.#%,. ^ WIDOW SPRIGGINS, AND OTHER SKETCHES. MRS. F. M. WIIITCHER, AUTHOR OP "WIDOW BEDOTT PAPEES." BDITKD, WITH A MEMOIR, BY MRS. M. L. WARD WHITCHER. With Comic IlludratioTis. <&. NEW YORK: Geo, W, Carleton <2f Co., P2tblishers, LONDON: S. LOW, SON & CO. MDCCCLXVII. Entered according to Act of Congress in tlie year ISfj?, by G. W. CAKIiETON & CO., In tlie Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. J. E. Farwell & Co., Stereotj'pers and Printers, 37 Congress Struct, Boston. 'mJ w ■-, r ■«* CO]>^TENTS. ( -f ^ /g BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION ,11 RECOLLECTIONS OF WIDOW SPRIGGINS 39 CHAPTER I. I DESCRIBE MTSEI-F — I GO TO BOAKDING SCHOOI,— I HAVE A BEAU — MY HEARTLESS PA- KINX — I LOBSQUANDER FROM THE HUM OF MY TOUTHHOOD — I WRITE SOME VAISE3 . 39 CHAPTER n. I MAKE HIGGINS PATENT MY NATYVE PLACK — I WRITE TO MY CKEWIL PARINT — I HAVE A NEW LUVER, AND I EGSEPT HIM — I GIT A LETTER FROM MY CREWIL PAKINT AND I CON- CLUDE TO ESTABLISH A SiMMINARY— I WRITE SUM STANZYS BY MOONLIGHT • 47 CHAPTER HI. I AVRITE AN ADVERTTZEMENT FOR MY SIMMINARY — I OBTAIN MY WARDROBES AND I RE- CEIVE CALLS FROM MY PATRONERS — I RELATE TO THEM MY MAWLONCOLLY EOSPERIENCE — I WRITE AN EPIGRANNY 66 CHAPTER IV. I BEGIN MY SiMMINARY AND I TEACH — I MEET JABEZ SPRIGOINS — I WRITE SOME VAISES — I GIT INVITED TO A PARTY .07 CHAPTER V. I DRESS UP AND GO TO A PARTY — I HAVE SOME ADVENTURS THERE — I WRITE A POETICAL CONFUSION 77 CHAPTER VI. jABEZ SPRIGGINS PROPOSES — I HAVE COMPANY TO TEA— I WRITE SOME STANZYS TO JA- BEZ SPRIGGINS CHAPTER VII. I GET KETCHED IN A SHOWER — THE GENTLEMEN ESCORTS ME TO MY SiMMINARY — I WRITE AN Ode m6'9941 94 6 CONTENTS. CHAPTER VIII. 1 HEAR OF MY MATERNAL PARINT'S ILLNESS, AND I START FOR HUM — I HEAR OF PHILAN- uer's getting married and 1 have Higustericks — I write some Poitry on a Lament and I don't speak to Nobody 104 CHAPTER IX. The Stage gits upsot— I loose my Chist — I have grate Tribbelations, and I write some Lines and have some Lines dedicated to me 113 CHAPTER X. I find my Chist — I go to New Hartford to Meetin' — I make a grate Sensation, and then I GO Hum— I hear of my maternal Mother's Death — and at her Grave I write a fugitive Fragment 123 CHAPTER XI. JaBEZ SPRIGGINS comes once more to see me — I DISCOVER MY AFFECTION FOE HIM — HE proposes, LIKE LORD MORTIMER — I WRITE SOME BLANK POITRY — 1 GO TO UTICA AND GET MARRIED, AND THEN I DON'T SAY NO MOKE 133 MARY ELMER, OR TRIALS AND CHANGES. CHAPTER I. Mrs. Lee — Mrs. Grant and her Daughter Susan Elmer . 143 CHAPTER II. Mi:s Lee's Visit to Mrs. Elmer 156 CHAPTER III. Mrs. Lee's Departure- A Note, and Sam Ludlow . 170 CHAPTER IV. Mrs. Elmer's Hemoval, and a new Friend J78 CHAPTER V. Maky Elmer goes to live with Mrs. Smith 187 CHAPTER VI. A Day at Mrs. Smith's— the Dog Bounce *; . ' "Ti^ , . . . 199 CONTENTS. 7 CHAPTER VII. Jerusha's Stokt— a Change in Mks. Smith's^ domestic Akrangements .... 216 CHAPTER YIII. Mks. Smith receives a Call from a new Acquaintance 230 CHAPTER IX. Mary Elmer goes Home— a Funeral 244 CHAPTER X. A Dream, and a Walk in the Graveyard 253 CHAPTER XI. The Aid Society ona CHAPTER XII. Conclusion 276 MISCELLANEOUS. LETTERS FROM TIMBERVILLE .' ' 297 AUNT MAGWIRE'S ACCOUNT OF THE MISSION TO MUFFLETEGAWNY .... 345 GOING TO SEE THE PRESIDENT 36J BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION, j^^^HE favorable reception whicli itfie public gave to ^^^l^i the Widow Bedott Papers, by Mrs. F. M. Whitcher, has induced the publication of another volume of the works of the same author. It is a natural desire that we wish to know soraethino; of the personal history of those who have amused or in- terested us, and the reader feels a claim upon a favorite writer, kindred to the claims of friendship. For this reason, we have deemed it not inappropriate to accompany the present collection with a brief biographical sketch of their author. It might at first be supposed, that the life of one whose writings prove her to have possessed such a remarkable va- riety of talents, must furnish rich and abundant material for an extended memoir. But it must be borne in mind, that true '* genius" is often allied to great delicacy and re- serve of character. And thus while it was apjiarent to all who knew Mrs. Whitcher, that she was a person of supe- rior intellect, she was perhaps in every respect the oppo- site of all that we learn from the term, *' a strong-minded woman." And so singularly modest and unobtrusive (11) 12 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. were her habits, that her life might safely yield in variety of incident, to the humblest champion of woman's rights, or the most obscure victim of woman's wrongs. While her only claim to eminence is found in the re- markable genius which her writings display; a respect for that shrinking timidity with which she ever avoided publicity, seems to forbid us to do more than to dwell upon those features of her character which are in some degrf'.e the property of her readers, and our sketch, there- fore, will necessarily be meagre; but we shall enrich it with such extracts from her letters and her poems, as will give to the appreciative reader a better idea of her mental qualities than can be conveyed in any words of our own. Mrs. Frances Miriam Whitcher, was the daughter of Mr. Lewis Berry, and was born at Whitestown, Oneida County, New York, on the first day of November, 1811. This village shares with the township the name of its earliest settlers, and is one of the oldest, as well as one of the most beautiful villages In Central New York. That fine scenery which everywhere marks the valley of the Mohawk River, is spread out with particular magnifi- cence and beauty, in this immediate locality. The beauti- ful hills, the broad, luxuriant valley, and the gently flowing waters of the river, are among its natural attrac- tions, while the noble elms, which cast their grateful siiadows over its principal street, are a pleasant and per- petual memorial of those who might be truly termed its *' first families." In its earlier history, Whitestown was the shire town of Oneida County, and the courts being held here, added to its other attractions as a home for gentlemen of the BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 13 legal profession. Many whose names have been high in forensic distinction and brilliant upon the pages of his- tory, were then counted among its citizens, and gave to the social circle of that time a character for liberal culture and refined taste inferior to none in the State. Thus, fortunately, her early associations were such as not only furnished examples of superior mental excellence, but were well calculated to develop those germs of latent genius, the possession of which she showed even in child- hood. While yet only two years old, and ignorant of her al- phabet, she learned to recite long pieces of poetry, and very early began making rhymes herself. The first of these of which any record is preserved, is a parody on the familiar verses entitled "My Mother," which were common in the juvenile Readers of that time. The '' Grandfather" alluded to in the parcdy, was a member of her father's family, with whom the child was far from being a favorite. Her lines ran thus : — Who was it, when our friends were here, And in the room I did appear, Said, " This is Middy, she's our dear " ? My Grandfather. Who was it, when I swept the floor. Would make me sweep it o'er and o'er, And say, " Come back and sweep it more" My Grandfather, And when I let the platter fall, Who said, as loud as he could bawl, "Now just come back and break them all "? My Grandfather. A short time previous to the composition of this parody, o 14 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. when five years old, she made " her first pictorial ex- ploit," as she afterward termed it, by drawing the likeness of an old gentleman, who, by familiar, but not Intention- ally offensive joking, had Incurred her displeasure. The circumstance forms the subject of the first picture In a series of humorous sketches, which were made years afterward for a friend to whom she had promised an illus- trated volume of her life. Her first teacher seems to have been an antiquated maiden, who did not sufficiently gain her respect to escape her ridicule ; for we find her in the same series In many sketches, where the position evidently was not chosen for the benefit of the sitter. From this juvenile Institution she was promoted to the primary department of the village academy, where her mirth-loving propensities found a new and wider field for exercise, which she did not fail to improve ; for here noth- ing capable of a ludicrous construction escaped her deli- cacy to perceive, and ability to portray; and while this ''mischief" often brought her under discipline, her pun- ishments we find, in turn, made the subjects of her sketches — so emphatically did her ruling passion " grow by what it fed on." A better account of this may be learned from her own words, in a letter to Mrs. Alice B. Neal, a friend to whom she was known only through the medium of the pen, and the sympathy of kindred intellectual tastes. " Your last kind letter was very gratifying. The ac- quisition of a new friend is a source of great pleasure to me ; for I assure you that it has never been my lot to have many friends. You possess the happy faculty of drawing all hearts at once to you ; but I, unfortunately, BIOGRAPIIICAL INTRODUCTION. 1 ;3 do not. And I will tell you what I believe to be the secret of it : I received, at my birth, the undesirable gift of a remarkably strong sense of the ridiculous. I can scarcely remember the time when the neighbors were not afraid that I would ' make fun of them.' For indulmuir in this propensity, I was scolded at home, and wept over and prayed with, by certain well-meaning old maids in the neighborhood ; but all to no purpose. The only re- ward of their labors was frequently their likenesses drawn in charcoal and pinned to the corners of their shawls, with, perhaps, a descriptive verse below. Of course I had not many friends, even among my own playmates. And yet, at the bottom of all this deviltry, there was a warm, affectionate heart — if any were really kind to me, how 1 loved them ! " One little picture in the series alluded to from her *' ideal world," which has pleased us particularly, is en- titled *' The Adventure." It is thus described by herself, during a walk on the banks of the river about a mile from her home, — she related to her companions thus : — *' Once I was walking here, when 1 saw on that stump of a tree a beautiful Bible ail bound in gold lying open. I started to get it, when a little angel with shining wings came flying down towards it, and when- I reached the place the book was a heap of ashes, and the angel was gone." Her school education w^as completed in her native vil- lage, with the exception of some lessons in French, from a very superior teacher in the neighboring city of Utica, where she acquired a high proficiency in that language, but with an instinctive horror of affectation and display, she always avoided, both in conversation and in writing, the use of any foreign words or phrases. 16 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. In the art of drawing, In which she has left such abun- dant proof of her taste and skill, her only instruction was a few hints from a similarly gifted relative. In epistolary correspondence she particularly excelled, her pen gliding without an effort into rhyme, and making the most trivial occurrences attractive by her happy power of expression, as well as by the most life-like pen draw- ings, with which her letters are embellished, and in which she often introduced herself in some most ludicrous or preposterous manner. Nothing was allowed to escape her pencil or her pen, and even the every-day occurrences in a quiet family fur- nished material, which when embellished by her genius, became amusing and interesting. The following mock se- rious lines on the death of a pet crow, show her ability to mingle the ridiculous with the sublime : — No sig-h was heard, no tear was shed, And not a word was spoken, But the pale cheek and drooping head Told how their hearts were broken. There was no outward sign of woe, Though every hope had failed 'em, A, chance observer scarce would know That aught uncommon ailed 'em I Manhood and youth and age were there, Touched with the same deep sorrow; They thouglit of one whom they must bear To his barn-yard grave, to-morrow. There in an old tin pan he lay. The once beloved and cherished ; Alas, how soon he passed a^yay, How cruelly he perished I BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 1.7 And one was there, once gay and Bpry, 'Twas one that did adore him; A maniac glare was in her eye, She silently bent o'er him. She loved the dear departed crow Like dearest friend, or brother, And watched his infant graces grow. Just like some tender mother. Love, like some tender flower of earth, Long in her heart had wasted ; Tom, like the sun, had called it forth, And death, like winter, blasted. Her grief was silent, dark, and deep, For, oh, she loved him, dearly ; 'Tis never those who loudest weep, That sorrow most sincerely. There is a grief that dwells within,— A grief beyond my telling ; When all the outward man grows thin, But oh, the heart keeps swelling. They tied his feet with cotton yarn, And to his grave they bore him ; They buried him low behind the barn, And stuck two shingles o'er him. Then burst the torrent of her grief, That long had lain concealed ; Her inward woes found some relief, In being thus revealed. " Oh never more," she wildly cried, " His cheerful voice shall greet me j He'll never wander by my side. He'll never fly to meet me. " He used to get upon my chair When I was busy sewing j 2* iS BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. And tangle up my braided hair, Almost without my knowing. " He used to steal my knitting sheath, His legs were wondrous nimble, And once I ducked him most to death For carrying olT my thimble, " But let his faults forg-otten be. For he has gone forever ; His like again we ne'er shall see, Oh, never I never 1 1 never ! ! 1 " Some words of comfort then I said, In vain those words Avcre spoken ; Dsspondingly she shook her head, — 1 knew her heart was broken. The views and opinions of John Calvin were believed and taught more than any other system of religious doctrine, in her native village at that time ; and she was baptized in infancy, early instructed in the shorter cate- chism, and while yet in her teens, was, at tlie close of a revival, received into membership with the Presbyterian Church, a connection which was for many years retained. Her religious feeling and attachments at this time are very pleasantly recorded in her lines on the removal of the old church. All silently the twilight falls. This ancient temple round, And mournfully within these walls My echoing footsteps sound. Well may this heart with sorrow swell. These tears of sorrow flow, I come to breathe a last farewell, A last sad look bestow. BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 19 No more shall bands of brethren meet Within this hallowed place, To worship at a Saviour's feet, And seek a Saviour's face. No more the inquiring crowd shall press To learn the road to heaven; Nor here the bleeding heart find peace, The mourner feel forgiven . No more the word of life shall fall From hearts with love that burn, Nor truth invite, nor mercy call The wanderer to return. No longer here shall music roll Its thrilling strains along. Nor pure devotion lift the soul, In union with the song. Here often hath my God revealed His goodness and His power ; But now, old Church, thy doom is sealed, And thou must be no more. I stand alone within these walls ; There is no being nigh To check the bitter tear that falls, Or chide the rising sigh. I weep, dear consecrated spot, That thou must cease to be. And oft, full oft, when thou art not. Shall memory turn to thee. 1 love thy sacred aisles I — 'twas here Where first my footsteps trod. And mother gave, with holy fear. That little one to God. And oh ! 'twas here that awful vow, To be the Lord's, was spoken ! 20 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. The painful thought comes o'er me now, How oft that vow I've broken. Alas I my soul, how oft thy wings, E'en in the house of God, Have sunk 'neath vain imaginings. And kissed earth's fleeting clod. * I love this place I While musing here On pleasures known no more, Some pleasant thoughts of former years Float my lone spirit o'er. Here I was wont to sit with some 1 loved in childhood's day ; Many are in the silent tomb, And many far away. Here have I gazed with tearful eye, Upon the death-cold brow Of some whose spirits dwell on liigh, Wliose forms are mould'ring low. Perchance e'en now tliat sainted throng, Those spirits of tlie dead. May glide these ancient aisles among, Where they were wont to tread. Methinks they've left those realms of light And glory, wliere they dwell, And hover o'er this place to-night, That once they loved so well. And many forms remembered well, And once most dear to me. Who long have ceased on earth to dwell, Among that band I see. Methinks I see that blest one, too, So lovely and so dear ; Who, scarce one little month ago, Was sweetly singing here. BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 21 Young Harriet, who with dying breath, Tlie Saviour's love confessed. Exulting raised a song in death, And, swan-like, sunk to lest. Sweet spirit I lift tliat tuneful voice As thou wert wont of yore, Let these devoted walls rejoice In thy sweet strains once more. 'Tis gone ! The heav'nly train is flown ! The sweet illusion fades ! And I am musing here alone, 'Mid evening's gath'ring shades. Farewell! doomed temple of the Lord, For thee ray tears shall flow ; 1 grieve to speak the parting word; With ling'riug steps I go. What, though upon this sacred spot A statelier pile 1 see ; Dear house of God, when thou art not, Shall memory turn to thee. Later in life she found in the doctrines and teachings of the Protestant Episcopal Church, a system of religion more congenial with her taste, and more in harmony with her judgment. In person Mrs. Whitcher was above the medium heiglit, erect in figure, stately in her walk, with an air of reserve and dignity. Her large dark eyes were full of expression and soft liquid light. Her hair of glossy black was al- ways kept in the most tasteful and careful manner, while her dress showed scrupulous neatness, and was character- ized more by an absence of bad taste, than by any effort at effect in its arransrement. o One who often met her has said in our hearing, 22 BIOGRAFIIICAL INTRODUCTION. *' It seemed to me Mrs. Whitcher always wore the same dress," a remark that shows that she apj^reclated that sen- sible maxim, that '' to be well dressed, a lady's attire should be so arranged as never to excite a thought." She possessed a high degree of conversational ability in the circle of congenial friends ; their presence seemed to inspire her, and to develop many little graces and at- tractions which the first critical glance frightened away, so much that among strangers and ordinary acquaintances, she became reserved and timid to a degree which was often regarded as haughtiness and pride, or a sense of conscious superiority. But amid the genial circle of fa- miliar friends, her eye brightened with intelligence, her features glowed with enthusiasm, while the liquid and har- monious flow of her words possessed almost the charming power of music. The story of the Widow Spriggins was among the ear- lier productions of her pen, and was originally written for '* The Majonian Circle," a social and literary association, sustained by persons of taste and ability. The liter- ary productions of the Circle were presented to its mem- bers in the form of a paper, which was for some time called " The Momus," a name which it fully merited. Among the members oF the Circle, however, there were some who deemed the paper too much devoted to " the harmless comedy of life," and it was accordingly changed in name, and somewhat in character, to " The Mi\3onian." The circumstances form the subject of an article from tlie "Ma3onian," which may be found in the present volume. The Widow Spriggins' articles were afterward favor- ably, though not very extensively, introduced to the pub- lic by Mr. Calvert Comstock, late editor of the Albany BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 2o Argus, who was at that time editing a weekly paper at Eome, New York, and was a personal friend of their author. She received no pecuniary compensation for any of her articles, until the summer of 1846, when she became a regular contributor to '* Neal's Saturday Gazette." Its editor, who was a humorist of acknowledged ability, highly appreciated the genius of his contributor. But neither his enthusiastic praise, nor the flattering reception with which her productions were received by its readers, could overcome her habitual self-distrust and timidity. In a letter accompanying one of the Bedotts, she says : — *' I fear criticism ; I fear ' the world's dread laugh.' I fear a repulse, a ftillure ; there are a thousand things to make me shrink from taking a step which may look like courting publicity; and I assure you, nothing but the hope of one day reaping some pecuniary benefit, induces me to offer myself as a contributor to your paper." On the sixth of January, 1847, she was married to the Eev. B. W. Whitcher, and In the following spring re- moved to Elmira, Chemung County, where Mr. Whitcher assumed the pastoral care of St. Peter's church. The following playful rhyming letter, written during her husband's temporary absence from home, a few days after their marriage, may not be Inappropriate here. I will weave an idle rhyme, dear, A simple rhyme for thee, For it seems a weary time, dear, Since yester morn to me. It seems a long, lonr^ while, dear, That I've been left alone ; And 1 miss thy cheerful smile, dear, And