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Copyright, 1921, By SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY (INCOBPOBATED) TO THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS OF AMERICA TO WHOM IS ENTRUSTED THE TASK OF MOULDING THEIR COUNTRY'S FUTURE THROUGH MOULDING HER CITIZENS CONTENTS I THE PHYSICAL BASIS OF CHARACTER PAGE A Healthy Heritage 3 Preparation for Motherhood .10 Health Habits 19 Proper Nourishment 28 Cleanliness 37 II EARLY HABIT FORMING Begin in Babyhood 47 Establish Right Habits 54 Direct the Will 63 Control the Emotions 74 Cultivate Self-Reliance ........ 83 in GROWTH THROUGH PLAY Children Need Play 95 Guide the Play of Children 102 The Make-Believe of the Child 108 Constructive Play 115 Cooperative Play 122 Contents TV GROWTH THROUGH STUDY _ PAGE Train the Senses 129 Make the Imagination Serviceable 138 Studies and Life 148 Effective Thinking 156 Develop Self-Expression ........ 166 V GROWTH THROUGH WORK Make Work Interesting 179 Train the Child to Use Materials 188 Train Eye, Hand, and Judgment 197 Develop Power 202 VI THE CHILD AND HIS VOCATION The Right Choice of a Life Work 213 Why Children Leave School 221 Untrained Boys and Girls 230 Training for Home-Making 238 The Drone and the Worker 247 VII THE RELIGIOUS EDUCATION OP THE CHILD The Religion of a Child 259 Religion and the Home 269 Religious Education 276 Religion Is a Personal Power 284 Religion Is a Social Power 290 THE PHYSICAL BASIS OF. CHARACTER CHARACTER TRAINING IN CHILDHOOD A HEALTHY HERITAGE In the old tale of the Sleeping Beauty, all the fairies gathered around the cradle to be- stow their gifts upon the newborn princess. But you remember that the royal parents had neglected to invite one fairy, who in re- venge, laid a curse upon the innocent baby — a curse which fell upon her when she had attained the first bloom of girlish beauty. This story, or some variation of it, is found in every language, for it is based upon a universal truth — the truth that we all come into this world with certain gifts and certain defects. We may cultivate the gifts, or neglect them ; we may overcome the defects or we may yield to them and bring 4 Character Training in Childhood the inherited curse upon us. The Life Force metes out to each one his heritage, for him to invest or to squander, as he will. In the old Scottish law, the word " heri- tage " was used to mean property handed down to a man from his father, as distinct from property which the man himself ob- tained by purchase or conquest. So, the word nowadays is used to mean all those tendencies of body, mind and temperament, all those " family traits " which are born in a man, as distinct from those traits which he himself acquires during his journey through this world. In the case of any one individual, it is often extremely difficult to discover whether a certain trait is inborn or acquired. John's violent temper may be inherited from his father, or it may be mere imitation of his father. His love of music may be an inheritance from his mother's family, or it may be due to his having heard good music from his earliest infancy. So interwoven are our inheritance and our acquisitions A Healthy Heritage 5 that often even a parent cannot say which is which in his own child. And yet it is most important that parents, actual and prospective, should understand the law of heredity, in its main aspects. It is vitally important that they should invite all the good fairies to preside over the birth of their child, and that they should not un- wittingly, like the royal pair in the fairy tale, bring a curse on their baby's innocent head. In the first place, since the child is formed from the germ cells of father and mother, and since we know that each human being is born with his quota of germ cells and does not add to their number, during his life, it follows that the child cannot inherit any trait which was acquired by either parent. He can inherit only such traits as were, in turn, inherited by his parents from their parents. For instance, generations of Chinese women have acquired deformed feet, from the practice of binding them in infancy, yet 6 Character Training in Childhood Chinese babies are born with perfect feet. In many savage tribes, it is the custom to pierce the ears or nose, yet no child is born so. An industrious scientist once cut off the tails of many, many generations of rats, but the baby rats always came into the world with as long tails as ever. No parent need fear to hand down to his children anv affliction which he himself did not inherit. If a man is blinded in an acci- dent, or made deaf by scarlet fever, it can- not affect his children, for the first great law of heredity is that acquired characteristics cannot be inherited. A second great law is that any innate char- acteristic possessed by both parents is doubly liable to be passed on to the child. If both father and mother are extremely nervous, the child will probably be so. If there is a tendency to epilepsy on both sides of the family, the danger is very great that some of the children will develop it. A case has never been known where two feebleminded parents had a normal child. THE BIRTH RIGHT Definite laws govern the production of crops and human beings. Better seeds; better soil; better crops. Better parents; better homes-, better children. •» 4v^ The most valuable crop; the children. Every child has the righi to be well born. A Health?/ Heritage 7 A third fact that should be more generally known is that certain defects or tendencies to disease are especially liable to be handed down to one 's children. No one should have children whose family shows a marked tend- ency to feeblemindeclnes, insanity, epilepsy, St. Vitus' Dance, or deaf mutism. The af- fliction may skip a generation but is almost certain to crop out again. It is estimated that eighty per cent, of feeblemindedness is hereditary. What an awful responsibility rests upon any human being who, by marry- ing a normal member of a mentally defective family, helps to pass on the defective seed to future generations. The venereal diseases, syphilis and gonor- rhea, are not, strictly speaking, hereditary, — that is, they are not passed down by the germ cells, sometimes skipping a generation, as is the case with epilepsy, insanity, etc. The venereal diseases may, however, infect the unborn child. Thousands of innocents are yearly slaughtered because, before birth, they caught the infection from their moth- 8 Character Training in Childhood ers, — mothers often innocent also, but in- fected by a diseased husband. No more aw- ful blight can fall upon a child than to be fathered by such a man. No more horrible mistake can be made by any girl than to fancy she can help such a man by marry- ing him. No crop in the world is so terrible as that which a youth reaps, for himself and his children, from the sowing of his "wild oats." In our agricultural colleges, we teach the truth concerning the rearing of plants and breeding of cattle, to the end that we may have bumper crops and fine stock. Does it not seem a little strange that not one child in a thousand is ever taught the laws of heredity which apply just as rigidly to human beings as to plants? Is it not odd that we teach our daughters interpretive dancing, that they may be graceful, and per- haps even train them in cookery that they may be practical, while we never show them how loveliness and power or ugliness and A Healthy Heritage 9 death may be passed on by them to their children? There is no question that environment — the things which are around a human be- ing — have a tremendous effect in moulding his character, but it is equally certain that the traits born in a man are enormously im- portant. Good soil can do much, but it can- not quite make up for poor seed. Holmes wittily said that to reform a man you must begin with his grandfather. Simi- larly, the first step in building a child's char- acter is to give him the right sort of parents. And that means not merely loving, wise par- ents, but parents who can give him a Heri- tage of sound health, sound mind and good character. PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD In his book ' ' Expectant Motherhood, ' ' the noted Scotch physician, Dr. J. W. Ballan- tyne, writes, "The building of a ship is more wonderful than the launching of it on its first cruise, the sculpturing of a statue is a greater thing than the unveiling of it; and so the making and growth of the infant in the womb are more momentous than its entrance into the life that follows birth." Not equally momentous, you observe, but "more momentous." How few women real- ize that fact! They make every arrange- ment for the wonderful day when His High- ness, the baby, shall enter the world. They secure the services of doctor and nurse months ahead. They devote hours of time and untold measures of their precious strength to preparing the tiny wardrobe. But how many make the best use of those crucial months during which, in darkness, 10 PRENATAL CARE Birth is not the beginning of life. Prenatal Unpreparedness 5 Poor and insufficient food. Overwork.. Foul Air; \. Worry Nature follows strictly the law of cause and effect jV %i Prenatal , «. Preparedness f. * v 1 "* 3 *?-* Food 1 Sleep. Fresh Air. Happiness At no other period of life is the contribution to the future welfare of the child so important Preparation for Motherhood 11 and far underground as it were, are laid the foundations of the House of Life — that earthly tenement in which the coming soul must pass its days ? The average young mother expecting her first baby, knows next to nothing about the facts or the hygiene of pregnancy and most of what she thinks she knows is false ! For instance, you will hear such a mother say, "I hardly dare to go out. There is a hospital full of wounded soldiers near our house and I'm afraid I might see some dreadful sight that would 'mark' the baby." I have heard otherwise intelligent women talk this sort of nonsense, when every doctor agrees that such "marking" is absolutely impossible. It is true that a severe shock may affect the mother's blood, from which the baby draws his food supply, and may thus be injurious to him — anything which upsets the mother is, in this way, bad for the child. There is, however, no nerve connec- tion between the mother and child. Hence no nervous shock can deform him. In any 12 Character Training in Childhood case, the form of the child's body is perma- nently fixed during the first six weeks of his prenatal life, so that it cannot be altered later. Therefore, tales of an unborn child's being "marked" by a fright to his mother a few weeks before his birth are utterly un- founded. It follows that we must also reject the popular stories of musical prodigies who were made so by their mothers' constant lis- tening to music, and of artists who were moulded by their mothers' gazing on the Sistine Madonna. In no such fashion can we determine what our children shall be. All that any mother can do is to lead a sim- ple, wholesome, happy life during the months of her waiting, and leave the rest to Nature. The young mother is likely to do one of two things. Either, as has been suggested, she gives no thought to laying the founda- tions of health for her baby, or she gives en- tirely too much, fussing over every detail of the day's routine and making a martyr- Preparation for Motherhood 13 dom of what should be a time of happiness. In the first case, you will see her in a stuffy- department store spending her strength in shopping. In the second, you are likely to find her conscientiously "resting" on a sofa all day thinking of and dreading the com- ing ordeal. The past century, the past fifty years even, have taught us a vast amount about moth- ers and babies. The modern doctor knows that since child-bearing is a perfectly nat- ural function, the expectant mother should lead as nearly normal a life as possible — a life that includes plenty of fresh air, as much exercise as she finds comfortable, rather more sleep than usual, simple food, enough light work to keep her occupied, and plenty of happiness. The modern doctor frowns equally upon the washings and house- cleanings that our grandmothers persisted in despite their condition, and the invalidism which so many women nowadays assume as a natural attitude. One of our best obstetricians declares that 14 Character Training in Childhood if a woman's daily life has been hygienic, she need, during pregnancy, change it only very slightly, and should, so far as possible, forget her condition. The matter of diet is one of the most im- portant parts of hygiene for the future mother. In general it may be said that whatever keeps the mother in the best condi- tion will also be best for the child. Diet is always an individual matter. There are cer- tain articles that one person seems to need while they violently disagree with another. However, all doctors agree that the moth- er's food should be simple, nutritious, easily digested, and laxative. She should have plenty of ripe fruit and vegetables, whole wheat or other coarse bread, drink at least three quarts of liquid (mostly water) a day, eat meat but once a day, or less, and avoid cake, candy, sweets, fried food and other "frills." The idea that the mother must "eat for two" is exploded. Dr. J. Morris Slemons, Preparation for Motherhood 15 one of our foremost obstetricians, declares that "For the average woman, it is wiser to take less during pregnancy rather than more, for over-indulgence is apt to lead to indigestion." He also points out that small amounts of food taken five or six times daily are usually better than large meals, as this method lessens the tendency to nausea, espe- cially during the latter months. Fresh air is essential. Open air walks, stopping the minute she begins to tire, sitting warmly wrapped on the porch or in a sunny window, and sleeping on a porch or with wide open windows will ventilate the moth- er's whole system and carry plenty of oxygen into the blood. Light work is very desirable, both for the exercise it gives and because it occupies the mind and prevents "the blues." Do not, however, make the mistake made by a young friend of mine, who was seized with a de- sire to transplant some shrubs and, in lift- ing a heavy pot, brought on a miscarriage. 16 Character Training in Childhood Lifting, stair-climbing, sweeping, running the sewing machine, and all heavy work must be tabooed. Sleep and rest are never so much needed as during pregnancy. Eight to ten hours in bed is none too much and an afternoon nap is an investment that will bear interest in added strength and cheerfulness. The mother should try to plan her work so that she may have frequent rest periods, and should never hurry from one task to an- other, or " drive" herself to finish a piece of work. It is far better that the task should be undone than that she should be ' ' done up. ' ' In the matter of bathing, the best authori- ties advocate a tepid bath each night, just before bedtime, for the skin needs thorough cleansing and the tepid bath is, for most people, a soothing preparation for sound sleep. Concerning clothing there is but little to say except that it should be light, warm, loose, and give support to the abdomen and Preparation for Motherhood 17 breast. Anything that binds or tires the body is most harmful. High heels create bad posture. Let the heels be low and of rubber. If you go through the few paragraphs of advice just given, it is clear that prepara- tion for motherhood is nothing but leading a natural life, with rather more rest and less responsibility than usual. The woman who follows this regime will usually have no complications, but it is always wise to pre- vent these by discovering them in time. Therefore, every mother should see the doc- tor or nurse at frequent intervals, to make sure that all is going as it should. It has been estimated that the loss of in- fant life before birth is even greater than that during the first year of life. And how terrible it is to think that the greater part of this fearful waste could be avoided — not to mention the additional waste in sickness and suffering which comes in later life as the result of this neglect before birth. Blessed is the baby who is given a ' ' square 18 Character Training in Childhood deal," in that he has a heritage of health and that, during the dark and silent months be- fore he enters this world, that heritage is confirmed by the simple, healthful habits of a wise mother. HEALTH HABITS It is an old and trite saying that we are " creatures of habit." Ordinarily the phrase is taken to mean merely that we all do things in certain accustomed ways. But the true meaning of the word "creature" is "that which is created/' so that the phrase really was intended to convey the truth that we are created by habit. I have sometimes thought of man as thrice created, — first by the Life Force which is his inborn heritage, next by the good or evil habits which mould his infancy and child- hood, and last by his own will, which can master habit and may even conquer inherited tendencies. We have spoken already of the child's heritage, and shall talk later of his will. Let us, for a moment, consider those habits which create his health or illness. 19 20 Character Training in Childhood The first habit of all, that which is the basis of all good habits, is regularity. There is a great deal of chatter nowadays about abolishing rules, following the lead of the child's desires, not "tying him down" to set times and tasks — the idea being that we shall thus encourage his individuality and prevent him from becoming a " ma- chine. ' ' I recently met an unusually clever but ex- tremely nervous woman who had been brought up on this theory — or rather, had grown up in the practice of irregularity. She told me that, as a child, she had never had a regular bedtime, but had sat around the open fire with her seniors listening to their talk until she fell asleep. Meals were served "when they were ready." The life of the whole household, on a charming south- ern plantation, drifted along haphazard, ac- cording to the whims of its members. She ended her reminiscences by saying, "We children all grew up as nervous as could be, and I've always thought it was largely I *.. EARLY HABIT FORMING Habits begin to be formed, from birth. Regular feeding. sleeping and play establish right habits. "Pacifiers" "soothing-syrups!' etc. start self- indulgent habits. The Proper Balance REGULAR CARE & LETTING ALONE gives the child a chance for Self Activity and Self Control Future Health and Character. Health Habits 21 due to there being no system and no regular- ity about our childhood." I am not denying that regularity may be carried to the extreme of cast-iron rigidity, but nowadays the trend is all the other way and it is a trend very dangerous to the health of any child, and, more subtly and indirectly, to his character also. To be regular is not to be like a machine, it is to be like Nature herself. The planets revolve in regular orbits; day and night, summer and winter, come and go with never varying regularity. So with our bodies: — the heart, if it be healthy, beats with a meas- ured, regular throb; the breath comes and goes steadily ; at a certain age certain pow- ers develop, at a later age, others — all is regular, ordered, rhythmic. It is only when we are ill that the breath becomes spasmodic, the heart-beat irregular, and tranquil regu- larity gives place to disorder and pain. Therefore the first and most fundamental of all habits is that of regularity. Let the baby be fed, bathed and laid down for his 22 Character Training in Childhood nap or night's sleep at the same hour each day. There is nothing so unsettling to a child's health and happiness as being with- out a fixed, daily routine. Grown people often have a mistaken idea that little children love change and should be constantly given special treats to "break the monotony" of their uneventful lives — whereas, monotony is the last thing that ever bores a small child. To him this world is a brand-new and highly exciting spectacle, whose various aspects he must study and view and review again and again. That is why a small child prefers to hear the same story over and over, and when the parent, bored to the verge of despair, suggests ' ' such a lovely new story," the conservative infant will none of it, but demands the threadbare favorite all over again. No, regularity and monotony may bore us grown-ups, but not the youngsters. The second great law of the nursery is tranquillity. We cannot hang our papoose to a tree, as the squaw does, and leave him Health Habits 23 to his own devices all day, — he must be bathed, fed, laid down for his nap and "seen to" more or less, at frequent intervals. But why, in the name of commonsense, should we wait upon, talk to, entertain, carry about and generally excite the child during his every waking moment? Just being alive, just lying and gazing at this marvellous, new universe gives " thrills" enough to anyone newly arrived therein. The baby brain finds wonders on every side with which to occupy itself and has no need of our constant " entertain- ment." I often wonder what the baby thinks of the adult who whistles, chucks him under the chin, claps his hands and per- forms all sorts of other antics, with the ob- ject of being " entertaining. " * I happen to know a young couple, both rather nervous and high-strung, who have a charming boy of three and a baby girl a few months old. So far from being nervous, they are the most serene children I have ever seen. Their mother explained this by 24 Character Training in Childhood saying, "I realized that Sonny and Baby were likely to have rather a nervous tend- ency, because their father and I are that way. So I determined to give them just as quiet and peaceful a start in life as possible. Of course, Baby has to be seen to frequently, and I talk to her and play with her a little when I bathe her, but between times she stays quietly by herself, playing with her fingers and toes and getting used to this strange, new world. I go in now and then to see that she is dry and comfortable and to smile and speak to her, but she is so used to being let alone, that she never cries for company. "I did the same with Brother when he was little. Of course, now that he is older, he is more with us, but he amuses himself by the hour on the porch or in the backyard, with merely an occasional word or smile from me. When we have company, he en- joys them with the rest of us, but if I see that he is beginning to grow excited or nerv- ous, I send him off to play by himself. Health Habits 25 There's nothing like quiet and plenty of soli- tude for soothing the nerves. ' ' I mentally contrasted her method with that of another acquaintance who has a boy of the same age as Sonny. Little Jack, from the time he was born, has gone everywhere and done everything with his parents ; shop- ping, visiting, travelling, dining in restaur- ants, he is always the center of interest be- cause of his cherub face and lively prattle. He is undoubtedly more precocious than peaceful little Sonny, but he is fast becoming an extremely nervous child, and I fear will make a capricious, superficial man. As I look at him, I think of Matthew Ar- nold's lines, ' ' What shelter to grow ripe is ours ? "What leisure to grow wise?" No human body can develop into health and vigor, no human soul can gain wisdom and power, unless it has shelter from the crowd and leisure hours for thought and peaceful growth. We Americans suffer, physically and spiritually, from our atmos- 26 Character Training in Childhood phere of crowds and haste. Let us at least make an "isle of safety" around our chil- dren, where they can, as the poet says, "ripen" into a serene, strong maturity. If these two great laws of regularity and tranquillity are supreme in the nursery, there is little need to warn against certain bad practices. I mean the use of pacifiers, soothing syrups and other means of keep- ing the baby quiet. Soothing syrups are often "doped" and should never be used, except under a doctor's express direction. Many a baby has been in- jured for life or even killed by the careless use of such drugs. As for pacifiers, they distort the child's mouth, lead to mouth-breathing, often cause adenoids, and may make the teeth grow in a bad position. They are also likely to be dirty. Often and often I have seen a paci- fier drop to the ground, only to be replaced in the baby's mouth after a hasty wipe. Another serious count against the paci- fier or any other artificial means of sooth- Health Habits 27 ing the baby is that they start self-indulgent habits. A baby who has been used to suck- ing all day on a pacifier will cry when de- prived of it. But it is not natural for the baby to suck all day, any more than it is natural for his mother to munch candy all day or for his father to smoke all day. Yet all three of these habits can become so fixed that to break them causes real pain. The sensible adult does not enslave himself to any useless and harmful habit which is as bad for his character as for his health. Nor should the parent fix upon the helpless child any harmful habit. It will imperceptibly, but very really, weaken his power of will and self-control, if, every time he cries, his mouth is stopped and his attention dis- tracted by a pacifier. If the crying is caused by real discomfort, remove the cause. If the baby cries for company or from anger, let him have his cry out. It will exercise his lungs and show him that crying is not the way to get things in this world. PEOPER NOURISHMENT The saying "There is no accounting for tastes" may contain a grain of truth, but it is mostly falsehood, for tastes are largely accounted for by habit. Nowhere is this more evident than in the matter of food. The Eskimo devours blubber with delight, the Chinaman enjoys birds' nests, the Euro- pean eats oysters, frogs' legs and lobster. Each one marvels at the disgusting diet of the others. This conservatism in the matter of food, this dislike to try any unfamiliar dish, is especially noticeable in children. Just as the child likes to hear the same story over and over again, so he has a strong desire to eat the same things every day, and even at every meal. While the baby is small, this tendency is a safeguard. Up to about nine months, the child needs only milk. Then, gradually, the 28 NOURISHMENT Proper nourishment induces right feeling.contributes to right think- ing and makes for right conduct. IGNORANCE. Unwise choice of food. irregularity in meals; bolting of food, lack of exercise and fresh air. contribute to an irritable state of mind. INTELLIGENCE. Simple food, regularity, proper mastication, plenty of exercise, fresh air and sleep, contribute to a cheerful state of mind. Information about diet may be had from the City or State Department of Health. , * Proper Nourishment 29 diet should be enlarged to include strained cereals, stewed fruits, broths, toast, soft eggs, green vegetables well mashed, in increasing amounts and variety until, at seven years, the child should be eating any sort of simple, well-cooked food. But the trouble is that most of us do not know enough to work with Nature. When the baby is small, we are eager to give him "just a taste" of everything in sight. I repeat that babies do not naturally crave a widely varied diet. It is no hardship for the baby to eat his bread and milk while the family dine on meat and vegetables — no hardship unless his naturally simple taste has been ruined by being fed with tidbits from father's or mother's plate. It is quite possible so to spoil a baby's taste and ruin his digestion by this sort of indulgence that he will cry for every dish he sees. And when a baby's natural instinct for simplicity is thus upset, the whole basis of his baby-life is upset with it. If, instead of simple meals at regular hours, he is given 30 Character Training in Childhood whatever he cries for, whenever he wants it, the very bases of character are made un- sure. The little child who is permitted to eat as much as he wishes, of whatever he wishes, whenever he wishes, is not merely building a sickly body and a weak digestion ; he is also building a weak will and a self- indulgent character. After the child is about seven years old, he should have a varied diet, but, oddly enough, the baby who eats everything is very likely to grow into the child who will eat only a few things. I have in mind a poor Irish family that I once knew. Little Minnie, aged eighteen months, sat at the table with the family and ate, as her mother proudly announced, ' ' wid the best of us. ' ' That is to say, she devoured meat, potatoes and cabbage and dearly loved to drink from her father's cup of coffee. She always demanded loudly her right to taste of every dish, but never ate a great deal. "I niver give her much, but sure a wee taste can't hurt her," said Mrs. Sullivan. Proper Nourishment 31 With the older girl, Katie, aged eleven, who should have been eating a wide variety, it was just the other way around. She would eat nothing but meat, potatoes, tea and sweets, as we found to our chagrin when we took her for a visit in the country. She could not be induced to eat any green vege- tables, she refused cereals, and begged for a cup of tea in place of her glass of new milk. Katie was the victim of two fundamental mistakes in diet. As a baby, her digestion had been weakened and a capricious appetite encouraged by eating "everything" like lit- tle Minnie. And a second mistake had been made by allowing her, as she grew older, to eat the two or three things that she liked best, to the exclusion of other dishes. I do not mean that a child should be forced to eat quantities of distasteful food, but he should be made to try a little of each new dish until he learns to like it, or until it is clear that his dislike is a natural and permis- sible antipathy and not a mere whim. I emphasize this matter of a balanced diet 32 Character Training in Childhood so strongly because many parents do not realize that a child may be fed, but not nour- ished. Examination of countless school children shows that undernourishment is not merely a matter of poverty. Many and many a child of wealth is undernourished. Plenty of fresh air and sleep are needed for a well nourished body, but, above all, we must give our children well selected food. It is not necessary for parents to be ex- per dietitians but they should understand a few simple facts about food. Food is needed to keep the body warm, to give it fuel with which to work, and to pro- vide material with which to grow and to re- pair waste. The tissue-building and waste-repairing foods, — proteids, as the scientists call them, — are meat, fish, eggs, milk, cheese. To these may be added beans, peas, oatmeal, cornmeal, barley, macaroni and all forms of whole wheat. This second list contains a large amount of tissue-building material but also possesses much heat and energy- Proper Nourishment 33 making power, so that the foods on this sec- ond list are doubly valuable. The foods which are almost entirely com- posed of heat and energy-giving materials are the starches and sugars (carbohydrates) and the fats. The principal starchy foods are potatoes, rice, tapioca, white crackers, white bread, bananas, cakes, sugar and all forms of sweets. The main fat foods are cream, butter, cocoa, chocolate, oil and the fat of meats. Since the human machine in childhood must be kept warm, must have energy for almost constant motion, and must also have building material, with which to make mus- cle, blood and bone, it is clear that a child fed on potatoes, white bread and sweets, or a child fed on meat, eggs and milk, is not, in either case, well nourished. But there is still another class of foods, poor in building materials and also in warmth and energy, but rich in mineral salts and absolutely necessary to keep the body in good running order. These are the green 34 Character Training in Childhood vegetables and fruits such as corn, lima beans, green peas, spinach, string beans, celery, tomatoes, onions, apples, pears, peaches, berries, etc. The diet of every child, if it is to keep well and grow as it should, must contain these various materials and the family table should be so planned as to include them all. As to what foods to avoid, the matter may be briefly summed up by saying that chil- dren should be given only plain, nutritious, easily digested food. This rule cuts out rich pastry, fancy dishes, fried food, pickles, too much sweets, and all tea and coffee. Older stomachs may be able to stand such diet, but no child's digestion should have such a strain put upon it. I know that many a parent will point out that children are always hungry, and that many a boy or girl devours candy and pickles between meals without any visible bad ef- fects. My reply is that evil effects will show immediately only in the case of a child with an already weak digestion. Our stomachs Proper Nourishment 35 are amazingly tough and usually stand a long course of ill treatment before objecting so violently that we notice it. I have in mind a friend who, as a child, had an almost per- fect digestion. It was a family jest that "Ada could eat nails and thrive on them." Ada, presuming on this fact, ate anything and everything at all hours of day and night, with the result that at twenty her digestion was seriously impaired and at forty she has to be very careful in her diet. Again I must repeat that diet is not merely a matter of our children's bodies, — it is also a matter of their characters. It is not only a matter of their physical growth, but of their spiritual development. We must see, and make our children see, that food, like all of Nature's gifts, has a double purpose, — an immediate and a far-off one, — a present tickling of our palate, and a future building up of our bodily strength. Both purposes are right, but we must not set one against the other. We must not gratify our sense of taste at the expense of 36 Character Training in Childhood our bodily strength. The child must not, for instance, drink coffee or tea because, though they " taste good," they will weaken, not strengthen his body. Food is a very real interest in the life of a healthy child. I am not pleading for any suppression of the child's frank enjoyment thereof. By all means let him have his turn at "choosing dessert" and let him, as Stevenson did, count food among his daily pleasures and blessings. But even a little child can and should begin to realize the meaning of the words, "Is not the life more than meat?" And unless he does begin to learn, in childhood, that present, momentary pleasure is worth less than future, perma- nent gain, the chances are that he may learn it too late, or not at all. CLEANLINESS Among the health habits that are most dif- ficult to instil into children none is more baf- fling than the habit of cleanliness. "Tom seems to love dirt," wails his mother, and her plaint is echoed by every mother of her ac- quaintance. It is true that Tom's begrimed 'appear- ance often seems to warrant his mother's declaration that he "loves dirt," but if we take "the road to yesterday" and search our own childish memories, I think we shall free Tom of this accusation. I distinctly recall — who does not? — being often reproved for coming to table with un- washed hands. Did I do so because of any special liking for dirt % Not at all. My un- washed hands were merely a result of three different causes. Firstly, I had not, from babyhood, formed the habit of washing be- 37 38 Character Training in Childhood fore meals, so that it was a distinct effort for me to remember it. Secondly, hand-wash- ing was a dull, uninteresting performance which stole precious moments from my en- grossing paper dolls. Therefore I played until the last moment and, fearing a reproof for lateness at table, went thither unwashed and strove to hide my hands beneath the cloth. Thirdly, I saw no especial import- ance in this eternal washing. Now every line of conduct is based on one of these three motives, which, as I have said, I lacked. Church-going, for instance, is due in a great many cases to habit. The habit is often reinforced by a realization of the im- portance of church going, both for oneself and for the community. Thirdly, church going may be the result not of habit, nor of any special sense of its importance, but be- cause the service or the minister is found in- teresting. Let us apply these facts to the problem of Tom's dirty hands. In the first place, shocking as it sounds, there are compara- CLEANLINESS Ninety per cent of all diseases are due to some lack of cleanliness, internal or external. «r«- ti— mraiMiiB ■■■ ■ Clean Air V /Clean FppcK n , . ■ V and Water 1 . fusty or unaired K, 7 lL , , , , \ rooms are a \ Neither should be J \ common cause exposed to dust. / \ r ij ■ | insects.or bodily / V ot colds, etc. I excre tions. J n&^T 4 **^^-~ = ~T^^ mm ?