 Christ. Why diddest not thou then get her with child? 
 Sirrha Boye. 
 
 Hyl. If I had then gotten her with child, being then far lesse 
 then I am now myself, I might so haue engendred on her a 
 Thing called Just, Good or little as Nothing. 
 
 Christ. Oh ho. 
 
 At. Prithy, Brown Sapho, why being so long in the cherne 
 forgattest thou to wash thy face there. 
 
 Saph. Atys, the Gods Metamorphose, not I. 
 
 At. I will be my witnes since the Tyme the Goddesse Mother 
 cut away my stones. 
 
 Hyl. I, since the tyme they new christend mee in a bucket of 
 water, I suppose. 
 
 Christ. What's to be done now? the Schoole-master is falln a 
 sleepe, I suppose him trewe. 
 
 Hyl. Into some dike, I beleeue. 
 
 At. I think he be berayd. 
 
 Saph. Goe wee gather the Nutts he hath botterd. If wee 
 find him, so, if not, there be many moe. 
 
 Hyl. Quod sub intelligitur non deest. Come. 
 
 Christ. Yet come your wayes. Let vs but eate one messe of 
 creame, after come furth seeke him, where wee lost him, Faith. 
 
 At. With our whole heartes, M"^ Christophel. 
 
 Hyl. First a Song, wee all do beseech you, Sir. 
 
17« THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 The Sixth Song. 
 1. 
 Right Pepper is black. 
 And hath a good smack 
 For any Mouth thafs deintye 
 Which y^ she doe lack 
 I know it will crack 
 The fairest mayde of twentye 
 
 Come on then my Shrowe, 
 As black as a Crowe, 
 Now Kisse mee one full million 
 Then for the last throwe 
 ril shewe thee a blowe 
 Shall call lowdfor the Pillion 
 3. 
 To carrye thee hence, 
 Thenfolicke, deare wench 
 And get thee on thy safegarde, 
 For I will not flinch 
 From of this lowe Binch 
 Till I get thee in safe Guade. 
 4. 
 / will so beslauer 
 Thy sweetest black fauour 
 That all this Church shall ring 
 In joy e of I haue her 
 With all their life labour 
 Now all lets daunce and fling. 
 
 Here they knockt vp the Consort. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES* 173 
 
 ACT V SCEN I. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Orion with a Hare bound by the hind-legges to his Hunt' 
 
 speare, Hypsiphyle with hed of a Hart in one hand and her 
 
 Hunt-speare in the other. Chorus of Huntsmen and Hunts' 
 
 women. They mett on either syde. Orion speaJces asfollowes. 
 
 Orion Hypsiphyle Chorus. 
 
 Or. Lady Hypsiphyle, now wee shall see 
 Whither hath obserued the better lawe 
 In taking, as in promoting his game, 
 By consequence whither the more noble sport, 
 Say, what's your game ? (Hyp.) A Hart, my Lord, and yours ? 
 
 Or. A Hare. (Hyp.) Then, Lord Orion, since that so 
 Your honour is the chalenger, propound 
 Your oppositions. And if I do not 
 Confute them, and with stionger vigour too, 
 Neuer while Eluida is Eluida 
 Let I slip Dog more. (Or.) Lady, you be too 
 Confident, For I must tell you there falls 
 Many a chaunce betweene the Cup and lip, 
 To shewe you which, I begin to you thus. 
 Before I start a Hare, So ho, I crye 
 About his Fourme to giue him warne thereby. 
 
 Hyp. Neuer I vnlodgd Hart but Three tymes Furst 
 f^ I whisteld about him before he rusht. 
 
 Or. When Hares be start I get not then start 
 When you lay Dogs in vauntlay for the Hart. 
 
174 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyp. Albee you get not of the Hare the start 
 Yet you will murder him before he part. 
 
 Or. To compasse in a Hart when he's at Bea 
 What call you it ? 1st not Murder Praye ? 
 
 Hyp, Better with sword and Dog wee pull him down, 
 Then with his ragged Bill he goare my Hound. 
 
