UC-NRLF B 3 3M2 bbE JUST OFF THE AVENUE OTHER PLAYS BY CHARLES FREDERIC NIRDLINGER (already published or no?v in press J THE FIRST LADY OF THE LAND THE WORLD AND HIS WIFE (FOUNDED ON "EL GRAN GALEOTTO" OF EC HE- GAR AY) THE CONSUL WASHINGTON'S FIRST DEFEAT THE RUN OF THE CARDS SPANGLES MARION DE LORME (AN ADAPTATION) MORE THAN QUEEN (AN ADAPTATION) MADAME POMPADOUR THE SCANDAL AT BELCOURT'S THE PARSON'S BALLET THE POSTHUMOUS JEST OF DON MEN- DOZA AN AFTERNOON'S HONEYMOON FOUR SHORT PLAYS Containing : Aren't They Wonders?, Look After Louise, Big Kate, The Real People. JUST OFF THE AVENUE A PLAY IN THREE ACTS BY CHARLES FREDERIC NIRDLINGER NEW YORK MITCHELL KENNERLEY MCMXVII Copyright, 1917, by Charles Frederic Nirdlinger At Author and Proprietor CAUTION — This play is fully protected under the copy- right laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play without the consent of the author or his agents, will be liable to penalty under the law. JUST OFF THE AVENUE A PLAY IN THREE ACTS AND FOUR SCENES ACT ONE ACT TWO ACT THREE TWO SCENES ONE SCENE ONE SCENE THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY IN THE ORDER IN WHICH THEY FIRST SPEAK TOM SAVILE RHODA BROUGH BRUCE VAUX HIGGINS MONTRESSOR WATTS MR. GRIGGS MR. SAVILE HOMANS THE POLICEMAN MARIAN GRAY JUST OFF THE AVENUE ACT ONE [scene one] The scene is a sculpt or* s studio in the Washington Mews. The room, loxv^r at front than at hack, has a beamed ceiling. It is furnished and appointed simply, hut in perfect taste. The few pieces of furniture are notably fine antiques. There are several plaster casts standing about, some still in the making. The general effect, at a glance, shows that it is a sculptor* s habitat, and not a painter*s studio of the conventional sort. A door at right leads to the hall-way: a door at left opens on a bed-room; this door is masked by a tall mir- ror, in tarnished gilt frame with top-piece. Curtains — very dark purple or black, working on pulleys — and sliding-doors divide the two sections of the room. The up-stage section — the scuIptor*s work-room — has a skylight. At back are French windows, opening on a balcony. Beneath the skylight stands an equestrian statue, of heroic size, of *' Don Quixote.** Platform and frame- work show that the statue is not yet completed. The statue is only partly in view at RISE OF CURTAIN, the curtains being drawn. 1 JUST OFF THE AVENUE On a " dummy " is a woman^s costume of Spain, pe- riod of 17th century: splendid in stuff and color, A small '* drop " or '* fiat " shows a number of wind- mills. There is a fire-place, left, with a tea-kettle whistling on the crane; and stretched between th^ tall andirons some drying laundry: handkerchiefs, socks, white gloves, and a sculptor's blouse. Tom Samle, a young, boyish-looking painter stands, right, at easel, engaged on picture of a " nude.'' He " visions " it from various angles, obviously dissatis- fied with his work. A suit-of -armor sits in loose, lounging attitude, and half -turned from audience, on a chair left: one hand rests in lap, holding a book. TOM (to the suit-of -armor) Not so bad, eh? (There is no answer) Little too — much — hip? H'm, h'm. (Puts brush to pic- ture) That's better — (to armor) — don't you think? (No answer) (Rhoda's voice heard off from hall, mlth a cheery '* Ho-ho! " of signal) TOM (in same tone) " Ho-ho ! " RHODA (at half-opened door) Anything doing? TOM (assenting, but not looking from his work) Figure ! KHODA (closes door, but immediately reopens it) No face ? — shoulders ? — neck ? TOM (same tone) Figure ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 3 RHODA (repeats business at door) Hands? — feet? (Extends^ in turn, one of each) TOM (in sing-song voice) Figure ! To-day I'm doing only figure. EHODA Adios ! Senor ! (Closes door zcith bang) TOM (Rushes to open door, but finds it held fast) (Calls over transom) Come back, you monkey ! — The " old man " will be here presently. (Rhoda re- enters) I knew that would fetch you. (Rhoda is about eighteen: pretty rath-er than beautiful. She has on a velvet Tam-o'-shanter hat: and over a black skirt and a shirt-zcaist of obvious cheapness — though of good " style " — she wears a costly fur- coat — a man's coat and much too large for her. Her loose tie is black, and on her arm is a mourn- ing-band) RJIODA Mr. Vaux won't want me till late. TOM What are you doing out at this hour? KHODA It's dull at the shop — and we're on half-time — most of us. — (wistfully) And I thought — maybe you might — (Turns to go) TOM Don't go ! — Vaux may want you when he gets back. He's up at City Hall. EHODA (all alive) 'Bout the statue? JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM (wJiUe working) Yes ! — They'll accept it to-day — the Aldermen — or turn it down ! EHODA (with meaning) Don't break your heart over it (crosses her fingers) 'cause he's — (indicates statue) — going to take first prize ! (Thrusts her crossed fingers at him) First prize ! TOM 'Gainst those " wire-pullers " ? Schnaubengigl — Mulcahy — Goldoni, and that crowd ? — Lucky if he gets second prize — or a mention. RHODA He wouldn't accept it. (Makes to go) TOM Wait — and see ! KHODA I shall! (Notes the *' laundry '*: throws off coat, a7id, taking flat-iron from fire-place, begi/ns to iron handkerchiefs, etc.) I've an hour or two — and if you can't use me ^— TOM (ijizaingly) Figure, only ! RHODA Tom Savile — don't your figures ever have a face.? TOM O, I can imagine a face — (Pokes at her features, with his brush) — a mouth — nose — pair of eyes. — But when it comes to the — (Indicates figure on canvas) — well, my art — all the best art — is from Missouri. JUST OFF THE AVENUE RHODA It should stay there — and never leave home and mother — like that. (Nods to picture, 'cross her shoulder) What do you call it? TOM " Purity " — (Tidying to get her to look) — See if you don't think it suggests purity. RHODA (not looking up from her ironing) I'm sure it doesn't ! — or you wouldn't have to label it. — In our grocery-department they only put the Pure Food labels on stuff that (uith gesture) — just " gets by " the Board of Health.— And I don't be- lieve she could even do that ! TOM One of the girls from your shop " posed " it ; but I don't like her lines. RHODA (ziith mingled humor and sympathy) Poor thing! TOM You think it's wrong? RHODA (promptly) No ! — Not wrong — or all you nice chaps wouldn't be doing it. TOM Least of all, Rhoda, I wouldn't ask you to pose. RHODA Of course not. — I know that. TOM Old Vaux himself will tell you it's all right. RHODA He has told me — '* old " Vaux — some of the very nicest girls in the world are models — for figure — > 6 JUST OFF THE AVENUE (Tom nods *' yes "J — that he never knew one that wasn't a real lady — at heart — (Tom nods '* yes "J — that it's perfectly all right to pose — and that I shouldn't do it! TOM (peeved) The old humbug! RHODA (off her guard) Shut up ! — How old ? TOM Old enough to be called a failure. RHODA I know some failures, 'round here, much younger than Mr. Vaux. — (Flaring) Who calls him a failure ? TOM The men in his own line. RHODA Jealous ! TOM Artists — " jealous ".^ RHODA (nods " yes **) Don't I hear our window-dressers — roast each other's display? (Imitating) "Great! — Yes! — but — a dead-steal from Altman's." — I'm no judge of art — except when I hear one of you fellows tell a friend : " that's the best thing you ever did ! " — Then I know it's rotten ! TOM (laughing) I'm not sure you'd do for an artist's wife. RHODA I'm sure — I wouldnH. JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM Still, I'm going to risk it, Rhoda — marry you. RHODA (with mock seriousness) Have you spoke to my family? TOM (laughing ) No, but I've spoken to mine — told them I mean to marry you. RHODA ( chafjlugly ) And 3^ou live to tell the tale? — Mr. Savile, you know so little of my people. TOM Nothing ! RHODA They were very ambitious people — one of the first families of MacDougall's Alley ; some of their old neighbors can tell you about them — specially 'bout father ! — Lord, if he ever thought I'd marry a painter — son of a mere, every-day, common million- aire — and just now, when they're so very common! TOM But, Rhoda, this is serious, — really ! RHODA (laughing) I'll bet it w^as serious, when you told father. TOM Why, girl, you know I'm mad about you ! (Trying to embrace her) RHODA (drawing away) Go 'long, boy ! — You're " mad " 'bout every girl comes here ! You're what we call a — " steady fusser ! " — the worst " fusser " in the Square. — You don't even pretend it's love — or poetry — or soul- 8 JUST OFF THE AVENUE stuff you're after — to put into your work ; you're just a — a regular Anarchist. TOM But I do care for you — you know that! — (With every show of sincerity) And I'm serious — terri- bly serious. (Makes to put arm about her) RHODA (holding hot iron toward him) Don't be ! — Cause you're funny when you're serious — and serious only when you're funny — having a good-time — with the crowd — at Pedro's, — Then I like you ! TOM Let's go to Pedro's ! — Come on ! (She indicates " no "J Or the Lafayette? (She repeats *' no ") Well, it's something that you like me at all. RHODA (with coquetry) 'Course I like you. — Couldn't help it — with Mr. Vaux always talking about you. TOM (lightly) The old man's some use! RHODA (assenting with a nod) For a — "failure." — He says you're the finest ever ! — I don't know how he figures it out — but he certainly thinks so. TOM Then you'll think so, some day. RHODA (with coquetry) Perhaps. TOM And, then, of course, you'll marry me. (Approaches her) JUST OFF THE AVENUE RHODA Rot, Tom Savile! TOM '' Rot Tom "— ? RHODA (crosses right — puts ironed 'kerchiefs on table) Yes, and Tommy-rot ! — You must think I'm a fool to believe such — (In surprise, lets drop the flat-iron) Why — Tom Savile ! — You've been — (Tries to seize the picture from easel) (Tom intervenes, laughing) (Pointing to face of picture) That's me ! TOM (K'ith fervor) Of course it's you ! How could I do any one else? — when I'm always thinking of you — dreaming — and mooning over you. — Who should I paint? RHODA (again trying to seize the picture) Your model ! — paint your model ! — TOM Whatever model I use, it's your face I see: you're always before me — on my palette — canvas — brushes ! — Vaux will tell you — RHODA He's seen this? TOM What if he has? — What of it? Every painter does that with the woman he loves — RHODA (in fury) But you've no right ! — He told me not to ! And I don't believe he — He wouldn't allow you — (Struggles to get at the picture, Tom holding her off with arm about her waist; — when there is a turmoil heard off at back: two or three voices; a cry of pain; 10 JUST OFF THE AVENUE and the stamp of horse-hoofs) (Enter Vaux, at back; aglow from his walk in the clear wintry day. Bizarre in his attire, and markedly picturesque in ap- pearance. Moustachios and goatee like Don Quix- ote's in the usual pictures. Straight-rimmed silk hat; frock coat — bell-skirted — tight at waist; long cape, gloves with gauntlets; carries umbrella or stick as if it were a lance. Habitually wears a bouton- niere) (Vauoc^s manner is that of a man who knozes that people think him " strange,'' " queer,'* *' not quite all-there "; but he knows better, and twinkles with enjoyment of their mistake) (Vaux pauses, be- tween the curtains at back aiid speaks to some one off) VAUX (caressingly) Good girl, Cosie ! — Good girl ! — And serves you right, Jake ! (Change of tone) The man who lays his hand on a woman save in the way of kindness is a — a — (Rather to himself) — wretch whom 'twere base flattery to name — a coward — (With sym- pathy) I'll send him down the liniment — (Turns and sees Rhoda who has risen on his appearance) (He greets her with a sweeping, courtly boxv) (Then takes a black-bottle from shelf; reads label) " Good for man or beast " — that's it ! RHODA I'll take it down. VAUX No, No \ Just put it on the dumb-waiter. (Bows her to left) (Rhoda exits) (After glance to make sure Rhoda is not in sight, he drops some coins into a JUST OFF THE AVENUE 11 beautiful vase on mantel; then places in vase two or three roses that he's brought in) TOM Who's hurt? VAUX Jake, the janitor. TOM Three cheers ! — Who by? VAUX Cosie ! — He struck and cursed her — as I came in. At sight of me he turned to explain and apologize and — (Hesitates lest Rhoda hear) TOM (jumping in. Kith gl'ee) And Cosie kicked him — in the interim. VAUX (twinkling) If the interim is the broadest part of Jake's anatomy, that's where she kicked him. — (Rhoda re-enters) (A loud, rumbling voice heard off, from below: ** Potztausend! " " Donnerwetter! " etc., etc.) VAUX Is that Cosie he's talking to? (Makes to go) RHODA (A woman's voice heard off, in vigorous retort) No ! Gretchen, his wife. VAUX (relieved) O ! — His wife can talk back, but our Cosie is — help- less. (With fire) How can one be rough to such a patient, gentle creature? — Why, just to look at her! TOM Cosie's not much to look at ! VAUX All the more reason for kindness — and chivalry. 12 JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM (through laughter) There you go 1 — " chivalry " — even to that wrack- of-bones ! vAux (as he shifts into place a " dummy " horse: scrawny, raw-honed, hob-tailed — a caricature of a horse) But her every bone for me — an inspiration ! What Venus-Rising- from-the-Sea — (Points to cast of " Venus *') — wa^ to Praxiteles — Cosie, rescued from the pedlar's-cart, is to my " Don Quixote." (Indicates statue) And when her work is done, she'll live in clover, — like all of us I (Looks to Rhoda) RHODA (eagerly) Have they took it? — at City Hall? VAUX No ! but — TOM There are a chance? vAUx (assenting) My " Quixote " is one of the three designs from which they'll select, finally, the two prize-winners. TOM Who are your two rivals? VAUX Schnaubengigl and Goldoni. RHODA Foreigners, of course ! VAUX But both great men ! — And Art knows no country. — There were mobs of Schnaubengigl's countrymen at City Hall — and Goldoni's — to remind the alder- men. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 13 TOM (with laugh) You lose! (Rhoda makes gesture of throwing flat- iron at him) TOM (quickly) I mean only — what do they know of " Don Quixote " with his knight-errants and " chivalry " ? — Most people now-a-days think him a " nut " ! VAUX (assenting) God pity them ! — (Suddenly remembering that he is smoking) (To Rhoda) I beg your pardon — RHODA I like a cigar — VAUX Thank you — but I suspect this isn't ; it's a — (Looks at band) '' Cachuca." (Throws it away) RHODA (talking at Tom, who is puffing a cigarette) It can't be worse than some cigarettes. TOM Now, Vaux, put something like this — (Points to his " nude ") — on the horse — call it " Lady Godiva " — and you'll get somewhere. VAUX Thank you ! Not with naked ladies ! TOM You don't think it's art? VAUX Yes, yes — for artists ! TOM But not for the public? VAUX When it comes to " Lady Godivas " — the public are mostly " Peeping Toms." 14 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX (to Higgins, the model, in suit-of -armor) Higgins ! (No response: Vaux shakes him, with no response except a snore) Higgins! (Louder) Higgins! Engarde! (Higgins jumps to his feet and lets hook fall to floor) Sorry to disturb you. (Picks up fallen hook) HIGGINS (flustered) I — I — was reading " Don Quixote." VAUX (looking at hook) Yes, I heard you. — How far did you get with him ? HIGGINS To the wind-mills — (With gesture) — I just got through fighting the wind-mills. VAUX (kindly) And, naturally, 3^ou were exhausted. HIGGINS He was himself — the book says — VAUX You've caught the spirit ! — (With fire) Now, man, to horse! (Higgins mounts the " studio *' horse) VAUX (to Rhoda) If you will, dear lady.? — (Points to " Dulcinea " cos- tume on dummy) (Rhoda takes costume: goes he- hind screen, puts it on, reappears, and sits facing Higgins) VAUX (gives Higgins a lance) Lance in rest ! — Charge ! — Rout the monsters ! (Vaux hegins work on the plaster model of the statue, hilt stops at sight of Higgins^ awkward, lackadaisical pose, which he tries to " huck up '* two or three times, with jahs and valiant words) That wouldn't rout them, Higgins ! — Unhorse them ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 15 HiGGiNs (perplexed) " Unhorse " wind-mills ! VAUX You and I know they're wind-mills — but to Don Quixote they are living demons — cruel, merciless giants. He must conquer, — kill them — to save the world — (Points to Rhoda) — and win his Dulcinea. (Eyes -fixed on Rhoda) Think — think of winning Dulcinea — for your very own ! HiGGiNs (naively) I've got SL woman. VAUX (with stamp of foot) That word, Higgins ! How often must I tell you? — You're not in the vein to-day ! — And I don't know what more I can do, to put you in the spirit of Quixote — and keep you there ! — You have a horse — (Indicates the wooden, *' studio-horse "j — a fiery, prancing steed — or as near a horse as may be, when we can't work out-doors. — You have the wind-mills Quixote rode against. — (Indicates the " scene-piece " of wind-mills ) You have his helmet, shield and lance — or quite as good as his — and you have here — looking up into your eyes — a Dulcinea such as any Knight would die for! HIGGINS Maybe — if I had a drink — VAUX (in despair) Ah ! That's where your mind is — not wind-mills — gin-mills ! (Takes lance from Higgins) No more to-day, Higgins ! — Take them off. — (Indicates coat- of-mail) (To Rhoda) We'll stop. Miss Brough. (Rhoda goes behind screen to remove costume) 16 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HiGGiNs (plaintively, as he removes armor) But, Mr. Vaux — VAUX (shakes his head " no ") HIGGINS (gloomily ) I counted on these two hours. VAUX You're not in the mood. HIGGINS I'm out of money, Mr. Vaux. VAUX That you shall have — (Makes to take coins from pocket, or desk) HIGGINS (declining) W^ithout earning it? VAUX Certainly not ! — Take Cosinante for a walk — • 'round the Square ; — let her gaze on the battle-arch ; then over to the Avenue, under the " L " — as the trains thunder by ; — and where they're blasting for the sub-way ! So she gets the smell of powder, the roar and boom of battle ! — She'll " pose " the better, for it — and you, too ! (During the above speech, Vaux has placed a cheval-mirror before him, and makes ready to work on the statue with himself as model) (Higgins takes off the helmet, and shows himself clean-shaven) VAUX (in dismay) Higgins! What have you done with your face? (Indicates moustache and goatee) HIGGINS (feels for his moustache and goatee: panicky) The barber — the barber — he did it ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 17 VAUX (distressed) What were jou thinking of ! — We had you trained to a hair ! (Pidls at his moustache) And Cosie had come to know you — even with visor down ! — She'd never get used to you this way ! HIGGINS Well, my worn — (Correcting at a glance from Vaux) — my lady — couldn't get used to me that way. (Pulls at imaginary goatee) VAUX Ah, your wife? HiGGixs (sniffling) Yes, — Mr. Vaux, she's kind o' superstitious about my face : says goatees are unlucky. — I told her you'd be angry — VAUX " Angry "? — Delighted, Higgins, — that you bow to your lady's caprice. Quixote would have done the same. — (Soothingly) We'll find something else for you — RHODA (from hehijid screen) Mr. Wills, the floor below, is doing some Apollos — for a health-belt poster — VAUX (to Tom) Speak a good word for Higgins — you know Wills. (Tom exits) (To Higgins) See him, later — when you've brought Cosie home. — (Takes a pair of horse- blinders from the studio-horse) And I'll put these blinders on her — so she won't see you full-face. — She's high-strung — and if she missed the — (Ges- tures moustache and goatee) (Exits) 18 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HiGGiNs (to Rhoda, still behind screen) (Confi- dentially) I've got something good — RHODA (interrupting) Not to-day — it's my rent-day. HIGGINS But this is sure — absolutely sure ! ^ RHODA No ! — I must pay my rent — HIGGINS It's a crime — to pay rent — with this tip — straight from the stable. RHODA No! HIGGINS And first time out ! RHODA No! No! — What track.? Mexico? HIGGINS No ! You can't get the " dope " on Mexico. — One day they're out for Villa, the next for Carranza. — This is Pimlico — third race — and absolutely sure! RHODA (with finality) No ! No ! No ! — W^hat odds ? HIGGINS Fifty — twenty — and five to show. — And it's crim- inal — RHODA So are the odds ! — (Comes from behind screen) What's the horse.? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 19 HIGGINS " You're a Dog-gone Dangerous Girl " — (RJioda looks incredulous) That's her name! RHODA That explains the odds. — Here! (Gives him some money) (He makes a wry face) All I can spare, to-day. (Takes up her fur coat) HIGGINS You could make a killing — with that coat. EHODA (shocked) Sell it? HIGGINS No ! — Hock it ! RHODA In this weather ! — What a chance ! HIGGINS It's a crime to lose the chance ! — You could burn-up the book-makers with it. RHODA And freeze me without it. HIGGINS You'd have it back, after the race. — It's a crime not to — RHODA No! HIGGINS The third race only — and they start early at Pim- lico. I'll fetch your coat when I go for mine. RHODA No, Higgins. — That's all I risk — JUST OFF THE AVENUE HiGGiNs (almost tearfully) It's a crime — crime 1 — crime I — not to plunge on that horse — You're robbing your children — some day. KHODA (taking corns from handkerchief ) Well, here's two more — on " You're Dog-gone Dan- gerous " horse ! HIGGINS I'll play her for " show." EH CD A No, no — play her for excitement ; fifty-to-one ! — What good's five-to-one, on a two dollar bet? (Re- enter Vaua;: in season to see Higgins stuff the money into his pocket) HIGGINS (taking a cigar from box on table) May I, Mr. Vaux? VAUX Certainly ! — (Quickly) But you're walking-out with the horse 1 — Get a real cigar — (Gives him a coin) Corona or Romeo. — Cosie doesn't like these — (Indicates box) — " Cachucas " — I've smoked them, once or twice, in her presence — and she bucked ! HIGGINS (makes to put cigar in pocket) I'll smoke it at home. VAUX Before your wife! (Takes cigar from Higgins and throws it in box) (Higgins makes to exit) (Tom re-enters) TOM (to Higgins) Mr. Wills wants to know what weight. HIGGINS (his mind on the race) Only eighty-five pounds — by the Morning Tele — I'll tell him — (Makes to rush out) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 21 VAUx (calling after) Your over-coat, Higgins ! — HIGGINS I left it up-town. VAUX It's bitter cold, out. HIGGINS I'll get my coat, later. (Turns his coat-collar up) VAUX Meanwhile, you'd best wear mine. (Points to his over-coat on rack) HIGGINS (eagerly) Yes, that would be — (Starts to put on Vaux's coat) (Rhoda hums: " You* re a Dog-go tie Dangerous Girl " j No, — that would be a crime — in this weather! (Exits quickly) (Rhoda approacJies Tojn's canvas, ominously) (Tom resumes work at easel, to ward her off) VAUX Miss Brough — pardon, if I seem impertinent — Higgins, I know is often in straits — but, surely, you've nothing to spare — RHODA (flustered) No, no — that was for — well, you see — Higgins does some little — commissions — for me, now and then, and I — VAUX I beg your pardon — and his. (As Rhoda makes to exit) My dear lady — (Bows toward a vase in which are two roses — and some corns) — there's a rose due you — and — (Shakes his finger reprov- ingly) — for your previous visit also ! — Two ^2 JUST OFF THE AVENUE hours. (She takes the roses and some coins from the vase; ties coins into corner of her handkerchief and hursts into laughter) VAUX Yes, it is ridiculous : such pittance for the priceless service you do me ! No wonder j^ou laugh ! RHODA (still laughing) I'm laughing because — well, I come here and have the time of my life and get paid for it ! (Exits with hoi& to Vaux, hut ignoring Tom) (A slight, silent pause: Tom staring at the door that closed on Khoda; Vaux engaged on his work) TOM Bah! (Throwing his hrush across the room) What's the use — of paint, if you haven't — genius. VAUX But you don't know you haven't — until you've failed — and know you have failed. (Takes SavUe's palette and hrush; " dahs " his canvas) TOM (meanly) And when you know that, you're forty ! (Crosses to fire-place) VAUx (at work 07i SaviWs picture) Yes, but meanwhile, you've had the joy of trying. — Make the most of Avhat you have ! — fight your best with what you have! — as he did! — (Nods to *' Quixote " j His helmet a copper dish-pan : his coat-of-mail — forged from old well-chains : his leg- greaves, a couple of stove-pipes from the junk-shop: his unvanquished lance he cut himself from a sturdy oak — and poor Cosinante, who bore him victor in a hundred battles — he got her — in the nick of JUST OFF THE AVENUE 23 time — from the sausage-makers. (Turning from canvas) There 1 That's better. TOM (re-crosses to easel) (angrily) Why, you've changed — taken out — the face — (Seizes brush and palette from Vaux) VAux (kindly) Yes, and you keep it out ! TOM (impudently) Will I? (Starts to paint) VAUX (zcith vehemence ) Or get out! (With gesture) TOM (beaten, but rather bewildered by Vaux's outburst) If Rhoda doesn't mind, I don't see why you — (Vau^ glares at him) — but, of course, if you feel that way ! (Puts doum brush and palette) VAUX (gently) You will, too — when you're forty ! — You love Miss Brough, don't you ? — TOM Rhoda? Of course! VAUX Want to make her your wife? TOM What's that to do with — ? (Points to picture) Plenty men — great artists — have " done " the women they married. But they didn't think then they were going to marry. They'd tell you so — the best of them — in their cups — or the twilight. TOM (sulky) You ought to be a monk, Vaux — not an artist ! m JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX (pleasantly) Perhaps I'm not ! Cheer up ! — till we hear from the Aldermen — what they think of me. (Goes up stage: works on the statue) (Tom drops cover OT^er his canvas: cleans brushes, etc.) (Enter Mon~ tressor Watts: a typical literary hack; in the thir- ties: *' seedy'' in dress, rather alcoholic in color; slightly bald: long drooping moustache. He opens the door cautiously: sees Vaua: absorbed in work, tip- toes to Tom, so as not to be seen by Vau^) WATTS (sotto-voce, almost pantomime) How is he — (Indicates Vaux) — calm? or — "touchy"? TOM Watts ! Are y oil always broke ? WATTS No, no ! — His mood, I mean — his mood : is he — receptive ? TOM (frowns and shakes his head vigorously: " No, no "j (sotto-voce ) Trouble with Higgins ! (gestures distraction) All upset. WATTS (tiptoes quickly to the door, where he motions some one back, then gum-shoes up stage, and stands back of Vaux, as if admiring his work. Vaux sees him in tlie mirror and turns) VAUX Good-afternoon, Watts. WATTS (urging him to resume work) Go on ! go on ! while the frenzy is with you — unless you can spare — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 25 VAUX (interrupting, as he makes to take money from pocket) Certainly — WATTS (jumping in) No, no — a moment's all I want — if you can spare a moment — (Takes folded newspaper from breast- pocket, opens it and hands to Vau^) Possibly, though, you've seen this — VAUX (with delight and siir prise) Your portrait? WATTS (assenting) In every morning-paper — to-day ! ™ And the Even- ing Post! VAUX You are getting on! (Reads, through a single- glass) " Interview with the famous writer, Mon- tressor Watts " — (Pats Watts on shoulder, approv- ingly) Ah ! talent will — (Gestures ascending) TOM ( sneeringly ) Hot-air, too ! VAUX (continues the reading) " The brilliant young author of ' Millions in a Jit- ney ' "— WATTS (correcting) " JifFy "— Misprint ! — " IMillions in a JifFy "— VAUX (continues) — the book of the hour — relates his impressions of ''The Royal Sneeze''— (Turns to Watts bezvil- dered) "The Royal Sneeze''? WATTS That's a brand of snufF ! — Just put on sale ! 26 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX But you don't " snufF " ! WATTS Good God, no ! VAUX Oh, I see, this is fiction? — I hope they paid your usual rates. WATTS (protesting) Nothing ! Nothing ! Mere expression of my views ! — I couldn't possibly accept remuneration for an in- terview. — But they did pay handsomely to use my portrait. (Shows a roll of hills) VAUX (still reading, appromngly ) H'm ! Style ! — even this has style ! TOM What you been doing, Watts — a " best seller ".'^ WATTS (with offended dignity) I hope not ! " Best seller " ! — Rot, every one of them ! No more style — literary style — than my Chinaman's laundry-bill. Written down — all of 'em, down to the groundlings. TOM (guying) And you go on writing up — over their heads ? Shakespeare didn't. WATTS I should say not ! That's the one thing I envy him for : no illusions about his public ! Wrote right down to their level — every time. TOM Why don't you? WATTS I wish I could bring myself to it — write the way JUST OFF THE AVENUE 27 Shakespeare did : (with disdain) — give the public what they want — There's money in it ! vAux (looks at him sharply) The snufTs working! WATTS (apologetic) Well, I begin to wonder whether I've been quite just toward this — stranger. (Taps his purse-pocket) VAUX (assenting ) Improves on personal acquaintance. WATTS ( exidtant ) Good ! You are receptive ! (Goes quickly to door and opens) (Calls) ]\Ir. Griggs. (Ushers in Mr. Griggs) (Griggs is brisk, sanguine, forceful — and uneducated. His clothes — rather loud — obviously from an expensive tailor: too much so for correct- ness; but he bears the signs of up-to-date prosperity — including plenty of showy jewelry) WATTS (presenting him — to Vaux) Mr. Griggs — Mr. Bruce Vaux — the sculptor — ■ and Mr. Savile — a painter. GRIGGS (extends hand to Vaux) My friend's — (Indicates Watts) — been telling me about your statue. VAUX But didn't I see you, while ago, up at City Hall? GRIGGS (nods " yes "J I was there boosting 3^our " Ky-oty " — WATTS (sotto-voce) (To Griggs) Qui-ote ! — Mr. Griggs is a patron of the Arts. VAUX You collect.^ 28 JUST OFF THE AVENUE GRIGGS Not SO much collect as distribute. — When I get hold of something beautiful I want to share it with the whole world — from Maine to California — the Lakes to the Gulf — same's I'm doing with Watts. WATTS Noble sentiment! GRIGGS And from what he tells me about your Dan O'Keety — WATTS (correcting: sotto-voce) — Qui-ote ! — Qui-ote ! — GRIGGS • — I don't believe a man has a right to monopolize such a — a — che — (Looks at Watts qTiestion- ingly) WATTS Chef-d'oeuvre — GRIGGS — Such a che-figger — properly handled — would do US no end of good — (Watts is disconcerted) be the making of yow. WATTS Mr. Vaux doesn't think of himself — in this work. — I've told you, repeatedly — his motif : (with gran- diose gesture) to relight the fires of chivalry ! GRIGGS And it sure will! VAUX (delighted) You think so? GRIGGS Sure ! — if he's worked right. — I'd make him kind JUST OFF THE AVENUE 29 of moral-bracer to the world — from Portland M-E to Portland 0-R — the Lakes to the Gulf — a sort of antidote to — most everything — from Charlie Chaplin to the Kaiser. (Laughs loudly at his oxen joke. Starts to slap Vaux on hack, hut changes his mind at glare from Watts) VAUX I've no such wild ambitions, — though I do hope for some good — from what I cut in stone. GRIGGS Yes, but what use cut stone, if you don't cut ice? Stuck away in some millionaire's art-gallery — or tucked away down here, it won't do much good — 'cept among your own bunch — who don't need it — from what I hear about you. — You've got to put that where folks'll see it — millions of them. VAUX That's the intention of the Aldermen — if they like it — by God's Grace. GRIGGS I hope they don't — for your sake ! — Where'd they put him? VAUX The new Court House! GRIGGS And who'd see him there? — Lawyers! — That's no company for Mister Ky-oty — AVATTs (turns away despairingly) GRIGGS (continues) — from what your friend (Indicates Watts) says about him. so JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX I'd prefer him in the Park — some Public Square. GRIGGS (protestmg) That means car-fare for most folks. — And they'd never " get " him. — You must hand it to them — on a silver platter. VAUX (bewildered) I — I don't quite understand — GRIGGS Copies ! — Duplicates — Statuettes — Plaster- Paris stuff! — From Casco, Maine, to 'Frisco, Cal. — the Lakes to the Gulf.— That's what I'd do with — Mr. Ky-oty : make him a house-hold word ! — That's your idea, isn't it? VAUX (rather shame-faced) I've had such dreams — (Lost m reverie) GRIGGS Dreams don't get you anywhere! I'll show you the real thing ! — if the Aldermen don't " crab " him. (Taps him on shoulder) Just wake-up and put a price on your figger. — I'll pay anything in reason. VAUX (fully awake, and excited — almost to ecstasy) You have paid, already : with your zeal — en- thusiasm — your sympathy and understanding. — That is price enough ! — I'll go up to City Hall — — at once — and withdraw from the competition. — He is yours ! — (Makes to rush out) WATTS (intervening) Before you go, Vaux — arrange with Mr. Griggs — the price. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 31 VAUX (xvildly) Copies — duplicates — statuettes — my dream ! That's price enough — the only price ! GRIGGS Nix ! I'm not around stealing candy from children nor deceiving the blind — (Takes out his cJwqtie- book and writes) Business is business ! — Five thousand dollars for the statue — that's what you'd get from the Aldermen — if you took first-prize — five thousand dollars (hands Vaux the cheque, who takes it gingerly) and ten cents royalty — (To the others) — you witness this — it'll go in the contract — ten cents royalty on every hundred cigars. — ■ (Gif^es Vau^ and others a luxurious cigar) vAux (bracing himself) "Cigars"? WATTS (quickly) Mr. Griggs is Envo}^ from the Court of Lady Nico- tine ! GRIGGS I represent the Smoker's Syndicate — and its allied interests. WATTS (explaining) Including " The Royal Sneeze." VAUX H'm — And you want my statue to advertise your wares ? GRIGGS No ! No ! I want our wares to advertise your statue. (To Watts) You know what we can do with his "Don Cre-o-soty ".? 32 JUST OFF THE AVENUE vAux (minces at the blunder) WATTS (correcting, sotto-voce) Qui-ote! Qui-ote! ! Qui-ote! ! ! GRIGGS We'll make another " Kewpie " ! — of Mister Kew- poty! VAUX (blankly) Will you? Indeed? GRIGGS Yes, or a second " Billikens." VAUX (tmnkling) (To the " dummy " with the cos- tume) You hear that, Dulcinea? They'll make your knight a second " Billikens " ! — You think he'd like that?- — No! Never! It would be sacrilege! — (Offers to return cheque to Griggs, who declines it) I thank you — but — well — it's not being done 5 TOM ( persuadingly ) The deuce it isn't ! Look at the " Angelus " — Millet's master-piece — used to advertise a pianola ! GRIGGS A hand-organ — only played with your feet \ VAUX (protesting ) I shouldn't want that on my conscience. WATTS There's Millais's " Bubbles " — painted by order — to " puff " a soap. VAUX Millais had a large family — and needed the money. WATTS (picks up an eye-shade) And this bit of humble card-board — (Puts it on the JUST OFF THE AVENUE S3 head of " the young Pericles " j — advertised in every optician's shop — by this master-work of Phidias. GRIGGS He doesn't object! vAux (with suppressed humor) Nor shall I — when I'm dead two thousand years ! — (Puffing the cigar, with obvious delight) Still, this cigar, I admit, is worth a statue ! GRIGGS That's imported! The cigar we want to push is our own make — the " Cachuca." VAUX (staggered) Oh, the "Cachuca"? GRIGGS The " pet " of the Trust — and a knock-out — for five cents. VAUX H'm, I see ! GRIGGS We want to push its sale up into the millions. VAUX With the help of my " Don Quixote "? — No, thank you ! — You can't have it — for the " Cachuca " ! (Thrusts cheque on him) GRIGGS Why.? Because it's Trust-made.? VAUX No ! no ! I've no feeling 'gainst Trusts — as Trusts. GRIGGS Then, why.? — Because it's a five-cent cigar? JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX No ! — Because it's a rotten bad cigar — your Cachuca ! I smoke them. — (Takes one from box, and thrusts it at Griggs) (With fervor) They are the sign and symbol of the very things he fought against ! — The world calls them wind-mills, but they were really — in one shape or other — : Cachucas ! — I mean that figure (indicates the statue — cut in spotless Carrara — to revive his spirit in men — the spirit of chivalry to the gentle, tender, helpless sex ! — And you'd have him adver- tise your rude, cruel, brutal — spread these broad- cast — by the millions — like an influenza ! — Did you ever see a lady encounter a Cachuca? Or think of her feelings at the mere approach, of one? GRIGGS (laughing) I never did think of that ! VAUX That's the trouble! You don't think of those soft, sensitive, delicate creatures : neither in great crises nor — cigars. And from «uch disregard of their feelings, comes all the evils of modem life and society! (Beating Griggs down, with each item) That's why you have wars — filthy tenements — (Points to the one seen through window at hack) — the tired, starved young girls in shop and factory — the jammed, reeking sub- ways and tram-cars — all the horrors and cruelties of the day — right down to your dirty milk at twelve cents and doubtful eggs at sixty I GKiGGS (protesting) I don't sell the milk and eggs I JUST OFF THE AVENUE 35 VAUX They are only Cachucas in other form — And you sell them! GRIGGS (extending cheque) But with this in bank, you won't have to smoke 'em. VAUX No ! But other poor devils will ! — And ladies must smell them! — I'll not have that on the conscience of my Quixote! — Your Cachuca is well proportioned — securely rolled — and neatly varnished, — and I might consider your offer — if your powerful Trust can devise some subtle means — to make it out of tobacco instead of sawdust, shoe-strings and fish-oil ! (Gives him the " Cachuca " cigar and makes to exit) GRIGGS (peeved and threatening) Mr. Vaux — I always get what I go for — in some shape or other — and I suppose we can get some kind of a " Don Mos-quito " — somewhere. VAUX (turns) Doubtless ! There's no patent on him ! GRIGGS (cajolingly) I won't say as good as yours ! VAUX (comes doicn) Yes, yes — better — some of them — much better — for your purpose ! Because so different from my Quixote. — I see this knight a joyous, exultant soul! His lean, lithe, ungainly form tense with love-of- battle — for the weak and helpless. — His face, not drawn, haggard, rueful — but gay, smiling, radiant with victory, glorified by the holy cause that he made his own, against a world grown careless, cruel, discourteous to womanhood ! — That's how I mean 36 JUST OFF THE AVENUE him to look — by God's help ! But most " Don Quixotes," you'll find, in pen, paint or marble, look like — like — well, as if they'd been smoking your Cachucas ! (Exits to alcove) GRIGGS (to Watts) (angrily) You said he was hard-up ! WATTS (assenting) Desperately ! GRIGGS Doesn't look so ! — (Puts cheque vn pocket) — I wasn't prepared for this ! WATTS I warned you — you'd need — tact. GRIGGS "Tact?" — He needs a strait-jacket! (Exits, slamming door) (Watts and Tom follow) (Vaux re-enter Sy carrying a whiskey-carafe: gets from " kitchenette " a small jar of dried herrings, and a box of crackers; pours a glass of the carafe's con- tents — cold tea — which he is about to drink, when there's a knock at door) VAUX Come ! (Enter Savile — Tom's father. He is tall and spare: — of strong, " iron " face; his manner brusque, decisive, domineering; his speech, sharp, clear-cut, rather rasping) VAUX Just in time, Mr. Savile ! — Join me. (Moves to take up another glass) SAVILE I don't drink. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 37 VAUX Not even cold tea or — (Offers) — a dried herring? SAViLE (declining) Thank you. (Throws book, papers, etc., from chair, and dusts it off before sitting down) VAUX Very bracing — I learned in Japan — (Continues his repast) (SavUe offers envelope) What's that? S A VILE Tom's ecote — for the studio-rent. — I brought it, 'cause he didn't give you last month's. (Tosses envelope on table) VAUX (as if to recall) Didn't he? SAVILE No! VAUX (apologetic, for Tom) Lately, he's had several models — sitting. SAVILE Where? — Lafayette restaurant ! — Cheque was paid to them. — For dried herring? Or Spring- chicken ? VAUX (innocently) They're very nice, there. SAVILE (glancing at picture on easel) I see! — How's the boy doing? VAUX Well enough. SAVILE " Well enough " isn't good enough ! 38 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX He's doing better than most boys do who don't have to do. Tom has talent, and he'd go far, if the going were harder. SAVILE He'll find it harder, before he gets through ! VAUX I hope so ! — I wish you no ill-luck, sirj but great thing for Tom if you'd lose your health or — money. SAVILE Do I look like a man who's going to? VAUX No, no, no ! — Quite the contrary ! SAVILE (with a dig at Vaux's frugal meal) If poverty is such a sure road — for artists, I won- der more of 'em don't get somewhere. God knows they're poor enough! VAUX Not Tom! SAVILE He will be, if he isn't careful ! VAUX Trust your son for that ! SAVILE r ^O '') I don't trust him. — That's why I put him here, with you. I expect you to look after him — VAUX This is a work-shop, Mr. Savile, not a nursery. SAVILE (chuckling at his joke) You'd think it was — a nursery, — from the halls, full of " dolls " and " babies." JUST OFF THE AVENUE 39 VAUX (apologetic) Jake has the usual janitor's family. SAVILE Vaux, I don't expect Tom to be a saint. — I wasn't at his age. VAUX That came later.? SAVILE I know youth will have its fling, and I don't mind his having a good time, down here, so long as he doesn't make a fool of himself — and fall in love. VAUX Can you do one without the other? SAVILE He's done both — and you know it ! VAUX I know he's painting better, — since Miss Brough came to us — if that's in your mind. SAVILE Constantly ! He talks of marrying her. VAUX Yes, he's talked to me. SAVILE Think of it ! VAUX (ruefully) I do 1 — constantly. SAVILE My son and that — shop-girl ! Who would be- lieve it.'* VAUX Any one who knows her. 40 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAViLE (staggered) What! VAUX She's very lovely: lovable: worth any man's love. SAVILE Let him love her as much as he likes — but when it comes to marrying a rat of a girl — VAUX (protesting) Please, Mr. Savile ! SAVILE Yes, just that! A girl any man with a bit of can- vas and a paint-brush can hire to show her naked body — (Points to Tom's canvas) VAUX (fearing) No! not Miss Brough! — Others, yes, plenty of them, sweet and pure as she — lend their graces at the shrine of beauty — and neither take nor give thought of evil. — But Rhoda — if she were starv- ing — Tom will tell you ! — no man should see as much as one may see at any dinner-party or ball- room of your own world ! SAVILE (^" hedging " — alarmed hy Vaux's fervor) I've nothing 'gainst the girl; she's not to blame for what she is. — But — I want Tom to marry his own kind — a girl of position — family — wealth. VAUX Isn't yours enough ? Fifty millions — they say you have. SAVILE (deriding) " Fifty millions ! " — If I have forty, I'm doing well. VAUX And as Tom's wife. Miss Brough will do them credit. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 41 SAVILE Doubtless ! — Born in an alley-tenement, likely — vAux r Yes 'V One of yours. (Points to tenement seen at hack) SAVILE And grew up in the gutter. — You don't get a lily from the muck-heap ! VAUX O, but you do, sometimes ! — That's one of Nature's grim, delightful jokes — proof of God's magic — to grow the lily from the mire, and the rankest weed in your hot-house ! SAVILE I don't want the mire dragged into my home. — You know this girl's origin? VAUX Her mother, I know, had poetry — imagination — a sense of music : she named her child " Rhoda " ! (To himself) Rhoda ! SAVILE After the " rowdy " father, maybe ! — He was a fix- ture 'round here. — One of the parish-workers got me his record — when I found what was going on here — and was serious. — At times he'd have money — lots of it ! — that he'd squander in the wildest ex- travagances — fine clothes — fast horses — best restaurants — gay parties to the shabby neighbors — spoil them with costly food and champagne — VAUX (rather to himself ) " Champagne? " — I see ! SAVILE And keep it up till the last dollar was gone ! — Then, 42 JUST OFF THE AVENUE of course, the usual period of credit — borrowing — and poverty — down-right poverty — so even the parish-workers would hear of it. And when they'd go to offer help Brough would order them out. VAUX If he'd been drinking? — SAVILE Yes ! — If they found him sober — he'd kick them out! VAUX (rather to himself) Good ! — (Savile disconcerted) I mean, if he chose that way to spend what he earned — SAVILE « " Earned " — nothing ! Gambled ! VAUX Wall Street? SAVILE Cards — horses — prize-fights ! — And when he was hard-up no other way to get money — he'd enter the ring himself ! — VAUX H'm? — "Prize-ring" ? SAVILE Yes, and usually win. VAUX (as if suddenly enlightened) Ah, that explains it ! — Now I see ! SAVILE (gratified) I thought so ! VAUX Yes, I see now — where she got her fire, spirit, pride, courage, strength and wits to look out for herself — from the prize-ring man ! — That explains — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 43 SAviLE (interruptmg) And liis reckless extravagance — gambling, fancy raiment, fine food, rare wines, fast horses — that ex- plains something, too ! vAux (assenting) Rhoda's nice sense of luxury — her natural love of beautiful things — her perfect taste in clothes — the few she has — the color, the cut, the hang of them : — the grace of her walk, the turn of her hand, the poise of her head ! — You don't get that sort of thing from beer or ginger-pop ! — It's the cham- pagne in her blood ! That's why she's so different from all the rest ! SAVILE " Different," perhaps — but you know, Vaux, what these girls are — down here 1 — Just what they're made of! VAUX They're as God made them ! — Who knows more than that? SAVII,E You know more of this one. VAUX (dubiously) N-o! SAVILE (impatiently) You see enough of her — every day. VAUX Yes — and you see the sunlight, every day — and sometimes a rainbow — and a violet in the florist's shop — and, at night, a star dancing in the skies ; but you don't know what they're made of! 44 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAVILE I know this — I'll get no help here ! (Makes to go) VAUX Nowhere ! — You're too late, Savile. SAVILE (his good-humor seemkigly restored) Perhaps — but I'm glad to know just what I'm up against. VAUX (jovialli/, and with crescent spirit) Love and youth — that's all you're up against ! — Two young, eager, adoring souls find their mate. — And when that happens, IMr. Savile — we're too old to remember — you and I — but when it's a creature like Rhoda Brough — (Stands at piano, and plays wildly the ** Hungarian Rhapsodie "J SAVILE (stopping him) You know, Vaux, some people think you're — (Taps forehead meaningly ) VAUX (assenting) They say so ! SAVILE But I don't believe you're — looney ! VAUX (hows his gratitude and plays more wildly) SAVILE You're only " moony " — VAUX (rather to himself) "Moony.?" SAVILE You're in love ! — but you don't know it ! VAUX (stops playing) What a blessing ! — Not to know it ! with these ! (Indicates the wrinkles on his temples) (Savile eocits) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 45 VAUX (laughing) In love ! I wish no man worse than that ! — at my age. — In love! (Looks in mirror: at wrinkles of his temples, the lines at mouth- corners, the iron-grey of his hair, etc. Frowns: then stamps his foot, as if taking new resolution) Work ! That's a blessing, too ! (Takes up sculptor's tools) Work ! You duffer ! (Sees the " Dulcinea " costume on dummy) (He drops into a chair. The mallet falls from his hand. He gazes, fixedly, with a sad, wistful smile, on the costume that recalls Rhoda) Work! CURTAIN ACT ONE [scene two] The time is night of the same day. The scene is lighted only hy the briUiant reflector under which Vaux works, and hy a shaded candle on the small table at left. At rise of curtain Vaux is at work on the heroic-size model, in the alcove. Higgins, in his suit -of -armor, at the table left, is arranging Vaux^s evening meal. He pours hot-water into tea-pot. HIGGINS Tea's brewing, Mr. Vaux. (Takes off part of the armor) VAUX (indifferently) Yes. (Continues his work) HIGGINS (after a pause) Dinner is served, Mr. Vaux. (Doffs more of the armor) VATjx (same tone) Yes. HIGGINS (after a pause) Supper's getting cold, sir. (More armor off) VAUX (absorbed in work) Warm it up — warm it up — for breakfast.— Have you dined, Higgins.?^ HIGGINS (gloomily) I had no appetite for dinner. 46 JUST OFF THE AVENUE 47 VAUX Sure it's not the other way about? — Take some! HiGGiNS (lifting dish-cover) Just enough for one, sir. VAUX (at work) I can't eat now. — Go on — go on ! — What's the odds! HIGGINS (absent-minded) Fifty — twenty — I — I — guess my wife's waiting at Pedro's for dinner. — VAUX Don't keep a lady waiting — for dinner. — It's dan- gerous ! — " doggone dangerous " — HIGGINS (winces at the reminder) It's a crime, sir, but Mrs. Higgins is used to it. VAUX You'll find some — dinner — in the rose-jar: a Pedro dinner anyway. (Higgins takes some money from rose-jar) I'll see that Cosie has hers. HIGGINS (as he fills a bucket with oats) It's ready, sir. VAUX You keep the oats up here? HIGGINS Yes, sir. — Below, the Janitor's family eats 'em ! They're vegetarians. (Makes to exit) VAUX Here! (Tosses him his over-coat) HIGGINS (hesitating) But you'll be going out-f^ VAUX r No "; No more to-night. 48 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HiGGiNS (as he puts on coat) Mine's still — up-town — gettin' pressed — VAux (guying him) You shouldn't have it pressed, such weather. — 'Tisn't according to Hoyle: his first rule in poker: " Remember there'll be another game some other night " — and they may run better — at Sheepshead or Saratoga. HIGGINS (shame-faced) I know it's — criminal — but straight from the sta- ble, Mr. Vaux : — inside information. I bet every- thing I had : — even my dinner. VAUX You bet that before you had it — and your wife's dinner, too ! HIGGINS I don't mind that ! But I — I — gave the tip to — a lady — and almost got her to plunge — VAUX (angry) " Plunge," Higgins ? HIGGINS (rather frightened) But she didn't, thank God ! — except four dollars. VAUX (amused) That's hardly — criminal. HIGGINS I know it, now. (insisting) Yes, sir, and I'm going to give her back the four dollars — and say I couldn't place the bet. VAUX I don't think the lady would like that. — But, Hig- gins, no more tips I JUST OFF THE AVENUE 49 HIGGINS Never, sir ! — I swear — never again — unless I'm ahsolwtely sure! (There's a knock at the door) (Higgins opens the door) WATTS (entering) Isn't vour phone in order? VAUX (pleased) Perfect! — It's cut-off: I couldn't stand the buzz. HIGGINS (sotto-voce) (To Watts) Collector's buzz. WATTS I tried to call you from the Lafayette. — I met Gol- doni there — one of your rivals, to-day, before the Aldermen. (A slight troubled pause) VAUX (indifferejitli/) Yes.^ (Goes oii with his work) WATTS I spoke with Schnaubengigl, too. VAUX Yes.^ — Schnauby say anything? WATTS "A damn shame," he says — those aldermen! HIGGINS (to himself) They're a crime! VAUX Didn't he get a prize? WATTS (ernbarrassed) Yes, first prize they gave him. — Goldoni second ! VAUX (staggered for a moment) (Then, with forced smile) Not even " place " for me, eh? (Looks to Higgins) 50 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HIGGINS A crime ! WATTS The}^ gave your Quixote " honorable mention." VAUX Well, as Higgins would put it, I got a " show," any- way. HIGGINS (tearfidly) No, sir ! You never had a show, — with those grafters at City Hall. VAUX (reprovingly) Now ! Now ! You're seeing wind-mills. WATTS (insisting) He's right ! — to keep " Don Quixote " from first prize took the devil's own work ! HIGGINS And he had to be on the job — 'cause Miss Brough's been burning candles for a month. VAUX (perplexed) "Candles?" HIGGINS (nods " yes "j To her name-saint — so you'd win. And she bet on you, too, with Mr. Wills. VAUX (moved) I wish for her sake — I'd — done better work. — But Schnauby's design is hard to beat ! (Takes up glass of cold tea) Here's to him ! — HIGGINS (to Watts) It's criminal! (Sniffles) VAUX (continuing) — And his statue ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 51 WATTS (disgusted) Of Katzenjammer ! VAUX (correcting) Kimmel — Katzenkimmel ! — HIGGIXS A crime — crime ! WATTS " Katzen " — Never heard of him ! VAUX Great man ! in his o\vn country ! WATTS (disgusted) Like the other figure they took? — Vinichianti? VAUX (prompting) Vidivici ? WATTS Never heard of him I VAUX O, Vidivici — he's a — a — WATTS You never heard of him! HIGGINS Me neither ! VAUX But some of the Art-Commission, of the Aldermen, never heard of " Don Quixote " ! WATTS That's what did you ! — Politics ! VAUX f" No "; Wind-mills ! Wind-mills ! WATTS (insisting) Politics ! — I knew it from the start ! — That's why 52 JUST OFF THE AVENUE I brought you Griggs — to fall back on ! — You never had a chance! VAux (incredulous ) Because of politics? HIGGINS Sure, Mr. Vaux ! — What's the Spanish vote in this town 'gainst the millions of Schnaubengigls — or the barber vote — and bananas? VAUX (dismissing the idea) The best man won ! — and I'm glad — for their wives, mothers, sweethearts — families. — Schnau- bengigl has a family? HIGGINS Several ! (Sidles over to rose-jar) WATTS One of 'em's with him now, at the Lafayette. VAUX (sharply, as he catches Higgvns replacing money in rose-jar) What you up to? HIGGINS (sniffling) I can't eat to-night: I'd choke myself. VAUX (touched) But Mrs. Higgins will want to eat. HIGGINS I'd choke her! — She loves you, Mr. Vaux. (Ruhs his eyes) She couldn't eat, after tliis — 'specially no table-d'hote. WATTS No more could I, Higgins. — Try a real dinner. (Shoves a hill in Higgins' pochet) (Higgins exits) VAUX Fine character, that ! — beautiful ! (Hand on JUST OFF THE AVENUE 53 Watts' shoulder) And — with chaps like you — a beautiful world! WATTS Not to ine, unless you'll listen now, to — reason and — sense. VAUX Dollars and cents? WATTS S-e-n-s-e — VAUX That spells " Griggs." WATTS You sure it isn't pride — vanity ? VAUX I'm quite sure it — is! WATTS They're costly luxuries ! VAUX Yes, but I have so few, now-a-days — I cling to them — (Hand on fine chair) - — like to my antiques. — xVnd 3^ou wouldn't have me give them up.^ WATTS Just this once ! — Get into the game ! — Put pride in your snuff -pocket — as I did — along with more money — (Taps his pocket) — than I ever dreamed was in town ! VAUX (regretfidly) The snuff's working! WATTS (assenting) Working for me — from Maine to Cal — etcetera ! People who never heard of Don Quixote nor Bruce Vaux — great as he is ! — to-day know Montressor 54 JUST OFF THE AVENUE Watts ! (Picks up news-paper containing his por- trait) VAUX Already ? WATTS Rich and famous ! VAUX Your friends will rejoice. WATTS (with laugh of bitterness) Yes 1 — I just left a group at the Lafayette. They hadn't seen the papers — O, no ! — but they saw the waiters ! — head-waiters, even ! pester me with atten- tions : whisper some " specialty " — the very fellows — who'd always snort at my order of " small sirloin and French-fried." — To get rid of 'em I had to, — well, you know how you scatter powder, to drive off — things 1 VAUX (laughing) And that's the " game " I should get into? — What could it give me I haven't now? WATTS (lightly) For one thing — the telephone ! VAUX (eyes heavenward) Then, O Lord, keep me poor ! WATTS That's only one of a thousand things that you could have now, — for ease, comfort, luxury : the best of wines — decent food — " purple and fine-linen " — theatres — opera — a car — all the luxuries that even the " mutts " have now-a-days ! — I'm going after them ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 55 vAux (laughing) You think it's worth the powder? — Griggs' punk? (Takes ** Cachucas '* from box) WATTS I'm thinking only of your good ! VAUX As you see it! — But you're drunk — (Watts startled) — with snufF ! It's gone to your head — " The Royal Sneeze " — from your pocket. — It would mine. — We're not used to — " snufF." — It's a drug: makes people insane! WATTS I'll never rest till you're insane — that way. (Un- seen hy Vaux, he drops a roll of bills into the rose- jar) VAUX The day I'm insane " that way " — you'll know I'm crazy — really crazy, so I'll run amuck — (Poises his mallet threateningly) — smash that Quixote into smithereens — and beat my poor, crazy brains out on the wreckage — before Griggs can use him for a sign-post, with a " Cachuca " stuck in his mouth. (Watts takes a " Cachwca " from the box: lights it^ and it flares like a torch; he throws it angrily into the gold-fish aquarium on table, where it continues to burn) (Watts blows on his scorched fingers) WATTS I understand how you feel ! And you're right ! You always are — in such matters. — And you're a bit worse than usual to-night. — But I know, too, what it means to create a master-piece, and then have it stick around, like a sore finger. — Come on, 56 JUST OFF THE AVENUE let's get out of here ! — We'll go over to Pedro's. — No, the Lafayette — while the crowd's there. — And well make a night of it ! VAUX Par example.^ WATTS Well, first off, get boiling drunk: then have dinner and — VAUX (gestures disinclination) WATTS Don't feel like it, eh? VAUX (dubiously) Not like — dinner. — Some other time, Watts — (Makes to proceed with his work) W^ATTS Hang it, I can't eat alone — to-night — dine en- prince — with all this luck ! — You suppose Miss Brough would dine with me.'^ VAUX Delighted ! — Go find her ! — And try to get hold of Tom Savile ! — I'm sure she'd like him along. (Crosses to window) WATTS (with a sour face) (Looks at his watch) I'm sure I wouldn't — find her in now. VAUX (still at window) Yes, yes ! she's at home ! — There's light in her win- dow!- — Be ofF! I must get on the job! (Watts exits) (Vaux, alone, resumes his work) (From the res- taurant near-by is heard a fascvnating Spanish waltz: Vaux unconsciously nods his head vn rhythm with the dance y and hums the tu/ne) (A policema/n*s whistle JUST OFF THE AVENUE 57 sounds in the street: is repeated; then a pistol-shot rings out: a •window-pane, at right, is shattered: also the shade of the lamp under which Vaux stands, and the light extinguished) VAUX (startled, staggered) What the devil — ! (Crosses to broken window, where the curtain blows) (Re-crosses: strikes a match, to examine tlie lamp: exits to room at left where you hear him calling:) '' Jake ! — O, Jake ! — Send up a bulb ! — eleck- trisches ! — and a candle." (Then the rumble of a dumb-waiter: and Jake's voice, with his customary German exclamations ) (A pause) (Rhoda enters, in the darkness — at door left: she is breathless, panicky, distracted: she holds the door slightly ajar — but so that no light from the hall falls on her: — her presence is only felt, not seen. The street-door, below, bangs: there follow heavy foot-steps, and voices: *' She's here — she ran in here,'' etc. — Rhoda shuts the door quickly, but si- lently: turns the key and pushes the bolt — a con- spicuous wooden affair. The voices grow louder — seem approaching: and Rhoda, after a frightened glance about the room, rushes into alcove, and on the way loses a low-shoe — much like a slipper) (Vaux re-enters, with a lighted candle: starts to re- adjust the lamp: the noises in the hall below resume: Vaux listens: hears Jake's voice, with the usual " Donnerwetter," etc. Crosses to door: shows sur- prise on finding it locked and bolted: looks about, bewildered, and sees slipper; picks it up — stUl more perplexed. All the while, the noi^e in the hall-way 58 JUST OFF THE AVENUE continues: doors open and close: murmur of voices saying: "No, no — no one came here,'"' etc.) ( There* s a knock at the door: and the knob tried repeatedly ) (Vau^ takes up lance, then crosses and silently wnholts door: picks up hook — copy of " Don Quixote.'