~^^^^B /A Clean 7 A ClearvV f Skin / Digestive Tract \ //»i ~ 1 irx^Pilior" \A/lTrt ?\ r\oz\r\ V 1 / i L*^-J J7 1 WlBBUHffl Willi tl t leal 1 \ / Clogged pores ot . .- 6 ili h ji i \ / 1 1 i • i \ mouth/teeth and tonsils. \ ^ the skin overwork 1 |f. e | imina+ion is 1 other organs that / \ insu ff icien { or jrr ^ u | ai - throw off wast*/ J>T d^ase follows. J / Intelligence brings "GOOD LUCK" in health. Cleanliness 39 tively few homes where cleanliness is made a habit. I have often wondered why a mother will bathe the baby daily and yet con- sider a weekly or bi-weekly "tub" sufficient for the older children who accumulate more dirt in a day than the baby does in a week. The fact is probably not that she thinks the children need less washing, but that it takes more time and trouble than she thinks she can spare to see that the entire brood are bathed. There is no doubt that it does take a little time and thought, but the forming of a life- long health habit is surely worth it, and a child who has formed the habit of daily bath- ing and of washing before meals will not have to remember to do so. As I said, we cannot expect the child to remember to do anything which seems to him utterly unimportant. Therefore we ought to explain the "why" of hand-wash- ing. Tom will wash much more willingly if he understands that dirt often contains germs and that washing is a real protection 40 Character Training in Childhood against eating the seeds of disease. As it is, Tom is prone to consider washing before meals an unnecessary bore devised by grown- ups for the special annoyance of boys. Thirdly, Tom must somehow be given a real interest in hand-washing. This can be done in a variety of ways, depending on Tom's age, interests and the other circum- stances. Many little children can be greatly interested by making a sort of story-game of the washing. Instead of saying to the six year old, "Oh what dreadful hands! Go wash them this minute !" why not say, " Mis- tress Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?" Then show Mary the ten rosy nails that should be oval like bells, and the ten knuckles that stand for the "cockle- shells" and the ten slim fingers that stand like "pretty maids all in a row," and exclaim in dismay over the untidy ' ' garden. ' ' Mary will be, if she is like most children, eager to polish the bells, clean the cockle shells and wash the faces of the pretty maidens. And next time the mere inquiry, ' ' How does your Cleanliness 41 garden grow?" will be likely to send her, with a smiling face, to the wash-basin. If, instead of six year old Mary, you have ten year old Tom to deal with, why not en- list him in the "Modern Health Crusade'"? This movement for interesting children in the formation of health habits is based on child psychology and has been enormously successful in enlisting the enthusiasm of its young members. The children by constant repetition form the habits of cleanliness, good posture, tooth-brushing, etc. They are taught the importance of these habits as the necessary basis of health and self-respect and lastly, — but really the most important of all, — they are interested in health, because it is made an imaginative crusade, an in- spiring contest, in which all join, for these older children have reached the stage where they enjoy team-games, clubs and all forms of joint work and play. "We must never forget that health is from within. Compare two mothers, both equally eager for the health of their children. Mrs. 42 Character Training in Childhood A. surrounds her children with every care, giving them carefully selected food, sending them to bed early, keeping her home clean and well ventilated, bathing the small ones and seeing that the older ones bathe them- selves regularly and often. Her babies will probably be healthy, but her older children, never having been told the "why" of all these health regulations, are likely to regard them as a nuisance. They will, in all likelihood, eat between meals on the sly, lie awake to read a surreptitious story-book and do no more bathing than is necessary to pass in- spection. Mrs. B., like Mrs. A., gives her children good surroundings and care, but she also explains the need of care for one's health and makes keeping healthy and strong a jolly, delightful game, from the baby who plays "ducky daddies" in his bath, to the older ones who have tooth-brush drills and are much excited over their height and weight records and the doing of their Health Crusade "chores." Cleanliness 43 The difference between these two moth- ers is that the first is working from without, trying to plaster health onto her children, as it were, while the second mother is trying to encourage the spirit of health. The first is trying to remove dirt and the second is endeavoring to foster cleanliness. The latter method is the only one that can ever have a lasting effect, for in health mat- ters, as in all else, growth cannot be forced from without, — it must be fostered from within. II EARLY HABIT FORMING BEGIN IN BABYHOOD Thus far we have spoken only of the phys- ical habits which make for health and form the strong physical basis of a strong char- acter. When shall we begin the actual moral training of our children? How early shall we start to guide and develop their char- acters ? To this query I have heard many a fond parent reply, "Oh, I can't bear the thought of punishing baby. I don't believe in disci- plining children until they are old enough to understand.' ' But discipline does not mean punishment, although wise punishment may at times be a useful form of discipline. The word ' ' disci-\ pline" is formed from a Latin word mean- ing "to learn," and discipline, conscious or unconscious, begins for each of us when life 47 48 Character Training in Childhood itself begins, for the beginning of life means the beginning of learning. As for baby's being "too young to under- stand, ' ' that depends upon what it is that you wish him to understand. A child, even at six years of age, is too young to understand an abstract sermon on self-control, but even at six months, he is quite old enough to un- derstand that he will gain more by self con- trol than by screaming. It is quite true that small children do not understand theories and long explanations and arguments, but they do understand results. Everyone who has ever trained a dog knows that his education in honesty, obedi- ence and general good behavior must begin in his early puppyhood. No one dreams of postponing his training until he is "old enough to understand," for the trainer knows that the basis of dog-education is to make the dog understand. Just so it is our business to make the in- fant understand that smiles bring attention but that screams result in solitude. BEGIN IN BABYHOOD "We must begin not with the adults whose habits and ideals are set, but with children who are still plastic. We must begin with children in the home, the school, the street and the playground." (Sharks H'SUot To guide first steps rightly is better than to alter false steps later. Begin in Babyhood 49 A dog who has been well trained in puppy- hood will, when older, almost never need any punishment other than his master's reproof. Just so a child who, in the animal stage of infancy, has formed habits of good temper and self control, will, when older, seldom need other punishment than his mother's sad face and words of reproach and disappoint- ment. But if all discipline, — that is to say, all conscious training of the child's character, — is postponed until he is five or six years old, he has usually developed into a selfish little animal who is the slave of his own whims and upon whom his mother's sorrow- ful reproof and his father's arguments have no effect. I very vividly recall visiting in the fam- ily of a small girl who was being brought up on the theory that she must understand be- fore she was required to do anything. The family would be sitting on the piazza reading aloud when Anna, aged four, would appear beating on a tin pan. Her mother would 50 Character Training in Childhood smile and gently say, "Take your pan over there on the lawn, darling, so we can read." Anna would shake her head and continue drumming. Her mother would repeat her request and Anna would reply, "No, I want to play here. ' ' Then would follow a long discourse by Mother, explaining that the grown peo- ple wanted to read, that Anna's drum pre- vented this, and that she was sure that Anna wanted to be a good girl and be kind to others. To all of this Anna merely repeated, "But I tvant to beat my drum here." And so she did, while the grownups beat a retreat into the house, leaving her in possession of the field, and her mother apologetically mur- mured, "She's so little that she can't really understand. ' ' I agreed that Anna did not understand her patient mother's long explanation, but she did understand just one thing and that was that she could treat others selfishly and unjustly, with no unpleasant result whatever Begin in Babyhood 51 to herself. Her patient, conscientious, gen- tle mother was actually training the child in selfishness, even while she urged her to un- selfishness, for I repeat that small children do not understand talk, they understand re- sults. They will learn the joy of service by serving, they will acquire respect for others' rights by being made to respect those rights and by having their own rights respected; but they will never learn any virtue by hear- ing it talked about. Therefore I repeat that we must begin in earliest infancy to train our children, not by constant talking and nagging, but by see- ing that they reap the fruits of their actions. Later in life, verbal explanations and ex- hortations may have some use, but not yet. In the case which I have mentioned, lit- tle Anna should have been pleasantly in- formed that she must either beat her drum at a distance, where it would not interfere with others, or that she must give it up en- tirely. If this resulted in her losing her drum until she was willing to make proper 52 Character Training in Childhood use of it, she would immediately have grasped the idea that selfish disregard of others' rights does not bring pleasure to one- self. There is no greater tragedy, to me, than that of a ''spoiled" child. Fond parents say, "Oh, well, Tom is such a little fellow. He '11 outgrow his naughtiness as soon as he is old enough to reason with." They do not seem to see that the law of cause and effect is reasoning with Tom every day of his life, and that his conduct is formed according to the results which he sees it produces for his comfort or discomfort. Put yourself in Tom's place. If by kick- ing and screaming we could alter the laws of our universe, which of us would not yell his loudest? If our temper, our selfishness and injustice never reacted upon our own heads, which of us is so perfect that he would always be gentle, kind and just? Tom is but human in taking the means which bring about his desired end. It is our business, to see that those means, do not Begin in Babyhood 53 bring his desired end, but some end very un- desirable to him. Tom will speedily catch the point and seek to win his happiness in some other way. These early years, from birth to seven years old, are the most important ones in the child's whole life, for in them is laid the basis, physical and moral, of what the future man is to be. The brain is plastic, just as the bones are soft. The soft bones may be so warped that, a few j^ears later, the bow- legs can be cured only by a cruel breaking of the bones. Just so the baby brain may ac- quire the false idea that selfishness, temper and other ugly traits pay, and in later years this idea can be altered only by a painful wrenching and breaking process that means infinite trouble and suffering for both parent and child. Let us have done with this nonsensical, wasteful business of spoiling our babies and then unspoiling our children. Let's begin where Nature begins, at the beginning. ESTABLISH EIGHT HABITS One vital reason for beginning to train a child in infancy is that the early years are the habit-forming years, par excellence. As we have said, in infancy and early childhood, the brain tissue, like all other bodily tissues, is plastic, that is to say, impressions are eas- ily made, are deep, and therefore the char- acter is given a "set" that can be changed later only with great difficulty if at all. It is as if we were modelling wet clay, — we must handle it swiftly and give it the form we desire, ere it becomes "set" and the time for moulding is past. The acts which, by constant repetition, have become habits with us we perform eas- ily and often unconsciously. That is why, as we said in discussing cleanliness, habit is such a help, such a saving of labor and strain, in forming character. A young woman once said to me, "When 54 ESTABLISH RIGHT HABITS Habit is the basis of character. Habit-forming begins at birth. Therefore, train the baby in right habits. / ■ *<«t £ r rm N. Pulling things away. Right habits are unconsciously formed by continually repeated right action, imitation of right example. Establish Right Habits 55 I was little, Mother never insisted on my do- ing anything, for fear of weakening my will. So she would always explain exactly why I ought to do as she asked. Of course that was right, but I was so little that I didn't really care anything about reasons, — all I thought of was that I wanted to do this for- bidden thing, or not to do this other thing that Mother was talking about. So I would argue and argue and often end by flatly re- fusing. I never 'gave in' without endless argument and sulking, even when I was old enough to know that Mother was right. You see, I had gotten into the habit of argu- ing, and to this day I have the greatest trouble in making myself do what I know is right. My old habit of eternal arguing pre- vents my ever giving in cheerfully and promptly. Mother meant well, but oh how much trouble she would have spared me if only she had trained me in the habit of quickly and cheerfully doing what I knew was right." Many a man and woman, struggling 56 Character Training in Childhood against a bad habit, has echoed her wish, "Oh if my parents had only taught me the habit of acting differently!" And surely we owe this much to our children. Since good or bad habits formed in early child- hood, before the age of reason, may make or mar the child's whole life, surely it is our duty to train him in right habits. We have no right to let him form habits against which, later on, he may struggle in vain. On the other hand, if in childhood, he forms habits of cheerfulness, order, industry, un- selfishness and truthfulness, he will not have an uphill struggle to acquire these habits after the habit-forming years are past. Now how are habits formed ? Habit-tracks, if we may coin the term, are worn in the brain very much as paths are worn across a grassy meadow, by a con- tinuous succession of travellers. The foot- steps of the first traveller lay in no beaten path, but found their own way across the un- trodden meadow, leaving a faint track be- hind. As each successive pedestrian fol- Establish Right Habits 57 lowed this same path, it became a well de- fined road, for each found it natural to fol- low the path rather than to make a new route for himself. So it is that the paved streets of Boston are said to follow the winding ways taken by the wandering cows of Boston's early history, and the chance footsteps of a grazing animal determined the course of a busy city's traffic. In much the same way, successive acts wear a pathway through our brain tissue. Perhaps the baby's aimlessly wandering thumb finds its way into his mouth when he is laid down for his nap. Next day, at nap time, the thumb is likely to wander again in the same direction. Each time is easier than the last, until a regular habit is formed of sucking the thumb at nap time. How shall we break bad habits and form good ones? To return to our comparison of the cow- path, it is clear that the only way to restore the grass on the beaten track is to keep the cows off until the grass has a chance to grow 58 Character Training in Childhood up and obliterate the path. Just so with a habit, the only way to break it is simply to put up the bars, if possible, — to turn the ac- tivities abruptly and entirely in some other direction. Take the habit of thumb-sucking, — a pe- culiarly hard habit to break because the child is very little so that he cannot be ex- pected to make any effort to break it, and also because it is usually done without any intention, but quite unconsciously. The only way that I know of to break this habit is simply to use some means of making it impossible for the thumb to enter the mouth. There are various ways of doing this, such as pinning the sleeves to the mat- tress, wearing mittens, etc., but I think the best device is a sort of perforated aluminum ball which can be bought at any large store and which fits over the baby's hand. It is light and comfortable but so large that it is quite impossible for it to go into the baby's mouth. Its use is likely to cause rebellion at first, but the habit will speedily be for- Establish Right Habits 59 gotten and the baby's mouth saved from dis- figurement, and possible adenoids. This hard and fast method is the only sure way of breaking a bad habit or of forming a good one. We know that if only one per- son per week treads a path, the grass will begin to grow in it and it will not be kept open. Just so, if little Mary is put to bed at six o 'clock several nights in the week, but on the other nights is allowed to remain up until seven or later because she cries, she will never form the habit of going happily to bed at a fixed hour. If John, whenever his mother thinks of it, is required to put away his toys at night, but is allowed frequently to leave them for his nurse to clear away, John will not form the habit of orderliness. The secret, as William James says, of forming or breaking a habit is never to al- low an exception, but to do, or not do the desirable or undesirable thing every time. In his delightful chapter on Habit, James recalls Rip Van Winkle's reiterated excuse 60 Character Training in Childhood for drinking, "Just one glass. I won't count this time," and he continues, "Well! he may not count it, and a kind Heaven may not count it; but it is being counted none the less. Down among his nerve-cells and fibres the molecules are counting it, reg- istering and storing it up to be used against him when the next temptation comes. " It is far, far easier to form good habits than to break bad ones. Therefore our ef- forts should be directed not merely to check- ing wrong tendencies, but to fostering right ones. It may be necessary sometimes to say "don't," but whenever possible, we should say "do" instead. We should aim to "crowd out" bad habits by developing good habits opposed to them. For instance, Mrs. Y 's little Robert had a habit of snatching from his playmates any- thing he wanted. For a time she merely in- sisted on his restoring the snatched toy, but his progress in overcoming the habit was slow. She therefore drew Robert to her one day and said, "This afternoon Hugh is com- Establish Right Habits 61 ing over to visit us, with his mother. I am going to get out some of my pretty china to show her, and what do you think Hugh would like to play with? Let's both see how happy we can make our company and how nice we can be to them. ' ' So the toys were attractively arranged for Hugh to take his choice and all the after- noon Mrs. Y., who had whispered a hint in her friend's ear, was especially gracious and attentive to Hugh's mother and made a special point of seeing that Robert offered each toy to his guest and played the host kindly and thoroughly in every detail. When Hugh was leaving, his mother said, "How very kind you and Robert have been. Hugh and I have had a beautiful visit." Of course Robert did not acquire the habit of courtesy all in one afternoon, but, little by little, as by his mother's example and co- operation, he learned the pleasure of being courteous, the ugly trick of snatching had to be corrected less and less often and was crowded out by the spirit of courtesy. 62 Character Training in Childhood As we have said before, children learn practically nothing from talking, a great deal from example, and most of all from doing. As Shakspere says, "How use doth breed a habit in a man!" It is every par- ent 's business to see that by becoming used to courtesy, order, truth, industry and all other fine qualities, the little child shall form the habits of being courteous, orderly, truthful and helpful. A wise man once said, "We first make our habits and then they make us." DIRECT THE WILL There is probably no subject upon which there is more general confusion of mind than the Will and how it can best be trained. Nine people out of ten mistake obstinacy for will power, whereas obstinacy is often the sign of a weak will. As someone has wittily remarked, obstinacy is due not to will-power, but to "won't-power." The word ''obstinate" is derived from two Latin words meaning "to stand against," and that is just what the obstinate person does. He does not push forward and exert his will, he stands, unable to budge, even when he secretly longs to do so and knows that he ought. He is not the master of a strong will, but the victim of a weak one. In an institution for colored children I was once called upon to deal with a refrac- tory child. Julia was about eleven years old, rather dull and without any of the 63 64 Character Training in Childhood powers of energy, perseverance and leader- ship which mark the strong will. She had been engaged in some wilful naughtiness which had resulted in her being sent to me. I talked with her for some time, trying to get her point of view, but could elicit no answer whatever. She simply sat like a little black thunder-cloud, brow wrinkled, lips pouting, refusing to speak, even in an- swer to my request for her explanation of her conduct. I finally told her that since she chose to act like a baby, I should have to send her up to the babies' dormitory to sleep. No an- swer except the deepening of her scowl. She flatly refused to go upstairs, saying not a word but remaining rooted to her chair. As I could not have dragged her upstairs, even if I had wished to do so, I led her, kick- ing and struggling into a small, but light and airy room adjoining my own room and locked her in. At frequent intervals dur- ing the afternoon and evening, I went to her door to inquire whether she would like to DIRECT THE WILL The will should not be repressed hut stimulated and guided Overcome stubbornness by suggestion The deliberate Iwill is the basis of a man's character and the Iwill or the crises in life is being made by the Iwill of each day Direct the Will 65 come out and was ready to go upstairs. Every inquiry was greeted with silence. Finally, at ten o'clock (she had been alone for six hours) I said, "Julia, I am very tired and am going to bed. Are you going to sleep on the floor in there, or upstairs'?" A very small and gentle voice replied, "I want to come out and sleep upstairs." As we walked upstairs together, Julia's arm stole around my waist and her lips were raised for the goodnight kiss of peace and restored happiness. She slept happily in the nursery, was returned to her own cottage next day and never again, in her relations with me, fell a victim to her own perverted will. Did I " weaken" Julia's will? Quite the contrary. She had wanted to do right all along, but her will was thwarted by an inner check so strong that she was powerless. She could not throw off the evil spell until, at last, her real will asserted itself and she did what she had wanted to do from the first and was happy and reconciled. 66 Character Training in Childhood Many and many a time, especially among colored children, I have seen a child sulky, unhappy and stubborn, unable to rouse his will and shake off the chain of obstinacy. In extreme cases such as Julia's there seems to me to be no way except to wait until the fit wears off, always seeing that the child gains nothing by his obstinacy. In the course of time, the most stubborn child will see that obstinacy merely makes him un- happy and does not carry his point. "With almost all small children, however, the matter of obstinacy ought not to have to come to a "show down," such as I have de- scribed. An ounce of preventive tact is worth a j)ound of dictatorial command. Imagine yourself deeply engrossed in a fascinating piece of work. Suddenly a sharp voice cries, "It's bedtime. Put those toys down at once and go upstairs!" You plead for a moment or two more, so that you may finish your work. The voice, sharper than ever, replies, "Did you hear Direct the Will 67 what I said? Go at once! I won't have you disobeying me!" Being merely human, you probably set your jaw and determine to finish your work anyhow, and are summarily hauled off, kick- ing and struggling, the victim of superior force. Now this distressing scene could just as easily have been avoided as not. Suppose the voice had said, "In just five more min- utes it's going to be bedtime, so begin to get ready, dear." Then, five minutes later Mother had called "All aboard for Bedville! Get your tickets, ladies and gentlemen, you've just time to catch the train!" With such a jovial suggestion, who would not join in the game, take the bit of news- paper representing the "ticket" and canter upstairs cheerfully ? If our children are stubborn, it is usually because we are somehow at fault. In the case of Julia, she had, from infancy, been allowed to sulk and knew from experience 68 Character Training in Childhood that if she "stood out" long enough she could exhaust the patience of the grown-ups and follow her own whims. As I have intimated, with many children obstinacy is the result of the inconsistency and unreasonableness of their elders. We have no right to call a child from some en- grossing pleasure, summoning him sharply and unsympathetically, and expect him to drop his task instantly and be all eagerness and cheerfulness in obeying our commands. Nor have we any right to allow or deny pleasures according to the whim of the mo- ment. Any intelligent child knows per- fectly well whether you are denying him be- cause you really feel that it is right, or whether you are denying merely for your own convenience. Nor can we expect a child to be reasonable when we ourselves are inconsistent and for- getful. Consider a moment the forgetful, absent- minded mother. My neighbor Mrs. L. sits sewing and talking with me while little Direct the Will 69 George, aged four, sits on the floor scribbling on some blank paper. Presently George, in search of fresh material, starts to scribble on a book lying on the table. Mrs. L. shakes her head, "No, dear, don't spoil the book. Turn your paper over and draw on the other side of that." For a few moments, George does so, then he begins again to scribble on the book cover. Mrs. L., deeply interested in her conversa- tion, is utterly oblivious for some time. At last she wakes up, exclaiming, "Georgie, Mother told you not to do that. If you spoil the books, I'll have to take away the pencil." Thus reproved, George subsides peace- fully into harmless drawing on the paper, but soon finds it tedious and again, with a side glance at Mother, starts outlining the in- teresting pattern on the book with his pencil. He continues undisturbed until his mother, rising to leave, suddenly discovers the mutil- ated book. "Did you ever see such an ob- stinate child!" she exclaims to me. "He is simply determined to have his own way. n 70 Character Training in Childhood Now George is really not a strong willed child at all. He is rather a listless, dreamy child, absent-minded like his mother. He did not have any passion for scribbling on the book, nor did he consciously determine to have his own way. He was bored, found drawing on plain paper monotonous and could think of nothing more amusing than to scribble on the first thing that came to hand. He knew from experience that his mother's "don't" meant nothing whatever and consequently he continued idly and thoughtlessly to do what she forbade. No, the will is not trained by allowing a child to follow his own whims or to be the slave of his own obstinacy. It is developed by justice, consistency and sympathetic tact on the parent's part and by letting the child think for himself, decide, plan and act for himself, just as far as his age will permit. I recall when a child my keen enjoyment in being allowed to select the "company" china which should be used for the Thanks- giving dinner table. It was a delightful re- Direct the Will 71 sponsibility. The exciting task of buying ten and fifteen cent presents for all the family at Christmas was another cause of endless thought and careful decision. And whenever there was any festivity or family plan afoot, we children were allowed to join in the preliminary planning and even al- lowed to cast the deciding vote as to whether we should picnic at the beach or in the park. We knew that no one's selfish whims had any consideration whatever, but that our wishes and opinions would receive respectful weight in the family councils. And we were helped to that best of all will-tonics, the habit of success. There is nothing that hampers the will more than the memory of failures and the expectation of more failures. The boy, all afire with a brand-new scheme, will rush in exclaiming, "We fellers are going to give a circus and spend the money on buying baseball togs. It's going to be grand ! ' ' If his mother looks up languidly and says, 72 Character Training in Childhood "Oh dear, Willie, I wish you wouldn't shout so. Now go upstairs and wash for supper," while his father merely grunts, "Circus! Who do you think will want to watch you kids play circus? You'd better spend some time on your geography, instead of learning circus stunts," — if, I say, Willie's wonder- ful idea is thus cold-watered, he will, as the years go by, get to saying, "What's the use?" And the boy who forms the habit of saying and feeling that, has buried his will power so deep that it is likely never to rise again. How well I