FLAXIUS 
 
FLAXIUS 
 
 LEAVES FROM THE LIFE OF 
 AN IMMORTAL 
 
 CHARLES GODFREY LELAND 
 
 ;/ 
 
 AUTHOR OF THE BREITMANN BALLADS, ETC. 
 
 LONDON 
 PHILIP WELLBY 
 
 6 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN 
 I9O2 
 
V 
 
 Edinburgh : T. and A. CONSTABLE, (late) Printers to Her Majesty 
 
\ 
 
 FIRST WORDS 
 
 THE raison d etre, cause for existence, and origin of 
 this book, may be found in the following extract 
 from a review of the Florentine Legends, which 
 appeared in the Daily Chronicle of June 19, 1895 : 
 
 Mr. Leland frequently refers throughout his 
 narratives to a certain Flaxius. We were some 
 what puzzled as to whom this Flaxius might be, 
 until we came across the statement that the author 
 had once begun a book entitled, The Experiences 
 of Flaxius the Immortal. The reflections of the 
 Immortal are quoted extensively in this volume, 
 and we can only say we wish the Flaxius project a 
 happy ending, and would not be surprised if the 
 new sage, racy of Italian soil, as he appears to be, 
 should even a little eclipse Mr. Leland s old hero of 
 Lager beer celebrity. 
 
 For which kind word all thanks, and from the 
 heart, since it suggested what had never been 
 seriously thought of; for, in truth, the experiences 
 had no more been written than the books which 
 appear in the catalogue of the library given in the 
 Chronicle of Pantagruel. Now, I have had all my life 
 a strange love for works on varied subjects, in unity 
 
 M223051 
 
vi FLAXIUS 
 
 of style, even as in Mendelssohn s Songs without 
 Words there are many melodies forming one work. 
 Such were the best sketches of Irving, and such was 
 my first original venture, Meister Karl s Sketch-Book, 
 which had the remarkable fortune to attract, most 
 unexpectedly, a very kind letter on it from Washing 
 ton Irving, and subsequently another of seven large 
 closely written pages, critical and laudatory, from 
 Lord Bulwer Lytton, the novelist, who, with all 
 modesty be it said, took several palpable hints from 
 it for his Kenelm Chillingly^ into which he intro 
 duced me under a pseudonym, as a small memento. 
 And it is in this style that the present work is 
 composed of different stories, which, however, make 
 one parure, or, changing the metaphor, of varied 
 dishes in one dinner met. 
 
 I beg the reader to pardon this fond disquisition, 
 but it is natural for an author to think fondly of 
 his first work, as it is for a mother to do the same 
 by her first-born ; and I was the more influenced to 
 do so by its having been in the same genre as the 
 present volume. 
 
 The comparison, made by the reviewer of the 
 Chronicle, between the warrior-bard Hans Breit- 
 mann and his possible rival Flaxius, suggested 
 the idea of making the two meet in this volume, the 
 result of which encounter is two Breitmann ballads, 
 never before published, with others which had indeed 
 appeared casually in another form, but not as yet in 
 any edition of the poems, and which will be assuredly 
 
FIRST WORDS vii 
 
 new to most of my readers. And as these later 
 lays of which I have only given a specimen all 
 turn on marvellous mediaeval legends of magic, I 
 will mention, by way of avant-courier, that I have in 
 manuscript, and have been writing or revising this 
 thirty years, a curious collection of Ballads of Witch 
 craft and Songs of Sorcery -, which I cannot but think 
 would greatly please all lovers of occulta, and which 
 will be published should sign be given that it would 
 be wanted by the public. 
 
 I would end by recording that this work is most 
 kindly and cordially dedicated to certain friends who 
 have greatly aided me at different times in collect 
 ing Italian folk-lore, that is to say, to Miss Roma 
 Lister, who was from the first specially interested in 
 Flaxius, and to Mrs. Tessa Arbuthnot ; whereunto 
 I might add the names of all who have for many 
 years and in many ways shown friendship and 
 cordial kindness of late in sad trials by illness to 
 whom be all thanks. 
 
 CHARLES GODFREY LELAND. 
 
 FLORENCE, June 1902. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY, I 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD, . . 12 
 
 FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT, 28 
 
 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET, . . 3 6 
 
 HOW FLAXIUS MADE THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD . 53 
 
 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS, . . 7 
 
 FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE, ... .83 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE EMPEROR JULIAN, . . 9 1 
 
 FLAXIUS IN HADES, . . IO6 
 
 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDE, . . .126 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF, . . 143 
 
 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN, . . . 163 
 
 FLAXIUS IN INDIA, . .175 
 THE WONDERFUL STORY OF MISS JESABELLE 
 
 ROCKHARD, . . . . . 2OI 
 
x FLAXIUS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE WITH A JURY OF 
 
 TWELVE DEVILS, . . . .242 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER, . .251 
 
 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE, .... 269 
 
 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS, . . .304 
 
 BREITMANN S LAST BALLAD, . . . .318 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 OR, HOW HE BECAME AN IMMORTAL 
 
 This work is a collection of Fables. Sir Roger Lestrange. 
 
 There is no expression of politeness but has its root in the 
 moral nature of man. Goethe. 
 
 There is no policy like politeness, and a good manner is 
 the best thing in the world, either to get a good name or to 
 supply the want of it. Bulwer Lytton. 
 
 Politeness is like Generosity ; nay, I am not sure that it 
 is not Generosity itself. But neither deserves respect unless 
 perfectly innate unaffected and natural. L? Accademia. 
 
 LONG ago, when Time was in its early dawn a 
 prima pneritia, or in its pink infancy Flaxius the 
 Neophyte was also in his youth ; for which reason 
 he and the world got on very well together. He was 
 far from having attained to high magic, though of an 
 eminently respectable old priestly-sorcering family, 
 and of fairy descent, but he had in him those quali 
 ties which in any age advance the man who gets a 
 fair trial. And that we may the better understand 
 what these qualities were, I will narrate the first bud 
 of incident, or rosy adventure, by which it befell that 
 he too rose in life. 
 
 It happened one day that on the annual holiday 
 or festival of Volterra, in the first Etruscan age, lied 
 about by Inghirami, Flaxius saw in the street, 
 among the many in the middle distance, a girl who 
 was, d prima vista, evidently not respectable, or was 
 
 A 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 rather so" fa f froni* it that it might not have been 
 said, habet pudicitiam in propatulo. Yet there was 
 nothing arrogantly offensive in the poor thing ; she 
 seemed to be of that kind whose whole life, like the 
 donkey s, is a sad, mute speech to the effect : If you 
 don t care for me and I m not astonished that you 
 don t then don t speak to me, but pray do not abuse 
 me, for I can t help it indeed I can t. 
 
 This silent-violet eloquence was, however, lost on a 
 group of two or three rude young men and girls who 
 came howling along in high, red-poppy spirits, and 
 who, seeing the poor forlorn creature, proceeded 
 to hoot her in the manner peculiar to the virtuous 
 vulgar of all ages, by hurling at her terms intended to 
 make her feel deeply that she was indeed that which 
 her sad attire proclaimed her to be. 
 
 And out of the way of your betters, O Dirt, and 
 into the dirt ! cried a youth, giving a bump to the 
 Moral Calamity, which sent her reeling, so that she 
 indeed fell in the mud of the street, at which all 
 roared with laughter. 
 
 Now in all the country round there was not a 
 taller or more robust bull of a young man than 
 Flaxius, and seeing this, he gave the Guardian or 
 Vindicator of Morals and Holy Virtue a blow which 
 levelled him likewise in the grey dirt, and with as 
 little difficulty sent the rest flying ; for there was 
 that in his patrician appearance, quite as much as in 
 his iron strength, which inspired fear. He picked up 
 the girl, bade her be of good cheer, and not mind what 
 had happened ; there was something marvellously 
 moving and honey-comforting in his tone of voice, 
 which snatched a grace beyond the reach of skill. 
 
 It is an art little known now to the world, that of 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 3 
 
 the voice trained to woo and win feeling, to inspire 
 awe and emotion by musical tone but it formed a 
 part of cultured magic in early times, and Flaxius 
 was at the head of the class in Enchanting natural 
 elocution and Musical morality. 
 
 . . . And furthermore bestowed on her a silver 
 coin, and was about to depart, when the girl aston 
 ished him by saying, in tones as marked and deeply 
 magical as his own : 
 
 Why did you pity me ? 
 
 Flaxius replied, Because you, doing no one injus 
 tice, were unjustly treated. 
 
 I Do you not see what I am ? 
 
 I 1 see nothing beyond what I behold in all human 
 beings, one cast by fate or chance into a certain life. 
 And few indeed are what they fain would be. 
 
 1 Then you despise no one ? 
 
 I very deeply despise all who make no effort to 
 know or do what is better. I despise all who can 
 only I say only realise their own dignity in the 
 abasement of others. I despise the man who requires 
 to own slaves in order to know that he is free. . . . 
 I feel . . . 
 
 * There are not many who feel as you do/ replied 
 the girl. And this time in the voice Flaxius recog 
 nised that he was indeed speaking to a magia, or 
 one of the initiated in high wisdom. Therefore he 
 was not astonished to see in her eyes a strange and 
 as yet unperceived expression of marvellous intel 
 lect and electric beauty, and note a divine dignity 
 and grace in her carriage. She signed to him to 
 follow her, and he obeyed. 
 
 * No, there are yet few, he answered, * but there 
 will ever be more and more in the ages to come. I 
 
4 FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 would that I could live to see the time when all 
 slavery and social injustice will disappear. But will 
 it ever be ? 
 
 * Who knows, replied his companion. Who 
 knows how long we may live, or how bad or good 
 the world may become, or anything? 
 
 * Do not the gods know? said Flaxius, amazed. 
 Who knows what the gods know? replied the 
 
 magia. They do not even know what they know 
 themselves. 
 
 By this high time the pair had passed as if by 
 enchantment, or in a dream, into a strange moun 
 tain country, unknown to Flaxius. Wilder grew the 
 rocks and road until they came to a marvellous place 
 where the cliffs were like a vast range of rude castles 
 all in one. As they approached, Flaxius saw them 
 change to magnificent ancient structures. Then 
 they entered a golden door, and soon were in a 
 splendidly furnished apartment. The magia was 
 now a being of unearthly beauty, robed in light 
 Before her Flaxius forgot it is to be desired that 
 modern realists would do the same even the trans 
 cendental upholstery. 
 
 Remarkable Young Man, said the beautiful being 
 (pray be it noted by the reader that all the phrases 
 here given are far more poetic in Etruscan), * I 
 have brought you hither on important business. 
 
 At your command, Daughter of the Most Beauti 
 ful/ replied Flaxius. This was a delicate compliment, 
 according to magic, for it was from a high formula 
 of worship, and was therefore tenderly blasphemous 
 in the genitive. The lady smiled subjectively, not 
 with her face, but in her intonation, as she replied 
 in the ablative absolute : 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 5 
 
 Know that I was this day what I was, for being 
 what those were who insulted me, and truly in being 
 every whit as base as they. 
 
 This is a kind of poem/ reflected Flaxius. [A 
 great many of the lyrics of that age were riddles, like 
 some of the songs, and not a few of the novelettes 
 of the present time, to say nothing of Browning.] 
 
 I was doing a deserved penance, from which you 
 rescued me. Listen ! I was born of the fairy race, 
 but by long study, penance, and prayer to the Sub 
 limities, rose to the higher order of spirits, beyond 
 which are the minor gods, such as those to whom 
 the great deities assign specialties in nature, or even 
 in mortal life. My protectress was Thana, the chaste 
 goddess of the moon, or Diana, and as power was to 
 be gained by renouncing pleasure, I became proud 
 of maiden virtue, believing it was a virtue in itself, 
 and not one of the means thereto. 
 
 More and more interesting, reflected Flaxius, 
 1 And a neat distinction ! 
 
 And one day, in my vanity, I insulted one of the 
 beautiful attendants on Turan or Venus, the Goddess 
 of Beauty and Love ; for I reviled a Lasa, or one of 
 the spirits who are attendants on and mistresses of 
 the souls which come from earth. Yes, I insulted her, 
 much as I was this day insulted by the mob. There 
 was an appeal to the gods, and Tinia, the Lord of All, 
 sentenced me to assume the mortal form in which 
 you to-day first beheld me, and to endure the insults 
 of men till I should learn higher truth, and until 
 I should meet with a mortal who would treat me 
 sincerely with true humanity. This I have done, 
 and now I am not only freed from penance, but find 
 myself advanced far beyond what I was, going in 
 
6 FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 golden glory ever on. Yet I say, in truth, that I did 
 not suffer once or in the least as a mortal, from the 
 time that I was struck by the great truth in all its 
 branches, that no one should be condemned for being 
 what one is by fate, and that Inferno is not too bad 
 for a prurient prude on the prowl. 
 
 But to you, who were in this my master, I 
 owe great gratitude. By penance and prayer I 
 have accumulated much power which I proposed to 
 devote to advancing myself to higher lives. But it 
 shall go to you in the form of two wishes. I can 
 wait for more and work a while longer. Ask for 
 whatever you can imagine, such as a mortal may 
 require wealth or power, choose ! 
 
 1 Your ladyship/ replied Flaxius, is decidedly 
 determined to prove that in this world the less a 
 man does, the better he is paid for it. Having been 
 already rewarded a millionfold by the sight of your 
 superb beauty, for what I declare in all sincerity seems 
 to me to be a mere little street incident, in which 
 I casually comported myself as a simply decent man 
 should, I am, of course, to receive further recom 
 pense beyond all human conception. Tis the rule. 
 So be it ! Yet I pray you, most Beautifully Grateful, 
 do not ascribe it to modesty or virtue if I am not 
 extravagant in my desire. I have heard of a man 
 who having been offered a wish by a god, forthwith 
 wished that his future wishes might all be granted. 
 Cunning, that ! And they were all granted, so that 
 in the end he became the most miserable creature on 
 earth, and ended by wishing himself to the devil, 
 and got there, as must befall most mortals who get 
 all they want. Now as you, O Beyond-all-Dreams, 
 are inconceivably my superior in wisdom, it occurs to 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 7 
 
 me that a single wish guided by your sagacity would 
 be more to my benefit than a thousand emanating 
 from my weak mind. Therefore, for a beginning, 
 I wish that your Divine Loveliness would kindly 
 tell me what my second wish should be. 
 
 * There is in that wish/ replied the spirit, a com 
 bination of generosity, courtesy, and gratitude, such 
 as a first-class god need not be ashamed of. Well, 
 I will choose for you a wish that would suit few 
 men. You shall live on earth, a philosopher, but 
 ever in manly strength and health, as long as you 
 will, and to the end of time if you choose it. You 
 will see and feel so deeply into Nature as I can 
 well foresee that the passing away of other mortals, 
 races, or kingdoms, will be but as the passing away 
 of other guests from a hostelry, or as clouds from the 
 sky. For to such as you are, O Humorist ! to live 
 on earth or in heaven, amid ghosts or gods, would in 
 the end be all one and the same ; you would note it 
 all with curious observation, and be the same 
 unchanged in every age. For to him who has like 
 unto thee attained to seeing things absolutely as they 
 are gods or geese are all one and the same. 
 
 What a stupendous truth ! thought Flaxius, and 
 how beautifully expressed ! I could go on listening 
 to this lady till I should grow thirsty for fame ! 
 
 * And they are all one and the same, continued 
 the spirit-lady, to him who is honest which always 
 means generous ; they are all one and the same to 
 the upright or charitable. How do you like your 
 gift ? 
 
 1 1 am delighted, O my Eyes, beyond all expres 
 sion, and now see how wise I was to trust to your 
 higher wisdom. To tell the truth, O Diva, I was 
 
8 FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 dreadfully afraid lest your grace might bestow on me 
 wealth I detest business unbounded dominion, 
 ineffable winsomeness, aesthetic taste O Rubbish ! 
 gratified ambition O Emetics! and power not 
 being, I trust, a cad. For to tell the truth, I was 
 fearfully afraid of all earthly blessings, and so as to 
 secure the least of evils, resolved to take but one, as 
 I was in politeness bound not to decline your offer 
 of sugar-plums, and therefore choose what it seems 
 best to you to give. 
 
 You are, O philosopher, replied the spirit, so 
 ingenious in your generosity, that you make your 
 self almost discourteous. Man, I read your heart, 
 and know that you are no more free from desire 
 than are the gods ; for to wish for nothing is to 
 live no more. Now, will I hold you firmly, and 
 give you more, whether you will or not. Thy first 
 wish was no wish at all, O Flaxius ; it was but a 
 kindly gift to me to spare my power, and aid me on 
 my road to higher life. Therefore, a wish still re 
 mains to thee, and I warn thee that the favours of 
 the gods are not to be lightly cast aside. Therefore, 
 make a wish now for thyself, and look that thou put 
 into it all thy heart, and all thy self. 
 
 Then, lady, replied Flaxius, since I must ask 
 for Something, I wish to know in what manner I 
 can best show my gratitude to you for all this 
 kindness. 
 
 Go thy way for an incorrigible rogue ! exclaimed 
 the spirit, this time with a divinely genial smile on 
 her countenance. I see that thou wilt never be 
 beaten at this game. Ages on ages hence, when 
 thou may st take a fancy to leave the world, there 
 shall be inscribed on thy tomb : " Here lies Flaxius, 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 9 
 
 never surpassed among men or gods in generosity, 
 courtesy, or coolness ! " 
 
 * And the gratitude, O Marvellous One, exclaimed 
 Flaxius. 
 
 Thou canst show it best by remaining here as 
 my guest, and regarding my house as a home. 
 When weary of wandering about in the wide world, 
 come here and rest, and ever be welcome. Here no 
 haunting Hintial or Spirit of the Shadow can cast a 
 gloom over life ; in these fairy palaces all is peace. 
 But remember, Flaxius/ added the beautiful spirit, 
 1 that it is still not too late for thee to express and 
 receive another wish. By the eternal law of the 
 Aesir, this must be done within the fated, favour 
 able hour when a spirit offers it. Opportunity is 
 golden, and I ask it as a favour. 
 
 Then, your Resplendent Picturesqueness and 
 Benign Benevolence, replied Flaxius, quoting at 
 hap-hazard what he could recall from the Etruscan 
 prayer-book, and grasping desperately in earnest at 
 the first thing he could think of which would be nice 
 to have, or to be, * make me an Original Character. 
 
 The Peri of Loveliness raised the two most beauti 
 ful little hands which Flaxius had ever seen, and 
 slightly spreading the rosy fingers, struck them 
 downwards abruptly, even as mortals do when they 
 give it up in mild despair, and are dead-locked, 
 grassed, or gravelled. 
 
 I hope I utter no blasphemy against the power 
 of the immortals, said the Beautiful One, * but I 
 verily believe the gods themselves, O Flaxius, can 
 add nothing to thee as thou art in that respect. O 
 Tinia, father of the deities, ineffable, overwhelming, 
 and unspeakable Fulminator ! she exclaimed, with 
 
io FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY 
 
 the passion of a wildly inspired divinity, am I not 
 right, and if so, give me a sign, that I speak the 
 truth? My destiny! what can one do with such 
 a man ! 
 
 Over all Northern Italy there roared such a peal 
 of thunder as the oldest aruspices or lucumones had 
 never heard before. It rang in Rome, and rolled 
 beyond the Alps. Vesuvius, by fair Parthenopis, 
 answered it with the tremendous peal of an eruption, 
 as Vulcan (termed Sethlans, the earthly deity of fire) 
 answered his awful brother of the air. It drove the 
 gods of the fields and roads, the fairies and satyrs, 
 silvani, fauns, dusit, and all their kind, in terror to 
 the mountain caves and forests. It pierced, like a 
 spirit, to the depths of the darkest caverns wherein 
 reposed the ancestors, and the dead amid the painted 
 vases and mystic bronzes turned over in their eternal 
 sleep ; and every statue in the land was found next 
 morning in a changed position, or bottom upwards. 
 The magi consulted the Ars Fulguritora, written of 
 yore by the nymph Begoe, to translate the mighty 
 peal, for unto them its words were a distinct lan 
 guage. And as they overturned the holy utter 
 ance, syllable by syllable, from the dictionary into 
 Etruscan, it read : 
 
 Fear not, O daughter, for thou speakest truth : 
 That is about the size of it, in sooth, 
 For well I ween on earth no queerer cus 
 Did ever live than this thy Flaxius. 
 
 [Cus, be it observed, is a terminal noun signifying 
 a person of any kind as rusttcus, grammaticus, 
 clericus, and many other kinds of cusses its use 
 here being a proof of the immense antiquity of the 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE FAIRY n 
 
 Sabine Latin version of the original from which this 
 tale is taken.] 
 
 Ab hac origine et itinere terrestri illucprofcctus est 
 * twas thus that Flaxius got his start in life. Ab 
 hoc disce learn from his legend this, concludes the 
 scroll : 
 
 Be it a slipper or be she a shrew, 
 Be civil to women whatever you do ! 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 Every Divinity no matter who 
 Is but the ideal of an age or race 
 Which makes its god, though it be not with hands, 
 Just in the form which it would like to wear. 
 And every man in this is like his age. 
 
 AGES have passed away since Flaxius found himself 
 one twilight in autumn in the wild Lombard land 
 of Northern Italy. Towering far as eye could see, 
 vast cliffs or mighty peaks sprang up like living 
 forms, with precipiced sides falling gracefully as 
 classic draperies ; bold and strange and all unlike 
 the rounded hills and undulating plains of other 
 countries. Before him spread, as if into a steel- 
 blue eternity, the shining Mediterranean ; all about 
 him seemed beautiful, cold, and strange as in a 
 dream. The western sky was one even hue of rich, 
 ripe orange turning into brown. Upon a distant 
 headland rose an ancient tower, by which rested 
 a vessel with one long, sloping sail. A chill stole 
 o er the whispering breeze, and the evening star 
 shone gently forth. 
 
 And standing there high upon the mountain, the 
 mystic magian and undying one looked around 
 among the rocks and said : 
 
 Here it was that the Fairy, who is so obliging 
 as to rule my destiny, as yonder star is said to rule 
 the heart, bade me come at dated day and hour to 
 
 12 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 13 
 
 meet with one, whose acquaintance, as she assured 
 me, would prove to be remarkably interesting. Truly 
 with all my utmost stretch of thought, be it in 
 levelled prose or rolling poetry, I can conjure up 
 nothing personal here, or make any spiritual bread 
 out of these stones, but then, tis only purblind 
 ignorance which vows that all is nothing which it 
 cannot see. Now, as there is no form near me, and 
 as I can with sorcerer s sight see for fifty miles 
 adown, and all around the land and sea, I opine that 
 he, the beloved personage, to keep the tryst must 
 come here on the wings of thought far sweeping. 
 Light of my Soul, I give thee half an hour ! 
 
 But as Flaxius made this last remark, he ob 
 served a Cypress plant, about six feet high, with 
 leafage reaching to the ground, a furlong distant on 
 a cliff, was evidently moving from its place towards 
 him, and, as it moved, was growing human in its 
 form. The head became distinct, the shoulders 
 next, then the lower foliage unfolded in a long 
 dark robe. 
 
 Like all illuminati such as you and I Flaxius 
 drew critical, philosophical deductions first, before 
 examining vulgar details, in these words : 
 
 * I wonder, now, whether the seeing saplings 
 waving in the wind did not first suggest to man, 
 ghosts? But this is really a Being, Fairy mine, 
 I did not think that thou wouldst play a miracle on 
 me\ Thaumaturgy among us is really too bad. 
 But perhaps, he added, it is a fancy of the 
 gentleman himself habit becomes strict nature 
 with us all. 
 
 As the form drew near him, Flaxius recognised 
 in the face and mien of the stranger, though it 
 
14 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 would not be apparent to the world, a Gymno- 
 sophist. So they were once termed, whom we should 
 call Brahmins that is, Indian sages. Evidently the 
 stranger had come far astray into the Italian land. 
 
 Now, as Flaxius had passed a century or two 
 of his youth in company with his friend Pythagoras in 
 study at the leading Indian universities, he understood 
 the stranger at a glance. Therefore he addressed him 
 familiarly in Romany, which is a cousin to Hindi, 
 which is a grand-daughter to Sanskrit, and therefore 
 all in the family and generally spoken : 
 
 * Latcho divvus prala ! But mishto horn dikav 
 tute ! ( Good day, brother ! Right glad I am to 
 see thee! ) 
 
 But the stranger gravely replied in the mother of 
 Sanskrit, or ancient Aryan of the Tertiary period : 
 
 I am of older race than thou hast deemed. I 
 was among the fathers of those who first came into 
 India from the far North, and I speak the tongue 
 which is destined in its descendants to encircle the 
 whole world. And thou, too, knowest it, Flaxius, as 
 I know thee, for we have met ere now, long since, 
 beyond the Ganges, though thou now speakest 
 flippantly, like a mad college youth, in the language 
 of the roads. But thou art only a boy as yet in 
 years, and wilt learn wisdom in time. And the 
 fairy who watches over thee has sent me here that 
 thou mayst have a lesson which will profit thee 
 so far as thou art wise, and redouble what there is 
 in thee, be it small or great, and mend thy flippant 
 speech. 
 
 To which Flaxius humbly and gently replied, in 
 good Sanskrit : 
 
 4 Few, indeed, O father, are the diamond dewdrops 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 15 
 
 of immortality which have fallen into my vase 
 from the infinite heaven of wisdom ; barely the 
 flavour of a taste of the Amrecta cup of true 
 knowledge has come to me from the depth of the 
 soundless sea of Truth, and if thou canst add to it 
 ever so little, it will be most gratefully received. I 
 am as one who murmurs feebly in a sleep, mid broken 
 dreams. I pray thee, waken me to life and light ! 
 
 It is not from me, Flaxius, answered the Aryan 
 sage, c that thy lesson is to come, but from one nearer 
 allied to thee in that philosophy of life which thou 
 art next to learn. My footsteps wander in the 
 silent paths, far beyond humanity and the visible 
 scope of sense ; thine have not yet trodden all the 
 ways of the world in which thou hast a part. As 
 yet, for thee, there is perfume in the green valleys, 
 amid violets and asphodel ; for thee, birds still sing 
 in leafy trees ; for thee, the lovely nymph amid the 
 reeds still smiles and beckons with a cautious air, 
 and brave men welcome thee with the wine-cup in 
 the weaponed hall ; for thee is yet the ring and the 
 crash of arms, and the joy of battle, and council 
 among sages and kings. All of this I have left far 
 behind me for it was my fate. Whether to press 
 on through the ages, or exhaust the age ere leaving 
 it, is not a question for us. To every one let his 
 road and ours be plain. 
 
 Now, as to him whom thou art here to meet. 
 Here in this land, as indeed in many others, long ere 
 thy Etruscan ancestors had brought Egyptian and 
 Greek art or culture into their own rude strength 
 and tremendous superstition and faith in ancient 
 forms, there were men who after death became 
 spirits, and were worshipped as gods. Yet even then, 
 
16 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 so inherent was earth in their natures, they remained 
 of the world worldly, and existed in that nature 
 which we of India ever aspire to transcend. Among 
 them was one who vowed never to quit this world 
 and human life till he had mastered its last secret. 
 
 A most original and glorious god, that ! observed 
 Flaxius, and one rather to my mind. Was he, 
 think you, square right or round wrong? 
 
 Being assumedly in his right mind, he did 
 nothing wrong, answered the Aryan. * Nay, there 
 is a point to come, in the dim and remote future, 
 where our paths will meet. But, to the god himself! 
 Look about thee, and tell me what thou seest? 
 
 I behold, replied Flaxius, after a pause, vast 
 rocks, or remnants, as it seems on closer look, of 
 some tremendous architecture of long lost ages, of 
 rudest form, yet worked with giant will, so worn by 
 time and so tossed in confusion that few would trace 
 in them the hand of man. I myself did not at 
 first observe that these were ruins of some massy 
 building. 
 
 What modern culture would not note, replied 
 the Aryan, * has, however, been retained in popular 
 tradition, for the wild shepherd who pastures his 
 goats amid these rocks, or the old crones while 
 spindling in their shade, record, in what has been 
 called the " Gospel of the Distaff," tales of a time 
 when there was a mighty temple in this spot a 
 marvellous building of high walls and towers, from 
 whose lofty summit men beheld the sun while it 
 was still dark on earth, or, as legend grows in 
 greatness, all night long. This tale their ancestors 
 brought from the icy North, where, indeed, it is true 
 enough in a way, and ever will be. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 17 
 
 Therein dwelt the god, who had been a mighty 
 man, uniting in himself all that was of the earth 
 earthy, of human craft most crafty, of strength the 
 strongest, of honeyed sweetness the most sweet, of 
 mortal bitterness, the bitterest. He gave himself 
 unto the very life of the life of what the Egyptian 
 Hermes has called the downward-borne elements of 
 God ; but suffered not a fibre, a breath of that 
 which transcends life or what we call the spiritual 
 or divine to mingle with, or enter into his sphere. 
 Hence, dealing only with material things, he found 
 that all things material do somewhere clash or 
 fail, and that, however high human thoughts may 
 rise, there is always some higher point whence 
 they appear as mockeries and failures, or foolish 
 incompletions. He ended supposing an end by 
 seeing in all things that which, beginning as almost 
 senseless fun, and witless laughter in apes and 
 boors, rises to humour and true wit in culture, 
 flits as the paradox o er many a problem of life, 
 thrills or charms or terrifies as contrast or contra 
 diction in the struggle offerees, appals and bewilders 
 us in the agony and suffering, pain and tragedy 
 of the elements and man, and ends all in death 
 and new birth. To him in all is one stupendous 
 humour, whether in laughter or in weeping, or in the 
 deepest human wisdom for in all lies the paradox 
 always visible from some point to the god. 
 
 Verily, observed Flaxius, that is having a keen 
 perception of a joke on a tremendous scale. And 
 considering that all nature hath as yet appeared to 
 me as consisting principally of conundrums, I 
 should infer that our god will find no lack of work 
 or of amusement for some time to come. Truly, I 
 
 B 
 
i8 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 begin to surmise that there is more wisdom in the 
 world than the wisest are aware of, and that the 
 greater we become the greater are our jests and the 
 more poetic our quodlibets ; yea and that even a 
 pun may be so sublime that a church may be 
 founded on it. It has indeed occurred to me many 
 a time that many a doctrine, creed or law divine, 
 for which myriads of lives have been lost, is all 
 bosh, as ye say in your ancient Indian tongue, mere 
 noise and nonsense. Like bricks set in a row on 
 end by children, they only knock one another down 
 in due succession at the last. 
 
 * Therefore Humour in its highest and holiest, or 
 most diabolical sense, is the one true aurea catena, 
 or golden chain which runs through all things, so far 
 as man can know them. Yes, it is like a tremendous 
 rock which I once saw even in thy native land, O 
 Sage. It overhung the road so terribly that the 
 heart of him who passed under it quaked with fear, 
 but when it was passed, men, looking backwards, 
 beheld that in the sunshine it wore the form of a 
 great grotesque face beaming with winky laughter. 
 
 4 Thou dost indeed rise to the occasion, Flaxius, 
 replied the Sage, with an expression which seemed 
 almost like the reflected, far-away, dim phantom 
 of a pre-historic smile. It was his first for seven 
 hundred and fifty-three years, reckoning from the 
 fifteenth of August, which is the Ascension Day of 
 Buddha. Almost thou persuadest me that the god 
 has a convert ready-baked to his hand. But it is 
 past the sunset, and I know that we are awaited. 
 Follow me ! 
 
 He led the way along a winding path or easy 
 footway, now beside vast, uplifted stones, now by 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 19 
 
 the edges of tremendous cliffs, at whose base, far 
 below, was heard the sound of a torrent, like human 
 voices laughing together ; overhead leaned, far out, 
 graceful trees or shrubs, like daring girls seeking 
 to look below for coming lovers kneeling on tufts 
 of waving mountain vines, softly lighted by the stars 
 and rising moon. 
 
 The breeze came from the sea to woo the night, 
 and its cool breath was pleasant to the giant-like 
 young Etruscan, but the Indian sage drew his cloak 
 about him, and as he seated himself on a stone said : 
 
 Yet a few minutes and we shall be before the 
 ancient god. Know that long ago, even during the 
 days of the earliest dwellers in Italy, there was a 
 civilisation which far transcended that of savages, 
 for wherever there is a race with genius there will be 
 work, however rude, to prove it. At that time, the 
 spirit of whom I spoke had here a temple. Then in 
 a later age, when other races such as thine, O 
 Flaxius, invaded Italy, these people, forewarned by 
 divinity, left the marvellous image brought from 
 some Asian clime in which their deity had dwelt, 
 and, walling up the shrine with utmost care, laboured 
 long to destroy all outward traces of man s work, 
 and fled. 
 
 Then the god, who had before ever been present 
 in the statue, also left the cave. But once a year 
 does he return to it, to revivify that which was once 
 himself, unto mankind, even as in all countries 
 feudal possessions are held by the tenure of annual 
 presence and the performance of some deed. And 
 the performance to which he is pledged, is to answer 
 to such words as may be spoken to him, which 
 indeed are few and far between, since among the 
 
20 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 spiritual and Theosophists, there are not many 
 who care for such inveterate old heathenism, 
 and hard-pressed, material, firm-baked worldliness 
 as his. 
 
 Thou, O Flaxius, having by mortal virtue won 
 the grace of an immortal Fata, or celestial fairy 
 who is well nigh one of the gods, hast had the 
 strange chance of a man who is to be perfected in 
 worldly wisdom, and therefore art sent to confer 
 with him who mastered it in the past. Long it is, 
 I ween, since he ever saw before his shrine such a 
 neophyte as thou art ! 
 
 And now let us enter ! 
 
 Saying this, he pressed aside the boughs and 
 leaves of a dense thicket or copse, finding again 
 a passage, till he came to what seemed to be a 
 bare wall of rock. Here, he tapped thrice with his 
 staff, whereupon a door opened, and they entered 
 a wide-arched hall illuminated by a very soft and 
 brilliant light, whose source was not visible, but 
 seemed to be in the air itself. A single and silent 
 form, that of a youth of beautiful, but strange 
 type, as of another race, led them to the baths, 
 where they found, after their ablutions in perfumed 
 water, fresh linen garments ready for them. They 
 were then taken to another apartment where a meal 
 was spread. It gave no great promise, being simply 
 a cake for each, with wine, which, however, in no 
 wise astonished sages who knew the secrets of trans 
 cendental cookery, and of draughts distilled with 
 Rosicrucian skill. And then, being greatly refreshed, 
 the Aryan spoke once more : 
 
 Thou wilt now behold the god, and I bid and 
 beg thee earnestly, that thou, ere speaking, wilt con- 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 21 
 
 sider long and very seriously his countenance, follow 
 ing it to the very depths of its expression, and 
 through all the shadows and tones of meaning which 
 it awakens in thy memory or imagination. Now if 
 thou art, as becomes a true student of wisdom, 
 keenly perceptive of the soul in the face that is, a 
 genuine physiognomist then wilt thou, with the aid 
 of what I have told thee, know enough to learn more/ 
 
 And with this they went into a great hall. At 
 the further end, in a wonderfully quaint shrine, 
 which seemed like a dense swarm of blinking jewels 
 and living gems swimming in gold, was a most 
 marvellous image. It was apparently of some strange 
 creamy-white or ivory-like material, browned or 
 veined by great antiquity into rich dark tones and 
 blending polished hues, as if time had completed on 
 it with unusual care the daintiest part of the hand 
 work of the artist. One would think it had been 
 made by Keats. In the form itself there was 
 manifest a most archaic rudeness ; there was in it 
 nothing of the divine grace of the Greek, and yet 
 it had not the ugliness of the old traditional forms 
 of the Egyptian, for he who made it had gone 
 straight to nature, copying what he saw there with 
 out convention. It was the converse of art. 
 
 Flaxius bowed low before the form ; the Aryan 
 prostrated himself flat on the ground, uttering a 
 fervent prayer in many strophes, burning incense 
 withal, and chanting an invocation. But the young 
 Etruscan gazed boldly at the god, steadily and with 
 out fear, as a Norse champion might have gazed at 
 Odin or Thor, had either faced him. And as the mystic 
 light shone on the deeply inscrutable countenance 
 of the Aryan sage and the splendid self-confidence 
 
22 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 and jovial air of Flaxius, like an Asiatic pre-figuring 
 of the Roman or of the race predestined to conquer 
 the world, and finally on the marvellous mystery of 
 the god, the wisest observer might well have thought 
 that even in those days such a trio was without its 
 equal on earth. There they were, even as they are 
 to-day : the transcendental Oriental, the vigorous 
 prototype of the coming Europe, and the obscuring 
 image of the giant Past a goodly picture for the 
 artist who could do it justice ! 
 
 And what Flaxius first beheld in the face was the 
 coarse and laughing look, not even of the lowest 
 faun or satyr, but of a boor or clown grinning 
 through a horse-collar/ such as I have seen in a 
 head of the fourteenth century in an old hall in 
 Herefordshire: a look changing, an instant later, 
 into the expression of a devil, with an unutterable 
 depth of malice and despair, as of lunacy in 
 man. But whether it was the play of the mystic 
 light, or of something more marvellous within, he 
 suddenly saw a new soul in it, as of a higher and 
 more cultured fiend a Mephistopheles who denied 
 all things and smiled on all ; and yet it was the 
 same face, and anon there came insensibly the ex 
 pression of the sage who, cold and calm, observes 
 all human error and earthly change, like one study 
 ing insoluble problems. 
 
 Now we have come, thought Flaxius, to the 
 earliest Greek philosophers, Cynic and Stoic and 
 Epicurean sunshine on ice! 
 
 And anon it was the poet, seeking his similes and 
 correspondences in nature and man, caring not, so 
 that he found the beautiful and vivid, how contra 
 dictory the elements might be. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 23 
 
 Ha ! art thou there, Hesiod or is it Homer or 
 Sappho or seest thou thy singers of the Maha- 
 barata and Kalidasa ? inquired Flaxius of the Indian. 
 1 Yes tis all the same the simile and the antithesis 
 the contradiction and anomaly which point man s 
 highest poetry. 
 
 But the face was ever the same nor had it 
 changed. 
 
 And last of all I see the seeker into all, reflected 
 Flaxius. He who from the lowest sense of in 
 congruity, as from the deepest agony of passion and 
 faith, from the highest truth evolved by philosophy, 
 as from the whirling million-folded threads of the 
 garment of God, draws only the conclusion of strife 
 and absurd change. The eternal Wheel of the Law, 
 held by a laughing fiend all is Humour and thus 
 endeth the first lesson ! 
 
 Then he spoke to the god. 
 
 I perceive that I can see in thee no more, 
 since I have got back to my beginning. Doubtless 
 there are in thee higher phases which I, the mere 
 pupil, cannot perceive. All of us cannot fathom 
 everything. But what I have learned during this 
 past hour transcends all that I knew before, and 
 I must live ages upon earth to master it. Humour 
 is the perception of incongruity and imperfection, 
 of contrasts and errors ; the truest humorist is he 
 who sees it with the most philosophy and truth. 
 
 There was silence, and then there came a deep 
 yet soft and solemn voice from the god : 
 
 * Thou hast learned all which I expected from thee 
 now learn to live in life, and take it as it comes, 
 since gods and men are all subject to the same laws. 
 Seek continually. Knowledge is the soil which when 
 
24 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 well cultivated yields the grain by which thou canst 
 live. Children, go in peace, I have spoken ! 
 
 He spoke well, said the Aryan sage ; very well, 
 but not beyond his past. Mine is another road. The 
 true and far-advanced sage, my Flaxius, can by 
 penance and contemplation rise through the ages 
 far above all changes and contradictions of nature 
 and of matter, and pass through the Gate of Nir 
 vana to eternal and unchangeable peace and 
 happiness. Whether it be, as some suppose, into 
 absorption with the highest happiness, or to pursue 
 new fields of individual actions beyond all that intel 
 lect has ever dreamed, I know not, but that he can 
 escape thereby the miseries of change, I do believe. 
 
 But that is only for one in millions, remarked 
 Flaxius. 
 
 * Eternity is long, replied the Sage. 
 
 * I think, answered the Etruscan, that as all 
 truth is three-fold, there may be yet a third way. 
 What it is I truly do not know, but I will think 
 of it. Meanwhile I have enough to do for many a 
 year, in following out what I this night have learned. 
 Before I endeavour to excel in the higher heavenly 
 mathematics and celestial algebra and transcendental 
 curves and equations, I will first master this earthly 
 arithmetic. Perhaps a few of your sages might find 
 the gate of Nirvana sooner if they would do so. 
 You Theosophists forget that you are here in this 
 world as ants, and that the visions and thoughts of 
 the eagle however grand and fine they may be 
 are misplaced in the emmet. Speculations in billions 
 of aeons and millions of millenniums and blue eterni 
 ties are folly for men whose manifest measure of 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 25 
 
 black and white time is the change of day and night, 
 the course of seasons and the path of years. You 
 narrate minutely what occurred for thousands of 
 Kalpacs to the gods, yet cannot trace your own 
 human history accurately for more than a few cen 
 turies. To me it seems that knowledge like 
 chanty should begin at home. And like unto it, 
 friend, but even worse, do I find your esoteric 
 reincarnation. The gradual evolution of all men 
 through revolving cycles, which requires for complete 
 unfoldment a solar system on the seven principles 
 through each of which the soul makes seven rounds, 
 in seven races, and so on through seventy times seven 
 sevenings, with seven times seventy new senses, 
 seasonings, and so on, ere you can get the human 
 being into good form, reminds one very much of 
 the machine depicted by Hogarth. There are in 
 it steel wheels and springs, cogs, latchets, levers, 
 eccentrics, valves, and God knows what all to 
 draw a cork ! 
 
 You reply that Eternity is long, and by that say 
 ing you refute yourself. For life seems to be all to 
 him who is in it. And you require man to master, 
 study, understand, and in life live up to a system 
 which he can only comprehend, or do anything with 
 in a million of years. Wherein, O friend, thou art 
 illogical. 
 
 And yet, O Aryan, I thank thy faith, for the 
 time was not quite lost which I spent in studying it. 
 For even as oysters lead to soup, and soup to fish and 
 good pieces de resistance, or beef and game, so do I 
 prophetically foresee that this thy Indian soup of 
 speculation will lead to German metaphysics, which 
 will conduce to the fish of a Natur-philosophie, which 
 
26 FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 
 
 will bring man to the English roast beef of Darwin 
 and Huxley, and solid pudding thereunto. 
 
 * And I thank thee for introducing me to this god, 
 in whom I find incarnate the moral aspect of the 
 mere materialism in which I, for the time, live, 
 move, and have my being. Truly, it is not quite 
 enough for one who would fain think that tis not all 
 of life to live, nor all of death to die, but it is all 
 in all sufficient for the disciple of Epicurus and 
 Lucretius, which it is well to be for once in life s 
 journey, wherein we must sometimes stop in queer inns 
 of Hedonism. 
 
 1 Now may we in the ages often meet ! Farewell 
 until our paths again are one ! 
 
 And with this each went his way again into life. 
 
 Hcec fabula docetl wrote the great master as a 
 note, this legend teacheth a lesson which may per- 
 adventure not be unto all quite so plain as a fly in a 
 milk-pan, or the sun at noon-day, oculis subjecta 
 fidelibus, or " before our werry eyes," as the elder 
 Weller hath it, or as intelligible as one-third of the 
 sermon of Arlotto was to himself che riintese lui 
 for which reason, O refined reader, I will explain it 
 to thee ! The ancient godkin whom I did interview 
 represents the practical wisdom of life as based on a 
 narrow materialism which sees in all things only atoms 
 and chance, and believes that nature does but carry 
 out things to a certain extent when they fail, or roll 
 the stone up a hill, whence it comes tumbling back 
 on Sisyphus. Therefore his worshippers found in 
 life only contradictions and paradoxes without end. 
 Now it is true that these abound in life, and are the 
 soul of humour and of poetry, and exist from 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE GOD 27 
 
 laughter up to sublimity in everything material yet 
 is this crude materialism far away different from that 
 Evolution which I afterwards learned, which goes 
 deeper than atoms, and believes in infinite progress 
 from stage to stage, in ideals, and the ever-advancing 
 power of volitional consciousness or human will. In 
 the course of progress through the ages, paradoxes 
 disappear, or else are succeeded by high and nobler 
 and purer forms of the complex and contradictory. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 
 
 When Julius Crcsar gave the deputies 
 
 From Gaul their rights and treated them as men, 
 
 All Rome roared out in rage, because in Rome 
 
 All foreigners were held as vile and low : 
 
 And thus it was that Qesar showed himself 
 
 Most perfectly the bravest of mankind, 
 
 And fittest man of all to rule the state. 
 
 Comment by Aftss Winifrede Orr, on the following chapter. 
 And the Pharisees and Scribes murmured, saying : This 
 
 man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them. St. Lttkc, xv. 2. 
 
 THE wise and great Flaxius in his steps from 
 century to century did much to endear himself to 
 the men of the present, who take a pride in their 
 northern ancestry. For when no elegant Roman 
 scholar would have given a rusty denarius to know 
 what was going on in the whole world, north of 
 Italy, our sage made himself intimate with Odin 
 and Thor, not to mention the God Frey (whose name 
 is yet borne by descendants of the old stock), had 
 been favoured by Freya, had read the first edition 
 of the Edda scraped in runes on birch-bark, had 
 suggested emendations in it, and so on. He was a 
 great friend of Olaf Tryggvason, whose true history, 
 and it is a marvellous one, yet remains to be written. 
 And here-and-thereing about, it happened that he 
 came into the Netherlands, where he made acquaint 
 ance with King Gambrinus the inventor of beer. 
 But, in fact, it was Flaxius who, having in India 
 learned from Vishnu the art of brewing Sowa, which 
 
FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 29 
 
 is now generally agreed to have been India pale ale, 
 taught him the secret. And not to digress, I would 
 here note that Bass has his name from Bassaro, 
 a place in Lydia, where Bacchus had a temple, which 
 name is supposed to be derived from the Hebrew 
 Bassar^ to gather in a vintage, because in those 
 days beer was regarded as a sort of wine, an idea 
 still preserved by German poets, who call it barley- 
 wine. As for ale, Flaxius affirms that it is found 
 in the marvellous myth of Ale-sia, a city of Sicily, 
 where there was a fountain, which foamed up 
 joyously at the sound of music, so that the froth 
 ran over the brim, just as Lager is believed to 
 foam in the glass when students sing. For which 
 the reader may consult Pliny (lib. 3), and Solinus. 
 As for the Lager, I have witnessed that miracle 
 myself and hope to see it again. And it is also 
 true, as it is lovely, that the beautiful, clear Pilsener 
 beer, as well as that of Vienna, will leap up in 
 joyous bubbles when it hears an orchestra play, as 
 ye may see for yourselves, according to Puttuli, if 
 you chance to be present when it occurs ! And it 
 is for this reason that the Cup of the Winds, which 
 is before me as I write, a goblet of the tenth century, 
 carved from wood, and undoubtedly a Lombard 
 beer-cup, has on it the four Modes in music, each 
 represented by a female figure playing on a musical 
 instrument, and all their skirts blowing in a high 
 wind, to signify aria or melody, which is a pun in 
 wood, even as the Catholic Church is one in stone. 
 Ergo bibamus ! 
 
 And while thus up-and-downing in the North, 
 Flaxius came to Holland, which had at that time 
 been but recently taken by the Dutch. Now at this 
 
30 FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 
 
 particular period, or P. P., as a friend of mine used 
 to denote the great dates in the margin of his 
 history, the Netherlands were under the dominion 
 of Siegfried the Dragon-killer (as you may learn 
 from Wagner s opera), who had for a wife eventually 
 the fair Chriemhilde, so sweetly described in the Book 
 of Heroes : 
 
 Her heart in beauty burning a ruddy ruby shone. 
 The gleaming of her eyelets was like the glowing moon. 
 She clad herself in roses and pearls as bright and rare : 
 Yet none came to the maiden to give her comfort there. 
 
 She was right fair of figure and slender in the waist, 
 Like to a golden lustre, naught in her form misplaced ; 
 Her hands and fingers perfect, each unto either trim ; 
 Her nails so white and shining, you could see yourself therein. 
 
 Her hair was bound in beauty with noble silken twine, 
 She let it flow a-downward, that lovely maiden fine. 
 She wore a crown with jewels, and all of gold so red. 
 Of Elberich the Dwarfling she had in truth great need. 
 
 And in that crown bright shining lay a carbuncle stone, 
 Which even in the palace like a bright topaz shone. 
 Upon her head the ringlets in glossy masses lay ; 
 They gleamed as clear and brightly as doth the sun by day. 
 
 She stood alone, unheeded, right sorrowful her mood. 
 How beautiful her colour, it was like milk and blood ; 
 And through her locks so purely the neck shone white as snow. 
 Ah ! Elberich the Little felt deep the maiden s woe. 
 
 Then in time her sorrow was relieved, and amid 
 the conflicting jar of legendary songs, it appeared 
 that she married Siegfried. But her great deed was 
 to lay out a glorious and wonderful garden of roses, 
 or Rooseveldt, in German Rosengarten, of which 
 Carlyle writes : 
 
 Chriemhild, whose altered history makes such a 
 figure in the Nibelungen^ had, it would seem, a rose- 
 garden some seven English miles in circuit, fenced 
 
FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 31 
 
 only by a silk thread, wherein, however, she main 
 tained twelve stout fighting men, and these, so 
 unspeakable was their prowess, sufficed to defend 
 the silk-thread garden against all mortals. A good 
 antiquary, Von der Hagen, imagines that this rose- 
 garden in the primaeval tradition glances obliquely 
 at the Ecliptic, with its Twelve signs, at Jupiter s 
 fight with the Titans, and we know not what 
 confused skirmishing in the Utgard, Asgard, or 
 Midgard of the Scandinavians. 
 
 Of the great battle of all the heroes of the North 
 about or in this rose-field, I will say nothing. Suffice 
 it to write that in time the fair Chriemhilde had 
 a son by Siegfried, though history passes it over, 
 oh, and this offspring grew up to be a glorious 
 youth, who was known as the Lord of the Rooseveldt, 
 from his patrimony, being often called simply Roose 
 velt, for brevity s sake. And he was a credit to his 
 highly respectable ancestry, first making himself 
 famous in learning and letters, then in council, hold 
 ing divers offices, and yet again in a war with Spain, 
 wherein he gained great renown, till in the fulness of 
 time he governed Holland, or had a kingdom therein, 
 which he administered with wisdom and grace. 
 
 Now there are some folk who are brave in one 
 way, and some in another; some braving- mad when 
 drunk, and others only bold while sober, or to show 
 off, or to gratify temper; but Roosevelt was brave all 
 round, having not only physical, but in the highest 
 degree moral courage, for he had that of his 
 Opinions, which is the noblest of all. And Flaxius 
 to his great joy observed this. 
 
 The king had soon seen in the Sage great wisdom 
 and a genial spirit, and had therefore made of him 
 
32 FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 
 
 a friend. It came to pass one day that as they were 
 riding near the Rhine, they saw seated by the road 
 side a poor man, of very dark colour, yet one who 
 seemed as if he might be far better than his looks. 
 
 * Whence earnest thou ? asked the king. 
 
 With the sun whose livery I wear, from the South. 
 I am of the dark races, and was brought here a 
 captive. 
 
 What hast thou seen ? 
 
 I have seen sorrow, and felt oppression, heard 
 curses, tasted bitterness,and smelt the air of dungeons, 
 and all because of my colour, for God knows my soul 
 is white enough, and were my skin the same I should 
 be called learned, and, perhaps, something more. 
 Yet at this minute I am hungry, and few, indeed, are 
 they who would give me food, and none who would 
 eat with me/ 
 
 By Frey and all the gods ! cried Roosevelt in 
 anger, come thou with me, friend, and we will see 
 whether no man will keep thy company ! For I am 
 lord of all this land, and I swear that this day thou 
 shalt dine with me in my palace, sitting at my table 
 with me, and may Loki and Svanttowit, Teuston, 
 Vith, and Busteric, Chrodo, Swackenhammer, Irmin- 
 sul, Hela, Hellwolf, Zernebock, 1 and the whole gang, 
 do their worst with me, if I stand not by thee ! 
 
 So they went to the palace, and the pilgrim was 
 bathed and clad in seemly garments ; and when the 
 horn was blown for dinner, and the band struck up, 
 lo ! there sat the dark man at the royal table, and 
 Roosevelt treated him as he did the other guests. 
 
 1 Zernebock. It was over this deity that George Borrow came to 
 grief when he ridiculed Walter Scott for making an old Saxon witch 
 swear by him. For the Saxons did adopt Zernebock, though he was 
 the Cerncboh or black god of their Slavonic neighbours. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 33 
 
 But the dark man behaved modestly, like any other 
 gentleman, conversing chiefly with Flaxius about 
 foreign countries. 
 
 There will be a row about this/ said Flaxius to 
 Breitmann, a northern warrior, who spoke a bar 
 barous Dutch, and who was something of a bard, 
 because he had sung a * bardy. He was Poet Laureate. 
 
 You pet all you got on it/ was the reply. All 
 de small minds who had rader live in a liddle country 
 dan in a pig von, will pe hoppin mad. And efery 
 man who has nodding boot a white colour to make 
 him resbectaple, and a crate many pious beople 
 among dem, will fluke and coorse and damn der 
 Roosevelt ; for peing too moosh like de Lord Jesus, 
 who did in his vay de fery same ding. I shall have 
 to sing a song apout dis. J 
 
 It is certainly true that what Breitmann (who as a 
 poet was also something of a prophet) predicted, 
 came to pass. For there was great rage all over the 
 land, and people cursed, and swore in high Dutch/ 
 and abused their lord for being morally brave and 
 good ; and it was noticed withal that everybody in 
 the land who came of a race which had ever grunted 
 and groaned because it had been persecuted and 
 there were a great many of these all cried out the 
 loudest against the nigger/ to show their social 
 superiority. But the king, knowing that he had 
 done right before God and man, cared not one broken 
 straw for them all. 
 
 Go thy ways, O King/ said Flaxius admiringly, 
 for the best and noblest, kindest and bravest man 
 who ever sat on a throne, and had the least fear to 
 do what is right. Others have been of good descent 
 and brave, some again brave and learned, others as 
 
 C 
 
34 FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 
 
 bold and honest, but of them all, thou alone art all, 
 and with it the only one who dared be a friend to 
 the downtrodden and oppressed. Now for this, God 
 bless thee, Roosevelt, and thou shalt be blessed ! 
 And even if the future has no more great or glorious 
 deeds for thee, rest content. Thou hast shown more 
 true courage than any monarch before thee ever did, 
 saving Christ, the Lord of all the world. 
 
 Then it came to pass in the year 1901 . . . 
 
 But here the chronicle abruptly ends. 
 
 History repeats itself. 
 
 Now the Laureate kept his word, and made a 
 song, which he sang to a harp, which song travelled 
 from Scheveningen up the Rhine, till it arrived, 
 about a month later, at Cologne. It was thence 
 transferred to Heidelberg by a wandering Minne 
 singer to Constance, which lies on the Bodensee, as 
 is affirmed in a very ancient ballad, which consists 
 of nothing else but this fact repeated fifty times in 
 different forms, in which it bears a great resemblance 
 to much modern intellectual effort, as displayed in 
 political speeches, sermons, and the like. And from 
 the Bodensee it was colported by divers wandering 
 students and Handwerksburschen through German 
 Switzerland, till one warm day it crossed the Alps 
 and got to Verona or Berne in Lombardy, where I 
 believe it stopped, albeit there is a passage or two 
 in the Divina Commedia, which indicate that Dante 
 had possibly come across some rude Italian version 
 of it. And this was the Lied, which I have followed 
 closely : 
 
 DER NOBLE ROOSEVELT 
 
 It is writ in many a shtory which came from olden time, 
 In legends full of glory, in many a minstrel s rhyme ; 
 
FLAXIUS AND ROOSEVELDT 35 
 
 Dot he who acted kindly since history began, 
 And gently to all beople, was der truest gentleman. 
 
 And among de very truest of dis kind in der Welt, 
 As die Rose among de Ritters, I put der Roosevelt ; 
 For brave in dis, or dat, in deed, is many a king or knight, 
 But Roosevelt s der only von dot s brave in all dot s right. 
 
 Grand in der crash of pattle among de cavaliers, 
 Grand in der rush of warriors among de breakin spears, 
 Vhen Odin to de Northmen his help in glory brings, 
 Und de Spaniards fly before dem all shkared like avery-dings. 
 
 But vhere he show der grandest and rise to der Beyond, 
 On de oder side of Jordan, above dis eart ly pond, 
 Is when he knows he s in der right he s efer at his ease, 
 Und in spite of all de tyfels, will do yoost what he blease. 
 
 So Gott be-help him onwards unto a glorious end ! 
 For de trodden-down and lowly efer find in him a friend. 
 Votefer snobs and copperheads against his name may bring, 
 Heaven pless dee for dy nople heart, O Roosevelt, my king ! 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 SHOWING HOW THE PRINCE OF DENMARK, WHEN 
 AT THE UNIVERSITY OF WITTENBERG, LISTENED TO 
 THE LECTURE ON ROMAN HISTORY BY THE LEARNED 
 FLAXIUS, AND WAS TAKEN BY THE LATTER TO A 
 BALL, AND INTRODUCED TO THE FAIRY QUEEN. 
 
 O valiant Hamlet, and worthy of immortal fame, who, 
 being shrewdly armed with feint of folly, covered a wisdom 
 too high for human wit under a marvellous disguise of want 
 of sense, and in that subtlety found means whereby he did 
 protect himself, and yet revenge the murder of his father 
 long before. Saxo Grammaticus, Lib. 3. 
 
 IT happened once, amid the blaze, the splendour, 
 and the symmetry of the centuries, as they whirled 
 magnificently on many ere this of ours, yet many 
 more after wise Flaxius had his natal day that the 
 scholar went to the University of Wittenberg to 
 see what he could pick up in the way of ideas. 
 For, with all his experience and erudition, he was 
 always learning something new, as any man may at 
 any hour in this world school, if he be not too proud 
 to note facts ; as somebody s wisdom hath it in 
 Latin : * Ea est vera nominis existimatio qua non ex 
 sermonibuS) sed ex rebus istis deducitur ; or, as an 
 Englishman more concisely expressed it : There s 
 nothing like facts to learn from. 
 
 And being a man of marked, yet modest mien, 
 who conversed in Latin with singular purity, and 
 one who, when he so pleased, could construct his 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 37 
 
 whole discourse out of nothing but quotations from 
 the classics or from the works of his auditors, 
 which was even more agreeable to them he was 
 soon held in great esteem. And having read in 
 public a paper, De vera Essentia Verborum, in which 
 he demonstrated from A. Artemidorus down to Z. 
 Zoilus, that words have souls, he came to be regarded 
 as clericus vel addiscens, almost a professor. 
 
 So it befel one day, when a certain teacher 
 named Brunkenstrorphius was incapacitated owing 
 to fourteen bottles of Rhenish wine the night 
 before from lecturing, that Flaxius kindly took 
 his place, and read to his class in Roman history, 
 the subject for that day being Nero. 
 
 Now, as Flaxius had had the great advantage 
 of having been long personally acquainted with this 
 emperor to whom he was introduced by Seneca 
 and had been present by special invitation at the 
 brilliant reception which was lighted by a whole 
 congregation of early Christians rolled in pitch 
 and ignited, had talked with Locusta, and seen 
 the stupendous spectacle of the burning of Rome 
 with an Imperial orchestra of one, and received an 
 estate for exclaiming, Artes omnes novit Ccesar! 
 and was finally in at the death of that remarkable 
 artist, he had almost as good a conception of the 
 true character of the latter as sundry modern 
 novelists and immoralists, who have so black- or 
 white-washed him by turns that his memory seems 
 to be like the Cathedral of Florence, or a zebra, or a 
 chequer board, or a bad photograph, or what the 
 Liberal and Conservative press in turn declared of 
 G.O.M. that is to say, an alternation of ebony and 
 ivory, of coal and alabaster, the raven and blanche 
 
38 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 dove, or a Prussian sentry-box, or a cup jewelled in 
 niello, or Saint Paul s, or a cardinal s conscience . . . 
 
 According to Flaxius the emperor was in himself 
 something such a combination, well nigh beyond all 
 the analysis of our modern moral chemistry, the 
 wondrous product of a monstrous age, a terrible 
 Thought elaborated with agony from a mighty 
 but corrupt world, one who, in the true spirit of 
 history, was more a symbol than a man ; mere 
 bronze medal from the iron die of his time. The 
 lecturer could well nigh believe that no Nero, per 
 se, had ever existed at all, but had been a mere 
 simulacrum or phantom set up in a high place, 
 wherewith the Mighty Powers who rule the world 
 had mocked or lessoned man ; a Pharos, or beacon- 
 tower with an effulgent burning - head, standing 
 deeply footed in the freezing-cold, damp, roaring 
 sea a giant giving light in agony, and warning 
 ships not to approach, and, like old Pharos, fearful 
 in his pride. 
 
 There was a kind of dais or higher range of seats 
 and desks, at which sat only the young noblemen 
 who were studying at the University, and among 
 these was one who, to Flaxius who was a marvel 
 lous reader of men, not only by metoposcopia, or 
 physiognomy, but by all which was indicative of the 
 soul? seemed to be as far beyond all his fellows as 
 an eagle would be amid the dullest, pettiest feather- 
 lings of a barnyard. Yet, though very quietly digni 
 fied, he was devoid of that arrogance of rank which 
 displayed itself so conspicuously in every detail of 
 dress, every gesture, and in the very intonation of 
 every word of the aristocracy of that time ; for he 
 was truly too much above them to affect even 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 39 
 
 their superiority a thing in which the German 
 noble of the present day hath still almost everything 
 to learn, especially in Prussia. For even yet among 
 these good folk, well nigh all the joy of life, and 
 mental life itself, consists in the happy reflection 
 that a majority of mankind are (by law, at least) 
 their inferiors ; which stupendous idea (it being 
 generally their only possible one) they contemplate 
 even as a Hindu saint contemplates God, to the 
 exclusion of all other conception. This reflection 
 has been concisely made into a law of ethical 
 science by one of their number, an Austrian named 
 Von Mannteufel, in the words, * Humanity, properly 
 speaking, begins with the rank of count? 
 