I miss thy kindly tone. 24 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. Through the busy morning hours, dear, I've missed thy cheering word ; While I watered all the flowers, dear, And fed the little bird. I've been busy in your study, dear, And made it nice and neat. But I found it rather muddy, dear, (Why don't you clean your feet ?) Your books and papers all, dear, I've arranged the nicest way ; Your bump of order's small, dear, It grieves me quite to say. Ere you've been here a day, dear, 'Twill look as bad as ever, Don't say I'm Candling, pray, dear, For I never mean to — never. It was a real pleasure, dear. To fix each tumbled shelf. And each old dud a treasure, dear, It looked so like yourself. I've been talking with my mother, dear, And with my father, too. With my sisters and my brothers, dear, And still the theme was you. The weary day has flown, dear, 'Tis silent evening now. And I am all alone, dear. But, Willie, where art thou ? And how employed? not smoking, dear, Good gracious I if you sliould, — But surely you were joking, dear. When you threatened that you would. Good-night — good-night I God blesa thee, My dearest and my best ; May no dark dreams oppress thee, But angels guard thy rest : BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 25 From every pain and Borrow, dear, To guard thy precious life, And bring- thee back to-morrow, dear, To thy true and loving wife. Her peculiar traits of character were not particularly adapted to her hew sphere of life ; her retiring and re- served disposition illy qualified her for a position which makes so great demand upon the demonstrative sympa- thies, as that of a clergyman's wife. And, although she found in Elmira a few whose friendship and kindness wxre ever held in grateful remembrance, the greater number of her new acquaintances regarded her with distrust and suspicion ; and her greatest pleasure was found in her domestic relations. As a wife, she was ever kind and thoughtful, placing a high estimate upon her marriage duties, requiring the most refined and exalted tenderness, which it was her constant aim to inspire. In Elmira the * ' Bedott Papers " were continued and completed. The *'Aunt Maguire Letters," published in Godey's Lady's Book, were written here, and a series in a different style under the name of " Letters from Timber- ville " were begun, which her death left incomplete. A few of the first chapters of the story of Mary Elmer were also written at this place. Though Mrs. Whitcher's literary reputation will perhaps most particularly be identified with her humorous works, she has left in her little poems and sketches and in the graver composition of Mary Elmer, abundant proof that she was not confined, in the range of her genius, to anyone department of literature, but might have gained a brilliant reputation in the various walks of authorship. Those who have known her heretofore only as the author of mirth- 3 26 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. provoking productions, will find with surprise the depth, tenderness, and spiritual beauty which her more serious writings reveal. Possessing at the same time an eye for the ridiculous, a sense of the grotesque ,in combination, and the quaint in character, with a genuine love of the beauti- ful, and admiration of the grand, her productions liad power not only to please the fancy, but to satisfy the higher wants of the mind. Even her humorous articles do not stand upon their wit alone as their chief merit ; true, they make you laugh, and thus they answer the true test of their excellence in this respect. And the Widow Bedott might have graduated as the very worst speller in the ' ' bad spel- ling " school of literature so popular at the present day, but her humor was always the vehicle of sense ' * to point a moral or adorn a tale," and even when the widow discour- ses ''on punkins," she reads a wholesome homily to the troublesome neighbor who " borroweth and repayeth not again." As an appreciative critic has said, " There is as clear delineation of character in these wTitin^^s as in the works of Dickens or Thackeray. They are the cleverest, as w^ell as the most popular of any articles of the kind by an Amer- ican author. Those doomed perforce to immortality by the hand now stilled forever, should be satisfied that they have secured what so many have labored assiduously to obtain." Saxe finds *« it is a very serious thing to be a funny man," and Mrs. Whitcher found it ^' a very serious thing " to be a funny woman. Few writers since the days of Coleridge have been so much at the same time the subject of panegyric by their friends and of censure from tlicir enemies ; for while the reading public were convulsed with BIOGRAPniCAL INTRODUCTION. 27 laughter over the inimitable drollery and cleverness of her sketches, and editors were eagerly striving to secure the popularity which her contributions commanded in whatever publication they appeared, their author was being assailed with the greatest vituperation and personal insult from those who fancied they had unwittingly furnished models for her sketches ; and in one instance Mr. Whitcher was threatened by a man with legal prosecution for damages, which Mrs. Samson Savage had done to characteristics which he fancied belonged exclusively to his wife, and other less prominent characters were zealously searched out and applied, as many an indignation meeting could witness. *' This means you," and "this means such a one," they said, as each fitted the garment to a neighbor's back, while all united in aiming resentment at the author with as much anger as if she had labelled their parcels with their individ- ual names. So high indeed ran the tide of angry feeling that it soon became apparent that Mr. Whitcher's usefulness as a clergyman would find fewer obstacles in some other parish. Such a result was entirely unanticipated by Mrs. Whitcher. Her characters were not designed simply to represent individuals, but were types of diiFerent classes ; and however closely they may apply to particular persons, it is illiberal to so universal a genius as hers as to attempt to confine its application simply to one locality. But not in Elmira alone were hunted up originals for her portraits. A few weeks after the publication of the sewing society articles, Mrs. Whitcher wrote thus to a friend : — "It is an amusing fact that several villages are con- tending for the honor of being the birth-place of ' Mrs. Samson Savage.' A man from a village in County 28 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. came into one of the bookstores the other clay to get some * Lady's Books/ saying that they were all alive about it in his place, because they had a * Mrs. Samson Savage ' there. And we have heard from , a village twenty miles distant, that they have fitted the coat to a woman there." And yet j\Irs. Samson Savage and Mrs. J. Pixley Smith are only representatives of that large class w^here ignorance and vulgarity are only made more conspicuous by wealth. Sam Ludlow is a character by far too common in r6al life ; an unruly son of a ruling deacon ; while Per- milla Spriggins is but a pitiful illustration of the eifect of the continual reading of love stories on vain and weak- minded girls. Almost any one can find ** a Hugelina," a would-be-literary character among their own acquaintances, however limited the circle may be. It is true Mrs. Whitcher has been charged with satir- izing, in some of her characters, things which should be held sacred from ridicule. But whether Sam Ludlow ' ' gets religion " for the purpose of getting hold of the *' old man's" purse-strings, or the Widow Bedott resorts to Elder Sniffles for religious instruction with habeas cor- p2is intentions in her mind ; if we examine closely we find that it is only where selfishness and hypocrisy steal the cloak of piety, that they are held up and made at once odious and ridiculous. Few lives have perhaps furnished better examples of sin- cere piety and devotion than hers. That rare humility of which we have already spoken, was not only a part of the ornament of ** a meek and quiet spirit," but of one scrupu- lous in the conscientious discharge of duty. She not only loved the public services of the church, but was constant BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 29 and faithful in those devotions which receive the promise of " Him who seeth in secret." The following lines written during a period of suflPerlng, show how well she had learned that hardest of all Christian lessons, resignation to the solemn ascription, *« Thy will be done." Afflict me, Father ; let thy heavy rod Fall on my sinful head ; I would not shun the sufferings of my God, Whose blood for me was shed. Afflict me, Father; I will take the cross Unmurmuringly and still, By thy good help; and bear all earthly loss, If I may do thy will. Ay, slay me, Father, and I will not fear The coming of Death's dart. If I may see the Lord's kind angel near, To strengthen my weak heart. Not only in religious duties, but in the offices of friend- ship was she eminently uniform and faithful, and a good impression once made upon her feelings was enduring. In illustration of this tenacity of feeling, we insert a letter which was written not many years before her death, and which refers to an aifection, of which *' Time but the im- pression stronger made." This letter was addressed to the same person as the one from which our former extract was made. *' I was quite alone all last evening, and my mind wan- dered to you. I cannot tell why it is, but your idea is always associated in my imagination with a dear sister of mine, who died at sixteen, when I was only five years old. 3* 30 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. I recollect her perfectly. They say she was a genius ; and I remember that she was beautiful and joyous, and always o-Qod to me. I loved her better than any one else. She used to put me every night in my little crib, and sit and tell me stories till I went to sleep, and hear me say my prayers and little hymns. She had a thousand winning ways. There was one pretty mark of love that seems very pleasant to me now as I look back to it. She used often to reward me for being good, by putting some trifle under my pillow after I was asleep, and it made me so happy to wake in the morning and find it. How easy it is to please a child ! " This sweet sister took more pains with me than any- body else ever did. It was a great calamity that I lost her. Yet I have always felt that there was still a bond between us. When I was little, I used to dream of her almost every night, and, as I grew older, I thought about her a great deal. In my lonely rambles, I often fancied that she called me ; even now I sometimes think I can hear her distinctly pronounce my name in the night. I know not why it is so, but I fancy that you are like her. I was thinking of it last evening as I sat alone, and I threw aside my sewing and scratched down these simple verses to you. View them, dear , not us poetry ^ but as a little token of affection." Of the " verses " here mentioned, we will select two, as illustrative of her attachment to the memory of her sister, and of her belief in the intimate union between departed spirits and their friends on earth : — True, some will call it faucy's fliglit, And say it ne'er can be, That in the wakeful hours of niglit An angel speaks to me. BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 31 <* The wondrous and mysteriouB ties Some hearts can never know, That link the loved in paradise With those they love below." Another little poem addressed to the same sister ran thus : — MY SISTER. Would I were sleeping on thy peaceful breast, Friend of my infant years ! Thou who couldst lull my wayward heart to rest. And soothe my childish fears. Oh, 'tis a blessed thing like thee to die Before the dark hours come I Before the light reflected from on high Is lost in earthly gloom. Peace to thee, bud of paradise I expand In the Lord's garden; there, The flowers are nurtured by the Almighty hand To bloom in heavenly air. Look down on me, O sister ! think of me, By sin and suffering tost; Lonely and sad ray heart turns back to thee. So loved 1 so early lost I In the autumn of 1850, Mrs. Whitcher returned to Whitestown. Her literary labors had been almost sus- pended during the year just passed, as her time had been occupied in the care of her infant daughter. Few women have discharged with higher appreciation or greater love their maternal duties, than was now shown in her devotion to her child. Her health, which had for some time been delicate, now began more perceptibly to fail, and the symp- 32 BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. toms of the consumption, which for a long time had hung like a threatening shadow over her, now made tlieir pres- ence more apparent. Still she declined to receive medical aid, feeling reluctant to begin a contest where the struggle 2:)romised to be long, and the result uncertain. It soon became apparent to those who loved her that it was, " The little rift within the lute, That by and by should make its music mute And slowly widening, silence all the sound I " Prompted by maternal affection, she applied herself to making her child's wardrobe, and, as opportunity offered, resumed her labor on the story of ]\Iary Elmer. It had long been her intention to write something in a graver style than anything which she had hitherto offered to the public. Much as she excelled in the comic vein, we think it was not chosen to gratify her own taste or inclina- tion, for in one of her letters written from Elmira, she says, " I am heartily sick of Bedotting and Maguiring, and only wish I could be as well paid for more sensible matter." She would no doubt have found more pleasure in the exercise of a higher and purer taste, but lier inclina- tion was overruled by circumstances. The intense pathos of Mary Ehner may have been heightened by the fact that it was written during a period of physical suffering, but it proves that its author possessed as great power over the patlietic as the risible emotions of the reader, and like the "immortal bard "when she chose to'* come no more to make you laugh," possessed equal ability to present " such solemn scenes as cause the eye to How." Like many other humorists, her natural tendency was more to melancholy than to mirth, and wc learn from one BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. 33 who loved her, that her pen which was employed so suc- cessfully for the amusement of others, was often guided by an eye dim with unshed tears. Although, like Hood, she had found the public ear more open to melodies than to maladies, with him she felt that '* a life "of mere laughter is like music without its bass, or a picture of vague unmitigated light, while an occasional melancholy is like those rich old glooms of Rembrandt." The pathos of Mary Elmer was as easy to her pen as the humor of Spriggins or Bedott ; for her gifts were like song to the bird, or perfume to the flower; and thus, the success of her wTitings does not depend upon her energy, for she was easily discouraged, and always self-distrusting, while her humility kept her always from self-assertion, and often from effort. Thus her life became one of obser- vation, rather than of action ; and to the last her literary productions were cast doubtingly upon the uncertain stream of public favor. She never showed any undue devotion to the material and practical, and seemed strangely unconscious of the possession of those talents, which, if united with greater worldly wisdom, might earlier have brought her the grateful reward of fame, as well as those more tang- ible returns which the world counts as the criterion of success. That remarkable sagacity with which she appreciated the springs of human passion, and which with such rare perspicuity her writings display, she seldom brought into working use, for she was credulous and unsuspecting in a marked degree. The story of Mary Elmer, on which she bestowed her 34: BIOGRAPHICAL INTRODUCTION. last lltemry labor, was left unfinished. The last letter she ever penned was one which accompanied some chapters of her manuscript to her publisher, and was written only three weeks before her death. From it we make an ex- tract : — *'I never sent off a manuscript so unsightly as this. But I can do no better. You will see that it bears evi- dence to the trembling hand and miserable body sustained by opiates. Oh, the horrid stuff! There would never be any danger of my becoming an opium-eater from choice. I hope the compositor will not be utterly confounded. I send three chapters, and the rest will be forthcoming as soon as circumstances will permit. I have been very de- sirous to finish this story, probably the last I shall write. And I trust there will be nothing in it ' which, dying, I should wish to blot.' Perhaps Mr. may think the style too plain and homely. I have been so anxious to avoid the grandiloquent style of many of our female story writei-s, that I may have gone too far the other way. I have become so entirely disgusted with that sort of com- position applied to the commonest and most trifling sub- jects, as w^ell as to those more important, that I never have patience to get through an article of that descrip- tion." Her manuscript has been carefully preserved by jNlr. Whitcher, and it was not until after repeated efforts to qq\ it completed by others had fiiiled, that the present writer attempted the task of "ending," not to say *' finishing" it, not unconscious of the presumption with which the act miglit be regarded by many, for one without literary ex- perience, or even literary ambition, to attempt to add to anything a genius like hers had left incomplete, yet anx- BIOGRArmCAL INTRODUCTION. 35 ious to give to usefulness a little tale which seemed quite too good to be lost. After sending away her last letter, her health began to fail more rapidly, and her time was devoted to more im- mediate preparation for death. Jeremy Taylor's Holy Living and Dying was now her constant companion, as it had been a solace and comfort in hours of health. She received with humility the holy communion, and all the consolations which the Church of England has in store for her departing children. ' The sun which rose on the fifth anniversary of her bridal day, shed its last rays into the room where she lay clothed in the bridal robes of death. With the solemn ser- vice of the Church she had so much loved, they committed her body to the dust. In the rural grave-yard of her native village, in the little enclosure where lie those to whom she was connected by family ties, and beside the sister for whose companion- ship she had so long and fondly yearned, she rests. And who can say but in *' those heavenly habitations where the souls of them that sleep in the Lord Jesus enjoy per- petual felicity," their spirits are united in nearer and purer ties, as in communion with the saints beneath the altar, they join in the solemn anthem, «* How long, O Lord," as in earnest hope they wait the final benediction. In accordance with her own humble wishes, her name and age on a little tablet is all that marks her resting- place. But in the hearts of those who loved her as a friend, and admired her as an author, is written a brighter and more enduring word of her virtues than can be traced by the pen of the biographer, or graven in the eloquence of sculptured marble. M* L. W. WIDOW SPRIGGINS. WIDOW SPRIGGINS. CHAPTER I. ♦« They called me blue-eyed Mary, When frinds and fortin smiled, But oh 1 how fortius vary, I now am sorrer's child ! " Old Song. WAS born in Podunk, a charmin' and sequesterated villidge on the banks of the morantic and meander- in' Mohawk. My father's name was Nathan Rug- gles ; he was an emigranter from Vermount, and he married a Dutch young woman by the name of Vine Hoo-obome, a natyve of Podunk. I was the oldest of ten childern, five boys and five gearls. The boys was Nadab and Abihu, (twins,) Cornelus, Bemas, and Gad. The gearls was Permilly, (that's me,) Mirtilly, Ketury, (that's a Dutch name,) Axy, and Vine. But I was the flower of the family. Pve heern my mother tell that I was a won- derful cretur from the time I was knee high to a hop-toad. Afore I was 10 year old I knowd eny most all the primmer, and I could say them are vasses in't clean from " In Adam's fall," to " Zaccheus he did climb the tree,'' without missin' a word. And when I want but fourteen I knowd by heart, all that are gret long piece of poitry that John Rogers writ jest afore he was burnt to a stake. (39) 40 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. When I was about sixteen our folks sent me to Miss Van Dusen's boardino^-scbool to Scaticoke. She was a cousin of my mother, and whilst I was there besides lair- nin' all monner of 'complishments I took a mazin' notion to readin' and red Rosabelly, and Alviry, and the Childern of the Abby all through. Well, arter stay in' tliere three months I went hum, and at my departer Miss Van Dusen give me the Childern of the Abby, 'cause 'twas my favoryte book and I was her favoryte puj^pil, — tellin' on me to read it cerfully and 'twould improve my taste and under- standin' amazin'ly. Well, I returned to the poternal niif, and I tell ye I was a touch above the vulgar, but I'd or'to tell ye how I looked. My hair was of that lovely hue that folks calls red and novils calls auburn. Sometimes I suffered it to flow cerlessly over my alagaster sholders, and sometimes I con- fined It on the tip top of my head with a quill. My face was considerated imminently honsome. My figger was on- common greaceful, and I had a gret deal of dignitude. But more 'n all that, I writ poitry of the first order, and was called the biggest genyus in Podunk. I knowd I was a touch above the vulgar, as I said afore, and so I kept myself putty scerce. I didn't let nun of the fellers come within gunshot of me tho' there want one there but what would a jumped sky high to git me, but I didn't incurridge 'em, for I was detairmincd I wouldn't give my afl^ections to nobody that didn't look like Lord Mortimer, him that tlie Childern of the Abby tells about, and nun of the young men in Podunk want no touch to him, for the biggest part on em was amazin' fleshy and he want. Well, a number on 'cm arter a spell plukt up curridge to make up to me. There was Bonypart Bugglns, a risin' farmer, he took arter WID W SPRIG GINS. 4 1 me consairnedly. One arternoon I was a sittin' under a tree in the orchard readin' in the Childern of the Abby, and 1 tho't I heern a noise, so I lookt up, and lo and be- hold 'twas Bony part leanin' agin a stump. <' Your sarvent," says he. I gin him an all-to-pieces stiiF bow, and went on continuyin' readin', — at last says he, — " Miss Euojdes." CO *'Hold yer tongue," says I. ** Ye needn't be so ferce," says he. Then 1 riz right up and says I, " What do ye mean by contrudin' yer pesky presence on ray solitary medifications, hay ? If 'twant for disgracin' this ere book I'd heave it at yer head." So he cleared out considerble skeart and never bothered me no more. And there was another young man in our town by the name of Yokop Van Snorter, a marchant, that lived nigh by, makin' money and doin' well. There want a gearl in Podunk but what would a had him ony me, and I was the ony one he took a notion tew. But he was as fat as a boss, and more 'n all that he had such a name 'twas enuf to dizgust me. VYell, he was kinder timersome and darsent speak to me, so he writ me a " billydux," (that are's the French for loveletter,) I can't remember edjackly how 'twas supprest, ony I know he writ how't he loved me better'n sour crout or flitters, or anything on airth, and wanted me to marry him right off. Now in all the novils I'd read, nun of the young men didn't make a supposition in sich a stile, so I jist took it and writ on t'other side o'nt, — * * You gret unheerd of Dutch lubber ; ye don't know how to tell a young woman the state of yer feeiins, and if ye did 4 2 WW W SPRIG GINS. I wouldn't have ye nor touch to, so ye may glv up yer en- devers." I sent the letter over by my little brother Gad, and tliat evenin' we were all a sittin' round the kitchin fire, mother a dippin' candles, Nadab and Abihu twistin' nut- cakes, and Mirtilly a fry in' on 'em, Bemas and Ketury knit- tin', (my mother eddicatcd all her childern jest alike. She didn't aprove of havin' the boys do all the out-door work and the gearls all the housork, so in the arternoon the gearls went out and helpt the boys chop wood and hoe taturs, &c., and in the evenin' the boys cum in and helpt the gearls do up the chores,) but I was a readin, I never had nothin' to do with k^tchinary consairns, for I reckoned and mother reckoned tew, that a young woman that had been to boardin'-school a^d lairnt phizziology, and trigge- ology, and astreology, besides painthi' and monners, shouldn't or'to do no housork, and I never read in no novil of a herowine that washed dishes and fried nutcakes, and so forth. Amandy Malviny Fitzalen didn't do't, and I was detairmlned I wouldn't do't, tho' fixther used to jaw me about it, for he never had no sense of properiety. But I didn't think 'twas any disparagation to resist motlier in sup- perintendin' the childern, for I reckoned 'twas quite interest- in' to teach their young ideas how to fire, as Poke says, and the evenin' I speak on I'd jest ben puttin' Cornelus and Gad, and Axy and Vine, to bed in the trundle-bed, and was beseated readin' in Cecely, (a novil belong! n' to a na- ber of ourn,) when father came in and says he to me, says he, *' Milly," — says I, *' Sir ! " " Come up chomber," says he, *' I want to see ye a minnit." So I shot up my interestin novil with a sythe and follered my force and grumpy lookin' pay rent. When we got up chomber he shot the door and says he, "Milly," — says I, "Sir," WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 43 saj^s he, *' Yer a darn fool." ** Be, hay," says I, ** what for?" "Why," says he, '* I've been over to Van Snorter's store, and he told me all about that are mean dirty trick you've ben a sarvin' him, with tears in his eyes. If you'd a writ him a decent letter tellin' on him you couldn't marry him, it wouldn't a ben so bad ; but even then you'd a ben a fool, for you'll never git sich another chance, — but to send him sich a sassy, crusty mess of stuff; why you'd or'to be flogged for't. I tell'd him if I was him I never'd speak to ye agin, — but he says he takes arter ye yit, and wants me to perswade ye to have him, and I tell ye ye'd better do't." **What!" exclamigated I, "me have York Van Snorter? why, he don't look no^^nore like Lord Mortimer than a back-log does ! You may manure me in the most gloomiest dunjin in Podunk, — you may deny me the en- fuence of the survivin' atmosphere, — you may deprive me of every gratication in life, but you will never conduce me to giv my willin' consent except agin my inclination, to be led to the Hymonian alter by a bein' I can't bestow my hull affections on, so I boseech on ye not to speak of him 5? ' AVell, I don't know now," says father says he, whether ye mean ye'll have him or not." "No, never!" exclamigated I, "I never can be hissen ! " "You aint half-witted," says he, "them are plaguy novils you've been a diggin' at's used up what little sense ye had afore, — yer a standin' in yer own light, and I'll let ye know I aint a guayne to have ye cut up any more of yer capers." So sayin' he w^ent off and I begun tearin' my hair and la- 44 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. mentin' my sorrers the wost way. Putty soon Mirtilly and Ketury heern me, and they come up. ** Massy sakes ! " says Mirtilly, '* what's to pay ? " *' Gracious ! " says Ketury, *' what under the sun ails ye?" ** What ails me?" says I. " Ax the ragin' oshun when its flambero-astcd billers rolls hisfh what ails it? Ax the stormy sky when kivered with thunderin' clouds what ails it? but ax not me what ails me, — my woes is incompre- hensible and uncombounded. I am surrounded on all sides with miseries, and attackted on every hand by distractions. A cruel and torranical father thretens me witli his ever- lastin' vengcnce if I don't marry an imadmyrable Dutch josey ! Oh happy Mirtilly ! , Oh unsofisticated Ketury ! ye hant no notion of the sorrers of the most onfortinate of creturs ! " " How much she talks like a book," says Ketury. *' How much she talks like a fool," says Mirtilly, and off she went to bed. But Ketury was more feelin', and she staid a spell and tried to comfort me. **But," says I, "leave me, Oh leave me alone in my desperation, and go and seek * tired natur's sweet restorer.' " So- Ketury went out and putty soon she cum back and brung a gret hunk of candy to riie. " Offer me no candy," jackleated I. Says she, ** Why you tell'd me to git ye something sweet to the store, and when I tell'd Van Snorter how't it was for you he wouldn't take no pay." '* Go back," says I, *« misunderstandin' child, and throw it at his head." So she went, and when she cum into the store she huv it as hard as ever she could right into Van Snorter's face, and made his nose bleed. Onfortinately, WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 45 father he was in there, tho' she didn't see him, and when she hiav the candy he jumped up and grabbed her afore she had time to get away, cryin' out *' What do ye mean, ye little wretch? " Says she, *' Permilly tell'd me to do it." So father he cum right strait home and into the chomber with a cowhide in his fist, an(J says he, *< You'll sup sorrer, I tell ye, for that are caper of yourn." So sayin' he cum at me, but I jumped over the bed, and afore he could hit me, I got outside the door, and strapt it so 's he couldn't git out, ' — then I ketcht my bunnit and shawl, stuffed the Childern of the Abby in my pocket, went to father's chist and hookt his leather money puss, and was out of the house in a minnit. I see Ketury a cryin' by the gate, and says I, " Go in and tell mother that I've absquandered to the world's eend, and tell her not to have father let out in 3 hours, if she vallys my everlastin' peace of mind." So say- in' I huv my arms round Ketury and giv a partin' kiss and then *' like a fair lily surcharged with tears,"* I run acrost the meadys and fields till I cum to a tavern about five miles from Podunk. I axed 'em if I mut lodge tliere, and they said I mought, and says I to the lonlady, " Good dame, give me a department alone by myself, for I desire to ponderate, unseen by vulger eyes, on the heft of misft)r- tins that oppresses me." *' What is't ye want?" says the ignorant cretur. Says I, ** Giv me a room alone, and fetch me a candle, and sum ink, and sum paper, and a pen. So she did, and I couldn't but admire to think how much my sittyation was like Amandy's when she was so druv, and arter collectin' my ideas, I writ the follerin vasses. I reckon their considerble touchin'. * Childern of the Abby. 46 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. Dear me I no cretur ever had So many dretful strugi^les — No gearl was ever half so sad, As poor rermilly Ruggles. The cruel Jlr. Haggles druv Away his charmin' dorter, Jest because she couldn't love The pesky York Van Snorter. I won't commit self-suicide, Because it's so unhuman ; But oh ! I wish I had a died Afore I was a woman. Arter I'd writ this poim, thinks me, — well, what's to be did now? Arter considerin' a spell, I concludid to take the stage in the mornin' and perceed to the town of Hig- gins Patent, where my fjither had a sister livin', married to a Mr. Jorrocks, a forehanded farmer. He was dretful poor when he fust took arter aunt Huldy, and Ijer payrents wouldn't consent to her havin' on him, so they got married unbeknown to nobody but the^justice and sot right off for Higgins Patent. For a spell grandfer Ruggles wouldn't speak to her, but when uncle Jonah begun to be well to do they made all up, and went a visitin' to see each other. So in the mornin' I paid the damage, got into the stage and travilled tew days and tew nights till I arrove to Hig- gins Patent. "When we drove up to aunt Jorrocks's door, the driver he hulloed and out run uncle Jonah rubbin' his eyes, for 'twant but 4 o'clock in the mornin'. Aunt she stuck her head out of the winder to see who'd come, and when slie rccognatcd me she was 'maziii' glad, for Inever'd ben tlicre afore, and I was a gret favoryte of hern. But tliey was dretful astoundered when they see I liadn't no baiTiridire, and when we went in the house I tell'd 'em the hull description of my leavin' hum from beginnin' to eend. WIDOW SPRIGGINS. 47 Aunt Huldy said I'd did right, and uncle Jonah said he hoped 'twas all for the best. " And now, my dear rel- atyves," says I, " I want to* keep in a retired state of con- dition, and don't want no livin' cretur but you tew to know I'm here till I can send hum and git my clus,'* (for I hadn't nothin' but the gownd I had on with me, and that was a yeller callcer every day one.) But I guess I've writ enuf for a chapter. In my next I'll conform ye what happened to me whilst I was a resider at Higgins Patent. CHAPTER II. " And while that charmin' voice I hear, AndAvhilst them lovely eyes I see — Angelic maid, forever dear To my fond bussom shalt thou be." Unbeknown. RTER breckfust (I didn't eat much — only a few slapjacks — Amandy couldent eat much when she was in distress, no more couldn't I), arter breck- fust I sot down and WTit the follerin' pistle to my father : '' Cruil hut reverated fallier — Your onfortinate dorter now takes her pen in hand to conform you that she is to Uncle Jorrocks's, obleejed by your uncumparelled cruil ty to elope from thti hum of her youthood and seek a sylum in a distant section of region. The only thing that supports me in my trials is the consolin' circumflexion that I have 48 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. did right in refusin' to unite my fute to a cretur I didn't belove and adore. As I intend to make Higgins Patent my natyve place for a spell, ye needn't suspect to see me to Podunk very soon. And I desire you to send me some money ; and if you ain't as tight as the bark to a tree, you'll send me more'n there was in your old puss when I took it. It didn't much more'n pay the travellin' damage, and I want sum more for I desire to add some additions to my library. Tell my darlin' mother to put up all my wardrobes (clus), in Nadab's gret chist, and send it to me immejuntly ; and arter you've did all I tell ye, ye needn't giv yerself any furder oneasiness consairnin' yer afflicted and mawl-treated but still affectionate and forgivin* dorter, Permilly." About a week arter this, (I hadn't got no letter from hum yit, mind ye) I was a settin' in my room where no- body couldent see me, and nobody only uncle and aunt didn't know I was there. Well, I was a settin' by the winder readin' in '' Thaddcus of Warsaw," quite an inter- estin' novll of Aunt Huldy's, when I heern a knock to the front door, so I run into the square room and peeked thro' the curtin to see who 'twas, (for uncle and aunt had rid over to the town of Utica to sell butter and eggs and git sum things), so I peeked thro' the curtin and who sho'd I see standin' there but the ginteelest, tallest, elegantest young man ever I see. So I cut into my compartment and stuck my head all full of mornin' glories that growed by my winder, and then huv my white leno vail kerlessly over my shoulders, and you never see an intcrcstlncr looking beein than I was that minnit ; then I went and opened the door. The minnit the young man see me he throwd up r-'£\IFl£LDS''- Miss Sprig-i^'ins, having: read a sensation novel, grows hysterical, and tears lier hair after the manner of lirst-class heroines. — See page 44. WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 49 Ills arms with admiration, and says he, *' Ondoubtedly the inchantin' cretur I see is Miss Permilly Ruggles." *' Jest so, that's my name," reiterated I. ** Won't ye come in? " So in he walked, and I sot a cheer for him and he telld me that he'd ben a travellin' for his hehh and stopt a spell in Podunk, and bein acquainted with the postmaster there, (Mr. Smith) he'd heern the hull of my history from him, and he said that the account Mr. Smith had giv him of my cliaracter and appearance, misfortins and pairsecutlons, had made him very much consairned and Interested about me. This surprised me amazinly, fo^I knowd Mr. Smith want no frind of mine when I was in Podunk — use to laff about me, and once I heerd he said I was a born fool. Well, the young man went on to say how't bein' in the post- office the day he left Podunk, my father cum in with a letter he was a guayne to put in the mail to me, and so he telld father how't he was a guayne right thro' Higgins Patent to git hum, and Jie'd carry the letter free-gratis. *' So," says the young man, " I took the letter and here It Is, and I don't know whether to bless or curse the minnit I agreed to be the bearer on't, as it has introduced me into the presence of an angelic cretur that mabby'll disdain me, and so be my ruination." I blushed '« celestrial rosy red," and took the letter. «' Oh," continuyed the charmin' stranger, layin' his hand on his heart, *' perhaps you'll be surprised when I tell you that the fust sight of you has en- tranced and enraptured my sperit. You will be amazed to hear me confess that I, who, an hour ago, had never be- held you, am now your devoted admirer and humble suitor." So sayin', he fell down on his knees before me and grabbed hold of my hand. *' You're mistaken, young man," says I, **in thinkin' 5 50 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. I'd be astonished to see ye so besmitten at fust sight. I've read of sich things time and agin, but as you're a stranger to me it would be onprudent in me to purmit ye to pay your devours to me. Howsomever, I won't disencourage ye entirely, for your mouner of declarin' the state of yer feelin's has possessed me considerable in yer favor, and I'm purty sartin from your appearance you ain't no country bushwhacker ; so I beseech on ye to rise." <' Fairest of created creturs," says he, "I cannot rise till you promise to reserve a leetle corner in your heart for the despairin' Philander." Thinks me, what a beautiful name he's got. '' Git up, Philander," exclamigated I, '* the promise is yourn." So he riz, and then says he, '' Seraphic gearl ! grant me one of the flowers tjiat decorate your head, to gaze on when alone." So I gin him a momin' glory, and arter kissin' my lilly hand he went away syin'. As he was steppin' out, says I, '' Philander, be you sure your affection won't never prove unconstant ? " Says he, '* jest as sure as the vast furmament of sun, moon, and stars moves round this terrestrious globe I never will be false." So I shot the door and went up chomber to look out of the winder at him as long as I could see him, and when he got over the hill t'other side of the house he hov away the posy I giv him and he begun to lafF as if he'd go off". At fust I was surprised to see him laflSn' so consairnedly when he seemed to feel so bad at leavin' on me. So I watched him till he got out of sight, and he kept a laffin', and every little while lie'd kick up his foot as if he was tickled, and finally I concluded he'd got a highstcric fit brung on by his overpowerin' fcelins. Arter he'd made his disappearance I sot down to read WIDOW SPRTGGmS. 51 father's letter. IVe got the letter yet, and this ere's the copy on't. "Good for nothin^ Dorter Milly : — You're mistaken if you think I'll giv myself any oneasiness about ye. I'm darn glad you've cleared out. To be sure I'd a ben willin' to keep ye to hum and sho'd a did well by ye if ye'd a had common sense, and acted as ye'd or' to ; but you know you've giv me more trouble for the last seven year than you're woth — you haint airnt the salt to your porridge — and more'n all that you'd begun to spile Ketur}^, and put yer silly notions into her head. I tell ye agin, I'm glad to be rid on ye, and hope ye'll stay to Higgins Patent till ye can make up yer mind to act decent. Neighbor Cogsdill's Obadiah's guayne west next week, and hell carry ye yer chist of duds. I'll send ye a leetle money, though you don't desarve a cent seein' ye hookt my puss^ and it'll be the last ye'll git from me, for I'm peskily druv, and I've got children enufF to hum to support, without takin' care of them that runs away. Nor I aint a guayne to let ye be a burden on yer uncle nyther — ye've got to get yer own livin', and if I hear of yer idlin' away yer time I'll go and fetch ye hum and put ye in the factry to work. Yer mammy's sick — your g^n' off has brung her clean down, for ugly as ye be ye'r her darlin, but sen she heerd yer to Higgins Patent she feels better — she telld me to tell sister Jorrocks to take good care on ye, and I hope she will take care on ye and train ye up and make ye stand round. Yer daddy, Nadab Ruggles." As soon as Ide red this onfeelin' communication I begun bemoanin' my sorrers consairnedly. *' O ! wretched me !" jackleated I, '* reduced to the horrid alternatyve of workin' for a livin' here or guayne into a factry to Podunk 1 I'm 52 WIDOW SPRIG oms. pairsecuted and miserable, and nothln* pervents my spirits from sinkin' Into intire dispair in this tiyin' hour except the cheerin' idee of my greaceful Philander." I must a looked very interestin' settin' there leanin'on my elbow, syin' and groanin', my eyes swimmin' in tears, and father's cruil pistle lyin' afore me. So I took the Childern of the Abby to comfert myself by readin' a spell, and turned to the 5th chapter cause there's a discrlption in 't of Lord Mortimer that's eny most ezackly like Philander, I remember it now word for word, and though my Amandy Malviny Spriggins has got the book now there aint no need of my lookln' In't, for to describe Lord Mortimer, it says, '« He was now in the glowin' prime of life — his person was strlkinly eloquant, and his mouners insinniatinly pleasin' — seducin' sweetness dwelt in his smile, and his expressyve eyes could sparkle with contelllgence, or beam with sensibility, and the harmony of his voice giv a charm to tflfe^elquatlon of his language which seldom or never failed of bein' unresistible." Now that's jest the way Philander lookt. He was very tall, and the slimmest creetur I ever did see ; his eyes was as black as two coals, and good grievous ! how expressyve ; his hair was black tew — black and shiny as a crow's tail ; and he had gret-big whiskers ; on the hull he was the fac- blnatincst beein -I ever beheld. Be sure Pd a ben gladder if he'd a happened to seen me and fell in love with me without knowin' who I was ; 'twould a ben more moran- tic. Ye know Lord jNIortimer couldn't find out for ever so long who Amandy was, and he was eny most puzzled to pieces. But then if he did know all about me I didn't know nothin abt)ut him, who he was, nor where he cum from : so I had jest as much unsairtinty and disquietude WW W SPRIG GINS. 5 3 consalrnin him as Lord Mortimer had consairnin' Amandy, and I tell ye 'twas quite interestin' to be so sittyated. Jest then Aunt Huldy and Uncle Jonah cum hum, and I run down stairs and showed 'em father's letter. Arter they'd red it, says aunt says she, * ' The consairned old hog ! he's mistaken if he thinks I'm a guayne to let ye work for a livin' — so he may just hang up his fiddle — and ye needn't be nun consairned about-it ; ye shan't work nor touch tew." *' Oh my darlin' relatyve," says I, flingln' my arms round her and kissin' "on her, '* yer extrornary kindness in this gret and sad emairgency will never be blotterated from my rememberation.* But I shan't be unindustrious, for the idee of bein' manured in a factry as father thretens, Is shockin' to me, so I'll retire to my compartment and ponderate for a spell, and then cum and tell -ye the result of my circumflexions. " So I went into my chomber and was a wonderin' what Amandy would a did in sich a dilamby — when all of a sudding I happened to think how't when she had so much trouble with Lord Mortimer's father she went off to Scot- land and kept school, and thinks me, I'll keep school tew. So I went into the kitching and sot down betooxt uncle and aunt, and I says to 'em, says I, '* Dear frinds — re- duced as I be to the dretful alternatyve of doing suthing for a llvin' or beein' shot up In a horrid dunjin, I've con- cluded what occerpatlon I'd folly." *« What is't?" says they. I continued, '' What can be more Interestin' and dlgni- fyin' to a lovely young creetur in my distressin' circum- stances than to impart construction to the risin' gineratlon * ChUdern of the Abby. 5* 54 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. and devil-up the youthful understandin'? so I'm detalr- mined to do it." ** Well, I'll be darned if I know now what ye mean," says Uncle Jonah. '*You gret coot you," says Aunt Huldy says she — *' don't ye know nothin' ? she means she'll teach a siminary ; and now that's jest what Higgins Patent needs to make it a rael ginteel place." ** Yes," says uncle, *' and Permilly's the very one to do it, for any body that knows so many big words as she does, ort-to keep a siminary — and I'll see about it right off." Arter tea I retired to my chomber. 'Twas a despot charmin' moonshiny evenin' and I sot down by the winder, and the beauty of the prospect, and the stars, and the moonshine, and the gentle breezes that fanned my cheek, and the quiosity of natur, and the idee of my own individ- dyal sorrers begun to operate so on my immaggination that I was overpowered with mawlancholy, and so I sung "blue-eyed Mary," (I was a very purty singer — I be yit,) and jest as I'd got done that afFectin' line where it says, " I now am sorrer's child," I heern somebody heave a sythe ; so I looked out of the winder, and lo and behold 'twas Philander standin' about three feet from the winder. '* Enchantin' beein ! " says he, «« yer music has eny most annilliated me ! enrapurin' tones ! ravishin' strains ! " *' Oh Jemmeni ! " says I, '* I'm sure I shall faint away. I'm so flustered seein' you here ; if you'd only gone off without syin' or sayiu' nothin' 'twould a ben jest like Lord WIDOW SPRIGGINS. ' 55 Mortimer's seem' Amandy the fust time, and heariri' of her sbg unbeknown to her." " Oh ! " says he, " if his surprise and deh'ght had a ben as i^ret as mine he couldent a went off without some kind of exclamigatlon, O Miss Ruggles, I'm a lingerin' round here to bask in the sunshine of your presence, and here's the dear flower you givnae — I've gazed on It ever sen." '< Massy ! " says I, "I see ye heave it away when ye got along a-piece,*and I should like to know what made ye kick up and laff so. I reckoned ye'd got the high- s^terlcs." '* Not so," says he, ** 'twas a conniption-fit — I'm sub- ject to 'em arter beein' overcome as I was when I fust see you — when I recovered I returne'd and pickt up this flower." Says I, ** It looks as fresh as if you'd jest pickt It off this ere vine." ** I've kept it fresh," says he, ** with my tears while it was stickin' in the buttonhole nighest my heart." "I entreat you to depart and leave me," says I; Amandy used to very often send Lord Mortimer off. " Sweetest of maidens ! " says Philander says he, *' I obey your high bequest." So sayin' he vanished and dis- appeared, and I took my pencil and paper and writ the follerin' '* stanzys by moonlight." lu ray distractin' sittyation, Obleejed from hum to wander, I han't but jest one consolation, And that's my dear Philander. I never saw so sweet a swain, So faithful and so tender — So full of sythes, and groans, and pain. As my own dear Philander. 56 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. And I'm detairrnined while 1 live, Though father tries to hender — My heart and hand to nun I'll give But jest my dear Philander. If mother cried and father swore, And other folks should slander ; If even the Dragon stood in the door I'd stick to my Philander. Ain't that touchin' ? Arter I'd writ it I went to bed. CHAPTER III. As I walked out one evening fair. For to view the fields and take the air, I heerd a damsel syin' say, * The youth I love is a guayne away.' " Michigan Minstrel. EXT mornin' whilst we was eatin' breckfnst, Uncle Jonah he says to me, says he, " Permllly." Says I "hay?" Says he, *' I went all round last night a glttln' scholars for you and everybody was astonished when I tell'd 'em about ye, for nobody didn't know you was here, and Missis Peabody, and Missis Dickens, and Missis Jones, and Missis Doty, and Missis Higgins, (if she gits done making soap In time) and their hut^bands, is a coming here this arternoon to see ye." ** Oh dear ! " says I, '' I wish ye hadn't a went so soon for my chist han't cum, and I han't nothin' to put on." WIDOW SFEIGGIiXS. 57 <*Well," says he, *' it can't be helpt now — them are wimmin don't want to send their dorters to school to a person they han't seen, so you must jest fix up the best way you can, and do yer purtiest." *' Well," says I, *' but where's my simlnary to be loquated ? " *' In deacon Peabody's chomber," says he, *' he's got a master gret room, and we'll jest put some benches into 't, and ittle be jest the thing ; and you must write an adver- tysement, and I'll stick it up in Doty's bar-room." So arter breckfust I went into my room and writ the follerin' advertysement : ** Miss Ruggles, racently from Podunk, bein' obligated by unrecountable misfortins to lobsquander from the hum of her childhood, and desirin' to devairt her mawlancolly mind sumhow — would conform the inhabiters of Higglns Patent, and its civinity, that she has resolved to instruct a siminary of young wimmin, or shemales, from six years old along up. Miss R. would insure the public of her complete comptitude to undertake this undertakin', and han't no doubt she'll giv gineral satisfication. Besides understandin' all the branches that's taught in any simlnary she will larin 'em to paint on velvet, and to be perlite, and she don't want nobody to think she's a going to do it for money, for she dispises remoneyration, and only jest wants to teach to pervent herself from sinkin' in despair. She caliates to begin on Monday the 15th of June." I hadn't more'n got it writ afore I heerd a racket, and I lookt out of the winder, and lo and behold, 'twas Obadiah Coggsdil — thunderin' along with a waggin load of tin pans and lanterns, &c., and as much as forty folks arter him — for tin pedlars didn't cum to Higgins Patent often 58 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. and when they did cum the folks made a gineral time on't. He stopt afore uncle Jorrockses, and all the people gath- ered round to egzamin' his ,^tufF, and he was so bizzy praisin' of 'em up that I begun to be afeard he'd forgot my chist. Byme by says one on 'em, ** What ye got in this gret box?" Says Obadlah says he, " That are's a chist of clus old Ruggleses folks sent out to their Milly ; she run off with- out takin' anything with her, and I wouldn't .a brung the plaguy thing if I hadn't a ben a frind of the old man. I tell'd 'em if I was them I wouldn't send the slut nothin', for she don't desarve to be treated no how." You never see a madder creetur than I Avas that minnit — for there was some of the fust folks in the village standin' there, and says one on 'em to another one, ** Why, Squire Jones, this must be the same young woman that's a guayne to teach the siminary." M Sure enufF, deacon ; " says he, *' and I say we'd better make the feller tell all about her, for he seems to know — what do you think about It, Dr. Davis? " *' Why," says he, " I think we'd or't to find out the hull, for I'm sure I don't want to send my dorter to school to a person that ain't respectable, if, she's ever so accom- plished." <' No more don't I," says Squire Jones — "nor I nyther," says all the rest. I tell ye I couldn't hold in no longer ; so I stuck my head out of the winder, and says I, *' Misters!" They all lookt up, and when they see me they was bethunder- struck ; and I must a lookt very strikin' — had a gret big lalock stuck in my head, and my pen that I'd ben a writia' with in my hand, and I streched out the hand that had the WIDOW SPRIGGINS. 59 pen In, and laid t'other on my heart, and was jest a guayne to begin when Obadlah he see me and says he, ** Golly ! Miss Ruggles, is that you? well, I've fetched yer old chlst " — What else he signed to say I don't know, for Dr. Davis took holt on him and shook him and says he, ** Stop yer yaw-hawin ; don't ye see the lady's guayne to speak." So he stopt and I begun agin, and addrested 'em as follers : *< Gentlemen — as ye don't know nothin' con- sairnin' me only what you've heern from this ere ignorant creetur, I spose you mi^st intertain straunge idees about me ; but If you knowd what I've underwent to hum — If you knowd my afflictions and mawltreatment, you wouldn't blame me nun for lobsquanderln', nor ye- wouldn't llstin a minnit to the agrogious disrepresentatlons this vilHng pro- mulgates, and if you'll call on me this arternoon I'll tell ye the hull of my history from eend to eend." So they convairsed together a spell and then Dr. Davis he stept out from the middle on 'em, and says he, *' We'll do ourselves the honor of callino^ on Miss Rus:- gles this arternoon." So say in' he hysted his hat and made a low bow, and I made a curchy, and the men they went hum, but I ob- salrved Dr. Davis look back at me In admireation, and I knowd he was besmitten at fust sight ; but thinks me, it won't do to incurrldge him, for my affections is unrecover- ably gin to another ; (Dr. Davis was a widdyer, a very nice, smart man — very much set by — and an oncommon good physicianer too.) Well, Uncle Jonah he went out and brung in my chlst, and then I read my advertysement to him and his wife, and they said 'twas fust rate, and uncle 60 WIDOW SmiGGINS. he telld me to write four or five on 'em to stick up in the towns round there. So I did — and when I'd got 'em writ I reckoned twas time to habillate myself for the company that was a comin' to see me, so I onlocked my chist, and took out a white dimity with a long short with a blue rib- bin' round the botton on't, and put it on, and tied a. red sash round my waist ; then I took and tied a yaller ribbin round my head and stuck a number of mornin' glories in it ; then I huv a pink silk long shawl round my neck, and my twilight was completed. So you see I didn't depart from the elegant simplicity always conspicious in my dress. Arter dinner I went and sot down in the square room and purty soon I heerd a master loud talkin' — so I looked out, and 'twas Dickens, and Jones, and Peabody, and Doty, and their wives, and Dr. Davis, a comin' up the hill ; so I fixed myself in a reclinin' poster, and took the Childern of the Abby and begun readin'. Purty soon they knockt, and Aunt Huldy she hollered, ** Walk in " — so in they all cum, and aunt she introduced us, and the gentlemen made bows, and the ladies and me, we made curchys to one another, and we all said we hoped for better acquaintence. Arter talkin' about the weather a spell, says Missis Peabod}^ says she, ** So you're a guayne to set up siminary, hay?" *' I sign' to," says I, '* If I can git patternage." Says Missis Dickens says she, *' we've all agreed to send our dorters to ye, but we've heern ruther an onfavorable account on ye from a tin pedlar from 3'our place." Says Deacon Peabody says he, "my wife and I we thot" — says Missis Peabody, interruptin' of him — '* I telld Mr. Peabody that seein' you was a guayne to teach in our chomber if you was raly sich an obstropelous young win W SPRIG GINS. 6 1 woman as the pedlar tell'd for — 'twould bring reproach on our house, and Mr. Peabody's ben deacon risin' 20 year, and has always been lookt up to by the hull town, so says I, Deacon, I guess we'll go and larn the truth on't." Says Deacon Peabody says he, " I says to Missis Pea- body, says I, it looks kinder suspicious." *' No, you didn't," says she, *' 'twas me said it to you — says I, Deacon, says I, it seems to me it looks kinder sus- picious for a young woman to come here and keep herself so scerce for more'n a week. I reckon we'd or't to know more about her afore we giv her our chomber to teach in." So they kept on continuyin' talkin' for ever so long, and at last says Dr. Davis says he, «' We cum for the purpose of hearin' Miss Ruggleses explanigation, and if the ladies can cum to a ceesation for a spell, we'll listen to her." So I with my eyes cast down — my face diffused with blushes — with a mournful sythe, begun : ** My Friends : — My history is uncomboundably mis- fortinate. I concurred the displeasure of a cruel and tor- ranical ftither, by bein' unwillin' to unite my destination with a creetur I couldn't belove, for I couldn't experience for him the uncontrolable affection that is desirable to ren- der the mattermonial state agreeable, and I'd cum to a detairmination not to have nobody that want as pleasin' and elegant as Lord Mortimer, the young man this ere charmin' book tells about, (here I took and kist the Chil- dern of the Abby,) and he want no more like him than a punkin's like a potater, and you will sairtinly compatigate my sorrers when I conform you that my unfeelin' parent even thretened to confound me In a gloomy dungin if I 6 62 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. didn't obey his onreasonable command ; and who, I ax, wouldn't, when circumstances arrove to sich a pitch — who wouldn't, if she'd the least jot of sensibility — who wouldn't elop from the paternal ruff, and seek a sylum In a distant land? Alas !" says I, raisin' my eyes svvimmin' in tears, and layin' my hand on my bustin' heart — " I lobsquandered to this place, hopin' to spend my time in unbeknown sequestration — - intendin' to wander in these inspirin' woods, givin' ritteration to my woes in poetry — for I write poetry. But even here I couldn't be let alone, for I've jist received from my father a pistle charged with a mandrake to make me go to work Immejuntly, or else he'll remander me back to that dretful dunjin I've jest escaped ; and as I don't desire to employ my fair hands in wroughtin' at salrvyle labor, I thought, seein' I was intlrely quallfi- cient, I'd teach a simminary." All the while I was makin' this speech ye never see a surprlsder lookln' set of folks than them I was addressin' — and for a spell arter I'd done there wan't a word spoke — and Dr. Davis he seemed to be wonderfully affected, for he turned his face round and lookt out the winder all the time. At last says Deacon Peabody says he, ** Well, I never heerd sich a master sight of crooked words in my day. I rather guess . my dorter han't no casion to lairn sich stuff." I s'pose Missis Peabody was a waitin' to see what opinion the deacon would ixpress so 's to have hern conterary to It, for she broke right in and says she, *' I ruther guess, mister Deacon Peabody, ittle be as I say. My Mirandy shall go to this ere young woman's school, for I never heerd nobody use eleganter language in my life, so you may shet yer head." WIDOW SPRIG GINS. G3 I tell ye the deacon did sliet up his head and lookt as if he wished he hadn't opened it. As soon as Missis Pea- body ixprest her mind the rest of the wimmin up and agreed wif/h her, and it was purty ivident that she was the rulin' womarn in HIgglns Patent. They all on 'em said they'd patternise me, and the men they lookt purty grumpy, but they darsent say a word. Arter a spell, says Deacon P. says he, <* I guess we'd better be goin'." '' Well, I guess I ain't a guayne to be in no hurry," says his wife, ** you may go as soon as you please, tho'." *' So may you," says Missis Dickens to her husband. *< So may you," says Missis Doty to hern. ** So may you," says Missis Jones to the squire, and so the men folks went off, and the wimmin stayed. *' Now do take off yer things and stay to tea," says Aunt Huldy, *' Well, I didn't cum to stay," says Missis Peabody. *' Nor I nyther," says Missis Dickens. ** Me nyther," says Missis Jones. *« No more didn't I," says Missis Doty. " But I don't know but Pll stay," says Missis Peabody. ** Well, I guess I will," says all the others. So they took off their things, and purty soon every one on 'em hawled out th^ir nittin' work, and I tell ye, they want nun on 'em slow to talk — but I can't spend time to tell about their visit. In the evenin' arter they'd all gone, I went out to take a walk, and as I went by the housen everybody cum to the doors and winders to look at me, and when I past by Dr. Davises office I see him a peekin' out, and I pitied him amazinly, for I see he was despotly took with me — and thinks me, I'd ort to let him know right off that his case is hopeless. So I went into the 64 WIDOW SFEIGGINS. woods and took my pencil and paper and writ the follerin' billet : " Respectable Doctor: — It is with compunctious distress that I conform j^ou I never can be yourn — my afiections is gin. incondubitably gin to another — Tm plighted to Philan- der — try to forgit me I beseech on ye — may that peace and happiness you so truly desairve to possess be yourn — and may they never agin meet with sich conterruptions as they have received from the unable but pittyin'* "Permilly Ruggles." When I'd writ it I went and huv it into his office winder, and then I went back into the woods to ponderate. So I sot down on a log under a tree, and whilst I was a think- in' I heerd sumbody sythe, and I lookt round and, lo and behold, 'twas Philander leanin' agin a tree with his honker- cher up to his eyes. So I goes up to him and says I, takin' hold of his hand, " Philander, why so mawlan- colly?" "Alas!" says he, " lovliest of created bein's, I must leave you." " Leave me ! " says I, ** I shall sairtin faint away ; do ketch me ! " So he led me to a log, and I sot down, and says h^ " Compose yerself, my anngel." Arter a spell says I, " I've composed myself, now per- ceed." And says he, '' I'm obleejed to depart." And says I, *' Don't for massy's sake tell me where yer a o-uayne, — for 'twont be half so interestm' as 'twill to be in onsairtinty consairnin ye." * Cbildern of the Abby, chap. 17. WW W SPRIG GINS. G 5 •'Well then," says he, *'let me jest tell ye we must part for a number of months, — perhaps a year, — and oh ! my 'charmer ! can you remember me ? " *' Gracious!" jackleated I, "don't ye know yer Per- milly's heart is oncapable of bein' faithless?" "I can't doubt it," says he, " but it's enufF to split my heart, — it's like cuttin' me into inch pieces to bid ye fare- well ! but it must be so."- So he prest me to his bussoin and went groanin' oif ; but afore he'd got fur I happened to think and says I, '' Stop a minnit, Philander, don't ye know when Lord Mortimer went away he gin Amandy his picter, and I want yourn." *' Alas ! " says he, '* I han't nun ; but I can make one in a minnit." So he took a piece of paper out of his pocket, and took my pencil and drawd a head on't and gin it to me. *'Why," says I, "that don't look nun like you." **Yes, it does," says he, "it's exact, — you'll see by daylight." So I took it, and then arter takin' anotlier farewell he departed, and I sunk down on the log over- powered. But then I was comforted in thinkin' how much our partin' was like Lord Mortimer's and Amandy's — so sudding — and how much they underwent when they was apart, and how it did seem as if they never would meet agin ; and thinks me, mabby ittle be jest so with us, — no knowin' — but any how it's to be expected. PU take on while he's gone, — so arter sheddin' a cropious flood of tears, I writ the follerin stanzys : He's gone, I'm Bure I don't know where, Nor when he'll come agin ; And there's no tellin' what dispair My droopin' heart is in I 6* GQ WIDOW SPRIGGINS. And I dear me aus I when we're apart If be forgits Permilly, 'Twill sairtin break her lovin' heart, And make her brain grow chilly. Murder I can he be false to me f I'd kill me if he should — But no I I guess he'll constant be, Because he vowed he would. But goody gracious 1 what shall I Do when he's gone away ? On this ere log I'll sit and cry, And sythe and groan I say. When rd got this poitry writ the moon was a shinin', and I reckoned it must be purty late, so I went hum, and when I went by Dr. Davises office I heerd him a talkin' and laffin consairnedly with sumbody that sounded jest like Philander, — but I'd no idee 'twas Philander — for he felt too distresst to laff, and I reckoned the doctor hadn't found my billet yet, for if he had he couldn't a felt so cherful. Arter this there want nothin' worth relatin' took place in several days till I begun my school, — only I writ the follerin' epigrannj^ one night whilst I was a gazin' on the minnytiire of my absent Philander : He feared that I'd forget him quite, As soon as he got out of sight — He wouldn't think me so vile If he should see-me ev'ry night By moonshine or by candle light, A lookin' at his profyle. WIDOW SPRIGGINS. 67 CHAPTER IV. " 'Tis eddycation forms the common mind, Jest as the twig is bent the tree's inclined." English Reader. S soon as Aurory had ^opened the porticos of the horizon, the fair Permilly ariz and arranged her attire — for 'twas the momentuous mornin' that her siminary was guayne to begin. I put on a yaller streeked open gownd with a flounce round it, and a long green sash round my waist, and a blue crape turbin on my head, with one long black ostridge feather stuck in it, then I put my pink silk long shawl round my neck, and then condescended down into the breckfust room. Arter breckfust Uncle Jonah he gin me his watch, say in' I'd need a time-piece in school. 