THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES IN MEMORY OF MRS. VIRGINIA B. SPORER HARRY LORREQUER. BY CHARLES LEVER, AUTHOR OF "CHARLES O'MALLEY," "Ton BUBKE OF 'OURS,'" ETC. ' We talked of pipe-clay regulation caps- Long twenty-foursshort culverins and mortars- Condemned the ' Horse Guards ' for a set of raps, And cursed our fate at being in such quarters. Some smoked, some sighed, and some were heard to snore, Some wished themselves five fathoms 'neath the Solway; And some did pray who never prayed before That they might get the ' route ' for Cork or Galway." NEW YORK: NEW YORK PUBLISHING COMPANY, 26 CITY HALL PLACE. 1895. 8IR GEORGE HAMILTON SEYMOUR, G. C. H., Ac., &c. MINISTER PLENIPOTENTIARY, AND ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY AT BRUXELLES. MY DEAR SIR HAMILTON, If a feather will show how the wind blows, perhaps my dedicating to you even as light matter as these Confessions may in some measure prove how grateful I feel for the many kindnesses I have received from you in the course of our intimacy. While thus acknowledging a debt, I must also avow that another motive strongly prompts me upon this occasion. I am not aware of any one, to whom, with such propriety, a volume of anec- dote and adventure should be inscribed, as to one, himself well known as an inimitable narrator. Could I have stolen for my story any portion of the grace and humor with which I have heard you adorn many of your own, while I should deem this offering more worthy of your acceptance, I should also feel more confident of its reception by the public. With every sentiment of esteem and regard, Believe me very faithfully yours, THE AUTHOB. BacxEiii.3, December, 1889. PREFATORY EPISTLE. DEAR PUBLIC, When I first set about recording the scenes which occupy these pages, I had no intention of continuing them, except in such stray and scattered fragments as the columns of a Magazine* permit of; and when, at length, I discovered that some interest had attached not onlv to the adventures, but to the narrator, I would gladly have retired with my " little laurels " from a stage, on which, having only engaged to appear between the acts, I was des- tined to come forward as a principal character. Among the "miseries of human life/' a most touching one is spoken of the being obliged to listen to the repetition of a badly sung song, because some well-wishing, but not over-discreet friend of the singer has called loudly for an encore. I begin very much to fear that something of the kind has taken place here, and that I should have acted a wiser part, had I been contented with even the still small voice of a few partial friends, and retired from the boards in the pleasing delusion of success; but, un- fortunately, the same easy temperament that has so often involved me before, has been faithful to me here; and when you pretended to be pleased, unluckily I believed you. So much of apology for the matter a little now for the manner of my offending, and I have done. I wrote as I felt sometimes in good spirits, sometimes in bad always carelessly for, God help me, I can do no better. When the celibacy of the Fellows of Trinity College, Dublin, be- came an active law in that University, the Board proceeded to en- force it, by summoning to their presence all the individuals who, it was well known, had transgressed the regulation, and among them figured Dr. S., many of whose sons were at the same time students in the college. " Are you married, Dr. S r?" said the bachelor vice- provost, in all the dignity and pride of conscious innocence. " Married?" said the father of ten children, with a start of involun- tary horror " married?" " Yes, sir, married." " Why, sir, I am no more married than the provost." This was quite enough no further questions were asked, and the head of the University pre- ferred a merciful course toward the offender, to repudiating his wife and disowning his children. Now for the application. Certain captious and incredulous people have doubted the veracity of the adventures I have recorded in these pages; I do not think it necessary The Dublin University Magazine, 203*3886 \V PREFATORY EPISTLE. te appeal to the concurrent testimony and credible witnesses for their proof; but I pledge myself to the fact that every tittle I have related is as true as that my name is Lorrequer need I say more? Another objection has been made to my narrative, and I cannot pass it by without a word of remark : " These confessions are wanting in scenes of touching and pathetic interest." True, quite true, but I console myself on this head, for I remember hearing of an author whose paraphrase of the book of Job was refused by a publisher, if he could not throw a little more humor into it; and if I have not been more miserable and more unhappy, I am very sorry for it on your account, but you must excuse my regretting it on my own. Another story, and I have done. The Newgate Calendar makes mention of a notorious housebreaker, who closed his career of out- rage and violence by the murder of a whole family, whose house he robbed ; on the .scaffold he entreated permission to speak a few words to the crowd beneath, and thus addressed them: " My friends, it is quite true I murdered this family; in cold blood I did it one by one they fell beneath my hand, while I rifled their coffers, and took forth their effects ; but one thing is imputed to me, which I cannot die without denying : it is asserted that I stole an extinguisher ; the con- temptible character of this petty theft is a stain upon my reputation that I cannot suffer to disgrace my memory." So would I now ad- dress you for all the graver offenses of my book. I stand forth guilty miserably, palpably guilty they are mine, every one of them, and I dare not, cannot deny them; but if you think that the bhmders in French and the hash of spelling, so widely spread through these pages, are attributable to me, on the faith of a gentleman I pledge myself you are wrong, and that I had nothing to do with them. If my thanks for the kindness and indulgence with which these hastily written and rashly conceived sketches have been received by the press and the public, are of any avail, let me add, in conclusion, that a more grateful author does not exist than HARRY LORKEQTJKR. A WORD OF INTRODUCTION. " Story I God bless you f I have none to tell, sir.** IT is now many do .not ask me to say how many years since I received from the Horse Guards the welcome intelligence that I was gazetted to an ensigncy in his Majesty's th Foot, and that my name, which had figured so long in the " Duke's " list, with the words " a very hard case " appended, should at length appear in the monthly record of promotions and appointments. Since then my life has been passed in all the vicissitudes 'of war and peace. The camp and the bivouac the reckless gayety of the mess-table->-the comfortless solitude of a French prison the excit- ing turmoils of active service the wearisome monotony of garrison duty, I have alike partaken of, and experienced. A career of this kind, with a temperament ever ready to go with the humor of those about him, will always be sure of its meed of adventure. Such has mine been ; and with no greater pretensions than to chronicle a few of the scenes in which I have borne a part, and revive the memory of the other actors in them some, alas! now no more I have vent- ured upon these " Confessions." If I have not here selected that portion of my life which most abounded in striking events and incidents most worthy of recording, my excuse is simply, because, being my first appearance upon the boards, I preferred accustoming myself to the look of the house, while Serforming the " Cock," to coming before the audience in the more ifficult part of Hamlet. As there are unhappily impracticable people in the world, who, as Curran expressed it, are never content to know " who killed the gauger, if you can't inform them who wore his corduroys " to all such I would, in deep humility, say, that with my " Confessions " they have nothing to do I have neither story nor moral my only pretension to the one is the detail of a passion which marked some years of my life; my only attempt at the other, the effort to show how prolific in hair-breadth escapes many a man's career becomes, who, with a warm imagination.and easy temper, believes too much, and rarely can feign a part without forgetting that he is acting. Having said thus much, I must once more bespeak the indulgence never withheld from a true penitent, and at once begin my " Confessions." HARRY LORREQUER. CHAPTER I. IT was on a splendid morning in the autumn of the year 181- that the Howard transport, with four hundred of his Majesty's 4r-th Regiment, dropped anchor in the beautiful harbor of Cove ; the sea shone under the purple light of the rising sun with a rich rosy hue, beautifully in contrast with the different tints of the foliage of the deep woods already tinged with the brown of autumn. Spike Island lay " sleeping upon its broad shadow," and the large ensign which crowns the battery was wrapped around the flagstaff, there not being even air enough to stir it. It was still so early, that but few persons were abroad ; and as we leaned over the bulwarks, and looked now, for the first time for eight long years, upon British ground, many an eye filled, and many a heaving breast told how full of recollections that short moment was, and how different our feelings from the gay buoyancy with which we had sailed from that same harbor for the Peninsula ; many of our best and bravest had we left behind us, and more than one native to the land we were approaching had found his last rest in the soil of the stranger. It was, then, with a mingled sense of pain and pleasure we gazed upon that peaceful little village, whose white cottages lay dotted along the edge of the harbor. The moody silence our thoughts had shed over us was soon broken: the preparations for disembarking had begun, and I recollect well to this hour how, shaking off the load that oppressed my heart, I descended the gangway, humming poor "Wolfe's well-known song: " Why, soldiers, why, Should we be melancholy, boys?" And to this elasticity of spirits whether the result of my profession, or the gift of God as Dogberry has it I know not I owe the greater portion of the happiness I have enjoyed in a life whose changes and vicissitudes have equaled most men's. Drawn up in line along the shore, I could scarce refrain from a smile at our appearance. Four weeks on board a transport will cer- tainly not contribute much to the personnel of any unfortunate there- in confined; but when, in addition to this, you take into account that we had not received new clothes for three years if I except caps for our grenadiers, originally intended for a Scotch regiment, but found to be too small for the long-headed generation. Many a patch of brown and gray variegated the faded scarlet " of our uniform," and 8 HARRY LORREQTTER. scarcely a pair of knees in the entire regiment did not confess their obligations to a blanket. But with all this, we showed a stout, weather-beaten front, that, disposed as the passer-by might feel to ]augh at our expense, very little caution would teach him it was fully as safe to indulge it in his sleeve. The bells from every steeple and tower rung gayly out a peal of welcome, as we marched into " that beautiful city called Cork," our band playing " Garryowen " for we had been originally raised in Ireland, and still among our officers maintained a strong majority from that land of punch, priests, and potatoes the tattered flag of the regiment proudly waving over our heads, and not a man amongst us whose warm heart did not bound behind a Waterloo medal. Well well! I am now alas! that I should say it somewhat in the "sear and yellow;" and I confess, after the experience of some moments of high, triumphant feeling, that I never before felt within me the same animating, spirit- filling glow of delight as rose with- in my heart that day, as I marched at the head of my company down George's street. We were soon settled in barracks; and then began a series of en- tertainments on the side of, the civic dignitaries of Cork, which soon led most of us to believe that we had only escaped shot and shell to fall less gloriously beneath champagne and claret. I do not believe there is a coroner in the island who would have pronounced but the one verdict over the regiment " Killed by the mayor and corpora- tion," had we so fallen. First of all, we were dined by the citizens of Cork and, to do them justice, a harder drinking set of gentlemen no city need boast; then we were feasted by the corporation ; then by the sheriffs ; then came the mayor, solus; then an address, with a cold collation, that left eight of us on the sick-list for a fortnight; but the climax of all was a grand entertainment given in the mansion house, and to which upward of two thousand were invited. It was a species of fancy ball, beginning by a dejeunfi at three o'clock in the afternoon, and ending I never yet met the man who could tell when it ended; as for my- self, my -finale partook a little of the adventurous, and I may as well relate it. After waltzing for about an hour with one of the prettiest girls I ever set eyes upon, and getting a tender squeeze of the hand, as I restored her to a most affable-looking old lady in a blue turban and a red velvet gown who smiled most benignly on me, and called me " Mieejor," I retired to recruit for a new attack, to a small table, where three of ours were quaffing " ponche a. la Eomaine," with a crowd of Corkagians about them, eagerly inquiring after some heroes of their own city, whose deeds of arms they were siirprised did not obtain special mention from "the Duke." I soon ingratiated my- self into this well-occupied clique and dosed them with glory to their hearts' content. I resolved at once to enter into their humor; and as the " ponche " mounted up to my brain, I gradually found my acquaintanceship extended to every family ana connection in the country. " IHd ye know Phil Beamish of the 8-th, sir?" said a tall red- faced, red- whiskered, well-looking gentleman, who bore no slight resemblance to Feargus O'Connor, HARRY LORREQTJEB. 9 "Phil Beamish!" said I. "Indeed I did, sir, and do still; and there is not a man in the British army I am prouder of knowing." Here, by the way, I may mention that I never heard the name till that moment. " You don't say so, sir," said Feargus for so I must call him, for shortness sake. " Has he any chance of the company yet, sir?" " Company!" said I, in astonishment. " He obtained his majority three months since. You cannot possibly have heard from him lately, or you would have known that?" " That's true, sir. I never heard since he quitted the 3-th to go to Versailles, I think they call it, for his healih. But how did he get the step, sir?" " Why, as to the company, that was remarkable enough!" said I quaffing oft' a tumbler of champagne, to assist my invention. " You know it was about four o'clock in the afternoon of the 18th that Napoleon ordered Grouchy to advance wLh the first and second brigade of the Old Guard and two regiments of chasseurs, and attack the position occupied by Picton and the regiments under his command. Well, sir, on they came, masked by the smoke of a ter- rific discharge of artillery, stationed on a small eminence to our left, and which did tremendous execution among our poor fellows on they came, sir; and as the smoke cleared partially away we got a glimpse of them, and a more dangerous looking set I should not desire to see: grizzle-bearded, hard-featured, bronzed fellows, about five-and-thirty or forty years of age; their beauty not a whit im- proved by the red glare thrown upon their faces and along (he whole line by each flash of the long twenty-fours that were playing away to the right. Just at this moment Picton rode down the line with his staff, and stopping within a few paces of me, said: ' They're coming up; steady, boys; steady now; we shall luive something to do soon. And then, turning round, he looked in the direction of the French battery, that was thundering away again in full force. ' Ah, that must be silenced,' said he. ' Where's Beamish?' " " Says Picton!" interrupted Feargus, his eyes starting from their sockets, and his mouth growing wider every moment, as he listened with the most intense interest. " Yes," said I, slowty; and then, with all the pro- voking nonchalance of an Italian improvisatore, who always halts at the most exciting point of his narrative, I begged a listener near me to fill my glass from the iced punch beside him. Not a sound was heard as I lifted the bumper to my lips; all were breathless in their wound-up anxiety to hear of their countryman who had been selected by Picton for what, too, they knew not yet, and, indeed, at this instant I did not know myself, and nearly laughed outright, lor the two of ours who had remained at the table had so well employed \heii interval of ease as to become veiy pleasantly drunk, and were iistening to my confounded story with all the gravity and seriousness in the world. "'Where's Beamish?' said Picton. 'Here, sir,' said Phil step- ping out from the line, and touching his cap to the general, who, taking him apart for a few minutes, spoke to him with great anima- tion. We did not know what he said ; but before five minutes were over, there was Phil with three companies of light-bobs drawn up at our left! their muskets at the charge, they set off at a round trot 10 HARRY LORREQUER. down the little steep which closed our flank. We had not much time to follow their movements, for our own amusement began soon; but I well remember, after repelling the French attack, and standing in square against two heavy charge's of cuirassiers, the first thing I saw where the French battery had stood, was Phil Beamish and about a handful of brave fellows, all that remained from the skir- mish. He captured two of the enemy's field-pieces, and was ' Captain Beamish ' on the day after. " " Long life to him," said at least a dozen voices behind and about me, while a general clanking of decanters and smacking of lips be- tokened that Phil's health with all the honors was being celebrated. For myself, I was really so engrossed by my narrative, and so ex- cited by the " ponche," that I saw or heard very little of etween his teeth, ' Ah, it's just slander nothing but slander and lying tongues. ' This soliloquy was caused by his remarking that on every gate he passed, or from every cabin, two or three urchins would come out half naked, but all with the finest heads of red hair he ever saw in his life. " ' How is it, my son,' said he at length; ' they tell very strange stories about Father Malachi, and I see so many of these children with red hair. Eh now Father Malachi 's a dark man.' " ' True for ye,' said the boy; ' true for ye, Father Malachi 's dark; but the coadjutor! the coadjutor's a&red as a fox.' ' When the laugh this story caused had a little subsided, Father Malachi called out, " Mickey Oulahan! Mickey, I say, hand his lord- ship over ' the groceries ' ' ' thus he designated a square decanter, containing about two quarts of whisky, and a bowl lu-aped high with sugar " a dacent boy is Mickey, my lord, and I'm happy to be the means of making him known to you. ' ' I bowed with condescen- sion, while Mr. Oulahan's eyes sparkled like diamonds at the recog- vition. " He has only two years of the lease to run, and a ' long charge,' " (anglice, a large family) continued the priest. " I'll not forget him, you may depend upon it," said I. "Do you hear that," said Father Maluchi, casting a glance of HARRY LORREQUER. 47 triumph round the table, while a general buzz of commendation on priest and patron went round, with many such phrases as, " Och thin, it's his riv'rance can do it." " na bocklish," " and why not," &c., &c. As for me, I have already " confessed " to my crying sin, a fatal, irresistible inclination to follow the humor of the moment wherever it led me; and now I found myself as active a partisan in quizzing Mickey Oulahan, as though I was not myself a party in- cluded in the jest. I was thus fairly launched into my inveterate habit, and nothing could arrest my progress. One by one the different individuals round the table were presented to me, and made known their various wants, with an implicit con- fidence in my power of relieving them, which I with equal readiness ministered to. I lowered the rent of every man at table. I made a general jail delivery, an act of grace (I blush to say) which seemed to be peculiarly interesting to the present company. I abolished all arrears made a new line of road through an impassable bog, and over an inaccessible mountain and conducted water to a mill, which Q. learned in the morning) was always worked by wind. The decanter had scarcely completed its third circuit of the board, when I bid fair to be the most popular specimen of the peerage that ever visited the "far west." In the midst of my career of universal benevolence, I was interrupted by Father Malachi, whom I found on his legs, pronouncing a glowing eulogium on his cousin's late regiment, the famous North Cork. "That was ihe corps!" said he. "Bid them do a thing, and they'd never leave off ; and so, when they got orders to retire from Wexford, it's little they cared for the comforts of baggage, like many another regiment, for they threw away everything but their canteens, and never stopped till they ran to Ross, fifteen miles fur- ther than the enemy followed them. And when they were all in bed the same night, fatigued and tired with their exertions, as ye may suppose, a drummer's boy called out in his sleep ' here they are they're coming ' they all jumped up and set off in their shirts, and got two miles out of town before they discovered it was a false alarm." Peal after peal of laughter followed the priest's encomium on the doctor's regiment; and, indeed, he himself joined most heartily in the mirth, as he might well afford to do, seeing that a braver or bet- ter corps than the North Cork, Ireland did not possess. " Well," said Fin, " it's easy to see ye never can forget what they did at Maynooth." Father Malachi disclaimed all personal feeling on the subject ; and I was at last gratified by the following narrative, which I regret deeply I am not enabled to give in the doctor's own verbiage; but writing as I do from memory (in most instances), I can only convey the substance. It was toward the latter end of the year '98 the year of the troubles that the North Cork were ordered, " for their sins," I be- lieve, to march from their snug quarters in Fermoy, and take up a position in the town of Maynooth a very considerable reverse of fortune to a set of gentlemen extremely addicted to dining out, and living at large upon a very pleasant neighborhood. Fermoy Abounded in gentry; Maynooth at thai time had few, if any, except- 48 HARRY LORREQUER. ing his Grace of Leinster, and he lived very privately, and saw aj company Maynooth was stupid and dull there were neither belles nor balls. Fermoy (to use the doctor's well remembered words) had a great " feeding, " and "very genteel young ladies, that carried their handkerchiefs in bags, and danced with the officers." They had not been many weeks in their new quarters when they began to pine over their altered fortunes, and it was with a sense of delight, which a few months before would have been incomprehensi- ble to them, they discovered that one of their officers had a brother, a young priest in the college; he introduced him to some of his con- freres, and the natural result followed. A visiting acquaintance began between the regiment and such of the members of the college as had liberty to leave the precincts, who, as time ripened the ac- quaintance into intimacy, very naturally preferred the cuisine of the North Cork to the meager fare of " the refectory." At last seldom a day went by without one or two of their reverences finding them- selves guests at the mess. The North Corkians were of a most hos- pitable turn, and the fathers were determined the virtue should not rust for want of being exercised ; they would just drop in to say a word to " Captain O 'Flaherty about leave to shoot in the demesne," as Carton was styled; or, they had a " frank from the duke for the colonel," or some other equally pressing reason; and they would contrive to be caught in the middle of a very droll story just as the ' ' roast beef ' ' was playing. Very little entreaty sufficed a short apology for the " dereglements " of dress, and a few minutes more found them seated at table without further ceremony on either ide. Among the favorite guests from the college, two were peculiarly in estimation "the Professor of the Humanities," Father Luke Mooney; and the Abbe D' Array, "the Lecturer on Moral Philoso- phy and Belles Lettres," and certain it is, pleasanter fellows, or more gifted with the " convivial bump," there never existed. He of the Humanities was a droll dog a member of the Curran Club, the "monks of the screw," told an excellent story and sang the " Cruiskeen Lawn " bettei than did any one before or since him the moral philosopher, though of a different genre, was also a most agrwable companion, an Irishman transplanted in his youth to St. Omers, and who had grafted upon his native humor a considerable share of French smartness and repartee such were the two, who ru]ed supreme in all the festive arrangements of this jovial regiment, and were at last as regular at table, as the adjutant and the paymas- ter, and so might they have continued, had not prosperity, that, in its blighting influence upon the heart, spares neither priests nor laymen, and is equally severe upon mice (see ^Esop's fable) and moral philosophers, actually di prived them, for the "nonce" of reason, and tempted them to their ruin. You naturally ask, what did they do? Did they venture upon allusions to the retreat upon Ross? Nothing of the kind. Did they, in that vanity which wine inspires, refer by word, act or innuendo, to the well-known order of their colonel when reviewing his regiment in "the Phoenix," to " advance two steps backward, and dress by the gutter?" Far be it frcm them; though indeed either of Ihese had been esteemed light in the balance compared with their real crime. "Then, what was their HARRY LORREQUER. 49 failing come tell it, and burn ye!" They actually, " horresco re- ferens," quizzed the Major coram the whole mess! Now, Major John Jones had only lately exchanged into the North Cork from the " Darry Ragement," as he called it. He was a red-hot orange- man, a deputy grand-something and vice-chairman of the " Pren- tice Boys " besides. He broke his leg when a schoolboy, by a fall incurred in tying an orange handkerchief around King William's august neck in college-green, on one 12th of July, and three several times had closed the gates of Derry with his own loyal hands, on the famed anniversary; in a word, he was one, that if his church had enjoined penance as an expiation for sin, would have looked upon a trip to Jerusalem on his bare knees, as a very light punish- ment for the crime on his conscience, that he sat at table with two buck priests from Maynooth, and carved for them like the rest of the company. Poor Major Jones, however, had no such solace, and the canker worm eat daily deeper and deeper into his pining heart. During the three or four weeks of their intimacy with his regiment, his martyr- dom was awful. His figure wasted, and his color became a deeper tinge of orange, and all around averred that there would soon be a " move up " in the corps, for the major had evidently "got his notice to quit " this world and its pomps and vanities. He felt " that he was dying," to use Haines Bayly's beautiful and apposite words, and meditated an exchange, but that, from circumstances, was out of the question. At last, subdued by grief, and probably his spirit having chafed itself smooth by such constant attrition, he became to all seeming, calmer, but it was only the calm of a broken and weaiy heart. Such was Major Jones at the time, when " suadente diab- olo," it seemed meet to Fathers Mooney and D' Array to make him the butt of their raillery. At first, he could not believe it; the thing was incredible impossible; but when he looked around the table, when he heard the roars of laughter, long, loud and vociferous; when he heard his name bandied from one to 1 he other across the table, with some vile jest tacked to it, ' ' like a tin kettle to a dog's tail," he awoke to the full measure of his misery the cup was full. Fat j had done her worst, "and he might have exclaimed with Lear, " spit fire spout rain," there was nothing in store for him of fur- ther misfortune. A drum-head court martial a hint " to sell out "ay, a sentence of " dismissed the service," had been mortal calamities, and like a man, he would have borne them ; but that he, Major John Jones, D.G.S.C.P.B., &c,. &c., who had -drank the "pious, glorious, and immortal," sitting astride of "the great gun of Athlone," should come to this ! Alas, and alas ! He retired that night to his chamber a "sadder if not a wiser man;" he dreamed that the " statue " had given place to the unshapely figure of Leo X. and that " Lundy now stood where Walker stood before," He jumped from his bed in a moment of enthusiasm, he vowed his revenge, and he kept his vow. That day the major was " acting field officer." The various pa- trols, sentries, pickets and out-posts, were all under his osper'iul control ; and it was remarked that lie took peculiar pains in selecting 50 HARRY LORREQUER. the men for night duty, which, in the prevailing quietness and peace of that time, seemed scarcely warrantable. Evening drew near, and Major Jones, summoned by the " oft- heard beat," wended his way to the mess. The officers were drop- ping in, and true as " the needle to the pole," came Father Mooney and the Abbe. They were welcomed with the usual warmth, and strange to say, by none more than the major himself, whose hilarity knew no bounds. How the evening passed I shall not stop to relate; suffice it to say, that a more brilliant feast of wit and jollification, not even the North Cork ever enjoyed. Father Luke's drollest stories, his very quaintest humor shone forth, and the Abbe sang a new " Chanson d Soire," that Beranger might have envied. " Waat are you about my dear Father D 'Array!" said the colonel ; "you are surely not rising yet; here's a fresh cooper of port just come in; sit down, I entreat." " I say it with grief, my dear colonel, we must away; the half hour has just chimed, and we must be within ' the gates ' before twelve. The truth is, the superior has been making himself very troublesome about ' our carnal amusements ' as he calls our innocent mirth, and we must, therefore, be upon our guard." " Well, if it must be so, we shall not risk losing your society alto- gether, for an hour or so now; so, one bumper to our next meeting to-morrow, mind, and now, M. D'Abbe, au revoir. " The worthy fathers finished their glasses, and taking a most affec- tionate leave of their kind entertainers, sallied forth under the guid- ance of Major Jones, who insisted upon accompanying them part of the way, as, ' ' from information he had received, the sentries were doubled in some places, and the usual precautions against surprise all taken." Much as this polite attention surprised the objects of it, his brother officers wondered still more, and no sooner did they per- ceive the major and his companions issue forth, than they set out in a body to watch where this most novel and unexpected complais- ance would terminate. When the priests reached the door of the barrack-yard, they again turned to utter their thanks to the major, and entreat him once more, " not to come a step further. There now, major, we know the path well, so just give us the pass, and don't stay out in the night air." "Ah oui, Monsieur Jones," said the Abbe, " retournez, je vous prie. We are, I may say, chez nous. Ces braves gens, les North Cork, know us by this time." The Major smiled, while he still pressed his services to see them past the pickets, but they were resolved and would not be denied. "With the word for the night, we want nothing more," said Father Luke. "Well then," said the major, in the gravest tone, and he was naturally grave, "you shall have your way, but remember to call out loud, for the first sentry is a little deaf, and a very passionate, til-tempered fellow to boot." " Never fear," said Father Mooney, laughing; " I'll go bail he'll hcjir me." 'V, :;!- the word for the night is' Bloody end to the Pope ' HARRY LORREQUER. 51 don't forget now, ' Bloody end to the Pope. ' " and with these words he banged the door between him and the unfortunate priests ; and as bolt was fastened after bolt, they heard him laughing to himself like a fiend over his vengeance. " And big bad luck to ye, Major Jones, for the same, every day ye see a paving stone," was the faint sub-audible ejaculation of Father Luke, when he was recovered enough to speak. "Sacristi! que nous sommes attrapes," said the Abbe, scarcely able to avoid laughing at the situation in which they were placed. " Well, there's the quarter chiming now; we've no time to lose Maior Jones! Major, darling! don't now, ah, don't! sure ye know we'll be ruined entirely there now, just change it, like a dacent fellow the devil's luck to him, he's gone. Well, we can't stay here in the rain all night, and be expelled in the morning afterward so come along." They jogged on for a few minutes in silence, till they came to that part of the " Duke's " demesne wall, where the first sentry was stationed. By this time the officers, headed by the major, had qui- etly slipped out of the gate, and were following their steps at a con- venient distance. The fathers had stopped to consult together, what they should do in this trying emergency when their whisper being overheard, the sentinel called out gruffly, in the genuine dialect of his country, " Who goes that ?" " Father Luke Mooney, and the Abbe D' Array," said the former, in his most bland and insinuating tone of voice, a quality he most eminently possessed. " Stand and give the countersign." " We are coming from the mess, and going home to the college," said Father Mooney, evading the question, and gradually advancing as he spoke. " Stand, or I'll shot ye," said the North Corkian. Father Luke halted, while a muttered "Blessed Virgin" an- nounced his state of fear and trepidation. " D' Array, I say, what are we to do?" " The countersign," said the sentry, whose figure they could per- ceive in the dim distance of about thirty yards. " Sure ye'll let us pass, my good lad, and ye'll have a friend in Father Luke the longest day ye live, and ye might have a worse in time of need; ye understand." Whether he did understand or not, he certainly did not heed, for his only reply was the short click of his gun-lock, that bespeaks a preparation to fire. " There's no help now," said Father Luke. " I see he's a hay- then; and bad luck to the major, I say again;" and this in the full- ness of his heart he uttered aloud. " That's not the countersign," said the inexorable sentry, striking the but-end of the musket "on the ground with a crash that smote teiror into the hearts of the priests. ^ Mumble mumble " to the Pope," said Father Luke, pronoun- cing the last words distinctly, after the approved practice of a Dublin watchman, on being awoke "from his dreams of row and riot by the Jast toll of the Poet-office, and not knowing whether it has struck 52 "twelve" or "three" sings out the word "o'clock," in a long sonorous drawl, that wakes every sleeping citizen and yet tells noth- ing how " time speeds on his flight." " Louder," said the sentry, in a voice of impatience. " to the Pope." " I don't hear the first part. " " O then," said the priest, with a sigh that might have melted the heart of anything but a sentry, " Bloody end to the Pope; and may the saints in heaven forgive me for saying it." " Again," called out the soldier; " and no muttering." " Bloody end to the Pope," cried Father Luke, in bitter despera- tion. " Bloody end to the Pope," echoed the Abbe. ",Pass, bloody end to the Pope, and good night," said the sentry, resuming his rounds, while a loud and uproarious peal of laughter behind told the unlucky priests they were overheard by others, and that the story would be over the whole town, hi the morning. "NVh ether it was that the penance for their heresy took long in ac- complishing, or that they never could summon courage sufficient to face their persecutor, certain it is, the North Cork saw them no more, nor were they ever observed to pass the precincts of the college, while that regiment occupied Maynooth. Major Jones himself, and his confederates, could not have more heartily relished this story, than did the party to whom the doctor related it. Much, if not all the amusement it afforded, however, resulted from his inimitable mode of telling, and the power of mim- icry, with which he conveyed the dialogue with the sentry, and this, alas, must be lost to my readers, at least to that portion of them not fortunate enough to possess Dr. Finucane's acquaintance. "Fin! Fin! your long story has nearly famished me," said the padre, as the laugh subsided; " and there you sit now with the jug ut your elbow this half-hour; I never thought you would forget your old friend Martin Hanegan's aunt. " " Here's to her health," said Fin; " and your reverence will get us the chant. ' ' "Agreed," said Father Malachi, finishing a bumper; and after giving a few preparatory hems, he sang the following " singularly wild and beautiful poem," as some one calls Christabel: " Here's a health to Martin Hanegan's aunt, And I'll tell ye the reason why She eats bekase she is hungry, And drinks bekase she is dry. " And if ever a man Stopped the course of a can, Martin Hanegan's aunt would cry Arrah, fill up your glass,' And let the jug pass: How d'ye know but your's neighbor's dhryf " " Come, my lord and gentlemen, de capo, if ye please. Fill up your glass," &c; and the clianon was chorused with a strength and vigor that would have astonished the Philharmonic. The mirth and fun now grew " fast and furious," and Fathef Malachi, rising with the occasion, flung his reckless drollery and HARRY LOUREQUER. 53 fun on every side, sparing none, from his cousin to the coadjutor. It was now that peculiar period in the evening's enjoyment, when an expert and practical chairman gives up all interference, or man- agement, and leaves everything to take its course; this then was the happy moment selected by Father Malachi to propose the little " contribution." He brought a plate from a side-table, and placing it before him, addressed the company in a very brief but sensible speech, detailing the object of the institution he was advocating, and concluding with the following words: "And now ye '11 just give whatever ye like, according to your means in life, and what ye can spare." The admonition, like the " morale " of an income tax, having the immediate effect of pitting each man against his neighbor, and sug- gesting to their already excited spirits all the ardor of gambling, without, however, a prospect of gain. The plate was first handed to me hi honor of my " rank," and having deposited upon it a handful of small silver, the priest ran his fingers through the coin, and called out: " Five pounds! at least; not a farthing less, as I'm a sinner. Look then see, now; they tell ye, the gentlemen don't care for the like of ye, but see for yourselves. May I trouble y'r lordship to pass the plate to Mr. Mahony he's impatient, I see." Mr. Mahony, about whom I perceived very little of the impatience alluded to, was a grim-looking old Christian, hi a rabbit-skin waist- coat, with long flaps, who fumbled in the recesses of his breeches pocket for five minutes, and then drew forth three shillings, which he laid upon the plate, with what I fancied very much resembled a sigh. " Six and sixpence, is it? or five shillings? all the same, Mr. Mahony, and I'll not forget the thrifle you were speaking about this morning anyway, ' ' and here he leaned over as interceding with me for him, but in reality to whisper into my ear, " the greatest miser from this to Castlebar. " " Who's that put down the half -guinea in goold?" (and this time he spoke the truth). " Who's that, I say?" " Tim Kennedy, your reverence," said Tim, stroking his hair down with one hand, and looking proud and modest, at the same moment. " Tim, ye're a credit to us any day, and I always said so. It's a gauger he d like to be, my lord," said he, turning to me, in a kind of stage whisper. I nodded and muttered something, when he thanked me most profoundly as if his suit had prospered. "Mickey Oulahan the lord's looking at ye, Mickey." This was said pianissime across the table, and had the effect of increasing Mr. Oulahan's donation from five shillings to seven the last two being pitched in very much in the style of a gambler making his final coup, and crying, " va banque." "The Oulahans were al- ways dacent people dacent people, my lord." ' ' Be gorra, the Oulahans was niver dacenter nor the Molowneys, anyhow," said a tall athletic young fellow, as he threw down three crown pieces, with an energy that made every com leap from the plate. " They'll do now," said Father Brennan; " I'll leave them to 54 HARRY LORREQUER. themselves," and truly the eagerness to get the plate and put down the subscription, fully equaled the rapacious anxiety I have witnessed in an old maid at loo, to get possession of a thirty-shilling pool, be the same more or less, which lingered on its way to her, in the hands of many a fair competitor. "Mr. M'Neesh" Curzon had hitherto escaped all notice "Mr. M'Neesh, to your good health," cried Father Brennan. " It's many a secret they'll be getting out o' ye down there about the Scotch husbandry." Whatever poor Curzon knew of " drills," certainly did not extend to them when occupied by turnips. This allusion of the priest's be- ing caught up by the party at the foot of the table, they commenced a series of inquiries into different Scotch plans of tillage his brief and unsatisfactory answers to which, they felt sure, were given in order to evade imparting information. By degrees, as they continued to press him with questions, his replies grew more short, and a gen- eral feeling of dislike on both sides was not very long in following. The father saw this, and determining with his usual tact to repress it, called on the adjutant for a song. Now, whether he had but one in the world, or whether he took this mode of retaliating for the an- noyance he had suffered, I know not ; but true it is, he finished his tumbler at a draught, and with a voice of no veiy peculiar sweet- ness, though abundantly loud, began " The Boyne Water." He had just reached the word " battle," in the second line, upon which he was bestowing what he meant to be a shake, when, as if the word suggested it, it seemed the signal for a general engage- ment. Decanters, glasses, jugs, candlesticks ay, and the money- dish, flew right and left all originally intended, it is true, for the head of the luckless adjutant, but as they now and then missed their aim, and came in contact with the ' ' wrong man, ' ' invariably pro- voked retaliation, and in a very few minutes the battle became gen- eral. What may have been the doctor's political sentiments on this occa- sion 1 cannot even guess; but he seemed bent on performing the part of a "convivial Lord Stanley," and maintaining a dignified neutrality. With this apparent object, he mounted upon the table, to raise himself, I suppose, above the din and commotion of party clamor, and brandishing a jug of scalding water, bestowed it with perfect impartiality on the combatants on either side. This Whig plan of conciliation, however well intended, seemed not to prosper with either party; and many were the missiles directed at the ill- starred doctor. Meanwhile, Father Malachi, whether following the pacific instinct of his order, in seeking an asylum in troublesome times, or equally moved by an old habit to gather coin in low places (much of the money having fallen), was industriously endeavoring to insert himself beneath the table; in this, with one vigorous push, he at last succeeded, but in so doing, lifted it from its legs, and thus destroying poor " Fin's " gravity, precipitated hiui, jug and all, into the thickest of the fray, where he met witli that kind reception suck a benefactor ever receives at the hands of a grateful public. I mean- while hurried to rescue poor Curzon, who, having fallen to the ground, was getting a cast of his features taken in pewter, for such geemed the operation a stout farmer was performing on the adju- HARRY LORREQUER. 5,' tent's face. with a quart. With considerable difficulty, notwithstand- ing my supposed " lordship," I succeeded in freeing him from his present position ; and he concluding, probably, that enough had been done for one " sitting," most unwillingly permitted me to lead him from the room. 1 was soon joined by the doctor, who assisted me in getting my poor friend to bed; which being done, he most eagerly entreated me to join the company. This, however, I firmly but mildly declined; very much to his surprise; for as he remarked, " They'll all be like lambs now, for they don't believe there's a whole bone in his body." Expressing my deep sense of the Christian-like forbearance of the party, I pleaded fatigue, and bidding him good night, adjourned to my bedroom; and here, although the arrangements fell somewhat short of the luxurious ones appertaining to my late apartment at Callonby, they were most grateful at the moment; and having " ad- dressed myself to slumber," fell fast asleep, and only awoke late on the following morning to wonder where I was ; from any doubts as to which 1 was speedily relieved by the entrance of the priest's bare- footed " colleen " to deposit on my table a bottle of soda water, and announce breakfast, with his reverence's compliments. Having made a hasty toilet, 1 proceeded to the parlor, which, how- ever late events might have impressed upon my memory, 1 could scarcely recognize. Instead of the long oak table and the wassail bowl, there stood near the fire a small round table, covered with a snow-white cloth, upon which shone in unrivaled brightness a very handsome tea equipage the hissing kettle on one hob was vis-d-vis'd by a gridiron with three newly taken trout, frying under the rever- ential care of Father Malachi himself a heap of egg's ranged like shot in an ordnance yard, stood in the middle of the table, while a formidable pile of buttered toast browned before the grate the morn- ing papers were airing upon the hearth everything bespoke that attention to comfort and enjoyment one likes to discover in the house where chance may have domesticated him for a day or two. "Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer. I trust you have rested well," said Father Malachi, as 1 entered. " Never better; but where are our friends?" " 1 have been visiting and comforting them in their affliction, and I may with truth assert it is not often my fortune to have three as sickly-looking guests. That was a most unlucky affair last night, and 1 must apologize." " Don't say a word, 1 entreat; I saw how it all occurred, and am quite sure if it had not been for poor Curzon's ill-timed melody " " You are quite right," said the father interrupting me. " Your friend's taste for music bad luck to it! was the ' teterrtma causa belli.'" " And the subscription," said I; " how did it succeed?" " Oh, the money went in the commotion; and although 1 have got some seven pounds odd shillings of it, the war was a most expensive one to me. 1 caught old Mahoney very busy under the table during the fray; but let us say no more about it now draw over your chair. Tea or coffee! there's the rum if you like it ' chasse.' ' 1 immediately obeyed the injunction, and commenced a vigorous 56 HARRY LORREQUER. assault upon the trout, caught, as he informed me, " within twenty perches of the house." " Your poor friend's nose is scarcely regimental," said he, " this morning; and as for Fin, he was never remarkable for beauty, so, though they might cut and hack, they could scarcely disfigure him, as Juvenal says isn't it Juvenal? " ' Vacuus viator cantabit ante latronem:' or in the vernacular: " ' The empty traveler may whistle Before the robber aud his pistil ' (pistol). There's the Chili vinegar another morsel of the trout?" " I thank you: what excellent coffee, Father Malachi!" " A secret I learned at St. Omer's some thirty years since. Any letters, Bridget?" to a damsel who entered with a packet hi her hand. " A gossoon from Kilrush, y'r reverence, with a bit of note for the gentleman there." "Forme! ah, true enough. Harry Lorrequer, Esq., Kilrush try Carrigaholt. " So ran the superscription the first part being in a lady's handwriting; the latter very like the "rustic paling'' of the worthy Mrs. Healy's style. The seal was a large one, bearing a coronet at top, and the motto in old Norman-French told me it came from Callonby. With what a trembling hand and beating heart I broke it open, and yet feared to read it so much of my destiny might be in that simple page. For once in my life my sanguine spirit failed me, my mind could take in but one casualty, that Lady Jane had divulged to her family the nature of my attentions, and that in the letter be- fore me lay a cold mandate of dismissal from her presence forever. At last 1 summoned courage to read it ; but having scrupled to present to my readers the Reverend Father Brcnnan at the tail of a chapter, let me not be less punctilious in the introduction of her lady- ship's billet. CHAPTER VII. THE LADY'S LETTER PETER AND HIS ACQUAINTANCE TOO LATE. HER ladyship's letter ran thus: " CALLONBY, Tuesday morning. " MY DEAR MR. LORREQUER, My Lord has deputed me to con- rcy to you our adieus, and at the same time to express our very great regret that we should not have seen you before our departure from Ireland. A sudden call of the House, and some unexpected minis- terial changes, require Lord Callonby's immediate presence in town-, and probably before this reaches you we shall be on the road. Lord Kilkee, who left us yesterday, was much distressed at not having seen you he desired 'me to say you shall hear from him from Leam- ington. Although writing amid all the haste and bustle of depart- ure, 1 must not forget the principal part of my commission, nor lady-like defer it to a postscript; my lord entreats that you will, if HAHXY LOPJIT:Q::;:II. 57 possible, pass a month or two with us in London this season ; and if any difficulty should occur in obtaining leave of absence, to make any use of his name you think fit at the Horse Guards, where he has some influence. Knowing, as I do, with what kindness you ever accede to the wishes of your friends, 1 need not say how much grati- fication this will afford us all; but, sans response, we expect you. Believe me to remain, yours very sincerely, " CHARLOTTE CALLONBY. " P.S. We are all quite well except Lady Jane, who has a slight cold and has been feverish for the last day or two." Words cannot convey any idea of the torrent of contending emotions under which 1 perused this letter. The suddenness of the depart- ure, without an opportunity of even a moment's leave-taking, com- pletely unmanned me. What would i not have given to be able to see her once more, even for an instant to say " agood-by "to watch the feeling with which she parted from me, and augur from it either favorably to my heart's dearest hope, or darkest despair. As I con- tinued to read on, the kindly tone of the remainder reassured me, and when 1 came to the invitation to London, which plainly argued a wish on their part to perpetuate the indmacy, 1 was obliged to read it again and again, before 1 could convince myself of its reality. There it was, however, most distinctly and legibly impressed in her ladyship's fairest calligraphy; and certainly great as was its conse- quence to me at the time, it by no means formed the principal part of the communication. The two lines of postscript contained more, far more food for hopes and fears than did all the rest of the epistle. Lady Jane was ill then, slightly however a mere cold; true, but she was feverish. 1 could not help asking myself what share had 1 in causing that flushed cheek and anxious eye, and pictured to my- self, perhaps with more vividness than reality, a thousand little traits of manner, all proofs strong as holy writ to my sanguine mind, that my affection was returned, and that I loved not in vain. Again and again 1 read over the entire letter; never truly did a nisi prius lawyer con over a new act of Parliament with more searching ingenuity, to detect its hidden meaning, than did 1 to unravel through its plain phraseology the secret intention of the writer toward me. There is an old and not less true adage, that what we wish we readily believe; and so with me I found myself an easy convert to my own hopes and desires; and actually ended by persuading myself no very hard task that my Lord Callonby had not only witnessed but approved of my attachment to his beautiful daughter, and for reasons probably known to him, but concealed from me, opined that 1 was a suitable "parti," and gave all due encouragement to my suit. The hint about using his lordship's influence at the Horse Guards I resolved to benefit by; not, however, in obtaining leave of absence, which I hoped to accomplish more easily, but with his good sanction in pushing my promotion, when 1 claimed him as my right honorable father-in-law a point on the propriety of which 1 had now fully satisfied myself. What visions of rising greatness burst upon my mind, as I thought on the prospect that opened before me! but here let me do myself the justice to record that, amid all my pleasure and exultation, my proudest thought was in the anticipation 58 HARRY LORREQUKR. of possessing one in every way so much my superior the very con- sciousness of which imparted a thrill of fear to my heart that such good fortune was too much even to hope for. How long 1 might have luxuriated in such Chateaux en Espagne heaven knows; thick and thronging fancies came abundantly to my mind, and it was with something of the feeling of the porter in the Arabian Nights, as he surveyed the fragments of his broken ware, hurled down in a moment of glorious dreaminess, that I turned to look at the squat and uuaristocratic figure of Father Malachi, as he sat reading his newspaper before the fire. How came I in such company; methinks the Dean of AVindsor, or the Bishop of Durham, had been a much more seemly associate for one destined as 1 was for the flood-tide of the world's favor. My eye at this instant rested upon the date of the letter, which was that of the preceding morning, and immediately a thought struck me that, as the day was a lowering and gloomy one, perhaps they might have deferred their journey, and I at once determined to hasten to Uallonby, and, if possible, see them before their departure. " Father Brennan, " said 1, at length. "I have just received a letter which compels me to reach if il rash as soon as possible. Is there any public conveyance in the village?" " You don't talk of leaving us, surely," said the priest, " and a haunch of mutton for dinner, and Fin says he'll be down, and your friend, too, and we'll have poor Beamish in on a sofa." " I am sorry to say my business will not permit of delay, but, if possible, 1 shall return to thank you for all your kindness, in a day or two perhaps to-morrow." " Oh, then," said Father Brennan, " if it must be so, why you can have ' Pether,' my own pad, and a better you never laid leg over ; only give him his own time, and let him keep the ' canter,' and he'll never draw up from morning till night; and now I'll just go and have him in readiness for you." After professing my warm acknowledgments to the good father for his kindness, I hastened to take a hurried farewell of Curzon before going. I found him sitting up in bed, taking his breakfast; a large strip of black plaster, extending from the corner of one eye across the nose, and terminating near the mouth, denoted the locale of a goodly wound, while the blue, purple and yellow patches into which his face was partitioned out, left you in doubt whether he now re- sembled the knave of clubs or a new map of the Ordnance survey; one nand was wrapped up in a bandage, and altogether a more rueful and woe-begone figure I have rarely looked upon ; and most certain- ly I am of opinion that the " glorious, pious and immortal memory " would have brought pleasanter recollections to Daniel O'Connell him- self than it would on that morning to the adjutant of his majesty's 4-th. " Ah, Harry," said he, as I entered, " what Pandemonium is this we've got into? Did you ever witness such a business as last night's?" " Why, truly," said I, " I know of no one to blame but yourself; surely you must have known what a fracas your infernal song would bring on." " I don't know whether I knew it or not; but certainly at the mo HARRY LORREQUER. 59 ment I should have preferred anything to the confounded cross-ex- amination I was under, and was glad to end it l>y any coup d'etat. One wretch was persecuting me about green crops, and another about the feeding of bullocks; about either of which I knew as much as a bear does of a ballet." " Well, truly, you caused a diversion at some expense to j'our countenance, for I never beheld anything " " Stop there," said he, " you surely have not seen the doctor he beats me hollow they have scarcely left so much hair on his head as would do for an Indian's scalp lock; and, of a verity, his as-p- :! is awful this morning; he has just been here, and by-the-bye has told me all about the affair with Beamish. It appears that somewhere you met him at dinner, and gave a very flourishing account of a relative of his who you informed him was not only selected for some very dashing service, but actually the personal friend of Picton; and, after the family having blazed the matter all over Cork, and given a great entertainment in honor of their kinsman, it turns out that, on the glorious 18th, he ran away to Brussels faster than even the French to Charleroi ; for which act, however, there was no aspersion ever cast upon his courage, that quality being defended at the expense of his honesty; in a word, he was the paymaster of his company, and had. what Theodore Hook calls an ' affection of his chest,' that required change of air. Looking only to the running away part of the matter, I unluckily expressed some" regret that he did not belong to the North Cork, and I remarked the doctor did not seem to relish the allusion, and as I only now remember, it was his regiment, I sup- pose I'm in for more mischief." I had no time to enjoy Curzon's dilemma, and had barely informed him of my intended departure, when a voice from without the room proclaimed that ' ' Pether' ' was ready, and, having commissioned the adjutant to say the " proper" to Mr. Beamish and the doctor, hurried away, and after a hearty shake of the hand from Father Brennan, and a faithful promise to return soon, I mounted and set off. Peter's pace was of all others the one least likely to disturb the lucubrations of a castle-builder like myself; without any admonition from whip or spur he maintained a steady and constant canter, which, I am free to confess, was more agreeable to sit, than it was graceful to behold; for his head being much lower than his tail, he every moment appeared in the attitude of a diver about to plunge into tlio water, and more than once I had misgivings that I would consult uiv safety better if I sat with my face to the tail; however, what will not habit accomplish? Before I had gone a mile or two, I was so lost in my own reveries and reflections that I knew nothing of my mode of progression, and had only thoughts and feelings for the des- tiny that awaited me; sometimes I would fancy myself seated in the House of Commons (on the ministerial benches, of course), while some leading oppositionist was pronouncing a glowing panegyric upon the eloquent ami statesmanlike speech of the gallant colonel myself; then 1 thought I was making arrangements for setting out for my new appointment, and Saucho Panza never coveted the government of an island more than I did, though only a West Indian one; and lastly, I saw myself the chosen diplomat on a diffi- cult mission, and was actually engaged in the easy and agreeable 60 HARRY LORREQUER. occupation of outmaneuvering Talleyrand and Pozzp di Borgo, when Peter suddenly drew up at the door of a small cabin, and convinced me that 1 was still a mortal man, and a lieutenant in his majesty's 4-th. Before I had time afforded me even to guess at the reason of this sudden halt, an old man emerged from the cabin, which I saw now was a road-side ale-house, and presented Peter with a bucket of meal and water, a species of " viaticum" that he evidently was ac- customed to, at this place, whether bestrode by a priest or an em- bassador. Before me lay a long straggling street of cabins, irregu- larly thrown, as if riddled over the ground ; this I was informed was Kilkee. While my good steed, therefore, was enjoying his potation, I dismounted, to stretch my legs and look about me, and scarcely had I done so when I found half the population of the village assembled round Peter, whose claims to notoriety, I now learned, depended neither upon his owner's fame, nor even my temporary possession of him. Peter, in fact, had been a racer once when, the Wandering Jew might perhaps have told had he ever visited CJlare, for not the oldest inhabitant knew the date of his triumphs on the turf; though they were undisputed traditions, and never did any man appear bold enough to call them in question; whether it was from his patriarchal character, or that he was the only race-horse ever known in his county I cannot say, but of a truth, the Grand Lama, could scarce- ly be a greater object of reverence in Thibet, than was Peter in Silkee. " Musha, Peter, but it's well y'r looking," cried one. " Ah, thin, maybe ye an't fat on the ribs," cried another. " An' cockin' his tail like a coult," said a third. I am very certain, if I might venture to judge from the faces about, that, had the favorite for the St. Leger passed through Kilkee at that moment, comparisons very little to his favor had been drawn from the assemblage around me. With some difficulty I was per- mitted to reach my much admired steed, and with a cheer, which was sustained and caught up by every denizen of the village as I passed through, I rode on my way, not a little amused at my equivo- cal popularity. Being desirous to lose no time, I diverged from the straight road which leads to Kilrush, and took a cross bridle-path to Callonby; this I afterward discovered was a deiour of a mile or two, and it was already sunset when I reached the entrance to the park. I entered the avenue, and now my impatience became extreme, for, although Peter continual to move at the same uniform pace, I could not per- suade myself that he was not foundering at every step, and was quite sure we were scarcely advancing; at last I reached the wooden bridge, and ascended the steep slope, the spot where I had first met her, on whom my every thought now rested. I turned the angle of the clump of beech trees from whence the first view of the house is caught I perceived to my inexpressible delight that gleams of light shone from many of the windows, and couia trace their passing from one to the other. I now drew rein, and with a heart relieved from a load of anxiety, pulled up my good steed, and began to think of the position hi which a few brief seconds would place me. I reached the small flower garden, sacred by a thousand endearing recollections. Oh, of how very little account are the many words of passing kindness, HARRY LORREQUER. 61 and moments of light-hearted pleasure, when spoken or felt, com- pared to the memory of them when hallowed by time or distance. " The place, the hour, the sunshine and the shade," all reminded me of the happy past, and all brought vividly before me every por- tion of that dream of happiness in which I was so utterly so com- pletely steeped every thought of the hopelessness of my passion was lost in the intensity of it, and I did not, in the ardor of my loving, atop to think of its possible success. it was strange enough that the extreme impatience, the hurried anxiety, 1 had felt and suffered from, while riding up the avenue, had now fled entirely, and in its place I felt nothing but a diffident distrust of myself, and a vague sense of awkwardness about intrud- ing thus unexpectedly upon the family, while engaged in all the cares and preparations for a speedy departure. The hall-door lay as usual wide open, the hall itself was strewn and littered with trunks, im- perials, and packing-cases, and the hundred et ceteras of traveling baggage. I hesitated a moment whether I should not ring, but at last resolved to enter unannounced, and, presuming upon my inti- macy, see what effect my sudden appearance would have on Lady Jane, whose feelings toward me would be thus most unequivocally tested. I passed along the wide corridor, entered the music-room it was still I walked then to the door of the drawing-room I paused I drew a full breath my hand trembled slightly as I turnetl the lock I entered the room was empty, but the blazing fire upon the hearth, the large arm-chairs drawn around, the scattered books upon the small tables, all told that it had been inhabited, a very short time before. Ah! thought I looking at my watch, they are at dinner, and I began at once to devise a hundred different plans to account for my late absence and present visit. I knew that a few minutes would probably bring them into the drawing-room, and I felt flurried and heated as the time drew near. At last I heard voices without I started from the examination of a pencil-drawing but partly finished, but the artist of which I could not be deceived in I listened the sounds drew near I could not distinguish who were the speakers the door-lock turned, and I rose to make my well-conned, but half- forgotten speech; and oh, confounded disappointment, Mrs. Herbert, the housekeeper; entered. She started, not expecting to see me, and immediately said : 'Oh! Mr. Lorrequer! then you've missed them. " ' Missed them!" said I; "how when where?" ' Did you not get a note from my lord?" ' No; when was it written?" ' Oh, dear me, that is so very unfortunate. Why, sir, my lord sent off a servant this morning to Kilrush, in Lord Kilkee's tilbury, to request you would meet them all in Ennis this evening, where they had intended to stop for to-night; and they waited here till near four o'clock to-day, but when the servant came back with the intelligence that you were from home, and not expected to return soon, they were obliged to set out, and are not going to make any delay now till they reach London. The last direction, however, my lord gave, waa to forward my ladyship's letter as soon as possible." What I thought, said, or felt, might be a good subject of confes- sion to Father Malachi, for I fear it may be recorded among my sins f 62 HARRY LORREQUER. as I doubt not that the agony I suffered vented itself in no measured form of speech or conduct ; but I have nothing to confess here on the subject, being so totally overwhelmed as not to know what I did or said. My first gleam of reason elicited itself by asking: " Is there, then, no chance of their stopping in Ennis, to-night?" As I put the question my mind reverted to Peter and his eternal canter. " Oh, dear, no, sir; the horses are ordered to take them, since Tuesday; and they only thought of staying in Ennis, if you came time enough to meet them and they will be so sony. " ' Do you think so, Mrs. Herbert? do you indeed think so?" said I, n a most insinuating tone. ' I am perfectly sure of it, sir. " ' Oh, Mrs. Herbert, you are too kind to think so; but perhaps that is maybe, Mrs. Herbert, she said something " 'Who, sir?" ' Lady Callonby, I mean ; did her ladyship leave any message for me about her plants? or did she remember " Mrs. Herbert kept looking at me all the time, with her great wide gray eyes, while I kept stammering and blushing like a school-boy. " No, sir; her ladyship said nothing, sir; but Lady Jane " " Yes; well, what of Lady Jane, my dear Mrs. Herbert?" " Oh, sir! but you look pale; would not you like to have a little wine and water or perhaps " " No, thank, nothing whatever; I am just a little fatigued but you were mentioning " "Yes, sir; I was saying that Lady Jane was mighty particular about a small plant; she ordered it to be left in her dressing-room, though Collins told her to have some of the handsome ones of the green-house she would have nothing but this, and if you were only to hear half the directions she gave about keeping it watered and tak- ing off dead leaves, you'd think her heart was set on it." Mrs. Herbert would have had no cause to prescribe for my pale- ness had she only looked at me this time; fortunately, however, she was engaged, housekeeper like, in bustling among books, papers etc., which she had come in for the purpose of arranging and packing up. She being left behind to bring up the rear, and the heavy baggage. Very few moments' consideration were sufficient to show me that pursuit was hopeless; whatever might have been Peter's perform- ance in the reign of " Queen Anne," he had now become like the goose so pathetically described by my friend Lover, rather " stiff in his limbs," and the odds were fearfully against his overtaking four horses, starting fresh every ten miles, not to mention their being some hours in advance already. Having declined all Mr*. Herbert's many kind offers anent food and rest, I took a last lingering look at the beautiful picture, which still held its place in the room lately mine, and hurried from a place so full of recollections; and notwithstand- ing the many reasons I had for self -grat illation, every object around and about filled me with sorrow and regret for hours that had passed never, never to return. It was very late when I reached my old quarters at Kilrush; Mrs. Healy fortunately was in bed asleep-^-fortiiuately, I say; for had she selected that occasion to vent her indignation for my long absence, I HARRY LOKREQUER. 63 greatly fear that, in my then temper, I should have exhibited but little of that Job-like endurance for which I was once esteemed; I en- tered my little mean-looking parlor, with its three chairs and lame table, and, as I flung myself upon the wretched substitute for a sofa, and thought upon the varied events which a few weeks had brought about, it required the aid of her lad} r ship's letter, which I opened before me, to assure me I was not dreaming. The entire of that night I could not sleep; my destiny seemed upon its balance; and whether the scale inclined to this side or that, good or evil fortune seemed to betide me. How many were my plans and resolutions, and how often abandoned; again to be pondered over, and once more given up. The gray dawn of the morning was already breaking, and found me still doubting and uncertain. At last the die was "thrown; I determined at once to apply for leave to my commanding officer (which he could, if he pleased, give me, with- out any application to the Horse Guards), set out for Elton, tell Sir Guy my whole adventure, and endeavor, by a more moving love story than ever graced even the Minerva Press, to induce him to make some settlement on me, and use his influence with Lord Cal- lonby in my behalf; this done, set out for London, and then and then what then? then for the Morning Post" Cadeau de nbces " " happy couple " " Lord Callonby's seat in Hampshire," etc, etc. " You wished to be called at five, sir," said Stutber. " Yes; is it five o'clock?" " No, sir; but I heard you call out something about ' four horses,' and I thought you might be hurried, so I came a little earlier." " Quite right, Stubber, let me have my breakfast as soon as possi- ble, and see that chestnut horse I brought here last night, fed. ' ' " And now for it," said I, after writing a hurried note to Curzon, requesting him to take command of my party at Kilrush, till he heard from me, and sending my kindest remembrance to my three iriends ; I dispatched the epistle by my servant on Peter, while I hastened to secure a place in the mail for Ennis, on the box seat of which let my kind reader suppose me seated, as wrapping my box- coat around me, I lit my cigar and turned my eyes toward Limerick. CHAPTER VIII CONGRATULATIONS SICK LEAVE HOW TO PASS THE BOARD. I HAD scarcely seated myself at breakfast at Swineburne's hotel in Limerick, when the waiter presented me with a letter. As my first glance at the address showed it to be in Colonel Garden's handwrit- ing, I felt not a little alarmed for the consequences of the rash step I had taken in leaving my detachment; and, while quickly thronging fancies of arrest and court-martial flitted before me, I summoned resolution at last to break the seal, and read as follows: " .My dear Lorrequer," (" dear Lorrequer!" dear me, thought I, cool certainly, from one I have ever regarded as an open enemy) " My dear L'orrequer, I have just accidentally heard of your arrival here, ami hasten to inform you, that, as it may not be impossible your reasons for so abruptly leaving your detachment are known to 64 HARRY LOKREQUER. me, I shall not visit your breach of discipline very heavily. My old and worthy friend, Lord Callonhy, who passed through here yester- day, has so warmly interested himself in your behalf, that I feel dis- posed to do all in my power to serve you ; independently of my de- sire to do so on your own account. Come over here then, as soon as possible, and let us talk over your plans together. " Believe me most truly yours, " HENRY CARDEN. " Barracks, 10 o'clock." However mysterious and difficult to unravel, have been some of the circumstances narrated in these " Confessions," I do not scruple to avow that the preceding letter was to me was by far the most inexplicable piece of fortune I had hitherto met with. That Lord Callonby should have converted one whom I believed an implacable foe, into a most obliging friend, was intelligible enough, seeing that his lordship had through life been the patron of the colonel ; but why he had so done, and what communications he could possibly have made with regard to me, that Colonel Garden should speak o'f " my plans " and proffer assistance in them, was a perfect riddle; and the only solution, one so ridiculously flattering that I dared not think of it. I read and re-read the note; misplaced the stops, can- vassed every expression; did all to detect a meaning different from the obvious one, fearful of a self-deception where so much was at stake. Yet'there it stood forth, a plain, Straightforward proffer of services, for some object evidently known to the writer; and my only conclusion, from all, was this, that " my Lord Callonby was the gem of his order, and had a most remarkable talent for selecting a son- in-law." I fell into a deep reverie upon my past life, and the prospects which I now felt were opening before me. Nothing seemed extrav-. agant to hopes so well founded to expectations so brilliant and, in my mind's eye, I beheld myself at one moment leading my young and beautiful bride through the crowded salons of Devonshire House; and at the next I was contemplating the excellence and perfection of my stud arrangements at Melton, for I resolved not to give up hunting. While in this pleasurable exercise of my fancy, I was re- moving from before me some of the breakfast equipage, or, as I then believed it, breaking the trees into better groups upon my lawn, I was once more brought to the world and its dull reality, by the fol- lowing passage which my eye fell upon in the newspaper before me " We understand that the 4-th are daily expecting the route for Cork, from whence they are to sail, early in the ensuing month, for Halifax, to relieve the 88th." While it did not take a moment's con- sideration to show me that though the regiment there mentioned was the one I belonged to, I could have no possible interest in the an- nouncement; it never coming into my calculation that I should sub- mit to such expatriation; yet it gave me a salutary warning that there was no time to be lost in making my application for leave, which, once obtained, I should have ample time to manage an exchange into another corps. The wonderful revolution a few days had effected in all my tastes and desires, did not escape me at this moment. But a week or two before and I should have regarded an order for foreign HARRY LORREQUER. fi5 service as anything rather than unpleasant now the thought was insupportable. Then there would have been some charm to me in the very novelty of the locale, and the indulgence of that vagrant spirit I have ever possessed; for, like Just ice Woodcock, " I certainly should have been a vagabond if Providence had not made me a jus- tice of the peace "now, I could not even contemplate the thing ae possible; and would have actually refused the command of a regi- ment, if the condition of its acceptance were to sail for the colonies. Besides, I tried - -and how ingenious is self-deception I tried to find arguments in support of my determination totally different from the reasons which governed me. I affected to fear climate, and to dread the effect of the tropics upon my health. It may do very well, thought I, for men totally destitute of better prospects; with neither talent, influence, or powerful connection, to roast their cheeks at Sierra Leone, or suck a sugar cane at St. Lucia. But that you, Harry Lorrequer, should waste your sweetness upon planters' daughters that have only to be known to have the world as your feet! The thing is absurd, and not to be thought of! Yes, said I, half aloud we read in the army lists that Major A. is appointed to the 50th, and Captain B. to the 12th; but how much more near the truth would it be to say " That His Majesty, in consideration of the distinguished services of the one, has been graciously pleased to appoint him to a case of blue and collapsed cholera, in India; and also for the bravery and gallant conduct of the other, in his late affair with the 4 HOW-DOW-DALLAH INDIANS, ' has promoted him to the yellpw fever now devastating and desolating Jamaica." How far my zeal for the service might have carried me on this point I know not, for I was speedily aroused from my musings by the loud tramp of feet upon the stairs, and the sound of many well-known voices of my brother officers, who were coming to visit me. 44 So, Harry, my boy," said the fat major, as he entered, 4< is it trap, we are not to have the pleasure of your company to Jamaica this time?" " He prefers a pale face, it seems, to a black one; and certainly, with thirty thousand in the same scale, the taste is excusable." 44 But, Lorrequer," said a third, " we heard that you had canvassed the county on the Callonby interest. Why, man, wnere do you intend to pull up?" "As for me," lisped a large-eyed, white-haired ensign of three months' standing, " I think it devilish hard, old Garden didn't send me down there too, for I hear there are two girls in the family. Eh, Lorrequer?" Having, with all that peculiar bashfulness such occasions are sure to elicit, disclaimed the happiness my friends so clearly ascribed to me, I yet pretty plainly let it be understood that the more brilliant they supposed my present prospects to be, the more near were they to estimate them justly. One thing certainly gratified me throughout. All seemed rejoiced at rny good fortune, .and even the old Scotch paymaster made no more caustic remark than that he " wadna wonder if the duel's black whiskers wad get him made governor of Stirling Castle before he'd dee." Should any of my most patient listeners to these, my humble con- fessions, wonder either hire, o r ^Isewhere, upon what every slight 66 HAKRY LORREQUER. foundation I built these my " Chateaux en Espagne," I have only one answer " that from my boyhood I have had a taste for florid architecture, and would rather put up with any inconvenience of ground than not build at all." As it was growing late, I hurriedly bade adieu to my friends, and hastened to Colonel Garden's quarters, where I found him waiting for me, in company with my old friend, Fitzgerald, our regimental surgeon. Our first greetings over, the colonel drew me aside into a window, and said that, from certain expressions Lord Callonby had made use of certain hints he had dropped he was perfectly aware of the delicate position in which I stood with respect to his lordship's family. "In fact, my dear Lorrequer," he continued, "without wishing in the least to obtrude myself upon your confidence, I must yet be permitted to say, you are the luckiest fellow in Europe, and I most sincerely congratulate you on the prospect before you." " But, my dear colonel, I assure you " " Well, well, there not a word more; don't blush now. I know there is always a kind of secrecy thought necessary on these occa- sions, for the sake of other parties ; so let us pass to your plans. From what I have collected, j r ou have not yet proposed formally. But, of course, you desire a leave. You'll not quit the army, I trust; no necessity for that; such influence as yours can always ap'point you to an unattached commission." " Once more, let me protest, sir, that though for certain reasons toost desirous to obtain a leave of absence, I have not the most re- mote " "That's right, quite right; I am sincerely gratified to hear you say so, and so will be Lord Callonby; for he likes the service." And thus was my last effort at a disclaimer cut short by the loquacious little colonel, who regarded my unfinished sentence as a concurrence with his own opinion. " Allah il Allah," thought I, "it is my Lord Callonby '& own plot; and his friend Colonel Garden aids and abets him." "Now, Lorrequer," resumed the colonel, " let us proceed. You have, of course, heard that we are ordered abroad, mere newspaper report for the present; nevertheless, it is extremely difficult almost impossible, without a sick certificate, to obtain a leave sufficiently long for your purpose." And here he smirked, and I blushed, salon les regies. " A sick certificate," said I, in some suiprise. " The only thing for you," said Fitzgerald, taking a long pinch of snuff; " and I grieve to say you have a most villainous look of good health about you." " I must acknowledge Ihave seldom felt better." " So much the worse so much the worse,"' said Fitzgerald, de- spondingly. ' ' Is there no family complaint ; no respectable heirloom of infirmity, you can lay claim to from your kindred?" " None that I know of, unless a very active performance on the several occasions of breakfast, dinner, and supper, with a tendency toward port, and an inclination to sleep ten in every twenty-four hours, be a sign of sickness; these, svmptoms I have known many of the family suffer for years, without the slightest alleviation, HARRY LORREQUER, 67 though, strange as it may appear, they ocasionally had medical ad- vice." Fitz took no notice of my sneer at the faculty, but proceeded to strike my chest several times with his finger tips. " Try a short cough now," said he. " Ah, that will never do!" " Do you ever flush? Before dinner, I mean?" " Occasionally, when I meet with a luncheon." "I'm fairly puzzled," said poor Fitz, throwing himself into a chair; " gout is a very good thing; but then you see you are only a sub., and it is clearly against the articles of war to have it before being a field officer at least. Apoplexy is the best I can do for you ; and, to say the truth, any one who witnesses your performance at mess may put faith in the likelihood of it. Do you think you could get up a fit for the medical board?" said Fitz, gravely. " Why, if absolutely indispensable," said I, " and with good in- struction something this way. Eh, is it not?" " Nothing of the kind; you are quite wrong." " Is there not always a little laughing and crying?" said I. " Oh, no, no; take the cue from the paymaster any evening after mess, and you'll make no mistake very florid about the cheeks, rather a lazy look in one eye, the other closed up entirely; snore a little from time to time, and don't be much disposed to talk." " And you think I may pass muster in this way?" " Indeed you may, if old Camie, the inspector, happens to be (what he is not often) in a good humor. But I confess I'd rather you were really ill, for we've passed a great number of counterfeits lat- terly, and we may all be pulled up ere long." " Not the less grateful for your kindness," said I> " but still I'd rather matters stood as they do." Having at length obtained a very formidable statement of my " case " from the doctor, and a strong letter from the colonel, deplor- ing the temporary loss of so promising a young officer, I committed myself and my portmanteau to the inside of his Majesty's mail, and started for Dublin with as light a heart and high spirits as were con- sistent with so much delicacy of health, and the directions of my doctor. CHAPTER IX. THE ROAD TRAVELING ACQUAINTANCES A PACKET ADVENTURE. I SHALL not stop now to narrate the particulars of my visit to the worthies of the medical board ; the rather, as some of my ' ' confessions to come " have reference to Dublin, and many of those that dwell therein. I shall therefore content myself here with stating that with- out any difficulty I obtained a six months' leave, and having received much advice and more sympathy from many members of that body, took a respectful leave of them, and adjourned to Bilton's. where I had ordered dinner, and (as I was advised to live lowl a bottle of Sneyd's claret. My hours in Dublin were numbered ; at eight o'clock on the evening of my arrival I hastened to the Pidgeon House pier to take my berth in the packet for Liverpool ; and here, gentle reader, let me implore you, if you have bowels of compassion, to connaiser- 68 HARRY LORREQUER, ate the condition of a sorry mortal like myself. In the days of which I now speak, steam packets were not men knew not then of the pleasure of going to a comfortable bed in Kingston harbor and wak- ing on the morning after in the Clarence dock at Liverpool, wilh only the addition of a little sharper appetite for breakfast, before they set out on an excursion of forty miles per hour through the air. In the time I have now to commemorate, the intercourse between the two countries w r as maintained by two sailing vessels of small ton- nage, and still scantier accommodations. Of the one now in ques- tion, I well recollect the name she was called the " ALERT," and certainly a more unfortunate misnomer could scarcely be conceived. Well, there was no choice, so I took my place upon the crowded deck of the little craft, and in a drizzling shower of chilly rain, and amid more noise and confusion and bustle than would prelude the launch of a line of -battle ship, we " sidled," goose-fashion, from the shore and began our voyage toward England. It is not my intention, in the present state of " my Confessions," to delay on the road toward an event which influenced so powerfully, and so permanently, my after life ; yet I cannot refrain from chroni- cling a slight incident which occurred on board the packet, and which, I have no doubt, may be remembered by some of those who throw their eyes on these pages. One of my fellow passengers was a gentleman holding a high oflicial appointment in the viceregal court, either comptroller of the household, master of the horse, or something else equally magnifi- cent; however, whatever the nature of the situation, one thing is certain one possessed of more courtly manners, and more polished address, cannot be conceived, to which he added all the attractions of a very handsome person and a most prepossessing countenance. The only thing the most scrupulous critic could possibly detect as faulty in his whole air and bearing was a certain ultra refinement and fastidiousness, which in a man of acknowledged family and con- nections was somewhat unaccountable, and certainly unnecessary. The fastidiousness I speak of extended to everything round and about him ; he never eat of the wrong dish, nor spoke to the wrong man in his life, and that very consciousness gave him a kind of horror of chance acquaintances which made him shrink within himself from persons in eveiy respect his equals. Those who knew Sir Stewart Moore will know I do not exaggerate in either my praise or censure, and to those who have not had that pleasure, I have only to say theira was the loss, and they must take my word for the facts. The very antithesis to the person just mentioned was another pas- senger then on board. She for even in sex they were different she was a short, squat, red-faced, vulgar-looking woman, of about fifty, possessed of a most garrulous tendency, and talking indiscriminately with every one about her, careless what reception her addresses met with, and quite indifferent to the many rebuffs she momentarily en- countered. To me by what impulse driven Heaven knows this amorphous piece of womanhood seemed determined to attach her- self. Whether in the smoky and most impenetrable recesses of the cabin, or braving the cold and penetrating rain upon do? -k, it mat- tered not, she was ever at my side, and not only martyring me by tlie insufferable annoyance of her vulgar loquacity, but actually, HARRY LOUREQUER. 69 from the appearance of acquaintanceship such constant association gave rise to, frightening any one else from conversing with me, and rendering me, ere many hours, a perfect Pariah among the passengers. By no one were we for, alas, we had become Siamese so thoroughly dreaded as by the refined baronet I have mentioned; he appeared to shrink from our very approach, and avoided us as though we had the plagues of Egypt about us. I saw this I felt it deeply, and as deeply and resolutely I vowed to be revenged, and the time was not long distant in affording me the opportunity. The interesting Mrs. Mulrooney, for such was my fair companion called, was on the present occasion making her debut on what she was pleased to call the " says;" she was proceeding to the Liverpool market as proprietor and supercargo over some legion of swine that occupied the hold of the vessel, and whose mellifluous tones were occasionally heard in all parts of the ship. Having informed me on these, together with some circumstances of her birth and parentage, she proceeded to narrate some of the cautions given by her friends as to her safety when making such a long voyage, and also to detail some of the antiseptics to that dreadful scourge, sea-sick- ness, in the fear and terror of which she had come on board, and seemed every hour to be increasing in alarm about. " Do you think, then, sir, that pork is no good agin the sickness? Mickey, that's my husband, sir, says it's the only thing in life for it, av it's toasted." " Not the least use, I assure you." " Nor sperits and wather?" " Worse and worse, ma'am." " Oh, thin, maybe oaten mail tay would do? it's a beautiful thing for the stomick, anyhow." " Rank poison on the present occasion, believe me." " Oh, then, Blessed Mary, what am I to do what is to become of me?" "Go down at once to your berth, ma'am; lie still and without speaking till we come in sight of land; or," and here a bright thought seized me, " if you really feel very ill, call for that man there with the fur collar on his coat ; he can give you the only thing I ever knew of any efficacy; he's the steward, ma'am; Stewart Moore; but you must be on your guard, too, as you are a stranger, for he is a conceited fellow, and has saved a trifle, and sets up for a half gentleman ; so don't be surprised at his manner; though, after all, you may find him very different; some people, I've heard, think him" extremely civil." " And he has a cure, ye say?" " The only one I ever heard of; it is a little cordial of which you take, I don't know how much, every ten or fifteen minutes." " And the nay gur doesn't let the saycret out, bad manners to him 1" " No, ma'am; he has refused eveiy offer on the subject." " May I be so bowld as to ax his name again?" " Stewart Moore, ma'am. Moore is the name, but people always call him Stewart Moore; just say that in a loud, clear voice, and you'll soon have him." With the most profuse protestations of gratitude and promises of 70 HARRY LORREQUER. pork " d discretion," if I ever sojourned at Ballinasloe, my fair friend proceeded to follow my advice, and descended to the cabin. Some hours after, I also betook myself to my rest, from which, however, toward midnight, I was awakened by the heavy working and pitching of the little vessel, as she labored in a rougli sea. As I looked forth from my narrow crib, a more woe-begone picture can scarcely be imagined than that before me. Here and there through the gloomy cabin lay the victims of the fell malady, in every stage of suffering, and in every attitude of misery. Their cries and la- mentings mingled with the creaking of the bulk-heads and the jar- ring twang of the dirty lamp, whose irregular swing told plainly how oscillatory was our present motion. I turned from the unpleasant sight and was about again to address myself to slumber with what success I might, when I started at the sound of a voice in the very berth next to me whose tones, once heard, there was no forgetting. The words ran as nearly as I can recollect thus: " Oh, then, bad luck to ye for pigs, that ever brought me into the like of this. Oh, Lord, there it is again." And here a slight inter- ruption to eloquence took place, during which I was enabled to re- flect upon the author of the complaint, who, I need not say, was Mrs. Mulrooney. " I think a little tay would settle my stomach, if I only could get it; but what's the use of talking in this horrid place? They never mind me no more than if I was .a pig. Steward, steward oh, then, it's wishing you well I am for a steward. Steward, I say," and this she really did say, with an energy of voice and manner that startled more than one sleeper. " Oh, j^ou're coming at last, Stewart." " Ma'am, " said a little dapper and dirty personage, in a blue jacket, with a greasy napkin negligently thrown over one arm, "ex ojjkio," " Ma'am, did you call?" " Call, is it call? No, but I am roaring for you this half -hour. Come here. Have you any of the cordial dhrops agin the sickness? you know what I mean." " Is it brandy, ma'am?" " No, it isn't brandy." " We have got gin, ma'am, and bottled porter cider, ma'am, if you like." " Agh, no! sure I want the dhrops agin the sickness." " Don't know, indeed, ma'am." "Ah, you stupid creature! maybe you're not the real steward. What's your name?" " Smith, ma'am." " Ah, I thought so; go away, man, go away." This injunction, given in a diminuendo cadence, was quickly obeyed, and all was silence for a moment or two. Once more was I dropping asleep when the same voice as before burst out with: " Am I to die here like a haythen, and nobody to come near me? Steward, steward, steward Moore, I say." " Who calls me?' said a deep sonorous voice from the opposite side of the cabin, while at the same instant a tall green silk night-cap, surmounting a very aristocratic-looking forehead, appeared between the curtains of the opposite berth. HARRY LORREQUER. 71 " Steward Moore," said the lady again, with her eyes straining in the direction of the door by which she expected him to enter. "This is most strange," muttered the baronet, half aloud. " Why, madam, you are calling me!" " And if I am, said Mrs. Mulrooney, " and if ye heerd me, have ye no manners to answer your name, eh! Are ye steward Moore?" " Upon my soul, ma'am, I thought so last night when I came on board, but you really have contrived to make me doubt my own identity." " And is it there ye're lying, on the broad of yer back, and me as sick as a dog foment ye?" " I concede, ma'am, the fact; the position is a most irksome one on every account." " Then why don't ye come over to me?" and this Mrs. Mul- rooney said with a voice of something like tenderness wishing at all hazards to conciliate so important a functionary. " Why, really you are the most incomprehensible person I ever met." "I'm what?" said Mrs. Mulrooney; her blood rushing to her face and temples as she spoke for the same reason as her fair towns- woman is reported to have borne with stoical fortitude every harsh epithet of the language, until it occurred to her opponent to tell her that " the divil a bit better she was nor a pronoun;" so Mrs. Mul- rooney, taking " omne ignotum pro horribili," became perfectly be- side herself at the unlucky phrase. " I'm what? repate it av ye dare, and I'll tear yer eyes out! Ye dirty bla guard, to be lying there at yer ease under the blankets, grinning at me. What's your trade answer me that av it isn't to wait on the ladies, eh?" " Oh, the woman must be mad!" said Sir Stewart. " The divil a taste mad, my dear I'm only sick. Now just come over to me, like a decent creature, and give me the dhrop of comfort ye have. Come, avick ! ' ' " Go over to you?" " Ay, and why not? or if it's so lazy ye are, why then I'll thry and cross over to your side. ' ' These words being accompanied by a certain indication of change of residence on the part of Mrs. Mulrooney, Sir Stewart perceived there was no time to lose, and springing from his berth, he rushed half -dressed through the cabin, and up the companion-ladder, just as Mrs. Mulrooney had protruded a pair of enormous legs from her couch, and hung for a moment pendulous before she dropped upon the floor, and followed him to the deck. A tremendous shout of laughter from the sailors and the deck passengers prevented my hearing the dialogue which ensued; nor do I yet know how Mrs. Mulrooney learned her mistake. Certain it is, she no more appeared among the passengers in the cabin, and Sir Stewart's manner the fol- lowing morning at breakfast amply satisfied me that I had had my revenge. 72 HARRY LORREQUER. CHAPTER X. UPSET MIND AND BODY. No sooner in Liverpool, than I hastened to take my place in the earliest conveyance for London. At that time the Umpire Coach was the perfection of fast traveling; and seated behind the box, en-- veloped in a sufficiency of broadcloth, I turned my face toward town with as much anxiety and as ardent expectations as most of those about me. All went on in the regular monotonous routine of such matters until we reached Northampton, passing down the steep street of which town, the near wheel-horse stumbled and fell; the ecu.:!;, after a tremendous roll to one side, toppled over on the other, ai;d with a tremendous crash, and sudden shock, sent all the outside, myself among the number, flying through the air like sea-gul's. As for me, after describing a very respectable parabola, my angle of in- cidence landed me in a bonnet-maker's shop, having passed through a large plate-glass window, and destroyed more leghorns and dun- stables than a year's pay would recompense. I have but light recol- lection of the details: of that occasion until I found myself lying in a very spacious bed at the George Inn, having been bled in both arms, and discovering by the multitude of bandages in which I was envel- oped that at least some of my bones were broken by the fall. That such fate had befallen my collar-bone and three of my ribs I soon learned, and was horror-struck at hearing from the surgeon who at- tended me, that four or five weeks would be the very earliest period I could bear removal with safety. Here then at once was a large deduction from my six months' leave, not to think of the misery that awaited me for such a time, confined to my bed in an inn, with out books, friends or acquaintances. However even this could be remedied by patience, and summoning up ail I could command, I " bided my time," but not before I had completed a term of two months' imprisonment, and had become, from actual starvation, something very like a living transparency. No sooner, however, did I feel myself once more on the road, than my spirits rose, and I felt myself as full of high hope, and buoyant expectancy as ever. It was late at night when I arrived hi London. I drove to a quiet hotel in the west-end, and the following morning proceeded to Portman-square, bursting with impatience to see my friends the Callonbys and recount all my adventures for as I was too ill to write from Northampton, and did not wish to intrust a stranger the office of communicating with them, I judged that they must be exceedingly xmeasy on my account, and pictured to myself the thou- sand emotions my appearance so indicative of illness would give rise to ; and could scarcely avoid running in my impatience to be onca more among them. How Lady Jane would meet me, I thought of again and ag_ ain ; whether the same cautious reserve awaited me, or whether her family's approval would have wrought a change in her reception of me, 1 burned to ascertain. As my thoughts ran on in this way, I found myself at the door; but was much alarmed to HAKUV LOliKEQUEE. 73 perceive that the closed window-shutters and dismantled look of the house proclaimed them from home. I rang the bell, and soon learned from a servant, whose face I had not seen before, that the family had gone to Paris about a month before, with the intention of spending the winter there. I need not say how grievously this piece of intelligence disappointed me, and for a minute or two I could not collect my thoughts. At last the servant said : " If you have anything very particular, sir, that my lord's lawyer can do, I can give you his address." " No, thank you nothing;" at the same time I muttered to my- eelf, " I'll have some occupation for him though ere long. The family were all quite well, didn't you say?" " Yes, sir, perfectly well. My lord has only a slight cold." " Ah yes and their address is ' Meurice;' very well." So saying I turned from the door, and with slower steps than I had come, returned to my hotel. My immediate resolve was to set out for Paris; my second was to visit my uncle, Sir Guy Lorrequer, lirst, and having explained to him the nature of my position and the advantageous prospects before me, endeavor to induce him to make some settlements on Lady Jane, in the event of my obtaining her family's consent to our mar- riage. This, from his liking great people very much, and laying great stress upon the advantages of connection, I looked upon -AS a matter of no great difficulty; so that, although my hopes of happiness were delayed in their fulfillment, I believed they were only about to be the more securely realized. The same day I set out for Elton, and by ten o'clock at night I reached my uncle's house. I found the old gentleman looking just as I had left him three years before, com- plaining a little of gout in the left foot praising his old specific, port wine abusing his servants for robbing him and drinking the Duke of Wellington's health every night alter supper; which meal 1 had much pleasure in surprising him at on my arrival not having eaten. since my departure from London. "Well, Harry," said my uncle, when Ihe servants had left the room, and we drew over the spider-table to the fire to discuss our wine with comfort, " what good wind has blown you down to me, my boy? for it's odd enough, five minutes before I heard the wheels on the gravel I was just wishing some good fellow would join me at the grouse and you see I have had my wish ! The old story, I suppose, ' out of cash. ' Would not come down here for nothing eh? Come, lad, tell the truth; is it not so?" "Why, not exactly, sir; but I really had rather at present talk about you, than about my own matters, which we can chat over to- morrow. How do you get on, sir, with the Scotch steward?" " He's a rogue, sir a cheat a scoundrel; but it'is the same with them all; and your cousin, Harry your cousin, that I have reared from his infancy to be my heir (pleasant topic for me!) he cares no more for me than the rest of them, and would never come near me if it were not that, like .yourself, he was hard run for money and wanted to wheedle me out of a hundred or two." " But you forget, Kir I told you I have not come with such an object. " 74 HARRY LOkREQUEK. " "We'll see that we'll see that in the morning," replied he, with an incredulous shake of the head. " But Guy, sir what has Guy done?" " What has he not done? No sooner did he join that popinjay set of fellows, the th hussars, than he turned out what he calls a four-in hand drag, which dragged nine hundred pounds out of my pocket then he has got a yacht at Cowes a grouse mountain in Scotland and has actually given Tattersall an unlimited order to purchase the Wreckington pack of harriers, which he intends to keep for the use of the corps. In a word, there is not an amusement of that villainous regiment, not a flask of champagne drank at their mess, I don't bear my share in the cost of; all through the kind offices of your worthy cousin, Guy Lorrequer." This was an exceedingly pleasant expose for me, to hear of my cousin indulged in every excess of foolish extravagance by his rich uncle, while I, the son of an elder brother who unfortunately called me by his own name, Harry, remained the sub. in a marching regi- ment, with not three hundred pounds a year above my pay, and whom any extravagance, if such had been proved against me, would have deprived of even that small allowance. My uncle, however, did not notice the chagrin with which 1 heard his narrative, but continued to detail various instances of wild and reckless expense the future possessor of his ample property had already launched into. Anxious to say something without well knowing what, I hinted that probably my good cousin would reform some of these days and marry. " Marry," said my uncle; " yes, that I believe is the best thing we can do with him ; and I hope now the matter is in good train so the latest accounts say, at least." "Ah, indeed," said I, endeavoring to take an interest where I really felt none for my cousin and 1 had never been very intimate friends, and the difference in our fortunes had not, at least to my thinking, been compensated by any advances which he, under the circumstances, might have made to me. " Why, Harry, did you not hear of it?" said my uncle. " No not a word, sir." ' ' Very strange, indeed a great match, Harry a very great match, /ndeed." " Some rich banker's daughter," thought I. " What will he say when he hears of my fortune?" " A very fine young woman, too, I understand quite the belle of London and a splendid property left by an aunt." I was bursting to tell him of my affair, and that he had another nephew, to whom if common justice were rendered, his fortune was as certainly made for life. " Guy's business happened this way," continued my uncle, who was quite engrossed by the thought of his favorite's success. " The father of the young lady met him in Ireland, or Scotland, or some such place, where he was with his regmient was greatly struck with his manner and address found him out to be my nephew asked him to his house and, in fact, almost threw this lovely girl at his head before they were two months acquainted. " HARRY LORREQUER. 