 This young nobleman was, indeed, so elevated in 
 rank that he could well afford to dispense with 
 vanity, since he was heir-apparent to the throne of 
 Denmark. His name was Hamlet, and there was 
 that in his appearance which would indicate to 
 even a less clairvoyant eye than that of Flaxius 
 an original character of the strongest type, devoid 
 of the eccentricity which attracts comment, learned 
 in philosophy without pedantry, endowed with a per 
 sonal grace of manner suggesting natural courtesy 
 and a marvellous observation by a quiet eye all 
 of which might be seen in him by all. But Flaxius 
 noted in him something far deeper : a soul which, if 
 not yet risen, was rapidly rising above the storm and 
 whirl of all things in life and time, be they great or 
 small, so as to behold in them all the mere passing 
 show of a drama, yet feeling all the time that in that 
 drama there would be incidents which would wreck 
 this mere mortal life and wrench his soul with agony. 
 He who has this tremendous dual action to undergo 
 
40 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 in life that of being a true philosopher, yet a great 
 sufferer will assuredly have a strange foreboding of 
 it, and to such a mind the idea of Nero, as presented 
 by Flaxius, in its similar doubleness, was a marvel 
 lous revelation. He had long suffered from that 
 problem which a great poet has expressed by saying 
 
 that 
 
 Not in that strife, 
 
 Wherefrom I take strange lore and read it deep, 
 Can I find reason why / should be thus : 
 No nowhere can unriddle, though I search 
 And pore on Nature s universal scroll 
 Even to swooning, why Divinities, 
 The first born of all shaped and palpable gods, 
 Should cower beneath what, in comparison, 
 Is untremendous Might. 
 
 All of which Flaxius the immortal, who could 
 read the soul in the glance, and who saw that he 
 had before him one into whose essence Immortality 
 had cast its brightest rays, deeply divined. So it 
 came that he lectured to Hamlet alone, rising far 
 beyond the rest of the audience. And, mindful of 
 his man, who, he felt, was thirsting to think, he 
 made good long pauses, which his auditors deemed 
 were to give himself rests to make new bounds. 
 
 The lecture was at an end, and Hamlet, by a sign, 
 intimated to his friends that he would fain be left 
 alone. When all were departed, he, with courtesy 
 beyond the time, arose and approached the professor, 
 and said : 
 
 Learned master, thou hast touched with such 
 unerring hand the harp-strings of my heart, and 
 drawn from it such marvellous chords that I would 
 gladly have them combined in more coherent melody. 
 Even as a bee in a bewildered flight, driven by the 
 wind, at chance may light upon 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 41 
 
 A flower, said Flaxius, which gives him rest. 
 
 And in which, too, he finds a honey-store, such 
 as he never found in flight before, subjoined the 
 prince gently. 
 
 Yet around which some curling petals close 
 somewhat too tightly for his eager search, added 
 Flaxius, almost with a smile. Truly to thee who 
 art born to be a prince among more than mortals, 
 I will gladly lend what aid I can to clear away the 
 tangling, hindering leaves. 
 
 Learned master, replied the prince, I would first 
 deeply reflect on what I have heard, since I as yet 
 toil slowly after you. And if it be your pleasure, 
 I pray you seek me this evening in my library. 
 
 I will be there/ said Flaxius, with joy. 
 
 Flaxius the Immortal, and the prince who was 
 unconsciously an aspirant for immortality, sat at a 
 table under antique, grotesquely carved arches, before 
 them a flask of Rhenish, and the works of Hesiod and 
 Homer. In the face of the Master there was the 
 calm dignity of centuries ; in that of Hamlet the 
 quiet of a summer sea, beneath which tides are 
 working which may break bounds in time of storm. 
 They had long held deep discourse, and during the 
 time Flaxius had penetrated more deeply with every 
 utterance into the soul of the young man. At last, 
 after a pause, the Master said : 
 
 He who has risen so far as to find a reality in 
 the tremendous action of the infinite in nature, and 
 who has dwelt so long and earnestly on the change 
 of dynasties of gods from Saturn to Jove, of old 
 worlds into new, on man in his stormiest moods and 
 the rabbit sporting in the thicket, birds and clouds 
 
42 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 and life still circling on, till all such thoughts are 
 most habitual has gone too far to retreat. He has 
 advanced beyond his fellows. If he be weak and 
 break down under the stupendous load he will go 
 mad, and readily will men esteem him so, as they 
 do all whom they cannot understand. If he succeed, 
 they may deem him a poet or a god. But the 
 imbroglio is sadly worse when the man is not a 
 hermit, or one alone in life, who can battle freely 
 with his destiny. If he be one who is enmeshed in 
 some dire tragedy with others, which he, being 
 human, must humanly endure and suffer, and yet 
 is always having his wonted glimpses of the infinite, 
 as prisoners catch glimpses of the sun, then he has 
 before him such a battle and a strife as deserve to 
 bend the decree of fate for very pity. Those who 
 achieve victory over it all live for ever. Now know 
 there are two lives beyond the grave : one the vital 
 life which ever was, and can never pass away ; the 
 other the life of our great deeds, imperishable in 
 the mind of man. 
 
 Ay, replied the prince, and I feel in my deepest 
 soul, great master, not only that thou speakest truth, 
 but thou ne er wouldst tell me this, didst thou not 
 divine by some mystic power, all unknown to me, 
 that I am destined to such warring woe? Worst 
 of all is it for me that I have added into all of 
 this the weakness which must be truly overcome, a 
 wax in the bronze which must be melted out, a love 
 of sleep and ease and pleasant dreams. 
 
 Go on, thou hast more to say, replied Flaxius. 
 
 Well, this remains/ rejoined the prince, after a 
 long pause, a draught of wine, and casting his 
 glance briefly at the scrolls before him. . . . In all 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 43 
 
 these lives of mortals in the past, who rose by 
 power to immortality, I find some golden glimpse 
 vouchsafed to them of the supernatural, some com 
 forting assurance of beings now invisible to me, of 
 gods, guardian angels "followers, * as my northern 
 ancestors called them, or the beautiful Fylgia who 
 flit over the ocean after the heroes whom they 
 protect. Truly, if I could only so much as see 
 and talk once with moonlight fairies and merry 
 elves, or a sprightly goblin, I, being only human, 
 should have some strengthening assurance that life 
 is not all a struggle with mere mortals and matter. 
 Even in so little as what I ask, I should realise that 
 I shall live. Do I speak wisely? 
 
 Yes, replied Flaxius, there are men dying with 
 hunger whom a crumb may save. This much may 
 be granted to thee. Tis little enough. All over 
 doth this outer life an inner life enfold, one of 
 exquisite beauty and grace, as the rough seaweed 
 and grim, ugly moss, and ragged madrepores, and 
 hard crust envelop the exquisitely curved, snow- 
 and-rose-bloom, blushing shell, the only thing on 
 earth which is like in hues to a lovely maiden. 
 Around and about us there circles ever in viewless 
 beauty and undreamed perfume, moving to music 
 all unheard by man, a thronging host of attendant 
 beings ; following sweet missions and holy bid 
 dings ; talking in mystic tongues, of which echoes 
 may be caught in the breeze, in the forest, and 
 in tinkling springs or falling fountains. Truly, I 
 forget myself when I abstract my mind an instant 
 towards them from this our earthly sphere. Yes, 
 tis but little for thee to ask, who hast before thee 
 such a destiny, to live immortal in a poet s verse ! 
 
44 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 Yes, I will give it, and with all my heart, and thou 
 shalt see the light invisible, and hear the music 
 never meant for ears, to such degree as a beginner 
 may. I see thee smile well, be it when thou wilt ; 
 but, as thy wont is, thou requirest time to think on 
 what I Ve said. Go, take an hour. There lies not 
 far beyond the city gate, in a wild place among the 
 lonely rocks, an old and crumbling castle, which all 
 men shun as a haunted place ; and in its hall fairies 
 and goblins hold their revelry from midnight till the 
 morning red is seen. Thither together we will wend 
 our way. 
 
 It might seem marvellous to me, said Flaxius, 
 as he, with Hamlet, walked forth in the summer 
 night under the stars, that thou, O Prince, who 
 livest in the contemplation of greater marvels, who 
 seest the miracle of the growth of. flowers and the 
 wonders of the circling universe which amaze even 
 the spirits of earth and air, shouldst crave a mere 
 glimpse of that which is after all only something 
 new and unaccustomed, did I not know how deeply 
 the desire of what is new to him is implanted in 
 man. Yes, it is so deep that he who masters the 
 problem treads on the verge of the Infinite. I 
 myself 
 
 But here he paused and said : Yonder rises the 
 tower, built, as tradition tells, by a sorcerer who, 
 chanting a spell, with every word broke from the 
 rock a stone, or conjured dust and air to solid blocks, 
 and moved them into place. And tis no more than 
 man himself will do in days to come ; and none will 
 deem the deed a miracle. Hence it is written in 
 ancient chronicles, in veterum libris observation est 
 hoc fieri, that the building has ever been haunted, 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 45 
 
 nymphceis etfatis^ and by those strange spirits of the 
 elements, whose homes being in the crimson gold of 
 sun-dyed skies, or deep in earth, where marvellous 
 gems and metals abound ; or in forests ; like the 
 Silvani and Oreades ; or in streams like the Naiades, 
 have by natural affinity a passionate love for poetry, 
 and all that is rare and beautiful, wild or strange, 
 be it in what form it may. For as nature is not 
 only lovely and comely in her very self, becoming 
 more so the deeper we penetrate her veriest being as 
 natura naturans, so is she also in her freer actions 
 often gaily contradictory, merrily and quaintly dis 
 cordant; jingling bells to her sweetest music, and 
 singing sweet ritournelles of violets over grey and 
 ancient graves. For every one of which freaks, be 
 they as mad as they may, there is some echo of a 
 goblin, Flibbertigibbet, fairy, implet, bogle, browny, 
 pixie, urchin, Puck, Robin Goodfellow, ouphe or oaf, 
 nixey or pixey, duergar or troll, sprite or pigwiggin, 
 sylph or sea-girl, salamander or fire-maid, Heintzel- 
 mann or Waldmeister, Kobold or Bergmannlein as 
 here called, siren, satyr, or faunus, lemur or lamia ; 
 yea, and thereunto as many more as this outer crust 
 of creation hath manifestations, which in themselves 
 are ideas and immortal types, with a life such as 
 science hath not as yet apprehended, though it will 
 also be clearly known in ages to come. For know, 
 O Prince/ continued Flaxius, with an air which had 
 in it something of the poet and the god, that in due 
 time will dawn upon the world a science, of which 
 some of the learned now have not the faintest scent 
 or touch, which after denying and destroying the 
 gods, goblins, and devils, in toto corpore, as now 
 believed in, will end by showing them in matter and 
 
46 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 in truth, and that in a thousand times more marvel 
 lous form than any fairy-tale maker ever fashioned 
 or felt. For little as he knows it, man, instead of 
 leaving the marvellous behind him in remote ages, 
 began, in truth, utterly without it, and is now ad 
 vancing towards and into it, with giant footsteps. 
 Ah, here we are at the gate of the elfin-castle, 
 
 " which men did raise 
 In the ancient giant and goblin days 
 When they sat with ghosts on the stormy shore, 
 And spake in a tongue they speak no more ! " 
 
 Now for a season be a child again. 
 
 As they stood at the gate of the silent pile, they 
 heard, far, far away over many a hill and dale, the 
 crowing of a cock, and the faint chimes of midnight 
 from the town, and then the cry of a sentinel owl 
 from the green -tapestried elfin -tower. To which 
 Flaxius briefly replied in a strange utterance of some 
 fairy kind, when the gate opened, and they found 
 themselves in a scene, which would not have appeared 
 quite unfamiliar to any child who has beheld a 
 gorgeous and exceptionally tasteful feerique in Paris, 
 or an unusually marvellous Christmas pantomime in 
 London, combining all the splendours of Aladdin s 
 palace with all the goblinries of Mother Goose, save 
 that this was a thousand times more splendid, more 
 varied, more grotesque, and more amazing. And 
 having entered, Prince Hamlet stood by the door 
 rapt in utter admiration at the marvellous art which 
 in ever-changing, never-resting beauty and quaint- 
 ness, was displayed before him. 
 
 The witches have their Sabbat in the Blocksberg/ 
 said Flaxius ; the fairies and all their kin hold their 
 own grand merry-makings, but much oftener, being 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 47 
 
 merrier folk, here and elsewhere. Witches and devils 
 select scenery suited to their taste ; fairies conjure 
 up their bright magnificence and airy shows most 
 gladly. In Germany they revel in ancient halls of 
 castles such as this, in imitation of the mortals who 
 preceded them, as is shown by the marvellous legend 
 of the old Count von Hoya. 
 
 And than said Hamlet. 
 
 Was only this : that the fairies came to the old 
 count and begged him to lend them his great hall 
 for a ball for a single night, with the condition that 
 he, the master, might be present, but that no other 
 mortal eye should behold the revel. So at the 
 midnight hour : 
 
 In they came tripping, 
 Fairy-maids, elfin-men, 
 Little and beautiful, 
 Golden, gem-glittering, 
 Two-fold or triple-fold, 
 Ten-fold and twenty-fold, 
 Till the great hall, 
 Splendidly lighted, 
 Looked like the crown, 
 Thickly bejewelled, 
 Of a great monarch. 
 
 So they danced, as you see. And the jolly old Graf 
 danced with them. 
 
 Small was the lady 
 
 Who was his partner ; 
 
 Three inches high. 
 
 Often he lost her 
 
 In the gay multitude, 
 
 Seeking her, finding her ; 
 
 Often he picked her up 
 
 Twixt thumb and finger, 
 
 By her small wings, 
 
 Even as children 
 
 In summer catch butterflies. 
 
48 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 When all at once there was a dead pause. The 
 music ceased, the dancing stopped, while from above 
 was heard an awful, scolding, human voice. It was 
 that of the old Countess von Hoya, who having 
 heard the music, she sleeping above, lifted a trap 
 door and looked down at the spectacle. Truly she was 
 in a great rage to see such a festive scene to which 
 she was not invited. It all died out like an extin 
 guished taper. Tradition says that the queen of the 
 fairies gave the count in reward for his kindness a 
 miraculous sword, ring, and horn, which his family 
 still preserve ; but to punish the countess, laid a 
 ban upon her descendants, that there should never 
 be at one time more than one heir of the name, and 
 it has ever been thus as predicted. 
 
 So in this life even spirits mimic man. A man 
 confirms all things unto himself/ replied Hamlet. 
 This is a brilliant scene, surpassing dreams, he 
 continued, as the elfin guests came pouring in, but 
 I note that they are not all butterfly-minikins. 
 
 Which was quite true, for they were of all sizes, 
 from that of smaller humanity or lesser youth, down 
 to the tiniest sprites who hide in honeysuckles, and 
 wear rose-leaves for cloaks. Among them all Hamlet 
 and Flaxius towered like giants ; nor did they seem 
 out of place, since in the mien and eyes of both there 
 was the expression of something not of earth or 
 common life, which is never absent from such men, 
 but which here, in the mysterious magic light which 
 filled the hall, coming from no visible source, seemed 
 to proclaim itself with tenfold power. 
 
 At the further end of the apartment was a throne 
 of unknown splendour and material, in which were 
 intertwined thousands of strange characters, red and 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 49 
 
 black like ruby and sable onyx. It seemed as if 
 it might be a fairy antique, ancient of the ages, and 
 on it sat, under exquisite rainbow drapery, a female 
 form, of such ineffable loveliness that Hamlet mur 
 mured to Flaxius that he had found in it a new 
 ideal for beauty it so surpassed, yet was so different 
 from, all he had ever dreamed of woman s charms. 
 Thereupon the queen, for such she was who heard 
 and perceived all things looking at them, smiled, 
 and beckoned an approach, when all the small folk 
 parted right and left, leaving a lane by which they 
 went their way unto the throne. And bowing low 
 before her, Flaxius, holding Hamlet by the hand, 
 said in tones of marvellous melody, learned of yore 
 in the magic schools of Etruria : 
 
 To thee, All-Beautiful ! 
 Type of all Loveliness ! 
 Queen of the Elfin world ! 
 Life of all Fairy Land ! 
 I with all reverence 
 Bring a young mortal, 
 Hamlet of Danamark, 
 One little witting 
 What immortality 
 He may inherit, 
 Shouldst thou bestow on him 
 Thy benediction ! 
 
 To this the Fairy Queen, gazing on Hamlet as 
 with intense interest, in which sympathy and deep 
 pity were most perceptible, replied in tones which 
 might have checked the torrent in its course or 
 called the eagle, wooing him to hear : 
 
 * Well do I know thee, 
 Hamlet of Danamark ! 
 Seldom was mortal, 
 Born to such sorrows 
 Never did mortal 
 D 
 
50 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 Grapple more bravely 
 With a grim destiny 
 Than thou art fated 
 To find in the future. 
 
 Hamlet, in the same staff-rhyme, but in Danish 
 skald-tone, which was his humble best, replied : 
 
 As to the swimmer, 
 A sea-wolf before him ; 
 As to the traveller, 
 Grimmest bear meeting ; 
 Or as the wren, 
 With the owl over her, 
 Is the foreboding 
 Of a great Norna 
 Unto the fated. 
 But when the Norna 
 Is Queen of all Beauty, 
 Mingling iron destiny 
 With golden compassion, 
 Giving the bitter 
 In honey well-coated ; 
 Gently and tenderly ; 
 Little the fated one 
 Recks what may happen. 
 Mishap and misfortune 
 Are meted to many, 
 Few among mortals 
 Ever escape them.] 
 If the All-Loveliest 
 Gives him her pity 
 He s to be envied. 
 
 Now as Flaxius was the politest man at heart on 
 the face of the earth, while the Fairy Queen was 
 incarnate politeness itself, this lyric, which had such 
 a charming accompaniment of courtesy as went 
 beyond music, made the most favourable impression. 
 And the Sage having, as court etiquette then re 
 quired, uttered his first words in metre, now ex 
 pressed himself plainly in prose, saying: 
 
FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 51 
 
 Beautiful Spirit of the Strangely Beautiful, who 
 alone givest to poetry the elfin-charm of Romance, 
 well do I ween that this young Prince of Denmark 
 is so entirely thy subject, and one so noble in truth 
 fulness, and so true in his devotion to thy charm, 
 that he has not uttered a word of flattery, in saying 
 that the direst misfortune of life seems to him to be 
 but a little thing, since he has gazed on thy face 
 and felt thy sympathy. And truly, unto any on 
 whom the Queen of Faerie and Romance has once 
 really smiled, this world and all its woes need seem 
 but a little thing, since it is perfect assurance of an 
 immortal life beyond. But, I pray thee, make this 
 clearer to him, that he may leave with a lighter 
 heart and be the better able to endure his fate ! 
 
 The queen, as if deeply reflecting and as deeply 
 moved, replied in gravely measured, softly modulated 
 voice : 
 
 * Nepenthe soothes the vulgar mind alone ; to the 
 higher soul unfading amaranth brings in time 
 forgetfulness of pain endured, and bestows keenest 
 enjoyment of the glory to come in the far future. 
 Romance and poetry in purity and power can bend 
 the decree of fate, and that boon I bestow on thee, 
 Hamlet, Prince of Denmark ! Listen, for I predict 
 that thy life shall be a poem and in days to come, 
 long after thy earthly sufferings shall be to thee as 
 naught, I will create my greatest work in the 
 Greatest Poet of Romance whom the world will 
 ever know. And he shall sing thy life in his 
 greatest song, and wherever on earth true poetry is 
 loved and known thou shalt be known and loved 
 with it. This can be done and this I swear to do. 
 Thine be the amaranth I can no more. In proof 
 
52 FLAXIUS AND HAMLET 
 
 whereof I place upon thy arm this golden ring of 
 amaranthine form. 
 
 And as she spoke, all seemed to fade before his 
 sight. Only to the last he felt deeply gazing into 
 his soul with infinite love and sympathy the violet 
 eyes of the Queen of Fairy-land and of Romance. 
 
 When he awoke it was early morning. He lay on 
 soft moss amid the crumbling ruins of the old 
 castle in sunlight, hearing bird-song all about him. 
 By his side sat the Sage. 
 
 * He would have thought it all a dream, 
 Save that upon his arm 
 Was bound the gift of the Fairy Queen : 
 Titania s wondrous charm. 
 
 Tcmpus est abeundi? quoth Flaxius. Tis time 
 for us to go ! But, litera scripta manet^ what is 
 written by fate will come to pass, O Hamlet, my 
 son, and dear and gracious Prince. Breakfast awaits 
 us, and I must think over what I am to say in my 
 lecture on the Emperor Titus. 
 
HOW FLAXIUS MADE THE 
 
 FORTUNE OF EADWARD THE 
 
 GRANDSON OF AEOLFRIC 
 
 It is wise for youth to bow to age s wisdom. Norse 
 Proverb. 
 
 For truth is one and right is ever one. Spenser s Faerie 
 Queene. 
 
 IT was in the very old time of merry England. In 
 the days when there was so much merriment among 
 those who were above the line of safety, and so 
 much misery for those who were below it as would 
 have appalled a modern sociologist. When a man 
 who was out of prison, and not positively starving 
 to death, contrived to be happy. When, according 
 to the testimony of all writers from Caedmon down 
 very nearly to Chaucer, there was such suffering 
 from all kinds of oppression among the poor as to 
 make the heart sick to think of it. Out of which very 
 time there has come to us such gay and festive song 
 and chording of harps, twanging of citterns, ringing 
 of goblets, gay hurrahing, archery, dancing round 
 maypoles and valentining as to make one thrill with 
 joy to think of it. For the only rule of life then 
 was : 
 
 Eat, drink, and be merry while ye can, 
 For to-morrow we ll perish, be sure, my man ; 
 Make the most of what fate will lend you, 
 Then go wherever the priest may send you ! ; 
 
 53 
 
54 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 And it was in the north, at a time when Anglo- 
 Saxon and Danish- Icelandic were beginning to be 
 English, and there was still much sound old heathen 
 ism in men s hearts, and witches rode over the mid 
 night sky, while fairies danced in moon-lit rings 
 below then it was, I say, that the immortal Flaxius 
 paused one fair day on his pedestrian path in 
 Northumberland. 
 
 A tall spreading forest there he found, 
 
 With a woodman at work mid oak-trees near, 
 The strokes of his axe broke the silence round, 
 Till the traveller called aloud, " Come here ! " ; 
 
 And he that was called came, and Flaxius looked 
 at him steadily ere he spoke, but with evident 
 approbation and interest. He was a young and lithe 
 but strong and vigorous man, handsome, almost to 
 beauty, in face, with a straight nose and a keen, dark 
 eye, in which there was indeed naught repulsive, but 
 something strange, such as one sees in the glances 
 of uncanny folk who know things of which they do 
 not speak to their neighbours. His dress was but 
 little superior to that of the ordinary peasant, but 
 there was something in the manner in which it was 
 worn, as well as in the bold mien, and almost grace 
 ful bearing of the youth, which indicated rank or 
 birth. 
 
 God be with ye ! said Flaxius to the woodman. 
 * I would fain rest here a while and chop a few words 
 with thee, so thou be not too busy with thy chopping 
 of wood. 
 
 Nay, replied the youth, with a quaint pursing of 
 the mouth, many strokes fell great oaks, and many 
 words bring merry jokes ; while as for the resting 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 55 
 
 never yet saw I the time when I would not pause to 
 listen to those who are wiser than I am : 
 
 " He who listeneth to eld, 
 Himself shall be in honour held." 
 
 As my grandfather was wont to teach me with 
 many a brave tale to prove it. 
 
 Thy grandfather, replied Flaxius, who had 
 meanwhile studied his face more attentively, was 
 Aeolfric Adelwit, whom men called the learned and 
 the traveller. 
 
 * By Freia ! I mean the Holy Virgin ! exclaimed 
 the youth astonished and delighted, thou art either 
 a wizard or one who knew him, and it may be, he 
 added, lowering his voice and looking round 
 suspiciously, ( perhaps a bit of both, for my grand 
 father who is now, I trust, in Valhall among the 
 heroes and sages I mean in heaven among the 
 saints was called a sorcerer by the fools here 
 abouts. 
 
 Flaxius smiled. Each looked at the other with 
 one eye closed ; the Sage shutting the right, and the 
 youth the left, which is the sign by which the 
 initiated of all grades recognise one another, and the 
 one generally used by Mahatmas and others in the 
 Karma business as it was by the augurs of yore 
 when there were true believers present or under 
 discussion. 
 
 I was even about to take my noon-day rest, said 
 the woodman, c and if it please you to partake my 
 poor meal thin cider and bread and bacon I would 
 it were for your sake wine and a capon ! 
 
 Knowest thou, O Eadward, grandson of Aeolfric, 
 said Flaxius solemnly, that whoever made a wish 
 
56 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 in that moment past at that special position of the 
 planets but unwittingly obtained it. Behold ! 
 
 And saying this he opened the basket which the 
 youth had taken from under a thicket, and opening 
 it drew forth a large cold roasted capon, a manchet 
 of bread, and a mighty flask, with fruit. 
 
 1 By the divine banquet of the boar Sahrimnir \ 
 I mean the Holy Supper ! cried the youth, thou 
 hast come in a lucky hour to get a snack, O blessed 
 traveller ! 
 
 I Therefore/ exclaimed Flaxius, producing a great 
 silver goblet from his pack, which he filled from the 
 flask, therefore, O my son, drink V And just then 
 the sunlight catching the stream awoke in it a 
 wide-spreading, ruddy gleam, and his whole face, yea 
 his very form, seemed to be bathed and steeped in 
 ruby, ruddy light, as a piece of red glass in a 
 cathedral window. And so he looked more like a 
 glorious Bacchus, or merry Jupiter, transfigured and 
 idealised into a gay glory in a sun-set sky, wherein 
 the early stars were piping merrily a roundelay for 
 vespers, and the clouds like fauns did cluster round 
 to hear. 
 
 I 1 have seen my grandfather, by Saint Eadward ! 
 said the youth, for once getting in a Christian 
 swear successfully, * draw good ale from a hole 
 bored in a beech-tree, which was thought to be a 
 wondrous sorcery I meant miracle by the folk 
 hereabout. But he never managed such a tap as 
 this I he exclaimed, as he took a pull, which might 
 have half emptied the Gialahorn, and would have 
 excited the envy of the Hornbruderschaft, or Hard- 
 Drinking Brotherhood, founded by the great Bishop 
 Johann von Manderscheit in the castle of Hoh-Barr. 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 57 
 
 And by Odin who was fed on wine alone ! (here 
 he balanced the religious equation), and like his 
 holy cup, it refills itself! 
 
 I bestow it on thee, Eadward, grandson of 
 Aeolfric, for thy grandsire s sake, said Flaxius ; and 
 it shall remain full, I swear, so long as thou remainest 
 an honest man, a true kind heart, friendly to those in 
 need, and a good, valiant, joyous drinker and bon 
 compagnon. Waes hael! he added, taking a 
 draught which was indeed pari passu with that of 
 Eadward s : 
 
 * Like and like do gladly greet, 
 Same with joy the same doth meet, 
 One good turn deserves another, 
 Therefore drink with me, O brother ; 
 Even as in days of yore, 
 Commodus, Rome s Emperor, 
 Drank his boon companions dumb : 
 Exsiiperantissimum \ 
 
 Trine haelT replied Eadward, with a look of 
 deep, steadfast, honest gratitude. And as I cannot 
 speak my thanks, O my greatest benefactor, there 
 fore do I drink them ! 
 
 Nor was the young Norse-Saxon, as he said this, 
 far unlike a jolly troll or faun himself, for the glowing 
 golden red of sun- and wine-light shone over him 
 and glinted in his hair, which was like waves of 
 topaz, hanging over his eyes and rolling down his 
 shoulders like a tufted oriole or aureole. 
 
 When autumn browneth wood on hill, 
 And the nights are growing chill, 
 Then upon ye wagon strong, 
 Ye see caskes borne along, 
 Black and foul without as sin, 
 Full of wine and ale within ; 
 
58 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 Red fire wine and golden ale, 
 Where from many drinken hale, 
 With merry song and minstrelsie : 
 As I do drink, all-heart, to thee ! 
 
 And he who had peeped into that shady dell on 
 that summer day and seen the pair, amid green 
 leaves gay, with the wondrous wizard aura or rich 
 flood of wine-light all round them, as they caroused 
 and sang, would have verily believed he saw two 
 joyous pagan sylvan gods who, hidden well away 
 behind the age, had met to live the gay old times 
 again. 
 
 And now tell me, Eadward, said Flaxius, to a 
 hair, how it goes with thee in life ? 
 
 My grandfather, as thou knowest/ replied the 
 youth, was learned, and had travelled in many 
 lands. He went to Norway, whence he never 
 returned. It was said that when King Olaf Trygg- 
 vason assembled all the wise men in the old 
 heathen religion in a house to which he set fire, and 
 in which they were burned alive, my grandsire also 
 perished. And it was a cursed deed, whoever did it. 
 Something of Latin and other lore I learned from 
 my grandfather, who bade me keep it ever a secret, 
 saying that " he is a fool who shows his lore to any 
 save to his superiors therein." But what land my 
 grandsire left, my father lost, so that all I have now 
 is a field and a wood and mine own arms. Yet with 
 some wit, and selling and trading cattle, I keep my 
 home, truly in no great style. 
 
 Flaxius mused and said, I knew thy grandfather, 
 and though he was not far advanced as a magian, 
 yet he had fairy blood from distant strain, and he 
 was, above all things, a good and honest man. And 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 59 
 
 it is among us a duty to aid the descendants of all 
 such men, when they are deserving. Now I will 
 help thee to help thyself; but note well, Eadward, 
 never in thy life didst thou so need every virtue as 
 thou wilt need them now to succeed. For this is 
 the usual secret of rising to Fortune. Some friend 
 puts our feet on the first step of the ladder, or guides 
 us to it, but we must climb the rest ourselves. 
 
 Something like this, said Eadward, did I once 
 hear from my grandfather : 
 
 " Look well round thee with thine eyes, 
 Where er thou art, if thou wouldst rise ; 
 It is not by a single flight, 
 But step by step we gain the height. 
 So up the tree the emmet goes, 
 Even as Rolf the Giver rose. " 
 
 Well sung, quoth Flaxius, and pass the cup ! 
 Now take this dried leaf. He gave to the youth 
 a doubled strip of parchment, like a thin book, in 
 which was indeed a leaf. 
 
 * To-night or to-morrow go, bathed and fasting, to 
 bed. Then eat this leaf and note what thou shalt 
 dream. Do exactly to a hair what thou mayst be 
 told to do nothing more nor less. After that all 
 will depend on thy own good sense, courage, and 
 kindness. And when one year shall have passed by 
 thou wilt see me again, to render count of all that 
 thou hast done. 
 
 So they parted with kind words, the youth to try 
 his fortune, and Flaxius, like Odin, ever onwards to 
 the North. 
 
 A year had passed, and the Immortal Sage sat in 
 a wild and adventurous-looking place, deep buried 
 
6o HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 amid lonely woods and cliffs, by a headlong torrent, 
 before the Odin-stone, a strangely shaped rock, 
 seeming like a Druidic megalith, through which 
 there was a hole of a foot in diameter. It was a 
 striking object, and Flaxius well knew it had a tale. 
 For he had been there and then. 
 
 He heard the trampling of a horse in the woods. 
 He looked up and saw a magnificent steed, on which 
 sat a knight in splendid attire. The rider dis 
 mounted ; it was Eadward ; and the two embraced. 
 
 * Yea, I have the flask, and it has never run dry, 
 said the youth, producing it. 
 
 That tells a good tale/ replied Flaxius. So they 
 filled and drank. * And now let me hear the details. 
 
 Make spede is a good rede/ replied the knight. 
 This is the story which I set before ye. 
 
 As you bade, I ate the leaf, and went to bed. 
 And in a dream there came to me a white lady or a 
 Norna. Such beauty did I never see before. And 
 she said, " Eadward, grandson of Aeolfric, go to 
 morrow to the Odin-stone, even where we now are, 
 and watch for one hour. Then do as thou wilt." 
 Word no more spake she, but vanished, and I awoke. 
 
 So I went with my cross-bow and knife to the 
 stone. And here I watched for one hour, yet I saw 
 nothing. Then, as I was about to go, I saw a strange 
 thing. For there came creeping through the hole in 
 the stone a fox. And such a fox I never saw before, 
 for it was of a beautiful tawny, soft, golden colour ; 
 and on it was a large black cross. And though I 
 was in awe, Something it seemed like a voice 
 bade me slay it. I did so, and skinned it, and 
 wrapped the skin and put it in my bag, and went 
 my way. 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 61 
 
 Now there is it may be half a day s walk from 
 here a rock on which Ulf the Dane, in olden time 
 after a great battle, had carved the image of a wolf, 
 with runic knots and letters, very curious to behold, 
 and there I paused a while to rest. And, anon, 
 there came to me a man, an outlander, as I weened ; 
 but he pleased me, and we held discourse. He was 
 not rich of apparel, but he had this horse here, and 
 a better I never saw ; for truly, by Sleipnir ! I 
 mean by the White Steed of Death seen by Saint 
 John ! there is not its like in all the land. 
 
 So we talked, and I gave him of my wine. And 
 we spake of elves and wizards and dreams. And 
 then he said, " I will tell thee a strange tale ; for 
 indeed it was a dream which brought me hither, 
 but, I fear, to little purpose and no good, as the 
 troll said of the long talk which ended by his being 
 turned to stone. 
 
 " And this," he said, " is sooth and truth." And 
 he sang : 
 
 " Unto King Ulfbrand 
 Thus spake the wise man, 
 He the deep learned 
 Servant of Frey : 
 * Danger is over thee, 
 Wild screaming war eagle 
 On the moss-grown tree, 
 By the white cataract, 
 Calleth on death to thee ! 
 And the claw of the bear 
 Has scratched runes on the beech-tree ; 
 And thy realm will be lost 
 Unless thon winnest 
 The skin of a fox 
 Of colour pale golden, 
 With a black cross. 3 
 
 " Now the king was sore afraid, and offered his 
 
62 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 daughter to any of his nobles who could win him the 
 prize. And I, with small hope, asked a witch, one 
 whom I had greatly befriended yea, saved her life 
 and given her shelter. And she studied her spells 
 seven days and nights with great pain, and then bid 
 me obey my first dream. And I dreamed that I 
 should trust in and abide by a wolf for three days. 
 And coming here by chance I heard this rock called 
 the Wolf ; and so at hap-hazard here I have remained, 
 but nothing has come of it, and I fear me that 
 nothing will." 
 
 Then it came into my mind/ said Eadward, 
 hearing this, that I myself should go to King Ulf- 
 brand and win a great reward. And yet again that 
 this would be foul play to the man before me, and 
 that thou, Flaxius, didst bid me to be generous and 
 true. So I prayed in my soul to all the gods. 
 
 ( And a sweetly-mixed mythology thou hast, my 
 dear boy ! reflected Flaxius.) 
 
 And then said to the man, taking the skin from 
 my bag: " Is not this what thou seekest? Take it 
 in God s name, for I believe it should be thine." 
 
 * Then he turned white and red for joy and amaze 
 ment, and said : 
 
 * " I will not haggle and cheapen with thee like a 
 pedler, for ill fate befalls the man who is mean in 
 buying such things. All that I have in this world, 
 save my land, is this horse and ten gold pieces and 
 I give them to thee, and I would I had more." So 
 I took his horse, but I gave him two gold pieces for 
 his journey as fare-gold, and so he went his way. 
 
 But I rode on, unthinking and wondering 
 whether I had done wisely, yet hoping hard as did 
 Gautrek when he fought the bear. When, following 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 63 
 
 a road, I came upon a horse which had been 
 hard ridden, with bloody sides. It seemed to be 
 dying, and yet anon, a furlong further in the woods, 
 I found a noble knight, lying by a brook, who seemed 
 in as evil case as the horse, for he was sore-bruised 
 and could hardly move, and barely speak. 
 
 * Then I asked him what it meant and he replied 
 in pain : 
 
 " For two days I have fled before a band of foe- 
 men who will be here anon. And they seek my life." 
 
 Then I gave him to drink from thy flask, O 
 master, and verily it was a marvellous thing to 
 behold how it revived him. For he rose up and 
 said : 
 
 "Had I thy horse I might even yet escape. There 
 are men who would fight thee for it, but thou hast, 
 I think, saved me with thy wine and I will do 
 naught in dishonour. But if thou lovest God and 
 hast man s faith in truth, I pray thee lend me thy 
 steed, and it will be no loss to thee." 
 
 As he spoke I heard far away a sound as of a 
 mountain brook, and I knew it was men riding at 
 full speed, and as it became like a clatter of hail and 
 wind, I cried : 
 
 c " Take another drink of wine and mount my horse 
 in the names of Odin and Christ, and ride for thy 
 life ! " 
 
 And he did, but paused to draw a ring from his 
 finger and say : 
 
 * " Three days ride to the west lies the castle of 
 my father the Earl of Ellaborne. If thou canst, 
 carry to him what is in the mail on my horse. Show 
 him this ring, and repeat the word Truth three 
 times." 
 
64 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 And with that he was off like an arrow and he 
 had good cause to ride, for ere I could have counted 
 a hundred, there came a band of riders fierce as 
 wolves, who asked me if I had seen a knight pass 
 that way. Now they had not seen the foundered 
 horse, for they came by another path. And not 
 being minded that they should slay the knight, I 
 delayed them while I could, giving them to drink, 
 and then showed them the wrong road, for between 
 a lie and a die, or a man s life, there J s short choice. 
 
 Now when I returned to the horse, I, being some 
 what learned in such matters, found him in better 
 case than I deemed. And having poured wine 
 down his throat, and cared for him, and given him 
 rest, he was soon in good case to ride. And there 
 was in the mails much gold, and certain parchments 
 which I had lore enough to discern were great state 
 matters for the king, and I saw that I had come 
 into affairs of life and death for all the land. 
 
 And minding the proverb: "He must be a thin 
 blade who would slip between great stones," I went 
 by the loneliest ways, in dark valleys and woodlands 
 wild, till I got to Ellaborne Castle. And there was 
 mourning and all were in dire distress, weeping and 
 heart-sunken, because the old lord had heard his 
 son was slain. But when I arrived with the horse, 
 which was known to all, there was mighty to-do, and 
 great questioning, but I spoke word to none, till I 
 was brought before the great earl, and it was 
 pitiful to see how broken and sorrowful he seemed. 
 
 1 " And thou hast come to prove to me that my son 
 was truly slain, hast thou not," he inquired, " since 
 thou hast brought his horse?" 
 
 "Nay," I replied, "by Odin and Frey who brings 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 65 
 
 fortune ! I know he escaped alive and well, for when 
 I last saw him he was galloping away on a safe 
 road, mounted on the best steed in Northumbria, 
 with his pursuers on the wrong track. 
 
 " Man ! " cried the earl, " if what thou sayest be 
 sooth, and if thou didst aid him to escape, and 
 saved his life, then, by God s glory, thou shalt have 
 castle and lands if thou canst prove it." 
 
 " For the proof, O my lord," I answered, " here 
 are the papers and gold." 
 
 "Ah, the papers!" cried the earl. "By the 
 splendour of the Virgin, though I love my son better 
 than my own life, I had liefer he had died than that 
 those papers had been found by the enemy. What 
 is thy name ? Eadward know that this day thou 
 hast saved England ! " 
 
 " The proof, my lord," I said, as I gave him the 
 ring, " is this and the words, Truth, Truth, Truth ! 
 And know of a truth, for I will swear it in any 
 shrine, that I did not save thy son s life for gold, or 
 fee, or aught promised or hoped for, save the price 
 of my horse, nor would I have stuck at that to keep 
 a goodly knight from being murdered." 
 
 " True as gold art thou," said the old lord, " and of 
 good blood, for now I know thou art the grandson 
 of Aeolfric, who was noble, but poor as he was 
 learned." 
 
 Then he heard the whole tale from me and 
 said : 
 
 "Thou hast this day built up the fortune of thy 
 house. And if the king do not raise thee to 
 honour, I will." 
 
 But the king treated me nobly, and the end 
 thereof was that I am a belted knight, and lord of 
 
 E 
 
66 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 castles and broad lands, for I went into the war, and 
 fate favoured me, and now I have wealth and fame. 
 And I have wedded a niece of the Earl of Ella- 
 borne, whom I love better for herself than for her 
 possessions. All of which, Master, I owe to thee ; 
 and thanks are all I can give to such a mighty 
 master of fate as thou art, but if I could give thee 
 my life I would. 
 
 I believe thee, my son, replied Flaxius. But 
 what became of the young earl ? 
 
 * He saved himself, and we are now as brothers. 
 Yea, he continued with a smile, to him alone 
 have I confided the holy secret of the Miraculous 
 Bottle/ 
 
 God-a-mercy, exclaimed Flaxius ; * tis well 
 there s not a headache in a hogshead of it, else 
 I trow ye had toped yourselves into Hela, or up 
 to Valhall. To fancy two young Norse-Saxons with 
 an unlimited well of wine is terrible ! 
 
 But, let us drink ! 
 
 Hac fabula docet this fable teaches, annotated 
 the master, a marked moral lesson, which is greatly 
 needed at this present day, and which no man has 
 as yet taught. It befell about thirty years ago, 
 when people began to doubt the ancient doctrine 
 of so much pudding here on earth for so much piety, 
 always punctually paid, that divers young scape 
 graces of the press, who wished to appear, as 
 Verdant Greens always do, interestingly wicked 
 and sceptical, began to write comicas fabulas or 
 merry tales, wherein the little good boys all came 
 to grief; as, for instance, how Master Benjamin 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 67 
 
 Benevolence gave his penny to an old nigger and 
 earned a whipping from his mother for so doing. 
 
 These writers left out of sight the great fact, 
 that, because there may not be a Moral Providence 
 which keeps a book account to a farthing with all 
 mortals, it still by no means follows that there is 
 no decency, honour, or honesty, or moral retribution 
 left among mankind, as their immensely funny tales 
 would lead the heedless to believe. For, bad as 
 this world may be, there are still gentlemen extant, 
 in dealing with whom the current moral standards 
 of Mark Lane, Houndsditch, Wall Street, the Stock 
 Exchange, and similar dens of sharps and sharks 
 may well be laid aside. There are still men who 
 reciprocate generosity with generosity, and the 
 devilish shrewd fellow is to them a natural object 
 of aversion. Because they know that he who cannot 
 be done will infallibly do his best friend in the long 
 run ; and the man who is cheat-proof is a miraculous 
 exception if he be not a cheat himself. In short, 
 that it is more creditable to be taken in than to take 
 others in, the which statement, when made by me to 
 a young lady from Toronto, was received with the 
 astonished remark, Well, that is a new idea ! 
 
 Now it befell the young hero of this tale, or 
 Eadward, to have to deal with only honest or 
 honourable men, and he did exactly what was right 
 under every circumstance, the result being that he 
 was promptly rewarded, showing that virtue is not 
 always punished, as current literature inculcates. 
 And if there were one hundredth part of the pains 
 taken to teach youth the vast superiority of honour 
 to wealth, which there is to stimulate them to 
 acquire the latter, then we should indeed find far 
 
68 HOW FLAXIUS MADE 
 
 more gentlemen in the world, and, in due proportion, 
 due reward for decency. And there is many a 
 millionaire who would give half his money to be 
 a gentleman, a man of true honesty and nobility of 
 soul ; but there was never yet one who was truly 
 of the latter who would exchange aught with the 
 former. For whatever the vast multitude of howling 
 cads may think, the gentleman is the superior in that 
 in which he ought to excel ; and this superiority or 
 moral mastery is better worth having than carriages, 
 opera-box, and a fashionable family, who wish you 
 were dead for your money. 
 
 And this lesson that there may be circum 
 stances in life when the sharp game is not the best, 
 and when the very shrewdest would come to grief, 
 unless guided by natural generosity and nobility- 
 deserves to be deeply studied by the world in 
 general, and sharp Americans in particular, to judge 
 by my personal experiences of both. 
 
 And I would that the novelist and literary man, 
 and all who write for the public, would teach 
 this thing in spirit and in truth, if they can with 
 real sympathy, and not go on for ever as most 
 ay, the very utmost of the most do preaching it 
 in a formal, listless, be virtuous and you will be 
 happy way, while they depict the advantages of 
 wealth and the merest mammon varnished with 
 fashion and style, with all the gush and fire and 
 power of art which they possess. But a book written 
 with earnestness, setting forth genially that honneur 
 passe richesse^ is as yet among the curiosities, yea, 
 the rariora of literature. There is indeed no lack 
 of authors who say this thing, and who think perhaps 
 they mean it ; but they do not send it home to the 
 
THE FORTUNE OF EADWARD 69 
 
 heart, nor prove it, nor illustrate it, so as to awaken 
 in the mind of the reader a deep sympathy for 
 honour as compared to wealth. No, not one, as 
 they should and perhaps could do. 
 
 For it does not occur to you, O dearly beloved, 
 that all these infinite scenes of flirtation in Belgravia 
 or Cameliadom, showing how She would, and then 
 wouldn t, and then was incomprise, and anon cap 
 ricious or top-lofty-minded, or interesting and mys 
 terious-miserable, and how He, pauvre malheureux ! 
 with his gnawed moustachios and dreadful devotion, 
 are all nothing but the direct results of too much 
 money and its consequent idleness or ennui. And 
 the other ways of plot-making, and interesting the 
 reader, are, with few exceptions indeed, all cakes 
 from the same dough. Therefore am I reminded 
 of the French author s recipe for a novel : Com 
 mences toujours avec un million. 
 
 And as it seems to me that literature for the 
 multitude can hardly sink lower than it has done 
 into this swamp of wealth of late years, I have hope 
 that it will ere long begin to rise. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 Out of mere mischief and mockery grew evil, even as Loki 
 from playing boyish tricks became the devil. To do evil is 
 one thing, to study and understand it is another, but in all 
 ages men have confused the two. 
 
 TWAS on a Syrian summer afternoon, therefore a 
 warm one, that Flaxius sat in the silent solitude of a 
 ruined city of most ancient days, in Midian, a place 
 wherein the satyr has not even yet met the English 
 tourist, nor the Egipani, or demons of the lonely 
 wildnesses, been called to stand and deliver statistics 
 to the German savant. 
 
 He sat on a wedge-inscripted stone, about a young 
 bird s flight from what had been of yore a purple- 
 lined palace of sweet sin, but so tremendous in 
 its majesty, even in decay and decency, that the 
 sternest Puritan who ever iconoclasted a cathedral 
 would have thought twice ere ravishing this House 
 of Baal. 
 
 Beauty, said Flaxius, * may be its own excuse 
 for being very naughty but grandeur, even when 
 touching in its old decay, is more than an excuse ; 
 it is a vindication for the sins, however great, of all 
 who are possessed of it. And they were great in glory 
 and splendour ! How great the men were who dwelt 
 here in the olden golden time ! and how little idea 
 has any man on earth in this age of small things, of 
 
 70 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 71 
 
 what it was to live in greatness, though it were in 
 great delusions. 
 
 As he said this twas in the first dimness of 
 twilight a breeze began to stir the palms and he 
 heard the hoot of an owl, which was re-echoed far 
 and far away by the monotonous and much more 
 unmusical song of some Arab peasant at his plough. 
 
 I would like to know, quoth Flaxius, whether 
 the song of the owl portends the death of that peasant, 
 or the song of the peasant the death of the owl ? 
 Methinks the owl has the worst of it, for the plough 
 man hoots fifty per cent, more horribly. Now, of 
 the nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine 
 divinations invented by Kai Umarat, the first of the 
 Magi, and first born of Adam, can I not find one 
 here at hand to settle the weighty question ? 
 
 As he said this, while idly digging in the sand 
 with his staff, he struck something hard, which 
 shining, seemed to be of bronze. The sage picked 
 it up and found he had unearthed an axe of the 
 richest and deepest green patina. 
 
 Just the thing/ thought Flaxius. Thou comest, 
 as Germans say, " unto the call." It was by Axio- 
 mancy or the balanced axe that the ancients were 
 wont to decide a question halfpence to toss not 
 having been then invented ; and I can bear Pliny out 
 in his assertion that the game was extremely fashion 
 able. In neolithic days they drew a circle, bisected 
 it with a line, put the kelt in the middle, and made 
 it spin, inferring from the way it pointed when at 
 rest whether Yes or No had been vouchsafed. The 
 thing still exists as a little game among American 
 Red Indians. They spun on their axes, ^mde nomen 
 derivatur. The Romans hung the hatchet with a 
 
72 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 cord ; and if I remember aright, Francesco della 
 Torre Biana 1 declares that the fall of Jerusalem was 
 thus predicted. I wonder who predicted it ? 
 
 Whether it was from the ground, or the tombs, or 
 the ruins, or the great palm-tree was not apparent, 
 but there was heard a hollow sound like no earthly 
 voice, but a sound as of wings. There was a 
 mocking tone in it which said : 
 
 /, with that axe which thou holdest in thy hand. 
 
 And who in the name of Desolation art thou who 
 dwellest here in solitude? inquired Flaxius. 
 
 And the voice replied : 
 
 Aschmodai. 
 
 What ! Asmodeus, the Devil on two Sticks ! 
 Well, old friend, I was a fool to put the question, for 
 I now remember (and Wierus has said it) that thou 
 art the demon of all games and gambling. I would 
 fain see thee again. What ho, Chammadai ! Sidonai ! 
 Aschmodai, appear! In the name of thy master 
 Am-oimon ! 
 
 Thou forgettest/ replied the Voice,more mockingly 
 than before, that according to the P seudomonarchia 
 Damonum, he who invokes Asmodeus must stand 
 firmly on his legs and call loudly. 
 
 Well, replied the Magian, I am seated firmly 
 sur mon sfant, which will do just as well, sans 
 ceremonie among old friends, and since thou hearest 
 me it is loud enough. Come forth, I say ! 
 
 And, lo ! there came forth from the doorway of 
 the ruined temple an unearthly form, in appearance 
 awful and appalling, but so strangely mingled 
 with the grotesque, a demon with the laugh 
 ing nightmare, that the wisdom of this our age, 
 
 1 Epistola delict, sive de Magia, lib. i. cap. 24. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 73 
 
 and all its art of pen or pencil would have failed to 
 depict it. 
 
 It paused in silence, seeming like a statue, and 
 when the Magian himself spoke, it was not in words 
 but with Thought to the arch-demon of delusion and 
 of mockery : 
 
 * I see thee as thou art, O Spirit, who wert once 
 mighty to impose on man in so many forms, O 
 stupendous scarecrow of the past, and its jester withal, 
 for the day is wellnigh gone by when mankind at 
 large can grasp thy paradoxes ! Yea, they are rapidly 
 becoming a vexation, or a bore, or a trifle, as the 
 idol of the past becomes the nursery toy of the 
 present. 
 
 Truly, there was a time when Dante and Milton 
 and many more were, to every word, living truths 
 for all who read them, and the form was animated 
 with the idea. Now, the Inferno burns no more, Pan 
 demonium and Theism and Satan are all mere senile 
 fables. What remains is the art of the poet nothing 
 more a beautiful, petrified figure very beautiful 
 but dead. And thy spirit, O Daemon, in its best 
 meaning, still lives in Aristophanes and Shakespeare 
 and Chaucer, and Rabelais and Villon ; but the com 
 prehension of it is dying dying fast, O Daemon ! 
 and ere long they too will be petrifactions, wearing 
 indeed the outward semblance of what they were, 
 but from them life will be gone. Men think that they 
 still enjoy the poet in spirit and in truth, but what 
 they really enjoy is only their own criticisms and 
 sense of vain intelligence and with that the signs 
 of death begin. For where intelligence and self- 
 knowledge awaken, feeling for that which is without 
 us ceases. It was never meant that man should 
 
74 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 enjoy at once the two extremes of pleasure even 
 as the Catholic moral casuist determined that man 
 could not combine the extreme of passionate love 
 with the holy sweetness of relationship. Yes, the 
 humour and absurdity, and wild contrast which was 
 the deepest problem in human nature, become 
 before criticism a poor shadowy thing. And thus 
 endeth the first lesson. Let me look a while longer 
 into thy eyes, O Daemon, and find a second. 1 
 
 And yet anon to Flaxius, as he gazed on the 
 form, it was as if he were looking through some 
 wondrous arch into a Vanity fairy-land, and, advanc 
 ing, saw at every step newer and stranger arches, 
 richly and wildly adorned ; through which, as in a 
 marvellous vista, he beheld Infernos, Paradises, 
 Fiddler s Greens, Edens, Tom Tiddler s grounds, con 
 vents. These he knew were lupanars, witch-burnings 
 at which holy men sang hymns to God, martyrdoms 
 for smoke, or the toss of a farthing, millions killed 
 in battles for quarrels about things which had no 
 existence, men and women tortured to death for 
 not believing in nothing but a farce ages following 
 ages, all mad with lies against Nature. And busy in 
 it all was the spirit Aschmodai or Asmodeus, whose 
 business it is on earth to turn chance to mischief, 
 to inspire all the manias and follies and delusions 
 which make men fools in every way, and awaken in 
 them vanity and error. And it was no wonder that, 
 as he beheld him, something like a vision or a song 
 swept through the soul of Flaxius. For this was He 
 
 Who grappled once with mighty Solomon, 
 And cast him from his throne, and then in turn 
 Was fettered heavily and made to work 
 On the great temple of Jerusalem, 
 To which he gave its last magnificence 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 75 
 
 Beyond the monarch s hope, yet jeered at all ; 
 
 Yea, at his chains as at his victory ; 
 
 And who, as he was borne in fetters thus, 
 
 When all men deemed him sunk in deep despair, 
 
 Burst out a-laughing. " Wherefore art thou glad ?" 
 
 Inquired a sage. He answered, " Lo, I laughed, 
 
 Because I saw a conjurer in the street, 
 
 Who promised unto all his dupes to tell 
 
 Where buried treasure lay, yet never knew 
 
 That such a treasure lay beneath his feet, 
 
 Even as he spoke during his conjuring." 
 
 He too it was of old who tempted Job : 
 
 Nay, there are Rabbis who maintain to-day 
 
 Twas he who as the Serpent tempted Eve, 
 
 Not out of evil but from mockery, 
 
 Deeming the Tree and all a mighty joke, 
 
 The farce primaeval, out of which has grown 
 
 A thousand-farced series which men call 
 
 The History of Man which were indeed 
 
 A mighty jest to devils, as the frogs 
 
 Were to the boys of old and might be too 
 
 Unto the baratrachians, were not 
 
 The pebbles which are cast, so sharp and large, 
 
 Yes, in a thousand times ten thousand forms, 
 
 As mocking devil, or as god supreme, 
 
 Asmodeus is known unto the world. 
 
 * Do not forget/ said Asmodeus, my last albeit 
 my weakest and most stagey and shallow incarna 
 tion the Mephistopheles of Goethe. Yet he made 
 me say one good thing, when I call myself, "der 
 Geist der stets verneint" Do you know what verneint 
 means? for if you do, you know more than most 
 folk. 
 
 * I opine, said Flaxius, that it means " denies." 
 
 That, and something more/ laughed Asmodeus. 
 * Verneinen meant, of yore, also to enchant, con 
 jure, bewitch, or humbug. Cest mon metier , I cast 
 a spell on every work of man, and make thereof in 
 time a mockery all mockery is denial in the end 
 denial is the bringing all to naught. 
 
 1 Truly, from thy point of view thou hast seen 
 
76 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 rare jests in thy time, Aschmodai, said Flaxius. A 
 history of the world, written by thee, with com 
 ments, would be amusing reading as would the 
 review thereof in the Presbyterian and I could find it 
 in my heart to wish a plague on ye both, did I not 
 know that there are some grains of truth between ye. 
 
 Ay, I should catch it hot beyond a doubt, 
 replied Asmodeus, for the less intellect a man has 
 the more he believes in it, and is therefore the more 
 furious with those who mock the sublime wisdom in 
 whose army he is a corporal. But what thinkest 
 thou, Flaxius, of Thought ? 
 
 * I read not long ago, replied the Sage, * an essay 
 by a she-philosopher, who said that as we ever 
 deeper go into the subtlest mystery of things, the 
 more impossible it still becomes not to perceive an 
 action as of mind, working co-relative with natural 
 law. The good girl left out of sight the small fact 
 that thought and natural law maybe one in Nirvana. 
 It is a marvellous, apparent law that man is not 
 allowed to solve the problem as yet ; could he do so 
 he would settle down into superstition or atheism 
 both unprogressive. 
 
 Ay, quoth Asmodeus, thought and natural law 
 now carry one another alternately. See the boys in 
 Florence when they play at scaricabarile. One boy, 
 back to back with a rival, locks arms with him, and 
 so they lift each other up and down. 1 Tis a game 
 much resembling polemics, because in it both of 
 the combatants whether lifting or lifted appear 
 by turns ridiculous. 
 
 1 Scaricabarili , unloading barrels. Ludus est puerilis qui r "a 
 duobus tantum peragitur. Alter enim alteri terga vertunt, brachiis- 
 que mutuo implicates, se alter alterum vicissim humo tollunt. Unde 
 significare volentes duos alterum in alterum alicujus peccati culpam 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 77 
 
 Ah, well/ replied Flaxius, it is a vigorous game, 
 and developes muscle, as does all struggling. Out 
 of peaceful parthenogenesis and idleness, starvation, 
 and the struggle for life, evolve energy and male 
 strength, intellect, and will. But, Aschmodai, what 
 thinkst thou more of Thought. 
 
 * Though I was one of the very first thoughts 
 ever thought, if not the first itself, as many think/ 
 replied the Spirit, * the answer to that question is still 
 unto me a mystery. Yet as we see that in life the 
 crystal precedes the flower, or organic growth, 
 monsters come before man, Egyptian pyramids 
 before Greek and Gothic grace, barbarism before 
 enlightenment, so do I deem that natural law pre 
 ceded thought and involuntary action will, which 
 was first, creatingness or a creator. With the first 
 motion in matter came the first act, in the unorganic 
 the organic was born ; but how this was it knew not, 
 nor do we know, O my Flaxius, for truly there is an 
 immense amount of things which it would be better 
 for man to look after before he afflicts his small soul 
 with the problem of the egg and the hen. But so 
 long as man shall make a fool of himself, either as 
 atheist, theist, or agnostic waiting to see how the 
 fight will turn, so that he, the Mugwump of faith, 
 may join the conqueror even so long shall I, 
 Aschmodai, live in glory and triumph. This trinity 
 has been my very life, even as alchemy drew from 
 the spirit of the three its elixir vitce. And mighty 
 have been the mockeries and many the jests which I 
 
 refundere dicimus : Efanno a scaricabarili. Inter hoc autem et illud 
 de quo supra : Far<> a scaricalasino, ea est differentia quod hoc signi- 
 ficat alterum in alterum culpam suam rejicere ; illud vero simpliciter 
 alicujus criminis culpam a se dimovere. Angeli Monosinii Floris 
 Italicce Lingua Libri Novem, A.D. 1604. 
 
;8 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 have drawn from it, nor is the merriment as yet 
 quite o er albeit I know that I am perishing and 
 passing with the Triad fast away. Oh, it was 
 glorious to behold the Jew the original inventor of 
 man s vilest vanity, Chauvinism or national pride, 
 who first created religious oppression, and believed 
 with Rabbi Jochanan that, " as the best of serpents 
 deserves to have its head crushed, so the best of 
 Gentiles ought to be killed " tis sweet, I say, to live 
 to hear him raise the martyr s cry, even as the Pope 
 is now raising it "the po-oo-r Pope" as a prisoner 
 in the Vatican ! Then were the discoverers of the 
 art of Martyrdom avenged by seeing the humblest 
 among them made the gods of the oppressors ; and 
 so Men all rolled on into time, burning and torturing 
 millions, especially old women, for the love of Him 
 whose one great doctrine was mercy, charity, love, 
 and sweetness. Then there were revolts of the 
 oppressed, and peasants wars and gladiators revolts, 
 and French Revolutions alternate black and white 
 and in it all hell throve, and I laughed. 
 
 But thou art dying. 
 
 Well, my Flaxius, I have had a call. Thou 
 rememberest the tale of the Three Warnings, or how 
 Death promised a man that he should be signalled 
 thrice ere called away. So he became lame and deaf 
 and blind these were the three. 
 
 And when was thy first warning ? 
 
 * When Christ preached unconditional altruism 
 unto mankind cosmopolitanism and equality. That 
 lamed me. 
 
 4 And the second ? 
 
 When a Hindu set up a religion on the word 
 Sikh. It means, u seek ! " What goes beyond faith, 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 79 
 
 unbelief, or uncertainty is to inquire and search and 
 seek for truth. So I was deafened by that awful cry. 
 
 And the third? 
 
 Aristotle, Friar Bacon, Francis Bacon, Darwin, 
 Induction, Evolution. That will soon finish me. 
 But the first blow was the worst, and I knew it. I 
 bore up well, and made a gallant fight, but I am 
 dying. Vicisti, Galilceel 
 
 As he spoke, the full golden Syrian moon shone 
 o er their heads in an unclouded sky, a gentle breeze 
 was wantoning in the palms, yet from afar there 
 came a jackal s cry, and then the booming of a lion s 
 roar. 
 
 I shall pass away, my Flaxius, but I shall live 
 again in some form ; evil or good, my spirit cannot 
 die. For there is a good in me a good of strength 
 and while matter casts a shadow, or contrasts and 
 paradoxes exist, I shall be. All in a softened form 
 I well previse. As the sun which set is followed by 
 yonder moon, so shall I be softer, and yet as eternal. 
 When God shall assume a higher form, I shall inherit 
 the old throne and sceptre. 
 
 Yes, replied Flaxius, it well may be. Shelley 
 and sundry other inspired lunatics had that idea; 
 twas known to the Greeks, not without thy aid, O 
 Aschmodai ! For thou hast always thrown doubt 
 and a fine frenzy and confusion over all great 
 truths. 
 
 Recte dixistiy thou speakest truly, answered 
 Aschmodai. Had all been all at once, nothing had 
 ever been. Son Flaxius, thou too art a moon, and 
 thou art my son ; but thou wouldst fain enjoy the 
 paradox without the pain. As the old hard-griping 
 peasant grows rich, unheeding of what misery he 
 
80 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 makes, while his cultured heir grows gentle and 
 amiable, so wilt thou, and the world which has been 
 enriched by the past, grow milder. Le diable est 
 mort vive le diable ! 
 
