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THE EARLY DAYS OF MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 

 ^ 
 
 
THE EARLY DAYS 
 
 OF 
 
 MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE; 
 
 Public School Life between Forty and Fifty Years ago. 
 
 TO WHICH IS ADDED 
 
 A Glimpse of Old Haileybiiry; 
 
 Patna during the Mutiny; 
 
 A Sketch of the Natural History of the Riviera; 
 
 AND 
 
 Life in an Oxfordshire Village. 
 
 EDWARD LOCKWOOD, 
 
 V 
 
 Indian Civil Service {Retired), 
 
 AUTHOR of; " TyE JJ^TV'^'- HlSTOliV ^I* 'MONGHVR.' 
 
 ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 SIMPKIN. MARSHALL, HAMILTON. KENT & CO.. Limited; 
 
 FARMER & SONS, KENSINGTON, W. 
 
LF7f5 
 M 3f L lo 
 
 FARMER AND SONS, 
 
 PRINTERS, 
 
 295, EDGWARE ROAD, LONDON, 
 
 W. 
 
 HENRY MORSE STEf HENS 
 
(X-C^ 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 OFTEN hear it said that no school turns out better 
 scholars than Marlborough ; and certainly I have no 
 reason to doubt this fact, for even in my time it was 
 by no means behind other schools in this respect. 
 Indeed there is good reason to suppose that there is 
 no better school all round, for after my time there 
 appears to have been a thorough reform and cleansing of the 
 Augean stable, effected, I imagine, chiefly by raising the terms, and 
 obtaining sufficient raw material necessary for the manufacture of 
 the sleek and happy schoolboy. In holding up a mirror of early 
 days there, I am merely giving a brief account of the place as I 
 knew it. I was unfortunate in going there in its tentative days, 
 when cheapness was overdone, for after all other expenses had 
 been paid, there could not have been much left over to provide 
 efficient masters and sufficient food out of the £15 which my 
 father paid each half-year for me, particularly as I find, on 
 
 512676 
 
viii. PREFACE. 
 
 reference to corn averages, that bread was then at least double the 
 price it is now. 
 
 At the same time, should anyone invite me to give an apt 
 illustration to the text That " Creation groaneth and travaileth 
 until now," it would be that mathematics and dead languages — 
 the most dry and uninteresting of all subjects, except to an elect 
 few — form the chief items in the curriculum of our schools ; and 
 that the elect, who, as a matter of course, preside over the schools, 
 understanding and delighting in these subjects, are apt to give 
 short shrift and little commiseration to dull fellows like myself, 
 who don't — or at least didn't at the age of eight — share their 
 knowledge and enthusiasm. 
 
 Those who are not fully aware how much humbug — unconscious 
 no doubt — there is, even amongst the best of men, may feel 
 surprised that the great moralist, and generally reasonable Dr. 
 Johnson, should always have expressed his approbation of enforcing 
 instruction by means of the rod ; and yet, not only do we find him 
 beating his schoolmistress, but also bitterly complaining of hie 
 master. " He used," he said, " to beat us unmercifully, and did 
 not distinguish between ignorance and negligence." If such things 
 were done to the green tree, what must have been done to the 
 dry ? If the owner of such an intellect complains, how must 
 the dunces have suffered ? We also find Boswell and his patron 
 laying their heads together to defend a ruffian — whose salary 
 appears to have been only £2.0, and therefore plainly of the 
 cheap and nasty type — who had been " somewhat severe " in 
 the chastisement of his scholars. " This man," says the great 
 
PREFACE. ix. 
 
 moralist, " has maimed none of his boys ; they are all left with the 
 exercise of their corporeal faculties. In our schools in England 
 many boys have been maimed ; yet I never heard of an action 
 against a schoolmaster on that account." But the subject is too 
 horrible to continue, and it may be considered very presumptuous 
 on my part in venturing to imply, " Maxime ! si hi vis, cupio 
 contendere tecum." 
 
 The great classical scholar and writer of the next century also, 
 so far as I can make out, ranges himself on the side of the rod. I 
 don't remember that Macaulay's biographers mention that he was 
 ever beaten at school ; if he was, it must have been for turning 
 the tables on his teachers, and exasperating them by knowing 
 too much. He seems to think that a boy even deserves a flogging 
 for using the word Ovt^tol in the same sense to which the Right 
 Honourable John Wilson Croker, (no mean Greek scholar) 
 ascribed to it. 
 
 But when such authorities as these are for hammering boys, no 
 wonder that dull children, on leaving home for school, incline to 
 exclaim with me, 
 
 " And turning from my nursery window, drew 
 A long, long sigh, and wept a last adieu." 
 
 I have always felt sore when recalling my school-days, but now 
 I have had my say in the following pages, I feel like Mr. Pickwick, 
 after he had pitched into Dodson and Fogg in his lawyer's office ; 
 and I am happy in raising my voice against the rascally trick some 
 masters have, or at least had in my time, of scamping their work, 
 and making their wretched pupils suffer in consequence, 
 
X. PREFACE. 
 
 On looking over my manuscript I find I have made several Latin 
 quotations, and I fear I incur the risk of making myself supremely 
 ridiculous in posing as a Latin scholar. Nothing however can be 
 further from my intention, for no one can be more painfully aware 
 than I am myself, how great my ignorance is, not only in Latin 
 but in every other branch of knowledge. Perhaps I should act 
 wisely in striking out all the Latin. But I trust it will not be 
 considered offensive when I acknowledge I am merely gifted 
 
 " With just enough of learning to mis-quote,'" 
 
 and have had to refer to the originals before venturing to send 
 what I have written to the printer. Ever since I took up the 
 Georgics for examination they have been running in my head, and 
 as I have kept a large apiary for many years, I believe I have read 
 the Bee-poem more frequently than any other book. But perhaps 
 I had better not say anything more on the subject, for in trying to 
 avoid one rock I may get wrecked upon another, and being 
 accused of the pride which apes humility, find myself in the position 
 of the old man and his donkey, who, do what he would, failed 
 to satisfy his critics. 
 
 What a wonderful thing is memory ! Although I am far too apt to 
 forget, after five minutes have elapsed, who dealt last, and whether 
 the Queen is out before putting down my Knave, events which 
 occurred nearly fifty years ago so crowd my memory, that my chief 
 fear in writing my manuscript has been that it will be too long, 
 and illustrate the vice of prolixity, so current at the present time. 
 I find also that I have not placed all my stories of school life in 
 strict chronological order. They have recurred to my memory 
 
PREFACE. xi. 
 
 whilst working on my farm — whilst mingling with the universe by 
 the brook-side and elsewhere — so I experienced difficulty in placing 
 them exactly in their proper places without considerable loss of 
 time and trouble. But although I should not have minded this, if 
 absolutely necessary, I venture to think that changing about from 
 one subject to another will render what I have written less tedious 
 than otherwise it might have been. 
 
 Scraps of m}' text, here and there, have appeared in print before, 
 and the whole of the last two chapters, " On the Riviera," were 
 published in " The Field,'' so I have to express my thanks to 
 the Editor for allowing me to reproduce them here. 
 
 The men who work on my farm and other residents of the village 
 tell me they hope to read what I have written in the following 
 pages. As comparatively few of them have extended their travels 
 even so far as London, it appears to me that portions of my text 
 which relates to mammoths, bull-fighting, and chasing painted 
 ladies, might be misinterpreted without illustrations. I have 
 accordingly introduced such pictures as I have found available, 
 for their benefit ; and I trust, if by chance the polite and learned 
 remember having seen something similar before, that they will 
 pass them over without unfavourable comment. Messrs. Black- 
 wood, of Edinburgh, very kindly presented me with pictures of 
 the mammoth and fish-lizard skeletons, and I am indebted to my 
 niece. Miss Alice Lockwood, at the Rectory, for the portraits which 
 appear on pages 36, 43. 7 1. 73- 
 
 EDWARD LOCKWOOD. 
 
 KiNGHAM. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 The Early Days of Marlborough College i 
 
 A Glimpse of Old Haileybury ^43 
 
 Patna during the Mutiny ^53 
 
 A Sketch of the Natural History of the Riviera 197 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 The Mammoth 
 
 Skeleton of a Fish-Lizard 
 
 Arctic Scene 
 
 The Chapel, Marlborough College 
 
 The Beadle 
 
 Marlborough College (overlooking the Bowling Green) 
 "Your Father has arrived" 
 "On the Road" 
 Skeleton of Mammoth 
 Skeleton of Fish-Lizard... 
 
 The Great Grey-Strike 
 
 The Roller 
 
 The Andalusian Quail 
 
 The Hawfinch 
 
 The Kingfisher 
 
 "Owls " 
 
 "Fur-Cap" 
 
 Bathing Place, Marlborough College 
 
 Black-Headed Bunting 
 
 The Moorhen 
 
 Stoat Killing Rabbit 
 
 The May-Fly 
 
 The Trout 
 
 The Pied Flycatcher 
 
 The Water-Ousel, or Dipper 
 
 A Spanish Bull-Fight 
 
 Rusticus Jud^us et Porculus 
 
 Bishop Cotton 
 
 The Chapel 
 
 The Upper School 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 • •• 3 
 
 4 
 
 ... 19 
 
 32 
 ... 36 
 
 39 
 ... 42 
 
 47 
 ... 56 
 
 58 
 ... 60 
 
 61 
 ... 62 
 
 64 
 ... 68 
 
 71 
 
 ••• 73 
 81 
 
 ... 84 
 85 
 
 ... 94 
 95 
 
 ... 96 
 
 lOI 
 
 ... 103 
 
 115 
 
 122 — 125 
 
 139 
 ... 139 
 
 139 
 
LIST OF ILLVSTRATIONS— continued. 
 
 The Old Staircase 
 
 Haileybury College 
 
 Specimen of Hindustani Writing ... 
 
 Indian Parrakeet ... 
 
 Spear 
 
 Sikh Soldier 
 
 The Pheasant-tailed Jacana 
 
 The Wandering Magpie, or Cook-lee 
 
 The Octopus 
 
 The Carob Bean 
 
 View on the Road to Genoa 
 The Anenome 
 
 The Tunny Fish 
 
 The Camberwell Beauty 
 
 The Swallow-tail Butterfly 
 The Trapdoor Spider 
 The Green Tree-Frog 
 
 page. 
 ... 139 
 
 145 
 ■ • 149 
 
 157 
 .. 163 
 
 165 
 • •• 173 
 
 185 
 ... 203 
 
 207 
 ... 213 
 
 217 
 ... 219 
 
 223 
 ... 224 
 
 225 
 ... 229 
 
THE EARLY DAYS OF MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE, 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 LTHOUGH we cannot expect mankind to care much 
 about remote posterity, I should feel grateful if the 
 forefathers of the hamlet had taken the trouble to 
 place on record the principal events which have 
 occurred from time to time in our village here. 
 Or better still, if each succeeding age had produced 
 its Gilbert White, who would have told us not only 
 who built the Rectory,* and the houses whose walls are four feet 
 thick, but also how the village fared when the wolfs howl was 
 re-echoed from the church tower, and eagles, cranes, and bitterns 
 frequented the valley of the Evenlode. We might also have learnt 
 
 * On a memorial marble in the Church, one Dowdeswell, an ancestor of mine who flourished during the 
 reign of James II., is alluded to as hospitii vicini fundator. According to "The Antiquary," the hospitium 
 was a place for entertaining strangers, and this description would certainly apply to the Rectory since I have 
 known it. 
 
THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 ^lidw, the Saxons employed their time, and who was the kingf that 
 made this place his home, and how far his sovereign rule extended. 
 
 And going further back, we should like to read some record of 
 those days, when the Georgics formed our farmers' vade mecum, and 
 when the soldier, who came here for an evening stroll from the 
 Roman Camp close by, talked Latin with a purer accent and greater 
 ease, than even the college tutor who adorns our village now. 
 
 How eagerly we should listen to a diary kept by that still older 
 race which worshipped at the Rollright Stones, perched on the 
 summit of a neighbouring hill; for we should like to hear about their 
 sacrifices, and whether our village supplied any of their victims; and 
 where the Druids got their supply of mistletoe, as none grows in 
 the neighbourhood now. 
 
 Of the ancient inhabitants of our village, so far back, it may be 
 
 said : 
 
 Their bones are dust, 
 Their swords are rust, 
 Their souls are with the saints — we trust. 
 
 But before them, there appears to have lived a race, whose weapons 
 have defied the mouldering hand of time ; whose flint arrow-heads 
 and axes are now ploughed up, fresh as the day when they left the 
 cunning hand which made them ; to slay their fellow-men of 
 course, and also to do battle with the Mammoths, whose fossil 
 bones were found by cartloads, when the cutting which divides my 
 farm into two portions, was dug out by the navvies who made our 
 railroad. 
 
 Wandering further up the stream of time ; what an eager crowd 
 of savants would assemble to hear a true and faithful history of that 
 huge boulder, which gives the name of " Great Stone " to one of my 
 fertile fields, and the time when many thousand feet of ice and snow 
 covered our village site. 
 
 t In Doomsday book this village is called Canyngeham or King's home, and to the present day a residence 
 here is usually accounted so delightful, that the inhabitants are supposed to feel despondent, when out of 
 sight of the church tower. My old friend, Master Beauchamp, whose brief military career is mentioned in 
 another chapter, went a step further, for as he leant on his shepherd's crook beneath the trees on the village 
 green, he was wont to declare, that he would sooner be Aw«^ ai Kingkam than die a natural death elsewhere, 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 Man}- ciphers would be required to write down in round numbers, 
 the years which have passed since the "Great Stone'' was deposited 
 in my field, but even then our village site was old ; though the small 
 group of stars which are shining through my window now, and by 
 
 THE MAMMOTH. 
 
 A former inhabitant of our village site. 
 
 which I have often guided my boat upon the Ganges, may have been 
 visible on clear nights, and puzzled primeval man to count. 
 
 *Qu(B septem did, sex tatnen esse solent. 
 
 * The story of a missing Pleiad, originated 1 believe from an optical delusion, caused by the peculiar 
 position of the stars which form the group. Viewed together they appear seven. The star-gazer perhaps does 
 not notice them again for some time, and then counting them he not unnaturally exclaims that one is missing, 
 as he can only find six (Of course I do not allude to professional star-gazers or astronomers.) 
 
 P2 
 
4 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 But the blue lias, which crops up in another of my fields, carries 
 our record back to a far remoter period, when our village site lay at 
 the bottom of the sea, upon whose waves, according to astronomers, 
 constellations, unknown to us, were shining, and giving light to the 
 strange and monstrous forms of life, whose bones are occasionally 
 turned out by modern workmen. 
 
 The lias is the most ancient evidence which our village has to 
 show of days gone by ; but a thousand feet below us there probably 
 Hes a bed of coal, which although it may be somewhat nearer to 
 my door, than the Depot at our Junction, unfortunately is far more 
 difficult to approach. 
 
 THE SKELETON OF A FISH LIZARD {-2.^ feet in length). 
 An inhabitant of our village site in lias days. 
 
 Those whose education is comparatively advanced, whilst viewing 
 the various strata our village can exhibit, will " strive to turn the 
 key of time, in order to comprehend the vast, the awful truth of the 
 eternity which has gone by ; " but many generations of working 
 men have dug our lias, without giving its age and history a moment's 
 thought. To them as yet, the magic word "Geology" is quite 
 unknown, though some, perhaps, will say : — 
 
 "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." 
 
 But whilst we may deplore the absence of ancient books or 
 manuscripts, relating to the history of our village, future inhabitants 
 will have little cause to complain of us who live here now. We 
 have our Gilbert White in my neighbour, Mr. Fowler,* the historian 
 
 * Fellow of Lincoln College, Oxford, 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 5 
 
 of birds; and Colonel Barrow, F.R.S., who lives opposite, with 
 an instinct probably inherited from his father,* keeps a " Log," 
 which has attained such gigantic size, that it weighs four hundred 
 pounds, completely putting in the shade those burly t volumes, 
 which Macaulay reviewed with the remark, " that the prolonged 
 years of Hilpa and Shalum, who lived before the flood, are required 
 to read them through." 
 
 My acquaintance with our village dates from a time when railroads 
 in the neighbourhood were unknown, and when anyone who had 
 been to London was considered a bond fide traveller — a man who 
 had seen the world — an oracle. 
 
 Farmer Shirley was one of these, and as he stood leaning on his 
 gate, clad in the leather heirloom-breeches of those days, he seemed 
 never weary of relating to a gaping crowd, how on reaching the 
 metropolis, thinking that the people, from their numbers, must be 
 coming out of Church, he planted his back firmly against a wall 
 waiting till they should all go by. According to his own account, 
 he might have waited there for ever ; had not some careless person 
 dropped a five-pound note close by upon the pavement ; He could 
 hardly believe his eyes : tradition said the London streets were 
 paved with gold, but here was "paper" for the trouble of picking 
 up ! He was about to pocket his lucky find, when a stage whisper 
 reached his ears, "Halves countryman!" it seemed to say, and 
 looking round, he found another pair of eyes had seen the note 
 upon the ground. At first the farmer indignantly refused to share 
 the spoil, but threatened pains and penalties caused him to hand 
 over all the cash he had, some thirty shillings, to pacify the man, 
 who, grumbling, went his way. 
 
 The heated controversy had made the farmer thirsty, so, turning 
 into a neighbouring tavern, he called for a glass of beer, tendering 
 of course the note in payment. But he was informed it had no 
 
 * Sir John Barrow, Bart. ; for many years Secretary to the Admiralty, a great traveller and a voluminous 
 writer ; died 1848. 
 
 t It was not until 1 had written this sentence down, that I discovered I incur the risk of making persons* 
 with sensitive ears, " ashamed of their species." 
 
6 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 commercial value, and he narrowly escaped detention as a forger; 
 and almost worse than that, on looking round, he found his dog, 
 to which he was much attached, was gone. Then our worthy 
 neighbour's brief visit to the metropolis ended ; and turning his 
 distorted visage homewards, he stepped bravely out to walk the 
 seventy miles before him, begging food and water by the way. 
 
 Next day he reached his home ; a w'iser, if not a sadder, man ; for 
 any chagrin which still remained from his unlucky trip to London, 
 was dispelled, when with astonishment — akin to that with which he 
 viewed the note upon the ground — he saw his dog rush out joyously, 
 to welcome his return.* 
 
 About that time, or say half-a-century ago, a scheme, which had 
 been proposed to turn the old Castle Inn at Marlborough, into a 
 College, which should give a liberal education, on very favourable 
 terms, to the sons of clergy, met with the warm approval, not only 
 of my father, who was the Rector here, but also of my brother and 
 myself, who were to enjoy the advantages set forth. The prospect 
 held out before us, was painted in rosy hues. Happiness, we were 
 told, is the special heritage of schoolboys. We should drink of the 
 fountain of knowledge freely, and thus acquire powder ; and what 
 perhaps was the most important item in our eyes, we should receive 
 a piece of silver, all of which we might fairly call our own, as each 
 succeeding Saturday came round. 
 
 Although, as yet, our English was imperfect, and we knew nothing 
 of the language of ancient Greece and Rome, what did it matter ! 
 " Leave all that sort of thing to us," cried the interviewed 
 preceptor, with an ominous flourish of his arm; " We will soon 
 explain to these little chaps what relativtim cum antecedente concordat 
 means, and we will introduce them to those jolly rural vocalists, 
 Mopsus and Silenus ; to the fair Qinone, and the faithless Paris." 
 
 In the August following, on the 12th day — though on this point I 
 
 * About this time the late Lord Redesdale, the local magnate of those days, in a letter to my father, which 
 I have seen, and is still extant I believe, at the Rectory, wrote, " 1 trust you will oppose, by every means in 
 your power, this horrid railway, which will cut up many of our finest meadows." Notwithstanding this sage 
 warning, my father did all he could to promote the railway. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 7 
 
 am not quite sure — my father's carriage-and-pair was drawn up by 
 the Rectory door ; and by the time my brother and myself, aged 
 nine and eight respectively, were hoisted up behind, no party, en 
 route to the moors, contained a more happy and contented quartette 
 than that carriage did. The Rector and his wife in front, thinking 
 that their children would now "get on," and traverse the road to 
 fortune ; whilst we behind were full of hope and joy, longing for the 
 Elysian fields at Marlborough College, in which we were so soon to 
 revel. In the foreground of the picture stood our youthful postman, 
 who had just arrived with letters, and on the Rectory steps our 
 faithful cordon bleu* appeared, with a basket of provisions to help us 
 on our way. This good lady often told us, in after years, that she 
 could not help feeling somewhat disappointed at our radiant faces, as 
 she held our hands in hers, wishing us " good-bye," and as she had 
 experienced the vanity of human wishes, she entertained grave 
 doubts regarding the anticipated peace and joy, stored up for us in 
 the new world we were going to explore. 
 
 The most fascinating theory of modern science tells us, that no 
 scene on which the sun has shone is absolutely lost, as the reflection 
 goes travelling on, with great velocity, for ever through the sky. 
 That, given the proper distance and suitable optical instruments, or 
 eyes, every scene which has occurred on earth may now be viewed. 
 The forests, which formed our coal, in all their pristine beauty ; the 
 monsters which thronged the seas and air in lias days, unscared by 
 man. So perhaps beings who inhabit planets, which move round 
 stars of the second or third magnitude, may, as I write, be 
 feasting their celestial eyes upon my form just entering Marlborough 
 College. 
 
 However that may be ; the scene of my introduction lay in the 
 " wilderness and mount " attached to the College grounds, a damp 
 and creepy-looking place, apparently laid out in days gone by, when 
 buff-jerkins were about ; and, judging from the prevalence of yews, 
 
 * These two persons are introduced as a tribute to the salubrity of our village. The former, Tom Phipps, 
 is still our postman ; and the latter, at the age of 92, is superintending the preparation of my dinner now. 
 
8 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 when the English armed themselves as remote savages do now. 
 The clergy, as might be expected, were in force, bringing in a stream 
 of new arrivals, full of life and joyous mirth. 
 
 One group of lads was engaged in hunting frogs which abounded 
 there, and great heaps of the slain were prominently exposed to 
 view; whilst the captain of the crew, like Agamemnon, was chiding 
 the backward, and encouraging the zealous ones to renewed 
 exertions. Every hole and corner was carefully explored, and 
 reptiles, which scenting danger, had crept into fastnesses under logs 
 or stones, were remorselessly dragged out. The moat also, which 
 bounded the wilderness on one side, was searched by an eager band, 
 with sleeves turned back, in order to probe the overhanging banks, 
 and draw out the slimy prey. Some were stripping nut-trees of their 
 fruit, whilst others, more to show their prowess, than to illustrate 
 Darwin's " Descent of Man," which had not then appeared, were 
 climbing trees, and amid the branches, peeping down with gay 
 grimaces on the passers-by. 
 
 The sports of children satisfy the child ; but the parents soon 
 grew weary of the scene, and thinking that their brood might be 
 shipped off fairly now, retired to spend a quiet evening at the 
 " Ailesbury Arms," which, doubtless, at that time was doing a 
 roaring trade. Then I was left alone, and eager to give full play to 
 my buoyant spirit, at once made overtures to gambol with a rough- 
 looking sturdy lad, under whose wing I hoped to bask in safety, as 
 he appeared a giant in my eyes. But he, resenting these advances, 
 aimed a furious blow with a thick frog-slaying bludgeon at my head, 
 which would have knocked out the scanty brains I possessed, and 
 ended my schooldays for ever, had I not, with the agility of a puma, 
 jumped aside and fled in terror. But, as I fled, an imprecation was 
 wafted through the evening air, which sounded like, " O, damn the 
 bugs* ; I hate the bugs ; I should love to slay them all." 
 
 This early lesson made a deep impression on my mind ; it showed 
 how true the Eastern proverb is — admi ka Shaitan admi hai, which 
 
 * This elegant sobriquet was applied to all the boys of the Lower School. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 9 
 
 means to say, " that man's greatest enemy is man," or, in other 
 words, that the proverb, " Hawks don't pick out hawks' eyes," 
 cannot be appUed to boys. 
 
 It is all very well for the poet to exclaim : — 
 
 " How I love the festive boy 
 With his tripping dance of joy." 
 
 but the ordinary small schoolboy is not regarded with much favour 
 by outside mortals bigger than himself. The old Hanuman monkeys 
 of India, are said to kill the youthful males, whenever they can 
 catch them ; and I have little doubt the lads of the Lower School 
 would soon have shared a similar fate, had they not been protected 
 by the law. This opinion was subsequently confirmed by a poem, 
 composed in Greek, by a forward boy of the Upper School, and which 
 was shouted out amid uproarious mirth by all who were sufficiently 
 advanced in learning. It was known as " The Doctor's war-song 
 over the Lower School bugs," and although I knew very well its 
 import, I could only catch the refrain, which sounded like — "Zeus, 
 Zeus, katakteine astrapo!" Which seems to mean, that as the big 
 fellows dare not polish us off themselves, an urgent appeal was 
 made to Jupiter, to " do the needful," and exterminate us, bag and 
 baggage, with his thunder-bolts. 
 
 Two lads who were present in the wilderness attracted my 
 particular attention. Indeed, they formed the cynosure of all. One 
 was the only boy in the school who possessed those fearful appen- 
 dages to the human face, called whiskers, which in those days 
 excited general admiration, and were supposed to make the wearer 
 irresistible to the other sex. In my Liliputian eyes, he appeared 
 tall as the tree which stands before my window now, but as I find 
 its height is more than thirteen feet, he could hardly have been so 
 tall as that. This lad, on referring to the College register, I find 
 has long since been dead ; but the other, a graceful lad, also of 
 monstrous height, is now Ambassador at Washington. I never 
 heard his name mentioned except in praise, so there seems no harm 
 
10 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 in his introduction here. Neither of these sons of Anak took any 
 part in the revels going on, but I sidled up, hoping to hear them 
 speak. I remember every word they said, their dress, their attitude, 
 and how they moved their arms and legs. Their conversation, 
 although intensely interesting to me at the time, and listened to 
 with wrapt attention, need not be repeated here, except the last 
 sentence, which, as it is recalled, seems ringing in my ears, " I say, 
 Whiskers ! do you know if they intend to give us any tea ? " 
 
 We had not as yet learnt each other's names, and all were known 
 by any peculiarity which seemed to attract attention. One was 
 " Paddy," because of his brogue, another was " Skinny," because he 
 was very thin, whilst a third was " Plum-Pudding," because he 
 was very fat. There were also " Bears," " Monkeys," " Sheep," 
 and " Pigs," from some unlucky supposed resemblance to those 
 animals. 
 
 At length the school-bell rang for tea; and the boys who were still 
 at play in the "Wilderness," were ushered into a large room, which 
 forms, I believe, the College library now, overlooking the bowling- 
 green. But the sickening smell of tea, boiled in new tin cans, was 
 quite enough for me. Henceforward I became a strict abstainer, and 
 during the eight-and-a-half years I remained at school, I invariably 
 quenched my thirst at the College pump; thereby acquiring dexterity 
 in making my hand a channel of communication with my mouth, 
 which I often found useful whilst travelling in India and elsewhere. 
 
 Nor did the beer, which subsequently was dealt out at dinner, in 
 any way alter my predilection for the pump ; not that I was fearful 
 it might make me skittish, but I failed to appreciate its stale, flat 
 look, which was far from tempting. Some of the boys, however, 
 who passed as connoisseurs, declared that it was not fit to drink, 
 and a complaint to this effect apparently was made to the Council of 
 the School. At all events a Councillor came down, and appeared 
 one day attended by due ceremony, in the Dining-hall. There he 
 stood for some moments, whilst a hum of expectation filled the air. 
 At length he rapped the table with the handle of a knife, and when 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. i\ 
 
 perfect silence reigned, he demanded in stentorian tones, that, what 
 he was pleased to denominate " College ale," should be furnished 
 him forthwith. 
 
 On that a lackey who had been waiting for his cue outside, 
 appeared, with a jug and glass upon a tray. What an exciting 
 scene that was to us, as the Councillor held the glass, now filled 
 with ale, carefully to the light, scanning it narrowly with one eye 
 closed, to make quite sure no flies, or small deer of any kind were 
 meandering there. Having satisfied himself thus far, he applied the 
 potion to his nose ; and then a smile lit up his countenance, such 
 as we may suppose, stole over the face of the jolly god when first 
 he heard an ode of Horace recited in his honour. Then he poured 
 the glass of College ale down his throat, passed his hand over his 
 waistcoat to make sure it was safe inside, and gazing blandly round 
 amid the breathless silence of us all, he said "'that during the entire 
 course of an honourable career he had never tasted a more excellent 
 glass of ale, than that which we had seen him now imbibe." 
 
 Of course no evidence was forthcoming, whether the ale, so highly 
 praised, came from our cask, or whether the saying, * In vino Veritas, 
 could fairly be applied to him. 
 
 But I have wandered from the first entertainment at the College. 
 Besides the tea, which I declined to drink, bread and butter was 
 provided, but in such limited supply, that everyone was clamorous 
 for more, and as there was no bell or other means of communication 
 with the pantry, some hungry forward boy began to stamp his 
 feet, an example which was quickly followed by us all. When this 
 exercise had been carried on for some little time, a man, whom 
 subsequently we knew as the College baker, put in an appearance, 
 and greeted us with a sleepy smile of satisfaction, evidently at our 
 appreciation of his wares. But when his paper cap and unkempt 
 look, drew forth comments not wholly complimentary to himself, he 
 stood eyeing us with a look which evidently he intended to be one of 
 
 * This means, that a man " in beer," will speak the truth. But I agree with Dr. Johnson, and should 
 decline the acquaintance of a " fellow " who must be made drunk, before I could believe a word he sayst. 
 
12 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 supreme contempt. At length, when his indignation would allow 
 him to speak, he said " Wot ! and haven't none of you never seen 
 nobody before?" and having uttered this specimen of Marlborough 
 grammar, he hurried off to report in a higher quarter, the anarchy 
 which prevailed, whilst we shot forth another shaft which remained 
 in our futile armoury. 
 
 My would-be assassin, from whom I could hardly remove my 
 eyes, had ascertained that Rogers was the College butler's name ; 
 and he proposed, with the cordial approval of us all, that this high 
 official should henceforth be summoned. The suggestion was 
 accordingly carried out, in such shrill notes, that the only wonder 
 seemed that the roof did not fall in, or the floor open and swallow 
 up us all. No Rogers came, but in his place a master with a 
 formidable cane appeared, and then we learnt our first lesson, that 
 in future we must remain content with what the gods provided, and 
 no more. 
 
 But whilst we had Scylla in the shape of hunger, on one hand, 
 on the other, we subsequently found, was the more dangerous 
 Charybdis — Mistake in gauging our appetites, and leaving food 
 upon our plates. 
 
 " Waste not want not," is certainly a good motto to impress 
 on those who are over-burdened with this world's goods ; but at 
 Marlborough College when I was there, opportunity of having 
 anything to waste so seldom happened, that the aphorism might 
 fairly have been regarded as a dead letter, or one which did not 
 demand much notice. Those in authority however thought other- 
 wise ; and some time before we were dismissed from hall, a careful 
 scrutiny of all our plates was made, in order to ascertain whether 
 any young wolf among us was likely eventually to come to want, 
 through wasteful conduct. 
 
 The grating noise, made by the master's chair as he rose to make 
 his rounds, or knout us in the school, is one of those familiar sounds, 
 which I imagine has often been recalled by many an old Marlburian. 
 I have fancied that I heard it in the lonely Indian jungles, and whilst 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 13 
 
 lying on the banks of the sacred Ganges ; and although night-mares 
 seldom trouble me, that sound, or an examination paper, of which 
 I cannot answer a single word, take the place of other terrors which 
 troubled sleepers see. 
 
 There was a boy who was only seven when he arrived at school ; 
 he sat near me, and one day he whispered that he thought he could 
 eat a house, meaning that he was very hungry. It was resurrection- 
 day, on which a rechauffe was served up, surmounted by such a 
 formidable crust, that a very limited portion would have made even 
 sturdy Friar Tuck cry, " Hold, enough." But hunger had made my 
 neighbour reckless, and he demanded a second slice ; and then the 
 dreaded Inspector stood before him. Perhaps terror checked his 
 appetite ; for, although he crammed the delicate morsels into his 
 mouth, he found how true the saying is : Naturam non expellas furca, 
 or, " You can't drive out nature with a fork." The master eyed 
 his victim for some moments, which, though they may have been 
 pleasant enough to him, were agony to the wretched boy ; and at 
 length, pulling out the well-known pocket book, he said, " Come 
 to my desk when the school bell rings, and I will cane you." 
 
 How gladly the entire school would have hailed the sudden 
 appearance of the Editor of ''Truth,'" or the Secretary of the Society 
 for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children on the scene, to stay the 
 reverend arm. 
 
 There was a tradition in the Lower School, that if any master 
 raised his arm above his head whilst in the act of caning, he was 
 liable to be fined a bottle of the best champagne. Whether this 
 penalty was ever enforced in my case, I don't pretend to say, but, 
 if it was, I certainly never received my share. Perhaps it was 
 enforced in the " Common room," where, of course, the masters 
 drank my health, hoping, at the same time, that the dose would be 
 repeated soon. 
 
 When our first scanty meal at school was ended, as the days 
 were long, we were all let loose into the large courtyard which is 
 bounded by the iron railings, and there we had to make acquaintance 
 
14 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 with our schoolfellows as best we could. But as everyone wished 
 to curry favour with those older and bigger than himself, I, being 
 very small and young, met with scant courtesy from all. 
 
 Some large trees were standing near the covered playground then, 
 and under one of these Jefferies had his stall of cakes and tarts, 
 whilst under another tree, a woman whose name I can't remember, 
 had a stall of gooseberries, with which she did a roaring trade. 
 In fact, most of the money which the boys had brought from home 
 passed into the pockets of the stall-holders on that never-to-be- 
 forgotten day. The gooseberry- vendor had every reason for satisfac- 
 tion ; for when she retired, having disposed of all her wares, she was 
 followed by a grateful crowd which cheered her to the echo, and 
 as she turned the corner leading to the town, the ovation which she 
 received as ^Hhe cheap woman,''' must still have been ringing in her 
 ears. 
 
 At sunset Sergeant Bompas rang the school-bell suspended by 
 his lodge ; the bell whose summons for many years I attended to so 
 well, that I never once was late. Again we were ushered into the 
 room where we had enjoyed our so-called tea. The strictest silence 
 was enforced, whilst I, overawed, felt like a mouse under a lion's 
 paw, and found the quiet which reigned around, a very painful 
 contrast to the unlimited amount of chatter in which I was wont to 
 indulge when I occupied my nursery at home. 
 
 At half-past eight the school-bell rang again, and then I was 
 introduced to an attic of the Old Castle Inn, overlooking the 
 bowling-green, which I shared with twenty other boys. " Rules and 
 Regulations " were posted up, which, among other things enforced 
 silence, which was very irksome, for even rooks and starlings are 
 allowed to chatter when they go to roost. 
 
 A captain was placed over us, and as he was a new broom he 
 naturally desired to show his zeal, and not finding anyone inclined 
 to break the rules, he fixed on me, probably because I seemed least 
 likely to defend myself, and sent up my name to the head master 
 next day for talking, although I had hardly dared to breathe, much 
 
less to speak, 
 enforced, thouj 
 
 MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 But as time went on, this silence 
 jh talking seldom lasted long, for 
 
 rule was 
 soon all 
 
 15 
 
 not 
 the 
 
 dormitories throughout the school were hushed in slumber. 
 
 The attic where we slept had probably, in its old inn days, 
 sheltered many a weary traveller, who gladly would have changed 
 places with either of the twenty urchins herded together there with 
 me. But the first few hours' experience of school-life caused me to 
 lie down upon my iron bed — the first night which fell on Marlborough 
 College — in far from an enviable state of mind. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 Y father came next day to see how we had passed the 
 night, and I, with many tears begged him to take 
 me home. But this was not to be, so we went for 
 consolation to the bureau, where a deposit for our 
 expected weekly money, was by appointment to be 
 made. Here we found an illustration of the van- 
 ity of human wishes, for the official in charge 
 appeared aghast at the liberal or rather prodigal spirit, which had 
 suggested silver, and he declared, that with a liberal ctiisine such 
 as we enjoyed, threepence per week would meet all our possible 
 requirements not provided by the school. 
 
 Half-a-sovereign in gold was consequently laid down upon the 
 desk, in payment for my brother and myself, until the Christmas 
 holidays came round, and this amount was truly said to be more 
 than most boys in England, and elsewhere, ever get or hope for. 
 
 I am sure in our village here, the children cannot get so much, 
 judging from the persistent way in which they come singing 
 Christmas carols. Careless alike of wind and cold, they come, weeks 
 before the customary time, and appear happy and contented if a 
 do^en of them get a bronze coin to divide. But, perhaps, the fun 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 17 
 
 of hearing their own voices, and making a noise, which the}' know 
 no one appreciates but themselves, Hke the lemon which Jack Wilks 
 handed to Dr. Johnson, gives a zest to the discomforts they undergo 
 in the pursuit of gain. 
 
 It is an ill wind which blows no one any good, and, so tradition 
 ran, the handsomely bound prizes, which were awarded to better 
 boys than I, were paid for, on the principle of robbing Peter to pa}' 
 Paul, from the fines imposed on the weaker brethren. And when 
 the long-looked-for Saturda}- came round, and after much hustling 
 and struggling with a crowd of other urchins, I reached the master 
 who distributed the coin, demanding my loaves and fishes, he only 
 gave me a stony stare, and curth' said, I might apply again on that 
 (lay month, for I had been fined a shilling for swarming up a tree. 
 
 I attempted to prove an alibi in vain. But at length I demon- 
 strated to the detective who sent in my name, that it was a case of 
 mistaken identity. He declined, however, to stultif}' himself, and 
 get back m}' coppers. " It was my own fault," he said, " I should not 
 be so like the other boy." Young as I was in the ways of the world, 
 I certainly considered this proceeding hardly fair, particularl}- as 
 the numbers which were marked on our clothes formed an easy 
 clue to identification, and as a rule, those who required information 
 would not hesitate to grab our caps, and slyl}' peep inside, much to 
 our mortification, and the entertainment of strangers passing by. 
 
 These numbers formed a never failing source of great delight to 
 forward maidens in the town, for in the gloaming, when we were all 
 locked up, they would appear in galaxies in front of the railings 
 by the broad Bath road, where, attracting our attention by various 
 antics and grimaces, they would point the finger archly, and declare 
 that although they might not know our names, they were well 
 acquainted with our numbers ; amid the ecstatic laughter of the 
 bystanders. 
 
 My weekly allowance was so often confiscated for some 
 offence, real or pretended, that it was hardly worth a struggle 
 presenting myself at the distributing chamber as each succeeding 
 
 c 
 
1 8 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Saturday came round, and consequently, like most of the other 
 boj's, I was very short of cash, which was sadh' needed to buy food, 
 especially during Lent, when we were well-nigh famished. 
 
 I remember with much gratitude all the money given me b}' 
 outsiders, and on counting it up, I find it amounts to £\ 12s. 6d., 
 during the eight-and-a-half years I remained at school. 
 
 The post-office officials were not so clever at detecting coin in 
 letters then as they are now, and it was a red letter day when we 
 found a coin, however small, inside an envelope sent by some 
 never-to-be-forgotten friend. Whenever I detected coin, which of 
 course was very seldom, I retired where I could open the envelope 
 unobserved, for unless the money was a good round sum, it was 
 very likely viewed with scorn by my companions, particularly by 
 those who never got anything at all. 
 
 A lad who sat next me, opening ^n envelope one day, incautiously 
 allowed a sixpence to fall out upon the table : and the small amount 
 caused considerable laughter, mingled with sarcastic comments, 
 very mortif^ang for the small recipient to hear. But he was equal 
 to the occasion, — pretending to read the letter through, he suddenly 
 called out, " Aha ! its all right ! you fellows have no need to laugh, 
 because I find, this piece of silver is merely a pioneer, in order to 
 ascertain whether a piece of gold, which is to follow, can travel 
 safely without detection." 
 
 My grandmother, who lived at the house with a bay window in 
 Portland Place, occasionally sent me presents, but, as she was told 
 that I fared " sumptuously as a king " at school, these generally 
 took the shape of books, and on one memorable occasion she sent 
 me " Hewitson's Eggs of British Birds," which first appeared about 
 that time. Although this work cost seven guineas I believe, money 
 was seldom better spent, its contents being much more suited to my 
 taste or mental calibre than grammar, and it is on my bookshelf 
 now. 
 
 As the old lady I have mentioned hailed from Ireland, she was 
 possessed of considerable native humour, and one day I received 
 
'But there m Peniird dog, no convent bell, 
 Naught but the wolf to howl their parting knell 
 
 Naught but th 'Xui ii i huistnis^thr iirjh the gl 5 im, 
 A torch to light them to their icj tomb 
 
 Front a Marlborough Prize Poem. 
 
 C2 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 21 
 
 from her a box of tablets, made with soap, to resemble gaily 
 coloured eggs. But these I did not care about, as the school was 
 liberal in the washing line. I was not satisfied however until I had 
 cut one open and tasted it, when finding further examination useless, 
 I presented box and all to the detective who had mistaken my 
 identity, hoping he would remember me another time. 
 
 Once I received a small hamper from Algiers, and on opening it I 
 found it contained, to my great delight, eggs, real eggs this time, of 
 the Roller, Bee-eater, and Barbary-partridge, all rare "British birds." 
 I did not meet the donor until many years had passed, and then I 
 told him how much pleasure he had given me ; I said I had marked 
 my calendar with a red letter on that day ; I had thought of him in 
 Palestine, when I found a colony of Bee-eaters building in a sand 
 bank, and so on, until he laughingl}' replied, that I reminded him of 
 the Yankee proverb, " Cast thy bread upon the waters, and it shall 
 return to thee, as buttered toast, after many days." 
 
 Several officers of the Franklin expedition dined at my grand- 
 mother's house shortly before they set out on their disastrous arctic 
 voyage, and Captain Fitz-James, who had taken a liking to me, 
 begged my people to let me accompany the expedition. Perhaps 
 my alleged propensity for climbing trees was considered good 
 training for keeping a sharp look-out from the mast-head. But 
 destiny had decreed that I should earn my bread within the tropics, 
 and so the proposal to turn me into a sailor came to nothing. 
 
 The Franklin expedition subsequently formed the subject of a 
 prize poem at Marlborough College, and considering the narrow 
 escape I had, I took much interest in it, and something resembling 
 a cold shudder came over me when the poet read out the lines, 
 which I have some reason to remember, and which I have always 
 thought are very good. 
 
 " But there, no Bernard dog, no convent bell. 
 Naught but the wolf to howl their parting knell, 
 Naught but th' Aurora, bursting through the gloom, 
 A torch to light them to their icy tomb." 
 
11 THE EARLY DAVS OF 
 
 Although I remember with gratitude, all the kind donations which 
 I received at school, one memorable half-crown proved of very little 
 use to me. A relation came posting through the town one day, 
 and remembering I was there, sent for me, and handed me the coin 
 I have mentioned, at that part of the road opposite to a pastry 
 warehouse much frequented by the school ; and when the carriage 
 rolled away I naturally strolled into the shop, to have a look round, 
 with the satisfaction of possessing power to purchase anything 
 tempting which I saw. 
 
 Unfortunately, I happened to arrive just as the stock of tarts, 
 which had been exposed for sale for many days, was being removed 
 to make room for fresher wares ; and the assistant in charge, who 
 had spied the interview which I had been holding near the carriage, 
 guessing that I was a capitahst, declared that I should make a 
 splendid bargain if I accepted all his damaged stock, in exchange 
 for the coin in my pocket. Contrary to my better judgment, I took 
 the bait, for several boys had come in, and were nudging me, and 
 having concluded the bargain, I gathered up my tarts, and hotly 
 pursued by a swarm of other boys, I hastened to the school, where I 
 shovelled my purchase into the desk which had been allotted for my 
 use. 
 
 The desk had no sort of fastening, and my only hope appeared 
 to be in taking up a position on top of the desk, and defending my 
 property as best I could. 
 