 Or. Wee onely hunt a Hare with single sleight. 
 And you a Hart with hound and feathery Flight. 
 
 Hyp. The fleeting shaft may wander well as hit, 
 So no wrong wee offer in the vse of it. 
 
 Or. But doe not you ? Bring him to a stand. 
 After ayme vpon him yshrowd in stand ? 
 
 Hyp. But do not you ? The Hind legges longer than the 
 furst 
 Cause Hares a val a Mount their necks to burst ? 
 
 Or. Tumbleth faster than the Dogs can run. 
 In so doing I hope the Hare hath wun. 
 
 Hyp. When Harts in Hed all other Beasts do passe, 
 Euer a Hare is hedded lyke an Asse. 
 
 Or. When Matter faileth fall you to your Trick ? 
 Noble Lady, haue at you with the lyke. 
 A Hart not onely beares a Cuckolds note, 
 But also weares to boote a forlornes coate. 
 
 Hyp. Witches in shapes of Hares haue oft beene scene, 
 But neuer in trewe Hearte haue witches beene. 
 
 Or. Albee in Hart a witch hath neuer beene 
 Vnder Homes yet hath the Diuell beene scene. 
 
 Hyp. Th' Harts a Gentleman by his veluet Crown 
 When Hares by hairie Cap present the Clown. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 175 
 
 Or. Though Harts weare veluet yet it shewes I wisse 
 But Thred-bare Gallants by its Mouldines. 
 
 Hyp. A Hare is sayd to change from sexe to sexe 
 And Boundaunt Births in Nature be defects. 
 
 Or. A Hare and breedes and Knots and brings at once 
 And store's no sore as doe the wise pronounce. 
 
 Hyp. I neuer sawe a Hare but Melancholy 
 And Melancholy notes Timidity. 
 
 Or. And the Hart Horne-madde, of which in Proof 
 You may decerne a Diuell by his hoofe. 
 
 Hyp. The Diuell hath too, they say, beene scene in Hare. 
 As may appeare sometyme in goatish Haire. 
 
 Or. Though in goatish hairer the Diuells appeare. 
 Yet that in a Hare too, you may forbeare. 
 
 Hyp. What will you say ? If I do proue, my Lord, 
 Hares be not to be eaten by the Woord. 
 
 Or. What will you say ? If I do plaine declare, 
 You be a Jewe, that will not eate a Hare ? 
 
 Hyp. I will not answere your Sophist Argument. 
 
 Or. You will not answere my Sophist Argument ? 
 
 Hyp. In faith, Sir, no, you may be well content. 
 
 Or. Then you will graunt I haue wun the game of you? 
 
 Hyp. You may. But deepely withall from hence vowe 
 Neuer to set Foote in this Chace with you. 
 
 Or. Yet tarry the while, that's the short and long, 
 You may carry with you the. wyne along. 
 Faeryes, you must put in your Counters too. 
 
 Cho. Wee haue, my Lord. (Or.) 1 thank you now. (Hyp. J 
 Farewell 
 
176 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 My Lord. (Or.) Nay, Albeit by th' Dye I haue wun. 
 
 Thou shalt find yet that noble Orion 
 
 Was neuer but honourable, eake stayd 
 
 In either Fortime, Retyre wee Two both 
 
 To our seuerall Courts, there for to prouide, 
 
 H)rpsiphyle, For our Celebrations, 
 
 So to consumate our BridaU here soone. 
 
 And come you all prouide for this Triumphe. 
 
 Hi/p. So doe. For in each respect doth Deserue it. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 2. 
 
 Christophel Atys Hylas Sapho. 
 
 Christ. Since wee can not find the Schoolemaster, how shall 
 wee now driue the tyme all till he come ? Say, my deare Gen- 
 tlemen, Saye. 
 
 At. Wee will seeke for Caddowes in thy nose, Christophel 
 our. 
 
 Christ. Piddle on mee, I will hamper you as Hercules once 
 hamperd the Pigmies, Boyes. 
 
 At. How^ was that? Saye. 
 