75 " As nearly as possible my own adventure," thought I, laughing to myself. " But you have not told me who they are, sir," said I, dying to have his story finished, and to begin mine. " I'm coming to that I'm coming to that. Guy came down here, but did not tell me one word of his having ever met the family, but begged of me to give him an introduction to them, as they were hi Paris, where he was going on a short leave; and the first thing I heard of the matter was a letter from the papa, demanding from me if Guy was to be my heir, and asking how fur his intentions in his family met with my approval." " Then how did you know, sir, that they were previously known to each other?" " The family lawyer told me who heard it all talked over." " And why, then, did Guy get the letter of introduction from you when he was already acquainted with them?" "'I am sure I cannot tell, except that you know he always does everything unlike any one else, and to be sure the letter seems to have excited some amusement. I must show you his answer to my first note to know how all was going on ; for I felt very anxious about matters, when I heard from some person who had met them, that Guy was everlastingly in the house, and that Lord Callonby could not live without him." " Lord who, sir?" said I, in a voice that made the old man upset his glass and spring from his chair in horror. " What the devil is the matter with the boy? What makes you so pale?" " Whose name did you say at that moment, sir?" said I, with a slowness of speech that cost me agony. " Lord Callonby, my old school-fellow and fag at Eton." " And the lady's name, sir?" said I, in scarcely an audible whisper. " I'm sure I forgot her name, but here's the letter from Guy, and I think he mentions her name in the postscript." I snatched rudely the half-opened letter from the old man, as he was vainly endeavoring to detect the place he wanted, and read as follows : "My adored Jane is all your fondest wishes for my happiness could picture, and longs to see her dear uncle, as she already calls you on every occasion. ' ' I read no more my eyes swam the paper, the candles, everything before me, was misty and confused ; and although I heard my uncle's voice still going on, I knew nothing of what he said. For some time my mind could not take in the full extent of the base treachery I had met with, and I sat speechless and stupefied. By de- grees my faculties became clearer, and with one glance I read the whole business, from my first meeting with them at Kilrush to the present moment. I saw that in their attentions to me, they thought they were winning the heir of Elton, the future proprietor of fifteen thousand per annum. From this tangled web of heartless intrigue, I turned my thoughts to Lady Jane herself. How had she betrayed me ! for certainly she had not only received, but encouraged my ad- dresses and so soon too. To think that at the very moment when my own precipitate haste to see her had involved me in a nearly fatal 76 HARRY LORREQUEB. accident, she was actually receiving the attentions of another! Oh, it was too, too bad. But enough even now I can scarcely dwell upon the memory of that moment, when the hopes and dreams of many a long day and night were destined to be thus rudely blighted. I seized the first opportunity of bidding my uncle good night; and having promised him to reveal all my plans on the morrow, hurried to my room. My plans! alas, I had none that one fatal paragraph had scattered them to the winds; and I threw myself upon my bed, wretched and almost heart-broken. I have once before in these " Confessions" claimed to myself the privilege not inconsistent with a full disclosure of the memorabilia of my life, to pass slightly over those passages, the burden of which was unhappy, and whose memory is still painful. I must now, therefore, claim the " benefit of this act," and beg the reader to let me pass from this sad portion of my history, and for the full expres- sion of my mingled rage, contempt, disappointment, and sorrow, let me beg of him to receive instead, what a learned pope once gave as his apology for not reading a rather polysyllabic word in a Latin letter " As for this," said he, looking at the phrase in question, " soit qui'l dit," so say I. And now en route. CHAPTER XI. CHELTENHAM MATRIMONIAL ADVENTURE SHOWING HOW TO MAKE LOVE FOR A FRIEND. IT was a cold raw evening in February as 1 sat in the coffee-room of the Old Plough in Cheltenham, Lvcuttus c. Lucullo no companion save my half -finished decanter of port. I had drawn my chair to the corner of the ample fire-place, and in a half dreamy state was review- ing the incidents of my early life, and like most men who, however young, have still to lament talents misapplied, opportunities neglected, profitless labor, and disastrous idleness. The dreary aspect of the large and ill- lighted room the close -curtained boxes the unsocial look of everything and body about suited the habit of my soul, and I was on the verge of becoming excessively sentimental the un- broken .silence, where several p eople were present, had also its effect upon rhe, and I felt oppressed and dejected. So sat I for an hour; the clock over the mantel ticked sharply on the old man in the brown surtout had turned in his chair, and now snored louder the gentleman who read the Times had got the Chromcle, and I thought I saw him nodding over the advertisements. The father who, with a raw son of about nineteen, had dined at six, sat still and motionless opposite his offspring, and only breaking the silence around by the grating of the decanter as he posted it across the table. The only thing denoting active existence, was a little shriv- eled man, who, with spectacles on his forehead, and hotel slippers on his feet, rapidly walked up and down, occasionally stopping at his table to sip a little weak-looking negus, which was his moderate potation for two hours. I have been particular in chronicling theso few and apparently trivial circumstances, for by what mere trifles are our greatest and most important movements induced had the HARRY LORREQUER. 77 near wheeler of the Umpire been only safe on his fore legs, and while I write this I might but let me continue. The gloom and melancholy which beset me momentarily increased. But three months before, and my prospects presented eveiything that was fairest and brightest now all the future was dark and dismal. Then my best friends could scarcely avoid envy at my fortune now my reverses might almost excite compassion even in an enemy. It was singular enough, and I should not like to acknowledge it, were not these Confessions in their very nature intended to disclose the very penetralia of my heart ; but singular it certainly was and so I have always felt it since, when reflecting on it that although much and warmly attached to Lady Jane Callonby, and feeling most acutely what I must call her abandonment of me, yet, the most constantly recurring idea of my mind on the subject was, what will the mess say what will they think at headquarters ! the raillery, the jesting, the half-concealed allusion, the tone of assumed compassion, which all awaited me, as each of my comrades took Tip his line of behavior toward me, was, after all, the most difficult thing to be borne, and I absolutely dreaded to join my regiment, more thoroughly than did ever schoolboy to return to his labor on the expiration of his holi- daj'S. I had framed to myself all manner of ways of avoiding this dread event ; sometimes I meditated an exchange into an African corps sometimes to leave the army altogether. However I turned the affair over in my mind innumerable difficulties presented themselves, and I was at last reduced to that stand- still point, in which, after continual vacillation, one only waits for the slightest impulse of persuasion from another, to adopt any, no matter what, suggestion. In this enviable frame of mind I sat sip- ping wine, and watching the clock for that hour at which, with a safe conscience, I might retire to my bed, when the waiter roused me by demanding if my name was Mr. LoiTequer, for that a gentle- man having seen my card in the bar, had been making inquiry for the owner of it all through the hotel. " Yes," said I, " such is my name; but I am not acquainted with any one here, that I can remember." " The gentleman has only arrived an hour since by the London mail, sir, and here he is." At this moment, a tall, dashing-looking, half -swaggering fellow, in a very sufficient envelope of box-coats, entered the coffee-room, and unwinding a shawl from his throat, showed me the honest and manly countenance of my friend Jack Waller, of the th dragoons, with whom I had served in the Peninsula. Five minutes sufficed for Jack to tell me that he was come down on a bold speculation at this unseasonable time for Cheltenham; that he was quite sure his fortune was about to be made, in a few weeks at furthest, and what seemed nearly as engrossing a topic that he was perfectly famished, and desired a hot supper, " de suite." Jack having dispatched this agreeable meal with a traveler's appe- tite, proceeded to unfold his plans to me as follows: There resided somewhere near Cheltenham, in what direction he did not absolutely know, an old East India colonel, who had re- turned from a long career of successful staff-duties and government contracts, with the moderate fortune of two hundred thousand. H 78 HARRY LORREQUER. possessed, in addition, a son and a daughter; the f owner being s. rake and a gambler, he had long since consigned to his own de- vices, and to the latter he had avowed his intention of leaving all his wealth. That she was beautiful as an angel highly accom- plished gifted agreeable and all that, Jack, who had never seen her, was firmly convinced; that she was also bent resolutely on marrying him, or any other gentleman whose claims were princi- pally the want of money, he was quite ready to swear to; and, in fact, so assured did he feel that " the whole affair was feasible " (I use his own expression), that he had managed a two mouths' leave, and was come down express to see, make love to, and carry her off at once. " But," said I, with difficulty interrupting him, " how long have you known her father?" " Know him? I never saw him." " Well, that certainly is cool: and how do you propose making his acquaintance. Do you intend to make him a particeps criminis in the elopement of his own daughter for a consideration to be here- after paid out of his own money?" " Now, Harry, you've touched upon the .point in which, you must confess, my genius always stood unrivaled acknowledge, if you are not dead to gratitude-^-acknowledge how often should you have gone supperless to bed in our bivouacs in the Peninsula, had it not been for the ingenuity of your humble servant avow, that if mutton was to be had, and beef to be purloined, within a circuit of twenty miles round, our mess certainly kept no fast days. I need not remind you of the cold morning on the retreat from Burgos, when the inexorable Lake brought five men to the halberds for stealing turkeys, that at the same moment I was engaged in devising an ox- tail soup from a heifer brought to our tent in jack boots the evening before, to escape detection by her foot tracks." " True, Jack, I never questioned your Spartan talent; but this affair, time considered, does appear rather difficult." " And if it were not, should I have ever engaged in it? No, no, Harry. I put all proper value upon the pretty girl, with her two hundred thousand pounds pin-money. But I honestly own to you the intrigue, the scheme, has as great a charm for me as any part of the transaction." " Well, Jack, now for the plan!" " The plan! oh, the plan. Why, I have several; but since I have seen you, and talked the matter over with you, I have begun to think of a new mode of opening the trenches." " Why, I don't see how I can possibly have admitted a single new ray of light upon the affair." " There you are quite wrong. Just hear me out without interrup- tion and I'll explain. I'll first discover the locale of this worthy colonel 'Hydrabad Cottage' he calls it; good, eh! then I shall proceed to make a tour of the immediate vicinity, and either be taken dangerously ill in his grounds, within ten yards of the hall door, or be thrown from my gig at the gate of his avenue, and fracture my skull; I don't care much which. Well, then, as I learn that the old gentleman is the most kind, hospitable fellow in the world, he'll admit me *t once; his daughter will tend my sick couch nurse HARBT LORREQUER. 79 read to me. glorious fun, Harry. I'll make fierce love to her; and now, the only point to be decided is whether, having partaken of the colonel's hospitality so freely, 1 ought to carry her off, or marry her with papa's consent. You see there is much to be said for either line of proceeding." " I certainly agree with you there; but since you seem to see your way so clearly up to that point, why, I should advise you leaving that an ' open question,' as the ministers say, when they are hard pressed for an opinion." " Well, Harry, I consent; it shall remain so. Now for your part, for I have not come to that." "Mine!" said I in amazement; " why how can I possibly have any character assigned me in the drama?" " I'll tell you, Harry, you shall come with me in the gig in the capacity of my valet." " Your what?" said I, horror-struck at his impudence. " Come, no nonsense, Harry, you'll have a glorious time of it shall choose as becoming a livery as you like and you'll have the whole female world below stairs dying for you: and all I ask for such an opportunity vouchsafed to you is to puff me, your master, in every possible shape and form, and represent me as the most lib- eral fellow in the world, rolling in wealth, and only striving to get rid of it." The unparalleled effrontery of Master Jack in assigning to me such an office, absolutely left me unable to reply to him ; while he continued to expatiate upon the great field of exertion thus open to us both. At last it occurred to me to benefit by an anecdote of a. something similar arrangement of capturing, not a young lady, but a fortified town, by retorting Jack's proposition. " Come," said I, " I agree with only one difference I'll be the master, and you the man on this occasion." To my utter confusion, and without a second's consideration. Waller grasped my hand, and cried, " done." Of course I laughed heartily at the utter absurdity of the whole scheme, and rallied my friend on his prospects for Botany Bay for such an exploit, never contemplating in the most remote degree the commission of such ex- travagance. Upon this Jack, to use the expressive French phrase, " pris la parole," touching with a master-like delicacy on my late defeat among the Callonbys (which up to this instant I believed him in ig- norance of); he expatiated upon the prospect of my repairing that misfortune, and obtaining a fortune considerably larger; he cau- tiously abstainedfrom mentioning the personal charms of the young lady, supposing from my lachrymose look that my heart had not yet recovered the shock of Lady Jane's perfidy, and rather preferred to dwell upon the escape such a marriage could open to me from the mockery of the mess-table, the jesting of my brother officers, and the life long raillery of the service, wherever the story reached. The fatal facility of my disposition so often and so frankly chron- icled in these Confessions the openness to be led whither any one might take the trouble to condiict me the easy indifference to as- sume any character which might be pressed upon me, by chance, accident or design, assisted by my share of three flasks of cham- 80 HARRY LORREQUER. pagne, induced me first to listen then to attend to soon after to suggest and finally, absolutely to concur in and agree to a proposal which, at any other moment, I must have regarded as downright in- sanity. As the clock struck two, I had just affixed my name to an agreement, for Jack Waller had so much of method in his madness that, fearful of my retracting in the morning, he had committed the whole to writing, which, as a specimen of Jack's legal talents, I copy from the original document now hi my possession. " The Plough, Cheltenham, Tuesday night or morning, two o'clock be the same more or less. I, Harry Lorrequer, sub. in his majesty's th regiment of foot, on the one part; and I, John Wal- ler, commonly called Jack Waller, of the th light dragoons on the other; hereby promise and agree, each for himself, and not one for the other, to the following conditions, which are hereafter subjoined, to wit, the aforesaid Jack Waller is to serve, obey, and humbly fol- low the afore-mentioned Harry Lorrequer, for the space of one month of four weeks, conducting himself in all respects, modes, ways, manners, as his, the aforesaid Lorrequer's own man, skip, valet, or saucepan duly praising, puffing, and lauding the aforesaid Lorrequer, and in every way facilitating his success to the hand and fortune of " " Shall we put in her name, Harry, here?" said Jack. " I think not; we'll fill it up in pencil; that looks very knowing." " at the end of which period, if successful in his suit, the afore- said Harry Lorrequer is to render to the aforesaid Waller, the sum of ten thousand pounds three and a half per cent, with a faithful discharge in writing for his services as may be. If, on the other hand, and which heaven forbid, the aforesaid Lorrequer fail in ob- taining the hand of , that he will evacuate the territory within twelve hours, and repairing to a convenient spot selected, by the aforesaid Waller, then and there duly invest himself with a livery chosen by the aforesaid Waller " " You know, each man uses his choice in this particular," said Jack. " and for the space of four calendar weeks, be unto the aforesaid Waller, as his skip, or valet, receiving, in the event of success, the alike compensation as aforesaid, each promising strictly to maintain the terms of this agreement, and binding, by a solemn pledge, to divest himself of every right appertaining to his former condition, for the space of time there mentioned." We signed and sealed it foimally, and finished another flask to its perfect ratification. This done, and after a hearty shake hands, we parted and retired for the night. The first thing I saw on waking the following morning was Jack Waller standing beside my bed, evidently in excellent spirits with himself and all the world. " Harry, my boy, 1 have dene it gloriously," said he. " I only re- membered on parting with you last night, that one of the most marked features in our old colonel's character is a certain vague idea, he has somewhere picked up, that he has been at some very remote period of his history a most distinguished officer. This notion, it appears, haunts his mind, and he absolutely believea he has been in HARRY LORREQUER. 81 every egagement, from the seven years war, down to the Battle of Waterloo. You cannot mention a siege he did not lay down the first parallel for, nor a storming party where he did not lead the forlorn hope; and there is not a regiment in the service, from those that formed the fighting brigade of Picton, down to the London tram- bands, with which, to use his own phrase, he has not fought and bled. This mania of heroism is droll enough, when one consider* that the sphere of his action was necessarily so limited; but yet we have every reason to be thankful for the peculiarity, as you'll say, when I inform you that this morning I dispatched a hasty messenger to his villa, with a most polite note, setting forth that as Mr. Lorre- quer ay, Harry, all above board there is nothing like it ' as Mr. Lorrequer, of the th, was collecting for publication, such materials as might serve to commemorate the distinguished achievements of British officers, who have, at any time, been in command he most respectfully requests an interview with Colonel Kamworth, whose distinguished services, on many gallant occasions, have called forth the unqualified approval of his majesty's government. Mr. Lorre- quer's stay is necessarily limited to a few days, as he proceeds from this to visit Lord Anglesey; and therefore, would humbly suggest as early a meeting as may suit Colonel K. 's convenience. ' "What think you now? Is this a master-stroke or not?" " Why, certainly, we are in for it now," said I, drawing a deep sigh. " But Jack, what is all this? Why, you're in livery already!" I now, for the first time, perceived that Waller was arrayed in a very- decorous suit of dark gray, with cord shorts and boots, and looked a very knowing style of servant for the side of a tilbury. " You like it, do you? Well, I should have preferred something a little more showy myself; but as you chose this last night, I, of course, gave way, and after all, I believe you're right; it certainly is neat." " Did I choose it last night? I have not the slightest recollection of it." " Yes, you were most particular about the length of the waistcoat, and the height of the cockade, and you see I have followed your orders tolerably close; and now, adieu to sweet equality for the sea- son, and I am your most obedient servant for four weeks see that you make the most of it." While we were talking, the waiter entered with a note addressed to me, which I rightly conjectured could only come from Colonel Kamworth. It ran thus : " Colonel Kamworth feels highly flattered by the polite attention of Mr. Lorrequer, and will esteem it a particular favor, if Mr. L. can. afford him the few days his stay in this part of the country will per- mit, by spending them at Hydrabad Cottage. Any information as to Colonel Kamworth 's services in the four quarters of the globe, he need not say, is entirely at Mr. L. 's disposal. " Colonel K. dines at six precisely." When Waller had read the note through, he tossed his hat up in the air, and with something little short of an Indian whoop, shouted out: 82 HARRY LORREQtJEB. " The game is won already. Harry, my man, give me the check for the ten thousand: she is your own this minute." Without participating entirely in Waller's exceeding delight, I could not help feeling a growing interest in the part I was advertised to perform, and began my rehearsal with more spirit than I thought I should have been able to command. That same evening, at the same hour as that in which on the pre- ceding I sat lone and comfortless by the coffee-room fire, I was seated opposite a very pompous, respectable-looking old man, with a large stiff queue of white hah-, who pressed me repeatedly to fill my glass and pass the decanter. The room was a small library, with hand- somely fitted shelves ; there were but four chairs, but each would have made at least three of any modern one ; the curtains of deep crimson cloth effectually secured the room from draught; and the cheerful wood fire blazing on the hearth, which was the only light in the apartment, gave a most inviting look of comfort and snugness to everything. This, thought 1, is excellent," and however the advent- ure ends, this is certainly pleasant, and I never tasted better Ma- deira. " And so, Mr. Lorrequer, you heard of my affair at Cantantrabad, when I took the Rajah prisoner!" " Yes," said I; " the governor-general mentioned the gallant busi- ness the very last time I dined at Government- House. " " Ah, did he? kind of him, though. Well, sir, I received two millions of rupees on the morning after, and a promise of ten more if I would permit him to escape but no I refused flatly." " Is it possible? and what did you do with the two millions? sent them, of course " " No; that I didn't; the wretches know nothing of the use of money. No, no; I have them this moment in good government se- curity. " I believe I never mentioned to you the storming of Java. Fill yourself another glass, and I'll describe it all to you, for it will be of infinite consequence that a true narrative of this meets the public eye they really are quite ignorant of it. Here now is Fort Corne- lius, and there is the moat, the sugar basin is the citadel, and the tongs is the first trench, the decanter will represent the tall tower toward the sou'-west angle, and here, the wine glass this is me. Well, it was a little after ten at night that 1 got the order from the general in command to march upon this plate of figs, which was an open space before Fort Cornelius, and to take up my position in front of the Fort, and with four pieces of field artillery these walnuts here to be ready to open fire at a moment's warning upon the sou'- west tower; but my dear sir, you have moved the tower; I thought you were drinking Madeira. As I said before, to open my fire upon the sou'-west tower, or if necessary protect the sugar tongs, which I explained to you was the trench. Just at the same time the besieged were making preparations for a sortie to occupy this dish of almonds and raisins the high ground to the left of my position put another leg on the fire, if you please, sir, for I cannot see myself 1 thought I was up near the figs, and I find myself down near the half-moon." " It i past nine," said a servant, entering the room; " shall I tnkw HARRY LORREQUER. 83 the carriage for Miss Kam worth, sir?" This being the first time the name of the young \-M\y was mentioned since my arrival, I felt some- what anxious to hear more of her, in which laudable desire I was not however to be gratified, for the colonel, feeling considerably an- noyed by the interruption, dismissed the servant by saying: " What do you mean, sirrah, by coming in at this moment; don't you see I am preparing for the attack on the half -moon? Mr. Lor- requer, I beg your pardon for one moment; this fellow has com- pletely put me out; and besides, I perceive, you have eat en the flying artillery, and in fact, my dear sir, I shall be obliged to lay down the position again." With this praiseworthy interest the colonel proceeded to arrange the " materiel" of our dessert in battle array, when the door was sud- denly thrown open, and a very handsome girl, in a most becoming demt toilette, sprung into the room, and either not noticing or not caring that a stranger was present, threw herself into the old gentle- man's arms, with a degree of emprcssement exceedingly vexatious for any third and unoccupied party to witness. "Mary, my dear," said the colonel, completely forgetting Java and Fort Cornelius at once, " you don't perceive I have a gentleman to introduce to you; Mr. Lorrequer, my daughter, MissKamworth;" here the young lady courtesied somewhat stiffly, and I bowed rever- ently ; and we all resumed places. I now found out that Miss Kam- worth had been spending the preceding four or five days at a friend's in the neighborhood, and had preferred coming home somewhat un- expectedly to waiting for her own carriage. My Confessions, if recorded verbatim, from the notes of that four weeks' sojourn, would only increase the already too prolix and un- interesting details of this chapter in my life ; I need only say that without falling hi love with Mary Kamworth, I felt prodigiously disposed thereto; she was extremely pretty; had a foot and ankle to swear by, the most silvery toned voice I almost ever heard, and a certain witchery and archness of manner that by its very tantalizing uncertainty continually provoked attention, and by suggesting a difficulty in the road to success, imparted a more than common zest in the pursuit. She was a little, a very little blue, rather a dabbler in the " ologies," than a real disciple. Yet she made collections of minerals, and brown beetles, and cryptogamias, and various other homeopathic doses of the creation, infinitesimally small in their sub- division ; in none of which I felt any interest, save in the excuse they gave for accompanying her in her pony-phaeton. This was, how- ever, a rare pleasure, for every morning for at least three or four hours I was obliged to sit opposite the colonel, engaged in the compila- tion of that narrative of his res genta, which was to eclipse the career of Napoleon and leave Wellington's laurels but a very faded luster in comparison. In this agreeable occupation did I pass the greater part of my day, listening to the insufferable prolixity of the most prolix of colonels, and at times, notwithstanding the propinquity of relationship which awaited us, almost regretting that he was not blown up in any of the numerous explosions his memoir abounded with. I may here mention, that while my literary labor was thus progressing, the young lady continued her avocations as before not 84 HARRY LORREQUEB. indeed with me for her companion but Waller; foi Colonel Kam worth, "having remarked the steadiness and propriety of my man, felt no scruple in sending him out to drive Miss Kamworth," partic- ularly as I gave him a most excellent character for every virtue un der Heaven. 1 must hasten on : The last evening of my four weeks was draw- ing to a close. Colonel Kamworth had pressed me to prolong my visit, and 1 only waited for Waller's return from Cheltenham, whither 1 had sent him for my letters, to make arrangements with him to absolve me from my ridiculous bond, and accept the invita- tion. We were sitting round the libraiy fire, the colonel, as usual, narrating his early deeds and hair-breadth 'scapes; Mary, embroider- ing an indescribable something , which every evening made its ap- pearance, but seemed never to advance, was rather in better spirits than usual, at the same time her manner was nervous and and un- certain ; and I could perceive by her frequent absence of mind, that her thoughts were not so much occupied by the siege of Java as her worthy father believed them. Without laying any stress upon the circumstance, I must yet avow that Waller's not having returned from Cheltenham gave me some uneasiness, and I more than once had recourse to the bell to demand if " my servant had come back yet?" At each of these tunes 1 well remember the peculiar expres- sion of Mary's look, the half embarrassment, half drollery, with which she listened to the question, and heard the answer in the neg- ative. Supper at length made its appearance; and I asked the serv- ant who waited, ' if my man had brought me any letters," varying my inquiry to conceal my anxiety;, and again 1 heard he had not returned. Resolving now to propose in all form for Miss Kamworlli the next morning, and by referring the colonel to my uncle Sir Guy, smooth, as far as I could, all difficulties, 1 wished them good-niivht and retired; not, however, before the colonel had warned me that they were to have an excursion to some place in the neighborhood the next day; and begging that I might be in the breakfast-room at nine, as they were to assemble there from all parts, and start early on the expedition. I was in a sound sleep the following morning, when a gentle tap at the door awoke me ; at the same time I recog- nized the voice of the colonel s servant, saying, " Mr. Lorrequer, breakfast is waiting, sir." I sprung up at once, and replying, " Very well, 1 shall come down," proceeded to dress in all haste, but to my horror, I could not discern a vestige of my clothes ; nothing remained of the habili- ments 1 possessed only the day before even my portmanteau had disappeared. After a most diligent search, 1 discovered, on a chair in the corner of the room, a small bundle tied up in a handkerchief, on opening which T perceived a new suit of livery of the most gaudy and showy description; the vest and breeches of yellow plush, with light blue binding and lace; of which color was also the coat, which had a standing collar and huge cuffs, deeply ornamented with worked button holes and large buttons. As I turned the things over, wish- out even a guess of what they could mean, for 1 was scarcely well awake, 1 perceived a small slip of paper fastened to the coat sleeve, upon which, in Waller's handwriting, the following words were written: HARRY LORREQUER. 85 ' The livery 1 hope will fit you, as I am rather particular about how you'll look; get quietly down the stable-yard, and drive the tilbury into Cheltenham, where wait for further orders from your kind master. " JOHH WALLEB." The horrible villainy of this wild scamp actually paralyzed me. That 1 should 1 put on such ridiculous trumpery was out of the ques- tion; yet what was to be done? I rang the bell violently; " Where are my clothes, Thomas?" " Don't know, sir; 1 was out all the morning, sir, and never seed them." " There, Thomas, be smart now, and send them up, will you?" Thomas disappeared, and speedily returned to say, " that my clothes could not be found anywhere; no one knew anything of them, and begged me to come down, as Miss Kamworth desired him to say that they were still waiting, and she begged Mr. Lorrequer would not make an elaborate toilet, as they were going on a country excursion." An elaborate toilet! 1 wish to heaven she saw my costume; no, I'll never do it. "Thomas, you must tell the ladies, and the col- onel, too, that 1 feel very ill; 1 am not able to leave my bed; 1 am subject to attacks very violent attacks in my head, and must always be left quiet and alone perfectly alone mind me, Thomas for a day at least." Thomas departed; and as I lay distracted in my bed, I heard, from the breakfast room, the loud laughter of many persons evidently enjoying some excellent joke; could it be me they were laughing at ; the thought was horrible. " Colonel Kamworth wishes to know if you'd like the doctor, sir," said Thomas, evidently suppressing a most inveterate fit of laughing, as he again appeared at the door. "No, certainly not," said I, in a voice of thunder; "what the devil are you grinning at?" " You may as well come, my man; you're found out: they ail know it now," said the fellow with an odious grin. I jumped out of the bed, and hurled the boot- jack at him with all my strength ; but had only the satisfaction to hear him go down stairs chuckling at his escape; and as he reached the parlor, the in- crease of mirth and the loudness of the laughter told me that he was not the only one who was merry at my expense. Anything was pref- erable to this; down stairs I resolved to go at once but how; a blanket, I thought, would not be a bad thing, and particularly as I had said I was ill; I could at least get as far as Colonel Kamworth 's dressing-room, and explain to him the whole affair; but then if I was detected en route , which I was almost sure to be, with so many peo- ple parading about the house! No; that would never do; there was but one alternative, and dreadful, shocking as it was, I could not avoid it, and with a heavy heart, and as much indignation at Waller for what I could not but consider a most scurvy trick, I donned the yellow inexpressibles ; next came the vest, and last the coat, with ita broad flaps and lace excrescences, fifty times more absurd and merry, andrew than a 113' stage servant who makes off with his table and two chairs amid the hisses and gibes of an upper gallery. If my costume leaned toward the ridiculous, I resolved that my air 86 HARRY LORREQUER. and bearing shouM be more than usually austere and haughty, and with something of the stride of John Kemble in Coriolanus, I wao leaving my bedroom, when I accidentally caught a view of myself in the glass; and so mortified, so shocked was I, that I sank into a chair, and almost abandoned my resolution to go on ; the very gesture I had assumed for my vindication only increased the ridicule of my appearance; and the strange quaintness of the costume totally oblit- erated every trace of any characteristic of the wearer, so infernally- cunning was its contrivance. I don't think that the most saturnine martyr of gout and dyspepsia could survey me without laughing. With a bold effort I flung open my door, hurried down the stairs, and reached the hall. The first person I met was a kind of pantry boy, a beast only lately emancipated from the plow, and destined after' a dozen years' training as a servant again to be turned back to his old employ, for incapacity; he grinned horribly for a minute, as I passedj and then in a half whisper said : " Maester, I advise ye run for it; they're awaiting for ye with the constables in the justice's room." I gave him a look of contemptu- ous superiority at which he grinned the more, and passed on. Without stopping to consider where I was going, I opened the door of the break! ast-parlor, and found myself in one plunge among a room full of people. My first impulse was to retreat again ; but so shocked was I at the very first thing that met my sight, that I was perfectly powerless 'to do anything. Among a considerable number of people who stood in small groups round the breakfast-table, I dis- cerned Jack Waller, habited in a very accurate black frock and dark trousers, supporting upon his arm shall I confess? no less a person than Mary Kamworth, who leaned on him with the familiarity of an old acquaintance, and chatted gayly with him. The buzz of conversation which filled the apartment when I entered ceased for a second of deep silence ; and then followed a peal of laughter so long and vociferous, that in my momentary anger I prayed some one might burst a blood-vessel, and frighten the rest. I put on a look of indescribable indigation, and cast a glance of what I intended should be most withering scorn on the assembly; but alas! my infernal harlequin costume ruined the effect; and confound me, if they did not laugh the louder. I turned from one to the other with the air of a man who marks out victims for his future wrath; but with no better success ; at last, amid the continued mirth of the party, I made my way to ward where Waller stood absolutely suffocated with laugh- ter, and scarcely able to stand without support. " Waller," said I, in a voice half tremulous with rage and shame together; " Waller, if this rascally trick be yours, rest assured no former term of intimacy between us shall " Before I could conclude my sentence, a bustle at the door of the room called every attention in that direction ; I turned and beheld Colonel Kamworth, followed by a strong posse comitatus of con- stables, tipstaffs, etc., armed to the teeth, and evidently prepared for vigorous battle. Before I was aole to point out my woes to my kind host, he burst out with : " So, you scoundrel, you impostor, you damned young villain, pretendinjr to be a gentleman, you get admission into a man's house and dine ac his table, when your proper place had been behind his HARRY LORREQUER. 87 chair. How far he might have gone, heaven can tell, if that excel- lent young gentleman, his master, had not traced him here this morn- ing but you'll pay dearly for it, you young rascal, that vou shall." " Colonel Kamworth," said I, drawing myself proudly up (and I confess exciting new bursts of laughter), " Colonel Kamworth, for the expressions you have just applied to me, a heavy reckoning awaits you; not, however, before another individual now present shall atone for the insult he has dared to pass upon me." Colonel Kamworth 's passion at this declaration knew no bounds; he cursed and swore absolutely like a madman, and vowed that transportation for life would be a mild sentence for such iniquity. Waller, at length wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, inter- posed between the colonel and his victim, and begged that I might be forgiven; " for, indeed, my dear sir," said he, " the poor fellow is of rather respectable parentage, and such is his taste for good society that he'd run any risk to be among his betters, although, as in the present case, the exposure brings a rather heavy retribution; how- ever, let me deal with him. Come, Henry," said he, with an air of insufferable superiority, "take my tilbury into town, and wait for Hie at the George. I shall endeavor to make your peace with my excellent friend, Colonel Kamworth, and the best mode you can con- tribute to that object, is to let us have no more of your society." I cannot attempt to picture my rage at these words ; however, escape from this- diabolical predicament was my only present object; and I rushed from the room, and springing into the tilbury at the door drove down the avenue at the rate of fifteen miles per hour, amid the united cheers, groans, and yells of the whole servants' hall, who seemed to enjoy my " detection," more even than their betters. Meditating vengeance, sharp, short, and decisive, on Waller, the colonel, and every one else in the infernal conspiracy against me, for I utterly forgot every vestige of our agreement in the surprise by which I was taken, I reached Cheltenham. Unfortunately I had no friend there to whose management I could commit the bearing of a message, and was obliged, as soon as I could procure suitable cos- tume, to hasten up to Coventry where the th dragoons were then quartered. I lost no time in selecting an adviser, and taking the necessary steps to bring Master Waller to a reckoning, and on the third morning we again reached Cheltenham, I thirsting for venge- ance, and bursting still with anger; not so, my friend, however, who never could discuss the affair with common gravity, and even vent- ured every now and then on a sly allusion to my yellow shorts. Aa we passed the last tollbar, a traveling carriage came whirling by with four horses at a tremendous pace; and as the morning was frosty, and the sun scarcely risen, the whole team was smoking and steaming, so as to be halt invisible. We both remarked on the precipitancy of the party ; for as our own pace was considerable, the two vehicles passed like lightning. We had scarcely dressed, and ordered break- fast, when a more than usual bustle in the yard called us to the win- dow ; the waiter who came in at the same instant told us that four horses were ordered out to pursue a young lady who had eloped that morning with an officer. "Ah, our friend in the green traveling chariot, I'll be bound," gajd my companion; but as neither of us knew that part of the coun- 88 HARRY LORREQUER. try; and I was too engrossed by my own thoughts, I never in- quired further. As the chaise in chase drove round to the door, I looked to set! what the pursuer was like; and as he issued from the inn, recognized my ci-devant host, Colonel Kamworth. I need not say that my vengeance was sated at once; he had lost his daughter, and Waller was on the road to be married. Apologies and explana- tions came in due time, for all my injuries and sufferings ; and I con- fess, the part which pleased me most was, that I saw no more of Jack for a considerable period after; he started for the Continent, where he has lived ever since on a small allowance, granted by his father- in-law, and never paying me the stipulated sum, as I had clearly broken the compact. So much for my second attempt at matrimony; one -would suppose that such experience should be deemed suflicient to show that iny talent did not lie in that way. And here I must rest for the present, with the additional confession, that so strong was the memory of that vile adventure, that 1 refused a lucrative appointment under Lord Anglesey's government, when I discovered that his livery in- cluded " yellow plush breeches:" to have such " souvenirs " flitting around and about me, at dinner and elsewhere, would have left md without a pleasure in existence. CHAPTER XII. DUBLIN TOM O 'FLAHERTY A REMINISCENCE OF THE PENINSTT- LAB. . DEAR, dirty Dublin " lo te salute "how many excellent things may be said of thee, if unfortunately, it did not happen that the theme is an old one, and has been much better sung than it can ev.er now be said. With thus much of apology for no more lengthened panegyric, let me beg of my reader, if he be conversant with that most moving melody the Groves of Blarney to hum the following lines, which I heard shortly after my landing, and which will express my own feelings for the " loved spot:" " O ! Dublin sure there is no doubtin' Beats every city upon the say, 'Tis there you'll see O'Connell spouting, And the Lady Morgan making ' fay.' For 'tis the capital of the greatest nation, With finest peasantry on a fruitful sod, Fighting like devils for conciliation, And hating each other for the love of God." Once more, then, I found myself in " the most car-drivingest city, " tn ri>te to join on the expiration of my leave. Since my departure, iny regiment had been ordered to Kilkenny, that sweet city, so famed in songs for its ' fire without smoke;" but which, were its character in :uiy way to be derived from its past or present representative, might cor!;.; nly, with more propriety, reverse the epithet, and read " smoke without fire." My last communication from head-quarters was full of nothing but gay doings balls, dinners, dejeunes, and more than all, private theatricals, seemed to occupy the entire attention of every wan of the gallant th,. I was earnestly entreated to come, without HARRY LORREQUER. 89 waiting for the end of my leave that several of my old " parti kept open for me;" and that, in fact, the " boys of Kilkenny " were on tip-toe expectation of my arrival, as though his majesty's mail were to convey a Kean or a Kemble. I shuddered a little as I read this, and recollected ' ' my last appearance on any stage, ' ' little antici- pating, at the moment, that my next was to be nearly as productive of the ludicrous, as tune and my confessions will show. One cir- cumstance, however, gave me considerable pleasure. It was this: I took it for granted, that in the varied and agreeable occupations which so pleasurable a career opened, my adventures in love would escape notice, and that I should avoid the merciless raillery my two failures, in six months, might reasonably be supposed to call forth. I therefore wrote a hurried note to Curzon, setting forth the great interest all their proceedings had for me, and assuring him that my stay in town should be as short as possible, for that 1 longed once more to "strut the monarch of the boards," and concluded with a sly paragraph, artfully intended to act as a " paratonnere " to the gibes and jests which I dreaded, by endeavoring to make light of my matrimonial speculations. The postscript ran somewhat thus " Glorious fun have I had since we met; but were it not that my good angel stood by me, I should write these hurried lines with a wife at my elbow ; but luck, that never yet deserted, is still faithful to your old friend, H. Lorrequer." My reader may suppose for he is sufficiently behind the scenes with me with what feelings I penned these words ; yet anything was better than the attack I looked forward to : and I should rather have changed into the Cape Rifle Corps, or any other army of martyrs, than meet my mess with all the ridicule my late proceedings exposed me to. Having disburdened my conscience of this dread, I finished my breakfast, and set out on a stroll through the town. I believe it is Coleridge who somewhere says, that to transmit the first bright and early impressions of our youth, fresh and uninjured, to a remote period of life, constitutes one of the loftiest prerogatives of genius. If this be true and I am not disposed to dispute it what a gifted people must be the worthy inhabitants of Dublin; for I scruple not to affirm, that of all cities of which we have any record in history, sacred or profane, tiiere is not one so little likely to disturb the tranquil current of such reminiscences. "As it was of old, so it is now," enjoying a delightful permanency in all its habits and customs, which no changes elsewhere disturb or affect; and in this respect I defy O'Connell and all the tail to refuse it the epithei of " Conservative." Had the excellent Rip Van Winkle, instead of seeking his repose upon the cold and barren acclivities of the Catskills as we are veri- tably informed by Irving but betaken himself to the comfortable bed "at Morrison's or the Bilton, not only would he have enjoyed a more agreeable siesta, but, what the event showed of more conse- quence, the pleasing satisfaction of not being disconcerted by novelty on his awakening. It is possible that the waiter who brought him the water to shave for Rip's beard, we are told, had grown uncom- monly long might exhibit a little of that wear and tear to which. humanity is liable from time; but had he questioned him as to the ruling topics the popular amusements of the day be would have 90 HAllllY LOliltEQUER. heard, as he might have clone twenty years before, that there was a meeting to convert Jrws at the Rotunda; another to rob parsons at the Corn Exchange; that the viceroy was dining, with the corpora- tion, and congratulating them on the prosperity of Ireland, while the inhabitants were regaled with a procession of the " broad ribbon weavers," who had not weaved, heaven knows when! This, with an occasional letter from Mr. O' Council, and now and then a duel in the " Phayuix," constituted the current pastimes of the city. Such at least were they in my day; and though far from the dear locale, an odd flitting glance at the newspapers induces me to believe that matters are not much changed since. I rambled through the streets for some hours, revolving such thoughts as were pressed upon me involuntarily by all I saw. The same little gray hpmunculus that filled my " prince's mixture " years before, stood behind the counter at Lundy Foot's weighing out rappee and high toast, just as I last saw him. The fat college porter, that I used to mistake in my school-days for the Provost, God forgive me! was there as fat and as ruddy as heretofore, and wore his Roman costume of helmet and plush breeches, with an ah- as classic. The old state trumpeter at the castle, another object of my youthful ven- eration, poor "old God save the king," as we used to call him, walked the streets as of old ; his cheeks, indeed, a little more lank and tendonous ; but then there had been many viceregal changes, and the " one sole melody his heart delighted, " had been more frequently called into requisition, as he marcheu in solemn state with the other antique gentlemen in tabards. As I walked along, each moment some old and early association being suggested by the objects around, I felt my arm suddenly seized. I turned hastily round, and beheld a very old companion in many a hard-fought field and merry bivouac, Tom O 'Flaherty of the 8th. Poor Tom was sadly changed since we last met, which was a ball in Madrid. He was then one of the best-looking fellows of his " style " I ever met tall, athletic, with the easy bearing of a man of the world, and a certain jauntiness that I have never seen but in Irishmen who have mixed much in society. There was also a certain peculiar devil -may- care recklessness about the self-satisfied swagger of his gait, and the free-and-easy glance of his sharp black eye, united with a temper that nothing could ruffle, and a courage nothing could daunt. With such qualifications as these, he had been the prime favorite of his mess, to which he never came without some droll stoiy to relate, or some choice expedient for future amusement. Such had Tom once been; now he was much altered, and though the quiet twinkle of his dark eye showed that the spirit of fun within was not " dead, but only sleeping, " to my- self, who knew something of his history, it seemed almost cruel to awaken him to anything which might bring him back to the memory of by-gone days. A momentary glance showed me that he was no longer what he had been, and that the unfortunate change in his condition, the loss of all his earliest and oldest associates, and his blighted prospects, had nearly broken a heart that never deserted a friend, nor quailed before an enemy. Poor O 'Flaherty was no more the delight of the circle he once adorned; the wit that " set the table in a roar " was all but departed. He had been dismissed the service? The story is a brief one: HARRY LORREQUER. 91 In the retreat from Burgos, the Light Dragoons, after a most fatiguing day's march, halted at the wretched village of Cabenas. It had been deserted by the inhabitants the day before, who on leav- ing had set it on fire; and the blackened walls and fallen roof -trees were nearly all that now remained to show where the little hainlet had once stood. Amid a pour-down of rain, that had fallen for several hours, drenched to the skin, cold, weary, and nearly starving, the gallant 8th reached this melancholy spot at nightfall, with little better pros- pect of protection from the storm than the barren heath through which their road led might afford them. Among the many who muttered curses, not loud but deep, on the wretched termination to their day's suffering, there was one who kept up his usual good spirits, and not only seemed himself nearly regardless of the priva- tions and miseries about him, but actually succeeded in making the others who rode alongside as perfectly forgetful of their annoj'ances and troubles as was possible iiuder such circumstances. Good stories, joking allusions to the more discontented ones of the party, ridiculous plans for the night's encampment, followed each other so rapidly, that the weariness of the way was forgotten; and while some were cursing their hard fate, that ever betrayed them into such misfortunes, the little group round O 'Flaherty were almost convulsed with laughter at the wit and drollery of one over whom, if the cir- cumstances had any influence, they seemed only to heighten his pas- sion for amusement. In the early part of the morning he had capt- ured a turkey; which hung gracefully from his holster on one side, while a small goatskin of Valencia wine balanced it on the other. These good things were destined to form a feast that evening, to which he had invited four others ; that being, according to his most liberal calculation, the greatest number to whom he could afford a reasonable supply of wine. When the halt was made; it took some time to arrange the dis- positions for the night ; and it was nearly midnight before all that regiment had got their billets and were housed, even with such scanty accommodation as the place afforded. Tom's guests had not yet arrived, and he himself was busily engaged in roasting the turkey before a large fire, on which stood a capacious vessel of spiced wine, when the 'party appeared. A very cursory " reconnaisance " through the house, one of the only ones untouched in the village, showed tliat from the late rain it would be impossible to think of sleeping in the lower story, which already showed signs of being flooded; they there- fore proceeded in a body up stairs, and what was their delight to find a most com e ortable room, neatly furnished with chairs, and a table; but above ali, a large old fashioned bed, an object of such luxury as only an old campaigner can duly appreciate. The curtains were closely tucked in all round, and, in their fleeting and hurried glance, they felt no inclination to disturb them, and rather proceeded to draw up the table before the hearth, to which they speedily removed the fire from below; and, ere many minutes, with that activity which a bivouac life invariably teaches, their suppers smoked before them, and five happier fellows did not sit down that night within u large circuit around. Tom was unusually great ; stories of drollery, un- locked before, poured from him unceasingly, and what with his high 92 HARRY LOUREQUER. spirits to excite them, and the reaction inevitable after a hard day'a severe march, the party soon lost the little reason that usually sufficed to guide them, and became as pleasantly tipsy as can well be con- ceived. However, all good things must have an end, and so had the wine-skin. Tom had placed it affectionately under his arm like a bag-pipe, and failed, with even a most energetic squeeze, to extract a drop; there was now nothing for it but to go to rest, and indeed it seemed the most prudent thing for the party. The bed became accordingly a subject of grave deliberation ; for as it could only hold two" and the party were five, there seemed some difficulty in submitting their chances to lot, which all agreed was the fairest way. While this was under discussion, one of the party had approached the contested prize, and taking up the cur- tains, proceeded to jump in when, what was his astonishment to discover that it was already occupied. The exclamation of surprise he gave forth soon brought the others to his side, and to their hor- ror, drunk as they were, thev found that the body before them was that of a dead man, arrayed in all the ghastly pomp of a corpse. A little nearer inspection showed that he had been a priest, probably the Padre of the village; on his head he had a small velvet cap, em- broidered with a cross, and his body was swathed in a vestment, such as priests usually wear at the mass; in his hand he held a large wax taper, which appeared to have burned only half down, and probably been extinguished by the current of air on opening the door. After the first brief shock which this sudden apparition had caused, the party recovered as much of their senses as the wine had left them, and proceeded to discuss what was to be done under the circum- stances ; for not one of them ever contemplated giving up a bed to a dead priest, while five living men slept on the ground. After much altercation, O 'Flaherty, who had hitherto listened without speaking, interrupted the contending parties, saying, " Stop, lads, 1 have it. " Come," said one of them, " let us hear Tom's proposal." " Oh," said he, with difficulty steadying himself while he spoke, "we'll put him to bed with old Ridgeway the quartermaster." The roar of loud laughter that followed Tom's device was renewed again and again, till not a man could speak from absolute fatigue. There was not a dissentient voice. Old Ridgeway was hated in t he- corps, and a better way of disposing of the priest and paying off the quartermaster could not be thought of. Very little time sufficed for their preparations; and if they had been brought up under the Duke of Portland himself, they could not have exhibited a greater taste for a " black job." The door of the room was quickly taken from its hinges, and the priest placed upon it at full length ; a moment more sufficed to lift the door upon their shoulders, and preceded by Tom, who lit a candle in honor of being, as he said, "chief mourner," thev took their way through the camp toward Ridgeway's quarters. When they reached the hut where their victim lay, Tom ordered a halt, and proceeded stealthily into the house to reconnoiter. The old quartermaster he found stretched on his sheep-skin before a large fire, the remnants of an ample supper strewed about him, and two empty bottles standing on the hearth his deep snoring showed that all was safe, and that no feara of his awaking need disturb them. His shako and sword lay HA11EY LORHEQUER. 93 near him, but his sabertasche was under his head; Tom carefully withdrew the former; and hastening to his friends without, pro- ceeded to decorate the priest with them ; expressing, at the same time, considerable regret that he feared it might wake Ridgeway, if he were to put the velvet skull-cap on him for a night-cap. Noiselessly and stealthily they now entered, and proceeded to put down their burden, which, after a moment's discussion, tkey agreed to place between the quartermaster and the fire, of which, hitherto, he had reaped ample benefit. This done, they stealthily retreated, and hurried buck to their quarters, unable to speak with laughter at the success of their plot, and their anticipation of Ridgeway's rage ' on awakening in the morning. It was in the dim twilight of a hasty morning, that the bugler of the 8th aroused the sleeping soldiers from their miserable couches, which, wretched as they were, they nevertheless rose from reluct- antly so wearied and fatigued had they been by the preceding day's march ; not one among the number felt so indisposed to stir as the worthy quartermaster; his peculiar avocations had demanded a more than usual exertion on his part, and in the posture he had lain down at night, he rested till morning without stirring a limb. Twice the reveille had rung through the little encampment, and twice the quartermaster had essayed to open his eyes, but in vain ; at last he made a tremendous effort, and sat bolt upright on the floor, hoping that the sudden effort might sufficiently arouse him ; slowly his eyes opened, and the first thing that they beheld was the figure of the dead priest, with a light cavalry helmet on his head, seated before him. Ridgeway, who was "bon Catholique," trembled in every joint it might be a ghost, it might be a warning, he knew not what to think he imagined the lips moved, and so overcome with terror was he at last, that he absolutely shouted like a maniac ; and never ceased till the hut was filled with officers and men, who hearing the uproar ran to his aid. The surprise of the poor quartermaster at the appari- tion was scarcely greater than that of the beholders. No one was able to afford any explanation of the circumstances, though all were assured that it must have been done in jest. The door upon which the priest had been conveyed, afforded the clew they had forgotten to restore it to its place. Accordingly the different billets were exam- ined, and at last O 'Flaherty was discovered in a most commodious bed, in a large room without a door, still fast asleep, and alone; how and when he had parted from his companions, he never could pre- cisely explain, though he has since confessed it was part of his scheme to lead them astray in the village, and then retire to the bed, which lie had determined to appropriate to his sole use. Old Ridgeway's rage knew no bounds; he absolutely foamed with passion, and in proportion as he was laughed at his choler rose higher; had this been the only result, it had been well for poor Tom, but unfortunately the affair got to be rumored through the country the inhabitants of the villages learned the indignity with which the Padre had been treated ; they addressed a memorial to Lord Wellington inquiry was immediately instituted O'Flaherty was tried by court-martial, and found guilty; nothing short of the heav- iest punishment that could be inflicted under the circumstances would satisfy the Spaniards, and at that precise period it was part of 94 HAKRT LORREQUER. our policy to conciliate their esteem by every means in our power. The commander- in-chief resolved to make what he called an " ex- ample," and poor O 'Flaherty the life and soul of his regiment th4 darling of his mess, was broke, and pronounced incapable of ever serving his Majesty again. Such was the event upon which my poor friend's fortune in life seemed to hinge he returned to Ireland, if not entirely broken-hearted, so altered that his best friends scarcely knew him; his "occupation was gone;" themeeshad been his home; his brother officers were to him in place of relatives, and he had lost all. His after life was spent in rambling from one watering place to another, more with the air of one who seeks to consume than en- joy his time ; and with such a change in appearance as the alteration m his fortune had effected, he now stood before me, but altogether so different a man, that but for the well-known tones of a voice that had so often convulsed me with laughter, 1 should have scarcely iccognized him. ' Lorrequer, my old friend, I never thought of seeing you here; this is indeed a piece of good luck." " Why, Tom? You surely knew that the were in Ireland, didn't you?" "To be sure. I dined with them only a few days ago, but they told me you were off to Paris, to marry something superlatively beautiful, and most enormously rich, the daughter of a duke, if I re- member right; but, certes, they said your fortune was made, and I need not tell you, there was not a man among them better pleased than 1 was to hear it." " Oh! they said so, did they? Droll dogs always quizzing I wonder you did not perceive the hoax eh very good, was it not?" This 1 poured out in short broken sentences, blushing like scarlet, and fidgeting like a schoolgirl in downright nervousness. " A hoax! devilish well'done, too," said Tom, " for old Garden believed the whole story, and told me that he had obtained a six months' leave for you to make your cour, and, moreover, said that he had got a letter from the nobleman, Lord confound his name." " Lord Grey, is it?" said I, with a sly look at Tom. " No, my dear friend," said he dryly, " it was not Lord Grey but to continue he had got a letter from him, dated from Paris, stating his surprise that you had never joined them there, according to promise, and that they knew your cousin Guy, and a great deal of other matter I can't remember so what does all this mean? Did you hoax the noble Lord as well as the Horse Guards, Harry?" This was indeed a piece of news for mo; I stammered out some ridiculous explanation, and promised a fuller detail. Could it bo that I had done the Callonbys injustice, and that they never intended to break off my attentions to Lady Jane that she was still faithful, and that of all concerned I alone had been to blame? Oh, how I hoped that this might be the case; heavily as my conscience might accuse, I longed ardently to forgive and deal mercifully with myself. Tom continued to talk about indifferent matters, as these thoughts flitted through my mind ; perceiving at last that I did not attend, he stopped suddenly and said : " Harry, I see clearly that something has gone wrong, and per- HA&RY LORHEQUEE. 95 haps I can make a guess at the mode too; but, however, you can do nothing about it now; come and dine with me to-day, and we'll dis- cuss the affair together after dinner; or if you prefer a ' distraction,' as we used to say in Dunkerque, why then, I'll arrange something fashionable for your evening's amusement. Come, what say j'ou to hearing Father Keogh preach, or would you like a supper at the Carlingford, or perhaps you prefer a smree cliez Maladi? for all of these Dublin affords all three good iii their way and very intellect- ual." "Well, Tom, I'm yours; but I should prefer your dining with me; I am at Bilton's; we'll have our cutlet quite alone, and " " And be heartily sick of each other, you were going to add. No, no, Harry; you must dine with me; I have some remarkably mce people to present to you six is the hour sharp six mimber Molesworth street, Mrs. Clanfrizzle's easily find it large fanlight over the door huge lamp hi the hall, and a strong odor of mutton, broth for thirty yards on each side of the premises and as good luck would have it, I see old Daly, the counselor, as they call him ; he is the very man to get to meet you you always liked a character, eh?" Saying this, O 'Flaherty disengaged himself from my arm, and hurried across the street toward a portly middle-aged looking gen- tleman, with the reddest face I ever beheld. After a brief but very animated colloquy, Tom returned, and informed me that all was right ; he had secured Daly. ' And who is Daly?" said I, inquiringly, for I was rather interest- ed hi hearing what peculiar qualification as a diner-out the counsel- or might lay claim to, many of Tom 's friends being as remarkable for being the quizzed as the quizzers. " Daly," said he, " is the brother of a most distinguished member of the Irish bar, of which he himself is also a follower, bearing, however, no other resemblance to the clever man than the name, for assuredly as the reputation of the one is inseparably linked with success, so unerringly is the other coupled with failure; and strange to say, the stupid man is fairly convinced that liis brother owes all his success to him, and that to his disinterested kindness the other is indebted for his present exalted station. Thua it is through life ; there seems ever to accompany dullness a sustaining power of vanity, that like a life-buoj r , keeps a mass afloat whoso weight unassisted would sink into obscurity. Do you know that my friend Denis there imagines himself the first man that ever enlight- ened Sir Robert Peel as to Irish affairs; and, upon my word, his reputation on this head stands incontestably higher than on most others." " You surely cannot mean that Sir Robert Peel ever consulted with, much less relied upon, the statements of such a person as you describe your friend Denis to be?" " He did both and if he was a little puzzled by the information, the only disgrace attaches to a govenment that send men to rule over us unacquainted with our habits of thinking, and utterly ignorant of the language ay, I repeat it but come, you shall judge for your- self; the story is a short one, and fortunately so, for. I must hasten home to give timely notice of your coming to dine with me. When the present Sir Robert Peel, then Mr. Peel, came over here as secre- 96 HARRY LORREQUER. tary to Ireland, a very distinguished political leader of the day invited a party to meet him at dinner, consisting of men of different political leanings ; among whom were, as may be supposed, many members of the Irish bar; the elder Daly was too remarkable a person to be omitted, but as the two brothers resided together, there was a diffi- culty about getting him. However, he must be had, and the only alternative that presented itself was adopted both were invited. When the party descended to the dining-room, by one of those unfortunate accidents, which, as the proverb informs us, occasion- ally take place in the best-regulated establishments, the wrong Mr. Daly got placed beside Mr. Peel, which post of honor had been des- tined by the host for tiie more agreeable and talented brother. There was now no help for it; and with a heart somewhat nervous for the consequences of the proximity, the worthy entertainer sat down to do the honors as best he might; he was consoled during dinner by observing that the devotion bestowed by honest Denis on the viands before him effectually absorbed his faculties, and thereby threw the entire of Mr. Peel's conversation toward the gentleman on his other flank. This happiness was, like most others, destined to be a brief one. As the dessert made its appearance, Mr. Peel began to listen with some attention to the conversation of the persons opposite; with one of whom he was struck most forcibly so happy a power of illustration, so vivid a fancy, such logical precision in argument as he evinced, perfectly charmed and surprised him. Anxious to learn the name of so gifted an individual, he turned toward his hitherto silent neighbor and demanded who he was. " ' Who is he, is it?' said Denis, hesitatingly, as if he half doubted such extent of ignorance as not to know the person alluded to. Mr. Peel bowed in acquiescence. ' That's Bushe!" said Denis, giving at the same time the same ound to the vowel u as it obtains when occuring in the word ' rush. ' ' I beg pardon, ' said Mr. Peel ; ' I did not hear. ' ' Bushe!' replied Denis, with considerable energy of tone. ' Oh, yes! I know,' said the secretary; ' Mr. Bushe, a very dis- tinguished member of your bar, I have heard.' " 'Faith, you may say that!' said Denis, tossing off his wine at what he esteemed a very trite observation. " ' Pray,' said Mr. Peel, again returning to the charge, though cer- tainly feeling not a little surprised at the singular laconicism of his informant, no less than the mellifluous tones of an accent then per- fectly new to him. ' Pray, may I ask what is the peculiar characicr of Mr. Bushe 's eloquence? I mean, of course, in his professional capacity. ' 'Eh?' said Denis, ' I don't comprehend you exactly.' ' I mean,' said Mr. Peel ' in one word, what's his forte?' 'His forte!' ' I mean ~hat his peculiar gift consist in ' ' Oh, I perceive I have ye now the juries.' 'Ah! addressing a jury. ' Ay, the juries. ' ' ' Can you oblige me by giving me any idea of the manner in which he obtains such signal success in this difficult branch of elo- quence?" HAtlllY LORREQUER. 97 " ' I'll tell ye,' said Denis, leisurely finishing his glass, and smack- Ing his lips, with the air of a man girding up his loins for a mighty effort. " I'll tell ye well, ye see the way he has is this,' here Mr, Peel's expectation rose to the highest degree of interest ' the way he has is this he first butthers them up and then slithers tkem down, that's all; a devil a more of a secret there's in it.' ' How much reason Denis had to boast of imparting early informa- tion to the new secretary I leave my English readers to guess; my Irish ones I may trust to do him ample justice. My friend now left me to my own devices to while away the hours till the time to dress for dinner. Heaven help the gentleman so left in Dublin, say I. It is, perhaps, the only city of its size in the world, where there is no lounge no promenade. Very little experience of it will convince you that it abounds in pretty women, and has its fair share of agree- able men; but where are they in the morning? I wish Sir Dick Lauder, instead of speculating where salmon spent the Christmas holidays, would apply his most inquiring mind to such a question as this. True it is, however, they are not to be found. The squares are deserted the streets are very nearly so and all that is left to the luckless wanderer in search of the beautiful, is to ogle the beauties of Dame-street, who are shopkeepers in Graf ton-street, or the beauties of Grafton-street, who are shop-keepers in Dame-street. But, con- found it, how cranky I am getting I must be tremendously hungry. True it's past six. So now for my suit of sable, and then to din- ner. CHAPTER XI1L DUBLIN THE BOARDING-HOUSE SELECT SOCIETY. PUNCTUAL to my appointment with O 'Flaherty, I found myself a yery few minutes after six o'clock at Mrs. Clanfrizzle's door. My very authoritative summons at the bell was answered by the appearance of a young, pale-faced invalid, in a suit of livery the taste of which bore a very unpleasant resemblance to the one I so lately fisrured in. It was with considerable difficulty I persuaded this functionary to permit my carrying my hat with me to the drawing-room, a species of caution on my part as he esteemed it savoring much of distrust This point, however, I carried, and followed him up a very ill- lighted stair to the drawing-room ; here I was announced by some faint resemblance to my real name, but sufficiently near to bring my friend Tom at once to meet me, who immediately congratulated me on my fortune in coming off so well, for that the person who pre- ceded me, Mr. Jones Blennerhasset, had been just announced as Mr. Blatherhashit a change the gentleman himself was not disposed to adopt. " But come along, Harry, while we are waiting for Daly, let me make you known to some of our party ; this, you must know, is a boarding-house, and always has some capital fun queerest people you ever met I have only one hint cut every man, woman, and child of them, if you meet them hereafter I do it myself, though I have lived here these six months." Pleasant people, thought I, these muet be, with whom such a line ia advisable, much less practicable. 98 HARRY LORREQUER. " Mrs. Clanfrizzle, my friend Mr. Lorrcquer; thinks he'll stay the summer in town. Mrs. Clan , should like him to be one of us." This latter was said sotto wee, and was a practice he continued to adopt in presenting me to his several friends through the room. Miss Riley, a horrid old fright, in a bird of paradise plume, and corked eyebrows, gibbeted in gilt chains and pearl ornaments, and looking as the gnsettes say, "superb en chrysolite" "Miss Riley, Captain Lorrequer, a friend I have long desired to present to you fifteen thousand a year and a baronetcy, if he has sixpence," sotto again. " Surgeon M'Culloch he likes the title," said Tom, in a whisper " Surgeon, Captain Lorrequer. By the bye, lest I forget it, he wishes to speak to you in the morning about his health ; he is stopping at Sandymount for the baths; you could go out there, eh?" The tall thing in green spectacles bowed, and acknowledged Tom's kindness by a knowing touch of the elbow. In this way he made the tour of the room for about ten minutes, during which brief space, I was, according to the kind arrangements of O'Flaherty, booked as a resident in the boarding-house a lover to at least five elderly, and three young ladies a patient a client a second in a duel to a clerk in the post-office and had also volunteered (through him al- ways) to convey, by all of his majesty's mails, as many parcels, packets, band-boxes, and bird-cages, as would have comfortably filled one of Pickford's vans. All this he told me was requisite to my being well received, though no one thought much of any breach of compact, subsequently, except Mrs. Clan herself. The ladies had, alas! been often treated vilely before; the doctor had never had a patient; and as for the belligerent knight of the dead office, he'd rather die than fight any day. The last person to whom my friend deemed it necessary to intro- duce me, was a Mr. Garret Cudmore, from the Reeks of Kerry, lately matriculated to all the honors of freemanship in the Dublin univer- sity. This latter was a low-sized, dark- browed man, with round shoulders, and particularly long arms, the disposal of which seemed sadly to distress him. He possessed the most perfect brogue I ever listened to; but it was difficult to get him to speak, for on copiing up to town some weeks before, he had been placed by some intelli- gent friend at Mrs. Clanfrizzle's establishment, with the express direc- tion to mark and thoroughly digest as much as he could of the habits and customs of the circle about him, which he was rightly informed was the very focus of good breeding and haut ton; "but on no ac- count, unless driven thereto by the pressure of sickness, or the wants of nature, to trust himself with speech, which in his then uninformed state, he was assured would inevitably ruin him among his fastidi- ously cultivated associates. To the letter and the spirit of the dispatch he had received, the worthy Garret acted rigidly, and his voice was scarcely ever known to transgress the narrow limits prescribed by his friends. In more respects than one was this a good resolve ; for so completely had he identified himself with college habits, things and phrases, that when ever he conversed, he became little short of unintelligible to the vulgar a difficulty not decreased by his peculiar pronunciation. My round of presentation was just completed, when the pale figure fc\ light blue livery announced Counselor Daly and dinner, for both HARRY LORREQUER. 99 came fortunately together. Taking the post of honor, Miss Riley's arm, I followed Tom, whom I soon perceived ruled the whole con- cern, as he led the way with another ancient vestal in black satin and bugles. The long procession wound its snake-like length down the narrow stair, and into the dining-room, where at last we all got seated; and here let me briefly vindicate the motives of my friend should any unkind person be found to impute to his selection of a residence, any base and groveling passion for gourmaudais, that day's experi- ence should be an eternal vindication of him. The soup alas! that I should so far prostitute the word; for the black broth of Sparta was mock turtle in comparison retired to make way for a mass of beef, whose tenderness I did not question; for it sank beneath the knife of the carver like a feather bed the skill of Saladin himself would have failed to divide it. The fish was a most rebellious pike, and nearly killed every loyal subject at table; and then down the sides were various comestibles of chickens, with azure bosoms, and hams with hides like a rhinoceros; covered dishes of decomposed vegetable matter, called spinach and cabbage; potatoes arrayed in small masses, and browned, resembling those ingenious architectural structures of mud children raise in the highways, and call dirt-pies. Such were the chief constituents of the " feed;" and such, I am bound to confess, waxed beautifully less under the vigorous onslaught of the party. The conversation soon became both loud and general. That happy familiarity which I had long believed to be the exclusive preroga- tive of a military mess, where constant daily association sustains the interest of the veriest trifles I here found in a perfection I had not anticipated, with this striking difference that there was no absurd deference to any existing code of etiquette in the conduct of the party generally, each person quizzing his neighbor in the most free and easy style imaginable, and all, evidently from long habit and. conventional usage, seeming to enjoy the practice exceedingly. Thus, droll allusions, good stories, and smart repartees, fell thick as hail, and twice as harmless, which anywhere else that I had ever heard of, would assuredly have called for more explanations, and perhaps gunpowder, in the morning, than usually are deemed agreea- ble! Here, however, they know better; and, though the lawyer quizzed the doctor for never having another patient than the house dog, all of whose arteries he had tied in the course of the winter for practice and the doctor retorted as heavily, by showing that the sawyer's practice had been other than beneficial to those for whom IK- v.as concerned his one client being found guilty, mainly through his ingenious defense of him; yet they never showed any, the slight- est irritation on the contrary, such little playful badinage ever led to some friendly passages of taking wine together, or in arrangements for a party to the " Dargle," or " Dunleary;" and thus went on the entire party, the young ladies darting an occasional slight at their elders, who certainly returned the fire, often with advantage; all imiting now and then, however, in one common cause, an attack of the whole line upon Mrs. Claufrizzle herself, for the beef, or the mutton, or the fish, or the poultry, each of which was sure to find some sturdv defamer ready and willing to give evidence in dispraise. Yet even these and i thought them rather dangerous sallies led to 100 HARRY LORREQTJER. no more violent results than dignified replies from the worthy host- ess upon the goodness of her fare, and the evident satisfaction it afforded -while being eaten, if the appetites of the party were a test. While this was at its height, Tom stooped behind my chair, and whispered gentlv: " This is good isn't it, eh? life in a boarding-house quite new to you ; but they are civilized now compared to what you'll find them in the drawing-room. When short whist for five-penny points Bets in then Greek meets Greek, and we'll have it." During all this melee tournament, I perceived that the worthy jib, as he would be called in the parlance of Trinity, Mr. Cudmore, remained perfectly silent, and apparently terrified. The noise, the din of voices, and the laughing so completely addled him, that he was like one in a very horrid dream. The attention with which I had observed him, having been remarked by my friend O' Flaherty, he informed me that the scholar, as he was called there, was then under a kind of cloud an adventure which occurred only two nights before, being too fresh in his memory to permit him enjoying himself even to the limited extent it had been his wont to do. As illustrative, not only of Mr. Cudmore, but the life I have been speak- ing' of, I may as well relate it. boon after Mr. Cudmore's enlistment under the banners of the Clanfrizzle, he had sought and found an asylum in the drawing- room of the establishment, which promised, from its geographical relations, to expose him less to the molestations of conversation than most other parts of the room. This was a small recess beside the fire-place, not uncommon in old-fashioned houses, and which, from its incapacity to hold more than one", secured to the worthy recluse the privacy he longed for, and here, among superannuated hearth- brushes, an old hand-screen, an asthmatic bellows, and a kettle- holder, sat the timid youth, " alone, but in a crowd." Not all the seductions of loo, limited to threepence, nor even that most appro- priately designated game, beggar-rny-neighbor could withdraw him from his blest retreat. Like his countryman, St. Kevin my friend Petrie has ascertained that the saint was a native of Tralee he fled from the temptations of the world, and the blandishments of the fair; but, alas! like the saint himself, the "poor jib little knew All that wily sex can do ;" for while he hugged himself in the security of his fortress, the web of his destiny was weaving. So true is it, as he himself used, no less pathetically than poetically, to express it, " misfortune will find you out if you were hid in a tay chest. " It happened that in Mrs. Clanfrizzle's establishment the " enfant blue," already mentioned, was the only individual of his sex re- tained; and without for a moment disparaging the ability or atten- tions of this gifted person, yet it may reasonably be credited, that in waiting on a party of twenty -five or thirty persons at dinner, all of whom he had admitted as porter, and announced as maitre d 'hotel, with the subsequent detail of his duties in the drawing-room, that Peter, blue Peter his boarding-house soubriquet not enjoying the bird-like privilege of " being in two places at once," gave one rather HARRY LORREQUER. 102 the impression of a person of hasty and fidgety habits for which nervous tendency the treatment he underwent was certainly injudi- cious it being the invariable custom for each guest to put his serv- ices in requisition, perfectly irrespective of all other claims upon him, from whatsoever quarter coming and then, at the precise mo- ment that the luckless valet was snuffing the candles, he was abused by one for not bringing coal; by another for having carried off his tea-cup, on an expedition for sugar; by a third for having left the door open, which lie had never been near; and so on to the end of the chapter. It chanced, that a few evenings previous to my appearance at the house, this indefatigable Caleb was ministering as usual to the van ous and discrepant wants of the large party assembled in the draw- ing-room. With his wonted alacrity he had withdrawn, from their obscure retreat against the wall, sundry little tables, destined for the players at whist, or " spoil five" the popular game of the estab- lishment. With a dexterity that savored much of a stage education, he had arranged the candles, the cards, the counters; he had poked the fire, settled the stool for Miss Riley's august feet, and was busily engaged in changing five shillings into small silver, for a desperate victim of loo when Mrs. Clanfrizzle's third, and, as it appeared, last time, of asking for the kettle smote upon his ear. His loyalty would have induced him at once to desert everything on such an occasion; but the other party engaged held him fast, saying: " Never mind Tier, Peter you have sixpence more to give me." Poor Peter rummaged one pocket, then another discovering at last threepence in copper, and some farthings, with which he seemed endeavoring to make a composition with his creditor for twelve shillings in the pound; when Mrs. Clan's patience finally becoming exhausted, she turned toward Mr. Cudmore, the only unemployed person she could perceive, and with her blandest smile said: "Mr. Cudmore, may I take the liberty of requesting you would hand me the kettle beside you?" Now, though the kettle aforesaid was, as the hostess very properly observed, beside him, yet the fact that in complying with the demand it was necessary for the bashful youth to leave the recess he occupied, and with the kettle, proceed to walk half across the room there to perform certain manual operations requiring skill and presence of mind, before a large and crowded assembly was horror to the mind of the poor Jib ; and he would nearly as soon have acceded to a de- sire to dance a hornpipe, if such had been suggested as the wish of the company. However, there was nothing for it ; and summon- ing up all his nerve knitting his brows clinching his teeth like one prepared to " do or die," he seized the hissing caldron, and strode through the room, like the personified genius of steam, very much to the alarm of all the old ladies in the vicinity; whose tasteful drapery benefited but little from his progress. Yet he felt but little of all this: he had brought \ip his courage to the sticking place, and he was absolutely half unconscious of the whole scene before him: nor was it till some kind mediator had seized his arm, while another drew him back by the skirts of the coat, that he desisted from the deluge of hot water, with which, having filled the tea-pot, he pro- ceeded to swamp everything else upon the tray, in his unfortunate 102 HARRY LORREQt'ER. abstraction. Mrs. Clanfrizzle screamed the old ladies accompanied her the young ones tittered the men laughed and, in a word poor Cudmore, perfectly unconscious of anything extraordinary, fell himself the admired of all admirers very little, ft is true, to his own satisfaction. After some minutes' exposure to these ecla'ts de rire. lie succeeded in depositing the source of his griefs within the fender, and once more retired to his sanctuary having registered a vow ^ which, should I speak it, would forfeit his every claim to gallantry * forever. Whether in the vow aforesaid Mr. Cudmore had only been engaged in that species of tesselating which furnishes the pavement so cele- brated in the lower regions, I know not; but true it is, that he retired that night to his chamber very much discomfited at his debut in the great world, and half disposed to believe that nature had neither in- tended him for a Brummel nor a D'Orsay. While he was ruminating on such matters, he w r as joined by O 'Flaherty, Avith whom he had been always more intimate than any other inmate of the house Tom's tact haying entirely concealed what the manners of the others too plainly evinced, the perfect appreciation of the student's oddity and singularity. After some few observations on general matters, O 'Flaherty began with a tone of some seriousness to express toward Cudmore the warm interest he had ever taken in him, since his first coming among them; his great anxiety for his welfare, and his firm resolve that no chance or casual inattention to mere ceremonial ob- servances on his part should ever be seized on by the other guests as a ground for detraction or an excuse for ridicule of him. " Rely upon it, my dear boy," said he, " I have watched over you like a parent ; and having partly foreseen that something like this affair of to-night would take place sooner or later " " What affair?" said Cudmore his eyes starting half out of his head. " That business of the kettle." " Kett el. The kettle! What of that?" said Cudmore. " What of it? Why, if you don't feel it, I am sure it is not my duty to remind you; only " " Feel it oh yes. I saw them laughing, because I spilled the water over old Mrs. Jones, or something of that sort." " No, no, my dear young friend, they were not laughing at tfiat their mirth had another object." " What the devil was it at, then?" " You don't know, don't you?" " No; I really do not." " Nor can't guess eh?" " Confound me if I can." " Well, I see, Mr. Cudmore, you are really too innocent for these people. But come it shall never be said that youth and inexperi- ence ever suffered from the unworthy ridicule and cold sarcasm of the base world, while Tom O'Flaherty stood by a spectator. " Sir," said Tom, striking his hand with, energy on the table, and dartinga look of fiery indignation from his eye, " Sir, you were this night Trepanned yes sir, vilely, shamefully trepanned I repeat the expression into the performance of a menial office an office so de- grading, so offensive, so unbecoming the rank, the station and the HARRY LORREQUER. 103 habits of a gentleman, my very blood recoils when I only think of the indignity." The expression of increasing wonder and surprise depicted in Mr. Cudmore's face at these words, my friend Phiz might convey I can- not venture to describe it suffice it to say, that even O 'Flaherty himself found it difficult to avoid a burst of laughter, as he looked at him and resumed : " Witnessing as I did, the entire occurrence; feeling deeply for the inexperience which the heartless worldlings had dared to trample upon, I resolved to stand by you, and here I am come for that pur- pose." " Well, but what in the devil's name have I done all this time?" " What! are you still ignorant? is it possible? Did you not hanrt the kettle from the fire-place, and fill the tea-pot? answer me that. ' ' " I did," said Cudmore, with a voice already becoming tremulous " Is that the duty of a gentleman? answer me that." A dead pause stood in place of a reply, while Torn proceeded: " Did you ever hear any one ask me, or Counselor Daly, or Mr. Fogarty, or any other person to do so? answer me that." " No; never," muttered Cudmore, with a sinking spirit. " AVell, then, why, may I ask, were you selected for an office that, by your own confession, no one else would stoop to perform? I'll tell you, because from your youth and inexperience, your inno- cence was deemed a fit victim to the heartless sneers of *a cold and unfeeling world. ' ' And here Tom broke forth into a very beautiful apostrophe, beginning. " Oh, virtue!" (this I am unfortunately un- able to present to my readers ; and must only assure them that it was a very faithful imitation of the well-known one delivered by Burke in the case of Warren Hastings), and concluded with an ex- hortation to Cudmore to wipe out the stain of his wounded honor, by repelling with indignation the slightest future attempt at such an insult. This done, O 'Flaherty retired, leaving Cudmore to dig among Greek roots, and chew over the cud of his misfortunes. Punctual to the time and place, that same evening beheld the injured Cudmore resume his wonted corner, pretty much with the feelings with which a forlorn hope stands match in hand to ignite the train destined to explode with ruin to thousands himself perhaps among the number; there he sat with a brain as burning and a heart as excited as though, instead of sipping his bohea beside a sea-coal fire, he was that instant trembling beneath the frown of Dr. Elrington for the blunders in his Latin theme, and what terror to the mind of a " Jib " can equal that one? As luck would have it, this was a company night in the boarding- house. Various young ladies in long blue sashes, and very broad ribbon sandals, paraded the rooms, chatting gayly with very distin- guished looking young gentlemen, with gold brooches, and parti- colored inside waistcoats : sundry elderly ladies sat at card-tables, dis- cussing the " lost honor by an odd trick they played," spruce clerks in public offices (whose vocation the expansive tendency of the right ear, from long pen-carrying, betokened) discussed fashion, " and the musical glasses " to some very over-dressed married ladies, who pre- ferred flirting to five-and-ten. The tea-table, over which the amiable 104 HARRY LORREQUER. hostess presided, had also its standing notaries: mostly grave parlia- mentary-looking gentlemen, with powdered heads, and very long- waisted black coats, among whom the Sir Oracle was a functionary of his Majesty's High Court of Chancery, though I have reason to believe, not, Lord Manners; meanwhile, in all parts of the room might be seen Blue Peter, distributing tea, coffee, and biscuit, and occasionally interchanging a joke with the dwellers in the house. While all these pleasing occupations proceeded, the hour of Cud- more's trial was approaching. The tea-pot which had stood the attack of fourteen cups without flinching, at last began to fail, and discovered to the prying eyes of Mrs. Clanfrizzlc nothing but an olive-colored deposit of soft matter, closely analogous in appearance and chemical property to the residuary precipitate in a drained fish- pond; she put down the lid with a gentle sigh, and turning toward the fire bestowed one of her very blandest and most captivating looks on Mr. Cudmore, saying as plainly as looks could say " Cudmore, you're wanting," Whether the youth did or did not understand I am unable to record : I can only say, the appeal was made without acknowledgment. Mrs. Clanfrizzle again essayed, and by a little masonic movement of her hand to the tea-pot, and a sly glance at the hob, intimated her wish still hopelessly ; at last there was noth - ing for it but speaking; and she donned her very softest voice, and most persuasive tone, saying, " Mr. Cudmore, I am really very troublesome: will you permit me to ask you " " Is it for the kettle, ma'am?" said Cudmore, with a voice, that startled the whole room, disconcerting three whist parties, and so absorbing the attention of the people at loo, that the pool disappeared without any one being able to account for the circumstance. " Is it for the kettle, ma'am?" " If you will be so very kind," lisped the hostess. " Well, then, upon my conscience, you are impudent," said Cud- more, with his face crimsoned to the ears, and his eyes flashing fire. " Why, Mr. Cudmore," began the lady, "why really this is so strange. Why, sir, what can you mean?" " Just that," said the imperturbable jib, who, now that his cour- age was up, dared everything. " But sir, you must surely have misunderstood me. I only asked for the kettle, Mr. Cudmore." " The devil a more," said Cud, with a sneer. " Well, then, of course " " Well, then, I'll tell you of course," said he, repeating her words; " the sorrow taste of the kettle I'll give you. Call your own skip Blue Pether there damn me, if I'll be your skip any longer." For the uninitiated I have only to add, that, " skip " is theTrinily College appellation for servant, which was therefore employed by Mr. Cudmore on this occasion, as expressing more contemptuously his sense of the degradation of the office attempted to be put upon Mm. Having already informed my reader on some particulars of the company, I leave him to suppose how Mr. Cudmore's speech was received. Whist itself was at an end for that evening, and nothing but laughter, long, loud, and reiterated, burst from every corner of the room for hcurs after. A I have so far traveled out of the record of my own peculiar HARRY LORREQUER. 105 confessions as to give a leaf from what might one day form the mat- ter of Mr. Cudmore's, I must now make the only amende in my power, by honestly narrating that, short as my visit was to the clas- sic precincts of this agreeable establishment, I did not escape with- out exciting my share of ridicule, though I certainly had not the worst of the joke, and may, therefore, with better grace, tell the story, which, happily for my readers, is a very brief one. A custom prevailed in Mrs. Clanfrizzle's household, which from my unhappy ignorance of boarding-houses, I am unable to predicate if it belong to the general at large, or this one specimen in particular; however, it is a sufficiently curious fact, even though thereby hang no tale, for my stating it here. The decanters on the dinner table were never labeled, with their more appropriate designation of contents, whether claret, sherry, or port, but with the names of then- respective owners, it being a matter of much less consequence that any individual at table should mix his wine, by pouring " port upon madeira," than commit the truly legal offense of appropriating to his own use and benefit, even by mistake, his neighbor's bottle. However well the system may work among the regular members of the " domestic circle" and I am assured that it does succeed extremely to the newly arrived guest, or uninitiated visitor, the affair is perplexing, and leads occasionally to awkward results. It so chanced from my friend O'Flaherty's habitual position at the foot of the table, and my post of honor near the head, that on the first day of my appearing there the distance between us not only Erecluded all possible intercourse, but any of those gentle hints as to abits and customs, a new arrival looks for at the hands of his bet- ter informed friend. The only mode of recognition, to prove that we belonged to each other, being by that excellent and truly English custom of drinking wine together, Tom seized the first idle moment from his avocation as carver, to say: " Lorrequer, a glass of wine with you." Having, of course, acceded, he again asked. " "What wine do you drink?" intending thereby, as I afterward learned to send me, from his end of the table, what wine I selected. Not conceiving the object of the inquiry, and having hitherto with- out hesitation helped myself from the decanter which bore some faint resemblance to sherry, I immediately turned for correct infor- mation to the bottle itself, upon whose slender neck was ticketed the usual slip of paper. My endeavor to decipher the writing occupied time sufficient again to make O 'Flaherty ask: " Well, Harry, I'm waiting for you. Will you have port?" " No, I thank you," I replied, having by this revealed the inscrip- tion. " No, I thank you. I'll just stick to my old friend here, Bob M'Grotty;" for thus I rendered familiarly the name of Rt. M'Grotty on the decanter, and which I in my ignorance believed to be the boarding-house soubriquet for bad sherry. That Mr M'Grotty him- self little relished my familiarity with either his name or property I had a very decisive proof, for, turning round upon his chair, and surveying my person from head to foot with a look of fiery wrath, he thundered out in very broad Scotch: " And by my saul, my freend, ye may just as weel finish it noo, 100 HAUKY LORREQUER. for dcfl a glass o' his ain wine did Bob M 'Grotty, as ye ca' him, swallow this day." The convulsion of laughter into which my blunder and tin; Scotch- man's passion threw the whole board lusted till the cloth was with- drawn, and the ladies had retired to the drawing-room, the only in- dividual at table not relishing the mistake being the injured proprie- tor of the bottle, who was too proud to accept reparation from my friend's decanter, and would scarcely condescend to open his lips during the evening; notwithstanding which display of honest indig- nation, we contrived to become exceedingly merry and jocose, most of the party communicating little episodes of their life, in which, it is true, they frequently figured in situations that nothing but their native and natural candor would venture to avow. One story I was considerably amused at : it was told b> the counselor, Mr. Daly, in illustration of the difficulty of rising at the bar, and which, as show- ing his own mode of obviating the delay that young professional men submit to from hard necessity, as well as in evidence of his strictly legal turn, I shall certainly recount, one of these days, for the edification of the junior bar. CHAPTER XTV. THE CHASE. ON the morning after my visit to the boarding-house, I received a few hurried lines from Curzon, informing me that no time was to be lost in joining the regiment that a grand fancy ball was about to be given by the officers of the Dwarf frigate, then stationed off Dun- more; who, when inviting the , specially put in a demand for my well-known services to make it go off, and concluding with an extract from the Kilkenny Moderator, which ran thus: " An intima- tion has just reached us, from a quarter on which we can place the fullest reliance that the celebrated amateur performer, Mr. Lorrequer, may shortly be expected amongst us; from the many accounts we have received of this highly-gifted gentleman's powers, we anticipate a great treat to the lovers of the drama," &c., &c. " So you see, my dear Hal," continued Curzon, " thy vocation calls thee; therefore come, and come quickly provide thyself with a black satin cos- tume, slashed with light'blue point lace collar, and ruffles a Span- ish hat looped in front and, if possible, a long rapier, with a flap hilt. Garden is not here; so you can show your face under any color with perfect impunity, "iours from the side scenes, " C. CURZON." This clever epistle sufficed to show me that the gallant th had gone clean theatrical mad; and although from my " last appear- ance on any stage," it might be supposed I should feel no peculiar desire to repeat the experiment, yet the opportunity of joining during Col. Garden's absence was too tempting to resist, and I at once made up my mind to set out, and without a moment's delay, hurried across the street to the coach office, to book myself an inside in the mail of that night ; fortunately no difficulty existed in my securing a seat, for the way-bill was a perfect blank, and I found myself the only HARRY LORREQUER. 