LIBRARY UNIVERSITY OF CAUFOKNIA mVElBlOE i\K.-*: DIVERS DITTIES mVERS DITTIES Chiefly written in India WITH APPENDICES BY ALEC M9MILLAN M.A. bengal civil service (retired) WESTMINSTER ARCHIBALD CONSTABLE AND CO. 1895 Edinburgh : T. and A. Constable, Printers to Her Majesty PREFACE Nearly all the verses in this book appeared originally in the Allahabad Pioneer. I am in- debted to the proprietors of that journal for permission to reproduce them in a collected form. And I have the kind permission of the proprietors of London Society to include the lines 'To Bonnie Bell' in my collection. I have a similar permission as regards ' Dido Anglo- Indica ' from the proprietors of the Literary World. As there are a good many references in the verses to experiences familiar to Magistrates and Judges in India, I have thought it not out of place to print as Appendices three papers which have a bearing on their work. These also are repi'oduced, with permission, from the Pioneer. Readers in England, it is hoped, will take an interest in the following types, well-known to PREFACE their countrymen in India ; the callow young Civilian, disappointed at finding that the gorgeous East is not as gorgeous as he had expected (p. 15) ; the Civilian of maturer years, embittered by long waiting for promotion (p, 90) ; the yet older Civilian, encumbered by his too many 'hostages to fortune' (p. 99); the well-worn Spinster, eager for matrimony — an end not so easy of attainment in the India of to-day, when marrying men can run home from Bombay in less than three weeks, and select their partners from the large choice the British Isles afford (p. 77); the Grass Widow (p. 93); the fleeting Globe-trotter (p. 122); the Hindu peasant, patient and obsequious in the presence of autho- rity (p. 32) ; the less common sort of Hindu, a law-breaker by vocation (p. 112); the Hindu undergoing instruction, greatly to his discomfort, in the procedure of an English Court of Justice (p. 43); and the lying Hindu passim (pp. 5, 18, 44, 45, 91, ll6; App. i. and ii.). A. M. VI CONTENTS I. ORIGINAL VERSES WRITTEN IN INDIA Anundorum Borooah PAGE 3 Address to the Wallahs of 1869 15 TTie I(ast Man in Naini Tal 20 The Model Alibi .... 25 The Hakim Bundobust 31 The ^Vohobby Horse 37 Trial by Assessors 43 Disillusion .... 51 The Road to Pepit}'apore 53 II. ORIGINAL VERSES WRITTEN IN ENGLAND 61 To Bonnie Bell _ . 64 The Banner of Cant 66 To a Lady, with a Locket 68 The Tichborne Case 71 A Crux for Lispers . 74 vu CONTENTS III. ADAPTATIONS WRITTEN IN INDIA Song of the Ancient Spin John Anderson and Co. ' Joint ' at Two Score The Widow of Grass The Civilian Obadiahs . Ye Banks and Braes o' Dehra Doon Lament of the Settlement Officers Alun Aheer Dido Anglo-Indica C.S.I, and CLE. Bruce's Address : New Version PAGE 77 86 90 93 96 103 106 112 122 124 126 APPENDICES I. The Alibi of the East II. Justice a la Bridoye for India 128 131 III. Appeal of the Elders in the Strange Case of Susanna : An Ancient Law Report . 136 viu ERRATA. *■ 0.1 " p. X19, bottom line, for "in" read '"an p. 121. top line, for "heart" read "art < o rf » ANUNDORUM BOROOAHi A RHAPSODY IN RHYME Phoebus ! What a name To fill the speaking tnimp of future fame. Byron There is a sound that haunts my ear. That holds me with a spell of power From simset to the day-dawn clear. From dawn until the sunset hour : 'Tis not the blast's autumnal roar, 'Tis not the sound of waters falling, 'Tis no sweet music loved of yore, Lost echoes of the past recalling : ' This was the name of one of the Indian Civil Servants selected at the open competition of 1871. ANUNDORUM BOROOAH 'Tis not the strain that thrills the air At midnight when the bulbul sings ; 'Tis not the name of damsel fair : 'Tis not — a thousand other things. In short, 'tis what you ne'er can guess. Know, then, it 's nothing more or less Than what seven syllables express. The name of that late-passed C.S., Anundorum Borooah ! When Haileybury's hall of fame Fell, scoffed at as an old-world sham, And India's service first became The meed of merit — and of cram — We looked in course of time to see Muir, Lawrence, ranked with Chatterjee. And Colvins alternate with Dutts, And Ghoses elbow Elliotts. ANUNDORUM BOROOAH But vengeful Heaven strike me dumb, If e'er we thought of name so ' rum ' Tam minim, tam magnlficiim As this of thine. Anundorum, Anundorum Borooah ! At morn, when I to court repair. Where day by day on judgment chair. By dint of many a wild surmise, I strive to strike a balance fair Between contending sets of lies. That eerie name pursues me there, Mocked by all sounds that round me rise, Droned in the Amlah's ^ monotone, Blent with each tax appellant's moan, And buzzing with the buzzing flies ! 1 'Amlah' — native clerks who write, and read out, ver- nacular papers. ANUNDORUM BOROOAH My very goose-quill, seized with craze, Half automatically traces Anundorum all kinds of ways, Borooah in all sorts of places : Like Dickens's immortal Toots, A forger innocent of blame, I try how large, how small-hand suits The letters of that wondrous name. How flourished capitals become The signature Anundorum, Anundorum Borooah ! By night, when, swinging o'er my bed. The punkah fans my weary head, Still to the tune Anundorum The waving fringes go and come : And when the coolie drops the rope. And I about my chamber grope, ANUNDORUM BOROOAH Irate but mute, For brush or boot. Or fragments of carbolic soap, Or volumes of fat Law Digest, As missiles to disturb his rest, Then seem, as if by fiends possest Mosquitoes with infernal hum To iterate Anundorum — Anundorum Borooah ! I sleep — that name becomes the theme Of many a changed and troublous dream : Full oft, in fitful slumber tost, I see a battle won and lost. I hear Borooah's dread cognomen Sound fear and death to flying foemen ; Anon returns the conquering host. ANUNDOllUM BOROOAH While thunders every thundering drum Anundorum ! Anundorum ! As home they marcli in victor state, A band of maidens young and gay Comes tripping from the city gate. And some with roses strew the way, Some wave green palms in air, and some On lutes of sounding amber thrum The praises of Anundorum, Anundorum Borooah ! 'Tis past, — my dream is changed, — and now There seems beside my couch to stand. With earnest eyes and thoughtful brow, A Wallah, son of Scotia's land. No Philistine, a child of light. While such as he win India's praise. Still Scotland, as in ancient days, 8 ANUNDORUM BOROOAH May glory in her Wallahs wight ! ^ Who is it but that smart young man, In lore of languages excelling. Of late with a new-fangled plan Let loose to teach all India spelling ? Him do I greet with glamorous glee, ' O mighty Hunter, LL.D ! 2 Let Oude be spelt as heretofore. And Kanhpur still be writ Cawnpore, For I have work more fit for thee : The hour is come, and thou the man Who canst, although none other can, 1 'Wallahs wight.' Wight was an epithet applied to Scot- land's national hero in old ballads and rhyming chronicles — ' O for one hour of Wallace wight.' Scott. - 'Hunter, LL.D.' Now Sir W. W. Hunter, K.C.S.I. He waH one of the earliest Competition Wallahs. His merits aa a statistician and historian arc well known. The Government of India put him in charge of the introduction of a scientific and uniform syHtem of spelling the names of places in India. 9 ANUNDOllUM BOROOAH Resolve this tough conund[e]rum, How shall we spell Anundorum, Aniindorum Borooah?' in shades of visionary mist, With look that's somewhat posed and glum, Down sinks the etymologist, Muttering Anundorum. But, hist ! — What second shape doth rise ? What prescient tremor fills my breast ? O joy ! beyond expression blest, Borooah's self I recognise ! He smiles upon me, calls me ' Pal,' That peerless name 's original In mould corporeal confest ; He deigns with me to talk and jest, To chaff, drink pegs, and all the rest. As man does with his brother men ; lO ANUNDORUM BOROOAH Laughs when I ask, turned Catechist, Who gave in Ueu of M or N That name, most strange, nost barbarous E'er blazoned in a Civil List. Grown bolder, I address him thus : ' You know, my Nundy, tattlers say That, e'er you passed the other day. You played a horoscopic hoax ^ On our good easy English folks. By dropping out an awkward year In counting up your age's sum [The evil-speaking Pioneer Thus hbelleth Anundorum].' The Nundy lists with pricked-up ear, And eyes me with an artful leer ; 1 ' Horoscopic hoax.' A Hindu uses his horoscope as evi- dence of his age. The information contained in horoscopes is not always very exact, and, so far as exact, not always accurate. I I ANUNDORUM BOROOAH Then, parting one hand's finger-tips, He puts unto his nose the thumb. And drops, from scarcely opening hps, One syllable of meaning — mum ! This said — he vanishes, and I Awake and desolately cry, 'Where hast thou fled, my friend, my chum?- Anundorum ! Anundorum ! Anundorum Boi'ooah ! * Thus night by night, thus day by day. That jarring name assails my peace. No charm will drive the pest away. In vain I struggle for release ; The victim of a new disease. To wit, Borooah on the brain, I feel that — not by slow degrees I grow beyond all hope insane : 12 ANUNDORUM BOROOAH Soon, soon will dawn my day of doom. When intellect's remaining spark Shall fail, and leave me in the dark To sink into an early tomb. The friends I leave behind to weep Will raise a tablet — chaste tho' cheap — To mark their grief — at moderate cost — For one so young, so early lost ; And, graven on the marble cold. My piteous tale shall thus be told : — ' Here rests, by trouble vexed no more, The bard of Sabsechotapore ; He lived beloved, he died demented, — Killed by a name of sound more wild Than e'er was for a fork-tailed child In Pandaemonium invented ! Time was he trolled a merry note ; Now death has stilled liis tuneful throat. 