.fl—^^.. AN "D RASTER DAY ROBERT BROWNING. t57 Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2008 with funding from IVIicrosoft Corporation http://www.archive.org/details/christmaseveeastOObrowrich CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Just Published, THE POETICAL WORKS OF ROBERT BROWNING. A new edition, with numerous Alterations and Additions. Two volumes, foolscap 8vo, cloth, 16s. 'MISS BARRETT'S' POEMS. In the Press, a New Edition of THE POETICAL WORKS OF ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING. In two volumes, foolscap 8vo. CHRISTMAS-EVE EASTER-DAY. a ^oem* By EGBERT BROWNING. LONDON : CHAPMAN ik HALL, 186, STRAND. 1850. LONDON : ANn KVAN9, PR1.NTKB8, WHITKFRIARS. CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. I. Out of the little chapel I burst Into the fresh night air again. I had waited a good five minutes first In the doorway, to escape the rain That drove in gusts down the conunon^s centre, At the edge of which the chapel stands, Before I plucked up heart to enter ; Heaven knows how many sorts of hands Reached past me, groping for the latch Of the inner jioor that hung on catch. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. More obstinate the more they fambled, Till, giving way at last with a scold Of the crazy hinge, in squeezed or tumbled One sheep more to the rest in fold. And left me irresolute, standing sentry In the sheepfold^s lath-and-plaster entry. Four feet long by two feet wide. Partitioned off from the vast inside — I blocked up half of it at least. No remedy ; the rain kept driving : They eyed me much as some wild beast. That congregation, still arriving. Some of them by the mainroad, white A long way past me into the night. Skirting the common, then diverging ; Not a few suddenly emerging From the common^s self thro^ the paling-gaps,- — ^They house in the gravel-pits perhaps. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEU-DAY. 5 Where the road stops short with its safeguard border Of lamps, as tired of such disorder ; — But the most turned in yet more abruptly Prom a certain squalid knot of alleys. Where the town'^s bad blood once slept corruptly, Wliich now the little chapel rallies And leads into day again, — ^its priestliness Lending itseK to hide their beastliness So cleverly (thanks in part to the mason). And putting so cheery a whitewashed face on. Those neophytes too much in lack of it. That, where you cross the common as I did. And meet the party thus presided, '^ Mount Zion,^^ with Love-lane at the back of it. They front you as Httle disconcerted. As, bound for the hills, her fate averted And her wicked people made to mind him, Lot might have marched with Gomorrah behind liim. b2 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Well, from the road_, the lanes or the common. In came the flock : the fat weary woman, Panting and bewildered, down-clapping Her umbrella with a mighty report. Grounded it by me, wry and flapping, A wreck of whalebones ; then, with a snort. Like a startled horse, at the interloper Who humbly knew himseK improper. But could not shrink up small enough, Round to the door, and in, — ^the gruff Hinge^s invariable scold Making your very blood run cold. Prompt in the wake of her, up-pattered On broken clogs, the many-tattered Little old-faced, peaking sister-tumed-mother Of the sickly babe she tried to smother CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 5 Somehow up, with its spotted face, Erom the cold, on her breast, the one warm place ; She too must stop, wring the poor suds dry Of a draggled shawl, and add thereby Her tribute to the door-mat, sopping Already from my own clothes^ dropping. Which yet she seemed to grudge I should stand on ; Then stooping down to take off her pattens. She bore them defiantly, in each hand one. Planted together before her breast And its babe, as good as a lance in rest. Close on her heels, the dingy satins Of a female something, past me flitted. With lips as much too white, as a streak Lay far too red on 6ach hollow cheek ; And it seemed the very door-hinge pitied All that was left of a woman once. Holding at least its tongue for the nonce. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Then a tall yellow man, like the Penitent Thief, With his jaw bound up in a handkerchief. And eyelids screwed together tight, Led himseK in by some inner light. And, except from him, from each that entered, I had the same interrogation — " What, you, the alien, you have ventured '^ To take with us, elect, your station ? ^^ A carer for none of it, a Gallio ? '' — Thus, plain as print, I read the glance At a common prey, in each countenance. As of huntsman giving his hounds the tallyho : And, when the door^s cry drowned their wonder. The draught, it always sent in shutting. Made the flame of the single lallow candle In the cracked square lanthorn I stood under. Shoot its blue lip at me, rebutting. As it were, the luckless cause of scandal : CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. / 1 verily thought the zealous Ught (In the chapelts secret, too !) for spite, Would shudder itself clean off the wick. With the airs of a St. John^s Candlestick. There was no standing it much longer. '' Good folks/^ said I, as resolve grew stronger, ^^ This way you perform the Grand-Inquisitor, " When the weather sends you a chance visitor ? '' You are the men, and wisdom shall die with you, " And none of the old Seven Churches vie with you ! '' But still, despite the pretty perfection " To which you carry your trick of exclusiveness, " And, taking God^s word under wise protection, " Correct its tendency to diffusiveness, '' Bidding one reach it over hot ploughshares, — "Still, as I say, though youVe found salvation, " If I should choose to cry — as now — ^ Shares ! ' — " See if the best of you bars me my ration ! 5 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " Because I prefer for my expounder " Of the laws of the feast, the feast^s own Founder : ^^ Miners the same right with your poorest and sickliesi, " Supposing I don the marriage-vestiment ; " So, shut your mouth, and open your Testament, i " And carve me my portion at your quickliest ! " ' Accordingly, as a shoemaker^s lad With wizened face in want of soap, And wet apron wound round his waist like a rope. After stopping outside, for his cough was bad. To get the fit over, poor gentle creature. And so avoid disturbing the preacher. Passed in, I sent my elbow spikewise At the shutting door, and entered likewise, — Eeceived the hinge^s accustomed greeting. Crossed the threshold's magic pentacle. And found myseK in full conventicle, — ^To wit, in Zion Chapel Meeting, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. On the Christmas-Eve of ^rorty-nine. Which, calling its flock to their special clover, Fonnd them assembled and one sheep over. Whose lot, as the weather pleased, was mine. III. I very soon had enough of it. The hot smell and the human noises. And my neighbour's coat, the greasy cuff of it. Were a pebble-stone that a child's hand poises, Compared with the pig-of-lead-like pressure Of the preaching-man's immense stupidity. As he poured his doctrine forth, full measure. To meet his audience's avidity. You needed not the wit of the Sybil To guess the cause of it all, in a twinkling — No sooner had our friend an inkling Of treasure hid in the Holy Bible, 10 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. (Whenever it was the thought first struck him How Death, at unawares, might duck him Deeper than the grave, and quench The gin-shop^s light in Hell's grim drench) Than he handled it so, in fine irreverence. As to hug the Book of books to pieces : And, a patchwork of chapters and texts in severance, Not improved by the private dog's-ears and creases, Having clothed his own soul with, he'd fain see equipt yours,- So tossed you again your Holy Scriptures. And you picked them up, in a sense, no doubt : Nay, had but a single face of my neighbours Appeared to suspect that the preacher's labours Were help which the world could be saved without, 'Tis odds but I had borne in quiet A qualm or two at my spiritual diet ; Or, who can tell P had even mustered Somewhat to urge in behalf of the sermon : CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 11 But the flock sate on, divinely flustered, Snifiing, metliought, its dew of Hermon With such content in every snuifie, As the devil inside us loves to ruflle. My old fat woman purred with pleasure, And thumb round thumb went twirling faster, While she, to his periods keeping measure, Maternally devoured the pastor. The man with the handkerchief, untied it. Showed us a horrible wen inside it. Gave his eyelids yet another screwing. And rocked himseK as the woman was doing. The shoemaker^s lad, discreetly choking. Kept down his cough. ^Twas too provoking ! My gorge rose at the nonsense and stuff of it. And saying, like Eve when she plucked the apple, " I wanted a taste, and now there ^s enough of it,^^ I flung out of the little chapel. 12 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY, There was a lull in the rain, a lull In the wind too ; the moon was risen, And would have shone out pure and full. But for the ramparted cloud-prison. Block on block built up in the west. For what purpose the wind knows best, Who changes his mind continually. And the empty other half of the sky Seemed in its silence as if it knew "What, any moment, might look through A chance-gap in that fortress massy : — Through its fissures you got hints Of the flying moon, by the shifting tints. Now, a dull lion-colour, now, brassy Burning to yellow, and whitest yellow, Like furnace-smoke just ere the flames beUow, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 13 All a-siminer with intense strain To let her through^ — ^then blank again, At the hope of her appearance failing. Just by the chapel, a break in the raihng Shows a narrow path directly across ; ^Tis ever dry walking there, on the moss — Besides, yon go gently all the way uphill : I stooped under and soon felt better : My head grew light, my hmbs more supple, As I walked on, glad to have slipt the fetter ; My mind was fuU of the scene I had left. That placid flock, that pastor vociferant, — How this outside was pure and different ! The sermon, now — ^what a mingled weft Of good and ill ! were either less. Its feUow had coloured the whole distinctly ; But alas for the excellent earnestness. And the truths, quite true if stated succinctly. 14 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. But as surely false, in their quaint presentment. However to pastor and flock^s contentment ! Say rather, such truths looked false to your eyes. With his provings and parallels twisted and twined. Till how could you know them, grown double their size, In the natural fog of the good man^s mind ? Like yonder spots of our roadside lamps. Haloed about with the common^s damps. Truth remains true, the fault.^s in the prover ; The zeal was good, and the aspiration ; And yet, and yet, yet, fifty times over, Pharaoh received no demonstration By his Baker^s dream of Baskets Three, Of the doctrine of the Trinity, — Although, as our preacher thus embellished it. Apparently his hearers relished it With so imfeigned a gust — who knows if They did not prefer our friend to Joseph ? CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 15 But SO it is everywhere, one way with all of them ! These people have really felt, no doubt, A sometliing, the motion they style the Call of them ; And this is their method of bringing about. By a mechanism of words and tones, (So many texts in so many groans) A sort of reviving or reproducing, More or less perfectly, (who can tell ? — ) Of the mood itself, that strengthens by using ; And how it happens, I understand well. A tune was bom in my head last week. Out of the thump-thump and shriek-shriek Of the train, as I came by it, up from Manchester ; And when, next week, I take it back again. My head will sing to the engine^s clack again, Wliile it only makes my neighbour's haunches stir, — Finding no dormant musical sprout In him, as in me, to be jolted out. 16 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ^Tis the taught aheady that profit by teaching ; He gets no more from the raflwa/s preaching, Than^ from this preacher who does the raU^s office, I, Whom therefore the flock casts a jealous eye on* Still, why paint over their door " Mount Zion/^ To which all flesh shall come, saith the prophecy ? But wherefore be harsh on a single case ? After how many modes, this Christmas-Eve, Does the selfsame weary thing take place ? The same endeavour to make you believe. And much with the same effect, no more : Each method abundantly convincing. As I say, to those convinced before. But scarce to be swallowed without wincing, By the not-as-yet-convinced. Eor me, I have my own church equally. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 17 And in this church my faith sprang first ! (I said, as I reached the rising ground, And the wind began again, with a burst Of rain in my face, and a glad rebound From the heart beneath, as if, God speeding me, I entered His church-door. Nature leading me) — In youth I looked to these very skies. And probing their immensities, I found God there. His visible power ; Yet felt in my heart, amid aU its sense Of that power, an equal evidence That His love, there too, was the nobler dower. For the loving worm witliin its clod. Were diviner than a loveless god Amid his worlds, I wiU dare to say. You know what I mean : God^s all, mane's nought : But also, God, whose pleasure brought Man into being, stands away 18 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. As it were, an handbreadth off, to give Room for the newly-made to live. And look at Him from a place apart, And use His gifts of brain and heart. Given, indeed, but to keep for ever. Who speaks of man, then, must not sever Man^s very elements from man. Saying, '^ But aU is God's '^ — ^whose plan Was to create man and then leave him Able, His own word saith, to grieve Him, But able to glorify Him too. As a mere machine could never do, That prayed or praised, all unaware Of its jBltness for aught but praise and prayer. Made perfect as a thing of course. Man, therefore, stands on his own stock Of love and power as a pin-point rock. And, looking to God who ordained divorce CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 19 Of the rock from His boundless continent. Sees in His Power made evident, Only excess by a million fold O^er the power God gave man in the mould. For, see ; Man^s hand, first formed to carry A few pounds^ weight, when taught to marry Its strength with an engine^ s, Hfts a mountain, — Advancing in power by one degree ; And why count steps through eternity ? But Love is the ever springing fountain : Man may enlarge or narrow his bed For the water^s play, but the water head- — How can he multiply or reduce it ? As easy create it, as cause it to cease : He may profit by it, or abuse it ; But ^tis not a thing to bear increase As power will : be love less or more In the heart of man, he keeps it shut c2 20 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Or opes it wide as he pleases, but Lovers sum remains what it was before. So, gazing up, in my youth, at love As seen through power, ever above All modes wliich make it manifest. My soul brought all to a single test — That He, the Eternal First and Last, Who, in His power, had so surpassed All man conceives of what is might, — Whose wisdom, too, showed infinite, — Would prove as infinitely good ; Would never, my soul understood. With power to work all love desires. Bestow e^en less than man requires : That He who endlessly was teacliing. Above my spirit^s utmost reaching, What love can do in the leaf or stone, (So that to master this alone. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 21 This done in the stone or leaf for me^ I must go on learning endlessly) Would never need that I^ in turn, Should point him out a defect unheeded. And show that God had yet to learn What the meanest human creature needed, — — Not life, to wit, for a few short years. Tracking His way through doubts and fears. While the stupid earth on which I stay Suffers no change, but passive adds Its myriad years to myriads. Though I, He gave it to, decay. Seeing death come and choose about me. And my dearest ones depart without me. No ! love which, on earth, amid all the shows of it. Has ever been seen the sole good of life in it. The love, ever growing there, spite of the strife in it. Shall arise, made perfect, from death^s repose of it ! 22 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. And I shall behold Thee^ face to face, God, and in Thy light retrace How in all I loved here, still wast Thon ! Wliom pressing to, then, as I fain would now, 1 shall find as able to satiate The love. Thy gift, as my spirit^s wonder Thou art able to quicken and sublimate. With this sky of Thine, that I now walk under. And glory in Thee as thus I gaze, — ^Thus, thus ! oh, let men keep their ways Of seeking Thee in a narrow shrine — Be this my way ! And this is mine ! For lo, what think you ? suddenly The rain and the wind ceased, and the sky Received at once the full fruition Of the moon's consummate apparition. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. 23 The black cloud-barricade was riven, Euined beneath her feet, and driven Deep in the west ; while, bare and breathless, North and south and east lay ready For a glorious Thing, that, dauntless, deathless. Sprang across them, and stood steady. ^Twas a moon-rainbow, vast and perfect, "From heaven to heaven extending, perfect As the mother-moon^s self, full in face. It rose, distinctly at the base With its seven proper colours chorded. Which still, in the rising, were compressed. Until at last they coalesced. And supreme the spectral creature lorded In a triumph of whitest white, — Above which intervened the night. But above night too, like the next. The second of a wondrous sequence. 24 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. Eeaching in rare and rarer frequence. Till the heaven of heavens be circmnflext. Another rainbow rose, a mightier. Fainter, flushier, and flightier, — Rapture dying along its verge ! Oh, whose foot shall I see emerge. Whose, from the straining topmost dark. On to the keystone of that arc ? VII. This sight was shown me, there and then,- Me, one out of a world of men. Singled forth, as the chance might hap To another, if in a thunderclap Where I heard noise, and you saw flame, Some one man knew God called liis name. For me, I think I said, ^^ Appear ! " Good were it to be ever here. CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DxiY. 25 '' If Thou wHt, let me build to Thee " Service-tabernacles Three, " Where, for ever in Thy presence, " In extatic acquiescence, " Far alike from thriftless learning ^^ And ignorance^s undiscerning, ^^ I may worship and remain ! '' Thus, at the show above me, gazing With upturned eyes, I felt my brain Glutted with the glory, blazing Throughout its whole mass, over and under. Until at length it burst asunder. And out of it bodily there streamed The too-much glory, as it seemed. Passing from out me to the ground. Then palely serpentining round Into the dark with mazy error. 26 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. VIII. All at once I looked up with terror. He was there. He HimseK with His human air, On the narrow pathway, just before : I saw the back of Him, no more — He had left the chapel, then, as I. I forgot all about the sky. No face : only the sight Of a sweepy Garment, vast and wliite. With a hem that I could recognise. I felt terror, no surprise : My mind filled with the cataract. At one bound, of the mighty fact. I remembered. He did say Doubtless, that, to this world^s end. Where two or three should meet and pray, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. '27 He would be in the midst, their Friend : Certainly He was there with them. And my pulses leaped for joy Of the golden thought without alloy. That I saw His very Yesture^s hem. Then rushed the blood back, cold and clear With a fresh enhancing shiver of fear. And I hastened, cried out while I pressed To the salvation of the Vest, ^^ But not so, Lord ! It cannot be '' That Thou, indeed, art leaving me — " Me, that have despised Thy friends. '' Did my heart make no amends ? '^ Thou art the Love of God — above ^^ His Power, didst hear me place His Love, " And that was leaving the world for Thee ! ^^ Therefore Thou must not turn from me '' As if I had chosen the other part. 28 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ^^ Folly and pride overcame my heart. '^ Our best is bad, nor bears Thy test ; ^' Still it should be our very best. ^^ I thought it best that Thou, the Spirit, " Be worshipped in spirit and in truth, " And in beauty, as even we require it — '^ Not in the forms burlesque, uncouth, '^ I left but now, as scarcely fitted ^' For Thee : I knew not what I pitied : ^' But, all I felt there, right or wrong, " What is it to Thee, who curest sinning ? ^^ Am I not weak as Thou art strong ? '' I have looked to Thee from the beginning, ^^ Straight up to Thee through all the world '^ Which, like an idle scroll, lay furled " To notliingness on either side : '^ And since the time Thou wast descried, " Spite of the weak heart, so have I CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEK-DAY. 29 " Lived ever, and so fain would die, ^^ Living and dying, Thee before ! " But if Thou leavest me— '^ Less or more, I suppose that I spoke thus. When, — have mercy, Lord, on us ! The whole Face turned upon me full. And I spread myself beneath it. As when the bleacher spreads, to seethe it In the cleansing sun, his wool, — Steeps in the flood of noontide wliiteness Some defiled, discoloured web — So lay I, saturate with brightness. And when the flood appeared to ebb, Lo, I was walking, light and swift. With my senses settling fast and steadying. 30 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Bat my body caught up in the whirl and drift Of the Vesture^s amplitude, still eddying On, just before me, still to be followed. As it carried me after with its motion : What shall I say ? — as a path were hollowed And a man went weltering through the ocean, Sucked along in the flying wake Of the luminous water-snake. Darkness and cold were cloven, as through I passed, upborne yet walking too. And I turned to myseK at intervals, — '^ So He said, and so it befals. '^ God who registers the cup " Of mere cold water, for His sake " To a disciple rendered up, " Disdains not His own thirst to slake " At the poorest love was ever offered : " And because it was my heart I proffered. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 31 '' With true love trembling at the brim, '' He suffers me to follow Him '' For ever, my own way, — dispensed '^ From seeking to be influenced '' By all the less immediate ways ^' That earth, in worships manifold, '^ Adopts to reach, by prayer and praise, ''The Garment's hem, which, lo, I hold V And so we crossed the world and stopped. For where am I, in city or plain, Since I am Vare of the world again ? And what is this that rises propped With pillars of prodigious girth ? Is it really on the earth. This miraculous Dome of God ? Has the angel's measuring-rod 32 CHUISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Which nmnbered cubits, gem from gem, ^Twixt the gates of the New Jerusalem, Meted it out, — and what he meted. Have the sons of men completed ? — Binding, ever as he bade. Columns in this colonnade With arms wide open to embrace The entry of the human race To the breast of . . . what is it, yon building, Ablaze in front, all paint and gilding, With marble for brick, and stones of price For garniture of the edifice ? Now I see : it is no dream : It stands there and it does not seem ; For ever, in pictures, thus it looks. And thus I have read of it in books, Often in England, leagues away. And wondered how those fountains play, CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 33 Growing up eternally Each to a musical water-tree, Whose blossoms drop, a glittering boon, Before my eyes, in the light of the moon. To the granite lavers underneath. Liar and dreamer in your teeth ! I, the sinner that speak to you. Was in Eome this night, and stood, and knew Both this and more ! For see, for see. The dark is rent, mine eye is free To pierce the crust of the outer wall. And I view inside, and all there, all. As the swarming hollow of a hive. The whole BasiHca alive ! Men in the chancel, body, and nave, Men on the pillars^ architrave. Men on the statues, men on the tombs With popes and kings in their porphyry wombs, 34 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. All famishing in expectation Of