107 person who had, as yet, announced himself a passenger. On return. Ing to my hotel, I found O'Flaherty waiting for me; he was greatly distressed on hearing my determination to leave town explained how he had been catering for my amusement for the week to come- that a picnic to the Dargle was arranged in a committee of the whole house, and a boating party, with a dinner at the Pigeon-house was then under consideration. Resisting, however, such extreme temp- tations, I mentioned the necessity of my at once proceeding to head- quarters, and all other reasons for my precipitanc3 r failing, concluded with that really knock-down argument, "I have taken my place;" this, I need scarcely add, finished the matter at least / have never known it to fail in such cases. Tell ,your friends that your wife is hourly expected to be confined; your favorite child is in the measles: your best friend waiting yoiir aid in an awkward scrape your one vote only wanting to turn the scale in an election. Tell them, I say, each or all of these, or a hundred more like them, and to any one you so speak, the answer is " Pooh, pooh, my dear fellow, never fear don't fuss yourself take it easy to-morrow will do just as well." If, on the other hand, however, you reject such flimsy excuses, and simply say, " I'm booked in the mail," the opposition at once falls to the ground, and your quondam antagonist, who was ready to quarrel with you, is at once prepared to assist in packing your port- manteau. Having soon satisfied my friend Tom lhat resistance was in vain, I promised to eat an early dinner with him at Morrison's, and spent the better part of the morning in putting down a few notes of my Confessions, as well as the particulars of Mr. Daly's story, which, I believe, I half or wholly promised my readers at the conclusion of my last chapter; but which I must defer to a more suitable oppor- tunity, when mentioning the next occasion of my meeting him on the southern circuit. My dispositions were speedily made. I was fortunate in securing the exact dress my friend's letter alluded to among the stray costumes of Fishamble street; and rich in the possession of the only " prop- erties" it has been my lot to acquire, I despatched my treasure to the coach office, and hastened to Morrison's, it being by this time nearly five o'clock. There, true to time, I found O'Flaherty deep in the perusal of the bill, along which figured the novel expedients for dining, 1 had been in the habit of reading in every Dublin hotel since my boyhood. " Mock turtle, mutton, gravy, roast beef, and potatoes shoulder of mutton and potatoes! ducks, peas and pota- toes ! ! ham and chicken, cutlet steak and potatoes ! ! ! apple tart and cheese;" with a slight cadenza of a sigh over the distant glories of Very, or still better the " Frfires," we sat down to a very patriarchal repast, and what may be always had par excellence in Dublin, a bottle of Sneyd's claret. Poor Tom's spirits were rather below their usual pitch; and al- though he made many efforts to rally and appear gay, he could not accomplish it. However, we chatted away over old times and old friends, and forgetting all else but the topics we talked of, the time- piece over the chimney first apprised me that two whole hours had gone by, and that it was now seven o'clock, the very hour the roach was to start. I started up at once, and notwithstanding all Tom's 108 HARRY LORREQUER. representations of the impossibility of my being in time, had dis- patched waiters in different directions for a jarvey, more than ever determined upon going; so often is it that when real reasons for our conduct are wanting, any casual or chance opposition confirms us in an intention which before was but uncertain. Seeing me so resolved, Tom at length gave way, and advised my pursuing the mail, which must be gone now at least ten minutes, and which, with smart driv- ing, I should probably overtake before getting free of the city, as they have usually many delays in so doing. I at once ordered out the "yellow post-chaise," and before many minutes had elapsed, what with imprecation and bribery, I started in pursuit of his Majesty's Cork and Kilkenny mail-coach, then patiently waiting in the court-yard of the Post Ofhce. " Which way now, your honor?" said a shrill voice from the dark for such the night had already become; and threatened, with a few heavy drops of straight rain, the fall of a tremendous shower. " The Naas road," said I; " and harkye, my fine fellow, if you overtake the coach in half an hour, I'll double your fare. " " Begorra, I'll do my endayvor," said the youth; at the same in- Btant dashing in both spurs, we rattled down Nassau street at a very respectable pace for harriers. Street after street we passed, and at last I perceived we had "got clear of the city, and were leaving the long line of lamp-lights behind us. The night was now pitch-dark. I could not see anything whatever. The quick clattering of the wheels, the sharp crack of the postilion's whip, or the still sharper tones of his " gee-up," showed me we were going at a tremendous rate, had I not even had the experience afforded by the frequent visits my head paid to the roof of the chaise, so often as we bounded over a stone, or splashed through a hollow. Dark and gloomy as it was, I constantly let down the window, and with half my body pro- truded, I endeavored to catch a glimpse of the " Chase;" but noth- ing could I see. The rain fell in actual torrents; and a more miser- able night it is impossible to conceive. After about an hour so spent, we at last came to a check, so sudden and unexpected on my part, that I was nearly precipitated, harlequin fashion, through the front window. Perceiving that we no longer moved, and suspecting that some part of our tackle had given away, I let down the sash and cried out " Well now, my lad, anything wrong?" My question was, however, unheard; and although amid the steam arising from the wet and smoking horses, I could per- ceive several figures indistinctly moving about, I could not distin- guish what they were doing, nor what they said. A laugh I certainly did hear, and heartily cursed the unfeeling wretch as I supposed him to be, who was enjoying himself at my disappointment. I again, en- deavored to find out what had happened, and called out still louder than before. " We are at Ra'coole, your honor," said the-boy, approaching the door of the chaise, " and she's only beat us by hafe a mile." " Who the devil is she?" said I. " The mail, your honor, is always a female in Ireland." " Then why do you stop now? You're not going to feed, I sup. pose?" " Of course not, your honor, it's little feeding troubles these HARRY LORREQUER. 109 bastes, anyhow, but they tell me the road is so heavy we'll never take the chaise over the next stage without leaders." " Without leaders!" said I. " Pooh! my good fellow, nohumbug- ging; four horses for a light post-chaise and no luggage; come, get up, and no nonsense." At this moment a man apprached the win- dow with a lantern in his hand, and so strongly represented the dreadful state of the roads from the late rains the length of the stage the frequency of accidents latterly from under-horsing, &c. &c., that I yielded a reluctant assent, and ordered out the leaders, comforting myself the while, that, considering the inside fare of the coach I made such efforts to overtake was under a pound, and time was no object to me, I certainly was paying somewhat dearly for my character for resolution. At last we got under way once more, and set off cheered by a tre- mendous shout from at least a dozen persons, doubtless denizens of that interesting locality, amongst which I once again heard the laugh that had so much annoyed me already. The rain was falling, if pos- sible, more heavily than before, and had evidently set in for the entire night. Throwing myself back into a corner of the " leathern con- venience," I gave myself up to the full enjoyment of the Rouche- f oucauld maxim that there is always a pleasure felt in the misfortunes of even our best friends, and certainly experienced no small comfort in my distress, by contrasting my present position with that of my two friends in the saddle, as they sweltered on through mud and mire, rain and storm. On we went, splashing, bumping, rocking and jolting, till I began at last to have serious thoughts of abdicating the seat and betaking myself to the bottom of the chaise, for safety and protection. Mile after mile succeeded, and as after many a short and fitful slumber, which my dreams gave an apparent length to, I woke only to find myself still in pursuit the time seemed so enor mously protracted, that I began to fancy my whole life was to be passed in the dark, in chase of the Kilkenny mail, as we read in the true history of the flying Dutchman, who, for his sins of impatience like mine spent centuries vainly endeavoring to double the Cape, or the Indian mariner in Moore's beautiful ballad, of whom we are told as " Many a day to night grave way. And many a morn succeeded, Yet still his flight by day and night, That restless mariner speeded." This might have been all very well in the tropics, with a smart craft and doubtless plenty of sea-store but in a chaise, at night, and on the Naas road, I humbly suggest I had all the worst of the parallel. At last the altered sound of the wheels gave notice of our approach to a town, and after about twenty minutes' rattling over the pavement we entered what I supposed correctly to be Naas. Here I had long since determined my pursuit should cease. I had done enough, and more than enough, to vindicate my fame against any charge of irres- olution as to leaving Dublin, and was bethinking me of the various modes of prosecuting my journey on the morrow, when we drew suddenly up at the door of the Swan. The arrival of a chaise and four at a small country town inn suggests to the various employe* 110 1IAKKY LOKHKQUER. therein anything rather than the traveler in pursuit of the mail, and so the moment I arrived I was assailed with innumerable proffers of horses, supper, bed, &c. 3Iy anxious query was thrice repeated in vain, " When did the coach pass?" "The mail," replied the landlord, at length. " Is it the down mail?" Not understanding the technical, I answered, " Of course not the Down the Kilkenny and Cork mail?" " From Dublin, sir?" " Yes, from Dublin." " Not arrived yet, sir, nor will it for three quarters of an hour; they never leave Dublin till a quarter past seven; that is, in fact, half past, and their time here is twenty minutes to eleven." " Why, you stupid son of a boot-top, we have been posting on all night like the devil, and all this time the coach has been ten miles behind us." " Well, we've cotch them anyhow," said the urchin, as he disen- gaged himself from his wet saddle and stood upon the ground, ' ' and it is not my fault that the coach is not before us." With a satisfactory anathema upon all innkeepers, waiters, hostlers, and post-boys with a codicil including coach proprietors, I followed the smirking landlord into a well-lighted room, with a blazing lire, when, having ordered supper, I soon regained my equanimity. My rasher and poached eggs, all Naas could afford me, were speed- ily dispatched, and as my last glass from one pint of sherry was poured out, the long-expected coach drew up. A minute after the coachman entered to take his dram, followed by the guard, a more lamentable spectacle of condensed moisture cannot be conceived ; the rain fell from the entire circumference of his broad-brimmed hat, like the ever-flowing drop from the edge of an antique fountain ; his drab coat had become of a deep orange hue, while his huge figure loomed still larger as he stood amid a nebula of damp that would have made an atmosphere for the Georgium Sidus. " Going on to-night, sir?" said he, addressing me, " severe weath- er, and no chance of its clearing, but of course you're inside." ''Why, there is very little doubt of that," said I. "Are you aearly full inside?" "Only one, sir; but he seems a real queer chap; made fifty in- quiries at the office if he could not have the whole inside to himself, nd when he heard that one place had been taken yours, I believe, sir he seemed like a scalded bear. ' ' " You don't know his name, then?" " No, sir, he never gave a name at the office, and his only luggage is two brown paper parcels, without any ticket, and he has them in- eide; indeed, he never*lets them from him even for a second." Here the guard's horn, announcing all ready, interrupted the col- loquy, and prevented my learning anything further of my fellow- traveler, whom, however, I at once set down in my own mind for some confounded old churl that made himself comfortable every- where, without ever thinking of any one else's convenience. As I passed from the inn door to the coach, I once more congrat- ulated myself that I was about to be housed from the terrific storm o wind and rain that railed without. HARRY LORREQUER, 111 *' Here's the step, sir," said the guard. " Get in, sir; two minutes iate already." " I beg your pardon, sir," said I, as I half fell over the legs of my unseen companion. " May I request leave to pass you?" While he made- way for me for this purpose, I perceived that he stooped down- toward the guard and said something who, from his answer, had evidently been questioned as to who 1 was. " And how did he get here, if he took his place in Dublin?" asked the unknown. " Came half an hour since, sir, in a chaise and four," said the guard, as lie banged the door behind him, and closed the interview. Whatever might have been the reasons for my fellow-traveler's anxiety about my name and occupation, I knew not, yet could not help feeling gratified at thinking that, as 1 had not given my name at the coach-office, I was as great a puzzle to him as he to me. "A severe night, sir," said I, endeavoring to break ground in conversation. " Mighty severe, " briefly and half crushingly replied the unknown with a richness of brogue that might have stood for a certificate of baptism in Cork or its vicinity. " And a bad road, too, sir," said I, remembering my lately accom- plished stage. '' That's the reason I always go armed," said the unknown, clink- ing at the same moment something like the barrel of a pistol. Wondering somewhat at his readiness to mistake my meaning, I felt disposed to drop any further effort to draw him out, and was about to address myself to sleep, as comfortably as I could. " I'll jist trouble ye to lean aff that little parcel there, sir," said he, as he displaced from its position beneath my elbow one of the paper packages the guard had already alluded to. In complying with this rather gruff demand, one of my pocket pistols, which I carried in my breast-pocket, fell out upon his knee, upon which he immediately started, and asked hurriedly " and are you armed too?" "Why, yes," said I, laughingly; "men of my trade seldom go without something of this kind." " Be gorra, I was just thinking that same," said the traveler, with a half sigh to himself. Why he should or should not have thought so, I never troubled myself to canvass, and was once more settling myself in my corner, when I was startled by a very melancholy groan, which seemed to come from the bottom of my companion's heart. " Are you ill, sir?" said I, in a voice of some anxiety. " You may say that," replied he " if you knew who you were talking to although maybe you've heard enough of me, though you never saw me till now." "Without having that pleasure even yet," said I, "it would grieve me to think you should be ill in the coach." " Maybe it might," briefly replied the unknown, with a species of meaning in his words I could not then understand. " Did ye never hear tell of Barney Doyle?" said he. " Not to my recollection." " Then I'm Barney," said he; " that's in all the newspapers in the metropolis; I'm seventeen weeks in Jervis-street hospital, and fourii? 112 HARRY LORREQUEE. the Lunatic, and the devil a better after all; you must be a stranger, I'm thinking, or you'd know me now." " Why I do confess, I've only been a few hours in Ireland for tha last six months." * " Ay, that's the reason; I knew you would not be fond of travel- ing with me, if you knew who it was." " Why, really," said I, beginning at the moment to fathom some of the hints of my companion, " I did not anticipate the pleasure of meeting you." " It's pleasure ye call it; then there's no accountin' for tastes, as Dr. Colics said, when he saw me bite Cusack Rooney's thumb off." " Bite a man's thumb off?" said I, in a horror. " Ay," said he, with a kind of fiendish animation, " in one chop. I wish you'd see how I scattered the consultation; begad they didn't wait to ax for a fee." Upon my soul, a very pleasant vicinity, thought I. " And may I ask, sir," said I, in a very mild and soothing tone of voice, " may I ask the reason for this singular propensity of yours?" " There it is now, my dear," said he, laying his hand upon my knee familiarly, "that's just the very thing they can't make out. Colles says, it's all the ceribellum, ye see, that's inflamed and com- busted, and some of the others think it's the spine; and more, the muscles ; but my real impression is, the devil a bit they know about Hat all." " And have they no name for the malady?" said I. "Oh, sure enough, they have a name for it." " And, may I ask " may " Why, I think you'd better not, because, ye see, maybe I might be troublesome to ye in the night, though I'll not if I can help it, and it might be uncomfortable to you to be here if I was to get one of the fits." " One of the fits. Why, it's not possible, sir," said I, " you would travel in a public conveyance in the state you mention ; your friends surely would not permit it?" " Why, if they knew, perhaps," slyly responded the interesting in valid, " if they knew, they might not exactly like it; but ye see 1 escaped only last night, and there'll be a fine hubbub in the morn- ing, when they find I'm off; though I'm thinking Rooney's barking away by this time." " Kooney barking! why, what does that mean?" " They always bark for a day or two after they're bit, if the in- fection comes first from the dog." " You are surely not speaking of hydrophobia," said I, my hair actually bristling with horror and consternation. " Ayn't I?" replied he; " maybe you've guessed it, though." " And have you the malady on you at present?" said I, trembling for the answer. " This is the ninth day since I took to biting," said he, gravely, perfectly unconscious, as it appeared, of the terror such information was calculated to convey. "And with such a propensity, sir, do you think yourself war- ranted in traveling in a public coach, exposing others " HARRY LORREQUEE. US "You'd better not raise your voice that way," quietly responded ner; " if I'm roused, it'll be worse for ye, that's all." " Well, but," said I, moderating my-zeal, " is it exactly prudent, fa your delicate state, to undertake a journey?" " Ah," said he, with a sigh, " I've been longing tc see the fox hounds throw off, near Kilkenny; these three weeks I've been thinking of nothing else; but I'm not sure how my nerves will stand the cry; I might be throublesome. " " Upon my soul," thought I, " I shall not select .that morning for my debut in the field. " ' I hope, sir, there's no river or water-course on this road any- thing else I can, I hope, control myself against; but water running water particularly makes me throublesome. " Well knowing what he meant by the latter phrase, I felt the cold perspiration settling on my forehead, as I remembered that we must be within about ten or twelve miles of Leighlin -bridge, where we should have to pass a very wide river. I strictly concealed this fact from him, however, and gave him to understand that there was not a well, brook or rivulet, for forty miles on either side of us. He now sunk into a kind of moody silence, broken occasionally by a low muttering noise, as if speaking to himself what this might portend, I knew not but thought it better, under all circumstances, not to disturb him. How comfortable my present condition was, I need scarcely remark sitting vis-d-vis to a lunatic, with a pair of pistols in his possession who had already avowed his consciousness of his tendency to do mischief, and his inability t6 master it; all this in the dark, and in the narrow limits of a mail-coach, where there wag scarcely room for defense, and no possibility of escape how heartily I wished myself back in the coffee-room at Morrison's, with my poor friend Tom the infernal chaise that I cursed a hundred times, would have been an " exchange," better than into the Life Guards ay, even the outside of the coach, if I could only reach it, would, under present circumstances, be a glorious alternative to my existing misfortune. What were rain and storm and thunder and lightning compared with the chances that awaited me here? wet through I hould inevitably be, but then I had not yet contracted the horror of moisture my friend opposite labored under. " Ha! what is that? is it possible he can be asleep; is it really a snore? Heaven grant that little snort be not what the medical people call a premonitory symp- tom if so, he'll be in upon me now in no time. Ah there it is again ; he must be asleep surely; now then is my time or never. " With these words muttered to myself, and a heart throbbing almost audi- bly at the risk of his awakening, I slowly let down the window of the coach, and stretching forth my hand, turned the handle cautiously and slowly; I next disengaged my legs, and by a long continuous effort of creeping which I had learned perfectly once, when prac- ticing to go as a boa constrictor to a fancy ball I withdrew myself from the seat and reached the step, when I muttered something very like a thanksgiving to Providence for my rescue. With little diffi- culty I now climbed up beside the guard, whose astonishment at my appearance was indeed considerable that any man should prefer the out to the inside of a coach in such a night was rather remarkable: but that the person so doing should be totally unprovided with a 114 HARRY LORREQUER. box- coat, or other similar protection, argued something so strange, that I doubt not, if he were to decide upon the applicability of the statute of lunacy to a traveler in the mail, the palm would certainly have been awarded to me, and not to my late companion. Well, on we rolled, and heavily as the rain poured down, so relieved did I feel at my change of position, that I soon fell fast asleep, and never woke till the coach was driving up Patrick-street. Whatever solace to my feelings reaching the outside of the coach might have been attended with at night, the pleasure I experienced on awaking, was really not unalloyed. More dead than alive I sat a mass of wet clothes, like nothing under heaven except it be that morsel of black and spongy wet cotton at the bottom of a school-boy's ink-bottle, saturated with rain, and the black dye of my coat. My hat, too, had contributed its. share of coloring matter, and several long black streaks coursed down my " wrinkled front " giving me very much the air of an Indian warrior, who had got the fiist priming of his war paint. 1 certainly must have been a rueful object, were I only to judge from the faces of the waiters as they gazed on me when the coach drew up at Rice & Walsh's hotel. Cold, wet and weary as I was, my curiosity to learn more of my late agreeable companion was strong as ever within me perhaps stronger, from the sacrifices his acquaintance had exacted from me. Before, however, I had disen- gaged myself from the pile of trunks and carpet-bags I had sur- rounded myself with he had got out of the coach, and all I could catch a glimpse of was the back of a little short man in a kind of gray upper coat, and long galligaskins on his legs. He earned his two bundles under his arm and stepped nimbly up the steps of the hotel, without ever turning his head to either side. " Don't fancy you shall escape me now, my good friend," I cried out, as I sprang from the roof tft the ground, with one jump, and hurried after the great unknown into the coffee-room. By the time I reached it he had approached the fire, on the table near which, having deposited the mysterious paper parcels, he was now busily engaged hi divesting himself of his great coat; his face was stili turned from me, so that I had time to appear employed in divesting myself of my wet drapery before he perceived me;* at last (ho coat was unbuttoned, the gaiters followed, and throwing them carelessly on a chair, he tucked up the skirts of his coat, and spreading himself comfortably a I'Anglaise before the fire, displayed to my wondering and stupefied gaze the pleasant features of Dr. Finucanc. "Why, Dr. Dr. Finucane," cried I; "is this possible! Were you then really the inside in the mail last night ?" " Devil a doubt of it, Mr. Lorrequer; and may I make bould to ask were you the outside?" " Then what, may I beg to know, did you mean by your damned story about Barney Doyle, and the hydrophobia, and Cusack Rooney's thumb eh?" " Oh, by the Lord," said Finucane, " this will be the death of me; and it was you that I drove outside in all the rain last night ! Oh, it will kill Father Malachi outright with laughing, when 1 tell him!" and he burst out into a fit of merriment that nearly induced me to break his head with the poker. " Am I to understand, then, Mr. Finucane, that this practical joke HARRY LORRBQUER. 115 of yours vvas contrived for my benefit, and for the purpose of hold- ing me up to the ridicule of your confounded acquaintances." " Nothing of the kind, upon my conscience," said Fin, drying his eyes, and endeavoring to look sorry and sentimental. " If I had only the least suspicion in life that it was you, upon my oath I'd not have had the hydrophobia at all, and to tell you the truth, you were not the only one frightened you alarmed me devilishly too." " I alarmed you! Why, how can that be?" " Why, the real affair is this: I was bringing these two packages of notes down to rny cousin Callaghan's bank in Cork fifteen thou- sand pounds devil a less ; and when you came into the coach at Naas, after driving there with your four horses, I thought it was all up with me. The guard just whispered in my ear that he saw you look at the priming of your pistols before getting in ; and faith I said four paters, and a hail Mary, before you'd count five. Well, when you got seated, the thought came into my mind that may be, highwayman as you were, you would not like dying a natural death, more particularly if you were an Irishman ; and so I trumped up that long story about the hydrophobia, and the gentleman's thumb, and devil knows what besides ; and while I was telling it, the cold per- spiration was running down my head and face, for every time you stirred, I said to myself, now he'll do it. Two or three times, do you know, I was going to offer you ten shillings in the pound, and spare my life ; and once, God forgive me, I thought it would not be a bad plan to shoot you by ' mistake,' do you perceave." " Why, upon my soul, I'm very much obliged to you for your ex- cessivel}' kind intentions; but really I feel you have done quite enough for me on the present occasion. But, come now, doctor, I must get to bed, and before I go, promise me two things to dine with us to-day at the mess, and not to mention a syllable of what occurred last night it tells, believe me, very badly for both; so, keep the secret, for if these confounded fellows of ours ever get hold of it, I may sell out, or quit the army; I'll never hear the end of it." " Never fear, my boy; trust me. I'll dine with you, and you're as safe as a church-mouse for anything I'll tell them; so, now you'd better change your clothes, for I'm thinking it rained last night." Muttering some very dubious blessings upon the learned Fin, I left the room, infinitely more chagrined, and chopfallen at the dis- covery I had made, than at all the misery and exposure the trick had consigned me to. " However," thought I, " if the doctor keeps his word, all goes well: the whole affair is between us both solely; but, should it not be so, I may shoot half the mess before the other half would give up quizzing me." Revolving such pleasant thoughts, I betook myself to bed, and what with mulled port, and a blazing fire, became once more conscious of being a warm-blooded animal, and fell sound asleep to dream of doctors, strait waistcoats, shaved heads, and all the pleasing associations my late companion's narrative so readily suggested. 116 HARRY LORREQUER. CHAPTER XV. MEMS. OF THE NORTH CORK. AT six o'clock I had the pleasure of presenting the worthy Dr. Finucane to our mess, taking at the same time an opportunity unob- served by him, to inform three or four of my brother officers that my friend was really a character, abounding in native drollery, and richer in good stories than even the generality of his countrymen. Nothing could possibly go on better than the early part of the evening. Fin, true to his promise, never once alluded to what I could plainly perceive was ever uppermost in his mind, and what with his fund of humor, quaintness of expression, and quickness at reply, garnished throughout by his most mellifluous brogue, the true " Bocca Corkana," kept us from one roar of laughter to another. It was just at the moment in which his spirits seemed at their highest, that I had the misfortune to call upon him for a story, which his cousin Father Malachi had alluded to on the ever-memorable even- ing at his house, and which I had a great desire to hear from Fin's own lips. He seemed disposed to escape telling it, and upon my continuing to press my request, dryly remarked ; " You forget, surely, my dear Mr. Lorrequer, the weak condition I'm in; and these gentlemen here, they don't know what a severe illness I've been laboring under lately, or they would not pass the decanter so freely down this quarter." I had barely time to throw a mingled look of entreaty and menace across the table, when half a dozen others rightly judging from the doctor's tone and serio-comic expression, that his malady had many more symptoms of fun than suffering about it, called out together: " Oh, doctor, by all means, tell us the nature of your late attack; pray relate it." "With Mr. Lorrequer's permission, I'm your slave, gentlemen," said Fin, finishing oil' his glasss. " Oh, as for me," I cried, " Dr. Finucane has my full permission to detail whatever he pleases to think a fit subject for your amuse- ment." " Come, then, doctor, Harry has no objection, you see; so out with it; and we are all prepared to sympathize with your woes and mis- fortunes, whatever they be." " Well, I am sure I never could think of mentioning it without his leave; but now that he sees no objection Eh, do you, though? if so, then, don't be winking and making faces at me; but say the word, and devil a syllable of it I'll tell to man or mortal." The latter part of this delectable speech was addressed to me across the table, hi a species of singe whisper, in reply to some telegraphic signals I had been throwing him, to induce him to turn the conver- sation into any other channel. "Then, that's enough," continued he, sotto toce " I see you'd rather I'd not tell it." " Tell it and be d d," said I, wearied by the incorrigible per- HARRY LORREQUEE. 117 tinacity with which the villain assailed me. My most unexpected energy threw the whole table into a roar, at the conclusion of which Fin began his narrative of the mail-coach adventure. I need not tell my reader, who has followed me throughout in these my Confession, that such a story lost nothing of its absurdity when intrusted to the doctor's power of narration; he dwelt with a poet's feeling upon the description of his own sufferings, and my sincere condolence and commiseration ; he touched with the utmost delicacy upon the distant hints by which he broke the news to me ; but when he came to describe my open and undisguised terror, and my secret and precipitate retreat to the roof of the coach, there was not a man at the table that was not convulsed with laughter and shall I acknowledge it, even I myself was unable to withstand the effect, and joined in the general chorus against myself. " Well," said the remorseless wretch, as he finished his story, " if ye haven't the hard hearts to laugh at such a melancholy subject ! May be, however, you are not so cruel after all here's a toast for you, 'a speedy recovery to Cusack Rooney.' ' This was drank amid renewed peals, with all the honors ; and I had abundant tune before the uproar was over, to wish every man of them hanged. It was to no purpose that I endeavored to turn the tables, by describing Fin's terror at my supposed resemblance to a highwayman his story had the precedence, and I met nothing during my recital but sly allusions to mad dogs, muzzles, and doctors; and contemptible puns were let off on every side at my expense. " It's little shame I take to myself for the mistake, anyhow," said Fin, " for, putting the darkness of the night out of the question, I'm not so sure I would not have ugly suspicions of you by day- light." " And besides, doctor," added I, "it would not be your first blunder in the dark." " True for you, Mr. Lorrequer," said he, good-humoredly; " and now that I have told them your story, I don't care if they hear mine, though may be some of ye have heard it already it's pretty well known in the North Cork." We all gave our disclaimers on this point, and having ordered in a fresh cooper of port, disposed ourselves in our most easy attitudes, while the doctor proceeded as follows : " It was in the hard winter of the year '99 that we were quartered in Maynooth, as many said for our sins fora more stupid place, the Lord be merciful to it, never were men coademned to. The peo- ple at the college were much better off than us they had whatever was to be got in the country, and never were disturbed by mounting guard, or night patrols. Many of the professors were good fellows, that liked grog fully us well as Greek, and understood short whist, and five and ten quite as iniimately as they knew the vulgate, or the confessions of St. Augustine they made no ostentatious display of their pious zeal, but whenever they were not fasting or praying, or something of that kind, they were always pleasant and agreeable; and to do them justice, never refused, by any chance, an invitation to dinner no matter at what inconvenience. Well, even this little solace in our affliction we soon lost, by an unfortunate mistake of that Orange rogue of the world, Major Jones, that gave a wrong 118 HARRY LORREQUER. pass one night Mr. Lorrequer knows the story (here he alluded to an adventure detailed in an early chapter of my Confession), and from that day forward we never saw the pleasant faces of the Abbe D'Array, or the Professor of the Humanities, at the mess. Well, the only thing I could do, was just to take an opportunity to drop in at the College hi the evening, where we had a quiet rubber of whist, and a little social and intellectual conversation, with may be an oyster and a glass of punch, just to season the thing, before we separated; all done discreetly and quietly no shouting iior even singing, for the ' superior ' had a prejudice about profane songs. Well, one of those nights, it was about the first week in February, I was detained by stress of weather from eleven o'clock, when we usually bade good night, to past twelve, and then to one o'clock, waiting for a dry moment to get home to the barracks a good mile and a half off. Every time old Father Mahoney went to look at the weather, he came back saying, ' It's worse it's getting; such a night of rain, glory be to God, never was seen. ' So there was no good in going out to be drenched to the skin, and I sat quietly waiting, taking between times a little punch, just not to seem impatient, nor distress their rev'rances. At last it struck two, and I thought ' well, the decanter is empty now and I think, if I mean to walk, I've taken enough for the present;' so wishing them all manner of happiness and pleasant dreams I stumbled my way down stairs, and set out on my journey. I was always in the habit of taking a short cut on my way home, across the ' gurt na brocha,' the priest's meadows, as they call them; it saved nearly a half a mile, although on the present occasion it ex- posed one wof ully to the rain, for there was nothing to shelter under the entire way, not even a tree. Well, out I set in a half trot, for I stayed so late I was pressed for time ; besides I felt it easier to run than walk ; I'm sure I can't tell why; may be the drop of drink I took got into my head. Well, I was just joggin' on across the common, the rain beating hard in my face, and my clothes pasted to me with the wet, notwithstanding I was singing to myself a verse of an old song to lighten the road, when 1 heard suddenly a noise near me, like a man sneezing. I stopped and listened in fact it was impossible to see your hand, the night was so dark but I could hear nothing; the thought then came over me, may be it's something ' not good,' for there were veiy ugly stories going about what the priests used to do formerly in these meadows; and bones were often found in differ ent parts of them. Just as I was thinking this, another voice came nearer than the last; it might be only a sneeze, after all; but in real earnest it was mighty like a groan. ' The Lord be about us, ' I said to myself, ' what's this? have ye the pass?' I cried out ' have ye the pass? or what brings ye walking here in nomine patri?' for I was 80 confused whether it was a ' sperit ' or not, I was going to address him in Latin there's nothing equal to the dead languages to lay a ghost everybody knows. Faith the moment I said these words he gave another groan, deeper and more melancholy like than before. ' If it's uneasy ye are,' says I, ' for any neglect of your f riends, ' f or I thought he might be in purgatory longer than he thought convenient, HARRY LORREQUER. 119 than you should fret yourself this way. ' The words were not well out of my mouth when he came so near me that the sigh he gave went through both my ears. ' The Lord be merciful to me,' said I, trembling. ' Amen,' says he, ' whether you 're joking or not.' The moment he said that my mind was relieved, for I knew it was not a spirit, and 1 began to laugh heartily at my mistake. ' And who are ye at all,' said I, ' that's roving about at this hour of the night? Ye can't be Father Luke, for I left himself asleep on the carpet before I quitted the college, and faith, my friend, if you hadn't the taste for devarsion, ye would not be out now. ' He coughed then so hard that I could not make out well what he said, but just perceived that he had lost his way on to the common, and was a little disguised in liquor. ' It's a good man's case,' said I, ' to take a little too much, though it's what I don't do myself; so, take hold of my hand and I'll see you safe. ' I stretched out my hand, and got him, not by the arm, as I hoped, but by the hair of the head, for he was] all dripping with wet, and had lost his hat. ' Well, you'll not be better of this night's excursion,' thought I, ' if ye are liable to the rheumatism; and now, where about do you live, my friend? for I'll see you safe before I leave you. ' What he said then I never could make out, for the wind and rain were beating so hard against my face that I could not hear a vrord; however, I was able just to perceive that he was veiy much disguised in drink, and spoke rather thick. ' Well, never mind, said I, ' it's not a time of day for much conversation; so come along; and I'll see you safe to the guard-house, if you can't remem- ber your own place of abode in the meanwhile. ' It was just at the moment I said this that 1 first discovered he was not a gentleman. Well, now you'd never guess how I did it; and, faith I always thought it a very cute thing of me, and both of us in the dark." " Well, I realty confess it must have been a very difficult thing, under the circumstances; pray how did you contrive?" said the major. " Just guess how." " By the tone of his voice, perhaps, and his accent," said Curzon. " Devil a bit, for he spoke remarkably well, considering how far gone he was in liquor." " Well, probably by the touch of his hand; no bad test." ' ' No ; you're wrong again, for it was by the hair I had a hold of him for fear of falling, for he was always stooping down. Well, you'd never guess it; it was just by the touch of his foot." " His foot! Why, how did that give you any information?" " There it is, now; that's just what only an Irishman would ever have made anything. out of; for, while he was stumbling about, he happened to tread upon my toes, and never since I was born did I feel anything like the weight of him. ' Well,' said I, ' the loss of your hat may give you a cold, my friend; but upon my conscience you are in no danger of wet feet with such a pair of strong brogues as you have on you.' Well, he laughed at that till I thought he'd split his sides; and, in good truth, I could not help joining in the fun, although my foot was smarting like mad; and so we jogged along through the rain, enjoying UK- joke just as if we were sitting by a good fire, with a jorum of punch between us. I am sure I can't tell you how often we fell that night, but my clothes the next mom- 120 HARRY LORREQUER. ing were absolutely covered with mud, and my hat crushed in two; for he was so confoundedly drunk it was impossible to keep him up, and he always kept boring along with his head down, so that my heart was almost broke in keeping him upon his legs. I'm sure I never had a more fatiguing march in the whole Peninsula than that blessed mile and a half; but every misfortune has an end at last, and it was four o'clock, striking by the college clock, as we reached the barracks. After knocking a couple of times, and giving the counter- sign, the sentry opened the small wicket, and my heart actually leaped with joy that I had done with my friend; so I just called out the sergeant of the guard, and said, ' Will you put that poor fellow on the guard-bed till morning? for I found him on the common, and he could neither find his way home nor tell me where he lived.' ' And where is he?' said the sergeant. ' He's outside the gate there,' said I, ' wet to the skin, and shaking as if he had the ague. ' ' And is this him?' said the sergeant, as he went outside. ' It is,' said I, ' may be you know him?' ' May be I've a guess,' said he, bursting into a fit of laughing that I thought he'd choke with. ' Well, ser- geant,' said I, 'I always took you for a humane man; but if that's the wav you treat a fellow- creature in distress.' 'A fellow-creat- ure,' said he, laughing louder than before. ' Ay, a fellow-creature,' said I for the sergeant was an Orangeman ' and if he differs from you in matters of religion, sure he's your fellow-creature still.' ' Troth, doctor, I think there's another trifling difference betune us,' said he. ' Damn your politics,' said I, ' never let them interfere with true humanity.' Wasn't I right, major? ' Take good care of him and here's half a crown for ye. ' So saying these words, I steered along by the barrack wall, and, after a little groping about, got up stairs to my quarters, when, thanks to a naturally good constitution, and regular habits of life, I soon fell fast asleep." When the doctor had said thus much, he pushed his chair slightly from the table, and, taking off his wine, looked about him with the composure of a man who has brought his tale to a termination. " Well, but doctor," said the major, "you are surely not done. You have not yet told us who your interest ing friend turned out to be." " That's the very thing, then, I'm not able to do." " But, of course," said another, " your story does not end there." "And where the devil would you have it end?" repliedhe. "Didn't I bring my hero home, and go asleep afterward myself, and then, with virtue rewarded, how could I finish it better?" ' "Oh, of course; but still you have not accounted for a principal character in the narrative," said I. " Exactly so," said Curzon. " We were all expecting some splen- did catastrophe in the morning; that your companion turned out to be the Duke of Leinster, at least or perhaps a rebel general, with an immense price upon his head." " Neither the one nor the other," said Fin, dryly. " And do you mean to say there never was any clew to the discov- ery of him?" " The entire affair is wrapped in mystery to this hour," said he. " There was a joke about it, to be sure, among the officers; but the North Cork never wanted something to laugh at." HARRY LORREQUER. 121 " And what was the joke?" said several voices together. " Just a complaint from old Mickey Oulahan, the postmaster, to the colonel in the morning, that some of the officers took away his blind mare off the common, and that the letters were late in conse- quence." " And so, doctor," called out seven or eight, " your friend turned out to be " " Upon my conscience they said so, and that rascal, the sergeant, would take his oath of it; but my own impression I'll never disclose to the hour of my death." CHAPTER XVI. ' THEATBICALS. OTJK seance at the mess that night was a late one, for after we had discussed some coopers of claret, there was a very general public feeling in favor of a broiled bone and some deviled kidneys, fol- lowed by a very ample bowl of bishop, over which simple condi- ments we talked " green-room " till near the break of day. From having been so long away from the corps I had much to learn of their doings and intentions to do, and heard with much pleasure that they possessed an exceedingly handsome theater, well stocked with scenery, dresses, and decorations; that they were at the pinnacle of public estimation, from what they had already ac- complished, and calculated on the result of my appearance to crown them with honor. I had indeed very little choice left me in the matter; for not only had they booked me for a particular part, but bills were already in circulation, and sundry little three-cornered notes enveloping them were sent to the elite of the surrounding country, setting forth that " on Friday evening the committee of the garrison theatricals, intending to perform a dress rehearsal of the 'Family Party,' request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. 's company on the occasion. Mr. Lorrequerwill undertake the part of Captain Beaugarde. Supper at twelve. An answer will oblige. " The sight of one of these pleasant little epistles of which the foregoing is a true copy was presented to me as a great favor that evening, it having been agreed upon that I was to know nothing of their high and mighty resolves till the following morning. It was to little purpose that I assured them all, collectively and individually, that of Captain Beaugarde I absolutely knew nothing had never ri'.-id the piece nor even seen it performed. I felt, too, that my last appearance in character in a " Family Party " was anything but suc- cessful ; and I trembled lest, in the discussion of the subject, some confounded allusion to my adventure at Cheltenham might come out. Happily they seemed all ignorant of this; and fearing to bring con- versation in any way to the matter of my late travels, I fell in with their humor, and agreed if it were possible, in the limited time al- lowed me to manage it I had but four days I should undertake the character. My concurrence failed to give the full satisfaction I had expected, and they so habitually did what they pleased with me, that, like all men so disposed, I never got the credit for concession which a man more niggardly of his service* may always command. 122 HARRY LORREQUER. " To be sure you will do it, Harry," said the major; " why not? I could learn the thing myself in a couple of hours, as for that." Now, be it known that the aforesaid major was so incorrigibly slow of study, and dull of comprehension, that he had been succes- sively degraded at our theatrical board from the delivering of a stage message to the office of a check-taker. " He's so devilish good in the love-scene," said the junior ensign, with the white eye-brows. " I say, Curzon, you'll be confoundedly jealous though, for he is to play with Fanny." " I rather think not," said Curzon, who was a little tipsy. "Oh, yes," said Frazer. " Hepton is right. Lorrequer has Fanny for his ' Frou,' and upon my soul, I should feel tempted to take the part myself upon the same terms ; though I verily believe I should forget I was acting, and make fierce love to her on the stage." And who may la charmante Fanny be?" said I, with something of the air of the " Dey of Algiers " in my tone. "Let Curzon tell him," said several voices together; " he is the only man to do justice to such perfection." " Quiz away, my merry men," said Curzon; "all I know is, that you are a confoundedly envious set of fellows ; and if so lovely a girl had thrown her eyes on one amongst you " "Hip! hip! hurrah!" said old Fitzgerald; "Curzon is a gone man. He'll be off to the palace for a license some fine morning, or I know nothing of such matters." " Well, Bat, v> said I, " if matters are really as you all say, why does not Curzon take the part you destine for me?" "We dare not trust him," said the major. "Lord bless you, when the call-boy would sing out for Captain Beaugarde in the sec- ond act, we'd find that he had levanted with our best slashed trou- sers, and a bird of paradise feather in his cap. : ' " Well," thought I, " this is better at least than I anticipated, for if nothing else offers, I shall have rare fun teasing my friend Charley " for it was evident that he had been caught by the lady in question. " And so you'll stay with us; give me your hand you are a real trump." These words, which proceeded from a voice at the lower end of the table, were addressed to my friend Finucane. "I'll stay with ye, upon my conscience," said Fin; " ye have a most seductive way about ye; and a very superior taste in milk punch." "But, doctor," said I, "you must not be a drone in the hive; what will ye do for us? You should be a capital Sir Lucius O 'Trig- ger,- if we could get up the Rivals." ' ' My forte is the drum the big drum ; put me among what the Greeks call the ' Mousikoi,' and I'll astonish ye." It was at once agreed that Fin should foHow the bent of his genius; and after some other arrangements for the rest of the party we separated for the night, having previously toasted the " Fanny," to which Curzon attempted to reply, but sank, overpowered by punch and feelings, and looked unutterable things, without the power to frame a sentence. During the time which intervened between the dinner and the HARRY LORREQUER. 123 night appointed for our rehearsal, I had more business upon my hands than a Chancellor of the Exchequer the week of the budget being produced. The whole management of every department fell, as usual, to my share, and all those who, previously to my arrival, had contributed their quota of labor, did nothing whatever now bud to lounge about the stage, or sit half the day in the orchestra, listen- ing to some confounded story of Finucane's, who contrived to have an everlasting mob of actors, scene-painters, fiddlers and call-boys always about him, who, from their uproarious mirth, and repeated shouts of merriment, nearly drove me distracted, as I stood almost alone and unassisted in the whole management. Of la belle Fanny, all I learned was, that she was a professional actress of very consid- erable talent, and extremely pretty; that Curzon had fallen desper- ately in love with her the only night she had appeared on the boards there ; and that, to avoid his absurd persecution of her, she had de- termined not to come into town until the morning of the rehearsal, she being at that time on a visit to the house of a country gentleman in the neighborhood. Here was a new difficulty I had to contend with to go through my part alone was out of the question to mak- ing it effective; and I felt so worried and harassed that I often fairly resolved on taking the wings of the mail, and flying away to the uttermost parts of the south of Ireland, till all was still and tranquil again. By degrees, however, I got matters into better train, and by getting over our rehearsal early before Fin appeared, as he usually slept somewhat later after his night at mess, I managed to have things in something like order; he and his confounded drum, which, whenever he was not story-telling, he was sure to be practicing on, being in fact, the greatest difficulties opposed to my managerial func- tions. One property he possessed, so totally at variance with all habits of order, that it completely baffled me. So numerous were his narratives, that no occasion could possibly arise, no chance ex- pression be let fall on the stage, but Fin had something he deemed apropos, and which, sans faqon, he at once related for the benefit of all whom it might concern; that was usually the entire corps dramatique, who eagerly turned from stage directions and group- ings, to laugh at his ridiculous jests. I shall give an instance of this habit of interruption, and let the unhappy wight who has filled suck an office as mine pity my woes. I was standing one morning on the stage drilling my " corps," as usual. One most refractory spirit, to whom but a few words Avere intrusted, and who bungled even those, I was endeavoring to train into something like his part. " Come now, Elsmore, try it again just so. Yes, come forward in this manner take her hand tenderly press it to your lips ; re- treat toward the flat, and then bowing deferentially thus say, ' Good -night, good-night' that's very simple, eh? Well, now, that's all you have to do, and that brings you over here so you make your exit at once." " Exactly so, Mr. Elsmore, always contrive to be near the door under such circumstances. That was the way with my poor friend, Curran. Poor Phil pot, when he dined with the Guild of Merchant Tailors, they gave him a gold box with their arms upon it a goose proper, with needles saltier wise, or something of that kind; and 124 HARRY LORREQUER. they made him free of their ' ancient and loyal corporation,' and gave him a very grand dinner. Well, Curran was mighty pleasant and agreeable and kept them laughing all night, till the moment he arose to go away, and then he told them that he never spent so happy an evening, and all that. ' But, gentlemen,' said he, business has its calls, I must tear myself away; so wishing you now' there were just eighteen of them ' wishing you 'now every happiness and prosperity, permit me to take my leave ' and here he stole near the door ' to take my leave and bid you both good- night.' >: With a running fire of such stories, it may be supposed how difficult was my task in getting anything done upon the stage. Well, at last the long-expected Friday arrived, and I arose in the morning with all that peculiar tourbillion of spirits thai a man feels when he is half pleased and whole frightened with the labor before him. I had scarcely accomplished dressing when a servant tapped at my door, and begged to know if I could spare a few moments to speak to Miss Ersler, who was hi the drawing-room. I replied, of course, in the affirmative, and rightly conjecturing that my fair friend must be the lovely Fanny already alluded to, followed the servant down stairs. "Mr. Lorrequer," said the servant, and closing the door behind me, left me in sole possession of the lady. " Will you do me the favor to sit here, Mr. Lorrequer," said one of the sweetest voices in the world, as she made room for me on the sofa beside her. " I am particularly short-sighted; so pray sit near me, as I really cannot talk to any one I don't see." I blundered out some platitude of a compliment to her eyes the fullest and most lovely blue that ever man gazed into at which she smiled as if pleased, and continued, ' ' Now, Mr. Lorrequer, I have really been longing for your coming; for your friends of the 4-th are doubtless very dashing, spirited young gentlemen, perfectly versed in war's alarms; but pardon me if I say that a more wretched company of strolling wretches never graced a barn. Now, come, don't be angry; but let me proceed. Like all amateur people, they have the happy knack in distributing the characters, to put every man in his most unsuitable position, and then that poor, dear thing, Curzon I hope he's not a friend of yours by some dire fatality, always plays the lover's parts, ha! ha! ha! True, I assure you, so that if you had not been announced as coming this week, I should have left them and gone on to Bath." Here she rose and adjusted her brown ringlets at the glass, giving me ample time to admire one of the most perfect figures I ever be- held. She was most becomingly dressed, and betrayed a foot and ankle whicn, for symmetry and " chassures," might have challenged the Rue Ilivoli itself to match it. My first thought was poor Curzon ; my second, happy and thrice fortunate Harry Lorrequer. There was no time, however, for in- dulgence hi such veiy pardonable gratulation ; so I at once pro- ceeded " pourfaire I'aimable," to profess my utter inability to do justice to her undoubted talents, but slj-ly added, that in the love- making part of the matter she should never be able to discover that I was not in earnest. We then chatted gayly for upward of an hour, until the arrival of her friend's carriage was announced, when ten- HABRT LORREQUER. 125 tiering me most graciously her hand, she smiled benignly, and say- ing, " au rewir done," drove off. As I stood upon the steps of the hotel, viewing her " out of the visible horizon," I was joined by Curzon, who evidently, from his self -satisfied air, and jaunty gait, little knew how he stood in the fair Fanny's estimation. " Very pretty, very pretty indeed, deeper and deeper still," cried he, alluding to my most courteous salutation as the carriage rounded the comer, and its lovely occupant kissed her hand once more. " I say, Harry, my friend, you don't think that was meant for you, I should hope?" " What! the kiss of the hand? Yes, faith, but I do." " Well, certainly, that is good! why, man, she just saw me com- ing up that instant. She and I we understand each other never mind, don't be cross no fault of yours, you know." " Ah, so she is taken with you," said I. " Eh, Charley?" " Why, I believe that I may confess to you the real state of mat- ters. She was devilishly struck with me the first time we rehearsed together. We soon got up a little flirtation ; but the other night when I played Mirabel to her, it finished the affair. She was quite nerv- ous, and could scarcely go through with her part. I saw it, and upon my soul I am sorry for it; she's a prodigiously fine girl such lips and such teeth! Egad, I was delighted when you came; for, {ou see, I was in a manner, obliged to take one line of character, and saw pretty plainly where it must end ; and you know with you it's quite different, she'll laugh and chat, and all that sort of thing, but she'll not be carried away by her feelings; you understand me?" " Oh, perfectly: it's quite different as you observed." If I had not been supported internally during this short dialogue by the recently expressed opinion of the dear Fanny herself upon. Toy friend Curzon's merits, I think I should have been tempted to take the liberty of wringing his neck off. However, the affair was much better as it stood, as I had only to wait a little with proper patience, and I had no fears but that my friend Charley would be- come the hero of a veiy pretty episode for the mess. " So I suppose you must feel'considerably bored by this kind of thing," I said, endeavoring to draw him out. "Why, I do," replied he, "and I do not. The girl is very pretty. The place is dull in the morning; and altogether it helps to fill up time." " Well," said I, " you are always fortunate, Curzon. You have ever your share of what floating luck the world affords." " 1 1 is not exactly all luck, my dear friend; for, as I shall explain to you " " Not now," replied I, " for Ihave notyet breakfasted." So say- ing, I turned into the coffee-room, leaving the worthy adjutant to revel in his fancied conquest, and pity such unfortunates as myself. After an early dinner at the club-house, I hastened down to the theater, where numerous preparations for the night were going for- ward. The green-room was devoted to the office of a supper-room, to which the audience had been invited. The dressing-rooms were many of them filled with the viands destined for the entertainment. Where, among the wooden fowls and " impracticable " flagons, 126 HARRY LORREQUER. were to be seen very imposing pasties and flasks of champagne, Ut- tered together in the most admirable disorder. The confusion nat- urally incidental to all private theatricals, was tenfold increased by the circumstances of our projected supper. Cooks and scene-shift- ers, fiddlers and waiters, were most inextricably mingled; and, as in all similar cases, the least important functionaries took the greatest airs upon them, and appropriated without hesitation whatever came to their hands thus the cook would not have scrupled to light a fire with the violoncello of the orchestra; and I actually caught one of the "gens de cuisine " making a " souffle " in a brass helmet I had once worn when astonishing the world as Coriolanus. Six o'clock struck. In another short hour and we begin, thought I, with a sinking heart, as I looked upon the littered stage crowded with hosts of fellows that had nothing to do there. Figaro himself never wished for ubiquity more than 1 did, as I hastened from place to place, entreating, cursing, begging, scolding, execrating, and im- ploring by turns. To mend the matter, the devils in the orchestra had begun to tune their instruments, and I had to bawl like a boat- swain of a man-of-war to be heard by the person beside me. As seven o'clock struck I peeped through the small aperture in the curtain, and saw, to my satisfaction, mingled, I confess, with fear, that the house was nearly filled the lower tier of boxes entirely so. There were a great many ladies handsomely dressed, chatting gayly with their chaperons, and I recognized some of my acquaintances on every side; in fact, there was scarcely a family of rank in the county that had not at least some members of it present. As the orchestra struck up the overture to Don Giovanni, I retired from my place to inspect the arrangements beliind. Before the performance of the " Family Party " we were to have a little one- act piece called " A day in Madrid," written by myself the principal characters being expressly composed for " Miss Ersler and Mr. Lorrequer." The story of this trifle it is not necessary to allude to; indeed, if it were, I should scarcely have patience to do so, so connected is my recollection of it with the distressing incident which followed. In the first scene of the piece, the curtain rising displays la belle Fanny sitting at her embroidery in the midst of a beautiful garden, surrounded with statues, fountains, &c. ; at the back is seen a pavilion in the ancient Moorish style of architecture, over which hang the branches of some large and shady trees; she comes forward, express- ing her impatience at the delay of her lover, whose absence she tort- ures herself to account for by a hundred different suppositions, and after a very sufficient expose of her feelings, and some little explana- tory details of her private history, conveying a very clear intimation of her own amiability, and her guardian's cruelty, she proceeds, after the fashion of other young ladies similarly situated, to give utterance to her feelings by a song; after, therefore, a suitable prelude from the orchestra, for which, considering the impassioned state of her mind, she waits patiently, she comes forward and begins a melody: " 0, why is he far from the heart that adores him?" In which, for two verses, she proceeds with sundry solfeggios, to account for the circumstances, and show her own disbelief of the ex- HARRY LORREQITER. 12? planation in a very satisfactory manner. Meanwhile, for I must not expose my reader to an anxiety on my account, similar to what the dear Fanny here labored under, I was making the necessary prepa- rations for flying to her presence, and clasping her to my heart that is to say, I had already gummed on a pair of mustaches, had corked and arched a pair of ferocious eyebrows, which, with my rouged cheeks, gave me a look half Whiskerando, half Grimaldi ; these operations were performed, from the stress of circumstances, sufficiently near the ob- ject of my ait'ections, to afford me the pleasing satisfaction of hearing, from her own sweet lips, her solicitude about me. In a word, all the dressing-rooms but two were filled with hampers of provisions, glass, china, and crockery, and from absolute necessity, I had no other spot where I could attire myself unseen, except in the iden- tical pavilion already alluded to. Here, however, I was quite secure, and had abundant time also, for I was not to appear till scene the second, when I was to come forward in full Spanish costume, " every inch a Hidalgo." Meantime, Fanny had been singing " O, why is he far," &c., &c. At the conclusion of the last verse, just as she repeats the words " why, why, why," in a very distracted and melting cadence, a voice behind her startles her. She turns and beholds her guardian so at least runs the course of events in the real drama that it should fol- low thus now, however, " Diis aliter visum," for just as she came to the very moving apostrophe alluded to, and called out, " why comes he not?" a gruff voice from behind answered in a strong Cork brogue " ah! would you have him come in a state of nature?" At the "instant a loud whistle rang through the house, and the pavilion scene slowly drew up, discovering me, Harry Lorrequer, seated on a small stool before a cracked looking glass, my only habiliment, as I am an honest man, being a pair of long white silk stockings, and a very richly embroidered shirt wjth point lace collar. The shouts of laughter are yet in my ears; the loud roar of inextinguishable mirth which, after the first brief pause of astonishment gave way, shook the entire building. My recollection may well have been confused at such a moment of unutterable shame and misery ; yet, I clearly remember seeing Fanny, the sweet Fanny herself fall into an arm chair nearly suffocated with convulsions of laughter. I cannot go on; what I did I know not. I suppose my exit was additionally ludi- crous, for a new eclat de rite followed me out. I rushed out of the theater, and wrapping only my cloak round me, ran without stopping to the barracks. But I must cease; these are woes too sacred for even confessions like mine, so let me close the curtain of my room and my chapter together, and say adieu for a season. CHAPTER XVIL ' THE WAGER. IT might have been about six weeks after the events detailed in jiiy last chapter had occurred, that Curzon broke suddenly into :ny room one morning before I had arisen, and throwing a precau- tionary glance around, as if to assure himself that we were alone, 128 HARRY LORREQUER. seized my hand with a most unusual earnestness, and steadfastly looking at me, said: " Harry Lorrequer, will you stand by me?" So sudden and unexpected was his appearance at the moment, that I really felt but half awake, and kept puzzling myself for an ex- planation to the scene, rather than thinking of a reply to his ques- lon ; perceiving which, and arguing but badly from my silence, he continued: " Am I then, really deceived in what I believe to be an old and true friend?" " Why, what the devil's the matter?" I cried out. " If you are in a scrape, why of course you know I'm your man; but still, it's only fair to let one know something of the matter in the meanwhile. " " In a scrape," said he, with a long drawn sigh, intended to beat the whole Minerva press in its romantic cadence. " Well, but get on a bit," said I, rather impatiently; " who is the fellow you've got the row with? Not one of ours, I trust?" " Ah, my dear Hal," said he, in the same melting tone as before, " how j-our imagination does run upon rows, and broils, and dueling rencontres," (he, the speaker, be it known to the reader, was the fire- eater of the regiment), " as if life had nothing better to offer than the excitement of a challenge, or the mock heroism of a meeting." As he made a dead pause here, after which he showed no dispo- sition to continue, I merely added : " Well, at this rate of proceeding we shall get at the matter in hand, on our way out to Corfu, for I hear we are the next regiment for the Mediterranean. " The observation seemed to have some effect in rousing him from his lethargy, and he added: " If you only knew the nature of the attachment, and how com- pletely all my future hopes are concerned upon the issue " " Ho!" said I, " so it's a money affair, is it? and is it old Watson has issued the writ? I'll bet a hundred." "Well, upon my soul, Lorrequer," said he, jumping from his chair, and speaking with more energy than he had before evinced, " you are, without exception, the most worldly-minded, cold-blooded fellow I ever met. What have I said that could have led you to suppose I had either a duel or a law-suit upon my hands this morn- ing? Learn, once and for all, man, that I am in love desperately and over head and ears in love." ' Et puts?" said I, coolly. ' And intend to marry immediately." ' Oh, very well," said I, " the fighting and debt will come later; that's all. But to return now for the lady." ' Come, you must make a guess." 'Why, then, I really must confess my utter inability; for your attentions have been so generally and impartially distributed since our arrival here that it may be any fair one, from your venerable partner at whist last evening to Mrs. Henderson, the pastry-cooks in- clusive, for whose macaroni and cherry-brandy your feelings have been as warm as they are constant." " Come, no more quizzing, Hal. You surely must have remarked that lovely girl I waltzed with at Power's ball on Tuesday last." HARRY LORREQUER. 129 " Lovely girl! Why, in all seriousness, you don't mean the small woman with the tow wig." " No, I do not mean any such thing but a beautiful creature with dhe brightest locks in Christendom the very light brown waving ringlets Dominicheno loved to paint, and a foot did you see her foot?" "No; that was rather difficult, for she kept continually bobbing up and down, like a boy's cork-float in a fish-pond." " Stop there. I shall not permit this any longer I came not here to listen to " But, Curzon, my boy, you're not angry?" Yes, sir, I am angry." Why, surely, you have not been serious all this tune?" And why not, pray?" Oh! 1 don't exactly know that is, faith I scarcely thought you were in earnest, for if I did, of course I should honestly have con- fessed to you that the lady in question struck me as one of the hand- somest persons I ever met." " You think so, really, Hal?" " Certainly I do, and the opinion is not mine alone; she is, in fact, universally admired." " Come, Harry, excuse my bad temper. I ought to have known you better give me your hand, old boy, and wish me joy, for with you aiding and abetting she is mine to-morrow morning." I wrung his hand heartily congratulating myself, meanwhile, how happily I had got out of my scrape ; as I now, for the first time, perceived that Curzon was bona fide in earnest. " So, you will stand by me, Hal?" said he. " Of course. Only show me how, and 1 am perfectly at your serv- ice. Anything from riding postilion on the leaders to officiating as bridemaid, and I am your man. And if you are in want of such a functionary, I shall stand in loco parentis to the lady, and give her away with as much onction and tenderness as though I had as many marriageable daughters as King Priam himself. It is with me in marriage as in duelling I'll be anything rather than a principal; and I have long since disapproved of either method as a .means of ' obtaining satisfaction. ' ' " Ah, Many, I shall not be discouraged by your sneers. You've been rather unlucky, I'm aware; but now to return. Your office, on this occasion, is an exceeding simple one, and yet that which I could only confide to one as much my friend as yourself. You must carry my dearest Louisa off." ' ' Carry her off ? Where ? when ? how ? ' ' " All that I have already arranged, as you shall hear." " Yes. But first of all please to explain why, if going to run away with the lady, you don't accompany her yourself?" " Ah! I knew you would say that ; I could have laid a wager you'd ask that question, for it is just that very explanation will show all the native delicacy and feminine propriety of my darling Loo; and first, I must tell you, that old Sir Alfred Jonson, her father, has some con- founded prejudice against the army, and never would consent to her marriage with a red-roat so thnt, his consent being out of the question, our only resource is an elopement. 130 HARRY LORREQUER. " Louisa consents to this, but only upon one condition and thi she insists upon so firmly I had almost said obstinately that, not- withstanding all my arguments and representations, and even entrea- ties against it, she remains inflexible; so that I have at length yielded, and she is to have her own way. ' ' " Well, and what is the condition she lays such stress upon?" " Simply this that we are never to travel a mile together until I obtain my right to do so, by making her my wife. Shehas got some trumpery notions in her head that any slight transgression, over the bounds of delicacy, made by women before marriage is ever after re- membered by the husband to their disadvantage; and she is, there- fore, resolved not to sacrifice her principle even at such a crisis as the present." " All very proper, I have no doubt; but still, pray explain what I confess appears somewhat strange to me at present. How does so very delicately-minded a person reconcile herself to traveling with a perfect stranger under such circumstances?" " That I can explain perfectly to you. You must know that when my darling Loo consented to take this step, which I induced her to do with the greatest difficulty, she made the proviso I have just men tioned ; I at once showed her that I had no maiden aunt or married sister to confide her to at such a moment, and what was to be done? She immediately replied, ' Have you no elderly brother officer, whose years and discretion will put the transaction in such a light as to silence the slanderous tongues of the world? for with such a man I am quite ready and willing to trust myself. ' You see I was hard pushed there. What could I do? whom could I select? Old Hayes, the paymaster, is always tipsy; Jones is five-and-forty but still if he found out there were thirty thousand pounds in the case, egad! I'm not so sure I'd have found my betrothed at the end of the stage. You were my only hope; I knew I could rely upon you. You would carry on the whole affair with tact and discretion ; and as to age, your stage experience would enable you, with a little assistance from cos- tume, to pass muster; besides that, I have always represented you as the very Methuselah of the corps ; and in the gray dawn of an autumnal morning with maiden bashfulness assisting the scrutiny is not likely to be a close one. So, now, your consent is alone wanting to complete the arrangements, which, before this time to-morrow, shall have made me the happiest of mortals." Having expressed, in fitting terms, my full sense of obligation for the delicate flattery with which he pictured me as " Old Lorrequer " to the lady, I begged a more detailed account of his plan, which I shall shorten for my reader's sake, by the following brief expose. A post-chaise and four was to be in waiting at five o'clock in the morning to convey me to Sir Alfred Jonson's residence, about twelve miles distant. There I was to be met by a lady at the gate lodge, who was subsequently to accompany me to a small village on the Nore, where an old college friend of Curzon's happened to reside as parson, and by whom the treaty was to be concluded. This was all simple and clear enough the only condition necessary to insure success being punctuality, particularly on the lady's part. As to mine, I readily promised my best aid and warmest efforts la my friend'tf behalf. HARRY LORREQUER. 131 " There is only one thing more," said Curzon. " Louisa's younger brother is a devilish hot-headed, wild sort of a fellow ; and it would be as well, just for precaution's sake, to have your pistols along with you, if, by any chance, he should make out what was going forward not but that you know if anything serious was to take place, I should be the person to take all that upon my hands." "Oh! of course I understand, " said I. Meanwhile I could not help running over in my mind the pleasant possibilities such an ad- venture presented, heartily wishing that Curzon had been content to marry by bans, or any other of the legitimate modes in use, without risking his friend's bones. The other pros and cons of the matter, with full and accurate directions as to the road to be taken on ob- taining possession of the lady, being all arranged, we parted, I to settle my costume and appearance for my first performance in an old man's part, and Curzon to obtain a short leave for a few days from the commanding officer of the regiment. When we again met, which was at the mess- table, it was not with- out evidence on either side of that peculiar consciousness which per- sons feel who have, or think they have, some secret in common, which the world wots not of. Curzon's unusually quick and excited manner would at once have struck any close observer as indicating the eve of some important step, no less than continual allusions to whatever was going on, by sly and equivocal jokes and ambiguous jests. Happily, however, on the present occcasion, the party were otherwise occupied than watching him being most profoundly and learnedly engaged in discussing medicine and matters medical with all the acute and accurate knowledge which characterizes such dis- cussions among the non-medical public. The present conversation originated from some mention our senior surgeon, Fitzgerald, had just made of a consultation which he was invited to attend on the next morning, at the distance of twenty miles, and which necessitated him to start at a most uncomfortably sarly hour. While he continued to deplore the hard fate of such men as himself, so eagerly sought after by the world that their own hours were eternally broken in upon by external claims, the juniors were not sparing of their mirth on the occasion, at the expense of the worthy doctor, who in plain truth, had never been disturbed by a re- quest like the present, within any one's memory. Some asserted that the whole thing was a puff, got up by Fitz himself, who was only going 'to have a day's partridge-shooting; others hinted that it was a blind, to escape the vigilance of Mrs. Fitzgerald a well-known virago in i the regiment while Fitz enjoyed himself ; and a third party, pretend- ling to sympathize with the doctor, suggested that a hundred pounds would be the least he could possibly be offered for such services as his on so grave an occasion. " No, no, only fifty," said Fitz, gravely. " Fifty! Why, you tremendous old humbug, you don't mean to say you'll make fifty pounds before we are out of our beds hi the morning?" cried one. "I'll take your bet on it," said the doctor, who had, in this in- stance, reason to suppose his fee would be a large one. During this discussion, the claret had been pushed round rather freely; and fully bent, as I was, upon the adventure before me, I 132 HAllilY LOJtKKQUER. had taken my share of it as a preparation. I thought of the amaz- ing prize I was about to be instrumental in securing for my friend for the lady had really thirty thousand pounds and I could not con- ceal my triumph at such a prospect of success in comparison with the meaner object of ambition. They all seemed to envy poor Fitz- gerald. I struggled with my secret for some time but my pride and the claret together got the better of me, and I called out, " Fifty pounds on it, then, that before ten to-morrow morning, I'll make a better hit of it than you and the mess shall decide between us after- ward as to the winner. " And if you will," said I, seeing some reluctance on Fitz's part to take the wager, and getting emboldened in consequence, " let the judgment be pronounced over a couple of dozen of champagne paid by the loser." This was a coup d'etat on my part, for I knew at once that there were so many parties to benefit by the bet, terminate which way it might, there could be no possibility of evading it. Myr-wse succeed- ed, and poor Fitzgerald, fairly badgered into a wager, the terms of which he could not in the least comprehend, was obliged to sign the conditions inserted in the adjutant's note-book his greatest hope hi so doing being in the quantity of wine he had seen me drink during the evening. As for myself, the bet was no sooner made than I began to think upon the very little chance I had of winning it- for even supposing my success perfect hi the department allotted to' me it might with great reason be doubted what peculiar benefit I myself denved as a counterbalance to the fee of the doctor. For this, my only trust lay hi the justice of a decision which I conjectured would lean more toward the goodness of a practical joke than the equity of the transaction. The party at mess soon after separated and I wished my friend good night for the last time before meeting him as a bridegroom. I arranged everything in order for my start. My pistol-case I placed conspicuously before me, to avoid being forgotten in the haste of departure; and having ordered my servant to sit up all night in the guard-room until he heard the carriage at the barrack-gate threw myself on my bed but not to sleep. The adventure I was about to engage in suggested to my mind a thousand associations, into which many of the scenes I have already narrated entered. I thought how frequently I had myself been on the verge of that state whiclTCurzon was about to try, and how it always happened that when nearest to success, failure had intervened. From my very school-boy days my love adventures had the same unfortunate abruptness in their issue- and there seemed to be something very like a fatality in the invaria- ble unsuccess of my efforts at marriage. I feared, too, that my friend Curzon had placed himself in very unfortunate hands if augury were to be relied upon. Something will surely happen thought I, from my confounded ill luck, and all will be blown up Wearied at last with thinking, I fell into a sound sleep for about three-quarters of an hour, at the end of which I was awoke by my servant informing me that a chaise and four were drawn up at the end of Barrack-lane. surel y> the 7 are too early, Stubber? It's only four HARRY LORREQUER. 133 " Yes, sir; but they say that the road for eight miles is very bad, and they must go it almost at a walk." That is certainly pleasant, thought I; but I'm in for it now, so can't help it. In a few minutes I was up and dressed, and so perfectly trans- formed by the addition of a brown scratch-wig and large green spec- tacles, and a deep-flapped waistcoat, that my servant, on re-entering my room, could not recognize me. I followed him now across the barrack-yard, as with my pistol-case under one arm and a lantern in his hand he proceeded to the barrack-gate. As I passed beneath the adjutant's window I -saw a light the sash. was quickly thrown open, and Curzon appeared. " Is that you, Harry?" " Yes when do you start?" " In about two hours. I've only eight miles to go you have up- ward of twelve, and no time to lose. God bless you, my boy we'll meet soon." " Here's the carriage, sir, this way." " Well, my lads, you know the road, I suppose?" " Eveiy inch of it, your honor's glory; we're always coming it for- doctors and 'pothe caries; they're never a week without them. I was soon seated, the door clapped to, and the words " all right " given, and away we went. Little as I had slept during the night, my mind was too much occupied with the adventure I was engaged in to permit any thoughts of sleep now, so that I had abundant opportunity afforded me of pondering over all the bearings of the case, with much more of de- liberation and caution than I had yet bestowed upon it. One thing was certain, whether success did or did not attend our undertaking, the risk was mine and mine only; and if by any accident the affair should be already known to the family, I stood a very fair chance of "being shot by one of the sons, or stoned to death by the tenantry; while my excellent friend Curzon should be eating bis breakfast with his reverend friend, and only interrupting himself in his fourth muffin, to wonder " what could keep them," and besides, for minor miseries will, like the little devils in Don Giovanni, thrust up their heads among their better-grown brethren, my fifty pound bet. looked rather blue; for even under the most favorable light considered, however Curzon might be esteemed a gainer, it might be well doubt- ed how far I had succeeded better than the doctor, when producing his fee in evidence. Well, well, I'm hi for it now; but certainly it is strange, all these very awkward circumstances never struck me so forcibly before; and* after all it was not quite fair of Curzon to put any man forward in such a transaction ; the more so as such a repre- sentation might be made of it at the Horse-Guards as to stop a man's promotion, or seriously affect his prospects for life, and I at last began to convince myself that many a man so placed would carry the lady off himself, and leave the adjutant to settle the affair with the family. For two mortal hours did I conjure up eveiy possible disagreeable contingency that might arise. My being mulcted of my fifty and laughed at by the mess seemed inevitable, even were I fort- unate enougli to escape a duel with the lire-eaiing brother. Mean- " a thick misty rain continued to fall, adding so much to the 134 HARRY LORREQUER. darkness of the early hour, that I could see nothing of the country about me, and knew nothing of where I was. Troubles are like laudanum, a small dose only excites, a strong one sets you to sleep not a very comfortable sleep mayhap but still it is sleep, and often very sound sleep ; so it now happened with me. I had pondered over, weighed and considered all the pros, cons, turnings, and windings of this awkward predicament, till I had fairly convinced myself that I was on the high road to a confounded scrape; and then having established that fact to my entire satisfac- tion, I fell comfortably back in the chaise, and sunk into a most pro- found slumber. If to any of my readers I may appear here to have taken a very despondent view of this whole affair, let him, only call to mind my invariable ill luck in such matters, and always how it had been my lot to see myself on the fair road to success, only up to that point at which it is certain, besides but why explain? These are my Con- fessions. I may not alter what are matters of fact, and my reader must only take me with all the imperfections of wrong motives and headlong impulses upon my head, or abandon me at once. Meanwhile the chaise rolled along, and the road being better and the pace faster, my sleep became more easy ; thus, about an hour and a half, after I had fallen asleep, passed rapidly over, when the sharp turning of an angle disturbed me from my leaning position and I awoke. I started up and rubbed my eyes ; several seconds elapsed before I could think where I was or whither going. Consciousness at last came, and I perceived that we were driving up a thickly planted avenue. Why, confound it, they can't have mistaken it, thought I, or are we really going up to the house, instead of waiting at the lodge? I at once lowered the sash, and stretching out my head, cried out, " Do you know what ye are about, lads; is this all right?" but, unfortunately, amid the rattling of the gravel and the clatter of the horses, my words were unheard; and thinking I was addressing a request to go faster, the villains cracked their whips, and breaking into a full gallop, before five minutes flew over, they drew up with a jerk at the foot of a long portico to a large and spacious cut-stone mansion. When I rallied from the sudden check, which had nearly thrown me through the window, I gave myself up for lost; here l"was a vis-a-vis to the very hall door of the man whose daughter I was about to elope with, whether so placed by the awkwardness and blundering of the wretches who drove me, or de- livered up by their treachery, it mattered not, my fate seemed certain; before I had tune to determine upon any line of acting in this con- founded dilemma, the door was jerked open by a servant in a somber livery; who, protruding his head and shoulders into the chaise, looked at me steadily for a moment, and said, " Ah! then, doctor, darlin', but ye're welcome." With the speed with which sometimes the bar of an air long since heard, or the passing glance of an old familiar face can call up the memory of our very earliest childhood, bright and vivid before us, so that one single phrase explained the entire mystery of my present position, and I saw in one rapid glance that I had got into the chaise intended for Dr. Fitzgerald, and was absolutely at that moment before the hall door of the patient. My first impulse was an honest one, to avow the mistake and retrace HARRY LORREQUER. 135 my steps, taking my chance to settle with Curzon, whose matrimonial scheme I foresaw was doomed to the untimely fate of all those I had ever been concerned in. My next thought, how seldom is the adage true which says "that second thoughts are best," was upon my luckless wager, for, even supposing that Fitzgerald should follow me in the other chaise, yet as I had the start of him, if I could only pass muster for half an hour, I might secure the fee, and evacuate the territory; besides that there was a great chance of Fitz's having gone on my errand, while I was journeying on Ms, in which case I should be safe from interruption. Meanwhile, heaven only could tell, what his interference in poor Curzon's business might not in- volve. These serious reflections took about ten seconds to pass through my mind as the grave looking old servant proceeded to en- cumber himself with my cioaK and my pistol-case, remarking as he lifted the latter, " And may the Lord grant you won't want the instruments this time, doctor, for they say he is better this morn- ing;" heartily wishing amen to the benevolent prayer of the honest domestic, for more reasons than one, I descended leisurely, as I con- jectured a doctor ought to do, from the chaise, and with a solemn pace and grave demeanor followed him into the house. In the small parlor to which I was ushered, sat two gentlemen somewhat advanced in years, who I rightly supposed were my medi- cal confreres. One of these was a tall, pale, ascetic-looking man, with gray hair and retreating forehead, slow in speech, and lugubri- ous in demeanor. The other, his antithesis, was a short, rosy- cheeked, apoplectic looking subject ; with a laugh like a suffocating Wheeze, and a paunch like an alderman; his quick, restless eye, and full nether lip denoting more of the bon vivant than the abstemious disciple of Esculapius. A moment's glance satisfied me that if I had only these to deal with, I was safe, for I saw that they were of that stamp of country practitioner, half-physician, half-apothecary, Who rarely come in contact with the higher orders of their art, and then only to be dictated to, obey and grumble. " Doctor, my I beg to intrude myself, Mr. Phipps, on your notice? Dr. Phipps or Mr., it's all one; but I have only a license in pharmacy, though they call me doctor." " Surgeon Riley, sir; a very respectable practitioner," said he, waving his hand toward his rubicund confrere. I at once expressed the great happiness it afforded me to meet such highly informed and justly celebrated gentlemen; and fearing every moment the arrival of the real Simon Pure should cover me with shame and disgrace, begged they would afford me as soon as pos- sible, some history of the case we were concerned for. They accord- ingly proceeded to expound in a species of duet, some curious par- ticulars of an old gentlemen, who had the evil fortune to have them for his doctors, and who labored under some swelling of the neck, which they differed as to the treatment of, and in consequence of which, the aid of a third party (myself, God bless the mark!) was requested. As I could by no means divest myself of the fear of Fitz's arrival, I pleaded the multiplicity of my professional engagements as a reason for at once seeing the patient; upon which I was conducted up stairs by my two brethren, and introduced into a half -lighted 136 HAKRY LORREQUER. chamber. In a large easy chair, sat a florid-looking old man, with a face in which pain and habitual ill-temper had combined to absorb every expression. " This is the doctor of the regiment, sir, that you desired to see," said my tall coadjutor. "Oh! then, very well; good morning, sir. I suppose you will find out something new the matter, for them two there have been doing so every day this two months." " I trust, sir," I replied stiflly, " that with the assistance of my learned friends, much may be done for you. Ha! Hem! so this is the malady. Turn your head a little to that side;" here an awful groan escaped the sick man, for 1, it appears, had made considerable impression upon rather a delicate part, not unintentionally I must confess; for as I remembered Hoyle's maxim at whist, "when in doubt play a trump," so I thought it might be true in physic, when posed by a difficulty to do a bold thing also. " Does that hurt you, sir?" said I, in a soothing and affectionate tone of voice. " Like the devil," growled the patient. "And here?" said I. "Oh! oh! I can't bear it any longer." "Oh! I perceive," said I, "the thing is just as I expected." Here I raised my eyebrows, and looked in- describably wise at my confreres. " No aneurism, doctor," said the tall one. " Certainly not." " Maybe," said the short man, " maybe it's a stay-t-home-with- us tumor after all;" so at least he appeared to pronounce a con- founded technical, which I afterward learned was " steatomatous. " Conceiving that my rosy friend was disposed to jeer at me, I gave him a terrific frown, and resumed: " This must not be touched." " So you won't operate upon it," said the patient. "I would not take a thousand pounds and do so," 1 replied. " Now if you please, gentlemen," said I, making a step toward the door, as if to withdraw for consultation, upon which they accompa- nied me down stairs to the breakfast-room. As it was the only time in my life I had performed in this character, I had some doubts as to the propriety of indulging a very hearty breakfast appetite, not knowing if it were unprofessional to eat; but from this doubt my learned friends speedily relieved me, by the entire devotion which they bestowed for about twenty minutes upon ham, rolls, eggs, and cutlets, barely interrupting these important occupations by^sly allu- sions -to the old gentleman's malady, and his chance of recovery. " Well, doctor," said the pale one, as at length he rested from his labors, " what are we to do?" " Ay," said the other, " there's the question." "Go on," said I, "go on as before; I can't advise you better. " Now, this was a deep stroke of mine; for up to the present moment I did not know what treatment they were practicing: but it looked a Bhrewd thing to guess it, and it certainly was civil to approve of it. " So you think that will be best?" " I'm certain I know nothing better," I answered. " Well, I'm sure, sir, we have every reason to be gratified for the yery candid manner in which you have treated us. Sir, I'm your most obediert servant," said the fat one. " Gentlemen, both your good healths and professional success HARRY LORREQUER. 137 also;" here I swallowed a petit vewe of brandy; thinking all the while there were worse things than the practice of physic. " I hope you are not going," said one, as my chaise drew up at the door. " Business calls me," said I, " and I can't help it." " Could not you manage to see our friend here again, in a day or two?" said the rosy one. " I fear it will be impossible," replied I; " besides I have a notion he may not desire it." " I have been commissioned to hand you this," said the tall doc- tor, with a half sigh, as he put a check into my hand. I bowed slightly, and stuffed the crumpled paper with a half care- less air into my waistcoat pocket, and wishing them both every spe- cies of happiness and success, shook hands four times with each and drove off; never believing myself safe till I saw the gate-lodge be- hind me, and felt myself flying on the road to Kilkenny at about twelve miles Irish an hour. CHAPTER XVIII. THE ELOPEMENT. IT was past two o'clock when I reached the town. On entering, the barrack-yard, I perceived a large group of officers chatting to- gether, and every moment breaking into immoderate fits of laugh- ter. I went over, and immediately learned the source of their mirth, which was this: No sooner had it been known that Fitzgerald was about to go to a distance, on a professional call, than a couple of young officers laid their heads together, and wrote an anonymous note to Mrs. Fitz, who was the very dragon of jealousy, informing her that her husband had feigned the whole history of the patient and consultation as an excuse for absenting himself on an excursion of gallantry; and that if she wished to satisfy herself of the truth of the statement she had only to follow him in the morning, and de- tect his entire scheme ; the object of these amiable friends being to give poor Mrs. Fitz a twenty miles jaunt, and confront her with her injured husband at the end of it. Having a mind actively alive to suspicions of this nature, the worthy woman made all her arrangements for a start, and scarcely was the chaise and four, with her husband, put of the town, than she was on the track of it, with a heart bursting with jealousy, and vowing vengeance to the knife against all concerned in this scheme to wrong her. So far the plan of her persecutors had perfectly succeeded ; they saw her depart on a trip of, as they supposed, twenty miles, and their whole notions of the practical joke were limited to the eclaircisse- ment that must ensue at the end. Little, however, were they aware how much more nearly the suspected crime was the position of the poor doctor to turn out ; for, as by one blunder I had taken his chaise, so he, without any inquiry whatever, had got into the one intended for me, and never awoke from a most refreshing slumber till shaken by the shoulder b}* the postilion, who whispered in his ear, " Here we are, sir: this is the gate." *38 HARRY LORREQUER. ' But why stop at the gate? Drive up the avenue, my boy. " " His honor told me, sir, not for the world to go further than the lodge: nor to make as much noise as a mouse." "Ah! very true. He may be very irritable, poor man! Well, etop here, and I'll get out." Just as the doctor had reached the ground, a very smart-looking soubrette tripped up and said to him : " Beg pardon, sir; but you are the gentleman from the barrack, sir?" " Yes, my dear," said Fitz, with a knowing look at the pretty face of the damsel, " what can I do for you?" " Why, sir, my mistress is here in* the shrubbery; but she is so nervous, and so frightened, I don't know how she'll go through it." "Ah! she's frightened, poor thing; is she! Oh! she must keep up her spirits, while there's life there's hope." " Sir." " I say, my darling, she must not give way. I'll speak to her a little. Is not he rather advanced in life?" "Oh! Lord! no, sir. Only two-and-thirty, my mistress tells me." Two-and-thirty ! Why I thought he was above sixty. ' ' : ' Above sixty! Law! sir. You have a bright fancy. This is the gentleman, ma'am. Now, sir, I'll just slip aside for a moment, and let j r ou talk to her." " I am grieved, ma'am, that I have not the happiness to make your acquaintance under happier circumstances." " I must confess, sir though I am ashamed " " Never be ashamed, ma'am. Your grief, although I trust cause- less, does you infinite honor. Upon my soul she is rather pretty, " said the doctor to himself, here. " Well, sir, as I have the most perfect confidence in you, from all ' Dangerous ! Is he in so critical a si ate as that then?" " Critical a state, sir! Why what do you mean?" " I mean, ma'am, do you think, then, it must be done to-day?" " Of course I do, sir, and I shall never leave the spot without your assuring me of it." " Oh ! in that case make your mind easy. I have the instruments in the chaise." " The instruments in the chaise! Really, sir, if you are not jest- ingI trust you don't think this a fitting time for such I entreat of you to speak more plainly and intelligibly." " Jesting, ma'am! I'm incapable of jesting at such a moment." " M'am! ma'am! I see one of the rangers, ma'am, at a distance; so don't lose a moment, but get into the chaise at once." " Well, sir, let us away; for I have now gone too far to retract." " Help my mistress into the chaise, sir. Lord! what a man he is." A moment more saw the poor doctor seated beside the young lady, while the postilions plied whip and spur with their best energy; and the road flew beneath them. Meanwhile the delay caused by this short dialogue enabled Mrs. Fitz's slower conveyance to come up with tht pursuit, and her -chaise had- just turned the HARRY LORREQUER. 139 angle of the road as she caught a glimpse of a muslin dress stepping into the carriage with her husband. There are no words capable of conveying the faintest idea of the feelings that agitated Mrs. Fitz at this moment. The fullest con- firmation to her worst fears was before her eyes just at the very in- stant when a doubt was beginning to cross over her mind that it might have been merely a hoax that was practiced on her, and that the worthy doctor was innocent and blameless. As for the poor doc- tor himself, there seemed little chance of his being enlightened as to the real state of matters; for from the moment the young lady had taken her place in the chaise, she had buried her face in her hands, and sobbed continually. Meanwhile he concluded that they were approaching the house by some back entrance, to avoid noise and confusion, and waited with due patience for the journey's end. As, however, her grief continued unabated, Fitz at length began to think of the many little consolatory acts he had successfully prac- ticed in his professional career, and was just insinuating some very tender speech on the score of resignation, his head inclined toward the weeping lady beside him, when the chaise of Mrs. Fitz came up alongside, and the postilions having yielded to the call to halt, drew suddenly up, displaying to the enraged wife the tableau we have mentioned. " So, wretch," she screamed rather than spoke, " I have detected you at last." " Lord bless me! Why it is my wife." " Yes, villain! your injured, much-wronged wife! And you, madam, may I ask what you have to say for thus eloping with a married man?" " Shame! My dear Jemima," said Fitz, " how can you possibly permit your foolish jealousy so far to blind your reason? Don't you see I am going upon a professional call?" " Oh! you are, are you! Quite professional, I'll be bound." " Oh, sir! oh, madam! I beseech you, save me from the anger of my relatives, and the disgrace of exposure. Pray, bring me back at once." " Why, my God, ma'am, what do you mean? You are not gone mad, as well as my wife." " Really, Mr. Fitz," says Mrs. F., " this is carrying the joke too far. Take your unfortunate victim as I suppose she is such home to her parents, and prepare to accompany me to the barrack; and if there be law and justice in " " Well! may the Lord in his mercy preserve my senses, or you will both drive me clean mad." " Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" sobbed the young lady, while Mrs. Fitz- gerald continued to upbraid at the top of her voice, heedless of the disclaimers and protestations of innocence poured out with the elo- quence of despair by the poor doctor. Matters were in this state, when a man, dressed in a fustian jacket, like a groom, drove up to the side of the road, in a tax-cart; he immediately got down, and tearing open the door of the doctor's chaise, lifted out the young dy, and deposited her safely in his own conveyance, merely adding: I say, master, you're in luck this morning, that Mr. William 140 HARRY LORREQUER. took the lower road ; for if Tie had come up with you, instead of me, he'd blow the roof off your skull, that's all." While these highly satisfactory words were being addressed to poor Fitz, Mrs. Fitzgerald had removed from her carriage to that of her husband, perhaps preferring four horses to two; or perhaps she had still some unexplained views of the transaction, which might as well be told on the road homeward. Whatever might have been the nature of Sirs. F. 's dissertation, nothing is known. The chaise containing these turtle doves arrived late at night at Kilkenny, and Fitz was installed safely in his quarters before any one knew of his having come back. The following morning he was reported ill; and for three weeks he was but once seen, and that time only at his window, with a flannel night-cap on his head, looking particularly pale, and rather dark under one eye. As for Curzon the last thing known of him that luckless morning was his hiring a post-chaise for the Royal Oak, from whence he posted to Dublin, and hastened on to England. In a few days we learned that the adjutant had exchanged into a regiment in Canada; and to this hour there are not three men in the th who know the real secret of that morning's misadventures. CHAPTER XT7T DETACHMENT DUTY AN ASSIZE TOWN. As there appeared to be but little prospect of poor Fitzgerald ever requiring any explanation from me as to the events of that morning, for he feared to venture from his room, lest he might be recognized and prosecuted for abduction, I thought it better to keep my own secret also; and it was therefore with a feeling of anything but regret that I received an order which, under other circumstances, would have rendered me miserable to march on detachment duty. To any one at all conversant with the life we lead in the army, I need not say how unpleasant such a change usually is. To surrender your capital mess, with all its well appointed equipments your jovial brother officers your West India Madeira your cool Lafitte your daily, hourly, and half-hourly flirtations with the whole female population never a deficient one in a garrison town not to speak of your matches at trotting, coursing, and pigeon shooting, and a hundred other delectable modes of getting over the ground through life, till it please your ungrateful country and the Horse Guards to make you a major-general to surrender all these, I say, for the noise, dust, and damp disagreeables of a country inn, with bacon to eat, whisky to drink, and the priest, or the constabulary chief, to get drunk with I speak of Ireland here and your only affair 'par amours being the occasional ogling of the apothecary's daughter opposite, as of ten as she visits the shop, in the soi-disant occupation of meas- uring out garden seeds and senna. These are, indeed, the exchanges with a difference, for which there is co compensation; and, for my own part, I never went upon such duty, that I did not exclaim with the honest Irishman, whea the mail went over him, " Oh, Lord! what is this for?" firmly believing that in the earthly purgatory of HARRY LORREQUER. 