remember the "tragedy" which my sister and I once composed and solemnly acted before the grown folks. We were treated with as much respect and our efforts furthered as kindly as if we had been professionals. We were allowed to rum- mage through old trunks for costumes and "properties," were given shawls to use for curtains and were assisted in learning our lines. At the final grand performance, the grown-ups capped the climax of their kind- Direct the Will 73 ness by listening with perfect gravity to our comic tragedy. The result was that we were tremendously exhilarated. We were not hampered by a sense of futility. Our wills were set free. This, I believe, is the secret of will-devel- opment, — not -to let the child remain the slave of his whims, as the "disobedient" child usually is, — but so to encourage, aid and inspire him that he shall form the habit of successfully carrying out his real wishes. Thus his will is set free, both from his own obstinacy and from the discouraging checks caused by repeated failures, for the freeing of the will is nothing but the freeing of the soul, that it may triumph over its own lesser nature and over outer circumstances. CONTROL THE EMOTIONS As habit and will power form the basis of conduct and character, so what we call tem- perament, or personality, depends upon the emotions. When we touch a man's feelings, emotions and desires, we touch the man him- self. Not as a man thinketh in his mind, but "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Now, what part do we want emotion to play in the lives of our children % There is perhaps no more vital question in the whole range of education. A man's emotional life is a very fire within him, and fire may be the motive force which drives the ship to its happy haven, or the raging demon which la} 7 s waste the homes and harvests of men. It is simply a question of use and con- trol. Children vary very greatly in the strength of their emotions, in the degree to which their emotions show on the surface, and in 74 CONTROL THE EMOTIONS Emotion, like fire, is u a good servant, but a bad master." **> » f : He "wants what he wants when he wants it? Lead the child to want the right thing at the right time.and show him how to get it in the right way. Desires and emotions are. the mainsprings of life. Control the Emotions 75 the extent to which they consciously control their emotions. People may be roughly divided into three types, the unemotional, stolid type ; the emo- tional, excitable, "gushing" type; and the emotional but controlled type. We cannot help our children to the right sort of emo- tional life unless we first understand to which type they belong. Unemotional natures are usually even- tempered, practical, reliable and thorough, but they lack imagination, quick sympathy and high idealism. Very emotional natures are imaginative, sympathetic, and often extremely idealistic, but they are prone to anger, impracticality, unreliability, impatience and the sort of selfishness which springs from too much self analysis. The controlled, but emotional nature is a happy combination of the steadiness and strength of the stolid man and the imagina- tion and quick sympathy of the emotional one. 76 Character Training in Childhood It is only the rare individual who is so fortunate as to be oorn into this third type. Most of us acquire it only with long effort if at all, but it is an ideal worth striving for, for reliability without emotion makes a man stolid, while emotion without reliability makes him shallow and fickle. Suppose we have to deal with a stolid child, such as little Franz K., who is slow in thought and action, strong willed, and much wrapped up in his own little circle of life, with little interest in others and seldom showing any keen emotion. Franz needs to be "waked up," stimu- lated, given new and varied experiences. He actually needs an amount of excitement that would ruin an emotional, nervous child. He should be sent to Kindergarten, thrown constantly with other children, given pets, shown pictures, fed on fairy tales, taught to dance and sing, especially in company with others. For such a child it is ruinous to be left to vegetate in a placid household of matter-of-fact adults, where life flows along Control the Emotions 77 in an uneventful stream. He should have " something doing" constantly. His eyes and ears should be subjected to a succession of new sights and sounds. This continued stimulus to his nerves will gradually stimu- late his brain and shake it into a more lively, impressionable, responsive state. He will probably always remain "one of the quiet sort," but he will no longer be stolid, unsym- pathetic and devoid of imagination. A more usual type among American chil- dren is the emotionally uncontrolled child, such as Betty L. Betty is always in motion. She loves gaiety, excitement and pleasure. She is full of short-lived enthusiasms, alter- nating with equally brief fits of the ' ' blues. ' ' She is not stubborn, but capriciously wilful, — angry at being crossed, but ready to throw her arms about her mother's neck the next moment. She loves company and everyone "takes to her," for she is sympathetic and ready to show affection to everyone, but she is inconstant and unreliable. She is quick, clever, artistic, but unwilling to apply her- 78 Character Training in Childhood self or to carry through any uncongenial task. Betty is the result of giving a naturally emotional temperament too much stimulus and too little control. Her parents' con- stant travelling has caused her to attend first one school and then another, so that she could never "take root" anywhere, but no sooner began to form friendships than she was wrenched away from them. This con- tinual moving also robbed her of concentra- tion mentally, for her studies were inter- rupted and she never followed any course of instruction through to the end. Even as a baby, she lacked that regular, peaceful rou- tine which would have calmed her nerves and given her poise and strength. An emotional, excitable child like Betty needs exactly opposite treatment from Franz. Instead of constant companionship, she needs a certain amount of solitude and quiet play with a few friends. Instead of being "shown off," she should be kindly but firmly kept in the background. Her imag- Control the Emotions 79 ination and love of beauty should be fed but not over stimulated ; that is, she should enjoy a few simple and beautiful things, rather than be allowed to flit from one enjoy- ment to another. The keynote of her life should be regular habits, physical and mental, the enjoyment of continuous friend- ships with a rather small circle, and above all, training in service of others. The emotional child especially needs training in service, because, as James points out, emotion that " evaporates" without re- sulting in action is a weakening form of mere self-indulgence. Therefore the emo- tional little Betties should be given responsi- bility and every opportunity of thinking and working for others. Betty is fond of pets. Very well, by all means let her have pets, but let her bear the responsibility for their care, feeding and ex- ercise. If she flings her arms around Rover's neck and calls him her "darling doggie," but cannot remember to feed him and see to his comfort, her love is a mere 80 Character Training in Childhood sentimental weakness. If she constantly kisses and caresses her family, do not repress her, but see that her affection is proved by her willingness to be helpful and unselfish. The emotional nature is typified by the story of the Russian Countess who wept over the mimic sorrows of a stage heroine, while her own coachman froze to death waiting for her outside the theater. Just so the emo- tional child whose emotion is never tested and crystallized into action will become the man or woman who is "so warm-heart ed" but thoroughly selfish, "so sympathetic," but never ready to give any real help, "so enthusiastic," but never on hand to put a shoulder to the wheel and work for any needy cause. Yet the emotional child, through a regular, well-organized childhood, where emotion is transmuted into noble action, will become the finest type of manhood or womanhood, keenly sympathetic and helpful, imagina- tive, creative, — truly the savior of a worka- day, colorless world. Control the Emotions 81 It is so easy, with the emotional child, to make the emotional appeal, that a word of warning must be sounded. An emotional child will respond very quickly to the plea, " Don't make me unhappy. Do this for my sake." Now we cannot expect very little children to grasp abstract principles ; they are neces- sarily swayed mostly by the desire of ap- proval and affection. With older children, however, we must make a higher appeal. "This you should do, not because I wish it, but because it is right." "I trust you to avoid this evil habit, not because of your af- fection for me, but because of your own self- respect, because of your love of truth and justice and right." The child who is appealed to only on the score of his personal affections and emotions is not likely ever to develop that sturdy man- hood which stands for truth in the face of popular prejudice, and for justice, even when it works suffering to him and his. On the other hand, the boy who is 82 Character Training in Childhood grounded in principle even more deeply than in personal emotion will be the man who serves his country rather than his party. The girl so reared will become the woman who resolutely hides her own grief and smilingly gives her children to the service of the world. CULTIVATE SELF-RELIANCE Children differ greatly in the degree to which they are naturally self-reliant. Children in the same family, given the same training, show marked differences in this re- spect. I know a family where the two boys, aged seven and five, were always loth to dress themselves, or wait on themselves in any way, while their little sister of three would cry with vexation if she was not al- lowed to "Do it her own self," as she said. In speaking of the will, this matter of self- reliance was glanced at, but it is so vital an element in the training of character that it deserves further study. Self-reliance springs from self-confidence, and self-confidence results from successful effort. Apply this reasoning to your own adult life, and you will see how absolutely true it is. For instance, you may be like a friend 83 84 Character Training in Childhood of mine who is full of original, sound ideas, but who can never be induced to voice these ideas in public. She shrinks behind the per- son next to her, murmuring, "Oh no, it scares me horribly to talk before anyone. You doit." Now this is an exhibition of dependence ridiculous in any grown person. This clever woman wants others to speak for her, be- cause she lacks confidence in her ability to speak clearly and well herself. And she thinks she cannot speak acceptably because she has never made the effort successfully. If she would once summon her will to make the effort, the chances are that she would succeed, would gain self-confidence, and would never again ask someone else to do her speaking for her. "Nothing succeeds like success.'' The man, woman, or child who has once done anything whatever, success- fully, gains a feeling that he will do it suc- cessfully next time, and the person who ex- pects to succeed has taken an important step toward succeeding. CULTIVATE SELF-RELIANCE Self-confidence springs from successful effort and wise praise. f^s. "Help" the baby by letting him help himself The child who shares in the work and responsibility of the home will become the man who shares in the social and civic work. of the community: .. . Cultivate Self-Reliance 85 Apply this same reasoning to children. No child will ever become self-reliant unless he is given opportunity to gain self-confi- dence by doing things. No matter if his early efforts are imperfect. Let him keep on until he succeeds. One winter I had charge of a little girl of seven years who was amiable and lovable, but sadly lacking in will power and self-re- liance. She was the youngest of her family and had, accordingly, been "babied" to an extent which increased her inherent weak- ness. Her mother spoke to her and of her as "Baby" and evidently considered her in- fantine and not to be held responsible in any way. During the time that little Helen was with me, I tried to see that no one did for her anything that she was in the least capable of doing for herself. If she pleaded that she "didn't know how," she was carefully shown, her efforts sympathetically encour- aged, and her final triumph warmly ap- plauded. 86 Character Training in Childhood I found it necessary also to attack the problem from another angle. One day Helen said to me rather wistfully, " Babies are much cunninger than little girls, aren't thev?" "Oh yes," I replied, "perhaps they are. We don't expect people to be 'cunning' after they stop being babies; but I think little girls are ever so much nicer and more fun. You do so much to help me and we have such good times together, — I'm ever so glad that you aren't a baby." And as I put my arm around her, she smiled into my face, — the wistfulness replaced with a look of proud and happy responsibility. I mention this little scene because in many families the baby is so petted and praised that the older children are very likely to cast a wistful glance backward and sigh for the privileges of babyhood. It is very im- portant that every child should feel that added years mean added freedom and ap- preciation, — not merely added work and re- sponsibility. Cultivate Self-Reliance 87 The cultivation of self-reliance is a matter not of days, but of months and years, yet it is surprising what progress a child will make in this respect, once he is thoroughly imbued with a desire to be independent. When Helen had been with us for a few months, she not only dressed herself and, with a little supervision, bathed herself, but she made her own bed, and, with some assistance in the matter of the carving knife, could make the toast and cocoa for her luncheon. In- stead of wanting to play "baby" and be con- sidered cunning, she took great pride in showing how much she could do and how little help she needed. While, as I said, some children seem to be born independent and self-reliant, most children's instincts in that direction will wither away unless they are given scope. I well remember a friend's exclamation, "How self-reliant Helen is! Why our Bobbie, who is the same age, could no more peel his own orange, as she does, he would make a perfect mess of it, and as for mak- 88 Character Training in Childhood ing his own toast, I'm sure he'd set himself afire. ' ' The truth was that, as I have said, Helen was naturally very dependent, of a clinging, "•soft" nature, and that Bobbie was by na- ture more sturdy and independent than she. But Bobbie's mother was a nervous, appre- hensive, devoted soul, who hovered over Bobbie always ready to "help" him, impa- tient with his slow little fingers, her own nimble ones always itching to take their place. She "couldn't wait" for Bobbie to do things, it was far easier to do them her- self. Besides she was nervous and fearful. If Bobbie climbed up to reach his ball from the shelf, he might fall; if he removed the dishes from the table, he might drop them; if he peeled his apple, he might cut him- self. And so Bobbie's natural independence was curbed, his fingers remained clumsy for lack of exercise, he gained no self-confidence, because instead of expecting to succeed, he was told that he would surely fail and that someone older had better do it for him. Cultivate Self-Reliance 89 Madame Montessori tells a delightful story of a tiny boy who was eager to watch what was going on in her school, but could not see over the heads of the other children. "His eye lighted on a little chair, and evi- dently he made up his mind to place it be- hind the group of children and then climb up on it. He began to move toward the chair, his face illumined with hope, but at that moment the teacher seized him brutally (or, perhaps, she would have said, gently) in her arms, and lifting him up above the heads of the other children showed him the basin of water, saying, 'Come, poor little one, you shall see too.' — The little fellow had been about to feel himself a conqueror, and he found himself held within two im- prisoning arms, impotent. The expression of joy, anxiety and hope faded from his face and left on it the stupid expression of the child who knows that others will act for him.' , This is a very simple little anecdote, but it admirably illustrates the way in which we 90 Character Training in Childhood unconsciously check our children's educa- tion and development, by giving them what they want to get for themselves. We f orgiet that it is not having, but doing, that makes for happiness and strength. We forget that we can never teach our children to do, by doing for them, but only by allowing them to do for themselves. It is as if we expected them to acquire the art of swimming without ever going into the water or even practising the strokes. This well-meant, clumsy kindness of par- ents and grownups in general, robs our chil- dren of the " joy of conquest." It deprives them of that sense of power which comes from successful effort. It makes them weaklings, dependent on the service or favor of others,' unfit to play their part in a de- mocracy where every man should stand on his own feet. There are, therefore, three reasons why we must train our children, from infancy, to perform as many actions as possible for themselves. Cultivate Self -Reliance 91 In the first place, it will make them far happier during their childhood and far better equipped to make their own happi- ness in manhood. Secondly, it will give them a self-confidence and proficiency which will serve them well throughout life. Thirdly, it will make them truly democratic, ashamed to depend upon the services or the favors of others, hating the thought of para- sitism in any of its forms. Mothers long to keep their babies. They sigh at the growing independence of the tiny boy or girl. "Let mother do it for you, dar- ling," is the wistful cry of the mother who sees her baby fast turning into a self-suffi- cient boy. It does hurt to feel that we are no longer needed, — but after all, is not that what all motherhood, all friendship, all service means, — namely, the showing those whom we serve how to serve themselves? The teacher is glad to promote her pupils. Their promotion is a sign of her success. The true doctor promotes hygiene and looks 92 Character Training in Childhood forward to the time when doctors may be almost unnecessary. The social worker is eager to get her proteges "on their feet," that they may be independent of her aid. Just so the mother must forget self in re- joicing to see her child's growing independ- ence. She must learn, as Montessori says, to treat him not like a doll, when he is, in reality, "a man confided by nature to her care." Ill GROWTH THROUGH PLAY CHILDREN NEED PLAY Next to hunger, the play-impulse is the most deeply rooted of all the child 's instincts. We speak of the " play-life" of children, but the term is a mistaken one, for the child's play is his life. A child who does not play is ill, either physically or mentally, and very ill, for even the pale little inmates of the hospital are eager for such play as their slender strength permits. In this passion for play, the child is like all young creatures. The starving kitten, once warmed and fed, will respond to a coax- ing forefinger by a feeble, but playful pass with her paw. The puppy will even leave his dinner to join in a game of ball. Among all the higher animals, infancy is a time of play, and the higher in the scale the animal, the longer is this play-time. Among the less evolved animals, play 95 96 Character Training in Childhood seems to be unknown. So far as we can un- derstand them, insects, fishes, and for the most part, birds, do not play, — although I have known pet parrots and a pet toucan who hugely enjoyed playing with their mas- ter. Similarly, if you visit an institution for the feeble-minded, you will find that, below a certain grade of mentality, the ability to play is lacking. And you will also find that in such institutions, play is the great method of education and development. Let us consider just what it is that play does for our children. Its first and most obvious effect is on the child's body. The baby spends most of his waking hours in play, flinging his spoon down that you may pick it up, and when he is older, trotting up and down the hall play- ing "choo-choo," inventing a thousand dif- ferent ways of exercising his body and train- ing his muscles. Some years ago Professor Curtis, examining a large number of chil- dren, found that the toddlers from three to Children Need Play 97 six years old covered in a day the amazing distance of 9% miles. If one watches a small child for half an hour, one is convinced that perpetual motion is not a myth, but the everyday performance of the American youngster. It is absolute cruelty to make a small child sit still for any but a very short period of time. His whole body cries out for the ex- ercise without which it cannot keep health, gain strength, or acquire skill. Even among older children, frequent play periods should alternate with study hours. Play is Na- ture's method of education and we interfere with it at our peril. Perhaps the most serious indictment of child labor is not that it keeps children out of school, but that it prevents their playing. When Mrs. Browning denounced the evils of child labor in England, seventy years ago, she based her appeal on the child's divine right to play: — "The young lambs are bleating in the meadows; The young birds are chirping in the nest ; 98 Character Training in Childhood The young fawns are playing with the shadows ; The young clouds are blowing toward the west — But the young, young children, my brothers, They are weeping bitterly ! — They are weeping in the playtime of the others, In the country of the free." But great as are the evils of child labor in stunting bodies, cramping minds and warping characters, we must not lose sight of the "poor little rich girl" whose body, mind and character are almost equally starved not by work, but by idleness. It is really an open question whether the lad who works in a factory, but plays ball vigorously during his noon hour, is not better off, physi- cally, mentally and morally than the " gilded youth" who lolls on the apartment house steps gossiping with the janitor, or lounges on the corner waiting for something to dis- pel his boredom. No, what our children need is not freedom from work, but oppor- tunity for wholesome play. "But," people often say, "why all this fuss about helping children to play? All children play. It is their nature. Why Children Need Play 99 should a child's parents or teachers provide him with opportunities to do what he will do of his own accord, without their help % ' ' The answer to this very natural question is that of course children will play without help, just as they will eat without help, but that we train our children to eat what they should and as they should, and in equal measure we should train them to play games that will give them bodily, mental and spiri- tual help and to play in the right way. Left to himself, the small boy's play is likely to mean torment for the cat, exaspera- tion for the family, and a training in wan- ton destruction for himself. I know a very active and energetic little girl who, at the age of three or four was left very much to her own devices, as her mother did not ap- prove of entertaining her. But she took no pains to supply the restless brain and active body with any suitable material upon which to work. The result was that little Grace, a really charming child, was a source of ter- ror to all her mother's friends. She could 100 Character Training in Childhood not be left alone for a moment, lest the glass- ware, bedspread, wall-paper or other fur- nishings should be destroyed. At five, Grace was sent to kindergarten, where, sup- plied with proper materials and given a chance for right play, she became a "star pupil." Among older children, the tendency to mischief and destruction is much less, — though many a city ash-barrel hurled upon its side, can testify to the survival of this spirit in the growing lad. The boy's tend- ency is to play too limited a range of games. Every boy plays baseball, but a large per- centage can neither swim, skate, row, wres- tle, box nor hit a target. Moreover, many a bookish lad and an even larger number of girls prefer quiet, indoor games, which often give good mental training, but provide no vigorous bodily exercise. Another strong reason for helping the child to right play is that children, left to themselves, frequently develop a tendency to evade the rules of the game and to plume Children Need Play 101 themselves on successful deception. A wise elder can overcome this by making it clear that no game can be successfully played un- less all the players abide by the rules. Thus the play which formerly was direct training in slyness becomes a mode of training in hon- esty, fair play and cooperation. GUIDE THE PLAY OF CHILDREN If we are to guide our children aright in this most vital matter of play, we must un- derstand the successive stages of the child's mental development and how best to meet his needs at each stage. By this I do not mean that the too-anxious parent should stand over his child superin- tending his play, — such constant supervision is far worse than no guidance at all. What is needed is that we comprehend our chil- dren's developing play-instincts and supply them with opportunity for gratifying those instincts. Be assured that if we do not pro- vide proper material for such instincts to work upon, the child himself will find im- proper material. I have in mind two mothers of my ac- quaintance, each the proud possessor of a small boy " going on two." Mrs. X. admits 102 GUIDANCE OF PLAY f. Work with Nature- not against it. Encourage play that: aces Develops muscles and senses, about l^~ 3 Lays foundation for imagination, Gives basis for self confidence. Trams in loyalty and fairness, 3-6 0-11 11 + Choose plaything's thai stimulate the imagination to act. Choose games thai develop the child. Guide the Play of Children 103 that she is "driven almost crazy by Bob's mischief/' He runs all over the house in- vestigating bureau drawers, turning on fau- cets, emptying her cologne bottle, and dash- ing china on the floor in order to hear the delightful crash. Mrs. Y.'s little Tom is equally active and equally interested in all the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of this boundless and en- trancing world. But Mrs. Y. understands Tom. She knows that during these first three years of his life he must learn more than in any of the years that follow. She knows that his muscles fairly cry aloud for exercise, his eyes and ears are strained to catch every sight and sound, that his fin- gers ache to clutch and feel and that his baby brain yearns passionately to know. But Mrs. Y. prefers to provide Tom's educa- tional material rather than to let Tom find it in bureaus and china closets. When I visited her the other day, the house was so silent that I thought Tom must be asleep. Not at all, — he was seated on 104 Character Training in Childhood the kitchen floor with a glass pint jar, an iron spoon and a small pile of rice. An expression of intense earnestness as he care- fully put each spoonful of rice into the jar changed to a smile of delight as he poured it in a tinkling cataract from the jar into his tin pail. On another day, he spent a full hour put- ting a stick of macaroni through the holes in a cane-seated chair, through the wide meshes in the window-curtains, and through a series of spools. In Tom's backyard, there is a sand-pile provided with discarded kitchen ware. There is also a firmly fixed ladder of three steps and a low swing. For indoor play he has a variety of bottles, spools and blocks of differing sizes and colors, a ball for throw- ing and a football for kicking, and most cherished of all, a much-battered doll, soft, washable and comforting to take to bed with one. When he wants to "make music," he is not given a spoon and a tin pan, but adult ears are spared and his own trained by al- f Guide the Play of Children 105 lowing him to pound on a xylophone with a padded stick. The eminent psychologist, William James, has pointed out that every instinct has a time for flowering and that if the instinct is hampered at this time, it will never again de- velop to its full power. So with the child. If during the first three years, which were meant to be filled with muscular activity, with investigation of sights, sounds, tastes, feelings and smells, the baby is thwarted or has access to only a limited range of objects, he is forever the loser. These are the years which, in Nature's school, are devoted to muscle and sense training. Let us work with Nature who supplies the instinct, by supplying the materials. The years from three to six are those when the imagination becomes most active, — when the desire to imitate, to dramatize, to "make believe," is uppermost. From six to eleven comes the age of grow- ing self-confidence, the age which Joseph Lee so appropriately calls the "Big Injun" 106 Character Training in Childhood age, when the child measures his skill against that of his mates, when every con- versation is an argument and every game a contest. And at about eleven years, the senses hav- ing been trained, the imagination kindled and the self-confident will developed, comes the dawn of the last and highest form of play, — the play that lasts as long as life it- self and that trains the child to live in a socialized world. In team-play, the boy and girl realize themselves as parts of a larger whole, existing not merely for their own pleasure, but for the common good, playing not for self but for their "side." If we once fully realize that play is Na- ture's method of education, her method of preparation for life, we see that play is the most serious thing in child life. That is why children take it so seriously. Watch boys building a snow fort, or girls tending their dolls and note the dead-earnestness of their faces, the intense seriousness with which they conduct this vital business. Guide the Play of Children 107 With grown people, play is recreation, re- laxation from the effort of work, but with children play takes the place that congenial work takes with men and women. In fact, congenial work is the play of the man, just as play is the work of the child. Edison has been credited with saying that he has never done a day's work in his life, — so filled is he with the play spirit. Perhaps the best reason for seeing that the child has, at each stage of his develop- ment, a full, rich and satisfying life of play, is so that he may preserve into manhood the play-spirit, — so that he may never cease to play, but find in his life-work the same soul-satisfaction that he found in his boy- ish games. The child who has never had the right sort of play is likely to become the man who takes no pleasure in work. It was a wise man who said, "The child without a playground is father to the man without a job!" THE MAKE-BELIEVE OF THE CHILD The child of three is no longer content with merely exercising his muscles by aim- less kicking, climbing and running, or with mere seeing, hearing and feeling for the sake of gratifying his curiosity. If he climbs, he is now a monkey at the zoo. If he runs, he is an automobile or a "choo- choo. ' ' The dishpan, which in his babyhood was merely a source of pleasing noise, now becomes a drum and the scarlet table-cloth which formerly attracted him merely by its brilliant color, forms a delightful tent un- der which he can hide. The years from three to six are those in which the imagination, — most priceless of all man's possessions, — is most developed. It has been truly said that if you can train a child for the first seven years of his life, you will have given his character a "set n J5 iSlliXX etc LCJ. iX OCl IMAGINATIVE PLAY To imitate and to "find out g'ives the child sympathy with the world about him. i Not to"look like" but toTeel" and "be like" someone. Children's dancing and singing develops their sense of music and art. Imaginative play develops under- standing and creative power. The Make-Believe of the Child 109 that no later training can undo. This is so because a man 's life is largely determined by his imagination and his imagination is largely determined before he is seven years old. This may sound like rather a sweeping statement, but the experience of anyone who carefully watches a developing child will bear it out. During these early years, the child is rehearsing, as it were, his future part in the world-drama. And as he is a born actor, he copies faithfully the figures in his little world. But he is no mere mimic like his brother, the monkey, who copies only the outward actions of men. His imagination carries him completely out of himself and, for the moment, he actually is a bear, an express train, or an Indian. So real are the creatures of the child's imagination that often they refuse to die with the passing of his childhood, but per- sist, though more dimly, throughout his life. I know a woman of forty who says that most of her casual acquaintances are less real to 110 Character Training in Childhood her even now, than the dolls