'Twas an extrornary gret silver Avatch — don't see no sich big watches now-days. So I tied it to a red ribbin and hung it round my neck, and 'twas so big I couldn't stuff it under my ^ash, so I let it hang outside. Bein' all ready for a start I happened to think how't I or'to carry Philander's picter with me all the time, and what to do I dident know, for I was afeard 'twould get rubbed out. So I went to Uncle Jonah and axed him if he hadn't sum kind of a small flat box he could lend me (didn't tell him what I wanted on't — hadn't said a w^ord to him nor Aunt Huldy about Philan- der). So he went to his chist and bawled out a tin to- 6S WIDOW SPRIGGINS. baccer box with a snap to It and axed me if 'twould do. **That are's the very thing." So I put the picter in't, and jammed it under my sash, and took my parrysol and set out for school, and as I went bythe housen 'twas curus to see the folks peekin' out and exclaimin', *' There goes the new school-marm. Did you ever ! " and sich like. Well, I cum to the deacon's and Missis Peabody she cum to the door and showed me the way into the school- room, and you never heerd sich a racket as there was there afore I went in, but as soon as they see me they was as still as mice. There was about thirty gearls there, and a number cum in arter I did, so't I had forty -seven in the hull, and sum on 'em was purty big; so I made the big ones set on one side and the leetle.ones on 'tother side, and arter I'd got 'em all arranged, says I, *'Siminary's beo^un : " and then 1 made 'em read round in the Enolish Reader. Arier they'd read, I axed 'em if they'd ever sy- phered, and they all said '* No." So I tell'd 'em to take their slates, and I was surprised to find out that more'n half on 'em couldn't make figgers — so 1 tell'd 'em to take the rethmetic and copy 'em out on't. "Now," says I, *' make one side of yer slates jest as full of figgers as ittle hold." So they did ; and then says Mirandy PeUbody says she, " What shall we do next?" " Don't ye know nothin'?" says I, *' make t'other side full." So they did : and then says Mirandy, '^ What next ? " "Rub 'em out," says I, " and put up yer slates ; ye've syphered enufF for one day ; the big ones may go out whilst I hear the little ones spell," (for spellin' I always tho't was the most importinate part of eddycation :) so I made the little gearls stand up in a row, and I took a spell- in' book in one hand and a switch in t'other, and says I, WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 69 " Xow the fust one that misses shall be whipt .and go to the foot.'* *' Well," says Drusilly Doty, says she, ** what will be did to me if I miss? " (she was to the foot.) " Nun of yer sarce," says I. Well the fust time round they all spelt right but Phllandy Dickens, and I did as I said I would to her. Next time round I put out '* grub," to Hepsy Hawkins ; she was to the head, and says she, i i g-r-w-eb , grub . " ** There aint no sich letter as * eb,' " says I, " go down to the foot." So she started and run as fast as ever she could so's I couldn't git a chance to whip her. ** Now, Hepsy Hawkins," says I, "to pay for that are trick of your'n you shall always be in a class by yerself." * *< Permilly 's ruther warm — wife, can't ye give her a little buttermilk pop to cool her off? " ** Nun of yer sarce about buttermilk pop," says Aunt Huldy — so sayin', she gin him a grip, but he deluded her grasp, and grabbin' a hunk of short cake he cut out doors, and then he stuck his head into the winder, and says he, — ' ' Ye better both on ye take a chaw of tobacker out of Milly's box. I reckon ittle callumyer minds." So sayin' he run off, and says aunt, says she, " That are's the pro- vokinest creetur ever I see, and the wost on't is he never gits mad. I wish I had a little of Missis Peabody's grit. I tell ye I'd stir him up then — he wouldn't darst to pester me so." Jest then I looked up and see Spriggins a cum- min' over the hill. *' There ! " says I, <* he's a cummin'." Aunt Huldy she lookt out and says she, " O, that are's 8* 90 WIDOW SPRIGOmS. Jabez Spriggins ; and cum to think on't, seems to me he took a master shine to you last night." " I know it," says I, " and I don't know wliat to do with the creetur ; Amandy always used Sir Charles Bingly well, but when she wouldent have him he eeny most died." *' Good landy ! " says Aunt Huldy, " you don't mean to sairve him so I hope. He's a nice stiddy young man as ever was, and his father's got a rael productyve farm, and nary child in the world ony Jabez, and his payrents set a nation store by him — he's always ben a master hand to study — ben to school evry winter till he's got to be the best arithmeticker in town — and now he keeps the dees- trict school, and I tell ye what, ye can't do better'n to take him if he axes ye, but good now ! I wonder if he haint sfot a dead creetur tied to him." *' Yer granny's a dead creetur as much!" says I, *'why, them are's my ostridge fethers stickin' out of his pocket." Putty soon he began knockin' to the door. ** You go to the door," says Aunt Huldy, "you look slicker'n I do." " No, no," says I, *' that aint accordin' to etiquit — you go, and when he axes for me, you cum out and call me." So she went and rushered him in, and arter a spell says he, '* Where's that are young woman that's here?" I was a waitin' in the kitching, and aunt she screamed out and says she, *' Hullo, Milly ! he's axed arter ye." I was kinder mad to hear her up and yell so, but I went in, and arter we'd sluted one another, says aunt says she, *' Did I do that accordin' to gunter ? " ** No I " says I, *' you'd orto come out and called me instid of hollerin' at me so consairnedly." WW W SPniG GINS. 9 1 '' Well," says she, *' I'll know how next time." Then she went out, and says I to Sprlgglns, " Well, how did ye enjoy yerself last night arter my departer? " '' O, middlin'," says he, "I got a putty good chance at the egg-nogg and stuff — but I don't like to see folks act as they did. Arter the old people went hum the young folks carried on like sixty. The fellers they got yer os- trldge fethers and stuck 'em behind then- ears, and caperd round and hollered, ' Hooraw for the pink of Podwik 1 ' and the bride said she thought you'd or'to teach faintin' away in your simlnary, and the gearls all on 'em did act consairnedly. I tried ever so long to git yer fethers, and couldn't. At last Johnson took 'em and laid 'em on the table, and as soon as I got a chance I ketcht' 'em unbe- known to nobody and cum off." " Well," said I, *' Pm unexpresslbly obleejed to ye for dooin' on't — but I don't ker teppence for what the gearls said, for I know 'twa'nt nothin' but envye — but them are students, I raly think 'twas strannge they should act so, seein' they was so took with me." *' I wish every one on 'em was lickt," says Spriggins. ** As I was comin' by there this mornin'," contlnyd he, " I see 'em all a standin' round Davises office door, and I was a goin' straight by, but Tomson he yell'd out and says he, * Hullo, Jonathan ! where ye guayne?' Wilkins he gin him a hunch, and says he, * Why, Tomson, that's Mr. Spriggins that you saw last night.' * Ah ! ' says Tom- son, * excuse me, Mr. Spriggins, I thought 'twas an old acquaintance of mine.' ' O ho ! ' says Johnson, ' I see you've got Miss Ruggleses fethers in yer pocket.' * Yis,' says I, ' and I'm a guayne to carry 'em to her — she's a mazin' putty young woman accordin' to my notion.' * So 9 2 WW W SPRIG GINS. she is,' says they — * but,' says Jones, * you mustent tell her how we acted last night.' ' I will, by gosh,' says I. * O don't,' says Johnson, ' we only frisked round a little with her fethers to please the ladles, you know they're all jealous of Miss Ruggles 'cause she's so honsome and in- terestin' — don't tell her.' 'I will, I swonny,' says I. ' Well, then,' says Tomson, 'tell her and be darned to ye — we're all a guayne to see her this evenin' for we've all fell in love with her — and we'll convince her to the con- terary.' Then I cum off, and Johnson he hollered to me, * Take care how you take arter her if you don't want to fight a duel with us.' ' Golly ! ' says I, « do you think ye can all on ye git her ? ' and whilst I was a cummin' along thinks me, I'll be hanged if I won't up and ax her to have nie — and I tell ye what, Miss Kuggles — I aint a jokin' when I say I set more by ye and like ye better'n ary young woman ever I knowd — for I took a notion to ye the very day I fust see ye, when I ontied the dead hen, and if you'll have me I'll have you, and we'll have one another. What do ye say to't ? " '* Grandfer Griffin ! " says I, "is that are the way you prepose yerself ? " '* Why," says he, *' ain't that are the right way? " ** I've got as gret a mind," says I, '* as ever I had to eat — -no — as ever I had not to eat, to go right strait off out of your socierty without dainin' to give ye any an- ser — but seein' you've did me tew or three good turns, and as I intertain o. gret steem for yer caracter I won't do't — and here's the Chlldern of the Abby, the book I prom- ised to lend ye, and do ye take it hum and pruse it atten- tyvely, specially the 8th chapter, fust voUum, and there ye'll lairn how to offer yer hand and heart — and arter WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 93 you've lairnt how ye may cum and ax me agin if yer a mind tew — my astonishment that you sho'd have the au- dackity to take arter me is only exceeded by my surprise, and I sha'n't say yes nor no to yer supposition till ye lairn to promulgate it better." So sayin' I riz up to go out, and jest as I got to the door says Spriggins, says he, *' Stop a minnit." So I stopt, and says he, "As fur as I can understand what you've jpen a sayin*, I take it ye won't be put out if I cum to see ye once in a while whilst I'm read in' this ere book." ** O no ! " says I, '' Amandy always treated Sir Charles Bingley with the greatest condcscention — so I give ye permission to cum." So sayin' I walkt out of the room as stiff as stillyards, and went up into my chomber and as I lookt out of the winder I see Spriggins guayne over the hill readin' in the Childern of the Abby as he went. Lookin' at my watch I see it lacked a half an hour to school time, so I sot down and writ with amazin' rappid- dity the follerin' stanzys : — TO JABEZ SPRIGGINS. Alas, poor swine,* with yaller hair, I'm sorry for ye, I declare ; I hate to slight ye, but I must, Tho' I'm afeard yer heart will bust. gracious I how you'll rip and swear, And mabby cry and tear yer hair, And cuss the fatal minnit when You met me with the old dead hen. 1 can't be yourn 5 this heart of mine Is plighted to another swine ; And them besides that git besmitten. Must all expect to git the mitten. * Swain. 94 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. O, if I had a thousand hearts, They'd all be full of Cupid's darts, And evry single dart would be Fired from tlic eyes of my dear P. So, poor young man with yaller hair, Giv up and die in grum despair, Set down and sythe and weep and mourn, Permilly never can be yourn. I never showed that are to Spriggins till arter but I won't antlckipate. Arter 'twas writ I went to school — but I guess lie discontinny, and tell what concurred that day going tew and from my siminary in another chopter. CHAPTER VII. ' On pranced the gallant steed. Proud of the heft he bore. O'er hill and vale and flowery meed Unto the castle door." Spkiggins Misselany. ELL, I went and put up my dinner and put on my things, and as 'twas a dretful cloudy mornin' I reckoned Ide take an umbril — so I went and axed Auntlluldy to lend me thairn ; but she said 'twas a new one and as it looked like for rain she guesst I hadent better take it for she dident want to have it git wet, — so I went witliout none ; but afore Ide got half way there it begun to rain consairnedly, and seein' Dr. Davises office door open I run in there, and there was all them fellers WW W SPRIG GINS. 9 5 and you never see sich a fluster as they made when I cum in, and I must a lookt amazin' interestin' with my hair all beshovelled, and my habileations drippin' with moister. *'0 dear me suz, gentlemen," says I, "I've got ketcht in a shower, and if ye'll lend me an umbril I'll be obleejed to ye." So they all jumpt to git it and then they had a tussle which sho'd accompanate me — evry one on 'em wanted to go. At last says Jones (the doctor's student) says he, *' Let Miss Ruggles take her choice." " Agreed," says they. So says I, " I can git along well enough without nobody, but seein' ye're so anxious to go with me He choose Mr. Johnson." When I said this the other fellers ript out a mess of wicked swearin' words, and shook their fists at Johnson. " No W; gentlemen," says I, " I boseech on ye not to fight a duil with the favored swine, for I set store by all on ye, ony I admire Mr. Johnson be- cause he resembleates my Philander so much." So Johnson he gin me his arm and we started, when Jones up and says he, " Miss Kuggles will get her long-short as wet as muck -^ He jest bring my surtoot and let her put it on." So he run and brung his surtoot. That Jones want a very putty appearin' young man, and I was real pervoked at him for givin' me the nastyfettity pill at the weddin' — but when lie was so consairned about me as for to ofifer me his sur- toot, thinks me. He surmount my nantlpathy to him. So they all helpt me on with it and Johnson he buttoned it round me. "Now," says I, "what's to be did? it's a master sight too long." Jones was wonderful tall, and his surtoot was a turrible long drab one with a number of capes sich as they wore in them days, and I was oncommon short and fairy-like in my figger. " He tell ye what," says WilkinSj " He go behind and hold it up." 96 WW W SPRIG GINS. " O no, let me," says Tomson. " N'ow, genflemen," says I, " if it's so desirable to go long of me, s'pose one of ye holds up each skeart." ''Thattle be charmin'," says VYilkins. So they took holt, and we sot off, and Jones he stood in the door, and lookt at us. Whilst he was guayne along, says Johnson says he, ** O ! the deliglitsome gratifaction of shelterin' the most beautifuUest of created creeturs from this outragin' storm!" "Ah, it's exquizzitte ! " says Tomson. "It's the squintessence of pleasure," says Wilkins. And sich like ixpressions they made all along. Putty soon we arrove to the deacon's, and bein' quite late the scholars liad all cum and sum on 'em was lookiu' out of the winders, and when they see us they hulloed to t 'others and they all run to the winders to look at us, and ye never heerd sich a roarin' as they sot up in yer born daj^s ; and when we got into the house they all cum out on the stairs to see us — I tell ye I was awful mad to see 'em so un respectful, and I should a let right into 'em and knockt over a few if I hadent a concludid to change ray monner of teachin' a little, — for that mornin' wlnlst I was a dressin' I happen'd to think how't I'd orto look into the Childern of the Abby to see how Amandy managed her school — for Ide forgot, that bein' a part of the novil not very interestin' to me ; so I stopt in the midst of my twi- light and read about it — and it said she never jaw'd 'em nor chasigated 'em, but let 'em do jest as they was a mind to. So I of course detairmined to do so tew. Well, the young men resisted me to take off the surtoot, and whilst they was doin' on't, I see Amarilly Peabody, the deacon's oldest dorter, and Polly Marlar Dawson, (a couscn of hern visitin' there,) a peekin' through a door and laffin dis- Widow Spriggins faints away, and resuscitation is attempted by Doctor Davis.— See 2mge 85. WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 97 tractidly — I s'pose they was dretful jelous. O ! what a tumble thing jelousy is ! It distils pison into the most secret and unbeknown recessions of the heart, — it discom- j^oses and frusterates the finest affections of natur', and scatters the firebrands of confusion and purgatory through- out socierty. Arter I was disbegaged from the surtoot, says Johnson says he, " If the rain continys all day we'll cum arter ye "this arternoon." " O ! don't pester yerselves," says I. *' Pester us!" says Wilkins says he, ** why, it would be the most consummit satisfication for us to attend ye neverstandin' we should git wet to the backbone." *' O ! " says Tomson, raisin' his eyes and layin' his hand on his bussom, ** Ide be willin' to kiss yer footprints — 'twould be exquizzite." *' O landy ! " says I, *' that wouldent be woth while — ye may enjoy the felickity of imprintin' a kiss on my lily hand " — so I reacht it out and all on 'em kist it, and says I, " I intreat that ye won't nun on ye premit yerselves to intertain hopes that must univittably be disrealised and eend in disappintment, — for I may as well conform ye fust as last, that I'm ingaged to the most charminest swine on airth." So sayin' I hawled out the tobacker box and kist it, and put it back agin — and then makin' a low curchy I perceeded up chomber, and as I went along I could hear all the fellers a syin'. When I went into the school-room the gearls was all settin' down lookin' jest as if they suspected a knockin' — but I went strait to my cheer and sot down, and says I, *' Gearls, I aint a goin' to exercise no more severitude to- werds ye. A number of my puppils has left my simiuary, 9 98 WIDOW SPRIG GI^'S. and it must be on account of my extrornaiy strictness, for I can't think of notliin' else that could a had an attendancy to dimminnish my scholers, — so I sha'n't giv nobody no furder 'caslon to complain of my stairnness." Ye never see creeturs act as my scholers did that day cause I dident jaw 'em nun — more'n forty times I was on the pint of cuffin' sum on 'em ; but then Ide happen to think — so I let 'em go on jest as they pleased. In the arternoon when the little ones had went out, and the big ones was a paintin', and I was givin' Glorianny Stokes sum constructions con- sairnin' the picter she was a copyin', ('twas Gineral Put- nam ridin' down the mountin' — an uncommon splendid and highly finished picter,) Philindy Ann liiggins hollered out, — *' Do look, Miss Kuggles." *' Timothy Titus ! " says I, <* if that are aint my retinow a cummin," — and sure as creation, 'twas Johnson, and Wilkins, and Tomson, a cummin' with a boss to take me hum. The gearls all snorted out a laffin', and says ]Mirandy Peabody, says she, "I never see sich a bony, scrawny boss, in my life." " Shet up!" says I, ''it's a sperited, fiery steed." Then I stuck my head out of the winder, and says 1, *' Gentlemen, what for did ye cum so airly? yer altogetlier tew punctable, — but ye may cum in and visit my siminary if ye want to." So they was a cummin', and says I, " Yc'd best tie up the boss fust, — mabb}^ '11 he'll run away." " Run away ! " says Drusilly Potter, " he wouldn't run away if ye should jam liim with a red-liot poker from now to next never — it's father's old Billy ; lie's game legged and eeny most blind, — much as a body can do to make him stir at all." WIDOW SrRIGGINS. 99 AYell, they cum in and sot down, and says T, *« Now, gearls, don't let yer attention be extracted by these ere young men — it's very improper." So they all on 'em kept on paintin', ony jest Drusilly Potter, and she kept her head out of the winder and talked to the old boss Billy all the time — she was a turrible hawbuck. The boss he knowd her voice and he begun a snortin' and ye never heerd sich a consairnid rackit in yer born days. I was dretful 'shamed, for the fellers must a thought strange on't ; but I didn't want to jaw her, for 'twouldn't a ben like Amandy. The young men egzamined the paintin's and admired them amazin'ly, and putty soon I hollered to the little gearls to cum in, and 'twas ever so long afore they obeydid the summonses. Finally they cum in, and says I, " Ye may put on yer things, for I don't want to keep these ere gentlemen waitin'." But the fellers said they want in no hurry, and begged on me to continny my con- structions — so 1 heerd 'em spell, and then the fellers wanted to hear 'em read ; so I tell'd 'em to git their Eng- lish Readers, and they did. They read in the poitry in the arternoon this time ; I told 'em to read the peece be- ginnin', " Dear Chole, while the boosy crowd" — 'twas a gret favoryte of mine, and I read it beautiful — I always read a vairse fust for each on 'em, to show 'em how. The gentlemen was inraptered with the readin'. Then I tell'd 'em to put on their things and make their monners — so they did; and says I, '* Siminary's out" — and they all cleared out. So I begun to git ready, and the fellers went down and brung up the old surtoot. *' It don't rain," says I, " I han't no 'casion for that are." 100 WW W SPRIG GINS. *' But," says Johnson, '*it's damp, and we're afraid ye'll ketch yer death a cold without it." So they put it on, and they exorted me down stairs, and resisted me to surmount the hoss, — and there in the medder aside the house was all my scholers a waitin' for to see me go. Johnson he led the hoss, and Wilkins and Tomson walkt on each side on't, and in that sittyation we went clean hum — and ev'ry once in a while the hoss would stop still, and Tomson, (tender-hearted young man,) instid of thumpin' on him, would giv his tail a jerk and make him go agin. AH the gentlemen kept a payiii' on me complements all the way about my mojestic appearance — and ev'rybody stared at us ; but nobody couldent say a word — they was all speechless with admireation. I must a persented an impo- sin' appearence with the gret long surtoot a hangin' over the bosses back, and my hair a floatin' over my sholders ; but I was quite oncomfortable, for 'twas dretful warm, and the surtoot was dretful heavy, and the sun beet down awful hot, so't my phiziogermy was all kivered with swet- spiration. Well, we got hum. I unmounted, and Johnson giv the hoss a slap, and he limped off to Potter's. *' Walk in, gentlemen," says I. So they all cum in, and desisted me off with the surtoot, and I opened the square room door, and rushered 'em in. *' Beseat yerselves," says I. Then I went up chomber and arrannged my dress ; wiped the swetspiration off my face; done up my hair, it felt so warm ; stuck a couple of ostridge fethers in my head, and condescended to the square room, where I found Aunt Huldy and Mr. Jabez Spriggins, and his mother, an old- erly woman, of oncommon good understandin', and very agreeable, but very nigh-sighted and considerblc deef; so't WIDOW SPRICGINS. 