13 ANUNDORUM BOROOAH Has bid his lyric lips be dumb ; Woe worth the day that weird sound smote On his astounded tympanum ! Then, traveller, pause, let fall a tear, And backwards read recorded here The name of doom, the name of fear, Anundorum, Anundorum ! The king of sounds, uncouth and queer. Of all that can revolt the ear, Cacophonous compendium, Anundorum Borooah, Anundorum, Anundorum, Anundorum Borooah ! ' 14 ADDRESS TO THE WALLAHS OF 1869 BY A [comparatively] OLD WALLAH [Fifty Competition Wallahs were selected in 1869. Four of them^ one named Gupta and three others, were natives of India.] Of schools, of cramming dens the choice, O Wallahs new, a goodly band, Fain would I lift a warning voice To turn you from this promised land. I speak not to the Hindus four, The gifted Gupta and the rest ; Let them breathe Indian air once more, It 's bad enough to suit them best. 15 ADDRESS TO THE WALLAHS OF 1869 But you, ye forty-six, give ear, Who now in days of ease enjoy The praise of friends and parents dear, Exulting in their darling boy : List, list to me, while still there 's time. Ere yet you tempt the Indian shore, Nor spurn, though couched in homely rhyme. His warning who has gone before. Go starve as usher in a school, Go study briefless at the bar. Or mount a merchant's office stool. Or don the scarlet garb of war : Go cultivate the Grub Street Muse, Go preach for forty younds a year. Go sweep a crossing, cobble shoes. But don't, my brethren, don't come here ! l6 ADDRESS TO THE WALLAHS OF I869 'Twas but three fleeting years ago I passed the ordeal dread like you. And panted, all my heart aglow. To rule with love the mild Hindoo ; My step was light, my arm was strong. The pride of hope lit up my brow ; I dreamt of glory all day long : Such was I then — behold me now ! Here in a dried-up desert spot. To white heat burnt by India's sun. Six lonely wights bemoan their lot, All banished men, and I am one. No more for me the zest, the charm. That hopes of praise and fame inspire ; In fact I find it far too warm To set old Gunga Jee ^ on fire. ' ' Gunga Jee '—the river GangcH. 17 B ADDRESS TO THE WALLAHS OF I869 All day I swelter in my chair, Administ'i"ing the law's redress, Bewildered, dazed, provoked to swear By jierjured ' clouds of witnesses.' Lord ! how they lie, unmoved by fear Of all their million ugly gods ; I make out scarcely half I hear. But then it's lies, so what's the odds? What remnant Fund deductions spare, Unmulcted, of my monthly pay, My bearer and Khansamah share ; It's got and gone the self-same day. My liver hour by hour expands. The syces eat my horse's gram,^ The merc'ry o'er a hundred stands. And I 've to read for next exam. 1 ' Gram ' — a sort of pea on which horses are fed in India in place of oats. 18 ADDRESS TO THE WALLAHS OF I869 My ruddy cheeks have long grown pale Beneath the sun's relentless fire, I dare not drink a glass of ale^ And those damned seniors won't retire. Black scorpions infest my shoes. Ants batten on my best-loved books. And last home mail brought out the news My Maud had wed that blockhead Snooks. Then I have fever at odd times, By way of change from prickly heat ; I could not in a thousand rhymes The list of India's ills complete. Mosquitoes fell are left unsung. Official flouts, and snubs, and kicks ; O listen to my warning tongue, And stay at home, ye forty-six ! 19 THE LAST MAN IN NAINI TAL Naini Tal is a favourite hill station in the N(»rth-VVest Provinces. Its fashionable season closes early in November. 'Tis chilly eve as forth I stray, A lonely pilgrim sad and slow. And one by one the scenes survey, So changed since six short weeks ago. The club is hushed ; no roisterers come And throng its festal board at eight. And throw the rude but harmless crumb, Or hurl the not quite harmless plate.^ 1 'The not quite harmless plate.' It is only fair to say that an isolated incident is referred to here. Plate-propelling is not a customary dinner-table pastime in the Naini Tal Club. 20 THE LAST MAN IN NAINI TAL The servants with the sahibs are fled : A last lone kit, — there 's left but one,- VVith shameless and unturbaned head Sits out to catch the evening sun. Now on the Mall no dandies throng, Nor shapely damsels spur apace ; Save when some coolie plods along You cannot see a human face. No orderly in red and gold Sets down his box of ' urgent files/ And, heedless though the day grows old, With loitering ayah chats and smiles. The lake is cold and bleak and bare ; No toiling crews of rival fours, Steered by the hands of coxswains fair. Upturn the wave with gleaming oars. 21 THE LAST MAN IN NAINI TAL No paired canoers, side by side Close drifting in the gloaming dim, Make passing oarsmen, Argus-eyed, Take curious note of her and him. The libraiy no sound doth stir ; No lovers in its furtive nooks Their own low whispered talk prefer To all that 's writ in prosy books. Hushed is the stage where many a night Our actors, Thespian vot'ries true. Their own dear selves did much delight. And [sometimes] pleased their audience too. No more to Morrison's repair Stray buyers, tempted as they pass, No longer on his weighing-chair Sits portly dame or lissome lass ; 22 THE LAST MAN IN NAINI TAL The spins, ' unprofitably gay/ Who glittered all the season through, Spins^ as they came have gone their way; In Naini Tal they mostly do ! Whether they have themselves to blame, Some over fast, some too sedate. Or frisky matrons spoil their game, Let graver pens than mine debate ; Howe'er that be, October sere Has closed the season's good and ill ; The last fond lapdog cavalier Has seen his lady down the hill. ' 'SpinB.' Unmarricil and [more or less] marriageable ladies arc called .siniis in India — short for spinsters. 23 THE LAST MAN IN NAINI TAL No more as in the six months past These hills a moving drama show ; I 've marked its phases to the last. The curtain's falFn, it 's time to go. Hi, bearer ! I '11 no longer stay ; Haste to the thana/ coolies call ; The setting of to-morrow's day Must see me far from Naini Tal. ^ ' Thana ' — police station. 24 THE MODEL ALIBI. By Jones of the Thinner Temple. [See Appendix L] 'TwAS brought to me by Kumbukht Khan, A rising young Mukhtar, And Rummun Lai, the smartest man In all the Hindu bar. They said : ' This Alibi behold, A model of its kind ' ; Its flawless beauty they extolled. With care and art designed, And vowed its finish was so fine, Wrought out in such a sort, No hand less skilled, less light than mine. Could take it up in Court. 25 THE MODEL ALIBI ' But is it genuine,' said I, ' No put up thing, you know ? ' With ready smile they made reply : * We are instructed so.' ' That's right — instructions always plead ; They fence our honour in — A very useful fence indeed, Though sometimes rather thin.' The case was one of murder red, A Banya stabbed and slain ; For this the kin who mourned him dead Did Bundur Singh arraign. Now Bundur ne'er in all his life — So my instructions ran — Had raised his hand, far less a knife. To smite a fellow-man. 26 THE MODEL ALIBI The deed, besides, at Sonk was done. And Bundur on that day To Tonk had sped ere rose the sun. Good twenty miles away. At dawn a pair of country kine He bought in Tonk Bazaar, At Tonk Dispensaiy at nine Got dosed for a catarrh ; At noon with Tonk's most rev'rend priest He stayed for midday rest. At sunset at a birthday feast Sat down, an honoured guest ; At night with trusty cousins twain, He slept at Tonk Serai, Next day by train went lionic ag;iin : A lovely Alibi ! 27 THE MODEL ALIBI I took it to the Sessions Judge, But, though I talked my best. He seemed to hear with Hstless ear. Nor looked the least impressed. The model Alibi in vain I lauded to the skies : The Judge was stone — it found, 'twas plain. No favour in his eyes. With rough rude hand, with rough rude wit. He held it up to view : Its joinings delicately knit He poked, his fingers through ; And as he scanned it o'er and o'er He said, ^ It 's not amiss. But I 've seen Alibis ten score, As good — or bad — as this.' 28 THE MODEL ALIBI And then that peerless Alibi Right out of doors he flung, And doomed poor Bundur Singh to die, By cord and noose up strung ! No matter ! Art that 's exquisite Strikes not the purblind eye ; As lower Courts are dull of sight I'll seek the Court that's Hiffh. '&' The Weekly Notes will scraps provide My model to repair. And Full Bench rulings well applied Will patch each rent and tear. The good old Court, I know, will say The Sessions Judge was wrong To treat in such a scoffing way An Ahbi so strong. 29 THE MODEL ALIBI With mazy windings, in and out. They '11 argue con and pro. Then rule there 's room at least for doubt, And let my Bundur go. And Bundur free a good round fee Will surely not deny : And blithe we'll join in blessing thee My own, my Alibi ! 30 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST ' Men may come and men may go, But I go on for ever.' ' He was not for an age, but for all time.' Hakim Buudobust means Settlement Officer, that is to say, an officer who assesses the revenue to be paid to Government by owners of land. These verses were originally published in the Pioneer with the following preamble : — 'There is a district in these provinces in which a meritorious officer, under colour of making a periodi- cal settlement of the land revenue, has, to all appear- ances, permanently settled himself. His operations have already been jtrolonged beyond the ordinary term, yet there is no sign of their drawing to a close. The native inhabitants of the district have become gradually impressed with the idea that no living man 31 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST will see the completion of the settlement. When they wish to express that a particular debt will never be recovered, they say it will be paid " when the settle- ment is finished. " The common feeling of the people on the subject has found expression in a kind of rude prophetic poem, the work of some village genius. Of the original Ilindee of that poem the following stanzas are a tolerably literal translation. It is commonly sung at funeral ceremonies by the kinsmen of the deceased, and nothing can be more inexpressibly touching than the weary and monotonous wail with whicli the baud of mourners take up the refrain. Once heard it is not likely to be forgotten. ' Young Buggoo, king of scarecrow boys. Stands sentry o'er his father's grain. And screams all day with might and main, Exulting in the noise : But see ! why doth he turn about. Forget his charge, and cease to shout ? 