 Christ. I wiD stone you Two betweene my Two nayles, Atys 
 and Hylas myne. 
 
 At. Dost take mee for a lowse ? Christophel. 
 
 Christ. For a Nit, Atys, I doe. 
 
 At. But what's to be done ? say. 
 
 Hyl. Wee will barrill this Tun against next Rogation, 
 Masters. 
 
 At. Rather let vs set some Fowen Trap for the Pedaunt. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 177 
 
 Hyl. He stinketh sufficiently. 
 Soph, On my conscience he does. 
 At. Wey, you Atheist. 
 Hyl. Thou'rt a Nod Fellowe, Christophel. 
 Christ. I know it too well. But Patience, For loe here he 
 comes. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 3. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Dauid camefurth with holy water sprinkle in one hand and Bell 
 greate, deepe and sounding in tJie other. 
 
 Dauid Hylas Atys Christophel Sapho. 
 
 Dau. A Hall, Gentlemen, A Hall. 
 
 At. Where hast so long beene Bungling? saye, o thou 
 Hard Hed, Saye. 
 
 Hyl. Sirrha, wee haue ransackt all and each Buzards Nest to 
 find thee furth betweene this and obera. 
 
 Dau. What sayd the Parson, Sirs, when he fell in on the 
 wench? Troe. 
 
 Saph. Vmph. 
 
 At. I know not. 
 
 Hyl. What ? I prithy, Saye. 
 
 Dau. Non potui breuius. 
 
 Christ. But when Do you begin your Diuells Dirige ? I pray 
 you. 
 
 Dau. In a Sprinkle, say but you Cliun at eury staues end, 
 then let mee alone, myself Mump the Remaynder. 
 
 A a 
 
178 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyl. Loe now, he peepeth furth to you, see and behold. 
 Dau, A Schismatique he is, I do auowe it to you all, Sirs, 
 Come. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 4. 
 
 * The Direction. 
 
 Here they kneeld all on one leg, with their Heds in the Palmes of 
 their hands. The Schoole-master the whiles standing on his 
 legges, with Bell and holy water Sprinkle in his hand. 
 
 Salomon Dauid Hylas Atys Christophel Sapho. 
 
 Sal. Kelowe. 
 
 Dau. Set, Masters, set. Battare Cygntsus repetamus car- 
 * The BelL mine voces J* 
 All. Clum. 
 Dau. You Gods of th' Earth and Deepe, 
 
 You hold, full well, in keepe. 
 
 Whither wee eate or sleepe 
 
 None does praeserue his sheepe 
 •The Bell. Nisi Dominus.* 
 
 All. Clum. 
 Dau. Now Monster in thy celle, 
 
 Giue eare to what I tell. 
 
 Forsake the seate you dwell, 
 
 Albee the DiueU of Hell 
 * The Bell. Aedificauerit domum.* 
 
 All. Clum Clum. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 179 
 
 Dau, Mammon and Orci Pater, 
 
 Greate Masters of the weather, 
 
 With Sprinkle of this feather, 
 
 Loe thus I trye them whither 
 
 In vanum labor auerunt.* * The Bell. 
 
 All. Clum. 
 Dau. In name of Thundring Joue, 
 
 And of his Quire aboue 
 
 I charge them to remoue 
 
 From furth this dusty Oue * 
 
 Qui cedificant earn.* •The Bell. 
 
 All. Clum Clum. 
 Sal. Kelowe. 
 
 Christ. He retyreth. Now the charme beginneth to worke. 
 See. 
 
 Sal. Kelowe. 
 
 Dau. God and S' Sepulchre to boote* Now loe you all, ho- • Here he 
 
 , rctrvrdc* 
 
 nest Gentlemen, Et Nusquam est et Nullum est, As I sayd First 
 to you and before. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Be this the foresayd for Powles, For Actors see the Direction at 
 later end of this Pastorall, which is separate by it self Extra 
 Olens, as they say. 
 
 Hyl. He hath proued him a chunaera or Idole indeed, la. 
 