141 such duties, 1 was reaping the heavy retribution attendant on past offenses. Besides, from being rather a crack man in my corps, I thought it somewhat hard that my turn for such duty should come round about twice as often as that of my brother officers ; but so it is I never knew a fellow a little smarter than his neighbors that was not pounced upon by his colonel for a victim. Now, however, I looked at these matters in a very different light. To leave head-quarters was to escape being questioned; while there was scarcely any post to which I could be sent, where something strange or adventurous might not turn up, and serve me to erase the memory of the past, and turn the attention of my companions in any quarter rather than toward myself. My orders on the present occasion were to march to Clonmel, from whence I was to proceed a short distance to the house of a magis- trate, upon whose information, transmitted to the Chief Secretary, the present assistance of a military party had been obtained ; and not without every appearance of reason. The assizes of the town were about to be held, and many capital offenses stood for trial in the calendar; and as it was strongly rumored that, in the event of certain convictions being obtained, a rescue would be attempted, a general attack upon the town seemed a too natural consequence; and if so, the house of so obnoxious a person as him I have alluded to, would be equally certain of being assailed. Such, at least, is too frequently the history of stich scenes : beginning with no one definite object sometimes a slight one more ample views and wider conceptions of mischief follow ; and what has begun in a drunken riot a casual rencontre may terminate in the slaughter of a family or the burning of a village. The finest peasantry God bless them are a vif people, and quicker at taking a hint than most others, and have, withal, a natural taste for fighting, that no acquired habits of other nations can pretend to vie with. As the worthy person to whose house I was now about to proceed was, and if I am rightly informed is, rather a remarkable character in the local history of Irish politics, I may as well say a few words concerning him. Mr. Joseph Larkins, Esq., (for so he signed him- self) had only been lately elevated to the bench of magistrates. He was originally one of that large but intelligent class called in Ireland " small farmers," remarkable chiefly for a considerable tact in driv- ing hard bargains a great skill in wethers a rather national dislike to pay all species of imposts, whether partaking of the nature of tax, title, grand jury cess, or anything of that nature whatsoever. So very accountable I had almost said (for I have been long quartered in Ireland), so very laudable, a propensity, excited but little of surprise or astonishment in his neighbors, the majority of whom entertain very similar views none, however, possessing anj'thing like the able and. lawyer-like ability of the worthy Larkins, for the SUM evasion of these inroads upon the liberty of the subject. Such, in fact, was his talent, and so great his success in this respect, that he had established what, if it did not exactly amount to a statute of exemption in law, served equally well in reality; and for severa/ years he enjoyed a perfect immunity on the subject of money-paying in general. His "little houldin'," as he unostentatiously called some five hundred acres of bog, mountain, and sheep-walk, lay in a remote 142 HARRY LORREQUER. Eart of the county, the roads were nearly impassable for several milee i that direction, and was of little value; the agent was a timid man with a large family; of three tithe proctors who had penetrated into the forbidden territory, two labored under a dyspepsia for life, not being able to digest parchment and sealing-wax, for they usually dined on their own writs, and the third gave five pounds out of his pocket to a large, fresh-looking man, with brown whiskers and beard, that concealed him two nights in a hay-loft to escape the vengeance of the people, which act of philanthropy should never be forgotten, if some ill-nfliurcd people were not bold enough to say that the kind individual in question was no other man than However this may be, true it is that this was the last attempt made to bring within the responsibilities of the law so refractory a subject; and so powerful is habit, that, although he was to be met with at every market and cattle-fan- in the county, an arrest of his person was no more contemplated than if he enjoyed the privilege of parliament to go at large without danger. When the country became disturbed, and nightly meetings of the peasantry were constantly held, followed by outrages against life and property to the most frightful extent, the usual resources of the law were employed unavailingly. It was in vain to offer high rewards. Approvers could not be found; and so perfectly organized were the secret associations, that few beyond the very ringleaders knew any- thing of consequence to communicate. Special commissioners were sent down from Dublin ; additional police force, detachments of mil- itary; long correspondence took place between the magistracy and the government but all in vain. The disturbances continued; and at last to such a height had they arisen, that the country was put under martial law: and even this was ultimately found perfectly in- sufficient to repel what now daily threatened to become an open re- bellion rather than mere agragrian disturbance. It was at this precise moment, when all resources seemed to be fast exhausting them- selves, that certain information reached the Castle, of the most im- portant nature. The individual who obtained and transmitted it had periled his life in so doing but the result was a great one no less than the capital conviction and execution of seven of the most influential among the disaffected peasantry. Confidence was at once shaken in the secrecy of their associates: distrust and suspicion fol- lowed. Many of the boldest sunk beneath the fear of betrayal, and themselves became evidence for the crown ; and in five months, a county shaken with midnight meetings, and blazing with insurrec- tionary fires, became almost the most tranquil in its province. It may well be believed, that he who rendered this important service on this trying emergency could not be passed over, and the name of J. Larkins soon after appeared in the Gazette as one of his Majesty's justices of the peace for the county; pretty much in the same spirit in which a country gentleman converts the greatest poacher in his neighborhood by making him his gamekeeper. In person he was a large and powerfully built man, consideiably above six feet in height, and possessing great activity, combined with powers of enduring fatigue almost incredible. With an eye like a hawk, and a heart that never knew fear, he was the person, of all others, calculated to strike terror into the minds of the country HARRY LORREQUER. 143 people. The reckless daring with which he threw kimself into danger the almost impetuous quickness with which he followed up a scent, whenever information reached him of an important char- acterhad their full effect upon a people who, long accustomed to the slowness and the uncertainty of the law were almost paralyzed at beholding detection and punishment follow on crime, as certainly as the thunder-crash follows the lightning. His great instrument for this purpose was the obtaining informa- tion from sworn members of the secret societies, and whose names never appeared in the course of a trial or prosecution, until the measure of their iniquity was completed, when they usually received a couple of hundred pounds blood-money, as it was called, with which they took themselves away to America or Australia their lives being only secured while they remained by the shelter afforded them in the magistrate's own house. And so it happened that con- stantly there numbered from ten to twelve of these wretches, inmates of his family, each of whom had the burden of participation in one murder at least, waiting for an opportunity to leave the country, un- noticed and unwatched. Such a frightful and unnatural state of things can hardly be con- ceived ; and yet, shocking as it was, it was a relief to that which led to it. I have dwelt, perhaps, too long upon this painful subject; but let my reader now accompany me a little further, and the scene shall be changed. Does he see that long, low, white house with a tall, steep roof, perforated with innumerable narrow windows. There are a few straggling beech trees, upon a low, bleak -looking field be- fore the house, which is called, par excellence, the lawn ; a pig or two, some geese, and a tethered goat are, here and there, musing over the state of Ireland, while some rosy, curly-headed, noisy, and bare-legged urchins are gamboling before the door. This is the dwelling of the worshipful justice to which myself and my party were now approaching, with that degree of activity which attends on most marches of twenty miles, under the oppressive closeness of a day in autumn. Fatigued and tired as I was, yet I could not enter the little inclosure before the house, without stopping for a moment to admire the view before me. A large tract of rich country, un- dulating on every side, and teeming with corn fields, in all the yel- low gold of ripeness; here and there, almost hid by small clumps of ash and alder, were scattered some cottages, from which the blue smoke rose in a curling column into the calm evening's sky. All was graceful, and beautifully tranquil ; and you might have selected the picture as emblematic of that happiness and repose we so con- stantly associate with our ideas of the country; and yet, before that sun had even set, which now gilded the landscape, its glories would be replaced by the lurid glare of nightly incendiarism, and but here, fortunately for my reader, and perhaps myself, I am inter- rupted in my meditations by a rich, mellifluous accent saying, in the true Doric of the South : " Mr. Loorequer! you're welcome to Curryglass, sir. You've had a hot day for your march. Maybe you'd take a taste of sherry be- fore dinner? Well, then, we'll no), wait for Molowny, but order it up at once." So saying, I was ushered into a long, low drawing-room, in which. 144 HARRY LORREQUER. were collected together about a dozen men, to whom I was specially and severally presented, and among whom I was happy to find my boarding-house acquaintance, Mr. Daly, who, with the others, had arrived that same day, for the assizes, and who were all members of the legal profession, either barristers, attorneys, or clerks of the peace. The hungry aspect of the convives, no less than the speed with which dinner made its appearance after my arrival, showed me that my coming was only waited for to complete the party the Mr. Molowny, before alluded to, being unanimously voted present. The meal itself hd but slight pretensions to elegance; there were neither vol au vents, nor croquettes; neither were ^here poulets aux truffes, nor coteUettes a la soubise but in their place stood a lordly fish of some five-and- twenty pounds weight, a massive sirloin, with all the usual armament of fowls, ham, pigeon-pie, beefsteak, &c., lying in rather a promiscuous order along either side of the table. The party were evidently disposed to be satisfied, and, I acknowledge, I did not prove an exception to the Earned individuals about me, either in my relish for good things, or my appetite to enjoy them. Duke est desipere in loco, says some one, by which I suppose is meant that a rather slang company is occasionally good fun. Whether from my taste for the " humanities," or not, I am unable to say, but certainly in my then humor I should not have exchanged my position for one of much greater pretensions to elegance and tone. There was first a general onslaught upon the viands, crashing of plates, jingling of knives, mingling with requests for " more beef," " the hard side of the sal- mon," or "another slice of ham." Then came a dropping fire of drinking wine, which quickly increased, the decanters of sherry for about ten minutes resting upon the table about as long as Taglioni touches this mortal earth in one of her flying ballets. Acquaintances were quickly formed between the members of the bar and myself, and I found that my momentary popularity was likely to terminate in my downfall; for, as each introduction was followed by a bumper of strong sherry, I did not expect to last till the end of the feast. The cloth at length disappeared, and I was just thanking Providence for the respite from hob-nobbing which 1 imagined was to follow, when a huge, square decanter of whisky appeared, flanked by an enormous jug of boiling water, and renewed preparations for drink- ing upon a large scale seriously commenced. It was just at this moment that I, for the first tune, perceived the rather remarkable figure who had waited upon us at dinner, and who, while I chronicle so many things of little import, deserves a slight mention. He was a little old man of about fifty-five or sixty years, wearing upon his head a barrister's wig, and habited in clothes which originally had been the costume of a very large and bulky person, and which con- sequently added much to the drollery of his appearance. He had been, for forty years, the servant of Judge Vandeleur, and had entered his present service rather in the light of a preceptor than a menial, invariably dictating to the worthy justice upon every occasion of etiquette or propriety, by a reference to what " the judge himself " did, which always sufficed to carry the day in Nicholas's favor, op- position to so correct a standard never being thought of by the jus- tice. " That's Billy Crow's own whisky, the ' small still,' " said Nich- HARRY LORREQUER. 145 olas, placing the decanter upon the table; " make much of it, for there isn't such dew in the county." With this commendation upon the liquor, Nicholas departed, and we proceeded to fill our glasses. I cannot venture perhaps it is so much the better that 1 cannot to give any idea of the conversation which at once broke out, as if the barriers that restrained it had at length given way. But law talk in all its plenitude followed; and for two hours I heard of nothing but writs, detainers, declarations, traverses in prox, and alibis, with sundry hints for qui tarn processes, interspersed, occasional^, with sly jokes about packing juries and confusing witnesses, among which figured the usual number of good things attributed to the Chief Baron O'Grady, and the other sayers of smart sayings at the bar. " Ah!" said Mr. Daly, drawing a deep sigh at the same instant " the bar is sadly fallen off since I was called in the year seventy-six. There was not a leader in one of the circuits at that time that couldn't puzzle any jury that ever sat in a box: and as for driving through an act of parliament, it was, as Sancho Panza says, cakes and gingerbread to them. And then, there is one especial talent lost forever to the present generation just like stained glass and illu- minated manuscripts, and slow poisons and the like that were all known years ago I mean the beautiful art of addressing the judge before the jury, and not letting them know you were quizzing them, if ye liked to do that same. Poor Peter Purcell for that rest his ashes he could cheat the devil himself if he had need and maybe he has had before now. Peter is sixteen years dead last November. " " And what was Peter's peculiar tact in that respect, Mr. Daly?" said I. " Oh, then I might try for hours to explain it to you in vain; but I'll just give you an instance, that'll show you better than all my dissertations on the subject, and I was present myself when it hap- pened, more by token, it was the first time lever met him on circuit: " I suppose there is scarcely any one here now, except myself , that remembers the great cause of Mills versus Mulcahy, a widow and others, that was tried at Ennis, in the year '82. It's no matter if there is not. Perhaps it may be more agreeable for me, for I can tell my story in my own version, and not be interrupted. Well, that was called the old record, for they tried it seventeen times. I be- lieve, on my conscience, it killed old Jones, who was in the Common Pleas; he used to say, if he put it for trial on the Day of Judgment, one of the parties would be sure to lodge an appeal. Be that as it may, the Millses engaged Peter, special, and brought him down with a great retainer, in a chaise and four, flags flying, and favors in the postilions' hats, and a fiddler on the roof, playing the ' Hare in the Corn. ' The inn was illuminated the same evening, and Peter made n, speech from the windows upon the liberty of the press and relig- ious freedom all over the globe, and there wasn't a man in the mob didn't cheer him, which was the more civil, because few of them knew a word of English, and the others thought he was a play-actor. But it all went off well, nevertheless, for Peter was a clever fellow; and although he liked money well, he liked popularity more, and he never went anywhere special that he hadn't a public meeting of some kind or other, either to abolish rents, or suppress parsons, or some 146 HARRY LORREQUER. such popular and beneficial scheme, which always made him a great favorite with the people, and got him plenty of clients. But I am wandering from the record. Purcell came down, as I said before, special for Mills; and when he looked over his brief, and thought of the case, he determined to have it tried by a gentlemen jury, for, although he was a great man with the mob, he liked the country gentlemen better in the jury box, for he was always coming out with quotations from the classics, which, whether the grand jury under- stood or not, they always applauded very much. Well, when he came into court that morning, you may guess his surprise and mortification to find that the" same jury that had tried a common ejectment case were still in the box, and waiting, by the chief jus- tice's direction, to try Mills versus Mulcahy, the great case of the Assizes. " I hear they were a set of common clod-hopping wretches, with. frieze coats and brogues, that no man could get round at all, for they were as cunning as foxes, and could tell blarney from good sense, rather better than people with better coats on them. " Now, the moment that Mr. Purcell came into the court, after bowing politely to the judge, he looked up to the box, and when he saw the dirty faces of the dealers in pork and potatoes, and the un- shaven chins of the small farmers, his heart fell within him, and he knew in a minute how little they'd care for the classics if he quoted Caesar's Commentaries itself for them ignorant creatures as they were! " Well, the cause was called, and up gets Peter, and he began to 'express,' (as he always called it himself), ' the great distress his lient and himself would labor under, if the patient and most intelli- gent jury then on the panel should come to the consideration of so very tedious a case as this promised to be, after their already most fatiguing exertions;' he commented upon their absence from their wives and and families, their farms neglected, their crops hazarded, and in about fifteen minutes he showed them they were, if not speed- ily released and sent home, worse treated and harder used than many of the prisoners condemned to three months' imprisonment; and actually so far worked upon the feelings of the chief himself, that he turned to the foreman of the jury and said, ' that although it was a great deviation from liis habitual practice, if at this pressing season (heir prospects were involved to the extent the learned counsel had pictured, why then, that he would so far bend his practice on this occasion, and they should be dismissed. ' Now, Peter, I must con- fess, here showed the most culpable ignorance in not knowing that a set of country fellows, put up in a jury box, would rather let every blade of corn rot in the ground, than give up what they always sup- posed so very respectable an appointment ; for they invariably imag- ine in these cases that they are something very like my lord the judge, ' barrin' the ermine;' besides, that on the present occasion, Peter's argument in their favor decided them upon staying, for they now felt like martyrs, and firmly believed that they were putting the chief justice under" an obligation'for life. " When, therefore, they heard the question of the court, it did not take a moment's time for the whole body to rise en masse, and bow- HARRY LORREQUER. 147 Ing to the judge, call out, ' We'll stay, my lord, and try every moth- er's son of them for you ; ay, if it lasted till Christmas. ' " ' I am sure, my lord,' said Peter, collecting himself for an effort, ' I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude for the great sacrifice these gifted and highly intelligent gentlemen are making in my client's behalf; for, being persons who have great interest in the country at stake, their conduct on the present occasion is the more praiseworthy : and I am certain they fully appreciate, as does your lordship, the difficulty of the case before us, when documents will be submitted, requiring a certain degree of acquaintance with such testimonials sufficiently to comprehend. Many of the title deeds, as your lordship is aware, being obtained under old abbey charters, are in the learned languages ; and we all know how home to our hearts and bosoms comes the beautiful line of the Greek poet, " vacuus viator cantabit ante latronem." The sound of the quotation roused the chief justice, who had been in some measure inattentive to the preceding part of the learned counsel's address, and he called out rather sharply, ' Greek ! Mr. Purcell why I must have mistaken will you repeat \he passage?' " ' With pleasure, my lord. I was just observing to your lordship and the jury, with the elegant poet, Hergesius, " vacuus viator canta- bit flute latronem." " ' Greek, did you call it?' " ' Yes, my lord, of course I did.' " ' Why, Mr. Purcell, you are quoting Latin to me and what do you mean by talking of the learned Hergesius, and Greek all the time! the line is Juvenal's.' " ' My lord, with much submission to your lordship, and every deference to your great attainments and very superior talents, let me still assure you that I am quoting Greek, and that your lordship is in error.' " ' Mr. Purcell, I have only to remark, that if you are desirous to make a jest of the court, you had better be cautious, sir;' and here the judge waxed exceeding wroth. ' I say the line is Latin Latin, sir, Juvenal's Latin, sir very schoolboy knows it!' " ' Of course, my lord,' said Peter, with great humility, ' I bow myself to the decision of your lordship ; the line is, therefore, Latin. Yet I may be permitted to hint that were your lordship disposed to submit this question, as you are shortly about to do another and a similar one, to those clear-sighted and intelligent gentlemen there, I am satisfied, my lord, it would be Greek to every man of them. ' " The look, the voice, and the peculiar emphasis with which Peter gave these words, were perfectly successful. The acute judge antici- pated the wish of the counsel the jury were dismissed, and Peter proceeded in his case before those he knew better how to deal with and with whom the result was more certain to be as he wished it." To this anecdote of the counselor, succeeded many others, of which, as the whisky-was potent and the hour late, my memory is not over retentive; the party did not break up till near four o'clock; and even then, our seance only concluded because some one gravely remarked, " that as we should be all actively engaged on the mor- row, early hours were advisable. " 148 HAKKY LORKEQUEB, CHAPTER XX. THE ASSIZE TOWN. I HAD not been above a week in my new quarters, when my serv- ant presented me, among my letters, one morning, with a packet, which, with considerable pains, 1 at length recognized to be directed to me. The entire envelope was covered with writing in various hands, among which I detected something which bore a faint re- semblance to my name; but the address which followed was perfectly unreadable, not only to me as it appeared, but also the " experts " of the different post-offices, for it had been followed by sundry directions to try various places beginning with T, which seemed to be the let- ter commencing the " great unknown locality;" thus I read " try Tralee," "try Tyrone," " Try Tanderagee," &c., &c. I wonder that they didn't add, " try Teheran," and I suppose they would at last, rather than abandon the pursuit. " But, Stubbes," said I, as I conned over the various addresses on this incomprehensible cover, " are you sure this is for me?" " The postmaster, sir, desired me to ask you if you'd have it, for he has offered it to every one down in these parts lately; the water- guard offices will take it at 8d. sir, if you won't, but I begged you might have the refusal." ' ' Oh ! very well ; I am happy to find matters are managed so im- partially in the post-office here. Nothing like a public auction for making matters find their true level. Tell the .postmaster, then, I'll keep the letter, and the rather, as it happens, by good luck, to be intended for me. " " And now for the interior," said I, as I broke the seal and read: " PARIS, RUE CASTIGLIONE. " MY DEAB M. LOBREQUER As her ladyship and my son have in vain essayed to get anything from you in the shape of reply to their letters, it has devolved upon me to try my fortune, which, were I to augur from the legibility of my writing, may not, I should fear, prove more successful than the " (what can the word be?) " the the " why, it can't be damnable, surely? no, it is amiable I see " than the amiable epistle of my lady. 1 cannot, however, permit myself to leave this without apprising you that we are about to start for Baden, where we purpose remaining a month or two. Your cousin Guy, who has been staying here for some time with us, has been obliged to set out for Geneva, but hopes to join us some weeks hence. He is a great favorite with us all, but has not effaced the memory of our older friend, yourself. Could you not find means to come over and see us if only a flying visit? Rotterdam is the route, and a few days would bring you to our quarters. Hoping that you may feel so disposed, I nave inclosed herewith a letter to the Horse Guards, which I trust may facilitate your obtaining leave of absence. I know of no other ruodu of making your peace with HARRY LORREQUER. 149 the ladies, who are too highly incensed at your desertion to send one civil postscript to this letter; and Kilkee and myself are absolutely exhausted in our defense of you. Believe me yours, truly, " CALLONBY." Had 1 received an official notification of my being appointed pay- master to the forces, or chaplain to Chelsea hospital, I believe I should have received the inf onnation with less surprise than I perused this letter. That after the long interval which had elapsed, during which I had considered myself totally forgotten by this family, I should now receive a letter and such a letter too quite in the vein of our former intimacy and good feeling, inviting me to their house, and again professing their willingness that I should be on the terms of our old familiarity was little short of wonderful to me: 1 read too with what pleasure? that slight mention of my cousin, whom I had so long regarded as my successful rival, but who I began now to hope had not been preferred to me. Perhaps it was not yet too late to think that all was not hopeless. It appeared, too, that several letters had been written which had never reached me; so, while I ac- cused them of neglect and forgetfulness, I was really more amenable to the charge myself ; for from the moment I had heard of my cousin Guy's having been domesticated amongst them, and the rumors of his marriage had reached me, I suffered my absurd jealousy to blind my reason, and never wrote another line after. I ought to have known how " bavard " Guy always was; that he never met with the most ten thousand times quicker than my hopes were extinguished before, were they again kindled, and I could not refrain from regarding Lady Jane as a mirror of constancy, and myself the most fortunate man in Europe. My old castle-building propensities came back to me in an instant, and I pictured myself with Lady Jane as my com- panion, wandering among the beautiful scenery of the Neckar, be- neath the lofty ruins of Heidelberg, or skimming the placid surface of the Rhine, while, " mellowed by distance," came the rich chorus of a student's melody, filling the air with its flood of song. How delightful, I thought, to be reading the lyrics of Uhland 01 Burger with one so capable of appreciating them with all the hallowed associations of the " Vaterland " about us. " Yes," said I aloud, repeating the well-known line of a German " Lied:" " Bekranzt mit Laub, den lieben vollen Becher." " Upon my conscience," said Mr. Daly, who had for some time past been in silent admiration of my stage-struck appearance " upon my conscience, Mr. Lorrequer, I had no conception you knew Irish." The mighty talisman of the counselor's voice brought me back in a moment to a consciousness of where I was then standing, and the still more unfortunate fact that I was only a subaltern in his majesty's th . " Why, my dear counselor, that was German I was quoting, not Irish." " With all my heart," said Mr. Daly, breaking the top of his third 150 HAHRY LORREQUEIt. egg " with all my heart; I'd rather you'd talk it than me. Mucfc conversation in that tongue, I'm thinking, would be mighty apt to loosen one's teeth." " Not at all, it is the most beautiful language in Europe, and the most musical too. Why, even for your own peculiar taste in such matters, where can you find any language so rich in Bacchanalian songs as the German?" " I'd rather hear the ' Cruiskeen Lawn ' or the ' Jug of Punch,' as my old friend Pat Sampson could sing them, than a score of your high Dutch jaw-breakers." " Shame upon ye, Mr. Daly; and for pathos, for true feeling, where is there anything equal to Schiller's ballads?" " I don't think I ever heard any of his; but if you will talk of ballads," said the counselor, "give me old Mosey McGarry's; what's finer than " and here began, with a most nasal twang and dolorous emphasis, to sing: " ' And I stepp'd up unto her, An' I made a congee An' I ax'd her her pardon, For the making so free.' " And then the next verse, she says: " ' Are you poin' to undo me, In this desert alone?' " There's a shake there." " For heaven's sake," I cried, " stop; when I spoke of ballads, I mever meant such infernal stuff as that, " " I'll not give up my knowledge of ballads to any man breathing," aaid Mr. Daly; "and, with God's blessing, I'll sing you one this evening, after dinner, that will give you a cramp in the stomach." An animated discussion upon lyrical poetry was here interrupted by a summons from our host to set out for the town. My party were, by the desire of the magistracy, to be in readiness near the court house, in the event of any serious disturbance, which there existed but too much reason to fear from the highly excited state of feeling on the subject of the approaching trials. The soldiers were, under the guidance of Mr. Larkins, safely ensconced hi a tan yard, and I myself having consigned them for the present to a non-commissioned officer, was left at perfect liberty to dispose of my time and person as it might please mo. While these arrangements were taking place, I had entirely lost sight of Mr. Daly, under whose guidance and protection I trusted to obtain a place within the bar 1o hear the trials; so that I was now perfectly alone, for my host's numerous avocations entirely preclud- ed any thought of putting myself under his care. My first object was to reach the court-house, and there could be little difficulty in finding it, for the throng of persons in the streets were all eagerly bending their way thither. I accordingly followed With the stream, and soon found myself among an enormous multi- tude of frieze-coated and red-cloake'd people, of both sexes, in a large oper. square, which formed the market-place, one side of which was fiajiked by the court-house for as such I immediately recognized a HARRY LORREQUER. 151 in&ssive-looking gray stone building in which the numerous win- dows, all open and filled with people, exhaled a continued stream from the crowded atmosphere within. To approach it was perfectly impossible: for the square was packed so closely, that as the people approached, by the various streets, they were obliged to stand in the avenues leading to it, and regard what was going on from a dis- tance. Of this large multitude I soon became one, hoping that at length some fortunate opportunity might enable me to obtain admis- sion through some of my legal acquaintances. That the fate of those who were then upon their trial for their live* absorbed the entire feeling of those without, a momentary glance at the hundreds of anxious and careworn faces in the crowd would completely satisfy. Motionless and silent they stood; they felt no fatigue no want of food or refreshment their'interest was one and undivided all their hopes and fears were centered in the events then passing at a short distance from them, but to which their ignorance imparted an additional and more painful excitement the only infor- mation of how matters were going on being by an ocasional word, sometimes a mere gesture from some one stationed in the windows to a friend in the crowd. When the contemplation of this singularly impressive scene was beginning to weary from the irksomeness of my position, I thought of retiring; but soon discovered how impossible was such a step. The crowd had blocked up so completely all the avenues of approach, that even had I succeeded in getting from the market-place, it would be only to remain firmly impacted among the mob in the street. It now also occurred to me, that although I had been assured by Larkins no call could possibly be made upon my services, or those of my party, till after the trial, yet, were that to conclude at any mo- ment, I should be perfectly unable to regain the place where I had stationed them, and the most serious consequences might ensue from the absence of their officer, if the men were required to act. From the time this thought took possession of me, I became exces- sively uncomfortable. Every expression of the people that denoted the progress of the trial, only alarmed me for the conclusion, which, I supposed, might not be distant, and I began, with all my ingenuity, to attempt my retreat, which, after half an hour's severe straggle. I completely abandoned, finding myself scarcely ten yards from where I started. At length, the counsel for the crown, who had been speaking to evidence, ceased ; and an indistinct murmur was heard through the court-house, which was soon repressed by the voice of the crier call- ing " silence." All now seemed still and silent as the grave yet, on listening attentively for some time, you could catch the low tones of a voice speaking, as it appeared, with great deliberation and slowness. This was the judge addressing the jury. In a short time this also ceased ; and, for about half an hour, the silence was perfectly un- broken, and both within and without there reigned one intense and aching sense of anxiety that absorbed every feeling, and imparted to every face an expression of almost agonizing uncertainty. It was, indeed, a space well calculated to excite such emotions. The jury had retired to deliberate upon their verdict. At length a door was heard to open, and the footsteps of the jury, as they resumed their 152 HARRY LORREQUER. place?, sounded through the court, and were heard by those without. Ho\v heavily upon many a stout heart those footsteps fell! They had taken their seats then came another pause after which the monoto- nous tones of the clerk of the court were heard, addressing the jury for their verdict. As the foreman rises every ear is bent every eye- strained every heart-string vibrates : his lips move, but he is not heard; he is desired by the judge to speak louder; the color mounts to his before bloodless face; he appears to labor fora few seconds with a mighty effort, and, at last, pronounces the word, " Guilty, my Lord, all guilty!" I have heard the wild war-whoop of the red Indian, as, in his own pine forest, he has unexpectedly come upon the tiack of his foe, and the almost extinguished hope of vengeance has been kindled again in his cruel heart; I have listened to the scarcely less savage hurrah of a storming party, as they have surmounted the crumbling ruins of a breach, and devoted to fire and sword, with that one yell, all who await them; and once in my life it has been mv fortune to have heard the last yell of defiance from a pirate crew, as they sunk be- neath the raking fire of a frigate, rather than surrender, and went down with a cheer of defiance that rose even above the red artillery that destroyed but could not subdue them; but never, in any or all of these awful moments, did my heart vibrate to such sounds as rent the air when the fatal " Guilty " was heard by those within, and re- peated to those without. It was not grief it was not despair neither was it the cry of sharp and irrepressible anguish, from a suddenly blighted hope ; but it was the long pent-up and carefully concealed burst of feeling which called aloud for vengeance red and reeking revenge upon all who had been instrumental in the sen- tence then delivered. It ceased, and I looked toward the court-house, expecting that an immediate and desperate attack upon the building and those whom it contained would at once take place. But noth- ing of the kind ensued. The mob were already beginning to dis- perse, and before I recovered perfectly from the excitement of these few and terrible moments, the square was nearly empty, and I al- most felt as if the wild and frantic denunciation that still rang through my ears had been conjured up by heated and fevered imagi- nation. AVhen I again met our party at the dinner-table, I could not help feeling surprised on perceiving how little they sympathized hi my feeling for the events of the day; which, indeed, they only alluded to in a professional point of view, criticising the speeches of the counsel on both sides, and the character of the different witnesses who were examined. " Well," said Mr. Daly, addressing our host, "you never could have had a conviction to-day if it wasn't for Mike. He's the best evidence I ever heard. I'd like to know very much how you ever got so clever a fellow completely in your clutches?" " By a mere accident, and very simply," replied the justice. " It was upon one of our most crowded fair-days half the county was in town when the information arrived that the Walshes were mur- dered the night before, at the cross-roads above Telenamuck mills. The news reached me as I was signing some tithe warrants, one of which was against Mickey. I sent for him into the office, knowing HARRY LORREQUER, 153 that, as lie was In the secret of all the evil doings, I might as well pretend to dp him a service, and offer to stop the warrant, out of kindness, as it were. Well, one way or another, he was kept wait- Ing for several hours while I was engaged in writing, and all the country people, as they passed the window, could look hi and see Mickey Sheehan standing before me while I was employed busily writing letters. It was just at this lime that a mounted policeman rode in with the account of the murder; upon which I immediately issued a warrant to arrest the two MacNeils and Owen Shirley upon suspicion. I thought I saw Mike turn pale, as I said the names over to the sergeant of police, and I at once determined to turn it to ac- count ; so I immediately began talking to Mickey about his own. affairs, breaking off, every now and then, to give some directions about the men to be captured. The crowd outside was increasing every instant, and you need not have looked at their faces twice to perceive that they had regarded Mickey as an approver; and the same night that saw the MacNeils in custody witnessed the burning of Phehan's house and haggard, and he only escaped by a miracle over to Curryglass, where, once under my protection, with the imputation upon his character of having turned king's evidence, I had little trou- ble in persuading him that he might as well benefit by the report as enjoy the name without the gain. He soon complied, and the con- victions of this day are partly the result." When the applause which greeted this clever stroke of our host had subsided, I inquired what results might, in all likelihood, follow the proceedings of which I had that day been a witness? "Nothing will be done immediately," replied the justice, "be- cause we have a large force of police and military about us; but let either, or unhappily both be withdrawn, and the cry you heard given in the market-place to-day will be the death-wail for more than one of those who are well and hearty at this moment." The train of thought inevitably forced upon me by all I had been a spectator of during the day but little disposed me to be a partaker in the mirth and conviviality, which, as usual, formed the staple of the assize dinners of Mr. Larkins ; and I accordingly took an early opportunity to quit the company and retire for the night. CHAPTER XXI. A DAY IN DUBLIN. ON the third day of my residence at Curryglass, arrived my friend, Mortimer, to replace me, bringing my leave from the colonel, and a most handsome letter, in which he again glanced at the prospect be- fore me in the Callonby family, and hinted at my destination, which I had not alluded to, adding that if I made the pretense of study hi Germany the reason for my application at the Horse Guards, I should be almost certain to obtain a six months' leave. With what spirits I ordered Stubbes to pack up my portmanteau, and secure our places in the Dublin mail for that night, while I myself hurried to take leave of my kind entertainer and his guests, as well as to recommend to their favor and attention my excellent friend Mortimer, who, being a jovial fellow, not at all hi love, was a happy exchange for me. 154 HARRY LORREQUER. who, despite Daly's capital stories, had spent the last two days in watching the high-road for my successor's arrival. Once more, then, I bade adieu to Curryglass and its hospitable owner, whose labors for " justice to Ireland " I shall long remem- ber, and depositing myself in the bowels of his majesty's mail, gave way to the full current of my hopes and imaginings, which at last ended in a sound and refreshing sleep, from which I only awoke as we drew up at the door of the Hibernian in Dawson-street. Even at that early hour there was considerable bustle and activity of preparation, which I was at some loss to account for, till informed by the waiter that there were upward of three hundred strangers in the house, it being the day of his majesty's expected arrival on his visit to Ireland, and a very considerable section of the county Gal- way being at that moment, with their wives and families, installed, for the occasion, in this, their favorite hotel. Although I had been reading of this approaching event every day for the last three months, I could not help f eeling surprised at the intense appearance of excitement it occasioned, and, in the few min- utes' conversation I held with the waiter, learned the total impossi- bility of procuring a lodging anywhere, and that I could not have a bed, even were I to offer nve guineas for it. Having therefore no inclination to sleep even upon easier terms, I ordered my breakfast to be ready at ten, and set out upon a stroll through the town. I could not help in my short ramble through the streets, perceiving how admirably adapted were the worthy Dublinites for all the hon- ors that awaited them ; garlands of flowers, transparencies, flags, and the other insignia of rejoicing, were everywhere in preparation, and, at the end of Sackville-street, a considerable erection, very much re- sembling an impromptu gallows, was being built, for the purpose, as I afterward learned, of giving the worshipful, the lord mayor, the opportunity of opening the city gates to royalty, creating the obstacle where none existed; being a very ingenious conceit, and considerable Irish into the bargain. I could not help feeling some desire to witness how all should go off, to use the theatrical phrase; but in my anxiety to get on to the continent, I at once abandoned every thought of delay. When I returned to the coffee-room of my hotel, I found it crowded to excess; every little table, originally des- tined for the accommodation of one, having at least two, and some- times three occupants. In my hurried glance round the room, to de- cide where I should place myself, I was considerably struck with the appearance of a stout elderly gentleman with red whiskers, and a high bald forehead ; he had, although the day was an oppressively hot one, three waistcoats on, and by the brown York tan of his long topped boots, evinced a very considerable contempt either for weather or fashion ; in the quick glance of his sharp gray eye, I read that he listened half doubtingly to the narrative of his companion, whose back was turned toward me, but who appeared from the occasional words which reached me, to be giving a rather marvelous and melo- dramatic version of the expected pleasures of the capital. There waa something in the tone of the speaker's voice that I thought I recog- nized; I accordinglv drew near, and what was my surprise to dis- cover my friend T*om O'Flaherty. After our first salutation was over, Tom presented me to hi* friend. Mr. Burke, of somewhere, HAKRY LORREQUER. 155 who, he continued to inform me, in a stage whisper, was a " regular dust," and never in Dublin in his life before. "And so you' say, sir, that his Majesty cannot enter without the permission of the lord mayor?" " And the aldermen, too," replied Tom. "It is an old feudal ceremony; when his majesty comes up to the gate, he demands ad- mission, and the lord mayor refuses, because he would be thus sur- rendering his great prerogative of head of the city; then the alder- men get about him, and cajole him, and by degrees he's won over by the promise of being knighted, and the king gains the day, and enters." " Upon my conscience, a mighty ridiculous ceremony it is, after all," said Mr. Burke, " and very like a bargain for sheep in Ballina- sloe fair, when the buyer and seller appear to be going to fight, till a mutual friend settles the bargain between them." At this moment Mr. Burke suddenly sprung from his chair, which was nearest the window, to look out; I accordingly followed his example, and beheld a rather ludicrous procession, if such it could be called, consisting of so few persons. The principal individual in the group was a florid, fat, happy -looking gentleman of about fifty, with a profusion of nearly white whiskers, which met at his chin, mounted upon a sleek charger, whose half-ambling, half- prancing pace had evidently been acquired by long habit of going in procession ; this august figure was habited in a scarlet coat and cocked hat, having aiguillettes, and all the other appanage of a gen- eral officer; he also wore tight buckskin breeches and high jack- boots, like those of the Blues and Horse Guards; as he looked from side to side with a self-satisfied, contented air, he appeared quite in- sensible of the cortege which followed and preceded him ; the latter, consisting of some score of half-ragged boj's, yelling and shouting with all their might, and the former being a kind of installment in hand of the Dublin Militia Band, and who, in numbers and equip- ment, closely resembled the '' army which accompanies the first ap- pearance of Bombastes." The only difference, that these I speak of did not play " the Rogue's March," which might have perhaps ap- peared personal. As this goodly procession advanced, Mr. Burke's eyes beoame riv- eted upon it; it was the first wonder he had yet beheld, and ho devoured it. " May I ask, sir," said he at length : " who that is?" " Who that is," said Tom, surveying him leisurely as he spoke, " why, surely, sir, you must be jesting, or you would not ask such a question; I trust, indeed, every one knows who he is. Eh, Harry?" said he, looking at me for a confirmation of what he said, and to which of course I assented by a look. " Well, but, my dear Mr. O 'Flaherty, you forget how ignorant I am of everything here " " All, true," said Tom, interrupting; "I forget you never saw him before." " And who is he, sir?" " Why, that's the Duke of Wellington." " Lord have mercy upon me, is it?" said Mr. Burke, as he upset the table and all its breakfast equipage, and rushed through the coffee-room like one possessed. Before I could half recover from 156 HARRY LOHREQUER. the fit of laughing this event threw me into, I heard him as he ran a\ full speed down Dawson-streei, waving hi* hat and shouting out at the top of his lungs, " God bless your grace Long life to your grace Hurrah for the hero of Waterloo; the great captain of the age, " &c., -t as possible; for, when Burke comes back he will be boring me tr dine with him, or some such thing, as a kind of acknowledgment of bis gratitude for showing hum the duke. Do you know he has seen more wonders through my poor instrumentality, within the last three days in Dublin, than a six months' trip to the continent would show most men. I have made him believe that Burke Bethel is Lord Brougham, and I am about to bring him to a soiree at Mi-Ladi's whom he supposes to be the Marchioness of Conyngham. Apropos to the Belissima, let me tell you of a ' good hit 'I was witness to a few nights since; you know, perhaps, old Sir Charles Giesecke, eh?" " 1 have seen him once, 1 think the professor of mineralogy. " " Well, poor old Sir Charles, one of the most modest and retiring men in existence, was standing the other night among the mob, hi one of the drawing-rooms, while a waltzing-party were figuring away, at which, with that fondness for ' la danse ' that characterizes every German of any age, he was looking with much interest, when my lady came tripping up, and the following short dialogue ensued within ear-shot: " ' Ah, mon cher, Sir Charles, ravi de vous voir. But why are you not dancing?' " ' Ah, mi ladi, je ne puis pas, c'est & dire, Ich kann es nicht; I am too old , Ich bin ' " ' Oh, you horrid man; I understand you perfectly. You hate ladies, that is the real reason. You do you know you do. ' ' ' Ah, mi ladi, Gnadige frau; glauben sie mir; 1 do loave de la- dies ; I do adore de sex. Do you know, mi ladi, when I was hi Greenland 1 did keep four womans! 5 " ' Oh, shocking, horrid, vile Sir Charles, how could you tell me such a story? I shall die of it. ' ' 'Ah, mine Gott; mi ladi; sie irren sich, vous vous trompez. You are quite hi mistake; it was only to rmc my boat !' " I leave ynu to guess how my lady's taste for the broadside of my story, and poor Sir Charles's vindication of himself, in regard to his estimation of ' le beau sexe/ armised all who heard it;" as for me, I had to leave the room, half choked with suppressed laughter. And now let us bolt, for I see Burke coming, and, upon my soul , I am tired of telling him lies, and must rest on my oars for a few hours, at least." "But where is the necessity for so doing?" said I; "surely, where there is so much novelty as a large city presents to a visitor, for the first time, there is little occasion to draw upon imagination for your facts." "Ah, my dear Harry, how little do you know of life; there is a Kind of maa whose appetite for the marvelous is such that he must SARRY LORREQUER. . 157 be cfiunmed with miracles or he dies of inanition, and you might as well attempt to feed a tiger upon pdte de fois gras as satisfy him by mere naked, unvarnished truth. I'll just give you an easy illustra- tion; you saw his delight this morning when the ' duke ' rode past; well, I'll tell you the converse of that proposition now. The night before last, having nothing better to do, we went to the theater; the piece was ' La Perouse, ' which they have been playing here for the last two months to crowded houses, to exhibit some North American Indians whom some theatrical speculator brought over ' expres, ' in all the horrors of fur, wampum and yellow ocher. Finding the ' spectacle ' rather uninteresting, I leaned back in my box, and fell into a doze. Meanwhile, my inquiring friend, Mr. Burke, who felt naturally anxious, as he always does, to get au fond at matters, left his place to obtain information about the piece, the author, and above all, the authenticity of the Indians, who certainly astonished him considerably. " Now it so happened that about a fortnight previously some vio- lent passion to return home to their own country had seized these in- teresting individuals, and they felt the most irresistible longing to abandon the ^savage and unnatural condiments of roast beef and Guinness's porter, and resume their ancient and more civilized hab- its of life. In fact, like the old African lady, mentioned by the mis- sionary at the Cape, they felt they could die happy if they ' could only once more have a roast child for supper,' and as such luxuries are dear in this country, stay another week they would not, whatever the consequences might be; the manager reasoned, begged, implored and threatened, by turns; all would not do, go they were deter- mined, and all the unfortunate proprietor could accomplish was, to make a purchase of their properties in fur, belts, bows, arrows, and feathers, and get them away quietly, without the public being the wiser. The piece was too profitable a one to abandon, so he looked about anxiously, to supply the deficiency hi his corps dramatique. For several days nothing presented itself to his thoughts, and the public were becoming more clamorous for the repetition of a drama which had greatly delighted them. "What was to be done? In a mood of doubt and uncertainty the wretched manager was taking his accustomed walk upon the light-house pier, while a number of unfortunate country fellows, bare legged and lanky, with hay ropes fastening their old gray coats around them, were standing beside a packet, about to take their departure for England for the harvest. Their uncouth appearance, their wild looks, their violent gestures, and, above all, their strange and guttural language, for they were all speaking Irish, attracted the attention of the manager; the effect to his professional eye was good, the thought struck him at once. Here were the very fellows he wanted. It was scarcely necessary to alter anything about them, they were ready made to his hand, and in many respects better savages than their prototypes. Through the mediation of some whisky, the appropriate liquor in all treaties of this nature, a bargain was readily struck, and in two hours more ' Hi. -so forty thieves ' were rehearsing upon the classic boards of our theater, and once more La Perouse, in all the glory of red capital letters, shone forth in the morning advertisements. The run of the piece continued unabated; the Indians were the rage; nothing elef 158 HAKilY LOKItEQUEB. was thought or spoken of in Dublin, and already the benefit W Ashewaballagh Ho was announced, who, by the by, was a little fel- low from Martin's estate in Connernara, and one of the drollest doges I ever heard of. Well, it so happened that it was upon one of their nights of performing that I found myself, with Mr. Burke, a spectator of their proceedings. I had fallen into an easy slumber, when a dreadful row in the box lobby roused me from my dream, and the loud cry of 'turn him out,' 'pitch him over,' ' beat his brains out,' and other humane proposals of the like nature, effect- ually restored me to consciousness ; I rushed out of the box into the lobby, and there, to my astonishment, in the midst of a considerable crowd, beheld my friend Mr. Burke, belaboring the box-keeper with all his might with a cotton umbrella of rather unpleasant propor- tions, accompanying each blow with an exclamation of ' Well, are they Connaughtmen, now, you rascal, eh? Are they all west of Athlone; tell me that, now? I wonder what's preventing me beating the soul of ye. ' After obtaining a short cessation of hostilities, and restoring poor Sharkey to his legs, much more dead than alive from pure fright, I learned, at last, the teterrima caiisa belli. Mr. Burke, it seems, had entered into conversation with Sharkey, the box-keeper, s to all the particulars of the theater, and the present piece, but es- pecially as to the real and authentic history of the Indians, whose language, he remarked, in many respects to resemble Irish. Poor Sharkey, whose benefit-night was approaching, thought he might se- cure a friend for life, by imparting to him an important stage secret; and when, therefore, pressed rather closely as to the ' savages' whereabouts, ' resolved to try a bold stroke, and trust his unknown in- terrogator. ' And so you don't really know where they come from, nor can't guess?' 'Maybe, Peru,' said Mr. Burke, innocently. ' Try again, sir, ' said Sharkey, with a knowing grin. ' Is it Behr- ing Straits!' said Mr. Burke. 'What do you think of Galway, sir!" said Sharkey, with a leer intended to cement a friendship for life. The words were no sooner out of his lips than Burke, who immediately took them as a piece of direct insolence to himself and his county, felled him to the earth, and was in the act of continu- ing the discipline when I arrived on the field of battle." CHAPTER XXTT. A NIGHT AT HOWTH. " AND must you really leave us so soon," said Tom, as we issued forth into the street; "why I was just planning a whole week's adventure for you. Town is so full of all kinds of idle people, I think I could manage to make your time pass pleasantly enough." " Of that," I replied, " I have little doubt; but for the reasons I have just mentioned, it is absolutely necessary that I should not lose a moment; and after arranging a few things here, I shall start to- morrow by the earliest packet, and hasten up to London at once." "By Jupiter," said Tom, "how lucky. I just remember some- filing, which comes admirably apropos. You are going to Paris- Is it not so?" "Yes, direct to Paris." HARRY LORREQUEK. 159 44 Nothing could be better. There is a particularly nice person a great friend of mine, Mrs. Bingham, waiitng for several days in hopes of a chaperon to take care of herself and daughter a lovelv girl, only nineteen, you wretch to London, en route to the Conti- nent; the mamma a delightful woman and a widow, with a very sat- isfactory jointure you understand but the daughter, a regular downright beauty, and a ward in chancery, with how many thou- sand pounds, I am afraid to trust myself to say. You must know, then, they are the Binghams of , upon my soul, I forget where; but highly respectable." " I regret 1 have not the pleasure of their acquaintance, and the more because 1 shall not be able to make it now." " As why?" said Tom, gravely. " Because, in the first place, I am so confoundedly pressed for time that I could not possibly delay under any contingency that might arise ; and vour fair friends are, doubtless, not so eagerly de- termined on traveling night and day till they reach Paris. Secondly, to speak candidly, with my present hopes and fears weighing upon my mind, I should not be the most agreeable traveling companion to two ladies with such pretensions as you speak of; and thirdly ' " Confound your thirdly. I suppose we shall have sixteenthly, like a Presbyterian minister's sermon, if I let you go on. Why, they'll not delay you one hour. Mrs. Bingham, man, cares as little for the road, as yourself; and as for your petits soins, I suppose if you get the fair ladies through the custom-house, and see them safe in a London hotel, it is all that will be reqxiired at your hand." " Notwithstanding all you say, I see the downright impossibility of my taking such a charge at this moment, when my own affairs require all the little attention I can bestow ; and when, were I once involved with your fair friends, it might be completely out of my power to prosecute my own plan*." As I said this, we reached the door of a handsome-looking house in Kildare Street : upon which Tom left my arm, and informing me that he desired to drop a card, knocked loudly. " Is Mrs. Bingham at home?" said he, as the servant opened the door. " Xo sir, she's out in the carriage." " Well, you see, Harry, your ill-luck befriends you; for I was re- solved in presenting you to my friends and leaving the rest to its merits." " I can safely assure you that I should not have gone up-stairs," said I. " Little as I know of myself, there is one point of my char- acter I have never been deceived in, the fatal facility by which every new incident or adventure can turn me from following up my best matured and longest digested plans; and as I feel this weakness, and cannot correct it, the next best thing I can do is to fly the causes." " Upon my soul," said Tom, " you have become quite a philoso- pher since we met. There is an old adage which says, ' no king ia ever thoroughly gracious if lie has not passed a year or two in de- thronement,' so I believe your regular lady-killer, yourself for in- stance, becomes a very quiet animal for being occasionally jilted. But now, as you have some commissions to do, pray get done witlj 160 HARRY LORREQUER. them as fast as possible, and let us meet at dinner. Where do you dine to-day?" " Why, upon that point, I am at your service, completely." " Well, then, I have got a plan which I think will suit you. You said you wished to go by Hplyhead, for fear of delay, so, we'll drive down at six o'clock to Skinner's and dine with him on board the packet at Howth. Bring your luggage with you and it will save you a vast deal of fuss and trouble in the morning." Kothing could be better management for me than this, so I ac- cordingly promised acquiescence; and having appointed a rendezvous for six o'clock, bade O'Flaherty good-by, inwardly rejoiced that my plans were so far forwarded, and that I was not to be embarrassed with either Mrs. Bingham or her daughter, for whose acquaintance or society I had no peculiar ambition. My commissions, though not very numerous, occupied the few hours which remained, and it was already a few minutes past six o'clock when I took my stand under the piazza of the post-office to wait for O'Flaherty. I had not long to do so, for immediately after I reached the spot, he arrived in an open barouche and four posters, with three other young men to whom he severally introduced me, but whose names I have totally forgotten; I only remember that two of the party were military men then quartered m town. When I had taken my seat, I could not help whispering to Tom, that although his friend Skinner might be " bon " for a visitation for two at dinner, yet as we were now so strong a party, it might be as well to dine at the hotel. " Oh," said he, "I have arranged all that; I have sent him a special messseuger two hours since, and so make your mind easy we shall not be disappointed, nor be short-taken." Our drive, although a long one, passed quickly over, and before we had reached our destination, I had become tolerably intimate with all the party, who were evidently picked men, selected by O'Flaherty for a pleasant evening. We drove along the pier to the wharf, where the steamer lay, and were received at once by Tom's friend with all the warm welcome and hospitality of a sailor, united with the address and polish of a very finished gentleman. As we descended the companion-ladder to the cabin, my mind became speedily divested of any fears I might have indulged in, as to the want of preparation of "our entertainer. The table was covered with all the appanage of handsome plate and cut glass, while tl.e side-tables glittered with a magnificent dessert, and two large wine-coolers presented an array of champagne necks shining with their leaden cravats that would have tempted an an- chorite. I remember very little else of that evening than the coup d'ceil I have mentioned: besides, were my memory more retentive, I might scruple to -trespass further on my reader's patience by the detaif of those pleasures, which like love-letters, however agreeable to the parties immediately concerned, are very unedifying to all others. I do remember, certainly, that good stories and* capital songs suc- ceeded each other with a rapidity only to be equaled by the pop- ping of corks; and have also a very vague and indistinct recollec- HARRY LORREQUER. 161 tion of a dance round the table, evidently to finish a chorus, but which, it appears, finished me, too, for I saw no more that night. How many men have commemorated the waking sensation of their fellow-men, after a night's debauch; yet at the same time, I am not aware of any one having perfectly conveyed even a passing likeness to the mingled throng of sensations which crowd one's brain on such an occasion. The doubt of what has passed, by degrees yielding to the half -consciousness of the truth, the feeling of shame, inseparable except to the habitually hard-goer, for the events thus dimly pictured, the racking headache and intense thirst with the hor- ror of the potation recently indulged in; the recurring sense of the fun or drollery of a story or an incident which provokes us again to laugh despite the jarring of our brain from the shaking. All this and more most men have felt, and happy are they when their wak- ing thoughts are limited to such, at such times as these the matter becomes considerably worse, when the following morning calls for some considerable exertion, for which, even in your best and calmest moments, you only find yourself equal'. It is truly unpleasant, on rubbing your eyes and opening your ears, to discover that the great bell is ringing the half hour before your quarterly examination at college, while Locke, Lloyd, and Lucian are dancing a reel through your brain, little short of mad- ness ; scarcely less agreeable is it, to learn that your friend Captain Wildfire is at the door in his cab, to accompany you to the Phenix, to stand within twelve paces of a cool gentleman who has been sit- ting with his arm in Eau de Cologne for the last half hour that he may pick you out " artist-like." There are, besides these, innumera- ble situations in which our preparations of the night would appear as none of the wisest ; but I prefer going at once to my own, which, although considerably inferior in difficulty, was not without its own " desagrements." When I awoke, therefore, on board the " Fire-fly," the morning after our dinner-party, I was perfectly unable, by any mental proc- ess within my reach, to discover where I was. On ship-board I felt I must be the narrow berth the gilded and paneled cabin which, met my eye, through my half-open curtains, and that peculiar swell- ing motion inseparable from a vessel in the water, all satisfied me of this fact. I looked about me, but could see no one to give me the least idea of my position. Could it be that we were on our way out to Corfu, and that I had been ill for some time past? But this cabin had little resemblance to a transport; perhaps it might be a frigate. I knew not. Then, again, were we sailing or at anchor? for the chip was nearly motionless. At this instant a tremendous noise like thunder crashed through my head, and for a moment I expected we had exploded, and would all be blown up; but an instant after I discovered it must be the escape of the steam, and that I was on board a packet ship. Here, then, was some clew to my situation, and one which would probably have elicited all ta due season ; but just at this moment a voice on deck saved me from any further calculations. Two persons were conversing whose voices were not altogether unknown to me, but why I knew not. " Then, captain, I suppose you consider this an excellent passage?" " Yes, of course I do," replied the captain; " it's only five hourg 163 HARRY LORREQUER. since we left Howth, and now you see we are nearly in. If we have the run of the tide, we shall reach the head before twelve o'clock." "Ha! ha!" said I to myself, " now I begin to learn something. So we have crossed the channel while I was sleeping not the least agreeable thing for a man to hear who suffers martyrdom from sea- sickness. But let me listen again." " And that large mountain there is that Snowden?" " No. You cannot see Snowden; there is too much mist about it; that mountain is Capel Craig; and there that bold bluff to the eastward, that is Penmen Mawr." " Come, there is no time to be lost," thought I; so springing out of my berth aecoutered as I was, in merely trousers and slippers, with a red handkerchief, fastened night-cap fashion round my head, I took my way through the cabin. My first thought on getting upon my legs was how tremendously the vessel pitched, which I had not remarked while in my berth, but now I could scarcely keep myself from falling at every step. I was just about to call the steward, when I again heard the voices on deck. " You have but few passengers this trip." **" I think only yourself and a Captain Lorrequer," replied the cap- tain, " who, by the by, is losing all this fine coast, which is certainly a great pity." " He shall not do so much longer," thought I; " for as I find that there are no other passengers, I'll make my toilet on deck, and enjoy the view besides." With this determination 1 ascended slowly and cautiously the companion ladder, and stepped out upon the deck; but scarcely had I done so, when a roar of the loudest laughter made me turn my head toward the poop, and there, to my horror of hor- rors, I beheld Tom O 'Flaherty seated between two ladies, whose most vociferous mirth I soon perceived was elicited at my expense. All the party of the preceding night were also there, and as I turned from their grinning faces to the land, I saw to my shame and confusion, that we were still lying beside the pier at Howth ; while the band-boxes, trunks, and imperials of new arrivals were inces- santly pouring in, as traveling carriages kept driving up to the place of embarkation. I stood perfectly astounded and bewildered shame for my ridiculous costume would have made me fly at any other time but there I remained to be laughed at patiently, while that villain O 'Flaherty, leading me passively forward, introduced me to his friends " Mrs. Bingham, Mr. Lorrequer; Mr. Lorrequer, Miss Bingham. Don't be prepossessed against him, ladies, for when not in lore, and properly dressed, he is a marvelously well -looking young gentleman; and as " What the remainder of the sentence might be, I knew not, for I rushed down into the cabin, and locking the door, never opened it until I could perceive from the stern windows that we were really off on our way to England, and recognized once more the laughing face of O 'Flaherty, who, as he waved his hat to his friends from the pier, reminded them that " they were under the care and protection of his friend Lorrequer, who, he trusted, would condescend to uv cre*e his wearing apparel under the circumstances." HAEEY LOKBEQUIfU 163 CHAPTER XXIH. THE JOURNEY. WHEK I did at last venture upon deck, it was with a costume studiously accurate, and as much of manner as I could possibly mus- ter, to endeavor at once to erase the unfortunate impression of my first appearance; this, however, was not destined to be a perfectly successful maneuver, and I was obliged after a few minutes to join the laugh, which I found could not be repressed, at my expense. One good result certainly followed from all this. I became almost immediatelv on intimate terms with Mrs. Bingham and her daugh- ter, and much of the awkwardness in my position as their chaperon, which bon-yre mal-gre I was destined to be, was at once got over. Mrs. Bingham herself was of that " genre " of widow, which comes under the " fat, fair, and forty " category, with a never-ceasing flow of high, almost boisterous, spirits an excellent temper, good health and a well-stocked purse. Life to her was like a game of her favorite " speculation." When as she believed the " company hon- est," and knew her cards trumps, she was tolerably easy for the result. She liked Kingstown she liked short whist she liked the military she liked the "junior bar," of which she knew a good number she had a well-furnished house in Kildare-street and a well-cushioned pew in St. Anne's; she was a favorite at the castle and Dr. Labatt " knew her constitution." Why, with all these ad- vantages, she should ever have thought of leaving the "happy valley " of her native city, it was somewhat hard to guess. Was it that thoughts of matrimony, which the continent held out more pros- pect for, had invaded the fair widow's heart? Was it that the altered condition to which politics had greatly reduced Dublin had effected this change of opinion? or was it like that indescribable longing for the unknown something, which we read of in the pathetic history of the fair lady celebrated, I believe, by Petrarch, but 1 quote from memory: " Mrs. Gill is very ill, Nothing can improve her, But to see the Tuillerie, And waddle through the Louvre." None of these, I believe, however good and valid reasons in them- selves, were the moving powers upon the present occasion; the all- suflicient one being that Mrs. Bingham had a daughter. Now Miss Bingham was Dublin, too but Dublin of a later edition and a finer, more hot-pressed copy than her mamma. She had been educated at Mrs. Somebody's seminary, in Mount joy-square had been taught to dance by Montagu and had learned French from a Swiss gov- erness with a number of similar advantages a very pretty figure dark eyes long eye-lashes and a dimple and last, but of course least, the deserved reputation of a large fortune. She had made a most successful debut in the Dublin world, where she was much ad- mired and nattered, and which soon suggested to her quick mind, as 164 HARKY LOKKEQUER. It lias often done in similar cases to a young provincial debutante, not to waste her " fraicheur " upon the minor theaters, but at once to appear upon the " great boards;" so far evidencing a higher flight of imagination and enterprise, than is usually found among the clique of her early associates, who may be characterized as that school of young ladies who like the " Corsair " and Dunleary, and say, " Ah, don't!" She possessed much more common sense than her mamma, and promised, under proper advantages, to become speedily quite suffi- ciently acquainted with the world and its habitudes. In the mean- while, I perceived that she ran a very considerable risk of being car- ried off by some mustached Pole, with a name like a sneeze, who might pretend to enjoy the entree into the fashionable circles of the continent. Very little study of my two fair friends enabled me to see thus much; and very little " usage " sufficed to render me speedily in- timate with both; the easy bonhomie of the marnma, who had a very methodistical appreciation of what the " connection " call " creature comforts," amused me much, and opened one ready path to her good graces by the opportunity afforded of getting up a luncheon of veal cutlets and London porter, of which I partook, not a little to the loss of the fair daughter's esteem. While, therefore, I made the tour of the steward's cell in search of Harvey's sauce, I brushed up my memory of the Corsair and Childe Harold, and alternately discussed Stilton and Southey, Lover and lobsters, Haynes Bayley and ham. The day happened to be particularly calm and delightful, so that we never left the deck ; and the six hours which brought us from land to land quickly passed over in this manner; and ere we reached " the Head " I had become the warm friend and legal adviser of the mother; and with the daughter I was installed as chief confidant of all her griefs and sorrows, both of which appointments cost me a solemn promise to take care of them till their arrival in Paris, where they had many friends and acquaintances awaiting them. Here, then, as usual, was the invincible facility with which I gave myself up to any one who took the trouble to influence me. One thing, nevertheless, 1 was determined on to let no. circumstance defer my arrival at Paris a day later than was possible ; therefore, though my office as chaperon might diminish my comforts en route, it should not interfere with the object before me. Had my mind not been so completely engaged with my own immediate prospects, when hope, suddenly and unexpectedly revived, had become so tinged with fears and doubts as to be almost torture, I must have been much amused with my present position, as I found myself seated with my two friends, rolling along through Wales in their comfortable traveling carriage giving all the orders at the different hotels seeing after the luggage and acting en maitre in every respect. The good widow enjoyed particularly the difficulty which my pre- cise position, with regard to her and her daughter, threw the differ- ent innkeepers on the road into, sometimes supposing me to be her husband, sometimes her son, and once her son-in-law ; which very alarming conjecture brought a crimson tinge to the fair daughter's HARRY LORREQTJER. 165 cheek, fin expression, which, in my ignorance, I thought looked very like an inclination to faint in my arms. At length we reached London, and having been there safely in- stalled at " Mivart's," I sallied forth to present my letter to the Horse Guards, and obtain our passport for the continent. '" Number nine, Poland-street, sir," said the waiter, as I inquired the address of the French consul. Having discovered that my in- terview with the commander-in-chief was appointed for four o'clock, I determined to lose no time, but make every possible arrangement for leaving London in the morning. A cab quietly conveyed me to the door of the cons\il, around which stood several other vehicles, of every shape and fashion, while in the doorway were to be seen numbers of people, thronging and pressing, like the Opera pit on a full night. Into the midst of this assemblage I soon thrust myself, and, borne upon the current, at length reached a small back parlor, filled also with people ; a door opening into an- other small room in the front, showed a similar mob there, with the addition of a small elderly man, in a bag wig and spectacles, very much begrimed with snuff, and speaking in a very choleric tone to the various" applicants for passports, who, totally ignorant of French, insisted upon interlarding their demands with an occasional stray phrase, making a kind of tessellated pavement of tongues, which would have shamed Babel. Nearest to the table at which the func- tionary sat, stood a mustached gentleman, in a blue frock and white trousers, a white hat jauntily set upon one side of his head, and primrose gloves. He cast a momentary glance of a very under- valuing import upon the crowd around him, and then, turning to the consul, said, in a very soprano tone: "Passport, monsieur!" '" Que voulez vous que je fasse," replied the old Frenchman, gruffly. " Je suis j'ai that is, donnez moi passport." " Where do you go?" replied the consul. "Calai." " Comment diable, speak Inglis, and I understan you as besset. Your name?" " Lorraine Snaggs, gentilhomme. " " What age have you? how old?" "Twenty-two." " C'est ca," said the old consul, flinging the passport across the table, with the air of a man who thoroughly comprehended the ap- plicant's pretension to the designation of gentilhomme Anglais. As I followed the worthy representative of Seven-dials with my eye, another person had neared the table. She was a rather pretty young woman, with blue eyes, and brown hair braided quietly on her forehead, and wearing a plain close bonnet of a very coquettish appearance. "Will you be seated, ma'mselle?" said the polite old French- man, who had hitherto been more like a bear than a human being. " Oft allez vous done; where to, ma chfire?" " To Paris, sir." " By Calais?" " No, sir, by Boulogne " 166 HARKY LORREQUER. ' O'est bon; quel fige avez vous? What old, ma belle?" ' Nineteen, sir, in June." ' And are you alone, quite, eh?" ' No, sir, my little girl." ' Ah! your leetle girl c'est fort bien ,ie m'ape^ois; and your name?" ' Fanny Lin wood, sir." 'C'est flni, ma chere, Mademoiselle Fanni Linwood," said the old man as he wrote down the name. " Oh, sir, I beg your pardon, but you have put me down Made- moiselle; and and you see, sir, 1 have my little girl." " A c'est egal, ma'mselle, they don't mind these things in France au plaisir de vous voir. Adieu." " They don't mind these things in France," said I to myself, re- peating the old consul's phrase, which I could not help feeling as a whole chapter on his nation. My business was soon settled, for I spoke nothing but English veiy little knowledge of the world teaching me that when we have any favor, however slight, to ask, it is always good policy to make the amende by gratifying the amour propre of the granter if, hap- pily, there be an opportunity for so doing. When I returned to Mivart's, I found a written answer to my let- ter of the morning, stating that his lordship of the Horse Guards was leaving town that afternoon, but would notMelay my departure for the Continent, to visit which a four months' leave was granted me, with a recommendation to study at Weimar. The next day brought us to Dover, in time to stroll about the cliffs, during the evening, when I again talked sentiment with the daughter till very late. The madame herself was too tired to come out, so that we had our walk quite alone. It is strange enough how quickly this traveling together has shaken us into intimacy. Isabella say_s ehe feels as if I were her brother; and I begin to think myself she is not exactly like a sister. She has a marvelously pretty foot and ankle. The climbing of cliffs is a very dangerous pastime. How true the French adage " C'est plus facile de gliaser sur^ la gazon que sur la, glace." But still nothing can come of it; for if Lady Jane be not false, I must consider myself an engaged man. "Well, but I hope," said I, rousing myself from a reverie of some minutes, and inadvertently pressing the arm which leaned upon me " your mamma will not be alarmed at our long absence?" " Oh, not in the least, for she knows I'm with you." And here I felt a return of the pressure perhaps also inadvertently given, but which, whether or not, effectually set all my reasonings and calculations astray; and we returned to the hotel, silent on both sides. The appearance of la che"re mamma, beside the hissing tea-urn, brought us both back to ourselves, and, after an hour's chatting, we wished good-night, to start on the morrow for the Continent. HARRY LORREQUER. 167 CHAPTER XXIV. CALAIS. IT was upon a lovely evening in autumn, as the Dover steamboat rounded the wooden pier at Calais, amid a fleet of small boats filled with eager and anxious faces, soliciting, in every species of bad English and "patois" French, the attention and patronage of the passengers. " Hotel de Bain, milor'." "Hotel d'Angleterre," said another, in a voice of the most im- posing superiority. " C'est superbe pretty well." " Hotel du Nord, votre Excellence remise de poste and ' delays' (quere relays) at all hoxirs. ' ' " Commissionnaire, miladi," sung out a small strill treble from the midst of a crowded cock-boat, nearly swamped beneath our paddle- wheel. What a scene of bustle, confusion, and excitement does the deck of a steamer present upon such an occasion. Every one is running hither or thither. " Sauve qui peut " is now the watchword ; and friendships, that promised a life-long endurance only half an hour ago, find here a speedy dissolution. The lady who slept all night upon deck, enveloped in the folds of your Astracan cloak, scarcely deigns an acknowledgment of you, as she ad- justs her ringlets before the looking-glass over the stove in the cabin. The polite gentleman, that would have flown for a reticule or a smelling-bottle upon the high seas, won't leave his luggage in the harbor; and the gallantry and devotion that stood the test of half a gale of wind and a wet jacket, is not proof when the safety of a carpet-bag or the security of a " Mackintosh " is concerned. And thus here, as elsewhere, is prosperity the touchstone of good feeling. All the various disguises which have been assumed per viaggio, are here immediately abandoned, and, stripped of the travel- ing costume of urbanity and courtesy, which they put on for the voy- age, they stand forth in all the unblushing front of selfishness and self-interest. Some tender scenes yet find their place amid the debris of this chaotic state. Here may be seen a careful mother adjusting innu- merable shawls and handkerchiefs round the throat of a sea-green young lady with a cough ; her maid is at the same instant taking a tender farewell of the steward in the after-cabin. Here is a very red- faced and hot individual, with punch-colored breeches and gaiters, disputing " one brandy too much " in his bill, and vowing that the company shall hear of it when he returns to England. There, a tall, elderly woman, with a Scotch-gray eye, and a sharp cheek-bone, is depositing within her muff various seizable articles, that, until now had been lying quietly in her trunk. Yonder, that raw-looking young gentleman, with the crumpled frock-coat, and loose cravat, and sea-sick visage, is asking every one, " if they think he may land without a passport." You scarcely 1G8 HARRY LORREQUER. recognize him for the cigar-smoking dandy of yesterday, that talked as if he had lived half his life on the Continent. While there, a rather pretty girl is looking intently at some object in the blue water, beside the rudder post, louare surprised you cannot make it out; but then, she has the advantage of you, for the tall, well-looking man, with the knowing whiskers, is evidently whispering something into her ear. ' Steward, this is not my trunk mine was a leather " ' All the ' leathers ' are gone in the first boat, sir." ' Most scandalous way of doing business." ' Trouble you for two-and sixpence, sir." ' There's Matilda coughing again," says a thin, shrewish woman, with a kind of triumphant scowl at her better half; " but you teovM have her wear that thin shawl ! : ' " Whatever may be the fault of the shawl, I fancy no one will re- proach her ankles for thinness," murmurs a young Guardsman, as he peeps up the companion-ladder. Amid all the Babel of tongues and uproar of voices, the thorough bass of the escape steam keeps up its infernal thunders, till the very brain reels, and, sick as you have been, of the voyage, you half wish yourself once more at sea, if only to have a moment of peace and tranquillity. Numbers now throng the deck who have never made their ap- pearance before. Pale, jaundiced, and crumpled, they have all the sea-sick look and haggard cheek of the real martyr all except one, a stout, swarthy, brown-visaged man of about forty, with a frame of iron, and a voice like the fourth string of a violoncello. You wonder why he should have taken to his bed: learn, then, that he is his Majesty's courier from the foreign office, going with dispatches to Constantinople; and that, as he is not destined to lie down in a bed for the next fourteen days, he is glad even of the narrow resemblance to one he finds in the berth of a steamboat. At length you are on shore, and marched off in a long string, like a gang of convicts to the Bureau de 1'octroi, and here is begun an examination of the lug- gage, which promises, from its minuteness, to last for the three months you destined to spend in Switzerland. At the end of an hour you discover that the soidisnni commissionnaire will transact all this affair for a few francs; and, after a tiresome wait in a filthy room, jostled, elbowed, and trampled upon, by boors with sabots, you ad- journ to your inn, and begin to feel that you are not in England. Our little party had but few of the miseries here recounted to con- tend with. My " savoir faire," with all modesty be it spoken, has been long schooled hi the art and practice of traveling: and while our less experienced fellow-travelers were deep in the novel mysteries of cotton stockings and petticoats, most ostentatiously displayed upon every table of the Bureau, we were comfortably seated in the hand- some saloon of the Hotel du Nord, looking out upon a pretty grass plot surrounded with orange trees, and displaying in the middle a jet d'eau about the size of a walking-stick. " Now, Mr. Lorrequer," said Mrs. Bingham, as she seated herself by the open window ' ' never forget how totally dependent we are upon your kind offices. Isabella has discovered already that the French of Mountjoy-square, however intelligible in that neighbor HARRY LORREQUER. 169 , and even as far as Mount-street, is Coptic and Sanscrit here; and as for myself, I intend to affect deaf and dumbness till I reach. Paris, where I hear every one can speak English a little." "Now, then, to begin my functions," said I, as I rung for the waiter, and ran over in my mind rapidly how many invaluable hints for ray new position my present trip might afford me, " always pro- vided' Cas the lawyers say), that Lady Jane Callonby might feel her- self tempted to become my traveling companion, in which case But, confound it, how I am castle-building again. Meanwhile, Mrs. Bingham is looking as hungry and famished as though she would eat the waiter. "Ha! this is the ' carte.' ' ' Allons faire petit souper." ' Cotelletes d'agneau." ' Maionnaise d'homard." ' Perdreaux rouges aux truffes mark that, aux truffes." ' Gelee au maraschin. " ' And the wine, sir," said the waiter, with a look of approval at my selection, " Champagne no other wine, sir?" " No," said I, " Champagne only; frappe de glace, of course," I added, and the waiter departed with a bow that would have graced St. James's. As long as our immaterial and better part shall be doomed to keep company with its fleshy tabernacle, with all its attendant miseries of gout and indigestion, how much of our enjoyment in this world is dependent upon the mere accessory circumstances by which the business of life is carried on and maintained, and to despise which is neither good policy nor sound philosophy. In this conclusion a somewhat long experience of the life of a traveler has fully estab- lished me. And nowhere does it press more forcibly upon the mind than when first arrived in a continental inn, after leaving the best hotels in England still fresh in your memory. I do not for a moment dispute the very great superiority in comfort of the latter, by which I would be understood to mean all those resemblances to one's own home which an English hotel so eminently possesses, and every other one so markedly wants, but I mean that in contrivances to elevate the spirit, cheer the jaded and tried wayfarer by objects which, how- ever they may appeal to tho mere senses, seem, at least, but little ensual, give me a foreign inn ; let me have a large spacious saloon, with its lofty walls and its airy, large paned windows (1 shall not object if the cornices and moldings be gilded, because such is usually the case) let the sun and heat of a summer's d&y come tempered through the deep lattices of a well-fitting ' ja.ousie," bearing upon them the rich incense of a fragrant ora ge tree in blossom and the sparkling drops of a neighboring fountain, the gentle plash of which is faintly audible amid the hum of a drone-bee let such be the " agremens " without while within, let the more substantial joys of the table await, in such guise as only a French cuisine can present them give me these, I say, and I shall never sigh for the far-famed and long deplored comforts of a box in a coffee-room, like a pew hi a parish church, though certainly not so well cushioned, and fully as dull, with a hot waiter and a cold beefsteak the only thing higher than your game being your bill, and the only thing less drinkable than your port being the porter. 170 HARRY LORREQTJER. With such exotic notions, figurez rous, my dear reader, whether o* not I felt happy as I found myself seated between my two fan* friends doing the honors of a little supper, and assisting the exhilar- ation of our champagne by such efforts of wit as, under favortxe cir- cumstances like these, are ever successful and which, being like the foaming liquid which washes them down, to be swallowed with- out waiting, are ever esteemed good, from the excitement that results, and never seriously canvassed for any more sterling merit. Nothing ever makes a man so agreeable as a belief that he is so : and certainly my fair companions appeared to have the most excellent idea of my powers in that respect; and I fancy that I made more ban mots, hit off more epigrams and invented more choice incidents on that happy evening, than, if now remembered, would suffice to pay my tailor's bill, when collated for Bentley's Miscellany, and illustrated by Cruik- shank. Alas! that, like the good liquor that seasoned them, 'both are tone by, and I am left but to chronicle the memory of the fun in ullness, and counterfeit the effervescence of the grape jui'ce, by soda-water. One thing, however, is certain we formed a most agreeable party; and if a feeling of gloom ever momentarily shot through my m'ind, it was, that evenings like these came so rarely in this work-a-day world that each such should be looked on as our last. " If I had not already shown myself up to my reader as a gargon volage of the first water, perhaps I should now hesitate about confess- ing that 1 half regretted the short space during which it should be my privilege to act as the guide and mentor of my two friends. The impetuous haste which I before felt necessary to exercise in reaching Paris immediately, was now tempted by prudent thoughts about traveling at night, and reflections about sun-'stroke by day; and even moments most devoted to the object of my heart's aspirations were fettered by the very philosophic idea, that it could never detract from the pleasure of the happiness that awaited me, if I traveled on the primrose path to its attainment. I argued thus : if Lady Jane be true if if, in a word, I am destined to have any success in the Cal- lonby family, then will a day or two more not risk it. My present friends I shall, of course, take leave of at Paris, where their own acquaintances await them ; and on the other hand, should I be doomed once more to disappointment, I am equally certain I should feel no disposition to form a new attachment. Thus did I reason, and thus I believed ; and though I was a kind of consultation opinion among my friends in " suits of love," I was really then unaware that at no time is a man so prone to fall in love, as immediately after his being jilted. If common sense will teach us not to dance a bolero upon a sprained ankle, so might it also convey an equally important lesson, not to expose our more vital inflammatory organ to the fire the day after its being singed. Reflections like these did not occur to me at this moment; besides that, I was " going the pace " with a forty-horse power of agree- ability that left me little time for thought least of all, if serious. So stood matters. I had just filled our tall slender glasses with the creaming and " petillan " source of wit and inspiration, when the loud crack, crack, crack of a postilion's whip, accompanied by the shaking trot of a heavy team, and the roll of wheels, announced a HARRY LORREQUER. 171 new arrival. " Here they come," said I; " only look at them four horses and one postilion, all apparently straggling and straying after their own fancy, but yet going surprisingly straight, notwithstand- ing. See how they come through that narrow archway it might puzzle the best four-in-hand in England to do it better."" ' ' What a handsome young man, if he had not those odious mus- taches. Why, Mr. Lorrequer, he knows you : see he is bowing to you." "Me? Oh! no. Why, surely, it must be the devil it is Killcce, Lady Jane's brother. I know his temper well. One five minutes' observation of my present intimacy with my fair friends, and adieu to all hopes for me of calling Lord Callonby my father-in-law. There is not, therefore, a moment to lose." As these thoughts revolved through my mind, the confusion I felt had covered my face with scarlet; and with a species of blundering apology for abruptly leaving them for a moment, I ran down stairs only in time sufficient to anticipate Kilkee's questions as to the num- ber of my apartments, to which he was desirous of proceeding at once. Our first greetings over, Kilkee questioned me as to my route adding, that his now was necessarily an undecided one, for if his family happened not to be at Paris, he should be obliged to seek after them among the German watering-places. " In any case, Mr. Lorrequer," said he, " we shall hunt them in couples. I must insist upon your coming along with me." "Oh! that," said I, " you must not think of. Your carriage is a coupe, and I cannot think of crowding you." " Why, you don't seriously want to affront me, I hope; for I flat- ter myself that a more perfect carriage for two people cannot be built. Hobson made it on a plan of my own, and I am excessively proud of it, I assure you. Come, that matter is decided now for supper. Are there many English here just now? By-the-bye, those new ' natives ' I think I saw you standing with on the balcony who are they?" "Oh! the ladies oh! yes, people I came over with " "One was pretty. ] fancied. Have you supped? Just order something, will you meanwhile, I shall write a few lines before the post leaves." Saying which he dashed up stairs after the waiter, and left me to my meditations. " This begins to be pleasant," thought T, as the door closed, leav- ing me alone in the " saloon." In circumstances of such moment, I had never felt so nonplussed as now, how to decline Kilkee's invi- tation, without discovering my intimacy with the Binghams and yet I could not, by any possibility, desert them thus abruptly. Such was the dilemma. "I see but one thing for it," said I, gloomily, as I strode through the coffee-room, with my head sunk and my hands behind my back " 1 see but one thing left I must be taken ill to- night, and not be able to leave my bed in the morning a fever a contagious fever blue and red spots all over me and be raving wildly before breakfast time; and if ever any discovery takes place of my intimacy above stairs, I must only establish it as a premoni- tory symptom of insanity, which seized me in the packet. And now for a doctor that will understand my case, and listen to reason, u they would call it in Ireland." With this idea uppermost, I walked J72 HARRY LORREQUER. Dut into the court-yard to look for a commissioimaire to guide me ia my search. Around on every .ide of me stood the. various carriages &nd voitures of the hotel and its inmates, to the full as distinctive and peculiar in character as their owners. " Ah ! there is Kilkee's," said I, as my eye lighted upon the well-balanced and elegant little car- riage which he had been only with justice encomiumizing. " It is certainly perfect, and yet I'd give a handful of louis-d'ors if it was like that venerable cabriolet yonder, with the one wheel and no shafts. But, alas! those springs give little hope of a break-down, and that confounded axle will outlive the patentee. But still, can nothing be done? eh? Come, the thought is a good one I say, gay garcon, who greases the wheels of the carriages here?" '" C'est moi, monsieur," said a great oaf, in wooden shoes and a blouse. " Well, then, do you understand these?" said I, touching the patent axle-boxes with my cane. He shook his head. " Tnen who does, here?" " Ah! Michael understands them perfectly." " Then bring him here," said I. In a few minutes, a little, shrewd old fellow, with a smith's apron, made his appearance, and introduced himself as M. Michael. I had not much difficulty in making him master of my plan, which was, to detach one of the wheels, as if for the purpose of oiling the axle, and afterward render it incapable of being replaced at least for twenty-four hours. " This is my idea," said I; " nevetherless, do not be influenced by me. All I ask is, disable the carriage from proceedings to-morrow, and here are three louis-d'ors at your service." " Sovez bien tranquille, monsieur, mi lor shall spend to-morrow, in Calais, if I know anything of my art;" saying which he set out in search of his tools, while I returned to the saloon with my mind relieved, and fully prepared to press the urgency of my reaching Paria without any delay. " Well, Mr. Lorrequer," said Kilkee, as I entered, " here is supper waiting, and I am as hungry as a wolf." "Oh! I beg pardon I've been getting everything in readiness for our start to morrow morning, for I have not told you how anx- ious I am to get to Paris before the 8th some family business which requires my looking after, compelling me to do so. ' ' As to that, let your mind be at rest, for I shall travel to-morrow night, if you prefer it. Now for the Volnay. Why, you are not drinking your wine. What do you say to our paying our respects to the fair ladies above stairs? I am sure the petits soins you have prac- ticed coming over would permit the liberty. ' ' " Oh! hang it, no. There's neither of them pretty, and I should rather avoid the risk of making a regular acquaintance with them," said I. " As you like, then only, as you'll not take any wine, let us have a stroll through the town." After a short stroll through the town, in which Kilkee talked the entire time, but of what I know not, my thoughts being upon my own immediate concerns, we returned to the hotel. As we entered HAKEY LORREQUER. 178 the porte coch&re, my friend Michael passed me, and as he took off his hat in salutation, gave me one rapid glance of his knowing eye, that completely satisfied me that Hobson's pride in my friend's carriage had by that time received quite sufficient provocation to throw him into an apoplexy. " By-the-byc," said I, " let us see your carriage. I am curious to look at it " (and so I was). " Well, then, come along, this way; they have placed it under some of the sheds, which they think coach-houses." I followed my friend through the court till we arrived near the fatal spot ; but before reaching, he had caught a glimpse of the mis- chief, and shouted out a most awful imprecation upon the author of the deed which met his eye. The fore- wheel of the coupe had been taken from the axle, and in the difficulty of so doing, from the ex- cellence of the workmanship, two of the spokes were broken the patent box was a mass of bent metal, and the end of the axle turned downward like a hoe. I cannot convey any idea of poor Kilkee's distraction; and, in reality, my own was little short of it ; for the wretch had so far out- stripped my orders, that I became horrified at the cruel destruction be- fore me. We both, therefore, stormed in the most impossible English and French, first separately and then together. We offered a reward for the apprehension of the culprit, whom no one appeared to know, although, as it happened, eveiy one in a large household was aware of the transaction but the proprietor himself. We abused all the innkeeper, waiters, hostlers and chambermaids, collectively and indi- viduallycondemned Calais as a den of iniquity, and branded all Frenchmen as rogues and vagabonds. This seemed to alleviate con- siderably my friend's grief, and excite my thirst fortunately, per- haps, for us ; for if our eloquence had held out much longer, I am afraid our auditory might have lost their patience ; and, indeed, I am quite certain if our French had not been in nearly as disjointed a condition as the spokes of the caUcJie, such must have been the case. " Well, Mr. Lorrequer, I suppose, then, we are not destined to be fellow-travelers for if you must go to-morrow " " Alas! it is imperative," said I. " Then, in any case, let us arrange where we shall meet, for I hope to be in Paris the day after you." "I'll stop at Meurice. "" " Meurice be it," said he, " so now good- night, till we meet in Paris." CHAPTER XXV. THE GENDAKME. I HAD, fortunately, sufficient influence upon my fair friends to persuade them to leave Calais early on the morning following: andl two hours before Kilkee had opened his eyes upon this mortal life, we were far upon the road to Paris. Having thus far perfectly succeeded in my plot, my spirit rose rapidly, and I made everv exertion lo make the road appear short to my fellow-travelers. This part of France la unfortunately deficient 174: HARRY LORREQUER. in any interest from scenery; large undivided tracts of waving corn-fields, with a back-ground of apparently interminable forests, and occasionally, but rarely, the glimpse of some o]d time-worn chateau, with is pointed gable and terraced walk, are nearly all that the eye can detect in the intervals between the small towns and vil- lages. Nothing, however, is "flat or unprofitable" to those who desire to make it otherwise; good health, good spirits, and fine weather, are wonderful traveling companions, and render one toler- ably independent of the charms of scenery. Every mile that sepa- rated me from Calais, and took away the chance of being overtaken, added to my gayety, and I flatter myself that a happier party have rarely traveled that well frequented road. We reached Abbeville to dinner, and adjourned to the beautiful little garden of the inn for our coffee; the evening was so delightful that I proposed to walk on the Paris road, until the coining up^bf the carriage, which required a screw, or a washer, or some such trifle as always occurs in French posting. To this la chere mamma objected, she being tired, but added, that Isabella and I might go on, and that Bhe would take us up in half an hour. This was an arrangement so very agreeable and unlocked for by me, that I pressed Miss Binghnm as far as I well could, and at last succeeded in overcoming her scru- ples, and permitting me to shawl her. One has always a tremendous power of argument with the uninitiated abroad, by a reference to a standard of manners and habits totally different from our own. Thus the talismanic words "Oh! don't be shocked; remember you are in France," did more to satisfy my young friend's mind than all I could have said for an hour. Little did she know that in England only has an unmarried young lady any liberty, and that the stand- ard of foreign propriety on this head is far, very far, more rigid than our own." " La premiere rue 3, gauche," said an old man, of whom I in- quired the road; " et puis," added I. " And then quite straight ; it is a chaussee all the way, and you cannot mistake it." " Now for it, Mademoiselle," said I. " Let us try if we cannot see a good deal of the country before the carriage comes up." We had soon left the town behind and reached a beautifully shaded high-road, with blossoming fruit trees, and honeysuckle-cov- ered cottages; there had been several light showers, during the day, and the air had all the fresh, fragrant feeling of an autumn evening, BO tranquilizing and calming that few there are who have not felt, at some time or other of their lives, its influence upon their minds. I fancied my fair companion did so, for, as she walked beside me, her silence, and the gentle pressure of her arm, were far more elo- quent than words. If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now and then seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a pretty girl for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whose thoughts, as far as you can guess at least, are traveling the same path with your own if this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena, then do I swear by Mepmer, whatever it be, de- lusion or otherwise, it has given me the brightest moments of my life these are the real " winged dreams " of pleasures which outlive HARRY LORREQI7ER. 175 Others of more absorbing and actual interest at the time. After all, for how many of our happiest feelings are we indebted to the weak- ness of our nature! The man that is wise at nineteen, " Je Ten fais mon compliment," but I assuredly do not envy him; and now, even now, when I number more years than I should like to " confess," rather than suffer the suspicious watchfulness of age to creep on me, I prefer to " go on 'believing," even though every hour of the day should show me duped and deceived. While I plead guilty to this impeachment, let me show in mitigation, that it has its enjoyments first, although I am the most constant and devoted man breathing, as a very cursory glance at these Confessions may prove, yet I have never been able to restrain myself from a propensity to make love, merely as a pastime. The gambler that sits down to play cards, or hazard against himself, may perhaps be the only person that can comprehend this tendency of mine. We both of us are playing for nothing (or love, which I suppose is synonymous) ; we neither of us put forth our strength; for that very reason, and in fact like the waiter at Vauxhall, who was complimented upon the dexterity with which he poured out the lemonade, and confessed that he spent his mornings "practicing with vater," we pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic warfare, which, if it seem unprofitable, is nevertheless, pleasant. After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceed? We had fallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had so rapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed to engender. Our attempts to analyze the reasons for, and the nature of the friendship thus so suddenly established a rather dangerous and difficult topic, when the parties are both young one eminently handsome, and the other disposed to be most agree- able. Oh, my dear young friends of either sex, whatever your feel- ings be for one another, keep them to yourselves ; I know of nothing half so hazardous us that " comparing of notes " which sometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful thing in mathematics or chemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied to the " functions -of the heart." " Mamma appears to have forgoten us," said Isabella, as she spoke, after walking for some time in silence beside ine. " Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair; but are you tired?" " Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but " " Then perhaps you are ennuyee," said I, half pettishly, to pro- yoke a disclaimer if possible. To this insidiously put query I re- ceived, as I deserved, no answer, and again we sauntered on without speaking. " To whom does that chateau belong, my old friend?" said I, ad- dressing a man on the roadside. " A Monsieur le Marquis, sir," replied he, " But what's his name, though?" " Ah, that I can't tell you," replied the man again. There you may perceive how, even yet, in provincial France, the old respect for the aristocracy still survives; it is sufficient that the possessor of that fine place is " Monsieur le Marquis;" but any other Knowledge of who he is, and what, is superfluous. " How far are we irom the next vii';i?,e, do you know?" 176 HARRY LORREQUEB. " About a league." " Indeed. Wny I thought ' La Scrape ' was quite near m'* " Ah, you are thinking of the Amiens road?" " Yes, of course; and is not this the Amiens road?" " Oh, no; the Amiens road lies beyond those low hilla to the right. You passed the turn at the first ' barriere.' " " Is it possible we could have come wrong?" " Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, don't say so, I entreat you!" " And what road is this, then, my friend?" " This is the road to Albert and Peronne." " Unfortunately, I believe he is quite right. Is there any cross- road from the village before us now to the Amiens road?" " Yes; you can reach it about three leagues hence." " And we can get a carriage at the inn, probably?" " Ah, that I am not sure of. Perhaps at the Lion d'Oryou may." " But why not go back to Abbeville?" " Oh, Mrs. Bingham must have left long since, ar/1 besides you forget the distance; we have been walking two hours. " " Now for the village," said I, as I drew my friend's arm closer within mine, and we set out in a fast walk. Isabella seemed terribly frightened at the whole affair; what her mamma might think, and what might be her fears at not finding us on the road, and a hundred other encouraging reflections of this nature she poured forth unceasingly. As for myself, I did not know well what to think of it; my old fondness for adventure being ever sufficiently strong in me to give a relish to anything which bore the least resemblance to one. This I now concealed, and sympa- thized with my fair friend upon our mishap, and assuring her, at the same time, that there could be no doubt of our overtaking Mrs. Bingham before her arrival at Amiens. " Ah, there is the village in the valley; how beautifully situated." " Oh, I can't admire anything now, Mr. Lorrequer, I am so frightened." " But surely without cause," said I, looking tenderly beneath her bonnet. "Is this," she answered, "nothing?" and we walked on in silence again. On reaching the Lion d'Or, we discovered that the only convey- ance to be had was a species of open market-cart, dr.iwn by two horses, and in which it was necessary that my fair friend and my- self should seat ourselves side by side upon straw; there was no choice, and as for Miss Bingham, I believe if an ass with panniers had presented itself, she would have preferred it to remaining where she was. "We therefore took our places, and she could not refrain from laughing, as we set out upon our journey in this absurd equipage, every jolt of which threw us from side to side, and rendered every attention on my part requisite to prevent her being upset. After about two hours' traveling we arrived at the Amiens road, and stopped at the barriere. I immediately inquired if a carriage had passed, resembling Mrs. Bingham's, and learaed that it had, about an hour before, and that the lady in it had been informed that two persons like those she asked after had been seen in a caliche HARBY LOKEEQUEK. 