 H<zcfabula docetj penned the sage, that men, with 
 all their wisdom, do not train their wondrous power 
 of putting numbers together to make sums, or the 
 faculty of deduction, by means of which stupendous 
 results of prophecy may be attained. This might 
 be increased to a degree which would seem to us 
 miraculous. Edgar A. Poe had strange intuitions 
 of what might be in his theory that he who observes 
 all antecedents and possible combinations may surely 
 foresee consequences. 
 
 And, as his name reminds me, Poe mentions 
 that at Palaechosi, in Sparta, there is existent 
 on a stone an inscription L.A.S.M., which is pro 
 bably a part of GELASMA or Laughter, indicat 
 ing a shrine to the merry god. Apropos of which 
 M. Marcel Schwob remarks that laughter is destined 
 to die away with advancing culture. " It is," 
 he declares, " a mere tic, a gross physical mani 
 festation of the perception of disharmony in the 
 world, which will vanish before complete scepticism, 
 absolute science, general pity, or intolerance of 
 suffering and respect for all things." This idea 
 should assuredly please Anglo-Americans, among 
 whom, while a sense of humour increases, the laugh 
 diminishes, till we generally find in their greatest 
 jesters men who never laugh at all. 
 
 But M. Schwob errs in his Essai de Paradoxe 
 sur le Rire, when he declares that this species of 
 contraction of the zygomatic muscles is peculiar to 
 
FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 81 
 
 man, it having been an indication of his feeble in 
 telligence and the conviction of his own superiority. 
 The Newfoundland dog laughs at times, and that 
 with an expression which is completely human. I 
 had heard of this several times before I witnessed 
 it, and also heard that the expression, though droll, 
 was so uncanny in a dog as to awaken something 
 like awe, as I, indeed, experienced. These dogs 
 have a keen sense of humour, entering with in 
 telligence into the games and romps of boys. 
 But the error of M. Schwob, as well as that of 
 Matthew Arnold, is to believe that seriousness or 
 mere gravity is essential to genius. The French 
 writer is of opinion that laughter expresses only 
 sneers, sarcasms, vanity, and short-witted scepticism. 
 It means far more than this to greater minds. As 
 the Schwobian view is diabolical, so is there, on the 
 other hand, a divine humour, a sweet and sacred 
 gelasma, which we only do not associate with sacred 
 things and grandeur, simply because we know 
 nothing about their true inner nature and are not 
 at home there. There is a sweet laughter of inno 
 cence, purity and youth, in which a smile always 
 irradiates the face, lighting it to higher beauty. Is 
 not a smile divine? Is not all beauty as the smile 
 of God in nature? And there is also a bitter smile 
 a sardonic laugh the very life of Aschmodai, and 
 the meaning of this chapter is that this laugh is 
 vanishing in the world, and with it the brutal bray 
 and idiotic yawp and silly snigger of the vulgar 
 mind ; but that the merry musical laugh of the 
 gentle heart, and the smile divine which thrills the 
 heart of love like wine, will remain to man, after 
 asinine seriousness shall have vanished for ever. 
 
 F 
 
82 FLAXIUS AND ASMODEUS 
 
 Tis a delicate thing to draw the lines which 
 divide the gold from the dross, and show how the 
 harsh humour will be neglected in Shakespeare and 
 Rabelais, as theology is dropped from our admiration 
 of Dante, but all of them will live in so far as the 
 angelic smile beams in them. 
 
 Note that had this world been without variable 
 ness or the shadow of turning, darkness and light, 
 or night and day, rise and fall, it had not been at 
 all ; and that, while there shall be change and con 
 trast and evolution, or nature itself, there will be 
 humour, which is the soul and life of laughter, and 
 though it has been easily checked in this priggish 
 fin de siecle (when dolts have wellnigh got the upper 
 hand, and dismal dulness shadows all the land) yet 
 with the great coming Renaissance of Nature, which 
 is just beginning to show under the aid of science, 
 as the morning redness comes with the rising sun, 
 men will laugh merrily once more, not in bitterness, 
 but in love. 
 
FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 
 
 OR, THE GOBLIN OF THE TOWER BELLA 
 TRINITA, BY THE PORTA SAN NICCOLO. 
 
 They do not speak as mortals speak, 
 Nor sing as others sing : 
 Their words are gleams of starry light, 
 Their songs the glow of sunset bright : 
 Or meteors on the wing. 
 
 THE following story belongs to this book in good 
 faith of all sorts/ be it salted, pickled or sugared ; 
 since it was originally the first ever recorded of the 
 great and good Flaxius. But as it was of Florence, 
 Florentiny, so, following the saying, first come, 
 first served, and being engaged on The Legends of 
 Florence^ in which book the lovers of romance 
 and the occult will find many a rare treat, showing 
 how all Florence is a charmingly haunted city 
 therefore did I first introduce the sage in it to the 
 world. 
 
 And in the introduction I said that the legend is 
 of great antiquity, since there is a hint of it in an 
 ancient Hebrew work by Rabbi ben Mozel-toff, or 
 the learned Rev Gedauler Chamar, besides being 
 found in poetic form in my own great work The 
 Music Lesson of Confucius ; also in a marvellous caba 
 listic manuscript which I bought in sight of Santa 
 
 1 Legends of Florence , 2 vols. : London, D. Nutt. 
 
84 FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 
 
 Maria Novella, which describes how the Bathkol, or 
 Daughter of the Voice, may be caused to be heard 
 within our soul, and teach us all kinds of magic. 
 
 Money is the root of all evil, and Flaxius, who 
 went to the root of everything, of course wanted it. 
 How he often got it is set forth as follows : 
 
 FLAXIUS AND THE ROSE 
 
 MIDNIGHT was ringing from the cloister of San 
 Miniato in Florence on the hill above, and Flaxius 
 sat by the Arno down below, on the bank, by the 
 square grey tower of other days, known as the 
 Niccolo, or Torre delta Trinita because there are in 
 it three arches. . . . 
 
 It was midnight in mid-winter and a full moon 
 poured forth all its yellow light over Florence as if 
 it would fain preserve it in oil or amber and over 
 the olive groves till they looked in the distance like 
 moss-agates in topaz. 
 
 Or I, quoth Flaxius, to carry out the simile, * like 
 a fly in hock ! 
 
 Yes, it was a clear, cold Tuscan night, and as the 
 last peal of bells went out into Eternity and faded 
 in the Irrevocable, thousands of spirits of the de 
 parted began to appear, thronging like fire-flies in 
 June, through the streets, visiting their ancient 
 haunts and homes, shops and shades, greeting, 
 gossiping or arranging their affairs just as the 
 peasants do on Friday in the great place of the 
 Signoria as they have done for centuries. 
 
 Flaxius looked at the rolling river which went 
 rushing by at his feet, and said : 
 
FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 85 
 
 Arno mio ! you are in a tremendous hurry to get 
 to the sea, and all the more because you have just 
 had an accessit, a remittance, of rain from the 
 mountain-banks. Buon pro vi faccia, much good 
 may it do you ! So every mortal fain would rise 
 and run. So every shopman hurries to become a 
 great merchant when he gets some money, and 
 every farmer a signore, and every signore a great 
 lord, and every great lord a ruler at court and over 
 all the land prorsum et sursum. And when they 
 get there, or when you get to the sea, then ye are all 
 swallowed up in greater lives, interests and actions ; 
 and so the rivers run for ever on longer yet ever 
 seeming less unto yourselves. And so adaltiora ten- 
 dunt omnes sic all to the Higher ever doth aspire, 
 the flower-edged torrent and the Florentine . . . 
 
 When he suddenly heard above his head a spirit- 
 voice, clear, sweet and strange, singing not in words, 
 or on the ear, but by tones of unearthly music, of 
 which languages there are many among the un- 
 earthlies, each unto its chaos/ all being wordless 
 songs or airs suggesting speech and yet conveying 
 ideas more rapidly. It was the Goblin of the Tower 
 to him of the tower next beyond on the further hill, 
 and he said : 
 
 How many ghosts there are abroad to-night ! 
 
 Yes ; it is a fine night for ghosting. Moonlight 
 is mid-summer for them, poor souls ! But I say, 
 brother, who is yonder Frate, the dark monk-spectre, 
 who always haunts your tower, lingering here and 
 there about it? What is the spell upon that 
 spirito ? 
 
 ( He is one to be pitied/ replied the goblin of 
 the Trinita. He was a good fellow while he lived, 
 
86 FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 
 
 but a little too fond of money. He was afflicted 
 with what the doctors called in Rome, when I was 
 young, the amor sceleratus^ or sal aeratus habendi. 
 So it came to pass that he died, leaving a treasure, 
 mille aureos, or a thousand gold crowns, buried in 
 my tower, unknown to any one, and for that he must 
 walk the earth until some one living wins the money. 
 For money is as life to all men, and he who destroys 
 it is, in a way, a murderer. 
 
 Flaxius pricked up his ears. He understood all 
 that the goblins said, but they had no idea that the 
 man in a scholar s robe who sat below knew 
 Goblinese. 
 
 4 What must a mortal do to get the gold ? inquired 
 the second goblin. 
 
 Truly he must do what is wellnigh impossible, 
 replied the Elf of the Tower, * for he must, without 
 the aid of magic note that bring to me here, in this 
 month of January, a fresh, full-blown rose. 
 
 The voices were silent; a cloud passed over the 
 face of the moon ; the river rushed and roared on ; 
 Flaxius sat in a Vandyke-brown study, thinking 
 how he could obtain peace and repose for the 
 ghostly monk, and also get the solatium or reward. 
 
 1 Here is, he thought, aliquid laborare, something 
 to be worked out. Now is the time, and here is 
 the chance, ingirlandisi di lauro, to win the laurel 
 wreath. A rose in January ! What a pity it is not 
 four hundred years later, when people will have 
 green -houses, and blue-nosed vagabonds will be 
 selling red roses all the winter long in the Torna- 
 buoni ! Faith ! it is sometimes inconvenient to be 
 behind, or in advance of the age ! 
 
 * Eureka ! I have it ! he at last exclaimed, have 
 
FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 87 
 
 it by the neck and tail ! I will spogliar la tesoria, 
 rob the treasury and spoil the Egyptian. Si non 
 in errore versatus sum, unless I am stupendously 
 mistaken, monk, thy weird will soon be dreed, thy 
 penance prophesied will soon be o er ! 
 
 Saying this he went into the city. And there the 
 next day, going to a fair lady of his acquaintance 
 who excelled all in Italy in ingenious needlework, 
 he had made of silk a rose ; and so deftly was it 
 done, that had it been put on a bush you would 
 have sworn that a nightingale would have sung to 
 it, or a bee sought to ravish it. 
 
 Then going to a Venetian perfumer s in the Via 
 Vacchereccia close by the Signoria, the wise Flaxius 
 had his flower well scented with best attar of roses 
 from Constantinople, and when midnight struck he 
 was at the tower once more, where he called to the 
 goblin. 
 
 Che vuoi ! What dost thou seek ? cried the elf. 
 
 The treasure of the monk. 
 
 Bene ! Give me a rose ? 
 
 Ecco ! There it is ! replied Flaxius extending it. 
 
 Non facit it won t do, answered the goblin in 
 Latin, thinking Flaxius to be a monk. It is a sham 
 rose of silk, artificially coloured murice tincta est! 
 
 Smell it, replied Flaxius calmly. 
 
 The smell is all right and sweet, I admit, 
 answered the guardian of the gold. The perfume 
 is delicious here he sniffed at it seriously, being 
 like all of his kind enraptured with perfume and 
 that much of it is, I grant, the real thing. 
 
 Then tell me truly, replied Flaxius, and swear 
 by thy great ancestress Diana, the mother of the 
 Spirits of the Night, and her sister-daughter Herodias, 
 
88 FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 
 
 and her Nine Cats, by the Moon and her eternal 
 shadow Endamone, and the word which Bergoia 
 whispered into the ear of the Ox, and the Nails 
 of Nortia, and the Lamia whom thou lovest ! what 
 is it makes a man ? Is it his soul or his body ? 
 
 Man of mystery and master of the old Etruscan 
 hidden lore ! replied the awe-struck goblin, * it is 
 his soul. 
 
 And is not the perfume of the rose its soul, that 
 which breathes its life, in which it speaks to fairies 
 or to men? Is not the voice in song or sweetened 
 words the perfume of the spirit ever true? Is 
 not 
 
 * I give it up, replied the goblin. The priest 
 may turn in now for a long, long nap. Here, take 
 his gold, and may you have a merry time with it ; 
 there is a great deal of good drinking in a thousand 
 crowns, to say nothing of the eating ! Do you ever 
 play at dice, old man, ludere latrunculist When 
 you do, I promise you three sixes. By the way, I 11 
 just keep this rose to remember you by. Addio, a 
 rivederla ! Good-bye and au revoir ! 
 
 So the bedesman slept among his ashes cold, and 
 Flaxius, who was a stout carl for the nonce, with 
 a broad back and a great beard, returned, bearing 
 a mighty sack of ancient gold, which stood him in 
 good stead for many a day. And the goblin is still 
 there in the tower. 
 
 * Hcec fabula docetj wrote Flaxius, as he revised 
 the proof with a red pencil for which he had paid 
 a penny at Ancora s ancient stationery shop in 
 the Via Condotti, this tale teaches that in this life 
 there is naught which hath not its ideal side or idol 
 
FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 89 
 
 inner-soul, which may raise us to high reflection or 
 great profit if we will but seek it. 
 
 The lower the man the less he sees, and the 
 lower he looks, but it is all to his loss. 
 
 Now every chapter in this book, or in that of 
 thy life, O my son, or daughter ! may seem to thee 
 to be only a rose of silk, yet do not stop at that, 
 but try to find therein its perfume. 
 
 For thou art thyself, I doubt not, such a rose, 
 even if thy threads, as in most of us, be somewhat 
 worn or torn or faded ; and yet thou hast a soul far 
 better than many deem who see thee only from a 
 distance. And this my book is written for the 
 perfume, not the silk of my reader. And there is 
 no person who is better in any way than what the 
 world deems him or her to be who will not find in 
 it comfort. 
 
 But, friend, how was it that it came to pass that 
 I found out this veritably and authentically ancient 
 legend of the Tower of the Triple Arches, which, 
 when I wrote, rose opposite my window over the 
 Arno ? My dear reader, it was written down for me 
 by a witch, in very truth, who had learned it of her 
 strange kind and with it many more, which you 
 might have collected as well as I, if you could have 
 kept such company and wandered in such paths as 
 I did. And know that the Sleepy Hollow of the 
 Hudson is not more haunted by marvellous spirits 
 of a bygone age, or more strangely shaded with 
 legends of goblins and fair, quaint mysteries of the 
 golden time than is this city which is named from 
 Flowers, or it may be from Flora, la belle Romaine, 
 the beautiful sorceress who bewitched all with love. 
 Villon asked what became of her : 
 
90 FLAXIUS IN FLORENCE 
 
 Where is there left on earth a trace 
 Of Flora once the Roman fair? 
 Or Archipiada and Thais, 
 That bright and ever queenly pair? 
 Echo will fling the question back 
 O er silent lake and streamlet lone, 
 All earthly beauty fades away, 
 Where have the snows of winter gone ? 
 
 Here the old Roman enchantress yet lives as 
 much as she ever did in fact in Rome, for she was 
 there only a world-old Indian myth of pleasure and 
 beauty, in the city of the Lily. And here indeed 
 there is, according to legend, a goblin by every bridge, 
 an elf in every tower and old palazzo, a fairy of the 
 ancient Roman kind in form, changed to a later hue 
 in colour, a witch aura lingering in many a darkling 
 corridor and chamber, a something between sweet 
 perfume and the conjurer s fumigations to raise 
 spirits. I have learned that in my barber s shop 
 opposite the great column of Cosimo, San Zenobio 
 once wrought a miracle, and in my cafe", a fair maid 
 was bewitched into a cow. 
 
 All over doth this modern life 
 An ancient life enfold. 
 
 These things you may read in full in many a story, 
 as set forth in The (aforesaid) Legends of Florence, 
 which grew out of the first draft of the sketch of 
 Flaxius. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE EMPEROR 
 JULIAN 
 
 The Emperor Julian in his Cczsars gives the preference 
 to Marcus Aurelius, who having been greatly honoured for 
 his merits, replied modestly "that it had always been his 
 care to imitate the gods." The Spectator, No. 635. 
 
 I SHOULD really like/ said Flaxius to his attendant 
 pocket-imp, Puttuli, to see this grand young man, 
 our Emperor Julian. 
 
 [ Grand jeune homme was a term applied in later 
 days to Mr. James G. Bennett, of the New York 
 Herald by the Figaro, but Flaxius was the inventor 
 of it. ] 
 
 Nothing easier, replied the goblin. * You give 
 the atriensis, or janitor, a hundred nummos or sestertios, 
 or a ring, or any trifle, and so you may be admitted 
 to a private-public view. For a sestertium he will 
 manage an opportunity to speak to Caesar. But 
 you can have a good street view for nothing, and 
 I think, added Puttuli as he critically eyed his 
 master, if he saw you he might speak to you ; he 
 isn t at all particular as to his company. 
 
 Gratias tibi ago, thank you for the compliment/ 
 replied the sage, but as it concerns an emperor, we 
 may as well do things genteelly. Assume a respect 
 able form, if you know how 
 
 91 
 
92 FLAXIUS AND 
 
 ( Gratias tibi, or not tibi ago! murmured the imp.) 
 - and hire a place dans la premiere loge. For 
 a sestertium? 
 
 Would your excellency like to carry a bouquet t % 
 inquired Puttuli impudently. 
 
 A good idea ! Yes, order me one of rue, con- 
 cordia and verbena. 
 
 Well, of all the nosegays that ever were nosed, 
 that is the queerest/ answered the servant. But, 
 fiat voluntas tua, my lord s will be done ! A great 
 deal of rue with plenty of concordia, and most of 
 all verbena. I will go to the pretty herb-seller in the 
 Suburra. She has the vegetables. 
 
 I must choose a lucky day, said Flaxius. 
 
 To-morrow/ answered Futtuli, is the three 
 hundred and sixty-fifth day of the year three 
 hundred and sixty-five A.D. 
 
 So it came to pass that, twenty-four hours after, 
 Flaxius stood in the grand hall of the imperial 
 palace amid the row of suitors and courtiers and 
 other great or wise, or otherwise, folk who awaited 
 audience of Julian. He looked at the emperor with 
 approbation. 
 
 I knew the first Julian/ he reflected; the man 
 who bought the empire at auction and resigned in 
 sixty-six days. He was indeed a caducus, a word 
 which will live in later days as cad an imperial 
 snob. This is a horse of another colour. 
 
 Meanwhile the emperor who had the keenest eye 
 in Rome for observing all sorts and conditions of 
 men, and who, after sitting an hour in the amphi 
 theatre, could describe the appearance of everybody 
 present who was anybody, had not failed to note 
 the tall and stately form of the philosopher, and 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 93 
 
 his grandly flowing beard. Now Julian, having a 
 very fine beard of his own, was deeply interested 
 in this subject, as appears from his great work 
 Misopogon, meaning * Enemy of the Beard, that is 
 to say of wisdom, to say nothing of his Letters. 
 And as Flaxius had a very beard of beards flowing 
 and curling in indescribable magnificence, and as 
 he wore the purely white, long-flowing robe which 
 indicated the professional philosopher, a being dearer 
 to the emperor than the prettiest woman living, he 
 gazed at Flaxius with what became absolute approval 
 or admiration. 
 
 * By Esculapius and Jupiter ! he exclaimed, that 
 is a good-looking man. Something in my line, I 
 think! Who is he? 
 
 Caesar! replied Puttuli, who had assumed the 
 form and voice of Bumbulbulus, the court factotum, 
 that is the great Flaxius, a sage who has travelled 
 all over the world, and who is reported to know 
 everything from the works of Moloch the Pismirist, 
 up to those of God. 
 
 That is a large order, replied the emperor re 
 flectively, magnum postulatum est. But bring him 
 here that I may measure him. 
 
 1 That will take more time, O Caesar, than it would 
 for him to measure you ! thought Puttuli, as he 
 departed. He needs a long line who would sound 
 such a sea as the Master. Come now ! I think we 
 are as good as established at court. 
 
 Now the emperor had for many years been devoted 
 to magic and occulta, and observing the herb-bouquet 
 which Flaxius bore, grasped its hidden meaning with 
 great pleasure. 
 
 * Salve, Caesar ! said the sage. 
 
94 FLAXIUS AND 
 
 Salve, adepteT replied the monarch. So thou hast 
 mastered the lore of the Etruscan, as I read by the 
 Concordia, "-Janus adorandus aim quo Concordia 
 mitis" as Ovid saith ; of Egypt, as the rue proclaims ; 
 " cingebat rutce qua coma multicomce \ and of Persia, 
 I see by the verbena, Verbenasque adole pinguis et 
 mascula thura. Hem ! Virgil ! 
 
 1 have heard, even in the remotest region of 
 the earth/ replied Flaxius, that what Caesar could 
 not do in the way of apt quotation was not worth 
 doing. 
 
 Um ! I flatter myself that I know a thing or 
 two/ replied the emperor the very phrase occurs 
 in his Epistola * but like Apicius with the British 
 oysters, I am always ready for a few more. And 
 I read it in thee, O Flaxius/ he added, suddenly 
 changing his whole mien and manner, and looking 
 through his tangled locks with that strange, un 
 earthly glare which so impressed his contemporary 
 familiars, as if he had become another man, that 
 thou canst teach me much which I do not know, 
 therefore I ask thee to sup with me to-night. 
 
 The emperor said this, turning away so abruptly ? 
 that all present who did not know his ways inwardly 
 thanked God, according to their heathen or Christian 
 faith, that they did not stand in the shoes of that 
 philosopher with the flowing beard. But those who 
 knew him better looked gravely, and said, Caesar 
 hath found a new friend ! 
 
 But Flaxius himself was deeply amazed when 
 Julian, leading him to a table, by which stood a single 
 Greek servant there was no other soul present- 
 showed him with some pride that the meal consisted 
 only of a grilled fish and garum, with bread and 
 olives, new cheese and fruit. 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 95 
 
 There is your supper, Flaxius ! he exclaimed, 
 ( and much good may it do you ! 
 
 By the lance and laurel bough or olive of the 
 god Honour, whose temple is by the Campidoglio ! 
 cried the sage, what am /, O Caesar! that thou 
 shouldst treat me with such esteem ! 
 
 1 Non rectis oculis aspice, never do you mind that} 
 replied Julian. * Truly if I were going to entertain 
 a Bythnian prince or a sow-bellied contractor for the 
 army, whom I hoped some day to crucify, I would 
 have given him a hundred courses of ortolans stuffed 
 with oysters, and galantine with truffles and 
 pistachios, and all that sort of thing. But to a 
 philosopher whom I wish to treat as a brother, I 
 give just what I am accustomed to eat myself. One 
 cannot be a slave at the same time to his brain and 
 his belly non potes Tethidem simul et Galateam 
 amare, as Lucian says. 
 
 Now, I see, reflected Flaxius, * that when a man 
 is a gentleman at heart, he can turn even his vanity 
 to a kindness. A marvellous character is this 
 Caesar, and one who will do much to be misunder 
 stood in history. 
 
 So they held wondrous discourse of great and 
 glorious things in philosophy, over which the 
 emperor quoted nearly all the Orphic sayings, with 
 the Poemander of Hermes, and finally came to what 
 he had been aiming at from the first, by bluntly 
 asking : 
 
 Knowest thou aught of magic ? 
 
 * O Caesar ! do not think I seek to quibble or raise 
 a sophistical cloud between us, replied Flaxius, if 
 I ask thee what is the meaning of magic. 
 
 It is, replied the emperor who had been there 
 before the violation of the laws of nature. 
 
96 FLAXIUS AND 
 
 And what is nature? asked the Sage. 
 
 * H m ! the eternal order of things the action of 
 laws, or potentza quatenus in potential 
 
 Rather vague, yet good so far as it goes. But, 
 Caesar, if there be but one substance, though you 
 call it matter in one form and spirit in another, and 
 one eternal law manifesting itself in infinite forms, 
 there can be no violation of them. Miracle or magic 
 is only something which man cannot explain^ some 
 thing which puzzles and astonishes him. Si placet 
 give me an example for a miracle ! 
 
 I am devilish thirsty/ replied Julian. That 
 garum or fish-sauce is pungent enough to make a 
 Nazarene drink a gallon of strong Sicilian wine. 
 Now, if you could pour me any kind of wine which 
 I may call for out of one and the same bottle 
 
 It may be done, O Caesar! but remember that to 
 do this one must invoke the invisible spirits or forces 
 of nature, whom we call the gods, to aid in such 
 mysteries. 
 
 After a long pause of reflection, the emperor 
 slowly replied, * Granted. He did not see that 
 Puttuli, reduced to his natural stature of three inches, 
 and who sat unseen behind him, advanced his thumb 
 to his nose, and waved his fingers, making thereby an 
 ancient and mysterious Egyptian sign used by the 
 priests of Memphis when they initiated some great 
 sage to their rites. 
 
 Then Flaxius winked to Puttuli, who presently 
 reappeared in the form of Bumbulbulus. 
 
 Go to my rooms, said the sage, and bring hither 
 the ancient goblet of Bacchus ! 
 
 The goblin obeyed, and returned with a very large 
 bottle of black cuir bouilli or moulded leather. It 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 97 
 
 was of graceful shape, apparently of great antiquity, 
 covered with exquisite silver relief, representing the 
 deeds of Bacchus. Handling it with great rever 
 ence, Flaxius pronounced over it in a voice which 
 was half-singing, such as one may hear to this day 
 among witches in Italy when they chant the 
 following : 
 
 INCANTATION TO BACCHUS 
 
 Golden master of the earth ! 
 King of joy and lord of mirth ! 
 By thy mother the divine, 
 Of the ancient Cadmean line ! 
 Semele of Earth the pride ; 
 Who of Jove s great splendour died ! 
 By the Seasons, who in truth, 
 Nursed thee from thy early youth ! 
 Or fair I no, who they say, 
 Brought thee from Arabia ! 
 By the lion s form you wore 
 When gods and Titans fought of yore ! 
 And by the holy miracle 
 Of which the morning poets tell ; 
 When from Naxos thou didst sail 
 With a gentle, favouring gale, 
 And pirates sought to conquer thee 
 But fell into captivity : 
 By the hour when thou did st go 
 To the darkling realms below, 
 And brought thy mother, " ever bright," 
 To the upper world of light, 
 And all that Nonnus ever sung 
 Of thee with mystic, golden tongue ! 
 I conjure thee the all-divine 
 To give me what I ask, of wine ! 
 
 Saying this he took a small gold cup and said : 
 Now, Csesar, ask for what wine thou wilt. 
 Let it be Csecuban, replied the emperor. 
 Then Flaxius poured forth wine from the bottle 
 into the cup, and extended it to Julian. 
 
 Caecuban it is, sure enough, replied the emperor 
 G 
 
98 FLAXIUS AND 
 
 when he had drunk to the last drop, which he poured 
 super naculum upon his thumb-nail. 
 
 Wilt thou have another draught? inquired 
 Flaxius. If soof what ? 
 
 Falernian, answered the emperor. 
 
 Sity replied Flaxius. Here you are. But, O 
 Caesar, I have not hung an ivy garland as yet round 
 the cup, as the conjuration requires. 
 
 Vino vendibili suspensa hederd nihil opus. Good 
 wine needs no bush, answered Julian. The miracle 
 is wrought, and I wish that all were as agreeable. 
 And now, Flaxius, since thou sayest that all miracles 
 can be explained by natural causes, I pray thee to 
 naturalise me this, for verily ut turris super omnes, it 
 is a huckleberry above my persimmon, and I would 
 like to know how it is done. 
 
 * Easily enough, O Caesar. The bottle is made from 
 a certain flexible substance, and it contains many 
 chambers or cells, in each of which there is a differ 
 ent kind of wine. When I press on anyone of these 
 it pours forth its content. 
 
 Then the incantation was all gammon ? remarked 
 Julian. 
 
 Not so, O Caesar. It made the miracle. 
 
 Hum-um-um-ump ! replied the monarch. And 
 yet, Flaxius, it still seems to me that there are and 
 must be miracles surpassing all human skill and 
 knowledge, which the utmost wisdom cannot com 
 pass or explain, and never will. 
 
 Can your Greatness give me an example? re 
 plied Flaxius. 
 
 It is written in thine own ancient Etruscan 
 chronicles, replied Julian, that in the early time the 
 mysterious nymph, Begoe or Bergoia, before the 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 99 
 
 world, and in the Capitol, slew an ox by whispering 
 in his ear a single word. Now, I believe, that had I 
 tried, I might have worked out an explanation of 
 thy Holy Bottle ; but in the miracle of Bergoia I 
 have reflected many a time and oft, without solving 
 it, and therefore do I conclude that it was a violation 
 of the laws of Nature. 
 
 O Caesar ! replied Flaxius, * great is the man 
 who can infallibly decide where human reason leaves 
 off and Divinity begins, for, nusquam est, qui ubique 
 est, that which is everywhere is nowhere, and this is 
 true of miracle. But what if I perform for thee 
 openly before all thy court and all Rome if thou 
 wilt, that same miracle? 
 
 By Hercules ! cried Julian, amazed and delighted 
 beyond measure, his wild and mysterious eyes 
 gleaming so as to make a very respectable miracle 
 of their own if he had but known it, thou art a 
 man of gold, set with gems the first real sage I 
 ever found in the stuffing of this duck of a world. 
 And you really will in good faith honestus Indicus 
 slay the ox with a whisper ! 
 
 1 Thou shalt see it, O Caesar/ replied Flaxius. 
 But it seems to me that the miracle would be 
 improved on, if instead of an ox we were to sub 
 stitute a man. For it might be said by the sceptical 
 that we had poisoned the ox beforehand. 
 
 By Medea ! exclaimed the emperor admiringly, 
 < I never thought of that ! 
 
 While if we take a man who declares himself to 
 be in good health, there can be no suspicion. Now, 
 Caesar, thou hast, I doubt not, in thy prisons more 
 than one unlucky wretch condemned to the torture 
 and the crucifix, to whom a quick and painless 
 
ioo FLAXIUS AND 
 
 death would be as a divine blessing and great 
 joy? 
 
 Depone! bet your head on it! cried Julian. I 
 sent one this morning to the Mamertine hell would 
 be too good for him and I meant to give him a fore 
 taste of it by means of preparation. 
 
 ( He will do/ replied Flaxius. 
 
 So on the following day, when the emperor and 
 his court and all Rome assembled in the great 
 amphitheatre, there was led in a ferocious, giant-like 
 and bitterly wicked-looking Gaul, who, expecting to 
 be tortured to death to make a Roman holiday, was 
 on his best behaviour as regards defiance and dying 
 game. 
 
 * Man, whence comest thou, asked Flaxius. 
 
 From Lutetia, was the proud reply. 
 
 Ame de boue? thought the sage in a language of 
 the future, and then asked : 
 
 And what is thy religion ? 
 
 I worship the devil ; it was the last fashion ere I 
 left home. 
 
 1 You expect torture ! 
 
 I do not fear it. It will pain me, but when dead, 
 I shall be amply revenged on ye all, if hate and hell 
 can do it. 
 
 If I could give thee out of pity a sudden painless 
 death, wouldst thou declare that thou in all thy 
 health and strength forgivest all men ? 
 
 The Gaul glared at him stolidly and grimly and 
 then uttered in a strange tongue which none under 
 stood. 
 
 Mais, nom d une pipe, pourquoi pas ? faurais bien 
 de quoi wiamuser sans me soucier de ces b-la ! 
 And then in rude Latin he said : 
 
THE EMPEROR JUL IAN 
 
 I consent. Hurry along with your washing, and 
 get the pigs in ! And he made the declaration. 
 
 Then Flaxius, who bore in his hand a long wand, 
 as all the Magi were wont to do, touched him 
 with it, while whispering a word in his ear. And 
 the man fell dead at full length, while a thrill of 
 awe and a murmur rose from all Rome, at sight 
 of this mighty deed. And the great and wise 
 and even the good, or such few of the latter as 
 were present, rari nantes, thronged about him, and 
 adored him. 
 
 And now, Flaxius/ said the emperor, as they sat 
 in solemn concert over the Holy Bottle, which his 
 highness was never tired of admiring, if thou 
 canst explain to me on natural grounds how thou 
 didst slay that Gaul, then "by Gaule ! " as Julius 
 Caesar said to Vercingetorix, I will believe, or dis 
 believe, anything ! 
 
 * Yea, Caesar, I will do it, replied the sage. Now 
 if thou wilt remember Begoe or Bergoia, her who 
 slew the Ox with a single word, left to Rome a book 
 on the Ars Fulguritorum or the averting, that is to 
 say, managing thunder and lightning, and this book, 
 which is in the ancient Etruscan tongue, and hard 
 to understand, for those who know the language, is 
 even yet in the temple of the Palatine Apollo, where 
 I read it. And it explains that the lightning is 
 caused by an invisible but terrible secret force, which 
 like heat pervades all things while seen by none, 
 and this is the awful power of the Divinity to smite 
 the earth, and it was by means of it that Bergoia 
 slew the Ox. And know that there was in my wand 
 a charge of condensed thunder and lightning, quite 
 strong enough to knock a bull sky-high. 
 
10,2 -.FLAXIUS AND 
 
 But the word? asked Julian who had not quite 
 recovered from his ideas of miracle. 
 
 Truly, Caesar, the word was Electricity, which is 
 as yet unknown, but which in ages to come will be 
 the great heritage and power of mankind. For as 
 when thou art done with a garment thou givest it 
 to a servant, so the gods when they have somewhat 
 worn out their attributes and glories, hand them 
 over to men. 
 
 * Semper similem ducit Deus ad similem, and so 
 the gods lead ever like to like. Ah, it is wonderful. 
 And now, Flaxius, the light begins to shine in on 
 me, and I see that there is indeed a higher and far 
 more wonderful magic and miracle than the poor, 
 thin Thaumaturgy which I sought for once. For 
 true magic is the mastering the awful power and 
 secrets of nature. Now I see that because thou 
 mightst explain to me by natural means how Christ 
 fed the multitude, or raised the dead or healed the 
 sick, it would be none the less wonderful, for genius, 
 even the genius to amaze and nothing more, is 
 miraculous. 
 
 That will be better understood, O Caesar, in times 
 to come when science shall have risen to glory, by 
 means of such stupendous genius that no man can 
 help revering it. 
 
 * Ah ! said Julian with a deep sigh, happy the 
 age and happy mankind when there shall be but 
 one faith, whatever it be ! Thou wilt never know 
 what I have suffered between the old faith in the 
 Gods and Christianity. As Terence says, I think, 
 somewhere in the Andria \ 
 
 * "How happy could I be with either, 
 Were t other dear charmer away ! " ; 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 103 
 
 * Yes, Caesar, yours is a hard case, and all the 
 harder because you wish heart and soul to do what 
 is right. 
 
 Orcus and hell, heathen and Christian, take me 
 if I don t ! replied the emperor in a passion and 
 looking as wild as a panther on the spring : he who 
 had seen him then and there would have believed 
 him to be some young god enraged. What the 
 devil can they expect a man to do who has seen 
 what / have seen, and gone through what I have 
 endured ? Well, I began in good faith enough as a 
 Christian, and in truth I was cut out for one as few 
 young Roman gentlemen are. I was never sensual, 
 cruel, nor over-selfish. 
 
 Right you are, O Caesar/ thought Flaxius, * and 
 a very good Christian gentleman you d have made, 
 if your guardians had let well alone. 
 
 So I, with a deep love of ancient heathen beauty 
 and art and poetry, was put into a cloister, where 
 the meanest, monkish, shaveling spite made a sin 
 and a shame of all that I loved. It was not belief 
 in their own faith, but the bitterest hate of what 
 they called heathenism, which chiefly inspired every 
 one of them. That was their real religion all the 
 rest was mere form the adaptation to their ritual of 
 what I knew were old Oriental ceremonies. Then 
 I began to think out, O Flaxius, what has ever 
 since been the idea of my life : Why cannot man 
 keep the old faith in Beauty, and all that was 
 charming in the old religion, and unite with it the 
 humanity and higher truth of Christianity. 
 
 There will perhaps be a time, in the dim and 
 remote future, quoth Flaxius, prophetically quoting 
 Gladstone, when that idea will occur to others. 
 
104 FLAXIUS AND 
 
 So I dreamed that I, as an Eclectic having read 
 something of Ammonius Saccas the Egyptian 
 would be the apostle of the new combined religion. 
 Well ! time passed, and after I had become Caesar, 
 it occurred to me to examine all the faiths into 
 which Christianity had split, and a nice job it was ! 
 Pheugh ! everything from Trinitarians, Arians, and 
 Unitarians down to Cainites, who worship the flesh 
 and sin and the devil, all hating the common enemy 
 but hating one another worse, like the Jews who 
 slew one another in the siege of Jerusalem while 
 all fought Titus. 
 
 O sage, he resumed, when I think how beautiful 
 and noble, how holy and perfect were the conceptions 
 of Christ, and how it was His ideal that every man 
 should commune directly with God, and when I see 
 how each one of these sects steps in and proposes 
 with saints and forms to do for you what you should 
 do for yourself, I cannot wonder at the scarcity of 
 Christians. Yet there is a stupendous truth in 
 Christianity, the truth of human rights, which even 
 they cannot crush. Magna est veritas et prcevale- 
 bit: 
 
 And the old religion ? asked Flaxius. 
 
 Well! it admitted the Beautiful and let a man 
 philosophise freely, and did not make devils out of 
 all the sweet and fair conceptions of poetry, of fauns 
 and nymphs and Oreads and all ; and so, as I believe 
 that nature must prevail in the end with man, I 
 went back to it. Yet the old religion is not humane. 
 It admits slavery and inhumanity, it allows the grosser 
 passions of cruelty and lust full play, evil nature as 
 well as good, and it needs reform. I would fain 
 be that reformer. 
 
THE EMPEROR JULIAN 105 
 
 Now here is a great man/ thought Flaxius, who 
 is either two hundred years behind his time, or a 
 thousand or more in advance of it. He means well, 
 but is out of the age. Then speaking aloud he said : 
 
 Caesar, there was once a king of Bithynia or 
 Cappadocia or some such country, who had a mind 
 to marry. Now the king next door had two 
 daughters ; both were beautiful, but one was as 
 Venus and the other as Minerva. One was beautiful 
 and voluptuous, witty and charming, while the other 
 was wise and just, humane and ever careful that 
 no one should be oppressed. Now which of these 
 should he have married ? 
 
 1 Had I been in his place, I would have married 
 both, replied the emperor. 
 
 But that was impossible. 
 
 H m ! Well, in that case I should have taken the 
 wise one. 
 
 That, said Flaxius, is what he did, and it is 
 what the world will do : it will adopt the religion 
 which, despite all the corruption with which man 
 surrounds it, promises the greatest good to the 
 greatest number. 
 
 I believe that thou art in the right, O sage ! 
 replied the emperor slowly. However, jacta est 
 alea, the die is cast, and I shall ever remain Julian 
 the Apostate. But what will be the end of it all ? 
 
 Thou wilt die nobly as a king should die in 
 battle for thy country. 
 
 Then/ said Julian, I am content. 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 SHOWING HOW FLAXIUS WENT DOWN INTO HELL, 
 AND OF THE MARVELLOUS THINGS WHICH HE SAW 
 AND LEARNED WHILE THERE 
 
 To the Esthete who regards all Nature and Eternity as a 
 mere paint-box for art, hell is a necessity, as is illustrated by 
 Ruskin when he howls that "in the utmost solitudes of 
 Nature the existence of hell seems to me as legibly declared 
 by a thousand spiritual utterances as that of heaven. " 
 
 4 THEY manage these things/ said Flaxius, I verily 
 believe, better in hell. 
 
 You have been in hell, I suppose, said the 
 goblin-snob, with the most civilly impertinent air 
 in the world, to the sage. 
 
 Strange! reflected Flaxius, that a place which 
 may be readily reached in a minute, if we may 
 believe the common exhortation of the vulgar, or 
 even in an instant by the aid of electricity as they 
 manage it in America with I forget how many volts, 
 but "in a demi-volt should be unknown to me. 
 I must consult the Fairy. Decidedly, my education 
 has been neglected. I have not yet made the 
 grand tour. 
 
 Flaxius was living then near a town in the Austrian 
 Tyrol, in a lonely, grey, and ancient ivied tower and 
 small house, hidden away in the mountains ; and 
 there, with his usual disregard for appearances, he 
 
 106 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 107 
 
 had installed a small gypsy family whom he 
 had found camped in the woods, three chairs, a 
 table, and a stupendous service of gold plate : this 
 last not for luxury but because it was the first 
 which, as a buried treasure near by, came to hand. 
 The Goblin of the Tower had revealed to him its 
 existence, and he used it because it saved him the 
 trouble of going to town for crockery. His servants 
 had instructions, whenever sent to buy anything, to 
 steal one half the money, and then half of what 
 they bought, under penalty of severe punishment, 
 which had the natural result that whenever they 
 could do so without detection, they never stole 
 anything. Once, indeed, when his boy Lajos im 
 pudently brought him a manifestly superabundant 
 supply of fruit for a half florin, or more than he 
 expected, did Flaxius proceed, I cannot say to spoil 
 the child, for the young devil was beyond all spoil 
 ing, but to break a rod on him. Whereupon he 
 fell on his knees in tears, but was pardoned on 
 promising never to be honest any more. Even 
 Flaxius, great as he was, could not have his own 
 way in everything, for things got to such a pitch 
 at last, that these gypsies would tell the truth before 
 his very face openly with the utmost impunity, and 
 even without blushing. 
 
 It was midnight, and Flaxius the Immortal sat 
 alone in his baronial hall. True, it was only about 
 twenty feet in length and fifteen in breadth, but it 
 was a hall. The walls were rich, or, at least, ragged, 
 with Roman-picturesque and very-much-battered 
 stone carvings, representing a lettuce-like confusion 
 of crockets and finials, in which were nestled angels 
 as ugly as devils, and devils not much prettier than 
 
io8 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 the angels, like crayfish, or ecrevisses> in foliage, 
 the whole resembling an early Christian or Pre- 
 Raphaelite salad which would have enchanted a 
 Gothiconolator. 
 
 There was in the hall a large black Cat and an 
 Owl, both of whom had come in uninvited from the 
 Without, and joined the family, on speculation, from 
 a desire for human sympathy and love, also for mice 
 and any little edible odds and ends which might be 
 obtainable. There was, too, a florid chimney-piece, 
 so large that the hall seemed to be only a portion 
 of it, or adjunct, just as the body and tail of the 
 pricklefish seem to be only a part of his vast ogival 
 jaw. In it blazed a fire, and by, or in that fire, sat 
 the house goblin. His name was Slangbrand, and 
 he was engaged in swallowing live coals, and then 
 blowing out a storm of sparks from his nose, or de 
 retro as ye may see exemplified in Callot s picture 
 of Saint Anthony anon swallowing the poker like 
 a juggler, and then rising and falling on the smoke, 
 up and down the chimney, like a ball in a fountain, 
 to the great admiration of the Cat and the Owl, who 
 constituted his audience. 
 
 Then Flaxius himself took a coal from the 
 fire, placed it on a small silver dish on the table, 
 and sprinkled on it a powder which burned, emit 
 ting an intensely aromatic and most agreeable but 
 strange perfume, the magian meanwhile murmuring 
 an incantation. A beautiful, soft light diffused 
 itself all over the room ; twas like a delicate, rosy 
 Aurora with a memory of moonlight, and not with 
 out stars, for in it shone two celestial eyes, and then 
 anon the Fairy stood revealed to her worshipper. 
 
 Joyful greeting to thee, Flaxius ! said the Fata. 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 109 
 
 Deepest reverence to thee, O loveliest in form 
 as in spirit, of all thy kind ! replied the magian in 
 a tone of deep sincerity. 
 
 And how goes the world with thee? inquired 
 his queen. 
 
 4 With the world ever something new, as of old. 
 As for me, and it was for this that I summoned 
 thee, I would fain go 
 
 Go whither? inquired the fairy. 
 
 Go to hell ! replied Flaxius. 
 
 Wherefore this unprovoked hostility ? asked the 
 spirit. 
 
 It was not spoken in the vocative/ replied 
 Flaxius. I did but indicate the route which I fain 
 would take, not commend it to thee, though by the 
 twelve gods ! he added passionately, happy indeed 
 would he be who on such a journey could meet with 
 such an Eurydice ! 
 
 * Flaxius, replied the fair one, thou hadst ever 
 so much modesty as to declare thyself unfit for 
 heaven, and too much pride to allow that thou wert 
 fit for the lower regions. Therefore didst thou elect 
 to remain on earth to study and master its problems 
 as thoroughly as it was in thee to do so, maintain 
 ing that of the few magians who like thyself had 
 mastered immortality, too few prepared themselves, 
 as they should do by studying the rudiments. 
 
 * Ay, replied Flaxius with his worldly smile. 
 They are mostly like boys who would fain run 
 straight from their school to their dinner, not tarry 
 ing just for a little wholesome exercise to give a 
 better appetite and health. But the truth which 
 forces itself on me more and more is that hell and 
 earth are so nearly allied that it becomes more and 
 
no FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 more difficult every day to investigate the one with 
 out knowing the other, even as a knowledge of 
 chemistry becomes essential to an astronomer. 
 
 You are quite right/ replied the fairy. Sit tibi 
 voluntas, you shall have your wish. Fortunately it 
 is extremely easy to get there, especially to obtain 
 a place as permanent boarder, but even as a casual 
 visitor I can assure you special honour. All the 
 great geniuses of yore made a three days visit to 
 the realm ; it was a ceremony de rigueur, a kind of 
 court presentation which no well-bred immortal 
 could omit. I do not consider/ she added reflec 
 tively, ( that hell is exactly the place to which I 
 would recommend parents to send their boys for 
 an education, but for men of intelligence there are 
 a great many valuable ideas to be picked up there. 
 And when would you depart ? 
 
 * Now, if you please. 
 
 Said and done then/ answered the spirit. Dicto 
 citius, as Virgil used to say to you in un batter 
 (Tocchio in un balen in un amen ! 
 
 In a wink and in a flash, 
 In a snap, and at a dash, 
 While a priest " amen " could say ! 
 From this earth now pass away 
 To the mystic world below, 
 Which all men dread yet none do know ! 
 
 As she uttered this incantation, Flaxius sank back 
 in his great arm-chair to a deep sleep. The fairy 
 looked at him with a loving glance, evidently with 
 earnest and sympathetic thought, kissed his fore 
 head, and softly sighed : 
 
 Ah well, Eternity is long ! 
 
 And turning to the goblin she said : 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES in 
 
 Slang, take heed that no mortal enters this house 
 for three days and nights, and see that the master 
 here be not disturbed ! And do ye/ she added to 
 the Owl and Cat, * take care also that no noise be 
 made hereabouts, and if ye do your work well, ye 
 shall become witch and wizard in human form. 
 Farewell ! Saying this she winged her way 
 heavenward : 
 
 To the joyous realms afar, 
 Where the angel dwellers are. 
 
 Now of the four members of that happy family, 
 it would have been difficult to say who was the most 
 delighted. Flaxius surely, because he had been 
 sent to hell ; the Owl and Cat certainly because 
 they hoped to rise to the most degraded state of 
 humanity ; or Slang assuredly, simply because he 
 had been spoken to by a queen and charged with a 
 commission. And the three latter solemnly swore 
 among themselves that if a mouse or bird so much 
 as ventured to cheep or chirp about the house, they 
 would rend it limb from limb, and have it served up 
 for supper. According to the Penal Code of the 
 Goblins. V. CXXXIIIV, libra alto, capitulo nullo, folio 
 nigro. 
 
 As all the richest and most artistic or artful 
 adornment of cathedrals or palaces, diamonded with 
 panes of quaint device, innumerable of stains and 
 splendid dyes/ and twilight saints and dim em- 
 blazonings, with half unearthly, holy, elfin shade, is 
 all as trash and gingerbread, compared to the 
 greenwood with its ineffable beauties of summer, 
 and golden glory of autumn, so is all earthly music 
 
ii2 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 ever played mere scrannel-piping contrasted with 
 that in which the soul of Flaxius seemed swept away, 
 as he sank to sleep under the spell of the fairy. 
 For he always loved music in every form, however 
 made or by what mind composed ; and that which 
 now seemed to be life itself and waft him on, was 
 what he would have had idealised for him, or that 
 which he would have wanted had he known how to 
 want it. This fulfilment of ideals in every form 
 was the introduction to and the great moral lesson 
 of Inferno. For therein lies such temptation as is 
 mercifully spared to man on earth. 
 
 By the glory of the gods ! said Flaxius, rousing 
 himself to strength, if the devil can bring art like 
 this to bear on common mortals, who the devil can 
 be saved ? Truly it was high time for me to get 
 out of the ruts of earth for a season, when there are 
 such tremendous paradoxes as this to solve outside 
 it. And I thought that the problem and puzzle, and 
 contrast, and anomaly were confined to life me 
 stupide ! Verily, I say unto myself, Flaxius, that I 
 foresee I shall find the very humour of humour in 
 the mystery of hell, as this music intimates. 
 
 And the music dying away, yet not quite 
 vanishing, for Flaxius while he was in Inferno 
 always heard it just as in a garden we scent 
 perfume of some kind, rising or falling he found 
 himself on the summit of a marvellously pleasant 
 hill amid rocks and trees, grass and wild-flowers, 
 with a mossy bench under an arbour, such a place 
 as of all others he loved. He sat down on the 
 bench and saw that there was before him a 
 tremendous, yawning mountain gulf or valley, miles 
 deep, but what lay beyond he knew not, since it 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 113 
 
 was all covered with a veil of rolling, purple cloud 
 of richest hue, in which he saw eyes of light wander 
 like stars. . . . 
 
 Then he perceived standing by his side, a very 
 beautiful woman, young and lithe, holding a flask. 
 
 Have I not known thee of yore, O sister ? asked 
 Flaxius in Etruscan. * Art thou not of the Lases, 
 who receive the spirits of the departed ? 
 
 I am of the Lases, and I am Alpan, or Alban, 
 the Fairy of the Dawn, and their chief/ said the 
 maiden gently, * and I am sent by the lord of this 
 land, whom men know as Pluto, to welcome thee. 
 But first behold ! 
 
 And as the music, sweet beyond dreams, again 
 rose gently as in a play or orchestra the Lasa 
 waved her hand and, the purple cloud vanishing, 
 revealed to Flaxius such a vision of stupendous and 
 beautiful palaces all forming one as he had never 
 in all the splendour of the antique world seen the 
 like of. He recalled Babylon, Memphis, Persepolis, 
 Athens, Alexandria, Rome, the temples of Greece 
 and of Egypt in all their massive mystery, the 
 marvels of the Buddhist structures of Cambodia and 
 India, the awful grotesques of America, the stately 
 Lombard-Norman cathedrals of the West theGothic 
 glory of Europe and all seemed to be poor and 
 wretched, yea, squalid, beside the grandeur, magni 
 tude, and elaborate perfection of what was now 
 before him. 
 
 This must be/ he said, but he could speak no 
 more, so overwhelmed was he at the sight. 
 
 Yes/ added Albana, reading his thought. It 
 is Pandemonium the first structure ever erected. 
 
 Ay/ replied Flaxius recovering, of course to 
 H 
 
ii4 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 make a reflection, * and I see that architecture has 
 step by step sunk, as man has risen. Another 
 paradox! And this, 5 he suddenly exclaimed, is 
 hell ! 
 
 Yes, Flaxius, replied the fairy with a sad smile, 
 * and be thankful that thou comest here as an immortal 
 who will depart as soon as thou shalt have learned 
 the mystery, for verily with thy love and knowledge 
 of the beautiful in art it had also gone hard with 
 thee. 
 
 Another paradox ! thought Flaxius. * So, tout 
 lasse, tout passe , tout casse. En avant ! 
 
 * And now, said Albana, for new sights ! But 
 wait ! Drink from this flask ! All who enter this 
 realm must do so ! 
 
 I know it of old, said Flaxius. It was the 
 draught of the mysteries given me by the Fairy when 
 I was made immortal. I drink to thee/ he said, 
 1 O terrible ruler of this wondrous world ! Yes, to 
 thy realm and to thy mystic spouse ! and with them 
 to the angel of my dreams ! and also thee, my fair, 
 angelic guide ! 
 
 As he said this, there came from the depth below 
 an ebony car or boat, exquisitely inlaid with gold 
 in richest profusion, which rose slowly, quivering 
 with the music, to their feet. Then there was a far, 
 soft sound as of melodious chimes of a thousand 
 bells. 
 
 4 Enter with me/ said Albana. And having 
 entered, they floated slowly over the gulf: they saw 
 the city palace in new forms, while far beyond a 
 landscape of marvellous beauty also developed itself, 
 and in it too were other palaces, towns, towers, 
 burgs, and villes or villas, castles, and immense 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 115 
 
 ranges of crenellated, arched walls with glorious 
 gates, and over the walls grew or hung masses of 
 trees or clustering vines, bright with a mystic beauty 
 of their own. 
 
 They landed at the edge of an immense marble 
 precipice, which was however richly carved far adown 
 with quaint devices, the more beautiful for moss and 
 grey lichen. There appeared to be nothing freshly 
 new, yet nothing ruined in the whole land ; all spoke 
 of an old time for ever young. 
 
 You see no escort/ said Albana. c You are too 
 great a visitor to be received with a cortege, or a 
 procession, as we welcome the small great men of 
 earth. It is long indeed since any one was received 
 with such honour as this. You are deemed to be 
 above ceremony. 
 
 * Charming ! thought Flaxius, * the greatest mark 
 of attention which I ever received in my life is the 
 most devoid of all semblance of politeness. Another 
 paradox, but this I understand. 
 
 * I think, beautiful Albana, he remarked, that 
 your company alone is here considered the highest 
 compliment which can be paid to a guest. 
 
 * His majesty the king has said so, replied Albana 
 simply. Meanwhile they had been passing along 
 streets and scenes of surpassing magnificence or 
 beauty, and after traversing a garden of the gods 
 came to an immense open portal which they en 
 tered. And so on and ever on through stupendous 
 colonnaded corridors, and cloistered squares with 
 innumerable groups of statuary and fountains like 
 vast rivers trained to play, great as the Nile when 
 freshets fill its flood, leaping on high a mile, then 
 roaring down through arches strange and high, fall- 
 
n6 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 ing over thundering waterfalls, broad and deep as 
 Niagara, by towers like that of glorious Babylon 
 which met the clouds ; and above and beyond and 
 higher yet again, like stairs of mountains beyond 
 mountains growing dim, were walls of citadels like 
 snowy marble, with a coral blush in the sunset, and 
 domes like diamond, and pearly spires, glinting with 
 gold in every form of grace. 
 
 When at last passing along a turquoise-walled 
 and opal-paved arcade, to which unbroken divans of 
 lapis lazuli, inlaid with silver, seemed more beauti 
 ful for inexhaustible masses of all shades and kinds 
 of blue flowers hanging from vines, growing in vases 
 of sapphire, so that the very air seemed to be of a 
 dreamy azure hue, they came to a door and passed 
 into a hall. 
 
 Wherein sat, not on a throne, but in a throne-like, 
 ebony, high chair, at a table, a man of god-like mien 
 and marvellous dignity. 
 
 So far beyond anything human in his awful beauty 
 was he, that Flaxius was more deeply impressed 
 by him than by all the wonders which he had thus 
 far beheld. And truly, as Flaxius reflected, when a 
 man has passed some scores of centuries in forming 
 ideals of the beautiful and finds his ideal outdone, 
 tis time to look about for new powers \ 
 
 The Olympian Jove with a shade of Lucifer, the 
 Spirit of the serene heaven mingled with the darker 
 yet still beautiful earth below, the two united as 
 by a spirit in the eternal yet ever intermingling 
 ocean of the eye. Such he appeared, and Flaxius 
 recalled Goethe : 
 
 The soul of man 
 Is like the water. 
 From heaven it cometh 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 117 
 
 To heaven it riseth, 
 And thence at once 
 It must back to earth 
 For ever changing. 
 
 Moreover there was in the wonderfully grand face 
 something sympathetically human, and humanly 
 chevalresque, even touching in genial moods on the 
 * devilish handsome fellow. I have heard, thought 
 Flaxius, of a town in Western America, wherein 
 appeared a married lady of such irresistible beauty 
 that all the male inhabitants of the place, even unto 
 the deacons, gave up the commandments, or more 
 especially one of them, as a bad job. A few like 
 his majesty, turned loose on London society, would 
 convert Mayfair into a divorce court. 
 
 For he had at times a smile, a laugh which went 
 like an electric flash of champagne to the heart of 
 your heart, which is the reason why the inhabitants 
 of a certain American State, with the exquisite 
 poetry peculiar to their refined natures, call apple 
 brandy Jersey lightning, it being so potent that 
 a taste thereof goes flashing and coruscating through 
 the soul, suggesting Etna in full play on the great 
 fourth of July Day of Judgment, when the sceculum, 
 or fin de siecle, or the age, is to be dissolved in sparks, 
 since having gone up like a rocket it is to come 
 down like the stick ! This glance had Pluto, and 
 Flaxius found it useful, because by means of it his 
 majesty rendered clear, or, as one may say, coloured, 
 like an artist, the outlines of his spoken arguments. 
 
 You are truly welcome, Flaxius ! said the Lord 
 of the Underworld, as are all immortal mortals 
 who have raised themselves as types of ideas to 
 such a power that they can pass my realm as 
 tourists between heaven and earth without becoming 
 
ii8 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 mine. Ah ! that is a very vulgar error on earth that 
 I pass my time in trying to catch souls ! Did men 
 but know how I pass all my life in painful effort to 
 get rid of them ! Well, I have seen here in days 
 of yore, each for his three days, Adonis ah, he 
 stayed six months, by request of my wife ! Orpheus 
 music poor fellow ! . . . Socrates, Buddha, 
 Dante you know the list and so on down to 
 Emanuel Swedenborg. And every one of them saw 
 hell after his own fashion and then raised it after 
 his peculiar style to earth, and no one interfered 
 with the seeing thereof. ... 
 
 * But, my Flaxius/ resumed Pluto, with a genial 
 smile, * is there any reason why we should not drink, 
 although we are in hell ? 
 
 4 Raison de plus, most men would surely think, 
 replied Flaxius. 
 
 And at the word there were before them two 
 goblets creaming and streaming over ; and Flaxius 
 noticed that the infernal care of details was 
 exquisitely carried out in this, that the drops which 
 are generally a great drawback to the over-brimming 
 beaker, did not fall on his clothes and wet or stain 
 them, but, becoming diamonds or pearls, rebounded 
 dry. 
 
 And the draught was transcendental so cool, so 
 piquant, so enlivening ! Pluto smiled. 
 
 Confess, Flaxius, he said, * that hell is not, as 
 you find it, exactly what man imagines it to be ? 
 
 True, said Flaxius emptying his goblet, which 
 refilled itself; and yet I imagine that I am as far as 
 ever from knowing what it is ! 
 
 4 And that distance, replied the monarch, drawing 
 his own glass, * I will diminish for thee, O thou Sage 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 119 
 
 of Sublime Common Sense, for thou shalt have a 
 nearer perception of the truth and what Inferno is 
 than any of thy predecessors/ 
 
 Now, Flaxius, comfortably seated in a high-backed 
 chair, with the towering, Jacqueline can, or goblet, 
 foaming before him, listened, arreclis auribus, graving 
 every word which he heard on the tablet of his soul, 
 even as Alba seated on a Greek tabouret at a little 
 distance was doing on a leaf of ivory with her 
 stylus. [And here notes Flaxius in the margin : It 
 is a curious fact that Alban is depicted in Etruscan 
 vases as holding a stylus or pen, and that the witches 
 of Tuscany, who still know her as Bellaria, declare 
 that she is the spirit of the Pen, and is the one 
 to be invoked by all who would write, i.e. compose 
 well. Aurora Musis arnica.] 
 
 ( Know, my Flaxius/ began his majesty, that 
 earth and all its trials, troubles, and torments 
 diseases, and miseries, ceases even for the worst 
 and wickedest when they come here. We begin with 
 them all de novo, on an entirely new system the old 
 body is gone and we are done with it. Physical 
 torment ceases with the old life, for even the most 
 earthly. Only ideas and earthly ideals remain, 
 and to these is given full scope and free play. All 
 begin here with unlimited freedom and indulgence. 
 
 If I may interrupt your majesty, said Flaxius, 
 * I would remark that many people would suppose 
 that you are, by inadvertent error, describing 
 heaven. 
 
 Yes, replied Pluto, that is indeed the heaven of 
 every fool. But it is the surest way to come to 
 grief in the long run. The ultimate extreme of 
 hell or of punishment is for every man to be left 
 
120 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 utterly to himself, to have his own way, to follow his 
 own fancies, to rule as he lists, and do uncontrolled 
 just what he likes. Few and far between have those 
 mortals ever been who, gifted with power, would not 
 damn themselves on earth if left without guidance 
 or control. 
 
 Now this is hell, and if thou wouldst know what 
 the word really means, I reply, " a place where every 
 one can do just what he pleases, and have all that he 
 wants." Every one entering here is supplied with 
 such a world as he desires, with corresponding scenes 
 and companions he himself unconsciously drawing 
 them all from memory and imagination. But note 
 for it is an important point that they believe it all 
 to be real, and in a certain sense it is so, for they 
 have given to them the power, which science will 
 some day give to man on earth, of perfect synthesis 
 by volition that is of drawing out the elements by 
 will from the prima matcria or materialising unseen 
 elements, or conceptions. 
 
 I understand/ said Flaxius. Gods in a small 
 way. Demiurguses. Make things! 
 
 They think so, laughed Pluto. All here believe 
 for a long time as they believed like fools on earth 
 that all which they saw on earth or see here is 
 real. What is real is unchangeable and eternal. 
 Who lives in Evolution, as all do on earth or in 
 matter, lives in the Transient. It is when they 
 realise by mere satiety the unreality of things that 
 their punishment comes that of despair. Then 
 after a season they begin to exert themselves to 
 seek higher ideals or something new, which being 
 attained, there comes again satiety, and then renewed 
 effort, every new stage becoming easier, until at last 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 121 
 
 man rises to the gods or God. The best experience 
 disappointment and rebuffs ; but they go on. The 
 wise who on earth have shaped better ideals, the 
 altruists and benevolent philosophers or Christians, 
 and people who have not meddled with others, or 
 lived entirely in the eyes and opinions of others, or 
 revelled in notoriety, or been selfish and tyrannical 
 in the small or great relations of life, these do not re 
 main long in our world of shams. The honest poet 
 or artist or man of letters is let off very easily, as 
 indeed are all who have been kinder to mankind 
 than mankind has been unto them. 
 