 For he hath turned him into No Thing Just. f^^ X°}^ 
 
 Christ. This was right learnedly perfourmed of you, M-^ A^ls*t* 
 
 Schoolemaster, by my Troth. '^^'^\ of 
 
 •' •' goodly 
 
 At. In recompense of the which* La you, Sir, wee will be- ^u'J'^^' 
 
180 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 stowe on you a well mesurde Peck of our Faery comfits for to 
 comfort your crasye stomach with them. See and behold. 
 
 Dau. I do willingly accept of the Benefit, For my dayes 
 labour, I suppose, hath deserued the same. 
 
 Soph. Excellent as I haue scene. 
 
 Hi/l. M"^ Christophel, Can you shewe mee a deuice toward 
 taming of a Squirrill ? say. 
 
 Christ. Shewe mee but his Phisnomie. 
 
 At. He would haue you tame him, not take a coppie of him. 
 
 Christ. Pythagoras before he poured in his Hehcon consy- 
 dered the face of his Boye. 
 
 At. By same reason you mind giue him a Piu-ge. 
 
 Christ. Not amisse it would be. 
 
 Ht/l. Loe, Sir. 
 
 Christ. A Pretie Animal he is. He is the First I haue scene 
 in my dayes. Poake him, I pray you now. 
 
 Hi/l. Sir, I thank you, heartily, for my learning. 
 
 Christ. Much good do it to you, Sir, lykwise. 
 
 At. How now, M"^ Schoolemaster, in your Mementoes, Sir, what? 
 
 Ht/l. Speake, I beseech you, what's it afflicts you ? 
 
 At. Shake off these dmnps and goe along with vs, Come. 
 
 Ht/l. Your answere, I beseech you .now, Come. 
 
 Dau. Gentlemen, I will but knock a Coney on the Hed 
 • He led and Come to you Incontinently.* 
 Trull here. -4'' With the Pox to conduct you. 
 
 H^l. And stable doore to be shut vpon you now. 
 
 Christ. Best of all. But come your wayes now ; after our 
 Sport let vs waite on our Masters all. Come. 
 
 Hyl. Lupus est in Fabula^ Loe, yonder they come. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 181 
 
 ACT V SCEN 5. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Orion with a, Letter reading, Hypsiphyle Learchus Picus 
 HippOLON Florida Camilla Fancia Atys Hylas Christo- 
 PHEL, The Six Huntsmen Men and Women bearing on either 
 syde a Banquet of diuers and sundry sorts of Junkets in 
 goodly Gold and Syluer Bolles, Syluius and Syluia on either 
 syde of them with Two Venice Mazers or standing Bolles of 
 glasse, Tlie one with a Fragrant Malmsey, the other with 
 Spanish Sack. Orion and Hypsiphyle in their wedding orna- 
 ments. Orion takes his Bride by the hand, then speakes as 
 followes. 
 
 Or, Come on, Noble Lady, of the whole Land Come. 
 Since now our Leige is gone, Come, Mount wee this 
 
 Campestrall old Chapell once built by Faeryes, Forsaken 
 
 There to combine, as long as I haue longed, Fence. 
 Mutually our selues in one. So to hencefurth 
 
 Aeternally confirme this league* And you • Here 
 
 Right worty Raungers of these holy woods themselnes 
 
 Bind you by your Assents this lasting knot. 
 As I will sweare to maintaine vnto you 
 Your Ancient lawes and rites, Loe, this is all. 
 I haue to say to you now. So faire proceed 
 You to our Installment, you faeryes all. 
 
 both. 
 
182 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Here Atys, the Princes hauing seated themselves, stepping 
 betweene the Two Chorus sayd the Apologie following with 
 dUue one Accord of the rest to the Princes in manner and forme 
 
 following. 
 
 The Apologie. 
 
 At. The mighty Rector of the Skies is sayne 
 Two coffers int' his Custody t' haue tayne ; 
 The one greife, woe and Sad Repentaunce locks. 
 Mirth, Glee, and Charis in the other boxe, 
 With the one he salues a good Kings distresse. 
 With th' other alayes Tyraunts Happines. 
 In th' one he vrills vs t' hope for Clemency, 
 Biddeth In th' other bids vs to dispaire and dye. 
 