the main-altar^s consmnmation. For see, for see, the rapturous moment Approaches, and earth^s best endowment Blends with heaven^s : the taper-fires Pant up, the winding brazen spires Heave loftier yet the baldachin ; The incense-gaspings, long kept in, Suspire in clouds ; the organ blatant Holds his breath and grovels latent. As if God's hushing finger grazed him, (Like Behemoth when He praised him) At the silver belFs shrill tinkling. Quick cold drops of terror sprinkling On the sudden pavement strewed With faces of the multitude. Earth breaks up, time drops away. In flows heaven, with its new day CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 35 Of endless life, when He who trod, Yery Man and very God, This earth in weakness, shame and pain. Dying the death whose signs remain Up yonder on the accursed tree, — Shall come again, no more to be Of captivity the thrall. But the one God, all in all. King of kings, and Lord of lords, As His servant John received the words, " I died, and Kve for evermore ! '' XI. Yet I was left outside the door. Why sate I there on the threshold-stone. Left till He returns, alone Save for the Garment's extreme fold Abandoned still to bless my hold ? — d2 36 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. My reason, to my doubt, replied, As if a book were opened wide, And at a certain page I traced Every record iindefaced. Added by successive years, — The harvestings of truth's stray ears Singly gleaned, and in one sheaf Bound together for belief. Yes, I said — ^that He will go And sit with these in turn, 1 know. Their faith's heart beats, though her head swims Too giddily to guide her limbs. Disabled by their palsy-stroke Prom propping me. Though Rome's gross yoke Drops off, no more to be endured. Her teaching is not so obscured By errors and perversities. That no truth shines athwart the lies : CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 37 And He, whose eye detects a spark Even where, to man^s, the whole seems dark, May well see flame where each beholder Acknowledges the embers smoulder. But I, a mere man, fear to quit The clue God gave me as most fit To guide my footsteps through lifers maze. Because Himself discerns all ways Open to reach Him : I, a man He gave to mark where faith began To swerve aside, till from its summit Judgment drops her damning plummet. Pronouncing such a fatal space Departed from the Founder^s base : He will not bid me enter too. But rather sit, as now I do. Awaiting His return outside. — ^Twas thus my reason straight replied, 38 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. And joyously I turned^ and pressed The Garment^s skirt upon my breast, Until, afresh its light suiFasing me, My heart cried, — what has been abusing me That I should wait here lonely and coldly, Instead of rising, entering boldly. Baring truth's face, and letting drift Her veils of lies as they choose to shift ? Do these men praise Him ? I will raise My voice up to their point of praise ! I see the error ; but above The scope of error, see the love — Oh, love of those first Christian days ! — Panned so soon into a blaze, Prom the spark preserved by tlie trampled sect, That the antique sovereign Intellect Which then sate ruling in the world, Ijike a change in dreams, was hurled CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 39 From the throne he reigned upon : - — You looked up^ and he was gone ! Gone, his glory of the pen ! — Love, with Greece and Eome in ken. Bade her scribes abhor the trick Of poetry and rhetoric. And exult, with hearts set free. In blessed imbecility Scrawled, perchance, on some torn sheet, Leaving Livy incomplete. Gone, his pride of sculptor, painter ! — Love, while able to acquaint her With the thousand statues yet Fresh from chisel, pictures wet From brush, she saw on every side. Chose rather with an infantas pride To frame those portents which impart Such unction to true Christian Art. 40 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. Gone^ Music too ! The air was stirred By happy wings : Terpander^s bird (That^ when the cold came, fled away) Would tarry not the wintry day, — As more-enduring sculpture must. Till a filthy saint rebuked the gust With which he chanced to get a sight Of some dear naked Aphrodite He glanced a thought above the toes of, By breaking zealously her nose off. Love, surely, from that music^s lingering. Might have filched her organ-fiingering. Nor chose rather to set prayings To hog-grunts, praises to horse-neighings. Love was the startling thing, the new ; Love was the all-sufficient too ; And seeing that, you see the rest. As a babe can find its mother^s breast CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 41 As well in darkness as in Hght^ Love shut OUT eyes, and aU seemed right. True, the world^s eyes are open now : — ^Less need for me to disallow Some few that keep Love's zone unbuckled, Peevish as ever to be suckled. Lulled by the same old baby-prattle With intermixture of the rattle. When she would have them creep, stand steady Upon their feet, or walk already. Not to speak of trying to cHmb. I win be wise another time. And not desire a wall between us. When next I see a church-roof cover So many species of one genus. All with foreheads bearing Lover Written above the earnest eyes of them ; All with breasts that beat for beauty. 42 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER- DAY. Whether sublimed, to the surprise of them^ In noble daring, stedfast duty. The heroic in passion, or in action, — Or, lowered for the senses^ satisfaction. To the mere outside of human creatures. Mere perfect form and faultless features. What ! with all Eome here, whence to levy- Such contributions to their appetite. With women and men in a gorgeous bevy. They take, as it were, a padlock, and clap it tight On their southern eyes, restrained from feeding On the glories of their ancient reading, On the beauties of their modem singing, On the wonders of the builder's bringing. On the majesties of Art around them, — And, all these loves, late struggling incessant. When faith has at last united and bound them. They offer up to God for a present ! CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 43 Wliy, I will, on the whole, be rather proud of it, — And, only taking the act in reference To the other recipients who might have allowed of it, I will rejoice that God had the preference ! So I summed up my new resolves : Too much love there can never be. And where the intellect devolves Its function on love exclusively, I, as one who possesses both. Will accept the provision, nothing loth, — Will feast my love, then depart elsewhere, That my intellect may find its share. And ponder, O soul, the while thou departest. And see thou applaud the great heart of the artist. Who, examining the capabihties 44 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Of the block of marble he has to fashion Into a type of thought or passion, — Not always, using obvious facilities. Shapes it, as any artist can, Into a perfect symmetrical man. Complete from head to foot of the life-size. Such as old Adam stood in his wife^s eyes, — But, now and then, bravely aspires to consummate A Colossus by no means so easy to come at. And uses the whole of his block for the bust, Leaving the minds of the public to finish it. Since cut it ruefully short he must : On the face alone he expends his devotion ; He rather would mar than resolve to diminish it, — Saying, " Applaud me for this grand notion ^^ Of what a face may be I As for completing it " In breast and body and limbs, do that, you ! " All hail ! I fancy how, happily meeting it, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 45 A trunk and legs would perfect the statue, Could man carve so as to answer volition. And how much nobler than petty cavils, A hope to find, in my spirit-travels. Some artist of another ambition, Who having a block to carve, no bigger. Has spent his power on the opposite quest, And beUeved to begin at the feet was best — For so may I see, ere I die, the whole figure ! No sooner said than out in the night ! • And stiU as we swept through storm and night, My heart beat lighter and more light : And lo, as before, I was walking swift. With my senses settling fast and steadying. But my body caught up in the whirl and drift b CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Of the Vestiire^s amplitude, still eddying On just before me, still to be followed. As it carried me after with its motion, — ^What shall I say ? — as a path were hollowed. And a man went weltering through the ocean. Sucked along in the flying wake Of the luminous water-snake. Alone ! I am left alone once more — (Save for the Garment^ s extreme fold Abandoned still to bless my hold) Alone, beside the entrance-door Of a sort of temple, — perhaps a college, — ^Like nothing I ever saw before At home in England, to my knowledge. The tall, old, quaint, irregular town ! CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 47 It may be . • though which, I canH affirm . . any Of the famous middle-age towns of Germany ; And tliis flight of stairs where I sit down. Is it Halle, Weimar, Cassel, or Frankfort, Or Gottingen, that I have to thank for ^t ? It may be Gottingen, — ^most likely. Through the open door I catch obKquely Glimpses of a lectuxe-haU ; And not a bad assembly neither — Eanged decent and symmetrical On benches, waiting what ^s to see there ; Which, holding still by the Vesture^s hem, I also resolve to see with them. Cautious this time how I suffer to slip The cliance of joining in fellowship With any th^t call themselves His friends. As these folks do, I have a notion. But hist — a buzzing and emotion ! 48 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. All settle themselves, the while ascenxis By the creaking rail to the lecture-desk. Step by step, deUberate Because of his cranium^s over-freight. Three parts sublime to one grotesque. If I have proved an accurate guesser. The hawk-nosed, high-cheek-boned Professor. I felt at once as if there ran A shoot of love from my heart to the man — That sallow, virgin-minded, studious Martyr to mild enthusiasm, As he uttered a kind of cough-preludious That woke my sympathetic spasm, (Beside some spitting that made me sorry) And stood, surveying his auditory With a wan pure look, well nigh celestial, — — ^Those blue eyes had survived so much ! While, under the foot they could not smutch, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 49 Lay all the fleshly and the bestial. Over he bowed, and arranged his notes, Till the auditor/s clearing of throats Was done with, died into a silence ; And, when each glance was upward sent. Each bearded mouth composed intent, And a pin might be heard drop half a mile hence, — He pushed back higher his spectacles. Let the eyes stream out like lamps from cells. And giving his head of hair — a hake Of undressed tow, for color and quantity — One rapid and impatient shake, (As our own young England adjusts a jaunty tie Wlien about to impart, on mature digestion. Some thrilling view of the surpHce-queition) — The Professor^s grave voice, sweet though hoarse. Broke into his Christmas-Eve^s discourse. 50 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. XV. And he began it by observing How reason dictated that men Should rectify the natural swerving, By a reversion, now and then. To the well-heads of knowledge, few And far away, whence rolling grew The life-stream wide whereat we drink. Commingled, as we needs must think, With waters alien to the source : To do which, aimed this Eve^s discourse. Since, where could be a fitter time For tracing backward to its prime. This Christianity, this lake. This reservoir, .wheieat we slake, From one or other b,a#:Jl:..Q^? thlr&t ? So he proposed inquiring first CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 51 Into the various sources whence This Myth of Christ is derivable ; Demanding from the evidence, (Since plainly no such life was Hveable) How these phenomena should class ? Whether ^twere best opine Christ was. Or never was at all, or whether He was and was not, both together — It matters little for the name, So the Idea be left the same : Only, for practical purpose^ sake, 'Twas obviously as well to take The popular story, — ^understanding How the ineptitude of the time. And the pemnan^s prejudice, expanding Pact into fable fit for the chme. Had, by slow and sure degrees, translated it Into this myth, tliis Individuum, — e2 52 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Which, when reason had strained and abated it Of foreign matter, gave, for residuum, A Man ! — a right true man, however. Whose work was worthy a man^s endeavour ! Work, that gave warrant ahnost sufficient To his disciples, for rather believing He was just omnipotent and omniscient. As it gives to us, for as frankly receiving His word, their tradition, — ^which, though it meant Something entirely different Trom all that those who only heard it. In their simplicity thought and averred it. Had yet a meaning quite as respectable : For, among other doctrines delectable. Was he not surely the first to insist on, The natural sovereignty of our race ? — Here the lecturer came to a pausing-place. And while his cough, like a drouthy piston. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 53 Tried to dislodge the husk that grew to him, I seized the occasion of bidding adieu to him. The Vesture still within my hand. I could interpret its command. This time He would not bid me enter The exhausted air-bell of the Critic. Truth^s atmosphere may grow mephitic When Papist struggles with Dissenter, Impregnating its pristine clarity, — One, by his daily fare^s vulgarity. Its gust of broken meat and garlic ; — One, by his soul^s too-much presuming. To turn the frankin censers fuming And vapours of the candle starlike Into the cloud her wings she buoys on : And each, that sets the pure air seething. 54 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Poisoning it for healthy breathing — But the Critic leaves no air to poison ; Pumps out by a ruthless ingenuity Atom by atom^ and leaves you — ^vacuity. Thus much of Christy does he reject ? And what retain ? His intellect ? What is it I must reverence duly ? Poor intellect for worship^ truly. Which tells me simply what was told (If mere morality, bereffc Of the God in Christ, be all that 's left) Elsewhere by voices manifold ; With this advantage, that the stater Made nowise the important stumble Of adding, he, the sage and humble. Was also one with the Creator. You urge Christ^s followers^ simplicity : But how does shifting blame, evade it ? CHRISTMAS -EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 55 Have wisdom^s words no more felicity ? The stumbling-block^ His speech — ^who laid it ? How comes it that for one found able, To sift the truth of it from fable, MiUions believe it to the letter ? Clirist^s goodness, then — does that fare better ? Strange goodness, which upon the score Of being goodness, the mere due Of man to fellow -man, much more To God, — should take another view Of its possessor's privilege. And bid him rule his race ! You pledge Your fealty to such rule ? What, aU — From Heavenly John and Attic Paul, And that brave weather-battered Peter Whose stout faith only stood completer For buffets, sinning to be pardoned. As the more his hands hauled nets, they hardened, — 56 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. All, down to you, the man of men. Professing here at Gottingen, Compose Christ^s flock ! So, you and I Are sheep of a good man ! and why ? The goodness, — ^how did he acquire it ? Was it self-gained, did God inspire it ? Choose which ; then tell me, on what ground Should its possessor dare propound His claim to rise o^er us an inch ? Were goodness all some man^s invention. Who arbitrarily made mention What we should follow, and where flinch, — What qualities might take the style Of right and wrong, — and had such guessing Met with as general acquiescing As graced the Alphabet erewhile. When A got leave an Ox to be. No Camel (quoth the Jews) like G, — CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 57 Yot thus inventing tiling and title Worship were that man^s fit requital. But if the common conscience must Be ultimately judge, adjust Its apt name to each quality Already known, — I would decree Worship for such mere demonstration And simple work of nomenclature. Only the day I praised, not Nature, But Harvey, for the circulation. I would praise such a Christ, with pride And joy, that he, as none beside. Had taught us how to keep the mind God gave him, as God gave his kind. Freer than they from fleshly taint ! I would call such a Christ our Saint, As I declare our Poet, him Whose insight makes all others dim : 58 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. A thousand poets pried at life, And only one amid the strife Eose to be Shakespeare ! Each shall take His crown, IM say, for the world^s sake — Though some objected — ^^ Had we seen " The heart and head of each, what screen ^^ Was broken there to give them light, "While in ourselves it shuts the sight, " We should no more admire, perchance, " That these found truth out at a glance, " Than marvel how the bat discerns '^ Some pitch-dark cavern^s fifty turns, "Led by a finer tact, a gift " He boasts, which other birds must shift " Without, and grope as best they can/^ No, freely I would praise the man, — Nor one whit more, if he contended That gift of his, from God, descended. CHUISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 59 Ah, friend, what gift of man^s does not ? No nearer Something, by a jot, Eise an infinity of Nothings Than one : take Euclid for your teacher : Distinguish kinds : do crownings, clothings. Make that Creator which was creature ? Multiply gifts upon his head. And what, when all ^s done, shall be said But ... the more gifted he, I ween ! That one ^s made Christ, another, Pilate, And This might be all That has been, — So what is there to frown or smile at ? What is left for us, save, in growth. Of soul, to rise up, far past both. From the gift looking to the Giver, And from the cistern to the Eiver, And from the finite to Infinity, And from man's dust to God's divinity ? 60 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. xvn. Take all in a word : the Truth in God^s breast Tiies trace for trace upon ours impressed : Though He is so bright and we so dim, "We are made in His image to witness Him ; And were no eye in us to tell. Instructed by no inner sense. The Hght of Heaven from the dark of Hell, That light would want its evidence, — Though Justice, Good and Truth were still Divine, if, by some demon^s will. Hatred and wrong had been proclaimed Law through the worlds, and Eight misnamed. No mere exposition of morality Made or in part or in totality. Should win you to give it worship, therefore : And, if no better proof you will care for. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. 61 — Whom do you count the worst man upon earth ? Be sure, he knows, in his conscience, more Of what Eight is, than arrives at birth In the best man^s acts that we bow before : This last knows better — ^true; but my fact is, ^Tis one thing to know, and another to practise ; And thence I conclude that the real God-function Is to furnish a motive and injunction For practising what we know already. And such an injunction and such a motive As the God in Christ, do you waive, and ^^ heady High minded,^^ hang your tablet-votive Outside the fane on a finger-post ? Morahty to the uttermost, Supreme in Christ as we all confess. Why need we prove would avail no jot To make Him God, if God He were not ? What is the point where HimseK lays stress ? f)2 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Does the precept run " Believe in Good, ^^ In Justice, Truth, now understood ^^ For the first time ? '' — or, " Believe in Me, " Who lived and died, yet essentially ^^ Am Lord of Life ? '' Whoever can take The same to his heart and for mere lovers sake Conceive of the love, — that man obtains A new truth ; no conviction gains Of an old one only, made intense By a fresh appeal to his faded sense. Can it be that He stays inside ? Is the Vesture left me to commune with ? Could my soul find aught to sing in tune with Even at this lecture, if she tried ? Oh, let me at lowest sympathise CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 63 With the lurking drop of blood that lies In the desiccated brain^s white roots Without a throb for Christ^s attributes. As the Lecturer makes his special boast ! If love ^s dead there, it has left a ghost. Admire we, how from heart to brain (Though to say so strike the doctors dumb) One instinct rises and falls again, Restoring the equihbrium. And how when the Critic had done his best. And the Pearl of Price, at reason^s test. Lay dust and ashes levigable On the Professor^s lecture-table ; Wlien we looked for the inference and monition That our faith, reduced to such a condition. Be swept forthwith t6: ite natural dust-hole, — He bids us, when we lea^t Expect it. Take back our faith, — ^if it be not just whole. 64 CHBISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-T)AY. Yet a pearl indeed, as his tests affect it, Which fact pays the damage done rewardingly, So, prize we our dust and ashes accordingly ! " Go home and venerate the Myth " I thus have experimented with — " This Man, continue to adore him ^^ Eather than aU who went before him, '^ And aU who ever followed after \" — Surely for this I may praise you, my brother ! Will you take the praise in tears or laughter ? That 's one point gained : can I compass another ? Unlearned love was safe from spurning — Can 't we respect your loveless learning ? Let us at least give Learning honor ! What laurels had we showered upon her. Girding her loins up to perturb Our theory of the Middle Verb ; Or Turklike brandishing a scimetar 1 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ' 65 O^er anapaests in comic-trimeter ; Or curing the halt and maimed Iketides, While we lounged on at our indebted ease : Instead of which, a tricksy demon Sets her at Titus or Philemon ! When Ignorance wags his ears of leather And hates God^s word, ^tis altogether ; Nor leaves he his congenial thistles To go and browze on Paulas Epistles. — And you, the audience, who might ravage The world wide, enviably savage Nor heed the cry of the retriever. More than Herr Heine (before his fever), — I do not tell a lie so arrant As say my passion's wings are furled up. And, without the plainest Heavenly warrant, I were ready and glad to give this world up — But stiU, when you rub the brow meticulous. Q6 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 1 And ponder the profit of turning holy If not for God^s^ for your own sake solely, — God forbid I should find you ridiculous ! Deduce from this lecture all that eases you. Nay, call yourselves, if the calling pleases you, ^^ Christians,^' — abhor the Deist's pravity, — Go on, you shall no more move my gravity. Than, when I see boys ride a-cockhorse I find it in my heart to embarrass them By hinting that their stick 's a mock horse. And they really carry what they say carries them. So sate I talking with my mind. I did not long to leave the door And find a new church, as before. But rather was quiet and inclined CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 07 To prolong and enjoy the gentle resting From further tracking and trying and testing. This tolerance is a genial mood ! (Said I, and a little pause ensued). One trims the bark ^twixt shoal and sheK, And sees, each side, the good effects of it, A value for religion^ s self, A carelessness about the sects of it. Let me enjoy my own conviction. Not watch my neighbour's faith with fretfulness, Still spying there some dereliction Of truth, perversity, forgetfulness ! Better a mild indifferentism. To teach that all our faiths (though duller His shines through a dull spirit's prism) Originally had one colour — Sending me on a pilgrimage Tlirough ancient and through modern times F 2 68 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. To many peoples, various climes, "Where I may see Saint, Savage, Sage Fuse their respective creeds in one Before the general Father's throne ! 1 . . 'Twas the horrible storm began afresh ! The black night caught me in his mesh Whirled me up, and flung me prone. I was left on the college-step alone. I looked, and far there, ever fleeting Tar, far away, the receding gesture. And looming of the lessening Vesture, Swept forward from my stupid hand. While I watched my foohsh heart expand In the lazy glow of benevolence, oyer the yarious modes of man^s belief. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. 69 I sprang up with fear^s vehemence. — Needs must there be one way, our chief Best way of worship : let me strive To find it, and when found, contrive My fellows also take their share. This constitutes my earthly care : God^s is above it and distinct ! Tor I, a man, with men am linked. And not a brute with brutes ; no gain That I experience, must remain Unshared : but should my best endeavour To share it, fail — subsisteth ever God^s care above, and I exult That God, by God^s own ways occult. May — doth, I will believe — bring back All wanderers to a single track ! Meantime, I can but testify God^s care for me — no more, can I — 70 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. It is but for myself I Ictiow, The world rolls witnessing around me Only to leave me as it found me ; Men cry there^ but my ear is slow. Their races flourish or decay — What boots it, while yon lucid way Loaded with stars, divides the vault ? How soon my soul repairs its fault When, sharpening senses^ hebetude, She turns on my own life ! So viewed. No mere motels-breadth but teems immense With witnessings of providence : And woe to me if when I look Upon that record, the sole book Unsealed to me, I take no heed Of any warning that I read ! Have I been sure, this Christmas-Eve, God's own hand did the rainbow weave, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 71 Whereby the truth from heaven slid Into my soul ? — I cannot bid The world admit He stooped to heal My soul, as if in a thunder-peal Where one heard noise, and one saw flame, I only knew He named my name. And what is the world to me, for sorrow^ Or joy in its censures, when to-morrow It drops the remark, with just-turned head Then, on again — ^That man is dead ? Yes, — but for me — my name called, — drawn As a conscript^s lot from the lap's black yawn, He has dipt into on a battle-dawn : Bid out of life by a nod, a glance, — StumbHng, mute-mazed, at nature's chance, — With a rapid finger circled round, Fixed to the first poor inch of ground. To fight from, where his foot was found ; 72 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Whose ear but a minute since lay free To the wide campus buzz and gossipry — Summoned^ a soUtary man^ To end his life where his life began. From the safe glad rear, to the dreadful van ! Soul of mine, hadst thou caught and held , By the hem of the Vesture . . . And I caught At the flying Eobe, and unrepelled Was lapped again in its folds full-fraught With warmth and wonder and delight, God^s mercy being infinite. And scarce had the words escaped my tongue. When, at a passionate bound, I sprung Out of the wandering world of rain. Into the little chapel again. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 73 How else was I found there, bolt upright On my bench, as if I had never left it ? — Never flung out on the common at night Nor met the storm and wedge-like cleft it, Seen the raree-show of Peter^s successor. Or the laboratory of the Professor ! Por the Yision, that was true, I wist. True as that heaven and earth exist. There sate my friend, the yellow and tall. With his neck and its wen in the selfsame place ; Yet my nearest neighbour's cheek showed gall, She had sUd away a contemptuous space : And the old fat woman, late so placable, Eyed me with symptoms, hardly mistakeable. Of her milk of kindness turning rancid : In short a spectator might have fancied 74 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. That I had nodded betrayed by a slumber^ Yet kept my seat, a warning ghastly, Through the heads of the sermon, nine in number. To wake up now at the tenth and lastly. But again, could such a disgrace have happened ? Each friend at my elbow had surely nudged it ; And, as for the sermon, where did my nap end ? Unless I heard it, could I have judged it ? Could I report as I do at the close, First, the preacher speaks through his nose : Second, his gesture is too emphatic : Thirdly, to waive what ^s pedagogic. The subject-matter itseK lacks logic : Fourthly, the English is ungrammatic. Great news ! the preacher is found no Pascal, Whom, if I pleased, I might to the task call Of making square to a finite eye The circle of infinity. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 75 And find so all-but-just-succeeding ! Great news ! the sermon proves no reading Where bee-like in the flowers I may bury me, Like Taylor^s, the immortal Jeremy ! And now that I know the very worst of him, What was it I thought to obtain at first of him ? Ha ! Is God mocked, as He asks ? Shall I take on me to change His tasks. And dare, despatched to a river-head For a simple draught of the element. Neglect the thing for which He sent. And return with another thing instead ? — Saying . . " Because the water found ^' Welling up from underground, ^^ Is mingled with the taints of earth, " While Thou, I know, dost laugh at dearth, " And couldest, at a word, convulse ^^The world with the leap of its river-pulse, — 76 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEU-DAY. " Therefore I turned from the oozings muddy, " And bring thee a chalice I found, instead : " See the brave veins in the breccia ruddy ! ^^ One would suppose that the marble bled. ^^ What matters the water ? A hope I have nursed, " That the waterless cup will quench my thirst/^ — Better have knelt at the poorest stream That trickles in pain from the straitest rift ! Por the less or the more is all God^s gift. Who blocks up or breaks wide the granite-seam. And here, is there water or not, to drink ? I, then, in ignorance and weakness. Taking God^s help, have attained to think My heart does best to receive in meekness This mode of worsliip, as most to His mind. Where earthly aids being cast beliind. His All in All appears serene. With the thinnest human veil between, CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 77 Letting the mystic Lamps, the Seven, The many motions of His spirit. Pass, as they list, to earth from Heaven. For the preacher^s merit or demerit. It were to be wished the flaws were fewer In the earthen vessel, holding treasure. Which Ues as safe in a golden ewer ; But the main thing is, does it hold good measure ? Heaven soon sets right all other matters ! — Ask, else, these ruins of humanity. This flesh worn out to rags and tatters, Tliis soul at struggle with insanity. Who thence take comfort, can I doubt. Which an empire gained, were a loss Avithout. May it be mine ! And let us hope That no worse blessing befal the Pope, Turned sick at last of the da/s buffoonery. Of his posturings and his petticoatings. 78 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Beside the Bourbon bull/s gloatings In the bloody orgies of drunk poltroonery ! Nor may the Professor forego its peace At Gottingen, presently, when, in the dusk Of his life, if his cough, as I fear, should increase. Prophesied of by that horrible husk ; And when, thicker and thicker, the darkness fills The world through his misty spectacles. And he gropes for something more substantial Than a fable, myth, or personification. May Christ do for him, what no mere man shall, And stand confessed as the God of salvation ! Meantime, in the still recurring fear Lest myself, at unawares, be found. While attacking the choice of my neighbours round, Without my own made — I choose here ! The giving out of the hymn reclaims me ; I have done ! — And if any blames me. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 79 Thinking that merely to touch in brevity The topics I dwell on, were unlawful, — Or, worse, that I trench, with undue levity. On the bounds of the Holy and the awful, I praise the heart, and pity the head of him. And refer myself to Thee, instead of liim ; Who head and heart alike discemest, Looking below light speech we utter, When the frothy spume and frequent sputter Prove that the soul^s depths boil in earnest ! May the truth shine out, stand ever before us ! I put up pencil and join chorus To Hepzibah Tune, without further apology, The last five verses of the third section Of the seventeenth hymn in Whitfield^s Collection, To conclude with the doxology. ^ ffiajster-Bag. How very hard it is to be A Christian ! Hard for you and me, — ^Not the mere task of making real That duty up to its ideal. Effecting thus, complete and whole, A purpose of the human soul — For that is always hard to do ; But hard, I mean, for me and you To realise it, more or less. With even the moderate success CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 8 J Which commonly repays our strife To carry out the aims of life. " This aim is greater/^ you may say, '' And so more arduous every way/^ — But the importance of the fruits Still proves to man, in all pursuits. Proportional encouragement. " Then, what if it be God^s intent " That labour to this one result '' Shall seem unduly difficult ? " — Ah, that ^s a question in the dark— And the sole thing that I remark Upon the difficulty, this ; We do not see it where it is, At the beginning of the race : As we proceed, it shifts its place. And where we looked for palms to faU, We find the tug^s to come, — that ^s aU. 8^ CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. II. At &st you say, " The whole, or chief '' Of difficulties, is BeUef. '^ Could I believe once thoroughly, " The rest were simple. What ? Am I '^ An idiot, do you think ? A beast ? " Prove to me only that the least '^ Command of God is God^s indeed, '^ And what injunction shall I need ^^ To pay obedience ? Death so nigh ^^ When time must end, eternity '^ Begin, — and cannot I compute ? '^ Weigh loss and gain together ? suit '^ My actions to the balance drawn, ^' And give my body to be sawn '^ Asunder, hacked in pieces, tied " To horses, stoned, burned, crucified. 1 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 83 "Like any martyr of the Kst ? " How gladly, — ^if I made acquist, " Through the brief minutes^ fierce annoy, " Of God's eternity of joy/' III. — And certainly you name the point Whereon all turns : for could you joint This flexile finite life once tight Into the fixed and infinite. You, safe inside, would spurn what 's out. With carelessness enough, no doubt — • Would spurn mere life : but where time brings To their next stage your reasonings, Your eyes, late wide, begin to wink Nor see the path so weU, I think. G 2 84 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. IV. You say, " Faith may be, one agrees, '^ A touchstone for God^s purposes, " Even as ourselves conceive of them. " Could He acquit us or condemn ^^ For holding what no hand can loose, '' Eejecting when we canH but choose ? " As well award the victor's wreath '^ To whosoever should take breath " Duly each minute while he lived — " Grant Heaven, because a man contrived " To see the sunlight every day " He walked forth on the public way. " You must mix some uncertainty " With faith, if you would have faith be. " Why, what but faith, do we abhor '^ And idoUze each other for — CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 85 " — Faith in our evil, or our good, ^' Which is or is not understood " Aright by those we love or those ^' We hate, thence called our friends or foes ? '^ Your mistress saw your spirit^ s grace, ^^ When, turning from the ugly face, ^' I found belief in it too hard ; '' And both of us have our reward. ^' — Yet here a doubt peeps : well for us ^^ Weak beings, to go using thus ^^ A touchstone for our little ends, " And try with faith the foes and friends ; '' — But God, bethink you ! I would fain '^ Conceive of the Creator^s reign '^ As based upon exacter laws '' Than creatures build by with applause. '^ In all God's acts — (as Plato cries " He doth) — He should geometrise. • " Whence, I desiderate . . . '' 1 86 CHEISTMA3-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. I see! You would grow smootlily as a tree. Soar heavenward, straiglitly up like fire — God bless you — there^s your world entire Needing no faith, if you think fit ; Go there, walk up and down in it ! The whole creation travails, groans — Contrive your music from its moans. Without or let or hindrance, friend ! That ^s an old story, and its end As old — ^you come back (be sincere) With every question you put here (Here where there once was, and is still. We think, a living oracle. Whose answers you stood carping at) This time flung back unanswered flat, — CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 87 Besides, perhaps, as many more As those that drove you out before, Now added, where was little need ! Questions impossible, indeed, To us who sate still, all and each Persuaded that our earth had speech Of God^s, writ down, no matter if In cursive type or hieroglyph, — Which one fact frees us from the yoke Of guessing why He never spoke. You come back in no better phght Than when you left us, — am I right ? So the old process, I conclude, Goes on, the reasoning 's pursued Further. You own, ^' Tis well averred, " A scientific faith ^s absurd. 