 The world is ever advancing, continued Pluto, 
 and to satisfy the soul with what is for the time 
 around it on earth, or to think of carrying it on 
 for ever into the future, as all creeds do added his 
 majesty significantly, * is to stop. (Flaxius, my son, 
 be thou not like to them, but keep that holy emblem 
 the Cup going/) They both drained, and the Lord 
 of Hades resumed : 
 
 The selfish nature thus gratified and satisfied 
 with temporary forms does not lift its mind to, or 
 progress with Evolution. 
 
 Ha ! quoth Flaxius, light is coming fast ; I do 
 begin to feel I have indeed immortal longings in 
 me ! This then is the faith so long foretold which 
 is neither Buddhist nor Christian, nor Material. 
 
 * Ay, Flaxius, it is the very truth, as it seems 
 to me every one might surmise from the very 
 infinity of creative forms in nature, from the ideals 
 which they declare and the inexhaustibility of 
 matter and force. All goes on, slowly it seems, but 
 there is eternity to work in, and its great law is 
 progress. 
 
122 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 Now Evolution is the creation of new laws from 
 old, of new types from others exhausted, of new 
 ideals, as new patterns are created ad infinitum 
 by a revolving kaleidoscope, a continual out- 
 blossoming and ripening of flowers which were once 
 small, wild blossoms and are now hundred-leaved 
 grandiflorce. And these again will be raised to 
 newer and more magnificent forms. And you need 
 not ask what is to become of Man in all this, for, 
 rely upon it, where all is progressing, all is well. 
 He who is magnanimous, and who can grasp in its 
 fulness all this scheme, will not be afraid to cast 
 himself headlong into the foaming flood and trust 
 to its bearing him safely on. Fortune favours the 
 bold, and he who is afraid, whimpering " What is to 
 become of poor little Me?" will be carried away 
 in time all the same. But that man never loved the 
 beautiful or nature who feared death. 
 
 1 Now we may consider all mankind on earth as a 
 single man in hell living in Evolution, yet ignorant 
 of it, opposing it with his self-formed, conservative 
 ideas an old woman sweeping out the sea with a 
 broom and you have the key to the whole. 
 
 It appears to me, observed Flaxius, who had 
 listened to these remarks with evident approbation 
 if the taking a drink ever and anon and sighing 
 with content could be interpreted as Hear ! Hear ! 
 or fervent applause that there is a marvellous 
 spirit of romance and poetry and wild adventure in 
 Evolution as you set it forth, and exquisite inspira 
 tion to a higher devotion, and a purer and far more 
 vigorous religion than man has ever before dreamed 
 of. For this faith in nature with her ever-unfolding 
 ideals, and that of self, in " What I know not, but 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 123 
 
 in the best, that I know ! " is so bold and knightly 
 that before it all that was ever presented to man 
 seems poor and weak and dim. The Church and 
 conventional cant, or modern life, have well-nigh 
 crushed out in man every trace of daring or chivalry, 
 and this religion has in it that which will revive 
 such qualities on a far higher scale than was found 
 in the Middle Ages. 
 
 * Saving this, Flaxius/ added his majesty, that 
 Evolution asks man to understand pure science as 
 a basis and accept its deductions as to evolving 
 ideals, and not rely entirely on tradition which is 
 wellnigh folk-lore. And when the simple truth of 
 anything has once been studied or accepted, the 
 poetry and romance soon follow. Crede experto 
 Roberto I 
 
 Ay, by the Father of the Fathers of Faith ! 
 exclaimed Flaxius, your majesty has had some 
 experience. May I venture to inquire, he added, 
 what part this ever " freshly fresh and newly new," 
 as the Hindus sing it, this ever-beautiful and good 
 young lady whom I see here has in your tremendous 
 pension^ or boarding-school for eternity ? 
 
 Eternity ! said Pluto, with a smile. Nay, you 
 have not yet heard the last word. But as for 
 Albana Here he gave a glance of ineffably re 
 spectful, fond kindness at the subject of their dis 
 course. You have seen in life in many lands noble 
 women who, as Sisters of Charity or slummers go 
 anywhere to do good. Albana ranges through hell, 
 earth, and heaven. The pure soul is everywhere at 
 home, and love hath no bounds. We are not so 
 cruel in our punishment as to leave souls entirely to 
 themselves in the task of rehabilitation. She and 
 
124 FLAXIUS IN HADES 
 
 her sisters love and love alone suggest to the 
 despairing new ideals of life. 
 
 Ay/ cried Flaxius, hell is the gate to heaven, 
 that I see. A lesson which I should have learned on 
 earth. Yet man has been there longer than I without 
 learning it. It must be so " Pluto, thou reasonest 
 well, " he added. (And to himself, I suppose the 
 reviewers will light on that as a typographical error. ) 
 
 And now/ said his majesty, i the lecture is over 
 for to-day. Go with Albana as a Beatrice through 
 my realm and visit the condemned in their homes. 
 
 And the last word to which you alluded ? 
 inquired Flaxius. 
 
 It is/ said Pluto, with a smile, that all which you 
 have seen, or shall see here in Hades, as I have in 
 deed plainly said already, is, to speak Sanscritically, 
 only Maya, or Illusion. All smoke, but it rises from 
 a real fire. Itel missa est! 
 
 And what did you think of the Lower World ? 
 inquired the Fairy of Flaxius. 
 
 That it is misnamed, O Soul of the Violets! 
 replied the Etruscan, since it appeared to me as 
 being one degree higher than this. For in it the 
 average Philistine and guinea-pig and sinful gossip 
 are gently led or induced to find out that they are 
 fools or evil-doers, and that he who gives himself 
 most earnestly to life goes deepest into death. Now 
 man is destined to slowly learn this lesson through 
 the ages, and as he progresses in it, Science will, step 
 by step, overcome death. So that as we become 
 idealists, so shall we also advance into earthly 
 immortality. That, your Fairyness, is what I con 
 clude from what I beheld. In fact I am so smitten 
 
FLAXIUS IN HADES 125 
 
 with admiration at the beautiful humanity of hell as 
 I saw it, that I can only declare that if there is really 
 no such place there ought to be one ! 
 
 It will do just as well if you write and publish an 
 account of it/ replied the fairy. The main thing 
 is to teach mankind the great lesson that most men 
 left to mere commonplace and earthly ideals must 
 inevitably damn themselves. 
 
 Beyond this, O Loveliness/ resumed Flaxius, 
 * I was induced to reflect, that to avoid hell, satiety, 
 and despair, it is necessary to have an iron will, and 
 one formed on the strictest moral lines. And he 
 who can make a perfect will unto himself, so as to 
 make his whole soul or intellect obey his spirit or 
 conscience or God-within, has won all that he needs 
 in time or eternity. This, O Life of Endless Light ! 
 is the great lesson of Orcus. 
 
 It would have been well worth going there to 
 learn that/ said the fairy, had it even been all fire 
 and suffering. But haste and write it down, for 
 many there be who need the lesson, which is the 
 highest of all in true wisdom. 
 
 He to whom the devil grants 
 All he wishes, all he wants, 
 However gaily time be passed 
 Will catch the devil at the last. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDE 
 
 A LEGEND OF THE EARLY LOMBARD DAYS, 
 BEING ONE OF THE VISIONS WHICH FLAXIUS 
 HAD WHILE IN HELL 
 
 Said Chider the immortal, the ever young : 
 " I passed by a city, a man stood near 
 Plucking fruit that in a fair garden hung. 
 I asked, "How long has the city been here?" 
 He said, as the clustering fruit he caught, 
 " There was always a city in this spot, 
 And so there will be till time is not." 
 Five hundred years passed by as before : 
 I was standing upon that spot once more. 
 
 WHILE the learned Flaxius repeated these lines 
 with strange feeling, as if recalling to him missing 
 memories, he looked intently at every object round 
 as if he would wring from it some buried mystery 
 or long-hidden secret. It was twilight-tide in the 
 last golden-brown of a Carpoccio sky. Broad and 
 wide in the rapidly dimming distance were undulat 
 ing hills covered with vineyards and olives, like a 
 waving sea topped with green foam ; here and there 
 were hamlets of white houses, and above them 
 stately towered castles, like shepherds watching 
 flocks of sheep at eve ; long lines of stone walls, 
 flowing with maiden-hair or helmeted with cactus 
 all softly fair and far away ! 
 
 It was a beautiful picture ; but what interested 
 the man of many years, and by-gone lives, was what 
 lay close about him the grey and mossy relics of 
 
 126 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDE 127 
 
 an ancient ville it may have been a quaint, small 
 town of well-marked fortalices, or a brave and 
 beautiful little city in Lombard times now all 
 abandoned in its solitude. Here and there a run of 
 ivied wall and a square tower still held themselves 
 up respectably, as if opposing a stout heart to bad 
 fortune ; a fine thing to see in any ruin, be it of 
 man or marble. There were hillocks ruined arches 
 and now it was all a home for ghosts and owls, 
 or else some shadowy night-hag wandering slow. 
 
 And as Flaxius considered the masses of ferns 
 and weeds, and saucy acanthus, and golden blossoms 
 of many kinds, and arrogant asphodels, which seemed 
 to crowd themselves into the ruins and say : Poor 
 things, we will protect you and make everything 
 look respectable, the sage reflected : 
 
 "Tis all, as in every city where la generation qui 
 vient se moque de la noblesse qui va golden blossoms 
 or guinea-pigs flaunting weeds, rotting while they 
 cover that which is older and nobler ! avanti ! 
 Dandelions -pisciacane in Italian with your flowers 
 like golden florins, and your dandy-lions of sons, 
 begone ! 
 
 As if in answer to him he heard a bell from some 
 church cloister far away strike twelve, softly and 
 slowly, as if the chimes had been transfused through 
 the honey-golden summer air which lingered into 
 night. And with the last note all the weeds and 
 flowers vanished ; the ruins revived, shooting up 
 again into ancient glory ; towers rose from the 
 dust facades en-niching many a form of forgotten 
 saints transfigured and idealised, and over all 
 zig-zagging and working wildly into life-like, 
 pictured dreams, innumerable arabesques of old 
 
128 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 Lombard vines and monsters, warriors fighting 
 dragons whose tails ended in branching dragon-wort 
 and dogs who were half dog-wood, chasing wolves 
 who were three-quarters wolfsbane puns in stone, 
 for those who can read them. 
 
 Stern and unmoved sat the man of many ages, 
 looking at the wondrous transformation scene, as if 
 at the opera. Like one who has had for years a 
 season ticket, he keenly looked to see if it were 
 well done, for he was a member of the Eternal 
 Press which reports history, the great Times of all 
 time. 
 
 And verily he who has mastered the course of the 
 circling ages in chronicles, and feels their soul, and 
 has learned their lesson, may sit like Mephis- 
 topheles before the Sphinx and put such mocking 
 questions as he will, with all the might of all that 
 man may dare. 
 
 Then, one by one, and two by two, lights began 
 to appear in the windows, and a great beacon fire, 
 at first all violet, and anon waving into blended 
 emerald and scarlet flame blazed out on the summit 
 of the donjon-tower. And soon all the scene was 
 translucent and fluent with a wondrous glow as if 
 an Aurora had been suddenly born, or the Goddess 
 of the Four Winds, amid blazing laurel and roses 
 while the fairies sang a paean of welcome (as a 
 Romagna legend tells the tale). For with the out- 
 bursting light, there rose a strange, sweet chorus of 
 unearthly voices in the long-forgotten, Lombard- 
 Gothic tongue ; and Flaxius hummed softly to the 
 air : 
 
 4 Five hundred years have passed by as before : 
 I am listening to the song once more. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELIND& 129 
 
 Then shadowy forms were seen among the shades, 
 as if born from them, and blending in them, and as 
 the light grew, they too became beings of light and 
 colour and beauty, lords and ladies of the olden 
 time with their pages and maidens dressed in the 
 Latin-Lombard style ; in which as in its sculptures, 
 a rude, Northern strength submitted to, and was 
 blended with, Romano-Greek grace and ornament, 
 even as Hercules was subdued by Omphale, 
 
 Five hundred years, hummed Flaxius, that 
 garb once more ! 
 
 In step with the music, and as if moving with the 
 waves of coloured light, gracefully and stately as 
 swans in a dream, there came by a walking group 
 of gentlemen and ladies, who, seeing Flaxius, paused 
 while one from the latter said to him in old Italian : 
 
 * Mortal, since thou art here sleeping at midnight 
 and in full moon-tide, thou hast won the power to 
 behold us, and share our festivity. Join us and 
 enter the castle. 
 
 Gravely and almost sadly answered the man of 
 the ages in the old Lombard-Gothic tongue : 
 
 I am as little mortal as ye are immortal, ye 
 shadows of ghosts of days long passed away ! But 
 what ye offer me in courtesy, I do with thankful 
 courtesy accept. My lord Agobard of the Amal 
 race, I was by your side when you routed the 
 Romans at Ravenna, and when you retreated, 
 beaten yet glorious before the Huns in the Mark of 
 Tuscany. Know that your name is still to be read 
 in old chronicles. My Lady Chlodoviga, now Luisa, 
 I am glad to see that your fire-sapphire eyes still 
 flash as fiercely from under your golden hair as they 
 did when we last met. 
 
130 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 Knowest thou me? exclaimed a giant-like and 
 ancient warrior, with a vast grey beard, yet who 
 had all the fire of youth, and by whom stood a 
 younger noble who was like the elder in all save 
 age. * Am I still remembered on earth ? 
 
 Well do I know thee, Master Hildebrand, and 
 not I alone but all men living, where er resounds 
 the German tongue and German hymns to God are 
 sung, for all men who can read it have read the 
 Song of the Father and the Son, of thee and of my 
 Lord Hahdubrand now by thy side, unto whom I 
 offer greeting. While the Book of Heroes shall live 
 ye will live in it. 
 
 And thou, great master, who hast the serpent 
 tongue of Gunlaug ? 
 
 Ask me not, but I am of the sorcerer race of the 
 God Frey, and was ere thou wert born. 
 
 So in music and light they all gravely passed into 
 the castle, through brilliant, buzzing groups, harpers 
 and horn-players and citharccdi making music 
 threading the mazes of a torch-dance, till my Lord 
 Hildebrand led Flaxius before a lady seated beneath 
 a canopy on a double chair like a throne. The 
 canopy was of light-brown silk from Sicily and on 
 it were heavily embroidered dragons and leafy 
 branches in black and gold, with many red and 
 gold disks. The throne was of dark nut wood and 
 ivory. 
 
 She who sat on the throne was a queen of beauty, 
 of a beauty long passed away with the chivalry and 
 romance of the early Gothic time. For every age, 
 as Flaxius said, has its own beauty, which busts 
 or portraits never portray to those who come after, 
 though they may have been perfect likenesses, 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 131 
 
 any more than the dried flower retains its early 
 perfume. For there was in the woman s face a 
 nameless, stern, firm will, an unfamiliarity with little 
 things and small sentiments, the steady glow of a 
 soul which knew only great aims and was used to 
 great efforts, and such were all who were leaders in 
 those days, and in each other they all read their like, 
 which is a noble thing for noble minds. Yet there 
 was in her eyes a glow and glory of beauty and of 
 passion which betrayed unearthly blood and im 
 mortal longing, and as she looked with a smile of 
 welcome at Flaxius, there flashed into his mind a 
 feeling of joy which she little suspected, that he was 
 not one who could be bewitched or silenced or bullied 
 by any magic : 
 
 Five hundred years have passed by as before, 
 I gaze upon those eyes once more. 
 
 I present to your princely highness/ said Lord 
 Hildebrand, a stranger of great wisdom, whom we 
 found within the domain. Who he may be, Lady 
 Adelinde, I cannot divine, but I warrant him well 
 worthy a warm welcome/ 
 
 It is given with a good will, replied Adelinde 
 in a deep, sweet voice, which was as marvellous and 
 strange as her eyes, and which seemed like their 
 light changed to sound. And be not alarmed or 
 astonished, sir stranger, to find yourself in what is 
 doubtless to you a marvellous scene of enchantment. 
 
 c I am not, answered Flaxius simply, as he gazed 
 at her. There is nothing here so wonderful as 
 thou art. 
 
 Now be she fairy or sorceress or ghost-devil of a 
 peeress or diabolical princess, a woman is always a 
 
132 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 woman, and the Lady Adelinde, who was some 
 thing of all of these at once, divined that Flaxius 
 was no common mortal such as she had been accus 
 tomed to catch and cajole now and then, to turn out 
 of doors that he might find himself Rip van Winkled 
 or Barbarossa d or Seven Sleepered and seven years 
 older in the morning, lying with a rheumatism on 
 a cold stone. The lightly-rosy snow of her fair 
 cheeks flushed to richer red at the steady glance of 
 the stern, grey-blue eyes of her grim guest, in whom 
 she at once felt a power perhaps beyond her own 
 chi sa ? and it was with a tone into which she 
 infused her very best sorcery the kind formerly 
 conserved for kings that she invited Flaxius to 
 rest himself beside her on the throne. 
 
 You will join our banquet? she asked with 
 another professional smile. 
 
 I have had nothing to eat all day, replied 
 Flaxius, in true old Lombardo-Roman tone. (Note 
 that there was a great deal in this manner and tone, 
 and the princess caught it.) * For we all require 
 food, added Flaxius. Mortals or spirits, all eat and 
 drink. 
 
 We ! reflected Adelinde. The " mortals and 
 spirits " was an after-thought ! I wonder who or 
 what he is ! 
 
 Even mortals, continued Flaxius, require scent 
 and taste in their food, else it would not nourish 
 them. Mere spiritual beings live simply on taste 
 and scent, while the still more refined, or divine, 
 exist on perfume alone. You, fairest Adelinde, 
 have, I doubt not, very often dined on a daisy, had 
 the scent of a pink for an entree, and a sniff of a 
 rose for dessert, but that much you absolutely 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 133 
 
 required. There were even mortal queens of yore 
 who were thus refined. Chrimhilde was one. The 
 chronicle does not mention it, but it is true that 
 when our old friend Hildebrand, with hero Hagen, 
 ravished her rose-garden, they destroyed her larder. 
 
 * No, he is not a common mortal/ flashed Adelinde 
 through her mind, for she always thought in sheet- 
 lightning ere she spoke. (And I pray you note that 
 this metaphor is truthful enough, for a later Latin 
 writer tells us that the voices of all unearthly beings 
 are like thunder, there being even in their softest, 
 dulcet tones si symphonia canere veladtibiam versus 
 funderc even when they sing their sweetest in sym 
 phonies or pour forth their souls unto the witching 
 flute, a softly murmuring undertone, or strange, dark 
 suspicion of the grandeur of the Voice of God as it 
 speaks in the stars.) And the spiritual sheet-light 
 ning of Adelinde s thought was materialised in her 
 glances. 
 
 Meanwhile the banquet, or revel, grew wild and 
 bold. Flaxius ate like a mortal, or like three 
 ( Decidedly he is only human/ thought Adelinde) 
 and drank like four, five, or six. But there was no 
 change in the grey-blue eyes, or in his voice. 
 
 No, he is in-human/ reflected the lady. Mortal 
 man could never drink like that\ 
 
 Yet she had seen stout drinkers in her time, 
 in the old Roman-Longobardi days. Yes, they 
 drank like bricks, for, as ye know, a dry brick will 
 absorb its own equivalent of fluid. Which the 
 Latins rendered, Ranas superat bibendo, and the old 
 Italians Mike a German or a cardinal cardinal 
 virtues being, alack, more like carnal vices in those 
 days. 
 
134 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 Wilder pealed the music, louder laughed and 
 roared the company. From a revel which would 
 have maddened a mortal, it became a Sabbath of 
 sorcerers and witches, a Pandemonium of passions, 
 an Inferno broken loose. Even the figures in the 
 marvellous mosaics on the vaulted ceiling above 
 saints and kings and queens and warriors brave, 
 such as we still see at Ravenna became animated 
 and danced or embraced, trailing after them gorgeous 
 and jewelled robes, so that as there had been over 
 much decay and silence and death before in the 
 ruin, even so there now seemed to be as much excess 
 of life and tumult. ... A reverend bishop reeled 
 and tumbled down . . . while saints too fondly 
 fondled saintesses a rosy wine-light seemed to tinge 
 the air, as if the very hall itself were drunk, and all 
 were swimming in a ruby sea. Quasi vinis Greeds 
 Neptunus suffudit marc ! 
 
 The princess, wild as a maenad, wanton as a 
 faun, had cast herself on the heart of her guest, 
 while she seemed joyous as a mad panther, the 
 maddest of all things when gay, 1 but she still 
 realised to her unbounded awe, that she in all 
 deliria of delight had never for an instant cast 
 a charm or fascination over her mystic guest. 
 
 But what was to her astounding, well-nigh petri 
 fying, a thing new to her since a thousand years, 
 the princess felt a mighty thrilling influence in her 
 heart, a new-born spirit speaking in her soul, that she 
 herself was at last being won, instead of being 
 the winner ! But why this should have so fearfully 
 
 1 The frolicsomeness of a panther suggests intoxication. In this it 
 surpasses all other animals. Therefore the car of Bacchus is drawn by 
 panthers. 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 135 
 
 struck and startled her, not without a joyous after 
 glow of hope, will appear anon. 
 
 * Great and marvellous man, she at length ex 
 claimed, recovering her breath then bursting into 
 her true self and life, twas like a pale moon explo 
 ding into a noonday sun tell me who or what art 
 thou, now speaking our long-forgotten Lombard 
 tongue, knowing all my court and me, inaccessible 
 to my power, and oh, that I should ever dare to think 
 and dream it ! perhaps mastering me ! 
 
 Dost thou desire it ? asked Flaxius calmly. 
 
 * Does the lost soul desire to be freed from hell ? 
 cried the princess, in a long, wailing tone of a spirit 
 in despair. * Does the prisoner on the rack wish the 
 torture to cease ? Man of mystery ! she suddenly 
 cried, dost thou know my life and my doom ? 
 
 Well do I know it, replied Flaxius, * and now 
 look me well in the eyes, thou daughter of the old 
 Lombard line of kings, and yet a spirit s child, for 
 thy fated hour has come at last. Yet ere I tell 
 thee more, answer me, great soul, what has this life 
 which thou didst take of thy own free choice when 
 thou hadst liberty to choose among all what has 
 this life become, which was, as thou didst once 
 declare, the only heaven thou couldst understand ? 
 
 * It has become a hell, replied Adelinde, with an 
 immortal shudder ; a hell of weary, worn-out, oft- 
 repeated imagery of splendour, a tiresomeness of idle 
 power, with the real torment of the conscience that 
 I was a fool ! 
 
 * He or she is a long way advanced towards freedom 
 or wisdom, quoth Flaxius, who has found out that 
 he or she is a fool. Well, lady, thus it was that 
 centuries ago there lived on earth a beautiful 
 
136 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDE 
 
 princess of the Lombard line, who had a sorceress 
 mother, and a fairy Amal-Alruna ancestress, and 
 who, having been trained to all the mysteries and 
 magic of the North, as well as of Rome, and of many 
 races, attained to such power as had rarely been 
 given to woman. Yet through it all she retained 
 beauty and the love of power and pleasure, of magni 
 ficence, and the keen, fierce delight of preying on the 
 hearts and lives of men, and of living, even as thou 
 livest here now, Adelinde ! 
 
 And having gained great power, and on one occa 
 sion by mighty worship and great services to Tinia 
 the great ruling spirit of the Tuscan land obtained 
 full and free choice as to her future life for ever, she 
 said : " What that life for saints may be I know not, 
 but this I know, that the life which I now lead is 
 all that heart can desire, and I would fain live it 
 so long as a single fibre of my soul remains as 
 it is." 
 
 Near and dear to her in those days was one who 
 had lived in the ages, and been her teacher, and 
 more, and had tried to win her from her worldly 
 wont, and all in vain. So they went their ways, she 
 to splendour and pageantry in life and after life, and 
 he to study and observe in existences beyond her ken. 
 And in her gaiety and luxury the ages rolled on, and 
 as they rolled, there wore away the happiness of her 
 elfin life, and torment set in, the torment ordained to 
 every one on earth who succeeds in having to satiety 
 and excess his own will. 
 
 1 Man, thou speakest true, wailed the princess, as 
 the voices of revelry sank lower, and the figures 
 fading began to pass away, and the lights grew 
 dim. The music became softer in its modulations, 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDE 137 
 
 and the mind of Flaxius ran insensibly into unspoken 
 song, in accompaniment with the line : 
 
 Five hundred years have passed by as before. 
 
 One by one, he resumed, * the enchanted princess 
 lost her passions and longings. She had delirious 
 desires, keen appetites, an immortal and beautiful 
 thirst, an exquisite appreciation of all that is beauti 
 ful, dainty caprices, delicate and true. Wit, humour, 
 whim, wild-will, and Attic salt were as life to her ; she 
 revelled in music and song and letters as thou dost 
 in this life, or as thou didst when in the body. 
 
 The poor princess grew tearful ; the marble pal 
 lor of her fading cheek might have made sorrow in 
 the hardest heart. 
 
 * Yes, it all wore into triteness and commonplace, 
 even the being hungry and eating, desiring and 
 realising the same things over and over again, for 
 she had a soul, and every soul is damned, as soon as 
 it is clogged and stops working, like a bee that has 
 wished itself into eternal honey/ 
 
 Adelinde cried on. 
 
 But one thing survived it generally is about the 
 last thing to die out of any woman s heart and that 
 was the desire to fascinate men, to win them, to 
 impose on them, and to have her own way. She felt 
 it in her head and heart like a curse ; she knew it 
 was the poison of her soul ; everything else grew 
 stale, but that kept fresh. 
 
 And it had been decreed that if she could ever 
 meet a man who could resist and conquer her, the 
 spell would end ; but, alas, she had wished for and 
 won such a stupendous stock of enchanting charms 
 that she was perfectly irresistible and simply dis- 
 
138 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 tracting, which is a thing that stands between many 
 a woman and her salvation, in all ages. For it has 
 kept more souls in the dark, and made more ugly 
 fools, who might have become spiritually beautiful, 
 than any cause on earth. So from such mothers 
 many men are fools : an Agrippina has always a 
 Nero for a son. 
 
 Crushed to naught, fair Adelinde wept, till, lifting 
 her eyes to those of the guest, a sudden, tremendous 
 convulsion, one of transcendent rapture, mingled 
 with strangest amazement, thrilled over her. She 
 bent on him a glance which might have split a 
 stone. 
 
 The music played on ever more softly, more 
 sweetly to their words in perfect time. 
 
 Now I know thee, Flaxius, she cried. ( Vicisti> 
 thou hast conquered ! The last link of the chain 
 which bound me for centuries to earth is broken. And 
 even in the hour in which we meet, beloved master, 
 and in the instant of our love, because it is our love, 
 and I am conquered, I leave thee for the better life 
 beyond ! But, ah ! to have remained with thee, I 
 would have gladly endured this ghostly existence, 
 which had become a torment. All this is ended. 
 Now these walls will know me no more ; the peasant 
 benighted will no longer see strange lights flickering 
 over the ancient ruin ; the enchantment has departed, 
 and the spell of golden glory and glamour will no 
 longer shine at midnight in these halls. The 
 wanderer may now safely sleep here ; he will behold 
 no longer the elfin array, or my Lombard lords and 
 ladies of the olden times, nor be enchanted by their 
 queen. Sound for the last time my fairy music 
 your sweet strains will never more be heard in the 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 139 
 
 court of Adelinde ! Farewell, O master, we shall 
 meet again soon, and full often in a better life such 
 as thou hast chosen a life not clogged by earthly 
 desires or petty worldly aims. 
 
 As she said this, the princess cast herself in a last 
 passionate embrace on the breast of Flaxius, and as 
 she did so, he felt that her life and form were pass 
 ing away to a purer, more idealised existence. The 
 figure faded, the features, the face, last of all the 
 ineffable splendour of the Sorceress s eyes, in which 
 there was the radiance of a divine, parting smile : she 
 spoke no more, the music died away. 
 
 O love, in thy glory go ! said Flaxius. Never 
 yet passed into life eternal a sweeter soul, never yet 
 was a fairer goblet of the ancient time remelted into 
 a nobler form. O love, in thy glory go ! Lovelier 
 form did never fade, brighter rose was never broken. 
 Tis but a brief minute since thou wert in thy 
 inferno of despair, and now by one instant s flash of 
 love and humility, thy beautiful soul is passing 
 through the golden-pearled portals, and through the 
 halls of the heavenly unknown. Even I cannot tell, 
 not in this short space, what sphere contains the 
 fairy soul that hath forsook her mansion in this 
 earthly nook. O love, in thy glory go ! 
 
 Silent and alone sat Flaxius as the shades vanished 
 one by one. Last of all there stood before him the 
 giant forms of Hildebrand and his son Hahdubrand. 
 The warrior pressed his hand and spoke no word, 
 but Flaxius read in his eyes deep and full feeling 
 the knowledge of all that had passed, and a farewell. 
 
 Yes, farewell, my brave old companion of ancient 
 days, said Flaxius. Thou, too, mayst pass away 
 to lands beyond. Thou didst battle for glory and 
 
140 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 fame, and hast learned from me that it has been 
 truly won. Du kannst zu Land ausrciten so, 
 warrior, fare thee well ! 
 
 So he sat there till all had passed away, the glitter 
 and glamour of chivalry and a fairy court ; till the 
 high towers had become a low, grey ruin, and the 
 spiders webs hung again in the palace halls, and 
 there were vines on crumbling walls, and the stones, 
 themselves to ruin grown like him, seemed death 
 like old. Then, as in waves, the weeds grew again 
 up to where he sat ; and as the rising sun cast its 
 first ray on him, he started as if from a dream. 
 
 * Comedia luget, scena est desertaj he murmured. 
 Now if I wished to preach a new faith to mankind, 
 Adelinde has given me the text. For I now see 
 that hell is the place where every mortal can have 
 to his heart s content his own desire, as Pluto 
 declared. And this hell may be on earth, in life, 
 and all may know it in their very hearts. 
 
 Hcec fabula docetj wrote Flaxius on the revise, 
 * two or three morals not mentioned in the conclusion. 
 Item, the Spirit that is in the trees, the Being in green 
 leaves among the groves, the rocks and waters, or 
 the wanton weeds, reveals unto the poet wondrous 
 things which, being written, are as real in truth, in 
 beauty, and in goodness for the world, as aught that 
 ever happened in the past. He who has mastered 
 this in every sense lives in a fairy-land while here on 
 earth, yet they are few who ever master it. 
 
 * And yet again that great prosperity gives birth 
 to a vanity which is often an intermittent weakness 
 in men, and a steady madness in women, as may be 
 clearly discerned in the memoirs or lives of all who 
 
FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 141 
 
 have flourished in the atmosphere of courts, wherein, 
 as in a hot-house, things worth no more than weeds 
 in nature or in their proper state, are as exotics, 
 nursed up into such condition by prosperity, that 
 they despise every flower or plant which grows in 
 the open air. For who, indeed, has not known 
 some feeble-minded man or woman whose head has 
 been so turned by having everything he or she 
 wanted, that either is fain to scream as at some great 
 inhuman injustice when a miracle is not wrought in 
 some dire need as in the want of " diamonds like 
 the duke s"! 
 
 Now it was in the instant when her vanity was 
 humiliated for ever, and she realised that there was, 
 indeed, a man who was too much for her, that 
 Adelinde first saw herself in very truth as she was, 
 like Hawthorne s Man of Straw, and grasped the 
 tremendous truth of Christian humility. Which is 
 enough time for a great mind to be saved, just as 
 one handful of powder will in an instant overthrow 
 a lordly tower, while it may require a ton thereof, 
 and a long time, to destroy a mud-bank. 
 
 But every mortal, be he who he may, has learned 
 a great lesson, and taken his first step to divinity, 
 when he has learned in very truth that he is not 
 a god. 
 
 * Finally, there are many who imagine that old 
 age cannot attack a man while he has health, 
 strength, and physical or worldly appetite. And so 
 long as he is a brute or a fool, were it for a thousand 
 years, he could indeed go on eating, drinking, and 
 frolicking with his kind. But with experience there 
 comes a soul, and to that soul in time a weariness of 
 all that earth contains, be it what it may. Now it is 
 
142 FLAXIUS AND ADELINDfe 
 
 a curious thing to observe that as the average growth 
 of intellect in England has increased I pray ye 
 here put on your studying-caps the average of life 
 and the duration of vitality and intelligence has 
 increased with it. When the great Duke of Marl- 
 borough pleaded extreme old age in asking for 
 merciful indulgence he was then sixty-three no 
 one thought it strange. Tis hardly worth the while 
 to say, that now, few people would lend grace to 
 such a plea, for life is lengthening, and twill lengthen 
 on slowly it may be surely, into wondrous Time. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 THE WONDERFUL STORY TELLING HOW RAN 
 DOLPH OF UPSALA ATE THE SHEEP, AND HOW 
 MR. RANDOLPH OF WALL STREET DEVOURED 
 THE LAMBS. 
 
 * Now there are some people who think that those who 
 believe they are Were-wolves only suffer from what is called 
 by doctors Lycanthropia. But others hold that they are 
 indeed changed to brutes, and this cannot be denied, and 
 those who deny it are all infamous liars. Peter Goldschmied, 
 Hexen Advocat. i75- 
 
 IT happened once in the days of sword-songs and 
 sagas, runic sorcery and sea-dragons, that Flaxius 
 found himself in Sweden on a summer eve, gazing 
 at the town of Upsala. He sat upon the little hill 
 before it, where, as tradition tells, Odin was buried. 
 Ye may see his bones, to-day, in a paste-board box 
 in a case in the Stockholm Museum, where I who 
 write these lines was allowed to reverently touch 
 them, which is indeed a favour only accorded to a 
 pious few who still worship the gods, disguised 
 as folk-lorists and archaeologists quorum pars 
 sum. 
 
 Now as Flaxius looked upon the strange city, and 
 
 143 
 
144 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 the old tower, with its eight arches typifying the 
 eight rings or armlets of the All-Father, he observed 
 here and there on the walls, swinging in the wind, 
 the corpses of the strangers who were caught straying 
 about the country, and were then sentenced to sus 
 per coll, or be hanged, slung up, or hitched to swing, 
 dangle, swaggle, and go bibbety-bob in the breezes, 
 as a sacrifice to Odin. 
 
 A somewhat severe custom/ mused Flaxius 
 gently, yet doubtless not without its peculiar ad 
 vantages. The stranger within our gates often 
 seems to us well worthy of being gated, when he 
 gets the entire government of cities into his hands, 
 and runs the taxes into his own pocket ; as I with 
 eye prophetic do foresee will be the case one day 
 in Western lands, but late discovered by these 
 valiant Norse. 
 
 But for the Sacrificed on yonder walls. I re 
 member how upon a time in Rome when Nero made 
 full oft grim martyrdoms, that a disciple of Paulus 
 asked hearing me declare that there was humour in 
 all things if it could be found in the awful concep 
 tion of a God dying as a criminal to show his 
 humility and love for the world ? And I can recall 
 how Odin once coming as stranger, or in some 
 disguise, into this very town, he being their god, 
 was seized at once and hung on yonder wall, as a 
 due sacrifice unto himself. Over which thing he 
 merrily exults as if it were a wondrous racy joke, as 
 we may read in the Edda : 
 
 "For nine nights, 
 
 I hung on the wind-rocked tree 
 A sacrifice unto myself." 
 
 Truly the idea was too much for me, but not for 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 145 
 
 the All-Father of the Northern gods, who found a 
 grotesque humour in the conception of a Creator 
 baffled by his own work. So he carried out the 
 jest by being hung. Ah well ! he lost the game 
 after all, which shows that the Scandinavians were 
 not good myth-makers. We managed these things 
 much better in Etruria, Greece, and Rome. " There s 
 nothing sacred to a pioneer," says a French proverb, 
 and Odin was the Sapeur and leader, and discoverer 
 for all the North. The Norseman and Norman were 
 his children. Od or Hud was his name as the 
 traveller, and Henry Hudson was of the blood. 
 Like an old traveller, Odin would have his joke. 
 
 But as to this custom of stringing up, or scragging 
 strangers, and making them dance upon nothing in 
 honour of the Lord Odin, it behoves me to look to 
 myself with care unless I too would wear a tight 
 cravat, and I care not for such worldly vanities. 
 
 Saying this he wandered on and away, till he 
 came to a lonely place amid rocks and trees by a 
 headlong stream, where he paused. Suddenly his 
 attention was caught by a cry, which he found came 
 from a pit hard by. It was a deep and powerful 
 voice. And to it Flaxius replied : 
 
 Who calls ? 
 
 The voice answered : 
 
 I am one who has fallen into this pit, and have 
 not the power to come forth/ Then he sang in 
 staff-rhyme : 
 
 " To catch the Band-olf, 
 To take the Adelolf, 
 Bertolf, Eginolf, 
 Frekulf, Aistolf, 
 Hedenolf, Ingolf, 
 Kelolf and Kunolf, 
 K 
 
146 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 Orkulf, Ordulf, 
 Ludolf and Rachulf, 
 Ralf and Ranulf, 
 Wolfram and Tackolf, 
 Theodolf, Unolf, 
 Wolfart and many a wolf, 
 Men with the sword, 
 Bearers of Lances, 
 Go forth to battle. 
 To catch the Were-wolf, 
 They dig the pit-fall, 
 With runes and sorcery, 
 Witch-rhyme and magic, 
 So well they guard it 
 That the wild wolf-man 
 Falling into it, 
 There must remain, 
 Starving, a prisoner, 
 Until a sorcerer, 
 Pitying, comes to him, 
 Breaking the witch-spell." 
 
 Which means in prose, said Flaxius, that a 
 poor devil of a sheep-stealer, alias a were-wolf, is 
 here in the pit more s the pity ! There is to my 
 mind indeed I know not why something less of 
 crime in stealing mutton and venison than some 
 other things; in fact I remember that a great Etruscan 
 dramatist, now forgotten, once made deer-poaching 
 almost sacred. And I recall how a bold, brave 
 man said to a judge in my hearing: "Jedge, I m 
 glad you punished that mizzable creeter so severely 
 for stealing hens. Being naterally strong in the 
 back, it hes befel at times when the country was 
 thinly settled, that I myself have now and then 
 inadvertently stolen a sheep, but I allays had the 
 moral grandeur to refrain from Hens. Hens! O 
 the low, poor, ornery, medium-minded cuss! he 
 orter to be ashamed of himself! " 
 
 The man in the pit uttered an exclamation not 
 over-pious. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 147 
 
 It would serve these Swedes right, for their hang 
 ing strangers at Upsala, pursued Flaxius, if I were 
 to pull this poor devil up into the light of day. 
 Let us see how they have laid their hocus-pocus of 
 runes and witch-knots ! Why rubbish and trash ! 
 he exclaimed with a scornful laugh, * an old Roman 
 witch who tells fortunes for a penny would undo 
 this sorcery with a pin ! Ahem, let me try : 
 
 Aldebarantiphoscophornio ! 
 Bombochidescluninstaride sarchides ! 
 Tarchun, Hinthial, Tara ! 
 
 There the charm is broken ! Were-wolf, my son, 
 come forth ! 
 
 And sure enough the pittite came forth. His 
 appearance was not, to draw it mildly, as Flaxius 
 observed unto himself, absolutely prepossessing. 
 PunchiuSy a celebrated Roman jester of the Lower 
 Empire, once remarked of such an appearance, * that 
 he would not be a nice customer to meet of a dark 
 night in a lonely lane, on the loose. For he was red 
 all over, as if with excessive health, and awful in 
 muscle, an over-done Hercules, like to the Cacus 
 of Baccio or Bandinell in the Signoria of Florence. 
 His arms hung out from his sides like a turtle s 
 fins, because the bulging biceps were so great. His 
 hair was red and dishevelled, and his eyes glared 
 from under it with unmitigated ferocity, like those 
 of a wild cat staring from a pig-pen. He bore on 
 his left arm a wolfs skin. 
 
 But suddenly, ere Flaxius could speak a word, the 
 two found themselves surrounded by a crowd of 
 furious rustics, who had evidently been ambushed on 
 the watch, in the forest, about the pit. They rushed 
 upon the pair with angry cries, accusing Flaxius of 
 
148 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 having delivered the Were-wolf, also of being a 
 stranger, and ere they were aware, cast over them 
 a net in which they were helpless. 
 
 Flagrante delicto} thought Flaxius. Misplaced 
 humanity oft leads to woe. He who lets a rat out 
 of a trap loses his cheese. What next ? 
 
 The next was that the culprits found themselves 
 imprisoned in the witch-tower. Its walls were about 
 twenty-five feet in thickness ; there was just room in 
 it for two to sit on a bench, and there was one grated 
 window to admit air. 
 
 They looked at one another. Flaxius began to 
 sing a song written some time after by the Trouvere, 
 Marie de France : 
 
 " When lays abound, twould ill beseem 
 Bisclaveret were not a theme ; 
 Such is the name by Bretons sung, 
 And Gar-wal in the Norman tongue." 
 
 Gar-wall exclaimed the other prisoner. That 
 means me a were-wolf. Tis not our tongue, and 
 yet I know the word. 
 
 So I suppose, my son, therefore I sang, rejoined 
 Flaxius. So now while we are resting a space, 
 from our romantic adventure, ere we get out of this 
 somewhat limited apartment, I pray you tell me 
 all your story clearly ... in simple words, and 
 few. 
 
 * By Fenris ! exclaimed the Were-wolf, * I will tell 
 you the truth. Loki and Hela take me if I lie ! I 
 was a free, simple bonde, a plain small farmer, and 
 I lived from a flock of sheep. It was my all, and 
 hard was my life withal. Now I had a rich neighbour, 
 and one year my pasture was ruined by flood and 
 storm, and this man being crafty, and I as simple as 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 149 
 
 a child, he persuaded me to pasture my sheep on his 
 farm for half the lambs to come. But he so managed 
 by head-craft and law-craft, as to take from me all 
 I had ; and when I followed my claim at the Thing 
 or court, it went even worse with me, and I was 
 cast into debt, and made a thrall or slave. 
 
 Then I was mad with rage. Short words, master 
 I met a witch who gave me a spell, and I made 
 myself a were-wolf. Then I slew all that man s 
 sheep . . . one by one ... I set fire to his home 
 his family all perished in the flame he escaped, 
 lame and a beggar. And I was made a Wolfs Head. 
 
 * Truly a pretty tale ! remarked Flaxius. 
 Apuleius might have made something of it. Entre 
 chien et loup in this twilight, my son or entre nous 
 hast thou more to narrate ? 
 
 * Yes. I had taken from my foe s house a goodly 
 treasure of gold rings and coin, which I have con 
 cealed. Now, if any sorcerer would take the wolf- 
 spell from me and change my face, I would buy me 
 a ship and go a-pirating as a Viking, and so reform 
 and lead an honest life. 
 
 Truly men s ideas as to honesty , reflected Flaxius, 
 are indeed somewhat involved or as we may say 
 conventional. But what dost thou think, my son, 
 he said aloud, * as to our present prospects ? 
 
 Simply, my lord, that we shall be burned alive 
 to-morrow in honour of Odin. 
 
 c All lost except honour, quoth Flaxius. But, 
 my son, I have no fancy to figure as a roti, albeit I 
 propose to be apiece de resistance. Let us for once 
 in our harmless and innocent lives vary the monotony 
 of moral goodness by evading the law. All novelty 
 is pleasing. 
 
ISO FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 4 And how shall we do it ? asked the man 
 amazed. 
 
 Thou art a strong carl/ replied Flaxius, and I 
 warrant me that thou couldst tear yon window 
 grating out of its place. And I tis a mere trick, 
 my son can increase thy strength ten-fold. Only 
 drink now and then from this flask. So, so ! bully 
 boy, to work ! Work while I sing to thee a magic 
 spell taught by the great Ir-Ving. 
 
 " Hinculus dinculus trinculus ! 
 
 Holy boly bum ! 
 The Latin for chain is Vinculus 
 Nunc inspiratus sum ! " 
 
 It was with intense awe that the Were-wolf 
 listened to these words, and in full faith that he 
 attacked the grating, which he pulled away as if it 
 were straw. 
 
 Now try a stone, my son ! exclaimed Flaxius. 
 1 Nay take a pull first from the flask. There is a 
 spirit therein, unknown to thee spiritus vini 
 Gallici, duce uncice, fiat potatiol 
 
 Crash came a stone weighing a ton, then another, 
 then a third. The Berserker rage was on the giant. 
 Soon he had made a hole through which one could 
 have driven a coach, but he kept on. 
 
 Softly, softly, my dear boy ! interposed Flaxius. 
 1 Thou art too good an actor, and wilt bring down the 
 whole house about our ears. Now, if thou art ready, 
 I see the new moon rising o er yon trees. Ha ! Hes 
 perus ! I give thee greeting fond ! Come to the 
 green wood ; let us haste away ! 
 
 It was a drop of twenty feet from the window, but 
 the red man took it like a mountain goat, and then 
 caught Flaxius in his arms, like a ball, albeit the 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 151 
 
 latter was none of your light-weights, neither was he 
 small. Now, as the Wolf was still berserk-wode, or 
 half-mad with the tremendous magic potion, he gave 
 a fearful yell, turning townwards, 
 
 And shook his gauntlet at the towers, 5 
 
 when catching up Flaxius on his back, he ran with 
 him, * as a fox might run with a goose, thought the 
 passenger, at headlong speed, along the road and 
 into the woods, crashing through boughs and 
 thickets, over rocks leaping, through torrents splash 
 ing ; a-down a force or waterfall here, up a hill 
 there, while Flaxius sang : 
 
 " Va petit postilion ! 
 Va en avant, vite, vite ! 
 Tu vas comme Paquilon 
 Sur ta jument favorite ? 
 
 Go on, my postillion ! 
 Before thee lies the way ! 
 And thou art like an eagle fleet 
 Upon thy gallant grey ! " 
 
 Truly the similes were all a little mixed, but they 
 were in a devil of a shaking, jumbling hurry, and 
 there was no pause till they found themselves far 
 away in a lonely land, where it seemed as if the cock 
 never crew, the sun never shone, and the wind never 
 blew. There the Berserker threw himself matt and 
 flat on the ground, out of wind, and dead broke. 
 And then Flaxius noticed that he had in his right 
 hand a sheep, which he had caught up on the way as 
 he ran. 
 
 Truly there is a good soldier lost in this man, 
 said Flaxius. * He can forage even during a retreat. 
 So there was resting, cooking, and camping au clair 
 de la lune ; and the next day they went on, and so 
 
152 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 to the North for many days more. The wolf-man 
 seemed to be bound for a certain place, and Flaxius 
 followed to see what would come thereout. 
 
 When on a time as they sat in a sunset on a head 
 land overlooking a fiord, and far away from Upsala, 
 the Wolf-man said : 
 
 Master, wilt thou take from me the spell which 
 forces me when the moon is full to don this skin and 
 raven as a wolf? For, anon, I shall begin to feel 
 fierce convulsions throbbing, and wild commotion in 
 all my blood, and raging madness for murder in my 
 whole soul, the time for it being nearly come, and 
 then I spare neither beast nor human being. Now, 
 if thou dost not care to work the charm, there 
 lives near this place, a-down in yonder dale, a Finn 
 who is a famed sorcerer, and to him will I go for 
 relief. 
 
 Flaxius replied musingly, more to himself than 
 to his follower : 
 
 1 Yes, it is true. Long, long ago in Greece, I made 
 research into the Lycanthropia, which is one of the 
 oldest mysteries of mad humanity. And it was in 
 happy, sunny Arcady et in Arcadia ego where all 
 was like a proverb of sweet peace, that it first showed 
 itself to the world. 
 
 In that land, my son, was a wicked king named 
 Lycaon. Once it happened that the great god, who 
 was as the Odin and Frey of your faith in one, whose 
 name was Zeus or Jupiter, and in Etruscan, Tinia, 
 came in disguise to this Lycaon, who, to test the 
 divinity or magic of his visitor, set before him human 
 flesh cooked as mutton. 
 
 But that was a great sin ! exclaimed the Wolf- 
 man, who was listening with round eyes and full 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 153 
 
 belief. * To treat a guest, who should be sacred to 
 the vilest of the vile, in such wise was nidering? 
 
 1 It was tres low-flung, my son, said Flaxius, 
 who had a habit of prophetically borrowing phrases 
 from vocabularies of the future. Yes, niedertrdchtig, 
 scandalous, ribald, scrubby, pitiful, vile, infamous con 
 duct infra dignitatem regis. And it was promptly 
 punished, for Zeus, on the spot, turned the king and 
 his sons, who had had a hand in the little game, all 
 into wolves the first wolves ever seen and they 
 ran howling away through the door into the dark 
 ness, like mad. 
 
 Tis a fine tale, said the Wolf-man. And so the 
 first of us was a king, and if he was wicked, he was 
 bold to dare such a deed. 
 
 But whence came this manial continued Flaxius, 
 talking to himself, since there is a scientific cause 
 for all things ? H m-tim ! the Arcadians were of the 
 primaeval race of the Pelasgi, who dwelt secluded 
 from the mob of Asiatics, Egyptians, Levantines, 
 and God knows what all, who fused into Greeks in 
 time. In lonely valleys, deep in mountain dales, they 
 pastured flocks, fought with the beasts of prey, and 
 kept unchanged a mass of the wildest tales of sorcery 
 and witchcraft in freshest faith. So they knew fear 
 in its strangest form iheflanicus terror which seizes 
 on mobs of men or beasts, and the deliria of spectres, 
 as no other Greeks knew them. Out of such fear 
 grew the bewildering insania soanthropica, and the 
 awful insania metamorphosis of which Nebuchad 
 nezzar was the prototype. Finally we get to the 
 dementia lycanthropia, so interestingly exemplified 
 in thee O my son ! he exclaimed, turning to the 
 other, who had sat open-mouthed with wonder and 
 
154 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 admiration at the speech, of which he had not under 
 stood one word. By the way, what is thy name, 
 my son ? he continued. 
 
 Ranulf, the mad wolf, is what men call me, said 
 the other proudly. 
 
 * Mon fils, ce n est pas I instant pour la vanite 
 humaine! rejoined Flaxius mildly; but as regards 
 removing this disorder of thine, I would fain see how 
 thy Finn will work it. I promise thee a cure in any 
 case. 
 
 They went down and on, till they came to a 
 large, low cottage, buried amid birch-trees and 
 willows. At the door sat an old man weaving 
 baskets, droning to himself an ancient lay, while by 
 him crouched an immense cat of some wild kind. 
 The Finn was dressed in furs and woven bast, or 
 softened willow wood in strips; his face was withered, 
 but his eye was keen as an eagle s, and as his 
 glance met Flaxius, the two understood one another, 
 
 The curse of Ilmarin, or of Fenris, lies heavily on 
 him, said the Finn, indicating Ranulf. 
 
 He hath a double curse/ replied Flaxius, ( with 
 him it is at leys a or laedingi eda at drepa or droma, 
 the wolf hath two fetters to break for he is firstly 
 mad, and secondly outlawed, so that he must be 
 mentally cured, and then disguised so as to escape 
 the law. And I would fain see, my brother, how 
 thou workest thy spell. 
 
 1 By the Great Oak ! exclaimed the sorcerer with 
 a shrewd twinkle of his eye, I doubt not that our 
 methods are much alike. But if it please you, O 
 wise lord from the far Out-gard, to see my simple 
 work, I will most willingly do my best. 
 
 Saying this he took them into a room which was 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 155 
 
 closed and windowless, but in which burned a large, 
 rude Lapland lamp ; and having made Ranulf drink 
 of a certain potion, he rubbed him over with an 
 ointment, in the smell of which Flaxius detected 
 certain ingredients which were to him far from being 
 unknown. 
 
 Ahem ! he reflected, * extract of mandragora, 
 opium, henbane (order solanace<z\ sulphur, bitumen, 
 verbena, amico mio, dove diavolo avete pigliato tutte 
 queste coglionerie where the devil didst rake up all 
 this stuff? Yea, from the very ends of the earth do 
 these Voodoos and conjurors correspond, and the 
 Shaman of Kamtschatka sends the Ammanita mus- 
 caria unto Timbuctoo for sorceries. Proceed, O 
 friend, I pray thee with thy work ! 
 
 The Finn laid the patient on a bed, lighted a pan, 
 in which were strange fumigants, and bade the Were 
 wolf look him long and steadily in the eyes ; which 
 he did with ten owl-power till he began to blink 
 like a judge after luncheon, and finally went into a 
 deep sleep. Then the shaman, taking a kind of 
 large, oval-shaped tambourine, covered with reindeer 
 skin, on which were drawn many mysterious, rude 
 figures, began to beat it gently, while he sang in 
 strange and evidently carefully measured and 
 elaborately trained tones, the following : 
 
 * By the soul of him the father ! 
 By the mighty Wainamoinen ! 
 By the sun and moon and planets, 
 And their light upon the water ! 
 And the water all surrounding, 
 And the forest by the seashore, 
 And the bear within the forest ! 
 And the runic mystery written 
 On his paw, and by the letters, 
 Which the lightning writes in darkness, 
 Only read by Ilmarinen ! 
 
156 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 By the One, Three, Five and Seven, 
 And the Four which causes growing, 
 Ever giving, life-begetting : 
 Wolf, I charge thee leave this mortal ! 
 
 Fly along the running river, 
 
 Fly across the ferny mountains, 
 
 Fly into the pine-tree forest ! 
 
 Flee across the birch-edged meadows ! 
 
 Hasten to the oak-bound valley, 
 
 Or where slopes are dense with beeches, 
 
 Wade in haste through shallow water, 
 
 Where the fishes dart in terror ! 
 
 By the rock on which the warriors 
 
 Cut of yore their strongest record, 
 
 With the mesh of interlaces, 
 
 Which avert the witches glances : 
 
 Wolf, I charge thee, leave this mortal ! 
 
 Leave him so that when awaking, 
 
 He shall never more remember, 
 
 That he ever wore the wolf hide ! 
 
 Thereupon was heard near by the sound of a 
 wolf howling, and, as one would think, praying and 
 expostulating with the shaman, who was, however, 
 very firm, and when the Wolf was over bold, began 
 to sing again : 
 
 Fly along the running river ! } 
 
 Till at last the Wolf was heard at some distance, and 
 then still further away ; his voice ever less audible, 
 until it seem to disappear amid rustling leaves, and 
 mingle with the wind. 
 
 Admirably played, my brother/ exclaimed 
 Flaxius ; Apollo never did the trick better. Hyp 
 notized to perfection and cured like a ham ! Yes, 
 the wolf will be no longer at his door. And, my 
 dear doctor, I like your mise en scene, your drum and 
 your poetry and perfumery. By the way I can give 
 you a hint or two as to improving the narcotics in 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 157 
 
 your ointment, and yet, who knows? perhaps for 
 your rough folk you have the best fiat lotto Cras 
 mane sumendus* 
 
 And if Ranulf would like to go a- Viking, said 
 the shaman, * there is a rich man hard by who has 
 a fine ship to sell cheap, with forty men all armed, 
 and well. 
 
 Just like your provident kindness/ responded 
 Flaxius. Always the same thoughtful old chap. 
 And now for your fee you won t take it ah yes, 
 inter doctores, among us members of the Faculty, of 
 course. But permit me/ he said, producing from 
 his pocket a second flask of the mystic alchemical, 
 spagirical essence, to present to you a medicine 
 which is as yet unknown in the North. Taste it 
 and try its virtue on yourself! Jameson^ Dublin 
 
 Saying this he uncorked the bottle, presented it, 
 and the Finnic sorcerer, as the saying is, took a 
 sight ; that is to say, the bottle ascended at an angle 
 of forty-five degrees from his mouth, so that his 
 vision glanced exactly in a line with the side, as if 
 it were a pistol. He took very deliberate aim, was 
 in no hurry, being evidently determined to make 
 a line-shot, hit the bull s eye and bring down the 
 game, and then clucked. The shot had been fired. 
 Then turning to Flaxius he spoke no word, but 
 uttered a wink, and such a wink as Flaxius had 
 never seen before in all his mighty experience. The 
 charge had gone home, and he had brought down 
 his racoon, killing him dead at a shot. 1 
 
 1 Mr. A. Savage Landor, in his very interesting book of travels 
 among the Ainus makes mention of the marvellous power of expressive 
 winking with which these northern savages are gifted, and I have 
 observed the same among Red Indians. They learn it from their pow 
 wows or shamans. 
 
158 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 There was a Finnish shaman sorcerer who had a 
 wondrous interview with Hibernian spirits all that 
 night, and who was found next morning buried in a 
 magic trance. And far out at sea there was a 
 solitary Viking sail bearing southward, and from the 
 oarsmen came the chorus of a song in Icelandic : 
 
 Sing hey ! sing ho ! for the land of flowers ! 
 
 Ages had come and gone, and the cobwebs and 
 dust had gathered three inches deep in crust on 
 many an old bottle of wine in many an ancient 
 cellar, when Flaxius found himself of a bright, 
 crisp, autumn day in the city of New York, pre 
 senting a letter of introduction to a retired stock 
 broker, whose home was situated up the river, in 
 the Catskills. This gentleman was named Randolph, 
 and Flaxius was much pleased with him. He 
 was a genial, jovial, merry-go-tumble man in a 
 general way, with a quaint American mot for 
 every circumstance, and quick at filling the kettle 
 whenever there was any fun to be boiled ; but 
 he had withal evidently a tremendous hard pan, or 
 substratum, of what is called horse-sense, which is 
 a sixth sense supplied by nature to her Western 
 children. He was immensely powerful, in fact a 
 perfect picture of excessive ruddy health, being one 
 of those enviable muscular beasts who can bend a 
 horse-shoe, or tear in two a pack of cards ; and he 
 had a tremendous shock of red hair. 
 
 This powerful party took a great liking in turn 
 to Flaxius, forcing him to come at once, to stay his 
 time and plenty of it, at his villa on the Hudson ; 
 where, what between reed-bird, venison, soft shell 
 crab, terrapin and snapper soup, Spanish mackerel 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 159 
 
 and blue-fish banquets, pretty faces, festivities, drives, 
 and gaieties, the guest drew comparisons with the 
 pleasures of ancient Rome and Paris, not in all 
 respects favourable to the latter. 
 
 It is an invariable rule in life, that however 
 powerful and reticent a nature like that of Randolph s 
 may be, it inevitably runs into intimate confidence 
 when it meets with another of the kind of Flaxius. 
 Mercury does not melt more surely into lead than 
 the strong animal soul combines with a stronger 
 intellectual power. And the end of it was, to 
 abridge the tale, that one day Mr. Randolph told 
 to his guest the story of his life. 
 
 I was the son/ he said, of a farmer who lived in 
 one of the eastern counties of Massachusetts, and 
 who, being favoured by fortune, accumulated about 
 one hundred thousand dollars. I was an only son ; 
 was sent to Harvard, graduated, and went to practise 
 law in New York. 
 
 Now with all these advantages, and some plain, 
 hard-working common sense to boot, I still fell into 
 the teeth and claws of a rascal. All that I can say 
 in my own defence was that he took in and ruined 
 many a far shrewder and more experienced man 
 than I was. He was eminently pious, having what 
 we here call New Jersey piety/ the kind which 
 forms a part of every-day life, even as the skin 
 does of the body. It is never laid aside, even by 
 the thief in prison or by the keeper of the lowest 
 den of iniquity, as was shown in the case of the 
 Wickedest Man in New York, who was withal 
 perfectly sincere in his piety and neither a Pharisee 
 nor a hypocrite. 
 
 This man was a stockbroker, and he induced me 
 
i6o FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 by a series of marvellously ingenious tricks and 
 devices to intrust to him the whole of my property. 
 He was one of those great operators who are 
 technically said to live by slaughtering sheep or 
 lambs. 
 
 Ahem ! interrupted Flaxius, * you said lambs, I 
 think. So he got all your flock ? 
 
 Every handful of wool, and left me as bare as 
 the back of your hand. It was by a very simple 
 swindle. He invested my money, or that of others, 
 in stocks, which were manipulated or depreciated by 
 tricks to far below their value. If a man is a thorough 
 rascal it is easy in the immense range of insecurities 
 to find something which can be thus run down, or 
 up. So my broker, when they were down bought 
 them in for himself it did not take him long to use 
 up my hundred thousand. When all was gone, one 
 of his clerks told me the whole story. 
 
 I calmly and deliberately determined that I 
 would devote my life and all its energies, with 
 out one qualm of conscience, to revenge. I swore I 
 would hunt him, as a wolf. 
 
 Ah ! I beg your pardon, exclaimed Flaxius. 
 But this is becoming extremely interesting. 
 
 As a wolf hunts a deer. So I went into Wall 
 Street and worked as few have ever done to learn 
 all its tricks and devices, and I had a great advan 
 tage, for while others worked for money, I only 
 sought to learn how to work. 
 
 Well, it came to pass in time that I knew that 
 my enemy had invested a very large part of his 
 means in a certain manufactory, which was in 
 a remote district, several days away from New 
 York, with which it had only a partial railroad 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 161 
 
 communication. I managed long and well, till I 
 contrived to have it telegraphed that the entire town 
 had been utterly destroyed by fire, and then we cut 
 the telegraph wire, and tore up the rail. For three 
 days we had that stock down to nothing, and bought 
 it right and left. 
 
 The wolf was loose, remarked Flaxius. 
 
 c You bet ! And the best of it was that we ran 
 it all over town that mine enemy had got up the 
 whole thing himself to bear the stock ! So be sure 
 he was tee-totally ruined, but then he had mis- 
 cal-cu lated ! 
 
 Mr. Randolph uttered this with an expression 
 which was distinctly lupine, showing his teeth in a 
 style which recalled to Flaxius an ancient witch- 
 tower in Upsala, and corpses hanging on the walls 
 in the evening sunlight, and a story about certain 
 sheep and lambs, et cetera. 
 