 So wee, before wee yeild our utmost clause 
 Vnto the Vmpire of our Present cause. 
 Within these Bolles, as in Pandora'es Cup, 
 With lowly Heartes and breathed tunes giu'n vp 
 Present our Hopes and Feares, In that be stilld 
 The Females Pale Accounts, In this be drilld 
 (I weene in piurest drops of Maluasyne 
 Th' Ambiguous Fortunes of our Masculine, 
 haue Now, our graund Leige, If done wee sJtall but right 
 
 Release our shoulders of the Leash this night. 
 Mel et Butyrum inde Comedes 
 Vt Scires Eligere Bonum et Effugere Malum. 
 Long-hue, Orion now King of the Faeryes. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 183 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 Here Syluius ane Syluia, stepping vp the degrees, after had set 
 the Venice glasses or Mazers on either syde the Princes, The 
 Sack by Hypsiphyle and the Malmeseye by Orion, Then hold- 
 ing the Imperiall Ghirlond, that hung ouer the Front of the 
 Chapell, ouer both their heds, And then setting him alone on 
 the heade of Orion, The whole Chorus of Huntsmen men and 
 women Saluted his Maiesty all with one Accord asfollowes. 
 
 All. Long liue Orion now King of the Faeryes. 
 
 *The Seauenth Song. Z1^'° 
 
 here 
 1. knokctvp. 
 
 With Sollume oath and humble vowe 
 
 w' haue crownd his Highnes now 
 Let vs too in submissiue showe 
 
 Before his Presence bowe 
 I'd I'd let vs sing, 
 Vnto our now Faery King. 
 
 2. 
 Behold wee tender him our loue 
 
 With gifts such as wee may. 
 From Faery Swayne may not greate Joue 
 
 Expect a better Paye. 
 I'd To let vs sing 
 
 Vnto our now Faery King. 
 
 3. 
 
 Beceiue of vs, most worthy King, 
 With self and that same signe 
 
184 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 (These simple Tokens that wee bring) 
 
 Wee bring them to thy shryne. 
 To To let us sing 
 
 Vnto our now Faery King. 
 
 Or. Now tell mee what be in your Belles contejnid. 
 
 Lear. Such Junkets Faeryes afford wee haue brought 
 Small gifts to your Highnes. (Or.) Notwithstanding 
 I thank you and will be right ready doe 
 You any Turne I may, So set them down. 
 And remember what I do promise you. 
 
 Hyp. Mee thinks, my Lord, the Faeryes by their lookes 
 Haue farr prompter minds to God Cupids Bowe 
 Then to Latonides, For euer since. 
 My Lord, you began to moimt these steps 
 They haue nought but glaunct th' one vpon the other, 
 Sauing that Respect they beare to your Presence. 
 
 Or. I did obserue it, Sweet, and woidd be glad 
 To see it so. For greate thereby would be 
 This League. Say, Ladyes, be you agreed ? Hoa, 
 To yeild your selues in match vnto our Faeryes ? 
 
 Flo. Shall I that gemme I pawnd to Delia 
 Yeilde vnto one ? who with all the might he might 
 Sought to haue corrupted it by force of fume 
 To his bad vse ? I can nor will now yeild. 
 
 Lear. Who can not the destinies withstand. No more 
 Can he withstand a womans will. Self will 
 Self haue. I care not one Point for peeuish 
 Florida. (Hyp.) What sayes Camilla to the Match ? 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 185 
 
 Cam. If Infeclion comes from that that stmkS) I 
 Say my Suitor stinks and will none of him. 
 
 Pic. A Jakes be vpon thee. Sweet Camilla. 
 
 Hipp. Fancia I hope will not be peruers 
 But will yeild to my suite. (Fan.) In faith, No, Sir, 
 You shall be serued with Salt and spoones yfecks. 
 
 Hyp. Is this yovr best Resolution ? speake Mayde. 
 