 What chance had a lad of eight, weighing about four stone, of 
 keeping back a legion of other boys all as hungry as himself? They 
 began the attack certainly with fair words, and politely demanded 
 that I should furnish them with a tart apiece, but finding me 
 deaf to their entreaties, they changed their tactics altogether, and 
 declared I was a little sneak for not sharing their socialistic views. 
 Then, what I thought a bright idea, occurred, 1 would bribe the 
 biggest boy to help me, and keep the others back. But when I 
 descended from my perch, and opening the desk, displayed the 
 tempting goods inside, the surging crowd no longer could be 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. i^ 
 
 restrained, for casting all decorum to the winds, they made a sudden 
 rush, which sent me flying over and over, till at last I landed on 
 my back upon the floor. And by the time I had regained my legs 
 every tart was gone. 
 
 If any of those robbers are living now, and have those tarts upon 
 their conscience, perhaps they will be glad to hear that I give them 
 absolution ; for, on mature reflection, I admit that our life at school 
 was one continued struggle for existence, with a survival of the 
 fittest. Probably their consciences give them very little trouble; 
 for many years after, whilst shooting in the Himalayas, I suddenly 
 appeared before one of those very knaves of tarts sitting quite 
 unconcernedly beneath a Tamarind tree, and after mutual recog- 
 nition, the incident I have mentioned was recalled ; but so far from 
 producing expressions of sorrow or regret, it caused such peals of 
 laughter, in which I was fain to join, that all the game in the vicinity 
 was scared away, and the woods, which subsequently we beat 
 together, were drawn blank. 
 
 This knave and I joined camps, and after dinner, before a roaring 
 tire of logs outside, old Marlborough stories vexed the drowsy ear 
 of night to such a scandalous extent, that our Jemadar at last, with 
 folded supplicating hands, heading a deputation, said, " Hiizour ! 
 Iskoul kl kahdni mi bollye, kiswaste tamam rat banda log ku nind nahin 
 ata,'" which, after compliments, means that our Marlborough stories 
 kept the entire camp awake. 
 
 This tart incident showed very clearly that, notwithstanding 
 my companions' studies in Latin grammar, they had still very hazy 
 ideas regarding the correct translation of meum and tuum ; so that 
 any property I had, or might hereafter acquire, would never be safe 
 unless properly secured under lock and key. 
 
 An order had lately been promulgated to the effect that any lad 
 who wanted a " playbox " could have one, with the consent of his 
 people at home, given by letter to the writing and ciphering master. 
 So I scrawled a letter home, evidently under the impression that 
 because I knew the writing master's name myself, everybody else, 
 
24 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 of course, must know it too. A short time after, I heard what to 
 me was really a dreadful sound. Like Alexander Selkirk, I gave a 
 start when anyone called my name out loud. In answer to the 
 summons, I went to the writing master, who seemed to sit uneasy 
 in his chair, and on his desk lay an open letter, which I recognised 
 at once. He said, but not unkindly, that a ridiculous mistake had 
 taken place, for my mamma had mistaken him for the carpenter, 
 and ordered him to make a box for me. I might perhaps have said 
 that anyone who did not know him would proclaim himself unknown ; 
 but I had learnt the golden rule of silence, and was dismissed with 
 the remark that the necessary order should be given, hut in the proper 
 quarter. 
 
 So far so good, I thought ; but when the playbox came, and was 
 duly deposited in the covered-playground, I had no property what- 
 ever to put in it. I had not long to wait, however. It was autumn 
 time, and the air was redolent with apples — a scent agreeable to 
 boys as toasted cheese is to a half-starved mouse. I sniffed the 
 tainted gale ; and presently saw a man struggling behind a barrow 
 which contained a hamper of unusual size, on which there fluttered 
 on the breeze a label bearing the name of a little boy I knew. I 
 hastened to him, told him the joyful news, and soon my newly 
 acquired key was drawn from my pocket and transferred to the 
 depths of his. Then I strolled away, and ran over in my mind the 
 apples which I liked the best. 
 
 Such were my thoughts when, with a wild hurrah, I saw my friend 
 shot out of the parcel-room, followed by his hamper, supported by 
 as many stalwart lads as could find a place around it, whilst a cry of 
 " Apples ! apples ! " re-echoed from the walls of the quondam inn, 
 and was passed from mouth to mouth, until pretty well the whole 
 school took up the scent and had assembled there. 
 
 At length the covered playground was reached, and then the 
 surging mass of boys was so great around my box, that little hope 
 remained that anything destructible could hold together. It was 
 quite impossible to get near ; but I heard my property cracking from 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 25 
 
 afar, and in less time than it takes me to record the fact, every apple 
 had disappeared, and m}' box was smashed to atoms. 
 
 My friend, when he could extricate himself, was a truly piteous 
 sight. Newly-made cider poured down his hair and face from the 
 over-ripe fruit crushed up against him ; first, in his endeavour to 
 protect his property and mine, and then in his frantic efforts to 
 escape. He very generously offered to recompense me for my loss — 
 at some future time. But I made no claim, particularly as he had 
 no assets of any kind ; and, after all, it was no great loss to me, for 
 I don't remember that I ever had any property which I could have 
 put in my playbox had it remained intact. 
 
 Whilst these scenes of rapine were being enacted out of doors, 
 there was not much inside the school which seemed likely to fulfil 
 the forecast which had been made at home, that my school days 
 would be full of joy. I was placed in the lowest class, and left 
 to learn the Latin grammar by myself; for no one ever took the 
 slightest trouble to teach me anything. 
 
 My master eyed me askance when I went up to class, and 
 murmured that a certain pricking, or itching in his thumbs, led him 
 to suppose that he must use his cane. A forecast which I found 
 was much more likely to come true than those which had been 
 made at home. The lessons appeared to him so easy, that he failed 
 to comprehend why I should find any difficulty at all, and so, 
 obeying the aphorism of Solomon, if I declined learning the three 
 concords or agreements in Latin, he would endeavour to beat them 
 into me with his cane. 
 
 The knoutings which I received from my master's reverend arm, 
 turned my back all the colours of the rainbow; and when I screamed 
 from the fearful torture they produced, the head-master would 
 send a prefect down to say, that if I made such a horrid noise, 
 he also would have a go-in at me, when my master had done his 
 worst. 
 
 Occasionally two masters would be caning at the same time, with 
 the rhythm of blacksmiths hammering on an anvil. 
 
26 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 lilt inter sese magna vi brachia tollunt 
 In numerum* 
 
 A village schoolmaster no\v-a-days, I am glad to say, would get a 
 month at the treadmill, with a sinister caution as to his future 
 behaviour, if he beat a boy as I was beaten at school, and when, 
 on m}' arrival home, I was undressed and put to bed by my tender- 
 hearted nurse, she viewed my back with the utmost horror and 
 indignation. But she was told that as the punishment had been 
 administered by reverend men called to the tninistry, I must have 
 deserved every blow I got. 
 
 I don't remember however that she was ever told who had called 
 them, and I was far too young, and inexperienced to demand an 
 enquiry with even the faintest scintilla of success. 
 
 In after years, when I looked up the Latin grammar, to which in 
 the meanwhile, some sensible and humane scholar had added an 
 English translation, it seemed easy enough, and I wondered why I 
 ever found any difficulty in understanding it, until I caught an 
 ordinary boy of eight years old, and began teaching him : then the 
 mystery was solved at once. 
 
 When I was still a little chap, and when there was but one school- 
 room for us all, some fifth form boys became stage-struck, and much 
 to my delight, gave a small theatrical performance, which I saw very 
 well by standing on a desk. 
 
 The play was of a nature very agreeable to bo3^s, and was called, 
 1 think, "Storming the Robbers' Den." Although no properties were 
 forthcoming, the scene was supposed to lie at a castle, surrounded 
 by a gloomy forest, which the band of robbers looked on as their 
 own. Suddenly a scout gave notice, that an attacking party had 
 arrived close by, and hardly were the words out of his mouth, than 
 a number of assailants appeared upon the scene, and a desperate 
 hand to hand encounter took place at once. Each party was armed 
 
 * "With lifted arm-> they oriler every blow, 
 
 And chime their .sounding haminerb in a row." 
 
 Dry Jen's Translation 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 27 
 
 with weapons which looked Hke biUiard cues, but as they were 
 made of paper, what appeared tremendous blows could be inflicted 
 without much damage being done. The fight went on so long as 
 the paper held together, and then amid vociferous cheering, the 
 so-called play was over. 
 
 But whatever it may be called, it was so decided a success that it 
 was determined to put upon the stage something more elaborate and 
 better. Tickets, price fourpence each, were accordingly issued to 
 cover expenses, and a fearful Tragedy, aided by three clowns, was 
 forthwith set in motion, and in due time placed upon the stage. 
 
 The spectators were disappointed, for the play was very dull. 
 Even the three clowns, to whom we looked for fun, were melancholy 
 exasperating fellows, who imbibing from the atmosphere around, 
 the curious notion that rudeness is synonymous with wit, confined 
 themselves chiefly to grimacing, and springing, monkey-fashion, at 
 the gas lamps overhead. Occasionally they would hurl opprobrious 
 epithets, of the cqni te esse feri similem dico * order at each other's 
 heads, or long false ears, a style of wit at which only old Horace, 
 or the friends of Peter Magnus, could possibly have smiled. 
 
 The author of the play, whoever he may have been, like Churchill, 
 was "a barren rascal,"! for even the most lively imagination could 
 not discover what it was all about. The Hero, chosen for his 
 supposed distingue air, strutted about the stage, clad in a velvet 
 suit, and slouched hat, surmounted with an ostrich feather, which 
 no doubt absorbed most of our entrance money, and as he 
 turned his back upon us nearly all the time, we could only catch 
 here and there a word he said. At length he threw upon a table a 
 dagger and a rope, but whether these were to polish off himself or 
 someone else was left involved in doubt and mystery. 
 
 The Heroine was an effeminate-looking lad, clad in the fearful 
 petticoats of those days, and to her belonged the credit of raising 
 a solitary laugh, for treading on a paper rose, she picked it up, and 
 
 Allow me to tell you, Sir, that I regard you as little better than a mad jackass, 
 t I have only the authority of Dr. Johnson for supposing that Churchill was " a barren rascal." 
 
28 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 with a grimace, which the clowns would have done well to imitate, 
 exclaimed, " Pretty flower, have I hurt you ? I will place you in my 
 bosom to make amends ! " 
 
 One master alone was present, but he soon nodded in his chair, 
 and slumbered to the end, when he was unpleasantly aroused by 
 the chorus of a song, to the tune of "John Peel," which was 
 supposed to cast a reflection of his face, " when he called up his 
 boys in the morning." 
 
 As the play fell so very flat, we heard no more of theatricals 
 during the time I remained at school. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 LTHOUGH among examples in the Latin grammar, 
 which caused so much tribulation and so many 
 tears in school, we find 
 
 O formose puer, nimitim ne crede colori, * 
 
 no one could fail to notice, that the good looking, 
 
 or rather pretty lads, were not so roughly treated as 
 
 those less favoured by dame nature. 
 
 Mimicry in insects, is said to be a cause of protection against 
 
 danger, and so Alexis or Hj'las, who might easily be mistaken for 
 
 Ps3'che, escaped the hard words and blows so freely showered on 
 
 their plainer brethren. 
 
 " Old Chang " who occupied the next bed to mine, was a good- 
 natured flat-nosed fellow with almond eyes. In China, amongst the 
 heathen there, he might perhaps have passed as quite a beauty, 
 but here he came in for more than his fair share of invective and 
 execration. Had Chang been offered any choice, he would gladly 
 have given his fellow students a wide berth, and by staying away 
 from school, never have allowed his homely features to annoy them, 
 but unfortunately he was helpless in the matter. The wind, 
 according to a celebrated author, is tempered to the shorn lamb. 
 
 * Don't trust too much to your beauty, pretty boy. 
 
30 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 though I never saw or even heard of a lamb deprived of its fleece 
 myself,! and Chang, so long as the repugnance shown towards him 
 was confined to words, sheered off, like Captain Cuttle, whenever 
 danger threatened, and habit having acquired the phase of second 
 nature, abuse which defiled its authors, although perhaps they did 
 not think so, made no more impression on Old Chang than rain on 
 the backs of water fowl. 
 
 We were enjoying some bread and cheese and radishes together, 
 during the preparation hour one evening, just before retiring to rest, 
 and as my friend was cramming these delicacies into his capacious 
 mouth, the presiding master " twigged " him, and making a few 
 rapid strides in our direction, and using his extended finger as a 
 lance in rest, he assuredly would have transfixed one of Chang's 
 almond eyes, had not that youth, who was always on the look out 
 for thrusts, or blows, or kicks, ducked his head, and caused the 
 master to fall over him, 
 
 " Speak gently, for 'tis better far 
 To rule by love than fear," 
 
 is good advice, but seldom followed at the school when I was there, 
 and so soon as the master could recover himself from his undignified 
 position, he roared out, as he prodded Chang in what we called the 
 wind, "Great, coarse, gluttonous fellow ! Go and stand out against 
 the wall, and write me out one hundred lines of Ovid." Poor Chang 
 had no kind friend to stand up for him in defence of his supposed 
 personal defects, and in this he was not so fortunate as an ape once 
 interviewed by me. 
 
 During my early years in India, I passed much of my time in 
 company with Edward Blythe, who was then the accomplished 
 curator of the museum at Calcutta. I was never weary of hearing 
 him talk about beasts, or birds, or fishes, and occasionally I would 
 
 _t My shepherd has shice told me, that although lamb's wool, on account of its short staple, is of little value, 
 dishonest farmers, when wool was worth half-a-crown per pound, instead of ninepence, as it is now, would 
 shear forward lambs, and put the wool inside the ewe's fleece, to increase the weight. He has also known 
 farmers send boys to pick wool off the hedges, where it had been torn by brambles, from the sheep. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 31 
 
 accompany him to the native market, where we might find perhaps 
 some rare bird, or curious fish, exposed for sale. One day we 
 interviewed an orang-outang, possessed by a wealthy native, and I 
 began in my usual reckless way, to make comments, far from 
 favourable to the brute. Blythe heard me with impatience, for so 
 far as I could learn, he thought ever}' created thing fitted the 
 situation it was called upon to occupy, and was beautiful in its way. 
 " Come ! come ! " he said, " let us have no more of this, or I shall 
 be compelled to tell you what that handsome ape is thinking now of 
 you." And eyeing me askance, he muttered something which 
 sounded like, " Those who live in glass houses should be careful 
 how they fling mud or stones about." 
 
 " The Origin of Species " had lately been published, and I read 
 with interest the correspondence which passed between Blythe and 
 Darwin. One of the letters declared that the only critique on the 
 Evolution theory, which demanded special notice, was one written 
 by a friend of mine, a youthful member of the Geological Survey, 
 and Darwin naively added, "My critic is a clever fellow;" as indeed 
 he was. 
 
 Much as I appreciate the society of savants, it has ver)- seldom 
 been my good fortune to enjoy it ; and the smattering of knowledge 
 which I possess, certainly affords ample reason for learned men to 
 give me what sailors call, plenty of sea-room. 
 
 The second time I was en route to India, on arriving at Marseilles, 
 I ran down to the cabin of the steamer which was to take me to 
 Alexandria, and put my card upon a plate in the saloon, as is the 
 custom when anyone wishes to secure a place at dinner. The same 
 evening, when all the passengers had assembled, I found myself 
 seated next to an intelligent-looking gentleman, who listened good- 
 humouredly whilst I talked on Natural History, and when the dinner 
 ended, I generously declared that, as we should have plenty of 
 spare time upon our hands during the coming week, I would put my 
 neighbour into the wa}' of knowing something about the classification 
 of birds and other animals, and, if he liked, I would even go further, 
 
32 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 and tell him about the strange forms of life which existed when the 
 world was young. 
 
 Afterwards, when I went on deck, I was talking to the captain, 
 and I told him how generous I had been. " B5' the bye," I said, 
 " who is that gentleman standing over there, abaft the binnacle ? 
 He sits next to me at dinner." 
 
 THE CHAPEL, MARLBOROUGH , COLLEGE. 
 (From a Photo by Seeley, Richmond Hill.) 
 
 " That gentleman," replied the captain, " is Pro — fessor Owen. 
 He is going to join the Prince of Wales in Egypt." 
 
 But although it can hardly be said that the shepherds who 
 presided over the flock at school, " allured us to brighter worlds and 
 led the way," they were determined that we should receive ample 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 33 
 
 religious instruction, such as it was. We were all driven, much 
 against our will, fifteen times a week to Chapel, where the service 
 was rendered far less irksome than it otherwise would have been, 
 by the singing ; for sufficient qualified voices were found among the 
 host at school to form a choir, which, had I not known the boys, 
 and watched their distorted faces whilst they sang, I might have 
 imagined came down direct from heaven. 
 
 The choir also treated us to a concert of secular music and songs 
 at the end of the half-year, when the excitement culminated with 
 Dulce Domum, in which the lads of the whole school joined, of 
 course at the summit of their voices. The great point aimed at 
 was to make the final syllable of resonemus sound like a pistol, or 
 rather, a cannon shot ; and Old Chang, who sat next to me, would 
 put his head almost between his knees, and when every echo of the 
 chorus had died away, and all were inhaling as much air as possible 
 to commence another verse, he would wildly scream out " mus," 
 as though his life depended on his arriving just in time to be too 
 late, and had adopted sero sed serio* for his motto. It had a very 
 comical effect, and made everybody laugh. I wonder if this conceit 
 has been executed at the Concerts since my time ; or has the march 
 of intellect made the boys consider themselves "a cut above it" 
 now ? 
 
 Naturally I longed to join this quasi-celestial choir, particularly as 
 certain advantages were appended to it, and as I had often given 
 " The ivy green," with much applause at home, I fancied I could 
 sing. Accordingly I presented myself one day before the reverend 
 man who presided at the choir, and in faltering tones informed him 
 what I wanted. But a single glance at my face appeared enough 
 for him to form an index to my throat. He did not tell me that my 
 services were not required, in such courteous terms as — 
 
 " Fusbos, give place ! 
 You know you hav'n't got a singing face." 
 
 * Late, but in earnest. 
 
34 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 all he said, as he told me to go about my business, was — " I'll 
 be bound to say you have no more voice than a pig." 
 
 The rustics in the neighbourhood had a fixed idea that our sole 
 object in coming to school was to acquire manners. But if they 
 had any cause to complain about our want of courtesy, they would 
 not have expected much had they seen the example set us by our 
 betters. If dispensing civility were a luxury which can only be 
 indulged in by the rich, there would have been some excuse for the 
 rudeness we received at school ; but considering that it costs nothing, 
 it might be surprising that we got so little, until we look outside the 
 iron railings, and see how prone mankind in general is to bully 
 those who cannot retaliate. 
 
 Sweeps, who in the great seminary outside, may be said to have 
 taken their places in the Lower School, tell me that the world, at 
 least the well-dressed portion of it, fear their resentment far too 
 much to be otherwise than polite and courteous whilst addressing 
 them. But tramps, without a home or friends, have often told me 
 they come in for much more than their proper share of rudeness, 
 though as a rule they say it does not affect them much. They get 
 so accustomed to it. 
 
 The " wilderness," where I was introduced to school, was soon 
 put out of bounds, but we could gaze into its dark recesses through 
 the railings which shut us out, and the tradition ran throughout the 
 Lower School, that fearful scenes were nightly enacted there, within 
 its gloomy caves and grottos. 
 
 Who were the actors on this dreadful stage ? Where did they 
 hail from ? Or why they should choose such a damp unpleasant 
 place, close to a school containing a host of boys? were questions 
 never asked or thought of. But one lad, who lingered near the 
 railings after the evening school bell rang, had heard distinctly, so 
 he said, most awful groans, as though the Thugs of India had taken 
 up their quarters, and were strangling a victim there. Another had 
 seen a mysterious light flitting to and fro among the trees, and 
 watched it until a piercing shriek sent him flying into the lighted 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 35 
 
 school. Whilst a third was fully prepared "to take his dying oath," 
 an expletive in frequent use at school, that he had heard somewhere 
 in that direction, an old woman's voice, exclaiming in heart-rending 
 tones, "Murder! murder! I'm lost! I'm lost! — For ever!" So 
 firmly did I believe these tales, that I retailed them to anyone who 
 would listen, when I arrived at home, and finding they were received 
 with suspicion accompanied by laughter, I became indignant, and 
 begged my people to write direct to Sergeant Bompas, and ask point- 
 blank whether I spoke the truth or not. 
 
 In recalling the early days of Marlborough College, the face and 
 form of Sergeant Bompas is pleasantly, if not affectionately remem- 
 bered. It was generally believed that he had fought at Waterloo, 
 and that the great victory was mainly due to him; but however that 
 may be, a deep dimple in his chin was pointed out as the scar of a 
 wound inflicted by the bayonet of a Frenchman, whose head Bompas 
 subsequently struck off. 
 
 I used to keep by the Sergeant's side whenever I saw him in the 
 playground ; and with such a protector, I did not fear to walk about 
 the place, even at night when the mohawks were about, sweeping 
 the ground with a long rope, as sailors sweep for a lost anchor, and 
 of course upsetting us when the rope came in contact with our legs. 
 It was a very dangerous amusement, but I don't remember that it 
 lasted very long. 
 
 The story of Bompas having discomfited the French does not 
 appear to have been confined within the College grounds. For 
 one day a tramp "in beer" appeared, and proclaiming himself in 
 unmistakable Irish accents to be a Frenchman, said that he had 
 come for the express purpose of avenging Waterloo, by challenging 
 Bompas to a single combat with his fists. The Sergeant, who 
 probably had seen enough of fighting, and wished to end his days 
 in peace, instead of accepting the challenge, slipped off to the town 
 to fetch the Beadle, whilst the tramp was for the present left master 
 of the field, or rather, of the high-road, whilst the whole school 
 witnessed his triumph, shown in sparring at imaginary foes, capering 
 
 D2 
 
36 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 about the place, and declaring he would fight the whole lot of us 
 all put together, single handed. 
 
 I doubt whether Wellington, on that memorable day in June, 
 looked more anxiously in the direction whence Blucher was expected 
 to appear, than we"did to the corner of the road leading to the 
 
 town. How slowly each minute 
 seemed to pass. But at length a 
 shrill cry went up in exultation, 
 "The Beadle! the Beadle!" and 
 if ever a scene was mentally photo- 
 graphed on mortal brain, that one 
 was fixed on mine. A gentle breeze 
 was blowing at the time, and the 
 appearance of the Beadle in cocked 
 hat, blue coat, red plush breeches, 
 white stockings, and pumps, the 
 flowing garments swelling out, and 
 floating in the gale behind, gave, in 
 the distance, an appearance of a 
 gaily decorated ship in full sail. 
 
 The old man's hair was long, and 
 
 white as snow, and he carried in his 
 
 hand the staff of office, which ever 
 
 and anon he brandished defiantly in 
 
 the air above his head, whilst, in 
 
 accents trembling from age, but 
 
 certainly not from fear, glancing 
 
 upwards to the high ground where 
 
 we stood, in answer to our ringing cheers, he said, " I'm not afraid 
 
 of him;" and then, shaking his head, he repeated the same 
 
 encouraging words. 
 
 The entire unwashed population of Marlborough town followed 
 in the old man's wake, whilst we now held our breath in expectation, 
 and wondered how it all would end. It was, indeed, an impressive 
 
 THE BEADLE. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 37 
 
 scene, and one well calculated to strike terror in the pseudo-French- 
 man's heart, for after giving the Beadle one long drunken stare, he 
 turned and fled down the Bath road, followed by such a scream of 
 derisive jeers and laughter as never was heard near Marlborough 
 town before. 
 
 The Beadle, after making a succession of bows with great dignit}^ 
 then withdrew, amid great cheering from us all, so long as he and 
 his tag-rag and bob-tail train remained in sight. 
 
 When all was over, Sergeant Bompas, somewhat crestfallen, 
 reappeared upon the scene ; and then a rumour flew from mouth to 
 mouth that the tramp would certainly reappear, and, under cover of 
 the night, murder Bompas while he slept. Personally, I feared that 
 such a tragedy would occur, and I could not rest until I had the 
 assurance of the Sergeant that, armed to the teeth, he intended 
 to sit up all night, and be upon his guard. 
 
 But although, much to my relief, poor old Bompas survived that 
 night, he did not long remain as my protector at the school. He 
 was not quite up to the required standard as a detective, and he had 
 a soul above the petty tyranny expected of him. He also closed his 
 eyes to many youthful escapades, such as climbing trees, and going 
 out of bounds. When the half-year ended, he would go into the 
 town and buy cigars and medicine-bottles full of rum, which, we 
 had heard, would keep us warm during the terrible cold journey 
 home by coach. 
 
 I and another boy — but that must have been later on — subscribed 
 from our journey-money, and got some of these supposed caloric 
 generators, but as I did not relish either, my companion took my 
 share, and got so drunk that he was obliged to be left behind. 
 The meerschaum pipe which I had bought, however, was in my 
 pocket on my arrival home. Our butler found it when he took 
 down my clothes to brush, and it was the first thing which met my 
 father's eyes on the dining-room table, when he came down to 
 breakfast next morning. I was rather taken aback when I heard 
 what had occurred, for in my joy at getting home, I had forgotten 
 
j8 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 all about the pipe. My father, wisely viewing the matter merely as 
 a joke, made no unpleasant comments ; whilst I, glad to get rid 
 of the article altogether, presented it to my friend the postman, 
 who tells me he has it now. 
 
 It must not be supposed however that I learnt absolutely nothing 
 at school, for I learnt some useful lessons, which, although not directly 
 set down in the curriculum of the school, were taught in a far more 
 summary manner than I should have acquired them at home, and 
 amongst these was the general truth of the saying — 
 
 " O, what a tangled web we weave, 
 When first we study to deceive ! " 
 
 One day there occurred to me what seemed a ver}' bright and 
 original idea. Possibly I might escape many of the evils to which 
 I was exposed at school, b}- placing myself on the sick list ; and 
 thinking such a ruse was one for which I might eventually take out 
 a patent, I revealed it to my brother, who thought it so very 
 ingenious that we determined to put it forthwith into execution. 
 
 Accordingly, assuming a sad and dejected air, we presented 
 ourselves at the surgery and rang the bell, the sound of which 
 frightened us not a little, as now there appeared no retreat, even had 
 we wished it. 
 
 Presently a charwoman appeared and asked us what we wanted ; 
 to which we replied that we desired to see the doctor, as neither of 
 us was feeling very well. Thereon the good lady, who probably had 
 picked up some knowledge of medicine, and its collateral incidents, 
 gave us so very little encouragement, that, had we been wise, we 
 should have bolted back to school. But in our innocence, we sat 
 down on a bench until the doctor should appear. 
 
 Dr. Gardiner was a very worthy man, and kind withal, for he 
 always began a consultation with, "And what's the matter with you, 
 dear boy ? " Report ran, that he had fought side by side with 
 Bompas at Waterloo, and had horses killed under him on that 
 eventful day. But on our eventful day, as there was a clean 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 41 
 
 bill of health, unfortunatel)- for us, he deputed an assistant of the 
 Jack Hopkins stamp to attend the surgery, and this youth presently 
 came striding in, and greeted us with such a loud " Hulloa ! " that 
 had we been suffering from some nervous disease, it would have 
 done us quite as much good as an electric shock. After running his 
 eye over us for some moments, he curtl}^ demanded from my 
 companion information as to what ailed him, and receiving the 
 answer, which we had previously agreed upon, " A headache and a 
 pain in my side," he burst out laughing, and turning to me, said he 
 would go bail that I had a similar complaint. With a slight groan 
 I admitted that his clever diagnosis was correct, feeling all the time 
 that some terrible disaster was impending, and so it proved to be. 
 For retreating into an inner closet where the drugs were kept, he 
 presentl}' re-appeared with two formidable-looking glasses, each filled 
 with a dark and nauseous draught, which, nolens, volens, he made 
 us swallow, whilst adding insult to injury, he kept up a continuous 
 peal of laughter, until finally we found ourselves ejected from the 
 door. 
 
 Although our interview with the doctor ended so disastrously 
 to us both, we thought we would have another trj' before giving up 
 all hope of getting away from school, and admitting the truth of the 
 Eastern proverb, Takdir se lara nahin jata, or "It is useless to 
 contend against our fate." So my brother scrawled a letter home, 
 saying, that from what he had observed, I was evidently in a very 
 critical condition as regards my health, and unless we were both 
 removed from school at once, our people might fear the worst. 
 This letter, which subsequently was a never failing source of mirth 
 whenever alluded to at home, when first received, was the subject of 
 much comment, alike in parlour, nursery, and servants' hall, and it 
 ended in my father mounting a swift horse and riding post haste 
 to Marlborough College, where he demanded the latest bulletin 
 regarding his secundus son. But nobody could make out exactly 
 what he meant. It was true that Number 156 had been treated as 
 an out-door patient, for " headache and pain in his side," but as he 
 
42 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 had not put in an appearance at the surgery again, it was assumed 
 that he was convalescent. Moreover, on enquiry from the Sergeant, 
 it was discovered that 156 was at that moment enjoj'ing a game at 
 leap-frog, near a point where he could be safely viewed without the 
 disturbance which a personal interview might occasion. 
 
 Such an excellent suggestion was at once carried into effect, and 
 my father was led to a window on the left side of the entrance to 
 the old hotel, where he remained until he saw me, as he often 
 afterwards declared, spring at least a foot higher in the air than 
 any other boy. Then, mounting his steed, he rode home again ; 
 though perhaps more slowly than he came. 
 
 But at length the first holidays of Marlborough College, although 
 I thought they would never come, actually arrived, and on the 20th 
 
 December, 1843, as I 
 was getting into bed, 
 and as m}' friend 
 Chang, who occu- 
 pied the bed next to 
 mine, was taking 
 dire vengeance for 
 all the rough treat- 
 ment he had received 
 during the past half- 
 year, by singing the 
 doggerel lines, which 
 for some days past 
 had been in the 
 mouths of all the 
 Lower School, one of 
 the maids came into 
 the room and told me 
 that my father had 
 arrived, and would take me home next day. If the ecstatic feeling 
 which came over me could have been prolonged for ever, life would 
 
 "YOUR FATHER HAS ARRIVED." 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 43 
 
 be indeed worth living. The hours since I came to school had 
 seemed so long, and there had been so many landmarks to count 
 them b}^ that I had begun almost to think there was no such place 
 as home ; it must be a mere phantom of my brain. But I should 
 actually see it again to-morrow ! 
 
 At that time, my school, college, and Indian career appeared like 
 futurity in front. But in after years, when they had all passed, like 
 a dream, behind, I drove down to Marlborough along the road 
 which my father and his embryo school-boys had taken in August, 
 1843, and I paid a visit to the attic. 
 
 The thoughts which crowded on m}' memory might have affected 
 me perhaps, like those described b}- the poet, when he stood on the 
 moon-lit bridge, had not the humorous figure of my old friend 
 Chang risen up before me, singing his sarcastic couplet — 
 
 " Good-bye College, good-bye Schools. 
 Good-bye all ye Marlborough fools." 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 LTHOUGH the first few days of our first holidays 
 
 were certainly pleasant as the flowers in Eden, 
 
 the " characters " which followed us and were duly 
 
 delivered by the postman, bore unmistakable marks 
 
 of the serpent's trail ; for mine consisted of the 
 
 laconic symbols, " U." and " R.," which would have 
 
 required the intervention of a Daniel or a wizard 
 
 to interpret, had not a foot-note explained that " U." implied that 
 
 my progress as a scholar was Unsatisfactory, and that my conduct 
 
 had been Reprehensible. 
 
 How could a boy be happy with such appendages as these ? I 
 began to think that there were too many parson's sons about, and 
 that the world generally would much prefer our room to the honour 
 of our company — as no doubt it would ; nor was it any consolation 
 to consider that others were as little regarded as myself. 
 
 Just then a bachelor from a neighbouring parish strolled in to tea. 
 He said an " urchin " at Marlborough College called him uncle, 
 and, during his milder, weaker mood had extracted the promise of 
 a cake. " You know," he said blandly looking round, " how good 
 my cakes are; indeed, they are justly celebrated for miles around." 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 45 
 
 " Then how pleased your nephew must have been to get one," 
 somebody remarked, " for I suppose he does not get much cake at 
 school ! " 
 
 " But stay ! " exclaimed the uncle, as he poured some cream into 
 his cup, " I was going to explain, when you interrupted me ; I was 
 about to tell my housekeeper to send the urchin one of the next 
 lot she made, when, much to my surprise, and I may add also, 
 to my sorrow, I received a letter from my nephew, saying that he 
 hoped I would send him five shillings too." 
 
 " Well now, I call that very covetous ! " another caller cried, 
 " pray, what did you do ? " 
 
 " Do ! why, of course, I sent him neither." 
 
 Whatever my father and mother may have thought about the 
 sweeping condemnation which arrived from school, it was received 
 with great indignation by the various members of the household, 
 and also in the stables and the garden. My father at once wrote off 
 for further information, whilst my mother, thinking that there must 
 some mistake, made me scrawl a letter to a magician or whatever 
 he called himself, who about that time undertook, for a fee, to 
 delineate character from handwriting. I passed the time until the 
 answers came in considerable alarm, for I knew too well my utter 
 helplessness to defend myself, whatever might be said ; and, more- 
 over, there were two high crimes and misdemeanours which I thought 
 might possibly be scored against me. 
 
 The first was this : one day my master unexpectedly ordered all 
 his class to bring for his inspection any books of light reading 
 which we possessed ; although very few of the boys had any to 
 produce, I happened to have two, and these soon found their way to 
 the master's desk. One was " The Newgate Calendar," which was 
 confiscated at once, with the withering remark that it was clear 
 I contemplated gaining my daily bread on the Queen's highway, or, 
 " As a plough-boy," my master added, after a pause, which was 
 spent in examining my other book, Howitt's " Boys' Country Life." 
 I can hardly suppose that this latter book was " bagged," as we 
 
46 THE EARLY DAYS OF' 
 
 called this phase of robbery at school, for it was given me by my 
 mother. But if it was, and is in the College library now, I should 
 be glad to have it back, and " The Newgate Calendar " too, as they 
 were probably first editions, and worth money now. 
 
 The second cause for anxiety was, that in the early College days, 
 before we had a Chapel to ourselves, we used to attend the Parish 
 Church from whose old tower the curfew nightly rang ; and there 
 on Sundays, we were put through a fearful ordeal which was called 
 "being Catechised," but which was really little better than a 
 burlesque for the entertainment of outsiders and the College 
 servants, who crowded in the gallery to hear the extraordinary 
 questions asked and answers given. 
 
 Q. " The eighth commandment, boy ? " 
 
 A. " Thou shalt not steal." 
 
 Q. " Do you ever pick or steal ? " 
 
 A. "No." 
 
 Q. " Do you ever soil your clothes or books ? " 
 
 No answer, on which the question is repeated. 
 
 A. With trepidation, " Sometimes." 
 
 " There ! " exclaimed the Catechist, triumphantly, " you rob your 
 parents, and break the eighth commandment." 
 
 " O, you little rogue ! " a saucy damsel, who assisted in the College 
 laundry, cried to me one da}', amid the loud laughter of several 
 companions equally saucy. " Oh, you wicked little rogue ! " she 
 repeated, pointing to a patch of mud upon my trqusers, the result 
 of failing to surmount a fence, " I feel quite ashamed of you, I do ! 
 for robbing your poor pa and ma." 
 
 When the answer to my father's letter about the symbols arrived 
 however, no mention of either of these incidents was made, much 
 to my relief. As regards my progress, it explained that I seemed to 
 take no delight in Latin grammar, and as regards my conduct, on 
 enquiry and after much rummaging among black-books, the worst 
 offence they could fairly charge me with was a propensity for 
 damaging trees by " swarming up them ; " a charge which, perhaps, 
 
Lochwood Secundus {No. 156), fuii^ly started " On the Road, 
 according to his Marlborough Master's prediction. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 49 
 
 would have been omitted, had Darwin's " Descent of Man " been 
 pubhshed then. A postscript added, that I was " very volatile." 
 
 The answer my mother got, to my great delight, was most 
 triumphant ; for it roundly, and at considerable length, declared 
 that I possessed every virtue which was known to man. And it had 
 the effect of making everyone about the place, from my old nurse 
 down to the lad who helped in the garden, declare that my friend 
 Chang had much reason to sing, as his adieu, 
 
 " Good-bye College, good-bye schools, 
 Good-bye all ye Marlborough fools." 
 
 My mother was anxious that this character should be flourished 
 before my masters, but I showed it to my companions on my return 
 to school, and they also consulted the sly magician, much to the 
 satisfaction of both parties. 
 
 Besides my instinct for climbing trees, I possessed a great 
 propensity for catching birds, and much of my time during the 
 holidays was passed in alluring birds beneath a sieve propped up 
 by a stick, with a long string communicating to the window or 
 tree behind which I stood concealed. Small birds were much 
 scarcer in the village then than they are now, for in the Spring 
 nearly every nest was robbed by the village boys, for the sake of a 
 small reward given by the farmers who regarded small birds as their 
 foes. Consequently I caught very few, but when I did catch one 
 I wrung its neck and roasted it by the saddle-room fire, carefully 
 turning it on an impromptu spit formed with a piece of string. 
 Robins shared the fate of less familiar birds ; and when anyone 
 pleaded on their behalf, I considered I had eifectually disposed of 
 any misdirected sentimentality on their behalf by quoting the 
 current tradition of the village, " that robins, although apparently 
 so innocent and holy, in reality are fearful hypocrites, if not the 
 most depraved of all the feathered race ; as the young ones, on 
 attaining maturity, invariably combine and massacre their parents." 
 
 At night I would also surprise the wretched birds asleep in 
 
50 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 rick-yards, and even the ivy-mantled tower of the Church formed 
 no certain haven of refuge for their repose, though now I should 
 view such a proceeding as little less than sacrilege. But boys are 
 naturally cruel animals ; and as I disregarded the aphorism, 
 " Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy," perhaps 
 many will think I am put out of court when I complain of the 
 rough treatment which I received at school. 
 
 Besides killing the robins, occasionally I would tame them, and 
 teach them to fly on to my hand, or take bread from between my 
 lips. Only lately I had two which would fly down from the trees 
 on to my hand or shoulder on being called, much to the surprise of 
 persons looking on, and who did not know before how easily their 
 confidence may be gained. I have determined, however, not to tame 
 any more, as they are certain to come to an untimely end. 
 
 I have never lost m}- taste for bird's-nesting ; but now I am 
 content to view the eggs in situ and leave them there. Nor would 
 it be supposed that I have lost my taste for enticing birds beneath a 
 sieve, as such a trap, or something like one, is before my window 
 now. 
 
 In my youthful days, as I have already said, small birds were 
 scarce, and bullfinches in the village were quite unknown ; but 
 now, from various causes, they abound and do much damage in the 
 garden ; for in the winter the buds of fruit-trees, which form almost 
 their only food, are no bigger than a small pin's head, and as at 
 least five hundred are picked off each day by a single bird, a 
 calculation may easily be made how many embryo gooseberries or 
 plums, a flock of twenty birds, such as I have often seen, will, during 
 the long winter months, consume. 
 
 Frank Buckland had a mistaken notion that these pretty birds do 
 more good than harm, but I imagine there was no garden attached 
 to his London house ; and had he seen, as I do almost every day, 
 these rascals chmbing up the branches, picking off the buds, and 
 eventually destroying the trees themselves, he would proclaim their 
 usefulness no longer. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 51 
 
 I can tolerate the presence of any other bird, for with the aid 
 of nets, cotton, and wire guards, I can Hmit their depredations. 
 But it is impossible to cover high trees eifectually with nets, 
 particularly in winter, for the first fall of snow lodging on the net 
 would break the branches down. Consequently there is war between 
 the bullfinches and me. During a deep snow I caught nineteen 
 bullfinches under my sieve, though, perhaps, some may say, " Why 
 not make it a score at once ? " But, like the Yankee sportsman — 
 who declared he had killed nine hundred and ninetj^-nine pigeons at 
 a single shot — I must respectfully decline to record what is not 
 strictly true for the sake of a paltry bullfinch. I put all my captives 
 into cages, where they seemed as happy as the day — plenty to eat 
 and drink, constant society, no rates nor taxes ; what more could 
 they possibly want ? But a tender-hearted lady opened their prison 
 doors one day and let them fly, with the result that they refused to be 
 enticed again. They build their nests in the trees around my house, 
 in company with countless other birds, and all of them appear to 
 think that' my garden belongs to them, and was created solely for 
 their pleasure ; and, after all, I should be sorry to live here without 
 them and their never-ceasing melody in Spring. 
 
 There is a good deal of hypocris}' often perpetrated regarding the 
 destruction of birds and animals in gardens and elsewhere. That 
 arrant humbug, Friar Tuck, when he grew too fat to hunt, protested, 
 we are told, against anyone hurting the " pretty deer ; " and people 
 who have been remorseless bird-nesters in their youthful days will 
 occasionally rate their children for taking eggs. One old lady, whose 
 homilies we often meet with in children's books, and who rejoices, by 
 the way, I think, in the appropriate name of Walker, tells us in pious 
 grief how she rebukes her offspring for chasing a gaudy butterfly ; 
 but being asked whether she extends her protection to slugs and 
 snails, she naively answers, " No ! because they eat the fruit ! " 
 indeed, she may be seen dipping such things into boiling water or 
 "sugaring" them with hme. Her infirmity and age preclude her 
 from joining in the chase, but like Waterton's " Daddy Quashi," she 
 
52 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 can plav a good finger and thumb over strawberries and cream. In 
 fact, she clearly hopes to 
 
 " Condone for faults she is inclined to, 
 By damning those she has no mind to." 
 
 Besides the pleasure I derived from climbing trees and catching 
 birds, we often had lively scenes within the village. The railroad 
 which joins Oxford with Worcester, passing through the Rectory 
 glebe, was being constructed, and hundreds of navvies found a 
 lodging here. They were a strange rough lot, such as one might 
 expect to meet in a new gold or diamond field abroad. The village 
 constables were powerless to stop any disturbance which they chose 
 to make, and our chief safety lay in their getting high wages for 
 piecework, so, as a rule, most of their buo5^ant spirits were 
 consumed in a praiseworthy direction. But when the snow lay deep 
 upon the ground in Winter and work was stopped, they passed most 
 of their time in the public houses, from which they would at length 
 emerge well primed for mischief. 
 
 It was at such a time as this, when late one night, we were 
 startled by a loud hammering at the Rectory door accompanied b}' 
 shouts outside, and my father, who was reading by the fire, started 
 up, closely followed by my brother and myself. Somewhat rashly, the 
 door was opened, when a stalwart navvy attempted to effect an 
 entrance, cheered on by comrades from below. My father was about 
 to collar the man, when I handed him an oaken hat-stand which 
 was near, and then all three of us, using this engine of war as a 
 battering-ram, drove it straight against the waistcoat of our 
 assailant, and sent him fiying down the stone steps much faster than 
 he came up. Seeing this, and noticing that a crowd of men were 
 coming on, I flew upstairs, and in less than no time handed my 
 father the loaded gun which he always kept in his bedroom in those 
 troubled times. Then the navvies, seeing ours was a formidable 
 stronghold to attack, prudently withdrew, contenting themselves 
 with a burst of boisterous laughter at the discomfiture of their mate. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 53 
 
 We complained next day to the contractor, a man of great size 
 and strength, and whom, so the story ran, the navvies feared, as he 
 had won many battles as a prizefighter. He took us down the line 
 to identify our assailant, who however had thought it prudent to 
 decamp. 
 
 During the holidays I spent a good deal of my time very 
 pleasantly in the company of the Rev. James Beck,* who, much to 
 my satisfaction, had come to Churchill, the next village, as curate. 
 He possessed what I considered a splendid collection of eggs ; and 
 indeed he collected ever}i:hing which appeared either curious or 
 rare. His house, from cellar to garret, was crammed with specimens 
 of old locks, rings, stamps, turnpike tickets, book-plates, flint 
 implements — nothing came amiss ; and reading up information 
 about these things he became quite an encyclopedia of knowledge, 
 so much so that I don't remember ever asking a reasonable question 
 which he could not answer. 
 
 He was very popular with us all, as also with our neighbours — 
 rich and poor alike. Through him I acquired a collection of 
 sea-birds' eggs, which I was never tired of exhibiting to the farmers, 
 in fact to anyone whom I could induce to view them. The 
 " Foolish Guillemot," on such occasions, came in for a full share of 
 dissertation ; those who were overflowing with hilarity begging me 
 to repeat the bird's name for their amusement ; whilst the Q^^;g of 
 the Shearwater Petrel would generally elicit the wager of "a 
 guggle " t that I had " fetched it from a hen-roost," until I drew 
 attention to its musky odour. 
 