 Yes, it was a glorious, a noble operation, con 
 tinued Mr. Randolph, and perfectly successful. I 
 got my hundred thousand back again with interest, 
 every plunker of it. Plunker is Cambridge College 
 for a dollar. 
 
 * Palanco! interpolated Flaxius. The Florentine 
 for a two soldi piece. The same size. 
 
 And that was only the beginning of my luck, 
 continued Mr. Randolph. * For of course the truth 
 oozed out, and it gave me a magnificent reputation, 
 in Wall Street. 
 
 Truly enviable, remarked Flaxius. Were there 
 many, think you, among your colleagues who 
 would have done the same? 
 
 * No, replied Randolph proudly, not a beggar of 
 them. They hadn t the nerve for it. 
 
 L 
 
162 FLAXIUS AND THE WERE-WOLF 
 
 It seems to me, reflected Flaxius, that the 
 ideas of mankind as to honesty are somewhat con 
 ventional. Ou, diable, va Vorgueil se nicker ? 
 
 A few days after, Mr. Randolph invited Flaxius 
 to take a sail in his yacht. And as they went along 
 before the breeze, the host said : 
 
 I don t know why it is, but the being on board 
 my craft and hearing the waves, makes me feel as 
 if I were an old Norse vikingir. Strange, isn t it ? 
 By the way, my family was of Swedish origin, and 
 yet the name Randolph is Virginian 
 
 H m ! replied Flaxius, Ranolf is Norse enough. 
 It means a raging wolf. 
 
 Hcec fabula docetj wrote Flaxius on the blank 
 end of the revise, * this fable teaches, that life is very 
 much the same old dish over again : the solid beef 
 or game of the dinner in the olden time re-cooked a 
 little and laid lightly on toast for a more refined 
 modern breakfast. And whether it was Thou and I 
 indeed, or the Elements and Forces which make us, 
 this much is certain, that somehow and somewhere 
 we ever were, and as something ever shall be still 
 acting. This is as much of immortality as a wise 
 man requires, and a deal more than most of us 
 deserve. Let us pass on to another story. 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 It is told in ancient story how to the Flemish court, 
 There came a knightly minstrel who made them royal sport, 
 That was as brave a Recke as ever yet was seen, 
 At fighting or at singing he won the prize I ween ! 
 So stately in the festal hall, he caught each lady s eye. 
 And when it came to revelling he drank the cellar dry. 
 
 WHILE swimming onwards down the stream of 
 Time, it chanced all in the merry, golden hours 
 of spring, when rivulets dance, and birds are on the 
 wing : 
 
 And a starry silver glory 
 Is at daybreak over all, 
 When the dews, like gems in story 
 On the queen like blossoms fall, 
 
 that Flaxius, when in Innspruck, sat one afternoon 
 in a shady beer-garden by the rushing river, listening 
 to two nightingales in a cage, which were singing 
 duets or holding talk in nightingale tongue, with 
 two wild ones outside. The latter were complaining 
 bitterly of the hard time they had of it to pick 
 up a living ; while the imprisoned ones bewailed 
 that their engagements to sing to select audiences 
 did not allow them the least liberty, though they 
 lived in luxury, being taken in whenever it rained 
 and fed on ants eggs, ad libitum ; which are the same 
 to nightingales as Whitby oysters, caviare and pate 
 aiix truffes are to us. 
 
 Flaxius observed that a broad-shouldered, big- 
 bearded, tall, and knightly man, who seemed to be 
 
 163 
 
1 64 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 half soldier and as much minstrel, sitting at the next 
 table, also listened to the bird-songs with a smile, as 
 if he partly understood them. On a closer exami 
 nation, Flaxius recognised in him the Ritter Hans 
 Breitmann, whom he had met in earlier times, the 
 same Breitmann, having in a small and very quiet 
 way a humble little sixpenny immortality, just as 
 the odd fish in nature have been preserved from the 
 earliest types, while better kinds, which shone more 
 brightly in their day, have vanished. 
 
 The sage bowed to the minstrel, the Breitmann 
 waved his beer-mug to Flaxius, and the two drank 
 politely, one to the other, and to old times. 
 
 You seem to understand bird-language/ remarked 
 the other. 
 
 Nun, yoost a liddle, replied the bard, who spoke 
 all tongues in a curious patois. Enough to get 
 hints or dips for songs. All poets know someding 
 of it, most of dem a crate deal petter as I. Yoost 
 so de Gypsy Zigeuners play bird-songs de whole 
 orchestra nefer twice alike, achja! alles sehr schon, 
 peaudiful ! 
 
 Could you sing me a song learned from the 
 nightingales? asked Flaxius. 
 
 Cerdainly/ replied Breitmann, mit bleasure/ and, 
 draining off his beer, he unslung the lute from his 
 back, tuned two chords, hemmed, and then sang of 
 
 LONG, LONG AGO 
 
 When de nightingale was singing, 
 All in de cool of eve, 
 To de pleasant breeze, 
 And de birds were flingin 
 Perfume from de trees, 
 
 Hei da, ri de f 
 Hei da, ri do ! 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 165 
 
 I sat by my love so fair and gay, 
 As we had sat for many a day, 
 And ach / wir warn so fro, 
 Loving as dere we lay ! 
 
 Dame Nightingale, de wood bird small, 
 Sang to us a melody, 
 How love outliveth all 
 Whate er on earth may pe ; 
 
 Hei da, ri de 1 ! 
 
 Hei da, ri do ! 
 
 " Love passeth all both great and small, 
 So now sing afder me ! 
 
 We sang old songs togedder, 
 Songs of de merry time, 
 And light ash any fedder, 
 We maked full many a Rhyme, 
 
 Hei da, ri dc ! 
 
 Hei da, ri da 
 
 He da ri da Latin ! 
 
 Unto a lute we sang dis lay, 
 
 And so we passed de live-long day 
 
 Until de Sun went down. 
 
 We sang old songs togedder 
 Of loves long passed away, 
 All in de pleasant wedder 
 Ash in de grass we lay. 
 
 Hei da, ri da 
 Hei da, ri dd / 
 
 No more can I rememper, yet 
 What I recall I 11 ne er forget 
 So long as life is gay ! 
 
 And as the Breitmann sang and tinkled his lute, 
 the nightingales who were present joined in twas 
 like Jenny Lind and Parepa Rosa in a duet. I 
 mention this, because in a later age the souls of the 
 two caged nightingales did actually reappear in 
 human form as J. L. and P. R. ; even as vultures 
 whom I could mention have reappeared on the 
 Stock Exchange ; and black-beetles as clergymen 
 
1 66 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 about town ; and butterflies as professional beauties ; 
 and divers ducks as doctors ; and an old owl as 
 Premier. But to return. 
 
 As they sat there at twilight tide, talking over old 
 times when they had met at the court of brave King 
 Roosevelt in Holland, there came the sound of a far- 
 off bell ringing vespers, and Flaxius said : 
 
 Ever since the earliest times men have believed 
 that there was a holy influence in the sound of a bell. 
 The old Etruscans and their children, the Romans, 
 made them of bronze, and sometimes of silver, all to 
 keep away witches and evil spirits. In fact, from 
 the immense number which are found, it would seem 
 as if there had been, at least, one to every human 
 being. 
 
 4 And dot was kept up py de Christians, added 
 Breitmann, who peliefed a great deal still more in 
 dem, and to dis tay it is said dot witches are afraid 
 of bells, witch is de reason de priests keep a ringing 
 dem all the while. As you see py de woonderful 
 story of der bell of Kaltern, here in Tyrol. 
 
 Tell it, replied Flaxius. 
 
 I can sing it if you would care to hear it, 
 answered Herr Breitmann. * Dot comes easier 
 to me. 
 
 All the better, quoth the sage. 
 
 And Breitmann chanted : 
 
 THE BELL OF KALTERN 
 
 * Oh the church bells at even, 
 How sweetly they ring ! 
 Like angels in heaven, 
 They murmur and sing ! 
 Where music can travel 
 Their echoes are found : 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 167 
 
 And naught that is evil 
 
 Can list to the sound : 
 
 So softly, so quaintly they chime in their play, 
 So gently, so faintly, then dying away, 
 
 Fading out, with the day. 
 
 Now no witch can hold out where the church Glocke hang, 
 
 For the bells being blest they re afraid of the clang : 
 
 At the very first sound when tis heard they are lost, 
 
 And shrivel like roses when touched by a frost ; 
 
 And the devil himself would be off on the wing 
 
 When the great bell of Kaltern began with its ring, 
 
 Ha, that "busted up" as a terror to see 
 
 In grand scatteration the whole company : 
 
 And good Christians, like us, aren t more frightened of hell 
 
 Than the witches were scared by the sound of that bell. 
 
 Until at the last, when their patience was past, 
 
 And the very end-thread of the skein being spun, 
 
 They swore there must certainly something be done. 
 
 And something they did too at once in the cause : 
 
 And you soon will surmise what the handiwork was. 
 
 There s a widow in Eppan 
 
 With glance like a dart, 
 
 A terrible weapon, 
 
 Which strikes every heart, 
 
 With the softest of laughter, 
 
 The sweetest of smiles, 
 
 Lord knows what comes after, 
 
 When once she beguiles ! 
 
 And this lady of Eppan 
 
 Is charmingly dressed. 
 
 She feeds upon capon, 
 
 With wine of the best. 
 
 Though whence she derived all her food and the clothes, 
 Or how she got these things, or came to have those, 
 Is what she did never to any disclose, 
 Which kept people talking as all may suppose 
 Either " over the pumpkin " J or " under the rose ! " 
 
 Now when people before them have always a curtain, 
 There s something behind it, not right, that is certain. 
 And all were assured that this beautiful widow 
 Hung out what the French call a very large rideau ; 
 
 1 Over the pumpkin (also the sun-flower) i.e. openly, these being 
 very visible objects. 
 
i68 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 [In German Gardine ; a kind of a pun ; 
 Since in dialect, girl and a curtain are one.] 
 
 But Hermann von Valk, 
 
 A chivalric young blade, 
 
 Who was not of talk 
 
 Or of scandal afraid, 
 
 Was all the more taken, 
 
 Enchanted and shaken, 
 
 Enraptured and mashed, 
 
 Beglamoured and smashed, 
 By the beautiful eyes and the wonderful mystery 
 That seemed to envelop this Lamia s history. 
 And one day when in sport the fair widow would task him 
 He swore he would do anything she might ask him, 
 He cared not a straw, if twere that or were this, 
 If she only would give him one rapturous kiss ! 
 
 With the winsomest smile, 
 
 That would fetch you a mile, 
 
 And a soft in her voice 
 
 That would give you no choice, 
 But to do as she wanted. " My dearest," said she, 
 " I can only ask something chivalric of thee, 
 Such as noble young gentlemen ever perform 
 When their hearts and their headsare courageous and warm. 
 And that which I want, you can easily grant 
 It isn t a matter of shall I ? or shan t 
 In fact tis as easy as jumping a hurdle. 
 Just climb a church-steeple while bearing this girdle, 
 The steeple of Kaltern you know it full well 
 And binding you shall turn this belt round the bell : 
 Bind it and wind it, when you have twined it 
 When this is done and my love is returned, he 
 May kiss, if he like, to the end of Eternity." 
 
 Now as you may have guessed, 
 
 This young Hermann von Valk 
 
 Was not truly confessed 
 
 A man easy to balk ; 
 
 So as soon as the widow her yarn had spun 
 He jumped to his feet and cried eagerly done ! 
 " For such a reward I here swear, by my soul ! 
 I d belt all the bells in the land of Tyrol ! 
 Give me the girdle ! I 11 tell you what, 
 I 11 return this evening" and off he shot. 
 
 Now though this Hermann had no scrupulosity, 
 Yet, as a German, he d great curiosity, 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 169 
 
 Which thing is the mother of all suspicion, 
 So he turned it all over with great precision, 
 And he said to himself, " I wish I could tell 
 What it is that she means by a-belting the bell ? 
 It s very mysterious hem ! let me see ! 
 Suppose I first try it a bit on a tree ! 
 There is nothing at all in the way to prevent 
 Such a little and harmless experiment." 
 So half-unthinking and half in joke 
 He bound the girdle about an oak. 
 
 It was a grand tremendous tree, 
 As vast as man did ever see, 
 Standing alone so grave and solemn, 
 With trunk as tall as the highest column ; 
 But scarce that girdle was brought around, 
 And scarce the belt on the bark was bound, 
 When a crash like a thousand thunders came, 
 And before his eyes all swam in flame, 
 As if hell had broke loose in very fact, 
 And from top to bottom the oak-tree cracked, 
 And the fragments flew afar and wide : 
 While Hermann von Valk lay stunned aside. 
 
 The bells, in time, had rung several tenses, 
 
 Before the young gentleman came to his senses, 
 
 And, when he got there " My life ! " said he : 
 
 " I am glad that I tried that belt on a tree, 
 
 For if I had bound it round the bell, 
 
 Which the witches all fear, like poison and hell " 
 
 When having said this, he suddenly stopped 
 
 As if an idea on his senses had dropped, 
 
 And he roared " Donnerwetter mit Hagel und pitch ! 
 
 Now may I be shot ! but the widow s a witch ! 
 
 Es leuchtet mir ein ! I behold it clear 
 
 As I see yon moon in her silver sphere ; 
 
 That was a nice little task the " widder " 
 
 Gave me to do, now I come to consider ! 
 
 Suppose instead of a tree, I had placed 
 
 That elegant article round my waist ! 
 
 That were a beautiful change of scene ? 
 
 The devil take her where would /have been ? 
 
 So sure as Bohemians drink slivovitz, 
 
 Burst to pieces and blown to bits, 
 
 So now I will go to my home, alone, 
 
 Beautiful Madame with you I Ve done 
 
1 70 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 I can stand a great deal," he said with a sigh 
 " But not the devil and so good-bye." 
 
 By this adventure you plainly see, 
 That two of a trade can never agree, 
 What one had tolled, the other can t tell, 
 And a belle, if a witch, is afraid of a bell ! 
 
 * Well sung, Herr Breitmann, exclaimed Flaxius. 
 And the tones were as sweet as the story is strange. 
 
 Vot do you really dink of it ? inquired the singer 
 with some interest. Can it pe true ? 
 
 H m ! very likely. You must know, friend Breit 
 mann, that from much strange but little thought of 
 proof, I believe that from the Etruscan and Roman 
 priesthood, the witches and wizards of a later time 
 inherited much knowledge, and many strange secrets 
 regarding electricity ; and this granted, we can 
 explain many of the most remarkable miracles 
 attributed to them. Now, admitting that they were 
 up to producing a spark by a small charge and 
 making an explosive, the widow s belt becomes 
 intelligible. In fact, a few ounces of dynamite 
 
 Vould pe a mighty crate power, when a woman 
 wanted to plow a man oop, laughed the minstrel. 
 And denn dere was poison, vitch dey understanded 
 petter still. As is set fort in a pallad of de town of 
 Munich. 
 
 I would like to hear it, replied Flaxius. 
 
 We would like to hear it, sopranoed the nightin 
 gales. 
 
 / would like to hear it, chirped a sparrow on the 
 wall in contralto. 
 
 And we also, cooed the baritone spirits of the 
 evening breeze, as they stole through the dense 
 foliage, rustling overhead. 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 171 
 
 The Breitmann tuned his lute, and sang the ballad 
 of 
 
 NARR HANS L 1 
 
 * Oh ! Munich is a merry town, tis writ by many a pen, 
 And all its city counsellors are wondrous merry men, 
 And when they meet for banqueting, to revel or to sing, 
 From the Rathshaus to the Frauenkirch you hear the music ring. 
 
 And every master hath a squire that on his lord must wait, 
 To fill his goblet up with wine or change or fill his plate, 
 And it always was expected, like the chorus to a song, 
 He must laugh at all his master s jokes and help the fun along. 
 
 Now one of these attendants was an odd fantastic wight 
 You could see it in his features that something wasn t right 
 An anxious, solemn countenance with sorrow interwrought, 
 Like one who knows that he is mad, and trembles at the thought ! 
 
 And if cruel people vexed him when his heart was stirred with 
 
 drink, 
 He would rave and cry the maddest things that any one could 
 
 think, 
 
 And scream and weep and beg them all for mercy in his pain, 
 Which made them roar with laughter and begin to tease again. 
 
 They called him the Narr Hans l, that is Jack Lunatic. 
 And all the lords resolved one day to play this man a trick. 
 So they made him eat a herring till he almost died with thirst ; 
 And then gave him wine to quench it, but that was not the worst. 
 
 For the wine had all been mingled with pepper for a trick, 
 And a subtle drug or medicine, which made him sadly sick, 
 So that he ran about in pain, with many a mad grimace : 
 It made the noble gentlemen all roar to see his face. 
 
 Well, well ! the fun was over and the jest was half forgot : 
 When again there was a banquet in that ever merry spot, 
 And since Narr Hans l made such sport for every guest to dine, 
 They chose him for the Kellner, or Master of the Wine. 
 
 The music pealed so merrily, there all was Saus und Braus, 
 Till the chairman gave the word " Schenk ein ! " and then the 
 
 sign "Trink aus !" 
 
 And this was at the Ending, when every gentleman 
 Must drink the Supernaculum drain to the last his can. 
 
 1 Jack-fool. 
 
i 7 2 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 To a drop upon the thumb-nail, nor leave behind a " rest." 
 And the wine for this last drinking was of the very best ; 
 Every cupful cost a florin of that there was no doubt, 
 It glowed like golden sunlight when Hans l poured it out. 
 
 Ha ! What can be the matter with the noble President, 
 That he looks as pale as ashes and extremely discontent ? 
 And now he s falling backwards in deadly agony : 
 And now O Lord ! the others are all as ill as he ! 
 
 Ha ! What can be the matter with Narr Hans l through it all ? 
 He is laughing, he is screaming, he is dancing in the hall. 
 He is changed into a devil he gave a comic sigh, 
 And played upon his Cithern as he saw the Herren die ! 
 
 There are four-and-tvventy dead men a-lying in the room, 
 The tapers burning lowly, all fading into gloom ; 
 The waiters with the music have all in terror fled : 
 There sits alone Narr Hans l, a-singing to the Dead ! 
 
 A-singing wailing ditties, all in the saddest strain : 
 How they poisoned him with pepper,and he poisoned them again. 
 Till he screams : " It all is over and the wine is of the best ! " 
 He drank a flowing goblet, and is lying with the rest. 
 
 It is a sad song ! murmured Breitmann, as he 
 struck the last chorus. 
 
 Very sad/ replied the nightingales. 
 
 * It makes me cry, chirped the sparrow. 
 
 Mournful, indeed, sang the evening breeze. 
 
 c Well, away ! There s a lesson in it for all, con 
 cluded Flaxius. 
 
 Comment by tJie Editor. If there are any readers 
 who would prefer these ballads of Hans Breitmann 
 in the original German English, he or she may find 
 them, and many more quite as good or better or 
 even worse in a little book entitled Hans Breit 
 mann in Germany, published by T. Fisher Unwin. 
 Of which book, several critics remarked that there 
 was so much German in it as to render it unintelli- 
 
FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 173 
 
 gible, which, as elsewhere remarked, was much like 
 declaring that there is too much Latin in the poems 
 of Virgil or Horace, or, in truth, of Merlinus 
 Coccaius, or the bard who sang the Polemo- 
 Middiana. So reflecting on him who proposed to 
 make a translation of Carlyle s Sartor Resartus into 
 English, the editor has ventured to clothe these two 
 Breitmann ballads in so much of our current tongue 
 as his humble means permitted. 
 
 Which reminds him of a little story. 
 
 There was once a French artist who found a 
 picturesque old beggar on the Pont Neuf. 
 
 The beggar was striking. 
 
 // sautait aux yeux, he leapt to your eyes. 
 
 He was seventy years of age. 
 
 He had a long white beard. 
 
 He was clad in a long, picturesque, ragged 
 gabardine. 
 
 A gabardine is a dressing-gown. 
 
 For ladies it is a peignoir. 
 
 Short sentences make long copy. 
 
 Copy is paid for by the page. 
 
 To return to our sheep. 
 
 The beggar held a long, rude staff. 
 
 Like Esculapius. 
 
 Or a Chinese barber. 
 
 The artist was charmed with his appearance. 
 
 He asked the beggar to come next day to his 
 studio. 
 
 The beggar assented. 
 
 Now as he had never had his portrait taken before, 
 
 The beggar supposed that he must come in his best. 
 
 That is to say endimanche, that is to say in Sunday 
 togs. 
 
174 FLAXIUS AND BREITMANN 
 
 " 
 
 So he removed his beard, 
 
 And appeared in a shabby steel-pen or tail-coat. 
 
 With a cane with a glass head, 
 
 And his shoes blacked, 
 
 And a red waistcoat. 
 
 When the artist beheld him, 
 
 He exclaimed with horror, 
 
 Oh, mon Dieu ! 
 
 You are spoiled, you are spoiled ! 
 
 Now if this artist had been a Leonardo da 
 Vinci, who could make a beautiful Madonna out of 
 an old man as a model, he would have copied the 
 beggar all the same, seeing the Reality which was in 
 him. 
 
 But he did not see it. 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 THE STORY OF SAKHARA AND ARJUN, WITH 
 THE WONDERFUL TRANSMIGRATIONS OF 
 DSCHIM CROW. 
 
 Gli Indian! e i Persian! e in generale tutti gli Orientali 
 ammettevano la Metempsicosi come un dogma particolare 
 > al quale erano molto affezionati. 
 
 Gran Dizionario Infernale da Francesco Pique. 
 
 Now it befel once in the golden time, meaning the 
 good-olden or aureate age, which Hesiod and other 
 poets write of, that Flaxius having seen the dragon 
 world, with all its thousand brazen eyes of glittering 
 cities, and looked bravely at them, and read their 
 meaning, found himself in north-western India, in a 
 then famous city called Chotahazripoora. As for the 
 date, it was somewhere the other side of the year 
 One, which is tolerably accurate chronology for 
 Indian records, which were not very well kept by 
 the Sanskrit Civil Service about that time, or any 
 other, with all their wisdom. 
 
 And in this particular poora, which is in Greek 
 and Gypsy foros, whence forum, so called from its 
 great wealth, Flaxius became a great man at court, 
 because he despised riches and was a sage, being, of 
 course, greatly honoured and admired and coloured 
 up as an incongruity, and inexpensive at that. And 
 at last the king consulted with him on all matters, 
 
176 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 social, familiar, or financial, from taxing a province 
 down to buying a new bayadere. In all of which 
 the Immortal displayed singular sagacity and ex 
 quisite good taste. 
 
 This monarch had, of course, three sons, by which 
 ye may know that I have started on a fairy tale, 
 the head of which is, as usual, the part which comes 
 last, or the youngest. This third became very dear 
 to Flaxius, because he was a brave, frank, innocent, 
 clever youth, worth looking after and loving. And 
 his name was Arjun. 
 
 Now in the gust and whirlwind, and flit and flow 
 of hailstones and rain-drops which make the pelt 
 ing incidents of court-life, there being little rest or 
 peace in it, Flaxius began to note that a cloud was 
 coming over the soul of Arjun, and from this ante 
 chamber of the dream, he soon passed to the bright 
 hall of perception, that his pupil or friend was in 
 love. And ere long the expected confidence came 
 in these words : 
 
 Thou knowest, O wise among men, that I have 
 never set my heart on love of woman. For the 
 article in its best quality has ever been so exceed 
 ing cheap and abundant about our court, and I have 
 had so freely my pick and choice ofprimeurs, that it 
 was unto me only as my meals. Moreover, all the 
 books which I have studied have taught me that the 
 preferring one girl to another is mere idle fancy, even 
 as tastes in food are simply the result of caprice and 
 custom, and that female nature is all, in fact, folly. 
 This I did steadfastly believe, till it chanced that 
 one day in the woods far beyond the city I met 
 with a maid of exceeding beauty, who, as I found 
 by conversation, was so witty and wise, original and 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 177 
 
 good, that it soon appeared to me that I had all 
 along been in ignorance and error as to what 
 Woman might be. And, in short, all my philosophy 
 went to the Seven Hells, where it may remain for 
 ever for all I care, being in love through and through 
 dyed in the grain. 
 
 And this girl, Sakhara, is the daughter of a 
 Brahmin of kingly race, but exceeding poor. So 
 when I told my father of my love 
 
 4 Why then, interposed Flaxius, 
 
 1 " Fire flashed from the monarch s eyes, 
 And high his wrath began to rise." 
 
 * Yea, replied Arjun, and, in short, he swore by 
 the Cow that I should never marry her unless it were 
 shown to be the special will of the gods. 3 
 
 ( H m ! observed Flaxius, I have noticed that 
 the special will of the gods is generally manifest in 
 anything to which we agree, and could the king be 
 brought to assent to this, in any way, the divine 
 sanction would soon be perceptible. Therefore, my 
 son, fret not thy soul, but go and amuse thyself, for 
 in love-troubles, as in all others, he who is least 
 uneasy comes the soonest to ease. I will see what 
 can be done. 
 
 It came to pass that the next day, Flaxius, while 
 walking in the forest and listening to the chattering 
 of the holy monkeys in the trees o erhead whose 
 conversation was, however, of a most frivolous and 
 unholy character met with a man who was evidently 
 a poor devil on general principles, but who appeared 
 to be a decidedly superior person, when one investi 
 gated the particulars, for he had a very intelligent 
 face of dark hue, a keen, shrewd eye, and a goodly 
 mien. He was clad in black. 
 
 M 
 
i;8 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 I beg you, great sir/ he said to Flaxius, to take 
 heed how you speak to me or even look at me or let 
 my shadow fall on you, else you will find yourself in 
 for hell or a long penance, for I am a pariah, and 
 my name is Dschirn Crow. 
 
 And I/ replied Flaxius, not being a fool, and 
 having travelled in many lands, and seen the vanity 
 of all things human, would probably be ranked with 
 you, could the Brahmins read my soul. 
 
 Ay/ answered the outcast, tis one of the pre 
 cepts of our philosophy, that mankind are all divis 
 ible into the found-out and the not-found-out. 
 
 A good saying/ replied Flaxius. Have ye then 
 a philosophy? 
 
 * We are the only true philosophers/ answered the 
 Pariah, for ours is the sole system that teaches the 
 error of excess of wisdom, law, and goodness. As is 
 shown by our literature, which comprises every work 
 of true humour ever written in India. 
 
 Better and better/ said Flaxius ; and I believe 
 you the more, because such a literature is the natural 
 result of such a principle. And what are some of 
 the works to which you refer ? 
 
 There is, firstly/ answered the outlaw, the story 
 of " Vikram and the Vampire," in which the Baital 
 teaches the sage in a series of twenty-five lessons 
 how to show himself a fool just two dozen times, by 
 being over wise. 
 
 Secondly, the " Life of the Guru Simple," by which 
 we may learn that a good man may be a great goose. 
 
 Thirdly, the " Marvellous Tale," showing how 
 Boorum-bunder Pop, the Buddhist, broke open a 
 poultry-house and stole all the fowls, by virtue of 
 the holy fourteen formulas of Sakhya Muni. 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 179 
 
 * Fourthly, how Ah-Sin the Chinese sage, who had 
 been converted to the true religion, and came to the 
 Gate of Nirvana, descended to earth, and meeting 
 Brahma on a pilgrimage in human form, cheated 
 him out of all his money at cards. 
 
 Fifthly, how the holy Brahmin, Baro Chor, pilfered 
 from the divine cow of Waschischta a pint of the 
 milk of experience, from which he churned the 
 butter of wisdom, which is in twenty thousand slokas 
 or verses. 
 
 Parraco tute, replied Flaxius in Prakrit, * I had 
 rather thou wouldst read it than I. Any more? 
 
 There is the divine legend how Krishna, the 
 chastest of the gods, made love, in extreme, to 
 twenty thousand milk-maids all at once, with the 
 moral of " Be virtuous and you will be happy." After 
 which he was always blue in the face. 
 
 * Truly, I do not wonder at it, remarked Flaxius. 
 I have seen a man look blue for less than that. 
 Any more ? 
 
 Well there is the Thieves Bible teaching the 
 divine worship of Kali, which they study devoutly in 
 spirit and in truth, all the more because it teaches 
 them how to commit burglary, personal theft, and 
 murder. 
 
 And with this the Baro Lit, or Scripture of the 
 Trablus Dom, who call themselves the Rom or 
 Romany, teaching the sanctity of stealing shirts from 
 clothes-lines, the piety of pilfering hens, the holy 
 art of passing off bad horses for good, and the 
 divineness of telling fortunes. 
 
 A goodly library! remarked Flaxius. Dost 
 thou know aught of magic ? 
 
 I have picked up a few tricks, replied the Pariah, 
 
180 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 which I learned from a Mahatma, such as the three 
 card game, thimble-rig, floating in the air, putting 
 cigarettes under cushions, and sending letters from a 
 distance. My one great game is, however, to turn a 
 girl into a tree, or the reverse. But with all my fine 
 accomplishments I could never conjure up my wife 
 or a dinner, and I need a meal now, most deucedly. 
 
 Friend, said Flaxius, I will conjure thee up a 
 good dinner and teach thee the art of doing it, if 
 thou wilt impart to me those tricks of thine. 
 
 By Yamen ! cried the jovial Bohemian, c thou 
 art generous, for I deem thy secret worth forty of 
 mine any day. He who hath a woman may have 
 nothing to eat, but devil the place was I ever in 
 where, if I had a bountiful dinner, I could not get a 
 girl to share it with me. By the way/ he inquired, 
 does this dinner of yours embrace drink not water, 
 you know, but tdtto pani or spirits? 
 
 Also that, said Flaxius with a smile. Behold ! 
 
 There was not far from them a large earthenware 
 pot, left by some traveller. Flaxius bade the Out 
 cast dig a hole in the ground. In this the pot, upside 
 down, was half-buried. Then he chanted in a mystic 
 ancient Indian tongue : 
 
 * Baro duvel dikkami, 
 Kushto haben, well avri ! 
 O choro Rom se bokalo, 
 Kekno mass, kek kokalo; 
 Kekno kil, ne kel pa mui : 
 Bitcha leste sari dui, 
 Te tatto pani kater Rom, 
 Om mani padmi hom ! l 
 
 1 This exquisitely beautiful incantation poem will be readily in 
 telligible to every Sanskritist, with the exception perhaps of the last 
 line, which is in a later vulgar dialect. It means, accurately trans 
 lated : I am a gypsy foot-traveller. In common dialect it would be, 
 Ro-mani pat-engro shorn. Omani for Romany occurs in The 
 English Gypsies and their Language. 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 181 
 
 Mighty spirit, look on me ! 
 Let a dinner come from thee ! 
 Outcast hungers here alone, 
 Hath no meat and ne er a bone. 
 Cheese nor butter for his mouth, 
 Send to him, I pray thee, both ! 
 Also spirits in this hour, 
 O Jewel in the lotus flower ! 
 
 And this done, the feast began, for on removing 
 the pot there appeared beneath it a rice curry, 
 surmounted with a fine piece of roast beef, garnished 
 with chillies, two chupattis or wheat-cakes, jaggree 
 sugar and a great flask. 
 
 Now by the thousand years in hell, which I am 
 to catch for eating that beef, exclaimed the Outcast, 
 * I call that a good meal. Thank the devil and 
 your lordship if ye be not one and the same and 
 for what I am about to devour, make us truly 
 thankful/ as the tiger said when he ate up the 
 Buddha. Yeck lav se tacho sa desk : 
 
 * One word s as good as ten, 
 Leather away Amen ! 
 
 And toddy by all the goblins ! he exclaimed 
 as he sampled the bottle, strong and abundant 
 enough to demoralise an elephant. Verily I can now 
 be clear through to the further end of my ideal of 
 bliss, for, as your lordship knows, that man is a 
 bachtalo beng or lucky devil who knows when he is 
 well off, or as the great Sanskrit poet, Jan Kitz, 
 sings : 
 
 "It is a flaw, 
 
 In happiness to see beyond our bourne, 
 It forces us in summer skies to mourn, 
 And spoils the singing of the nightingale." 
 
 * Therefore let us not see beyond our bourne at 
 least not till we get there ; which, as our great 
 
182 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 ancestor Cain says in his precepts, is more than 
 most men manage to do. 
 
 Was Cain thy ancestor? inquired Flaxius. I 
 would fain hear the legend if one there be ? 
 
 Thou shalt hear it in spirit and in truth, replied 
 the Outcast. In the spirit of toddy, and on the 
 truth of a gypsy, know then, what is known to 
 everybody of every language, and in every land, 
 that in the beginning were Cainos and Abelos. And 
 unto them was a sister. And Cainos slew his 
 brother and took his sister to wife. But she, being 
 told that it was wrong, fled from him, and took 
 refuge in the sun, where she dwells to this day. 
 Then Cainos for all his sins was sent to live in the 
 moon, and because it is cold, there he is always 
 bearing thorns to feed the fire. And longing for 
 his sister, he, in the moon, ever pursues her. But 
 others say that when the sun has set and ere the 
 moon nas risen, then they meet, which accounts for 
 their love lasting so long, since they do not see too 
 much of one another. But however it be, they are 
 gods of all us wanderers, because they are always 
 wandering over the heavens. And we are their 
 descendants, and therefore under a curse, for which 
 indeed we do not care a curse when we can get 
 
 toddy ! 
 
 " When the evening fire is burning, 
 And the women return from town ; 
 And the crows to their nests returning, 
 We will drink till the moon goes down : 
 
 And merrily sing and prattle, 
 While music rings over the plain ; 
 And if there s enough in the bottle, 
 We ll drink till she rises again." 
 
 Now the sun is called in our tongue Kam or 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 183 
 
 Kan, and the moon Tchen or Zen, even as tongues 
 turn it, hence we their children are the Zen-kan or 
 Zingan. And this is the true story of our race, 
 whence ye may see what a fine lot we are. 
 
 And now, your Illustriousness, since it takes two 
 to make a bargain, or as a bargain requires a pair, 
 which must consist of a couple, and as duality 
 demands separate units, or a double of singles, and 
 a duplicate repeated units, and twins bi-fold births, 
 and as according to the Vedas there are needed 
 twice-five fingers to make a hand-shake, and the 
 Shastras assert that if one parent be wanting there 
 can be no child born 
 
 Heaven-a-mercy, man ! cried Flaxius, what the 
 devil art thou driving at ? 
 
 Only this, O heaven born ! that as thou hast 
 kept thy word and given me the dinner without an 
 end, and the flask inexhaustible, I will forthwith 
 repay, reciprocate, discharge, settle, acquit bequests 
 with, strike a balance, clear off old scores, liquidate, 
 poney up my dues to the tune of " On the nail," and 
 show myself a man of honour and a gentleman by 
 telling thee how to turn a tree into a girl or a girl 
 into a tree, albeit I do not guarantee the quality 
 of the timber. But by their fruit shall ye know 
 them. 
 
 Tis well, answered Flaxius. Proceed with thy 
 process. 
 
 And the Outcast proceeded. But here I must 
 draw the veil of secrecy over the mirror of curiosity. 
 I did not mind, O reader, letting thee know how 
 to raise a dinner by means of sorcery, but I draw 
 the line at girls. For there are, as it is, rather too 
 many girls in the world if we may believe the 
 
1 84 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 Census, and too few trees, if we are to put faith in 
 agricultural newspapers, and therefore I think it 
 just as well that this metamorphosis be not added 
 to those of Daphne and the Dryads. 
 
 When Flaxius returned to the Ruppeny-gav or 
 Silver City of Chotahazripoora, he went straight to 
 the golden palace or Sonafilisin and entered the 
 Tatcho-bar Kamora or Diamond Chamber, where he 
 found the king shadowing the day time of his 
 lordly soul in the dark void of night with sleepless 
 woe, which is to say that he was in a gloomy fit of 
 the blues and bored to death. 
 
 4 Sarshan, your majesty. How art thou ? inquired 
 Flaxius in the court tongue. 
 
 Sarshan yer kokero, puro ! How are you 
 yourself, O ancient? replied the mighty monarch. 
 As for me, I am in trouble. I have, as thou 
 knowest, more than a thousand mothers-in-law in 
 my family? 
 
 Yea, replied Flaxius, and I have known a man 
 ere now to be always in hot water with only one. 
 
 And they are all nagging me to get first of all 
 my three sons married, and then the daughters. 
 Canst thou see a way out of it? he added 
 anxiously. 
 
 Flaxius reflected a long time, in order not to 
 make his wisdom too cheap, nor yet to set himself 
 by flippancy too light, too high above the level of 
 his king, and then replied : 
 
 Thou knowest, O sublime Superiority, that I 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 185 
 
 have deeply studied the science of dreams, and can 
 command them. Therefore will I somnambulate in 
 sleep, and draw conclusion from its imagery. 
 
 * "The figments and conceits, the myths and fads, 
 The grey chimeras and the visions blue ; 
 The phantasms and shadows of the soul, 
 The whims and vagaries and rhapsodies, 
 Extravaganzas of the booming soul, 
 The hum-bugs which go sailing in the dark, 
 The air-drawn dodgers and the bug-bears wild, 
 The Flying Dutchmen in the sea of sleep, 
 The castles in the air and homes i the moon, 
 Utopias and fair Atlantises, 
 The happy valleys of the bards of yore, 
 The fairy lands and the Millenia 
 Of Prester John and of Micomicon, 
 Wherein Alnaschar found le pot au lait, 
 And where the fay Morgana rules supreme, 
 Shall be explored down to their deepest dream, 
 And the last shadow of their last ideal, 
 And the last fairy coin struck in their mint 
 Be studied deeply in the minutest case, 
 To answer well thy question, O my King !" 
 
 S e pmi duvel ! As my Spirit may help me! 
 cried the monarch in admiration. * I will say this 
 for thee, Flaxius, that beside thee as a bard Kalidasa 
 is nowhere, and that what thou canst not do in 
 poetry is not worth a d-oing. Therefore, let us 
 drink ! 
 
 And they drank. 
 
 When Flaxius appeared the next morning before 
 his majesty, it was with the grand and important 
 air of a man who has been dreaming on a royal 
 order, and filled up every detail in first class style. 
 The courtiers looked at him with awe, and even his 
 Highness regarded him with a kind of fearful 
 respect, as if apprehending that he might go off, or 
 explode, or burst in some mysterious way. He was 
 
1 86 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 manifestly relieved when an attendant maiden 
 brought to the sage a golden goblet of Soma, or 
 India pale ale ; and when the wise man had 
 drained off about a pint thereof, he sighed as if 
 all danger of a conflagration was for the time 
 extinguished. So great a thing is it to be known 
 to be possessed of a secret. 
 
 * By your majesty s royal command ! said Flaxius 
 and all around became as still as the mice-stars in 
 heaven before the cat-moon By your majesty s 
 royal command I dreamed and I found myself in a far 
 isle of light holding a trumpet shell of pearly hue, 
 which Glendoveers do blow whene er they meet. 
 Then from a bowery strand just opposite an island 
 of the sea there came enchantment with the shifting 
 wind that did both drown and keep alive my ears. 
 And as I listened all my sense was filled with that 
 new blissful golden melody ; a living death was in 
 each gust of sounds ; each family of rapturous, 
 hurried notes, aunts, cousins, nieces, daughters, 
 all most beautiful, fell one after one, yet all at 
 once, like pearl beads dropping sudden from their 
 strings. 
 
 Ahem ! muttered the Outcast, who had in the 
 daring disguise of a respectable person found his 
 way into the assembly. l It seems to me that I have 
 heard something like that before ! 
 
 Then, continued Flaxius, there rose amid wild 
 clouds incarnadine, the form of Siva with his glory 
 on. He bore in one hand the Trzgula or trident ; 
 and without speaking, he pointed impressively at its 
 three points. 
 
 All present were in breathless awe. 
 
 Then he disappeared, and I beheld the terrible 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 187 
 
 Vishnu. He held up his three fingers and vanished 
 in turn. 
 
 And anon from the cloud there came an awful 
 Rakhshi or demon. And he held up three arrows- 
 winked at me and nodded, and disappeared in a 
 clap of thunder ! 
 
 From which I learned, O king, that thou must 
 gather together all the most beautiful princesses 
 who are eligible. Then turn all the people in the 
 town out of their houses for one day, and put a 
 princess into every house. 
 
 The excitement was at its height. 
 
 Then, O king, let thy three sons, armed with 
 bows and arrows, send each a shaft at random into 
 the city. And where it hits, there will each bride be 
 found. 
 
 What thou hast said, O Flaxius, shall be done, 
 replied the king. 
 
 And it was done, secundmn artem y in the proper 
 way. Each prince took his place at the great 
 window, and let fly an arrow. The eldest and the 
 second-best son, one after the other, hit a house. It 
 was considered a great miracle that both of them 
 were perfectly delighted with the success which 
 attended their aim, but Flaxius, observing a wink in 
 the eye of the Outcast, elicited from him the fact 
 that both of the princes, who were excellent 
 archers, had been previously and respectively in 
 love with these very girls, and that there had 
 been, in fact, a little arrangement made by the 
 help of the gypsy. For as Rum Kove, the poet, 
 sang in Zend : 
 
 Full many a shaft at random sent 
 Hits mark the archer surely meant. 
 
1 88 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 Now it happened that Arjun, the youngest, could 
 pull the long bow better than any of them ; in fact, 
 he had been heard to say that he could split a hair 
 at a hundred yards, or hit a thunderbolt with a bolt 
 head as it passed whizzing by. And there was in 
 the armoury of the palace a mighty bow which no 
 one else on earth could bend, which he chose for this 
 occasion, but by the secret suggestion of Flaxius he 
 aimed over the town. And when he discharged the 
 arrow, he gave the bow and it, at the instant, a 
 peculiar impulse, which skilled archers understand, 
 so that the shaft flew miles away far into the 
 forest. 
 
 Then messengers were sent to trace its course, 
 which they did ; and on returning repeated that they 
 had found it sticking in the top of a tamarind-tree, 
 in the foliage, like a hairpin passed through the 
 chignon or gathered hair of a maiden. 
 
 So the king summoned Flaxius and all the learned 
 men to know what should be done. And it was 
 unanimously agreed that Arjun must marry the tree ; 
 there being many precedents to prove that trees 
 were a kind of human beings, only that they grew 
 with their heads in the ground, their forked branches 
 being legs. Also, that according to legends of many 
 lands, men have descended from them. 
 
 [On which subject the Outcast expressed his 
 assent, sottb voce, to Flaxius, but added that he 
 believed the said men had first ascended them to 
 steal fruit.] 
 
 So there was a procession formed ; and going to 
 the tamarind-tree, the king and prince and all con 
 cerned bowed before it, expressing hopes that it 
 was in good health ; and finally proposed the 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 189 
 
 marriage. When at that instant came a charming 
 breeze, before which the tree bowed its head as if in 
 assent, and the match was concluded. Then rich 
 gifts were laid before the bride and left there with 
 a guard, and the king and his cortege returned 
 home. 
 
 When lo ! the next day there were found spread on 
 a table in the grand hall of the palace, other gifts, 
 exceeding rich, with a purple scroll, on which was 
 inscribed in letters of silver : 
 
 The Tamarind herself commends, 
 And to the prince these presents sends, 
 And humbly begs of him that he 
 Will seek the forest speedily ; 
 Unto the spot where she doth bide, 
 And bear away his loving bride. 
 
 So they all went once more. And when they 
 were before the tree, they saw it slowly shrink to 
 smaller space, its foliage turning into curling hair, 
 till in its place there stood a maiden fair. 
 
 And this was, of course, the fair Sakhara, who 
 being found to be of royal blood, was duly wedded 
 to Arjun the king sagely observing that it was 
 manifestly the will of the gods. And here endeth 
 the story of her and of Arjun. 
 
 Now by the powerful influence of Flaxius there 
 was a special investigation of the case of the Out 
 cast, by the entire College of Brahmins, with a view 
 to his rehabilitation, since there were precedents for 
 it. And it was found that in a previous existence, 
 a million of years before, he had been a Crow. And 
 of him the most learned of the Brahmins discovered 
 the following history of his Jatakas in an ancient 
 Sanscrit scroll : 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 THE HISTORY OF BHUSANDA 
 
 Contemplate steadfastly the divine glory, cast thy 
 soul into the sparkling depths of the infinite sea, 
 whose fishes are gods, whose waves are the ages ! 
 
 It is written in the Ramayana, it was told of yore 
 by the Rishis. Once there was a man named 
 Bhusanda, who was the Crow that related to the 
 eagle Garuda, the bird of Vishnu, the deeds of 
 Rama to convince him that the latter was greater 
 than Shiva and Vishnu. 
 
 Nor was Bhusanda utterly evil, neither was he 
 bad, but the spirit of mockery was in him, for, ever 
 doing good deeds, he wanted reverence ; he was as 
 a silver bell with a flaw. 
 
 And when, a youth, Bhusanda was worshipping 
 Shiva in the temple, there entered the holy Guru, 
 his teacher. And Bhusanda, seeing him enter, for 
 a jest, being also mightily exalted with ideas of 
 his own wisdom, did not greet or notice his Guru. 
 Which thing the teacher, in his extreme humility 
 and mildness, would have passed unnoted. But the 
 God above, in his rage at this insolence, thundered 
 from heaven at Bhusanda the awful doom of eternal 
 damnation. 
 
 Then the Guru who knew not revenge or anger, 
 flung himself on his face before the God and prayed 
 for a remission of the sentence. And the God, 
 relenting, said : 
 
 * He shall pass through one thousand transforma 
 tions, in all of them shall he be poor, but crafty and 
 wise. He shall adore Vishnu, yet ever call aloud 
 my name ! 
 
 Then after his death, he became a serpent, and 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 191 
 
 so passed through a thousand forms, and at last 
 became a Brahmin again. Yet was he still, as erst, 
 incorrigible ; and the devilry of quizzing and satire 
 would not leave his heart, despite his goodness. 
 Among men, gods, and devils, no one dared so much 
 as he for a joke. 
 
 Now there are ten sons of Brahma, even the ten 
 Rishis, and these are : Daksha, Pulastya, Agni, 
 Washishta, Brigu, Atri, Maritshi, Narada, Pulagen, 
 Kratu. Each of them all of them truly an awful 
 gooroo \ And one day when one of these was 
 lecturing on the attributes of God, his own father, 
 Bhusanda, ventured to differ with him in opinion, yea 
 even to contradict him. Whereupon the Rishi, in a 
 rage at such stupendous impudence, condemned him 
 in his next life to become a crow ; which he did, but 
 took it all so cheerfully, and continued to say so many 
 good things, that the Rishi, to soften the sentence, 
 taught him to call the name of Rama. [Whom the 
 Romi or Gypsies worship, and from whom they take 
 their name, the crow being among the Brahmins the 
 symbol of the sun, who is the mother of the Romany.] 
 
 Now when Rama was born, the Crow flew unto 
 him, and accompanied him in all his childhood; and 
 as the god performed his great deeds, Bhusanda, 
 every morning, on the top of the Blue Mountain, 
 narrated them to all the birds assembled, who spread 
 them over all the world. And so in due time it was 
 written that he should become a man again, named 
 Dschim Crow, and turn up some day or other at 
 the court of the city of Chotahazripoora in company 
 with a great and marvellous sage named F . 
 
 Here the manuscript ended abruptly, and it seemed 
 
192 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 to one or two experts present that these last lines 
 were in a somewhat different ink from the rest, and 
 looked like a later addition. But these profitably 
 held their peace. And as it was a tremendous 
 feather in the caps of the assembled Brahmins to 
 have discovered the long lost Crow, they made the 
 most of him. 
 
 Whereupon the Crow fell into a trance, which 
 lasted many hours. And when he recovered, he 
 narrated how Rama had appeared unto him in a 
 vision, and assured him that every one of the 
 Brahmins there present was destined to become a 
 number-one god in the next generation, and to keep 
 on rising for nine hundred and ninety-four million 
 Kalpacs, and then attain Nirvana ; also that the 
 whole party, including himself, while here on earth, 
 would be deemed incapable of committing any sin 
 or crime. He had indeed received, as a first instal 
 ment of plenary indulgence, a special dispensation 
 and injunction to drink arak toddy in honour of 
 Rama, to be supplied to him by the Sacred College. 
 Whereupon he was invested with the yellow thread, 
 and declared to be a saint. 
 
 It was midnight, and Flaxius and Dschim Crow 
 sat on either side of a pearl-inlaid table, on seats 
 set with gems, and between them was the Holy 
 Bottle with gold cups. 
 
 Well / observed Flaxius, of all the in-fer-nal, 
 lying, cold-frozen, brazen, impudent, cheeky hum 
 bugs whom I ever encountered on earth, thou, my 
 son, dost take the cake! But yesterday a Pariah, 
 and to-day directing all the Brahmins as their 
 chief! 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 193 
 
 Que veux-tU) mon vieux? replied the Holy Crow, 
 who in his new capacity of divine of course divined 
 all the languages of the future : 
 
 Surely tis not by modesty 
 That gods attain to what they be : 
 For face, and cheek, since time began, 
 Were aye the noblest part of man, 
 And he who hath but impudence 
 To all things hath sublime pretence. 
 
 For the very essence of the most orthodox 
 religion is that man is to be saved by faith alone, 
 good works being only manifestations of faith; and 
 of all faith ever roasted or toasted, stewed or brewed 
 in the kitchen of theology, there is none like a holy 
 faith in one s own self, pious auto-reliance, devout 
 assurance, divine audacity, and sanctified looking- 
 down on everybody, which latter is the true secret 
 of all ecclesiastical supremacy and influence, as we 
 saints well know. 
 
 And note you, that this full faith and belief in 
 oneself is neither egoism nor egotism, but only 
 religion directed inward, devotion which has gone 
 to the heart instead of striking outward into 
 Pharisaical displays of modesty, wherewith the 
 world is more deluded and gulled than by all the 
 good honest boldness ever obtruded on it. For he 
 who believes in his lucky star brings to the battle 
 of life nine-tenths of victory. Therefore, O illus 
 trious patron, I pray you believe that this which 
 you call Cheek in me is indeed no vanity or idle 
 desire to be admired by the world, for which I 
 verily do not care three straws, esteeming its praise 
 or blame as all stuff and taradiddle: 
 
 Trumpery, trash, rubbish and hum, 
 Fatras, frippery, bubble and scum, 
 
 N 
 
194 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 Leather-prunella, drugs and chaff, 
 Refuse, sweepings, sediment, raff, 
 Trifling, paltry, petty or small ; 
 Frivolous stuff worth nothing at all, 
 Hardly anything, no great shakes ; 
 Peu de chose and as farthing stakes, 
 Gimcracks, whim-whams, gammon and sells, 
 Fiddlestick, fudge and bagatelles, 
 Paltry, pitiful two-penny flams, 
 Fribbling, beggarly, pitiful crams ; 
 Not worth mentioning, nor a rush, 
 Stuff and nonsense, humbug and tush ! 
 
 1 For verily at that, and nothing more, do I esteem 
 vanity and the notice of the world or personal 
 notoriety, or puffs, while, to my taste, all applause, 
 homage, hero-worship, clapping, hosannahs, glorifica 
 tion and acclamation, raw or cooked, save so far that 
 there is Fun in it all, may go to the devil and shake 
 itself! But he who is what you may call self- 
 superstitious, or guided in all things, as he thinks, by 
 a dcemon or star, or fairy, or fate, or strange omens, 
 by occult desires, and coincidences, always becomes 
 strangely self-confident, and yet not vain or egoistic, 
 because he feels as if he were a wheelbarrow 
 trundled by his god 
 
 Or a top spun by a boy, 
 Or clay in the potter s hands, 
 Or dough being kneaded, 
 Or a horse in harness, 
 Or paper under the pen, 
 Or a maid taken by force, 
 Or potatoes being mashed, 
 Or type being set, 
 Or a garment being shaped, 
 Or a rocket set fire to, 
 Or a fiddle being played, 
 Or an arrow shot from a bow, 
 Or a cake being mixed, 
 Or a twine in cat s-cradle, 
 Or a sermon being preached, 
 Or a puppet being played, 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 195 
 
 Or a pig driven to market, 
 Or a football in a game, 
 Or a top being spun, 
 Or a boat being steered, 
 
 or anything or anybody under external direction. 
 Now the egoist believes himself to be, and the vain 
 man is sure that he is, the actor and the thing 
 acted on, all in one, but the blind believer in self is 
 only confident that he is well-directed. Eccomi / 
 
 A subtle distinction/ said Flaxius, and not 
 without truth. 
 
 Moreover, and this should be noted/ resumed 
 the Holy Crow, he who is by God s grace even a 
 little of a Humourist is above all men most likely to 
 be misunderstood in this matter. For verily, I 
 swear by this Holy Bottle, that when 7 took no 
 notice of the Guru, for which Shiva wished to send 
 me to hell, twas not from vanity of great wisdom, 
 (as those lying old devils the Brahmins declared), 
 but just to see what sort of a rum face he would 
 cut ; and when I disputed with the son of Brahma 
 as to the divine attributes of his father, I hope I 
 may be split, salted and dried in hell like a fish, if 
 it was that I pretended to know more about the 
 Governor than he did, devil a bit ! Nay, it was 
 only that the fiend of Fun inspired me to a stupen 
 dous, palpable absurdity, which, rightly understood, 
 was an act of the deepest reverence. But the Rishi 
 was a fool, even as the Brahmins and old Vish him 
 self were also, and Shiv into the bargain. 
 
 I believe thee, O Crow/ replied Flaxius, and 
 it is true that the dull world often attributes to self- 
 conceit that which is truly an artistic or humorously 
 inspired conception. Many a creator and artist 
 
196 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 have I seen carried away by pride or faith in his 
 inspiration, who had, God wot ! little pride in 
 himself. But, O Dschim Crow, he had, as thou ever 
 hast, the sublime enjoyment of the joke, or idea, 
 albeit gods and men missed the point ! 
 
 Amen, quoth the Crow. Let us drink ! 
 
 1 And now/ quoth Flaxius, that the sun shines, 
 thou wilt, I suppose, begin to make hay, or lay up 
 money for the rainy days. 
 
 By the Wheel of Heaven, not I ! exclaimed the 
 Crow. He that saves up money keeps it from circu 
 lating, which is a great crime, yea, a robbery of the 
 widow and the orphan. Albeit, should such a chance 
 occur of saving up money at another man s expense, 
 as once befell me, I will not say that I will utterly 
 reject it. One ought to have cash in hand for holy 
 charities and small treats. 
 
 I pray thee, tell me the tale, answered Flaxius. 
 
 That will I, exclaimed the Crow, after a drink. 
 1 Once upon a time, when Bramadatta was reigning 
 in Benares in Kasi, it befell that I was born, and 
 when I grew up I had a small place under the 
 treasurer, Bunder Shroff Kash. 
 
 One day I bewailed that I was poor, and the 
 treasurer, overhearing me, told it to the king at his 
 elbow ; and the king, calling me, said : 
 
 " Excellent young man, it is very easy to get rich. 
 Remember that a penny saved is a penny earned. 
 Now to encourage, I will give thee an order on the 
 treasury, commanding that when thou shalt have 
 saved a penny it shall be doubled." 
 
 " May your glory endure for ever, O Life of the 
 World ! " I replied ; " but while you are about it, 
 make it pence 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 197 
 
 He did so, and the order was written. But the 
 king forgot to limit the payment ! He thought I 
 would only draw once, or a penny at a time, but I 
 knew a trick worth two of that. I went with my 
 penny and drew another. 
 
 The next day I came and said, " I have saved 
 twopence, pray pay the equivalent." The next day 
 I brought fourpence, and the next eight ; and so it 
 went on, till ere long the treasurer begged for credit. 
 Now I paid the treasurer a handsome percentage 
 to keep quiet and he quieted. But at last the 
 thing got beyond all bounds, and the treasurer one 
 day informed the king that he was bankrupt, and 
 owed more than the whole kingdom was worth, and 
 all the world with it. For the sum due me was : 
 Lakhs of Rupees 972,687,265,390,221. 
 
 Then the king got into a fine rage, and would 
 fain have had me put to death. But the treasurer 
 said, " Your majesty, it would be better to com 
 promise with such a brilliant financier, and employ 
 him to collect the taxes" ; which was done. 
 
 When this lesson was ended, the Supreme 
 Deity, the All-Knowing One himself, repeated this 
 stanza : 
 
 * " With humblest start on a trifling capital 
 A shrewd and able man will rise to wealth, 
 E en as his breath can nurse a tiny flame." 
 
 * And there are many tables and fables in which 
 something like this is to be found, or will be, as, for 
 instance, The Jdtakas from the Pali, edited by Pro 
 fessor E. B. Cowell, who will in a future age be 
 known as a great, good, wise, illustrious, and learned 
 Sanskritist, and in the Parables of Buddhagosha and 
 Dhammapady (or the Accused Irishman), and the 
 
IQ8 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 Divydvadana, and the Kathd Sdrit Sdgara. But 
 mine, note ye, is the Original Jacobs, and the first 
 true prototype, model, pattern, precedent, protoplast, 
 mould, ensample, matrix, and paradigm of them all. 
 All the rest of them being mere re-echoes, shadows, 
 reflexes, apographs, and adumbrations of mine. 
 Selahr 
 
 1 And how long dost thou expect to remain here 
 in clover, O Incarnation of Bhusanda, and favourite 
 of Rama? inquired Flaxius. 
 
 * I hope to run the machine of the Sacred College, 5 
 replied the Crow, critically eyeing his liquor, * till a 
 spring breaks, or a screw comes loose or, what is 
 quite as likely, till I find the affair is slow and the 
 fun giving out when I will start as a yoghi on a 
 pilgrimage, or a Banjari or Nat -jeckno covva miri 
 hai 
 
 * Tis all one to me, 
 
 Where on earth I be ; 
 So I only pass the time in jollity, 
 
 Where the girls abound, 
 
 And good drink is found, 
 And a changing round of life I ever see. 
 
 With a tol-diddle, 
 And a rol-diddle, 
 And a tol-de-rol-de-rol-de diddle dee ! 
 
 Ail-so, camarado, buona sera ! Meet me again in 
 life when life seems dull ! 
 
 1 Haec fabula docetl wrote Flaxius, * that in this 
 life we should not be too much guided by appear 
 ances. For, firstly, the Tale of Sakhara and Arjun 
 as it occurs in the Asiatic Journal of 1829, whence 
 it was transferred by Grimm to his work on Women s 
 Names derived from Plants, might seem to many to 
 
FLAXIUS IN INDIA 199 
 
 have been the original source, whereas it is only a 
 mutilated and abridged version, as appears from the 
 fact that I, who had so much to do with the plot, 
 am not mentioned in it, nor does Dschim Crow once 
 occur in the story. Neither are there in it those 
 beautiful specimens of Indian poetry in the original 
 Romany, or Romanyana, dialect (allied to Sanskrit) 
 which prove the fidelity of my text. 
 
 Secondly, that the king did not surmise that there 
 was any " working of the oracle," as regarded the 
 shooting of the three arrows, or that the will of the 
 gods is sometimes managed even by such characters 
 as the Crow. For it was the Crow, indeed, who 
 pulled all the wires, wrote the lady s letter, and told 
 all the needful lies on this occasion. 
 
 Thirdly, that it came not to the surface, neither 
 did it appear to man, that Dschim Crow, who was an 
 expert penman, added that little postscript to the 
 old manuscript. 
 
 Fourthly, that it is most probable that the vast 
 majority of my readers will fondly believe that I 
 am the author of the old MS. History of Bhusanda, 
 whereas it is really given in the Ramayana, and 
 extracted therefrom by Nork in his Symbolisches- 
 mythologisches Real- Worterbuch, vol. i. p. 259. 
 
 * Fifthly, that Brahma, Siva, Vishnu and Co., in 
 cluding all the saints, were utterly mistaken in the 
 true character of the Crow [even as a reviewer some 
 times is at the present day when he adventures into 
 literature]. Now, this showing how the Hindoo 
 Trinity made a fool of itself firstly, by putting 
 Pantagruelism into a Crow, and then expecting to 
 ever get it out, is, I am sure, one of those subtle 
 sarcasms of the Pariah literature, which worked its 
 
200 FLAXIUS IN INDIA 
 
 way into the regular Scriptures, somewhat in the 
 same way as the erotic, or erratic, melodrama of the 
 Song of Solomon was insinuated (probably by some 
 Hebrew joker) into the Old Testament. 
 
 * Sixthly, that as there are substances, which to the 
 vulgar sense seem to be one and the same, yet which 
 chemistry shows are radically different elements, so 
 there are natures like that of the Crow, which do 
 not care twopence for applause, or what the world 
 thinks of them, and yet are called egoistic when their 
 inspiration consists in yielding to influences which, 
 had they guided them, might indeed have caused 
 them to be called vain. 
 
 * Seventhly, that the Crow, being incorrigible and 
 incurable, will continue to manifest himself as a poor 
 devil, and be considered as " a comic fella, doncher 
 know," and as nothing but a swell jester until gods 
 and saints get more sense. 
 
THE WONDERFUL STORY OF MISS 
 JESABELLE ROCKHARD 
 
 WITH A SERIOUS VINDICATION OF HER 
 PROTOTYPES 
 
 OR FLAXIUS IN ENGLAND 
 
 * And thus outspoke ye Oracle : 
 A very truth to thee I tell : 
 If thou canst a woman finde, 
 With such an earth-subduing minde 
 And with soule so stern and deepe, 
 That she can a secret keepe. 
 Then know of verie truth that she 
 A great Enchauntresse soon will be, 
 A queen in soothe or faery. 
 
 IT was five o clock tea at Lady Puddlebrooke s a 
 somewhat famous weekly rendezvous, which many 
 called The Meet/ because there assembled on the 
 occasion so many gallant hunters of gossip, and 
 harriers of character, who were soon let slip in full 
 cry of the chronique scandaleuse of the day. The 
 which chronicle, be it remarked, by the way, is by far 
 the most wonderful flying leaf, as such journals were 
 once called, which was ever compiled, since every 
 soul implicitly believes that there is in it the name 
 of Everybody else, and that all which is said of others 
 in it is true, while their own names are never there 
 or, if there, invariably attached to falsehoods, and 
 out of place. 
 