32 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST It is because the Sahib comes. The serious Sahib, staid and slow, Who plods the village to and fro. And jots down notes and tots up sums- The Hakim Bundobust. II Ten years see Buggoo grown a man : Of all the reapers, ten abreast. He wields the busy sickle best, And deftly leads the van. But see ! why doth he stay his hand. And rev'rently attentive stand ? It is because the Sahib comes. The serious Sahib, staid and slow. Who plods the village to and fro. And jots down notes and tots up sums- The Hakim Bundobust. 33 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST III Old age has grizzled Biiggoo's head ; His years of lusty labour done. Now sits he dreaming in the sun Of youth for ever fled : But see ! he opes his half-shut eyes, And strains his aching limbs to rise. It is because the Sahib comes. The serious Sahib, staid and slow, Who plods the village to and fro. And jots down notes and tots up sums — The Hakim Bundobust. IV Old Buggoo 's dead. His sons their sire Swift to the holy river take, And singe him for their conscience' sake With scantly fuelled fire. 34 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST Then launch him in the waters — there To float in peace, nor longer care Though still the self-same Sahib comes, The serious Sahib^ staid and slow. Who plods the village to and fro, And jots down notes and tots up sums — The Hakim Bundobust. The changing seasons come and go : The Buggoos whom we looked upon But yesterday, to-day are gone ; But this we surely know. Till our eyes too in death grow dim We ne'er shall see the last of him Who still, interminably slow. Plods, plods the village to and fro, 35 THE HAKIM BUNDOBUST And jots down notes and tots up sums, Who never, like the drought and rust, Desisteth, but unfaihng comes — The Hakim Bundobust. 36 THE VVOHOBBY HORSE [In 1871 Dr. Hunter — see one of the notes to ' Anun- dorum Borooah ' — published a book in which Mohammedans of the Wahabi sect were repre- sented as very terrible and dangerous persons. An effective reply to Dr. Hunter's views was written by Syed Ahmad Khan, now Sir Syed Ahmad, a respected member of the Mohammedan community.] O ONCE there lived a hunter. Who wrought a cruel joke ; He built a big Wohobby horse To scare douce, honest folk. Its shape in carven timber All hollow he expressed, As one who knew the adage true — ' Things hollow sound the best.' 37 THE WOHOBBY HORSE And next, like Greek Apelles, He painted it so well, It looked a steed of demon breed Just fresh arrived from h — 11. Its flanks of raven darkness Were dashed with gouts of blood ; Like steel of proof, each shining hoof, Belied the hollow wood. Thick smoke from out its nostrils wide Or seemed to come or came ; It glared with anger, fiery-eyed ; Its mane and tail were flame. And when the beast was ready The hunter it bestrode, And, flushed with pride, did wildly ride All down the Mecca road. 38 THE WOHOBBY HORSE Was never steed so 'vvilful ! No rein would hold it in : O'er rock it dashed, through mire it plashed, With dire portentous din, And, marvel of all marvels That ever yet was known, No other force impelled its course But empty wind alone ! And folk in crowds came running The loud turmoil to hear, And eyed agape the grisly shape And shook with boding fear. But so it chanced thereafter That rain began to pour, And drenched, alack ! the charger's back And marred the dyes it wore. 39 THE WOHOBBY HORSE Its wooden knees protruded bare No longer glorious-hued ; Its ribs of deal were seen to stare Unlovely, ' in the nude.' In short, of all its lies undressed. Its tints all disarrayed, It stood to ev'ry eye confessed A wretched wooden jade. This sudden change beholding That came the monster o'er. The gazing crowd laughed long and loud. Nor quaked in terror more. And up there rose a Syed, A sage with hoary head (They called him Khan, a canny man). And this was what he said — 40 THE WOHOBBY HORSE ' Get do^v^l, get down, Sir Hunter, From that Wohobby beast : You ride apace a wild-goose chase. Nor know your road the least. ' 'Tis sham, your art fantastic. That specious outward seems ; — Your horse, I wis, a nightmare is, Its rider 's daft, and dreams. ' Be wise, and to your own Bengal Return, nor hold it true. That who has drawn a black Southal Can paint Wohobbies too.' Thus did the Syed counsel ; But, after, what befell, Or what, thus chid, the hunter did. My story fails to tell. 41 THE WOHOBBY HORSE But all whom dyed Wohobbies please, Mark you the moral plain. And ride beneath your own roof-trees- Not outside in the rain. 42 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS FRAGMENT OF AN UNPUBLISHED DRAMA ' The Court shall require each of the Assessors to state his opinion orally, and shall record such opinion. The Judge shall not be bound to conform to the opinions of the Assessors.' — Code of Criminal Procedure. 'While avoiding prolixity, a Sessions Judge should be careful to be intelligible and precise in recording the opinions of Assessors,' — High Court Circular. THE JUDGE Sir Assessor Gunga Singh, Yawning, dozing, fidgeting. With a bored and weary air. Sir Assessor Mukhun Ham, Writhing with uneasy ham On an unaccustomed chair, 43 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS The end of these proceedings slow Is near, as you '11 rejoice to know : And, all else done, 'tis now your place To state your views upon the case : They matter not one little d — n, Gunga Singh and Mukhun Ram, But seeing that the law expects This effort from your intellects. State your verdict, have your fling, Mukhun Ram and Gunga Singh. The charge is murder, rank, blood-red : Five Chumars on oath have said That Poorun Thakur, the accused. Because Duleep Chumar refused To weed his cane-field, smote him dead With murd'rous axe-blow on the head. 44 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS This tragedy took place, they swore, At dawn of day in Toodulpore. The time they told this tale of blood You, Mukhun Ram, in absent mood Were scratching with a fatuous grin The ancient boilmarks on your shin. Next came the case for the defence : Thakurs ten gave evidence That on the day this blood was shed Poorun in the morning grey Miles from Toodulpore away, Miles beyond the Jumna far. Was buying at the Dhond Bazaar A milk-white cow with one ear red. While thus the Thakurs ten deposed You, Gunga Singh, serenely dozed, 45 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS Till, starting up with smothered snore, You nearly tumbled on the floor. The testimony, pro and con. Exercise your minds upon. And to this question answer, say, Is Poorun guilty ? Yea or nay ? Shall he be absolved or swing, Mukhun Ram and Gunga Singh ? ASSESSOR MUKHUN RAM What can this humble slave reply Except JO kooch kuzoor ka rai?- ASSESSOR GUNGA SINGH And what decide this bondsman poor But only just jo rai huzoor.^ 1 'Jo kooch huzoor ka rai.' 'Jo rai huzoor.'— Whatever is the opinion of your Highness. 46 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS THE JUDGE Very much surprised I am, Gunga Singh and Mukhun Ram ; This is a most shocking thing, Mukhun Ram and Gunga Singh : What think you will the High Court say. If in this abject, doltish way You make your function high a sham, Gunga Singh and Mukhun Ram ? Make another effort, pray, And haste, for time is on the wing, And when the Court adjourns to-day It has a tennis match to play, Mukhun Ram and Gunga Singh. [The Assessors consult logelher.] 47 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS BOTH ASSESSORS These suppliants now would crave to tell Their verdict to the Presence. THE JUDGE Well ? ASSESSOR MUKHUN RAM The milk-white cow if Poorun bought 'Twas some one else the murder wrought. ASSESSOR GUNGA SINGH But if 'twas he, we think as how It's plain he didn't buy the cow. BOTH ASSESSORS And one thing most of all is clear . . . 48 TRIAL BY ASSESSORS THE JUDGE I 'm all attention, let me hear. BOTH ASSESSORS The milk-white com had one red ear ! THE JUDGE Assessors, with due meed of praise Your verdict sage I must commend : Like two-edged sword, it cuts both ways And has a keen and pointed end. Engrossed on creamy foolscap fair I '11 send it to the High Court — there The upright Judge whom men call Straight^ Will give it due regard and weight * 'Whom men call Straight.'— Mr. Justice Straight, for some years a I'uisne Judge in the Allahabad High Court ; now Sir Douglati Straight. 49 D TRIAL BY ASSESSORS Or e'er in Poorun's case he saith The final word, release or death. And now, my friends, you may depart, I thank you both with all my heart, And trust that fortune still may bring. As oft as on the bench I sit Assessors as approved and fit, Assessors of as searching wit As Mukhun Ram and Gunga Singh. Note. — In Sessions Districts in India into which trial by jury has not been introduced the Legislature inflicts on Judges the burden of the presence of Assessors. The Assessors would much rather be at their own homes than in the Judge's cutcherry. Their opinions and reasons are often so foolish that it is the merest waste of time to record them. In what are looked upon as advanced districts, jury- men sit with the Judge instead of Assessors. Jurymen are sometimes as foolish as Assessors, and they can do much more harm ; for whereas the Judge need not conform to the opinion of Assessors, he is bound by law to give judgment in accordance with the verdict — however foolish or perverse — of a jury. 50 DISILLUSION These verses appeared in The Pioneer with the following heading : — 'The indefatigable Head of the Police in these Provinces has issued a circular of twenty-three pages on the subject of the dress and equipment of "The Force." The following passages are extracted from two pages of minute description of the Full Dress Uniform Coat : — " Two pleats under the breast pockets to give shape to the waist and fulness to the breast. . . . Coat to be lined with khaki Italian cloth, quilted on the chest and under the arms. . . . Price, Rs. 25 ; procurable from Ilaji Xur Bakhsh, Hazratganj, Lucknow."' With look of pride upon his face He stood, like martial hero drest ; Well pleased I marked each manly grace. And most of all his ample chest. 51 DISILLUSION I saw and loved ; but, woe is me ! The charms that caught my dazzled eyes Were those that for a modest fee A shop in Hazratganj supplies. A sham my padded hero's heart By quilted pleating overlaid. Not nature gave him shape, but art, — His swelling chest was tailor-made. Ye maids, who pine for love and truth, A sister's warning voice believe ; Beware the gallant peeler youth, He charms, but oh ! his charms deceive. 52 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE AX IDYLL OF CAMP LIFE IN INDIA 'Frequent and unreserved intercourse with all classes of the community is most necessary for the efficient performance of a Collector's duties. Nothing tends more to promote this than the habit of constantly moving about the district during the cold season.' — Directions for Collectors, para. 25. It was long years ago, when ciitcherry was done, As I wandered from camp with my dog and ray gun. The fields for a shot to explore, A comeliest damsel I chanced to espy All under the shade of a tamarind high On tiie road to Pepityapore. 53 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE In the stately repose of a ripe womanhood, With the grace of a goddess of Hellas she stood. And the glory of summers a score, Fronting the sun that to setting was nigh, All under the shade of a tamarind high. On the road to Pepityapore. So proud was her presence, so winsome her air, That drawn by the glamour of vision so fair, My purpose of sport I forebore ; And to see her the nearer and hear her reply, I asked her the road from that tamarind high To the town of Pepityapore. A saree of blue with a border of red Made a robe for her figure, a hood for her head. The only apparel she wore ; 54 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE And frankly she answered, not shrinking and shy. When I asked her the road from that tamarind high To the town of Pepityapore. Rude trinkets and poor on the dark of her arm, — Its hue as of bronze, but a bronze glowing warm, — Shone bright as the costliest ore ; And never flashed gem like her dark beaming eye, All under the shade of the tamarind high, On the road to Pepityapore. Her speech was a patois, mine learnt out of books. So we talked less by words than the language of looks. And it took us an hour, ay and more, 55 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE While swiftly, too swiftly, the time seemed to fly. As she taught me, all under the tamarind high. The road to Pepityapore. But sudden at last, with a gesture of fear, She whispered, ' See yonder, my husband is near. Depart ere he comes, I implore.' Thus bidden, I breathed but a hasty good-bye, And left her alone by the tamarind high. On the road to Pepityapore. The husband approached ; he was dhotied ^ and grey, I watched from afar as he led her away. And plainly perceived that he swore, 1 ' Dhotied.' — This is not a misprint for ' doted.' A dhoti is a garment worn by all Hindus, and it is the favourite, and often the only, wear of the jjoorer classes. 56 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE In a fret and a fume at the wherefore and why Of her lagging so late by the tamarind high On the road to Pepityapore. Next evening again, when cutcherry was done, I followed, nor called for my dog or my gun, The path of the evening before ; But vainly I watched till the stars lit the sky. She came not again to the tamarind high. On the road to Pepityapore. It was long years ago ; what her lot may now be I know not, nor ever shall know — as for me, I 'm tied to a wife — she 's a bore ; And I 've never told her, and I don't mean to try, Of the damsel I met by the tamarind high, On the road to Pepityapore. 57 THE ROAD TO PEPITYAPORE But often in camp when the day's work is sped. As I sit by my fire with the stars overhead, Old memories pondering o'er, I think of the lass with the dark beaming eye, And swear to hold dear till I drivel or die That sweetest of hours by the tamarind high, On the road to Pepityapore. ['The Road to Pepityapore' has been set to music by Captain T. H. Bairnsfather, IX Punjdb Infantry, and pub- lished by Messrs. Alfred Hays and Co., Old Bond Street.] 58 II ORIGINAL VERSES WRITTEN IN ENGLAND A DRINKING SONG Come, lads, join in with chorus strong, Let care be flung aside, While we in joys of Avine and song All mortal dole deride. Behold the toiling human race. By fevered hopes possest ; Delusions vain intent to chase, They know nor peace nor rest. The lover for a maiden bums, And sighs his life away, Or rues when humdrum Hymen turns His goddess into clay. 6l A DRINKING SONG The poet pines for laurelled fame. His cankered brow to bind ; His quest is but an empty name, That fleeteth as the wind. The sage weighs down his weary brain With load of leaden lore, That later men may reap the gain Of all he toils to store. ' Gold ! Gold ! More gold ! ' the miser cries. Of nobler aims devoid, And, dying, looks with anguished eyes On riches unenjoyed. The shallow preacher wastes his breath ; Fond guide of fools as fond, He fain would raise the veil of death, And bare its dark beyond. 62 A DRINKING SONG When all the best is preached and said. Or truth or guesses bold. What worth has love to charm the dead. Or lore, or fame, or gold ? On us no dogmas grim intrude, No priests our peace annoy ; Short is our creed — that Joy is Good, And Wine 's the Spring of Joy ! In life we chase no bubbles vain. In death we find no fear, Whate'er its unknown deeps contain. At least we 're happy here. So lads, join in with chorus strong, Let care be flung aside. While we in joys of wine and song All mortal dole deride ! 63 TO BONNIE BELL When first I knew thee, Bonnie Bell, Thy cheek with Nature's roses glowed, The ffolden locks I loved so well In unadorned luxuriance flowed ; Thy gentle eyes of heaven's own hue Threw glances innocent of art, And mirrored in their depths of blue Each movement of thy guileless heart. But all is changed now, Bonnie Bell — That piled up hair, those clust'ring curls, With store of borrowed tresses swell That once were some poor peasant girl's ; 64 TO BONNIE BELL The stain of carmine ill supplies The banished grace of blushes red ; And where truth only lit thine eyes False belladonna gleams instead. When first I loved thee, Bonnie Bell, And for ray love no favour found. My heart sustained the anguish fell Of what I deemed a deadly wound ; But since I 've seen thine every charm Debased into a painted lie, I feel my heart is healed from harm, And bid my pain and thee good-bye. 65 THE BANNER OF CANT The many are wicked, and we are the saints. Whose merits a sweet self-complacency paints ; Mankind to make moral we burn and we pant Who follow devoted the banner of Cant. We care not for logic ; we make no pretence To temper our zeal with discretion or sense ; If you challenge our aims we don't reason, we rant, Who follow devoted the banner of Cant. We care much for virtue ; the sum of our care Is to hunt vice from one place and drive it else- where ; We care not to kill it, we only transplant. Who follow devoted the banner of Cant. 66 THE BANNER OF CANT We care not for Freedom, our Puritan rule Treats grown men and women like children at school, And we break in on mirth with our shriek resonant. Who follow devoted the banner of Cant. We care not for toilers who slave for their bread. Their pleadings for pity, the tears they may shed ; Our virtue's abundant, our charity scant, While we follow devoted the banner of Cant. Our evangel is this, that each Pharisee fad Shall have sway as a touchstone of good and of bad; Of this gospel let each be a hierophant Who follows devoted the banner of Cant. <37 TO A LADY WITH A LOCKET I SEND thee, love, a keepsake curl. Encased in gold, with stones of pearl And turquoise set, — not in the thought The gift itself containeth aught That 's worthy her to whom 'tis sent. But rather in the fond intent That pearl and turquoise, gold and hair. May each a hidden meaning bear ; The yellow ore 's the sign I hold Thy love more dear than priceless gold ; The stainless pearls in symbol say My flame for thee is pure as they : 68 TO A LADY The emblem stones of lucent blue Recall by their ethereal hue The dome serene of heaven above, That frowns on lovers false to love : And as this rock of raven shade Will never change its hue or fade, Though age may blanche all snowy white The head it left but yesternight. E'en thus by time, by absence tried. Unchanging shall my faith abide. Know, then, my gift in every part. By fancy and affection's art. Designed to make thee think at times Upon the singer of these rhymes. Oh ! wear it still thine own heart near, From day to day, from year to year, And shouldst thou ever — O the bliss ! — Imprint upon the gold a kiss. 69 TO A LADY Then shall my heart with gladness dance, For surely by love's clairvoyance (Though rivers wide, though mountains high, And miles of earth between us lie) Fleet wafted shall the message be, My love, my love, remembers me ! And I shall prove as truly mine The joy most near to joys divine Of all by God vouchsafed to men — To love and to be loved again ! 70 THE TICHBORNE CASE [These stanzas were wTitten when Ballautine and Coleridge (afterwards Lord Coleridge) were en- gaged against one another in the Tichborue- Orton case.] This Ballantine and Orton tale That gives the dailies ready sale, The ceaseless topic (slightly stale) We day by day discourse on, Recalls a story — lang, lang syne, A well-thumbed favourite of mine — About a gentle Valentine Who had a brother Orson. n THE TICHBORNE CASE The older tale my childhood knew In bold, effective colours drew Two pictures of contrasted hue, A graceful and a coarse one : So the lost heir of Tichborne lands, Depicted by two master hands, Before our eyes alternate stands — Now Valentine, now Orson. Hear Ballantine : Young Roger's shown A boy with low associates thrown, A loutish lad, a lout upgrown. As drunk, by whiles, as Porson. Hear Coleridge : He 's a pleasing youth. Who studied books and spoke the truth — A kind of Valentine, in sooth. Or more like him than Orson, 72 THE TICHBORNE CASE This limner draws with matchless art A contrast, that a counterpart To one whom, butcher born or Bart,, Good men should shut their doors on; Tichborne or Orton, known for sure In ways an Orson and a boor, Without the heart from baseness pure That gave a grace to Orson. n A CRUX FOR LISPERS Seth loves Susie, Susie Seth, Yet each the other freezeth : "Tis Seth is shy,' doth Susie sigh, ''Tis Susie's icy/ he saith, [The above may be regarded as a pendant to ' I saw Esau kissing Kate,' etc., quoted in Appendix i.] 74 Ill ADAPTATIONS AVRITTEN IN INDIA SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN [See note to ' The Last Man in Naini Tal ' for mean- ing of ' Spin. '] ' Alacke ! a many more like her Doc pant with craving fonde To weather bleake Cape Spinisterre And rest in Hymen's harbour faire That heth calm beyonde.' Quarrelette of Quippcs : John Southcliffe. With a brow of unwomanly brass And a Irisle but tearless eye, A lady sat at her toilet ^lass As the dinner-hour drew nigh : 77 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN Her looks were a little the worse for wear And her voice rang treble and thin. As she sang, with a weary and desolate air, The Song of the Ancient Spin. ' To smirk, smirk, smirk. For a lover, a ring, and a roof; To smirk, smirk, smirk. Is my task for each fool's behoof; To rattle and rally and laugh In an airily girlish strain. And to bandy outworn, witless chaff With each bachelor dolt inane. ' And to flirt, flirt, flirt. With each casual random " him," Be he handsome or plain, be he silly or sane, Be he Charley, or Harry, or Jim ; 78 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN Whate'er be the manner of man, Be he soldier, civilian, or priest, If he's only a male in society's pale. Naught else is of moment the least. ' Unstinted on every one My catholic smiles are shed, On widowers mourning and lone. On bachelors waiting to wed ; And at times with your Benedicks tame — 'Tis in sooth but a venial sin — I flirt without aim, save for love of the game, To keep my hand well in. ' Yet no goal for my striving appears. And my mirror, with pitiless truth. Shows ever the more of the ravage of years. Shows less of the glory of youth. 79 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN Ah ! 'tis well when one's bloom is so hard to keep, And one's hair wears sparse and sear. That natural tresses are held so cheap. And that fringes don't sell dear. * My labour never doth slack, And what are its gains, all told : That I 'm chilled by the sneer of your dames severe. Who brand me as brazen and bold ; That I 'm mocked at by men in a thou- sand of ways. And know that behind my back They call me the Light of other Days, They dub me the Station Hack. 80 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN ' And to-day came in, mincing, to call, Mary Blossom, a seven weeks' bride, And harped on her house and her husband and all. Till I felt myself brimming with angry gall At the doll-faced matron's pride ; It was more, I swear, than a saint could stand. When the little conceited thing Got toying one flabby and gloveless hand To twit me with her ring. ' Yet I smirk — smirk — smirk In the ball-room's garish light, .'Neath the preacher's eye ul kirk, On the tennis lawn sun-bright. 8i SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN At kirk, or tennis, or ball, Ball, or tennis, or kirk, I smirk as I play, as I dance — if I pray I sink on my knees with a smirk. ' Woe 's me for the time bygone, When my 'teens were scarce sped through. And my cheek that is now so blanched and wan Glowed red with an English hue ; When I numbered my gallants a score, And a wooer or two in the throng, — But I cast them all by and sat waiting for more. Till I waited, alas ! too long. ' Came one with a fair young face, Harry Dare of the Onety-Oneth, But my dreams were of riches and place, And he hadn't two hundred a month ; 82 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN So I silenced his suit with a "No," Half sorry, half proud of his pain, Indulged in sweet penitent woe For a week — and went flirting again. ' Then he was all unknown. Now he has earned a name. And the praise of his valour is proudly shown On the glittering rolls of fame ; — And he 's married — for time saw peace return To his soul, and another gained The treasure of love I was thriftless to spurn. The heart that I disdained. ' I saw them one festival day, Ilini and his bride, the twain. And I watched them by stealth till I turned away With a sickened and reeling brain : «3 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN For I thought of old memories lost and dead. And of all that might have been. Till I hated that other who stood in my stead For her happy and smiling mien. ' Thus Pride is punished by Fate, And the Nemesis comes with time On the maiden who rueth all too late The waste of her misused prime ; When her summers tide on to the triple of ten. And she 's banned by the general voice As despised and rejected of men. And a spinster not by choice. ' Oh for but one shoi*t hour ! A respite, however brief, From a life that hath neither love nor hope, Nor one ennobling grief! 84 SONG OF THE ANCIENT SPIN A little weeping would ease my soul, But the tears must never be shed, For how could I play the Siren's role With eyelids heavy and red ? ' With a brow of unwomanly brass, And a triste but tearless eye, The lady rose from her toilet glass, Sighing a deep-drawn sigh : O'er many a wretch the blue skies bend In this weariful world of sin, But few be there ever — so Heaven forfend !- Weary as she, without hope, without friend. Singing, and fated to sing to the end, The Song of the Ancient Spin. 85 JOHN ANDERSON AND CO. The penniless Poet is dunned. He appealeth to the Purveyor. Air — 'John Anderson, my jo.' In the earlier 'Seventies Anderson and Co. were a well- known Calcutta firm, dealing in tinned proA'isions and other necessaries of Indian housekeeping. John Anderson an' Co., John, When we were first acquent. On wares o' thine sae dainty My siller fain was spent ; But noo my siller 's gane, John, My credit 's unco low, Ye maunna fash me sair for cash, John Anderson an' Co. 86 JOHN ANDERSON AND CO. John Anderson an' Co., John, A paction let us mak, For a' the wares ye send me In rhyme I '11 pay ye back ; As with a trumpet-blast, John, Thy fame abroad I '11 blow. Till far an' near the warl' shall hear Of Anderson an' Co. Thy hams in cunning tins, John, How passing sweet and prime ! Thy name will keep as sweet for aye, Enshrined in living rhyme ; And down to days unborn, John, In glory blent will go The minstrel's lays, the minstrel's praise Of Anderson an' Co. 87 JOHN ANDERSON AND CO The Purveyor maketh answer to the Poet. He encloseth his bill — tiventy-first application. We've got your screed o' rhymes, lad, But haith ! they *re no' the thing ; Nae sweetest note frae Poet's throat Outpeers the siller's ring. Frae a' that eat our stores, lad. We ask a quid pro quo ; The price you bid 's nae tempting quid To Anderson an' Co. Your name may gang alane, lad. To fame o' unborn days ; Let ours stand weel wi' ilka chiel That lives and eats — and pays ; And a' that canna pay, lad. Our wares had best forego They '11 draw nae ruth for purseless mooth Frae Anderson an' Co. 88 JOHN ANDERSON AND CO So never mair essay, lad, Wi' wild poetic throes In crambo clink our name to link — We advertise in prose ; Ye 've made an offer plain, lad. As plain 's the answer — No ! Rhymes winna please like white rupees John Anderson an' Co. The Poet teareth his hair and the bill. Curtain. 89 'JOINT' AT TWO SCORE [An Indian civilian in the North-Western Provinces begins his official career by being an Assistant Magistrate and Collector, or Stunt. After that he is a Joint (that is to say, Joint Magistrate), or Junt, and then a District Magistrate and Collector, or Burra Sahib, that is to say. Great Sahib. Stunt, Junt, and Burra Sahib are terms used by natives, and they have been adopted to a great extent, like many other native renderings of English words and phrases, by Englishmen in India. ' Stunt ' or ' Istunt ' is the nearest approach an illiterate native can make (and they are nearly all illiterate) to the proper pronunciation of the word Assistant. 'Griff' is a Griffin, or newly-arrived youngster, fresh and green. These verses were written at a time when the prospects of ' Joints ' in the North- Western Provinces were terribly black,] Air — ' Ho ! little page with dimpled chin.' Ho ! little Stunt, with down-fledged chin, Happy and hopeful, ruddy of cheer. 