 When I went to India, my brothers, who subsequently followed 
 me, would apply to Mr. Beck for information which no one else 
 could give ; and the answer which perhaps is best remembered — for 
 to this day it is often quoted by my brothers, accompanied with 
 laughter and a laconic jerk of the thumb over the left shoulder — is 
 " String 'em up ! String 'em up ! " the question being, how the 
 
 * Now Rector of Bildeston, Suffolk. 
 t An empty snail-shell is called " a guggle" here, and gambling seldom extends beyond " guggle" wagers. 
 
54 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Government would serve the Sepoys who just then were supposed 
 to be kilHng me ? 
 
 Tom Phipps, our village postman, when off duty was also my 
 frequent companion, and although he is unknown beyond a few 
 miles from home, he may fairly be added to the list of remarkable 
 men whom this neighbourhood has produced. 
 
 Warren Hastings was born at Churchill, as was William Smith, 
 who is alluded to on a monolith raised to his memory as the 
 " Father of English Geology." Their heads made them famous ; 
 but Tom's legs have raised him on the pedestal of fame, inasmuch 
 as he has walked a greater number of miles than any other man 
 who ever lived. 
 
 His postal duties, commencing in 1840, have taken him over 
 400,000 miles, of which he has walked 350,000, and had he gone 
 straight on, instead of imitating the pendulum of a clock, he would 
 have walked more than fourteen times round the world on the line of 
 its greatest circumference. An estimate might be made of the 
 number of letters which have been under his charge and delivered, 
 but when we speak of millions the mind fails to grasp such numbers, 
 and it will be more to the point to remark that he has never lost 
 a letter, and however numerous may be the times, during more than 
 half-a-century, he has had to present himself at the post-office, 
 he has never been behind time, or reprimanded for any fault or 
 dereliction of duty. He has to rise, Summer and Winter, between 
 four and five a.m., and when he returns home about eight p.m., and 
 has had his supper and a pipe, he is ready to seek repose, which 
 will enable him to start again next morning. 
 
 Tom can count his holidays on his fingers. When I first returned 
 from India, he went with me to London for three days ; we put up 
 at the Langham Hotel, and saw all that could be seen in so short a 
 time. But this short glimpse of happiness, derived from a life of 
 luxury and ease, made his post-bag and boots appear so heavy on his 
 return to duty, that he took the hint and has since become some- 
 what shy of holidays, or anything which might interfere with his 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 55 
 
 present life of long hours, hard work, and contented state of 
 mind. 
 
 He has many stories of various curious events, which have 
 occurred on his route during the past half century, and these he' 
 tells with much natural humour, and action when gesture is likely to 
 improve the story. But I will only record one event, which 
 illustrates the endurance of the human body and the force of habit. 
 
 Tom had gone over his route of twenty-five miles the day of the 
 great snowstorm in January, 188 1, and on presenting himself at the 
 Churchill Post-office at seven p.m. found that he was the only officer 
 who had faced the storm. He then had to return home, and on the 
 way he got into a snowdrift which had filled the road breast high. 
 Through this he struggled for an hour, incased in a sheet of ice 
 which fitted him like a suit of armour ; but at length he got through 
 the drift. At that point there is an outlying cottage, the inmates of 
 which, hearing him call for help, ran out, and, as they told me 
 afterwards, found the postman very nearly " cast away." They 
 assisted him to his house, which was close by, and there his clothes 
 were cut off him, and he was lifted into bed, where he remained 
 apparently unconscious of all that was going on around. 
 
 Commodore Wilks tells a story of a sailor who fell from a 
 yard-arm upon the deck, and everyone thought the man was dead ; 
 the usual restoratives having been tried in vain. At length the 
 grog-bell rang," and then the man opened his eyes and requested that 
 he might be furnished with his share. 
 
 The clock striking at the usual hour had a similar effect on Tom, 
 for hearing it he sprang up, put on his private clothes — his 
 uniform suit had been cut to shreds — and going a different road to 
 that which had caused him so much trouble the previous night, he 
 presented himself, much to the astonishment of the postmaster, at 
 the usual hour. He was ordered to return, as no mails had come ; 
 and indeed he needed rest, as his hands were frost-bitten and 
 covered with large blisters. The nails also fell off his fingers, and 
 to use his own expression, " they never came in any form again." 
 
56 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OE 
 
 Tom often declares that he loves his Queen and Country; and I 
 think we may fairly add that Her Majesty, or at least the Post- 
 office, has no more efficient servant in his humble line as "rural 
 letter-carrier." I was in the Riviera at the time of this great 
 snowstorm, but when I returned to England in the Spring, Tom's 
 narrow escape was still a nine days' wonder in the village. 
 
 A deep cutting, thirty feet deep, which divides my farm, was quite 
 half filled with drifting snow, and the railway ganger told me he 
 hastened to the next station and reported the line as "blocked;" 
 but when the first train came in the engine-driver told him to get 
 up into the guard's van behind. 
 
 " What's the use of that ? I tell you you can't get on." 
 " Get up behind!" the driver said sharply, "and I will soon show 
 you whether it is blocked or not." 
 
 The ganger did as he was told, wondering what would happen. 
 The driver, putting on full speed, ran at the drift and got on as far 
 as he could, then reversing his engine, went back some distance, 
 and at it he went again and again, until at last he got right through. 
 The ganger told me afterwards, that when he saw the snow fiying 
 about on all sides, in what he considered a terrific manner, he hung 
 on as best he could to the guard's van, expecting every moment 
 would be his last. " But," I said, " the driver must have known 
 what he was about, and probably had been at that game before." 
 
 In this cutting large 
 quantities of Mammoth's 
 bones were found and sold 
 for beer to anyone who 
 cared to take them away, 
 and thinking I might do a 
 good stroke of business if 
 I could find gravel near 
 the surface, one winter 
 day I took a gang of men 
 
 SKELETON OF THE MAMMOTH. (N UU fcCt high) . whO thCH WCre OUt Of 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 57 
 
 work, and sank some shafts, the ganger of the railway being with 
 me. Whilst we were in the midst of the work, a lady and gentleman 
 rode up and anxiously enquired what we were all about ; and whilst 
 I was turning over in my mind how I could give a reply in the fewest 
 words, the ganger cut in and said, " We are trying to strike ile !" 
 
 There is much native humour in our village, and native genius 
 too, though the scanty supply of words the labourer knows presents 
 a formidable barrier across his road to knowledge. But although 
 such fine words as primeval and employe may at present be absent 
 from the labourers' vocabulary, the schoolmaster is abroad ; the 
 County Council is instructing us, and the time apparently is coming 
 when the ploughboy, as he turns the furrow, instead of enjoying 
 that happy state of mind " thinking about nothing," will work out 
 square roots and attempt to solve the problem, '' Why the pebbles 
 he throws out of the boulder clay are water-worn, and how they got 
 there ; " but it will be painful work, for nature never intended the 
 brain and body to work hard together. 
 
 During the deep ploughing lately going on at Kingham Hill, a 
 large skeleton was unearthed, which, judging from the rusty weapons 
 lying near, savants pronounced to be that of a Roman soldier, thus 
 fulfilling a prophecy uttered nearly two thousand years ago : — 
 
 Scilicet et tempus veniet, cum jinibus illis 
 Agricola, incurvo terram molitus aratro, 
 Exesa inveniet scabra rubigine pila, 
 A ut gravibus rastris, galeas pulsabit inanes, 
 Grandiaque effossis, mirabitur ossa sepulcris.* 
 
 About the same time that the skeleton was found, some workmen 
 turned out of the blue lias clay close by, the bones of a huge 
 fish-lizard, which could easily have snapped up any human warrior 
 coming in its way. Had these bones been found in the dark ages, or 
 
 * " The time shall come when the farmer, who occupies the land there, shall find rusty weapons, and shall 
 wonder at the size of the bones turned up by the ploughshare." My friend, Mr. George Phillips, owns a good 
 deal of the land on Kingham Hill, and the Poet writes : — 
 
 '■'Erg^o inter sese paribus concurrcre teiis, 
 Romanas acies ittrutn vidtre Philipii." 
 
58 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 only one hundred years ago, it is 
 not unlikely that we should have 
 a legend in our village about a 
 dragon, which long had kept 
 the country in dismay, until 
 killed by a knight who also 
 perished in the encounter. But 
 geology has dispelled many of 
 the myths of days gone by. 
 
 Words to the above effect, 
 though, I fear, in imperfect 
 English, were scattered around 
 me when I formed the centre of 
 a group of men viewing the 
 bones in situ, and growing 
 eloquent, I referred to the 
 Roman occupation of England, 
 of which my audience had no 
 previous knowledge. I went 
 still further, and made some 
 crude remarks about primeval 
 man, who in very ancient days 
 had occupied the hill where we 
 were standing ; this also was 
 news, as my companions had 
 never heard of such a gentleman 
 before. I was able to illustrate 
 my remarks by exhibiting a 
 picture of a railway cutting, 
 where the bones of primeval 
 man were found ; and I pointed 
 to an employe with a pipe in 
 his mouth, perched on the 
 summit of the bank to show 
 its height. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 59 
 
 What pleasure there is in diffusing knowledge which is appreciated 
 by an attentive audience ; and looking round with feelings of 
 satisfaction, I asked what they thought about it all ? The spokes- 
 man of the party thanked me for my lecture, and speaking for his 
 mates, he said that whilst they felt sorry that the dragon had killed 
 the ancient warrior, their spirits revived when they saw that 
 primeval man enjoyed his 'bacca apparently with the same relish as 
 we do now. 
 
 Few of us regret that Great Britain is an island ; the surrounding 
 seas present a formidable obstacle to hostile nations, but at the 
 same time many strange and beautiful forms of life, which otherwise 
 might visit us, are kept away. In India, almost every day I saw 
 some new beast, or bird, or flower ; and it was well worth keeping 
 a sharp look-out at all seasons of the year, for even on Christmas 
 Day a cuckoo might be sitting silent in my garden, or swallows 
 be seen leisurely circling round undisturbed by domestic cares. 
 Perhaps, in a gloomy tamarind-tree a huge horned-owl would turn 
 his sleepy eyes below, or a colony of egrets, or night-herons, be 
 selecting a home in some of the other trees, whilst an eagle, with its 
 nest close by, would be contemplating my poultry yard. 
 
 When the cool weather was approaching in October, the air was 
 full of sounds agreeable to anyone who is fond of watching birds ; 
 storks and cranes were hastening to their feeding grounds, and 
 pelicans, just arrived from a journey across the Himalayan 
 mountains, would be prospecting the surrounding country a 
 thousand feet above me, ready to pounce down on any pond or lake 
 likely to hold fish. Then there were flights of waders, whose name 
 is legion, and the ruddy shield-drake, so rare in England, coming 
 from its breeding-grounds in the highlands of Thibet by tens of 
 thousands. When I think of the birds of India, so many 
 recollections start up before me that I must curb my enthusiasm 
 by remarking, that in our village here a rara avis is seldom 
 seen, even by the best observer, and during a decade they may be 
 counted on the fingers. One day I saw a bird carrying a mouse 
 
6o 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 THE GREAT GREY-STRIKE. 
 
 which dangled from its 
 claw, and I wrote a post- 
 card in Latin to Mr. 
 Fowler, announcing that 
 it could be no other than 
 the Great Grey - Strike. 
 This brought my corres- 
 pondent down from Oxford, 
 and after diligent search 
 he found the bird, and 
 wrote to the following 
 effect, though, of course, 
 in much more elegant and 
 polished language. 
 
 ^' Rara avis quam vidisti videlicet Lanius excubitor est.'' 
 
 During the time I was at school, an unique specimen of the 
 Andalusian Quail was shot at Cornwell, about a mile from here, and 
 as it was pronounced to be a highly interesting addition to the 
 list of British birds, Yarrell and Morris figured it. But a few da3's 
 back, whilst looking over more recent books on Ornithology in 
 Mr. Fowler's house, I find there is a proposal to expunge it from 
 the list. I could not quite make out the reason why, but it appeared 
 that some doubt exists as to the bird having been a genuine wild 
 one. I knew Webb, the keeper who shot it, very well, and he 
 pointed out to me the place where it flew up, whilst the Cornwell 
 coachman, who ended his days in a cottage opposite my house, told 
 me that he remembered taking it from the keeper's bag directly it 
 was brought home. 
 
 Not long ago Mr. Penyston, the present owner of the estate 
 where the quail was shot, kindly invited me to see another bird 
 which had been picked up in a moribund condition in his park. 
 He said a naturalist at Cheltenham called it a Dusky Petrel. As 
 this also would have been almost an unique English specimen^ 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 6i 
 
 I paused in wonder at the strange coincidence which, prima facie, 
 seemed to bring two rarities to one estate ; and although my 
 ignorance regarding petrels is profound, armed with the best 
 authorities I had, I hastened to Mr. Penyston's house, where I 
 measured, weighed, and scrutinized the bird, and then came to the 
 conclusion that it must be a specimen of the Manx-Shearwater — 
 comparatively a common bird. But there it is, in Mr. Penyston's 
 collection, for others more expert than I am to examine. 
 
 About the same time the Andalusian Quail was killed, Mr. 
 Lyne, a gentleman in the neighbourhood, shot a Roller. I had 
 heard of this bird and 
 longed to see it when a 
 boy — before this lovely 
 species became familiar 
 to me in other countries. 
 I did not know where 
 Mr. Lyne lived ; but a few 
 days ago I was walking 
 through a neighbouring 
 town, and passing an open 
 door, I saw a stuffed Roller 
 in a case standing in the 
 hall. I rang the bell, and 
 said, " Mr. Lyne or his 
 representative lives here ! " 
 My surmise proved quite 
 correct, and much to the the roller. 
 
 surprise of the man who 
 arrived in answer to my 
 
 summons, I exclaimed, " Everything comes to those who can aiford 
 to wait ; I have been waiting for nearly half-a-century to see 
 that bird ! " 
 
 It is much to be deplored that all strange, gaily-coloured birds are 
 killed directly they reach our shores, for if allowed to stay, they 
 
62 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 would afford a pleasing adjunct to our scenery. But this is a subject 
 that has already been well thrashed out, with hardly any good result 
 whatever. I was standing with a loaded gun by our brook last 
 week, when a pair of sea-gulls came flying by, only a few yards 
 
 THE ANDALUSIAN QUAIL. 
 
 above my head. My companion was most anxious that I should 
 shoot them. I sternly turned on him and asked what would be 
 the use of the birds when slain ? This was a question which he 
 completely failed to answer. 
 
 When I was a schoolboy I would stand in the cold for hours, 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 63 
 
 waiting:, if possible, to kill a heron ; but now this bird may be seen 
 unmolested in my meadows, and two pairs built their nests and 
 reared their young close b}', at Daylesford, where the keeper tells 
 me he hopes they will remain and form a heronry. At the same 
 time, I can quite sympathise with anglers who object to herons, for 
 a few years ago I dug a small pond, about fifty yards in circum- 
 ference, with an island in the midst, and through it a stream of 
 water ran ; here I made a stevv^ to keep gudgeons handy, when I 
 required them for bait. There must have been at least a hundred 
 in the pond up to a short time ago, and then the herons found it 
 out, with the result that last time I went there for bait, every fish 
 was gone. 
 
 In former days many birds were killed by flying against the 
 telegraph wires, which ran alongside the railway through my farm, 
 and once during a deep snow, mj' father asked me to shoot some 
 partridges for certain festivities which he was giving. In the first 
 field I entered, a covey rose, and on crossing the railway three birds 
 flew against the wires and were killed, whilst a fourth settled and 
 ran beneath the snow as though to hide, and on going up I caught 
 it. I at once returned home and presented my father with two 
 brace of partridges and a riddle, which he failed to answer till I told 
 him what had happened. 
 
 Whilst on the subject of birds, I must not forget that we may 
 have too much even of a good thing, and so I will conclude with a 
 brief sketch of the birds which look on my garden as their own. 
 In the Spring almost every bush and tree contains a nest. The 
 Sparrows are on the alert directly the migrants come, and they 
 proclaim a temporary armistice among themselves, after the fashion 
 of the Afghans, in order to attack the new arrivals, for whose 
 accommodation I have put up comfortable, dry, unfurnished apart- 
 ments, with the great advantage that they are all rent free. The 
 Redstarts put in an appearance among the first which come, and 
 then the sparrows edge up and insult them in every way, evidently 
 sneering, and demanding information why they have invaded a 
 
64 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 place where the}^ are not wanted. A single cry of disapprobation 
 causes a host of birds to assemble to see the fun, and the new 
 comer is obliged to beat a hasty retreat from the confines of the 
 garden. But in my orchards the Redstarts are not so much 
 molested, and can rear their young in safety as a rule, though on 
 one occasion I found a hen-bird killed upon its nest and eggs by a 
 Tom-tit, which had taken a fancy to the place, and not being able 
 to drag the dead bird out, had built another nest on the top of its 
 victim. When I appeared on the scene it was sitting on five eggs, 
 thinking, perhaps, with Charles IX. of France — 
 
 "Fragrance sweeter than the rose, 
 Rises from our slaughtered foes." 
 
 A pair of Hawfinches, much to my satisfaction, took up their 
 quarters in my garden. At first the sparrows assembled in force, 
 
 and some of the bolder spirits 
 tried to turn them out ; but a few 
 furious blows administered over 
 the head and shoulders of the 
 aggressors made them retire in 
 confusion, and clearly demon- 
 strated that no humbug would 
 be tolerated ; and now the h3'po- 
 crites, when they see the Haw- 
 finches approach, assume a sanc- 
 tified demeanour and attempt to 
 sing, "What a good and pleasant 
 thing it is, brethren, to dwell 
 together in unity ! " 
 
 The migrants appear in my 
 
 garden each succeeding year, so 
 
 far as I can judge, without any 
 
 addition to their numbers, although their tendency is to increase in 
 
 geometrical ratio, and fill the earth and sky. If a Cobden or 
 
 THE HAWFINCH. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 65 
 
 Bright could increase their supply of food, as in the case of man, 
 perhaps they would increase likewise, with this advantage over the 
 lords of creation, that they would not be clamorous for work. 
 
 When we catch a minute summer-fly, place it under the 
 microscope and see what a perfect little flying machine it is, such as 
 no art can imitate ; and when we consider that a thousand millions 
 of these marvellous things are required for the daily bread of the 
 Swifts alone which visit England, we may exclaim with Meer 
 Amman; " Subhana-llah ! Kya sani liai," "The Great Creator: what 
 a wonderful artificer He is ! " 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 UT the short first Christmas holidays of Marlborough 
 College soon came to an end, and knowing what was 
 before me I returned with a heavy heart to school, 
 where I found things had by no means improved 
 since I was there before. My master eyed me when 
 I went up to class with no look of love, and soon 
 proceeded to apply his cane to my back, which had 
 hardly healed from the bruises it had received before. I would 
 have run away had there been any hope of keeping away, but several 
 boys had made the attempt, and after wandering about the country 
 for some time, were caught, brought back and flogged. I had not 
 the faintest idea what the Latin grammar was all about, and as no 
 one made the faintest attempt to explain anything, I gave up all 
 hope of understanding it, and passed my time during school hours 
 in other ways than acquiring classical knowledge. 
 
 The Spring was coming on, and I turned my earnest attention to 
 that branch of natural science, which treats of the nests and eggs of 
 British birds. We were fortunate in having the run of Savernake 
 Forest, and my happiest time at school was passed in the forest, or 
 by the banks of the Kennet, though our play-hours were so short we 
 
THE KINGFISHER. 
 
 F2 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. x 69 
 
 could not wander far away, and it was difficult to find a bush or 
 hedge which had not been already explored by oologists quite as 
 eager as myself. 
 
 Kingfishers' eggs were highly prized but very seldom found. The 
 bird as it flew by, leaving an apparent line of blue behind, and its 
 fresh eggs, more exquisite than pearls, we ranked with the most 
 beautiful of created things. Even in the East, where lovely species 
 are common in many parts, I never found with them that familiarity 
 breeds contempt, for up to the time when I bade adieu to India, 
 the sight of pied Kingfishers hovering over the Ganges, and other 
 brilliant kinds, gave me as much pleasure as their English cousins 
 did, generally — not always perhaps — at school. 
 
 Chang, my partner in eggs, and I had been probing the Kennet 
 banks one day, and spying a likely-looking hole, we cautiously 
 approached it, when suddenly a Kingfisher flew out, nearly in our 
 faces. We went almost wild for joy, and poor Chang for some 
 time seemed to fear impending dissolution, for his almond eyes 
 portruded as we may imagine a shipwrecked sailor's would when 
 he sees a distant sail, " There goes the old Kingfisher," he cried, 
 " I'll take my dying oath," and for some time had any one come 
 strolling by and seen us there, he might fairly have supposed that 
 what little sense we possessed before had utterly departed now, for 
 we sprang into the air, and rolled upon the ground, executing a 
 kind of pas de quatre upon our backs, in anticipation of the prize of 
 eggs in store for us, located in that hole. 
 
 At length we grew more calm, and thrust in our arms to draw 
 out the expected prize. But the nest contained young birds, and 
 the sleeves of our jackets acquired a most horrible odour, which, 
 as there was no such thing as changing clothes at school, we found 
 impossible to eradicate. Chang looked unutterable things, and so 
 did I, as I said good-bye to all our hopes. The boys who sat on the 
 same bench with us in school showered volumes of execration and 
 abuse upon our heads and arms, which my friend received as he 
 always did, very coolly. But I, who took foul words very much to 
 
70 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 heart, woefully rued the time when we saw the old Kingfisher fly 
 out. 
 
 The rustics in the neighbourhood soon found out that birds' eggs 
 possessed commercial value ; and on market days they would 
 assemble at the corner of the town not out of bounds, and expose 
 their wares for sale, whilst we, expecting to find them there, directly 
 we were released from school had an exciting race in order to get 
 first pick of anything curious or rare. I was very fleet of foot, my 
 heart was also in the race, and these combined generally secured 
 me first or second place. On arrival at the gates we had to turn 
 a very acute corner of the road towards the town, and seizing the 
 iron railings we swung ourselves round, with hardly any abatement 
 of our headlong speed. On reaching our goal where the rustics 
 stood, we took a rapid glance at every nest exposed to view, and I 
 soon became very expert in detecting any 0.^% worth buying. But 
 fraud was often rampant and spurious goods were brought. For 
 wherever there is demand there is pretty sure to be supply. 
 
 On my table is an heirloom, in the shape of a small oil-lamp, 
 which when the century was young, my father, after performing the 
 grand tour, brought back with him from Pompeii ; and in my 
 youthful days it was often the subject for a lecture, which I listened 
 to with great interest not unmixed with awe. The sudden burst of 
 the volcano ; the terror of the people who lived below. What a 
 tale that lamp could tell if it could only speak ! Perhaps it lighted 
 up the face of some early Christian who had listened to St. Paul. 
 And after lying in the ground for nearly two thousand years, had 
 found a resting place in our village here. Regarding its genuineness 
 of course there could be no doubt, for there was the round hole 
 made by the pick-axe which unearthed it. 
 
 In after years when I was performing the grand tour myself; on 
 arrival at Pompeii, my guide with a mysterious air, drew out the 
 exact counterpart of my heirloom, evidently cast in the same mould, 
 probably at Birmingham, for there was the same round hole. 
 " Cosmogony, and the creation of the world," rose up before me, as 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 71 
 
 I thus addressed my guide, " Friend, I remember having seen some- 
 thing similar before." And much to his disgust I told him of my 
 heirloom. 
 
 The egg vendors also soon 
 found out what eggs were in 
 great demand, and armed 
 with an abnormal pullet's 
 ^g'^, one fellow would cry 
 out : 
 
 " 'Tis Owl's, 'tis Owl's, I 
 sware 'tis Owl's,'* or holding 
 a Lark's ^g'^ in his hand 
 would say : 
 
 " 'Tis Cuckoo's." 
 
 " Cuckoo's, indeed ! Pray 
 how do you know 'tis 
 Cuckoo's ? " 
 
 ** How do I know 'tis 
 Cuckoo's ? Why, because 
 I see the old burd." 
 
 "See the old bird! Oh, 
 come now, that's not likely." 
 
 " I know I did see the old 
 burd then, and he were a- 
 holler-ing ! " 
 
 " Hollering, and what was he a-hollering? " 
 
 " What were he a-hollering ! Why Cuckoo, Cuckoo, to be 
 sure ! " — after a pause: " What else should he be a-hollering? " 
 
 But it would'nt do ; and the vendor getting exasperated at the 
 chaff going on around, vowed vengeance on my head, if he could 
 catch me. But his thick boots, like anvils on his feet, gave him 
 very little chance of coming near me in a race. 
 
 At last, finding he could not impose on us, he would favour me 
 with a sleepy smile as I greeted him with : " Well, Owls old fellow, 
 and pray what have you got for us to-day ? " 
 
 OWLS." 
 
72 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Another o.g'g vendor was "Monkey" Davis, but he never appeared 
 unless he had something good, such as Sparrow-hawk's or Kestrel's 
 eggs for sale. Although as his sobriquet implies, he was not hand- 
 some ; he was a tall, strong fellow, with a face of great determination, 
 and had his lines been cast in suitable positions, he might perhaps 
 have raised himself to fame by deeds of derring do. But here, so 
 the story ran, he was merely a desperate poacher who never turned 
 his back upon a foe. 
 
 Nothing in the shape of live-stock which inhabited the forest was 
 passed by "Monkey" Davis; and in very early days he used to 
 supply the school with squirrels, dormice, rabbits, hardly any- 
 thing with fur or feathers came amiss; and these we used to keep 
 in a corner between the covered play-ground and the fives-court. 
 The bigger boys must have been about the usual rabbit-keeping age, 
 although they appeared like giants in my eyes, and they soon 
 managed to get quite a large menagerie there. This as time went 
 on, became a nuisance when the wind blew over it towards the 
 school, and really I don't know how it came about that the 
 menagerie was ever allowed to be erected. Perhaps the masters 
 were not aware of its existence until the zephyrs told them, and 
 then it ceased at once. 
 
 "Monkey" would also catch badgers, and put them in a sort of 
 cub on market days, and charge a fee for anyone who wished to test 
 the metal of his dog. One day when I was standing near, a 
 dandyfied young farmer came strolling by with a ferocious-looking 
 dog fastened to a chain ; and no sooner did the animal scent the 
 tainted gale, than it made such tremendous charges in the direction 
 of the cub, that its owner found difficulty in restraining it. He was 
 invited to let loose this candidate for honours. But the dandy said 
 it would certainly kill the badger in a moment. " Oh, never mind," 
 the " Monkey" said, " so long as I get my shilling." The dog was 
 accordingly let loose, and away it went swift as an arrow from a 
 bow. On getting inside the cub however it gave an unearthly yell ; 
 and darting out, tore across country as hard as it could go with its 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 73 
 
 tail between its legs, followed of course by a roar of laughter, whilst 
 the farmer looking very fooHsh, swore that he would shoot it directly 
 he got home. 
 
 Many years after, when I was at home from India on furlough, I 
 met "Monkey" Davis in the forest, and when, for old acquaintance- 
 sake, a coin passed from my hand to his, he pulled out of his 
 capacious pockets, 3 squirrel and a dormouse, which he begged me 
 to accept. A straw shows the direction of the wind ; and as this 
 proffered quid pro quo was quite gratuitous, when I said good-bye, 
 leaving my friend in possession of his treasures, I could not help 
 exclaiming, that although in the great struggle for existence he 
 probably had been led to perform some doubtful deeds, I felt sure 
 he was an honest, generous chap at heart. 
 
 Another man we knew as " Fur-cap." But 
 as he was lame, a youthful assistant followed 
 in his wake to climb the trees in search of 
 nests. From him I purchased eggs of the 
 Hawfinch, and Water-rail, which ultim itely 
 I presented with many others to the Oxford 
 Museum when I went to India. The owner 
 of the forest let us roam about it as we 
 pleased, and "Fur-cap" and his tribe would 
 mask their depredations on the game, under 
 pretence they were merely collecting eggs for 
 us. 
 
 It was a gala-day when the Marchioness of 
 Ailesbury, accompanied by out-riders and 
 other forms of state, paid a visit to the 
 School. She used to drive down the "middle 
 path," which, so tradition ran, was reserved 
 tor royalty alone, and then a deputation, 
 headed by the best looking prefects, having 
 
 carefully removed their caps, would approach the lady and demand 
 that the great honour she had done us by coming there, should be 
 
74 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 commemorated by a holiday. Then having gazed at the fair 
 occupant of the carriage and her parasol, which also did duty as a 
 whip, we strolled away to the space outside the pantry door, where 
 " Long Tom," the footman, was regailing the out-riders with 
 " College Ale," amid the chaff of some of the bolder spirits, who 
 enjoyed the grimaces which the ale produced. 
 
 One day whilst rushing out of hall in a desperate hurry to go birds' 
 nesting, on turning a corner I got entangled in " Long Tom's " legs 
 and sent him flat upon his back, as he was bringing in the writing 
 master's breakfast on a tray. The tea, the milk, the toast, and eggs 
 came like an avalanche upon him, and as I fled I heard him shouting 
 out : " You've upset the whole concern." 
 
 When I paid a visit to Marlborough, after my return from India, 
 I found the " King-Oak " in the forest with a railing round it, with 
 a view to save it from destruction, but in my time, we used to 
 cut off pieces and form them into small crosses, and what we 
 called " baccy stoppers." This latter name was soon passed on 
 to the prefects, who had strict orders to report any boy caught 
 smoking. 
 
 Nelson risked an encounter with a polar bear, in order that he 
 might send the skin home to his father, and I "cut roll call" one 
 day in order to get as far as the " King-Oak " to purloin a piece of 
 wood, in order that I might send a small cross to my mother. How 
 I laboured at that work of art, and when I sent it home, I pictured 
 to myself the great delight with which it would be received. I 
 thought at least it would be put under a glass case, with a suitable 
 mscription. When however I got home myself, 1 found it stuffed 
 away with a lot of "rubbish," and a skein of worsted wound round 
 it. Ah I could exclaim was, " Oh, fancy! " And my mother seeing 
 how much aggrieved I was, acknowledged that she was wrong. 
 It is wonderful how children take such small things as this to 
 heart, and parents should always be on the qui vive about them. 
 l,The porous subsoil of chalk, which lies beneath the Marlborough 
 Downs, as every farmer knows, is favourable to sheep, and the great 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 75 
 
 fair which was held close to the College grounds, was attended by 
 dealers who came from all the country round. 
 
 In our village here, where much of the subsoil is boulder clay, 
 foot-rot requires the shepherd's constant care ; for although I 
 have little doubt that all our farm-yard animals are descended from 
 those domesticated in Abraham's time, selection and survival of the 
 fittest have not yet changed the natural repugnance of the sheep's 
 hoof to anything but dry or rocky ground, such as their progenitors 
 enjoyed on the Himalaya mountains and elsewhere. Indeed, if we 
 left our flock unattended for two, or at the most three years, not a 
 single animal would have survived the combined ravages of foot-rot 
 and the progeny of the beautiful breeze-fly. But on the chalky 
 downs near Marlborough the case is different I believe, and when I 
 was at school. Farmer Beauchamp of this village was annually 
 deputed by my father and other land owners, to drive down to 
 Marlborough fair and make large purchases of sheep, free from the 
 evils which give us so much trouble. 
 
 Whilst talking yesterday to one of the old Rectory servants, of 
 whom I am glad to say several are still residing here, she asked me 
 if I remembered a certain hamper which Master Beauchamp took 
 down to the " iron railings" for me nearly half-a-century ago. Of 
 course I did ! I should be as likely to forget my name or dweUing 
 place, and I was beginning to describe its shape, and size, and 
 colour, when the old lady cut in and gave minute details, which I 
 never knew or had forgotten, relating from the time when the 
 farmer knocked at the Rectory door, announcing his intended visit 
 to Marlborough, down to the moment when the basket was deposited 
 by her hands m the farmer's gig. Some natural tears the old lady 
 also shed recalling happy days, but wiped them soon, for although 
 Master Beauchamp has long been gathered to his fathers, no one 
 who knew him can talk about him without laughing. 
 
 During Napoleon's wars he was drawn for the militia; and his 
 well-known figure, leaning on his shepherd's crook, beneath the 
 " stock trees " on the village green, was pretty sure to draw idlers 
 
76 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 round to hear him retail stories of his " soldiering " at Oxford. As 
 he was barely five feet high, though quite that measure round the 
 waist, no uniform could be found to fit him. At last a pair of 
 miHtary trousers, with a corresponding long-tail coat, were produced, 
 and to show how they were made to fit, he would raise his extended 
 palm above his head, and bring it sharply down upon the crease 
 opposite the elbow of his other arm, exclaiming, " Why, they cut 
 off as much as that, 77/ warrant,''' amid the loud laughter which 
 was sure to follow. Then, at the earnest request of his audience, he 
 would give further details of his military career, which, like his 
 trousers, was soon cut short. For according to his own account, 
 the commanding officer, calling to the sergeant and pointing to him, 
 in angry tones cried out, " There, take that fellow away, and send 
 him home or anywhere you like, so long as he keeps out of my road, 
 for I can't abear the sight of him." 
 
 Only those perhaps, who have been hungry, more or less, for 
 eight long years, as I was, will understand why that basket should 
 dwell upon my memory. When the sheep-fair came round the 
 following year, we hoped that a similar hamper would appear. 
 With mingled hope and fear we went from time to time to 
 see if Master Beauchamp had demanded admittance at the " iron 
 gates," but being disappointed, my brother and I determined to pay 
 a visit to the fair next day ; as perhaps the things had come, but by 
 some oversight had been forgotten. Accordingly we went ; and 
 almost the first thing we saw on arrival on the Downs was the 
 farmer's familiar figure, inspecting a pen of sheep and deeply 
 engaged in striking a bargain with another dealer standing by. 
 
 On going up he recognised us and shook us warmly by the hand, 
 whilst we felt happy at seeing anyone from home. But no mention 
 was made of any hamper, and as we were too shy to ask point- 
 blank, our interview was soon cut short by the other man abruptly 
 turning round, and demanding information as to whom we were 
 and what we wanted. To this our friend replied, that we were the 
 youthful sons of the parson in the village where he lived. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 77 
 
 " Sons of your parson ! " cried the other, " Sons of your parson ! " 
 he repeated with a shout. " Then they must treat us both, and 
 come forthwith to the nearest pubhc house, and give us some gin 
 and water." 
 
 This remark was thought so very funny by our friend, that he 
 bent his body forward as far as his figure would allow, pressed his 
 clasped hands between his knees to prevent his falling to the ground, 
 and with protruding eyes turned heavenward, he exhausted himself 
 with laughter. But before he had recovered his original position, 
 both my brother and I had slunk away. 
 
 The captain of the set to which I belonged at school, was an 
 overgrown lad with a very sportive turn of mind, who although he 
 found the same difficulty as I did in mastering the Latin grammar, 
 and consequently was always at the bottom of his class, was 
 regarded as quite an oracle, whose decision must be conclusive, 
 when we referred knotty arguments to him, regarding the orthodox 
 way to hold a gun or reins, or the way to train up a cur. I always 
 had some animal to ride at home, and I could generally manage to 
 hold my own in our chief topic of conversation — sport, both in and 
 out of school without confusion, and on one occasion, when I and 
 another boy had a dispute as to which of us was the best rider, it 
 was agreed that each should write to the huntsman of the respective 
 packs located near our homes, and hear what he had to say upon 
 the subject. 
 
 Accordingly at the dictation of the captain, whilst half a score of 
 other boys stood by to throw in suggestions here and there, I 
 scrawled a letter to the celebrated Jim Hills, of the Heythrop 
 hounds, who knew me very well by sight, as he and his brother Tom, 
 of the Surrey hounds, and who was an old friend of my father's, 
 would occasionally come over to the rectory, and have luncheon 
 there. In due time a favourable answer to my letter came, whilst 
 my rival's letter remained unnoticed. As this was put down to the 
 negligence of the post office, my rival challenged me to shew my 
 skill compared with his, during the fair, where thirsty souls would 
 let us have a ride upon their nags in exchange for beer. 
 
78 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Accordingly, attended by our respective supporters, we appeared 
 on the Marlborough Downs — It must have been sometime sub- 
 sequent to my friend Beauchamp's visit — and selecting two rough 
 looking nags, with due ceremony we mounted, and trotted up and 
 down amid much conflicting criticism. The captain said the 
 proper test was to see how far we could surmount obstacles on 
 horseback ; and accordingly he led us to a formidable five-barred 
 gate, which I would have much preferred to climb over on my feet. 
 Just as the captain was giving the word to start, a fearful scream 
 was heard to proceed from an old woman in a red cloak, with a 
 basket of eggs upon her arm, who stood in the middle of a 
 group of outsiders looking on. This, sounded like a reprieve to my 
 ears, for I felt certain I should break my neck. But the captain 
 looked sternly round, and asked what the old woman was making 
 all that row about, whilst she evidently confident of holding her 
 own in repartee, declared that we both would certainly be killed. 
 
 " Killed ! " indignantly exclaimed one of the other lads who was 
 not riding, " Why, missus, don't you suppose we go out hunting 
 when we are at home ? " 
 
 " Hunting \ " the old lady cried, looking her interrogator all over. 
 "Hunting ! " repeated she. " No ! not unless it may be a cat or a 
 mouse in your ma's kitchen." 
 
 Amid the loud laughter which followed this withering retort, the 
 owner of my nag, who was very drunk, ordered me to dismount, as 
 he intended showing us how we ought to ride. But no sooner did 
 he get up on one side then he tumbled over flat upon his back upon 
 the other, to the great enjoyment of the crowd, and when he 
 regained his legs, which he did with difficulty, he declared that such 
 an exhibition was worth money, and he began going round to collect 
 subscriptions in his hat. This of course had the effect of making 
 the crowd disperse, and as our captain was among the first to go, 
 both my rival and myself were not long in following his example. 
 Judging by my own feelings, and the faces and demeanour of my 
 friends, there is no doubt that the old lady in the red cloak had 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 79 
 
 completely routed us. The allusion to the cat, the mouse, and the 
 kitchen, contained so much element of truth, and made us feel so 
 very small, that some time elapsed before we regained our spirits, 
 and alluded to the subject of sport again. 
 
 But mv mind had been much exercised by reading Cooper's 
 novels. The noble character of Hawk-eye made me long to be a 
 trapper ; and when I got sufficient money to buy a trap, I at 
 once commenced a little poaching on my own account. Having 
 also purchased a small plasterer's hammer to do duty as a toma- 
 hawk, I felt as happy as I could be with an incubus of grammar 
 hanging over me, coupled with a scanty amount of food. The 
 bracing air of the district, which produced a Derby winner in my 
 time, made me also very fleet of foot, and as our play hours were 
 so short, I more often ran than walked, so that in setting out to 
 poach, I felt confident that the lessons I had learnt from Hawk-eye, 
 aided by my heels, would set the guardians of rabbits at defiance. 
 
 The goal of my first trapping expedition was an old unused chalk- 
 pit, in a field to the left of the Pewsey road, and having first 
 carefully ascertained that no one was about, I set my trap at the 
 mouth of a hole, which appeared to contain some inmates. But 
 on returning next da}', I found that in place of the expected rabbit, 
 I had caught a huge Tom-cat, which I tomahawked at once, and 
 dragged out of the pit. This I considered by no means a bad 
 beginning, and I sat down on the bank, thinking how I should 
 dispose of my prize. My trousers were sadly frayed all round my 
 ankles, where " tucks " had been let-out, and I thought at first I 
 would follow the example of O'Flinn, who "had no breeches to wear, 
 so he got an old cat-skin and made him a pair." As that would 
 not exactly do, I caught up the animal by the tail, and bent my 
 steps triumphantly back to School, regardless of the chaff of. 
 everyone I met upon the road. On reaching the " iron railings " 
 however, the detective saw me, and in spite of my protestations, 
 relieved me of my prize. 
 
 One of my school fellows used to tell with much humour a long 
 
8o THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 story, which he declared was confided to him by the detective and 
 the College cook, that my purloined prize was subsequently served 
 up in one of the formidable pies, which, when Saturday came round, 
 was said to contain the scraps which had accumulated during the 
 previous week. But as he was fond of exercising his wit, frequently 
 at the expense of truth, I refrain from retailing here what we at the 
 time thought a highly entertaining story. 
 
 The next time I visited my trap, I found I had caught a Pole-cat, 
 the only specimen of that animal I ever saw alive, so that the 
 owner of the chalk-pit had very little cause to complain of my 
 depredations hitherto. But at last I caught a rabbit, much to my 
 delight, and instead of taking it to school I took it to a house on 
 the Pewsey road, where a woman sold " table beer," and she 
 agreed to cook it for me the next Saturday, when a half-holiday was 
 given to the School. 
 
 Three other fellows, of the baser sort, and poor grammarians like 
 myself, to whom I confided my success, at first would hardly believe 
 my tale, but as they knew I was to be trusted, we all went on 
 Saturday to the place of rendezvous, where we found the rabbit 
 cooked, and on the table a quart of beer for which we paid three- 
 half-pence. I remember that quart of so-called beer, better than 
 any other I have seen before or since, as one of my companions, an 
 over-grown raw-boned lad, took such a tremendous swig at it 
 directly it was put upon the table, that there was precious little left 
 to divide among the other three, and I have never ceased wondering 
 that it did him little injury. Indeed it seemed to do him good, and 
 in the table-talk which followed, he was the most brilliant of us all. 
 
 The spice of danger added much flavour to our feast, and 
 afterwards we produced a pack of cards and played at whist until 
 it was time to go. One of the party also produced a pipe, which I 
 remember very well, because our cook brought out a thing she 
 called a " boa," and hung it over the smoker's head, in order, so 
 she said, to dislodge certain moths which had taken refuge there. 
 
 We often visited this house, and as we never knew the owner's 
 
o 
 
 w . 
 
 o £ 
 
 O =: 
 
 P ■$ 
 
 O -Si 
 
 o ^ 
 
 5 =o 
 
 3 ^ 
 
 a, ^ 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 83 
 
 name, we always called her " Sir," from the peculiar habit she 
 had of never answering any question until it was repeated, and 
 until she had cocked her head very much on one side, and called 
 out sharply " Sir-r ! " But she was most obliging, and as time went 
 on she kept a ferret for me, with which I did some execution in the 
 chalk-pits, always carrying my spoils to her, and having them 
 cooked on gala-days, when time permitted us to reach her cottage. 
 
 Regarding the games of early days, we had football, which I 
 loved, and cricket, though our eleven was nothing very grand. We 
 played with Swindon, which was captained by the celebrated Budd 
 of by-gone days. His arms were of enormous size, though he must 
 have been an old man when he played with us. One day I met 
 him with a new bat going to the cricket ground, and he asked me 
 to throw him a ball, as he wished to prove his weapon, and catching 
 it just right, he sent it flying to such a distance that — I was going 
 to say I had to run nearly half-a-mile to pick it up — but it could 
 not have been quite so far as that. He was evidently pleased with 
 his performance, for turning to a crowd of boys now gathered round, 
 he said, " Just to try it you know. Hey ! Just to try it ! " Those 
 words seem ringing in my ears even now, and for many a long day I 
 know they were remembered by my comrades, who when they 
 made a successful stroke at cricket, would cry out, " Just to try it 
 you know. Hey! Just to try it!" and then all within hearing, 
 would re-echo the same cry with laughter. 
 
 When the days were wet, we assembled in the covered play- 
 ground, to jump in the long rope ; and this was a favourite game 
 with me. The place was crammed with ropes, all being swung 
 round together, with a hundred boys or so, all jumping and keeping 
 time, which must have presented a very Zoological garden, monkey- 
 house appearance to any outsider looking on. This play-ground 
 was also marked with rings for marbles, and one Hebrew-looking 
 lad was considered a millionaire, because he owned a pocketful of 
 agates. 
 
 Then there was the bathing place, where I learnt to swim. But 
 
 G2 
 
84 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 in very early days we only had the Kennet to disport in, and round 
 promontories were erected about a hundred yards above the mill, 
 from which headers could be taken. 
 