 Fan. It is. (Hyp.) And yours? (Cam.) Yes verily. {Hyp.) 
 What sayes 
 Florida. {Flo.) Flatly, she will none of him. 
 
 Hyp. Why my deare gerles, if nothing will alaye 
 The Rigour of your spleenes, yet do you once 
 Say that the Queene of *Fays did entreate you. * Spenser. 
 
 Or. And the King of the *Fays also, sweet Peices 'Spenser. 
 
 Flo. I saye your Graces both must Pardon mee. 
 
 Cam. And mee. (Fan.) Mee too. (Or.) Goe to, Peeuish 
 giglots 
 I will haue it so, Be it a Match, I say. 
 
 Hyp. And for incensd Hypsyphile her part. 
 My Maydes, Since so peruers you be, denie but 
 Once more, and ne're looke her in her face more. 
 
 Cam. Puu. fF/o.^ A Hard Iniunction by my Troth, Madame. Fan. 
 
 Or. Resolue, Foolish Giglots, I bid you trewe. 
 
 Cam. Puu. (Fan.) Puu. (Or.) Then will none of you re- 
 solue ? Ha. 
 
 Cam. Now woe-begone thou poore Camilla trew. 
 
 Fan. The direst hap that ere be fell mee too. 
 
 Or. Come, come, I say, or haue my wrath to boote. 
 
 Hyp. And myne also, my gerles without all doubt 
 
 B b 
 
186 
 
 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 •They 
 transcend- 
 ed each 
 after their 
 cupplets 
 to other. 
 
 Cam. Puu, (Fan.) Puu. (Flo.) who holds that will away, 
 they say 
 Force of such charmes will breake through Forts, I see, 
 Yet as furr as might may, Thus I do oppose them. 
 Sauing that Bathe I did applye vpon him 
 To purge him of his Mamiers, yet euer 
 I loud Learchus well. (Lear.) what may a Man 
 Haue but Reuenge on an Enemye ? 
 Then off a Friend ? I pardon Florida.* 
 
 Cam. Before thou wert a Begger, Picus, Now 
 Thou comst with Rubies, wel. It is a Match. 
 
 Pic. But dinner is defrayd to your cost, Dame. 
 
 Hipp. Fancia begins my charme but now to work ? 
 
 Fan. Hippolon, of thy Toyle I long to ease thee. 
 
 Hyp. Did I not tell you it would be a Match ? 
 
 Or. Madame you did, And now do clearely see. 
 That howeuer in Heartes curst you be 
 Yet women all will saye Nay and Hunt it. 
 
 Hyp. I, and you say I, And all way Burnt it. 
 
 Or. Nay and you howeuer you Account it. 
 But where is Christophel that Gallant 
 Wee haue not scene him in the Chase to day ? 
 
 Christ. Here I am and shall lyke you. (Or.) Sirrha, you. 
 Say where wontst when thy Presence was required ? 
 To bring the gazing Deere vnto the stands ? 
 To blow their Death And to sewe the Hart ? 
 To take the Guts and to reward the Hounds ? 
 Loose the Numbles ? And to breake vp the Deare ? 
 Shewe mee your dayes Account, I reade you, Come^' 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 
 
 187 
 
 Christ. There stand my Suretyes, and here is my Baile.* 
 
 Or. Loystring Lozell, this is a Tyme to spend now ? 
 To Squirill Himt with Children and with Pedaunts ? 
 This that Practise th' hadst from thyne Infancie 
 In points of Game and Lawes of woodmanship ! 
 I am ashamed it should be spoken, 
 Wherefore, Christophel, mark thou mee now well. 
 What I am to intimate vnto thee. 
 As lazilye thou hast loytered this day. 
 So shalt thou as lustily be leasht this night, 
 I sweare it by the hed of Delia. 
 And you, my Lords of Eluida, euen as 
 I find you haue ioind you in nuptiall Bands 
 So would I exhort vnity now too. 
 For so the vigor of your loues will be 
 A Bond vnto this golden future tyme, 
 Els lyke to a sheff of Arrowes self vnbound 
 All will fall to Mammocs, Record you this. 
 And say Orion once t' haue told you it. 
 Seme God, obey your Prince, preserue your Game. 
 