 201 
 
202 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 Now, while all the good Christians, philan 
 thropists, nobly honest agnostics, angelic virgins 
 who had been presented, dignified and ferocious 
 matrons, clergymen, positivists, and other seekers 
 after truth, were as a nasty, cynical journalist who 
 was present, remarked ravening and battening on 
 their garbage/ which meant repeating what they had 
 read in the society papers, or preparing what would 
 soon appear in them, Flaxius had withdrawn to 
 a quiet corner and an easy sofa, where he was joined 
 by Miss Jesabelle Rockhard, a lady of whom all 
 her friends said : It certainly cannot be denied that 
 she is good-looking ; others limiting this praise to 
 distingueel while some reduced it to striking/ 
 which she certainly was, being a hard hitter in con 
 versation, and not above fibbing when it came to a 
 scratch. That she was highly intelligent and an 
 esprit fort, gifted with the unscrupulousness which 
 she herself graced with the name of Will, was mani 
 fested at a glance, and impressively set forth by the 
 first utterance of her voice to any reader of the human 
 heart. 
 
 She was between afternoon and twilight as 
 regarded age, and of very limited means ; facts 
 which she stated with the utmost candour to every 
 body. Nor was she devoid of a certain intuition or 
 clairvoyance as regarded ability in others, as she 
 had creditably shown by divining that Flaxius was 
 a character. She determined that she would draw 
 him out to the last hair, and completely ascertain all 
 there was in him. In forming this resolution she 
 had, as the Americans express it, unconsciously, 
 taken out a mighty big contract/ which was the 
 further impeded by the fact that the party of the 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 203 
 
 other part knew exactly how much stock she held, 
 and what was her capital, while she poor little soul 
 knew nothing at all as to the resources of the 
 adversary. 
 
 But she came up to the assault gallantly. There 
 was something in her very smile with its pinch 
 in the lips, and in the ring of her keen voice, 
 which seemed to say : I m arch and airy, with 
 the gay, sarcastic tone of society ; you must 
 accept all my stings with a delighted air and 
 you 11 be in bad form if you don t. Beware ! 
 beware ! 
 
 Ah, Mr. Flaxius, just as one would expect 
 withdrawn from the gossiping, frivolous crowd. You 
 set up to be intellectual, I believe. 
 
 There are certain very common and very silly 
 speeches of this kind current, which tease sensible 
 people, because they are hard to answer. So true is 
 it that a fool can roll a stone into a well which fifty 
 wise men cannot get out. But Flaxius replied with 
 divine suavity : 
 
 If being out of the swim is a sign of setting up to 
 be intellectual, then, I suppose, as you are here, that 
 you also advance the same claim, and would fain 
 remind me of it. Here the smile was beautifully 
 genial, as if to say : * Tis all my fun. 
 
 Confound his cheeky impudence ! thought Miss 
 Jesabelle. And she promptly countered. 
 
 So you do set up to be intellectual, then ? Oh, 
 you needn t deny it you Ve admitted it. 
 
 True, exclaimed Flaxius, and I have heard from 
 other people the same of you. And yet I am not 
 sure, he added, in so dreamy, meditative a manner, 
 that he seemed to be thinking of anything except 
 
204 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 Miss Rockhard, * that tis not better to be able 
 to set oneself up independently though ever so 
 little than to have to rely on others to do it 
 for us ! 
 
 And looking at Miss Jesabelle with a smile that 
 was child-like and bland, he added : 
 
 * Ask me some more of those hard questions, 
 please ! 
 
 I really believe, answered the lady with some 
 acerbity ( Aha ! thought Flaxius, the first blood 
 drawn ! ) that you must have belonged to the Dis 
 agreeable Club, whose members make a practice of 
 irritating and retorting, like cabmen. 
 
 Ah! 1 exclaimed Flaxius, if I had not, I should 
 have been indeed ill-qualified for conversation with 
 an advanced young lady of the fin de siecle. How 
 often she reminds me of a Spanish fairy-tale. May 
 I tell it ? he asked, like a little boy. 
 
 Oh, certainly, if it amuses you, replied the young 
 lady in a tone half-contemptuously vexed, yet half 
 interested in this extraordinary stranger. 
 
 Once upon a time/ said Flaxius, there were 
 three brothers, and the two elder were a pair of 
 awful blackguards. 
 
 Truly, it begins beautifully! remarked Miss 
 Rockhard scornfully. 
 
 Doesn t it? quoth Flaxius gleefully. And it s 
 nothing to what s a-coming. Well, there was a 
 king of the country, and he had a beautiful daughter 
 at least she was distinguee, or what you might call 
 stunning^ for she was awful at being disagreeable, 
 and could shut up any man in chaff, or worse not 
 to draw it too fine. And if anybody dared to answer 
 her oh, then she became angry ! 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 205 
 
 Now the king, finding that his daughter kept his 
 court all the time in an uproar, issued a proclama 
 tion, saying that whoever could beat the princess 
 in abuse should have her to wife, and welcome. 
 Then the two elder brothers rejoiced, each being 
 sure that he would win the prize. But the younger, 
 who was a sort of Saint Johnny, with no great gift 
 of the gab, went and sat sorrowfully in the woods, 
 weeping to think he had no chance to win the 
 princess, and wishing he had passed his boyhood in 
 playing chuck-farthing, and hanging about the docks 
 with other little guttersnipes, and had not wasted it 
 in going to school and church and penny-readings. 
 
 And while he sat there weeping, and eating a 
 great slice of water-melon, mingling his tears with 
 the seeds, there came by an Irish fairy of his 
 acquaintance. 
 
 " An what is it yees wape-in an bodderin about, 
 a/anna?" she asked kindly. 
 
 Then the youth told her his trouble, and how he 
 would like to win the princess, but wanted that copia 
 verborum, or elegant " fluency of sass," as it is called 
 in America, which was necessary to secure it. 
 
 "Och, monoma diaoul ! and tear and agers ! " 
 exclaimed the fairy, " sure, if it s nothin but blay- 
 gairdin is naded, it s mesilf that ll tache ye how to 
 bate thim all intoirely. Pattherin an cantin is it ! 
 and me here that blissed the great Daniel O Connell 
 in his cradle, an gave him the illigant spache that 
 shut up all the sass in Parliamint. 
 
 4 " Great O Connell, the Libherather, 
 An salvathor of Oireland s oisle ! 
 
 * " Whoop ! Fa-na-ballah, and Erin-go-braugh ! " 
 cried the fairy as she danced in a ring, brandishing 
 
206 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 her broom. " And now, ye divil, sit down till I give 
 yees a lisson in polite litherature." 
 
 I forbear for certain reasons to give you the con 
 versation which occurred between the princess and 
 the two brothers, in which they were utterly silenced. 
 Then, turning to the youngest, she exclaimed scorn 
 fully : 
 
 * " And I suppose you, with your white egg-fruit 
 face of an idiotic scallawag, set up for being intel 
 lectual intellectual enough to smash me that is, if 
 you know what the word means, you Number Three 
 Mackerel with the head gone !" 
 
 "It is just likeyourante-penultimatesuperfluitancy 
 to mundivagate anent my candicancy/ replied the 
 youth indignantly. * Thou tramontarian tomboy - 
 trollope and trull-cat, thou quadruplicate quean, 
 mopsy minx, and metaphrastic harridame rein 
 tegrated in thy deligration even to conquassentiality 
 thou mere projectile of an eolipile nay, I go so 
 far as to call thee a true ultimatum of the fourth 
 effusion dug up by a divarication of conduplicated 
 metatarsity thou art all this as thy conscience 
 deterrates . . . yea and thou art moreover addicted 
 to lipothymy and all such enormities and vices ! " 
 
 Thereupon the princess gave it to him back, with 
 all that there is in Grose s Slang Dictionary, and 
 Romany to boot which was pretty bad ; but when 
 he retorted with a passage from Browning s Sordello, 
 she gave it up, and fell into a fit of rage, foaming at 
 the mouth. And having recovered, she married him, 
 and they lived like the devil ever after. 
 
 Now Flaxius had the gift of voice, and with it that 
 of the story-teller, to the degree of well-nigh trans 
 cending language itself; for one could read the full 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 207 
 
 meaning of every word in his intonation, and eyes 
 and gestures ; these latter were never extravagant, 
 but strangely significant, as they well might be, since 
 he knew as only the priests of old knew the wonder 
 ful Sign Language which men have found of late 
 years on every Etruscan vase much of which is 
 still found even among the peasant-children of Italy. 
 And as a small group of guests had gathered round 
 to hear the legend, there were roars of final laughter, 
 in which Miss Jesabelle herself joined with a good 
 will, for she had begun to realise that there was a 
 lion in this man, and as the story had been told for 
 her, she shrewdly made the very best of it. 
 
 You tell a fairy-tale so well, she said to Flaxius, 
 when they were again together, and no one near, as 
 to make one regret that there are no more fairies or 
 magic, or rather that such fancies never were. 
 
 And if there were, replied the sage, you and the 
 world would still necessarily remain in ignorance of 
 them. 
 
 Permit me, replied Miss Rockhard, to differ with 
 you. I presume^ she added, with a slightly sarcastic 
 expression, that I am quite as likely as you are to 
 be acquainted, or possibly familiar, with all that has 
 been investigated by science the London Library 
 and British Museum being open to all and I can 
 assure you that despite Madame Blavatsky and 
 Mr. Sinnett and Colonel Olcott very nice men 
 they are not the slightest scientific proof of the 
 existence of fairies or magic has ever been detected. 
 1 Very true, rejoined Flaxius imperturbably. I 
 did not say that they existed. I only assert that, 
 from the very nature of things, if they do, they must 
 be concealed from man as he now is. The more 
 
208 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 indubitable proof of such occult matters would 
 bring about a premature confusion in humanity 
 which would have disastrous results. 
 
 / presume not, in certain minds at least, said 
 Miss Rockhard, with an expression which denoted 
 that she considered herself to be one of this favoured 
 few. How can you explain however, she added, 
 that few, if any, know the mysteries ? 
 
 Simply because there are so few people living 
 who can keep a secret or hold their tongues. The 
 one great or tremendous task of the ancient priest 
 hoods, as of the modern Jesuits, was not to get great 
 ideas, but to train men to keep quiet, and not to 
 tell tales out of school. 
 
 * There again you are quite wrong, remarked the 
 lady. If mere firm reticence would attract revela 
 tion, /, certainly, would be among the favoured. On 
 that subject you need not speak further, for it simply 
 does not admit discussion. I have kept, she added, 
 in my time a secret of vast importance, on which 
 the fate of a great family depended, for many 
 months, till it all blew over. 
 
 And then, reflected Flaxius, came the great 
 blow-up in consequence of her blowing, or letting 
 it out. I remember it all. Truly she deserves a 
 lesson for all this. Do you know, he added 
 amiably, I think, Miss Rockhard, that this matter 
 may possibly be tested. There is an ugly little 
 old story about certain nuns who wanted a Pope 
 to make female confessors, and he promised to do 
 so if they would keep a box unopened for a day. 
 They all swore on their salvation to do so ; 
 but the Pope was hardly out of the convent 
 before they all ran to the box and lifted the lid, 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 209 
 
 when out flew a bird, which vanished through the 
 window. 
 
 If you think that a silly and slanderous old tale, 
 which is only disgraceful to one who tells it, is an 
 argument , said the lady, I have no more to say. 
 
 But I have this to suggest, replied Flaxius. I 
 have heard for I do not assert it that there is even 
 now in London a person who is endowed with such 
 strangely supernatural gifts that she may be ranked 
 with the witches or fairies. 
 
 At a guinea a visit, I presume, remarked Miss 
 Rockhard with her sarcastic smile more fully 
 developed than ever. * Merci, my means do not 
 permit of such expensive researches into occult 
 philosophy. 
 
 Ah, that is the most remarkable part of it all, 
 replied Flaxius. She takes nothing; nay, she 
 invariably makes very valuable gifts ; but on the 
 strictest conditions of secrecy and she is to the 
 last degree exacting in this respect as also that 
 those whom she favours shall be gifted with superior 
 intellects not led by mere curiosity. 
 
 And you expect me to believe this ? 
 
 ( Certainly not. I never said a word as to belief. 
 I only say that / believe you will incur no kind of 
 risk or cost if you seek her. 
 
 And you will obtain access for me to your 
 witch ? 
 
 * She is not my witch, and I have no desire what 
 ever to send you to her. I only say that if you 
 will promise on your honour to observe sacred 
 secrecy even as to knowing of her existence, I will 
 give you her address. 
 
 Very well, I swear ! 
 
 O 
 
210 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 She lives in Devonshire Street, near Regent s 
 Park. There is her card. But I give you every 
 warning. What you seek will require great truth, 
 secrecy, and self-command. And remember here 
 the face of Flaxius assumed an expression which 
 Miss Rockhard had not seen before, and under which 
 she for an instant quailed, it was so marvellously 
 strange and dignified, as if he had forgotten him 
 self into grandeur remember that if you suc 
 ceed, I shall expect no thanks, and if you fail, 
 yours alone is the responsibility. 
 
 Oh, I accept it/ replied Miss Rockhard, recover 
 ing her flippancy. * Thanks awfully. I accept the 
 entire responsibility. What fun ! 
 
 And so with all her grace and vanity she swept 
 away. 
 
 At four o clock on the following afternoon or 
 morning, as it is called by those who probably 
 look for midnight at fourteen o clock Miss Rock- 
 hard found herself in Devonshire Street, seeking the 
 dwelling of the witch-fairy. And it was very 
 naturally with an intensely sarcastic smile that she 
 finally discovered on a door a small silver plate 
 bearing the words : 
 
 MISS ALBAN, 
 
 DRESSMAKER. 
 
 I might have expected it would be some humbug 
 of the kind ! thought the fair Jesabelle. I wonder 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 211 
 
 whether the fairy drops her h s. But let us enter 
 all the same into this Egyptian Hall and take a 
 miracle or two. 
 
 She rang, and was admitted by a very pretty 
 maid to a hall which was somewhat singularly, but 
 most artistically, decorated with antique objects, the 
 real meaning of which was, however, hardly apparent ; 
 and was then conducted up a broad old staircase to 
 a large salon, in which the visitor detected a most 
 extraordinary and original taste, as regards fur 
 niture, without the least obtrusive sign of expendi 
 ture or cost There was not a thing in the room 
 which looked as if it had been the gem of a 
 bric-a-brac shop, or worthy a place in the great 
 Rothschild pawnbroker collection of Frankfort, or 
 bought at a Demiduffer sale, and many of the 
 antiques would not have been valued at twopence 
 by the Jew ; but even Miss Rockhard, albeit her 
 archaeology was of the slenderest, save on Chippen 
 dale, lace, Japaneseries, Chineseries, crockeries, glass, 
 Sevres, and rococery in general, or trash in par 
 ticular, could not help admitting that there was a 
 hidden depth of knowledge and artistic taste in 
 what she saw, which had nothing in common with 
 bargains, fashion or the shop. 
 
 Suddenly looking up, Miss Rockhard saw before 
 her a lady who, though beautiful, was not to be 
 lightly described as a beauty/ considering the usual 
 vulgar associations with the word. There was a 
 depth of expression and moral truth, allied to 
 strength of character, in her face which would have 
 shamed into oblivion the charm of a Helen, who 
 was (according to Flaxius) only a professional 
 beauty of the popular kind after all. And such, 
 
212 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 adds Flaxius, I have invariably found all fashion 
 able belles of the season (" whom every one is 
 talking about ") to be/ 
 
 I am Miss Alban/ said the lady to the visitor, 
 and I shall be pleased to aid you in the object of 
 your call. You desire indubitable proof of the 
 existence of supernatural or magical influences or 
 beings, and I can supply it. 
 
 * You are, ahem ! I believe, a dressmaker, said 
 Miss Rockhard, with considerable sarcasm. For 
 she felt with every word and glance that Miss Alban 
 was immeasurably her superior in exactly that in 
 which she would have liked to be great herself: or 
 in calm self-possession, penetration, and the terrible 
 art of influencing others, and being invulnerable. 
 Therefore it was with something like suppressed 
 exasperation, wrapped up in a smile, that she ex 
 claimed : * A dressmaker ! 
 
 I appear to every one, replied Miss Alban, 
 looking the other clearly in the eyes, as the ideal 
 ministrant of what they most desire in life. What 
 you prize above everything is simply to appear well 
 before everybody, be it in good looks or clothes as 
 regards the body, and accomplishments and setting 
 people down and "besting" them as regards the 
 mind, which all amounts to mere show or dress, and 
 therefore I appear to you as a modiste 
 
 1 1 confess, declared Miss Rockhard, who had 
 always, with all her failings, a substratum of frank 
 courage as regarded her poverty and unavoidable 
 defects, being therein no snob, that as I have only 
 one decent evening-dress in the world, and am 
 getting to the end of my twenties, or to a time 
 when dress becomes more needful, and as I live for 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 213 
 
 society, I do regard externals with love and envy. 
 But as for the proof of enchantment 
 
 I promise/ replied Miss Alban, to fully and 
 perfectly convince and satisfy you before you leave 
 this room, that there is such a thing as magic, by 
 which I mean simply to show you something ab 
 solutely inexplicable by your knowledge of science. 
 
 * I ask no more than that as regards your sorcery/ 
 said Miss Rockhard with a complacent smile. 
 
 While as to dress, I promise that you shall be 
 at no expense, and for life, the best dressed woman 
 in London, or even in New York or Paris. But on 
 one condition. 
 
 I know absolute secrecy. That for me is a 
 mere trifle. 
 
 It is no " mere trifle," as you will find, but, especi 
 ally for you, a terribly difficult and onerous task. 
 For know that the secrecy must be without speck 
 or flaw. You are not to say that you have heard of 
 fairy dressmakers or jest with people who ask you 
 whence you had your garments, in such a way as 
 to cause surmises as to the truth ; and if you fail 
 you must not say, " / thought this or that," as people 
 of weak minds always do. There is to be no allow 
 ance for thought, or prevarication, or independence, 
 or misfortune or excuses. If you can persevere in 
 merely keeping a secret to your own advantage, I 
 promise you that dress shall not be the limit of my 
 favours, and you shall lead a long and happy and 
 highly-honoured life. But if you fail, that is, if by 
 the least inadvertency, or even accident, you betray 
 the secret, you will incur a terrible disgrace, and a 
 suffering and humiliated life. Consider well, and do 
 not let your vanity lead you to ruin. 
 
214 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 * I think, said Miss Rockhard, with the same old 
 contemptuous smile, that we may proceed to the 
 proof. As I happen to know my own mind a little 
 better than you probably do, I am better aware of 
 my capacity for secrecy. I accept your conditions. 
 
 The proof is very easy, replied Miss Alban, 
 taking from a drawer in a cabinet what seemed to 
 be a large walnut. c Did you ever hear of the 
 famous wardrobe walnuts of the witch tree of 
 Benevento ? Legend says that a prince once filled 
 a palace with the splendid garments in cloth of 
 gold, ermine, velvet and pearls, which he drew from 
 this one nut. 1 Now, are you ready? 
 
 * Certainly, replied the visitor. 
 
 And should I perform this miracle, you will, 
 unconditionally once and for all accept it on your 
 honour as a proof of magic power? If not, we will 
 try something else. 
 
 No, answered Jesabelle, who was thinking more 
 of being beautifully attired than of all the miracles 
 or oaths ever heard of. The dress will be proof 
 enough in all conscience. 
 
 As she spoke, her outer garment fell off, and she 
 stepped out of it, while Miss Alban, opening the 
 walnut, drew from it what seemed at first to be a 
 mere cobweb, which she shook and shook out into 
 greater fulness, till she placed it on Miss Jesabelle 
 who, to do her justice, had really a fine little figure, 
 just made to be very well dressed, with the one 
 drawback of large feet and hands. 
 
 * Now tell me, said the dressmaker, what colour 
 or material or style would you prefer? 
 
 1 Vide Etruscan-Roman Remains, by Charles Godfrey Leland : 
 London, Fisher Unwin. 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 215 
 
 Nothing extravagant as regards expense/ re 
 plied Miss Rockhard, no cloth of gold or pearl- 
 embroideries or anything to make people wonder 
 where the money came from, when all the world 
 knows how poor I am. Grey silk will do ; but as 
 elegant, original, and beautiful in fit and fold as a 
 robe can be. 
 
 Cest fait} said Miss Alban. Rise and look into 
 yonder glass ! 
 
 Then Miss Rockhard looked and could hardly 
 believe her own eyes, such a vision of beauty was 
 before her. For, as has been already intimated, she 
 was really very good-looking/ with a fine figure, 
 both being of the kind which are incredibly improved 
 by tasteful dress, so that she came out (like fireworks) 
 in a grand ball, or at a fete, when fortune favoured 
 her. 
 
 But never before, under the most benign influence 
 of a grand cheque from her benevolent aunt, had 
 she bloomed out like this. It was more than a fit, 
 more than modelling to the form, more than artistic 
 folds after any painting, for there was in the fluent 
 grace and easy elegance of that skirt and bust an 
 aesthetic apocalypse. Which is, pencils Flaxius, 
 a big word for a man, but not too much, under the 
 circumstances, for a woman. 
 
 Even the fairy smiled, being feminine, at the 
 success, and said : 
 
 There is still a trifle or two wanting. She took 
 from the drawer a wisp of straw, a coarse cord, or 
 circle of clothes-line, and a simply horrid brooch of 
 brass and glass, or of agate, which seemed, from afar 
 off, to have been bought in a common toy shop in 
 the Burlington Arcade, or under the cliff in Brightorb 
 
216 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 for threepence. She fastened the wisp of straw 
 round the wrist of Jesabelle, and lo ! it became a 
 massy bracelet of gold in old Etruscan style, which 
 would have maddened Castellani, and sent a whole 
 ball-room into convulsions of envy. The brooch 
 turned to a brilliant bouquet of diamonds, while the 
 rope, with eccentric, yet pretty, taste, remained 
 exactly as it was, but in pure gold, and, being tied 
 in a bow-knot with folding ends, formed a very 
 original and elegant head-dress. 
 
 The world hears a great deal about the tact of 
 women, but there is a great deal to be said on the 
 subject for and against. For while she believed she 
 had the keenest insight into everything, Miss Rock- 
 hard, like all of her class and kind, had no more tact 
 than an oyster, or a hedge-hog, when it behoved her 
 to suppress her needless pleonasms, sarcasms, and 
 little spasms of pure cussedness. And over and 
 above all this, petty scepticism had so worked into 
 all her being that as soon as she had got over the 
 first flush of admiration at her dress, the old devil 
 whispered in her ear not to show too much astonish 
 ment or gratitude, which means, he said, that 
 she has been too much for you. Therefore, with 
 exquisite good taste and characteristic refinement, 
 she said : 
 
 Well, it s an awfully clever bit of hanky- 
 panky, I must say. I wonder how on earth you 
 do it ! 
 
 The fairy looked at her gravely, and replied : 
 
 You said seriously, before I showed you this 
 marvel, that if I could effect it you would accept it 
 once and for all as a proof of my power, and your 
 first words are an utter denial of it. You are neither 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 217 
 
 spontaneously grateful at heart, nor graceful nor 
 polite in words. Society and petty persiflage and 
 small sneering and flippant sarcasm have killed in 
 you every noble quality. But I will give you another 
 proof which will defy doubt. Observe ! Though 
 your figure is good you have undeniably immense 
 hands, and your shoes, as you are aware, really 
 look like badly built gondolas. It is a great 
 pity and it cuts you to the very soul. Now, if I 
 reduce these extremities of yours to something 
 like smallness and harmony with the rest, will 
 you believe ? 
 
 What the reader may very well believe is that 
 this speech was as gall, worm-wood, coloquintida, 
 nux-vomica, rue, quassia, extract of aloes, acetic 
 acid, verjuice, vitriol, and strychnine to the palate 
 of Miss Rockhard, but the end thereof made her 
 forget all these amaritudes, and she gasped out : 
 
 1 Yes. 
 
 And I am to hear nothing more about " hanky- 
 panky," or " how it is done " ? 
 
 No. 
 
 ( Then be it done ! } The fairy bade her be seated 
 and took one of her hands in her own, and began 
 to sing a spell in a tongue which sounded softly 
 but strangely : 
 
 Tani-rani, sove a lay ! 
 Chovihani chivs apr ! 
 Tiri waster, tiri piri, 
 Boro dukkerin mi-deary ! 
 Me bitchava lende sa, 
 Tinkni-bitti, vel aja ! 
 
 Little lady, go to sleep ! 
 
 Witch lays spell upon thee deep ! 
 
218 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 On thy hands and on thy feet, 
 Let the charm be strong and fleet ! 
 So I order one and all 
 To become both neat and small ! 
 
 So Miss Rockhard did indeed go to sleep, and on 
 awaking found herself in her own home, lying on 
 the sofa in her own room. 
 
 She would have thought it all a dream, 
 Save that round her form 
 Was still the dress of the fairy queen, 
 Which fitted her " like a charm" ; 
 And her hands and feet were extremely neat, 
 And become intensely small ; 
 " Tis well, tis well," said Jesabelle, 
 " For now I shall beat them all." 
 
 It was not long before Miss Jesabelle Rockhard 
 found that the fairy was right in declaring that it 
 was not such an easy matter to keep a secret when 
 its results are brilliantly paraded before society. 
 Therefore the successful alchemists of the olden 
 time were said to live so plainly, and to go in dis 
 guise, dodging about the world, as did Thomas 
 Vaughan, to escape observation. And as even they 
 found it a fearful task, it may be supposed that Miss 
 Rockhard, who had a ten times harder secret to 
 keep than theirs, with not one-tenth part of their 
 sense or experience to keep it on, began to wonder 
 anon whether she had not spoken over-hastily when 
 she commended her own powers of discretion as a 
 subject not open to discussion. 
 
 The female sex, writes Flaxius in his great 
 Analysis, * differs from the male mostly in this, that 
 it never takes naturally or instinctively to rum or 
 tobacco, neither does it ever feel conscience or 
 remorse. Fear of discovery it does indeed ex 
 perience, and very sincere regret or sorrow at in- 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 219 
 
 curring punishment, but whether any one woman 
 since Eve ever regretted anything on principle, or 
 per se y is as yet among the unfound-outs. 
 
 Wherein I discover/ he observes, a great and 
 wise provision of nature. For when we consider 
 what a vast quantity there is of confused conscience 
 and misplaced remorse in man, we cannot be too 
 thankful that woman is not afflicted with the same 
 calamity ; it being very evident that if she were, 
 humanity must needs take a fresh start on new 
 principles. Therefore do I opine, he adds, * that 
 " Things," as Germans call the evolution of humanity, 
 are going on best as they are, although I did have 
 a tin of spoiled caviare brought to me this morning 
 for breakfast. 
 
 As regards the dress and jewellery of Miss Rock- 
 hard, it was a complete or, as the French say, an 
 insane success. Her friends and the public admired 
 it with an envy which, as she often perceived, 
 amounted to agony ; and there were peeresses who 
 suffered the tortures of the damned, and with them 
 millionairesses who panted like harts for the water- 
 brook, with desire to learn the secret of those trans 
 cendental toilets ; which was all like nectar and 
 ambrosia to her small soul. And as she had the 
 thin good sense and cautious taste to rarely use 
 expensive fabrics, and was very chary with diamonds 
 and the like ; and being clever, soon acquired a 
 stock of evasive phrases and satirical retorts for the 
 most direct questions, she might have long escaped 
 detection. 
 
 The first error which she committed was the very 
 common one for all her kind, of ingratitude. For 
 as regarded Flaxius, the very fact of her success 
 
220 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 irritated her, when she reflected that he had entirely 
 established all his assertions, and completely got the 
 better of her after all her assumption of superior 
 intelligence and as she recalled him, every time she 
 donned a dress, with renewed vexation, the feeling 
 grew in time to tormenting hatred, there being no 
 vindictiveness like that for benefits received. Nor 
 was she any better disposed towards the fairy, since 
 every time she was teased by questioners she said 
 to herself: Pest take the creature! why couldn t 
 she just as well have given me the clothes without 
 any condition. Tis ever the way with these 
 mysterious snobs, they always do everything by 
 halves in a petty way, so as to render gratitude 
 impossible. I believe that vulgar teasing is a part 
 of their low nature. 
 
 Now when the moral obligation to keep a secret 
 is gone, and the buttresses are, so to speak, knocked 
 away, it generally requires but a little push to over 
 throw the whole building. And this push came ere 
 long from an unexpected quarter. 
 
 Miss Jesabelle Rockhard was born, and lived, in 
 undeniably good society, but had never had more 
 than very scanty sniffs of * the purer atmosphere of 
 Dukedom! As the melancholy Jacques, with refined 
 wit, remarks, even the word is a spell to call fools 
 together, albeit printers have spoiled his spelling. 
 Now it befell that a duchess of twenty-four carats, 
 a dame of irrepressible power, stronger at every 
 point than poor Miss Jesabelle, and one whose 
 flamberg or six-feet two-handed sword was not to be 
 lightly turned by the latter s fencing foil fenced she 
 never so wisely had set her whole soul on learning 
 the secret of the exquisite toilets. Hitherto Miss 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 221 
 
 Rockhard had only gentler breezes to resist, but now 
 there was a cyclone brewing, before which, had she 
 been wise, she would have fled unto the uttermost 
 parts of the earth. 
 
 The duchess soon learned indeed twas common 
 talk that the now famous Miss Rockhard guarded 
 with great care the secret of her dresses. She made 
 adroit, special, long-continued inquiry who would 
 not be detective for a duchess ? and the more she 
 was confirmed in the report, the more obstinately 
 was she determined to penetrate the mystery. 
 
 * O thou poor Jesabelle/ writes Flaxius, * whom 
 I did greatly love with all thy faults since devil a 
 one was there of them thine own all being drawn 
 from good society how gladly would I have averted 
 from thee the fate which I saw gathering over thy 
 graceful head ; how gladly would I have clucked 
 unto thee, as the cock clucketh unto the hen to come 
 to him when he has found a grain, albeit he often 
 swallows it ere she gets there ! or done anything in 
 reason, to paratonnerre away the crash and flash in 
 the dark gathering cloud it could not be ! All 
 that we could do was to await the explosion, pick up 
 the pieces, glue them together as well as possible 
 and so, en avant ! 
 
 It is written in the Babylonian chronicle of the 
 great Rabbi Ganef Ben Nofgur, that " even as a 
 monkey will, in doing mischief, manifest as much 
 mind as would make him the equal of man, so 
 a woman, to find out a secret which is none of her 
 business, will show the genius of seven devils. For 
 ten measures of intermeddling were sent down by 
 Aschmodai upon earth, and the daughters of Israel 
 got nine of them." 
 
222 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 From which ye may understand that the duchess, 
 finding that the treasure was deeply buried, and 
 craftily enchanted, took great precaution and pains 
 to disinter it. Firstly, she was merely affable to Miss 
 Rockhard in the winsome way which shows that any 
 one has taken a special, an unconscious liking which 
 is a particular form of humbug treated more fully 
 by Patrick Mac lavel in his Treatise on the Art of 
 Blarneying. She set on to Jesabelle an artless niece 
 who Jesabelle thought was a fool, and who ended 
 by fooling her Miss Rockhard completely. Then 
 the duchess began a series of fondlings, pettings, 
 little intimacies, and careful confidences, invitations 
 to dinner and the opera sending her carriage freely 
 for her on all occasions. In a word, she wound 
 round the victim such an insidious mesh of obliga 
 tions that at last she judged that the roast was 
 done to a turn, and ready to be served, carved and 
 eaten. 
 
 So one night at a reception at the ducal palace, 
 to which Jesabelle had come in consequence of most 
 ingenious and urgent desire in the utmost magnifi 
 cence which she dared her jewellery on this 
 occasion being rather seriously splendid and danger 
 ous the hostess struck her coup by displaying the 
 most passionate admiration of her guest s attire. 
 Then with great adroitness she led the conversation 
 to the fondness she had for Jesabelle, which subtly 
 trained towards the obligations and kindnesses, 
 which had by this time run up to an alarming sum. 
 And then, suddenly recurring to the dress, she 
 said : 
 
 If you are, indeed, as you say, deeply grateful 
 to me for anything, and are sincere as I am in 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 223 
 
 friendship, my dear, then acquit it all by a mere 
 trifle, and tell me truly, without any equivocation, 
 the secret of your marvellous dresses. . . . 
 
 Miss Rockhard would very much have preferred 
 seeing an insane anarchist flourishing a bomb, and 
 a carving-knife come dancing into her drawing- 
 room, to this simple question from her dearest friend. 
 And the agitation of her features showed it almost 
 fearfully. The duchess was delighted. Now for 
 an adroit coup! sne thought, and I have it. 
 
 1 I dare say, my dear, she added with sweet per 
 suasion, that there is really no great mystery in 
 it after all. You girls are so fond of making up 
 romances. Perhaps I can even aid you with it, if per 
 fect secrecy, experience, and love can aid. But it 
 will not be confiding a secret, you know, for we two 
 are one, and twill be as if you told it to yourself. 
 
 When one feels a secret like an intolerable burden, 
 or a pack of coals on one s back heavy as sin, and 
 burning as remorse the bearer catches at any 
 excuse for betraying it. Nor was Jesabelle a little 
 piqued by the artful hint : I dare say there is really 
 no great mystery in it after all. And, perhaps, the 
 duchess, with her vast knowledge of life and invin 
 cible prestige, could solve the mystery, so that no 
 harm or loss could come of it ; and driven to the 
 wall as she was, and at her wits end, for a rupture 
 with her Grace meant social ruin, she actually caught 
 at the last straw it will not be telling a secret, since 
 we are one * as if it had been a rope thrown by a 
 life-buoyant philanthropist. 
 
 You will not say, remarked the duchess, some 
 what sarcastically, that it is a fairy-gift. 
 
 At that word, Jesabelle in despair and anger 
 
224 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 exclaimed twas as if the very devil spoke for her 
 and used her tongue : 
 
 It is a fairy gift! 
 
 The duchess uttered an appalled scream ; there 
 was a chorus of Ha s ho s oh dear me s ! through 
 all the gamut heard from those around Tableau! 
 
 What is the matter? cried Jesabelle terrified. 
 
 Look in the glass / cried the duchess, pointing to 
 a twenty-foot mirror opposite. 
 
 Miss Rockhard looked, and saw an awful sight. 
 It was herself, arrayed in nothing but her under 
 garments, with a wisp of straw on her wrist, a piece 
 of clothes-line rope about her head, and on her 
 bosom a great threepenny brass and glass brooch. 
 And amid her surroundings this costume looked 
 ten times worse than it had done in Devonshire 
 Street. 
 
 A lunatic ! a mad woman ! Wonder how she 
 got in ! Hope she won t attack us ! Wonder if she s 
 got a pistol? We shall all be killed ! Run for the 
 police ! was heard on all sides. Miss Rockhard 
 fainted. Some mysterious friend she knew not 
 who stepped forward, wrapped her in a cloak, and 
 conveyed her in a carriage to her home. Yet 
 heavily as the blow fell on her, it struck the duchess 
 at once almost as severely. For after all her pains, 
 and after driving poor Jesabelle to the wall, and to 
 insanity, all that she had got was, It is a fairy-gift, 
 at which even a child would laugh. She might well 
 have exclaimed, I have brought my pig to a fine 
 market, to be sure ! as the Princess lona Mic 
 Flanagan remarked, after she had driven a swine 
 from Dublin to Cork, where it was eaten by a wolf; 
 the incident was sung in Tara s Psaltery, and 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 225 
 
 recorded in the Leabhair Ruad, or Red -Book of the 
 Nine Masters, in Shelta. 
 
 When Jesabelle came to herself in the morning, 
 a brief half-hour of deadly, sickening despair was 
 succeeded by a good healthy reaction of rage at the 
 duchess, the fairy, Flaxius, and all mankind. Even 
 as the hero Hans Breitmann ungratefully wished 
 that his teacher, Professor Schmitzerl, * vas in hell 
 for teaching him how to ride on a bicycle, did Miss 
 Rockhard wish that all those whose favours, gifts, 
 and applause she had once so anxiously sought 
 were all at the bottom of Inferno, and the devil 
 dancing on them, because they had given her in 
 fullest measure what she most ardently desired, yea, 
 perjured herself to obtain ! 
 
 I have here arrived, O lector benevole, thou best of 
 readers, at what is to us, I trust, the most interesting 
 point, that is to say the crisis in this eventful his 
 tory. It happened once during the American War 
 that after the Confederates had been defeated in a 
 battle, certain gallant Southern * chivs or chivalric 
 officers, attempted to account for the failure : one 
 attributing it to a sudden rise in the river, and 
 another to a division not coming up in time ; till at 
 last one startled them all by asking, * If they didn t 
 think the Yankees had something to do with it ? 
 
 Even so, after making out that everybody had 
 been against her, and shown themselves a pack of 
 contemptible wretches, did it occur to Miss Rock- 
 hard that she Herself had counted for something in 
 the game, and had something to Do with It. And 
 being now, as it were, thrown into solitude, and 
 having a fine, vigorous mind, and being withdrawn 
 
 P 
 
226 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 from the society which had so fearfully warped it ; 
 she began, so to speak, to straighten out again 
 morally, and recuperate. She felt no remorse at all, 
 but she began to study that which had made her err : 
 a society, with its ideals of the most adroit slander ; 
 knowledge of all that is none of our business, os 
 tentation, wealth, rank, and birth, though ever so 
 evilly sustained, or disgraced or dishonoured ; the 
 adroitness of shallow sarcasm and silly flippancy ; 
 and the real meaning of vogue and fashion ; and 
 finally the awkward, blundering manner in which 
 even these wretched fancies were carried out by 
 nine-tenths of their devotees, real and accomplished 
 men and women of the world, the true article 
 being a great rarity even in Belgravia. 
 
 Her self-examination was long and searching, 
 sparing herself no pang, being as pitiless to the Me 
 as to the Them. Having no other on whom to 
 exercise her sarcasms, she turned them all on her 
 own follies not raving in despair, and calling her 
 self a fool, but, as she indeed always did, finding out 
 what was in the object thus illuminated and shown 
 up. And it did her an immense amount of good. 
 She had an awful crust of old dead shells, and a 
 fearful lot of foul sea-weed to scrape away from the 
 ship, ere it would sail well ; but she did it ! 
 
 For to do Jesabelle Rockhard justice, she had 
 pluck and bottom, grit and endurance, and was not 
 the kind of girl to throw up the game of life because 
 she had lost a fairy wardrobe, or even the favour of 
 a duchess ; and not being French, but right valiant 
 English of good fighting stock, she resolved to show 
 fight, and put a good face on a bad game. 
 
 All at once it occurred to her that the long and 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 227 
 
 earnest reflection which she had given to herself and 
 to society had developed the serious and sustained 
 analysis of character which forms the real power of 
 the novelist, and that which elevates him above the 
 story-teller. She was seated at Brighton in the 
 shingle on a fine day at noon, under an umbrella, 
 when it came into her mind that as a novelist she 
 could enter on a new life. It was like a great 
 revelation, for with her clear, vigorous, well-informed 
 mind, she grasped all the possibilities of such a 
 career, and its tremendous power. 
 
 Once in history, when women came a-cropper in 
 any earthly way, they went into a convent ; now 
 they go into a publisher s that is to say, they write 
 or re-write a novel. 
 
 All geniuses are white-washed. 
 
 A woman of genius may pawn her reputation 
 when an obscurity dare not look over the fence. 
 
 Make yourself a celebrity, and society will do the 
 rest. 
 
 Nine-tenths of notoriety consists not of what 
 people know, but what they say about anybody. 
 
 If you have sinned, there are two ways to be for 
 given. Either repent your evil deeds or describe 
 those of others. 
 
 The most certain way to make two thousand a 
 year by writing novels is to tell all your friends in 
 confidence that you earn one thousand. 
 
 Understandest thou this or what ? 
 
 A gypsy woman of her acquaintance from whom 
 she bought bouquets, and whose shrewd observations 
 had often amused her, came up and gave her what 
 is called in tramp slang a lyover, in Romany a ruzhia, 
 and in English a flower. 
 
228 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 Tell me, Amalthea Cooper/ she inquired, what 
 do you understand by society? Give me a sixpence 
 worth of information ! 
 
 * When any kind of a lot of people gets together 
 anyhow, replied Amalthea, after a grave pause, 
 it s a mob. When there s a-many that generally 
 assembles, such as three or four tans or families, it s 
 what we calls in our language the Sweti, or our 
 world. But when they are of the same kind of folk, 
 and are invited to a drop of tea or beer, or to have 
 something and a talk and one, may be, plays a tune 
 on a fiddle why, that s society/ 
 
 And what do they talk about ? inquired 
 Jesabelle. 
 
 * Well/ answered the gypsy with a smile, mostly 
 about how one has been sent to staripen, or prison, for 
 stealin and what a fool he was to let himself be 
 took and how other folks has run off with one 
 another wives, and the like um-moralitys, and how 
 some larrups their romis, or marts, which is wives 
 and missuses, and all such little rakapen or gossip 
 and that s what I calls society. 
 
 Cest tout comme chez nous, remarked Miss 
 Rockhard. Here is your sixpence, Amalthea. 
 Decidedly I will take to novelling. 
 
 It was a magnificent success, as great as the 
 toilets had been, and to Miss Jesabelle in her new 
 mind infinitely more gratifying. She didn t deserve 
 it, good people may say, but somehow Jesabelle 
 did write brilliant books, and rose to the top of the 
 wave. Even the incident of the evening at the 
 duchess s was now narrated as an eccentricity of 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 229 
 
 genius, and when it was mentioned men in the clubs 
 said : * Ah, my dear fellow, excuse me, you haven t 
 got the right rendering of that story. 3 Finally it 
 settled into two versions : one of the sporting 
 world, which found its way into the Blue Un> that 
 * Jes had done it for a wager, which was in a way 
 true ; and the other more humane legend, that it was 
 at the request of the duchess, who had begged her 
 to sing the Lunatic Bar-Maid in character. 
 
 And her novels were stinging, I warrant you. 
 As she became amiable personally she grew savage 
 in literature. She gave it to society and fashion 
 a la aquafortis ; and as society did not see itself but 
 only its friends in her scathing speeches, it was per 
 fectly delighted. She did not touch lightly and 
 gently and pityingly, as I have done, on its poor 
 little imperfections ; she ripped them up as with a 
 scalper in the hands of a Red Indian, or a familiar 
 tormentor of the Inquisition at a five o clock tea. I 
 never could learn that it did any good, for even the 
 victims felt pride at being shown up in good com 
 pany as worty of note ; but her books sold, and she 
 was famous. 
 
 Heaven help their souls, they d rather be 
 et cetera. 
 
 It was more than a year after the events here 
 narrated had taken place, and Miss Rockhard had 
 greatly improved on her celebrity by a * stunning 
 second, or another novel, that she found herself 
 again at Brighton, seated as before under a white 
 umbrella. She was reading proofs, which is of itself 
 a bliss to a young writer, as strong minds as hers 
 love to speak of my publisher/ and this was mingled 
 
230 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 with a mild, vague impression of children digging 
 with wooden spades, negro minstrels, ballad-singers, 
 flower-girls, bathing-machines, the flow of a thousand 
 voices, the broad-spreading, blue ocean, and ships far 
 off and out at sea, with the sun upon their sails. 
 
 When lifting her eyes they encountered the gaze 
 of another pair, which for an instant half prolonged 
 her dreamy mood in dim conjecture, till she recog 
 nised in the other the somewhat remarkable character 
 who had, indirectly, had such a wondrous influence 
 on her fate. It was indeed the Great and Wise 
 Flaxius, in propria persona, who had taken unto 
 himself a pennyworth of chair at a little distance, 
 which distance he promptly proceeded to diminish 
 when he perceived that the lady had not forgotten 
 him. 
 
 It is a long time since we first met/ said Miss 
 Rockhard. Nearly two years. 
 
 Nearly two thousand years, replied Flaxius in a 
 strangely solemn voice, wie Glocketon und Orgelklang. 
 Yes, quite two thousand, though learned critics of 
 the Kethubim differ as to the date, and Jochanan and 
 Ben Hillel think but never mind ! Tis so. 
 
 And who was I then? inquired Miss Rockhard, 
 entering, as she thought, into the spirit of one of 
 Flaxius s strange jests. 
 
 Truly a femme incomprise, and one who died, in 
 fact, misunderstood, just as you might have done 
 had you made your exit some two years ago, since 
 at that time you did not really understand yourself. 
 
 I think, replied the dear young lady, that is 
 strictly true of the whole silly sisterhood. She said 
 it with a deep blush, though not a blusher in a 
 general way, for she recalled the last interview, much 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 231 
 
 in sorrow, not at all in wrath. * But who was I, 
 two millennia gone by? 
 
 The wife of King Ahab of the Jews, the very 
 much distinguished Jezebel. 
 
 Truly this was a shake for Miss Rockhard, and 
 the blush came up as a flush somewhat heightened ; 
 yet she said with a smile : 
 
 I regret that you only remember me as the 
 greatest iniquity of the Old Testament. I am 
 curious to know if you admired me very much in 
 that character ? 
 
 Not in that character, but in your true one, which, 
 I declare sincerely and without paradox, has been 
 most cruelly misrepresented. 
 
 ( As it is a personal matter, rejoined Miss Rock- 
 hard, I need not say that I am all expectancy and 
 attention/ 
 
 Very well. Who is it that describes Jezebel for 
 us? A personal enemy of extreme bitterness, and 
 one of a race approving death and murder in any 
 form, when any one of the Goyim^ or Gentiles, is 
 concerned. 
 
 I never thought of that/ said Jesabelle reflectively. 
 * And religious antipathy must have been stronger 
 among the Hebrews than in any other race, for they 
 were strong-minded. 
 
 Yes, replied Flaxius, c it is too generally lost 
 sight of in Church histories that those who make 
 the best martyrs are also best martyring others. 
 But to return to Jezebel. The first and chief crime 
 with which she is charged is remaining steadfast to 
 that polytheistic Syrian religion in which she was 
 brought up, and to which she was in duty bound to 
 be attached, since her father was King of Zidon, 
 
232 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 and in a sense its head. The King of the Jews 
 married her, and was fascinated by the charms of 
 that splendid and sensual system which seemed so 
 attractive, compared to the grim, Hebrew, ascetic 
 monotheism, which gave no joyousness to this life, 
 neither did it promise a future as did the Syrian, 
 so that it came to pass that the greatest and wisest 
 men among the Hebrews often adopted it, and it 
 more than once happened that nearly all Israel went 
 over to it. 
 
 Now bear in mind, my friend, 5 said Flaxius with 
 a smile, l that in reading the Book of Kings we 
 generally go as in a torrent of headlong agreement 
 with the writer, who assumes, as a matter of course, 
 that everybody who is not a Hebrew monotheist, 
 and an implicit believer in all that the prophets are 
 said to have said, and all that is told about them, 
 is utterly wicked beyond all sinners, and deserving 
 death. 
 
 1 That is true, assented Miss Rockhard. 
 
 The prophet whom Jezebel threatened in a rage 
 because he had put to death the priests of her own 
 religion, who were probably her intimate friends and 
 relations, is Elijah Elia who with the masculine 
 termination appears in Greek as Helios, the sun, 
 who, like the latter, goes up to, or over, the heaven 
 in a chariot of fire, after performing the preliminary 
 Moses-miracle of dividing the water of a stream. I 
 think that we may set aside Jezebel s sins as re 
 garded this very mythical character as dubiously 
 inconsiderable. And when we reflect that the 
 Hebrews slew one hundred thousand Syrians in one 
 day, as we read in the twenty-ninth verse of the 
 twentieth chapter of Kings, simply for differences 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 233 
 
 of religious opinion, the whole war being stimulated 
 by prophets and priests, the slaughter of a few 
 prophets ascribed to Jezebel may well pass as an 
 incident of war. These great bands of one hundred 
 and fifty prophets seem to have been identical with 
 the roaming Darweesh of the Arabs, whose business 
 it is to stir up war. We are accustomed to feel awe 
 at the prophets, because they usually appear singly 
 in their majesty, like God, but these bands of one 
 hundred and fifty, all prophesying en masse, rather 
 detract from the dignity of the profession. 
 
 4 Now, as regards Naboth s vineyard, it was un 
 questionably a wicked deed. Ahab had offered 
 Naboth, the Jezreelite, a better vineyard for his own, 
 or its worth in money, and Ahab was the king. 
 The refusal was a bitter blow before all the world ; 
 so bitter that the king became ill, and seemed to 
 be dying, because he had been, as he conceived, 
 insulted, 
 
 Now there is no proof that Jezebel cared two 
 pence for the vineyard, but she was passionately 
 fond of her family and husband. She had been 
 born and brought up to familiarity with excess of 
 bloodshed for trifles ; she had seen all the priests 
 whom she revered, and one hundred thousand of her 
 own people killed for adhering to their own religion, 
 and as she preferred the life of Ahab to that of 
 Naboth, and being an unquestionably clever and 
 vigorous woman, she easily contrived to have the 
 latter put out of the way. One evil deed does not 
 excuse another, but it is worth observing that pious 
 King David was guilty of a very similar, but far 
 viler and more nefarious transaction, as regarded 
 Uriah s wife, for which he was indeed only vicariously 
 
234 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 punished, while Jezebel was made to suffer not only 
 by loss of husband and son, but most cruelly in 
 person. 
 
 ( Now we come to the end of the tragedy. Jehu, 
 after having murdered Jehoram in a cowardly and 
 treacherous manner, returned to Jerusalem. And 
 here the narrator by a most ingenious little touch 
 of art has contrived to say something of Jezebel 
 which has done more to make her appear infamous 
 by her biographer than everything else accusative 
 if indeed he meant it which may be doubtful. It 
 is the simple statement that, " When Jehu was come 
 to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it, and she painted her 
 face and tired her head, and looked out at a 
 window." From which has come the popular say 
 ing of " painted Jezebels," suggesting vile women 
 covered with rouge. 
 
 And even rouge is not quite a sin ; if it be, God 
 help Belgravia ! remarked Miss Rockhard. 
 
 And yet she was not even rouged/ added Flaxius, 
 for the Hebrew original says, " put her eyes in 
 painting," which means that she drew lines with 
 Kohl or antimony powder under her eyelashes, as 
 was the usual custom with all women, good or bad, 
 all over the East, where it is common to this day. 
 It amounted to no more than putting on a bonnet 
 or drawing on a pair of gloves. As for " tiring her 
 head, " added Flaxius solemnly, and almost sadly, 
 when I think how Isaiah and Jeremiah must have 
 tired the heads and hearts of all Israel with their 
 lamentations, I can pass over Jezebel s work. It 
 was her own business. 
 
 And when the brutal and cowardly assassin Jehu 
 entered, she addressed him as only an injured wife 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 235 
 
 and mother and a woman of marvellous wit and 
 deep feeling could have done, with the cleverest, 
 keenest, and most succinct sarcasm or reproach ever 
 uttered. It was simply, " Had Zimri peace who slew 
 his master ? " Few at the present day realise how 
 stinging this question was. To an extremely super 
 stitious and brutal man like Jehu, fearful of omens, 
 and uneasy as to the crimes of regicide, it was 
 maddening. But the woman never existed who 
 wouldn t have said it, if she could have thought 
 of it. 
 
 * I am sure that /should, under the circumstances/ 
 replied the young lady, though I knew that all the 
 vengeance in the hand of man was to follow. 
 
 So she was thrown out of the window, and Jehu 
 killed her, stamping the bruised woman under his 
 own feet in his frenzied rage, so that, as it is written, 
 " some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall and 
 on the horses," showing how high it must have jetted 
 up, and how savagely she was trampled on by the 
 infuriated Jew. 
 
 Even the eating of Jezebel by dogs is told in 
 such a manner as to convey an impression of infamy 
 and guilt on her part. But if Jehu, or any other 
 Jew or Gentile, or anything eatable, were thrown 
 to the dogs in Jerusalem to-day, they would soon 
 finish it. When the soul is gone, it matters little 
 how the poor shell of humanity is treated. But I 
 find something very degrading and disgraceful in 
 the manner in which the writer dwells upon and 
 exults in the fact that the carcase of Jezebel was 
 insulted, and that dogs ate her flesh. It would have 
 been more creditable to Elijah, and to all concerned, 
 if they had given her burial as became a king s 
 
236 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 daughter. For she was queenly, and showed no 
 fear in her last moment, and when she knew that 
 death was at hand, she calmly made her toilet, as 
 a lady would, to appear well, like Queen Catherine, 
 to the last, and greeted her foe with a richly de 
 served reproof, and not with prayers for mercy. 
 Yes, she died like one of royal race. 
 
 Mr. Flaxius, said Miss Jesabelle, do you know 
 that if I should ever come into court, as defendant, 
 in anything from pitch and toss up to murder, 
 anarchy, or high treason, I should like to have you 
 for my counsel. I believe that you would make me 
 out an angel, even to my own conviction. 
 
 The usual formula of polite society would be, 
 replied Flaxius, * to say that I have always been 
 convinced myself of the fact. But as I have not, 
 and would be very much puzzled to know how to 
 dispose of any such feathered anomaly, all I can 
 say is that if you were no more guilty than I believe 
 Jezebel to have been, I would accept the case with 
 alacrity, and clear you, if there be such a thing as 
 justice in the land. 
 
 * Since you have defended Jezebel so well/ replied 
 the lady, perhaps you could say a word for 
 Herodias. I always understood that the Advocatus 
 diaboli was the prosecuting attorney, but in this case 
 he appears for the defence. 
 
 Herodias, said the sage, was a bird of a very 
 different colour, but, like all the rest, she was a 
 femme incomprise. And to begin with, the original 
 of the name, who is to this very day recognised 
 among the older witches in Italy as their queen, 
 jointly with Diana, was of remote Oriental origin, 
 or the same as Lilith of the Jews. She was 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 237 
 
 eminently the fair demon of fascination who was 
 " simply killing," and you must bear it in mind that 
 something of all this devilry was in the mind of 
 the good Christians who wrote about the lady of 
 the New Testament who danced Herod off his head 
 and the head off Saint John. And the original 
 Herodias was as certainly the goddess of dancing, 
 which was a serious and terrible means of bewitch 
 ment in the olden time. 1 
 
 1 In regard to the transaction described in the 
 later Scripture, it is marvellous that no writer has 
 ever treated it from a modern-society, Christian, 
 five-0 clock-tea, practical point of view. Suppose a 
 lady an intelligent, accomplished widow who has 
 had a pleasant life as wife of the governor of Pary- 
 obberee, or Cathay. The governor dies, his brother 
 succeeds to the appointment, and marries the widow, 
 as was strictly commanded in the Old Testa 
 ment ; from which book sundry moderns derive the 
 command that a man is not to marry his wife s 
 sister. 
 
 Consistency, thou art a jewel ! interpolated Miss 
 Rockhard. 
 
 Well he marries the widow, or, it may be, the 
 fraternal divorced wife. Then uprises a clergyman 
 of a new sect, with what were considered eccentric 
 new views, who has tremendous influence among 
 the people, and informs the governor that his 
 marriage is illegal. And then, fancy the feelings of 
 Herodias ! On one hand divorce and perhaps death 
 or poverty, with a charming daughter just coming 
 
 1 Here the chronicler of Flaxius would fain get in a little reclame, 
 by mentioning that Herodias and Diana have a small book to them 
 selves in Aradia or the Gospel of the Witches, by Charles Godfrey 
 Leland. London : D. Nutt. 
 
238 THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 out ; on the other a prophet of the wildest descrip 
 tion. And it was considered to be such a remark 
 ably natural, trifling, and commonplace thing in 
 those days to put anybody to death who was in 
 your way, if you had the power to do it ; just as 
 good John Calvin did with Servetus when the latter 
 got in his way, or as some millions of heretics were 
 disposed of, mostly with antecedent torture, by 
 "meek, merciful, all-Christlike Mother Church." And 
 so Herodias did what the grand majority of worldly- 
 minded, High or Low Church, Christian matrons and 
 mammas would do to-day, under the same circum 
 stances if they could and put Saint John out of 
 the way. 
 
 * This is the legend of Herodias. 
 
 There was a long silence, when Flaxius said : 
 
 Now tell me, if under the same conditions of 
 secrecy as before, and with all your recent ex 
 perience and newly acquired wisdom, would you 
 accept the marvellous wardrobe of the fairy Alban 
 once more, for if you will take it you shall have 
 it, forthwith ? 
 
 Miss Rockhard had for months reflected on and 
 studied this very question to its very lees. But she 
 took a minute two minutes to her reply, and when 
 she spoke it was with emotion close to tears, but 
 with firm voice : 
 
 Oh, I thank you from my very heart, for I feel 
 deeply that this offer now is a thousand times 
 kinder than was the first. But I have had my 
 lesson, and I hope I do not need another when I 
 do, you will, I hope, here she looked up with a sad, 
 sweet smile. 
 
OF MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 239 
 
 ( She is immensely prettier than she used to be/ 
 thought Flaxius.) 
 
 You will I hope not spare me. But as for the 
 wardrobe, it is best where it is in fairy hands. Nor 
 would I know anything more of magic or occulta or 
 mysteries, for I have learned what few know, that 
 no human nature, unless perhaps it be gifted as 
 few are, and has had years of training, can keep, or 
 is fit to know, such secrets. It will be time 
 to attend to them when we shall have exhausted 
 science. 
 
 Yes, replied Flaxius, when you exhaust science 
 a little more, you will indeed find that magic is 
 beginning in earnest. 
 
 And so, added Jesabelle with a smile, as they 
 rose to depart I dare say it was in the direction 
 of Mutton s, to lunch we learn from past trials 
 and bitter storms how in future to keep under 
 shelter, and seek only the sunny way. 
 
 " For all experience is an arch where through 
 
 Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades 
 For ever and for ever as we roam." 
 
 Haec fabula docet. * Ye morale of whych lytil 
 historic, pens Flaxius as usual on the galley, is 
 that we should, firstly, not believe the worst of 
 anybody, be it derived from their own manner, 
 and demeanour, or from oral or written report, 
 and above all have patience with them, and try to 
 help them to a better state. For, verily, this Miss 
 Rockhard was a hard nut to crack, and enough to 
 daunt the devil, or any decent man as I first met 
 her, and a hard time I had with her, yet did she 
 
2 4 o THE WONDERFUL STORY 
 
 come out ( all right as a trivet/ a trivet being, as ye 
 know, dearly beloved, a tripod, and the reference 
 all right to the infallible accuracy of the Delphic 
 oracle, which is, however, a fact not generally known. 
 For of all things a three-legged stool stands most 
 securely. 
 
 As for the manner in which any evil report may 
 be cruelly and undeservedly attached to a name, 
 there is still a word to be said for belle Jezebel of 
 Hebrew history. When I of late defended her 
 character, I was rebuffed with the remark that 
 there was in the Book of Kings a distinct assertion 
 that she was a ahem ! social evil and a witch : 
 this being the speech of Jehu, Kings II. 9, v. 22. 
 
 Now be it observed that the expression here 
 employed is to be found over and over again in 
 the Old Testament, and in almost every instance is 
 used not to signify any adultery or individual im 
 morality, but to discredit the Syrian religion. It 
 was a very nasty and unmanly form of abuse which 
 the Hebrew prophets, and Saint John, used far too 
 freely, on all occasions, to characterise everything 
 theological which displeased them ; just as sailors 
 and the like use bloody/ et cetera, very often with 
 no meaning whatever, or as the gentlemen and 
 ladies of Houndsditch cry out noffgur and ben- 
 noffgur, and so forth, far too freely to all offenders. 
 This speech of Jehu s was, it is true, used not in 
 the Pickwickian sense, but most certainly in the 
 theological, which is the next thing to it. For 
 the first impulse of the odium theologicum is, to 
 be nasty. 
 
 Now a good tough nature like Jesabelle s, when 
 really honest, is all the better and cleaner for a 
 
MISS JESABELLE ROCKHARD 241 
 
 good mangling. As was beautifully expressed by 
 the ancients as follows 
 
 that is, three V s, meaning Virtus virtute virescit, 
 Virtue flourishes by virtue, signifying that like the 
 chamomile it grows the more for being trampled on. 
 To the present day this sign is often to be seen on 
 the walls of Florence, scratched in chalk or charcoal, 
 and prefixed to the names of popular favourites. It 
 is generally believed to be a monogram of Evviva ! 
 
HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE WITH 
 A JURY OF TWELVE DEVILS 
 
 Sono demoni chi rappresentano il popolaccio del inferno, 
 mentre che i diavoli ne sono i principi e i gran signori. 
 
 There are demons who represent the populace of hell, 
 while the devils are its nobility and great gentlemen ; and 
 some of these have left a name, such as it is, in books on 
 strange subjects. Del Diavolo, a Treatise, 1870. 
 
 THE Sun had drowned himself in the sea, and his 
 widow, the Sky, after dissipating the evening gold 
 which he had left, was contracting a second marriage 
 with Night, who brought her as settlement the silver 
 moon and the whole heavenly sack of stars, when 
 Flaxius wandered along alone by the wild, wail 
 ing waves, seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling, and 
 hearing the sweet-salt, vapoury ocean breeze. So 
 he went on it was a lonely coast till he en 
 countered a shepherd established in a hut of stones 
 and turf; a tenement so small as to bear to its 
 inhabitant the relation a shell bears to a tortoise. 
 
 Is there any place hereabout, asked Flaxius, 
 * where I could lodge for the night? 
 
 None for near a five mile, answered the herd, 
 removing the slender pipe of clay from his lips ; 
 leastwise none where yer could get kin. That is, 
 cept the Devil s Den, a hold ouse, furder on, and 
 
 242 
 
HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE 243 
 
 there^ he added emphatically, I reckon yer d only 
 be too glad to get hout* 
 
 Why ? inquired Flaxius. 
 
 Cos it s ruined wuss than Jane Shoree hever 
 wus by the royal rep-ro-bate] replied the herd, who 
 appeared to have some tincture of letters. 
 
 * Is it roofed ? 
 
 Roofed and water-proofed/ was the reply. Taint 
 there that the affliction commences. I mean ruined 
 in reppertation and char-ac-ter. It s mellincolly and 
 hin bad sperits leastways bad sperits is in hit an 
 always were since the smugglers left hoff usin hof 
 hit. Hits osts his ghosts. 
 
 Flaxius gave the man a deeply pensive look, and 
 a small silver coin. The herd replied with a six- 
 pence-ive smile of gratitude. Sir, he exclaimed, 
 * " you are a good Lot," as the lady said to her 
 usband before she turned to a piller hof salt. 
 
 How can I be a lot, being but one? inquired 
 Flaxius. 
 
 Hi call a cove good com-peny when a penny 
 come to me from im, replied the shepherd. * You 
 stand six hof em. You re more n a cove, you re a 
 whole covey hof birds, a multitood o virtues, a arf 
 dozener. 
 
