CDis Book is tbc propertp 
 of tbe Hospital 
 
 AND IS PRESENTED BY THE 
 
 Brltisb Red Cross Society and 
 
 . Order of St. 3ofcn . 
 
 hospital Cibrarp, 
 
 48, QUEEN'S GARDENS, 
 
 LANCASTER GATE, LONDON, 
 
 W. 2. 
 
 Readers are requested not to turn 
 down the corner of the page and to 
 hand the Book back to the Hon. 
 Librarian in the state they themselves 
 would like to receive it.
 
 r
 
 ,r 

 
 The Book of Ballynoggin
 
 The 
 
 Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 By 
 
 L. C. Alexander 
 
 London 
 
 Grant Richards 
 1902
 
 Contents 
 
 PAGE 
 
 THE ELDER ....... i 
 
 THE OLD BLOOD 31 
 
 MIKE THE OMADHOUN 55 
 
 LARRY ........ 71 
 
 IN WAX 95 
 
 THAT YOUNG MINX . . . . . -115 
 
 CHOSE JUGE . . . . . . .177 
 
 THE "TRE FALTI" 189 
 
 THAT LITTLE CAD z6 7 
 
 THE GREAT SWEEPSTAKE . . . . .303 
 
 2066167
 
 ,
 
 ' 
 
 The Elder 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 FATHER O'KAY of Baleila was on his way to Ballynoggin 
 to consult Lawyer Kennada. 
 
 A strange thing had just happened, and Father O'Kay's 
 manner was more than usually abstracted though there 
 was an expression of excitement in his eyes and a glow 
 on each cheekbone. 
 
 His old one-eyed cob was quite aware of his master's 
 state of mind and so took matters leisurely. He began 
 with a satisfying brush of his forehead against the tufts 
 of fern on a mossy dyke ; after which he made arabesques 
 along the road, for the grasses, dandelions and great 
 sorrels grew on either side ; and, as every horse knows, 
 casual snatches of such dusty salad are sweeter far than 
 the formal abundance of mere stable corn or authorised 
 pasture in dewy meads. 
 
 The road went up and down, winding between the 
 vandyked sandy little beaches where the offshoot of the 
 great bay outside cut into the land and lay like a shining 
 tentacle on one side, and the jagged limestone rocks on 
 the other side, with some fisherfolks' cottages and a few 
 comfortable houses here and there, picturesquely disposed ; 
 and, where it turned more inland, sheltered hollows where 
 great trees hung across it. 
 
 The cob knew the most pleasant spots. In one of 
 them he dreamt and cogitated at considerable length, un- 
 A I
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 disturbed. Then, hearing a slight rustle behind him, and 
 sensible that the lax rein had fallen altogether on his neck, 
 he turned his practicable eye round, and seeing his master 
 unfold a letter, he hung his head and dozed off in a 
 business-like way on three feet and the tip of a fourth. 
 
 Father O'Kay read out, for the tenth time, at the 
 least 
 
 "On the nth July 18 " 
 
 " That's ten years ago," he commented. Then he 
 exclaimed in surprise "Why, this is the nth July! 
 I didn't notice it before. That is a very singular thing 
 a very singular thing." 
 
 He resumed the reading : 
 
 "Mr J. "W. Pitt with his wife, his young son his 
 living daughter was in a school in England two grand- 
 children, who were double orphans, and two negro 
 servants, man and wife, sailed from Calpalca, on the 
 Magdalena River, on board a brig which he had bought 
 cheap. It had been captured and condemned for trying 
 to run arms and contraband stores in the last, or last but 
 one, revolution. He was sick of the state of the country, 
 and he had got a hint that the other side meant to do him 
 harm if it succeeded next time. He was known to be a 
 personal friend of the actual president, and he was sus- 
 pected of sending him arms and money in the last up-set. 
 
 " There is always another side out here ; and when it 
 gets the upper hand another side comes to a head and 
 tries to turn it out, and there is fighting and flying, and 
 a great deal more public and private revenge and plunder 
 than the world ever hears of. 
 
 " So, Mr Pitt sold up houses, stores, lands, machinery, 
 cattle, and everything else. There was nothing else for 
 it : he wanted to get away smartly while he had the 
 chance. 
 
 2
 
 The Elder 
 
 " He had to face some loss, but that was a small 
 matter. He went round the bigger merchants and planters 
 and bought bills on London, Liverpool, Hamburg, and 
 other places. He was a good man of business and did 
 a fine stroke in taking several hundred tons of cargo at 
 top rates coffee, rubber, bark, dye woods, tobacco, and 
 such like. 
 
 " He intended to make Nassau or other safe port, 
 tranship to steamer, and sell the brig. 
 
 " He got together a scratch crew Spanish, Dutch 
 and American eight or nine as all the original crew 
 were in prison. He picked up a smart fellow, a Scotch- 
 man, I believe, as captain, named David Neaves. I 
 remember his name for I had it on my bill of lading. 
 He had been imprisoned, too, but he wriggled or bribed 
 himself out, pretending that he had been only a passenger 
 picked up from a wreck. But I have no doubt that he 
 was the real captain and, perhaps, also owner or part 
 owner, with some underling as nominal captain. Any- 
 way, he satisfied Mr Pitt, who was no fool. 
 
 " I took 2000 of his money or local acceptances as 
 good as money for which I gave him bills on my Liver- 
 pool agents. 
 
 " He took with him, loose, some thirty or forty 
 thousand pesetas, a good deal of jewellery (his wife 
 and the dead married daughter had a lot), the drafts on 
 Europe, and a quantity of bonds, title deeds, and so 
 forth. 
 
 "These he stowed in a small but very strong safe 
 which I sold him. I did it because he wanted it badly, 
 and we had been friends and neighbours so long, and 
 we might never see each other again. 
 
 " It was an old-fashioned safe, with a little arrangement 
 for setting the lock so that nobody could open it, even 
 
 3
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 with the proper key, unless he had the password to 
 which it happened to be set. 
 
 " From that day forth to this I have not seen or heard 
 anything about him except a crazy sort of story of his 
 old nigger who was landed at Carthagena, some months 
 later, and protested a long rigmarole about their being 
 all murdered on board, and his swimming to an island, 
 and being afterwards rescued. 
 
 " He was brought in by a British steamer, and it was 
 true enough that he had been taken off a little island 
 in the Florida Reef; but nobody could make head or 
 tail of his story, and nobody believed a word of it or 
 seemed to. He was almost a skeleton and his wool 
 had turned quite white. They clapped him in jail, 
 where he died raving mad some weeks after. 
 
 " I have never heard a word more, though I made 
 lots- of enquiries. 
 
 " My agents write me regularly that my draft, of 
 which I duly advised them, has never been presented 
 for acceptance. The money has been lying to my credit 
 all the time, and the usual commercial five per cent 
 interest has been accruing on it, making about a thousand 
 pounds additional. 
 
 " I did not know anyone belonging to him, nor the name 
 of the school where the girl was ; and I had no proper 
 evidence of his death ; and I came to consider that I had 
 a right to do what banks do with unclaimed balances 
 keep the money. 
 
 " But the thing has troubled my conscience of late. I 
 have had a touch or two of illness " 
 
 " Ha !" remarked Father O'Kay at this point. "Con- 
 science ! Been ill ! H'm ! " 
 
 Then he gently woke his cob from a deep sleep to turn 
 him round so that he might take a pinch of snuff in spite 
 
 4
 
 The Elder 
 
 of the wind ; and forgot to turn him back again. Where- 
 upon the cob took up his slumber where he had left off, 
 and his master, as he imagined himself to be, resumed the 
 letter : 
 
 " I have been trying to remember about his daughter's 
 school in England, but in vain. I do not know whether 
 she is even alive now. 
 
 " If she is alive I do not want to keep the money from 
 her. I will not have it on my soul, whether she is alive or 
 dead. 
 
 " I send you my draft for the full sum, with a hundred 
 pounds the more, and I have cancelled my former advices. 
 
 " If you think fit, and necessary, to try and find the girl 
 she must be a woman by this time or any other blood 
 relations, let it be as you prefer, and under a lawyer's 
 opinion that it is all right : and keep you, Reverend Sir, 
 the loo for your chapel or your poor. 
 
 " If no rightful claimant comes forward, or if you think 
 it no business of our's to seek them ; or if your lawyer, and, 
 above all, yourself, is not satisfied about it, or about the 
 persons coming forward if you consider it needful to seek 
 them then I make you free of the whole of the money 
 with my full heart and soul. 
 
 " But don't let it go from Baleila. Use all the odd 
 money as you please : it is your's : but let ^3000 be 
 funded so that the parish priest shall always have the 
 interest of it to do what he likes with, and the fund to 
 last for ever. 
 
 " And I should like, when I am dead, for a Mass to be 
 said once a year for my soul. 
 
 " Larry tells me how good you have been to him j and 
 my brother Peter would give his life-blood to save your 
 Reverence a minute's ache. I thank you for your kindness 
 to my boy, my one child in the world ; and may it please 
 
 5
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 God to let me live long enough to come across and see 
 you and Peter and the old place and the dear country 
 before I die ! 
 
 "P.S. If you do pay the big money away, keep the 
 hundred pounds anyway, for it has nothing at all to do 
 with the other." 
 
 Father O'Kay replaced the letter in his breast pocket. 
 
 " Again that vile thought ! " cried he, throwing up 
 his head with an angry gesture. " Retro Satanas ! " he 
 almost shouted. 
 
 Then his face softened as he lowered it and murmured 
 to himself: 
 
 " And yet and yet I found myself calculating more 
 on the use of the money here than on finding the rightful 
 heirs to it : more on the benefit than on the righteousness. 
 Mea culpa, mea culpa ! " 
 
 He smote his breast, then he clasped his hands and bent 
 his head in silent prayer. 
 
 These proceedings, from the snuff-box incident, had 
 been watched with grim curiosity and contempt by Mr 
 Andrew Beith who was slowly walking up the road. 
 
 Due salutations were followed by the latter's turning 
 round the cob, on learning the Priest's destination, and 
 they went along together at walking pace. 
 
 Full of the subject which preoccupied him, Father 
 O'Kay asked Mr Beith whether he had ever known or 
 heard of cases where ships were lost at sea without any- 
 thing ever turning up to denote their fate except their 
 total disappearance. 
 
 Mr Beith gave him a long, calm, searching look as if 
 to read in the old man's mind some indication of a corroding 
 remorse for ships cast away in lonely seas; or some sign 
 of a deadly secret confided to him -, or some misgiving as 
 to a crime in contemplation. 
 
 6
 
 The Elder 
 
 Father O'Kay seemed to guess his thought, for he 
 laughed as he said, as if answering the unspoken 
 questionings : 
 
 "No, no. I'm not going to turn pirate or even marine 
 Fenian. I ask for a reason which concerns others. God 
 be with the souls that are gone, and help those that are 
 left ! " 
 
 Mr Beith smiled slightly an unusual relaxation, if 
 not almost a relapse, for him as he replied : 
 
 " Aye, Mr O'Kay, many and many. And such things 
 happen daily and nightly, and never a sign nor a chip nor 
 a rag to tell the story, and nobody ever the wiser. The 
 mysterious visitation of the Lord who comes as a thief 
 in the night ; or the carelessness of officers ; or the 
 selfishness of owners ; or the bad hearts of men, which 
 are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked 
 until they have repentance given to them grace to cry 
 for grace and faith to pray for faith." 
 
 There was something fierce in the intensity of the man. 
 His rugged unashamed earnestness, and his almost proud 
 self-abasement had an element of grandeur. A vague 
 impression that there was a touch of insanity in the Elder's 
 contrition darted transiently through the Priest's mind ; 
 but it lost itself, as it were, at the instant of birth, in the 
 thought that Mr Beith, were he but a Catholic, might 
 have been a splendid ascetic, a devoted monk, a fearless 
 missionary, a passionless inquisitor. What a pity, sighed 
 he, that all this pent-up force should be thrown away on 
 a mere Presbyterian, torturing himself with the deceptions 
 of his ruthless beliefs, assertive individuality, and meta- 
 physical glooms ! He felt himself feeble and common- 
 place in comparison, until he balanced it with the reminder 
 that, after all, Mr Beith was a lost, though a strong, soul. 
 The while, the Elder reflected on the sadness of the 
 
 7
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 fact that Father O'Kay was a Papist, a tolerator of shrines 
 and visible presentments, a servitor of the Scarlet Lady, 
 a mere teller in a foreign Bank of Faith on which its 
 dupes draw their pitiable little cheques of hope which 
 are honoured by worthless paper tokens. He admitted 
 that, in a merely self-deluded moral way that trap and 
 pitfall for the unregenerated the Priest was a singularly 
 good man, whom he liked and esteemed, though he 
 detested his doctrines and had no doubts whatever as 
 to his future destiny. 
 
 Thus going along they talked of various local matters 
 in a quiet way. That is to say, the Priest mostly talked 
 and the Elder mostly scowled. But the former knew 
 that, in spite of his hard and cold manner, the latter 
 was by no means unsympathetic or uncharitable. Why, 
 he checked off to himself, there were those new sails 
 and nets which he bought for the wrecked fishermen ; 
 and didn't he, without a word, help those emigrants 
 when they were so sorely distressed at the threatened 
 separation and breaking up of two families ? And what 
 did he do about young Dempsey but buy him out of 
 the Army because his old mother was fretting about 
 the rapscallion, and his sweetheart was breaking her 
 heart for him ; and give him the cash to marry on and 
 find him work, besides ? And didn't he send money 
 last winter for his Father O'Kay's poor, and six 
 bottles of good red port wine for his own drinking at 
 Christmas time ? 
 
 He could prolong the list, and he felt that he could 
 pardon his companion's impregnable taciturnity : he even 
 hoped that, in some occult way, those inveteracies of piety, 
 uncompromising tenets, sour disconsolations and unepiscopal 
 blunderings might mercifully work out as a kind of un- 
 conscious penance. 
 
 8
 
 The Elder 
 
 If, he observed to himself, it was difficult to like him, 
 it was impossible to refrain from respecting him. 
 
 He rapidly ran over in his mind some of the theories 
 that were circulated about him all frankly imaginary 
 such as, that he had lost his wife ; that he had been 
 crossed in love when young j that he had been cursed 
 by his father ; that he had cast off his only daughter 
 who had married against his will ; that he had lost a 
 great fortune through the treachery of a friend ; that 
 his life had become embittered by the perfidy of a 
 woman ; or but this seemed too extravagantly improb- 
 able that he had been wild in his youth and had, in 
 an unguarded moment, happened across a revivalist , and 
 other speculations of an ingenious character, too probable 
 to be true. 
 
 But one circumstance, which was not at all theoretic, 
 furnished some clue as to his past. It was when a big 
 ship in the bay drifted from her moorings in the absence 
 of the captain, who was drunk ashore, and during a fight 
 between the drunken crew and the riggers and carpenters 
 on board and threatened wreck and disaster. Mr Beith, 
 in his shining broadcloth, jumped into a boat, sculled 
 rapidly alongside, swung himself on board like a cat, 
 notwithstanding his fifty odd years and a certain cor- 
 pulency which had settled on his tall broad-built body, 
 and took command. How like a trumpet his voice rang 
 out ; how every man recognised his power and obeyed 
 orders, which, with maritime curses strange and loud, 
 startled them into action, and astonished the hearers 
 on land ; how, like magic, everything was saved and 
 put shipshape ! Also, how, on landing again, he was 
 met by the captain who began to hector, whereupon 
 Elder Beith, with a deep-sea imprecation, threw him 
 neck and crop into five feet of water, and then went 
 
 9
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 quietly and almost shamefacedly home, where he remained 
 for over a week, doubtless lamenting his backsliding and 
 considerably refreshed thereby. 
 
 Nor was this the only evidence that he was an intrepid 
 sailor and dearly loved the sea. His house was near 
 the shore, just below Mr M'PhaiPs which was well back 
 on the hillside, and he had a little six-ton yacht which, 
 as often as not, he sailed single-handed, and in which 
 he cruised about and lived for days at a time. When 
 not alone, he only took old Dempsey who, with his wife, 
 were his servants, living in a but-and-ben cottage at the 
 end of what he called his garden, in which grew only 
 kail and chickweed. His only other occupations were 
 reading the Bible and religious books alone and the 
 work connected with his church for he was one of Dr 
 M'Donner's most active Elders, although he had only 
 lived two years in the neighbourhood. It was the reading 
 of an eloquent sermon of Dr M'Donner's which had 
 brought Mr Beith to "sit under" that preacher, and to 
 settle in the locality. He had, at his own expense, re- 
 printed that sermon and sent it, by post, far and wide ; 
 even offering a copy to Father O'Kay who, whilst 
 smilingly declining it, mourned in mind at the mistaken 
 zeal of those heretics, as he beamingly regarded the 
 bright new frock of a gilt and renovated Madonna 
 at which Mr Beith frowningly bemoaned the darkened 
 soul that noticed such abominations, and quoted a number 
 of apposite texts on the subject mostly minatory. 
 
 Father O'Kay dismounted to visit some cottages before 
 getting to Ballynoggin. Perhaps, with the fine tact of 
 an Irishman, he wished to spare the Elder the possible 
 mortification or incongruity of being seen in company 
 with a priest. Mr Beith pursued the remainder of the 
 road alone. 
 
 10
 
 The Elder 
 
 Father O'Kay stood and looked after him, he did not 
 well know why, as he walked away at an increased pace. 
 It was partly curiosity, partly admiration, and partly a 
 vague wistfulness which he did not hasten to account for. 
 He watched the sturdy stride, the powerful set-up 
 shoulders, the straight figure, the gallant poise of head, 
 the swinging of the great long arms, through the ladder- 
 like bars of light and shade thrown by the trees over- 
 head which leant across the road, until his size went 
 down with the distance, and a descent completely hid 
 him from view. 
 
 " Yes," said the Priest to himself, as he aroused the 
 cob from his reverie, " there's power power in every 
 fibre of him body and mind and soul. Pity that some 
 reason of his own maybe, a heartache that only One 
 other knows of has led him to hang up his life in this 
 quiet spot at his age and with his great capacity and 
 strength ! " 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 MR KENNADA advertised in over a dozen leading papers 
 in the three Kingdoms and was astonished at the number of 
 persons who desired to learn something to their advantage. 
 He received "sheaves and stacks" of letters, as he ex- 
 pressed it most of the writers claiming kinship on the 
 strength of mere similarity of name ; telegrams asking, 
 instead of giving, particulars ; instructions to remit forth- 
 with ; offers to share with him ; circulars from agencies 
 which profess exclusive knowledge of unclaimed millions ; 
 and not a few visitors from far and near. 
 
 Amongst the latter were a young surgeon named Milner, 
 and his wife. Unlike all the rest, they seemed chiefly 
 anxious for information as to Mr Pitt and his family, and 
 
 II
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 it was evident that they clung to a half hope that some, 
 at least, might still be alive in spite of the negro's story 
 which they knew all about, though no hint of it had 
 escaped the lawyer or the Priest. Whereat they had 
 looked at each other significantly. They had tried to 
 persuade themselves of many possibilities, they explained : 
 perhaps, Mr Pitt and his family had been imprisoned or 
 interned during the political convulsions of the country, 
 and had only now returned though it was strange that 
 it should be a solicitor in a distant Western Irish town 
 who was employed to trace the relatives. 
 
 Dr Milner had never implicitly believed the negro's 
 story ; he sometimes thought that, if true in part, Mr 
 Pitt's ship had been captured by a government or rebel 
 craft, and that the ghastly tale was the exaggeration of 
 a terrified and unhinged mind. That such means, how- 
 ever, as advertisements should be necessary was not 
 surprising, seeing that Mrs Milner had left her school 
 a good many years ago, when, on rumours of the dis- 
 appearance, the bank ceased to pay, and her own and the 
 principal's letters evoked no reply from South America ; 
 and that she had then been adopted into the household 
 of Dr Milner's mother, whence they had married. 
 
 They admitted that she had thus probably conduced 
 to being lost sight of; and they wondered if previous 
 efforts to find her had passed unnoticed. 
 
 There was no mistaking the genuineness of their dis- 
 appointment and grief when those slender threads of hope 
 were at last cut away. Dr Milner briefly narrated that 
 about the middle of August 18 he was surgeon on 
 board the S.S. Margloss having just obtained his degree 
 in surgery. They had had very bad weather after leaving 
 Puerto Rico, the boat was cranky and the crew sulky, 
 for they had on board a Catholic bishop and a number 
 
 12
 
 The Elder 
 
 of priests and monks who were on their way from 
 Europe to some places in Colombia and Bolivia. Every- 
 body knows how superstitious sailors are on the subject 
 of clergymen on board ship. The steamer, with a partial 
 breakdown in the machinery, brought up in a little 
 sheltered bay formed by an islet at the entrance of the 
 Gulf of Mexico one of the numerous spots forming 
 the Florida Reefs. Here the infirm old prelate died, and 
 the crew worn-out and discontented made it very clear 
 that they did not want the corpse to be carried in the 
 ship even though it was proposed to enclose it in a 
 puncheon of rum. The priests and others had even a 
 stronger objection to see it buried in the sea, and in 
 very sight of land. It was, therefore, resolved to take 
 it ashore, in a coffin made by the carpenter, and to inter 
 it temporarily, with a cross over the grave, whence, later, 
 the body might be removed for definite burial in the 
 Cathedral that had been the dead bishop's. 
 
 Dr Milner was amongst those who landed, and it was 
 then that they encountered the negro Daniel and took him 
 on board, where he recounted his ghastly story partly 
 disclosed in Mr O'Gra's letter, ten years later, to Father 
 O'Kay: 
 
 Under some pretence or other, the brig had been 
 brought to, and anchored off this island. The captain 
 wanted to do something to the sails and rigging before 
 going out into the Carribbean Sea and the Atlantic. He 
 Daniel was going between the galley and the cabin 
 where Mr and Mrs Pitt, Master Pitt, and the children 
 were at dinner his wife waiting at table ; when, without 
 warning, the galley door was slammed on him, and he heard 
 shots and shouts and fearful screams. He struggled to 
 get out, and was suddenly released only to find a pistol 
 held to his head. It was the half-blood Sancho, with
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 whom he had been in the habit of singing and playing the 
 banjo. Sancho fired designedly over Daniel's head and 
 whispered to him to jump overboard as all the family and 
 his wife were dead. Daniel, terrified, was almost thrown 
 into the water, unhurt, and a loose water cask was quickly 
 pitched after him. Sancho fired another shot or two, 
 wide, into the sea ; and Daniel, an expert swimmer, who 
 had promptly seized the cask, heard him say with a loud 
 laugh, in answer to a hail from aft, that the nigger had 
 gone overboard with one ball in his neck, and had gone 
 under with two more in his head. 
 
 Daniel stated that he dodged under the long counter 
 and, with the help of the rudder chains and a rope that 
 hung foul, managed to raise himself so as to look into the 
 cabin through one of the small stern windows. 
 
 It was a fearful sight. The murdered bodies lay 
 untouched, the little children dead in their seats ; Mrs 
 Pitt, in the curtained doorway leading to her cabin, shot 
 dead and yet erect, her desperate clutch at the curtain 
 holding her up ; Mr Pitt, killed before he could rise, with 
 his head and arms hanging over one side of his chair j the 
 boy on his face on the floor j Daniel's wife half ac&ross 
 the table, with her arms still outstretched as if to shield 
 the two little ones. 
 
 The captain had Mr Pitt's pocket-book, which he was 
 examining ; some of the men were opening lockers, others 
 were drinking and laughing. Daniel dropped back into 
 the sea, and, in defiance of sharks, and sheltering as well 
 as helping himself with the barrel, he swam and floated 
 and drifted to the island, where he landed and hid, but so 
 that he could see the brig, from which the sound of 
 snatches of song and, later, of some shots reached him. 
 
 An hour or so after his landing he was astonished to 
 see a boat put off and pull inshore. He made sure that
 
 The Elder 
 
 he had been observed and was now being hunted down 
 and marked for death. He gave himself up for lost. 
 Nevertheless, he took some precautions for safety, and 
 crept down a cleft in which ran a creek, the side being 
 covered with shrub and some big trees, one of which he 
 climbed and concealed himself amongst the branches. 
 
 With his heart in his mouth he heard the voices of the 
 captain and Sancho, who forced the boat so far as they 
 could up the creek, then made it fast to a mangrove, and 
 got out not far from where he was. His surprise and 
 curiosity almost overcame his fears when he saw them rig 
 a tackle to a stout branch ; and he pictured himself left 
 swinging there for ever, for he had no doubt that they 
 meant to hang him. 
 
 He was, however, relieved to find that they made fast 
 to an object in the boat, which they hauled up. It was 
 Mr Pitt's safe which had stood in the cabin. The captain 
 his name was Neaves was a very powerful man, and 
 when the safe was high enough he swung it well out and 
 landed it. Then Sancho got a spade, and when the 
 captain had fixed on a spot, he dug a deep hole. While 
 he was doing that, the captain was marking some trees 
 with a hatchet, and measuring a big overhanging branch 
 with the tackle, by throwing a rope over it, and seemingly 
 calculating the length. 
 
 When Sancho got out of the hole, which was then up 
 to his shoulders, the captain trundled or hove the safe 
 along, and pitched it into the hole, into which he also 
 threw the tackle and block. 
 
 " How's that, Sancho ? " he asked. 
 
 The half-blood stepped to the edge, when down came 
 the hatchet on his head, cleaving it almost in two. 
 
 The captain laughed and talked to himself, telling 
 himself that Sancho was no good, a fool and a soft heart. 
 
 15
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 He made himself a cigarette and smoked it, after which 
 he pulled Sancho out of the hole and threw his body 
 into the creek where it caught among some mangrove 
 roots. The captain never looked, but filled up the hole 
 and stuck some branches or twigs on the top, along with 
 a lot of grass and shrub which he threw on it, and 
 went round the trees and some rocks that he had marked, 
 and seemed to check and make the marks and distances 
 good. He then apparently wrote them down after care- 
 fully measuring, and looking at the sun and taking other 
 bearings. Then he got into the boat and rowed back to 
 the brig, which had sailed away before Dan woke up next 
 morning. Poor Sancho's body had also disappeared, and 
 some big alligators were still lying about the spot as if 
 waiting for more. 
 
 Daniel said that he managed to live on shellfish, some 
 fruit and roots and birds, sleeping at night in a tree as 
 far away as possible from that in which he hid on that 
 fearsome day. 
 
 He lost count of time. He fancied that he had been 
 there for months or years, though, as a matter of fact, it 
 could not have been more than three or four weeks. 
 
 He was a sad wreck when taken off, in mind, body and 
 nerve. Dr Milner had attentively cared for him, and in 
 a few days effected a great improvement. It was he who 
 heard the first coherent history, and advised him to say 
 nothing about the burial of the safe until the British 
 Consul should have been seen. 
 
 In due course Daniel made his protest, but he was 
 arrested and died in prison, having become a lunatic so 
 it was said. Some believed the story, many did not or 
 pretended to disbelieve. But the Consul's expedition, 
 which went with the clerical party for the bishop's 
 coffin, returned unsuccessful, having been anticipated by 
 
 16
 
 The Elder 
 
 some adventurers. There had been a good deal of digging, 
 but so far as one heard,' without result. Daniel was cursed 
 up hill and down dale ; but there crept out a rumour that 
 the enterprising syndicate, which had tried to steal a 
 march on the Consul, had been also forestalled by some- 
 body else. Probably, the original hider had been the 
 finder. That is, assuming that Daniel was right. 
 
 Dr Milner wrote to his mother and sisters to see Miss 
 Pitt who, he had learnt from the negro, was at a boarding- 
 school in Hastings, and break the news to her, and to try 
 and discover any relations or friends of hers. It ended 
 by their taking the solitary girl to their own home and, 
 in the absence of any news, or knowledge of any relations 
 in England, keeping her as one of the family. Some five 
 years before this date the date of the doctor's narration 
 to Mr Kennada and Father O'Kay they had married, 
 having been sweethearts, so to say, from the very first 
 day they met, the age difference of eight or nine years 
 being as nothing, and scarcely apparent even now. 
 
 Mr Kennada affected to be dubious, although Mrs 
 Milner produced letters written to her by her parents 
 whilst at school, and also those of her young brother and 
 her deceased sister ; and showed her marriage certificate, 
 which gave her parents' names. There was, too, the 
 evidence of the school-principal and her books and 
 accounts, and the name of the bank that used to pay, 
 until rumours came of Mr Pitt's death. Then the bank, 
 as usual in such cases, had refused to make further pay- 
 ments, or to answer questions, or to say whether they 
 held any money, or to give any information whatsoever. 
 For banks can stand on their dignity, and confiscate and 
 pilfer, and it is all right, for the very word "bank" hath 
 a sacred sound in British ears. Dr Milner and his wife 
 had refused to take out Letters of Administration because 
 B I?
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 the bank held them at arm's length and would tell them 
 nothing, and also because they would not believe in the 
 death until forced to do so preferring to struggle on 
 quietly rather than give up all hope. Besides, they 
 could furnish only presumptive and not direct evidence 
 of death. 
 
 Mr Kennada started many doubts, found many incon- 
 sistencies, and shook his head a good deal, after his kind. 
 
 Father O'Kay was pained, and getting annoyed at this 
 hollow and cruel professional performance, so to change 
 the conversation rather than with the view of entering on 
 any further line of investigation he asked Mrs Milner 
 whether she remembered much of South America, and of 
 her life there. 
 
 She replied with much intelligence and animation, and, 
 on an incidental allusion to Mr O'Gra, and the fact that 
 his son was then in Ireland, she cried : 
 
 "What, Larry! Why, we used to play together, and 
 he was always breaking-in ponies for me and doing all 
 sorts of clever things : and he used to sing so beautifully 
 and play almost any instrument. Cesar, Cesar, oh, what 
 was his name ? Ah ! I know, Cesar Fava something 
 ah ! Favanelli he was an Italian, and Mr O'Gra's own 
 servant taught him. Oh, I should like to see Larry 
 again ! I wonder whether he remembers me ! " 
 
 " Oh, dhivil fly away with the luck ! " exclaimed Father 
 O'Kay, his face glowing with delight, as he gave a hand 
 to each, " and I thank God, my children, that it's the best 
 of luck I have in seeing right done to you. There, 
 there: there's the money barring the loo which Mr 
 O'Gra gives to my poor. Kennada, you heathen, if you 
 dare to say another word I'll excommunicate you, and 
 order jigs to be danced on your unhallowed grave. Just 
 tell me where I am to sign, and hand it over to them : and 
 
 18
 
 The Elder 
 
 and, it's the dry mouth I have got and, God knows, the 
 full heart, too ; for it's seldom one sees justice on earth, 
 or a gift from the dead come to such dear and worthy 
 living. And if it's not a dhrink ye'll be giving me, I'll 
 just go upstairs and help myself, and you may cry ' stop 
 thief till ye're black in the throat, bedad ! " 
 
 " It's seldom one sees justice on earth." Is it so or is 
 it merely a question of time, or of kind ? And what is it, 
 in reality retribution, reparation, compensation ? Is it 
 inexorable though tardy, or do its footsteps drag and stop 
 because the way is long ; or does time sanction the wrong 
 because it heals or kills the wrong-sufferer j or does the 
 wrong-doer wear it out by a sophism, or blunt it by a collect, 
 or propitiate it by a self-pitying sigh, or beguile it by a 
 post-mortem largesse ? Can remorse arrest its chariot by 
 prostration before the wheels, or repentance turn it by a 
 desperate clutch at the reins ? Or, can penitence lull it by 
 walking with muffled step in the echoing corridors of 
 conscience, or dismiss it by beating, with wild hands and 
 clamorous self-accusation, on the walls ? Can service and 
 sacrifice acquire a title to prescription at its slackened 
 hand ? Is it but self-reflective, or is it the actual stroke of 
 Outer Fate ? 
 
 Elder Beith happened to be in the outside office when 
 he heard those words and recognised the speaker's voice. 
 His business was of no urgency and he went away without 
 disturbing Mr Kennada. 
 
 "The poor benighted creature," said the Elder to 
 himself, " walking in blindness and in the darkness of 
 night ! Does not the Lord live and reign ? And, if He 
 reigns, He is a Judge to do justice. But is He not also 
 a Sovereign to grant forgiveness ? Mercy tempers justice, 
 tempers it tempers it. But but that does not do away 
 with it. If if it did, why, what would become of justice ? 
 
 19
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 And is there contradiction in God ? Is He not the same 
 to-day, yesterday and forever, and without variableness 
 or shadow of turning ? His mercy endureth for ever, but 
 does not His justice also endure ?" 
 
 And he went on his way more slowly, and less con- 
 fidently, resolving the question over in his mind, and 
 carrying it, darkly brooding, home with him. 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 DR MILNER and his wife took a pleasant cottage, close to 
 Mr Beith's, and sent for their two children and their 
 nurse, who, with his sister, duly came across. He had 
 been able to extend the temporary arrangements for 
 his practice. 
 
 They were charmed with the neighbourhood, and the 
 bracing breath of the Atlantic was delightful to them. 
 
 It was spread about that the doctor and his pretty wife 
 had come into some money, thanks to the cleverness and 
 almost inexcusable honesty of Mr Kennada, and the kindly 
 interest of Father O'Kay. No details leaked out, for the 
 latter especially desired that the alternative once presented 
 to him should not be known. He also thought it improper 
 and unfeeling to let the shadow of a fearful tragedy rest, 
 though only in the vulgar mouth and mind of a chattering 
 public, on the lives and fortunes of the gentle couple and 
 their children. 
 
 But, even if all that has been narrated had been matter of 
 common talk, Mr Beith, from his cold and solitary habits, 
 was unlikely to hear of it. 
 
 How it quite began it is not easy to say, but Dr Milner 
 and Mr Beith were soon on accidental walking terms, 
 and on comparative speaking terms, and on occasional 
 
 20
 
 The Elder 
 
 yachting terms, and, on one most exceptional day, even 
 on visiting terms. It happened in this way: 
 
 Mrs Milner and her sister and the children had gone 
 to Ballynoggin to do some shopping : Father O'Kay was 
 seen coming along, and a sudden gust of wind and rain 
 drove the three of them the Priest, the Elder, and the 
 Doctor into the latter's cottage. They sat at a broad 
 window looking out baywards, and talked about the sea, 
 and storms and such things with some glasses and 
 tobacco on a table beside them. Little by little the 
 conversation broadened, and striking incidents afloat were 
 narrated. Mr Beith's recollections of some solemn burials 
 at sea, recalled to Dr Milner's that of the bishop's 
 temporary funeral at the Florida Reefs which, on Father 
 O'Kay's intervention, led to the repetition of poor Daniel's 
 story. 
 
 Father O'Kay almost wished that Mr Beith had remained 
 a Scotchman in his estimation instead of a North of Ireland 
 man as he had turned out to be for, in the most horrific 
 part of the narrative, he, in a manner as stolid and unemo- 
 tional as if the talk were of soundings or deck cargoes, 
 called the doctor's attention to the circumstance that some 
 tobacco ash had fallen on his vest. 
 
 In this way it came about that Mr Beith learnt how 
 the doctor and his family had come to live at Baleila, 
 though only temporarily, and the strange tale of his wife 
 being the sole surviving child of the murdered people ; 
 and of the man who had first ascertained her parents' fate 
 becoming her husband ; and how the mystery of so many 
 years had, by such unexpected steps and turns, been helped 
 perhaps, in a way, elucidated in so out-of-the-way a 
 place as this. 
 
 Yes, assented Mr Beith in his slow frigid way, it was 
 strange very strange. Then they sat silent for awhile, 
 
 21
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 as men like to do, and the sun shone out again. There 
 was a sound of wheels and the silvery laughter of women, 
 and Dr Milner and Father O'Kay went out to meet the 
 ladies who had evidently returned. Mr Beith had not even 
 yet seen Mrs Milner unless, possibly, at a distance. Being 
 thus a stranger to them, he remained behind ; it would, 
 too, have been impossible for him to escape, without 
 running against them, for they were just coming in. 
 
 Miss Milner came into the little front garden with the 
 Priest j then the Doctor, with one of the children on his 
 shoulder and the other holding his hand; then his wife 
 stood for a moment framed in the leafy oblong of the 
 garden porch, curtained in the pendant verdure. 
 
 The Elder regarded her through the window with a 
 look in which terror and incommunicable misery were 
 blended. He dashed his hand to his mouth as if to 
 prevent himself crying out. Then, quickly controlling 
 himself, he opened the folding windows and stepped 
 through them, and out towards his own house, almost 
 at the instant that the ladies entered the room which he 
 had just quitted. 
 
 Father O'Kay told them of their singular neighbour's 
 well-known moroseness, though he had not, until now, 
 suspected him of being a woman-hater. That discovery 
 accounted for everything. All was now perfectly lucid 
 and understood, he said. They laughed with him, and 
 went in to tea. 
 
 The Elder heard those musical laughs again, as he 
 walked towards his house, which he entered as if he had 
 of a sudden become thirty years older. 
 
 The western wind freshened, black thunderous clouds 
 again covered the sky, and the evening grew dark when 
 the Doctor accompanied Father O'Kay homewards. 
 
 Some hours later, when not a window showed a light 
 
 22
 
 The Elder 
 
 and the only sounds were the splash and the roar and the 
 sob of the tide, and the scream of the rising gale, Elder 
 Beith walked heavily to the village and tapped at Father 
 O'Kay's window. 
 
 " Don't wake Peter, but let me in in God's name, for 
 I must speak to you this night," said he in answer to the 
 Priest's surprised question. 
 
 " But," said Father O'Kay, when, some minutes after, 
 they were seated in his humble study, " but can I listen 
 to you ? Should you not go to Dr M'Donner ? You are 
 not a Catholic. I cannot hear you under the seal of con- 
 fession : I cannot give you absolution. Why ah, why, 
 come to me to me you a Presbyterian Elder, and I a 
 Papist priest, as you term it ? " 
 
 "No," answered Mr Beith in a hollow voice, "you 
 cannot give me absolution, I know. I don't seek it from 
 you. I thought, I believed that I had it from above. 
 But, aback of the still, small voice which kept telling me 
 that I was forgiven, was a fainter whisper, at times, that 
 it was the voice of hope in my heart that spoke when I 
 was fain to think it was the voice of God. And that 
 fainter, occasional reminder, which I fought off as doubt 
 and want of faith, is the backwater which is stronger than 
 the stream. It is real, and the other was self-deceptive. 
 Hear me, for I must speak : and I want to speak to you 
 alone. I ask for no promise do what you like with my 
 confession : but, if you do not hear me to-night, I shall 
 be mad or dead before morning." 
 
 Hours afterwards, when the early morning broke bright 
 and young, with the odour of tree and plant in the air, 
 the fresh savour in the salty sea-breeze, the unreserved 
 domestic clamour of birds, the rustle of leaves, the clarion
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 of cock-crow, the caw of marshalling rooks, the scream of 
 gulls, and all the cheery sounds of a new day, as if it 
 were the first of Creation, Father O'Kay stood at his 
 little gate, and watched the receding figure of Elder 
 Beith 
 
 Watched it, as with feeble step, and bowed back, and 
 limp arms, and dejected head, it slowly went its way, as 
 if flaccid and feeble with the weight of newly-struck age 
 and despair, until it effaced itself amidst the flickering 
 shadows of the seemingly conscious and conferring 
 trees, and was lost to sight around a turn of the silent 
 road. 
 
 The Priest raised his haggard face and took a deep 
 breath. How sweet it was after those morbid hours of 
 night and dawn through which he had just passed ! 
 
 He gazed at the upspringing sun as it mounted into a 
 deep-piled mass of black cloud which lay low on the 
 horizon until their edges caught a rim of gold, and 
 lances of light shot through them till, rising higher, they 
 glowed in golden glory. Some minutes later they sailed 
 away on some upper slant of wind in billowy wreaths of 
 white as if bearing souls with pardoned sins or after 
 hallowed woes, from the lower glooms and lurid crimsons 
 to the pure and tender blues above. 
 
 He extended wide his arms, and the signs of horror, 
 pain and astonishment faded from his face. 
 
 " Ah, dear Lord ! " he cried, " whose throne is en- 
 compassed with thick darkness and whose ways are past 
 finding out, praised be Thy awful Name that Thou 
 deignest to touch the hardest heart and to make Thy 
 hand visible to men ! And, oh ! what ascriptions can we 
 make for the honour to Thy poor servants that they should 
 suffer with those who suffer even though they be only 
 as the crucibles to refine the gold of others and be them- 
 
 24
 
 The Elder 
 
 selves burnt in the process and broken thereafter ! And 
 who am I to be Thy instrument in this terrible matter ? " 
 
 On his knees, beside a spring where he had stopped to 
 bathe his hot face and aching head, the Elder was praying. 
 
 " Dread Lord ! I bow before Thee, not for what Thou 
 canst do or forbear, give or withhold, decree or refuse, 
 but for what Thou art. Oh ! if suffering would atone, or 
 shame behold me, behold me, ready for all. It is not 
 fear that restrains me from giving myself up to human 
 justice, but the dread of the self-righteous thought that 
 suffering might appease Thee that Thy justice might be 
 satisfied if my blood-stained soul enter Thy presence after 
 voluntary pains on earth. Give me, I beseech Thee, true 
 repentance free from fear of punishment, free from hope 
 or desire of happiness hereafter. I will make reparation to 
 the living but that is nought. Yet despise not my 
 prayer, oh merciful Lord ! Do with me what Thou will'st 
 here and hereafter ; I submit to Thy justice : but forgive 
 me, forgive me, forgive me." 
 
 That day Mr Beith left Ballynoggin : and, in the 
 evening, Mr Kennada drove out to Baleila, and, in Father 
 O'Kay's presence, handed over to Dr Milner the title- 
 deeds of Mr Beith's house and contents and the yacht : 
 also transfers and certificates of stock to a considerable 
 amount, together with a cheque on the Ballynoggin bank 
 for some hundreds of pounds the whole (apart from the 
 house) amounting to something over six thousand pounds. 
 The deed and transfers were in the name of Dr Milner, 
 Father O'Kay and Mr Kennada as trustees for Mrs Milner 
 and her children, with life interest to the husband. 
 
 Mr Kennada considered it an act of madness, and did 
 not conceal his fear that this singular disposition of 
 
 25
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 property might be impugned or invalidated on that ground, 
 and for lack of consideration, as the lawyers phrase it. 
 Father O'Kay was not so astonished as the Doctor and his 
 wife were, as though he had some knowledge which he 
 did not care to divulge of the donor's motive. There was 
 much speculation as to whether the Elder were any 
 relation to either husband or wife, and the utmost that 
 the old Priest allowed himself to say, with a sigh and a 
 smile, was : 
 
 " N no, not exactly : only a sort of connection by 
 blood." 
 
 And there the matter rested. 
 
 Dr Milner sold his practice and, for the time being, at 
 all events, took up his residence near Baleila, in what 
 had been Mr Beith's house and had now, so strangely, 
 become his family property. 
 
 It was towards the Christmas time following that a 
 heavy chest was delivered to Father O'Kay. It contained 
 a quaint-looking old safe, firmly closed. Larry who 
 was spending his vacation at Baleila poaching with Mike, 
 yachting with the Doctor, singing with Mrs Milner whom 
 he had at once and delightedly recognised hunting, 
 driving, writing poetry to Kitty O'Halloran, delighting 
 the congregations at Baleila and Kilmacartie, getting into 
 all sorts of rows and scrapes, and being, generally, one of 
 the most reprobated and dearly-liked fellows in the 
 country-side promptly claimed the safe as his father's 
 property. As might have been reasonably expected, 
 nobody had a key the accompanying note to the priest 
 explaining its loss except Larry, who, in his harum- 
 scarum way, amidst half a bushel of useless things 
 stoneless rings, broken chains and other rubbish had a 
 duplicate of the key, which his father one day gave him 
 because he took a fancy to its curious Aztec head and 
 
 26
 
 The Elder 
 
 opal eyes. He had kept it with the one-time intention of 
 making a scarf-pin of it. 
 
 It was apparent that violent attempts had been made to 
 open the safe. It had been hammered, and had resisted 
 the efforts to prize out the door, or to blow up the lock, 
 for the aperture was not only very small but was almost 
 closed until rendered obedient to the letter arrangement 
 which controlled it, and thus any explosive which could 
 be inserted was utterly insufficient in quantity to have any 
 effect. 
 
 Larry perfectly understood the mechanism : it had long 
 been a plaything of his : the difficulty now was to find 
 the " word." 
 
 There were many vain guesses words sacred, local, 
 complicated, polyglot. At last Larry had an idea. 
 
 " Oh, I think I know," cried he. " Sure, weren't they 
 for coming home, and to see the colleen who was here at 
 school, and weren't the hearts of them warm with the 
 hope of her meeting them when they set foot in the old 
 country ? Try Bettina, as they used to call her ; and if 
 that word don't do the trick I'll ate the safe itself, bedad!" 
 
 They did try it spelling the name, by proper settings, 
 letter by letter and click ! the key turned, and the safe 
 opened. 
 
 Untouched, and scarcely dimmed by moisture or other 
 cause, there lay her mother's and her sister's jewels, which 
 she knew so well, and now lovingly kissed and wept 
 over for their dear memories' sake : and there lay bills 
 and bonds and deeds representing over forty thousaud 
 pounds of English money ; and there, tied up carefully, 
 were her own letters from school and her portrait, and 
 a tiny satin shoe of hers and some odds and ends which 
 had belonged to her, which the fond mother had cherished 
 whilst her child was far away across the ocean. 
 
 27
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Ah, what was the mere wealth the bills and the 
 bonds, the deeds and the gems to those loving messages 
 from beyond the tomb; to the touch of the vanished hands, 
 the sound of the voices now still ! 
 
 Across death, across seas, by crime-blotted fingers, by 
 remorseful consciences, by holy solaces, by many seeming 
 chances, by the travel of inaudible footsteps in unseen 
 paths, by the mysterious guidance of sleepless Providence 
 all had moved to a single plan and centred to an ordained 
 event. 
 
 One evening in the July following, Dempsey came 
 to Father O'Kay with an awestruck face and a whispered 
 message. The Priest took his hat and stick without a 
 word, and went with him. 
 
 He found in the cottage at the end of the garden 
 which Dempsey continued to occupy, as he remained in 
 the Doctor's service a feeble, white-bearded, rough-clad 
 sailor man, who raised his eyes to his, and by them alone 
 he recognised the Elder, Mr Beith. 
 
 Dempsey and his wife left the room. 
 
 "Thank you for coming, Father O'Kay," said he in 
 a low, calm voice. " I am approaching the end of my 
 journey, and I hope oh, I humbly, humbly hope, that 
 I have found peace peace." 
 
 " God be thanked for His abundant mercy ! " said the 
 Priest devoutly, unmindful for the moment of the ecclesi- 
 astical irregularity of his sentiments. 
 
 " You received the safe, I know. Good. Yesterday 
 to-day's Monday, isn't it ? I saw them in church at 
 Ballynoggin. She looked sweet and pure as a saint, like 
 like her mother glorified : and the little one like an 
 angel from before the Presence. And I heard them sing, 
 and watched them pray, and saw them smile when the 
 service was over. I managed think of it ! to talk to 
 
 28
 
 The Elder 
 
 the child her child's child ; the third generation ! I 
 gave her some presents, and some gold to her nurse to 
 let me speak to her. I knelt as I asked her to put her 
 little hands on my head, and on my eyes, and on my 
 heart : and the innocent little creature kissed me, and 
 again kissed her hand to me, as she was taken to the 
 pony carriage which had, by this time, come up, whilst 
 I slipped around a tombstone and was undiscovered. 
 Think of it, Father O'Kay think of it." 
 
 There was almost rapture in his tones. 
 
 A little later, he begged that he might be buried as 
 David Neaves, his true name, in that same churchyard, 
 and that not one word should be ever said about him, 
 lest " they " be rendered unhappy by the association. 
 
 He handed a roll of notes to Father O'Kay with 
 directions to give a sum to Dempsey and to apply the 
 remainder to charitable purposes, after defraying his 
 funeral expenses. 
 
 It was evident that he was dying. He rejected all 
 suggestions of assistance : there was nothing bodily the 
 matter with him, he said ; and this, in a certain sense, 
 was true. 
 
 They sat in silence for a while : his face worked as the 
 sound of singing came from the house. 
 
 " Hold my hand, Father O'Kay," he said in a low voice. 
 " Let me hold your hand as I go down into the valley." 
 
 After a little time he seemed to shiver, but the feeling 
 passed, and then, almost like a child he repeated and 
 repeated some words of a psalm, whilst the Priest's face 
 was wet with tears. 
 
 A pause. 
 
 Then the Elder rose suddenly, with a vigorous spring, 
 shaded his eyes with his hand, and sung out like a 
 trumpet : 
 
 29
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Port ! Shake out all reefs out with them ! Up 
 topsails ! Cheerily ! " 
 
 Dempsey rushed in. They caught the Elder as he 
 staggered, and laid him down. 
 
 They saw the quick movement and remains of a smile 
 and covered his face. 
 
 From the house rang out a gay Spanish duet in Mrs 
 Milner's soaring soprano and Larry's rich tenor, to the 
 accompaniment of their two mandolines. 
 
 In the cottage, in the deepening eve, knelt Father 
 O'Kay and Dempsey. 
 
 The Priest's head was bowed as, with arms crossed 
 on his breast, he, in a broken voice, murmured : 
 
 " Confitebor tibi, Domine . . . in consilio justorum" He 
 glanced at Dempsey, and, for a fraction of a second, his 
 eye lighted. 
 
 " M.agna opera Domini I . . . 
 
 " Sanctum et terribile nomen ejusl " 
 
 Then, after several moments' hesitation, he recited 
 the prayers for the dead, and Dempsey, full of wonder, 
 responded with the Gloria his voice trembling and 
 choking as he uttered the concluding words, " Nunc 
 et semper et in s&cula saculorum. Amen ! " 
 
 From the house there floated to their ears a sweet, 
 plaintive air. It was the evening hymn of the simple peons 
 on the Magdalena River.
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 THERE was a good deal of excitement in Kilmacartie 
 which, as everybody knows, is a small township some 
 five or six miles from Ballynoggin and the big square 
 kitchen at the back of O'Halloran's grocery was full 
 of men who were drinking hard, arguing, grumbling 
 and emitting picturesque oaths of great variety and far- 
 reaching intent. 
 
 The December moon was in her first quarter ; a salty 
 nor'wester was roaring and screaming outside ; and the 
 men had a grievance, a feeling that duty called them to do 
 something or other, and a wild resoluteness to do it at all 
 hazards if they only knew what it was. 
 
 These constituents of enjoyment were enhanced by a 
 quarrel here and there, by some unveracious reminiscences 
 of an elder or two, or some ingeniously-heroic but im- 
 practicable suggestions of some of the younger ; and they 
 all drank whisky and porter and smoked assiduously, and 
 were highly comfortable around the dull-glowing peat-fire 
 in that well-lighted, wooden-floored room. 
 
 It were uncandid to deny it : they were conspiring. 
 They needed no masked council or wary sentinels or 
 blood-curdling vows, for they were brothers in a great 
 cause ; and, though it was essentially a local matter, yet it 
 lay, as a sacred principle, at the bottom of all those deep, 
 vague, and interesting sentiments which make an Irishman 
 
 3 1
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 the most impassioned and grateful dupe in the two hemi- 
 spheres. 
 
 They were for the Masther the Rale O'Flaherty to 
 a man, and ready to commit any number of moral or 
 statutory offences for his glory ; and they cursed his rival, 
 Squire Brady, with whole-hearted sincerity. 
 
 It was no particular affair of theirs', that rivalry: but 
 they took their side upon it with more ardour and un- 
 reasoning devotion than if their own merely common-place 
 rights and interests were concerned. They were, in truth, 
 as preposterously chivalrous about the business as were 
 the Gallants of England when they " were up, were up 
 for the King." 
 
 " Lave off taxing Kitty O'Halloran, Mike of Baleila," 
 growled a gigantic citizen of seventy, without a white hair 
 on his shaggy head. " Sure, we've business to do with- 
 out being disthracted by your divarsions." 
 
 "And, faith!" said another. "I'm thinking that it's 
 himself is more fit to hit on a schame than any man here, 
 more by token, that there's mischief and dhivilment in it." 
 
 " Come on now, Mike," came from a third. " Ye've the 
 name and character of an omadhoun in these parts, and 
 well ye desarve it, bedad ! " 
 
 " He does be doing that same, begorra ! " chorus from 
 the rest. 
 
 " Arrah, now," said Mike. "Sure, it's no consarnes 
 of mine. It's to Baleila I do be belonging, and The 
 O'Flaherty and Squire Brady are nothing to me, in a 
 manner of spaking." 
 
 " Thrue for yez," said one, persuasively, " but if there's 
 to be a shindy, sure it's neighbourly you'd be, and take a 
 hand in it, for love." 
 
 "Wouldn't I! " exclaimed Mike, spitting into his right 
 palm. " D'ye think I'd let the blessed chance go past me, 
 
 3 2
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 slaping or waking ? And dhivil cares which side it's on, 
 so long as it's loively and sociable enough." 
 
 "That's you, Mike ma bauchla," said the old fellow, 
 admiringly. 
 
 "Well thin, I'll give you my poor notion of the thran- 
 saction," continued Mike. " O'Halloran, me jewel, just 
 have some dhrink sent in, and the kettle filled, and and 
 another limmin ; and take yourself away to your candle- 
 dipping at the back there ; for it's yourself shouldn't know 
 of our conthrivances and strajiments for the sake of your 
 grocery and post-office. Away wid yez, now ! " 
 
 "Sure, it's the wise head the omadhoun's got at 
 times," said O'Halloran, going out. 
 
 When the replenished materials had been brought in, 
 and the various elements properly dealt with, Mike a 
 well-built, clean-faced young fellow, with a laughing eye 
 took up his parable and, in a chatty rather than speechy 
 manner, gave his views : 
 
 "Dhivil's the bit of sinse ye've got amongst yez, at all, 
 at all. Here's Thady afther advising to stale the mates 
 and jellies and things that Brady has been afther having 
 down from Doblin for his dinner party to-morrow night ; 
 or to drop some sods and stones down his kitchen chimney. 
 But, sure, that would be only mane and petty, and dis- 
 tress the ladies that's Misthress Brady what's ill, and the 
 beautiful coleen, what's the pride of Kilmacartie aye, and 
 Ballynoggin, too, for that matter for all she's the Squire's 
 daughter. That would shame them, and bring the tears 
 to her swate eyes, and spoil the good food, and be a 
 shabby and unsatisfactory proceeding, fit for a parcel of 
 boys who hadn't the courage to wag a shtick. I'm sur- 
 prised at ye, Thady, my man." 
 
 " Thady's a fool," said the others in a clinching tone. 
 
 " There's more sinse in Donovan's idea," continued 
 
 c 33
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Mike, whilst thoughtfully mixing another punch, " and 
 that's to knock the cook from Doblin, what's come down 
 special, on the head, or cripple him, anyway. It would 
 be a shpoke in the Squire's wheel. But where's the fun 
 except for the one or two who'd administer the bating ?" 
 
 " Where, indade ? " sighed the conspirators. 
 
 "Sure," went on Mike, "we're not going to encourage 
 any selfishness like that, now, or spoil a hivven-sent 
 chance like this. We want to set the counthry-side a 
 laughing for a year, and not marely have a vulgar, police- 
 sarching thrifle of a broken head or two, or a spoilt dinner." 
 
 " Right, Mike. Sure, it's sinsible flashes that's in the 
 shadow of his idle hid at intervals," frankly admitted 
 Thady : and Donovan swallowed a hot tumblerful with an 
 assenting nod. 
 
 " I've been turning over in me moind what Tim Cassidy 
 said about blocking the road, and upsetting the convey- 
 ances of the Squire's guests, or froightening the horses : 
 and there's a touch of talent about yez, Tim, me honey ; 
 but there's an objection to it, to my thinking, and I'll tell 
 yez for why. 
 
 " Ye see, the Assize at Ballynoggin isn't done yet. 
 There's the Judge and the High Sheriff and a number of 
 lading Counsellors coming to dinner ; and there's a lot of 
 foine fellows still waiting to be thried. There's the poor 
 men about that unplisentness at Rathgommeril fair, where 
 two or three men was kilt and about a dozen maimed, 
 more or less. And thin, there's the man that had the bit 
 of discussion about the rint, and it's not a month ago the 
 Agent was buried with half a pound of shot in his head 
 and more beside." 
 
 " Sure, it's the truth he's afther spaking more pow'r 
 to the long shkull of him ! " remarked another old man, 
 setting his glass down with emphasis. 
 
 34
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 " And would we be afther making it hard for thim, by 
 incinsing the Judge and the Counsellors agin the people of 
 this County i No, no. Besides, who knows but that it 
 might be any of us, any day for we're but poor human 
 men-craythers, and we're all liable to have a diff'rence of 
 opinion with a friend, or an argument with a neighbour, 
 or a healthy koind of prejudice against a bailiff " 
 
 " Aye, aye and that's as sound likely sinse as iver was 
 shpoke. Sure, it's a poor-law garden ye'd have had ought 
 to be, Mike when ye loike to turn on that tap, begorra ! " 
 cried Cassidy, and the rest warmly concurred. 
 
 " But Tim's not such a fool as you be doing right to 
 think he is," pursued Mike, reflectively, " for it's the idea 
 he's been afther giving me, all unbeknown. And if we 
 can carry it out, bedad ! we'll have the foinest fun, and the 
 O'Flaherty will have the gloriousest upper-hand, and the 
 County will shplit its sides, and the Squire will be shut up 
 like a clashp knife ; and the Judge and the rest will join in 
 the hilar'ty, and there'll not be a ha'porth of malice when 
 all's done. Think of that, now." 
 
 His audience rose at him and clamoured for particulars. 
 He, for a moment or two, toyed with their suspense, 
 and enjoyed the wild wide guesses which they fired at 
 him. 
 
 "Well, then," he resumed "it's Cassidy so far as 
 blocking the road's consarned, but it's Mike afther that 
 epishode, as Pater would say. Suppose, we block the road 
 down by that bit of furze-land about half a mile beyond 
 where it divarges the one going to O'Flaherty Hall and 
 the other to Brady Castle " 
 
 " Go on, Mike, go on. Good luck to yez ! " 
 
 "Well, some of yez will be there, with lantherns, to 
 explain about the obstruction, and to privint danger, and 
 show another way " 
 
 35
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "What other way, Mike?" critically demanded 
 Cassidy. 
 
 Mike looked round quizzingly, lit his pipe with 
 deliberate slowness, and drawled out, between the 
 puffs : 
 
 " The other way ! Why, the bit road a mather of a 
 few hundred yards that we'd make across, to strike the 
 road to the Hall." 
 
 " And thin and thin " Donovan almost panted with 
 the enquiry. 
 
 " Then why, we would be the guides, you know : the 
 night is sure to be dark : we'd deludher the dhrivers 
 they're all Ballynoggin men, for it's Mclernan of the Royal 
 Hotel who's finding the veyhicles and maybe, we'd 
 have a thrifle of whisky concealed about us, and make 
 them welcome to't. And begorra ! " Mike rose with his 
 subject and his glass in hand, " before they'd know where 
 they was, Squire Brady's guests would be shot in The 
 O'Flaherty's Hall." 
 
 The denouement thus foreshadowed was unexpected, 
 and the surprise, delight, wonder, and excitement were 
 intense. After the hubbub, Mike quietly said : 
 
 "Yes, that's it; dhivil a bit less. We'll steal Brady's 
 dinner party and hand it over to The O'FJaherty." 
 
 " Bhoys ! " cried Cassidy. " This is a sthroke of janius. 
 Here's The O'Flaherty giving a dhinner party to the 
 officers of the Rigiment in Ballynoggin, and he's to have 
 fifteen of thim and his son an officer in it, too, bedad ! 
 And here's this Squire Brady, bad cess to him ! goes for 
 to give a bigger dhinner on the self-same night to the 
 whole Assize, dhivil take it ! and he's to have about 
 twenty of them ! All done to belittle and shame the 
 Masther. And his Doblin cooks and mates, and special 
 woines from London, and his money galore ! The upstart !
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 Shall we see the rale ould blood, the thrue Masther, the 
 genuine quality, inshulted ?" 
 
 They yelled, swore extemporaneously, and waved their 
 blackthorns. 
 
 " Well then," calmly summed up the big old fellow in 
 the corner, " shtop shouting, and let's go to work." 
 
 They quieted down to arrange their measures as methodi- 
 cally as if a rent collection or collector were to be settled, 
 or a process-server to be hunted, or a mere English poli- 
 tician to be deluded ; or as if they had undertaken a 
 contract and were to be paid overtime. 
 
 Within an hour, some thirty men were quietly at work at 
 various points on the sandy bit of common, and when they 
 left off, a level hard carriage track had been made, connect- 
 ing with the other bifurcation. They had lain the bushes 
 which they had cut in their original places, so as to excite 
 no suspicion, should anyone pass along on the following 
 day ; though they could have no serious apprehension on 
 that point. They reserved for the next evening the re- 
 moval of the shrub, the filling up of a few yards of ditch 
 at either end, and the felling of the tall old elm which they 
 had marked to fall across the road and thus, with the 
 addition of the cut scrub and other matter, render the 
 road impassable. 
 
 It was, doubtless, beautiful to think of the pure and 
 disinterested devotion of those unspoilt children of nature 
 to their hereditary chief. Such unfailing love, such un- 
 faltering loyalty, such self-sacrificing jealousy for his glory, 
 such filial care for his well-being ! How rare is even the 
 appearance of these virtues ! How unspeakably rarer is 
 the reality of those noble and ennobling feelings in this 
 now hard and sordid world ! 
 
 Only, it was all a mistake as regards The O'Flaherty. 
 He was merely an incident not even an Irishman ; but the 
 
 37
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 local colour and worship enveloped him, ate into his being 
 from within, encrusted him from without, and ended by 
 subjugating him completely. 
 
 He had, as Major Royle of the first battalion of the 3rd 
 Rid. P.F.O.L.R.Y. Bayoneteers (the "Tha-Knaws") 
 married the only child of Dionysius O'Flaherty, a wealthy 
 Bombay merchant, who had made it a condition of his consent 
 -and the settlement of fifty thousand pounds, with much 
 more to follow that the Major should retire from the 
 Service so soon as he could do so with the brevet rank of 
 Lieutenant-Colonel ; and, above all, adopt the name of 
 O'Flaherty. Hence Royle O'Flaherty popularly pro- 
 nounced as it was understood as " Real," whence the 
 distinctive prefix "The" was a natural and almost logical 
 outcome. So he gradually became known, and considered 
 himself, as the Rale O'Flaherty, or The O'Flaherty, for 
 short. 
 
 His father-in-law had never been in Ireland, nor his 
 father before him, nor, so far as could be ascertained, had 
 any ancestor or relative. They had, over a century ago, 
 been ruined squireens, and soldiers of fortune almost 
 everywhere; had settled, when not killed off, in almost 
 every country in Europe and South America, and, to a 
 scion, altered, euphemised or translated the family name, 
 and so had become denationalised, if not extinct. Dion of 
 Bombay was, so far as human knowledge went, the last of 
 his family and name. 
 
 When he died, shortly after the birth of his grandson, 
 he settled the remainder of his fortune for the benefit of 
 his daughter and her children and husband or husbands 
 for there are British lawyers in India and left a last 
 request that his son-in-law should buy a property in Ireland 
 and seek out the ancient country of the O'Flaherty's, 
 wherever that might be, and make every reasonable effort 
 
 38
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 to buy back their old property, or some of it, if ever they 
 had any. Old Dion had been born in India and knew 
 absolutely nothing of his family history, beyond the one 
 elementary fact that he must have been of Irish descent, 
 from the name he inherited. 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 AFTER a while, the Colonel learned that, time out of mind, 
 some O' Flaherty's held some land around Kilmacartie. 
 Then his solicitors discovered that, very long ago, there 
 had been sales and foreclosures ; and that, some time before 
 the present period, a Mr Brady had purchased so much 
 property as he could get hold of, from second or third- 
 hand buyers from the Encumbered Estates Court, and 
 other involved owners ; and had built himself a handsome 
 mansion, and seated himself in the midst of his extensive 
 and, as occasion offered, enlarging estate. 
 
 Squire Brady, as he was called, had made a large fortune 
 in America during the war, and had then married though 
 rather late in life and come to the old country with his 
 young wife, his money, and his vigorous business habits. 
 
 It sent a thrill of pride through him when he, through 
 his agent, heard that the Colonel was in the neighbour- 
 hood, and desirous to meet him. 
 
 He drove to Ballynoggin, introduced himself with frank 
 simplicity, expressed the pleasure that it would give him 
 to let the Colonel see the presumed home of his ancestors, 
 and to be able to offer him some good old Irish hospitality. 
 
 There was perhaps, a touch of American vanity in his 
 thought of the improvements that he should show ; there 
 was, perhaps, a touch of sadness in the Colonel's sigh 
 that a stranger should inhabit the land of his fathers. 
 
 39
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 For it was proper to take that view, in pursuance of the 
 deeds which had been executed and the money that had 
 been settled. 
 
 The Colonel and Mrs O'Flaherty spent an enjoyable 
 week at Brady Castle. Mrs Brady and Mrs O'Flaherty 
 became attached friends they were both young mothers ; 
 and it was soon arranged that the Squire should sell to 
 the Colonel a delightfully-situated farm of about a hundred 
 acres, on which still stood some ruins, as to which tradi- 
 tion was mute but which might not unplausibly be assumed 
 to be portions of the old chieftains' halls. There were, 
 too, on that land, some undulating ground, a fine old 
 spinney, and a pleasant curve of the river Noggin. 
 
 Before very long, an imposing country house was 
 built ; the little estate was fenced and nicely laid out in 
 park, farm, and gardens ; a road made thereto ; lodges con- 
 structed, and so forth : and the Colonel settled down, 
 and was a distinct gain to the society within a goodly 
 radius of Ballynoggin. The local territorial Magnate 
 was, as is well-known, the Earl of Beauvarlet, whose 
 seat was near Baleila, but he was never at home at that 
 time. 
 
 O'Flaherty Hall was unquestionably a capital mansion, 
 tastefully equipped. Probably, its finest feature was a 
 great hall with arched ceiling, opening from the outer 
 hall, and running from front to back of the house. Here 
 were portraits, arms and armour of all ages and nations, 
 sporting trophies, Oriental carvings and carpets, curious 
 tables, old chairs, two immense old-fashioned hearths, and 
 many other interesting objects. 
 
 The Colonel hunted, quarter-sessioned, grand juried, 
 gave good dinners, and was, in a word, an active and 
 haughty country gentleman. 
 
 By degrees the people had, in their imaginations, invested 
 40
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 him with the blood of all the O'Flahertys. Not that 
 a vestige of history, or even of truth, had descended to 
 any living creature as to the long-departed of that name. 
 There was not even a bald and hoary legend about them. 
 Until his advent with a designation which lent itself so 
 readily to the manufacture of a past, coupled with his own 
 expressions, in after-dinner speeches, that he had come 
 back, after many years, to lay his bones beside those of 
 his progenitors, and to bring up his family where they 
 had gathered glory and were enshrined in the hearts of 
 their faithful adherents and tribesmen it is doubtful 
 if anyone in the country-side had ever associated the name 
 therewith. 
 
 But it mightily pleased the folk of Kilmacartie to 
 convince themselves that the Colonel was the " rale ould 
 stock," "the good ould blood," "the Chief come to his 
 own again glory be to God ! " Why, in the absence 
 of fact, cause, or reason, except what they delighted to 
 imagine and delude themselves with, they should have 
 so warmed to him in their hearts and become so proud 
 of him, it is hard to say. 
 
 But it was certain that they felt more grateful for 
 one angry glare of his proud yellow eye, than for all the 
 substantial benefits which Squire Brady conferred upon 
 them. 
 
 The Colonel fired their fancy and kindled the romance, 
 which they made for themselves : the Squire found them 
 work, built them good houses, made roads, established 
 factories and infirmary, introduced improved methods 
 of farming, and did other prosaic and worldly good. 
 
 The Colonel treated them like coolies. This impressed 
 them with the sense that they were creatures of an inferior 
 clay, and they almost worshipped him. The Squire 
 wished to raise them to a conception that they were 
 
 41
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 responsible beings, capable of working and washing. 
 But sanitation is a cold-blooded subject, prudence is 
 unsentimental, and active benevolence touches a finely- 
 tempered chord of contempt in the recipients : and so the 
 one was disliked as heartily as the other was idealised 
 and idolised. 
 
 What a chance was lost by some Irish prophet of old 
 in failing to slide adown the stream of time the prediction 
 that his countrymen would always misplace the overflowing 
 afFectionateness of their hearts, and always exercise 
 profound cleverness in acting wrongheadedly under almost 
 all conceivable circumstances ! 
 
 Some three or four years before the meeting at 
 O'Halloran's grocery, to which reference has been made, 
 the Colonel and the Squire had greatly quarrelled, and 
 everybody was aware of the bitter feud that was raging 
 between them. All intercourse between the two families 
 was broken off to the sincere grief of the ladies and 
 the young people, who had been very intimate, the 
 children having almost grown up together. Mrs Brady 
 was now an invalid, and of all her children only one 
 remained Patricia, or Patsey as she was more commonly 
 called. Mrs O' Flaherty whose only son, Dion, was now 
 a subaltern in the second battalion of his father's old 
 regiment, stationed at Ballynoggin had two charming 
 young daughters at home with her : and it was a matter 
 of abiding regret that the disputes of the two gentlemen 
 and over politics, too should have created a gulf 
 between them. 
 
 Of course, the young people were bound to meet oc- 
 casionally at other houses, or at balls, concerts, flower- 
 shows and such like ; and, it was well known amongst 
 the ladies, young and old, that Dion and Patsey had 
 between them no insurmountable political differences or 
 
 42
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 other grave causes for hatred. Their respective fathers 
 had commanded that everything be at an end between the 
 Hall and the Castle, just as a gas or water company 
 might order a supply to be cut off if a tenant refuse to 
 pay his predecessor's arrears ; and they, mere men as they 
 were, concluded that cut off it was. 
 
 The enmity became almost a scandal. The Colonel, 
 who had become so deeply imbued with the idea of his 
 ancient Irish line and hereditary local greatness, had grown 
 almost tyrannical and arrogant. The Squire whose dis- 
 position had not been sweetened by the loss of his boys 
 and the graceless ingratitude of the people around him 
 was not a man either to fawn or to suffer discourteous 
 or unreasoning contradiction, or to abate his perfect inde- 
 pendence. He was not morose or unpleasant or aggressive ; 
 in fact, he was singularly free from the vices and failings 
 of the newly-enriched. And it implied much for the 
 calm genuineness of his character that his long residence 
 in America had left him modest, simple-minded though 
 shrewd, and very natural and gentlemanly in his de- 
 meanour. But he was a strong-willed man : and the 
 Colonel was, in comparison, as stucco is to marble. 
 
 It was almost childish, in a sense, the way those two 
 old gentlemen fought their quarrel before the world. 
 The Colonel had said openly that he would horsewhip 
 the Squire, but that he was such a little prig. The 
 Squire had announced, publicly, that he would shoot 
 the Colonel, but that he was such a big fool : and so 
 matters went on. 
 
 If one gave a ball, a prize for a show, a cup for a 
 race, the other tried to trump the card by something 
 better. If one stood for some office, or supported one 
 candidate, the other duly and energetically opposed him. 
 
 The gentry the facing-both-ways portion of the com- 
 
 43
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 munity were naturally on their guard, and selfish as 
 usual. Here and there some little partisanship would be 
 displayed ; but, on the whole, the cool and smiling class, 
 as everywhere, contrived to sail on its own keel, and 
 to dine with both. 
 
 But the common people, who are so stupid and uncon- 
 ventional as to be true to nature and to themselves (and 
 who may, some day, find out the uncommon people), made 
 no disguise of their feelings. They sided unreservedly 
 with the Masther the Rale O' Flaherty. Every affront 
 they took home to their own bosoms ; every point scored 
 by the Squire made them burn with resentment. They 
 followed each turn of the duel, each vicissitude of the 
 vendetta ; and every incident that happened (and many 
 that did not), was duly caught, polished, enlarged, sub- 
 edited, published, and commented on, hilariously or blood- 
 thirstily, according to the circumstances. 
 
 If the Colonel had been the veritable author of one- 
 tenth of the smart things which were attributed to him, 
 he would deserve to have his name live as long in the 
 ages to come, as he made believe that his blood had 
 coursed in the ages past, beside the Kilmacartie hills and 
 the hoarse-resounding bays some few miles away. 
 
 The witty repartees, the withering sarcasms, the dis- 
 comfiting rejoinders, the crushing allusions, the cutting 
 comparisons, and the endless good things humorous, 
 scathing, haughty, condescending which The O'Flaherty 
 was credited with pouring out, like a torrent fed by un- 
 failing snows, were enough to establish an immortal 
 reputation for any six men of the brightest calibre. All 
 the wit of half a dozen townships was disinterestedly 
 concentrated upon him, as its source, centre and focus. 
 His humble but faithful friends to whom, by the way, 
 he never deigned to speak, or gave anything brought
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 their own best things and sacrificed them at his shrine ; 
 and although there was a backwater of unbelief as to 
 the authenticity of the clever things supposed to be said 
 by him, yet nobody ever raised the question. For, apart 
 from politeness and the Irish peasant is very much a 
 gentleman at heart ; it is only his son, for whom he has 
 painfully procured some education and a footing in some 
 profession or town avocation, who is so often a coarse, 
 violent and unrestrainable nuisance, not worth the mud 
 on his father's brogues ; there was the fitness of the 
 alleged quotation, and fancy could drive it home and 
 impart the gratified feeling that it was " one for the 
 Squire, anyhow." The verity or the reverse was a minor 
 point : the pith lay in the appositeness. The Kilmacar- 
 tians were ready to lie themselves black in the face in the 
 cause of even the seeming truth. 
 
 Well, on the day of the rival dinners, matters fell out 
 exactly as planned. The carriages of the Squire's guests 
 were stopped by the shouts and lanterns of the men who 
 had been stationed there, and who told their story of 
 the tree that had been blown down across the road, 
 and so on ; but, they added, men had been at work all 
 day to make a bit of road around the obstruction where 
 they could get it solid enough and they were there 
 to conduct them. 
 
 " What a people ! " sighed the Judge to the High 
 Sheriff. " Here they have employed twice as many men, 
 for twice as many hours, in making this temporary detour, 
 as it would have taken to clear the road for good and 
 all. What a people ! " 
 
 Meanwhile, the carriages were being led along the 
 new path, the numerous lights here and there amidst the 
 intense darkness greatly mystifying the drivers, and the 
 explanations, jokes, and convenient bottles of the guides 
 
 45
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 disarming suspicion and diminishing responsibility. In a 
 short time they were through the gates, up the avenue, 
 and the occupants of the equipages were inside O'Flaherty 
 Hall, whilst the convoy scattered into the darkness. The 
 drivers and horses were taken by the Colonel's grooms 
 to the stables, where plenty of cheer awaited man and 
 beast. 
 
 The Colonel's guests in full uniform were gathered 
 in the magnificent, well-warmed and lighted hall, and Mrs 
 O'Flaherty and her daughters were chatting pleasantly 
 with some of the officers, and affecting, as ladies can do, 
 not to hear the scuffling and commotion in the outer hall, 
 when, to everybody's stupefaction, the heavy curtains 
 between the two tall columns were withdrawn, and the 
 long judicial procession filed in. 
 
 The O'Flaherty advanced to meet them. 
 
 The High Sheriff exclaimed " Why, Colonel 
 O'Flaherty ! And to be sure this is your house 
 not Mr Brady's." 
 
 " Not Mr Brady's ! " thundered the Judge. " Not 
 Mr Brady's ! What's the meaning of this, Sir ? " His 
 fat face glowed purple with indignation. 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 THE Colonel could only assume, as an obvious considera- 
 tion, that the drivers had mistaken their way. 
 
 But the Clerk of the Peace who had had a taste of 
 the Colonel's hauteur, and who knew of the animosity 
 between him and the Squire hinted that the mistake 
 might not have been unintentional. 
 
 Whereupon the Colonel turned furiously upon him, 
 and then the Judge said that he should hear further from 
 
 46
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 him, and demanded his carriage ; and everybody was 
 talking and gesticulating at the same time except the 
 officers, who, of course, put on stolid faces which ex- 
 pressed no more than if they had been the court cards 
 of a new pack. 
 
 Mrs O'Flaherty came forward and endeavoured to 
 assuage the storm ; but the Judge strode to the front 
 door, ordered it to be opened, and with his own hands 
 pounced on Mike, who was looking in. 
 
 " Bring him in, bring him in," was the cry. " We'll 
 get to the bottom of this extraordinary outrage." 
 
 He was dragged in, and set in the midst of some two 
 score of elegantly-dressed people. There was a twinkle 
 in his eye as he looked quietly round him at the armour 
 and pictures and lights ; but he speedily assumed an 
 inimitable air of bewilderment, humility and ignorance. 
 
 Question after question was showered upon him. Mike 
 had little to say. He didn't belong there at all. He 
 thought a thrifle of a job might be going, to help with 
 the horses or other things. How did they get there ? 
 Faith then, and they had better be afther asking their 
 dhrivers who were now well on the way back to Bally- 
 noggin, he was thinking, for fear of the mistake they'd 
 made in the black night. Well, perhaps his honour was 
 right ; he knew more than he'd told, for he was only a 
 poor boy, and not much used to be afther confedherating 
 with the Quality. 
 
 " Do you know that this is his lordship, the Judge ? " 
 solemnly asked him one of the Counsel. 
 
 " Well, thin, he can't hang me and it's all the same 
 to Mike if he could, for dhivil a word will I say to get 
 any mother's son into throuble at all, at all ; and his 
 lordship can do as he likes with me, or send me across 
 the says, or have me put away for the rest of my unnatural 
 
 47
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 loife ; but sorra the name will I name, if I'm to be hanged 
 and quartered for everyone I refuse to mintion." 
 
 They stared at him with some admiration, and smiles 
 began to break on some of the faces. 
 
 " But what was it for ? Where was the sense of it ? 
 What was the object of misdirecting us ? " 
 
 " Faith then, and it was just this. The O'Flaherty 
 was to have only fifteen guests this blessed night, and 
 the Squire that's Squire Brady must choose this same 
 toime for his dinner, and was to have twenty of yez ; 
 and how was ignorant people to know that lawyers don't 
 be counting for as much as officers, who're gintlemen? 
 Sure, it's only by the quantity they goes and not by the 
 thrue value." 
 
 Mike added this commentary with the most natural 
 air imaginable, and he seemed surprised at the peals of 
 laughter which followed it. 
 
 He looked simpler than ever as he went on, in the tone 
 of a man stating a self-evident proposition : 
 
 " Sure, an' we couldn't be expected to see such an 
 affront put on the Masther ; so we just agreed to bag 
 the lot of yez, saving yer presence and land yez all 
 here, so's the Masther would have thirty- five, and the 
 Squire not a blasted one." 
 
 There was roar upon roar when he stopped ; and the 
 Colonel repeated his assurances, that he had known 
 nothing whatsoever about the ridiculous stratagem, and 
 offered to get all the carriages he could muster and him- 
 self convoy them to Brady Castle. 
 
 The situation was too absurd. His lordship declared 
 that nothing " should induce him to venture out again 
 into the night, dinner or no dinner. Whereupon Mrs 
 O'Flaherty begged them all to stay, and they would 
 make shift some way or another.
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 "Hark you, sir," said the Judge sternly to Mike. "I 
 should like to know the man who originated this unique 
 scheme j or did you combine your wits on the subject, 
 eh?" 
 
 " Yes, me lord," answered Mike, respectfully, without 
 a twitch in his face. " You see, sir, when we bhoys put 
 our hids and shticks together, the atmosphere is full 
 of foine ideas and and of bits of skull, as well, some- 
 times, the hivvens be praised ! " 
 
 Mike looked childlike-innocence itself when he said 
 this : there was a shout of laughter, and the High Sheriff 
 told him that he should have to hang him some day, 
 but meanwhile he had better go and keep the coach- 
 men together for the home journey, later, and take the 
 sovereign, which he gave him, for his impudence. 
 
 " My dear Mrs O'Flaherty," said the Judge, " you must 
 not think of interfering with your dinner. Take your 
 guests : let us have a bottle or two of wine, and we shall 
 make our way back later on, later on " but this was 
 spoken falteringly. 
 
 Major Murphison, who was the senior officer of the 
 Battalion, joined The O'Flaherty in deprecating any 
 division. " United we sit and dine," said he, "Divided 
 we stand losing time and spoiling the fish." 
 
 " And if there's not enough to go round," said a leading 
 Counsel, " those who have fish shan't have soup, and vice 
 
 * 5> 
 
 versa. 
 
 " As to that," observed the Major. " The O'Flaherty's 
 cellar is good, and that's the main thing. As for the 
 solids, faith ! and if there's bacon and eggs enough in 
 the house, we'll go for that and I'm the boy to fry it, 
 too. Ah ! it's a trate, ye'll say, when once you get a 
 taste of it." 
 
 Finally, amidst much laughing and talking for Arms 
 D 49
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and Law had by this time got pleasantly mixed together 
 it was decided that all available tables should be laid in 
 the hall as had been done on many a festive occasion 
 before and that dinner should be served when ready, 
 and made to go so far as possible, seeing the unexpected 
 irruption of twenty more diners. 
 
 Whilst these arrangements were being carried out 
 those who were not helping were talking, and all were 
 drinking freely at side tables the Colonel had written a 
 letter to Mr Brady, explaining the circumstances and 
 expressing his regrets. He showed it to the Judge. 
 
 " Ask him to come along and join us," said his lordship. 
 " Oh yes I know of the ridiculous falling-out of you two. 
 It is childish two gentlemen, neighbours, excellent fellows 
 both all about some trumpery trifle, I'll be bound. Ask 
 him to come, sir, on my advice. Now." 
 
 " Please do, Dad," pleaded Dion ; and then he brought 
 his mother who, woman-like, did not request, but uttered 
 her delight, and thanks, and compliments for his having 
 done it. So he was fain to re-write his letter. 
 
 " And I'll take it myself," said Dion, with a high colour 
 on his handsome young face, " as well as the letter the 
 Mater is writing to Mrs Brady." 
 
 " We'll go with you as a deputation," cried the jolly old 
 Major, " the Doctor and I. We'll get a carriage out at 
 once." 
 
 That astute campaigner had formed a plan to revictual 
 the fort. 
 
 " Don't hurry too fast with the dinner," he shouted, 
 before he left. " I'll want you to judge of my skill in 
 cooking. We'll be back inside of no time. Play light in 
 the manewhoile." 
 
 The company at length sat down, and there was a 
 continual ripple of merriment. It was the most uncon-
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 strained and enjoyable dinner at which anyone there had 
 ever assisted. The Judge insisted on each guest selecting 
 either soup or fish, and either one entree or another, not- 
 withstanding Mrs O'Flaherty's assurances that there was 
 plenty of everything, as was, indeed, evident. But there 
 was a boyish delight all round the table in converting a 
 formal dinner into a sort of bivouac or picnic, and in 
 serving and eating informally. 
 
 They were scarcely conscious that any appreciable time 
 had elapsed, when the Major and the Doctor returned, 
 and the butler announced Mr Brady. All rose from their 
 seats and hailed him with a rousing cheer. Mrs O'Flaherty 
 unaffectedly spoke her joy : and her husband frankly 
 gripped hands with him, repeated his regrets and turned 
 a graceful phrase that he should now cease to be sorry 
 since it had brought him to the Hall once more. 
 
 The Squire suitably replied all this having passed in 
 a very few moments and then sat down beside his hostess 
 breaking out, after a minute or two, in a ringing burst of 
 laughter, which set the entire table to a loud accompani- 
 ment ; for, verily, the whole thing was so exceedingly 
 droll, and as the Judge said possible only in Ireland. 
 
 Nobody seemed to miss Dion except, perhaps, his 
 mother, if her occasional looks towards the door could be 
 so interpreted. A close observer would not have had 
 many doubts on the subject especially after she had, on 
 some trifling pretext, sent her eldest daughter, Valentina, 
 to procure something or another which she feigned a wish 
 to show, and which only her daughter could find. 
 
 She turned her head quickly as one of the side doors in 
 the hall opened, and Valentina returned, smiling and 
 nodding. She was followed by Dion, with Patsey, looking 
 radiant and lovely, on his arm. 
 
 The gentlemen all rose. Mrs O'Flaherty kissed her,
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 whilst the Squire seemed too surprised to speak. Dion 
 led her to his father, who looked from the one to the 
 other. Then he, too, kissed Patsey's glowing cheek, and 
 simply said " I see, I see, I see." 
 
 " Yes, sir," said Dion, diffidently yet courageously. 
 " My sweetheart from a boy, dad. And now, thank God ! 
 we shall not have to deceive our fathers any more by 
 pretending that all was over between us. It never was, 
 and never will be will it, Patsey ? " 
 
 Patsey blushed, and then she looked up coyly into the 
 Colonel's face, and lovingly into her lover's, and said, 
 quietly but firmly, " No, Dion." 
 
 And so it was all understood ; and the Judge kissed her 
 and made many jokes, and the Squire was very happy in 
 the few remarks which he made, inasmuch as they con- 
 cluded with the significant words that Patsey was his only 
 child, and all he had should be her's. 
 
 " Mrs O'Flaherty," cried the Major, from the other end 
 of the table, " will you plaze order the servants to clare 
 complately away, when you've gone, for we must relay 
 the tables for supper. We've requisitioned the Squire's 
 dinner all but the soups and brought it along in a 
 brake, a brougham, and a gig. It will be all nicely cooled 
 in another hour or so, and it's the Doctor and meself will 
 take the superintendence : and we'll put the Chief at the 
 one end, and the Squire to face him at the other, and all 
 ourselves between." 
 
 This speech was received with much applause. 
 
 " I am really not to blame, my dear Mrs O'Flaherty," 
 laughed Mr Brady. " The Major carried me by storm, 
 packed me off, and demanded a free hand." 
 
 " And very civil it was of him to ask at all," said the 
 Judge, " seeing that he was, for the time being, in the 
 enemy's country." 
 
 52
 
 The Old Blood 
 
 " Now, don't be afther wasting your beautiful appetites 
 on jellies and confectionary bedhivilments," proclaimed the 
 Major, in persuasive tones. "Kape them for the Squire's 
 supper in the Chief's Hall. Sure, it's only fair, and it's 
 an act of justice we'll be perpethrating without disrispict 
 to his lordship and the Bar, who won't object for this 
 once seeing that they're off duty." 
 
 He bowed with grave reverence to the Judge and the 
 barristers, and humbly added that such an act, under the 
 circumstances, need not be a precedent ; and the leader of 
 Bar said that they should all lose their characters if it 
 became generally known that they had so far degenerated 
 from Law as to sink to Justice. 
 
 " There's ven'son and bafe and turkeys and tongues and 
 turbot and salmon," went on the Major, " and Southdown 
 saddles from London, and trout from Killarney, and 
 pheasants from Norfolk and mutton from Arran, and 
 pineapples and paches, and lots and lashings of delicacies 
 and sundries beyond all enumeration, for it's not an 
 automoton catalogue I am, bedad ! And, hear to this, 
 now ! Meself and the Doctor there for all he looks so 
 innocent will do a mighty mixed grill of birds of all sorts 
 that will set you dhraming of Paradise and give you a 
 thirst that angels might envy. And, faith ! it will be 
 enough to timpt us all to fall out, for] no rayson at all, at 
 all as is generally the case so as to fall in again, by 
 the pow'rs ! " 
 
 The Major, as usual, succeeded in kindling enthusiasm. 
 When that company separated, after dawn the ladies, 
 of course, had not assisted at the supper it was unani- 
 mously acknowledged, with deep sincerity but with 
 questionable coherence, that the evening had been passed 
 very pleasantly ; in fact, that it had been the most up- 
 roariously glorious night that any of them had ever known. 
 
 53
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 A gifted young barrister improvised some lines, and 
 sang them with much gusto, and he announced his intention 
 to publish them under the title of " Kilmacartie, and the 
 Stolen dinner-party." 
 
 There was a merry drinking, interspersed with two or 
 three highly delectable fights, at O'Halloran's, on the 
 following night. Squire Brady had sent him a five-pound 
 note for the boys to spend, and they drank his health with 
 delighted yells and with tears in their eyes. 
 
 ''Sure," said Donovan, " The Rale O'Flaherty that's 
 Masther Dion will now thruly come into what's not his 
 own, and niver was glory be to God ! " 
 
 " Yes," sighed Mike. " It's all right. But dhivil take 
 the good luck of it for we've been and overdone it : and 
 it's mighty dull ye'll be now, with sorra a quarrel or a 
 gray vance. Never mind ! Here's to swate Patsey Brady 
 that's to marry the young Chief ! And here's to the Rale 
 Ould Blood that's to come out of that manoover. Huroo ! " 
 
 54
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 MIKE of Baleila he was more commonly known as Mike 
 the Omadhoun was so used to see disaster dog his foot- 
 steps with fatal precision that the amicable upshot of that 
 abducted dinner-party upset him a good deal. It was, no 
 doubt, very nice and pleasant to the Quality the parties 
 immediately concerned ; but it was a tame sequel from his 
 point of view. 
 
 Small wonder, therefore, that he fell into a fit of dejec- 
 tion and transient industry. 
 
 He lived uneventfully for some weeks and sighed to 
 think that he was dying down to hard and acrid respect- 
 ability, though some little incidents had flecked the 
 stagnancy of existence and borne up his life in some 
 degree. 
 
 There was, for instance, that diverting episode nigh 
 to a tragedy of the Excise supervisors whom he met in 
 the hills when he was seeking illicit game, and they illicit 
 stills ; and whom he wandered and left stranded at night 
 without compass, chart or guidance, beside a black bottom- 
 less tarn. He gained renown, money, and an official letter 
 of thanks, for securing help and heading a discovery and 
 relief party next day : but the joy lay not in those things. 
 
 Then there was that other matter when he swam out to 
 a disabled Dutch brig which had taken the sand on a spit 
 off the dreaded Monk's Head. 
 
 55
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Also that comical affair of the fiddler, who had intended 
 to default at a wedding in an outlying village, whom he 
 kidnapped, together with his fiddle ; and with whom he 
 became the best of friends having first broken his head 
 and then filled him with as much liquor as would make an 
 entire orchestra in any other country lapse into limitless 
 rests or undiscretionary tremulos. 
 
 It is scarcely worth while alluding to a few fights here 
 and there ; the bonfire of a lawyer's clerk's papers which 
 that person, himself, was compelled to light ; the miracle 
 or coincidence as infidel black Protestants would call it 
 which hung a capital haunch of mutton in Father O'Kay's 
 cupboard when the Vicar-general unexpectedly visited him, 
 and when there were only a bit of bacon and some eggs in 
 the house ; and the unaccountable disappearance of a similar 
 joint from the larder of Mr M'Phail, who had a big house 
 on the Ballynoggin Road, and was proportionately hated 
 as a man, a Scot, a magistrate, a freemason, a Presbyterian, 
 and a fish-factor. 
 
 As to poaching, that was neither here nor there. Mike 
 always had half a dozen or more dogs boarded out with 
 the hillside cottagers, and a normal following of consider- 
 able strength and variety. 
 
 There was not a depraved or outlawed dog within 
 miles which did not affinatively attach itself to his 
 heels. 
 
 Nor was there any staid or reputable animal which, once 
 in his society or within his sphere of influence, failed im- 
 mediately to develop wild and dishonest habits reverting 
 at a bound, and without prompting, to ante-evolutionary 
 conditions of mind and morals. 
 
 There can be no better proof of the power of sympathy, 
 by working which egotistical weakness, and " the terrible 
 power of familiarity," which Carlyle says gave Mirabeau 
 
 56
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 such subjugating ascendancy over his fellows, the tactful 
 animal is proudly able to claim that the noblest conquest 
 of the dog is man. 
 
 Mike poached for sport, and because it was actually 
 illegal and theoretically sinful. When he was successful 
 game was abundant in many a cottage and cabin. During 
 the sedate period to which reference has been made, he 
 had a rousing carouse with Lord Beauvarlet's keeper, and 
 they regaled on Squire Brady's birds and a great jar of 
 mountain whisky which no shadow of the Revenue had 
 polluted. On the following day he held fierce festival 
 with Squire Brady's keeper, assisted by a twin-jar, when 
 they critically relished his lordship's game. 
 
 But these were mere hum-drum interludes : he longed 
 for excitement. His mother, who kept the inn at Baleila, 
 and his pretty cousin, Mary, somehow lacked appreciation 
 of his help at home. They said that he was mighty in- 
 convenient, and that his hospitality was too splendid. The 
 women of the village, too, came clamouring to retrieve 
 their husbands, fathers, sons, or other male belongings ; 
 and his Reverence said that he could always tell when 
 Mike was helping in the house, for the noise of the 
 singing could be heard for a mile, and dhivil a hand's 
 turn of work was done in the locality. 
 
 One blazing hot morning he was sitting outside, with 
 some wisps of straw-hat hanging on a curl or two at the 
 back of his head, repairing some fishing-tackle. He was 
 talking to himself, and singing, in a scrappy intermittent 
 sort of way. 
 
 "She turned her back on me, so she did, did Mary! 
 ' You're the idlest bhoy in the county,' sez she, ' and it's 
 listen to a gomeraun like you, indade ! ' sez she, and she 
 tossed her hid like a speritted filly. Well, thin, dhivil 
 may care, say I. 
 
 57
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 I'm not half good enough for you, 
 Molly O'Mara, Molly O'Mara ; 
 But my heart is tendher and true, 
 As if all the world held but us two, 
 Molly O' 
 
 " Och, it's spoiling I am for a bit of honest divarsion. 
 Sure, it's mighty miserable it is being vartuous ; and 
 where's your thanks if you go to be a public benefacther 
 for other people ? Sorra a bit. The next time I go a 
 public-benefacthering it will be for myself alone, begorra ! 
 
 And shall we sit still while the tyrant is boashting ? 
 Shall the sons of proud Clare 
 
 " Bad luck to it for an ending ! Here's The O'Flaherty 
 and the Squire as friendly as if they'd never known each 
 other, and all is swate and pleasant for them, and not a 
 ha'porth of quarrel or disturbance left to cheer us. I've 
 been the manes of killing all the fun, ochone ! 
 
 Sure, an' I'm too young to marry, 
 
 Sez she an' she rowled her eye : 
 
 Now, don't you think we'd better tarry ? 
 
 Sez she and she rowled her eye. 
 
 Sez he, if that's so, then, by Ould Harry, 
 
 My broken heart, and gould, I'll carry 
 
 Across the raging says to Pari 
 
 Troth then, and bedad, will I. 
 
 " Faith ! and that's my case intirely, for it's broken- 
 hearted I am, too, barring the gould : and it's disperate 
 enough I am to go to Pari myself, and that's next door 
 to the bad place itself, by all accounts, for it's the height 
 of good company they do be having there." 
 
 Then he took to singing again his pronunciation being 
 here macadamized for the common intelligence. 
 
 Mr and Mrs Timothy Callaghan 
 
 Lived in the basement of house No. 4 ; 
 But, alas I now, they never more shall again 
 
 On their neighbourhood beam as they did of yore. 
 
 58
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 She was gentle and kind, with an affable smile, 
 
 Which glistened extensively when left alone. 
 Her soft sparkling eyes show'd a heart void of guile 
 
 And she weighed, I should say, over seventeen stone. 
 
 And Tim was the pattern of as decent a boy 
 
 As ever had a drop in immoderation. 
 To be social and free was the height of his joy 
 
 It always took three to get him to the station. 
 
 " Ah, Mary ! you'll maybe think better of me when I'm 
 under the green sod . . . Oh, it's the light of me eyes 
 she is. She's listening now, I'll go bail. Listeners 
 always do hear good of themselves if it's said on 
 purpose, of coorse." 
 
 At this point Mary, who had overheard the aside, shut 
 down the half-window with a bang, and Mike laughed 
 and winked as if his eyes were heliographing to each 
 other. 
 
 He resumed his elegy : 
 
 'Twas rather bad form for Michael O'Brannigan 
 
 To get himself mix'd in a connubial dispute : 
 Still, the point's doubtful, for Mrs Callaghan 
 
 Rendered the crisis somewhat acute. 
 
 It is ambiguous how the discussion arose, 
 
 But there came a coolness that 'tis no use mincing : 
 
 For they exchanged some remarks and some glasses and blows 
 With an aim and an emphasis truly convincing. 
 
 The late M. O'Brannigan doubtless intended well ; 
 
 And, in fact, he had paid for the ultimate bowl. 
 Twas he, not the quarrel, that was then ended well ; 
 
 The police took the Callaghans, and angels his soul. 
 
 The sad, mourning friends, of both parties bereft, 
 Tearfully bade them a pathetic "good-bye, all." 
 
 Then they drank up the liquor the combatants left, 
 And gaily looked forward to the Inquest and Trial. 
 
 59
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 He threw some extraordinary tones and quaverings into 
 the tune, as if he were deeply touched with the sentiment 
 especially with the concluding stanza. 
 
 " The Lord be good to us, but what's the crayther 
 afther doing now ? " 
 
 Mike looked half round and saw old Peter, Father 
 O'Kay's servant, before him. 
 
 After the usual salutations and very gracious they are 
 amongst the real Irish country-folk Peter said : 
 
 " It's business I've to tell you, Mike, this blessed 
 morning serious business." 
 
 " Och, if it's sarious it will kape, and grow mellow 
 with the kaping," answered Mike, apprehensively. 
 
 " But I must tell it you, for I shall want your help, and 
 there's things that concern you " 
 
 " Is it anybody who'd be mended by a bating, or has 
 been saying or doing any hurt, or kaping back his dues ? 
 Or is anyone coming to see his riv'rence and the cupboard 
 bare, or, or " asked Mike. 
 
 "No, no," laughed Peter, "that's all right. The 
 people are good, very good. There are not softer hearts 
 or harder fishts in the county-side than in this parish, 
 glory be to God ! " 
 
 " Amen to that same ! " said Mike devoutly. 
 
 " Well then, you mind of that Dutch ship " 
 
 " Oh, aye," observed Mike, with unassumed indifference, 
 " but rowl in your news, Pater ma bouchal." 
 
 " Low thafe that captin was, or he could never be so 
 mane. He tould Mr M'Phail at Ballynoggin that he'd 
 bring process for some things as he'd lost, or been robbed 
 of, as he said ; and refused to pay a shilling to the men as 
 saved his ship and crew and his own dhirty self. He said 
 he'd let the insurance people do that same." 
 
 " Dhivil fly away with him and his money, too. I 
 60
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 wouldn't touch it with a stable-fork," said Mike 
 indignantly. 
 
 " And he said," resumed Peter, " that we was a poor- 
 spirited lot here to neglect our opportunities, he said. 
 What a splendid coast for smuggling, said he, and these 
 lazy Irish don't use it, he said." 
 
 "That's it," cried Mike, with disgust. "Never a 
 blashted furriner comes to Ireland but he talks of our 
 neglected industries, as they call it, drat them ! Why, if 
 it's so hard for a poor man now to get a job of wurruk, 
 what would it be if there was more industries ? Sure, it's 
 miserabler we'd be, with less to do for more of us. It 
 stands to rayson." 
 
 " Thrue for ye," replied Peter, "or, more to do for 
 less of us, and it's all one, anyhow. Sure, it's the sinsible 
 things you can say at odd times, Mike. Well, they was 
 so angered and ashamed at Ballynoggin the Quality and 
 the officers and the merchants with that Dutch baste, 
 that they've subscribed the money for to give you a 
 prisint " 
 
 "Pater," said Mike quickly and earnestly, "can't you 
 conthrive that the prisint shall be for Mary inside there ? 
 Wasn't she there, with all the people standing white-faced 
 on the shore and on the rocks at the Creek side, with the 
 jagged ends and shreds of waves and spray dashing like 
 pellets on their cheeks ; and wasn't it she who said ' Go, 
 Mike, and the good God be wid ye, for it's the lives of 
 His craytures you'd be saving ' when my own mother 
 was for houlding me back ? Oh, Pater, it's she who 
 should have it, by rights, and you must manage it, if you 
 love me." 
 
 " Indade and he must not" cried Mary, suddenly 
 appearing from the Inn, her beautiful eyes afire. 
 
 Mike promptly turned the subject by saying to Peter 
 
 61
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "It's the thick hid entirely I do be having this day. 
 Won't ye be passing indoors and have a taste ? It's your- 
 self knows the way, Pater, ye sowl." 
 
 " Ah," said Peter, " the Lord be with the times I've 
 gone over this step ! God and Mary save this house and 
 all whom it's sheltering ! " and the three went in. 
 
 Peter had other news as well, and a service which he 
 desired of Mike. 
 
 That was no less than to travel down to Cork and bring 
 back a young man a dark young man to Baleila : " Off 
 colour, more like," said Peter with a smile. 
 
 It appeared that a brother of Peter's had, very many 
 years before, gone to America, and, after numerous 
 shiftings and adventures, had settled down in Bolivia and 
 accumulated a very fair fortune in mining, trading and 
 planting. The lad whom he had sent home was his only 
 child : the mother had died when he was only three years 
 old. She was the daughter, by a Creole mother, of a 
 general of old Spanish blood. It was, he told his brother, 
 a great grief to part with the boy, but it was for his good, 
 though he had had him taught as well as he could, and had 
 even kept a tutor an old Italian exile of many accom- 
 plishments living in the house for the past ten years. 
 He had now despatched him to Ireland, with an ample 
 bank provision, in order that he might have the best 
 possible College education, for which purpose he had 
 besought Father O'Kay's assistance. 
 
 He had instructed Larry, it was added, to disembark at 
 Queenstown, and go to a hotel in Cork and there post the 
 letters which he had given him to the priest and his 
 brother. This had been done, the young man, himself, 
 writing to both, and surprising them with the evidence of 
 tuition, and even of good breeding, which his letters 
 disclosed. 
 
 62
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 Now, as the Father was rather unwell just then, Peter 
 could not leave him ; so he wished Mike to go and convoy 
 him. 
 
 " A naygur ! " exclaimed Mike superciliously. 
 
 " Shame to you, Mike ! " cried Mary. " Sure, there's 
 something delightful in the idea of Mr Peter's brother 
 keeping the memory of his own village, where he was 
 born, green and warm in his heart after all those long 
 years away in foreign lands ; and of his love for that boy, 
 his son, although he may be a bit of a naygur ; and sending 
 him home, across the wide says, to get larning, the best 
 to be had. I know that the boy loves him back with all 
 the heart of him ; and at this very moment the ould 
 gentlemar far away is, may be, reckoning the time of his 
 lad's arrival here, and wishing himself was here, too. Ah ! 
 and he's dhraming and remembering when he was a boy in 
 this same village, and wondering who's left alive and who's 
 gone to glory ; and, maybe, as the water rises to his eyes 
 at the looking back across the storm and the sorrows of 
 the years that have passed, longing and fain to kiss the 
 very stones of the streets which his young feet knew so 
 long, so long ago. And you'd think it demaning to go, 
 and guide that lad, in a counthry that's strange and new 
 to him, because he's of another colour ! " 
 
 Mary was a very lovely girl, tall, dark, lithe. Now 
 her beauty was all aglow with pride, feeling and fine 
 indignation. Her face perfectly reflected her animated 
 little speech. 
 
 " I am ashamed, Mary dear," said Mike humbly. " I 
 spoke before I thought as I generally do be doing, and 
 it's a poor hand at thinking I am, anyway. Peter, say the 
 word and I'm your man, and, begorra ! I like the bhoy 
 already. And all's one whether he's say-green, or sky- 
 blue, or ebony-black, or any other shade, hue, complexion 
 
 63
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 or colour, or all of them together, bedad ! like a paycock, 
 or a dhrum-major or an earthquake rainbow, I mane 
 begorra ! That's settled, and here's good luck to him ! 
 Huroo!" 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 WELL within ten minutes of Mike's delivery of Peter's 
 letter to young O'Gra at the hotel in Cork, he and that 
 sunburnt gentleman were bosom friends. The latter was 
 a tall, straight, powerfully-built fellow, with a merry face 
 and a musical voice ; dark, certainly, but with fine features, 
 European in cut ; eyes large, soft and oval, and hair 
 crinkled in shiny wavelets : altogether strapping, hand- 
 some and gentlemanly ; well dressed in tweeds with snowy 
 linen, gold watch and chain, and a sparkling ring on his 
 finger. 
 
 "Pater doesn't be suspecting that he's only a thrifle 
 mixed-colour uncle, I'll go bail," said Mike to himself, 
 whilst the other was reading a note. 
 
 " Faith ! and it's meself's deloighted to see ye, Mike," 
 said the young fellow with a delicious West Country 
 brogue, crumpling the letter into his pocket and giving 
 him a hearty grip of his hand. " Call me Larry from 
 this out, d'ye moind. Now, what will ye dhrink ? " 
 
 " Mother o' Moses ! " exclaimed Mike. " Sure, an' 
 he spakes as if he was born in the finest stye in Baleila," 
 and he looked at him with almost superstitious astonish- 
 ment. 
 
 Larry laughed loudly. 
 
 " Begorra ! " he replied, " it's just the way I've always 
 shpoke, and mighty quare I thought it whin I heard them 
 talk in New York when I'd to go on a furrin ship so's 
 to take the stamer to Oueenstown. My father and I 
 
 "64
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 were the only two as shpoke it in our own country barring 
 a few merchants and planters. It's Spanish they talk 
 there all the toime." 
 
 His surprise over, Mike took to him at once : he was 
 such a cheery, frank, good-looking fellow : such a miracle 
 of a cross-bred Irishman from another world ; and im- 
 parting such piquancy and richness to his enunciation 
 and language. 
 
 They had a drink or two, and strolled about the town. 
 They proposed to leave for Ballynoggin by an evening 
 train, stay there the night, and drive over to Baleila 
 with the luggage in the morning. 
 
 "That's where a lot of low blagyards inshulted me 
 yesterday," said Larry, as they passed a narrow and 
 populous street, " and set up cries at the colour of me 
 hoide, and threw shtones afther me." 
 
 "Tare an' 'ounds ! " growled Mike, "wait till I get a 
 wholesome shtick for ye, and we'll go and make lanes 
 amongst them." 
 
 " No, no," said Larry, " sure, dhivil the bit I'm caring, 
 at all." 
 
 " Let's get yez a dacent shtick, anyhow," persisted 
 Mike. "No gintleman's outfit's complate wid a whisp 
 like that in your hand. What satisfaction or enjoyment 
 is there to be got out of the like of that ? " queried he, 
 contemptuously. 
 
 " Oh, but it's not the shtick I want when I do be 
 wanting it," answered Larry. " Many's the botheration 
 I've been in, and it's always well served I've been by 
 the long arms of me and the hammer of a fisht at the 
 ind of them, which has knocked down many a woild 
 steer. And I've a hid on me, Mike, which I'll wager 
 to break any door that's made of wood, or double up 
 any man as I can get a fair go at, bedad ! " 
 
 E 65
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Mike regarded him with intense admiration. They 
 continued their walk and chat being stared at and 
 jeered at occasionally; but they took no notice. 
 
 Mike had formed a plan. He knew perfectly well 
 though a stranger to the city that he had only to interest 
 the street next to the delinquent one to obtain all reason- 
 able support : for every two adjoining streets, or the two 
 ends of the same street, would naturally be at feud in 
 any Irish town. 
 
 Reckoning on this assured factor and modestly under- 
 estimating his own electric affinity which never failed to 
 secure him any amount of misguided but earnest co- 
 operation in the composition and maintenance of any 
 lively proceedings he and Larry found themselves in a 
 public-house and, in a very short while, the centre of 
 much curiosity and sympathy. 
 
 A little hospitality, a song or two, and a few observa- 
 tions relative to the inhabitants of the neighbouring streets 
 and the whole affair was organised. 
 
 " Look here, now," said he to some of the more in- 
 fluential local citizens by whom he was surrounded, "this 
 is what we'll do. Mr Larry, here who's a prince or a 
 king beyond the says, but as good an Irishman as the 
 Pope himself and me, we'll sthroll down the street 
 with a tread-on-the-tail-of-me-coat expression in the corner 
 of our eyes. Thin, when the shindy begins, and they 
 start on us, we will just play aisy about their hids, and 
 I'll give a whira-whoo. Thin you " to a one-eyed, 
 red-headed, supremely dirty but highly good-humoured 
 Hercules " tear in with some of the bhoys at the one 
 ind ; and you " to another enthusiast, with a week-old 
 beard on a pock-marked face, and with bare ropey arms 
 " swing in your shpalpeens at the other ; and we'll have 
 a hivenly toime, bedad ! " 
 
 66
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 These arrangements met with warm approval, and the 
 contingents were promptly gathered. The very women 
 and children took a delighted concern in the forthcoming 
 exercises. 
 
 By some means, the population of the objective 
 street got wind of the design, and made preparation 
 accordingly. 
 
 Within half an hour, with almost explosive suddenness, 
 there was kindled a full-blooded riot, with a hundred 
 fights, a bombardment from windows, a smashing of heads 
 and glass, and a fierce skirmishing which lasted for many 
 hours, and was not completely suppressed until late at 
 night, by which time the police-station was crowded with 
 prisoners, and the infirmary with wounded belligerents 
 and disabled constables. 
 
 Mike had the good luck which so often, if not always, 
 attends the most harum-scarum of the human family and, 
 by a strange irony, fails the most cold-bloodedly circum- 
 spect. 
 
 For, on his and Larry's appearance before the magis- 
 trates next morning, who should be there but two of 
 the very Counsel whom he had seen on the occasion of 
 the dinner at O'Flaherty Hall, and who had, only some 
 days before, when they were in Court at Ballynoggin, 
 subscribed to the present intended for him in connection 
 with his gallant rescue of the Dutch brig. 
 
 They recognised him, laughed, asked him a question 
 or two, and took up the defence con amore. 
 
 There are not ten men at the English Bar who could 
 have made the impassioned, humorous, argumentative and 
 utterly discursive speeches which they extemporised to 
 the Bench. The result was some small fines, which 
 Larry paid out of his well-filled purse ; whilst all the 
 other leading combatants, who were in a condition to 
 
 67
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 appear at all, were either sent to prison right off, or 
 heavily amerced, which came to the same thing. 
 
 Thoroughly exhilarated and refreshed by these experi- 
 ences, Mike and Larry at length departed for Ballynoggin, 
 where they arrived late at night, and drove straight to 
 Baleila, as he and Larry were so bandaged and swathed 
 in sticking-plaster that a daylight journey would have 
 made them doubly conspicuous. Mike hated ostentation, 
 and he rightly assumed that Larry had a soul above 
 vulgar display. 
 
 It was Mike's fate to be always misunderstood. His 
 purest motives, his gentlest deeds, his wisest designs, 
 somehow or another, took on another aspect in the eyes 
 of other people. The worst of it was that they generally 
 convinced him that they were right, and left him only 
 the reflection that everything was against him, and only 
 the consolation of imprecating bad luck on things in 
 general for the time being. 
 
 Peter looked at him long and reproachfully, sighed, 
 lifted his arms to high heaven with a gesture too deep for 
 words, and then stole sadly away to his bedroom, to bury 
 his head in the blankets and laugh until he had spasms. 
 
 Mary cried, and turned away from him, and Father 
 O'Kay admonished him with severity. 
 
 " You go to meet him," he said, " to receive him on 
 behalf of of those charged with the sacred duty of 
 shielding and sheltering him, as he lands, a stranger in 
 a strange counthry. And how do you discharge your 
 trust ? How do you justify this confidence ? Within 
 three hours of setting eyes on him you're in the thick 
 of a shindy, breaking shkulls and the law (bad cess to 
 it ! Lord, forgive me !) And within six hours you and 
 he are locked up ; and you pass the night in the police- 
 station (dhivil take it !) and you're haled and arraigned 
 
 68
 
 Mike the Omadhoun 
 
 the next morning as malefacthors and rioters and vagabonds, 
 and fined, bedad ! (And, sure, there'll soon not be a bit 
 of innocent enjoyment in this oppressed land, except for 
 them that can afford it, and then, God help the poor !) 
 Away with ye, Mike. It's an omadhoun you are, and 
 there's no mending you, I fear, until, maybe, you get a 
 thwack on the blundhering head of you that may dhrive 
 the dhivil out and the sense in and good luck to it, 
 say I." 
 
 He went offimpressively, furtively chuckling and rubbing 
 his hands : and then Mike helped Larry to unpack, and, 
 later, carried him off to see his dogs.
 
 Larry 
 
 LARRY O'GRA had to be prepared for matriculation. 
 Father O'Kay took him in hand, intending, later, to place 
 him with some friends in Dublin. He hoped to start him 
 at the ensuing term in Trinity College : the Humanities, to 
 begin with, and then either Law or Science, according as 
 the mental cat might jump. Medicine or Divinity were 
 out of the question ; and his father had said : " Anything 
 but business. He will have enough to live on, and keep 
 a family on, thank God ! Let him have a noble education 
 and live a higher life, and be a credit and a glory to the 
 O'Gras." 
 
 These aspirations were duly impressed upon Larry. 
 The glory of the O'Gras was an inspiring incentive 
 which he appreciated at its worth, though he did not 
 dwell much on it. He was at times strangely shy and 
 bashful. 
 
 Father O'Kay would have hesitated to assume the task, 
 slight as it was, in a sense ; for his classics were rusty and 
 his mathematics had never been much, and he had, in his 
 busy, self-sacrificing life, been compelled to give up 
 everything of an intellectual nature except an extremely 
 limited and entirely cramping range of subjects. But his 
 good friend, Father Blount of Kilmacartie, had very 
 cheerfully come to his help. He had had a distinguished 
 University career in Oxford, and, at one time, had been a 
 curate in the Church of England. That was some fifteen 
 or more years ago. He was an Irishman, and had been 
 Parish Priest in Kilmacartie for several years. 
 
 71
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 It was later that those events occurred which, for a 
 time, made his name so prominent and in a certain 
 connection more than renowned. Some day that stirring 
 tale may be told. 
 
 Father Blount rode over twice a week and set and heard 
 lessons, and gave and examined papers ; and Larry profited 
 and progressed, and, almost unconsciously, formed himself 
 after the model of that high-bred and well-mannered 
 gentleman. 
 
 Larry had not an idle moment for good or ill. He 
 rode, fished, shot, poached, flirted, walked, sang, trained 
 dogs and fighting cocks, played billiards in Ballynoggin, 
 and had a hundred other busy non-occupations and dis- 
 tractions with Mike as his inseparable companion, for the 
 most part. 
 
 With all this he found time to follow up his graceful 
 gift of a fine American organ to the Chapel at Baleila on 
 which he played exceedingly well, and sang, too by 
 starting the formation of a choir : and also the training 
 and teaching an organist. 
 
 There was a fisher lad whose left leg and thigh had 
 been smashed a sweet-faced, large-eyed youngster with 
 an innate Jove of music, a fine touch and remarkable 
 aptitude. Him he taught assiduously, and imposed daily 
 practice of many hours, so that, on his own departure 
 for Dublin, he might be able to officiate and, as pro- 
 ficiency came, expand into more elaborate efforts and 
 displays. The choir would grow with time and care ; 
 and he also worked at that though spasmodically, of 
 course. 
 
 Larry, with all his headlong impulsiveness, was not 
 always lacking in thoughtfulness and tact. When the 
 time was approaching for his departure to the Capital, he 
 presented Father Blount also with a good harmonium 
 
 72
 
 Larry 
 
 entering into a pleasant little conspiracy with him that its 
 arrival in the Chapel should be made a secret, and that he 
 would play and sing at High Mass on the ensuing Sunday. 
 
 It necessitated much address and scheming to carry out 
 the first portion of the understanding : but it was ac- 
 complished by the arrival of the instrument and a couple 
 of men in a cart from Ballynoggin in the dead of a 
 Saturday night, and with the connivance of Father Blount's 
 servant and the constable only both of whom vowed 
 themselves to silence. A screen had been prepared and 
 was fixed up, effectually masking the presence of the 
 harmonium. The surprise was to be unalloyed. 
 
 On this Saturday afternoon Larry and Mike arrived at 
 Kilmacartie pacing down the long, triangular road 
 through Ballynoggin, where they had happened to meet 
 a few friends. A boy old enough to be their father 
 had brought their collective hand-bag and left it with 
 Mike's aunt the saddler's widow where they were to 
 stay over night. Larry had, with a great show of 
 plausible reasoning, declined Father Blount's invitation 
 to stay with him. Besides, there was Mike. And there 
 usually was some vivacity at O'Halloran's on Saturday 
 nights. 
 
 Larry had only once before been in Kilmacartie and, as 
 he was but driving through the place, he had been almost 
 unremarked. 
 
 On the present occasion his appearance created some 
 sensation, chiefly amongst the women and children of the 
 township. 
 
 After a cup of tea at the aunt's, and a saunter about, 
 with friendly recognitions and laughing reprobations right 
 and left, Mike found himself in what was called the great 
 kitchen at O'Halloran's, with Larry beside him. That the 
 apartment had once been a kitchen was evident on all 
 
 73
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 sides ; and a great round kettle still hung over the old- 
 fashioned grate ; a tall, Dutch-oven stood in a corner, and 
 obsolete pots and pans and delf-ware on the high shelves. 
 There was also a pump near the door, and a larder which 
 was now used for empty bottles and baskets. The house 
 had once been the residence of a big corn and cattle 
 merchant. Now the front was occupied by O'Halloran's 
 grocery, and the whole of the ground floor was devoted 
 to business purposes the family living in the ample 
 rooms upstairs. 
 
 The kitchen which could easily seat about thirty 
 people was the chief bar-parlour of the place for 
 popular customers. O'Halloran had a little room on the 
 half-landing for the higher class. The kitchen called it 
 the House of Lords. The room called the other the 
 House of Commons. 
 
 When Mike and Larry drifted into the kitchen, there 
 were the usual salutations, and a little lull in the laughter 
 and chaff and chatter, due to the curiosity and surprise 
 excited by the presence of Larry. 
 
 This very soon wore away as the two young men lit 
 their pipes and mixed their punch and glided into one or 
 another of the surrounding streams of talk, or responded 
 to some dominant note of assertion or joke. 
 
 Some of the men had been drinking for many hours, 
 and all were more or less in a condition of unreasonable 
 animation or dejection, and of diverse sensibility : prone 
 to sudden rage, to easy laughter, to torrential eloquence, 
 song, argument, wit, confidence, generosity, and, above 
 and beyond all, pugnacity. 
 
 It happened that the subject of foreign cattle had been 
 broached, as to which Larry had something to say, for he 
 knew a good deal about it. 
 
 Now, it is known that not only did Larry naturally 
 
 74
 
 Larry 
 
 speak with the genuine full-throated lip-wreathed local 
 brogue, but, when excited by any cause or, as in the 
 present instance, by a combination of causes, that charm- 
 ing distinctiveness of speech became richer and still more 
 native. And what gave it even more piquancy apart 
 from the startling incongruity of the speaker's tongue and 
 appearance was that in idiom and pronunciation his 
 language was finer and more purely redolent of the 
 country-side than that of his hearers. For, whilst they, 
 at home, had been subject to change owing to influx of 
 strangers, railways, and education young O'Gra had 
 learnt to speak from his father who had left Ireland 
 nearly forty years ago. 
 
 Some of the Kilmacartians there were some dozen or 
 more present listened with interest and wonderment : 
 others talked, sang, wrangled, soliloquised or nodded. 
 One of them Jem Casey, the smith became suddenly 
 infuriated, gnashed his teeth, and asserted that the naygur 
 was mocking and insulting his country by talking like an 
 Irishman. 
 
 Nobody noticed him ; but he was alive to duty and 
 careless of fame, and he came round quietly, thinking 
 probably that he was doing good by stealth, and, " toiling 
 for fate," hit Larry, from behind, a mighty blow on the 
 head with his stick. 
 
 Mike was laughing in another direction, and Larry went 
 on talking as if quite ignorant of what had happened. 
 
 "He's hit you, sir, on the head," cried little Moran, 
 the tailor, " Shame on you, Jem Casey ! A cowardly 
 blow, and a stranger, too." 
 
 There was some commotion. Larry looked puzzled. 
 He had felt nothing. 
 
 f( Why," went on Moran, wildly. " See, there's blood 
 
 running down the side of your head " 
 
 75
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Larry felt, and then stared at the bloodstains on his 
 fingers. 
 
 Instantly his face changed : he started to his feet. 
 
 " Who has done this ? Who has dared to touch me ? " 
 cried he in a voice that terrified them. 
 
 Mike was at his side in an instant, and elderly little 
 Moran his head below Larry's shoulder on the other 
 flank, brave as fire. 
 
 The other men, intuitively perceiving a divergence of 
 sentiment merging into a conflict, also rose and, without 
 staying to parley or investigate, ranged themselves in a 
 cluster some yards away. 
 
 " Hand over the coward who did this ! " again thundered 
 Larry. 
 
 The reply was varied but incoherent. But it signified 
 refusal, derision, defiance. 
 
 Before they could realise what had happened, Larry 
 was amongst them, felling them in their crowded and 
 surprised condition, right and left, whilst Mike and 
 Moran, each with a bottle for weapon, dealt crashing 
 blows with alacrity and effectiveness. 
 
 Larry happened up against a bench. He seized it, and 
 holding it before him with his long strong arms, he 
 forced his opponents before him, not even giving them 
 the chance of striking back. 
 
 Within a very few minutes he, with his two helpers, 
 had driven them into the old larder the bottle and 
 basket depository. They contrived to close the door and 
 to hold it by sheer dead weight. 
 
 " Come out, you rascals," shouted Larry. 
 
 " Come out and be kilt, huroo ! " yelled Moran. 
 
 " Come now, don't be blushing so shy, behind the 
 door," coaxed Mike. 
 
 " Stand clear," said Larry. " I'll soon have them out 
 76
 
 Larry 
 
 of that, begorra ! " and he laughingly pointed to his 
 head. 
 
 " Oh, no need of that, Larry," answered Mike. " Sure, 
 this will do as well and comes cheaper." 
 
 He pointed to Larry's bench. The three of them took 
 hold of it, after moving a table so as to give them more 
 space ; and, making a quick short run, dashed the end 
 into the door, which gave way with a great noise. This, 
 however, was as nothing to the shouts and howls from 
 within. For some were hurt, and all astonished and 
 alarmed. 
 
 " Sure, an' it's the dhivil himself," wailed some of 
 them. 
 
 "Will you give up the coward who struck me?" 
 again demanded Larry in imperious trumpet-like tones, 
 " or shall I have to break every one of your heads ? " 
 
 " What's this ? What is the meaning of all 
 this?" 
 
 They all turned to the sound of the sweet but 
 commanding voice. 
 
 Kitty O'Halloran had entered the room, and now stood, 
 splendidly erect and handsome, with white face but with 
 blazing eyes. 
 
 Larry cast his eyes down and looked humbled and sorry. 
 Mike and Moran showed no especial contrition. 
 
 In a few words the latter explained the situation. 
 
 " He's a lion, Miss Kitty, and a gentleman, and as 
 good an Irishman as ever scattered his foes, in spite of his 
 skin-deep beauty, bedad ! " said Moran. 
 
 "Shame upon you!" said Kitty, in tones of concen- 
 trated anger and contempt, addressing the men in the 
 larder. " A dozen of you and he a stranger " 
 
 They began to excuse themselves. She turned from 
 them disdainfully. 
 
 77
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " I am so sorry, so very sorry that this has happened," 
 said Larry, with obvious sincerity and modesty. " It is 
 all a misunderstanding a mere trifle : probably my fault. 
 I was very likely indiscreet : perhaps, I had no right to 
 join in the conversation. Please, Miss O'Halloran, don't 
 distress yourself about it." 
 
 " It's all right, Kitty," observed Mike, in a persuasive 
 sort of way. 
 
 She, her face now flushed, seemed as if still listening 
 to Larry. 
 
 Larry raised his head. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said he to the enemy behind the broken- 
 down door, "if the the gentleman who, under some 
 mistaken idea that I meant anything wrong and it was a 
 mistake entirely will come and say that he's sorry, I am 
 ready to shake hands with him, and with you all : and 
 we can sit down again and have a pleasant evening, like 
 good friends." 
 
 "Ah, Kitty," whispered Mike. "That's your doing, 
 now. D'ye think he'd lose this hivenly chance of breaking 
 all their hids now, if it wasn't for you ? " 
 Kitty laughed, and blushed. 
 
 There were cries and yells from the larder. Casey 
 was dragged forward by a couple of men, and mumbled 
 his apologies. Larry laughed cheerily as he shook hands 
 with them all. Then he again begged Kitty to accept 
 his excuses, and to trouble herself no further. She bade 
 him good-night, prettily and unaffectedly, and retired 
 half envying the men who remained with him. 
 
 Larry invited them to resume their seats a pail of 
 water and a torn-up handkerchief or two having sufficed 
 to patch up damages and ordered in a supply of punch, 
 porter and tobacco; and they were all very jovial the 
 little episode just past having had a sobering and 
 
 78
 
 Larry 
 
 refining effect. They turned down the blotted folio and 
 opened a fresh one. 
 
 " What a blessed bit o' luck that no clumsy hand or 
 foot stepped on that ! " remarked Hoggarty the barber, as 
 he tenderly lifted a baize bag from a shelf and extricated 
 a fiddle and bow. 
 
 There were loud expressions of approval and of 
 anticipation. 
 
 Hoggarty tuned up, and then played one or two airs 
 in the style of the village-fair performer. When he 
 stopped, in order to drink again on the complimentary 
 challenge of his auditors, Larry reached out his hand for 
 the instrument, which its owner handed to him. 
 
 Some of the older fellows exchanged glances which 
 plainly expressed the thought that this confident young 
 man was, this time, about to venture very much beyond 
 his depth. Some of the younger men whispered that, 
 even if he could play, Hoggarty was hard to beat, and 
 he'd find his master, bedad ! 
 
 Larry examined the violin, tuned it, prepared the bow, 
 talking about one thing or another all the time. 
 
 "Play them something grand and solemn, Larry," 
 whispered Mike. " Don't be jigging or thrifling now." 
 
 Larry smiled. The men looked at him. 
 
 He pushed his chair back and began. Almost at the 
 first note they all pulled up sharply, as if electrified. 
 
 He played some sacred pieces which he thought they 
 must know, and which, in any case, he felt sure that 
 they would understand. 
 
 The sensation was intense. Most of the men were 
 awe-struck, Mike was triumphant, Moran delighted and 
 Hoggarty was frightened, when Larry paused. 
 
 " Oh, may the Mother of God and all the holy saints 
 forgive me ! " cried Hoggarty. " To think that I've had 
 
 79
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 that blessed and suffering fiddle all these years, and 
 played haythen jigs, drinking songs, and all sorts of 
 ongodly and profane nonsense on it, and me not knowing 
 it was a holy fiddle all the toime ! Oh, it's a base sinner 
 I am ! " and he smote his breast. 
 
 "You are that same, Pat Hoggarty," said two or three 
 of his friends condolingly. 
 
 " And all the toime it was crowded with the swate and 
 holy music : and it's just now been spaking in tears and 
 complainings as if its heart was bruk : and it sighs and 
 cries, and prays, like a soul long in prison standing at 
 last by an open door and in the light of hiv'n. Oh, what 
 shall I do, what shall I do ? " He wrung his hands. 
 
 Larry took up his bow, and after a short prelude, struck 
 into a grand broad-phrased Ora pro nobis, his voice ringing 
 through the room, the accompaniment tender and beautiful. 
 
 Tears stood in the eyes of Moran and Hoggarty : and 
 the others crossed themselves. 
 
 Outside the door, with blanched face and trembling 
 lip, and hands pressed to her tumultuous bosom, stood 
 Kitty, listening in a rapture of listening. 
 
 " Sir," said Hoggarty when Larry was returning the 
 violin, " you must kape it you must indade, sir. God 
 forbid that my desecrating fingers should ever touch 
 that blessed ill-used insthrument again ! But I didn't know 
 oh, I didn't know. How was I to tell of the beautiful 
 sanctified heart it had all the whoile the swateness and 
 the prayers, the worship and the melody ? And I to 
 abuse it like a pagan as I have done ! No no sir, you 
 must kape it." 
 
 "Well, Mr Hoggarty," said Larry, touched with the 
 man's simple-minded sincerity, and too delicate to wound 
 it. " But you must have another one, if I buy this of 
 
 you " 
 
 80
 
 Larry 
 
 " Oh, not a thought of buying, sir j plaze, no," pleaded 
 Hoggarty. 
 
 " Very well. But I must give you another one. How 
 much would that be, now ? " 
 
 " Well," said Hoggarty, " a good fiddle comes to a lot 
 of money a lot of money. This one, now but we 
 wont talk of that " 
 
 " Come, Mr Hoggarty," laughed Larry. " You must 
 help me a bit. I'm a stranger yet in my father's country, 
 you know." 
 
 "Well, sir, this one cost me, with one thing and 
 another, nigh on to thirty shillings." 
 
 " But you can't get one like it for that " 
 
 " Oh yes maybe, a little less." 
 
 "Now, look here, this is worth more than that more 
 than double that. I shall take your gift, and prize it. 
 And you shall buy yourself a new one, and anything else 
 you like for it's five pounds I value this at, and five 
 pounds you shall have." 
 
 Mike pressed his hand openly. 
 
 Hoggarty was surprised and delighted protesting and 
 grateful. Everybody was more or less astonished and 
 interested. 
 
 Mr O'Halloran, coming into the room discreetly after 
 the shindy, Larry adjudged the occasion to demand re- 
 plenishment of the glasses ; and that large-minded young 
 gentleman desired the former to bring in also five pounds 
 and a pen and ink wherewith to fill up the blank cheque 
 which he detached from its book. 
 
 This business was expeditiously despatched, and the 
 money handed over to Hoggarty most of the spectators 
 being greatly puzzled to understand the operation. 
 
 " O'Halloran's no fool. What did he give him all that 
 big money for ? " 
 
 F 8l
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Sorra o' me knows. Ax Mike there." 
 
 " Oh," answered Mike off-handedly. " He gave 
 O'Halloran a cheque for it." 
 
 " A quwhat?" 
 
 " Oh, an order on the bank to pay him." 
 
 " Quwhat that bit paper he wrote ? " 
 
 Yes." 
 
 " And will the bank pay bekase he writes and orders 
 them to ? " 
 
 " To be sure." 
 
 "It's what I said," exclaimed one of them. "It's the 
 dhivil, he is, begorra ! " 
 
 " Get away wid yez. Can the dhivil sing Ora pro 
 nobis?" 
 
 And so the bewilderment and the speculation went on ; 
 and they drank briskly and the hour grew late. 
 
 By ones and twos they gradually dropped away and 
 departed, until at last only Larry and Mike were left, with 
 Casey fast asleep in a chair, and another man, whom Mike 
 did not know, talking softly to himself and smiling a good 
 deal in an abstracted way. 
 
 Larry hoped that Kitty would be visible once more. 
 
 Sure enough, she came in quietly, and was about to 
 retreat when Mike brought her in to show her the breach 
 in the fort. 
 
 She had heard the playing and the singing, she said. 
 She shuddered and laughed when she saw the broken 
 larder door and recalled the damaged besieged when they 
 emerged on Larry's proclamation of amnesty and peace. 
 And she once more waxed indignant when she recognised 
 Casey in the sleeping man. 
 
 "The low mane thafe of him," she said, " for him to 
 talk of complexions. Why," she turned to the two young 
 men with sparkling eyes, as one suddenly inspired. " Why, 
 
 82
 
 Larry 
 
 it would serve him right " she lowered her voice " if 
 his face and hands was to be made really black, and him 
 put like that into his house, and roaring Moll Casey to 
 see him in the morning for it's asleep the woman is now 
 and he not knowing a mortal thing about it." 
 
 "Kitty," exclaimed Mike, slapping his knee, "you're 
 a pretty little dhivil and had ought to be a man, bedad ! " 
 
 She heard him, but her glowing eyes were fixed on 
 Larry. 
 
 " Yes," laughed he, " Mike is right. Miss O'Halloran, 
 you're an angel," added he, enthusiastically. 
 
 " Get him away," she whispered, with a motion of her 
 head towards the man who kept on addressing the toes 
 of his boots in an endless monotone, and smiling to himself 
 in a secretive way. 
 
 "Who is he at all, at all? I misremember seeing 
 him before." 
 
 " Faith ! Mike, and it's meself is ignorant. I've seen 
 him about : he looks like an old sojer." 
 
 " Well," answered Mike, " we'll just be afther shifting 
 him out of this, and he maybe will wander to where he 
 does be belonging and small matter if he don't." 
 
 He and Larry approached the quiet rhetorician. 
 
 " Seems to me," said Larry, " that the man's had a 
 sunstroke : I've seen such cases and a little drink " 
 
 " Sunstroke ! " cried Mike, " sure an' he looks that it 
 would take all that to get anything bright into the hid of 
 him, anyway, though it's all moonshine he's for iver an' 
 iver repating. Hear to him, now." 
 
 They listened. 
 
 " for it stands to rayson," the man was saying in 
 
 a quiet, grave, scholastic voice, "because, you see, it was 
 not the same level on every side, and in consequence it 
 happened just that way, being too straight on the east 
 
 83
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and so slanting the other way on the west ; for it stands 
 
 to rayson, because " the same rigmarole over and 
 
 over again. 
 
 They took him each by an arm, and he, without alacrity 
 but also without resistance or difficulty, walked out with 
 them into the dark night, still discoursing. They conducted 
 him a hundred yards or so down the silent, unlighted, in- 
 formal street or, rather, irregular sort of square which, 
 with some breaks and alleys formed the township every 
 house being, for the most part, built at the angle which 
 seemed good to the builder : so that fronts, sides, and 
 backs looked at each other in a scattered area, and streets 
 seemed to begin, or to end, in an inconsequential and 
 inconsecutive manner. 
 
 They left him arguing out with himself some other 
 thesis all in that equable tone, and with every indication 
 that he not only convinced himself, but also extracted 
 pleasure by the sparks of argument and wit which 
 illumined his addresses. 
 
 They propped him against a wall and left him enunciat- 
 ing that it stands to reason, because, don't you see, the 
 papers said that no time was lost, and that was why 
 people often don't find time to do things, because it 
 stands to reason and so on, until some other physical 
 jolt should change the subject. 
 
 On their return to the kitchen, Kitty was not to be seen, 
 but a great basin, full of some very dark mixture, stood 
 meaningly beside Jem Casey's sleeping head, and a piece 
 of sponge alongside explained its function and almost 
 urged its aid. 
 
 Not that any special persuasion was at all necessary. 
 
 "Blacking," said Mike, "all ready, too. Isn't she a 
 darlint, now, Larry ? " 
 
 " A darling, a darling a sweet, beautiful, clever
 
 Larry 
 
 darling the darlingest darling in all the big wide world 
 sweet Kitty O'Halloran ! " said Larry or rather, sang 
 he, ecstatically. 
 
 And, for once, a listener heard something very pleasant 
 about herself. 
 
 They took Casey anatomically and thoroughly in hand. 
 There was not the space of a dot which was left unblacked 
 from the crown of his bullet-head to well down his bull 
 neck. His hands and arms were equally treated. 
 
 Larry, who was no mean artist, added a few touches of 
 realism in the broad white lines underneath the eyes and 
 around the mouth. 
 
 They stepped back to gather in the full effect of the 
 disguisement, and were well pleased. 
 
 " Oh, if Kitty could only see him now," sighed Mike. 
 
 "Loosen his boots, and take them off when you put 
 him very quietly into his house," said Kitty's voice in a 
 loud whisper from somewhere. They could not see her. 
 
 She declined the entreaty to show herself. 
 
 " And," continued she, " take him out by the side door. 
 I've opened it. It's just along the lane at the back where 
 his smithy is, and he lives beside it. You'll find the door 
 open. Don't come back. Good night, Mike. Good 
 night to to both of you." 
 
 They followed her directions, and as they passed 
 through the side-door, the smith held up between them, 
 they heard a low musical laugh, and knew that Kitty was 
 watching them, and enjoying the fun. 
 
 " Ah, Kitty, you pretty little dhivil," repeated Mike. 
 
 " Ah, Kitty you you angel ! " said Larry softly. 
 
 " Good night, Kitty." 
 
 " Good night, Mike." 
 
 " Good night, Miss O'Hal good night, Kitty." 
 
 " Good night, L Larry ; Sir, I mane." 
 
 85
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 They lifted the latch of Jem Casey's cottage, where- 
 upon a combination of odours, which seemed to have 
 conspired together for aggression, rushed at them and 
 nearly upset them. The onslaught was supported by a 
 thunderous sound the gentle accompaniment to Mrs 
 Casey's balmy slumber. 
 
 They noiselessly inserted him into his little house, 
 placed his boots behind the door, took off his coat and 
 loosened his cravet-less and collar-less neckband, and took 
 an informal leave of him, as he by some instinct feeling 
 himself at home tiptoed his way towards his lady's snore. 
 
 They walked demurely to their quarters, but deflected 
 their course for a voice which they seemed to recognise 
 and to which they gravitated. 
 
 " For it stands to ray son," the voice was saying, in a 
 calm, dogmatic tone, "because, don't you see, when a 
 man's made up his mind, what's he to do ? He's nothing 
 left to go on with, barring it's like a coat and he can turn 
 it and have it made up on the other side. There's no help 
 for it. If a man will make up his mind he must turn his 
 coat. It stands to rayson, because " and so forth again. 
 
 They could get nothing from him as to who he was, or 
 where he lived, or whom he knew. 
 
 "Larry," said Mike, in his friend's ear, "I remember 
 now. This is the man I bruk my bottle over the head of. 
 Sure, an' it's all clare to me now. I've mhoidered him a 
 bit, I'm afther thinking. Here's what we'll do. Round 
 here is Jerry Macnamara's stable where many's the 
 toime I've put up. I know the trick of the door none 
 better. We'll get him in there. I'll shake down a whisp 
 o' clane straw. He'll slape, or talk, or smile or all the 
 lot together at the same time dhivil a bit it matters which 
 and I'll put him undher the pump in the morning." 
 
 So said, so done : and at length, the two of them laid 
 
 86
 
 Larry 
 
 their busy careless heads on their pillows and went in- 
 stantaneously to sleep Mike to dream of fights and dogs 
 and dodgeries ; and Larry to dream of Kitty. 
 
 The next morning opened on as fair a Sunday as any 
 that ever smiled in the West of Ireland, and the two young 
 fellows were astir in good time. Larry had to make a 
 careful toilet, for Father Blount was to call upon him for 
 an early visit to the Chapel, with some music that the 
 former had brought, and to try the harmonium and make 
 various arrangements for the High Mass. 
 
 He was also to breakfast with the priest. 
 
 Mike went to look up the strange man. 
 
 He found him sitting on an inverted pail, in front of the 
 stable, a horse-cloth over his shoulders, and a straw in his 
 hand. 
 
 " It stands to rayson," he was saying, in the same low, 
 confidential tone of voice, "because, don't you see, a man 
 may forget himself but he can't very easily mislay himself. 
 I say very easily, for some things are hard to explain. 
 This straw, now ; it will tell you the way the wind blows, 
 and a Christian can't do it, barring he's been to say, or 
 been larnt it ; for it stands to rayson, because " 
 
 " Oh, come out of that," said Mike roughly but not 
 unkindly, because the bottle incident was a natural link 
 of friendliness between them : then he tried to get some 
 information from him. In this he again failed ; so he 
 pushed him off the pail, filled it with water, found the 
 stable sponge, and, making the man get on his knees, he 
 bathed his head and neck vigorously and perseveringly for 
 a long time. 
 
 The method was simple but effective. 
 
 When he helped the subject on to his feet, he the 
 subject shook himself, rubbed his damp brow, laughed 
 loudly, and said : 
 
 87
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " It stands to ray son. If I'm Donovan, what am I 
 doing in Macnamara's stable ? And if I'm Macnamara, 
 what do I be throubling the head of me about Donovan's 
 affairs ? Now, it stands to " 
 
 " Are you Donovan Jim Donovan's brother?" asked 
 Mike. 
 
 " Yes, sir," was the smart reply. 
 
 " Now," said Mike, cleverly. " Attention ! Right 
 turn ! Quick march ! " 
 
 The man went off briskly and erect laughing to 
 himself as he said something of which Mike caught 
 only the words : 
 
 " And so, the wind may blow all the straws to 
 smithereens, and the dhivil may fly away with Macnamara ! 
 For it's Donovan I am, all the time. Donovan, aboo ! " 
 
 He had barely turned the corner of an adjacent shed 
 when Mike heard loud screams and shouts. 
 
 He was, naturally, about to rush forward and ascertain 
 the cause of the startling sounds, when the cries of " the 
 naygur, the naygur," caused him to retreat quickly into 
 the stable, whence he could look out with safety. 
 
 The uproar increased, and in a minute or two, a wild 
 figure rushed past, chased by half-dressed men, women, 
 and children. 
 
 Mike recognised Jem Casey, black of face, frightful of 
 eyes and mouth, without hat, coat, or boots. 
 
 " It will be the tearing fun in a few minutes from this," 
 said Mike to himself " but it would be murdher, dhivil a 
 turn less, if I show myself just now." 
 
 So he lay low. 
 
 Presently, he heard yells and howls of a highly 
 exhilarating nature, and peeped out. Casey had been 
 caught the capture having cost all parties dearly, to 
 judge from appearances.
 
 Larry 
 
 " For the love of hiv'n give me a dhrink o' wather," 
 begged Casey. "I'm fit to dhrop." 
 
 He had apparently seen the pail, which Mike had left 
 standing. 
 
 Somebody brought him a drink. 
 
 " Let me sit down a minit." 
 
 The pail was once more inverted and he sat down. 
 
 " Oh, may all the saints above have pity on me ! " 
 he sighed. "If I am Jem Casey, then it's a judgment 
 has been sent on me for mocking that naygur as isn't a 
 naygur at all, last night. And if I'm not Jem Casey 
 then then I've been afther making mighty free wid 
 his house and his his belongings. Oh lor, oh lor, oh 
 lor ! " 
 
 Just then Father Blount and Larry came along, in 
 spick-span sedateness. 
 
 "What's all this? what's all this? Haven't you had 
 time to sleep off your dirty debauch, but you must shame 
 the very sun on this Sunday morning ? " said the priest, 
 severely. 
 
 Larry looked as innocent and ignorant as a battered old 
 barrister converted into a new judge. 
 
 Mike came out, said a word or two, which caused a 
 general laugh ; then the helpless Casey was locked into 
 the stable and the rest went through the short alley into 
 the " place " the street, square, or whatever it was, that 
 really formed Kilmacartie the site of its market, cross, 
 well, chapel, and the few places of business that it 
 possessed. 
 
 There sat and moaned Mrs Casey her superabundant 
 figure picturesquely but sparsely clad and with her all 
 the matrons of the township, condoling loudly : and all 
 the spinsters apart, whispering and tittering ; and all the 
 children wondering, shouting, crying ; and all the men
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 who had not joined in the pursuit, talking, gesticulating, 
 swearing, vowing vengeance and breathing slow torture. 
 
 It was a din of voices, lamentations, tears, oaths, 
 comfortings, threatenings, low laughs ; the women all 
 sympathetic, from different standpoints ; the men all 
 furious, ferocious, from one only. 
 
 " Go you on to the chapel, you two," Father Blount 
 had said to Mike and Larry before they emerged on the 
 public place : and the young men made their way round, 
 and entered the Chapel unseen, by the priests' door. 
 
 The moment Father Blount showed himself the clamour 
 broke out with redoubled volume. He listened without a 
 word. Then he raised his hand for silence. 
 
 " Bring him forward." 
 
 In a few minutes Jem Casey was led up, looking very 
 dismal and abject. 
 
 Terrific howls met him : there were cries for summary 
 execution. 
 
 " Somebody, bring a bucket of hot water and some 
 soap." 
 
 " Och, it's a miracle the holy man's afther going to 
 commit," went the round. 
 
 " Now, one of you women " 
 
 "Sure, your Reverence, you would'nt expect us to 
 
 touch him now " expostulated some of the women, 
 
 laughing or aghast, according to their respective humour. 
 
 "No, no. One of the men will do. Now, take this 
 soap, lather him well, and scrub him manfully." 
 
 They crowded round to see the process to many a 
 novel one. 
 
 " Now, Mistress Casey, what do you say now ? Is your 
 mind the easier ? Though it does you credit to be so 
 sensitive, and long may you all continue to prize your 
 honour, which is your glory, too." 
 
 90
 
 Larry 
 
 But few heard this little homily, for as Casey grew 
 distinct under the scouring, his wife seized him, dealt 
 him several crashing blows, and chased him home he 
 speeding like a hare, and she following like a steam-roller, 
 screaming that he had shamed her, the villin and deceived 
 her, besides. Shrieks of laughter, gibes, jeers and jokes, 
 resounded on all sides : songs were started, and cheers for 
 the priest. 
 
 From the windows of the houses around came also 
 laughter and witty interchange of remarks with those 
 below and Kitty was of the most delighted, as well 
 as delightful there. She saw everything but made no 
 other observation. 
 
 Then once more Father Blount raised his hand, and, 
 instantly, silence followed. 
 
 " Come, all of you. The bell will be going soon for 
 High Mass. I shall expect you all all of you : and this 
 day you will be especially glad you've come." 
 
 He we'nt on his way chapelward, leaving his people to 
 wonder at his meaning. 
 
 Kitty was not the only worshipper in the crowded 
 chapel who looked round for Larry. Mike was there 
 but where was Larry ? They all remarked the screen 
 but suspected nothing. 
 
 They were soon to know. 
 
 After the Introit there was a pause. 
 
 Before anyone could begin to think why, a sound came 
 along as of the distant sea when the far-away ebb begins 
 to turn ; then, as of sighing winds gathering strength in 
 the tree-tops, then as a voice a cry, an appeal followed 
 by rolling thunder, as if the storm-clouds hailed the roar- 
 ing surfs ; then, as if light broke through and heavenly 
 voices sang together, came beautiful melodies, soft and 
 sweet, and grand harmonies as if drums were beating and 
 
 9 1
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 banners rattling in the quick hearts and ears of the 
 hearers : melting, changing, rising to entreaty, praise, 
 triumph, joy. 
 
 The men sat with pale or flushing faces, and the 
 women with clasped hands, red and pale in swift alter- 
 nation: the children, wide-eyed, wondering, half-frightened 
 and delighted. Kitty was "breathless with adoration" 
 and with a new delicious ache at her heart, for she in- 
 tuitively perceived why Larry was not visible. 
 
 Later in the service the screen of silk, on a short, 
 brass rail hinged to the wall was folded back, and 
 Larry stood up, beside the now disclosed instrument, and 
 sang the Benedictus, the Credo, and a hymn, and then 
 after one sweep of his fine dark eyes Kitty noticed that 
 they lit up as they encountered her's, and that a smile for 
 a brief fraction of an instant hovered on his face he closed 
 them until he had finished. 
 
 Beautifully he sang, the Chapel just suiting his voice : 
 and he looked striking and well his tall figure in the 
 white cassock, and the light shining on the smooth 
 wavelets of his hair. 
 
 Father Blount in his address made grateful allusion to 
 Larry and his generous offering ; and to his fine gifts of 
 voice and hand. He announced that the young gentleman, 
 who had come from across the far seas to the land of 
 his fathers, and had shown them that in heart and worship 
 distance had no power to separate, intended to add to 
 the obligation under which he had already laid them, by 
 starting a choir, for which purpose all the boys were to 
 assemble in the afternoon and be tried for their fitness. 
 As to an organist well, that will not be forgotten : and 
 God be thanked for every good and kind thing that He 
 puts it into the heart of anyone to do for His glory and 
 service as well as for help to men ! 
 
 92
 
 Larry 
 
 A spirited voluntary was designed to play the people 
 out but no one moved. At last, they all stood about 
 outside, as if with one accord to see Larry come out. 
 
 When he did so, every hat went off, the women 
 curtseyed, and children timidly touched him. He ex- 
 changed smiles and greetings with those he knew, making 
 Hoggarty and Moran feel like princes at being accosted as 
 " Mister Hoggarty" and " Mister Moran" the only men 
 there whom he so distinguished. 
 
 Kitty was proud and radiant, withdrawing herself un- 
 obtrusively behind her mother's ample flank. 
 
 Irish vivacity must rebound from seriousness or tension 
 of any kind. 
 
 " Quwhat do ye say now, roaring Moll Casey ? " cried 
 a bantering voice. There was a storm of laughter. 
 
 " Och ! thin, an' it's sorry she is " somebody answered 
 
 quickly j but other cries interrupted. 
 
 " Troth, she wouldn't have " 
 
 " Maybe " 
 
 " Ah, thin, lave her alone. It's pitying her you 
 
 should " 
 
 " Hush here comes his Reverence," and there was 
 quiet for half a minute. 
 
 "Come again, sorr; come to us again, and sing and 
 play, if ye plaze, sorr," said Moran earnestly. " Sure, 
 you've made the dear chapel alive with colour, sorr, 
 from this out," which was a fine thought touching the 
 prismatic suggestiveness or effect of music. 
 
 " Aye," cried a cheery-faced but toothless old woman, 
 " Lord bless your noble face ! Sure, it's like a grand 
 sunrise it is, wid yer eyes, an' yer voice, an' the soft 
 silver spache of ye. Swate Kitty O'Halloran, bid him 
 come again to us ! We're poor folk, but we know them 
 we love and he'll come if you axe him, darlint." 
 
 93
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 All the women concurred unfalteringly. Some instinct, 
 not apprehended of men, must instruct them. 
 
 Now, had Kitty been an English or conventional 
 maiden, she would have been exceedingly embarrassed. 
 
 But, whilst her colour took on a deeper tone and her 
 eyes a brighter light, she remained unaffectedly natural, 
 quick-witted, and charmingly tactful. 
 
 With a smile, and without any hesitation, she approached 
 and dropped him a pretty curtsey. 
 
 "Please, will you come soon and sing and play to us 
 again, Mr Larry ? Indade, we shall be so thankful and 
 glad if you will, now," said she persuasively. 
 
 From the moment she began to speak he uncovered 
 his head, with the grace and dignity of a hidalgo, and 
 remained so uncovered. He promised, with a smile, and 
 he was thanked with a rousing cheer. 
 
 " Ah ! " mused Mike, who kept an observant eye on 
 everything, as he was arranging with a man he knew 
 concerning some furtive netting. 
 
 "Ah, O'Halloran, rich man as you are, by all accounts, 
 it's the mighty good luck that's coming to you, for it's a 
 piebald father-in-law ye'll be, before you're done, or I'll 
 swallow the dear pair of 'em bedad ! More pow'r to 
 'em ! Larry aboo, aboo ! " 
 
 94
 
 In Wax 
 
 MOTTLEBOY'S Waxworks less briefly designated by him 
 The Royal and Universal Galleries of History and Galaxy 
 of Fame was working down the West of Ireland. 
 
 The disturbed condition of that part of the country 
 developed a cheerfulness amongst the inhabitants which 
 predisposed them to additional diversions. It was, too, 
 but natural that the unrest begotten by frequent demon- 
 strations, meetings, eviction scenes, and other manifesta- 
 tions, should crave for variety, Besides, distress deserves 
 an occasional treat ; and ruin is apt to be spendthrift. 
 Political excitement, irregular combinations, and agrarian 
 unpleasantnesses were always with them ; but Waxworks 
 and Circuses were rare. 
 
 Mottleboy was a good man of business, and he was 
 doing well. It is true that the prices of admission were 
 reduced, but then fodder and living were cheap, casual 
 labour cost him next to nothing, and other expenses were 
 also less. 
 
 Much of his present prosperity was due to his son, Joe. 
 That young man was a fairly good modeller, and had a 
 quick dramatic and commercial instinct, with much tact, 
 originality and enterprise; and, although an Englishman, 
 he had the further advantage of a head which was proof 
 to almost any unreasonable quantity of whisky. He acted 
 also as the advance agent. 
 
 When Joe arrived at Ballynoggin he found that town in 
 a state of violent ebullition and delight. Lawyer Kennada 
 had just returned from London and Dublin with the 
 
 95
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Governmental consent to grant a large sum for the con- 
 struction of drydocks (which were not wanted) at a point 
 (which was conspicuously unsuitable), and on easy terms 
 of repayment as to a portion of the amount (which it was 
 no man's, woman's, or child's notion to observe, even to 
 the extent of the nominal interest). 
 
 This brilliant success for it was, in effect, all found 
 money, to be spent in the town at once made Kennada 
 a hero, a benefactor, and a patriot of a practical type. 
 The local papers rang with his praises, and Ballynoggin 
 set about the organising of a public holiday, a torch-light 
 serenade, and a banquet. An emergency meeting of the 
 Town Council forthwith changed the name of a recently 
 re-christened street from Lefevre Row to Kennada 
 Avenue. 
 
 Joe saw his opportunity. The great man consented to 
 have his portrait figure added to the Galaxy of Fame, and 
 gave him the requisite sittings. He was also induced to 
 transfer to him some of his easily-recognisable and charac- 
 teristic articles of apparel, for Joe had explained that it 
 was the invariable rule of the establishment to make its 
 own subjects and to pay for all its objects. Mr Kennada 
 thought it a sensible rule, and duly receipted the bill, 
 which Joe who knew what he was about, though the 
 other did not think so made a liberal one. 
 
 Sensational posters, advertisements, and newspaper 
 articles prepared the world of Ballynoggin and the sur- 
 rounding townships and villages for the appearance of the 
 Waxworks and its latest illustrious addition for the ac- 
 commodation of whose head that of Isaac Butt had been 
 temporarily taken off. 
 
 Mottleboy's entry into Ballynoggin was magnificent 
 beyond any precedent. 
 
 On a special car, in a splendour of new paint, gilding 
 
 96
 
 In Wax 
 
 and bunting, was exposed a group representing Lawyer 
 Kennada, before whom knelt the emblematic figure of 
 Ballynoggin (she was Joan of Arc in ordinary waxwork 
 life) supporting a cornucopia, whilst Erin with a harp 
 (Sappho in cirenean reality, though sometimes performing as 
 Apollo by the simple substitution of a more succinct petti- 
 coat and a curly wig) held a laurel crown over his head. 
 
 Half a dozen Societies, Leagues, and Brotherhoods had 
 gone with their bands to meet the Galaxy, and the im- 
 posing procession into and through the town kindled 
 unbounded enthusiasm and thirst. 
 
 And, indeed, it was not to be wondered at. Not only 
 was Kennada's likeness a good one with the strong 
 mouth, blank gable of upper lip, abrupt islet of nose, 
 sunken eyes, precipitous brows, and wild black hair 
 but the accessories were perfect enough to convince an 
 ophthalmic hospital at long range. For who else in the 
 entire county had a head and hat so big, or lived behind a 
 five-barred waistcoat, as if in perpetual custody to him- 
 self? Or who could mistake that straining coat which 
 was eighteen inches scant of width for his ample chest, or 
 those lower-storey habits with the conscientious detail of 
 the hiatus to the tops of boots as phenomenal as his hat ? 
 
 Mottleboy's pitch was in the centre of the town, and 
 the public-spirited Council remitted the usual fees and 
 rents. He, of course, dined the Municipal Body in the 
 aggregate, and drank them unremittingly and informally 
 in, and to, their individual capacity that is, most of them. 
 
 The versatile Joe had too good a sense of expediency 
 and proportion to let one feature of the show be neutralised 
 by another. He had promptly locked away the old cata- 
 logues and set himself to adapt the Galaxy to the tastes of 
 the places through which it passed. Local colour was an 
 easy matter ; and everybody knows that in a historical 
 G 97
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 collection, even when it displays contemporaneous cele- 
 brities, a correct resemblance is not so much a consideration 
 as a correct label. 
 
 The Royal Family had to be suppressed, naturally. A 
 few touches evolved Daniel O'Connel out of what had 
 been Norman Macleod in Scotland and Sir William 
 Harcourt in England,. With a change of drapery and some 
 minor properties, Garibaldi was transformed into Malachi 
 of the Golden Collar, and Sir Wilfrid Lawson into St 
 Patrick. To convert Voltaire into Grattan and Lord John 
 Russell into Shiel was but to change the ticket ; and Pigott 
 in the act of forging his confession of forgery was a 
 transition from Darwin that required the nomenclature 
 only ; and so on of many other changes, mostly of an 
 antithetical nature. 
 
 But Joe was equal to the nice discrimination which 
 was necessary to marshal the political notabilities of 
 the moment, according to their popularity or unpopularity 
 which, he was aware, were varying and interchangeable 
 terms. He not only secured a fair average balance but 
 even a redundancy of favour : the happy mean leant heavily 
 to the right side. 
 
 When the Mottleboys eventually left the town, after a 
 stay of so many weeks as they had, originally, contemplated 
 days, it was in a whirl of glory and friendliness their 
 cattle sleek, their staff full of liquor, and their funds very 
 substantially augmented. 
 
 After a few trifling pitches and some long journeyings 
 the caravan found itself at a halt some miles from Knock- 
 mabouchal, and Joe rode forward to make the necessary 
 arrangements for site, publicity, patronage, and the usual 
 work of an alert advance agent. 
 
 He soon found that he had ridden far out of the radius 
 and reach of the Kennada worship, and, as if into another
 
 In Wax 
 
 world, entered a region of bitter and baffled hostility to 
 him and to everything appertaining to Ballynoggin. 
 
 For years Knockmabouchal had vainly sought to obtain 
 Government approval which meant all the necessary 
 capital of its wishes and plans for the creation of a 
 harbour, for which its natural advantages were certainly 
 equal to those of the other town. It was now in a ferment 
 of discontent, and its feelings of exasperated disappoint- 
 ment were fittingly expressed by its small but vigorous 
 journals, and by uncontrollable meetings which passed 
 steep-adjectived resolutions of remonstrance and wrath. 
 
 As is ever the case, the crisis produced the man 
 Lawyer O'Toole came to the front. He announced him- 
 self ready to oppose that supine idiot or double-dyed 
 traitor, their member ; and even to go to London, at his 
 own expense, to expose the criminal devices and deceptions 
 which had frustrated the legitimate aspirations of his town, 
 and so fatuously and corruptly acceded to those of Bally- 
 noggin. 
 
 As to Lawyer Kennada, the mere mention of his name 
 provoked explosions of almost speechless rage. New 
 words of contumely had to be coined, new curses had to be 
 combined, new similes of deadly insult had to be invented 
 for him. There was not a circumstance of his life, nor any 
 fact or fiction affecting his family for some generations 
 back, but it was exhumed, exaggerated, blackened, derided, 
 gloated over, and held to prove how much he was below 
 the moral level of the lowest helot of the most degraded 
 camp-follower in all the hosts of Satan. 
 
 Joe whistled softly when he learnt the state of public 
 feeling and opinion, as they were told him over a glass or 
 two, or three or, maybe, a dozen or so with wonderful 
 unanimity and fire. 
 
 He became sure of two things : that if Kennada were 
 
 99
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 exhibited the Galaxy would be wrecked, and that if 
 O'Toole were put in his place there would be a furore 
 of pleasure and sixpences. 
 
 That same evening he had arranged everything satis- 
 factorily even to the clothes and mould of the face of 
 the champion who had stood up so stoutly for the rights, 
 and, what still more conduced to support and renown, the 
 wrongs of Knockmabouchal. 
 
 The other needful preliminaries were seen to with a 
 completeness due to the experiences in the other town ; 
 and when the bands and banners marched out to meet the 
 procession, they turned and escorted back into the market 
 place, at the end of the long line of gorgeous and other 
 vehicles, the self-same car on which now stood the O'Toole 
 in a noble attitude the figure, and even the wax of the 
 countenance, having been Kennada's. 
 
 Nothing had been omitted to cast into the group the 
 tragic enunciation of Knockmabouchal's defiance, disdain, 
 and a distress just stopped-short of despair. 
 
 Behind the stalwart champion hovered Erin (late 
 Charlotte Corday) with a green sash and streaming hair, 
 her eyes raised upwards in upbraiding appeal, and Sappho's 
 lute in her hand with the strings significantly relaxed ; 
 whilst at his feet was a cherub holding on to a large 
 anchor, wreathed with shamrocks and ivy, to body forth 
 the deathless sentiment of Hope. 
 
 The chubby little fellow was actually Cupid, requisi- 
 tioned from the side of Venus, who, in a snowy shell, an 
 emerald frock, and a star on her brow, for the time being 
 symbolised Young Ireland, the new Gem of the Sea. 
 
 The local papers were jubilant, poetic and deeply 
 aggravating. The deposition of Kennada and the pre- 
 sentment of O'Toole were such salve to the editors' 
 hearts that they rubbed it in in language designedly 
 
 loo
 
 In Wax 
 
 calculated to raise the blood of Ballynoggin to fervent 
 heat. 
 
 This was all right for the Mottleboys. They were 
 not likely to be that way again for years, if ever. What 
 though "the grass never grows where once the hoof of 
 the Osmanli's charger has trod"; the meadow was 
 green and the herb succulent during the sojourn. The 
 money came in merrily, and that was good enough 
 whilst it lasted. 
 
 But their complacency, as might, indeed, have been 
 divined from the very fulness of its measure, was nearing 
 its end. It was as the ominous calm of the tightened 
 river just before it bends over the edge of the cataract. 
 Man, by some ordinance or sport of fate, is often thus 
 lulled and lapped in moods of pleasant content, and dreams 
 of remoteness of peril, and seeming assurance of fixedness 
 of serenity, so that the impending bolt from the blue 
 shall strike him before he can stretch out to take in a 
 reef or even handle a sheet. 
 
 Mr Mottleboy and his son were at breakfast one 
 morning in excellent humour, felicitating themselves on 
 having struck a fine vein of human vanity and popular 
 folly, and discussing developments. 
 
 " Yes, Joe," his father was saying, " that 'its 'em. 
 Tell you what it is. There ain't no bully politicians has 
 'arf our hart and knowingness in gauging to a nicety 
 the strenth and lenth of a person's popularity, whether 
 it's a general or a horator, or a murderer, or a nero. As 
 to the public ho ! ho ! ho ! the public ! " 
 
 "No doubt," said Joe quietly. "Idols are conceited, 
 and idolaters are fickle. That's true enough." 
 
 Just then a visitor walked in and served Mottleboy 
 with a writ at the suit of Kennada, who claimed 10,000 
 damages for libel and slander, and as solatium for the 
 
 101
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 suppression, removal, destruction or otherwise of his 
 portrait figure, and for the non - continued exhibition 
 thereof. 
 
 They had scarcely time to realise this extraordinary de- 
 mand, before another myrmidon from Ballynoggin arrived 
 to serve upon him an office copy of an Order of Injunction, 
 obtained ex parte, to restrain him from ceasing to exhibit 
 Kennada. 
 
 And when they were leaving O'Toole's office, after a 
 short consultation, the Sheriff met them and gave Mottle- 
 boy written notice that he had been " ruled" to prevent 
 the removal of the caravan, as he was an undomiciled 
 foreigner, unless he first gave security to the satisfaction 
 of the Court. 
 
 Kennada was obviously a man of energy. O'Toole was 
 ecstatic for personal, professional and patriotic reasons. 
 The Mottleboys were dazed and stupefied. 
 
 Never had such an action been heard of. People had 
 objected to be exhibited ; but to claim heavy damages 
 for not being exhibited was astounding, out of Ireland, 
 as Joe said. 
 
 "Joe," said Mottleboy, later, "look 'ere. I ain't going 
 to give no bully security j and I ain't going to commit 
 no contemp' of court for not keeping on shewing that 
 bounder, which I wouldn't do even if I 'ad 'im ; and I 
 ain't going for to worry and ruin myself in law, neither ; 
 no, nor yet play their game, nor shew no white feather. 
 Tell you what we'll do. You cut across 'ome with the 
 money there's over fourteen hundred and sixty (I'll keep 
 the hodd sixty) and 'and it over to mother. She'll know 
 what to do with it. It's her business, you know, and 
 we're only her lessees see ? though we're not going 
 to let that out here, at present." 
 
 Joe looked doubtful. 
 
 102
 
 In Wax 
 
 " It's all right, Joe," said his father. " Why, wasn't 
 there the Will and the probate and the legacy to her 
 as I was getting into Queer Street ? You needn't smile 
 like that, Joe. She weren't no effigy as made that Will, 
 but your own arnt who'd been dying for years in my 
 'ouse. The Will was as real as the money, and I can 
 hanswer for that, for I found every penny of it. Very 
 well. You do that. I'll sell the 'osses, discharge the 
 'ands, lay the Galaxy up in lavender, and take it heasy. 
 That's the halgebra, my son. Maybe I'll think of some 
 ways to keep things lively and profitable. Anyways, 
 we'll 'ave things safe." 
 
 He rose to the occasion, and, his indignant surprise over, 
 he was now savagely cheerful. 
 
 Joe concurred with him. 
 
 Within an hour the horses were sold and the money 
 received. 
 
 " That's all right," said he. " There was nothing said 
 about selling, and the Sheriff would 'ave 'ad to feed 'em. 
 And we're entitled to live, you know, especially as they 
 stop the Show and call us foreigners. Now, what are you 
 a-rumblimating of, Joe ? " 
 
 "Well, father," answered he, "what with the state of 
 feeling here against Kennada, and as this is all his doing, 
 it seems to me that we should turn it to account. Nothing 
 goes down in Ireland like being martyrs, you know, right 
 or wrong." 
 
 " That's so, Joe, that's so. Rum lot. Full of senti- 
 ment and fury ; and the one is always a-running into the 
 other. But, what's the idear?" 
 
 "Why," said Joe, "bill the town and tell what's 
 happened. Get the mayor to call an Indignation Meeting : 
 they're always good for that. Hoist a black flag, play the 
 Dead March, get black calico and cover up all the figures 
 
 103
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 in mourning. Then, keep the band together, and give 
 concerts. Concerts, mind, not shows. Run the thing for 
 all it's worth. I shall be back in three or four days, and 
 perhaps bring some gymnasts, conjurors, freaks or what 
 not. We can then move about while leaving the Galaxy 
 here. We can always get a hall, a barn, or a big room 
 almost anywhere." 
 
 " Good boy," said his father admiringly. 
 
 " Father," went on Joe, with increasing animation, 
 " we're going to boom this calamity. It's the best 
 advertisement we ever had. That Ballynoggin affair is 
 a political job, and we'll get ourselves tacked on to the 
 discussions and fightings : perhaps, we may even get 
 ourselves mentioned in Parliament. Why, by George ! 
 we might have played up for it." 
 
 " Yes, Joe," replied his father, beamingly, " I see it, 
 I see it now. What an 'ed you have." 
 
 " Besides," resumed Joe, " we haven't lost yet. We 
 may win, though this is Ireland, and perhaps who knows 
 get costs, and all the advantage of the publicity thrown 
 in. And look here, father, don't pay the band. Tell 
 them that law proceedings have broken you up. I'll lend 
 them money up to their wages. They'll owe that to me, 
 and the wages you'll owe to them. So they can hold on 
 to their instruments, whatever happens." 
 
 " Right, Joe, right," nodded Mottleboy. 
 
 " Keep a sharp look-out for O'Toole," pursued Joe, 
 " Kennada is only making big mouths at us, but O'Toole, 
 being here, will swallow us bit by bit if he has half a 
 chance. Keep him dark, and short by the head, and 
 never write any mortal thing for him, not even your name 
 to an affidavit, while I'm away." 
 
 So they quietly took in sail and altered their course in 
 a cool and business-like way. 
 
 104
 
 Knockmabouchal was stirred to its depths by the tale 
 of odious persecution and audacious rapacity and, to a man, 
 took ardent sides with Mottleboy. 
 
 There were demonstrations and meetings. The Mayor 
 gave a conversazione in the Galaxy Marquee which netted 
 over 30. This was followed by a Benefit for Mottleboy, 
 at which many fervid orators declaimed to a packed, and 
 paying, audience ; and that was succeeded by instrumental 
 concerts by the band. There were also collections for the 
 Defence ; and if any were at first disinclined to contribute 
 they, with sickly smiles, changed their minds as they 
 glanced at the resolute faces of the collectors. 
 
 Needless to say, the papers took up the Cause in 
 eloquent torrents of ink. 
 
 Once call anything a Cause, and you raise it to a high 
 plane of dignity and financial potentiality. 
 
 When Joe returned, some seven or eight days later 
 for his father had written to him not to hurry as he was 
 doing remarkably well on the indignant and sympathetic 
 racket he found that they had had the best week on 
 record : over ^90 clear, after paying even the exceptional 
 outgoings. This was, of course, quite apart from the 
 Defence Fund. 
 
 Joe had got a good little company together and made 
 up an attractive programme. They ran the business in 
 its new grooves, leaving the caravan, figures, and pro- 
 perties in the technical custody of the Sheriff. 
 
 Mr O'Toole was sad and furious at Mottleboy's refusal 
 to sanction steps to dissolve the injunction, or to reclaim 
 against the tyrannical order for the seizure of the Galaxy, 
 or to move that the trial of the action be set down for 
 Dublin and not at Ballynoggin, which Kennada had 
 shrewdly done on the ground, inter alia, that it would be 
 inequitable and ruinous to take his numerous witnesses to 
 
 105
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 the Capital. Mottleboy persisted in remaining simply on 
 his defence. 
 
 Mr O'Toole pointed out forcibly that even an Irish 
 Court, and notwithstanding that he was English, might 
 have some regard to the prayer that he would probably 
 not have a fair trial at Ballynoggin ; but in vain. Never 
 had he so low an opinion of an Englishman's cheery 
 callousness and Dutch-like phlegm. 
 
 In due course the Assize came to Ballynoggin, and the 
 trial came on. Each side had a good array of Counsel 
 (who are not dear) every man of whom was as full 
 of points as a circular saw, and bursting, in swirling 
 eddies, with fluent and florid rhetoric argumentative, 
 sarcastic, passionate, humorous, persuasive, denunciatory, 
 declamatory. 
 
 The case occupied nearly a week, what with Counsels' 
 addresses, witnesses, and wranglings over misquoted 
 precedents. 
 
 It were instructive, but interminable, to describe that 
 great series of skirmishes and pitched battles. Some of 
 the learned Judge's observations in the summing-up may, 
 however, be usefully given. 
 
 It is indisputable that, in Ireland, the Judges are, with 
 accidental exceptions, selected because of their ugliness 
 facial, chiefly. 
 
 Mr Justice Cartophle, who presided over this case of 
 Kennada v. Mottleboy, was destined, even to the most 
 superficial eye, to yet higher judicial honours. His im- 
 pressive face was strongly marked the upper line being 
 all shaggy eyebrow, and the lower all fearsome mouth, 
 both parallels being driven from ear to ear. It was myrrh 
 and frankincense to him when an English suitor was before 
 him, for that gave him the chance of playing up cheaply 
 against the unpopularity which he had too industriously 
 
 106
 
 In Wax 
 
 earned as a Castle official, before his elevation to the Bench 
 which adorned him. 
 
 " Now, gentlemen," he said in the course of his address 
 to the Jury, speaking in a deep voice and with a melli- 
 fluous brogue, and looking fiercely at the defendant from 
 time to time, " the facts are all before you, and those facts 
 are not denied. Whatever else the defendant this 
 English adventurer, or showman, or charlatan, or vaga- 
 bond, or clown, or whatever he calls himself, who had the 
 effrontery to come to Ireland, to this poverty-stricken isle 
 of ours, to take money out of the pockets of her people 
 out of their pockets, mind you whatever else he may say 
 or not say, allege or keep back, he has not had the courage, 
 or the skill, to deny those facts. He could not, as his 
 pleas were drawn ; he dared not, as the evidence shows. 
 Courage, gentlemen, is of two kinds, moral and animal. 
 Moral courage is the result of high moral qualities. 
 Animal courage is the courage of an animal. Englishmen 
 are supposed, I say supposed, to possess some portion of 
 the latter occasionally. That compliment I cannot pay 
 to the defendant. Gentlemen, he has not denied the facts, 
 and you will say whether such contemptible poltroonery is 
 the impertinence of a good cause, or the over-confidence 
 of a bad one. Perhaps, he was well advised. Perhaps, he 
 saw in the abject cowardice of non-denial, right or wrong, 
 some possibility of extorting your pity, even though he 
 forfeited your respect. I do not know. I decline to let 
 down my mind to fathom the noisome shallows of his. 
 Enough that he has not denied the facts : and they stand 
 out in relief, as if in letters of fire graven in the rock ; as 
 ineffaceable, irrevocable, immutable, as are the echoes of 
 Irish scenes in exiled hearts, as are the memories of un- 
 forgiven wrongs." 
 
 There was considerable emotion as these periods were 
 107
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 delivered with grand elocutionary effect and a rhythm all 
 the finer for the brogue. Nobody quite knew what they 
 meant, but that was no matter. 
 
 "Well then," he proceeded, " there is the question of 
 law, which it is for me to decide and for you to follow, 
 with unbiassed minds. The learned and almost un- 
 fortunate Counsel for this defendant had the assurance, 
 the temerity the audacity I was going to say, but I shall 
 not to urge that there was no case for the Jury no case 
 to go to the Jury. No case ? Gentlemen, no case ? I 
 do not wonder at the smile which suffuses the Court. 
 No case ? But while I sit here to administer justice I am 
 compelled to treat even such a hollow and pretentious pro- 
 position with seeming decorum. And I must not withhold 
 from your notice the suicidal effect of such an assertion, 
 for argument I call it not. If it means anything at all it 
 means a plea of justification. Think of it, gentlemen. 
 Justification ! It is difficult to restrain one's feelings and 
 to retain one's calm when it is seriously declared to our 
 very faces that this defendant was justified in ceasing to 
 exhibit the portrait-figure of the plaintiff, your wronged 
 and outraged fellow-citizen, who has, indeed, but ill- 
 deserved such cruel usage. What ! .Is he to suffer all 
 the agonies of all the implications arising from such un- 
 warrantable non-exhibition ; all the unspoken defamatory 
 and injurious imputations on his worthiness ; all the 
 suggestions that he was not what he had been ; all the 
 innuendos that he was now what he had not before been ? 
 Is he to be so held out to his townsmen who esteem him, 
 to the yet wider world which does not know him, to the 
 posterity which might be all the better for knowing him ? 
 Ah, gentlemen, are these things nothing ? And pain and 
 contumely, and latent slander, and the libel which is 
 smuggled out of sight, and the scandal which glares out 
 
 108
 
 In Wax 
 
 of the vacuum that malice has forged are all these 
 nothing ? Or things to be justified ? What was, what 
 is, this Galaxy, this Show, this Exhibition, this British 
 trap for hard-earned and alas ! too scarce Irish money ? 
 It professes to exhibit the models or portraits of persons 
 famous and infamous the hero and the assassin, the 
 patriot and the traitor, the saint and the apostate. In 
 short, of persons famous because of their fame, or because 
 of their infamy. In other words, the infamously famous 
 and the famous truly fame-worthy. Now, in which cate- 
 gory was the plaintiff? On which horn of the dilemma, 
 if not on both, will the defendant impale himself? If the 
 plaintiff was considered famous in the worthy sense, what 
 had he done, what is it alleged that he had done, to forfeit 
 that character ? And if he had not done anything to for- 
 feit that character, then his being withdrawn, wiped out, 
 and unexhibited is a libel, a slander, a tort, a stab in the 
 back with the dagger left reeking in the quivering breast, 
 and a vital blow to all that a man, a public man, a pro- 
 fessional man, and an Irishman holds most dear ; and for 
 that exemplary damages are due to him. But if it be 
 implied that he belonged to the other category, what 
 punishment can be too severe for a man who, for his own 
 miserable ends, comes here and brands and pillories the 
 best of Ireland's sons aye, and incites Irishmen and 
 women to pay to see the unblushing spectacle of the sup- 
 pressed exhibition ? Gentlemen, it is a hideous phase of 
 complicated treachery : it is horrible. 
 
 " ' But,' says the Counsel for the defendant, ' surely 
 he could do what he liked with his own property.' No 
 doubt within certain limitations. But that is begging 
 the question. Was that figure the defendant's own 
 absolute and undivided property in the sense that the 
 plaintiff had no rights or interests therein ? That is a 
 
 109
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 point for you to consider and for me to guide you to 
 a perfectly independent opinion in accordance with my 
 direction. 
 
 " Gentlemen, I ask you to find that the defendant had 
 no such absolute and undivided property in that figure, 
 and that the plaintiff had distinct rights and interests 
 therein, both material and immaterial rights, perhaps, 
 superior and more subtly inherent than those which the 
 mere incident of corporeal possession seemed to give to the 
 defendant. You will take your own fearless view of this 
 point, but it is my duty to rule, and it is yours' to follow 
 my ruling, that it would be the abnegation of common- 
 sense, a crime, a blunder, a folly, and an inconceivable 
 stultification to hold otherwise. Far be it from me to 
 prompt you, much less to venture to dictate to you ; but 
 that is the conclusion which you will, and must, arrive at, 
 even if I have failed to convince you. Now, let me make 
 it clear to you. A statue, a bust, a portrait, the reflection 
 in a mirror, and a shadow, are all essentially identical 
 barring the substance they are made of, or made on. 
 But, whose is the face ? Whose can it be but the man's 
 to whom it belongs and who has the wearing of it ? Can 
 it possibly be anyone else's ? If my shadow falls on 
 another man's wall, it is a joint tenancy while it lasts. 
 It does not make that wall mine by my shadow's temporary 
 occupancy thereof; it does not make my shadow his by 
 his transient accommodation of it. He can take his wall 
 away ; I can take my shadow away. The partnership, 
 such as it was, is dissolved, and neither party has recourse 
 or complaint the one against the other. That is un- 
 questionable. It was merely an accidental juxtaposition. 
 
 " But, if the owner of that wall comes to me and solicits, 
 for his own purposes, interests, aims, ends, and advantages, 
 the projection of my shadow, or the loan of my shadow, 
 
 no
 
 In Wax 
 
 on that wall : and he then goes and makes capital of it, 
 publishes the arrangement to the world, and gets me 
 identified with that wall, and known in connection with 
 it as imparting to me a certain renown, honour, or dignity 
 by virtue of that association, is he at liberty to sever that 
 connection without notice to me ? Is he free to act on 
 merely his own irresponsible caprice, malice, or rapacity, 
 even in the absence of any contract or understanding, as in 
 this case ? And am I to be left with the finger of scorn 
 ringing in my ears, the laugh of the unfeeling corroding my 
 peace, the sneers of the rancorous rankling in my bosom 
 and with no remedy, no compensation ? Nay, with a plea 
 negatively tantamount to justification thrown into my 
 teeth, besides ? 
 
 " But ah ! gentlemen, there is the yet keener pang when 
 the very material which bore the plaintiff's lineaments are 
 used to represent those of another man. Think of it ! 
 Those lineaments, by which he is known and discriminated 
 and differentiated from all the countless millions on this 
 revolving orb ; by which alone he apprehends and recog- 
 nises himself; by which parent and wife and child think of 
 him, pray for him ; by which he is hailed by his friends, 
 individualised by the world ; without which he would be a 
 moral monster, an undocketed schedule, a brief unen- 
 dorsed, a human thing and not a man, an item and not a 
 being those lineaments were especially designed for him, 
 expressly reserved for him, directly bestowed upon him 
 before his very birth ; and they are his his, gentlemen, 
 his own, and not another's. Tyranny itself never stooped 
 so low as to deny it. The iron mask shrouded the victim's 
 face, but, below it, that face was his inalienable. 
 
 "The plaintiffs face was in wax, and in the custody, 
 care, possession and control of the defendant. Gentlemen, 
 where is that face now ? We know that he melted the 
 
 III
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 wax, but that is not the point. I ask, ivbere is that face 
 nmv ? What has he done with it ? Whither has he 
 banished it ? 
 
 " Even if the mere inanimate raw material or visible 
 medium so many pounds of wax were the property of 
 the defendant, the face was not. And again I ask, where 
 is that face now ? Is it to wander about indefinitely, im- 
 palpably, unceasingly, until fortuitous chance bring it into 
 combination with a set of conditions which may once more 
 give it a local habitation and a physical embodiment ? And 
 is the plaintiff to suffer all this, and yet am I to be told that 
 there is no case to go to the Jury, and you to be invited to 
 say that here is no wrong to be redressed, here is no right 
 to be vindicated, here is no pain endured to be atoned for ? 
 
 " Gentlemen, we have been an unhappy race ; we are 
 a misunderstood race ; but we know that deep down 
 at the very roots of the Irish heart are the chords that 
 (consistently with economy) vibrate with sympathy for 
 suffering, that burn with indignation at wrong, that 
 thrill with joy when able to remedy it, and that would 
 wither with shame and scorn at the mere thought of 
 sparing the pocket of the English adventurer who dares 
 to come to this sacred Isle for, instead of with, money : 
 to wring that coin from her gifted sons which he 
 should rather scatter amongst them as some slight repara- 
 tion for the centuries which have gone as some weak 
 oblation to those which are to come. Gentlemen, consider 
 your verdict which is simply one of damages." 
 
 There were tears as well as cheers when this magnifi- 
 cently-spoken address ended, and Mr Justice Cartophle 
 retired behind his widely-riven jaws and eyebrows. 
 
 The Jury conferred for one minute, without leaving the 
 box. Then the verdict was given. It was for the plaintiff 
 damages .10,000. 
 
 112
 
 In Wax 
 
 The audience broke into a roar of applause, which was 
 taken up and carried on and on outside, until all Bally- 
 noggin was as vocal as a resounding shell. 
 
 Lawyer Kennada was carried shoulder high round the 
 square, tar barrels blazed that night in his honour, and the 
 majority of the able-bodied citizens went to bed in their 
 boots. 
 
 "Joe," whispered Mottleboy to his son, "this 'ere 
 vardic' will be the making of us see if it isn't. Ten 
 thousand ho, ho, ho ! Ten tho oh, my old sides, Joe ! 
 ho, ho ! " 
 
 H 113
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 Chapter 1 
 
 IT happened before the Third Riding P.F.R.L.Y. Bayo- 
 neteers the " Tha Knaws " left Ballynoggin Barracks. 
 
 Mr Mountford O'Greaves, the young Assistant Surgeon, 
 had quitted the service and was testing a practice with the 
 view to purchase and settling down, with Geraldine Byrne 
 as his wife : and his successor Mr Dobley Hawes was 
 making a pleasant call at O'Flaherty Hall. 
 
 There was the usual light chatter, whilst the Colonel 
 read, and the mater knitted, and one of the younger girls 
 sorted coloured wools and the other gummed up broken 
 music sheets, and only Valentina smiled and beamed and 
 gave sole and pleased attention to the visitor, who obvi- 
 ously was likewise attracted by her. 
 
 " We've just had a bit of luck," he remarked, in the 
 course of the discursive talk. " A young soldier turns out 
 to be quite a clever dispenser, and with a fair knowledge 
 of medicine and surgery also. And he's steady and 
 gentlemanly, too. It's quite a find." 
 
 " Oh, how fortunate ! " exclaimed Miss O'Flaherty. 
 " Was he a student, I wonder ? " 
 
 " Don't know nor care," laughed Mr Hawes. " The 
 funny thing is that, as he says, his father was an officer in 
 the same Regiment only the other battalion " 
 
 " What's that ? " cried the Colonel sharply. 
 
 Mr Hawes repeated.
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "What's his name? I remember every one for years 
 and years " 
 
 " Oh let me see. Ha, yes : it's Portellis, Bryan Port- 
 ellis " 
 
 "By God! you don't say so " shouted the Colonel, 
 starting up and shaking the young surgeon by both 
 shoulders, so that the reiteration came out in a series of 
 clicks. 
 
 " Why," said the Colonel answering his wife's question- 
 ing eyes, " I've been seeking him high and low for ever so 
 long. His father was a dear friend of mine died in an 
 action on the Afghan frontier. I'm one of the trustees of 
 the marriage settlement, you know. His son who's been 
 lost sight of these ten years past has become Sir Bryan, 
 on his uncle's death eighteen months ago. By Jove ! " 
 
 He was intensely excited. 
 
 " Oh hang it all ! " muttered Mr Hawes. " I shall lose 
 him now. Sorry I mentioned it.'* 
 
 Valentina heard, and looked at him with disillusioned 
 gaze. She now beheld a hard, cunning, selfish, ginger 
 face, a foxy eye, and a scheming, parasitical, cruel mouth ; 
 and she, there and then, expelled him from all possible 
 regard or respect, or even tolerance. He was contume- 
 liously ejected from her mind. 
 
 The Colonel rang all the bells in the room and hurried 
 everybody about. He was going to ride over to the 
 barracks at once. 
 
 " Please drive, papa and take me," said Valentina. 
 "Oh, I am sure that there's some pretty or interesting 
 story about his disappearance ; and there's sure to be a 
 love story about his enlistment. Do let me come with 
 you, papa dear, and take the mail-cart." 
 
 Considering that she was the only person in the house 
 who always had her way with the Colonel, her beseeching 
 
 116
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 tone, on this occasion, might have struck him as somewhat 
 unusual but that men are so dense. 
 
 Her mother and sisters clearly discerned in it Mr Dobley 
 Hawes' scornful and irrevocable dismissal. 
 
 Within ten minutes the mail-cart was rolling swiftly to 
 the barracks. 
 
 Major Murphison was on the parade ground, with some 
 of the officers. 
 
 After the usual salutations Miss O'Flaherty going to 
 call on some of the ladies, and the mail-cart being led away 
 by a soldier delighted to have the touch and sight of a 
 horse the Colonel was beginning to explain the special 
 object of his visit, when his eyes fell on a squad of 
 young soldiers. 
 
 "Why," he cried, "there he is. His father's very 
 image and expression. That's Portellis I'll swear to 
 him." 
 
 The Major called the sergeant, who confirmed the 
 Colonel. 
 
 " Call him out, Murphison," said the Colonel in great 
 excitement. 
 
 A word to the sergeant, and the young fellow stood, 
 handsome and erect, at attention before them. 
 
 A few questions. 
 
 Yes, he was Bryan Portellis. His father was Captain 
 Bryan Portellis of the first battalion of the same Regiment. 
 He found it out though Dr Coyninge told him otherwise. 
 He did not remember his mother : but he dimly recollected 
 something about India and his coming home with some 
 other children and their mother and native servants. 
 
 And the boarding-school in England until he was about 
 twelve. 
 
 Since then he had been kept by had lived with Dr 
 Coyninge, in Dublin 
 
 117
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "Why," at this point exclaimed Colonel O'Flaherty, 
 " Coyninge was one of our surgeons. Queer stories about, 
 him. Ran away with h'm ! " 
 
 "Was he happy as a soldier ? 
 
 The young fellow smiled ; then his ingenuous face 
 showed that various thoughts and feelings moved within 
 him. 
 
 " By heaven ! " said the Colonel apart to the Major, 
 " I seem to see my old dear chum, his dad, across the 
 years that have gone, in every line and twist and shade of 
 his face." 
 
 Yes very happy, in a way, so far as having sufficient 
 and regular meals, and clothes that he can appear in 
 in daylight, and self-respect. 
 
 The Colonel pulled the Major on one side. 
 
 " Murphison listen to this just listen to this. And 
 all this time his money, and the very interest of it, piling 
 up, piling up : and to-day he's a baronet with something 
 like twenty thousand a year, and several mansions and 
 parks. I want him his discharge I mean. I'll give you 
 a cheque at once for his smart money. Give him unlimited 
 leave until all formalities are completed. Thank you, 
 Murphison. About clothes for him ? Where's Dion ? " 
 
 His son came up, and both the seniors measured him 
 and Portellis with bent brows and calculating eyes. 
 " To a tee, I say," remarked the Major. 
 "Not a tape's thickness between them," assented the 
 Colonel. 
 
 Then they explained to the young soldier, who was too 
 astonished to understand, and to the young officer who 
 hurried him away to his quarters. 
 
 "Murphison," said the Colonel, who, notwithstanding 
 his name, was an Englishman and practical. " I think I 
 see how it was. That scamp Coyninge he always was 
 
 118
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 a bit of a sharp in money matters prigged poor Portellis' 
 estate what he had and kept the boy in ignorance and 
 in misery. By the Lord ! but we'll get to the bottom of it 
 all. Lend me a man or two, there's a good chap. I want 
 to send a line to Kennada, the attorney, to come to the 
 house, and also to Mr Brady, whose advice is even better 
 than a lawyer's, and he's also a magistrate. Thanks. I'll 
 write a line to each in Dion's quarters " 
 
 " Oh, come to mine and welcome," said the Major 
 heartily, " while the boy gets into some proper clothes ; 
 and your lad may as well have leave and drive him to the 
 Hall. I'll tell him. And maybe, I'll ride round myself." 
 
 " Do, do, my dear Murphison. I I rather fancy Mrs 
 Byrne is coming " 
 
 " Ah, would ye, now ! But it's all right. I shall get 
 my step in a few months, and then " 
 
 " Ha, ha ! I know, I know." 
 
 When Valentina came out to rejoin her father, she was 
 accompanied by quite a number of ladies whose interest 
 and curiosity she had stimulated. 
 
 She saw her brother in mufti, with a young gentleman 
 of his own height and build a good-looking, bashful, 
 well-dressed fellow, undeniably a gentleman. 
 
 Dion introduced him. 
 
 " Sir Bryan Portellis." 
 
 There was a good deal of smiling, and of pleasant chit- 
 chat. 
 
 One irrepressible youthful matron wagged an admonitory 
 finger at him, and laughingly called him " a naughty boy," 
 which amused him : and another merry but unreflecting 
 young lady asked him, with mock seriousness "What's 
 her name ? Do tell us." 
 
 But he did not smile at this question, but, on 
 the contrary, went red and white, and his lip, for a 
 
 119
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 moment trembled, and a proud, pained look came into 
 his face. 
 
 A feeling almost maternal rose in Valentina's fair bosom, 
 and she took him in her charge. 
 
 " You're coming to our house with my brother Dion. 
 My father's your trustee, you know. Now, Dion, make 
 haste, or we shall leave you miles behind." 
 
 Mrs O'Flaherty, the Colonel, Mr Brady and Mr 
 Kennada heard Bryan's simply-told story. 
 
 " It must be about ten years ago since Dr Coyninge 
 took me from the boarding-school in Devon. We came 
 to London, when he was living in lodgings. Mrs Coyninge 
 was there, too, and the youngest daughter, Emily quite 
 a child. The other two both older than I were at 
 school. Of course, I learnt that afterwards, for I didn't 
 know them then. 
 
 " After some weeks we all came to Dublin the elder 
 girls and all and went to a big house in St Stephen's 
 Green. I remember that most of the furniture was 
 covered up, and heaps of things piled together, and the 
 time it took to get all the rooms straight, and painting 
 and whitewashing and chimney-sweeping, and all sorts of 
 things done. The house was very full of curiosities and 
 pictures, and furniture and china, and plate and lots of 
 books. 
 
 " Oh, I must tell you that when we came to Dublin 
 the doctor called me to his room, and told me that my 
 name was not Bryan Portellis at all, but only William 
 Bryant. He said that there was a very sad story about it, 
 and that if I had any respect for the Captain's memory, 
 who had been so good to me and had sent me to school 
 out of kindness, and even allowed me to use his name for 
 
 120
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 a time, I would never dare to mention that name again. 
 He said that he was inclined to keep me out of charity, if 
 I obeyed him and behaved myself; but he would kick me 
 out as a beggar brat if I ever presumed to talk or think of 
 myself in connection with the Captain or with the name of 
 Portellis, and wring my obstinate young neck into the 
 bargain. He made me give him my school-books and 
 prizes and certificates, and he tore out the pages on 
 which my name was written even the covers, if the 
 writing was there and threw them into the fire." 
 
 Mr Kennada was making notes. The others looked at 
 each other. 
 
 " But," continued Bryan, " there were some things that 
 he did not get. He did not know I had them, and I would 
 have died rather than let him take them from me. 
 
 " There was a little prayer-book my dear father had 
 given me, in which he had written my name and his own. 
 It was a present he sent me. And another book. And 
 some letters all the way from India. 
 
 " Oh, I prized them, I prized them more than all the 
 world. 
 
 "For I had nobody else, out of the school, whom I 
 knew. Nobody ever came to see me j I had nowhere to 
 go in my holidays ; nobody ever gave me anything I had 
 only my dear, dear dad in India. I used to cry a good 
 deal when by myself, at nights j and I hugged and kissed 
 his writing in my prayer-book, and the other book, and 
 his letters ; and I would talk to them, as if they were 
 telegraph wires to him, and he could hear me ; and that 
 cheered me, and gave me courage and patience. My very 
 prayers and the hymns I sang in church were, in my own 
 mind, to him. 
 
 "I never let these books and letters out of my own 
 keeping. I wore them inside my clothes I would rather 
 
 121
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 have been cut to pieces than lose them ; I should have died 
 of despair and grief if I had lost them." 
 
 Mrs O'Flaherty's tears were falling fast, and the Colonel 
 went to a window and swore. 
 
 " Did you succeed in retaining possession of these 
 books and letters ? " asked Mr Brady, steadying his 
 voice. 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and amongst a lot of litter and lumber in 
 the house I found books school-books and papers, some 
 of them which had belonged to my father ; and I hid 
 them." 
 
 " Tell us something, Sir Bryan, of your life with the 
 doctor," suggested Mr Kennada. 
 
 " Oh, it was very miserable. I was treated neither as 
 a servant nor as a member of the family. I was set to all 
 sorts of work and always sent to my attic when there 
 was any company. I had to take my meals, when I got 
 them, in the surgery. I begged to be put to school, or to 
 a situation. I had to clean windows, boots, knives, wash 
 bottles and do many other things, but scarcely ever allowed 
 out of doors. I took to reading there were heaps of 
 books. I worked at Latin and French ; I read anything 
 and everything ; I became useful to him as a dispenser, 
 and helped in his surgery. 
 
 " But I was always treated with contempt and insult 
 by the entire family ; I never had a penny ; I had only 
 cast-off rags of clothes, until I became ashamed to show 
 myself; and only at night could I steal out for a walk; 
 and I would have been almost starved as well if it had not 
 been for the pity of the servants. 
 
 " I would have gone mad, or have poisoned myself, but 
 but for 
 
 " Mrs O'Flaherty, she is only a servant, a house- 
 maid, an orphan brought up by an elder sister who 
 
 122
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 is the wife of a poor law writer a worthy man in low 
 health. 
 
 " Ah, you should see her a sweet, bright, noble- 
 hearted girl, younger than myself. 
 
 " She made my life endurable, with her brave spirit, 
 and counsel, and encouragement. 
 
 " It was she who woke up, if she did not inspire and 
 strengthen, everything that was in the least sensible and 
 resolute and good in me ; held me to my studies ; hardened 
 me to patience ; brightened me with hope ; and often kept 
 me from starving. 
 
 " She had picked up some knowledge from words 
 dropped in her hearing, or papers lying about ; and she 
 was sure that the doctor had been abusing me all the 
 time robbing me, insulting me, and worse, oh, far 
 worse than all filching from me not only my true name, 
 but what was more precious, the dear thought of my 
 father the cherished connection with the only creature 
 on earth that I belonged to, or that belonged to me even 
 if it were only a sacred memory. 
 
 " I did not know what to think. Sometimes, she con- 
 vinced me : sometimes, I doubted, or feared. I had no 
 one whom I would, or could, consult : I had no knowledge 
 of the world nor a friend in it except Gerty : that was 
 her name. 
 
 " At last I made up my mind to wait and work and 
 endure until I was one and twenty. 
 
 "I had no clear idea what was to happen then: but I 
 was convinced that I could do nothing before attaining 
 that age : and so we settled it at that. 
 
 " The dear girl often pressed some of her poor wages 
 on me if only for decent shoes to go out in but, of 
 course, I could not consent to that. 
 
 11 She was clever, though. One day she brought me 
 123
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 a sheet of her brother-in-law's law writing, and suggested 
 that I should try and write like that, and, maybe, I might 
 earn a little. 
 
 " It didn't come easy, but at last I managed it, and was 
 able through his help, to earn a few shillings. 
 
 " I bought myself some clothes one article at a 
 time. What a thing it was to contrive, and save 
 up, and manage ! 
 
 " One day I read in a paper something about the 
 Regiment my father's Regiment being stationed here ; 
 and, all at once, the idea shot into my head that the 
 right thing, the only thing, for me to do was to come 
 here, and enlist. 
 
 " Gerty was startled. She thought a great long while, 
 in her quiet collected way : then she cried softly to her- 
 self; and then she came to me, and kissed me and said, 
 ' Go, my dear. It's hard to part, but something tells me 
 that it's for your good.' 
 
 " So I put together all my books and papers except 
 that little prayer-book, which has never lost the sound of 
 the beating of my heart, and it's here now and made a 
 parcel for Gerty's brother-in-law to take care of. It's in 
 the strong room of the lawyers he works for Fallons & 
 Keyes " 
 
 " I know them," said Mr Kennada. "Very good people, 
 indeed." 
 
 " And," went on Sir Bryan, " I bought myself a strong 
 pair of boots, and a bit keepsake for Gerty, and had nearly 
 a half-crown in hand for the journey for I was to foot 
 it, and I did. 
 
 " She broke the only ring she had it had been her 
 mother's and we each have a half of it. 
 
 "We parted promising to be faithful and true to each 
 other in life or in death : and now ah, now I thank God 
 
 124
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 that I can take my sweet, gentle, pure-hearted girl to my 
 arms ; for I would not value wealth nor rank, nor life 
 itself, without her." 
 
 Mrs O'Flaherty though she had three daughters of 
 her own for whom she dreamt and prayed for good 
 husbands rose and kissed his brow. The woman rose 
 superior to the mother. 
 
 The Colonel scowled heavily. 
 
 Mr Kennada, lawyer-like brushed aside what he in- 
 wardly designated " this sentimental rubbish." 
 
 Mr Brady said nothing, but was very thoughtful. 
 
 " What's to be done, Kennada ? " enquired the Colonel. 
 
 Mr Kennada was a man of remarkably quick as well 
 as keen perception. In the presence of Mr Brady, he 
 could not venture to affect being oracular or abstruse. 
 He came promptly to the point. 
 
 "There is no moral, or rational doubt," said he, "of 
 this young gentleman's good faith and authenticity. But 
 you have to proceed regularly, and the identity must be 
 established in a legal manner that is to say, by the 
 accumulation of all attainable evidence to support all 
 the reasonable presumptions. And this is necessary not 
 only for your protection as a trustee, but also for his 
 own sake, present and future." 
 
 " That seems right enough," growled the Colonel, 
 and Mr Brady nodded his head approvingly. 
 
 " To begin with, therefore, may we see the little book 
 the prayer-book you spoke of ? " resumed the solicitor. 
 
 " Certainly," and in a few minutes he emerged from 
 the corner where, with intuitive delicacy, he had gone 
 to detach the little bag, suspended by a ribbon round his 
 neck, which held the treasured souvenir; and he handed 
 to Mr Kennada. 
 
 The three gentlemen examined the inscription, and 
 
 125
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 even the date on the imprimatur, with intense interest 
 and minuteness. 
 
 Mrs O'Flaherty held out her hand for the little book, 
 and the tears sprang to her eyes as she read the fond 
 and pious lines of the loving father in India to his solitary 
 and motherless child in England, 
 
 "Of course," cried the Colonel, "that's poor Portellis' 
 writing I have dozens of letters and things from him. 
 And I know that he was at that identical rat-trap of a 
 station at that very time." 
 
 " No doubt, no doubt, Colonel," observed Mr Brady. 
 " But it is to his own interest that the enquiry and the 
 proof be as exhaustive as possible while the proofs exist, 
 or are attainable, so that his position shall be made 
 impregnable." 
 
 " Yes, sir very forcibly put just my opinion," said 
 Mr Kennada. 
 
 "If I may suggest," went on Mr Brady, "with all 
 deference to Mr Kennada " 
 
 That gentleman urged him to proceed. 
 
 " Put down every possible detail that he can remember 
 up to the time that he was taken from the school 
 important or unimportant everything. Names of masters, 
 names of all the boys he can think of, and of the servants, 
 meals, games, matches, incidents, the church, clergy, 
 walks, illnesses, doctors, punishments, prizes, nicknames 
 not a single trifle should be omitted." 
 
 " Good, good, good," said Mr Kennada, and the 
 Colonel whispered " dashed nonsense ! " to himself. 
 
 "Then, I suppose, you will get those other documents 
 especially the letters which he says he has in safety 
 in Dublin." 
 
 " Yes, certainly," answered the solicitor, and then he 
 saw that it was his turn to play. 
 
 126
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 " Of course, of course," he said, " and I shall take the 
 requisite steps for verification, and thus build up, with 
 the other materials, an irresistible body of proof. But I 
 also propose to set on foot the necessary investigations as 
 to this worthy doctor's dealings with his father's estate." 
 
 " Quite right" Mr Brady had overlooked this. 
 
 "I shall," went on Mr Kennada, "have the registers 
 in London and Dublin searched for the probate, if any : 
 and, in any case, we shall bring the rascal to book." 
 
 " Yes, damn him ! " exclaimed the Colonel. " I know 
 him. I know him. Very likely it was a military will 
 dying man action, you know. But you'll find all that 
 out. And, now I think of it, by Jove ! it was his mother's 
 house in St Stephen's Green. I remember now. The 
 Honourable Mrs Portellis, to be sure. A little queer in 
 the head, she was. Life interest. I'll look up the 
 marriage settlement of which I am the sole surviving 
 trustee, and shew it to you." 
 
 He became greatly excited. It was settled that young 
 Portellis should set down all such details as Mr Brady had 
 suggested, and as many more as he could bring to mind ; 
 that Mr Kennada should at once go back to his office and 
 send instructions to his agents in Dublin and London j 
 and that Portellis should write to the law writer to bring 
 the parcel of documents deposited in his employer's 
 strong-room five pounds being enclosed for his expenses. 
 
 The young baronet turned very red : then he laughed 
 merrily as he avowed that he had never possessed such an 
 amount, or anything like it, and that his then capital did 
 not exceed ninepence. 
 
 There was a roar of laughter, in which even Mrs 
 O'Flaherty joined, in her sweet way. 
 
 " And I have thousands and thousands of his money," 
 shouted the Colonel "quite outside what he now 
 
 127
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 inherits, with its accumulations. Ninepence ! Ho, ho, 
 ho!" 
 
 " Oh, don't mention the question of money, Sir Bryan," 
 said Mr Kennada, with smiling deference. 
 
 " Dash it all ! " cried the Colonel, " I'm going to put 
 five hundred pounds to your credit, any way verification 
 or no verification. I am satisfied up to the hilt aye, up 
 to the hilt-head. And, wait a minute, you'll want some 
 pocket-money " 
 
 " I have fifty or sixty pounds in notes in my pocket- 
 book," said Mr Brady. " Here they are. You can send 
 me a cheque bye and bye," and he handed them over. 
 
 " Why, why," almost stammered Portellis, " this 
 wealth this it almost frightens me." 
 
 "I would suggest to you," said Mr Kennada who had 
 been reflecting deeply, "that, in writing, you should 
 disclose as little as possible about your succession. It is 
 better, at this stage, to refrain from letting that doctor 
 fellow learn too much " 
 
 " Oh," replied the other, " I always write to her in 
 care of her sister, for she told me that she suspects that 
 my letters would be tampered with, or suppressed, if I 
 addressed them to the house." 
 
 " Well, I beg you I earnestly beg you, Sir Bryan to 
 confine yourself, for the moment, to saying that you are 
 well, and are with good friends, and are taking your 
 discharge from the army, and have come into some 
 money. Not a word more. The good news won't run 
 away. Take your lawyer's advice. We don't want 
 even indirectly to put the doctor on his guard." 
 
 " But but " 
 
 " Don't you see," Mr Kennada fixed his eyes, first on 
 the Colonel, and then more markedly on Mr Brady, and 
 spoke with impressive gravity he was playing a fine 
 
 128
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 card " don't you see that the doctor is evidently a 
 fraudulent trustee, and he might cut and run ? On the 
 other hand, we close in on him, and, even if we can't 
 compel restitution and perhaps, because he can't make it 
 he can absolutely confirm and establish our title beyond 
 all possibility of question : and he may be glad to do so if 
 once cornered in due form and force." 
 
 The Colonel bent his brows whilst slowly absorbing 
 this reasoning, but Mr Brady gave a satisfied nod, and 
 complimented Mr Kennada. It was honour, pride and 
 glory to him to receive praise from such a quarter. 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 DION went over to Brady Castle and brought back 
 Patricia Patsey Brady ; and they had a very merry 
 evening, after the family dinner; especially as Major 
 Murphison was of the party, and Mrs Byrne and her 
 daughters came later, and two or three officers likewise 
 dropped in after mess. 
 
 Music, dancing, billiards, politics, flirtation and round 
 games : but the ladies thrilled delightfully over the 
 ror- 'ice of Sir Bryan, and some of them cast admiring 
 ar' ! ''riendly glances at him; and the men liked him for 
 his c"vn sake, and for his father's since he had been one 
 of Yheir's -and rejoiced in his good fortune with manly 
 generosity. 
 
 That night's mail from Ballynoggin carried Kennada's 
 momentous letters to his agents, and Portellis' to his 
 sweetheart, and to the law-writer. 
 
 It also bore one which, as the quick result showed, 
 was calculated to render those of the astute lawyer 
 superfluous. 
 
 i 129
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 It was a note to Dr Coyninge from Dr Dobley 
 Hawes whose rancour had been kindled over the 
 young soldier-dispenser's sudden importance and his 
 own contemptuous fall from favour. 
 
 In that communication he half sarcastically made 
 mention of the ugly duckling which had so surprisingly 
 burst into a fine swan in a single day in fact, that 
 same day. He asked if it was all genuine, or had 
 everyone gone mad, or been taken in, over this Sir 
 Bryan Portellis concealed in the person of the poor 
 soldier boy, who had tramped from Dublin to enlist 
 in the Regiment, and whom he had employed as a 
 dispenser. 
 
 And was there anything against him, and why had he 
 left and enlisted, and who and what was he, in reality ? 
 Also, he was as much amused as amazed at the craze. 
 Of course, he wrote in strict confidence as between 
 professional men. Moreover, he was aware that his corre- 
 spondent had also been a surgeon in the Regiment. 
 
 If, next morning, when that letter was opened, a 
 bombshell had burst in that big house on St Stephen's 
 Green, the astonishment, consternation, and even terror, 
 could scarcely have been greater. 
 
 Dr Coyninge had a bit of a fit and fell forward amongst 
 the breakfast things. When he had been laid on a couch, 
 and the two younger girls sent out of the room, his wife 
 read the letter, and fell screaming on the floor. And 
 when, damp and dishevelled, she was at length brought 
 to, and propped into an easy chair, and the servants sent 
 away, Miss Coyninge perused the fateful missive, and 
 straightway lapsed into hysterics until the house was 
 shrill with her full-chested shrieks. 
 
 The doctor pulled himself together, with the aid of 
 half a tumbler of brandy, and, after a while, his wife 
 
 130
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 and daughter came round and wept very copiously. 
 Then the younger girls and the servants were once more 
 ordered away, and the two pallid ladies and the white- 
 faced doctor were left alone bending gaunt and desperate 
 eyes on each other. 
 
 There ensued a miserable scene of recrimination, regrets, 
 fear, disappointment. Each heaped burning reproaches on 
 the other, provoking fierce rejoinders, cutting reminders, 
 hypocritical justifications, and remorseless blames and 
 condemnations. 
 
 " Could not I have kept him ? " cried Miss Coyninge in 
 a raised voice. " Of course, I could have kept him if you 
 hadn't kept him as a drudge, a menial, a pauper dependant 
 fed on scraps and leavings, and not too many of them ; 
 in wretched rags of your worn-out clothes ; with never a 
 word but it was a sneer or a jeer. And you said he was 
 only some poor soldier's son, and there was some scandal 
 
 about his birth " 
 
 " H'm ! " growled her father trying to turn this 
 cataract of words "and you gave yourself superior airs, 
 
 and thrust him into the arms of of " 
 
 " That young minx that Gerty, the housemaid," bitterly 
 laughed his wife. 
 
 " Yes," furiously replied the daughter, " and you both 
 chuckled at it, and said let the young minx have him, 
 and marry him, and sink him into the dregs, and there 
 an end of him. Once submerged and he's as good as 
 buried ! ' You know you did, Pa ; you know you did ; 
 you know you did." 
 
 Her father and mother looked at each other, as if unable 
 to understand this heated intensity. They had been think- 
 ing, and were sadly thinking now, of the money aspect of 
 matters the betrayed trust in the past, and their legal 
 responsibilities for it, as well as the stoppage of their
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 pillage, and the terrible loss of the young man with his 
 rank and wealth. 
 
 And there was the reflection, like a stab, that to have 
 secured the latter, or even his favour or friendship, would 
 have been at the very least, immunity, and absolution, and 
 indemnity as to the former. 
 
 " Oh, you force me to speak," excitedly went on the 
 young lady, her handsome face aflame and her eyes ablaze. 
 " I did love him secretly I loved him, and ate my heart 
 out in fighting against it. But I believed what you said 
 about him and I saw that he was a drudge and poor- 
 spirited, and always miserably dressed, yet proud and 
 oh ! always so thorough-bred a gentleman, though he 
 didn't think it, and cleaned knives and bottles, and 
 starved in an attic ! And I had to laugh and sneer, 
 while it was like knives cutting into my flesh to see 
 him look at at that house-maid, and to see the expression 
 of her eyes as she looked at him; and to know that 
 they talked together and I could not and, perhaps, she 
 shared her meals with him for the servants wouldn't 
 have stood the treatment he had to endure. I hardened 
 myself I I Oh, I'd give the world, the world, to 
 change places with her with that young minx even if 
 he were still a poor, plain, private soldier ! I would, I 
 would, I would ! " 
 
 Then she collapsed in a torrent of tears. 
 
 " And to think that he is now Sir Bryan Portellis 
 
 immensely rich several good houses My God ! 
 
 Only to think of it ! " cried Dr Coyninge despairingly. 
 " And and that young minx, as you call her, to carry 
 him off " 
 
 " Never ! " almost shouted Mrs Coyninge. 
 
 " Never ! " repeated Gerty " the young minx " in the 
 depth of her tumultuously-beating heart, as, with hands 
 
 132
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 tightly pressed to her panting breast, she stood, pale and 
 trembling, in an adjoining room, and through an old- 
 fashioned press or cupboard which was built half in each 
 room, had listened to every word. 
 
 She divined from the commotions of that morning that 
 there was something connected with, or affecting her lover, 
 who, as she well knew, had been shamefully treated and 
 victimised ; and she felt herself justified, for his sake, in 
 gathering knowledge likely to protect him, or to benefit 
 him. 
 
 Dr Coyninge listened to his daughter's violent avowals 
 at first with surprise, followed by impatient anger at the 
 intrusion of so miserable and insignificant a thing, at this 
 critical moment, as his daughter's personal feelings. 
 
 But this mood suddenly changed to acute interest as a 
 new idea shot into his head. 
 
 He drank some more brandy, and walked up and down 
 the room for a time. Then the three of them gathered 
 close and conferred in low tones. 
 
 They evolved a programme which put them in a cheer- 
 ful, almost in a buoyant, frame of mind. 
 
 The doctor feverishly packed a small portmanteau and 
 took the very next train to Ballynoggin. 
 
 So did Mr James Versey, the Jaw writer. He knew 
 the doctor by sight, and, not altogether ignorant of things, 
 he guessed the object of his journey. 
 
 He congratulated himself on his own promptitude. He 
 had, on receipt of the startling letter, lost no time in 
 getting the little parcel from the office strong-room, 
 despatching his wife to her sister with the letter 
 addressed to her and enclosed in his own, and, without 
 waiting for message or reply, hastening to the railway 
 station with an irreducible minimum of luggage in a 
 veteran brief-bag. 
 
 '33
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Arrived at Ballynoggin Mr Versey, suspicious and ob- 
 servant, stood modestly aside, watched the doctor mount 
 a car, and heard him direct to be driven to the Barracks. 
 
 " That will put me a little ahead," said he to himself, 
 as he, in turn, drove off to O'Flaherty Hall. 
 
 Young Portellis received him with great heartiness and 
 placed him at his perfect ease. His manner showed no 
 trace of change, and he showered upon him questions as 
 to Gerty the absence of whose answer evidently gave 
 him a good deal of pain. 
 
 Mr Kennada was at the Hall. There was a great deal 
 to do, and a member of the firm of the family solicitors 
 was expected. 
 
 The documents brought by Versey were eagerly in- 
 spected ; and nobody thought any the less of the young 
 baronet because of his trembling hand and flushing face 
 and dimmed eyes and broken voice, as he once more 
 handled those dear and hallowed letters. He felt as if 
 his father were there, in spiritual reality, at that moment. 
 
 The Colonel was almost violent at the mere suggestion 
 that any further trouble need be taken. 
 
 " Why, of course, they were written by Bryan Portellis. 
 Who should know better than I ? And look at him ! 
 equally of course he is Bryan Portellis, his son. The 
 entire battalion will swear to him at first sight and stick 
 to it the longer they look. And the very voice, too, and 
 his ways ! Don't tell me you want further proof. Proof ! " 
 he repeated scornfully. 
 
 Versey told them of the doctor's arrival in the town. 
 
 They glanced at each other. How could he have 
 known ? 
 
 " I'll bet a pony," cried the Colonel, " that that surgeon 
 chap Hawes, Dobley Hawes sent him a line or wire. 
 He was here yesterday, and, of course, he knows. 
 
 134
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 Always thought the beggar a bit of a bounder and 
 sneak." 
 
 " Anyway," said the practical and ready-witted lawyer, 
 " we must be prepared for him ; and extract some per- 
 haps, a very great deal advantage from his kind visit. 
 It seems to me that he will save us a great deal of 
 work. 
 
 " Like to shoot the scamp," muttered the Colonel. 
 
 Kennada had a happy thought. 
 
 " Colonel, would you mind telling your butler to be 
 handy when the doctor calls, and to get him to write on 
 the back of his card who it is he wants to see." 
 
 " Why, certainly," answered the Colonel, with a puzzled 
 look. 
 
 " He can easily say that it's a rule of the house many 
 visitors here sometimes Irish servants stupid and make 
 hash of names mistakes annoying and confusing, and so 
 on. Pen and ink handy " 
 
 " Still, I don't quite perceive," said the Colonel, 
 doubtfully. 
 
 " Why, sir, he clearly is most anxious to see him in 
 view of the past, and, in his wild imagination, possibly of 
 the future also. To see him, he must give the proper 
 name and it's a rod for his own back, besides service 
 to us, that he'd be fabricating when he writes the words 
 * Bryan Portellis ' on his own card, bedad ! " 
 
 It was arranged that Versey remain in the house 
 over-night, and Portellis and he went off together, the 
 former to remain within call. They had much to talk 
 about. 
 
 It fell out as Kennada had calculated. The doctor 
 drove up, and in his wiliest manner tried to circumvent 
 the suave and wilier butler who, a few minutes later, 
 presented the doctor's visiting card with the words " To 
 
 135
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 see Mr Bryan Portellis' written by him on its back. 
 Neither the proffered (and re-pocketed) half-sovereign 
 nor the smiling off-hand request " Oh, you can write the 
 name, you know : my hand is rather cold and stiff," 
 prevailed with the butler. 
 
 " Orders, sir," was his simple reply. 
 
 The solicitor's eyes twinkled as he read the card to 
 which he added the date and his own initials. 
 
 " Cunning fool ! " he remarked. " He pretends not to 
 know of his title, to give himself an air of disinterested- 
 ness. Please ask Sir Bryan to step this way, and, when 
 you hear the bell, show Dr Coyninge up. Colonel, you 
 will remain, will you not ? " 
 
 " Afraid I can't keep still : my temper's boiling now. 
 But, I think I'd better stay. Oh, look here. I don't 
 think he knows of my change of surname addition, that 
 is. And a dozen years make a difference. I'll sit there, 
 in that corner, with my back to the window. Just draw 
 that curtain over a little ; so. Now, haul him in. By 
 Jove, I've to hold myself up. But I'll do it, if I've to 
 bite my tongue until the proper time." 
 
 He was bustling about whilst speaking, and he was 
 duly stage-managed as he wanted. Sir Bryan came in, 
 and was briefly informed that the doctor was coming up 
 to see him, and then that gentleman was announced and 
 shown in. Mr Kennada sat half-effaced at a table over 
 a lot of papers. 
 
 " My dear boy, my dear boy, how could you, ah, 
 how could you ? " cried the doctor in an emotional and 
 gently-upbraiding voice, as he hastily entered the 
 room, and caught the young man affectionately by the 
 arms. 
 
 " You have given us a world," he went on, " a world 
 of anxiety and grief, by this episode, you dear young 
 
 I 3 6
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 rascal, you. And, and Olivia is simply distracted, 
 distracted, poor girl ! " 
 
 " You are mistaken, doctor," began the young man. 
 
 " Indeed, no : indeed, no, my dear Bryan. She's 
 quite broken-hearted about you. It all came out. I 
 suppose it began in some silly lover's quarrel ha, 
 ha!" 
 
 " Doctor, you are mistaken and I am not. This is 
 Colonel O'Flaherty, my trustee under my parents' 
 marriage settlement, and this is Mr Kennada, my 
 solicitor." 
 
 The courtesies were formal and constrained. 
 
 The doctor's exuberance and self-confidence diminished, 
 but, with a certain fatuity, begotten of planned purpose 
 and sustained by desperate obstinacy, he went on tc 
 speak of painful days and sleepless nights of distress, 
 and weary searchings, and his dear girl dying of sorrow, 
 and of cruel undeserved desertion, before our eyes, our 
 very eyes, sir. 
 
 And then he dramatically wiped his own. 
 
 The young man stood calm and unreproachful but 
 unmoved, in severe dignity disdainful, grieved, and 
 coldly angry at this grovelling imposture and dis- 
 simulation. At length he said : 
 
 " Mr Kennada, will you please speak to Dr Coyninge 
 I cannot. For there is so much that I could say 
 and I may be sorry afterwards and what's the use ? " 
 
 " Dr Coyninge," said the solicitor, "my agents are 
 at this moment making the necessary investigations. 
 We already know a good deal a good deal, and it's 
 a black record " 
 
 "Damned black," growled the Colonel. 
 
 " You can speak, or not, as you think proper. As you 
 are surprised and have no solicitor to advise you, perhaps 
 
 137
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 you'd best say nothing until called upon, as you will 
 be, to account for your dealings with this gentleman's 
 property, and your treatment of him " 
 
 "And, by Heaven ! " the Colonel was unable to re- 
 main quiet any longer, "he'll have to explain a good deal 
 more than that." He strode forward and confronted the 
 astonished visitor. " Coyninge, how did you get yourself 
 into that Will, if it was a Will ? " 
 
 "Why, Royle," cried the doctor. 
 
 " Colonel Royle-O'Flaherty, if you please," icily 
 corrected the angry officer. 
 
 "Why of course, I knew you were a friend of poor 
 Portellis, and I looked for you everywhere " 
 
 "H'm except in the Army List or the Regimental 
 Staff Headquarters, I presume," snarled the Colonel. 
 "But, about that Will ? Who were there and what 
 were the circumstances ? " 
 
 " He was hit two places, one of them very bad. 
 Dictated his Will. I read it over to him most 
 carefully " 
 
 "Who were there witnesses, you know? Or were 
 there none ? " 
 
 " Oh yes, there were a sergeant, and another man. 
 I forget their names : but I've got them somewhere." 
 
 " We shall find out and hunt up those men, if it costs 
 a thousand pounds apiece, or more. For, Coyninge, I 
 know what a dashed dirty beggar you've always been in 
 money matters, and I very strongly suspect " 
 
 He paused, caught Kennada's eye, and put his hand on 
 the doctor's shoulder. 
 
 " Coyninge," solemnly, and in a low but distinct tone, 
 in startling contrast to his previous storminess " whose 
 name did you give in your pretended reading over of that 
 Will to the dying man your's, or mine ? " 
 
 138
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 if Oh, my God ! " groaned the doctor. 
 
 " You'd better make a clean breast of it, now that 
 you have a chance, Coyninge. Answer my question, sir. 
 Your's or mine ? " 
 
 The doctor was unnerved. His limbs shook and he 
 staggered into a chair. 
 
 " Give him a glass of water or shall I fetch some 
 spirits?" whispered Bryan, aghast, and deeply pained. 
 
 " I shall find it out, anyway. You can be silent now, 
 if you prefer : but you'll have to answer somewhere else." 
 
 " Don't, don't, for heaven's sake," murmured the doctor, 
 " I read out your name tojhim but I inserted my own." 
 He covered his face with his hands. 
 
 Then, between sighs and entreaties, it all came out. 
 He had appropriated what there was of free or available 
 money and convertible securities some four or five 
 thousand pounds ; had drawn and used the income 
 devolved from the death of the Captain's mother over 
 600 per annum as well as some rents and other receipts ; 
 and had usurped occupation of the house in St Stephen's 
 Green. 
 
 The Colonel did not fail to remind him of the calculated 
 cruelty and refined infamy with which he had treated 
 the boy whom he had so feloniously made his ward ; 
 denying him the education and even the common neces- 
 saries of his position ; seeking to degrade him ; to rob 
 him of his name and of the love and memory of his father , 
 treating a solitary helpless child as he had done, stealing 
 from him his youth, and bringing up his own family to 
 heap every kind of contumely and derision and humiliation 
 on him. 
 
 " And, all the while, you hound, you lived in his 
 house and on his money ! Tell me, sir, what is the 
 especial kind of damnation that you deserve ? "
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " I throw myself on your mercy, on your mercy," 
 sobbed the doctor, broken and unabashed. 
 
 He willingly detailed what Mr Kennada wished 
 particularly to know relative to young Portellis, thus 
 establishing his identity beyond any doubt or cavil, even 
 if no shred of other evidence, either direct or circum- 
 stantial, existed. 
 
 He perused, corrected and signed the statement, his 
 signature being attested by the Colonel and the solicitor. 
 
 It was of no use, he pleaded, being asked to furnish 
 accounts of his trusteeship. He would make what restitu- 
 tion he could but that would not be much. The house 
 
 "That," said Mr Kennada, "you must vacate at once. 
 You shall have a week's time but you must take nothing 
 but your and your family's personal belongings. I shall 
 put somebody into possession immediately " 
 
 Sir Bryan whispered to him. 
 
 " A very good idea, sir. By all means. Dr Coyninge, 
 you will do well to walk very warily, for you are, in 
 effect, in the hands of the law. No tricks, mind. If 
 Sir Bryan is disposed to extend to you any indulgence 
 at all it must depend upon your conduct. And, by all 
 that is holy ! I scarcely see how he can find it in his 
 heart to have one kindly thought for you, for your 
 conduct has been atrocious atrocious. Not merely 
 vulgar theft and swindling, but you wrecked his young 
 life. Even if you restore his money, can you give him 
 back his youth ? Still, it is for him to act " 
 
 "Please, please say no more now," entreated Sir 
 Bryan. 
 
 " It is so hard to stop when once you begin," urged 
 the doctor feebly. 
 
 " When you begin," angrily amended the Colonel, " and 
 when you never tried to stop." 
 
 140
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 The painful scene ended at last the doctor being 
 bidden to remain in the town and to present himself next 
 morning at Mr Kennada's office. 
 
 On his departure Versey was made exceedingly glad on 
 being appointed Sir Bryan's steward in Dublin at a salary 
 that seemed princely. 
 
 He received the necessary instructions, and formal 
 authorisation to take up his residence at once, with his 
 wife, in the house there, and to see that the doctor 
 removed nothing pertaining thereto. He would have 
 all necessary legal assistance from the Dublin solicitors. 
 
 He was also furnished with funds for the maintenance 
 of the house and ser^nts, and was despatched back by 
 the evening train. 
 
 Also, he was the bearer of Bryan's letter to Gerty. 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 MRS VERSEY had hurried to St Stephen's Green with Sir 
 Bryan's letter, which had come in that addressed to her 
 husband, and, by the servants' entrance, sought her sister. 
 
 She found her in her own room, faint and pale, with 
 wild hollow eyes, and bloodless lips. 
 
 " Hush ! " she almost gasped. " Don't tell me. I 
 know, I know. 
 
 "But Gerty" she always treated her sister as if she 
 were her daughter " it's great and glorious news, and 
 and I don't understand " 
 
 " Oh ! don't I thank God for it all for him ! And 
 it's selfish I am to think of myself " 
 
 " What do you mean, dear ? " 
 
 " Ah, can't you see that he must tear me out of his 
 heart ? It is not now as it was." 
 
 141
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " But he never will never fear." 
 
 " Oh, but he must. It's for his good. A great 
 gentleman but he was always that at heart a nobleman, 
 with tremendous fearsome riches, castles and parks, and 
 troops of men-servants, and horses and carriages, and 
 equal to the highest in the land ! And for him to think 
 of me ! Or, for me to shame him ! " 
 
 " You shame him, my darling ! " cried her sister 
 indignantly, kissing the beautiful, despairing, heroic girl. 
 " Is there a fairer, or dearer, or better " 
 
 She fondled and comforted her young sister, playing, 
 as she used to do, with the hair of the fair head which 
 the kneeling girl had bowed in her Jap ; and then came 
 the relieving tears. 
 
 At the same time, almost moment for moment, another 
 distressful scene was taking place in another room in that 
 house. 
 
 " Out of my house that young minx goes at once," 
 Mrs Coyninge exclaimed, with concentrated fury. 
 
 " But, mamma, we shall have a scene," began her eldest 
 daughter, the younger ones, frightened, keeping to their 
 own apartment. 
 
 " What ! you plead for her, you, you spiritless idiot 
 after losing him once " 
 
 " Oh, ma, please, please don't go on." 
 
 " And, I suppose, you would like him to see her when 
 he comes back, and to stand by, or in the background, as 
 the demure little cat lifts her eyes to him and then casts 
 them down, and pants and changes colour, and all but 
 melts into his eager arms " 
 
 Miss Coyninge rose, white to the lips, but restraining 
 herself with great effort. 
 
 " Mamma ! " Then she asked with a little smile, " Is 
 it so very certain that he is coming back ? " 
 
 142
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 " Certain ? Why, of course it is. One word, one look 
 from your father " 
 
 " Ah ! that was in the past ; but now " 
 
 " Bah ! Some lawyer fellow has found him, and he is 
 in a daze, and helpless and he is coming back with your 
 father. And that girl does not stay in my house another 
 hour. I'll pay her wages and notice money and and I've 
 a good mind to search her box before she leaves." 
 
 "What ! and have a policeman in, as was done in the 
 last cook's case ? Oh, no, no. Give me her money, please, 
 and I shall see her and settle things quietly and without 
 unpleasantness or fuss." 
 
 "Very well, very well; here it is. Oh, I could wish 
 that every coin were a snakebite to her ! " and she flung 
 out of the room. 
 
 Miss Coyninge rehearsed to herself how she should carry 
 out the business, and went up to Gerty's room, having 
 ascertained that she was there with her sister. The latter 
 circumstance promised to render matters easier and more 
 matter-of-fact. 
 
 " Take me away, dear," she heard Gerty's sobbing voice 
 say. " I must, I must go ; I cannot stay here. He may 
 come back, and he must not see me now. Perhaps the 
 Sisters will take me back to the Convent I can work, you 
 know " 
 
 " Yes, yes, dear. Only be calm. You shall leave this 
 house but wait till James comes back to-morrow at 
 latest. Bryan can't possibly get away for some days yet. 
 He said so in his letter. Oh, don't moan like that, 
 my poor child, or you'll break my heart as well." Her 
 own tears fell on the shining tresses strewn about her 
 knees." 
 
 "Mary." Gerty raised herself, still on her knees, and 
 looked at her sister. " Mine is not the only misery in this 
 
 H3
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 house perhaps, not even the worst, for it's brightened by 
 the thought of sacrifice, of renunciation " 
 
 " But, dear, if he does not want it, and would be made 
 only unhappy by it." 
 
 " It it would pass in time. He's a man, and other 
 things would help it is not as with us poor women. 
 How could I drag him down, perhaps shame him in his 
 grand new position ? The very thought scorches my 
 mind, and my selfishness would kill me, if my hurt pride 
 did not." 
 
 " Shame him, Gerty ! " answered her sister. " A 
 sweet, good, well-educated girl like you ? And our 
 parents, though they had fallen poor, very poor, of 
 late, were gentry time out of mind. How can you 
 talk so?" 
 
 " But she," went on Gerty, disregarding this apos- 
 trophe, " has not even that consolation ; she has only the 
 sting of self-reproach " 
 
 " She ! Who ? What do you mean, dear ? " 
 
 " Miss Coyninge Olivia," Gerty replied softly. 
 
 Miss Coyninge who had stood still, irresolute, curious, 
 excited, outside the partly-open chamber door, had not 
 lost a word of the conversation, from Gerty's entreaty 
 to be taken away started violently at the mention of her 
 name. 
 
 " Miss Coyninge ! " echoed Mrs Versey. 
 
 " Yes, dear. She loves him indeed she does : but 
 she found it out only after he had gone. And it's hope- 
 less hopeless. Can he ever forget what was a million 
 times worse than the bad treatment the insults and 
 ridicules heaped on him every moment of his life ? Oh, 
 I've seen him I've seen him livid, speechless, burning, 
 crying, mad with passion at the wanton cruelty of it 
 all. I've heard her low mocking laughs and titters when 
 
 144
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 he tried to slip away from sight because of his shabby 
 clothes " 
 
 " Shame, shame on her for a woman ! " cried her 
 sister. "And to think that all this while they were 
 living in poor Bryan's own house for James found out 
 that it belonged to his grandmother the Honourable Mrs 
 Portellis and, as likely as not, on his money. But, 
 thank God ! the day of reckoning has come at last, at 
 last." 
 
 " Oh, I pity her," resumed Gerty in gentle tones, 
 pursuing her own thoughts " I do pity her from my 
 heart for her's has got its sentence, and I know that 
 it's a sentence of death." 
 
 Miss Coyninge, trembling and -white, stole away like 
 a shadow, and tottered into her own room. 
 
 It was, then, his house, and now that this new light 
 was thrown upon many things that rushed to her memory 
 his money that her father and the family had been 
 using, whilst abusing him in most exquisite fashion from 
 helpless boyhood ! Oh, the branding falsehood, mean- 
 ness, cowardice, villainy of it all ! How dared she think 
 of her own feelings in view of all this ? 
 
 And, anyway, she knew that what Gerty had said was 
 true her love was hopeless. 
 
 It was just apart from her own vile conduct towards 
 him : for how could she ever look him in the face ? Even 
 if he were magnanimous enough, or stolid enough, to 
 forgive, could she ever forget, or cease to despise and 
 hate herself? 
 
 Yes it was " a sentence of death." 
 
 These words came again and again into her mind : not 
 to appal but almost as of deliverance and comfort, and 
 wooing her submission. 
 
 When, a little later, her mother sent for her, that 
 K 145
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 lady could not understand why the summary dismissal 
 had not taken place. The little matter was, however, 
 solved in an easy manner by Mrs Versey telling Mrs 
 Coyninge that Gerty was not well and desired to go 
 home with her. That gave the opportunity for the 
 intimation that she was not to return, clinched by the 
 monetary settlement. 
 
 The sisters were leaving Gerty's things to be removed 
 next day when Miss Coyninge, obeying an impulse 
 stronger than herself, threw her arms round the girl's 
 neck, kissed her, and hurried from the room to her 
 mother's dumbfounded amazement and disgust. 
 
 Gerty was surprised but understood. And so did 
 her sister. 
 
 The scenes which ensued on the doctor's arrival on the 
 following day must be left to the imagination. 
 
 Gerty wrote a few lines to Bryan rejoicing in his great 
 good fortune, and promising to write at greater length 
 in a day or two. She was not, she explained, feeling 
 very well, and was staying with her sister. He was not 
 to come to see her until she had again written to him. 
 It was a simple, affectionate little note. 
 
 Two days later, whilst nearly at the end of dinner, 
 a couple of letters were brought to him. 
 
 " Oh, certainly, read them by all means," smilingly 
 said Mrs O'Flaherty as she noted his brightened face 
 and shining eyes. 
 
 One of the letters he merely glanced at, turned over, 
 and thrust indifferently into a pocket. The other he 
 opened eagerly. 
 
 His expression quickly changed from glad expectancy 
 to something like consternation. Pale and distraught, 
 he rose, sat down again, and leant his head on his 
 hand. 
 
 146
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 "Why, Bryan," began Dion; but his mother gave him 
 a look, and he stopped. 
 
 " You are upset about something," said she gently 
 
 to him. "Don't mind us, if you'd like to retire " 
 
 "Oh, Mrs O'Flaherty, I I " his voice failed him. 
 He pulled himself gamely together, and added, " Pray, 
 advise me." He handed her the letter. 
 
 She cast a glance at her daughter and the other ladies, 
 who, in a minute or two, filed out into the drawing-room, 
 whilst the gentlemen engaged in conversation of an un- 
 usually animated description ; and then they melted away 
 to smoke, or play billiards or otherwise occupy them- 
 selves. 
 
 "Perhaps," said Sir Bryan, with still that desperate 
 face, " perhaps, the Colonel and Mr Brady will kindly 
 
 help me and Dion " 
 
 " Of course they will I mean they shall," replied 
 Mrs O'Flaherty. A word retained them in the room. 
 
 She returned him the letter, and her eyes were 
 dimmed. 
 
 It was from Gerty, but enclosed in one from Versey 
 who wrote that it had been sent to his wife with the 
 request that it should be posted only on the following 
 day. As, however, her letter to her sister was one of 
 farewell and intimating that she, with letters of recom- 
 mendation to the Sisterhood in New York, was on the 
 point of sailing at once he had thought it his duty to 
 disregard the instruction to delay and had, therefore, 
 posted her letter at once, hoping to be pardoned if, 
 in doing so, he might seem to be officious. 
 
 Gerty's letter was very simple and very touching. 
 It was, she wrote, because she loved him so dearly, 
 and always would, that she went away. She would be 
 on the seas by the time he read these lines. She en-
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 treated him to forget her, and she would, all the rest 
 of her life, think of him and pray for his happiness 
 and she willingly sacrificed her own for his dear sake. 
 She thanked Heaven for his coming to his own and she 
 would never regret this going away, for it was because 
 she loved him, and could not bear the thought of shaming 
 him for she knew well that titles and riches would not 
 change him ; and he must, please, not mind the tear- 
 marks on the paper, but consider them her last kisses 
 to him, and this letter her last, last farewell. 
 
 "Oh, what shall I do what shall I do?" cried he 
 desperately. " I wish that this title and money had been 
 anybody else's, and I still a poor private soldier ! 
 Can't I get to Dublin to-night ? " he asked wildly. " Or 
 or, wherever it is the ship starts from ? " 
 
 The Colonel was visibly displeased. The idea of this 
 well-born, wealthy, good-looking young fellow seriously 
 retaining his affection for a domestic servant and, what 
 seemed more preposterous and even wicked, an honour- 
 able affection was most repugnant to him, from the 
 social point of view. He scowled and rumbled his 
 sentiments into his moustache in an incoherent but dis- 
 contented manner. 
 
 Dion, too, felt uncomfortable and distressed. He 
 genuinely liked Bryan, and he, therefore, all the more, 
 shared his father's views on the folly of attaching any im- 
 portance to such a trifle as a young man's passing fancy 
 for a pretty serving-maid. 
 
 Mr Brady was reflective and grave. The greater part 
 of his life had been spent in the United States ; he was, 
 he never forgot, the son of a northern peasant, and his wife 
 was the daughter of an artificer j and he had neither care 
 for nor sympathy with unreasonable notions of caste, nor 
 exaggerated ideas of family or blood. 
 
 148
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 "Oh, Mr Brady," said Mrs O'Flaherty, appealingly, 
 " what is to be done ? Do, please, advise us." 
 
 "I have been thinking," said he quietly. "But let us 
 see where we are. Sir Bryan : answer me truly. Are you 
 sure of your feelings towards this young lady ? Sure 
 of your feelings, and clear and honourable of your 
 intentions ? " 
 
 " As I stand here, and speak before God and you all 
 I am," solemnly said Bryan. " I love her no, it is not 
 merely gratitude because she was the only creature on 
 earth who was kind to me but I love her, and I swear 
 that I shall marry no one else. And, oh, I would rather 
 be back again in the ranks, a hundred times over, and know 
 that we are united in heart, and waiting for each other, 
 than have all the titles and glories of the land." 
 
 " H'm ! " growled the Colonel. He also said a good 
 many other things to himself. 
 
 Dion pressed Bryan's hand. Patricia Brady was, with 
 his sisters, in the drawing-room, and his heart went out to 
 his friend when he heard his firm and manly avowal. 
 
 " You hear him," said Mrs O'Flaherty. " Oh, I am 
 sure that he truly means every word he says." 
 
 " Truly ! " said Bryan. " Aye, dear Mrs O'Flaherty, 
 so truly that I shall follow her, and seek her, and if I 
 never find her I shall never come back and let who will 
 take title and money, for I shall hate both since they 
 will have deprived me of her." 
 
 " I believe you," impressively said Mr Brady, after a 
 short pause. " And now to business. Please sit down, 
 and I think I can manage matters. This is how they 
 stand : " 
 
 He referred to a printed card and some papers which 
 he had in his pocket-book. 
 
 " The vessel that leaves Queenstown to-morrow for 
 149
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 New York is the Ormuzda. All her passengers are 
 already embarked, and she rides ready to start so soon as 
 the night mail arrives and the letter bags are on board. 
 Now, there's no train to-night from Ballynoggin to either 
 Dublin or Cork ; and there's none in the morning that will 
 get in in time before the vessel is off." 
 
 "Then what's to be done ?" cried Dion, whilst Bryan, 
 more inured to endurance, waited for the solution which 
 he felt convinced would be forthcoming. 
 
 "Well, Dion," answered Mr Brady with a smile, 
 " we'll have to race the Mail Express." 
 
 " Well, but how, if the morning trains won't fit," again 
 said Dion. 
 
 "We shall have a special train. You know I am a 
 director of this railway, and that may facilitate matters. 
 I shall at once write and telegraph. May I do so here, 
 Mrs O'Flaherty ? Thanks." 
 
 Writing materials were spread on a side table, and he 
 was busy for some minutes, whilst everybody watched him 
 in silence. 
 
 " Yes this will do. Instructions to the locomotive 
 superintendent and the station-master to arrange for a 
 special train at seven o'clock to-morrow morning. A 
 telegram to the captain and one to the purser of the ship, 
 and another to the bank manager at Cork to order a fast 
 launch or tug to have steam up on our arrival, to reach, or 
 follow, the Ormuzda ; also to have a hundred pounds 
 handy and letter of credit for a couple more, and to meet 
 us. I'm a director of the bank." 
 
 *' Us ? " queried Dion. 
 
 "Certainly; I'll accompany him and see him on board. 
 We shall, if there's no mishap, run ahead of the mail train, 
 I'm allowing for distance, time, and engine power. I am 
 
 also arranging for some minor matters " 
 
 150
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 " God bless you, Mr Brady," said the young baronet, 
 with full heart and choking voice. 
 
 " Oh, dad, please let me go, too. I shall come back 
 with Mr Brady. I'll ask the Major for leave," pleaded 
 Dion. 
 
 The Colonel would have liked to say that he would have 
 no hand in such tomfoolery ; but he thought better of it, 
 and compromised by washing his hands of the entire 
 matter, and everybody might do as he pleased, only don't 
 ask him. 
 
 " Now, you two boys go and pack Bryan's trunk for 
 he must make up his mind to go the voyage. It's not in 
 the least likely that the Captain by the way, I know him 
 well, its crusty, kind old Allknot will delay one tick of 
 his watch for anybody living ; and it would take a long 
 time to find any particular passenger ; and I'm sure that it 
 would take still longer to get her to change her mind 
 after showing so much resolution and character. And, 
 Sir Bryan, although I have not seen her, she's worth all 
 the trouble, and we'll drink to her health now, if we may, 
 Mrs O'Flaherty. Come, Colonel, old friend : smooth your 
 brow, and fill your glass. Sir Bryan good luck to you, 
 and to your love ! Hurrah ! " 
 
 A horse was put to and Mr Brady, himself, drove to the 
 station, returning to the Hall, where it was arranged that 
 he, and his daughter, remain the night a message to that 
 effect being sent to Mrs Brady. 
 
 The trunk packing did not take long, and the two young 
 gentlemen joined the ladies, and great was the excitement 
 when the latter were told what has been narrated. 
 
 " Oh, Vally," said Patricia, " what would I not give to 
 accompany them to-morrow ! " 
 
 " Yes, Patsey," replied "Valentina, " what a nuisance 
 we're not men ! But why shouldn't we go as far as
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Queenstown, and come back with your father and Dion ? 
 Do ask him, there's a duck." 
 
 But these aspirations had to be repressed. 
 
 Whether any but the servants those endowed burghers 
 of life, sequestered from its noise and strife, free from 
 cares for the morrow and indifferent, for the most part, to 
 the duties of to-day slept much that night in the Hall it 
 were hard to assert with assurance. 
 
 Before six o'clock next morning the girls were down 
 fresh, bright and vivacious as the birds. Geraldine 
 Bryne, who had dined with them the night before, also 
 came along, with her sisters. 
 
 It was a delicious, delirious time altogether, and their 
 voices made morning yet more sweet. That early 
 breakfast of Mr Brady and Sir Bryan and Dion ! 
 
 All the girls waited on them in beautiful and bewitching 
 confusion. They could almost have fed them as well as 
 tended on them. They were resolved that the gentlemen 
 must eat a good deal all women think that men have 
 unlimited aims and capacities of a gastric nature and they 
 were equally anxious that they should not miss the train. 
 Naturally, they did not reflect that as it was their special 
 train, bound to wait for them, they could not well miss it. 
 But solicitude is happiness to a woman, as well as merit. 
 
 Their pretty little offices about the early breakfast table 
 were well meant, but Bryan was too preoccupied to be 
 sufficiently appreciative, and Mr Brady old campaigner 
 that he was was too unheeding. 
 
 But Dion could not help a little expostulation. 
 
 " Look here, now, girls," he protested. " Here's 
 somebody spilled a lot of sugar over the bacon and 
 eggs : and Oh, this must be you, Patsey there's some 
 Worcester sauce in my coffee. And how is any fellow 
 to eat ham when there's a lot of marmalade trickling all 
 
 152
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 over it, and who wants pancakes afloat in anchovy sauce ? 
 Oh, go away, do, half a dozen of you ! " 
 
 It was a sympathetic and exciting leave-taking. Mrs 
 O'Flaherty kissed Bryan in her gentle motherly way ; and 
 the impulsive Patricia kissed him ostensibly it was a kiss 
 to his sweetheart who, she was sure, must be nice and 
 good ; and Valentina and all the other girls charged him 
 with similar delightful messages. 
 
 There were cheers and tears and much enthusiasm in 
 the send-off, and at last the carriage was out of sight, 
 and they all gathered indoors and relieved the tension of 
 their feelings in a unanimous and most comforting little 
 cry. 
 
 Then they fell upon that breakfast table and cleared 
 everything before them incongruities not noticed, and 
 the rehearsal not counting, as they were to have breakfast 
 as usual at half past eight ; and they all talked together, 
 for this was romance indeed. Here was the newly-found 
 heir, and so handsome and modest ; and his sweetheart, a 
 humble maid, escaping from him across the ocean so as not 
 to mar his position, breaking her heart and giving up her 
 happiness for love of him ; and he now speeding like the 
 wind, in a special train all to himself, to reach her before 
 her ship leaves the shore to win her back, or go with 
 her! 
 
 What a knight ! What a prince ! Who shall say now 
 that romance was a thing of the past, or that poetry was 
 only in books ? 
 
 They drank up the tepid tea and coffee and the milk, 
 and ate impartially all there was, and were almost in- 
 toxicated with the thrilling drama. 
 
 They felt as if they stepped on air and begged Mrs 
 O'Flaherty to have breakfast at half-past seven instead of 
 the usual time, an hour later.
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 The Colonel smoked in ferocious mood, to the ac- 
 companiment of pale brandy and mineral waters. He 
 kept growling to himself that it was all dashed, blamed, 
 and blanked nonsense and rubbish, and that everybody 
 except himself had gone staring, howling mad, and that 
 that He looked round to see that nobody was near, 
 and raised his glass. 
 
 "Damme! He's a gentleman to the ultimate atom of 
 his dashed backbone. A splendid fellow, begad ! Here's 
 to him dashed young fool ! " 
 
 The accelerated breakfast was despatched with an un- 
 reserved thoroughness and zest which proved that early 
 hours, high spirits, emotional exercise, and an exhaustive 
 preliminary canter on a tableful of promiscuous edibles in 
 novel and even hazardous combinations, are excellent 
 appetizers occasionally. 
 
 Chapter IV 
 
 IT was one of the newest and, unquestionably, the best 
 locomotive of Mr Brady's Company that raced the Dublin 
 Mail Express on that eventful morning. 
 
 It was a momentous and unforgettable ride for at least 
 two the younger two of the passengers. Mr Brady, 
 with pencil, watch, and notebook was making comparative 
 tables of speed, places and distances. From time to time 
 he made remarks indicative of his observations and com- 
 putations, such as : 
 
 " H'm ! Mail Express should now be round about 
 So-and-So, so many miles out, so many miles off 
 reckoning at fifty-eight and two-thirds miles per hour, 
 on average. We're doing about fifty-one ! " 
 
 "We've over half-an-hour in hand and h'm ! gaining
 
 somewhat. Gain will run off in watering and incidental 
 losses : but we'll do, if we maintain our rate." 
 
 " H'm yes! My figures are all right proper allow- 
 ances for relative distances and different times of starting. 
 We've only got to keep her running keep her running, at 
 this pace." 
 
 Bryan, full of anxious thoughts and strung-up feelings 
 scarce took his eyes from Mr Brady. He watched, dog- 
 like, every motion, glance and expression of face, as if he 
 controlled his fate. 
 
 Dion was buoyant, excited, interested, curious, 
 sympathetic. He smoked a good deal and then went to 
 sleep over one of his prospective father-in-law's news- 
 papers. 
 
 That gentleman admired Sir Bryan's remarkable self- 
 control. He saw clearly that beneath the enforced calm 
 there was intense suspense, hope, fear, impatience : and 
 he formed a high opinion of the young man's real strength 
 of character. 
 
 "We're getting on," said he, almost pained at the 
 strained eyes and the awful silence. " Barring accidents 
 we shall be alongside nearly half-an-hour before the Postal 
 tender, as I calculate it." 
 
 " Thanks, a thousand thanks, Mr Brady," answered the 
 Baronet, " but oh, if we should miss her if there should 
 be some mishap or impediment, or accident ? " 
 
 " Ah, well, Bryan," said Mr Brady slowly and coolly, 
 " I've thought of that, too for everything is possible, 
 especially the unforeseen. If we do miss the Ormuzda, 
 we shall cable to friends in New York who will not lose 
 sight of the young lady from the moment of her landing. 
 You can follow by another ship the day after to-morrow." 
 
 Sir Bryan jumped up and pressed his hand. 
 
 " Shall I ever be able to thank you as I should for your 
 155
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 wonderful kindness to me ! You have given me new life 
 and hope." 
 
 " Ah," said Mr Brady, " that reminds me. Here are 
 two or three letters of introduction to personal friends 
 of mine in New York all sound, influential people. 
 They may be useful to you there should you require 
 any advice, or help, or money. You see, you are young 
 and inexperienced, and you will be in a strange city." 
 
 " You are indeed most thoughtful and kind. I shall 
 never forget it." 
 
 At last they were in Queenstown; the Dublin Mail 
 Express had not yet arrived, but was expected in about 
 twenty minutes. 
 
 The bank manager had carried out his instructions. 
 Mr Brady gave him his cheque for the money and the 
 letter of credit which he had brought, and the party went 
 on board the waiting launch and steamed out to the 
 Ormuzda, alongside which she made fast, and the three 
 gentlemen mounted the side of the great vessel. 
 
 " Well, if this isn't Mr Brady, now ! " exclaimed a 
 hearty voice belonging to a middle-aged lady, whose thin, 
 oval face failed to prepare an observer for the massive 
 shoulders and rotund opulencies of her sufficient figure. 
 
 " Ah, my dear Mrs Weeves, I'm delighted to see you. 
 Crossing ? I'm particularly glad. Excuse me a moment 
 while I speak to the captain, and arrange about my 
 young friend's passage. We shall return in a few 
 minutes." 
 
 "This is particularly lucky," he remarked to his two 
 companions. " She's a dear, good-hearted woman; widow 
 of a one-time partner of mine. She'll be like a mother to 
 you, Bryan ; I'm sure of that." 
 
 Captain Allknott severe, rigid and aloof as he was, 
 especially at such a moment as the present was, never- 
 
 156
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 theless, pleased to see Mr Brady and hear his explanation 
 of his telegram and of Sir Bryan's position and objects. 
 
 The old man grinned and promised to look after the 
 young fellow, who, as Mr Brady told him, didn't know 
 the knave of clubs from the seven of diamonds, nor a 
 bird of paradise from a rook with a painted tail, but was 
 as high-minded and clean-hearted a gentleman as ever 
 stepped from a three-decked novel into real everyday life. 
 
 *' I'll see to him, Mr Brady ; I'll put myself in your 
 place. And I pity the gambler or shark who tries to steer 
 or to scoop him. Quartermaster : ask the purser to be 
 kind enough to come to me." 
 
 The purser, of course, made the usual difficulties ; but 
 everything ended with smiles all round ; Bryan's luggage 
 was installed in a cosy little state-room, and, what gratified 
 him very much more, the presence of Gertrude Cole, 
 spinster, was established as a passenger in the steerage. 
 
 All agreed that the best plan was for Sir Bryan to go 
 the voyage. 
 
 It was a striking compliment to Mr Brady, and evidence 
 of old friendship and of present interest, that Captain 
 Allknott descended for five minutes to his cabin to join 
 in a bottle of champagne the libation which Mr Brady 
 insisted upon pouring on this remarkable occasion. 
 
 " Mail tender loading up, sir," reported an officer, and 
 the Captain shook hands and went up to his bridge. 
 
 Mr Brady introduced the two young gentlemen to 
 Mrs Weeves. 
 
 He whispered something in her ear, and she cried : 
 
 "What, little Patsey ! And now engaged to be married ! 
 Well, well ! Sir, I congratulate you, with all my heart, 
 and and now that I look at you I congratulate her also," 
 and she seized Dion's hands and swung his arms as if at 
 some quaint country dance. 
 
 157
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Then she was told about Sir Bryan, and what had led 
 to his being there now a passenger to New York. 
 
 She was greatly charmed and interested, and straight- 
 way took charge of the proceedings and of the personages 
 therein. 
 
 She was a wealthy widow, now childless, with much 
 energy, shrewdness, and kindliness. 
 
 " I think if I may say so that it's a providential thing 
 that you are here," said Mr Brady to her, apart. " Sir 
 Bryan is utterly ignorant of the world ; lost his mother in 
 infancy, his father in boyhood, and his life, until now, has 
 been a miserable, lonely, horrible victimisation. Be a 
 mother to him, my dear Mrs Weeves. I have not seen 
 this this young lady. I hope that she is worthy of all 
 this pure, exalted, knightly devotion." 
 
 Dion wrung Bryan's hands and bade him all sorts of 
 good luck, and to come back soon. Mr Brady, too, took 
 a warm farewell of him and of Mrs Weeves, and took off 
 his hat to the Captain ; and so, with much waving of hands 
 and handkerchiefs, the little launch cast off, making room 
 for the Mail tender. 
 
 By the time they stepped ashore the last letter bags had 
 been put on board, and within a few minutes more, the 
 Ormuzda, with her precious freightage of fate or fortune, 
 started on her course across the ocean. 
 
 Bryan had never been to sea before except when, as a 
 child, he came from India ; and he was uncomfortable and 
 unhappy and ill for the first couple of days. 
 
 Mrs Weeves, who was a robust and undismayed sailor, 
 and made the voyage several times every year, looked after 
 him and nursed and cheered him with affectionate care and 
 zeal. 
 
 She was also able to impart the delightful medicament 
 of good news, for, as she told him, she had been visiting 
 
 I 5 8
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 the forward passengers several times daily, with little 
 helps and comforts for the women and children. She had 
 found Miss Cole Gerty who, she was evidently pleased 
 to say, was not in the least sea-sick, but, on the contrary, 
 brightened up all around her with her willing service and 
 pleasant smile and sweet face. 
 
 "She has not the remotest suspicion of your being on 
 board," said she. " Of course, I made not the slightest 
 allusion or sign that I know anything. Only, I contrived, 
 indirectly, to get out that she remained below from the 
 moment she came on board until the vessel was actually 
 under way. Sir Bryan ah, well then, Bryan she's a 
 dear girl so gentle, and pretty and good. Why, her 
 soft, great eyes seem to show clear down to a heart like a 
 child's or an angel's. I'm all impatience to see you 
 together, and I've a spare berth in my state-room for 
 her." 
 
 So she rattled on, supremely happy, busy and excited. 
 
 She had some friends on board some whom she had- 
 known in America, some whom she had met in London or 
 Paris, and some with whom she had forgathered since 
 leaving Liverpool. 
 
 To these, during the first two days of the voyage, she 
 had imparted bits of the idyll of which that ship was the 
 theatre ; but she maintained a wise and strict reserve as to 
 the young lady, lest curiosity hurt the young people's 
 feelings, or indiscretion mar the beauty and poetry of the 
 play. 
 
 Every feminine bosom was in blissful effervescence, and 
 each that owned a lord or, at all events, a male person 
 unburdened itself with a more or less incorrect version of 
 the story. 
 
 It was only on the third day that Sir Bryan was able to 
 appear on deck with assurance and ease. 
 
 159
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Mrs Weeves, who had a managing spirit, a mind for 
 detail, and an eye for effect, saw to it that he should look 
 his best. 
 
 She had sent to him the ship's barber, and she had 
 inspired his sectional steward with a wholesome sentiment 
 of his charge's importance, his own duties, and her poten- 
 tial liberality or as the case might be influence with 
 the Board. 
 
 And, finally, she had herself seen to a few little touches, 
 and when she, at length, walked in with him to breakfast, 
 he was promptly voted as certainly handsome and dis- 
 tinguished, and, withal, modest and natural. 
 
 All the ladies regarded him with unfeigned, and even 
 rapt, interest and admiration. 
 
 Mrs Weeves had formed a good many ingenious plots 
 and plans for him melodramatic, sensational, tender, 
 triumphant : but he laughingly declined them all. He 
 had the genius as well as the instinct of simplicity. 
 
 But he willingly accepted her advice and guidance 
 when once she abandoned her own little schemings. 
 
 "Wait until after their dinner-time," she counselled, re- 
 ferring to the steerage passengers. "The men will be 
 gathering in groups and smoking or reading or playing 
 draughts or cards ; and the women will be dozing, or 
 seeing to the children, or sewing, and chatting in little knots. 
 She generally sits by herself when not helping or reading 
 to the others mostly looking out at the sea thinking, 
 thinking poor thing ! I've watched her. Oh, don't sigh 
 like that, my dear boy, it will all come right perhaps, 
 before the day is over." 
 
 " Oh, I hope so. How kind you are ! " 
 
 "Now, don't be impatient, but just listen. You've got 
 your sea-legs, and sea-appetite, and sea-looks now but 
 you mustn't rush these things. 
 
 1 60
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 " Heigho ! " 
 
 "Oh, yes, I know. "Well, I shall be going forward, 
 as I do every day, with some fruit and sweets for the 
 women and children, and books and so forth. You keep 
 your eye on me but pull your cap well over your face. 
 I shall give you a signal so that nobody else will notice," 
 she tied a piece of white tulle over her hat and under her 
 chin. "When you see that, make your way down quietly 
 amongst the men and work gradually to where she sits 
 generally, half-turned round, with her back to the 
 ship and her wistful face on the water ahead. Now, 
 come away and don't spoil everything by being seen 
 first." 
 
 Mrs Weeves was forced to show herself stern and resolute 
 as regarded the other anxious ladies in the secret. It was 
 the moment for the strictest discipline. 
 
 It befell almost as designed by that clever manageress. 
 
 She would have dearly liked to play some more active 
 part such as preparing Miss Cole by the narration of 
 a little story, a sort of parable, corresponding to the 
 real inner facts as known to her alone, and then, 
 at the crucial or propitious instant, Sir Bryan appears 
 and she effaces herself in his embrace, and all is 
 bliss. 
 
 But she very soon perceived that he was far too 
 genuine and sincere for any display of a striking or 
 theatrical nature : he was too real for even any semblance 
 of unreality. 
 
 Gerty was sitting in the posture described by Mrs 
 Weeves a book on her lap, and her head, over which a 
 coloured little shawl was tied, turned seawards. 
 
 It was with a beating, almost a leaping, heart that he 
 found himself beside her. 
 
 " Gerty," he said, in a low tone. 
 L 161
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 She started violently, slowly turned her head, rose to 
 her feet, and stared at him for an instant with wild, 
 dilated eyes. 
 
 Then, with a half-stifled scream, she curved an arm 
 round his neck, and he clasped her tightly and covered 
 her face with kisses. 
 
 She quickly disengaged herself, sat down and, seeming 
 to hold him off with her hands, burst into tears a sort 
 of wailing heart-broken crying, infinitely painful to 
 behold. 
 
 The women sitting round about her, who had observed 
 everything with their keen eyes, yet with the natural 
 delicacy and respect of the lower-class Irish folk, at this 
 point began to think that something was wrong and 
 was calling for sympathy, support and the summary 
 diligence of the strong and sudden right arm. They 
 exchanged looks full of intelligence, resolve, and indigna- 
 tion ; and the men scowled and said things to themselves 
 and to each other. There was the growing feeling 
 of pugnacity, heated by the unselfish passion of un- 
 reasoning partisanship, and fortified by the convictions 
 of incorrect theory. It was the muttering of the gather- 
 ing storm. 
 
 "Oh, why, why did you come?" moaned Gerty, 
 wringing her hands almost despairingly. "I I wanted 
 to get away, for ever ; to be as one dead to you 
 buried in the big new world away from you. And you 
 followed me ! Oh, why did you, why did you, why 
 did you?" 
 
 " Aye," said a deep-bosomed motherly woman, unable 
 to repress herself further whilst the others closed round 
 and approached, encouraging her with glances, nods and 
 ejaculations " Aye, sir why did you ? You have, as 
 we can all see, brought the sorrow to the loving heart 
 
 162
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 of her, and darkened her young life. And now, when 
 the poor crature is for struggling to shake free, and is 
 flying for escape and peace and a new life, you come 
 wid your good looks and your power o' money and your 
 deludhering tongue ! Oh, it's black and it's cruel, and 
 it's meself will prevent ye and protect her, if I die 
 for it, begorra ! for it's the mother o' girls I am, 
 meself." 
 
 " And so will we," cried a number of voices ; and 
 " Shame on him ! " exclaimed others. Some of the men 
 growled : " Overboard with him ! " 
 
 Mrs Weeves, who had been keeping in the back- 
 ground, became so frightened at these hostile denuncia- 
 tions that she was on the point of rushing forward with 
 an explanation ; but she was reassured as she saw Sir 
 Bryan's face. 
 
 He raised his hand to command silence and attention, 
 and, with a pleasant smile, snswered the champion 
 spokeswoman : 
 
 " Mother, and all you ladies, I hope you will help 
 to prevent folly and to protect this dear girl against 
 herself. Nay, dear, I will tell them everything" he 
 took her hand which she left in his " for if I can't 
 persuade you, myself, they will, I am sure, advise you 
 to listen to the voice of your own heart. Come nearer, 
 all of you, and I will tell you, and you shall judge. 
 And, more than that, you shall hear the story of the 
 dearest and most self-sacrificing of all the dear women 
 who have ever loved truly." 
 
 He sat down beside Gerty who averted her face, but 
 did not withdraw her hand from his. 
 
 "No, no, no," she remonstrated. 
 
 " Ah, but I must, dear," said he firmly yet tenderly. 
 
 The steerage passengers that is, those who were Irish, 
 163
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 for all others were unceremoniously elbowed out of the 
 circle sat and stood around, and the young man told them 
 the tale in simple unaffected language. 
 
 "And," he was nearing the conclusion, "I followed 
 next morning in a special train " 
 
 "That's a train ordered special, all for himself, with 
 only one carriage to it, and dhivil take everything else on 
 the line. I know, for I've worked on the railway, bedad ! " 
 explained one of the men. 
 
 " Yes, that's so. A steamboat was kept ready by 
 telegraph and brought me on board just about half an 
 hour before this ship started. And then ha, ha, ha ! I 
 was a couple of days before I got my sea-legs as they call 
 it. And now here I am " 
 
 " Yes, worse luck ! But why ? No good I'll go bail," 
 said a gruff, stern-looking man. 
 
 " Ah, but, you shall hear. I told you how we parted, 
 and how she broke her dead mother's ring, and we each 
 kept a half I've got mine now, next to my heart and 
 promised to be faithful and true to each other. And how 
 I tramped to enlist in a certain Regiment, that my father 
 had been an officer in ; and how I suddenly came into a 
 title and great, great wealth and property. And I want 
 to tell you now that they are all nothing in the world to 
 me, without her " 
 
 She glanced up at him piteously, proudly, lovingly, 
 appealingly. 
 
 "In my darkest time, when I was lonely, poor and 
 wretched beyond words or even thought, she alone 
 cheered me and loved me ; and was sunshine and 
 life to me. And now, because I've come to my own 
 
 name and wealth that neither of us dreamt of 
 
 she runs away ! Is it because you no longer love me, 
 
 dear?" 
 
 164
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 " Oh, no, no, Bryan," she sobbed. " You know that it 
 is because because I do." 
 
 " You darling ! But you're a little goose all the 
 same. Do you hear this, mother, and all of you ? 
 Because she loves me, she says, she runs away from 
 me ; out of the fulness and perfection of her love, 
 because I'm rich and all that. Isn't that nonsense, 
 now ? " 
 
 "Oh, Bryan," she exclaimed turning her flushed face 
 on him, " am I going to shame you or drag you down, 
 and let people point, and smile, and say that your wife 
 my lady, Lady Portellis was a housemaid, and washed 
 down the front steps ? " 
 
 He laughed heartily as he replied to this question 
 urged with such tragic passion and ending with such an 
 anti-climax : 
 
 "Well, suppose they do? Didn't I clean the boots 
 and knives, and carry up the coals, and wash the bottles, 
 and eat broken victuals when I got them ? And I 
 was worse still, for I had no wages at all, and no time 
 out, and got to be ashamed to show myself because "of 
 the cast-off rags on me, and of my toes being through 
 the discarded boots, sizes too broad for me ha, 
 ha, ha!" 
 
 "And you can laugh?" cried Gerty, splendid in her 
 wrath. " Ah, the memory of it burns on my heart until I 
 could almost upbraid the patient heavens, or call down the 
 anger of God on them. For, think of it, oh, think of it 
 it was his own, his very own great house in St Stephen's 
 Green, and all the fine furniture and all the grand 
 pictures, and all the beautiful old silver, and every- 
 thing, everything were all his, and the big money they 
 were spending on their high living and fine clothes and 
 carriages, all his : and he starved and abused and stuck 
 
 165
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 into a garret ! Ah, it was shameful and wicked ! But 
 they're found out now." 
 
 " Well, dear, that's all over, and the brighter day has 
 
 come for you and me " 
 
 " For you, dear and I thank the good God from the 
 
 core of my heart. But not for me " 
 
 " Now, mother, isn't this unreasonable ? Well then, 
 Gerty, I go with you. I shall never go back to Ireland 
 to claim either title or property or money. We can be as 
 we were when we shared that broken ring between us, 
 poor and happy, and together ; for I can be a labourer or 
 a policeman or a chemist's assistant, with the wife of my 
 heart. I swear it by the sky above us and the sea around 
 us, and by Him who made them ! " 
 
 "Oh, hear him, honey, and be sensible," began the 
 buxom matron. Then she plumped to her knees and 
 on them waddled up to Sir Bryan, as if in penance or 
 worship at a shrine, and kissed the edge of his blue serge 
 jacket. 
 
 "Now, may all the saints in hiv'n bless your noble face 
 and your heart o' gold ! It's not for nothing that you're 
 strong and fresh and grand like a glorious young morning 
 the Lord be praised for the mighty pains He took to 
 make you an Irishman ! " 
 
 These sentiments were endorsed by the audience with 
 much poetic variety of expression and great fervour of 
 accord. 
 
 Mrs Weeves here gently intervened with her fine 
 tact. 
 
 " And all the ladies in the cabin are just dying to hug 
 you, my dear," said she. 
 
 "Me, madam?" asked Gerty, surprised. 
 " Yes, just you, for I told them something about you 
 two dear things, while he was lying ill in his cabin what 
 
 166
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 with the sea-sickness and the nervous upset. Mr Brady 
 gave me all the particulars. He is an old friend of 
 mine " 
 
 "It's Squire Brady," interposed the railway man, "he's 
 a director of the railway company, and of the bank, and a 
 magistrate and a great man entirely. I saw him come on 
 board with the gentleman here." 
 
 " And his only daughter, Patricia, sent you all kinds 
 
 of sweet messages, and a kiss. Here it is " and 
 
 Bryan promptly delivered it, and laughed like a boy. 
 "And so did the Colonel's daughters and their mother, 
 and " 
 
 Gerty laughed as she fended him off from further con- 
 veyance of those special consignments ; and the audience, 
 throbbing with enthusiastic interest, shouted with merri 
 ment and did some step-dancing. Then, with quick 
 change of mood, she stood up, as did he, gave him both 
 her hands, and held up her grave rosy face, with the 
 lustrous trustful eyes, to his. 
 
 He bent his head, and in the presence of them all the 
 lips of these two loving simple creatures met in a long 
 kiss. It was all plainly sealed and settled, and there were 
 such ringing cries and West Country yells, and Erse ex- 
 clamations or quotations and other shrill expositions 
 of joy that the very stokers rushed up to know the 
 reason. 
 
 "Will you throw me overboard now?" laughingly 
 asked Sir Bryan. 
 
 "No, your honour," said the railwayman, "but, be- 
 gorra ! we'll heave out the man what said it. Show him 
 to me." 
 
 "Indeed, you will do nothing of the kind. I want to 
 shake hands with him, for he spoke from honest indigna- 
 tion at what he thought was wrong. And I want to 
 
 16?
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 thank you all from my heart all you, countrymen and 
 countrywomen of my own for your kindly sympathy for 
 my wife as she will shortly be, and for me." 
 
 " Long loife to the dear pair of ye ! " answered a chorus 
 of voices. 
 
 " I want one of you men to make me a list of every 
 man, woman and child among you who is Irish. I want 
 everyone of them to have a little keepsake from us. And, 
 meanwhile, your steward shall have a shilling a day for 
 everyone of you, babies and all, for such little extras 
 or comforts as you may prefer and that the ship can 
 supply." 
 
 There was laughter and outcries of pleasure and grati- 
 tude : but without the fine free zest, and abandonment of 
 disinterested satisfaction, which had characterised their 
 previous applause. 
 
 " You will share my cabin, dear," said Mrs Weeves, 
 " I have a spare berth in it. And look here, friends 
 I'm going, right here and now, to engage that self-same 
 cabin for the voyage home, and I'm going to be as a mother to 
 her, until she becomes Sir Bryan's wife in his own country. 
 I have no children of my own now ; and Mr Brady was 
 a partner once of my dear husband. Now, that's fixed 
 up clear, I reckon. Come, dear." 
 
 There was some difficulty, however, about this point of 
 changing her quarters. It was not until Bryan had said 
 that he would move to the steerage if she persisted in 
 remaining there, and on the impressive advice of the soft- 
 hearted and massive lady who had first led the attack on 
 her behalf, that she at last consented but on the condition 
 that she should effect the removal during the saloon dinner 
 hour. 
 
 That evening Mrs Weeves and Gerty, attended by the 
 former's maid, dined in that lady's cabin. 
 
 1 68
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 A ship at sea, like a cathedral close, is a whispering 
 gallery. 
 
 When, next morning, Mrs Weeves entered the saloon 
 with Gerty under her portly wing, Sir Bryan following, 
 every lady and gentleman at the crowded breakfast tables, 
 rose and bowed. 
 
 " That's for you, dear," whispered Mrs Weeves. 
 
 Gerty, blushing, palpitating, surprised, cast down her 
 eyes, and, with just one half dismayed, half happy glance 
 at her lover, crept yet closer to her stately guide, and with 
 bent head, timidly and modestly proceeded to her seat at 
 the Captain's table. 
 
 Only when she was seated did the other passangers, 
 who had so signally honoured her, resume their places and 
 repast. 
 
 The women as well as the men were charmed with her. 
 She looked so winsome, so natural and graceful j and, 
 certainly, she was very pretty. 
 
 Mrs Weeves had not been able to persuade her to accept 
 or borrow a trinket, a ribbon, a bit of lace, or anything 
 else from her abundant store. Gerty wore only her 
 own plain things, and so becoming were they that not a 
 few ladies discarded much extraneous adornment in the 
 way of jewellery and flying ends, in artistic imitation of her. 
 ###### 
 
 The Ormuzda had made her home voyage, and Mrs 
 Weeves and Gerty were at Brady Castle. Sir Bryan had 
 come back by another boat. 
 
 The few days in New York were utilised by him in 
 sightseeing and in endowing all the Irish fellow-passengers 
 of the steerage men, women and children with twenty- 
 five dollars each. 
 
 The two ladies had shopped. 
 
 Gerty had declined, with rigid firmness, all suggestion 
 169
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 of money from Mrs Weaves and even from her affianced 
 husband. 
 
 "Sure," she said, "haven't I money of my own, for 
 any dresses or things I want ? I have nearly thirteen 
 pounds yet." 9 
 
 It is to be feared that Mrs Weeves used some sophis- 
 tications as to the relative values of American and British 
 currency ; for Gerty was delighted and surprised at the 
 quantity and quality of her purchases, and the small in- 
 roads which they made on her money. She was proud of 
 her independence, and Mrs Weeves was serenely satisfied 
 with her generalship which left the payment of the odd 
 cents only to the unsuspecting girl whilst she surreptitiously 
 defrayed the dollars. 
 
 A pretty ring and a jewel or two were all that she would 
 take from Bryan. 
 
 Mrs Brady was rejoiced to have her old friend, Mrs 
 Weeves, in her house. Her presence was a veritable 
 nerve tonic. 
 
 Patricia, Valentina, Geraldine, and the other O'Flaherty 
 and Byrne girls were overjoyed to find Gerty not only a 
 beautiful and amiable girl but also well-bred and well 
 educated, with an agreeable contralto voice, which had 
 been trained by one of the Sisters who had a great liking 
 for her and had bestowed especial pains on her culture. 
 That good lady's sudden death frustrated her inten- 
 tions for her favourite's future j and thus it was that 
 she had entered Dr Coyninge's service as a sort of 
 nursery governess and, when the younger girls went to 
 a school, she had remained as a parlour and housemaid 
 on her sister's advice. For situations were difficult to 
 obtain, and service in a doctor's house was a kind of 
 distinction : and Gerty would not be a dependent on 
 her sister. 
 
 170
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 And now, in the unrestrained tide of her great happi- 
 ness, the brightness and gaiety of her true nature came 
 out, and she and her young friends, who liked her more 
 every day, and who could not pet her enough, were like 
 birds in springtime full of love and song and the joy 
 of life. 
 
 Mrs Weeves, Mrs Brady, Gerty and Patricia and, 
 most potently, the latter, as a matter of course had per- 
 suaded Mr Brady to take them to London and Paris for 
 the selection ^of the two young ladies' bridal equipments 
 and adornments, and Valentina was going, too, to that 
 sedate young lady's unbounded delight. Bryan and 
 Dion would join them in London. 
 
 "I'm mother, you know, dear," said Mrs Weeves, 
 " and you must not contradict. I know that the dear 
 boy has made most generous settlements, and put a lot 
 of money in your name. That you can use by and bye. 
 But, at present, I'm mother, and you must not contradict 
 me : and I've plenty, plenty, and it does my heart good 
 to find my child's marriage fixings as if she were a 
 princess. And, indeed, it's a prince of a boy you're 
 going to marry, my love." 
 
 Gerty's sister, Mrs Versey, was soberly, unspeakably 
 happy as she folded her to her breast and kissed and 
 blessed her, as she used to do years ago. She brought 
 a melancholy story from Dublin. Dr Coyninge had 
 absconded, and his wife and the two younger girls were 
 living in humble lodgings. The eldest, Olivia hadn't 
 she heard ? She was dead : overdose of chloral, so it 
 was said at the inquest. Poor thing ! Gerty cried a 
 good deal. 
 
 She did not know of the letter which her lover re- 
 ceived, along with Versey's enclosing her own, on that 
 eventful evening before he raced the Mail Express, and 
 
 171
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 which he had thrust unread into the pocket of his 
 dinner-jacket. 
 
 That letter, which he found when on board the 
 Ormuzda, was a sad farewell from the unfortunate 
 Olivia. It was a pitiful letter. She expressed her 
 shame at what she had only now discovered of the 
 terrible wrongs inflicted on him in connection with his 
 father's Will and his property and rights ; her bitter 
 regrets for the slights that she, herself, had seemed to 
 put upon him at first, from sheer want of thought, 
 and, later, in the desire and effort to combat her real 
 love for him, for, indeed, she did truly love him, but 
 had to crush it down, believing, then, what she had been 
 told about him. And she could say it all now, for the 
 first and last time, as she would be beyond all mortal 
 reproach when he would read it. She prayed for his 
 forgiveness and, now and then, a kindly thought. She 
 hoped that he would be happy with her whose pure 
 and unselfish love deserved its reward, for she was a 
 thousand times better than the hapless writer who now 
 bade him everlasting farewell. 
 
 The young man was inexpressibly shocked and grieved. 
 When his thoughts became calmer he wrote to Mr Versey 
 to enquire discreetly as to the circumstances in which 
 Mrs Coyninge and her daughters were left. In the result, 
 she was informed by a Dublin solicitor that he was in- 
 structed to pay her a hundred pounds yearly, in monthly 
 instalments. 
 
 She vainly pressed for the benefactor's name, but she 
 guessed it though the welcome and almost vital income 
 failed to mitigate her furious resentment against " that 
 young minx." 
 
 172
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 Brady Castle fairly hummed with the mirth and excite- 
 ment of the wedding preparations ; O'Flaherty Hall 
 whirled in unison ; and the daughters of these houses 
 and the Byrne girls were aglow over their brides- 
 maids' dresses and jewels. Of course, Dion was 
 to be the best man and Major Murphison and some 
 other officers, out of respect for the father's memory, 
 the groomsmen. 
 
 A tranquil group sat one evening smoking in the 
 billiard-room, silent and satisfied, as men are with a 
 good cigar in congenial company, and after a good 
 dinner. 
 
 "She's a jewel, sir," said the Major. "Chestnut hair, 
 hazel eyes sweet and nutty altogether. And such a 
 delicious speech, and a heart like a child's, and a form 
 like a nymph, bedad ! " 
 
 Someone made an allusion to the once famous shootings 
 at Portellis Castle. Sir Bryan laughed, and said : 
 
 " And, except for what little I learnt when I was a 
 soldier, I can't shoot, and never killed a thing. And I 
 never rode or drove a horse ; and, I do confess to you, I 
 shall feel quite shy and awkward when we come home 
 there after our month or two abroad. And, as to having 
 friends or guests but Mrs Weeves will help us as to 
 that." 
 
 " Well, Sir Bryan," remarked the Major with cheerful 
 earnestness, " I only wish I had half the chance to 
 indoctrinate you, all by our two selves, in all those 
 little arts, artifices, and more or less 'useless accomplish- 
 ments of which you spoke, and a few others necessary 
 to the graceful spending of a large income and the doing 
 of what's expected in that station of life." 
 
 " Why, my dear Major, I shall be most truly de- 
 lighted if you'll come and stay " 
 
 173
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Ah, but," the Major's mellow laugh and droll eye 
 were very pleasant, " there'll be somebody else that 
 will have the right to a whole-hearted voice and vote 
 in that regard " 
 
 " All right," answered Bryan confidently, " I'll ask 
 her: that will be all right, I know." 
 
 " And, by the Sacred Bull ! if I've the chance to 
 kill off your agent decorously and unobtrusively and 
 take his place, faith ! and it would be the height of 
 luck for me " 
 
 " And for Bryan and all of us," shouted Dion, and 
 there was general applause. 
 
 The Major's jokes were always rollicking ; but the 
 shaft was often winged with a worldly pinion. 
 
 Then . the ladies came in and sat around, and the 
 conversation became general, discursive, gay, and incon- 
 sequential. 
 
 In the course of a lull, Mr Brady observed to Gerty : 
 
 " And you're going to be a Protestant, my dear, like 
 Bryan and the rest of us here ! But love is not a 
 theologian, we all know." 
 
 " Ah, but he is, though, Mr Brady. That's why I'm 
 taking my husband's religion." 
 
 They looked at her, somewhat puzzled, and the 
 Colonel, being English and slower-witted, asked : 
 
 " How is that ? I don't quite see " 
 
 Gerty raised her great eyes, and said, in her low rich 
 tones : 
 
 "I do not marry Bryan only until death shall part us. 
 Would I be separated from him after we are dead ? Ah, 
 no. So that's why I am of his religion right or wrong." 
 
 " You darling ! " cried Mrs O'Flaherty, crossing over 
 to kiss her, and all the girls rushed at her and hugged 
 her. 
 
 '74
 
 That Young Minx 
 
 The men rose and drank her health uproariously. 
 * * * # * 
 
 " To think," wildly and venomously reflected Mrs 
 Coyninge at the same instant of time, "that the rich 
 and happy Lady Portellis should be no other than my 
 housemaid my dismissed servant ! It is simply madden- 
 ing maddening. That young minx ! " 
 
 175
 
 Chose Jugee 
 
 EVERYBODY knows M'Slogan's Engineering Works at 
 Nogginside, with their rambling sheds and yards, the 
 wharves and chimneys, the noises, ugliness and obvious 
 utility. 
 
 Everybody, too, is aware that Mr M'Slogan was 
 one of the most substantial, useful and unloved men in 
 Ballynoggin, for he had lived over forty years in the 
 town. 
 
 He was one of the Rev. Dr M'Donner's Elders, had 
 been twice Mayor, and he also was a Commissioner and 
 a Magistrate. 
 
 In other respects, he was a cold old man, hard 
 and hale, with a glacial eye, and a severely-uncertain 
 temper. 
 
 One of his foremen was named Sheenan a staid, 
 middle-aged man, member of the same church, reliable, 
 and of methodical habits. He was not a Scotchman but 
 was almost as unlikeable, because he came from the 
 North, had a serious mind and a wife who was a 
 teetotaler. 
 
 This last fact explains the undeviating regularity with 
 which he found himself, at precisely a quarter past six 
 on each week day evening, at Donovan's grocery, where 
 he soberly took his bottle of stout, smoked two pipes, 
 cooled off with a single glass of whiskey, and then went 
 doucely home. 
 
 One particular spot a corner-seat by the little counter, 
 which was at a right angle to the general shop counter, 
 M 177
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and faced the window at the back was, from usage, 
 tacitly dedicated to him at about that hour. No towns- 
 man would dream of then occupying it, and a stranger 
 would be warned, or bumped out of it on the stroke of 
 six. 
 
 It happened on a certain evening that Sheenan did not 
 turn up as usual. His absence, however, gave rise to 
 no anxiety or surprise, for one of the workmen explained, 
 whilst ineffectually endeavouring to slake his own thirst, 
 that Sheenan was detained in the pattern-room and, if late, 
 would probably go straight home, poor fellow ! 
 
 So, for once, but quite unthinkingly, he slid or edged 
 into Sheenan's corner, what time they talked of the absent 
 as a rale dacent man, under the double calamity of a mis- 
 taken piety and a non-alcoholic wife. 
 
 Then Patsy Flynn came in and walked up to the 
 high-backed bench at the drinking part of the grocery. 
 He saw a rough felt hat such as Sheenan wore habitually, 
 presumed that that person's head was in it, and gave it 
 such a mighty thwack with a thick blackthorn stick that 
 he almost reeled with the recoil. 
 
 His victim fell in a heap, gory and senseless but both 
 parents having been Celtic alive. 
 
 There was much commotion ; the man was brought to ; 
 and the general sympathy was, of course, transferred to 
 Flynn when he explained that it was quite an innocent 
 mistake, for it was Sheenan's head he had meant to break 
 and not this man's at all, at all. 
 
 There could be no possible question of the police under 
 these unforeseen circumstances. 
 
 Besides, the men who took the astonished victim to a 
 surgery and, afterwards, to his home, impressed upon 
 him that Flynn was good for damages and costs, and 
 that it would be more profitable and diverting to take
 
 Chose Jug^e 
 
 the law on him than unsatisfying criminal proceedings 
 for assault, of no good to himself, and of no great harm 
 to Flynn, who would be sure to have friends on the jury 
 and get witnesses enough to make him out as the original 
 sufferer and not the aggressor. 
 
 Flynn, too, was chagrined and disappointed. This 
 was but natural, and was duly appreciated by the people 
 around. 
 
 One need not have all the keen zest and sportsmanlike 
 instincts of the Irish to feel with any man who, from no 
 fault or miscalculation of his own, makes a bad miss 
 whether it be over a wall, or a shot, or a favourite stroke, 
 or an adroit move, or a cherished finesse. The revulsion 
 is as deadening as tepid punch, or venial sin, or a good 
 joke told to an Englishman. 
 
 Flynn experienced a yet more exquisite pang, for he 
 had panted for a little wild justice in respect of some 
 scrap metal which he was in the habit of buying from the 
 Works. 
 
 Sheenan had not only objected to some hundred- 
 weights of old copper being mixed up and reckoned as 
 iron, but he had also proved obdurate and foolish con- 
 cerning the half-sovereign which Flynn had vainly tried 
 to press into his hard and incorruptible hand. 
 
 Flynn felt hurt. He had prided himself on being an 
 excellent judge of men and things, for he bought all 
 that came in his way anchors, bracelets, wrecks, books, 
 old rope, clocks, pictures, bedding, building materials, 
 foremen, stewards, military and other store-keepers, 
 anything and anybody, except only the Police and the 
 Clergy of all denominations. 
 
 But, when he was drunk, he was apt to forget that he 
 had shares in banks and railways, and that he held the 
 bills and bonds of better men. 
 
 179
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Then it was that he got down to primary principles 
 and hit out with a stick like a man without investments. 
 
 He received in due course the County Court summons 
 claiming damages for the assault, compensation for loss of 
 wages, doctor's bills, etc. 
 
 An Irishman dearly loves litigation. He goes about it 
 with a fearful joy and thoroughness, and all his kin and 
 clan and neighbours throb with him in the delicious ex- 
 citements ; the very lawyers affect an air of personal 
 interest and enjoyment, like hounds at a coursing 
 match. 
 
 Naturally, both plaintiff and defendant had each his 
 eager attorney. What self-respecting man could fall 
 short in such an essential ? There is not a true man 
 in Ireland who would not cheerfully give his attorney 
 a guinea in order that he might prove that he was 
 absolutely unable to pay five shillings. 
 
 After much microscopic flaw-picking, violent attempts 
 to riddle each other with ingenious objections and demands, 
 and other preliminary skirmishing of a highly clever and 
 useless character, the case came on for hearing. 
 
 There was a good deal of fierce chaff, which sounded 
 like abuse, at the plaintiff; derision was poured on his 
 tale of injuries ; obloquy heaped on his doctor j and a 
 torrent of eloquent declamation hinted that the defendant 
 was the subject of a malevolent conspiracy. 
 
 In course of time there was a condescension to the 
 claim and it was contended that even if Flynn did hit 
 the plaintiff, which he denied j and even if the latter were 
 injured, which was not admitted ; and even if the injuries 
 were authentic and not old ones merely touched up by 
 the accidental tap on the head in question, which was 
 strenuously urged it was all a simple misunderstanding. 
 
 Witnesses were called to prove that the defendant was 
 1 80
 
 Chose Jugee 
 
 not even on speaking, much less on fighting terms with 
 the plaintiff, and, in fact, did not even know him ; and 
 that the entire incident was due to the singular failure of 
 the man Sheenan to be in his usual place on that particular 
 evening, as Mr Flynn had every right, reason and pre- 
 sumption to expect him to be. 
 
 The plaintiff's attorney, on being asked by the Judge 
 what he had to say to this point, said that he did not 
 contest it, so far as it went ; but that it did not affect 
 his client's rights. 
 
 "Who said that it did ?" snapped the Judge. "What 
 I have to consider is Who is, or who should be, the real 
 defendant in this matter ? I say, it is the man Sheenan, 
 and I order that he be added to the suit. I give leave 
 to amend, and adjourn the case until Thursday." 
 
 Mr Flynn was rather puzzled until it was explained 
 to him that whatever might be adjudged against him he 
 could, by the same judgment, recover from the further, 
 or added, defendant; so that he was now all right, happen 
 what might. 
 
 The plaintiff's attorney was also delighted, for, as 
 he told his client, it did not matter who paid, so 
 long as he won ; and the more defendants the better, 
 for the extra fun and fighting was at the other's 
 expense. 
 
 Mr Sheenan was much surprised when served with 
 process, and, of course, he promptly engaged an attorney. 
 
 The Judge and also the advocates for the plaintiff 
 and Flynn were very hard and sharp with Sheenan ; but 
 his lawyer, who fought splendidly, at length managed 
 to establish that- it was by no fault or premeditation of 
 his own that he was absent from his customary place at 
 Donovan's grocery on that fateful evening. 
 
 He explained to the intent Court and audience that 
 181
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Sheenan had been ordered by his master, Mr M'Slogan, 
 to stay beyond his ordinary time, as the man in charge 
 of the pattern room had got leave at noon that day, and 
 some things had to be searched out at once, so as to be 
 ready for some castings on the next morning. 
 
 The three attorneys, hoarse but exhilarated, looked at 
 the Judge. 
 
 " My course is perfectly clear," said his Honour. 
 " Add Mr M'Slogan as a further defendant. You can 
 amend, and the case is adjourned to this day week." 
 
 Mr M'Slogan happened to be in London. His principal 
 clerk Mr D'Arcy Fitzclarence de Voysey, a relation of 
 his wife's mentioned, in a postscript to a long letter 
 about a variety of matters, that he had received a County 
 Court summons which, so far as he could make out, arose 
 out of Sheenan's detention on a certain day ; and asking 
 what he was to do about it. 
 
 The instruction was very simple : " Look into the 
 thing. If the claim is wrong see Kennada about it. If 
 you are satisfied that it is right, see to it yourself. 
 Dismiss Sheenan." 
 
 The clerk was a precise and dignified old fellow. 
 He went most painstakingly into the matter, carefully 
 questioned the time-keeper and others, made lengthy 
 notes and extracts from time and pay-sheets, and 
 saw the three attorneys with whom he exchanged 
 views. 
 
 When the case came, for the third time, before the 
 Court, Mr D'Arcy F. de Voysey stepped forward and, 
 with a bland but respectful smile, a heightened colour and 
 several courtly bows, told his Honour that Mr M'Slogan 
 was still detained in London, and that he, himself, had, 
 as directed, looked fully into the matter and was not in 
 a position to contravene the fact of the man Sheenan's 
 
 182
 
 Chose Jugee 
 
 detention on the occasion referred to in the ahem ! 
 the document in his hands. 
 
 Then he coughed elegantly, bowed again to the Court, 
 to all the attorneys, the Clerk and the Usher, and backed 
 out in a stately way as if he were leaving the Lord 
 Lieutenant's presence : and everybody in the Court felt 
 vaguely improved and elevated, as if they had all partici- 
 pated in some grand ceremonial. 
 
 Mr M'Slogan, as has been stated, was a personality in 
 Ballynoggin, and by far the largest employer of labour 
 for many miles around. This was why the chief Bailiff 
 himself waited upon him one day for payment of the 
 judgment debt and the three sets of costs the whole 
 now amounting to a serious sum for such a case. 
 
 It is written that Mr M'Slogan was a man of few 
 words and of frigid demeanour. 
 
 But it now seemed that he had only been pent up and 
 dammed back for the past half century or so. 
 
 For never was there such an outburst of, or by, a man. 
 It was cyclonic, titanic, catastrophic. The chief Bailiff 
 was frightened. 
 
 Mr D'Arcy de Vosey floated into the room, very white 
 and looking more than ever like a habited bone with a 
 rabbit's brain. 
 
 Mr M'Slogan roared for a messenger to take a note, 
 which he wrote with his own hand, to Sheenan : he read 
 it out to Mr de Voysey. 
 
 He therein expressed his personal regret that through 
 the deed of an idiot he had been made to act like a 
 rascal ; bade him come back to his post, and to accept 
 the cheque enclosed being for double the amount of 
 the back wages. 
 
 Then he turned darkly to the Bailiff and broke forth 
 terribly against Judge, lawyers and officials, and vowed 
 
 183
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 that he would go straight to Dublin and lay everything 
 before the Law Officers of the Crown. 
 
 " Yes, sir. Just so, sir," said the chief Bailiff de- 
 ferentially. " But you'll pay the trifling amount first, 
 sir, of course." 
 
 "Pay, you grinning gommeril ! Look here, if you 
 dare to trespass here or to bother me, I shall smash 
 you, and the whole lunatic gang of you, like a rotten 
 caskhoop." 
 
 Then, more horrifying far than his anger, he went into 
 peal upon peal of wild laughter, as the strange absurdity 
 of the whole thing came before him. 
 
 He had not so laughed since he was a boy. He got 
 up, stamped with his feet, held his head, slapped his 
 knees until, at length purple, breathless and with 
 streaming eyes he sank back into his great leather 
 chair and panted. 
 
 The Bailiff felt better and had the courage to seize 
 his opportunity. 
 
 " Ah, I thought, sir, that you would see the folly in a 
 manner of speaking, sir " said he. 
 
 " See the folly of it," thundered Mr M'Slogan. " Folly J 
 That's not the word for the most insane, upside-down, 
 ultra daft set of proceedings ever dreamt of out of an 
 asylum, or a nightmare, or Ireland. Ho, Ho ! " 
 
 " Just so, Mr M'Slogan," softly said the chief Bailiff. 
 "Just so, sir. The idea of your exciting yourself over 
 a trifle like this ! What's a trumpery matter of 48, 
 45. lod. to you, sir ? As I was saying to Mr " 
 
 "Eh?" 
 
 " Oh, the items, sir ? Certainly, sir " said the official. 
 
 "Plaintiffs damages and doctor's fees, 3, 7s. 6d. ; then 
 his costs, Mr Flynn's, and- " 
 
 " Man ! you're an imbecile a stark, miserable imbecile. 
 184
 
 Chose Juge 
 
 I, pay ? Ho, Ho ! And yet there he sits, expecting to 
 have to give me a receipt the benighted muddle-headed 
 creature ! Eh, man ! Just open your ears, or take a 
 double knot in them, and let me expound to you what 
 blithering, blundering calves and asses and haddocks and 
 blind loons you all are." 
 
 " Yes, Mr M'Slogan," said the Bailiff pleasantly. He 
 felt sure that he would get his money in the end, so 
 he did not mind this bit of futile fight. It was sport, 
 anyway. 
 
 "Listen, man alive, and maybe Heaven will let a 
 glimmer of clear practical sense get into the Egyptian 
 darkness of your clever, illogical, wrong - headed 
 skulls." 
 
 " You are very likely right about us, sir," said the 
 Bailiff meekly but cunningly adding to himself: 
 
 " Let him go on. I'll humour him : he's blowing off 
 now, and he'll end by talking himself into a good temper, 
 and then I'll tap him for the cheque ; and sure, it's all 
 right." 
 
 "Now, observe," cried M'Slogan, more calmly, 
 refreshed by some resounding pinches of snuff. " This 
 fellow, this ruffian Flynn assaults a man " 
 
 " Yes, sir, but it was a misunderstanding, a mistake " 
 
 " A mistake ! Was the cracked head, and the danger 
 to life, and the pain was not all that real ? " 
 
 " Oh, as to that, sir yes. But it was all explained 
 quite satisfactorily." 
 
 "Man man is an assault like that against the law or 
 is it not ? " furiously demanded Mr M'Slogan. 
 
 "Well, sir," twisted the Bailiff, "the intent " 
 
 " Was it the intent to hurt somebody ? " 
 
 " Yes but he was not there, you see," replied the 
 Bailiff triumphantly. 
 
 185
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " You're hopeless, hopeless," groaned Mr M'Slogan. 
 " Answer me this : Is Sheenan to be punished for not 
 being there to drink porter on that day ? And by what 
 law ? " 
 
 "Well, sir, you see Mr Flynn thought he'd be there 
 and so " 
 
 " And so Flynn, the assaulter, is to go free and scath- 
 less, and Sheenan is to pay all even Flynn's costs ? " 
 
 " Yes, Mr M'Slogan ; it seems all right, sir. And 
 now you " 
 
 " Yes : now it's I. I am called on to pay because I 
 ask a workman of mine to overstay his time, a little. In 
 consequence of which he is not drinking at a particular 
 place at a particular time. In consequence of which a 
 law-breaker, who had not even an appointment with 
 him, assaults another man in his place. Is that the chain 
 of reasoning ? " 
 
 " Sir," answered the chief Bailiff with sincere admira- 
 tion. " You've got it as nate and clare as a string of beads. 
 The Judge himself didn't state it half so clarely and 
 convincingly. I knew it was joking you were all the 
 time, and meant to give me your cheque " 
 
 " Get out of my office, you unregenerate, past-cursing 
 and past-redeeming villain ! You thickhead, you crack- 
 pate, out ! Good Lord ! Am I awake, or is this only a 
 ghastly drunken deevil's ravings ? " 
 
 After a few moments' interval, the chief Bailiff came 
 back from behind the office door which he had only partly 
 closed when he dived out. 
 
 " Mr M'Slogan, sir," he said, keeping a watchful eye 
 on that gentleman, as well as on his means of retreat, " I 
 think, sir, I can see a way out of this. Surely, now, we 
 may find somebody against whom you may seek recourse, 
 and so shift the liability on. If you could give me the 
 
 186
 
 Chose Jugee 
 
 name of the customer for whom you wanted those patterns, 
 
 now " 
 
 " Oh ! " cried Mr M'Slogan, almost dancing with rage, 
 " what would that holy man Job have done if he'd been 
 tried like this ? I shall fall from grace if this abandoned 
 haverer remains another instant in my presence. Get out, 
 ye scoondrel ! and if I hear any more about this mad 
 business I shall have everyone of you from the fool of a 
 Judge to the tool of a process-server dismissed, and make 
 you the laughing-stock of the country, if it costs me ten 
 thousand pounds." 
 
 He never did hear any more about the matter, for he 
 was not a man to be exasperated into hostile action. 
 
 But the chief Bailiff found out that the pattern-room 
 keeper's absence on the day of the assault was owing to 
 his attending a sale of some boats and other things belong- 
 ing to a widow whom he was courting ; and he made her 
 pay the lot. 
 
 So justice was done, and everybody was quite satisfied. 
 
 187
 
 The Tre Falti" 
 
 A Rigmarole Story 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 BALLYNOGGIN had an additional grievance of an exclusive 
 and consoling character. It was that Government always 
 treated the town with meanness, rapacity and hostility. 
 The latter influence was, of course, due to the traditional 
 jealousy of Irish commercial progress, and the natural 
 English tendency to neutralize the bounties of Providence 
 in Ireland. 
 
 For Ballynoggin unquestionably possessed every feature 
 and requisite that goes to the making of a splendid 
 harbour, and, from its position, a great emporium. 
 
 Successive Governments had been coaxed, argued or 
 bullied into the grant of large advances, upon easy 
 terms. 
 
 The results were wharves without water, warehouses 
 without access, and docks without shelter. For the 
 recommendations of the State engineers had been over- 
 borne by the vehement clamour of the Party in Parliament, 
 and by excited deputations bearing tumultuous local 
 resolutions and petitions to Dublin and London. 
 
 The harbour works were, therefore, constructed at the 
 mouth of the Noggin, south of the town, instead of 
 utilizing the little lough on the north side, which ran 
 inland some miles to Baleila at its head, and was protected 
 
 189
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 by a superb natural breakwater, and had a deep channel 
 and good anchorage. 
 
 So it came to pass that the official harbour was a dead 
 failure. The jetties constructed by Mr M'Slogan and by 
 the Railway Company served, by tacit recognitions and 
 small tolls, for any trade that went on at that end. 
 
 The north end became, in an irregular sort of way, 
 the real harbour. There was plenty of water and safe 
 riding within a few hundred yards from the beach and in 
 the little lough, or Monks' Creek ; with easy facilities 
 for rowing boats to and fro. 
 
 Business accommodated itself, as it always does. There 
 were public-houses, sail lofts, ships' chandleries, car- 
 penters' shops, smithies, outfitters, many houses, huts 
 and sheds, a police station, a mission hall, and a rope- 
 walk. 
 
 The favourite landing-place was a roughly - camp- 
 shedded little cove in the grounds of the Harp Inn, 
 which was some two or three furlongs from the Creek. 
 
 The grievance referred to was that the rate of interest, 
 on the State advances of over half a million sterling, 
 had not been still further reduced to one per cent. only. 
 
 Yielding to importunity, pressure and parliamentary 
 reasons the repayment of principal had been waived. 
 Then the arrears of interest had been forgiven. Then 
 the interest had been reduced again and again on fervid 
 promises of regular payment in the future, until it now 
 stood at two per cent. only. 
 
 Ballynoggin denounced the callous avarice and grinding 
 cruelty of a sinful two per cent. rate. She felt crushed, 
 discouraged and thwarted. By no method of mortal 
 reasoning, she argued passionately, should any self- 
 respecting, God-fearing State ask more than one per cent, 
 expect even that to be paid. 
 190
 
 The "Tre Falti' 
 
 Of course, not a single penny had ever been paid in 
 respect of either principal or interest ; and it was not 
 within the remotest notion of anyone except the dour 
 and mechanical-minded Scotch amongst them to pay a 
 farthing, even if the interest were attenuated to the most 
 shadowy fraction of the one per cent, that they contended 
 for. 
 
 " Then, if you don't pay, and never mean to pay 
 anything, what earthly difference does it make what the 
 nominal rate is ? " asked an unimaginative English yachts- 
 man one day of a leading citizen. 
 
 "Why, as to not paying, that's all roight. Dhivil a 
 sixpence will we ever pay. But it's the principle of 
 the thing, don't ye see ? There's places which sit under 
 one per cent. and don't be paying that same, of course 
 and why should we be treated in this grasping, shameful 
 and murdhering manner ? Answer me that, sorr. It's 
 the blighting invidiousness that makes the infamy of it." 
 
 " But you wouldn't pay even then " 
 
 " Of course, we should not. Why should we ? 
 England's rich enough, and owes us enough ; and look at 
 the ghastly mistakes that have been made." 
 
 " Yes, but your people would have it so " 
 
 " Ah, sure, the Government shouldn't have minded us 
 at all. We're all woild-hidded and loose-tongued, ye 
 know. Sure, what's the use of Government at all if it 
 doesn't know better than we ignorant shouting creatures ? " 
 
 " So, if the Government had resisted " 
 
 " Begorra, thin, an' we should have turned them out 
 as we could, just then ; and, maybe, got more from the 
 other fellows." 
 
 This brief preface is, more or less, necessary in order
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 to understand better the incidents which follow, and 
 which happened before the Great Slither of the Sowback 
 Bog on the right bank of the Noggin, which may have an 
 important bearing on the future of the town. Possibly, 
 that event may be hereafter treated of in these chronicles. 
 
 Amongst the craft anchored off the Harp Inn and 
 Monks' Creek was a Scotch fishing smack and an Italian 
 barque small and old but stout. The Creek itself, being 
 an excellent natural dock, was lumbered up with some 
 old hulks, used occasionally for storing ice ; a broken- 
 down schooner believed to be in litigation, or to have been 
 forgotten ; a dredger which had never worked, as some 
 parts were missing and had never been found or replaced ; 
 part of a wreck, which it was nobody's business to buy, 
 sell or remove ; and some barges originally intended to 
 wait on the dredger, but now used by naughty boys to 
 dive from, when they could get a boat wherewith to 
 board them. 
 
 A couple of the Scotchmen had rowed ashore on some 
 message or another. They had read into their orders a 
 permission to visit the Harp, for when they came out they 
 showed that they had drunk a good deal in a short time, 
 for economy must exhibit itself somehow. 
 
 Just then three of the Italian sailors, evidently a mate 
 and a couple of seamen, came bustling down to their 
 boat, each carrying something. They had apparently 
 been buying some small stores and provisions, for it was 
 known that the barque had taken in its cargo hundreds 
 of barrels of herring and great stacks of dry fish and 
 was now getting ready for return to Palermo. 
 
 The Italian mate had left his coat in the boat, and his 
 neck-band was loose as he went quickly backwards and 
 
 192
 
 The "Tre Falti' : 
 
 forwards bearing things to the boat, and giving vivacious 
 orders to his companions. 
 
 Against him lurched one of the Scotch fishermen, 
 thick-clothed, heavy-booted, loud, brutal. 
 
 " See yon, Geordie," cried he. " Look at the foreigner 
 with earrings, and eyes shining like a bird's. Ha, ha 
 the pagan idolater ! " and he snatched at the scapulary 
 which was exposed on the Sicilian's swarthy breast. 
 
 In the twinkling of an eye the latter had dropped what 
 he was holding, and had stabbed the other to the heart 
 leaving the knife or dagger in the wound. 
 
 Then, before the people who were standing about had 
 recovered from their stupor, he took to his heels and ran 
 like a deer towards the Creek. 
 
 Pursuit began : men tumbled out of public-houses, 
 workshops and other places, and shouted as they ran : 
 and the rope-makers left their work and joined in the 
 chase. 
 
 Larry and Mike were ferreting on the opposite side of 
 the Creek about half a mile broad at that point along 
 with old Nicky Joyce the lobster-man, the sole inhabitant, 
 with his family, of that rugged little promontory when 
 they heard the wild yells on the town bank. 
 
 They saw a coatless man rushing along, easily ahead of 
 his pursuers for he was slight, sober, and born and bred 
 a mountaineer. Then, just as he came to the turn of the 
 road, as it curved towards Baleila, he seemed to swerve, 
 turn, and dash boldly into the Creek, now high in tide 
 almost to dead water. 
 
 The fugitive had nearly run into some carts coming 
 town-way : that was why he had deflected his course. 
 In another minute or two, the carters had mingled with 
 the others on the high bank of the Creek, looking at the 
 swimmer. 
 
 N 193
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Poor fellow ! " said Mike. " I don't know who he 
 is or what he's done but we're bound to help him, 
 anyway." 
 
 " Of course, Mike," assented Larry. 
 
 " Stoop," counselled Nicky. " Don't let them see us. 
 They haven't yet, I know, for the grey patchy rock and 
 dark scrub about here will hide any number staring 
 straight acrost. Let's crape along by that dyke to the 
 bluff yonder. The land takes a twist, and there's turns 
 and loops of water and shore where we may lie and look 
 out, and, maybe, lend a hand." 
 
 They followed him, and soon found a position of 
 concealment, as well as a base of possible action. 
 
 " Besides," remarked Mike, "we've now got the ice- 
 hulks between us. I fancy the beggar will make a 
 half-way house of them, or the barges, or the wreck, 
 and then start again. Do you see him, now ? " 
 
 No : he was not in view. They watched with much 
 anxiety, and they speculated keenly as to what it might 
 all mean, for it was such an extraordinary thing for the 
 public to try and hunt down a criminal. What could he 
 have done ? Was he an informer ; or a man who had dared 
 to tell the truth in the witness-box ; or a renegade who 
 had had the hardihood to say openly of the majority of the 
 political agitators what most people thought secretly ? 
 What atrocity could he have committed? 
 
 But, he was now hunted to the death ; had pluckily 
 taken to the ^water ; and they had got to help him, 
 whether in spite of his virtues or in consequence of his 
 crimes did not matter in the least. 
 
 " Away wid ye, Nicky," said Mike, " and bring a 
 blanket. I've got a bottle on me. He'J] be perished 
 and parched wid the cold and wet if he do be landing 
 at all. And faith ! I'm minded to shwim out an' help 
 
 194
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 him in if he's not been carried away or gone 
 undher." 
 
 "I've thought of that, too," remarked Larry; "but 
 he'd maybe take us as being after him and drown or 
 struggle " 
 
 " Lave it to me, sorr," said Nicky. " I'll be back in a 
 jiffy. You, Mike, give an oye to the dogs and ferrets. 
 Just tell Terry to kape 'em going." 
 
 The older man and the young one ran off with equal 
 celerity. 
 
 Terry was a son of Joyce's. 
 
 Nicky soon reappeared with a bundle on his arm, 
 followed by another son a handsome, breezy lad of 
 about fifteen carrying a huge wicker lobster-pot. 
 
 The boy was out of his two or three items of raiment 
 and in the water, within thirty seconds, swimming at a 
 grand pace towards the hulks, a thin line tied to one 
 arm. He soon arrived at the moored craft, and was 
 observed swimming about amongst them, but carefully 
 shielding himself from the view of the other side. 
 
 His father and the two young fellows watched him 
 silently, almost breathlessly : and, at length, they had 
 the satisfaction of seeing his white upraised arm, as a 
 signal that he had found. 
 
 There was then some little delay, but the object of the 
 towed cord was now apparent, for the wicker frame was 
 being hauled towards one of the barges to which two 
 figures were seen holding the boy and the fugitive. 
 
 Then the little procession moved shorewards the 
 lad's dark head almost invisible, and the man completely 
 masked in the great basket, the shore-line to which was 
 operated by Nicky. The boy young Nicky was cleverly 
 giving to the lobster-pot an erratic irresponsible drifting 
 course. He had, at a glance, noted the state of the tide ; 
 
 195
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 he had, therefore, worked up so far as he could, under 
 the shelter of the ragged line of boats and barges, that so 
 it might, on turning, seem to be carried down, in a natural 
 way, with the other miscellaneous objects a-wash on the 
 ebb. 
 
 And, at the very worst, there was nothing unlikely in 
 the notion that Nicky Joyce should take proper precautions 
 in case any part of his plant got a-foul. 
 
 Young Nicky jumped up in the little cove behind the 
 inbending bluff, rosy, steaming, and amused. 
 
 " Brought yez a quare fish, sorrs," laughed he. 
 
 The three men extracted the hunted one, and Mike 
 promptly clapped his bottle to the poor fellow's lips and 
 almost forced some spirits down his throat. 
 
 With chattering teeth, spluttering tongue, and clasped 
 hands, the man threw himself on his knees and began a 
 hurried entreaty, in Italian. 
 
 All this was very singular and surprising, but amaze- 
 ment followed when Larry was heard speaking to the 
 sailor in his own tongue. 
 
 The man seized and kissed his hands, and poured out a 
 torrent of words. 
 
 On a sign from Larry, who smilingly reassured the 
 trembling wretch, Mike quickly stripped off the saturated 
 clothes, rubbed him dry, and wrapped him in the blanket. 
 Young Nicky trotted off to the sheiling fire with the wet 
 things. 
 
 Larry in a few words told his friends the story of the 
 stabbing affray, as confessed by Gaspardo that was the 
 man's name and what had led up to it. 
 
 "By the hiv'ns, thin," exclaimed Nicky, "an 5 it was 
 difinding our howly religion he was, which the prisbyterin 
 blagyard was afther insultin' ! Now he's twice welcome 
 by that same token, begorra ! " 
 
 196
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Mike felt a passing shade of disappointment. He would 
 have preferred a less justifiable homicide to succour, help 
 and comfort. 
 
 But the brief despondency went off and he patted 
 Gaspardo on the back. 
 
 "Nicky," said Larry, who could be thoughtful and alert 
 on occasion, " quick : bring me your razor and scissors, 
 and if you've any spare clothes, and shoes, let's have them. 
 I'll pay for them. We must alter his appearance and 
 hide him, besides. Sure, you've a dozen spots snug and 
 close." 
 
 Mike looked at him with great admiration. 
 
 In a very short time Gaspardo's abundant locks had been 
 sheared short, his blackavised face cleared down to a 
 simple small moustache, the earrings taken from his ears 
 one and all declined the proffered gift of them and 
 the holes doctored flush with the lobes with an im- 
 provised paste of breadcrumb and tobacco juice. A 
 further transformation was effected by the insertion 
 of the Italian's wiry form in the spacious jersey and 
 patched netherments which were young Nicky's Sunday 
 suit, with boots, cap and other articles of promiscuous 
 assortment. 
 
 " The police will be sure to come along by road 
 round Baleila or by boat from Ballynoggin," said Nicky 
 Joyce. " You must pass me your solemn wurred, sorr, on 
 your sacred sowl, and you Mike, too, never to whisper 
 the laste taste or mintion of the place, no, not in your 
 dhrames, aslape or awake, living or did, dhrunk or sober. 
 I'm going to consale him where the dhivil himself won't 
 find him, for it's a howly cross that's kaping guard all the 
 toime." 
 
 Gaspardo was dissimulated on a vast scale, for his new 
 friends regarded him as a martyr as well as a hero, and 
 
 I 9 7 '
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 his outward appearance was most unlike his former 
 picturesque self. 
 
 " No," said Larry in answer to a wondering question of 
 Mike's. "This is not Spanish; it's Italian quite another 
 language. I learnt it from old Signer Favanelli. He 
 taught me music, too, and everything else I ought to 
 know. Dear old fellow ! He's looked after me all his 
 life, and was heart-broken when I came away." 
 
 Then he resumed his conversation with Gaspardo, and 
 the four of them walked along some deep gullies, and 
 skirted some high crags, until they emerged from the 
 basaltic region which formed the neck and head of the 
 natural breakwater, and which was well-marked from the 
 limestone which broke into little warm valleys and green 
 ravines and rose into hills and crests. Then the Atlantic 
 roar came to their ears, for they were getting to the 
 outer side of the jutting barrier which, on the inner side, 
 enclosed the Monks' Creek. 
 
 " He tells me that the barque brought sulphur ore, fruit 
 and other things to Swansea, and then worked round to 
 Cork, where she picked up a little cargo and came along 
 here to fill up with herring in cask and dry fish in bulk, 
 on the advice of a smart countryman of theirs, at Swansea. 
 They were like to make a good thing of it, as they bought 
 a lot here on their own account, as well as shipped some 
 for M'Phail's folk." 
 
 " But," asked Mike, bewildered with all this cold- 
 blooded commercialism, and also surprised to find Larry 
 so clear-headed and business-like, " how could these poor 
 ignorant sailor men do all this bothering job ? " 
 
 "Oh, the vessel is a sort of family affair in thirds. 
 There were three brothers of them at first ; but two of 
 them are dead killed I fancy in some smuggling or 
 similar game, from the light but quick way he rushes over 
 
 198
 
 The "Tre Falti 
 
 the little circumstance. The third man is the Captain 
 Captain Martino. Gaspardo is the son of one of the 
 deceased gentlemen and is second mate. His cousin 
 Augusto son of the other saint is first mate." 
 
 " So, he's got money in it," remarked Nicky with 
 increased respectfulness. " He's a bit merchant and part 
 owner as well as sailor man." 
 
 " Yes," laughed Larry, " and, young as he looks, he's 
 perhaps been a lot of other things, I imagine soldier, 
 sailor, bandit, waiter who knows ? " 
 
 "Mike," advised Nicky, "I do be thinking that you'd 
 better bring Terry along this way wid the dogs and 
 ferrets an' the did rabbits, and start 'em hereabouts. If 
 the constabulary come they'd better have to look for us, 
 and find us hard at wurruk right away from the Creek 
 side. We can then be ignorant of everything wid rayson 
 and circumstance to match, bedad ! Besides," he added 
 with a pleasant smile on his weather-beaten face "we'll 
 want to victual him, an' your hamper will come in handy 
 wid the thrifles that Nicky will be afther bringing us 
 from the cabin." 
 
 Mike bounded away on this soundly-strategic counsel, 
 and Larry explained to Gaspardo that he would be placed 
 in secure hiding for the present, and that his uncle, the 
 Captain, would be informed, so that steps might be ar- 
 ranged for getting him away. 
 
 Gaspardo, with tears in his fine dark eyes, thanked 
 his benefactors. He had no idea of the dear delight 
 which he was affording them, for was it not all against 
 the Law ? 
 
 But he earnestly implored Larry to see Captain Martino 
 alone, and to confide only to him the fact of his escape, 
 and whereabouts. 
 
 " I love my cousin Augusto," he sobbed " ah, 
 199
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 tenderly, most tenderly. We were children together, 
 and have scarcely ever been parted. And he loves me 
 ah, tenderly, most tenderly. But the share of one goes 
 to the other. If I die by the hand of justice or other- 
 wise he inherits my share. And the dear Augusto 
 who is so charming, so good, so lovable has a little 
 almost invisible speck of greed in his noble and magnani- 
 mous soul : ah, the tiniest, tiniest speck. To the effect 
 that he would, with infallibility, feel himself under the 
 delicate but irresistible compulsion to discover me to the 
 police as a matter of virtue, of course, of course. He's 
 a beautiful soul, my Augusto, and I love him ah, with 
 all my heart." 
 
 " I see," remarked Larry tersely. " Yes I shall speak 
 privately to Captain Martino only." 
 
 At the turn of a corkscrew path, with a slanting gully 
 on the one hand and steep and almost overhanging rocks 
 on the other, Gaspardo was blind-folded and carefully 
 shepherded along until, after some ups and downs, and 
 stoopings and crawlings, the muffler was taken from his 
 eyes, and a candle was lit. 
 
 They were standing in a cave which apparently was 
 but one in a great series of chambers and passage-ways. 
 
 It was airy and dry, though the sound of water running 
 and dripping could be heard, as at some distance. The 
 remains of former occupancy could be seen, heaps of 
 dry bracken, evidently for beds j wood and the remains 
 of fires ; some broken boxes and barrels serving as 
 furniture, probably ; oilskins, cooking utensils, and other 
 oddments. 
 
 Larry expounded to Gaspardo, at Nicky's dictation, 
 that this place was consecrated to liberty, for it had 
 furnished a refuge to generations of rebels. Also 
 immemorial ages ago for the making of strong waters, 
 
 200
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 so vital a requirement in that cold and humid climate ; 
 and, possibly also but that was pure theory for the 
 storing of goods with the free importation of which 
 tyranny was always meddling. 
 
 Gaspardo simply said " Altro," and extended a hand 
 to Larry and Nicky. 
 
 Then he said, with something of ecstacy in his face 
 and voice : 
 
 " Brothers : Noble Souls : you've won my heart to its 
 fullest devotion ; for I also am a brigand. My family 
 can proudly boast an unbroken line of brigandage for 
 many centuries probably from the time of the Greeks. 
 And piracy of course, of course, like you, Illustrious 
 sirs." 
 
 Larry laughed until the echoes laughed back in re- 
 verberating volleys and deafening bombardments of sound, 
 rollicking choruses answering each other, and unseen 
 troops seeming to rush in with demoniacal refrains until 
 all the caverns roared and shook with blood-curdling ha- 
 ha-ha's eventually dying away in awesome fashion as 
 if legions of gleeful gnomes were retreating into the far 
 nether earth with their merriment unabated, though 
 growing fainter and fainter as they receded. 
 
 Young Nicky and Mike came up, and Gaspardo was 
 duly provisioned ; furnished with a fire, a lantern, matches 
 and tobacco ; advised on no account to roam beyond his 
 chamber, because he might imperil his life even more 
 than his liberty j and comforted with the promise that 
 Larry would see him again to-morrow if not earlier. 
 
 His protestations of gratitude and obedience were 
 dramatic and effusive ; but he did not omit to repeat 
 his whole-hearted views as to Augusto, the tenderly- 
 beloved. 
 
 All this took place within a very short period of time : 
 201
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and a few minutes later the entire original party were 
 excitedly raking the warrens and piling up stacks of 
 dead rabbits. Young Nicky went back to see to the 
 lobster-pots. 
 
 In about an hour they heard shouts, and a number of 
 men, escorted by young Nicky, approached. 
 
 It was the police party, with the other Scotch fisherman, 
 one of the "Harp" servants, and a Protestant carpenter 
 who had witnessed the stabbing and could identify the 
 criminal. 
 
 Not a man of the many others who were likewise 
 present knew or remembered anything from the instant 
 that they understood the sacrilegious nature of the out- 
 rage which had provoked the swift reprisal. 
 
 Naturally, Nicky and his family, as well as Larry and 
 Mike, were greatly startled and interested in the story. 
 They asked many questions, and Nicky and his boys 
 eagerly joined in the search which gravitated towards 
 the Monk's Head, the terminal mount of the promontory. 
 
 The prevalent impression was that the man was 
 drowned. But it was seen that he was an intrepid 
 swimmer and a desperate man. If, therefore, he chanced 
 to be still alive he would assuredly lay his plans so as to 
 reach his ship somehow by signals, or by using any 
 boat he might find, or even by another bold swim on the 
 strong outrunning tide, later in the day. 
 
 " I can't take any part in this kind of work," said Larry 
 with some dignity to the Inspector. "Not at all in my 
 way. Come Mike, and let's see to the dogs." 
 
 The Inspector touched his cap and rubbed his chin. 
 
 " Quite so, sir, quite so. Of course, I could call on you 
 in the Queen's name : but there's no need. Those boys of 
 Nicky's are as active as goats and as keen as terriers, and 
 know every in and out of this wild place. My difficulty 
 
 202
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 is that there isn't a word of Italian amongst the lot of us, 
 nor a word of English, except ' yes ' and ' no ' and ' how 
 much,' amongst them on the ship. I've been on board, 
 but we can't make head or tail of them, or they, seemingly, 
 of us." 
 
 He scratched his head and puckered his brow, annoyed 
 at his helplessness. 
 
 "But how did they contrive to do their business here?" 
 enquired Larry. 
 
 " Oh, they brought a young fellow from Swansea a 
 clerk chap that the consignees there had lent them. He 
 went back only yesterday, after fixing up everything for 
 them. The purchases of odds and ends of provisions to- 
 day was mostly done by signs and they always wanted to 
 pay about half only ; they know that much. We gathered 
 all this information ashore to-day. And now, we're 
 stumped by the bothering lingo." 
 
 " Well, sir," said Larry, after some reflection, " I can 
 help you in that barring they don't talk some dhivil of a 
 dialect. I speak Italian fairly well." 
 
 The Inspector was delighted, shook his hand, and 
 thanked him warmly. 
 
 " But mind, sir," said Larry, with a smile yet with a 
 pride which became him well and greatly impressed the 
 officer, " I shall be happy to give you every assistance in 
 the way of translation and so forth, as a good citizen 
 should. But I must not be expected to help in the thief- 
 catching or criminal-hunting business which is unfit for 
 an Irish gentleman." 
 
 "Quite right, sir perfectly right, sir," replied the 
 Inspector with cordial appreciation, whilst Mike looked 
 vacant but thought a good deal his chief reflection being 
 that Larry was one of the greatest men in the world, and 
 it was a wonder, so it was, that he bemeaned himself to 
 
 203
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 take any notice at all of a low, ignorant rapscallion like 
 Mike the Omadhoun. 
 
 Wherein Mike proved, as he always did, that his heart 
 was better, in so far as it was clearer and more direct, than 
 his head. 
 
 Little perceiving that he was acting upon suggestion, 
 the Inspector resolved to revisit the barque, with a portion 
 of his detachment and, of course, with Larry that gentle- 
 man consenting unenthusiastically, as if he had not, himself, 
 deftly inspired the idea. 
 
 " I'll leave one of my men with the Sergeant, and take the 
 other three. They're knifey people on that ship, and we 
 want to make a thorough overhaul as well as get the par- 
 ticulars we want. Sergeant Doyle and the others will be 
 enough to search here, and to hold their man if they have 
 the luck to get him." 
 
 He whistled for the recall of his men, and Larry, with 
 a bored air, desired Mike to see to the dogs and tie them 
 up, as Terry had, no doubt, put up the ferrets ; also to 
 light a fire and have such refreshment as he could find for 
 the Sergeant and the others ; further, to select half a 
 dozen couple of rabbits and order one of the lads to place 
 them in the police boat one couple for each officer and two 
 for the Inspector ; penultimately, he would let him know 
 on his return from the barque what arrangements to make 
 for the following day, but, in any case, he would bring 
 some provisions and things in case he decided to continue 
 the sport ; and, finally, young Nicky was to row over to 
 Baleila and bring the guns and other fixings, and a coat 
 or two, and waterproofs and rugs, and his shooting-boots, 
 and so forth all jotted down on the note he was to take 
 with him. 
 
 Mike understood perfectly without a look, motion 
 or inflection of especial meaning. He touched his cap 
 
 204
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 deferentially as each separate order was given him, and 
 Larry turned, without another look or word, and ac- 
 companied the Inspector and his three men to where their 
 boat was lying. 
 
 Arrived on board the Tre Falti they encountered nothing 
 but scowls and dark looks from the men who stood sulkily 
 about with folded arms and with flashing eyes. 
 
 The Captain a tall straight old man, with a stern and 
 striking face and an appearance of life-long command and 
 cool daring made a frigid bow but said not a word. 
 
 The Inspector had told Larry, in the boat, what he 
 wished to say, ask and do j so the latter began at once in 
 a quiet way. 
 
 " Signer Capitano" 
 
 At the first sound of their language the crew clustered 
 round him. 
 
 " I am here as a private person only, because of the 
 accidental circumstance that I am able to act as interpreter, 
 in a purely voluntary and unofficial capacity, and without 
 any special interest in the objects of those gentlemen" 
 indicating the police. 
 
 " Bene, bene," muttered the men smiling with gleaming 
 teeth : but as they saw the Captain unmoved and the 
 Augusto whom Larry intuitively identified, apart from 
 his dress bowing and smirking, they became gloomy 
 again. 
 
 The Captain asked what they wanted, and why this 
 second inquisition. 
 
 Larry told the Inspector that they were under the 
 impression that they were all to be arrested and the ship 
 confiscated. 
 
 This was a very wide paraphrase. The Inspector 
 laughed and desired a long reply to be made by way of 
 reassurance. He also wanted to come to business. 
 
 205
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 So did Larry. 
 
 The ship's papers were produced, including the clear- 
 ance documents from Ballynoggin, and every man had 
 to answer to his name, the only absentee being 
 Gaspardo. 
 
 Then, as to the search, the Inspector acting on Larry's 
 carelessly-dropped words had each man of the crew 
 passed, one by one, to an officer who temporarily deprived 
 him of whatever weapons of offence, in the way of cutlery 
 or gun, which he might have upon him. Then Larry in- 
 formed them, calmly but authoritatively, that they were to 
 remain on deck, in charge of one of the officers, whilst the 
 Inspector and the two others, with the equally disarmed 
 Augusto as guide, searched the ship. 
 
 All this time the Captain's lofty bearing was unchanged. 
 His face was unaltered and, after his first question, his 
 silence unbroken. 
 
 Larry, left alone with the Captain, as he had planned, 
 assumed a yet more indifferent manner than before, and, 
 moving away from the men, he told him about Gaspardo, 
 and his message, which was to be secret, except as to old 
 Tomasso and his son Belisario, who, he requested his 
 uncle, should quietly row ashore and smuggle him on 
 board, unknown to Augusto, until they were well out to 
 sea. He desired the Captain to indicate the necessary 
 arrangements as to time, place and signals, and to keep 
 his eye on Augusto. 
 
 Old Martino's eyes kindled. 
 
 " Ah, Augusto," said he in a low voice but with bitter 
 scorn. " He's right, my poor Gaspardo. Augusto is 
 like a cat, or a girl soft, smiling, greedy, false, amiable. 
 He alone is ardent in this affair. He weeps for his cousin, 
 and prays for his capture. He already feels himself the 
 richer for Gaspardo's share, and swells to twice his former 
 
 206
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 size. He burns to coin himself into eyes to discover the 
 dear infellce and hand him to the butchers." 
 
 Long before the Inspector returned from his fruitless 
 examination of every accessible part of the barque, Larry 
 and the Captain had come to a clear understanding. The 
 officer found the former smoking and tired-looking, the 
 latter reserved and morose, and the remainder of the 
 crew moody and fidgetty. Augusto alone was energetic 
 and briskly interested particularly, in the rare zeal and 
 precision with which he added detail upon detail to the 
 description of the fugitive's person, habits, mind, morals, 
 accomplishments and idiosyncracies. 
 
 He also bullied and browbeat the two seamen who 
 were ashore at the time of the affray, whose testimony 
 was taken down by the Inspector, as translated by Larry, 
 who told the men to answer his questions fearlessly as he 
 would see them protected from Signer Augusto. 
 
 Then he gave him a look which that noble-hearted first- 
 mate received as a timid old peasant does the clanging 
 soldier and champing horse suddenly billeted upon him. 
 
 The Inspector's last words through Larry, before he 
 left the ship with his party, were that he hoped that the 
 Captain would not leave the port before the Law Officers 
 in Dublin had decided whether the two seamen who, 
 after all, would be prisoner's witnesses, for what they 
 were worth should or should not be detained. In any 
 case, they would be wanted at the Inquest next day. 
 
 The Captain icily answered that he had no intention of 
 sailing until something was ascertained as to his poor 
 nephew and, if alive, the interests of his defence were 
 safe-guarded. The two men would be sent to the 
 officer next day, as he required. 
 
 Whereat the magnanimous Augusto showed a good 
 deal of rolling eye, and unsheathed tooth, and much 
 
 207
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 digital activity, whilst his sonorous baritone a superb 
 vibrating voice for that bony little -body muttered a 
 rapid series of " Altros." 
 
 "I must think how I can get even with you, my 
 tenderly-loved little scamp with the grand voice which 
 I should like to catch and bottle up for use, as wanted," 
 said Larry to himself, as he stepped into the boat, after 
 exchanging grave and formal salutations with the Captain. 
 
 At the Harp landing the Inspector, with many expres- 
 sions of thanks and praise to Larry, went off to his office 
 to write his report and do or attempt other things more or 
 less relevant to the tragic case in hand. Larry the 
 remaining officers and the boat being left at his service 
 went ashore and laid in a quantity of necessaries and, 
 especially, superfluities, which were duly stacked in the 
 boat. He also replenished his cash for contingencies. 
 In a small place like Ballynoggin the worth of a cheque 
 is easily known, and Larry's reputation and position were 
 a sort of public asset. 
 
 They were soon across to the other side of the Creek 
 and, guided by the scent as well as the smoke of the 
 wood fire, and by sounds of laughter and song, they 
 joined the shore party, which had had some experiences 
 and vicissitudes. 
 
 A merrier, sorrier, or more dilapidated group it would 
 be hard to imagine. 
 
 Sergeant Doyle, a burly, good-humoured, knowing- 
 faced man, had come off very happily, with only a few 
 scratches on his face and hands, and some trifling damage 
 to his uniform thanks to Nicky and Mike, as the Sergeant 
 perfectly understood. 
 
 Geordie, the Scotch fisherman, had a broken arm and 
 bruised ribs, and hands and face seamed with cuttings 
 and tearings of skin, whilst his clothes were almost in 
 
 208
 
 The "Tre Falti 
 
 tatters. As were also those of the carpenter, who 
 nursed a badly-sprained ankle, in addition to other minor 
 casualties. 
 
 The Harp man had been nearly drowned in a small 
 tarn into which he had fallen, had been up to his arm- 
 pits in a bog, in which he had left his boots ; had lost his 
 hat, and come by a black eye in the rolling down from a 
 treacherous foot-hold. 
 
 They had been bound up and cheered, according to 
 their several needs, by Nicky and Mike ; and had gathered 
 around the fire, in company with a fat jar of whisky and 
 such cold meats, bread, cheese, eggs and pickles as 
 remained in the hamper, and a liberal bakery of 
 potatoes, from Nicky's store, in the ashes. 
 
 Nicky and Mike were cooing with sympathy, and 
 clattering with compliments ; young Terry was silent 
 and demure ; and Sergeant Doyle loosened his belt, for 
 he seemed as if he were full of a year's suppressed 
 laughter. 
 
 And they sang songs particularly Mike and told 
 diverting stories, and Terry fetched his father's bag- 
 pipes and danced to the playing ; and they drank toasts, 
 smoked and otherwise enjoyed themselves. 
 
 Geordie had treasured up in his surly mind the hints 
 dropped in a casual way that he would have to appear at 
 the inquest, which would probably be adjourned again 
 and again until the assassin was found. Also, that he 
 would certainly be detained by force, probably until 
 the trial ; possibly, the smack and crew as well. 
 
 It would, of course, be unpleasant for him if the smack 
 were not restrained from sailing away, for he would either 
 have to live in jail, or his life would not be worth much 
 amongst the people. 
 
 The Harp man now said that his notion of the affair was 
 o 209
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 rather confused it had passed so quickly. He was not 
 clear who stabbed whom. He rather thought that it was 
 the Scotchman who had struck the other foreigner. 
 
 The carpenter had no doubts but many regrets. He 
 didn't care, and wasn't afraid ; nor to be intimidated ; right 
 was right ; he knew his trade, and could get work any- 
 where ; and what the hades was Ballynoggin, anyway, or 
 its people, or its opinion ? He'd like to hang the beggar 
 with his own hands, for it was cowardly and sudden. 
 
 After a time he mellowed into harmony and sang Sweet 
 Afton and Annie Laurie very prettily, and shook hands all 
 round but never let go of his " principles." 
 
 The four new-comers, who had not realised how famished 
 they were until they smelt the delightful odour of the 
 baked potatoes and of the other things, came up, gracious 
 with their burdens of bountiful provender. 
 
 Mike sought Larry's face, and catching there a quick 
 smile, leapt into the air with a shrill whoop, and with 
 Nicky and Terry ran to the boat and brought up the 
 remaining packages, baskets, and jars. 
 
 Then the picnic commenced the old-stagers joining the 
 fresh-arrivers as if all their previous proceedings had been 
 merely an ephemeral kind of stop-gap, or rehearsal. 
 
 Then ensued discussion Larry not bothering to take 
 any share in it which crystallised into unanimous opinion 
 that the Italian was drowned, and a good job, too ; that it 
 would take five hundred monkeys barring they were not 
 goats to thoroughly explore this wild dhivil's nose of a 
 god-forsaken counthry ; that, in view of the tides, the 
 rocks, and the quicksands off the Monks' Head, no creature, 
 and hardly a boat, could save itself at that point ; that if 
 the man was alive, he'd be most likely to make his way 
 back across the Creek and so give himself a chance to escape 
 to his ship, or on to the railway, or, anyway, to the main- 
 
 210
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 land, and that they should patrol the opposite side ; that 
 it was getting late, and they'd best be going acrost ; and 
 thanks to his honour Larry O'Gra, and may his shadow 
 never grow less ! for sure, it's a mighty fine hid he's got 
 on him, and a powerful eddication ; and a free and open 
 hand as becomes a gentleman ; and a swate voice ; and 
 would his honour trate them to a taste of that same, just 
 one song if they might make so bould, and huroo for his 
 honour ! 
 
 So, at last, the rabbits, and a few couple more, were 
 put into the police boat ; young Nicky was seen rowing 
 back from Baleila, and Larry and Mike were left, with 
 
 Nicky and his lads, on their side of the Creek. 
 
 ***** 
 
 Captain Martino had sent Tomasso and his son Belisario 
 a-fishing in the bay. They were expert with the net, and 
 their boat was provided with mast and sail, to help their 
 cruising and return. The captain had a frugal mind. 
 
 Dejection and inaction were bad things, in his opinion ; 
 so he set the idle crew to greasing blocks, easing chafing 
 gear and overhauling the canvas. The mainsail, he found, 
 wanted shaking out and drying ; so he had it rigged, and 
 it hung and flapped in a loose and slovenly fashion, secured 
 by a few careless lacings to the boom, to the derision of 
 all who saw it. The captain said nothing. 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 THE inquest on the violently-deceased Scotch fisherman 
 was duly opened on the day following at the Harp, amidst 
 suitable surroundings. Every constable who could be 
 spared, and many who could not, mustered at hand ; the 
 troops were confined to their barracks on the rising ground 
 
 211
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 behind the town ; the Mayor and other magistrates kept 
 within call. Not only was every room in the inn on the 
 street level full of excited drinkers, but every window was 
 turned into a serving-bar for those outside, and a long 
 table of planks and casks in the inn-yard abutting on the 
 rough landing-place was converted into a counter, on which 
 porter, spirits, tobacco and bread and cheese were piled, 
 and a lively trade transacted. 
 
 A stimulating sense of animation and interest was in the 
 air, and scenes and events were anticipated with much 
 foreboding by some and more enjoyment by others. 
 
 It is generally admitted that certain news, particularly 
 if of a dangerous, turbulent or incendiary description, 
 travels swiftly and mysteriously even in scattered and 
 uncivilised communities, and amongst those unprovided 
 with those rapid means of communication on which we 
 are habituated to rely. 
 
 This is being constantly exemplified in the wilds of 
 Africa, the bazaars of India, the vastly separated cities 
 of China, the jungles of Burmah, and more especially in 
 the south and west of Ireland, where the wing-heeled 
 Hermes has his posts and stations at every turn, and 
 thousand -tongued Rumour whispers on every hill, and 
 the Sirens shout across every lake, stream or inlet. 
 
 This may be a cause, or effect, of the spirit of demon- 
 stration which so powerfully possesses the natives, of whose 
 real character ethnologic, moral, mental, and psychologic 
 their fellow-subjects are almost as ignorant as they are, 
 themselves. 
 
 No people in the wide world are so prompt to demon- 
 strate on every conceivable occasion, with sudden defiances, 
 and improvised indignations, and truculences always out 
 of proportion frequently out of reason, or without any ; 
 but never without keen zest and joy. Work will be 
 
 212
 
 The "Tre Falti 
 
 abandoned, a drum will appear from somewhere, banners 
 will flutter into view from an unsuspected corner, a cornet 
 will burst upon the sense, and a procession is on the 
 march why or whither matters little ; somebody knows, 
 it is presumed, and that suffices. 
 
 So, sturdy crowds from Baleila, Kilmacartie, and the 
 hamlets and lone farms and cabins, gathered at the north 
 end of Ballynoggin. 
 
 Larry's name had been whispered in connection with the 
 business in hand. 
 
 But these formed, after all, but a small portion of the 
 ever-growing assemblage, the majority being, as might be 
 expected, townsmen. 
 
 The fisher folk remained on shore. When the men at 
 O'Dwyer's tannery all Catholics heard that those of 
 Hagan the miller all Protestants had stopped work, 
 they forthwith put on their coats and did likewise ; as did 
 most of those employed in the vicinity, whose numbers 
 were reinforced strongly along every avenue. 
 
 Official anxiety was justifiable, for the situation was 
 perilously explosive. The finest generalship, however, 
 had been shown by the Coroner's officer, who had selected 
 a very local jury, all Catholics, with John the Leprachaun 
 at the head of them, whom, by a word and a look to the 
 others, as well as by his name topping the list, he designed 
 to be the foreman. 
 
 He had also adroitly dropped another hint or two 
 destined to be useful and but this he was too shrewd 
 to disclose tranquillising. 
 
 Now John the Leprachaun, ironically designated the 
 Fairy-shoemaker because he made the clumsiest and 
 heaviest shoes in Ireland, was the most fearless, fluent, 
 and irresponsible disputationist in all the West-country. 
 
 Another circumstance that was calculated to make for 
 213
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 peace was the disappearance of the Scotch smack which 
 had stolen away with the early morning tide, and with 
 Geordie. 
 
 Larry drove up in his jaunting car from Baleila, Father 
 O'Kay beside him, and Mike and another boy on the other 
 seat. 
 
 The Inspector saluted him, at which there was some 
 sensation, which was increased when Father Blount came 
 up and greeted him and his fellow priest, with much 
 cordiality. 
 
 Both the good men had come along partly because of 
 what they had heard, but still more because of what they 
 feared particularly, as so many able-bodied sheep of their 
 respective flocks had trudged in to what might be more of 
 the nature of a holy war than a mere show. 
 
 "They are such children of nature," said Father O'Kay 
 to Father Blount. 
 
 " Yes, they have simple souls and soft hearts," assented 
 Father Blount. 
 
 "And they've the heaviest fists in the county," re- 
 sponded Father O'Kay proudly. 
 
 "Who's him?" roughly asked a man in the crowd, 
 pointing to Larry. 
 
 Mike turned round sharply. 
 
 " He's the foinest and cleverest man and gintleman in all 
 Ireland, and I'd loike to see the man that doubts it," and 
 he spat into his palms challengingly. 
 Somebody laughed derisively. 
 
 Now, there is not another human being living who can 
 throw into a simple brief sound, in the form of a laugh, so 
 much galling insult, bitter scorn, withering contumely, 
 scorching exasperation, and unforgettable outrage, as can 
 an Irishman. 
 
 " Don't touch him, boys," said Larry with a smile. " He 
 214
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 doesn't know me, you see and that's, maybe, lucky for 
 me. He'd perhaps think less of me if he knew more of 
 me. Ha, ha, ha ! " 
 
 They laughed with him ; and burly Jim Casey, the smith 
 of Kilmacartie, who had a voice to match, made general 
 proclamation : 
 
 " Dare, any man here or elsewhere, to say a wurrud 
 agin Larry O'Gra, an' he'll wish that the mother as bore 
 him had died a widder afore he came into the wurruld, 
 bedad ! " 
 
 At which there was a lot of good-humoured cheering. 
 
 Just then Captain Martino landed, with his two seamen. 
 His second boat, holding Tomasso and Belisario and 
 showing a good deal of untidily-housed net hanging over, 
 followed, but turned when the Captain landed, and, hoist- 
 ing a lugsail, jibed, filled, and sailed away in search of a 
 fishing ground. 
 
 " Why can't they buy their fish like dacent peeple ? " 
 grumbled a fisherman. 
 
 " Bekase," sententiously explained another man, " don't 
 ye see, ye can catch 'em in all languages, or in Latin like 
 Sint Father, but ye can't be buying thim excipt in Oirish, 
 bedad ! or English as the tyrants do be calling it who make 
 us spake it. An' the poor sowls have sorra a wurrud to 
 fly with, begorra ! Now, it's good sinse, and what's more, 
 good rayson I'm afther teaching yez, don't ye see ? " 
 
 " Thrue for yez, Denny ; it's the illigant laming ye've 
 got, glory be to God ! " assented several. 
 
 The Inspector led them up to where Larry was stand- 
 ing ; and took the opportunity to whisper to him that 
 he could do more to prevent breaches of the peace that 
 day than the Force and the Mayor at their back. 
 
 Larry was amused at the idea, but promised to do his 
 best. 
 
 215
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Captain Martino and Larry saluted each other with 
 sweeping hats and elegant bows, and the spectators 
 were wonderfully impressed with these stately courtesies 
 a mood changed to a keen emotion when the two 
 Italian sailors uncovered their heads and kissed Larry's 
 hand. 
 
 " The poor helpless cratures ! " muttered some with 
 genuine sympathy. 
 
 " God bless Larry O'Gra ! " was a cry which relieved 
 the feelings of the majority. But there were discontented 
 mutterings. The stout Protestants present evidently con- 
 sidered the exhibition one-sided, and there were scowling 
 faces amongst them. 
 
 It was a critical moment when the carpenter witness 
 was seen making his way limpingly between the lines 
 of police and one section pressed forward aggressively 
 and the other defiantly. 
 
 Larry drew the man to him, and placed his hand on 
 his shoulder. 
 
 " Boys," said he in a ringing voice. " You should 
 respect an honest man for sticking to his guns, right 
 or wrong. He can't fight now by reason of having 
 fallen lame. But I tell you what he can drink with 
 the best man here. And he can sing a rattling fine 
 song. We're not cowards to refuse him the right to 
 his own opinions, are we ? Bedad ! " At which there 
 was much good tempered chaff and easy laughter. 
 
 The Inspector beamed, the Protestant frowns fled, and 
 both sides cheered as the brave fellow the jolliest and 
 most Calvinistic carpenter in the Province was escorted 
 into the improvised Court-room. 
 
 Larry followed with the Italians. 
 
 He had but a few words to address to the Captain, in 
 the casual tone of a man hard up for a topic : 
 
 216
 
 "The Tre Falti" 
 
 " There is a sort of idea about that the dead man 
 seized Gaspardo's stiletto and committed suicide. The 
 Scotch witness has departed in his ship on this morning's 
 tide. One witness thinks it was as I said : another says 
 Gaspardo did the stabbing. Your men yesterday said 
 they saw a scrimmage and the man fall and Gaspardo 
 run nothing more. Now, you have no legal adviser, 
 and you might do worse than claim your right to put 
 just one or two questions to each witness." 
 
 " But, what questions? I am bewildered." 
 
 Larry said something succinct in a low tone, the Captain 
 nodding quick comprehension and murmuring in his round 
 deep voice a succession of " bene, bene, bene" 
 
 " And now, you have to go in. I shall have to sit 
 somewhere else, I suppose, inside. As to the rest " 
 
 The Captain pressed his hand as he passed in with 
 his men, conducted by an officer. 
 
 Just as Larry was about to follow with the two 
 priests, the Inspector who had charge of the proceedings 
 came up. 
 
 The Superintendent a handsome, gentlemanly fellow, 
 but young had arrived and taken command outside. 
 
 " I wish you hadn't to go in, sir," said the Inspector 
 to Larry. "They're in the humour to mind you, but 
 dhivil a soul else. You've struck their fancy power- 
 fully. I see great danger very great. A spark will 
 set them off. I've some influence on them, at times 
 but I have to go in, too." 
 
 " Say a word to them, Larry," said Father O'Kay. 
 " Sure, the Inspector is quite right. You're a mighty 
 lump of a raparee, Larry, my son ; but you've taken hold 
 of them from horn to hoof." 
 
 " Oh, I don't think so. But, if you really fancy it 
 will do any good, here goes." 
 
 217
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Some half a dozen broad steps with a hand-rail led 
 from the water-side ground to that part of the house 
 in which the Coroner was to sit. 
 
 Larry stood on the top stair. 
 
 "Boys," he began; and there was that in the ring of 
 the voice that instinctively told every hearer that the 
 speaker was serious. There was deep silence. 
 
 " Boys : have I any friends here ? " 
 
 " You have, sorr thousands of 'em." 
 
 " An' if any here isn't we'll mighty soon make 'em," 
 and other exclamations to the like tenor resounded. 
 
 " Very well, then. Let me know them by the hands 
 that are held up for me." 
 
 Up went about an acre of arms. 
 
 " Good and thank you kindly, for I believe you. 
 Now, you don't know me much, but some of you may 
 mind my father, Laurence O'Gra of Baleila. But you do 
 know that I've only lately come home for this dear 
 Ireland is home for the first time. But I come from 
 a land beyond the seas where the word of honour of 
 a man is a thousand times more regarded than a furlong 
 of oaths. Well now, I want you to give your word 
 of honour to me to me, Larry O'Gra, one of your own 
 selves that you will not lift hand or stick or stone 
 or anything else in an unfriendly way this whole 
 blessed day ; and I'm wanting to pass on that same 
 word of honour, in your name, to the authorities 
 here. Is it so hard to be placid and peaceful for a 
 day?" 
 
 " Begorra, thin, an' we'll murdher the man who won't 
 kape the pace ! " exclaimed many men heartily and with 
 convincing emphasis. 
 
 " Now, boys, listen to me. If you break your word, 
 you will so shame me that I swear by the holy saints 
 
 218
 
 The "Tre Falti 
 
 I'll never set foot in Ballynoggin again, for the very 
 disgrace of it." 
 
 There was no mistaking that resolute high-minded look 
 and tone. 
 
 "Never fear, sorr ! " "Be aisy, we won't no, not if 
 the hids is in rows waiting to be bruk." "We'll kape 
 our words, sorr." 
 
 " Gentlemen I thank you." It was a fine touch that 
 use of the word ' gentlemen,' at this particular point. " I 
 am sure you will. You will remember your honour, and 
 mine. And now," in a lighter tone, " if any man here 
 fancies that I am a suckling or a weakling because I 
 speak like this to-day will somebody hand me an empty 
 pewter pot ? " 
 
 There was a roar of laughter at this very unexpected 
 turn. A dozen pewter tankards were reached up to 
 him. He took one, whilst all eyes were intently bent 
 on him, held it out at arm's length for a couple of 
 minutes or less, and then raised it above his head so 
 that all might see it. 
 It was crushed flat. 
 
 There was a moment of surprise, then a tempest of 
 applause. Larry laughed like a boy. 
 
 " I'll give five pounds to the man who does the like by 
 the time I come back from the Inquest. In the same way, 
 mind : at arm's length, the other arm hanging down, and 
 within two minutes. Form yourselves into squads of a 
 dozen each or elect umpires and have a general com- 
 petition : and five golden sovereigns to the winner, or 
 division if more than one." 
 
 The crowd cheered, yelled, and laughed delightedly. 
 The Inspector said something that Larry seemed to 
 overhear. 
 
 " Away with that drum," cried he as if irritated, in a 
 219
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 voice of authority : instantly loud shouts arose of " Away 
 wid it, an' mighty sharp, Shamus M'Gee." 
 
 " Take it away, or we'll be afther putting your shape's 
 hid through the shapeskin " ; and other threatenings. 
 
 Larry interposed. 
 
 " Here, Shamus ; give me hold of the drumsticks. So. 
 And I want that cornet. Lend it to me, now. And, 
 boys, I'll maybe give you a tune or two on it some other 
 day not when a corpse is lying close at hand with a hole 
 in the heart. Now, go slow, keep cool, and remember 
 our agreement." 
 
 He went in, with those accompanying him, in a whirl 
 of cheerful and admiring sounds, to the wonderment of 
 the anxious Superintendent. 
 
 The big room was insufferably crowded and almost 
 intolerably hot and foul ; but Irishmen have not, as a 
 rule, the natural repugnance to physical discomfort that 
 Englishmen have. 
 
 The Jury had already viewed the body under the 
 guidance of the Usher. After a dreary waste of time, 
 and of many wranglings and janglings of which nobody 
 appeared to know the reason or object, the proceedings 
 began, the Court was constituted, silence vainly enjoined, 
 and the formal evidence started. 
 
 No incident occurred in the dry police evidence 
 until the knife or dagger was produced, when some- 
 body in the audience shouted an offer of five shillings 
 for it. 
 
 "It's moine for tin shillings, an' here's the money," 
 cried John the Leprachaun, foreman of the Jury. 
 
 " Order," cried the Coroner, and the Usher called 
 out " Silence ! " 
 
 " There was no more bid," said the foreman, " I call 
 on the entire Coort to witness it." 
 
 220
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 " No more there wasn't, Johnny," yelled the Jury and 
 audience like one man. 
 
 "Sit down, sir," ordered the Coroner sternly, "and let 
 the business proceed." 
 
 " Well, then, an' I won't, until you make a note of it," 
 insisted the foreman. 
 
 The Coroner refused : the matter was not in his 
 province, it was irregular, and the police alone had 
 control of the subject. 
 
 Then there was chaos for a quarter of an hour, a 
 cyclone of argument, abuse, declamation, recrimination, 
 menace, derision, and ridicule from twenty or thirty 
 throats at the same time: but all quieted down when 
 the Coroner stood up, took his hat, and shouted that 
 he would adjourn the enquiry unless they went on with 
 it in an orderly fashion. 
 
 So they settled down once more, refreshed and satisfied 
 with the brief interlude, and the doctor followed the 
 constable. 
 
 The doctor minutely described the nature of the dead 
 man's injuries. 
 
 The Captain, when the doctor had apparently finished, 
 rose in his dignified way and requested leave to put a 
 question. 
 
 Larry, of course, acted as Interpreter. There was 
 some difficulty on the Coroner's part in according a 
 locus standi to the Captain ; but the Jury joined the 
 audience in five minutes' unassorted but vociferous ex- 
 postulations, and the Coroner gave way. 
 
 " I respectfully desire to ask the signor doctor as 
 a matter of science and not of evidence if it is possible 
 for a man to inflict such an injury upon himself?" 
 
 Larry, who had been sworn in the usual manner to 
 interpret truly and faithfully, translated the question. 
 
 221
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 The doctor was rather startled, reflected, went through 
 the motion of stabbing himself in the same spot, and, after 
 some further thought, replied in the affirmative : it was 
 possible just possible. 
 
 The Captain bowed, uttered a deep-toned " Grazia, 
 Signor," and sat down. 
 
 The foreman nudged his next man, who elbowed his 
 neighbour, who passed it on, until every man had received 
 what the Usher, who was the Coroner's officer, mentally 
 characterised as an eye-opening dinge in the small ribs. 
 
 The Harp man could only speak to a scrimmage, a grab 
 by the deceased, followed by his fall. It all passed like a 
 flash. He thought that the foreigner had started running 
 before the man fell. 
 
 The Captain had but one question to ask : " Did not the 
 unfortunate deceased clutch the Italian's knife ? " 
 
 " He made a clutch. I saw the gleam of steel. I fancy 
 it was in the Scotchman's hand, but I can't be sure. I 
 won't swear either way but I think so." 
 
 The same query was put to the two Italian seamen. 
 
 They replied that they were occupied, some little dis- 
 tance off ; that they heard the fisherman's voice, a cry by 
 Gaspardo, a confusion, and a fall. It seemed to them 
 that the fisherman had seized Gaspardo's knife and 
 threatened him with it, wherepon he ran away, and, in 
 some way, the fisherman stabbed hinself, intentionally or 
 accidentally, they cannot say -, but the signer fisherman 
 was very drunk. 
 
 The carpenter was positive and precise. 
 
 The Scotchman, he said, made a grab at the little image 
 and bag which the Italian had round his neck, and which 
 was exposed on his breast by his shirt-front being open ; 
 the Italian drew his knife or dagger and drove it into the 
 Scot's chest, and took to his heels. To the Captain's 
 
 222
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 question he replied by an unhesitating and categorical 
 negative. He was quite sure ; he stood close at hand 
 and saw everything from first to last : he had no doubt 
 whatsoever. 
 
 The Captain, on receiving the translated reply, did not 
 move a muscle of his face, but, regarding the witness 
 fixedly, and deprecating any desire to give him pain or 
 annoyance, asked : 
 
 "Were you absolutely sober at that particular time ?" 
 
 Oh, yes : quite sober : he had only just finished his 
 dinner. No, he was not a total abstainer, and those who 
 so deemed him lied. 
 
 The Court-room was ripe for effervescence angrily. 
 The Coroner, however, was severe, the Inspector looked 
 determined, and, best of all, the foreman smiled and the 
 Jury giggled. A sly glance of the Usher's eye had pro- 
 duced this effect which beholding, the audience was 
 comforted and calmed itself. 
 
 But there was uproarious merriment when, on the 
 victim's fellow-sailor being called, it was announced that 
 the fishing smack had stolen away in the dawn, bearing 
 the witness with it. 
 
 Larry looked not only uninterested but unconscious, and 
 even tired of the business. Nor did despondency flap her 
 gloomy wings when the Inspector informed the Court that 
 the Italian had not yet been arrested ; but when he added 
 that it was more than probable that he was drowned in 
 attempting to escape, a marked and painful sensation ran 
 through the hushed Court. 
 
 The Coroner was putting his papers together, the 
 Usher called out " Silence," and threw an eye at the 
 foreman, who jumped up and said, in a decided but 
 hurried way : 
 
 " We find that the deceased committed suicide while 
 223
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 dhrunk, and that he is likewise guilty of petty larceny 
 for he shtole the knoife to do it with." 
 
 " Hear, Hear ! " cried the Jury, and the audience 
 cheered. 
 
 " But, but, gentlemen this won't do, you know, this 
 won't do. The enquiry must be adjourned " 
 
 " Ah, but you can't now, sorr. The verdict's given. 
 We've been too quick for yez, aha ! " retorted John in a 
 bantering, exasperating tone of voice. 
 
 " I was just about to adjourn the Court " 
 
 " Well, then, you can't, an' that's all there's to be said 
 about it," said a juror. 
 
 " But, gentlemen, listen to reason. Here's a man killed 
 * butchered to make a Roman holiday ' " he had been 
 burning to bring this quotation off, at any cost, and he 
 had, besides, a lot of rhetorical matter to emit. 
 
 "It's insultin' us ye are, sorr, an' we won't take it from 
 you or anyone else. We are Roman, sure enough, and 
 proud of it." 
 
 " Go it, Johnny. So we are : and he's no call to bring 
 it in here," cried a man from the back, crashing his way 
 forward. 
 
 " An' we've a right to a holiday and no thanks -to you 
 or the like of you," cried another. 
 
 " Butcher, yourself. Sure, an' it's that same, and your 
 docthoring, as ye make your living by, bad cess to ye ! " 
 
 " Faith ! an that's six o' the one an' half a score of the 
 t'other," laughed a woman. 
 
 The Inspector whispered to the Coroner, who shrugged 
 his shoulder, pocketed his papers and went out, by another 
 door, with the medical witness. 
 
 " Inspector," said Larry, taking his listless eyes from 
 the ceiling, " I'm going to keep the Jury up here, by 
 standing them something to eat and drink. Let them be 
 
 224
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 speechifying and all that among themselves. There would 
 be trouble down below if they go down now." 
 
 " Larry," said Father O'Kay, " you're a smart boy. I 
 didn't think it was in you." 
 
 Larry laughed. 
 
 " Wait for me, Father O'Kay," said he. " I must see 
 to this carpenter fellow." He raised his voice : 
 
 "Is there any man here who'll see my lame carpenter 
 friend home quietly by that door, where they won't find 
 a crowd ? He's a friend of mine ; and who insults him 
 insults me." 
 
 He found volunteers for this service, gave his orders 
 to the Harp witness for refreshments in a room upstairs 
 for the Jury, and then he, with the priests, got out of the 
 vile atmosphere into the sweet air outside where he at 
 once saw the Captain and his men into their boat. 
 
 He was welcomed with shouts upon shouts. The 
 Superintendent was visibly relieved at his reappearance. 
 
 They exchanged a few words : the officer hesitated, 
 then smiled and nodded. 
 
 "Boys," cried Larry: but he could get no further 
 for some minutes, for cheers and flattering ejaculations. 
 " Boys : I want you to help me." 
 
 "Troth an' we will, sorr." 
 
 " Aye, through fire and watther, bedad ! " 
 
 " Well then, it's this way. My heart's sore for those 
 gallant handsome fellows standing there" pointing to 
 the police " men with hungers and thirsts and tiredness 
 like you and me, and never a bite nor a sup across their 
 silent duty-bound lips. Now, I want half-a-dozen of you 
 help to clear that table, and lend a hand to bring from 
 the house bread and cheese and sandwiches and porter ; 
 and stand aside like gentlemen, whilst the poor good fellows 
 have some refreshment. The Superintendent has been kind 
 p 225
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 enough to give leave, and I want to have this pleasure. 
 Will somebody send the landlord to me, or, if he's too 
 busy, give him the order from me ? " 
 
 It was most unusual and, probably, the very novelty 
 was agreeable, for this unwonted proceeding produced 
 immense hilarity and overflowing goodwill. 
 
 When the constables once more fell in, smiling, Larry 
 announced that as his prize of ^5 had not, as he was 
 informed, been won, he would re-ofFer it on a future 
 occasion, and the stalwart constabulary would be free to 
 compete for it, in witness whereof he presented his own 
 crushed tankard as a trophy to the Superintendent. 
 
 This was hailed with laughter and cheers, redoubled 
 when the Superintendent gravely accepted it with a 
 military salute. 
 
 Then Larry, in the name of the people there, appealed 
 to him to march all his men away, assuring him that 
 not a man there would disgrace himself, or the town, 
 or the speaker, by any single act of turbulence or breach 
 of peace. 
 
 " And here's my hand on that, sir." 
 
 The Superintendent shook his hand, smiled and, saying 
 that he would trust them, and to oblige Mr O'Gra, he 
 marched his force away amidst the extraordinary sounds 
 of friendly cheering. 
 
 Then Larry made advertisement that he had arranged that 
 the cornet and drumsticks be returned by the landlord 
 at dinner-time next day, together with a couple of bottles 
 of whisky for the band and not a second sooner. 
 
 The quickest-witted people in the world for the 
 Irish undoubtedly may be so described, as it is merely 
 the redundancy of talent and the deficiency of common- 
 sense that makes them so wrong-headed instantaneously 
 appreciated Larry's tactics in a storm of amused approval. 
 
 226
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 " I can't stay to see the full fronts of your backs for for 
 reasons. I've a good deal to do to-day. And, and, I've 
 promised to visit that Italian ship, because it's in great 
 trouble and distress they are. For they haven't a friend 
 and don't know a word of language barring their own." 
 
 There were murmurs of sympathy, and, still more, of 
 gratitude to the speaker. 
 
 " So, promise me to scatter at once, and go your ways 
 home, and let there be no crowds of you, and no 
 disturbances. Good-bye to every one of you." 
 
 Mike came up and said something, apparently for Larry's 
 private ear ; the boy brought up the car, and, taking leave 
 of Father Blount, who was going into the town, he made 
 his way as best he could through the press, recognising by 
 name his Baleila and Kilmacartie acquaintances, who were 
 proud men that day. He was nearly shredded fine by 
 the numbers seeking to shake his hand or even to touch 
 him, and, at length, he drove ofT towards Baleila, as he 
 had come, Father O'Kay beside him, and Mike and the 
 boy on the other side, followed by wild and enthusiastic 
 yells. 
 
 " You're a young dhivil, Larry," said Father O'Kay. 
 " It's the Irish blood of the O'Gra's more pow'r to it ! 
 and the Castilian blood of the General's daughter, your 
 blessed mother in heaven, (and," this to himself, " maybe 
 the odd drop of some African king of long ago, in her 
 veins) and the mixture of Satan and better things : and, 
 och ! I'm bothered and surprised and delighted altogether 
 and entirely." 
 
 Nearly half way to the village, Larry pulled up and 
 jumped down, as did Mike. 
 
 "Nicky has a boat hereabouts for us," he explained. 
 " I must go across for some some things I want, and 
 then I'm going to see those poor fellows on the ship. I 
 
 227
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 promised them, you know poor creatures in a strange 
 
 land, sir." 
 
 " Larry," said the priest, walking him and Mike away 
 from the car. " Have you got him that poor hunted 
 guilty, provoked creature, who sinned if he sinned in 
 defending his religion ? " 
 
 Larry turned his head away. 
 
 " Father O'Kay," said he, after a pause, " I don't think 
 that that he's above ground at this minute." 
 
 He would not meet the priest's eye. 
 
 " Now, Mike, you Omadhoun : are you going to be 
 afther humbugging the guardian of your soul ? " 
 
 "Faith, your reverence, I only know what Larry 
 knows : not a traneen more an' a hill of a sight less 
 saving yer presence, sorr," and he called to Nicky. 
 
 They exchanged farewells in the charming Irish way, 
 and separated. 
 
 Old Nick and young Nick were waiting. The former 
 had transacted his business in the town, aud reported 
 with a smile to Larry, whom he carried through the 
 shoal water into the boat, which reached the cove on 
 the opposite bank as the priest drove into Baleila. 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 " AWAY wid yez, Nicky," briskly said old Nick to his 
 son as his passengers and he leapt ashore. " There's a 
 shlant o' wind coming up fresh an' free. Ye know the 
 signals an' the shpot. Off wid yez, now." 
 
 The lad hoisted sail and was away, with a laugh and a 
 musical bit of sailor chantie, almost before his amphibious 
 and proud father had finished speaking. 
 
 " I've brought your thick boots, sorr, and some other 
 228
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 things for use. You'd best change at once. I've got a 
 catchy about here." 
 
 He evidently meant a cache. It was an enlarged hole 
 in a limestone rock, well above high watermark, like the 
 mouth of an adit in a mine, secured by a rough door, 
 and serving as a handy store for general purposes. It 
 was undoubtedly convenient, and smelt like the con- 
 centration of ten neglected fish markets. 
 
 " But, dear old Nick," said Larry, whilst changing boots 
 and buttoning gaiters. "I'm starving, and so is Mike, I 
 know." 
 
 " Sure, sorr, an' don't I know it ? An' wudn't it be a 
 murdherin' shame to let ye go hungry, an' the lashings 
 an' lavings of yer own vittels about ? Aha, now ! Look 
 ye here, sorr. Here's could bafe an' roast rabbit, an' a 
 rabbit poy as you'd swear had fed himself up on onions 
 an' bacon and pepper and all manner of spicy things, and 
 a bit o' biled salted pig that wudn't boast to call the 
 Lord Liftinant his cousin, an' harrud boiled eggs just 
 laid by the hins, an' I can show ye them if ye misdoubt 
 my wurrud, an' an' the white brid an' the butther that 
 smills like a posey, an' the whishky, an' ale an' shtout " 
 
 All this talking was being done in gasps and snatches, 
 as he laid out the articles whilst ticking off the items, as 
 an auctioneer garnishes the dry details of an inventory. 
 
 Mike assisted, and the three men enjoyed a hearty and 
 certainly well-deserved repast, with the sound of the sea 
 and the winds for symphony, and circling gulls and 
 observant land-birds for company. 
 
 " Oh, Gassy's all roight, sorr," said Nicky, in reply to 
 a question, "Terry's got him along beyant there what 
 we call the Wicked Abbot's punchbowl, or just the Bowl 
 for short and to save shcandal. Though, I'm tould, it's a 
 matther of about five thousand years ago since that wicked 
 
 229
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Abbot had his dhrinking match wid the Dhivil's best 
 dhrinker and both cooled off in that shpot, which has 
 remained bottomless dape at all toimes ivver since, an' 
 biles like blazes whin the wind do be blowing from the 
 west, or north or south, It's this howly east alone 
 could as it is that doesn't be afther raisin' a riffle or a 
 swiffle on the Bowl." 
 
 " Bad scran to ye ! Nicky," laughed Mike. " You've 
 been running like a mill-race about that Bowl your 
 namesake fly away wid it ! and tould us nothing about 
 the little gintleman himself." 
 
 " An' that's thrue, Micky, me son," answered Nick. 
 " Well, thin, it's this way. The boys an' him had got 
 mighty thick an' friendly, and they've had lots of talk 
 and divarsions " 
 
 " Easy now, Nicky," laughed Larry, topping up a 
 hearty meal with half a dozen hard-boiled eggs two 
 bites to an egg as if they were olives. " And the man 
 with never a word of English to his back ! " 
 
 " That's just the wonderment of it, sorr," replied the 
 lobster-man, " the little fellow is as smart as paint, quick 
 as a ferret, and amusing as a kitten. Language ! Why, 
 he's no need of it, by all accounts. He rades a motion or 
 a sign as if it was as aisy as a big shop-board. And as 
 for his talking may the ould 'un take me if he wants 
 wurruds at all, at all." 
 
 Larry nodded understandingly, but Mike was puzzled, 
 and said : " Nicky Doyle thim boys of yours is running 
 a moighty risk of becoming orphins of a suddint if ye 
 don't explain what you do be maning, now." 
 
 " Micky, it's like this. The crathur seems to have all 
 he requires in his body laughter an' dhivil-may-care 
 and defiance in his shoulders, arguments in his joints, and 
 wurruds by the hundred thousand in the fingers of him. 
 
 230
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Then there's his eyes, and eyebrows, and mouth, and 
 backbone : and, begorra ! his very fate and ligs. Talk of 
 tongues, bedad ! They're all tongues, an' what's more, 
 he can use any number of 'em all at the same toime. It's 
 a moral, sorr. He makes you a picter of what he wants 
 you to persaive, an' acts what he wants to tell you. It's 
 enough to make a pig or a prior die of laughing, by the 
 tearin' ages ! " 
 
 They lit their pipes, whilst the things were being put 
 back into the rocky cupboard ; but Nicky stopped to 
 continue the theme. 
 
 " Whoy, what does he do last night, afther crying and 
 tearing his hair, and singing, and dancing, and smoking 
 all the toime thim paper things ye gave him, but he gives 
 ache of the boys a big silver money, size of a crownpace, 
 with the image of our howly lord and father the Pope himself 
 
 on it " Nicky devoutly crossed himself, as did Larry 
 
 and Mike, "and he showed them so clarely and nately 
 that they were to hoide it until afther he was safe away 
 that a blind asylum would have jumped at his maning." 
 
 "Now," ruminated Mike, "how the the hill could 
 he do that ? " 
 
 " Aisy, Mike, aisy for him. He first gathered up 
 the coin and made as if he was sticking it away in a 
 saycret and cautious manner standing in a corner, with 
 his head over his shoulder lest anyone should see him, 
 and buttoning his coat over it. Thin he made a boat of 
 the palm of one hand, and with the fingers of the other 
 made a man going to it and getting on board, slapping his 
 chest and pointing to show that it was him. Thin, he 
 motioned sails set and the ship away and sailing and sail- 
 ing, and getting home at last " 
 
 " Arrah, now, Nick ! sure, an' he couldn't be afther 
 demonsthrating that same," said Mike. 
 
 231
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Couldn't he, by jabers ? But you're tremenjously 
 mishtook, for he did. Sails down, anchor cast, himself 
 stepping ashore, and embracing and kissing his frinds, 
 and dancing and cheering by rayson of the happy voyage : 
 all as plain, and a good dale more loively than the 
 blackest print on yalla paper." 
 
 They laughed at the graphic description, and started 
 on their tramp. 
 
 Nicky was very full of the subject : besides, they had 
 plenty of time, as yet, though they kept going. 
 
 " Hear to this now," said he, when they took an 
 "easy" after some steep and scrambling climbing. "He 
 had a gold pace, with the same howly imblim on it, for 
 the mother ; and he made the boys undershtand that 
 in a brace of shakes. He went through the cirimony 
 of combing the long hair, as a woman does, and of 
 arranging dress and skirt, and a feymale way of walking, 
 and smiling and dolly consaited ways. They nearly had 
 a fit. How could they possibly mishtake him ? Oh, 
 he's a funny little imp, and Terry, especially, will have 
 the sore heart whin he's gone. He's got quite clever, 
 too, with his beanies and his altros." 
 
 "What's the signifying of thim wurruds, Nicky?" 
 enquired Mike. 
 
 " Dhivil a bit I know, Mike," answered the other, 
 " but it's like this. Beanie's said as quick as ye can 
 put yer tongue to it, up to a dozen or a score of times 
 without taking breath. It seems to mane ' all right ' 
 or, * I see,' or * go on,' or something of that sort." 
 
 " And the other wurrud " 
 
 " Ah, altro. Well, by all tokens, it's a sort of ' don't 
 care whether it is or not,' or ' indade,' or ' hanged if I 
 will,' or ' don't matter a curse,' or ' go to blazes quietly 
 and gentaley,' and a hape of other things." 
 
 232
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Larry laughed heartily and said that Nicky was quite 
 correct. 
 
 " It's the boys, sorr," said he modestly. 
 
 He had sent Terry with Gaspardo round by a more 
 circuitous but less arduous route, and calculated that 
 they would arrive at the trysting-point at about the 
 same time. 
 
 It was certainly difficult going, but at length, by the 
 aid of some ropes with which Nicky came provided, 
 and much rough-and-tumble mounting and sliding and 
 creeping and some agile jumping, they found them- 
 selves under the terrific fronts of the Monk's Head, 
 with his vast scowling buttresses and jagged outposts 
 of splintered rock. 
 
 In a great circular recess lay a calm body of water 
 connected by a canal- like channel with the bay. Of 
 course, this was only apparent at low tide, as on this 
 occasion. 
 
 It was a curious formation in itself, but the deep 
 channel at all times was a much more singular 
 phenomenon. It was probably due to a buried river 
 debouching at that point, rather than to the mere scooping 
 action of the sea. It was easy to imagine what a fearful 
 sight a storm, or even a heavy tide, must be with that 
 dreadful jagged headland to receive and fling back the 
 shock of the charging waves. 
 
 " That's where the dhirty spalpeen of a low-minded 
 thafe of a Dutchman shtuck, sorr," said Nicky, pointing 
 to a sand-bank running out from a line of low rocks like 
 rough spines, or like the broken and discoloured teeth 
 of some submerged open-jawed Titan of inconceivable 
 dimensions. 
 
 "Whist now, Nicky, bad cess to you!" said Mike 
 hastily, turning very red.
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " By me sowl ! but it was foine, sorr," continued 
 Nicky, seeing the look of enquiry in Larry's face ; and 
 ignoring Mike's uneasiness. 
 
 "What was it, Mike?" asked Larry, suspicious of 
 him but wide of the real facts. 
 
 " Oh, just nothing at all, Larry," answered Mike 
 uncomfortably. "Nicky, bad scran to ye, it's did an' 
 sore an' sorry you'll be for this, bedad ! " 
 
 But the story of Mike's heroism and daring came out 
 in despite. 
 
 "Mike," said Larry severely, "and you never told 
 me of this ! Give me your hand instantly, you dear 
 brave rascal, or I'll break the skull of you." 
 
 Mike's face was scarlet, but he nodded a threatening 
 head at Nicky who only shook with laughter. That 
 shaking Larry and Mike being to leeward of him was 
 like unto the opening of an urban fishmonger's shop 
 on a Monday morning in the leafy month of June. 
 
 They found Gaspardo and Terry waiting for them. 
 
 Naturally, Larry had much to tell the fugitive, who 
 went, by rapid transition, through every mood, and gave 
 unpremeditated but dramatic expression to every fancy, 
 thought, and emotion that could possibly animate any 
 gross of full-blooded and excitable human beings. 
 
 The information that the man whom he had stabbed 
 was dead he received with a shrug, a lift of an eyebrow, 
 and an altro of perfect indifference. 
 
 The immediate business in hand was explained to him. 
 He was told that Tomasso and Belisario were cruising 
 about, under the pretence of fishing, and that the elder 
 of the boys was out in his boat to give them the 
 agreed signals and pilot them to the spot arranged for 
 his embarkation. 
 
 His impatience developed cerebral energies and muscular 
 
 2 34
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 elasticities beyond anything that the majority of those 
 present had ever suspected, or that ordinary science 
 could tabulate. 
 
 He contorted himself into angles ; he sprang, crouched, 
 tore his hair, went through the form of dismembering 
 himself and of pulling out his eyes and ears and throwing 
 them away ; he shouted, shrieked, blasphemed and laughed 
 like a lunatic-ward. 
 
 Then, pale and exhausted, he became suddenly calm 
 and gave notice in a solemn tone that he was going to 
 pray. 
 
 Mike and Nicky smiled more or less audibly. 
 
 " Ha ! " cried Gassy swiftly, " you think I can't pray 
 that I have no particular friends and patrons up there, eh ? 
 But you shall see, you shall see 'per Bacco ! " 
 
 He cleared a small ring as a street conjuror does, by 
 walking round, with outstretched arms and then began 
 his orisons, to the speechless amazement of the others. 
 
 This was the manner of it : 
 
 He took off the hat he wore, which he held to his chest 
 with his left hand, crown downwards. 
 
 Then he raised his face to the heavens, whistled, and 
 with his wagging forefinger beckoned the saint he called, 
 appeared to catch him as if he were a passing fly, and to 
 throw him, with a vigorous neck-and-crop pitch, into his 
 hat, accompanying each chucked-in arrival with a deeply- 
 aspirated " Ai ! " 
 
 " Santa Angosturina di Botella Ai ! Santa Catarina 
 de Velo Ai ! Santa Bianca di Nonevero Ai ! Santa 
 Marguerita di Festinalente Ai ! Santa Vermouta di 
 Torino Ai ! Santo Rissoto de Monico Ai ! Santo 
 Spaghetti di Gatti Ai ! Santa Baldachino di Conamore 
 Ai ! Santa Trovatore de Allegrodacapa Ai ! Santa 
 Otello di Alfresco Ai ! Hurry up, lazybones hurry 
 
 235
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 up, now Ai ! Ai ! Ai ! Aha ! Aha ! Aha ! Bene, bene, 
 bene, bene ! " 
 
 Then he wiped his streaming brow, expanded his lungs 
 and ran over his list with incredible rapidity, in a single 
 breath as it seemed, concluding the enumeration with a 
 satisfied dozen or two of "bene's" in a rippling kind of 
 deep-chested purr. 
 
 [The real canonical names are suppressed in deference 
 to considerations of public piety and of vested interests.] 
 
 Larry looked on impassively, Nicky and Mike were 
 half frightened and extremely puzzled and curious, and 
 Terry went round a rock and rolled over and over on the 
 golden sand, with his soft cap crammed into his mouth to 
 stifle his laughter. 
 
 Gaspardo took his hat reverently in both hands and 
 stood it gently on a boulder j then he closed his eyes, 
 folded his hands, bent his head humbly, and prayed in his 
 grand sonorous voice, like the soft-booming of far-off 
 heavily-silvered bronze bells. 
 
 " Oh divine Excellencies, grand and illustrious Sancti- 
 ties ! You know me ha ? the little Gaspardo who has 
 often made you laugh, and who has sung to you on moon- 
 light nights on the mountains, knowing you were only 
 yawning your holy heads off up above. Is it not so ? And 
 the great candles I have promised you ! You know how 
 busy I have been to prevent my buying them, but altro, 
 altro ! You're in no hurry, and there's plenty of time, 
 plenty of time eh ? Now, illustrious, beautiful, charm- 
 ing, sanctified Excellencies, I am in a devil of a predica- 
 ment. Help me this time, and I give you my word of 
 honour that I will not bother you again except to sing 
 to you, and tell you the pretty things I hear about you. 
 And, dear, darling, little saintlets lovely, beneficent, 
 wise and kind ! I know (hat you love your naughty, 
 
 236
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 faithful, eccentric, good little Gaspardo. Listen, now. I 
 mean it this time. On the word of a Falti. A candle, 
 thirty lire for the dozen, to each of you aromatic, nicely 
 coloured, long, fat, of the purest wax. Is it a bargain ? 
 Remember two fifty for each candle ! Why, you will 
 have all the other saints green with envy. Get me out 
 of this, send me Tomasso and Belisario, and put me 
 safely on the Tre Falti. Now, do not doubt about the 
 candles : have not I said it ha ? Dear beautiful Sancti- 
 ties thanks, thanks, thanks, a million times ! It's a 
 bargain. Amen ! " 
 
 He straightened himself with alertness and new-found 
 strength, and looked seaward. 
 
 " Ah, look, look ! See my prayers pay ! " He 
 pointed to the white sail of a small boat at some 
 distance. 
 
 Nicky made a tube of his hands, and gazed, but Terry 
 just cast one careless glance outward, and said that it 
 was Old Shee, the pilot, running out to meet the weekly 
 Cork boat. 
 
 Larry had of course, translated to and fro. 
 
 A score of furies descended straightway on the spirit 
 of Gaspardo. 
 
 He stamped, raved, and cried aloud : then he seized that 
 hat, and squared his accounts with the saints. 
 
 " Out you come, serpents, impostors, scorpions, heretics, 
 swindlers! Santa Angosturina You're no better than 
 you ought to be, and a leprous lot worse out ! " 
 
 He went through the ceremony of plucking them 
 out one by one, jerking them contemptuously to the 
 ground, and wiping his feet on them with anger and 
 hate. 
 
 " Santa Bianca the less said about your reputation the 
 better you viperess out ! 
 
 237
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "Santa Vermouta di Torino you hairless, toothless, 
 wrinkled, evil-smelling old crone out ! 
 
 " Santa Marguerita you painted doll, you betrayer of 
 brave men, you daughter of mules out ! 
 
 " Santa Catarina di Velo you're an old, ugly, yellow 
 washerwoman a disgusting cat out ! 
 
 " Santo Baldachino, we know you ah, we know you, 
 you protestant old goat out ! 
 
 "Santo Rissoto you glutton, you excommunicated 
 crow, you devourer of honest men's candles out ! 
 
 "Santo Spaghetti poisoner, traitor, secret stabber, 
 financial editor out ! 
 
 " Santo Otello thief, policeman, exciseman, sold to 
 hundred thousand devils out ! Out the whole false, 
 prison-breaking, masked, fictitious lot of you who have 
 no existence, and never had and not enough character 
 amongst you to get credit for ten scudi out you go, and 
 pollute my hat no longer. So, and so, and so ! Aha ! " 
 
 And he jumped on them, and spat on them, and ground 
 them under his feet into utter nothingness. 
 
 Then he collapsed, and wept profusely. 
 
 " Well," said Nick, " did one ever see the likes of that, 
 now ? Quare saints they must be in his counthry, I do be 
 thinking." 
 
 "Nicky," said Mike, more awestruck even than sur- 
 prised, " I tell you what it is. Any dacent Irish saint 
 would be damned before he'd shtand that." 
 
 " So I think, Mike. They must be a poor outlandish lot, 
 wid dhivil a bit o' sperrit, to allow thimlike liberties to be 
 took wid thim, bedad ! " 
 
 " Ah, here comes young Nick," exclaimed Larry. 
 
 Sure enough, the boat was standing in, and soon young 
 Nicky was tacking up the channel followed by the Italian 
 boat, which worked in, imitating its leader both lower- 
 
 238
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 ing sail and taking to the oars before they reached the 
 pool. 
 
 Gaspardo's revulsion of feeling was wonderful to see. 
 
 "Ah, dear, darling, beloved little saintlets most 
 beautiful in heaven ! You know that I was only joking. 
 You like me to make you laugh I am such a clever 
 comedian ah ? No one amuses you like your little 
 Gaspardo ; and it's so quiet and tedious and monotonous 
 up there. That's why I feel for you, and play to you like 
 a small theatre all by myself. Thanks ah, millions of 
 thanks illustrious Excellencies ! " 
 
 " And the candles, Gaspardo ?" asked Larry. 
 
 "Hush ! " answered Gassy, with a face of alarm. "Two 
 fifty each ! Ha, ha, ha ! Is it likely ? A poor beggar 
 like me and they nauseated with tallow ! For it's devilish 
 little wax they sniff for all the grand promises. Two fifty 
 the dozen is more likely. What, each ? Why, it would 
 make them as conceited as tenors. Oh, as to promises 
 Altro, altro \ But, hush ! Don't let them hear. They can 
 keep on fancying that I mean twojj^" and a half each 
 until we get to Sicily, and then " 
 
 " But if they're angry " 
 
 " Oh, I can make excuses, and weep, and promise, and 
 promise more ah ! I'm a very prodigal in promises. And 
 they will laugh and say : ' It's our little Gaspardo, 
 pauvretto \ He's an amusing child, so innocent, so gay, so 
 sincere. Dear little Gaspardo ! ' and it will be all right, all 
 right until the next time again ha ? " 
 
 He bounded at Tomasso and Belisario, and hugged and 
 kissed them. They laughed lightheartedly at his changed 
 appearance, and volubly vowed that they could not have 
 recognised him had he remained quiet in body and tongue. 
 
 " Ah, Signer Tomasso," said Larry, " that reminds me. 
 You must tie Signer Gaspardo hand and foot and keep him 
 
 239
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 at the bottom of the boat, well-covered by the net or by 
 the sail, if you really go fishing, and row. And when you 
 get near the ships he must be gagged ; one of your neck 
 handkerchiefs will do, securely tied over his mouth. And 
 if he makes any resistance or noise as you come alongside 
 the Tre Falti, drop him overboard into the sea it will be 
 his own fault. Obey." 
 
 " Si, si, si, Signor," said Tomasso and his son speaking 
 together and with unaffected earnestness. It was business. 
 
 Gaspardo protested his absolute dumbness loudly and 
 at considerable length. 
 
 " And, Signor Tomasso, you will not approach the Tre 
 Faltl until the agreed signals are repeated. Remember 
 repeated. I am going on board now. I forgot to hint to 
 the noble Signor Capitano to take precautions against any 
 possible shot being fired, in exultation or by accident. 
 Signor Augusto may be indiscreet in the delirious joy of 
 recovering his tenderly-beloved cousin, you know : and a 
 shot would at once bring the police on board." 
 
 " Si, si, si, excellenza. Compreno, illustressimo" answered 
 Tomasso, with a look of intelligence. "Signor Augusto 
 is overwhelmed with grief, but drunk, drunk because he 
 now owns two-thirds ; and has even permitted himself the 
 indelicacy of violence to the noble Signor Capitano and 
 boasted that he would change places when the ship is 
 again out at sea." 
 
 " So ? Well, I'm not surprised. But, my Tomasso, 
 and you, brave Belisario, Signor Augusto may experience 
 a little astonishment later to-day. Now, remember and 
 obey to the letter. I must not see Gaspardo depart I 
 may be questioned. Now, Gaspardo ; be sensible, and 
 calm. You are under Tomasso's orders. Addio I Come, 
 Mike, and Nicky. We must be off first and it gives 
 them a piloting lead, besides." 
 ^ 240
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 The boys were sent home to look after the lobster-pots, 
 each happy in a half-crown from Larry. 
 
 Nicky's boat, with its complement, was soon rowing 
 off, for they could not feel the wind until away from 
 under the beetling headland. They heard much jabber- 
 ing behind them, but before long, the Italian boat 
 followed. 
 
 Nicky's boat, rough as were its equipments, was very 
 fast, and he handled her splendidly. In a short time, she 
 had crept round the bay, dawdled a little on the south side 
 by the Noggin mouth, so as to be observed and suggest a 
 sort of presumptive alibi, and then leisurely made for the 
 barque. 
 
 They met the Harbour-master's boat in which were 
 seated Sergeant Doyle ; a man making notes, so laically 
 made up, that even a lisping babe would have recognised 
 him as a detective ; and another whom Nicky knew to be 
 a Custom's rummager. 
 
 They had just left the Tre Falti. 
 
 They had subjected the vessel to a more minute and 
 scientific search, but without result. 
 
 " We wanted to ask if the the criminal had any money 
 on him," said the Sergeant, after beamingly greeting Larry. 
 " His coat was found in the boat with dhivil a sixpence 
 in it. But we couldn't make the ignorant cratures 
 understand." 
 
 " Oh, we can put that right," said Larry, " if you turn 
 your boat and come alongside. I'm going on board, as I 
 promised the old Captain." 
 
 " Thank ye, sorr. He's a rale, dacent ould boy, and 
 mighty grieved. It's a sevare blow to him, so it is. I 
 wondher whether the murdhering rashcal has escaped 
 Hiv'n forgive me for being so sarcashtic on an untried 
 man ! " 
 
 Q 241
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "Well," said Larry, lighting a cigar and passing his 
 case into the other boat, the gunwales being held close 
 together. " If you think that he has, you should employ 
 those active lads of Nick's to seek him. Faith ! they'd 
 find a pipe stem if it was anywhere about those rocks 
 and precipices. You try them." 
 
 The detective glanced knowingly at the Sergeant, and 
 made a note. 
 
 " Bedad ! " said the latter, " and that's a good idea 
 intirely. There'll, maybe, be a reward offered. I'll 
 spake to the Inspector about it, Nicky." 
 
 " Thank ye kindly, sorr," humbly said Nicky, " and 
 something for the day's wurruk, for I'd have to hire help 
 in their places. An' sure, you're moighty wilcome to all 
 they can do, wid meself thrown in, to counshel an' 
 advige." 
 
 The detective made notes. 
 
 " Ask him about the drags," suggested the Custom's 
 rummager. 
 
 The Sergeant desired Nicky's opinions as to dragging 
 the Creek. 
 
 "Well, sorr," said Nicky, scratching his head. "It's a 
 grand plan. There's a moighty pull towards the middle 
 of the Creek, an' it's a moral that anything that's got 
 carried there wull be held fast." 
 
 " That's what I said," cut in the rummager. 
 
 The detective's pencil was very active. 
 
 " What makes ye think that things would be held tight, 
 there ? " questioned the Sergeant, judicially. 
 
 " Well, sorr, it's just this way. There's thim ould 
 hulks, an' the dredger and the barges and the derilick an' 
 the wreck all in a line, an' it shtands to rayson as there 
 must be hapes and hills of weed and tanglings o' stuff 
 about the chains and ancnws and moorings. An' maybe 
 
 242
 
 The "Tre Falti' 1 
 
 many a body as the good God alone knows of, caught and 
 kept there." 
 
 The detective was writing very assiduously, and the 
 others exchanged grave looks, whilst Nicky busied himself 
 with his sheets. 
 
 " Why don't they shift them, and do something with 
 them, and use that dredger to clean up the bottom ? " 
 asked Larry. 
 
 They all turned and regarded him with some amazement, 
 detective and all. 
 
 Then one remarked that somebody ought to do it ; and 
 another said that the Government always neglected them ; 
 and a third man observed that some people whom he could 
 name ought to be hanged, on general principles : and the 
 boats drifted alongside the barque. 
 
 "Now, sir," said Larry, "what's it you wish to ask?" 
 as the Captain, Augusto, and some others came to the side. 
 
 " Ask them, please, what money this Gaspardo Falti 
 had on him at the time of his escape ? " 
 
 The question was duly translated. 
 
 The Captain, after reflection, replied that he must have 
 had a pound or thirty shillings of the ship's money, so far 
 as he could judge from the little purchases he had made 
 on the preceding day. Also, he might, or might not, 
 have had some trifle of his own : he could not say, but he 
 did not think it possible that he could have had much. 
 
 At this point Augusto broke in tempestuously with 
 the information that the poor, unhappy, tenderly-loved 
 Gaspardo had a good deal of money on him much, much, 
 much. 
 
 He raised his voice, flung his arms wide, fluttered his 
 fingers until it seemed as if he had a dozen, at the very 
 least, on each hand, and went through a lightning 
 pantomime of counting innumerable coins and bundles of 
 
 243
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 notes, and stowing them in all sorts of ways and into 
 all sorts of recesses and receptacles on his person. 
 
 Larry laughed and translated faithfully, and the de- 
 tective made voluminous notes. 
 
 " How does he know all that ? " demanded Sergeant 
 Doyle, with a cloud on his face. 
 
 The Captain also sharply regarded his nephew as 
 Larry put the interpreted query. 
 
 " Aha ! " cried Augusto, his fine voice rolling out richly. 
 "I have searched. It was my dear Gaspardo's it is 
 mine, now, all mine, all mine. I had the right, Capo di 
 Bacco! I opened the box. I find only some few miser- 
 able moneys : and I know he had much much much. 
 And he's robbed me the fool, the ass, the mule, the 
 heretic, the irreligious pig ! Ha ! " 
 
 " You're a nice party, you are," said Mike. 
 "But," the Sergeant caused Larry to say, "How do 
 you know that he's dead ? You seem mighty cocksure 
 about it, my little man." He was angry with the fellow, 
 and wroth with himself for being so, but he could not 
 help it. 
 
 "Ha, diavolo! I have not the proofs. But he is dead 
 officially and that is enough for me." 
 
 The Captain gave him a look like a stab, and the sailors 
 on board turned burning eyes on each other. Augusto 
 spat defiantly into the bay, and swaggered away. 
 
 The detective made a few more notes, the Sergeant 
 thanked Larry, the Harbour-master's boat took its 
 passengers to M'Slogan's jetty, and Larry, with Mike 
 and Nicky, went on board the Captain appointing two 
 men to see that no one interfered with the painter of 
 the boat. 
 
 Larry, telling his two friends to keep their eyes on 
 him and to remain otherwise quiet, saw the necessity 
 
 244
 
 The "Tre Falti 
 
 of playing warily until the official boat had landed its 
 passengers. He, therefore, chatted with the Captain 
 on that morning's proceedings and other general topics, 
 and they were helped by the appearance in the offing 
 of the Cork steamer whose advance they watched 
 with an interest amounting to eagerness. Larry at 
 once perceived that her arrival would be a useful 
 diversion. 
 
 Augusto was persistently obtrusive. He thrust him- 
 self beside, and even between, Larry and the Captain, 
 interposed in their conversation, and was rudely assertive 
 and aggressive. 
 
 Larry's temper was rising, but he restrained it. Nicky 
 came up, and, pointing to the incoming steamer, 
 suggested that Tomasso should be signalled in so soon 
 as possible, before the steamer came along and flurried 
 or spied or swamped him. 
 
 "Signer Capitano," said Larry, "I want a word with 
 you, if the Signer Augusto will excuse us for a 
 moment." 
 
 " I do not permit it," said Augusto, arrogantly. 
 "Nothing shall pass or be said on my ship without my 
 knowing it on the first accosting." 
 
 " Your ship ? " asked Larry. The Captain simply gazed 
 at him but said not a word. 
 
 Yes yes. Mine, mine : two parts out of three 
 mine ha ! " 
 
 " But, Captain Martino is Captain." 
 
 " Ha, yes, yes. At present at present." 
 
 "Well, then," said Larry in a resolute tone, holding 
 the Captain's eye, "since that is so, will you, Captain 
 Martino, call your crew together. There is something 
 to be said to them." 
 
 " Certainly, Signor, assuredly they shall be summoned."
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " But why, why ? I object. I protest. My permission 
 has not been accorded. I do not give it. I categori- 
 cally refuse it. I countermand your order. I revoke 
 
 it. I " 
 
 " Augusto," said the Captain in a low voice, a red 
 spot on each cheekbone, "go below, until I call you." 
 
 " I refuse. My place is here. I am master. I shall 
 reverse our positions." 
 
 A quartermaster saluted and said that the crew had 
 mustered, including the two men at Nicky's painter, 
 except the two out fishing, and the pauvretto, Gaspardo. 
 The Captain looked enquiringly at Larry, who said : 
 " Tell them simply that you place the ship, yourself, 
 and crew at my disposal for what I have to do or say 
 this day in your interests." 
 
 The Captain bowed. As he stepped forward, Augusto 
 did so, too, as if to stop him. But there was a murmur 
 which arrested him, and the Captain's brief statement was 
 sanctioned by a deep and unanimous assent. 
 They looked expectantly at Larry. 
 
 Augusto rushed forward furiously, but Larry held up 
 his hand, and Mike had the first mate pinioned tightly 
 in his powerful hands. 
 
 " You are surprised," said Larry addressing the crew, 
 " but do not be alarmed. Everything mark ! I say 
 everything will be all right within a few hours. Quarter- 
 master; empty the prisoner's pockets; put everything on 
 the deck; also his arms, papers, matches tutti, tuttl. 
 He has rifled poor Gaspardo's box ; he has insulted your 
 noble Captain ; he has threatened and blustered ; he has 
 longed for Gaspardo's capture ; he has had the presumption 
 and the atrocious bad taste to be impolite to me ; he is 
 the enemy of all. I order him into imprisonment for 
 formal enquiry and judgment. You have some pleasant 
 
 246 

 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 surprises awaiting you. Captain, please lock up these 
 objects just taken from Augusto's person we shall hold 
 inquisition later; and appoint a guard over the prisoner, 
 whom please immure tightly in his cabin for the present. 
 His guards will pay for treachery with their windpipes. 
 It is lucid, final, and decreed. Go." 
 
 The general jubilation was a tribute to virtue. 
 Augusto's tears flowed fast and he tried to throw 
 himself at Larry's feet. But he was carried off and 
 locked up. 
 
 " Men," continued Larry, the sensational effects being 
 enhanced by his cool, strong bearing, and by the nods 
 and smiles of the Captain, "you will implicitly obey 
 your noble Captain Martino until you get to Palermo. 
 Signor Augusto forgot himself. His conduct was a 
 usurpation. His dealing with Signor Gaspardo's pro- 
 perty was an outrage. Why do I say this ? Look there 
 at that little white sail." 
 
 All heads turned in the direction he indicated with his 
 finger. 
 
 "That is your boat. In it are your Tomasso and your 
 Belisario, and they are bringing you your Signor Gaspardo, 
 alive and well and free." 
 
 With a wave of the hand he subdued the burst of 
 vivas, and went on : 
 
 "As to Signor Augusto I now disrate him. Your 
 Captain will deal with him as a man before the mast, or 
 as a prisoner : it is not my affair. At the next ebb 
 some pilots and men will come on board and take the 
 Tre Falti out of port. They will surrender the helm 
 and leave you only when your course is clear and easy. 
 Obey orders, keep quiet, show no lights, eat, rest, 
 and devoutly say your prayers. Now back to your 
 quarters." 
 
 247
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Not a man of them but came and, cap in hand, kissed 
 his hand, and genuinely felt that it would be a pride and 
 glory to follow him to the death. 
 
 The Captain, dignified and self-mastered as he was, 
 embraced him. 
 
 Chapter IV 
 
 " NICKY," said Mike, " it's meself doesn't be knowing a 
 little bit of what's forrud here, but it's rale fine, and the 
 Masther's got the grand shtyle of the highest quality, 
 and a thousand toimes the worth of it. But, oh, Nicky, 
 dear, what's this awful didly smell that seems to be 
 breaking bounds and coming at us like a ferocious 
 baste?" 
 
 " Sure, it's their late dinner they do be cooking, by all 
 the signs an' tokens." 
 
 " Signs an' tokens ! Begorra, thin, an' it's a chice an' 
 plazing mixter of ould-forgotten fish an' dhrowned dog 
 an' train-ile an' chemical top-dressing and niglicted 
 cheese an' damp boots an' burnt rags an' sick vinegar 
 an' rotting injins." 
 
 Larry came up and explained ; but the three of them 
 went to windward, and sweetened the encircling atmo- 
 sphere with pipes of violent pigtail tobacco. 
 
 Larry had told the Captain of the arrangement with 
 Tomasso for the repetition of the signal which was 
 being properly attended to. 
 
 Then the Captain had liqueurs and cigars brought up, 
 and Larry set out Nicky's programme. 
 
 Briefly, it was as follows : 
 
 The wind, it was pointed out, was blowing steadily 
 off-shore, and likely to freshen in the night ; the moon 
 was in her first quarter ; and the next ebb would be 
 
 248
 
 The "Tre Falti' 
 
 running pretty strong between two and three in the 
 morning. 
 
 Nicky would then be quietly at hand with half a 
 dozen men of his choosing, and work the barque out ; 
 and would either board her, or attach their boats with 
 strong rowers and muffled rowlocks. Of course, the 
 anchor would have to be slipped a serious loss, no doubt, 
 to be settled somehow with the underwriters. 
 
 The Captain smiled. 
 
 He had already unshackled the chain cable and sub- 
 stituted a Manilla cable, which he could wind on his well- 
 greased capstan without a creak, rattle or click. 
 
 The engines of the Cork boat were beginning to rouse 
 the shore echoes, when Tomasso came alongside, and in a 
 few minutes Gaspardo was being unfastened and the boat 
 hoisted on board. 
 
 " Gaspardo," said Larry sternly. " No harlequinade, 
 no theatricals, or hysterics. Be grave. Silence : and no 
 excitement or nonsense. Do you hear ? I command it." 
 
 Gaspardo looked serious and scared, went subduedly 
 and embraced his uncle, and, in turn, kissed every member 
 of the crew. 
 
 " Now," said Nicky reflectively, as he watched this with 
 deep disgust, " is it better to do that or die by the hands 
 of the common hangman, I wondher ? I'd rather choose 
 the rope." 
 
 " Aye, Nicky, if there was a good dhrop with it aha ! 
 It's the loikes o' me knows the loikes of ye." 
 
 " Tomasso," said Larry, " please go and assist Signer 
 Gaspardo to change into proper clothes, and also see that 
 he makes no scene about Signer Augusto's disturbance of 
 his property. This is not the moment." 
 
 " And, Tomasso," added the Captain, " under the 
 illustrious Signer's favour, tell Signer Gaspardo that he is 
 
 249
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 promoted to first mate, and yourself, faithful old friend, 
 second mate." 
 
 Tomasso saluted in dignified fashion. 
 
 In an instant it flashed into Larry's mind that both he 
 and the Captain were old man-o'-wars' men : and this im- 
 pression was afterwards verified. 
 
 And splendid sailors and marines the Italians make. 
 
 The narrator remembers being, when a youth, on terms 
 of friendship with a fine old tar who, as a Neapolitan lad, 
 joined one of Nelson's ships and finally, full of wounds and 
 honour, was laid up at Greenwich Hospital. But that 
 story and it is one of the historian's very favourite 
 ones and is true, besides may be recounted at another 
 time. 
 
 "Captain," said Larry laughing, "you must now make 
 your own bargain with this man" indicating Nicky. " I 
 can have nothing whatever to do with that not even 
 interpreting. He's an honest man, I can tell you that, and 
 what he undertakes to do he will do. Beyond saying this, 
 I shall not interfere. Don't give him all he asks and he's 
 not likely to take what you offer ; but you must fight it 
 out between you. Come, Mike." 
 
 He walked away, after telling Nicky the same thing. 
 
 It was amusing to witness the strange contracting 
 parties. The only English word which they seemed to 
 have in common was "sterlings"; but it served as a 
 starting point and standard, the rest was a matter of 
 fingers and dumb motions, helped out by heterogeneous 
 oaths and asides by Nicky, and by piercing looks and 
 quiet gnashings of teeth by the Captain. 
 
 If anything, Nicky had some lingual advantages for he 
 exclaimed " altro " and " baney " frequently and appositely, 
 whilst the Captain could muster only an occasional and 
 irrelevant " damme." 
 
 250
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Everything comes to an end, and at last Nicky received 
 a certain number of carefully counted and hesitatingly 
 parted with sovereigns, which he spat on, one by one, and 
 confided to his belt. 
 
 Then he conveyed, by an eloquent movement, the idea 
 of the ship being out at sea and bowling along under full 
 sail before daylight. 
 
 Nicky was a good deal more than a mere lobster-man. 
 Before he married he had been to sea from boyhood, and 
 he knew his work. He and the Captain had no difficulty 
 in understanding each other in matters of ship work, for 
 their minds ran in the same channel. 
 
 The foot of the mainsail was properly laced to the 
 boom and everything made taut and clear aloft ; other 
 sails were got ready and running-gear looked over; and 
 the hint to muffle the stops of the capstan and quietly get 
 up anchor, but dropping a couple of bowers, was at 
 once taken, with/ a dozen of intelligent nods ; and 
 execution promised at nightfall. 
 
 The time was agreed by Nicky's pointing thereto on 
 his great white watch. 
 
 " A last word, my Captain," said Larry ; " I hope that 
 you will do no violence to Augusto." 
 
 " Excellency," answered Captain Martino, " we can 
 have no secrets from you. I can give you no promise. 
 He will be tried and properly judged by us." 
 
 " Ah," said Larry, with a sigh. 
 
 "Nay, noble Signer, it shall be regular and calm and 
 merciful if possible. Come : stay and witness it yourself. 
 It shall be now." 
 
 " I ! No, no. And yet perhaps " He knitted his 
 brows in grave, even anxious, reflection. " He's a dead 
 man," said he to himself, " if left to them. I may prevent 
 another murder a cold-blooded one, this time." 
 
 251
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 He raised his thoughtful face and, in a few words, 
 assented. 
 
 The Captain gave some orders in a low tone. All 
 hands looked serious and bustled about in silence. 
 
 Within less than a quarter of an hour a sufficient space 
 had been cleared in the ship's waist, the Neapolitan, 
 Papal and Italian flags rigged to enclose a small square, 
 some seats placed, and a crucifix, crossed cutlasses, and 
 other mountings or emblems fixed up at the back. 
 
 The Captain took the central seat. Gaspardo, who 
 looked pale, collected and implacable, sat on the right 
 side ; Tomasso, with an air of grief on his fine old 
 Roman face, sat on the left j in front, according to rank 
 and seniority, squatted the rest of the crew, except 
 Augusto's guards, who were still below. 
 
 Breaking a stillness in which the men's breathing was 
 plainly heard, the Captain ordered the prisoner to be 
 brought up. 
 
 Larry, with his two friends, stood apart. He had 
 enjoined them to see and hear without a word or a 
 motion. 
 
 When Augusto, with arms still bound, appeared 
 between his escort, he seemed to take in the full signifi- 
 cance of the scene at a glance. 
 
 But he bore himself bravely, uttered one simple " Ah ! " 
 bowed to the Court, and stepped, as if quite familiar 
 with the usage, into the circle, where he stood, pale but 
 with head erect. There was no sign of fear, nor of 
 braggadocio; it was to him, apparently, as solemn and 
 properly-constituted a tribunal as any most ceremonious 
 and fearsome Court Royal could be. He accepted the 
 situation like a man, a gambler, a stoic, a philosopher and 
 a sworn brother of a secret confederation. 
 
 To the charge of treachery there could be no answer 
 252
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 and denial was futile. It was not even attempted. 
 Augusto flushed and bent his head. Every hand was 
 held up against him, thumb down as in the old Roman 
 circuses, to the accompaniment of a hoarse snarling growl. 
 
 The second charge, that of trying to rob a comrade, or 
 at all events, to snatch at his share of property or profit, 
 was equally unanswerable, but it evoked more lively 
 indignation. The men roared at him, ground their jaws, 
 shook their fists, and made as if seeking their knives 
 until the Captain held up a warning hand, when they 
 quieted down to flashing looks of hate and vengefulness. 
 
 The prisoner beheld but did not flinch, and it was an 
 astonishment to the onlookers that Gaspardo remained so 
 restrained and calm. The decision of the Court was 
 unanimous : the prisoner was guilty. 
 
 " So say you all ?" 
 
 " So say we all all," as with one voice. 
 
 " And your sentence ?" 
 
 " Death ! " The dread word rung out, subdued but 
 with frightful promptitude and unison. 
 
 " Augusto Falti : your comrades have found you guilty : 
 they have adjudged you to death. The verdict is just." 
 
 " The verdict is just," repeated Augusto, in a low un- 
 shaking tone, in his magnificent voice. 
 
 " And the sentence is Death. It is also just." 
 
 " The sentence is also just," repeated Augusto with 
 astounding steadiness and dignity. 
 
 Gaspardo rose and flung his arms round Augusto's neck, 
 and sobbed on his shoulder. 
 
 " My poor, mistaken, impetuous Augusto, Oh, I am 
 heart-broken. It is the drop of greed in the blood from 
 your mainland mother : the rest of thy Falti heart is noble 
 and good. Tell me, brother of my soul, what can I do 
 for any wishes thou hast anything, anything ? " 
 
 253
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 He rolled a cigarette, lit it and placed it between 
 Augusto's lips. At a sign from the Captain one arm was 
 freed. 
 
 " And oh, maledictions ! it is my hand that must give 
 thee the fatal blow and with thy poniard : for it is the 
 law." 
 
 "Yes, Gaspardo, mio caro, it is the law. I am content. 
 It was a mistake : I regret it. Finally, it is done, by 
 Bacchus ! Listen then." 
 
 "I listen, my cousin, my tenderly-loved, I listen: and 
 thou hast barely half an hour left." 
 
 " At Palermo," spoke Augusto : the fortitude of the 
 man was something wonderful: "At Palermo dwells 
 Lisetta : thou knowest her brothers. Give her my deeply- 
 cherished love. When I was being washed over-board 
 for it was an accident " 
 
 " Certainly, an accident. Washed overboard," re- 
 sponded his cousin. 
 
 " When I was washed overboard, and was sinking, the 
 last sound I uttered was Lisetta. And thou wilt give 
 her my gold chain and charms." 
 
 Gaspardo made a business-like note, and nodded. 
 
 " And there's also Estella, the pilot's youngest daughter, 
 she must have the locket and my books. Tell her that I 
 thought and spoke only of her, and that I kissed her 
 beautiful gift to me, which I always wore next my heart 
 you will find it with other things in my bag at the 
 instant when I surrendered my soul to God." 
 
 " I shall tell her, my dear Augusto faithfully," vowed 
 the greatly-affected Gaspardo. 
 
 " And you know the sweet and fairy-like Rosina our 
 good priest's niece." Here he whispered and his cousin 
 nodded ; and then he thought of others, each the sole queen 
 of his heart, with loving messages and keepsakes to all. 
 
 2 54
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Then, as he was about to be led away, after touching 
 farewells, from his uncle downwards, the scene changed 
 startlingly, for Larry stepped forward, towering even 
 above the Captain, held up his right arm, and cried 
 " Halt ! " 
 
 " Let the Court reassemble ! " he cried sternly. 
 
 "Illustrious Sir, Excellency and Noble Benefactor," 
 began the Captain. " We have acted according to our law 
 the law of our brotherhood which is older than most State 
 laws the law of the mountains of which we are natives. 
 We are the unconquered : the sons of the old Greeks. 
 Roman and Saracen and Spaniard and Italian have passed 
 over Sicily : but we are the old Sicilians, the owner-race, 
 the undefiled, the free. Other laws for others : our's for 
 ourselves." 
 
 Approval was graphic and fierce, but Larry was un- 
 moved. 
 
 " I do not dispute it, Signer Capitano, and you brave 
 Sicilians ; and I do not interfere with it. But, look round 
 you. This is Ballynoggin and not Palermo, Ireland and 
 not Sicily. It is for me to declare the law here, as it is for 
 you to declare it in your country. Your flags give you 
 no jurisdiction here : that " pointing to the Custom House 
 " that is the only flag which rules here." 
 
 There were mutterings and hostile gestures, which 
 observing, Mike and Nicky moved forward. Larry waved 
 them back, and proceeded : 
 
 " I have a solution that will satisfy you and everybody, 
 and will be free from danger, or violence, or complication. 
 Listen, calmly, for I am your friend much more than you 
 think." 
 
 They squatted around the Captain and his mates 
 resuming their chairs, but all looking darkly, and Augusto 
 impassive almost to indifference. 
 
 255
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Signer Capitano answer me. What is the value of 
 Augusto's share in the ship and venture ? A fair price to 
 buy at or to sell at ? " 
 
 There was general surprise, conjecture, and a quiet 
 consultation between the Captain and Gaspardo. 
 
 " What does Augusto say ? " asked the Captain. 
 
 The prisoner corrugated his brow, cyphered with the 
 fingers of his free hand in the air, and with those of the 
 bound one behind his back, and, after a while said : 
 
 " Twenty thousand lire." 
 
 The Captain and Gaspardo read the notes they had 
 made. They agreed the figures at fifteen thousand. 
 
 " Gaspardo," said Larry, " if you had money would you 
 buy at fifteen." 
 
 " Perhaps not more." 
 
 " And, if you had an offer now, would you sell at 
 fifteen." 
 
 " Si not less." 
 
 " Then I adjudge the price at fifteen thousand lire. 
 Signer Capitano : I presume that Gaspardo has not that 
 sum available. I propose that Gaspardo shall give you a 
 mortgage writing on both shares two-thirds of the whole : 
 that Augusto shall sign off his share to his cousin ; and that 
 you shall advance, or guarantee the money to Augusto. 
 Also, that the expenses which you are incurring now be 
 borne and paid you by Gaspardo. Also, that Augusto be 
 allowed to take his own personal belongings and papers, 
 including his formal discharge, and that he be put on shore 
 safely, somewhere off the coast, or be placed in a suitable 
 boat with provisions and water, in the track of ships not 
 more than a dozen miles from the shore. Also, that you 
 all give me your word of honour, as men of the mountain 
 and good Catholics, as we are, not to injure him, nor retain 
 his things. Lastly, that he swear not to disclose the 
 
 256
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 escape of Gaspardo, and stick to his one story of having 
 had a quarrel and insisted on leaving the ship. And he 
 must remain in close custody, bound and guarded, until 
 the ship is at sea." 
 
 It was a long time before the excited discussions 
 ended. 
 
 " But he is a dead man if ever he is found in Italy," 
 said the men, as if in chorus, and the officers confirmed it. 
 
 " And he will be a dead man here if he proves a 
 traitor or loose-tongued a fool, a knave, or a perjurer." 
 
 They liked that amazingly, and showed much approving 
 but unamiable kindling eye and gritting tooth and clutch- 
 ing claw. 
 
 " Some day I may visit you in Sicily," added Larry, 
 relaxing smilingly. 
 
 " lol You are free of the mountain and of the island," 
 came the reply in a shout. " And woe to him who 
 touches a thread or a scudo of your's ; or attempts any hurt 
 to your body or life, Excellency by the word and the sign ! 
 Signor Capitano, be pleased to give them to our illustrious 
 and never-to-be-forgotten friend and. benefactor this 
 splendid Englishman." 
 
 "Now, if they'd only had the sense to say Irishman: 
 but, sure, they don't know the difference and, if they 
 did, they'd likely be puzzled and think worse the 
 ignorant cut-throats that they are ! But they're fine 
 fellows all the same, bedad ! " mused Larry. 
 
 The Captain solemnly, but secretly, gave him a pass- 
 word and hand-grip. He whispered a message to a sailor 
 who dived below and reappeared with an old-fashioned 
 Oriental-looking curved dagger in appropriate sheath, and 
 with a belt-attachment bearing strange symbols and 
 inscriptions. This, with much ceremony and in a few 
 complimentary sentences uttered with great impressiveness 
 R 257
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and sincerity, he presented to Larry, who in return took a 
 valuable pin from his scarf and himself stuck it in that of 
 the Captain's, amidst the enthusiastic vivas of the crew, 
 and to the delight of Nicky and Mike. 
 
 Then, after a parting glass, and good wishes, and more 
 vivas, Larry and his friends left the Tre Falti Nicky 
 having taken a last look round at the preparations for the 
 start, and confirmed, finger on watch, the appointment for 
 the small hours of the following morning. 
 
 " The Custom House Quay, Nicky," said Larry, when 
 they were rowing to shore. "We must call all possible 
 attention to ourselves. Mike and I will have some dinner 
 at the Royal and hire a trap to take us to Baleila, where 
 we'll pass the night and take care they know we're 
 there, begorra ! To-morrow we'll come in and take the 
 afternoon boat to Cork for a few days. What do you say 
 to that, Mike, you sowl ? " 
 
 "Faith then, Larry, I'm just in that state that I want 
 straightening out somehow, for the moind o' me is in a 
 dhivil of a confusion and a crumple after these two days. 
 I don't know rightly if I'm aslape or awake." 
 
 "That's you, Mike. And, troth ! I've gone through 
 so much business, and seriousness of one sort or another, 
 that I want to go to bed for a week or else have a 
 gehenna of a shindy or a spree to put me right. And 
 that reminds me, there's a theatre company in Cork for 
 three nights." 
 
 " Yes, Larry, and there's thim spurs for the burruds " 
 
 " Of course. Glad you thought of it. That's most 
 important." 
 
 It must be set down here that Larry had brought with 
 him a cruel lust for and taste in cock-fighting, for which 
 purpose he and Mike had a number of birds in course of 
 education and physical preparation. He wanted some 
 
 258
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 horrible spurs of the Spanish fashion, and he and Mike 
 had resolved to see to that nicely-momentous matter in 
 Cork, Larry furnishing the descriptions and drawings. 
 
 " Nicky," said Larry, warningly, " on your life don't 
 tell me a thing about what's forward now or at any time. 
 Or any one else, more by rayson. Do you hear ? " 
 
 " Yes, sorr. An' I'd let meself be cut up into shmall 
 shtrips for bait before I'd say or do a mortial thing to 
 displaze ye for you're a prince of a man, an' I'd give a 
 pound to the won who dishputes that same, for the pride 
 an' happiness of breaking his hid, or getting me own bruk 
 in that cause, more pow'r to 't ! Begorra, and bedad, an' 
 be jabers, huroo ! " 
 
 "Larry," remarked Mike, almost worshippingly, "an* 
 it's a moighty lot o' mony this has cost ye, besoides the 
 talent an' the hid work and the nobleness an' the glorious 
 pluck of it all." 
 
 " Hush, Mike, hush ! What's a few miserable pounds 
 to the saving of a man's life or even his liberty. A man 
 like Gaspardo with no more thought than a young girl, 
 and no more feeling of responsibility for what he's done, 
 and a good deal less of intention beforehand, than a boy 
 robbing an apple-tree. And as to Augusto well, yes, 
 we managed that, but it was a sort of, what d'you call it ? 
 Oh, a sort of fluke not worth talking about. Here we 
 are : easy, Nicky. Hold fast. That's it. Good-bye, Nick. 
 Come Mike, for I'm as hungry as a jaguar." 
 
 Next morning the familiar mooring place of the Tre 
 Falti reflected the glancing dancing sunlight, but 
 Ballynoggin missed the barque, and nobody knew any- 
 thing about her departure. 
 
 " Stole away ! " said the Superintendent when he heard 
 259
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 the news. " I hope that's the last of her and all her 
 precious crew ! " 
 
 But that hope was destined to be unfulfilled. 
 
 Chapter V 
 
 THREE days later Larry and Mike, who had enjoyed 
 themselves greatly in Cork and renewed some of the 
 ancient friendships but not the warfares of the time 
 when the latter first met the former on his arrival in 
 Ireland a time that seemed now in distant perspective 
 were run down at Queenstown just as they were about 
 to embark on a trip to Liverpool. 
 
 It was, however, nothing more alarming than a sub- 
 poena to attend the Petty Sessions Court at Ballynoggin 
 to give testimony in the charge of Our Sovereign Lady 
 the Queen against Falti for wilful murder and some 
 alternative accusations. 
 
 Enquiries at the Cork Police Office, where he was 
 treated with much civility, elicited the information that 
 a boat had been picked up off Bantry Bay with a solitary 
 occupant, a foreigner, who was taken on board the collier 
 which was carrying supplies to the warships in that 
 bay. 
 
 As police notices had been sent from Ballynoggin with 
 descriptions of the criminal fugitive, there was no loss 
 of time, nor any excessive formalities, in sending the 
 man, securely guarded, to Ballynoggin, where he was 
 promptly charged, searched and put into a cell ; and, on 
 the following morning, brought before the Magistaates 
 and remanded. 
 
 " I do not think," said Larry thoughtfully, whilst 
 chatting to the Cork Inspector, " that I should act as 
 
 260
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 Interpreter now that I am summoned as a witness. Even 
 if it is regular and I don't see that it can be I should 
 not like it for my own sake." 
 
 The Inspector looked at him with some surprise. He 
 remembered the riots and ructions in which Larry had 
 figured some months ago, and he was scarcely prepared 
 for this sedate and reasonable representation. 
 
 A police clerk slipped a paper to him. It was a letter 
 from the Superintendent at Ballynoggin, which covered 
 the despatch of the subpoena, in which he spoke of Mr 
 O'Gra as a remarkably smart and gentlemanly young 
 fellow, who had rendered them very good service indeed, 
 both inside the Court and outside of it. 
 
 " You are quite right, sir," said the Inspector, with 
 much respect. 
 
 "Cannot you find some man here in Cork there's none in 
 Ballynoggin except myself, and I am out of the question 
 who speaks Italian and English ? " 
 
 The Inspector conferred with some of his officers, and 
 Larry whispered to Mike : 
 
 " Begorra, then, Mike, but the fun's not over yet. I 
 see a lot more coming, for it's Gusty they've got and they 
 think it's Gassy." 
 
 Mike give him a delighted look and furtively slapped 
 his leg. He would have done a bit of doubleshuffle, 
 but the place forbade. And it may here be pointed 
 out that Larry's diction had been greatly purified and 
 improved since he had been in Father Blount's hands, 
 and it was only in moments of familiar unreserve or 
 wildness that he reverted to his natural idioms and 
 brogue. 
 
 " There's that old music-teacher in the room over 
 Widow Nolan's haberdashery. Zanelli's the name. A 
 starved, still, sober man that seems to earn next to 
 
 261
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 nothing, and lives on it, bedad ! somehow and walks 
 like a lord," said a constable. 
 
 " Fetch him. Don't frighten him. Tell him it's 
 maybe a job of translating : and a little bit of money 
 would be a godsend to him. Let him come on alone," 
 said the Inspector, adding to Larry, " you will be able 
 to judge, sir, if he'll do. I have no doubt he'll be 
 quite willing." 
 
 Signer Zanelli was perfectly competent, and com- 
 posedly eager; and the Inspector at once telegraphed 
 to Ballynoggin, with the result that Signor Zanelli, 
 Larry, and Mike travelled together by that morning's 
 train to the western port. 
 
 " The poor beggar must have a lawyer, Larry," said 
 Mike. 
 
 " Yes ; and he's got the money to buy one or will 
 have." 
 
 " How's one to be got ? " 
 
 " Well, there's Lawyer Kennada him as Father 
 O'Kay knows well, an' as my mother employs at 
 times " 
 
 " Oh, very well then. You bring him to the Court, 
 when we get to the town, and I'll see if I can get 
 leave to speak to Gusty bad lot as he is and tell 
 him. Anyway, he shall have a lawyer, if I'm to buy 
 one myself, bedad ! " 
 
 " That's you, Larry," said Mike admiringly. 
 
 The hearings were long and tedious, and the remands 
 frequent : but, at length, the identity of Augusto was 
 established for all practicable purposes, though not 
 without great difficulty ; for prosecuting Crown Counsel 
 were sent down from Dublin, and Mr Kennada was 
 not going to let them be defeated too briefly or too 
 easily. He wanted plenty of stress and strain of con- 
 
 262
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 flict ; of traps, surprises and skirmishings ; of false 
 moves and striking triumphs ; of arguments and the 
 play of wit and flow of rhetoric, as well as of super- 
 abundant evidence. 
 
 In the end, the accused was ordered to be discharged, 
 in spite of the vehement and impassioned periods of the 
 Dublin barristers who asserted that the identity and 
 guilt of the prisoner were as clear as the sun at noon. 
 Mr Kennada, in turn, poured out upon them a super- 
 heated stream of sarcasm and derision taunting them 
 with ignorance of their own case and inability to grasp 
 their own points, or to see whither their reasonings 
 tended or what their theories implied ; and how every 
 argument of theirs, pointed to a different conclusion, 
 which they had missed ; and every conclusion required a 
 different argument, which they had forgotten to supply : 
 and much more in the same fluent vein. 
 
 Of course, he obtained immense credit and applause 
 the crowning glory being in the underlying impression 
 that he created that the Italian was a good deal more 
 guilty than the Crown had tried to prove, and that he had 
 snatched away their prey not because of innocence, but 
 in spite of guilt by his forensic prowess. 
 
 Mr Kennada was loudly cheered in the Market Square, 
 in which the Court-house part of the Townhall stood : 
 Augusto was carried shoulder-high, and, later in the day, 
 there was a demonstration, with a cornet and drum, outside 
 the dingy little inn in the square to which a constable had 
 directed him, and where he took up his temporary abode : 
 and Larry slipped out by a side-door and carried off Signer 
 Zanelli and Father O'Kay to dinner at the Royal Hotel. 
 
 Augusto became a hero in the town. He kept himself 
 quiet, and it was rumoured that he had opened a banking 
 account and seemed in no hurry to leave the town. 
 
 263
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Before a week had passed he was joined by another 
 Italian who spoke English ungrammatically and easily. It 
 was another cousin of his a waiter in London for whom 
 he had sent. 
 
 It was not long to cut this rambling story short 
 before Augusto became the owner of the down-at-heel 
 and dirty little inn in which he lived, which was soon 
 transformed into an attractive restaurant the drinking 
 part being kept distinct from the other. Captain Martino 
 had kept faith as to the money. 
 
 He became at once mightily popular: and the navarin 
 de mouton which he introduced was spoken of and sought 
 after far and wide. 
 
 He quickly picked up a working knowledge of the 
 language, and before six months had elapsed, an adjoining 
 empty store was added to his premises. In the evenings, 
 the linen was taken off the little tables in the long room, 
 and Signer Zanelli played on a piano on a little platform, 
 and Augusto sang, and strummed, and did southern dances. 
 So profits rolled in, the police looked on benevolently, and 
 Augusto Falti became Augustus Foley, the husband of a 
 handsome and buxom Irish wife and, through her, related 
 to nearly three-eighths of the population. 
 
 He, one day hinted, to Mr Kennada that he would like 
 to have his innocence more perfectly and publicly estab- 
 lished, for he was the recipient of perpetual congratulations 
 on his prompt vindication of piety, and on his luck in 
 having such clever aids as Larry and lawyer Kennada. 
 
 "Look here, Gusty," said that astute solicitor. "You 
 leave things alone, if you don't want to be ruined and 
 kicked out of the town as an ignoble impostor. If your 
 innocence were proved, why, man alive ! you'd lose your 
 character, that's what you'd do, bedad ! You'd lose your 
 character, and not a crature would respect you to the 
 
 264
 
 The "Tre Falti" 
 
 value of a twopenny curse. See that, now, and hould 
 your silly tongue." 
 
 Augustus Foley became a Town councillor, and Signer 
 Zanelli took up his residence in Ballynoggin, in a condition 
 of peace of mind and bread, with fifteen shillings weekly 
 certain ten from Gusty for two hours nightly, and five 
 from Larry for playing at High Mass every Sunday in the 
 Chapel at Kilmacartie which was itself affluence, apart 
 from private tuition, translations or other opportunities. 
 
 It was comical to hear Augustus who developed into 
 a jovial, good-hearted, shrewd fellow and fervid Irish 
 patriot talk with a massive West-country brogue and roll 
 his begorrrrra's and broaden his bedada's. 
 
 The silver cup which Larry had to bestow when the 
 infant Augustus Larry Foley " came to the fore " 
 remains exhibited in a conspicuous place of honour in 
 Councillor Foley's Restaurant. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 So ends the rambling story of Gassy and Gusty. 
 
 265
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 IN the long dull road running inland from Ballynoggin 
 for some distance parallel with the river stood a pair of 
 semi-detached but mean-looking little villas known as Ivy 
 Cottages. 
 
 Each had a scrap of yard-cum-garden behind it, both 
 spaces backing on a spacious and richly weed-grown wharf 
 on which rose the .wreck of a signboard whose remaining 
 legible letters informed the painstaking reader that John 
 Cairney dealt in coals, bricks, cement, stone, slates, etc. 
 
 But everybody knew that this was but a legend : the 
 premises might have been explored minutely without dis- 
 covery of even a sample of the substances set forth. 
 
 Mr Cairney's office was in the front palour of No. I. Its 
 window held a battered wire-blind with part of the title of 
 an Insurance Company thereon ; its portal bore a small 
 though dingy plate on which his name dimly appeared. 
 
 Yet slack, if not dead, as seemed the coal and building 
 trading, and obtrusively void of display as was the poor 
 little house with its torn and faded wire-blind and un- 
 polished name-plate, Mr Cairney carried on a good deal of 
 business of a nature so quiet that it almost bordered on 
 mystery. 
 
 For it was scarcely credible that any epidemic of fore- 
 thought would be so lasting, and so eccentric, as to bring 
 to him so many anxious-looking farmers, careless-looking 
 
 267
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 officers, responsible-looking solicitors, shamefaced-looking 
 traders, defiant squireens, haughty Quality, and others, 
 for the sole purpose of insuring their lives or property. 
 
 Mr Cairney's merchandise was money. He lent it, 
 and he was known in select circles as a hard man, but 
 just in his dealings on his own terms. 
 
 He had married the widow of his employer, the coal 
 and brick merchant. She brought him the pair of cottages, 
 the wharf with the modest stock in hand, and her infant 
 daughter. Then she produced young John Cairney and 
 died when he was some three years old. 
 
 Mr Cairney began, innocently enough, by making small 
 advances, well secured, to builders who bought materials 
 from him. These, by reason of methods well-established 
 in such matters, turning out very profitably, he soon 
 relinquished the commercial department and devoted his 
 keen cold mind to the purely financial one. 
 
 So much for the preamble. 
 
 At this point, his step-daughter, Alice Gorman, was 
 about five and twenty, and his son, John, about two years 
 younger. 
 
 John was an auctioneer's clerk in the town, and con- 
 tributed twelve shillings weekly, out of his salary of 
 eighteen, for his board and lodging. 
 
 Alice was cook, working-housekeeper and general 
 utility. She had the help of a very small girl, who went 
 home to sleep, and whose uncostly employment was 
 sanctioned chiefly because somebody had to attend to the 
 front door. 
 
 The household was run on severely economical principles 
 mitigated, in some degree, by frequent presents, from 
 grateful or propitiating clients, of butter, eggs, poultry, 
 bacon, potatoes and other small farm produce. 
 
 These Mr Cairney always tried to assess when he had 
 268
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 the chance and to deduct for : but, on the whole, the 
 exchanges ruled, on balance, in favour of Alice. 
 
 She was a cheerful, healthy, good-looking girl, and 
 earned her very moderate dress-money by lace-making in 
 such spare time as her numerous and almost constant duties 
 left her. 
 
 Now, Mr Cairney had for a long time suffered from a 
 physically weak heart, and at the period when this plain 
 little story really begins he knew that the end was rapidly 
 approaching. The two leading physicians of the town 
 had just told him that it might be a question of hours, or 
 of days with odds on the former. 
 
 He walked calmly home, sent out the wee servant for a 
 whole bottle of Hennessy's brandy, lit his pipe, and with 
 perfect composure wrote some letters and busied himself 
 until supper time with his books and papers. 
 
 Next morning, after the early but frugal breakfast, Mr 
 Cairney told his son that he wished to speak to him and 
 that he had arranged for his not going to his business, as 
 usual for the present, at all events. 
 
 John's heart fell. He bethought himself, with a quick 
 pang, of his debts fully three pounds odd ; and of his 
 sweetheart, Cecily Dermott, of next door ; and of other 
 possible misdemeanours in the way of a gold scarf pin, a 
 gorgeously brazen watch-chain, and some furtive billiards. 
 
 So he followed heavily to the parlour-office which his 
 father always kept locked in his absence, and forbidden 
 when at home : inasmuch as he made neither friend nor 
 confidant of his son and scarcely ever spoke to him save in 
 admonitions that were snarls, or comments that were 
 sneers, or complaints that were arraignments chiefly as 
 to his extravagant habits and general imbecility, according 
 to his own conception of useful brain power. 
 
 The interview was startling and momentous. 
 269
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 "John," began Mr Cairney, "I want you to listen to 
 me carefully, and not interrupt. You needn't make any 
 notes, for I've got everything in order." 
 
 " Yes, sir," said John, gravely and fearfully, for a 
 sudden premonition struck him. He had not before 
 noticed it, but he now saw that his father looked worn, 
 wasted, and weak. 
 
 The elder Cairney read his son's mind in his eye. 
 
 " That is it, John," he said, unemotionally. " I am 
 going fast. A man's like a bill ; it's short breathing when 
 the term's matured and only the days of grace left ; for 
 they run off while you think of them. That's the case, 
 precisely, now with me." 
 
 Young John was suffering in his way, for his heart was 
 moving, and he could almost have thrown his arms around 
 his father's neck, as he still remembered doing when a tiny 
 boy : but he felt awkward and ashamed. 
 
 " Father," he said, with a bit of tremble of lip and 
 voice, " I I wish I'd noticed sooner that you were unwell. 
 I might have helped you no, not here, not business. I 
 mean looked after you, you know. But you never 
 complained, and I neglected I I " 
 
 " John," answered his father, with a softened look, 
 " perhaps I'm to blame, not you. Looking at you now, it 
 comes on me almost as a surprise that you're a man, and 
 I've always treated you as a boy a mere raw lad. I I 
 almost wish now that it might be possible to hold over 
 for me to live a little longer so that you and I might 
 really make each other's acquaintance : but that's out of the 
 question, out of the question on any terms. So now, 
 listen : 
 
 " I've made all arrangements. My Will is in the larger 
 safe ; but I don't believe in throwing more money away 
 than can be avoided in paying Government duty, so I've 
 
 270
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 had transferred to you, on deposit account, the bulk of my 
 uninvested money. I have endorsed to you whatever 
 passes in that manner j there are conveyances into your 
 name of properties, mortgages, and the like, and transfers, 
 duly executed, of bonds and shares. The date is filled in, 
 too, and everything is in order, with specific instructions 
 as to what is to be done, or not done, with each item. 
 Everything else passes by the Will. 
 
 He took what he called a spot of brandy, and went on 
 his son's head being in a whirl. 
 
 "It will total up, after all outgoings, to something 
 over thirty-five thousand pounds thirty-five thousand 
 pounds." 
 
 He lingered on the figures almost gloatingly, and 
 experienced something like disgust when he saw that 
 they evoked no enthusiasm, and but little interest in 
 his son. He was just forming the reflection "I 
 always said he was a fool " when young John cried : 
 
 " Oh, to h with the money, father ! Don't talk 
 
 of it. Oh, you are not so bad as you say ! Surely, the 
 doctors care rest " and then he broke down and 
 covered his face with his hands, whilst he shook with 
 his sobs. 
 
 " It's too late, my son," said his father, with a feeling 
 that he thought had been dead in his heart for a score of 
 years. " But but I'm glad and proud, now, that I have 
 a son. I've had no pleasure in my money, except in 
 the making it. I've had the anxiety and the toil : I don't 
 grudge it now, my boy for you will have it. Now," 
 becoming cool and businesslike once more, " listen, and 
 let us get to the end, for the sheriff may be in at any 
 moment I mean, my summons is on the way, and I 
 shall have to accept short service when it conies. 
 
 " I have, for some time past, drawn in my business and 
 271
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 invested my money. There is now only some six or 
 seven thousand pounds outstanding. You are not to 
 carry on the business for one single day. This is absolute. 
 You've not got the head for it, nor the experience. 
 Mind now, this is absolute. Not a single transaction is 
 to be renewed on any condition whatever. Every one 
 has my instructions attached where you may give a little 
 time, and how much, and where you must refuse. In 
 every case, you must follow my orders to the letter. Let 
 no appeals, promises, or payments tempt you. Your 
 simple answer must be that you have no discretion 
 your instructions are precise and inflexible." 
 
 John heard, without much attention, and nodded 
 assent. 
 
 "Next," pursued Mr Cairney, "don't set up to be a 
 gentleman, or be consorting with the like. You've not 
 the education, nor the training : manners are soon learnt, 
 it's not that ; the training is in keeping your head at all 
 times, and smiling, and never saying what you think, and 
 all that. By the time you've learnt that lesson if you've 
 the folly to try it you will have a useless knowledge for 
 your pains, and your teachers will have your money, and 
 only contempt for you." 
 
 " Yes, father," said John. 
 
 "Stick to business: it's healthy, and fit for you, and 
 keeps you in a wholesome rut. Make money it's a 
 right and useful thing to do, if done rightly. And, in 
 the years to come, you will marry and, please God ! have 
 sons, and then you may use your riches and make gentle- 
 men of them, and start them so in early life : send them to 
 college, and back them with your money, and have your 
 solid glory and satisfaction that way. Do you mind now, 
 John?" 
 
 "Yes, father," again answered John, this time rather 
 272
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 absently, for Cecily Dermott suddenly came before his 
 mind, and was weighed and dismissed in a fraction of a 
 second. 
 
 Some directions followed as to the depositing of deeds 
 and securities at the bank ; as to the funeral arrangements, 
 and other minor matters. 
 
 Then John remembered something. 
 
 " And Lally, father ? " asked he. 
 
 " That's all right, John. Folio 31 in the private ledger. 
 I treat her as a creditor and not as a legatee ; to save duty, 
 you know. She's no claim on me, of course, but I prefer 
 to give her all her mother brought me. These houses 
 you will find the executed conveyance to her in the safe 
 go to her, and she stands credited with the rents, less 
 outgoings, and the value at cost of her father's stock, less 
 debts and expenses. I debit her keep and schooling and 
 so forth, but I credit her with fair interest and something 
 for house-service these past few years. I had debited the 
 account with the moiety of her mother's funeral expenses 
 but I crossed that entry yesterday. The total in her 
 favour besides the houses and the contents of this one, 
 except your things and what's in this room works out at 
 ^1038, and some odd shillings and pence. Add for a 
 keepsake and black frock and bonnet, and it's squared at 
 1050. But it is not to be told to her, nor paid to her, 
 for three months after my death, mind. Why ? Well, 
 one reason is that you may want to keep this house going 
 for that time, at least " 
 
 " I see," said John. 
 
 Then Mr Cairney explained his inventories and lists ; 
 the docketed bundles of securities ; the books and the 
 instructions ; the bank-books ; the money and things in 
 the safe ; the deeds ; the Will ; the note-books ; the names 
 of his local and Dublin solicitors, etc., etc. all in perfect 
 s 273
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 order. He was a very systematic man, and had never 
 employed a clerk. 
 
 Finally, he drank another spot of brandy, and bade John 
 take a walk whilst he took a little rest. There was yet 
 an hour to the one o'clock dinner. 
 
 But that meal was never eaten by them that day. 
 
 For, when John returned, his father was sitting in his 
 easy chair, dead with a smile on his face, and in his 
 hands an old faded daguerotype of his wife and John, 
 then a baby, on her lap. 
 
 For about a week after the quiet funeral John secluded 
 himself from everybody, except his half-sister. 
 
 He did not brood, nor busy himself over his affairs ; for 
 the most part, he nursed his head in his hands, with elbows 
 on the table, or simply smoked and read, and took long 
 country walks at night only. He would see no one 
 not even the Dermotts ; nor answer letters, nor give 
 appointments. 
 
 Alice at one moment feared that his sudden fortune had 
 affected his mind ; but she soon perceived that he was 
 really grieved, and not a little stupefied. 
 
 So, woman-like, she said little and observed much, and 
 was in no wise alarmed. 
 
 Then, moodily enough, he became accessible to 
 callers. 
 
 It almost looked like an organised descent upon him, 
 from all quarters, of people wanting to borrow money ; to 
 sell him properties ; to interest him in schemes and patents ; 
 to suggest partnerships, or inspire ambitions. But they 
 departed with blank and wondering faces some angry, 
 some contemptuous, some incredulous with young Mr 
 Cairney's reply in their ears : 
 
 274
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 " My father's business is being wound up. There will 
 be no new business." 
 
 When this formula had been repeated, perhaps several 
 times, without change, on some of the parties attempting 
 to argue, banter or coax, it became forcible as regards the 
 hearers and somewhat trying as regards the speaker. 
 
 It was humanly inevitable that especially in view of 
 his life hitherto, his obscurity, poverty and general insig- 
 nificance a sense of importance should now rise in his 
 bosom. He was rich, he had power, he was asked for 
 help and favours, he was Mr Cairney. 
 
 And he felt a something aroused in response, as if it 
 had slept until now, which told him half angrily that he 
 had been most unfairly kept down and under ; and, more 
 than half proudly, that he was the equal of anybody, and 
 that he could buy up a dozen or more of the men whom 
 he had been in the habit of looking up to, in the town. 
 
 But the feeling of elation was clouded when any officers 
 called about advances or renewals. Vainly he essayed 
 imitation of their ease of manner, or hauteur, or coolness, 
 or ofF-handedness, or indifference. 
 
 "Ah!" he would sigh, when alone. "If I had only 
 had more chances ! I could have done with less money. 
 It's grand to be a gentleman. Why shouldn't I be one ? " 
 
 He resolved to go to Dublin perhaps, London for a 
 short time, so soon as he could make the necessary arrange- 
 ments in connection with the outstanding matters of his 
 father's estate. 
 
 " There are too many people here," said he to himself, 
 " who have always called me John simply, John. And 
 there are lots that I don't want to have anything more to 
 do with now. And then there's 
 
 " She's a nice enough girl is Cecily Dermott, and Tom 
 is a nice enough fellow ; and it would have been right 
 
 275
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 enough at one time : but now Oh, I must end it all, 
 
 now ; and going away's the thing, and no writing nor 
 explaining. Meantime, I'll give few opportunities to any- 
 body to see me, or speak to me except on business 
 matters." 
 
 Now, when a man is in the mood to tempt the Tempter, 
 the means glide swiftly to hand. Some people call them 
 coincidences ; but this is an evasion ; for opportunity, and 
 facility do not spring of their own accord, but are like 
 sound answering touch on stringed instruments. There 
 is more than one cares to admit in the Devil's temporal 
 sovereignty. 
 
 Captain Fferroll and the Honble Fermough Lant called 
 on John Cairney. 
 
 The Captain was a fiercely-proud man with a severe air 
 and a white moustache. He was of the oldest County 
 aristocracy, had gone through all his means, and was 
 living with his maiden sister in the neighbourhood. 
 
 The Honble F. Lant was a handsome, self-assured, 
 extremely well-dressed man of about thirty possibly, 
 less. Mr Cairney knew all about the case ; it was marked 
 " No terms. Must be paid." Judgment had already been 
 signed for the debt, interest and costs over 1200, but 
 it had been held over, on some security being given, for a 
 period of which a couple of months had yet to run. The 
 endorsement bore a note that the arrangement was purely 
 verbal, and that the elder Mr Cairney's word was given 
 on the understanding that this further indulgence was 
 final, and that none of the obligants must prejudice the 
 creditor's security in any way. 
 
 All this rapidly passed through Cairney's mind as the 
 Captain scowlingly took a chair, and as Mr Lant greeted 
 
 276
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 him with unstudied affability not unmixed with a touch of 
 patronage. 
 
 After a brief remark or two in good enough taste 
 about his father, Cairney almost tingled when Lant re- 
 marked in an easy tone : 
 
 " Got leave, of course, under the circumstances. When 
 do you rejoin ? " 
 
 Cairney had to admit that he was not in the Service. 
 
 Lant was surprised never was so astonished in his life. 
 Why, he had the look and cut of a well set-up officer all 
 over him. Didn't the Captain think so? 
 
 The Captain frowned and assented with the muttered 
 addition, strictly to himself " Yes, by Jove ! On sentry 
 
 go-" 
 
 Cairney felt flattered : and then Lant, almost as if it were 
 an afterthought, alluded to the little matter of business 
 with the deceased gentleman. 
 
 " Of course, I'm not going to talk over these trumpery 
 things with you. You're not carrying on " 
 
 " No, I certainly am not. It is being wound up, for 
 good and all." 
 
 "Congratulate you, dear old chap. You're much too 
 dashed thoroughbred for this sort of thing. As likely 
 make me a pawnbroker, ha, ha ! I suppose you get your 
 blood on the other side " 
 
 " My mother was a Driscoll-Hone," said Cairney, 
 vaguely and tentatively trying to get away from the 
 Cairney strain and to mount to the opinion of his 
 visitor. 
 
 " You don't say that ? You really do not mean 
 deliberately to say that ? " queried Mr Lant, in sudden 
 excitement. 
 
 " Oh, yes it's perfectly right," answered Cairney 
 with more confidence now that he had struck a correct 
 
 277
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 note, which, moreover, was also true ; and he felt 
 himself on a higher plane of being. 
 
 "Then all I can say is," exclaimed Mr Lant, "that 
 this is the most extraordinary discovery in the world, 
 for I'm more than half a Driscoll-Hone myself my father 
 and mother were second cousins, you know. John, you 
 have some of the best blood in Munster in your veins 
 and you belong to us. Con-found it all ! It's the 
 most curious find I ever made in my life ; and in our 
 own family, too ! " 
 
 The Captain blinked and said that nothing surprised 
 him, and that it was all deuced funny very. 
 
 Cairney controlled himself, but he was filled with 
 elation, and with contempt for his past and present 
 surroundings. He now, at a flash, understood that the 
 aspirations, discontents, dreams, and rebellings against 
 the limitations of his lot, in the years gone by, were but 
 the stirrings of the nobler fluid in his circulation. 
 
 " Oh, drop all this wretched business ah, I remember, 
 you said you intended to do so. Glad of it. And get 
 out of this deadly hole. Why, they can't even clothe 
 you decently. Look at your things ! I tell you what. 
 Come up to Dublin." 
 
 John admitted that he had just resolved to go there. 
 
 " That's the thing. See something : be somebody. 
 Anyway, get into decent clothes, and see something of 
 men and the world. Daresay, we can manage a Militia 
 or Yeomanry Commission for you. Come straight to 
 my rooms here's my card. I'm staying down here, 
 with my friend Captain Fferroll, but I shall leave to- 
 morrow or next day. Good-bye, Jack. Mind you 
 come to me. And, by the way, bring those dashed 
 papers with you. I want to settle it up, anyway and 
 now more than ever. Never do, you know, for any 
 
 278
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 confounded matter of business to be between us now, 
 would it ? Ha, ha ! " 
 
 The Captain gasped and gurgled and glared, and 
 eventually he held out a fish-cold but nerveless hand 
 to young Cairney and followed his lively and effusive 
 companion into the street. Whence they made their 
 way to the County Club. 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 MR CAIRNEY was now in his seventh or eighth week 
 of residence in Dublin, and was getting splendidly 
 miserable and wearied. 
 
 When he left Ballynoggin he gave Lally 20, for 
 household expenses and told her that he would send 
 more when that was done. He was going to Dublin 
 on business, he said, and he anticipated any remarks 
 of her's by requesting her not to speak about any person 
 or thing except the house and herself. 
 
 He was now in fashionable rooms, well-dressed and 
 jewelled, with a horse (he was taking riding lessons) 
 which he detested, a valet whom he feared, invitations 
 that he was beginning to mistrust, and tradesmen's bills 
 that he was too often unable to understand. 
 
 Mr Fermough Lant took entire charge of him. He 
 introduced him to his own tailor, bootmaker, hosier, 
 hatter, saddler, wine merchant ; to numerous aristo- 
 cratic, dramatic, sportive and other friends ; and, with 
 delicate but not undue regard to Cairney's mourning, 
 inducted him into choice card parties and pleasant little 
 suppers and quiet drives, and fair as well as rollicking 
 companionships. 
 
 These things may have graven lines of experience for 
 279
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 use in after years, but, during the process, Mr Cairney 
 did not shine. He was so flattered, he was so convinced 
 that he was naturally as good as the best of them, he so 
 felt the power of his money, that he, almost aggressively, 
 took his own equality, if not superiority, for granted ; 
 and he made up for want of tact and ease of manner 
 by a loud assertiveness which seemed to please every- 
 body, for they smiled a good deal, and greatly satisfied 
 himself. 
 
 But, at times, his commercial mind revolted at being so 
 often called upon to pay outrageously without a sign, as 
 it was bad form to haggle, or question, or even to be 
 supposed to have much notion of vulgar arithmetic. 
 Nevertheless, he had had a few words with his rattling 
 Mentor over accounts which had come to him whilst the 
 goods had gone to the other. 
 
 And once or twice, in those enlightening phases known 
 as in one's cups, he had soliloquised so instructively in Mr 
 Lant's hearing, that the latter was, in turn and more 
 soberly, impelled to self-discourse. 
 
 " To think," he mused, " that I have burdened myself 
 with this unlicked cub all this time to no effect ! What 
 are a few commissions and pickings here and there a 
 bogus bet or two, a bit at cards, even a bolstering up of 
 my own shaky credit to what I was going for ? There's 
 that bill and judgment above all, that security letter 
 that I wanted so badly. Badly ! By Heaven, it's a 
 matter of life and death ! And I've overhauled every 
 scrap of paper in his rooms, and pockets, when he's been 
 snoring like a pen of pigs with the loaded liqueurs that I 
 weighed into him. I suppose the low-minded thief has 
 lodged them with his bankers or attornies. There's a 
 pretty gentleman for you ! Gentleman, bedad ! 
 
 "And even that was only part a small though urgent 
 280
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 part of my little game. I meant to bleed him dry, if I 
 could : for ten thousand, at the very least. And here's the 
 sordid beast, meanly calculating and casting up j and, though 
 he's everlastingly losing his head in important things, he 
 manages to keep it confound him ! in miserable matters 
 of business and money. I'll have him yet to his last 
 pound, the dirty hodman that he is at heart by hook or by 
 crook ; but I must act now in the other matter, for it's 
 no trifle. It's a desperate case and I'm a desperate man ! " 
 A few days later Mr Lant, Captain Fferroll who was 
 then in Dublin and Mr Cairney lunched together in a 
 quiet spot, and returned to Lant's rooms : that is, 
 Cairney was to join them there after just looking in at 
 his own. 
 
 " You must keep him under your eye for the next 
 three hours, at all costs," Mr Lant had impressed on the 
 Captain, secretly. 
 
 "But, but how the deuce can I drag the animal 
 about with me ? Suppose I meet somebody I know ? " 
 
 " Yes, that would be awkward. Why not keep him 
 here?" 
 
 " Oh, I'm not like you. I can't talk and even to try 
 
 to talk to him " 
 
 " I know. Let me see, now. I have it. Yes ; that 
 will do excellently well. Set him to work to write the 
 application and particulars for a Militia Commission, or 
 for Membership of the Club, or any dashed thing you 
 like, or all of them together ; and keep finding fault, or 
 improvements, and let him have to do it again and again ; 
 and, perhaps, get into arguments about them, or let him 
 blow and gas to his vulgar heart's content j anything, to 
 kill the next few hours. You must do it, my dear fellow. 
 I have told you how much hangs upon it, for you and 
 
 me." 
 
 281
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 The Captain frowned and moaned, said unedifying 
 things, and resigned himself to the painful task. 
 
 When Cairney arrived Lant excused himself as he had 
 an important appointment. His regrets at tearing himself 
 away were mitigated by the fact that the Captain had 
 kindly promised to give Cairney the benefit of his 
 knowledge and abilities in matters of the higher social 
 order, to make his footing assured in the circles which 
 their common ancestral blood entitled him to enter. 
 
 " Here's paper and ink, and all that," and he threw on 
 the table a great untidy leather thing, crammed full of 
 letters, invoices, invitation cards, playbills, programmes, 
 as well as the virgin page of clean writing paper and 
 envelopes. 
 
 " Oh please wait while I finish this article in the 
 Times" said the Captain when Lant had gone. It helped 
 to kill some time. 
 
 " Oh certainly, Captain, fire away," laughed Cairney. 
 " And I'll smoke some of Lant's cigarettes that I've 
 had to pay for, no doubt," he added in a lower 
 tone. 
 
 The Captain looked at him over his eyeglasses with 
 haughty aversion. 
 
 He was indolently pulling papers out of the fiat 
 leather sack, and reading them without any affectation 
 of concealment, or even of innocence. 
 
 The Captain prolonged his reading, but Cairney did 
 not seem to find the time dragging on his hands. On 
 the contrary, he appeared to be highly amused and, at 
 times, even deeply interested with his perusals. He 
 evidently enjoyed the excitement of dipping his hand 
 in the mystery bag, not knowing what the next haul 
 might produce ; and the relish of what he had already 
 read imparted zest to the pursuit. 
 
 282
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 " Why, why the beast, the cad, is actually reading 
 Lant's correspondence ! " growled the Captain. 
 
 " Old boy's lunch gone wrong," thought Cairney. 
 
 " Hem ! Haw ! Ha ! Mr a Cairney " the Captain's 
 face was blue with fury, and his moustache bristled. 
 
 " Hullo, Captain," answered Cairney, unimpressed. 
 "Woke up?" 
 
 "Excuse me, Mr a Cairney, but allow me to observe 
 that it is not usual a amongst gentlemen, you know 
 that is, in fact Why, dash it all ! you're reading Mr 
 Lant's a in fact, his correspondence, sir." 
 
 " Oh, I'm nearly through now. Just this little 
 pile 
 
 " But, but, it's private, you know, and, in fact " 
 
 "Most of it isn't, by any means. Some is, and it's 
 rich and rare, as the song says. Wouldn't have missed 
 it for a lot," laughed Cairney. 
 
 " But you mustn't, you know. It's the unwritten law. 
 It's an abuse and a in fact " 
 
 " All right, old chap " 
 
 "Sir!" 
 
 " Oh, keep your hair I mean, just stop chattering 
 a minute." He read, and laughed loudly, whilst the 
 Captain's veins swelled threateningly on his temples. 
 
 " Besides," resumed Cairney, wiping his welling eyes 
 and suppressing his further chucklings, " I've been waiting 
 for you. Now I'm quite ready." 
 
 The Captain sighed, swore inwardly, and they began 
 he dictating, the young man writing. 
 
 It was a letter to the Lord Lieutenant of the County. 
 
 The Captain was very deliberate indeed in collecting 
 his thoughts and framing his sentences. Every word, 
 apparently, had to be expressly chosen, after weighing 
 it against other words. 
 
 283
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 And when, at last, a draft had been settled, and fair 
 copied, he would bend his frowning brows over it, and 
 find that it would not do at all : and it had to be 
 re-written, as amended, only to be once more condemned 
 and altered. 
 
 After several exercises of this kind from " My Lord, 
 I have the honour" to "Dear Lord Beauvarlet, I beg," 
 and from " Your most obedient humble servant," " Your 
 obedient servant" to "Yours truly" the Captain came 
 to the conclusion that it would be best to write in the 
 third person : and they started on that tack. 
 
 It was during a somewhat lengthened consideration 
 by the Captain of one .of these drafts, that Cairney, 
 fingering one of the letters out of the big-mouthed 
 portfolio, idly asked the Captain : 
 
 " Have you any relation at Hautcollis named Amelia, 
 besides your sister ? " 
 
 The question was so sudden that the Captain answered, 
 being taken by surprise : 
 
 "No, sir, I have not. But but what the devil is it 
 to you, sir ? How dare you you, sir name my sister ? 
 Dash your impudence, sir ! I I in fact " 
 
 " Oh, go slow, old horse. If you had behaved yourself 
 I would have told you something, but now, you may go 
 and be hanged. Ha, ha ! " 
 
 " You wretched little cad ! I I in fact " 
 
 " Oh, drivel away, you old fool. And all this time 
 your sister, whose name I must not take into my low-born 
 mouth, is trotting off with your precious chum the Honour- 
 able Fermough Lant. Ho ! ho ! " 
 
 "What ! You lie, you dog, you cad, you gutter-snipe, 
 you corner-boy in fact " 
 
 " Oh, I lie, do I you senile old goat. Well, listen to 
 this written from Hautcollis, and signed Amelia Fferroll ; 
 
 284
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 and to this ; and to this uncompleted letter of his to her, 
 and to these telegrams." 
 
 He read them. It was quite clear. Lant and Miss 
 Fferroll had arranged to meet at Knockalton Junction, 
 come to Dublin together, and take the evening boat to 
 Holyhead, and then go on to London and Paris. 
 
 The Captain began to foam. 
 
 " The scoundrel, the treacherous scoundrel ! And she's 
 double his age ! It's her money and my means of living. 
 And all this while he led me to think that, as you were so 
 hard to fleece satisfactorily, he was eloping with your 
 sister your co-heiress, he said ; and I was to keep you 
 here on some pretext or another " 
 
 "What!" John Cairney jumped up, livid with fury. 
 " What ! my sister ! My sweet, pure-hearted little Lally ! 
 And you two infernal scamps plotted that you as bad 
 as he, you whited sepulchre ! You keep me here with 
 this sham letter-writing, and this villainy in your dirty 
 mind and black heart all the time ! Take that, and that, 
 and this " 
 
 An inkstand narrowly missed the Captain's head and 
 crashed into a cabinet, a book smashed his hat, and then 
 John, having worked round the table, dashed his fist, once 
 and again, into his face, until the officer fell, fainting and 
 bloody, to the ground. 
 
 John Cairney was thoroughly sobered. He seemed to 
 step clean out, with a single stride, from the false atmo- 
 sphere in which he had existed during these past weeks, 
 into the healthy air of reality and truth. 
 
 Alert, collected, cool, and as if his father's character had 
 suddenly developed within him, he decided on his course. 
 
 " Let me see, now. Here's a time-table. We have yet 
 nearly two hours before us. Good." 
 
 He collected a number of papers of Lant's, which he 
 285
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 methodically placed in separate covers, and put into his 
 pockets. 
 
 Then he revived the Captain with some spirits, and 
 washed his face and tidied him up in Lant's bedroom. 
 
 " Look here, Captain," he said, and there was a decision 
 in his manner and a ring in his voice which compelled 
 respect, "you're a vile old scamp, and I have not done 
 with you yet. But there's no time, now. We have to 
 stop this runaway business " 
 
 " Oh, if you can, if you only can," groaned the humbled 
 Captain. 
 
 " Yes, I can, and will. But you must help." 
 
 " I ? Oh, command me, command me. I'll have his 
 blood " 
 
 "Well, never mind his blood just now. We'll save 
 her, and we'll punish him. Now, take a little of this, to 
 brace you up, for we must be off. We have time but 
 none to lose." 
 
 He made the Captain drink some brandy, helped him 
 downstairs, and drove with him to his solicitor, Mr 
 Mallor. 
 
 The Captain was in a condition of dazed misery. His 
 mind had, so to speak, to be fished up when wanted, after 
 which it sank again. 
 
 But Cairney was clear, energetic and resolute. 
 
 There was much writing, and driving about, and swear- 
 ing of affidavits, and seeing a Judge in Chambers, and 
 filing here, and registering there, and exhibiting every- 
 where, and fees and stamps and office copies ; but, at 
 length, everything was completed, and they made their 
 way to the railway station, with a good quarter of an hour 
 in hand. 
 
 They were not the only persons in waiting. 
 
 Mr Mailer's clerk came along with some papers, and 
 286
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 was ordered to remain, in case he be wanted. A quiet- 
 looking man touched his hat to Mr MalJor, who replied 
 with a nod. 
 
 "Sheriff's officer," he whispered to Cairney. "Those 
 two are his men. He has the warrant." 
 
 The Captain sat in a stupor a figure of intense and 
 helpless wretchedness, shame, and fury. 
 
 Mr Mallor had a quiet talk with the stationmaster, and 
 telegrams were also despatched down the line for the 
 locking of the doors of the carriage in which Mr Lant and 
 the old lady were travelling even in the improbable 
 event of their not being the sole occupants of the 
 compartment. 
 
 Tout passe , tout lasse, tout casse. There comes an end to 
 everything even to waiting for a cross-country Irish train. 
 
 It came in at last. Under one polite excuse or another, 
 or promise of immediate attention, or improvised explana- 
 tion, the door of Mr Lant's compartment was not unlocked 
 until the arriving passengers had cleared off the platform. 
 Then, with smiles and murmured apologies, the door was 
 opened, and Mr Lant descended and helped down Miss 
 Fferroll and her minor belongings. He was turning to 
 give some directions to a porter, when the mild-looking 
 man touched his arm and said something to him in 
 a low voice two burly men closing in noiselessly but 
 determinedly. 
 
 " What ! " shouted Mr Lant. 
 
 " Fugae warrant Mr John Cairney. All in perfect 
 order. Best come quietly," was the reply. 
 
 " John Cairney ! That blighted fool ? Dash and blister 
 the wretched little cad ! " 
 
 Here he caught sight of Cairney, who, with the solicitor, 
 had now advanced the Captain behind Mr Mallor's burly 
 figure. 
 
 287
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Ah, my dear Cairney, glad you've come. Here's a 
 mess by somebody; some forgotten old proceeding dug 
 up. Do put it right, Jack, old chap ; you can, you 
 know, by a single word. Your money's all right ; more 
 than ever now," and he glanced at the lady. 
 
 " Come, Amelia," said the Captain, trembling all over, 
 but resolved at white heat. "Come with me. This 
 a gentleman has a in fact, another engagement." 
 
 Mr Mallor whispered a few words to her, placed her 
 hand in his arm, and walked her into the stationmaster's 
 room, the Captain following with her dressing-case and 
 other things ; his clerk, as instructed, securing her 
 luggage and depositing it in the proper office. 
 
 "Mr Lant," answered Cairney, "these proceedings 
 are not the result of old and neglected ones, but new 
 ones started by me this afternoon. I have long suspected 
 you, but only to-day found you out." 
 
 " You infernal little cad " 
 
 " Ah, very likely. I believe that I have shown myself 
 a great lump of a cad not knowing better then. But 
 better an unthinking, ignorant, inexperienced cad than a 
 delibera&te knave a liar, schemer, parasite. Take him 
 away." 
 
 The Honble Fermough Lant was taken away, gnashing his 
 teeth and crying with vexation, rage and the disgrace of it. 
 
 Miss Fferroll did not, apparently, realise what had 
 happened, nor understand what was said to her. Her 
 serenity seemed unruffled, as if all that had happened 
 were ordinary incidents in a railway journey, or customary 
 preliminaries to a private wedding. 
 
 They could not continue to occupy the stationmaster's 
 room, so cabs were procured and they drove to Mr 
 Mallor's office that gentleman despatching a clerk to 
 request the attendance of Miss Fferroll's solicitor. 
 
 288
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 It was only then that the infatuated old lady seemed 
 to come to herself, and she flamed out first, at Fermy's 
 slanderers and accusers, and then at that deceiver, and 
 finally, at herself. It was as if she had awoke from a 
 dream. The fear of publicity took hold of her. 
 
 Cairney, dark and angry, would not discuss the question 
 of his claim. It was not a matter of money. 
 
 Besides, he had Miss Fferroll's guarantee in any 
 event. 
 
 She denied all knowledge of such a document, and 
 her solicitor threw doubt upon it, as his client never 
 signed anything " except love-letters " whispered Mr 
 Mallor without his knowledge and advice. 
 
 The paper was produced by Mr Mallor. It was 
 written on the Hautcollis house-paper. Miss Fferroll 
 and her solicitor denounced it a forgery which it plainly 
 was, on comparison with her signature on the letters 
 which Cairney had collected from Lant's portfolio, and 
 which constituted such good evidence in connection with 
 the application for the Fugae warrant. 
 
 The Captain concurred. He had never heard of any 
 such guarantee Lant having led him to believe that the 
 indulgence shown by the late Mr Cairney was merely a 
 matter of persuasion and payment. 
 
 As the Captain was a co-debtor, Miss Fferroll, with 
 the consent of her solicitor, gave Mr Mallor a cheque 
 for the entire amount, including the costs of the warrant 
 and arrest Mr Cairney making it a condition of the 
 settlement that he retain the forged document, so as to 
 ensure Lant's absence from Ireland and Miss Fferroll's 
 immunity from any correspondence or communication by 
 him. 
 
 " And and, what am I to do with these ?" asked she, 
 taking some jewel cases from her reticule, and putting 
 T 289
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 them on the table. " He gave them to me only 
 to-day." 
 
 She positively laughed now. 
 
 Cairney opened the cases ; then he took some papers 
 from his pocket, sorted out one, and said : 
 
 "Polling & Shee. I thought so. Here's their bill 
 for these identical things. Only, it's made out in my 
 name. It's a way he had. I found several of the same 
 sort to-day. Of course, I knew nothing of it, and in- 
 tended telling Polling & Shee." 
 
 " Ah, well, the things must be returned, and 
 there's an end of that. I shall see to that," said Mr 
 Mallor. 
 
 At last this sitting broke up : Miss Fferroll went off 
 with her solicitor and her brother; and Mr Mallor ac- 
 companied Cairney to his rooms. 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 BEFORE leaving his office Mr Mallor who was a hunting, 
 riding and driving man, and lived in a big house, although 
 his business premises were devoid of carpet and furnished 
 meanly with shabby and decrepid deal altered his appear- 
 ance a little. He put on leggings, and a felt hat, and 
 carried a heavy driving coat and whip. 
 
 He had heard Cairney's description of his plundering 
 and over-bearing valet, and his eye kindled in view of 
 the forthcoming interview with that pampered and 
 haughty personage. 
 
 They had to wait some little time before the door of 
 his chambers was opened. He rang yet again. 
 
 " Oh, all right, all right, confound you ! " said a 
 peevish voice from within. Then somebody seemed to 
 
 290
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 come along composedly, who yawned with much 
 deliberation, and finally opened the door. 
 
 " Oh, it's you," said the man, all but puffing the smoke 
 of a thick cigar into his employer's face. Then he winked 
 at Mr Mallor, to that gentleman's delight. 
 
 " Take your hand out of your pocket, you rascal : 
 and how dare you smoke in my presence ? " Mr Cairney 
 plucked the cigar from the man's mouth and threw it 
 into the grate, and pushed him into the sitting-room 
 amazed and impotent. 
 
 " Now, then, if you don't take that insolent look out 
 of your face I'll make broken china of it." He shook 
 him vigorously. 
 
 " Yes, sir," said the valet. 
 
 " Anybody called for me ? " 
 
 " Mr Lant, sir " 
 
 "When?" 
 
 "Shortly after you left, sir; this afternoon, sir." 
 
 "What did he want?" 
 
 " Don't know, sir. Looked for some papers 
 again " 
 
 " Again?" 
 
 " I I mean " 
 
 " Come, out with it and with everything. This 
 gentleman is my solicitor, Mr Mallor; and we have a 
 policeman below, to take note of your boxes when we 
 search them : perhaps, to take you." 
 
 The man fell into abject dread and on to his knees. 
 
 Then Mr Mallor a muscular giant stood over him, 
 lifted him and threw him, literally, into an arm-chair, 
 and told him that he could please himself whether he 
 told the whole truth now, or deferred it for the police 
 or assize court. 
 
 Between protestations and entreaties, tears, vows 
 291
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 and penitences, he made confession of much tangled 
 scoundrelism. 
 
 Apart from common place peculations, and mean 
 swindlings and spoilings in which he was merely the 
 agent and Mr Lant the real principal they learnt 
 several surprising things. 
 
 They looked at each other when the man described 
 the minute scrutiny to which every box, drawer or 
 other likely place had been subjected, in the search 
 for certain papers relating to the debt to Cairney. And 
 to the abstraction of some blank cheques and the 
 assiduous practice of his signature by the narrator 
 who had not yet attained proficiency. Also to the 
 elaborate scheme to get a large amount of money 
 from Mr Cairney to hush up a claim for a pretended 
 breach of promise to marry 
 
 " What's that ? " cried both Mr Mallor and his client 
 together. 
 
 " She was here this afternoon, and had a row with Mr 
 Lant. She's gone back on him, and wouldn't go on with 
 the manoeuvre. By the hokey ! " as the door-bell rang 
 loudly, " but that's her again, I believe." 
 
 "Stay you here," said Cairney. "I'll go. Mr Mallor, 
 don't let him move, please," 
 
 " Let him ! " chuckled Mr Mallor. " No not even if 
 he vapourises himself on the spot." 
 
 A tall, dark-eyed, handsome girl came into the 
 room. 
 
 She started when she saw the solicitor, and still more 
 when her eyes fell on the valet, at sight of whom she 
 laughed a scornful little laugh. 
 
 "Perhaps, it's just as well," she said, and then she 
 proceeded excitedly : 
 
 "Oh, can you not see, sir, what's going on all around 
 292
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 you the plots and schemes to humbug and deceive and 
 rob you ? How they fawn and flatter and, when your 
 back's turned, laugh and jeer at you ? And have you no 
 friends to look after you and shelter you from the wolves 
 and foxes and sharks ? " 
 
 She quieted down a little, and went on : 
 
 " I must speak for they tried to get me to join them 
 in a conspiracy to make money out of you. When they 
 first spoke to me I thought it a joke and laughed : but 
 oh ! I see the black villainy of it now, and I must tell you. 
 He said I should have five hundred pounds out of it but 
 I would scorn the dirty money, and hate myself if I 
 touched it." 
 
 Mr Mallor complimented her on her honourable heart 
 and courage after taking a note of her statements. 
 Then, observing the valet's misery and the girl's disdain, 
 he asked : 
 
 " You know him ? " 
 
 "I I did once, sir," replied she, with a charming 
 toss of the head. 
 
 " We were to get married next October," said the man 
 feebly. "But but things happened. If it hadn't been 
 that I gave the master the loan of my savings nigh on 
 
 two hundred pounds " 
 
 "The master! What do you mean? asked the 
 lawyer. 
 
 "I mean, the Honourable Mr Lant " 
 
 " But you said ' the Master.'" 
 
 " Yes, sir, he's my master. I've only been lent to Mr 
 Cairney, but he didn't know that, of course." 
 
 " Ah ! I see. Go on." 
 
 " I was his servant when he was in the Army, and 
 when he left it he bought me out, and I've been with him 
 ever since." 
 
 293
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " But your affection for him and fidelity to him don't 
 justify your being dishonest." 
 
 "No, sir, but he told me that it was only some of his 
 own money that he was trying to get back that Mr 
 Cairney and his father had got all they had out of him, 
 by all sorts of lawyer tricks, and that it was quite right to 
 try and get some back for it was all his own, after all 
 by any contrivance or manner of means possible." 
 
 " H'm ! That was the line of argument, was it ? " said 
 Mr Mallor. " Now, take this from me not that it 
 matters a rush, but it may stir up your conscience, which 
 evidently likes to be soothed easily. Mr Lant had only 
 one transaction with the Cairneys, and that has been paid 
 by his fellow debtor, so that he never parted with a single 
 penny piece, in money or in money's worth, to Mr Cairney. 
 Now that that ghost's laid, drive on." 
 
 " But I didn't know that, sir. I believed Mr Lant, and 
 I wanted to get my own money back " 
 
 "Which now you never will, my man from Lant. 
 He's in prison at this moment, and you " 
 
 " Oh don't, sir, don't for God's sake " 
 
 " What's this ? " said the young lady in a deepened 
 voice, starting to her feet. 
 
 Disregarding her, Mr Mallor asked : 
 
 " But why, in addition to deception and robbery, why 
 did you treat Mr Cairney, whose bread you were eating, 
 with such insolence ? " 
 
 "Well, sir, you see, he's not he's not one of us, you 
 know." 
 
 " Oh, that's it, is it ? And I suppose that I am the 
 same eh ? " 
 
 "Well, of course, you may be all right enough in your 
 way, as an attorney, but but " 
 
 " But I'm not one of you " 
 
 294
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 " I mean, Mr Lant's set officers and such like." 
 
 " That's quite clear, quite clear, and perfectly satis- 
 factory. Now please don't go, Miss, not just yet are 
 you prepared to make a clean breast of your own dealings 
 while in Mr Cairney's service, or shall we overhaul your 
 things and accounts ? " 
 
 " What shall I do what shall I do ? " asked he, piteously 
 addressing her, and wringing his hands. 
 
 "It's nothing to me what you do. All is over between 
 us," she replied ; and then she sobbed. 
 
 " He can't marry you now in October I fear," unfeelingly 
 remarked Mr Mallor. 
 
 She sprang to her feet, and her eyes flashed. 
 
 " If you think it's because he's lost his money, by lend- 
 ing it to that young fiend Lant, you're mistaken, sir. If 
 he's short in his accounts, you can have my savings 
 nearly 90. But I will have nothing more to do with 
 him. Though it's a mighty big fool he is, and easily led, 
 rather than a blagyard or a villain." 
 
 Then she covered her face, as if she could so hide her 
 heart-broken tears. 
 
 Suddenly she threw up her head. 
 
 "Ted," she cried imperiously, "show everything, tell 
 everything, keep nothing back: Have it out, for better or 
 worse, if there's anything you've done, or taken, or kept 
 back. Never look me in the face again if you hide a 
 thing." 
 
 " You're a brave girl," said Mr Mallor admiringly. 
 "Now, you just step into Mr Cairney's room and lie 
 down a bit. We'll call you when we want you. You 
 had better do as I tell you," he added in a whisper, as he 
 opened the door for her : and she obeyed. 
 
 A half hour passed, and then she was recalled to the 
 sitting-room. 
 
 295
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Mr Mallor and Mr Cairney were very grave, and the 
 valet very mean, contrite, and unhappy. 
 
 " Things are even worse than we suspected," said the 
 solicitor. " He's made restitution of some small portion : 
 the rest, if his word is to be taken, is beyond his power, 
 for he has handed to Mr Lant money and even cheques 
 which he received for the payment of accounts ; he has 
 suppressed invoices and bills, because he sent the things 
 to Lant, Mr Cairney not knowing anything about them : 
 and other dodges too numerous to set out." 
 
 " Oh," moaned the poor girl, rocking herself in sheer 
 misery. 
 
 Cairney had said very little. Now he stood up. 
 
 " Listen to me, both of you." They looked up with 
 a start. 
 
 " You stand here to-day shamed and stripped without 
 a penny in the world ; and even if this young lady's noble 
 offer of her hard-earned savings were added to what you 
 have paid over, it would still leave you a lot to the bad. 
 
 " And what character have you ? What character have 
 you not ? 
 
 " Yet I can't help thinking a man can't be utterly 
 bad if he has the love of a true woman. 
 
 " And she is one and a million times too good for you. 
 
 " And a man can't be utterly beyond hope, if he has a 
 feeling of faithfulness for an old master though it may 
 take a twist to the bad. 
 
 " Now, your feeling for Lant was quite misplaced. 
 
 "He was vile enough to take and spend your poor 
 savings, that you were going to get married on. 
 
 "He was training you to forgery he to have all the 
 benefit, and you all the terrible risk. 
 
 " He put you up to the larcenies and embezzlements of 
 moneys, accounts, and goods, and what not. 
 
 296
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 " And he deceived you grossly by playing on your 
 feelings and sense of right and wrong, by telling you that 
 he had lost his money to us when the very colour of it 
 had never been seen by us. 
 
 " And then the infamy of wanting to involve this pretty 
 and high-principled young lady in a conspiracy to extort 
 money from me and all that that implies ! " 
 
 " Oh don't, sir. Have pity, have pity ! " and she threw 
 herself, crying, at his feet. 
 
 He raised her gently, kissed her brow, and led her to 
 a seat. 
 
 " Shall I forgive him ?" he asked her, with a smile. 
 
 She raised large luminous eyes to his. 
 
 "Will you forgive him if I do?" asked he again. 
 
 " Oh, sir, oh, sir " 
 
 " Well then, take him away, and rule him with a rod 
 of iron. And here's a little prescription " 
 
 He wrote something on a slip of paper. 
 
 " Here's a cheque for 200 to you, not to him. 
 Mark, it is yours, only. Look after him : and send me 
 a bit of the wedding cake in October, or earlier." 
 
 Mr Cairney packed a small portmanteau, locked up his 
 chambers and gave the key to Mallor, sold him his riding 
 horse which they examined on the way to the station 
 and took the train to Ballynoggin. 
 
 For a week he had been carrying in his pocket, 
 unopened, a letter of Lally's. He had not had the pluck to 
 open it for he feared or felt that she would say something 
 about Cecily. 
 
 He was quite conscious of the moral cowardice, but, as 
 usual, the task became daily more repugnant. 
 
 He now made a sort of desperate plunge at its contents. 
 297
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 Lally informed him that she and Tom had arranged to 
 get married in the course of the ensuing month. 
 
 " And neither of them knows that she has a penny," 
 reflected he. Then came a quick pang because there was 
 no mention of Cecily, although it was he, himself, who 
 had laid that restraint on Lally. 
 
 " Tom is a noble fellow," said Cairney to himself " a 
 fine, genuine, disinterested fellow ; and I'm a miserable, 
 pinch-beck, veneered, twopenny cad. It's quite right what 
 they all called me. And Lally, bless her ! is a buxom, 
 true-hearted little angel. But oh, Cecily, my darling, 
 my darling always coming back to my thoughts and 
 dreams, though I like a fool, an impious fool was 
 always trying to chase you away what shall I say to 
 you what can I say to you ? Oh, how slow this train 
 is ! Will it never get there ? " 
 
 It was past nine when he arrived at Ballynoggin, and 
 he reached Ivy Cottage without observation or incident. 
 
 His own house, No. I, was dark. He let himself in, 
 changed into some of his former clothes, and then made 
 his way quietly, by the garden, to the back of No. 2. 
 
 He peeped into the kitchen. Mrs Dermott was alone, 
 occupied in laying the simple supper of bread and cheese 
 and some salad. 
 
 He opened the door gently, placed his finger on his 
 lips, and approached her on tip-toe. 
 
 Her alarm soon gave way to smiles. She whispered 
 back to him that Cecily was upstairs. She had declined 
 to accompany Tom and Lally who had gone to a lecture, 
 and she was now sitting in the dark in the parlour 
 poor girl ! 
 
 Cairney stole up the stairs : the parlour door was open, 
 and he stood an instant, still, irresolute, with beating 
 heart. 
 
 298
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 " Who is it ? John ? " cried a girl's voice from the dark 
 room. Below, the old mother clasped her hands, as tears 
 of thankfulness flowed down her wrinkled face. 
 
 "Now, mother," cried John, as he and Cecily burst into 
 the kitchen, " Cis and I are going foraging for supper. 
 We shan't be long." 
 
 They went out laughing like a couple of school 
 children, and they soon returned with a loin of pork cut 
 into chops, a yard of sausages, and a couple of lads bear- 
 ing baskets of bottles of wine, stout, ale, spirits, pickles, 
 preserved fruits, white sugar, lemons, and other things, 
 whilst a baker's boy brought a supply of loaves and 
 formidable confectionary. 
 
 "Now, all hands help," cried John, taking ofF his 
 coat and rolling up his shirt-sleeves. " I'll be cook. 
 Cis, you see to the table. Mother now, just you sit in 
 your chair quite quiet, with this glass in your hand ; and 
 we'll consult you when we get into difficulties. What do 
 fry pork chops in, mother ? " 
 
 There was much movement not unmixed with con- 
 fusion, many mistakes which amused them greatly, 
 delicious but declamatory odours, and a good deal of 
 noise and clatter. 
 
 In the midst of it all, and just as Cecily was shrieking 
 with laughter at some bungle or other of John's, Tom 
 and Lally arrived. 
 
 They took in the situation at a glance. John kissed 
 Lally, and gripped Tom's hand hard. 
 
 " Some day I'll explain, Tom," said he. 
 
 There never was a merrier, or truly happier supper 
 party. After the pork chops and Dublin stout, the 
 ladies had preserves and fancy biscuits and port wine : 
 and the gentlemen brewed themselves some punch and 
 smoked cigars, and made speeches which called forth 
 
 299
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 much cheering, some delightful crying, and the kissing 
 of all the ladies several times over. 
 
 When they quieted down they did so when John held 
 up his hand and told them that he had something serious 
 to say he gravely addressed the company : 
 
 "Lally and Tom. Of course, I knew it was bound to 
 be, and I'm mighty and especially glad that it has come 
 now. Why ? Well, I'll tell you. There's some money 
 and property coming to Lally, but I was forbidden to say 
 anything of it for three months. And it's all the finer 
 that it was in ignorance of it, that you two have arranged 
 to marry. But that's not all, Tom, my boy." 
 
 He relit his cigar and went on : 
 
 " Not all, Tom. You and I are going to be brothers 
 indeed, for Cis and I will get married at the same time." 
 
 Here all the ladies rose and successively kissed all the 
 gentlemen. 
 
 "Well now, it's going to be this way, Tom, my boy. 
 There will be $ooo settled on each of our wives the day 
 before we marry. Then there will be $ooo for you, and 
 ;5 OO for me, and we'll go into partnership with it as 
 Auctioneers and Land Agents perhaps, we'll buy out old 
 Grogan, or pension him off. That was an idea of my poor 
 dear father. No don't interrupt, as he used to say. 
 That's quite apart from what Lally gets on her own 
 account, and Cis shall have as much, each to do what 
 she likes with. Invest it, and make the interest a dress 
 fund, I should think ; but I don't care." 
 
 There was much surprise and gratitude and rejoicing. 
 
 " Now, that will leave me with a certain loose balance 
 we'll round it at a clear ten thousand though it's well 
 over that and this is what I think about doing with 
 that. This is a sort of family council, you know, and 
 nobody must blab. 
 
 3
 
 That Little Cad 
 
 "Well then, this ^"10,000 is going to be given to 
 build the Cairney Wing to the Hospital, or the Cairney 
 Ward. And nobody's ever to know but what my dear 
 misunderstood father left the money for that very purpose. 
 Mind, we all stick to that. Here's hands on it. Tom and 
 I are going to work with our heads, and hands, and our 
 capital : we are not going to fool about setting up as squires 
 or imitators, or as snobs, or as cads ; but solid, respectable 
 family men, ha ! ha j And if we do well, I'll set up a 
 little boat to sail about the bay and creeks, and Tom, I 
 know, will go in for gardening." 
 
 The firm of Grogan, Cairney & Dermott, is as re- 
 spected as it is successful. 
 
 Tom lives in Ivy House the two cottages having been 
 thrown into one, and almost rebuilt, a neighbouring potato 
 store and yards bought up and added to the grounds, 
 which, with the former wharf, have been converted into 
 a pretty garden, with summer-house and conservatories, 
 trees overhanging the river, terraces, boat-house, etc. j 
 all very picturesque and pleasant. 
 
 Many of the inhabitants of Ballynoggin, who never had 
 a good word for the late Mr Cairney, spoke of him with 
 deep respect ; and they shook their heads when they hinted 
 that the son was never likely to so do generous a thing 
 as give 10,000 to the Hospital not he. 
 
 " Faith ! And if it had been left to him it's not the 
 shadow of the sound of as many pence that the stones of 
 the Hospital would ever have heard," they said. 
 
 The expression is clouded, but the meaning is clear. 
 
 John heard it and laughed. 
 
 Some years passed. 
 
 The Cairney and Dermott households were increasing 
 301
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 almost to the point when families begin to become clans. 
 The truth about the Hospital gift came out, and John was 
 highly praised more for his modesty than even for his 
 munificence and he was put in the Commission of the 
 Peace. 
 
 The Captain was dead. Miss Fferroll transferred his 
 allowance, through her solicitor, to the Honble Fermough 
 Lant, on the sole condition that he never returned to 
 Ireland. 
 
 Mr Mallor has taken the ex- valet into his service. He 
 makes a good process-server, clerk, and in an irregular sort 
 of way practicable in Ireland only, where incongruities 
 appear logical and logic runs to nonsense or violence, at 
 times personal servant, deputy butler, and other things. 
 His wife has a small and prosperous millinery business. 
 
 " Ah ! " says John, as he regards his five sturdy boys, 
 " my poor dear father was wise and right. Make your 
 sons gentlemen, said he ; back them with your money, and 
 send them to college. Yes, that's it : and it's something 
 to work for. They shall be gentlemen, please God ! 
 educated, high-minded, well-mannered men. I cannot 
 forget that I was once in danger of remaining ah ! the 
 mere recollection of it makes my face burn, even now a 
 wretched Little Cad." 
 
 302
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 THE Second Battalion of the Third Riding Prince 
 Frederick's Own Loyal Royal Yorkshire Bayoneteers 
 known in that County and in the Service as the " Tha- 
 Knaws " was stationed at Ballynoggin. 
 
 It was a distinguished Regiment, and proud in the fact 
 that it was composed of genuine "tykes" with the 
 exception of those who were Irish. It was a singular 
 circumstance that the majority of the officers of the 
 Second Battalion were also Irish. 
 
 " Yes, dash it ! " growled Major Murphison Old 
 Murphy, as he was called by the soldiers amongst them- 
 selves "We're a workhouse combined with an infant- 
 school, bedad ! " He alluded to the comparative poverty 
 of the older officers and to the youthfulness of the subal- 
 terns. With the exception of the Chaplain they were, 
 to a man, either widowers or bachelors, and sincerely 
 addicted to sport. This last weakness ran right through 
 the Battalion, every male in which down to the slimmest 
 bugler or plumpest drummer knew all about every race- 
 horse, jockey, and meeting in the three kingdoms. Foot- 
 ball, cricket, pugilism, and other arts and pastimes were 
 minor idols ; horsiness was the supreme cult. 
 
 It was, therefore, an especially exciting event that young 
 Montfarren O'Greaves, the new Assistant-Surgeon, should 
 have drawn the Favourite in the Great Goodwood Sweep 
 10,000 guineas for an outlay of only 2ls. ! Barring the 
 unforeseen, it was undoubtedly considered that that sub- 
 stantial sum was as good as if it were already in his sieve-
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 like pocket. O'Greaves himself did not know very much 
 of such matters ; in fact, he thought it a joke rather than 
 a conspicuous piece of good fortune. He was a laughing, 
 blundering, sentimental fellow too careless even to hope 
 steadily. 
 
 " Bad luck to the bad luck of it ! " said Major Mur- 
 phison, who had, of course, drawn a blank. "Here's a 
 smooth-faced bhoy a mere sucking neophyte and he gets 
 the Favourite right away ! His very first go in racing, too, 
 and had to be persuaded to put down his guinea ! And 
 here am I, grown grey and desperate at it ; and I want the 
 money, too, bedad ! Oh, dhivil fly away with the want of 
 sinse and dacency of it all ! " 
 
 Mr O'Greaves, as usual in such cases, received numerous 
 offers by post and telegraph for his chance, but he refused 
 them all even the Regimental pool or syndicate which 
 was suggested for the purpose of buying it. 
 
 He would give no reason only laughed and blushed ; 
 and the Major cursed him by six or seven Irish saints 
 and over two dozen Hindoo gods, besides a number of 
 miscellaneous infernalities. 
 
 " Me bhoy," said he to him, confidentially, in his own 
 room, " it's meself is glad to see that it's an ould hid ye've 
 got on your shoulders. You did well, sorr very well, 
 not to share your luck with a parcel of fellows that 
 scarcely look the way you're going at any other time. 
 And I'll go bail that dhivil a one of them ever asked you 
 if you'd had a mouth on you before this. See to that, 
 now. They look down on the medical profession dash 
 their consait ! But I've always stood up for them, and 
 always shall, begorra ! " 
 
 O'Greaves said he was very greatly obliged. 
 
 "Not a bit, my son and it's a fatherly interest I've 
 taken in you, my lad, from the day you joined us as 
 
 34
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 indade, I ought to do, being, in a kind of way, in loco 
 parentis, regimentally spaking. Besides, as I was saying, 
 being a blood relation " 
 
 " Oh, I didn't know that, Major ! " interposed 
 O'Greaves. 
 
 "What! Not know that the Murphisons and the 
 O'Greaves are related as thick as eels in a mill-pond ! 
 Do you mane that sariously, now ? Ha ! I haven't 
 wurrds to express my surprise. Oh, the shallowness of 
 modern education, and the crim'nel neglect of what's 
 thruly worth learning, of this hollow and flashy gener- 
 ation ! Yes, me bhoy j and the Montfarrens as well. 
 I'll tell you all about it another time. Now, listen while 
 I spake to you. I'll stand by you, and in with you, in 
 this matter. It's a duty I owe you under the circum- 
 stances, for you are young and inexperienced. Do you 
 think that I'm the man to sit still and see you fling your 
 luck away on schaming and unsympathising strangers, 
 who'd only laugh at your greenness behind your back 
 when your face was turned ? No, no. It's my duty, 
 I tell you ; and I'm not going to desert it, or desert you 
 is it likely, now ? " 
 
 The Major glared around fiercely, as if awaiting a 
 challenge ; then he replenished the glasses, and lowered 
 his voice. 
 
 "This is what we'll do. We'll hedge hedge. Do 
 you see ? Make sure of the big half of it, whatever 
 happens. That's it. Here now, I'll just write a telegram 
 for the joint account. You needn't throuble at all, me 
 bhoy it's all arranged. Not a whisper to a sowl, now. 
 I'll see you through this business, never fear. You have 
 my wurrd Major Murphison's wurrd and never a 
 Murphison, or an O'Greaves, was a thraitor to that. So 
 that's all settled now." 
 
 u 305
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 O'Greaves would, beyond a doubt, have been helplessly 
 enmeshed, and rushed off his balance, had it remained in 
 his power to deal with the matter in hand. As it was, he 
 could only stammer out that nothing would have given 
 him greater pleasure, and he was truly grateful but it 
 was too late. 
 
 The Major felt furious, and would have broken loose, 
 but for the shy and half-ashamed look on the young 
 fellow's face. He at once suspected that somebody else 
 had already taken the trick. That nefarious conspirator 
 who had anticipated him must be discovered and upset. 
 
 A little bantering pressure, and a few glasses more, 
 produced O'Greaves' confession that he had given the 
 chance to Miss Geraldine Byrne in payment of some 
 trifling flirtation wager. 
 
 The Major's face grew more deeply purple, as he 
 gnawed at the ends of his wiry red moustache, whilst his 
 eyes took on an introspective studiousness. He knew the 
 Byrnes Mrs Byrne, widow of a Madras Colonel, and her 
 daughters very well. 
 
 When, however, he heard further that Miss Geraldine 
 being inexperienced, generous, and, like all girls, short 
 and chary of pocket-money had given the chance to her 
 mother, in lieu of her contribution to some local charity 
 for poor women in which she was interested, his brow 
 cleared as if by magic. He promptly resumed his habitual 
 tone and manner, and very abruptly, as O'Greaves 
 thought dismissed that young gentleman to his duties. 
 
 Within an hour the Major had proposed to Mrs Byrne 
 and been accepted by her, and had laid against the 
 Favourite to the extent of ^5000, double-locking both 
 secrets in his impenetrable bosom. 
 
 " Make sure of $ooo, anyway," he soliloquised, 
 " besides a cosy home, a tidy income of her own, and a 
 
 306
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 deuced fine woman of forty-four, who doesn't look a day 
 oulder than a good many years under that ; thanks to that 
 young fool, who may go to the dhivil now, for all I care. 
 Blood relations, indade ! Ha, ha ! " 
 
 The young fool meantime reflected in this wise : 
 
 " Hedge. That's what he said hedge. Now, if that 
 means anything at all, it must mean this : back some other 
 horse against the Favourite. That's it, of course. But 
 which ? I don't like asking the fellows I should, perhaps, 
 be dragged into talking of Geraldine to them. I'm sorry 
 I did to the Major; but he's a blood relation so he says. 
 I don't understand these things ; he was right enough 
 there. I'm not very bright, at best ; in fact, if I have a 
 thought in my head, it's unbeknown to myself. Let me 
 see, now." 
 
 He referred to a newspaper and read the latest 
 betting. 
 
 " Here's my plan," he resumed to himself. " Here's 
 Flybiter, the Favourite, at the top of the list, at 5 to I ; 
 and here's Nephew to Kreutzer, at the other end of it, at 
 200 to I. That is, I take it, that the one will win and 
 the other won't. Ah ! it's not so difficult as I imagined ; 
 indeed, it's as easy as drinking. What an artful old card 
 the Major is to pretend that I wanted guiding and instruct- 
 ing ! I know all about hedging now just as if this were 
 my fiftieth operation on the Turf, instead of my first. 
 I've simply got to back the horse at the very bottom of 
 the list." 
 
 So he went to the telegraph-office and backed the 
 Nephew for $o. 
 
 " There," he said, when he wrote confirming his 
 telegram, " that's not only the mathematics of betting, but 
 it's the logic as well. If Geraldine's horse I mean her 
 mother's wins, she gets ten thousand guineas ; if not, 
 
 307
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 mine wins, and I get just as many pounds. How very 
 simple it is, after all ! " 
 
 The Major had, naturally, said nothing to Mrs Byrne 
 about Goodwood ; so he remained unaware that she had 
 put a guinea of her own into the charity and given the 
 chance to her eldest daughter, Miranda. 
 
 Later in the day Captain M'Terrup dropped in. He 
 had a sedate but well-restrained liking for Miss Byrne. 
 His allusion to O'Greaves' singular good fortune in draw- 
 ing the Favourite naturally led to Mrs Byrne's lightly 
 remarking, with a smile proportioned to the insignifi- 
 cance of the subject, that the chance had been transmitted 
 to Miranda. 
 
 The Captain immediately grew very grave, an expression 
 of countenance which was succeeded by one betokening a 
 severe internal struggle, and that, in turn, gave way to an 
 air of desperate resoluteness. He found, or made, an 
 opportunity to whisper something to Miss Byrne, and the 
 pair sauntered together into the garden. 
 
 She re-entered the house soon afterwards, radiant with 
 happiness, for he had asked her to be his wife, and she 
 had consented. 
 
 He made his rapid way to the telegraph office, and laid 
 against the Favourite, " Half certain is better than the whole 
 merely possible" muttered he, as he assumed a bearing of 
 utter indifference, and determined to breathe never a word 
 about his engagement or bet to mortal creature. 
 
 Miss Byrne was as shrewd as she was beautiful, and 
 as quick-tempered as she was both. She remembered 
 the Captain's serious and almost solemn look when the 
 Favourite was irreverently mentioned, and she reflected 
 with a pang that she had probably been indiscreet in 
 giving the chance to Fanny, her one-third of a maid, in 
 settlement of some accumulated items and matters. 
 
 308
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 When, therefore, Sergeant Ostlethorpe a handsome, 
 dashing young fellow of respectable family, who had 
 been a lawyer's clerk before he got into trouble found 
 Fanny in tears that evening, he soon elicited that it was 
 all because of Miss Byrne's dreadful goings-on about 
 that chance which she had given her, and now most 
 unreasonably, and even violently, wanted her to restore. 
 
 "You didn't give it back, did you, Fan?" anxiously 
 asked the Sergeant, as his gold-lace chevrons stole round 
 her yielding waist. 
 
 " No, John," she said, " that I didn't ; for even if 
 I " 
 
 He arrested her further reply by the abrupt adminis- 
 tration of a volley of unwontedly fervent kisses ; and 
 she, not without some alacrity, promised to be Mrs 
 Ostlethorpe so soon as her quarter was up, or sooner. 
 
 He hurried away under the pretence of duty, but, in 
 reality, to be in time to telegraph to a bookmaker whom 
 he knew to lay against the Favourite to the utmost extent 
 of his means or credit. 
 
 " A cool thou is better than nothing, and will buy a 
 decent public-house," he cogitated, " if Flybiter loses. 
 If he wins, I shan't grudge the stakes. But I'll say 
 nought to anybody." 
 
 When Fanny came to review the striking event which 
 had so precipitately happened, she could not help thinking 
 of the preposterous intrusion into the proceedings of so 
 trumpery and incongruous a thing as a mere race-horse. 
 She laughed to herself, as who would not ? 
 
 " And to think," said she, after she had disposed of her 
 young ladies, " that after all, I gave that chance away to 
 Bessie for that unmade silk dress she's had so long ! And 
 a good bargain, too." 
 
 Next morning an officer's servant observed to some of 
 
 39
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 his fellows that there must be something wrong with the 
 Favourite, for he had had a chat with the telegraph clerk, 
 who informed him that several officers, including the 
 Major, had wired to lay heavily against him. 
 
 This intelligence ran like wild-fire through the Battalion, 
 and was quickly carried to the officers' quarters, by the 
 usual barrack channels. A shoal of telegrams, begotten of 
 doubt in Flybiter, was the result. 
 
 " It's a sure thing, tha knaws, th' favourite's not gaun 
 to win," passed from mouth to mouth ; and, so soon as 
 parade was over, there was a wild rush to the local book- 
 makers, and to the Post Office with letters containing 
 money orders. 
 
 The Doctor had quite a scene with the Major for not 
 giving him the tip. The Major protested that he knew 
 nothing, and that it was a mere " hedge." The Doctor 
 treated that explanation with derision, and went and laid 
 substantially against the Favourite. Being a good, though 
 highly irascible fellow, and attached in his way to the 
 Chaplain and his large family, he put a little on for 
 him. 
 
 " If it comes right, a thousand will be very handy for 
 him, I know. If not why, let it go with the rest, for it 
 will about finish me." 
 
 The subject was the all-engrossing one at mess ; and 
 the shout of laughter which rolled into the night when 
 O'Greaves diffidently admitted that he had backed Nephew 
 to Kreutzer to win, startled the thirstiest noses out of 
 their tankards in the canteen. 
 
 There was one man he must have been the only one 
 in the Battalion of whom it could be said who had not 
 made a bet one way or the other. This was Ted Daly, 
 the Major's servant. 
 
 " Botheration ! " said he, " and it's just my luck, sorr. 
 310
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 I shtood to win a hape of money on that same animal, bad 
 cess to't ! saving your honour's presence." 
 
 "What's that ?" asked the Major, sharply. 
 
 Daly recounted that Bessie, Mrs Byrne's cook, had 
 presented him with the chance, which she had received 
 from Fanny, who got it from one of the young ladies. 
 
 He had never witnessed such an access of fury, poly- 
 glot swearing, tramplings, smashings, tearings, Ringings, 
 and other demonstrations of demoniacal possession as 
 suddenly assailed the Major. It was only when, 
 thoroughly frightened, he started screaming for a saint 
 or two, and some secular help, that his master began 
 to pull himself together a little. 
 
 " It's all right, Daly a bit reminder of a sunstroke I 
 once had in the East. Violent sunshine sometimes brings 
 it back, but it doesn't last, as you see." 
 
 " Glory be to God ! " said Daly, implicitly. It was 
 raining hard just then, but he never doubted the 
 explanation. 
 
 "Don't dare to say a wurrd of this, mind. I'll take a 
 pill, and that will put me all right." 
 
 " Yes, sorr," said Daly. 
 
 " Ha ! h'm ! Just so. By the way, what was that you 
 were saying about the Favourite ? " asked the Major, with 
 a yawn. 
 
 Daly repeated his story, and lamented his ill-luck. 
 
 "Does any one know that you have that horse ?" 
 
 "Dhivil a sowl, sorr, except Bessie, and she has neither 
 rading, knowledge, nor mim'ry, no more than a hin, 
 sorr." 
 
 " H'm ! Opinion seems to be dead against his 
 winning." 
 
 " It is that same, sorr, begorra ! Why couldn't they 
 lave him alone ? " 
 
 3 11
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " Look here, Daly, didn't you tell me that you belonged 
 to these parts ? " 
 
 " I did, sorr." 
 
 "Ah, so I thought," mused the Major. "Pity, and 
 hard lines on you, too, my man, to have to march away 
 and to turn your back on your own country and your own 
 people, and, what's her name Bessie. Dashed hard ! I 
 should say." He seemed to be talking to himself, as he 
 repeated, " Dashed hard ! " 
 
 Daly had never had presented to him such a vivid 
 picture of his hitherto-unfelt trials. He was, therefore, 
 deeply affected by the sense of his unhappy lot, which came 
 upon him suddenly and on the authority of so great an 
 officer as the Major ; and he put the end of a dirty fore- 
 finger into the corner of his eye, where there was an un- 
 expected tear. 
 
 "Ah!" remarked the Major gently, "Sorry I spoke. 
 Never mind, my good fellow. Your time will expire 
 when does it expire ? " 
 
 "Three mortial long years from now, sorr," sighed 
 Daly. 
 
 " Oh, bother it ! that's bad, bad. And you in your 
 own part of the country, and the next station, perhaps, 
 Ceylon or the Cape ; and Bessie married to somebody 
 else before you come back. Such is a soldier's life, dhivil 
 take it ! " 
 
 After a distressful pause he brought his fist down on 
 the table and said : 
 
 " Look here now, Daly. You've been a good soldier 
 and a good servant, and maybe I'll be after settling down 
 in time hereabouts, myself. Thank God ! I'm an Irishman, 
 too. Yes, and I'm proud of it, Daly, my man. You shall 
 have your discharge." 
 
 " Lord in hiv'n bless your honner ! " gasped Daly. 
 312
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 " Yes, to-day, this very day ; and a ten-pun note, 
 besides." 
 
 Daly dropped on his knees and poured out a torrent of 
 pathetically eloquent gratitude. 
 
 " There, there, that will do. And you can marry 
 Bessie, eh ? And a by-the-way, you will give me that 
 thing about the horse of your own free will, of course. 
 I wouldn't touch it else with the end of a flagstaff no, 
 not if you prayed yourself black in the face for me to take 
 it otherwise. Mind that, now." 
 
 " Yes, sorr, an' willing, wid all the heart of me, God 
 knows, sorr," answered Daly earnestly. 
 
 " I'll have your papers made out at once, before my 
 mind changes. You needn't go back to quarters. You 
 can rummage for some civilian coats and things that I've 
 about done with, and take them. And and, I won't be 
 afther doing things by halves, nor yet by quarters either, 
 bedad ! If that miserable and discredited horse does 
 happen to win, though I don't believe a wurrd about him, 
 or the contrary, I'll make Bessie a present of another ten- 
 pun note. The chance only cost a beggarly starved 
 guinea to begin with, and it may be dear at the odd 
 shilling when ail's said and done." 
 
 " Yes, sorr, indade it might," said Daly. 
 
 " Very well. That's settled. Now, remember, not a 
 wurrd to anyone not even to Bessie about this till I 
 give you lave. If you as much as make a sign of it in 
 your slape, I'll go back on all I've promised, and make it 
 dashed uncomfortable for you, besides. Mark that, now." 
 A fierce look drove home the last expression. 
 
 " Never fear, sorr," smiled Daly ; and then a touch of 
 native shrewdness and gentlemanliness imparted a comical 
 yet touching dignity to his voice and bearing as he 
 added :
 
 The Book of Ballynoggin 
 
 " I wouldn't be afther doing a thing, sorr, as others 
 might take in a wrong light, or lay up agin your honner, 
 not if if I was to be hanged for it. Nor, if that horse 
 should happen to win, and if it was twenty times as much 
 gowld on his hid that you'd be getting, would I grudge a 
 grudge, or have a ha'porth of grief or sorra the sorry that 
 I'd asked your honner's acceptance of it. It's glad I'd be, 
 and proud maybe gladder than you, sorr. An' I shall 
 be a civilian when I hand it over to you though, it's on 
 the mantle-shelf now I put it, for safety, inside your 
 cigar-case ; and thanks to your kindness to a poor 
 counthryman. And, begorra ! it's through fire and water 
 I'd go for your honner, let alone a discrate silence, sorr, 
 that costs nothing, except the not spaking, bedad ! " 
 
 Major Murphison heard this passionate address with 
 mingled feelings. 
 
 " Dash it all ! " he said to himself, " he's more of a 
 gentleman than I am. But what was I to do ? " 
 
 On the momentous day the barracks were in a ferment. 
 Never did the Tha-Knaws so scamp their dinner or feel 
 so intense an excitement as the hour approached for the 
 result of the race to be known. 
 
 They formed a chain of men from the telegraph-office 
 to the barracks. 
 
 The whole town seemed to be given up to the soldiers, 
 who, however, were too intent on the expected intelli- 
 gence to have eyes or ears for anything else ; and their 
 throats seemed to get the drier for drinking. 
 
 At length the news came, and produced the wildest 
 elation. The favourite was beaten ! 
 
 Ballynoggin had never before heard such cheering as 
 was that afternoon re-echoed by the hills behind the 
 town. 
 Montfarren O'Greaves was acclaimed the greatest and 
 
 3H
 
 The Great Sweepstake 
 
 most practical hero in the annals of the Tha-Knaws. He 
 was the primary cause of all the luck. What is the 
 gallantry of a fellow who lets out the blood compared to 
 the canniness of him who lets in the money ? 
 
 Then the Battalion which, in the sweet and simple 
 Yorkshire phrase, was " stiff wi' brass " settled down to 
 one of the most unremitting, unanimous, and unreserved 
 drinkings ever recorded in the history of the British or 
 any other Army. 
 
 Soon afterwards the Tha-Knaws were put on the 
 roster for foreign service, and were ordered " banished," 
 said the Major to Halifax, N.S. 
 
 There was scarcely an unbroken head, heart, or window 
 in Ballynoggin as the Battalion marched away. 
 
 3'S
 
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