101 slie dldent appear as much struck with my looks as she other ways would a ben. She'd ben there all the arter- noon, and Jabez stopt on his way hum from school ; they'd ben a settin in the kitching long of Aunt Huldy. " Yer sarvent," says Jabez, *' I make ye acquaintid with my mother." ' ' How do ye dew ? " says I, but she dldent look off her nittin' work. So Jabez he hollered right in her ear, ** Miss Ruggles axes ye how ye dew?" " Miss Rugg? " says she, *' well, why couldent she speak up so's to be heerd ? " So I went and sot down nigh by her and yelled out as loud as ever I could, '* Yer considerble hard of hearin', ain't ye Missis Sprig- gins?" *' Hard of hearin ! " says she, " yer mistaken ; my hearin's as good as ever 'twas, ony I can't hear whis- perin' no more'n anybody else that hain't alwas ben used to't ; if they'd taJk as they did when I was young I could hear well enuff." Well, I talkt to Missis Spriggins a spell, and she seemed to take quite a notion to me 'cause I hollered so loud — said I talkt as they did in old times. Byrne by tea was reddy, and aunt cum in and called us out — so we went into the kitching, and says aunt, " Set by." So we sot down to the table, and we had punkin pie, and apple-sass, and short cake, and nutcakes, and sweet cake, and pickled cowcumbers, and sage cheeze. "Missis Spriggins," says Aunt Huldy, "is yer tea agreeable ? " " Yis," says she. " Jabez is yourn? " " Fust rate," says he. " Mr. Wilkins, is yourn? " " Excellent," says he. ** Mr. Johnson is yourn? " " Delishus," says he. " Mr. Tomson is yourn? " 9* 102 WIDOW SFEIGGINS. *' Exquizzlte," says he. ''Well now," contlnyd she, ''do eat, and don't be bashful — do try to make out a supper : " and they all did eat putty hearty but me — I ony took a dish of tea, and dident eat nothin'. Putty soon arter tea old Sprlggins cum in a wagon arter his wife. Aunt and uncle went in the kitching and I was alone with four interestin' young men : so says I, " Gen- tlemen, what good do ye spose it's a guayne to do ye to take arter me ? I'm undessolubly united in the bonds of affection on Philander ; I can't incurrldge nary on ye. " They all put their honkerchers to their eyes — Spriggins he lookt dretfully pleased, and says he, " Ye don't mean me tew, 'cause ye ain't a guayne to giv me my anser till I've larnt that are you know what, and thattle be putty soon, I tell ye." " O ! " says Wilkins says he, " don't put a momenta- rious etjnd to all my hopes." Says Tomson, " Don't break my heart by sayin' ye won't be mine." Says Johnson, '* Don't, for goodness sake drive me to desperation and discomboberation by sich soul-distractin' words ! " " My gracious, Mr. Johnson," says I, " how much that are speech of yourn did sound like Philander." " Murder ! " says he ; " don't mention the name of that detistable rival." Putty soon they all went, and if ever there was three fellers felt bad, them are three coliidge fellers did. Arter they'd went I went to take a walk, and I rombled down to the lower eend of Uncle Jonah's farm — a moran- tic and secludid spot, where there was a swamp with WIDOW SPRIG a INS. 103 bushes all round It, and the air was Impregglnated with the flagrance of thousands of lillies that growd there in gret lugshurlance — and havin' my writin' consairns along I sot down on a stump and convoked the aid of the musses as follers : ODE TO MEMORY. ' O ! memory if 'twant for thee I should forget my lover — And then ho"5it wretched he would be My feelins to discover 1 And gracious ! I should be bereft Of every consolation, And sink right down beneath the heft Of my sad sittyation. Tho' troubled, 1 won't make no fuss, If memory doesn't fixil me — I can't imagine nothin' wuss That possibly could ail me. Tho' natur seems, when he ain't here, As doleful as December — I'd ruthcr he'd be goue a year Than for to disremember. Them lilies when the sun was up As stiff as pokers grew. But now they're jest as wet as sop, And all bent down with dew. So Milly's onforgitful heart Is bendiu' down with sorrer ; I'll weep as long as we're apart,— I wish he'd cum to-morrer. 104 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. CHAPTER VIII. Capting-, Where's my gallant sailor, Ime dezirous for to know ? " Madam, if you mean Sam Taylor, He was married a week ago." Old Song. ELL, the anteceecHn' week of things went on purty much as they did the proceedin' ; but a Saturday an event conspired that channged my destination. When I went hum from my sira- inary, lo and behold, there was a letter from Podunk for me ; and I opened it and found 'twas from father — here's a subscription on't : '/ Dorter Milly : — Cum hum right strait off you — yer marai is to the pint of death. She was took last week with a dretful cramp in her side — awfal crick in her back — blind headache and turrible cold feet. She's talkt about her Milly ever sen she was took, and wanted to have us send for ye at fust, but as I reckoned she'd git up agin afore long — (cause she's ben took so a number of times and never died afore) — I thought Hwant best to send for ye. we've had sich peccable times sen ye went off; but she got wus and wus, and now we don't have no idee she'll git well — so ye jest cum hum as quick as ye can, and dew make up yer mind to be of sum sarvice to us when ye git here. Yer daddy, "Nadab Euggles.'^ WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 105 Now, thinks me, my exhibition 's all knockt in the head — (for yer must know I was perjectin to have an exhibi- tion in my siminary) — and I mustent think of nothin' now only my beloved payrent — so I huv myself on the bed and jackelated, "O mairciful creation! support and strenken me in this tryin hour, and onable me to cumfort my onfortinate mother afore she dies." Jest as Amandy did when she heard of her father's illness. Then I thought Ide go into highsterics. So I begun kickin' and squallin' and rollin' my eyes consairnedly. Aunt Huldy she heerd me and she cum up. *' Grandfer grievous I " says she, <' what's to pay? " <' O dear suz ! " says I, ** read that are letter and ye won't wonder at me — for my everlastin' dear mother isent suspected to live from one day to t'other." *' You don't say so," says she. So she took and read it, and says she, '* He go hum with ye, for T must see Vihy once more afore she dies ; jump up, Milly ; we'll git reddy right off; and go in the stage when it cums along this evenin'." " Onfeelin' woman ! " says I, *' how can ye tell me to git up when I've got the highstericks so owfully ! " '< I know It," says she, *' poor child ! but then if ye don't git over it the stage will go along afore yer reddy — and don't ye remember how Amandy hurried to git to her 'father when she heerd he was sick." So I hopt up in the most agonizin' state of condition and begun to git reddy. I put on my black rottenette gowud, and a black bouiba- zeen long shawl that mother gin me, one she wore when she was in mournin' for Grandfer Hogobone — then I tied a black ribbin round my bunnit, and stuck one amazin' lono' black ostrids^e fether in't. Then I stufFt all the rest 1 G WW W SPRIG GINS. of my things In my chlst and lockt it up. Whilst I was fixin', Aunt Huldy went out and told Uncle Jonah, and purty soon they cum in, and says uncle, says he, *' Why, Milly, it's all nonsense for yer aunt to go hum with ye." *' I guess He go for all you — so there now," says aunt. '' Well," says uncle, *' I shant giv ye no money to go with. Ye never hear of any of yer relations bein' sick but what ye want to go and see 'em die, and cut a sworth to the funeral, and ye might better stay hum and take care of yer family." "Mighty family!" says Aunt Huldy, *«ony one old coot to see tew ! " '< Mister and Missis," says I, *« if ye want to qurril on this mawlancolly casion I wish ye'd retire to the kitchenary department, and not disturb me by yer discongenial ex- ploteration." So they went off, and I sot down and writ the follerin' notice to my school : *' Daelin Puppils : — It is with the bio-o-est sorrer I denounce to you that I shall be enable to construct you enny more at present ; and whether I shall ever consume the delightful task to develup yer minds enny more is a circumstence that lies hid in the unbeholden debths of futrinity. I am summonsed to contend the death-bed of an only and beloved mother — but I wish to desire to make one last request of ye. I want ye all to go to meetin' to- morrer drest in black gownds and black ostridge fethers in yer bonnits, and when meetin's out, perceed to the front of Deacon Peabody's door — rannge yerselves In a row and sing the follerin* stanzy to the tunc of the long meetre doxyology : WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 107 •' Alas I our darlin' teacher's pone, That's why we put these black gownds on ; We can't submit to't tho' we must ; It seems as if our very hearts would bust." Arter supper the stage cum along, and Uncle Jonah run out and hulloed, *' Passenger for Podunk ; " so they druv up, and we all went out, and whilst the driver was helpin' Uncle Jonah put my chlst into't, I huv my arms round Aunt Huldy and kist her agin and agin, exclamigatin', "Farewell belovedest, darllnest Aunt Huldy — may all the blessins of Pleaven be condescended upon yer." Then I stretcht out one hand and had t'other on my heart, and lookln' round me with a heavy sythe, says I thus : *' Adoo ! sylvanlc shades of Higglns Patent ! no longer will ye giv a sylum to the fair Permilly. Adoo ! sweet umbragglous shady grove where I parted with Philander — no more will my fairy form wander amonkst yer excludid shades, to court the musses and think on my distant swine — I bid ye an unterminable farewell ! " There was three gentlemen In the stage, and they stared at me consairnedly, and says one on 'em to Aunt Huldy, ' ' Is the young woman derannged ? " '*Derannged! no;" says she, «« ony she's ruther smarter'n common folks." Well, I got In and we druv off. O ! if there is a minnit in this subernary state of egsistence, when the sad and sorrerful sperrit fells as if it wouldent giv teppence for all creation, 'tis when we part with frinds. I felt so then — so I huv my head languldlously over onto the sholder of the man that sot aside of me, and bust into a simmultaneous flood of tears. Arter Ide recovered a little I raised my droopin' head 108 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. and lookt round and I never see tew surprisder lookin' creeturs than the men that sot opposit of me. They opened their eyes as big as sarcers and begun whisperin' about me — but the one next to me dident say a word. So I lookt round at him and good gracious ! he lookt so much like Philander (ony sum older,) that I utterated a percin' skreik and tumbled prostracious on the bottom of the stage. They all jumpt up and resisted me to rise and arter I was beseated, says I, " Gentlemen, mabby you think strannge of me, and for fear you should intertain oranious impressions regardin' me, He tell ye my history, if ye'd like to hear it." They all said they'd like to hear it wonder- fully — so I telld 'em the hull I've telld my readers ; only I couldent remember all the poitry ; but I had a coppy of my Ode to Memory in my work pocket, and I took that out and read it to 'em. The young man that set aside of me said he never heerd enny thing equal to it ; but the other men dident say a word, and nary on 'em dident speak to me agin — they was olderly men and oncommon ruff lookin', but 'tother one was a rael slick lookin' feller — he telld me he lived in Utica ; and like most of the residers of that extensyve and anncient city he was oncommon gin- teel in his appearance, and refined in his monners. Well, purty soon we arrove at Utica, and the stage druv up to the stage-house, and there was a lot of men standin' round, and when the young man got out, there was one run out amonkst from 'em and shook hands with him ; so I poked my head out to git a better sight on him, and as true as crea- ti(jn, 'twas Philander ! my long-lost Philander. Tie was considerble altered, and I should a thought 'twas Johnson if he hadent a had on the same green coat with a black velvet collar he had on when he paid his distresses to me ; WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 109 but there was no mistake ; so I jumpt out of the stage and run towerds him. The men all gin way for me and I rushed ahead exclamigatin, *' O Philander ! my own darlin' Phil- ander ! Heaven has at last restorated you to your mournin' but faithful Permilly." So sayin' I huv my arms round him and eeny most had a highsteric fit. There was ever so many young men standin' round, and amongst 'em I see Wilkins and Tom- son, and they all hoorawd. Philander, instid of returnin' my inraptured caresses, lookt rael mad, and dident know what to do. At last the young man that cum in the stage with me says he, *' The young woman's crazy ^ she's taken iny brother to be sumbody else ; " and says Philan- der, " We'd better take her into the house till the stage is reddy." So he and his brother led me in and sot me down on a sofy, and all the other fellers follered arter. Philan- der and his brother whispered together a spell, and then Philander went out, motionin' to t'other fellers to accompa- nate him. Arter they'd all went ony Philander's brother and me, he cum tome and says he, '* Miss Kuggles ; " says I, ''Hay!" says he, " Pve got suthin to tell ye, thattle no doubt make ye feel ruther bad, and tho' I'd ruther have an iron spike druv thro' me than to communi- cate sich a piece of contelligence, yit it's my duty to do it, and if I don't ye'll find it out sum time or other." *'Dew tell," says I, "my curiosity is rung up to the biggest pitch — dew tell me." ''Well," says he, " if I must I must — Philander's married ! " If a thousand muskits had ben fired at my head, and a million baggernets run through my body, I shouldent a ben more bethunderstruck nor no nigher killed than I was that 10 1 i WW W SPRIG GINS. mlnnlt. I yelled out as loud as ever I could, and then I got up and took off' my bunnit and laid it on the table, and begun tearin' my . hair most awfully, and ravin' and screemin' the wost way, so't all the folks in the house cum runnin' in to see what was the matter. Arter Ide got complectly desausted I sot dowm and gin vent to my sorrer in heart-splittin' groans and sythes, and thinks me, how would Amandy acted if she'd heern Lord Mortimer was married? There's no tellin'. But I know how she acted when she heerd he was a guayne to be. She lost her appertite and growd as thin as a rail ; but dident say a word about it to nobody — tho' she took on when she got alone. And thinks me, like enuff Philander's torrannical father has ben a makin' of him git married agin his inclina- tion, jest as Lord Mortimer's father was a guayne to make him. So says I, " Did his cruel father impel him to git married ao-in his inclination ? " and 1 lookt round to where Philander's brother sot, and lo and behold, he want there. I spose he was so overcum by my sufFerins he couldent stand it, and so cleard out, and I never see no more on him nor Philander nyther from that day to this. I han't .no doubt but what Philander had been conduced to believe that I was onfaithful to him. Lord Mortimer wouldent a wiped his old shoes on Lady Euphrasia Sutherland if he hadent a sposed Amandy was onfaithful — no more would- ent Philander a married anybody else if he hadn't a sposed Ide forgit him, and Ide be wiling to bet a boss that John- son and Wilkins and Tomson had been a lyin' to him about me; 'cause they wanted' me themselves. -Well, arter thinkin' on't all over I got up and dun up my hair, and put on my bunnit, and tho' there was morc'n forty folks — men, wimmin, and children, axin' of me questions — I dident WW W SPRIG GIXS. 1 1 1 anser 'em n'or tell 'em what ailded me, but arter Ide got iixt I went out and stood by the door till t'other stage got reddy to go, and then I got in and huv my head agin the back side of the stage and shot up my eyes and dident open 'em agin whilst t'other passengers was a gittin' In, nor for quite a spell arterwards : but there I sot a ponder- in', and my rumlrations was the most distressin' 1 ever experienced In my born days, and whilst I was a settin' In that persltlon I composed sum very mournful stanzys, and I thought Ide write 'em off so I opend my eyes and I see 'twas conslderble dark, so't I couldent see the folks that was in the stage, ony so fur as to see that they was all men folks, and I was the ony shemale in the stage. So says I, *' Gentlemen, I want to write down sum poitry and I don't see how Ime to do It, It's so dark." <* O !" says one on 'em. says he, " I can write as well in the dark as I can without a light. He write it for ye if ye'll tell me as I go long." ** He be obleejed to ye to do it," says I : so I gin him my pencil and a piece of paper, and he took his hat and writ on top on't, (me tellln' on him a line to once) the follerin': ON A LAMENT. Did you ever see Philander? O I he was a charmin' swiue ; He was tall, and he was slender; He was honsome; he was mine. To a maid he took a notion, She his love did soon return, And while he was on the oshun She believed his heart was hern. He intended for to marry ; But alas I his mmd he channged — Now she's ravin' like old Harry ; He is false, and she's derannged. 112 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. '* That's all," says I, ^* now giv it to me." " O no ! " says he, **you''must allow me to read it to my frinds — it's exquizzlte." As soon as he said that I know'd who 'twas: "Land of liberty!" says I, "Mr. Toms on, is that you ? " *' Egzackly," says he, "and I vow I believe this is INIiss Ruggles — I dident know ye afore — and here's Mr. Johnson and Mr. Wilkins. I hope we shall have the pleshure of yer company to Skenackady." " I declare," says Johnson, " this is truly a happifyin' circumstence." "By George!" says Wilkins, "we're a fortinate set of fellers to be so onexpectedly favored with Miss Eug- gleses company." " Hold yer jaw," says I, "yer a mean, contemptible set of villings ; I won't have nothin' to say to nary one on ye ; so jest giv up that are poitry." " This is strannge," says Johnson, " how on airth have we offended you ? " " Purty question for you to ax, you tarnal wretch," says I, shaking my fist in his face. " What have we done? " says Tomson. " Dun ? " says I. " Haint ye ben the means of dashin' the dish of felickity from my lips ? — Haint ye underminded me in the affections of Philander? Haint it ben thro' your instrumentality that he's went and married another, and left me to uncomboundid dispare ? " " O yer mistaken ! " says they all to once. " I aint nyther," says I — so I stuft my fingers in my cars and held 'em so ever so long. At last Tomson begun to read the poitry he'd writ down for me out loud, and when he'd red it thev sung it to a Methodist tune. WIDOW SPRIG oms. 113 Tomson he lined it as they do in meetin'. So I took my fingers out of my ears to listen to 'em, and says Johnson, *« Music hath charms to sooth a savidge ! I tho't you'd get over it." **I hain't got over it nyther," says I — so I stuck my head out of the winder and hollerd " Murder ! murder ! " as loud as ever I could yell. Well the hosses they was dretfully skairt, and took off as tight as ever they could pull. The driver he tried to hold 'em in, and kept a hollerin' "hoe!" but they went faster and faster, and purty soon they went tearin' down a hill and huv the stage right over ; and we all cum tumblin' out en massy — - but this ere's an oncommon long chopter, so I must cum to an eend just where I shouldcnt orto. CHAPTER IX. " Come tell me, blue-eyed strannger, Say whither dust thou roam, O'er this wide world a rannger, Hast thou no frinds nor hum ? " Old Song. T fust I reckoned we was all killd, but arter a spell we found we was all alive, ony considerble stunted — but the driver was the maddest creetur ever I see ; he cusst and swore, and said if it hadent a ben for me the hosses wouldent a run away. Well, there was a house nigh by and a man and a big boy cum out and helpt 'em fix the stage, and arter 'twas fixt the fellers was 10* 114 WIDOW SPRIGGINS, a guayne to help me Into't agin, but says I, In a senatorian voice, ''Lemine alone, I aint a guayne to travil a step fur- der wid ye ! ** ** Unposslble ! " says all three of the fellers, **you mustent leave us so." '* Hold yer jaw," says I, '' yer a set of thunderin' mean scampers, I won't be seen in yer company — I despise ye more'n I dew the alrth I tred on — I don't consider ye worth turnin' my nose up at." *« Well," says the driver, *' If ye did ye wouldent have to do it, seein' it's alreddy arrannged in that persition." When the driver said that, the fellers all lafft consairn- edly. '' O, lawful suz ! " says .1, "ye all begin to lafF now seein' ye can't git me. Jabez Spriggins telld the truth about ye when he said ye tho't ye'd lalrnt all there was to be lalrnt to Hamilton Collidge and so sot off for Durrup CoUidge to use that up tew ; but I can tell ye if ye go to all the Collidges in Americy, ye won't know B from broomstick — so Mister Perllteness " (contlnuyd I, ad- dressin' the driver), "jest take off my chlst, for Ime a guayne to stop to this ere house. '' Yer chlst," says he, '* ye han't no chist." So says I to the man, <' Mister, I wish ye'd let yer boy there go up to Utica and get my chist — they forgot to put it aboard the stage." But the driver up and says he, " Don't ye dew it ; she han't got no chist ; she's crazy." *' Ye lie like split," says I, '* I'm a young woman of the biggest respecterbihty — of Dutch distraction on the mother's side, and New England consent on the father's, and my Grand fer Ruggles fit, bled, and died In the revo- lutionerry tussle, and arterwards drawd a pension, and if WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 115 it want for all these ere sircurastences my own Individdyal extinction would be enuff to skewer me the steam and ad- mireatlon of all creation." ** Well," says the driver, *' ye've got to pay as much dammage as if ye went to Durrup." So I took out my puss and paid him and they druv off and I went into the house; and says I to the man and woman, *' That are driver haint no reason to think I'm derannged, ony cause I wouldent travil with the company he's carryin', and I do boseech on ye to send arter my chist to Utica, for it's got all my notions in't." " Well," says the man, «' it's pitch dark now — I can't let Hoky go to-night, but mabby I will to-morrer." <^ Well, then," says I, "jest give giv me a compart- ment for I want to go into a state of retiracy," *' Give ye what? " says the woman. *' Why, a room to sleep in you," says I. *' Well," says she, *'ye'll have to sleep with Zady, for the schoolmaster's a boardin' here this week, and he's got the spare bed, and he's gone to bed now." So she took a lontern and went up chomber and I follered arter, and she rusliered me into a room that was in considerable of a condition — there was a half a lookin glass, an old three Ici^o-ed cheer, and an old shakin' table that would tumble over if ye lookt at it hard ; and in the corner was a trundle bed and a gret fat gearl asleep on't a snorin' the wost way. " Good woman," says I. <* My name's Missis Hitchins," says she. *« Well, Missis Hitchins," says I, ** ye may make yer disappearance." So she went off, and I took the lontern and went up and took a realizin' sense of the trundle bed ; 110 WID W SPRIG GINS. and besides the snorin' of the fleshy gearl, the oncommon narrowness of the trundle bed was sich as to render It on- possible to repoze there : so thinks me, I'll set up all night. So I turned the old cheer over and sot down on't, and be- gun to ponderate ; and thinks me, how much my sittyation is like Amandy's when she stopt to old Byrnes flamber- gasted cottidge. What a pity she dident have my genyus for makin' poltry — what an interestin' account she'd a gin of her misfortins ; but taint everybody that has a natral genyus for't, and if It d^n't cum natral there's no use in tryin' — they mought as well try to make a univairse as to try to make poitry without beein' natrally gifted that way — and seein' I've got sich gret poeticle tallents Ide or'to improve 'em, and certainly the soUem sittyation Ime placed in to-night should or'to inspire me with a wonder- ful frenzy for composin'. So I lookt in my ridicule and there want no paper there. Just then I heerd surabody in the contigruous room ut- terate the terriblest percin' skreek I ever heerd in my born days. So thinks me, sumbody's dyin' or sumbodj's mur- derin' sumbody ; and bein' indued with oncommon cur- ridge, I ketcht the lontern and run in there — but there want no noise nor nobody there ony sumbody in bed ; so I went up to the bed to see whether the occerpyer was dead or alive — and lo and behold, there was a very interestin' lookin' young man asleep there, and thinks me he had the nightmare when he yelled so — no doubt he was a dream- in' of his own sorrers and misfortins, for I knowd from his looks that he want a strannger to greef. He had on a red nightcap with a tossil on top, and a number of holes in't thro' which his dark hair was pokin' in greaceful neglitudc, O ! (solliquized I,) greef has did Its work on that are WIDOW SPEIGGmS. 