whom she once endowed with life. The child feels cramped by the narrow bounds of his own personality. Uncon- sciously, he longs to enter into the larger life of humanity and he fulfils this longing by giving his imagination rein and so be- coming, for a time, the grocer, the conductor, the policeman, his own father, and each of the figures that make up his world. Watch a child and you may gather a very fair idea of his or her habitual associates. Children are mirrors in which we may see faithful reflections of ourselves. I vividly remember once playing "house" with a small boy, a new acquaintance, who, in his role of father amazed and puzzled me by say- ing, "Now I'll make believe 'rush the growler.' " With which, he picked up my tin pail and went off to a saloon in the fence- corner. Such conduct on the part of fathers was a novelty. Where in the world had Julius seen a father that acted that way? I wondered. The Make-Believe of the Child 111 And this brings me to the practical plea that I wish to make in dealing with this matter of the childish imagination. We owe to our children a chance to embody in their play not the ugly and sordid, but the lovely and true. When they are older, they will perforce see, all too soon, the seamy side of life, but while they are in the sensitive, formative years of earliest childhood, while they are unconsciously looking for models to copy, let us strive to give them the most beautiful ones possible. This means not merely that parents should be loving and courteous and that the child's companions should be desirable, but that his toys should be artistic, not grotesque nor vul- gar. It means that the inane vulgarities of the comic supplement and the " custard-pie comedy" should be abolished. They are an insult to the child's intelligence and they are poison to his imagination. "But," many parents will say, " Johnnie just loves the comic supplement." It is true that Johnnie often does, just as many 112 Character Training in Childhood grown people find a horrible fascination in reading the details of sensational murders. Unfortunately, there is a perverse streak in human nature that makes most of us hanker after unwholesome things. But five year old Johnnie's love of mince pie is no rea- son for allowing him to eat it. Nor is his morbid pleasure in grotesque toys, stories like Bluebeard, and hideous or silly pictures a reason for allowing his imagination to feast on them. As I have said, our first duty is to sur- round our children with wholesome food for imitation, — which is one of the first forms taken by imagination. Our next duty is that of aiding, or at least respecting, their imaginative play. When the small girl urges you to buy some of her mud pies, it is really cruel to say, "For goodness sake, child, don't bring that mud in here." Why not reply, "They do look delicious with all that chocolate icing on them; but I'm afraid the crumbs will spoil my carpet. Suppose you lay them The Make-Believe of the Child 113 aside for me on your bakery-shelf and I'll call for them when I go marketing. " Such an answer will spare your floors and at the same time make your small daughter feel that you understand and enter her world. For we must remember that children cannot enter our world, — it is we who must enter theirs. The great trouble with parents and grown- ups generally is that they have forgotten how they felt when they were children. They have forgotten that play, to the child, is a vitally serious thing, and that to laugh at or destroy his play-creations is absolutely cruel. We adults, too, have our moments of disillusionment, when a cynical, super-adult voice seems to whisper, ' ' Silly child ! Why are you working so hard to paint that pic- ture, to write this book, to build up this business ? Do you not see that it can never really be what you dreamed? Why waste your life on a useless vision?'' Any adult who has had such moments of disillusion, — and who has not? — should realize just what 114 Character Training in Childhood he is doing when he laughs at the child's no less real play. Yes, imagination is the divine faculty which enables man to see beneath the sur- face of things, to understand their inner reality and so to become one with them. It is the basis not merely of art and invention, on the mental side, but of sympathy and religion on the spiritual side of our natures. Then let us feed our children's minds and souls with beautiful imaginings as we feed their bodies with pure, strengthening food. Let us encourage them to act out in little dramas the stories they read and hear. Let the family circle be a focus around which its members weave stories and even write verses and chant songs. Childhood is all too brief and unless we make the most of its imaginings, we shall continue to have, as we have now, a race whose children are poetic, but whose men and women are hopelessly heavy and stolid. CONSTRUCTIVE PLAY A wise writer on childhood and its ways has pointed out that there is but one way to understand children, and that is to think your way back through the mists of time and to remember how you yourself felt, as a child. Most of us do, indeed, "put away childish things," — put them so far away that we have lost the key to our children's minds. If we all remembered vividly our own childhood, we should not be surprised and annoyed when Willie pulls his mechanical toy apart so as to use the wheels in making a wabbly wagon of his very own. Nor should we wonder that Agnes, after a few hours, throws aside her expensive talking doll and is found nursing a towel rolled into the semblance of a baby. Willie and Agnes know what we once knew, but what, alas, the years have taught 115 116 Character Training in Childhood us to forget, — that it is not having but mak- ing that is life's greatest joy. It is true that children, like grown-ups, are dazzled for a moment by the glories of the toy-shop and will eagerly plead for every toy in sight, but, once possessed, no toy will be long valued unless the child himself can do or make something with it. At Christ- mas time the shops are full of mechanical toys, monkeys that climb up one side of a stick and down the other, dancing bears, revolving Ferris-wheels, and hundreds of other elaborate machines for doing one thing over and over. If we grown-ups remembered our own childhood, these toys that merely amuse for an instant would vanish and in their place the shops would sell fewer, but more lasting toys. They would offer toys with which the child could do something, — blocks, balls, crayons, paints, tools, dolls that can be un- dressed, horses than can be unharnessed and put into the stable, soap-bubble pipes, skates, bows and arrows, — any and every sort of toy CONSTRUaiVE PLAY How the building instinct shapes the child. Not things made for them- but things they make themselves insure growth. Constructive play fulfills innate desire for action and inveniioaand §ves ability for work with mind and hands. Constructive Play 117 that the child can really use, not merely sit and look at. Here again, the "poor little rich girl" is at a disadvantage. I recall once seeing on the street a pile of builder's sand in which a swarm of ill-clad, but gleeful youngsters were having a glorious play. The boys had erected a castle and were triumphantly planting the stars and stripes on its sum- mit. The girls, with a variety of old bot- tles and tin cans, were playing at grocery- store. And the smaller ones were bliss- fully engaged in making sand-pies, with peb- bles for raisins and twigs for citron. Past this enchanting scene of happy ac- tivity walked a small maiden, about five years old, dragging an expensive toy mounted on wheels. She herself was dragged by an absent-minded nursegirl. As they passed the gates of Eden, the poor child stretched out a longing hand. "Look, Nora, what lovely sand! Let's play here instead of in the park." But Nora was deaf. "Oh, no, darlin', the 118 Character Training in Childhood sand's all dirty. The park is ever so much nicer for little girls." And off the wistful little figure was dragged, to sit on the park bench or to drag her stupid toy along the asphalt walks. Of course, the ideal play-place for chil- dren is the country, — largely because it of- fers to the child an inexhaustible supply of materials. It contains more tovs, usable in J 7 more ways, more endlessly fascinating, than all the toy-shops in the world. There is the brook to be dammed in summer and the pond to be skated on in winter. There are the trees to climb and to build play-houses in. There are delightful caves in which to play Indians. There are cones, seed-pods, moss and twigs, which can be turned into the most delightful furnishings for the doll-house marked out with stones under the apple- tree. One can make spears from cat-tails and whistles from the willow tree. And what more delightful than a corn-cob doll, with such lovely, silky, brown hair? But, alas, many of us cannot take our chil- Constructive Play 119 dren to the country. What shall we do about it? In the first place, it is usually possible to give even the city child far more country- ■play than he gets. Why not, on Sunday afternoon, trolley out into the country and come home laden with horse-chestnuts, acorns, cones, and such other play-material as the children's sharp eyes are sure to dis- cover ? " And clutter up the whole house with rub- bish?" the tidy housewife will exclaim. "Not necessarily so," I reply, for the chil- dren can and should be taught to care for their possessions and clear them away after they have finished playing. But even if the "rubbish" is somewhat disturbing to the household neatness, is it not better to have a slightly disordered house than to have a set of dull, unimaginative, listless children who can invent nothing and who have no re- sources within themselves? In his delightful play, "The Admirable Crichton," Barrie pictures the shipwreck 120 Character Training in Childhood upon a desert island of an aristocratically helpless English family and their butler. The family, accustomed from infancy to merely "push the button" of life, are be- wildered by their unaccustomed plight. They know not what to do and turn for guidance to the butler, Crichton, who takes the helm, lays all the plans and sets the oth- ers to work. It is frankly a caricature, but it is based on solid truth, the truth that you cannot do everything for a child, — even his playing, — and expect him to become a self-reliant, or- iginal man. Therefore, not merely because your child will be happier, but because he will be stronger, more inventive, more imaginative, more skilful, let his toys be such as he can make, or can at least use. Before we buy a toy, let us ask, "How much can my child really get out of this plaything? Will he tire of it tomorrow, throw it aside, and so be trained in fickleness and waste? Or is it something that will be a real tool for him to Constructive Play 121 use in countless ways? Is it something upon which he can exercise his skill and power and that will be a means to more power?" Unless a toy will stand this test, it would better be left on the toy-shop shelf. I know of a family of children who had numberless beautiful toys, but their chief joy was an old rounded trunk-lid. With a broom-stick mast, they sailed away to the orient, rocking delightfully over calm seas, or pitching frightfully in a hurricane. The make- believe cargo of silks and spices that they brought back from their voyage was a joy to them. It was not until years afterward that they realized the more precious cargo of imagination, inventiveness, and joy in making that they had gained from their play. COOPERATIVE PLAY By the time a boy or girl is about eleven years old, the senses and muscles should be fairly well trained, the imagination actively developed, and a sense of self-confidence es- tablished. At this age, games of imagina- tion and contests in strength and skill are still popular, but it is, above all else, the team-game that now holds sway. Anyone who has tried it knows how hard it is to get a group of ten-year-olds to "pull together.'' Each one wants to be "boss.' ! Each one wants to assert his own superior- ity. Partners in the croquet game will wrangle instead of playing into each others' hands, and the game of ball usually ends in a violent quarrel between the pitcher and catcher. This is perfectly natural because the players are still in the stage of develop- ment where they are uncertain of their own 122 GROUP PLAY In good gYoup plays children un- consciously share common interests. A This miniature Commonwealth is no stronger than its weakest member. Anti-social, because the gain of one is at the expense of others. **« *L !^7 *\| q-M I tv Team games give opportunity for-- Physical growth. Self control, planning and judgement. Fairness and co-operation. Cooperative Play 123 strength and feel the need of constantly asserting it. Emerson has wisely said, ' ' There must be very two, before there can be very one." The ten-year-old is still engaged in clearly proving to himself and to the world his strength and value as an individual. He is not yet ready to become ' ' very one ' ' with his fellow-players. But as adolescence casts its shadow before, the boy and girl slowly be- come socialized. The boy, instead of engag- ing in single combat with a rival, joins a baseball team and plays not for his own glory, but for the ''home-team." The girls who used to delight in tag and blind man's buff are now playing basketball or tennis. Perhaps the truest test of real physical, mental and moral maturity is the ability to work with others, to sink self in a common effort for a common good. I recall — as doubtless most people can — a man of rather unusual talents, well educated in the ac- cepted sense of that much-abused word, but, for the real purposes of life, a failure. And 124 Character Training in Childhood why? Simply because he could not "get on" with others, could not see their point of view, could not subordinate his own person- ality. He did not "play the game." He did not stand by his fellow workers. He thought and worked not for the common good, but for his own special ends. I did not know that man during his boy- hood, but I am willing to wager that he was always a "poor sport. " He is mentally and spiritually still in the eleven-year-old stage, where personal prowess and individual achievement seem the most important thing's in life, and where the greater glory of co- operative effort is uncomprehended. I wonder when we shall fully realize that our children learn more from their play- mates than from their teachers and that the playground wields a far mightier influence than the school. Joseph Lee, than whom no one understands better the spirit of play, has rightly pointed out that errors on the ball field are condemned with a promptness and vigor which, in the school room, would be Cooperative Play 125 considered downright cruel. Children will take, from each other, rebukes that no teacher would dream of giving. On the playground there is no "bluffing." If you play the game well, you are "all right." If you don't, you are "no good." If you are honest and work hard for your side, you are a "good sport." If you do not, you are jeered from the playground as a "muff" or a "piker." There is no better training in skill, courage, perseverance and cooperative- ness than the playground, and no stricter teachers than a child's own playmates. One sometimes sees a parent blame a child for too great earnestness at play. A gentle mother, smoothing the fevered brow of her wildly excited son, will exclaim, "You have run yourself almost to death. Don't get so excited, dear. It's only a game." "Only a game" and yet it was on the cricket fields of England that her sons learned to "carry on." It is on the play- grounds of America that her future citizens are learning how to use their muscles and 126 Character Training in Childhood senses, how to be keen, alert and swift, how to dream and sing and dance and create art, how to build and invent, how to pull to- gether, how to forget self and become part of a larger unity. Let us, in each stage of our children's growth, provide opportunity for the unfold- ing self to realize its fullest development. Let us entertain our children less, but let them really play more. Children do not need theaters, motion pictures, parties, elaborate diversions — they need self-expres- sion through play. If we give them a chance for such self-expression, we shall have in the next generation, more art, more invention, more of the religion of democ- racy. IV GROWTH THROUGH STUDY TRAIN THE SENSES At what age should education begin % This question, so often asked, arises from a false notion of what the word "education" means. We confuse the terms "education'' and "instruction." Instruction is the giv- ing of information. Education, as a wise man has said, is "learning how to live." If we realize that education is learning how to live, it is evident that education must begin as soon as life begins, and continue to the end of life. Education begins, not at the school-house door, but in the cradle. The first step in learning any trade is to become acquainted with its tools. The first step in learning the trade of living is to become acquainted with its tools — our senses — and the outer world, the material upon which they work. Of course Mother Nature, first and best of 129 130 Character Training in Childhood teachers, sees to it that every normal baby shall begin to use his senses as soon as he enters the world. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth and finger tips are busily occupied in inves- tigating everything within reach or sight. "Why, then, need parents and teachers con- cern themselves about training children's senses? For the reason that here, as else- where, Nature's training is likely to be ir- regular, hasty, rough-and-ready. We, how- ever, want our children to form a lasting habit of observation, to be accurate in test- ing their surroundings, and to get the great- est possible amount of joy out of them. The child whose senses have been trained only by Nature's hit-or-miss methods usu- ally grows into the man or woman who is unobservant, inaccurate, and who therefore takes but little aesthetic pleasure in the beau- tiful sights and sounds all around us. Most of us hardly realize how extremely unobservant and inaccurate we are until some special occasion arises to test us. In his interesting and suggestive book, ' ' On the TO MAKE THE SENSES EFFICIENT The senses are the gates by which impressions enter the child's mind. Sense training widens these gates. > , 1 Train the Touch Train the Ear to know differences in form, weight, texture and quality to make accurate distinctions in sounds. Train the Eye to know color, size. form and distance. Success demands sense training NC-.1 *■ Train the Senses 131 Witness Stand," Professor Miinsterberg de- scribes test after test made by him upon his students, to determine the extent and accu- racy of their powers of observation. His sad conclusion was that, even among sup- posedly intelligent college men, scarcely one in a hundred had ever learned to use his eyes or ears for quick, accurate observation and comparison. Thus, upon one occasion, he asked his class to observe and report every action made by him during the ensuing three min- utes, or so. He then, with his right hand, performed various acts, keeping his eyes fixed on this hand, while, with his left he opened his match box, closed it with a loud click, etc. None of the students gave a com- plete report, while a number of them had not seen anything that he did with his left hand. This was but one in a long series of experiments all going to show that the aver- age person only half -uses his senses and can never be trusted really to see anything, even if it is "right under his nose," as we say. 132 Character Training in Childhood With the senses as the basis of all our knowledge, and with these senses so utterly unreliable, how can we expect our vaunted 11 education" to be thorough or correct? Since, then, sense-training is the first step in mind-training, how shall we begin this sense-training in our children ? From earliest infancy, the baby should be provided with a number of objects of differ- ing sizes, shapes, colors and texture. He should also have a variety of sound-produc- ing articles, such as a soft rattle, a soft, mu- sical bell, a tin box containing small pebbles or buttons, another of wood, a tiny music box, etc. Care should be taken that these toys produce pleasing sounds, not ear-split- ting, discordant noises. In choosing colors, also, the simple, gay, primary colors should be selected, such as are used in the Kindergarten, for the child does not begin consciously to compare and discriminate between the various shades until the second or third year. Train the Senses 133 Later, when this instinct for comparison begins to show itself, comes the time for such material as is provided by the Kindergarten, or the Montessori teacher. Luckily for the mother who lives far from any school, this material can be purchased for home use, and much of it can be made at home by any clever set of fingers. Gradations of color may be learned by means of colored Kindergarten papers, or by the cards wound with colored silk which Montessori uses, in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, brown, and black (shad- ing from grey to white). Each color is given in eight shades. My memory travels back to the days when, as an alleviation to the mumps, I was al- lowed to explore my aunt's embroidery bag. Oh, what a joy to lay out the shining strands of silk, to arrange them in order, to stroke their satiny smoothness, to see which ar- rangement of color was prettiest. Montes- sori was undreamed of in those days, but her 134 Character Training in Childhood "material" was as potent then as now to arouse and feed the instinct for color and beauty. Little children delight in color " games," each child choosing a color and seeing which one can most quickly gather the cards of his color and arrange the shades in order. Or one child may be "it" and deal the colors around, giving each child only his own color, until he makes a mistake, when another child is "it." When I was older, I remember a delight- ful game where someone would suddenly call, "I see something green." Then we would all gaze around trying to discover all the green things in sight and guess which one it was. The successful guesser would then choose something of another color and so the game would go on until our inactive muscles called for exercise and we were off for a game of tag. The sense of touch is trained in both kin- dergarten and the Montessori system by a variety of material of various textures. Train the Senses 135 The children are taught to wash the hands often, so that the finger tips may be sensi- tive. Then the eyes are closed and the en- tire mind concentrated in the pink fingers which explore every surface and angle, as a blind person does. Madame Montessori says, "They are very proud of seeing with- out eyes, holding out their hands and crying, 'Here are my eyes!' 'I can see with my hands!' " In any home, the little ones will love this ' ' Touch and Guess game, ' ' where, with blind folded eyes, they explore and recognize vari- ous objects, or learn, by stroking its surface, to distinguish between the newspaper, a bit of cardboard, and a piece of sand-paper, and between silk, satin, wool, velvet and cotton cloth. Among the Montessori material are wooden insets of varied shapes and sizes, which fit into corresponding holes in a board. These appeal both to the eye and to the sense of touch. Few people realize that, in a little child, the sense of touch is 136 Character Training in Childhood much more developed than that of sight. Our injunction to the little child to "look with his eyes, not his fingers," and our con- stant warning, "Mustn't touch!" go against every grain of the child's nature. He needs to touch in order fully to see. Hence the little child will run his finger along the edge of the triangular inset, feel carefully the edges of the holes in the board and triumphantly put the triangle into its proper hole. If he is not allowed to do this, but must use only his eye as a guide, he is slow and puzzled. Mrs. Fisher, in her de- lightful book, "A Montessori Mother," points out that the child's pleasure in this simple activity is exactly the same — though in an elementary form — as the adult's pleas- ure in a picture puzzle. The sense of hearing may be trained by many charming games. There is the old game of guessing "who is who" by listening to the voices of the players. There are the singing games of the kindergarten. The smaller children will delight in seeing who Train the Senses 137 can hear and name the greatest number of sounds — the clock, the buzzing fly, the wind, a passing cart, the chirp of birds, the drip- ping faucet — all the multitude of unnoticed sounds within and outside the house. The sense of taste and that of smell are less important than the others, but children enjoy tasting and smelling with closed eyes, to see how accurate are their senses. We cannot all send our children to Kin- dergarten or to a "House of Childhood." Perhaps it is not desirable that we should, for the country child has benefits, both phys- ical and spiritual, that the city child must forfeit. But every child can and should receive, in his home, during the years from infancy to six, such training of eyes, ears and finger-tips as will give him the habit of observation, the ability to observe accu- rately, and a real joy in using his senses aright. MAKE THE IMAGINATION SERVICEABLE The years between three and six, as I have already said, are those when the imagination is most active and much depends upon the training which it receives at this time and upon the sort of food with which it is fed. Much depends also upon whether the imagi- nation is frittered away in day-dreaming, or whether it is rendered practical and service- able. We are all familiar with the person whose imagination serves merely to feed his own vanity, who is eternally using his imagina- tion to fool himself. I know a man of this type who spends his time in forming vast projects and whose dream is to be the head of some great movement. He loves, unham- pered by any practical considerations, to outline Utopian schemes for a better uni- 138 Make the Imagination Serviceable 139 verse. But he loftily disclaims any interest in details, — they must be worked out by lesser minds than his. He is proud of being "a man of vision," whereas he is in reality a visionary, selfishly lying on his back ad- miring the mountain-top while others are struggling to find a path to the summit. Now how shall we preserve our children's imaginative vision, and yet see that they do not degenerate into selfish visionaries? How shall we make their imaginations serv- iceable ? For one thing we must help them to dis- tinguish clearly between the inner truths of the Imagination and the outer truths of Fact. We must not let them dwell, like my visionary friend, in the hazy No Man's Land where wishes masquerade as facts, and im- agination takes the place of will-power. For instance, suppose Ruth and Grace start a friendly contest as to which loves Mother more. "I love her hundreds." "I love her thousands." "I love her millions." 140 Character Training in Childhood "I gave her a silk dress.' ' "I gave her an automobile." "I gave her a string of diamonds," — And so on and on until Mother laughingly says, "Oh thank you both so much. Those were perfectly beautiful make-believe presents. Now I wonder which one really wants to do something for me. How about setting the dinner-table?" We must never make light of our chil- dren's fancies, nor crush them by laying the hand of reality too heavily upon them; but we must try, as in the example just given, to see that the generous and charming imag- ination is translated into equally fine action. If Jack loves to fancy himself a knight on a prancing steed, by all means encourage him ; but help him to the real knightly spirit of courtesy, honor, and helpfulness. Help him to make his dream come true. If Kather- ine enjoys playing that she is a queen, do not discourage her dream, but show her that a queen, above others, is expected to be brave, wise and generous. Tell her about the Make the Imagination Serviceable 141 brave, steadfast queen of Belgium and the tender, generous queen of Italy, who helped her stricken people when the earthquake came. Lead her to see that being a queen is not merely a matter of pretty imagin- ings, but of real character. I emphasize so strongly this training in making the imagination a real, vital thing, linked up with actual life, because the pres- ent crisis has shown us how few of our pub- lic men have both vision and practical sense. Those who have imagination are mostly im- practical visionaries; those with judgment and will-power are conservative reaction- aries. Meanwhile, the country cries aloud for the man of truly creative imagination who can make our dream of human broth- erhood come true. It is for those who are training the men of tomorrow to see that their imaginations are made truly service- able to themselves and their fellows. Another aspect of the imagination lies in the fact that active imagination may lead to deceptiveness. Many imaginative chil- 142 Character Training in Childhood dren concoct amazing yarns in order to im- press their playmates. I have a vivid mem- ory of the manner in which, at about seven years old, I strove to impress my social im- portance on my little seat-mate at school by the most unblushing stories about the won- derful jewelry, the gorgeous clothing, the marvelous talking doll, and countless other treasures that were mine. These tales were never told except when Nell and I were alone, so that no grownup checked my per- formances. However, I had, in general, been so drilled in truthfulness, that I soon became ashamed of myself and returned to the paths of veracity. This early experience of my own makes me feel that we should not harshly reprove such imaginative yarns, but neither should we let them go unnoticed. A small girl once said to me, "I have a lovely little brown pony in the country. I can ride him whenever I want to.' ' The impulse of the conscientious, but un- imaginative adult is to answer such a remark Make the Imagination Serviceable 143 by saying, "You have nothing of the kind. Don't you know that it is wicked to tell lies?" But remembering my own j^outhful experience, I could not bring myself to dash her fancy, so I replied, "Now isn't it lovely to have a make-believe pony like that! When I was a little girl of your age, I used to have a make-believe pony, too. Mine was black. What color is yours?" "Mine is brown, with white spots," she gaily answered, "and he eats sugar out of my hand. ' ' And so she went on for half an hour describing all the delightful things she could do with her pony. This is a very simple illustration, but I give it to show how easily one can encourage a child's happy fancies, without for a mo- ment allowing him to confuse truth with falsehood. Little Helen at once, and hap- pily, acquiesced in my assumption that her pony was "make-believe," and any desire that she mav have had to deceive me was dis- armed by my sympathetic chiming-in with her fancy. 144 Character Training in Childhood Helen was an extremely imaginative child and of a secretive disposition, so that her fertile imagination enabled her to frame elaborate falsehoods to cover any fault that she committed. She never, however, con- fused these wilful lies with mere "make- believe. ' ' She knew the difference perfectly well, as any intelligent child does. Right here is where many sympathetic adults make a great mistake. I have re- peatedly heard people say, "All little chil- dren tell lies. Their imaginations are so active that they don't know the difference between make-believe and lying." I am quite sure that anyone who remem- bers his own childhood clearly will deny the truth of this statement. I know that when I "stuffed" Nell with tales of gran- deur, I realized that I was deceiving her, and, though I did not put it into words, I knew that "make-believe" and deceit were two utterly different things. The same thing was true of Helen. One day she told me a marvelous tale about hav- Make the Imagination Serviceable 145 ing ridden on an elephant. I made some laughing reply about having ridden on a make-believe kangaroo, to which she said, "But I really did." I did not reprove her, but merely said, "Oh no, dear, not really. You mustn't say 'really' unless it was really, you know." And she straightway agreed, "Well of course, it wasn't quite really. But once I really did ride on a cow, up in the country. ' ' And often, after that, when she was about to launch on a wild tale, Helen would turn to me and say, "Of course this isn't real, Auntie, it's just make-believe." Nor, when she told stories to cover her naughtiness, did I ever know Helen to be- come confused as to the truth. She knew perfectly well that she was not "making believe," but deceiving. Deceitfulness is a hateful and destructive trait. Imagination may make deceit suc- cessful, but the two qualities have nothing in common. Luckily, children are naturally imagina- 146 Character Training in Childhood tive, but they are not, usually, deceitful un- less they are made so by example, by unwise treatment, or by too harsh punishment or threats of punishment. We must be absolutely truthful ourselves if we expect our children to be so. We must not put them off with thinly veiled lies or quickly broken promises. They should see in their parents an embodiment of that eter- nal truth on which life is based. Secondly, we must not, as I have indi- cated, excuse falsehood or make light of it on the ground that it is merely imagination. Deceit is not imagination and every child knows it. Thirdly, we must beware of frightening the timid child into untruthfulness. False- hood is often the defense of weakness against strength. Therefore our children should al- ways feel that father and mother are sym- pathetic, understanding friends, whom he would no more deceive than he would de- ceive himself. A child so trained in truth by example, Make the Imagination Serviceable 147 sympathy and tenderness will enjoy to the full his imaginative powers without fall- ing into the danger of deceit. If our chil- dren are untruthful, the fault generally lies with ourselves. STUDIES AND LIFE The child whose senses have been trained and whose imagination has been fostered in the home is fitted to make the most of the richer and more varied experiences of school life; but where shall we find the school which will make the most of him f The average parent does not ask himself this question, for the simple reason that he has no choice. He cannot select the school best adapted to his child's special needs; he must perforce send him to the nearest pub- lic school, and let the child adapt himself to it. But sometimes a choice can be made, and in any case it is not fair to "dump" a child into a school and wash one's hands of him, as so many parents do. Justice to both child and school demands that parents shall un- derstand the school's aims and methods and 148 RELATING SCHOOL WORK TO LIFE An efficient school teaches children: How to live .Hygiene Where we live . ..... Geography How to reckon Mathematics How we think Psychology How we communicate .Language _ How things act Physical science How others have lived History What other;; have thought. Literature How to do things. .