F 8 BANCROFT LIBRARY > THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA JHiuor Slrama. No. XXXIII. CALIFORNIA. JJtccc of ONE ACT. BY J. STIRLlNa (COYNE, SQ. THE STAGE BUSINESS, CASTS OF CHARACTERS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, ETC. gork : PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM TAYLOR & CO., No. 151 NASSAU STREET. AGENTS. STRrwor.a & TOWWSKND. W. F. BUHOEOS, DEWITT fc DATE;ORT, II LOJO It Bno bv.i -. ORP fe Co., FISHER & BRO.. HUKSTIB fe CoutE.v, ATu> I'otA-; Kri>: : IOTCHKIIS !(. Co.. FERRIDGE & Co., FISHER & BRO., Boston ; TATLOR k AViNcn, T. B. PETERSOK, FISHER it BRO.. GETZ & BUCK, TAYLOR & Co.. Bvltimortf AMOS HEAD. Ckirleston ; J. H. PIERCK. }'.'ilminnton. A" C. ,' M. P. MORSE Pittsburgh, Pa.; D. M. DEWEY, Hochetter. N Y ; A. BURKE, tivffalo, N. Y. ; W. ADAM, Wathington, D. C. ; PARKHURST &. BKO.. f'rci-id*ncf. R. I. ; A. SMITH. Troy, JV. Y. / O. WET, jRtcAmond, Fa ; SIIIATTON & BARNARD, Cincinnati, Ohio. PRICE 12% CENTS. not. _ ,<^ p w . GZ,EASCN^ PXCTGRIAiL DRAWING-ROOM COMPANION. A RECORD >FTJHE * r A! 1 'IF L AND USEEUL }N ART. Jt . Each FTP*.V- is beautifully niustrat omis , ' *chcs, am' ' CM LY PAPER, i i i ' .&MSInvur!i;lly in ad van ;3CRIBE*. >py | ; S4 oo " - - - iish- ty U ob- : | THE MINOR DRAMA. No. XXXIII. COCKNEYS IN CALIFOKNIA "21 flirrt of olirtn pporttmitg." IN O If X ACT BY J. STIRLING ^COYNE, ESQ ALSO THE STAGE BUSINESS, CASTS OF CHARACTERS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, ETC. NEW YORK : WM. TAYLOR & CO. (S FRENCH. GENERAL AGENT,) I'll NA*SAT:-STUF.KT. CORNKTI or SPRUCE. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Adelphi. National. Olympic. Broadwuy. A*tiurnyChi$iMT. Munyard. Mr. W.Chapman.Mr. Conover. Mr. Hadaway Jacob Bunker... " P. Bedford. Pardey. Nickiuson. " E. Shaw. The Monltcy " Mitchenson. " Colladine. Mons. Wiethoff. Walter Ciiffint.. Woodward. Mast. Chapman. Mast. Edwards. Miss Wallis. Peter " Lindon- Mr. Seymour. Mrs. CMffint. . . .Mrs.F.Matthews.Mrs.G. Cnapman,Miss Clarke. Mrs. Watts. Jvlina Miss Turner. Miss Miles. Miss Carman. COSTUMES. ANTHONY CHIFFINS. Nankeen trowsers, long white waistcoat, black short skirted coat, small white hat, long haired black wig. JACOB BUNKER. Large brown trowsers, high boots, canvass frock, black belt blue handkerchief, red wig, glazed hat. THE MONKEY. WALKER CHIFFINS Nankeeu dress, straw hat. PETER. Canvass trowsers, red shirt, straw hat. MRS. CHIFFINS. Travelling plain dress, straw bonnet, black silk shawl. JULINA. Slave's dress. EXITS AND ENTRANCES. R. means Right; L. Left; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door 8. B. Second Entrance; U. B. Upper Entrance; M. D. Middle Door RELATIVE POSITIONS. R., means Right; L.,Ltft} C., Centre ; R. C., Right of Centre; L. C., Left of Centre. COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. ACT I. SCENE I. A wild woody scene in California. CHIPFINS holloas outside, and then enters, R., carrying on his back his son, WALKER, a warming pan in either hand ; he is followed by MRS. CHIFFINS, who carries an infant in her arms. Chif. Hol-loa-a-a ! Ah ! r.obody hears me nobody's coming! It's useless holloaing any longer. There's not an omnibus, a cab, or even a wandering policeman to be found in this desolate place. Mrs. Chiffins, my dear, it's my opinion that we're all lost every individual of this interesting little group. Mrs. C. Oh ! dear Chiffins, don't say so. Chif. It's a melancholy fact, though. We're so utterly lost, that I doubt if that active and intelligent officer, For- rester, armed with a search warrant could possibly find us in this forest, Mrs. C. Why don't you shout again, then 1 Chif. I've been shouting, Mrs. Chiffins, till I have nearly shouted the last particle of voice out of my manly bosom, Mrs. C. Then, what it to become of us ? Chif. That's precisely what I don't know. Mrs. C. For my part, 1 wish I had never quitted my little shop at Hoxton. Chif. Hah ! You have no spirit of enterprise, Mrs. Chiffins ; you would have been quite content to spend your life dispensing brandy-balls, peg-tops, gingerbread aiid ballads, to the rising generation of Hoxtoa. 