90 'JOINT' AT TWO SCORE All your wish is Gloiy to win, This is the way that GrifFs begin, Wait till you come to Forty Year. Panting to rise by prowess of brains, Hearing of wrong with no callous ear, List'ning with faith and patient pains When lying Gungadeen complains, — Wait till you come to Forty Year. Twenty years o'er a Stunt's head pass. Fiery suns his young heart sear — Sigheth he then, toil-spent : ' Alas ! Zeal befitted a green young ass. Rest is better for Forty Year.' Pledge me round, i bid ye declare, 'Joints' thrice ten, all grim and grey, 91 'JOINT' AT TWO SCORE What of your castles built in air ? What of ambitions once your care ? Have they not vanished all away ? Wisest they who to strive desist ; Comes not the guerdon to worth alone : Fluke works freaks in the Service List, And the meed that labour and merit have missed, Falls to a fortunate dunce or drone. Dull drag the days in a station drear, Dead are the dreams that pleased lang syne. Dead and buried, and I sit here A moody rhymer at Forty Year, Schooling a Stunt with cynic^line. 92 THE WIDOW OF GRASS A bachelor's song Air— ' Here's to the Maiden of Bashful Fifteen.' Here 's to no maiden of bashful fifteen. Here 's to no widow of fifty : Widows are wily, though winsome of mien, And maidens are skittish and shifty. Let the toast pass, drink to the lass, Nor maiden or widow, the Widow of Grass. Old wiseacres say that the making of hay Should be sped in the time of the sun, sir ; 93 THE WIDOW OF GRASS So in Ind, where, I trow, there is sunshine enow, The best of all things to be done, sir, If you'd see adaypasswithout yawn or' Alas!' Is to go and make hay with a Widow of Grass. When the hours lagging go in a station that's slow, And it 's hard the blue devils to bury, Be your mate not a wife with a face full of woe. But a Widow of Grass who is merry. Let the toast pass, filled be each glass, We'll drink to the health of the Widow of Grass. And here 's to the husband who checks not her whim. Nor tightens the conjugal tether ; 94 THE WIDOW OF GRASS Her smiles are for us, and her tempers for him. So, faith ! we'll e'en toast them together. Let the toast pass, the husband 's an ass, A bumper for him and the Widow of Grass ! 95 THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS Am—' The Two Obadiahs.' Said the young Obadiah to the old Obadiah : 'You 're a judge, Obadiah, you 're a judge. And judges old as you are for pension overdue. You should budge, Obadiah, you should budge The measure of your years is full, your labours now should cease. So hie you to an English home, there end your days in peace, And take the blessings with you of the friends you'll leave behind.' Said the old Obadiah, 'You are kind.' 96 THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS Said the young Obadiah to the old Obadiah, ' You are stout, apoplectically stout ; And before the rains last year you were very, very near Going out, Obadiah, going out. With that warning to remember, with a phiz of tell-tale hue. After many a shock of fever and of liver not a few, Yet, yet another summer will you dare your fate defy ? ' Growled the old Obadiah, ' i will try.' Said the young Obadiah to the old Obadiah, ' I 'm a Joint, Obadiah, still a Joint, And 'twill dam Promotion's flow if you Seniors ripe to go Disappoint, Obadiah, disa))point. 97 fi THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS From happier times your service dates, before the blank to-day Of elderly Assistants and Joints whose heads are grey. So I 'm thinking, Obadiah, you have laid some money by.' Swore the old Obadiah, ' Not a pie.' ^ Said the young Obadiah to the old Obadiah, ' I 've a son, Obadiah, I 've a son.' Said the old Obadiah to the young Obadiah, ' D 'ye think, Obadiah, I have none } I have three ; they 're gay young loafers, who dance and shoot and ride, 1 Twelve pies go to the anna, and sixteen annas to the rupee. This last coin, which was once worth two ahillings or more, is now equivalent to a shilling or so. 98 THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS And beyond such pleasant pastimes take thought of nought beside. All three without a calling, and what's more, with none in view.' Said the young Obadiah, ' Rough on you.' Said the young Obadiah to the old Obadiah, * I 've a wife, Obadiah, I 've a wife.' Said the old Obadiah to the young Obadiah, * So have I, Obadiah, bless your life ! 'Twould move your ruth, my gentle youth, if you only saw the bills Of my Mrs. Obadiah and her daughters in the hills. Five daughters, Obadiah, and no husbands to be had.' Said the young Obadiah, 'That is sad.' 99 THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS Said the old Obadiah to the young Obadiah, ''Twould be well, Obadiah, don't you think. Lest our throttles get too dry with question and reply. If we moistened the discussion with a drink ! ' With zest young Obadiah caught the Senior's notion up, Fetched a giant tankard straightway, filled it high with Simkin^ cup. Added herbs of fine aroma, crowned the whole with crystal ice, — Smiled the old Obadiah, ''Twill be nice.' Then the old Obadiah and the young Obadiah Sat them down, chair by chair, tete-a-tete ; But, curious to say, all remembrance passed away Of the interesting topic of debate. 1 'Simkin' = Champagne. lOO THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS Soon the young Obadiah, with his glass raised high, Was carolling the ditties of his infancy : While the old Obadiah wore a look of wild delight, And chortled, ' Obadiah, You are tight.' Still sat the heroes two, still happier they grew. As they drained the giant tankard o'er and o'er: Till at last— O sad to tell .'—old Obadiah fell In a leaden, leaden slumber on the floor. Then crowed the wily Junior, ' Not in vain I primed it strong ; My venerable friend, 1 think, won't stop pro- motion long. lOI THE CIVILIAN OBADIAHS At least not if as often as he wants to liquor up He lets young Obadiah Mix the cup ! ' 102 YE BANKS AND BRAES O' DEHRA BOON Am — ' Ye banks and braes o' honnie Boon.' [iMussoorie, a favourite hill station, is in the district of Dehra Doon.] Ye banks and braes o' Dehi'a Doon, Bloom, bloom no more sae fresh and fair : Mussoorie youths, companions boon. Carouse not now when I forbear. Thou Mall where Amazons display Their fearless grace on pal fries restive, Desist, in Love's own name, I pray, From looking so intensely festive. 103 YE BANKS AND BRAES Ye haunts, ye walks that once I knew, When life and I alike were jolly, — I 'm altered now : oblige me, do, By looking- meetly melancholy. 'Twas love that erst my joy did cause, 'Tis love that now my joy has ta'en. And ever doth the joy that was Embitter more the after pain. Fond, fond the rapture of my soul That night when from the ballroom's glare With sweet Selina forth I stole. To breathe the witching midnight air. The scene, the time, to love beguiled, The night was still, the moon was up, The stars rained down their influence mild, — And I 'd been drinking Simkin cup. 104 O' DEHRA DOON My bosom, deeply stirred with love, In fear now shook, with hope now swelled. To still the fear, the hope to prove, I craved a thorny rose she held. She answered with assenting look ; Her yielding hand in mine I drew, And as the token flower I took I deemed the hand my guerdon too. Oh, faithless as the shifting sand ! Short weeks have sped but barely three ; She 's given old General Gudge her hand, The rose — and thorns — are left to me ! 105 LAMENT OF THE SETTLEMENT OFFICERS ' Quhen Alysander our kyng was dede.^ An extract, with some slight modifications, from an article in The Univei'sity Magazine, now extinct, will serve as a preface to these verses. The Settlement Officers (see the 'Hakim Bundo- bust ') make the periodical assessments of the Govern- ment Land Revenue in India. In the North- Western Provinces a re-valuation ordinarilj' takes place every thirty years. There was a great deal of work of this kind to be done when Sir William Muir was Lieu- tenant-Governor of the North-^Fest, and civilians, specially selected, were employed on it. Sir William Muir spoke of them in a debate in the Legislative Council as '^the picked men of a picked service.' The civilians who were not selected did not like this, and a jester — of course, one of the Settlement Staff 1 06 LAMENT OF SETTLEMENT OFFICERS — ticketed them as '^the piqued men of a piqued service.' The work of settlement is partly outdoor, in the way of survey and inspection, and partly desk work, consisting of drawing up reports. The out- door work is naturally limited in duration to the cold weather, or the months from November to February inclusive. Sir William Aluir, in his indulgence for his ' picked men,' thought that they might as well do their desk work in a cool climate, and gave them per- mission to migrate to Naini Tal in the hills in the hot weather. Arrived tliere, they had a choice of recreations in which they could indulge, in addition to, or instead of, writing Assessment Reports. When Sir William Muir retired and Sir John Strachey reigned in his stead, a rumour went forth (which turned out to be substiuitially true) that the Settle- ment Staff were no longer to have the same liberty as before of Uikiug flight to the hills in the hot weather. Jwalakhet and Cheeua are the names of places at or near Naini Tal. Wo ! Willie Muir, our kynge, is deid ! We ken nae mair his favourin' ec ; 107 LAMENT OF SETTLEMENT OFFICERS Gane are our clays of generous meed, Of wine and wassail, games and glee ; O gentle hevin ! grant remede, And shield us frae the cauld Straychee. Our Willie dear in switherin mood Full aft wi' doubt wad wrestle sair. Yet still to us a patron good Proclaimed our ends his ceaseless care ; Had we been e'en his kin in blood He couldna weel hae loved us mair. Whate'er we penned, in many a screed. Much cry about a little woo', He printed for the warld to read In beuks o' yellow, beuks o' blue. And crowning proof of love indeed. Himself he read them, through and through. 