^. ...-.Manual training How to express beauty. ...The arts How to cooperate- Group work and play ■'i -■- Study to know life and its laws. Studies and Life 149 cooperate with the teachers in every way possible. Every teacher can relate, out of a vast ex- perience, such stories as the one about little Isidor, in whose school practical hygiene was being introduced. One morning his mother sent him to school with the following note: "Deer Teecher, I don't want you should waste time washing Izzie in school. I don't send him to school to get washed, but to get learnt." Few parents express themselves so forci- bly and picturesquely as Izzie 's mother, but are there not multitudes who have an equally false notion of what the school is really try- ing to do with their children ? I am not advocating interference or dic- tation on the part of parents, but surely mothers and fathers should make time to visit the school occasionally, familiarize themselves with its aims and methods, and make friends with the teachers who are molding the minds and souls of their chil- dren. The parent who fails to do this has 150 Character Training in Childhood no right to criticise the school, — much less to uphold the child in such criticism. If we are not interested enough in our own chil- dren to know and help their teachers, we should have the decency to refrain from un- dermining the teacher's influence by taking the child's part against her. One of the most hopeful signs of a better education coming is the fact that Parent- Teacher Associations are springing up all over the country. Parents and teachers, home and school, are learning the magic word, cooperation, and the child will be im- measurably the gainer thereby. Every school in the country should have such a un- ion of school and home, in order that our children, who are units, may be treated as units, and that every good force in their lives may work with united strength for their welfare. His mother is a child's first teacher, and his teacher is often a second mother to him. Is it not the duty of both to "get together," that both may better un- derstand and aid him % Studies and Life 151 And now what have we a right to expect " education" to do for our children*? What is a really efficient school? The answers will be as various as the points of view of the speakers, but there are certain fundamental things which the school should do upon which I believe we all, at heart, agree. For one thing, no school can be called ef- ficient which does not foster health, both by hygienic surroundings and by sound and in- spiring teaching of hygiene. This means airy, or outdoor rooms, cleanliness, suitable furniture, well printed text-books, ample outdoor play-space and a warm luncheon. It means physical examination of each child at least twice a year and follow-up work by the school doctor and nurse. It means plenty of opportunity for gymnastic and other exercises. Lastly, it means teaching the elements of hygiene by some such inter- esting, lively method as that of The Modern Health Crusade, where the whole emphasis is on doing. The school which does not make 152 Character Training in Childhood its children healthier, more interested in health and better equipped to maintain their health cannot be said to educate them in any true sense. Secondly, at the risk of being called old fashioned, I must declare mv conviction that "the three R's" lie at the root of any sound, modern educational effort. The child who does not, before he leaves school, learn to read without conscious effort, express him- self easily and clearly in a properly spelled letter, and perform quickly and correctly the simpler mathematical operations re- mains under a horrible handicap for life. I know that exceptional men have learned to do all these things late in life, but we are not educating exceptional men, but average ones, and the average man who does not learn to spell in school will never learn. On the other hand, the boy who leaves school early, but who has thoroughly mas- tered "the three R V has in his own hands the keys to further and broader education. Studies and Life 153 The school has given him the tools, — it is "up to him" to make use of them. Thirdly, the efficient school must show the child how to study. It must cultivate con- centration, and persistence and accustom the children to the use of dictionaries, encyclo- pedias, and other reference books. In a word, it must show them how to find out the things they wish to know. The immortal "Mr. Dooley" was right when he said, "You can lead a boy to col- lege, but you can 't make him think. ' ' Noth- ing but the boy's own interest and will power can make him think, but the efficient school, instead of stifling the natural impulse to think, as many schools do ; can foster it by interesting material, inspiring teachers, training in how to think effectively. Fourthly, the school must give the child an opportunity to express himself, through original composition, through dramatic reading or acting, through music, art, mod- elling, cooking or manual training. Every 154 Character Training in Childhood branch of school work should be made a means for expressing the child's individ- uality. Even such subjects as spelling and arithmetic can be made to serve this end by allowing the children to make up lists of test words or original problems. In the cooking classes, there is no reason why, hav- ing mastered certain principles, the children should not originate new combinations or dishes. Music, art and dancing are delight- ful and valuable activities, but we make a great mistake in assuming that they are the only, or necessarily the best means of self- expression. Our children need to put them- selves, their own creative impulses, into all they do. Thus shall they turn drudgery into art and learn one of the great secrets of a useful and happy life. Here then are the four main things which we have a right to expect from any efficient school, — any school that is honestly trying to develop and educate its children, to prepare them for life, not merely to in- struct them. Whether we select a private Studies and Life 155 school, or prefer a public one, we should, by our influence and sympathetic cooperation, help that school to foster good health, give the children a thorough grounding in the " elementary" studies, teach them how to study, and develop their powers of origin- ality and self expression. EFFECTIVE THINKING Bronson Alcott, one of the most inspiring of teachers, once said, ' ' Thought means life, since those who do not think do not live in any high or real sense. ' ' How can we, in school and at home, help our children to think effectively, in order that they may live effectively % I think this question can best be answered by pointing out some of the ways in which, all unconsciously, we check and discour- age the child's tendency to think. If we reverse these " things which we ought not to have done,'' we shall gain a better idea of "those things which we ought to have done." Our first capital error is the way in which we meet the eternal questions of the small boy or girl. We usually go to one extreme or the other. Thus, on the railway journey, small Son is 156 WHAT EFFECTIVE THINKING ME ANS IN LIFE li brings order out of chaos Leads to definite plans Prevents drifting Concentrates on the important thing Makes every moment count Cuts off waste motion Keeps one's eye on the goal -..*,.,■ Actual thinking is essential to any leader or captain in every kind of human activity. The child trained io think becomes an efficient man. «U-4i Effective Thinking 157 an animated questionnaire. " Where is this train going?" "What keeps it on the rails?" "Why did that whistle blow?" "What are we stopping for?" "Where do the cinders come from?" "Why can't I lean out of the window?" We all know the parent who ' ' can't be both- ered." He or she sits peacefully reading a magazine and pays no more attention to small Son's questions than if they were the buzzing of a fly on the window-pane. If Son is extremely persistent, Parent finally ex- claims, in exasperated tones, "Do for pity's sake keep quiet and let me read in peace. There, — there's ten cents to buy some gum from the candy man when he comes around. " And having thus effectually stopped Son's mouth and, so far as possible, squelched his thirst for information, Parent, with a sigh of relief, returns to his magazine. Now the desire for knowledge, constantly balked in this way, will eventually die out of Son's breast. He will cease to ask questions, accept all the strange and baffling things in 158 Character Training in Childhood life with a placid lack of inquiry or interest, and will no longer trouble anyone by his in- convenient habit of thinking. At the other extreme is the conscientious, devoted parent who answers every question, attempts to explain everything and does all of Son's thinking for him. To Son's query, "Where do the cinders come from?" Par- ent replies with a careful description of how the engine is run by means of a fire fed with coal and how the cinders are tiny fragments of coal blown back from this fire by the wind. Son may listen to this entire explanation with interest, if it is told clearly and enter- tainingly. The chances are, however, that he will tire before Parent does, will scarcely listen to the whole lecture, and will start thinking up some fresh question. The truth is that by having his thinking done for him in this way Son is being trained away from the habit of thought almost as effectually as if his thinking were being balked and suppressed. Children ask an enormous number of questions from sheer Effective Thinking 159 mental laziness, because it is easier to ask questions than to think things out. To my mind, the only way to make a child think is to refuse to do his thinking for him. Unless Son is very small indeed he must have observed that engines are run by means of a fire fed by coal. His query about the cinders might better have been met there- fore, by asking him, "Well, what do you think about it?" Son, with a moment's thought, will probably arrive at the right conclusion. At any rate, it will do him good to "rack his brains" a bit, and if his ques- tions are met in this way, he will form the habit of really trying to think and frame a reasonable theorv for himself without rush- ing to someone else for information. Brains, like muscles, need exercise, and you can no more develop a child's mind by doing his thinking for him than you can strengthen his legs by letting him lie abed while you take a ten mile walk. Very much akin to this mistake is the fashion that many parents have of deciding 160 Character Training in Childhood and planning everything for their children. My neighbor, Mrs. A., a most capable and strong willed woman, is proud of the sensi- ble, efficient way in which she runs her household. In the morning, I can hear her, through the open windows, marshalling her brood, telling them exactly what to do and arranging everything with admirable sense and foresight. "Put on your blue necktie, George. The red one doesn't go well with that shirt." " Don't forget that library book, Dora. I've put it with the five cents for the fine on the table." " Nellie, before you go, be sure to let me hear your spelling. " And so she goes, on and on, planning, set- tling every point, leaving not a loophole for any of her children, — who range from eight to fourteen years, — to plan or decide for themselves. The mother with "executive ability" of this sort is training her children in dependence, heedlessness and utter lack of effective thinking. She is exercising her powers of judgment, decision and foresight at the expense of theirs. Effective Thinking 161 One of the most vital elements in effective thinking is the power of concentration, the ability to pin one's thought down and not allow it to float away on the tide of distract- ing sights, sounds, or thoughts. Here is where we grownups do a great injustice to our children, for we are constantly distract- ing them and breaking up their chains of thought and action for our own convenience. The baby, instead of being given one toy at a time, is provided with a multitude, so that his wavering attention rambles fitfully in- stead of learning to concentrate itself. The older boy or girl, just as he or she is deeply immersed in some problem of work or play, is more than likely to be called away to per- form some errand. All John's faculties may be centered on his wireless outfit, all Mary's energies may be focused on solving her arithmetic problems, but Mother com- plains that they "pay no attention when she calls. ' : She ought to rejoice at their powers of concentration, instead of regretting the slight inconvenience to herself. 162 Character Training in Childhood I do not know how we expect children to be able to concentrate, when we give them so little chance to do so. Of course it is quite right that both boys and girls should help in the home by running errands and doing reg- ular, set tasks, but they should not be kept "on tap" at all hours, ready to drop what- ever they are doing. Anyone who has ever tried to write, or do any consecutive, con- structive thinking, amid continual interrup- tions, knows how extremely difficult it is, — how the attention, constantly withdrawn, constantly dragged back to the subject in hand, at last flags utterly and refuses to go further. Exactly the same thing happens to a child whose play or work is subject to grown-up interruptions at every moment. If lessons are studied at home, a certain time should be set aside for that purpose and neither play nor other work be allowed to break into the study hour, which is sacred to study and nothing else. A child who is naturally weak in concen- Effective Thinking 163 tration should not be expected to study among a roomful of distracting sights and sounds, but should have a quiet spot, alone if possible, where he is absolutely undis- turbed, and he should be given every incen- tive to prove his concentration by getting his lesson as quickly as possible. Students who master a lesson very rapidly are fre- quently no brighter than others, but they have learned to "work while they work." The child who takes "all day" at his les- sons, as his despairing teacher says, is usually not dull; but he has never learned to control his thoughts, — they control him. Such a boy sits with his book before him, but he hears a fly buzz and looks about to find it. Then he reads a line or two, looks up and catches the eye of a chum, throws a paper wad at him, and dives again into his book. He reads vigorously for a few mo- ments, but a sound in the hall distracts him. He plunges his hand into his jDocket and draws out a string, with which he is soon making a variety of knots. This pleasant 164 Character Training in Childhood occupation is interrupted by the striking of the hour, and our young man complains to his teacher that "the lesson was too long. I studied a whole hour and didn't half finish it." I know that many people will say, "But the secret of getting a child to concentrate is to interest him. He cannot concentrate on what does not interest him, but give him a lesson which will really appeal to him and he will concentrate well enough." There is considerable truth in this argu- ment, but I believe there is an equal amount of error. By all means let us make our chil- dren 's tasks as lively and appealing as possi- ble, but let us never forget that the really strong man is the one who, if a task is set before him, takes interest in it and puts his whole mind and soul into mastering it as speedily as possible. Gilbert Chesterton was right in saying that there are no unin- teresting things in the universe, — there are only uninterested people. Anyone who tackles a problem with his whole, undivided Effective Thinking 165 attention makes it, for the time, the most in- teresting thing in his universe. What we want is not the mere will-less concentration that springs from a fascinat- ing object. We want our children to learn the willed concentration that springs from real mental power. When the boy becomes a man, he will not, as a rule, be offered a number of opportuni- ties from which he has only to select the one that he finds most interesting. He is much more likely to find himself faced with some- thing that must be done, and to discover that his choice lies between doing it half-heart- edly and inefficiently, or doing it interestedly and with all his might. The spirit in which he meets that choice is the test of whether or not he is the master of his own brain. The outcome of that choice will determine his whole future success. DEVELOP SELF-EXPRESSION The final end and aim of all thought and all education is summed up in the word "self-expression," literally the pressing out- ward of that inmost self which lies hidden in each of us. The child learns to read and write in or- der that he may not be limited to speech communication, but may freely send out his thoughts. He studies history and geography that he may o'erleap the bounds of time and space, understanding and sym- pathizing with men of all times and coun- tries. Science widens his horizon still fur- ther, so that his thought may range from the atoms of a dewdrop to the limitless ether of inter-planetary space. Finally, his study of art and music gives an outlet to all his best aspirations and noblest emotions. As expression means the "pressing out- 166 Develop Self -Expression 167 ward" and emotion, the "moving outward" of the child's inner self, so education liter- ally means the "leading outward" of this same inner and real self. Now how can we best help our children to express their best selves? Suppose we take up the varied ways in which the self may find expression. The first and easiest form is, of course, speech. But how many adults are there who express themselves easily, forcibly and in- terestingly in speech % Most of us stumble, hesitate, flounder, searching vainly for the exact word or phrase to convey our thought. Most of us have a few adjectives which we use on every occasion. Everything we ad- mire, from chicken salad to Niagara Falls is "fine," " splendid," " great," " lovely," or " grand." Everything that we dislike is "horrid," "rotten" or "punk." Now this sort of talk cannot be called real self-expression except in a very elementary sense. When the two-year-old calls sugar "dood" and medicine "nassy," it is as full 168 Character Training in Childhood an expression of his feeling as we can ex- pect at his age; but why should the rest of us be content with such limited expression of ourselves? Why have we never learned to convey our real thoughts and feelings 1 I know two young women both of whom had returned from their first sight of the Niagara Rapids. Both were most enthusi- astic. The first one said, "It was too rip- ping for anything. ' ' The second said, ' ' The great white waves came leaping down the river like a pack of vast, white tigers, hun- gry to catch and devour me ! ' ' We slangily speak of "getting something out of one 's system. ' ' Now that is just what self-expression is, and this second girl had actually expressed and gotten out, to my understanding, the thing that Niagara had meant to her. The first girl had expressed nothing but a vague approval, like the baby's "dood." If we wish our children to express them- selves easily and well, we must first set them a good example by trying to improve our Develop Self -Expression 169 own speech, to enrich it so that it may con- vey our real emotion or thought. Next, we must give them the best books, books in which fine minds are finely expressed, so that they may acquire a wide range of words as tools for their own use in speech. Thirdly, we must encourage our children to describe and talk intelligently, giving them respectful attention and never making the fatal mistake of "talking down" to them, or of showing any amusement at their use of unfamiliar words. Where there is a family of children, speech-expression can be greatly fostered by an occasional evening when each child tells a story, or describes something he has seen or read. When the children come in from a walk or excursion, how often are they cut off with a hasty, "Yes, yes. I'm glad you had a good time. Now run right upstairs and wash for supper." Thus do we check every opportunity for free, easy speech-ex- pression and cut off one of the outlets through which the soul "presses outward." 170 Character Training in Childhood Another of these outlets is through the medium of writing, which is, after all, only a more exact, deliberate and permanent speech. How many grown people of your acquaintance can write a really expressive letter ? Most of our letters are a mere chron- icle of the most trivial happenings, — what we had for dinner, the new gown we bought, who came to call, the latest engagement. Scarcely one person in a thousand can ex- press his real thoughts and feelings on pa- per. That outlet for self-expression is al- most closed for most of us. But there is no reason for this. Most people cannot be great writers because they have neither great emotions nor great thoughts ; but there is no reason why every- one should not write clearly and vividly of the thoughts and emotions that make up his inner life, and the actions that make up his outer history. Of course there will always be children like Marjorie Fleming, Daisy Ashford and Hilda Conkling, who are "born" writers, but writing should be made Develop Self -Expression 171 a natural and easy form of expression for every child. There are many ways of doing this. Be- fore the child is old enough to write even, he may dictate letters and should be encour- aged to do so. Little Hilda Conkling's poems, are, I understand, dictated by her and written down, word for word, by her poet-mother. When the children are older, I highly ap- prove the old-fashioned diary habit. A mor- bid child may analyze himself too much in a diary, but all sensitive, analytical children pass through the morbid stage anyhow, and the diary habit is of great use throughout life. Among the pleasantest memories of my childhood are the innumerable wild ro- mances composed jointly by my seat-mate and myself when we were about ten years old, scrawled in the pages of old copy-books. And another less fantastic, but more really educative channel for self-expression was the weekly newspaper that my three sisters 172 Character Training in Childhood and I wrote, — for family circulation, — for a number of months. It contained verse, stories, current topics, " serious" edi- torials and during the heat of election, violent political articles. We had, alas! neither printing-press nor typewriter, so the edition consisted of one carefully writ- ten sheet, which was passed around the fam- ily circle and read by the grownups with the most courteous gravity and appreciation, though I still recall the twinkle in my father's eye on reading a nine-year-old's savage attack on James G. Blaine! There are games, too, which serve to give practise in original writing. For instance, there is the game where questions and words are written on different slips of paper. Then each player draws, at random, a word and a question, and ten minutes are allowed in which each must compose a stanza includ- ing the word and answering the question. This is too hard for the very little ones, but the older ones may write verse and the littler ones be allowed to write in prose. I have Develop Self-Expression 173 seen verses written in this way by children of ten and twelve that would do credit to many an adult. Two little sisters of thirteen and fourteen whom I used to know were in the habit of en- tertaining younger visitors by long im- promptu fairy tales, told, in turn, first by one sister, then by the other. Years after- wards, one of the sisters wrote out one of these tales, — a really charming, childlike fantasy. In the realm of music, art and drama, there is no end to the delightful ways in which children may express themselves, if only they are seconded by sympathetic help, now and then. I cannot altogether approve the elaborate and long preparation and drill- ing for a public performance. The object should not be to give a perfect performance to delight a critical public, but to give the children a chance to express their sense of poetry, beauty and rhythm. The " Comic Tragedies" which the Alcott girls wrote, staged and acted out of their own heads, as 174 Character Training in Childhood we say, may have been ridiculous considered as performances, but considered as training in self-expression they were well-nigh per- fect. Therefore I do not advocate the method of my friend Mrs. Z. who is training her chil- dren in dramatic expression by having them take part in a very elaborate presentation of 1 ' Midsummer Night's Dream," for which they have to rehearse every afternoon for several weeks, and for which the costumes are provided by the most expensive and ex- clusive firm in town. Far better an im- promptu drama, with a shawl for a curtain, if only the young actors are really making a channel for their outflowing thoughts and emotions. But, as I have said before, we do wrong to think, and teach our children to think, that self-expression is possible only in the so- called "arts." The boy who makes a toy whistle, the girl who crochets a doll's hood, the child who puts himself into any piece of work, makes that work the expression of his Develop Self -Expression 175 personality. Work ill done expresses an un- taught, careless, slothful person. Work well done expresses a trained, conscientious, competent person. Everything we do serves to express ourselves. It remains for us to see that our children express their best selves through as many channels as possible, and in the fullest possible way. V GROWTH THROUGH WORK MAKE WORK INTERESTING There is nothing that, in itself, is either work or play, ' ' but thinking makes it so. ' ' Do you remember the immortal incident of Tom Sawyer and the whitewashed fence ? It contains more profound educational truth than can be found in half the pedagogies. Tom, you will recall, was bitter at being called upon to spend a whole golden Satur- day afternoon in whitewashing the back fence. But Tom knew human nature. So when another lad happened along, Tom be- came deeply engrossed in his work, laying on the whitewash in broad sweeps and then with delicate touches, and standing back with a critical air to survey the artistic ef- fect. His intense interest in his work was so infectious that the other boy soon begged to be allowed to help, which Tom loftily re- fused, declaring that it was so important and 179 180 Character Training in Childhood so fascinating that he could not bring him- self to turn it over to anyone else. Of course, this only whetted the other's desire. Several other boys came along and the upshot of the matter was that the boys paid Tom for the privilege of being allowed to do his work for him ! Now what is the secret of making work in- teresting ? That will depend largely upon the tem- perament of the worker. I know a little girl aged about eight who is required, as her share in the housework, to keep the bath- room washbasin and faucets clean and dry. One morning, glancing in at the bathroom door, I heard her talking, while she vigor- ously rubbed the hot water faucet. "Now Hotby," she was saying, "be a good boy and stand still while I wash your face. Don't you see how nice your twin brother, Cole- man, over there looks?" And she rubbed until "Hotby" shone even as his twin. Then, with a satisfied, tho' weary sigh, she hung up her cloth while I stole away think- 1' '." l » ■ * ' !■ W g^ mJ.lf I : TO LIKE THEIR WORK Habits in work are formed through habits in play Boys and girls may learn to work in the play spirit ~ wholesome work is the extension of play. Play impulses should not be stamped out but utilized for work Nagging and forcing make children dislike work. Proper guidance and praise increase their interest in work. Use or Lose Nature's Impulses. Make Work Interesting 181 ing " Blessed be imagination, whose magic wand can turn work into play!" The art of thus working in the play spirit is one which we should strive with all our might to impart to our children. They will have many uncongenial tasks to perform, willy-nilly, in the course of their lives. Are they to perform these tasks "by main strength, ' ' under protest, grudgingly and un- happily? Or shall they learn in childhood to do even an unpleasant task happily and with that deftness that comes from working "with the grain" instead of against it? A touch of imagination on Mother's part can almost always transmute the unwelcome task into a cheerful game. The common- place work of shelling peas becomes quite exciting when one tries to guess how many peas are in each pod, before opening it. Putting away one's playthings is irksome, but if we play that a flood is coming and that we must rush all our possessions into a boat (the plaything-box or drawer), it is great fun. 182 Character Training in Childhood Another great help in making work pleas- ant is companionship. This is especially true of little children, who will work happily and well with someone, but soon lose heart if left to work in solitude. Little daughter will enjoy her sewing ten times more if Mother sits and sews with her. With rather older children, the imagina- tive appeal is often weaker. Other motives now must be used, — motives which appeal to intelligence, pride and will-power. For instance, if a child is of the literal, unimaginative type, or has outgrown the im- pulse to play dolls with the faucets that she is set to polish, how shall we help her to find interest in her task % By appealing first of all to her intelli- gence. Just mere faucets are not stimulating objects; they must be ''enriched," as the psychologists say, to arouse interest. If lit- tle Louise has been thinking of them as mere pieces of dull metal, tell her the romantic story of how water has been made the servant of man. Carry her thought back to Make Work Interesting 183 the far-off days when each family had its own well, and the "old oaken bucket" took the faucet's place. Tell her of the "town pump" days, explain how, since then, with the constant growth of the city, more and larger reservoirs have been needed. Show her a picture of the noble Roman aqueducts and tell her the wonderful story of the great new Catskill water system which supplies New York City. Explain to her the mech- anism of the faucet, show her how to put on a new washer to prevent the annoying drip- ping. Let her try several kinds of nickel- polish and use the one that works best. All this will so enlarge, enrich and vitalize the whole subject of faucets that I defy any child not to be keenly interested in them, and to retain that interest through life. That is the beauty of delving into any subject ; the further we go, the more it opens out before us, the more we see its relation to the rest of life, until it becomes a lasting possession and joy. I remember being once required dur- ing my school days to prepare a speech on 184 Character Training in Childhood the subject of various methods of street cleaning, — not a congenial topic, — but study proved it so interesting that I have ever since felt a certain enthusiasm for it. But when imagination and intelligence have done their best there will always re- main a certain amount of dull, mechanical work that must be done. How shall we get our children to form the habit of facing and cheerfully doing such work % Here we must appeal to something that lies deeper than either imagination or intel- lect, — the sense of personal self-respect and pride. Mrs. J.'s Jimmie, aged twelve, hated to make his bed. He "forgot" it as often as possible, and when he did make it, it was an unsightly mass of knobs and wrinkles. Pleading and punishment were alike vain. Jimmie simply wouldn't take time to make the bed decently. At last, Jimmie 's soldier-uncle came for a visit and was appealed to by Jimmie's Make Work Interesting 185 mother. Next morning, after breakfast, he casually said, "111 stump you to a bed-mak- ing contest, Jim." "Why, do you have to make your bed?" queried Jimmie. "I thought only girls made beds." "What put that idea into your head? Why every man at West Point has to make his bed just exactly so, and if the Inspector isn't satisfied with it, he gets Hail Colum- bia." "But you aren't in West Point now." "No, but every army man makes his own bed and makes it right. Come on upstairs and let's see who'll win the contest." Jimmie made that bed as he had never made it before, but when he saw the flawless regularity of Uncle 's couch, he blushed with shame and envy. When Uncle left, a week later, Jim had acquired two things that made it impossible for him ever again to slight his bedmaking; first, he now thought of it, not as an ignoble, trivial task, but as an 186 Character Training in Childhood important accomplishment ; secondly, he was personally proud of his own skill as a bed- maker. In addition to imagination, intelligence, and workmanlike pride, we may also appeal to the child 's love of responsibility. We all perform many tasks, daily, from no other motive than a desire to fulfil our responsibil- ities. We want others to feel that they can rely upon us. This, I feel, is one of the most vital points in the moral training of any child. A man may be delightfully imaginative, keenly in- telligent, an excellent workman, but if we cannot rely upon him, what is he worth to us? A friend of mine recently said to me, "Mrs. L. ? Oh yes, she's charming, so clever and witty. But I don't think I shall vote for her for club-president. You see, during the war, when we were up to our eyes in Red Cross work, she was always ready to make suggestions and offer help and even start things, but you could never Make Work Interesting 187 leave anything with her and know that it would be done. She always had some ex- cellent excuse, but excuses didn 't get the sew- ing done. I'm going to vote for someone with less charm and more reliability." So, since the nation cries aloud for men and women who will not merely promise, but do, who will shoulder and faithfully bear the burden of any task once undertaken, let us foster in our children a noble pride in being reliable. Let us stop driving and nagging our chil- dren. Let us say to them, and to others in their hearing, "I never have to watch my children to see that they do anything that is a part of their work. I rely on them just as I rely on their father or on myself." The mother who says this, with a proud look at her son, who thanks him as courteously as if he were a stranger when he works for her, and who praises his efforts and rejoices in his success, will usually have a son who likes to work. TRAIN THE CHILD TO USE MATERIALS One of the most deeply rooted instincts in human nature is the desire to turn some- thing into something else, to regard objects not as fixed and permanent but as possible material for creating something different. This, I think, explains the eternal fascina- tion of the fairy tales which turn a pumpkin into a golden coach, a prince into a frog, a princess into a white cat, and which delight in Gorgon's heads that turn the beholder to stone, and magic wands that transmute all they touch into purest gold. This, not the lust for wealth, merely, led men for centuries to seek the philosopher's stone which should turn to gold even the bas- est metal. This same desire to transmute things led, forty years ago, to the craze for gilding 188 ■ ii ■ ■ TO KNOW AND SHAPE MATERIALS True education consists in learning what things can do and what we can do with things." ,'V.VOinaz. To know materials, the child must handle and feel as well as see them. Therefore, ^ 'Hont touch" should be changed to "handle carefully." Quickening hand. mind and will and opening fields in industry and art. Materials should be shaped in the simple beauty that comes from good proportion rather than from decoration. The child's hand shapes the man. Train the Child to Use Materials 189 kitchen spoons for parlor ornaments, mount- ing clocks on frying-pans, " decorating" trays with postage stamps, and countless other horrors. But these were horrors be- cause of the Mid- Victorian lack of all artis- tic feeling, not because the instinct for trans- mutation is not a fine one. Now how shall this desire to make some- thing into something else be utilized in our children's education? In discussing Constructive Play, I have al- ready glanced at this problem ; but the ques- tion is not merely one of play but of the child's whole life, and of our whole fabric of society. Compare, for a moment, a child's life one hundred years ago with what it is now. The little Abigails and Ezras of those days actu- ally saw and often assisted in the processes of transmutation. They saw the sheep sheared, the wool carded and spun, the thread woven into cloth and the cloth made into gowns and coats. They saw the seed sown, the harvest reaped, the grain ground into 190 Character Training in Childhood flour, and the flour baked into bread. Often they saw the trees felled, the cellar dug, and watched the long, fascinating toil of build- ing the house. All about them, every mo- ment of the day, they saw materials being converted into useful objects. But how about our little Katherines and Jacks'? Their clothes are bought ready- made. Their bread and milk come from the bakery and an invisible milkman. They flit from one rented house to another, where everything from light and heat, to janitor and valet is "supplied." The very natural result of living in this "readymade" age, where there seem to be no materials, but only finished products, is that Katherine and Jack are likely to lose the magic power of using materials. They are likely to see only things, not possibilities. How, I repeat, shall we feed and utilize this inborn love of materials % First of all by giving the child play-ma£e- rials, rather than playthings. Secondly, by getting away, so far as is Train the Child to Use Materials 191 practical, from a readymade way of living. I do not mean by this that we should make the absurd attempt to turn back the clock and return to the crude methods of a hundred years ago. But we must see that our children do not, like the aristocrats in "The Admirable Crichton," become help- lessly dependent on a readymade civiliza- tion. We must do this, even at considerable inconvenience to ourselves. I know a wealthy woman who insisted that each of her daughters should learn to cook, not by attending a fashionable class, but by going into the kitchen and learning how to prepare, cook and "wash up" after a three course dinner. These girls, though they may never have had to cook another meal, had learned not to regard a dinner as a " readymade" prod- uct. They knew just what, in the way of food, time, strength and skill, were the mate- rials for dinner-making. Or take the matter of clothing. Many of us find it wiser, on the whole, to buy practi- 192 Character Training in Childhood cally all of our clothing readymade ; but ev- ery child, boy or girl, should be taught to recognize the various materials of which clothing is made and know which is best suited to a given purpose. They should also be taught the rudiments at least, of sewing, so that they may not be utterly dependent on the services of others, and so, again, that they may regard clothing not as something ready-created for their need, but as some- thing toilsomely and skilfully transformed from the raw material of wool and thread by human brain and muscle. Every child should be taught the elements of carpentry, should know the properties of various sorts of wood and should be taken through a furniture factory, so that he may get a realizing sense of the manifold proc- esses involved in the making of the plainest chair. Clay is one of the most primitive and fas- cinating materials. The most hardened and conventional adult, seated on the seashore, unconsciously yields to the lure of the sand, Train the Child to Use Materials 193 and starts to pat and mold it. So the child " takes to" clay, by instinct, molding figures, bricks and vases, just as did his prehistoric ancestors. In Montessori schools, the children learn to use the potter's wheel, and in many of our American schools and settlements, really beautiful pottery is turned out by the chil- dren. Such work should be supplemented by a visit to a china factory where the chil- dren may see the entire process of modern china-making. Now, what will such training in the use of materials do for our children % In the first place, it will give them power. They will not be at the mercy of their envi- ronment, but will be, in some degree, its mas- ter, able, if readymade things are not forth- coming, to use the materials at hand, just as the Boy Scout is taught to make fire without depending on matches. Secondly, it will foster originality and in- genuity. The little cook who is well used to her materials need not be restricted by a 194 Character Training in Childhood cook-book. She can cast an experienced eye over the refrigerator and concoct a tooth- some dish of her own invention from the "left-overs." The young carpenter who really understands different sorts of wood will not follow set patterns, but will design something especially suited to the material at hand. A trifling, but striking illustration of how use of a material leads to ingenuity in devis- ing other uses, is that of the hairpin. Men think of a hairpin as a finished product. To women it is a bundle of possibilities. I have seen the humble, but adaptable hairpin used as a corkscrew, safety pin, paper-knife, letter-file, pickle-fork, button-hook, hat-pin and picture hook, — to mention but a few of myriad potentialities. Therefore, I say, give Tom and Anne a chance to use as many materials as possible, that they may have eyes to see the tremendous possibilities all about them. Lastly, we must let our children use mate- Train the Child to Use Materials 195 rials in oraer that they may realize the law of cause and effect. We laugh at the story of the little city-bred lad who, on visiting the country asked whether the plot next to the string beans was planted with his favorite "porkan" beans. I know a small girl who looked long for the "mashed potato" patch. But this is really not a laughing matter. If our children see only results, how can they understand causes % If they are famil- iar only with the smoothly finished product, how can they know anything of the toil that went to make it ? How can we blame them if they are heedlessly destructive? The saying, "Easy come, easy go," contains a deal of truth. Perhaps twelve-year-old Tom is perfectly wanton in his rough treat- ment of your polished furniture. A series of lessons in carpentry and a knowledge of the different sorts of fine woods, with a visit to a fine cabinet maker, will do a vast amount toward making him see fine furniture in a new light. He will realize it not as an easily 196 Character Training in Childhood replaceable object, but as the fine fruit of a long series of skilful acts performed upon beautiful material. Perhaps Anne cannot see why she should not feed cream-puffs to the dog. If Anne, by a lesson in fancy cake-making, can be led to see cream-puffs as the product of special skill, the best materials and considerable ex- pense, she will feed Fido on some simpler dish. The truth is that the abundance of serv- ants and omnipresence of machinery have, for many of us, in the past, obscured the real value of material and of human labor. Our children must learn by doing. They must get back of products, to materials. So shall they gain independence, ingenuity and respect for human and other material. TRAIN EYE, HAND, AND JUDGMENT The training of eye and hand, which, as I have mentioned, forms a part of Montessori and Kindergarten methods, should also be continued and carried still further in the grammar and high school and in the child's daily work at home. The little child who has not learned to read is not tempted to sub- stitute reading about things, for working with things. But for the older boy or girl this is a very real danger. Those of us who were unlucky enough to be educated before the days of manual train- ing know how nearly impossible it is to form accurate judgments as to line and distance unless eye and hand have been trained. To be personal, I was educated in city schools and given practically nothing but "book learning. ' ' The result is that I cannot make 197 198 Character Training in Childhood the wildest guess at distances. An "acre" is a mere word to me, and the Woolworth tower, whose ghostly form looms on my hor- izon, may be three hundred feet, or six hundred, — it is all one to my untutored judg- ment. In his inspiring and suggestive book, "What Is It to Be Educated?" C. Hanford Henderson urges that children be trained in the cultivation of this quantitative sense. He would have them practise pacing off dis- tances, estimating heights, and gauging weights and distances. In his California school, his boys were taught to pace off a plot of ground containing just an acre. This quantitative judgment cannot be gained by merely using rulers, measuring- vessels and weights. It comes as the result of "freehand" working with materials. We all know the expert cook who "never measures anything." Ah, but she does measure, — not with pint cups and graduated measuring spoons, but with that expert, trained eye of hers which has learned just Train Eye, Hand, and Judgment 199 how much sugar or flour will go into the cup or spoon. The eye of the sharpshooter or the billiard expert can measure distance and gauge posi- tion almost to a hair's breadth. The hand of the experienced draughtsman can almost dispense with ruler and compass. Now we cannot expect to make our chil- dren expert in every line of hand-work, but there is no reason why every normal child should not be trained to the skilful and accu- rate use of eye and hand, so that whatever line he elects to specialize in he may be ready for, and so that he may be incapable of sloppy, inaccurate work. But, as Henderson points out, manual training must not "go over to the devil of uniformity." The main object, after all, is to develop the originality and judgment of the boy or girl, not to turn out a mathemat- ically exact product. Therefore the man- ual training course should not be a cut-and- dried affair, wherein each boy tries to make a table exactly like the model in every par- 200 Character Training in Childhood ticular. The boy should plan his own table, embody his own ideas, his own sense of pro- portion and harmony. The little girl should learn to cut her own sewing patterns, design her own ornaments, and plan her work according to her own ideas, rather than model it after a fixed pat- tern. As Henderson says, ' * The final test is not whether a boy has made a whole lot of wooden projects, and modeled a whole lot of animals and ornaments, and drawn a book full of sketches and designs, and painted a rainbow into earthly shapes, but rather whether there has been developed the trained eye and perceptive hand which can be depended upon henceforth to render sure and instinctive expression to the purposes of the will, and at the same time yield accurate and comprehensive report of the outer world." This training of eye to accurate percep- tion, of hand to sureness and skill, and of judgment to promptness and certainty is Train Eye, Hand, and Judgment 201 also one of the best forms of will-training. The child who plans out a piece of work, overcomes the stubbornness of his material, wields it to his will and sees, in the finished product, the successful embodiment of his plan, has exercised his will along with his muscles, — has made himself master of his materials. Children need bodily tools as strong and skilful as possible. They need foresight and judgment. They need effective will power. For none of these purposes is there any more effective method than that of suit- able manual training. DEVELOP POWER The right sort of work should, finally and above all, develop one's personal power. The wrong sort of work may do exactly the opposite. Let me illustrate. A very hardworking and industrious man of my acquaintance told me that he found no real pleasure in working the garden patch at his country home because of the farm work that had been required of him as a small boy. "I naturally loved study better than muscular work," he said, "but that was not the trouble. I was set to weed an enormous field on my father's farm, — a field of beans, a vegetable which I detested. The bean-patch was so big that by the time I had finished, it was nearly time to start over again. I was the only child, so I worked in solitude. My sole reward was an approving glance from 202 TO DEVELOP POWER Training is soft" if it merely interests. It should arouse the fighting instinct and make the child want to finish what he undertakes. vi- To finish a job in the best way develops mental integrity in children. Making worth while things for ones self or for a gift develops interest, concen- tration, perseverance and will power. Develop Power 203 my father. I detested the beans, I detested the long, thankless task. Nothing but a stern sense of duty kept me at it. I hated it so that to this day I cannot take any pleasure in any sort of gardening." Or consider the tragic case of the little East Side girl Who " hated roses" because of the weary hours that she had spent making the artificial blossoms. It is clear that this boy and girl were not gaining power from their work, but quite the reverse. How then shall we provide for our chil- dren the sort of work, during childhood, that will give them power for their manhood $ First of all, his work must be suited to the child's age and strength. It is both cruel and unwise to saddle a child with work that is beyond his physical powers, or which severely overtaxes them. In her delightful autobiography, Dr. Anna H. Shaw tells how she and her little brother dug a well when she was about thirteen. Hamlin Garland recounts the long hours when, as a tiny lad, 204 Character Training in Childhood he toiled behind the plow, stumbling through the furrows and tugging with all his puny strength at the giant plow-handles. Fortunately, Dr. Shaw and Hamlin Gar- land were unusually sturdy children, — weaker children would have utterly suc- cumbed, — but this sort of desperate battling with man-size tasks is not good for any child. The exceptional child may not be perma- nently injured, but it does not develop the best sort of power in any child. So I would say that, first of all, our chil- dren's tasks should be sufficiently hard to call forth their best efforts, but not to overpower them, either physically or mentally. It takes an exceptionally strong will not to be- come discouraged if one is constantly ex- pected to do more than one can. As we said before, we must not let our children get into the habit of expecting failure. On the other hand, we must not make ev- ery task so easy that it requires no effort on the child's part. Effort is needed for growth, physical, mental, or moral. Here is Develop Power 205 where the loving parent is tempted to be most unwise. Father worked so hard as a boy that he wants his sons to have "every advantage" and that, in his mind, often means an absence of all effort, — a life all sunshine, light work, unearned pocket- money, a chance to select the tasks they please and pursue them only so far as they please. But absence of effort does not make for strength ; it does not make even for hap- piness, — it makes only for weakness and dis- satisfaction. We must also beware of setting children tasks that are too long for the limited pa- tience of a child. I know a wise mother who is anxious that her eight-year-old daughter should learn to sew. "But I remembered," she said, "the weary hours that I spent at my needle when I was a child. I used to dread the endless seams and what seemed like miles of hem, for I was set at hemming the nursery sheets. So I determined that Pauline should find sewing a real pleasure and should have every incentive to finish 206 Character Training in Childhood her work instead of flinging it aside in wear- iness, as I used to do. " So I formed a sewing club of three of her little playmates and bought a set of simple patterns for doll clothes. The patterns were so easy that each little girl was able to make a garment at one sitting. They sewed for an hour and when the garments were made, they had milk and cookies, for a 'party.' I assure you that they loved their club, sewed with all their might and finished every gar- ment that they started. ' ' This last phrase especially struck me, for I wonder how many of us adults can say that we have finished every piece of work that we undertook. This evil habit of starting pieces of work and then leaving them unfinished is often the result of giving a child tasks that are too long for his age. The small child has lim- ited powers of concentration. He soon wearies, both physically and mentally. Hence the wisdom of little Pauline's mother in letting the sewing class undertake Develop Power 207 only such work as they could finish rather quickly. Of course, as a child grows older, he will be interested in work that covers days or weeks, but I repeat that we should beware of allowing a boy or girl to undertake a task that will overtax his power of sustained in- terest, lest he or she acquire the fatal habit of unfinished work. Therefore, if John comes to you with a request to be allowed to undertake a certain responsibility, it will be well for him to be warned as to just what he is undertaking. My friend Mrs. L. has a daughter of ten who was very anxious to have a canary. Her mother did not refuse, but said, "Of course you know, Frances, that you will have to take care of the bird.' , "Oh yes," acceded Frances, "I want to take care of him. ' ' "That means," continued her mother, "that you must get up in time to give him fresh seed and water each morning and that you must keep his cage perfectly clean and 208 Character Training in Childhood that you must remember to move him away from the open window at night, so that he won't catch cold." "Oh, I'll take perfect care of him,' , cried Frances. And so she did for several weeks, but when the novelty had worn off, she began to for- get. Her mother called her to her and said, " Frances, you undertook the care of this bird and you must carry it through. Yes- terday brother fed birdie, because we can't let him suffer from your neglect, but he is your bird and your responsibility. You must either care for him yourself or pay brother for doing it. Every time that brother has to do it, he will charge you five cents and you can pay him out of your allow- ance." I suppose many parents would do like an- other friend of mine and feed the bird themselves, or give it away. It seems to me that Mrs. L. 's plan was wiser, for it insisted with perfect justice that Frances should carry through an obligation that she had Develop Power 209 voluntarily assumed, just as all of us grown- ups have to do. The only unfairness in such insistence comes when the child is not warned beforehand, but is allowed to start something too hard for him to carry out. Having seen that our children's tasks do not exceed their bodily strength, mental power, or ability to concentrate for the requisite length of time, we ought to insist that they put through their undertakings, encourage them by all possible praise and make them heartily ashamed of being "quit- ters." Hateful word! Hateful because it means the lack of patience, the lack of re- sponsibility, the lack of honorable pride in our work, the lack of that sturdy self-reli- ance which makes others rely on us. THE CHILD AND HIS VOCATION THE EIGHT CHOICE OF A LIFE WORK How many of us men and women chose our life work? Very few, I suspect. In most cases young people enter into a work- ing career very much as they enter matri- mony, — not because of any thought, prepara- tion or deliberate decision, but through a combination of impulse, chance and favor- able circumstances. We most appropri- ately speak of "falling" in love, and in much the same way the girl or boy falls into some line of work which may, by miracle, fit him, but which is much more likely to prove a sad misfit. Very often the matter is decided by the merest chance. A friend of mine once saw two boys in the subway who were discussing jobs. One of them finally drew out a news- paper, turned to the "Help Wanted" 213 214 Character Training in Childhood column and said, "I'll close my eyes and then go after whatever job my finger hits." So saying, he shut his eyes and made a jab at the column. Perhaps not many boys select a job in quite so casual a fashion, but the average boy or girl simply tumbles into the first empty berth. John is about to leave school and the village grocer suggests to John's father that he needs a clerk, so into the grocery John goes. In June, when Mary is gradu- ated, there is a loud call for workers in the canning factory, so off Mary goes to the factory. Often the determining factor is the par- ent's occupation. Benjamin Franklin started work as a tallow chandler, for no reason on earth except that it was his fa- ther's trade. One can scarcely imagine a trade more utterly unsuited to the brilliant and inventive lad. Robert Louis Stevenson was born to a family tradition of engineering. His two uncles, father, grandfather and step-great- TO FIND THEIR LIFE WORK As senses and judgment are "trained and tested, children should gradually be led to choose the work for which temperament and education fit them. Fitting info the work of the world is the highest expression of the group-play instinct. Native ability lies dormant unless awakened through the activities of plax work and study- The Right Choice of a Life Work 215 grandfather were all civil engineers, and naturally, as they thought, Louis would fol- low the family profession. He accordingly studied engineering, but, as all the world knows, his genius for writing was so over- whelming that it overcame family tradition and all else. Often a child's career is determined by nothing but a passing whim. The boy meets some brilliant young physician and decides that he too will be a doctor. The girl is in- fatuated with what she supposes to be the brilliance of a "movie" career and yearns to become a film star, — perhaps runs away, as hundreds do each year, to seek a dramatic career in Los Angeles. Innumerable school boys are in love with the idea of being avia- tors, just as, fifteen years ago, they longed to be chauffeurs. But shall we not consider our children's wishes in the choosing of a vocation 1 ? As- suredly, but we must consult their real wishes, based on actual knowledge, not their passing whims, based on illusion and 216 Character Training in Childhood glamour. The boy who fancies that he would like to be a doctor should be told and be allowed, if possible, to see, enough of a doctor's life to realize just what it means, — the long years of strenuous study and preparation, the uphill struggle for recogni- tion, the years of faithful service, taxing body and mind almost to the breaking point. If his enthusiasm is genuine, these difficul- ties will not deter him but will be spurs to his ambition. The girl who wishes to act should know that acting is not bowing before an applaud- ing audience, having one's picture in the Sunday supplement, and being laden down with flowers and praise. She must be shown that it is grilling work, long hours, tedious travelling, uncertain engagements, a thorny road which, except for the brilliant talent, is likely to end in bitter disappoint- ment. If she fully realizes all this and still is eager to go on the stage, her desire is a real one, and should be at least treated with respect. The Eight Choice of a Life Work 217 But even where one has a great liking for some special line of work, it does not always follow that one is wise in choosing it as a life work. New York City and every other musical center is full of young girls with pretty, but mediocre voices who are anxious to make a musical career for themselves. Jennie has always had an ear for music, she has sung in the village choir and some city visitors have praised her efforts. So money is drawn from the bank and Jennie hastens off to the great city to make a name and fortune. After two or three wasted years, she returns richer only in the knowl- edge that she can never be a musician. True, she loves music, but she "hasn't it in her" to make a singer. Our cities teem, also, with youngsters of both sexes who fancy themselves as literary lights. They like to write and even have a certain ease and fluency of expression, so off they go to learn the arduous trade of journalism. They spend a few years drift- ing from one Greenwich Village lodging to 2i8 Character Training in Childhood another, each cheaper than the last, until they give up in despair or continue as the army of cheap hack-writers who lead a hand-to-mouth existence in every great city. No, we cannot be guided merely by the boy's or girl's likings. Unless they have real talent for art, literature or drama, they had better earn their living in some other field and let the first be a delightful avoca- tion for their spare hours. Better a thou- sand times to be a pleasing and happy ama- teur artist than a hopeless and miserable professional. While we give due consideration, then, to what our children would like to do, our chief object should be to discover what they are best able to do. To determine this, we must study our chil- dren's bodily, mental and spiritual makeup, their strong and weak points. The boy who has weak lungs should not become a stone mason, or engage in any other dusty trade. He should not be a tailor, shoemaker or any other sort of worker who has to bend over The Bight Choice of a Life Work 219 all day in a position that cramps the lungs and who must work indoors. The boy with weak eyes must not try to be a jeweler, to engage in scientific work that will call for the use of a microscope, or to take up any work where his eyes will be a serious handicap. As for mental abilities, the shy, unsocial boy will never make a good salesman. The imaginative, original youngster will not be likely to be good at routine work, just as the slow, dull one will fail at anything that re- quires speed and keen wit. The blunt, in- tractable, unsocial person may make a bril- liant scientist, writer, or inventor, but he will never succeed as a teacher, organizer, politician, or in any other field where tact, adaptability and love of one's kind are es- sentials. Therefore, before we can wisely guide our boys and girls in the choice of a life work, we must know them, body, mind and soul. We must know, too, the sort of bodies, minds and souls that are needed in the various 220 Character Training in Childhood fields of work, so that we may cease this wedging of square pegs into round holes. Lastly, we must know whether a given field is already over-full. If so, it is not wise to add another struggler to the com- petition. If parents would only help their children to decide what they really wish to do, what they really can do, and what work is in de- mand, the problem of vocational guidance would be almost solved. WHY CHILDREN LEAVE SCHOOL President Eliot of Harvard has said, "It is high time that our teachers and leaders of the people understood that every civilized human being gets the larger part of his life training in the occupation through which he earns his livelihood, and that his school- ing in youth should invariably be directed to prepare him in the best way for the best permanent occupation for which he is ca- pable. In other words, the motive of the life-career should be brought into play as early and fully as possible. ' ' In discussing the efficient school, we named the prime duties of the school as follows : — the promoting of health and good hygiene; the sound, thorough teaching of elementary subjects; training in effective thinking; the cultivation of self-expression. To these I would add President Eliot's 221 222 Character Training in Childhood statement that the school should ''prepare the child in the best way for the best perma- nent occupation for which he is capable.'' In olden times the child 's daily life was a natural preparation for his future work. The girl was taught from babyhood, almost, to sew, spin, knit and weave. She helped in the baking, churning, preserving and dry- ing of fruits and vegetables, in the care of the poultry, the dipping of candles, the clean- ing and housework generally. The boy grew up in the midst of his fa- ther's business, for the shop and family liv- ing quarters were usually under one roof. Often the blacksmithing, harness-making, shoe-mending and numerous activities were a part of the family life. If not, the small shops where these things were done were close at hand, — familiar haunts where the neighborhood lads gathered and where they learned a deal about the various vocations. The boy who, from babyhood, has taken corn to the mill, who has helped with farm work, who has watched the shoemaker, blacksmith, WHY CHILDREN LEAVE SCHOOL Investigations show thai lack of interest, as well as poverty draws children from school. ■ i r > I /-■^^' "Aw. what's the use!" We train a few for entrance to college; Why not train all for entrance to life The school must prepare the child for life, by giving him Knowledge of his own abilities Aquaintance with the field of opportunity Training for his chosen work Why Children Leave School 223 saddler, carpenter and farmer at their tasks, will have gradually built up considerable knowledge of the various vocations and is likely to have a decided notion as to which one he prefers. In our modern cities, however, and in most country places, the boy and girl have no such opportunities. Here again, the ready- madeness of their life is a terrible obstacle. There are thousands of children in New York who have never even seen a horse shod, a loaf of bread baked, a shoe mended, or a bit of carpentry or plumbing done. They know nothing about the different lines of work and cannot be expected to prefer one to another. Some years ago, in Grand Rapids, Michi- gan, five hundred and thirty-one high school students were questioned as to their future plans. Considerably more than half of them had made no decision as to their life-work. Of those who had decided, half had no prac- tical knowledge of the vocation which they intended to enter. Of the entire five hun- 224 Character Training in Childhood dred and thirty-one, only one hundred and fifty were planning their school work so as to fit them for their chosen life-work. This is even more likely to be the case among the less fortunate boys and girls who drop out of school long before high school is ended, — even before the eighth grade is completed. It is really heart-breaking to think of the thousands of girls and boys who yearly leave our grammar schools with no sound, thorough training, no knowledge of their own abilities or handicaps, no acquaint- ance with the requirements of any vocation, who yet are expected to find their places in this vast, complicated business machine. It is a miracle that any find the right place, not that so many fail. Now what can the schools do about it? How can they ' ' prepare the child in the best way" for his life work? More and more schools are answering this question by giving more and more thorough industrial training. There was a time when a boy had to break the law and be sent to a Why Children Leave School 225 reform school in order to get a thorough trade education. Fortunately this is no longer true, but there is still much to be done. School manual training courses must be in- creased in number and variety. The school work must be given a vocational bent. The arithmetic lesson need not come to the child in the guise of a puzzle propounded by the teacher and having no conceivable connec- tion with anything else in life. It should be a conscious preparation for the under- standing of costs, expense accounts, survey- ing, banking, and the whole numerical side of life. It is only the mathematically gifted who enjoy it as a "puzzle." The average child must be made to realize that it is a highly necessary tool, — an equipment for practical use. Language work should not be a juggling with words, but an exercise in the use of our native tongue, to enable us to say what we mean; — a much rarer accomplishment than most people realize. The writing of business letters, advertisements, bulletins, 226 Character Training in Childhood prospectuses and other literary forms used in the outer world will be of enormous bene- fit vocationally. In addition to giving this vocational twist to the course of study, the teacher may and should institute visits to various factories, stores, printing establishments, and so on, that the pupils may gain a knowledge of the various trades and professions. In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin tells how his father was anxious to put his son to the most suitable trade. "He there- fore sometimes took me to walk with him and see joiners, bricklayers, turners, braziers, etc., at their work, that he might observe my inclination, and endeavor to fix it on some trade or other. ' ' Mr. J. Adams Puffer, in his excellent book, "Vocational Guidance," points out that school work and play, together with such work as is done during vacations, may be of great value in diagnosing a boy's or girl's abilities. Some actual experience in carpentry, iron working, electric wiring, or Why Children Leave School 227 other hand work, will show whether the boy has a bent for mechanics and will make a good artisan. A few, weeks spent behind a counter will prove conclusively whether the girl or boy is fitted for any of the selling oc- cupations. Similarly, garden work, or bet- ter still experience on a farm, will decide whether the pupil is fitted for farm or agri- cultural pursuits. Of course some children have a bent so marked that there is no mistaking it. I know a young man whose mechanical ability was so decided that it showed even in his babyhood. One day, when he was about five, his mother had difficulty with one of the steam radiators. " Herbert was intensely interested," she afterward said to me, "and when I gave up in despair, he started finger- ing the screw and trying to discover the trouble. I don't know what he did, but in a few moments, he had fixed it so that it worked all right. From that time forward, Herbert was called on whenever any faucet or other fixture was out of order." This 228 Character Training in Childhood boy took no interest in books or study of any sort, but was passionately interested in me- chanics and especially electricity. At six- teen he was placed in the electrical depart- ment of a railroad company and has re- mained there, happy and useful for four years. On a farm or in business he would almost certainly have been a total failure. This leads me to say a word about the need for teachers and parents to study more the question of innate abilities, for environ- ment and education cannot fundamentally alter these, — the best they can do is to de- velop them. Every parent and teacher should observe and study the children entrusted to his care. He should familiarize himself with the gen- eral principles of physiognomy, should un- derstand how to read the outward signs, — in face, physique, hands and general texture and form, — of the personality beneath. If every parent understood the various types of temperament and could read their out- ward signs, we should not see the imagina- Why Children Leave School 229 tive, impractical enthusiast forced into salesmanship, the born artisan struggling unsuccessfully to pass his bar examinations, the would-be farmer tied to a counting house. We must regard the school and the school must regard itself as a preparation for life. This it must be whatever else it fails in be- ing, and when it truly fills this role our chil- dren will not, as they too often do now, rush from its uncongenial atmosphere into the first ''blind-alley" job that offers. Instead they will be eager to acquire the fullest preparation for the best work of which they are capable. UNTRAINED BOYS AND GIELS The tragedy of the untrained is as old as civilization. The pyramids stand as an eternal monument to thousands of aching muscles and straining backs, condemned to ache and strain because their owners were untrained. Had their brains and bodies been trained to better activities, they would have risen and cast off the yoke of the Egyp- tian kings. In our own civilization, the " hewers of wood and drawers of water" are still at a great disadvantage. True they command higher wages than ever before in history, — at the moment, indeed, they are higher than the salaries of many a better educated man ; but the working life of the unskilled laborer is short. At forty he is making no more than he did at twenty-five. At fifty, he is an old man, unfit for heavy manual labor and untrained for anything else. 230 ■■ TWeUNTRMNED WORKING CHILD A IN AN UNKNOWN COUNTRY WITHOUT MAP OR COMPASS NO MAP : ~ No clear knowledge of the industrial world- NO COMPASS:- No definite purpose and training,- MEAN Drifting from job to job. Waste of time, strength and happiness. Loss of interest and courage. Becoming an inefficient "rolling stone" Never earning a living wage, Being thrown on the scrap heap'early. Untrained Boys and Girls 231 But if the life of the unskilled manual laborer is hard, far worse is that of the un- skilled worker who has not even muscular strength to sell and who goes into one of the "easy," blind-alley jobs. Every year thousands of boys and girls whose muscles are too weak for them to do hard labor, and whose brains and hands are too untrained for them to enter the ranks of the skilled artisan or clerical or profes- sional classes, wander aimlessly into these blind-alley lines of work. They become messenger boys, boot-blacks, cash boys or girls, errand boys, telegraph messengers, newsboys, elevator operators, bundle-wrap- pers. It has been pointed out by many voca- tional counsellors that much of this work is needed and worthy of respect, but that it should be left to adults who have proved their inability to do anything better, not done by boys and girls who have their whole working lives ahead of them. The boy or girl who finds himself in such 232 Character Training in Childhood a blind-alley occupation is often, at first, elated by the mere fact of earning money. Soon, however, it becomes apparent that there is "no future" in the work and off the worker drifts to try something else. The records of the juvenile courts and re- formatories are full of cases where a boy or girl has drifted aimlessly from one empty position to another, a fortnight here, a month there, never staying long enough even to discover whether the job held any real in- terest. This sort of drifting is a great waste of time and strength. It is even worse, — it develops the habit of drifting, so that the boy or girl is finally unable to feel any lasting in- terest or make any continued effort. Thus do we manufacture the "vocational ho- boes," the army of "casuals" who orna- ment our park benches and whose numerous families the social worker tries vainly to rehabilitate. To my mind there is nothing else in life quite so tragic as this aimless drifting of Untrained Boys and Girls 233 youth. It ruins the boy and girl as work- ers; it ruins them still more as human be- ings, for the trait which chiefly distinguishes the civilized man from the savage is that the former has a settled purpose, that his eye is fixed on a goal, that he lives in a better tomorrow, not merely in an indolent today. Therefore every parent and every school should give the children under their care some definite training, based upon their spe- cial abilities. One of the most important preliminary steps is the testing of the child's mental ca- pacity. A very large number of our " un- successful" are mentally subnormal and therefore quite incapable of doing better. Yet we cruelly blame the nineteen year old lad because, being but thirteen years old mentally, he cannot measure up to his co- workers. If every school were to have all its children examined by a mental expert, and every parent of a mentally deficient child had the moral courage to send the un- fortunate child to a suitable institution, the 234 Character Training in Childhood ranks of our tramps, petty criminals and chronic out-of-works would be greatly thinned. This matter of the subnormal child is so urgent and has so direct a bearing on the question of vocation that every parent should consider it deeply and intelligently. No parent likes to face the fact that his child is mentally lacking, but if it is a fact, our shutting our eyes to it only makes it worse, — harder for the child himself and in- finitely harder on others. It makes it harder on the child because he is constantly being measured by an unfair standard, constantly being expected to do and be more than is possible for him. The truest kindness to such a child is to place him in a well-conducted institution espe- cially planned for such as he. Here he will be spared the pain and friction that come from trying to live up to an impossible standard. He will be tenderly guarded, taught to do all of which he is capable, and will have the companionship of his equals. Untrained Boys and Girls 235 Did you ever stop to think how terrible it would be to have to live entirely in the society of a world of super-men, while you retained only your average intellect? Just fancy living in a family made up of Sappho, Darwin, Shakspere and Edison, listening to their conversation and trying to "hold up your end"! Fancy this, and you may get a notion of the terrible strain felt by a subnormal child in trying to live up to a normal family and a normal society. No, our kindness is cruelty if it means that we "cannot bear" to send our little sufferer into a more fitting at- mosphere. Visit the Training School at Vineland, New Jersey, see the smiling, busy boys and girls, — many of them grown men and women, but all spoken of as "the chil- dren," — and you will wonder how any par- ent has the heart to deny his unfortunate child such training for happiness and even self-support. But to keep the subnormal child at home, where he mingles with normal children, is 236 Character Training in Childhood even more unfair to society than to him. Many children who, though sixteen to twenty years of age, are mentally but thir- teen, — morons, to use the scientific term, — seem, to the casual observer, quite normal. At Vineland, you will see many pretty, at- tractive girls who look, to your untrained eye, perfectly normal. Now, if these morons remain at home, especially if their parents refuse to admit their subnormality and shield it from discovery, they are very likely to marry, with the result that their misfortune is almost certain to be handed down to some of their descendants. The records of charitable organizations are full of the families of these unfortunates, blindly marrying, blindly passing on their affliction, to the incalculable damage of the race. Therefore to every parent of a subnormal child I would say, "For the sake of your child's happiness, send him where he will be tenderly and understandingly taught among those who are his equals, and where, Untrained Boys and Girls 237 when you are no longer there to protect him, he will be guarded from all harm. For the sake of the human race, send him where his affliction will die with him, not be passed on, to the undoing of thousands yet unborn." And to the parent of the normal child I would say, "Knotv your child, his desires and his abilities. Know what opportunities lie in the various fields of work. Help him to know these things also. Then help him to such training as will prepare him to use his abilities to the best possible purpose. 17 TRAINING FOR HOME-MAKING Despite the prophets of a new order which shall bring with it the abolition of the pri- vate home, the home is still with us and bids fair to remain with us for many years to come. These same prophets are wont to proclaim the approaching abolition of mar- riage and domestic duties for woman, in favor of an industrial or business career. But, as yet, statistics are against these arguments. About fifteen out of every six- teen American women continue to marry and of these the vast majority make their own homes. Now, since there are fifteen chances to one that your girl, sooner or later, will be at the head of her own household, this home- making should be considered above all oth- ers, her probable vocation, and she should be trained accordingly. 233 TRAINING for HOME-MAKING ! * 1 ^ t ■ I r: "LEARNING HOW" 15 out of every 16 American girls marry. Why not prepare them for marriage? Every girl should be trained in Personal hygiene Food values and cookery Household sanitation Buying and making clothing Wise spending of money Home furnishing and decoration Care and training of children Knowledge of the laws of heredity. Training for Home-Maldng 239 The responsibility for this training has gradually been shifted more and more from the home to the school. This is probably wise, for nowadays there are many homes in which there is really no opportunity for such training. The foreign mother is usually unable to teach, because she is her- self ignorant of the best American methods of household work. In many homes, the mother must be breadwinner. In others, of the wealthier sort, the servants object to having anyone "mess around" in their province. Yet I cannot but feel that every mother to whom it is at all possible should at least supplement the school course in domestic science by some training at home. The school course is, necessarily, somewhat in- flexible ; it cannot usually take up such prac- tical matters as the use of "left-overs" to concoct toothsome dishes, and the making of new hats or garments from old materials. Nor does the school usually give a thorough, practical experience in marketing and the 240 Character Training in Childhood use of money. Comparatively few schools give any training in the care and rearing of children, and I know of none that teach that vital subject, — the laws of heredity. Therefore, if our girls are to be prepared for their vocation of mothers and home- makers, their training cannot, as yet, be left Wholly in the hands of the schools. Moreover, though the schools may, in time, teach all the branches of domestic science, they can never really train in home-making. If Belle learns how to make strawberry- shortcake at school, she has merely learned to make a palatable dessert, but if, flushed with pride, she places her shortcake before her family and listens to their praise, while she watches their enjoyment, she has learned something of the pride and joy of being a home-maker. The girl who learns the different cuts of meat from a chart on the school-room wall learns the dry facts, but she misses some- thing quite invaluable that is gained by the girl who goes marketing with her mother. Training for Home-Making 241 The school teaches the technique of keep- ing house ; the mother must teach the art of making a home. From earliest childhood, the girl, — and the boy too, — must be gradually prepared for this supreme vocation. Whatever else they may or may not become the chances are that they will be mothers and fathers. Therefore this training must take prece- dence over everything else. The four year old son of a friend of mine was once asked what he meant to be when he grew up. With the utmost seriousness, he replied, "Well, I fink I will get a lot of thticks and build a houthe and be a f arver. ' ' Would that all our boys had as worthy an ambition ! And now what is the most practical means of training our future home-makers? During the winter term of school, most children have but little extra time and should not be required to do much work about the house, but there is no reason why every child over seven should not make his or her 242 Character Training in Childhood own bed and, a few years later, take entire charge of his room. In a family of my acquaintance there were four daughters who shared two bedrooms. On Saturday mornings, two cleaned the bedrooms, one did the marketing and the other made cake or some other special dish for the Sunday dinner. Each week they ex- changed tasks, so that each one had her chance at cleaning, marketing or cooking. In another household, the girls take turns getting the Sunday supper and great is the rivalry to see who can prepare the best meal within a stipulated cost. Especially irksome tasks can be lightened by being done in company. Stocking-darn- ing is much less wearisome if done in a group while one reads aloud. As for hulling ber- ries, my memory goes happily back to a sum- mer twenty and more years ago, when my sisters and I hulled fruit all day for the winter's supply of jam, and felt scarcely a trace of weariness because we were listening to the enchanting pages of "Villette." Training for Home-Making 243 Of course, no one advocates making a girl or boy work too hard during the summer va- cation, but judiciously arranged work dur- ing this time means a fine training for the future home-maker. This means that Mother must not be too "unselfish." She must not be like one mother I know who says, "Oh, I do want Lucille to be happy while she's young." So Lucille dances and picnics and swims and plays tennis all sum- mer, while Mother washes and mends her white dresses and makes cake and lemon- ade for the heated tennis players. In many a home the sons and daughters live like "star boarders," enjoying all the benefits of the home, criticising any slight in- convenience, and doing absolutely nothing to help in any way. One such girl of my ac- quaintance, whose home was by no means wealthy, but whose mother was indulgent and very efficient, at sixteen years old had not the slightest idea how to darn her own stockings. She had never been used to wait on herself and one morning, when breakfast- 244 Character Training in Childhood ing with me, actually turned to me with the request that I break her egg. No, the indulgent mother or father is really the cruel one. It is no kindness to bring a girl up in total ignorance of the art of home-making and then allow her to learn how after marriage. As to training in the care of babies and children, the average bride knows no more about it than the baby himself does. A young wife said to me once, rather doubtfully, "I suppose perhaps it would be better if I nursed the baby, wouldn't it?" And when I told her that it would multiply by five her baby's chance of living if she nursed him, she replied, in amazement, "Why I hadn't the least idea that it made any great difference. ' ' And yet this young woman, who had received no training what- ever for motherhood, had spent hundreds of dollars and years of study to fit herself for success as a musician. Or consider the question of heredity. How many of our boys and girls know any- Training for Home-Making 245 thing practical about the laws of heredity? How many of them realize the danger of marriage where there is a persistent strain of feeble-mindedness or insanity? We can- not afford to wait until our boy or girl is in love, for not one person in a thousand is willing, then, to listen. We must make them understand, even in childhood, the re- sponsibility of parents to transmit a healthy heritage to their children. Perhaps I may be accused of dampening youthful ardor and darkening youthful hap- piness with a premature cloud of respon- sibility. "I want to shield my children," the fond parent cries, "from knowing the seamy side of life." This plea might be valid, if such shielding were ever really possible, but it is not. The boy or girl cannot go on living in an unreal paradise. He must take his place in the world as it is and do his part toward making it better for those who are to follow him. Moreover, the happiness of the coming world depends on how the boys and girls of 244 Character Training in Childhood ing with me, actually turned to me with the request that I break her egg. No, the indulgent mother or father is really the cruel one. It is no kindness to bring a girl up in total ignorance of the art of home-making and then allow her to learn how after marriage. As to training in the care of babies and children, the average bride knows no more about it than the baby himself does. A young wife said to me once, rather doubtfully, "I suppose perhaps it would be better if I nursed the baby, wouldn't if?" And when I told her that it would multiply by &ve her baby's chance of living if she nursed him, she replied, in amazement, "Why I hadn't the least idea that it made any great difference. ' ' And yet this young woman, who had received no training what- ever for motherhood, had spent hundreds of dollars and years of study to fit herself for success as a musician. Or consider the question of heredity. How many of our boys and girls know any- Training for Home-Making 245 thing practical about the laws of heredity? How many of them realize the danger of marriage where there is a persistent strain of f eeble-mindedness or insanity ? We can- not afford to wait until our boy or girl is in love, for not one person in a thousand is willing, then, to listen. We must make them understand, even in childhood, the re- sponsibility of parents to transmit a healthy heritage to their children. Perhaps I may be accused of dampening youthful ardor and darkening youthful hap- piness with a premature cloud of respon- sibility. "I want to shield my children," the fond parent cries, "from knowing the seamy side of life. ' ' This plea might be valid, if such shielding were ever really possible, but it is not. The boy or girl cannot go on living in an unreal paradise. He must take his place in the world as it is and do his part toward making it better for those who are to follow him. Moreover, the happiness of the coming world depends on how the boys and girls of 246 Character Training in Childhood today are trained. If they are allowed to live as strangers in their own homes, fed, clad and housed with no thought or respon- sibility on their part, they are likely to be- come the sort of parents who live at restaur- ants, flit from one apartment to another and feel no love or pride in their homes. If they grow up with no knowledge of what marriage and parenthood involves, they are likely to marry hastily, shirk par- enthood, and end in unhappiness or even divorce. Lastly, let me insist that this plea of shielding our children from responsibility is based on an utter mistake as to what makes people happy. The idlest and most pleas- ure-loving young people I know are the most unhappy, the most discontented. Those who share not merely the play, but the work and even the sorrow and care in their homes are the happiest. Is it too much to assume that they will also be the happiest home-makers of the future'? THE DRONE AND THE WORKER There is nothing, I believe, which makes or mars a man's happiness so effectually as his attitude toward work and toward his own special task. Nor is there anything which more profoundly affects the economic and the moral life of a nation than the spirit of its workers. We are having, as I write, a most humiliat- ing and disheartening exhibition of what a nation must suffer when its workers are in- terested in doing as little and getting as much as possible. This ideal of getting something for nothing is suicidal, as the workers and the capitalists alike must learn, sooner or later. Similarly, the boy and girl who enter the working world with this false ideal are doomed, and justly, to disappointment. One often hears a college student say, 247 250 Character Training in Childhood to be entirely avoided, if possible and, if not, to be shirked and scamped? We all know people whose aversion to work is excusable on the ground of ill health. But this is not the real root of the matter in most cases, especially as so many extremely frail people have been possessed of indomi- table energy, — witness Stevenson, Darwin, Woodrow Wilson, and scores of others. Often, too, indolence is excused on the ground that one's work is uncongenial. This argument would have more weight if there were not so many people who find any work uncongenial. The root of the difficulty seems to me to be that industry, like unselfishness, is not, ex- cept in rare individuals, an inborn trait. The savage, as a rule, except under the spur of hunger or danger, is lazy; so is the un- trained ''civilized " man; so, except where he has been otherwise taught, is the average child. Now how shall we give our children such an attitude toward work that they shall see The Drone and the Worker 251 it as both a duty and a privilege? How shall we train them to overcome the selfish, dependent, indolent spirit that animates the savage, and grow into the serviceable, in- dependent, industrious spirit that marks a really civilized human being? This question has already to some extent been answered in the preceding chapters; but I wish to add a word in regard to this matter of our attitude toward work. Every human being who is born into the world comes here to do something, to con- tribute something which no other soul can give. Our children must not only be given work to do, must not only be given technical training, must not only be prepared for their vocations, — they must also be made to feel that they are, above all else, workers. They must regard work as the only condi- tion on which an able-bodied man has a right to live and receive the benefits of society. If we are to give our children this atti- tude, we must first make it our own. "We must not envy those who make wealth an 252 Character Training in Childhood excuse for idleness. We must honestly ad- mire, and show our children that we admire everyone, high or low, who works hard and well. We must condemn, in vigorous terms, the ideal of ''something for nothing." We must praise the child's effort, even if it is less successful than his more brilliant broth- er's. We must, by our own scorn, train our children to scorn sloth and dependence. In the primary readers when I was a child, there was a delightful parable about a "Lit- tle Red Hen," who sowed a grain of wheat and asked all the barnyard fowls to help her, but all were too lazy. She met with the same refusal in regard to the reaping, threshing, milling and baking of the flour into a cake, and at each refusal, "Well, I will then," said the Little Red Hen, — and she did. But at last, when it came to eating the cake, every fowl in the yard was eager to help. But, "I'll do that myself," said the Little Red Hen, — and she did. Across the years I can still remember the The Drone and the Worker 253 satisfaction with which I thought of the little hen eating her well-earned cake while the lazy fowls looked enviously on. For older children, there is much inspira- tion in the biographies of famous men and women who won their way upward through hard work. If the hoys read the lives of Lincoln, Edison and Roosevelt, and the girls follow the struggles of Anna Howard Shaw, Clara Barton and Alice Freeman Palmer, work will gain a new dignity and worth in their eyes. Another line of reading that will help may be found in books concerning the " Heroes of Peace," — the firemen, police, ex- plorers, and all the multitude of workers who daily give their lives to make the world more comfortable and worth while for the rest of us. If a boy or girl once gets the vision of this world as an army of workers, he or she will be as much ashamed to be a " slacker" as every decent man was during the great war. 254 Character Training in Childhood But it is not quite enough to feel work as a duty; it must also be realized as a privi- lege. When Bobbie reaches the manly age of seven, give him the privilege of blacking his own boots. Let the more interesting and responsible tasks be given as rewards for the faithful worker; for Elbert Hubbard was quite right in declaring that the reward for good work is the ability to do more and better work. And when you pass a mutilated soldier, impress on Bobbie, and on his sister and older brother, that the tragedy of being un- able to work is almost the worst that can befall a manly man. Make them feel that there is nothing so bitter as the bitterness of willing dependence upon others, and no joy so real, so deep, so lasting as the satisfaction of honest work honestly done. If we fail to teach this one great truth to our children, we have failed to teach them one of the main facts in life. If we do suc- ceed in teaching them this, we shall have The Drone and 4he Worker 255 given them a staff and a solace which will make their happiness substantial and their sorrows endurable, for the remainder of their lives. VII THE EELIGIOUS EDUCATION OF THE CHILD THE RELIGION OF A CHILD The question of meeting the religious needs of our children seems to me the most vital, the most difficult and the most unsuc- cessfully handled of all the questions in- volved in child training. Here again, if we are honest, we must ad- mit that the difficulty lies not in our children mainly, but in ourselves. We cannot make religion a reality to them unless it is first a reality to us. We cannot lead thought- less, selfish, pleasure-seeking lives and make the nobler life seem desirable to them. Chil- dren are, above all, honest. They detect shams with unerring intuition. Many and many a child has become a scoffer at all re- ligion because of the contrast between his parents' teaching and their living. "What you are speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. ' ' Therefore the first step in giving our chil- 259 260 Character Training in Childhood dren a truly religious spirit is to make sure that we have that spirit ourselves. In "Joan and Peter," Wells makes the school- master say, "If a little boy has not only heard of God but seen God as a living in- fluence upon the people about him, then, I admit, you have something real. He will believe in God. — Such a boy's world will fall into shape about the idea of God. Such a boy can be religious from childhood. But there are very few such homes. For all other boys, God, for all practical purposes does not exist." The statement that "there are very few such homes" is as true of America as of England. Sometimes this is due to the fact that the parents really are shallow, irre- ligious and material and that God is not ' ' a living influence." Sometimes, — let us hope more often, — they have a real religion, and feel God as a living influence, but they can- not break through their reserve. They hide their religious impulses even from the eyes of their children, and so the children never ^ RELIGION OF A CHILD is expressed not through set forms, but through reverence, love and service. Encourage children to admire beauty and to "look through Nature up to Natures God" The Religion of a Child 261 see religion as a vital part of life. Wells truly says that for these children God, actu- ally "does not exist." There is still a third type of parent with whom religion is a real thing, and who is eager to share it with his children, but who makes the mistake of trying to cram an adult conception of religion down the throat of his child. Nothing is more futile than to preach dogma to a child or to enforce upon him a ritual which, to him, must be quite meaning- less. There are dogmas which to many adults are very precious, there are forms and rituals which are full of sacred, spirit- ual meaning, but which merely puzzle the child. I am reminded of a little seven-year-old friend of mine whose Quaker mother one day permitted her to go unattended to a church close by, where her friend, Mrs. L., wor- shipped. Edna returned from church with a sadly dejected air. "Didn't thee enjoy church, dear?" her mother inquired. 