 Cho. This your sacred Le9on wee will Imprint sure. 
 
 Or. Rotmdly do you see you leash him first. For 
 This dayes Trespas soundly and roundly too. 
 
 At. It shall be done my Lord, effectually 
 
 Cho. All lawd and thankings to King Orion. A Pawse, 
 
 Or. Now, Faeryes, my good God night to you all. 
 
 Cho. Long Hue Orion, And his worthy Bride. 
 
 Or. And good Fortune vnto all you betyde* • 
 
 •Shewd 
 liim the 
 Squiril 
 taJ^en from 
 one the 
 Pages. 
 
 •Here they 
 shutt both 
 into the 
 Oanopie 
 Fane or 
 Trophey 
 together 
 with the 
 banquet. 
 
ISS THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 At. Come on your wayes, my most venereous and galland Sir. 
 Come on. 
 
 Christ. Goe but you on before wee will follow you, wee stay 
 but for companie to goe along with vs. 
 
 Ht/l. Wee attend you. 
 A Pause. Lear. Sweet wagges, conuert wee now all to the Gentlemen, 
 
 who too long haue expected vs I feare, And listen you to that I 
 shall now intimate to them concerning ourselves. 
 
 Flo. Well sayd, Learchus, Speake you to them in behalf of 
 all. For the Gentlemen all be better pleasd with you then with 
 vs I troe. 
 
 Cam. Beshrowe my hearte but I beUeue you, Florida. 
 
 Fan. But I wiU be sworne on a books for them, Camilla. 
 
 Flo. My feare is, Fancia, that they will not be too well pleased 
 with the men neither. 
 
 Lear. Who so ? sweet Florida. 
 
 Flo. Because they haue beene Three such sheepe as to haue 
 matcht them with vs being Thi'ee such shrewes. 
 
 Lear. Nay nay, wee haue a sure Remedy for that in our 
 Faery Institutions, Lambe. 
 
 Flo. What ? good Learchus, say 
 
 Lear. A Diuorce from Bed and from Boarde, Sweet Mowse. 
 
 Cam. If there be any such lawe vpon the Fyle, I will not 
 forgoe Picus my Lord and my Joye for better nor for worse I 
 voweJ Puu. 
 
 Pic. I do not thank thee though for that thy late vnkindnes 
 toward mee, sweet Camilla. 
 
 Cam. With this strick kisse, see, I do make thee now amends 
 for it, Deare Picus. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 189 
 
 Fan. Nor I in good sadnes la, find I my Horse neuer so 
 restif. 
 
 Hipp. A bargaine is a bargaine they say, so let it rest. 
 
 Lear. What sayes kind Florida to the Match ? 
 
 Flo. Hum Hum. 
 
 Lear. Nay then I see what will become of you before night 
 too by your Humming. But, sweet wagge, interrupt mee no 
 more, I may make now an end with the Gentlemen who do ex- 
 pect vs, loe. 
 
 Flo. Speake, you woodcock. 
 
 Lear. Thus I begin my suite then. Heark and listen all. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Learchus Atys Christophel. 
 
 Lear. How to begin a work none knowes but he 
 That hopes how t' end it, For as in Action 
 The end is last. So in th' Intention 
 Tis euer first, our Ends wee know, Hope first. 
 Next Largesse of your hands. If that T^^ee gaine 
 It serues a Sennet to our Scene, If this 
 A glorious crown of Palmes, But o, the while, 
 Our Merits be too weake, and greife for them 
 In Spines doth growe, what els. The Tooth of Black- 
 Mouthd Spite destroyes. Then since our Luck is such 
 Wee crouch you all by th' old Accustomd spell 
 That Hand but speake that Loues orion well. 
 
 At. Come come Bandog of Molossus, come along, Hoa. 
 
 Christ. If prce, sequar. 
 
i90 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 There was no shouing here of the knaue forward. But they 
 went on before and he followed after. 
 