1 08 LAMENT OF SETTLEMENT OFFICERS And if our eggs of settlement [As chanced at times through Fortune's spite] For all the years in hatching spent. Proved addled when they saw the light, He smiled on them with mild content As sweet and sound and flawless quite. From out the herd he did us raise. And, guiding still our favoured feet. Far sundered from the rest our ways. And gave, by a division meet. To us the guerdon and the praise. To them the burden and the heat : And therefore when, from dust and glare. His court did its departure take, And glad to summer haunt repair On Nynee's hills, by Nynec's lake 109 LAMENT OF SETTLEMENT OFFICERS Us too he bid attend him there For our transcendant merits' sake. Soon, heedless of Assessment notes, Wi' lichtsome hearts we flung them doun, And sallied forth in soldiers' coats To march wi' martial show and soun', And rowed the lake in bonnie boats. And leapt and sprang at Badmintoune. With bullets' ring in Jwalakhet Our rifles roused the echoes clear. On piny steeps, in gorges strait, We sought at dawn the mountain deei*, In Cheena's dells at eve we sat, And whispered love in beauty's ear. O sad, O dismal change ! at last The common lot of ills we shai-e, no LAMENT OF SETTLEMENT OFFICERS Erst deemed but nightmares of the past. And all the harder now to bear, — The breath of June's sirocco blast. The weight of August's leaden air. And that the altered doom we dree May lack no sting of jest and jeer. The Great Unpicked, with ribald glee. Triumphantly their crests uprear, And loud extol the cauld Straychee, And cavil at our Willie dear. iJut let them mock with rancour vain, We, sad of heart and fain to greet. Will none llie less in pious strain The chorus of his praise repeat : Where shall we see his like again, Our Willie lost, our VV'iUie sweet? I I I ALUN AHEER Air — ' Allen-a-Dale ' — Scott's Rokeby. Alun Aheer has no tillage for tending, Alun Aheer has no hoards for the lending, Alun Aheer has no wares for the selling, Yet Alun Aheer has rich stores beyond telling. Ye law-loving gentlemen, please you to hear What manner of craftsman is Alun Aheer ! He vaunteth no manors, no heirlooms of pride ; No henchman, to serve him, attends at his side ; He has naught but his lathie,' good five cubits long ; His foot that is fleet, and his hand that is strong ; 1 Lathie — A long bamboo cudgel. 112 ALUN AHEER A head passing wily, a heart without fear, Yet he laugheth at foi-tune, blithe Alun Aheer. There are tools he must use in his time-honoured trade. That gold never purchased and hand never made ; His cudgel, it's true, for a song you may buy, But the heart, skill, and sinew his cudgel to ply. To fight like the panther, to scud like the deer, Are sold in no market, saith Alun Aheer. Dear, dear to the miser the coffers that hold His treasure of silver, his jewels and gold ; He calls them his own, but in truth and in deed He keeps them for Alun, to take at his need ; Some morrow he '11 wail o'er his night-ravished gear. Gone — none can say whither, but Alun Aheer. 113 II ALUN AHEER They're proud of their acres, your husbandry men, The lord has his thousand, the hind has his ten ; But the broad earth is Aluu's, the East and the West, The Northward, the Southward, to choose of the best; Though the harvest be scanty, the rents in arrear. There still must be tithage for Alun Aheer. Through the green meadow lowlands as Alun doth hie. It 's woe to the herdsman that 's drowsy of eye ; Ah ! well may he spring from his sleep Avith a start. And number the kine with a sinking of heart. 114 ALUN AHEER For gone is their leader, the best-beloved steer, Far, far o'er the Ganges with Alun Aheer. But the game that's the crown of bold Alun's desire Is cracking of costards for pastime or hire ; When a fat Kayath landlord would serve out a foe, The greasy old craven to Alun doth go. Gives a hint of a name with a wink and a leer. Then away with his lathie goes Alun Aheer. Anon he returneth, his mission is sped. And his cudgel of vengeance is dinted and red ; Then, faith, if there 's slackness in finding the price, He 11 drill) tlic old Kayath himself in a trice, 115 ALUN AHEER And teach him — the niggard ! — it costs rather dear To bilk of his wages bold Alun Aheer. Is he taken red-hand at his head-breaking sport ? He has clansmen a score who '11 attend him in court. And swear he lay sleeping, the hour of the fray. At his wife's cousin's grandmother's — ten leagues away. They mock at your oaths, so outlandish and queer, And lie without wincing for Alun Aheer. Is he scourged with the rod ? — fixed as iron his face. Though each blow writes a gash, and he bleedeth apace ; ii6 ALUN AHEER The paly-skinned Brahmin will clamour and bawl Ere the cords can be tied, or the rattan can fall; But you '11 lay on till doom ere to pleading or tear Be bent the bold spirit of Alun Aheer. Is the halter his fate ? — yet his cheek grows not pale, His step will not falter, his eye will not quail ; One word to his dark-eyed Aheerin he saith. Then mounts like a king up the ladder to death, — Ever dauntless of heart, ever lightsome of cheer, As his life will his death be, our Alun Aheer! "7 ALUN AHEER There's a plea for his acts, though you brand them as crimes. In the mouth he was born with, that hungers at times ; And Alun doth argue with reason unskilled, That when God gives a mouth it is meant to be filled ; So he fills it, in sooth, with what 's handy and near — ' Lest God be offended,' saith Alun Aheer. If Alun 's a reaver, Sirkar^ is the same, Though not by one method they tend to their aim ; Sirkar works by law, in a sinuous way, And scribbles and prates ere it springs on its prey, ^ ' Sirkar '= the Government. ii8 ALUN AHEER While our thief to his end driveth sudden and sheer ; Is Sirkar then more honest than Alan Aheer? As to which is loved best — let the Thakur reply, Whom your law and the bunneah have bled till he's dry; Ask the multitude, weary to death of the rule That cleanses and counts them and hounds them to school ; Ask the trader taxed bare of the gains of a year If Sirkar is more gentle than Alun Aheer ? With your statutes and laws you have cumbered the land, Till there 's barely a spot for poor Alun to stand. And you foster not liini, but the sycophant breed Who drive for a pittance in ink-dabbled reed ; 119 ALUN AHEER What duty, then, owes he your laws to revere ? Let those keep them who made them, not Alun Aheer. You can kill him, you think, but he '11 leave you a son Whose pride is to do as his father has done ; And again when your harvests are stripped in the night. And the dawn finds the usurer's money-bags light, And gardens are plundered, and kine disappear. You '11 swear he 's new-risen, dead Alun Aheer. My singing is o'er — they have heard not in vain Who will join as in chorus this close to the strain : — 1 20 ALUN AHEER Be there death to the loon who with sycophant's heart Will cringe to the Hakim ^ he hates in his heart. But live the frank outlaw, our thief without peer, The pink of all robbers, bold Alun Aheer ! 1 ' Hakim ' = Ruler, Magistrate. 121 DIDO ANGLO-INDICA 'A weary lot is thine, fair maid.' — Scott. ' A BOOTLESS game is thine, sweet lass, A bootless game is thine ! To snatch at hearts of men that pass The way you snatched at mine ! As many others come, I came This Eastern land to view ; You learnt I bore a titled name. No more of me you knew, My love ! No more of me you knew. 122 DIDO ANGLO-INDICA ' Three fateful moons have seen us run Through love's delights and pains ; So much we 've said, so much we 've done. To part alone remains.' He gave her hand a farewell shake, To kiss, unkind, forbore ; ' The next home mail I fain must take, So adieu for evermore. My love ! Adieu for evermore.' 123 C.S.I. AND CLE. Air — ' County Guy.'' [In the eyes of aspirants for Indian decorations the Knighthoods and Companionships of the Star of India have much higher value than the corresponding grades of the Order of the Indian Empire. A C.I.E.-ship, in particular, is looked upon as ' the wooden spoon ' among titular honours. One worthy old gentleman, on being made a homo trium litterarum of the CLE. sort, was comforted by a sympathising friend in the words, ' Never mind, old fellow, you '11 live it down. ' In 1890 two deserving Civil Servants, whose names were (something like) Bede and Blees, were branded CLE. at the same time as a number of natives of sorts.] Ah, C.S.I., I thought thee nigh, And said : ' This year's Gazette 'Mid other names my signal claims Will surely not forget.' 124 C.S.I. AND CLE. The list appeared : I hoped, yet feared. And read with fevered haste ; O fate too hard ! Amongst the starred I found my name — not placed. Then lower down with listless eye I read the C.I.E.'s, A Singh, a Khan, a Rao, a Rai, And Messrs. Bede and Blees. ' Poor Bede! poor Blees!' consoled, I cry, ' Worse off than I are ye, Far better misx a C.S.I. Tfian win a CLE.!' 125 BRUCE'S ADDRESS— NEW VERSION Air — 'Scots wha hae.' [This address was supposed to be delivered by a Bruce, the Earl of Elgin, Viceroy of India, to the Scots- men assembled at a St. Andrew's dinner in Calcutta.] Scots on halesome parritch bred, Scots in black coats, Scots in red, Scots whose sires for mine hae bled. Fill the cup wi' me ! Holy Andrew's sainted pow'r Rules the day an' rules the hour, Smooths each brow wi' care knit sour. Stirs to jollitie. 126 BRUCE'S ADDRESS— NEW VERSION Wha frae drinkin' like the lave. Feckless, wad exemption crave, Clootie grup the loon an' knave ! Here he maunna be ! Wha amang us, great or sma'. Fair drinks doon his brethren a'. First to fill and last to fa', Haith ! our king is he ! Scotia's drink, the pibroch's strains. Thrill our heart-strings, fire our veins ; Scottish faithers' Scottish weans, Wha sae prood as we ! Loud the Norlan' trumpet blow ! Wha like us to do or know ! Dings the best tlic warl" can sliow, Scotland's chivalric ! 127 APPENDIX I THE ALIBI OF THE EAST Courts of Justice in India are insulted every day^ almost every hour, by the most shameless perjuries. A false alibi is one of the most recurring forms of this pest. Half a dozen witnesses are produced as a matter of course, to swear that a man who has been clearly shown by the evidence for the prosecution to have committed a murder at Pacchamabad was at Purabpur when the deed was done. Their evidence is solemnly recorded by the Sessions Judge. The proceedings remind one of nothing so much as the vulgar verse — ' I saw Esau kissing Kate, And the fact is we all three saw, For I saw Esau, he saw me. And she saw I saw Esau.' The Judge knows the evidence he is writing down is false. The learned Government pleader and the 128 THE 'ALIBI' OF THE EAST able counsel for the defence know it is false, and they both know the Judge knows it is false. But the farce of listening- to it, and recording it, and cross- examining and re-examining on it, must be gone through, in deference to the requirements of the Code of Criminal Procedure. Fortunately, the fabrication of alibis is a disease which has to some extent cured itself. Over-produc- tion has had the usual result of bringing about a depreciation in value. Alibis are so common that Courts hold them very cheap. But a monstrous amount of time is wasted in examining the lying witnesses who come forward to sui)port them. And an alibi constructed with more than usual care some- times turns the scale against the prosecution, and saves a rascal from the punishment he deserves. The cross-examination of witnesses who are called to prove a well-constructed alibi is of very little use. Say that a murder is committed on the 7th of May. On the morning of tlie 8th the murderer starts off on a pilgrimage to IJriiidaban witli half a dozen of his friends and kinsmen. The lialf-dozen are called as witnesses for the defence at the trial, and swear that they and the arcused started for Brindahan on Gth of May, and were there the whole of the 7th. It 129 APPENDIX I is useless to cross-examine them with regard to the incidents of the pilgrimage^ for it is a real fact, and they will agree as regards every detail. The altera- tion of the date of starting is the only lie, and that lie is unanimously stuck to. The lying witnesses stand to their guns unshaken, and leave the Court with beaming faces, well pleased with the figure they have cut ; and the chances are a hundred to one — so over- burdened are Courts in India with work — against their ever being punished, or even tried, for perjury. 130 APPENDIX II JUSTICE 1 LA BRIDOYE FOR INDIA There was once upon a time a very worthy Judge who was called before the High Court of his Province to explain his reasons for having pro- nounced an apparently inequitable sentence in a case before him. His explanation was that, during a long and honourable career on the Bench, his practice had been to determine cases by throwing dice after reading the pleadings, hearing counsel, and carefully weighing the evidence. Having first carried out all the formalities of procedure, he used to lay on his table all the papers filed by the defendant, and give him the first cliance with the dice. 'I'liat done, he laid down at tlie other end of the table the papers filed i»y tlie j)hiintiff or complainant, and gave him his chance. In simple cases large dice were used, but in those which, from the iiumlter of papers filed, appeared to be difficult and intricate, the casts were made with specially small and delicate dice. Tlie Judffe excused bimsclf with regard to the jiar- ticular case under iiujuiry on the ground that liis '3' APPENDIX II sight, not being so good as it had been, he could not distinctly discern the points of the dice as formerly, so that it might have happened that, at the decision of the cause in question, in which he had used his small dice, he had mistaken a quatre for a cinque, and thereby given an erroneous judgment. The presiding Chief-Justice asked Judge Bridoye [for that was his name] why, as he gave his judgment according to the cast of the dice, he did not throw the hazards at once, without troubling himself with documents or with the arguments of counsel. It would take up too much space to give Judge Bridoye's ingenious and conclusive answers to this and other questions. Those who are desirous of knowing what they were, and of learning the issue of the proceedings, will find a full account of them in the delectable History of Pantagruel, by Francois Rabelais.^ My own object is to call attention to the eminent adaptability of the Bridoye method to the conditions of judicial work in India, in which, as is well known to all persons who have had any experience of Courts, the decision of cases by a laborious consideration of evidence is an empty and delusive mockery. And 1 See ' The Case of Judge Bridoye ' in Sir Walter Besant's Readings in Rabelais. 132 JUSTICE A LA BRIDOYE FOR INDIA I would remiud my readers that the priuciple of the Bridoye method has not been unfamiliar in the past, although there have been differences in the mode of putting it in practice. Every one has heard of the Judge who used to decide his cases by counting the flies on the punkah-frame, and decreeing for the plaintiff if the number was odd, and for the defendant if it was even. This plan has its recommen- dations, but it is open to the objection that there are seasons in the year when punkah-frames are taken down, and during which there would be a difTiculty in securing the attendance of a sufficient number of flies. Then tliere was tlie judicial officer who was deputed to a district in which there was an immense mass of appeals of old-standing to be disposed of. He ordered the records to be laid out in cutclierry, and, making use of his walking-stick as a divining-rod, touched first one file and then another, giving orders for decrees for plaintiff and defendant alternatelj'. The SerishUidar' wrote out good reasons, supported by apposite rulings of the Allahabad High Court, for each decree. The Judge signed them, and the arrears melted away in a marvellously short space of time. I cite these iust^mces merely to show I am not recom- » ' ScrJBhtadar ' = Head Clerk. 133 APPENDIX II mending any absolutely unheard-of innovation of principle. The advantages that would flow from the adoption of the Bridoye method would be many and various. Judicial work would be more speedily despatched. No longer worried by laborious balancing of perjured evidence, civil officers would less frequently become deranged in intellect than now. Their tempei's would be sweeter. They would have more leisure to show kindness to the natives of the country. In the veracity and standard of honesty of the latter there would soon be a marked improvement ; perjury and forgery, being of use no longer for the bewilderment of Judges, would cease to be habitually practised. Hasty reasoners will be likely to argue that justice would not be attained under the Bridoye system. It is not difficult to show that in courts of every grade the results would be as satisfactory as under the exist- ing system ; nay, more so. Take, for instance, the Allahabad High Court, the rulings of which are held in deservedly high estimation, not only in these pro- vinces, but throughout the length and breadth of India. There have been twenty reported cases of appeals from its decisions to the Privy Council since the Indian Law Reports were first published. In ten 134 JUSTICE A LA BRIDOYE FOR INDIA of these the decisions appealed against have been con- firmed. In an equal number they have been reversed.^ It would appear, therefore, that the justice dispensed by our respected High Court is so strictly even-handed that in any given case before it there are equal chances that the decision will be wise, equal chances that it will be otherwise. And, these being the chances in the High Court, it may be assumed that in the courts of subordinate, and of course less able, judges, there is at least a shade of odds against a right decision being given. Now in every case tried according to the Bridoye method, the party who ought to win would have as good a chance as the party who ought to lose : that is to say, the chances of justice being done would invariably be even. In the High Court, tlierefore, the results would be no less satisfactory, and in subordinate courts tliey would be more so tlian tliose attained under the existing system. This being so, and there being collateral advaiitiiges besides, is tliere not a strong case for the adoption of the Bridoye method in courts in India, and may we not hope that His Excellency the Viceroy, wlio is always so ready to promote wise re- forms, will tiike note of and consider these suggestittns .^ • ThcHc were the reaults up to the time when the above rcmarka wore written. 135 APPENDIX III APPEAL OF THE ELDERS IN THE STRANGE CASE OF SUSANNA : AN ANCIENT LAW REPORT [This law report appeared in the Pioneer towards the close of a period of unrest and perplexity for judicial officers in the North-AVest Provinces, when the Judges of the Allahabad High Court were interfering far too freely, and often on very captious grounds, with the proceedings of Magistrates and Sessions Judges. The advent of Sir John Edge wrought a most salutary change in this respect. From the time of his assumption of the office of Chief-Justice an era began in which substantial justice has been done, and the dictates of common - sense have prevailed rather than ultra-legal quirks and quibbles.] The great advance which has been made of late years iu the interpretcition of cuneiform writing is well-known to Oriental scholars. The successful labours of Professor Zurmach^ of the Leipsic Uni- versity, in that interesting field of research, enable us to lay before our readers the following extract from the weekly notes of cases decided by the High Court, Babylon, in the Chaldaean year 8t5 : — 136 APPEAL OF THE ELDERS Before the Officiating Chief-Justice and Mr. Justice Bahpoohd. Criminal Appeal, No. 9999. the king v. badoldlot and baderoldlot. The Officiating Chief-Justice. — This is aii appeal against a decisiou of the Sessions Judge of Babylon convicting the appellants, Badoldlot and Baderoldlot, under section 211 of the Medo-Persian Penal Code, of making a false charge against Susanna, wife of Joacim. The case arises out of a previous case tried by tlie bench of intigistrates exercising jurisdiction in the Jewisli quarter in Babylon. In that case Susanna was accused of abetting tlie commission of an offence under section 411 of the Medo-Persian Penal Code, by dishonestly handing over certain jewels, the property of her husband, to a pers(»n unknown, wlio received them with a guilty knowledge. I'rooeedings were taken against Susanna on information furnislied by the present apjiellants. She was ac(|uitted, and sanction was given to tlie prosecution of tlie appel- lants for making a false rliarge. The Sessions Judge convicted them, and sentenced them to the severest punishment that could be inflicted un