* With lance on shoulder he struts to and fro — rather jauntily — like a knight-errant keeping his " watch-on-arms "; he holds m front of his eyes the copy of " Don Quixote " from which he reads silently; his moving lips and brows, his chang- ing expression of features, shifting from smiles to frowns, show his intense interest. — There's another knock at door: then it opens. Romans, a private- agency officer in " plain-clothes,** and a policeman, in uniform, enter. Vaux takes no notice of them. They stand dumbfounded as Vaux reads aloud, with fire of tone and gesture) VAUX " He leaped from his cot : seized his lance — made to thrust — whereon the spectres vanished : Greed, Cruelty, Injustice, Tyranny! — fled before his glance. — Instead, he saw the Angel of Peace, 'gainst whom he leaned faintly, as he smiled farewell to those about him. — Good-bye, sweet memories ; good-bye, pleasant fancies ; good-bye, merry friends, for I perceive I am dying, in the wish to see you happy in the other life." Those were his last words : Don Quixote's! — Beautiful, don't you think.? (During the above speech the policeman has touched his forehead once or trmce, and winked to Romans) HOMANs (as he takes the book from Vaux*s hand, and tosses it on table) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 59 Very fine — but — when we knocked, just now, the door was locked, — bolted. — Why? Why? VAUX Why not? — Why not bolt doors — draw the bridge that spans the moat — call my men-at-arms — when my castle is attacked? POLICEMAN Well, you see, Mr. Vaux — that's the name on your door — we're after some one who came in here — VAUX Came in here? POLICEMAN Some woman. VAUX (correcting, gently) Lady — if you please — lady ! POLICEMAN (good naturedly ) " Lady," then, if you don't like " woman " — but my daughter's in the High School, and she says " woman's " good grammar. VAUX (assenting) " Good grammar," maybe : but bad manners — 'spe- cially from the Law. (Bows to policeman) And whom did she murder — this lady? — I heard the shot. POLICEMAN Nothing like that : that shot was only a warning. It's a case of " street-walking." VAUX (staggered) That is bad — for a lady : " street-walking " ! She should keep to the side-walk — and lucky then, to escape those brutal chauffeurs. I'm glad you dis- courage street-walking. 60 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HOMANS And soliciting! — Get that? VAux (appears too dazed to notice) POLICEMAN She spoke to this gentleman. VAUX Doubtless mistook him for one — she knew. POMCEJMAN What did she say to you.'' HOMANS Usual thing : " Good-evening, dearie." VAUX (jovially) Greeting of some kindly soul, to cheer your way, this stormy night. I'm often honored so — and, doubt- less, you, too, officer.? POLICEMAN That's right! VAUX 'Tis the custom of our ladies, this part of town. — And, if the dear creature should chance to overlook me, in passing, I make bold to remind her by smile or nod. And she'll respond, always, unless she be some timid fawn, unused to our ways. — You know that, officer. POLICEMAN That's right ! HOMANS But this — lady — grabbed my pin — (Hand on tie) (To policeman) I told you. POLICEMAN That's right ! — (To Vatix) He told me, 'twas a hold-up. — And fired a shot. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 61 VAUX And she ran, of course — like the frightened gazelle of poet's fancy. HOMANS Well, where is this fancy gazabo ? Tell us ! VAUX (absently, as if to himself) " Tell me: where does fancy lie -— in the heart or in the eye?" HOMANS (with threatening gesture) In the eye — if you don't tell us where she is — and quick! — (The policeman intervenes: signals caution, taps his forehead) VAUX (as if dazed) What are you? HOMANS Can't you see what we are? VAUX That? — Yes! (Indicating policeman) The Law — in all its majesty! — But this — (Jabs Romans vigorously ) — wind-mill ! wind-mill ! HOMANS (angrily) Now, for the last time — where have you hid that damned little — ? VAUX (instantly claps his hand over Romans^ mouth, and grips his face so he canH move) POLICEMAN (intervening) For half-a-cent, I'd arrest you ! VAUX (having loosened his hold on Romans) I'd deserve it — for discourtesy to a guest. I'd ask his pardon only — he's such a blackguard ! HOMANS Come along, officer. (Makes to enter alcove) 6a JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX (intervening; with lance at rest) You can't go there. — That's my shrine. HOMANS We're going to search this place, from top to bot- tom. POLICEMAN That's right! VAUX Then you have a search-warrant? HOMANS Yes I (Pretends to take document from breast- pocket) VAUX Show it, please. HOMANS I don't have to show — (Tries to push by) VAUX (puts his hand grippingly on shoulder) Show it ! POLICEMAN That's right ! — You got to show the warrant. HOMANS (disgusted) Since when? VAUX Since the time of King John — and Magna-Charta ! — 1215! (Homans looks to officer for corrobora- tion) POLICEMAN That's right ! — "A man's house is his castle " my daughter says. — We can't go through it, without a writ-of-search. (To Vauw — with deference) Un- less, maybe, this gentleman will forget his legal rights and permit me — to look around — as a guest. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 63 (The curtains of the alcove move, as if blown by an opened window: Vaux notes it) vAux (promptly, with deep bow) My house is yours, Sefior. Hospitality stands not on the letter of the law. (Goes to picture, set in double panel, at right: touches a button, and the panel divides showing the " kitchenette '') The cuisine — butler's-pantry — and wine-cellar. I rec- ommend this sherry — (Holds up bottle of milk) — Amontillado — '73 — a comet year. (Vaux goes up stage to curtains) HOMANs (touching forehead significantly) Up here? POLICEMAN (shakes head *' no '*j Not down here ! They're all like that — my daugh- ter says — this part of town — VAUX (drawing open curtains of alcove) The work-room ! — (The deep alcove is in darkness save for the moonlight that falls through the sky- light and illumines the equestrian statue. The French windows at back of alcove — or at a diag- onal, if the construction of the scene permits — is opened: beyond is seen the rear of a dilapidated tene- ment house) HOMANS (with suspicion) That window's open — (Goes to window) VAUX (assenting) For Cosie. HOMANS "Cosie?" VAUX My favorite model ! — Her shed is below — and we 64 JUST OFF THE AVENUE send down her meals on a rope — (Indicates a bucket f with rope attached to handle) (Then crosses to left) HOMANs (comes domn from window, holding Rhoda*s hut — the Tam-o'-shanter — behind his back: shows it to 'policeman, unseen by Vauw) VAUX (touches button, at left: the mirror slides from its frame, disclosing a bed-room) The bed-chamber! — (To policeman) You'll sleep well, Senor, when you've dined — (Shows din- ner on table) — by this fire of cedar logs. (Places big chair before -fire-place) (He looks about uncer- tainly, till he finds his umbrella: then seizes Rhoda^s hat from Romans, puts it on, quite as if it were his own regular head-wear, and makes to go) HOMANS Where you off to ? VAUX To look for bail — (Rubs his forehead, in troubled thought) — somewhere — to provide for her instant release — somehow — in case you find this unhappy lady (distracted) I must find bail — somewhere — HOMANS (barring his exit) Cash bail — or — what ? VAUX (jumping at the suggestion) Watts, of course! (Jabs Homans) Watts, thank you ! — Watts ! (Exits) poiLTCEMAN (toucMng forehead) That's right ! HOMANS (disgusted) He's not too crazy to put one over on us. — He was JUST OFF THE AVENUE 65 stalling, for her get-away. (Nods toward window) (Angrily) Go after him ! — Run him in ! POLICEMAN (begins to eat Vaiix^s dinner) Go slow! — I just got out of the Bronx — through a shake-up in this precinct. — Over same sort o' case, too. — It was meat-and-drink for the Societies — and pie for the Sob-Sisters. — And the Commissioner backed 'em up ! — (Begins eating a large chop) — • This fellow's hoppy all right — but he's no hick. And some of these gu3's 'round here have friends — where you'd least expect it ! — There's big swells from Fifth Avenue have rooms down here ! HOMANS ( sneeringly ) What for.? POLICEMAN To work — my daughter says. — Some of 'em have good nuts — (Taps head) — and want to use 'em. They can't work up there, in the lobster district — account the " atmosphere." HOMANS They won't stand for the " Hello dearie's ! " POLICEMAN They won't cry " bloody murder ! " and fire guns ! — You'd think you was some bloomin' cereal — like my girl tells about; night-bloomin'-cereal : speak to 'em rough and they close-up — and die for another century. (Suspiciously) What's in this, anyway.? HOMANS Something in it for you, if you get this " skirt." POLICEMAN That's easy ! — They probably got her now — after 66 JUST OFF THE AVENUE that shot. — And if they didn't, I'll pick her up to- morrow. HOMANS That right? POLICEMAN Sure ! — Just go to night-court — swear out a war- rant — I'll serve it to-morrow. HOMANS Early? POLICEMAN I don't know how early. — I got to go to Confession, in the morning, and that may take some time. — You just get the warrant — I'll 'tend to the rest. HOMANS (pretending ignorance) What name? POLICEMAN " Jane Doe." — If the Judge is fussy — you know they don't like you out-side sleuths — tell him to hold the warrant till I come for it. He knows me. HOMANS I'll make the charge " soliciting " — POLICEMAN That's right — HO'MANs (continuing) — and attempt to rob. POLICEMAN No! HOMANS Why not ? — There's the evidence ! (Shows a diamond-cluster pin) POLICEMAN (turns pin about admiringly/) Real stuff? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 67 HOMAXS Hocks for a hundred. POLICEMAN That'd make it grand-larceny — and five years. HOMAXs (assenting, •with meaning) Unless she skips out, after we get the warrant. POLICEMAN You're sure she tried to pinch this.^^ HOMANS I had it when she tackled me, and — (Puts the pin in the oncers coat-pocket) I haven't got it now, have I? POLICEMAN That's right ; you haven't got it now. — But that's some ring you have there — (Admires it) Three sparks ! HOMANS Goes with pin. POLICEMAN I'll bet 3^ou have suspender-buttons to match — like that fellow on Broadway. HOMANS Not quite so bad — but — I work for " big " people. POLICEMAN And you don't work for nothing — eh.'' HOMANS Do yon? — You know you can't live for notliing now-a-days. POLICEMAN That's right! HOMANS 'Specially when you have a girl at college, — 68 JUST OFF THE AVENUE POLICEMAN What they spend on fudge used to keep a family! HOMANs (indicating ring) This would keep a college in fudge. POLICEMAN That's right. (Adjusting pin, in mirror) The ring does go with this ! HOMANS Yes — and that goes ! POLICEMAN (looking at pin, dubiously) Opal, isn't it? HOMANS (assenting) From Tiffany's. POLICEMAN (makes to hand it back) My daughter says they're unlucky — opals. HOMANS Not with diamonds all around ! — They take the curse off. POLICEMAN Maybe that's right. — Anyway, I'll take a chance. (Pockets the pin) VAUx (re-entering) Well, gentlemen.^ HOMANS " Well " nothing ! She's got away — your " lady "— VAUX I congratulate you. HOMANS (surly) Thanks ! VAUX (disregarding him — turns to officer) This gentleman — who spoke of his daughter. — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 69 I'm sure he can't enjoy the work cut out for him — POLICEMAN We have our orders, boss — and, you know, if there's been a mistake, about a girl, the Judge lets her go — and no harm done. VAUX " No harm done "? HOMANS If there's nothing on the girl, no ! VAUX The mark of the Law — is on her ! — your finger- prints of suspicion and slander ! — And the cleaner her life, the viler they show. — You call it nothing to drag a fair name into the mud of the night-courts — or even touch it with the breath of suspicion ? Why, sir, once the Law lifts the veil of Innocence — and the harm is done. — Thereafter, '* though she be chaste as ice, pure as snow, yet will she not escape calumny!" — Doesn't Hamlet observe to Ophelia.? POLICEMAN That's right! VAUX I thank you. — (Ofering book to officer) Will you honor me? POLICEMAN (declining) 'Gainst the rules, boss, to take things. VAUX (insisting) A trifle — my favorite copy of — (Twinkling) — " Dan O'Qui-ty " ! — You've read it, doubtless, but read it again — and again — until you have it by heart. Make it your companion — this story of " The Perfect Policeman." It's a school of man- 70 JUST OFF THE AVENUE ners, a code of true courtesy, a guide to right and honor. — It is one of the three books the world could least afford to lose. Read it — and re-read it — until it becomes a very part of yourself; and then you'll come pretty near being as fine a gentleman as a man can who — who — well, who must chase gentle womanhood through the streets. — (To Homans) And you, sir — (Gives Jiim a cigar) HOMANs (declining) I don't use tobacco. VAUX (thrusting cigar on him) Then you'll enjoy the Cachuca ! (Ofjficer and Homans exeunt: Vaux listens at door to their retreat- ing steps) RHODA (motionless on horse, in suit-of -armor) Have they gone.^^ VAUX Dear lady ! RHODA (dismounts: comes down the platform steps, tak- ing off the armor) Please, forgive me ! VAUX (zcith gesture of silence) Wait ! — They may be — (Nods toward hall) (Listens till the street-door hangs) No, they've gone! RHODA What a fool — to lose my head like that ! — (Apolo- getic) — And to run in here ! VAUX Where else? RHODA (she is utterly wrought-up: unnerved: panicky: almost breathless ) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 71 You don't mind? — But — that girl in our shop — my room-mate — (touches the mourning-hand on her sleeve) — sweet, decent girl — just like this — it was : man spoke to her on the street ; she ran, but they caught her and took her to court. When the Judge heard the story, he said it was a wicked shame: made the officer own-up it was a mistake. The papers took it up — the Societies, too — had the officer dismissed ; — the girl was cleared of the tiniest suspicion ; — but she couldn't get over it. — She was going to marry — nice fellow — he worried about it — questioned her, over and over — till, one day — she — (Breaks clow-n) VAUX I know ! — Killed herself — It's for her you wear — ? (Indicates mourning-hand on her sleeire) EHODA (nodding " yes '*) All the girls — in the shop. — She was the dearest thing ! — It all came back — moment that man spoke to me — and I saw who it was. VAUX You've seen him before.^ EHODA (promptly) Yes ! — Last night, and once before, I remember, he stood at the corner — and tipped his hat. He's been in the shop, too — at my counter — and tried to make conversation. — I wouldn't wait on him — and he asked the other girls about me. — Just now — I'd gone out to get my supper — (Indicates paper-hag of stuff) — and suddenl}^ he was along- side of me. 72 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX Spoke to you? EHODA (nodding " yes *') " Hello, dearie ! " — and " could he carry that for me? " — I pretended not to notice, and walked faster — that usually stops them. But he kept right after — talking — and tried to put his arm through mine. — VAUX (rather to himself) The dog! RHODA When I drew 'way, he grabbed my hand — VAUX The beast ! RHODA I cried : " let go," and he said " not till I spoke to him " — and he began to drag me along, all the time pressing my hand tighter and tighter — VAUX (louder) The brute! RHODA I screamed with pain — and then he crushed and bent my hand, till I gasped — couldn't — breathe — VAUX (explosive) The monster ! (Takes her hand) Your bare hands, too! RHODA No, I had on gloves — (Shows them) Perfectly good gloves, too ! (Throws them into the fire-place) That I wouldn't even give away after that — (Shud- ders) Only for the gloves, he'd have — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 73 VAUX The pig! RHODA I did faint — almost. — That seemed to frighten him! — He loosened his hold a bit, and said: " Come 'cross the way — I'll get you a drink." When I didn't move, he began again — worse — (Holds out her hand clinched tightly) VAUX Swine ! EHODA Till I said : " All right — let go and I'll "— then I reached up and — it wasn't lady-like — but I slapped his face — VAUX Good ! — RHODA — With all my might — VAUX — Good ! — RHODA — And ran ! — He close behind — shouting — curs- ing — and almost had me — till he slipped and fell. — Then some one rushed over — and I heard a shot — and hadn't sense enough to stop and explain. VAUX I don't wonder ! — You should have told us, at once, about this man trying to — force his acquaint- ance — RHODA (laughing it off) Now wouldn't that be funny ? — Make a fuss 'cause some fool tries to flirt. — Like what you see in the 74 JUST OFF THE AVENUE movies when the masher tips his hat, and they throw on the screen : " How dare you, Sir ! she said " — And the next flicker shows them in a restaurant ! — (Prepares to go) A girl can look out for herself — if she's used to it. VAux (looking out of window) But you can't go out in this storm — (The windows rattle) RHODA Is it snowing again? (Makes to go to window) VAUX (intervening, to keep her from window) No, but blowing a gale — take you off your feet. RHODA O, I'll get home safe enough. (Makes to go) VAUX No ! Wait ! I'll watch for a taxi — RHODA (laughing) To take me 'cross the Square? — a taxi? — They wouldn't let me in, at Varrick Court ! VAUX (barring her exit) You can't leave here — now — in this storm. RHODA 'Tisn't the storm you fear. — What is it? — That man! (Tries to go to window) VAUX (preventing her) Keep from that draughty window — You'll catch cold. RHODA You're 'fraid they'll see me? — They're still about? (At window) Yes! In the door-way — 'cross the street — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 76 VAUX They've stopped to chat. — They'll go presently. RHODA They can go to the devil! I won't wait! VAUX Yes! RHODA Why? What can they do? (She reaches for her jacket) VAUX Nothing, of course, nothing! They realize their mistake — (Helps her on with her coat) But — your jacket is wet. RHODA (assenting ) From the snow. VAUX But — your big coat you should wear ! RHODA (with gesture " no "J H'm — h'm — the snow'd spoil it. VAUX And your boots wet, too? (Rhoda extends a low- shoed foot) Slippers — in such weather ! The Lord makes ladies his special care — like sparrows — or they'd all die of pneumonia. — Sit by the fire — a moment — and dry them — and eat your sup- per — and then, perhaps, you'll accept my escort to your door. (A pause during which Vaux pretends to work on the statue) (Rhoda is occupied with her supper of sandwiches, pickles, eclairs) RHODA Mr. Vaux — will you lend me a shoe ? (Extends her shoeless foot) I lost one of mine. 76 JUST OFF THE AVENUE vAux (pretending ignorance ) Lost it? — Where? RHODA In the snow likely — as I ran. VAUX We'll have to find another 'fore you can go. (Dur- ing the ensuing dialogue, Vaux makes a pretence of working on the statue, but he is, obviously, preoccu- pied with the danger of Rhoda; as he moves back and forth, as if to vision the statue at various angles, lie glances furtively out the window, taking care that Rhoda shall not see his uneasiness ) (Church-chimes strike the hour) RHODA (rising) It's getting late, Mr. Vaux — and I'm keeping you from work. VAUX No, no, — I'll work all the better for you being here — with me. It's always so, somehow. — You put me in the spirit — of the job — just as Cosie does — and Higgins doesn't — sometimes. — You make me think of Spain. — Perhaps it's the dark eyes, eh? RHODA Must be Cosie's. — Mine are light-blue. VAUX Then it's your coal-black hair. RHODA That happens to be red. VAUX Quite usual in Spain — I've seen it often. — Just that tint — in Seville. — They call it — (Uncertain) — let me see — what do they call that shade of red? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 77 BHODA (prompting him) Rufo? VAUX Yes, of course! — I s'pose Tom told jou, eh? RHODA No — that Spanish girl — Mercedes — who plays at Pedro's restaurant. She learns me her language. — VAUX (chafpnffly) She " learns " vou, eh? RHODA (laughing at the correction) Yes, and I teach her mine, — teacher ! And I have a book, too — " Spanish Taught in Spare Seconds." — I've read some of " Don Quixote " in Spanish. (Takes up guitar, and strums very softly) VAUX Good! When you marry you can go to Spain on your honey-moon. RHODA Yes, I've decided that. VAUX And, he agrees, of course? RHODA I think he will. VAUX Yes, a year or so in Spain and — Tom will paint I Rhoda (She turns sharply at mention of " Tom^* hut does not ansTver) Vaux Have you told him your — plans ? Rhoda (dubiously) Tom? No! Not all — 78 JUST OFF THE AVENUE Vaux I'll tell him just where to go — the very inn. — I'm sure it's still there. — They don't tear down in that country. — And I told them I'd be back some day — Rhoda On yowr honey-moon .^ VAUX (laughing assent) Yes, I s'pose I told them that — I was j^oung — and — in — Spain, somehow — you're always thinking of — honey-moons — Rhoda Yes ! — Miss Gray says you can make love better in Spanish than any other language. Vaux Has she been there.? Rhoda I guess so : she's a singer. — Rooms next to me, at Varrick Court. (Vatux notes the time — a spirited Spanish waltz — that Rhoda is playing on the gui-' tar) Vaux What's that you're playing.? Rhoda I don't know : hasn't any name. Vaux Where d'you hear it.? Rhoda In Spain ! — One night, at an inn, I was dining — and in the court-yard below there was a dance — to this tune. Wonderful ladies, dressed like Dulcinea — and gentlemen that looked like Don JUST OFF THE AVENUE 79 Quixote — and jou, Mr. Vaux. I've never forgotten it. Vaux (amazed) When on earth were you in Spain, child? Rhoda Often! — Whenever I get that — (Indicates the dress and mantilla on the dummy) — next my bones — and sit here, while you work — and you tell me he's — (Indicates Quixote) — so " dotty " about me — I just haire to plunk this tune. (Her playing gradually softens into silence) (The clock-chimes strike the hour) (The windows rattle: Vaux goes to window: looks out cautiously ) Vaux H'm — Getting worse, the snow ! — You couldn't get through — Miss Brough — (She doesn't an- swer) Rhoda! (Vaux crosses, on tiptoe, and sees that she's fallen asleep: takes guitar, carefully, from her hand: puts a robe over her knees: dims the lights, except one under z&hich he sits to read: rises, _ after a second or two, and listens at the door: then peers out the window. — Takes a sudden resolve — puts on storm-coat and hat: makes to go, hut turns and crosses to desk; sits down and writes a line or two, quickly) (While he is writing, Homans is seen, for an instant, peering stealthily through ths French window, at hack. Vaux, vaguely uneasy, pauses in his writing, as if to listen. Then, reas- sured, continues: takes a key from his key-chain and is putting it in envelope, zcith the note, as the curtain falls) curtain ACT TWO The scene is Rlioda's room in the mansard of *' Var- rick Court " — a shabby, old mansion tenanted by ar- tists, writers, musicians, etc. The room, of fair size, shows at a glance that it is the habitat of a person of artistic taste and ingenuity: an exaviple of what may be accomplished by such quali- ties working with the most inexpensive materials. The color-scheme may be whichever best fits the actress playing Rhoda: but there is nowhere a discordant note. On the walls are some unframed paintings — " studies,^* etc., such as a model might receive as gifts, or, in lieu of money, from artists for whom she poses. Con- spicuous, is the large photograph of a ** showy^' -look- ing man, wearing a fur-coat: and a soft-toned litho- graph of the same man in prize-ring costume. The furniture includes a writing desk: book-shelves on the walls: a dressing-table, zvith shaded candles, etc. The tiny bed stands in an alcove, in which there is a window, zcith a glimpse of the sky and stars. There is a fire-place with mantel at left: above the fire- place a window: below, a door leads to adjoining rooms — Marian Gray'^s. A door at back opens to the hall of the building. At rise of curtain Savile, Tom's father, hat and over- coat on, is walking about, examining the room — the furniture, pictures, etc. Tom, seated right, is glanc- 80 JUST OFF THE AVENUE 81 ing through a folio of four or five type-written pages, of the usual " legal *' size. From the adjoining room is heard, at intervals, a good voice running the musical scale. SAviLE (admiring various " studies,''^ *' sketches,''' etc., and reading the superscriptions ) " To my model of models — from Paul Helleu" — " Self-portrait of Quixote, to Dulcinea " — Vaux, of course? TOM (without looking up from his reading) That was his first " study " — for the statue. Savile Quite a mark of devotion! — (Before another draw- ing) " Rhoda, in her new pagoda — GifFord Beale " — Some of these pictures I wouldn't mind having on mi/ walls. Tom Pose for the artists, and you can get them — just as Rhoda does — in lieu of cash. SAViLE (As he looks about suspiciously) Rather smart quarters for the " poor, working girl " ! TOM (without looking-up from the pages) Just because you're poor, you don't have to have your rooms disfigured by Fifth Avenue decorators. SAVILE (surveying the dainty dressing-table) This dressing-table, I should say, came from one of them. TOM Possibly — from his back-yard. (Rises, and lifts the covering of table to disclose a pine packing-box ) SAVILE (indicating canopied bed vn curtained alcove) That four-poster, I s'pose, is an heir-loom? JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM (laughing) It will be before the instalments are all paid. — I know what's in your mind, dad, — if you believe this stuff! (Holds up the " report "j SAVILE You don't believe it? TOM Not a word! SAVILE Indeed ? TOM Not one damn word of it! SAVILE Your language ! TOM Doesn't fit the case! You'll say so yourself, the moment you see this girl, and speak with her. SAVILE I'm quite willing to be convinced. That's what I'm here for. — And I expect you to be equally reason- able — or I'm done with you ! TOM (geniallt/) Don't talk like that, please ! — Come, be the regu- lar dad you were, 'till this thing came up. — Now you're the regulation irate parent in a melodrama. — Who is this, anyway — who makes this report ? SAVILE Reliable man — often employed by our organized charities. TOM Oh ! — One of those fifty-fifty boys ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAVILE What's that: " fifty-fiftj "? TOM Well, 3^ou know, dad, of every two dollars given for " organized charity," fifty cents goes to charity, and one-dollar fifty to " organization." — Your man's the dollar-fifty end. SAVILE Not this one ! They pay him — well — from a spe- cial fund — for confidential work. TOM Not a detective, dad? (Savile doesnt answer) He hasn't been — "' trailing " — Rhoda? SAVILE Certainly not ! TOM (unconvinced) 'Cause if it were anything like that — and becomes known, I am done for ! — I couldn't live down here. SAVILE Are they all crazy as Vaux? TOM (nods '* yes "J Wlien it comes to a girl like Rhoda Brough — most all of them ! — Of course, some " rotter " shows up, now and then, who thinks any girl's fair game; but he soon gets lonely — and moves on. — Tear this up ! (Starts to tear the " report,'' but Savile seizes it from him) Drop the whole miserable business. — I wouldn't dare show that to Rhoda ! SAVILE What are you 'fraid of? — You want this to go un- denied? — That wouldn't be fair to the girl. 84 JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM No ! — But why does he bring this stuff to you? How'd he know yowWe interested — in Rhoda ? SAviLE (indiferently) O, these men find out everything: that's their busi- ness — to get at the truth ! TOM No more chance of this being true of Rhoda than of your own daughter. SAVILE (angrily) I don't like the comparison — with this man's — (Indicates picture of prize-fighter) — daughter. (A voice in adjoining room calls) "Rhoda! Rhoda! ! " (Trilling the name through the musical scale) (The door opens: Marian Gray appears in door-way) (Marian is a few years older than Rhoda: about twenty-two or twenty-three years old. She is rather tall: hair and eyes dark — the latter brilliant. The pink of pomegranate shows through her dark skin: her mouth — a cupid*s-bow — is in- viting; altogether, a sparkling beauty, with features of so-styled " aristocratic " mould. Her manner and bearing are in accord with her appearance; her voice, low and soft: her utterance clean-cut, well- bred; so that a *' cuss-word " — a " hell '* or " damn " — from her lips is like a bolt -from- the -blue. All the more so, since she seems quite innocent of any intent to shock or offend) (She wears an evening gown; the waist of which is not completely hooked- up, and she holds it together at back) MARIAN (she speaks very low, almost a whisper. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 85 throughout the scenCy until otherwise indicated in the directions) Hook me up, dear! — (At sight of others) I beg jour pardon — I thought Miss Brough was in. SAVILE We're waiting for Miss Brough. — MARIAN But that door was locked. How'd you get in? SAVILE The landlady let us in. MARIAN Well, that lets you out! (Nods to door, as if to dismiss them) Please wait below, till Miss Brough returns. She said to admit no one. TOM I'm sure she wouldn't mind us. MARIAN But 7 do ! — 'Cause I promised no one should get in. No one ! — No one ! ! — No one ! ! ! — So won't you please leave ! — before I ask you to go ! SAVILE ( out-of -patience ) My dear young woman, I own this building — and I ma}'- enter any room I please, any hour of the day or night. MARIAN Well, don't you please enter my room, any hour of the day or night ! SAVILE I have the right. Miss, under the law. MARIAN (laughing) O, the devil take your law ! — JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAViLE (horrified) What! MARIAN (seriously ) Yes ! — And your law it is, I'm sure : made for you and hy you — and unmade when it suits your pur- pose. — Or you wouldn't be stopping in strange rooms when you're politely requested to leave. SAVILE But, see here — MAE IAN (with stamp of foot) You 7nust go ! — And don't make me talk out — 'cause I must sing to-night — SAVILE Yes, but we — MARIAN (interrupting, in loud tone) Now, won't you please get the hell out of here ! TOM (enlightened hy the cuss-word, which is uttered quite simply and amiably) O, this is Miss Gray, isn't it? MAKIAN Yes ! TOM (to Savile) Close friend of Miss Brough. MARIAN Next-door-neighbor ! SAVILE Congenial, evidently. TOM I guess you don't know who I am. MARIAN O, yes ! You're the chap wants to marry her. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 87 SAVILE Oh! She speaks about it? MARIAN No! — She speaks of it: Mr. Watts speaks about it. TOM It's no secret, that I hope to marry Miss Brough. MARIAN Well, that's the last man a girl wants snooping around her rooms, without warning. (Closes and locks Rhoda's writing-desk ) SAVILE (sitting down) I'm sorry you think us presumptuous — MARIAN " Presumptuous " ! No indeed ! Just nerv^y ! — You've no right here. — They had no business to let you in — while Miss Brough is away. — TOM (to Sainle) She's right. Come along! (Puts hand on Savile's shoulder urgingly : Savile turns away impatiently) MARIAN (stamps her -foot, in rage) At once — you go ! — or I'll call the — (Opens door and confronts Homans) HOMANs (entering) Thank you ! — (To the others) I was to meet a Mr. — (Looks at card, as if uncertain) — Savile — here. SAVILE I'm Mr. Savile : — (Indicating Tom) — my son. HOMANS Homans' my name. — (Glances at Marian) — But this isn't the girl. 88 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAVILE Friend of hers — next room. HOMANs (looking Marian over) H'm! — Model, I s'pose? TOM (sharply) Miss Gray sings. HOMANS Chorus or cabaret? MARIAN (rather bewildered and frightened by Romans' impudence) Church-choir, mainly. HOMANS (laughingy and with some admiration) Well, that's a new one ! — church-choir ! — I meet all kinds of Lu-lus, but you're the first — hallelu j ah ! MARIAN (in a fury) Why, you d-d-despicable — ! HOMANS (unmoved) Run along, Maisie — TOM (urging) Please, Miss Gray — s A VILE (mth gesture of dismissal) Yes, we've business here. MARIAN No, you haven^t any business here ! — (To Tom) I've only heard about you; but I've never liked you. — For no reason that I could see — (Glares at Savile) — till now! (Makes to go, but turns to take Rhoda*s fur-coaty from behind wall-curtain. Exits to her room, whence she is heard, immediately, sing- ing the scale) (An auto-horn signals, in answer, in the street below) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 89 HOMANs (still amused) " Church-choir " ! — With her own limousine (Indi- cating the auto-horn) — at the door. — Isn't that enough ? TOM (laughing) Scarcely. SAviLE (rather to Tom) Birds of a feather! HOMANS (taking-in the attractive room) Fine feathers, 'specially. — But they don't usually flock so high up. Street-floor's handier : — 'spe- cially, just off* the Avenue. SAVILE Mr. — Holmes — ? HOMANs (correcting) Homans ! SAVILE The young man doesn't believe this. — (Taps report) HOMANS They never do ! — The old ones, neither. And we never give arguments: just facts. TOM I'd want more than your word — that they're facts. HOMANS There's the man who saw the whole aff*air. SAVILE Could you get him now? HOMANS (dubiously, as he looks at his watch) He'll be on beat, soon. TOM Policeman ? (To SavUe) You'd not bring him — before Rhoda.^ 90 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAVILE You insist on proof! HOMANS He has the warrant. TOM (looks to Savile horrified) "Warrant"? Good God! — is that what we are here for? HOMANS ( appeasingly ) A warrant's nothing, till it's served. — He's had it some days, but I got him to hold off, in case the girl wanted to leave town. SAVILE Very decent! HOMANS (airtly) We always give 'em a chance to get away^ — and start over — somewhere they ain't known. (With a wink) TOM Miss Brough " aint known " here ! HOMANS No ; hers is the quiet game. Took slick work " trail- ing " her. TOM (after a sharp glance at Savile) Then you have been " trailing " her? HOMANS (warned hy frown from Savile) Not her 'specially : all of 'em, 'round here. SAVILE (suggesting) Church work? HOMANS (confidentially) And real-estate — 'tween us gentlemen. — They're toning-up this section — just off the Avenue. — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 91 They've drove out the " sweaters " : now it's the " skirts." SAVILE The—? HOMANs (mdicating the *' report "j The " hello-dearies." (Vaux appears at door, left, in season to hear) SAVILE (disconcerted) What brings you, Vaux? VAUX Miss Gray's car, brought me. — But if I'm intrud- ing— SAVILE (troubled) Well — yes — we would prefer — (Gestures dis- missal) HOiAIANS No, no, let him stay ; — he's in this. TOM Rather! (Hands Vaux the report) VAUX (reading) " Report on one Jane Doe: in Confidence " — I've no right to the lady's confidence. (Makes to put down the report) HOMANS There's nothing there you don't know — 'bout that " lady." TOM It's Rhoda. VAUX Rhoda — "Jane Doe"? HOMANS That's in case her real name isn't Rhoda Brough. 92 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAViLE (nodding approval) And if the charge is dropped there's nothing on rec- ord 'gainst her. vAux (looks from one to another, as if dazed, bewil- dered, helpless) Miss Brough hasn't seen this? (Glances at it) SAVILE No! that's what we're here for: to give her a chance to disprove his — (Indicates Romans) — facts. VAUX His — facts ? (Loses all concern in the docwment ) SAVILE (insisting) (To Romans) What you'd tell in Court? VAUX (shows renewed interest vn the report) HOMANS (nods " yes ") Under oath! VAUX (Promptly throws the document aside: wipes his hands on 'kerchief) HOMANS (to Savile) One born every minute! (To Vaux and Tom) Take it from a friend — you're a couple of monkeys ! There's some excuse for the boy, but you ought to got wise long ago — just from her 'sociates — (Vaux and Tom exchange amused glances) — com- pany she keeps. — I've seen her time and again with a regular — well, a cross 'tween hobo and pugilist. VAUX Higgins ! HOMANS That's the man: you know him? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 93 VAUX We all know Higgins. — He poses. HO MANS Mostly in pool-rooms. VAUX Not bad exercise, pool. — I myself play " Kelly." HOMANS " Ponies " he pla^^s — ^vith every dollar he gets his hands on. — And plays 'em for her, too. VAUX (assenting) When he's absolutely sure. SAVILE (as if gratified) That accounts for the costly coat, you speak of. (Indicates the report) HOMANS Some coat, for a girl in her position ! — Where'd she get it.? VAUX (with increasing temper) At the furrier's ! — Bought it 1 — Bought it ! ! SAVILE (placating) Out of what she earns at the shop? HOMANS Or picks-up — in studios .? Coat worth two or three hundreds! Bought it, eh.'^ TOM (tensely) How else.'' SAVILE (to Tom) You ask her. VAUX (to Tom) Hardly! HOMANS I'll ask — how she got a coat — worth hundreds — 94 JUST OFF THE AVENUE (A latch-key is heard, at door back) — I'll ask her — right before you — VAUX You will not ! — in my presence — question a lady about her wearing apparel ! — (Rhoda appears in door-way: utters cry of surprise, starts to withdraw, hut catching sight of Vaux, enters) TOM You mustn't stay here, Rhoda. sAviLE (with some temper) Why not ? — This was your own plan. TOM Yes, but I didn't " plan " Homans to be here. SAVILE I wanted all this in my office. — Sent her word to come there. VAUX I told her not to. TOM (to Rhoda) Go in to Miss Gray. Please. RHODA (seems not to notice) TOM (to Vaux) Tell her to go. RHODA (to Vaux) Don't ! — This is my corner — till they count ten. HOMANS To begin with, let her glance over this — (Offers her the report) VAUX (quickly) No possible interest to Miss Brough. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 95 SAVILE What ! — This proof of the charge he's made against — VAux (jumping in) " Jane Doe " — 'gainst " Jane Doe " ! Doesn't con- cern Miss Brough. HOMAXs (to Savile, and making to go) We're just wasting time — SAVILE Vaux, I came here in the kindliest spirit toward this unfortunate girl. I mean to help her — for Tom's sake — and yours. And Mr. Homans, I'm sure, feels the same. HOMAXS Certainly ; that's why we haven't pushed the case. SAVILE He has shielded your little friend, up to now. But for him the — arrest — would have been made days ago. He's managed to have it held-ofF — so that she might leave town. VAUX That means leaving her employment. HOMAXS She'll find — " employment " — elsewhere. SAVILE And 'til she does, we'll provide for her. — The ex- pense of her journey, we'll provide that, too, — wherever she chooses to go. — The far West — Cali- fornia's pleasant at this season. RHODA I don't know any one there. 