 On the other side of the river was a 
 well-wooded swamp, where in the 
 Spring- the Black-headed Bunting 
 had its home, and the Reed-warbler 
 would build its lovely nest, supported 
 by slender columns and rocked to 
 and fro by every passing breeze ; 
 the Moorhen and the Dabchick were 
 always there, calling in the most 
 exasperating way, as though they felt 
 quite safe from school-boy depreda- 
 tions. I viewed the place with longing 
 eyes, and though I was an indifferent 
 hand at sums, would calculate how 
 much I would " put down upon the 
 nail " to spend half an hour there in 
 Spring, when the poor little birds 
 were busy with their nests. I can't 
 remember that I ever thought they 
 might object to my robbing them, 
 and even the bare idea of leaving a 
 single Q.gg, which ultimately might pro- 
 duce a father's hope or a mother's joy, was scouted in derision, and 
 in fact, to cut short what appears to be getting rather a prosy story, 
 I determined, come what might, to explore that El Dorado. 
 
 The best way to get at the place was by going through the mill. 
 But the Miller was a dreadful ogre, and as he often said, he couldn't 
 abear them boys. Swear! Why, so far as I could discover, he 
 didn't know any other words than oaths and imprecations, which he 
 would shower on our heads, and eyes, and limbs. However, I was 
 determined to have some eggs; and so one market day I watched the 
 
 BLACK-HEADED BUNTING. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 85 
 
 rascal leave his house and go off towards the town ; then, leaving a 
 companion perched on the high bank which overlooked the river, 
 to keep watch and hollo "■* Caver' if anything went wrong, I 
 slipped through the mill, and soon was busily engaged in filling my 
 cap with eggs. It was nearly full when I heard " Cave " repeated 
 many times, and hurrying back I 
 met the Miller on his threshold. 
 The fellow could not have been far 
 removed from a savage animal, 
 for directly he saw me coming he 
 seemed to go stark staring mad, 
 working his arms about like a 
 windmill, and bellowing like a bull. 
 I sprang into the air, and alighted 
 on his chest, sending him over 
 on his back, and then trium- 
 phantly sat on top of him, whilst 
 he, like Proteus in the grasp of 
 Aristaeus, tried every artifice to 
 
 get free. He grabbed my cap to get my number, so he thought, but I 
 had become too old a bird for that, and I hammered his fingers with 
 my fists until he let it go ; then, springing to my feet, I dashed 
 away. Alas, without my spoils, for all the eggs were smashed. 
 
 * Beware ! ! 
 
 THE MOORHEN. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 ESIDES the chalk-pits I have mentioned, during 
 the Spring and Summer months I turned my eyes 
 towards the river Kennet, in which I caught some 
 trout; these I cooked over a fire made in some 
 secluded spot. The betraying smoke was a constant 
 source of danger to me as it was to Cooper's Indians, 
 although, after I had set fire to a heap of sticks, I 
 strolled away until the bright embers alone remained. I got caught 
 at last, however, for as time went on, I neglected precautions to 
 avoid surprise, but when the detectives appeared upon the scene my 
 meal was over, and they only saw the fish bones strewn about. Of 
 course the master called me to his desk next day, and duly punished 
 me ; entering my crime, as one of lighting a fire out of bounds in 
 order to fry red herrings. 
 
 The keepers were always on the watch ; but they never caught 
 me, although I had a narrow escape one day, when a man surprised 
 me in a cul-de-sac, bounded by some park-railings, but I dashed my 
 foot against a rail, which luckily gave way and let nie through, 
 though not the burly keeper. This man vowed vengeance on my 
 head, eyes and limbs, whilst loudly lamenting my depredations, and 
 an audience would occasionally gather round, condoling with him, 
 and tendering advice how to circumvent me. One perhaps would 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 87 
 
 raise his eyes, as though in mute surprise that there could be any 
 difficuhy, and blandly ask, " Why don't you run arter him kipper?" 
 
 " Why don't I run arter him," the guardian of the stream replied, 
 spitting on the ground in sheer disgust after the manner of Orientals, 
 " Why I might as well run arter a greyhound." 
 
 In after years, when I went to Haileybury, the Indian Civil Service 
 College of those days, I found the foot races a great institution 
 there. But as I was a dark horse, I was nowhere in the betting, 
 and my immediate friends expressed surprise when they heard I had 
 entered for the "Derby," or " Hundred yards." One of the favourites 
 invited me to have a trial spurt with him, in order to see what I 
 could do. But although I by no means had forgotten the lesson 
 taught me by the Marlborough doctor on the subject of deceit, I 
 thought I might fairly decline to expose my hand by shewing this 
 rival competitor my heels just then. And the result of the trial 
 spurt, which soon got noised abroad, was that I should probably be 
 nowhere in the race. 
 
 But I felt contident that if once I got ahead no one would ever 
 catch me : and so it proved to be, for I came in first, and won a gold- 
 mounted racing whip in a presentation case, which was the prize 
 awarded. I ought to have got something much more valuable, 
 considering the amount of money collected for the races. But the 
 system in vogue regarding the purchase of the prizes was utterly 
 bad and scandalous, to use no harsher term. The three stewards 
 went to London to purchase the prizes with a carte blanche given 
 — by no one knew whom — to spend as much as they chose upon 
 themselves, after the fashion of the prodigal son, vivendo luxuriose, 
 or in riotous living, and they made no secret on their return of 
 having enjoyed themselves, or to use their own words, " In having 
 had their fling" at our expense. I dare say they excused themselves 
 in the words of Tacitus, quoted in Paley's Evidences, 
 
 "Hi ritus quoquo modo inducti, antiquitate defenduntur. 
 
 But this was poor consolation to the prize winners. I also won the 
 
88 THE EARLY DAYS OE 
 
 hurdle race, and broad jump, getting prizes hardly worth acceptance, 
 but one of these, a hunting-knife, is still in my possession. 
 
 William Salmon,* my messmate at College, who was considerably 
 over six feet high, used to express astonishment that his long legs 
 could not carry him over the ground so fast as mine, which were 
 comparatively short, did me. Although I replied he should remain 
 content in having a better head than mine, he resolved to cope with 
 me in the College Steeple-chase, which led over a dug-out place 
 full of water covered with green scum, and surmounted by a railing. 
 Almost the entire population of the surrounding country would 
 assemble there on our gala-day, to share the fun of seeing the athletes 
 fall in, but I could just manage to jump it from bank to bank 
 without getting wet at all. And for several days before the race 
 I used to practice there, in order to find out the best place for taking 
 off and landing on the other side. 
 
 Salmon, who was a dandy, having procured the most becoming 
 racing dress his tailor could supply, looked very smart when we all 
 assembled at the starting place, and to use his own expression, he 
 " felt so fit," that he thought he might acquire a little fortune if he 
 only would accept the odds so freely laid against his even reaching 
 the winning-post at all. 
 
 "Are you ready?" What an exciting time that was, as every 
 eye was on the starter. " Off! " Away we went, all led by Salmon, 
 who never heeded for a moment that " it's the pace which kills." 
 The water jump was not far off, and by the time he reached it — 
 many yards before us all — no breath remained in his body, in conse- 
 quence of the terrific pace he had been going. Cheered by the 
 crowd, however, he made a noble effort, but his foot catching in 
 the rail, he alighted on his back in the middle of the water with a 
 tremendous splash, amid the delighted laughter of the crowd. He 
 was assisted out by our much loved Dean,t who when order was 
 
 * Gold Medallist, died at Bombay. His executors sent me a very valuable diamond ring, which they said 
 had been left to me by my old messmate as "a token of affection." 
 
 t The Rev. W. E. Buckley, an athlete, and scholar of considerable fame, livery one who had the honour of 
 his acquaintance loved and respected him. Died, 1892. 
 
Marlborough coll^g^. ^9 
 
 restored, raised his hand for silence, and thus addressed the 
 crowd— 
 
 " We must all join in thanking Mr. Salmon for the entertainment 
 he has afforded, and in gratitude I propose that this formidable 
 obstacle shall no longer be known as the ' Water Jump,' but as the 
 * Salmon Leap.' " 
 
 But, returning to Marlborough College. During the entire time I 
 passed at school, the general feeling between the masters and the 
 boys was one of distrust and enmity, and considering that the 
 cane was always on the go, this was only what might naturally be 
 expected ; for I doubt whether much love is ever lost between 
 masters of any kind, and those they have assaulted. 
 
 When I first arrived in India, a veteran gave me the following 
 advice in which I heartily concur : he said, " Don't strike your 
 native servants, for apart from other reasons, they are sure to 
 dislike you for ever after, and are pretty sure to hnd some means to 
 injure you." 
 
 According to Thackeray, the schoolmaster flogs his own son more 
 than any other boy ; but this sounds too horrible to be true. If it 
 is true, such a fellow must have common ancestry with the Fuegian 
 immortalized by Darwin, who dashed his child upon the rocks for 
 dropping a basket of sea-slugs. 
 
 " Hey ! What ? Sea-slugs ! I am sure I should never dash my 
 child," etc. 
 
 No ; not in England where policemen are about ; but I should be 
 sorry to trust you on a wild and broken shore in Terra del Fuego. 
 
 The tyranny and eccentricities, or what we considered such, of 
 the masters formed subjects for much doggerel rhyme, which will 
 not bear repetition here. Its nature may fairly be described how- 
 ever in the words of George the Second, who, as I have somewhere 
 read, on casting his eye over a lampoon which a certain Bishop 
 had handed to him in order that punishment should be meted out 
 to the obnoxious writer, burst out laughing; and when his lordship, 
 much scandalised, exclaimed, " Surely, sir, you cannot find amuse- 
 
90 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 ment in such ribald trash," His Majesty, looking supernaturally 
 grave, replied, 
 
 " Mah que non ! C'est mauvais, c'est execrable ! Mais" and here the 
 royal countenance lit up again, " il faut avoue que le drole a de 
 Vespritr* 
 
 One of the masters, when he came upon us unawares perpetrating 
 any peccadillo would exclaim, as he seized us by the hair or neck, 
 " Slippery fellow, I've got you at last ! " He also affected a highly- 
 polished satin stock with an iron buckle which fastened it behind, 
 the end sticking out several inches and presenting in the distance a 
 formidable horn or pigtail, and as this from long usage had become 
 much frayed, the boy who sat next to me in school exercised his 
 wit in writing a poem; describing the master's supposed search 
 through the various shops in the town for a new stock of the same 
 antiquated shape and pattern, describing it as " one of the old sort, 
 buckle behind." This description being incomprehensible to the 
 shopmen, various forms of banter, in which the words " slippery 
 fellow" were freely used, filled up the poem, which at last concluded, 
 by a cupboard, fastened by a rusty lock unused for a century or 
 more, being opened and disclosing the long sought for article. On 
 which the joyous purchaser skipped out of the shop, very fast, 
 crying, 
 
 " Slippery fellow, I've got you at last ! 
 The old sort, buckle behind ! " 
 
 But, of course, there were some favourites amongst the masters. 
 When I was staying, years ago, in the Riviera ; a man came to 
 me and said, " There is an old Marlborough master staying at our 
 hotel, would not you like to meet him ? " 
 
 Somewhat hastily, I was about to return an answer similar to 
 that which Boswell says Johnson would have given had he been 
 asked to meet Jack Wilks, when checking myself, I sternly said, 
 " What is the master's name ? " and hearing that it was Tweed, I 
 
 * " It is bad ; Indeed it's really shocking ; but we must acknowledge that the rogue has wit." 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 91 
 
 said, " Oh ! that's all right ! it will give me much pleasure meeting 
 him ; for although, unfortunately, I was not under him at school, I 
 am sure I never heard his name mentioned except in praise." 
 
 But if the masters made guys of themselves, the boys were often 
 not far behind in that respect. I was forced into a shilling grey 
 Scotch-cap, from which the ribbons, put for ornament behind, soon 
 disappeared, and upon this I sat when I was in school. My trousers 
 also usually had one, and sometimes two, frayed lines where tucks 
 had been let out as my legs grew longer ; and upon Sundays the 
 prefects and fifth-form boys appeared at Church in the full ball 
 costume worn by the "mashers" of that time. A long-tail coat, and 
 waistcoat which had one button only, in order to display a white 
 shirt-front kept together by three large jewelled studs like unripe 
 blackberries, and over these was an enormous Joinville tie, such as 
 Lord Scamperdale wore at Jawlyford Court, making him appear 
 " like a goose with an apparatus round its neck to prevent it creeping 
 through gaps and gates." The hair of these " awful swells," as they 
 were called, was plastered down with bear's grease, which gave 
 them a very oily look ; and thus adorned, with a blue or red 
 cricketing cap surmounting all, they would promenade the Bath or 
 Pewsey roads, much to the amusement of strangers passing by. 
 
 Everyone did his best to look smart on Sundays, even if smartness 
 consisted merely in getting an extra polish to his Blucher boots. 
 But it was a hungry day, no notice being taken of Festivals, though 
 Fast-days were rigidly observed. 
 
 Lent was a much dreaded time at school, and certainly there 
 was enough tyranny and humbug mixed up with it to last one for a 
 lifetime. It made me break the tenth commandment, for I envied 
 the lucky fellows who had money and who could lay in a store of 
 food. Two brothers, who sat near me and whose features betrayed 
 their Hebrew origin, would bring out, about Shrove Tuesday, a 
 well-lined purse, and tell us in exasperating detail, the precautions 
 they were taking to drive off the wolf of hunger, whilst the others 
 sitting near longed, of course, to follow their example. On 
 
9i THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Wednesdays and Fridays my only food was stale bread washed 
 down by water from the pump, and we used to search for pig-nuts 
 to satisfy our craving. Salt tish occasionally was put upon the 
 table, but an edict had gone forth that it was not fit for human 
 food, so no one ever touched it. I have heard it said that no one 
 knows who leads the fashions; and certainly I never heard who 
 passed the order about the fish — masters ? boys ? or was it evolved 
 out of our inner consciousness? But there the order was, and we 
 small boys could not disregard it, unless we wished to make our 
 lives a burden to ourselves. 
 
 Then we had to attend long services in Chapel, and listen to 
 dreary sermons which no one but the pulpit orator himself could 
 possibly enjoy. But I must not, in justice, omit to mention that 
 the masters were supposed to share the austerities which they en- 
 joined on us ; this, however, afforded only indifferent consolation. 
 Indeed, those who are engaged in instructing youth should not be 
 allowed to fast at all, for a reason that may be illustrated by a 
 passage which I find in Andrew Lang's translation of Theocritus — 
 
 " Diocleides has not hati his dinner, and the man is all vinegar — don't 
 venture near him when he is kept waiting for his dinner." 
 
 And everyone knows the amusing diary of the Quaker Dr. Rutty, 
 and the entry, "Snappish on fasting." Quakers, so far as I have 
 seen them, are the mildest and best of men, and if they become 
 snappish when deprived of food, what must those who are naturally 
 savage be ? 
 
 I have no doubt however, that the authorities at School when 
 they made us fast, acted according to their light, but it was the 
 lucu^ a non lucendo of the ancients, which may be translated here, 
 as a light which makes darkness visible. I suppose it was intended 
 for mortification, as though there was not enough of that about 
 already. 
 
 The river Kennet developed my love for fishing; and since the time 
 when I broiled trout out of bounds upon the embers, much of my 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 93 
 
 time has been passed by the brook or river-side, where, even if the 
 fish are not incHned to move, there is ahvaj's somethinj:^ entertaining 
 goin^ on ; and, indeed, the anj^^ler who sets out to cast his hnes 
 upon the waters where destiny has usually led me, must do so 
 more in hope 
 
 "To steal from all he may be, or has been before, 
 And mingle with the universe." 
 
 than to fill his basket ; for civilization, with its attendant factories 
 and gas, have worked sad havoc with our fish. But the Geologist- 
 angler, wandering by the Evenlode, if he finds the fishing slow, may 
 speculate on the share which the great ice-age had in making the 
 river thick with yellow mud after every heavy shower of rain, whilst 
 the Windrush on the other side of the Cotswold hills, and only a 
 few miles distant, remains clear as crystal. He may also attempt to 
 solve three problems : Why the river forms a succession of curves 
 shaped like the letter S ? Why the surrounding land is highest 
 close to the river bank ? and why, although denudation by frost or 
 flood is constantly going on, the banks remain perpendicular on 
 either side, and equidistant from each other. The mathematician 
 may weigh a portion of the deposit brought down from the 
 surrounding hills, and calculate how man}' years will pass away 
 before the surrounding water-shed is levelled down ; and the 
 naturalist, if he has observant eyes, may find food for speculation 
 sufficient to last him for a lifetime. 
 
 Not long ago I was sitting on the river bank which forms a 
 boundary to my farm, when on the opposite side a water-rat came 
 tearing by as though fear had lent it wings ; and no wonder, for 
 presently a stoat appeared upon the scene in hot pursuit, evidently 
 bent on mischief. I sat quite still until it had gone by, then there 
 issued from my lips a sound like that of a micro-mammal in distress. 
 The pursuer pulled up at once, and looked my way, as though it 
 would exclaim, " Great heavens, what's that ? " standing on its hind 
 legs to get a better view. This was evidently satisfactory, for it 
 
94 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 took a header into the water, swam across the stream, and mounting 
 the steep bank, came in a desperate hurry towards the place where 
 I was sitting ; when it got so near that I could have touched it 
 with my hand, a panic seized it, and taking another header got back 
 to the other bank. I stopped it again with the same mysterious 
 sound, and if ever perplexity — hope mixed with fear — was written 
 on the countenance of a stoat, there it was before me. It evidently 
 thought it the most remarkable coincidence which had occurred 
 
 STOAT KILLING RABBIT, 
 
 during its brief existence, and come what might, it was determined 
 to see it out. Another header, another rapid scramble up the bank 
 for fear it should be late for dinner, when a sudden burst of 
 laughter, which I found impossible to restrain, drove it back again. 
 Twice after that it returned, and there is no knowing how long the 
 game might have continued, had not a farmer who wished to speak 
 to me, appeared upon the scene, and frightened this entertaining 
 stoat away. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 95 
 
 The farmer capped my story of what had just occurred, by telHng 
 me that on one occasion a stoat drove eight rabbits in succession 
 from the neighbouring Daj'lesford woods, to the field where he 
 was working, and so disabled them before his eyes, that he was able 
 to secure them all ; and there was no knowing how many more 
 additions to his larder might have been supplied in this unusual 
 manner, had not a keeper suddenly appeared and ended the rabbit- 
 hunter's life. 
 
 Seeing my basket nearly empty, the farmer invited me to try his 
 portion of the brook, which is situated at a considerable distance 
 from the place where we were sitting. He said, from what he had 
 heard going on that morning, he had reason to believe that large 
 fish were jumping in sheer light-heartedness. I asked if they 
 could possibly be trout, but he replied No ! No ! he was certain 
 they were not trout, as he had 
 never heard of any there; he felt 
 confident they were "Jacks." So 
 next morning found me with troll- 
 ing tackle in my neighbour's field, 
 under the impression that the 
 sounds which had attrated him 
 proceeded from other things 
 than fish. I was in the act of 
 adjusting a dead gudgeon on my 
 hook, when suddenly a May-fly, 
 the first I had seen that year, flew 
 by, and I had hardly secured it 
 when a tremendous splash in a 
 corner close at hand filled me with 
 astonishment, as I had never 
 
 heard anything resembling it in the brook before. I quickly 
 changed my tactics, and in almost less than no time a May-fly was 
 fluttering in the corner whence the unusual noise proceeded. It 
 hardly touched the water when down it went arid with it my hook 
 
 THE MAY-FLY. 
 
96 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 
 stuck in a fish's mouth. I thought for some time that I must have 
 caught a salmon, for the fish behaved exactly as a salmon did in the 
 Usk one day when I was trout-fishing there. It went to the bottom 
 of the stream and there it stopped, until straining my line almost 
 to the breaking point, it suddenly changed its tactics and dashed 
 away upstream as hard as it could go. I followed for some distance, 
 keeping it out of the weeds as best I could, when to my relief it 
 turned and came again into the large corner where there was plenty 
 of sea-room, and there for quite ten minutes it dashed about and 
 every now and then sprang into the air, trying to break my line. 
 But at last it yielded, and dragging it down stream to a convenient 
 place where cattle come down to drink, I slipped my landing-net 
 under it and pulled it triumphantly on to the bank. It weighed five 
 
 pounds, and now, with 
 glassy eye it surveys me 
 as I write. During the 
 struggle several other fish 
 were jumping round, and 
 directly my first prize was 
 landed, I proceeded to 
 wait on them ; and soon 
 four others, though not 
 quite so large as the first, 
 were lying on the grass. 
 
 My friend, the farmer, 
 then appeared upon the 
 scene, and was so pleased 
 with my success, that he 
 declared he would be- 
 come an angler himself; a threat which I am selfish enough to say, 
 much to my satisfaction, has never been fulfilled. 
 
 I must not fail to mention that the field where we were standing 
 was thick with grass just ready for the scythe, and when I pointed 
 to the damage I had done, my friend exclaimed, " Perhaps you 
 
 FIVE-POUND TROUT FROM THE EVENLODE. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 97 
 
 don't remember that it was I who carried you up the Rectory 
 steps when first you came to Kingham ; and, more than that, my 
 wife, who is now I trust with God, has often told me that she made 
 your shirts when first you went to school. With such bonds of 
 friendship, can you suppose that I could possibly object to your 
 treading down my grass ? No ! No ! ! " 
 
 *' Felices ter et amplius, 
 Quos irriipta tenet copula, nee malis 
 Divulsus querimoniis 
 Suprema citius solvet amor die." * 
 
 My progenitors transmitted to me a love of sport. My father 
 used to tell us how, during his holidays, he was always either riding 
 after the Surrey staghounds, or prowling about with his gun. He 
 was supposed to produce a holiday task in manuscript, on his return 
 to Westminster, where he was at school ; but, like me, he does not 
 appear to have taken kindly to grammar, for when his master 
 demanded the expected document, he related the following tale 
 of woe : — 
 
 His youthful ambition was, he said, to take back a present of 
 game to his master, so accordingly, the day before leaving home he 
 took a stroll with his gun, and after walking nearly all day without 
 se.eing either " fur or feathers," suddenly came across a hare com- 
 fortably seated in its form and fast asleep. Here was a splendid 
 opportunity, but on searching his pockets, O, horror ! he had no 
 wadding with which to load his flint-and-steel gun. 
 
 I can quite believe this part of the story, for boys,, whether 
 shooting or fishing, are pretty sure to forget some very important 
 item — bait, hooks, wadding — indeed, so far as my experience goes, 
 the only item which a boy can be trusted to produce is " Grub." 
 But however that may be, on this occasion, although my father 
 
 * " Thrice happy fellows those, whose friendship lasts a lifetime, and whose bonds of union are so great that 
 the bare idea of one complaining because the other has trodden down his mowing grass is scouted as absurd." 
 — J^ree translation. 
 
 H 
 
98 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 turned his pockets inside out, the only paper he could find was his 
 holiday task, with hardly a single grammatical mistake, according 
 to his own account. Being on the horns of a dilemma, he rapidly 
 turned over in his mind what on earth he should do ; and coming 
 to the conclusion that his master would much prefer the hare to 
 the holiday task, he rammed the document down the barrel and 
 shot at the hare. 
 
 I had no idea when I began writing this story down that it would 
 become so long, or I should have hesitated before producing it, and 
 the master must have been unusually good-natured to hear it out ; 
 but hear it out he did, and when it ended he curtly called out, 
 
 " And where's the hare ? " 
 
 " O, please sir, I'm awfully sorry, sir, but / missed it /" * 
 
 As my ancestors, so far back as there is any record of them, 
 appear to have been sportsmen; no wonder that during the hour or 
 so which we were allowed, twice a week, to wander through the town 
 of Marlborough, I spent some portion of my time in flattening my 
 nose against a window where a certain old pistol was exposed for 
 sale. I longed to buy it at the advertised price — five shillings. At 
 last I screwed up courage and scrawled a letter to my mother, 
 saying that I wanted five shillings sadly ; and in due time that sum 
 arrived with the remark that I had set a-going much speculation as 
 to the reason why the money was so urgently required. My father 
 supposed it was to purchase the egg of some rare bird; whilst my 
 mother thought perhaps it was to buy a white feather from a 
 sparrow's wing. But it was really to buy that pistol. The shop- 
 keeper ought not to have sold it to me, but he did ; and forthwith 
 I and another boy employed our time in casting bullets; but disaster 
 soon commenced. First we poured some of the molten lead into 
 the hollow handle of a shovel containing water, and the steam 
 generated there, shot the lead with tremendous force up to the 
 ceiling, narrowly missing our faces, but it burnt our hands. Then 
 
 * This incident, which must have occurred about the time of Waterloo, is perhaps still current at 
 Westminster. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 99 
 
 the pistol went off as my companion was looking down the muzzle, 
 and the bullet went through the peak of polished leather which 
 adorned his hat. Again, when I stuck up the ladle as a mark, the 
 bullet, fired true, whizzed round, and returning struck me on the 
 chest. Soon after another boy borrowed this dangerous weapon, 
 and as he was dealing destruction far and wide, the detectives, 
 hearing the unwonted noise, appeared upon the scene, which 
 terminated — not unjustly * I allow — in his being flogged and the 
 pistol confiscated. If that article is in the College museum now, 
 the authorities need have no fear of my ever claiming it, as I claim 
 the books which I have already mentioned. 
 
 But I soon found another way to satisfy my love for sport. In 
 my day Mr. Somerset, who kept innumerable white pea-fowl, 
 occupied the farm in the valley on the left, going to the cricket 
 ground, and about a mile along the valley his shepherd lived in a 
 small isolated cottage. This man possessed a gun which he would 
 let me have for a small consideration, and on half-holidays, when I 
 had any money, I often paid a visit to the cottage, and passed an 
 hour or so in shooting sparrows, tom-tits, or any mortal thing which 
 happened to come by. The first bird I killed was a wretched 
 goldfinch, which I kept in my pocket as long as I could conveniently 
 do so, and during school hours I would exhibit it with much pride 
 to my neighbours. 
 
 I hope to pay a visit to Marlborough soon, and so vividly 
 are the various scenes impressed upon my memory, that I shall 
 almost expect to see the white pea-fowl, the old gun, and the old 
 man who. lent it out. But I fancy they have all long since passed 
 away, as I am talking of nearly fifty years ago. Even young 
 Mr. Somerset, who menaced me with a whip when he caught me 
 standing on the rafters of his barn probing the thatch in search of 
 sparrow's eggs, but released me when he found I plied a useful 
 
 * Perhaps some will remark that I don't object to other boys being flogged, whilst I cry out myself. 
 Well ! it certainly does make some difference. Such is the weakness of mortal nature ; and there is this to be 
 said, that the boy not only refused to refund the value of my pistol, but gave me a good licking for lending it 
 to him and getting him into troubl--. 
 
 H2 
 
loo THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 trade, has I suppose also disappeared, though at the time I saw 
 every prospect of his remaining there for ever. 
 
 It was a happy time when the school broke up for the Summer 
 holidays, as we were free to go pretty well where we liked until we 
 could be all packed off. The small boys of course went last ; but 
 we could hear the ringing cheers of those who had already started, 
 and we passed our time in thinking over the happiness in store for 
 us at home, and devising schemes for pleasure. 
 
 But the trail of the serpent was always visible when " my 
 character" arrived per post, and was placed like a wet blanket on 
 the Rectory breakfast-table. As I was never taught anything, of 
 course my progress could not be called satisfactory ; but during 
 eight long years as the worst crimes which could be scored against 
 me were — The attempted introduction of a dead cat into the school, 
 and the possession of " The Newgate Calendar," I never could 
 understand why my conduct was generally condemned. I am 
 certain I was always ready to do anything I was told, that is, if I 
 knew how to do it, and I would have led a " forlorn hope " had I 
 only received a command to lead it. 
 
 Directly I got home I went the round of the village to see all 
 my friends, as I knew every man, woman, and child in it — as I do 
 now ; and then I started off to the brook and elsewhere, to see if I 
 could find anything new in the shape of birds, beasts, plants, or 
 fishes. 
 
 Had nature endowed me with an intellect coinciding with the 
 sharp look-out I always kept when I took my walks abroad, 
 goodness only knows what I might not have discovered in the vast 
 field of natural history; though doubtless it would have been better 
 had I kept a sharp look-out for grammar, and a correct interpre- 
 tation of the three concords or agreements in Latin, whilst I 
 remained at school. But there is no accounting for tastes, and as 
 I have already recorded my Indian observations in '* The Natural 
 History of Monghyr," I will conclude this chapter with some notes 
 which I made when I found a Pied Flycatcher's nest in Wales. If 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 any think them dull, all I can say is that I am in good company, for 
 the Editor of ^^The Field'' said at the time they were very interest- 
 ing, as this bird had not been previously recorded to build its nest 
 in Wales. 
 
 " A pair of Pied Flycatchers have taken up their quarters in a 
 secluded part of the park here, and on climbing up to their nest, 
 which is built in the hole of a small elm tree, about twenty feet 
 from the ground, I found that it contained four blue eggs. I first 
 noticed these birds a week ago, and never having seen the species 
 alive before, I sat down under a neighbouring tree and watched 
 them. I had not sat there long before a squirrel, which has made 
 its dray or nest in a holly bush close by, crossed over to the Fly- 
 catchers' tree, and was proceeding leisurely in the direction of the 
 nest, when the birds, which 
 were anxiously watching its 
 movements, attacked it in the 
 most furious and determined 
 manner, screaming violently, 
 and apparently striking it 
 with their beaks. The squirrel 
 seemed to view the attack 
 rather in the light of a joke 
 than otherwise, and kept dodg- 
 ing round and round the tree 
 in order to avoid the blows 
 showered on it, but showing 
 no inclination to retreat until 
 I got up and drove it away. 
 I do not know whether the 
 
 squirrel would eat the eggs if he could get at them, but I have found 
 lately several blackbirds and thrushes' nests containing shells of 
 eggs which have evidently been sucked, and I put this destruction 
 down either to the squirrels or carrion crows which abound in the 
 park. 
 
 THE PIED FLYCATCHER. 
 
102 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 " The Pied Flycatcher is an unmistakeable species, being unlike 
 any other British bird. In the distance, however, it bears consider- 
 able resemblance to the common mag^pie robin of India ; and, 
 indeed, when I first saw it, for a moment forgetting the locality, I 
 mistook it for the Indian bird. 
 
 " The well-wooded country in this neighbourhood doubtless con- 
 tains many rare species of birds, but as comparatively few persons 
 take an interest in any but game birds, they remain unnoticed. The 
 park here almost rivals the celebrated Walton Hall in the number 
 and variety of birds. There is a path which separates two ponds 
 about one hundred yards from the house, and here, in a decayed 
 elm tree, a green woodpecker has hollowed out its nest. It is 
 generally supposed that this bird carries the wood which it 
 excavates to some distance, in order to escape detection ; but from 
 the number of chips under this tree, one might imagine a carpenter 
 had been at work there with his chisel. The next tree contains 
 two noisy broods of starlings, and on the opposite side of the path 
 two pairs of willow warblers have built their nests in the bank close 
 to each other. Below them again a dabchick and a moorhen, side 
 by side, have reared their young ones, and in the branch of a willow 
 tree, which has fallen into the water, a chaffinch is engaged in 
 building its nest. A few paces further on a third pair of starlings- 
 have taken possession of an old woodpecker's hole ; and beyond 
 these again a blackbird in a hawthorn bush is sitting upon its eggs. 
 A squirrel has made its nest in a fir tree, the centre of the group ; 
 and as the birds and squirrels apparently form a very peaceful and 
 happy family, perhaps my supposition regarding squirrels destroying 
 eggs is an unjust one. 
 
 " The Dipper is a very common bird here ; under almost every 
 bridge may be found one of these birds nests. There are two 
 wooden bridges over a small trout stream which runs through the 
 park. I found two nests under the first bridge, and one under the 
 second. A brood of five birds has already been reared in one of 
 the nests, and I found the old bird sitting again on four eggs. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 103 
 
 The Dipper appears to possess remarkably keen eyesight, and 
 considerable difficulty is found in watching its movements 
 
 THE WATER OUSEL, OR DIPPER. 
 
 unobserved. Its flight is very rapid and headlong. On several 
 occasions, whilst fishing in the well-wooded trout stream, I have 
 
104 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 had to duck my head to avoid — at least so I thought — the bird 
 flying against my face, and on one occasion it actually flew against 
 my line. The paradoxical nature of the Dipper is well worthy 
 the attention of the disciple of Darwin. In gesture and nest it 
 resembles the wren ; in flight, voice, haunts, and colour of its eggs 
 it resembles the kingfisher ; whilst, according to naturalists, its 
 anatomy bears close affinity to that of the thrush. 
 
 " Numerous as are other birds, we miss the nightingale, whose 
 antipathy to Wales forms one of the most curious features in 
 the migration of birds. Considering the unrivaUed song of the 
 nightingale, it is curious how often the notes of other birds arc 
 mistaken for it. Last May, whilst in Palestine — remembering the 
 lines in * Lalla Rookh,' 
 
 ' And Jordan, those sweet banks of thine, 
 And woods so full of nightingales ' — 
 
 I listened attentively on the banks of the Jordan, but heard nothing 
 which might lead me to suppose that Philomel was there. My 
 dragoman assured me, however, that nightingales were common ; 
 but, considering that he pointed out the scavanger vultures as 
 eagles, I did not attach much weight to his testimony. 
 
 "In Dr. Johnson's 'Life of Savage,' mention is made of a scheme 
 proposed for the happy and independent subsistence of the impro- 
 vident poet, namely, that he should retire into Wales and receive 
 an allowance of £50 a year — to be raised by subscription — on which 
 he was to live privately in a cheap place, without aspiring any more 
 to affluence, or having any further care of reputation. This scheme 
 appears to have met with the warm approval of the poet, and 
 ' when he was once gently reproached by a friend for submitting 
 to live on a subscription, and advised rather, by a resolute exertion 
 of his abilities to support himself, he could not bear to debar himself 
 from the happiness which was to be found in the calm of a cottage, 
 or lose the opportunity of listening without intermission to the 
 melody of the nightingale, which he believed was to be heard from 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 105 
 
 every bramble, and which he did not fail to mention as a very 
 important part of the happiness of a country life.' It was unfor- 
 tunate that the poet should have rested his hopes on almost the 
 only common British bird not found in Wales, and had Dr. Johnson 
 been anything of a naturalist, he would probably have mentioned 
 this incident in his ' Vanity of Human Wishes.' " 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 OW that the agricultural labourer has obtained a 
 
 vote, the eyes of politicians are turned towards him. 
 
 Orators whose tall hats proclaim that they hail 
 
 from the metropolis, have interviewed us here, and 
 
 -attempted to demonstrate, not only to ourselves, 
 
 but to all the world, that village life is " remote, 
 
 melancholy, slow." No excitement, no music hall, 
 
 not even a hurdy-gurdy, by whose enlivening strains we might tread 
 
 an occasional measure with our friends. 
 
 But this is merely a Londoner's way of looking at it. Is there no 
 excitement in hiving a swarm of bees, or breaking in a refractory 
 colt ? and although the midnight chorus, and perfume of rum are 
 wanting ; when we open our windows at early morning during this 
 season of the year, we inhale the fragance of new-mown hay, and 
 hear the blackbird whistle. 
 
 What advantages the children of labourers enjoy ! They are 
 placed in harness directly they arrive at the age when nature does 
 its best to make them troublesome, not only to themselves but to 
 everybody else, and they are spared the dreadful infliction meeted 
 out to many a young gentleman with nothing on earth to do, and 
 who is "Lord of himself; that heritage of woe." Neither are they 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 107 
 
 torn from home, as I was at the age of eight, and when they are ill 
 they have their mother's care ; whilst when I caught the scarlet 
 something at school, I was shut up in a small attic by myself, in 
 company with hideous night-mares. There were no sisters of mercy 
 in those days, at least I don't remember seeing any. But I remem- 
 ber very well crawling out of bed to get my jacket, and stuff some 
 crusts, which I could not eat, into the pocket, fearing I might be 
 blamed for leaving wholesome food. When the slavey came to tell 
 me I was well, and should have to go back to School, she exclaimed 
 to her companion, " Why, bless the boy, he's got a pocket full of 
 corks." 
 
 But those were the tentative days of Marlborough College, when 
 an experiment was being made, how to rear the greatest number of 
 parsons' sons at a minimum of cost. 
 
 Then again, the labourer, if he is a good one, can find constant 
 employment in his native village; and is not compelled to go abroad 
 to earn his bread, as I and all my brothers were. In fact, if some 
 scheme can be devised, as I sincerely hope it will, to give the 
 labourer a comfortable old age at home, there will be little left for 
 him to complain about, if only like Virgil's rustic, he can appreciate 
 the blessings and advantages he enjoys. 
 
 The best scheme undoubtedly will be one which induces thrift. 
 The Poor- Law gives scant encouragement to that useful virtue now, 
 and if this fact is doubted, listen to a tale of woe. 
 
 The only thrifty labourer I ever knew, had such an inextinguishable 
 horror of the workhouse, that during a long life he scraped together 
 out of his wages — which never could have exceeded twelve shillings 
 weekly — one hundred pounds. But when his day was over, and the 
 night was coming on, the Relieving Officer got wind of this unusual 
 hoard of gold, and refused to give him help, either in money or in 
 bread, so long as he could make his savings last, although the 
 spendthrift and the drunkard were being liberally supplied. This 
 appeared of course such hard lines, that he would mount to the very 
 summit of his roof, and loudly proclaim against all idea of thrift, 
 
io8 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 pointing to his own case as an instance of its bad effects, at the 
 same time advising all his hearers to spend every farthing they 
 possessed. 
 
 I may also mention among the advantages which the English 
 labourer has, so little does he know about compulsory military 
 service, which all have reason to dislike abroad, that in the hay- 
 field, during the luncheon hour, when I repeated Dibdin's justly 
 celebrated, "All's well," and invited my hearers to explain 
 
 " The sentry walks his lonely round," 
 
 they replied that all must know a sentry is synonymous with a 
 hundred years. 
 
 The song has reference to the soldier and the sailor, but one of my 
 men who has a poetic turn of mind, requested permission to supply 
 another verse introducing the agricultural labourer. A request 
 with which I readily complied, and received the following, almost 
 impromptu, lines : 
 
 "And on the agricultural ground. 
 When snow and frost lie thick around, 
 Careless alike of wind and cold, 
 The faithful shepherd guards his fold ; 
 And as he tends the sheep with care, 
 The farmer's voice salutes his ear : 
 What-cheer ? ^'Joseph quickly tell ! 
 The cows ? The colts ? 
 Good night ! All's well ! " 
 
 This man's father and grandfather were also poetic in their way, 
 and, so tradition runs, they possessed the faculty of " rhyming 
 almost anything." After a fashion, which appears to have been 
 current in old days. 
 
 Johnson : " Sir ! I composed a good line yesterday." 
 
 Goldsmith : "Then, let us have it, and I will add a bad one to it." 
 
 • Joseph Shirley, who was acting as my shepherd then. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 109 
 
 My man also tells me he can trace his ancestry back in an unbroken 
 line so far as our registers extend, and that his progenitors all lie 
 in our church-yard. So that when I view their last resting place, I 
 feel incHned to say : 
 
 " Some mute inglorious Milton there may rest." 
 
 But speaking of village amusements, in the summer) none was 
 followed, when I was at home from school, with greater zeal than 
 cray-fishing. This is truly the poor man's recreation ; and on 
 summer evenings the banks of our streams were lined with joyous 
 bands, eagerly engaged in catching the little crustacean in nets. 
 The air till long past midnight was filled with happy sounds and 
 laughter ; and if the hooting owl and foxes calling to their cronies, 
 made the timid keep together, the party seldom broke up without 
 promises to meet again at the river bank to-morrow. 
 
 But as I said before, civilization, factories, and gas have com- 
 pletely put an end to this favourite recreation — in one of our 
 streams at least. The sewage refuse and other poisonous com- 
 pounds, which are emptied into our brook at Chipping Norton, 
 have killed every living thing within it. I and the other riparian 
 owners remonstrated in vain ; and when, as a modern Naboth, I 
 sent in a humble petition that my water might be spared, I was 
 advised to go to law — With a Corporation rich as Croesus, and 
 lawyers, who although socially the best of men, are so acute in 
 argument that I should be rash indeed to try a fall with them. 
 In fact, justice in such a cause must be viewed like the golden 
 apples in Hera's garden, guarded by the Hesperides. 
 
 During the holidays I passed a great deal of my cray-fishing time 
 in company with a farmer, long since dead, who always alluded to 
 any unusual occurrence as " a coincidence which had transpired." 
 He was somewhat inclined to en-bon-point, and so was Keren - 
 happuch,* his wife, a very worthy soul. These two one day went to 
 
 * This, in old days, was a rare village for what were called good scripture names. We had Pharoah, David, 
 Amos, Caleb, Joshua, Eli, Noah, Jonah, besides girls called after the daughters of Job and others. 
 
no THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 a neighbouring fair together to sell some cows, whilst their tirst-born, 
 little Job, who had not yet been weaned, was left behind. But on 
 arrival at the fair, Keren-happuch missed her child on feeling a 
 certain tightness in the chest. Her husband advised her to drive 
 home again in order to find relief: but no! she had come to see 
 her spinster sisters, Jemima and Kezia, and then she strolled away 
 to the outskirts of the town, where soon she found the very thing 
 she wanted — a van, in which was seated a Bohemian lass giving 
 nourishment to her child. A bargain soon was struck, and in 
 almost less than no time, Keren-happuch was comfortably seated in 
 the van, enveloped in the mother's cloak, partly to deceive the 
 brat she now was nursing, and partly to avoid the recognition of 
 any friends who might be wandering by. The real mother thought 
 this interlude a favourable opportunity to execute an errand, but 
 hardly had she passed from sight, when a hurried footstep 
 approached from the other side, and a man entered the van, where 
 silently he raised the cloak, dropped something heavy into the 
 nurse's lap, and then went off as quickly as he came. 
 
 My friend with the scripture name, subsequently informed me that 
 she could not make out at first what little game was up ; but to 
 her great surprise she found the article, which so unceremoniously 
 had been given into her charge, was no other than her husband's 
 purse crammed full of gold. Just then the mother of the child 
 returned, and after mutual smiles and thanks for favours given, 
 the farmer's wife hastened to the fair, where she soon saw an 
 excited group of people, with her husband in the midst, narrating 
 how he had sold his cows for cash, and how some rascal had 
 subsequently picked his pocket. But of course his lamentations 
 ceased, when his wife appeared upon the scene, and holding up the 
 purse, jocularly asked, whether he had ever seen " anything like 
 that" before. 
 
 It may be briefly stated that when the owner of the van subse- 
 quently demanded the money from his wife, and she knew nothing 
 of it, he commenced to beat her. Constables appeared upon the 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. m 
 
 scene, and the whole " coincidence which had transpired " coming 
 to light, the rogue was lodged for six months in Oxford jail. 
 
 About this time, the pohtical economy of Sir Robert Peel, and 
 Messrs, Cobden and Bright, was the principal topic of conversation 
 among the farmers. One day I came upon a small landholder, 
 executing a manoeuvre in a ditch : He was springing high into the 
 air, and bringing his heel viciously down on a clod below. I 
 asked him what he was about, and he replied, " That's how I would 
 serve Sir Robert Peel and all his crew, if I only had them here." 
 
 Cheap bread certainly was a splendid boon to the generation 
 which followed the introduction of free corn, but it has left a legacy 
 of, say ten million mouths, which seem now to puzzle statesmen 
 how to feed. If anyone wishes clearly to see what ten millions 
 mean, let him throw down upon the granary floor five sacks of 
 wheat, which according to calculations I have made, contain about 
 that quantity of grains. The number seems appalling when applied 
 to surplus mouths. 
 
 Whether the millions which have been nourished on cheap 
 bread are thankful for their creation and preservation, opinions 
 perhaps may differ. " Is life worth living? " appears a moot point, 
 but paradoxically the poor say " Yes," the rich say " No." 
 