88 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. '' — l^ustrates the very end ^twas meant ^' To serve : so I would rest content '^ With a mere probability, * '' But, probable ; the chance must lie '' Clear on one side, — ^He all in rough, " So long as there is just enough '^ To pin my faith to, though it hap ^' Only at points : from gap to gap ^' One hangs up a huge curtain so, ^' Grandly, nor seeks to have it go " Foldless and flat along the wall : ^' — What care I that some interval ^^ Of life less plainly might depend ^^ On God ? I M hang there to the end ; ^^ And thus I should not find it hard " To be a Christian and debarred " From trailing on the earth, till furled " Away by death ! — Eenounce the world ? 1 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 89 " Were that a mighty hardship ? Plan '' A pleasant life^ and straight some man " Beside you^ with, if he thought fit, ^^ Abundant means to compass it, ^' Shall turn deliberate aside ^^ To try and live^as, if you tried ^' You clearly might, yet most despise. ^' One friend of mine wears out his eyes, ^' Slighting the stupid joys of sense, " In patient hope that, ten years hence, ^' Somewhat completer he may see " His list of lejoidoptercB : '^ While just the other who most laughs " At him, above all epitaphs ^' Aspires to have his tomb describe " Himself as Sole among the tribe '' Of snuffbox-fanciers, who possessed '' A Grignon with the Regents crest. 90 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ^^ So that, subduing as you want, '^ Whatever stands predominant ^^ Among my earthly appetites '^ For tastes, and smells, and sounds, and sights, '^ I shall be doing that alone, '^ To gain a palm-branch and a throne, " Which fifty people undertake " To do, and gladly, for the sake " Of giving a Semitic guess, '' Or playing pawns at blindfold chess/^ VII. Good ! and the next thing is, — look round For evidence enough. ''Tis found. No doubt : as is your sort of mind. So is your sort of search — ^you^U find What you desire, and that ^s to be A Christian : what says History ? CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE-DAY. 91 How comforting a point it were To find some mmnmy-serap declare There lived a Moses ! Better stiU, Prove Jonah^s whale translatable Into some quicksand of the seas^ Isle, cavern, rock, or what you please. That Faith might clap her wings and crow From such an eminence ! Or, no — The Human Heart ^s best ; you prefer Making that prove the minister To truth ; you probe its wants and needs And hopes and fears, then try what creeds Meet these most aptly, — resolute That Faith plucks such substantial fruit Wherever these two correspond, She Kttle needs to look beyond, To puzzle out what Orpheus was. Or Dionysius Zagrias. 92 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. You ^11 find sufficient^ as I say. To satisfy you either way. You wanted to believe ; your pains Are crowned — you do : and what remains ? Renounce the world ! — Ah, were it done By merely cutting one by one Your limbs oflF, with your wise head last, How easy were it ! — ^how soon past, If once in the believing mood ! Such is man's usual gratitude. Such thanks to God do we return, For not exacting that we spurn A single gift of life, forego One real gain, — only taste them so With gravity and temperance. That those mild virtues may enhance Such pleasures, rather than abstract — Last spice of which, will be the fact CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Of love discerned in every gift ; While^ when the scene of life shall shift. And the gay heart be taught to ache, As sorrows and privations take The place of joy, — the thing that seems Mere misery, under human schemes. Becomes, regarded by the light Of Love, as very near, or quite As good a gift as joy before. So plain is it that all the more God^s dispensation ^s merciful. More pettishly we try and cull Briars, thistles, from our private plot. To mar God^s ground where thorns are not ! Do you say this, or I ? — Oh, you ! Then, what, my friend, — (so I pursue 94 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Our parley) — ^you indeed opine That the Eternal and Divine Did^ eighteen centuries ago. In very truth . . . Enough ! you know The all-stupendous tale, — ^that Birth, That Life, that Death ! And aU, the earth Shuddered at, — all, the heavens grew black Rather than see ; all, Nature^s rack And throe at dissolution's brink Attested, — ^it took place, you think. Only to give our joys a zest. And prove our sorrows for the best ? We differ, then ! Were I, still pale And heartstruck at the dreadful tale. Waiting to hear God's voice declare What horror followed for my share. As implicated in the deed. Apart from other sins, — concede CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 95 That if He blacked out in a blot My brief lifers pleasantness, ^twere not So very disproportionate ! Or there might be another fate — I certainly could understand (If fancies were the thing in hand) How God might save, at that Da/s price, The impure in their impurities. Leave formal licence and complete To choose the fair, and pick the sweet. But there be certain words, broad, plain. Uttered again and yet again, Hard to mistake, to overgloss — Announcing this world^s gain for loss. And bidding us reject the same : The whole world lieth (they proclaim) In wickedness, — come out of it ! — Turn a deaf ear, if you think fit. 3 CHRJSTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. But I who thrill through every nerve At thought of what deaf ears deserve, — How do you counsel in the case ? IX. ^^ I ^d take, by all means, in your place, " The safe side, since it so appears : '' Deny myself, a few brief years, " The natural pleasure, leave the fruit '' Or cut the plant up by the root. '^ Remember what a martyr said " On the rude tablet overhead — '^ ' I was bom sickly, poor and mean, ^^ ^ A slave : no misery could screen '' ' The holders of the pearl of price ^^ ^ Prom Csesar^s envy ; therefore twice '' ' I fought with beasts, and three times saw ^^ ^ My children suffer by his law — 1 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 97 " ' At last my own release was earned : '^ ' I was some time in being burned, ^^ ^ But at the close a Hand came through ^' ' The fire above my head, and drew '^ ^ My soul to Christ, whom now I see. " ' Sergius, a brother, writes for me " ^ This testimony on the wall — " ^ For me, I have forgot it all.'' " You say right ; this were not so hard ! ^^ And since one nowise is debarred '^ Prom this, why not escape some sins " By such a method V — Then begins To the old point, revulsion new — (Por 'tis just this, I bring you to) If after all we should mistake, 98 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. And so renounce life for the sake Of death and nothing else ? You hear Our friends we jeered at, send the jeer Back to ourselves with good effect — ^ There were my beetles to collect !^ ' My box — a trifle, I confess, ^ But here I hold it, nevertheless V Poor idiots, (let us pluck up heart And answer) we, the better part Have chosen, though ^twere only hope, — Nor envy moles like you that grope Amid your veritable muck, More than the grasshoppers would truck, For yours, their passionate life away. That spends itself in leaps all day To reach the sun, you want the eyes To see, as they the wings to rise And match the noble hearts of them ! 1 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 99 So, the contemner we contemn, — And, when doubt strikes us, so, we ward Its stroke off, caught upon oui* guard, — ^Not struck enough to overturn Our faith, but shake it — ^make us learn What I began with, and, I wis. End, having proved, — ^how hard it is To be a Christian ! XI. ^^ Proved, or not, " However you wis, small thanks, I wot, " You get of mine, for taking pains '^ To make it hard to me. Who gains " By that, I wonder ? Here I live " In trusting ease ; and do you drive ^^ At causing me to lose what most '^ Yourself would mourn for when ^twas lost ?" H 2 100 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. XII. But, do jDu see, my friend, that thus You leave St. Paul for JEschylus ? — — ^Who made his Titan^s arch-device The giving men lUnd Aojpes to spice The meal of life with, else devoured In bitter haste, while lo ! Death loured Before them at the platter's edge ! If faith should be, as we allege. Quite other than a condiment To heighten flavors with, or meant (Like that brave curry of his Grace) To take at need the victuals^ place ? If having dined you would digest Besides, and turning to your rest Should find instead . . . n CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 101 XIII. Now^ you shall see And judge if a mere foppery Pricks on my speaking ! I resolve To utter . . yes^ it shall devolve On you to hear as solemn, strange And dread a thing as in the range Of facts, — or fancies, if God will — E'er happened to our kind ! I still Stand in the cloud, and while it wraps My face, ought not to speak, perhaps ; Seeing that as I carry through My purpose, if my words in you Find veritable listeners. My story, reason's self avers Must needs be false — ^the happy chance ! While, if each human countenance 102 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. I meet in London streets all day, Be what I fear, — ^my warnings fray No one, and no one they convert. And no one helps me to assert How hard it is to really be A Christian, and in vacancy I pour this story ! XIV. I commence By trying to inform you, whence It comes that every Easter-night As now, I sit up, watch, till Hght Shall break, those cliimney-stacks and roofs Give, through my window-pane, grey proofs That Easter-day is breaking slow. On such a night, three years ago, It chanced that I had cause to cross CHRISTMAS-EVE A^D EASTER-DAY. 103 The common^ where the chapel was, Our friend spoke of, the other day — You 've not forgotten, I dare say. I fell to musing of the time So close, the blessed matin-prime All hearts leap up at, in some guise — One could not weU do otherwise. Insensibly my thoughts were bent Toward the main point ; I overwent Much the same ground of reasoning As you and I just now : one thing Eemained, however — one that tasked My soul to answer ; and I asked, Fairly and frankly, what might be That History, that Paith, to me — — Me there — ^not me, in some domain Built up and peopled by my brain. Weighing its merits as one weighs 104 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Mere theories for blame or praise, — ^The Kingcraft of the Lucumons, Or Tourier^s scheme, its pros and cons,- But as my faith, or none at all. ' How were my case, now, should I fall ^ Dead here, this minute — do I lie ' Faithful or faithless ?'— Note that I Inclined thus ever ! — ^little prone Por instance, when I slept alone In childhood, to go calm to sleep And leave a closet where might keep His watch perdue some murderer Waiting till twelve o^clock to stir. As good, authentic legends teU He might — ^ But how improbable I ^ How little likely to deserve ' The pains and trial to the nerve ' Of thrusting head into the dark,^ — CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 105 Urged my old nurse^ and bade me mark Besides, that, should the dreadful scout Eeally He hid there, to leap out At first turu of the rusty key. It were small gain that she could see In being kiUed upon the floor And losing one night^s sleep the more. I tell you, I would always burst The door ope, know my fate at first. This time, indeed, the closet penned No such assassin : but a friend Rather, peeped out to guard me, fit For counsel. Common Sense, to-wit, Who said a good deal that might pass, — Heartening, impartial too, it was. Judge else : ^ For, soberly now, — ^who ' Should be a Christian if not you ? ^ (Hear how he smoothed me down). ^ One takes 106 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-BAY. ^ A whole Ufe, sees what course it makes ' Mainly, and not by fits and starts — ' In spite of stoppage which imparts ' Fresh value to the general speed : ' A life, with none, would fly indeed : ^ Your progressing is slower — ^right ! ' We deal with progressing, not flight. ' Through bafihng senses passionate, ' Fancies as restless, — ^with a freight ^ Of knowledge cumbersome enough ' To sink your ship when waves grow rough, ' Not serve as ballast in the hold, • ' I find, ^mid dangers manifold, ^ The good bark answers to the hehn ' Wliere Faith sits, easier to overwhelm ^ Than some stout peasant's heavenly guide, ' Whose hard head could not, if it tried, ^ Conceive a doubt, or understand CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 107 ^ How senses homier than his hand ' Should ^tice the Christian off his guard — ' More happy ! But shall we award ^ Less honor to the hull, which, dogged ' By storms, a mere wreck, waterlogged, ' Masts by the board, and bulwarks gone, ^ And stanchions going, yet bears on, — ^ Than to mere life-boats, built to save, ' And triumph o^er the breaking wave ? ' Make perfect your good ship as these, ' And what were her performances ! ^ I added — ^ Would the ship reached home ! ' I wish indeed ^^ God^s kingdom come — " ' The day when I shall see appear ^ His bidding, as my duty, clear ^ From doubt ! And it shall dawn, that day, ' Some future season ; Easter may ' Prove, not impossibly, the time — 108 CHBISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ^ Yes, that were striking — ^fates would chime ' So aptly ! Easter-mom, to bring ' The Judgment ! — deeper in the Spring ^ Than now, however, when there ^s snow ^ Capping the hills ; for earth must show ^ All signs of meaning to pursue * Her tasks as she was wont to do — ^ — The lark, as taken by surprise ^ As we ourselves, shall recognise ' Sudden the end ; for suddenly ^ It comes — ^the dreadfulness must be ^ In that — all warrants the belief — ' ^^ At night it cometh like a thief/^ ' I fancy why the trumpet blows ; ' — ^Plainly, to wake one. From repose ^ We shall start up, at last awake ' Prom life, that insane dream we take ' For waking now, because it seems. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 109 ^ And as, when now we wake from dreams, ^We say, while we recall them, "Pool, ^ " To let the chance sHp, linger cool ^ "When such adventure offered ! Just ^ " A bridge to cross, a dwarf to thrust ' " Aside, a wicked mage to stab — - ' " And, lo ye, I had kissed Queen Mab,'' — ^ So shall we marvel why we grudged ^ Our labours here, and idly judged ' Of Heaven, we might have gained, but lose ! ' Lose ? Talk of loss, and I refuse ' To plead at all ! I speak no worse ^ Nor better than my ancient nurse ^ "When she would tell me in my youth ' I well deserved that shapes uncouth ^ Should fright and tease me in my sleep — ' Why did I not in memory keep ' Her precept for the evil's cure ? 110 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ^ ^^ Pinch your own arm_, boy^ and be sure ' " You'll wake forthwith ! " ' XV. And as I said This nonsense, throwing back my head "With light complacent laugh, I found Suddenly all the midnight round One fire. The dome of Heaven had stood As made up of a multitude Of handbreadth cloudlets, one vast rack Of ripples infinite and black, From sky to sky. Sudden there went. Like horror and astonishment, A fierce vindictive scribble of red Quick flame across, as if one said (The angry scribe of Judgment) ^ There — ' Bum it ! ' And straight I was aware CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Ill That the whole ribwork round, minute Cloud touching cloud beyond compute. Was tinted each with its own spot Of burning at the core, till clot Jammed against clot, and spilt its fire Over all heaven, which ^gan suspire As fanned to measure equable, — As when great conflagrations kill Night overhead, and rise and sink, Reflected. Now the fire would shrink And wither off the blasted face Of heaven, and I distinct could trace The sharp black ridgy outlines left Unburned like network — ^then, each cleft The fire had been sucked back into. Regorged, and out it surging flew Furiously, and night writhed inflamed. Till, tolerating to be tamed 112 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. No longer^ certain rays world-wide Shot downwardly^ on every side, Caught past escape ; the earth was lit ; As if a dragon^s nostril split And all his famished ire overflowed ; Then, as he winced at his Lord^s goad. Back he inhaled : whereat I found The clouds into vast pillars bound, Based on the corners of the earth. Propping the skies at top : a dearth Of fire i^ the violet intervals. Leaving exposed the utmost walls Of time, about to tumble in And end the world. I felt begin The Judgment-Day : to retrocede n CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 113 Was too late now. — ' In very deed, (I uttered to myseK) ' that Day ! ^ The intuition burned away All darkness from my spirit too — There, stood I, found and fixed, I knew, Choosing the world. The choice was made — And naked and disguiseless stayed, And unevadeable, the fact. My brain held nevertheless compact Its senses, nor my heart declined Its office — rather, both combined To help me in this juncture — I Lost not a second, — agony Gave boldness : there, my life had end And my choice with it — ^best defend. Applaud them ! I resolved to say, ^ So was I framed by Thee, tliis way ^ I put to use Thy senses here ! 114 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTEE--DAY. ' It was so beautiful^ so near, ' Thy world, — what could I do but choose * My part there ? Nor did I refuse * To look above the transient boon ^ In time — but it was hard so soon ^ As in a short life, to give up ' Such beauty : I had put the cup ' Undrained of half its fulness, by ; ' But, to renounce it utterly, ' — ^That was too hard ! Nor did the Cry ^ Which bade renounce it, touch my brain ' Authentically deep and plain ' Enough, to make my lips let go. ' But Thou, who knowest aU, dost know ' Whether I was not, life's brief while, ' Endeavouring to reconcile * Those Ups — too tardily, alas ! ' To letting the dear remnant pass. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 115 ' One day, — some drops of earthly good ' Untasted ! Is it for this mood, ' That Thou, whose earth delights so well, ' Hast made its complement a Hell ? ' A final belch of fire like blood, Overbroke all, next, in one flood Of doom. Then fire was sky, and sky Was fire, and both, one extacy. Then ashes. But I heard no noise (Whatever was) because a Voice Beside me spoke thus, " All is done, ^^ Time ends. Eternity ^s begun, " And thou art judged for evermore ! '' XVIII. I looked up ; all was as before ; I 2 116 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. Of that cloud-Tophet overhead. No trace was left : I saw instead The common round me, and the sky Above, stretched drear and emptily Of Hfe : Hwas the last watch of night. Except what brings the morning quite. When the armed angel, conscience-clear His task nigh done, leans o'er his spear And gazes on the earth he guards. Safe one night more through all its wards. Till God relieve him at his post. ^ A dream — a waking dream at most ! ' (I spoke out quick that I might shake The horrid nightmare off, and wake.) ^The world's gone, yet the world is here ? ^ Are not all things as they appear ? ' Is Judgment past for me alone ? ' — And where had place the Great White Throne ? CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ]17 ' The rising of the Quick and Dead ? ^ Where stood they, small and great ? Who read ^ The sentence from the Opened Book ? ^ So, by degrees, the blood forsook My heart, and let it beat afresh : I knew I should break through the mesh Of horror, and breathe presently — When, lo, again, the Voice by me ! XIX. I saw . . . Oh, brother, ^mid far sands The palm-tree-cinctured city stands, — Bright-white beneath, as Heaven, bright-blue. Above it, while the years pursue Their course, unable to abate Its paradisal laugh at fate : One mom, — the Arab staggers blind O^er a new tract of death, calcined 118 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. To ashes, silence, nothingness, — Striving, with dizzy wits, to guess Whence fell the blow : what if, ^twixt skies And prostrate earth, he should surprise The imaged Yapour, head to foot. Surveying, motionless and mute, Its work, ere, in a whirlwind rapt. It vanish up again ? — So hapt My chance. He stood there. Like the smoke Pillared o'er Sodom, when day broke, — I saw Him. One magnific pall Mantled in massive fold and fall His Dread, and coiled in snaky swathes About His feet : night's black, that bathes All else, broke, grizzled with despair. Against the soul of blackness there. A gesture told the mood witliin — That wrapped right hand which based the chin, — CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER DAY. 119 That intense meditation fixed On His procedure, — pity mixed With the fiilfihnent of decree. Motionless, thus. He spoke to me, Who feU before His feet, a mass. No man now. ^^ All is come to pass. " Such shows are over for each soul ^^ They had respect to. In the roU " Of Judgment which convinced mankind " Of sin, stood many, bold and blind, " Terror must bum the truth into : "Their fate for them !— thou had'st to do " With absolute omnipotence, " Able its judgments to dispense " To the whole race, as every one 120 ' CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " Were its sole object : that is done : " God is, thou art, — the rest is hurled '^ To nothingness for thee. This world, " This finite Hfe, thou hast preferred, " In disbehef of God^s own word, ^^To Heaven and to Infinity. " Here, the probation was for thee, " To show thy soul the earthly mixed " With Heavenly, it must choose betwixt. " The earthly joys lay palpable, — ^^ A taint, in each, distinct as well ; " The Heavenly flitted, faint and rare, '^ Above them, but as truly were ^' Taintless, so in their nature, best. " Thy choice was earth : thou didst attest '^ ^Twas fitter spirit should subserve " The flesh, than flesh refine to nerve " Beneath the spirit^s play. Advance CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 121 " No claim to their inheritance " Who chose the spirit^s fugitive '' Brief gleams, and thought, ^ This were to Uve " ^ Indeed, if rays, completely pure '^ ' From flesh that dulls them, should endure, — ^^ ' Not shoot in meteor-hght athwart " ' Our earth, to show how cold and swart " ' It lies beneath their fire, but stand ^^ ^ As stars should, destined to expand, ^' ^ Prove veritable worlds, our home ! ' " Thou said^st, — ^ Let Spirit star the dome '' ' Of sky, that flesh may miss no peak, " ^ No nook of earth, — I shall not seek " ' Its service further !^ Thou art shut '^ Out of the Heaven of Spirit ; glut '^ Thy sense upon the world ; ^tis thine " For ever — take it ! " 122 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ' How ? Is mine, ^The world ?^ (I cried, while my soiil broke Out in a transport) ^ Hast Thou spoke ' Plainly in that ? Earth^s exquisite ' Treasures of wonder and delight, ^ For me?' The austere Voice returned, — " So soon made happy ? Hadst thou learned '* What God accounteth happiness, '^ Thou wouldst not find it hard to guess '^ What HeU may be His punishment " For those who doubt if God invent ^' Better than they. Let such men rest " Content with what they judged the best. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 123 " Let the Unjust usurp at will : '' The Filthy shall be filthy stiU : " Miser, there waits the gold for thee ! '' Hater, indulge thine enmity ! " And thou, whose heaven, self-ordained, ^^ Was to enjoy earth unrestrained, '' Do it ! Take all the ancient show ! " The woods shall wave, the rivers flow, " And men apparently pursue " Their works, as they were wont to do, " While living in probation yet : ^^ I promise not thou shalt forget " The past, now gone to its account, " But leave thee with the old amount " Of faculties, nor less nor more, '^ Unvisited, as heretofore, ^' By God^s free spirit, that makes an end. ^^ So, once more, take thy world ; expend 124 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " Eternity upon its shows, — " Flung thee as freely as one rose '^ Out of a summer's opulence, " Over the Eden-barrier whence ^^Thou art excluded. Knock in vain V I sate up. All was still again. I breathed free : to my heart, back fled The warmth. ^ But, all the world V (I said) I stooped and picked a leaf of fern. And recollected I might learn Erom books, how many myriad sorts Exist, if one may trust reports. Each as distinct and beautiful As this, the very first I cull. Think, from the first leaf to the last ! Conceive, then, earth's resources ! Vast CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 125 Exhaustless beauty, endless change Of wonder ! and this foot shall range Alps, Andes, — and this eye devour The bee-bird and the aloe-flower ? And the Voice, " Welcome so to rate '^ The arras-folds that variegate " The earth, God^s antechamber, well ! ^^ The wise, who waited there, could tell '' By these, what royalties in store ^' Lay one step past the entrance-door. " For whom, was reckoned, not too much, ^^ This life's munificence ? For sach '' As thou, — a race, whereof not one " Was able, in a million, ^^ To feel that any marvel lay ^^ In objects round his feet all day ; 126 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. '^ Nor one^ in many millions more^ '^ Willing, if able, to explore " The secreter, minuter charm ! " — Brave souls, a fern-leaf could disarm " Of power to cope with God^s intent, — " Or scared if the South Firmament " With North-foe did its wings refledge ! " AU partial beauty was a pledge ^^ Of beauty in its plenitude : " But since the pledge sufficed thy mood, '^ Retain it — plenitude be theirs " Who looked above ! '' XXV, Though sharp despairs Shot through me, I held up, bore on. ' What is it though my trust is gone ' From natural things ? Henceforth my part CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 127 ^ Be less with Nature than with Art ! ' For Art supplants, gives mainly worth ^ To Nature ; ^tis Man stamps the earth — ' And I will seek his impress, seek ^ The statuary of the Greek, ^ Italy's painting — there my choice ^ShaUfix!' '' Obtain it/' said the Voice. " The one form with its single act, '^ Which sculptors labored to abstract, '' The one face, painters tried to draw, " With its one look, from throngs they saw ! " And that perfection in their soul, '^ These only hinted at ? The whole, '' They were but parts of? What each laid '^ His claim to glory on ? — afraid 128 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " His fellow-men should give him rank '^ By the poor tentatives he shrank ^^ Smitten at heart from^ aU the more, ^^ That gazers pressed in to adore ! " ^ Shall I be judged by only these ? ' '^ If such his soul^s capacities, ^^ Even while he trod the earth, — tliink, now ^^ What pomp in Buonarotti^s brow, " With its new palace-brain where dwells ^^ Superb the soul, unvexed by cells " That crumbled with the transient clay ! " What visions will his right hand^s sway '' Still turn to form, as still they burst " Upon him ? How will he quench thirst, " Titanically infantine, " Laid at the breast of the Divine ? " Does it confound thee, — ^this first page ^^ Emblazoning man^s heritage ? — CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 129 " Can this alone absorb thy sight, *' As if they were not infinite, — '^ Like the omnipotence wliich tasks '' Itself, to furnish all that asks '' The soul it means to satiate ? '^ What was the world, the starry state " Of the broad skies, — ^what, all displays '' Of power and beauty intermixed, ^^ Which now thy soul is chained betwixt, — '' What, else, than needful furniture ^^ For lifers fiist stage ? Grod^s work, be sure, *' No more spreads wasted, than falls scant : ^^ He filled, did not exceed, Man's want ^^ Of beauty in this life. And pass '' Life's line, — and what has earth to do, " Its utmost beaut/s appanage, '^ With the requirements of next stage ? ''Did God pronounce earth 'very good' ? 130 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " Needs must it be, wliile understood '^ For man^s preparatory state ; ^^ Nothing to heighten nor abate : '^ But transfer the completeness here, " To serve a new staters use, — and drear '^ Deficiency gapes every side ! '^ The good, tried once, were bad, retried. ^^ See the enwrapping rocky niche, '' SdBBcient for the sleep, in which '^ The lizard breathes for ages safe : '' Split the mould — and as this would chafe " The creature^s new world- widened sense, '^ One minute after you dispense " The thousand sounds and sights that broke '^ In, on him, at the chisers stroke, — " So, in God's eyes, the earth's first stuff " Was, neither more nor less, enough " To house man's soul, man's need fulfil. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 131 " You reckoned it immeasurable : '^ So thinks the lizard of his vault ! " Could God be taken in default, " Short of contrivances, by you, — " Or reached, ere ready to pursue " His progress through eternity ? '^ That chambered rock, the Hzard^s world, ^^ Your easy maUet^s blow has hurled ^^ To nothingness for ever ; so, ^' Has God aboHshed at a blow ^' This world, wherein his saints were pent, — '' Who, though, found grateful and content, '' With the provision there, as thou, " Yet knew He would not disallow " Their spirits^ hunger, felt as well, — " Unsated, — not unsatable, '^ As Paradise gives proof. Deride " Their choice now, thou who sif st outside ! '' K 2 132 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. I cried in anguish^ ^ Mind^ the mind^ ^ So miserably cast behind, ' To gain what had been wisely lost ! ^ Oh, let me strive to make the most ^ Of the poor stinted soul, I nipped ^ Of budding wings, else well equipt ^ For voyage from summer isle to isle ! ^ And though she needs must reconcile ' Ambition to the life on ground, ' Still, I can profit by late found ^ But precious knowledge. Mind is best — ' I will seize mind, forego the rest ^ And try how far my tethered strength ' May crawl in this poor breadth and length. ' — ^Let me, since I can fly no more, ' At least spin dervish-like about CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 133 ' (Till giddy rapture almost doubt ' I fly) through circling sciences, ^ Philosophies and histories ! ' Should the whirl slacken there, then Verse, ' Fining to music^ shall asperse ' Fresh and fresh fire-dew, till I strain ' Intoxicate, half-break my chain ! ^ Not joyless, though more favoured feet ' Stand calm, where I want wings to beat ' The floor ? At least earth^s bond is broke V Then, (sickening even while I spoke) ^ Let me alone ! No answer, pray, ' To tliis ! I know what Thou wilt say ! ' All still is earth's, — ^to Know, as much ' As Feel its truths, which if we touch ^ With sense or apprehend in soul. 134 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. ' What matter ? I have reached the goal — ^ ^^ Whereto does Knowledge serve V will burn ' My ejes^ too sure, at every turn ! ' I cannot look back now, nor stake ' Bliss on the race, for running's sake, ' The goaPs a ruin like the rest V — — ^' And so much worse thy latter quest, (Added the Voice) " that even on earth " Whenever, in man^s soul, had birth " Those intuitions, grasps of guess, '^ That pull the more into the less, ^^ Making the finite comprehend " Infinity, the bard would spend " Such praise alone, upon his craft, '^ As, when wind-lyres obey the waft, " Goes to the craftsman who arranged " The seven strings, changed them and rechanged — " Knowing it was the South that harped. CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 135 '' He felt his song^ in singing, warped, " Distinguished his and God^s part : whence " A world of spirit as of sense '^ Was plain to him, yet not too plain, '' Which he conld traverse, not remain ^^ A guest in : — else were permanent " Heaven upon earth, its gleams were meant '^ To sting with hunger for the light, — '^ Made visible in Verse, despite " The veiling weakness, — ^truth by means '^ Of fable, showing while it screens, — ^^ Since highest truth, man e^er supplied^ " Was ever fable on outside. '^ Such gleams made bright the earth an age ; '' Now, the whole sun ^s his heritage ! ^^ Take up thy world, it is allowed, " Thou who hast entered in the cloud V 136 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. XXIX. Then I — ^Behold, my spirit bleeds, ' Catches no more at broken reeds, — ^ But lilies flower those reeds above — ^ I let the world go, and take love ! ' Love survives in me, albeit those ' I loved are henceforth masks and shows, ^ Not loving men and women : still ^ I mind how love repaired all ill, * Cured wrong, soothed grief, made earth amends ' With parents, brothers, children, friends ! ' Some semblance of a woman yet ' With eyes to help me to forget, ' Shall live with me ; and I will match * Departed love with love, attach ^ Its fragments to my whole, nor scorn / The poorest of the grains of corn CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. 137 ' I save from shipwreck on this isle, ' Trusting its barrenness may smile ' With happy foodful green one day, ' More precious for the pains. I pray, ' For love, then, only ! ' At the word. The Form, I looked to have been stirred With pity and approval, rose O^er me, as when the headsman throws Axe over shoulder to make end — I fell prone, letting Him expend His wrath, while, thus, the inflicting Voice Smote me. ^' Is this thy final choice ? '^ Love is the best ? ^Tis somewhat late ! " And all thou dost enumerate '^ Of power and beauty in the world, 138 CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. " The mightiness of love was curled " Inextricably round about. '' Love lay within it and without, '' To clasp thee, — ^but in vain ! Thy soul " Still shrunk from Him who made the whole, '^ Still set deliberate aside '' His love ! — Now take love ! Well betide ^^ Thy tardy conscience ! Haste to take ^^ The show of love for the name^s sake, " Remembering every moment Who " Beside creating thee unto '' These ends, and these for thee, was said ^^ To undergo death in thy stead " In flesh Uke thine : so ran the tale. " What doubt in thee could countervail '^ Belief in it ? Upon the ground " ^ That in the story had been found " ^ Too much love ? How coidd God love so ? CHRISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY, 139 '^ He who in all his works below '^ Adapted to the needs of man, ^^ Made love the basis of the plan, — ^^ Did love, as was demonstrated : ^^ While man, who was so fit instead, " To hate, as every day gave proof, — ^^ You thought man, for his kind^s behoof, ^^ Both could and would invent that scheme " Of perfect love — ^^twould well beseem " Cain's nature thou wast wont to praise, ^' Not tally with God^s usual ways ! '^ XXXI. And I cowered deprecatingly — ' Thou Love of God ! Or let me die, ' Or grant what shall seem Heaven almost ! ' Let me not know that all is lost, ' Though lost it be — leave me not tied 140 CHRISTMAS-EVE ^D EASTEE-DAY. ' To this despair^ this corpse-like bride ! ' Let that old life seem mine — no more — ^ With limitation as before, ^ With darkness^ hunger, toil, distress : ' Be all the earth a wilderness ! ^ Only let me go on, go on, ^ Still hoping ever and anon ' To reach one eve the Better Land ! ' XXXII. Then did the Form expand, expand — I knew Him through the dread disguise, As the whole God within his eyes Embraced me. Wlien I lived again. The day was breaking, — the grey plain CHRISTMAS-EVE ^ND EASTER-DAY. 141 I rose from, silvered thick with dew. Was this a vision ? False or true ? Since then, three varied years are spent. And commonly my mind is bent To think it was a dream — be sure A mere dream and distemperature — The last day's watching : then the night, — The shock of that strange Northern Light Set my head swimming, bred in me A dream. And so I live, you see. Go through the world, try, prove, reject. Prefer, still struggling to effect My warfare ; happy that I can Be crossed and thwarted as a man, Not left in God^s contempt apart. With ghastly smooth life, dead at heart. Tame in earth's paddock as her prize. Thank God she stiU each method tries 142 CHEISTMAS-EVE AND EASTER-DAY. To catch me, who may yet escape. She knows, the fiend in angePs shape ! Thank God, no paradise stands barred To entry, and I find it hard To be a Christian, as I said ! Still every now and then my head Eaised glad, sinks mournful — all grows drear Spite of the sunshine, while I fear And think, ^ How dreadful to be grudged ^ No ease henceforth, as one that 's judged, ^ Condemned to earth for ever, shut ' From Heaven \ . But Easter-Day breaks ! But Christ rises ! Mercy every way Is infinite, — and who can say ? LONDON: AUnURY AND ETA>S, FRINTERS, WHITBFRIARS. y- y^ va;s^