96 JUST OFF THE AVENUE HOMANS Oh, you'll soon " pick-up " friends — anywhere. S A VILE Go to Europe, if you like — RHODA My acquaintance in Europe is even smaller. SAViLE (impatient) Well, then, anywhere you choose. — I don't care where it is — just so you leave town. You can't stay here. RIIODA You've decided that? S A VILE Only in your interest, Miss Brough. — Tom realizes that. And Mr. Vaux ought to — even better. — He knows how matters stand. VAUX (assenting) I begin to. SAVILE The danger of scandal — disgrace — in these cases. VAUX Yes! SAVILE Even where the accused is perfectly innocent, — and can prove it — there'll always be doubters and sceptics, to hint and question. — You know what mere gossip can do. RHODA It killed that girl ! (Hands Savile a framed photo- graph) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 97 SAVILE Why take the risk ? — Go away, quietly — for a time, at least — and no one need ever know of this. — (Indicates the " report "j — And you'd best start to-night. — Mr. Homans will arrange that you get away, safely. He'll see 3^ou to your train. TOM She'd see him to hell first! SAVILE That's your advice. TOM Yes! HOMANS She's too wise to take it. RHODA I shall do just what I — I — what Mr. Vaux says I should do! Go or stay? SAVILE (to Vaux) It shouldn't take long to decide that! VAUX (assenting) No ! — Miss Brough stays ! HOMANs (to SavUe) That lets you out, Mr. Savile. You've done all you could for 'em. SAVILE (to Tom) Now, it's up to the Law. RHODA I've nothing to fear — from the Law ! SAVILE (paternally) Have you ever seen the play called " Justice " — that shows how the wheels of the Law, once put in motion — grind on, blindly, relentlessly ? Nothing can stop 98 JUST OFF THE AVENUE them — once they're set going. — And very often they grind out strange and unsuspected secrets — so that even the innocent takes on the appearance of guilt. RHODA (calmly) I've no fear, Mr. Savile. HOMANS They all sing that song, first off. — She'll change her tune, when she's read that. (Holds up the report) TQM You know what this man says, Rhoda? That you flirted with him — smiled and spoke to him — on the street. — Of course, you didn't ! — RHODA (doesn't answer: seems not to hear) TOM He lies, doesn't he? SAVILE (protesting) Now, Tom, that isn't fair — to Mr. — Bowman. — It's possible, — of course, he was mistaken — HOMANS No mistake about it! VAux (to Savile) I hoped there was ! TOM No mistake, of course ! — Just a plain, deliberate lie!— ("To Rhoda) Tell him so! — And that will end it ! RHODA (doesnH answer) SAVILE Have you nothing to say. Miss Brough.'^ RHODA (looks straight through him) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 99 TOM (to VauxJ Make her answer. SAVILE Isn't that answer enough? — her silence! TOM No! SAVILE You want her — before us all — to admit the truth? TOM Is it the truth, Rhoda? — Just one word — "No"; that's all I want ! RHODA (makes no answer) SAVILE You see? — If she won't deny what — Cummins — says — let her explain how the mistake happened. — She'll have to, in Court ! She can't keep silent there — or they zvUl believe — TOM Whatever they like ! — It's what I'm to believe, Rhoda. RHODA Whatever you like ! SAVILE (triumphant) Does that convince you? — Come along! (Makes to go) TOM No! HOMANS Ask her about the pin I wore that night — (Laugh- ing) — and haven't worn since. Maybe she'll answer that. 100 JUST OFF THE AVENUE TOM You will, Rhoda? You must! VAUx (horrified) Why, Tom Savile — ! RHODA (protesting) Please, Mr. Vaux — he's asking me! TOM Let him answer, if you won't ! HOMANS Let Mr. Vaux explain. — Yes ! — At least, why she kept away from here, that night. SAVILE (pretending surprise) Oh ! Then she didn't return here? — to her own room ? HOMANS She ran into his place — and stayed there. TOM While you were hanging about, of course! HOMANS I was " about " — all night! VAUX (makes a dash for Homans) What of that? HOMANS (steps hack, with his hand on pistol-pocket) RHODA (rushes in between) (Shrieks to Savile) Get him out of here! SAVILE (to Homans) (Frightened) Yes ! yes ! — Let us go ! HOMANS (disregarding Savile) If he wants " rough-house " — before the lady — VAUX (to Rhoda) I beg your pardon ! — But — (Turns again to Ho- mans) JUST OFF THE AVE^SUE- ' •-' a^I- SAviLE (to Vaux) Onl}' make it worse — for her ! — and it's bad enough now, God knows ! HOMAXS A gentleman' d understand — that it's got to be handled with gloves. VAUX (calmed) By all means — with gloves ! — (Takes off his gloves) RHODA This sort ! (Holds up a pair of old-time prize-ring gloves) No tips — all knuckles ! HOMAXS (to SavUe and Tom) I'm giving you the bare facts — 'bout where she stayed that night. — May mean nothing. (With a smirk) It was storming; she'd had a bad time of it — and probably didn't want to be alone. SAVILE Nothing of that, here — (Indicates the report) HOMAXS (with an air) We don't go into their private morals. — If she chose to remain in his rooms — all night — VAUX You said she'd " got away " — by the balcony — HOMAXS We thought she did, down the fire-escape — till we looked at the snow — and found no foot-print. VAUX H'm ! — Sherlock Homans ! HOMAXS Quite simple, Doctor Watson! We watched the 102 JUST OFF THE AVENUE place, front and back, all night: saw just who went in — and who left. VAux (promptly) Then you saw me leave the house? HOMANS (deridingly) No ! — And I was watching pretty closely. VAUX Soon after you left my rooms — I went out. HOMANS I didn't notice. VAUX (with good-humor ) Then you weren't watching so closely ! — or you'd seen me — lurch 'gainst — some one. HOMANS I can believe that — after the drink you took ! Gob- let full ! VAUX (irisisting) Bowled him over, nearly — and he didn't notice ! SAviLE (making light of it) Quite possible: — in the dark — and storm. VAUX Yes, there was a storm — and one couldn't see clearly. — And there was ice on the walk. — He'd have fallen — man I bumped — only I grasped his hand — firmly — so tight I felt a ring through his glove — felt it distinctly. HOMANS Light-fingered, aren't you? VAUX Must be, in my job! — Light fingers and >vrist of steel. — That's all that saved the fellow from an ugly bump — the quick grab of his hand — like that! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 103 (Seizes Homans' hand) I was hoping you noticed. HOMAXS No ! (Shows pain) I saw nothing of the sort. — I was 'cross the street — when you came out. VAUx (jumping in) Then I did come out? (Increases pressure on Romans' hand) S A VILE You say you did ! That's enough ! VAUX Not for Romans ! — And we must convince him — beyond shadow of doubt — that I did leave my room that night. — SAVILE He doesn't deny that — even in this " confidential " report. — He says, now, only that he didn't see you — VAUX Though he watched the door, the night through, he didn't see me come out? (Relaxes grip) HOMANs (re-assured) No ! — I saw nothing. SAViLE (as if that ended the matter) There! VAUX And though I staggered 'gainst him — (staggers Homans with a hump of the shotdder) till he must have seen stars — he saw nothing! HOMAXS No ! — Or if I did, I forget. VAUX (smiling grimly) Impossible ! 104 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAviLE (with temper) Why " impossible " ? — In his day's work, he must encounter many " drunks " — He might easily forget your particular case. HOMANS Yes! VAUX You might forget, Homans, that I'd bumped 'gainst you. — But if it was your hand I'd grasped — like that — you'd remember ? HOMANS (writhing) Hell, yes, I'd remember that ! VAUX Thank you ! — Now think, man, think! Try to re- call, that you saw me leave my house : — and that I took hold of you — like this — to keep you from bit- ing the sidewalk. — (All the time crushing Homans* hand) Try to remember! SAVILE What of it? What'll that prove.? HOMANS That it wasn't " street-walking.? " VAUX No ! but that you were mistaken — about my leaving the house: that you've a better memory than you supposed — that it needs only a little — prompting and — pressure ! — That's what it proves, doesn't it? HOMANS (weakly) I guess so. VAUX Be sure, Homans! — Don't guess; — a lady's name's involved. — You're sure she passed the night in my JUST OFF THE AVENUE 105 rooms. Now be sure I wasn't there: be quite sure I left the house — HOMANs (bent, almost, to his knees) Yes ! damn you ! VAUX And it was z/our hand I grasped? HOMANS (in final surrender) You say so — SAViLE (to Vaux) And you'd remember — HOMANs (gasping) To make his aHbi — he'd " remember " — anything. VAUX And if you'd ever crushed a hand — like this — you'd remember it, wouldn't you.'^ HOMANS (fairly yells, from pain) Yes ! yes ! VAUX (releasing him) Thank 3'ou, Mr. Homans. (Romans is nursing his benumbed, tingling hand, and trying to remove the ring) (Vaux re-seizes the hand and holds it up so as to shozv the ring) I thought you were the man — when I felt that ring. (Throws Homans aside, so he nearly topples over) HOMANS You'll feel more rings — before the night's over — (Gestures hand-cuffs, as he crosses to window) (Throws open the window, and signals to some one outside; but in a way scarcely noticeable to the audience; then comes down to Vaux) (With threat- ening gesture) I — I — You're an old man — and before I'm done, you'll thank your stars for it ! 106 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX I'll do nothing of the sort. HOMANs (to Samle) As for leaving his rooms — that part of their — alibi — he handled all right — TOM (grimly) You've proof of that ! HOMANS — And he went straight back — (The policeman en- ters in season to hear) — to the little lady ! — We'll prove that^ too! (Rhoda gasps in consternation: Vaux quite unmoved) (To Policeman) Go ahead ! (Policeman takes warrant from his hat) VAUX (intervening) One moment, officer — HOMANS You've nothing to say — VAUX (as if interceding) Only this : You're not quite alone in the world, I sup- pose? There's some gentle creature, somewhere, who's taught you kindness, sympathy, pity — HOMANS (brushes him aside) (To Policeman) Go on! VAUX (continuing ) — A wife — mother, sweetheart — sister — HOMANS We'll leave the ladies out of this ! (Waves his hand) VAUX I thank you. (Moves to take Romans^ hand, which is quickly withdrawn) (Crosses to Policeman, as if to take warrant) Tear it up ! Don't serve it ! HOMANS (quickly intervenes and seizes the warrant) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 107 POUCEMAN Too late, sir. (Turns to go) HOMANs (to Policeman, after a puzzled glance at the warrant) Here ! — This isn't it ! POLICEMAN That's what they gave me. HOMANS Who — gave you ? POLICEMAN The Judge, at the Night-Court. HOMANS Take it back — and hurry ! (Thrusts warrant at him) Have it made out right. POLICEMAN (not looking at warrant) That's right. HOMANS (sticks warrant under his eyes) Look at the name : is that " Jane Doe " ^ policeman- No ! " Jolin Doe." HOMANS (with disgust) " John Doe " ! (Tries to make policeman take the warrant) POLICEMAN (resisting) That's right! VAUX In case your real name isn't — Romans! HOMANS (perplexed) My name? POLICEMAN That's right ! — Maybe Homans is only your pro- 108 JUST OFF THE AVENUE fessional name, Judge said. So thej put the usual " John Doe." HOMANs (as if amused) What is this — some game ^ POLICEMAN (nods " yes *') (Seriously) And you're it! (Puts hand on Romans' shoulder) (A slight pause) HOMANS What's the charge? POLICEMAN Perjury. HOMANS Who makes the complaint? POLICEMAN (indicating Vaux) This party. HOMANS That crazy loon? VAUX That's right ! HOMANS What evidence? VAUX (indicating policeman) This gentleman. HOMANS (staggered, for a second: then, deridvngly) Policeman's evidence ? Doesn't go in court ! VAUX O, yes — goes with the ring! (Indicates Romans' ring) POLICEMAN (after a questioning look from Romans) That's right ! (Touches the scarf-pin that Romans had given him) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 109 vAux (rather to Savile than Homans) The — alibi — the Night-Court will prove. — I sat through the session that night — all night — with mj friend, the Judge. POLICEMAN (to Homans, sotto-voce and triumphant ) I told you he was no hick ! HOMANS (zmth unconscious humor) And jou told me you went to Confession! POLICEMAN That's right! (Crosses to Vaux) SAVILE (conws down from Vauj:, to Homans) Nice mess you've made of it ! HOMANS I'm not to blame ! — It's Vaux — and the way you handled him. SAVILE (through his teeth) Way I hand — ? — Way he "handled" you, did it. HOMANS (to Policeman) I have your number! VAUX I haven't, Mr. Officer — but I s'pose we can find you on this beat? POLICEMAN (assenting) 'Till there's another shake-up, down here. — Best take my card. (Gives Vaux card from fine case: Vaux reads it, with a start: bows ceremoniously to the policeman) POLICEMAN (touches Homans on shoulder, significantly) Shall we run along? — Quietly? HOMANS Like a lamb ! POLICEMAN (makes to lead Homans off) 110 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAviLE (mtervenkig) No need of that! I'll vouch for his appearance in Court, when called on. (Looks to Vaux) POLICEMAN That won't do. SAVILE (flarmg) My word isn't enough? POLICEMAN Sorry — but — the Commissioner's a crank in cases of this sort. SAVILE You've only to mention my name to your Commis- sioned — POLICEMAN (mterrwptvng) No good! VAUX Mr. Savile's name is good for fifty millions. POLICEMAN Not good for sour apples in this case. SAVILE (in a rage) Why, you ruffian ! — I'll see you're taught how to deal with — a gentleman ! POLICEMAN (with deference) You may be, at that, sir. — And I try to be ; but our business is 'gainst it — yours and mine — 'cording to my daughter. SAVILE What the devil does your daughter know of my — ^ POLICEMAN (placating ) Not you 'specially : but — well, she says there's only three occupations for a gentleman: the farmer who tills the land, the artist who adorns it, and (swvng- JUST OFF THE AVENUE 111 ing his club) the soldier who defends it. (To Ho- mans) Come along! VAUX (infervemng ) You think the Commissioner might take my word — with Mr. Savile's — for this man's appearance in Court ? POLICEMAN (patting Homans on back) I'll risk it ! But if the lamb skips, I'm the goat ! (Exits) HOMAXS Don't worry ! — I'll be at the post when the bell rings. — (As he passes Rhoda, to exit) — The little lad}' can bet on that. RHODA (halts Homans, by hand on his shoulder, so that he must look straight at the prize-fighter's picture) My father, Homans ! — I'm glad, to-night, he's dead ! Or he'd have murder on his soul! (Laughing, through her tears) But I like to think of what he'd do to you! (Homans exits) (Rhoda is about to topple over: Tom moires to catch her, but she avoids him, and crosses to Vaux) RHODA You told me he — cared for me. VAUX Beyond everything else in the world ! RHODA (laughs, to ridicule the very idea) VAUX (insisting) He loves you ! RHODA (flaring) And could question me — like that — before you — and his father — and that beast of a man ! (Exits to Marian's room, left) 112 JUST OFF THE AVENUE S A VILE Stupid blunder of that Homans! TOM (explosive) "Blunder"? SAVILE An honest mistake, I'm sure. — Over-zealous to make a clear case. VAUX (grimly) He made it! SAVILE Awkward, of course, for the girl — and only one way out! VAUX (exultant ) Good! — I knew you'd see it! (To Tom) Fetch Miss Brough — (Tom makes to go, but Savile stops him hy a gesture) (To Savile) So you yourself can tell her. SAVILE I've already told her — how to get out of all this : — get out ! — till this blows over — VAUX That's your " one way? " SAVILE You know a better? VAUX There couldn't be worse ! — Flight is always taken for confession. SAVILE You'd rather she go to court — and tell the world — a sceptical world — of that night in the street? — And in your rooms, Vaux ! — She must tell it all ! — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 113 as chief witness against Homans — if she stays here. Now, unless you prefer her society to her reputation, let her get out ! VAUX She shall ! — leave the country — but with Tom ! TOM (eagerly) That's the one way: my wife! S A VILE What ! — After this — mess? VAUX Because of it ! sAviLE (to Tom) You'll have it cropping-up the rest of her life ! VAUX You'll beat it down ! SAVILE Not with fifty millions ! VAUX With your position — 3^our family — your home — your name ! SAVILE They'd only keep the infernal scandal alive and going ! TOM But you see now it's all a lie! Not one atom of truth, from start to finish! — Some fiendish, damn- able mistake — at best — at best, father ! — You don't question that? SAVILE Others will ! — They'll always hint — and question — about " young Savile's wife." 114 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX That will answer them — your son's wife — silence them, even before they question. SAviLE (with hardly-suppressed impatience ) You concern yourself a lot over my son — and his—! VAUX (assenting) I'm responsible for them, in a way — and to them, — They met through me ; in my house, under my eyes — thrown together — in close companionship. SAVILE No closer than you and she — but you don't marry her — I notice. — You're not so crazy as all that ! VAUX (abstractedly and wistfully) No ! — No ! (Smiling) And Miss Brough even less. SAVILE She'd cut a better figure in Court — as Mrs. Vaux. VAUX (with temper) Miss Brough will never go to court ! — I'll withdraw the charge against Homans. SAVILE (zvith pretence of indifference, but actually re- lieved) Can you.f^ VAUX Surely ! — Or not appear to press the charge. That will end it — TOM (eagerly) And without scandal, dad, or publicity. — So they can't hint — or question — about " young Savile's wife " ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 115 SAVILE Oh? — That's the idea, eh? (To Vaux) That's your way out? TOM And mine ! — The way I'm going to take, — And you can't stop me ! (Rushes to exit, left) SAVILE (to Vaux) You'd condone a crime — compound a felony, the Law calls it! — perjure yourself, practically — ? VAUX Call it what you like: I shan't appear against Homans. SAVILE (in rage) You must — or admit you're a humbug ! And all your roar and fire about chivalry just — punk! — If Homans is the scamp you say, see he's punished — for the sake of other women. — Don't give all your chivalry to Miss Brough! — and make me pay for it — with " my position — family — name " ! — I'd see you damned first — the whole pagan lot of you ! — You started this, Vaux ! and you'll see it through — to the end — or I'll know how to make you — VAUX But you won't? You'll not go that far? SAVILE If need be — I'll go to hell and back. VAUX (in friendly spirit) Don't come back — Stay there ! — if 3'ou drag that girl into court, you'd find Hell cooler than New York. 116 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAviLE ( deridingly ) Bah ! — (Makes to go) What can she do — or you? VAUX (hopelessly ) Nothing ! — Nothing ! — You're Tom's father — We can do nothing! (Looks toward Marian's room) (Takes up hat, gloves y to go) (With change to tone of ominous assurance) But, Savile — (Beckons him; Savile comes down) (Repeats the words and tone Savile used to Rhoda) — the wheels of the Law — once set in motion — CURTAIN ACT THREE Two months later. Same as Act I. The time is evening of a Spring day. The light ad- vances slowly from the last of the sunlight to twilight and dusk; then to the pale silver of the new moon. At rise of curtain Higgins is clearing various articles out of the studio; some he tosses into the room at left: others — costumes of models, sculptor's tools, studio *' props,'* etc. — he throws in an antique ^chest; articles of apparel, hats, shoes, old coats, etc., he makes into a bundle to carry off. From time to time, as he picks up some well remembered costume or some " props " asso- ciated with the statue, he sniffles and throws them into the discard with a mumbled *' Crime " — Ifs a crime! '* A knock at the door; Higgins crosses and opens. s A VILE (entering gruffly) Is he in? HIGGINS No, sir. — He's gone to fetch Miss Brough. — You may find him over at the Lafayette — having an ice and some — patisserie. sAviLE (looking about) H'm! — Must have sold something! HIGGINS Some of his old-clothes, maybe. — Never heard of your son selling a picture! 117 118 JUST OFF THE AVENUE sAviLE (turns sharply) Mr. Vaux, I'm asking for. I want to see hvm. HIGGINS I'm not sure if he's in — and, anyway, he's with a gentleman. (Nods off) SAVILE (in low voice) Find out! (Higgins moves up to alcove, the cur- tains of which are drawn) VAUX (entering from alcove) Mr. Savile. (Signs Higgins to go) SAVILE (hands Vaux letter in official-looking envelope) Who's that from? VAUX (indicating print on envelope) Police-headquarters, evidently. SAVILE Request — rather peremptory — to confer here with one of the Department. Your friend — the police- man? VAUX Most likely. (Enter from alcove, the Policeman: now, apparently, a man-of -fashion; his morning coat, trousers of dark stripe, patent leathers, top hat, light gloves, all of the best mode) (To Savile, presenting the Policeman) You've met before — you gentlemen? SAVILE I don't recall the — gentleman — unless, possibly — (Looking Policeman over) you've changed your tailor. POLICEMAN 'ight. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 119 S A VILE H'm — yes. Now I recognize you. — But — quick promotion, isn't it — from the side-walk.? POLICEMAN I was on special duty on that occasion. And merely as substitute. I'm, regularly, on desk-work. — There'd been trouble in this precinct as you may know — SEviLE (impatiently) Only from the newspapers. POLICEMAN (conti/nuing) And it was necessary to learn — the truth — at first hand. SAVILE Yes, I've read about your freak Commissioner — how he sometimes " pounds the sidewalk," himself. POLICEMAN (assenting) To see just what's going-on — with his own e^^es. SAVILE Like the Sultan of Bagdad — Haroun-Al-Raschid.? POLICEMAN (assenting) And Mr. Roosevelt — when he was Commissioner. SAVILE For so small a case you folks took a lot of trouble — to get at the bottom. POLICEMAN It's more trouble to get at the top in these cases ; — to reach the men of influence, wealth, power, who corrupt the force for some wretched purpose of their own. — The force, as a whole, is sound : no finer body of men in the world. But there are some weak members, of course, and if the opal-pin 120 JUST OFF THE AVENUE is big enough, and the man back of it, big enough — why, jour own daughter, Mr. Savile, might undergo just what Homans planned for Miss Brough. SAVILE The only plan — (to Vaux) you heard Homans — was a clean-up of the district. POLICEMAN (assenting) And, to his sort, a clean-up means " pick-up " — and if that fails, " frame up." — And back of him, usu- ally — that's what roils us ! — is some one we can't " send-up." SAVILE (with ill-suppressed chuckle) Can't prove your case, eh.^ — Haven't the evidence to convict.? POLICEMAN Oh, yes, plenty evidence to convict — before any jury we can keep an eye on — and any judge he can't get his hands on. SAVILE But, of course, if he's rich and powerful — big man, as you say — he appeals the case, straight up the line .? POLICEMAN That's right ! — And somewhere " up the line " he's sure to find a judge of his own making, or his friends': a judge the press and public can't keep an eye on, because he works behind the silken screen of ancient dignities, authority and cunning technicali- ties. In the end — we see it right along in these cases — the Big Man is scot-free — " vindicated ! " — He twiddles his fingers at the Law : the decent fel- lows on the force shrug their shoulders with a JUST OFF THE AVENUE 121 " what's-the-use? " — Why, sir, a case of this sort — " small," you call it — does more to discredit author- ity, demoralize order, than I. W. W.'s, or sputtering, soap-box Anarchists or even Labor driven to des- perate remedies. They're not the real menace to the community. They fight in the open : boldly and frankly defy the Law. It's the other sort that beats us — the Big Man, who works underground — under- mines the Law — SAviLE (rising^ impatiently ) What are you driving at ? — I came here to meet a policeman — to hear some facts — not a Cooper- Union lecture! POLICEMAN You're quite right, sir. — I am a bit of a bore on the subject of the Department — and scamps like Ro- mans. SAVILE What'll he get? — Romans? POLICEMAN You know what he ought to get? SAVILE (sullenly) Yes — for his — stupidity ! POLICEMAN And he'll get it — if you say the word. SAVILE If I—? POLICEMAN (nods ** yes **) It's up to you, Mr. Savile. SAVILE " Up to me "? What the devil have I to do with it? 122 JUST OFF THE AVENUE POLICEMAN Homans can't be tried without the evidence of Miss B rough. S A VILE What's that to me? POLICEMAN Your son's fiancee? VAUX (quickly) And before the case comes to trial — your daughter- in-law. POLICEMAN Now, of course, if you're willing that ypung Mrs. Savile should figure in the case — SAVILE Perfectly willing! Why not? POLICEMAN Well, it's an ugly story. And ugly questions will be asked — SAVILE What questions? POLICEMAN Oh, you can't foretell what the law may grind out,, once you set the wheels going — 'gainst a hawk like Homans — SAVILE And to spare a lady some awkward questions, you'd free the hawk? POLICEMAN That's right! SAVILE You say that is right? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 123 POLICEMAN That's for you to say. Shall the hawk go free now his claws are pulled — his wings cut — a brand on him ? Or shall we cage the hawk — with the help of young Mrs. Savile? VAUX (after a pause) What do you say, Savile? SAVILE (to Policeman) I'll answer that when Miss Brough is young Mrs. Savile. POLICEMAN Then I'll have your answer — say — by — (Looks at his watch) ten o'clock.-^ SAVILE (in a rage) To-night.? POLICEMAN That's right ! — Mr. Vaux is leaving town to-mor- row, and you must settle this matter before he goes. SAVILE (furious) Who the hell are you, to order me about — this fash- ion .^^ — I'll see your Department 'bout this — and at once ! (Makes to go) POLICEMAN I'll take you there. — My car's below. SAVILE Is the Commissioner in — at this hour.^^ POLICEMAN (zmth significa/nt smile) He will be when / get there. SAVILE (with a grimace of dismay) H'm ! — The " freak " himself, eh ? POLICEMAN That's right! (Exits) 124 JUST OFF THE AVENUE SAViLE (with unconscious humor) You expect the police to be honest, with a man like that at the head ? Ready to condone a felony ! A black-mailer — that's what he is — a common black- mailer ! Thinks he can frighten me bully-rag me — because he suspects something! VAUX You're wrong, Savile ; he suspects nothing. SAVILE Then what's his talk of my — (wincing) — daugh- ter-in-law? VAUX I told him Tom was going to marry Miss Brough — 'mediately. SAVILE I'm damned if he does ! No matter what that black- mailer may think or suspect — VAUX (breaking in — reassuringly) Nothing! Set 3^our mind at rest. The Commis- sioner suspects nothing of your part in this business. (Savile sighs relief) He knows, Savile, he knows everything. Homans has confessed — kept nothing back. SAVILE The crook ! — The lying crook ! VAUX (grimly) That's right ! (Enter Tom and Rhoda.) (There is a slight pause) TOM Dad, Rhoda's waiting to hear you. SAVILE I've nothing to say to Miss Brough. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 1^5 TOM The Commissioner thinks you have. SAVILE Miss Brough, I don't care to quarrel with Tom, on your account — RHODA No, don't, please. 'Tisn't worth while. SAVILE He seems to think I should explain that blunder of Homans — RHODA But there's no need to explain ; it's all quite clear to my mind. SAVILE You understand, of course, how it came about. RHODA I think I understand — perfectly. SAVILE There were many suspicious circumstances. For one thing — your father. RHODA What about "Dad?" SAVILE He frequently had trouble with the police. RHODA (flaring) Never! Never! Police had trouble with him — maybe — but — SAVILE Well, there's your furs. Miss Brough. RHODA My "furs?" 126 JUST OFF THE AVENUE S A VILE A coat you wear, extraordinary — Homans thought — for a girl in your position — a coat worth, he says, — two — three hundred dollars. KHODA (as if astonished) Two or three hundred ! My coat? When my father wore a fur coat, Mr. Savile, he didn't wear alley- cat, musk-rat, nor Japanese mink. Two or three thousand it's w^orth — and a lot more — 'cause the fur-man at our shop offered that for it. And my father earned it in one night, God rest his soul ! — when he knocked out " Slugger Slavinski " — and he twenty pounds heavier than father — Higgins'll tell you — he saw the fight — and Dad backed himself to win, six-to-one against him — and they having it all fixed to dope father after the eighth round, with a swig of whiskey ; but it didn't work 'cause Dad never touched whiskey in a fight — nor anything but cham- pagne — and he won enough that night for the coat — and all his debts — and masses for his parents and some of the neighbors. To me it isn't a — coat; it's a — religion ! Thank God, Homans didn't know how much it's worth that night he tried to steal my char- acter; he'd have stolen my coat instead. S A VILE That was a blunder, I admit — and you're entitled to some decent amend. VAUX There's only one — decent amend for such a blunder. TOM And I'm the one to make it — or try to. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 127 S A VILE You try it — and see how you'll live ! TOM I can do — something — with paint. SAVILE You can't eat paint — nor clothe yourself with it — though maybe she could — And you can't paint room- rent — vAux (to Tom, reassuringly ) The rent-agent is quite S3^mpathetic. SAVILE Not mine ! — I've bought this building. VAUX I congratulate 3^our tenants. SAVILE The place will be cleaned-up. VAUX Again I congratulate 3^our tenants. SAVILE And, from next month, the rent's doubled. VAUX I still congratulate your tenants ; — they'll have to move out. SAVILE That's the idea ! — to get rid of the — (Glaring at Rhoda) riff-rafF! (Exits) RHODA " RifF-raff " ! And you were sure he'd consent to your marrying — TOM Hang his consent — so long as I have yours ! 128 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX That's the spirit! Now, run along and have it over with ! EH CD A (astonished) Now? Now? TOM Certainly. RHODA I'd want to talk it over, first, with Marian. TQM We know what that means. RHODA I told her I would : — she's been like a sister to me — and made me promise. TOM So she could dissuade you. Marian Gray's never liked me — VAUX That wouldn't count with Miss Brough — once she's made up her mind. RHODA Of course not ! — But we couldn't marry like this — • to-night ! TOM Why not? — Mr. Vaux wants us to marry, noxv. (Rhoda looks to Vaux who nods " i/es '*J RHODA (reluctant) But there's a lot of things — aren't there? — a license — and — whole rigamarole? VAUX It's all been attended to — license, witness, parson — and the rest of the — rigamarole — JUST OFF THE AVENUE 129 IIHODA Not now ! — Wait, Tom. — Later, maybe, when I get that awful man out of my mind — (Hands over eyes as if to shut out tlie vivid memory) — and your questions — that night — TOM I was a mad-man, Rhoda, to question you ; but I for- got everything — except that I loved you. — And when I had to hear that hideous story — that you w^ouldn't deny — wouldn't even answer — RHODA (hands over ears) Don't, please, don't ! TOM Can't you forgive me.^ (To Vaux, at -window) Tell her — she must — and forget it all, as I do. — She will, if you tell her. (Rhoda looks at Vaux, question- ingly) VAVX Her own heart will tell you, presently. — Go 'cross to the Square ! (Opens wide the window: one hears chirping birds, shouts of children, and a hand- organ) Don't lose this new Spring day — with the trees just budding, and the flowers in bloom — and the " kids " dancing to the hand-organ — and the birds, too ! (To Rhoda) See how they forget — the birds and flowers and trees — they've forgotten there ever were clouds and storms and killing snows of winter. — And so will you ! TOM Come along, Rhoda. RHODA (to Vaux) And you, too ! 130 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX No, I've some things to 'tend to. — (To Tom) After, take Miss Brough to dinner — really dinner, no table d'hote! — And see a jolly play — and walk home in the moonlight. — This lady's never herself, — her best self — I 'magine, except in the moonlight. Put this on — the evenings are chilly. (He helps her into the Spanish coat she wore when posing for Didcinea) RHODA Do come with us ! TOM (protesting) He can't, he says. RHODA (insisting) Can't you, really? — Please, Mr. Vaux! VAUX Be off, you humbug! RHODA Very well, then. — (Makes to exit : turns) O — here's the key. (Puts it on table) VAUX Thanks. — And, on your way out, knock at Watts' door. — Say I'd like to see him. RHODA (turning at door) You'll be in, later.? VAUX (evasively) If not, I'll leave the key under the mat. RHODA Don't forget! (Exits) VAUX (alone) (with a wistful smile) " Don't forget " ! I must — forget — or I'd — With her goes the very breath of the place — (Be- gins to clear out desk: throxm letters, papers, pic- JUST OFF THE AVENUE 131 tures into the fire-place, etc.) I can't live here — without her — with all these things to remind me. — Every time that knob turns I'd — ! (The door opens; he turns xdth joyous expectancy as if to Rhoda, but sees, instead, Watts) VAUX (in tone that tries vairdy to conceal his disap- pointment) O, it's you, Watts ! w^ATTs (peeved) They said you wished to see me. — Evidently a mis- take — (Turns to go) VAUX No, no — I did want to see you — But you're going out — in war-paint — (Indicates Watts' evening clothes) WATTS (airily) Nothing 'special: just dining. — I can't stand day- clothes after six! — What's up? VAUX It's about the " Royal Sneeze " gentleman — WATTS (delighted) Griggs ? — Good ! VAUX Do you suppose he's lost interest in my " Quixote ".^^ WATTS "Lost interest".^ — He's lost weight, over it! Pining away for it ! VAUX (alarmed) You think he'd take it? WATTS He'd cart it away himself — to-night. 132 JUST OFF THE AVENUE vAux (shaking his head sorrowfully ) H'm — h'm — h'm ! Bad as that, eh ? WATTS It's got into his blood — his advertising blood — and you know what that means. VAUX (ruefully) Yes, and I'm very happy. WATTS You don't look it ! — Buck up ! — Griggs is always talking of it. VAUX You haven't said anything lately — warned me, in any way, — and — (Brightening) — I thought, maybe, he'd given it up. — (Relapsing into melan- choly) But it seems not, eh? He won't back out? WATTS No ! And you shan't, either ! VAUX (with forced gaiety) No, no, of course not ! — I'm quite resolved — and resigned — to let him have it. — And I'm going to be very gay over it ! — It's a stroke of luck — in the nick of time — and I've every reason to be grateful to Heaven — and to you — and Griggs — and his five-cent cigar. — Ha — ha — ha ! WATTS (laughing with him) That's the spirit ! Vive-la-bagatelle ! VAUX No — vive-la-cachuca ! WATTS Forget that! VAUX I shall — when I'm away from here. — And I'm go- JUST OFF THE AVENUE 133 ing, Watts, the moment this business is arranged — I'm ofF! WATTS (amazed) Where? VAUX I don't know — but somewhere a long way off. — And I'll be gone a long time — and I mean to travel foot-free and care-free. I'll take with me nothing — almost — except what's on my back. — Higgins will take what clothes he wants ; — give the rest to Jake, the janitor — and the furniture to Jake's wife — so I'll never see them again ! WATTS My dear Vaux, you're going to stay here, with us ! VAUX No, no, no ! I couldn't be here while that's going on. — So I'm running away. — It's cowardly, I know, but I couldn't stand it. Watts, to see the child of my heart in every barroom : and tobacco-booth where they drug their patrons with trading-stamps : in the five-cent shops, my "Don Quixote" cheek-by- j owl with " JefF and Mutt " and " Kewpie " and '"* Billi- kens " — and all to advertise their " Cachuca " ! — ■ That, perhaps, I could endure, but the thought of the wives, sweethearts, mothers — orphans, maybe — who'd have to suffer the fumes of the thing ! — And no escape for them — you heard Griggs threaten — they'd sell 'em by millions ! — And I'll have 'em on my conscience! WATTS O, it isn't so hopeless ! 134 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX No, I have one lingering hope : — the more they ad- vertise Don Quixote, the less cigars they'll sell ! WATTS Put that out of your mind i VAUX Never, Watts ! — Mary, Queen of Scots, said when she died they'd find " Calais " written on her heart. On mine, good friend, you'll find " Cachuca " ! WATTS (alarmed) My dear, good, friend. — You're not yourself ! VAUX (reassuringly) Quite! Quite! WATTS Hell, no ! — You're burned out — with this work — VAUX (laughing lightly) Nonsense ! I've loved it ! WATTS That's just it! — You've given it your whole, won- drous heart — and soul — and all your being. — Let me manage this for 3^ou. — I'll make Griggs get out a new cigar — ^^«-center — name it " Don Quixote " — and your picture on every box ! VAUX (horrified) My dear Watts ! WATTS See what it's done for me ! — Just my portrait in- dorsing " Royal Sneeze " ! — Sold my old novel — " Millions in a JifFy " — fifty thousand — in three months ! VAUX (patting hvm on the hack) A "best-seller," eh? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 1^5 WATTS (ruefully) Yes, and as bad as the best of them ! VAUX (consolingly) Well, you'll never have to do it again. WATTS (nods '* 2/^5," with emphasis) Once more ! for a place on Long Island 1 (Hands hi/in a book showily hound) There's the book! (Vaux glances through it) Publishers fought for it ! Will sell — quarter million ! — Just what the public want : grounds for divorce in ever}^ chapter ! VAUX (glanciiig through hook) And all the " grounds," it seems, in choice location : Fifth Avenue — Palm Beach — Newport — WATTS (assenting ) Dirt with diamond-dust ! — That's what they want ! — Taradiddles and tiaras ! VAUX My dear friend, I'm 'fraid your years of struggle, poverty — have left some of their bitterness. WATTS No ! There was none, ever ! in those years of poverty — lived with your own kind ! — It's only when you get into that other world, a world without ideals or dreams, hopes or any ambitions beyond stuffing their pocketbook and filling their bellies ! — Come on, let's go up where they do it! (Puts his arm through Vaux's) VAUX (shocked) But, my dear Watts ! (Eyes on page) Here's " damn "— " hell "— blankety — blank — damn — dash — 136 JUST OFF THE AVENUE WATTS " Blank "— " dash "— nothing! — Printed in full — all over the place ! That's the fashion ! VAUX But swearing's out-of-f ashion — damn it ! — every- where — except beer-cellars ! WATTS (assenting) Beer-cellars and best-sellers ! — You must stick 'em in — " damns " and " hells " — thick as raisins ! — Then they say your work has " stuff " 1 — " punch " ! ! — " guts " ! ! ! VAUX (sardonic) The top-note of praise, eh? — WATTS They'll say it of your Quixote ! VAUX (horrified) That he has gu — gullets ? — giblets ? — gizzards ? (Angrily) Then I'll not sell — (Change to tone of hopeless despair) Yes ! Must ! — must ! — And you shan't talk me out of it ! — Be off ! — Get out ! (Pointing to statue) He's doomed! WATTS But not to Griggs ! — Some one else will — (Struck hy an idea) By Jove, I will — I'll buy it ! VAUX (chafpngly) For Central Park? WATTS What ! 'mong those cast-iron " Prince-Alberts " ? (Postures like the much-ridiculed statues in Central Park) I'll put it in my own park — my place on Long Island. — Whatever you say, Vaux — and, we'll JUST OFF THE AVENUE 137 close the deal now — (Takes huge roll of bills from pocket) — so Griggs can't tempt you. VAUX (refusing) Nonsense ! — indulge my pride — and vanity — at your expense — (The clock strikes the quarter- hour) (There's a knock at the door. Vaux crosses to open, but stops suddenly: stands a second in troubled thought: then goes up stage and closes the folding-doors of the alcove, so as to shut out viem of statue. Stands there, as if on guard) (The knock is repeated) VAUX (in low-tone) Come 1 WATTS (in loud tone) Come in! (Griggs enters) GRIGGS 'Fraid I'm not very prompt, Mr. Vaux — VAUX (ruefully) Horribly ! GRIGGS President of our company's in town — from Boston — and when I got your message — to call — (Watts indicates surprise to find that Vaux sent for Griggs) GRIGGS (continues proudly) — I was having tea with him, and his daughter. She rushed me right down here — while you're in the mood, she said : it might change when the moon came up. — And she swears her father must have your — (Points to alcove) VAUX (bowing) Honored ! 138 JUST OFF THE AVENUE GRIGGS She's waiting below, till it's settled — vAux (seeing a way out) Then let it go for the present — (Hands Griggs his hat) Don't keep a lady waiting — (Urges him off) Come back later — next week — or next year. GRIGGS Do you mind having her in? VAUx (embarrassed) Well — I — I — (Turns up stage, troubled) GRIGGS (sotto-voce to Watts) Go fetch her ! WATTS (gestures unwiUingness) GRIGGS (insisting) I don't dare. — He'd bolt the door — He's wavering now. w^ATTs (aloud) Mr. Vaux can't talk business before a lady. GRIGGS ril talk the business — unless you've beat me to it. VAUX No, no. Mr. Watts didn't know I'd sent for you. WATTS But I've made him an offer — GRIGGS What price .P WATTS His own! (Exits) VAUX But I've declined it, Mr. Griggs. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 139 GRIGGS Then you're not hard-up ! I hoped — when I got your note — vAux (nods '* yes "J I have need of money. GRIGGS Glad of it — for myself and you, too! 'Cause it's going to be a great thing for you, Mr. Vaux — and for — for — your friend there on the horse — I never can get his name just right. — Before I get through, he'll be notorious ! — And you, too ! VAUX (with a sigh of despair) And the Cachuca! GRIGGS Yes, but not the Cachuca you know — and Watts — used to know. We've improved it. VAUX You could improve it only by — drowning it. GRIGGS That's what we've done ; destroyed it ! VAUX (with deep how) I salute you ! GRIGGS (hands him a cigar) There's the new Cachuca — that'll advertise your statue — and it — sizzles ! VAUX So does the other ! GRIGGS Yes, but this has " stufF "—" pep "—" punch "— " gu — (Watts and Marian at door before he can complete the word) VAUX (starts and winces) 140 JUST OFF THE AVENUE WATTS (hems and coughs warnmgl'y) GRIGGS (presenting) President's daughter — Miss Gray. MARIAN (greeting Vaux) " Marian " — to Mr. Vaux. VAUX We're old friends. GRIGGS (presenting) Mr. Watts — of " The Royal Sneeze." MARIAN (with mock distance) I recognize him — from the portrait. GRIGGS (to Vaux) Miss Gray swears — (The others disconcerted) — by your friend there — (Nods tozmrd statue) — Got her father to read your book. — / told him the author was a friend of Watts — and why you wouldn't sell us the figger. That started him thinking 'bout " Cre-o-soty " — and it got in his blood, he said, and to get the statue by hook or crook — VAUX And this is the — " crook " ? (Scents the cigar, with obvious gratification) H'm! GRIGGS Yes, it's full of pu — WATTS (with a winky or nudge, to Griggs) Pu — pure Havana. GRIGGS Nothing but! WATTS (same business) Made by well-paid labor? — GRIGGS The best! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 141 WATTS In good work-rooms ? GRIGGS Antiseptic ! — And sold for near cost — no profit to speak of — except for the enormous sales — VAUX But still "five-cents"? GRIGGS Yes, but " straight " — no more " six for a quarter." VAUX I thank 3^ou — in behalf of — (Throws open the fold- ing-doors showing the now completed statue, gleam- ing under a -flood of brilliant light from above: then stands aside, in attitude of dejection.) GRIGGS (with enthusiasm) By Jiminy ! — When our President sees that ! — puff-, ing a Cachuca! (Turns and notes Vaux's sombre manner) Say, if the terms I named aren't enough — VAUX Too much — now — with so slight a profit in the Cachuca. GRIGGS Don't worry 'bout that ! — Any extra value we put in the Cachuca, we'll hook out of our Perfectos, and other expensive stuff. VAUX (smiling) I thought there was a catch — somewhere ! GRIGGS That's only robbing the wealthy — WATTS (coughs warningly ) GRIGGS (quickly continues) And they're better off, with cigars not so rich and in JUST OFF THE AVENUE heavy. — Well, what say ? — Shall we call it a bar- gain? VAUX (winces at the word) I _ I _ don't know — but — (To Watts) — the snufF's working! MARIAN Don't decide now, Mr. Vaux. — Think it over — to- night. VAUX (tzoinkling) When the moon comes up? (Touches his brow, sig- nificantly) GRIGGS Will you call, 'bout noon, to-morrow — for your cheque? — if it's all right? VAUX In that case, Mr. Watts will act for me — if you don't mind. — I'll be leaving town, early. GRIGGS To celebrate, eh? — Well, you artist-chaps know how to do it when you have the price. — Palm Beach, I s'pose. VAUX Possibly — or California — GRIGGS Well, at the Royal Ponciana — or Coronada — Del Monte — or any of those swell places, you can do me a good turn. VAUX Honored ! GRIGGS Just ask for the Cachuca. — And ask loud ! — (Ex- its,) JUST OFF THE AVENUE 143 VAUX (to Watts) When I've thought this over, I may become insane — " that way " — (Watts nods under standingly.) MARIAN (to Watts) V\\ run along. — You'll join me later? — VAUX Stay, Miss Gray, if you will. — (Lightly) — This may be my last will and testament — and there should be a witness — (To Watts) Part of that cheque — a quarter, say — you would send to me — to an address you'll get later. A trifle, sa}^ $600 — I'd like Higgins to have, in monthly instalments. — But see you don't pay it to him on race-days. — And thirty, a month — give him, extra — for Cosie. (Writes on slip of paper, or card) WATTS (sceptical) Much chance for Cosie ! He starves his wife ! VAUX Yes, but — Higgins is gentleman, when it comes to a horse ! — The rest you'll please put in the bank to the credit of — (Gives Watts the card) — that name. WATTS (suspiciously ) What for.? VAUX He knows. WATTS Not a gift .? VAUX (''No'') A loan. — He needs it. WATTS Let him " touch " his father. 144 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX Can't, just now. WATTS Why ? Is he paralyzed — the old man ? VAUX Tom's quarreled with his father. WATTS Yes, I know, but — VAUX In time, of course, that will right itself, but, mean- while, the boy needs this help in his work — to go abroad, for study and travel — WATTS (in mingled amazement and anger) And for that you'd sell the—.? Well, of all the damned, crazy, quixotic notions — VAUX (in protest) Stop ! Stop ! MARIAN (with affection) Of course, he doesn't mean " crazy " — VAUX (interrupting) " Crazy " if you like ! — (Touches forehead) But " Quixotic," no ! I do this for self! He never did — for self ! I do this for my own happiness. WATTS (grimhj) Yes, 3^ou look it ! VAUX I want Tom to have this money. — He must have it — to marry. MARIAN Rhoda? VAUX Of course! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 145 MARIAN When ? — when ? VAUX (looking at his watch) . Very soon, now — she'll be Tom Savile's wife — if he found the parson at home. (Goes to window) And he is in ! (Looks out of window) The cross is lighted! And presently the bell will ring and we'll know they're at the altar. Come, we'll drink to their happiness. (Prepares to pour three glasses of cold tea) -MARIAN (protesting ) In cold tea ! WATTS That's the stuff — for such a marriage ! MARIAN Well,— (Makes to go) — I'll be — (Turns) — It's a rotten shame! VAUX Shame .P WATTS Yes, and that's on your conscience, too! Rhoda marries him only because you told her to — out of sheer gratitude to ^ouf VAUX But that's too absurd ! MARIAN Nothing you advise Rhoda is too absurd. — Why, she'd marry Mr. Watts, if you said so. WATTS (peeved) Yes, or Higgins — or Jake ! VAUX (indignant) You go too far! 146 JUST OFF THE AVENUE MARIAN No ! He's right ! — She'd marry you, if you told her to — she's so grateful for what you've done for her. — That's how I first knew she wasn't in love with you. — They don't go together — love and gratitude — like hers. — (Turns to Watts) I'm awfully obliged, by the way, for these lovely orchids — (To Vaux) — To repay you, she'd sell her soul — or even her fur coat ! — That's why she marries Savile ! — (Laughs heartily) But she'll get even with him — thank God — or I don't know the little lady ! VAUX I've known her longer than you. MARIAN Yes, but I room next to her — and we've talked over young Savile. VAUX What's wrong with " young Savile ".'^ WATTS Old Savile ! — to start with ! — Like sire, like son ! VAUX That holds only with horses — cattle — dogs — swine • — WATTS That covers the Saviles ! — Why, Vaux, you can't know — VAUX (turns away, as if refusing to listen further) Enough for me that Rhoda loves him ! MARIAN " Loves " hell ! — She mouldy too, if you told her to ! — And thought it would make you happy. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 147 vAux (sombrely) She's made me happy, — as it is. WATTS (grimly) Yes ! Like the Cachuca ! — And for this you're ready to sacrifice your ideals — the child-of-your- heart — MARIAN He shan't ! I'll see he doesn't. VAUX (protesting) Please, Watts, no more! — You don't understand. WATTS No, and never will — how a man who balks at a bad cigar can stand Tom Savile ! — VAUX (dismis singly) If what I ask, annoys you — ■ WATTS Of course, not ! — But since you rcill do this insane thing, do be sensible about it: give the money to Rhoda. VAUX (assenting ) I've thought of that — a marriage-gift — but — it would embarrass Tom. WATTS (through a burst of laughter) " Embarrass Tom ! " — Good-night ! VAUX Good-bye — (Offers hand) MARIAN No, no! (To Watts) Bring him with us! — Then to the Concert — (To Vaux) I'm going to try Rhoda's song. — You know the tune — (Plays a few bars on the piano) Mr, Watts wrote the words. — 148 JUST OFF THE AVENUE WATTS She has a voice sent straight from Heaven ! MARIAN Yes — but a hell of a j ob to make the world believe it! WATTS (urging Vaux) You must hear — WATTS I'd love to — but — no ! — I'd only spoil your even- ing. WATTS You'll spoil my life — if you don't come along. — Because I've a presentiment, old friend, a horrid fore- boding, that I'm going to ask a lady to marry me ! — (Marian stops playing) — And she's going to refuse me! MARIAN (resumes playing, very softly) Serve you right ! — after that book ! With its oaths and cuss-words on every page. — It's worse than Shakespeare or Theodore Dreiser — Even the heroine — that divine, majestic rotter that you rave about — talks like two pirates. WATTS But, my dear, adorable girl, you are divine, majestic — but you — " cuss " ! MARIAN Not when I sing! — And you shouldn't when you write. — You never heard me swear at Carnegie Hall — or even a fashionable musicale — where it might make a hit — give my song — " punch " ! My " damns " don't hurt any one but myself, 'cause I only do it 'mong friends — and to express my JUST OFF THE AVENUE 149 feelings. But you da it to sell your damned book — and I blush for you ! WATTS You'll never blush again! VAUX That's a pity! (To Marian) You do it beauti- fully. WATTS (to Marian) My next book'll please you. — It's all planned ! — Won't sell enough, by God's Grace, to pay the printer's bill — but will give me back my self-respect — and lose my publisher's ! — And you couldn't blush if you tried ! MARIAN (gestures " no " emphatically) I won't even try ! WATTS Not just now — but some day! MARIAN (mith coquetry) It'll take " some day " — a very long day — and most the night! (She makes to go, after a good-bye to Vauw) WATTS (at door) I'll see you, in the moiTiing, before you go ! VAUX You won't be up so early. WATTS (with a nod toicard Marian) I'll be up all night ! (Exits, following Marian) VAUX (calling after them, as their chatter and laughter gradually silence) Good-bye, merry friends ! (Looking about the room) Good-bye, pleasant fancies! (To the statue) Good-bye, sweet memories — (In a voice betxveen 150 JUST OFF THE AVENUE tears and frenzy) — for I perceive I am about to — (The church-hell starts clanging, merrily) (He stares at the statue a few seconds; takes up the mallet and is about to hurl it at the figure mhen Rhoda enters, agitated, half-tearful) RHODA Mr. Vaux ! — Are you mad ! VAux (lets fall the mallet) Almost ! KHODA You meant to destroy it? VAUX Yes! RHODA But you've sold it ! — For a wretched cigar ! VAUX No! RHODA (insisti/ng) Yes, for that old Cachuca! VAUX No, no ! For a nezi)^ Cachuca ! (Laughs) — im- proved — reformed. — And he — (Indicates statue) — did it ! RHODA (stamps her foot) Don't laugh ! — You're heart-broke, I know, though 3^ou smile as if you hadn't a care in the world. VAUX I haven't — now — that I see you — and know you're going to be happy. RHODA And that's why you sell it — (He gestures protest) — for Tom Savile and me ! JUST OFF THE AVENUE 151 VAUX Nonsense ! BHODA Yes ! Mr. Watts just told me ! VAUX That's silly of Watts — and selfish — utterly selfish of him — He wants to have a corner on Griggs ! — We'll show him ! — KHODA But not to-night ! Wait — 'bout Griggs ! — Decide to-morrow ! VAUX I'll be gone to-morrow. RHODA Before you go — an hour or two — and I can man- age. — Please give me — time — (Weeps silently) VAUX (bewildered for a moment) What's on your mind, girl? RHODA Your " Quixote " — and my coat ! — It will bring part, at least, — and the song may help, Marian says — and Mr. Watts will lend me the rest. (She turns away) VAUX (his T'oice tremidous with affection) Rhoda ! — You — you — (Approaches her: stops, and his voice swerves into a fine pretence of jollity and laughter) You couldn't live without that coat! Your very heart would freeze — RHODA (as the birds chirp outside) The Winter's over. VAUX (smilingly) But they wear furs in Summer. 152 JUST OFF THE AVENUE KHODA C no '*j Won't be style this Summer — furs. And never in Spain, in Summer. — Let me do it — please. — I've always thought — praised — that some day you'd be poor — so poor my coat might be of use. That's why I took such care of it — wouldn't risk it in the snow — VAUX Nor even on Higgins' tips — ? — But I've given my word to Griggs. RHODA (with meaning) One can change their mind. VAUX That's the sacred right of your sex. KHODA (assenting) Sacred duty, sometimes. VAUX (alert to her meaning, and alarmed) You haven't changed your mind — 'bout marrying Tom.? RHODA (after a slight pause) No! VAUX Where — where is he ? RHODA (smiling) " Waiting at the Church " — for the parson. VAUX Then everything's all right.'' EHODA Quite as it should be. VAUX I knew — over there — (Nods toward Square) — you'd forgive him. JUST OFF THE AVENUE 153 RHODA Why, of course ! — 'Tisn't hard to forgive when jou don't much care. VAUX But you do care? RHODA (wearily) If you say so, yes, I do care — in a way. VAUX Not the way 3'ou care for Mr. Watts — or Higgins — or me? RHODA (promptly ) No! (With wistful smile) I shouldn't say that. — (With toss of head) But I'm not going to marry him — to-night ! VAUX Why not ? — Beautiful night ! RHODA (with a shrug) I'm not in the mood ! VAUX (with uplifted eye-brows) Oh ! RHODA Well, you have moods, don't you ? — And Tom in- sists it mtist be " now " — to-night — moment the parson gets in — right off the reel ! — That's no w ay VAUX (nods " yes ") With you^ Rhoda — I guess the only way. — And I couldn't start off, to-morrow, with the thought of you here — unprotected, alone. — I suppose I'll sim- ply have to wait — till you are in the mood ! 154 JUST OFF THE AVENUE RHODA C no " j Don't wait, Mr. Vaux! I'll do 'most anything you tell me, but don't wait ! VAUX Then you have changed your mind? RHODA (promptly, mith some temper) No ! I've not changed my mind ! I never had a mind to marry Tom Savile — to-night. — I had your mind, Mr. Vaux ! That one I have changed — for my own. — I always suspected I had one ; — but, somehow, you — confused — me, Mr. Vaux, until you sent us to the Square just now — and I heard the birds, and the fountain, and the hand-organ — and I felt, somehow, Tom wasn't the man I wanted to hear tliem with. — Then I was sure of my mind. — And now I wouldn't change back to yours — if you talked Tom till Dooms-day! VAUX I'll begin when I get back. (Takes hat, and makes to go) RHODA (intervening) You going to fetch Tom.f* VAUX No ! To explain to the parson. — He'll think I'm crazy — after my making all the arrangements — for the license, service — and — RHODA Take me with you. VAUX What for.? JUST OFF THE AVENUE 155 RHODA ni explain — that I've a headache — or a tooth- ache — or my trousseau isn't ready. VAUX He'll think we're all crazy ! — You run home — you look tired, Miss Brough ; — j^ou've not been yourself lately; — I'll arrange matters — with the parson; tell him 3'ou wish to wait — a day or two. — RHODA (against the door, barring his way) I like the way you dispose of me ! — arrange my life for me ! — tell me what I wish and don't wish ! — who I'm to choose for love, and who for a friend — when I'm to marry and who I must marry — and what I may think and mustn't — as though I had no mind of my own — no heart — no will — no wish ! VAUX I've tried only to anticipate your will and wish — to guide you, surely, to its fulfilment. — I've sought to divine, and make clear to 7/ou — what was going on in that dreamy, fantastic, irresponsible little head. — I believed — fondly — but foolishly, it seems — that I was reading your dearest thoughts — as I'd read the simplest English — RHODA A girl doesn't always think English. — And she doesn't think as simple as she looks. — If you ever read here — (Touches h^r head) — one dim, tiny thought that I'd marry Tom Savile — you must have read, too, that it was for you I did it — only to please you. — I supposed I could, 'til the time came. — Now I know I couldn't marry any man without love — not even you, Mr. Vaux, just to please you ! 156 JUST OFF THE AVENUE VAUX Good Lord, no ! Marry without love ! RHODA You wouldn't want me to? VAUX (repels the idea) Out of mere affection, tenderness, loyalty ! RHODA That isn't enough? VAUX For your happiness, no ! — To be comrades is some- thing : to love and be loved as friend ; — but there's a difference — how vast, amazing and beautiful you've yet to learn. — You're so young — so new to life ! — And I envy more than any one else in the world, the man you'll some day come to love — as you must love — not only in heart and soul and mind, but in every atom of your splendid, vital, eager youth. That's the love for your marriage, Miss Brough! — There should be — for your happi- ness — there must be — (Hesitates) RHODA Go on, Mr. Vaux! Say it! VAUX Affection isn't enough — nor gratitude — nor pity — nor even the msh to love ! — There must be — how shall I tell you? RHODA I know — without you telling ! — I've always known — from the first — with you ! (In Spanish) (With all her heart and soul) A prueba de contraria estoy hecho De blanda cera y de diamante dure, JUST OFF THE AVENUE 157 Y a las leyes de amor el alma ajusto. Blando cual es, 6 fuerte of rezco el pecho : Entallad, 6 imprimid lo que os de gusto, Que de guardarlo eternamente juro! VAUX (bewildered) What's that? — What are you saying? RHODA What Dulcinea said to him. (Indicates the statue of Quixote) VAUX I don't recall — Say it in English, Miss Brough ! (Draws near to her) RHODA You can't say it in English! VAUX (drawing nearer) You can try ! (Seizes her in mad embrace) RHODA I will not, Mr. Vaux. (Puts her arms about his neck) VAUX (kisses her repeatedly/) Say it, girl ! Say it. Miss Brough ! RHODA (breathless, between his kisses) Give me a chance, Mr. Vaux. THE END M'233675 THE UNIVERSITY OF CAUFORNIA LIBRARY linii