 For years I have made a point of asking tramps without a home 
 and friends, if they are happy, and whether they would like to live 
 their lives over again, just as it has been, with all its hopes and 
 fears. Their answer is almost invariably " Yes," and when I have 
 implied that they are lucky fellows, for the rich almost invariably 
 say " No," they say, " But consider the cares and anxieties the 
 rich inherit," and I add, " what an unpleasant time many of them 
 have at school ! " 
 
 The Caliph Abdul Rahman, mentioned by Gibbon, bore good 
 testimony to the saying that " Life would be endurable but for 
 its amusements," when he wrote, "Riches, honours, and power, 
 and pleasure have waited on my call, nor does any earthly 
 blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity, during a 
 
112 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 prosperous reign of fifty years. In this situation I have dihgently 
 numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness, and they amount 
 to fourteen." 
 
 For my part I can fairly say that my happy days have far 
 exceeded the scanty hours of the Spanish CaHph; and although, 
 according to my Marlborough tutor, I had qualified myself for a 
 long period of transportation, I experienced full fourteen happy 
 days after the news arrived that I had passed the examination at 
 the India House, and I was admitted to the East India College at 
 Haileybury. I certainly did not feel the peculiar ecstasy which 
 absorbed me when I heard my father had arrived to take me home 
 for the first hoHdays of Marlborough College. But still I should 
 have been gl id if Joshua could have been present, to postpone sine 
 die the progress of the sun ; for what I considered riches and 
 honour seemed spread out before me, and I would gladly have 
 surveyed them for ever, in prospective. 
 
 Another undoubted evil of unlimited Free-Trade, in this neigh- 
 bourhood at all events, is that a large proportion of the fields are 
 fertile, not with corn, but with the couch-grass and thistles. 
 
 ** * . . . . non ullus aratro. 
 
 Dignus honos, squalent abductis arva colonist' 
 
 When I was travelling in a certain part of the Ottoman Empire, I 
 passed much fertile land uncultivated, as ours is here, and in answer 
 to enquiries, my dragoman said it was not considered worth anyone's 
 while to cultivate it, for when a good crop appeared the government 
 myrmidons pounced down and bagged it. I think of this when our 
 tax-collector calls on me, and carries off the surplus which my farm 
 has yielded. But I comfort myself by the reflection that I must 
 expect to pay up for the many privileges which a free-born English- 
 man enjoys, and fortunately I am not dependent on my farm for 
 daily bread. I have kept most careful accounts since I took to 
 
 * Little encouragcnieiu is given to speed the plough. The labourers have left the place, and thistles are 
 rampant in the fields. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 113 
 
 farming, and can satisfy my men, and capital fellows they all are, 
 that they receive at least their share, which I acknowledge is not 
 much, of the spoils which my land produces. " But in hope we 
 plough, in hope we sow, in hope we are all led," and I also hojje in 
 time, as my land improves, to get a fair return for capital expended. 
 
 It would be a happy thing for England if those capitalists who 
 lend money to foreign nations would sink it in land at home, and 
 raise eight or ten quarters to the acre, where now thistles alone are 
 rampant. 
 
 But in order thoroughly to appreciate and enjoy a country life 
 and farming, the landlord should be his own bailiff, and work 
 occasionally with his men, for there is no better exercise than to 
 lead half-a-dozen mowers, and listen to the snoring of the scythes 
 as they follow up behind. He must not expect, however, to stick 
 to the work as the labourers do, and I always congratulate myself 
 in being able to leave off when I have had enough hard work. By 
 taking a part in the work myself, I get behind the scenes, and 
 acquire useful knowledge. 
 
 Not long ago I took a fancy to dig a well, through eighteen feet 
 of gravel, till I came to a spring of water, clear and pure as crystal. 
 I learnt a fact that time, which sanitary officers would do well to 
 note. I left the mouth of the well open for some days, and when I 
 descended then, I found the water, so pure at first, had become 
 quite putrid, and unfit to drink. But the reason was not far to 
 seek; for during the time it remained open, mice, frogs, beetles 
 and other small deer had tumbled into it, and all except the frogs 
 were drowned. Hence I came to the conclusion that wells, if not 
 properly secured above, are always liable to be polluted. Whereas, 
 although I dug a well on another occasion, close to an old farm yard, 
 I could not find the slightest trace of pollution through the soil itself, 
 a foot below the surface. 
 
 I trust I shall never see England divided into small holdings 
 such as I have seen in France. For to say nothing of other evils, 
 the small holders missing their cash on Saturday night would cut 
 
 I 
 
114 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 down every tree for tiring, and then good-bye to the blackbird and 
 the cuckoo, without whose notes the Spring would be a joyless time. 
 I have walked hundreds of miles in France, taking shelter in farm 
 houses when night approached, and I could never see that the 
 farmers or small holders were so well off as our labourers here. 
 They lived on scanty food, and their stores were kept under the bed 
 on which I lay, while, perhaps, a cow would occupy the room 
 below. 
 
 " I hope you have slept well," my hostess would enquire. 
 
 " I should have slept nmch better but for that horrid hcte noire 
 below ! " 
 
 "Horrid hcte noire! " my hostess screamed. " Why my beautiful 
 cow has been my lullaby ever since I was a child." 
 
 Allotments, where the producer is also the consumer, are of 
 course invaluable to the labourer, but here everyone is so well 
 supplied with land, that surplus stock of potatoes, cabbages, and 
 onions, might be hawked about for a month without finding a 
 purchaser. 
 
 I have met in the Riviera any amount of landlords, whom 
 agricultural depression has sent abroad ; and whea the novelty has 
 worn off, they must find time hang heavily on their hands. 
 
 Several of these good fellows asked me one day to accompany 
 them to a bull-fight in Spain; and when we arrived on the scene 
 of action I thought I had never witnessed a grander spectacle. 
 Eight or ten thousand people gaily dressed, seated in tiers around 
 an area quite an acre in extent ; a cloudless sky above, and as the 
 carnival was going on, hundreds of masqueraders were performing 
 various antics, of which we had a bird's-eye view. Some bull- 
 fighting followed, to the immense delight of the young men and 
 maidens, old men and children, gathered there ; whilst I, although 
 glad to see what the thing was like, should not care to witness such 
 a scene again. 
 
 When all was over, and we were coming down the steps outside, 
 a sylph-like Basque maiden, whose face was hidden by a mask, said 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 117 
 
 something to me which I didn't understand, but which, as the 
 crowd was great, I interpreted as a request to preserve her from 
 being crushed or falHng down the break-neck stairs, and forthwith 
 she put her arm upon my shoulder until we reached the ground. 
 Then off she went, saying something which no doubt meant thanks 
 for my assistance. By the time I had reached the hotel I had 
 forgotten all about the incident. But it was recalled by an American 
 gentleman, with whom I was acquainted, calling out, " I guess that 
 gal seemed mightily fond of you, sir ! " 
 
 " Yes: didn't she ! " I replied, not knowing what else to say. 
 
 We were standing before one of those huge mirrors so common 
 in hotels abroad, and raising my eyes. Oh, horror ! a gold pin 
 shaped like an elephant, which was given me in Burmah, and which 
 I valued very much, was gone. Of course, I saw it all ; and 
 involuntarily I upbraided — to use no harsher term — that treacherous 
 maiden, downstairs and upstairs too. 
 
 I went to the bureau and informed the landlord about my 
 grievance, and offered a reward if anyone could get my property 
 back, though, of course, I could not identify the supposed robber 
 if I saw her. But the landlord only shrugged his shoulders, and 
 coolly said " he thought I must be mistaken, for the devil never 
 tempted Basques, as he could not learn their language ; and as for 
 the Basque maidens " — here he turned his eyes towards the ceiling 
 — " they were only a little lower than the angels." 
 
 " Whatever they may be," I angrily replied, " write up my 
 reckoning, as I shall stop no longer in this den of thieves ; " and I 
 went upstairs to pack my things. But I soon came down again, 
 and at the door of the hotel a breakful of joyful people, who 
 were starting for a pic-nic, kindly asked me as I passed by, to join 
 them, in that free and easy manner so conspicuous abroad. 
 
 I needed no second bidding and was clambering up behind, when 
 my host appeared upon the scene all bows and smiles, and seeing 
 me, he offered his congratulations on my good taste in not deserting 
 him for ever, as he was certain sure, throughout the length and 
 
 ^ 
 
ii8 THE EARLY DAYS OE 
 
 breadth of Europe, I could not possibly be so comfortable else- 
 where. I bowed assent, and told him that althouf^h I was not 
 prepared to endorse all he had said about the Basques, they 
 certainly were not so bad as I had thought them during my recent 
 interview with him. I did not tell him why, just then, as I was 
 not prepared to enter into a long rigmarole about a slight affair 
 which could bripg no glory to myself. But the fact was that when 
 I opened the drawers to pack up my goods, the first thing I saw 
 was my gold pin, stuck in another tie. 
 
 I had no cause for regret in joining this joyous throng, for I made 
 the acquaintance of a man in whose company, during my stay in the 
 Riviera, I passed a good deal of my time. I won't take liberties 
 with his name, for although I am proud enough of his acquaintance, 
 he may not be equally so of mine. I will therefore content myself 
 with describing him as " a perfect gentleman and first-class fellow," 
 the expression used by a French attache to the party who intro- 
 duced us. These, so far as I could discover, were the only English 
 words the attache knew, and he used them indiscriminately to every 
 Englishman he saw. But it may be fairly said he sprung no solecism 
 here, for the name of my new acquaintance with "Professor" added 
 to it, is mentioned in every seat of learning with applause. 
 
 The scene of our pic-nic was on the top of a lovely hill over- 
 looking France and Spain; where the eye can wander over a 
 hundred square miles of vineyard and olive orchards, backed by the 
 Pyrenees capped with peaks of snow, which only fade from sight 
 where the rotundity of the earth dips them below the horizon. It 
 is a Paradise for the botanist, though the constant popping of 
 chasseurs has well-nigh exterminated those rare '* British birds," 
 whose natural habitat is there in Summer. Orioles and Hoopoes, 
 Bee-eaters and Rollers, whose bright plumage, if only spared, would 
 form a pleasing adjunct to the scenery. 
 
 The small-holders in France have also long ago polished off their 
 fish and game of every kind. Few people have flogged the Riviera 
 streams so zealously as I, but I had always to undergo a consider- 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. iiq 
 
 able amount of chaff as I hurried along to the river bank, for every 
 one would ask in hilarious tones what I hoped to catch; and when 
 I landed a small trout and spoke of my success, I was supposed 
 to be romancing. But lack of sport in angling could always 
 be compensated in other ways. For life was quite worth living, 
 when seated by the stream I saw Camberwell beauties and 
 painted-ladies come flitting b}-, or watched the vultures soaring 
 overhead beneath a cloudless sk}'. One day, as I was whipping a 
 stream with an " orange grouse," a stone came flying from some 
 rocks above into the water by my side, and looking up I saw an evil 
 looking fellow slyly making ready to have another shy. I put down 
 my rod and clambered up the bank to give the man a thrashing — if 
 I could — but when I got near I saw he had a wooden leg, which 
 made me burst out laughing, and I contented myself with menacing 
 him with a stick and driving him away. Some of his countrymen 
 presently came strolling by, and I heard from them the fellow was 
 more or less an idiot, much given to impish tricks. 
 
 It always appears strange to me that so few people are able to 
 identify the plants around ; and on the occasion of the pic-nic I was 
 holding forth on the splendid flora which this beautiful region 
 enjoys — for it is pleasant to impart knowledge when one can. Here, 
 however, whenever the Professor opened his lips, I had to hold my 
 tongue, and experience the mortification which Goldsmith felt, when 
 a German interrupted him with, " Silence ! Silence ! Toctor 
 Shonson is going to speak." 
 
 We were all reduced to silence, when the Professor, perched on 
 the very summit of the hill with his arms folded, and his eyes 
 screwed up, evidently was preparing for a lecture, whilst everyone 
 gathered round to hear the honied words which should proceed 
 from such a well stored fountain. We had not long to wait, for 
 raising his arm and extending it towards a spur of the Pyrenees, he 
 said, " Wellington drove Soult over the hills we see." Here he 
 paused, looking around to satisfy himself that everyone was listen- 
 ing, and he was about to re-commence when a Britisher, who looked 
 
120 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 every inch successful, but whose school education, like mine, had 
 evidently been neglected, innocently struck in, 
 
 " Dear me ! Only fancy, drove over those hills ! In a Diligence, 
 I suppose ? " 
 
 This sage remark reached the Professor's ears ; he turned his 
 eyes to mine and gave me a vacant stare, drew in his breath as 
 though he was preparing for a champion dive, and then collapsing 
 on the ground, rolled some distance down the hill, where he clutched 
 a friendly bush, which saved ahke further progress and his neck ; 
 and in this undignified position he sent forth most awful peals o^ 
 laughter. 
 
 Elia has shown us that a bully is not always a coward; that ill- 
 gotten gains sometimes prosper ; and here before us was clearly 
 demonstrated that loud laughter does not necessarily "proclaim a 
 vacant mind." 
 
 But as I have again wandered far away from school, I will refer 
 briefly to our village before giving a short account of the 
 stirring events which took place at Marlborough College during the 
 last half-year I passed there. Someone has suggested that I should 
 mention the traditions relating to the witches, cunning men, and 
 apparitions, which in former days put in an appearance here. But 
 to my mind such rubbish is far better buried in oblivion. It 
 resembles the reasons of Antonio's friend, " Two grains of wheat 
 hid in two bushels of chaff, you shall seek all day e're you find 
 them ; and when you have them they are not worth the search." 
 The Government did well to brand all persons, pretending to possess 
 occult knowledge, as rogues and vagabonds ; for old men and old 
 women have often described to me their fears in childhood when 
 they heard stories — supposed in those days to be strictly true — of 
 witches' midnight frolics, and such-like uncanny things. I would 
 even go a step further, if I could, and brand as rogues and 
 vagabonds all who place in children's hands, books — particularly 
 when they are illustrated — relating to ogres, imps, and dwarfs. 
 Some foolish parents will declare their children love them ; but 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 121 
 
 after a good deal of investigation on my part, I find that children, 
 whose minds are saturated with this unholy lore, invariably dread 
 being alone when darkness falls upon the scene ; although, not 
 improbably to please a strong-minded mamma or nurse, they say 
 they are not afraid. 
 
 Every rood of ground which helps to form our village site, if it 
 could only speak, might probably tell of strange events which at 
 one time or another happened there. Those who witnessed these 
 events not improbably imagined that at least an oral record of them 
 would remain until the end of time, as in the case of the sturdy 
 porter who defended the broken bridge at Rome. But my friend, 
 the postman — with whom I often smoke the pipe of peace and 
 friendship, and who knows more about the village in what we call 
 " old days " than anyone else now living — can tell little of what 
 occurred here beyond the early part of the present century. Within 
 this limit, however, we have ample food for entertainment, and even 
 the immortal "Grouse and the gun-room" would, I honestly believe, 
 have to yield before many of my friend's stories as a frequent 
 generator of mirth ; and we certainly have laughed at them for 
 more than " twenty years." 
 
 One tradition, however, of quite a different type to witches, has 
 been current here so long, that its origin is lost in the mist of ages. 
 It seems to have some connecting link with the Roman camp close 
 by. It has been even said that it formed a favourite theme for 
 Cneius Julius Agricola to make merry over, and that he loved to 
 hear it when, weary with slaughtering ancient Britons, he flung 
 himself upon his couch, or cuhile of those days. Some scholars, 
 finding words used by Tacitus, have attributed the story to that 
 jerky old historian. But others declare that the Latin is very 
 "Monkish and corrupt." I met with the manuscript in Colonel 
 Barrow's " Log," and on the face of it is written in schoolboy 
 hand, a brief translation, accompanied by rude sketches, which here 
 I reproduce for the benefit of those whose studies have not extended 
 go far as to be able to decipher Latin, 
 
122 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 RUSTICUS, JUDMUS ET PORCULUS. 
 
 In rure fragrante, vir rusticus 
 erat, qui in hieme gravissima 
 tristi-que egere ccepit. Nee illi 
 quiddam alimenti ut liberos suos 
 pasceret. 
 
 Ad Judceum seniorem, ava- 
 rum-que, deinde tit, et multtmi 
 supplicans, unam minam pop- 
 oscit. Sed illi avarus, " Pecunia 
 hand facilis est amice ! atsi ar- 
 gento recepto, quale prcedium 
 dabis ? " 
 
 A Countryman being hard up during a severe winter, 
 applies to a Jew for tlie loan of a pound. The Jew after 
 remarking that money is " tight," asks what security is 
 offered if those moneys are forthcoming. 
 
 The Countryman says he will give a porker as .security, 
 on which the Jew is very indignant. 
 
 " Formosum porculum 
 dabo ! " respondit rusticus. 
 
 Turn ira motus-est avar- 
 us, horrescit, ardentes occu- 
 los intorsit lumine glauco, 
 sic or a resolvit. " Scis 
 rustice ! scis ipse ! ut apud 
 nos porculus vetitus esset. 
 Quo modo bestiam obscenam 
 dare audes ? pudet me tecum 
 colloqui ! Vero ut diceret 
 Cicero. "Quod nan opus 
 est, asse carum est." Cito 
 vade rustice ! 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 123 
 
 Dixit autem rusticus, " porciilus incus 
 duns iiiinas valeret ! et e^o vero imam 
 minam requiro ! 
 
 Turn ait autem senior intra se. 
 " Quid faciam, ut aliquid lucri extor- 
 queam ? Scio quid faciam ! fclara 
 voce) adducite ilium, sed non adducite 
 ad nos. Due age ad servunt meum, 
 Christianiim. llle vero bestiam obsce- 
 nam accipiet! " 
 
 Dixit / et nummum exiguum, cum 
 pessima pictura, in manu agricolcB dedit, 
 et gaudens agricola exiit. 
 
 Hearing, however, that the porker is worth 
 £2, the Jew tells his customer to take the 
 "unclean beast" to his Christian servant, and 
 advances certain moneys, and an " old mas- 
 ter " picture, to make up the full £1. Exit 
 Countryman well satisfied. 
 
 Cum sera factum 
 esset, senioris servus, 
 Christianus veniens 
 ait. " D amine, por- 
 cidus tuns venit, et 
 aliquid dare opportet 
 ut manducaret.^' 
 
 In the evening the servant announces the porker's arrival, and says it 
 must be fed. The Jew never thought of that ; but provides cash for food. 
 
124 
 
 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 Et non post multos dies, 
 valuit porculus et pin- 
 guescit, sicut oinnes 
 ilium videntes dixere. 
 " Ecce auteni, porcum 
 pulchrissimum usitatis- 
 simum-que ! 
 
 In time the animal gets fat, and is pronounced by experts to be a 
 " useful pig," so the Jew tells his servant to sell it at market, as he 
 believes the Countryman vtfill not return to claim his property. 
 
 His rebus cognitis, 
 senior Judceus palmas 
 suas confricans, in 
 sinu gavisus-est, ad 
 servum suum dixit - 
 que. Scio agricolam 
 nunquam venturuni 
 ad argentum redden- 
 dum. Ad emporium 
 ite, et porcum vende. 
 His jussis auditis 
 profecturus est Chris- 
 tianus. Sed interim 
 rusticus ipse veniens 
 dixit. " Ecce argen- 
 
 As the servant is starting for the market, the Countryman appears on the ^ ... 
 
 scene, tenders the pound and demands his porker, but the Jew in no measured tum tUUm, U a mint 
 terms demands the moneys spent on food. , 7 
 
 porcutum meum se- 
 nior I " 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 
 
 »2S 
 
 Indignattis est senior, respondit-que. 
 " Bestiam tuam pascendo, niultas pecunias 
 impendi ! illas restitue etiam! '^^ Sed illi 
 agricola, " patientiam habe. De pascendo 
 in cautionem nihil scriptum est senior. 
 Da mihi porculum meum ! " 
 
 Venmi ubi nulla 
 fugam reperit 
 pellacia, victus 
 dixit avarus, ^'Me 
 piget stultitice 
 mece. Tolle bes- 
 tiam obscenam 
 tuam et vade ! " 
 Tum pYofectus- 
 
 The Countryman points out that there is no stipulation as to food in the bond, ^^t, CUM pOVCO SUO 
 and the Jew finding no means of escape returns the pig, which the Countryman 7 . . • 
 
 drives home. "^ ^' ^ CXUltanS, YUStlCUS. 
 
 Et multa querens, 
 avarus in domo sua f 
 revertit. 
 
 QWhilst the Jew in a state of great indignation and anguish 
 returns to his house. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 T LENGTH the time arrived when I was to spend 
 my last half-year at school ; and when I arrived at 
 Marlborough, in August, 185 1, I knew no more of 
 the subjects which formed the curriculum of the 
 school, than 1 did when I first arrived eight years 
 before ; and what otherwise might have been the 
 joyous spring-time of my life had been, with a few 
 bright intervals, little better than a dreary winter of chronic hunger 
 and fear of impending evil in and out of school. No one had ever 
 made the feeblest effort to teach me anything, and the cane had 
 completely failed to drive the Latin grammar into my head. Nor 
 was I alone in this misfortune, for most of the other boys who 
 arrived at school without having been previously "grounded," rowed 
 in exactly the same boat with me. 
 
 I can't imagine why the head master did not direct my father to 
 remove me and to try some other school, for all along it was clear 
 I should never be a credit to the place, without a deal more 
 attention than my so-called preceptors felt inclined to give to me. 
 But it was high time that I should make a start, for my uncle, who 
 was a Director of the East India Company, had given me a 
 nomination for the Civil Service in Bengal, and there was clearly 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 127 
 
 no time to lose if I intended to qualify myself for the entrance 
 examination, which would admit me to Haileybury, the East India 
 College of those days. 
 
 Although the examination would have been a mere bagatelle to 
 any forward boy ; when I read out the subjects to my friends at 
 school they laughed very heartily, and remarked that I might as 
 well attempt to jump over the moon as to " get round " them ; and 
 they laughed again when I said I was about to take advantage of a 
 newly-established rule, by which I could have an hour's private 
 tuition from a master in his bedroom, twice a week. 
 
 When subsequently I presented myself before Mr. Hutchinson 
 in his garret overlooking the wilderness, this gentleman, who had 
 lately taken first-class University honours, held up his hands in 
 mute astonishment at the small amount I had imbibed at the 
 fountain of knowledge during the past eight years. He raised his 
 hands again when I told him I hoped to pass the best years of my 
 life in India ; this time remarking it appeared to him like a longing 
 for an indefinite period of transportation. 
 
 We then turned our attention to the subjects for examination. 
 A certain amount of Greek and Latin ; the Gospels in Greek ; 
 four books of Euclid ; Paley's Evidences ; Arithmetic, Geography, 
 and English History. In case I omitted to do so at the time, I 
 take this opportunity, after a lapse of more than forty years, to 
 express my gratitude for the patient way in which my tutor listened 
 to my blunders, and the trouble he took, not in attempting to 
 drive me, but to lead me along the road to knowledge. I soon 
 made a certain amount of progress, and now that light was thrown 
 upon the subject, I found that my difficulties in the Latin grammar 
 were chiefly imaginary, and that a world of trouble would have 
 been saved, had I only known that unconsciously I illustrated the 
 three concords or agreements in Latin, almost every time I spoke 
 in English. 
 
 Directly my tutor told me that the " Georgics " related to country 
 life, I selected them as my Latin subject for examination ; and for 
 
128 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 those who have never even heard of this beautiful poem, I may 
 briefly mention that when Augustus Caesar passed his small-holdings 
 Act, giving allotments to his veteran soldiers, nearly two thousand 
 years ago, he, or perhaps Maecenas, directed Virgil, the Poet 
 Laureate, to describe the pleasures of a country life and demon- 
 strate that true happiness is be derived from the cultivation of corn 
 and vineyards, and in the production of honey. 
 
 We may imagine with what delight the veterans, grouped beneath 
 the trees in the Roman suburbs, listened to the poem read aloud ; 
 and how they longed for the time when each should sit beneath 
 his own vine and fig tree, where the song of the blackbird, the lark, 
 and the cuckoo should awake them, instead of the unwelcome 
 reveille ; where the din of battle would be changed to the murmur- 
 ing cascade, and where the only evidence that such an evil as war 
 exists, would be the rusty weapons and empty helmets turned up 
 by the ploughshare. We may also imagine, on arriving at the 
 beautiful peroration of the first " Georgic," how many of the 
 veterans bore testimony, with the gesture and circumlocution 
 peculiar to age, and amid the laughter of the sceptics, how they 
 themselves, whilst returning from some revel well lined with Chian 
 wine, had been scared by ghosts, and distinctly heard " the old cow 
 of Mopsus," or " the sheep of Meliboeus," lamenting the assassi- 
 nation of Julius Caesar, 
 
 " . . . et simulacra modis pallentia miris 
 Visa sub obscurum noctis, pecudesque loctttce.'' * 
 
 When the fourth " Georgic " appeared, we may imagine what 
 eager enquiries were made for stocks or swarms of bees for sale ; 
 whilst the blacksmith, who had been doing a roaring trade in 
 converting swords into sickles, and spears into ploughshares, gave a 
 hearty encore to the lines beginning 
 
 "Ac veluti lentis Cyclopes fulmina massis," 
 
 * " Pale spectres in the close of night were seen, 
 
 Dumb sheep and oxen spoke." — Drydetits Translation. 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 129 
 
 his brawny arms involuntarily keeping time with the anvil rhythm, 
 *' Gemit impositis incudibus JBtna.'" 
 
 History repeats itself; and lately, when I took the chair at a 
 lecture on Bee-keeping given by the County Council at our National 
 School, in connection with the recent Small Holdings Act; instead 
 of a poem we had magic lantern slides, showing the advantages 
 to be derived from the production of honey on the modern system ; 
 and the lecturer threw upon an illuminated sheet the representation 
 of an ideal apiary in Wales, which reminded us of Martin's picture 
 of " The Plains of Heaven," or the home of Pastor Aristaeus in 
 Thessalian Tempe, during its palmy days. Unfortunately, instead 
 of introducing Ceres looking down from heaven with a favourable 
 aspect, as Virgil did, I could only speak of the series of bad seasons 
 which now-a-days, both farmers and bee-masters must contend with. 
 
 How astonished Julius Caesar would have been when first he 
 sighted England, or as he sat before his camp fire at night over 
 Pegwell Bay, watching the Septentriones; had he been told that his 
 commentaries would be reproduced by tens of thousands ; and even 
 after nineteen centuries had passed, form the principal study of 
 little English schoolboys. Horace certainly declared that his works 
 would be more durable than brass; but doubtless it would have 
 pleased him had he been told that quotations from his thoughts 
 would stamp that future variety of his species known as "the English 
 gentleman." And a mirror reflecting what I have written in his 
 honour held up before Virgil's eyes, might not have provoked a 
 frown. 
 
 But however that may be; standing as I did, in the rank of 
 backward boys, it was with no small amount of trepidation that 
 I presented myself for three days' examination at the India 
 House. I was not strong in any subject, but classics formed my 
 weakest point. The first day I was invited to translate the 17th 
 chapter of St. Luke from Greek into English ; and although a 
 fifth form boy would have rattled it off with only an occasional 
 
 K 
 
130 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 glance at the book, I scanned the text anxiously before giving 
 my examiner a specimen of my powers. But the years I had 
 attended Chapel at School stood me in good part, for I knew 
 the English almost by heart, and I was able to advance, though 
 somewhat tediously. On arriving at the last verse I felt quite 
 happy, and was about to give my examiner a homily on the 
 Natural History of the Holy Land, and how to distinguish eagles 
 from vultures if he saw them, when, as Natural History was 
 evidently neither here nor there to him, he preremptorily sent me 
 to the right-about and called up another lad. 
 
 I have robbed many an eagle's and vulture's nest since that 
 eventful day, and always found the best way to deal with vulture's 
 eggs was to drill a large round hole and get a low caste fellow, for a 
 consideration, to shake the contents out. 
 
 The next day I was told to construe the peroration of the first 
 " Georgic," commencing where the poet alludes to the prophetic 
 nature of the sun. This was very fortunate, for I know it better 
 than any other part, and I managed to go ahead, though I felt 
 considerable relief when I arrived at the last three lines, which 
 have never been surpassed for beauty or pathos in any language. 
 Then, after giving a specimen of my knowledge — or rather want of 
 knowledge — of grammar, I was rising to depart when my examiner 
 said, "By the bye, what is the perfect of Audco ? " to which I 
 jauntily replied, " Atuiivi." The contortion of that examiner's face 
 was almost terrible to behold ; he was so steeped in classical lore 
 that a grammatical error afforded him intense anguish, and I have 
 often thought my Indian career at that moment was trembling in 
 the balance. Luckily I saw my error, and correcting myself, gave 
 " Ausus-sum," on which his face brightened up and the dark cloud 
 which had come over it passed away. I considered this a fine 
 opportunity for asking so learned a man under what circumstances 
 such extraordinary things as deponent verbs had crept into the 
 Latin tongue, and how in the fine 
 
 " Agricola, incurvo terram molitus aratro,^* 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 131 
 
 the last word could be shot down so far from its adjective without 
 the sacrifice of sense ? Those were the days of table-turning, and 
 on second thoughts, as the examiner probably would have resented 
 the tables being turned on him, I prudently reserved my questions 
 for a more convenient season, and contentedly retired. 
 
 In Homer I had to translate that interesting domestic squabble 
 which ends with 
 
 "Jove on his couch reclined his awful head. 
 And Juno slumbered on the golden bed." 
 
 Although nearly thirty centuries have passed away since this 
 scene was first depicted by the great epic poet, scholars and school- 
 boys in each succeeding generation of the Arian race spread over 
 Europe, have chuckled at it ; the features of even the sternest 
 Dominie relax as he reads how the quarrel ceases on the production 
 of nectar, and he arrives at the two best known lines in Homer. 
 
 "Vulcan with awkward grace his office plies, 
 • And unextinguished laughter shakes the skies." 
 
 I have always thought the Odyssey spoilt the Iliad to a con- 
 siderable extent, and that it was a mistake to make the heroes 
 afraid of any earthly thing. Who would care to read Ivanhoe 
 again if Sir Walter had made the Black knight hang on to a ram 
 to escape from either man or monster ? However, I managed to 
 squeeze through the passage set me to construe, though the 
 examiner doubtless did not require a microscope to see that I 
 was no Greek scholar. 
 
 In India I was often called on to play the role of examiner myself, 
 and I much preferred sitting on his side of the table to the other, 
 particularly when I had to examine the natives in their own 
 language, alongside the English poets ; for as happiness, however 
 attained, is the great aim and object of human life, my natural 
 sense of the ridiculous made these examinations a source of 
 considerable enjoyment. 
 
 K2 
 
132 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 " Now, Baboo," I would ask, " What are the subjects you are 
 taking up ? " 
 
 " Mister Shakespeare, Mister Goldsmith, and Bengali." 
 
 " Well, sit down, and pray what makes you appear so fright- 
 ened ? " 
 
 " Your Worship, I am a coward, sprung from a race of cowards ; 
 and you appear before me as a lion." 
 
 " Oh, if that's all, you have no cause for apprehension, for in the 
 words of Mister Shakespeare, I will ' roar like any sucking dove or 
 nightingale.' Let me hear you say a few words in Bengali, though 
 I have no doubt you know as much about the language as I do. 
 Indeed, on second thoughts, I will take it for granted that you do, 
 and decline betraying my own ignorance by examining you ; We will 
 therefore pass on to Mister Goldsmith." 
 
 The Baboo reads : — 
 
 " No surly porter stands in guilty state, 
 To drive imploring famine from the gate." 
 
 " What do you understand by a surly porter ? " 
 
 "One peevish door-man, your Worship." 
 
 " Very good! See, here is a report from the Inspector of Police: 
 He, says ' he has caught a thief in the act of stealing some rice, and 
 he is sending in the grain to me.' What does he mean by that ? " 
 
 " He is transmitting those corns to your Majesty." 
 
 " Ah 1 Baboo," I involuntarily exclaim, " I envy your power of 
 acquiring knowledge. What a good boy they would have thought 
 you at Marlborough College, where your poor examiner acquired 
 little besides the stick." 
 
 But this reminds me I am rambhng from the point of my 
 discourse, and consequently I will at once return to Marlborough 
 by remarking that what were the causes which led to the so-called 
 Rebellion, which took place during the last half-year I remained at 
 school, those who took a more active part in it could tell probably 
 much better than I can. But generally speaking, it was due to the 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 133 
 
 total absence of any entente cordiale between the masters and the 
 boys. 
 
 It IS undoubtedly better when possible, to rule by love than fear; 
 but so far as I could see, no attempt of such a method was ever 
 made at Marlborough; and except in the case of a few good boys, 
 who took to learning as naturally as they took to their mothers' 
 milk, it was a constant reign of terror. The masters had gigantic 
 powers, and generally they used them as Fi-fo-fums and Blunder- 
 bores. There was no appeal of any kind, when a preceptor scamped 
 his work in neglecting to shed a kindly light over anything we were 
 supposed to learn, and then punished us for our lack of knowledge. 
 Exceptions there were of course, and judging from the manner in 
 which the few favourites among the masters were regarded by the 
 boys, I have little doubt that both our learning and manners would 
 have made far more progress, had all followed the example of the 
 favourite few. 
 
 One of the most reasonable and bravest men I ever knew, when 
 he sent his step-son to school, did so on the condition that he should 
 not be beaten, for he said, " I have commanded a ship for many 
 years without ever having struck a man, and surely you ought to 
 manage a lot of lads without assaulting them." 
 
 Flogging has been abolished in the army, and it ought to be 
 abolished at schools, for there is something degrading and cowardly 
 in a grown up man beating a wretched boy for mere want of 
 knowledge, particularly when the assailant himself is utterly unable 
 to distinguish a monocotyledon from a dicotyledon; hemipterous 
 insects from any others ; or when invited to discourse about Darwin 
 or Croll on cataclysms, thinking himself now quite in his element, 
 proceeds to explain the mysterious "N." or "M." in the Church 
 Catechism. 
 
 " But suppose the boy is a thief or bully ! " some one will exclaim, 
 "How then? " Well certainly this is a difficult subject to approach, 
 and I am getting out of my depth I own. But I should propose 
 trying gentle measures first, and if it is found that certain convq- 
 
134 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 lutions of the brain lead nolens volens, the owner to such nefarious 
 acts, I would propose returning the young gentleman to those who 
 produced and reared him, as they probably are most to blame. 
 
 A grim smile of deep satisfaction will now steal over the counte- 
 nance of those who are for the torture system, when they have read 
 thus far. They will lay down the book and piously exclaim, " Here's 
 a pretty fellow ; he bags rabbits, purloins fish, runs off with a Tom- 
 cat which he owns did not belong to him, and now he poses as a 
 preacher! What a wicked world we live in !" Well, I confess they 
 have me there; but still I am not going to alter what I have written; 
 because if ever I was certain of an3'thing, I am of this ; that had my 
 master called me by my number, or my father by my name, and 
 kindly said, " Look here my lad, I want to ask a favour of you, viz., 
 that you should at once give up, your poaching excursions, and 
 placing yourself and others in danger with your old rusty gun," I 
 would joyously have given a promise to comply with the request, 
 without the slightest fear of ever breaking it. 
 
 But we can't conceal the fact that man is more or less a savage 
 animal, and say what one will, two opinions will surely remain 
 regarding the proper way to manage boys. 
 
 Fireworks, which were strictly forbidden, having been introduced 
 freely into the school on Guy Fawkes Day, lighted up the insub- 
 ordination which had long been smouldering. When the masters 
 appeared in the play ground, squibs and crackers shot out noise 
 and fire round them; and one day when the Head-master had taken 
 up a position in the school, in order to overawe the boys, a bottle, 
 filled with gunpowder exploded with a fearful bang in the fireplace 
 before which he was standing, and made him jump as high as I did 
 when the cane descended on my back. 
 
 He was fortunately unhurt, though he must have had a narrow 
 escape. I forget whether the perpetrator of this outrage was 
 ever known ; but the boy who introduced the fireworks, and got up 
 the subscription for their purchase was discovered, and as he was 
 very popular, his expulsion was made the cause of a monster 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 135 
 
 demonstration. Having learnt somehow the hour of his departure, 
 the whole school, if I remember right, was put in battle-array, and 
 formed up as though in ranks of war. Tramp, tramp, tramp, eight 
 abreast we doubled along the road leading to the town, and woe 
 to any obnoxious person whom we met, and who found no method 
 to escape. 
 
 My old antagonist, the Miller, unfortunately for him, was enjoying 
 a morning's outing on his donkey at the time, and sniffing danger 
 in the air, turned round and did his best to fly. I seem to 
 see him now. Bending his body almost double, he stuck his heels 
 into the donkey's sides, working his legs and arms as the winner of 
 the Derby does when he approaches the winning post. But it 
 availed him little, for a dozen stalwart youths flew after him, and 
 dragging him from his seat, rolled him over and over in the gutter ; 
 whilst his long eared steed delighted to be free, tore down the road 
 exulting, amid the uproarious laughter of the crowd. 
 
 But when the culprit boy came out and entered the carriage 
 which was to end his school days and carry him away, such a shout 
 of disapproval went up, that the Head-master who lived close by, 
 and must have heard it all, doubtless felt that he was quite unfitted 
 to command us. 
 
 The Head-master used to wear a garment, which I believe is 
 called a cassock, tied by a sort of camarband or scarf around his 
 waist, and this, coupled with his short slim figure, gave him a 
 very effeminate appearance, like some Sheristadars in India. 
 
 One evening when I was magistrate of Baraset, in the neigh- 
 bourhood of Calcutta, as my Sheristadar was sitting by me, the 
 sound of horses' hoofs was heard outside my court ; and presently 
 two youthful midshipmen came in and began staring about them in 
 an enquiring manner. At first they only saw the groups of 
 attending natives, but presently their eyes wandered to my chair 
 which was raised on high, and coming near in the cool unconcerned 
 way which sailors have, they enquired if they were right in their 
 conjecture that I was the landlord of an inn. I said their surmise 
 
^^ii^j^jma^t^yfi -iPtw'^V'*'^. '■ 
 
 136 TH£ EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 was wrong, but added I would gladly play the part of host if they 
 could wait a little there. So down they sat, and finding they were 
 in a Court of Justice gazed around — at least, so I supposed — with 
 awe and admiration. 
 
 My Sheristadar, who had a squeaky voice and wore a cassock, 
 came in for a full share of their regard, though they seemed quite 
 puzzled over him. But at length one of them grew impatient and 
 whispered in my ear, " I didn't know you employed old women in the 
 Courts of Justice." 
 
 I wonder if those lads are living now and remember the pleasant 
 time we subsequently had together, for I had not seen an European 
 for some time, and was very thankful for their company. 
 
 But returning to the School : After the ovation I have described, 
 the big bell rang, and for the first time since I came to School I 
 declined the summons, in company with all the other boys, whilst 
 the bell-ringer, who was an obnoxious fellow and was called 
 "Cock-sparrow," had to beat a retreat and run inside his lodge amid 
 a shower of stones. 
 
 Thus the sword of rebellion was drawn and the scabbard thrown 
 away ; but although I had no means of knowing what the ruling 
 party thought about it, as I did in the Indian rebellion, which 
 occurred a few years later; I have little doubt that had a vigorous 
 policy been followed, all might have gone off smoothly even then. 
 
 A love of mischief comes quite naturally to many boys ; and one 
 day, seeing a pair of shoes lying outside a master's bedroom door, 
 some lad injured them so much that their owner demanded the 
 price of another pair. As the culprit was not discovered ; a con- 
 tribution was levied by the master on every boy who slept in the 
 adjoining rooms, and being a good hand at sums, he could calculate 
 to a farthing what each would have to pay. I pleaded abject 
 poverty, but that was no excuse ; the necessary coppers had to be 
 obtained somehow, and every morning youths might be seen at the 
 master's desk bringing in instalments. The lessons were conse- 
 quently neglected, and such a scandal rose, that another n^aster at 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 137 
 
 length was heard to whisper to his mate; " Hold, enough ! we have 
 heard, I think, enough about that old shoe." 
 
 When the rebellion broke out, this incident was made the subject 
 of unfavourable demonstration ; and a leather article which had 
 been discarded from the foot of some labourer or tramp, was hoisted 
 on a pole and stuck over the obnoxious master's desk. But these 
 desks were next the objects for attack ; and one day when I was 
 strolling into school, I spied a vandal band going round the place 
 smashing the desks to atoms. It so happened that the master I 
 was under then had never beaten me, and I rather liked him ; so I 
 begged the vandals to spare his desk ; and I used such convincing 
 arguments on the subject, that they very kindly left it standing, 
 alone amid the general wreck. 
 
 Anyone who has seen the comical manner in which a Crane 
 regards its nest when an oologist steals its eggs, may form some 
 idea of the facial workings of each master as he came into school, 
 and saw his usual resting place was gone. My master's face of 
 course was radiant ; and hearing what had happened, he, much 
 to my confusion, thanked me in no measured terms, but I, who 
 was quite unaccustomed to such courteous words, and really felt 
 ashamed that so slight an action on my part should be rewarded 
 thus, was quite dumbfounded, and indeed as some kind friends 
 informed me after, I looked exactly like a fool whilst the harangue 
 was going on. They asked me also, why I didn't say something on 
 my part, but I replied, or at least ought to have replied, in the words 
 Dr. Johnson : " No, Sir ! when the king had said it, it was so to 
 be. It was not for me to bandy civilities with my sovereign." 
 
 What was the grievance of the leader of these vandals, I never 
 knew, or have forgotten; very probably he didn't know himself; 
 but he was expelled soon after, and I met him in Calcutta, as he 
 passed the competitive examination for the civil service, being a 
 very clever lad. His eyes were unusually close together, giving him 
 a sinister look, but he was full of fun, and doubtless full of mischief 
 too. Many a hearty laugh we had over our days at school, but the 
 
138 THE EARLY DAYS OF 
 
 climate soon proved too much for his constitution, and the last I 
 heard of him was that he had been wandering about in a state of 
 non compos mentis, until a friendly hand led him to his bed from 
 which he never rose again. 
 
 But all this time dark deeds were being carried on, and I heard 
 some lads had tried to set fire to the school ; and whilst chapel was 
 progressing, some of the more daring sprites broke into the masters' 
 rooms, and did much damage. 
 
 It was said that they got hold of a manuscript edition of 
 Sophocles, which the Head-master for a long time had been 
 preparing, and committed it to the flames. But considering the 
 numerous editions of the great Attic tragedian already in existence, 
 scholars probably had less cause to deplore its loss than they had 
 when " Diamond ! " little knew that he had committed a similar 
 act of incendiarism. 
 
 The Head-master sent for me one day to come into his private 
 room, and there I found him in a state of considerable distress. He 
 said he knew not whom to trust, and he asked me what I thought 
 about it all. But I replied truly, that I took very little interest in 
 the matter, and knew nothing more than what was already known 
 to all. He then remarked that he had no intention of asking me to 
 peach on anyone, for which I thanked him, but without mentioning 
 names, he wished very much to know if skeleton keys were being 
 made use of by the rebels. I was perfectly ignorant of the fact, and 
 indeed, with the exception of the desk affair, I had seen no damage 
 done. 
 
 The interview, which made a great impression on me at the time, 
 soon came to an end. When I entered the room I saw one whom 
 hitherto I had regarded almost as a god, but now when I came out, 
 he had henceforth, in my estimation, to take his place with other 
 mortal men. 
 
 The old astrologers who saw, or thought they saw, the destinies 
 of men in the movements of the stars, would perhaps have traced 
 some connecting link between me and the first two Head-masters of 
 
BISHOP COTTON, 
 
 (The second Head-master of Marlborough College; and subsequently Metropolitan of India). 
 
 THE CHAPEL. 
 THE UPPER SCHOOL. STAIRCASE OF THE OLD INN, 
 
MARLBOROUGH COLLEGE. 141 
 
 Marlborough College. When I left school the first Head-master's 
 reign there ended, and the only occasion on which I saw the second 
 master, Bishop Cotton, he met his death before my eyes, in the 
 treacherous river Ganges.* 
 
 The holidays arrived, the rebellion came to an end, and my school 
 days ended also ; but before I had passed the iron railings leading 
 to the town, I stopped to have a last look at the old place where I 
 had grown from a child almost to a man. 
 