 Finis 1603 Wolties HiU my Parnassus. 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 191 
 
 AN ALTERATION. 
 Thus for Some or For Powles whither the better. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 4. 
 
 Christ. Quu ■ Now beginneth the charme to 
 
 work, see. 
 
 Dau. A whist. Gentlemen, a whist, And God and 
 S* Sepulcher to boote. 
 
 The Direction. 
 
 He crept into the Hole mentioned in the former Properties, vide 
 locum, and aFowen Trap from within was hearde falln vpon 
 Mm. 
 
 Dau. Helpe, Gentlemen, helpe. 
 
 At. What ayles your worship ? saye. 
 
 Dau. I am fain in the Armes of a 
 
 At. Beauteous Hamadryade ? 
 
 Dau. Villanous Fowen Trap. 
 
 At. There sweetly rest, I beseech. 
 
 Dau. Lend mee but an arme, Sirrha, Ha me out straite. 
 
 At. Alas, Sir, you know wee be bidden furth all to Orion his 
 wedding, which if wee should but now neglect wee be lyke 
 thereby loose our Parts of the Pudding all. 
 
 Dau. Will you not helpe mee ? Gallants. 
 
 At. Heark Heark now The shawmes call away to the Feast, 
 
 Dau. Sapho, youwhoore. 
 
192 THE FAERY PASTORALL, 
 
 Hyl. All that wee may doe for you is but to sing you your 
 Apologie and that you shall haue with our Heartes. 
 Hau. When begin you it. 
 At. Now, Sir. 
 
 Dau. Say on, I beseech you. 
 Hyl. At. Behold, Gentlemen all, this filthy Brock 
 Now has stucken his iolt hed on the Crock, 
 Come Gods, vxdcan, Juno, Neptimus, veste, 
 Spet you all at once on this stinking Beast . 
 Dau. Your Apologie hath hitted mee right. 
 Hyl. At. So, Master Dauid, God giue you god night. 
 Hau. Excellent, as I haue seene. 
 Saph. Or I, in good Sooth. 
 
 Hyl. M"^ Christophel, can you shewe mee a deuice toward 
 taming a Squirill ? 
 
 Christ. Shewe mee but his Phisnomie. 
 At. He would haue you tame him, not take a coppie of him. 
 Christ. Pjrthagoras, before he poured in his Helicon consy- 
 dered the face of his boye. 
 
 At. By same reason you mind giue him a Purge. 
 Christ. Not amisse it would be. 
 Hyl. Loe, Sir. 
 
 Christ. A Terrible Animal he is, He is the first I haue seene 
 in my dayes. Poake him I pray you now, and conueye him 
 hence straite. 
 frSb^-^ Hyl. This was Juditially foreseene of you by my Troth, For 
 ^"^^'^^ a furred Jacket is a Perillous Beast wee all do find, wee all do 
 J^°' find, wee all do assure you, M' Christophel. 
 Acornes ^^^ jjj recompense of the which* wee will bestowe on you a 
 
 pill d. '^ 
 
OR FORREST OF ELUES. 193 
 
 well measurde Peck of our Faery comfits to comfort your labo- 
 rious stomach with them. 
 
 Christ. I do accept of the Benefite, For I suppose my dayes 
 labour hath deserued no lesse. ******* But come away 
 now, after our sport let vs waite on our Masters all. 
 
 Christ. Lupus est in Fabula, Loe yonder they come etccet. 
 
 ACT V SCEN 5. 
 
 Or. Qu Is this a Tyme 
 
 To Squirill-hunt with Harlots and with Pages etccBt. 
 
 Vide locum. 
 
 Againe. 
 
 Or. Qu ' For 
 
 This dayes Trespas, him and his whoore too etccet. 
 
 Vide Locum. 
 
 Againe. 
 
 At. Qu Come on your wayes 
 
 My most venereous and gallant Sirs, Come etccet. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Lear. Quu Loues Orion well. 
 
 At. Come come Bandogs of Molossus come along, Hoa. 
 Christ. Ite, Prce, Sequemur. 
 
 Whither's the whither you may chuse the Better, 
 
 c c 
 
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