17? driviiag rapidly to Amiens, upon which she set out as fast as possi- ble in pursuit. "Certainly," said I; "the plot is thickening; but for that un lucky mistake she might in all probability have waited here for us. Amiens is only two leagues now, so our drive will not be long, and before six o'clock we shall all be laughing over the matter as a very good joke." On we rattled, and as the road became less frequented, and the shadows lengthened, I could not but wonder at the strange situations which the adventurous character of my life had so often involved me in. Meanwhile, my fair friend's spirits became more and more de- pressed, and it was not without the greatest difficulty I was enabled to support her courage. I assured her, and not altogether without reason, that though so often in my eventful career accidents were dccurring which rendered it dubious and difficult to reach the goal I aimed at, yet the results had so often been more pleasant than I aould have anticipated, that I always felt a kind of involuntary sat- isfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path, setting it down as some especial means of fortune, to heighten the pleasure awaiting me; " and now," added I, " even here, perhaps, in this very mistake of our road the sentiments I have heard the feelings I have given utterance to What I was about to say Heaven knows perhaps laothing less than a downright proposal was coming; but at that critical moment a gendarme rode up to the side of our wagon, and surveyed us with the peculiarly significant scowl his order is gifted with. After trotting alongside for a few seconds he ordered the driver to halt, and, turning abruptly to us, demanded our passports. Now our passports were at that precise moment peaceably reposing in the side pocket of Mrs. Bingham's carriage; I therefore explained to the gendarme how we were circumstanced, and added, that en arriving at Amiens the passport shoxild be produced. To this he replied, that all might be perfectly true, but he did not believe a word of it that he hact received an order for the apprehension of two English persons traveling that road and that he should accordingly request our company back to Chantraine, the commissaire of which place was his officer. " But why not take us to Amiens?" said I; " particularly when I tell you that we can then show our passports?" "I belong to the Chantraine district," was the laconic answer, and, like the gentleman who could not weep at the sermon because he belonged to another parish, this specimen of a French Dogberry would not hear reason except in his own " commune." No arguments that 1 could think of had any effect upon him, and amid a volley of entreaty and imprecation, both equally vain, we saw ourselves turn back upon the road to Amiens, and set out at a round trot to Chantraine, on the road to Calais. Poor Isabella! I really pitied her; hitherto her courage had been principally sustained by the prospect of soon reaching Amiens; now there was no seeing where our adventure was to end. Besides that, actual fatigue from the wretched conveyance began to distress her, and she was scarcely able to support herself, though assisted by my arm. What a perilous position mine, whispering consolation and comfort to a pretty girl on a lonely road, the only person near 173 BARRY LORREQrER. bekff one who comprehended nothing of the laf ^TJ&ge we spoka in. Ai, how little do we know of fate, and how often do we de- spise circumstances that determine all our fortunes in. the world. To think that a gendarme should have anything to do with nay future lot in life, and that the real want of a passport to travel should involve the probable want of a license to many. " Yes, it is quite in keeping," thought I, " with every step 1 have taicen through life. ^ J may be brought before the ' maire,' as a culprit, and leave him as a Benedick." On reaching the town, we were not permitted to drive to the inn, but at once conveyed to the house of the " commissaire," who was also the " maire" of the district. The worthy functionary was long since in bed, and it was only after ringing violently for half an hour that a head, surmounted with a dirty cotton night -cap, peeped from an upper window, and seemed to survey the assemblage beneath with patient attention. By this time a considerable crowd had col- lected from the neighboring ale-houses and cabarets, who deemed i] a most fitting occasion to honor us with the most infernal yells and shouts, as indicating their love of justice, and delight in detecting knavery; and lhat we were both involved in such suspicion we had not long to learn. Meanwhile, the poor old " maire," who had been an employe in the stormy days of the revolution, and also under Napoleon, and who fully concurred with Swift, that a " crowd is a mob, if composed even of bishops," firmly believed that the uproar beneath in the street was the announcement of a new change of affairs at Paris, determined to be early in the field, and shouted there- fore with all his lungs, " Vive lepeuple," " vive la charte," " & bas les autres." A tremendous shout of laughter saluted this exhibition of unexpected republicanism, and the poor "maire " retired from the window, having learned his mistake, covered with shame and con- fusion. Before the mirth caused by this blunder had subsided the door had opened, and we were ushered into the bureau of the commissaire, accompanied by the anxious crowd, all curious to know the particu- lars of our crime. The maire soon appeared, his night-cap being replaced by a small black velvet skull-cap, and his lanky figure enveloped in a tarnished silk dressing-gown; he permitted us to be seated, while the gen- d'arme recounted the suspicious circumstances of our traveling, and produced the order to arrest an Englishman and his wife who had arrived in one of the late Boulogne packets, and who had carried off from some banking-house money and bills for a large amount. " I have no doubt these are the people, "said the gendarme, " and here is the ' carte descriptive. ' Let us compare it' Forty-two or forty -three years of age. ' " " I trust, M. le Maire," said I, overhearing this, "'that ladies do not recognize me so much." you please, sir," said the gendarme. Upon this, the old functionary, wiping his spectacles with a snuffy handkerchief, as if preparing tliern to examine an eclipse of the sun, HAJRRY LORREQUEB. 179 regarded me fixedly for several minutes, and said " Oh, yes, I per- ceive it plainly, continue the description." " Five feet three inches," said the gendarme. " Six feet one in England, whatever this climate may have done since." " Speaks broken and bad French." "Like a native," said I; "at least, so said my friends hi the Chaussee d'Antin, in the year fifteen." Here the catalogue ended, and a short conference between the maire and the gendarme ensued, which ended in our being com- mitted for examination on the morrow; meanwhile we were to re- main at the inn, under the surveillance of the gendarme. On reaching the inn my poor friend was so completely exhausted that she at once retired to her room, and I proceeded to fulfill a promise I had made to her to dispatch a note to Mrs. Bingham at Amiens by a special messenger, acquainting her with all our mis- haps, and requesting her to come or send to our assistance. This done, and a good supper smoking before me, of tvhich with difficulty 1 persuaded Isabella to partake in her own room, I again regained my equanimity, and felt once more at ease. The gendarme into whose guardianship I had been left was a fine specimen of his caste; a large and powerfully-built man of about fifty, with an enormous beard of grizzly brown and gray hair, meet- ing above and beneath his nether lip; his eyebrows were heavy and beetling, and nearly concealed his sharp gray eyes, while a deep sabre- wound had left upon his cheek a long white scar, giving a most warlike and ferocious look to his features. As he sat apart from me for some time, silent and motionless, L could not help imagining in how many a hard-fought day he had borne a part ; for he evidently, from his age and bearing, had been one of the soldiers of the empire. I invited him to partake of my bottle of Medoc, by which he seemed flattered. When the flask be- came low, and was replaced by another, he appeared to have lost much of his constrained air, and seemed forgetting rapidly the sus- picious circumstances which he supposed attached to me waxed wondrous confidential and communicative, and condescended to im- part some traits of a life which was not without its vicissitudes, for he had been, as I suspected, one of the " Garde " the old guard was wounded at Marengo, and received the croix d'honneur in the field of Wagram, from the hands of the emperor himself. The headlong enthusiasm of attachment to Napoleon which his brief and stormy career elicited even from those who suffered long and deeply in his behalf, is not one of the least singular circumstances which this portion of history displays. While the rigors of the conscription had invaded every family hi France from Normandie to La Vendee while the untilled fields, the ruined granaries, the half -deserted villages, all attested the depopulation of the land, those talismanic words " 1'Empereur et la gloire," by some magic mechanism seemed 'all- sufficient not only to repress regret and suffering, but even stimu- late pride, and nourish valor; and even yet, when it might be sup- posed that, like the brilliant glass of a magic-lantern, the gaudy pageant had passed away, leaving only the darkness and desolation be- hind it the memory of those days under the empire survives uu 180 HAPJIY LOKEEQUER. tarnished >nd unimpaired, and every sacrifice of friends or fortunft is accounted but little in the balance when the honor of La Belle France and the triumphs of the grand " armee " are weighed against them. The infatuated and enthusiastic followers of this great man would seem, in some respects, to resemble the drunkard in the " Vaudeville," who alleged as his excuse for drinking, that whenever he was sober his poverty disgusted him. " ]VIy cabin," said he, "is a cell, my wife a mass of "old rags, my child a wretched object of misery and malady. But give me brandy; let me only have that, and then my hut is a palace, my wife is a princess, and my child the very picture of health and happiness;" so with these people intoxi- cated with the triumphs of their nation " tete monte " with victory they cannot exist in the horror of sobriety which peace necessarily en- forces; and whenever the subject turns in conversation upon the distresses of the time or the evil prospects of the country, they call out, not like the drunkard for brandy, but in the same spirit they say " Ah, if you would again see France flourishing and happy, 1st us once more have our croix d'honneur, our epaulettes, our voluntary contributions, our Murillos, our Velasquez, our spoils from Venice, and our increased territories to rule over." This is fne language of the Bonapartists everywhere, and at all seasons?; and the mass of the nation is wonderfully disposed to participate in the sentiment. The empire was the ^Eneid of the nation, and Napoleon the only hero they could believe in. You may satisfy yourself of this easily. Every cafe will give evidence of it, every society bears its testimony to it, and even the most wretched Vaudeville, however trivial the interest however meager the story, and poor the diction, let the emperor but have his " role " let him be as laconic as possible, carry his hands behind his back, bear the well-known cocked-cat and the " redingote gris " the success is certain every sentence ne utters is applauded, and not a single allusion to the Pyramids, the sun of Austerlitz, 1'honneur, et la vielle garde, but is sure to bring down thunders of acclamation. But I am forgetting myself, and perhaps my reader too; the conversation of the old gendarme accidentally led me into reflections like these, and he was well calculated, ra man^r ways, to call them forth. _ His devoted attachment his personal love of the emperor of which he gave me some touching instances, was admirably illustrated by an incident, which 1 am Inclined to tell, and hope it may amuse the reader as much as it did myself on hear- ing it. When Napoleon had taken possession of the Papal dominions, as he virtually did, and carried off the pope, Pius VI., to Paris, this old soldier, then a musketeer in the Garde, formed part of the com- pany that mounted guard over the holy father. During the earlier months of the holy father's confinement, he was at liberty to leave his apartments at any hour he pleased, and cross the court-yard of the palace to the chapel where he performed mass. At such moments the portion of the Imperial Guard then on duty stood under arms, and received from the august hand of the pope his benediction as he passed. But one morning a hasty express arrived from the Tuileries, and the officer on duty communicated his instructions to his party, that the apostolic vicar was not to be permitted to pass, as heretofore to the chapel, and that a most rigid superintendence was to be exer HARRY LORREQUER. 181 efaed over "his movements. My poor companion had his turn for duty on that ill starred day; he had not been long at his post when the sound of footsteps was heard approaching, and he soon saw the pro- cession which always attended the holy father to his devotions, ad- vancing toward him; he immediately placed himself across the pas- sage, and with his musket in rest, barred the exit, declaring, at the 'same time, that such were his orders. In vain the priests who formed the cortege addressed themselves to his heart, and spoke to his feelings ; and at last finding little success by these methods, explained to him the mortal sin and and crime for which eternal damnation itself might not be a too heavy retribution if he persisted in preventing his holi- ness to pass, and thus be a means of opposing an obstacle to the head of the whole Catholic church for celebrating the mass. The soldier re- mained firm and unmoved, the only answer he returned being " that he had his orders and dared not disobey them. " The pope, how- ever, persisted in his resolution and endeavored to get by, when the hardy veteran retreated a step, and placing his musket and bayonet at the charge, called out: " Au nom de 1'Empereur," when the pious party at last yielded and slowly retired within the palace. Not many days after this, severe restriction was recalled, and once more the holy father was permitted to go to and from the chapel to the palace, at such times as he pleased; and again as before, in passing the corridor, the guards presented arms and received the holy benedic- tion, all except one; upon him the head of the church frowned severely, and turned his back, while extending his pious hands to- ward the others. " And yet," said the poor fellow in concluding his story, " and yet I could not have done otherwise; I had my orders and must have followed them, and had the emperor commanded it, I should have run my bayonet through the body of the holy father himself." " Thus, you see, my dear sir, how I have loved the emperor, for I have many a day stood under fire for him in this world, ' etilfaut que j' aime encore aufeu pour kiidpres ma mart.' ' He received in good part the consolations I offered him on this head ; but I plainly saw they did not, could not, relieve his mind from the horrible conviction he lay under, that his soul's safety forever had been bartered for his attachment to the emperor. The story had brought us to the end of the third bottle of Medoc; and, as I was neither the pope, nor had any very decided intentions of saying mass, he offered no obstacle to my retiring for the night, and betaking myself to my bed. CHAPTER XXVI. THE INN AT CHANTRAINE. WHEN contrasted with the comforts of an English bedroom, in a good hotel, how miserably short does the appearance of a French one fall in the estimation of the tired traveler. In exchange for the car- peted floor, the well- curtained windows, the richly tapestried bed, the well-cushioned arm-chair, and the innumerable other luxuries which await him ; he has naught but a narrow, uncurtained bed, a bare floor, occasionally a flagged one, three hard cane-bottomed chairs, and a looking-glass which may convey an idea of how you 182 HARRY LORREQUER. would look under the combined influence of the cholera, and a stroke of apoplexy, one half of your face being twice the length of the other, and the entire of it a bluish-green tint pretty enough in one of Turner's landscapes, but not at all becoming whi-u applied to the " human face divine." Let no late arrival from the Continent contradict me here by his late experiences, which a stray twenty pounds and the railroa"ds confound them for the same have enabled him to acquire. I speak of matters before it occurred to all Charing Cross and Chcapside to " take the water " between Dover and Calais and inundate the world with the wit of the Cider Cellar and the Hole in the Wall. No I In the days I write of the traveled were of another genus, and you might dine at Very's, or have your loge at " Les Italiens," without being dunned by your tailor at the one, or confronted with your washerwoman at the other. Perhaps I have written all this in the spite and malice of a man who feels that his louis-d'or only goes half as far now as heretofore, and attributes all his diminished enjoyments and restricted luxuries to the unceasing current of his countrymen, whom fate and the law of imprisonment for debt impel hither. Whether I am so far guilty or not, is not now the question ; suffice it to say that Harry Lorrequer, for reasons best known to himself, lives abroad, where he will be most happy to see any of his old and former friends who take his quarters en route ; and, in the words of a bellicose brother of the pen, but in a far differ- ent spirit, he would add, ' that any person who feels himself here alluded to may learn the author's address at his publisher's." ' ' Now let us go back to our muttons, ' ' as Barney Coyle used to say in the Dublin Librarv formerly for Barney was fond of French allusions, which occasionally, too, he gave in their own tongue, as once describing an interview with Lord Cloncurry, in which he broke off suddenly the conference, adding, "I told him I never would consent to such a proposition, and putting my chateau (chapeau) on ray head, I left the house at once." It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, as, accompanied by the waiter, who, like others of his tribe, had become a kind of somnam- bulist ex-officio, I wended my way up one flight of stairs, and down another, along a narrow corridor, down two steps, through an ante- chamber, and into another corridor, to No. 82, my habitation for the night. Why I should have been so far conducted from the habitable portion of the house I had spent my evening in, I leave the learned in such matters to explain; as for me, I have ever remarked it, while asking for a chamber in a large roomy hotel, the singular pride with which you are ushered tip grand staircases, down passages, through corridors, and up nairow back flights, till the blue sky is seen through the sky-light, to No. 199, " the only spare bedroom in the house," while the silence and desolation of the whole establish- ment would seem to imply far otherwise the only evidence of occu- pation being a pair of dirty Wellingtons at the door of No. 72. " Well, we have arrived at last," said I, drawing a deep sigh as I threw myself upon a rickety chair, and surveyed rapidly my meager- looking apartment. " Yes, this is Monsieur's chamber," said the waiter, with a very peculiar look, Lalf servile, half dull. "Madame se couche. No. 28." HARRY LORREQUER. 183 " Very well, good night," said I, closing the door hastily, and not liking the further scrutiny of the fellow's eye, as he fastened it on me, as if to search what precise degree of relationship existed be- tween myself and my fair friend, whom he had called " Madame " purposely to elicit an observation from me. " Ten to one though," said I, as I undressed myself, " but they think she is my wife how f3od but again ay, it is very possible, considering we are in ranee. Nurnero vingt-huit quite far enough from this part of the house, I should suppose from my number. That old gendarme was a fine fellow what strong attachment to Napoleon ; and the story of the pope ; I hope I may remember that. Isabella, my poor girl this adventure must really distress her hope she is not crying over it what a devil of a hard bed and it is not five feet long too and, bless my soul, is this all by way of covering! why I shall be perished here. Oh ! I must certainly put all my clothes over me in addition; unfortunately, there is no hearth-rugwell, there is no help for it now so let me try to sleep numero vingt-huit." How long 1 remained in a kind of uneasy, fitful slumber, I cannot tell ; but I awoke shivering with cold puzzled to tell where I was, and my brain addled with the broken fragments of half a dozen dreams, all mingling and mixing themselves with the unpleasant realities of my situation. What an infernal contrivance for a bed, thought I, as my head came thump against the top, while my legs projected far beyond the foot-rail; the miserable portion of clothing over me at the same time being only sufficient to temper the night air, which in autumn is occasionally severe and cutting. This will never do. I must ring the bell and rouse the house, if only to get a fire, if they don't possess such a thing as blankets. I immediately rose, and groping my way along the wall, endeavored to discover the bell. But in vain ; and for the same satisfactory reason that Von Troil did not devote one chapter of his work on "Iceland " to ' ' snakes, ' ' because there were none such there. What was now to be done? About the geography of my present abode I knew, perhaps, as much as the public at large know about the Coppermine river, and Behring's straits. The world, it was true, was before me, " where to choose," admirable things for an epic, but decidedly an unfortunate circumstance for a very cold gentleman in search of a blanket. Thus thinking, I opened the door of my chamber, and not in any way resolved how I should proceed, 1 stepped forth into the long corridor, which was dark as midnight itself. Tracing my path along the wall, I soon reached a door which 1 in vain attempted to open ; in another moment I found another and an- other, each of which were locked. Thus along the entire corridor I felt my way, making every effort to discover where any of the people of the house might have concealed themselves, but without success. What was to be done now? It was of no use to go back to my late abode, and find it comfortless as I left it ; so I resolved to proceed in my search. By this time I had arrived at the top of a small flight of stairs, which I remembered having come up, and which led to another long passage similar to the one I had explored, but running in a transverse direction. Down this I now crept, and reached the landing, along the wall of which I was guided by my hand, as well for safety as to discover the architrave of some friendly door, HARRY LORREQUER. where the inhabitant might he sufficiently Samaritan to lend some portion of his hed-clothes ; door after door followed in succession along this confounded passage, which I began to think as long as the gallery of the lower one. At last, however, just as my heart was sulking within me from disappointment, the handle of a lock turned and I found myself inside a chamber. How was I now to proceed? for if this apartment did not contain any of the people of the hotel, had but a sorry excuse for disturbing the repose of any traveler who might have been more fortunate than myself in the article of blankets. To go back, however, would be absurd, havino- already ken so much trouble to find out a room that was inhabited for that such was the case, a short, thick snore assured me so that my resolve was at once made, to waken the sleeper, and endeavor to in- terest him in my destitute situation. I accordingly approached the place where the nasal sound seemed to issue from, and soon reached the post of a bed. I waited for an instant, and then began: I Monsieur, voulez vous bien me permettre " " As . < * > sllorfc wnist * never could make it out, so there is an end of ft, said my unknown friend, in a low, husky voice which strangely enough, was not totally unfamiliar tome: but when or how I had heard it before 1 could not then think. Well, thought I, he is an Englishman, at all events, so I hope his patriotism may forgive my intrusion, so here goes once more to rouse Jam, though he seems a confoundedly heavy sleeper. " I beo- your pardon, sir, but unfortunately, in a point like the present per- haps " " Well, do you mark the points, and I'll score the rubber " said he. "The devil take the gambling fellow's dreaming" thought I raising my voice at the same time. !' Perhaps a cold night, sir, may suffice as my apology." Cold, oh, ay! put a hot poker in it," muttered he; "a hot poker, a little sugar, and a spice of nutmeg nothing else then it's delicious." us see ^*o *-'*-* u j 7 .v u* v , imvi j. a* i;^n you where I hid the igars they are under my straw hat in the window." " Well, really," thought I, "if this gentleman's confessions were of an interesting nature, this might be good fun; but as the night is cold I must shorten the ' seance,' so here goes for one effort more " It sir, you could kindly spare me even a small portion of your bedclothes. J "No, thank you, no more wine; but I'll sing with pleasure-" and here the wretch, in something like the voice of a frog with the quinsy, began, ' ' I'd mourn the hopes that leave me '" You shall mourn something else for the same reason," said I as 3sing all patience, I seized quilt and blankets by the corner and with one vigorous pull wrenched them from the bed, and darted Ironi the room in a second I was in the corridor, trailing my spoil -which, in my haste, I had not time to collect in a bundle lew rather than ran along the passage, reached the stairs, and in other minute had reached the second gallery, but not before I HARRY LORREQUER. 185 heard the slam of a door behind me, and the same instant the foot- Bteps of a person running along the corridor, who could be no other than my pursuer, effectually aroused by my last appeal to his char- ity. I darted along the dark and narrow passage; but soon, to my horror, discovered that I must have passed the door of my chamber, for I had reached the foot of a narrow back stair, which led to the grenier and the servants' rooms, beneath the roof. To turn now only would have led me plump in the face of my injured countryman, of whose thew and sinew I was perfectly ignorant, and did not much like to venture upon. There was little time for reflection, for he had now reached the top of the stair, and was evidently listening for some clew to guide him on; stealthily and silently, and scarcely drawing breath, I mounted the narrow stairs, step by step, but be- fore I had arrived at the landing, he heard the rustle of the bed- clothes, and again gave chase. There was something in the unre- lenting ardor of his pursuit which suggested to my mind the idea of a most uncompromising foe; and as fear added speed to my steps, I dashed along beneath the low-roofed passage, wondering what chance of escape would yet present itself. Just at this instant, the hand by which I had guided myself along the wall, touched the handle of a door I turned it it opened I drew in my precious bundle, and closing the door noiselessly, sat down, breathless and still, upon the floor. Scarcely was this, the work of a second, accomplished, when the heavy tread of my pursuer resounded on the floor. " Upon my conscience, it's strange if I haven't you now, my friend," said he; " you're in a culde sac here, as they say, if I know anything of the house; and faith I'll make a salad of you, when I get you, that's all. Devil a dirtier trick ever I heard tell of. " Need I say that these words had the true smack of an Irish accent, which circumstance, from whatever cause, did not by any means tend to assuage my fears in the event of discovery. However, from such a misfortune my good genius now delivered me; for after traversing the passage to the end, he at last discovered another, which led by a long flight to the second stoiy, down which he proceeded, venting at every step his determination for vengeance and his resolution not to desist from the j ursuit, if it took the entire night for it. "Well, now," thought I "as he will scarcely venture up here again, and as I may, by leaving this, be only incurring the risk of encountering him, my best plan is to stay where I am, if it, be possi- ble." With this intent I proceeded to explore the apartment, which from its perfect stillness I concluded to be unoccupied. After some few minutes' groping I reached a low bed, fortunately empty, and although the touch of the bed-clothes led to no veiy favorable augury of its neatness or elegance, there was little choice at this moment, so I rolled myself up in my recent booty, and resolved to wait patiently for daybreak to regain my apartment. As always happens in such circumstances, sleep came on me un- awares so at least every one's experience I am sure can testify, that if you are forced to wake early to start by some morning coach, and that unfortunately you have not got to bed till late at night, the chances are ten to one that you get no sleep whatever, simply because 186 HARRY LORREQUER. jou are desirous for it; but make up your mind ever so resolutely that you'll not sleep, and whether your determination be built on motives of propriety, duty, convenience or health, and the chances are just as strong that you are sound and snoring before ten minutes. How many a man has found it impossible, with every effort of his heart and brain aiding his good wishes, to sit with unclosed eyes and ears through a dull sermon in the dog-days; how many an expectant longing heir has yielded to the drowsy influence when endeavoring to look contrite under the severe correction of a lecture on extravagance from his uncle. Who has not felt the irresistible tendency to " drop off " in the half hour before dinner at a stupid country house? I need not catalogue the thousand other situations hi life infinitely more " sleep-compelling " than morphine; for myself, rnypleasantest and soundest moments of perfect forgetfulness of this dreary world and all its cares, have been taken on an oaken bench, seated bolt upright and vis d vis to a lecturer on botany, whose calming accents, united with the softened light of an autumnal day, piercing its diffi- cult rays through the narrow and cobwebed windows, the odor of the recent plants and flowers aiding and abetting, all combined to Bteep the soul in sleep, and you sank by imperceptible and gradual steps into that state of easy slumber in which ' ' come no dreams, ' ' and the last sounds of the lecturer's ' ' hypogenous and perigenous ' ' died away, becoming beautifully less, till your senses sank into rest, the syllables " rigging us, rigging us," seemed to melt away in the dis- tance and fade from your memory Peace be with you, Dr. A. If I owe gratitude anywhere, I have my debt with you. The very memory I bear of you has saved me no inconsider- able sum in hop and henbane. Without any assistance from the sciences on the present occasion, 1 was soon asleep, and woke not till the cracking of whips and the trampling of horses' feet on the pavement of the coach-yard apprised me that the world had risen to its daily labor, and so should I. From the short survey of my pres- ent chamber, which I took on waking, I conjectured it must have been the den of some of the servants of the house upon occasion two low truckle-beds of the meanest description lay along the wall opposite to mine ; one of 1 icm appeared to have been slept in during the past night, but by wnat species of animal the Fates alone can tell. An old demi-peak saddle, capped and tipped with brass, some rusty bits and stray stirrup- irons, lay here and there upon the floor; while upon a species of clothes-rack, attached to a rafter, hung a tarnished suit of postilion's livery, cap, jacket, leathers, jack-boots, all ready for use ; and evidently from their arrangement supposed by the owner to be rattier a creditable " turn out. " 1 turned over these singular habiliments with much of the curios- ity with which an antiquary would survey a suit of chain armor, the long epaulets of j'ellow cotton cord, the heavy belt, with its brass buckle, the cumbrous boots, plaited and bound with iron like churns, were in rather a ludicrous contrast to the equipment of our light and jockey-like boys, in nunkeen jackets and neat tops, that spin along over our level " macadam." " But," thought I, " it is full time I should get back to No. 82, and make my appearance below stairs;" though in what part of the building my room lay, and how I was to reach it without iny clothes HARRY LORREQUER. 187 I had aot the least idea, A blanket is an excessively comfortable article of wearing apparel when in bed, but as a walking costume is by no means convenient or appropriate, while to making a sortie en f mirage, however appropriate during the night, there were many seri- ous objections if done " en plein jour " and with the whole estab- lishment awake and active. The noise of mopping; scrubbing and polishing, which is eternally going forward in a foreign inn, amply- testified there was nothing which I could adopt in my present naked and forlorn condition save the bizarre and ridiculous dress of the postilion, and I need not say the thought of so doing presented nothing agreeable. I looked from the narrow window out upon the tiled roof, but without any prospect of being heard if I called ever so loudly. The infernal noise of floor cleansing, assisted by a Norman peas- ant's " chanson du pays," the time being well marked by her heavy sabots, gave even less chance to me within; so that after more than half an hour passed in weighing difficulties and canvassing plans, upon donning the blue and yellow, and setting out for my own room without delay, hoping sincerely that, with proper precaution, I should be able to reach it unseen and unobserved. As I laid but little stress upon the figure I should make in my new habiliments, it did not cause me much mortification to find that the clothes were considerably too small, the jacket scarcely coming beneath my arms and the sleeves being so short that my hands and wrists projected beyond the cuffs like two enormous claws, the leathers were also limited in their length, and when drawn up to a proper height, permitted my knees to be seen beneath like the short costume of a Spanish Taundor, but scarcely as graceful; not wish- ing to encumber myself in the heavy and noisy masses of wood, iron, and leather, they call " les pottes forts," I slipped my feet into my slippers, and stole gently from the room. How I must have looked at the moment I leave my reader to guess, as with anxious and stealthy pace I crept along the low gallery that led to the narrow staircase, down which I proceeded, step by step; but just as I reached the bottom, perceived a little distance from me, with her baca turned toward me, a short, squat peasant on her knees, labor- ing with a brush the well- waxed floor; to pass, .therefore, unob- served, was impossible, so that I did not hesitate to address her, and endeavor to interest her in my behalf, and enlist her as my guide. " Bon jour, ma chere, bon jour." " Bon jour, ma chere," said I, hi a soft insinuating tone; she did not hear me, so I repeated : Upon this she turned round, and looking fixedly at me for a sec- ond, called out in a thick patois, " Ah, le bon Dieu! qu'il est drole comme 93, Francois, savez-vous, mais ce n'est pas Francois," say- ing which, she sprang from her kneeling position to her feet, and with a speed that her shape and sabots seemed little to promise, rushed down the stairs as if she had seen the devil himself. " Why, what is the matter with the woman?" said I, " surely if I am not FranQois- which God be thanked is true yet I cannot look so frightful as all this would imply." I had not much time given me for consideration now, for before I had well deciphered the number over a door before me, the loud noise of several voices on the floor 188 HAERT LORREQUER. beneath attracted my attention, and the moment after the heavy tramp of feet followed, and in an instant the gallery was thronged by the men and women of the house waiters, hostlers, cooks, scull- ions, fllles de chambre, mingled with gendarmes, peasants, and townspeople, all eagerly forcing their way up stairs ; jet all, on ar- riving at the landing-place, seemed disposed to keep at a respectful distance, and bundling themselves at one end of the corridor, while I, feelingly alive to the ridiculous appearance I made, occupied the other the gravity with which they seemed at first disposed to regard me, soon gave way, and peal after peal of laughter broke out, and young and old, men and women, even to the most farouche gen- darmes, all appearing incapable of controlling the desire for merri- ment my most singular figure inspired; and unfortunately, this emotion seemed to promise no very speedy conclusion, for the jokes and witticisms made upon my appearance threatened to renew the festivities, ad libitum. " Regardez done ses epaules," said one. " Ah, mon Dieu! II me fait 1'idee d'une grenouille aves ses jambes jaunes," cried another. " II vaut son pesant de fromage pour une Vaudeville," said the director of the strolling theater of the place. " I'll give seventy francs a week, ' d'appointment,' and ' Scribe ' shall write a piece express for himself, if he'll take it." " May the devil fly away with your grinning baboon faces," said I, as I rushed up the stairs again, pursued by the mob at full cry; scarcely, however, had I reached the top step, when the rough hand of the gendarme seized me by the shoulder, while he said in a low, husky voice, " c'est inutile, Monsieur, you cannot escape the thing was well contrived, it is true; but the gendarmes of France are not easily outwitted, and you could not have long avoided detection, even in that dress. " It was my turn to laugh now ; which, to their very great amazement, I did, loud and long, that I should have thought my E resent costume could ever have been the means of screening me rom observation, however it might have been calculated to attract it, was rather too absurd a supposition even for the mayor of a village to entertain ; besides, it only now occurred to me that I was figuring in the character of a prisoner. The continued peals of laughing which this mistake on their part elicited from me, seemed to afford but slight pleasure to my captor, who gruffly said: " When you have done amusing yourself, mon ami, perhaps you will do us the favor to come before the mayor. " " Certainly," I replied; " but you will first permit me to resume my own clothes, I am quite sick of masquerading ' en postilion.' " "Not so fast, my friend," said the suspicious old follower of Fouche not so fast; it is but right the maire should see you in the disguise you attempted your escape in. It must be especially men- tioned in the proems verbal." "Well, this is becoming too ludicrous," said I. "It need not take five minutes to satisfy you why, how, and where, I put on these confounded rags " " Then tell it to the maire. at the Bureau." " But lor that purpose it is not ii" - ;;ry I should be conducted HARRY LORHEQUER. 189 through the streets in broad day, to be laughed at. No, positively, I'll not go. In my own dress, I'll accompany you with pleasure." "Victor, Henri, Guiliaume," said the gendarme, addressing his companions, who immediately closed round me. " You see," added he, " there is no use in resisting." Need I recount my own shame and ineffable disgrace? Alas! it is too, too true. Harry Lorrequer whom Stultze entreated to wear his coats, the ornament of Hyde Park, the last appeal hi dress, fash- ion, and equipage was obliged to parade through the mob of a mar- ket town in France, with four gendarmes for his companions, and he himself habited in a mongrel character half postilion, half Delaware Indian. The incessant yells of laughter the screams of the children, and the outpouring 01 every species of sarcasm and ridi- cule, at my expense, were not all for as I emerged from the porte eoch&re, I saw Isabella in the window; her eyes were red with weep- ing; but no sooner had she beheld me, than she broke out into a fit of laughter, that was audible even in the street. Rage had now taken such a hold upon me, that I forgot my ridiculous appearance in my thirst for vengeance. I marched on through the grinning crowd, with the step of a martyr. I suppose my heroic bearing and warlike deportment must have heightened the drollery of the scene; for the devils only laughed the more. The bureau of the maire could not contain one tenth of the anxious and curious individuals who thronged the entrance, and for about twenty minutes the whole efforts of the gendarmes were little enough to keep order and maintain silence. At length the maire made his ap- pearance, and accustomed as he had been for a long life to scenes of an absurd and extraordinary nature, yet the ridicule of my look and costume was too much, and he laughed outright. This was of course the signal for renewed mirth for the crowd, while those with- eut doors, infected by the example, took up the jest, and I had the pleasure of a short calculation, a la Bdbbage, of how many max- illary jaws were at that same moment wagging at my expense. However, the examination commenced; and I at length obtained an opportunity of explaining under what circumstances I had left my room, and how and why I had been induced to don this con- founded cause of all my misery. " This may be very true," said the mayor, " as it is very plausible; if you have evidence to prove what you have stated ' " If it's evidence only is wanting Mr. Maire, I'll confirm one part of the story," said a voice in the crowd, in an accent and tone that assured me the speaker was the injured proprietor of the stolen blankets. I turned round hastily to look at my victim, and what was my surprise to recognize a. very old Dublin acquaintance, Mr. Fitzmaurice O'Leary. "Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer," said he; "this is mighty like our old practices in College Green; but upon my conscience, the maire has the advantage of Gabbet. It's lucky for you I know his worship, as we'd call him at home, or this might be a serious busi- ness. Nothing would persuade them that you were not Lucien Buonaparte, or the iron mask, or something of that sort, if they took it into their heads." Mr. O'Leary was as good as his word. In a species of French, 190 HARRY L011REQUER. that I'd venture to say would be perfectly intelligible in Mullingat, he contrived to explain to the maire that I was neither a runaway nor a swindler, but a very old friend of his, and consequently sans reproche. The official was now as profuse of his civilities as he had before been of his suspicions, and most hospitably pressed us to stay for breakfast. This, for many reasons, I was obliged to decline not the least of which was my impatience to get out of my present costume. We accordingly procured a carriage, and I returned to the hotel, scieened from the gaze, but still accompanied by the shouts of the mob, who evidently took a most lively interest in the entire proceeding. I lost no time in changing my costume, and was about to descend to the saloon when the master of the house came to inform me that Mrs. Bingham's courier had arrived with the carriage, and that she expected us at Amiens as soon as possible. " That is all right. Now, Mr. O'Leary, I must pray you to for- give all the liberty I have taken -with you, and also permit me to defer the explanation of many circumstances vrhich seem at present strange, till " "Till sine die, if the story be a long one, my dear sir there's nothing I hate so much, except cold punch." " You are going to Paris," said I; " is it not so?" " Yes, I'm thinking of it. I was up at Trolhatten, in Norway, three weeks ago, and I was obliged to leave it hastily, for I've an appointment with a friend in Geneva." " Then how do you travel?" " On foot, just as you see, except that I've a tobacco bag up stairs, and an umbrella." " Light equipment, certainly; but you must allow me to give you a set down as far as Amiens, and also to present you to my friends there." To this Mr. O'Leary made no objection; and as Miss Bingham could not bear any delay, in her anxiety to join her mother, we set out at once the only thing to mar my full enjoyment at the mo- ment, being the sight of the identical vestments I had so lately fig- ured in, bobbing up and down before my eyes for the whole length of the stage, and leading to innumerable mischievous allusions from my friend Mr. O'Leary, which were far too much relished by my fair companion. At twelve we arrived at Amiens, when I presented my friend, Mr. O'Leary, to Mrs. Bingham. CHAPTER X5VII. MR. O'LEAKT. AT the conclusion of my last chapter, I was about to introduce to my reader's acquaintance my friend Mr. O'Leary; and, as he is des- tined to occupy some place in the history of these Confessions, I may, perhaps, be permitted to do so at more length thai* his intrinsic merit at first sight might appear to warrant. Mr. O'Leary was, and I am induced to believe is, a particularly short, fat, greasy-looking gentleman, with a head as free from phren- HARRY LORREQUER. 191 ological development as a billiard-ball, and a countenance which, in feature and color, nearly resembled the face of a cherub, carved in oak, as we see them in old pulpits. Short as is his stature, his limbs compose the least part of it. His hands and feet forming some compensation by their ample propor- tions, give to his entire air and appearance somewhat the look of a small fish, with short, thick fins, vulgarly called a* cobbler's thumb. His voice, varying in cadence from a deep. baritone to a high falsetto, maintains throughout the distinctive-characteristic" of*a Dublin accent and pronunciation, and he talks of the " veel of Ovoca, and a beef- ateek," with some pride of intonation. What part of the island he came originally from, or what may be his age, are questions I have the most profound ignorance of; I have heard many anecdotes which would imply his being what the French call " d'un age mur " but his own observations are generally limited to events occurring since the peace of "fifteen." To his personal attractions, such as they are, he has never been solicitous of- contributing by the meretri- cious aids of dress. His coat, calculating from its length of waist, and ample skirt, would fit Dumbo Green, while his trousers, being made of some cheap and shrinking material, have gradually con- tracted their limits and look now exactly like knee-breeches, with- out the usual buttons at the bottom. These, with the addition of a pair of green spectacles, the glass of one being absent, and permitting the lookout of a sharp, gray eye, twinkling with drollery and good humor, form the most palpable of his externals. In point of character they who best knew him repre- sented him as the best-tempered, best-hearted fellow breathing; ever ready to assist a friend, and always postponing his own plans and his own views, when he had any, to the wishes and intentions of others. Among the many odd things about him was a constant preference for traveling on foot, and a great passion for living abroad, both of which tastes he gratified, although his size might seem to offer obstacles to the one, and his total ignorance of every continental lan- guage, would appear to preclude the other; with a great liking for tobacco, which he smoked all day a fondness for whist and malt liquors his antipathies were few ; so that, except when called upon to shave more than once in the week, or wash his hands twice on the same day, it was difficult to disconcert him. His fortune was very ample ; but although his mode of living was neither very ostentatious nor costly, he contrived always to spend his income. Such was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, who, I must confess, ap- peared strangely puzzled by his manner and appearance. This feel- ing, however, soon wore off; and before he had spent the morning in their company, he had made more way in their good graces, and gone further to establish intimacy, than many a more accomplished person, with an unexceptionable coat and accurate whisker, might have effected hi a fortnight. What were his gifts in this way I am, alas, most deplorably ignorant of ; it was not, Heaven knows, that he pos- sessed any conversational talent of successful flattery he knew as much as a negro does of the national debt, and yet the " bonhom- mie " of his character seemed to tell at once; and I never knew him fail in any one instance to establish an interest for himself before he had completed the ordinary period of a visit. 192 HARRY LORREQUER. I think it is Washington Irving who has so admirably depicted the mortification of a dandy angler, who, with his beaver garnished with brown hackles, his well-poised rod, polished guff, and handsome landing-net, with everything befitting, spends his long summer day whipping a trout stream without a rise or even a ripple to reward him, while a ragged urchin, with a willow wand and a bent pin, not ten yards distant, is covering the greensward with myriads of speckled and scaly backs, from one pound weight to four; so it is in everything " the race is not to the swift;" the elements of success in life, whatever be the object of pursuit, are very, very different from what we think of them at first sight, and so it was with Mr. O'Leary; and I have more than once witnessed the triumph of his homely manner and blunt humor over the more polished and well- bred taste of his competitors for favor; and what might have been the limit to such success Heaven alone can tell, if it weie not that ho labored under a counterbalancing infirmity, sufficient to have swamped a line-of-battle ship itself. It was simply this a most unfortunate propensity to talk of the wrong place, person, or time, in any society he found himself; and this taste for the mal-apropot extended so far, that no one ever ventured into company with him as his friend, without trembling for the result; but even this, I be- lieve his only fault, resulted from the natural goodness of his char- acter and intentions; for believing, as he did, in his honest sim- plicity, that the arbitrary distinctions of class and rank were held as cheaply by others as by himself, he felt small scruple at recounting to a duchess a scene in a cabaret, and with as little hesitation would he, if asked, have sung the " Cruiskeen Lawn," or the "Jug of Punch," after Lablanche had- finished the " A Idea," from Figaro. Mauvaise honte he had none; indeed, I am not sure he had any kind of shame whatever, except possibly when detected with a coat that bore any appearance of newness, or if ever persuaded to wear gloves, which he ever considered as a special effeminacy. Such, in a few words, was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, and how far he insinuated himself into their good graces, let the fact tell, that on my return to the breakfast-room, after about an hour's absence, I heard him detailing the particulars of a route they were to take by his advice, and also learned that he had been offered and had accepted a seat in their carriage to Paris. " Then I'll do myself the pleasure of joining your party, Mrs. Bingham," said he. " Bingham, I think, madam, is your name." " Yes, sir." " Any relation, may I ask, of a most dear friend of mine, of the same name, from Currynaslattery, in the county Wexford?" "I am really not aware," said Mrs. Biugham. "My husband's family are, I believe, many of them from that county." ' " Ah, what a pleasant fellow was Tom!" said Mr. O'Leary, mus- ingly, and with that peculiar tone which made me tremble, for I knew that a reminiscence was coming. "A pleasant fellow, in- deed." " Is he alive, sir, now?" " I believe so, ma'am; but I hear the climate does not agree with him." " Ah, then he's abroad! In Italy, probably?" HARRY LORREQUER. 193 " No, ma'am, in Botany Bay. His brother, they say, might have saved him, but he left poor Tom to his fate; for he was just then, paying his court to a Miss Crow, I think, with a large fortune. Oh, Lord, what have I said; it's always the luck of me!" The latter exclamation was the result of a heavy saugh upon the floor, Mrs. Bingham having fallen in a faint she being the identical lady allud- ed to, and her husband the brother of pleasant Tom Bingham. To hurl Mr. O'Leary out of the room by one hand, and ring the bell with the other, was the work of a moment; and with proper care, and in due time, Mrs. Bingham was brought to herself , when, most fortunately, she entirely forgot the cause of her sudden indis- position; and, of course, neither her daughter nor myself suffered any clew to escape us which might lead to its discovery. When we were once more upon the road, to efface if it might be necessary, any unpleasant recurrence to the late scene, I proceeded to give Mrs. Bingham an account of my adventure at Chantraine, in which, of course, I endeavored to render my friend O'Leary all the honors of being laughed at in preference to myself, laying little stress upon my masquerading in the jack-boots. " You are quite right," said O'Leary, joining in the hearty laugh against him, ' ' quite right ; I was always a very heavy sleeper indeed, if i wasn't, I wouldn't be here now, traveling about en garcon, free as air;" here he heaved a sigh, which, from its incongruity with his jovial look and happy expression, threw us all into renewed laughter. " But why, Mr. O'Leary what can your sleepiness have to do with such tender recollections, for such, I am sure, that sigh be- speaks them?" " Ah! ma'am, it may seem strange, but it is nevertheless true, if it were not for that unfortunate tendency, I should now be the happy possessor of a most accomplished and amiable lady, and eight hun- dred per annum three and a half per cent stock." " You overslept yourself on the wedding-day, I suppose." " You shall hear, ma'am; the story is a very short one. It is now about eight years ago, I was rambling through the south of France, and had just reached Lyons, where the confounded pavement that sticks up like spears, with the point upward, had compelled me to rest some days and recruit; for this purpose I Installed myself in the pension of Madame Gourgead, Rue de Petits Carmes, a quiet house where we dined at twelve, ten in number, upon about, two pounds of stewed beef, with garlic and carrots a light soup, being the water which accompanied the same, to render it tender in stewing some preserved cherries, and an omelet, with a pint bottle of Beaune, 6me qualite, I believe a species of pyroligneous wine made from the vine stalks, but pleasant in summer with your salad; then we played dominoes in the evening, or whist for sous points, leading altogether a very quiet and virtuous existence, or, as Madame herself expressed it, ' une vie tout-a-fait patriarchate ;' of this I can- not myself affirm how far she was right in supposing the patriarchs did exactly like us. But to proceed, in the same establishment there lived a widow whose late husband had been a wine merchant at Dijon he had also, I suppose, from residing in that country, been, imitating the patriarchs, for he died one day. Well, the lady was delayed at Lyons for some law business, and thus it came about that 194 HARRY LORREQUER. her husband's testament and the sharp paving stones in the streets determined we should be acquainted. I cannot express to you the delight of my fair countrywoman at finding that a person who spoke English had arrived at the ' pension ' a feeling I myself somewhat participated in, for, to say truth, I was not at that time a very great proficient in French. W e soon became intimate, in less time proba- bly than it would otherwise have happened, for from the ignorance of all the others of one word of English, I was enabled during dinner to say many soft and tender things, which one does not usually vent- ure on in company. " I recounted my travels, and told various adventures of my wan- derings, till at last, from being merely amused, I found that my fair friend began to be interested in my narratives ; and frequently, when passing the bouillon to her, I have seen a tear in the corner of her eye; in a word, ' she loved me for the dangers I had passed,' as Othello says. "Well, laugh away if you like, but it's truth I'm tell- ing you." At this part of Mr. O'Leary's story we all found it im- possible to withstand the ludicrous mock heroic of his face and tene, and laughed loud and long. When we at length became silent he resumed" Before three weeks had passed over, I had proposed and was accepted, just your own way, Mr. Lorrequer, taking the ball at the hop, the very same way you did at Cheltenham, the time the lady jilted you, and ran off with your friend Mr. Waller. I read it all hi the news, though I was then in Norway fishing. " Here there was another interruption by a laugh, not, however, at Mr. O'Leary's expense. I gave him a most menacing look, while he continued " The settlements were soon drawn up, and consisted, like all great diplomatic documents, of a series of ' gams and com- pensations ;' thus, she was not to taste anything stronger than kirsch wasser, or Nantz brandy; and I limited myself to a pound of short- cut weekly, and so on; but to proceed: the lady being a good Catholic, insisted upon being married by a priest of her own persua- sion, before the performance of the ceremony at the British embassy in Paris ; to this I could offer no objection, and we were accordingly united in the holy bonds the same morning, after signing the law papers." " Then, Mr O'Leary, you are really a married man?" "That's the very point I'm coming to, ma'am; for I have con- sulted all the jurists upon the subject, and they never can agree. But you shall hear. I dispatched a polite note to Bishop Luscombe, and made every arrangement for the approaching ceremony, took a quarter in the Rue Helder, near the Estaminet, and looked forward with anxiety for the day which was to make me happy; for our mar- riage ha Lyons was only a kind of betrothal. Now, my fair friend had but one difficulty remaining, poor, dear soul I refrain from mentioning^ her name for delicacy sake; but poor dear Mrs. Ram could not bear the notion of our going up to Paris in the same con- veyance, for, long as she had lived abroad, she had avoided every- thing French, even the language ; so she proposed that I should go in the early ' diligence,' which starts at four o'clock hi the morning, while she took her departure at nine; thus I should be some hours sooner in Paris, and ready to receive her on her arriving ; besides sparing her bashf ulness all reproach of our traveling together. It HARRY LOliREQUER. 195 was no use my telling her that I always traveled on foot, and hated a ' diligence;' she coolly replied that at our time of life we could not spare the time necessary for a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, for so she supposed the journey from Lyons to Paris to be; so, fearing lest any doubt might be thrown upon the ardor of my attachment, I yielded at once, remembering at the moment what rny poor friend Tom Bing Oh Lord, I'm at it again 1" " Sir, I did not hear." " Nothing, ma'am. I was just going to observe that ladies of a certain time of life, and especially widows, like a lover that seems a little ardent or so all the better." Here Mrs. Bingham blushed, her daughter bridled, and I nearly suffocated with shame and suppressed laughter. " After a most tender farewell of my bride or wife, I don't know which, I retired for the night, with a mind vacillating between my hopes of happiness and my fears for the result of a journey so foreign to all my habits of traveling, and hi which I could not but tremble at the many casualties my habitual laziness and dislike to any hours but of my own choosing might involve me in. " I had scarcely laid down in bed, ere these thoughts took such possession of me, that sleep for once in my life was out of the ques- tion; and then the misery of getting up at four in the morning putting on your clothes by the flickering light of the porter's candle getting your boots on the wrong feet, and all that kind of annoy- ance I am sure I fretted myself into the feeling of a downright martyr before an hour was over. Well, at least, thought I, one thing is well done I have been quite right in coming to sleep here at the Massagerie Hotel, where the diligence starts from, or the chances are ten to one that I should never wake till the time was past. Now, however, they are sure to call me; so I may sleep tranquilly till then. Meanwhile I had forgotten to pack my trunk my papers, etc., ly- ing all about the room in a state of considerable confusion. I rose at once with all the dispatch I could muster; this took a long time to effect, and it was nearly two o'clock ere 1 finished, and sat down to smoke a solitary pipe the last, I supposed, it might be my lot to enjoy for heaven knows how long, Mrs. R. having expressed, rather late in our intimacy, I confess, strong opinions against tobacco within doors. " When I had finished my little sac of the ' weed,' the clock struck three, and I started to think how little time I was destined to have in bed. In bed ! why, said I, there is no use thinking of it now, for I shall scarcely have lain down ere I shall be obliged to get up again. So thinking, I set about dressing myself for the road; and as the sea- son was winter, and the weather dreadfully severe, took care to array, myself in all the covering I could lay hands upon ; and by the time I had enveloped myself in a pair of long Hungarian gaiters, and a kurtcha of sheep's wool, with a brown bear- skin outside, with a Welsh wig, and a pair of large dark glass goggles to defend the eyes from the snow, I was not only perfectly impervious to all effects of the weather, but so thoroughly defended from any influence of sight or sound, that a volcano might be hissing and thundering within ten yards of me, without attracting the slightest attention. Now, 1 thought, instead of remaining here, I'll just step down to the coach, 196 HARET LOEEEQUEB. and get snugly into the diligence, and having secured the corner of the coupe, resign myself to sleep with the certainty of not heing left behind, and, probably, too, be some miles on my journey before awaking. " I accordingly went down stairs, and to my surprise found, even at that early hour, that many of the garcons of the house were stir- ring and bustling about, getting all the luggage up in the huge wooden leviathan that was to convey us on our road. There they stood, like bees around a hive, clustering and buzzing, and all so engaged that with difficulty could I get an answer to my question of, What dili- gence it was? ' La diligence pour Paris, Monsieur.' " ' Ah, all right then,' said I; so watching an opportunity to do so unobserved, for I supposed they might have laughed at me, I stepped quietly into the coupe, and amid the creaking of cordage, and the thumping of feet on the roof, fell as sound asleep as ever I did hi my life these sounds coming to my muffled ears, soft as the echoes on the Rhine. When it was that I awoke I cannot say ; but as I rubbed my eyes and yawned after a most refreshing sleep, I per- ceived that it was still quite dark all around, and that the diligence was standing before the door of some inn and not moving. Ah, thought I, this is the first stage; how naturally one alwavs wakes at the change of horses a kind of instinct implanted by Providence, I suppose, to direct us to a little refreshmeut on the road. With these pious feelings I let down the glass, and called out to the gallon for a glass of brandy and a cigar. While he was bringing them, I had time to look about, and perceived to my very great delight, that I had the whole coupe to myself. ' Are there any passengers coming hi here?' said I, as the waiter came forward with my petit verre. ' I should think not, sir,' said the fellow with a leer! ' Then I shall have the whole coupe to myself?' said I. ' Monsieur need have no fear of being disturbed; I can safely assure him that he will have no one there for the next twenty-four hours. ' This was really pleasant intelligence; so I chucked him a ten sous piece, and closing up the window, as the morning was cold, once more lay back to sleep with a success that has never failed me. It was to a bright blue cloudless sky, and the sharp clear air of a fine day in whiter, that I at length opened my eyes. I pulled out my watch, and discovered it was ex- actly two o'clock; I next lowered the glass and looked about me, and very much to my surprise discovered that the diligence was not mov- ing, but standing very peaceably in a very crowded congregation of other similar and dissimiliar conveyances, all of which seemed, I thought, to labor under some physical ailment, some wanting a box, others- a body, etc. , etc. , and in fact suggesting the idea of an in- firmary for old and disabled carriages of either sex, mails and others. ' Oh, I have it,' cried I, ' we are arrived at Mont-Geran, and they are all at dinner, and from my being alone hi the coupe they have for- gotten to call me. ' I immediately opened the door, and stc into the inn-yard, crowded with conducteurs, grooms and "hostlers ; who, I thought, looked rather surprised at seeing me emerge from the diligence. ' You did not know I was there,' said I, with a knowing wink at one of them as I passed. ' ' Assurement non,' said the fellow with a laugh, that was th< HARRY LORREQUEB. 197 signal for all the others to join in it. ' Is the table d'h6te over?' said I, regardless of the mirth around me. ' Monsieur is just in time,' said the waiter, who happened to pass with a soup-tureen in his hand. ' Have the goodness to step this way. ' I had barely lime to remark the close resemblance of the waiter to the fellow who pre- sented me with my brandy and cigar in the morning, when he ushered me into a large room with about forty persons sitting at a long table, evidently waiting with impatience for the ' pottige ' to begin their dinner. Whether it was they enjoyed the joke ot having neglected to call me, or that they were laughing at my traveling costume, 1 cannot say, but the moment I came in, I could perceive a general titter run through the assembly. ' Not too late, after all, gentlemen, ' said I, marching gravely up the table. " ' Monsieur is in excellent time,' said the host, making room for me beside his chair. Notwithstanding the incumbrance of my weighty habiliments, I proceeded to do ample justice to the viands before me, apologizing laughingly to the host, by pleading a traveler's appetite. " ' Then you have perhaps come far this morning/ said a gentle- man opposite. " ' Yes/ said I, ' I have been on the road since four o'clock.' " ' And how are the roads?' said another. ' Very bad/ said I, ' the first few stages from Lyons, afterward much better. ' This was said at a venture, as I began to be ashamed of being always asleep before my fellow-travelers. They did not seein, however, to understand me perfectly; and one old fellow, putting down his spec- tacles from his forehead, leaned over and said, ' And where, may I ask, has Monsieur come from this morning?' " ' From Lyons/ said I, with the proud air of a man who has done a stout feat, and is not ashamed of the exploit. " ' From Lyons!' said one. ' From Lyons!' cried another. ' From Lyons!' repeated a third. " ' Yes/ said I; ' what the devil is so strange in it? traveling is*so quick nowadays, one thinks nothing of twenty leagues before dinner. ' ' ' ' The inf emal shout of laughing that followed my explanation is still in my ears ; from one end of the table to the other there was one continued ha, ha, ha from the greasy host to the little hunch- backed waiter, they were all grinning away. " ' And how did Monsieur travel?' said the old gentleman, who seemed to carry on the prosecution against me. " ' By the diligence, the " Aigle noir," ' said I, giving the name with some pride, that I was not altogether ignorant of the convey- ance. " ' Then you should certainly not complain of the roads/ said Hie host, chuckling; ' for the only journey that diligence has made this day has been from the street-door to the inn yard; for, as they found when the luggage was nearly packed that the, axle was almost broken through, they wheeled it round to the cour, and prepared another for the travelers.' ' ' And where am I now?' said I. " ' In Lyons/ said twenty voices, half -choked with laughter at my question. " I was thunderstruck at the news at first; but as I proceeded with 198 HARRY LORREQUER. my dinner, I joined in the mirth of the party, which certainly wa* not diminished on my telling them the object of my intended journey. ' ' I think, young man,' said the old fellow with the spectacles, ' that you should take the occurrence as a warning of Providence that marriage will not suit you. ' I began to be of the same opinion; but then there was the jointure. To be sure, I was to give up to- bacco; and perhaps I should not be as free to ramble about as when en gargon. So taking all things into consideration, I ordered in another bottle of Burgundy, to drink Mrs. Ram's health got my passport vised for Barege and set out for the Pyrenees the same evening." " And have you never heard anything more of the lady?" said Mrs. Bingham. " Oh yes. She was faithful to the last; for I found out when at Rome last winter that she had offered a reward for me in the news- papers, and indeed had commenced a regular pursuit of me through the whole continent. And to tell the real fact, I should not now fancy turning my steps toward Paris, if I had not very tolerable in- formation that she is in full cry after me through the Wengen Alps. I have contrived a paragraph in Galignani to seduce her thither, and where, with the blessing of Providence, if the snow set in early she must pass the whiter." CHAPTER XXVIIL PARIS. NOTHING more worthy of recording occurred before our arrival at Meurice 6 on the third day of our -journey. My friend O'Leary had with his usual good fortune, become indispensable to his new ac- quaintance, and it was not altogether without some little lurking ^dis- content that I perceived how much less often my services were called in request since his having joined our party: his information not- withstanding its very scanty extent, was continually relied upon and his veiy imperfect French everlastingly called into requisition to interpret a question for the ladies. Yes, thought I, " Othello's occupation's gone;" one of two things has certainly happened either Mrs. Bingham and her daughter have noticed my continued ab- straction of mind, and have attributed it to the real cause, the pre- occupation of my affections; or, thinking, on the other hand that I am desperately in love with one or the other of them, have thought that a little show of preference to Mr. O'Leary may stimulate meto a proposal at once. In either case, I resolved to lose no time in tak- ing my leave, which there could be no difficulty in doing now as tbe ladies had reached their intended destination, and had numerous tnends in Paris to advise and assist them; besides that I had too long neglected the real object of my trip, and should lose no time in finding out the Callonbys, and at once learn what prospect of suc- cess awaited me in that quarter. leaving my fair friends then to reiresh themselves after the journey, and consigning Mr. O'Leary to the enjoyment of his meerschaum, through the aid of which he had rendered his apartment like a Dutch swamp in autumn the only portion of his own figure visible through the mist being his short legs and heavy shoes, 1 set forth at Just HARRY LORREQUER. 199 On reaching the house in the Rue de la Paix, where the Callonbys had resided, I learned that they were still at Baden, and were not expected in Paris for some weeks ; that Lord Kilkee had arrived that morning, and was then dining at the Embassy, having left an invi- tation for me to dine with him on the following day, if I happened to call. As I turned from the door, uncertain whither to turn my steps, I walked on unconsciously toward the Boulevard, and occu- pied as I was, thinking over all the chances before me, did not per- ceive where I stood till the bright glare of a large gas lamp over my head apprised me that I was at the door of the well-known Salon des Etrangers, at the corner of the Rue Richelieu ; carriages, cita- dines, and vigilantes, were crowding, crashing, and clattering on all sides, as the host of fashion and the gaming-table were hasten- ing to the champ de battaille. Not being a member of the Salon, and having little disposition to enter, if I had been, I stood for some . minutes looking at the crowd as it continued t press on toward the splendid and brilliantly lighted stairs, which leads from the very street, to the rooms of this palace, for such, in magnificence and luxury of its decorations, it really is. As I was on the very eve of turning away, a large and very handsome cab-horse turned the corner from the balustrade, with the most perfect appointment of harness and carriage I had seen for a long time. While I continued to admire the taste and propriety of the equi- page, a young man in deep mourning sprung from the inside, and stood upon the pavement before me. "A deux heures, Charles," said he to his servant, as the cab turned slowly round. The voice struck me as well known. I waited till he approached the lamp, to catch a glimpse of the face; and what was my surprise to recognize my cousin, Guy Lorrequer of the 10th, whom I had not met with for six years before. My first impulse was not to make myself known to him. Our mutual position with regard to Lady Jane was so much a mystery, as regarded myself, that I feared the result of any meeting, until I was sufficiently aware of how matters stood, and whether we were to meet as friends and relations, or rivals, and con- sequently enemies. Before I had time to take my resolution, Guy had recognized me, and seizing me by the hand with both his, called, " Harry, my old friend, how are you? how long have you been here, and never to call on me? Why, man, what is the meaning of this?" Before I had time to say that I was only a few hours in Paris, he again interrupted me by saying, " And how comes it that you are not in mourning? You must surely have heard it." "Heard what?" I cried, nearly hoarse from agitation. " Our poor old friend, Sir Guy, didn't you know, is dead?" Only those who have felt how strong the ties of kindred are, as they decrease in number, can tell how this news fell upon my heart.. All my poor uncle's kindnesses came one by one full upon my memory; his affectionate letters of advice; his 'well- meant chidings, too, even dearer to me than his praise and approval, completely unmanned me; and I stood speechless and powerless be- fore my cousin as he continued to detail to me the rapid progress of Sir Guy's malady, an attack of gout in the head, which carried him off in three days. Letters had been sent to me in different places, but none reached; and at the very moment the clerk of my uncle's 200 ' HARRY LORREQUER. lawyer was in pursuit of me through the Highlands, where some mis- taken information had induced him to follow me. " You are, therefore," continued Guy, " unaware that your uncle has dealt so fairly by you, and indeed by both of us; I have got the Somersetshire estates, which go with the baronetcy; but the Cum- berland property is all yours; and I heartily wish you joy of having nearly eight thousand per annum, and one of the sweetest villas that ever man fancied on Derw cutwater. But come along here," con- tinued he; and he led me through the crowded corridor and up the wide stair; " I have much to tell you, and we can be perfectly alone here; no one will trouble themselves with us." Unconscious of all around me, I followed Guy along the gilded and glittering lobby which led to the salon, and it was only as the servant in rich livery came forward to take my hat and cane that I remembered where I was. Then the full sense of dll I had been listening to rushed upon me, and the unfitness, and indeed the indecency of the place for such communications as we were engaged in, came most forcibly before me. Sir Guy, it is true, always preferred my cousin to me; he it was who was always destined to succeed both to his title and estates, and his wildness and extravagance had ever met with a milder rebuke and weaker chastisement than my follies and my misfortunes. Yet still he was my last remaining relative; and the only one I pos- sessed in all the world to whom in any difficulty or trial I had to look up; and I felt, in the very midst of my newly-acquired wealth and riches, poorer and more alone than ever I had done in my life- time. I followed Guy to a small and dimly -lighted cabinet off the great salon, where, having seated ourselves, he proceeded to detail to me the various events which a few short weeks had accomplished. Of himself he spoke but little, and never once alluded to the Callon- bys at all ; indeed all I could learn was that he had left the army, and purposed remaining for the winter at Paris, where he appeared to have entered into all its gayety and dissipation at once. " Of course," said he, " you will give up ' sodgering' now; at the best it is but poor sport after flve-and- twenty; and is perfectly unendurable when a man has the means of pushing himself in the gay world; and now, Harry, let us mix a little among the mob here; for Messieurs les Banquiers don't hold people in estimation who come here only for the ' chapons au riz, ' and the champagne glacee as we should seem to do were we to stay here much longer." Such was the whirl of my thoughts, and so great the confusion in my ideas from all I had just heard', that I felt myself implicitly fol- lowing every direction of my cousin, with a child-like obedience, of the full extent of which I became only conscious when I found my- self seated at the table of the sa on, between my cousin Guy and an old, harcl-visaged, pale-countenanced man, who he told me in a whisper was Vilelfe the Minister. _ "What a study for a man who would watch the passions and emo- tions of his fellow-men would the table of a rouge et noir gambling- house present the skill and dexterity which games of other kinds require, being here wanting, . leave the player free to the full aban- donment of the passion. The interest is not a gradually increasing or vacillating one, as fortune and knowledge of the game favor; .HARRY LORREQUER. 301 the result Is uninfluenced by anything of his doing; with the last turned card of the croupier is he rich or ruined; and thus in the very abstraction of the anxiety is this the most painfully exciting of all gambling whatever; the very ratttle of the dice- box to the hazard player is a relief; and the thought that he is in some way instrumental in his good or bad fortune gives a turn to his thoughts. There is something so like the inevitable character of fate associated with the result of a chance, which you can in no way effect or avert, that I have, notwithstanding a strong bias for play, ever dreaded and avoided the rouge et noir table: hitherto prudential motives had their share in the resolve; a small loss at play becomes a matter of importance to a sub in a marching regiment ; and, there- fore, I was firm in my determination to avoid the gambling-table. Now my fortunes were altered; and as I looked at the heap of shin- ing louis-d'or, which Guy pushed before me in exchange for a billet de banque of large amount, I felt the full importance of my altered position, mingling with the old and long practiced prejudices which years had been accumulating to fix. There is besides some wonder- ful fascination to most men in the very aspect of high play; to pit your fortune against that of another to see whether or not your luck shall not exceed some other's are feelings that have a place in most bosoms, and are certainly, if not naturally existing, most easily gen- erated in the bustle and excitement of the gambling-house. The splendor of the decorations; the rich profusion of gilded ornaments; the large and gorgeously framed mirrors ; the sparkling lusters, min- gling their effects with the perfumed air of the apartment, filled with orange trees and other aromatic shrubs ; the dress of the company, among whom were many ladies in costumes not inferior to those of a court; the glitter of diamonds ; the sparkle of stars and decorations, rendered more magical by knowing that the wearers were names in history. There, with his round, but ample shoulders, and large, massive head, covered with long, snow-white hair, stands Talley- rand, the maker and unmaker of kings, watching with a look of un- concealed anxiety the progress of his game. Here is Soult, with his dogged look and beetled brow ; there stands Balzac, the author ; his gains here are less derived from the betting than the bettors ; he is evidently making his own of some of them, while, in the seeming bonhomie of his careless manner and easy abandon, they scruple not to trust him with anecdotes and traits that from the crucible of his fiery imagination come forth like the purified gold from the furnace. And there look at that old and weather-beaten man, with gray eye- brows and mustaches, who throws from the breast-pocket of his frock, ever and anon, a handful of gold pieces upon the tabls ; he evidently neither knows nor cares for the amount, for the banker him self is obliged to count over the stake for him that is Blucher, the never-wanting attendant at the Salon ; he has been an immense loser, but plays on with the same stern perseverance with which he would pour his bold cavalry through a ravine torn by artillery; he stands by the still waning chance with a courage that never falters. One strong feature of the leveling character of a taste for play has never ceased to impress me most forcibly not only do the individual peculiarities of the man give way before the all-absorbing passion but stranger still, the very boldest traits of nationality even fade and 202 HARRY LORREQTJER. disappear before it; and man seems, under the high-pressure power of this greatest of all stimulants, resolved into a most abstract state Among all the traits which distinguish Frenchmen from natives of every other country, none is more prominent than a kind of never- failing elasticity of temperament, which seems almost to defy all the power of misfortune to depress. Let what will happen, the French- man seems to possess some strong resource within himself, in his ardent temperament upon which he can draw at will, and whether on the day after a defeat, the moment of being deceived in his strong- est hopes of returned affection the overthrow of some long-cher- ished ivish it matters not he never gives way entirely; but see him at the gaming-table watch the intense, the aching anxiety with which his eye follows every card as it falls from the hand of the croupier behold the look of cold despair that tracks his stake as the banker rakes it in among his gains and you will at once per- ceive that here, at least, his wonted powers fail him. No jest escapes the lips of one, that would badinet upon the steps of the guillotine. The mocker who would jeer at the torments of revolution, stands like a coward, quailing before the impassive eye and pale cheek of a croupier. While I continued to occupy myself by observing the different groups about me, I had been almost mechanically following the game, placing at each deal some gold upon the table; the result however had interested me so slightly, that it was only by remarking the attention my game had excited in others, that my own was drawn toward it. I then perceived that I had permitted my win- nings to accumulate upon the board, and that in the very deal then commencing, I had a stake of nearly five hundred pounds upon the deal. || Faites votre jeu, le jeuestfait," said the croupier; " trente-deux. " " You have lost, by Jove," said Guy, in a low whisper, in which I could detect some trait of agitation. " Trente et une," said the croupier. " Rouge perd, et couJeur." There was a regular buzz of wonder through the room at my ex- traordinary luck, for thus with every chance against me, I had won again. As the croupier placed the billets de banque upon the table, I overheard the muttered commendations of an old veteran behind me upon the coolness and judgment of my play; so much for fortune, thought I, my judgment consists in a perfect ignorance of the chances, and my coolness is merely a thorough indifference to suc- cess. Whether it was now that the flattery hud its effect upon me, or that the passion for play, so long dormant, had suddenly seized hold upon me, I know not, but my attention became from that moment riveted upon the game, and I played every deal. Guy, who had been from the first betting with the indifferent success which I have so often observed to attend upon the calculations of old and experienced gamblers, now gave up, and employed himself merely in watching my game. "Harry," said he, at last, " I am completely puzzled as to HAKRY LORREQUER. 203 "Fifteen thousand francs!" said the croupier, with a look of surprise. " Then be it," said I, " quinze mille francs, rouge." In a moment the rouge won, and the second deal I repeated the bet, and so continuing on with the like success; when I was prepar ing my rouleau for the fifth, the banker rose, and saj r ing: ' Messieurs, la banque est ferine pour ce sou 1 ," proceeded to lock his cassette, and closed the table. "You are satisfied now," said Guy, rising; " you see you have broke the bank, and a veiy pretty incident to commence with on your first introduction to a campaign in Paris." Having changed my gold for notes, I stuffed them with an air of well-affected carelessness into my pocket, and strolled through the Salon, where I had now become an object of considerably more in- terest than all the marshals and ministers about me. " Now, Hal," said Guy; " I'll just order our supper in the cabi- net, and join you in a moment." As I remained for some minutes awaiting Guy's return, my atten- tion was drawn toward a crowd in a smaller saloon, among whom the usual silent decorum of the play-table seemed held in but small respect, for every instant some burst of hearty laughter or some ex- pression of joy or anger burst forth, by which I immediately per- ceived that they were the votaries of the roulette table, a game at which the strict propriety and etiquette ever maintained at rouge et noir, are never exacted. As I pressed near, to discover the cause of the mirth, which every moment seemed to augment, guess my sur- prise to perceive among the foremost rank of the players, my ac- quaintance, Mr. O'Leary, whom I at that moment believed to be solac- ing himself with his meerschaum at Meurice's! My astonishment at how he obtained admission to the Salon was even less than my fear of his recognizing me. At no time is it agreeable to find that the man who is regarded as the buffo of a party turns out to be your friend, but still less is this so, when the individual claiming ac- quaintance with you presents any striking absurdity in his dress or manner, strongly at contrast with the persons and things about him; and thus it now happened Mr. O'Leary 's external man, as we met him on the Calais road, with its various accompaniments of blouse- cap, spectacles, and tobacco-pipe, were nothing very outre or re- markable, but when the same figure presents itself among the ele- gants of the Parisian world, redolent of eau de Portugal, and superb in the glories of brocade waistcoats and velvet coats, the thing was too absurd, and I longed to steal away before any chance should present itself of a recognition. This, however, was impossible, as the crowd from the other table were all gathered round us, and I was obliged to stand fast, and trust that the excitement of the game, in which he appeared to be thoroughly occupied, might keep his eye fixed on another quarter. I now observed that the same scene in which I had so lately been occupied at the rouge et noir table, was enacting here, under rather different circumstances. Mr. O'Leary was the only player, as I had just been not, however, because his success absorbed all the interest of the bystanders, but that, unfortunately, his constant want of it elicited some strong expression of discontent and mistrust from him, which excited the loud laughter of the others} 204 HAKRY LORREQUER. but, of which, from his great anxiety in his game, he seemed totalh, unconscious. " Faites votre jeu, messieurs," said. the croupier. " Wait a bit till I change this," said Mr. O'Leary, producing an English sovereign. . The action interpreted his wishes, and the money was converted into cmipons dejeu. I now discovered one great cause of the mirth of the bystanders, at least the English por- tion of them. Mr. O'Leary, when placing his money upon the table, observed the singular practice of announcing aloud the amount of his bet, which, for his own information, he not only reduced to En- glish, but also Irish currency. Thus the stillness of the room was every instant broken by a strong Irish accent, pronouncing some- thing of this sort: "five francs," "four and a penny;" "ten francs," " eight and three ha'pence. " The amusement thus caused was increased by the excitement his losses threw him into. He now ceased to play for several times, when at last he made an offering of his usual stake. " Perd," said the croupier, raking in the piece with a contempt- uous air at the smallness of the bet, and in no way pleased that the event the other players from )ivil another song you sing you're not cheating all the uv>uo au. ciu iric ouiauiic Ui tile UUl, ULIU 111 11U WttJ pltJSlSKU iUdl IU.K interest Mr. O'Leary excited should prevent the other players from betting. "Perd," said O'Leary, "again. Divil another song you sing than 'perd,' and I'm not quite clear while only, God help you if you are-!" As he so said, the head of a huge black-thorn stick was half pro- truded across the table, causing renewed mirth ; for, among other regulations, every cane, however trifling, is always demanded at the door; and thus a new subject of astonishment arose as to how he had succeeded in carrying it with him into the Salon. " Here's at you again," said O'Leary, regardless of the laughter, and covering three or four numbers with lu&jetons. Round went the ball once more and once more he lost. " Look now, divil a lie in it, he makes them go wherever he pleases. I'll take a turn now at the tables; fair play's a jewel and we'll see how you'll get on." So saying, he proceeded to insinuate himself into the chair of the croupier, whom he proposed to supersede, by no very gentle means. This was of course resisted, and as the loud mirth of the bystanders grew more and more boisterous, the cries of " a la porte! a la porte!" from the friends of the bank rung through the crowd. " Go it, Pat go it, Pat!" said Guy, over my shoulder, who seemed to take a prodigious interest in the proceedings. At this unexpected recognition of his nativity, for Mr. O'Leary never suspected he could be discovered by his accent, he looked across the table and caught my eye at once. " Oh, I'm safe now! Stand by me, Mr. Lorrequer, and we'll clear the room!" So saying, and without further provocation, he upset the croupier, cliair and all, with one sudden jerk upon the floor, and giving a tre- rcendous kick to the cassette, sent all the five-franc pieces flying over fcim; he then jumped upon the table, and brandishing his blackthorn trough the ormolu luster, scattered the wax-lights on all sides, ac- companying the exploit by a yell that would have called up all Con- HARRY LORREQUER. 205 nemara at midnight, if it had only been heard there. In an instant the gendarmes, always sufficiently near to be called in if required, came pouring into the room, and supposing the whole affair had been a preconcerted thing to obtain possession of the money hi the bank, commenced capturing different members of the company who appeared, by enjoying the confusion, to be favoring and assisting it. My cousin Guy was one of the first so-treatel a proceeding to which he responded by an appeal rather in favor with most Englishmen, and at once knocked down the gendarme; this was the signal for a general engagement, and accordingly, before an explanation could possibly be attempted, a most terrific combat ensued, the Frenchmen in the room siding with the gendarmerie, and making common cause against the English, who, although greatly inferior in number, possessed considerable advantage from long habit hi street rowi and boxing encounters. : As for myself, I had the good fortune to be pitted against a very pursy and unwieldy Frenchman, who sacre'd to admiration, but never put in a single blow at me. While, there- fore, I amused myself practicing what old Cribb called " the one, two " upon his fat carcass, I had abundant tune and opportunity to watch all that was doing about me, and truly a more ludicrous affair I never beheld. Imagine about fifteen or sixteen young Englishmen, most of them powerful, athletic fellows, driving an indiscriminate mob of about five times their number before them, who, with cour- age enough to resist, were yet so totally ignorant of the boxing art, that they retreated, pell-mell, before the battering phalanx of their sturdy opponents the most ludicrous figure of all being Mr. O'Leary himself, who, standing upon the table, laid about him with a brass luster that he had unstrung, and did considerable mischief with this novel instrument of warfare, crying out the entire time. " Murder every mother's son of them!" " Give them another taste of Waterloo!" Just as he had uttered the last patriotic sentiment, he received a slight admonition from behind, by the point of a gen- darme's sword, which made him leap from the table with the alac- rity of a harlequin, and come plump down among the thickest of the fray. My attention was now directed elsewhere, for above all the din and " tapage " of the encounter I could plainly hear the row-dow- dow of the drums, and the measured tread of troops approaching, and at once guessed that a reinforcement of the gendarmerie were coming up. Behind me there was a large window, with a heavy scarlet curtain before it; my resolution was at once taken; I floored my antagonist, whom I had till now treated with the most merciful forbearance, and immediately sprung behind the cur tain. A second's consideration showed that in the search that must ensue this would afford no refuge, so I at once opened the sash, and endeavored to ascertain at what height I was above the ground beneath me ; the night was so dark that I could see nothing, but judging from the leaves and twigs that reached to the window, that it was a garden beneath, and auguring from the perfumed smell of the shrubs, that they could not be tall trees, I resolved to leap, a resolve I had little time to come to, for the step of the soldiers was already heard upon the stair. Fixing my hat then down upon my brows, and buttoning my coat tightly, I let myself down from the window-sill by my hands, and fell upon my legs iu the soft earth of the garden, safo 206 HAREY LORREQUER. and unhurt. From the increased clamor and din overhead, I could learn the affray was at its height, and had little difficulty in detect- ing the sonorous accent and wild threats of my friend Mr. O'Leary high above all the other sounds around him. I did not wait long, however, to enjoy them ; but at once set about securing my escape from my present bondage. In this I had little difficulty, for I was directed by a light to a small door, which, as I approached, I found that it led into the den of the Concierge, and also communicated by another door with the street. I opened it, therefore, at once, and was in the act of opening the second, when I felt myself seized by the collar by a strong hand; and on turning round saw the sturdy figure of the Concierge himself with a drawn bayonet within a few inches of my throat: " Tenez, mon ami," said I, quietly, and plac- ing half a dozen louis, some of my recent spoils, in his hand, at once satisfied him that, even if I were a robber, I was at least one who understood and respected the convenances of society. He at once relinquished his hold and dropped his weapon, and pulling off his cap with one hand, to draw the cord which opened the Porte Co- chere with the other, bowed rne politely to the street, I had scarcely had time to insinuate myself into the dense mass of people whom the noise and confusion within had assembled around the house, when the double door of the building opened, and a file of gendarmerie came forth, leading between them my friend Mr. O'Leary and some others of the rioters among whom I rejoiced to find my cousin did not figure. If I were to judge from his disordered habiliments and scarred visage, Mr. O'Leary 's resistance to the constituted authori- ties must have been a vigorous one; and the drollery of his appear- ance was certainly not decreased by his having lost the entire brim of his hat the covering of his head bearing, under these distressing cir- cumstances, a strong resemblance to a saucepan. As I could not at that moment contribute in any way to his rescue, I determined on the following day to be present at his examination and render him all the assistance in my power. Meanwhile, I re- turned to Meurice's, thinking of every adventure of the evening much more than of my own changed condition and altered fortunes. CHAPTER XXIX. PABIB. THE first thing which met my eye, when walking in the morning, after the affair at the Salon, was the rouleau of billets de banque which I had won at play; and it took several minutes before I could persuade myself that the entire recollection of the evening had any more solid foundation than a heated brain and fevered imagination. The sudden spring from being a subaltern in the th, with a few hundreds per annum " pour tout potage," to becoming the verita- ble proprietor of several thousands, with a handsome house in Cum- berland, was a consideration which I could scarcely admit into my mind so fearful was I, that the very first occurrence of the day should dispel the illusion, and throw me back into the dull reality which I was hoping to escape from. There is no adags more true than the old Latin one " that what HARRY LORREQUER. 