 The prisoner of Chillon regained his freedom with a sigh ; but 
 though no sound like that escaped my lips, the recollections of more 
 than eight long years came crowding in my mind, and as generally 
 is the case when looking back, the dark side of the mirror vanished, 
 and the bright side seemed to turn before me ; I was not able how- 
 ever on reflection to deny, that on the whole I had passed an 
 unhappy time at school, and that this was due almost solely to two 
 causes. 
 
 First, not having ~being properly "grounded" before I went to 
 school ; and second, Suifering from almost chronic hunger. 
 
 I hope I shan't be accused of sounding my own trumpet, when I 
 mention that I found the letter "E." tacked on to my name, when 
 my character for the last time arrived at the Rectory ; Undoubtedly 
 so far as looks went, it did very well, for it was better to have 
 begun my school days with " Reprehensible," and finished up with 
 " Exemplary," than to have gone up like a rocket and come down 
 with the stick. But I knew each character was equally undeserved, 
 and when my father demanded an explanation, the only one I could 
 suggest was, that as I had read hungry jurymen invariably give 
 their verdict for the plaintiff in order to save time ; so the Marl- 
 borough jurymen, who, as I had good reasons to suspect, were kept 
 on short commons like myself, stuck down any letter which came 
 first to hand. 
 
 * I gave a brief account of this extraordinary accident in my " Natural History of Monghyr." 
 
A GLIMPSE OF OLD HAILEYBURY. 
 
HAILEYBURY COLLEGE. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A GLIMPSE OF OLD HAILEYBURY. 
 
 N my arrival at the East India College at Haileybury 
 I fell into the ranks of the embryo Bengal adminis- 
 trators who were known as the " Heaven-born." 
 Whether this name was given in sarcasm or not I 
 never cared to ask, for after so many years of 
 qualifying for a prominent position in the Dunciad 
 it sounded very pleasant, and I was content to 
 imagine that it implied superior knowledge not usually meted out 
 to mortals. Accordingly I felt several inches taller than before, and 
 would bring out scraps of Latin — probably misquoted — when I 
 conversed with those who seemed more ignorant than myself, 
 assuming at the same time what appeared to me a grave and 
 thoughtful air. 
 
 L 
 
146 A GLIMPSE OF 
 
 The Professors at the College, who, by the way, were the most 
 shining lights that England could produce, also appear to have 
 suffered from the illusion that we were a cut above the usual run 
 of men, perhaps only a little lower than the angels ; for they encom- 
 passed sea and land in order to produce the most extraordinary 
 questions, and these they invited us to answer. 
 
 I should be curious to know how king Solomon would have ggt 
 on, had the Queen of Sheba taken a fancy to set such questions at 
 her historical examination at Jerusalem ; and I am sure my 
 Marlborough master, who failed to hammer the three concords into 
 me, would have paused in wonder, and thought I must have acquired 
 celestial light somehow, could he have seen me armed with a 
 quire of foolscap and a bundle of pens, sitting down with the 
 following questions on the table, which I was supposed to answer 
 before being qualified for administering justice 
 
 " To the poor Indian, whose untutored mind 
 Sees God in clouds and hears him in the wind." 
 
 1. Is there any limit theoretically to the length of the shorter 
 
 leg of a siphon ? 
 
 2. Find the centre of gravity of a triangle. 
 
 3. Distinguish between the geocentric and heliocentric place of 
 
 a heavenly body. 
 
 4. Give the substance of Miiller's remarks on the stjde of 
 
 Sophocles. 
 
 5. Give the laws of the metre in which the Parabasis of 
 
 Comedy was written. 
 
 6. In what manner has Strabo divided the Gymnosophists ? 
 
 7. Point out any passages in the Tusculan disputations which 
 
 throw any light on the nature and object of the Eleusinian 
 mysteries. 
 
 8. What account has Bishop Butler given of the passion of 
 
 Resentment as distinct from all the abuses of it, and what 
 conclusion has he drawn from that account ? 
 
OLD HAILEYBURY. 147 
 
 Instead of acquiring something less than a smattering of such 
 subjects as these, it would have been far better had we all been 
 bundled out to India and placed in harness at once, in order to 
 become familiar with the vernacular.* 
 
 But there is no use in crying over spilt milk now. The old East 
 India College, with its attendant nepotism, t shortly after my time 
 came to an end. It had been weighed in the balance and, according 
 to some critics, found wanting ; Civil Service appointments were 
 accordingly thrown open to the public, and all that remained for 
 Canon Melvill, our Principal, when he addressed us on our gala 
 boat-race day, was to express a pathetic hope that the " old boat " 
 would not be beaten by the " new." % 
 
 Those who were at the head of the Terms at Haileybury, as a 
 rule distinguished themselves in India, so I have nothing to say 
 against the most forward lads being put into the Indian Civil Service 
 now. But so far as my experience goes, much valuable time is spent 
 in studying other subjects, at the expense of the Oriental spoken 
 languages, for some of the cleverest men are painfully weak in the 
 vernacular, and a thorough knowledge of the language of those we 
 are called on to govern, is much more important than the theoretical 
 length of a syphon, or the heliocentric place of a heavenly body. 
 
 Unfortunately, the subjects for examination appear to be chosen 
 by those who have not been behind the scenes in India, and who 
 
 * Since writing the above, I take the following from the Daily News of April 6th : — " The home question of 
 Welsh-speaking judges for Wales seems to shrink into utter insignificance when we hear of the embarrassments 
 of Anglo-Indian judges who are expected to be conversant with the native languages and dialects. Mr. Luttman- 
 Johnson, an Indian judge, observes that if a judge remained in one district all his service he might acquire 
 such a knowledge of the language as would enable him to charge juries efficiently ;" and the Hon. J. Jardine, 
 of the Bombay Court, in The Asiatic Quarterly, says, " I suppose every judge finds it no easy task to explain 
 correctly to the jury the definitions, explanations, and exceptions which the Penal Code uses about murder and 
 grievous hurt." 
 
 t My uncle, who was a Director of the old East India Company, besides putting me into the Civil Service 
 gave cavalry appointments to my four brothers, 
 
 Colonel J. C. Lockwood (late 20th Hussars). 
 
 Captain H. Lockwood (Aide-de-Camp to Lords Elgin, Lawrence and Mayo). 
 
 Captain R. Lockwood (who died from the effects of an overland journey, in company with 
 Colonel Macgregor, through Beloochistan to India. 
 
 S. D. Lockwood (who subsequently left the Service, and at present is Rector of Kingham). 
 At one time all five brothers appeared on the Indian Official Register together. 
 
 _ { Among the more distinguished rowers in the old boat, when I was in it at Haileybury, I may mention 
 Sir James Gordon, Sir Alfred Lyall, Sir J. B. Lyall, Sir Stewart Bayley, Sir Edward Jenkinson, Sir Aucland 
 Colvin, Sir Charles Bernard, Sir G. D. Pritchard, Sir Charles Grant, Val Prinsep, A.R.A., H. Rivett 
 Carnac, (Hon. Aide-de-Camp to the Queen), J. C. Colvin (the Arrah hero). 
 
 1*2 
 
148 A GLIMPSE OF 
 
 consider little can be done in life without an accurate knowledge of 
 the Greek and Latin grammars, or a facility to extract cube-roots ; 
 and, even if the question is referred to India, Secretaries, and such- 
 like purists, dip their lingers deepest in the pie. 
 
 I would not allow any lad destined for rule in India, to study 
 classics or mathematics after leaving school. Mr. Chiswick was a 
 sensible man, when he declared that the years Warren Hastings had 
 already wasted over hexameters and pentameters were quite sufficient ; 
 and as for twenty years I was behind the scenes, I would make 
 knowledge of the vernacular of primary importance. 
 
 Land measuring is also a very important subject much neglected. 
 A district officer should be able to run a Gunter's chain over disputed 
 land, and tell its area ; and he should be able to tell at a glance the 
 approximate area of a farm. He should know something about 
 agriculture, and the crops of India. During "the famine," as I was 
 walking one day with Sir George Campbell and another high 
 official, (not living now), we passed a crop of maize, and Sir George 
 enquired what it was. The high official replied, he did not know, 
 save that he had seen his servants give something similar to his 
 cows. 
 
 There is such a fearful amount of humbug connected with the 
 studies of embryo Indian administrators, that at the risk of being 
 voted insufferably dull, I must write a few more words in illustration 
 of my theories, for although I am out of the coach myself, I should 
 feel happy if I could do a good turn for the natives of India, who did 
 many good turns for me during my time in harness. 
 
 I was prospecting Owen's " Anatomy of the Vertebrate Animals," 
 one day, and thinking what stiff reading it seemed to be, when one 
 of my assistants, a competition- walla, (since dead), looking over my 
 shoulder, said that he knew all the volumes off by heart, as he had 
 taken them up for examination. Books on botany he also knew by 
 heart, so he declared, and he presented them to me, with the remark, 
 that as he had made a theoretical, so I might make a practical, use 
 pf them. He certainly could not identify the beasts, or birds, or 
 
OLD HAILEYBURY. 149 
 
 plants around, and when I asked him to visit my museum, he said 
 he hated " Bugs and beetles." But he was a very modest fellow, 
 with all his learning, and would patiently try and make the natives 
 understand what he was driving at, in his broad Irish accent, 
 doubtless wishing all the time, that the hours wasted over Owen 
 had been given to Hindustani. 
 
 It is a matter for regret also that the advice of Sir Charles 
 Trevelyan and Sir Monier Williams has not been taken in 
 introducing the Roman character into India, for writing Oriental 
 languages. It is said that no one ever composes good poetry in a 
 foreign tongue, and I am sure no Englishman ever acquired facility 
 in reading the native scrawls. The printed character is bad 
 enough ! 
 
 My father wrote a fearful fist, and in my school-boy days a story 
 was current in the village, which, on the slightest provocation, was 
 pretty sure to be repeated. That on one occasion he sent some 
 written instructions to his clerk, who failed to read them. The 
 schoolmaster was then called in, as an expert to interpret, but, as he 
 failed also, the bright idea occurred that the manuscript should be 
 submitted to the Rector for explanation. And then came the point 
 of the story, which of course was received with laughter, especially 
 by those who wrote a good 
 round hand. For when the 
 manuscript was returned, 
 the Rector himself could ^-_1_ 
 
 make neither head nor tail 
 of what he had written, look 
 at it which way he would. 
 
 But such a manuscript 
 as that, with most of the 
 vowels taken out, would 
 
 give only a faint idea of a specimen of fair Hindustani writing, and scrawl, as it 
 
 document in India, where generally appears in native documents. In English it 
 
 ,1,1 J 1 1 i i means, " Hail cherisher of the poor." Petitions in India 
 
 all the words and letters usually commence thus. 
 
 JL 
 
150 A GLIMPSE OF 
 
 are jumbled up together without stops, commas, or any such friendly 
 clue to guide us to the place where each sentence commences, or 
 where it ends. 
 
 When I read out the Queen's proclamation in Hindustani, before 
 several thousand natives, someone came up and expressed wonder 
 that I could read the Arabic character so fluently. But he ceased 
 to wonder when I showed him my manuscript, which I had carefully 
 prepared beforehand in the Roman character. 
 
 Many years before, I had witnessed a painful exhibition which a 
 Foreign Secretary (long since dead) made, in reading out a native 
 document in the presence of the Governor-General and his staff. It 
 made such an impression on me at the time, that I took the hint, 
 and ever after, slyly changed the native hieroglyphics for something 
 easier, when I was called upon to read out a paper to the natives, or 
 in public. 
 
 But, returning briefly to the East India College. Some time ago 
 I was invited to send reminiscences of my College life, in order to 
 swell a projected volume on Old Haileybary ; but somehow, 
 whenever I began turning over the subject in my mind, I kept 
 involuntarily repeating in the most exasperating way 
 
 " The clock strikes One, supper is done, 
 And Sir Carnaby Jenks is full of his fun, 
 Singing, jolly companions every one." 
 
 The celebrated Bishop of Oxford, who had a hand in abolishing 
 Haileybury, was at the Rectory here one day, during my vacation, 
 and drawing me aside, he asked in a stage whisper, " You are a very 
 fast set at Haileybury, are you not ? " 
 
 " My Lord," I replied, " you will never get me to acknowledge 
 that we are slow.'" 
 
 But singing was our forte, and the lines 
 
 " Omnibus hoc vitiuin est cantoribus inter ainicos, 
 Ut nunquam inducant animum cantare ro;yati.'" * 
 
 * This is a fault common to all singers, that amongst their friends they never are inclined to sing when they 
 are asked. Smart's Translation q/ " Horace." 
 
OLD HATLEYBURY. 151 
 
 had no sort of application at College when I was there, for a 
 President had to be appointed at each wine-party, to call upon the 
 guests in turn, and prevent all singing, or rather shouting, together. 
 Our rooms were small, but the numbers who wished to join in the 
 singing were very great, so the College carpenter was called in, with 
 the consent of the professors, to make narrow tables, after the 
 pattern of Evans's, the fashionable music-hall of those days. But 
 even this scheme would not admit every candidate for musical 
 honours, and one stout fellow, who was left in the cold outside, 
 would not hesitate to kick in a lower panel of the door, thrust in his 
 head with half his body, and, whilst on all-fours, join vociferously in 
 the chorus, which of course was intermingled with uproarious 
 laughter at the undignified position of the enthusiast. 
 
 When the party ended, as almost everyone rejoiced in the name 
 of Mac something or other, or hailed from Scotland, the culminating 
 "Auld Lang Syne," put every other chorus completely in the shade; 
 for a dozen sons of Anak would raise their legs upon the table, and 
 swing their arms on high in a manner almost fearful to behold. 
 But I could generally hold my own, and make my voice heard above 
 the rest, even in this triumphant song, and though I hailed from 
 England. 
 
 My father came and stayed one night at Haileybury. I giving up 
 my room to him, advising at the same time that he should " sport 
 his oak ;" but this he refused to do, being a man of metal. He told 
 me afterwards how much amusement he derived from a stream of 
 tradesmen dropping in, hoping to see me, and get an order for almost 
 any mortal thing of luxury which could be named ; clothes, cigars, 
 scent, anything which was not really wanted ; but their surprise was 
 quite exhilarating to behold, when, instead of finding me at home, 
 they saw a grave and reverend senior, sitting up in bed reading with 
 the aid of spectacles. 
 
 Subsequently, when we went round the place, and my father saw 
 carts, traps, and other vehicles waiting at the gates to carry us ofif 
 to billiards, the boats, Rye House, and other places of amusement ; 
 
151 OLD HAILEYBURY. 
 
 and when he saw cups full of cooling and refreshing drinks being 
 handed round to the students, reclining on chairs specially made for 
 ease and comfort, and for holding the wine-cup and fragrant weed; 
 forgetting for a moment his priestly office, he exclaimed, " By 
 Jupiter ! you fellows are acquiring such luxurious habits here, that 
 it is lucky you are going to India, where you can shake the Pagoda- 
 tree." 
 
 It was always a matter of some surprise to me that our Professors, 
 with Canon Melvill, the Golden lecturer at their head, winked at 
 our revels ; but perhaps with prophetic eyes they foresaw the Mutiny 
 with all its attendant horrors, and said amongst themselves, " Let 
 these poor fellows be merry whilst they can, for even the Aztecs 
 allowed every indulgence to their victims." And the Directors, 
 when they came down in state to see how we were getting on, and 
 we pledged them the wine cup from our windows, also probably 
 interpreted our joyous shouts as 
 
 '' Morituri te salutant." 
 
 And afte rail, the Professors and Directors, supposing my theory 
 is correct, were not far out in their reasons for indulgence, as a 
 large majority of that joyous throng have gone to their long home, 
 and found a last resting place in India, where 
 
 " Daily the tides of life, go ebbing and flowing around them, 
 Thousands of throbbing hearts, where theirs are at rest and for ever." 
 
 / have cut this chapter on old Haileybury very short, as an elaborate Memoir of the College, 
 edited by Sir Monier Williams, is being published by Messrs. Stephen Austin, of Hertford. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 HEN the "third year" came round, nearly three 
 thousand years ago, we may imagine what an eager 
 crowd of Canaanites and Jews assembled on the 
 Phoenician shore to see the ships unload their cargo 
 of ivory, apes, and peacocks* just arrived from India. 
 What yarns the sailors must have spun about the 
 wonders they had seen, and even "King Solomon, in 
 all his glory," may fairly have waxed impatient to hear the latest 
 news about those mysterious eastern regions beyond the sea. 
 
 But since the introduction of the great civilizer— steam, the voyage 
 to India has so often been described, that I have heard not a few 
 declare there is no room for further writing on the subject. As well 
 may it be said that the alphabet has been exhausted, and there is no 
 material to form new words, or that the notes of music have already 
 supplied every possible change of tune ; but a facile pen to describe 
 
 * Since writing the above, it occurs to me that I am out of my depth, for I have no idea where Tarshish is, 
 or was, and ahhough I was among the first to go down the Suez Canal in a steam launch, I forgot it was not 
 open in Solomon's time, and should doubt ships doubling the Cape for the sake of "a whole wilderness of 
 monkeys." Still the servants of Hiram must have gone to India for peacocks, although my old friend Bewick 
 says they are common in many parts of Africa. 
 
 I should perhaps have hesitated to betray my ignorance here had not my neighbour. Colonel Barrow, a 
 member of the Royal Geographical Society, told me that he can throw no light on the Tarshish question. 
 
156 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 the journey in a pleasant novel manner is certainly required, and 
 doubting my capacity in this respect, I will take my readers lightly 
 by the hand ; especially as I concur with a great authority in 
 humble life, that the true art of writing consists, not in wearying by 
 prolixity, but in generating a wish for more when the story's ended. 
 
 I stepped on board the P. and O. steamer at Southampton with 
 considerable satisfaction ; feeling that now I had fairly started, and 
 was about to see something of the world. Every step I took 
 showed something new, and the joyous sound of " Cheery-man, ho ! 
 heigho ! good gin and brandy, heigho ! " with fiddle accompani- 
 ment, as the sailors weighed anchor, will never be forgotten. But 
 my exultation cooled down considerably in the Bay of Biscay, where 
 the sea was running mountains high, although the officers declared 
 to me, as their old representatives did to Robinson Crusoe, that it 
 was merely a capfull of wind. 
 
 For several days our good ship was tossed about upon the ocean, 
 and I was almost wishing myself back again safe in England, when 
 I fell into a soothing slumber, and slept until the lullaby of the 
 storm had ceased. Then I awoke, and as the ship was no longer 
 rolling, I thought it must be settling down into the depths of the 
 sea, and that I should soon be introduced to the mermaids ; so I 
 sprung from my berth, and looked out of the window. 
 
 What a splendid sight met my delighted eyes ! The steward, 
 who had just come in with coffee, told me we had arrived at 
 Gibraltar ; there was the Rock above, and there were boats actually 
 laden with pomegranates, oranges, and grapes, in the clear blue sea 
 below. How on earth I got into my clothes, in my impatience to 
 be off, goodness only knows. But when I did get in them I 
 rushed on deck, and with an ardour which could only have been 
 equalled by Mr. Pickwick, I started off to pay a visit to my poor 
 relations — the Barbary apes, which ever since I could articulate 
 I had heard resided there. That certainly was a joyous day ; I 
 was actually " abroad," and I thought as I strutted about how 
 everyone I met must wish to stand in those shoes of mine, and 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 '57 
 
 pose, like me, as a true-born Englishman — the incarnation of every 
 virtue. As for the Moors, poor devils, what did they know about 
 the theoretical short legs of syphons, and the heliocentric place of 
 a heavenly body ? whilst I had it all by heart. Indeed, by the time 
 I reached India, as my feeling of self-importance seemed to grow 
 at each succeeding port, I probably should have shared the fate of 
 iEsop's inflated frog had not sinister rumours reached our ears that 
 " Jack " Sepoy was beginning to regard himself as equal to his 
 master, and didn't intend submitting to our alleged superiority 
 any longer. 
 
 On arriving at Calcutta I was met by the Chief Justice, Sir 
 Arthur Buller, who was an old friend of my people at home, and he 
 took me to his house for dinner. We dined alone, and on the table 
 lay an axe of antiquated shape, such as King Richard may have 
 used in his attack on Frond-de-Bceuf, though not so ponderous of 
 course. I took it for a badge of office ; but presently Sir Arthur 
 started up, and seizing it, administered many furious blows in the 
 corner of the room, I sitting all the time under the impression that 
 much learning had made him mad. But 
 presently the mystery was solved, for Sir 
 Arthur cried out triumphantly that he had 
 killed one of the numerous musk-rats 
 which, much to his annoyance, had taken 
 up their quarters and held their nightly 
 revels there. 
 
 There was a little green parrakeet 
 examining a water-pipe leading from the 
 roof outside the window. " Oh look, Sir 
 Arthur! " I exclaimed, "there's your parrot 
 got out of its cage ; how will you catch it 
 again?" But he laughed and said, "My 
 parrot ! that's not my parrot, its a wild 
 one; and the rascals, in company with 
 monkeys, infest my garden and do much indian parrakeet. 
 
158 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 damage to my peas, although I keep a boy whose sole occupation is 
 to frighten them away." 
 
 "But only fancy, peas at Christmas ! " 
 
 "Ah! that's all very well," my host exclaimed, "you must curb 
 your ecstasy, for the days are coming when you will long for the 
 cool green fields and pleasant pastures of old England." 
 
 But after all the years of preparation, all the hours passed with 
 the Latin grammar, wet with tears, lying on my desk before me, and 
 all my songs at College, I was now to be put in harness, and begin 
 some really useful study which would enable me to communicate 
 with the natives over whom I had been called to rule. To this 
 end the Government sent me off to Patna, four hundred miles up 
 country, and as that was before the railroad days, I went by steamer 
 up the Ganges. 
 
 That certainly was a delightful, never-to-be-forgotten voyage ; and 
 eagerly I sprang on shore each evening when the anchor dropped 
 to make acquaintance with the strange forms of life and vegetation 
 which thronged the banks. The old gardener at Daylesford House 
 would show me with much pride tuberoses, which he managed to 
 keep alive, although the thermometer marked ten degrees of frost, 
 and then he would point to a wretched india-rubber plant stuck in 
 an earthen pot. But here were tuberose trees covered with fragrant 
 blossoms in every garden on New Year's day, and gigantic india- 
 rubber trees with monkeys — real monkeys, not stuffed with straw, 
 as I had previously seen them in museums — peeping among the 
 branches, whilst parrakeets and other gaily-plumaged birds were 
 flying overhead. Nor was my enjoyment much disturbed by sinister 
 rumours which came to hand about the disaffection of the Sepoys. 
 
 After a ten days' journey up the Ganges I duly arrived at Patna, 
 where at that time Mr. William Tayler was the Pro-Consul or 
 Commissioner, holding authority over the city containing 150,000 
 inhabitants and a large tract of thickly populated and highly fertile 
 country, which in size may be compared to the whole of Ireland. 
 
 Shortly after my arrival, as the mutiny was assuming a serious 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY, 159 
 
 aspect, Mr. Tayler called a Council of the European residents 
 around, and told them in effect that as he dissented from the 
 conciliatory pat-them-on-the-back policy which appeared to be 
 emanating from Calcutta, he proposed, with our concurrence, to 
 adopt a vigorous policy such as, in his opinion, was best suited to 
 the times and the fanatical nature of the inhabitants of Patna. But 
 he reckoned without his host — the host being the Supreme Govern- 
 ment at Calcutta — and the commencement of his downfall may 
 be dated from that vigorous address, which we, the " Ot iroWoi,'' 
 applauded to the echo. 
 
 Of course, as we were a mere handful of Europeans, a vigorous 
 policy could not make a very effective show. But the Commissioner 
 determined to make it as effective as he could. We collected our 
 force, such as it was, and armed cap a pie, rode through the city 
 each evening, and did everything we could to show the natives that 
 we were a desperate set of fellows, who were not to be attacked 
 without great peril to themselves. Other vigorous steps we took, of 
 course, but it would be tedious to recount them here, and I may 
 refer those who are curious on the subject to Malleson's " Histor}^ of 
 the Mutiny." 
 
 It must not, however, be supposed that I am attempting here to 
 edge myself into the rank of my companions of those days : Ross 
 Mangles, V.C., W. McDonnell, V.C., Col. Rattray, C.B., Alonzo 
 Money, C.B., Wake, C.B., Colvin and Boyle, C.S.I., who, when 
 opportunity occurred, proved themselves heroes. All I pretend to 
 say is, that under Mr. Tayler's orders, we one and all, showed a bold 
 front, doing our best to pose before the natives as a band of 
 desperate men ; and, so far as I can judge, this policy averted 
 danger in my case, and prevented my showing whether I was a man 
 of war or not. 
 
 All that time, when the state of the country would admit of letters 
 passing, I was in correspondence with my Marlborough brother, 
 who was A.D.C. to Sir Sydney Cotton, at Peshawur. He had been 
 enjoying very lively times up there. But he thought we were lucky 
 
i6o PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 fellows in serving under such go-a-head men as Cotton, and my 
 " master — Tayler." He said the surrounding hills up there had 
 been lined with armed Afghans, who held aloof, watching the 
 course of events, before deciding which side to take. But when 
 they saw the English vigorous policy, they came in by thousands, 
 for Nicholson to enlist, and send off to fight for us at Delhi. 
 
 I found the volatility, of which my masters complained at school, 
 stood me in good stead at Patna, for, notwithstanding the storm 
 which was going on around, I had arrived at the happiest epoch of 
 my life, with companions fully as joyous and light-hearted as myself. 
 
 Another of my companions, whose name calls up many pleasant 
 recollections, was Frank Vincent, the magistrate of Barh, an out- 
 lying station, thirty miles from Patna. Ross Mangles, Colvin, and 
 I, whilst the Mutiny was going on, occasionally would drop down 
 the Ganges in a boat to Barh, for duck or snipe shooting, and we 
 were sure to find a hearty welcome. I thought that Frank must 
 feel so very helpless in case of an attack, being the only Englishman 
 in the place, that I volunteered to stay and keep him company ; but 
 he took me to his stable, and exhibited a thoroughbred, whose 
 saddle was hung up handy, and he said that as his scouts would 
 give him warning if the enemy approached, he could easily ske- 
 daddle, and arrive at Patna within two hours. 
 
 Although Frank leisurely rode over to Patna to see us all, when 
 he felt a longing to talk in his mother-tongue; thanks, I believe, 
 to Mr. Tayler's vigorous policy, he never had occasion to try the 
 metal of his steed, except at the local races. 
 
 At first I lived at Patna, in a house called Rosy Bower, close to 
 the bazaar, and spent much of my time studying with a Munshi, 
 who, as regards manners, contrasted very pleasantly with most of 
 my Marlborough masters. For he would 
 
 " . . . bend his body, 
 If I did carelessly but nod at him." 
 
 And whilst at school, my Preceptors would shout out wildly. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. i6i 
 
 "Wrong, of course," even before they heard what I had to say. He 
 was almost too poHte, and would declare that everything must 
 necessarily be right, because I said it. He knew a little English, 
 chiefly slang, picked up goodness only knows from whom, but 
 certainly not from me, and he would bring it out so innocently and 
 politely as he bowed and rubbed his hands together, thinking all the 
 time he was " quite Parisian," that I should not have begrudged the 
 small salary he enjoyed, had it been merely in payment for his 
 English. 
 
 " What salary did you get at your last place, Munshi ? " 
 
 " Sir, that was too less ! " 
 
 " But my friends think I shall not pass my examination so soon 
 as you say I shall!" 
 
 " Dear Sir, that is all Betty and Martin in my eye." 
 
 " I hope it is, but sit down. How is it your patent leather shoes 
 are not so bright as usual ? " 
 
 " There are many dirts and muds about, my darling Sir ! " 
 
 But these elegant extracts made me think how ridiculous in my 
 turn I must make m3'self, when I addressed my tutor in broken 
 Hindustani and Bengali. So I made a compact with him, to which 
 he heartily agreed ; that I might laugh as much as I liked at his 
 mistakes, but if he wished to make merry over mine, he would do so 
 at his peril. 
 
 This arbitrary compact, unjust and cruel though it perhaps may 
 seem, so far as I could learn was no great hardship, for my tutor 
 never seemed inclined to move a muscle of his face at awful blunders 
 which assuredly would have made a vacant mind explode with 
 laughter. But when he thought I meant to perpetrate a joke, the 
 case was different ; for then he would crack his fingers, wriggle in his 
 chair, and laugh out loud, exclaiming, "Too good! too good! aha!" 
 
 In a short time he got me through the examination, which, 
 considering the Mutiny going on around, was not perhaps quite so 
 stiff as otherwise it would have been. But my tutor received the 
 news of my success with qualified delight. We had passed many 
 
 M 
 
1 62 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 really pleasant hours together, and as he never laughed at my awful 
 blunders, he had never excited my anger or resentment ; so when 
 I paid him off, he bowed and said, " Dear Sir ! your friendship 
 reminds me of the ivy and the oak." 
 
 After leaving Patna, I corresponded with this amusing man, for 
 whom somehow I had conceived a real regard, until his death, 
 which occurred some years after. He always declared that we 
 should meet again ; I hope we may, and I am sure I should not feel 
 ashamed to dress up, as the soldiers say, by the side of my old 
 Munshi, at the great assize. 
 
 I have often heard it said that there can be no real friendship 
 between the natives of India and Europeans. But I never took in 
 this doctrine. I am sure I felt very great regard for many of the 
 native gentlemen with whom I was brought in contact. Indeed I 
 can't imagine more genuine friendship than exists between me and 
 my old head clerk. Baboo Troilokonath Lahari, a Kulin, or high- 
 caste Brahmin, with whom I have corresponded ever since I left 
 India, nearly fifteen years ago.* 
 
 I was asleep in Rosy Bower alone one night, when an Engineer 
 galloping up to the door, suddenly awoke me by shouting out, " Get 
 up for the town is up, and come to the Commissioner's house, where 
 all the Europeans are rallying, and expecting an attack from three 
 regiments of Sepoys who have mutinied at Dinapoor some eight miles 
 distant." I needed no second bidding, particularly as there was a 
 beam above my head, which would have made a most convenient 
 place for the enemy to string me on, and as my friend galloped off 
 to rouse some others, I made my way to the Commissioner's house, 
 where I found all the Europeans had assembled, fully armed and 
 mustering fairly strong. It was arranged that we should go on the 
 flat roof of the house, in case the Mutineers attacked us, as we could 
 conveniently fire down upon them from there. 
 
 * Nor must I forget my esteemed friend, Baboo Ughore Chunder Mokerjee, late head-master of the Monghyr 
 School, from whom, as I write, a long letter has arrived. Speaking of his son, who is now a Magistrate, he 
 says : " Do you remember when this fellow, in a fit of pique ran away from home, and I emplored your assis- 
 tance to find him. You, by way of consolation, replied in words which will always dwell on my memory, 
 ' No fear, but he will come back fast enough when he is hungry.' " 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 163 
 
 Fifty-eight years had passed since my maternal grand- 
 father, then Judge of Benares, armed only with a spear,* 1 
 standing at the top of a winding staircase, defended I 
 himself and family against two hundred armed men, 
 headed by Vizier Ali, the deposed King of Oude, and for 
 many years after, in the Sacred City, it became a proverb 
 that no one should despair; since the Judge Sahib, single 
 handed, kept a host of armed men, headed by a Prince, at 
 bay. 
 
 So my thoughts naturally turned to him, and I selected 
 a spear of similar shape from the Commissioner's museum, 
 and put it handy in case it should be needed. We had 
 sent out scouts, and as they would give us ample warning, 
 we collected the assembled Europeans, male and female, 
 and chosing sides, passed that lovely moon-lit night, 
 playing the suitable game of Hi-spy-hi — for most Euro- 
 peans in India are at the proper age for games — among 
 the orange, pomegranate, and fragrant citron trees which 
 thronged the garden. Indeed, we spent a very happy 
 time, full of joy and mirth. "For they laugh at scars who 
 never felt a wound." 
 
 Towards morning, as we were thinking the Sepoys would 
 have arrived had they intended coming, and that ours 
 had perhaps been merely idle fears, some one suddenly 
 cried out, " Hark ! I hear the Sepoys coming," and sure 
 enough, we listened to a steady tramp, tramp, tramp. 
 We rushed towards the house, and I nearly fell into the 
 arms of Colonel Rattray at the head of five hundred 
 friendly Sikhs, who had been marching day and night to 
 our assistance. I thought I had never seen such a gallant 
 
 * For further particulars of this extraordinary defence, see " Elphinston's History of India." " The Massacre 
 of Benares," " The Story of a Spear" in Frazer. The Spear, of which a representation is given above is about six 
 feet long with three sharp edges. It is preserved as an heir-loom at Hollywood Tower, Gloucestershire. 
 When I was at Benares, I paid a visit to the house, which I believe is still standing, and is, more or less a 
 show place. My Patna Spear is now in the South Kensington Museum, with the rest of Mr. TayJer's 
 collection, 
 
 M2 
 
 
1 64 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 sight before. Nearly every man stood over six feet high, and their 
 gallant commander over-topped them all. 
 
 Then all felt safe, and I took Colonel Rattray to a room to wash 
 off the dust which covered him, stepping over the sleeping forms of 
 women and children collected there upon the floor, and when I 
 asked his opinion of the general position of affairs, he briefly said 
 as I was unbuckling his sword and the revolver round his waist. 
 
 " Very fishy ! Very fishy ! but I think my Sikhs will stand ! " 
 
 This answer made a considerable impression on me at the time, 
 for although I heard the cannons playing on the retreating Sepoys 
 at Dinapoor, I had only hitherto been in company with civilians. 
 But when a soldier at the head of such a splendid regiment, thought 
 things looked " very fishy," I began to realize some sense of 
 danger. 
 
 Whenever I recall the Indian Mutiny, the tall forms of Colonel 
 Rattray and Alonzo Money start up conspicuously before me, for 
 wherever danger was greatest and fire hottest they were certain to 
 be seen giving their orders, coolly as though on parade ; and they 
 both possessed the qualification so necessary to a leader, that with 
 them in front, their followers entertained no doubt that they were 
 being led on to victory. 
 
 The Commissioner would not let me return to Rosy Bower, so I 
 had a charpoy bedstead put in his verandah, where for several 
 months I slept at night with a revolver under my pillow and my 
 gun lying on the floor close by. I heard the latest news when I 
 awoke each morning, as the Commissioner came into the verandah 
 and told me everything he knew. He also told me all his plans, and 
 I admired very much the confidence he had from the beginning that 
 we should get on all right, and that he would be able to keep the 
 City of Patna quiet. 
 
 One morning an Orderly rode up with the news that Major 
 Holmes had been murdered by his men at one of our outlying 
 stations ; and truly there was no lack, most days, of news which 
 was qualified to make one's hair come out of curl in times of peace. 
 
SIKH SOLDIER. 
 
 (Admi ha Shaitan admi hai). 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 167 
 
 But we soon got used to it, and took good or bad news just as it 
 came. 
 
 The calm confidence felt by the Commissioner communicated 
 itself to all the others, and with Tayler and Rattray at the head 
 of affairs, I felt comfortable enough, and didn't trouble myself much 
 about the Mutiny which was going on around. 
 
 One morning, soon after the Sikhs arrived, the Commissioner 
 came and told me that from certain information he had received, he 
 thought it very probable the Wahabees, a fanatical sect of Moslems 
 in the city, would give us trouble and raise the flag of insurrection. 
 So in order to keep them quiet he intended making their head men 
 leave, for the present, their houses in the city, and take up their 
 abode near us, where they would be out of temptation to do us 
 mischief, with the Sikhs to watch them. They also would act as 
 hostages for the good behaviour of their crew. 
 
 The arguments used for this proceeding appeared to me so good 
 that I heartily concurred, and next day, when the Wahabee Chiefs 
 arrived by invitation, I received them and bowed them, with all due 
 ceremony into the large room in which we used to dine. 
 
 Five or six other Europeans were also present, and after a few 
 unimportant observations about the weather and the crops, at a 
 given signal Colonel Rattray and some Sikhs marched in, and then 
 we informed the Wahabees of our plan for keeping them out of 
 mischief and beyond the reach of calumny, which, so far as I could 
 see, afforded them unqualified delight. 
 
 An old fellow who sat next to me was the only one who appeared 
 uneasy, for he looked at me slyly through the corners of his eyes 
 as though he could not clearly understand our little game ; but 
 I calmed his fears, and said, " Your Reverence, in your new abode 
 — which, by the way, is much cleaner, larger, and more comfortable 
 than your own — you will enjoy peace with honour whilst these 
 troubled times remain ; and you can tell your beads and study the 
 Koran at leisure." 
 
 Running my eye over the list of persons present at that historic 
 
i68 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 gathering I find I am the sole survivor, and have to bear the brunt 
 of the charge subsequently brought against us, that this nolens, volens 
 change of the Wahabees' residence, without any " with your leave," 
 or "by your leave," was an act of treachery on our part. 
 
 In the insurrection of 1799 at Benares, where, as I have shewn, 
 my grandfather took such a conspicuous part, he was subsequently 
 directed to capture certain Mohammedan nobles known to be con- 
 cerned in the insurrection, and the historian of that affair records 
 that " Anything like an attempt to allure them into our power by 
 civil invitations was justly spurned, as success itself only renders 
 such treacherous measures, however consonant with Asiatic practice, 
 the more disgraceful." 
 
 Men with such sentiments as these enable a handful of English- 
 men to hold India. And no wonder when in after years my 
 grandmother received five volumes of Despatches, the following 
 autograph inscription appeared on the fly-leaf: — 
 
 " A testimony of sincere respect and regard, and also a memorial 
 of attachment, founded on long intimacy, to the honourable and 
 virtuous memory of your deceased husband, from her faithful friend 
 and servant, 
 
 " Wellesley." 
 
 It was accordingly determined at Benares, to plan the seizure of 
 all the Mohammedan nobles by surprise, at the same hour, lest the 
 proceedings against one might alarm and enable the others to 
 escape. 
 
 This plan was adopted, and it ended in the nobles being killed, 
 but not before they had killed and wounded several of the force sent 
 against them. 
 
 And now for the Patna aifair : 
 
 Without attempting to shield myself behind the proverbs, "All's 
 fair in love and war," and "Necessity knows no law," or pointing to 
 such precedents as leading the enemy into an ambuscade, masked 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 169 
 
 batteries, or catching mice in traps, or robins under a sieve, there 
 appears to me a vast difference between inviting a man to my house, 
 in order to kill him when he gets there; and inviting him, in order 
 that his followers shall not kill me, so long as I keep him handy. 
 
 Or, to give an illustration which will be familiar to all. It was 
 surely an act of foul treachery on the part of Jael,* wife of Heber 
 the Kenite, to slay Sisera as she did. But, fearing injury from his 
 host, supposing she had enticed the captain into her tent, and kept 
 him in honourable confinement there, enjoying his milk and butter, 
 until all danger had passed away, who could have blamed her ? 
 
 Of course, Colonel Rattray and his Sikhs could easily have surprised 
 and captured the Wahabees at their residence in the heart of the 
 city, but a display of this kind was the very thing we wished to 
 avoid, as there was nothing definite against them then, save that 
 they were the chiefs 
 
 "Of that saintly murderous brood 
 To carnage and the Koran given. 
 Who think through unbelievers' blood 
 Lies their directest path to heaven." 
 
 If this apology cannot be accepted according to the strict rules of 
 morality, all I can say is that circumstances alter cases, as the 
 following will show : — 
 
 When my Marlborough brother commanded the 20th Hussars, 
 he sent for his head sergeant, who was a pattern of morality and a 
 shining light in every way, and asked him " what sort of fellow is 
 Trooper Jones ? " 
 
 " He's a very queer sort of a man ! " 
 
 " I hear he intends shooting me at the butts this morning." 
 
 " Well, if that is the case," coolly replied the sergeant, " the best 
 way will be to keep an eye on him, and not show any signs of fear." 
 
 * Deborah, the prophetess, who appears to have judged Israel at that time, goes into raptures over this 
 cruel act of treachery, and composed a very beautiful, and poetical panegyric in praise of Jael. Pity it was 
 not in a better cause. From the little we know about this lady, it is evident she had mistaken her profession, 
 and was more fitted to climb Parnassus, than to sit upon the bench 
 
170 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 "But, stop, you have not heard me out ; he sa^ys if he misses me, 
 he intends to shoot you." 
 
 " Then, I trust you will at once put him under arrest, Colonel ! " 
 almost roared the sergeant. 
 
 Could volumes say more ? 
 
 The Wahabees had no lack of entertainment, for as their new 
 abode was close to where Ross Mangles lived with me, we turned 
 the surrounding space into a recreation ground, where we challenged 
 the Sikhs to cope with us in feats of agility and strength. 
 
 As I had won " the hundred yards " at College, and lately the 
 jumping prize at the Calcutta races, the Sikhs had very little chance 
 so far; but in feats of strength — particularly where peculiar skill was 
 wanted — we found it hard work to hold our own. 
 
 The second in command of the grand Sikh Corps, who bore the 
 euphonious name of Hidayat Ali, or the Guide to Heaven, took 
 much interest in our games, and we made great friends with him, 
 for he was a rare specimen of an Oriental soldier ; his physique 
 was splendid, and the sight of him, with his sharp drawn sword, 
 running at the head of the Sikhs by the side of Colonel Rattray, 
 was one which the enemy never cared to stay very long to contem- 
 plate ; and it was fortunate for us that he cast his lot with us. 
 
 The last time I saw my friend Hidayat Ali, some years after, he 
 had grown very stout ; his breast was covered with decorations, 
 and he was sitting fast asleep in one of the front seats at Govern- 
 ment House in Calcutta, whilst a Concert was going on around; 
 but when he awoke he recognised me, and we talked over happy 
 Patna days. 
 
 The Wahabees used to sit in the verandah of their house telling 
 their beads, and viewing what doubtless they called our antics 
 unworthy of sober men. But it was quite impossible to judge from 
 their Fagin-like faces, in which low cunning was mingled with 
 ferocity, whether they were pleased or not, for they never laughed 
 or even smiled at incidents which ordinary mortals would consider 
 highly entertaining. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 171 
 
 I often longed to know their thoughts, though they might be far 
 from flattering to myself; but this I may fairly say, that whether they 
 liked their changed abode or not, it would have been far better had 
 they stayed there always ; for some years after they had to change 
 their residence, as convicts beyond the sea, to a far less delightful 
 place than Patna. 
 
 The rural population of the district, so far as I could judge, took 
 no share in the mutinous spirit of the Sepoys, and they gave us 
 hardly any trouble. I was much impressed with this fact later on, 
 when I was sent for two days' journey up the river Gunduc, in order 
 to move all the boats I found from one side of the river to the other, 
 and prevent certain native regiments crossing. On starting, my 
 chief presented me with a copy of " Vanity Fair,'" which I had not 
 read before, and he told me to keep a sharp look out for mutineers. 
 But I soon found that it was best not to trouble my head about the 
 enemy, and so I lay very snug inside the boat reading my book, and 
 taking a stroll only in the evening. 
 
 I always found the villagers most polite and humble, and none of 
 them offered to molest me though I was quite alone. 
 
 In frigid England, the pastime of swimming gives more pain than 
 pleasure so far as my experience goes, but during my Indian career 
 I passed a considerable portion of my time in water, and every 
 station is careless of expense in erecting a commodious bathing 
 place, where a really happy hour may be passed at morning, noon, 
 or night. Directly the sun had risen, giving light to Patna, we all 
 assembled at the bath, the temperature of which I tested and found 
 to be rather higher, in its normal state, than what is called a hot 
 bath in England. But as the outside air marked an average of 
 eighty degrees, it appeared quite cool to persons swimming in it. 
 
 When I was acting as Civil and Sessions Judge of Tipperah, there 
 was a piece of water with a circumference of half-a-mile at the 
 bottom of my garden, and the Magistrate and I almost every day at 
 sunrise having adjusted a slightly buoyant apparatus, and an 
 umbrella to shade our eyes, would lie upon our backs on the surface 
 
172 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 of the lake, and allow the breeze to take us where it liked. The 
 Jacanas* which abounded there, and lived among the water-lilies, 
 resented our intrusion with shrill cries, and kites and vultures 
 circling overhead would turn their eyes towards the unusual sight 
 which we presented. The fish of course would fly at our approach, 
 but there were turtles and snakes which greeted us with a passing 
 stare, but we did not care for them, as strange to say, although the 
 sea-snakes are very deadly, the fresh water snakes of India possess 
 no poison fangs. I often was reminded of a song I sang at Hailey- 
 bury, and would chant it out as I floated contentedly along : 
 
 " Strange birds about us sweep. 
 Strange things come up to look at us, 
 The monsters of the deep." 
 
 I often longed to hold my Court out there, and went so far as to 
 broach the subject to my clerks, who cordially approved, and on very 
 sultry days, when the thermometer marked over ioo° in the verandah, 
 they would "jog my memory" as they called it, and ask when I 
 proposed an adjournment to the bath. But public opinion, and 
 objections which the High Court at Calcutta probably would have 
 made, compelled me to adjourn ^ine die this novel and refreshing 
 scheme. 
 
 The time I spent at Patna during the Mutiny, was the most joyous 
 period of my life. Hitherto examinations had been a constant 
 incubus, but although there were still such things impending, both 
 in languages and law, I had gained experience, and learnt how to 
 manage them without much difficulty ; and, as regards the stick, my 
 tutors stood most in fear of that. My companions also formed a 
 very joyous band, and if we looked serious when bad news arrived 
 
 * Jerdon places the Jacanas among the Coots and Moorhens. Blythe at one time was inclined to group 
 them with the Plovers. On several occasions when I have stood near a flock of Peewits calling on the ground 
 (not flying), in one of my low-lying meadows, I could, by shutting my eyes, fancy myself back in my house at 
 'I'ipperah, with the Jacanas calling, and I believe this similarity of voice in the two birds has not previously 
 been noticed. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 175 
 
 from Cawnpoor, Lucknow or Delhi, we soon were bright again, for 
 we reahzed no danger to ourselves ; putting the utmost faith in 
 Tayler, Col. Rattray and his Sikhs. 
 
 We had a Mess, and persons of all denominations joined it, but it 
 was chiefly composed of officers and members of the Civil Service. 
 I managed it with fair success, but it was difficult to please every 
 candidate for food. I told my native clerk to paste complaints into 
 a book, which I have by me now ; and those which appeared worthy 
 of comment, or amusing, my clerk read out in a very solemn 
 manner, and with well-rounded periods, in lieu of sherry and bitters, 
 when we all assembled for dinner in the evening. I select the 
 following specimen, which certainly prima facie appears to militate 
 against my alleged fair management. But the writer, who was 
 much addicted to pig-sticking, riding races, and irregular hours, was 
 prone to see a mountain in a mole-hill : 
 
 " Dear Lockwood, 
 
 "The Khansaman (native butler,) declines to give me any 
 breakfast. At six this morning he sent me what he called a ' beefy- 
 steak cut from a pampered ox,' but not wanting food at that unearthly 
 hour, I told my fellow to take it back. He also sent me some beastly 
 toast. Now I do want breakfast at a reasonable hour, he says, acting 
 under your orders, I must pay for two breakfasts. I haven't had one 
 yet ! Is this the boasted English jurisprudence you civilians talk so 
 much about } These servants of yours are most exasperating fellows, 
 for they give me nothing, though they keep on charging me as though I 
 had everything I want." 
 
 At the Mess, every evening, all kinds of projects were started for 
 amusement. Hunting, shooting, athletics, and occasionally we 
 would have a dance — sthe Lancers being most affected — in which 
 all were obliged to join. We wore no coats, but Garibaldi jackets 
 of gaudy colours, and leather belts, in which our revolvers, hardly 
 ever laid aside, were stuck, and high untanned leather boots, of 
 
176 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 native make. These in time were wont to draggle down, giving us 
 the appearance of ruffians on the stage. 
 
 Every one was obhged to do what, I beHeve, are called the steps, 
 and when the fiddle struck up and we all went round, old and young 
 together, those who smoked being armed with churchwarden pipes, 
 which someone had procured somehow, the effect was so very 
 comical, and we looked such awful idiots, that I could hardly stand 
 up for laughing. Mr. Judge Woodcock, who had been nearly a third 
 of a century in the Civil Service, and who was a great favourite with 
 us all, would try and excuse himself, on the plea of being too old and 
 stout, but his grave face as he hopped round, was far too good to be 
 lost without a struggle, so three or four of us would take him by the 
 arms and compel him to join in the dance, which I feel confident he 
 enjoyed as much as the youngest there. 
 
 Sometimes we would hunt the sacred bulls, which roamed about 
 at pleasure, filching the farmers' crops, and as we galloped along- 
 side, we seized their tails and tried to throw them over ; and, once, 
 when some British soldiers were camping near, we ran one in among 
 them ; but they, thinking it was mad, turned out and shot it, the 
 butcher of the party cutting it up for meat. 
 
 Ross Mangles and I, however, as guardians of the peace, in no 
 measured terms declaimed against this impious act, and all received 
 our censure in good part, except the smallest of the troop, who, 
 never having heard of sacred bulls before, failed to appreciate the 
 warmth with which we spoke, so, stepping out, he said, " You 
 gentlemen seem to be speaking very disrespectful to the British 
 soldier." But the comical bantam-cock-like way in which he spoke, 
 caused such a burst of laughter that he was obliged to retire in 
 confusion, whilst his comrades, wishing to make peace, cordially 
 invited us each to take a sirloin. 
 
 Our dress whilst the Mutiny was going on around, was most 
 peculiar, but we thought it picturesque ; for when an itinerant 
 native pedler exposed his wares to view, he was sure to have some 
 fancy gaudy stuff, which almost required a pair of green spectacles 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 177 
 
 to examine. ** I must have a coat of that ! " one of us was pretty 
 sure to cry. " And I ! " " and I ! " added the others standing by ; 
 " and cap and trousers too." The native tailor, who always forms 
 one of the numerous attending suite of slaveys in the East, was 
 then called in, and next morning we appeared in all the colours of 
 the rainbow, much to our own delight and the admiration of the 
 natives. Colonel Mundy, in command of the 19th Regiment 
 at Dinapoor, and who spent a good deal of his time with us, 
 appeared one day in a crimson flannel suit, which made him appear 
 on fire in the distance. 
 
 I passed a good deal of my time in company with Colonel 
 Mundy, who in those days had an almost world-wide reputation for 
 his skill at billiards and as a teller of queer stories ; but whether 
 these stories were strictly true or not I don't pretend to say. If 
 I remember right, the following was one of them : — 
 
 He was shipwrecked. How or where ? I quite forget ; but he 
 managed to get on a plank or raft, and there for several days was 
 tossed about upon the sea which was running mountains high. 
 A ship approached and hailed him, but in consequence of the 
 tremendous waves it was quite impossible to save him, so the ship 
 flew on and left him to his fate. 
 
 Ultimately he must have got to land somehow, though I quite 
 forget the tale just there, for subsequently I saw him alive and well, 
 and he was also able to be present at a fashionable house in 
 London, where, after dinner, a naval captain was telling a terrible 
 story of the sea, which had come under his own experience. 
 During a dreadful storm he had passed a shipwrecked wretch sitting 
 on a plank, the sport of wind and waves. 
 
 His hearers, who had held their breath in horror at the tale, gave 
 a deep sigh in unison of sorrow when it ended, and we may judge 
 of their astonishment when one of the party expressed a longing 
 wish to know who the poor man could possibly have been, Colonel 
 Mundy, with much sang froid exclaimed, as he tapped his chest, 
 
 *' Here you see him ; I am the very man ! " and turning to the 
 
 N 
 
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 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY, 
 
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 with a speaking-trumpet in your hand ; directly you entered the 
 room I recognised your features. Have a good look at me, and I 
 am sure you will remember mine." 
 
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 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 HAVE spoken of the country under Mr. Commis- 
 sioner Tayler's rule, as bearing comparison in size to 
 the whole of Ireland, This was divided into several 
 districts, in each of which there was a Magistrate, 
 half-a-dozen other officials, besides a few European 
 traders, and Indigo planters, scattered all over the 
 country. There were native policemen, but no soldiers 
 in these districts, the only military station being at Dinapoor, on 
 the river Ganges, eight miles from Patna. 
 
 The three regiments of Sepoj^s which made us assemble in such 
 hot haste at the Commissioner's house after their mutiny at 
 Dinapoor, instead of coming to Patna, as everyone expected, went 
 off to the out-lying station of Arrah, where they were kept at bay 
 in the most gallant manner by my friends. Wake, Colvin, Bojde, and 
 other Europeans, who had fortified a house. We naturally thought 
 they would all be massacred, but in case they should be able to hold 
 out for a time, H.M. loth Regiment was sent to their relief, and 
 Ross Mangles, Wake's cousin, who was living with me, joined the 
 force as a volunteer. I volunteered also, but the Commissioner 
 would not let me go. 
 
 N2 
 
i8o PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 Hitherto, all had gone well at Patna. With the exception of one 
 slight attack on our patroling party, when Dr. L3^ell was killed, the 
 city had made no sign of disaffection, and the Commissioner was 
 daily receiving congratulations from all parts of India regarding 
 his successful policy. Indeed some of us went so far as to address 
 Mrs. Tayler as "My Lady" in anticipation of the decoration we 
 supposed to be in store for her gallant husband. But here again we 
 were reckoning without our host. 
 
 As the general opinion was that the Sepoys would disperse 
 directly they saw our force approaching, when I said good-bye to 
 Ross Mangles, I told him if he found them still alive, to remember 
 me to all the beleaguered garrison,* especially to Colvin, who had 
 been with me in the " old boat " at Haileybury. But the following 
 day, as I was sitting in my verandah reading with my Munshi, I saw 
 a tall tramp-like figure approaching in the distance, and presently to 
 my great astonishment saw it was Ross Mangles, who briefly said, 
 " We have had an awful licking ; the loth is pretty well annihilated, 
 and I am one of the few come back to tell the tale." 
 
 Here was cause for grave reflection, but with characteristic selfish- 
 ness my thoughts reverted to myself, and I said, " I suppose we 
 shall have the victorious Sepoys down on us now ! " to which 
 Mangles said, " Very likely ! " and throwing himself on a bed which 
 was handy, he fell asleep, and as I would not allow anyone to 
 disturb him, he slept straight on end for fifteen hours. He had a 
 very rough time of it during his absence from Patna ; having walked 
 fifty miles or so, the last twenty-five under a shower of bullets. But 
 he had no reason to regret going as a volunteer, because his 
 gallantry on this occasion gained for him one of the three Victoria 
 Crosses awarded to civilians. My Munshi then retired to spread 
 the news like wild-fire through the town ; and I went to the Com- 
 missioner, whom I found had also heard of the disaster. But he, 
 as usual, seemed to take the matter very coolly, although he did not 
 
 *For a detailed account of the extraordinary defence of Arrah, see "The Coinpetition-Walla," by the 
 Right Honourable Sir George Trevelyan. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. i8i 
 
 dissent, when by way of opening the conversation, I said, " It seems 
 that we shall have hot work here presently ! " 
 
 "But, surely," I continued, "you will call in the .out-lying 
 Europeans, and not let them be massacred in detail like the Arrah 
 Garrison. Things appear now, to use Colonel Rattray's expression, 
 so ' very fishy,' that every available man should rally here, and 
 even then we should not be one hundred strong. The Sepoys 
 having nearly annihilated the loth Regiment, will consider themselves 
 invincible, and ruffians from all the country round will assemble 
 in their thousands, and swell the Sepoy ranks. Discretion is the 
 better part of valour, and even the dauntless Clive under the circum- 
 stances surely would call in his men." 
 
 But Mr. Tayler said one hope remained. Sir Vincent Eyre, with 
 one hundred and fifty Europeans and two guns, was advancing on 
 the other side from Benares to the relief of Arrah, and if he should 
 be successful all would still go well. 
 
 " But if like the loth, he is not successful, how then ?"* 
 
 I don't pretend to say that my oration had any effect whatever on 
 the Commissioner, for he was not a man to ask or take much 
 advice, and I record it merely because I am glad to accept a share 
 of the censure which my Chief subsequently incurred over this 
 affair. But I felt quite glad when he told me he was about to issue 
 orders, commanding or inviting — I forget which, but the point 
 appears immaterial — the Europeans at the outlying stations to come 
 in and rally at Patna. 
 
 But if I could have peeped ahead and seen the events which 
 occurred during the next few hours, I would joyously have com- 
 mitted an act of treachery, equal to that which I was supposed to 
 have played on the Wahabees. I would have persuaded the Com- 
 
 * A shepherd, not mine thank goodness, met me with the remark to-day, that the approaching Winter will 
 certainly be mild, and free from frost and snow. 
 
 " What makes you think that ?" 1 asked. 
 
 " What makes me think that ? Why the mouses-holes are all turned towards the North." 
 
 "Then I shalf have no occasion to bury my swedes I " 
 
 " No ! there is no call to bury no swedes when the mouses have their holes open, as I see them now." 
 
 I certainly hope this sage remark may prove correct. But as what is least expected so often comes to pass, 
 I shall cover up my swedes, in case the prophetic mice are wrong. 
 
1 82 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 missioner to entrust his orders of recall to me for delivery, and 
 then, when no one was looking, slyly flung them all into the 
 Ganges. 
 
 For the gallant Sir Vincent Eyre, with whom subsequently I 
 became intimate, advanced with his usual intrepidity and skill, 
 followed by his men, who had no intention of turning their backs 
 on the enemy ; and the mutineer host, after the cannons had played 
 upon them for a short time, dispersed like a mist before the rising 
 sun, and the heroes shut up in the Arrah house were saved. 
 
 Directly I heard of this victory, it seemed to fit in so very nicely 
 with the natural course of events, that I felt quite astonished at my 
 ever having supposed it could be otherwise. It really appeared 
 ridiculous to think that the three thousand Sepoys would stand 
 against one hundred and fifty Englishmen ; for although they had 
 shot down the loth, they must have got it pretty warm themselves ; 
 and although they had been drilled by English officers ; who was 
 going to lead them against such a veteran as Eyre ? In fact, I now 
 felt inclined to say, as Jack Spraggon said to Lord Scamperdale, 
 " There, I knew how it would all turn out ! " 
 
 Jack Spraggon was one of those clever gentlemen who knew 
 exactly what would happen, after the event occurred. 
 
 The Lieutenant-Governor and Lord Canning at Calcutta, four 
 hundred miles from Patna, when they heard of Eyre's victory and 
 the recall order synchronously, were naturally on all fours with Jack 
 Spraggon and myself — in my later illuminated state — and were 
 astonished how anyone in his senses, could have imagined that 
 things could possibly turn out otherwise than they did. In fact, 
 they could make nothing of it. At last a bright idea occurred. 
 The recall, of course, was due to panic ; and a man who could 
 perform a treacherous act and subsequently be panic-struck, was 
 clearly not fit to rule over so large a province. Consequently Mr. 
 Tayler was deposed, and Mr. Justice Samuels was sent from 
 Calcutta to reign at Patna in his stead. 
 
 But by this time our Patna crisis was over. Eyre had sent the 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 183 
 
 Dinapoor native regiments to the right-about, troops were daily 
 arriving from Europe, and consequently I placed my spear back into 
 its old place in the museum, and left off sleeping with my revolver 
 under my pillow, where I never found it comfortable. 
 
 Mr. Samuels arrived in due time, the Wahabees were brought 
 forward, and as a set-off for the slur placed upon their character, 
 they were at once invited to a conciliatory, let by-gones be by-gones 
 pic-nic, to which I as a free-lance was invited. 
 
 If those little rascals, whose tricks subsequently were brought 
 to light, had possessed any sense of the ridiculous, how they would 
 have roared with laughter at all this humbug. But when I found them 
 assembled on the steamer which was to take us on our pleasure trip 
 down the Ganges, they looked as grave in their priestly petticoats, 
 as though a joke was neither here nor there to them. 
 
 Directly I arrived however, they one and all gave me a sly look 
 through the corners of their eyes, and although they said nothing, 
 I knew very well that they meant to say, " Aha ! my fine fellow, you 
 and your Governor have had your combs pretty closely cut we guess !" 
 
 On my way to the pic-nic I met Tayler's right-hand man, a native 
 gentleman, who had given much information about the Wahabees 
 and their secret tricks. Subsequently, when these fellows were all 
 transported, he received rewards from the Government, but now he 
 was left shivering in the cold, and more or less branded with 
 disgrace. I asked him if he also had received an invitation to the 
 pic-nic, but he, in melancholy tones, which made me laugh heartily, 
 said " Alas ! dear sir, a new king has arisen here who knows not 
 Joseph." 
 
 Although the Sepoys at Arrah had been dispersed, they rallied 
 again in considerable numbers ; and this time Colonel Douglas, with 
 two guns and a suitable force, was sent to drive them out of their 
 stronghold at a place called Jugdispoor, and I joined the force as 
 assistant to Mr. Alonzo Money, who went as civil officer and 
 interpreter. His employment was chiefly in getting information 
 from the villagers as to the whereabouts of the rebels ; but whenever 
 
1 84 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 there was any fighting going on, he always took so prominent a 
 part that everyone exclaimed, " That gentleman has mistaken his 
 profession, he should have been a soldier." 
 
 I was in good company then, for Sir W. Champain,* of the 
 Engineers, and I, shared Mr. Money's tent, though I confess I was a 
 mere sleeping partner, as my scanty knowledge of the patois of the 
 place prevented my being of any real assistance to my chief. I 
 accordingly spent most of my time in shooting round about the 
 camp, and noticing anything in the shape of birds or plants which 
 seemed either curious or rare. 
 
 One day when I extended my excursion farther than usual, I saw 
 in the distance a laden cart, without either attendant man or beast ; 
 and on going up to it I found a load of cases filled with wine. I at 
 once set my seal upon it as spoils of war, and when I returned to 
 camp, I told Colonel Douglas and Alonzo Money of my claim. But 
 they said, everyone must share alike. I managed however to get 
 several bottles of champagne for my share, and although we were 
 well supplied, as civilians always are in India, those bottles had a 
 rare manna-in-the-wilderness flavour which was quite refreshing. 
 
 Soon after this, Jugdispoor was taken by the troops, and I 
 experienced the peculiar sensation of standing under fire for some 
 time. I think we burnt the place, for the figure of Sir W. Champain 
 rushing about with a lighted torch, now rises up before me, but 
 perhaps I may be mistaken in this particular. 
 
 We had a grand batteau in the woods of the rebel chief, Koer 
 Singh ; and when the time arrived in early morning for a start, at 
 least a hundred willing hands were present to beat the jungles. 
 Sikhs and Goorkhas, and the villagers who lived around, came 
 forward to see the fun. Plenty of rough music was forthcoming 
 too ; drums, and horns, and bells to scare the savage boar or bear, 
 and rouse him from his den. I went forward with the other guns, 
 and soon we had all arranged ourselves behind some bush, or rock, 
 or tree. What a lovely scene it was of joyous freedom. One for 
 
 * Sir W. Champain subsequently was Director-General of Telegraphs in Persia. 
 
WANDERING MAGPIE 
 
 OR 
 
 COOK-LEE. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 187 
 
 which I had longed for many years, and I would not have changed 
 places with a king upon his throne elsewhere. 
 
 A cloudless sky was overhead, and not a leaf was stirring, for the 
 Indian jungles on a calm day seem very still and lonely. The long- 
 tailed Magpie* perhaps may call cook-lee, cook-lee, at intervals, and 
 the distant dreamy crow of the jungle cock may sound a note of 
 challenge, or perhaps the stately tread of wild peafowl as they search 
 for scorpions or centipedes among the grass and stones, may make 
 the hunter cock his ear as he lies concealed, and cause him to 
 whisper, " Hush ! what's that ? " Eagles and vultures too, which 
 abound in India, are pretty sure to be soaring overhead, and make me 
 remember the tom-tits and robins which I caught in England with 
 feelings of contempt. 
 
 But the spasmodic silence is soon broken with a horrible din 
 
 ** The sixpenny drum and the trumpet of tin," 
 
 besides a hundred men trying who can shout the loudest, in order 
 to stir up every living thing, from a tiger to a bul-bul. 
 
 The native hunter squatting by me, and whom I subsequently 
 discovered knew a few English words, touches my elbow and 
 whispers, " Ham I Sahib, Ham ! " and with lightning speed the 
 word was turned over in my head. "The Garden of Delight" which 
 I had been reading in Hindustani, and dictionaries were mentally 
 searched in vain. I could not make out what the fellow meant by 
 " Ham ! " But the mystery was quickly solved, as a large wild boar 
 came leisurely trotting up the jungle track leading to where I sat. I 
 bowled him over with my first barrel, but up he jumped again, and 
 went off at a tangent, receiving my second bullet as he fled. 
 
 These were the first shots fired, and Colonel Rattray was soon 
 beside me, enquiring what was up, and when I told him, he took 
 the post of danger and followed on our quarry, I bringing up the 
 
 * Many species of Indian Birds recall very pleasant memories. Amongst them may be mentioned the Cook- 
 lee, which was ever calling in the garden, whilst I was reading with my Munshi. Another bird I loved was 
 the Brown Shrike, whose chatter in October announced a speedy advent of the cool season ; as the wild song 
 of the Missel-thrush heralds the coming Spring, and warmer weather, in England. 
 
1 88 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 rear behind. How well I remember his tall, picturesque figure, as 
 leader of the Sikhs. Stepping delicately over the stony ground, 
 appearing like some romantic chief upon the stage, but like a 
 cautious general also, peering into every bush and tuft of jungle, so 
 as to be ready, in case the boar should charge us unawares. This 
 skirmishing went on for fifty yards. The time we took in covering 
 the ground was short, but very exciting whilst it lasted, as this was 
 the first large game I had come across. But when we reached a 
 small open space, among some circling trees, there lay the boar 
 stone-dead, with one bullet through his heart and the other through 
 his brain. 
 
 I raised a shrill whoo-hoop, and Ross Mangles came running up, 
 and when he saw the quarry, he turned on me and said, " You're a 
 nice fellow, you are ! You must be fined at least six dozen of 
 champagne ! Fancy shooting such a noble beast * as this ! " 
 
 But Colonel Rattray took my part, as he always did, and pointed 
 out the impossibility of riding with a spear, in such a forest ; and, 
 doubtless there were plenty of other boars about. 
 
 Although my double shot at the wild boar undoubtedly was pretty 
 fair, I exceeded it shortly afterwards, by sending a bullet through the 
 head of a tiger, at a distance of a hundred yards, as he was rushing 
 towards a crowd of unarmed natives. Even that shot was 
 excelled by my neighbour. Captain Noyes, whose brother " Plum- 
 pudding " I have already mentioned as one of the first arrivals at 
 Marlborough College. This gentleman, who has killed much large 
 game in many parts of the world, saw through his telescope one day 
 
 * Wild boar hunting, or pig-sticking as it is called in India, is alluded to in the following lines, culled from 
 a well-known song : 
 
 " Then let's away : at break of day, 
 Ride vale and hill-top o'er, 
 Scale mountain-side, and stem the tide, 
 To spear the savage boar. 
 
 'Mid festal times in other climes 
 
 We'll think of days so dear, 
 And fill the cup, and drain it up. 
 
 To snaffle, spur, and spear." 
 
 When I wrote home from India and told my old aunt that I had been enjoying some " pig-sticking," she, 
 much scandalized, forthwith demanded an explanation from my father. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 189 
 
 in India, a huge crocodile basking on a Ganges sandbank. So, in 
 the presence of a cloud of witnesses, he carefully sighted his rifle to 
 nine hundred yards, and taking a more than usually steady aim, 
 pulled the trigger. 
 
 Locksley, in his celebrated shot at the willow wand, had to make 
 allowance for the wind ; but my neighbour was spared any exasper- 
 ating calculations in this particular, for the air was very calm ; and 
 feeling confidence, as every sportsman should, in his rifle and 
 himself, he set sail up the Ganges, and after a somewhat tedious 
 voyage, found, on his arrival at the sandbank, the crocodile dead, 
 with a bullet through his eye and brain — the only vital part. 
 
 But, returning briefly to Patna. As no one had better oppor- 
 tunities than I, of forming an opinion regarding the affairs there, 
 during Mr. Tayler's reign, no one was in a more favourable position 
 for viewing the internecine war — which followed after the Relief of 
 Arrah — between the late Commissioner, backed up by the public 
 voice, on the one hand, and the new Commissioner, Mr. Justice 
 Samuels, on the other; for I was intimate with both parties. I 
 almost lived at Mr. Tayler's house, and I dined frequently with Mr. 
 Samuels, who; so far as I could judge, was an upright English 
 gentleman. He apparently shared the views of the Government at 
 Calcutta, that his predecessor's policy regarding the Wahabees, was 
 wrong, and that the recall of the out-lying stations, was either the 
 result of panic, or culpable want of foresight in not anticipating 
 Eyre's victory. 
 
 Although I, for reasons already stated, had no doubt whatever 
 that injustice had been done to Mr. Tayler, I quite failed to see that 
 the orders which emanated from Calcutta were given otherwise than 
 in good faith. Treachery and panic are ugly words, and those 
 accused of such things must expect little sympathy from English 
 statesmen until it can be demonstrated, clearly as a proposition in 
 Euclid, that the accusations are totally devoid of foundation. 
 
 We were down on our luck certainly for the present ; and I felt 
 we were on all-fours with Mr. Pickwick, when his lawyer addressed 
 
I90 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 him thus : "A jury has decided against you. Well ; that verdict is 
 wrong : but still they decided as they thought right, and it is against 
 you." 
 
 Under such circumstances Mr. Tayler's wisest policy would have 
 been to keep quiet, and had he done so, subsequent events, I have 
 little doubt, would have justified his proceedings ; matters would 
 have been smoothed over, and again he would have been deemed 
 fitted for the highest administrative command. 
 
 But unfortunately he could not view the matter in this hght. 
 Thoroughly satisfied that his policy had been right, and considering 
 himself the saviour of Patna, he thought those who differed from 
 him must be wilfully blind and disingenuous ; and even anyone like 
 myself, whose probity he acknowledged to be above suspicion, if he 
 dared to suggest that possibly there might be two opinions in such 
 a cause, did so at the risk of meeting with a reception similar to 
 that of Gil Bias, when he criticised the Archbishop of Granada's 
 homilies. He accordingly proclaimed war to the knife, neither 
 giving nor demanding quarter, and as he had a facile pen and 
 pencil,* he hoped soon to right himself and cover his opponents 
 with obloquy and ridicule. 
 
 " The late Commissioner of Patna has a good deal of Mister 
 John Bull about him," a native gentleman of high rank said to me, 
 " see what thrusts he gives with his sharp horns." But it was like 
 Virgil's bull, which contended with the winds, 
 
 " Arboris obnixtis trunco, ventosque lacessit 
 Ictibus, et sparsa ad pugnam proludit arena J' ^ 
 
 But we must not judge Mr. Tayler too harshly. Had he been 
 six feet high with shoulders in proportion, he might have smiled 
 merely at the charge of panic, and contented himself with punching 
 the head of anyone who dared to repeat the accusation in his 
 
 * H? was a brother of Frederick Tayler, the artist, and according to some, had equal natural talent. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 191 
 
 presence. But he was no bigger than Warren Hastings, and both, 
 Hke Virgil's bees, 
 
 " Ingentes animos angusto in pectore versant." * 
 
 Sir Walter Scott says that it is less dangerous to impugn the 
 honour of some men than their horsemanship. But how much 
 more dangerous is it to charge a high-spirited little chap, who, even 
 with the aid of high-heeled boots is little more than five feet high, 
 with want of courage. 
 
 Those who explore the Indian jungles will probably meet with a 
 graceful bird, well known to naturalists as "Galliis bellicosus,'' whose 
 shrill notes of challenge may be heard for miles around. Perched 
 on some mound or hillock to make up for deficient size, woe to any 
 of its species wandering near which dares to impugn its courage. 
 Without a single thought of what the consequence may be, it ruffles 
 its feathers, sets its spurs, and then the hunter, if he keeps con- 
 cealed, may witness a sanguinary battle, in which, after the first few 
 feints and passes, such fearful wounds are given that the weaker 
 bird is soon lying gasping on its back, whilst the victor, flying to 
 the very summit of a neighbouring hill, sounds its shrill clarion of 
 triumph. 
 
 I am sure that if Mr. Tayler were living now, he would not object 
 to such a simile as this, for often with his facile pencil he depicted 
 such a fight. Only, so sanguine was he of ultimate success, that the 
 head of the winning bird bore a marked resemblance to his own ; 
 whilst his rival, with wounded wing or bleeding breast, was lying 
 hors-de-combat on the ground. 
 
 Those however, who, like the hunter, viewed the combat from afar, 
 required no prophetic eye to see how it all must end, as each 
 succeeding thrust which Mr. Tayler gave, placed the members of 
 the Government deeper in this dilemma : — That even supposing they 
 wished to do him justice, they could not do so without accepting 
 his theory, that his opponents, some of them eminent statesmen, 
 
 * "With mighty souls in little bodies prest." — Dryderis Translation. 
 
192 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 must come down from their pedestals, and take their rank with 
 MachiaveUi or Barere. 
 
 It may be said, " Well, let them come down from their pedestals if 
 Mr. Tayler was in the right." 
 
 " Fiat justitia ruit caelum / " 
 
 But the fact is, that India is a long way off, and a vigorous policy 
 out there in extraordinary times may be viewed bona-fide in very 
 different lights. 
 
 I have always seen many points of resemblance between Mr. 
 Tayler and Warren Hastings, and although perhaps neither would 
 thank me for the comparison, both afford good examples of the 
 varying light in which a vigorous Indian policy in extraordinary 
 times may be viewed. The greatest Englishman of the eighteenth 
 century, considered that the natives of India were justified in raising 
 a temple to Hastings as a demon, whilst the greatest writer of the 
 nineteenth, declares that only one cemetery was worthy to contain his 
 remains; and this writer, posing as " Sir Oracle," has raised his hero, 
 whose reputation was almost sinking into obscurity, on a pedestal 
 which will last as long as the English language. 
 
 From very early childhood I had heard of Warren Hastings. My 
 mother told me how he was a frequent visitor at her father's house 
 in Portland Place, and how, perhaps prompted by a natural instinct, 
 he would tie her up by her hair to the furniture or anything coming 
 handy; and when I walked abroad in the village here, old people 
 would describe how they worked for the Governor, at Daylesford, 
 close by, and how he declared as they were building a certain wall, 
 that the thermometer marked two degrees higher than he had ever 
 seen it in Bengal.* How he would walk for hours together with his 
 hands tightly clasped behind him, backwards and forwards, appar- 
 ently in deep thought, and how (this of course was a delightful 
 
 * Either the Governor must have made a mistake, or the instrument clearly was out of order. 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 193 
 
 story,) he brought home some couch grass, t and told his man to 
 plant it for ornament in his garden. 
 
 Although both Hastings and Tayler possessed administrative 
 talents of high order, they both would have saved themselves, and 
 everybody else, a world of trouble had they used honey in the place 
 of gall, for ink, and followed the plan of the Emperor Nang-fu, who 
 destroyed his enemies, by making them his friends.* It is said that 
 Francis, the chief antagonist of Hastings was implacable ; but I 
 don't believe this theory, for in my humble way, I always found, in 
 India, these so-called implacable fellows, the easiest to get on with, 
 if they were only treated fairly, and without a parade of insolent 
 superiority, particularly when one stood a round or so above them 
 on the official ladder, as Hastings did compared with Francis. 
 
 In my youthful days I spent much of my time at Daylesford, 
 where, after dinner, my host would read out manuscript verses 
 written by Warren Hastings, in which ridicule of Francis appeared 
 in almost every line. I moved uneasy in my chair whilst the 
 recitation was going on, and like Macaulay, thought my reckoning 
 high ; but the invective was so very cutting, that I was wont to 
 apply it subsequently to my playmates when the evil side of my 
 nature came uppermost, and I wished to "rile" them. 
 
 The celebrated legend, " Men^ cequa in arduis,^^ attached to the 
 portrait of Hastings in Calcutta, may fairly be translated by the 
 watchword of one of Trollope's characters, " 'Tis dogged as does 
 it," for Warren's principal role in life appears to have been getting 
 
 t The most troublesome weed we have, and yet, strange tosay, I have never found a farmer who could point 
 it out in flower. The creeping root-stock alone being recognised. 
 
 * " Hastings had no very high opinion of his coadjutors. They had heard of this, and were disposed to be 
 suspicious and punctilious. When men are in such a slate of mind, any trifle is sufficient to give occasion for 
 dispute. The members of the Council expected a salute of twenty-one guns ; Hastings allowed them only 
 seventeen. They landed in ill-humour : the first civilities were e.xchanged with cold reserve. On the morrow 
 commenced that long quarrel, which, after distracting British India, was renewed in England, and in which 
 all the most eminent statesmen and orators of the age took active part, on one or the other side." (Macau/ay.) 
 
 The coadjutors here mentioned were Francis, Clavering and Monson. A fellow feeling makes us wondrous 
 kind, and Macaulay, who exulted in "dusting varlets' jackets" with his gigantic blue and yellow broom, 
 naturally sympathised with his ana.r andron, who shot Francis, killed Clavering, with an ostentatious display 
 of his " elegant Marian," and lampooned all three of his colleagues as occasion suggested. 
 
 Hastings was a dead hand at Latin grammar, but he seems to have profited very little by the well-known 
 example, .„ 
 
 " Parvi sunt forts anna, nisi est consilium ciomi. 
 
 which seems to mean, that those who are for ever squabbling amongst themselves, are poor tools for bringing 
 peace and prosperity to India. 
 
 o 
 
194 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 into scrapes and adroitly getting out of them again, generall)' after 
 years of trouble and anxiety which would have been insupportable 
 to mortals less pachydermatous than himself. His vigorous policy 
 occupied the attention of Parliament more or less for a period of 
 seven years ; Mr. Tayler occupied it more or less for one day, and 
 then short work was made of his vigorous policy at Patna, for an 
 astute orator on the other side, like Sergeant Snubbin, led a 
 majority b)' the nose, and demonstrated to their satisfaction that 
 even if Mr. Tayler had not been guilt}' of treachery and panic ; like 
 iEsop's lambkin, he had been guilty of other crimes and mis- 
 demeanours still more heinous. 
 
 Both Hastings and Tayler acted according to their lights; and 
 I have no doubt that to their latest breath they thought the blows 
 they gave were only what their antagonists deserved. However 
 that may be, they raised enemies amongst men quite as valiant as 
 themselves, and far more powerful, besides forfeiting the "heavenly 
 sympathy " of many thoughtful men ; especially those who, having 
 led easy-going citizen lives, had never been tried as they were. 
 
 When my Portland Place progenitor, who used his spear so deftly 
 at Benares, retired from the service, he ornamented his spoons and 
 forks with what is called " a crest " ; but when he contemplated 
 adding book-plates to his library, he found he wanted a legend to 
 superscribe. Whilst he was in this dilemma, the Marquis Wellesley 
 called, and hearing the cause of trouble, at once suggested a motto, 
 which was adopted with applause, ' 
 
 " Dum spiro, spero / " * 
 
 This motto also was adopted by Mr. Tayler ; and to the hour of 
 his death he thought and talked of nothing but the alleged injustice 
 done him, carrying on at the same time a hopeless war with those 
 who had kept him from honour, by refusing to acknowledge him as 
 the Saviour of Patna during the Indian Mutiny. 
 
 I am told that three historians of the Indian Mutiny — Kaye, 
 Malleson, and Holmes — have devoted a considerable amount of 
 
 _' "Whilst I live, I hope." As "dog Latin" it maybe read, "Dum spiro, spearo !" "I defend my life 
 with my spear." 
 
PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 195 
 
 space to Mr. Tayler's case, and that on the whole they applaud his 
 policy. I am glad to hear it ; and without going so far as to 
 declare that only one cemetery was worthy to contain his remains, 
 or that the safety of all Bengal was due to Mr. Tayler's vigorous 
 policy — as I have not the face of Janus to see what might have 
 happened had it been otherwise — I will content myself by saying, 
 what after all appears to me of primary importance, that I believe 
 I 9we my existence at the present moment to it. 
 
 But I have said more than I intended about Patna, and will 
 conclude this chapter by briefly stating that in my time, the Indian 
 Civil Service was the finest in the world for persons of mediocre 
 talents like myself; of course assuming that they liked the country 
 when they got there. But those who conceived an inextinguishable 
 aversion to the mean heat of eighty degrees, the confinement 
 within doors for many months in the year, mosquitoes, cholera, 
 fever, and other attendant evils and discomforts, might well com- 
 pare their period of service to purgatory. Several of my contem- 
 poraries soon after landing threw up the service in disgust, but I 
 suspect they subsequently had reason for repentance. 
 
 But whatever objection there may be about the climate, no one 
 can reasonably complain about the natives, for they are the best set 
 of fellows to govern in the world. 
 
 Soon after I got to India, I had orders to hang a native policeman 
 for alleged mutiny, and when I arrived on the scene of action, I 
 found myself the only European present. The Civil Surgeon ought 
 to have been there, but I thought it best not to wait for him. 
 When I mounted my man upon the gallows, he appealed to his 
 compatriots around to rescue him. But the sight of my rosy cheeks 
 and awful European hat, had such a terrifying effect upon the crowd, 
 that no one stirred, and when the Surgeon came, the man was dead. 
 I always thought the natives a very tractable, pleasant set of fellows 
 to govern after that. 
 
 I arrived in India at a very auspicious time for me, and as it is 
 an ill wind that blows no one any good, the Mutiny and other 
 causes, so thinned the ranks above me, that without any merits 
 
 02 
 
196 PATNA DURING THE MUTINY. 
 
 whatever of my own, I was thrust into appointments which other- 
 wise I might have waited for through many years, and perhaps 
 never have gained at all. I had hardly passed my examinations, 
 when, as no one else was available, I was sent to officiate as the 
 Chief Magistrate of that sacred city, Gya ; the substantive appoint- 
 ment being worth :£'3000 a year. Then I was employed for three 
 years in taking up land for public purposes on a very high salary, 
 whilst living in tents; and then I was pitchforked on to the Bench 
 as Civil and Sessions Judge to try a cause celebre, in a manner 
 which made me think that after all there was really some reason 
 for supposing I was " heaven-born." 
 
 Only one case of mine, if I remember right, was upset on appeal 
 to the High Court ; but the upset order of that one occupied a 
 whole sheet of the daily papers, and formed a nine day's wonder. 
 It was too long to read right through, but I culled passages here 
 and there, and so far as I could understand them, they seemed to 
 show that my ideas of the fundamental principles of Eternal Justice 
 differed widely from my critic's. But Sir George Campbell, the 
 Lieutenant-Governor, took my part, and the unfavourable comments 
 seemed to do me little harm, for I got promotion a short time after. 
 
 Then I was one of the principal Famine Officers in 1876, and 
 when Sir Richard Temple kindly offered me a Commissionership, 
 which would have made me like a little king over a very large tract 
 of country, I conceived an overwhelming desire to see my native 
 land once more. 
 
 Just then the men in the " new boat " were crying out and saying 
 that the rowers in the "old boat" were blocking the promotion 
 stream ; so I accepted an offer made to me and my contemporaries, 
 which enabled me to retire before my full period of service had 
 expired, on what I considered advantageous terms. I was compara- 
 tively young, my father was still alive, and I was able to settle 
 down under the shadow of my old home, where seated under my 
 own vine and fig-tree, I have been able to realize how true the 
 saying is, that, 
 
 "A contented mind affords a continual feast." 
 
A SKETCH OF THE NATURAL HISTORY 
 OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 NEW YEAR S DAY IN THE RIVIERA. 
 
 HOSE who have endured a succession of Enghsh 
 Winters, and have grown grey without extending 
 their travels beyond the British Isles, must find 
 difficulty in realising the fact that a journey of 
 thirty-six hours from London can carry them to a 
 land where the palm tree flourishes in the open air, 
 where geraniums and roses may be seen covered 
 with flowers by the road-side in December, and where green peas 
 are gathered on Christmas Day, Indeed, were an untravelled 
 Englishman to take a sleeping potion on a tempestuous winter's 
 night, and not awake before he reached Cannes, at a point over- 
 looking the sparkling sea, with the purple heath-covered mountains 
 rising in the back-ground until they end in perpetual snow, he might 
 not unreasonably imagine that he had arrived at those delectable 
 regions described by Bunyan. 
 
 But not only are the cloudless skies, the warm sun, and beautiful 
 scenery of the Riviera towns — Cannes, Nice, and Mentone — 
 inducements for migration to escape the English Winter, but as yet 
 the English rough has not penetrated so far, and consequently the 
 surrounding country, with its pine woods, its orange and myrtle 
 groves, are open to all, and the traveller may explore the neighbour- 
 
200 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 hood with a freedom almost unknown at home. To a botanist 
 these shores of the Mediterranean are pecuharly attractive, for not 
 only do many rare English plants make their headquarters here, but 
 of late years numerous other countries, not excepting even the 
 Antipodes, have contributed their most useful and conspicuous 
 plants to add their beauties to those of the indigenous kinds. Here 
 the blue gums of Australia have found a home, and, although 
 planted by the present generation, have become stately trees sixty 
 feet high, with a circumference of ten feet. Apparently they thrive 
 so well that in the distant future, not improbably they will oust the 
 native trees, and look on the country as their own. At present their 
 culture is encouraged so far as possible by man, in consequence of 
 the influence their aromatic juices are supposed to possess over the 
 various ills which human flesh is heir to. Here also flourish the 
 casuarinas, or Australian beefwood trees — those mock conifers, as 
 they may be called, which grow also in my Indian garden, and 
 which are worth cultivating were it only to hear the wind softly 
 sighing upon a summer's evening through their long pendant 
 horse-tail leaves. Several acacias and mimosas from Australia, seen 
 only under glass in England, are also here, and with them the 
 so-called pepper tree {Schinus molle), whose racemes of berries, like 
 coral beads, would add grace to the most beautiful garden in the 
 world. 
 
 Among the exotic plants which are to be seen in the gardens here, 
 and which testify to the high mean temperature of the air, may be 
 mentioned the bamboo, the date palm, the sugar cane, and 
 American agave, which many of our transatlantic cousins, coming 
 from the north, see for the first time flourishing in hedges here. 
 Indeed, so completely do the thirty-six hours from London change 
 the scene, that on entering the garden of the Beau-Site Hotel at 
 Cannes late in November, it appeared as though we were walking 
 in some gigantic conservatory, whose glass had suddenly been 
 removed by fairy hands. 
 
 Steam, the great civilizer here as in England, has long since 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 201 
 
 sounded the death note of stage coaches, and few of the present 
 generation of travellers have seen the beauties of the Corniche road, 
 which runs between Cannes and Mentone, nearly 2000 feet above 
 the sea, and the railroad which winds along the shore. There is no 
 finer road for the pedestrian in Europe. Below lies the blue Medi- 
 terranean, and to the north a succession of rocky hills and snow- 
 capped mountains form a picturesque contrast to the olive orchards 
 and stone-pines which adjoin the road. 
 
 On New Year's day my daughter and I determined to walk from 
 Nice to Mentone, over the Corniche road, a distance of twenty 
 miles, and make a collection of plants by the way. We breakfasted 
 in the hotel garden under the shade of some orange trees, whose 
 fruit, hanging in hundreds overhead, formed a picturesque contrast 
 to the scarlet arbutus berries close by. The cold morning air was 
 scented by numerous geraniums and heliotrope flowers, amongst 
 which bees and butterflies, and the humming-bird hawk-moth — 
 were breakfasting by our side. Most of the other residents of the 
 hotel were still in bed ; but one clerical gentleman, a new arrival 
 from London, was airing his French before the assembled waiters 
 "■ J'ai beaucoup de femmes,'''^ he exclaimed, rubbing his hands as his 
 breakfast was placed upon the table; translating for our benefit; 
 that the change of air " had made him very hungry." The waiters, 
 however, viewed him with astonishment, and not unnaturally took 
 him for a Mormon or a Turk. 
 
 The first portion of our walk lay through the town of Nice, and 
 here we saw the small game of the inhabitants exposed for sale : 
 blackbirds and thrushes, hawfinches, goldfinches, mountain finches, 
 with here and there a woodpecker, Sardinian warbler and jay. 
 These constitute the ortolans of visitors, as short-toed larks and 
 wagtails pass for ortolans in India. 
 
 One would imagine that the insignificant size of the gold-crest 
 would have saved it from destruction ; but no ! here it is exposed 
 for sale as food ; and we saw a stout gentleman come and buy one 
 for a penny. 
 
 * I believe this mistake is frequently made. 
 