4 COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. Mrs. C. Aye, that I would ! and it would have been better if you had stuck to your school, too. Chif. Academy ! Mrs. Chiffins say my academy, for the instruction of ingenious youth in the polite arts of read- ing, writing, turning the mangle, and other branches of useful knowledge. The tree of knowledge is a fine tree, no doubt; but you know I've been digging at its roots for ever so long, without getting any fruits from it, and so I'm determined to try my luck at the gold diggings in Cali- fornia, where the precious dust is so abundant, that any body may have a warming-pan full for the scooping of it up. Mrs. C. Ah ! Chiffins, they've been throwing that pre- cious dust in your eyes. For my part, I don't think there's any such place in the world as Californy. Chif. What ! would you go to set your face again the map of the world ? Do you suspect Guy's Geography, ma'am? Mrs. C. I suspect its only fit for Guys. Chif. Mrs. Chiffins, my dear, I'm ashamed of your geo- graphical incempetency. I'll venture to say, that my youngest pupil, little Cicero Chiffins, who reposes on your maternal bosom, could tell you where California is if he could speak. However, here we are ; and if we hadn't lost Zekiel Flum, our Yankee guide, this morning, in the forest, I calculate we should have been now somewhere in the neighborhood of the gold diggings. Mrs. C. I shouldn't have cared so much for the Yankee, if he hadn't carried off our mule and baggage along with him. Oh dear! I'm really able to walk no further! little Cicero is such an uncommonly solid child of his age Chif. And his brother, Walker, who is three sizes larger, has nearly broken the paternal back. D'ye hear me. Walker, what part of speech are you, sir 1 Wai. A noun substantive, father. Chif. Very good ! and what is a noun substantive ? Wai. Any thing that stands by itself. Chif. Then you had better dismount, and stand by yourself, for I can carry you no longer. (drops the bo$ from his back.} Mrs. C. Chiffins ! Chiffins '.are you a father? COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. 5 Chif. Father ! A word which signifies to be to da and to suffer Yes I certainly believe I am a father, But though I've got the feelings of a father, I havn't got the back of an elephant. Mrs. C. Ah, well ! I dare say our sufferings will soon be over. [CAPTAIN BUNKER heard singing at a distance. Chif. Hark ! Isn't that a yoice ? My ears don't deceive me. Mrs. C. No you may trust to your long ears, Chiffins it is a voice. Chif. And one that I have heard before. Hey ! I see the California nightingale moving this way through the trees. [CAPTAIN BUNKER sings without, L. SONG. AIR " Soldier Laddie. 9 ' Sell you tables sell your chain ; Sell your mangles Sell your mangles ; Sell your feather beds who cares? We'll have spangles We'll have spangles ! Chif. Goodness ! No it never can be ! my old friend Captain Jacob Bunker, of " The Uncle of the Thames," Gravesend steamer ! C. Captain Bunker! A magnificent man, Mrs. Chiffins! with a heart in which the philanthropy of at least half a dozen Bene- volent Societies has been bottled off. Enter CAPTAIN BUNKER, L. (Singt.) Come with shovel, pick, and spade, Pan and ladle ; pan and ladle ; D'gging gold's your only trade ! Bring a cradle ; bring a cradle. Chif. Hah ! It if the gallant Bunker himself. Bun. Hey! stop her! who hails Bunker? Hollo! hollo! Chiffin's, my boy! You in California? Mrs. C. Oh, Captain ! this is a blessed meeting? If you hadn't come, we should have perished here, like the babes in the wood. Chif. My dear friend ! Allow me ! (shakes BUNKER'S 6 COCKNEYS IX CALIFORNIA. hand.} I may truly say I'm delighted to sec you. Boon long Jr. this magnificent country, captain ? Hun. A nout six weeks. Cluf. Six weeks ! What a heap of gold you must have scraped up in the time ! how many bushels a day, on the average ? />/*. Why a not many. Confidentially speaking, I've been out of luck ; and havn't hit on the right dig- gins yet but never mind \sings\ "there's a good time coming/' and plenty of gold but very little to eat. CUtf. Oh ! well I'm not particular about my victuals. Mrs. C. Ah, Chinins! I told you how it would be What's to become of our poor babes now? we might as well have sent them to the Union. Bun. Hollo! hollo! Don't hang out signals of distress so soon; I've got a stock of provisions in my hut, a little way up the valley ; as long as they last you're welcome to shate them. Chif. There spoke the gallant Bunker, once the darling of his ciew ! Bun. Turn ahead, and away we goes, then! C/tif. Come, Mrs. C. t exert your native energies, my angel ! anil you, Walker, follow in the footsteps of youi parental pa. TRIO. Am. ' Twos in the merry month of May" Bun. Nobody at homo will stay. Digging fur gnM is nil llio Fun ; Wo shoulder our spades and march away, And oil* to Calilorny run. Tlio Yankoo trader leaves his store, The Nigger swears he'll work no more; Even llio thief gives up his priggins To try Ills hand in those hero diggins. (Together.) Nobody now, &c. Mrs. C. The ladies, too, as I am told. To show that they are not at all afraid, Are shorily to bo enrolled The Culiforninn Gold Brigade. The laundresses the troop will join, And lend their hand in the washing lino; While every housemaid in llio muster Will provo herself a rare good duster! Nobody now. tVx% COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. Chif. Three old women the oiio was Inme, The second was deaf, the third nigh blind, To follow the men they were all game. And vow'd they'd none of 'em slay behind. Our wills are good but alack-a-day ! At digging gold, we'll have a try lor it; For where there's a will there's always a way, And we'll dig a bit, although we die Cor it ! Nobody now, &c. [Exeunt, BUNKER, CHIFFINS, WALKER, and Mus : CIIIFFINS, L.] SCENE II. Another part of tJtc mountains. At back, the river is seen rushing down a mountain gorge amongst rocks and trees. Nearer to the spectator, i..,a small hut composed of branches of trees ; on the same side, a Jtam- mock, slung under a tree. On u. a fire on the ground, orcr which hangs a camp kettle, ssupended from a rude triangle. English, Spanish, American, Indian, Mexican, and Negro people, employed in the rarious operatio?is of digging and washing the earth for gold. PETER, a Negro man, u., JULINA, his wife, sitting L. with black child. Diggers come forward, with wooden bowls and little baskets containing gold ; the others collect around them, and the new comers exhibit lumps of gold. CHORUS OF GOLD DIGGKRS. Gold, gold, gold! The yellow ore we find ; In love, in peace, in war, 'Tis gold that rules mankind. Dig. dig, dig ! And turn the teeming soil. For heaps of shining gold, Shall well reward our toil. SOLO. The soldier spills his blood ; The sailor ploughs the'main ; The student wastes the lamp ; The precious ore to gain. Chorus. Dig, dig, dig ! &c. At the end of the c.horus all the gold diggers resume their occupations, and go off gradually at dif- ferent sides. PETER and JULINA remain. 8 COCKXKVS IN CALIFORNIA. Pet. Jul ina ! Jul. What am dat, Pcta ? Pet. It strike me berry hard dis'ere colour gen'lman dam fool, to stay for nigga help any longci wit massa Hunker. What for 1 dig for him when ebbcry body in Callumfornia dig for himself? Jnl. J Jerry true, Peia berry true ! Pel. Tell you what, Julina ! You and me go to the ribber, and wash out a sack of gold dust on our own ac- count. Jul. Oh! golly! Peia ! dat would be nice! But if Massa Bunka find out, won't he be mad ? Pet. Dam Massa Bunker! dis child can pick more gold dan him. Jul. But you know, Peta, he hire you for fifty dollars a month. Pet. Hi, hi, hi, hi ! Fifty dollars paid in advance hi, hi, hi ! Darn Massa Bunker! come along, Julina ! Jul. Oh ! slop bit ; what am do wid lilly Peta ? Pet. Why, put him to sleep in de hammock ; he'll li dar, safe as a coon in a holler tree. {^VtVM jntit cJtilA into hammock.} Bless him, how hansome he grow ; dc wool on his little head curl so tight he can't shut his eyes. Now come along, Julina. [PETP.U takes a wooden bowl, and exit with Julina, i,. As soon as they are gone a monkey descends from a tree, L., goes to the hammock and takes out the child, icit/i which he escapes as CutpriNS enters, followed by BUNKI:U, MRS. CiupriNs, and WAI.KKR, L. CJrif. Well, I declare, a man can never sec the world at home. Why, this beats Hornsey Wonl all to nothing. Hun. Here we are, my boy, on my settlement ! That's the river Sacramento and there arc the gold-seekers Yankees, Mexicans, Niggers, Spaniards all digging for gold on the banks. Chif. What a prodigious run for gold on your banks ! Bun. And there's my hammock, ma'am, under that gum tree, where I turn in at night. Mr*. C. Dear me, Captain, 'tis so small! 1 should think you could scarcely turn in it. Bun. Well, ma'am, it is certainly rather narrow for a COCKNEYS IS CALIFORNIA. 9 man of my tonnage, but I made it so on purpose to dodge the rau&quitoes; for when I turn in they must turn oat; there ain't room for more than half-a-dozen *f them to lodge along with me. Cli'f. (utter* an exclamation of sudden pain,) Oh ! oh ! what's that ? Bun. Stop stop ! it's one of them (catdits a mus- quito on Ckijfin* neck) only a small fellow not much larger than a wasp. Some of them run as big as sparrow* f. Musquitoes as big as sparrows! Ban. Regular nippers, my boy ! that could draw blood from an anchor fluke ; and the worst, of them is, they 'I never touch a seasoned settler while there's a stranger's skin to be bad for the biting. Ckf. Heaven preserve our tender skins! what's to become of us, if we're to be served up as a banquet for these Californian vampires ! Mrs. C. (who has stated herself on a bank, R^ starts up, exclaiming] Oh ! oh ! oh ! Captain look there ! what is it ! that little shiny thing wriggling through the dry leaves ? Ban. Oh ! ma 1 am, don't be alarmed it's only a green snake ; we make eel pies of 'em in these parts and werry good imitations of the real Twit'uams they are. Mrs. C. Green snakes ! eel pies ! a- ah ! I could never abide them. C.'iif. 1 hope, Captain, we shan't have many of these visitors here. Bun. Oh ! nothing to speak of- only a few scorpions aud toads, and venomous spiders. You must keep a sharp look oat, too, in your shoes, when yon get np in die morn- ing, for the centipedes them chaps with a hundred feet, Cbf. A hundred feet in my shoes! Ecod! I don't pity them if they've got corns among them. Bun (caUing} Jnlina ! Dash my paddles, where can the black wench be ? I hope she hasn't left me to cook my own dinner. e\ hf goes to the kettle which is on the fire ; takes the crow out of it, and puts the stone in place of it in the kettle. Hfi then scampers off with the bird. Enter MRS. CHIFFINS, L., with a pitcher of water. Mrs. C. Walker '.Walker ! I'll lay my life the good for -nothing boy has fallen asleep again \lonks about.] No, he hasn't. Bless me ! he's not here. Where can h-s be 1 If he should have strayed away into the forest \calls] Walker, Walker ! Oh dear, oh dear ; what terri- ble news this will be for poor Chiffins, when he returns ! Enter BUNKER, R. s. F^ Oh ! Captain ; I'm in such a fright. My boy, poor little Walker,--is missing ! Have you seen anything of him ? Bun. [wiping his eyes.] No, ma'am ! Mrs. C. Good gracious What's the matter with you ? There are tears in your eyes. Is it the boy ? Bun. [weeping. J No, ma'am. Mr*. C. Then it's Anthony ! it's Chiffins ! it's my husband ! something has happened to him. Tell me all! Bun. \blubbering.] Poo, hoo, hoo, ho-o-o-o ! Mrs. C. I know 'tis something dreadful. Why don't you speak ] Bun. [blubbering.] Poo, hoo, hoo, ho-o-o-o ! Mrs. C. Captain ! I'm a woman of robust mind, and can bear to hear the worst. I feel a something that tells me I am I am now now Bun. [sobbing.] An interesting widow, ma'am. Mrs. C. Oh, Captain Bunker! That is a blow! Bun. So it is, ma'am But you mustn't give way, Mrs. Chiffins! you must keep the steam up, ma'am. .Mrs. C. Tell me how the fatal accident happened. Bun. Why ma'am it's a short, but. melancholy tale, ma'am. The late Mr. Chiffins, and myself, had hit upon a n-ice fresh spot on the river bank, a little way above the Big Falls, ma'am and were digging, and washing trs- COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. 13 mendous, when Mr. Chiffins, in the enthusiasm of finding a grain of gold, slipped from the bank, ma'am, into the river ; and before you could say Jack Robinson the poor fellow was caught by the rapids, and carried bang over the Falls, like a pine log, ma'am. Mrs. C. Oh ! Captain Bunker! if it had been in Hox- ton, I could have borne my bereavement with pleasure I mean, with resignation but in a foreign land, what is to give me comfort ] Bun. Comfort ! [aside.] 1 didn't think of that ! Ja- cob Bunker never saw lovely woman in distress without bearing up to her assistance. Dash my paddles ! Mrs. Chiffins, I'll marry you myself. Mrs. C. You, Captain ? you can't be serious ; you can never mean such a thing. Bun. What Jacob Bunker says, he means, ma'am ; and what he means, ma'am, he does, ma'am ! so I say again, I'll many you. Mrs. C. Don't Captain Bunker ! pray don't. Bun. I will ma'am. Gravesend expects every man will do his duty ! whereby you being a lonely widow, it's my duty to make you happy. Mrs. C. Ah ! I shall never be happy again never ! at least for some time. Oh, my -excuse me Bunker ! Bun. [aside.} She calls me her Bunker ! Mrs. C. You can't know my feelings you never lost a husband. Bun No, ma'am ; I can't say as I ever did. Mrs. C. Poor Chiffins ! I never knew his value until now, that I have lost him. [weeps.] Bun. Keep up the steam ma'am keep up the steam I've got a little cordial here that will do you good \fetches brandy bottle from hut, and pours out brandy into a tin cup,} Now, ma'am try the least drop of this re- vi\er. Mrs. C. [takes cup, and drinks.] Oh ! Captain this is indeed consoling! Bun. Try another drain, ma'an. Mi*s. C. Not for the world, Captain ! [She holds the cup ; Captain pours more in. Bun. [drinks from the bottle.} Ah, that is the real ren- ovator ! splendid brandy, but I've chalked " PIS'N" on the 14 COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. bottle, to keep the pirates that cruize about these parts from tapping it [replaces bottle in hut.} Mrs. C. Captain Bunker, you must feel that situated as we are, it would not be proper for me to remain here. Bun. Why, ma'am, that's a delicate point I've been turning in my mind ; and I've just recollected there's a village four or five miles from here, where you may re- main for a few days, till we get some account of the boy, who, I daresey, has fallen in with some of the digging parties. I'll convoy you there myself, ma'am ; and as I've got confoundly tired of the place, I'll bid farewell to my trim built cottage for ever. Mrs. C. Oh, Captain! you're our only protector now ; so I throw myself and innocent babe altogether on your hands. Bun. Thank you, ma'am. I feel the weight of the compliment; whereby, I think we'd better start directly. Mrs. C. Whenever you please, Captain. Bun. Avast though ! I must first write a note to all in- quiring friends. \he takes a board near the door of hut, and writes with chalk u.pon it ; reads while he writes. " Sailed from these diggins Captain Bunker, and Mrs. Chiffins D. I. O." There's my ticket. [Mrs. Chiffins lias taken the child out of the hammock ; Bunker hangs the board against the hut.] Now then, Mrs. Chiffins, turn ahead ! and away we goes, ma'am ! [Exeunt, BUNKER and MRS. CHIFFINS, L. u. E. The momkey appears carrying the black child, which he places in the hammock, and escapes. CHIFFINS is heard outside, calling " Where's the gallant Bun- ker?" He then enters, without a hat, torn coat, his clothes and hair wet. Chif. Where where's the gallant Bunker 1 Where's xny Maria Jane Matilda ? What an aquatic spectacle I've made of myself!- Hey! Where's Mrs. Chiffins? why is she not here to receive her dripping husband to her arms t [Sees the writing on the board takes it.] What's this ? [reflds.] " Sailed from these diggings : Captain Bunker and Mrs. Chiffins." Oh, yes ! 'tis as plain as chalk can be ! \reads.] " Captain Bunker and Mrs. Chiffins D. T. O." [Drops the board.] Oh ! oh ! it's all over ! I'm COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. . J5 a deserted mary, as the French say. The only frier d I had in this quarter, has carried off my better half; the Gravesend Sea Serpent has absconded with my Maria Jane Matilda, and confesses his crime upon this board, in chnlk. They've taken the children, too. [sees child in hammock.] Hey! no they've left little Cicero; he's here. [snatches vp child, and starts back horrified, when he sees its black faoe;] The blessed image of its pa it s ! Ha ! oh ! Day and Martin ! what's this ? Cicero turned as black as a beetle ! Hah ! some dark business has been going on here ! this isn't my child on the face of it. I disown it ! I disclaim the young imposter ! its not mine ! there there ! f thrusts it under the clothes in the ham?nock.] Oh, dear ! what is to become of me ? I'm sorry, now, I didn't let myself be drowned ! I oughtn't to have shouted for help when I was in the water nor I wouldn't, if I had known what was before me. However, its not too late to put a full stop to my melancholy existence. I'll commit suicide ! nothing shall prevent it. I'll blot myself out of Nature's copy-book, and rub the name of Anthony Chif- fins from the slate of life. But how ? Suppose I throw myself over the Falls again. No ! I tried that once, and I didn't like it. If I knew the private residence of some hungry bear, I'd call on him about supper time. [search- ing about.] or, if I could only find a piece of rope, I might end my woes in a noose. [goes to hut, and finds the brandy-bottle.] What's this hey ] [reads.] P-i-z-n, " Pis'n !" Ha ! poison ! Kind fortune, my fate is in my hand ! Think of your wrongs, Chiffins ! think of your wife bolted ! your clothes lost, and your warming-pan gone ! Hah ! I'm wound up to desperation ! I wonder how much of the mixture makes a dose. Never mind \takesa mouthful out of the bottle.} 'Pon my life ! I rather like the flavor of the deadly potion. I'll make all sure by another pull. [drinks.] There ! I'm done for now ! I've swallowed enough to poison a buffalo ! Oh, Maria Jane Matilda, you've done a pretty job of work ! [tings, half crying SONG. AIR " Jeannette and Jeannot." My wife has run away, and has left me here alone, In the wilds of California, to make my grievous moan ; 16 COCKNEXS IN CALIFORNIA. The salt tears from my eyes trickle down in streams of woe. Maria Jane Matilda, 'twas a shame to use me so Maria Jane Matilda, 'twas a shame to use me so ! [Spoken.] I don't think the deadly potion has begun to take effect yet. No no ! 1 must have another drain ot the baneful beverage. [takes a long draught.] There ! 1 think that's a settler ! [sings, as he gets drunk.] Oh ! womankind is false as it always used to be ; And friendship's only gammon for so it proved to me ; So I've drunk a pint of piz'u but I fear 'tis rather slow. Maria Jane Matilda, 'twas a shame to use me so Maria Jane Matilda, 'twas a shame to use me so ! Well, its really very extraordinary I don't feel a bit the worse for what I've taken. The only sensation I'm con- scious of, is a sort of merry-go-round in my head and a remarkable inclination in my feet to start off in a polka. Ha ! ha ! ha ! [ dances a few steps.] No, no it won't do ! This levity at such an awful moment is really disgraceful. Hie ! I'm not gone yet though I ought to be. What, if I can't go what, if I won't go ? Oh, dear ! perhaps I'm poison proof! No 1 feel I'm going now yes, yes oh, dear my head my legs! ha! ha! ha! ha ! Oh ! Maria Jane Matilda, how could you how could you desert your own Chiffins, and forsake the buz- zum that beat for only you ? Hie ! There ! I'm going going gone ! [slips down.] Hooray ! I wish I was back in Hoxton, thrashing the boys. Order ! silence ! First class come up for punishment ! Enter BUNKER, L. u. E. Bun. Dash my paddles ! I forgot my brandy-bottle, and I can't leave without it. Chif. [Perceiving him.] Hah ! the villain Bunker ! the sea-serpent of the Thames ! \gtts up.] Hah ! assas- sin ! fresh-water pirate ! you are come to dare the ven- geance of your injured friend ! Bun. Hollo ! hollo ! Chiffins ! Dash my piecious paddles ! here's a go ! Chif. Aye ! Chiffins stands before you in the agonies of death, sir, with vengeance in his heart ami a bottle in his hand. The same fatal weapon shall destroy us both There ! [throws the bottle at BUNKER, who avoids itJ COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. 17 Bun. Avast there ! what does it all mean 1 Chif. Revenge! [he collars BUNKER, and they strug- gle.] I'll have it your life, base Bunker your life ! [MRS. CHIFFINS runs in L. u. E. she screams when she sees CHIFFINS.] Mrs. C. Heavens ! it is it is my Chiffins ! Bun. [ Flinging him off.} Don't go near him, ma'am ! he's mad stark mad ! Chif. No don't come near me. Mrs. C. Oh, goodness ! We thought you were drown- ed, Anthony. Chif. Well, ma'am, so I was ; but not finally drowned. Mrs. C. Oh, never mind, so as you are safe, dear! [goes to embrace him he pushes her back.] Oh, Anthony ! Chif. No no never ! The heart that once truly loved never forgets that you bolted with the base Bun- ker! Bun. The base Bunker ! Mrs. C. Did you say bolted, Chiffins ? Chif. Yes, ma'am; "bolted" was the word. Havn't I the confession of the destroyer of my happiness engrossed there in chalk ? [points to the board.] Mrs. C. Why, I heard you were drowned, and as L couldn't stay in this horrid place, Captain Bunker kindly offered to protect me to the nearest village. Bun. Yes, Mrs. Chiffins sailed under my convoy. Ja- cob Bunker only did his duty by lovely woman in distress. Chif. [To BUNKER.] My dear friend ! allow me to call you once more the gallant Bunker ! [shakes his hand warmly.] Only you die, and leave a widow, and see if I won't do as much for her. Mrs. C. Now, Anthony dear, are you satisfied ] Chif. Perfectly : that is, no no -no ! There's a little ebony angel yonder in the hammock. [BUNKER takes the black child out of hammock, as PETER and JULINA enter.] That's not our little Cicero? JuL No, sar, dat lilly Peta ! [takes child from BUNKER.] Dis nigga lady tank you berry much, sar. [MRS. CHIFFINS runs to meet WALKER, who is entering with the child, L. u. E. Chif. But where's our precious babe ? Mrs. C. Here he comes, with Walker ; the good-for 18 COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. nothing little scamp strayed away, and where do you think we found him ? but in the river, washing for gold dust in his new boots. Chif. Then all my troubles are over ! hold, no ! I i'orgot, in the excitement of the moment, the horrible fact that I'm poisoned. ' Poisoned! Chif. Yes ; when I thought you had betrayed me, I swallowed a deadly potion enough to kill a dozen buffa- loes. I'm in my last, agonies this moment, though I don't feel them. Oh, Maria Jane Matilda, receive your doting husband's parting breath ! [he embraces her.] Mts. C. Why, Chiffins, your parting breath has a strong smell of brandy. Chif. Yes, my angel, the fatal draught was very nice. Bvn. Where did you get it, my boy ? Chif. Oh, there in that bottle I found it yonder and oh! Bun. [Picks up bottle.] Why, dash my paddles, this is my brandy-bottle ! I chalked " 1'iziv" upon it, to keep the fellows who cruise about here from meddling with it. Cheer up, my boy, there was nothing worse in it than brandy. Chif. Brandy ! oh ! my real Cogniac life-protector ! What a relief your words are to me ! Embrace the gal- lant Bunker, my dear ! Walker, you ungrateful vaga- bond, why are you not on your knees, sir, thanking the preserver of your pa's precious life 1 Mrs. C. Oh, dear ! Anthony, I've got so many frights and turns since I came into this horrid country, that I know I shall never survive another day in it. Chif. Well, my dear, I'm disgusted with the place my- self, and I say, let us return to Hoxton directly. Bun. And I'll go with you, my boy. Chif. Come along, then! "there's a good time com- ing," Captain ; and the weather is favorable for going with half a coat. Have you got our little relative pro- nouns all right, Mrs. Chiffins? Mrs. C. Quite right, Anthony. Chif. Aqd the Californian turkey ? Don't forget the turkey ! COCKNEYS IN CALIFORNIA. 19 Mr*. C. [ Uncovering the kettle.] Oh, gracious ! the tur- key's gone ! All. Gone! Mrs. C. Yes ; and whosoever nas taken it, has left this stone in the kettle. [takes the stone out of kettle.} Chif. Inhuman monster ! Bun. [ Taking the stone. \ Why, dash my paddles, this i* a lump of gold ! All. Gold ! Mrs. C. Who ever could have put it there ? Chif. That's no business of ours. I always told you that luck would come to us in a lump at last, and here it is. Bun. Now, then, ring the bell, and away we goes again ! Chif. Stop ! I must make a slight alteration in your card [fakes the board.} Where's your steel-pen, Cap- tain ? [ BUNKER gives him a piece of chalk. \ " Sailed from these diggins : Captain Bunker [writes.} Mr. and Mrs. Chiffins, family, and suite.; P. S. And don't mean to come back ever again." Now move on, Captain! The DIGGERS, male and female, enter at every side. Bun. Hold on, Chiffey, my boy ! here come our friends from the diggins. Good-bye good-bye, lads arid lasses J I'm going to seize the golden opportunity of bidding fare- well to Californy ; but, before we start, let us finish ofl with Everybody's Independent and Grand National Cal- ifornian Fandango. Dance of Characters and Gold Diggers. CURTAIN DESCENDS. M, 'BAM ' . . . A MA, : series v .ilh a .u.. JB. ^ j Memoir of 0.TV 7?. Ink -urtr, Wcatherco VOL. til. A 7. The So fsre. i Portrait |; VK. Volume*, MODERN STANDARD DRAMA, Price 12 1-2 Cents each.Bound falumeS) $1,00. VOI,. 1. VOL. V. VOL. IX. 1. Ion. 33. A New Way to Pay 65. liOve. 2. Fazio. 3 The Lady of Lyons. 4. Richelieu. 5. the Wife. Old Debts. 34. Look BeforeYou Leap. 35. King John. 35. The Nervous Man. 66. As You Like It. 67. The Elder Brother. 68. Werner. 69. Oisiopus. 6. The Honey Moon. 7. The School for Scan- 37. Damon and Pytliias. 38. The Clandestine Mar- 70. Town and Country 71. Ring Lear.; dal. riajre. 72. Blue Devils.' 8. Money. With a Portrait and Memoir of Mrs. J. ti. 39. William Tell. 40. The Day AAer the Wedding. With a Portrait and Metitoir oj Mrg. SHAW. MO WATT. With a Portrait and VOL. X. VOL. II. Memoir of O COLMAffi the Eldtr. 73. Henry VIII. 74. Married and Single. '9. The Stranger. 10. Grandfather White- head. 11. Richard HI. 12. Love's Sacrifice. 13. The Gamester. VOL VI. 41. Speed the Plough. 42. Romeo and Juliet. 43. Feudal Times. 44. Charles the Twelfth. 75. Ilenry IV. 76. Paul Pry. 77. Guy Mannefing. 78. Sweethearts &, Wires. 79. The Serious Family. 80. She Stoop* to Cos- 14. A Cure tor the Heart- ache. 15. The Hunchback. 16. Don Cicsar De Basaa. WH A a Portrait and Me- moir oj Mr. CHARLES JtfiJA. 45. The Bridal. 46. The Follies of a Night. 47. The Iron Chest. 48. Faint Heart Never Wu Fair Lady. Fftlh a Portrait and Me- moir of Sir E.BVLWER LYTTON. quer,_ VOL XI. 81. Julius Csesar. 83. Vicar ol Wakel3el