207 tve wish, we readily believe;" so, I had little difficulty in convincing myself that all was as I desired although, certainly, mv confused memory of the past evening contributed little to that conviction. It was, then, arnid a veiy whirl of anticipated pleasures, and new schemes for enjoying life, that I sat down to a breakfast, at which, that I might lose no time in commencing my race, I had ordered the most recherche viands which even French cookery can accomplish for the occasion. My plans were soon decided upon. I resolved to remain only long enough in Paris to provide myself with a comfortable traveling car- riage secure a good courier and start for Baden ; when I trusted that my pretensions, whatever favor they might have been once re- ceived with, would certainly now, at least, be listened to with more prospect of being successful. I opened the Galignani's paper of the day, to direct me in my search, and had scarcely read a few lines before a paragraph caught my eye, which not a little amused me; it was headed Serious riot at tTie Salon des Strangers, and attempt to rob the Bank: " Last evening, among the persons who presented themselves at the table of this fashionable resort, were certain individuals, who, by their names and dress, bespoke anything rather than the rank and condition of those who usually resort there, and whose admission is still unexplained, notwithstanding the efforts of the police to unravel the mystery. The proprietors of the bank did not fail to remark these persons; but scrupled, from fear of disturbing the propriety of the Salon, to take the necessary steps for their exclusion reserving their attention to the adoption of precautions against such intrusion in future unfortunately, as it turned out eventually, for, toward eleven o'clock, one of these individuals, having lost a considerable sum at play, proceeded in a very violent and outrageous manner to denounce the bank, and went so far as to accuse the croupier of cheating. This language having failed to excite the disturbance it was evidently intended to promote, was soon followed up by a most dreadful personal attack upon the banquier, in which he was thrown from his seat, and the cassette, containing several thousand francs in gold and notes, immediately laid hold of. The confusion now be- came considerable, and it wag apparent that the whole had been a pre- concerted scheme. Several persons, leaping upon the table, at- tempted to extinguish the great luster of the salon, in which bold attempt they were most spiritedly resisted by some of the other play- ers and the gendarmes, who by this time had arrived in force. The riot was quelled after a prolonged and desperate resistance, and the rioters, with the exception of two, were captured, and conveyed to prison, where they await the result of a judicial investigation of which we shall not fail to lay the particulars before our readers. " Since our going to press, we have learned that one of the ring- leaders in this vile scheme is a noted English escroca swindler who was already arrested at C for traveling with a false passport; but who contrives, by some collusion with another of the gang, to evade the local authorities. If this be the case, we trust he will be speedily detected and brought to punishment. ' ' Whatever amusement 1 had found in reading the commencing portion of this ridiculous misstatement, the allusion in the latter part 208 HAKRT LORREQUER. by no means afforded me equal pleasure; and I saw, in one rapid glance, how much annoyance, and how many delays and impedi- ments, a charge, even of this ridiculous nature, might give rise to in my present circumstances. My passport, however, will settle all thought I as I thrust my hand toward my pocket, in which I had placed it along with some letters. Guess my misery to discover that the whole of the pocket had been cut away, probably in the hope of obtaining the billets de banque I had won at play, but which I had changed from that pocket to a breast one on leaving the table. This at once led me to suspect that there might be some truth in the suspicion of the newspaper writer of a preconcerted scheme, and at once explained to me what had puzzled me much before the extreme rapidity with which the ele- ments of discord were propagated, for the whole affair was the work of a few seconds. While I continued to meditate on these matters, the waiter entered with a small note in an envelope, which a com- missionaire had just left at the hotel for me, and went away, saying there was no answer. I opened it hastily, and read: ' DEAR H : The confounded affair of last night has induced me to leave this for a few days: besides that I have obtained a most excellent reason for absenting myself in the presence of a black eye, which will prevent my appearance in public for a week to come. As you are a stranger here, you aeed not fear being detected. With all its desagrements, 1 can't help laughing at the adventure, and I am heartily glad to have had the opportunity of displaying old Jack- son's science upon those wretched gendarmes. " Yours truly, G. L." This, certainly, thought I, improves my position. Here is my cousin Guy the only one to whom, in any doubt or difficulty here, I could refer here he is flown without letting me know where to address him or find him out. I rang my bell hastily, and having written a line on my card, requesting Lord Kilkee to come to me as soon as he could, dispatched it to the Kue de la Paix. The messen- ger soon returned with an answer, that Lord Kilkee had been obliged to leave Paris late the evening before, having received some import- ant letters HARKF. LOiUtEQUEB. hotnie and ferocity in his features which the soldiers of Napoleon's army either affected or possessed naturally. His features, which were handsome, and the expression of which was pleasing, were, as it seemed, perverted by the warlike turn of a most terrific pair of whiskers and mustaches, from their naturally good-humored bent; and the practiced frown and quick turn of his dark eyes were evi- dently only the acquired advantages of his military career; a hand- some mouth, with singularly regular and good teeth, took much away from the farouche look of the upper part of his face; and contributed, with the aid of a most pleasing voice, to impress you in his favor; his dress was a blue braided frock decorated with the cordon of the legion ; but neither these nor the clink of his long cavalry spurs, were necessary to convince you that the man was a soldier; besides that, there was that mixture of urbanity and aplomb in his manner which showed him to be perfectly accustomed to the usages of the best society. " May I beg to know," said he, as he seated himself slowly, " if this card contains your name and address?" handing me at the same moment one of my visiting-cards. I immediately replied in the affir- mative. " You are then in the English service?" "Yes." " Then, may I entreat your pardon for the trouble of these ques- tions, and explain the reason of my visit. I am the friend of Le Baron D'Haulpenne, with whom you had the altercation last night in the Salon, and in whose name I have come to request the address of a friend on your part." Ho, ho, thought I, the baron is then the stout gentleman that I pummeled so unmercifully near the window ; but how came he by my card? and besides hi a row of that kind, I am not aware how far the matter can be conceived to go further that what happens at the moment. These were the thoughts of a second of time, and before I could reply anything, the captain resumed : " You seem to have forgotten the circumstance, and so indeed should I like to do; but unfortunately D'Haulpenne says that you struck him with your walking-cane; so you know, under such a state of things, there is but one course." " But gently," added I; " I had no cane whatever the last even- ing." " Oh! I beg pardon," interrupted he; " but my friend is most posi- tive in his account, and describes the altercation as having continued from the Salon to the street, when you struck him, and at the same time threw him your card. Two of our officers were also pi and although, as it appears from your present forgetfulness. that the thing took place in the heat and excitement of the moment, still ' " But still," said I, catching up his last words, " I never did strike the gentleman as you describe never had any altercation in the street and " " Is that your address?" said the Frenchman, with a single bow. " Yes, certainly it is." " Why then," said he, with a slight curl of his upper lip half emile, half derision "Oh! make yourself perfectly easy," I replied. " If any one has HARRY LORREQUER. by an accident made use of my name, it shall not suffer by such a mis- take. I shall be quite at your service, the moment I can find out a friend to refer you to. " I had much difficulty to. utter these few words with a suitable degree of temper, so stung was I by the insolent demeanor of the Frenchman, whose coolness and urbanity seemed only to increase every m.oment. " Then I have the honor to salute you," said he, rising, with great mildness in his voice; " and shall take the liberty to leave my card for the information of your friend." So saying, he placed his card upon the table " Le Capitaine Eugene de Joncourt, Cuirassiers de la Garde." " I need not press upon Monsieur the value of dispatch." "I shall not lose a moment," said I, as he clattered down the stairs of the hotel, with that perfect swaggering noncfialance whHi a Frenchman is always an adept in; and I returned to my room, to meditate upon my numerous embarrassments, and think over the difficulties which every moment was contributing to increase the number of. " The indictment has certainly many counts," thought I. Imprimis A half -implied, but fully comprehended promise to marry a young lady, with whom, I confess, I only intend to journey this life as far as Baden. Secondly, a charge of swindling for such the imputation amounts to at the Salon. Thirdly, another unaccountable delay in joining the Callonbys, with whom I am every hour in the risk of being " compromis;" and lastly, a duel in perspective with some confounded Frenchman who is at this very moment practicing at a pistol gallery. Such were the heads of my reflections, and such the agreeable im- pressions my visit to Paris was destined to open with; how they were to be followed up I reserve for another chapter. CHAPTER XXX. CAPTAIN TREV ACTION'S ADVENTURE. As the day was now waning apace, and I was still unprovided with any one who could act as my second, I set out upon a search through the various large hotels in the neighborhood, trusting that amid my numerous acquaintance I should be fortunate enough to find some of them at Paris. With a most anxious eye I scanned the list of arrivals at the usual haunts of my countrymen, in the Rue Rivoli and the Place Vendome, but without success; there were long catalogues of "Milors," with their "couriers," &c., but not one name known to me in the number. I repaired to Gaglinani's library, which, though crowded as ever with English, did not present to me one familiar face. From thence I turned into the Palais Royal, and at last, completely jaded by walk- ing, and sick from disappointment, I sat down upon a bench in the Tuilleries Garden. I had scarcely been there many minutes when a gentleman accost- ed me in English, saying, "May I ask if this be your property?" HARRY LORREQUER. 213 Bhowing, at the same time, a pocket-book which I had inadvertently dropped in pulling out my handkerchief. As I thanked him for his attention, and was about to turn away, I perceived that he continued to look very steadily at me. At length he said: " I think I am not mistaken. I have the pleasure to see Mr. Lor- requer, who may perhaps recollect my name, Trevanion of the 43d. The last time we met was at Malta."* " Oh, I remember perfectly. Indeed I should be very ungrateful if I did not; for to your kind offices there I am indebted for my life. You must surely recollect the street row at ' the Caserne '?" "Yes; that was rather a brisk affair while it lasted; but, pray, how long are you here?" " Merely a few days; and most anxious am I to leave a"s soon as possible ; for independently of pressing reasons to wish myself else- where, I have had nothing but trouble and worry since my arrival, and at this instant am involved in a duel, without the slightest cause that I can discover, and, what is still worse, without the aid of a single friend to undertake the requisite negotiations for. me." " If my services can in any way assist " " Oh, my dear captain, this is really so great a favor that I cannot say how much I thank you." *' Say nothing whatever, but rest quite assured that 1 am com- pletely at your disposal; for although we are not veiy old friends, yet I have heard so much of you from some of ours, that I feel as if we had been long acquainted." This was an immense piece of good fortune for me; for of all the persons I knew, he was the most suited to aid me at this moment. In addition to a thorough knowledge of the Continent and its habits, he spoke French fluently, and had been the most renomme authority in the duello to a large military acquaintance; joining to a consum- mate tact and cleverness in his diplomacy, a temper that never per- mitted itself to be ruffled, and a most unexceptionable reputation for courage. In a word, to have had Trevanion for your second, was not only to have secured odds in your favor, but still better, to have obtained the certainty that, let the affair take what turn it might, you were sure of coming out of it with credit. He was the only man I have ever met, who had much mixed him- self in transactions of this nature, and yet never by any chance had degenerated into the fire-eater; more quiet, unassuming manners it was impossible to meet with, and in the various anecdotes I have heard of him, I have always traced a degree of forbearance, that men of less known bravery might not venture to practice. At the same time, when once roused by anything like premeditated insult or pre-determined affront he became almost ungovernable, and it would be safer to beard the lion in his den than cross his path. Among the many stories, and there were a great many current in his regiment concerning him, there was one so singularly characteristic of the man, that, as I have passingly mentioned his name here, I may as well relate it; at the same time premising that, as it is well known, I may only be repeating an often-heard tale to many of my readers. When the regiment to which Trevanion belonged became part of the army of occupation in Paris, he was left at Versailles seriously 914: HARRY LORREQUER. ill from the effects of a saber-wound he received at "Waterloo, and from which his recovery at first was exceedingly doubtful. At the end of several weeks, however, he became out of danger, and was able to receive the visits of his brother officers, whenever they were fortunate enough to obtain a day's leave of absence to run down and see him. From them he leained that one of his oldest friends in the regiment had fallen in a duel, during the time of his illness, and that two other officers were dangerously wounded one of whom was not expected to survive. When he inquired as to the reasons of these many disasters, he was informed that since the entrance of the allies into Paris, the French officers, boiling with rage and indigna- tion for their recent defeat, and smarting under the hourly disgrace which the presence of their conquerors suggested, sought out, by every means in their power, opportunities of insult; but always so artfully contrived as to render the opposite party the challenger, thus reserving to themselves the choice of the weapons. When, there- fore, it is borne in mind that the French- are the most expert swords- men in Europe, little doubt can exist as to the issue of these com- bats; and, in fact, scarcely a morning passed without three or four English or Prussian officers being carried through the Barriere de 1'Etoile, if not dead, at least seriously wounded, and condemned to carry with them through life the inflictions of a sanguinary and sav- age spirit of revenge. While Trevanion listened to this sad recital, and scarcely did a day come without adding to the long catalogue of disasters, he at once perceived that the quiet deportment and unassuming demeanor, which so strongly characterize the English officer, were construed by their French opponents into evidences of want of courage, and saw that to so systematic a plan for slaughter no common remedy could be applied; and that some " coup d'etat " was absolutely necessary to put it down once and forever. In the history of these sanguinary rencontres, one name wa* continually recurring, generally as the principal, sometimes the in- stigator, of the quarrel. This was an officer of a chasseur regiment, who had the reputation of being the best swordsman in the whole French army, and was no less distinguished for his " skill at fence," than his uncompromising hatred of the British, with whom alone, of all the allied forces, he was ever known to come in contact. So celebrated was the " Capitaine Augustin Gendemar" for his pur- suits, that it was well known at that time in Paris that he was the president of a dueling club, associated for the expressed and avowed object of provoking to insult, and as certainly dooming to death, every English officer upon whom they could fasten a quarrel. The Cafe Philidor, at that period in the Rue Vivienne, was the rendezvous of this reputable faction, and here, " le Capitaine " reigned supreme, receiving accounts of the various " affairs " which were transacting counselling and plotting for the future. His ascendancy among his countrymen was perfectly undisputed, and being possessed of great muscular strength, with that peculiarly " farouche " exterior, without which courage is nothing in France, he was in every way calculated for the infamous leadership he as- sumed. It was, mfortunately, to this same cafe, being situated in what HARRY LORREQUER. 215 was called the English quarter, that the officers of the 43d regiment were in the habit of resorting, totally unaware of the plots by which they were surrounded, and quite unsuspecting the tangled web of deliberate and cold-blooded assassination in which they were In- volved, and here took place the quarrel, the result of which was the death of Trevanion's friend, a young officer of great promise, and universally beloved in his regiment. As Trevanion listened to these accounts, his impatience became daily greater, that his weak state should prevent his being among his brother officers, when his advice and assistance were so imperatively required, and where, amid all the solicitude of his perfect recovery, he could not but perceive they ardently wished for him. The day at last arrived, and restored to something like his former self, Trevanion once more appeared in the mess-room of his regiment. Amid the many sincere and hearty congratulations on his recovered looks were not a few half -expressed hints that he might not go much out into the world for some little time to come. To these friendly admonitions Trevanion replied by a good-humored laugh, and a ready assurance that he understood the intended kindness, and felt in nowise disposed to be invalided again. " In fact," said he, " I have come up here to enjoy life a little, not to risk it; but, among the sights of your gay capital, I must certainly have a peep at your famed captain, of whom I have heard too much not to feel an inter- est in him." Notwithstanding the many objections to this, made with a view to delay his visit to the Philidor to a later period, it was at length agreed that they should all repair to the cafe that evening, but upon the express understanding that eveiy cause of quarrel should be strictly avoided, and that their stay should be merely sufficient to satisfy Trevanion's curiosity as to the personnel of the renomme cap- tain. It was rather before the usual hour of the cafe's filling, that a number of English officers, among whom was Trevanion, entered the " salon " of the " Philidor;" having determined not to attract any unusual attention, they broke into little knots and parties of threes and fours, and dispersed through the room, where they either sipped their coffee or played their dominoes, then, as now, the staple re- source of a French cafe. The clock over the " comptoir " struck eight, and, at the same in- stant, a waiter made his appearance, carrying a small table which he placed beside the fire, and, having trimmed a lamp, and placed a large fauteuil before it, was about to withdraw, when Trevanion, whose curiosity was roused by the singularity of these arrangements, determined upon asking for whose comfort they were intended. The waiter stared for a moment at the question, with an air, as if doubting the seriousness of him who put it, and at last, replied: " Pour Monsieur le Capitaine, je crois," with a certain tone of signifi- cance upon the latter words. " Le Capitaine! but what captain?" said he, carelessly; " for I am a captain, and that gentleman there and there, too, is another," at the same instant throwing himself listlessly into the well-cushioned chair, and stretching out his legs at full length upon the hearth. The look of horror which this quiet proceeding on his part eli<* 216 HARRY LORREQUER. Ited from the poor waiter so astonished him that he could not help saying: "Is there anything the matter with you, my friend; are you ill?" "No, monsieur, not ill; nothing the matter with me: hut you, sir; oh, you, sir, pray come away." "Me," said Trevanion; "me! why, my good man, I was never better in my life; so now just bring me my coffee and the Moni- teur, if you have it there; don't stare that way, but do as I bid you." There was something in the assured tone of these few words that either overawed or repressed every rising feeling of the waiter for his interrogator; for, silently handing his coffee and the newspaper, he left the room ; not, however, without bestowing a parting glance so full of terror and dismay that our friend was obliged to smile at it. All this was the work of a few minutes, and not until the noise of new arrivals had attracted the attention of his brother officers did they perceive where he had installed himself, and to what danger he was thus, as they supposed, unwittingly exposed. It was now, however, too late for remonstrance, for already several- French officers had noticed the circumstance, and by their inter, change of looks and signs, openly evinced their satisfaction at it and their delight at the catastrophe which seemed inevitable to the luckless Englishman. In perfect misery at what they conceived their own fault in not apprising him of the sacred character of that place, they stood si- lently looking at him, as he continued to sip his coffee, apparently unconscious of every thing and person about him. There was now a more than ordinary silence in the cafe, which at all times was remarkable for the quiet and noiseless demeanor of its frequenters, when the door was flung open by the ready waiter, and the Captain Augustin Gendemar entered. He was a large, squarely -built man, with a most savage expression of countenance, which a bushy beard, and shaggy, overhanging mustache, served successfully to assist; his eyes were shaded by deep, projecting brows and long eyebrows slanting over them, and increasing their look of piercing sharpness ; there was in his whole air and demeanor that certain French air of swaggering bullyism, which ever remained in those who, having risen from the ranks maintained the look of ruffianly defiance which gave their early character for courage peculiar merit. To the friendly salutations of his countryjnen he returned the slightest and coldest acknowledgments, throwing a glance of disdain around him as he wended his way to his accustomed place beside the fire. This he did with as much of noise and swagger as he could well contrive; his saber and sabretasche clanking behind, his spurs jangling, and his heavy step made purposely heavier to draw upon him the notice and attention he sought for. Trevanion alone tes- tified no consciousness of his entrance, and appeared totally engrossed by the columns of his newspaper, from which he never lilted his eyes for an instant. Le Capitame at length reached the fire-place, when, no sooner did he behold his accustomed seat in the possession. of another, than he absolutely started back with surprise and anger. What might have been his first impulse it is hard to say, for, as HARRY LORREQUER. the blood rushed to his face and forehead, he clinched his hands firmly, and seemed for an instant, as he eyed the stranger, like a tiger about to spring upon his victim; this was but for a second, for turning rapidly round toward his party, he gave them a look of peculiar meaning, showing two rows of white teeth, with a grin which seemed to say, " I have taken my line;" and he had done so. He now ordered the waiter, in a voice of thunder, to bring him a chair; this he took roughly from him, and placed with a clash, upon the floor, exactly opposite that of Trevanion, and still so near a* scarcely to permit of his sitting down upon it. The noisy vehe- mence of this action at last appeared to have roused Trevanion's at- tention, for he now, for the lirst time, looked up from his paper, and quietly regarded his vis-a-vis. There could not hi the world be a stronger' contrast to the bland look and courteous expression of Trevanion's handsome features than the savage scowl of the enraged Frenchman, in whose features the strong and ill-repressed workings of passion were twitching and distorting every lineament and line; indeed, no words could ever convey one half so forcibly as did that look, insult open, palpable, deep, determined insult. Trevanion, whose eyes had been merely for a moment lifted from his paper, again fell, and he appeared to take no notice whatever of the extraordinary proximity of the Frenchman, still less of the sav- age and insulting character of his looks. Le Capitaine, having thus failed to bring on the edairdssement he sought for, proceeded to accomplish it by other means, for, taking the lamp, by the light of which Trevanion was still reading, he placed it at his side of the table, and at the same instant stretching across his arm, he plucked the newspaper from his hand, giving at the same moment a glance of triumph toward the bystanders, as though he would say, " You see what he must submit to. " Words cannot describe the astonishment of the British officers, as they be- held Trevanion, under this gross and open insult, content himself by a slight smile and half bow, as if returning a courtesy, and then throw his eyes downward, as if engaged in deep thought, while the triumphant sneer of the French, at this unaccountable conduct, was absolutely maddening to them to endure. But their patience was destined to submit to stronger proof, for at this instant Le Capitaine stretched forth one enormous leg, cased in his massive jack-boot, and with a crash deposited the heel upon the foot of their friend Trevanion. At length he is roused, thought they, for a slight flush of crimson flitted across his cheek, and his upper lip trembled with a quick spasmodic twitching; but both these signs were over in a second, and his features were as calm and unmoved as before, and his only appearance of consciousness of the affront was given by his drawing back his chair, and placing his legs be neath it, as for protection. This last insult, and the tame forbearance with which it was sub. mitted to, produced all their opposite effects upon the bystanders, and looks of ungovernable rage and derisive contempt were every moment interchanging; indeed, were it not for the all-absorbing in- tcrest which the two great actors in the scene had concentrated upon themselves, the two parties must have come at once into open conflict. The clock of the cafe struck nine, the hour at which Gendemar 218 HARRY LORREQUER. always retired, so calling to the waiter for his petit verre of brandy, he replaced his newspaper upon the table, and putting both his el- bows upon it, and his chin upon his hands, he stared full in Trevan- ion's face with a look of the most derisive triumph, meant to crown the achievement of the evening. To this, as to all his former insults, Trevanion appeared still insensible, and merely regarded him with his never-changing half smile; the petit verre arrived; Le Capitaine took it in his hand, and, with a nod of most insulting familiarity, saluted Trevanion, adding with a loud voice, so as to be heard on eveiy side, "A votre courage, Anglais." He had carcely swallowed the liquor when Trevanion rose slowly from the chair, displaying to the astonished gaze of the Frenchman the im- mense proportions and gigantic frame of a man well-known as the largest officer in the British army ; with one stride he was beside the chair of the Frenchman, and with the speed of lightning he seized his nose by one hand, while with the other he grasped his lower jaw, and, wrenching open his mouth with the strength of an ogre, he spat down his throat. So sudden was the movement, that before ten seconds had elapsed, all was over, and the Frenchman rushed from the room holding the fragments of his jaw-bone (for it was fractured !), and followed by his countrymen, who, from that hour, deserted the Cafe Philidor, nor was there ever any mention of the famous captain during the stay of the regiment in Paris. CHAPTER DIFFICULTIES. WHILE we walked together toward Meurice's, I explained to Tre- vanion the position in which I stood; and having detailed, at full length, the fracas at the Salon, and the imprisonment of O'Leary, entreated his assistance in behalf of him, as well as to free me from some of my many embarrassments. It was strange enough though at first so pre-occupied was I with other thoughts that I paid but little attention to it that no part of my eventful evening seemed to make so strong an impression on him as my mention of having seen my cousin Guy, and heard from him the death of my uncle. At this portion of my story he smiled, with so much significance of meaning, that I could not help asking his reason. " It is always an unpleasant task, Mr. Lorrequer, to speak in any way, however delicately, in a tone of disparagement of a man's rela- tives and, therefore, as we are not long enough acquainted " " But pray," said 1, " waive that consideration, and only remem- ber the position in which I now am. If you know anything of this business, I entreat you to tell me I promise to take whatever you may be disposed to communicate, in the same good part it is in- tended." " Well, then, I believe you are right; but, first, let me ask you, how do you know of your uncle's death: for I have reason to doubt it?" * From Guy; b-s told me himself." HARRY LORREQUEK. 319 " When did you see him and where?" " Why, I have just told you; I saw him last night at the Salon." " And you could not be mistaken." " Impossible. Besides, he wrote to me a note which I received this morning here it is." "Hem ha. Well, are you satisfied that this is his hand-writ ing?" said Trevanion, as he perused the note slowly twice over. " Why of course but stop you are right; it is not his hand, nor do I know the writing, now that you direct my attention to it. But what can that mean? You surely do not suppose that I have mis- taken any one for him; for, independent of all else, his knowledge of my family, and my uncle's affairs, would quite disprove that." " This is really a complex affair," said Trevanion, musingly, " How long may it be since you saw your cousin before last night, I mean?" " Several years; above six, certainly." " Oh, it is quite possible, then," said Trevanion, musingly; " do you know, Mr. Lorrequer, this affair seems much more puzzling to me than to you, and for this plain reason I am disposed to think you never saw your cousin last night." " Why, confound it, there is one circumstance that I think may satisfy you on that head. You will not deny that I saw some one who very much resembled him ; and certainly, as he lent me above three thousand francs to play with at the table, it looks rather more like his act than that of a perfect stranger." " Have you got the money?" asked Trevanion, dryly. "Yes, "said I: "but certainly you are the most unbelieving of mortals, and I am quite happy that I have yet in my possession two of the billets de banque, for, I suppose, without them, you would scarcely credit me." I here opened my pocket-book and produced the notes. He took them, examined them attentively for an instant, held them between him and the light, refolded them, and, having placed them in my pocket-book, said: " I thought as much, they are for- geries." "Hold!" said I. " My cousin Guy, whatever wildness he may have committed, is yet totally incapable of " " I never said the contrary," replied Trevanion, in the same dry tone as before. " Then what can you mean, for 1 see no alternative between that and totally discrediting the evidence of my senses." " Perhaps I can suggest a middle course," said Trevanion; " lend me therefore a patient hearing for a few moments, and I may be able to throw some light upon this difficult matter. You may never have heard that there is in this same city of Paris a person so ex- tremely like your cousin Guy that his most intimate friends have daily mistaken the one for the other, and this mistake has the more often been made from the circumstance of their both being in the habit of frequenting the same class in society, where, knowing and walking with the same people, the difficulty of discriminating has been greatly increased. This individual, who has too many aliases for one to know which to particularize him by. is one of that numer- ous order of beings whom a high state of civilization is always en- 220 HARRY LORREQUER. gendering and throwing up on the surface of society; he is a man of low birth and mean connections, but gifted with most taking man- ners and unexceptionable address and appearance; these advantages, and the possession of apparently independent means, have opened to him the access of a certain set of people, who are well known and well received in society, and obtained for him, what he prizes much more, the admission into several clubs where high play is car- ried on. In this mixed assemblage, which sporting habits and gam- bling (that grand leveler of all distinctions) have brought together, this man and your cousin Guy met frequently, and, from the con- stant allusion to the wonderful resemblance between them, your ec- centric cousin, who, I must say, was never too select in his acquaint- ances, frequently amused himself by practical jokes upon his friends, which served still more to nurture the intimacy between them; and from this habit Mr. Dudley Morewood, for such is his latest patronymic, must have enjoyed frequent opportunities of hearing much of your family and relations, a species of information he never neglected, though at the moment it might appear not so immedi- ately applicable to his purposes. Now, this man, who knows of every new English arrival in Paris with as much certainty as the police itself, would at once be aware of your being here, and having learned from Guy how little intercourse there had been of late years between you, would not let slip an opportunity of availing himself of the likeness, if anything could thereby turn to his profit." ' Stop, "cried I; "you have opened my eyes completely, for now I remember that, as I continued to win last night, this man, who was playing hazard at another table, constantly borrowed from me, but always in gold, invariably refusing the billets de banque as too high for his game." "There his object was clear enough; for besides obtaining your gold, he made you the means of disseminating his false billets de banque." " So that I have been actually playing and winning upon this fel- low's forgeries," said I; " and am perhaps at this very instant in- scribed in the ' Livre noir ' of the police as a most accomplished swindler; but what could be the intention of his note of this morn- ing?" "As to that," said Trevanion, "it is hard to say; one thing you may assuredly rely upon it is not an unnecessary epistle, whatever be its object; he never wastes his powder when the game flies too high; so we must only wait patiently for the unravelment of his plans, satisfied that we, at least, know something. What most sur- prises me is his venturing at present to appear in public; for it is not above two months since an escapade of his attracted so much attention of the play world here, that he was obliged to leave, and it was supposed that he would never return to Pans." " One piece of good fortune there is at least," said I, "which, I can safely say, repays me for any and all the annoyance this unhappy affair may cause me : it is that my poor old uncle is still alive and well. Not all my anticipated pleasures in newly-acquired wealth could have afforded me the same gratification that this fact does, for, although never so much his favorite as my cousin, yet the sense of protection the feeling of confidence which is inseparable from the HARRY LORREQUEB. degree of relationship beween us standing, as he has ever done, in the light of a father to me, is infinitely more pleasurable than the possession of riches, which must ever suggest to me the recollection of a kind friend lost to me forever. But so many thoughts press on me so many effects of this aif air are staring me in the face I really know not which way to turn, nor can I even collect my ideas sufficiently to determine what is first to be done." " Leave all that to me," said Trevanion; " it is a tangled web, but I think I can unravel it; meanwhile, where does the Militaire reside? for, among all your pressing engagements, this affair with the French- man must come off first; and for this reason, although you are not really obliged to give him satisfaction, by his merely producing your card, and insisting that you are to be responsible for the misdeeds of any one who might show it as his own address, yet I look upon it as a most fortunate thing, while charges so heavy may be at this moment hanging over your head, as the proceedings of last night in- volve, that you have a public opportunity of meeting an antagonist in the field thereby evincing no fear of publicity, nor any intention of absconding ; for be assured that the police are at this moment in possession of what has occurred, and from the fracas which fol- lowed, are well disposed to regard the whole as a concerted scheme to seize upon the property of the banque, a not uncommon wind-up here after luck fails. My advice is, therefore, meet the man at cnce; I shall take care that the prefect is informed that you have been imposed upon by a person passing himself off as your relative, and enter bail for your appearance whenever you are called upon; that being done, we shall have time for a moment's respite to look around us, and consider the other bearings of this difficult business." " Here, then, is the card of address," said I; " Eugene Dejoncourt, Capitaine de Cavalerie, No. 8, Chausse D'Antin." " Dejoncourt! why, confound it, this is not so pleasant; he is about the best shot in Paris, and a very steady swordsman besides. I don't like this." " But you forget, he is the friend, not the principal here." " The more good fortune yours," said Trevanion, dryly; " f or I acknowledge I should not give much for your chance at twenty paces opposite his pistol; then, who is the other?" " Le Baron d'Haulpenne," said I, "and his name is all that 1 know of him; his very appearance is unknown to me." " I believe I am acquainted with him," said Trevanion; "but here we are at Meurice's. Now I shall just write a few lines to a legal friend, who will manage to liberate Tax. O'Leary, whose services we shall need ; two persons are usual on each side in this counry, and then 'al'ouvrage.' ' The note written and dispatched, Trevanion jumped into a cab, and set out for the Chausse D'Antin, leaving me to think over, as well as I could, the mass of trouble and confusion that twenty- four hours of life in Paris had involved me in. HABRY LOBBEQUEB. CHAPTER XXXfl. EXPLANATION. IT was past seven o'clock when Trevanion made his appearance, accompanied by O'Leary; and having in few words informed me that a meeting was fixed for the following morning, near St. Cloud, proposed that we should at once go to dinner at Verey's, after which we should have plenty of time to discuss the various steps to be tak- en. As we were leaving the hotel for this purpose, a waiter re- quested of me to permit Mr. Meurice to speak a few words to me; which, having agreed to, I entered the little bureau where this czar of hotels sits enthroned, and what was iny surprise to learn the re- quest he had to prefer was nothing less than that I would so far oblige him as to vacate the room I possessed in the hotel, adding that my compliance would confer upon him the power to accommodate a " milor " who had written for apartments, and was coming with a large suite of servants. Suspecting that some rumor of the late aft air at Frascati's might have influenced my friend Meurice in this unusual demand, 1 abruptly refused, and was about to turn away, when he, perhaps guessing that I had not believed his statements, handed me an open letter, saying, " You see, sir, this is the letter; and as I am BO pressed for spare room, I must now refuse the writer." As my eye glanced at the writing, I started back in amazement to perceive it was in my cousin Guy's hand, requesting that apartments might be retained for Sir Guy Lorrequer, my uncle, who was to arrive in Paris by the end of the week. If any doubt had remained on my mind as to the deception 1 had been duped by, this would have completely dispelled it, but I had long before been convinced of the trick, and only wondered how the false Guy Mr. Dudley Morewood had contrived to present himself to me so opportunely, and by what means, in so short a space of time, he had become ac- quainted wifli my personal appearance. As I mentioned this circumstance of the letter to Trevanion, he could not conceal his satisfaction at his sagacity in unraveling the mystery, while this new intelligence confirmed the justness and ac- curacy of all his explanations. While we walked along toward the Palais Ptoyal, Trevanion en- deavored, not very successfully, to explain to my friend O'Leary the nature of the trick which had been practiced, promising, at another tune, some revelations concerning the accomplished individual who had planned it, which, in boldness and daring, eclipsed even this. Any one who in waking has had the confused memory of a dream, in which events have been so mingled and mixed as to present no Uniform narrative, but only a mass of strange and incongruous oc- currences, -without object or connection, may form some notion of the state of restless excitement my brain suffered from, as the many and conflicting ideas my late adventures suggested presented them- elves to my mind in rapid succession. The glare, the noise, and the clatter of a French cafe are certainly HARRY LORREQUER. 223 not the agents most in request for restoring a man to the enjoyment of his erring faculties ; and, if I felt addled and confused before, I had scarcely passed the threshold of Verey's, when I became abso- lutely like one in a trance. The large salon was more than usually crowded, and it was with difficulty that we obtained a place at a table, where some other English were seated, among whom I recog- nized my lately made acquaintance, Mr. Edward Bingham. Excepting a cup of coffee, I had taken nothing the entire day, and so completely did my anxieties of different kinds subdue all appetite that the most recherche viands of this well-known restaurant did not in the least tempt me. The champagne alone had any attraction for me ; and, seduced by the icy coldness of the wine, I drank copiously. This was all that was wanting to complete the maddening confusion of my brain, and the effect was instantaneous ; the lights danced be- fore my eyes, the lusters whirled round, and, as the scattered frag- ments of conversation on either side met my ear, I was able to form some not very inaccurate conception of what insanity may be. Politics and literature, Mexican bonds and Noblet's legs, Pates deperdreaua and the quarantine laws, the extreme gaucheund the " Bains Chinois," Victor Hugo and rouge et noir, had formed a species of grand ballet d'action in my fevered brain, and I was perfectly beside myself. Occasionally, too, I would revert to my own concerns, although I was scarcely able to follow up any train of thought for more than a few seconds together, and totally inadequate to distinguish the false from the true. I continued to confound the counterfeit with my cousin, and wonder how my poor uncle, for whom I was about to put on the deepest mourning, could possibly think of driving me out of my lodgings. Of my duel for the morning I had the most shadowy recollections, and could not perfectly comprehend whether it was O'Leary or I was the principal, and indeed cared but little. In this happy state of independent existence I must have passed a consider- able time, and, as my total silence when spoken to, or my irrelevant answers, appeared to have tired out my companions, they left me to the uninterrupted enjoyment of my own pleasant imaginings. "Do you hear, Lorrequer?" at last said Trevanion. "Are you asleep, my dear friend? This gentleman has been good enough to invite us to breakfast to morrow at St. Cloud." 'I looked up, and was just able to recognize the well-trimmed mus- tache of Mr. Edward Bingham, as he stood mumbling something be- fore me. " St. Cloud what of St. Cloud?" said I. " We have something in that quarter to-morrow." " What is it O'Leary? Can we go?" " Oh! certainly our engagement is an early one." " We shall accept your polite invitation with pleasure " Here he stopped over and whispered something in my ear what, I cannot say ; but I know that my reply, now equally lost to me, produced a hearty fit of laughing to my two friends. My next recollection is, iinding myself in a crowded loge at the theater. It seems that O'Leary had acceded to a proposal from some of the other party to accompany them to the Porte St. Martin, where Mrs. Bingham and her daughter had engaged a box. Amid all the confusion which troubled thoughts and wine produced in me, I could VOt help perceiving a studied politeness and attention on the part of HARRY LORREQUER. Mr. Edward Bingham toward me; and my first sobering reflection came, on finding that a place was reserved for me beside Miss Bing- ham, into which, by some contrivance I can in nowise explain, I found myself almost immediately installed. To all the excitements of champagne and punch, let the attractions of a French ballet be added, and with a singularly pretty companion at. your side, to whom you have already made sufficient advances to be aware that you are no longer indifferent to her, and I venture to predict, that it is much more likely your conversation will incline to flirting than political economy; and, moreover, that you make more progress during the performance of one single pas de deux upon the stage, than you have hitherto done in ten morning calls, with an unexceptionable whisker and the best fitting gloves in Paris. Alas ! alas ! it is only the rich man that ever wins at rouge et noir. The well -insured Indiaman, with her cargo of millions, comes safe into port ; while the whole venture of some hardy veteran of the wave founders within sight of his native shore. So is it ever; where success would be all and every thing, it never comes but only be indifferent or regardless, and fort- une is at your feet, suing and imploring your acceptance of her favors. What would I not have given for one half of that solicitude now so kindly expressed in my favor by Miss Bingham, if syllabled by the lips of Lady Jane Callonby how would my heart have throb- bed for one light smile from one while I ungratefully basked in the openly avowed preference of the other. These were my first thoughts --what were the succeeding ones? " Comment elle est belle," said a French woman, turning round in the box next to us, and directing at the same moment the eyes of a mustached hero upon my fair companion. What a turn to my thoughts did this unexpected ejaculation give rise to ! I now began to consider her more attentively, and certainly concurred fully -in the Frenchwoman's verdict. I had never seen her look half so well before. The great fault in her features, which were most classically regular, lay in the monotony and uniform charac- ter of their expression. Now this was quite changed. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and her eyes more brilliant than ever; while her slightly parted lips gave a degree of speaking earneotness to her expression, that made her perfectly beautiful. Whether it was from this cause I cannot say, but I certainly never felt so suddenly decided in my life from one course to its yeiy oppo- site, as I now did to make I'aimable to my lovely companion. And here, I fear, I must acknowledge, in the honesty of these conf cs sional details, that vanity had also its share in the decision. To be the admitted and preferred suitor of the prettiest woman in company, is generally a strong inducement to fall desperately in love with her, independently of other temptations for so doing. How far my successes tallied with my good intentions in this re- spect, I cannot now say. I only remember, that more than once O'Leary whispered to me something like a caution of some sort or other; but Emily's encouraging smiles and still more encouraging speeches had far more effect upon me than all the eloquence of the united service, had it been engaged in my behalf, would have effected., Mrs. Bingham, too who, to do her justice, seemed but little cognizant of our proceeding from time to time evinced tliat HARRY LORREQUER. 226 species of motherly satisfaction which wry young men rejoice much ; CHAPTER XXXV. THE DUEL. MR. O'LEARY had scarcely concluded the narrative of his second adventure, when the gray light of the breaking day was seen faintly struggling through the half -closed curtains, and apprising us of the lateness of the hour. 238 HARRY LOEREQUER. " I think we shall just have time for one finishing flask of Cham bertin," said O'Leary, as he emptied the bottle into his glass. " I forbid the bans for one," cried Trevanion. " We have all had wine enough, considering what we have before us this morning ; and besides you are not aware it is now past four o'clock. So, garcon garcon, there how soundly the poor fellow sleeps let us have some coffee, and then inquire if a carriage is in waiting at the corner of the Rue Vivienne." The coffee made its appearance, very much, as it seemed, to Mr. O'Leary's chagrin; who, however, solaced himself by sundry petits verres, to correct the coldness of the wine he had drank, and at length recovered his good humor. " Do you know now," said he, after a short pause, in which we had all kept silence, " 1 think what we are about to do is the very ugliest way of finishing a pleasant evening. For my own part I like the wind up we used to have in ' Old Trinity ' formerly; when after wringing off half a dozen knockers, breaking the lamps at the post- office, and getting out the fire-engines of Werburgh's parish, we beat a few watchmen and went peaceably to bed." " "Well, not being an Irishman," said Trevanion, " I'm half dis posed to think that even our present purpose is nearly as favorable to life and limb; but here comes my servant. Well, John, is all arranged, and the carnage ready?" Having ascertained that the carriage was in waiting, and. that the small box brass-bound and Bramah-locked -reposed within, we paid our bill and departed. A cold, raw; misty-looking morning, with masses of dark lowering clouds overhead, and channels of dark and murky water beneath, were the pleasant prospects which met us as we issued forth from the cafe. The lamps, which hung suspended midway across the street (we speak of some years since), creaked with a low and plaintive sound, as they swung backward and foiward in the wind. Not a footstep was heard in the street, nothing but the heavy patter of the rain as it fell ceaselessly upon the broad pave- ment. It was, indeed, a most depressing and dispiriting accompani- ment to our intended excursion: and even O'Leary, who seemed to have but slight sympathy with external influences, felt it, for he spoke but little, and was scarcely ten minutes in the carriage till he was sound asleep. This was, I confess, a great relief tome; for, however impressed I was, and to this hour am, with the many sterling qualities of my poor friend, yet, I acknowledge, that this was not precisely the time I should have cared for their exercise, and would have much preferred the companionship of a different order of person, even though less long acquainted with him. Trevanion was, of all others, the most suitable for this purpose; and I felt no embarrassment in opening my mind freely to him upon subjects which, but twenty-four hours previous, I could not have imparted to a brother. There is no such unlocker of the secrets of the heart as the possibly near approach of death. Indeed, I question if a great deal of the bitter- ness the thought of it inspires does not depend upon that very circum- stance. The reflection that the long-treasured mystery of our lives (and who is there without some such?) is about to become known, and the secret of our inmost heart laid bare, is in itself depressing. HARRY LORREQTJER. 239 Kot one kind word, nor one remembrancing adieu, to those we are to leave forever, can be spoken or written, without calling up its own story of half -forgotten griefs, or, still worse, at such a moment, of happiness never again to be partaken of. " I cannot explain why," said I to Trevanion, " but although it has unfortunately been pretty often my lot to have gone out on oc- casions like this, both as principal and friend, yet never before did I feel so completely depressed and low-spirited and never, in fact, did so many thoughts of regret arise before me for much of the past, and sorrow for the chance of abandoning the future " " I can understand, " said Trevanion, interrupting " I have heard of your prospect in the Callonby family, and certainly, with such hopes, I can well conceive how little one would be disposed to brook the slightest incident which could interfere with their accomplish- ment; but, now, that your cousin Guy's pretensions in that quarter are at an end, I suppose, from all I have heard, that there can be no great obstacle to yours." " Guy's pretensions at an end! For Heaven's sake, tell me all you know of this affair for up to this moment I am in utter ignorance of everything regarding his position among the Callonby family." '' Unfortunately," replied Trevanion, " I know but little, but still that little is authentic Guy himself having imparted the secret to a very intimate friend of mine. It appears, then, that your cousin, having heard that the Callonbys had been very civil to you in Ire- land, and made all manner of advances to you had done so under the impression that you were the other nephew of Sir Guy, and con- sequently the heir of a large fortune that, is, Guy himself and that they had never discovered the mistake during the time they resided in Ireland, when they not only permitted, but even encouraged the closest intimacy between you and Lady Jane. Is so far true?" " I have long suspected it. Indeed in no other way can I account for the reception I mel with from the Callonbys. But is it possible that Lady Jane could have lent herself to anything so unworthy " " Pray, hear me out," said Trevanion, who was evidently struck by the despondency of my voice, and manner. " Guy, having heard of their mistake, and auguring well to himself from this evidence of their disposition, no sooner heard of their arrival in Paris, than he came over here and got introduced to them. From that time he scarcely ever left their house, except to accompany them into society, or to the theaters. It is said that with Lady Jane he made no prog- ress. Her manner, at the beginning cold and formal, became daily more so; until, at last, he was half disposed to abandon the pursuit in which, by the bye, he has since confessed, moneyed views entered more than any affection for the lady when the thought struck him to benefit by what he supposed at first to be the great bar to his success. He suddenly pretended to be only desirous of an intimacy with Lady Jane, from having heard so much of her from you affected to be greatly in your confidence and, in fact, assumed the character of a friend cognizant of all your feelings and hopes, and ardently de- siring, by every means hi his power, to advance your views " " And was it thus he succeeded?" I broke in. " 'Twas thus he endeavored to suroeed," said Trevanion. ''Ah, with what success I but tou well know," said I. "My 240 HARRY LORREQUER. uncle himself showed me a letter from Guy, in which he absolutely speaks of the affair as settled, and talks of Lady Jane as about to be his wife." " That may be all quite true ; but a little consideration of Guy's tac- tics will show what he intended; for I find that he induced your uncle, by some representations of his, to make the most handsome proposals, with regard to the marriage, to the Callonbys ; and that, to make the story short, nothing but the decided refusal of Lady Jane, who at length saw through his entire game, prevented the match." " And then she did refuse him?" said I, with ill-repressed exul- tation. " Of that there can be no doubt; for independently of all the gos- sip and quizzing upon the subject to which Guy was exposed in the coteries, he made little secret of it himself openly avowing that he did not consider a repulse a defeat, and that he was resolved to sus- tain the siege as vigorously as ever." However interested I felt in all Trevanion was telling me, I could not help falling into a train of thinking on my first acquaintance with the Callonbys. There are, perhaps, but few things more humiliating than the knowledge that any attention or consideration we have met with, has been paid us in mistake for another; and in the very proportion that they were prized before, are they detested when the truth is known to us. To all the depressing influences these thoughts suggested, came the healing balm that Lady Jane was true to me that she, at least, however others might be biased by worldly considerations that she cared for me for myself alone. My reader (alas ! for my character for judgment) knows upon how little I founded the conviction; but I have often, in these confessions, avowed my failing, par excellence, to be a great taste for self-deception ; and here was a capital occasion for its indulgence. " We shall have abundant time to discuss this later on," said Tre- vanion, laying his hand upon my shoulder to rouse my wandering attention " for now I perceive, we have only eight minutes to spare." As he spoke a dragoon officer, in an undress, rode up to the window of the carriage, and looking steadily at our party for a few seconds, asked if we were " Messieurs les Anglais;" and, almost without wait- ing for a reply, added, " You had better not go any further in your carriage, for the next turn of the road will bring you in sight 01 the village." We accordingly stopped the driver, and having with some difficulty aroused O'Leary, got out upon the road. The mililaire here gave his horse to a groom and proceeded to guide us through a corn-field by a narrow path, with whose windings and crossings he appeared quite conversant. We at length reached the brow of a little hill, from which an extended view of the country lay before us, showing the Seme winding its tranquil course between the richly tilled fields, dotted with many a pretty cottage. Turning abruptly from this point, our guide led us by a narrow and steep path into a little glen, planted with poplars and willows. A small stream ran thro ugb HARRY LORREQUBR. this, and by the noise we soon detected that a mill was not far dis- tant, which another turning brought us at once in front of. And here 1 cannot help dwelling on the " tableau" which met our view. In the porch of the little rural mill sat two gentlemen, one of whom I immediately recognized as the person who had waited upon me, and the other I rightly conjectured to be my adversary. Before them stood a small table, covered with a spotless napkin, upon which a breakfast equipage was spread a most inviting melon and a long slender-necked bottle, reposing in a little ice-pail, form- ing part of the "materiel.'" My opponent was coolly en joying his cigar a half -finished cup of coffee lay beside him his friend was occupied in examining the caps of the dueling pistols, which were placed upon a chair. No sooner had we turned the angle which brought us in view than they both rose, and taking off then* hats with much courtesy, bade us good-morning. " May I offer you a cup of coffee," said Monsieur Derigny to me, as I came up, at the same time filling it out, and pushing over a little flask of Cogniac toward me. A look from Trevanion decided my acceptance of the proffered civility, and I seated myself in the chair beside the baron. Trevanion meanwhile had engaged my adversary in conversation along with the stranger, who had been our guide, leaving O'Leary alone unoc- eupied, which, however, he did Lot long remain; for, although un- invited by the others, he seized a knife and fork, and commenced a vigorous attack upon a partridge pie near him ; and, with equal ab- sence of ceremony, uncorked the champagne and filled out a foaming goblet, nearly one-third of the whole bottle, adding " I think, Mr. Lorrequer, there's nothing like showing them that we are just as cool and unconcerned as themselves." If I might judge from the looks of the party, a happier mode of convincing them of our " free-and-easy " feelings could not possibly have been discovered. From any mortification this proceeding might have caused me, I was speedily relieved by Treflmion calling O'Leary to one side, while he explained to him that he must nom- inally act as second on the ground, as Trevanion, being a resident in Paris, might become liable to a prosecution, should anything serious arise, while O'Leary, as a mere passer through, could cross the frontier into Germany, and avoid all trouble. O'Leary at once acceded perhaps the more readily because he ex- pected to be allowed to return to his breakfast but hi this he soon found himself mistaken, for the whole party now rose, and preceded by the baron, followed the course of the little stream. After about five minutes' walking, we found ourselves at the out- let of the glen, which was formed by a large stone quarry, making a species of amphitheater, with lofty walls of rugged granite, rising thirty or forty feet on either side of us. The ground was smooth and level as a boarded floor, and certainly to amateurs in these sort of matters, presented a most perfect spot for a " meeting." The stranger who had just joined us, could not help remarking our looks of satisfaction at the choice of .ground, and observed to me: " This is not the first affair that this little spot has witnessed, and the moulinet of St. Cloud is, I think, the very best ' meet ' about Paris." 242 HARRY LORREQUER. Trevanion, who, during these few minutes, had been engaged with Derigny, now drew me aside. " Well, Lorrequer, have you any recollection now of having seen your opponent before? or can you make a guess at the source of all this?" *' Never till this instant," said I, " have I beheld him, "as I looked toward the tall, stoutly-built figure of my adversary, who was very leisurely detaching a cordon from his tightly-fitting frock, doubtless to prevent its attracting my aim. " Well, never mind, I shall manage everything properly. What can you do with the small sword, for they have rapiers at the mill?" " frothing whatever; I have not fenced since I was a boy." " N'importe, then we'll fight at a barriere. I knovr they're not prepared for that from Englishmen, so just step on one side now, and leave me to talk it over." As the limited nature of the ground did not permit me to retire to a distance, I became involuntarily aware of a dialogue, which even the seriousness of the moment could scarcely keep me from laughing at outright. It was necessary, for the sake of avoiding any possible legal diffi- culty in the result, that O'Leary should give his assent to every step of the arrangement; and being totally ignorant of French, Trevanion had not only to translate for him, but also to render in reply O'Leary 's own comments or objections to the propositions of the others. " Then it is agreed, we fight at a barriere ?" said Captain Derigny. " What's that, Trevanion?" " We have agreed to place them at a barriere," replied Trevanion. "That's strange," muttered O'Leary to himself, who, knowing that the word meant a " turnpike," never supposed it had any other signification. " Vingt quatre pas, n'est pas?" said Derigny. " Too far," interposed Trevanion. " What does he say now?" asked O'Leary. " Twenty -four paces for the distance." "Twenty-four of my teeth he means," said O'Leary, snapping his fingers. " AVliat does he think of the length of Sackville Street? Ask him that, will ye?" " What says Monsieur?" said the Frenchman. " He thinks the distance much too great." " He may be mistaken," said the captain, half sneeringly. " My friend is ' de la premiere force.' " " That must be something impudent from your looks, Mr. Tre- vanion. Isn't it a thousand pities I can't speak French?" " What say you, then, to twelve paces? Fire together, and two shots each, if the first be inconclusive," said Trevanion. " And if necessary " added the Frenchman, carelessly, " con- clude with these " touching the swords with his foot, as he spoke. " The choice of the weapon lies with us, I opine," replied Tre- vanion. " We have already named pistols, and by them we shall decide this matter." It was at length, after innumerable objections, agreed upon that we shouM be placed back to back, and at a word given each walk HARRY LORREQUER. 243 forward to a certain distance maikedout by a stone, where we were to halt, and at the signal " Une," " Deux," turn round and fire. This, which is essentially a French invention in dueling, was per- fectly new to me, but by no means so to Trevanion, who was fully aware of the immense consequence of not giving even a momentary opportunity for aim to my antagonist; and in this mode of firing, the most practiced and deadly shot is liable to err, particularly if the signal be given quickty. jVhile Trevanion and the captain were measuring out the ground, a little circumstance which was enacted near .me was certainly not eyer calculated to strengthen my nerve. The stranger who had led us to the ground had begun to examine the pistols, and finding that one of them was loaded, turned toward my adversary, saying, " D'Haulpenne, you have forgotten to draw the charge. Come, let us see what vein you are in." At the same time, drawing off his large cavalry glove, he handed the pistol to his friend. " A double Napoleon you don't hit the thumb." " Done," said the other, adjusting the weapon in his hand. The action was scarcely performed, when the bettor flung the glove into the air with all his force. My opponent raised his pistol, waited for an instant, till the glove, having attained its greatest height, turned to fall again. Then click went the trigger the glove turned round and round half-a-dozen times, and fell about twenty yards off, and the thumb was found cut clearly off at the juncture with the hand. This, which did not occupy half as long as I have spent in re- counting it, was certainly a pleasant introduction to standing at fifteen yards from the principal actor, and I should doubtless have felt it in all its force had not my attention been drawn off by the ludicrous expression of grief in O'L^ary's countenance, who evi- dently regarded me as already defunct. "Now, Lorrequer, we 'are ready," said Trevanion,~*coming for- ward; and then, lowering his voice, added, " All is in your favor; I have won the ' word,' which I shall give the moment you halt. So turn and fire at once : be sure not to go too far round in the turn, that is the invariable error in this mode of firing, only no hurry: be calm." "Now, messieurs," said Derigny, as he approached with his friend leaning upon his arm, and placed him in the spot allotted him. Trevanion then took rny arm, and placed me back to back to my antagonist. As I took up my ground, it so chanced that my ad- versary's spur slightly grazed me, upon which he immediately turned round, and, with the most engaging smile, begged a " thou- sand pardons," and hoped I was not hurt. O'Leary, who saw the incident, and guessed the action aright, called out : " Oh, the cold-blooded villain; the devil a chance for you, Mr. Lorrequer." "Messieurs, your pistols," said Le Capitaine la Garde, who, as he handed the weapons, and repeated once more the conditions of the combat, gave the word to march. I now walked slowly forward to the place marked out by the stone; but it seemed that I must have been in advance of my oppo- 244 HARRY LORREQUEK. nent, for I remember some seconds elapsed before Trevanion coughed slightly, and then, with a clear full voice, called out " Une," " Deux." I had scarcely turned myself half round, when my right arm was suddenly lifted up, as if by a galvanic shock. My pistol jerked upward, and exploded the same moment, and then dropped powerless from my hand, which I now felt was covered with warm blood from a wound near the elbow. From the acute but momentary pang this gave me, my attention was soon called off; for scarcely had my arm been struck, when a loud chattering noise to my left induced me to turn, and then, to my astonishment, I saw my friend O'Leary about twelve feet from the ground, hanging on by some ash twigs that grew from the clefts of the granite. Frag- ments of broken rock were falling around him, and his own position momentarily threatened a downfall. He was screaming with all his might; but what he said was entirely lost in the shouts of laughter of Trevanion and the Frenchman, who could scarcely stand with the immoderate exuberance of their mirth. I had not time to run to his aid, which, although wounded, I should have done, when the branch he clung to, slowly yielded with his weight, and the round plump figure of my poor friend rolled over the little cleft of rock, and, after a few faint struggles, came tumbling heavity down, and at last lay peaceably in the deep heather at the bottom, his cries the whole time being loud enough to rise even above the vociferous laughter of the others. I now ran forward, as did Trevanion, when O'Leary, turning his eyes toward me, said in the most piteous manner: ' ' Mr. Lorrequer, I forgive vou, here is my hand, bad luck to their French way of fighting, that s all; it's only good for killing one's friend. I thought I was safe up there, come what might. " "My dear O'Leary," said I, in an agony which prevented my minding the laughing faces around me, "surely you don't mean to say that I have wounded you ?" " No, dear, not wounded, only killed me outright, through the brain it must be, from the torture I'm suffering. " The shout with which this speech was received sufficiently aroused me; while Trevanion, with a voice nearly choked with laughter, said: "Why, Lorrequer, did you not see that your pistol, on being struck, threw your ball high up on the quarry? Fortunately, how- ever, about a foot and a half above Mr. O'Leary 's head, whose most serious wounds are his scratched hands and bruised bones from his tumble." This explanation, which was perfectly satisfactory to me, was by no means so consoling to poor O'Leary, who lay quite unconscious to all around, moaning in the most melancholy manner. Some of the blood which continued to flow fast from my wound, having dropped upon his face, aroused him a little but only to increase his lamentation for his own destiny, which he believed was fast accom- plishing. ' Through the skull, clean through the skull, and preserving my senses to the last! Mr. Lorrequer, stoop down it is a dying man asks you don't refuse me a last request. There's neither luck nor g-ace, honor nor glory in such a way of lighting, so just promise me HARRY LORREQUER. 245 you'll shoot that grinning baboon there, when he's going off the ground, since it's the fashion to fire at a man with his back to you. Bring him down, and I'll die easy." And with these words he closed his eyes, and straightened out his legs stretched his arm at either side, and arranged himself as much corpse fashion as the circumstances of the ground would permit while I now freely participated in the mirth of the others, which, loud and boisterous as it was, never reached the ears of O'Leary. My arm had now become so painful, that I was obliged to ask Trevanion to assist me in getting off my coat. The surprise of the Frenchmen on learning that I was wounded was very considerable, O'Leary 's catastrophe having exclusively engaged all attention. My arm was now examined, when it was discovered that the ball had passed through from one side to the other, without apparently touch- ing the bone; the bullet and the portion of my coat carried in by it both lay in my sleeve. The only serious consequence to be ap- prehended was the wound of the blood-vessel, which continued to pour forth blood unceasingly, and I was just surgeon enough to guess that an artery had been cut. Trevanion bound his handkerchief tightly across the wound, and assisted me to the high-road, which, so sudden was the loss of blood, I reached with difficulty. During all these proceedings nothing could be possibly more kind and considerate than the conduct of our opponents. All the farouche and swaggering air which they had deemed " de rigueur " before, at once fled, and in its place we found the most gentlemanlike attention and true politeness. As soon as I was enabled to speak upon the matter, I begged Tre- vanion to look to poor O'Leary, who still lay upon the ground in a state of perfect unconsciousness. Captain Derigny, on hearing my wish, at once returned to the quarry, and, with the greatest diffi- culty, persuaded my friend to rise and endeavor to walk, which at last he did attempt, calling him to bear witness that, it perhaps was the only case on record, where a man with a bullet in his brain hai made such an exertion. With a view to my comfort and quiet, they put him into the cab of Le Baron ; and, having undertaken to send Dupuytrien to me im- mediately on my reaching Paris, took their leave, and Trevanion and I set out homeward. Not all my exhaustion and debility, nor even the acute pain I was suffering, could prevent my laughing at O'Leary 's adventure; and it required all Trevanion's prudence to prevent my indulging too far in my recollection of it. When I reached Meurice's, I found Dupuytrien in waiting, who Immediately pronounced the main artery of the limb as wounded; and almost as instantaneously proceeded to pass a ligature round it. This painful business being concluded, I was placed upon a sofa, and being plentifully supplied with lemonade, and enjoined to keep quiet, left to my own meditations, such as they were, till evening, Trevanion having taken upon him to apologize for our absence at Mrs. Bingham's dqeuner, and O'Leary being fast asleep in his own apartments. 246 HARKT LOKEEQUEB. CHAPTER XXXVi. EABLY RECOLLECTIONS A FIRST LOVE. I KNOW of no sensations so very nearly alike as those felt on awak- ing after very sudden and profuse loss of blood, and those resulting from a large dose of opium. The dizziness, the confusion, and the abstraction at first gradually yielding, as the senses become clearer, to a vague and indistinct consciousness ; then the strange mistiness, in which fact and fiction are wrapped up the confounding of per- sons, and places, and times, not so as to embarrass and annoy for the very debility you feel subdues all irritation but rather to present a panoramic picture of odd and incongruous events more pleasing than otherwise. Of the circumstances by which I was thus brought to a sick couch. I had not even the most vague recollection the faces and the dress of all those I had lately seen were vividly before me; but how, and for what purpose, I knew not. Something in their kindness and attention had left an agreeable impression upon my mind, and with- out being able, or even attempting to trace it, I felt happy in the thought. While thus the " hour before " was dim and indistinct, the events of years past were vividly and brightly pictured before me, and strange, too, the more remote the period, the more did it seem palpable and present to my imagination. For so it is, there is in memory a species of mental long-sightedness, which, though blind to the object close beside you, can reach the blue mountains and the starrv skies, which lie full many a league away. Is this a malady? or is it rather a providential gift to alleviate the tedious hours of the sick-bed, and cheer the lonely sufferer, whose thoughts are his only My school-boy days, in all their holiday excitement ; the bank where I had culled the earliest cowslips of the year; the clear but rapid stream, where days lorn I have watched the speckled trout, as they swam peacefully beneath, or shook their bright fins in the gay sun- shine; the gorgeous dragon-fly that played above the water, and dipped his bright wings in its ripple they were all before me. And then came the thought of school itself, with its little world of boyish cares and emulations; the early imbibed passion for success; the ardent longing for superiority; the high and swelling feeling of the heart, as home drew near, to think that I had gained the wished-for prize the object of many an hour's toil the thought of many a long night's dream; my father's smile; my mother's kiss! Oh! what a very world of tender meniory that one thought suggests ; for what are all our later successes in life how bright soever our fortune be compared with the early triumphs of our infancy? Where, among the jealous rivalry of some, the cold and half- wrung praise of others, the selfish and unsympathizing regard of all, shall we find anything to repay us for the swelling ecstasy of our young hearts, as those who have cradled and loved u> grow proud in our successes? For myself, a life that has fail".! to every prestige of those that HARRY LORREQtJER. 24t prophesied favorably years that have followed on each other only to blight the promise that kind and well-wishing friends foretold leave but little to dwell upon, that can be reckoned to success. And yet, some moments 1 have had, which half seemed to realize my early dream of ambition, and rouse my spirit within me; but what were they all compared to nay boyish glories ? what the passing excite- ment one's own heart inspires in the londy and selfish solitude, when compared with that little world of sympathy and love our early home teemed with, as proud in some trifling distinction, we fell into a mother's arms, and heard our father's " God bless you, boy "? No, no; the world has no requital for this. It is like the bright day- spring, which, as its glories gild the east, display before us a whole world of beauty and promise blighted hopes have not withered, false friendships have not scathed, cold, selfish interest has not yet hardened our hearts, or dried up our affections, and we are indeed happy; but equally like the burst of morning is it fleeting and short- lived ; and equally so, too, does it pass away, never, never to return. From thoughts like these my mind wandered on to more advanced years, when, emerging from my boyhood, I half believed myself a man, and was fully convinced I was in love. Perhaps, after all, for the time it lasted ten days, I think it was the most sincere passion I ever felt. I had been spending some weeks at a small watering-place in Wales, with some relatives of my mother. There were, as might be supposed, but few " distractions " in such a place, save the scenery, and an occasional day's fishing in the little river of Dolgelly, which ran near. In all these little rambles which the younger portion of the family made together, frequent mention was ever being made of a visit from a very dear cousin, and to which all looked forward with the greatest eagerness the elder ones of the party with a certain air of quiet pleasure, as though they knew more than they said, and the younger with all the childish exuberance of youthful delight. Clara Mourtray seemed to be, from all I was hourly hearing, the very paragon and pattern of everything. If any one was praised for beauty, Clara Avas immediately pronounced much prettier did any one sing, Clara's voice and taste were far superior. In our homeward walk, should the shadows of the dark hill fall with a picturesque effect upon the blue lake, some one was sure to say: " Oh! how Clara would like to sketch that." In short, there was no charm or accomplishment ever the gift of woman that Clara did not possess; or, what amounted pretty much to the same thing, that my relatives did not implicitly give her credit for. The constantly- recurring praises of the same person affect us always differently as we go on in life. In youth, the prevailing sentiment is an ardent, desire to see the prodigy of whom we have heard so much in after vears, heartily to detest what hourly hurts our self-love by compari- sons. We would take any steps to avoid meeting what we have in- wardly decreed to be a "bore." The former was my course, and though my curiosity was certainly very great, I had made up my mind to as great a disappointment, and half wished for the loug- looked-for arrival as a means of criticising what they could see no fault in. The wished-for evening at length came, and we all set out upon a walk to meet the carriage which was to bring the trien aime Clara 248 HARRY LORREQUER. among us. We had not walked above a mile when the eager eye of the foremost detected a cloud of dust upon the road at some dis- tance; and, after a few minutes more four posters were seen coming along at a tremendous rate. The next moment she was making the tour of about a dozen uncles, aunts, cousins and cousines, none of whom, it appeared to me, felt any peculiar desire to surrender the hearty embrace to the next of kin in succession. At last she came to me, when, perhaps, in the confusion of the moment, not exactly re membering whether or not she had seen me before, she stood for a moment silent a deep blush mantling her lovely cheek masses of waving brown hair disordered and floating upon her shoulders her large and liquid blue eyes beaming upon me. One look was enough. I was deeply irretrievably in love. " Our cousin Harry Harry Lorrequer wild Harry, as we used to call him, Clara," said one of the girls, introducing me. She held out her hand, and said something with a smile. What, I know not nor can I tell how I replied; but something absurd it must have been, for they all laughed heartily, and the worthy papa himself tapped my shoulder jestingly, adding: " Never mind, Harry you will do better one day, or I am much mistaken in you." Whether I was conscious that I had behaved foolishly or not, lean- not well say; but the whole of that night I thought over plans in- numerable how I should succeed in putting myself forward before " Cousin Clara," and vindicating myself against any imputation of school-boy mannerism that my first appearance might have caused. The next day we remained at home. Clara was too much fatigued to walk out, and none of us would leave her. What a day of happi- ness that was ! I knew something of music, and could sing a second. Clara was delighted at this, for the others had not cultivated singing much. We therefore spent the whole morning in this way. Then she produced her sketch-book, and I brought out mine, and we had a mutual interchange of prisoners. What cutting out of leaves and detaching of rice paper landscapes! Then she came out upon the Ian n to see my pony leap, and promised to ride him the following day. She patted the greyhounds, and said Gypsy, which was mine, was the prettiest. In a word, before night fell Clara had won my heart in its every fiber, and I went to my room the very happiest of mortals. I need not chronicle my next three days to me the most glorious " troia jours "of my life. Clara had evidently singled me out and preferred me to all the rest. It was beside me she rode and upon my arm she leaned in walking and, to comble me with delight unutter- able I overhead her say to ny uncle," Oh, I dote upon poor Harry! And it is so pleasant, for I'm sure Mortimer will be so jealous." " And who is Mortimer?" thought I; " he is a new character in )f> nififfl nf wlinrn WP liavp sp^n nnHiinrr " dinner, _, lashing-look- ing, soldier- like fellow, of about Ihirly-five.with a heavy mustache and a bronzed cheek rather grave in his manner, but still perfectly good- natured, and when he smiled showing a most handsome set of regular teeth. Clara seemed less pleased (I thought) at his coming than the HARKY LORREQUER. 249 others, and took pleasure in tormenting him by a thousand pettish and frivolous ways, which I was sorry for, as I thought he did not like it; and used to look half chidingly at her from tune to time, but without any effect, for she just went on as before, and generally ended by taking my arm and saying, " Come away, Harry; you al- ways are kind and never look sulky. I can agree with you." These were delightful words for me to listen to, but I could not hear them without feeling for him, who evidently was pained by Clara's avowed preference for me; and whose years for I thought thirty- five at that time a little verging upon the patriarchal entitled him to more respect. "Well," thought I, one evening, as this game had been carried rather further than usual, " I hope she is content now, for certainly Mortimer is jealous;" and the result proved it, for the whole of the following day he absented himself, and never came back till late in the evening. He had been, I found, from a chance observation I overheard, at the bishop's palace, and the bishop himself, I learned, was to breakfast with us in the morning. " Harry, I have a commission for you," said Clara. " You must get up very early to-morrow, and climb the Cader mountain, and bring me a grand bouquet of the blue and purple heath that I liked so much the last time I was there. Mind, very early, for I intend to surprise the bishop to-morrow with my taste in a nosegay." The sun had scarcely risen as I sprang from my bed, and started upon my errand. Oh! the glorious beauty of that morning's walk. As I climbed the mountain, the deep mists lay upon all around, and except the path I was treading, noihing was visible; but before I reached the top, the heavy masses of vapor were yielding to the influ- ence of the sun ; and as they rolled from the valleys up the mount- ain-sides, were every instant opening new glens and ravines beneath me bright in all their verdure, and speckled with sheep, whose tinkling bells reached me even where I stood. / I counted about twenty lakes at different levels, below me; some brilliant, and shining like polished mirrors ; others not less beautiful, dark and solemn with some mighty mountain shadow. As I looked landward, the mountains reared their huge crests, one above the other, to the furthest any eye could reach. Toward the opposite side, the calm and tranquil sea lay beneath me, bathed in the yellow gold of a rising sun; a few ships were peacefully lying at anchor in the bay; and the only thing in motion was a row-boat, the heavy monotonous stroke of whose oars rose in the stillness of the morning air. Not a single habitation of man could I desciy, nor any vestige of a human being, except that mass of something upon the rock far down beneath be one, and I think it is, for I see the sheep-dog ever returning again and again to the same spot. My bouquet was gathered ; the gentian of the Alps, which is found here, also contributing its evidence to show where I had been to seek it, and I turned home. The family were at breakfast as I entered ; at least so the servants said, for 1 only remembered then that the bishop was our guest, and that I could not present myself without some slight attention to my dress, J hastened to my room, and scarcely had I finished, when. 250 HARRY LORREQTJER. one of my cousins, a little girl of eight years, came to my door and said: " Harry, come down; Clara wants you." I rushed down stairs, and as I entered the breakfast-parlor, stood still with surprise. The ladies were all dressed in white, and even my little cousin wore a gala costume that amazed me. "My bouquet, Harry; I hope you have not forgotten it," said Clara, as I approached. I presented it at once, when she gayly and coquettishly held out her hand for me to kiss. This I did, my blood rushing to my face and temples the while, and almost depriving me of consciousness. ""Well, Clara, I am surprised at you," said Mortimer. "How can you treat the poor boy so?" I grew deadly pale at these words, and, turning round, looked at the speaker full in the face. Poor fellow, thought I, he is jealous, and I am really grieved for him; and turned again to Clara. " Here it is Oh! how handsome, papa," said one of the younger children, running eagerly to the window, as a very pretty open car- riage with four horses drew up before the house. The bishop has taste," I murmured to myself, scarcely deigning to give a second look at the equipage. Clara now left the room, but speedily returned her dress changed, and shawled as if for a walk. What could all this mean? and the whispering, too, what is all that? and why are they all so sad? Clara has been weeping. " God bless you, my child good-by, " said my aunt, as she folded her in her arms for the third time. " Good-by, good-by," I heard on everyside. At length, approach- ing me, Clara took my hand and said : " My poor Harry, so we are going to part. I am going to Italy. " " To Italy, Clara? Oh! no say no. Italy! I shall never see you again." " Won't you wear this ring for me, Harry? It is an old favorite of yours and when we meet again ' ' " Oh! dearest Clara," I said, " do not speak thus." "Good-by, my poor boy, good-by," said Clara, hurriedly; and, rushing out of the room, she was lifted by Mortimer into the car- riage, who immediately jumping in after her, the whip cracked, the horses clattered, and all was out of sight in a second. " Why is she gone with him?" said I, reproachfully, turning to- ward my aunt. " Why, my dear, a very sufficient reason. She was married this morning." This was my first love. CHAPTER XXXVII. WISE RESOLVES. MUSING over this boyish adventure, I fell into a deep slumber, and on awakening it took me some minutes before 1 could recall my senses sufficiently to know where 1 was. The whole face of things in my room was completely changed. Flowers had been put in the china vases upon the tables two handsome lamps, shaded with HARRY LORREQUER. 251 gauzes, stood upou the consoles illustrated books, prints, and cari- catures, were scattered about. A piano forte had also, by some witchcraft, insinuated itself into a recess near the sofa a handsome little tea-service, of old Dresden china, graced a small marquetry table and a little picquet table stood most invitingly beside the lire. I had scarcely time to turn my eyes from one to the other of these new occupants, when I heard the handle of my door gently turn, as if by some cautious hand, and immediately closed my eyes and feigned sleep. Through my half-shut lids I perceived the door opened. After a pause of about a second the skirt of a white mus- lin dress appeared then a pretty foot stole a little further and at last the slight and graceful figure of Emily Bingham advanced noiselessly into the room. Fear had rendered her deadly pale, but the effect of her rich brown hair, braided plainly on either side of her cheek, suited so well the character of her features, I thought her far handsomer than ever. She came forward toward the table, and I now could perceive that she had something in her hand resembling a letter. This she placed near my hand so near as almost to touch it. She leaned over me I felt her breath upon my brow, but never moved. At this instant a tress of her hair, becoming unfastened, fell over upon my face. She started the motion threw me off my guard, and I looked up. She gave a faint, scarce audible shriek, and sank into the chair beside me. Recovering, however, upon the instant, she grasped the letter she had just laid down, and having crushed it between her fingers, threw it into the fire. This done as if the effort had been too much for her strength she again fell back upon her seat, and looked so pale I almost thought she had fainted. " Before I had time to speak she rose once more; and now her face was bathed in blushes, her eyes swam with rising tears, and her lips trembled with emotion as she spoke: " Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, what will you what can you think of this 9 If you but knew "; and here she faltered and again grew pale, while I, with difficulty rising from the sofa, took her hand, and led her to the chair beside it. " And may I not know?" said I; " may I not know, my dear " I am not sure I did not say dearest " Miss Bingham, when, perhaps the knowledge might maKe me the happiest of mortals." This was a pretty plunge as a sequel to my late resolutions. She hid her face between her hands, and sobbed for some seconds. " At least," said I, "as that letter was destined for me but a few moments since, I trust that you will let me hear its contents." " Oh no not now not now," said she, entreatingly, and, rising at the same time, she turned to leave the room. I still held her hand, and pressed it within mine. I thought she returned the pressure. I leaned forward to catch her eye, when the door was opened hastily, and a most extraordinary figure presented itself. It was a short, fat man, with a pair of enormous mustaches, of a fiery red; huge bushy whiskers of the same color; a blue frock cov- erea with braiding, and decorated with several crosses and ribbons; tight pantaloons and Hessian boots, with long brass spurs. He held a large gold-headed cane in his hand, and looked about with aij expression of very equivocal drollery mingled with fear. 252 HARRY LORItEQTJER. " May I ask sir," said I, as this individual closed the door behind him, " may I ask the reason for this intrusion?" " Oh, upon my conscience, I'll do I'm sure to pass muster now," said the well-known voice of Mr. O'Leary, whose pleasant features began to dilate amidst the forest of red hair he was disguised in. " But I see you are engaged," said he, with a sly look at Miss Bing- harn, whom he had not yet recognized. " So I must contrive to hide myself elsewhere, I suppose." "It is Miss Bingham," said I, "who has been kind enough to come here with her maid, to bring me some flowers. Pray present my respectful compliments to Mrs. Bingham, and say how deeply I feel her most kind attention." Emily rose at the instant, and recovering her self-possession at once, said: " You forget, Mr. Lorrequer, it is a secret from whom the flowers came ; at least mamma hoped to place them in your vases without your knowledge. So pray don't speak of it and I'm sure Mr. O'Leary will not tell." If Mr. O'Leary heard one word of this artful speech, I know not, but he certainly paid no attention to it, nor the speaker, who left the room without his appearing aware of it. " Now that she is gone for which heaven be praised," said I to myself; " let me see what this fellow can mean." As I turned from the door, I could scarcely avoid laughing aloud at the figure before me. He stood opposite a large mirror, his hat on one side of his head, one arm in his breast, and the other extend- ed, leaning upon his stick ; a look of as much ferocity as such feat- ures could accomplish, had been assumed, and his whole attitude was a kind of caricature of a melodramatic hero in a German drama. " Why, O'Leary, what is all this?" "Hush, hush!" said he, hi a terrified whisper "never mention that name again till we are over the frontier." " But, man, explain what do you mean?" " Can't you guess?" said he, dryly. " Impossible, unless the affair at the saloon has induced you to take this disguise, I cannot conceive the reason." " Nothing further from it, my dear friend; much worse than that " " Out with it, then, at once." " She's come she's here in this very house No. 29, above the entre sol." " Who is here, in No. 29, above the entre sol?" " Who, but Mrs. O'Leary herself! I was near saying bad luck to her." " And does she know you are here?" " That if what I can't exactly say," said he, " but she has had the Livre des Voyageurs brought up to her room, and has been making rather unpleasant inquiries for the proprietor of certain hieroglyph- ics beginning with O, which have given me great alarm ; the more, as all the waiters have been sent for in turn, and subjected to long examination, by her. So I have lost no time, but, under the au- spices of your friend Trevanion, have become the fascinating figure you find me, and am now Comte O'Lieuki, a Pole of noble family, HARRY LORREQUER. 253 banished by the Russian government, with a father in Siberia, and all that; and! hope, by the end of the week, to be able to cheat at ecarte, and deceive the very police itself." The idea of O'Leary 's assuming such a metamorphosis was too absurd not to throw me into a hearty fit of laughing, in which the worthy emigre indulged also. " But why not leave this at once," said I, " if you are so much in dread of a recognition?" " You forget the trial," added O'Leary. " I must be here on the 18th, or all my bail is forfeited." " True I had forgotten that. Well, now," your plans " Simply to keep very quiet here, till the affair of the tribunal is over, and then quit France at once. Meanwhile, Trevanion thinks that we may, by a bold stratagem, send Mrs. O'Leary off on- a wrong scent, and he has requested Mrs. Bingham to contrive to make her acquaintance, and ask her to tea in her room, Avhen she will see me, en Polonais, at a distance, you know hear something of my melancholy destiny from Trevanion and leave the hotel quite sure she has no claim on me. Meanwhile, some others of the party are to mention incidentally having met Mr. O'Leary somewhere, or heard of his decease, or aay pleasant little incident that may occur to them." " The plan is excellent," said 1, " for in all probability she may never come in your way again, if sent off on a good errand this tune." "That's what I'm thinking," said O'Leary; " and I am greatly disposed to let her hear that I'm with Belzoni in Egypt, with an en- gagement to spend the Christmas with the Dey of Algiers. That would give her a pretty tour for the remainder of the year, and show her the pyramids. But, tell me fairly, am I a good Pole?" " Rather short," said I, " and a little too fat, perhaps." ' ' That comes from the dash of the Tartar blood, nothing mpre, and my mother was a Fin," said he: " she'll never ask whether Irom Carlow or the Caucasus. How I revel in the thought, that I may amoke in company without a breach of the unities. But I must go; there is a gentleman with a quinsy in No. 8, that gives me a lesson in Polish this morning. So good-by, and don't forget to be well enough to-night, for you must be present at my debut." O'Leary had scarcely gone when my thoughts reverted to Emily Bingham. I was not such a coxcomb as to fancy her in love with me; yet certainly there was something in the affair which looked not unlike it; and though, by such a circumstance, every embarrassment which pressed upon me had become infinitely greater, I could not dissemble from myself a sense of pleasure at the thought. She was really a very pretty girl, and improved vastly upon acquaintance. " Les absens out toujours tort ' ' is the truest proverb in any language, and 1 felt it in its fullest force when Trevaniou entered my room. " Well, Lorrequer," said he, " your time is certainly not likely to hang heavily on your hands in Paris, if occupation will prevent it, for I find you are just now booked for a new scrape." " What can you mean?" said I, starting up." " Why, O'Leary, who has been, since your illness, the constant visitor at the Binghams dining there every day, and spending nig 254 HARRY LORREQUER. evenings has just, told me that the mamma is only waiting for the arrival of Sir Guy Lorrequer in Paris, to open the trenches in all form; and from what she has heard of Sir Guy, she deems it most likely he will give her every aid and support to making you the husband of the fair Emily." " And with good reason, too," said I; " for if my uncle were only given to understand that I had once gone far in my attentions, noth- ing would induce him to break off the match. He was crossed in love himself, when young, and has made a score of people miserable since, hi the benevolent idea of marrying them against every obstacle." " How very smart you have become," said Trevanion, taking a look round my room, and surveying in turn each of the new occu- pants. " You must certainly reckon upon seeing your fair friend here, or all this propriete is sadly wasted." This was the time to explain all about Miss Bingham's visit, and I did so, of course omitting any details which might seem to me needless, or involving myself in inconsistency. Trevanion listened patiently to the end was silent for some moments then added : " And you never saw the letter?" " Of course not. It was burned before my eyes. " " I think the affair looks very serious, Lorrequer. You may have won this girl's affections. It matters little whether the mamma be a hackneyed match-maker, or the cousin a bullying duellist. If the girl have a heart, and that you have gained it " " Then I must marry, you would say." " Exactly so without the prompting of your worthy uncle, I see no other course open to you without dishonor. My advice, there- fore, is, ascertain and that speedily how far your attentions have been attended with the success you dread and then decide at once. Are you able to get as far as Mr. Bingham's room this morning? If so, come along. I shall take all the /raw of la ch ere mamma off your hands, while you talk to the daughter, and half-an-hour's courage and resolution will do it all." Having made the most effective toilet my means would permit, my right arm in a sling, and my step trembling from weaknos, 1 sallied forth with Trevanion to make love with as many fears for the result as the most bashful admirer ever experienced, when pressing his suit upon some haughty belle but for a far different reason. CHAPTER XXXVIII. THE PROPOSAL. ON reaching Mrs. Bingham's apartments, we found that she had just left home to wait upon Mrs. O'Leary, and, consequently, that Miss Bingham was alone. Trevanion, therefore, having wished me a safe deliverance through my trying mission, shook my hand warmly, and departed. I stood for some minutes irresolutely, with my hand upon the lock of the door. To think that the next few moments may decide the fortune of one's after life, is a sufficiently anxious thought, but HARRY LORREQUER. 255 that your fate may be so'decided by compelling you to finish, in sor- row what you have begun in folly, is still more insupportable. Such, then, was my condition. I had resolved within myself, if the result of this meeting should prove that I had Avon Miss Bingham's affections, to propose for her at once in all form, and make her my wife. If, on the other hand, I only found that she too had amused herself with a little passing flirtation, why, then, I was a free man. once more: but, on catechizing myself a little closer, also, one some- what disposed to make love de novo. With the speed of lightning my mind ran over every passage of our acquaintance our first meeting our solitary walks our daily, hourly association our traveling intimacy the adventure at Chan- traine ; there was, it is true, nothing in all this which could estab- lish the fact of wooing, but everything which should convince an old offender like myself that the young lady was " en prise," and that I myself despite my really strong attacliment elsewhere was not en tirely scatheless. " Yes," said I, half aloud, as I once more reviewed the past, " it is but another chapter in my history, in keeping with all the rest one step has ever led me to a second, and so on to a third. What with other men have passed for mere trifles, have ever with me be- come serious difficulties, and the false enthusiasm with which I ever follow any object in life, blinds me for the time, and, mistaking zeal for inclination, I never feel how my heart is interested in success till the fever of pursuit is over." These were pleasant thoughts for one about to throw himself at a pretty girl's feet, and pour out "his soul of love before her;" but that, with me, was the lea*st part of it. Curran, they say, usually picked up his facts in a case from the opposite counsel's statements. I always relied for my conduct in carrying on anything, to the chance circumstances of the moment, and trusted to my animal spirits to give me an interest in whatever, for the time being, engaged me. I opened the door. Miss Bingham was sitting at a table, her head leaning upon her hands some open letters which lay before her, evi- dently so occupying her attention, that my approach was unheard. On my addressing her, she turned round suddenly, and became at first deep scarlet, then pale as death ; while, turning to the table, she hur- riedly threw her letters into a drawer, and motioned me to a place beside her. After the first brief and commonplace inquiry for my health, and hopes for my speedy recovery, she became silent; and I, too, primed with topics innumerable to discuss knowing how short my time might prove before Mrs. Bingham's return could not say a word. "I hope, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "that you have in- curred no risk by leaving your room so early." " I have not," I replied, " but even were there a certainty of it, the anxiety I labored under to see and speuk with you alone would have overcome all fears on this account. Since this unfortunate busi- ness has confined me to my chamber, I have done nothing but think over circumstances which have at length so entirely taken pos- session of me, that I must, at any sacrifice, have sought an oppor- tunity to explain to you "here Emily looked down, aaa I continued. 