2 02 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 " You have indeed a bonne bouche there," the vendor cried ; " but 
 why not have some more ? " she added, bringing down a string of 
 robins and chaffinches. But on the stout gentleman declaring that 
 he had enough, the vendor seized my daughter's arm, as though 
 a sudden enlightenment had dawned upon her, and screamed, "Aha! 
 he has bought that delicate morsel for his leetle baby." 
 
 Here also exposed for sale is a kite, which some fortunate chasseur 
 has brought down ; but he must be nearly the last of his race, for 
 the birds are well-nigh exterminated in this country, and no song is 
 heard to break the silence of the woods. 
 
 We passed on through the market to buy some fruit to help us on 
 our way ; but although plentiful and cheap, there can be no doubt 
 that the fruit is only second-rate, when compared with that exposed 
 for sale in England. The apples, pears, and oranges would hardly 
 find a market in London, which only accepts the best which the 
 earth affords ; and, after tasting the produce of the vineyards here, 
 we can sympathise with Reynard when he declared that the grapes 
 were sour. The only fruit we largely patronise are the half-dried 
 native figs, twenty for a penny. 
 
 By the time our purchases are made the sun has risen high above 
 the horizon in a cloudless sky, and its rays reflected from the sea 
 compel us to shield our heads with our umbrellas, notwithstanding 
 that the shortest day has only lately passed. We were glad to get 
 under the shadow of the castle rock to admire the large yellow 
 Mediterranean stone-crops, growing on the face of the precipice, 
 along with red valerians, beloved by cottage gardeners in England. 
 There is a great want of life upon the sea ; and, although the glossy 
 water is warm and inviting, hardly anyone appears to go upon it 
 either for pleasure or profit ; but as we pass the castle and come 
 again upon the beach, the first fishermen we have seen are dragging 
 their net to shore over the pebbly bottom of the sea. We had not 
 long to wait before a huge octopus appeared, and a bulldog-looking 
 fisher boy rushed down and seized it in his teeth, worrying it 
 until apparently life was extinct, although its suckers convulsively 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
 203 
 
 THE OCTOPUS. 
 
 clutched hold of the basket to which it was consigned. This bulldog- 
 youth, from whom my 
 daughter could hardly 
 take her horror-stricken 
 eyes, then turned his 
 attention to the remain- 
 ing occupants of the net, 
 which were not numer- 
 ous or large. There were 
 six grey mullet, a dozen 
 or so of sardines, and 
 four crayfish, represen- 
 tatives of a motley group 
 which, unseen by human 
 eye, must have many a 
 fierce struggle for exist- 
 ence beneath the blue waters of the sea. 
 
 On leaving the sea shore, our road led up among the hills, until 
 we reached the limestone quarries, which supply the east end of the 
 town of Nice with stones and lime. Here we sat down to admire 
 one of the most beautiful views in the world. Below was the Villa- 
 franca harbour, large enough to hold all the fleets of the world. 
 The sea was smooth as glass, and where there was no seaweed on 
 the rocks below, the spots appeared like emeralds set in sapphire. 
 The town and neighbouring hills looked so still and lifeless that 
 persons accustomed to the crowded and smoky towns of England, 
 passing as we did, might think them uninhabited. The only sign 
 of life around us was a redstart, seeking among the crevices of the 
 rocks a suitable site for his nest in the coming Spring. Here we 
 found the creeping asparagus {A. acutifoliiis) , the Cineraria maritima, 
 and the Mediterranean harebell {Campanula niacrorhiza). Here and 
 there are stone-pines and cork trees, whose acorns are thickly 
 strewn around, and whose bark has been partially stripped off to 
 make floats for fishing nets. I cut an extra stopper for our water- 
 
204 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 bottle, but the cork was very inferior in quality, and fit only for 
 making floats or imitation rockwork, such as figures in London 
 window gardens. Suddenly a loud hoarse cry was heard, and looking 
 up we expected to see a crow fly out, but nothing stirred, although 
 we shook the tree. Presently we discovered a green tree frog among 
 the branches, calling to his mate below. 
 
 After leaving the quarry we scrambled up among the rocks, which 
 were almost hidden by wild rosemary in flower, until we reached 
 the Corniche road, where four roads meet, and where, upon one of 
 the walls of a country inn, an English artist has painted a life-size 
 picture of Massena, who was born at Nice. This picture at once 
 recalled the lines of Byron : 
 
 " What is the end of fame ? 
 When the original is dust, 
 A name, a wretched picture, and worse bust." 
 
 As we were criticising this work of art, a troop of girls assembled 
 in front of the inn to enjoy the fresh mountain air, and to perform 
 a dance in honour of their patroness St. Marguerite. Many of them 
 had good faces ; but I am not among those who see much beauty 
 among the peasants either of Italy or France. An equal number of 
 Bengali girls would put them in the shade. But, if not beautiful, 
 they at ah events seemed happy. As we watched, two of their 
 number came, and, seizing my daughter's arm, carried her off with- 
 out resistance to the dance ; and, apparently so pleased were they 
 with the result, that they begged I would leave their newly-found 
 pupil with them till my return. This proposition, however, I was 
 not prepared to accept ; so, with many good wishes to help us on 
 our way, we continued our journey. Soon we found many plants 
 quite new to us in their wild state — the myrtle, juniper, and 
 mountain heath {Erica arborea), from whose roots the best briar 
 wood pipes are made. Where the land is cultivated, pomegranates, 
 loquats — those fragrant Chinese trees beloved by Indian gardeners — 
 and lemons grow; but the recent severe weather, they say, has 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 205 
 
 damaged the lemon harvest in the Riviera to the extent of several 
 million francs. We found a large hornet seated on a lemon looking 
 out for prey ; and, as we walked by the road side among the heath, 
 locusts, looking like small birds, rose up and in their flight reminded 
 us of flying fish, for they appear unable to control their wings, 
 suddenly dropping as though they had been shot. But birds were 
 rare. Here and there a few goldfinches were seen feeding on thistle- 
 down, and a solitary raven, which had escaped the chasseurs, who 
 are ever on the watch, was croaking among the rocks. 
 
 After a residence in England and India, the scarcity of birds here 
 is very marked. Rooks and wood pigeons are unknown. There are 
 no large trees for rooks to build their nests on, and if there were, 
 a rookery would attract every chasseur within one hundred miles, 
 and every bird, young and old, would be killed with the greatest 
 possible despatch. 
 
 At twelve o'clock we reached Turbia, which overlooks Monaco, 
 and forms one of the finest views in the world. A gambling 
 train from Nice arrived as we were standing there, and hundreds of 
 persons got out to try their luck at the tables. Many of the English 
 whom we met at the hotels go very regularly and lose their money 
 there. Some believe they can win by watching their opportunity ; 
 but most, whilst acknowledging that they must certainly lose in the 
 long run, declare that they consider themselves amply repaid by the 
 excitement which the tables afford. It is difficult to imagine that a 
 mathematician or an actuary would frequent the tables, for the 
 percentage which the bank will gain may be calculated to a very 
 considerable nicety. 
 
 Although I stayed some months at Nice and Mentone, and went 
 almost daily to Monaco, I never felt the smallest inclination to try 
 my luck at the tables, for it seemed like an invitation to play at 
 pitch and toss, on the understanding that I should pay a sovereign 
 when heads turned up, receiving only nineteen shillings for the 
 tails. But I had no objection to sit in a velvet cushioned chair, 
 and listen to the band ; for with my eyes turned up towards the 
 
2o6 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 angelic figures painted on the ceiling, which the music seemed 
 to animate as the authors of the celestial strains, it only required 
 a pipe to make one feel quite contented, and exclaim with Moore's 
 Peri, 
 
 " Oh, am I not happy ^ I am, I am ! " 
 
 But returning to our walk ; A number of idlers from the neigh- 
 bouring houses came round us as we were enjoying our bird's-e5^e 
 view of Monaco, and among them was a youth pointed out as the 
 genius of the place, who hoped to make his fortune on the stage b)'' 
 singing. We proposed that he should give us a specimen of his 
 powers by singing the " Marsellaise." This was greeted by the 
 bystanders with acclamation, and the youth, who needed no second 
 bidding, began to sing at the top of his voice, the others joining in 
 the chorus. Unfortunately, on coming to the second verse, a 
 donkey, which was grazing unconsciously close by, began to bray, 
 drowning the singer's voice, and our proceedings were terminated 
 by a roar of laughter. 
 
 From Turbia our downward march began towards Mentone, and 
 here the successive views of sea, precipices', and olive foliage became 
 very grand. We shouted to provoke an echo from the rocks, nearly 
 a thousand feet high on our left. " Who are you ? " was repeated 
 so clearly twice, at intervals of some seconds, that we half expected 
 to see some mocking ogre issue from the mountain caves ; but a 
 pair of buzzards circling over the highest peaks were the only signs 
 of life. Here among the rocks, under an olive tree, we found a few 
 purple anemones, which in the spring will form bright carpets 
 beneath the trees ; near them are pistacia bushes, which are not 
 molested even by the sheep and goats that browse among the rocks ; 
 their leaves and bright berries are saturated with a resinous juice, 
 which preserves them from attack. The progenitor of these bushes 
 has sent its offspring far and wide. Under the Indian sun they have 
 developed into mango trees, which by cultivation have been made to 
 yield the finest fruit in the world. The strong turpentine odour of 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 207 
 
 the leaves of both these distant cousins, as they may be called, is 
 still undistin^uishable. Here also by the road side we saw the far- 
 famed Carob tree, which has lately flowered and bears its young 
 
 THE CAROB BEAN. 
 
 horse beans thick upon its branches. This abnormal member of the 
 great pea family has so far advanced in the scale of excellence as to 
 bear its male and female flowers on separate trees ; and the student 
 of botany, after readings a diagnosis of the order as usually set forth 
 
2o8 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 in manuals, must feel sorely puzzled when he sees this tree. Packets 
 of Carob seeds were distributed by the Indian Government some 
 years ago, but I have not heard whether the experiment of intro- 
 ducing the tree into India has succeeded. 
 
 We now arrived at a corner of the road from which the town of 
 Mentone appeared a thousand feet below us, with Italy beyond. A 
 stream of pure cold water issued from the rock above, and some 
 benevolent person has placed a drinking fountain there, where 
 thirsty travellers can drink. May his shadow never grow less ! and 
 many men and beasts must gratefully have slaked their thirst, as we 
 did, there. The birds even have reason to be grateful, for we saw a 
 robin sitting by the water as we approached, but instinctively he 
 hurried off, fearing we should kill him for the pot. Above our 
 heads, on a thirsty-looking rock, we saw the beautiful sea lavatera 
 in flower, side by side with the Mediterranean sarsaparilla {Smilax 
 aspera), whose red berries remind one of the bryony of English 
 hedgerows. Here also are the head-quarters of the wild carrot, 
 which appears in every field, disputing each inch of ground with the 
 purple cuckoo-pint, whose poisonous look reminds one of the Indian 
 cobra with hood erect. 
 
 Up to the point where the branch road from Mentone to Monaco 
 joins the Corniche road, a distance of sixteen miles from Nice, we 
 met no one, but now man}' carriages came in view, the horses, 
 generally galloping, carrying persons who appeared in desperate 
 haste to lose their money at the tables. A well-appointed carriage 
 with four horses and postillions, also passed, and as we watched it 
 turning a sharp corner, one of the wheels caught against a pro- 
 jecting rock and threw the carriage upon its side. On running up 
 we learnt that this was the property of the Prince of Monaco, going 
 to meet him at the station. Although very little damage was done, 
 the box-seat was overhanging a deep precipice, and had anyone 
 been sitting there when the collision occurred, he must have been 
 shot out and fallen sixty feet into the ravine below. 
 
 It was now past noon, and the sun was very hot. We had 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
 209 
 
 collected as many plants on the road as we could carry, and were 
 glad to see the plane trees, forming at this season a leafless avenue 
 leading into Mentone, which town we reached at two p.m., having 
 enjoyed one of the most beautiful and pleasant walks that we have 
 taken in our lives. We felt only one regret, that our friends in 
 ice-bound England were not with us to share our pleasure. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 SPRING IN THE RIVIERA. 
 
 EW parts of the earth are so rich in wild flowers as 
 the country round Mentone, known as " Les Alpes 
 Maritimes.'" The land, where cultivation is possible, 
 has been dug over from a time when the Druids 
 ruled in Britain ; and every step taken beneath the 
 olive trees is on ground 
 
 " Where once a garden smiled, 
 And now where many a garden flower grows wild — " 
 
 Tulips and lilies, myrtles and orchids and anemones, whose stamens, 
 through generations of high feeding, have become converted into 
 brilliant-coloured petals. The variety of the plants is quite as 
 remarkable as their colour. The great pea family has four times as 
 many representative species in "Les Alpes Maritimes " as are to be 
 found in the British Isles ; and the vast plains of Bengal probably 
 do not contain one-half the number of plants which a resident of 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 211 
 
 Mentone may find within a single day's journey from his home. 
 Then the Labiates have twice as many species as are included in 
 the British flora ; and the Composites, which threaten in time to 
 drive all other competitors into the sea, outnumber their cousins 
 across the channel by nearly two hundred species. 
 
 But, whilst so much may be said in favour of the flora of Mentone 
 — for neither India, Burmah, nor Brazil can produce more beautiful 
 bouquets of wild flowers — the absence of stately trees and dense 
 foliage is remarkable throughout the Riviera. The only deciduous 
 trees of any size to be seen, are an elm tree at Gorbio — planted, so 
 an inscription says, in 171 1 — and here and there a few Spanish 
 chestnuts, which would only rank as second-class trees in England. 
 Hence the scarcity of birds along the Mediterranean shores, for 
 they cannot escape the prying eyes of chasseurs, who are ever on 
 the watch to kill them, great and small, as lawful game. The pines 
 and olives, the orange and lemon trees and vineyards which cover 
 the country, afford also indifferent shelter for nests, and, after 
 exploring the hills for miles, it is difficult to find a hedgerow or 
 thicket where even a thrush would care to lay her eggs. Rooks 
 and wood-pigeons are unknown, and only occasional!}^ a pair of 
 ravens may be seen circling over some tremendous precipice, where 
 their young ones can be reared in safety. In Spring, before the 
 so-called sportsmen have found them out, birds rarely seen in 
 England occasionally appear, and delight the eyes of naturalists 
 who visit the Riviera. The beautiful and very conspicuous wood- 
 chat shrike lingered for some days in an orchard attached to my 
 villa at Pau, and on several occasions I saw the hoopoe and golden 
 oriole in the neighbourhood. 
 
 But, notwithstanding the scarcity of birds, the naturalist who 
 passes the Winter at Mentone need not find the time pass heavy on 
 his hands. The geologist may examine a hundred miles of quarry 
 along the Corniche road, hewn out of the solid rock. The palaeon- 
 tologist may speculate on the bones and flints found in the limestone 
 caves close to the town. The entomologist may chase swallow- 
 
212 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 tails, painted ladies, and Camberwell beauties, over sunny hills and 
 valleys ; and whilst the arachnologist is studying the domestic 
 economy of the trapdoor spiders found in every mossy bank, he who 
 takes an interest in the inhabitants of the sea will find an endless 
 variety in the fishermen's nets, or exposed for sale daily in the 
 markets. 
 
 There is probably no road in Europe which offers so many attrac- 
 tions to the naturalist or pedestrian as that which runs between 
 Nice and Genoa. As its name — " Corniche " — implies, it is cut on 
 the side of the mountains which rise out of the Mediterranean, and 
 during its entire length of a hundred and thirty miles the sea breaks 
 upon the rocks below, whilst a succession of hills, valleys, gorges, 
 pine forests, and peeps of distant snow succeed each other in endless 
 variety. But the road is now almost deserted for the line of rail, 
 which passes along the shore through at least a hundred tunnels, so 
 that the most beautiful points of the road are passed by the railway 
 travellers unseen. 
 
 On New Year's Day I walked from Nice to Mentone, the first part 
 of the Corniche road, and even then the surrounding country was 
 green and beautiful ; but when the Spring arrived, and wild flowers 
 were everywhere starting into life, I determined to continue my walk 
 to Genoa. 
 
 Soon after sunrise my companion, Mr. Holcroft, and I set out. 
 The sky, as usual in Mentone, was cloudless, and the only sounds 
 which disturbed the morning air were the murmur of the waves of 
 the Mediterranean breaking on the pebbly beach, and the chorus of 
 a thousand green frogs perched up in the branches of the sur- 
 rounding orange groves. We paused for a few moments under a 
 neem tree (Melia) to watch the Corsican mountains eighty miles 
 distant, and the scene recalled a time in India when, standing under 
 a similar tree in my garden, I watched Mount Everest, the highest 
 mountain in the world, from a distance of one hundred and eighty 
 miles. But here the panorama soon faded from our view before the 
 rising sun, and we then passed on to the market, where at that early 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 215 
 
 hour baskets of octopi were coming in, together with sea urchins and 
 sea wolves {loup), milhons of small fry — which are eaten raw— snails 
 and thrushes, to feed the people of the town. The women who 
 kept the stalls were glad to see me, for I often paid them a visit, 
 and would purchase for a trifle what no one else would buy — fishing 
 frogs and sting-fish, spider-crabs and mantis shrimps, just arrived 
 from the bottom of the sea. The basket which I carried was soon 
 filled with sufficient specimens to stock a good-sized aquarium, and 
 as 1 moved away more than one epicure would exclaim, " Chacun a 
 son gout.''' But the morning of our walk we could not remain to 
 purchase, and we went on through the Eastern Bay, over whose 
 deep blue waves the sun was throwing a flood of light, reflecting 
 near the shore the caves in the red rocks which mark the boundary 
 line of Italy, and which in ages past formed the picturesque 
 habitation of primeval man, whose records, after lying hidden in 
 the earth for ages, are now being dug up and read. We thought 
 as we stood below the caves, that if the rocks could only speak and 
 tell us what had passed before them, how full of interest the history 
 would be. Were men always either making love or fighting then, 
 as they are now ? Were these palatial caves won and kept without 
 a struggle ? And if, as probably was the case, many a fierce 
 struggle took place on their account, were the vanquished thrown 
 over the rocks into the sea below us ; or were they eaten ? Then 
 how did the innumerable bones of hons, bears, and deer and horses 
 become mingled with the dust within the caves ? And what was 
 the history of the men whose skeletons were found lately, nineteen 
 feet below the soil ? As we thought about these things, and my 
 companion was soliloquising about the evolution of man and the 
 speedy advent of the Millennium, we scrambled up into the smallest 
 cave, which had hitherto been very little disturbed, and, on entering 
 it were astonished to find a man destitute of clothing, in puris 
 naturalibus, lying baskmg in the sun, breakfasting on limpets which 
 he had caught on the rocks below. This original picture of 
 primeval-like man in a primeval cave was not of long duration, 
 
2i6 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 for the fellow, who appeared equally surprised as we were, jumped 
 up, and retreating to the further end of the cavern, hastily put on 
 his clothes, and, running down the bank, joined some navvies, his 
 companions, who were working on the railroad below us — leaving 
 us to our own reflections regarding the evolution of man and the 
 Millennium. 
 
 These caves are well known to science. Two of them have been 
 cleared out, and their contents duly recorded in works relating to 
 pre-historic man. The smaller cave in which we stood has several 
 feet of soil almost undisturbed, and any visitor to Mentone, with a 
 few pounds to spare, might probably get leave to amuse himself next 
 Winter by clearing out the earth and collecting the bones and flints 
 and other treasures which lie buried there. We contented ourselves 
 by taking some flint chippings and a bone needle as mementoes of 
 our visit, and, scrambling down the bank again, we passed on to a 
 quarry by the road side, where the workmen have lately opened 
 out another cave, and where heaps of bones lie scattered about the 
 place. 
 
 The old ganger, who has learnt the value of the relics found 
 within the caves, has many of these things for sale, and, as he has 
 picked up some information about them from the savants who have 
 been there, like Captain Cuttle in charge of the scientific instrument 
 maker's shop, he sets himself up as a man of science, and retails his 
 information to anyone who will listen. He begins with assuring his 
 hearers that his wares are of ^' grande antiquite," words he delights 
 to linger over and repeat ; then, taking a pointed flint, he bares his 
 arm and demonstrates how the primeval doctor used it as a lancet. 
 Then taking some red ochre and some charcoal found within the 
 cave, he smears a little on his face, to show that the cave dwellers 
 adorned themselves and were partial to rouge et noir, as their 
 descendants are at Monte Carlo now. The nummulites, found by 
 thousands in the rocks, he describes as the money of those days, and 
 then with great mystery he pulls out his tobacco-box, and, holding 
 up a human tooth found many yards below the soil, he declares it 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
 ±\*j 
 
 to be a dent de Chretien. He invited us to buy, but I pleaded being 
 only a poor savant like himself, adding that if he could spare any of 
 
 
 THE ANEMONE. 
 
 his treasures for so small a sum as ten centimes as a memento of 
 his lecture, that coin was at his disposal. 
 
 It was worth that sum to see the struggle which ensued between 
 
 Q 
 
2i8 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 the thrift, for which the inhabitants of these shores are noted, and 
 the anxiety to deal fairly with one who had proclaimed himself a 
 poor man of science like himself. It remmded us of the scene in 
 " Ivanhoe " where Gurth is paying Isaac for his master's armour. 
 But in this instance generosity prevailed ; for, after running his 
 trembling fingers for some time over his treasures, the old man at 
 last pounced down, as an equivalent for my coin, on a fossil bivalve 
 worth at least three-halfpence. 
 
 By this time the sun was high above the horizon, and we had 
 only come two miles ; so we wished our entertainer good-bye and 
 the speedy disposal of his wares. The rocks around are celebrated 
 not only for their caves, but also for a deep and picturesque gorge, 
 where a stream of water comes tumbling down a precipice fully 
 five hundred feet high ; an ancient aqueduct with arches spans the 
 rocks within ; whilst high up, suspended in mid-air, is a limestone 
 bridge which separates France from Italy. Here many plants have 
 found a home. The mauve Lavatera, which, like most of the mallow 
 family, has conspicuous flowers, is common there ; and by its side 
 are gorse-like coronilla bushes, bright with crowds of yellow 
 blossoms. Wild thyme is also there, and rosemary, beloved by 
 bees, whilst maiden-hair ferns grow in great profusion by the water- 
 side. Many butterflies select this spot, for high mountains shelter 
 it on the north, and the bright sun, reflected from the rocks, keeps 
 perpetual summer there. Our road led us through olive gardens, 
 and terraces of lemon trees, whose golden fruit lay scattered in 
 hundreds on the ground. Orange groves were also passed ; but the 
 mere thought of a Mentone orange sets one's teeth on edge, and the 
 people of the Riviera, who adore Columbus, have great cause for 
 gratitude in his finding a country where they can dispose of their 
 inferior fruit for flavouring gin-slings and cocktails. 
 
 The fourth milestone brought us to Mr. Hanbury's celebrated 
 garden, which during this Anemone season is at its best. The 
 garden stands some three hundred feet above the sea. On one side 
 are yellow and red rocks, with distant purple hills; below, bordering 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 219 
 
 on the sea, are emerald-coloured pines and bushes of yellow spurge, 
 which in the dazzling sun appear like huge topazes set in among the 
 rocks; whilst the distant white town of Bordighera, at the extremity 
 of an undulating promontory, resembles the ivory horn of some huge 
 
 THE TUNNY FISH. 
 
 monster thrust into the sea. Within the gardens are the choicest 
 plants, collected from every country which has a climate like Men- 
 tone — blue-gum trees, acacias and minosas, palms and aloes, with 
 lilies and roses of every shade and hue. But the chief attraction 
 are the Anemones, thousands of which were growing side by side, 
 
120 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 with brilliant-coloured tulips, producing a panorama never to be 
 forgotten. A thrush in an orange tree was trying to drown the 
 distant murmur of the waves, and the sighing of the wind through 
 the horsetail leaves of the casuarina trees produced a mysterious 
 dreamy feeling which made my companion subsequently, not with- 
 out reason, exclaim, " I have been in heaven." But there is only 
 one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. An old lady with two 
 daughters was also visiting the garden, and in no measured terms 
 she was instructing them in botany. " Here you see," she cried, 
 " my dears, is the aloe, which flourishes once only in a hundred 
 years. There," pointing to the eucalyptus tree, " you have the 
 gum tree, from which our gum arable is made; and there," directing 
 their attention to a casuarina tree, " you see the asparagus of 
 Australia." 
 
 The day hitherto had been beautiful and clear ; but now the clouds 
 which had been gathering over the mountain-tops were spreading 
 out towards the sea, and a cold wind swept down the valley, raising 
 clouds of dust. By the time we reached Bordighera the sea was 
 white with foam, and we witnessed one of those mimic tempests 
 which have blown over many a sail, and which cost the life of 
 Shelley. 
 
 At the neighbouring headland some men were erecting a platform 
 near the sea, in order to watch for Tunnies, those huge fish whose 
 migration from the Atlantic Ocean into the warm waters of the 
 Mediterranean is as regular now as it was 2000 years ago. This 
 may have been the very spot where the love-sick swain mentioned 
 by Theocritus is supposed to have intended hurling himself: 
 
 'n-Trep TO)? 0ui/i/G)9 a-KOTTM^erat "OXirtf 6 'ypnrevfi * 
 
 * "(I will cast off my coat of skins and into yonder waves I will spring,) where the fisher Olpis watches for 
 the Tunny-shoals." {Andrew Lang's Translation.) 
 
 More than two thousand years after the time when Olpis was watching, the Rev. J. G. Wood writes of the 
 Tunny, " This magnificent, and most important fish, does not visit our shores in sufficient numbers to be of any 
 commercial value ; but on the shores of the Mediterranean, where it is found in very great abundance, it forms 
 one of the chief sources of wealth to the sea-side population. 
 
 " In May and fune the Tunnies move in vast shoals along the shores, seeking for suitable spots wherein to 
 deposit their spawn. As soon as they are seen on the move, notice is given by a sentinel, who is constantly 
 watching from some lofty eminence, and the whole population is at once astir, preparing nets for the capture, 
 and salt and tubs for the curing of the expected fish." 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 221 
 
 There is a perpetual struggle going on between the animals and 
 plants among these hills. The land is unenclosed, and the goats 
 and sheep search everywhere for food. Every blade of grass and 
 every herb that is green and sweet is devoured greedily by the half- 
 starved animals. Only those plants which are very rank or poisonous 
 escape. Hence the foetid hellebore is found growing with impunity 
 on every hillside and in every valley, for its flavour resembles caustic. 
 The euphorbias, for a similar reason, are not molested, and they 
 number no less than twenty-five species around Mentone. 
 
 The Mediterranean quassia {Cneonim tricoccon) and the square- 
 stemmed Corriaria, representatives of families not found in Britain, 
 are also protected by their unpleasant properties. They appear all 
 along the Corniche road, and it seems strange that, during the ages 
 they have flourished here, they have not varied as the spurges have, 
 but are confined each to a single genus and a single species. 
 
 Until Mr. Andrew Lang showed me a translation of Theocritus 
 which he had lately made, I was under the impression that the goats 
 would not eat the rank leaves of the pistacia bushes (P. terebinthus) ; 
 but, as the ancient Greek author mentions that they nibble them, 
 I watched a flock, and soon found myself corrected by an authority 
 who lived 2000 years ago. 
 
 We were not sorry when we reached San Remo, nestling among 
 olive gardens and terraces of orange, lemon, and carob trees. The 
 peaches, almonds, and pears, growing side by side with the Oriental 
 loquats, were in flower, and all round appeared spring-like and 
 beautiful. 
 
 On passing through the town towards the hotel where we proposed 
 to pass the night, the sound of many horses' hoofs fell upon our 
 ears, and presently a gay troop of cavaliers came quickly by. The 
 men had broad-brimmed hats adorned with ostrich feathers on their 
 heads, and blue silk cloaks flying in the wind behind, exposed 
 beneath red and purple jackets slashed with gold. Upon their legs 
 they wore blue tights, and jack boots armed with spurs. Each held 
 in his hand a naked sword, and appeared like Agathos, or some 
 
 R 
 
222 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 good knight one reads about, but never sees. The vision while it 
 lasted was delightful, and was, so we subsecjuently learnt, connected 
 with a masked ball, to be held in the theatre that night. After 
 parading through the town, the troop came back, and, much to my 
 satisfaction, dismounted close to where we stood. I went up to one 
 of them to see if he was really flesh and blood and not a vision, when 
 suddenly he reeled against the wall, clutched at the bricks to find 
 support, at the same time giving me a vacant stare. I looked no 
 more ; for, whatever may have been the condition of his comrades, 
 now turning into a low-roofed tavern, this man was clearly drunk. 
 Truly, I thought, here in Italy as in England, wine is not only used 
 to give a man a cheerful countenance. Nor was this opinion 
 dispelled later by the sounds of revelry, borne on the night air 
 through my open window at the hotel, from the distant low-roofed 
 tavern. 
 
 Next morning, before starting for our walk of thirty miles to 
 Alassio, we went to the railway station in order to send on our own 
 luggage, and we were met by a ragged-looking fellow, whom we 
 thought had come to beg ; but he took us into the office, wrote 
 out receipts, and did the honours of the place. In fact, as my 
 companion, who has been in Australia, remarked, he was evidently 
 " head boss " there. He presided over a bookstall also, where the 
 only publication for sale was a penny paper, illustrated with a full- 
 page engraving of a horse, labelled " Afganistan,'" kicking its heels 
 into the air, whilst its rider was sprawling in the dust below. 
 Underneath was the legend, " John Bull, Viwmo che voleva scendere 
 di sella." 
 
 Directly we were fairly on our way we had the pleasure of seeing 
 several plants which we had not seen wild before. High up among 
 the crevices of the rocks were mauve-coloured stocks, beautifully 
 conspicuous against a background of yellow, stone. Near them 
 were wild cabbages in flower clinging to the precipice, and causing 
 us to wonder how the seed could possibly have got there, and how 
 the roots found sufficient nourishment to support their numerous 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 223 
 
 yellow flowers. Lower down we saw the caper, which had not yet 
 come into flower. I recognised it at once from its resemblance to a 
 cousin which is plentiful in Indian hedgerows. The flowers of both 
 species are large and very beautiful, although the scientific names 
 given them by botanists — '^ spinosa'' and " horrida" — are not 
 inviting. My friend, Mr. G. Joad, who is very well acquainted with 
 the plants of the Riviera, tells me the European caper is most 
 diflicult to grow under glass in England, and that even at Kew its 
 
 THE CAMBERVVELL BEAUTY. 
 
 cultivation hitherto has not been attended with success. But of 
 all the flowers which the Riviera bears, none are more conspicuous 
 and beautiful than the rock roses {Cistus albidus and C. salvifolins), 
 which in many places cover the mountain side. It is said that 
 Linnaeus, on first seeing the gorse in bloom, knelt down and thanked 
 God for creating such beautiful flowers ; and visitors to Mentone 
 need not be ashamed to follow the example of the illustrious Swede 
 when they see the rock roses of the Mediterranean shores. The 
 
 R2 
 
224 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 flowers are at their best in April, and then many swallow-tailed 
 butterflies hover over them, whilst here and there may be seen the 
 Camberwell Beauty, which is hunted to the death by English 
 collectors. 
 
 A few days before we left Mentone for Genoa, I went with a 
 young lepidopterist butterfly-hunting among the hills where I had 
 
 THE SWALLOW-TAIL BUTTERFLY. 
 
 seen the first Swallow-tails of the season. Upon the road my 
 companion was in an extraordinary state of excitement, and spoke 
 of our chance of success as though the fate of nations depended 
 on our exertions ; and when, after an exciting chase, a swallow-tail 
 was caught in his net, he almost went wild with joy. He laughed 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 225 
 
 and shouted, and rolled upon the ground, starting up again and 
 again to see that the insect was really there, and that he was not 
 dreaming he had caught it. Alas ! I thought, if this youth lives as 
 many years as I have, how many moments will be as happy as 
 these passed in the capture and death of a poor butterfl}^ ? Even 
 before we returned home much of the interest of the chase had 
 passed away, and 
 
 " Our prize, so fiercely sought, 
 Had lost its charm in being caught." 
 
 After passing the small town of Port Maurice, we halted in a shady 
 grove of pines for luncheon, and here at our leisure we could 
 appreciate the scenery around. The sky was bright and clear, like 
 the most beautiful English Summer day. In a dell beneath our feet 
 thousands of bees and butterflies were hovering around the heath 
 flowers and the flowers of many other plants, the most conspicuous 
 being that representative of an order not found in Engiand, the 
 button senna {Globularia alyssum), the emerald bush spurge {Euphor- 
 bia dendroides) , wild rosemary, the prickly pea {C alycotome spinosa), 
 the red valarian, just coming into flower, with here and there, 
 beneath the pines, primroses and blue hepaticas. The ground and 
 air was quite alive with forms representing nearly every division of 
 the animal kingdom — gold-crests clinging to the branches of the 
 pines, lizards on the rocks above us, thousands of insects and other 
 creeping things in the grass below our feet. We collected in a heap 
 all the specimens we could find within a radius of six feet from where 
 we sat, and on counting them up we found forty-two shells of the 
 spiral land snail (Cyclostoma elegans), three shells of the glass snail 
 {Helix operta), one longhorn moth of the genus Adela, a large black 
 beetle {Blaps), a centipede, a locust, an egg case of the praying 
 mantis, numerous seeds of a juniper bush, and hundreds of com- 
 pass-like leaves of the Aleppo pine. Under the pine trees we saw 
 many spider orchids, which, so rare in England, are common all 
 along the Riviera ; and associated with them we found the beautiful 
 
2 26 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 yellow orchis {Ophrys lutea), and the large wood orchis (O. longi- 
 bracteatum). Several other orchids had appeared above the ground, 
 but, not having yet come into flower, we could not ascertain to what 
 species they belonged. 
 
 But of all the specimens of natural history found near the 
 Corniche road, the trapdoor spiders are the most famous. They 
 abound in every shady bank, and their curious nests, with a hinged 
 door above, are sought for by every traveller who comes that way. 
 Their history has been partly written, but much remains unknown 
 regarding their habits and domestic economy, and their reason for 
 making doors to their houses, unlike the other members of their 
 tribe. Although apparently a sluggish race, they have spread to 
 every quarter of the globe, and have representatives in Africa, 
 California, Jamaica, Australia, and India. 
 
 We had now come thirty-four miles, and the sea had been upon 
 our right below us all the way. On the left were precipices and 
 mountains, with here and there peeps of snow, which crowned the 
 distant Alps. At six o'clock we reached Alassio, as the gong of our 
 hotel was calling travellers to the table d'hote. 
 
 After dinner we visited a cafe chantant, in order to observe how 
 the Italians amused themselves by night. There were about fift}^ 
 well-dressed people in the room, listening to a comic singer who 
 was illustrating, in song, the proverb " that the course of true love 
 never did run smooth." A pert little damsel was running about, 
 distributing coffee or bock-beer, and cigars to those who smoked. 
 Next to us there sat a mollusc-looking little man, a member of the 
 race "whose heads do grow beneath their shoulders," and whom, 
 with the anthropophagi, Desdemona loved to hear about. He called 
 for beer, and when the damsel brought it, claiming the privilege of 
 an old acquaintance, he squeezed her hand. He then demanded a 
 cigar, and squeezed her hand again. He drank a little of the beer, 
 lit his cigar, and then fell fast asleep, heedless of the music and 
 noise around, and he slumbered till we left. Truly my companion 
 
THE TRAl'UOOR SPIDER. 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
 229 
 
 remarked, " Here we see that style of life beloved by the Italians, 
 and known as dolce far niente.'' 
 
 Next morning again the sun rose in a cloudless sky, and as the 
 basket which I carried the previous day would not hold all the 
 specimens which I had collected for my museum by the way, I 
 bought another of extra size ; leaving the impression, so my com- 
 
 GREEN TREE-FROG. 
 
 panion declared, that I was carrying weight and walking for a 
 wager, recalling the lines in " Johnny Gilpin," 
 
 "He carries weight, he rides a race, 
 'Tis for a thousand pounds." 
 
 Our road led through terraces of palms and olives, oranges, 
 lemons, vines and carob-bean trees, wherever cultivation was prac- 
 ticable ; and where nature was left unmolested, junipers, Spanish 
 
230 
 
 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 broom, cistus, privet, climbing asparagus, pistacia bushes, evergreen 
 oaks and pines were mingled together, engaged in a Darwinian 
 struggle for existence. Peas and beans are in full bloom, and in one 
 garden some satirical person had put up a scarecrow, in a land 
 where there are no birds to frighten. 
 
 But if there are no birds to sing among the branches of the trees, 
 their places are fully occupied by the green frogs, which all day long 
 lie concealed among the friendly-coloured leaves, and only make 
 their presence known when twilight succeeds the day ; then the 
 chorus begins, and through the length and breadth of the Riviera a 
 fearful croaking prevails, and lasts throughout the night. Thousands 
 occupy the tanks with which the country abounds, and " fiends in 
 shape of boys " may be seen catching these helpless reptiles and 
 stuffing them into their trouser pockets, either for future amusement 
 or for sale. 
 
 Soon after noon we reached Cape Noli, the most beautiful part of 
 the Corniche road. A precipice on our left rose nine hundred and 
 fifty feet straight out of the sea, and on its summit many a fierce 
 struggle is said to have taken place in days gone by between the 
 inhabitants of these shores and the Algerine pirates ; the vanquished 
 party, or at least those not required for slaves, being flung over 
 the precipice into the sea below. Here we saw for the first time the 
 beautiful red-winged creeper (Tichodroma muraria) searching for 
 insects in a small dell among the rocks, where a cascade comes 
 tumbling down the mountain side. It probably had a nest close by, 
 and whilst I was trying to find it my companion made a sketch of 
 the scene around, although. his most brilliant colours paled before 
 those of nature, for the rocks reflected indigo, purple, and Naples 
 yellow, with mauve-coloured stocks scattered here and there in 
 company with emerald-coloured spurges. The sky above was 
 cobalt blue, whilst the sea reflected sparkling ultramarine below. 
 Nor did the beauty of the landscape suffer when an express train 
 issued from a tunnel in the rock, sending up a cloud of pure white 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 231 
 
 smoke, which in the still air floated slowly across the precipice and 
 vanished out at sea. 
 
 Six hundred feet above us, a pair of Alpine swifts were darting 
 to and fro, selecting a convenient place, secure and dry, in which to 
 build their nest. Their white throats were distinctly visible as we 
 stood below, and we wondered if they appreciated the scenery 
 around, or whether it passed unnoticed. We also wondered what 
 they thought of us from their Agapemone up there. Did they envy 
 us, the lords of creation ; or, as they could only see the crowns 
 of our hats, did they rank us as black wingless beetles moving 
 tediously along ? This wonderfully beautiful spot appears almost 
 deserted. We saw no signs of anyone along the road, and on the 
 shore below a solitary angler was fishing from the rocks. Truly, I 
 thought, as I watched this man, your lines are cast in pleasant 
 places ; but probably he also cared far less for the beauty of the 
 place than its ability to supply him with his daily food. 
 
 There are several large caves close by, which were used by men 
 in former days, when house-building was unknown. We climbed 
 up with difficulty into one of them, which was nearly filled by a 
 tremendous rock, fallen from the roof above, and almost hidden 
 by masses of maidenhair ferns. There was another cave a 
 hundred feet above us, inaccessible from below ; but, as there is a 
 great hole admitting daylight through the roof, it could probably be 
 entered with the aid of a rope ladder from above. Those who study 
 man's early history would doubtless find many of his relics there. 
 The only present tenant we could see was a blackstart {Ruticilla 
 tithys), which had left its pure white eggs, to watch us with jealous 
 eyes so long as we remained in sight. 
 
 All along our route the rocks have been laid bare by the workmen 
 who made the road, and the geologist may study the various forma- 
 tions at his leisure. Limestone predominates, and when burnt in 
 furnaces it produces the purest lime known to builders. The water 
 trickling through it has also cemented together vast beds of pebbles, 
 which in ages past formed the shores of primeval seas, kept in 
 
232 A SKETCH OF THE 
 
 constant agitation by the waves and which, so we are told, were 
 trodden by strange forms — lizards, of which the crocodiles of Egypt 
 and India are the puny descendants, by mammoths, and perhaps 
 by man, armed with clubs and weapons tipped with flint, to battle 
 with the beasts around. These pebbly shores in time were covered 
 over by many thousand feet of earth and rock, and have remained 
 buried in the ground for ages. Here and there, however, along the 
 Corniche road they crop out, and in some places large blocks of the 
 conglomerate, or pudding stone, have fallen into the sea. Like Rip 
 van Winkle, the pebbles have started into life again, and, after so 
 many ages of repose, they may be seen rolled to and fro again by 
 the restless sea. Whilst they have been lying underground many 
 changes have taken place overhead ; not only 
 
 " The Roman Empire has begun and ended," 
 
 but the animal and vegetable kingdoms, if geologists are right, have 
 almost entirely changed. 
 
 Near Savona we found a bed of coarse asbestos or actinolite 
 undistinguishable from specimens which I have from my district in 
 Bengal, and we passed many beds of gritless gault, which would 
 probably repay exportation to England for the manufacture of 
 Portland cement. 
 
 Soon after noon we stopped for luncheon at a small roadside inn. 
 A man who was breaking stones by the roadside was singing " Vien 
 quay Dorina bella" and white and red camellias were growing near 
 the door. Peasants basking in the sun were drinking purple wine, 
 and our host congratulated us on our well-timed arrival, ; for, as he 
 and his family were on the point of sitting down to dinner, he 
 proposed that we should satisfy our hunger first. We needed no 
 second bidding to the feast, and followed our entertainer to his 
 sleeping chamber, where he gave us hot water to wash our hands, 
 telling us a long story — very little of which we understood — about 
 some honour he had received from Garibaldi. The room to which 
 he led us was almost destitute of furniture. In one corner was a 
 
NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 233 
 
 bed, and on the floor close by a cartload of olives lay heaped together ; 
 whilst several hundredweight of potatoes were stored about the 
 room. There were many pictures of saints upon the walls, and clay 
 images put wherever they could stand, reminding us of a Bengali's 
 house in India. But, whatever deficiency there may have been in 
 the furniture of the inn, we found no cause to complain of the 
 repast which followed ; nor was the reckoning high, being the 
 equivalent of half-a-crown for both of us, including a bottle of 
 what we thought very excellent wine. 
 
 Among the plants which we noticed by the way was the wig tree 
 {Rhus cotinus), well known in English shrubberies. Its hairy, 
 flowering branches are very conspicuous among the surrounding 
 green foliage, and no one could pass it unnoticed. The daphnes and 
 privets of English gardens are also seen here in great abundance ; 
 and in a sandy glen we found the curious prickly bean-caper 
 {Tribulus terrestris), which comes very near a common Indian weed 
 whose prickles even elephants are said to dread. By the time we 
 reached Savona the sun had set, and our basket was full of 
 plants, many of which would be marked as prizes by English 
 botanists. 
 
 Our walk hitherto had been so pleasant, that with some feelings 
 of regret we left Savona next morning, with the thought that our 
 journey would come to an end that night. The flowers were daily 
 becoming more abundant and conspicuous, and butterflies and 
 insects of every kind and hue were starting into life. But the sun 
 which sustained them was getting very hot, and reminded us of 
 India and Australia. On reaching Voltri we were not sorry to find 
 a Diligence was waiting to carry us over the last eight miles of the 
 road, which runs through the outskirts of Genoa, and which is walled 
 on both sides by houses. The outside places were all taken when 
 we arrived, but the two men sitting on the box were persuaded to 
 travel like gentlefolk inside, and give up their plebeian seats to us 
 who wished to see as much of the country as we could, and then we 
 rattled merrily along. Our coachman reminded us of the elder 
 
234 NATURAL HISTORY OF THE RIVIERA. 
 
 Weller, not only in figure, but also in his having a few sweet words 
 to say to nearly everyone, particularly the females that we met. 
 We also shared his smiles : for on our paying our fare, one paper 
 franc apiece, we presented him with an equal sum for himself; and, 
 judging from the thanks he gave us, we concluded that he had never 
 received such a tip before. 
 
 We reached our hotel as the evening shades were falling, and we 
 both expressed the hope that at no distant day we might again 
 be able to go over the beautiful Corniche road between Nice and 
 Genoa. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
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