 The sage went on from pile to pile of pebbles, or 
 earth, marked with whitewash to serve the coast 
 guards as guides in darkness, till he beheld before 
 him the shelter which he sought. It was a dilapi 
 dated stone house of the Jacobean time and style; 
 not unpicturesque, gracefully draped with ivy, and 
 as it stood in the light of a full moon on a rising 
 rocky platform, with a sea-view circling round, there 
 was in it something which irresistibly recalled scenes 
 
244 HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE 
 
 in theatres and novels, smugglers, witches, Guy 
 Mannering, and Anne the uncanny of Geierstein. 
 
 But what gave it specially this appearance to 
 Flaxius was the gleam from within of a light, which 
 he knew at once was lit by no mortal match and fed 
 by no earthly oil or fuel. It rose and fell, quivering 
 and thrilling like a Northern light, sometimes causing 
 the building to appear as if in flame, and then shrink 
 ing to an arrowy ray, or a mere needle, changing 
 to many hues in which, however, a sulphur blue ever 
 predominated. And with its changes there rang in 
 time and measure, high or low, unearthly laughter, 
 strange shouts or ululations, sinking to stranger 
 humming or buzzing, and passing to a dreamy 
 melody in softened shade, all at once broken up by 
 a startling blare and flare and wild vociferation in 
 strange tongues. 
 
 It required little reflection for the Magian to con 
 jecture the nature of the company from whom such 
 sounds proceeded, nor was he astonished, after open 
 ing the door, entering the hall, and uttering the 
 wizard greeting, which proclaimed his nature, to see 
 the sight which met his eyes. 
 
 Round about a great block of sandstone, which 
 served for a table, and on which stood two open cases 
 of gin, several loose bottles, a ten-gallon demijohn 
 of whisky, a raisin box full of Perique, or favori du 
 diable tobacco, and an ancient, much-thumbed manu 
 script bound in sheet-iron, sat lolling and sprawling 
 in all the extravagance of unconventional ease, on 
 divans or seats, also of stone, twelve demons, or spirits 
 of that kind whose mission it is in life to busy them 
 selves especially with all that is mischievous, reck 
 less, stirring, wild, eccentric, or subversive. That is 
 
WITH A JURY OF TWELVE DEVILS 245 
 
 to say, they are always occupied with what they 
 call whooping it up ; aiding and encouraging youth 
 to paint towns red, inspiring Celtic politics, whether 
 French or Irish, organising riots, editing society 
 newspapers, evoking up divorces, anarchising, and 
 filling police courts with cases. They were all 
 smoking and drinking, and seemed to be earnestly 
 occupied with some extremely interesting subject 
 of debate ; the intensity or moderation of which was 
 manifested in the crescendo, or diminuendo t of a flame 
 rising from a great terra-cotta vase, and by the tones 
 of their voices. 
 
 * Hallo, old Flax, is that you ? cried the only one of 
 this precious company with whom the Sage had ever 
 before made acquaintance. This was Slang not by 
 any means the worst of them, since his mission merely 
 was to corrupt language, and invent all kinds of new, 
 grotesque forms of speech. * Mozeltoffl luck to you, 
 old cove, sas tute a kairin tiro kokero ? he continued 
 in the tongue generally spoken among devils and 
 goblins, how have you been doing since they let 
 you out ? 
 
 Kushti adosta, well enough/ replied Flaxius in 
 the same tone and tongue, for there never was man 
 on earth who could so adapt himself gracefully to 
 the most varied society or all shorts and editions 
 of life. May I venture to ask for what purpose you 
 gentlemen are here assembled ? 
 
 Lei a swagler an a cutter a inul-tatto-pani, take a 
 pipe and a drop of brandy before we get to biz] 
 exclaimed Slang, dusting a seat obsequiously as he 
 spoke ; and indeed it was quite evident, despite their 
 swaggering impudence and their feet on the tables,that 
 the whole party of demons were deeply sensible of 
 
246 HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE 
 
 the honour of entertaining such a distinguished guest. 
 Flaxius accepted the refreshment, and sat down. 
 
 What you behold, said Moloch, the diavolo of 
 Pessimism, is a sad spectacle and a melancholy 
 instance of diabolical deterioration, showing how 
 even natures which have received every blessing of 
 hell and all infernal advantages from the devil him 
 self can become depraved to mere inertia. We are 
 now a jury here assembled to try one of our number 
 for his reputation. You, sir, though happily ex 
 empted from all such mutations, are aware that the 
 limit of moral existence is one thousand years for 
 a member of our order, unless he by progressive 
 energy or genius advances himself, in which case he 
 receives a renewal of his social lease. Now there 
 is one of our number known as Sneak, who during 
 all his snivelling millennium has never got beyond 
 where he begun or vulgarity and idle folly includ 
 ing carrying and retailing petty gossip, teaching 
 foolish old club-men and ladies how to twaddle about 
 divorces and marriages, elopements, and relationships, 
 gleaning trash and mean slander from low servants, 
 and sticking just there. Such an existence, we hold, 
 is too contemptible for even the meanest devil in 
 Inferno ; hence this jury, to decide whether the 
 creature shall exist among us any longer; and as 
 our judge has failed to put in an appearance we 
 respectfully request your Wisdom to take his place 
 as referee/ 
 
 I consent with pleasure, said Flaxius. * Produce 
 the culprit ! 
 
 Atruculent-lookingdemonnamedDobble,whosede- 
 partment was quarrelling, the prize-ring, rencounters, 
 and rows, here arose, went to a corner, put a box 
 
WITH A JURY OF TWELVE DEVILS 247 
 
 under his arm, brought it to the table, opened it, and 
 took from it a form pressed flat like a pair of trousers 
 in a trunk. This he unfolded blew it up like a 
 bladder by means of the stem of his clay-pipe and 
 gave it a drink of whisky, when lo ! the form as 
 sumed some semblance of, if not humanity, at least 
 demonity. It was a wretched - looking phantom, 
 something in it recalling a battered Punch or 
 tattered Ally Sloper, a Paul Pry, a thing without a 
 conscience or moral sense, yet not without prying 
 inquisitiveness or petty cunning a poor simulacrum 
 of a popular, paltry jest. It sat up and grinned, and 
 leered, without a trace of fear, as if all its function 
 finished it had nothing else to do but to die game, as 
 vulgar, second-hand tradition enjoined its kind to do. 
 
 I appear here, said Moloch, not without dignity, 
 * as advocatus diaboli, or public prosecutor. The 
 entire life and actions of this sneak, whom I will 
 not honour with the name of devil, or even imp, 
 are so well known to all here present as to render a 
 formal indictment a work of supererogation. Yet 
 that all due formalities may be properly fulfilled, I 
 ask the accused if he demands that any accusation 
 be made? 
 
 To which the culprit replied by casting up his 
 head, and saying, in a tone which would have elicited 
 roars of applause in a music hall : 
 
 Ya-ap ! Who re you ? Shut up ! 
 
 An indictment is therefore needless. Let me 
 here remark, gentlemen, said Moloch, with great im- 
 pressiveness, that though we may all be demons, 
 and even the humblest of our order, our mission is 
 not, as is vulgarly supposed, to do evil. It is simply 
 agitation and action. 
 
248 HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE 
 
 To keep things a-bilin , interposed Slang. 
 
 Quite true. The honourable gentleman who has 
 just interrupted me is, for example, often accused of 
 mere vulgarity, but unjustly. He may be a rude 
 poet, but he invents new similes and vigorous 
 racy words which are often wanting. I myself in 
 many ways by introducing Pessimism to society, 
 and by raising the question as to whether life is 
 worth living, caused a discussion which rendered 
 me worthy of receiving a renewal of my lease of 
 life. The pugnacity of my colleague Dobble has 
 its silver lining it provokes resistance, argument, 
 and conclusion. We may all be a rough lot with a 
 hard bark, but there is wood in us. But the accused 
 is all rotten bark and no bite, and hollow. Vulgarity, 
 twaddle, gossip, and small-talk are all one and the 
 same thing; and the mind devoted to them alone 
 stagnates and putrefies. The spirit of it dies very 
 slowly, gentlemen ; but if nothing better can be said 
 of this fin de siecle, it must be at least admitted that 
 this century has witnessed no advance in vulgarity 
 and the pettiness which kills for everything. Gentle 
 men, I await your verdict? 
 
 GUILTY, in large capitals, cried Slang, who 
 seemed to be foreman. * We re all agreed like a rope 
 of inyons. 
 
 Prisoner, exclaimed Flaxius, have you anything 
 to say why sentence of non-renewal of existence 
 should not be passed on you. 
 
 Oh, a nt I just ? screamed Sneak in a Punch tone. 
 * Call me vulgar do yer, yer vaggabones me that 
 moves in the highest circles among the biggest 
 suckers ! Listen to this ! And with that, he drew 
 from his pocket a fashionable weekly newspaper, 
 
WITH A JURY OF TWELVE DEVILS 249 
 
 well known on every stand, and proceeded to read 
 from it such a mass of drivelling silliness relating to 
 the pettiest acts or tastes of the upper classes, 
 including that of royalty itself, and all that consti 
 tuted what it regarded as Society, that even 
 Flaxius was fain to drink another glass of brandy, 
 and light a cigar to enable him to sustain the in 
 fliction. At last it came to an end. 
 
 There ! exclaimed Sneak triumphantly. That s 
 what Erbamala, the great noveliste, and I call human 
 nature. The best art is the depicting that it pays 
 best and I m the spirit who inspires it all. There I 
 rest my defence. 
 
 The defence, said Flaxius, has aggravated the 
 offence. 
 
 ( Well, my time is not out, and you 11 find that I 
 shall drag on awhile longer. 
 
 True, observed Flaxius, but observe that there 
 ^vas a time when you had a place, such as it was, 
 among those who are here present. Now it is lost ; 
 even the demons of the present day disown you. 
 Therefore I pronounce you dead de facto^ for those 
 for whom you now live among mortals have no 
 intellects. Begone ! 
 
 The foreman opened a window, and the living 
 dead whisked out of it, like a great carrion blue 
 bottle with a buzz. 
 
 Did the deceased leave any property on which to 
 administer? asked Boodle, the modern incarnation 
 of Mammon. 
 
 Yes, he left ME/ piped a small voice. And a 
 sharp little imp, two inches in height, sprang on the 
 table. I m Puttuli: 
 
 Immortalised by Musseus, said Moloch. You 
 
250 HOW FLAXIUS SAT AS JUDGE 
 
 were used to go about to people s pockets and report 
 what you found therein to your master. 
 
 Yes, but I can do more than that, replied 
 Puttuli. I can observe and report anything. 
 
 Well, none of us want you, cried Slang, you 
 little, sneaking, spying villain. So be off with you by 
 the first boat quicker than immediately, if not 
 sooner. 
 
 1 Nay/ said Flaxius, he may be useful if properly 
 employed. With your permission, gentlemen, I will 
 take him. 
 
 And as there was no dissenting voice, the wise 
 Flaxius departed with Puttuli in his pocket. And 
 he soon found that he had indeed a pocket-com 
 panion, and voluble if not valuable vade-mecum, 
 for the diminutive imp was what a distinguished 
 American writer calls an * amoosin little cuss, and 
 especially good at beguiling off the odd corners of 
 the weary hours. 
 
 Haec fabula docetj wrote Flaxius, or its moral 
 is not what too many satirists so sadly wail that 
 Sneak actually represents the spirit of this bottom 
 of the century, but its very dregs, which are, how 
 ever, stirred up too much by the spoons of small 
 writers into what would be, but for them, a clear, 
 exhilarating beverage. The very devils, whose 
 agitation in a certain way leads ever to something 
 that is good, find their work hindered by this imp of 
 pettiness. Prosperity and peace, or its stagnation, 
 engender the birth of such mosquitoes. A roaring 
 torrent of even dirty water is better, for it will wash 
 itself clean ere long, but a standing pool only creates 
 vile insects and malaria. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 " L amour des livres est plus utile que vous ne croyez," dit 
 le capitaine, "carje trouve dans mes etudes un calme qui vous 
 manque. Vous ne soupgonnez pas tout ce qu une manie a de 
 precieux, docteur ! Elle occupe comme une passion, et n a 
 aucun de ses tourments. Croyez-moi, puisque la vie n est 
 apres tout qu une voiture mal suspendue qui nous conduit a la 
 mort, les sages sont ceux qui baissent les stores, sans songer 
 au but ni aux cahots." 
 
 Souvenirs (fun JBas Breton, par Emile Souvestre. 
 
 Few are the men who know what lives do hide, 
 Or dream what demons lurk, or fairies flit, 
 In places which to them seem dull and tame, 
 Even as a drop of water to the eye 
 Appears to it like naught ; but take to it a glass, 
 And lo it is a sea with monsters filled, 
 Devouring, making love, or raging wild 
 Full many a heart is like that water drop. 
 
 THE day had been grim and ill-tempered flitting 
 fitfully through all the phases of bad weather pro 
 mising at times, like a deceitful child, to be good, 
 when it would clear a little into curling mists, 
 through which there came a doubtful ray of light 
 when straight anon there fell a dismal fog, then 
 wild rain, maddened by the roaring of the wind 
 for tis terrible mourning when any one cries aloud 
 and weeps at the same time laut aufweinend as 
 the Germans say. 
 
 Oh, I warrant you that the rusty weather-cocks, as 
 they whirled round and round, and screamed as if 
 crowing to the Wilde Jdger, in the old town of 
 Nuremberg, and the wind low-waving like the deep 
 
 251 
 
252 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 baying of his hounds made a fine witches -chorus 
 that night yea, the very gutters in their unwonted 
 joy at becoming bounding brooks sang gurgling songs 
 as they hurried along to leap into the Pegnitz . . . 
 
 Tis a Sauwetter yea, a Hundeswetter a swine 
 and dog weather, exclaimed the little old man to 
 Flaxius, as the latter refuged himself just long 
 enough to turn his umbrella, which had been 
 reversed into a great goblet by a sudden squall, 
 under an arch. This arch was over the projecting 
 doorway of a shop; twas immensely massive from 
 the old, bold time, and I warrant you that Albert 
 Diirer and Willibald Pirckheimer and Hans Sachs 
 and all of em had passed under it often. 
 
 I could make better weather, added the old man, 
 with only a rusty tea-kettle and a pint of - 
 
 Flaxius looked up. There was a little, half- 
 obliterated sign over the ancient door, which had 
 once proclaimed to the world that here was a Buch- 
 handlung or book-shop, but like an ancient warrior, 
 with stress of time and battling with the elements, 
 it had forgotten most of its letters. 
 
 You sell books ? replied Flaxius. 
 
 How do you know that! asked the little man, 
 with a quick, suspicious glance, as if a secret which 
 he wished to keep hidden had been revealed. 
 
 And you have for sale a fine copy of the 
 Emblemata of Iselburg in old German rhyme, pub 
 lished in Nuremberg in Fifteen Hundred and 
 Seventeen . . . and a superbly bound exemplar of 
 the Altdeutsche W alder of Grimm. 
 
 Not for sale not for sale oh, no! exclaimed 
 the little old man eagerly. They belong to my 
 private library. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 253 
 
 Also the Mascarades Monastiques of Rabelli, 
 pursued Flaxius pitilessly. 
 
 "Tis sold/ cried the Bookseller, as if alarmed. 
 
 It isn t; but never mind, I don t want to buy 
 them, yet I would like to see your collection. 
 
 * A ck y so! responded the ancient, visibly 
 relieved. Komm herein, du lieber Cast, wenn du 
 nichts im Beutel hast. 
 
 " Enter as a welcome guest, 
 If thou really nothing hast, 
 If thou rt poor then sit thee down 
 If thou st money, get thee gone ! " 
 
 And with this invitation, he led the way into 
 a marvellous old German interior, which looked as 
 if it had been painted by some artist who was, as 
 I once heard a French artist say, mad on the 
 Middle Age and earlier time. For it was heavily 
 arched, and looked like the crypt of a cathedral, or 
 the Stube of the Giant Tavern in the Hof-Gasse of 
 Innsbruck, which is, indeed, lovely to behold, and 
 far away finer than the Auerbach Keller of Leipzig. 
 All around were books : books of tarnished gold in 
 old ivory-parchment bindings ; books in tremendous 
 plank covers of old oak, knobbed with bronze or 
 iron, like castle doors ; books in marvellous cut- 
 vellum, with rich Gothic grotesques, and silver 
 clasps of extravagant richness ; books on shelves 
 and heaped up in piles like rubbish ; everywhere 
 books and such books ! Twas a vision, a dream, 
 an endless promise of a bibliomaniac s paradise ! 
 
 And there the two sat for hours turning over the 
 black letter of the olden time, like two wizards 
 evoking the spirits of the dead, which, indeed, the 
 scholar always does when he reads reverently in such 
 
254 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 books, which were made, and once studied, by the 
 departed. For it is in his thoughts that the writer 
 lives in after ages, and he is ever with us as we read. 
 
 The dealer was enchanted also with his guest, 
 hearing the wondrous words and ponderous stories, 
 strange, which were uttered in calm, solemn tone; and 
 a rapt shuddering stole over him as they turned some 
 old and legend-leaved book, mysterious to behold, 
 while he learned priceless secrets enhancing the value 
 even of what he most esteemed. 
 
 Flaxius took up an old work Das Schachzabel- 
 spiel of Jacob Manuel of 1 536. 
 
 There seems to be something in the binding, he 
 said. Perhaps some old paper. May I examine it ? 
 
 He bent back with care the thin parchment, and 
 drew out a manuscript of perhaps twenty leaves, 
 which had been put in to stiffen the binding, as 
 waste-paper. 
 
 This is indeed a find, he solemnly remarked. 
 A great discovery. 
 
 What is it? 
 
 A manuscript play as yet unknown, by Hans 
 Sachs, entitled Die Weisse Rabe or, The White 
 Raven, with the motto from the Renner of 
 Trimberg : 
 
 * " Selten wir gesehen haben 
 
 Swarze Swanen und weisse Raben. 
 
 Seldom have we ever seen 
 
 Black swans or ravens white I ween." 
 
 It bears the signature of the author : Hans Sacks 
 
 * Blessed be the storm which drove thee to my 
 gate ; blessed be this day and hour, and the mother 
 who bore thee, and all and everything dear unto 
 thee ! cried the Bookseller. Lo, it has been the 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 255 
 
 dream of my life to find that play I have seen it 
 in visions, I have prayed for it ; I would have given 
 a finger, an eye, yea, my choicest book to even 
 behold it 
 
 And now it is thine/ replied Flaxius gently. 
 And indeed it was de facto thine own discovery, 
 since thou didst lead me here, and it was in thy 
 possession. 
 
 The old man clasped the manuscript to his heart, 
 and kissed it reverently ; there was silence, save for 
 the pattering of the rain, and anon a thunder peal, 
 which seemed like a joyous salvo fired off in honour of 
 the event. The Bookseller rose with tottering steps. 
 
 I will return anon/ he said. 
 
 He came back, bearing two ancient bottles covered 
 with dust and cobwebs, and two tall, magnificent old 
 glass goblets. 
 
 There is no better wine, and none so old in 
 Nuremberg/ he exclaimed. * I would not have 
 offered it to the emperor ; but, verily, we will 
 carouse therewith vinum bonum et suave Icztificat? 
 
 Gurgle, gluck, gluck ! sang the Wine as it came 
 forth again into the world after a century of slumber. 
 
 1 Hearest thou? cried the old man. * Gluck, 
 gluck! They are words of good omen. This day I 
 have had good luck. 
 
 And he drank solemnly feierlich to his guest. 
 
 The wine/ said Flaxius, as he touched his glass to 
 his host s it was like the ringing of cow- bells heard 
 afar on a mountain side in the Tyrol is like a 
 butterfly long imprisoned as a chrysalis under 
 earth, which now comes forth to shine in light 
 for a brief space the butterfly gladdens the child, 
 and wine gladdens man. 
 
256 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 ( And poetry like that gladdens everybody, cried 
 the host; albeit I confess that I love it best when 
 it is printed in a rare old book. 
 
 What is this? said Flaxius, taking up a little 
 manuscript. 
 
 Truly a quaint thing, a fourteenth-century tran 
 script, or translation of a far older work of earliest 
 German times, the Vision of Baldemar, now lost. 
 It is unique. I pray you accept it as a gift. 
 
 Flaxius would have declined the offer, but the 
 old man, who had inquired the name of his visitor, 
 took a pen and wrote therein in a very ancient, but 
 distinct, hand, which seemed to be uniform and 
 contemporary with the writing of the manuscript 
 itself: 
 
 To the <Moft Learned and Very Honourable 
 
 This Work is prefented with bumbleft c R^egards as a trifling 
 
 Testimonial of inexpressible Qratitude from his 
 
 <ZMoJl devoted Servant 
 
 "EUCUERIVURM 
 
 1 aft mir gefd)affen grofjeS turf; 
 3)od) toenig geb id) ir juriirf: 
 
 tebft u ntir 
 <3d)enf id) Sir 3>a3. 
 
 Great pleasure hast thou made for me 
 <But little I return tbee. 
 Thou givst a lot, 
 I but a jot, 
 
 What a thing, thought Flaxius, it is for man 
 in this life to set his mind on something, and when 
 so setting to make a dead set, cooking all his victuals, 
 as the gypsies say, " adrt yeck Kekavi" in one pot. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 257 
 
 For they hold by tradition the Romany cook-book 
 being as yet unpublished that when all conceivable 
 food is thus boiled it acquires, like Mississippi 
 punch, an additional agreeable flavour with every 
 new ingredient, eggs, carrots, ham, butter, chickens, 
 bread, turnips, honey, hedgehogs, snails, oatcake, 
 rice, herrings, a sucking-pig, mutton-chops, raisins, 
 bacon, cold plum-pudding, cabbage and anything 
 else edible being welcomed to the mixtum-compositum ; 
 which is declared to be so palatable that the author 
 of Rookwood assures us that when Dick Turpin the 
 highwayman first tasted it he actually shed tears 
 of delight. 
 
 * So hath it been with the venerable Bucherwurm 
 Schmoker who hath cast into the one passion of 
 antique literature all the emotions and feelings, 
 hopes and affections of life. I have heard that 
 among the Five Thousand Commandments which 
 were appended by the devil and Society to those 
 of Moses the which I do propose some day to 
 publish there is one which says, " Put not all thy 
 eggs into one basket." But there is great pleasure 
 in breaking commandments, especially when one 
 desires, like the French lady, to make with them an 
 omelette aux confitures ; and there is also great delight 
 in concentrating our feelings, as the devil observed 
 when he saw that the mystics united the excess of 
 piety with that of earthly pleasure. " Cela suffit" 
 quotha. 
 
 * This venerable Schmoker seems to me like the 
 thorn-bush of the poet, of which it would be hard 
 to say how it could ever have been young, it looks 
 so old and grey, like rock or stone all overgrown 
 with lichens to the very top, or thoughts of some 
 
 R 
 
258 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 primeval time which fain would give it all the grime 
 which they have gathered up. Yet underneath this 
 aged thorn there is a lovely hill of moss, wherein 
 are exquisite curling lines and scarlet-orange-tawny- 
 sable-ivory flowers, which, seen with a glass, do to 
 perfection resemble the enlacements and tracery and 
 fancied flowers of an illuminated manuscript ; and 
 therein and therefore do the fairies love to dwell and 
 sit love-making of a moon-lit night. 
 
 And if I think thereon I needs must laugh, re 
 membering that all the world thinks that such an 
 erudite old Dryasdust leads the most arid, infestive, 
 humdrum, prosy life, given to old and long-forgotten 
 things, buried in the rust of antiquity, palaetiology, 
 archaeology, which all, like the Dismal Grove in 
 Tieck s wondrous tale, do but conceal a sunny 
 elfin-land of quaint caprice and merry, wanton joy. 
 As every antiquary and folk-lorist who is anything 
 better than a mechanical maker of tables, and a 
 clipper and collector of variants, well knows. 
 
 Serious, indeed ! Now, an I had time, good 
 people, I would tackle Calvin, Knox, and Chalmers, 
 and Young of the Night Thoughts, and show you 
 what Mephistopheli, what humbugs, what subtle 
 deceivers of self or others, and what mad humorists 
 they all were, and in what Hampton Court mazes 
 they led their followers. For, meaning it or not, it 
 came to that ; and ye who cannot perceive it, think 
 that the partition six feet high, over which ye cannot 
 peep, is the top of heaven s wall. Yea, I repeat : 
 For, meaning it or not, it comes to that ! 
 
 Vale, Corculel Good-night, old Parable, for there 
 is in thee a deeper meaning than men divine. Sleep 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 259 
 
 well, O mirror of ten thousand books, whom I have 
 made happy by adding unto them " one volume 
 more ! " as Dibdin sweetly sang. 
 
 When Flaxius opened the door, it was a bright, 
 full-moon-lit night ; clear and fresh, and gently 
 breezy, gauzy cloudlets flitting now and then before 
 the stars, like transparent veils blowing away or 
 waving before the eyes of Eastern girls. So he 
 went to his dwelling, and the night being young, sat 
 down to read the little book, which ran as follows : 
 
 BALDEMAR S TROUME 
 
 THE VISION OF BALDEMAR 
 
 As in slumber once I lay 
 
 In a wood one summer day, 
 
 All beneath an oaken tree, 
 
 With green leaf-curtain, fair to see ; 
 
 Flowers peeped upward from below 
 
 To the sun as he did go, 
 
 And the drops fresh from the showers 
 
 Looked lovingly upon the flowers, 
 
 Like bright eyes as clear as glass, 
 
 Or diamonds glittering in the grass ; 
 
 And all around from many a bloom 
 
 There came a pleasant, fresh perfume, 
 
 While in the forest all day long, 
 
 Dame Nightingale did tell her song. 1 
 
 By me ran a spring full clear, 
 And it sounded to my ear, 
 With its steady murmuring, 
 Like children who a lesson sing, 
 Or as one who reads alone 
 To himself in single tone ; 
 While the wind in harmony 
 Rustled sweet in every tree. 
 Flies and bees the measure kept 
 All in chorus so I slept. 
 
 1 Vor dem Walde was sin ganc, 
 Da dm naktegale sane. 
 
 Walther von der Vogelweide. 
 
260 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 Now whether I from sleep awoke 
 To life again beneath the oak, 
 Or whether I did deeper sink, 
 In dreams, I know not what to think, 
 Yet this I know that I was there, 
 Where I had been, but in the air ; 
 And all around there was a change, 
 Unto another life and strange, 
 As if one should sleep in spring 
 When all is green and burgeoning ; 
 Then wake in autumn to behold 
 The trees all clad in red and gold ; 
 For other sounds I seemed to hear, 
 Other scents were in the air, 
 Elfin light shone all around, 
 And new herbage on the ground, 
 There full silently had come, 
 As strangers move into a home. 
 
 There I sat but had not known, 
 
 It was on the Wilde Stone 1 
 
 That I had fallen into sleep, 
 
 Since there the elves their watches keep, 
 
 And he who sitteth there an hour 
 
 For all that week is in their power. 
 
 But this secret well I knew, 
 
 And now lived to find it true, 
 
 That the man who passes well 
 
 Into the spirit of the spell, 
 
 Meets with nothing to alarm, 
 
 Nor will come to any harm ; 
 
 Many marvels he may learn, 
 
 Many wondrous things discern, 
 
 If he sleep an hour alone 
 
 In faith upon the Wilde Stone. 
 
 As in silence still I sat, 
 Marvelling in amaze thereat, 
 I soon heard a sudden sound, 
 As of a footstep on the ground, 
 And looking up, there in the wood, 
 A vision fair before me stood : 
 
 1 Der arme Gregorius, 
 Nil beleip er alsus ; 
 Uf dem Wilden Steine, 
 Aller gnaden eine. 
 
 Hartmann von der Aue. 1320. Gregorius. 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 261 
 
 When all at once the forest rang, 
 In chorus all the birdes sang, 
 And wondrous flowers in bright array, 
 Came shooting to the light of day, 1 
 And in all her beauty s sheen 
 Before me stood the fairy queen. 
 
 Thus she spoke : O minstrel dear ! 
 
 Long have I longed to see thee here ! 
 
 For it is in our destiny 
 
 That if not placed in poetry, 
 
 Although we live in lordly state, 
 
 With wealth and power and titles great, 
 
 We ll pass unto oblivion s shame 
 
 Unless some poet notes our name. 
 
 There is more life in one small song 
 
 Than in a century mid the throng, 
 
 With all their work, and war and strife ; 
 
 Song only is eternal life. 
 
 Mid all great deeds too great to last 
 
 Men seek the poems of the past, 
 
 And one sweet lay, as all may see, 
 
 May make an Immortality. 
 
 It may full long forgotten lie, 
 
 Yea sleep for many a century, 
 
 Hidden away in darkling nook, 
 
 Yet be revived in many a book : 
 
 For though states fade and tongues may die, 
 
 There is no death for poetry, 
 
 Since unto it we well may say : 
 
 "A thousand years are as a day," 
 
 Tis God s own voice which, when it spoke, 
 
 In poetry the silence broke : 
 
 To inspiration doth belong, 
 
 And it alone, the power of song. 
 
 Even we who are of fairy kind 
 Are least of all unto it blind, 
 Since all the life which we receive, 
 Legends or lays unto us give. 
 For all of our appointed time 
 Is measured by the poet s rhyme, 
 
 1 Bluomen springent, 
 Vogellen singent, 
 Wlinneclichen schal. 
 
 Leutold von Seven. A.D. 1230. 
 
262 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 Unless we re sung we soon are not, 
 And even our name would be forgot : 
 Therefore to me, O Baldemere ! 
 Thou art indeed of men most dear. 
 Long I have lived in hope to be 
 But mentioned in thy minstrelsy : 
 Even in one line be t low or high, 
 For then I know I ne er can die. 
 
 All had grown silent as she spoke, 
 No sound the forest stillness woke : 
 The nightingales had ceased to sing, 
 The brook had stopped its murmuring, 
 A sudden peace had come to pass 
 Over the wrangling flowers and grass, 1 
 For well I noted all had been 
 Listening with joy unto their queen, 
 With some sweet hope that they might be 
 Included in the poetry : 
 And this I did with love recall, 
 That fairy life is in them all. 
 
 Her voice again the silence broke, 
 And wavering with the sunshine spoke : 
 As it came flickering through the leaves : 
 As broideress her pattern weaves, 
 Singing meanwhile a melody 
 With her design in harmony, 
 And thus she said : * O come with me 
 And thou a wondrous sight shalt see 
 Fit for a song, my Baldemere, 
 If thou canst read its meaning clear, 
 For we must go. I naught could say, 
 So followed as she showed the way. 
 
 Right wild and rugged was the road, 
 Through passes strange, which long we trode : 
 Great rocks above us darkly hung, 
 While peaks like towers o er them sprung, 
 And grim and griesly was the way, 
 Scaping so oft the light of day, 
 We did not seem to climb a steep 
 But rather down in earth to creep, 
 Wherein we heard and time again 
 
 1 Also stritents uf dem Anger 
 Bluomen un de Kle. 
 
 Leutoldvon Seven. (Maienwunder.) 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 263 
 
 The sough of winds, the rush of rain, 
 
 Then wended from a passage cold 
 
 Into a forest grey and old 
 
 Where every tree seemed all alone, 
 
 For they had changed long since to stone ; 
 
 Every leaf and twig was there, 
 
 As if they had been carven fair, 
 
 And all y-wrought in imagery 
 
 As men do work in ivory, 
 
 Making for brides their caskets rare : 
 
 Anon we came unto a stair ; 
 
 Each step whereof was wondrous broad, 
 
 And strangely high. It was with awe 
 
 I asked its meaning, and was told, 
 
 Twas made by giant hands of old. 
 
 Yet up we went, nor did we stop, 
 
 Till we had gained the mountain top, 
 
 Where in the twilight golden brown 
 
 Upon a bench we sate adown. 
 
 Long it was ere I could speak, 
 
 For both my soul and tongue were weak 
 
 With all the wonderful surprise 
 
 At what was spread before my eyes ; 
 
 For never yet in dream or scroll 
 
 Came such a picture to my soul, 
 
 Nor yet in visions told of eld, 
 
 Compared to what I there beheld. 
 
 Straight from our feet like any wall, 
 An awful precipice did fall, 
 Ne er had I thought of one so steep 
 It seemed ten thousand fathoms deep, 
 While down below a valleyed bay 
 Spread beyond vision far away, 
 And the wild waters of that sea 
 Showed all that in eternity, 
 Since earth hath been or Time began, 
 Was ever seen by living man. 
 Rising from darkness into light, 
 Then fading into sheen more bright, 
 A life which was a sparkling spring, 
 And then anon evanishing, 
 For there were forms of women fair, 
 Like ivory then lost in air, 
 Or buried in the billow-caves, 
 As goblins vanish into graves, 
 Strong warriors with stretching arms 
 Pursuing still those wondrous forms, 
 
264 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 Or revelling as at glorious feasts : 
 
 With all were mingled fearful beasts, 
 
 Up-leaping, roaring, rioting, 
 
 Withal full many an idle thing, 
 
 As minstrels carolling their lays, 
 
 And forms of long-forgotten days, 
 
 And dwarfs who dwell in mossy stone, 
 
 And spectres flitting all alone, 
 
 And dead men floating in their shrouds, 
 
 With dragons breathing fiery clouds, 
 
 Blinding all round with ruddy light, 
 
 And then in darkness lost to sight : 
 
 There too were castles, halls, and bowers, 
 
 With wondrous battlements and towers, 
 
 Beyond them others rising high, 
 
 And others still unto the sky, 
 
 With gardens broad and forests fair, 
 
 Yet ever fading into air, 
 
 And fields with fountains interlaid, 
 
 Where troops of merry children played, 
 
 With gentle deer and snow-white lambs, 
 
 And nuns a-singing even-psalms ; 
 
 Fading anon with all the rest, 
 
 Like sun-set clouds into the West : 
 
 On earth there is no thing I ween 
 
 Which in that sea could not be seen, 
 
 All that is common, all that s rare, 
 
 All that is humble or is fair 
 
 With every known or unknown thing, 
 
 Coming to life and vanishing, 
 
 All blending, tending into one, 
 
 As vapours fade before the sun : 
 
 Chasing, embracing, or anon 
 
 In deadly strife, and then agone : 
 
 Therein I felt all that can be 
 
 In Life to all Eternity. 
 
 Long at that wondrous sea I gazed, 
 As one half pleased but more amazed, 
 Till step by step upon my soul 
 There came the feeling of the whole, 
 And then a strange and boundless awe 
 As I conceive d what I saw, 
 Until the thought which seized me there 
 Became too terrible to bear, 
 For what surpasses poetry, 
 I ween is far too much for me : 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 265 
 
 Life hath its limits, and this strife 
 Is far too great for mortal life : 
 A shudder seemed in me to rise, 
 And, over-borne, I closed my eyes 
 When a soft whisper in my ear 
 Said, "Tis enough, O Baldemere ! 
 And as the fairy to me spoke, 
 I started at the word and woke. 
 
 I lay upon the Wilde-Stone, 
 All in the forest and alone, 
 Deep-thinking on the things I d seen, 
 And then I sang, O Fairy Queen ! 
 Thou shalt in deed recorded be 
 By Baldemere in poetry : 
 God grant that this my humble lay, 
 May live in truth for many a day. 
 Would I could give it grace divine ! 
 Not for my honour, but for thine ! 
 
 Haec fabula docet wrote the master, firstly, that 
 there is no earthly immortality like that of Song. 
 Now it is to be noted that in their day and time 
 men give little real heed to any save a very few of 
 the greatest living poets, treating minor bards with 
 a neglect which history clearly shows is most un 
 deserved. For the vitality of even fourth-class poetry 
 is marvellous. It is recovered and reprinted 
 centuries after it has been forgotten by all. What 
 scholar is there who when raking over piles of 
 fifteenth-century, theological, legal, and even his 
 torical rubbish, which will only sell for waste-paper, 
 has not been charmed at finding in it O happy 
 man ! a book of ballads, or even of poetry of any 
 kind ? Tis little thought upon, this life of song. 
 There s not one poet of the present day, however 
 small his art and weak his lay, who hath not better 
 chance to live for aye, and speak at times to some 
 congenial soul than any other fancied famous man. 
 
266 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 There is many a small being ay, more than 
 any dream who will live like a fly in amber, merely 
 because he has known, conversed with, and thereby 
 identified himself with some poet, so small that even 
 the fly did not know that the other had ever rhymed 
 at all. It is little to the credit of any civilised 
 country that it can excessively honour and envy and 
 glorify an Upper Ten, or Twenty Thousand in Great 
 Britain, or a Four Hundred in America, and not 
 include in the number more than a dozen poets. If 
 people cared more for poetry they would enlarge 
 the number, for there are in very truth some 
 hundreds cruelly ignored all sneering critics to the 
 contrary. 
 
 He is an evil being, to me, who would belittle, 
 crush, or condemn almost any poetry whatever. For 
 even in the very mediocre, where there has been 
 inspiration and love, there is a gleam as of something 
 divine, which I must needs reverence. Truly, in 
 deed, the muse may have been only a very small 
 fairy, elf, or goblin, or even a witch, but it has a 
 spark of the supernatural or occult ; treat it tenderly 
 therefore, as something born with mystic powers ! 
 
 And there is also a lesson in the Bookseller 
 himself, which, rightly read and widely understood, 
 would do good in the world. There are thousands 
 of people who would fain travel into foreign lands 
 and see strange people, when there are all around 
 them in life men far more marvellous than Turks 
 or Indians, or beings well-nigh as queer as goblins. 
 They go about silently like shadows in a kind of 
 twilight of society, living in a fourth dimension, 
 enjoying senses all unknown to us, hearing sounds 
 which never reach our ears, lit by a light which 
 
FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 267 
 
 never cheered our eyes. Such are the collectors and 
 readers, like this old man, who steep their very hearts 
 of hearts in the feelings of the past, and give to 
 every thought that chiaroscuro of the romance of 
 age which is the final beauty of art. It is one of 
 the sarcasms of truth that such a Dryasdust, who 
 has become among fools the very type and symbol 
 of common-place dulness, is in reality all the time 
 in a fairyland too fine for the Philistine with his 
 great horny eyes to even perceive ; for he in a black- 
 letter book feels with exquisite sympathy all that 
 romance which was in all life in an earlier age, feels 
 it directly and in itself, while another only gets a 
 coarse burlesque or imitation of it from novels, plays, 
 and Lord-Mayor-Shows of poems. 
 
 There are very few in this world who feel or even 
 understand in reality this spirit in which the Book 
 seller has his being, more s the pity ! for it brings a 
 great deal of happiness to the possessor. Hand in 
 hand with it, like a twin, goes the fairy of Collect 
 ing. This spirit too is far misunderstood. He who, 
 having got together more money than he can spend, 
 ridicules the collector of postage-stamps or buttons 
 is like the lunatic in Hogarth s picture, laughing at 
 his like. They are all, one or the other, inspired 
 by what the gambler-scholar Pascasius Justus called 
 the insatiabilis Jiabendi libido, similis ventriculi magnce 
 voracitatis, the unsatiable desire of possession, which 
 is like a gnawing, ceaseless hunger, the which, as 
 he adds, may do no harm if it be properly supplied 
 with good food. The delight of the collector is in 
 renewing certain pleasant feelings which he ex 
 perienced before, which some think is nine-tenths 
 of the pleasure of love, or of intoxication, or any- 
 
268 FLAXIUS AND THE BOOKSELLER 
 
 thing else ; and that in very truth man is man 
 because he has more memory and passion than any 
 other animal, and more ganglion. Nay, there have 
 been rakes and Don Juans who found their chief 
 pleasure, not in pleasure, but in accumulating con 
 quests, that is, by collecting, by adding to the list 
 which some pitiful Leporello bears. 
 
 Now, as Collecting is a human-animal instinct (as 
 is shown by the raven, magpie, and other creatures), 
 and love and religion and art were nothing more in 
 their beginnings, it may be that as we improve, it 
 too may be developed to a holy thing or a great 
 institution ; for in it lies the secret of history and 
 of folk-lore and of preservation of relics ; which will 
 be clear to ye all when ye read my great work on 
 the science of collecting in all its branches. 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 * What I was is passed by, 
 What I am away doth fly, 
 What I shall be none do see, 
 Yet in that my beauties be. Old Epitaph. 
 
 I KNOW not to what land or region strange the 
 immortal Magian betook himself, after this century 
 had reached its end and tumbled over Time s great 
 precipice. All that I know is this, that it was in 
 some realm within the realm of shadowed sense, 
 where he forgot the stars, the moon, and sun ; where 
 he forgot the blue above the trees ; where he forgot 
 the dells where water runs ; where he forgot the 
 chilly autumn breeze ; where he forgot there had 
 been newspapers or stocks or pigeon-shoots at Hur- 
 lingham, or wondrous things at the Aquarium, or 
 Piccadilly or the Savile Club yea, all of earth 
 and what there is of life most useful, beautiful, 
 aesthetical all this had vanished like the lightest 
 dream. 
 
 Now whether he had dipped a while in Dis, to talk 
 with Pluto, whom he much admired, or sailed to 
 some celestial violet star, to exercise strange senses 
 here unknown, expanding in the fourth di-men-si-on, 
 this is certain, that it was about the time when the 
 Twentieth century had attained its majority of two 
 thousand, Flaxius found himself again on earth, 
 
270 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 suddenly dropped from some supernal height or 
 upward shot from the great world below. 
 
 . . . Seated on a very comfortable bench under 
 the lee of the Great Wall of China in a remote 
 corner of Manchuria, he was not there a minute 
 ere he realised that remarkable, not to say radical, 
 changes had swept over the face of the whole world 
 since his evanishment. 
 
 For he observed, firstly, that the Great Wall, which 
 he had last seen in a most dilapidated, eroded, 
 crumbled, and top-worn state of oxidation and 
 moss-grown rustiness, was now, so far as he could 
 behold and it wound like a serpent up and 
 down rolling hills, and over tremendous rocks for 
 half a century of miles, till it vanished in an invisible, 
 grey thread completely restored as if by contract, 
 all its ancient towers being likewise correctly 
 renewed, as if by some Chinese Gilbert Scott. At 
 its base, at the rate of about one to the acre, were 
 bungalows of graceful construction, but all without 
 chimneys, 1 rising from tufted groves and gardened 
 plains, in whose architecture the old Chinese style 
 seemed curiously mingled with other influences. A 
 very striking feature indeed was that of many 
 colossal towers, about a mile one from the other ; 
 every one, as Flaxius estimated, being about one 
 thousand feet in height. 
 
 Hearing a rustling sound hard by, he, looking up, 
 perceived a man alighting from what he at once 
 understood was a flying-machine. It had come un 
 seen and noiselessly as an owl, whence, as Flaxius 
 
 1 Since this chapter was written I have observed that a great 
 prophet, \V. W. Astor, the author of Looking Backwards, noticed 
 this same want of chimneys in the future. 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 271 
 
 divined, it had proceeded with incredible speed. 
 The new-comer, who seemed to be about thirty years 
 of age, was a man of attractive countenance, manly, 
 and evidently intelligent, altogether the right sort 
 of man for the right sort to meet. He was clad in 
 a graceful, but extremely practical garb of some 
 material new even to the Sage. As for nationality, 
 he was certainly European, and probably English, 
 but his first greeting to the Immortal was in a 
 singular jargon, which appeared to be based upon 
 the Pidgin, once dear to Flaxius in bygone years. 
 
 1 Come sta, my flin ? What one-piecey man you 
 be ? My no savvy you no he te jamas visto never 
 look-see you before one-time, allo my life-o ! 
 
 I understand you, replied Flaxius ; but I also 
 speak English/ 
 
 Oh, of course, replied the stranger with a genial 
 smile, only a fellow gets so into the habit of 
 pidgining ; it comes from flying about 
 
 Naturally, observed Flaxius. 
 
 The stranger darted at him a quick glance, and 
 then looked about anxiously, as if fearful that some 
 one had overheard them, observing in a hurried, low 
 tone : 
 
 * I say, don t do that again. Joking s against the 
 law, you know. 
 
 I did not know it/ replied Flaxius. * But why 
 are you so much astonished at not knowing me? 
 
 Because/ replied the stranger, I cannot recall 
 ever meeting anybody in all my life whom I had not 
 seen before. You know how it is nowadays, when 
 everybody goes flying about, and all the world is 
 acquainted. And as you are evidently a superior 
 sort of person, I am indeed utterly amazed at not 
 
272 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 knowing you, because I would have sworn that from 
 China to Peru there was not one gentleman with 
 whom I was not, I may say, intimate. 
 
 But you must count your acquaintances by 
 millions^ replied Flaxius. 
 
 * Certainly/ answered the stranger gravely. I 
 know nine hundred and eighty-four million, seven 
 hundred and fifty-eight thousand, four hundred and 
 twenty-eight men and women by face and name. 
 Since the new system of accretive memorising has 
 come in, and the whole world has got mixed up, 
 and keeps mixing, everybody knows everybody. 
 
 And does everybody now know everything? 
 inquired Flaxius, as nearly astonished as he had 
 ever been during the whole course of his long and 
 well-spent life. 
 
 Well, among all the whiter people of age, I 
 think it may be fairly asserted that every grown-up 
 person knows all that man has ever known. Of 
 course, only the most advanced scientists and 
 deducers are really well acquainted with the know 
 ledge of the future. But who, in the name of the 
 Prima Materia, are you, who put such incomprehen 
 sibly odd questions? 
 
 I have been, replied Flaxius, * out of the world 
 for a century, and am utterly ignorant of all that has 
 taken place during that time. 
 
 The stranger did not seem to doubt the assertion, 
 nor to be much astonished, as he merely remarked : 
 
 I have heard there were a few of the very far 
 advanced who could do that, and you look like one 
 of them. And I suppose, of course, they keep it a 
 secret. So if you wish it, I will say nothing to any 
 body. Now to know what has been doing since you 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 273 
 
 left, is a long story. Do you know where to lodge 
 to-night? 
 
 No, replied Flaxius, * unless it be a la belle etoile! 
 
 We can sleep in any of these bungalows, replied 
 the stranger. I have coupons entitling us to rooms 
 and food, and medical attendance, and social atten 
 tions, anywhere in the world. 
 
 I have plenty of gold money, observed Flaxius. 
 
 Money I exclaimed the stranger, as if astonished. 
 Well, certainly, money can be exchanged for 
 coupons, and coins are rising rapidly in value for 
 collections and museums. But coupons, issued in 
 all cities, pass current all the world over at par. But 
 let us get to our quarters and I will tell you the rest ! 
 
 He invited Flaxius to enter the machine, in which 
 there was room for two, and a trunk, with some com 
 fortable wrappings. Then as he turned a handle 
 they shot off, upward and onward like the wind. As 
 they flew, they overtook two other aerevolantes like 
 their own, when Flaxius s friend, exclaiming, Good 
 fellows, good luck ! ignited several small coloured 
 squibs or minute rockets it had by this time grown 
 dark which were responded to by a single red spark 
 from each. 
 
 * I invited them to meet an interesting stranger 
 whom I have just discovered, remarked the stranger 
 with a laugh. My name is Oakford, he added, 
 and it is Pidgined into Oakforto. Yours f Flaxius. 
 That will become Flasio or Flaso. Ah ! here we 
 are! 
 
 He stopped at a large and somewhat singular, 
 though pretty house, before which sat in a garden 
 at tables several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen, 
 of a somewhat Eurasian appearance. An elderly 
 
 S 
 
274 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 woman examined the coupons which Oakford pre 
 sented. 
 
 Take double/ he remarked. I want extra food. 
 This is a distinguished man of science. 
 
 Hearing this, the landlady and all the rest present 
 rose and bowed low to Flaxius. But with all their 
 politeness it was evident that they were utterly 
 amazed, which Oakford explained by saying : 
 
 They have all travelled so much that they never 
 saw a stranger before in all their lives. 
 
 Now, for a paradox I call that a good one, re 
 flected Flaxius. That at least remains in the world. 
 
 May I mention the fact that you have been 
 absent from the world for a century ? inquired 
 Oakford of the Sage. These are all gentlemen 
 and ladies that is, well-educated and of strict 
 principles. 
 
 * Certainly, replied Flaxius. 
 
 ( This, my dear friends, then resumed Oakford, * is 
 a scientist and philosopher of the very highest rank, 
 since he has been absent from the world for more 
 than a century. As you are all aware, only one 
 among many millions ever achieves such extra 
 ordinary power, and from it you can draw your own 
 conclusions. 
 
 The party, which had been augmented by the 
 arrival of two additional gentlemen with ladies, all 
 gazed at Flaxius with an expression of such 
 sympathetic intelligence as he had rarely met among 
 mortals in the earlier time, and then, approaching 
 him very reverently, bowed and worshipped, each 
 addressing him a short prayer, after which the sage, 
 perceiving that a benediction was hoped for, gave it 
 with impressive feeling, to their very great satisfaction. 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 275 
 
 You must understand, explained Oakford, that 
 the religion which now prevails is, that the Creative 
 Force manifests itself in the ascending series of 
 ideals, and most perfectly in Man ; therefore we 
 worship him in one another, but chiefly in the 
 advanced scientist, since it is to the power in him 
 that we are chiefly indebted for inventions, and 
 all that does us any good. 
 
 Ah! exclaimed Flaxius, you have somewhat 
 changed religion as it was a century ago. Then, 
 men chiefly worshipped, firstly, themselves, and, 
 secondly, Politicians, who, instead of doing any 
 good to anybody, made all the devil s own mischief 
 they could in every way, and were all the more 
 admired for it. 
 
 You speak of the Devil, remarked Oakford. It 
 must have been curious to live in the world when 
 people believed in such a being, and thought they 
 saw his influence manifest in all things. 
 
 H m ! quoth the sage. If you have succeeded 
 in getting the devil entirely out of everything, and 
 removed all traces of his existence, I will say this 
 for you, that you have more than realised my 
 greatest expectations and fondest hopes. 
 
 Nay, we have only got rid of the initial D ; but 
 that is the first step. By scientifically supplying 
 natural wants and discouraging the development of 
 needless ones, we have very much extinguished the 
 worst forms of selfishness. 
 
 Ah, that initial D ! said Flaxius. The 
 Dee- -! 
 
 "There was a jolly miller 
 Lived by the river Dee, 
 Who sang, As I care for nobody, 
 Then nobody cares for me ! " 
 
276 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 I grant that evil still remains in many a form/ 
 resumed Oakford ; but science and philanthropy 
 have combined to a degree which would once have 
 been deemed incredible (being supplied with all 
 the power which mankind could contribute, to in 
 vestigate and extinguish it). The vast interest 
 which all mankind took a century ago in the idle 
 squabbling of windy politicians, that is in mere 
 factional, silly quarrels about nothing, or human 
 cock-fighting in oratory, has been supplanted, owing 
 to the ascendency of the man of science, by a general 
 and serious interest in what really concerns our 
 earthly welfare. Perhaps we have not accomplished 
 so much as you may have anticipated, but to this 
 we have really come : increased liberalism has so far 
 diminished prejudices, that the world has pretty well 
 agreed as to what it really wants, first of all. 
 
 A tremendous progress, interpolated Flaxius. 
 It is nine-tenths of the battle won. To know what 
 we want is almost equivalent to having all we need. 
 
 Well, let us toilette and then refresh ! said Oak- 
 ford. Here is your room. If you want anything, 
 press the button, and speak. 
 
 And then the servant will come to receive orders? 
 
 No ; for you must first form in your own mind an 
 image, by volitional pseudophia that is depicting 
 by will and this image is, with your voice, con 
 veyed to the chambermaid. Thus you want two 
 silk towels, you close your eyes, form their image, 
 and order. The maid touches the button, closes her 
 eyes, beholds two silk towels, and brings them. 
 Some men of science in fact, I can do it myself, to 
 a certain extent make the towels for themselves at 
 once out of the atmosphere, by a peculiar mental. 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 277 
 
 physiological process, but the less expert prefer the 
 maid. 
 
 H m ! quoth Flaxius, as a very lady-like, pretty 
 damsel appeared. I should think, indeed, that with 
 many travellers the volitional physiological effort 
 would be chiefly exerted in that direction. 
 
 The position of servant in a house specially 
 frequented by men of science/ pursued Oakford, is 
 regarded as a great honour, and only conferred on 
 highly-educated and deserving persons. This young 
 lady, he continued, * is the only daughter of the cele 
 brated Kien-Long-na,who first converted rose-leaves 
 into butterflies, he being, indeed, a leader among the 
 mighty minds who broke away the barrier between 
 organic or inorganic creative chemistry, and proved 
 that living creatures could be made in the laboratory. 
 It is even said that he has actually succeeded in 
 making a human child, but as regards that, his 
 daughter, here, can give you better information. 
 
 This was said with the utmost gravity, and the 
 lady chambermaid responded quite as seriously, but 
 with interest. 
 
 * Yes ; it is true, he has established the fact beyond 
 all question that it can be done, by sub-etherising 
 protoplasm, even in the fourth grade, but I must 
 admit that the specimens of work which he has thus 
 far produced are not remarkably creditable to his 
 skill, nor very attractive. 
 
 * Now, if I had heard that a century ago, mused 
 Flaxius, I should have taken the liberty to deny 
 it, but I suppose that science has even extinguished 
 Frenchmen by this time. By Nemesis! I would 
 like to know what this chambermaid thinks when 
 she turns over if she ever does specimens of 
 
278 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 what constituted nine-tenths of the reading of young 
 ladies at the end of the last century ; or what she 
 thinks, if she indeed stoops to think, of those who 
 revelled in it, or supplied it ! Holy Science ! thou 
 hast indeed taken a great deal of fun out of life, 
 but thou hast outbalanced the loss with abundant, 
 honest decency ! 
 
 I must explain to you, also, said Oakford, though 
 you doubtless surmise it, that such positions are 
 in request, because it is only in a comparatively few 
 great families, or establishments, that servants are 
 kept at all, since scientific appliances now enable 
 people to do everything for themselves. Waiting 
 has become a refined and elegant accomplishment, 
 which can only be properly filled by ladies of 
 superior education. In fact, it is very mortifying to 
 a girl to have it said of her that she is always seen 
 as a guest, and never as a waiter. It enables a 
 young lady to see society and the world, and 
 become more intimately acquainted with people 
 of intellect. 
 
 The supper, or evening refreshment, did not 
 surprise Flaxius as a novelty, because it was pre 
 cisely the same as that which he had enjoyed during 
 his visit to the God of Ancient Days, and on other 
 transcendental occasions. It consisted simply of a 
 cake to each guest with a bottle of what for want 
 of a better term I may call wine. Both, however, 
 were the very perfection of food and drink. 
 
 Turning to the assembled company, Oakford 
 said : 
 
 I propose, my friends, to give to our distinguished 
 guest some account of what changes have taken 
 place in the world as regards food, since he last 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 279 
 
 honoured this planet by residing in it, and will be 
 pleased if you would kindly aid me in so doing. 
 To begin with, I think I may broadly state that 
 chemistry, as the word was understood, completed 
 its first stage, or that of Analysis, about a hundred 
 years ago, and then began to attempt Synthesis, or 
 the combination of the elements. 
 
 It was at the same time, remarked the waiting- 
 maid, that the elements were reduced to one. 
 
 Quite right. One of the first results of Synthesis 
 was to make not only metals but all kinds of sub 
 stances, including every variety of food. For a 
 long time men persisted as many of the less 
 educated still do in liking only imitations of what 
 they had preferred in earlier ages, such as meat and 
 fish, or certain vegetables and fruits. I myself have 
 several times eaten mutton-chops, and once a 
 roasted chicken, and, I think, I once ate a pea. 
 
 ( History repeats itself, mused Flaxius. 
 
 But in a very short time good palatable food 
 was produced so cheaply, and in such immense 
 quantities, that finally every human being was 
 supplied for nothing with a daily ration ; it being 
 now the fundamental law that all who are born are 
 entitled to food, lodging, clothes, and facilities for 
 mental improvement and recreation. 
 
 * Did not this have the effect of creating a vast 
 mass of idlers? inquired Flaxius. 
 
 My dear Master, remarked one of those present, 
 you will probably have conjectured that during 
 the past century history has been made more 
 rapidly, and the world has passed through more 
 important changes than it had during all its earlier 
 period of warfare and theology, with incoherent, 
 
28o FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 spasmodic, or despairing struggles. We have had 
 terrible trials, and as yet are only beginning to 
 realise what we have still to do. In fact I often 
 think that we have thus far done almost next to 
 nothing, with all our science, and that the one great 
 glory of this our century is that we have reduced a 
 chaos to something like order, and have produced a 
 mere beginning from which those who are to succeed 
 us may proceed with something like union and 
 mutual intelligence. 
 
 There was a general murmur of approbation at 
 these words, when Oakford again spoke : 
 
 There was much idleness and more discontent 
 than ever, more complaining over dainty food, than 
 there ever had been during famines wherein thousands 
 died of starvation ; the reason being that those who 
 were the most intelligent and industrious could still 
 earn more than others and feed better. But man 
 is really after all a working animal, and as the 
 grosser and more intolerable kinds of labour were 
 relieved by mechanical invention, and agriculture 
 and raising animals gave way to artificial food, and 
 education and culture advanced, great changes and 
 improvements came about. And though, as I truly 
 said, we are far from being out of all these social 
 troubles, we think we see our way out, and have in 
 the main succeeded in conquering those horrible 
 pests of poverty, dirt, disease and social discontent, 
 which once raged so terribly when you were formerly 
 in the world. Even at the end of the Nineteenth 
 century, when there was such a sad period of 
 pessimism and doubt and despair, and such warring 
 elements of labour and capital and religion and 
 politics, men had done great and good work, it 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 281 
 
 would seem as if by mere instinct to do good. Ay, 
 it brought forth Evolution. 
 
 1 And Evolution, which had been conceived and 
 born, as one may say, by the Natur -philosophic of 
 Germany, was warmed to new life or re-born in 
 England by the genius of Darwin, Wallace and 
 their supporters. From the beginning, it in turn 
 developed science, and science, technical art. One 
 of the first great inventions which followed the era 
 of synthesis in chemistry was this production of 
 artificial food in vast quantities at a very cheap 
 rate. When attention was drawn to this, chemists 
 soon found out how to vary its texture or substance. 
 
 That is to say, remarked one present, * that it 
 was made like meat or bread or vegetables to suit 
 association of tastes. After a time this association 
 greatly diminished ; but it was discarded with great 
 difficulty. People are so conservative as regards 
 food and taste, and so convinced that what they are 
 not accustomed to is unnatural and vile, that it rose 
 to the magnitude of a great national, or rather 
 world, question. But after a while the artificial food 
 became so palpably superior to the natural, both as 
 to taste and uniform wholesomeness, that the former 
 had to give way. Now the poorest man has by 
 legal right a daily ration of food, such as a king 
 would have relished in the old time. 
 
 Then came another invention, which was simple 
 enough, yet which had great results. It was the 
 production of cloth fabrics of all kinds, in incredible 
 quantity, very rapidly and at a very trifling cost. 
 
 That sounds to me, replied Flaxius, like what 
 Tennyson called " a fairy tale of science." There 
 was a story in the olden time in Florence that a 
 
282 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 brownie or household goblin once served in a 
 family, where he did all the work swept the rooms, 
 cooked the dinner and played with the children for 
 nothing. 
 
 That I suppose/ remarked the waiting-maid, 
 illustrates the earlier or theistic stage of society, and 
 a Divine Providence/ 
 
 Ahem! coughed Flaxius. Well, the goblin 
 was greatly loved by the eldest boy, Marco, who, 
 observing that his elfin friend had only a red cap 
 and a tattered and very scanty shirt for apparel, 
 had made and gave to him a full suit of red velvet. 
 Whereupon the goblin declared that as he was now 
 a fine gentleman, and had dreed his weird or served 
 his time out, he would work no more/ 
 
 I see/ quoth the chambermaid. That was the 
 Church after it had attained to violet robes and gold 
 croziers with jewelled mitres, and ceased to be useful. 
 
 Urn ! Well, the goblin ere departing gave Marco 
 a stick, assuring him that whenever he would say 
 to it, " Stick, turn, risvolge ! " or " Unroll ! " it would 
 unroll cloth, velvet, lace, or any stuff, to any extent. 
 And by means of it, Marco fulfilled a government 
 contract, and supplied all the clothing for the Papal 
 army in less than a quarter of an hour, besides 
 dressing up all his friends in purple and fine linen, 
 ad infinitum! 
 
 There was a laugh at this, and Oakford said : 
 
 That story would not astonish any child of this 
 generation, for we can really roll out cloth with as 
 great rapidity. What is to me utterly incom 
 prehensible, is that people who knew enough to 
 make even such simple toys as steam-engines and 
 telephones, did not begin long before by making 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 283 
 
 cheap cloth. In fact I am astonished that the man 
 who had the wit to make that tale had not the 
 sense to learn from it how it could be done. Why, 
 the very roller suggests the whole. For even then 
 men knew how to make paper by the mile, and also 
 felt, and the step from these to fibrous and cloth- 
 like stuffs was extremely simple. However it 
 really required the great discovery of making 
 fibrine, which followed immediately after that of the 
 nature, identity and relative conditions of inorganic 
 and organic substance. After that, people spun all 
 kinds of fibre out of anything. Now clothing, like 
 food, is supplied from the government manufactory 
 gratis to everybody ; the result having been to 
 destroy the vanity of dress or ostentation of mere 
 clothing, for now that gold and diamonds are cheap, 
 and everything can be made, we have very different 
 ambitions. 
 
 * Perhaps the greatest factor in producing our 
 present state of society has been Aerostation by 
 flying-machines. The first were so rudely constructed 
 that it is said that every other man who used one 
 lost his life by it. This proved to be such an 
 extraordinary attraction to Americans that they all 
 went in like lunatics for flying. They flew races, 
 and fought duels in the air, and roamed all over the 
 earth in machines, in which no man now living 
 would dare to go a rod. We have specimens of 
 them in our museums, and I have seen bold aeronauts 
 stand before them almost mute with horror. Even 
 so Columbus ventured over the Atlantic in a crazy 
 little craft. Ah, Master Flaxius, you must have 
 seen awful deeds in your time, and marvellously 
 bold men who had no fear of death or suffering. 
 
284 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 Yet pray observe, friend, he continued, that we 
 do not travel so much to behold scenery or man as 
 men did of old. For now, he who sits in his study 
 can see all things on earth and hear all distant 
 sounds by telegraph ; in which art we are making 
 every day new discoveries, even to dispensing with 
 wires, and seeing all the world while we sit still. 
 
 I can hardly believe, remarked a lady present, 
 that there ever were people who dared to travel 
 night and day in steamboats, much more in loco 
 motive-trains. My blood almost curdles when I 
 think of such reckless, fiendish courage ! But, I dare 
 say, she added after a pause, it was only the madly- 
 brave, like the Berserkers of an early age, who 
 really did such things out of bravado. Master/ 
 she suddenly exclaimed, did you ever see a loco 
 motive? 
 
 * Truly, exclaimed Flaxius, * I travelled in my 
 time during nearly a century many thousands of 
 miles in such trains, with ladies as gentle as your 
 self, to say nothing of innumerable maids and 
 children, but none of us ever imagined that we were 
 doing anything remarkably brave. But I believe, 
 he added, c that any of my companions would have 
 been terrified at the idea of flying through the air 
 like sky-rockets as you do. 
 
 Ah ! exclaimed the waiting-maid, but that is a 
 very different thing. 
 
 Ah, h m ! mused Flaxius. Women with all 
 their science still retain certain traces of their 
 primeval savage logic or nature. 
 
 After the first stages, resumed Oakford, when 
 the flying-machine was very much improved, and 
 made very cheap, it was at first terribly abused. 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 285 
 
 Thieves pounced down like hawks on property, and 
 with the vehicle to carry two or three, an era of 
 abduction and elopements with women began. Then 
 there was organised a grand World Detective Flying 
 Association, which pursued thieves into the very 
 depths of Greenland, or Thibet, or anywhere else ; the 
 result being that in the end the dangerous classes were 
 almost extirpated. For when they became dangerous 
 to everybody, instead of to a few, there was a general 
 war on them. 
 
 And the abductions and elopements? inquired 
 the Sage. 
 
 * Well, Society found itself obliged to compro 
 mise a little on that question, which I must freely 
 admit is in rather a dubious condition even at the 
 present day. While the rights of persons and 
 things to immunity from attack are more strictly 
 observed than ever, it has in due proportion been 
 discovered that conventional and sentimental rights 
 or wrongs disappear with great rapidity among 
 cosmopolites, and that the emancipated woman 
 claims the same privileges as man. Still, on the 
 whole, from all that I have learned in books, we 
 get on far more peaceably and pleasantly than you 
 did in the days of duels and divorce-courts, and all 
 that. When people have nothing to do but fly 
 away like birds in order to part, divorce becomes 
 too easy, and so they end by pairing like birds. 
 Those who have a turn for a kind of domestic life 
 and families and they are in a great majority 
 follow it ; and those who have not, do pretty much 
 as they like, and are left alone unnoticed. Society 
 gladly takes care of all the foundlings very good 
 care indeed and it is a fact that while there was 
 
286 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 at first a very great increase in the number of such 
 children they are now diminishing very rapidly. 
 
 About ten per cent, per annum, remarked a 
 lady. 
 
 And last year nine and four-sevenths diminution, 
 added the waiting-girl. 
 
 As you have observed, said Oakford, the flying- 
 machine has led to an universal lingua-franca or 
 pidgin English ; and this has induced perhaps 
 millions to speak good English. The old nations 
 are breaking up and diminishing so rapidly that 
 millions really belong nowhere. If a man is too 
 warm any day anywhere he mounts his flyer, and 
 can in most cases be, in an hour, on a mountain 
 or by the sea, or vice versa. Whatever his calling 
 is, he can find employment enough to pay his bill 
 in any city. There is no mountain so high, no 
 valley so deep, that you will not find some house 
 of entertainment or shelter there. War is unknown, 
 armies and navies have vanished before cosmo 
 politanism ; the Frenchman has found to his amaze 
 ment that he is not precisely the leader, type, and 
 ideal of all culture, intellect, and intelligence on 
 earth ; the American no longer passes most of his 
 time in informing every one how much grander, more 
 beautiful, and in every way superior, everything is 
 in Amuraca or Amaraca to everything everywhere 
 else in fact, he has ceased to talk about himself 
 and his country altogether, because everybody has 
 been there. In like manner, the English, the 
 German officers and nobility, the Spanish, the pro 
 vincial gentry of Italy, the niggers of Barbadoes 
 and Sierra Leone, the Jews, and Irish have all slowly 
 abandoned the opinion that they are God s special 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 287 
 
 favourites and the fine fleur of creation, put into this 
 world solely to convince everybody else how de 
 graded they are in comparison with themselves. 
 There is no use in nations annexing other countries 
 nobody cares where he belongs ; the only binding 
 laws are those of society, or mutual agreement, and 
 as the latter grow in force, those of nations and 
 creeds and circles vanish. Even the home does not 
 exist for millions. 
 
 "And now our dream of science is to pass 
 In mental vision over all the world, 
 Seeing and knowing all, for we have found 
 New senses in mankind which still reveal 
 New qualities, conditions, and ideas, 
 And myriad beings who inhabit space, 
 Whom men of old divined in feverish dreams. 
 And as we are, there is no spot on earth 
 Unknown unto its humblest habitant, 
 While lenses quite perfected now reveal 
 The smallest secrets of the starry world ; 
 And yet we deem that we have little won, 
 But in bold hope keep ever pushing on." 
 
 You will probably be very much struck/ remarked 
 another of the company, with two very general 
 facts as you come to see the world as it is. Firstly, 
 the great improvement which has resulted from 
 advanced hygiene, sanitary laws, and physical culture. 
 Even a century ago men had begun to discover 
 that cleanliness meant life and health, and that at 
 the end of the reign of Queen Victoria the average 
 of life was more than one-third greater than it 
 had been a century before. Now, the death-rate 
 in the most unhealthy parts of Europe is only three 
 in a thousand, and there is great complaint as to 
 that. 
 
 It is to be noted, added Oakford, c that it was 
 
288 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 not till about 1920 that the great question arose as 
 to whether politics, or action on public questions, 
 should be a mere matter of faction, like Guelf 
 against Ghibelline, Red versus Green, Big Endian 
 contra Little Endian, in which people sacrificed every 
 thing to see their public men take the place of the 
 ancient prize-fighters and quarrel. People began to 
 weary of Grand Old Gladiators, controversialists, 
 co-rivals, and champions of all kinds, and said it 
 was time that measures took the place of men. In 
 fine, the principle became a party with the motto, 
 " A plague o both your houses," and the end was 
 the substitution of questions of practical utility for 
 " politics," diplomacy, foreign quarrels, and court- 
 intrigues. 
 
 When this principle was once adopted, it became 
 a burning question, and was acted on with great 
 energy. When people awoke to the fact that they 
 had really been fooling themselves more than they 
 had been fooled by their leaders, and that they them 
 selves were really the government, if they did but 
 know it, men of science and of action, yes, men 
 of great, vigorous, and practical minds, nurtured in 
 evolution and true principles of history and sociology, 
 sprung up like a race of giants and extinguished the 
 talking politicians and mere scholars. It was per 
 haps the turning-point in History itself, and to us 
 it ranks even above the Reformation in Germany 
 and the Emancipation in America, for it was the 
 substitution of the practical human interests of all 
 for the idle power and ostentation of a few. 
 
 1 Then it was that the accumulations of capital 
 made by a few, or by syndicates and trusts, were 
 transferred to governments for the use of the 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 289 
 
 people, so that it seemed providential that they 
 had acted as they did. 
 
 It is wonderful that at the end of the nineteenth 
 century when these and a hundred other causes had 
 clearly begun to work, so few foresaw to what they 
 would lead. Men did not note that the immense 
 accumulation of capital and rapidly increasing ease 
 of making money would inevitably transfer it all 
 to government and revolutionise society. " It will 
 not come in our time," was the cry. They did not 
 realise, either, the great law that population dim 
 inishes and improves in proportion to culture, and 
 least of all did they comprehend the unity and 
 tendency of all this with improved sanitary reforms, 
 education, transit by air, and free food and clothing, 
 with less hard work, or gross labour. Indeed, until 
 these advances had been made, they could not be 
 co-ordinated, yet it is in that that the very life of 
 society and progress lies. 
 
 * Among the first great public measures which 
 took the place of mere words, such as Conservative 
 and Liberal or Republican and Democratic, was that 
 of health and cleanliness, which at once led to 
 gentler humanity and abhorrence of cruelty, both 
 as regarded men and animals. Men became at first 
 intolerant as regarded seeing others suffer from 
 poverty, and finally detested pain in every form. 
 I dare say that you can recall much which would 
 now seem incredible to the greatest brute now 
 living. 
 
 Truly, I can/ replied Flaxius. There was a 
 very good sort of man named Alexis of Piedmont, 
 who wrote a book of quaint odds and ends of 
 amusement, in which he gave a recipe how a goose 
 
 T 
 
2QO FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 could be roasted alive. It was very ingenious 
 indeed, but cruel to the last degree of torture, and 
 it ended with these words, " Then take it from the 
 fire and serve it up, and though roasted it will still 
 be living, and will cry out loud while it is being 
 carved, which is a very merry thing to behold." It 
 was republished in many books for generations 
 after. And in fact there was a great deal of amuse 
 ment at the very end of the nineteenth century, 
 much patronised by the very elite of society which 
 was very little worse than this. Bulls were literally 
 tortured to death in Paris in imitation of Spanish 
 sport, gentlemen were present at prize fights, ladies 
 at pigeon shooting ; and, perhaps, no day passed 
 in which some magistrate did not let some wretch 
 guilty of horrible and infamous cruelty to children 
 or women escape with ten shillings fine, or a few 
 days imprisonment. Even a man guilty of cruelties, 
 very far surpassing anything ever told of Red 
 Indians or inquisitors, or torturers of the Middle 
 Ages I say this advisedly cruelties wickeder than 
 a thousand murders, was after public trial only sen 
 tenced to ten years imprisonment ! And the general 
 manner in which such things were treated was to 
 smile complacently and say, "Ah, yes, but a little 
 roughness and knocking about makes us manly." 
 Under the same impression there survived in society, 
 among the most refined people, a vast amount of 
 covert satire, innuendo, vexation by assuming 
 superiority, sneers in short, the vileness of building 
 self up on the abasement of others, as one may see 
 in half the humorous pictures setting forth the 
 coarse fun of the time. Torture by the peine forte 
 et dure was not abolished by law in England till 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 291 
 
 the year 1823 or thereabout. Yet all this did not 
 make people braver or more manly. It crushed and 
 frightened the weak, or the majority ; it developed 
 bullying, and it drove the would-be dignified into 
 reserve, hauteur and coldness, which was all in fact 
 only a masque for mean cowardice and vanity. Yet 
 there were with all this certain curious antitheses, 
 not without great beauty, which I apprehend you 
 have now quite lost. There was, in the cruellest 
 ages, the Madonna - like saintly meekness and 
 innocence, yea, purity, which I apprehend has now 
 taken very different form or vanished. There was a 
 romance and personal character in it all, which, I 
 suppose, is now unknown to you. 
 
 It is true that we have lost immensely since we 
 have been guided solely by science and common- 
 sense and utility, remarked an elderly man who 
 had not before spoken. We have lost much of 
 domestic life or home-feeling, and as I infer from 
 what I heard from old people in my youth, and 
 extensive study of ancient books, we have no longer 
 the sweet and genial ideals or inspirations of art and 
 faith, poetry and humour, which once fired the 
 world. They have all sunk to the level of very 
 inferior races and children, who, indeed, are rapidly 
 growing ashamed of them. But then we have gained 
 what compensates for it all a thousand-fold. We are 
 no longer sentimental or despairing or pessimistic, 
 nor is the poison of soft sorrow in our every cup, and 
 in every kiss. In fact, if a man of a hundred years 
 ago were among us now he would probably decide 
 that we do not know what love is ; and to judge from 
 the poems and novels of the olden time, I should 
 say that it is decidedly lucky that we do not ; for 
 
292 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 such a mass of misery, philandering, caprices, 
 quarrels, tears, and agonies, as men anciently went 
 through with, according to their romances, before 
 they could accomplish the extremely simple and 
 prosaic end of marriage or similar union passes 
 all comprehension, suggesting a mixture of hell and 
 lunacy. Add to this, that, with all their "beautiful 
 poetry " and genial humour, every biography of the 
 time shows us lives steeped in a deep consciousness 
 of woe and suffering, with so little mitigation of it, 
 according to their own deepest convictions, that one 
 must needs see very plainly that they paid a fearful 
 price for all their delightful, domestic affections and 
 devoted loves of one fond heart, for their home 
 circles and piety and fine art of all sorts. Yes, an 
 awful price, not worth the whistle. We at least do 
 not wail and howl, and sing and pray. When any 
 thing is wrong with us we go to the doctor, and if he 
 says we are all right, we get on the flying-machine, 
 and skim over the seas, and mountains. When we 
 are not busied with science, or practical matters, we 
 are engaged in taking our recreation, and between 
 the two we have really no time for sentiment of any 
 kind/ 
 
 * I observe, replied Flaxius, * that you are rapidly 
 losing, or have entirely lost, home-ties, domestic 
 feelings, the warm attachment to a native land, or 
 patriotism, devotion to a church or religion, with all 
 the ancient form or spirit of art and poetry in fact 
 nearly all that once was supposed to form all that a 
 man ought to live for, including the ideal of self or 
 character. But with it you have lost their terrible 
 sorrows ; and you have gained stupendously more 
 than you have lost in a grand philanthropy which 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 293 
 
 the men of the past regarded as mere moonshine, or 
 Utopian. Everything in its time. Every man is 
 your friend now no one your enemy quarrelling 
 is bad form, for it is unscientific. I see in you the 
 beginning of an entirely new race of beings. You 
 are neither happy nor unhappy, as those words were 
 once understood in short you would have been 
 utterly incomprehensible to everybody a hundred 
 years ago. But they would in the end have feared 
 you like giants, and vanished before you as the Red 
 Indian is crushed morally by the white man. 
 Therefore you are great, and I, a man of the ages, 
 tremble to think what awful, what stupendous, power 
 you are destined to attain. You will master every 
 law of nature, and conquer death and the grave, 
 space and time. What were the greatest glories of 
 art and the highest flights of poetry or genius are 
 already beginning to appear to you as frivolous and 
 rococo, because they were founded on false or 
 vanished unrealities, while you are pressing forward 
 into such a realisation of the real in all its immensity 
 as it never entered into the heart of man to conceive. 
 Ye are already dreaming of doing nay, ye have in 
 part done what Homer of old would not have 
 dared attribute to the gods. Ye take unto your 
 selves wings, and are in the earliest rosy dawn, even 
 in the depths of ocean ye are there. Ye spin forth 
 gold or pearl or diamond from the air, as ye will, 
 when ye will, or will soon do so. It is as easy now to 
 create and combine atoms as to breathe ; to build a 
 towered castle is easier and cheaper than it was to 
 construct a cottage of yore. And it is all but the 
 beginning of the beginnings of the very rudiments 
 compared to what is to come. You will read with 
 
294 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 perfected lenses the minutest secrets of all the stars, 
 discover new senses, and through them new orders of 
 existence not now perceptible to man. And with 
 every new discovery will come ten more daring 
 dreams of others, far, far beyond it, and they will 
 also be realised. In such illimitable achievements 
 man must pass so far beyond all old conceptions 
 of every kind that all will shrivel up and vanish. 
 Terribly grand wilt thou be, O Humanity of the 
 future ! 
 
 There was a pause, when the eldest one again 
 spoke. 
 
 Thou hast understood us. Humanity has hitherto 
 been in its boyhood, pleased with its pretty toys and 
 fancies, indulging in passion or despair at every 
 trifle. Now it is advancing to eternal manhood, and 
 growing serious, which means more truly happy. 
 It is leaving the paternal home, and all petty ties 
 and beliefs, and going out into the world to do and 
 dare. In the past lay the fabled, infinite power of 
 the gods ; in the future lies the illimitable might 
 of man. What man has never done, man can do, is 
 the motto of the future. 
 
 Then the waiting-maid spoke more gaily : 
 
 But to prove to our guest that art has not as yet 
 quite left the world, and that we still retain some 
 trace of old-fashioned entertainment, I propose that 
 Master Oakford, who is an expert in hypnotising, 
 give us all a pleasant drama, with magnificent 
 scenery and dresses, so that we may all have some 
 thing cheerful in our memories before we retire to 
 rest. 
 
 This proposal met with general approbation, and 
 Master Oakford explained it to Flaxius as follows : 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 295 
 
 ( You must know that we now have spectacles, 
 theatrical entertainments, operas, and exhibitions of 
 the most varied description, for all the world, at no 
 expense whatever. In every family there is some 
 one who is the special hypnotiser, and in larger 
 assemblies masters on a greater scale. These 
 masters of whom I am one store their memories 
 with all that can conduce to entertainment. Then 
 we keep by us, or, indeed, generally find in every 
 house, an infinite amount of music, songs, speeches, 
 or dialogues, such as were once recorded on tinfoil, 
 but which are now kept imperishable on a new and 
 better material. 
 
 When the performance begins, I hypnotise all 
 present ; impressing it on their minds that they are 
 about to see a certain spectacle, and that they are to 
 vividly behold certain scenery or persons. By this 
 method, and the aid of phonographs and monologue, 
 I give them a very perfect entertainment. Pray 
 note two things : one is, that I will them to 
 vividly remember all that they have seen, when they 
 awake ; secondly, that the art of understanding, and 
 of enjoying such plays, is very much improved with 
 practice. 
 
 Much of this, remarked Flaxius, was known to 
 the Egyptian Chaldaean and Etruscan priests of 
 yore, and it perished with them, or lingered in 
 broken fragments among witches and sorcerers. I 
 know so much of it that you need not hypnotise me, 
 who am, indeed, master of the art, but I will most 
 gladly enter into sympathetic perception with both 
 the actor and the audience. 
 
 Those present sat in a semi-circle, and by unani 
 mous request, Oakford was requested to give Shake- 
 
296 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 speare s play of Macbeth. It was only necessary for 
 Flaxius to take the hand of one of the auditors in 
 his own it chanced to be that of the pretty waiting- 
 maid to close his eyes, and bring his perception 
 into mutual sympathy with hers, which is a peculiarly 
 delicate, cerebral, voltaic, volitional, vital act, and 
 the condition for enjoying the play was complete. 
 Then the pretty waiting-maid who, as has been 
 already intimated, was also a distinguished chemico- 
 physiolobiologiste retired within her inner con 
 sciousness, but with one hand so to speak on the 
 door of that department of her memory which was 
 labelled Macbeth (Shakespeare, English), ready to 
 let out the imprisoned images. That is, she went 
 into hypnotic sleep, to see the things which eye 
 could not behold. 
 
 All present were apparently insensible. Soon 
 Flaxius heard the softest, strangest sound, which 
 rose to a grand peal of exquisite music ; and then, 
 trembling, sunk and quivered into a strange, half- 
 fearful, half-fantastic, witch melody, like a forest 
 through which flitted at intervals ever and anon 
 inaudible or lost a wild, yet exquisite waltz a 
 butterfly in a thunder-cloud. Meanwhile, there was 
 perceptible all around a gradually developing, rising, 
 and spreading scenery of barren moors, with en 
 circling rocks and mountains, vast trees waving in 
 the wailing wind a torrent. And with it all there 
 was an indescribable, mental, general impression, 
 apart from what was seen or heard, as of another 
 mighty wind, or spiritual opium, disposing the 
 beholder unto fascination. 
 
 * I have beheld many a magnificent mise en scene] 
 reflected Flaxius, but never anything like this. It 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 297 
 
 would have been an art-wonder of the world a 
 century ago, and it is only a mere family-charade 
 and a game of puss-in-the-corner or proverb, for 
 people now. They have mastered art beyond our 
 wildest dreams only to despise it ! 
 
 Then the play went on, improving at every pace, 
 as Oakford became inspired, rising in grandeur and 
 beauty, impressiveness, and the subtle sorcery of 
 more than mere skill. The music became a 
 marvellous opera of accompaniment in no excess, 
 yet mighty in effect, while the scenery was that of 
 nature in her grandest or most enchanting moods. 
 Best of all was the acting, in which the auditor 
 seemed unto himself to be the one who spoke and so 
 it rolled on to an end. With a final finely accentuated, 
 biological-cardiac pressure of the hand such as in 
 earlier ages would have ignorantly described as a 
 fond squeeze the pretty waiting-maid awoke. 
 
 You are a great artist/ said Flaxius to Oakford. 
 
 So, so. I am far from being first or even great. 
 Nor is it considered any great accomplishment 
 among educated people nowadays to give such 
 games in such style. It is only our child s play, O 
 Master, just as the performances of Thespius sank in 
 later ages to the level of the mob, though they had 
 improved in quality. And you now understand, 
 that while we understand and practise art a hundred 
 times better than our ancestors did, we do not esteem 
 it at one hundredth the part of its ancient value. 
 
 ( I understand/ said Flaxius. 
 
 Go to Rome or Greece/ pursued Oakford, and 
 you will see the Colosseum, and Forum and 
 Parthenon, and all the most celebrated buildings of 
 antiquity restored in all their beauty, but even the 
 
298 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 school-children now regard them as mere curiosities, 
 illustrations of a barbarous past pretty enough in 
 their small, naive way but mere savage trifles com 
 pared to the works of science ; why, we could now 
 do in a week all that Egypt built or unbuilt in six 
 thousand years. And we have the fullest, deepest 
 secret of their art, too the very spirit of its spirit 
 and don t think so very much of it either. Ah ! 
 you nineteenth century men wrote an awful lot of 
 rubbish, which they called Criticism. After it died 
 out, art began again travelling a long way after 
 science, it is true but ages in advance of where it 
 had gone before. All of the Ruskins and Taines of 
 the last century look to us like ants toiling over 
 lumps of sugar, which they believed were mountains. 
 Very industrious ants they were, and good judges of 
 white sugar, too ; but not of real Alps or Himalayas 
 of eternal snow. 
 
 * Truly, observed Flaxius, there were a few even 
 in their own time who began to suspect that human 
 genius was not quite exhausted in the Renaissance, 
 and also that there was better nutriment for man 
 than the confectionery of pictures, or the iced-cake 
 of a Milan Cathedral. All very fine, very fine in 
 deed for weddings and Christmas-trees, tempi passati. 
 Well, as nature is an artist, I suspect that art after 
 all has only begun afresh, on a grander scale than 
 ever. 
 
 Haecfabula docetj wrote Flaxius, as usual on the 
 proof, that all mankind are pretty generally mis 
 taken in believing that certain habits, prejudices, 
 customs, usages, modes, and ideas, in or according to 
 which they and their fathers grew up, are eternal 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 299 
 
 and innate laws of human nature never to be re 
 moved. For all things may be taken out of us, even 
 conceit, by the cork-screw of time or the air-pump 
 of science ; and it is the most marvellous manifesta 
 tion of the age that none foresee what a tremendous 
 pop and what a stupendous out-flowing of the cham 
 pagne of genius there will be when the stopple 
 shall be drawn from the final end or mouth of this 
 century bottle ! 
 
 "It will not come in my time," said a young 
 savant to me in the last generation when I told 
 him that ere long cities would be lit by gas. " Tis 
 all very fine, and perhaps possible, but we shall not 
 live to see it." And within five years after, the city 
 wherein he spake was illuminated as I had pre 
 dicted. Friends, the child is born unto whom, ere 
 death, naught which I have here written will seem 
 strange, for he will have seen the better part, or 
 enough to make a proof, with his own eyes. Ye 
 may more safely say that a piece of wax can never 
 be moulded into a certain form than declare what 
 man or society will never be ; but what is most 
 wondrous of all in that which I predict, is that the 
 spirit of the change is coming soon even as a French 
 Revolution comes so suddenly upon those in power, 
 and who are the most learned in the signs of the 
 times, that they have not time to move their office 
 furniture. For the salts are all in solution, the 
 liquid will hold no more, and ere long a voice or a 
 book will precipitate the vast and brilliant crystals 
 by sound or shock. 
 
 For that is to be for which Jesus Christ most 
 ardently longed, and which is the one great theme 
 of the New Testament, that a time will come when 
 
300 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 patriotism, the tenderest ties of home, the form and 
 letter of formalised religion, the great distinctions 
 between poverty and wealth, yea every harsher, 
 oppressive, conventional law which is per se useless 
 shall disappear in a grand cosmopolitan altruism, at 
 the very name of which time-serving, petty fools 
 now jibe and titter, even as they sneered in ancient 
 Rome at the new Christianity, which is now coming 
 again in the dazzling, all-glorious, white cloud of 
 science. Let them laugh that will, and exalt their 
 old idols, crying that there is this and that which 
 man will never do. " Upharsin is writ on the 
 wall." 
 
 * Woe unto the false prophets who give tips for 
 races, be they on horses or politicians or religion 
 tis all one for both the horse and the demagogue 
 are doomed to pass away. 
 
 Woe unto those who live in the trash and rot 
 and folly of gossip and fashion, for their memory 
 will stink in the ages to come. 
 
 Woe unto the Jew and the Yankee, the Greek 
 and Parsee, the Englishman and Dutchman, the great 
 former of trusts and syndicates, yea, the promoter 
 and swindler, be he who he may, for in the great 
 future history of iniquity his name will not be 
 forgotten. 
 
 1 Woe unto you who shall struggle in the last 
 hour to maintain your cracked and decayed old 
 creeds and worn-out fads, screaming that " they all 
 agree perfectly with science, which was sent to 
 support and prove them." 
 
 Yea, woe to the old Jerusalem which stoned the 
 prophets, for there shall not be left one stone upon 
 another of all her ancient temples, gambling-dens, 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 301 
 
 policy-offices, stock-exchanges, lupanars or society- 
 newspapers, in human form or literal. 
 
 Woe unto Jerusalem ; and, finally, woe unto my 
 self! For I, too, with all my small writing will be 
 whirled away with the rest, down the back entry of 
 Time into the gutter of semi-forgetfulness, to be 
 carried away into the River of Oblivion. And 
 rightly too; for how would any of us of the present 
 day seem among the glorious ones who are to come ? 
 Verily, as a great divine once said of sinners or 
 dissenters in heaven, we should " look like pigs in 
 a parlour." Therefore let us all go in peace and 
 be thankful that there will be far better than we 
 are to succeed us ! 
 
 But, " if not impossible it is only possible, at 
 least it will not come in our time," cries all the world, 
 when science foretells these reforms of the future. 
 Here I am reminded of what was once written by Paul 
 Feval, a muddled romanticist, who, however, in his 
 dunghill of rubbish had at times a pearl, and he said, 
 when speaking of steam as applied to boats and 
 railway trains : 
 
 4 "It took many years before that learned and 
 illustrious body, the Admiralty la marine de Uetat 
 took into consideration that force which repelled the 
 wind, and laughed at the strength of currents. It is 
 true that at the same time the Academy professed 
 the opinion that a velocity of ten leagues an hour 
 on a railroad would stifle respiration in a man and 
 kill all who would risk it. Yet it would be foolish 
 to blame our marine or our academics for this for 
 le monde est ainsi fail such is the world. Every 
 progress afflicts some interest or irritates some 
 vanity. 
 
302 FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 
 
 "Ancient wisdom said, * If you doubt, consider 
 carefully. Modern wisdom cries, If you do not 
 understand, then hinder \ Can we ever enumerate 
 the men and ideas put to death in the name of the 
 idiotic phantom whom sages call IMPROBABILITY? 
 
 1 " Horace said that the man must have had a heart 
 triply clad with bronze who first on a frail plank 
 dared all the terrors of a raging stream. It is 
 admirably true. Add to it that the sages of his 
 time would have abused that man with all their 
 might. 
 
 * "And yet in every age those men so wise still 
 cast themselves in vain before the path on which 
 humanity was bound to pass, for spite their spite 
 humanity marched on. Improbability, grotesque 
 scarecrow as it was, recoiled with its fogs before 
 the light. Miracles, once declared impossible, are 
 now seen undisturbed in every street. It was only 
 forty years ago, and now you may find men living 
 on their shares whose hands once tried to stop 
 the march of steam. . . . And if another marvel 
 should arise they would laugh at and abuse it, cry 
 ing, Cela ne se pent pas, it is impossible. . . . To say 
 now that anything is impossible, a man should have 
 not only a heart shielded by triple bronze, but the 
 tenfold skin of a jackass." 
 
 * And we should consider all this when any one 
 now dreams of the future, for the true age of ease has 
 only just begun. Certain chemical discoveries made 
 of late years have drawn from all intelligent men 
 of science the opinion that we are advancing very 
 rapidly indeed to a cheap, wholesale production of 
 all scents and flavours in perfection. This means 
 very cheap food of every taste to suit, or the enjoy- 
 
FLAXIUS IN THE FUTURE 303 
 
 ment of all delicacies mere imagination or associa 
 tion being set aside. Herein all consequences being 
 considered is something stupendous, since enjoy 
 ment of taste in food is one of the greatest factors 
 in life, and a great stimulant to industry. When 
 this shall be somewhat relieved, industry will be 
 more at leisure and liberty to devote itself to higher 
 things. " It may be that the Chinaman of the 
 future will run the machines which the Aryan will 
 invent " 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 * She came in her beauty bright as day, 
 To where in his sleep her true knight lay. 
 She held in her small and light-bright hand 
 A plaything, a brilliant moon-gold band ; 
 She wound it about his hair and her own, 
 Still singing the while, "We two are one." 
 All round them the world lay poor and dim, 
 Aloft in her glory she rose with him. 
 They stood in a garden fair and bright, 
 The angels do call it " Land of Light." 
 
 Aslauga s Knight, by La Mottc Fouqut. 
 
 WHEN time had worn away long centuries, and 
 a sweet spirit, more subdued and soft, had breathed 
 a deeper love and gentleness into the heart of man, 
 as culture grew, and ruder errors had been cast aside 
 among traditions of the suffering ages, Flaxius sat 
 alone before the rocky palace, far away in the 
 remotest recesses of the Northern Apennines. It 
 was a blest and fairy-hallowed spot, where, in the 
 stillness of the golden eve, amid the rustling leaves 
 and dewy grass, he heard the solo or the chorus 
 sweet of airy voices locked in unison, faint, far-off, 
 near, deep, solemn, gay or sweet, as if serenading the 
 rising stars, as they came one by one to the windows 
 of heaven. 
 
 But it nowise disturbed his reverie, for he was 
 reviewing, as he had seldom done, all his life. He 
 had a stupendous memory, and an all-embracing 
 
 304 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 305 
 
 perception, with an immense power of concentration 
 of mental force, such as will some day be taught in 
 schools, when men shall be wise enough to examine 
 and seek into truths set before them, instead 
 of manifesting their petty vanity by ridicule. As 
 with the spirit of a recent dream, while all its forms 
 still freshly haunt the soul, the great life-pageant 
 swept before his eyes : dark forms, forgotten for long 
 centuries to man, nor seen in art nor sketched in 
 song, a living stream of shadows strange and fair, and 
 images of great world-ruling men, and sages who 
 had made deep laws of life, and sent their power like 
 an endless thrill, beyond them far into eternity ! 
 
 It was to be, yet it is wonderful, thought the 
 Sage, c and, perhaps, to me the more in wonder sweet, 
 since these fair forms that in long order glide, still 
 growing fairer as the world goes on, were dimly and 
 yet long ago foreseen. True, inductive prophecy 
 began with science ; evolution first taught man how 
 to evolve by a deeper logic than had e er been 
 known to schoolmen, or the mere psychologist, 
 what was to come. None the less wonderful to one 
 who sees how a blind force with time has worked 
 itself into a wondrous thinking Deity ! 
 
 And the Deity, Flaxius ? said a sweet voice, in 
 which there was the echo of a smile. 
 
 The Fairy Albinia was beside him. 
 
 And the Deity ? How dost thou behold it ? 
 
 What it will be is far beyond my view. I know 
 it was not even what it is. God grows with all that 
 God may greater be, and awful is the mighty law of 
 growth. I know not why it is that all must grow, 
 because it is a law unto itself, and slow, indeed, our 
 growth is unto it. 
 
 U 
 
306 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 4 But in what form dost thou behold it now ? 
 I see it now in man and in what science shows 
 how man will see it in the time to come is now 
 full surely all unknown to man. 
 
 * And how didst thou discover God in man ? 
 
 c Even as Plato saw it in the ideal, which is the 
 very soul and counterpart of the most real science. 
 May I speak ? 
 
 * Yes, speak ; I feel my soul now speaks in thine. 
 All nature types, said Flaxius, in ideals. None 
 
 ever yet beheld a perfect rose, yet seeing many 
 roses, we infer what a true rose may be. So in all 
 things, for nature never took a single form, be it 
 beautiful or base, which had not an ideal never won. 
 And of all things, there never was a form which in 
 itself united the ideals as we behold them in the 
 higher Man. 
 
 For, indeed, in the rose or in all flowers, or in 
 aught else, there is no colour so beautiful as the 
 living hue of a fair human being. Apart from senti 
 ment of love, the artist knows that that is the hardest 
 of all hues to win. And again, as regards form, 
 no animal or plant, or aught that lives, combines 
 such perfect outline, strength and grace, converging 
 ever into an ideal. No wonder that many have 
 committed the error of looking to art more than to 
 nature, when we reflect how the artist feels this 
 marvellous truth. 
 
 And, therefore, it was well in its time, Flaxius, 
 that men worshipped art, since it made them work 
 unconsciously to a great end. 
 
 * Yes, it was well and glorious in its time , replied 
 Flaxius. Now it is rising to a higher aim. But to 
 resume. There is no sound so sweet, no power of 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 307 
 
 modulation in all conceivable variety as is found 
 in the human voice, for it can breathe all passions, 
 fears, and every phase of thought. I say even 
 thought, though men class music with emotion 
 only. But to a higher sense all utterance is music 
 given in a million forms. Yes, man is the ideal of all 
 ideals combined, and ever tends to unite them in him 
 self, even by the common law which forms them all. 
 This, then, my Flaxius, the Fairy said, forms 
 a new law, that man shall gradually draw towards 
 man as he perceives this truth. What is religion ? 
 
 * Religion/ replied Flaxius, is the sense of a 
 higher Power on which we must rely, even as the 
 child looks to the parent, who is its ideal of all pro 
 tection and authority. To this is added wont or 
 habit fixed, which runs to second nature ; therefore 
 man forms his tradition, and adheres to it long after 
 he has learned that other men are greater than the 
 parents ; and this is the history of every creed on 
 earth. 
 
 c And so the form still takes the place of truth, 
 yet still a form is indispensable. 
 
 Yes, it must be, because in forms we live, said 
 Flaxius slowly. A wondrous truth which leads to 
 constant war. Strange is the history of the ancient 
 forms which one by one the world has cast aside. 
 Therefore the Egyptians typified the Holy Ghost, or 
 the all-pervading Spirit of Life, as a serpent which 
 annually casts its skin, and is renewed in brighter 
 hues. 
 
 And man must have a form to worship or incar 
 nate the Power which he adores. 
 
 * Ay, and it is to that which I would come. The 
 Hebrews worshipped God in a fixed law, sternly 
 
3 o8 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 expressed, a law immutable, and this they had 
 incarnate in a Book. This was their form from which 
 they jealously excluded every trace of human shape. 
 Because twas written that no living man could ever 
 see the real form of God, they worshipped God s 
 great voice ; that is to say, the echo of it as expressed 
 in law. Therefore when prophets spoke no more on 
 earth they still retained a kind of fairy faith that 
 the Bath Kol or echo of the Voice was heard at 
 times in a consecrated arch I think twas in the 
 Temple. Now tis still. It was all the conception 
 of Hebrew nature incarnate in an ideal man whom 
 they called Jehovah. 
 
 * Then came the Greeks who personified nature in 
 all her forms, and represented every passion or feel 
 ing as a deity. They saw God in statues, and felt 
 religion in art ideals. Something they lost in 
 vigorous, early strength, but gained a thousand 
 fold in thought and grace. They made a progress 
 toward ideal man. 
 
 And out of all a new religion grew, replied the 
 Fairy in her sweetest voice, which was as far beyond 
 the Greek ideal as that had been beyond the 
 Hebrew law. 
 
 Yes, answered Flaxius in earnest tone, * and 
 could the real spirit of Christianity, as Christ meant 
 it, have been combined with Greek art and percep 
 tion of natural beauty as the poor young Emperor 
 Julian desired have been realised, the world might 
 have seen a wonderful religion. But twas all for 
 the best, as now I truly see. As fast as islands 
 raised their sunny peaks above the blue sea, and 
 grew green and beautiful, there came the barbarians 
 in multitudes to settle on them in early times the 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 309 
 
 Hun and Visigoth, in later days the negro and 
 Chinese struggling on, struggling ever, sweeping 
 on ; and yet true culture gained upon it all. 
 
 And thou see st also, Flaxius, said the Fairy, 
 that had the Julian religion triumphed, man might 
 have lived so long in sweet content of art and love 
 and pure humility, and all the softness of his gentle 
 ness, that vigour might have died and strength been 
 gone. Progress needs strife. 
 
 Ay, and more than that/ added Flaxius. Those 
 barbarian struggles gave the strength to man which 
 was needed to create science, which in due time 
 raised up a higher art, and then revived the Christian 
 dream of love in altruism fed with greater force. It 
 all led to nobler ideals. 
 * And religion ? 
 
 Religion from awe and fear became love mingled 
 with reverence reverence before the mighty Mystery 
 of Power hidden in Man himself. After the Greek 
 worship of statues came the picture-worship of the 
 Renaissance, and then another age of confusion, 
 and the warring of new elements and the death of 
 the old art. 
 
 Now the ideal is in Man himself; and the world, 
 instead of books or statues or pictures, cultivates 
 humanity, and sees Divinity in itself in a new ideal. 
 This is the most advanced exponent of the Mystery 
 of Power. Even of old, when any man loved, he 
 began by making the utmost of the loved one, or 
 the pair did so mutually ; it is touching to read in 
 every fond romance, and every poem of the ancient 
 times, in myriads of novels and letters, how they all 
 began with the elements of true worship. Each 
 hoped to find in the other something which would 
 
3io THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 ennoble, transfigure them to another or a higher life ; 
 and they were in the right, and in all cases it might 
 have been, had they known how to persevere in it ; 
 but outer influences were too strong, while their per 
 ception of the truth was weak. 
 
 What is the power of the vast Unknown which 
 circles through all space and gives us life, or how it 
 lives in us or what it is a spirit or a force which 
 gives itself unto itself, a consciousness in us^-is a 
 great mystery beyond our ken. But this we have 
 learned after long centuries, that he who wills can 
 win so much of it by ever striving unto pure ideals, 
 and pressing steadfastly unto the great, that he can 
 win himself tremendous power, aided therein by 
 love and mutual will. 
 
 * Now art thou coming to the highest truth. 
 Ay, such a truth as hath no counterpart : for if 
 two people love in very truth, seeing in one another 
 the highest ideal of the will or the possible power 
 of becoming what they will, and each strives in all 
 things to be perfect to the other then will they 
 worship God in very truth. For if thou canst main 
 tain in me high self-respect and I in thee, we make a 
 wondrous power in ourselves, which well maintained 
 may rise to miracle. For this I do believe in very 
 truth, that love alone can make our souls divine, 
 and when we do believe in very truth, that we are 
 the ideal form of God or holy pictures of the highest 
 power, or living laws or Bibles, and if we do carry 
 out the laws therein expressed, it is in us to win 
 such wondrous might as magic claimed in ages long 
 gone by. For this we need no other higher aid 
 than mutual love and will, which well maintained 
 will raise us ever to a nobler life. 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 311 
 
 All men who love live in a fairy-land, and all 
 who will may aye remain in it, if they will make 
 their love the law of life, believing truly that they 
 are divine, or growing in divinity and hope. 
 
 * And they who believe in very truth and faith, that 
 each is holy that the Almighty Power, though but a 
 spark, dwells in them, and that it may grow into a 
 flame, and hold to this as they perhaps have held 
 to some old creed or tattered form which never 
 held a truth will know what tis to be divine. 
 
 ( Yet now and then we all have transient views 
 when standing by the rushing flood of life, that 
 there is in it force and light unknown ; " those eddying 
 balls of foam, those arrowy gleams, that o er the 
 pavement of the surging streams welter and flash " 
 are glimpses of the truth which, understood, might 
 give new life to thee. 
 
 I do not say that this can only be between a 
 man and a woman when they love, because if we 
 believe that all mankind do form the arch-ideals of the 
 world that is by more or less as they are formed 
 then I can see how step by step all men will become 
 links in this true golden chain the aurea catena of 
 which of yore Pythagoras once dreamed, the chain 
 which binds the highest with the lowest all in one. 
 
 * So have I loved thee, O my golden one, since 
 the old days of the Etruscan age, so shall I love 
 thee through eternity; while different, we were yet 
 ever one in truth, and ever nearing as the time 
 went on. 
 
 * And now my heart is filled with earth, and I 
 have seen it to its glorious heritage and know twill 
 soon be heaven ; therefore I, my mission ended and 
 my task complete, will join thee in thy life and 
 
312 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 never part. I know that heaven is in love and 
 thee. 
 
 And as he said this word the Fairy smiled and 
 wound her arms about him, and a light as of a 
 rainbow of the brightest hues, blended with music, 
 quaint and wildly sweet the spirit of the dream of 
 olden time came over them and hid them from my 
 sight ; but when it vanished both of them were 
 gone, and Flaxius was seen on earth no more. 
 
 But what of God? asked the Fairy as they sat 
 in Elf Elysium amid shadows of perfumed foliage, 
 by dancing rivulets, where all was like the best and 
 most beautiful on earth, rising to higher and more 
 glorious form. For thou hast shown how by love 
 and finding ideals in one another, we can refine and 
 exalt our nature ; yet that is not religion. 
 
 * I will tell thee what I believed on earth, answered 
 the Sage, and I think I shall not change my faith, 
 though I rise far beyond this life of beauty. 
 
 * When men believed in spirit and matter, as 
 separate, all was confusion and void ; and the wisest 
 went unwittingly wandering about from error to 
 error like lost souls, seeking in eternal darkness one 
 mocking ignis fatuus after the other. Then after 
 years of study I perceived that all must be matter 
 alone, visible to my senses it is true, but also refined 
 in infinite forms beyond all human, sensual or 
 sensitive perception. For all that poets and super- 
 naturalists have ever imagined spirit to be, is outdone 
 in fineness by what science is boldly suggesting and 
 proving. 
 
 As there are in nature extraordinary or extravagant 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 313 
 
 exaggerations of the powers of the senses, as is seen in 
 vultures, which can perceive a small object a hundred 
 miles away, so there are as likely other senses not 
 known to man, other dimensions which he cannot 
 understand, and forms of matter which he cannot 
 perceive by "sense." This is no idle conjecture. 
 Every new experiment in a laboratory, every dis 
 covery, makes it more probable. A few years ago, 
 or within sixty years, man seemed to be in blind 
 ignorance, comparing what he then knew with what 
 he has learned. This is even more evident from 
 the revelations of hitherto unknown forces, the fact 
 that light is not per se, but the impression made on 
 us. Therefore there may be worlds unseen in 
 infinite number and series, and existences or intelli 
 gences of incalculable or infinite power. There may 
 be a God, whose existence has a reason for being, 
 according to Materialism, but none whatever in a 
 spiritual a priori faith, founded on and supported 
 only by mere tradition. 
 
 But what does man know in full or in truth ? 
 If we take the simplest problem in nature the 
 sprouting of a bean. All the wisdom of all time 
 cannot explain why it is that it grows up a bean-vine 
 through the ages, ever renewing itself. To suppose 
 that there are infinite millions of concentrated vines 
 or germs in every bean is absurd, or, if true, it only 
 increases the marvel. Therefore, an idea or subject 
 once formed must be the coalescence of certain 
 forms of matter with certain laws, according to 
 which certain material is attracted or thrown off 
 for ever, like being drawn to like. But oh, how 
 infinitely beyond human knowledge or perception is 
 the fulness of this least of natural problems ! 
 
314 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 * And there are millions of creations, deeper and 
 deeper, all calling forth in every phase admiration 
 for the infinite ingenuity and adaptation which are 
 revealed in every creation. Observe the ant, which 
 by instinct alone, as we call it, can execute tasks 
 and problems in architecture a thousand times more 
 difficult than any which man has ever achieved. 
 What it all means is this : that beyond and out of 
 our small mental system, with its distinctions 
 between understanding and reason and self-con 
 sciousness and " I am " which is all much more 
 mechanical and akin to atavism and mere instinct 
 than we imagine there is a stupendous power of 
 creation, with an infinite amount of what we gladly 
 call thought or mind, when we develop a similar 
 ingenuity. And, in fact, it is amusing, that men 
 who consider that a very little discovery of the laws 
 of nature is the greatest proof of their having 
 intellect, should doubt that intellect, of a kind 
 unknown to us, is the creator of it all. 
 
 4 Now what exists in the realms unknown to sense 
 no one can say, but that there are intelligences who 
 exert ingenuity and power in creation is palpable 
 enough, as the bean proves ; therefore a series of 
 beings and gods, or a God, is an inevitable deduction. 
 
 It is also proved by science, that the human will 
 can be so incredibly developed by a certain training 
 and discipline, within the reach of all, and very 
 easy, that we may control our tempers, our desires, or 
 increase our determination, to a miraculous extent. 1 
 This, too, is all a result of modern physical science, 
 or " mere materialism," and it has done more to 
 
 1 Vide Have you a Strong Will, etc., by Charles Godfrey Leland. 
 London : Philip Wellby. 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 315 
 
 establish pure morality and a well-based belief in 
 God than all that psychology ever imagined. For 
 like the rational faith in God, it is a direct result 
 of evolution. 
 
 The result of the two deductions is, that direct 
 ing the developed will towards God with all our heart, 
 or towards love, in sincerity and zeal, we arrive at 
 all true religion and possible happiness. For the pure 
 will, independent and free, and marvellous in power, 
 must co-exist with Altruism, which is the kernel of 
 Christianity. Love God and man. For to be free, 
 we must co-ordinate with moral law, and what 
 this is, we learn by the experience of life, every 
 man according to his measure and allowance. We 
 should all do well enough, if we all did as well as 
 we could, never minding the quibbles of would-be 
 law-givers. 
 
 4 All magic, and what man regards as spiritual or 
 transcendental learning and theosophy and soul- 
 wisdom, is embraced in perfect belief in and reliance 
 on God, and action of our developed will. All that 
 mystics and theosophists have written amounts to 
 no more than this : Believe in God and in thine own 
 will, aided by God. 
 
 " God helps those who help themselves " is a great 
 truth to be ever borne in mind ; nay, so true, that 
 nearly all prayer is mere idle ceremony, and of small 
 avail, however fervent it may be, if there be no will 
 exerted, no energetic effort to be and do good by 
 those who are capable of effort. For the Creator 
 Himself is ever working by Evolution. Who shall 
 say that even Omnipotence, like Thor, does not do 
 battle with, ere it conquer, the stupendous Jotuns or 
 barbarous giants of brute forces in nature, or the 
 
316 THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 
 
 " downward-borne elements of God," as Hermes 
 Trismegistus called them. 
 
 * As Creation is the will of God realised in action, 
 so the will of man vigorously exerted is responded 
 to by the divine Demiurgus. Therefore prayer 
 should be will, and will, prayer, which may be fully 
 apparent in time, though, perhaps, not at first. 
 
 * What is most to be considered, above all earthly 
 interests and desires, or human wants or ideas, is 
 the illimitable, stupendous, and glorious power and 
 nature of God. Here Evolution has lifted man far 
 above all that the most inspired prophets or bards 
 of Judaea or Egypt or India ever conceived. For 
 they were limited to what was apparent to the 
 senses, and, indeed, to this world, as the only one. 
 But to him who actually understands that there are 
 twenty million suns with solar systems, and so on 
 for ever, and that it is probable, as Paracelsus so 
 strangely guessed, that there are races and worlds 
 to us invisible and intangible, living as it were 
 through, and in, this life, the Creator must be more 
 than He ever was, even to Moses. 
 
 Now the more the stupendous, original, creative 
 power of God is felt, the more capable do we become 
 of realising that is, rising to and drawing near 
 unto Him. By so doing shall we understand that 
 all was made in and by and for Him, as the only 
 one, and not for us. Before this awful and glorious 
 truth all other considerations should vanish, for His 
 Will should be all He is the Master and the Lord 
 for ever. 
 
 All who believe this, will desire to do good work 
 for its own sake, and create that which shall in the 
 future be developed into greater good, rather than 
 
THE EVANISHMENT OF FLAXIUS 317 
 
 seek for pay or reward, which latter may be left to 
 God or unseen divine agents, who know better than 
 we do what we need, and who do aid the true servitors 
 of God. 
 
 The true servitor is the one who lives in the 
 infinite power, goodness, and glory of God, who 
 exerts his own will and strength or effort to the 
 utmost to do, and to be, good, and whose devotion 
 consists not so much in mere praying or begging for 
 alms, instead of trying to earn wages, as of recogni 
 tion of His Omnipotence 
 
 Yes, if it be God s will that I should pass away 
 into nothingness, then would I prefer it to the most 
 blissful immortality without His desire, for what am 
 I before Him, save His creation from nothing, born 
 to obey ? And so far from thinking that such want 
 of a future releases man from moral obligations, I 
 hold that such a faith is the highest stimulus to do 
 our best while we live, and avoid all sin. 
 
 * Therefore, O man, trouble not thyself, as to a 
 future, so that thou lovest and obeyest God, and 
 treatest man as another self, and livest thy utmost 
 mental life in will and prayer. For unto him whose 
 prayer is will and will is prayer, all may be granted. 
 
 * And remember that there is nothing taught more 
 explicitly in the New Testament, than that man 
 should commune directly with God without aid or 
 intervention, chiefly by worship, and by using his 
 will in every way to that end. 
 
 In very truth Vicisti, Galilcee! Thou hast con 
 quered, O Christ ! 
 
BREITMANN S LAST BALLAD 
 
 THERE was once an American hodge-podge, comic 
 melodrama of a kind now passed away in which 
 there was heard from time to time one warning 
 trumpet blown behind the scenes, for no assignable 
 reason save to heighten the effect. This it invari 
 ably did, and especially after the curtain had fallen, 
 when the clarion notes were heard as an Encore. 
 Even so has it been with Breitmann in this book, 
 and so at the end doth he sound Farewell as follows 
 speaking from his very heart as to the war : 
 
 BREITMANN ON THE BOERS 
 
 Dot I war born a Deutscher is fery blain to see, 
 Yet dere are dings in vitch I tont fall in mit Germany, 
 Bein rader too cosmopolite and hafe peen all along 
 To dink a man should always go pro patria right or wrong. 
 
 Usque ad aras an honest man may tramp, 
 But if folk would take him furder he hat petter shoot de camp ; 
 Und I shtops right off my warblin of dot you may pe sure, 
 If asked to sing in chorus mit any kind of Boer. 
 
 Somedimes, when in queer circles, dis ding is fery true, 
 
 I hafe found mineself compulsioned to heurler avec les loups ; 
 
 Dot is to howlen mid de wolfs, but nefer yet, py jigs ! 
 
 Did I get to such abasement as to griintsel mid de pigs ! 
 
 You may read in der Zoologie, or Natur Historic, 
 Dot pigs are de most tyronical of all de peasts dot pe, 
 For dey drives or stinks all oders away from where dey feed, 
 Und dis is vot de Boers tried in Africa, indeed ! 
 
 318 
 
BREITMANN S LAST BALLAD 319 
 
 Und ash dey are most tyronical whene er dey get a chance, 
 So Fate is most ironical in endin deir romance, 
 For dey Ve gone from pad to worser, and are endin de debates 
 Mit all de world, in sympathie excep de Nited States. 
 
 Und, exceptin yet again in dot, all dose who had been booted, 
 Or sent away from Europe id est, been persecuted/ 
 Und who, as is but natural, did von and all agree, 
 To persecute de nigger, wherefer he might pe ! 
 
 Ash dere were books were printed two hundred years a-back, 
 Of de horrors and de torments inflicted on der Black, 
 By de Boers in far Sout Africa, among de slaves dey got, 
 De Bushmen und de Kaffirs, likevise der Hottentot. 
 
 Now he who will beat a nigger, as I often heard dem say, 
 Will torment a white man, if he dare, when von corned in his 
 
 way; 
 
 So de Boers in Sout 3 Africa in monner most forbidst, 
 Ottempted to compose oopon de English in deir midst. 
 
 Und dere dey all slopp t ofer, forgettin dey might catch 
 A chap mit bigger boots and soles, when in a kickin match. 
 Yet dey kept der game agoin like der fery teufels at play, 
 Und efen in a gorner some are kickin yet to-day. 
 
 So de Boern getten from Germans uncommon sympathie, 
 Likevise from efery Frencher and de whole of Italy ; 
 Pecause dey are few in numper, and likevise fery prave, 
 Which mit dem excuses eferything, howefer a man behave ! 
 
 Now if your house vas burgled, I 11 bet upon my life, 
 
 If der burgular should shoot your son, likevise pesides your 
 
 wife, 
 
 Dough he fought like der fery teufel, you hardly would fergive 
 Der feller for all his pravery, and hope dot he might live ! 
 
 But de cen* in de molasses barrel, or de secret hid away 
 Is dis dot de Germans wantet for demselfs Sout Africa ; 
 Dey hat hopes dot a dime was comin 5 when ofer all de land 
 Dere wouldt rise a schmell of sauer kraut to der Medit ranean. 
 
 Yoost as Fra Benevento, in his elegie sublime, 
 Did hope der schmell of incense wouldt rise in efery clime, 
 From blesset Roman Churches, so de Deutschers von and all 
 Did dink dis blesset nonsense wouldt cerdainly pefal ! 
 
320 BREITMANN S LAST BALLAD 
 
 As for de liddle Frantshmen, it is as plain as sin, 
 Dey wanted Jean Boule out of Egypt, likewise demselfs darein ; 
 Dough vot dey d do if dey got dere is not fery blain to see : 
 Dot is to judge by deir sookcess in any colonie. 
 
 Keep up dy heart, O England ; maintain dy glorious pluck ! 
 Der von who bears most poundin is der von who gets de luck ! 
 For it is of ancient story und splendid as de stars : 
 It is efer de freest people who endure de bitterest wars ! 
 
 Keep up dy heart, O Britain, despite de envious jeers 
 Of German, French or Dago, of suffering and tears ; 
 Whatefer fools have said to thee of errors in the past, 
 Thou art Gott s best civiliser, and wilt conquer at the last ! 
 
 Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE, (late) Printers to Her Majesty 
 at the Edinburgh University Press 
 
Some Iftew JSoohs ipublfsbeD bg 
 PHILIP WELLBY, 6 HENRIETTA STREET, W.C. 
 
 LUDUS AMORIS. 
 
 BY BENJAMIN SWIFT. 
 Crown %vo. 6s. 
 
 SOME PRESS OPINIONS. 
 
 However firmly Mr. Swift may believe that " love annihilates," he 
 seems in any case to be aware that there is a stage where it is a very 
 delightful game for those who win, and to have no uncertain talent for 
 describing the play. The present novel is a very clever and entertain 
 ing blend of old English comedy and Balzac. . . . Mr. Swift knows 
 how to extract all the rollicking humour out of a half- improbable 
 situation. The result makes excellent reading, being satisfying alike 
 to our human nature and our desire for mental stimulus. The plot is 
 simplicity itself. ... A novel which is written with singular freshness 
 and power, and which combines much of what is best in two widely 
 different styles. Glasgow Herald. 
 
 The extraordinary and fetterless vigour of Mr. Benjamin Swift s 
 style takes us through Ludus Amoris faster than such a story ought 
 to be read. . . . Sport, love, and crime are fused by masterly 
 imagination into a fine, rough casting. Mr. Swift has done nothing 
 so vital before. Yorkshire Post. 
 
 * This novel is certainly interesting and unusual. Saturday Review. 
 f Mr. Swift has at last written a novel which, during the coming 
 
 season, should be very much "asked for." Sunday Special. 
 
 Dignified by a style which must necessarily charm the reader who 
 looks at a book in order to find in it a literary charm. Irish Times. 
 
 * Mr. Benjamin Swift has, in our opinion, done nothing better than 
 his latest novel, Ludus Amoris. A strong and well-balanced novel, 
 with the stamp of a fresh and original mind written clearly upon it. 
 Glasgow Evening News. 
 
 GODFREY MERIVALE. 
 
 BY H. B. MARRIOTT WATSON. 
 Crown 8vo. 6s. 
 
 Author of GALLOPING DICK, THE ADVENTURERS, THE SKIRTS 
 OF HAPPY CHANCE, Etc. Etc. 
 
 SECOND LARGE IMPRESSION IN PREPARATION. 
 
A BOOK OF MYSTERY AND 
 VISION. 
 
 BY ARTHUR EDWARD WAITE. 
 
 Foolscap tfo. Edition limited to 250 copies. 
 
 Cover design by MARY TOURTEL. 
 Frontispiece by ISABELLE DE STEIGER. 
 
 7s. 6d. net. 
 
 These poems are the work of a writer who, after trying many paths 
 of experience, has become conscious in part of the mysteries which 
 environ us. From the Introduction. 
 
 THE LIFE OF LOUIS CLAUDE 
 DE SAINT-MARTIN 
 
 THE UNKNOWN PHILOSOPHER 
 
 AND THE SUBSTANCE OF HIS TRANSCENDENTAL 
 DOCTRINE. 
 
 BY ARTHUR EDWARD WAITE. 
 Demy 8vo. 75. 6d. net. 
 
 A profoundly spiritual view of the world ; an interpretation of 
 Christianity which, though free, is also suggestive ; and a handling of 
 the moral problems of life which is marked by insight and power. 
 Scotsman. 
 
 Men of distinction have spoken of Louis Claude de Saint-Martin 
 with respect and even admiration, as a modern mystic who had more 
 to recommend him than obscurity and extravagance. The Times. 
 
 There is a great resemblance to Schopenhauer in Saint-Martin s 
 writings, although the philosopher was not born until 1788, when the 
 mystic s chief work was done. Literature. 
 
A LIST OF WORKS BY 
 
 CHARLES GODFREY LELAND, F.R.L.S., A.M., 
 Harvard 
 
 Member of the American Philosophical Society, etc. 
 
 THE POETRY AND MYSTERY OF DREAMS. Philadelphia. 
 
 MEISTER KARL S SKETCH BOOK. 
 
 LEGENDS OF THE BIRDS. POEMS. 
 
 THE HANS BREITMANN BALLADS. SONGS OF THE SEA 
 
 AND LAYS OF THE LAND. 
 
 SONGS OF MOTHER PITCHER. CHILDREN S RHYMES. 
 
 HANS BREITMANN IN GERMANY. 
 
 THE ENGLISH GYPSIES AND THEIR LANGUAGE. 
 
 THE GYPSIES. Sixth Edition. 
 
 Containing an account of the author s discovery of SHELTA, 
 the lost language of the old Irish Bards. 
 
 THE WORKS OF HENRICH HEINE. (Translation.) 
 ANGLO-ROMANY SONGS. PIDGIN ENGLISH. SINGSONG. 
 ALFENKIN LEGENDS OF NEW ENGLAND. Boston. 
 GYPSY SORCERY. 
 
 ETRUSCAN ROMAN REMAINS. INCANTATIONS AND Music 
 OF LATIN-ETRUSCAN ORIGIN. 
 
 LEGENDS OF FLORENCE. 2 vols. 
 
 ARCADIA OR THE GOSPEL OF THE WITCHES. 
 
 LEGENDS OF VIRGIL. 
 
 ONE HUNDRED RIDDLES OF THE FAIRY BELLANIA. 
 POETRY. 
 
 THE EGYPTIAN SKETCH-BOOK. (Humorous.) 
 
 THE LIFE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 
 
 THE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS. 
 
 FRANCE, ALSACE AND LORRAINE. (Pamphlet.) 
 
 ART OF CONVERSATION, ETC. 
 
 THE MINOR ARTS. 
 
 INDUSTRIAL ART IN EDUCATION. Issued by the United 
 States Government. 
 
 TWELVE MANUALS OF ART. New York. 
 
 ALBUM OF DESIGNS FOR SHEET METAL WORK. New 
 York. 
 
 MANUALS OF DESIGN. WOOD-CARVING, LEATHER-WORK, 
 METAL-WORK. 
 
 MENDING AND REPAIRING. 
 
JOSEPH JOACHIM. 
 
 A BIOGRAPHY (1831-1899). 
 
 BY PROFESSOR ANDREAS MOSER. 
 
 TRANSLATED BY LILLA DURHAM 
 
 (BY PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR). 
 
 INTRODUCTION BY A. J. FULLER MAITLAND. 
 
 With Portrait by G. F. WATTS, R. A., and Thirteen other Por 
 traits and Facsimiles. &vo. Limited Edition. I5s.net. 
 
 SOME PRESS OPINIONS. 
 
 It is very seldom that a translation of a work written in a foreign 
 tongue is so completely successful as the verson by Miss Lilla Durham 
 of Professor Andreas Moser s biography of the greatest violinist of our 
 own and probably of any other time. . . . Apart from his connection 
 with such masters as Mendelssohn, Schumann, Spohr, Liszt, Wagner, 
 and Brahms, we are enabled to appreciate the condition of things pre 
 valent in the various centres of music in which Joachim has played his 
 part at different times in a way which was previously not open to 
 us. ... Evidently a labour of love, it is no less a literary success than 
 a discriminating and critical appreciation of a towering genius and a 
 noble personality. Daily Telegraph. 
 
 The value of such a life and of such an example to the art of his 
 time is hardly to be estimated in words. Westminster Gazette. 
 
 Biographies of living persons are not to be commended as a rule. 
 ... If anything could reconcile one to a disputable fashion, it would 
 be such a case as this, where on the one side are genius and worth, and 
 on the other enthusiasm tempered with tact. Spectator. 
 
 f The present work is entitled to special consideration and deserves 
 to meet with a success more than ephemeral. We have here not only 
 the record of a successful artistic career, but we are provided with 
 most interesting details concerning the feud which existed for so long 
 a while in Germany between the partisans of the non-classical school, 
 represented by Brahms, and the champions of the new movement who 
 owned allegiance to Wagner and Lizst. Cannot fail to be of great 
 interest to all music lovers, and to them it may heartily be recommended. 
 Several portraits are well reproduced as illustrations. Morning Post. 
 
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