117 long thin nose and turned up the tip on't with continyl sobbin ! greef has ondoubtedly drawd down the corners of that are mouth, and dreams of unrelentin' ennemys pursuin' of ye has certinly skairt ye to sich an alarming degree as to make yer ears start out so and bust them holes in yer nightcap ! peace to yer ashes, mournin' swine. So sayin' I turned round to go out, when I obsairved sum paper lyin' on the table. So I reckoned Ide help myself to a sheet on't to write sum poitry on ; but seein' an ink- stand and pen there thinks me. He write here cause this ere table don't shake so as t'other does. So I drawd up a cheer and sot down, and mj medifications resulted in the foUerin' confusion : — Who knows but what I'm settin' nigh To sum extinguished strannger, ' That from his hum was forced to fly O'er this wide world a rannger. Mabby his father was onkind, And tried to make him wed Sum gearl that wasent to his mind, And so from hum he fled. Tho' others blame ye, mournin' man, The fair Permilly'll praise ye, Because ye wouldent jiiie yer hand To disbeloved Euphrashy. Wake I long-nosed marquis 1 lord or earl, Open your eyes and see A mournin', pinin', weepin' gearl To simpathise with thee. Oh dear ! if you knowd my distress, I'm sure 'twould raise yer dander, For now I mourn the onfaithfulness Ot my once true Philander ! 118 WIDOW SPRIG GIXS. And like enuff (for taint oncommon For earls to git the mitten)^ That you've ben shipped by sum young woman, And now yer heart is splittiu'. reace to yer ashes, sleepin' swine, Dear broken-hearted creetur, 'Tis Milly Kugglcs, writes these lines, When mornin' cums ye '11 meet her. AYhen Ide writ this afFectin' poem, I laid it in Pike's Eithmetick I see lyin' there ; then I turned to take one more look of the young man abed — and whether or no the lontern shinin' in his eyes woke him up or not I don't know ; enny how he opened his eyes and lookt up at me ; arter starin' at me a spell with the biggest wonderation depictered on his phizziogermy, says he to me, says he, ** Jimmini ! who in the name of wonder be you? " *' Don't ax who I be," says I, ** jest look in Pike's rithmetick and thattle giv ye the denowment who I be." ** Pike's Eithmetic," says he, '* I know a man about my size that can find out eeny most ennything by studdyin' out on't — but by gu-m ! I don't see how Ime to find who you be if T cipher out on't from now to next never." *« Well," says I, " you look right next the kiver and you'll see." So sayin' I made -a curchy and vanished into t'other room leavin' my lontern behind. Arter I went out I listend to the door and heerd him git up and go to the table and read the confusion out loud. Arter he'd read it, says he, *' Jimmini ! " a number of times — then I heerd him a mcndin' a pen — and then he begun to write and writ for ever so long. At last I got tired listenin', so I tho't Ide set down agin ; but as I went to beseat myself I got on the wrong eend of the cheer — WIDOW SrRIGGINS. 119 (ye know 'twas turned down) — and it let me right onto the floor, and it made sich a rachit it woke up Zady, and she hollerd out, " Grandfer Griffin ! what in natur's to pay?" I never said a word. «* Arter all," solliquized she, "mabby 'twan't nothin' but me dreamin'." So sayin' she crin two or three grunts and turned over and went to sleep agin. So I got up, fixt the cheer, and sot down strait, laid my head on the table and went to sleep, and dident wake up agin till mornin' ; and then my neck was so stiff holdin' on't so long in that betwistid persition that I couldent scerce move it for ever so long. As soon as it got limberd a little I riz and arrannged my dress and went down stairs, leavin' Zady sound asleep. The man and woman was up, and arter a spell Zady got up and cum thumpin' down. I was settin' behind the door so she did- ent see me, and she took tew pails and went off to mllkin', and the woman begun to get breckfust, and says she, " Young woman, ye'll have to be sairved as the rest on us be — for the master's got to have the silver spoon and the chany teacup and sarcer." " Well, I don't ker," says I, " Amandy had to drink ut of a noggin to old Byrnes." «' Who had tew? " says she. «' Amandy Fitzalan," says I. «« Sumbody I don't know," says she. Then she went out to pull sum inyons, and whilst she was G-one the master cum down — he dident see me — so I kehawked and he lookt round. '' Good mornin', Miss Ruggles," says he, makin' a scrapin' bow. " Good mornin' to yer lordship," says I, curchyin'. Says he, '*! feel extrornary honored by the visit ye 120 WIDOW SFEIGGINS. made me last night — and that poltry ! Jimmini, it's fine ! I couldent rest till Ide writ an anser to it — for Irae a polt of considerble merrit myself — I've had a number of arti- cles printed in that are well-conductid perry odical, the jNIohawk iMeteor and Marcy Kepublican. You've on- doLibtldly seen and admired the poetical countributions signed ' The Mudbow Minstrel ; ' them's mine. I'm no strannger to yer repitation, Miss Ruggles, for Ime an inti- mit frind of young Spriggins — a gret admirer of yourn — and he and I corrisponds ; his pistles is full of your praises, so that my curiosity to behold ye had arriven to a vv^onderful pitch, but Ide no idee of it's bein gratifacted in the interestin' monner it was by yer morantic visitation last night." "But," says I, interruptin' him, ** ye said how't ye v^^rit an anser to my poim. I should like to see it." So he put his hand in his pockit and took out a foldid paper containin' 45 amazin' putty vairses, and tho' it would take tew much time to coppy 'em all, I can't help substractin' a few on 'em. Arter guayne on to say ho\v't he want asleep when I went into his room, but ony ** per- tendin' for to sleep," he continnys in the foilerin monner : •* O 1 sicli a face I never see Sence I on airth was born I 'Twas briglitest noonday's sun to me, With bluslujiij hues of morn. "And then I seen you starin' round, Jest Uke sura creetur's ghost, That cum to fmd, from under ground, Sumthin' it had lost. " And tlien my pen I seen you take, My paper, ink, and cheer, WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 121 And tlion set down all for to make That poitry so dear. " And o'er the sheet the pen you drew, In rhyming fury dashing, And from yer eyes the idees flew, Like lightning bugs a flashing." Here comes in a number of stanzys about Mister Shakespeare, rollin' frenzy, &c. ; and then he goes on, — " And when you'd got it writ, you took And put it in my Pike — That jewel of a ciphering book — You must a knowd I like. " By day I read that rithmetick, It occerpies my slumbers, 'Twas there I learnt to rhyme so slick, And got so skilled in numbers. " My streekid sky's ben black and blue, A world of botheration, As you have ben, so I've ben through A sight of tribulation." Then he goes on to tell about his sorrers — how't he'd ben in love a number of times and always got the mitten, and so finally made up his mind not to try no more — but taint woth while to subscribe that part, as there's 18 vairses on't. So he continys, — "Ah I Shakespeare says,— " (I spose this Mr. Shakespeare's sum intimit frind of hissen.) "Ah ! Shakespeare says, and Shakespeare knew, (To you and me that's plain) — That true love never did run true, But always cross the grain." 11 122 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. Then he goes on through a number of stanzys to dls- cribe the oncerting natur of love — the coldness of the world in gineral, and the shemale sect in perticler — the trials that genyus has to undergo — and at last eends as follers, — *' Now eence in rhyme my woes and struggles Ive had a chance to pour 'em, He jest subscribe myself, Miss Ruggles, Your friend, P. Zebidek Gobum." I dident read all the poitry then ; I put it in my ridi- cule, and arter thankin' the master for't, says I, " I hope ye won't tell these folks about my guayne inter yer chom- ber last night ; cause if ye dew they'll think the driver telld the truth when he said I was crazy." *' O ! I won't mention it," says he, *' but how on airth did you git here ? " I was jest a guayne to conform him, when Missis Hitchins and Zady and the old man cum in. Zady was betliunderstruck to see me, and they was all supprized eiiuff when the master introducted me to 'em. Arter tliat they was amazin' perlite. Well, we sot down to breck- fust — but I must resairve whot concurred that day ('twas Sabberday ye know) for another chopter. WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 123 CHAPTER X. «' O I Sangerfield I Where is thy shield To gard agin grim death ! He aims his guu At every one, And fires away their breath I " Sangerfield Huddle Bard. RTER breckfust I axed Mr. HItcliins if Hoky mut go arter my chist, and he said seein' 'twas me and seein' 'twas a case of necesserty he mought, tho' 'twas agin his principles to ride anywhere a Sab- berday ony to meetin'. So Hoky he put on his Sundy clus, and tallerd his hair, and harnissed the bosses to the waggin and sot off for Utica, and he cum hum in about tew hours. Missis Hitchlns axed me to go to meetin' with 'em — (they attendid dervine salrvice to New Hartford, about a mild from there,) but I telld her Ide ruther wait till arternoon, cause my chist hadent arrove yit. *' Well," says she, " we shant be hum a noontime, so how'll ye find the way to meetin' ? " <'0!" says Mr. P. Zebidee Gorum, *« He stay till arternoon and so go with Miss Ruggles." «' Well," says she, *' if ye want anything to eat ye'll find a platter of nutcakes In the cubberd, and sum cheese on the buttry shelf." So she aud Mr. Hitchlns and Zady sot off for meetin', 124 WWO W SPRIGGINS. and I and the master was left alone together, and we con- vairsed about things in gineral, and I discovered that Mr. Gorum was a young man of oncommon bright immagin- nation and highly cultivated mind. I axed him to write me an ode on the death of my mother. ** Is yer mother dead? " says he. '' No," says I, '* but I suspect she will be by the time I get hum." So sayin' I put my honkercher to my eyes, and was dretfully overcum for a spell. Bymeby Hoky arrove with my chist, and as I was a guayne out in the stage that evenin' I reckond I wouldent have it carried up chomber. So I took out my kee and onlocked it, and took out sich articles as I contendid to put on, and went up into Zady's room and arrannged my apparril. Beein' a very warm day I tho't I wouldn't wear no bun- nit to meetin'. So I done up my auburn tressis with my high-topptcomb, tied my six black ostridge fethers together with a black ribbin and stuck ^em in my head — ye know I had on my black rottenette gownd — well, I rolled up the sleeves to make 'em look short, and put on my long black cambrick gloves, then I huv my black long shawl round my neck and pined it down on one sholder with a black bow with tew eends to't much as a yard and a half long, then I loopt the skeart of my gownd up on one side and pined a black bow on't and my dress was completed, and certingly if ever a creetur lookt interestiu' I did that minnit in my mournin' habileations. Arter I was drest I condesendid, and I never see a sur- prisder creetur than the master was — he was quite over- cum with admireation, and declared that he never see a more charmin' appcerance than what I persented all in WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 125 black. Well he went Into the buttry and brung me a piece of cheese on a fork, and then he went to the cubberd and fetched me a wonderful long nutcake on another fork. Then he helpt himself and arter we'd eat 'em he said 'twas time to be guayne. So I took my parrysol and we lockt arms and off we sot for meetin, and I don't bleeve that tew more interestin' beeins ever prerambleated the scrub- urbs of New Hartford afore or sen. Mr. Gorum was drest with the biggest taste ; he had on a long-tailed yaller thin coat and nankeen trowsis. Well, we walkt purty slow and when we got to meetin' the folks had most on 'em arrove there, and as he walkt up the broad ile the peo- ple stared at us as if they was bethunderstruck. The min- ister was a readin' the sam and he stoppt as much as a minnit ; but Missis Hitchins and Zady was surprisder than anybody else. I never extracted so much attention in my life as I did that day in the New Hartford presbiteerian meetin' house — once in the sairmon the minister illuded to the sorrers and disappintments of airth, and I groaned out loud, and everybody lookt round at me, and sum onfeelin folks lafFt ; then the minister he lookt awful mad, and stoppin' right short in his dizcourse, says he, " My frinds, the sanctooerry aint no place to be merry." So they stoppt laffin, and the men folks ginerally stoppt starin', but the wimrain folks couldent help peekin' round once in a while. Bymeby meetin' was out and we went hum, and arter tea I arrannged my dress for travellin', and about six o'clock the stage cum along. I axed Mr. Hitchins what was the dammidge, but he wouldent take nothin'. So I thanked him and then I had a very afFectionit partin' with Mr. Gorum, (he was ividently took with me) and then I 11* 126 WID W SFEIG GI^'S. got into the stage and starticl for Podunk. There was five men folks in the stage ; all on 'em oncommon ruffins but one, and he was sich an attracktyve man I can't liel^^ dc- scribin' on him ; he had a very dignified but summat stairrin' phizziogermy — tho' when he addrested himself to me a brand smile played over his feeters — but I never see the beat of his conversationable powers afore nor sen. The other passengers was electrificated by his eloquation, and dident say but very little, and no wonder ! He was talkin' about Utica when I got in, and it was ivident that he was a resider of that citty. " Gentlemen," says he, ** our citty is the sentre of the State — I may say of the United States. It is as remark- erble for its intairnal arranngements as it is for the inlightenment and infermation of its inhabiters. It is in all respects very fur previous to Phelidelphy. New York itself can't hold a candle to it. Gentlemen ! where will ye find such refinement of mongers and eleguance of ap- peerence as the ladies of our city pozzess ? and where sich intellectitude of mind — sich profoundify of tallents — sich overwhelming and captivatin' abillyties as our men of sighence egsibit ? our young men partickleary • — I may safely say they are previous to any other young men in the United States, and subzequent to nun in the univairt^e." Then turning to me with a ravishin' smile, says he, *' Mum, have ye ever been in Utica, mum ? " " Yis," says .1, syin' "I was there yisterday under very distressin' circumstences." *' Ah!" says he, with a very greaceful inclineation of his boddy, " may I enquire what distressin' ok-kurrence ok-kurred?" So I recountered the hull of my history from beginnin' to eend, and when Ide finnishid, says he, with another greaceful inclineation, — WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 127 *' It seems to me, mum, you've ben the artifisher of yer own misfortins' by givin' way to the senslbilitude with which you are indewed by natur' — the egshuberance of your Immaggination and vivacitude of your sperrits has in- tirely outstript your discretionery powers, mum." Jest then we cum to Little Falls, and the four codgers got out and a remarkerble ginteel woman and a little boy about five year old got in. It was considerble dark and I couldent see her feeters extmctly, but putty soon she spoke to the little boy, and I recognatid her voice in a minnit. *' Goody gracious, Miss Van Dusen ! " says I. * ' Mairciful heavens ! my dear Permilly ! " says she — and we huv ourselves into one another's arms. O ! if there is a minnit when the heart-broken sperrit feels as if it would go off the handle with joy, 'tis when long severatid frinds onexpectedly meets ! For a spell we strainded one another in a silent imbrace without utteratin' a sillybull ony jackllation — " O ! Miss Yan Dusen ! " ** O ! Permilly ! " — at which Mr. Spluttergut, the gentle- man from Utica, seemed mucli affectid. When we was recoveratid from our jouful supprise I axed her where she was guayne, and she conformed me that she was a guayne to visit her relatyves in Durrup, and that she had ben married a number of year to Squire Stokes, one of the fust men in Little Falls. " Do tell !" says I, " and is this ere sweet little cheru- bim yer son ? " '' Yis," anserd she, " my on'y son." *' What's yer. name, you little darlin'? " says I, kissin' of him — but instid of anserin' he begun to beller, and his mother said he was dretful sensatyve ; always cry'd when stranngers spoke to him — " his name's Lord ]Morthner," 128 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. continyd she, *' I wantid to giv him a cognomer that wo'd sound well in congriss — I intend he shall write it < L. Mortimer Stokes.'" *' Charmin' name," says I. Then she axed me where I was guayne ? And I begun to the begiunin' of my history artcr I left her siminary and tell'd her the hull, and she was very much afFectid. " O ! " says she, *' I knowd that yer sensatyve and mo- rantic nater woold have to suffer wonderfully from the cold onfeelin' world." Then she went on advisin' of me to re- cipperate Jabezes affection, say in', that a heart like hisen was woth possessni', and more'n all that 'twas time I was settled down. Well, bime-by we arrove to DuiTup, (or Skenackedy, as sum calls it,) and Missis Stokes invitid me to accompa- nate her to her father-in-law's and beein' eeny most tired out, for we'de rid all night, I thought I would. So we got out and I axed Mr. Spluttergut to call on me if ever he cum our way, and he wantid to be conformed where I resided ; and I tell'd him in the villidge of Podunk. *' Ah, egzactly," says he, with a greaceful inclineation, "I re- member the loquation very well now — it's a short distance previous to Schaticoke." " Jest so," says I. So then we sepperatid, and I never see a bow that was a sircumstence to the one he made at our partin'. Then my former instructoress and me winded our way to Mr. Stokesis, and the old folks was wonderful glad to see Silly, as they called her, (her name was Prisilly nater- ally,) and I raly tho't they'd eat up little Lord Mortimer, and they was very perlite to me tew, and said that if Ide stay till arter dinner they'de send me hum in their ^vaggin, ijKi' WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 129 and so I concluclid I would, ** tho' ev'iy minnit," jackilatid I, '* that restrains me from my adored mother seems like an etarnity of a hmidred year." Well, we had dinner, and then Philo Stokes — the old folksis youngest son — got the waggin reddy, and arter tellin' the Stokesis to cum to Podunk, Missis Silly Stokes perticklearly, and imbracin' her tenderly, I and my chiet, and Philo set off for Podunk. We orot there about 4 o'clock, and as we was a drivin' into the villidge, I cryin' and ringin' my hands distractiously, we met Mr. Smith, the onfeelin' postmaster, and says he, — * ' No wonder ye cry ; ye've ben the means of yer poor mother '* — *' Ben the means on her," says I. **Yis," anserd he, "Missis Smith says she haint a doubt but what 'twas takin' on about you sot her into the dizorder she died on — she was berried yesterday." When he said that I sunk faintin' away in the bottom of the waggin — jest as Amandy did when her father died — and I remaindid onsensible till we got to father's. Philo was eny most skeart to death. ^^What ails ye?" says he. *' Pve faintid away," retorterd I, "ye must git sumbody to help ye lift me out when we git to father's." So he druv as tight as ever he could and eny most jolted me to death, and seein' father to work in the feeld he hollered to him. *' Hullo ! Mr. Ruggles, cum and help git yer dorter out of the waggin — she says she's faintid away." So father he cum, and he and Philo hawld me out head fust and eny most kilt me doin' on't. Ketury she cum runniii' out, and with her resistence I manidged to git into tlie house and onto the. bed. Ketury she sot down ayide of me 130 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. and father he sot down and went to mendin' the hoe handle. Arter Ide staid onsensible a spell, I open'd my eyes and says I, "Is it true that my belovid mother's dead?" *' Yis," says father says he, " dead as a door nail, and I hope now you've cum hum ye'll try to behave better'n ye did afore ye went away — there's enufF to be did ; for sen Mirtilly got marrid, ev'ry thing's gone to rack." * > Mirtilly marrid ? " interrigorid I. **Yis," says father, ** she's marrid marchant Van Snorter — and did well tew^ — he's a makin' money fast." " Grandfer grievous! " says I, " well, I 'spose Jake jest took her 'cause she was my sister ; but she's a fool to git marrid so young, she's six year younger'n I be." *' She may be," says father, " and not be no chicken nyther — the fact is, Milly, you're gittin' along, and lie bet a beef critter ye'll be an old maid." *' Me an old maid?" says I, «* He tell ye what, old feller, there's more young men than you could shake a stick at that would jump sky high to git me." " I gess they'de jump sky high arter they'de got ye." says he. I lookt at my hoggish payrent w^ith a look of suverin' contemp, and riz up and went into my chombcr — Ketury follerin' — and I tell'd Ketury I wanted to visit my .mother's grave, and she said she'd go long. So I huv Ketury 's black vail over my head — put my pencil and paper in my ridicule — and we sot off. As we went along, me groanin' and sobbin' the wost way, ev'ry boddy st-ared out of the housen at me ; but I never lookt at nobody. Well, we cum to the grave-yard and clum over the fence and went up to mother's grave. It had ben a rainin' and the grass WID W SPRIG GINS. 131 was as wet as muck, but what did I ker ! I huv myself onto the ground and gin utteration to my greef jest as Amandy did at her mother's grave. " O ! " says I, *' it would a ben better if this spot had a receeved both the mother and the dorter at the same minnit ; better by a jug full than for me to live to mourn over blastid hops and ag- onizin' vikissltudes ! but how perzumptuous am I to ropine at the will of creation ! " Sich was my words at my mother's grave, where I sot " Like a fair lilly surcharged with tears." * Then I tell'd Ketury she needent wait for me — so she went hum — and I took out my pencil and paper and writ the foUerin' stanzys in about 15 minnits : THE DISAPPINTED. *' O I what a cat-a-strophy dire In Poduuk did befall, When she was called for to ixpire, And leave us mournin' all. O ! never was there greef afore Like that of poor Permilly : That fair and interestin' flower: That pale and droopin' lilly. My heart is broke ; my P. estrannged, My fond affections crushed, My plans of futur' bliss derannged, And all my prospects squshed. The world onfeelin', cruil, cold, Looks on with wonderin' eye, My misery for to behold — I certingly shall die. * Childern of the Abby : don't remember which chopter. 132 WIDOW SPRIGGINS. And when at last my heart-strings snap, And all my woes is dun, O take the follerin' epitap And 'scribe it on my stun : ♦» 1 strannger, stop and wipe yer eyes, ^ And spend a minuit weepin' ; A broken-hearted sperrit lies Beneath this tombstun sleepin'." I soon arter sent these vairses to Mr. Gonim, and he had 'em insairted in * ' The Mohawk Meteor and Marcy Republican," with the folio win' paragrab atop of 'em. ** The insuin' eloquant and touchin' stanzys are from the quill of a young lady, who, tho' yit in the highday of youthful facksination, is ividently dyin' of a broken heart — her most sangunary prospects blited in the bud. What heart will not bust ! What soul will not dissolve ! What gizzard will not split, on perusin' 'em — dictatid as they be by ginnuine inspireation." Arter Ide compleatid 'em I returned to the poternal ruff. Note a bean. — Mr. eddyter: In gineral I've been very much gratifacted by the monner in which you or your men folks has printid my life ; tliere ain't but jest one thing I feel to complain on, and that is, the way ye spell, my mother's name. 'Twant Vine nore Vin^, as it's ben onvariably printid in your paper, but it was Viny. I ony write this for to let folks know how't my moterual payrent hadent sich a barbarious coguomer as what they spose for. WIDOW SPRIGGINS. 133 CHAPTEK XI. " Now the capting loved her dearly, Loved her as he did his life, And seeiu' she was left so drearly, Sally became the capting's wife." ELL, tew weeks passed away In the most molan- clioly monner — the state of my mind wouldent admit me to ingage in no occerpation if Ide a wanted tew. Father he jawed cause I dklent work, and Nadab and Abihu made fun on me. I dident do nothin' but romble in the woods and medders mournin' and making poitry. On the hull my sittyation was most miserably interestin'. I tell ye I mist the Childern of the Abby (Spriggins had it ye know). If Ide a had that twould a ben a gret comfort to me, and the circumstence of my thinkin' so much about the enchantin' vollums con- duced me sumtimes to think about the swine Ide lent 'em tew, and thinks me, he's more like Lord Mortimer arter all than ary feller I ever knowd, for he sticks to me thro' thick and thin jest as Lord Mortimer did to Amandy, and then I rememberd Missis Stokeses advice to me in the stage, and puttin', all things together, my feelins was con- siderable channged, and I felt my sentimlnts towerds the youthful Jabez grown oncommon tender. O ! woman is a fraggle and lovin' creetur. The she- male heart is so chuck full of affection that its purty on- 12 134 WW W SPRIG GINS. possible to use it all up on one bein'. Who, I ax, would want to live in this ere cold, onfeelin' world without a kindred sperret to share its joys and sorrers with? and when the swine that a young woman has placed her affec- tions on prove onconstant it's a pity if she maytent bestow her heart on another more worthier one, and I haint a speck of doubt but what Amandy'd a married Sir Charles Bingley if Lord Mortimer had a ben raly faithless, and it's a pity if I've got to be a dried up old maid jest a cause Philander got married. Sich was my circumflexions as I sot one day under the gret ellum tree that growd afore our house. I must a lookt very interestin' a settin' there in profound pondera- tion. 1 had on a black skeart, and over it my white long short with a row of black crape loopt up round the bottom on't ; then I had my leno vail wound round my head for a turbin, and my ostridge fethers stuck into't, and there I sot a leanin' on my elbow, now sythin' and now wipin' off a tear that strickled down my cheek. Arter continuin' my medifications a spell, I took out my pencil and writ the fbllerin' piece of blank poitry : — A FRAGMENT. O ! she was fair I no anngel ever was Nor ever could be fairer than Permilly; Her auburn hair in greaceful tresses did Hang down upon her sholders only jest When she did stick it up with her high comb. Her eyes was blue, her skin was snowy, and Her cheeks was red as roses only jest • When she was in distress, then they was as White as tew lillies : but neverstandin' all Her beauty and her charms, she had as much Troul^lc as any creetur ever had. The swine she loved so well was faithless and Went off and wed another maid; and then WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 135 It seemd as if Permilly's heart would bust. O I what a tender thing the shemale heart is ! So crammin', jammin', full of love and truth, And faith, and hope, and pure affection, and^ Some other things too numerous to mention I No wonder when it's stuft so dretful full A little blow should bust it — for it must Be ivident to all obsairvin' folks That when it's filld so full, the skin outside Must be streckt dietfully and always in Danger of bustin'. — So Permilly's heart Has bust, and all the overplus run out, But still there's quite a considerable of Love and aJfection in it yit, and she Has purty nigh made up her mind to giv What's left to some more worthier object than The faithless one. O I haste upo^i the wings of Love,my dear Jabez — your Perrailly feels as If she could scarcely wait a minnit longer For to behold thee, Jabez —Jabez, haste. When Ide finished writin' the oversuin' lines I was jest a guayne to retire into the house when I heerd sumbody blowin' his nose ; so I lookt up the road and as sure as Ime a livin' creetur 'twas Jabez Spriggins a hossback. The minnit I see him I run down street to meet him, and when h6 see me cummin' he got right off his hoss and cum towerds me. Well, I run right up and ketcht holt on him, exclamigatin', ** O ! my Jabez ! I'me overjoiced to see ye." He lookt wonderful supprised, and says he, *' I dident suspect to find ye so cosy, but I'm darned glad ye be. The minnit I heerd ye'd cum hum I detairmined to follow ye, but I had to wait till my quarter was out afore I could cum, and the fust day arter my quarter was out I got on my creetur and sot off arter ye for fear I should lose ye if I dident hurry — I've got that are speech of Lord Morti- 136 WID W SPRIG GINS. mer's all by heart ; ben a sayin' on't over all along the roads so's not to forgit it, and I ruther guess I can say the hull on't without missin' a word." Well, I rushered him into the square room and sot down, and he cum up to me and says he to me, " To call you mine is the haight of my wishes — on your derision ! I rest for happiness. O ! my Amandy ! " — *< Say * O ! my Permilly ! ' " says I. ' « O ! my Permilly ! — O ! my Permilly ! — there I swon I've got up a stump," says he. *« No matter," says I, ** you've proved to my satisfica- tion the devotedness of yer attachment, and He be yourn." '* Will, hay?" says he. *'Yis,"says I, *' now ye must imprint a kiss on my rosy cheek." ■ So he went to kiss me and whiskt off my turbin. Arter Ide got my turbin adjested agin, says he, ** Well, when will you be reddy to git married?" *< Right off," says I. «< Well," says he, *'Ile go and talk to the old man about it." *'No, ye needn't," says I, *' father never'll consent on airth — he's dretfully oppozed to my gittin' marriect — but He have ye neverstandin', and He tell ye how we'll man- age. You 2;it on yer boss and 0:0 strait to Utica and wait there till I cum, and He contrive to get there afore long." *' That's the checker," says he. So he surmounted his boss and rid off, and I went in and telld Ketury all about it, cause I knowd she wouldent tell nobody. Says I, " I shall clear right out, and if father axes arter me you tell him I've gone over to Skaticoke to see Mirtilly" (Mirtilly had moved to Skaticoke). Ketury was dretful pleased and said she'd do jest as I telld her to ; WIDOW SFEIGGmS. 137 and she promised to have my chist sent over to me as soon as possible. So she and I we took a gret work pockit and put my consairns into't that I wantid to be married in — then I put on my travellin' habitations and arter imbracin' Ketury I sot off for Dorrup. Well, 'twas five mile there, and when I got there the stage had went out. So I went over to old Mister Stokeses and telld 'em Ide found my mother dead and concluded to go right back to Higgins Patent cause Ide ort to be in my simminary. Well, they telld me that old Mr. Stokes was a guayne to Utica in the mornin' on bizness in his own ^vaggin, and if I was a mind to I mut go with him. *< Well," says I, *' I reckx)n I will." ** But," says Missis Stokes, ** where's yer chist? " *< O ! " says I, " I reckond I wouldent be bothered with it, and they're a guayne to send it on." Well, I stayd there all night, and in the mornin' we sot off for Utica. Old Stokes dident drive very tight, and so we was three days a guayne to Utica — but as I want to eend my Rec- ollections in this chopter, I won't tell nothin' about the jerney, tho' it was quite eventerful. We arrove to Utica jest at the edge of the evenin' and stoppt to Baggsis tavern, and I axt for a room and then I drest myself as follers. I opend my gret ridicule and took out my white long short and put it on, and thinkin' Ide ort to have sum colors about me I betwisted a yaller ribbin round the black crape trimmin' on the bottom on't — then I put on my blue sash, and huv my artifishel reath ker- lessly round my sholders, then I done up my hair with my high-toppt comb — took my leno vail and fastened one eend on't into my comb, and so let it float over my shol- ders — then I stuck my six ostridge fethers in on side of 12* 138 WID W SPRIG GINS. my comb, and tied a pink ribbin round my head to keep 'em in — and I tell ye I did look compleat. Beein' thus atj;ired I took my parrysol and sot out to look up Sprip:gins, and you never in all yer born days see sich a starin' as there was whilst I walkt up Ginnisee Street — everybody cum to the doors and winders, and ever so menny men and boys followerd arter me a hoorawin' and makin' a turrible fuss — but I was so akustomed to admireation I didn't mind it a bit, but plummenaded along with the biggest onconsairn and dignitude. Well, arter preambleatin' a number of streets, finally I cunj round to a place they called the ** Reading Room," and I stopt to the door and looked in. The room was full of gentlemen, and as sure as a gun, in the midst on 'em was Mister Spluttergut (the gentleman I met in the stage), and he was a harangewin on 'em with the most oncomparalleled eloquence, and they was all a listenin' with the biggest attention. Well, whilst I was a listenin' to the surprisin' and capti- vatin' sentiments he pored forth consairnin' railroads and canawls, I see suthin' yaller a stickin' up amonkst a mess of heads in the fur eend of the room, and whilst I was a wonderin' what 'twas, the heads moved, and lo and be- hold ! 'twas the tip top of Jabczes hair. As soon as I see him I skriekt out, '* My Jabez ! My Jabez ! " and rushed into tlie room — Jabez he see me and he lookt sur- j^rised enufF — we squoze thro' the men, and when we reaclit one another I huv myself faintin' into the arms of my adorin' Spriggins. I never see a surprisder set of folks tlian the men in the Utica Readin' Room was that minnit. They all gin way and fixt a seat for me — even Mister Spluttergut stopt his harangew, exclamigatin', *' Quite an ok-kurrence." WIDOW SPRIG GINS. 139 Well, arter a spell one of the young men hikl a lit segar to my nose, and that fetcht me tew. So I riz up and takin' hold of Sprigglnses arm we perceedid to Baggses hotel. Arter we arrove there Jabez axed me whether Ide be mar- ried there or wait till we got to Higglns Patent. *' O here, certlngly," says I, ''in this ere celebrated ho- tel — in the o^inteelest sittv in creation." So Spriggins went arter the justice, and there we w^as marrid. As soon as the serrymony was overdone, husband he calld for some pie and cheeze, and after weed eat it he brung up his boss, and as soon as Ide arrannged my trav- ellin' dress, he surmounted his creetur, and I, resisted by a number of gentlemen, got on behind him, and I swonny I bleevc the hull town of Utica was collectid to see us go, and w^hen we whipt up the hoss and sot off, they gin three all-to-pieces cheers, in honor of us. Well, we went as fast as the hoss could go with sich an oncommon heft and arrove to Higgins Patent about leven o'clock at night. Mother and Father Spriggins was abed, but they got up and I tell ye they was aw^ful glad to see me. The next arternoon Aunt Huldy made quite an extensyve set down for me, and if I dident cut a sworth it's no matter. But I hadent ort to be tellin' what took place arter we was marrid — 'cause the Childern of the Abby don't say a word consairnin Amandy arter her. marridge — no more don't no other novil I ever read say nothin' about the herowines arter they git marrid. Howsumever, I can't help tellin' how't we took a bridle tour the next week to all the most cclebratid places in the kentry — Utica, Rome, Whites- burrow, Sockwait Springs, and Verona Spa — and I kept a jernal along the road, and when P. Zebidee Gorum cum a visitin' to see us I sliow'd it to him, and it affordid him 140 WIDOW SPRIG GINS. the biggest satisfication ; and it's in my persession yit — and mabby at sum futur day He lay it afore the pubHc. " The eend of all the woes and struf^^gles, And trials of Permilly Ruggles." Note a bean. — Mister eddyter : You ondoutedly know- that arter injoyin' 15 year of the biggest conjuggial felic- itude, my adored companion, my beloved Jabez^ was took from me by a dizeaze in the spine of his back ; but mabby you've never ben conformed that arter mournin' the west way for sevei-al year I finally united my destination to that of P. Zebidee Gorum, (now deacon Gorum,) he havin' ben married and lost his pardner. My Recollections was writ durin' the mawlancolly perriod of my widderhood — but as the circumstences attendin' my second marriage was quite interestin', the deacon has advised me to write an account on ^em for the bennefit of the risin' gineration ; so if ever you git run ashore for stuff to put in yer paper, jest let me know, and if I aint too much occerpied with my domestic abberations, He be happy to giv ye sum account of my " second love.^' Yourn to everlastin' Permilly R. Spriggins Gorum. MARY ELMER, OB TRIALS J^NT) OH-A.]SraES. MAEY ELMER, OR TRIALS AND CHAI^GES, CHAPTER I. :vr^ HAT modest-looklno^ white house that stands somewhat isolated, whose is it? It seems the abode of ease without pretension." It belongs to Mrs. Lee, widow of Dr. Lee, whose sudden death, some fifteen years ago, cast a gloom over the whole community. He was in the prime of life. Talent and probity had raised him to an enviable standing in his profession, when by the mysterious ordering of Divine Providence, he was cut off without a moment's warning. Yet not, we trust, without pre2:)aration, for one whose life, like his, is a constant exercise of Christian vir- tues, cannot be unprepared for death, however or when- ever it may arrest him. He had just returned from visiting some distant patients, and was caressing his only child, wlien Mrs. Lee left the room to make preparations for tea. A few moments after, little Mary came running out, crying : (143) 144 SIAR Y ELMER, OR ** Mamma, I can't wake papa, do come and help me wake papa ! " Mrs. Lee supposed, however, that he had fallen asleep through weariness, and telling the little girl *' not to dis- turb papa," took her by the hand and led her softly back into the apartment. But what a sight was she destined to behold ! Her husband had sunk back in his chair — and, one glance at his face revealed the awful certainty — he was dead ! A piercing shriek rang through the house, and then for many hours the wretched woman knew noth- ing of what was passing around her. The horror and agony of the first hour of returning consciousness, I could not, if I would, depict. It was long, very long, before she recovered from the shock, for she had loved her husband devotedly. Yet after his death she felt that she had not fully appreciated his noble character. She knew not all his excellence until he was gone. None but herself thought that Margaret Lee had failed in any dutyiowards the departed. He had never thought so. And yet before her mind arose a thousand little errors and delinquencies, which her tender conscience macrnified into o^reat faults and failures resultins: from gross selfishness. She did not say, as many would in a like affliction, *< He was my idol and therefore Heaven has taken hhn from me." But she said, in the bitterness of her heart, *' I did not love him as I ought. I did not do half that I might have done to make him happy, and thus am I punished." The weight of such a sorrow would have crushed her, had not the care of her little dayghter contributed to divert her thoughts from running always in the same dark channel. There had been a wonderful affection between TRIALS AND CHANGES. 145 this child and her fiither, whom she strongly resembled both in features and 'disposition. • She was but three years old when he died, and for some time she could not compre- hend that he was to return no more. At every sound of a carriage, or step in the hall, she would run out to meet *'papa." When at length she was made to understand that he could not come back to her, but that if she was a good girl she would one day go to him, she gave up look- ing for her father, and seemed only desirous to be very good, that she might go to him. Many times in the day she would go to her mother, and folding her arms upon her knee would say, *' Now mamma tell Mary about papa." And then the heart-broken mother told her of her father, and the blessed place where he was waiting for them both. As she looked at the bright little being who stood with her dimpled hands resting on her mother's lap, and her deep, thoughtful eyes turned up so earnestly to her face ; she trembled that one so pure and sinless should be left to her weak and erring guidance. *' But God has committed her to me," said she, <* and He will help me." And earnestly did she pray for His help. Every evening when her mother was undressing her, the little one never failed to ask the question, '< Mamma, has Mary been a good girl to-day ? " And on receivino- an approving answer, she would say her prayer and go to sleep very happy. A few months after her father's death she was stricken with the scarlet fever. For two days she suffered in- tensely, and