256 HARRY LORREQUER. " I need scarcely say, what my feelings must long since have be- trayed, that to have enjoyed the daily happiness of living in your society, of estimating your worth, of feeling your fascinations, were not the means most in request for him, who knew too well how little he deserved either by fortune or desert to hope to make you his, and yet how little has prudence or caution to do with situations like this " She did not guess the animus of this speech. " I felt all 1 havo described; and yet, and yet, I lingered on, prizing too dearly the hap- piness of the present hour, to risk it by any avowal of sentiments which might have banished me from your presence forever. If the alternation of these hopes and fears have proved too strong for my reason at last, I cannot help it; and this it is which now leads me to make this avowal to you. " Emily turned her head away from me- but her agitated manner showed how deeply my words had affected her; and I, too, now that I had finished, felt that I had been " com- ing it rather strong." "I hoped, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, " I hoped, I con- less, to have had an opportunity of speaking with you." Then thought I, the game is over, and Bishop Luscombe is .richer by five pounds than I wish him. " Something, I know not what in r manner, led me to suspect that your affections might lean toward me: hints you have dropped, and, now and then, your chance allusions strengthened the belief, and I determined, at length that no feeling of maidenly shame on my part should endanger the hap- piness of either of us, and I determined to see you; this was so diffi- cult, that I wrote a letter, and that letter, which might have saved me ( all distressing explanation, I burned before you this momin-." But why, dearest girl "here was a plug" why, if the letter could remove any misconstruction, or could be the means of dispel- ling any doubt why not let me see it?" " Hear me out," cried she, eagerly, and evidently not heeding my mterruption, " I determined, if your affections were, indeed^" a flood of tears here broke forth, and drowned her words- her head sank between her hands, and she sobbed bitterly. " Corpo di Baccho!" said I, to myself, " it's all over with me; the poor girl is evidently jealous, and her heart will break." ' Dearest, dearest Emily," said I, passing my arm round her and approaching my head close to hers, " if you think that any other love than yours could ever beat within this heart that I could see vou hourly before me live beneath your smile, and gaze upon your beauty and, still more than all pardon the boldness of the thought feel that I was not indifferent to you." "Oh! spare me this, at least," said she, turning round her tearful eyes upon me, and looking most bewitchingly beautiful " Have I then showed you this plainly?" "Yes, dearest girl? That instinct which tells us we are loved has spoken within me. And here, in this beating heart " "Oh! say no more," said she, "if I have, indeed, gained vour affections " " Jf tf YOU. have," said I, clasping her to my heart, while she continued to sob still violently, and I felt half disposed to blow my brains out for my success. However, there is something in love- making as in fox-hunting, which carries you along in spite of your HARRY LORREQCTER. self, and I continued to pour forth whole rhapsodies of love that the Pastor Fido could not equal. " Enough," said she, " it is enough that you love me, and that I have encouraged your so doing. But, oh ! tell me once more, and think how much of future happiness may rest upon your answer- tell me, may not this be some passing attachment, which circum- stances have created, and others may dispel? Say, might not ab- sence, time, or another more worthy " This was certainly a very rigid cross-examination when I thought the trial was over; and not being exactly prepared for it, 1 felt no other mode of reply than pressing her taper fingers alternately to my lips, and muttering something that might pass for a declaration of love unalterable, but, to my own ears, resembled a lament on my folly. " She is mine, now," thought I, "so we must e'en make the best of it; and truly she is a very handsome girl, though not a Lady Jane Callonby. The next step is the mamma; but I do not antici- pate much difficulty in that quarter." "Leave me now," said she, in a low and broken voice; "but promise not to speak of this meeting to any one before we meet again. I have my reasons; believe me they are sufficient ones, so promise me this before we part." Having readily given the pledge required, I again kissed her hand and bade farewell, not a little puzzled the whole time at perceiving that, ever since my declaration and acceptance, Emily seemed any- thing but happy, and evidently struggling against some secret feeling of which I knew nothing. "Yes," thought I, as I wended my way along the corridor, " the poor little girl is tremendously jealous, and I must have said many a thing during our intimacy to hurt her. However, that is all past and gone; and now comes a new character for me; my next appearance will be ' en bon man.' ' CHAPTER XXXIX. / THOUGHTS UPON MATRIMONY IN GENERAL, AND THE ARMY IN PARTICULAR. THE KNIGHT OF KERRY AND BILLY M'CABE. " So," thought I, as I closed the door of my room behind me, " I am accepted the die is cast which makes me a Benedict : yet Heaven knows that never was a man less disposed to be over- joyous at his good fortune!" "What a happy invention it were, if, when adopting any road in life, we could only manage to forget that we had ever contemplated any other! It is the eternal looking back in this world that fonns the staple of all our miseiy ; and we are but ill-requited for such unhappiness by the brightest anticipations we can conjure up for the future. How much of all that " past " was now to become a source of painful recollection, and to how little of the future could I look forward with even hope ! Our weaknesses are much more constantly the spring of all our annoyances and troubles than even our vices. The one we have in some sort of subjection: we are perfect ly slaves to the others. This thought came home most forcibly to my bosom, as I reflected upon the step which led me on imperceptibly to my present embarrass- ment. " Well, c'est fini," now, said I, drawing upon that bountiful 258 HARRY LORREQtTER. source of consolation ever open to the man who mars his fortune-* that " what is past can't be amended;" which piece of philosophy, as well as its twin brother, that " all will be the eame a hundred years hence," have been golden rules to me from my childhood. The transition from one mode of life to another perfectly different, has ever seemed to me a great trial of man's moral courage; besides that the fact of quitting forever anything, no matter how insignifi- cant or valueless, is always attended with painful misgivings. My bachelor life had its share of annoyances and disappointments, it is true; but, upon the whole, it was a most happy one and now I was about to surrender it forever, not yielding to the impulse of affec- tion and love for one without whom life were valueless to me, but merely a recompense for the indulgence of that fatal habit I had contracted of pursuing with eagerness every shadow that crossed my path. All my early friends all my vagrant fancies all my day- dreams of the future I was now to surrender for, what becomes of any man's bachelor friends when he is once married? Where are his rambles in high and by- ways when he has a wife and what is left for anticipation after his wedding, except, perhaps, to speculate upon the arrangement of his funeral? To a military man, more than to any olher, these are serious thoughts. All the fascinations of an army life, in war or peace, lie in the daity, hourly associations with your brother officers the morning cigar, the barrack-square lounge the afternoon ride the game of billiards before dinner the mess (that perfection of dinner society) the plans for the evening the deviled kidney at twelve forming so many points of departure whence you sail out upon your daily voyage through life. Versus these you have that awful perversion of all that is natural an officer's wife. She has been a beauty when young, had black eyes and high complexion, a good figure, rather inclined to embonpoint, and a certain springiness in her walk, and a jauntiness in her air, that are ever sure attractions to a sub in a marching regiment. She can play backgammon, and sing " di tanti palpitil," and, if an Irish woman, is certain to be able to ride a steeple-chase, and has an uncle a lord, who (en parentliese) always turns out to be a creation made by King James, after his abdication. In conclusion, she breakfasts en papillate wears her shoes down at heel calls every officer of the regiment by his name has a great taste for increasing his majesty's lieges, and delights in London porter. To this genius of frow 1 have never ceased to entertain the most thrilling abhorrence ; and yet, how often have I seen what appeared to be pretty and interesting girls, fall into something of this sort 1 and how often have I vowed any fate to myself rather than become the husband of a baggage-wagon wife. Had all my most sanguine hopes promised realizing had my suit with Lady Jane been favorable, I could scarcely have bid adieu to my bachelor life without a sigh. No prospect of future happi- ness can ever perfectly exclude all regret at quitting our present state forever. I am sure, if I had been a caterpillar, it would have been with a heavy heart that I would have donned my wings as a butter- fly. Now the metamorphosis was reversed : need it be wondered if I were sad? So completely was I absorbed in my thoughts upon this matter HARRY LORREQUER. 259 that I had not perceived the entrance of O'Leary and Trevanion, who, unaware of my being in the apartment, as I was stretched upon a sofa in a dark corner, drew their chairs toward the fire and began chatting. " Do you know, Mr. Trevanion," said O'Leary, " I am half afraid of this disguise of mine. I sometimes think i am not like a Pole: and if she should discover me " " No fear of that in the world; your costume is perfect, your beard unexceptionable. I could, perhaps, have desired a little less paunch; but then " " That comes of fretting, as Falstaff says; and you must not for- get that I am banished from my country." " Now, as to your conversation, I should advise your saying very little not one word of English. You may, if you like, call in the assistance of Irish when hard pressed." "I have my fears on that score. There is no knowing where that might lead to discovery. You know the story of the Knight of Kerry and Billy M'Cabe?" " I fear I must confess my ignorance I have never heard of it." " Then may be you never knew Giles Daxon?" " I have not that pleasure either." " Lord bless me, how strange that is! I thought he was better known than the Duke of Wellington, or the traveling piper. Well. I must tell you the story, for it has a moral, too indeed, several morals; but you will find that out for yourself. Well, it seems that one day the Knight of Kerry was walking along the Strand in Lon- don, killing an hour's time, till the House was done prayers, and Hume tired of hearing himself speaking; his eye was caught by an enormous picture displayed upon the wall of a house, representing a human figure covered with long, dark hair, with huge nails upon his hands, and a most fearful expression of face. At first the Knight thought it was Dr. Bo wring; but on coming nearer he heard a maji with a scarlet livery and a cocked hat call out, ' Walk in, ladies and gentlemen the most wonderful curiosity ever exhibited only one shilling the wild man from Chippoowango, in Africa eats raw wittals without being cooked, and many other surprising and pleas- ing performances. ' " The Knight paid his money, and was admitted. At first the crowd prevented his seeing anything for the place was full to suffo- cation and the noise awful for, besides the exclamations and ap- plause of the audience, there were three barrel-organs, playing ' Home, Sweet Home ' and ' Cherry Ripe,' and the wild man himself contrib- uted his share to the uproar. At last, the Knight obtained, by dint of squeezing, and some pushing, a place in the front, when, to his very great horror, he beheld a figure that far eclipsed the portrait without doors. " It was a man nearly naked, covered with long, shaggy hair, that grew even over his nose and cheek-bones. He sprang about sometimes on his feet, sometimes on all fours, but always uttering the most fearful yells, and glaring upon the crowd in a manner that was really dangerous. The Knight did not feel exactly happy at the whole proceeding, and began heartily to wish himself back in the ' House,' even upon a committee of privileges, when, suddenly, the 2GO HARRY LORREQTIEE. " savage gave a more frantic scream than before, and seized upon a morsel of raw beef, which a keeper extended to him upon a long fork, like a tandem whip he was not safe, it appears, at close quar- tersthis he tore to pieces eagerly, and devoured in the most vora- cious manner, amid great clapping of hands, and other evidences of satisfaction from the audience. I'll go now, thought the Knight; for God knows whether, in his hungry moods, he might not fancy to conclude his dinner by a member of Parliament. Just at this instant, some sounds struck upon his ear that surprised him not a little. He listened more attentively; and, conceive, if you can, his amazement, to find that, amid his most fearful cries, and wild yells, the savage was talking Irish. Laugh, if you like; but it's truth I am telling you; nothing less than Irish. There he was jumping four feet high in the air, eating his raw meat; pulling out his hair by handfuls; and, amid all this, cursing the whole company to his heart's content, in as good Irish as was ever heard in Tralee. ]N'ow though the Knight had heard of red Jews and white negroes he had never happened to read any account of an African Irishman; so, he listened very closely, and by degrees, not only words were known to nun, but the very voice was familiar. At length, something he heard, left" no further doubt upon his mind, and, turning to the sav- age he addressed him in Irish, at the same time fixing a look of most scrutinizing import upon him. ' Who are you, you scoundrel?' said the Knight 'Billy M'Cabe, your honor.' : ' 'And what do you men, by playing off these tricks here, instead of earning your bread like an honest man?' ' Whist,' said Billy, ' and keep the secret. I'm earning the rent for your honor. One must do many a queer thing that pays two pound ten an acre for bad land.' " _This was enough: the Knight wished Billy every success, and left him amid the vociferous applause of a well-satisfied audience. This adventure, it seems, has made the worthy Knisrht a great friend to the introduction of poor laws; for, he remarks very truly, " more of Billy's countrymen might take a fancy to a savage life, if the secret was found out." It was impossible for me to preserve my incognito, as Mr. O'Leary concluded his story, and I was obliged to join in the mirth of Tre- vamon, who laughed loud and long as he finished it. CHAPTER XL. A B EMINISC ENCE . O'LEARY and Trevanion had scarcely left the room when the waiter entered with two letters-the one bore a German postmark and was in the well -known hand of Lady Callonby the other in a writing with which I was no less familiar that of Emily Binitfiam. Let any one who has been patient enough to follow me through these " Confessions," conceive my agitation at this moment. There lay my fate before me, coupled, In "all likelihood, with a view of what it might have been under happier auspices at least so in antici- pation did I read the two unopened epistles. My late interview with BARRY LORREQUER. 261 Miss Bingham left no doubt upon my mind that I had secured her affections; and acting in accordance with the counsel of Trevauion, no less than of my own sense of right, I resolved upon marrying her, with what prospect of happiness 1 dared not to think of! Alas! and alas! there is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation mere empty, valueless, heartless flirtation. You hide the dice-box and the billiard cue, lest your son become a gambler you put aside the racing calender, lest he imbibe a jockey predilection but you never tremble at his fondness for white muslin and a satin slip- per, far more dangerous tastes though they be, and infinitely more, perilous to a man's peace and prosperity than all the " queens of trumps " that ever figured, whether on pasteboard or the Doncaster. " Woman's my wakeness, yer honor," said an honest Patlauder, on being charged before the lord mayor with having four wives living; and without having any such " Algerine act " upon my conscience, I must, I fear, enter a somewhat similar plea for my downf allings, and avow, in humble gratitude, that I have scarcely had a misfortune through life unattributable to them in one way or another. And this I say without any reference to country, class, or complexion, " black, brown, or fair," from my first step forth into life, a raw sub, in the gallant 4-th, to this same hour, I have no other avowal, no other confession to make. " Be always ready with the pistol," was the dying advice of an Irish statesman to his sons: mine, in a similar circumstance, would rather be " Gardez wus des femmes," and more especially if they be Irish. There is something almost treacherous in the facility with which an Irish girl receives your early attentions, and appears to like them, that invariably turns a young fellow's head very long before he has any prospect of touching her heart. She thinks it so natural to be made love to, that there is neither any affected coyness nor any agi- tated surprise. She listens to your declaration of love as quietly as the chief justice would to one of law, and refers the decision to^a packed jury of her relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy. Love and fighting, too, are so intimately united in Ireland, that a courtship rarely progresses without at least one exchange of shots be- tween some of the parties concerned. My first twenty-four hours in Dublin is so pleasantly characteristic of this, that I may as well relate it here while the subject is before us; besides, as these " Con- fessions " are intended as warnings and guides to youth, I may con- vey a useful lesson, showing why a man should not " make love in the dark." It was upon a raw, cold, drizzling morning in February, 18 , that our regiment landed on the north wall from Liverpool, whence we had beon hurriedly ordered to repress some riots and disturbances then agitating Dublin. We marched to the Royal Barracks, our band playing Patrick's Day, to the very considerable admiration of as naked a population as ever loved music. The th dragoons were at the same time quar- tered there right pleasant, jovial fellows, who soon gave us to un- derstand that the troubles were over before we arrived, and that the great city authorities were now returning thanks for their preserva- tion from fire and sword by a series of entertainments of the most costly, but somewhat incongruous kind the company being scarce 262 HARRY LORREQUER. less mSlee than the dishes. Peers and playactors, judges and jailer*, archbishops, tailors, attorneys, ropemakers and apothecaries, all unit- ing in the festive delight of good feeding and drinking the " glorious memory " but of whom half the company knew not, only surmis- ing " it was something agin the papists." You may smile, but these were pleasant times, and I scarcely care to go back there since they were changed. But to return. The th had just received an invita- tion to a ball to be given by the high sheriff, and to which they most considerately said we should also be invited. This negotiation was so well managed that before noon we all received our cards from a green-liveried youth mounted upon a very emaciated pony the whole turn-out not auguring flatteringly of the high-sheriff 's taste in equipage. We dined with the th, and, as customary before going to an evening, party, took the " other bottle " of claret that lies beyond the frontier of prudence. In fact, from the lieutenant-colonel down to the newly- joined ensign, there was not a face in the party that did not betray " signs of the times," that boded most favorably for the mirth of the sheriff's ball. We were so perfectly up to the mark that our major, a Connemara man, said, as we left the mess-room, " a liqueur glass would spoil us." ^ In this acme of our intellectual wealth, we started about eleven o'clock upon every species of conveyance that chance could press into the service. Of hackney-coaches there were few but in jingles, noddies, and jaunting-cars, with three on a side and " one in the well," we mustered strong down Barrack-street we galloped, the mob cheering us, we laughing, and, I'm afraid, shouting a little too the watchmen springing their rattles, as if instinctively, at noise, and the whole population up and awake, evidently entertaining a high opinion of our convivial qualities. Our voices became gradu- ally more decorous, however, as we approached the more civilized quarter of the town; and, with only the slight stoppage of the pro- cession to pick up an occasional dropper-off, as he lapsed from the seat of a jaunting-car, we arrived at length at our host's residence somewhere in Sackville-street. Had our advent conferred the order of knighthood upon the host he could not have received us with more " empressement." He shook us all in turn by the hand, to the number of eight-and-thirty, and then presented us seriatim to his spouse, a very bejeweled lady of some forty years who, what between bugles, feathers, and her tur- ban, looked excessively like a Chinese pagoda upon a saucer. The rooms were crowded to suffocation the noise awful and the com- pany crushing and elbowing rather a little more than you expect where the moiety are of the softer sex. However, " on s' habitue d toute, sayeth the proverb, and with truth, for we all so perfectly fell in with the habits of the place, that, ere half an hour, we squeezed, ogleo\ leered, and drank champagne like the rest of the corporation Devilish hot work this," said the colonel, as he passed me with two rosy-cheeked, smiling ladies on either arm; "the mayor that ittle fellow in the punch-colored shorts has very nearly put me hors du combat with champagne; take care of him, I advise you " Tipsy as I felt myself, I was yet sufficiently clear to be fully alive ,.0 the drollery of the scene before me. Flirtations that, under other HARRY LORREQUER. 263 circumstances, would demand the secrecy and solitude of a country green lane, or some garden bower, were here conducted in all the open effrontery of wax lights and lusters; looks were interchanged, hands were squeezed, and soft things whispered, and smiles re- turned; till the intoxication of " punch negus " and spiced port, gave way to the far greater one of bright looks and tender glances. Qua- drilles and country dances waltzing there was none (perhaps all for the best) whist, backgammon, loo unlimited for uproar sand- wiches, and warm liquors, employed us pretty briskly till supper was announced, when a grand squeeze took place on the stairs the popu- lation tending thitherward with an eagerness that a previous starva- tion of twenty- four hours could alone justify. Among this dense mass of moving muslin, velvet and broadcloth, I found myself chaperoning an extremely tempting little damsel, with a pair of laughing blue eyes, and dark eyelashes, who had been committed to my care and guidance for the passage. "Miss Moriarty, Mr. Lorrequer," said an old lady in green and spangles, who I afterward found was the lady mayoress. " The nicest girl in the room," said a gentleman with a Tipperary accent, " and has a mighty nice place near Athlone." The hint was not lost upon me, and I speedily began to faire Vaimable to my charge; and before we reached the supper-room, learned certain particulars of her history, which I have not yet for- got. She was, it seems, sister to a lady then in the room, the wife of an attorney, who rejoiced in the pleasing and classical appellation of Mr. Mark Anthony Fitzpatrick; the aforesaid Mark Anthony being a tall, raw-boned, black-whiskered, ill-looking dog, that from time to time contrived to throw very uncomfortable looking glances at me and Mary Anne, for she was so named, the whole time of supper. After a few minutes, however, I totally forgot him, and, indeed, everything else in the fascination of my fair companion. She shared her chair with me, upon which I supported her by my arm passed round the back. We ate our pickled salmon, jelly, blanc mange, cold chicken, ham, and custard, off the same plate, with an occa- sional squeeze of the finger, as our hands met her eyes making sad havoc with me all the while, as I poured my tale of love love, last- ing, burning, all-consuming into her not unwilling ear. " Ah! now, ye're not in earnest?" " Yes! Mary Anne, by all that's " " Well, there now, don't swear, and take care sure Mark An- thony is looking." " Mark Anthony be " "Oh! how passionate you are: I'm sure I never could live easy with you. There, now, give me some sponge-cake, and don't be squeezing me or they'll see you." " Yes, to my heart, dearest girl." " Och, it's cheese you're giving me," said she, with a grimace that nearly cured my passion. " A cottage, a hut, with you with you," said I, in a cadence that I defy Macready to rival " what is worldly splendor, or the empty glitter of rank " I here glanced at my epaulets, on which I saw her eyes riveted. 264 HARRY LORREQUEE. " Isn't the ginger beer beautiful?" said she, emptying a glass of champagne. Still I was not to be roused from my trance, and continued my courtship as warmly as ever. "I suppose you'll come home now," said a gruff voice behind Mary Anne. I turned and perceived Mark Anthony, with a grim look of peculiar import. "Oh, Mark, dear, I'm engaged to dance another set with this gen- tleman." "Ye are, are ye?" replied Mark, eying me askance. " Troth and I think the gentleman would be better if he went off to his flea-ba himself." In my then mystified intellect this west country synonyme for a bed a little puzzled me. " Yes, sir, the lady is engaged to me, have you anything to say to til; 1 1 : " Nothing at present, at all," said Mark, almost timidly. " Oh, dear, oh, dear, "sobbed Mary Anne; " they'regoin"- to fl"-ht and he'll be killed I know he will." For which of us this fate was destined, I stopped not to consider, but taking the lady under my arm, elbowed my way to the drawino-I room, amid a very sufficient patting upon the back, and thumpin^ between the shoulders, bestowed by members of the company who approved of my proceedings. The three fiddles, the flute, and bas- soon, that formed our band, being by this time sufficiently drunk, played after a fashion of their own, which, by one of those strange sympathies of our nature, imparted its influence to our legs, and a country dance was performed in a style of free and easy gesticula- tion that defies description. At the end of eighteen couples, tired of my exertions and they were not slight I leaned my back against the wall of the room, which I now, for the first time, perceived was cov- ered with a very peculiar and novel species of hanging, no less than a kind of rough, green baize cloth, that moved and floated at every motion of the air. I paid little attention to this till, suddenly turn- ing my head, something gave way behind it. I felt myself struck upon the back of the neck, and fell forward into the room, covered by a perfect avalanche of fenders, fire-irons, frying-pans, and copper kettles, mingled with the lesser artillery of small nails, door keys, and hold-facts. There I lay, amid the most vociferous mirth I ever listened to, under the confounded torrent of ironmongery that half- stunned me. The laughter over, I was assisted to rise, and having drank about a pint of vinegar, and had my face and temples washed in strong whisky punch, the allocation of the fluids being mistaken, I learned, that our host, the high sheriff, was a celebrated tin and iron man, and that his salles Oe reception were no other than his magazine of metals, and that to conceal the well-filled shelves from the gaze of his aristocratic guests, they were clothed in the manner related ; which my unhappy head, by some misfortune, displaced, and thus brought on a calamity scarcely less afflicting to him than to myself. I should scarcely have stopped to mention this here, were it not that Mary Anne's gentle nursing of me in my misery went far to complete what her i'asciualion had begun; and although she HARRY LORREQUER. 205 could not help laughing at the occurrence, I forgave her readily for her kindness. " Remember," said I, trying to ogle through a black eye, painted by the angle of a register grate, " remember, Mary Anne, I aai to see you home. ' ' " Oh! dear, sir, sure I don't know how you can manage it " Here Mark Anthony's entrance cut short her speech, for he came to declare that some of the officers had taken his coach, and was, ay might lie supposed, in a towering passion. " If, sir," said I, with an air of the most balmy courtesy, " if I isn ' t jt stra nge that my French always shows me to English, and my English proves me Irish? It's lucky for me there s no going further, anyhow." Delighted to have thus fallen upon a " character, " as the Irish- lan evidently appeared, I moved my chair toward his; and findino- i.owfver, he was not half pleased at the manner in which mv ac- quamtance had been made with him, and knowing his country's susceptibility of being- taken by a story, I resolved to make my ad- vances by narrating a circumstance which had once befallen me in tny early life. Our countrymen, English and Irish, travel so muck nowadays .hat one ought never to feel surprised at finding them anywhere' Ihe instance I am about to relate will verify, to a certain extent the /,' y , owmg that no situation is too odd or too unlikely to be within the verge of calculation. When the 10th foot, to which I then belonged, were at Corfu, I HARRY LORREQUER. 281 obtained with three other officers, a short leave of absence, to make a hurried tour of the Morca, and take a passing glance at Constantino- ple in those days much less frequently visited by travelers than at present. After rambling pleasantly about for some weeks, we were about to return, when we determined that before sailing we should accept an invitation some officers of the " Dwarf " frigate, then stationed there, had given us, to pass a day at Pera, and picnic in the mount- ain. One fine, bright morning was therefore selected a most appetiz- ing little dinner being carefully packed up we set out, a party of fourteen, upon our excursion. The weather was glorious, and the scene far finer than any of us had anticipated the view from the mountain extending over the entire city, gorgeous in the rich coloring of its domes and minarets; while, at one side, the golden horn was visible, crowded with ships of every nation, and, at the other, a glimpse might be had of the sea of Marmora, blue and tranquil as it lay beneath. The broad bosom of the Bosphorus was sheeted out like a map before us peaceful, yet bustling with life and animation. Here lay the union-jack of old England, floating beside the lilies of France we speak of times when lilies were and barricades were not the tall and taper spars of a Yankee frigate towering above the low timbers and heavy hull of a Dutch schooner the gilded poop and curved galleries of a Turk- ish three-decker, anchored beside the raking mast and curved deck of a suspicious-looking craft, \vhose red-capped and dark-visaged crew needed not the naked creese at their sides to bespeak them Malays. The whole was redolent of life, and teeming with food for one's fancy to conjure from. While we were debating upon the choice of a spot for our lunch- eon, which should command the chief points of view within our reach, one of the party came to inform us that he had just discov- ered the very thing we were in search of. It was a small kiosk, built upon a projecting rock that looked down upon the Bosphorus and the city, and had evidently, from the extended views it presented, been selected as the spot to build upon. The building itself was a small octagon, open on every side, and presenting a series of pros- pects, land and seaward, of the most varied and magnificent kind. Seeing no one near, nor any trace of habitation, we resolved to avail ourselves of the good taste of the founder; and spreading out of the contents of our hampers, proceeded to discuss a most excellent cold dinner. When the good things had disappeared, and the wine began to circulate, one of the party observed that we should not think of enjoying ourselves before we had filled a bumper to the brim, to the health of our good king, whose birthday it chanced to be. Our homeward thoughts and loyalty uniting, we filled our glasses, and gave so hearty a " hip, hip, hurrah," to our toast, that I doubt if the echoes of those old rocks ever heard the equal of it. Scarcely was the last cheer dying away in the distance, when the door of the kiosk opened, and a negro, dressed in white muslin, ap- peared, his arms and ankles bearing those huge rings of massive gold which only persons of rank distinguish their servants by. After a most profound obeisance to the party he explained, in very 282 HARRY LOItREQUER. tolerable French, that his master, the Effendi, Ben Mustapha AI Ilalak, at whose charge (in house rent) we were then feasting, sent us greeting, and begged that, if not considered as contrary to our usages, tfcc. , we should permit him and his suite to approach the kiosk and observe us at our meal. Independent of his politeness in the mode of conveying the request, as he would prove fully as entertaining a sight to us as we could pos- sibly be to him, we immediately expressed our great willingness to receive his visit, coupled with a half hint that perhaps he might honor us by joining the party. After a half hour's delay, the door was once more thrown open, and a venerable old Turk entered ; he salamed three times most reverently, and motioned to us to be seated, declining at the same time, by a gentle gesture of his hand, our invitation. He was fol- lowed by a train of six persons, all splendidly attired, and attesting, by their costume and manner, the rank and importance of their chief. Conceiving that his visit had but one object to observe our convivial customs we immediately reseated ourselves, and filled our glasses. As one after another of the officers of the effendi's household passed round the apartments, we offered them a goblet of cham- pagne, which they severally declined, with a polite but solemn smile all except one, a large, savage-looking Turk, with a most ferocious scowl, and the largest black beard I ever beheld. He did not con- tent himself with a mute refusal of our offer, but stopping suddenly, he raised up his hands above his head, and muttered some words in Turkish, which one of the party informed us was a very satisfactory recommendation of the whole company to Satau for their heretic abomination. The procession moved slowly round the room, and when it reached the door again retired, each member of it salaming three times as they had done on entering. Scarcely had they gone, when we burst into a loud fit of laughter at the savage-looking fellow who thought proper to excommunicate us, and were about to discuss his more than common appearance of disgust at our proceedings, when again the door opened, and a turbaned head peeped in, but so altered were the features, that although seen but the moment before, we could hardly believe them the same. The dark complexion the long and bushy beard were there but instead of the sleepy and solemn character of the oriental, with heavy eye and closed lip, there was a droll, half devilry in the look, and partly opened mouth, that made a most laugh- able contrast with the head-dress. He looked stealthily around him for an instant, as if to see that all was right, and then, with an accent and expression I shall never forget, said, " Til taste your wine, gen- tlemen, avit be pleasing to ye." CHAPTER XLVL A DAT IN THE PHENIX. WHEN we were once more in the coupe of the diligence, I directed my entire attention toward my Irish acquaintance, as well because of his apparent singularity, as to avoid, the little German in the oppo- site cprner. HARRY LORREQUER. 283 " You have not been long in France, then, sir," said I, as we re- sumed our conversation. " Three weeks, and it seems like three years to me nothing; to eat nothing to drink and nobody to speak to. But I'll go back soou I only came abroad for a month." " You'll scarcely see much of the Continent in so short a time." " Devil a much that will grieve me I didn't come to see it." " Indeed!" " Nothing of the kind; I only came to be away from home." "Oh! I perceive." " You're quite out there," said my companion, misinterpreting my meaning. "It wasn't anything of that kind. 1 don't owe six- pence. I was laughed out of Ireland that's all, though that same is bad enough." " Laughed out of it!" " Just so and little do you know of Ireland if that surprises you." After acknowledging that such an event was perfectly possible, from what I myself had seen of that country, I obtained the follow- ing very brief account of my companion's reasons for foreign travel. " Well, sir," began he, " it is about four montlis since I brought up to Dublin from Galway a little chestnut mare, with cropped ears, and a short tail, square- jointed, and rather low just what you'd call a smart hack for going to cover with a lively thing on the road with a light weight. Nobody ever suspected that she was a clean bred thing own sister to Jenny, that won the Corin- thians, and ran second to Giles for the Riddlesworth but so she was, and a better bred mare never leaped the pound in Ballinasloe. Well, I brought her to Dublin, and used to ride her out two or three times a week, making little matches, sometimes to trot and for a thor- oughbred, she was a clipper at trotting to trot a mile or so on the grass another day to gallop the length of the nine acres opposite the lodge and then sometimes back her for a ten-pound note, to jump the biggest furze bush that could be found all of which she could do with ease, nobody thinking, all the while, that the cock- tailed pony was out of Scroggins, by a ' Lamplighter mare. ' As every fellow that was beat to-day was sure to come back to-morrow, with something better, either of his own or a friend's, I had matches booked for every day in the week for I always made my little boy that rode win by half a neck or a nostril, and so we kept on day after day pocketing from ten to thirty pounds, or thereabouts. " It was mighty pleasant while it lasted, for besides winning the money, I had my own fun laughing at the spoonies that never could book my bets fast enough. Young infantry officers and the junior bar they were for the most part mighty nice to look at, but very raw about racing. How long I might have gone on in this way I cannot say; but one morning I fell in with a fat elderly gentle- man, in shorts and gaiters, mounted on a dun cob pony, that was very fidgety and hot-tempered and appeared to give the rider a great deal of uneasiness. " ' He's a spicy hack you're on, sir,' said I, ' and has a go in him, I'll be bound.' " ' I rayther think he has,' said the old gentleman half testily. 284 HARRY LORREQUEH. " ' And can trot a bit, too?' " ' Twelve Irish miles in fifty minutes, with my weight.' Hera he look down at a paunch like a sugar hogshead. " ' Maybe he's not bad across a country,' said I, rather to humor the old fellow, who, I saw, was proud of his pony. ' ' I'd like to see his match, that's all.' Here he gave a rather contemptuous glance at my hack. " Well, one word led to another, and it ended at last in our book- ing a match, with which one party was no less pleased than the other. It was this: each was to ride his own horse, starting from the school in the Park round the Fifteen Acres, outside the Monu- ment, and back to the start just one heat, about a mile and a half the ground good, and only soft enough. In consideration, how- ever, of his greater weight, I was to give odds in the start ; and as we could not well agree on how much, it was at length decided that he was to get away first, and I to follow as fast as I could, after drinking a pewter quart full of Guinness's double stout droll odds, you'll say, but it was the old fellow's own thought, and as the match was a soft one, I let him have his way. " The next morning the Phenix was crowded as if for a review. There were all the Dublin notorieties swarming in barouches, and tilburies, and outside jaunting-cars smart clerks in the post-oflice, mounted upon kicking devils from Dycer's and Lalouette's stables attorneys' wives and daughters from York street, and a stray doc- tor or so on a hack that looked as if it had been lectured on for the six winter months at the College of Surgeons. My antagonist was half an hour late, which time I occupied in booking bets on eveiy side of me, offering odds of ten, fifteen, and at last, to tempt the peo- ple, twenty-five to one against the dun. At last, the fat gentleman came up on a jaunting-car, followed by a groom leading the cob. I wish you heard the cheer tha^ greeted him on his arrival, for it ap- peared he was a well-known character in town, and much in favor with the mob. When he got off the car, he bundled into a tent, followed by a few of his friends, where they remained for about five minutes, at the end of which he came out in full racing costume blue and yellow striped jacket, blue cap and leathers looking as funny a figure as ever you set eyes upon. I now thought it time to throw off my white surtout, and show out in pink and orange, the colors I had been winning in for two months past. While some of the party were sent on to station themselves at different places round the Fifteen Acres, to mark out the course, my fat friend was assisted into his saddle, and gave a short preliminary gallop of a huiidivil yards or so, that set us all a-laughing. The odds were now fifty to one in my favor, and I gave them wherever I could find takers. ' With you, sir, if you please, in pounds, and the gentleman in the red whiskers, too, if he likes; very well, in half sovereigns, if you prefer it.' So I went on, betting on every side, till the bell rung to mount. As I knew I had plenty of time to spare, I took little notice, and merely giving a look to my girths, I continued leisurely book- ing my bts. At last the time came, and at the word ' Away!' off went the fat gentleman ou the dun, at a spluttering gallop, that flung the mud on every side of us, and once more threw us all a-laughing. I waited patiently till he got near the upper end of the park taking HARRY LORREQUER. 285 bets every minute ; and now that he was away, every one offered to wager. At last, when I had let him get nearly half round, and found no more money could be had, I called out to his friends for the por- ter, and, throwing myself into the saddle, gathered up the reins in my hand. The crowd fell back on each side, while from the tent I have already mentioned out came a thin fellow with one eye, with a pewter quart in his hand; he lifted it up toward me, and I took it; but what was my fright to find that the porter was boiling, and the vessel so hot I could barely hold it. I endeavored to drink, how- ever. The first mouthful took all the skin off my lips and tongue the second half choked, and the third nearly threw me into an apoplectic fit the mob cheering all the time like devils. Meantime, the old fellow had reached the furze, and was going along like fun. Again I tried the porter, and a fit of coughing came on that lasted five minutes. The pewter was now so hot that the edge of the quart took away a piece of my mouth at every effort. I ventured once more, and with the desperation of a madman I threw down the hot liquid to its last drop. My head reeled my eyes glared and my brain was on fire. I thought I beheld fifty fat gentlemen galloping on every side of me, and all the sky raining jackets in blue and yel- low. Half mechanically I took the reins, and put spurs to my horse; but before I got well away, a loud cheer from the crowd assailed me. I turned, and saw the dun coming in at a floundering gallop, covered with foam, and so dead blown that neither himself nor the rider could have got twenty yards further. The race was, however won. My odds were lost to every man on the field and, worse than all, I was so laughed at, that I could not venture out in the streets, with- out hearing allusions to my misfortunes; for a certain friend of mine, one Tom O'Flaherty " " Tom of the llth light dragoons?" " The same you know Tom, then? Maybe you have heard him mention me Maurice Malone?" " Not Mr. Malone, of Fort Peak?" " Bad luck to him. I am as well known in connection with Fort Peak, as the Duke is with Waterloo. There is not a part of the globe where he has not told that confounded story." As my readers may not possibly be all numbered in Mr. O 'Flaherty's acquaintance, I shall venture to give the anecdote which Mr. Malone accounted to be so widely circulated. CHAPTER XLVH. AN ADVENTURE IN CANADA. TOWAKD the close of the last War with America, a small detach- ment of mil itary occupied the little block-house of Fort Peak, which, about el"-) it miles from the Falls of Niagara, formed the last outpost on the frontier. The Fort, in itself inconsiderable, was only of im- portance as commanding a part of the river where it was practicable to ford, and where the easy ascent of the bank offered a safe situation, for the enemy to cross over, whenever they felt disposed to carry the war into our territory. 286 HARRY LORREQCER. There having been, however, no threat of invasion in this quarter, and the natural strength of the position being considerable, a mere handful of men, with two subaltern officers, were allotted for this duty such being conceived ample to maintain it till the arrival of succor from headquarters, then at Little York, on the opposite side of the lake. The officers of this party were our old acquaintance, Tom O 'Flaherty, and our newly-made one, Maurice Malone. Whatever may be the merits of commanding officers, one virtue they certainly can lay small claim to viz., any insight into char- acter, or at least any regard for the knowledge. Seldom are two men sent off on detachment duty to some remote quarter, to associate daily and hourly for months together, that they are not, by some happy chance, the very people, who never, as the phrase is, " took to each other " in their lives. The gray -headed, weather-beaten, dis- appointed " Peninsular " is coupled with the essenced and dandified Adonis of the corps; the man of literary tastes and cultivated pur suits, with the empty-headed, ill-informed youth, fresh from Harrow or Westminster. This case offered no exception to the rule; for though there were few men possessed of more assimilating powers than O 'Flaherty, yet certainly his companion did put the faculty to the test, for anything more unlike him there never existed. Tom, all good humor and high spirits making the best of everything never nonplussed never taken aback; perfectly at home whether flirting with a Lady Charlotte in her dVawing-room, or crossing a grouse mountain in the highlands; sufficiently well read to talk on any ordinary topic and always ready-witted enough to seem more so. A thorough sportsman, whether showing forth in the " park " at Melton, whipping a trout-stream in Wales, or filling a country- house with black, cock and moor-fowl, an unexceptionable judge of all the good things in life, from a pretty ankle to a well-hung tilbury from the odds at hazard to the " Comet vintage." Such, in brief, was Tom. Now his confrere was none of these; he had been drafted from the Galway militia to the line, for some election services ren- dered by his family to the government candidate; was of a saturnine and discontented habit; always miserable about some trifle or other, and never at rest till he had drowned his spirits hi Jamaica rum which, since the regiment was abroad, he had -copiously used as a substitute for whisky. To such an extent had this passion gained upon him, that a corporal's guard was always in attendance when- ever he dined out, to convey him home to the barracks. The wearisome monotony of a close garrison, with so ungenial a companion, would have damped any man's spirits but O'Flaherty's. Pie, however, upon this, as other occasions in life, rallied himself to make the best of it; and by short excursions within certain prescribed limits along the river side, contrived to shoot and fish enough to get through the day, and improve the meager fare of his mess-table. Malone never appeared before dinner his late sittings at night re- quiring all the following day to recruit him for a new attack upon the rum-bottle. Xow, although his seeing so little of his brother officer was any- thing but unpleasant to O'Flaberty, yet the ennui of such a life was gradually wearing him, and all his wits were put in requisition to furnish occupation for his tune. Never a day passed without lu i- LORREQUEK. praying ardently for an attack from the enemy; any alternative, any reverse, had been a blessing compared with his present life. No such spirit, however, seemed to animate the Yankee troops; not a soldier was to be seen for miles around, and every straggler that passed the Fort concurred in saying that the Americans were not within four days' march of the frontier. Weeks passed over, and the same state of things remaining un- changed, O'Flaherty gradually relaxed some of his strictness as to duty; small foraging parties of three and four being daily permitted to leave the Fort a few hours, to which they usually returned laden with wild turkeys and fish both being found in great abundance near them. Such was the life of the little garrison for two or three long sum- mer months each day so resembling its fellow, that no difference could be found. As to how the war was faring, or what the aspect of affairs might be, they absolutely knew nothing. Newspapers never reached them; and whether from having so much occupation at headquarters, or that the difficulty of sending letters prevented, their friends never wrote a line; and thus they jogged on, a very vegetable existence, till thought at last was stagnating in their brains, and O'Flaherty half envied his companion's resource in the spirit flask. Such was the state of affairs at the Fort, when one evening O'Flaherty appeared to pace the little rampart that looked toward Lake Ontario, with an appearance of anxiety and impatience, strangely at variance with his daily phlegmatic look. It seemed that the corporal's party he had dispatched that morning to forage, near the "Falls," had not returned, and already were four hours later than their time away. Every imaginable mode of accounting for their absence suggested itself to his mind. Sometimes he feared that they had been attacked by the Indian hunters, who were far from favorably disposed toward their poaching neighbors. Then, again, it might be merely that they had missed their track in the forest ; or could it be that they had ventured to reach Goat Island in a canoe, and had been carried down the rapids? Such were the torturing doubts that passed, as some shrill squirrel or hoarse night-owl pierced the air with a cry, and then all was silent again. While thus the hours went slowly by, his attention was attracted by a bright light in the sky. It appeared as if part of the heavens were reflecting some strong glare from beneath ; for as he looked, the light, at first pale and colorless, gradually deep- ened into a rich mellow hue, and at length through the murky black- ness of the night, a strong clear current of flame rose steadily upward from the earth, and pointed toward the sky. From the direction, it must have been either at the Falls, or immediately near them ; and now the horrible conviction flashed upon his mind, that the party had been waylaid by the Indians, who were, as is their custom, making a war feast over their victims. Not an instant was to be lost. The little garrison beat to arms, and as the men fell in, O'Flaherty east his eyes around while he selected a few brave fellows to accompany him. Scarcely had the men fallen out from the ranks, when the sentinel at the gates was challenged by a well-known voice, and ia a moment rnoxe the corporai of the 288 HARHY LORREQUER. foraging party was among them. Fatigue and exhaustion had so overcome him, that for some minutes he was speechless. At length he recovered sufficiently to give the following brief account: The little party having obtained their supply of venison above Queenston, were returning to the Fort, when they suddenly came upon a track of feet, and little experience in forest life soon proved that some new arrivals had reached the hunting-grounds, for on ex- amining them closely, they proved neither to be Indian tracks, nor yet those made by the shoes of the Fort party. Proceeding with caution to trace them backward for three or four miles, they reached the bank of the Niagara River, above the whirlpool, where the cross- ing is most easily effected from the American side. The mystery was at once explained ; it was a suiprise party of the Yankees, sent to attack Fort Peak, and the only thing to be done was to hasten back immediately to their friends, and prepare for their reception. With this intent, they took the river path as the shortest, but had not proceeded far when their fears were confirmed; for in a little embayment of the bank they perceived a party of twenty blue-coats, who, with their arms piled, were lying round, as if waiting for the hour of attack. The sight of this party added greatly to their alarm, for they now perceived that the Americans had divided their force the foot-tracks first seen being evidently those of another division. As the corporal and his few men continued, from the low and thick brushwood, to make their reconnaissance of the enemy, they observed with delight that they were not regulars, but a militia force. With this one animating thought, they again, with noiseless step, regained fiic forest, and proceeded upon their way. Scarcely, however, had fliey marched a mile, when the sound of voices and loud laughter apprised them that another party was near, which, as well as they could observe in the increasing gloom, was still larger than the f ormer. They were now obliged to make a considerable circuit, and advance still deeper into the forest, their anxiety hourly increasing, lest the enemy should reach the Fort before themselves. In this dilemma it was resolved that the party should separate the corporal determin- ing to proceed alone by the river bank, while the others, by a dttour of some miles, should endeavor to learn the force of the Yankees, and, as far as they could, their mode of attack. From that instant, the corporal knew no more; for, after two hours' weary exertion he reached the Fort, which, had it been but another mils distant, his strength had not held out for him to attain. However gladly poor O 'Flaherty might have hailed such informa- tion under other circumstances, now it came like a thunderbolt upon him. Six of his small force were away, perhaps ere this made pris- oners by the enemy; the Yankees, as well as he could judge, were a numerous party; and he himself totally without a single adviser for Malone had dined, and was, therefore, by this time in that pleasing state of indifference, in which he could only recognize an enemy in the man that did not send round the decanter. In the half -indulged hope that his state might permit some faint exercise of the reasoning faculty, O'Flaherty walked toward the small den they had designated as the mess-room, in search of his brother officer. As he entered the apartment, little disposed as he felt to mirth at tiAIiKV LOUUtQUEB. 289 Such a moment, the tableau before him was too ridiculous not to laugh at. At one side of the fire-place sat Malone, his face florid with drinking, ;ind his eye-bails projecting. Upon his head was a small Indian skull cap, with two peacock feathers, and a piece of scarlet cloth which hung down behind. In one hand he held a smoking goblet of rum punch, and in the other a long Indian chibouk- pipe. Opposite to him, but squatted upon the floor, reposed a red Indian, that lived in the Fort, as a guide, equally drunk, but pre- serving, even in his liquor, an impassive, grave aspect, strangely conirasting with the high excitement of Malone's face. The red man wore Malone's uniform coat, which he had put on back foremost his head-dress having in all probability been exchanged for it, as an amicable courtesy between the parties. There they sat, looking fixedly at each other; neither spoke, nor even smiled the rum bottle, which at brief intervals passed from one to the other, maintained a friendly intercourse that each was content with. To the hearty fit of laughing of O'Flaherty, Malone replied by a look of drunken defiance, and then nodded to his red friend, who returned the courtesy. As poor Tom left the room, he saw that nothing was to be hoped for in this quarter, and determined to beat the garrison to arms without any further delay. Scarcely had he closed the door behind him, when a sudden thought flashed through his brain. He hesitated, walked forward a few paces, stopped again, and calling out to the corporal, said: " You are certain they were militia?" " Yes, sir; quite sure." " Then, by Jove, I have it," cried O'Flaherty. " If they should turn out to be the Buffalo Fencibles, we may get through this scrape better than I hoped for." " I believe you are right, sir; for I heard one of the men as I passed observe, ' What will they say in Buffalo when it's over?' " "Send Mathers here, corporal; and do you order four rank and file, with side arms, to be in readiness immediately." "Mathers, you have heard the news ," r said O'Flaherty, as the sergeant entered. " Can the fort hold out ag'aiust such a force as Jack- son reports? You doubt; well, so do I; so let's see what's to be done. Can you remember, was it not the Buffalo militia that were so tremendously thrashed by the Delawares last autumn?" " Yes, sir, they chased them for two days and nights, and had they not reached the town of Buffalo, the Delawares would not have left a scalp in the regiment." " Can you recollect the chief's name it was Carran something, eh?" ' ' Caudan-dacwagae. ' ' " Exactly. Where is he supposed to be now?" " Up in Detroit, sir, they say, but no one knows. Those fellows are here to-day, and there to-morrow." "Well, then, sergeant, here's my plan." Saying these words, O'Flaherty proceeded to walk toward his quarters, accompank-tl by the sergeant, with whom he conversed for soi:ie time eagerly occa- sionally replying, as it appeared, to objections, and offering explana- tions as the other seemed to require them. The colloquy lasted half 290 HARRY LORREQUER. an hour and although the veteran sergeant seemed difficult of con- viction, it ended by his saying as he left the room: " Well, sir, as you say, it can only come to hard knocks at the worst. Here goes I'll send off the scout party to make the fires and choose the men for the out-pickets, for no time is to be lost." In about an hour's time from the scene I have mentioned, a num- ber of militia officers, of different grades, were seated round a bivouac fire, upon the bank of the Niagara River. The conversation seemed of an angry nature, for the voices of the speakers were loud and irascible, and their gestures evidenced a state of high excitement. " I see," said one, who seemed the superior of the party " I see well where this will end. We shall have another Queens'ton affair, as we had last fall wilji the Delawares. " " I only say," replied another, " that if you wish our men to stand fire in the morning, the less you remind them of the Delawares the better. What is that noise? Is not that a drum beating?" The party at these words sprung to their legs, and stood in an atti- tude of listening for some seconds. " Who goes there?" sung out a sentinel from his post; and then, after a moment's delay, added, " Pass flag of truce to Major Brown's quarters." Scarcely were the words spoken, when three officers in scarlet, preceded by a drummer with a white flag, stood before the American party. " To whom may I address myself?" said one of the British who, I may inform my" reader, en passant, was no other than 'Flaherty. " To whom may I address myself as the officer in command?'^ " I am Major Brown," said a short, plethoric little man, in a blue uniform and round hat, " And who are you?" " Major O 'Flaherty, of his majesty's fi'fthfoot," said Tom, with a very sonorous emphasis on each word, "the bearer of a flag of truce and an amicable proposition from Major-General Allen, com- manding the garrison of Fort Peak. " The Americans, who were evidently taken by surprise at their in- tentions of attack being known, were silent, while he continued : " Gentlemen, it may appear somewhat strange that a garrison, possessing the natural strength of a powerful position, supplied with abundant ammunition and every muniment of war, should dispatch a flag of truce on the eve of an attack, in preference to waiting for the moment, when a sharp and well-prepared reception might'best attest its vigilance and discipline. But the reasons for this step are soon explained. In the first place, you intend a surprise. We have been long aware of your projected attack. Our spies have tracked you from your crossing the river above the whirlpool to your present position. Every man of your party is numbered by us; and, what is still more, numbered by our allies yes, gentlemen, I must repeat it, 'allies,' though, as a Briton, I blush at. the word. Shame and disgrace forever be that man's portion, who first associated the hon- orable usages of war with the atrocious and bloody cruelties of the savage, "iet so it is: the Delawares of the hills," here the Yankees exchanged very peculiar looks, " have this morning arrived at Fort Peak, with orders to ravage the whole of your frontier, from Fort George to Lake Erie. They brought us the information of your HARRY LORREQUER. 291 approach, and their chief is, while I speak, making an infamous proposition, by which a price is to he paid for every scalp he pro- duces in the morning. Now, as the general cannot refuse to co- operate with the savages, without compromising himself with the commander-in-chief , neither can he accept of such assistance with- out some pangs of conscience. He has taken the only course open to him: he has dispatched myself and my brother officers here," O'Flaherty glanced at two privates dressed up in his regimentals, " to offer you terms " O'Flaherty paused when he arrived thus far, expecting that the opposite party would make some reply; but they continued silent; when, suddenly, from the dense forest there rung forth a wild and savage yell, that rose and fell several times, like the pibroch of the highlander, and ended at last in a loud whoop, that was echoed and re-echoed again and again for several seconds after. " Hark!" said O'Flaherty, with an accent of horror. " Hark! the war-cry of the Delawares ! The savages are eager for their prey. May it yet be time enough to rescue you from such a fate! Time presses, our terms are these, as they do not admit of discussion, and must be at once accepted or rejected, to your own ear alone can I impart them." Saying which, he took Major Brown aside, and, walking apart from the others, led him, by slow steps, into the forest. While O'Flaherty continued to dilate upon the atrocities of Indian war, and the revengeful character of the savages, he contrived to be always advancing toward the river side, till at length the glare of fire was perceptible through the gloom. Major Brown stopped suddenly, and pointed in the direction of the flame. " It is the Indian picket," said O'Flaherty, calmly; " and as the facts I have been detailing may be more palpable to your mind, you shall see them with your own eyes Yes, I repeat it, you shall, through the cover of this brushwood, see Caudan-dacwagea himself for he is with them in person." As O'Flaherty said this, he led Major Brown, now speechless with terror, behind a massive cork tree, from which spot they could look down upon the river side, where in a small creek, sat five or six persons in blankets, and scarlet head-dresses; their faces streaked with patches of yellow and red paint, to which the glare of the fire lent fresh horror. In the midst sat one, whose violent gestures and savage cries gave him the very appearance of a demon, as he resisted with all his might the efforts of the others to restrain him, shouting like a maniac all the while, and straggling to rise. "It is the chief," said O'Flaherty; "he will wait no longer. We have bribed the others to keep him quiet, if possible, a little time; but I see they cannot succeed." Aloud yell of triumph from below interrupted Tom's speech: the infuriated savage, who was no other than Mr. Malone, having obtained the rum bottle, for which he was fighting with all Ira might, his temper not being improved in the struggle by occasional admonitions from the red end of a cigar, applied to his naked skin, by the other Indians, who were his own soldiers, acting under O'Flaherty's orders. " Now, said Tom, " that you have convinced yourself, and can 292 HAKRY LORREQUER. satisfy your brother officers, will you take your chance? or will you accept the honored terms of the general, pile your arms, and retreat beyond the river before daybreak? Your muskets and ammunition will offer a bribe to the cupidity of the savage, and delay his pursuit till you can reach some place of safety." Major Brown heard the proposal in silence, and at last determined upon consulting his brother officers. "I have outstayed my time," said O'Flaherty, "but stop; the lives of so many are at stake, I consent." Saying which, they walked on without speaking, till they arrived where the others were standing around the watch-fire. As Brown retired to consult with the officers, Tom heard with pleasure how rnuch his two companions had worked upon the Yan- kees' fears during his absence, by details of the vindictive feelings of the Delawares, and their vows to annihilate the Buffalo militia. Before five minutes they had decided. Upon a solemn pledge from O'Flaherty that the terms of the compact were to be observed as he stated them, they agreed to march with their arms to the ford, where having piled them, they were to cross over, and make the best of their way home. By sunrise the next morning all that remained of the threatened attack on Fort Peak, were the smoldering ashes of some wood fires, eighty muskets piled in the Fort, and the yellow ocher and red stripes that still adorned the countenance of the late Indian chief but now snoring Lieutenant Maurice Malone. CHAPTER XLVIII. THE COURIER'S PASSPORT. A SECOND night succeeded to the long dreary day of the diligence; and the only one agreeable reflection arose in the feeling that every mile traveled was diminishing the chance of pursuit, and removing me still further from that scene of trouble and annoyance that was soon to furnish gossip for Paris, under the title of " The Affaire O'Lfary." How he was ever to extricate himself from the numerous and em- barrassing difficulties of his position, gave me, I confess, less un- easiness than the uncertainty of my own fortunes. Luck seemed ever to befriend him, me it had always accompanied far enough through life to make its subsequent desertion more painful. How far I should blame myself for this, I stopped not to consider; but brooded over the fact in a melancholy and discontented mood. The one thought uppermost in niy mind was, how will Lady Jane re- ceive me? am I forgotten, or am I only remembered as the subject of that unlucky mistake, when, under the guise of an elder son I was fe'ted and made much of? What pretensions I had, without fortune, rank, influence, or even expectations of any kind, to seek, tiie hand of the most beautiful girl of the day, with the largest fort- une as IKT dowry, I dare not ask myself, the reply would have 1 ail my hopes; and my pursuit would have at once been abandoned " Tell the people you are an excellent preacher," was HAREY LORREQUER. 293 the advice of an old and learned divine to a younger and less expe- rienced one, " tell them so every morning, and every noon, and every evening, and at last they will begin to believe it. So thought I. I shall impress upon the Callonbys that I am a most unexcep- tionable "parti." Upon every occasion they shall hear it, as they open their newspapers at breakfast, as they sip their soup at lunch- eon, as they adjust their napkin at dinner, as they chat over their wine at night. My influence in the house shall be unbounded, my pleasures consulted, my dislikes remembered. The people in favor with me shall dine there three times a week, those less fortunate, shall be put into schedule A. My opinions on all subjects shall be a law, whether I pronounce upon politics or discuss a dinner: and all this I shall accomplish by a successful flattery of my lady, a little bullying of my lord, a devoted attention to the youngest sister, a special cultivation of Kilkee, and a very prononce neglect of Lady Jane. These were my half-waking thoughts, as the heavy diligence rumbled over the pave into Nancy; and I was aroused by the door being suddenly jerked open, nnd a bronzed face, with a black beard and mustache, being thrust in among us. " Your passports, Messieurs," as a lantern was held up in succes- sion across our faces, and we handed forth our crumpled and worn papers to the official. The night was stormy and dark gusts of wind sweeping along, bearing with them the tail of some thunder-cloud, mingling their sound with a falling tile from the roofs of a broken chimney-pot. The officer in vain endeavored to hold open the passports while he inscribed his name, and just as the last scrawl was completed the lantern went out. Muttering a heavy curse upon the weather, he thrust them in upon us en masse, and, banging the door to, called out to the conducteur, *' en route." Again we rumbled on, and ere we cleared the last lamps of the town the whole part_y was once more sunk in sleep,, save myself. Hour after hour rolled by, the rain pattering upon the roof, and the heavy plash of the horses' feet contributing their mournful sounds, to the melancholy that was stealing over .me. At length we drew up at the door of a little auberge, and, by the noise and bustle without, 1 perceived there was a change of horses. Anxious to stretch my legs, and relieve, if even for a moment, the wearisome monotony of the night, I got out and strode into the little parlor of the inn. There was a cheerful fire in an open stove, beside which stood a portly figure in a sheepskin bunta and a cloth traveling cap with a gold band ; his legs were cased in high Russia leather boots, all evident signs of the profession of the wearer, had even his haste at supper not bespoke the fact tha^. he was a government courier. " You had better make haste with the horses, Antoine, if you don't wish the postmaster to hear of it," said he, as I entered, hi8 mouth filled with pie-crust and vin dc Beaune as he spoke. A lumbering peasant, with a blouse, sabots, and a striped night- cap, replied in some unknown patois, when the courier again said: " Well, then, take the diligence horses; I must get on at all events. They are not so presse, I'll be bound ; besides, it will save the gen- darmes some miles of a ride if they overtake them here." 294 HARRY LORREQUER. " Have we another vise of our passports here, then?" said I, ad dressing the courier, " for we have alreadj r been examined at Nancy." "Not exactly a vise," said the courier, eying me most suspi- ciously as he spoke, and then continuing to eat with his former vo- racity. " Then, what, may I ask, have we to do with these gendarmes?" " It is a search," said the courier, gruffly, and with the air of one who desired no further questioning. I immediately ordered a bottle of Burgundy, and filling the large goblet before him, said, with much respect: " A votre bonne voyage, Monsieur le Courier." To this he at once replied, by taking off his cap and bowing po- litely as he drank off the wine. " Have we any runaway felon or a stray galerien among us?" said I, laughingly,^' that they are going to search us?" "No, monsieur," said the courier; " but there has been a govern- ment order to arrest a person on this road connected with the dread- ful Polish plot, that has just eclated at Paris. I passed a vidette of cavalry at Nancy, and they will be up here in half an hour." "A Polish plot! Why, I left Paris only a few days ago, and never heard of it." " C'est bien possible, monsieur perhaps, after all, it may ouly be an affair of the police; but they have certainly arrested one pris- oner at Meurice's, charged with this, as well as the attempt to rob Frascati, and murder the croupier. " " Alas," said I, " with a half -suppressed groan, "it is too true; that infernal fellow, O'Leary, has ruined me, and I shall be brought back to Paris, and only taken from prison to meet the open shame and ignominy of a public trial." What was to be done? every moment was precious. I walked to the door to conceal my agitation. All was dark and gloomy. The thought of escape was my only one; but how to accomplish it Every stir without suggested to my anxious mind the approachin" 1 tread of horses. Eveiy rattle of the harness seemed like the clink of accouterments. While I yet hesitated, I felt that my fate was in the balnnce Concealment where I was, was impossible; there were no means of obtaining horses to proceed. My last only hope then rested in the courier; he, perhaps, might be bribed to assist me at this juncture Still his impression as to the enormity of the crime imputed mi^it deter him; and there was no time for explanation, if even he would listen to it. I returned to the room: he had finished his meal and was now engaged in all the preparations for encountering a wet and dreary night, I hesitated; my fears that if he should refuse my offers, all chance of escape was gone, deterred me for a moment At length, as he wound a large woolen shawl around his throat and seemed to have completed his costume, I summoned nerve for the effort^ and, with as much boldness in my manner as I could muster said: "Monsieur le Courier, one word with you." I here closed the door, and continued. " My fortunes my whole prospects hi life atpend upon my reaching Strasbourg by to-morrow night You HARRY LORREQUER. 295 alone can be the means of my doing so. Is there any price you can mention for which you will render me this service? if so, name it." " So, then, monsieur," said the courier, slowly "so, then, you are the " " You have guessed it, " said I, interrupting. " Do you accept my proposal?" " It is impossible," said he, " utterly impossible; for, even should I be disposed to run the risk on my own account, it would avail you nothing; the first town we entered your passport would be demand- ed, and, not being vised by the minister to travel en courier, you would at once be detained and arrested. " " Then am I lost!" said I, throwing myself upon a chair; at the same instant my passport, which I carried in my breast-pocket, fell out at the feet of the courier He lifted it and opened it leisurely. So engrossed was I by my misfortunes that for some minutes I did not perceive that, as he continued to read the passport, he smiled from time to time, till at length a hearty fit of laughing awoke me from my abstraction. My first impulse was to seize him by the throat; controlling my temper, however, with an effort, I said: " And pray, monsieur, may I ask in what manner the position I staii'l in at this moment affords you so much amusement? Is there anything so particularly droll anything so excessively ludicrous in my situation or what particular gift do you possess that shall pre- vent me throwing you out of the window?" "Mais, monsieur," said he, half stifled with laughter, " do you know the blunder I fell into? it is really too good. Could you-only guess who I took you for, you would laugh too." Here he became so overcome with merriment, that he was obliged to sit down, which he did opposite to me, and actually shook with laughter. " When this comedy is over," thought I, " we may begin to un- derstand each other." Seeing no prospect of this, I became at length impatient, and jumping on my legs, said: Enough, sir, quite enough of this foolery. Believe me, you have every reason to be thankful that my present embarrassment should so far engross me, that I cannot afford time to give you a thrashing." " Pardon, mille pardons," said he, humbly; " but you will, I am sure, forgive me when I tell you that 1 was stupid enough to mis- take you for the fugitive Englishman, whom the gendarmes are in pursuit of. How good, eh?" "Oh! devilish good but what do you mean?" " Why, the fellow that caused the attack at Frascati, and all that, and " " Yes well, eh? Did you think I was he?" " To be sure I did, till I saw your passport." " Till you saw my passport?" Why, what on earth can he mean? thought 1. " No, buV said I, half jestingly, " how could youmake Buch a blunder?" " Why, your confused manner your impatience to get on your hurried questions, all convinced me. In fact, I'd have wagered anything you were the Englishman." ' And what, in heaven's name, does he think me now!" thought HARRY LORREQTJER." I, as I endeavored to join the laugh so ludicrous a mistake occa sionGcl. But we are delaying sadly," said the courier. " Are you ready 1 '" Ready ready for what?" Strasb S - ^ "^ f C0urse ' Don>t ? ou wish to S et early to " To be sure I do." ''Well then, come along. But pray, don't mind your luggage for my caleche is loaded. Your instruments can come in the difioence " My instruments in the diligence! He's mad that's flat 9 ' How they will laugh at Strasbourg at my mistake " in th^meSeS'''' th Ught L " The ^ d Ubt fa '' ^ * m ^ So saying, I followed the courier to the door, jumped into his caleche, and m another moment was hurrying over the pave at a pace that defied pursuit, and promised soon to make up for all our late lelay Scarcely was the fur-lined apron of the caleche buttoned around me, and the German blinds let down, when I set to work to think over the circumstance that had just befallen me As I had never examined my passport from the moment Trevanion handed it o me at Fans, I knew nothing of its contents: therefore as to wlvit impression it might convey of me, I was totally ignorant To ask the courier for it now might excite suspicions; so that I was totally at sea how to account for his sudden change in my favor or in S? Fi reC ;T e Ca , P ? c ? y J W , as travelin S besi nl } , the thought of treachery occurred to me. Is he about to hand me over to the gendarmes? and are we now only retracing our steps toward Kancy? If so, Monsieur le Courier, whatever & my fate yours is certainly an unenviable one. My reflections on this bead were soon broken in upon, for my companion again returned to the subject of his " singular error," and assured me that he was as near as possible leaving me behind, under the mistaken impression hi !?T- ,Tf * mysdf ; " a , n - d informe(1 me that all Strasbourg would be delighted to see me, which latter piece of news was only the more flattering, that I knew no one there, nor had ever been in that city in my life; and after about an hour's mystification as to my tastes habits, and pursuits, he fell fast asleep, leaving me to solve the diffi- cult problem as to whether I was not somebody else, or the only alternative whether traveling en courier might not be prescribed M pnysicians as a mode for treating insane patients CHAPTER XLIX. A NIGHT ES T STRASBOURG. WITH the dawn of day my miseries recommenced- for after let mg down the sash, and venting some very fervent imprecations iroon the postilion for not going faster than his horses were aHo 'the courier once more recurred to his last nisiht's olunder, arid proceeded very leisurely to catechize me as to my probable stav at Strasbourg when I should go from thence, &c. As I was still in doubt what or wftom he took me for, I answered with the greatest circumspection HARRY LORREQUER. 29? watching the while, for any clew that might lead me to a discoTery of myself. Thus, occasionally evading all pushing and home queries, and sometimes, when hard pressed, Feigning drowsiness, I passed the long and anxious day the fear of being overtaken ever mingling with the thoughts that some unlucky admission of mine might discover my real character to the courier, who, at any post sta ion, might hand me over to the authorities. Could I only guess at the parti arn performing, thought I, I might manage to keep up the illusion ; but my attention was so entirely engrossed by fenc- ing off all his threats, that I could find out nothing. At last, as night drew near, the thought that we were approaching Strasbourg rallied my spirits, suggesting an escape from all pursuit, as well as the welcome prospect of getting rid of my present torturer, who, whenever I awoke from a doze, reverted to our singular meeting with a pertinacity that absolutely seemed like malice. " As I am aware that this is your first visit to Strasbourg," said the courier, " perhaps I can be of service to you in recommending a hotel. Put up, I advise you, at the ' Bear ' a capital hotel, and not ten minutes' distance from the theater." I thanked him for the counsel ; and, rejoicing in the fact that my prototype, whoever he might be, was unknown in the city, began to feel some little hope of getting through this scrape, as I had done so many others. " They have been keeping the ' Huguenots ' for your arrival, and all Strasbourg is impatient for your coming." " Indeed!" said I, mumbling something meant to be modest. " Who the devil am I, then, to cause all this fracas? Heaven grant, not the new ' prefect,' or the commander of the forces." " I am told the ' Zaubertlotte ' is your favorite opera?" " I can't say that I ever heard it that is, I mean that I could say well got up." Here I floundered on, having so far forgot myself as to endanger everything. " How very unfortunate! Well, I hope you will not long have as much to say. Meanwhile, here we are this is the ' Bear. ' ' We rattled into the ample porte cochereoi a vast hotel the postilion cracking his enormous whip, and bells ringing on every side, as if the crown prince of Russia had been the arrival, and not a poor sub. in the th. The courier jumped out, and running up to the landlord, whis- pered a few words in his ear, to which the other answered by a deep " ah vraiment!" and then saluted me with an obsequiousness that made my flesh quake. " I shall make ' meshommages,' in the morning," said the courier, as he drove off at full speed to deliver his dispatches, and left me to my own devices to perform a character, without even being able to guess what it might be. My passport, too, the only thing that could throw any light upon the affair, he had taken along with him, prom- ising to have it vised, and save me any trouble. Of all my difficulties and puzzling situations in life, this was cer- tainly the worst ; for however often my lot had been to personate another, yet hitherto I had had the good forlune to be aware of what and whom \ was performing. Now I might be anybody from 298 HARRY LORREQL'ER. Marshal Soult to Monsieur Scribe; one thing only was certain I must be a " celebrity." The confounded pains and trouble they wore taking to receive me attested the fact, and left me to the pl'easinf reflection that my detection, should it take place, would be sure of attracting a very general publicity. Having ordered my supper from the landlord, with a certain air of reserve, sufficient even to prevent an Alsace host from obtruding any questions upon me, I took my opportunity to stroll from the inn down to the river side. There lay the broad rapid Rhine, separating me, by how narrow a gulf, from that land where, if I once arrived, my safety was certain. Never did that great boundary of nations strike me so forcibly as now when my own petty interests and fortune were at stake. JS T ight WHS fast settling upon the low, flat banks of the stream, and nothing stirred save the ceaseless ripple of the river. One fishing bark alone was on the water. I hailed the solitary tenant of it. and after some little parley induced him to ferry me over. This, however, could only be done when the night was further advanced it being against the law to cross the river except at certain hours, and between two estab- ished points where officers of the revenue were stationed. The fisherman was easily bribed, however, to evade the regulation and only bargained that I should meet him on the bank before daybreak Having settled this point to my satisfaction, I returned to mv hotel in better spirits; and with a Strasbourg pate, and a flask of Niren- slemer, drank to my speedy deliverance. How to consume'the long, dreary hours between this time and that of my departure, I knew not; for though greatly fatigued, I felt that leep was impossible; the usual resource of a gossip with the host was equally out of the question; and all that remained was the theater, which I happily remembered was not far from the hotel. It was an opera night, and the house was crowded to excess; but ith some little management, I obtained a place in a box near the stage. The piece was " Les Franc Macons," which was certainly admirably supported, and drew down from the audience- no mean one as judges of music the loudest thunders of applause As for me the house was as great a curiosity as the opera. The novel spectacle : some hundreds of people relishing and appreciating the highest order of musical genius, was something totally new and surprising to me The curtain at length fell upon the fifth act and now the deafening :r of acclamation was tremendous, and amid a perfect shout of enthusiasm, the manager announced the opera for the ensuing even- ing. Scarcely had this subsided, when a buzz ran throueh the house- at first subdued, but gradually getting louder extending from the >oxes to the balcony from the balcony to the parterre and finally even to the galleries. Groups of people stood upon the benches and looked fixedly on one part of the house; then changed and regarded as eagerly the other. What can this mean? thought I. Is the theater on fire? Some- thing surely has gone wrong! In this conviction, with the courageous spirit of curiosity, I mounted )on a seat, and looked about me on every side; but unable still to ten the object which seemed to attract the rest, as I was about to suine my place, my eyes fell upon a well-known face, which in an slant I remembered was that of my late fellow- traveler the courier HARRY L011REQUER. 299 Anxious to avoid his recognition, I attempted to get down at once, but before I could accomplish it, the wretch had perceived and recog- nized me ; and I saw him, even with a gesture of delight, point me out to some friends beside him. " Confound the fellow," mutttered I; "I must leave this at once, or I shall be involved in some trouble." Scarcely was my resolve taken, when a new burst of voices arose' from the pit the words " 1'Auteur;" " 1'Auteur," mingling with loud cries for " Meerberger," " Meerberger, " to appear. So, thought I, it seems the great composer is here. Oh, by Jove! I must have a peep at him before I go. So, leaning over the front rail of the box, I looked anxiously about to catch one hasty glimpse of one of the great men of his day and country. What was my surprise, however, to perceive that about two thousand eyes were firmly riveted upon the box I was seated in; while about half the number of tongues called out unceasingly, " Mr. Meerberger vive Meerberger vive 1'Auteur des Franc Magons vive Franc Magons," &c. Before I could turn to look for the hero of the scene, my legs were taken from under me, and I felt myself lifted by several strong men and held out in front of the box, while the whole audience, rising en masse, saluted me yes, me. Harry Lorrequer with a cheer that shook the building. Fear- ful of precipitating myself into the pit beneath, if I made tne least effort, and half wild with terror aud amazement. I stared about like a maniac, while a beautiful young woman tripped along the edge of the box, supported by her companion's hand, and placed lightly upon my brow a chaplet of roses and laurel. Here the applause was like an earthquake. " May the devil fly away with half of ye," was my grateful re- sponse to as full a cheer of applause as ever the walls of the house re-echoed. " On the stage on the stage!" shouted that portion of the audience who, occupying the same side of the house as myself, preferred hav- ing a better view of me, and to the stage I was accordingly hurried, down a narrow stair, through a side scene, and over half the corps de ballet who were waiting for their entree. Kicking, plunging, buffeting like a madman, they carried me to the " flats," when the manager led me forward to the footlights; my wreath of flowers con- trasting rather ruefully with my bruised cheek and torn habiliments. Human beings, God be praised, are only capable of certain efforts BO that one-half the audience were coughing their sides out, while the other were hoarse as bull-frogs from their enthusiasm in less than five minutes. " You'll have what my friend Roony calls a chronic bronchitis for this, these three weeks," said I, " that's one comfort," as I bowed my way back to the " practicable " door, through which I made my exit, with the thousand faces of the parterre shouting my name, or, as fancy dictated, that of one of my operas. I retreated behind the scenes, to encounter very nearly as much, and at closer quarters, too, as that lately sustained before the audience. After an embrace uf two minutes' duration from the manager, I ran the gantlet from tlio prima donna to the last triangle of the orchestra, who cut away a back button of my coat as a " souvenir." During all this, 1 must confess, very little acting was needed on my part. They were so 300 HARRY LORREQUER. perfectly contented with their self-deception, that if I had made an affidavit before the mayor if there be such a functionary in such an insane town they would not have believed me. Wearied and ex- hausted at length by all I had gone through, I sat down upon a bench, and, affecting to be overcome by my feelings, concealed my face in my handkerchief. This was the first moment of relief I ex- perienced since my arrival ; but it was not to last long, for the man- ager, putting down his head close to my ear, whispered : ' ' Monsieur Meerberger, I have a surprise for you such as you have not had for some time, I venture to say " " I defy you on this head," thought I. "If they make me out King Solomon now, it will not amaze me " " And when 1 tell you my secret," continued he, "you will ac- knowledge I cannot be of a very jealous disposition. Madame Bap- tiste has just told me she knew you formerly, and that she that is, you were in fact, you understand there had been so to say a jittle ' amourette ' between you. " I groaned in spirit as I thought, now am I lost without a chance of escape the devil take her reminiscences. " I see," continued le bon rnari, "you cannot guess of whom I speak ; but when I tell you of Amelie Graudet, your memory will, perhaps, be better." " Amelie Grandet!" said I, with a stage start. I need not say that I had never heard the name before. " Amelie Grandet here!" " Yes, that is she," said the manager, rubbing his hands- " and my wife, too " "Married! Amelct Grandet married? No,. no; it is impossible 1 cannot believe it, But were it true true, mark me for worlds would I not meet her." " Comment il estdrole," said the manager, soliloquizing aloud; " for my wife takes it much easier, seeing they never met each other since they were fifteen." " Ho, ho!" thought I, " the affair is not so bad either time makes great changes in that space. And does she still remember me?" said I, in a very Romco-in-the-garden voice. " Why, so far as remembering the little boy that used to play with her in the orchard at her mother's cottage near Pirua, and with whom she used to go boating upon the Elbe, I believe the recollection is perfect. But come along she insists upon seeing you, and is this very moment waiting supper in our room for you." " A thorough German she must be," thought I, " with her sym- pathies and her supper her reminiscences and her Rhine wine hunt- ing in couples through her brain." Summoning courage from the fact of our long absence from each other, I followed the manager through a wilderness of pavilions, forests, clouds, and cataracts, and at length arrived at a little door' at which he knocked gently. "Come in, "said a soft voice inside. We opened, and beheld a very beautiful young woman in Tyrol ese costume. She was to per- form, in the afterpiece hex low bodice ami short scarlet petticoat displaying the most perfect symmeiry of form, and roundness of pro- portion. She was dressing her hair before a. low glass as we came in, and scarcely turned at our approach; but iu an instant, as if some HAKRY LORREQUER. 301 sudden thought had struck her, she sprung fulry round, and looking at me fixedly for above a minute very trying one for me she glanced at her husband, whose countenance plainly indicated that she was right, and calling out, " C'est hii c'est Men lui," threw her- self into my arms, and sobbed convulsively. " If this were to be the only fruits of my impersonation," thought I, "it is not so bad but I am greatly afraid these good people will find out a wife and seven babies for me before morning." Whether the manager thought that enough had been done for stage effect, I know not; but he gently disengaged the lovely Amelie, and deposited her upon a sofa, to a place upon which she speedily mo- tioned me by a look from a pair of very seducing blue eyes. ' ' Francois, mon cher, you must put off La Chaumiere. I can't play to-night." " Put it off! But only think of the audience, ma mie they will pull down the house." "C'est possible," said she, carelessly. "If that will give them any pleasure, I suppose the} 7 must be indulged; but I, too, must have a little of my own way. 1 shall not play." The tone this was said in the look- -the easy gesture of command no less than the afflicted helplessness of the luckless husband, showed me that Amelie, however docile as a sweetheart, had certainly her own way as a wife. While Le cher Francois then retired, to make his proposition to the audience of substituting something for the Chaumiere the " sudden illness of Madame Baptiste having prevented her appearance " we began to renew our old acquaintance by a thousand inquiries from that long-past time when we were sweethearts and lovers. " You remember me, then, so well?" said I. "As of yesterday. You are much taller, and your eyes darker; but still there is something. You know, however, I have been ex- pecting to see you these two days ; and tell me frankly, how do you find me looking?" " More beautiful, a thousand times more beautiful than ever all save in one thing, Amelie." " And that is " " You are married." " How you jest. But let us look back. Do you ever think on any of our old compacts?" Here she pulled a leaf from a rosebud in her bouquet, and kissed it. "I wager that you have forgotten that." How I should have replied to this masonic sign, God knows; but the manager fortunately entered, to assure us that the audience had kindly consented not to pull down the house, but to listen to a five- act tragedy instead, in which he had to perform the principal charac- ter. " So, then, don't wait supper, Amelie; but take care of Mon- sieur Mecrberger till my return." Thus, once more were we left to our souvenirs, in which whenever hard pushed myself, 1 regularly carried the war into the enemy's camp, by allusions to incidents, which I need not observe had never occurred. After a thousand stories of our early loves, mingled with, an occasional sigh over their fleeting character now indulging a soft retrospect of the once happy past now moralizing on the 302 HARRY LORREQUER. future Amelie and I chatted away the hours till the-conclusion of the tragedy. By this time the hour was approaching for my departure; so, after a very tender leave-taking with my new friend and my old love, I left the theater, and walked slowly along to the river. "So much for early associations," thought I; " and how much better pleased are we ever to paint the past according to our own fancy than to remember it as it really was. Hence all the insuffera- ble cant about happy infancy and 'the glorious school-boy days,' which have generally no more foundation in the fact than have'the ' Chfiteaus en Espagne ' we build up for the future. I wager that the real Amant d'Enfance, when he arrives, is not half so great a friend with the fair Amelie as his unworthy shadow. At the same time, I had just a.s scou that Lady Jane should have no ""premiers amours ' to look back upon, except such as I have performed a character in." The plash of oars near me broke up my reflections, and the next moment found me skimming the rapid Rhine as I thought, for the last time. What will they say in Strasbourg to-morrow? How will they account for the mysterious disappearance of Monsieur Meerbor- ger? Poor Amelie Grandet! For so completely had the late inci- dents engrossed my attention that I had for the moment lost sight of the most singular event of all how 1 came to be mistaken for the illustrious composer. CHAPTER L. A SURPRISE. IT was late upon the following day ere I awoke from the long, deep sleep that closed my labors in Strasbourg. In the confusion of my waking thoughts, I imagined myself still before a crowded and enthusiastic audience the glare of the foot-lights the crash of the orchestra the shouts of ' I'Auteur," "VAuteur," were all before me, and so completely possessed me, that, as the waiter entered with hot water, I could not resist the impulse to pull off my night-cap with one hand, and press the other to my heart in the usual theat- rical style of acknowledgments for a most llattering reception. The startled look of the poor fellow, as he nearcd the door to escape, roused me from my hallucination, and awakened me to the convic- tion that the suspicion of lunacy might be a still heavier infliction than the personation of Monsieur Meerberger. With thoughts of this . nature, I assumed my steadiest demeanor ordered my breakfast in the most orthodox fashion eat it like a man in his senses ; and when I threw myself back in the wicker conveniency they called a caleche, and bid adieu to Kehl, the whole fraternity of the inn woiild have given me a certificate of sanity be- fore any court in Europe. " Now for Munich," said I, as we rattled along down the steep street of the little town. " Now for Munich, with all the speed that first of postmasters and slowest of men, the Prince of Tour and Taxis, will afford us." HARRY LORREQUER. 303 The future engrossed all my thoughts; and puzzling as my late adventures had bteu to account for, I never for a moment reverted to the past. " Is she to be mine?" was the ever-rising question in my mind. The thousand difficulties that had crossed my path might long since have terminated a pursuit where there was so little of promise, did I not cherish the idea in my heart, that I was fated to succeed. Sheridan answered the ribald sneers of his first auditory, by saying, "Laugh on; hut I have it in me, and hy it shall come out." So I~whispered to myself : Go on, Harry. Luck has been hitherto against you, it is true; hut you have yet one throw of the dice, and something seems to say a fortunate one, in store; and, if so hut I cannot trust myself with such anticipations. I am well aware how little the world sympathizes with the man whose fort- unes are the sport of his temperament that April day frame of Blind is ever the jest and scoff of those hardier and sterner natures, who, if never overjoyed hy success, are never much depressed by failure. That I have been cast in the former mold, these Confes- sions have, alas! plainly proved; but that I regret it, I fear also, for my character for sound judgment, I must answer " No," " Better far to be, In utter darkness lying, Than be blest with light and see That light forever flying," is, doubtless, very pretty poetry, but very poor philosophy. For myself, and some glimpses of sunshine this fair world has afforded me, fleeting and passing enough, in all conscience, and yet I am not so ungrateful as to repine at my happiness, because it was not per- manent; as I am thankful for those bright hours of " Love's young dream," which, if nothing more, are at least delightful souvenirs. They form the golden thread in the tangled web of our existence, ever appearing amid the darker surface around, and throwing a fair halo of brilliancy on what, without it, were cold, bleak, and barren. No, no " The light that lies In woman's eyes," were it twice as fleeting, as it is ten times more brilliant than the forked lightning, irradiates the dark gloom within us for many a long day after it has ceased to shine upon us. As in boyhood it is Hie humiliating influence that tempers the fierce and unruly pas- sions of our nature, so, in manhood, it forms the goal to which all our better and higher aspirations tend, telling us there is something more worthy than gold, and a more lofty pinnacle of ambition than the praise and envy of our fellow-men: and we may rest as- sured, that when this feeling dies within us, all the ideal of life dies with it, and nothing remains save the dull reality of our daily cares and occupations. " I have lived and have loved," saith Schiller; and if it were not that there seems some tautology in the pli rase, I should say, such is my own motto. If Lady Jane but prove true if I have really succeeded if. in a word but why speculate upon such chances? what pretensions have 1? what rea- son to look for such a prize? Alas! and alas! were I to catechise 304 HAKKT LORREQUER. myself too closely, I fear that my horses' heads would face toward Calais, and that 1 should turn my back \ipon the only prospect of happiness I can picture to myself in this world. In reflections such as these, the hours rolled over, and it was already late at night when we reached the little village of Merchem. While fresh horees were being got ready, I seized the occasion to partake of the table d'hote supper of the inn, at the door of which the diligence was drawn up. Around the long, acd not over-scrupulously clean table, sat the usual assemblage of German " Eilwagen" smoking, dressing salad, knitting, and occasionally picking their teeth with their forks, until the soup should make its appearance. Taking my place amid this motley assemblage of mustachioed shopkeepers and voluminously- petticoated fraus, I sat calculating how long human patience could endure such companionship, when my attention was aroused by hearing a person near me narrate to his friend the circumstances of my debut at Strasbourg, with certain marginal notes of his own that not a little surprised me. " And so it turned out not to be Meerberger, after all," said the listener. " Of course not," replied the other. " Meerberger's passport was stolen from him in the diligence by this English escroc, and the con- sequence was, that our poor countryman was arrested, the other pass- port being found upon him, while the Englishman, proceeding to Strasbourg, took his benefit at the opera, and walked away with about twelve thousand florins." " Sappermint," said the other, tossing off his beer. "He must have been a clever fellow, though, to lead the orchestra in the Francs Macons. " " That is the most astonishing part of all; for they say in Stras- bourg that his performance upon the violin was far finer than Paga- nini's; but there seems some secret in it, after all; for Madame Bap- tiste swears that he is Meerberger; and in fact the matter is far from being cleared up nor can it be till he is apprehended." " Which shall not be for sometime to come," said I to myself, as, slipping noiselessly from the room, I regained my " caliche," and in ten minutes more was proceeding on my journey. So much for correct information, thought I. One thing, however, is certain to *Jie ehance interchange of passports I owe my safety, with the addi- tional satisfaction that my little German acquaintance is reaping a pU-asant retribution for all his worry and annoyance of me in the eeupe. Only he who has toiled over the weary miles of a long journey exclusively occupied with one thought one overpowering feeling can adequately commiserate my impatient anxiety as the days roiled slowly over on the long tiresome road that leads from the Rhine to the south, of Germany. The morning was breaking on the fourth day of my journey as the tall spires of Munich rose 1o my view, amid the dull" and arid desert of s::nd that city is placed in. At last! was my exclamation as the postilion tapped at the window with his whip, and then pointed toward the city. At last! Oh! what would be the ecstasy of my feelings now, could I exchange the torturing anxieties of suspense for the glorious certainty my heart throbs for; now my journey is HAHRT L011REQTJER. 305 nearing its end to see me claim as my own what I now barely aspire to in the sanguine hope of a heart that will not despair. But cheer tip, Harry. It is a noble stake you play for, and it is ever the bold gambler that wins. Scarcely was this reflection made, half aloud, when a sudden shock threw me from my seat. I fell toward the door, which, bursting open, launched me out upon the road, at the same moment that the broken axle-tree of the caleche had upset it on the opposite side, carrying one horse along w T ith it, and leaving the other with the postilion on his back, kicking and plunging with all his might. After assisting the frightened fellow to dismount, and having cut the traces of the restive animal, I then perceived that in the meltfe I had not escaped scathless. I could barely stand ; and, on passing my hand upon my instep, perceived I had sprained my ankle in the fall. The day was only breaking, no one was in sight, so that after a few minutes' consideration, the best thing to do appeared to be to get the other horse upon his legs, and dispatching the pos- tilion to Munich, then about three leagues distant, for a carriage, wait patiently on the roadside for his return. No sooner was the re- solve made than carried into execution, and in less than a quarter of an hour from the moment of the accident I was seated upon the bank, watching the retiring figure of the postilion, as he disappeared down a hill, on his way to Munich. When the momentary burst of impatience was over, I could not help congratulating myself that I was so far fortunate in reaching the end of my journey ere the mis- chance befell me. Had it occurred at Stuttgart, I really think that it would have half driven me distracted. I was not long in my present situation till a number of peasants, with broad-brimmed hats, and many-buttoned coats, passed on their way to work; they all saluted me respectfully; but although they saw the broken carriage, and might well guess at the nature of my accident, yet not one ever thought of proffering his services, or even indulging curiosity, by way of inquiry. " How thoroughly Ger- man," thought I; " these people are the Turks of Europe, stupefied with tobacco and ' starkes bier. ' They have no thought for any- thing but themselves, and their own immediate occupations." Per- ceiving at length one whose better dress and more intelligent look bespoke a rank above the common, 1 made the effort with such " platt deutch " as I could muster, to ask if there were any- house near, where I could remain till the postilion's return? and learned, greatly to my gratification, that by taking the path which led through a grove of pine trees near me, I should find a chateau, but who was the proprietor he knew not; indeed the people were only newly come, and he believed were foreigners. English he thought. Oh, how my heart jumped as I said, " Can they be the Callonbys; are they many in the family; are there ladies young ladies, among them?" he knew not. Having hastily arranged with my new friend to watch the carriage till my return, I took the path he showed me, and smarting with pain at every step, hurried along as best I could toward the chateau. I had not walked many minutes, when a break in the wood gave me a view of the old mansion, and at once dispelled the illusion that was momentarily gaining upon me. " They could not be the Callonbys." The house was old; and though it had once been a fine and handsome structure, exhibited now abundant traces 306 HARRY LORREQtTER, of decay; the rich cornices which supported the roof had fallen in many places, and lay in fragments upon the terrace beneath ; the portico of the door was half tumbling; and the architraves of the windows were broken and dismantled, the tall and once richly orna- mented chimneys were bereft of all their tracery, and stood bolt up- right in all their nakedness above the high pitched roof. A strag- gling " jet d'eau "was vigorously fighting its way amid a mass of creeping shrubs and luxuriant lichens that had grown around and above a richly carved fountain, and fell in a shower of sparkling dew upon the rank grass and tall weeds around. The gentle murmur was the only sound that broke the stillness of the morning. A few deities in lead and stone, mutilated and broken, stood like the Genii loci, guarding the desolation about them, where an old, superannuated peacock, with drooping, ragged tail, was the only liv- ing thing to be seen. All bespoke the wreck of what once was great and noble, and all plainly told me that such could not be the abode of the Callonbys. Half doubting that the house was inhabited, and half scrupling, if so, to disturb the inmates from their rest, I sat down upon the ter- race steps and fell into a fit of musing on the objects about. That strange propensity of my countrymen to settle down in remote and unfrequented spots upon the continent had never struck me so for- cibly; for although unquestionably there were evident traces of the former grandeur of the place, yet it was a long past greatness ; and in the dilapidated walls, broken statues, weed-grown walks, and dark and tangled pine grove, there were more hints for sadness than I should willingly surround myself by in a residence. The harsh grating of a heavy door behind roused me. I turned and beheld an old man in a species of tarnished and worm-eaten livery, who, holding the door, again gazed at me with a mingled expression of fear and curiosity. Having briefly explained the circumstances which had befallen me, and appealed to the broken caleche upon the road to corroborate a testimony that I perceived needed such aid, the old man invited me to enter, saying that his master and mistress were not risen, but that he would himself give me some breakfast, of which by ibis time I stood much in want. The room into which I was ushered corre- sponded well with the exterior of the house. It was large, bleak, and ill-furnished; the ample, uncurtained windows; the cold, white paneled walls; the uncarpeted floor; all giving it an air of unin- habited misery. A few chairs of the Louis Quatorze taste, with blue velvet linings, faded and worn, a cracked marble table upon legs that once had been gilt; two scarcely detectable portraits of a mail- clad hero and a scarcely less formidable fair, with a dove upon her wrist, formed the principal articles of furniture in the dismal abode, where so triste and depressing did everything appear, that I half re- gretted the curiosity that had tempted' me from the balmy air and cheerful morning without, to the gloom and solitude arouna me. The old man soon reappeared with a not despicable cup of " Cafe noir," and a piece of bread as large as a teaspoon, and used by the Germans pretty much hi the same way. As the adage of the " gift horse "is of tolerably general acceptation, I eat and was thankful, mingling my acknowledgments from time to time with some ques- tions about the owners of the mansion, concerning whom I could not HARRY LORREQUER. 