262 Character Training in Childhood "No," was the reply. "Did thee sit in Mrs. L.'s pew?" "Yes, but she was very rude to me." "Kude! Oh surely not! What did she do?" "Why, just before the end of the service, they passed around refreshments, and Mrs. L. never offered me a single bit." Just as, to little Edna, the communion service was merely "refreshments," so the dogmas of the Atonement, the Trinity and the Incarnation are to children mere puz- zling words, which are somehow mysteri- ously mixed up with the God to whom grown folks pray. No, the religion of the childish heart does not naturally express itself in dogma or rit- ual, but in instinctive reverence, in love for family, friends and household pets, and in service. I say "instinctive" reverence, because I firmly believe reverence to be an instinct of the human heart, — though, like many other instincts, it may wither away if not fed and The Religion of a Child 263 allowed suitable expression. People speak of the "irreverence of youth" but I think the phrase is based on a mistake. Of course children do not reverence things or people that are not truly reverend, — they are too honest for that. But they do reverence, un- less their instinct has been stifled or per- verted, that which they really feel to be higher and better than themselves. One of the high lights in my childhood is the memory of an enormously fleshy old lady who frequently visited our home and whose many eccentricities of speech and manner we, — behind her back, — took a wicked de- light in mimicking. I can still see my old- est sister, with pillows fore and aft, sail- ing majestically about the playroom " tak- ing off" old Miss G., while the rest of us rocked back and forth in spasms of laughter. Was this irreverence? Not at all. Miss G. was, to us, a selfish, tedious old nuisance who was always arriving at the wrong time and who always wanted to hold your hand and inquire as to your progress at school 264 Character Training in Childhood when you were aching to get back to your interrupted game. There was nothing rev- erend about her. But we knew full well what reverence meant. We gave it in fullest measure to the genius who presided over our home, whose love and sympathy were inexhaustible, whose rule was based on justice and whose authority was as unquestioned as the laws of the universe. In her we saw, and revered, the embodiment at once of love and law. I sometimes question whether any child can quite make up in later life for the ir- reverence that springs from having "irrev- erend" parents. Someone has pertinently remarked that unless the child can revere the father whom he has seen, the man will find it hard to revere the Father whom he has not seen. Yes, the first step in making a child rever- ent is to give him parents, teachers and older companions whom he can respect, admire and love, — who are honest, loving, just and consistent. The Religion of a Child 265 The second step, as we have said, is that he shall catch the reverent, religious spirit from those around him, seeing God as a real and living influence upon their lives. The third is that he shall be brought into constant contact with the beautiful, pure and inspiring sights and sounds of this world and be guarded from the ugly, sordid and de- basing ones. The strong man can learn to see God even amid squalor and iniquity, but the little child must first learn to worship Him in "the beauty of holiness." The slum is the creator of the irreverent and lawless. Its product is the ' * tough guy ' ' who boasts that he respects neither God nor man. The same thing, in a lesser degree, is true of the lurid or vulgar motion picture, the coarse and stupid "comic" supplement, the suggestive story, the stage horse-play, the dance which substitutes "jazz" and "pep" for grace and beauty, the whole mass of stupid, ugly inanities which so blind our eyes and deafen our ears that we cannot see or hear the beauty of God's universe. 266 Character Training in Childhood No, you cannot build a reverent spirit among surroundings where there is nothing to revere, for reverence is the feeling that comes over us when we recognize something higher, nobler, more beautiful than our- selves. Reverence and humility go hand in hand, and for this reason an unspoiled child is full of reverence, living, as he does, in a universe where he sees so much strength, so much power, where all are so much bigger and know so much more than he. But the child who lives among silly, fickle adults, and whose attention is fixed upon sordid interests and vulgar pleasures, that child's innate reverence is likely to die of starvation. This is especially the case where the nat- ural and beautiful humility of childhood is spoiled by "showing off." I do not mean that we should not encour- age our children and even urge them to come forward and win recognition. Assuredly we have passed the old idea that " children The Religion of a Child 267 should be seen and not heard." But the child who is encouraged to be "smart," whose precocious impudence to his elders evokes only laughter, who sees his own con- ceited little self as the largest and most im- portant thing in sight, — that child, if he is ever to become a reverent man, can become so only through bitter disillusionment and sorrow. This, to my mind, touches upon a fatal weakness in some modern methods of educa- tion, — methods which, in their desire to de- velop self-expression, are in danger of kill- ing reverence. A friend of mine once visited a school where the children were given, according to this theory, every opportunity for self-ex- pression, and where the word "obedience" was taboo. As she passed a small boy, she accidentally brushed against his work. Be- fore she could apologize, he struck a violent blow at her. She remonstrated, whereat he looked up in surprise and said, "Oh, I thought you were one of the teachers!" 268 Character Training in Childhood Let me not be misunderstood. I entirely approve the development of self-expression, but not when it means the sacrifice of cour- tesy and that deeper feeling which, as I have said, is the root of all reverence. RELIGION AND THE HOME To the child's unspoiled, natural rever- ence, must be added service. To his faith must be added works. And, as the child grows older, as his reason develops, bringing with it questions and perhaps doubts, he must be given a reasonable and satisfying mental basis for his faith. Just as reverence begins in the home, so must belief and service first take root there. By a "mental basis for faith" I mean that we must lead our children to see life not as a haphazard jumble of utterly inscrutable mysteries, but as a series of causes and ef- fects, through which, though in partial and broken glimpses, we may trace the One Cause of all. In the kindergarten, when the children have their luncheon of bread, the teacher shows them a spray of wheat. Perhaps she 269 270 Character Training in Childhood also shows a handful of flour. Maybe they build a mill with their blocks and sing a song about the miller. And then they repeat the beautiful verse : "Back of the loaf is the snowy flour And back of the flour is the mill, And back of the mill is the wheat and the shower. And the sun — and the Father's will." They sing about the seeds which they plant, and which will, through the magic of sun and rain, be turned into flowers. They wriggle about the floor as caterpillars, then curl up into make-believe cocoons and at last dart hither and thither as radiant butter- flies. In all their games, songs and activi- ties, they repeat over and over the vast story of creation, seeing all things as parts of a mighty whole, all subject to the eternal law of cause and effect. But does the average home strengthen and further the influence of the kindergarten in this respect? Alas, it does not! In many, if not most homes, the child's instinctive thirst for knowledge of the reason behind RELIGION ^D the HOME Religious influences begin in the norm £7he Qveuincf Siori/" Help children to grasp the law of cause and effect and to see God in all beauty and happiness. ■ Religion and the Home 271 commands and the causes back of results is unmercifully snubbed. ''Mother, why can't I go out?" "Because I say so!" "Father, what makes my heart beat?" "Why, that's what hearts are for. Don't ask silly questions." "Mother, where do babies come from?" "The stork brings them on his back." So we go on, checking, evading, lying, — doing anything and everything rather than trying to show the child, simply and clearly, the workings of that law of cause and effect which rules the universe. And yet we won- der that people are illogical, superstitious, irreverent. Why should they be otherwise ? What is there to inspire reverence in a hap- hazard universe ruled over by a God of Whims ? Again I repeat that the irreverence and ir- religion of our children are our fault and not theirs. Little John arrives in a strange, new world. He soon discovers that "you never can tell" what the effect of any action 272 Character Training in Childhood will be. Sometimes if you cry, it brings a smiling, soothing face and two soft arms around you. Sometimes it brings a most unpleasant spank. If you yell, it may bring grandma who will call you her lamb and walk up and down with you, or again it may bring Nora who will slap you. As little John grows older, he finds that it becomes more and more difficult to forecast the results of things. Sometimes when he says, "I won't," Mother just laughs; some- times she looks apologetic, — that is when she has company, — and gently says, "Oh, dar- ling, don't speak so to mother. " And some- times she says nothing at all, but just grabs him and punishes him before he knows what has happened. And little John finds that it is the same with Father. Sometimes he can play with Father's things and Father will just smile and call him a little rogue ; but there was one dreadful time when he took a letter from Father's desk and instead of laughing, as Religion and the Home 273 lie had always done before, Father got quite red, and said a queer, interesting, new word, and shook John until Mother pulled him away. Isn't such an incalculable, change- able universe enough to make any little boy feel that it is all a silly muddle, without any Reason back of it? And thus little John is likely to grow either into the bigot who blindly and super- stitiously bows to the will of a capricious and tyrannical deity, or into the cynic, who, behind the dark riddle of the universe, can discern no God. But Baby Mary, almost as soon as she ar- rives in this world, begins to feel that it is a place where law reigns. If one screams merely for pleasure or for company, one is left alone. If one smiles, one sees the smile reflected back from loving eyes. If Mother says/' No, darling," her gentle voice and smile mean "No," just the same. When Father says he will read aloud to you that night, he always does it, even if he is tired. 274 Character Training in Childhood When Mother promises you a treat or a punishment, you are sure in either case to have it. And Mother and Father are never too busy to tell you the why of things. They will tell you, just as far as you can understand, everything you ask about. And so the world comes to seem to Mary a very beautiful and orderly place, where one has a comforting sense of security, — a place where certain things lead to certain other things, where naughtiness always brings sorrow and where love always begets happiness and love in re- turn. And so Mary sees the universe ruled, as her home is ruled, by a loving and just Power, upon whose laws His children may eternally rely. Mary, as she grows older, may, indeed, for- sake the doctrines of her parents, but she can never forsake their faith, for it is grounded in every fibre of her being, from her very infancy. The Reverend W. C. Gannett, in a beauti- ful little book entitled "The Little Child at Religion and the Home 275 the Breakfast Table," suggests a number of childlike, simple prayers and readings which might well be used in any home. Among them is a poem of his own called, "In the Father's House," which expresses most beautifully the place of the home in forming the child's religious thought. "I read of 'many mansions' Within the House Divine, But need not go to find them, For one of them is mine. "And when I say, 'Our Father,' It seems so far away To think of Heaven up yonder — I think of Home, and pray." RELIGIOUS EDUCATION In a recent gathering at which I was pres- ent, the conversation turned upon early re- ligious education and each one related his own childish experience. It so happened that the six people pres- ent represented six different sects. The first two speakers represented the Roman Catholic and the Protestant Episcopal faiths. They had, in early childhood, been taught the doctrines of their parents' church, had accepted them as unquestion- ingly as they had accepted their school teach- er 's statement that the earth was round, and still held these doctrines as matters to be ac- cepted on faith. Of the other four, the first was reared in the Baptist doctrine. "Religion meant nothing to me as a child," she said. "I was taught the doctrines of my church, but they 276 Religious Education 277 merely bored me. It was only when I reached the age of about fourteen that re- ligion really began to mean something to me." The fourth speaker said, "I was brought up a Scotch Presbyterian, but its doctrines repelled me. I joined the church, but it never satisfied me. When I grew up, I be- came a Christian Scientist. I was a reli- gious minded child, but doctrine did not sat- isfy me." The fifth speaker was born into a Method- ist household. "I hated Sunday," he said, "and I never saw any sense in church doc- trine. My parents were truly religious, and trained us conscientiously, but by the time I was fourteen, my sister and I were holding surreptitious discussions as to whether there really was a God. We both thought not. It was only when I grew older, and saw God through Nature and man, that I won any religious faith." The sixth, a Quaker, said, "I was taught no doctrine whatever, as a child. I had a 278 Character Training in Childhood loving, just, consistent mother who tried to make me see God as the source of all good gifts, who presented Jesus as the Perfect Example, and who taught me that the 1 Light Within' was the one absolute guide to right living. My faith today is the same as when I was a child. ' ' I quote this conversation not to advocate the teaching or the avoidance of doctrine, much less to praise or blame any one of the six churches mentioned. I mention it merely to illustrate how little effect doctrine has on the conduct of children. If they are of the unquestioning, conservative tempera- ment, they will accept any doctrine taught them, just as they accept the statement that the sun is almost ninety-three million miles from the earth, — a statement whose truth, for them, is based on authority alone, not on personal conviction. If they are of the skeptical, inquiring tem- perament, they will begin to dissect and cri- ticise doctrines whose inner symbolism they cannot understand, and this process will Religious Education 279 often end in turning the child altogether away from the church of his parents. In either case, doctrine has no real, vital part in the life of any child, until he has reached an age where he is able to see the spiritual significance of doctrine and ritual. It may then make an appeal to both heart and mind, but it has no place in early child- hood. Has the Sunday School, then, no mission to the child? Assuredly. The Sunday School should extend and deepen the reli- gious influences of the home. It should be to the child what the church should be to the man, a common center for inspiration, devo- tion and service, not in solitude, but with his fellows. As I have said, young children are not in- terested in doctrine. The Sunday School should give them reverent Nature study, old Testament stories, simply told, allegories and symbolic fairy tales. As they grow older, they will be intensely interested in stories of great men and 280 Character Training in Childhood women. They should learn from Joan of Arc the power of absolute faith, from Clara Barton the joy of service, and from Father Damien the beauty of selfless sacrifice for others. Thus shall they learn, through studying the flowers, the animals and the great men and women of this world, to know the God who, as someone has said, sleeps in the stones, dreams in the animals and wakes in man. Above all, they should know the New Testament story not as dogma, not as an un- real tale about half -mythical personages, but as the story of actual happenings experi- enced by real men and women. The Founder of Christianity must be loved as a man before the child can truly worship him as a God. I shall never forget once talking with a group of boys from ten to fourteen years old who had been reared in the slums of Phil- adelphia. It was Palm Sunday and I had asked them why it was so called. If Religious Education 281 ''Why because they have palms in church that day." "Yes, but why do they have the palms?" I replied. No one could answer. No one had ever heard the story of Jesus' last week on earth. They knew, vaguely, that he had been cruci- fied, but how or why they had never heard. They had never been told of the last supper, of Judas 's betrayal, of the scene in Geth- semane, or of Easter morning. To most of us this is indeed, as the hymn says, "the old, old story," so old that too often it seems unreal. But to those boys it was as new as the afternoon newspaper. I tried to strip it of all ecclesiasticism, to tell it as simply and directly as if it were some- thing that had happened not nineteen-hun- dred years ago in Jerusalem, but yesterday in Philadelphia. And I had my reward. They listened with breathless interest. I purposely dwelt but lightly on the cruci- fixion, not wishing to revolt them or feed a 282 Character Training in Childhood morbid taste for the dreadful, but the story so held them that one little fellow of twelve exclaimed, ' ' Gee ! Just think of their put- ting nails through his hands and feet! I couldn't have done it, — I'd rather have been killed, myself!" Anyone who has ever told a child a Bible story which he himself felt not as a story, but a reality, can duplicate my experience. If the Bible is unreal to our children, it is because it is unreal to us who attempt to teach them. Another benefit of Sunday School attend- ance is that it accustoms the child to think of religion not as a merely personal matter, but as something in which he can help and be helped by others. By taking part in the singing, the prayers and other Sunday School services, he feels himself a member of that Christian Church which moves "like a mighty army" against the forces of destruc- tion and evil. The prayer which he mur- murs beside his bed at night may make him feel the Fatherhood of God, but the prayer Religious Education 283 in which his voice mingles with his fellows will help him to realize the Brotherhood of Man. Thus attendance at Sunday School is the best preparation for the right sort of church membership and for taking part in the wor- ship, the responsibilities and the civic activi- ties of the church. No matter what our creed, or lack of creed, our children, if they are to lead the fullest religious life, need this association with others, this sense that they are an ac- tive part of the force that is working to bring in the Kingdom. KELIGION IS A PERSONAL POWER The religion of a child, as we have said before, expresses itself in reverence, love and service. What form may that service take ? How can we make his religion a reality to the child, — how shall we make the religious sentiment function in service I As the feel- ing of hunger has for its end the functions of digestion and nutrition, so the religious feelings have for their natural end the func- tion of service. As the man who gratifies his appetite without regard to his digestion suffers, so must the man suffer who indulges in a religious sentimentality that has no thought of service. Spiritual indigestion and malnutrition are the inevitable result. How, I repeat, shall we train our children to make their religious instincts flower into service % 284 RELIGION isA PERSONAL POWER Religion leads to right action. Without it an alert mind and body may be turned to evil ends. A yflodern "Good Samariia n The test of religion is conduct. Sentiment, without action, b ecomes e sent nnen mpty tality. ■< . .... ■. ■ Religion Is a Personal Power 285 We must begin in the home and with the child's personal relationships. As the child first learns reverence through respect and admiration for his parents, and first learns to love God through loving his father and mother, so he should first learn to serve God by helping them. The scriptural injunction to " Honor thy father and thy mother" seems rather out of fashion, nowadays. In their desire to give their children every advantage, Father and Mother have in most cases made the entire life of the household visibly revolve about the children, their advancement, their de- sires, their pleasure. It is, of course, quite proper that the fam- ily life should first and foremost consider what is for the best welfare of the children. But it is not for the best welfare of the children to feel themselves, that they are the rightful center of interest and that their pleasure is of more importance than their parents' comfort. On the contrary, it is best for the children to feel that Father's or 286 Character Training in Childhood Mother's or Grannie's happiness is of prime importance. Of course the only way to rouse this un- selfish instinct for service is for each parent to "play into the other's hands." Mother can suggest that Brother help Father to mow the lawn, that Sister make his favorite dessert or stay home to play cards with him instead of going out when he has an after- noon at home, that Baby bring his slippers and make him a book mark or a blotter. Father can urge the children to help mother with her housework, to plan little surprises and treats for her and to show their love for her in a thousand little, practical ways. As for Grannie, blessed is the child who, through possessing such a constant oppor- tunity for service, learns the lesson of will- ing and joyful forget fulness of self. A most beautifully " serviceable " woman once said to me, " Thank Heaven, I had the old-fashioned sort of grandmother whom I could wait upon and who was the center of our home! We children regarded her as Religion Is a Personal Power 287 the natural pivot upon whose comfort our life must turn. Not that she was selfish, — far from it ; but she was frail and helpless. Our boisterous play had to be checked, lest it disturb her nap. Our outings were modi- fied to suit her convenience. Every day my sister and I walked some distance to a dairy to get the buttermilk which she liked best. Her love and appreciation were our reward. I can see her now, with her sparkling dark eyes and white satin bands of rippling hair, — so pretty, so frail, — she was the most won- derful opportunity for service that any child could have." The opportunities for service in the home are less obvious today than when this speaker was a child, thirty years ago. The modern grandmother is, as a rule, neither frail, nor appealing. She is likely to be a capable, shrewd, up-to-date sort of person. The modern home, with every labor-sav- ing convenience, has swept away many of the little " chores" that old-fashioned children 288 Character Training in Childhood used to do. The telephone runs many of the errands. The janitor sweeps the sidewalk and tends the furnace. The department store, bakery and grocery deliver their "readymade" products at the door. Elec- tricity has done away with the filling of lamps and steam-heat with the bringing in of wood and carrying out of ashes. There is a real danger that with the pass- ing of old-fashioned inconveniences our children may also lose some of the old-fash- ioned opportunities for service and the spirit of co-operation in the home. It is the busi- ness of every parent to discover and if neces- sary to create opportunities for service for his children. Every great religious teacher from the be- ginning of time has pointed out that " Faith without works is dead," that the test of re- ligion is whether it bears fruit in service. Now, if our children are to be "service- able" citizens, they must first learn the spirit and art of service in the home. It is non- sense to teach civics and public spirit to a Religion Is a Personal Power 289 bo} T or girl who, in the home, is being trained in selfish individualism. You cannot make a good internationalist of a bad patriot, or a public-spirited citizen of a selfish son and brother. The spirit of service grows in ever-widening circles from the home outward. I once heard it said of the late Edward Everett Hale that he was the right sort of " world-citizen" because he was a patriotic American, because he was a loyal son of Massachusetts, because he was a devoted Bostonian, because he was a loving, helpful son and brother. Therefore, since we learn to serve only through serving, let us try to make our young people think a little less about "the right of the individual to self-expression " and a little more about the duty of every liv- ing soul to be of service. Let us train them to seek opportunities for usefulness. Only thus can religion be made real. Only thus can they be prepared for a useful and happy life. RELIGION IS A SOCIAL POWER It is often pointed out that while "Charity begins at home," it should not stop there, and it is equally true that the Religion of Service, which begins in the home, must ex- tend to the city, state, nation and world. It is a matter of common observation that devoted husbands and fathers are not al- ways honest business men, that zealous citi- zens often j)lace the interests of their own community above those of the nation, and that ardent patriots are not above "goug- ing" foreign governments, when they see a chance. The little child is essentially an egoist. Religion is that socializing power which leads him out of the prison of self and teaches him to subordinate self to family, family to community, community to nation and nation to the world. 290 Religion Is a Social Power 291 We have already spoken of training in service in the home and for the family. How shall we train our children for wider service in the community? Here again, we must begin with the sim- ple, everyday relationships that daily enter the child 's life. "What should be his attitude toward the policeman, the fireman, the ash- collector, the street-sweeper? A friend of mine who was herself deeply imbued with civic spirit determined that her little son should be the same. So, when he was not more than two years old, she would say, as they crossed the street, "See how hard the sweeper has worked so that Brother may have a clean place to walk in, and not soil his new shoes. There is the sweeper now. Would you like to thank him?" And the baby, again and again, thanked the "white wings" for cleaning the crossing. My friend said that that Italian sweeper seemed to put fresh heart into his work, looked daily for the grateful baby and when, later, her little boy died, the sweeper's grief 292 Character Training in Childhood touched her heart. Who knows what new sense of human brotherhood and of civic dig- nity in his humble task came to that Italian laborer from that one mother's thoughtf ill- ness? Yet how few parents ever think to point out our debt to the various public servants upon whom so much of our safety and com- fort depends. The mother who will not al- low her children to "clutter up" the house which she must clean, thinks nothing of let- ting them throw paper and rubbish into the street, for the sweeper to pick up. The policeman is a bugaboo to the small child and a joke to the older one. The garbage collector is regarded with contempt. Up- setting ash barrels is ' ' fun, ' ' — no matter how the ashman regards it ! Now all this is wrong, — so wrong that un- til it is righted we can make no headway with teaching the higher and nobler aspects of civics. Again I repeat, children are not im- pressed by talk. They are impressed by Religion Is a Social Power 293 persons and visible actions. Many schools have had policemen actually come to the school, tell the children about their work and suggest ways in which the children may help. A real, live fireman, explaining his work, exhibiting his apparatus, and telling the children how they may help the Depart- ment by avoiding fire risks is worth all the abstract talks in the world. A visit to a garbage reduction plant will make the child understand and respect the law against mix- ing garbage with other refuse. A study of the actual working of the street cleaning de- partment will enlist the boy or girl in the movement for a cleaner city. Most children, — and most adults, I fear, — live in their city as guests in a strange house, where everything is done for their comfort, but where they feel no responsibil- ity. Not only do they feel no responsibility for helping, but too often they actually hin- der. Their activity seems to expend itself in fault-finding and in querulous complaints that "they" don't do anything to better mat- 294 Character Training in Childhood ters. The critics never seem to consider that in a democracy "they" means you and me, and that government can rise no higher than the level of our intelligence and energy. Now the only way to bring in a better world order is through better, more social- minded men and women, and the only way to rear a generation of such men and women is to give them the social viewpoint in their childhood. But they will not gain this viewpoint un- less parents, teachers and the general pub- lic combine to aid them in doing so. As I have said, even a very little child may be led to see himself as a debtor to his community. Even a baby may be taught to do his part toward civic cleanliness by throwing paper in the trash-can instead of littering the street. He may be taught that waste is wrong, that the firemen need water to put out fires and that the gardener in the park needs it to water his plants, so that the rest of us must not leave faucets use- lessly running. He may be taught not to Religion Is a Social Power 295 mark and deface buildings and sidewalks. As the child grows older, he should be shown the workings of the various city de- partments, should understand all that the city, state and nation do for their citizens, — how they protect him from danger, from fire, from impure food; how they provide free parks, playgrounds, music and other pleasure ; how they give every child the op- portunity for education; how, every day of his life, he is protected, strengthened and guided by the State. He should be shown how much it costs the state to do all this, and he should be made to feel it a shameful thing that any man, woman or child should re- ceive so much and give nothing in return. We must mobilize our children for the defense of their own future. We must en- list them as Junior Sanitary Inspectors, or in Civic Leagues, or in some other form of concerted striving for practical citizenship. We must make them feel that every right carries with it a duty and every privilege a responsibility. 296 Character Training in Childhood These are days of " reconstruction." We hear much talk of framing better laws, mak- ing a better environment, building a new and better civilization. All this is as it should be. Let us, by all means, have a better social structure. But let us not forget that to have a better struc- ture, we must have a better foundation and the foundation of a noble and stable State is earnest, devoted, public-spirited citizens. These citizens are the boys and girls of to- day. It lies with us what they shall become. It lies with us whether they shall be selfish individualists, seeking their own pleasure, or strong men and women, embodying in their lives the Religion of Democracy, and making America a fitter place for their chil- dren and their children's children. THE END r '/fiHAINfHV^ ^flMITO-JO^ '^HHIIVMO'* 5 ' 2= ^ ^*^r ^EUN!VER%