307 help feeling curious. The ancient servitor, however, knew little or nothing of those he served; his master was the honorable baron; but of his name he was ignorant ; his mistress was young ; they had not been many months there ; they knew no one had no visitors he had heard they were English, but did not know it himself; they were " gute Leute" "good people," and that was enough for him. How strange did all this seem, that two people, young too, should separate themselves from all the attractions and pleasures of the world, and settle down in the dark and dreary solitude, where every association was of melancholy, every object a text for sad re- flections. Lost in these thoughts I sat down beside the window, and heeded not the old man as he noiselessly left the room. My thought* ran over the strange phases in which life presents itself, and how lit- tle, after all external influences have to do with that peace of mjnd whose origin is within. The Indian whose wigwam is beside the cataract heeds not its thunders, nor feels its sprays as they fall in everlasting dews upon him; the Arab of the desert sees no bleaknesi in those never-ending plains, upon whose horizon his eye has rested from childhood to age. Who knows but he who inhabits this lonely dwelling may have once shone in the gay world, mixing in its follies, tasting of its fascination; and to think that now the low murmurs of the pine tops, the gentle rustle of the water through the rank grass, and my own thoughts combining, overcame me at length, and I slept---how long I know not; but when I awoke, certain changes about showed me that souie length of time had elapsed ; a gay wood tire was burning on the hearth; an am pie breakfast covered the table; and the broad sheet of the " Times " newspaper was negligently re- posing in the deep hollow of an arm chair. Before I had well thought how to apologize for the cool insouciance of my intrusion, the door opened, and a tall, well-built man entered; his shooting jacket and gaiters were evidence of his English origin, while a bushy mustache and most ample "Henri Quatre " nearly concealed feat- ures that still were not quite unknown to me; he stopped, looked steadily at me, placed a hand on either shoulder, and calling out, ' Harry Hany Lorrequer, by all that's glorious," rushed from the room iu a transport of laughter. If my escape from the gallows depended upon my guessing my friend, I should have submitted to the last penalty of the law; never was I so completely nonplussed. Confound him, what does he mean by running away in that fashion? It \vould serve him right were I to decamp by one of the windows before he comes back; but hark! some one is approaching. " I tell you I cannot be mistaken," said the man's voice from with- out. " Oh, impossible!" said a lady-like accent that seemed not heard by me for the first time. " Judge for yourself; though certainly the last time you saw him may confuse your memory a little." " What the devil does he mean by that?" said I, as the door opened, and a very beautiful young woman came forward, who, after a moment's hesitation, called out: " True, indeed, it is Mr. Lorrequer, but he seems to have forgot- ten me.". 308 HAREY LORREQUER. The eyes, the lips, the tone of the voice, were all familiar. What! can it be possible? Her companion, who had now entered, stood behind her, holding his sides with ill-suppressed mirth ; and at length called out: "Harry, my boy, you scarcely were more discomposed the last morning we parted, when the yellow plush " " By Jove, it is," said I, as I sprang forward, and seizing my fab- friend in my arms, saluted upon both cheeks my quondam flame, Miss Kamworth, now the wife of my old friend, Jack Waller, of whom I have made due mention in an early chapter of these Con- fessions. Were I given a muster roll of my acquaintances, to say which of them might inhabit this deserted mansion, Jack Waller would cer- tainly have been the last 1 should have selected the gay, lively, dashing, high spirited Jack, fond of society, dress, equipage, living greatly in the world, known to and liked by everybody, of universal reputation. Did you want a cavalier to see your wife through a crush at the opera' a friend in a duel, a rider for your kicking horse in a stiff steeple chase, a bow oar for your boat at a rowing match, Jack was your man. Such, then, was my surprise at finding him here, that although there were many things I longed to inquire about, my first question was: " And how came you here?" "Life has its vicissitudes," replied Jack, laughing; "many stran- ger things have come to pass than my reformation. But first of all, let us think of breakfast ; you shall have ample satisfaction for all your curiosity afterward." " Not now, I fear; I am hurrying on to Munich." "Oh, I perceive; but you are aware that your friends are not there?" " The Callonbys not at Munich!" said 1, with a start. " No; they have been at Saltzburgh, in the Tyrol, for some weeks ; but don't fret yourself, they are expected to-morrow in time for the court masquerade; so that, until then, at least, you are my guest." Overjoyed at this information, I turned my attention toward madame, whom I found much improved ; the embonpoint of woman- hood had still further increased the charms of one who had always been handsome; and I could not help acknowledging that my friend Jack was warrantable in any scheme for securing such a prize. CHAPTER LI. JACK WALLAR'S STORY. THE day passed quickly over with my newly-found friends, whose curiosity to learn my adventures since we parted anticipated me in my wish to learn theirs. After an early dinner, however, with a fresh log upon the hearth, a crusty flask of red hermitage- before us, Jack and 1 found ourselves alone, and at liberty to speak freely to- gether. " I scarcely could have expected such would be our meeting^ Jack," said I, " from the way \ve last parted." HARRY LORREQTJER. 309 " Yes, by Jove, Harry; I believe I behaved but shabbily to you in that affair; but ' Love and War,' you know; and, besides, we had a distinct agreement drawn up between us." " All true; and after all you are perhaps less to blame than my own miserable fortune, that lies in wait to entrap and disappoint me at every turn in life. Tell me, what do you know of the Callonbys?" " Nothing, personally; we have met them at dinner, a visit passed subsequently between us, ' et voilft tout;' they have been scenery hunting, picture hunting, and all that sort of thing since their arrival : and rarely much in Munich ; but how do you stand there, to be or not to be eh?" " That is the very question of all others I would fain solve; and yet am in most complete ignorance of all about it; but the time ap- proaches which must decide all. I have neither temper nor patience for further contemplation of it; so here goes, success to the enter- prise. " " Or," said Jack, tossing off his glass at the moment, " or, as they would say in Ireland, ' Your health and inclinations, it, they be virtuous.' ' " And DOW, Jack, tell me something of your own fortunes since the day you passed me in the post-chaise and four." " The story is soon told, You remember that when 1 carried oft Mary, 1 had no intention of leaving England, whatever; my object was, after making ner my wife, to open negotiations with the old colonel, and after the approved routine of penitential letters implor ing forgiveness, and setting forth happiness, only wanting his sane tion to make it heaven itself, to have thrown ourselves at his feet, ' selon les regies,' sobbed, blubbered, blew our noses and dressed for dinner, very comfortable inmates of that particularly snug residence, 4 Hydrabad Cottage. ' Now Mary, who behaved with great courage for a couple of days, after that got low-spirited and depressed; the desertion of her father, as she called it, weighed upon her mind, and all my endeavors to rally and comfort her, were fruitless and una- vailing. Each day, however, I expected to hear something of or from the colonel, that would put an end to this feeling of suspense; but no: three weeks rolled on, and although I took care that he knew of our address, we never received an}- communication. You are aware that when I married, I knew Mary had, or was to have, a large fortune; and that I myself had not more than enough in the world to pay the common expenses of our wedding tour. My calcu- lation was this: the reconciliation will possibly, what with delays of post, distance, and deliberation, take a month say five weeks; now, at forty pounds per week, that makes exactly two hundred pounds such being the precise limit of my exchequer, when, blessed with a wife, a man and a maid, three imperials, a cap-case, and a poodle, I arrived at the Eoyal Hotel, in Edinburgh. Had I been Lord Francis Egerton, with his hundred thousand a year, looking for a new ' distraction,' at any price; or still more were I a London ^hop- keeper, spending a Sunday in Boulogne sur Mer, and trying to find out something expensive, as lie had only one day to stay, I could not have more industriously sought out opportunities for extravagance, and each day contrived to lind out some two or three acquaintances to bring home to dinner. And as I affected to have been married 310 HAEEY LORREQUEIt for a long time, Mary felt loss gSnee among strangers, and we got on famously; still the silence of the colonel weighed upon her mind, and although she partook of none of my anxieties from that source, being perfectly ignorant of the state of my finances, she dwelt so constantly upon this subject, that I at length yielded to her repeated solicitations and permitted her to write to her father. Her letter was a most proper one; combining a dutiful regret for leaving her home, with the hope that her choice had been such as to excuse her rashness, or at least, palliate her fault. It went on to say, that her father's acknowledgment of her, was all she needed or cared for, to complete her happiness, and asking for his permission to seek it in person. This was the substance of the letter, which upon the whole satisfied me, and I waited anxiously for the reply. At the end of five days the answer arrived. It was thus : " ' DEAR MARY, You have chosen your own path in life, and having done so, I have neither the right nor inclination to interfere with your decision; I shall neither receive you nor the person you have made your husband; and to prevent any further disappoint- ment, inform you that, as I leave this to-morrow, any future letters you might think proper to address, will not reach me. Yours very faithful, C. KAMWORTH." " Hydrabad Cottage." " This was a tremendous coup, and not in the least anticipated by either of us; upon me the effect was stunning, knowing as I did, that our fast diminishing finances were nearly expended. Mary, on the other hand, who neither knew nor thought of the exchequer, rallied at once from her depression, and after a hearty fit of crying, dried her eyes and putting her arms round my neck, said : " ' Well, Jack, I must only love you the more, since papa will not share any of my affection. ' " ' I wish he would his purse, though,' muttered I, as I pressed her in my arms, and strove to seem perfectly happy. " I shall not prolong my story by dwelling upon the agitation this letter cost me; however, I had yet a hundred pounds left, and an aunt in Harley-street, with whom I had always been a favorite. This thought, the only rallying one I possessed, saved me for the time ; and as fretting was never my forte, I never let Mary perceive that anything had gone wrong, and managed so well in this respect, that my good spirits raised hers, and we set out for London one fine sun- shiny morning, as happy a looking couple as ever traveled the north road. " When we arrived at the ' Clarendon,' my first care was to get into a cab, and drive to Harley-street. I rung the bell; and not waiting to ask if my aunt was at home, I dashed up-stairs to the drawing-room ; in I bolted, and instead of the precise old Lady Lil- ford sitting at her embroidery, with her fat poodle beside her, beheld a strapping looking fellow, with a black mustache, making fierce love to a young lady on a sofa beside him. " ' Why, how is this I really there must be some mistake here.' In my heart I knew that such doings in my good aunt's dwelling were impossible. HARRY LORREQUER. 311 "'I should suspect there is,' drawled out he of the mustache, as he took a very cool survey of me through his glass. " ' Is Lady Lilford at home, may I ask,' said I, in a very apologetic tone of voice. " ' I haven't the honor of her ladyship's acquaintance,' replied he in a lisp, evidently enjoying my perplexity, which was every moment becoming more evident. " ' But this is her house,' said I, ' at least ' " ' Lady Lilford is at Paris, sir,' said the young lady, who now spoke for the first time. ' Papa has taken the house for the season, and that may perhaps account for your mistake. ' " What I muttered by way of apology for my intrusion, I know not; but I stammered the j r oung lady blushed the beau chuckled and turned to the window, and when I found myself in the street, I scarcely knew whether to laugh at my blunder, or curse my disap- pointment. " The next morning I called upon my aunt's lawyer, and having obtained her address in Paris, sauntered to the ' Junior Club, ' to write her a letter before post hour. As I scanned over the morning papers, I could not help smiling at the flaming^>aragraph which announced my marriage to the only daughter and heiress of the mil- lionaire, Colonel Kamworth. Not well knowing how to open the correspondence with my worthy relative, I folded the paper contain- ing the news, and addressed it to ' Lady Lilford, Hotel de Bristol, Paris." " When I arrived at the 'Clarendon,' I found my wife and her maid surrounded by cases and bandboxes, laces, satins and velvets were displayed on all sides, while an emissary from ' Storr & Morti- mer' was arranging a grand review of jewelry on a side table; one half of which would have ruined the Rajah of Mysore to purchase. My advice was immediately called into requisition; and pressed into service, I had nothing left for it but to canvass, criticize, and praise, between times, which I did with a good grace, considering that I anticipated the ' Fleet' for eveiy flounce of Valenciennes lace; and could not help associating a rich diamond aigrette, with hard labor for life, and the climate of New South Wales. The utter abstraction I was in led to some awkward contretemps; and as my wife's enthu- siasm for the purchases increased, so did my reverie gain ground. " 'Is it not beautiful, Jack how delicately worked it must have taken a long time to do it!' " ' Seven years,' I muttered, as my thoughts ran upon a very different topic. " ' Oh, no not so much,' said she, laughing; ' and it must be such a hard thing to do. ' ' Not half so hard as carding wool, or pounding oyster shells.' " ' How absurd you are. Well, I'll take this, it will look so well in ' 1 ' Botany Bay, ' said I, with a sigh, that set all the party laughing, which at last roused me, and enabled me to join in the joke. " As, at length, one half of the room became filled with millinery and the other glittered with jewels and bijouterie, my wife grew weary with her exertions, and we found ourselves alone. " When I told her that my aunt hud taken up her residence in. 312 HARRY LORREQUER. Paris, it immediately occurred to her how pleasant it would be to go there, too; and, although I concurred in the opinion for very differ- ent reasons, it was at length decided we should do so; and the only difficulty now exited as to the means, for though the daily papers ttvm with ' four ways to go from London to Paris,' they all resolved themselves into one, and that one, unfortunately to me, the most difficult and impracticable by money. " There was, however, one last resource open the sale of my commission. I will not dwell upon what it cost me to resolve upon this the determination was a painful one, but it was soon come to, and before five o'clock that day, Cox & Greenwood had got their in- structions to sell out for me, and had advanced a thousand pounds of the purchase. Our bill settled the waiters bowing to the ground (it is your ruined man that is always most liberal), the post-horses harnessed, and impatient for the road, I took my place beside my wife, while my valet held a parasol over the soubrette in the rumble, all in the approved fashion of those who have an unlimited credit with Coutts & Drummond; the whips cracked, the leaders capered, and with a patronizing bow to the proprietor of the ' Clarendon, ' away we rattled to Dover. " After the usual routine of sea-sickness, fatigue, and poisonous cookery, we reached Paris on the fifth day, and put up at the ' Hotel de Londres, ' Place Vendome. ' " To have an adequate idea of the state of my feelings as I trod the splendid apartments of this princely hotel, surrounded by every luxury that wealth can procure or taste suggest, you must imagine the condition of a man who is regaled with a sumptuous banquet on the eve of his execution. The inevitable termination to all my pres- ent splendor was never for a moment absent from my thoughts, and the secrecy with which I was obliged to conceal my feelings formed one of the greatest sources of my misery. The coup, when it does come, will be sad enough; and poor Mary may as well have the com- fort of the deception, as long as it lasts, without suffering as I do. Such was the reasoning by which I met every resolve to break to her the real state of our finances, and such the frame of mind in which I spent my days at Paris, the only really unhappy ones I can ever charge my memory with. " We had scarcely got settled in the hotel when my aunt, who in- habited the opposite side of the 'Place,' came over to see us and wish us joy. She had seen the paragraph in the Pout, and like all other people with plenty of money, fully approved a match like mine. " She was delighted with Mary, and despite the natural reserve of the old maiden lady, became actually cordial, and invited us to dine with her that day, and every succeeding one we might, feel disposed to do so. So far so well, thought I, as I offered her my aim to see her home; but if she knew of what value even this small attention is to us, am I quite so sure she would offer it? However, no time is to be lost. I cannot live in this state of hourly agitation; I must make some one the confidant of my sorrows, and none so fit as she, who can relieve as well as advise upon them. Although such was my determination, yet somehow I could not pluck up courage for the effort. My aunt's congratulations upon my good luck made me Shrink from the avowal; and while she ran on upon the beauty an<) HARRY LORREQUER. 313 grace of my wife, topics I fully concurred in, I almost chimed in with her satisfaction at the prudential and proper motives which led to the match. Twenty times I was on the eve of interrupting Lcr and saying, ' But, mad'am, I am a beggar my wife has not a shilling I have absolutely nothing her father disowns us my commis- sion is sold, and in three weeks the " Hotel de Londres " and the " Palais Royal " will be some hundred pounds tlie richer, and 1 with- out the fare of a cab to drive me to the Seine to drown myself.' " Such were my thoughts; but whenever 1 endeavored to speak them, some confounded fullness in my throat nearly choked me; my temples throbbed, my hands trembled, and whether it was shame 01 the sickness of despair, I cannot say; but the words would not come, and all that I could get out was some flattery of my wife's beauty, or some vapid eulogy upon my own cleverness in securing such a prize. To give you in one brief sentence an idea of my state, Harry know then, that though loving Mary with all my heart and soul, as I felt she deserved to be loved, fifty times a day, I would have given my life itself that you had been the successful man, on the morning I carried her off, and that Jack Waller was once more a bachelor, to see the only woman he ever loved, the wife of another. " But this is growing tedious, Harry, I must get over the ground faster; two months passed over at Paris, diiring which we continued to live at the ' Londres,' giving dinners, soirees, dejeuners, with the prettiest equipage in the ' Champs Elysees;' we were quite the mode; my wife, which is rare enough for an Englishwoman, knew how to dress herself. Our evening parties were the most recherche things going, and if I were capable of partaking of anj r pleasure in the eclat, I had my share, having won all the pigeon matches in the Bois de Boulogne,' and beaten Lord Henry Seymour himself in a steeeple chase. The continual round of occupation in which pleasure in- volves a man, is certainly its greatest attraction reflection is impos- sible the present is too full to admit any of the past, and very little of the future; and even I, with all my terrors awaiting me, began to feel a half indifference to the result in the manifold cares of my then existence. To this state of fatalism, for such it w r as becoming, had I arrived, when the vision was dispelled in a moment, by a visit from my aunt, who came to say that, some business requiring her im- mediate presence in London, she w r as to set out that evening, but hoped to find us in Paris on her return. I was thunderstruck at the news, for, although as yet I had obtained no manner of assistance from the old lady, yet I felt that her very presence was a kind of security to us, and that in every sudden emergency she was there to apply to. My money was nearly expended, the second and last installment of my commission was all that remained, and much of even that I owed to trades-people. I now resolved to speak out the worst must be known, thought I, in a few days and now or never be it. So saying, I drew my aunt's arm within my own, and telling her that I wished a few minutes' conversation alone, led her to one of the less frequented walks in the Tuileries gardens. When we had got sufficiently far to be removed from all listeners, I began then ' My dearest aunt, what I have suffered in concealing from j'ou so long the subject of my present confession, will plead as my excuse in not making you sooner my confidante. ' When I had got thus far 314 HARRY LORREQUER. the agitation of my aunt was such, that I could not venture to say more i'or a minute or two. At length, she said, in a kind of hurried whisper, ' Go on;' and although then I would have given all I pos- sessed in the world to have continued, I could not speak a word. " ' Dear John, what is it? anything about Mary for heaven's sake, speak.' " ' Yes, dearest aunt, it is about Mary, and entirely about Mary.' " ' Ah, dear me, I feared it long since; but then, John, consider she is very handsome very much admired and ' " ' That makes it all the heavier, my dear aunt the prouder her present position, the more severely will she feel the reverse. ' " ' Oh, but surely, John, your fears must exaggerate the danger.' " ' Nothing of the kind I have not words to tell you ' " ' Oh dear, oh dear, don't say so,' said the old lady, blushing, ' for though I have often remarked a kind of gay flirting manner she has with men I am sure she means nothing by it she is so young " I stopped, stepped forward, and looking straight in my aunt's face, broke out into a fit of laughter, that she, mistaking for hyster- ical from its violence, nearly fainted upon the spot. " As soon as I could sufficiently recover gravity to explain to my aunt her mistake, I endeavored to do so, but so ludicrous was the contretemps, and so ashamed the old lady for her gratuitous suspi- cions, that she would not listen to a word, and begged me to return to her hotel. Such an unexpected turn to my communication routed all my plans, and after a very awkward silence of some minutes on both sides, I mumbled something about our expensive habits of life, costly equipage, number of horses, etc., and hinted at the propriety of retrenchment. ' ' Mary rides beautifully, ' said my aunt, dryly. " ' Yes; but, my dear aunt, it was not exactly of that I was going to speak; for in fact ' " ' Oh, John,' said she, interrupting, ' I know your delicacy too well to suspect; but, in fact, I have myself perceived what you allude to, and wished very much to have some conversation with you on the subject. ' " ' Thank God,' said I to myself, ' at length we understand each other; and the ice is broken at last. ' " ' Indeed, I think I have anticipated your wish in the matter; but as time presses, and I must look after all my packing, I shall say good-by for a few weeks, and in the evening, Jepson, who stays here, will bring you what I mean," over to your hotel; once more, then, good-by. * " ' Good-by, my dearest, kindest friend ' said I, taking a most tender adieu of the old lady. ' What an excellent creature she is,' said I, half aloud, as I turned toward home; ' how considerate, how truly kind, to spare me, too, all the pain of explanation. Now I begin to breathe once more. If there be a flask of Johannisberg in the " Lundres," I'll drink your health this day, and so shall Mary;' so saying, I entered the hotel with a lighter heart, and a firmer step than ever it had been my fortune to do hitherto. ' We shall miss the old lady, I'm sure, Mary, she is so kind.' " ' Oh! indeed she is; but then, John, she is such a prude.' HARRY LOHUEQUEH. 315 " Now i could not help recurring in my mind to some of the con- versation in the Tuileries garden, and did not feel exactly at ease. " ' Such a prude, and so very old-fashioned in her notions.' " ' Yes, Mary/ said I, with more gravity than she was prepared for, ' she is a prude; but I am not certain that in foreign society, where less liberties are tolerated than in our country, if such a bear- ing be not wiser. ' What I was going to plunge into, heaven knows, for the waiter entered at the moment, and presenting me with a large and carefully sealed package, said, ' de la part de mi ladi Lilfore,' ' but stay, here comes, if 1 am not mistaken, a better eulogy upon my dear aunt, than any I can pronounce.' " ' How heavy it is,' said I to myself, balancing the parcel in my hand. ' There is no answer,' said I, aloud, to the waiter, who stood as if expecting one. " ' The servant wishes to have some acknowledgment in writing, sir, that it has been delivered into your own hands. ' " ' Send him here, then,' said I. " Jepson entered; ' Well, George, your parcel is all right, and here is a Napoleon to drink my health. ' " Scarcely had the servants left the room, when Mary, whose curi- osity was fully roused, rushed over, and tried to get the packet from me; after a short struggle I yielded, and she flew to the end of the room, and tearing open the seals, several papers fell to the ground; before I could have time to snatch them up she had read some lines written on the envelope, and turning toward me, threw her arms around my neck, and said ' Yes, Jack, she is, indeed, all you have said; look here;' I turned and read with what feeling I leave you to guess the following: " ' DEAR NEPHEW AND NIECE, The inclosed will convey to you, with my warmest wishes for your happiness, a ticket on the Franc- fort Lottery, of which I inclose the scheme. I also take the oppor- tunity of saying that I have purchased the Hungarian pony for Mary which we spoke of this morning. It is at Johnson's stable, and will be delivered on sending for it. " 'Think of that, Jack, the Borghese pony, with the silky tail, mine! Oh! what a dear good old soul; it was the very thing of all others I longed for, for they told me the princess had refused every offer for it. ' " While Mary ran on in this strain, I sat mute and stupefied; the sudden reverse my hopes had sustained, deprived me, for a moir.cnt, of all thought, and it was several minutes before I could rightly take in the full extent of my misfortunes. " How that crazy old maid, for such, alas, I called her to myself now, could have so blundered all my meaning how she could so palpably have mistaken, I could not conceive; what a remedy for a man overwhelmed with debt a ticket in a German lottery, and a cream-colored pony, as if my whole life had not been one continued lottery, with every day a blank; and as to horses, I had eleven in my stable already. Perhaps she thought twelve would read better in my schedule, when I, next week, surrendered as insolvent. " Unable to bear the delight, the childish delight of Mary, on her 316 HARRY LORREQtJER. new acquisition, I rushed out of the house, and wandered for several hours in the Boulevards. At last I summoned up courage to tell my wife. I once more turned toward home, and entered her dressing- room, where she was having her hair dressed for a ball at the Em- bassy. My resolution failed me not now, thought I to-morrow will do as well; one night more of happiness for her, and then I looked on with pleasure and pride, as ornament after ornament, brill- iant with diamonds and emeralds, shone in her hair, and upon her arms, still heightening her beauty, and lighting up with a dazzling brilliancy her lovely figure. But it must come and whenever the hour arrives the reverse will be fully as bitter; besides, I am able now and when I may again be so, who can tell? now, then, be it, said I, as I told the waiting-maid to retire; and taking a chair beside my wife, put my arm around her. " ' There, John, dearest, take care; don't you see you'll crush all that great affair of Malines lace that Rosetta has been breaking her heart to manage this half hour. ' " ' Et puis,' said I. " ' Et puis, I could not go to the ball, naughty boy. I am bent on great conquest to-night; so pray don't mar such good intentions.' ' ' And you should be greatly disappointed were you not to go?' " ' Of course I should; but what do you mean; is there any reason why I should not? You are silent, John speak oh, speak has anything occurred to my ' " ' No, no, dearest nothing that I know has occurred to the Colonel.' ' Well, then, who is it? Oh, tell me at once.' ' ' Oh, my dear, there's no one in the case but ourselves;' so say- ing, despite the injunction about the lace, I drew her toward me, and in as few words, but as clearly as I was able, explained all our circumstances my endeavor to better them my hopes my fears and now my bitter disappointment, if not despair. " The first shock over, Mary showed not only more courage, but more sound sense that I could have believed. All the frivolity of her former character vanished at the first touch of adversity; just as of old, Harry, we left the tinsel of our gay jackets behind, "wlien active service called upon us for something more sterling. She advised, counseled, and encouraged me by turns; and in half an hour the most poignant regret I had was in not having sooner made her my confidante and checked the progress of our enormous expenditure somewhat earlier. " I shall not detain you much longer. In three weeks we 30id our carnages and horses; our pictures (we had begun this among other extravagances), and our china followed; and under the pica of health set out for Baden; not one amona: our Paris acquaintances ever sus- pecting the real reason of our (kparture, and never attributing any monied difficulties to us for we paid our debts. " The same day we left Paris, I dispatched a letter to my aunt, explaining fully all about us, and suggesting that as I had now left the army forever, perhaps she would interest some of her friends and she has powerful ones to do something for me. " After some little loitering on the Rhine, we fixed upon Hesse HARRY LORREQTJER. 317 Cassel for our residence. It was very quiet very cheap. The country around picturesque, and last but not least, there was not an Englishman in the neighborhood. The second week after our arrival, brought us letters from my aunt. She had settled four hundred a year upon us for the present, and sent the first year in advance; promised us a visit as soon as we were ready to receive her; and pledged herself not to forget when an opportunity of serving me should offer. ''- From that moment to this," said Jack, " all has gone well with us. We have, it is true, not many luxuries, but we have no wants, and better still, no debts. The dear old aunt is always making us some little present or other; and somehow I have a kind of feeling that better luck is still in store; but faith, Harry, as long as I have a happy home, and a warm fireside, for a friend when he drops in upon me, I scarcely can say that better luck need be wished for." " There is only one point, Jack, you have not enlightened me upon, how came you here? You are some hundred miles from Hesse, in your present chateau." " Oh! by Jove, that was a great omission in my narrative; but come, this will explain it; see here:" so saying, he drew from a little drawer a large lithographic print of a magnificent castellated building, with towers and bastions, keep, moat, and even draw- bridge, and the walls bristling with cannon, and an eagled banner floating proudly above them. " What in the name of the Sphynxes is this?" " There," said Jack, " is the Schloss von Eberhausen; or if you like it in English, Eberhausen Castle, as it was in the year of the deluge ; for the present mansion that we are now sipping our wine in bears no very close resemblance to it. But to make the mystery clear, this was the great prize in the Frankfort lottery, the ticket of which my aunt's first note contained, and which we were fortunate enough to win. We have only been here a few weeks, and though the affair looks somewhat meager, we have hopes that in a little time, and with some pains, rmich may be done to make it habitable. There is a capital chasse of some hundred acres, plenty of wood and innumer- able rights, seignorial, manorial. &c., which, fortunately for my neighbors, I neither understand nor care for; and we are, therefore, the best friends in the world. Among others I am styled the graf or count " " Well, then, Monsieur Le Comte, do you intend favoring me with your company at coffee this evening? for already it is ten o'clock ; and considering my former claim upon Mr. Lorrequer, you have let me enjoy very little of his- society." We now adjourned to the drawing-room, where we gossiped away till past midnight; and I retired to iny room, meditating over Jack's adventures, and praying in my heart, that despite all his mischances, my own might end as happily. 318 HAEliY LOliliEQUEH. CHAPTER LIL MUNICH. THE rest and quietness of the preceding day had so far recovered me from the effects of my accident that I resolved, as soon as break- fast was over, to take my leave of my kind friends and set out for Munich. "We shall meet to-night, Harry." said Waller, as we parted " we shall meet at the Casino and don't forget that the Croix Blanche is your hotel; and Schnetz, the tailor in the Grand Place, will provide you with everything you need in the way of dress." This latter piece of information was satisfactory, inasmuch us the greater part of my luggage, containing nay uniform, &c., had been left in the French diligence; and as the ball was patronized by the court, I was greatly puzzled how to make my appearance. Bad roads and worse horses made me feel the few leagues I had. to go the most tiresome part of my journey. But, of course, in this feeling impatience had its share. A few hours more, and my fate should be decided; and yet I thought the time would never come. If the Callonbys should not arrive if, again, my evil star be in the ascendant, and any new impediment to our meeting arise but I can- not, will not, think this. Fortune must surely be tired of persecut- ing me by this time, and, even to sustain her old character for fickle- ness, must befriend me now. Ah ! here we are in Munich and this is the Croix Blanche what a dingy old mansion! Beneath a mass- ive porch, supported by heavy stone pillars, stood the stout figure of Andreas Behr, the host. A white napkin, fastened hi one button- hole, and hanging gracefully down beside him a soup-ladle held scepter-wise in his right hand, and the grinding motion of his nether jaw, all showed that he had risen from his table d'hote to welcome the new arrival: and certainly, if noise and uproar might explain the phenomenon, the clatter of my equipage over the pavement might have risen the dead. - While my postilion was endeavoring by mighty efforts, with a heavy stone, to turn the handle of the door, and thus liberate me from my cage, I perceived that the host came forward and said something to him on replying to which, he ceased his endeavors to open the door, and. looked "vacantly about him. Upon this I threw down the sash, and called out: ' I say, is not this the Croix Blanche?" ' Ya," said the man-mountain with the napkin. ' Well, then, .open the door, pray I'm going to stop here." ' Nein." ' No! What do you mean by that? Has not Lord Callonby en- gaged rooms here?" ' Ya." ' Well, then, I am a particular friend of his, and will stay here also." "Nein." HARRY LORREQUER. 319 "What the devil are you at, -with your ya and nein?" said I. " Has your confounded tongue nothing better than a monosyllable to reply with." Whether disliking the tone the controversy was assuming, or re- membering that his dinner waited, I know not, but at these worda my fat friend turned leisurely round, and waddled back into the house; where, in a moment after, I had the pleasure of beholding him at the head of a long table, distributing viands with a very dif- ferent degree of activity from what he displayed hi dialogue. With one vigorous jerk, I dashed open the door, upsetting, at the same time, the poor postilion, who had recommenced his operations on the lock, and, foaming with passion, strode into the " salle 4 manger." Nothing is such an immediate damper to any sudden explosion of temper, as the placid and unconcerned faces of a num- ber of people, who, ignorant of yourself and your peculiar miseries at the moment, seem only to regard you as a madman. This I felt strongly, as, flushed in face and tingling in my fingers, I entered the room. "Take my luggage," said I to a gaping waiter, "and place a chair there; do you hear?" There seemed, I suppose, something in my looks that did not admit of much parley, for the man made room for me at once at the table, and left the room, as if to discharge the other part of my iniunction, without saying a word. As I arranged my napkin before me, I was collecting my energies and my German, as well as I was able, for the attack of the host, which I anticipated, from his recent conduct, must now ensue; but, greatly to my surprise, he sent me my soup without a word, and the dinner went on without any interruption. When the dessert had made its appearance, I beckoned the waiter towaid me, and asked what the landlord meant by his singular re- ception of me. The man shrugged his shoulders, and raised hii eyebrows without speaking, as if to imply, " it's his way." " Well, then, no matter," said I. " Have you sent my luggage up stairs?" " No, sir, there is no room the house is full." " The house full! Confound it this is too provoking. I have most urgent reasons for wishing to stay here. Cannot you make some arrangement see about it, waiter. " I here slipped a Napoleon into the fellow's hand, and hinted that as much more awaited the finale of the negotiation. In about a minute after, I perceived him behind the host's chair, pleading my cause with considerable energy; but to my complete chagrin, I heard the other answer all his eloquence by a loud " Nein," that he grunted out in such a manner as closed the confer- ence. " I cannot succeed, sir," said the man, as he paused behind me: " but don't leave the house till I speak with you again." " What confounded mystery is there in all this," thought I. "Is there anything so suspicious in my look or appearance that the old bear in the fur cap will not even admit me? What can it all mean? One thing I am resolved upon nothing less than force shall remove me." 320 HARRY LOUKEQUER. So saying, I lit my cigar, and in order to give the waiter an oppor- tunity of conferring with me unobserved by his master, walked out into the porch and sat down. In a few minutes he joined me, and after a stealthy look on each side, said: " The Herr Andreas is a hard man to deal with, and when he says a thing, never goes back of it. Now he has been expecting the new English Charge d' Affaires here these last ten days, and has kept the hotel half empty in consequence; and as mi Lor Callonby lias en- gaged the other half, why we have nothing to do; so that when he asked the postilion if you were mi lor, and found that you were not, he determined not to admit you." " But why not have the civility to explain that?" " He seldom speaks, and when he does, only a word or two at a time. He is quite tired with what he has gone through to-day, and will retire veiy early to bed ; and for this reason I have requested you to remain, for as he never ventures up stairs, I will then manage to give you one of the embassador's rooms, which, even if he come, he'll never miss. So that if you keep quiet, and do not attract any particular attention toward you, all will go well." This advice seemed so reasonable, that I determined to follow it, any inconvenience being preferable, provided I could be under the same roof with my beloved Jane ; and from the waiter's account, there seemed no doubt whatever of their arrival that evening. In order, therefore, to follow his injunctions to the letter, I strolled out toward the Place in search of a tailor, and also to deliver a letter from Waller to the chamberlain, to provide me with a card for the ball. Monsieur Schnetz, who was the very pinnacle of politeness, was, nevertheless, in fact, nearly as untractable as my host of the " Cross." All his " sujets " were engaged in preparing a suit for the English Charge d'Affaires, whose trunks had been sent in a wrong direction, and who had dispatched a courier from Frankfort to order a uniform. This second thwarting, and from the same source, so nettled me, that I greatly fear, all my respect for the for- eign office, and those who live thereby, would not have saved them from something most unlike a blessing, had not Monsieur Schnetz saved diplomacy from such a desecration by saying, that if I could content myself with a plain suit, such as civilians wore, he would do his endeavor to accommodate me. " Anything, Monsieur Schnetz dress me like the Pope's Nuncio, or the Mayor of London, if you like, but only enable me to go." Although my reply did not seem to convey a very exalted idea of my taste in costume to the worthy artiste, it at least evinced my anx- iety for the ball ; and running his measure over me, he assured me that the dress he would provide was both well looking and becom- ing; adding, " At nine o'clock, sir, you'll have it, exactly the same size as his Excellency the Charge d'Affaires." " Confound the Charge d'Affaires!" I added, and left the homte. HARRY LORREQUER; 321 CHAPTER LIU. INN AT MUNICH. As I had never been in Munich before, I strolled about the town till dusk. At that time the taste of the present king had not enriched the capital with the innumerable objects of art which render it now second to none in Europe. There were, indeed, then but few attrac- tions, narrow streets, tall, unarchitectural-looking houses, and gloomy, unimpressive churches. Tired of this, I turned toward my inn, wondering in my mind if Antoine had succeeded in procuring me the room, or whether yet I should be obliged to seek my lodging elsewhere. Scarcely had I entered the porch, when 1 found him waiting my arrival, candle in hand. He conducted me at once up the wide oaken stair, then along the gallery, into a large wainscoted, room, with a most capacious bed. A cheerful wood fire burned and crackled away in the grate, the cloth was already spread for supper, (remember it was in Germany), the newspapers of the day were E laced before me, and, in a word, every attention showed that I had jund the true avenue to Antoine's good graces who now stood bow- ing before me, in apparent ecstasy at his own cleverness. " All very well done, Antoine, and now for supper order it your- self for me, I never can find my way in a German ' carte de diner;' and be sure to have a fiacre here at nine, nine precisely." Antoine withdrew, leaving me to my own reflections, which now, if not gloomy, were still of the most anxious kind. Scarcely was the supper placed upon the table, when a tremendous tramping of horses along the street, and loud cracking of whips, an- nounced a new arrival. " Here they are," said I, as, springing up, I upset the soup, and nearly threw the roti into Antoine's face, as he was putting it before me. Down stairs I rushed, through the hall, pushing aside waiters and overturning chambermaids in my course. The carriage was already at the door. Now for a surprise, thought I, as I worked through the crowd in the porch, and reached the door just as the steps were clattered down, and a gentleman began to descend, whom twenty expectant voices, now informed of his identity, welcomed *as tho new Charge d'Affaires. " May all the " "What I wished for his excellency it would not be polite to repeat, nor most discreet even to remember; but, certes; I mounted the stairs with as little good will toward the envoy extraordinary as was con- sistent with due loyalty. AVhen once more in my room, I congratulated myself that now at /east no more " false stars " could occur" the eternal ChargS d'Affaires, of whom I have been hearing since my arrival, cannot come twice he is here now, and I hope I m done with him." The supper some greasincss apart was good; the wine excellent. My spirits were gradually rising, and I paced my room in that 322 HARRY LORREQUER. mingled state of hope and fear, that, amid au its anxieties, has such moments of ecstasy. A new noise without some rabble in the street; hark, it comes nearer I hear the sound of wheels; yes, there go the horses nearer and nearer. Ah, it is dying away again stay yes, yes here it is here they are. The noise and tumult without now increased every instant the heavy trot of six or eight horses shook the very street, and I heard the round, dull, rumbling sound of a heavy carriage, as it drew up at last at the door of the inn. Why it was I knew not, but this time 1 could not stir; my heart beat almost loud enough for me to hear; my temples throbbed, and then a cold and clammy perspiration came over me, and I sank into a chair. Fearing that 1 was about to faint, sick as I was, I felt angry with myself, and tried to rally, but could not, and only at length was roused by hearing that the steps were let down, and shortly after the tread of feet coming along the gallery toward my room. They are coming she is coming, thought I. Now then for my doom! Thero was some noise of voices outside! I listened, for I still felt unable to rise. The talking grew louder; doors were opened and shut; then came a lull; then more slamming of doors, and more talking; then all was still again; and at last I heard the steps of peo- ple as if retiring, and in a few minutes after the carriage door was jammed to, and again the heavy tramp of the horses rattled over the pave. At this instant Antoine entered. " Well, Antoine," said I, in a voice trembling with weakness and agitation, " not them yet?" " It was his Grace the Grand Marechal," said An tome, scarcely needing my question, in the importance of the illustrious visitor who had arrived. "Ah, the Grand Marechal," said I, carelessly; "does he live here?" " Sappennint nein, Mein Herr; but he has just been to pay his re- spects to his Excellency the new Charge d'Affaires." In the name of all patience, I ask, who could endure this? From the hour of my arrival I am haunted by this one image the Charge d'Affaires. For him I have been almost condemned to go houseless, and naked; and now the very most sacred feel ings, of my heart are subject to his influence. I walked up and down in an agony. Another such disappointment, and my brain will turn, thought I, and they may write my epitaph " Died of love and a Chared d'Affaires." " It is time to dress," said the waiter. " I could strangle him with my own hands," muttered I, worked up into a real heat by the excitement of my passion " The Charge " " Say that name again, villain, and I'll blow your brains out," cried I, seizing Antoine by the throat, and pinning him against the wall; "only dare to mutter it, and you'll never breathe another syllable." The poor fellow grew green with terror, and fell ut>on his knees before ma HARRY LORREQUER. 333 *' Get my dressing things ready," said I, in a more subcmed tone. " I did not mean to terrify you but beware of what I told you." While Antoine occupied himself with the preparations for my toilet I sat broodingly over the wood embers, thinking of my fate. A knock came to the door. It was the tailor's servant with my clothes. He laid down the parcel and retired, while Antoine pro- ceeded to open it, and exhibit before me a blue uniform with em- broidered collar and cuffs the whole, without being gaudy, being sufficiently handsome, and quite as showy as I could wish. The poor waiter expressed his unqualified approval of the costume, and talked away about the approaching ball as something pre-emi- nently magnificent. " You had better look after the fiacre, Antoine," said I; " it is past nine." He walked toward the door, opened it, and then, turning round, said, in a kind of low, confidential whisper, pointing with the thumb of his left hand toward the wall of the room as he spoke. " He won't go; very strange that." " Who do you mean?" said I, quite unconscious of the allusion. " The Charge d'Aff " I made one spring at him, but he slammed the door to, and before 1 could reach the lobby I heard him rolling from top to bottom of the oak staircase, making noise enough in his fall, to account for the fracture of every bone in his body. CHAPTER LIV. THE BALL. As I was informed that the king would himself be present at the ball, I knew that German etiquette required that the company should arrive before his majesty ; and although now and every minute I ex- pected the arrival of the Callonbys, 1 dared not defer my departure any longer. " They are certain to be at the ball," said Waller, and that sen. tence never left my mind. So saying, I jumped into the fiacre, and in a few minutes found myself in the long line of carriages that led to the " Hof saal." Any one who has bedn in Munich will testify with me, that the ball-room is one of the most beautiful in Europe, and to me, who for some time had not been living much in the world, its splendor was posi tively dazzling. The glare of the chandeliers the clan of the music the magnificence of the dresses the beauty of the Bavarian Avomen, too, all surprised and amazed me. There were several hun- dred people present, but the king not having yet arrived, dancing had not commenced. Feeling as I then did, it was rather a relief to me than otherwise, that I knew no one. There was quite amusement enough in walking through the saloons, observing the strange cos- tumes, and remarking the various groups as they congregated around the trays of ices and the champagne glacee. The buzz of talking and the sounds of laughter and merriment prevailed over even the orchestra; and, as the gay crowds paraded the rooms, all seemed 324 HARRY LORREQUER. pleasure and excitement. Suddenly a tremendous noise was heard without then came a loud roll of the drums, which lasted for sev- eral seconds, and the clank of musketry then a cheer it is the king. The king! resounded on all sides ; and in another moment the large folding-doors at the end of the saal were thrown open, and the mu- sic struck up the national anthem of Bavaria. His majesty entered, accompanied by the queen, his brother, two or three archduchesses, and a long suite of officers. 1 could not help remarking upon the singular good taste with which the assembly all anxious and eager to catch a glimpse of his majesty behaved on this occasion. There was no pressing forward to the " estrade " where he stood no vulgar curiosity evinced by any one, but the group continued, as before, to gather and scatter. The only difference being, that the velvet chair and cushion, which had at- tracted some observers before, were now, that they were tenanted by royalty, passed with a deep and respectful salutation. How proper this, thought I, and what an inducement for a monarch to come among his people, who remember to receive him with such true po- liteness. While these thoughts were passing through my mind, as I was leaning against a pillar that supported the gallery of the orches- tra, a gentleman whose dress, covered with gold and embroidery, bespoke him as belonging to the court, eyed me aside with his lorgnette, and then passed rapidly on. A quadrille was now forming near me, and I was watching, with some interest, the proceeding, when the same figure that I remarked before, approached me, bowing deeply at every step, and shaking a very halo of powder from his hair at each reverence. " May I take the liberty of introducing myself to you?" said he. ' ' Le Comte Benningsen. ' ' Here he bowed again, and I returned the obeisance still deeper. " Regretted much that I was not fortunate enough to make your acquaintance this evening, when I called upon you." " Never heard of that," said I to myself. " Your excellency arrived this evening?" " Yes," said 1, " only a few hours since." " How fond these Germans are of titles," thought I. Remember- ing that in Vienna every one is " his grace," I thought it might be Bavarian politeness to call every one " his excellency." " You have not been presented, I believe?" " No," said 1, " but hope to make an early opportunity of paying ' mes hommages ' to his majesty." " I have just received his orders to present you now," replied he, with another bow. ' ' The devil you have, ' ' thought I. " How very civil that. ' ' And, although I had heard innumerable anecdotes of the free-and-easy habits of the Bavarian court, this certainly surprised me, so that I actually, to prevent a blunder, said, " Anil to understand you, Mon- sieur le Compte, that his majesty was graciously pleased " " If you will follow me," replied the courtier, motioning with his chapeau; and in another moment I was elbowing my way through the mob of marquises and duchesses, on my way to the raised plat- form where the king was standing. " Heaven grant I have not misunderstood all he has been saying," HARRY LORREQUER. 325 was my last thought as the crowd of courtiers fell back on either side, and I found myself bowing before his majesty. How the grand mareschal entitled me I heard not; but when the king ad- dressed me immediately in English, saying: " I hope your excellency has had a good journey?" I felt, " Come, there is no mistake here, Harry; and it is only an- other freak of fortune, who is now in good humor with you." The king, who was a line, tall, well-built man, with a large, bushy mustache, possessed, though not handsome, a most pleasing expres- sion ; his utterance was veiy rapid, and his English none of the best ; so that it was with the greatest difficulty I contrived to follow his questions, which came thick as hail upon me. After some common-places about the roads, the weather, and the season, his majesty said : ' ' My Lord Callonby has been residing some time here. You know him?" And then not waiting for a reply, added, " pleasant person well-informed like him much, and his daughters too, how hand- some they are. " Here I blushed, and felt most awkwardly, while the king continued : " Hope they will remain some time quite an ornament to our court. Monsieur le Compte, his excellency will dance." I here muttered an apology about my sprained ankle, and the king turned to converse with some of the ladies of the court. His majesty's notice brought several persons now around me, who introduced them- selves; and, in a quarter of an hour, I felt myself surrounded by ac- quintances each vicing with the other in showing me attention. Worse places than Munich, Master Harry, thought I, as I chaperoned a fat duchess, with fourteen quarterings, toward the refreshment-room, and had just accepted invitations enough to oc- cupy me three weeks in advance. " I have been looking everywhere for your excellency," said the grand mareschal, bustling his way to me, breathless and panting. " His majesty desires you will make one of his party at whist, so pray come at once." " Figaro, qua, Figaro la," muttered I. " Never was man in such request. God grant the whole royal family of Bavaria be not mad, for this 1 ooks very like it. Lady Jane had better look sharp, for I have only to throw my eyes on an archduchess, to be king of the Tyrol some fine morning." "You play whist, of course; every Englishman does," said the king; " you shall be my partner." Our adversaries were the Prince Maximilian, brother to his majesty, and the Prussian embassador. As I sat down at the table, I could not help saying in my heart, " Now is your time, Harry, if my Lord Callonby should see you, your fortune is made." Waller passed at this moment, and as he saluted the king, I saw him actually start with amazement as he beheld me " Better fun this than figuring in the yellow plush, Master Jack," I muttered as he passed on, actually thunderstruck with amazement. But the game was begun, and I was obliged to be attentive. We won the first game, and the king was in immense good-humor as he took some franc pieces from the Prussian minister, who, small as the stake was, seemed not to relish losing. His majesty now complimented me upon my play, and was 326 HARRY LORREQUER. about to add something when he perceived some one in the crowd, and sent an aid-de-camp for him. "Ah, my lord, we expected you earlier," and then said some words in too low a tone for me to hear, motioning toward me as ne spoke. If Waller was surprised at seeing me where I was, it was nothing to the effect produced upon the present party, whom I now recognized as Lord Callonby. Respect for the presence we were hi restrained any expression on either side, and a more ludicrous tab- leau than we presented can scarcely be conceived. What I would have given that the whist party was over, I need not say, and cer- tainly his majesty's eulogy upon my play came too soon, for I was now so " destrait and unhinged," my eyes wandering from the table to see if Lady Jane was near, that I lost every trick, and finished by revoking. The king rose half pettishly, observing that " Son Ex- cellence a apparement perdu la tete," and I rushed forward to shake hands with Lord Callonby, totally forgetting the royal censure in my delight at discovering my friend. "Lorrequer, I am indeed rejoiced to see you, and when did you arrive?" " This evening." " This evening 1 and how the deuce have you contrived already, eh? Why, you seem quite chez vous here!" "You shall hear all," said I, hastily; "but is Lady Callonby here?" " No; Kilkee only is with me; there he is figuranting away in a galop. The ladies were too tired to come, paticularly as they dine at court to-morrow, the fatigue would be rather much." " I have his Majesty's orders to invite your Excellency to dinner to-morrow," said the grand mareschal coming up at this instant. I bowed my acknowledgments, and turned again to Lord Callonby, whose surprise now seemed to have reached its climax. " Why, Lorrequer, I never heard of this! When did you adopt this new career?" Not understanding the gist of the question, and conceiving that it applied to my success at court, I answered at ran- dom, something about " falling upon my legs, good luck," &c., and once more returned to the charge, inquiring most anxiously for Lady Callonby's health. " Ah! she is tolerably well. Jane is the only invalid, but then we hope Italy will restore her." Just at this instant, Kilkee caught ray eye, and rushing over from his place beside his partner, shook me by both hands, saying: " Delighted to see you here, Lorrequer, but as I can't stay now, promise to sup with me to-night at the ' Cross.' ' I accepted, of course, and the next instant he was whirling along hi his waltz, with one of the most lovely German girls I ever saw. Lord Callonby saw my admiration of her, and as it were replying to my gaze, remarked : "Yes, very handsome, indeed, but really Kilkee is going too far with it. I rely upon you very much to reason him out of his folly, and we have all agreed that you have the most influence over him, and are most likely to be listened to patiently." Here was a new character assigned me, the confidential friend and adviser of the family, trusted with a most delicate and important HARRY LORREQUER. 327 secret, likely to bring me into most intimate terms of intercourse with them all, for the "we" of Lord Callonby bespoke a family consultation, in which I was deputed as the negotiator. I at once promised my assistance, saying at the same time, that if Kilkee really was strongly attached, and had also reason to suppose that the lady liked him, it was not exactly fair ; that, in short, if the matter had gone beyond flirtation, any interference of mine would be imprudent, rf not impertinent. Lord Callonby smiled slightly as he replied : " Quite right, Lorrequer, I am just as much against constraint as yourself, if only no great barriers exist; but here, with a difference of religion, country, language, habits, in fact, everything that can create disparity, the thing is not to be thought of." I suspected that his lordship read in my partial defense of Kilkee a slight attempt to prop up my own case, and felt confused and em- barrassed beyond measure at the detection. " Well, we shall have time enough for all this. Now, let us hear something of my old friend Sir Guy. How is he looking?" " I am unfortunately unable to give you any account of him. I left Paris the very day before he was expected to arrive there." " Oh, then, I have all the news myself in that case, for in his let- ter, which I received yesterday, he mentions that we are not to ex- pect him before Tuesday." " Expect him! Is he coming here, then?" "Yes. Why, I thought you were aware of that; he has been long promising to pay us a visit, and at last, by great persuasion, we have succeeded in getting him across the sea, and, indeed, were it not that he was coming, we should have been in Florence before this." A gleam of hope shot through my heart as I said to myself, what can this visit mean? and the moment after 1 felt sick, almost to fainting, as I asked if " my cousin Guy were also expected." " Oh, yes. We shall want him, I should think," said Lord Cal- lonby, with a very peculiar smile. I thought I should have fallen at these few words. Come, Harry, thought I, it is better to learn your fate at once. Now or never; death itself were preferable to this continued suspense. If the blow is to fall, it can scarcely sink me lower than I now feel: so reason- ing, I laid my hand upon Lord Callonby *s arm, and with a face as pale as death, and a voice all inarticulate, said: " My lord, you will pardon, I am sure " "My dear Lorrequer," said his lordship, interrupting me, "for heaven's sake, sit down. How ill you are looking, we must nuise you, my poor fellow." I sank upon a bench the light danced before my eyes the clang of the music sounded like the roar of a waterfall, and I felt a cold perspiration burst over, my face and forehead ; at the same instant, I recognized Kilkee's voice, and without well knowing why, or how, discovered myself in the open air. " Come, you are better now," said Kilkee, "and will be quite well, when you get some supper, and a little of the Tokay his Maj- esty has been good enough to send us." " His Majesty desires to know if his excellency is better," said an aid-de-camp. 328 HARRY LORREQUER. I muttered my most grateful acknowledgments. " One of the court carriages is in waiting for your excellency," said a venerable old gentleman in a tie wig, whom I recognized as the Minister for Foreign Affairs as he added in a lower tone to Lord Callonby, " I fear he has been greatly overworked lately his exer- tions on the subject of the Greek loan are well-known to his Maj- esty." " Indeed," said Lord Callonby, with a start of surprise, " I never heard of that before." If it had not been for that start of amzement, I should have died of terror. It was the only thing that showed me I was not out of my senses, which I now concluded the old gentleman must be, for I never had heard of the Greek loan in my life before. " Farewell, mon cher Colleague," said the venerable minister, as I got into the carriage, wondering, as well I might, what singular band of brotherhood united one of his majesty's th with the Minis- ter for Foreign Affairs of the Court of Bavaria. When I arrived at the White Cross, I found my nerves, usually proof to anything, so shaken and shattered, that, fearing, with the difficult game before me, any mistake, however trivial, inight mar all my fortunes forever, I said a good-night to my friends, and went to bed. CHAPTER LV. A DISCOVERY. " A NOTE for Monsieur," said the waiter, awaking me at the same tune from the soundest sleep and most delightful dream. The billet was thus : " If your excellency does not intend to slumber during the next twenty-four hours, it might be as well to remember that we are wait- ing breakfast. Ever yours, "KlLKEE." " It is true, then, " said I following up the delusion of my dreams : " It is true, I am really domesticated once more with the Callonbys. My suit is prospering, and at length the long-sought, long-hoped for moment is come " ' ' Well, Harry, ' ' said Kilkee, as he dashed open the door. ' ' Well, Harry, how are you? better than last night, I hope?" " Oh yes, considerably. In fact, I can't think what could have been the matter with me; but I felt confoundedly uncomfortable." " You did! Why, man, what can you mean; was it not a joke?" " A joke!" said I, with a start. " Yes, to be sure. I thought it was only the sequel of the other humbug." "The sequel of the other humbug!" Gracious mercy! thought I, getting pale, with horror; is it thus he ventures to designate my attachment to his sister? " Come, come, it's all over now. What the devil could have per- suaded you to push the thing so far?" HARRY LORREQUER. 329 " Really, I am so completely in the dark as to your meaning, that I only get deeper in mystery by my chance replies. What do you mean?" " What do I mean! Why, the affair of last night, of course. All Munich is full of it, and most fortunately for you, the king has taken it all in the most good-humored way, and laughs more than any one else about it." Oh, then, thought I, I must have done or said something last night, during my illness, that 1 can't remember now. " Come, Kilkee, out with it. What happened last night, that has served to amuse the good people of Munich? for, as I am a true man, I forget all you are alluding to." " And don't remember the Greek Loan eh?" "The Greek Loan!" ',' And your Excellency's marked reception by his Majesty? By Jove, though, it was the rarest piece of impudence I ever heard of; hoaxing a crowned head, quizzing one of the Lord's anointed, is unpeu trop fort." " If you really do not wish to render me insane at once, for the love of mercy say, in plain terms, what all this means." " Come, come, I see you are incorrigible; but as breakfast is wait- ing all this time, we shall have your explanations below stairs. ' ' Before I had time for another question, Kilkee passed his a?m within mine, and led me along the corridor, pouring out, the entire time, a whole rhapsody about the practical joke of my late illness, which he was pleased to say would ring from one end of Europe to the other. Lord Callonby was alone in the breakfast -room when we entered, and the moment he perceived me called out : " Eh, Lorrequer, you here still? Why, man, I thought you'd have been over the frontier early this morning." " Indeed, my lord, I am not exactly aware of any urgent reason for so rapid a flight." " You are not! The devil, you are not. Why, you must surely have known his Majesty to be the best-tempered man in his domin- ions, then, or you would never have played off such a ruse, though, I must say, there never was anything better done. Heldersteen, the Minister for Foreign Affairs, is nearly deranged this morning about it it seems that he was the first that fell into the trap ; but seriously speaking, I think it would be better if you got away from this ; the king, it is true, has behaved with the best possible good feeling; but " " My lord, I have a favor to ask, perhaps, indeed, in all likelihood the last I shall ever ask of your lordship, it is this what are you alluding to all this while, and for what especial reason do you sug- gest my immediate departure from Munich?" " Bless my heart and soul you surely cannot mean to carry the thing on any further you never can intend to assume your minis- terial functions by daylight?" " My what? my ministerial functions!" ' ' Oh, no, that were too much even though his Majesty did say that you were the most agreeable diplomate he Ixad met for a long time; " 330 HABRT LORREQUEB. " I, a diplomate!" "You, certainly. Surely you cannot be acting now; why gra- cious mercy, Lorrequer ! can it be possible that you were not doing it by design? do you really not know in what character you appeared last night?" "If in any other than that of Harry Lorrequer, my lord, I pledge my honor, I am ignorant." " Nor the uniform you wore, don't you know what it meant?" " The tailor sent it to my room." "Why, man, by Jove, this will kill me," said Lord Callonby, bursting into a lit of laughter, in which Kilkee, a hitherto silent spectator of our colloquy, joined to such an extent, that I thought he would burst a blood-vessel. " Why, man, you went as the Charge d' Affaires!" " I, the Charge d' Affaires!" " That you did, and a most successful debut you made of it." While shame and confusion covered me from head to foot at the absurd and ridiculous blunder I had been guilty of, the sense of the ridiculous was so strong in me, that I fell upon a sofa and laughed on with the others for full ten minutes. " Your Excellency is, I am rejoiced to find, in good spirits," said Lady Callonby, entering and presenting her hand. " He is so glad to have finished the Greek Loan," said Lady Cath- erine, smiling, with a half-malicious twinkle of the eye. Just at this instant another door opened, and Lady Jane appeared. Luckily for me, the increased mirth of the party, as Lord Callonby informed them of my blunder, prevented their paying any attention to me, for as I half sprung forward toward her, my agitation would have re- vealed to any observer the whole slate of my feelings. I took her hand which she extended to me, without speaking, and bowing deeply over it, raised my head and looked into her eyes, as if to read at one glance my fate, and when I let fall her hand, I would not have exchanged my fortune for a kingdom. " You have heard, Jane, how our friend opened his campaign in Munich last night. " " Oh, I hope, Mr. Lorrequer, they are only quizzing. You surely could not " " Could not! What he could not what he would not do, is be- yond my calculation to make out," said Kilkee, laughing; "any- thing in life, from breaking an axle-tree to hoaxing a king." I turned, as may be imagined, a deaf ear to his allusion, which really frightened me, not knowing how far Kilkee's information might lead, nor how he might feel disposed to use it. Lady Jane turned a half -reproachful glance at me, as if rebuking my folly; but the interest she thus took in me I would not have bartered for the smile of the proudest queen of Christendom. - Breakfast over, Lord Callonby undertook to explain to the court the blunder by which I had unwittingly been betrayed into person- ating the newly-arrived minister, and as the mistake was mure of their causing than my own, my excuses were accepted, and when his lordship returned to the hotel, he brought with him an invita- tion for me to dine at court in my own unaccredited character. By this time I had been carrying on the siege as briskly as circumstances HARRY LORREQUER. 331 permitted ; Lady Callonby being deeply interested in her newly-ar- rived purchases, Lady Catherine being good-natured enough to pre- tend to be so also, left me at intervals many opportunities of speak- ing to Lady Jane. As I feared that such occasions "would not often present them- selves, I determined on making the best use of my time, and at once led the conversation toward the goal I aimed at, by asking, " if Lady Jane had completely forgotten the wild cliffs and rocky coast of Clare, amid the tall mountains and glaciered peaks of the Tyrol?" " Far from it," she replied. " I have a most clear remembrance of bold Mogher and the rolling swell of the blue Atlantic, and long to feel its spray once more upon my cheek; but then, I knew it in childhood your acquaintance with it was of a later date, and con- nected with fewer happy associations." "Fewer happy associations how can you say so? Was it not there the brightest hours of my whole life were passed, was it not there I first met " " Kilkee tells me," said Lady Jane, interrupting me shortly, " that Miss Bingham is extremely pretty." This was turning my flank with a vengeance; so I muttered some- thing about different tastes, &c., and continued, " I understand my worthy cousin Guy had the good fortune to make your acquaintance in Paris." It was now her turn to blush, which she did deeply, and said nothing. " He is expected, I believe, in a few days at Munich," said I, fix- ing my eyes upon her, and endeavoring to read her thoughts; she blushed more deeply, and the blood at my own heart ran cold, as I thought over all I had heard, and I muttered to myself, " She loves iiim." ' ' Mr. Lorrequer, the carriage is waiting, and as we are going to the Gallery this morning, and have much to see, pray let us have your escort." " Oh, I am sure," said Catherine, " his assistance will be consider- able particularly if his knowledge of art only equals his tact in botany. Don't you think so, Jane?" But Jane was gone. They left the room to dress, and I was alone alone with my anx- ious, now half despairing thoughts, crowding and rushing upon my beating brain. She loves him, and I have only CDme to witness her becoming the wife of another. I see it all, too plainly my uncle's arrival Lord Callonby's familiar manner Jane's own confession. All all convince me that my fate is decided. Now then, for one last brief explanation, and I leave Munich, never to see her more. Just as I had so spoken, she entered. Her gloves had been forgotten in the room, and she came in not knowing that I was there. What would I not have given at that moment for the ready-witted assur ance, the easy self-possession, with which I should have made my advances had my heart not been as deeply engaged as I now felt it. Alas ! my courage was gone ; there was too much at stake, and I pre- ferred now that the time was come any suspense, any vacillation, to the dreadful certainty of refusal. These were my first thoughts, as she entered ; how they were fol- lowed, I cannot say. The same evident confusion of my brain. 333 HARRY LOllHEQfER. which I once felt when mounting the breach in a storm-party, now completely beset me; and as then, when death and destruction raged on every side, 1 held on my way regardless of every obstacle, and forgetting all save the goal before me; so did I now. in the intensity of my excitement, disregard everything, save the story of my love, which I poured forth with that fervor which truth only can give. Bui she spoke not her averted head her cold and tremulous hand and half-drawn sigh were all that replied to me, as I waited for that one word upon which hung all my fortune. At length her hand, which 1 scarcely held within my own, was gently withdrawn. She lifted it to her eyes, but still was silent. " Enough," said I, " I seek not to pain you more. The daring ambition that prompted me to love you has met its heaviest retribu- tion. Farewell you, Lady Jane, have nothing to reproach yourself with you never encouraged, you never deceived me. I, and I alone, have been to blame, and mine must be the suffering. Adieu, then, once more, and now forever." She turned slowly round, and as the handkerchief fell from her hand her features were pale as marble I saw that she was en- deavoring to speak, but could not; and at length, as the color came slowly back to her cheek, her lips, moved, and just as I leaned for- ward, with a beating heart, to hear, her sister came running forward, and suddenly checked herself in her career, as she said, laughingly: " Mille pardons Jane, but his excellency must take another occasion to explain the quadruple alliance, for mamma has been waiting in the carriage these ten minutes." I followed them to the door, placed them in the carriage, and was turning again toward the house, when Lady Callonby said: " Oh, Mr. Lorrequer! we count upon you you must not desert us." I muttered something about not feeling well. " And then, perhaps, the Greek loan is engaging your attention," said Catherine; "or, mayhap, some reciprocity treaty is not pros- pering." The malice of this last sally told, for Jane blushed deeply, and I felt overwhelmed with confusion. But pray come the drive will do you good." " Your ladyship will, I am certain, excuse " Just as I had got so far, I caught Lady Jane's eye for the first time since we had left the drawing-room. What I read there I could not for the life of me say ; but, instead of finishing my sentence, I got into the carriage and drove off, very much to the surprise of Lady Callonby, who, never having studied magnetism, knew very little the cause of my sudden recovery. The thrill of hope that shot through my heart succeeding so rapidly the dark gloom of my despairing thoughts, buoyed me up, and while I whispered to myself, " all may not yet be lost," I summoned my \est energies to my aid. Luckily for "me, I was better qualified to tct as cicerone in a gallery than as a guide in a green-house; and with me confidence that knowledge of a subject ever inspires, I rattled away about art and artists, greatly to the edification of Lady Callon- by much to the surprise of Lady Catherine and, better than all, evidently to the satisfaction of her, to win whose praise I would gladly have risked my life. " There," said I as I placed my fair friend before a delicious little madonna of Carlo Dolci " there is, perhaps, the triumph of coloring for the downy softness of that cheek the luscious depth of that blue eye the waving richness of those sunny locks, all is perfect fortunately, so beautiful a head is not a monopoly, for he painted many copies of this picture. " Quite true," said a voice behind, " and mine at Elton is, I think, if anything, better than this." I turned, and beheld my good uncle, Sir Guy, who was standing beside Lady Callonby. While I welcomed my wqrthy relative, I could not help casting a glance around to see if Guy were also there, and not perceiving him, my heart beat freely again. My uncle, it appeared, had just arrived, and lost no time in join- ing us at the gallery. His manner to me was cordial to a degree, and I perceived that, immediately upon being introduced to Lady Jane, he took considerable pains to observe her, and paid her the most marked attention. The first moment I could steal unnoticed, I took the opportunity of asking if Guy were come. That one fact were to me all, and upon the answer to my question, I hung with deep anxiety. " Guy here! no, not yet. The fact is, Harry, my boy, Guy has not got on here as well as I could have wished. Everything had been arranged among us Callonby behaved most handsomely and, as far as regarded myself, I threw no impediment in the way. But, still, I don't know how it was, but Guy did not advance, and the matter now " " Pray, how does it stand? Have you any hopes to put all to rights again?" " Yes, Harry, I think, with your assistance, much may be done." " Oh, count upon me, by all means," said I, with a sneering bit- terness, that my uncle could not have escaped remarking, had his attention not been drawn off by Lady Callonby. What have I done what sin did I meditate before I was born, that I should come into the world branded with failure hi all I attempt? Is it not enough that my cousin, my elder by some months, should be rich, while I am poor honored and titled, while I am unknown and unnoticed? but is he also to be preferred to me in every station in life? Is there no feeling of the heart so sacred that it must not succumb to primogeniture? " What a dear old man Sir Guy is," said Catherine, interrupting my sad reflections, " and how gallant; he is absolutely flirting with Lady Jane." And quite true it was. The old gentleman was paying his devoirs with a studied anxiety to please, that went to my very heart as I wit- nessed it. The remainder of that day to me was a painful and suffer- ing one. My intention of suddenly leaving Munich had been aban- doned, why, I knew not. I felt that I was hoping against hope, and that my stay was only to confirm, by the most " damning proof," Low sure I was fated to disappointment. My reasonings all ended in one point. If she really loved Guy, then my present attention can only be a source of unhappiness to her; if she do not, is there any 334 HARRY LORREQUER. prospect that from the bare fact of my attachment, so proud a fam- ily as the Callonbys will suffer their daughter to make a mere " mar- iage d'inclination?" There was but one answer to this question, and I had at last the courage to make it ; and yet the Callonbys had marked me out for their attentions, and had gone unusally out of their way to inflict in- jury upon me, if all were meant to end io nothing. If I only could bring myself to think that this was a systematic game adopted by them, to lead to the subsequent arrangement with my cousin! if I could but satisfy my doubts on this head What threats of vengeance I muttered, I cannot remember, for I was summoned at that critical moment to attend the party to the palace. The state of excitement I was in was an ill preparative for the rigid etiquette of a court dinner. All passed off, however, happily, and the king, by a most good-natured allusion to the blunder of the night before, set me perfectly at ease on that head. I was placed next to Lady Jane at dinner; and half from wounded pride, half from the momentarily increasing conviction that all was lost, chattered away gayly, without any evidence of a stronger feeling than the mere vicinity of a pretty person is sure to inspire. What success this game was attended with I know not; but the suffering it cost me, I shall never cease to remember. One satisfaction I cer- tainly did experience she was manifestly piqued, and several times turned toward the person on the other side of her, to avoid the tone of indifference in which I discussed matters that were actually wringing my own heart at the moment Yet such was the bitter- ness of my spirit, that I set down this conduct on her part as coquetry ; and quite convinced myself that any slight encouragement she might ever have given my attentions, was only meant to indulge a spirit of vanity, by adding another to the list of her conquests. As the feeling grew upon me, I suppose my manner to her became more palpably cutting, for it ended at last in our discontinuing to speak, and when we retired from the palace, I accompanied her to the carriage in silence, and wished her a cold and distant good night, without any advance to touch her hand at parting and yet that part- ing I had destined for our last. The greater part of that night I spent in writing letters. One was to Jane herself, owning my affection, confessing that even the " rudesse " of my late conduct was the fruit of it, and finally assur- ing her that, failing to win from her any return of my passion, I had resolved never to meet her more. I also wrote a short note to my uncle, thanking him for all he had formerly done in my behalf, but coldly declining for the fulura any assistance upon his' part, resolv- ing that upon my own efforts alone should I now rest my fortunes. To Lord Callonby I wrote at greater length, recapitulating the history of ou early intimacy, and accusing him of encouraging me in expecta- tions which, as he never intended to confirm them, were fated to prove my ruin. More much more I said, which to avow I should gladly shrink from, were it not that I had pledged myself to honesty in these " Confessions," and as the3 r depict Hie bitterness and misery of my spirit, I must plead guilty to them here. In a word, I felt my- eelf injured. I saw no outlet for redicss, and the only consolation open to my wounded pride and crushed affections was to show that HARRY LORREQUER. 335 if I felt myself a victim, at least I was not a dupe. I set about pack- ing up for the journey, whither, I kneAv not. My leave was nearly expired, yet I could not bear the thought of rejoining the regiment. My only desire was to leave Munich, and that speedily. When all my arrangements were completed, I went down noiselessly to the inn yard to order post-horses by day -break; there, to my surprise, I found all activity and bustle. Though so late at night, a courier had arrived from England for Lord Callonby with some important dispatches from the government ; this would, at any other time, have interested me deeply, now I heard the news without a particle of feeling, and I made all the necessary dispositions for my journey without paying the slightest attention to what was going on about me. I had just finished, when Lord Callonby's valet came to say that his lordship wished to see me immediately in his dressing-room. Though I would gladly have declined any further interview, I saw no means of escape, and followed the servant to his lordship's room. There I found Lord Callonby in his dressing-gown and night-cap, surrounded by papers, letters, dispatch-boxes, and red tape-tied parcels, that all bespoke business. " Lorrequer, sit down, my boy, I have much to say to you, and, afl we have no time to lose, you must forego a little sleep. Is the door closed? I have just received most important news from Eng- land, and to begin " " ' MY LORD, They are out at last the majority on Friday in- creased to forty yesterday evening, when they resigned; the Duke has, meanwhile, assumed the reins till further arrangements can be perfected, and dispatches are now preparing to bring all our friends about us. The only rumors as yet are, L , for the Colonies, H , to the Foreign Office, W , President of the Council, and we anxiously hope yourself Viceroy to Ireland. In any case lose no time in coming back to England. The struggle will be a sharp one, as the outs are distracted, and we shall want you much. Ever yours, my dear lord, HENRY . ' " This is much sooner than I looked for, Lorrequer, perhaps almost than I wished; but as it has taken place, we must not decline the battle; now what I wanted with you is this if I go to Ireland, I should like your acceptance of the Private Secretary's Office. Come, come, no objections; you know that you need not leave the army, you can become unattached, I'll arrange all that; apropos, this concerns you, it is from the Horse Guards, you need not read it now though, it is merely your gazette to the company; your promotion, however, shall not stop here; however, the important thing I want with you is this, I wish you to start for England to-morrow; circum- stances prevent my going from this for a few days. You can see L and W , &c., and explain all I have to say; I shall write a few letters, and some hints for your own guidance, and as Kilkee never would have head for these matters, I look to your friendship to do it for me. ' ' Looking only to the past, as the proposal suited my already made resolve to quit Munich, I acceded at once, and assured Lord Callon- by that I should be ready in an hour 336 HARRY LORREQTTER. " Quite right, Lorrequer, but still I shall not need this, you cannot leave before eleven or twelve o'clock; in fact, I have another service to exact at your hands before we part with you; meanwhile, try and get some sleep, you are not likdy to know anything of a bed before you reach the Clarendon." So saying, he hurried me from the room, and as he closed the door I heard him muttering his satis- faction, that already so far all had been well arranged. CHAPTER LVI. CONCLUSION. SLEEP came on me without my feeling it, and, amid all the dis- tracting cares and pressing thoughts that embarrassed me, I only awoke when the roll of the calSche sounded beneath my window and warned me that I must be stirring and ready for the road. Since it is to be thus, thought I, it is much better that this oppor- tunity should occur "of my getting away at once, and thus obviate all the unpleasantness of my future meeting with Lady Jane; and the thousand conjectures that my departure, so sudden and unannounced, might give rise to. So be it, and I have now only one hope more that the terms we last parted on may prevent her appearing at the breakfast table; with these words I entered the room, where the Cal- lonbys were assembled, all save Lady Jane. "This is too provoking, really, Mr. Lorrequer," said Lady Cal- lonby, with her sweetest smile, and most civil manner, " quite too bad to lose you, now that you have just joined us." " Come, no tampering with our party," said Lord Callonby; " my friend here must not be seduced by honeyed words and soft speeches from the high road that leads to honors and distinctions now for your instructions." Here his lordship entered into a very deep discussion as to the conditions upon which his support might be ex- pected and relied upon, which Kilkee from time to time interrupted by certain quizzing allusions to the low price he put upon his serv- ices, and suggested that a mission for myself should certainly enter into the compact. At length breakfast was over, and Lord Callonby said, " Now make your adieux, and let me see you for a moment in Sir Guy's room; we have a little discussion there, in which your assistance is wanting." I accordingly took my farewell of Lady Callonby, and approached to do so to Lady Jane; but much to my surprise, she made me a very distant salute, and said, in her coldest tone, " I hope you may have a pleasant journey." Before I had recovered from my surprise at this movement, Kilkee came forward and offered to accompany me a few miles of the road. I accepted readily the kind offer, and once more bowing to the ladies, withdrew. And thus it is, thought I, that I leave all my long-dreamed-of happiness, and such is the end of many a long day's ardent expectation. When I entered my uncle's room, my temper was certainly not in the mood most fit for further trials, though it was doomed to meet them. " Harry, my boy, we are in great want of you here, and as time presses, we must state our case very briefly. You are aware, Sir HARRY LORREQUER. 337 Guy tells me, that your cousin Guy has been received among us an the suitor of my eldest daughter. It has been an old compact be- tween us to unite our families by ties still stronger than our very ancient friendship, and this match has been accordingly looked to, by us both, with much anxiety. Now, although on our parts, I think no obstacle intervenes, yet I am sorry to say, there appear difficulties in other quarters. In fact, certain stories have reached Lady Jane's ears concerning your cousin, which have greatly prejudiced her against him, and we have reason to think most unfairly; for we have succeeded in tracing some of the offenses hi question, not to Guy, but to a Mr. Morewood, who it seems has personated your cousin upon more than one occasion, and not a little to his disadvantage. Now we wish you to sift these matters to the bottom, by your going to Paris as soon as you can venture to leave London find out this man, and if possible, make all straight; if money is wanting, he must of course have it; but bear one thing in mind, that any possible step which may remove this unhappy impression from my daughter's mind, will be of infinite service, and. never forgotten by us. Kilkee, too, has taken some dislike to Guy. You have only, however, to talk to him on the matter, and he is sure to pay attention to you." " And, Harry," said my uncle, " tell Guy I am much displeased that he is not here; I expected him to leave Paris with me, but some absurd wager at the Jockey Club detained him." " Another thing, Harry, you may as well mention to your cousin, that Sir Guy has complied with every suggestion that he formerly threw out he will understand the allusion." " Oh, yes," said my uncle, " tell him roundly he shall have Elton Hall; I have fitted up Marsden for myself; so no difficulty lies in that quarter." " You may add, if you like, that my present position with the government enables me to offer him a speedy prospect of a regiment, and that I think he had better not leave the army. " " And say that by next post Hamercloth's bond for the six thou- sand shall be paid off, and let him send me a note of any other large sum he owes." " And above all things no more delays. I must leave this for England inevitably, and as the ladies will probably prefer wintering in Italy " " Oh, certainly," said my uncle, " the wedding must take place." " I scarcely can ask you to come to us on the occasion, though I need not say how greatly we should all feel gratified if you could do BO, ' ' said my lord. While this cross fire went on from both sides, I looked from one to the other of the speakers. My first impression being, that, having perceived and disliked my attention to Lady Jane, they adopted this " mauvaise plaisanterie " as a kind of smart lesson for my guidance. My next impression was that they were really in earnest, but about the very stupidest pair of old gentlemen that ever wore hair powder. " And this is all," said I, drawing a long breath and inwardly uttering a short prayer for patience. " Why, I believe I have mentioned every thing," said Lord Cal- Jonby, ' except that if anything occurs to yourself that offers a pro* 338 HAKRY LORREQTJER. pect of forwarding this affair, we leave you a carte blanche to adopt it." " Of course, then," said I, " I am to understand that as no other difficulties lie in the way than those your lordship bas mentioned, the feelings of the parties, their affections, are mutual." " Oh, of course, your cousin, I suppose, has made himself agreea- ble; he is a good-looking fellow, and, in fact, I am not aware why they should not like each other, eh, Sir Guy?" To be sure, and the Elton estates run half the shire with your Gloucester property; never was there a more suitable match." " Then only one point remains, and that being complied with, you may reckon upon my services; nay, more, I promise you success. Lady Jane's owu consent must be previously assured to me; without this, I most positively decline moving a step in the matter; and that once obtained, freely and without constraint, I pledge myself to do all you require." " Quite fair, Harry; I perfectly approve of your scruples;" so say- ing, his lordship rose and left the room. " Well, Harry, and yourself, what is to be done for you; has Cal- lonby offered you anything yet?" " Yes, sir, his lordship has most kindly offered me the under secre- taryship in Ireland, but I have resolved on declining it, though I shall not at present say so, lest he should feel any delicacy in em- ploying me upon the present occasion." Why, is the boy deranged decline it what have you got in the world, that you should refuse such an appointment?" ' The color mounted to my cheeks, my temples burned, and what I should have replied to this taunt, I know not, for passion had com- pletely mastered me. When Lord Callonby again entered the room, his usually calm and pale face was agitated and flushed; and his manner tremulous and hurried; for an instant he was silent, and then turning toward my uncle, he took his hand affectionately, and said: " My good old friend, I am deeply, deeply grieved; but we must abandon this scheme. I have just seen my daughter, and from the few words which we have had together, I find that her dislike to the match is invincible, and, in fact, she has obtained my promise never again to allude to it. If I were willing to constrain the feelings of my child, you yourself would not permit it. Bo here let us forget that we ever hoped for, ever calculated on a plan in which both our hearts were so deeply interested." These words, few as they were, were spoken with deep feeling, and, for the first time, I looked upon the speaker with sincere regard. They were both silent for some minutes; Sir Guy, who was himself much agitated, spoke first: " So be it then, Callonby, and thus do I relinquish one perhaps the only cheering prospect my advanced age held out to me. I have long wished to have your daughter for my niece, and since I have known her the wish has increased tenfold. " " It was the chosen dream of all my anticipations," said Lord Cal- lonby; " and now Jane's affections only But let it pass." " And is there, then, really no remedy; can nothing be struck out?" "Nothing." HARRY LORREQUEE. 339 " I am not quite so sure, my lord," said I, tremulously. " No, no, Lorrequer, you are a ready-witted fellow, I know, but this passes even your ingenuity; besides, I have given her my word." "Even so." " Why, what do you mean? Speak out, man," said Sir Guy. " I'll give you ten thousand pounds on the spot if you'll suggest a means of overcoming this difficulty." " Perhaps you might not accede afterward." " I pledge myself to it." " And I too, said Lord Callonby, " if no unfair stratagem be re- sorted to toward my daughter. If she only give her free and willing consent, I agree." " Then you must bid higher, uncle; ten thousand won't do, for the bargain is well worth the money." " Name your price, boy, and keep your word." " Agreed, then; holding my uncle to his promise, I pledge myself that his nephew shall be the husband of Lady Jane Callonby; and now, my Lord, read Harry, vice Guy, in the contract, and I am certain my uncle is too faithful to his plighted word, and too true to Jiis promise not to say it shall be." The suddenness of this rash declaration absolutely stunned them both, and then, recovering at the same moment, their eyes met. " Fairly caught, Guy," said Lord Callonby, " a bold, stroke, if it only succeeds." " And it shall, by G ," said my uncle. " Elton is yours, Harry; and with seven thousand a year, and my rephew to boot, Callonby won't refuse you." There are moments in life in which conviction will follow a bold " coup de main," that never would have ensued from the slow proc- ess of reasoning. Luckily for me, this was one of those happy intervals. Lord Callonby, catching my uncle's enthusiasm, seized me by the hand, and said: " "With her consent, Lorrequer, you may count upon mine, and, faith, if truth must be told, I always preferred you to the other." What my uncle added, I waited not to listen to; but with one bound sprung from the room dashed up stairs to Lady Callonby's drawing-room looking rapidly round to see if sJie were there, and then, without paying the slightest attention to the questions of Lady Callonby and her youngest daughter, was turning to leave the room, when my eyes caught the flutter of a Cashmere shawl in the garden beneath. In an instant the window was torn open I stood upon the sill, and though the fall was some twenty feet, with one spring I took it, and before the ladies had recovered from their first surprise at my unacouutable conduct, put the finishing stroke to their amazement, by throwing my arms around Lady Jane, and clasping her to my heart. I cannot remember by what process I explained the change that had taken place in my fortunes. I had some very vague recollection of vows of eternal love being mingled with praises of my worthy uncle, and the state of my affections and finances were jumbled up together, but still sufficiently intel'i iblc io satisfy my beloved Jane that, this time, at least, I many love with something more than 840 HARRY LORRKQUER. my own consent to support me. Before we had walked half round the garden, she had promised to he mine; and Harry Lorrequer, who rose that morning with nothing but despair ana darkness before him, was now the happiest of men. Dear reader, I have little more to confess. Lord Callonby's poli- tics were fortunately deemed of more moment than maidenly scru- ples, and the treasury benches more respected than the trousseau. Our wedding was therefore settled for the following week. Mean while every day seemed to teem with its own meed of good foitune. ~M\ good uncle, under whose patronage, forty odd years before, Col- onel Kamworth had obtained his commission, undertook to effect the reconciliation between him and the Wallers, who now only waited for our wedding, before they set out for Hydrabad Cottage, that snug receptacle of Curry and Madeira, Jack confessing that he had rather listen to the siege of Java, by that fireside, than hear an ac- count of Waterloo from the lips of the great duke himself. I wrote to Trevanion to invite him over to Munich for the cere- mony, and the same post which informed me that he was en route to join us, brought also a letter from my eccentric friend O'Leary, whose name having so often occurred in these Confessions, I am tempted to read it aloud, the more so as its contents are no secret, Kilkee having insisted upon reading it to a committee of the whole family assembled after dinner. " DEAR LORREQUER, The trial Is over, and I am acquitted, but still in St. Pelagic; for, as the government were determined to cut my head off if guilty, so the mob resolved to murder me if innocent. A pleasant place this ; before the trial I was the most popular man in Paris; my face was in every print shop; plaster busts of me, with a great organ behind the ear, in all the thoroughfares; my autograph selling at six-and-twenty sous, and a lock of my hair at five francs. Now that it is proved I did not murder the ' minister at war ' (who is in excellent health and spirits), the popular feeling against me is very violent, and I am looked upon an as impostor who obtained his notoriety under false pretenses; and Vernet, who had begun my picture for a Judas, has left off in disgust. Your friend Trevanion is a trump ; he procured a Tipperary gentleman to run away with Mrs. Ram, and they were married at Frankfort, on Tuesday last. By-the-bye, what an escape you had of Emily; she was only quizz- ing you all the time. She is engaged to be married to Tom O 'Fla- herty, who is here now. Emily's imitation of you, with the hat on one side and a handkerchief flourishing away in one hand, is capital ; but when she kneels down and says, ' Dearest Emily,' &c., you'd swear it was yourself." [Here the laughter of the auditory prevented Kilkee's proceeding, who, to my utter confusion, resumed after a little.] " Don't be losing your time making up to Lord Callonby's daughter (here came another burst of laughter) they say here you have not a chance, and, moreover, she's a downright flirt." [" It is your turn now, Jane," said Kilkee, scarcely able to proceed.] " Be- sides that, her father's a pompous old Tory, that won't give a six- pence with her; and the old curmudgeon, your uncle, has as much idea of providing for you as he has of dying." [This last sally abso- lutely convulsed all parties.] " To be sure Kilkee's a fool, but he's no HARRY LORREQUEE. 341 use to you." [" Begad, I thought I was going to escape," said the individual alluded to, " but your friend O'Leary cuts on every side of him."] " The letter, after some very grave reflections upon the hopelessness of my pursuit, concluded with a kind pledge to meet me soon, and become my traveling companion. "Meanwhile," added he, " I must cross over to London and look after my new work, which is to come out soon, under the title of ' The Loiterings of Arthur O'Leary.'" . This elegant epistle formed the subject of much laughter and con- versation amongst us long after it was concluded; and little triumph could be claimed by any party, where nearly all were so roughly handled. So passed the last evening I spent in Munich the next morning I was married. THB KNtX University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 405 Hllgard Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024-1388 Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed.