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PRIVATE
LIBRARY
OF
FRED E.
SMITH.
No.
Sec.
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!
SOME
ACCOUNT
OF THE
L I F E
AND
RELIGIOUS LABOURS
O F
SARAH GRUBB.
WITH AN
A P P E N D I X,
CONTAINING AN ACCOUNT
OF THE
SCHOOLS at ACKWORTH and YORK,
OBSERVATIONS on CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE,
AND
EXTRACTS
FROM MANY OF HER
LETTERS.
John vi. 12.
Gather up the Fragments that remain,
that Nothing be loft.
DUBLIN:
Printed for R. JACKSON, No. 20, Meath-street.
m,dcc,xcii.
CONTENTS.
CHAP. I.
Her Education. — Divine Vfitations. — Conficl arifng
from her natural Vivacity , Zsfc. — Solid State of ha
Mind in the early Part of Life. — Exercifes about the
Time of her firfl Appearance in the Minifry. —
fifit to Part of the Counties of IVe/hnoreland and
Cumberland. — Vift to the Meetings of Chi fire and a
Part of thofe in Lancafire, Istc. Page I
CHAP. II.
r Marriage — and Journey into Scotland, Cumber-
land, &c. 43
CHAP. III.
Vift to her Hujbatld's Relations in Ireland. — Journey
; Norfolk, oV. — Vift to the Meetings of Friends
in Ireland. 78
C II A P. IV.
to /owe of the Wejlem Counties of England.
114
C II A P. V.
Family Vift at Sheffield. — Illncfs there. — Confederation
of removing into Ireland. — Journey into Lmcolnfire.
— Removal to Ireland. — Journey into Holland, Ger-
many, and France. 145
CHAP. VI.
Her Concern refbe&ing a Boarding School for Female
ith. — Vift to Friends Families in Cork. — Jour-
my to London. — Vift to Dunkirk, Holland, Pyr-
viont, t&c. — Her Return — and Deceafe. — Ttf into-
ning her. 183
INTRODUCTION.
AS few lives have exhibited a more pure
example of piety and virtue, than that -
which is fet forth in the enfuing pages, it has
been thought right to bring it forward to ge-
neral notice; under a hope, that an account
of this humble, felf-denying, and dedicated
fervant, will prove the means of inftrucling
others ; and of ftrengthening their faith in the
efficacy of that Divine Principle, " which
wrought all her works in her."
It will be proper to inform the reader, that
the materials from which this work is com-
pofed, confift of journals written by herfelf
of her travels through Scotland, Ireland, and
fome of the weftern counties in England , and
of a confiderable number of letters to fome of
her intimate friends. From thefe laft have
been extracted fuch parts, as were defcriptive
of her other labours and travels, or likely to
be of public ufe. A connexion of the differ-
ent events and circumftances, has been made
throughout, by fhort narratives or explanati-
ons ; but great care has been taken to pre-
ferve, as much as could be, her own words
and arrangements.
Thofe extracts of letters which do not ap-
pear to have a peculiar connexion with the
A %
iv INTRODUCTION.
narrative, and which could not have been re-
gularly introduced there, have been collected
together, and are, nearly in the order of time,
inferted in the Appendix. The importance of
their fubjects, and their inilruclive tendency,
it is apprehended, will render them an accept-
able addition to the other part of the work.
Although, from the time of her engagement
in the miniflry, fhe was greatly dedicated, and
much employed in various religious fervices
during the remainder of her days ; yet, for
want of materials left by herfelf, an account of
many of thefe is omitted in the following
work ; which it feemed proper to confine, al-
moft throughout, to fuch part of her life and
labours as could be collected from her own
writings. It may not be improper to obferve
alio, that this mode of compofmg a narrative,
by extracts from letters, will fome times be,
unavoidably attended with a want of clofe
connexion, and with a degree of repetition :
but as this was the only way by which a ma-
terial part of her labours could be brought
into view, it is hoped that thefe circumilances
w ill not be deemed of much confequence; and
that the deeply inftructive nature of her lite-
rary correfpondence, will fufficiently warrant
its publication.
THE
LIFE
F
SARAH GRUBB.
CHAP. I.
Her Education. — Divine Vifttations. — Conficl arifng
from her natural Vivacity £sV. — Solid State of her
Mind in the early Part of Life. — Exercifes about
the Time of her jirjl Appearance in the Miniftry*
— Viftt to Part of the Counties of Wejlmoreland
and Cumberland. — Vifit to the Meetings of Chtfhire>
and a Part of thofe in Lancajhire, &c.
SARAH GRUBB, daughter of William and
Elizabeth Tuke, was born at York in Great
Britain, 20th of 6th month, in the year 1756.
In her tender years, fhe was deprived of her mo-
ther, who was removed from her by death, before
flie was five years old : but her father marrying
B
z The LIFE of
again about the tenth year of her age, this lofs was,
Lmn that time, abundantly compenfated by the
maternal care and regard of a fecond mother •, of
whole tendernefs, and folicttude for her beft wel-
fare, ihe has left many grateful and affectionate
teftimonials.
The watchful and religious education with which
fhe was favoured, proved as a hedge round about
her, and, under divine care, prelerved her during
that dangerous feafon of life, from the many cor-
ruptions and follies, that abound in the world, and
to which unguarded young people are lbrrowfully
expofed. In the days of her youth, Ihe was often
made fenfible of the goodncl's of her heavenly Fa-
ther, and her eyes anointed to fee the emptinels
and delufion of all worldly enjoyments, and to be-
hold the beauty which there is in the truth •, and
ftrong defires were often in her mind, that
ihe might be thoroughly refined, and, even at the
lots of every thing elle, be made to poffefs the pearl
of great price.
Thefe gracious extenfions of divine regard met
with great oppofitton from the liveliiiefs of her dii-
poiition, and the ftrength of her natural power., \
which occafioned the felf denying meeknefs and
ipli< ity of the chriftian life, to be to her an hard
attainment-, and many painful ftrugglcs ihe expe-
r: raced, before flic was made willing to yield up
every facrtfice, and to follow her Lord whitherfo-
ever he might be plcafed to lead.
During the laft illnefs of that eminent miniftcr,
John V- D, (he was, at times, favoured to wait
SARAH GRUBB. 3
upon and afiift him. His faith and patience, with
the fweet favour of his pure fpirit, made a deep and
profitable impreffion on her mind ; exemplifying
the power and goodnefs of that divine hand, which
(he felt fecretly at work in her own heart, calling
her to newnefs of life, and holinefs before the Lord.
It was to her that this valuable friend, when near
the clofe of life, addreffed thofe comfortable ex-
preffions, which, indeed, may be called a bleffing :
« My child, thou feems very kind to me, a poor
creature ; the Lord will reward thee for it."
A deep fenfe of the purity of the divine life, and
a lively feeling of her own frailties, joined to an
earneft concern that fhe might become fully puri-
fied in heart and life, caufed great circumfpeclion and
fear, and made her often go mourning on her way.
This appears from the following extracts of divers
letters to her friends, written in early life, which,
in fome meafure, lhow the exercife, and ftate of her
mind, at that period ; and which may be accept-
able, as they ferve to exhibit the beginnings and
gradations of that work, which conlpicuoufly marked
the future periods of her life.
1772. " I feel thy bearing with my weak-
neflfes, and thy candor in judging of them, which
makes me the more ready to communicate what I
feel. Oh could I tell thee, it would be comfortable !
But that which is felt and not underftood, can-
not be defcribed •, and, indeed, I begin to think a
ftate of infenfibiiity to what is good is approaching.
I may truly fay I dread it. May I, by that fear,
guard the more ; yet my infirmities feem fo jufc a
B 2
4 '1 h t L [ F £
caufc, that they arc numerous enough to deprefs the
little life that is left."
1772. " Thine has excited in mc the warm-
eft wi fh.es for the extendings of divine bounty, to
be enabled, with resignation and fortitude, to do,
b ar, or fuller, whatever it may pleafe the Father of
fpirits to inflict upon me. Yet 1 cannot but, with
confeious forrow, own the truth of thy remark, con-
1 *ning .1 too great anxiety for a larger portion of
the d< :igs of the Father's love, than is luit-
able in the light of an omnifcient Deity."
1773. " ^ ie'em recovering from my late
illnefs, a;ul have favourable fymptoms for life , but
for what kind of a one I know not. I am at a lofs
to lay whether it is a pleafing, or a painful profpect.
1 feel the cil'ects of both, and am read) to counte-
nance the latter, knowing there is fomething in my
nature, which is loth to be fubjected under that
power, which ought to actuate every part vA our de-
meanour; and there is nothing, th.it I know of, fo
contrary to my natural will, as that patiently wait-
ing, and quietly Imping, which thou mentions ; it
being, inly, preparatory to the work of refor-
mation in u> \ and if this be rightly performed, no
mundane enjoyment would be adequate to the loru-
tafte "t that confummate felicity, which I believe is the
• 1 fo d. iirable a work: and, indeed, without
1", . . v <»t that blening, even in my unworthy
!, this life, would be little fuperior to that (or
ild look. But O this glimpfe of hope,
b v.v ready are we to catch, though the twig be ever
.,, .. ader, and the profpeel ever I'o faint I yet there
SARAH GRUBB. 5
is a danger of being deluded, as the Achrerfary is
ever ready to attack the weak part, and that is one
which is generally expoied, there being room in
the human breaft for fuch prepoffeffions. I ao
quiefce with thee, that it is in filence we enjoy
advantage, and in folitude we mufe the won-
ders of unfearchable wifdom. Could we but par-
take of a larger ihare of retirement, I am fenfible
the works of an almighty hand would have a greater
influence, and the mind would not be fo alien-
ated from this fource, this pleafing fource of every
joy."
1773. "Surely the commemoration of the
goodnefs of infinite wifdom, in favouring a large ihare
of the youth of our fociety with a virtuous and ibb^r
education, ought to infpire us with a willingnels to
imitate the bright examples we have, rather than
thofe, whofe lois we mould compaffionate; for many
are the irreligious principles, that the Adverfary is en-
deavouring to fuggeft in the minds of youth, more
efpecially when they are expofed to the tempeftuous
billows of an unftable world ; but happy is it for
thofe that refift the temptations, and furmount the
difficulties : if any may look to the recompenfe of
reward, 'tis certainly they. But for my part, I am
often afraid left I fhould grow like the heath in the
defert, that knoweth not when good cometh ; or that
the manifold favours fhould prove, as water fpilt
upon a ftone ; for I am fure there is a hardnefs
in the natural heart, not eafily penetrated •, and
though. I experimentally confefs it, yet I hope there
B 3
6 The LIFE of
are many, on the other hand, who can fay, tluy
witnefs the returning from their gatherings with
friends, as arifing from the wafhing pool."
1774. " We certainly reap the grcateft ad-
vantages from a friend, when the mind and natural
flow of fpirits are moft deprefied. It is at thefe
feafons we hear the intelligible language of fympa-
thy, in its pleafing notes, and look upon friendflup
in its exalted ftation. A view of thefe enjoyments
excited me to tafte their fruits, (which are the dif-
clofure of our minds) by opening the fountain of
forrows, and unlocking the fpring of painful feel-
ings. That they may overflow the banks of my
pleafures, and bring down the tall cedars of Leba-
non, laying waftc the hills and the mountains, and
eftablifhing in the room, that Rock whereon the church
mud be built, is the fwaying inclination of my heart.
But how apt arc we to turn our feet from the path
which is narrow ; being unwilling to make ftraight
fteps, a thing moft repugnant to our unregenerate
wills ! We therefore cull out every difcouragement,
and ftumble at the fmalleft ftone ; each profpect ap-
peal ing in its gloomieft colours, or rather, our eyes
being dimmed by the glitter of worldly objects, and
inexperienced in the joys accruing from faithfulnefs,
we fee them not."
1775. " Though trials and conflicts arc
allotted to the faithful followers, yet they rife, as
with froncs of memorial, from the bottom of Jordan ;
•-11 aku ! T, and fuch like, inftead of being bene-
fitted by thefe baptifms, find them unplcafing and
contrary to our natural propcnlitics, and fo fhun
SARAH GRUBB. 7
them, for a more eafy way to peace •, but cannot
fuch be met with in a ltraight place, where neither
the devices of the creature, nor the pleafures of the
world, can refcue them from the pains of a wound-
ed confcience ? "When I look at thefe things, and
conllder how intricate the path to our real happinefs
is, it makes me frequently fay in my heart, « blef-
fed are the dead that have died in the Lord."
1775. " My m i n d was often with you yef-
terday, though I could not thereby partake of the
valuable company of our dear friends ; but I hope
many that are more worthy did : for certainly the
fociety of thofe labourers in the great vineyard,
muft be pleating and instructive ; yet, at times, we
feel a mortification in their abfence, which, if fuffer-
ed to have its proper effect, might be a means of
exciting us to feek after an inward communion with
the fource of all good, the fpirit of truth, which is
pure and unmixed with human propenfities. But
I am afraid that I am fpeaking more from hearing
the experiences of others, than from my own j for
I know the language of this internal monitor is not
intelligible, without the mind be prepared by the
fubjection of its will, and all its powers yield to the
Supreme : and this Hate I am fo often deprived of,
by the predominance of felf, that it feems hard
to fay, whether I ever rightly enjoy this divine
privilege."
1777. " When we are favoured to feel an.
internal communion, an intercourfe incomprehenil-
bie, 'tis indeed attended with rejoicing of heart. A
B 4
S TheLIFEof
flate which I can impute to no good caufe, frequent-
ly accompanies me, in which it would be hard tor
me to fay, I love my friends ; but perhaps it is a
conltitutional ftupidity, which nothing but the imme-
diate operations of truth can diveft of; and it is only
during the overfhadowings thereof, that the ufeful
faculties of my mind are applied to good purpofes ;
for the fpring of thy S. T.'s machinery are indeed
weak, and daily require a fupernatural aid ; but
when wifdom utters her voice, when the gentle
tnovings of uncreated purity have gained our ear,
what obduracy does it require to refill its energetic
language, and lightly efteem the offers of perma-
nent peace ! My heart glows with an earnefr. folici-
tude, that we, my dear friend, may never faint in
our purfuit after celeftial treafure, but refignedly
furrender our whole aifections to the gracious difpo-
fer, and prcferver of his people j then, I doubt not,
our union will increafe, in the increafe of purity, and
our joy and rejoicing in the fruition of reward, will be
of that nature with which the ftranger doth not
intermeddle."
In the twenty third year of her age, flue appeared
in the miniftry. For this awful fervice fhe had
been prepared, by the great head of the church,
with deep and humbling baptifms of fpirit. But as
fiie continued patient and faithful, under this prov-
ing difpenfation, ihc experienced divine fupport, was
gracioufly brought through all, ami enabled to ftand
acC ( caufe of truth and righteoufnefs on
h.
SARAH GRUBB. 9
The clofe trials and humiliations of her fpirit
about this time, are, in fome degree teftified, by the
following felections from her letters, to fome of her
near, fympathizing friends. And though thei'e ex-
tracts are of coniiderable extent, it is hoped their
inftrucHve tendency will warrant the infertion of
them thus at large.
1778. " I don't know but a little love for
my friends, and fenfibility of their favours, are the
only virtues I poffels, and, confequently, all that I
can derive any good from : for to my dear friend, to
whom my heart hath ever been open, I may con-
fefs, that whatever has heretofore felt like life, or
been a participation of eternal fubftance, (though
alwavs fmall, and no doubt the food convenient for
me) is now entirely extinguiihed ; and the law,
the teftimony, and the effufions of fome little fecret
devotion, are all as fprings fhut up, and fountains
fealed. Thou art experienced, and tried with many
deep baptifms, with wants and with aboundings ;
but perhaps fuch a Hate of infenlibility to, and deler-
tion of, all that feems good and valuable, was never
feen meet for thee ; thy reiignednefs rather bringing
thee its rewards, thofe of true obedience, which
have built up and compacted as a Jerufalem, the
foundations whereof are fure. But if thou knew
the different fztuation of my poor toiled mind, it
would, I believe, excite a degree of thy fympathy,
and fear that the Tempter will wholly overcome : for
now, in this time of deep poverty, the world ban
indeed occupied much room, and what may be
B 5
io The LIFE of
called the enjoyments of It, are as day fettering that
part appointed for immortality." " I often won-
der when better times will come; when, in truth,
we can adopt the language of the juft to their anci-
ent fource : " fpring up, O well, ling ye unto it !"
But how can my humiliation be deep enough, when
I confefs, that this fountain appears to be to me,
neither ancient nor new ?"
1778. M There is, I believe, an holy inter-
course and communion experienced by thofe whole
language is iimiiar and pure, whole feet are cftubliih-
ed upon the immovable Rock, and whole teacher
and ftrength is the Sovereign Lord. This is, I
doubt not, one of their rewards ; but its fanc r tity, its
ned and exalted nature, ieems to exclude me
from the participation thereof; for I may confefs,
the painful experience of my mind is often under
fuch a ftate of defertion from infinite goodneis, that
I icarce dare look rewards his holy temple, or ad-
. Is. him, but in Gghs unutterable."
1778. u Let us travel, unitedly travel for-
ward in the path of humble obedience, which tho'
tribulatedj and thofc that walk in it have often to
lerience a (hare of this legacy, M In the world ye
thai] have trouble," yet the annexed peace, the
ad that is handed in fecrct, and the joy with
which a ftrangcr doth not intermeddle, arc finely
fiiiTicient rewards in this life, and an earncft of that
whicb is to come, that glorious referve of immortal
blifs. I fed a r I Miutudc than words can
defcribe, that we may, unitedly, be entitled to it,
and partake thereof, and that we may fed this ctr-
SARAH GRUBB. n
tain mark, that we love one another, even with that
love which will fubflft beyond the grave. But I
wonder how arofe thefe feniations, for I daily con-
clude myfelf deftitute of any that are good ; and in
the abfence of him whom I wilh to be to me the
chief of ten thoufand, I implore the path of obfcu-
rity, and, with the mournful prophet, exclaim in my
lonefome habitation, the fecret of my heart, " Oh
that I had in the wildernefs a lodging place ! but
alas ! this will not do, this is not the will of him
who deilres, not to take us out of the world, but to
preferve us from the evil that is therein. It is the
path of fuffering, it is the crofs and the fhame that
we recoil at ; and for want of true dedication of
heart, many deep and hidden forrows are ours."
1 779- " To inform thee, my dear friend,
of the fecret path I have trod of late, is a thing
which I know thy good fenfe, and experience in
the myfteries of godlinefs, will prevent thy requir-
ing. In the facred union, we fee the neceffity of
the leaven being hid, which cements together and
brings our nature into a onenefs, till the whole lump
is fancYified. Under this apprehenfion, I have of
Jate been led to endure many new and fevere con-
flicts, without daring to feek con Ablation, fave from
that fountain, which iffues in the right time, an
inexhauftible ftrearn *, but to which I am ready to
conclude, I am not entitled to approach."
1779. "I lately thought the bleffing that was
craved for us-, was abundantly fhed, and our walk-
ing feemed, a little, as if it was by the pillar and the
cloud j but now, the fun and the moon, even thofe
i2 The LIFE or
heavenly bodies which are univcrfally diffufed, have,
from our eye, withdrawn their- light. For my part,
1 have feveral times concluded, the work is done;
and if it be fuificiently, 1 am glad ; but when it
feels like the defcription of meat and drink, there
wants, not only patience, but refignation ; an at-
tainment which appears to me to be a degree harder
than the other. Oh may we walk in the way caft
up for us, and may we, now our Mules is with-
drawn, be preferred from making a iikenefs !"
'* A fouth land" will, I hope, yield thee " fprings
of water:"' they require hard digging for here ; but
the fountain is found to be fo deep when come
at, that we need not be afraid of the labour.
But i have nothing to boaft of, for the refreihing
influence of the waters of this fountain, has, I doubt
not, been wifely withheld from me ; and to have a
channel ready lor their return, is, wh.it I endea\our,
though feebly, to preferve^'
17-9. " My mind has been, for fome time,
' le 1 f deriving any fatisfaction, from either the
Millie with, or confolation of afriend. And not
having any deiire to feek comfort, or ha-\c any, but
from the fount. .in of it, filence was not only mo ft
« at with my judgment, but moft eafy to my-
felf, if 1 found any thing that could hear that cha-
er. Flood <t iftrefi have indeed nearly over-
Imed me, and 1 know not where to turn, or
win n to look; I ab I myfelf, and beheld not
the power that could purify. " When I I for
n :, then e\ I for light, behold»there
was darkni fs."
SARAH GRUBB. 13
1779. " I went to meeting yefterday morn-
ing, with, I thought, fome degree of devoted nefs,
and for fome time fat in darknefs j but after a deep
labour of mind, there felt fomething to gather about
me ; and with it came my deep rooted diflike to
the work ; which fo ftrove with the other, that for
a time, enduring a ftate of agony, the meeting broke
up. On going in the afternoon, I concluded myfelf
given up, and little expected to feel any thing again
at that time : but after fitting a while, the matter
again returned, and would, I believe, have terminat-
ed the fame way, had not a friend ftood up with the
paffage, "He that knew his Lord's will and prepared
not himfelf, neither did according to his will, fhall
be beaten with many ftripes." This did indeed
come home, and fo operated with what was already
kindled, that, after fuch a conflict as I have caufe
ever to remember, I ventured upon my knees, and,
in a manner I believe fcarcely intelligible, poured out
a few petitions. Now I feel in fuch a ftate of hu-
miliation and fear, as I never before experienced ;
and my ftrength, both natural and fpiritual, fo
low, that the floods are ready to come upon me
again."
1780. " I often keep filence, and find my-
felf a fubject copious enough for meditation, which is
not always of the pleafing kind ; but I endeavour to
pafs along as quietly as I can ; it being feldom
my lot to experience much fympathy or fellow-
fhip with my friends, and, confequently, I cannot
expect to derive much from theirs. And yet for all
14 The LIFE of
this, I do not mean to complain, but am abundantly
convinced, that I lived upon this pleafant fruit, this
fenfible union, long enough ; and to know the want
of it, is, I doubt not, fomctimes as neceffary as its free
circulation, which m;iy perhaps return in its fcafon,
•when it may prove like the dew of Hermon."
1780. " I cannot but fear thy apprehen-
fions of my alliance to a ftate of properly attained
peace, arife more from thy good wifhes to mc, as an
individual, and from that univerfal love, which is
impreft with a fenfe of the benevolent extendings of
divine regard, that defires all may partake as at the
river of life freely, than from a juft fenfe of the
real filiation of my mind ; which has not yet cart
its fackcloth covering, nor received a garment of
praife. And as this change cannot be effected, but
by the miraculous power of the dh ine arm, I wifh
only to feek for it from this fource of ftrength ; and
if it be my lot to go foftly all the days of my
life, in the bitternefs of my foul, I wifh to fub-
mit to this allotment, and endure the neceffary turn-
ings of the divine hand : but Oh! that I had in the
wildernefs a lodging place, that no eye might fee,
nor ear hear, the imperfect ftate of a heart, the
depths of whofe diftrefs, omnipotence only can
fathom."
1780. "When thy letter, before this laft
reached me, it was my full intention to have re-
plied to it very foon ; but in this, as in the moft
important and ncceflary purfuits the human mind
can have, the fpirit of procraftination prevailed •,
▼/hich I generally find is the cafe, when the firft
SARAH GRUBB. 15
ability the mind pofTefTes to do good, is not accepted.
This is a reflection I have often painfully to make, be-
caufe its fubject never fails to impart a feeling feme
of weaknefs ; and when we consider it properly,
that our being here is uncertain, and that the time,
wherein we can acquire durable riches, is, though
fufflcient for the work defigned us, fhort and fleet-
ing, we can fcarce quench an impuife to vigilance, or
view ourfelves in any other light, than fojourners in
a land of exile, where the fpirit that is pure, and the
light which is the life of men, is opprefTed and reject-
ed, becaufe to the natural eye, it hath neither form
nor comelinefs. I may, to my dear friend confefs,
that my travel hath long been through a wafte
howling wildernefs, where, (though furrounded with
innumerable bleflings) my mind hath been led moft-
ly to feel itfelf like a pelican, and to wifh for an
outward fituation fimilarly obfcure, that I might for
ever be hid from the eyes of men, of whom I often
feel a fear that baffles defcription ; but as this allot-
ment has not fallen out for me, there feems no way,
but limply to attend to that impuife which I have
apprehended to be divine, and at the fame time
am thoroughly willing to be convinced, is not. Thy
wifh, that faith may be equal to the trials of my
day, was peculiarly applicable ; for could I give thee
an idea, how often I am ready to fink in the depths
of diftrefs, when the weeds are indeed wrapped
about my head, and all fupports are either refufed or
withdrawn, thou would readily conclude me fhort
of faith, and patience too. But no language is able
to fet forth that fituation of mind, when the wifdora
16 The L I F E of
which is from above, and that which is from be-
neath arc ltruggling for victory. It is truly a fiery
trial, but one which I fear will never in me confume
all the reprobate iilver. I have ltumblcd on a fubject,
which I had no thoughts of even hinting at, when I
began ; but in confidence and freedom I have often
been led to open my mind to thee, and I truft That,
wherein we were heretofore united] will not fail to
ftrengthen our bond, and open to us a channel of
converfe, more hidden and pure than we have yet
altogether experienced ; and a fellowship which is
only underftood, when the myfteries of the true
church are opened. Tell me, my beloved friend !
art thou paffing through this wildernefs, and often
ready to faint for want of water? If fo, allow me
to lay, prolong not thy journey there, through a
fcarfulncls of taking thy poffefTums in the promifed
land, nor of the inhabitants which are to be fubdued
before it can be enjoyed j for I truft no tranfient,
fading joy, can yield thy mind that peace it defires :
wherefore let not thy hands hang down, but
rather put on ftrength, in the name of him who is
able to help, and in whom is the fulnefs of power,
and be ftrong and work ; for I believe it is a day, in
which this command is gone forth to thofe whofe
hands are not polluted, and whofe language is not
that of confufion. Deep are the baptifms of fuch,
or how could they be fitted to (land in that day of
trial which is, with a gradual and fleady pace ap-
proaching, if not rooted and eftablifhed upon that
Rock, againfi which the gates of hell can never pre-
vail. And though thei'e, for the prefent, have to
SARAH GRUBB. 17
drink of that cup of adverfity, whereof our holy pat-
tern firfl: tafted, and have to be baptized with the
baptifm he was baptized with, yet, in the immediate
revival of his promifes, from that comforter which
he has fent, there remains to be confolation."
In the 4th month 1780, with the approbation of
the monthly meeting, and in company with her
mother, fhe was engaged in a religious vifit to
friends in the counties of Weftmoreland and Cum-
berland.
The following extracts contain the material parts
of what are collected, from her own account of her
concern in this vifit.
" The meeting at Bowes was trying, though
I believe fatisfactory to my mother. For my part, I
had deep heart-felt mortification, (which I have
been very little free from fince) and went very much
fatigued to bed, it being ten at night when the meet-
ing broke up, and we had a hard day's work in tra-
velling. Next morning, we fat a little with a fchool-
mafler and his wife, to whom there was much open-
nefs to communicate clofe counfel, as well as encou-
ragement. Next day we went to Penrith, where we
ftaid over firft day, and had two fuffering meetings ;
in both which I felt a greater unwillingnefs to fub-
mit to a neceuary wading of fpirit, than I can de-
fcribe ; for really, the fpring of life requires fuch
digging for, in places where the fubftance of religion
is departed from, and only the image retained, that,
in this exercife, I frequently felt ready to faint, and
always engage with it in great dread ; becaufe it
oppofes that natural part, which would keep the
1 8 T h e L I F E o r
houfe in peace, and be free from all thcfe troubles.
However, I felt more eafe of mind in the evening
than I could have expected, having drank tea at
the houfe of a widow friend, and bad an open,
favoured opportunity amongft her daughters, fede-
ral of whom appear to be under a frefh vifitation.
We were at the monthly meeting at and
a mo ft painful, trying time it was : but after much
labour, and deep fufiering, the right thing got up-
permost, and though the other was not (lain, it was a
favour thct it did not altogether rule. Oh the un-
tempered mortar there is in that place, and the un-
foundnefs almoft from the crown of the head, to
the fole of the foot ! I ventured to ftammer out
what appeared, though in a manner fcarcely intelli-
gible, and in great fear, having previoufly had fpeci-
mens of offerings, which carried not the evidence of
having been prepared at the altar, and which in-
deed often create the query, " who mail ftand ?"
" Longtown * was, as I expected, a place
of fome fuffering to me ; but I could not have ex-
pected to have felt myfelf fuch a fpcckled bird as I
did, though I kept myfelf much to myfelf: but it
was impoffible to keep as retired as was deferable,
nor were my motives for it juftifiable, being only to
fhun the appearance of a fool, amongft a let of wife
and fine folks, whom we had at our inn. Indeed,
a ftatc of deep heartfelt mortification has been my
lot, moftly, fincc I faw you •, but as the caufe, with-
out doubt, originates in the impurity of my own
mind, I ought to be thankful for difpenfations fo ne-
* The northern yearly meeting was then held there.
SARAH GRUBB. 19
cefiary, though hard to bear j for furely there
never was any, to whom the fimplicity of truth
was fo ir'kfome, and who caufed themfelves fuch
deep and hidden conflicts as myfelf. When one is
got over, and another approaches, that difpofition,
which loves not forrow, but would walk eafily
through life, is ready, in the remembrance of what
it has fuffered, t<U*ay, like the king appointed for
deftruclion, I thought the bitternefs of death was
paft; but Oh! how many ftrokes do I need to
accomplifh this death ! It has been hard for me
to have my mind bent under any degree of that
weight and fufFering, which are generally neceffary
to feel, before the fpring is found to be opened, or
any circulation of divine life experienced : becaufe
flefh and blood cannot aid in this labour, and, its
ftrength being fet at nought, it wars with the fpi-
rit : in the feeling whereof, I am often ready to
faint. Oh ! that my feet may ftand faft in the
bottom of Jordan ; that I may neither flinch from
a neceffary wading of fpirit, nor be overpowered
with the floods of the mighty deep ; and, above all,
that I may be preferved from uttering words with-
out life, for truly, "I am a child !"
« When I wrote you laft, my mind was
indeed in a fad fpot •, the billows feemed to go over
my head, and life felt almoft to be a burden ; for I
could not at that time, look at our going to White-
haven without the view of vifiting the families, and
that work appeared fo ungrateful to me, that I could
not bear the thoughts of having any thing to do
in it. However, I endeavoured to forget it, and to
confider that if the thing was right, it would be got
29 The LIFE' of
through, and that fomebodv*, better able and better
lkilled than mvfelf, would have the burden to bear,
and the work to do ; and that if I got mortified
with having fomething to do, now and then, the
vifit might be of as much benefit to me as to tbc
whole meeting befules. Thus I endeavoured to reft
it, when my mind would fubmit to think coolly on
the fubject; and indeed I had almoft loft the painful
impreilion when we got to Whitehaven, till we
both felt it in the forenoon meeting on ill day,
with this concluiion, that to yield was the only way
to leave the place in peace. My mother having
previous to her view of this vifit, concluded to have
a meeting at Maryport on 3d day, found herlelf
moft eafy to purfue that plan, and accordingly we
went on 2d day afternoon. We found that the
right time was fixed on for Maryport, and a favour-
ed meeting it was, there being much opennefs to
labour, indeed far more than in fome pi here a
greater appearance is retained •, but where, it is for-
rowfully to be felt, the mighty arc fallen, and tribes
are lacking amongft them. There arc many fuch
places in this county, as well as in ours ; and under
a fenfe thereof, we have known a going bowed
down all the day long. After this meeting, we
returned to, and proceeded in, the work at White-
haven. The labours in this vifit were of the mor-
tifying kind, and required a continual cxercife of
both faith and patience : becaufe we had generally
to fit where the people fat, which v fcen in
difmal places -, but being, I truft, in the right li:
it will be made more profitable than could then be
SARAH GRUBB. 21
feen. It got finiihed on 6th clay, and in the even-
ing there was a meeting appointed to begin at
5 o'clock •, which was, like all the vilit before, a
fuffering meeting ; but I hope the rightly concerned
in that place, will reap the benefit of it, for it was,
though painful, a remarkable time. It is with a
degree of thankfulnefs I may acknowledge, that I
felt in this vilit, a greater resignation to what I ap-
prehended was the divine will, than I ever experi-
enced before ; and I can, now it is over; cheerfully
fubmit to the belief, that I was of no uie, (if even
preferved from doing harm) but that the thing was
made ufeful to me, in fubjecting my own mind, and
teaching me, by a little more experience, the true way
to wifdom, which is firft becoming a fool. This ftate
of preparation I expect to be in, all my life long ;
but I wifh, (with a fear) that it may be fo abode in,
as to obtain the prize at laft. Well, this trial is
over, with being reiufed, reviled, and fought with as
by beafts at Ephelus ; yet thefe are fmall troubles in-
deed, when compared with the enemies of our own
houfes, that hoft of oppoiition which is often hard to
prefs through. This woe is pail, and I pray in my
heart that another of the fame kind may not foon
come ; for though I was favoured to feel it made
much eafier to me than I could have expected, yet
the work of viiiting families has always, flnce I was led
ferioufly to confider it, appeared to be fo awful, and
to require the royal fignet to be fo evidently affixed,
that the fear is great, of either moving without it,
or being concerned in fo momentous a work, when
22 The LIFE of
there is not ftrength enough to fupport, and wifdom
to teach."
On th/ir way home, they felt a concern to viiit
the families of friends at Kendal; near the conclu-
iion of which, (he fays, " The fpirits and body
feem both ready to fail under the prefent exercife ;
but we have no reafon to repent engaging with it ;
for, thus far, we have experienced ftrength fufficient
for the day." Soon after her return from this jour-
ney, ihe writes concerning it as follows : " After
many clofe exercifes and deep trials, mine chiefly of
my own making, we are now enjoying a good degree
of peaceful ierenity, and though (I think) iuflici-
ently ftripped, yet we feem pretty clear of any pain-
ful reflections on the paft allotment.
Towards the latter end of the year 1780, ihe
came under a religious concern to join her friend
and relative T. Hoyland, in a viiit to the meetings
of Chelliire, and a part of thole in Li lire. And
having the concurrence of t) mthly meeting,
and a certificate thereof", ihe let I 1 to engage
in this fervice, in the 12th month. The eniuing
parts of her letters cm the fubjec"c, ifford fome ac-
int of this journey, and ' the Qtuation of her
mind, under the profpect of the work before her,
aji.l in the profecution and 1 tion thereof.
" Cheshire has long atti Sb I my mind,
an i of late more than ufual > and on my COufifl
T. II. laying a uxntlar concern before m , th ii feel-
ingl revivcl with fbme weight; and not without
a great fear left, (thoi gh the impulie might he
right) the time and companion might not be in the
SARAH GRUBB. 23
fame appointment : and hence appeared the necef-
fity of having it hewed and fquared.
" It is only in a little faith that I look
towards the journey in profpec~t, and at the rectitude
of it ; and though I fear it is not equal to a grain of
muftard feed, yet I think I am thankful for this
little : and fince it has been received, and the affair
mentioned, a degree of peacefulnefs and quietude
hath attended my mind, which is all the light I find
upon it ; and which requires fometimes, all my vi-
gilance to retain, left the floods from the mouth of
the dragon fhould overwhelm, and caft away that
little ftrength that is at prefent afforded ; and in-
ftead of adding thereto by devotednefs, to be any
thing or nothing, leave me toifed upon the unftable
element, where neither rock nor fhore can fometimes
be perceived."
" It was not indeed the leaft of my con-
cern, or rather diflike, to fubmit to the thoughts of
going to fome places in Lancashire, which I had in
view ; for, indeed, that feemed not much lefs than
giving up my life : and this proceeded from consi-
derations which I think thou canft hardly fhare,
having furmounted many of the difficulties and mor-
tifications which appear very formidable to me. But
when we have fuffered for difobedience, and are fa-
voured with a view of the rewards of the faithful,
and are likewife convinced of the importance of our
duties, though ever fo fmall in appearance ; when our
nothingnefs is Sufficiently felt, and our minds im-
prefTedwith the awfulnefs of the divine requirings; life
itfelf looks but a fmall facrifice, and fo reafonable, that
^4 The LIFE of
there is no excufe for withholding it, especially that
inward exiltence which docs not co-work with the
life of true religion".
" From Ackworth, I had a companion
•who imparted lome good and wholefome counfcl to
me, and more encouragement, than I could have
looked for ; but my lecret fitting was in the dull,
and much gloom itemed to cover my little views. I
reflected on the preceding evening, and found its
enjoyment was then like manna two days old, having
loll both favour and nourifhmeat ; and inftcad of a
renewal of the lame, a fall was difpenfed, the caufe
of which I mult leave ; hut it is a painful one,
and if I had felt myl'elf before I left home, as I have
done fince, it is much if the venture had been made.
Could I believe that this is any thing like going
forth without either fcrip or purfe, I fhould perhaps
be more reconciled. I am thankful that, in every ftate
I have lome degree of the comfortable impreflion,
that unity i ; ; and though mine is not of the
moll kind, yet in a renewed feeling of my
, I cannot but wilh, that we may be lb willing
to fuller together, and frequently to go down to
the potter's home, to be there fafhi >;. .,' and formed
cither for vcll-.ls of honour or difhonour, (as may
belt pleafe him who hath power over the day)
that we may alio c ncc an humble afcent to the
houfe of true prayer, an 1 a rejoicing tog< then My
r words to relieve, but being con-
vinced thai there is a betl :r ind more rc-lined inter-
coun ■ than this, a communion which, proportioned
SARAH GRUBB. 25
to our obedience, is pure and edifying, I wifh in that
to remember, and be remembered."
" We went to Lowlayton on 6th day, and
found there but one family of friends, who came in
by convincement. It was a comfortable place ; for
their fimplicity and integrity rendered their cottage
an agreeable manfion, in which there was nothing
painful to be felt. The meeting there next day, was
much larger than we looked for, many people in the
neighbourhood coming in, whole folid, innocent
countenances, were, I thought, as likely to do us
good, as we to do them any. It was a fatisfactory
meeting, and afforded fome encouragement to pro-
ceed. We went to Stockport on 7th day afternoon;
the meeting on firft day was a painful, trying one,
and yet ftrength was not withheld. From Maccles-
field we came to Leek, and have juft finifhed (ex-
cept one family) a vifit to the families here. We
have had eight fittings to day, befides the week-
day meeting, which has been clofe work. We are
however (and have caufe to be) thankful, that
ftrength equal to the undertaking has been afforded;
and though we have been deeply tried, yet, upon
the whole, I believe we may acknowledge, that we
have lacked nothing, and have been much united to
a few in this place. This work cf vifiting fami-
lies, is the laft I fhould choofe for myfelf, if I might
be my own choofer ; but as it is wrong to defire that
indulgence, I fee I may as well give myfelf up to
what appears in the line of duty. — It is with thank-
fulnefs of heart, that I acknowledge myfelf in a tole-
C
26 The L I F E o f
rable degree of health, through many different dif-
penfations which have fallen to my lot fince 1 law
you ; for there have been experienced a -wanting,
and a l'ulhcient abounding; but I wiih I could add,
that in every ftate I have learned to be content.
Great indeed hath been the condefcenlion of him
who is pleafed to make ufe of poor, weak inftru-
ments, and by things which not only appear low and
contemptible, but are {o in reality, to bring to
nought, and reduce things that are mountains in
profpect ; proving to us a prefent help in every
needful time, and, by his invifible power, urcngth-
ening us when we are ready to faint in our minds.
And lull greater, I may acknowledge, hath appeared
his wifdom in deeply trying us, or however mylelf,
with the moil abject: poverty and ftrippednefs of
mind •, indeed fo much fo, that I think I never be-
fore experienced fuch humility, in a fenfe of myfelf,
and, under the convincing proof, that of ourfelves
we can do nothing. This is a (ituation wherein we
fee whence all good comes, and the neceflity of caft-
ing ourfelves fo wholly upon the divine arm, as to
have no confidence in the fleih. No difpenfation, how-
ever dcfirable the enjoyment of good may be, feems
fo much to drive us to the root of life, if we endea-
vour Sufficiently to profit by it ; anil confequently,
none that we ought to be fo thankful for, when our
hearts are capable of feeling true gratitude; for he
who knows the weaknefs of our frames, and is
touched with a feeling of our infirmities, fees what
we can bear, and knows how frail we are. Thus have
I, in this little journey, been wifely taught, through
SARAH GRUBB. 27
many trials, to live by faith ; and thus far, in re-
flecting on the paft, to own I have lacked nothing.
But we are abundantly convinced, that they who
are fent out in this day, to a people who have, in a
great meafure, forfaken both law and teftimony, and
what is ftill worfe, fee not their ftates, but are fecure
in themfelves, have not to eat much pleafant bread :
for I think I may fay, it hath often been our lots to
go bowed down all the day long, and to mourn in a
deep {ci\{"e of the great defolation which overfpreads
the fociety : infomuch, that we often admire that
there fhould be any fent out to vifit them, and that
the feet of thofe that are rightly fhod, fhould not
more generally be turned to others : for from thefe,
there are the greateft hopes in this county, which is
likely, in many places, to be left defolate of friends
who keep their places. We have, however, in a few
of the meetings which we have laft attended, been
agreeably disappointed, in finding more preferved or
quickened by the life of religion, than we expected •,
and it hath been our lot to vifit thefe, as well as a
very contrary fort, by families. A very trying
work it hath been, and it is not yet done. In it I
have often lamented, left for want of that fpirit of
difcerning, with which the prophet was endued,
when he went to anoint one of the fons of JefTe,
there fhould not be a right divifion of the word,
and thereby much harm be done. And under this
confideration, great abafednefs hath attended my
mind, and a defire that the fleece may be tried both
wet and dry. We left Namptwich undone, and
C 2
28 The LIFE of
i •' even d, to return to it no more ;
but now I have to confefs, we are on our way thither.
It is however a favour, that, 1 -ough all,
to feel and fympathize one with an< • I mean
ion and felf, and that our little lervices
have been harmonious ■> and if we keep near
r\;ng arm which hath been with us, I doubt
not but • i conti: , for
in unity, if it be of the right kind, there is certainly
.;'.." " We got to iManclufter, after a
: of many probations, \ ended better than
we could have looked for, at the beginning of it,
when our fa .ere ready to I ind the bi.
to run over cur , in the feeling
of what we had already fu . membering
the alHiclion and diitrefs, the wormwood and the
gall. C re humbled in the proipeel of
an opening field; but I truit it was He who com-
manded the waves to be ftill, that thefe floods,
and d a degree of fait! • ".ce to per-
fevcre in the t ited way. What need there is to
ar to the fountain of life, and to receive our
refrt. from it! becaufe from thence
only, arife our frefli :s, and immortal food ;
which, though the brc-nl of adverfity and the v.
of a: from this fcurce, it is no
acious to i , and
building us up, ' on with divine
purity. Our I :ub!e of •
concerning the \ ■: the difp< 9 of pr
kn w juently,
cannot prefcril I i ourfclyes. How pafBve then,
SARAH GRUBB. 2 ?
and how like little children, fhould we be to him
that fearcheth the heart ? but I am often afraid, left,
by indulging my own ideas of what is good, and not
labouring after a total refignation of mind, but
wanting to have things in my own way, I fhould
fruftrate the divine intention, which may be to hum-
ble and reduce felf, more than flefh and blood
would point out. The great meetings we meet with,
are almoft overmuch for us, and what made it ftill
worfe to us at Liverpool, was a funeral in the after-
noon, and a vaft number of people. We little
thought when we fixed to ftay over 2d day at
Manchefter, that we fhould have one to attend
there, which is the cafe this afternoon, and how
it will be got over, I know not. If we may but
be favoured to be rightly quiet, it is all we defire j
and if we cannot be that, it is certainly our beft
way, as far as we are able, to take up the crofs,
and defpife the fhame ; which fometimes feels great,
and at others, I may thankfully acknowledge, is in
a great meafure removed : but then, what need
there is of care not to overrun the guide, and work
without the power of the word ? Dangers furround
us on everv hand, and our ftanding- often feems as
on a fea of glafs."
" With fatisfadtion and pleafure, I have
lately looked towards home ; indeed with fo much,
that a fear fometimes ftrikes me, left in wifdom
fome unforefeen affliction fhould be fent to mode-
rate it. According to my prefent feelings, I am
returning peaceful and eafy \ and though we have
C 3
3 :> The LIFE or
nulled fome meetings, which I own I had a view of,
vet it was with a full belief, that thev will not be
* 'J
laid to my charge. I wiih that we may be thankful
enough for the favours we have received divers
ways, fince we left home ; and, what appears to me
no fmall one, for the rcadinefs of my beloved
connections, in making every thing as eafy as out-
ward means can poflibly do, and affording ac-
commodations, for want of which many lie under
very great difficulties. The confideration of thefe
things often affects my mind."
Bradford^ \<)th of \Jl month 1781.
" I thought, when we left Manchefter,
that it was a ftrange thing if we did not return to
it again ; yet I had fince loft the impreffion, fur-
ther than wondering why fuch a thought lhould
then have ftruck me ; and even the concern about
many meetings, which I thought we had miffed, was
fo much gone off my mind, (where it had dwelt
with fome weight) that I ieemed perfectly eafy, un-
der the belief that the concern would devolve on my
companion, but little expected it was lo foon to be
evinced : for after much fecret forrow, which I per-
ceived, but durit not pronounce my apprehenfions of
■ caufe, Ihe difelofed Lift night her uneafinefs,
ami defire to return to the places we paffed by, as
well as to go to fome others in this county. On
I "(king a little ferioufly at it, (indeed not a little,
we had nearly a fleeplefs night) I could not fee
it it was lefs than my duty to return with her ; not
only from having had a view of the fame places, but
as a CO on, which, if truly cne, cannot leave in
SARAH G R U B B. 31
the day of trouble. I wifh myfelf better qualified
to fympathize with her in this trial, which is a very
great one, and requires all the alleviations that are
in my power to befrow. I believe her willingnefs is
now lb great, that, for the purchafe of a little peace,
fhe would return to all the places, to do the things
which appeared needful, and were not fully joined in
with ; but when this great facrifke of the will is
completely made, I truft. fome ram will be caught in
the thicket, or fome fmaller offering accepted. Home
now looks at a great diftance, and I find that it will
contribute moft to my peace, to think as little of it
as I well can ; and if it had been lefs in my mind of
late, this turn in our affairs, would by me, have been
lefs felt. We find ourfelves after the meeting to~
day, in a very gloomy fituation of mind ; as it was a
fuffering time, and we thought left us with the
fentence of death in ourfelves ; perhaps that we
may not truft in ourfelves, which I ardently wifh we
may be preferved from. We intend going to Leeds
to-morrow evening ; we dread it not a little, and
this day's work increafes the apprehenfion of very
great fufFering ; but it often feems beft to leave,
or draw the mind from future trials, and endea-
vour, as well as we can, to bear thofe of the prefent
day, which are generally found to be fufficient."
Manchefier y /\tb of 2d month 178T.
" Our minds are often bowed down, under
a fenfe of the awfulnefs of our engagements, and
difmayed at the light ; nor need I fay how clofely
our time is filled up therewith ; for after fitting
C 4
32 The LIFE of
with feven or eight families, we arc generally ready
for reft. I have the very great fatisfaction now to
fay, that, except one family, wc have finiihed in this
place j have had lour to day, befide the two coeet-
ingSj and upwards of forty fince we began, v.
putting now and then two together. "\Ye were at
.Stockport on 4th day, and had it unexpectedly in
our power, to pay od" a fmall debt, which we con-
tracted when there before. It has been wonderful
to u^, how wc have bjen, and arc likely to be,
turned to places, and thrown in the way of doing
our fnft works; which wc cannot but view, m a.
mark of divine condcfcenfion to our infant flat
Indeed it hath been manifefted to us, far beyond
what wc could have looked for, in the courle of
this journey throughout ; and not lefs fo fince we
came into this place, v. here inftruction hath been
d ily adrnmiftcred from didercnt fourccs ; fome of
which have proved deeply trying to fiefh and
blood ; but being, I truft, in the ordering of uner-
ring wifdom, I wLfh (perhaps more than I endea-
vour) to profit patiently thereby, and \alue the rod
as well as the ftaff. It is indeed high time to num-
ber our bleffings. They are truly many, and wc
cannot fail of feeing and feeling them ; that of
ntal care and folicitude of feveral of
' r much honoured and valued friends, is not fmall
in our cftimation."
" We have now got to Warrington, and
are endeavouring t 1 ourfelves quiet, and, as
can, labour to feel whal U the divine
\ ill c 'ncerning us; which, with refpect to our
SARAH G R U B B. 33
coming here, hath been much a myftery. The prof-
peel: almoft difmays us, attended with a fear,
that we may now be in danger of comparing a
mountain in the wildernefs, and engage in a fervice,
for which our ftrength is not proportioned ; and fo,
notwithstanding we have been favoured with divine
condefcenfion to our Hates heretofore, bring upon
ourfelves unneceiTary trials, and thereby pierce
our minds, in future, with many forrows. It is no
fmall concern to us to find, with the prefent view of
things, every qualification wanting for fuch a fer-
vice j and our minds greatly ftripped of ftrength
and clear difcerning : and to move without a renew-
al of thefe, we dare not. When my companion firft
propofed our return, the evidence I thought Avas fo
ftroag, that I cheerfully complied ; yet feelings
very unlike thefe enfued, even a ftate of deep dif-
trefs and mortification, when I found we muft turn
our backs on home, and return from whence we
came, to do our firft works. Great was our pain,
from, I believe, an unfubjected will \ but great like-
wife and evident, was the operation of the divine
hand, in judgment upon us for the paft, aad, no
doubt, as a preparation for the future ; for it never
appeared clearer to me, than when under this clii-
penfation, that for every frefh fervice and work in
the church, we muft experience a renewed baptifin
of fpirit, and purification of the gift ; and that tl 1
more we have of the drofs, or the reprobate filvi
the more frequently muft we pafs through the r
ihg fire. Notwithstanding I was, Tometimes,
C 5
34 T H i LIFE of
impatience of my heart, ready to query as the chil-
dren of Ifrael did, " were there not graves enough
in Egypt} that we are brought hither to die ;" yet
there were times, when all that was within me, was
proftrated under the chaftiiing hand, and fought
that it might not fpare. Hew preferable is it to all
fecondary adminiflrations of judgment, when, with
David, we wiih rather to fall into the Lord's hands,
than into the hands of man ! and furely. the more
we feek to derive our inftrutftion and food from the
fountain of good, the lefs we (hall be fubject to in-
ftrumental means."
" I never felt myfelf under fuch compli-
cated difcouragements at anytime; and Oh! that we
may both be enabled to bear thele fiery trials, with
refignation to the divine will, and feek to profit
by them, that the fhite of a weaned child may be-
come our experience."
" As I make no doubt it will be accept-
able to thee to hear from two poor pilgrims, who
.ue ahnoft worn out with things that appear too
mighty for them, I juft embrace a little vacant time,
to hint how we have fared ; and may in the firft
place fay, that the pn Pent engagement hath been
the molt trying of the kind we ever experienced.
It hath been frequently cur lot, to go down as to the
bottom of the mountains, where the earth with her
bars, was about us; under this preflure, our minds
h .' in fecretly clad with fackcloth and deep
i. i it has evidently appeared, that the
pui f religion is in a itate of bond.:;-/', and that
it I . • " I am opprefTed und<
SARAH G R U B B. 35;
you, as a cart with flieaves." To vifit this feed of
the kingdom, we find to be no light matter, cfpeci-
ally when hid under the briers and thorns, and then
plumed with human wifdom ; who indeed is fufficient
for thefe things ? I often lament, and with reafon,
that my heart is not more bound to the caufe, and
more willing to fuffer for it •, and I fully believe,
that until this is more experienced, there will re-
main to be, as there have already been, many trials
and afflictions, which originate not in the divine will ;
for it is ftill a truth, that our greateft enemies are
thofe of our own houfes, and that to endeavour to
fubdue thefe, is our indifpeniable duty : but oh !
what Strokes are in wifdom administered to us, to
deftroy that life which hath no existence in the di-
vine purity •, and except we be faithful unto tliis
death, we can with no" probability look for the crown
immortal. We have frequently had to recur to the
moving caufe of this journey, and, as an addition.- [
trial, found the feeling fenfe of that withdrawn from
us j but all thele things teach us where to place
our prefent dependance •, and notwithstanding dil-
penfations thus painful have been our portion, we
have great caufe, thankfully to commemorate the blef-
fings of the divine and bountiful hand, which hath
been Strength in our weaknefs, riches in our
poverty, and a prefent helper in the needful time \
and hath refrefhed our drooping fpirits, infomuch
that, with alacrity of heart, we have purfued the
path caSt up for us, and have been favoured to fee
the great neceffity of paffing frequently through the
furnace •, and oh ! faith my heart, that I may be
The LIFE of
willing to dcfcend again and again, till lie whole in-
ile arm fuftaineth Ui> there, is pleafed to fay, " it
:: enough."
" We have now finifhed, for what we
know, our engagement at Warrington. We wound
up all in this family laft evening ; but oh what a
was yefterday ! my companion's fituation and
e were very different, though both trying; and
more fo, becaufe we were not alike led; but
frill there is a fecrel truft, that we were both in our
es. The meeting was held r.t Penketh, and
tg the preparative meeting, was very large. The
firft meeting was fo low and painful in the forepart,
that I was glad fecretly to oiler myfelf to do any thing,
if light might but fhine upon my dwelling. In this fitu-
l, I foon law that we had nothing to do in that
fitting; but it feeincd as if I heard a voice, " vifit
the men and women when feparated, for they re-
quire different food." The i :e was, I thou
i.s that I earneftly defired to be preferved
. ever hard it might be to the creature,
a worfe ftate fhould befal me. When the n
jiarted, I juft companion, to feel if
it might not be b it to I i the men's meeting :
her reply was, " 11. fcen nothing of it, but
would I with me." This greatly increafed the bur-
den that was upon my mind, but remembering my
:it view and requcft, I durft not, after all the
I i : .d at the divine hand, in our
I \iiit, refufe a compliance with this
intui □ 1 finding I had a little firength,
that, to become fiill mo:
SARAH GRUBB. 37
fpec"tacle to angels and to men, than before in this
place. — I believe I had my companion's fympathy,
but me faid fhe had nothing to do ; which I own, fo
difcouraged me, with the painful apprehension that I
had been out of my place, led by an unfanctiiied zeal,
or, at leaft, had fo imprudently adminiftered the
right thing, that I had already done more harm
than good ; fo that, though there was a covering of
good over the women's meeting, and a little ability
to relieve my own mind at leaft, I fo loft faith, and
gave way fo much, to thinking myfelf quite fpent
and exhaufted, that I managed to bring my load
away with me ; which, added to the mortifying re-
membrance of what I had done, nearly funk me
for a time into the deepeft diftrefs. But by endea-
vouring to keep it to myfelf, (my greateft difcourage-
ments however) and to recur to what I appre-
hended, was the moving caufe of my doing and leav-
ing undone, there enfued a little quietnefs, and a
fmall, but comfortable evidence, that the offering of
obedience, as far as it had been made, was accept-
able ; and that what was omitted, was viewed with
divine, compaffionate regard to the weaknef?, and
not wilfulnefs, of my poor depreffed mind. And
notwithstanding we had three fittings afterwards,
and my body almoft as ill as I thought it could be,
to bear up, yet there felt to me full as much
Strength and life, as I have found before in this
place ; and this morning I feel fo refrefhed with
the foregoing, and a good night's reft, that I don't
know that I have a complaint of any fort ; only I
could wifh for a little more clearnefs reflecting forne
38 The L I F E of
approaching days. Thus I comfortably and thank-
fully experience, that though ibrrow has come for a
long night in this place, joy lprings in the morning.
When the fun of righteoui'neis, in any degree,
arifes, and the mind feels its refrelhing influence,
how does it encourage to prefs forward, and to think
nothing too hard to fubmit to, for this excellent ap-
pearance ! but how ready, like the diiciplcs, are we
to folicit that our tabernacles mav be built here, and
we not defcend into the lower parts of the earth
again, there to be covered with its bars, and feel
ourfelves as at the bottom of the mountains ; though
it is from thence, we are led to look for a better
habitation, and to labour that the pure life may
arife, and we be favoured to dwell with it, though
feldom in a ftate of dominion, remembering for our
inftruc"tion, that Aaron the great high-priefr, was
permitted to enter into the holy of holies but once a
■ ir, for his common fervke was in the tabernacle.
— I cannot but look upon this morning, which feels
pleafanter than many, to be perhaps the opening of
another tribulating day ; for it does not appear 3
time for fuch as arc, in the fmalleft degree, able to
be baptized into the prefent ftate of the church, to
cat much pleafant bread : but I wifh I was more
preferved from thole infirmities of darkening roun-
fcl, Sec. in times of proving, when a gulf feems to
open for prefent deftruc"tion. Oh what a trial, or
trials of this fort have we had in this place ! but I
uifh to forget thefe toils, and rather feck for greater
wifdom to bear the future. It is marvellous to me,
how things arc brought about, that we have had
SARAH GRUBB. 39
views of, but no probability of being effected ; and
particularly with refpect to this monthly meeting,
which I thought I faw, before we fet off from home,
and often wondered when we were leaving Lan-
cafhire, how fuch things could be ? and fometimes,
on that account, was ready to call all in queftion ;
finding many fuch caufes of discouragement, which
now feem gradually removing."
Liverpool, 10th of id month) 1 78 1.
« The fellowfhip and tendernefs of our
friends was never more defirable, than in thefe days
of deep probation and instruction. Wonders are
indeed yet manifested in the deeps, where, finding
the demonstration of the fpirit and power, even my
Strong heart has, to my own admiration, been made
willing to receive the bittereft of cups \ and all that
is within me, has bowed and done obeifance to him,
before whom I have had daily and piercingly to
abhor myfelf ; under renewed, powerful, evidences,
that without the frequent administration of the holy
GhoSt and Sire, and repeatedly deScending to the
warning pool, there is no offering an acceptable
Sacrifice •, and that this muft be a diSpenSation for
life, if ever any offering is found to be without
blemifli, which I Sear it never will j but iS preServed
with Spiritual fight, and a necefTary jealouSy over my-
felf, I Shall, I truSt, So far deem mySelf bleffed. — How
are Such as move in this line to be pitied ! their
Standing cannot be better deScribed, than as being
on a Sea of glafs, mingled with fire. But I would
not Say any thing to diScourage, nor would I wifh
-40 The LIFE of
to be like the evil fpies ; therefore may add, that
from what I have fecn of the good land, attainable
at times in this work, it is well worth our preffing
after, and its fruit is ib pleafant, that it amply re-
frefhes the weary traveller. I could, yefterday morn-
ing, fet my feal to the truth of this ; but alas !
the fcene then has, fince changed much. "We were
at the monthly meeting at Hartfhaw to day, for
which we have both caufe to be thankful ; Hot
becaufe the food was pleafant, but bccaule it was,
we truft, wholcfomc ; and this evening we are come
to this place, to which we fet off in the bitter
of our fpirits. It looks indeed often to my n'ind,
as if a lingular vifitation is reriewedly extended to
our fociety; but there is a painful fear, that the day
will pafs over the heads of many: yet, with it, a
hope fprings, that there are others who will be
purified, tried, and made white."
) ori t 3<7 of 3a? nionth, 178 I.
u Many of our late tribulations appear to
mi-, ni"re and more, to Lave been in the order
of divine wifdom ; and fuch as have more evidently
arifen from our unwillingnefs to fubmit to the hum-
bling power of the 1 ".ill furely be profitably
remembered by us, and gradually work that pati<
and pure reiignation oi heart, which cm enable us,
in holy confidence, to r . count it all joy,
when we fall into divers temptations and tribula-
tions, for the trial and refinement of our faith i:i
him, who was made ; 'gh fullering.
My mi , i;i general, lince my return home,
SARAH G R U B B. 41
felt a ftate of deep proftration, and humble gratitude
to that all-ruling power, which hath, I fully believe,
helped us in our late engagements, and would more
eminently have done it, if our minds had borne a
greater fimilarity to the paffive clay. Great in-
ftrudtion arifes in the commemoration of thefe
things. To feel our minds centred in a quiet fub-
mimbn to the prefent allotment, now we are return-
ed, and a willingnefs either to do or fuffer, appears
the moft defirable ftate for us, and is what I hope
thou largely experienceft."
In the twelfth month 1781, with the approbation
of the monthly meeting, fhe was concerned in a
religious vifit, to a part of the families within the
monthly meeting of Owftwick and Cave. Although
her fteppings along in this fervice, were attended
with clofe trials, yet fhe was enabled to perform it,
with a degree of peace and fatisfadtion ; which ap-
pears from her own expreffions on this occafion :
" We have got along as well as we could have look-
ed for, confidering the prevailing declenfion and
weaknefs of the prefent day; which in thefe, as
well as in many other places, widely fpread them-
felves. Deep fufFering, and a painful exercife of
mind, are often our lot ; but being, I truft, in a
good degree refigned thereto, they are, at times
fucceeded with a calm, and a little evidence,
that the fervant is not wholly difunited from the
mafter."
She was engaged, in the ift month 1782, in a
vifit to fome families, which had not been vifited
42 | The LIFE of
by the friends who had lately been concerned in
a family-vifit in that quarter. At the conclufion
of this viflt, (he remarks as follows, " It was, I
think, the molt trying fervice of the kind that
I ever had any fenfe of; the general unfeeling-
neU and impenetrablenefs of the vifited, rendered
the labour almoft without hope. So greatly departed
are many amongft us, from the virtue of hea-
venly dew, that it is now deemed an unnecciTary
attainment."
SARAH G R U B B. 43
CHAP. II.
Her Marriage — and Journey into Scotland} Cumber'
land, &c>
IN the 4th month 1782, fhe was married to our
friend Robert Grubb, of Clonmel in Ireland,
who had for forne time refided at York ; to whom
fhe was a faithful and tender companion, and a
fympathizing, ftrengthening helpmeet, in the va-
rious probations of their fpiritual pilgrimage. On
this fubject, the following inftructive letter, written
fome months afterwards, appears to be worthy of
infertion."
" It was an awful thing to me, to enter
into this new fphere. I am now blefTed with all,
and more than I had any right to afk for in it. I
wifh to number thefe bleffings, and approve myfelf
worthy of them. This belief ever accompanies my
mind, that if we wreft not ourfelves out of the di-
vine hand, whofe fatherly care and protection is over
us, our cup of life will be fo blended, as to prevent
our fitting down in outward enjoyments. Few and
fleeting are the days of our pilgrimage ; and every
additional experience confirms the fentiment, that
our folid fatisfaction depends not on our pofTeffing all
that the unmortified part in us can defire ; for there
ftill remains, in the immortal part, a void, which
44 The LIFE of
immortal fubftance only, can fatisfy. To have this
fupplied with wholefome food, and every other gra-
tification to ftand fubordinate thereto, is the prefent
fecret breathing of my fpirit : that fo, the blelling
of prefervation may attend us, and patience have
its perfect work, tiki the burning of the Lord's day
hath done its office, and a quiet centre in cvcilaft-
ing repofe, is obtained."
About two weeks after this event, fhe entered on a
religious vifit to friends in Scotland, in company
with her friend Mary Proud ; having prcvioufly ob-
tained a certificate of concurrence from the monthly
meeting. This concern had, for many months,
dwelt frequently on her mind, and had now ma-
tured fo, that fhe thought it her duty to engage in it,
at this time. Her feelings under the view of it,
and in the profpecl: of her marriage, with her re-
fignation to the fervice, and defires for divine pre-
fervation and direction ; are, in fome meafure, fet
forth, by the following extracts from fome of her
letters, written on thofe occafions. — " I cannot be
on the verge of fuch important, and fome new, con-
cerns, without feeling deep anxiety, and many fears :
my mind is often fo deeply Oppreffed with my pre-
fent load, that I feci continually bowed down under
it, and not very fit for this employ. The mind and
body feldom fuffer alone, and it is comfortable to
believe, that they are not intended to be always, or
long companions. I have not been very well of late,
which is not to be wonderc.1 at, nor is it worth
much attention."
SARAH GRUBB. 45
" The fentiment thou drops refpecting
Scotland, is fo exactly fimilar to my own, that it
was like a little ftrength handed in the time of
need ; and I greatly wifh, if the thing be proved to
be right, to be enabled to make a facrifke of every
felfiih inclination j that my offerings and prayers, in
this one ftep, may be pure and acceptable to Him who
fees in fecret. But I often feelingly remember a
faying of M. Peifley's, that fhe was " torn as between
heaven and earth •" and it many times is matter of
doubt, in which I fhall centre. I have as much
nature as moft, and as great an aptnefs to cover
nryfelf with it, and live upon it ; and though to be
thus drawn from fuch a fource, is caufe of thank-
fulnefs, yet it feems like the pangs of death, and I
fometimes query, whether my natural body will not
fall under the operation. Was it not for, now and
then, experiencing my ftrength a little renewed,
and my mind clothed with the quietnefs of that
habitation, which the arrows of the archers cannot
penetrate, I muft fall to the oppofition of the enemy
in myfelf •, but when the arm of power is felt to be
near, then it is, that we rejoice in the means of our
falvation."
" There is ftill a fecret belief, that the
growth and cultivation of my views reflecting a
northern journey, were, by that hand, from which
I have apprehended my moft important engagements
have proceeded ; and though it has, for many
months, dwelt frequently upon my mind, yet I
cherifhed a belief, that it was very far off; till the
profpect of fettling in a new line of life drew nearer,
46 The LIFE oi
and then, this diftant view as fa ft approached. It
was afrefh revived when I wrote to thee la ft j but
I w idled to try it flill a little longer, if, in the kind*
nei's of Him, who knows my great uniitnefs for an
engagement ib important, my resignation to it might
be an acceptable facrifice. Inftead of this, the
weight increaied, and I found, on complying with
Come early proceedings in another affair, that my
peace materially depended, on having thee inform-
ed of what I had in view ; that thereby this concern
might keep pace with the other, and I attend to
what may appear to be my own bufmefs, no fur-
ther, than refignation to a fuperior fervice was expe-
rienced. My dear friend knows the ncceffity of an
entire furrender of ourielves, to what appears, in
the pointings of duty, to be our proper bufinefs, and
of keeping our eye as Readily to that as we can ;
that ib, by its finglenefs, we may have light fuffi-
cicnt for the work of our day. And as, without
this quiet attention, we are often led into doubts,
fears, and many realbnings, fo we arc frequently
found to require provings of mind, ftrippings, and
many baptifms, in order to lit us for the ft/ate, in
which alone there is fafety •, a truly humble, de-
pendant ftate, reduced of ourfelves, and lecking
it honour) which cometh from God only. It is
with great awfulncis I look at the work before
US, and under a deep fenfe, how unable we are of
ourfelves, at all to help forward the caufe, wherein
we defil . to be engaged, or to bring honour to
that name (either amonglt us as a fociety, or thofe
who are not of our fold) to which the nations may
SARAH GRUI3B. 47
yet be ieen to gather. It is defirable, however,
that our dwelling may be deep, that the wifdom
and inftruction we receive, may, (though finall) be
pure ; that if we venture to move, the cloud may
ienfibly be taken oft* the tabernacle, and we careful
to follow the appointed guide, for our days and
nights, and be favoured, in this day of deep dege-
neracy, with an evidence, that we have done what
we could."
The following is an account of her journey
through Scotland, &c. taken from a fhort journal
written by herfelf, and found amongft her papers.
« The twentieth of the fourth month,
1782, I left York, with my friend M. Proud, for
the yearly meeting at Edinburgh, intending from
thence, to vifit the friends in Scotland, Cumberland,
&c. We were at Thirfk on firft day, the twenty
firft, where we fenfibly felt the pure life of religi-
on to be at a low ebb, though the profeflbrs there-
of are numerous ; and fuch as have been anointed
for, and employed in, the Lord's work, dwell
amongft them. But theie being only ftandard-bear-
ers, whilft they continue exercifed in the Lamb's
war, and prove their loyalty to the King of kings,
by their careful attention to his pointings, and
humble walking before him, have need to live under
an awful fenfe of the importance of that fervice, to
which they are called : that fo, their fpirits may be
kept favoury, their converfation, likewife, feafoned
with the heavenly fait, miniftering grace to thofe
that hear. For want of the Lord's fervants, or thofe
4 S The LIFE oi
in the forcmoft ranks of the people, being thus
preferred near th.it power, in which their life and
their ftrength confift, great declenfion lias happen-
ed t ) as, .<> a people ; and thole, who have been
lookit part of religion in them,
have, inftead of find.ii influence, received, by
the light: the conduct of fuch, a warrant for
br own propeniiti I/nder the confideration'
, I was affected, and feeling the
aptnels of my difpofition to yield to the like in-
firmities, I was led, ret -, to beg for ftrength.
N twit! we had to fuller with the feed in
•, ami to beheld the breaches which are
ide as in the walls of the roval city, yet, a renew-
ed vifitation was extended i pecially to
the youth; and our minds ¥ Little encouraged
: prefs d in the work before us, under a
divine I I \l. The next da;- . * left
Think, and my huiband, .who had accompanied us
far, w< few miles further on this
d rne; ; parted, my mind fell
coveri I >veto replcnilh it, with faith and
iencc •, . from a 11: ,1
could thankfully fay, with a , " I
have left all to And v.- ck r a renew-
ed t , ai l > » my • wn
nnfitnefs for the fen cfore me, with< juent
bapi • thereof,
I • i u t bibm • i. tions,
refj Chrift, and
that office : and thus, I
was led •.-.... t who had called is
SARAH G R U B B. 49
faithful, and his grace is fufficient for us, as our de-
pendance is placed thereon, and all confidence in
ourfelves removed. We attended a meeting on
third day, and had, painfully, to feel the ftate of
things amongft them ; and it appeared clear to my
mind, that the work was in the Lord's hands,
and that he will, in his own time, make manifeft the
hidden things of darknefs ; when thofe that retain
a little life amongft them, will be enabled to renew
their ftrength, and fliew themfelves on the Lord's
fide, though, their numbers mav be few. We were
favoured in fome degree, to relieve our own minds,
and left them that afternoon.
The next day we were at a meeting which, for
fome time, was a painful fitting, under a fenfe that
the leaders of the people caufed them to err, and
were crying, « the word of the Lord," when the
Lord had not fent them. But after experiencing
fomething of the baptifm unto death, with our
holy High Prieft, we were favoured to feel the re-
furrecYion of life ; in which, judgment was placed
on the head of the tranfgreiling nature, and the
minds that were defirous to know fomething of the
work of religion for themfelves, were pointed to the
means of redemption from fin. From thence we
went to Newcaftle, and were at their week-day
meeting on fifth day, where truth, meafurably, pre-
vailed. On fixth and feventh days, being the
twenty-fixth and twenty-feventh of the month, we
travelled from Newcaftle to Kelfo, and were at
their meetings on firft day, which are very fmall
D
50 The LIFE o f
of friends, but many others came in, efpecially iu
the afternoon; and though, at firft, the) appeared
rude and ignorant, yet the power of truth, in which
the authority is felt, roie fo into dominion, that it be-
came a iblemn opportunity. And thus we had frefh
caufe to obferve, that it is only by divine ftrength,
that we can run through a troop, or leap over tiie
walls of oppoiition. On l'econd day, we went to
Edinburgh, where, on third we refted, and on fourth
and fifth attended the yearly meeting, which m
but fmall, there being very few members of fociety
of that nation then prefent. There were fevcral,
who, through neglect of christian difcipline, think
they have a claim to the fociety, as being the otf-
fpring of friends ; others were like the Philiftines
in whole hands the ark of the teltimony is fallen,
and eiteemed by them as a contemptible thing ;
there were alfo prefent a number of ftudents from
diftant parts, whofe parents are not only members
of fociety, but lome of them ufeful therein. On
account of all thefe, our minds were painfully exer-
cifed : and notwithftanding the public meetings were
large, and owned with divine favour, in covering
thefe affemblies with a degree of holy awe, and the
minds of fomc of Ids fervants with gofpel power
and authority, to declare the wav of life and fal-
in: yet through all, the fenfe of deep, hidden,
well us flagrant corruption, fo imprefied my
mind, that I was led to believe, truth will never
profper in this place, nor the excellency of it ap-
unveiled, till, not only the branches of the cor-
rupt tree are cut oil, but the lug up that the
SARAH GRUBB. 51
remembrance thereof may rot -, and then, there is
a hope that the prefent planting may get watere 1
the ground renewedly cultivated, and fruits appear
to the praife of the great Hufbandman. Deep dif-
couragement attends the Lord's exercifed fervants
in this day, when labour is added to labour, bap-
tifm to baptifm, for thofe that are dead in trefpaiTes
and fins, and for thofe that are unacquainted, in
their own experience, with the glad tidings of the
gofpel •, fo that, if they were not at times refrefhed
with a little bread handed in fecret, and their evi-
dence confirmed, that the foundation of God Hands
fure, having this feal that the Lord knows them that
are his, they would be ready to faint in the work,
and to fhrink in the day of battle, when the arrows
of the archers furround, and the fpirits of the peo-
ple are oppofing found doctrine, and crying " pro-
phely unto us fmooth things." But I have had fre-
quently of late, under thefe difcouraging views, to
remember the prophet when he mournfully exclaim-
ed ; "I have laboured in vain, and ipent my
ftrength for nought j" yet recoilecling himlelf in
holy confidence in, and intereft with, inviiible and
divine juftice, he added, " but furely my judgment is
with the Lord, and my work with my God." From
fome neceffary baptifms of mind, and renewed evi-
dences that this is enough for any true minifter of
the gofpel to defire, I have been led awfully and
humbly to implore increasing ftrength and ability,
to walk before that gracious eye that fees in fecret,
without fceking the praife, or regarding the cenfure
D 2
--: The LIFE <Jf
who arc net circumcifed i: and ears,
innot difcern, or , found uncon-
words, but want th fual wifdom and
depraved the di\inations of
.^probation of th an
ex r, clofc, anJ fear. opportunity on
evening (after : rigi v..
O". th thole under profeffion with us, and j
: r .
err.ln. _d, and a powerful c nded,
to dole in ae prefer* : ; cn and day of
ation that is offered ; whe: would be re-
.•med from that wifdom which tes them
from • re fear of God, and the tree of immor-
. life ; and alio preferred from going down to
the chambers of death, by fading in with tin
.res and j pollutions, with which the un-
y of our fouls i- g to entrap and
us. i , at
that time, under the power of truth ; and he who
thus to influence their alone
able to profper the work - morning
- a rerr pelting
r cduc:r -
I this place ; ■ .
all con. , outhal-
.)les of innJelity which
arc - perfo: :ly
ig their ftudici, have
•li
!
Qjl- ■ feared, bee >me fo much
SARAH G R U B B. 5.3
we went to Kirkaldie, (by Queen's Ferry) where we
had a meeting with the town's people, fome of whom
behaved well, the glad tidings of the gofpel were
preached ; and a fatisfa&ory meeting it was. From
hence we went that evening one flage further, and
purpoled next day for Montrole, forty-nine miles.
The fir ft ftage in the morning was to C.oupar iq
Fife, where we felt a considerable opennefs for a
meeting, but having too much, in our own inclinati-
on, fixed our work for this day, we put by this
fimple feeling, and thought that, if way opened:, we
would give up to it in our return. A few hours
convinced us that our plans were fruftrated -, for
when we arrived at Dundee Ferry, we found our-
felves about half an hour too late for the tide, fo that
our horfes could not be taken over till about that
time in the evening, at which we fhould have been
there, had we ftaid and had a meeting at Coupar in
Fife. From Dundee we went to Aberbrothick,
which we left next morning for Montrofe, where we
had a meeting in the evening with the town's peo-
wounded, as to endanger their going halting all their
days. It is of unfpeakable importance for parents and
guardians folidly to confider, in their diipofal of youth,
the danger not only of this, but of every other expofed
fituation in life. No profeffional advantages, or quali-
fications whatever, can be put in competition with the
lofs or injury of that pure faith and principle, which is
our unerring guide, our fupport and comfort through
time.
I> 3
The LIFE of
pie, who behaved well, and to whom divine regard
■
From hence we went to Inverbervy, a little fea-
port I i Montroie and leen. litre we
nd we could not get away, without a meeting
the town's people, which was readily provid-
ed for, end a very folid cor. . v.-hofe
minds feemed like the good ground culti\ated by
; hand, for the reception of the i-ied of the
hd. Divine aid was eminentiy extended to
u?, and to the people, and we were led, publi
to return the gratitude of our hearts to
c him, and who, in
rl fc favcured opportunities, is
d to lead his poor, weak, fervants,
as frc mountain, and from tafting the
::n? wine of the kingdom, into the wilderneis ;
r, to experience
y of tt -, and the power of
• ; that fo, their own inability may be
. • ir humble confidence renewed in the
inn, they drawn from having any confidence
in • h, and tav t to live bv bread alone.
hence we proceeded to Stonehaven, and fat
. whom the life of re-
We wci.t to Aberdeen that even-
time with the friends
The fame afternoon ached Old-mel-
m, an a meeting with them, where
e coukl not get away without fitting
and having a public meeting with
I about the fame
S A R A H GRUB B. $5
"day, and had a fatisfactcry meeting with the people
in the evening. We found things very low amou
the friends, but a comfortable hope, that of I
th would be railed up fuch as would be qnalified
to fupport the caufe of truth, which is ready to fall
in the ftreets, and the principles thereof almoft f . -
gotten by thofe that profefs them, particularly in
parting from the plain language, and iofing the di -
tinguilhing marks of their profeffion ; where',
crois is evaded, and the people's minds become likje
the high-way ground. We ftnifhed the vifit to the
families at Kilmuck, and went from thence on fe-
venth day evening for Aberdeen, and ftaid there
the next day. My companion attended the meet-
ings, where ihe had good fervice, and many people
of the town came in. I had been unwell for fome
time before with pain in my face and teeth, which
had now fo increafed upon me, with frefh cold,
that, feeling no particular draft to the friends or peo-
ple, and fcarce being fit to move, I ftaid in the
houfe that dav, in order to ufe fome means for reco-
very, which were not ineffectual, and next morning
we fet forward for Urie. Here the friends of Stone-
haven met us, but it was a painful opportunity, and.
little of the divine life to be felt. We reached.
Montrofe in the evening, and next day went to
Aberbrothick, where we ufed fome means to obtain
a meeting, but they not been effectual, we were
eafy to leave the place ; and went forward, without
any other meeting in the way, to Edinburgh, where
we arrived on f.fth dav evening, the fifteenth of the
D 4
5* The L I F E of
month '. Th« next evening we reached Kellb, and
Morpeth on the feventeenth, from whence we went
next morning to Newcaftle to breakfaft, and attend*
»..: both their meetings; in which we had deep,
* From Aberbrothick (be writes thus to a friend :
" The minds of many of the people in this land teem
preparing, like the good ground, to receive, in child-
like fimplicity, the ingrafted word ; and though it may
re fruit- r, yet if thole that come this
, follow the fimple openings of truth, in their (cop-
pings ;.'. places where tin re arc no friends, anil get
v.d into the ltates of the ; ' , it appears clear
to us, that fuch will be inftxumental in helping forward
the light of the perfecl day of the gofpel, which has
dawned in many of thefe parts ; but it is under prefent
chaftifement for neglect of duty, that I acknowledge
we have not fumciently trod this path. One materia]
omiflion tlie week before laft, lias laid a foundation for
repentance through this land, it' not through time, unl
our Mailer fometime fends us again to pay debt and in-
ert; becaufe, from that one neglect, has proceeded
many entanglements, and preventions of doing right.
We have great caufe to believe and ackn< ■, that
the divine aid which hath been afforded] particularly in
land, hath been gr^at ; and though it may have
fly on account of the people, yet gratitude
.'a covered our minds tor it, and it occallons us to
. re deeply any want of faithfulnei
The following letters were written a few days after
1 ■■ | out of Scotland.
" It is a favour when "we arc at liberty to feel one
r, in the cementing fond of pure love and un-
fellowfhip ; for, really, in joui
I I. our minds arc often fo (hipped ol is like
; feeling a', it' we belong to any
SARAH G R U B B. 5?
fearching, but honeft labour ; and a degree of quie-
tude, refignation, and ferenity of mind, clofed the
day. The next day we retted, and on third were at
Shields, fourth at Sunderland, fifth at Benfieldfide,
body, or have any outward fource of comfort, the
ftate of the pelican in the wildernefs feems moft fimilar
to ours ; and, no doubt, for wife ends, our minds are
thus clothed with abftractednefs, and feparated from do-
meftic bleffings : for om eye then being fmgle, and we
confiderinp- ourfelves fervants that have need to watch
o
every pointing of the Mafter, we are in the greater
fitnefs to receive that divine light, in which, and by
which only, every fervice in the church can be right-
ly accomplifhed."
" We are convinced it is right for thofe who
go into Scotland, to go without plans, or fixed times for
things, and limply to attend, day by day, to the open-
ings of truth, giving up their time freely, and consider-
ing themfelves in no refpecl their own, Such as thus
faithfully vifit Scotland, and get deep enough in their
minds to bring up fuch weapons as will penetrate the
minds of the people, and reach the divine life, rather
than aim merely at convincing the judgment, will have,
I am perfuaded, great fervice in that land, and find the
free dedication of their time to be an acceptable facri-
fice."
" We have now got as into our own camp, where
clofe painful labour is often our lot ; which being almoft
continual, and without apparent effects, Ave are fome-
times ready to fhrink from the work, and turn our faces
homeward, ccnfidering ourfelves, in every fenfe of the
word, unprofitable fervants. But I have thus far found,
that when we have been fo reduced, as hath been the cafe,
that we durfr not look for great things, divine ftrength
hath been meft adminiftered, and the biefhr.gs that
D c
58 The L I F E of
iixth at Ncwbiggin, feventh at Allondale, firft at
Aldlton, and fccond at Cornwood : at all which,
the effects of an inattention to the unerring i pi—
ritual guide, were deeply felt by us ; and, from
place to place, our fpirits were pained in viewing the
declenfion and defolation which have fpread them-
felves, even amongft the foremoft claffes of the peo-
ple j fo that fome of thofe who have appeared as
fhepherds over the flock, have been overtaken there-
with, fmitten by the hand of the enemy, and prov-
ed their difqunlifkation for fervice ; whereby many
that knew not the fure foundation, but whofe eyes
attend our thus dwelling in the deep';, have been couch-
ed under thele feelings ; and the fpirit of difcernment
. '.lo proceeded therefrom, that we have had humbly
.lniire the dealings of the divine hand, which, by
reducing his fervants, exaketh his own caufe. "When
felf is moll brought down, theie is haft anxiety about
the fruits of our labour ; they are left to die great lluf-
bandman, who caufeth the rain to defcend on the juft,
and on the unjuft ; and finely it is enough for us to ex-
perience cur meat and our drink to be an obedience to
the will of our heavenly Father: for thereby, we get
. that the world I not of, and feel ourfelves
boiind to his truth, though many may forfake it. We
are reconciled t< I i therewith, feeing with an eye of
faith, that notwithftanding the dcclcniion amongft us,
the frniting of the fhepherds, fome in being happily re-
moved fom the evil to come, and others by the hand of
the enemy, and the fcattering of the fheep, yet the pro-
mi fe will be fu upon the little ones: and thefe
kecy their Jm -giver, the; (kail with
cperiencc a victor).'
SARAH GRUBB. 59
were fixt upon man, and whole walking was circum-
fcribed by the appearance of others, have been fcal-
tered from the place of true feeding, and thus want
an anchor to their fouls in the time of trial. This
the fpirit of truth would have amply fupplied, had
it been made the object of their refearches, inftead
of the honour, the wifdom, and the complicated
gratifications of man in his depraved ftate. But in
the courfe of thefe meetings, particularly at New-
biggin, Aliondale, and Cornwood, we felt an evi-
dence that the divine promife will be fulfilled upon
the little ones, and that there are of this number,
who, if they keep faithful under the preparing hand,
will be railed up to be ftandard-bearers in the work
and houle of their God. But oh the danger cf
even thefe, that have been feveral times dipt as in
Jordan, not abiding the day of further trial, where-
in nothing but the pure gold will ftand :, becaufe
the fiery baptifm of the fpirit, is fo fuperior to every
thing but what is of its own durable nature, that
whatever has been mixed with it muft, in this tefr,
be fwept away ; that the veffel which is formed of
the refidue, may be fo pure as to be entitled to the
infcription of, "holinefs unto the Lord." As it is
for want of this patient dedication of heart to the
operation of truth, that many vefiels amongft us
have been little better than founding brais or tink-
ling cymbals to the people, having no author;.
from that of which they fpoke, nor discovering an
alliance to the mafter by following his holy pattern, my
heart has been led fervently to implore for myfelf,
and for a number of thefe, to whom I felt uni: ;
60 The LIFE of
in our heavenly Father's love, that whatsoever may
lx- the fufferings of the prefent Jay, and howfoever
le may fall on one hand, and another on another,
our eye may be fixed on the Roek of our ltrcngth,
and our faith Co replenished, that though the feet
may be placed as in the very bottom of Jordan, we may
not flinch therefrom, nor leek an caller path than
t it which the wreftling feed of Jacob have ever
trod ; nor have any greater joy than to be united by
an exercife of fpirit to our holy Head, whether in
fuffering or in rejoicing. We had, in all thefe places,
the renewed afliftance of that fpirit which helpeth
our infirmities, teachcth how to pray and travail in
fpirit, and how to minifter to the ftates of the peo-
ple ; whereby fome of the hidden things of dark-
nefs were fearched out, the ftrayed of the flock
invited to the fold, and the little travailing remnant
were encouraged to go forward on their way. We
had a uniting feafon at Corn wood, in that pure
fellowfhip of fpirit, which fnpplieth every member
in the body with frefh vigour to perform its func-
tion. — From hence, with our friends M. J. and
J. W. we went to a meeting in Cumberland : it was a
time of deep exercife of mind, but in faith fn lm u
thereto, the power of truth rofe into dominion, and
we had rcafon to hope it was a profitable time to
divers. We left this place, and in the afternoon
were at another meeting, whkh was, for a time,
1 i fcriptionj but by .an humble wait-
that the people W( I with
try, that the ark was taken into
rcumcifed, and tl. re was
SARAH GRUBB. 61
a number who loved to have it fo. The power and
authority of truth arofe, by which we were enabled
to place judgment on that fpirit, which was fceking
to fupport the teftimony with unfanclificd hands,
and to have their honour from men, forgetting that
holy anointing and preparation of heart, whereby
the Lord becomes fandtified in all thofe that draw
nigh unto him, and the bread that he gives them to
break receives a bleffing upon it, in that it fhall not
be void, but prove a vifitation of his love to thofe
to whom it is fent, whether they will hear or for-
bear. Here we had afrefh to obferve, that where
minifters maintain their inward exercife, and keep
near to their gifts, the fpirit of true difcernment,
which fearcheth all things, is not wanting to prove,
from the line in which it leads them, the rectitude
of their miniftry to the living and wife in heart ;
who judge not by the fight of the eye, or the
hearing of the ear, but by the unerring evidence of
truth, which remains to be the favour of life unto
life. Our minds were thankful, under the frefh
{en{e of divine favour and ftrength, in being found
worthy to fuffer with the fuffering feed, and with
the little remnant that are thus exercifed, and who
belong to this meeting : to ; thefe, though they are
weak, the bread of encouragement was broken.
Next morning we fet forward, and on our way,
I received an account from my hufband who was
then in London, of the death of his father, and
that he purpofed going over with the friends who
had attended the yearly meeting, to accompany his
fifter, and to pay 'a vifit to his mother and friends,
5s The LIFE of
on this affecting occafion ; reafonswith which my Judg-
ment led me to comr'.j } though I felt myfelf deeply
afie&ed witii fo unexpected a circumftance j and
having re< t< iveying I rrowful intelli-
i ence on various fu- , 1 was ready, w : fh the ad-
ditional concern of the important I in which
v.\ were engaged, to fink under the general predure
of my mind. Birr, in this Situation, I had freih
caufe to recur to that divine and invrfible arm
which drew me out ; and in the feeling whereof I
could then fay, with a degree of holy confidence,
" Lord I have left ail to follow thee," to that ftati-
on into which I apprehended myfelf called, thou
but a child, and to nothing fhort cf a difeiple of
the Lamb, to fight under his banner, and to prefer
his work to every gratification or concern of my
own. I found it was an cafy thing to fay, I v
follow thee whercfoever thou leadeft ; but when our
fidelity is tried with crofs occurrences in our natural
feelings, united to the frefh painful fenfe, that
the foxes have holes, &C. then are we ready to
fhrink, and defire that the cup may pafs from us,
forgetting that all muft be left to the great Difpofer
of all things-, that fo, with holy confidence, our
rcfolutions may be, n though thou flay me, yet
will I truft in thee." Under this difpenfation,
I was afrefh ftripped, and became a fuppliant at
wifdom's gate ; where, I found, I had nothing to
receive for my help, but a patient fubmiffion to the
divine will, and renewed ftrcngth, fimply and
fingly, to wait, not only refpc6ting circumftanr
kg to my facial concerns 3 but in the line of
SARAH G R U E B. 63
my religious duty, and in the exercife of the gift •, fee-
ing that it is only when the eye is fmgle, that the
body is full of light. We attended the next meet-
in o-, which for a time was inexpi effibly dark and
painful ; but being engaged fervently to travail for
the refurrection of life, we had renewed!/ to ac-
knowledge, that our labours were blfeffedj and
ftrength afforded for that time, to awaken a num-
ber from a ftate of fpiritual death, and to fhew
them the deplorable fituations they wuc in. We
proceeded to another meeting, and on i; it day at-
tended both the meetings there j in the [irft 6f v'hich
we were enabled to relieve our mi Ffbth the
weight which, in the forepart, der ■ sffeSfed us,
and it was a time of renewed favo \n\ Numbers
will not hear either the Mafter or ti fervant when
found doctrine is delivered unto them : but the
moft tine gold becoming changed, and they remem-
bering fomething of the work of the Refiner, but
not keeping under it themfelves, are making fome,-
what for the people which is fpecious, and feeds
their itching ears, but which at the fame time is
putting death into the pot : fo that for want of
thofe that hear recurring to the witnefs for God,
the true fpirit of prophecy, the feed of the king-
dom becomes ftifled, and total infenfibility enfues ;
a ftate over which, in this county, we had deeply to
mourn. The meeting in the afternoon was filent,
and our minds prtierved in great resignation. On
3d clay following ». went to Moorhoufe and Kirk-
bride, on 4th at Wigton and Bolton, on 5th at
Berkfoot and at Maryport, and on 6th at Ailonby
6* ThlLIFEof
and Broughton. The clofcnefs of the exercife in
meetings, and in travelling, had by this time fen-
iibly affected or reduced our ftrength and fpiritl ;
but retting on 7th day with a friend helped to re-
ftore us a little : yet the wounded and captivated
Hate of us as a people, and especially in this county,
renders a little prefent reft, like the eating of the
pafTover, with bitter herbs ; for how can the fer-
vant rejoice where the Mafter reigns not ! On
1 ft day we fat with the friends at Pardlhaw, where
divine regard was renewedly extended to us and to
them, in opening the book of His law, and discover-
ing the tranfgreffions of the profeiTors thereof. The
fame evening we rode to "Whitehaven, and had a
■meeting there the next day the 10th, which was
painful ; but a little opprefftd remnant were ftrength-
ened ; for which thankfulnefs ought to arife, and gra-
titude cover our fpirits, notwithstanding we, as the
poor fervants and off-fcouring of all things, are often
abafed under the fenfc of our own nothingnefs, and
of our omiffions and cornmiihons ; for on thefe
the companionate eye of the Mifter condefcends to
look, when we fee ourfelves, and are proftrate be-
fore him, under the fenfe of how liable we are to
fwerve to the right hand or to the left, from the
clear and pure openings of truth in our religious
fervices, without a clofe attention of mind thereto.
This requires a previous ftrippednefs, and baptihn
of fpirit, that our own activity may be reduced,
and fubjected to the Power that quickeneth and
giveth life, and that, Likewife, unprofitable timi-
dity and fear of man, may become fo removed,
SARAH GRUB 13. 65
that we can, with finglenefs, and. refignation, depend
folely upon the fimple revelation of the divine will.
For thoush it is needful for our refinement, and
fitnefs for fervice, to be clothed with the fenfe of
our weaknefs, and the infufficiency of our wifdom
and difcernment in the myfteries of the kingdom,
and in performing the leaft work for the fpiritual
building -, yet on this, when called to labour, our
eye fhould not be fixed, but reft, with faith, on the
invifible arm of divine power •, that being in a fitua-
tion ready to receive help from it, we may be there-
with content, and favoured with that blefling which
renders acceptable the fmalleft offering, or the bread,
that may be compared but to the barley loaf. We
went to another meeting, where things are very
low, fome of the members being fo weak as to let
fall fome of the fundamental principles of our pro-
feflion j whereby the few that are faithful are op-
prefTed with the fced } and are ready to fink under
difcouragements, and alfo with fome appearances in
the miniftry, concerning which we felt no aniwer
of life as unto life. Here we lodged at the houfe
of our valuable friends J. and B. D. who, next
day accompanied us, with fome other friends, to
Kefwick, where we had a pretty large and fatisfac-
tory meeting amongft the town's people. On fifth
day the thirteenth, we attended the week day meet-
ing, and monthly felect meeting at Greyfouthen,
where gracious condefcenfion was eminently extend-
ed to us, and to the members thereof; and we part-
ed with many of our friends on that fide, in much
affectionate fellowfhip, and fympathy with each
66 T h e L I F E o f
others' tried fituations, ariling from the deep dcekn-
lion and defolation which widely fpread over us as a
people. Next morning we rode to [fell meeting, in
a very ftormy, tempefiuous day, Co much lo, that
the friends belonging to the meeting duril not ven-
ture out, except three men, for whom, in a cold
damp meeting-houfe, we waited in our wet cloaths
thre< quarters of an hour; having no better accom-
modations for ourfelves or horfes, than a bare fiiel-
ter from the heavy rain that fell here. We hit
down with the few that came, and our guides,
ready to conclude that, under thefe circumftances,
it would be an unavailing attempt to have our minds
properly flayed ; but he who mercifully condefcends
to vifit the two or three that gather in his name,
was pleafed eminently to own us that day. I re-
membered, and had to open the paffage, " Blefied
is that fervant that watcheth, and keepeth his gar-
ment, and who, when his Lord comcth, is found
ready." It appeared to my mind that all thofe who
have enlifted under the fpiritual, unconqucred Cap-
tain, have received a mark thereof, a change of
heart, an awful covering of fpirit, a loving one
another, and means whereby fuch might ftand in
readinefs for the word of command ; and that
therefore the peculiar blclling of the divine hand
refts upon thefe faithful lcrvants, who when not actu-
ally in fervice, lb remember their office, as to h
fit, when called thereto, to ftcp into it, and move
only in that raiment, and with that armour, v/hi
the mafter gives them. Tor want of this watchful,
attentive caro, in times of withdrawing, mftnj
SARAH GRUBB, 67
amongft us, when there has been an opening for
labour, have not been found ready, nor approved
worthy, to advocate the heavenly caufe ; and thus
the warfare has not been maintained, but the battle
is retarded, Ifrael falls before his enemies, and the
accurfed thing is in the tribe of Judah. At the
clofe of this meeting, where my mind had been led
to centre to a quiet dependance on the fmalieft evi-
dence of the divine will, after fome clays of deep
probation, and frequent defection of fpirit, the
aforefaid paffage, " blefied is that fervant, &c."
powerfully revived and fpread before me, and, with
a voice intelligible to my fpiritual ear, applied it to
myfelf; which introduced fuch a calm over my
mind, and feparation from the natural feelings there-
of, as I never before experienced. Under this
fenfe, I concluded it was the laft meeting I fhould
ever be at ; that the dedication of my heart, and
fome afflictive difpenfatioris that were paft, had
proved acceptable, and that now there was no ob-
ilruction to my final diffolution ; nor an attachment
in me to any thing below : a fituation of mind fo
different from what I ufually felt, when I have
feared that the clofenefs of my connections had the
afcendency over my love, and travail of fpirit for
the caufe of truth, that I wondered at the change.
I looked towards my friends, faw fome of them in
their places, and feeling myfelf in my own, without
a cord to break, I apprehended that, in a very little
time, I fhould be gathered to that eternal habitation
of reft, whereinto I never before fo fenfibly entered,
and of which I had never fuch a foretafte. It was
68 Thf; LIFE of
nothing that elated me, my natural ideas were dor-
t, but what I experienced feemed folid fubftan-
lift] truth. After the meeting broke up, and I was
making the necefiary preparations for proceeding to
the next meeting, there was no interruption to my
mind, till riding along the road, with a freih, aw-
ful application to the Lord, and breathing that I
might not reft too much under this imprciTion, and
that if there was any other end to anl'wer than
what I had {ccn, it might be difcovered ; left by
::ig too much at an opening fo comfortable to
myfelf, I fhould be in danger of neglecting a conti-
nued excrcife of fpirit, and the fer\iee I might be
called to from place to place ; and thereby render
that which was intended a bleffing, a block in
my way in prefling after lb defirable an end as had
opened therein : thus waiting to fee further the
way caft up for me, I thought I clearly difcovered,
that it was a mark of divine regard at that time
extended, in order to fhew mc the excellent, ulti-
mate, effect of what I had had to open to others ;
and the need there was lor me to attend to it myfelf,
during the courfe of my own pilgrimage •, and alio
to remove an idea, that the ties of nature are fo in*
terwoven with my attachment to eternal excellency
and purity, that tin I ration mull be, like the
furnace being heated feven tin* 8 hotter than it had
i re been experienced. Inftead of this, I had to
behold, in humble admiration, thl works oi an al-
mighty hand in the deeps, and how, when ourhearti
are upright before him, he invilibiy v. orks our de-
liverance, by means which the unenlightened under-
SARAH G R U B B. 6 9
ftanding of. man cannot comprehend. When the
power of truth predominates, we fee, in the vifion
of light, its fuperiority to every natural endowment
or gratification ; fo that the infurmountable difficul-
ties that are beheld by the natural eye, are fubjecl:-
ed, and the mountain of the Lord is exalted on the
top of all the hills. In commemoration of this
token of divine regard, my mind is bowed, under
the fenfe of my own unworthinefs, and how unable
I am, notwithstanding this view, to dwell in a ftate
of prefervation and acceptance, without wreftling,
from time to time, for that faith which overcometh,
and that patience whereby we are kept in the hour
of temptation : for if the Lord keep not the city,
the watchman watcheth but in vain. After the
meeting at Ifell we went to Coklbeck, where we
had a fuffering time, but were enabled in a good
degree to fearch out the caufe. Next day we at-
tended a meeting at Mofedale, where we bad
comfortably to obferve that the Mafter's feet had
been, though in general things are very low. On
firft day, the fixteenth, we were at both their meet-
ings at Penrith, where we painfully felt the oppref-
lion of the feed, as in many other places. That
evening we rode to Terril, and next morning had a
meeting there ; where the neceffity of thofe who are
called to the miniftry fitting loofe from outward
connections and profits, and following the Mafter
whitherfoever he leads them, was clearly fet forth.
From hence we went to Strickland meeting, and on
our way, I had a fall from my horfe, with which I
was hurt, but attended the meeting, which was fa-
7 o The LI F E o f
voureJ, and I gradually recovered. From Strick-
land we went to Hawklhead, and from thence to
Swarthmore, where many not of our fociety attend-
ed ; and ic proved an eminently favoured i'cafon.
Our next meeting was at Height which was a low
time. We then proceeded to another meeting,
relied and wrote on 7th day ; and on firft fat both
their meetings, where we had fecretly to mourn
over, and publicly to difcover, the affecting fituati-
on of thofe who, from year to year, have been di-
vinely favoured, and, like the vineyard we read of,
dug about, fenced, and vifited by the good Hufband-
nran : but oh, the falling lhort ! one may plant, and
another may water, yet as the increafe is of the
Lord, and He not being devotedly fought unto, for
that dew of heaven which renders us fruitful, and
that pruning hand which would keep the branches
clean, numbers, after having been planted choice
vines, have become the degenerate plants of a
ftrange vine unto the Lord ; and notwithstanding
they keep a greennefs, and an appearance of life, it
was clear to the view of our minds, that if there
was not a getting deeper, even to the wafhing
pool, and being (tripped of themfelves, the princes
alfo arifing from the dull of the earth and anointing
the fhield, that Spiritual death will greatly increafe
amonglt them, and the judgments of the Lord for
dii. ace will enfue. We took the week follow-
ing, Prc/lon, >edb rg, D< ,r, Garfdale, Ra-
venftonedale, and Lartington; and alio had a fatif-
at liowes, where are non : of our
fociety, and at the OtherSj we were favoured with
SARAH GRUBB. yi
ftrength for the exercife that fell to our lot therein.
The fir ft day following, we attended the meeting at
Staindrop, and another in the evening at Bifhop
Aukland ; on fecond day we went to Durham to
their quarterly meeting, attended the feveral fit-
tings thereof: in all which we were enabled, far
beyond our expectation, to relieve our minds, by
honeftly, in the fear of the Lord, and not of man,
exprefhng our fenfe of the ftate of things amongft
them ; and it was a time of renewed favour. From
thence we went forward, and at a meeting wherein
the uncircumcifed fpirit was painfully felt to prevail
in the forepart thereof, but our help and fafety
depending upon our going down to the brook, we
were engaged patiently to wait for divine clothing,
knowing that it would be dangerous to go againft
them in untried armour, notwithftanding the cauie
might be good : and we may thankfully fay, that
good is the word of the Lord, and efficacious to the
fmiting of the Goliahs of this day."
Her own account of this journey ends here ;
but it appears that fhe proceeded from this place,
and vifited the meetings at Stockton, and Yarm,
back to Benfieldfide, then Ayton, Bilfdale, and
Kirby, and returned home about the middle of the
feventh month.
After fhe had got out of Scotland, fhe and her
companion felt their minds difpofed to falute the
friends of the monthly meeting of Old Meldrura
with an epiftle ; a copy whereof follows.
7 2 The L I F E of
Dear Friends !
" As in our travelling along, we have frequently
felt our minds covered with an earneit engagement
for your preservation, and a fenic of the love of our
heavenly Father towards you, which engaged us to
pay you a vifit, we are drawn in the renewed ex-
tendings thereof, to falute you with a few lines,
and, according to the ability received, to Strengthen
the little life that is amongft you ; that the elders
may be gathered to the true place of feeding, the mid-
dle-aged arifmg may become men and women of
valour for God, and the youth having examples fet
before their eyes of a Steady circumfpect walking,
feafoned with divine virtue, may be engaged, by the
efficacy of the fame holy principle, to fuccced their
i 1 nts, and the faithful in all ages, in carrying for-
ward the Lord's work, and in His name, which is
I lis power, letting up their banners. But, dear
friends, as there are many impediments which have
hindered us as a people, both in this land and in
your . n advancing in our fpiritual progrefs, and
increasing our Strength in the Lord, let us enquire
into the caul'c whence they have come, and to what
they will tend ; for if we hdd kept to the lure foun-
dation, and in all things considered ourfelves the
followers of a crucified Lord, rather than nor
members of a reli ty : and been concerned
to w.dk even as lie walked J the (hares of the ene-
my would not have prevailed to have led fo many
into a mange land ; hecaufc, againtt the
, whereon we might have been built,
•» of hell lhftll never be able to prevail. I nit
SARAH G R U B B. 73
for want of keeping an eye open to this preferr-
ing Power, a fpirit of indifferency hath crept in,
and, whilft many have flept, tares have been fown ;
which, as they fpring up, have had a tendency to
choak the good feed, thofe tender impreffions, and
reproofs of inftruction, which would have prepared
our fpirits, and have bound them to the holy law
and teftimonies of truth. Thus, ftrength hath been
wanting to maintain the difcipline of the church, in
that purity wherein it was fir ft eftabliihed ; and a
door hath opened for encrealing liberties. Hence,
hath enfued a mixing with the fpirit, and cuftoms
of the world j fo that thofe who have not been
taught the fame doctrines, but are looking upon us,
may query, " where is your God ?" feeing, that
though we profefs to be led and guided by the fpi-
rit of truth, our fruits differ not from theirs ; but
the crofs is removed out of the way. As one devi-
ation from the path our predecellors walked in,
conformable to the precepts of Chrift, painfully
affected our minds, both when our lot was caft
amongft you, and fince ; we feel not eafy without
renewedly obferving, that, in the promife of the re-
ftoration to Ifrael, it was laid, " I will turn to the
people a pure language j" and knowing that this
golpel day is ftill more glorious than that, if we did
but live in the light thereof, which would clearly
difcover to us the corrupt fouarce of flattering titles,
and feeking to gratify the vain mind of man, how-
can we, without iacrificing the principle -of truth,
E
74 The LIFE oi
Which leads and guides into all truth, give up that pure
language to which our forefathers were turned, and
adopt the unfound words of You to a fingle perfon ;
and calling the d3ys of the week and months by the
heathen names ; and thofe, our mafters and mi ft re T-
fcsj who are not really fo' y forget ting the command
to call no man, matter. Is not this returning to
the night of apoftafy, and in our dealings and con-
verfe with men, crucifying afrefh the Son of God,
and putting him to open fhame, by thus denying,
or refuting to bear his crofs and teftimony to the
world ?
" We believe there is a number amongft you, who,
by example, have been trained in a deviation from
our holy profeflion •, and thefe we tenderly addrels,
and exhort to feel for themfelves after the influence
of that holy fpirit, which leads its followers in the
fame path, however remote from outward help their
fituations in life maybe; for the peculiar privilege
of thefe is, they need not that any man teach them,
but as this fame divine anointing tcacheth them
all things. Though you may have but few to
ftr'jngthcn your hands, by their example and fym-
pathv with you in your honeft endeavours to breads
down the partition walls, which the enemy has rail-
ed to prevent your advancement to the perfect day
of God •, yet be not dilmayed in your labours i but
member the fervent zeal of our predecefibrs in the
truth •, how they endured the perfecutions of that
day, and how, with unconquerable fortitude and re-
signation to the Lord's will, they fteadily purfued
SARAH GRUBB. 75
the path of true felf-denlal, and fought the good
fight of faith. And if we, in this day of deep
declenfion, look to the Rock of our ftrength, we
cannot fail to find that it is a day which calls for
diligence j and that whatever pointings of duty we
are favoured with, our prefervation depends upon a
faithfulnefs thereto. And therefore, beloved friends,
be ye engaged to fee what it is that keeps you in a
ftate of weaknefs, and prevents your feeling the
ftrengthening and confolating influence of the fpirit
of Chrift ; that fo, you may be enabled to remove
the impediment out of the way, be faithful to the
Lord, and frand in the authority of his truth ; that
endeavouring to rule your own houfes well, and to
have your children in fubjec~tion with all gravity,
you may know his baptizing power upon your fpirits,
in your aflembling together •, and your fecret proftra-
tion and fervent breathings, will be acceptable to
his holy eye, and blefTed by his bountiful hand ; and
in your meetings for discipline, you will iikewife be
feafoned with the (alt of the covenant, and by your
honeft endeavours to keep the camp clean from all
diforderly walkers, you will grow ftronger and
itronger, and your minds become united together in
the bond of true peace. Thus, may it pleafe the
Lord to operate upon your fpirits, and to influence
the youth amongft you to a watchful attention to
their thoughts, their words, and actions •, that being
prefer ved from mixing with thofe, who would draw
away their minds from the difcoveries of truth, and
E 2
76 The LI F E o v
centre them in the corrupt language, and change-
able cuftoms of the world, they may prefer a reli-
gious awfulnefs upon their fpirits, and feck for that
pure fear of the Lord which is a fountain of life,
preferring from the fnares of death, and iteming a
fafe hiding-place in the day of trouble. With fatif-
faetion we acknowledge, that we felt, whillt with
you, that the hand of the Lord has been at work
upon the minds of the youth, and that fome of
thefe have fubmitted thereto j to whom our fpirits
were, and are led into near fympathy, and tilled
with an earncft defire for their prefervation and pro-
grefs in that good work which is begun in their hearts.
Be encouraged, beloved friends, to hold on your
way, and more fully to iubmit your necks to the
holy yoke ; that thereby you may be made willing
to fuffcr for the cauie cf truth; and though you
may not have many examples and helpers in the
Lord, yet being engaged to dwell near the Root
of divine life, and licking for ftrength therefrom,
you will feel the progreflive difpenfation of the
heavenly Vifitant, and grow in ftature, from the
fta'e of children, to young men in the Lord ;
let fituations be what they may, and outward .id-
vantages ever fo great, we are abundantly con-
vinced, that whoever experience an inheritance
in the truth, and an eftablifhment therein, muft
purchafe it for themfelves, learn to live on manna
of their own gathering, and know from whence
all their frelh fprings proceed id now, d
, the fervent I i ire < \ its is, that
SARAH GRUBB. 77
you may be ftirred up to a renewed fenfe of the de-
clenfion of the prefent day, and under it, be engaged
to leek for itrength to flabliih yau in every good word
and work ; that being eiothed with a zeal accord-
ing to knowledge, for the profperity of Zion, and
the enlargement of her borders, you may become
eftablifhed as a city fet upon a hill, having the
light of the golpel day upon your dwellings.
Betifieldfule, 7th month 7th, 1782.
E 3
T h f L I i ■ L .
C K A P. III.
irtlar.d —
h is'. . —
. . .
1- the nth - : an inclina-
to accompany her
. . en 'c :o their relations.
h fhe met with
pre^ ■ in Ireland . with her hum-
e of mind and engagements there,
.owing letters,
■ in that la.
; is uncomfon
of ccrr.pany, and
but i and though it is made eafier
. journey altogether is
On furveying i
not
yet : though I am low, anu
n is a trial of both f pal nee.
Ind
. ever prove a ti
i . and to fteer wifely
. of ol:
..RAH G R U B B.
. proipect of die ban
.
li I was greatly - ten we got te
Holyhead, he : :bon to be in Dublin, and _ . a U
tor bet - " :. Ha .
~ . .. We we:.: t lea next day, were t
: >ut for fc .: . tours • and I then returned ex-
treme i ::.-»:
danbl I ... . .._ bether be flicu.i . ba :
to burr me there. I thought as i: ts bit bead
was laid after our return, that I per : . re d a cup
:-.Tzr than death; for :.. : ..-./. except on
R. G.'s account, 'I ihould not ban* legteUed
£ha_._ irt . aomefik be indtexnpc.
bk :f life, when. - E m I :.:-. we :re
:_ upon. :: I : u Dy and w of bee I
to do the will oi our heavenly Father. To have a
me sting a : H pre (c □ : : . with great weight,
and at the fame time the appearance of things to J
me that, on various account. ; nay own bodily wea_-c-
nefs sol the keafi it was an impotubiltry. I was
afraid, but I think I was not rebellious. In the
depth of o .:-'::*;, I offered myfelf as one unable to
amwer the requiring, hoping the offering wowid be
xne ram -vould be ca : .: in the
thicket 5 here the cull ieemed renewed toe: :;,
. £ce ; and I I : fhort
td was offered, the " . nyfelf
in fa'thfi. - ] led to do, I
.". . . into a ihare, a: en
fcon :. i of the re rand ...... with
£4
So The LIFE o p
the query, Who hath required this at thy hands ?
Prefent rice, and fubfervience to th< tion
of truth on our minds, is no doubt what will pre-
ferve us on this Tea of glafs mingled with fire ; for
if we' keep with the life, and mov< therein, it will
keep us humble, reduce our confidence in the fleih,
and draw us down into differing with it. When
our dwelling is as amongft the pots, and no goodli-
nefs remaineth in us, then we know in whom is
eternal help, and the travail of our fpirits is for
ability to look tdwards his holy habitation. Our
firft failing was on fourth day, and by fixth day I
was got fomething better, when the captain, and a
great number of paffengers were difpofed to fail,
and none of them more fo than ourfelves, if the
wind would take us, which, according to the feel-
ings of my mind, I believed would net ; but I have
no caufe to think it was unacceptable to try the
fleece again •, which we did, and after getting out
of the harbour, the wind turned againft us, and
grew very rough. The vcflcl was violently toiled,
and at one time we were in great danger of founder-
ing. I lay quietly as I could, beholding the won-
ders of an a y hand concerning us - y and in the
deeps, both fpiritually and temporally, I felt myfelf
a Jonah, when the people were crying, that tl
was one on rid all was tremendous about
me. The danger we were in was evidi nt, but
hop' failed me •, which I cfreenn d an unf;>
able ' v, and which led me to a gre:
; I had before felt, to give up to the meet-
ing, or any tl fe thai We were
SARAH G R U B B. 8r
out this time but about four hours, and after we land-
ed, a large merchant fhip was wrecked in our fight,
but no lives loft. My fituation now became awful ;
there feemed no way but refignednefs to the meet-
ing;, and that I could not fee was to be till firft dav.
My hufband I perceived was afraid, for he conlidered
us accountable for whatever the caufe fullered by us,
efpecially as there never was a meeting there before.
On firft day morning we were tried again, for the
wind being fair, we prepared for failing, and when
all was ready for going on board, a ftorm came on,
and the captain durft not venture to loofe the fhip
in the harbour, believing that if he did it would be
foon wrecked. We then returned again, and the
time came on for the people to go to fome place of
worfhip ; when finding an empty houfe near the
inn, we engaged it, and felt moft eafy to give notice
to but a few, that we were going to fit in our ufual
manner to worfhip, and that if they, or any others,
chofe to accompany us, we had no objection. Before
we got to the place, many were there, and more fol-
lowed ; and to our humble admiration, divine
affiftance was near, and wonderfully helped us over
that fitting. At the concluiion, the people were,
defirous of another in the evening, which, ■ when
we had conlidered it, we confented to ; and if I
may venture to fay, it was crowned with good, and
the melting operation of truth appeared to be expe-
rienced by many of the people, who behaved with
great folidity. The next evening tide fuited for our
paffage, and with peaceful minds we embarked, and
E5
82 The LfPt «i
were but nine hours from bay to bey. Tims have
we cattfc to turn back to this page of our lives, with
humble gratitude of mind, and to acknowledge that
a fimple pointing of duty, and a fimple dilcharge
thereof, is productive of folid fatisfaclion, when,
on the other bund, no exertion or anxiety of our
own, can furnifh us with one grain of it, nor can
we, by taking thought, add one cubit to our ftature!"
" Often, very often, finee I faw your
/aces, has my mind viiited you in affectionate ncar-
nefs ; but I have feldom felt greater inability, than
fince I came into this land, thus to ronve> fe with
my friends •, for as our coming was hidden, it bas
occafioned deep fearcbings of heart, for prefer-
■vation, and direction how to move in the line of
wifdom.
" We met with a very cordial reception in Ire-
land ; the hofpitality and afFec'lion of our friends
were net iinacceptable to a poor ftranger like me ;
ncverthclefs my mind has not feemed at libertv, as
I could have wifhed, to enjoy that fociety which is
gratifying to felf. It is good for us renewedly to
feel ouriclves not our own, to Hand refigned to the
divine will, and to know it to be our meat and drink
to do it. Every little additional experience tends to
convince us, that herein confifts our moft folid and
permanent fatisfacVion ; and were our difpofition of
nfiftance to the painful preparation for devotedm :fi
removed, we fhould more often have hclinplv to
acknowledge, that with the divine blcflings, there is
added no forrow •, but we make fnrrows for onr-
felvcs, vc add that which our gracious Benefactor
SARAH G R U B B. 83
hath not in ftore for us. A path exempt from
trials is what I have no right to expect, and what I
hope I am learning not to deiire. A patient fub-
miffion to every divine difpenfation, is what I wifll
for an encreafe of; that fo, the mingled cup of life
may prove a profitable draught, and imprefs me,
more and more, with a-n humble fenfe of the multi-
plied bleffings beftowed upon me : for by this means,
I believe we fhall encreafe in knowledge how to
move and conduct ourfelves, amidft the various
temptations, befetments, and crofs occurrences, inci-
dent to this pi'obationary ftate.
" We went pretty directly from Dublin for Clon-
mel, after the half-year's meeting, and fpent two
days very much to my inftruction, at Ballitore.
We ftaid about ten days amongft our relations, who
are valuable and kind, and then went for Carlow
quarterly meeting, where were Robert Valentine and
his companion, &c. I think, upon the whole, it was
a very favoured gathering, though here, as in our
land, the world and its fpirit has made great
devaftation and fcattering amongft the gathered
tribes."
" We look with a degree of fatisfadtion at
our return. A little reft to body and mind will
be truly acceptable, as our vifit to our relations feems
now completed. Our palTage through this land
has been encumbered with many thorns, and attend-
ed with many trials unforefeen by us. It is a day
of deep humiliation, and it fometimes looks as if
our judgment was taken away. I want not to make
complaints ; I wifh rather to profit by what I have
The LIFE of
: , an J reap inftru&ion from every renewed
difpenfation of infinite kindnefs •, I tnyfelf un-
worthy of the Ieaft of His bent , tnd thatj with-
His peculiar care, 1 fhall be over wh , ami
-war; le from the (lability of the truth: but by
being b; I into a Jeep fenfc of my i wn w<
nefs and frailty i I have been led to ackno\
that even the bitter things are fweet •, feeing, that
in infinite wifdom, they are ordered for the
lengthening o{ our fpiritual appetite, and bring-
ing down that part in us which is at enmity with
the crofs, an J loves not its government in the
Her home f ars ;.ft t. r lur marriage,
was at Foiton, a village ten mil< fi n York. This
was to her a comfortable r>. when not en-
gaged abroad in the fervice of truth. But ih<
gratifying to nature, and a defirable refl ace,
her concern for the advancement of her great
Mailer's caufe, which was her moft defired meat
an.1 drink, often < tiled h< r from this abode, lb
that (lie feldom refided there for a month together.
It a I, indeed, that fhe was unwearied in pro-
moting the caufe of truth and righteoufnefs, and
willing to fpend and be fpent for the great Name's
In the fpring of the year 1784, fhe appears to
have been engaged in a vifit to the meetings and
fomc families of friends, in Norfolk, and to dr
other n • , aslhepn L to the yearly meeting
at London. Of this religious cngagemci ■> 1 o.i
SARAH G R U B B. 85
accounts of her own, hnve been difcovered ; the
following are the material parts of all that have been
collected from her letters.
" We had nine meetings laft week, at
eight different places, befide private opportunities
in families, which we durft not avoid ; finding the
declenfion to be fo great in almofl every one, where
we have come, and fo few who feem to know it,
that we are ready to fay, For Zion's fake we cannot
reft nor hold our peace, till at leaft they are inform-
ed of their ftate." " We attended their week
day meeting at this place, with which we were well
fatisfied, it being a time of much in ftr action, how-
ever to my mind ; finding by a degree of living ex-
perience, that there is indeed a Minifter of minif-
ters, on whom we have great caufe to wait to be
initructed ourielves, in our private, as well as pub-
lic duty •, that, in all things, we may approve our-
feves obedient fervants, and good examples to the
flock. It was my lot to lit in iilence, viewing the
great, and almoft general infenfibility to true re-
ligion*"
" We have not only travelled hard, but
found much work at places where we have come,
finding it rather more than ufual in the line of our
duty, to bear a teftimony, not only to the truth,
but againft the numerous evils and inconfiftencies,
which have generally overfpread the profefTors in
thefe parts ; and as our peace much depends, in our
pafling along, in being honeft, and fpeaking the truth
without parables, we have been enabled, pretty to-
lerably, to difcharge our duty, and to fhew them
86 Tun LIFE op
how far they are from what they pretend to be;
though 'tis hard work, and we find that the more
abundantV we manifeft our love in this way*
the lefs we are loved by many who have been ud d
to fmooth things, and have fought to make the
truth conform to them, inftead of this conduct
being brought to, and regulated by the truth. So
that indeed many are blind in error, and thofe that
fee, will not exert themfelves to fearch their own
houfes, and remove the inconfiftencies that are in
them. A mournful profpect appears in thefe, as
we'll as many other parts ; no likelihood of a fuccef-
fion in the truth, and even the prefent ftandard-bcar-
crs ready to faint. Under thefe imprcfiions, we I
not great things for ourfelves, but rather are difpof-
cd to coniider it a favour, (great enough for us to
expect) if we have our lives for a prey, from one
place to another.
" We have little expectation, that in any fittings,
our minds will get above the fpirits of this people ;
and till that itrength arifes which puts the armies
of aliens to flight, I truft (TOT lips will be fealed, and
we content therewith ; for indeed, it is not m\ eaiy
tafk to minifter to this degenerate age, who think
they know all things, and, like the magicians in
Egypt, can account fur all the works of the divine
hand : but what a favour it is, that there is ftill ex-
tended to us as a people, that power which con-
founds the wifdom of thefe, and brings to nought
their great underftanding."
■ " We have been much engaged the few
days we have ltaid at Norwich. It has been to our
SARAH GRUBB. 87
mind? a fufFering time, during our ftay in that place ;
but though we have mourned, and perhaps rather
murmured at times, yet we have great caufe to be
thankful for the help wherewith, in infinite kind-
nefs, we have been helped. It is a day of great
diicourasement, and I think I was never more
ready to lay down my armour, than in iilence this
day at meeting. The fituation of mind I was in, I
found tended to humble and reduce the creature ;
and as my foul was hungry, even the bitter food I
partook of, became fweet, and I faw the profit of
thefe leafons."
" We left Norwich on feventh day, were
at Yarmouth on firft, Pakefield on fecond, Becles
on third, Leifton fourth, and Woodbridge to day,
where, as at fome other places, we fat in mournful,
but I truft inftrudtive filence. What falls at times
to our lots in meetings, and fometimes in converfa-
tions out of them, feems much like pulling down
old houfes, and we are often afraid of being choak-
ed in the duft ; for indeed moft of the buildings we
fee are painfully fuperficial, and our little labour
has been deeply diftreffing •, fo that the language of
my heart often is, " Who hath believed our re-
port ?" but I am thankful in feeling the burden de-
creaiing, as our work feems clofing."
In the year following fhe felt a religious concern to
join her friend Rebecca Jones, on a vilit to the meet-
ings of friends in Ireland, &c. and having laid the
fame before the monthly meeting, with the appro-
bation thereof, and the concurrence of the quarterly
88 The LIFE of
meeting, flie fet forward on this journey in the 7th
month, 1785. Of this vifit there is preferved a ihort
journal written by berfelf, which is as follow
M I left home the 13th of 7th month 1785, and
fpent two nights at York, in order to allow a com-
fortable opportunity of taking a l'olid and affection-
ate leave of my connections there -, and on the 15th,
went with my hufband to Bradford, where, next
day, 1 parted with him, he returning to York, and
I proceeding with my couiin W. M. (who was to ac-
company me to Ireland) for Manchester.
11 We ftaid there the next day, being the firft of
the week, and I was at both their meetings j which
favoured to my mind of that righteoufnefs and wif-
dom of man, which never can work the righteouf-
nefs of God nor favour the things that pertain
to His kingdom.
" But there is a precious fuffcring ^e<\ in that
place, to which my fpirit was renewedly united in
t 1 covenant of light and 1 On fecond day we
went) with many friends, down the water to War-
rington, where, OD the 19th was held their month-
ly meeting, which I felt molt cafy to attend, though I
might thereby mils an opportunity of crofflng the
rer, fo early as I otherwife might choofe ; and I
was comfortably fatisfied with this little dedication
by the way. I went that evening to Liver] ool, and
Waked till 6th day for a fuifable wind for failii
During this time, was their week day meeting, and
my fpirit was then ■ ' < xercifed, on account of
{' '1' who were fubftituting their own righteOU fn<
for the righteoufnefi of (Jo.i, which is inherited in
SARAH G R U B B. 89
pure faith, in the virtue and power of that creative
Word, by which all things were made, that were
made in the fpiritual creation, and by which,
through the reduction of the natural will and wis-
dom of men, they can no more worihip the work
of their own hands : and in the flrength with which,
my fpirit was renewedly fupplied, I attempted to ex-
prefs fomewhat on this Subject, for which I felt
peace. We next day embarked for Dublin, in the
Hawke packet, and had a very tedious and diftref-
fing voyage, being uncomfortably detained, in part
for want of wind, and in part by its being contrary •,
the latter occasioning us to put into the Ifle of Man,
where we ftaid two nights, and found a very courte-
ous and hofpitable reception from the inhabitants.
My mind was attached to them, in the fecret effu-
fion of golpei love, but feeling abundant weaknefs
in myfelf, and wanting that united exercife which
is received by fellow labourers, I did not perceive it
to be my woe if I preached not the gofpel ; and
therefore, in an humble truft that the great Shep-
herd of Ifrael would fend more fuitable fervants for
that work in that iile, and not put my omiffion in
the balance againft me, I embarked again with the
reft of our company, fave one, whom we left dead
on the ifland. Being out longer than we expected,
by two days, our provisions were exhaufted ; and
though through divine protection we did not fuffer
much from want, yet it was a favour gratefully to
be commemorated, that we were enabled through
fome difficulty to land when we did j which, with
the imtruction conveyed to my mind, under deep
90 The LIFE of
discouragement, and clofe fearching of heart, when
all human confolations ftood afar off, afforded hum-
ble caufe to believe, that this trying difpenfation was
intended as a neceli'arv baptifm of my f|>irit into the
Service before me *. On our landing, I foon met
* A more particular account of this voyage, with fe-
vcral additional initnicHve remarks, arc contained in
the following feleclions from her letters. '* It is
very unexpc-ftcd to me to write from this port ; but fo
little do we know what, in the courfe of divine wifdom,
fhall fall to our lot, that every encreafe of experience
convinces us, there is no fafer or eafier fituation of mind,
than a daily dependance on, and quiet resignation to,
Him who knows what is bell for us, and what will tend
mod to His own honour. We failed laft ii.xth day from
Liverpool, having got there on third, but the wind not
being very fair when we fet out, and turning more
againft us afterwards, occalioned a troublefomc and
wearifome palfage thus far, not only by contrary winds,
and fevere licknefs, but by the almoft intolerable llcnch
and Suffocating clofenefs of our cabin and lodgings,
and the continual wicked, obfeene, conversation of our
paffengers, who are feventy in number. Sometimes, I
was afraid it would overcome me, both in body and
mind ; when recalling to my remembrance the poor
Negroes, (who, added to what I have mentioned, in a
far worlc degree, arc cha ther, under the load
of that anguUh naturally attendant on a forced
tion from the nearefl connections in Life, and with the
proipect of perpetual bondage under cruel talkmalters)
my fmall trials in this line, and indeed in every other,
diminished in my view ; and the multitude of bleflj
in infinite mercy, thowered down, in crowded in their
, that at times, inftead of repining, I faw abun-
cauie to enquire, " what am I, that tl 'bus
mindful of me, and what thai] 1 render unto ti.
SARAH GRUBR. 91
with our honourable friend Samuel Emlen, whofe
Animating company and fatherly kindnefs, greatly
fevived me, and helped me to leave the things
We put in at the Lfle of Man, and were hofpitably re-
ceived by the inhabitants, whofe engaging fimplicity,
and religious zeal, have attached my mind to them. I am
fmcerely defirous that if I do nothing for the truth, I
may do nothing againft it ; and when I look thus, I
feel a comfortable belief, that even this care fhail tend
to the furtherance of the gofpel, and that it will fome-
what open the way for future fervice in this place ; for
if the fenfe that attends my mind be right, when the
feet of the meffengers are more eminently turned into
the way of the Gentiles, to Pul and Lud, &c. and to
the ifles afar off, this little place will not be forgot, but
offerings will be brought here to the mountain of the
Lord's holinefs, and His glory fhall break forth."
" I am fafe arrived in this land, and have
humbly to commemorate divine protection, and fecret
fupporting goodnefs in my paffage hither. The ways
of the Moft High remain to be ways of wonders,
and his acts are paft finding out ; neverthelefs, he ftill
revealeth fecrets, as he did unto Abraham, when a de-
gree of the fame faithfulnefs is, through His humbling
power, attained to ; and without it, how little do we
know, even when we think we know moft ? Never did
I fo fenfibly enjoy the bofom of the church, which, I
may humbly acknowledge, was cordial to receive me ;
but how much more excellent is that pure faith, which
reveals itfelf when all human coniblations ftand afar
off, and by centreing our fpirits therein, wonderfully
convinces us, that it is the " fubftance of things hoped
for, the evidence of things not feen."
" I feel myfelf much recovered from fatigue,
and have gratefully to commemorate divine protection,
and fecret fuftaining help, when the feeble efforts of
92 T H E LIFE o !•
that art- behind, and to prefs forward in profpec't
to a decree of humble d ication to the renewed
pointings of dutv. My beloved friend R. J. with*
G. Dilhvyn and Wife, having performed a family
vifit to friends in Dublin, were gone to Ballitore,
where they found a fimilar engagement to that in
which they had been employed ; and when I reach-
ed them, they had nearly iiniihed, and were almoft
ready to proceed. In a few days we accordingly
fet forward together, viz. G. D. R. J. and myiclf ;
our profpects comfortably correfponding one with
bodily ftrength and natural fortitude, fecmed unequal
to render me that fupport, which one grain of living
faith affords. Oh ! what abundant reafon we have,
not to truft in ourfelves, but in Him who died for us,
to whole death, if wc arc not conformable, we cannot
fully experience the prevailing power of eternal life."
" I trufl the probation myfpiiit experienced
in our pafTage here, will not prove altogether an unpro-
fitable difpenfation, on entering a fervice, the right per-
formance whereof depend* on our being baptized
enough, and weaned enough ; fo that whatever is brought
forth may be of the new creation, unconnected with all
old heavens, and old earth. And indeed I may fay
that, before I left home, though my mind was much
flrippcd and tried, I often fufpefted whether I had
fully partaken of the neceflary cup of fuffering, pre-
paratory to fuch an undertaking as the prefent; and
believed I ihould have a trying baptism to r
through before I entered upon it; though I n<
have no doubt but my I • this way, were in the
■ lit time, [t is an unfpeakable blefling I I with
the j power i f truth by the waj ; and the de-
fire ol my heart , to be more and more in luvc
therewith."
SARAH GRUBB. 93
another, we cheerfully concurred therewith, to tra-
vel in company. On the 4th day following we wer t
to Chriftians Town, and in the evening vifited a
family of young people, one of whom was in a de-
clining ftate of health ; to whom, with the reft, in-
ftruclion and encouragement were handed, to prefer
the humbling difpenfations of infinite wifdom, to all
temporal gratifications. We then returned to our
lodgings, and fat with the family ; where my belov-
ed companion was enabled, in awful fupplication, to
breathe for continued fupport, and prefervation in
the path of obedience ; which comfortably cement-
ed our fpirits together. Next day we went to Rath-
angan, where we had to travail for the arifings of
pure life, under the difcouraging apprehenfion of
its being very low in that place ; but infinite kind-
nefs vouchfafed to own the deep exercife, and gra-
cioufly fent forth His light and truth, whereby the
way to His holy hill was opened in the demonftra-
tion of the fpirit and power, and the meeting end-
ed under an humbling commemoration of his good-
nefs. In the evening we went to New Park, and
next morning to the meeting at Timahoa, which
was fmall, and the public fervice rather laborious,
becaufe of the unfitnefs of many of the profeflbrs
to receive fpiritual things. In the afternoon we
went to Profperous, a new fettled town, where there
are no members of our religious fociety. We had a
meeting there much to the fatisfadtion of vifitors
and vifited ; the people behaved well, and we had
reafon to believe, by the ownings of truth, that
there is a precious feed there. We went to New
94 The LIFE of
Park again to lodge, and in the morning fat with
the family and others then prefent, and fame profi-
table counfel opened. From thence we went to
Edenderry ; and next day, being the firft of the week,
we ftaid, and were at their own meeting, tl
preparative meeting, a public meeting in the after-
noon, and in the evening fat with their minilters
and elders ; at all which, merciful help was near
in the needful time, and enabled to difcharge
our fever. d duties in Simplicity for which the re-
ward of peace and quietude was not withheld.
On fecond day the 8th of 8th month, we came to
Oldcaftle, and were at their meeting next day,
where many people not of our fociety attended ;
amongfk whom there was opennefs to labour. After
meeting we ftaid with thofe few in profeffion with
us, when their low eftate was felt, Sympathized with,
ami counfel flowed thereto.
On 4th day we went to Cootehill, where are very
few friends ; they are in a poor Shattered Situation
as to the life of religion, and Scarce able to keep up
their meetings. Many of the town's people came
to the meeting, and it was a folid favoured oppor-
tunity ; and a comfortable belief attended our minds,
that there is a previous Seed in that place ; but the
profcilbrs of truth are {tumbling blocks. We fat
down with them Select at the conclufion of the
meeting, and found it cxcreiiing work to vifit the
feed in them, but were enabled honcftly to difcharge
our Several duties*. From thence we went to
* In a letter dated the next day, fhc writes : "Throi:
divine fupjort, mercifully vouchsafed from day to day,
SARAH G R U B B. 95
Caftlefhane, a place very like Cooteliill ; and in the
evening after the meeting there, reached Grange,
near Charlemount, and lodged at the houfe of »
a vilited young man, who, with two others in his
family, afford a comfortable profpect of a revival of
ancient fimplicity, and right zeal in that place.
Our fpirits were nearly united to them, and the
ftreams of encouraging couniel flowed freely for
their refrefhment and ftrength. We were at their
meeting next day, being the fir ft of the week,
which was a fullering time ; and in the evening, had
a very large and fatisfactory meeting of the country
people not in profeilion with us, who behaved well,
and in many of whom the witnefs of truth was
raifed. Next day we proceeded to go round Lough-
Neagh, by taking Toberhead, Colerain, Ballynacree,
Ballimena, Grange, and Antrim ; at all which
places, we had deeply to lament the low declined
ftate of the profeflbrs of truth, not only as to numbers,
but in a departure from the precious, preferving,
principle of light and life •, whereby the living mem-
bers of the church are kept in their lots, and en-
abled to ftand with firmnefs, as a city fet on a hill,
we have been enabled to difcharge the millions commit-
ted, fo as to leave each place with a good degree of
peace. Indeed it is a relieving confederation, under the
difcouragements that poor travellers often meet with,
that the work is not ours, and that an inftrument has
only to be paflive in the hand of him that ufeth it,
leaving its profperity, and the honour of the caufe, to
the all fufficiency of the divine arm, which can work
with us or without us."
o<5 1 in. LIFE of
to the praife of His grace who hath called them out
of the world, into His marvellous light. The coun-
try people coming in at the aforefaid places, tended
to the more free circulation of life, wherein the
fpring of gofpel miniilry was fometimes opened •,
but it wns my lot to pal's along in gloomy fuffering,
and, at times, initructive filence. After meet-
ing at Antrim, the 2 lit of 8th month, being met
a friend and his wife, we returned home with
them, and refted next day ; on the evening of
which my dear hufband cam', to us from England}
and after ltaying in the neighbourhood where we
were, and falling in at divers meetings for discip-
line with us, he went to Clonmel, and ftaid till we
came near that place before we faw him again. On
the 2 n\ we went tc Newtown, and next day had a
meeting with the few friends there. The know-
e and virtue of true religion feemed very low
amongft them, and it was hard work, by d
and fecret exercife, to minifter to the pure life.
From !" n< • wc returned to J/fburn, and attended
their monthly meeting, wherein a little ftre:
feenr en me for fome public labour; but my
dear companions were filentl) baptized under a
concern to vifit t; lilies of friends in that place,
though the time did not appear to be then come.
After being at Hillfborough, Lurgan, Ballyh;
Moyallen, and Ballinderry meetings, we returned to
Lifburn, and in -about a week performed the Cervices
the Minifter of minifters being near to hand forth
enei e (often after long fuffering filence)
initruetiun and eoiiloiation to die vnited
SARAH G R U B E. 97
Great indifFerence and infenfibility, as to the know-
ledge of the Lord's dealings with His people, prevail
in that place, though a little tried remnant dwell
amongft them *. At the clofe of this vifit, came on
the quarterly meeting at Ballinderry for the pro-
vince of Ulfter, which was rather a low iuffering time.
Here we met with our friend Zachariah Dicks from
North Carolina, who was come over on a religious
vifit to this land, and who was in fome expectation
of our companion G. D joining him ; but not
feeling releafed one from another in the fervice
wherein we were joined, it was judged mo ft pru-
dent to wait for the openings of truth, as much in
our feparation, as we had endeavoured to attend to
* The following is extracted from a letter bearing
date the ift of 9th month, 1785. " Such is the ftate of
our fociety in thefe parts, as well as in divers places in
our land, that it is hard dragging along for poor travel-
lers ; the prevailing death is ready to iwallow them up,
and fo put a Hop to all circulation of life. Well ! droop-
ing as our ipirits often are, we have no where elfe to go
but to the fountain, which is, at times, when faith and
patience are at the loweft ebb, unexpectedly opened for our
renewed refrefliment, and encouragement to truft a little
longer. Here are, notwithstanding, in the North of this
nation where we have been, a few beautiful plants
amongft the young and younger men, whofe roots arc,
I truft, deepening in the heavenly foil ; but in tke prof-
pec~t of their future trials, if they are faithful, I am al-
moft ready to tremble, there is fuch a hoft of oppofition
for them to prefs through, in reviving the purity of the
gofpel. We are nearly united to them, and to find
them was like meeting with near kindred.
93 Tk; LIFE oi
them in joining. We left this Province pretty d
i after the quart F to-
"is Dublin, tak ; . I hfriland meeting in our
•, to which many town" c came, and it v
a large and favoured meeting. We reached Dublin
the 15th of 9th month, where we ft.. id near a week,
meetings, under great oppreffion and
c iragement of mind, and without much rei
faw an opening to leave the place and go to Tima-
hoe. Here we vifited their families and had peace
therein. From thence we fet off for Edenderrv ;
and going by way of Rathangan, an opening which
. put by when we were there before, of
g a public meeting amongft the town 1 | le,
prefented again ; and we had caufe to admire, how
providentially we were caft in th< sfperfori
h pointings of duty, as had been, m<>ie from
C " : -nce than a rebellious mind I over. 11 -
: ftaid over l'.rf: day, and 1 large c:- »
meeting in the evening, which was cr My
difturbed me rude people in liquor, but d'n ■
. and it ended well. From R.uh
gan we purfucd our joui !a-
rr. >re, Moat, Ballimurry, Birr'. more,
* I
. proff - • ■ . •
• nough, we f< i t to out
ere is, in l n fufTcr
•he ex-
igfa
•
m " ,af -
SARAH GRUBB. 99
and Rofcrea ; in all which a degree of painful exer-
ciie was our lot, under the feeling fenfe of the gene-
ral departure of the profefTors of truth, from that
ancient, righteous zeal and primitive fimplicity, which
the people of God who walked faithfully before
Him, were, in all ages, confpicuous for. But He
who never faid to the wreftling feed of Jacob, " feek
ye my face in vain," gracioufly condefcended to re-
ward the travail of our fpirits, by arifing for His
own name's fake, and giving ftrength to lift the
ftandard of righteoufnefs, and furnifhing with an in-
vitation to the youth to repair to it, and fo inherit
the bleiTed effects thereof.
We went to Limerick from Rofcrga, and ftaid
there over firft and fecond days. The public meet-
ings were low, diftreffing opportunities, and little
ability to labour amongft that people, who feem
much under the influence of the god of this world :
but on firft day evening, a number of youth being
preient at T. M's and a few honeft -hearted friends
more advanced in years, we had a very favoured fea-
fon of retirement, and the ftreams of love and life,
through infiructive, confolating miniftry, ran
freely. On third day we left Limerick for Yough-
all ; my mind was dipped into a fenfe of my own
weaknefs, and great difcouragement and difmay fur-
if our coming anfwers no other end than to flrengthen
a few, weak hands, and be inftrumental in revivine
the hope of the humble, tried children in the family,
it will be enough, though the reward to curiclves may
be but fmalL"
F 2
us Tut LIFE of
rounded me. I faw tlic neceffity of an rncrcafing
labour to dwell near the pure gilt in myfelf, -which I
have ever found to be the moil effectual prefervati-
on, in the conflicting work of purification and faith-
fulnefa in more public fervicej for when it reduces
the mind, and brings it down as into the bottom of
Jordan, it likewife (lays the billows thereof by pure
i, and fuccours by the incomes of patience,
whereby every divine difpenfation is rendered profit-
able, and every bitter thing fweet •, centring us out
of the reach of fkfhy confidence} in that ftate of
abafcdnel's to winch divine compafllon is moft emi-
nently extended. We lodged one night at an inn,
and on fourth day reached Youghall, where, on
fifth, we had two large and favoured meetings.
Next day we got to Springmount near Cork, to the
houfe of our dear ami honourable friend S. N.
Here I heard of the deceafe of our beloved friend,
Robert Waiker, who departed this life at Totten-
ham, near London, after having paid an table
i ins vifit to friends of that city and its nei
bourhood. He was a man who having palt'ed
through deep baptifms of fpirit, in preparation for
the work of the mini ft ry, became eminent therein.
The multitude could not judge, neither did they
know, his : . Fering defcendings with the
feed, when crucified in the hearts of the peopl< .
in the ftreets of fpiritual Sodom ami Egypt ; and
confidering himfelf as an unworthy minifter thereto,
•ion to the difpenfation
of the day. Great v hi induftry, and yet many
were the trials of his faith for the fupply of tempo-
SARAH G R U B B. 101
ral things. Though unadorned with human litera-
ture, he was inftrucled in the fchool of Chrift, as a
good Scribe to whom was committed the knowledge
of the myfteries of the kingdom, wherein all necef-
fary accomplifhments were acquired, and difplayed
in goipel Simplicity.
Since my coming into this Province, the fubjecl
which has for fome time been under my confideration,
of fettling in thefe parts, has often prefented to my
mind ; with an anxious defire, that the moil endear-
ed companion of my life, may, with myfclf, be kept
fingle in all our views, and refigned in our fpirits to
whatever infinite wifdom fees meet to do with us >
that the way before us, though it be ftrait and
narrow, may not be made more difficult, by any
willings and runnings of our own. I am often
afraid of myfelf in this refpect ; I feel, when unfup-
ported by beft help, a partial attachment to my na-
tive land ; and to part with my connections, and
fome to whom I am clofely united in fpirit, at
times appears hard : but even on this footing, I find
a counterpoising weight on my hufband's fide, who
has alio valuable relations, and many friends in the
beft fenfe, with temporal concerns and conveniencies
more fuitable than elfewhere. Oh then, may divine
counfel influence our fpirits, in the confideration, and
determination of this important ftep ! Thou knoweft
O Lord ! the fervency and exercife of my fpirit here-
in ; thou knoweft, that, above all things I wifh to
ferve thee, with the dedication of all that I have, when
thou calleft for it ; and as by thy power only, an holy
compliance is wrought ; O withhold it not in the
F 3
102 Tun LIFE of
le ! Suffer not our feet to flide from the
ancient foundation, but with the right arm of thy
:, enable us to make war in righteoufneis, in
the lot thou affignelt ! O (hew us the lut ! Suffer ur,
not to wander in the dark, but be thou gracioufly
fed fpiritually to lead us, by the eloud and pillar
ol lire, certain tokens of thy holy approbation of the
way th«;t we take !
At Cork we fluid, (except going one day to
Bandon, and returning the next) eleven days, and
attended nine meetings, and m2ny private opportu-
nities in friend's fr.milies, where counfel and encour-
agement often unexpectedly opened *, which were
miniftered under the precious influence of divine
love and life *, wherein the fpirits of a remnant were
cemented together, in a degree of holy fellowihip,
and an exercife generally prevailed to help one ano-
• forward in the new and living way •■, which in
many places lies much unoccupied, the travellers hav-
ing got into paths fo widely different] that it is fome-
times difficult to find it , and when found, fo to
believe in its rectitude, as to imdce ftruight fteps
therein.
During my ftay in and about Cork, I had fre-
ruent occafions humbly to commemorate the wif-
ciom, mercy, and power, of our gracious Helper,
who, in a time of deep humiliation and adverfity,
incd my poor toiled foul ; and, by a portion ot
that holy faith which I knew to be his own immedi-
. to fee his all-fuffici . and my
, ?.nd after melting all that was
:.l-, by his hi ig difp nfationsj fan o
SARAH G R U B B. 103
again to renew his image upon my heart, and to
caufe me to experience more largely the work of the
new creation, and the neceffity of ever abiding in
lowlinefs of mind, and treading the courts of the
Lord with holineis and fear. O ! faid my foul,
withhold not from me whatever hath this tendency ;
let the voice of the Holy One go forth, which faith,
" cut down the tree," rather than it fhould over-
fpread, and bring forth fruit, to difhonour the
great and excellent Name : neverthelefs, may that
which is pure be fattened, as with a band of iron in
the tender grafs of the field, that fo, humility and
fimplicity may fpring, and more loudly acknowledge,
that the Moll High reigns in the kingdoms of men,
and giveth of his own precious gifts and favours to
whomfoever he will.
"We went from Cork to the houfe of a friend
who, for fome months paft, has been in a low de-
jected ftate of mind •, and in the evening my dear
companion R. J. was dipt into his fituation, and her
mouth was opened in living counfel and encourage-
ment, which for a time feemed to revive him. Here
I met with my dear hufband, to our mutual confola-
tion ; and from hence, after attending a meeting
next day at Garryroan, which was rather a low
time, we went to Clonmel to our mother's there,
and refted one day before the quarterly meeting for
Munfter province came on. Our minds were mea-
furably baptized for the approaching folemnity, par-
ticularly that of my beloved friend R. J. who with
dear G. D. had good fervice ; and the meetings,
F 4
104 Tn r L l F E or
though Laborious, were eminently owned with the
extenfion of divine good, and frit nils were renew -
cdly encouraged to faithfulnefs in their refpecdive lots.
I fit all the meetings filently, not without a fellow-
feeling and travail with thole i 1 in turning the
battle to the gate -, but my fpirit was lb clothed
with the garment of mourning, and the fenfe of my
own infufikiency, that I was ready to lay, with the
Prophet, " I will fneak no more in Thy Name." Yet
to be preferred in a ftate of patient exertife, and in
rcfignation to what might be the allotted portion of
fulicring in this day of trial, was the fervent dc-
fire of my mind. In tliis frame, I have often known
the moft fenfible incomes of holy help, and been
more enabled from thence to bring up ftones of me-
morial) than when the travail of my foul has been
more fhallow, and the ftreams of the miniftry have
lain nearer the furfacc of the people's fpirits ; and
O ! that, in all feafons of proving, I may never
fhrink from under that mournful covering, till the
fenfe of what I am, and a of living faith
i.i the immediate teachings of divine wifdom, arc not
only railed, but prevail in my heart ; that lb, the
creature, its wifdom and activity, may die daily,
under that Power which cruelties all that is of the
flefl», and fanctifics throughout. After the quarter-
ly meeting was o\er, we were moft eafy to lit with
the friends of that particular meeting; where I felt
an p for fome religious communication j and
it w is a dofe, hut favoured time-, nevci thelefs a degree
f fadnei d with me. Aft< r this meet;
was over, and partaking of a cup oi heavt on-
SARAH G R U B B. 105
folation in the family of a relation, we went down
to Anner Mills that night, and next day fet off for
Dublin, in order to attend the half year's meeting,
held in the eleventh month. It was rather a low
time, but holy help was near (according to ancient
declaration) to the Poor in Spirit, the exercifed
wreftling {eed, of which, through preferring good-
nefs, there is a remnant in this land ; with whole
tribulated path I have often been dipped into near
fympathy, and was renewedly fo at this time : never-
thelefs, we had unitedly to believe, that if fome
of thefe perlifted in unfaithfulnefs to the manifefta-
tions of duty, concerning their religious fervices,
they were in danger of occasioning to themfelves
fuch a wildernefs travel, as might prove very diffi-
cult for them to be delivered from. Thefe were
fervently and honeftly laboured with, " i:o offer to
the Lord the facrifice of thankfgiving, and to pay all
their vows ;" that fo, a generation might be raifed up
more zealous for the honour and promulgation of
the great Name, than many of later times have been,
My mind was greatly depreffed in this city, and I
found it conduce to my fafety, to weigh well what I
apprehended to be the motions of truth. The meet-
ings were large, and my beloved companions being
not only better qualified for fcrvice therein, but
coming from fo diftant a part of the world as Pen-
fylvania in America, and there being little or no
profpeel: of their ever having another opportunity, of
fo fully relieving their minds to friends in this land,
I fought for obfeurity : which is always moft defira-
F 5
106 The LI F £ *i
ble to my own mind, knowing that fafety attends it ;
and that it requires deep baptiiiv.s, r.nd a cloie dwel-
:ig with ihe g'ft, rightly to miniiter life, and vifit
the iced in large mixed congregations. Without an
extraordinary degree of thefe, it fcldom happen-;
that the appearances of thofe who arc young in ex-
perience, afford Satisfaction to the true church el
Chrift, or that they reap the reward of folid inftruc-
e peace in their own minds; and often feeling
rhat I am one of thefe, the prayer of my fpirit has
~n, that I may be kept under the humbling fenfe
ihereof, and be preferved from burdening the liv-
ing by being too fhallow in ray fpirit, or fpreading
too much into fruitlefs branches ; that fo, the great
and excellent caufe of truth may never be disho-
noured by or through me. Infinite wifdom is, ne-
verthelcfs, to direct and go before us, in the line
of His own appointment : and under an apprchenii-
on of the puttings forth of the heavenly Shepherd,
I ventured to ftep forward in two large meetings ;
and through his fuftaining goodnefs, I was enabled
to relieve my own mind in a good degree; for
which with many gracious affiftances, from time to
time difpenfed, may my foul bow in humble grati-
tude and awful fe.ir, through the continued ftages
of my tried pilgrimage. My dear friends R. J. and
G. I), bad great and good fervicc in the courfe of
thefe meetings; and R. J. feeling an engagement to
e a meeting with the women friends, (none be-
ing held for discipline for them at that fcafon of the
year) pftcr laying it before friends, it was cheerfully
complied with, and a folid profitable meeting it proved.
SARAH G R U B B. 107
R. J. and myfelf, feeling fomething more than a free-
dom to fit with a committee of men friends, appoint-
ed by the national meeting to confider the ftate of
fociety, and complying with it, we were enabled to
feel with friends thereon, and to lay down our res-
pective burdens. The evening preceding our leav-
ing the city, and after the meetings were over, many
friends being collected at our lodgings, we had a
refreihing, inftructive, opportunity of retirement ;
wherein counfel and encouragement were minifter-
ed, and friends parted under a living fenie of the ex-
tension of divine favour to His church and family.
Next day we w r ent to Baltiboys, a very poor fmall
meeting ; after which we proceeded about five miles
further, intending next morning to fet off for
Mountmeilick •, but when all was ready for our de-
parture, a hefitation fprang, and ipread, reflecting
the propriety of cur puriuing the intended plan ;
and the more it was looked at, the more clearly it
■appeared beffc to fit with the few friends feledt, there
having been many not of our profeffion at meeting
the day before. One of our guides, therefore,
kindly undertook to collect the members of that
meeting together •, which was done, and we had
no caufe to repent our ftay, but were rather encour-
aged to truft in future to the turnings of the fpiri-
tual guide, who requires that we fhould be follow-
ers, and not leaders, if we purfue the path of true
peace. Inftead of going to Mountmeilick from Bal-
tiboys, we went to Ballitore that night, and next
day to Athy meeting ; then to Mountmeilick,
Kcntrath, Knockbaiiymaher, Ballynakill, and to
*c8 LIFE.
Carlow to the q ng for Pro-
-rk.ibly low time,
and the rinds of many were b . into a
the coo! ncv, that pre
ngft the : rs of truth in t! , and
b our l< t. Intending from
hence for ' >rd, and the counties c ford
w, vs-e fir ft paid a rifit to the little n
ing at C . it was fmal!, but divine good-
.--.-.. M . . .
thered from fome barretings, doubt -
; and :. the apoftle
I fetl id me hi an hum-
,nce and calm ; be patient, eftal
your hi h ni S n -
retur I to ded
their week day meeting bich we went to
« hich
I i ented fi i ittending by a in my head
: :h ; but : o pro. ithmycom-
. cms to I .
me, after they had
ier to attend the
.unhand
i can.,
c to me, I a trul;-
., and myftre:
ing to be in. I l
to go n
ford, to J IV
whufc c< , throi
.
SARAH G R U 3 B. 109
to my often doubting mind. When through the
defcending of heavenly virtue, my fpirit has been ce-
mented with theirs, and in the unity and covenant
of life, an harmonious exercife has prevailed in me,
either in public or in fecret, I have had renewedly
to admire the gracious condefcenfion of our holy-
Head and High Prieft, in anointing, in any degree,
for a work fo great and awful, and leading into this
excellent fellowship. At "Waterford we ftaid their
week day meeting on third day, which was a favour-
ed time •, and after having likewife divers comforta-
ble religious opportunities with friends of that place,
(there being a quickened remnant growing in the
fpiritual life) we took leave of them under a preci-
ous fenfe of divine fuperintending care, and went to
Foreft, Cooladine, Randal's Mills, Ballinciay, Balli-
cane and Wicklow ; and found an honeft -hearted fet
of friends, who are preferved in a good degree of
confiftency with the principles we profefs : yet there
are others who widely differ in this refpect. Our
kind friend J. W. having met us at Baliicane, we
went in company with him to Dublin on the leventh,
dav of the week, and next dav attended their meet-
ings in Meath-ftreet and Sycamore-alley j at both
which my companions were filent. My mind was
deeply exercifed in them, and as I perceived fome
little opening for public labour, I gave up thereto
under many difcouraging imprefiions ; in part the
effects of a reafoning difpofition, and unprofi-
tably ruminating on the repeated labours of more
qualified inftruments, and the unfuccefsfulnefs of
many of them \ and in part, I truft, of 2
no The LIFE of
I and neceflary jealoufy over myfclf, loft I
fhould be the means of conveying a lifelcfs multi-
ity of words, or be found feeding the people,
when the divine word might proclaim a fa ft. 1'ut
it awfully fprang in my mind, that if ever fo fmall
a warning was given me to deliver, and I concc
it, the blood of thofe. for whom it was intended
I 'it, according to the declaration of the Moft
High to the Prophet, be required at my hands. As
this vifit to the nation was clofing, a fecret prayer
was begotten in me, that we might be enabled, as
faithfully and willingly to finifh the work, as,
through humbling operations, we were refigned to
begin it ; which, to the praife of His grace who puts
forth and goes before His own fheep, we were
ftrengthened to do, and had afrefh to difcover that
His ways are not as our ways, nor His thoughts as
our thoughts. When we apprehended ourfelves
at liberty to fail from that city, and had agreed
with a captain bound for Whitehaven for our paf-
fage there, the wind proved contrary, and we found
it fafe to look around us, that if any little fervice
was omitted, it might then be performed. This we
were ready to think was not much the cafe, having
attended their men's and women's meetings on third
duv, where, through divine ability gracioufly afford-
ed, we had a clofe, fearching, and humbling feafon :
but now ftanding in the resignation, not being de-
tained of ourfelves, divers opportunities for public
and private labour unexpectedly Opened, generally
ing to invite the ignorant, and to encourage
the iinctrc and drooping minds to a frith in the
SARAH G R U B B. in
fuificiency of the gift of God in tbemfelvcs, for the
falsification of the foul, and the neceflary fupply
of every fpiritual enjoyment, and qualification ac-
ceptably to worihip ; which muffc now, as formerly,
be fought for, in the beauty of holinefs, and in ncw-
nefs of life. The wind proving contrary, we ftaid
over another firft day, when my companions G. D
and R. J. were enabled to bring up living ftcnes of
memorial, to the fealing I truft of their teftimony
on the fpirits of many , and my cup of affectionate
fellowfhip feemed to overflow in fecret. The next
day a gale rofe in our favour, which we thankfully
accepted, and were gently wafted over by it in twen-
ty five hours, having had as pleafant a voyage as we
could wifh for, fkknefs excepted ^ and for the holy
directing and protecting power of immortal good-
nefs, we were gratefully humbled. We ftaid one
night at Whitehaven after our landing, and next
day attended their v/eek-day meeting, which was a
low time. Soon after it clofed, we fet off for Grey-
fouthen, where R. J. and I ftaid that night. Our
much loved friend and companion G. D. and his
wife (who had been with us ever fince we were at
Cooladine) finding it conduce moft to their peace
to ftay the quarterly meeting for Cumberland, to be
held the week after •, and we having a profpwft of
attending the quarterly meeting for the county of
York, to be held at Leeds ; we found the time for
cur feparation was come ; and had to commemorate
the kindnefs of infinite wifdom, in fo cafting us to-
gether, and cementing us, according to our mea-
ii2 The LIFE of
Here we took an afl
rectionate farewell of each
We {"topped a: C -.touth in our way to
-
our : J. and B. D. and their children •, and be-
fore we left them, the fpring of heavenly confola-
tion arofe, and refrefhed both vilito-
h grateful 1. we fet off, and reached
a plea-
be mo: . we were favoured in
good time to get to K r compani-
tnopp- IR. W.'s chil-
. iince fhe wa=
honour. as a h jred
d R. J. raffed and
Bentham meet e was I before,
and a drcft towards them, we ?
;rth of the twelfth nv
» had a good mc
the few • re, and fome others -
e in. N -ngwewent to \ f m meet-
ing, which was an ex*:- but ended in
beloved compa-
nion was publi- : an evening
meeting appointed :. '-, we i re in
. -nd it - ion.
Fro- • the twenty fixth, wc
t to Leeds, t with i
and nv n. The qnar-
r 111 the
■
SARAH G R U B B. 113
ral fittings thereof, I had undoubtedly to believe
that mv companion was in " - rht place ; a-
was thankful, under the consideration that we w-
there in better wifdcm than our own, and wsre
found worthy to bear a fhare in the weight of fufFer-
ings, which generally attend thefe large sficmblies.
Rebecca Jones being difpofed to fpend a little time
in reft with our mutual friend C. H. we parted
after our quarterly meeting, and I came homewards,
with a deilre rightly to feel my way, whether to con-
tinue a while longer with this my endeared rriend,
in her religious fervke, or to give up and furren-
der my certificate : for though I had a pr:
when I left home, of viiiting the v. ;uern part of this
nation, to which my certificate was aifo addrefTcJ,
vet if the commiiSon fhouid ciofe fooner than I look-
J
ed for, mv compliance- therewith appears as necen;.-
ry, as it would be if it inould extend further ; fee-
ing that the virtue of all our religious movements
connits in the divine putting forth, and the continu-
ation of holv anointing ; which we have abundant
caufe to acknowledge, is no: at cur con:
IM The LIFE of
CHAP. IV.
Account of her Vifit to feme of the tueflern Ccunliis
of
Knvlav.d.
A FEW months after her return from Ireland,
fhe felt a renewed engagement to accompany
her friend R. Jones, on a vifit to fome parts of the
weftern counties in England. Of the principal parts
of this vifit, fhe has left the following journal.
After my return from Ireland, my beloved com-
panion R. J. being detained in Yorkihire, on divers
accounts, for three months, I was thereby ftt at
liberty to adjuft fome family concerns at home,
and pay fome vifits to neighbouring meetings as
truth appeared to open the way ; efpecially to Whit-
by, Scarborough, Bridlington, Hornfea, and Hull ;
in the courfe of which my mind was, in the needful
time, mercifully fupported with renewed iupplies of
holy help, though, in general, in a low and dripped
ftate ; fearing left, in the cxcrcifc of the gift, a zed
which is not according to true knowledge, nor origi-
nating in that baptifm of fpirit wherein the crea-
ture is humbled, ihould fo mix with the divine
openings, as to carry away the feet of the mind
from that fafe (landing in the deeps, which is juftly
compared to the bottom of Jordan. Here, it is nc-
SARAH G R U B B. 115
ccflary for true gofpel miniftcrs, fteadihy to abide,
with the weight of the fervice they are engaged
in upon their moulders, till the fpirits of the aflem-
bled are, in lbme degree, attracted to the promifed
land, the new heaven and the new earth, wherein
dwelleth the righteoufneis of faith, and where fpiri-
tual worfhip is rightly performed, in the beauty of
holinefs and newnefs of life. To be inflrumental
in the divine hand of thus, in any meafure, convert-
ing the fpirits of thofe to whom we may be led to
miniiler, requires an unction altogether unmixed j
but when revolt, backfliding, and a fuperficial fpirit,
have been neceffarily unveiled, I have, fometimes,
diftreffingly found, that fome of my armour was
carnal *, and O ! how hath all that was within me
been humbled at the difcovery, that the Lord's
righteous controverfy with the works of darknels,
had not been righteoufly upheld, nor the door of
elcape therefrom wifely opened. An encreafe of
experience convinces me, that preaching is a myfte-
ry which every one exercifed therein, has need to be
often induftrioufly, and impartially learning, as far
as concerns themfelves ; and where this is the cafe,
I am abundantly perfuaded, that our dependance
ir.uft be drawn from the fentiments of thofe friends
to whofe judgment we are moft attached, in order
rightly to diflinguifh betwixt the unity of the one
1 infallible fpirit, and their partiality to us, and to be
weighed in the juft balance of the fanctuary, where
we are fometimes found defective, even when akl
around us fpeak peace.
\\6 The LIFE of
" My dear hufband accompanied me in this little
round : his Sympathizing mind, and care for my
preservation every way, was truly Strengthening, and
afforded frequent occafions of humble thankfulncls
to the Author of all good, who had fo bountifully
provided for me, both in fpiritual and temporal
things. After our return home we gave up house-
keeping, not with a concluiion that we fhould re-
move from England, but under an apprehenfion that
it was right to take that ftcp, as the way open-
ed for my being again united in fervice with my be-
loved companion R. J. and my hufband had no
proSpect of being fettled during my abfence. We
therefore removed our furniture, and ourfelves
to York, the quarterly meeting there being at hand;
after which, the I ft of 4th month, 1786, I went
to Ackworth to meet my companion, who had
gone there the day before. We ftaid there on firft
day, and found fome clofe and neceffhry labour, not
only in public, but in private opportunities, amongft
the mafters, miftrcifes, and fervants, federally •, for
the Enemy of all good hath proved himfeif bufy, in
endeavouring to fow his tares amongft the good feed
in that inftitution and family ; and unlefs thofe on
whom the weight and care of it molt devolves, keep
in view the neccflity of attending more to the holy
Oracle in their movements, than to the ftrength of
their own wifdom and understanding, it will lofe
the luftre that truth would put upon it, and become
the nurfery of a worldly fpirit, though difguifed
• ranee of religious form. 'I is in
that family 1 fuffcring, v. refiling feed, an exerciftd
SARAH G R U B B. 117
remnant, which though fmail, is a means, under the
divine blefling, of keeping open the fpring of life ;
and if fuch keep their places, there is reafon to hope
that more will be added to their number, and,
through the influence of their example, the truth,
in its own fimplicity, gain ground, inftead of the dif-
guifed fpirit of error. A falutation of love flow-
ed to fuch, under a fenfe whereof we left them,
fave our worthy friend W. S. who went with us to
Wakefield, where divers are under convincement,
and fome of them appear to be rightly fo. Here
we had an open, inllruclive opportunity j and from
thence went to Bradford, and next day proceeded to
Manchefter, where we attended their week day
meeting ; in which my companion was greatly fa-
voured to dip into the ftate of the feed, and profita-
bly to vifit it, and filence was I believe rightly my
lot. From Manchester we went to Stockport, Macclef-
field, Morley, and fo to Warrington, to the month-
ly meeting there ; where again I thought my compa-
nion had eminent fervice, and clofe Searching la-
bour, wherewith I felt a fpiritual travail, and Sym-
pathetic mourning over the great carnality, and de-
parture from the way of peace, which greatly pre-
vail in that, and the neighbouring places. Though
there is a peculiar people, and a royal priefthood,
in that monthly meeting, yet as the number in a
very different fpirit, is great, the pure life is pre-
vented from circulating, and purifying the temple.
So that the profpedl, amongft the youth efpecially, is
exceedingly difcouraging j diflipation, or the gilded
corruptions of human nature, having poiTeffion,
n3 The L I V E ov
and, like the ftxong man armed, keeping the ho life
and all the jof in peace : and 'till a ftrong-
er than he, by the fpfcrit of judgment and of burn-
ing, diflodges him of his hold, cafts him out, and
fpoils all his goods, there is but little room to expec"l
fuch to den ;e unto i ther . by the livelinefs of
their fpirits, the circumlpe&ion of their conduct, and
a rightly feafoned converfation, that they are ac-
quainted with the efficacious virtue of true religion.
From Warrington, my huiband returned to York-
ihire, in company with William Rotch of Nantuc-
ket, and we back into Chefhire. It was rather a
gloomy parting to me, being very unwell with a
rheumatic complaint in my head, and more depref-
fed in mind than 1 was free to exprefs to anv ;
which is often the cafe with me, when under a fenle
of the awfulnefs of the work I am embarked in, of
the little effeel it has on the minds of many, and of
my own exceeding greal weaknefs, and apparent un-
fitnefs for engaging with facred things; fo that my
way oft feems to lie by the valley and ihadow of
death ; where I feel myfelf fubjec~t to fearful appre-
henfions, and a deep and gjoomy excrcife. Ncver-
thelefs, to the praife of the divii ce, my foul
can thankfully and humbly acknowledge that,
through what appeared the i'mallcft grain of faith,
prei'ervation hath been experienced, and ftrength to
afcend, in the Lord's time, that holy mountain
where nothing can hurt or deftroy ; becaul'e the
creature, audits . ■■ ■ rat evils arc fubjci'tcd, and
acfei's to the feaft of fat things, and of w • i re-
fined, is gracioufly afforded, to the renewed fupport
\
SARAH G R U B B. 119
of the drooping mind, which was ready, but a little
before, to caft away its confidence, and fay, " the
Lord hath forgotten me." Thus, as by a tender
father, are we dealt with, under thofe proving dif-
penfations, which are effentially neceffary for car-
rying forward the work of faniftification in the foul,
and a preparation to receive the infcription of,
U Holinefs unto the Lord." When I coniider the
necefiity hereof, a fear, on the other hand, often
arifes left it fhould be partially or fuperficially effect-
ed ; and a fervent craving of fpirit, that the refin-
ing operations of the Holy Ghoft and Fire, may fo
perforin their affigned office, as that every fpecious
appearance of felf-love may be confumed, and the
fpring of aclion, in the performance of both religi-
ous and moral duties, rendered pure. Thus vari-
oully, is the attention of the travailing foul turned j
and if the pure difcoveries of truth are but the
object fingly fought for, Fie who created light out of
darknefs, and hath fown it for the righteous, doth,
in times of our greateft extremity reveal himfelf to
be the Lord Almighty. From Warrington we went
to Sutton, Franley, Newton, Chefter, Nantwich,
and Middlewich, when our viiit to Cheshire feemed
ended, where, as in other places, we had to view,
and mourn over, the defolation which hath prevail-
ed amcngft the profefibrs of truth ; fo that the Hea-
then may query, " Where is their God ?"
Our next fla^e was to Leek, and fo to Cole-
brook Dale ; we had meetings both at the New and
Old Dale, which were favoured, ftrengthening fea-
fons 5 by ability being gracioufly afforded and ac-
120 The LIFE of
ceptcd, to fink down deep into differing with the
precious f( ; and a little exercifed remnant were
md wreftling in fpirit for the divine blefling, who
re in the renewings of life, and iniuiKi \e
d towards them. Divers of tl g-
er fort amongft them, nave been vifited by affile*
tion i the day of the Lord hath come upon all that
was lifted up, and the projects, like the Chips of
Tarfhifh, which were intended to go to fetch gold,
have been broken early in their fetting out, as at
F/.iongeber, and all their pleafant 1 fpoilecl ;
which have evidently been pei I in mercy, that
their affections might b ened from things tran-
fient and perifhing; and, inftead thereof, durable
riches and i ! their inheritance.
Bur as this work is great and glorious, and cannot
be erTec r ic<J, fave by the humbling proceffes of the
work of fanctifi in the foul, a deep eng go-
ment dwelt upon my mind, that thofe in whom this
work is begun, may by pre from flinching
under it, or taking themfelvi , or one another, as
out of the furnace, before it effecl: the g lid for
which it was prepared ; and that, being redeemed
from the fuperlicies of reiigi cperience, to an
entire dependancc on the holy purifying >f
immortal life, they niiy approve themleives the
humble followers of Chrift; ami, through the effi-
cacy of his own fpirit, be qualified to ite the
caufe of truth ami righteoufhefs. From heme we
went to Shrewfbury, an il two meetings there
on firft day, whi( h wen favoured opportunities ■, t! e
latter was public, snd a great many of the to v.,
SARAH G R U B B. 121
people attended. There are fome vifited young
people in this place, and a profpect of a revival
comfortably affected our minds. It was here to be
determined whether we mould turn towards Wor-
cefterfhire, Herefordfhire, &c. or into Wales, which
was occalion of deep enquiry to find out the good
and acceptable way ; and as our minds were fingle
herein, we were favoured to unite in the conclufion,
that it was better now to turn into Wales, a ftep
we had no reafon to repent on any account, finding
a peaceful ferenity attending our minds through the
courfe of a folitary travel therein ; and fuch a fupply
of ftrength to dip into, and vifit the feed in thofe
parts, as was caufe of humble thankfulnefs to the
Author of every good and fpiritual gift. His eye
perceives the moil obfcure parts of his own creation,
and gracioufly compaffionates His humble fuppliant
children, who, under a fenfe of their own wants,
are carting all their care upon him, and looking
fingly to his bountiful hand for food convenient for
them, both fpiritual and temporal, in preference to
the luxurious enjoyment of tranfitory things ; deflr-
ing that blefling which makes truly rich, and where-
unto no deadly forrow is added. We were com-
forted in finding a number of this fort in Wales,
particularly at Tuthynigarrig and Llanidloes ;
though, at the former, amongft divers of their mem-
bers, a worldly fpirit and lukewarmnefs about the beit
things prevail. We were alfo at Efkergoch, a very
poor defolate place every way •, but fome folid people
not profeffing with us, attending the meeting, were
G
i22 The LIFE
O F
u help to it ; and my beloved companion was drawn
in the language of confolation to vifit fomc of theie,
who were as fheep wandering upou the mountai
and panting after a (hepherd. It was from this
place we went to Llanidloes, where we had a hn-ge
public meeting, and from tin nee to Rayadar, a place
where there are no friends, but where we had a fa-
tisfactory meeting ainongft the town's people, in one
of the rooms of the inn; and after it went to Pales,
•and were at meeting there next day, which was a la-
borious, fearching opportunity, many diforderly
walkers being there. We then ftept out of Y>
and vifited the few friends at Almilly anil Leo-
minfter, in Herefordfhire. The firft is very fmall,
having fcarce any weight to fupport a meeting ; but
many folid neighbours attending, it was a precious
lively opportunity, and my fpirit was humbled, and
awfully reverenced the condefcending goo of
our Almighty Helper, whole loving kin,: :cr
than life, and the lifting up of the light of his coun-
tcnance, than great riches. The meeting at Lco-
minitcr was low and trying. We went from hence
to Troy near Monmouth in South Y\ re we
lodged one night, and next morning fet oil" for Pon-
tipool to the quarterly meeting, which was to be
held there the firft day followin . Our dear and
much valued friends T. Corbyn, II. Will: ins and
T. II. overtook us upon the road; we were
mutually glad to fee each Other, and alii) to feel
ch others fpirits in the meeting', w led toge-
ther at Pontipool and Cardiff, whither we went
SARAH G R U B B. 123
(after the quarterly meeting was ended) to attend
the Welch yearly meeting there. My mind, 0.1
drawing near to that place, was awfully affected, in
a renewed fenfe of the important ftation of a gofpel
minifter, which, the more my understanding is
opened, the more I perceive it to call for a watchful
care to keep in the ftation, and to preferve it un-
blameable, by endeavouring to dwell low enough
with the gift, fo as rightly to diftinguifh between
a filent union with the feed in meetings, (where-
in we fometimes fympathize with the concerns of
others), and our own public fervice for the caufe.
And I was thankful in feeling my fpirit humbly con-
trited, under a fenfe of my own weaknefs, and the
commemoration of infinite kindnefs in times paft ;
and I fecretly fupplicated that the approaching fo-
lemnity might be gracioufly owned with the virtue of
divine life, immediately imparted from the great
Minifter of minifters ; whereby I felt, in a good de-
gree, Strengthened for my own meafure of exercife,
which proved altogether in filence. But this was not
the cafe with fome others j with a few of whom a
fenfe of near unity attended my fpirit, both in a fe-
cret travail of fpirit, and in the exercife of their
gifts ; never that I remember, being fo fenfible of
the purity of that life which, and which only, quick-
ens fervices in the church, and qualifies the centred
mind, to judge righteoufly concerning public of-
ferings in meetings. Whatever has a tendency to
clofe up the fpring of this life, by cafting rubbifh
thereinto, inftead of induftrioufly removing it, fuch
as the fhallow, fuperfkial judgment <jf the natural
G2
124 The LIFE 01
min J, its old experiences and wifdom, which are held
out of the life, can never availingly invite the wrefHing
foul, that is panting after the pure milk of the di-
vine word, to the fountain of fpiritual conlolation, or
refrefh the chriftian pilgrim in his journey heaven-
wards. O the purity of that yr . which is hid with
Chrift in God ! It cannot uc fupported but by the
flefh and blood, the virtue or divine nature of the
Son •, nor can it unite with that which is not conge-
nial to itfelf. There is a miniftry which, like the
whirlwind, the earthquake, and the fire, makes ap-
parent effects upon nature, makes it, throws it into
confulion, and kindles it with urrtemperetl zeal ; but
proves very deficient in fettling it upon the fure foun-
dation ; or introducing it into that reft which is pre-
pared for the people of God, who ceafe from all
their own works \ or teaching it to diftinguiih
between the voice of the Shepherd, and the voice
of the ftrangcr. Hence, many, otherwife well dif-
poled minds, have got bewiluered, their attention
diverted from the one great Object, and fixed upon
lacrifices of their own ; which, in time, are fo de-
pended upon for rightcoufnefs, that the hunger
which was once begotten decreafes, and the ftate of
the church of Laodicca becomes theirs ; growing
rich and full, increafing with goods and in need
of nothing ; when alas ! though fpecious their ap-
pearance, their fituatiou is moft wretched, and, in
the light of truth, they are difcovered to (land in
need of every thing. Under thefe confiderations,
aay mind, is often inftruttcd in the neceffity of con-
SARAH G R U B B. 125
fiding only in the Spring of life itfelf, and approv-
ing nothing as religious, but what comes from it,
or is under its preparing, fanctifying power : and
for this end, it is neceffary to be very watchful over
the activity of felf, that the fpirits may be tried,
and my faith proved, whether it is grounded and
eftablUhed upon the right foundation, or is of that
fort that wavers and floats upon any imaginary pre-
fentation, whereby I may be rendered of thofe who
are not to expect any thing at the hand of God,
James, i. 6, 7. There are fo many ways for the
mind, when it is off its guard, to be enfnared either
into fenfible darknefs, or a righteoufnefs of its
own, which is worft of all, that, when cloathed
with a fenfe of my infirmity and weaknefs, I mourn
in fpirit ; and am thankful when, in a grain of una-
dulterated faith, I can fay, " if thou wilt, thou canft
" make me clean," and breathe for the bleffing of
prefervation. From a fear of being inftrumental in
fettling down young people efpecially, in the form
of godlinefs without the power ; and urging them to
an appearance which might create felf-complacence,
and reconcile them to an apprehenfion, that they
are further advanced in the work of religion than rs
really the cafe ; I have often forborne to drop fuch
advice upon the fubject of drefs, amongft thofe who
were inconfiftent in their appearance, as, fome-
times, I felt the teftimony of truth to dictate ; a
departure from true fimplicity herein being general-
ly obvious. At large meetings particularly, where
friends from diftant parts are collected, there is a
G 3
126 T Hi L I f L o i
connderaLle appearance of inconfiftency in cloth-
ing ar Leanour, which, with many other thin;
te a love of the world, and a fellowihip with
its fptrit •, but though a regulation herein is only
a fmall part of the fruit of the good Tree, yet it is as
afluredly a p:.:t, as the more ftriking conftituents of
a chriftian. " Whatfoevar is not of faith is fin," is
a comprehenfive truth, which neither approves an
inconfifteiit, nor a plaufible appearance and conduct,
merelv as fuch ; but wholly condemn, every part of
cur lives which is not governed by the redeeming
Spirit of truth, wherein our faith ihould {land : lb
that, to attain this ftate, to live under the righteous
controul C ae monition, is I apprehend to be a
follower of Chrift, under whofe fpiritual baptifm the
precious is feparated from the vile, and by whofe
:, the chalf, to which the vanities of this life may
be compared, will flee, and leave the wheat, for di-
vine protection, in the heavenly garner. Feeling
my mind drawn to a little folid conversation with a
young woman, to whom I had fell mar unity, and
whom I believed to be under the preparing hand for
ferrice, but diffident in fpirit, and a fuitable oppor-
tunity offering, I accepted it; wherein 1 dropped
a little matter by way of encouragement to her,
in her filcnt fteppings and hidden I ; takil
occafion to oblervc, that as lhc had hitherto b< B
preferved, in a good meafure, independant of human
confolations, fo I wiihed her itinue, be
that the arm of omnip. I was moft eminently re-
in this ftate Of Gn| ' n fs, under furh
fpii . ,s and i " atially no
SARAH G R U B B. 127
ceffary for fanctification. It was a time of mutual
comfort, and I was thankful that I gave up to it.
At Cardiff we met again our beloved brother
G. D. which both he and we rejoiced at. He was
much favoured in feveral of the meetings, efpecially
the public ones, which were large •, but my dear
companion had not much opennefs for public labour,
till the laft opportunity with friends felect -, when
fhe was ftrengthened to vilit the members of our Td-
ciety in a memorable manner ; which wkh fome,
will I truft, be as a nail fattened in a fure place. In
our way from Cardiff to Briitol, to which we were
bound, we flopped at Newport to breakfaft, where
my companion and G. D. felt an inclination to have
a public meeting, which was readily complied with,
and held in a room in the inn ; many came to it>
and it was a favoured opportunity. We then pro-
ceeded on our journey, croffed what is called the
newpaffage, and reached Briftol late that night. We
met with a hofpitable reception from Lydia Hawks-
worth, with whom we fojourned, and next day I
went with my companion and Lydia to fee our be-
loved, honoured friend, C. Phillips, then at J. Hip-
fley's at Congerfbury. She was in a languid ftate of
health, which in fome degree occafioned a depreffion
of fpirits, but her beft life was ftrong, though hid
from herfelf with Chrift in God. She hath been a
faithful, laborious fervant in the church, efpecially
under the exercife of her gift, which was eminent
for its purity, its copioufnefs, and clearnefs •, diftin-
guiming the good and evil trees by reprefenting
G 4
128 The LIFE of
their fruits in their true light. ■ miniilry had
a tendency, to raife into dominion the pure life, and
in fupplioation (he hath been often wonderfully fa-
voured with near accefs, and enabled to caft down
every crown, and to afcribe worfhip and praife, fal-
vation and ftrength, to the Lord God and the
Lamb. Since my mind has been gracioufly vifitcd
with a fenfe of truth, fuch hath been mv fentiment
concerning this great and good woman : but about
two years ago, to my humble admiration, in a feafon
of great proving of fpirit, it was fo renewed and feal-
cd to me, the inward attraction fo flrong, and the evi-
dence that fhc was a faithful follower of the Lamb,
fo undoubted, (a language fweetly flowing through
my mind, " I have chofen her and fhe is mine")
that I not only rejoiced, and was ftrengthened, but
faw the abundant fuperiority of the unfoldings of
truth, to all the prepofTefrion we can receive from
the experience of others; my v. ant of an outward
acquaintance with her being thus amply fupplied by
the gracious condefcenfion of the Head of the
church, who wifely and myftcrioufly unites toge-
ther the large and fmall members of His body, and,
by fuch Connection) makes them more ui'eful to each
other than they know or i .m of themfelves conceive*
Where this union and fenfe is thus received, I a:u
of the belief that nothing but a departure from the
rine life, wherein i chriftian fellowship frauds,
:i ever alter our inw ird Feelings towards the Lord's
Though 1 am often difmayed at the
.t of things within and without, and unce the
time .diaJjJ to, have been ready to fay in mine
SARAH G R U B B. 129
hafte, « all men are liars ;" yet it was matter of renew-
ed confolation and abafement of mind, that on being
in company with our beloved friend, C. Phillips, my
feelings reflecting her were revived, with fweetnefs
and rejoicing. But thefe were mixed with an inex-
preffible fympathy, and fenfe of the bufferings and
floods of the dragon, yea, and of his temptations as
in the wildernefs \ where, though fhe hungered,
yet, with unconquered fortitude, nobly refifted every
importunity, to command the ftones to be made
bread. Having fuffered with her Lord and Matter,
and been preferved through many temptations, my
fecret belief was that life will again arife abundant-
ly in her, and her garments, even in this ftate of
mutability, be warned and made white in the blood
of the fuffering, yet victorious Lamb. And oh !
how did all that was within me bow under this per-
fuafion, and under a fenfe that the difciples of
Jefus have, in proportion to their ftrength and gifts,
a meafure of afflictions to fill for their own, and the
body's fake, which is His church. Here my re-
flections on myfelf were exceedingly awful ; I con-
fidered that I was juft entering the field, unfkilled
in war, with the armour but newly put on, and ex-
ceedingly uncertain whether I fhall not fall a prey to
mine enemy. But O Lord ! teach, I pray thee ,
mine hands to war, and my fingers to fight, even
the good fight of faith, in the fuffkiency of thy
power, and againft every intrusion of my own •, that
thou, in all things, mayft be glorified, and if I periih,
it may be at thy footftool !
G 5
130 The LIFE of
The yearly meeting at Briftol came on, and
lifted three clays. It afforded many opportunit.
for differing, aad deep gloomy cwuuie, to thole
who travailed in fpirit for the arilings of life, which,
nevertheless, for a lhort fcaibn, in divers of them,
fenfibly circulated ; hut it leems as if, for want of
vcffels rightly prepared, the current was often turn-
ed backward, and retired again into oUcuritv,
where a baptized number endeavoured patiently to
dwell y amongft whom was my beloved companion,
who found but little liberty to relieve her burdened
mind. The firft day after the yearly meeting \
were at Claverham meeting, which was a favoured
inftruclive oppo , and returned to Briftol to
their evening meeting ; at the conclufion of which,
my companion had to revive the meliage lent to
lle/ekiah, and, with evident fire I and clearnt
to apply it to lbme there \ young man who v.
then in the vigour of life, was foon feized with an
epidemic fever, and in a feAv weeks removed fn
this ftage of mortality -, and fecial i who took
the diforder, narrowly efcaped with their lives ; to
whom the previous admonition, to fet their hoilfes
in order, was like-wife feafonahle. Next clay we
went to Sudbury, to the quarterly meeting I
Clouceftcr and Wilts. Here we found a great wan:
of true zeal, and love to the caufe of truth, where-
in living members are united in harmonious Labour^
and cemented together in the covenant of life ;
which preferves from a difpofition that would look
onlv to felfifh things, and enlarges the heart in an
Upright care for the profperity of Others. From
SARAH G R U B B. i 3 »
Sudbury we took meetings at Bath, Wefbury, La-
▼ington, Devizes, Marlborough, and Uxbridge, in
our way to London, being favoured to get fafe there
the thirty flrft of fifth month, which afforded us a
few days to reft, before the yearly meeting began.
This meeting opened, to thole whofe fpiritual facul-
ties were alive in the truth, a field of exercifing la-
bour ; wherein a fteady, watchful care was neceiTary
for all to keep to their own ftations and vocations,
with an attentive eye to the great Mafter ; as a bufy
indifcreet interference of His fervants, ever inter-
rupts the beautiful order and profperity of Hia
work. The felect meetings were to me, as they ge-
nerally are at our yearly meetings, (though not all
alike attended with life) feafons of deep infiruction,
which I was made humblinglyfenlibie could not be the
cafe, by any capacity of my own to render them fo,
but by being admitted (however undeiervedly) for a
fhort time, by the Mafter of affemblies, into the
heavenly treafury, where the faint's provifion, the
armour of righteoulhefs, and the juft balance of the
fanctuary, are all to be found ; and where, as we
deeply and quietly abide, we are furniihed with ask
unerring perception of what, amongft the many
offerings in the vifible church, proceeds from the
divine repofitory, and what doth not 5 fo that m-.li-
viduals thus gathered, though in an obfcure exercile^
may lay with the apoftle, and which I heard revived
in one of thefe meetings, " in every thing I am'in-
ftructed." And as in the opening of fpiritual
things, and being favoured in fome degree w:t?h a
fenfe of truth, refpecling the fubjects of deliberation
132 The LIFE of
■which come before thefe meetings the natural difpo-
fition fometimes prompts us to make public rema:
confonant with our feelings ; I have, thus far, found
it neccflary to fct a double watch upon this fide,
left I ihould ftep forward unbidden to put a hand
to the ark, (the real ftate of which Uzza faw as well
as I) and fo, like him, unavailingly labour, and intro-
duce death upon myfclf; proving unworthy of an
admittance into the treafury, and of being entrufted
with divine fecrcts, which are net to be revealed
but in the divine will, and under the fenfible directi-
on of the High Fricit of our profefiion ; that the
bread which we minifter, being given us by Him,
may alfo be bleffed, and that, however apparently
coarfe and infufficient, its efficacy and extenfive ufe-
fulnefs may abound to thofe who are fed, and re-
dound to His praifc whofe will is our fanclificaton.
As an attentive care on this hand is ncceffary, I
likewife perceived a danger on the other, when, in
the fimplicity and nakednefs of truth, and confe-
quently unadorned with any thing goodly in my
f.-vn eyes, a right feafon has been difcovcrcd to ex-
prefs a few words, and through unprofitable diffi-
dence, and undervaluing the fmailnefs of the ap-
pearance, I have put by thefe little openings to duty,
's was more than once the cafe, during the fit-
tings of the felecl meetings this year, and which con-
tributed to my own incicafing wcaki.efs. So that,
whilft we are defirous to keep our own hearts, and
be preftrved from prodigality in imparting our reli-
gious feelings, we ought alfo to ftand rtfigned to the
fecrct intimations of truth, in order to approve cur-
SARAH G R U B B. 133
felves good ftewards of the manifold grace of God ;
advancing from one degree of favour, acceptance,
and communion with Him, to another, and thus
become eftablifhed before Him as children without
rebuke. The meetings for difcipline of women
friends became exceedingly weighty to me, as the
friend who was clerk laft year declined the office,
and my name was mentioned by divers for that fer-
vice. I fought to object, under an awful fenfe of
the weightinefs of that ftation, efpecially in fo large
and newly eftablifhed a meeting, and with the fee-
blenefs of my qualifications for it ; but I foon felt all
refiftance chained down in me, and a fecret, fervent
breathing begotten for that holy affiftance, which I
knew to be fuperior to every effort of my own with-
out it : for though a degree of exertion is necefTary,
and the natural faculties of mind called upon to fer-
vice, yet I faw they are no longer inftrumental in
helping forward the caufe of truth and righteoufnefs,
than whilft they are actuated by divine love and life,
and abide in the faith, without the government of
which, they are no better than founding brafs, and a
tinkling cymbal. Under this humbling perfuafion,
I took my feat, having E. T. and S. D. to affift ;
and the bufinefs of the meeting opened, which
proved, in the feveral fucceeding fittings, a profita-
ble fervice, introducing women friends, more gene-
rally than heretofore, into an exercife on their own,
their families, and the church's account ; for want
of which, great declenfion from the virtue of true
religion, and the fimplicity it leads into, has long la-
mentably fpread amongft us as a people. And fince,
134 The LIFE of
in the turnings and overturnings of the great Con-
troller of events, a women's yearly meeting is efta-
blifhed, and for thcie two laft years hath been rc-
gularly opened in correspondence with the feveral
quarterly meetings, in order more deeply to enter
into the ftate of fociety, as it is feen in the truth,
a necefiity was evidently difcovered from meeting to
meeting, for friends to encreafe their acquaintance
with the light, which only makes manifeft, and
without which our judgment is exceedingly imper-
fect ; and when this is obtained, not only to work
in it, but to work wifely in it, endeavouring to fup-
prefs a dilpofition which is not purely intent upon
hing the witnefs in each other, even when under
the necefiity of humblingly difplaying that chriftian
virtue, of rendering good for evil, and of being wil-
ling to endure all things. Chriftian condefceniion
is one of the great wheels whereby the caufe of
truth is advanced, amongft rightly exercifed mem-
bers, in meetings for discipline. When a burden
refts on the mind of any, which in fimplicity is re-
moved, it adds greatly to its value, and recommends
it to thole to whom it is offered, when fubmitted in
the (pirit of true meckiu Is, and no inclination dif-
covered to urge that out of the truth, which at lirit
was delivered with the favour of it; even though
it may leem to undergo perlccution, by that wiidom
in others which is from beneath, and is carnal ; for
a blelling belongs to thole who rightly endure per-
fecution, and being reviled, revile not again.
To difcriminate between our own fpirits, and.
i when contending for the faith, reQU
SARAH G R U B B. 13$
great finglenefs of heart, and opennefs to felf-con-
vi&ion, which I have ibrrowfully oblerved too few
arrive at, or dwell in ; and hence we are deprived
of an encreafe in the encreafe of God, the fruit-
bearing branches not being fo effectually purged, as
to enable them to bring forth more good fruit. — O
the beauty of the living branches, when they abide
in the vine, draw their lap from the root, and retain
only an holy emulation with each other ! a preferv-
ing canopy would fuch form in meetings for difcip-
line, as well as worfhip, and many who are light in
their fpirits, refembling the fowls of the air,, would
be induced to lodge under it. No boafting, no felf-
ieekingj- no fpirit that would rend or tear the tender
feelings of any feeble traveller, could here have any
place ; becaufe being branches which bring not forth
good fruit, they are cut off and caft into the fire.
But as, in the prefent mixed ftate of things, and es-
pecially in thefe meetings, where friends are untrain-
ed to the public exercife of their gifts, and unaccuf-
tomed to fit under a diverfity of fentiments, occa-
fions cannot fail of being furnilhed for the trial of
chriftian virtues, I was renewedly convinced, of the
neceffity which thole who act in the ftation of
clerks have to be clear in their views, by dwelling
near enough to the fpirit of the gofpel, fo as to receive
qualifications therefrom, in pure wifdom,.to Strength-
en or make way for that lowly plant which is righte-
ous, and boafts not itfelf in the garden of the
Lord ; but to which the promife and blefiing belong,
«l for all the trees of the field fhall know, that I*
the Lord, have brought down the high tree, and ex*
tj* The LIFE 01.
alted the low tree, have dried up the green tree,
and caufed the dry tree to flourifh ;" yea, the val-
leys are exalted and the mountains reduced, when
the feed of immortal life reigns, and fways its pure
fceptre in the afiemblies of the people of God. The
attention of my mind was, therefore, fecretly attract-
ed to the Father of lights, by whofe powerful difco-
veries I favr myfelf ; and notwithstanding the bufi-
nefs of the meeting almoft conftantly employed me,
yet I was favoured to feel a frequent abftractednefs,
and ample opportunities, under a prevailing fenfe of
my own weaknefs, fervently to petition the Lord to
be with my fpirit, to keep me patient in my prefent
employ, meek in my demeanour, and truly a- tenant
to His caufe and people. And I may with thankful-
nefs acknowledge, to the praife of His grace, which
is fufficient for all the wants of His children, that,
however deficient in many refpecls for the ftation,
I comfortably felt divine ftrcngth and wifdom
underneath ; wherein the precious unity of the one
fpirit, not only with the prefent, but divers abfent
friends, confolated my often drooping mind. Not-
withstanding the foregoing obfervations, the meet-
ings, in general, were attended with living virtue,
and the humble travailcrs refrefhed and inftrueled
therewith.
After the yearly meeting was over, my hufband
and I ftaid a few days about London, as did my
beloved companion R. J. to whom I ftill felt bound
in the fervice which flie was engaged in ; and there-
fore fct out again with her for the weftern counties,
the feventecnth. of the fixth month. We took the
SARAH G R U B B. 137
meetings of Staines, Bafmgftoke, Whitchurch, An-
dover, Salisbury, Rumfey, and Ringwood, in our
way to Fordingbridge, where the quarterly meeting
for Hampfhire was held.
It was a time of fome degree of favour and en-
couragement, to a few honeft-hearted friends in that
county ; fome of whom are under a renewed viiita-
tion of divine mercy. From hence we went to the
quarterly meeting of Dorfet, held at Pool ; in which
my dear companion was enabled to difcharge her ex-
ercifed mind of a load which fhe found there, in a
powerful manner ; the ftate of that county being
very low, the living fcarcely able to bear the dead.
We then proceeded to the meetings of Shaftfbury,
Marnhill, Sherborne, and Yeovil, where my dear
hufband left us, intending for Briftol, and from
thence to Ireland. On this occailon, I felt a fecret
breathing for the continuance of the Lord's protect-
ing providence, both with refpect to the fafety of
the body, and the prefervation of our minds in His
fear, and an increafe in His favour.
From Yeovil we went to Puddemore, Long-
fntton, Ilminfter, Chard, Bridport, and fo to Exeter,
where we found, as in fome of the foregoing places,
a few innocent, concerned friends ; but the want of
that baptifm which initiates into the church of
Chrift, builds up the members into a fpiritual houfe,
a holy temple in the Lord, where He prefides and
minifters, was fenfibly felt j and yet the language of
encouragement to prefs forward to this ftate, appear-
ed to us to be the language of truth. In general,
the fpirit of the world, though often difguifed, fo
138 The L I F E of
much prevails, that before the right foundation can
be difcovered, a fpeckras pile of buildings wants pul-
ling down ; and therefore for minifters rightly to
vifit meetings and individuals in this ftate, requires
foundnefs of judgment, ftrcngth in the pure faith,
patient perfeverance and righteous zeal; all of
which, when I ice myfelf, I feel the want of *. Wc
* The following paflages arc extracted from her
letters : 9th of ;th month, 1786. As I trull our
alliance to each other in fpirit, is ftronger than the ties
of nature, it is not (we may conclude) inconfiftent
therewith, to impart to each other without ftraitnefs,
in the circulation of mutual love and renewed fympa-
thy ; for without this quickening experience) all our com-
munications mud be lifelefs and infipid. How excellent
is the life of truth ! the want of it in myfelf, and i:i
others, is a daily burden to my mind ; and the burden
bearers, in places where we come, being very few, ren-
ders it dill more heavy. — To lay that the ftate of the fo-
ciety is low in thefe weftern parts is fo general, and fo juA
a complaint, that there is a d of its beiug taken
up without feeling fufliciently the fpirit of moun.
" Thirteenth of 7th month 17N6. We endeavour
quietly to get forward ; and by the continued fuf-
taining evidence, that the heft lhength is graciouflj
near to aflift in the needful time, and the blefEng
which makes truly rich fomctimes revealed in the midit
of our poverty, wc arc preferved, thus far, in a degree
of thankfulnefs to the gr( plier < t all the neccf-
fities of His people; though often attended with the
1 of mourning over the fcattered ren of a once
flourifhing heril I 1 ionic places there is
but little to vifit) yet not being a people who!!; given up
to reproach, and the pure feed Hill groaning lor delive-
, .1 1. tie room •» leit to labour; and here and
SARAH G R U B B. 139
ftaid their firft day meeting at Exeter, and then
went to Kingfbridge, taking a little meeting at New-
ton Bulhel in our way, and to Plymouth, where we
attended their monthly meeting ; which is in fo
weak a ftate, as to be far fhort of fupporting the
dignity of chriftian difcipline in its own fpirit ; and
this is lamentably the cafe in many other places.
It is only as the gathered churches become fenfible
of their deplorable fituation, look beyond their own
natural abilities, to the well of life in themfelves,
and get low enough to draw water thereout, that a
restoration of the power will be witneffed, which
is Jefus in the midft of them. We alfo attended
their meetings the firft day following, which were
deeply exercifing ; but our gracious Helper was near 3
there an exercifed member dwells, with whom, when-
ever they were found, our minds could not but dip into
near fympathy ; fo that any little opening to fervice, in
fuch defolate places, ought not to be declined, but ra-
ther cherifhed in confidence that the good Hufbandman
will again plough and fow His plantation, and blefs the
labour of thofe He puts forth. I cannot fay that this
is an expectation which hath abundantly attended my
mind, in our pafling along ; but, juft as I write, a little
hope is renewed, that the vineyard will again profper
by a right and necefTary extirpation of the briers, the
thorns, and the noxious weeds ; and, by an holy cul-
tivation, be prepared for the true plants, wherever
fcattered, being enclofed within divine protection, and
rendered fruitful in holinefs, fo as to be fitted to re-
ceive the heavenly Vliitant, and made able to endure the
northern and the ibuthern blafts. O that this hope may
not perifh, but prove true in a future day, when the
earth is lhaken of her reft 1
140 The LIFE of
ftrcngthening to an honcft labour ; wherein the right
way to tke kingdom, was proved to be widely differ-
ent from that wherein many are walking ; and
under this help, a degree of holy folemnity was
felt."
In addition to the preceding journal, which ap-
pears to be left fhort of the vifit, the following ex-
tracts have been made from her letters; which,
though not containing a regular, continued ac-
count, may afford further information and in-
struction.
" The prefent journey with rny beloved
friend, has been a frefh trial of the uprightnefs of
my defire after dedication ; for after returning from
Ireland, I earneftly fought quietude and obfeurity, to
fettle down amongft my valuable connections and en-
joy their fociety, or the benefits of folitude ; but the
reward of peace was not the attendant of thefe
profpects ; nor did the cloud appear to reft upon my
tabernacle : the words, " Time is fhort," were
deeply inscribed upon my heart, fo that one thing or
other bid me take a few more fteps in the tribulated
path of gofpel obedience."
** I have felt myfelf thefe few days back,
as near the end of my prefent commiffion, my faith,
patience, and every chriftian virtue, as to the point
of land before us •, anil being fo far from home, ag-
gravates the profpect, and gives me very much the
feeling of a pelican to the wildernefs, out of the reach
of almoft any other help, five that holy Ann which
SARAH G R U B B. i 4 i
leads about and inftructs, in what appears to us
the moft deferted iltuation, and moreover hath pro-
mifed to keep as the apple of the eye.'
'< Could I believe myfelf to be one thus provided
for, and to whom the arm of power will continue to
be extended, fome of my fecret cogitations would
be lefs painful and gloomy, and with greater pleafant-
nefs, I could advance forward, though in a tribulat-
ed way. From Plymouth we came into Cornwall,
taking Germains, Looe, Lifkard, Auftel, and Meva-
gefTey meetings, in our way to Falmouth, where, and
in its neighbourhood, we have met with fome valua-
ble friends. In thefe weftern counties through which
we have come, viz. Hampfhire, Dorfetfhire, Somer-
fetfhire, and Devonfhire, the fociety, as to the cir-
culation of that life which we profefs to be feekicg
the influence of, is indeed lamentably low. A worldly
fpirit and a ftate that is neither hot nor cold, greatly
prevails •, fo that the few living members (for there
is here and there one) are fcarcely able to lift the
ftandard of truth, or revive the remembrance of the
law. But in this county, viz. Cornwall, things are
better •, a right zeal having fprung up in divers, to
fearch into the real ftate of the church, and what
is more, a care firft to fearch themfelves ; an exer-
cife greatly wanted amongft- active members in many
places. C. P.'s labours in thefe parts have been,
we think, eminently bleffed ; and the good effects
of fuch a faithful difcharge of duty, and bearing a
■fteady, uniform teftimony to the truth, and againfl
error, would, there is no doubt, oftner be found, if
M2 The LIFE of
that was oftner tried. We get but (lowly forward
fince we came into this county ; for though I have
mentioned fome good in it, yet we find it clofe excr-
cifing work, to get clearly down to the good thing
alluded to; and have ftaid longer in places here-
abouts, than any where before. Tefterday was try-
ing to my almoft worn out mind ; my compani
got a little relieved in the morning, but I faw no
way for myfelf all the day, though under a great
weight; but fo it is, wc need patience and fubjection
in fuch times, lell wc mo\c before the waters have
rifen to their appointed height."
" We have been favoured to get along
without accidents, and have to acknowledge that,
many ways, wc are helped beyond our frequent I
pe&ation ; finding, (as we fuppofe others do) dif-
•couragements on the right hand, and on the left ;
which, if fullered to prevail, would ioon deftroy
that little grain of efficacious faith which removes
mountains, and without which, however we may
labour and wafte our th, inch mountains of
Sicultyand unfruhfulnefs, as the chriftian travel-
ler meets with, can never be removed. How ne-
ccflaryis.it then to fight the good light of faith :
that fo, when pure life is circulating, infiead of
knowing it not, we may he It lengthened to lay hold
of it, and to experience the inner man l'o renewed
in u-, . s to actuate every fervice. — Here we ice our
own iniumciency, and how unavailing it is to depend
upon our ftrength ami judgment, in things belong-
ing to ourfelves or others."
SARAH G R U B B. 143
— " I have been at meeting this morning at
Collumpton, a fmall gathering of lukewarm profef-
fors, in the general ; but a few folid young people
afforded a comfortable profpect for the future.
Silence was my lot here ; but my fpirit was deeply
humbled, in feeling the baptizing virtue of truth
near to purify my vefTel, which I efteem more than
the faireft qualifications for public fervice ; and am
more and more led fecretly to fupplicate the increafe
of this folid experience and ability, to endure with
chriftian firmnefs and patience thofe difpenfations
by which it is obtained. Neverthelefs, I am often
deeply tried in religious meetings, with fuch exceed-
ing great ftrippednefs of good, and intrufion of
thoughts which I by no means approve there, that
I mourn under it ; and when any thing opens,
which appears like a difcovery of truth, to give it
to others when I am ready to periih with hunger
myfelf, is almoft irreconcileable j efpecially when
after giving up to it, I find myfelf as poor when
a meeting breaks up, as when it began. I can
hardly defcribe what I fecretly fuffer from meet-
ing to meeeting, on this account j fo that when I
am favoured with a fenfible evidence, of the fano
tifying power of the Minifter of minifters yet
dwelling in mine earthen veffel, abundantly doth
my foul acknowledge, that the excellency of the
power is not of us, but of Him, and that he hath a
right to reveal it when and how he pleafeth."
She attended the circular meeting at Gloucefter,
in the ninth month •, from whence fhe returned
144 The LIFE of
pretty directly, into Yorklhire, and was at the
quarterly meeting for that county. In the fore-
part of the tenth month, fhe proceeded with
G. D. and others to the County of Durham, and
attended the quarterly meeting there. Of thde
fervices, no remarks can be added, as there does
not appear any thing material of her own preferr-
ed on thefe occafions.
SARAH G R U B B. M5
CHAP. V.
Family Vifit at Sheffield. — Her llUiefs there. — Confi~
deration of removing into Ireland. — Journey into
Lincolnshire-. — Removal to Ireland. — Journey into
Holland^ Germany and Franc*.
IN the firft month 1787, flie was engaged with
Reb. Jones and others, in a religious vifit to the
families of Friends at Sheffield ; concerning which
fhe writes as follows :
The vifit here is got through, and I hope
profitably fo to many, and efpecially the youth, of
whom here are great numbers j fome of the appren-
tices are very raw, but others feem turning about
with defire to find, and make, the right purchafe.
They are indeed, altogether, a great load of care
upon the fhepherds and fhepherdeffes in this place,
whofe concern I hope is increafing. It is pleafant to
find increafing unity and opennefs amongfi: rightly
concerned friends in this place, and that love which
cafteth out fear.
At the clofe of this family vifit, flie was taken
very ill, with a heavy cold and an inflammation of the
lungs. This diforder continued for feveral weeks, dur-
ing which fhe was brought very low in body and mind.
But the great Fbyfician, on whom appeared to be
H
T H F I. I F E • k
n,
h and
of her
( . - ■ Etters, . :
I vcr
: the act j ou
1 appn :..
.
■ ' D
:ui
irr
f the j I . •
I
er-
.1
i
the gr
■g-
SARAH G G U B B. 147
The ways of wifdom are a great deep, and
the defigns of removing from, or reftoring to, this
uncertain and probationary ftate of being, are often
for purpofes which require a daily waiting for, and
dependance upon the unfoldings of pure inftruftion,
in order profitably to difcover them. I confider this
to be my own cafe, and often remember a remark of
J. Woolman's to a friend, perhaps fimilarly circum-
ftanced, " do we (fays he) get through with great
difficulty, and yet recover ; He requires that we
fhould be purged from drofs, and our ear opened to
difcipline."
I am favoured to continue recovering, tho'
often reminded that in every fenfe I am a poor weak
creature, and under abundant neceffity to hold faft
the little ftrength I have, and patiently wait for
the renewings of that life which quickens, and gives
joy in the fpiritual creation. But I am ftill too car-
nally minded, too much difpofed to look outward,
and too little to prefs through the oppofition of
nature, to that true weightinefs of fpirit which J.
earneftly fought for in a late feafon of adverfity.
Thefe things convince us that, in order to win the
crown in view, we muft fight the good fight, and
wreltle for that faith which only gives the victory.
The iubject of their removing into Ireland, and
fettling there, had for a confiderable while, en-
gaged her folid confideration ; and the propriety
of that undertaking was about this time attended
with fuch clearnefs to her own mind, and that of
her hufband, that they apprehended the time was
Hz
MS The L I F E of
near for their departure from this land. Divers
of her letters written on this occafion, fliew her
fenfc of the importance of this ineafure, and how
great and exemplary was her concern, that they
might be directed wifely ami fafely concerning it.
The following have been feletted from them.
Our minds have been under frequent,
and fometimes, unprofitable concern how to dif-
pofe of ourfelvcs. There fecms an abundance of
places to chufe from, both in Ireland and here ;
but to know our right lot, is what we arc both
defying fingly to ftand open to the difcovery of, if
conveyed to us ever fo limply; the light which
manifefts it, be it ever fo fmall, will, I believe, i'.\-
tisfy our fafting minds. We have need to be t
duccd low, that we may fo obtain the knowledge
of the divine will, as cheerfully to yield obedietii
reto. Though we think we have Waited Ico
tor inftruclion, yet as our opinions, o{ ourfelves
efpecially, are often very fallacious, it is not im-
poffible but we are far from that Kate of" fclf-no-
thingn I dependance, which I am I
• to hope we are on the brink of. We .
at prefent quite unbound I • ai pi - •, perh
have no place of abode is the !<>t defigned us ; a
th ' much oppofes my inclination, but if right,
however I , it muft be fubmitted to, and
■ ,. . [uences likewife, as the requirings of the day.
My mind has of late looked with m<
irnefs than before, towards Ireland. It has l> en
a 1 . -r of confideration, attended already with
much anxiety; and now that I am appreheniive I
SARAH G R U B B. 1^9
have feen a right opening towards it, I wilh to be
preferved from looking back, or entering into un-
profitable confiderations about it ; but rather to leave
the matter at prefent, only ftanding open to the dif-
coveries of more light, either for or againft it, and
refpecting the right time of moving, or of nr:
moving at all, which I know to be the fituation
of my hufband's mind refpecling it. 1 well
know, that except we are in our right places, we
can have no true enjoyment or expectation of fup-
port under, or the bleiling upon, our allotted por-
tion of fuffering ; and we have proved both lands to
have in them their fhare of trials and probations ;
and know that things which look the moft plea-
fant in either, may foon, as fome of them have al-
pctmy ~t tiroes been, be embittered, and fliaded
with gloom. I wifh however to number my bki -
in^s, for they ase many, and far beyond my de-
ierts..
I often wilh that I could learn to be ftill
when I have nothing to do, and inftead of {train-
ing my eyes in the dark, and watching the breaking
of the day, to dwell quietly in the ward all night,
believing in the light, and obediei-tly working there-
in. The outward day breaks gradually upon us,
and experience teaches us the certain indication of
its approach, a dawning of light, which we are net
apt to diibelieve, nor doubt that the meridian of it
will come in due time. And as in the outward,
we cannot haften that time, no more can we with
refpect to divine illuminations. Does it not there-
H 3
»5° Th f. LIFE ut
fore, remain to be our bufinefs, to wait for the
light when a little of it appears, to believe in it,
and that the fulncfs of the day will come, though
We do Dot now ice it; remembering that, " blctTcd
are they that have not fecn, and yet have believed."
This is what I apprehend to be right to do, and
what I wifii to attain ; but I would by no means in-
iinuate, that I confidently believe myfelf to have ar-
rived at it, in the profpccl of removing to Ireland ;
meaning only, that after a (late of anxiety, and toffing
about with every wind of the fentiments of others,
I leemed to get into refignation's harbour. I am how-
ever willing to ftand open to further conviclion ; and
if the will fhould be gracioufly accepted for the deed,
my poor bark excufed the expofure, and my dear
R. G. fatisfied, (which I do not doubt if it i^ ri«U*)
it will not be an unpleafant releafe from an engage-
ment to which I now feel myfelf rather bound : for
there arc many in this nation, and in our own coun-
ty, (felting afide my near relatives after the flefh) to
whom I am ciofely attached, and from whom nature
will flinch to part ; but there are alfo divers of this
clafs in Ireland, whofe friendfhip will, if my refi-
dence there be right, greatly repair the lofs, and
tend to fmooth the otherwife rugged path. Thifl il
looking at fecondnry caufes, a view which I don't
wifh often to take ; becaufe to be in the place align-
ed, (whether I was known of mortals or not") where
the great work of fan&ifii ttion and acceptance in di-
vine favour forward, would, I am fatisfied,
a'i'urd a peace fuperior to all human confolati<
and enable the truly abated mind uobly to
SARAH G R U B B. 151
" Although the fig-tree fhall not bioffom, neither
fhall fruit be in the vines ; the labour of the olive
fhall fail, and the fields fhall yield no meat ; the
flock fhall be cut off from the fold, and there fhall
be no herd in the flails ; yet I will rejoice in the
Lord, I will joy in the God of my falvation :" a
glorious experience worthy our afpiring after !
Whatever has a tendency to loofen our afilclions
from mixed ftreams of refrefhment, and centre them
in the great fource, the well in ourfelves fpringing up
unto everlafting life, I apprehend more truly quali-
fies for fervice, than a fituation replete with opportu-
nities, for the increafe of human wifdom and activi-
ty in the vifible church -, which never fail to have in
them their fnares, by gratifying felf, if given way to,
in one fhape or other.
What I have felt at times on the fubjeft
of our removal, cannot be eafily defcribed •> divine
fnpport and direction, if flngly fought to, under the
weight of it, will be found fufncient to fuflain, and
open the right way ; but I apprehend that our fmall
grain of faith, may meet with many trials and buffer-
ings in our future fteppings ; and oh that we may ne-
ver make fhipwreck thereof !
May the flaff of lirael be our fupport, feparately
and together, and may we have no other depend-
ance, is the fecret petition of my mind •, for, in the
undertaking before us, we may fay, that with our
ftaft only we are paffing over this Jordan.
Having come to a conclufion refpecfting their re-
moval into Ireland, and obtained the concurrence of
H 4
■ 52 T ii i LI F E oh
their monthly meeting, they proceeded to York and
attended the quarterly meeting there; from whence,
r taking a folemn and affecting leave of their near
Conn - and friends, they fet forward for the
county of Lincoln ; the meetings of which, as well
as fome others, fhe felt a defire to attend, in her
way to the year'.} meeting. Soon after this trying
reparation, <he following letter appears to have been
written*. With divers companions in that kr\ice,
* Laic week but one was our quarterly meeting at
York, which was favoured with the overihadowings of
eavenly wing, it was a parting time, and almoft
too affecting for my prefent weak ftatc ; but 1 endeavoured
eyond perfi aal enjoyments, to that
fellowftiip which is pure, Handing with the Father and
with the Son, and which admits of no change by i -in-
ward ieparation, if we retain our integiicy, and places
in the adoption of children. On feventh day morning
after, came the dregs of the cup of removal; a h
tendering ny b< • /ed a >.s at Y
with the proprietors of t'. ol, and lb me of their
hufbands. It was almoll too much for my frame, faith
being at a low ebb, a;. uragements coming in like
a flood ; but in the opening of true vifion, the fpirit i f
the Lord was lifted up as a llandard againfl: them. A
to the body, I 1 w parted with many who feemed
interwoven with my existence: with divers oi them it
was gradual, and I m it a favour it was fo : but
jh I am fcnfible, that in the church I lei h fa-
thers and moth n and fi
: U li, th •
i Jing to th Wth, t
;
felt \ me in Ire ■ h< pe,
fliould we be \. ■ ■ • '• into
SARAH G R U B B. 1:3
fhe vifited mo ft or all of the meetings and families
of friends in Lincolnfhire, and attended feveral other
meetings as me proceeded to London. Though b;;t
little of the progrefs of this journey is defcribed in
the following extracts ; yet the feelings of her rriind,
and the inftructive remarks fet forth therein, will, it
is apprehended, render it proper to infert them here.
We are favoured to get along as well as
we might expect, we hope in fome degree of fympa-
thy with the ftate of the beft things in this defolate
county ■, but upon the whole, my mind is and hath
been favoured with a calm, efpecially for thefe few
days back, which tends to promote the rcftoration
of health, and ftrengthens with a good degree of
refignednefs, to look forward to the profpects before
me ; and fo far from confidering the purfuit of them
a hardihip, I efteem the- end propoied thereby, a
favour of which I am unworthy ; for what is there
worth living for, but to be found in the difchargs of
our duty ?
We are now in the Ifle of Axolrn; vifiting
1 few defolate profeiTors, who are like iheep haying
no flier herd ; and yet in a place as. much, neglected
as perhaps any in the ibciety, we ar.e.comfoittd in
finding a feed alive, refembling Jofeph in Egypt, and
may fay, for my own pact, that I have fek the rncft
;o!id reward far a little kbour here, of any fiiKf
leaving York. It is not after the fight of the eye, or
the hearing of the ear, that we can judge aright.
and rightly (land in our lots at Clonmcl, we fhall find
every wailt fhpplied, and true yoke-fellows beytad ci
defertai
H'5
>54 The LIFE of
They that fuffcr with the feed, ih.ill reign
■With it ; but it miift not be in our way, nor in our
time. Patience is clue on our part, and the exercife
of that grata of faith which we have received; for,
" by faith the elders obtained a good report," I pre-
sume of the Lord, rather than of men. Then let us
not be afraid of the trial, for its cflkacy is proved
thereby. O that I was ftronger in this fpot ! for
even lince we left York, and particularly on leaving
it, I have teemed to be reduced to the loweft ebb,
and, nature hath foreboded difcouragements beyond
what I thought I was able to bear. But this is not
always the cafe ; for fomctimes, when every thing
elfe is fliaded with gloom, the foundation is molt
• clearly revealed, and its (landing fare incontrovcrti-
bly known and believed in; fo that all things ha\<
appeared pofiible to him that be'.ievcth, and the ways
of the Moft High difcovered to be higher than our
ways, and his thoughts than our thoughts. Here T
love to repofe myfelf, and ftand refigncd to every
cMfpenfation which has the remoteft tendency, not
only to let me fee the work of my day, but to refine
and qualify for it.
I have recovered fo much, that I have
now fcarce any thing to complain of reflecting the
body. To be Aire it i3 not very ftrong, but it 1.
thus far proved able fo bear all that was laid upon it ;
which is encouragement to myfelf, and alfo to
others, to pcrfevere in yielding ourfelvcs up, under
the power of the crofs, to every opening of duty,
feeing that all things are pofiible to them that bc-
fcevc. And yet I Bunted in my mind many a time,
S A R AH GRUB B. i$±
and feemed to be one of thole who have no faith :
fo that, on reflecting upon this little einbaffy, the
proipect and the progrefs of it, it feems as if it was
all done for me by that good Hand, which requires
the paflivenefs rather than the aetivenefs of the crea-
ture, in profecuting His ciefigns. Though I now
give a pretty good account of the body, I may alfo
add, that, lbmetimes, my mind gets encompafTed
with glooms and diScouragements, which nothing
can diflipate, fave a ftate of resignation and quiet de-
pendance upon the everlafting Arm of Omnipotence ;
and this is often fo hard to attain, that I am afraid
of falling in the ftruggle, when a hope is again revi-
ved, of being under divine protection, and that the
day's work is really going forward. This, at times,
introduces a quiet ferenity, and Strengthens to leave
the things that are behind, and prefs forward to
thofe that are before. The Sympathy of my friend ;
under my late trials, has been considered a favour of
which I am unworthy ; and there is undoubtedly no
better way of Securing it upon the foundation of gol-
pel fellowship, than by learning to live without it,
and looking Singly to the Rock from whence all
good things are hewn, and the hole of the pit, the
humbling difpenfations. of infinite wifdom, from
whence they are dug.
Soon after the yearly meeting at London, they
proceeded for Clonmel in Ireland, where She was
favoured to arrive in Safety, in the 6th month 1787,
with her health much improved, and under a good
degree of peace and fatisfaction of mind ; which con-
tinued for fome time after her arrival, as a Source
156 Tu e L I F E of
of confutation and encouragement (he writes as fol-
lows :
Our removal lias altogether been blcficd
with a good Jcgixc of that peace wiii. h pafieth un-
deritanding, and attended with fuch circumftanci ,
thus far, as we have great caiue to be thankful i.
An unmixed cup of comfort in human life, is what
my ihort pufftge through the world, has taught !
not to look for, and a iuu.il degree of religious t ■-
perience, not to pray for-, and yet to pray fur th<
things which are really good for us, will eve* re-
quire the renewings of that Spirit which only
breathes the will of the Father. Nature ilirinks . .
fufiering ; fometimes I am ... to anticipate .1
draught of it, proportion able to the lati .....1 prefent
degree of favour; and fometi es I am (Littered
with a language that tells me, " it is already drunk,
and that the bitternefs of death is paft» M An hum-
ble, refigned mind i* however always cur duty and
intereft to prefs after. It has a fortification in it-
fielf againfi the varied a ... u I & I in, and a fuffii
ent portion of Gilead's Balm for every afflictive
difpenfation of infinite wifdom; both of which, if
my natural Lie is fpared, will, I do believe, be nv,
companions, and prove frequent trials of an abiding
and advancement in that gofpel Spirit) which lovcth,
. and endureth through ail.
Her mind hail frequently, for a considerable
re this period, been imprefled and tlofel.y
exercifed with an apprehennon, that it would L.
f h r to pay .. r< I is vifit to fome puts
©f Germany and France: and, a few months after
SARAH G R U B B. r^y-
her fettlement in Ireland, this concern increafed
with fuch weight and evidence, that fhe was con-
ftrained, in reiignation, to fpread it before the
friends of their monthly meeting ; who, after folid
deliberation and fympathy, concurred therewith, and
gave her their certiheate of unity and approbation.
She received alio the near concurrence of their
quarterly meeting, and that of the morning meeting
of minilters and elders in London, and fet forward
on this journey in the 3d. month, 1788, in compa-
ny with her hufband, George Dillwyn and his wife,
and Mary Dudley ; who were alio bound to this
fervice, and engaged therein with the unity of.
friends.
The following parts of her letters on this occaiion',
defcribe the previous exercife of her mind, and con-
tain a pretty regular, though fhort account of the
journey, from the commencement of it, to its con-
eluilon.
1 2th month 1787. My mind after a feafon of
deep trial and exercife, was led to vifit, in what ap-
peared to myfelf an extraordinary degree of gofpel
love, many in that country, and fome parts, of Ger-
many contiguous thereto ; fully believing, according
to my feelings, that there were fpiritual worshippers
in thole parts.
1 2th month. 1787. If the profpecl: before us be
in divine wifdom, we have great caufe to acknow-
ledge that it is unfathomable, and pall: our finding
out, becaufe of my incapacity, in every refpecl, to
perform fuch a journey to the honor of the great
Caufe. I wifhj however, now to leave caring to©
158 The LIFE 01 (
much about the future, and endeavour after quiet
reiignation ; well knowing, that by talcing ever fo
much unprofitable thought, I cannot add one cubit
to my ftature, nor make one hair of my head, white
or black ; and alio hoping, that when it comes to
the trial, the will may be accepted for the deed ;
which I have no doubt will be the cafe, if the pro-
vince meeting, or my fympathizing friends, advik
me againft it ; or if no friend of fuperior weight in
the miniftry, proves under the like concern, and ad-
mits us in their company. Difcouragements of va-
rious kinds crowd in at times upon me, but when
gofpel love flows from the living fountain, it over-
powers all felfifh confiderations, and fhews me my
own unworthinefs to be, in the leaft degree, employ-
ed in the divine hand.
1 ft month 1788. Our fituation at prefent, re-
quires at leaft a grain of that faith which has power
to remove mountains; for, tridy, vain is the help of
man, in cafes where the pure iced is to be exalted.
A fenfe of our infuflicicncy to do any good thin?,
without divine affiltance, will, I truft, whatever our
trials or temptations may be, fo humble us, as
wholly to prevent a vain depcnd.inro upon any
thing of our own ; but furely there is as much need
for watchfulnefa and prayer at thi«- Jay, as when the
difciples were immediately recommended to it.
1 ft month 1788. My mind is often under a load
of exercife on my own account, and in care left the
precious caufc fhould fuffcr by me. The prefent is
a time of deep trial and learching of heart, left we
fhould be meddling with, or doing, any thing which
SARAH G R U B B. t$ 9
is not in the clear difcovery of gofpel light. When I
confider how little I am experienced in the ftation
wherein I may be likely to move, the newnefs and pe-
culiarity of the fervice in profpect, and even the weak-
nefs of the outward tabernacle, (which to be fure I
think leaft of) my feelings fuggeft the applicablenefs
of the faying, " I am a worm." This however cheers
me, that without fome degree of clearness, we need
not, neither ihall attempt to move.
2d month 1788. I have been of late confidera-
bly indifpoied, but upon the whole am much better,
though every day fenfible of having (by fome means
or other) a very broken conftitution. If it do but
lait till Ihe portion of work allotted me is finifhedj
that is enough, even though it be performed under
the preffure of bodily infirmities ; all which may be
no more than neceiTary to keep the mind to its pro-
per centre, and direct its attention, lingly to an in-
heritance undented, and. which fadeth not away.
3d month 1788. According to prefent appear-
ances, we, (I mean our little company) frand in a~
bundant need of the whole armour of light, We are
about to embark for a country, the language of
which none of us know, and in expectation of a
path wherein we can fee no footfieps, and which
muft be attended with new and various trials* May
our truft be in the Lord alone, who is able, in fea*-
fbns of the greateft difficulty, to encr.eafe our faith.,
and make way for us where we lee no way.
Having the concurrence of friends, we
left London and proceeded for Harwich, wher-e we
were detained feveral days for want of a. fair wind ;
i do TheLIFLo,
during which time we had two meeting , and
Is, (23d of 3d month) the wind turning in fa-
vour if our leaving that port, we embarked ; but it
was fourth day night, the twcnty-icvcnth, before we
landed at J Icivoetfluys, which was nevertheless a fa-
vour, and I hope efteemed lb by us all. We got 1
an agreeable Englifll inn there, and after a pretty
i night's reft, fet forward I rds Rotterdam,
by way of the Briel and Delf, and cue in fafe ra-
ther late at night, it being there a gre; >ork
of about twenty-five miles. We travelled in an 1
waggon the fir ft feven miles, the road being Jo bad
that no other carriage could get aloiv; wit!
and the reft of the way went m their bo •
Treckfchuyts, which are drawn by horf< I the
rate of about three miles an hour, 'i lis is .. very
pleafant and eafy way of travel'. . i\\ it was
through a country made as agreeable hy improve-
ments as it is capabie of, being very flat 'i:d marfhy.
Many of the inhabitants followed us through lbme
towns, and gazed exceedingly at us; and fomc
them, .... well as they were able, 11, a:. helled a love
which met that in w that drew us hither; but the
ftrangenefs of our langi • to each other, was a con-
tinual discouragement ; yet as it was not of our own
bringing on, \sc endeavoured to keep quiet under it,
and lei retly defired that ( ur minds might be fo influ-
enced, as to corn •. to them, in hleiue, that v\hi<h
1 tter than words. We have now got into Co new
a line, that it is no woridei if we fhould be more
than ufually blind; and it will be well, iffome of us
ikj be alio more than ufually dependant and pa-
SARAH G R U B B. 161
tient reflecting our fteppings ; for being feparated
and remote from our friends, and fome of dlfpofiti-
ons rather hafty tlran oiherwife, there is, no doubt,
a danger of fometimes preiling forward with too
much earneftnefs, and thereby of preventing the
completion of thofe little ferviccs, in one way or
other, which are intended for the purchafe of our
own peace at leaft. Though Holland was not much
in the profpect of us who came from Ireland, yet we
have been favoured with fomething more than a
hope, that we are thus far in our places, and feel a
comfortable and ftrengthening unity one with ano-
ther therein. The defire of my mind is at prefent
ftrong, that, though in ever fo much weaknefs, we
may be enabled to pafs through the country in that
flr.^lcnefs ziil dedication of heart, which may pre-
lerve us from condemnation.
We ftaid three days in Rotterdam, and had two-
public meetings at the meeting houfe belonging to
friends ; there are a great many Englifh people in
that city, and the attenders of our meetings being
principally of that clafs, Ave had no need of an inter-
preter. There are fome ferious people with whom
we got acquainted, and to whom our vifit feemed
acceptable, but no profelTors with us, except one
perfon, who cannot be expected, in his prefent ftate,
to throw much light upon the teftimony of truth j
but he was very willing to render us fuch ferviccs
as were in his power, which we took kind.
From Rotterdam, we came forward to Amfterdam,
by way of Leyden, Haarlem, &c. and were kindly
received by our friend John Vanderwerf. Here our
l6t The LIFE o i
minds, generally, got very low on divers accounts.
Several of ns were poorly with complaints in the
ftomach, &C. which ftrangers are fubjeel to, before
their confutations come to bear the difference of their
meat, drink, air, &o The few under the name of
friends in this great city, yielded us little of that
itrength which is the fruit of lympathy of ipirit,
and inward acquaintance with divine requirings ; and
which, if right, would have been truly ialutary and
cordial to us at that time, as we looked upon our-
felves to be then embarking upon the moft arduous
and difcouraging part of our journey ; having a gi
diftance to travel, entirely unacquainted with the
country, Grangers to all their different languages,
except a little French, and no interpreter to ac-
CCrr.paTiy us. Under thele complicated trials, our
faith got into the furnace afreih. This was much
the cafe with me, and my dear companions felt no
lefs. However, as we endeavoured after refignation,
and were fometim.s replenished with ftrength pati-
ently to wait for renewed manifeftations of duty,
way opened, by degrees, to get clear of that place.
Wc attended their little monthly meeting, the 1
nefs whereof was tranfacled in the Dutch language ;
fo that we had not an opportunity of judging much
about them ■, except that their appearance, and the
feelings of our minds, convinced us that true religion
is at a low ebb amongft them ; and yet there is fomc-
thing tender which loves truth, and with which, a
family viiit amongfr. them, made us better acquaint-
ed *. We had alio three public meetings there,
* Wc were comforted in the belief that their folita-
SARAH G R U B B. 16*3
which were attended by many of the inhabitants of
different descriptions ; but there are a few with whofe
company, both in and out of meetings, we were
comforted. They are a ferious religious people, not
connected with any fociety, and believing in the
Spirituality of all true worfhip. We paid a vifit to
one of their families, which conSifts of a widow,
her fon, and two daughters, none of them young.
They are people of considerable property, which they
devote very much to the fervice of the poor. They
were affectionately kind, and demonstrated their
unity with, and attachment to our principles, as
far as they had heard them in the meetings which
they attended, and were fully convinced of the necef-
fity of an inward work, and that all true worShip
TTtvft be n^r formed in fnirit a*«* •« t*""t'?: If! ?. "Z-
ligious opportunity which we had with them before
we parted, the cementing influence of gofpel love
flowed amongft us like a Stream. From this iamiiy,
we were furnifhed with letters of recommendation
ry Situations are divinely regarded, and hope that divers
of their deficiencies in fome points wherein we have been
ctherwife taught, are counterbalanced in the fight of
holy compaffion and juftice, by the Sincerity of their in-
tentions, and the difcouragements in many refpetts pe-
culiar to them, which we, by experience, know little
about. The keeping up of a meeting for worfhip every
firfl day, in their weak flate, is an atf: of faithfulnefs,
which we might be often ready to faint under, were w;
in their Situation, Separated from the Strengthening com-.
munications which religious fociety affords, (not having
received a vifit of this kind for four years) and being
dcfpiSed amongft the worldly minded.
1 64 Thi. LIFE oi
to fuch as tli. s in Gen , fome of whoa
we have f< ' on. During our ftay
in Amfterdam, we were u ed for, by J< » li 1 1
Vanderwerf, or one of his fons, both in public and
private. It Teemed ftrange, and - thcr hard to us
women, eipecially at firft j but we foon got over it,
and had reafon to hope that our religious communi-
cations were not materially . I ; our friend
feemed to have an awe upon his mind when he ftood
up, took off' his hat, and delivered, fentence by fen-
tence, what was expreffed. Thus after fpending
eight days at Amsterdam, and being deeply tried in
that place, our minds were fixengtbened to have it,
(the 9th of the 4th month,) with a renewed trult,
that the great Shepherd o( Ifrael, who knows his
. . - r ' • ' 1 o n 1 • ' • ■ • ' . • 1 , . . • ■ ■ _
\>»»n .itv^.. 111 wvv_ir ii.«» — ..._.- » .._._. ..
mote from the knowledge and confo.at.Ion of their
friends, would fuperintend us, and gracio tfly "•'<
himfclf for our help, in the needful time. We
effayed to proceed by way of Utrecht, (where a
few books were distributed, and much love felt for
the inhabitants) Nimeguen, and thro' part of the k
of Pruffia's domii into the Elector of Bavar
to a place called DufTeldorff, where wc again made
a little ftop, finding a few who could (peak Englifh,
and moft of them French. Here we commenced
acquaintance with a fi lid, religious man, named
Michael Wettefboar, to whom wc were recommend-
ed by the people whom I
dam. Being gathered to the principle of truth,
and ■ nform to it, as revealed in the line
of his own experience, he walks much alone in a
SARAH G R U B B. 165
dark and diffipated place. He was a kind friend to
Claude Gay, Aviien paying a fimilar villt to our's in
tliis country, many years ago, and was rejoiced to
fee us. He lamented the lonefomenefs of his fitua-
tion, and faid that his mind was ftrengthened by the
vifit. From hence Ave went eighteen miles and back,
out of our road, to Elberfeid, where, as at many
other places, for want of an interpreter, we fuffer-
ed what often appears to us an unavailing baptifm
for the testimony's fake. But perhaps it is not fo
much fo as we are apt to think : the ways of the
Moft High are not our ways, nor his thoughts our
thoughts ; we know not but this deeply humbling
path, and the fecret exercifes we have daily to pafs
through without any viiible relief, may have a ufe
beyond our finite conceptions ; fo that it is fafeft to
leave thefe things, and outward considerations about
them, in the hand which can blefs, and render fruit-
ful, the things which are not, by caufing them to
bring to nought the things which are. However, we
found an opening to fome folid converfation with a
few in this place, and underftood that there are many
religious people there ; but we were difcouraged by the
difficulties we found in getting an acquaintance with
them; fo we returned, after ftaying one night,
to DufTeldorfF. We left that place, and paffing
through a dark country, arrived in two days at New-
vied, the 1 8th of the 4th month. We have had
very little rain fince we came upon the continent,
confequently the roads are dry, but being for the
moft part a deep fand, we have not been able to
travel over it fo quickly as is defirable. Thirty
166 The LIFE of
miles a dnv, is I think nearly the average of our ex-
pedition, though we moftly travel poft. The vehicles
are heavy, being generally covered waggons or
clumfy coaches. We moftly prefer the former, as
ourfelves and luggage meet the belt accommodation
In them. The inns are pretty good, and the peo-
ple refpeclfully kind to us, and in that line but lit-
tle difficulty occurs in making ourfelves underftood.
Our road has lain upon the banks of the Rhine, and
furniflicd us with profpecls of a country extremely
beautiful, and, in fome places, for miles together
covered with vineyards. But the plcafure which
we might innocently have derived from thofe
fcepes, has met with continual damps, by the grofs
proftitution of facred things which, in the croffes
and images thickly fcattered upon the road, give
pain to every feeling whereby fpirituul worfhip is
promoted. The Roman Catholics are very numerous
in many parts which we have paffed through •, but, in
moll places, the 1'roteh.ar.ts enjoy the privileges they
defire without interruption; and amongit them there
is undoubtedly an awakened, iincere hearted people.
On our arrival at Ncwvied, we found a great change
in the Lite of things, it being a new and pleafant
town, inhabited by fcrious ProteftantS, and princi-
pally by the Moravians ; though there are about
twenty families of the Mer.enihs, and as many of a
people who call themfelvcs Infpirants, but by others
are often called Quakers. We were directed to a
Moravian inn, which proved %< ry agreeable, feeling
ourfelves in that family very much as if we were at
SARAH G R U B B. 167
home. Here we were foon vifited by feveral of the
Moravian brethren and lifters, fome of whole minds
appeared unprejudiced, and intent upon fpiritual
improvement ; which drew them often to our apart-
ments, and opened a door for the communication of
fuch gofpel truths, as, from time to time, occurred ;
and we had a comfortable hope, that they dropped
into fome of their minds as feed into good ground.
We had the advantage in that place of an interpre-
ter, a young man of the Moravian ©economy, who
cheerfully befriended us on many occalions ; and
though, at the firft, he appeared under difficulty in
communicating religious matter which was new to
him, yet before we went away, his underftanding
feemed more opened, and his feelings much more
cordially difpofed to the principle of truth as we
profefs it, and to the feveral branches thereof.
We had a public meeting in that place the evening
before v»e left it, after a week's deep exercife and
fecret fuficring •, but this opportunity furnifhed us
with renewed caufe, to put our truft in the gentle
puttings forth of the Shepherd of Ifrael, and in the
revelation of His power, which we humblingly find
is fometimes withheld, till the feafons of our greateft
extremity. The young man, our interpreter, readily
accepted his office in the meeting, without any pre-
vious requeft, and performed it with great folidity.
Our vifit to that place was clofed by a feafon of di-
vine favour, in a family which cheerfully received
the teftimony we had unitedly to bear, to the effica-
cy of fpiritual worfhip, and the neceffity of prepa-
ration for it ; and in much love and tendernefs of
168 The LIFE of
fpirit we left Newvied. " O the depth and extent of
the riches, both of the knowledge and wifdom of
God! bow uafearchable are his judgments, and his
ways p; it finding out !" We had abundant caufe in
our travels through Germany, to fay, that we were
led in paths which we knew not, and frequently
reduced to a ftate of extremity. We were fenfible,
according to our meafures, of the mi ft of hipcrfti-
tion and idolatry which ovcrfprcacls a great part of
the country ; and alio had, at times, revealed that
mo ft lure word of prophecy, which penetrates the
obfeureft recefles of S ion's travellers, draws them
into hidden fellowship one with another, and unites
them in the fufferings of the precious feed, though
differently fituated in the world, and their profeffion
in it various. Thus were we Led in paths which we
knew not, ajgd ways we had not feen, and were
often incapable of finding out thole whom we thus
felt, and when we .lid difcover fuch, we were un-
able, for want ot a knowledge of their language,
fullv to communicate to them : but miffing in the
all-fufficiency of almighty help, for the fupply of
all their needs, we were favoured, when dedication
•of heart luul been attail 1, and the green paftures
of i 1, to lie down befide the Aill waters, and
leave the t vent oi our travel to Him who blefieth, or
bl; fteth, at his pldafure. From Newvied we came to
Wifbaden, a place in r :it requeil for warm bath-
11 , there being f •■ ral boiling hot fprings in the
town, from which the water is conveyed to private
erns, where it cools for ufe. There feemed Some-
thing rather attractive in tins place to our minds,
SARAH G R U B B. 169
and yet, as was often the cafe, difcouragements
prevailed over our best feelings, and we proceeded
to Frankfort, a day's journey. There we ftaid two
nights ; but though we had letters of recommenda-
tion to religious characters, yet for want of being
able to make ourfelves understood, we had no con-
verfation with any but a Pietist who fpoke Englifh
but poorly, and who, after fome difcourie on religious
subjects, left us with profeffions of love. From
Frankfort we proceeded to Bafle, a large proteftant
town, where we arrived the 3d of the 5th month.
Here our minds feemed arrefted, and all efforts to-
wards purming our journey were painful, till we
had fettled a few days under our exercife, and em-
braced, though in the crofs, such opportunities as
opened for relief. Having fome letters of recom-
mendation to ferious people, they were prefented to
them ; in confequence of which, feveral vilits were
paid us, and we obferved in fome rather a criti-
cal investigation of our principles. They were cau-
tious of embracing us till they perceived the doc-
trines we held *, after which there was great open-
nefs in fome of their minds, candidly to receive
fuch communications on religious subjects as from
time to time opened. One of them underftanding
the Englifh language well, was, in feveral instances,
a very friendly interpreter to us ; and his mind be-
ing acquainted with divine illuminations, he often
discovered fymptoms of conviction and fenfibility,
when, as a channel, the openings of truth were
palling through him. In a large company to which
I
170 The LIFE of
we were invited, this pcrfon, obferving our dif-
poi"irion to Glence, kindly and feelingly propofed
and requefted a compliance of the company. We
were favoured, to our thankful admiration, with the
humbling influence of divine love, and Itrength
renewedly to bear teftimony to the necelhty of an
inward preparation for the folemn act of true wor-
fhip, which requires neither forms nor ceremonies,
to render it acceptable to the Father of Spirits.
The opportunity was concluded in folemn fuppli< a-
tion, which our friendly interpreter rendered, fen-
tence by fentence, into the Dutch language, with
a reverential awe, whereby the livelinefs of it was
preferred. We had alio a comfortable feafon of
retirement in the family of another of our friends
there, whofe wife and daughters profefs not to
fee tin- nereflity of a religious circumfpeel life, as
he, and his eldelr l'on do; but they were affection-
ate and attentive to us, and we had reafoo to
hone, received no unprofitable impreffions by this
little act of dedication. This perfon conducted with
tru » towards us, difcovering great
fimplicity of heart, and an opennefs to receive the
truth, wherever, or however he might find it-,
b ing experienced in that great work of r< pentai
unl , and ceafing from many entanglements in
the 1, which he believed had a tendency to en-
>e his mind, and to ke p him in a ftate of '
par 1 from divine fav >u : l" thai to meet with
fellow pilgrims who could tell him a little ol their
kn T ,e of the right way, feemed like marrow
to his b^...s. We have feveral times fallen in with
SARAH G R U B B. 171
perfons who kindly entertained Claude Gay, in his
lonefome travel through thefe parts j and in Bafle
we have found two agreeable religious old men,
with whom he was hofpitably fuftained for three
weeks. They are of a people called Infpirants, and
often by others Quakers ; but upon an acquaintance
with them, efpecially at Newvied, we found them
no lefs active than other profeflbrs in fmging, pray-
ing, preaching, &c. in their congregations. They
appear to be defcendants of the French prophets j
and amongft them there is an honeft hearted num-
ber to whom the love and language of the gofpel
flowed with more opennefs, and appeared to be re-
ceived with more fimplicity, than amongft fome
others. To thefe two elderly men we paid feveral
vilits, which were not unattended with inftructive
converlation ; but this did not afford that relief
which our exercifed mind feemed to want, nor could
we comfortably fee our way from the town, till
we had, in their family and amongft fuch as they
might invite, borne teftimony, by our example alfo,
to the neceflity of filent waiting *. It was a feafon
obtained with difficulty, and paffed through in tribu-
lation of fpirit. The candle was not eallly put in-
to the candleftick, and when there, evidently fuf-
* To put the light into the candleftick, fo as to bear,
even in pri ate, a teftimony to the truth, and fpiritual
anointing in filence, is here a greater trial of our love
and faithfulnefs to ihe caufe, than any can readily be-
lieve, who have not been led amongft thofe who are
ignorant of a ceflation from their own works.
I 2
i;: Tii l L I F E of
pelted by thefe people, not to be in its right place.
But before the meeting clofed, public teftimony was
borne to it, and to the refurrection of that life which
is the light of men, being the only qualification of
fpirit, to come forth from that ftate of darkm fs
and death in which we are by nature, and to per-
form any religious duties, or acceptable fcrvice to
the Lord. At the clofe of this opportunity, we
parted with thefe two men in love, though not a
perfect unity of fentiment, which appeared more
fully by an affectionate letter which one of them
fent after us. There was alfo in this place, and
in mo ft others where we ftopped, a prejudii e againft
women's preaching, which encreafed the difficulty
our minds often felt in obtaining relief amongfl a
people of a ftrange language ; but though our ef-
forts were few and feeble, vet as far as dedicate
clothed US, and we were careful not to caft away
our confidence, we had ever caufe gratefully to ac-
knowledge, that great recompence of reward was
vouchsafed, and the foul ftrengthened to return
to its reft, under a renewed fenfe that the Lord
had dealt bountifully with it. The kuulnefs we
have met with in many places, exceeds what we
might have expelled, having fever d times expe-
rienced fo much of the promife fulfilled, that We
have met with brethren and lifters, who, thou
altogether of tin fame profefiion, are fellow
travellers in the chrifti.in path. Sometimes a w
doin appears in our being (tripped of that outward
.<, fo defirable, of an interpreter; as in our
fent circumftance, if any good is done, there is
SARAH G R U B B. 173
no part of it wherein the creature can glory. There
is one thing which expofes us, that does not often
fuit the difpofition of our minds, which is, that
at the beft inns (where we generally go) we mufr.
always dine and fup at the ordinaries, where there
is often a great refort of company. If there is any
ufe in this mortification, it will amply make up ;
the only teftimonies which are publicly borne this
way, are by our men friends keeping on their
hats, and refusing to pay for the mufic which fome-
times accompanies our meals. We took a coach
from Bafie * to Bern, where we ftaid over a firft
* The following letter was written at Bafle the 9th
of 5th month 1788.
As it is probable we may leave Bafle without taking
leave of thee, and acknowledging thy kindnefs with a
gratitude due to it, and feeling in my heart a chriflian
falutation, I take the liberty, this way, of expreffing
my defire for thy increasing knowledge of the myfteries
of the kingdom of God ; which our bleffed Lord
thanked his Father for concealing from the wife and
prudent, and revealing unto babes. The facred influ-
ences of divine light upon our underftandings, are
cheering to the mind, and animate its efforts to obtain
the liberty of the children of God : and as we wait in
this light, and believe in its manifeftations, we are fa-
voured to fee more light, the means appointed to pro-
cure it are revealed to us, and ftrength given to follow.
But as it was prophetically fpoken of the Saviour of
the world, that there was no form or comelinefs in him,
that when we fhould fee him, we mould defire him,
fo the ftmplicity of his gofpel is found to be. Nothing
more flrongly oppofes the will, wifdom, and activity of
the creature, than in all abafement, fmgly, to depend
13
174 The LIFE 01
day pretty much in private, f.ive that an agreeable
folkl man, an Infpirant, paid us fome vifits, I be-
lieve to mutual fatisfa&ion. We heard of a reli-
gious exercifed coachman for whom was left a book
or two, he not being at home. And thus, after
fecretly differing, as in many other places, we took
our departure for Geneva, travelling through a \e-
ry beautiful country the 1 a it twenty miles, bv the
L.kc of Geneva, and in profpect of the Alps ;
upon the promifed Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, the
anointing which an Apoflle faid the true believers re-
ceived and had abiding in them, the unfpeakable gift
purchafed by the precious blood of the Lamb, and dif-
penfed in infinite mercy for our falvation, which, thi
its converting, purifying power is elfec'tcd ; for he gave
himfelf for us, that he might redeem us from all inicpii-
. &c. Nevertheless the glorious end for which this
Sacrifice was made, ought to be advanced to, and our
tlependancc increafe upon the fmalleit eliJ'eoveries of the
fpirit of Chrill, though to the natural mind there may
be no form nor comclinefs in them : but it may forrow-
lully be fiiid, with nlpect to His inward appearance
the fecond time without fin unto falvation, that he
came to his own, but his own received him not ; yet
let us lemcmbcr for oux encouragement, that to as
many as did receive him, he gave powei to become
the fons of God. So that if we furrender ourfelvei
ns bands of the pottex, and our v. ills
to die refiners fii (hall, this way, be made living
rtakers <t t Chrift, being fools for
!.". lake, and, < ding to < ur meafw :mable
tth. This is an experience which clofes the
in aw. d reftrains the irn.i . m
■ ich
our not lufnciently em-
g the excel] dim, w] led as
SARAH G R U B B. 175
which, were covered with fnow in the latter end
of the fifth month, although the weather was
very hot with us. Thefe, with the fteep and cra,g-
gy rocks of Switzerland, and pines of various kinds
growing lpontaneoufly upon them, and forming
fhades and wildernefles, compofe a fcene in nature
truly magnificent ; indeed for fix hundred miles
back, the profpect of mountains fpread over with
vineyards, with the grandeur of the Rhine, flow-
ing below them, and its banks adorned with variety
and abundance of fruit trees in full bloffom, would
have afforded a fcene of pieafure to fpirits at liber-
ty for fuch enjoyment. But our hearts were on the
whole too fad to be captivated thereby •, a feed at-
tracted us in fympathy, which was not fo vifible,
nor had carried with it thefe fenfible delights ; and
for it, in part, we travailled in fpirit. We fpent
one day and ' two nights in Geneva, where being
informed that John Eliot and Ady Bellamy were
a lamb to the flaughter, and as a fheep dumb before
her fliearers. The fpirit of this world, in any of its
falfe refinements, cannot prefide here, neither can any
righteoulhefs of our own ; becaufe we humblingly fee
with the apoftle, that it is not for any of thefe works
which we have done, but of the mercy of Chrift,
that he faveth us, and by thofe means which he died
to obtain, even the walking of regeneration, and the
renewings of the Holy Ghoft. Fervently deiiring that
thy fineere mind may, through the humbling proceffes
of true fpiritual baptifm, be led, in the faith and pa-
tience, to the reft which is prepared for the children
of God. I remain in goipel love,
Thy Friend
S. G.
14
i-6 Th e LIFE of
waiting for us at Lyons, we baited to them,
and found their Tied by sk's detention
in that town. We joined them, and became com-
f rtable ; and fpending one day to reft and be re-
frefhed there, took a boat, and rapidly poured
down the Rhine, one hundred and thirtj two miles
in feventeen hours, to a place called Pont St. Efprit,
from which we came to Nifmes and Congenies, the
2:d and 23d of the 5th month, having travelled
nine hundred and fifty miles from Amfterdam. It
now looks pleafant to think of being foon amongft
our friends, and a people to whom we may (peak
without an interpreter; for in that rclpect our fitua-
tion is a fort of exile, but greatly made up, by a
fecret fenfe, more often renewed to us than we
might have expected, that we are here in the ap-
pointment of Him who gracioufly regards the fpar-
rows, in that not one of them falls to the ground
without His permifB I 1 truly thefe innocent open
b arted people are of mOX< value than many fpar-
.•s. We entered Nifmes, with huh a peaceful
enity upon our fpirits, as portended the acquaint-
ance we have fince commenced with minds panting
alter the i of Shiloh, and the ftrengthenii
eels of true urs. We went next day to
C tgenies, about four leagues. Our arrival drew out
of their ha' pie in general; fome
looked at th afto ait, and other's with
counter.. n: 1 which put me in mind of Mary's
fell . Thefe foon acknowledged
, and drew us into the houfe of a 1 , \ .li-
able widow, wh were folemnly faluted and re-
ceived, and our minds melted together; and fucli
SARAH GRUBB. 177
a ftream of gofpel love flowed, as fome of us
thought exceeded what we had before experienced,
though no words were ufed to exprefs it. "We ob-
tained lodgings at the houfe of a perfon not profef-
fing with them, with a view not unneceffarily to in-
terrupt them in their ufeful employments, and to
be at liberty ourfelves to go amongft them as there
appeared a fervice ; but we only lodged there one
night, and that with difficulty, their defire to have
us amongft them, and to render us their fervices in
their own way, was fo ftrong, that, after contending
the point, we gave way, and returned to the widow's,
where we were entertained with every thing of the
beft they could fupply. Our friends are moft of them
poor, induftricus people •, but we were favoured with
all that was needful, though thofe things we call fo
are fcarce, the country being generally overfpread
with vineyards, oliveyards, and mulberry-trees. It
can hardly be thought how comfortable we were :
peace of mind fweetens every inconvenience. We
found thefe people different from our fociety in
their outward appearance, and in their want of fet-
tlement, and fufficient quietude in their religious af-
femblies ; but the humility and fimplicity of their
meetings, attended with a lively confcioufhefs of
their own weaknefs, make them "ready to embrace
every offer of help, that is fuited to their capacity
and progrefs in the truth. There are a few of them,
amongft the younger fort particularly, who furnifh
a hope that there will be a fociety in this dark part
of the world, eftablifhed upon the right foundation;
We foon found, that to be ufeful to them, the
I 5
I ' Tun LIFE of
visitors murt; be weak with the vifited, and in chr -
tian condefcenfion bear with them, till truth opened
loor of utterance to mew them a more excellent
Way. Their monthlv meeting w.ls Ik hi on fir it day.
wherein, of theii own accord, they laid open their
cipline, by reading their minutes or agreements
acceded to on their firft fetting up thefe meetings ;
ich, for c< ncy with their profefilon, are, in
general, fupcrior to our expectations. But it extends
nq farther than to a care over their poor, and one
another's moral conduct; they have no other tenets,
nor any teftimonies, recorded, by which they may
be diftinguiihed ; and our little band were not with-
out a guard, with refpeel to prop* n nrging
any thing to them, which they h. not, at prefent,
a capacity rightly to adopt and fupport. At Con-
genie. 1 ;, and in its neighbourhood, we (pent two .
weeks; vifited all their families; attended their
Pirnthly meeting; had a meeting fur conference
■with the elder rank ; a youths meeting, and a very
fatisfaetory publi< meeting with the inhabitants ; and
ers folemn opportunities nnforefeen: .ill which
brought us into near fympathy with them, and often
deeply humbled and baptized our fpirits on their
account, as well as our own. Our parting was a
v i y affecting (me, but under a comfortable fenft
that t! ! v | [frael has them under His gra-
cious < n From Congenies we went to Giles's*
-i.< Ut tH miles, ■ h there ' W< n
v. ho prof - ' . , as they do
It ( : but thej do not appear fo much
in their ft to be
-. received us, however, with great
SARAH G R U B B. 179
kindnefs, and were pleafed with the viiit, which.
perhaps may be profitable to fome beyond what
we can now fee. As without faith it is impoi-
fible to pleafe our all-wife Director, fo it is
impofiible to perfevere and hold to the end in
His fervice, and in the humiliations which tl»e
creature meets with in it, without this precious
ingredient, which is his own peculiar gift, and ii-
lences all fleihly reafonings. After having three
meetings at Giles's, we came to Nifmes, and there
took coach for Lyons, one hundred and fifty miles,
From that we travelled pofr, by way of Roane,
Fontainbleau, Paris, and Verfailles, to Alengon,
where we arrived the 2d of the 7th month, feveral
of us being weak and weary, after having travelled
near fix hundred miles from Nifmes. In our way
to Lyons, we paffed through Dauphine, where
fome of our minds were not infenfible of an at-
tractive influence : but having no certain informa-
tion of fome we had heard of there, and feveral
of our company ftrongly bending homewards, it
did not feem the time eafily to find them out.
Truly there is a hidden, precious feed fcattered up
and clown, not only in thefe parts, but in Holland
and Germany, meafureably gathered, both from
the fuperftitious, and the vain world ; and feeking
a foundation whereon they may reft the fole of their
feet. This appeared beyond all doubt, both from a
little knowledge which we obtained in thofe coun-
tries of fome, and from that moft fure word of
prophecy, which penetrates the obfeure recefTes of
Sion's travellers, and unites them all together in
T hi J. I F E of
the ocean of gofpel love. At Alcncon, we were
affectionately received by John De Marfillac, and
courteoufly by his wife, who, through the whole of
our viiit there, which was three days, appeared to
enjoy the company of their \ilitors. Here we en-
deavoured to Ireih COUnfel about the way of
proceeding to England, which ended in the con-
clufion, of George and Sarah Diihvyn and John
De Marfillac going to the Ifland of Guernfey, to
vifit the few friends there; aud T. E. A. 13,
M. Dudley, my huiband, and myfclf, to London
directly, by way of Dieppe, which we purfued
accordingly, and arrived in London the 13th of
7th mo'njth 1788.
We have had a folitary and exercifing travel ;
but through infinite kindnefs, are again reitored
to our friends, and lb me of us to our native coun-
try. We attended the quarterly meeting of Lon-
don : the light of id many friends was new and
reviving to us; and the renewed evidence, that
; Lord had been mercifully with US, that he
had led us about, and instructed us, ami tender-
ly pr< !- rved us when, in child-like hmplicity, we
depended upon his counfel, afforded, and (till af-
fords, abundant caufe to praile him for his mer-
cies pah, and humbly hope for more.
Thus, after a journey of more than two thoufand
r .-. red mile , attended with many difficulties,
: 1 Pes of body and mind, (he ua
t( nel, in the 8th
month 1788, under the comi 1 nfe of divine
favour and •• Son ts of her letters
SARAH G R U B B. i3r
written after her return, on a retrofpect of this viiit,
appear to be worthy of infertion.
We have had, iince leaving York, many
new fcenes of trial, and new demonftration of provi-
dential care ; efpecially in the courfe of the long and
deeply proving journey which we undertook, in hope
that the Hand of Omnipotence led forth to the Con-
tinent. The ftate of mind in which I was involved
previous to it, the inexpreilible humiliations»and be-
fetments which attended the accomplilhment of it,
and fince that, the commemoration of unmerited
fupport, with the renewed difcovery of human frail-
ty, feem to change, in many refpects, the face of
this world to me. Not that I am redeemed from
the love of it ; but that I have learned to expect lefs
from it ; feeing more and more, that this is indeed
a probationary ftate of being, and that our fuffcrings
and joys in it are no otherwiie important, than as they
affect our attachment to the one great object of eter-
nal good, and our communion with it in the fllence
of all that is flefhly.
It is a joyous confederation, that the glo-
rious light of the goipel is emitted from the Sun of
Righteoufnefs ; and that, though inftruments may
be ufed to bear teftimony to it, yet that he, before
whom all nations are but as the drop of a bucket, .
the fmall duft of the balance, and who tak<;s up the
ifles as a very little thing, can, when they fail, do
his work without them, and " glorify the houfe
of his glory." I humblingly reflect upon our late
journey on the Continent, and am bound to ac~
i?i The LIFE of
knowledge (however as an individual I have failed in
truly faying, " thy will be done") that the word of
the Lord is fahhfulnefa and truth. My niind is fet-
tled in a comfortable belief, that, through the creat-
ing and converting word of Omnipotence, the pure
1 of divine life was \ifited with greater efficacy,
than the difcouragements which we were under, al-
lowed us to know at that time. Lut ah, poor Am-
(terdam ! yea, poor Rotterdam ! and many, many
places on that fide the Continent, touching whofe
inhabitants my foul, at times, fings mournfully to its
well-beloved !
SARAH GRUBB. -183
CHAP. VI.
Her Concern refpeEling a Boarding School for female
Youth. — Vifit to Friends Families in Cork. — Jour-
ney to London. — Vifit to Dunkirk, FIcI/and, Pyr-
tnont, &c. — Her Return — and Deceafe. — Tejlimo-
tiies concerning her.
IT may now be proper to take fome notice of a
concern which had weightily engaged her atten-
tion, refpedting the propriety of opening a boarding-
fchool at Clonmel, for the religious care and educa-
tion of female youth. This fubjec"i had, for fome time,
been deeply pondered, both by herfelf and her huf-
band ; and had, at length, fo matured in their
minds, as to afford an evidence that it would be
right to let forward the work.
Their motives for this undertaking appear to be
purely difinterefted, and with the fingle view of pro-
moting a guarded and religious education of chil-
dren •, being themfelves in eafy circumftances, and
under no neceffity to purfue this employment, for
family fupport.
When we confider the fufceptibility of youth to
early impreffions, with the general permanency
thereof on their minds 5 and reflect that they are
foon to participate in the concerns of life, and will,
in a few years, be the principals on this fcage of be-
1 34 The LIFE of
ing; we cannot but p i '.. five impor-
tance, both to individuals and the community, of an
early moral and religious education ; nor be furprif-
ed that this earned labourer for the cood of man-
kind, mould feel it her duty to cultivate this fure
ground of general reformation, and to encourage
others, upon pure principles, to engage in an em-
ployment fo truly honorable and productive of good.
Though under doubts and difcouragements of
mind, anting chiefly from the humble lenfe of her
own weaknefs, and want of qualifications for fo ar-
duous and important a fervice, flie was enabled to
open the propoied institution, the month after her
return from the Continent.
She was much concerned that the children com-
mitted to their care, might be preferred in inno-
cence, and trained in the paths of piety and virtue;
and when not called from home on religious fervice,
laboured faithfully in advancing fuch mcufures as
tended to promote the folid advantages of this inlii-
tution.
On the fubject of this fchool, there does not ap-
pear to be much remaining written by herfelf: a
few of her letters have, however, been collected,
expreifi ve of her tendernefs left flie might interfere
with other inftitutions ; and of her cautious fteppingS
in this concern ; with divers other inftruaivc fenti-
ments ; moft of which have been extracted, and are
as follows :
The profpc c~t of removing to Ireland in
line, continues to my mind very awful ; and un-
dertaking a matter of fo much coulecmcncc as the
SARAH G R U B B. 185
propofed fchool, is not lefs fo : but if our friends
whofe judgments we efteem, feel uneafy with it, and
freely exprefs themlelves, it will rather be a relief
than a difappointment ; efpecially as we have no in-
tention of getting, or faving money by it to ourfelves.
If we are but favoured to lee the work of our day,
and found faithful in the performance of it, though
ever fo humbling to flefh and blood, I fometimes
think, it is all that I dellre.
— I don't like the thoughts of crowding new
inftitutions upon friends, impofing objects, or doing
any thing which has the remoteft appearance of op-
poling our own, or others' profpects, by dividing or
fcattering the little ftrength, which, if put together,
might prove no more than fufficient for one under-
taking at fir ft ; though afterwards, it might encreafe
for whatever further openings might be perceived in
the truth.
I have, at times, been much depreffed
with a fear of interfering with the fchool at Mount-
mellick, and difcouraging the valuable friends en-
gaged therein. I felt moil eafy to write them a few
lines, with a view, as I tell them, " to open a door
for a free communication of lentiments, reflecting
what we both have in view ;" expreffing my love and
efteem for them, and belief, that as both they and
we are difinterefted in our views, defirous of promot-
ing the fame caufe, and rightly directed, we fhall
move, either feparately or together, with a comfort-
able degree of unity and fympathy ; and requefting
their opennefs with me, in faying whether any thing
has occurred to them, on hearing of our plan, which
i86" The LIFE of
would be any ftrength or encouragement to them,
and which i> in cur power to affords whether tins
wifh us to be united in our undertakings, or think
that two fchools will anfwer •, and Laftly, whether
tiuy do not think it will be better for them fteadily
to purfue their own profpccTs, till our houie is
opened, (if ever it fhould be) and then to ftand n -
figned, either to unite or keep feparate, as at that
time appears belt. So much feemed a little relief
to myfelf to fay, feeling great affection and ten-
dernefs towards them 5 at the fame time that my
own faith is nearly tried. I, however, feci a hope
as I am writing, that if our offering is not ac-
cepted, but proves like David's propofing to build
the houfe, that, neverthelefs, we fliall feel that fe-cret
fupporting language, " thou didlt well, in that it
was in thine heart, &c."
Doft thou not wonder at the undertaking
we have in view ? my dear R. G. has kindly con-
descended to make ample preparations for a board-
ing lchool for girls, and has built a conlulcrable
addition to our prelent dwelling ; which hands up-
on an ifland, in a navigable river called the Suir.
It is about a hundred vards acrofs, and near a
quarter of a mile long ; has on one fide of it, the
quay and town, and on the other, cultivated moun-
tains, which feem almoft to hang^ over it. The
profpec'i from the front of the houf< , is through
the garden and (hire, to the river and vail
ami is terminated by a very high and n ; ;ed
mountain, feveral miles diftant. The place is a'-
together very commodious, and pleafant for the
SARAH G R U B B. 187
intended purpofe •, but how we fhall meet with
fuitable, difinterefted* perfons for undertaking the
immediate care of the children, &c. is not clear ;
a hope however cheers us, that if our view? are
right, and deferving a bleffing, all tilings need-
ful will be afforded us in the needful time. I
fhould like to have fuch, for almoft every ftation
in the family, as poflefs a iincere concern for the
profperity of the work, and find a dedication in
their own hearts to it ; being afraid of drawing
any, merely to gratify ourfelves, that have not
fome fuch foundation to fupport them in feafons
of trial, which, generally, more or lefs, attend the
moft upright and difinterefted defigns.
I have had a very low dull time of late
about this undertaking, from a fear that we fhall
not be found equal to it. I don't mean, in the
fight of men, for probably we could not pleafe
all, let us do ever fo well ; but I mean in the
fight of Him whofe bleffing is more craved and
panted after, than the moft fpecious appearances
it can wear.
Having formerly mentioned the dif-
couragements of my mind in the fetting out of the
fchool we are engaged in, it is but juft alfo to fay,
that things reflecting it now wear a pleafanter af.
pedT:-, with a hope that that which was fown in
weaknefs, feems, through divine help, (for to that
only it can be attributed) riling into greater
ftrength. The minds of fome of our precious
charge are evidently encreafing in verdure, by the
dew of heaven •, and, in the general, innocence is
1 88 The L I F E of
to be felt from the influence of their fpii
Our helpers alio grow (we hope) in the root of
true religion. Indeed, did the world, or our re-
ligious and civil com. :th its inhabitants, fj
no more trouble to us than what we find upon
our little ifland, it would be too great a ltute of
profperity for human nature profitably to be in-
dulged with i for even that calls for a watchfulnefs
and induftrv, which the fiefh is at enmitv with,
and which I fear being found wanting in. To
feel an evidence that we are under the care and
blefllng of the Shepherd and Biihop of fouls, af-
ter conflicting doubtings refpecling it, is fuch a
cordial as reanimates the foul to fight the good
fight of faith, and to lay hold on eternal life. In
fealons of favour this has been the cafe ; but it
is hard to lay down all thefe precious gifts, ftill
to walk as the mafter walked, to teltify, by our
dedication, that we believe he came to fave iin-
ners, and, as to the means v - his glorious
work is promoted, to lay, " not my will, but
thine be done."
In the 12th month 1788, fhe engaged, with
other friends, in a viiit to the meetings and families
of friends in the city of Cork : and during her em-
ployment in that fervice, the following letters ap-
pear to have been written. Though they do not
exprefs much account of the viiit, yet they may be
acceptable, from the inftru&ive remarks they con-
, and the weighty and concerned fpirlt which
they manifcl't under this engagement.
SARAH G R U B B. 189
We have been fteadily engaged with fit-
ting in four families a day; and though we often
feem ready to give up, and feel like imprifoned fpi-
rits, yet, upon the whole, we have no juft caufe to
be diicouraged ; beft help being near to ftrengthen
us with might in our inner man, or fuch a propor-
tion of it as is neceffary for the performance of, and
perfeverance in, the work of the prefent day. As
doing the will of our heavenly Father, is the only
thing really worth living for, I wifh to confider it
as an unmerited favour, to know what that will is,
and to be furnifhed with any degree of capacity to
do it.
The feafon of the year, the clofenefs of
the city, and the complicated occafions of hea-
vinefs and depreffion, in the view of the ftate of
things here, all contribute to fuffering both of body
and mind ; fo that were Ave clear of unprofkably
adding thereto, we do not lack a pretty full cup
thereof. Indeed we have no bufmefs to feek for a
portion or baptifm, differing in nature from that
which the great Pattern himfelf fubmitted to, and
which the true feed here and elfewhere, have ftill,
for wife purpofes to experience.
Whether any good may come of our la-
bour and travel here, muft be left : it is the bleffing
only which can render this, and every other endea-
vour of the poor fervants, effectual to the building
up of any drooping member in the moft holy faith.
My foul has in the courfe of our vifit to the families
of friends in this city, pafTed by the gates of death.
But the deceitfulnefs of my own heart is fuch, that
i oo The LIFE of
it cannot bo removed by pleafant things ; nor docs
fitnefs for the little fervices we are engaged in,
fpring out of the moil fcnfible and gratifying opera-
tions of the fpirit ; but out of thefe unfearchable
b ptiims, which, neverthelefsj demonftrate they are
of the Holy Ghofl and lire, beraufe they have an
empty temple, a temple ready to be filled with the
prefence wherein there is life. According to my
(mall knowledge of good, I may afTert that, after all,
the joy of the Lord is our itrength ; and were it not
that, in the beginning of this viiit, my fpirit hail
been fweetly confolated therewith, I very much
doubt whether, from many of my feelings and deep
provings tince, I ihould have held out till now :
peradventure it polTeffed fome of that facred efii( acy,
which Elijah's forty days fuitenance i^ diftinguilhed
for, and thereby, to the praife of that grace, by
which I am what I am, my confidence has not whol-
ly failed me in the deeps. — All that i.-. within me
prays, that as we have been mercifully firengthened
to drink, in this place, a bitter cup, we may not, in
our own v ills, refufe any dregs which in infinite
wifdom are intended, in part, to conftitute the cup
ol falvation. But the ileili is weak ! A few have re-
\ ifed us, and whether their hearts will relent, is yet
to try. We cannot however but fympathize with a
tried, afflicted remnant in this meeting, whofe hands
I do believe, will grow ftronger and ftronger, be
more and more inftructed to war, ami their I.
to ■: ;lit ; for however the boafters over the pure
lowly K d may exalt themfelves, yet they cannot
ftand in the day of judgment, nor prevent the ful-
SARAH G R U B B. 191
filling of the promife, that the law fhall be magni-
fied and made honourable. I concluded to ftay
third day meeting 5 and though, as is often my lot,
fpeaking to men did not relieve my inward oppref-
fion, yet in profiration before the almighty Helper,
who in abundant mercy is touched with a feeling of
our infirmities, there was a fecret iuftaining evidence,
of living again in His prefence, whereby thofe bones
that were broken did rejoice. Thus are the poor of
the flock helped in their extremities, and encou-
raged to maintain their confidence in the omni-
potent gathering arm of Ilrael's Shepherd.
May we not be afraid of fuffering ; for
in this land however, they that dwell with the
feed, muft dwell in a low ipot, and give up their
names to reproach. " If ye were of the world,
the world would love you, but becaule ye are not
of the world, the world hates you : it hated me
before it hated you." To be of this happy, though
afflidted number, is more to be defired than to
join ourfelves in affinity with a fpirit which, in-
ftead of fuffering with the feed, wars againft it,
in the wrath and cruelty of the king of the locufts
which came out of the pit ; a fpirit that cannot
ftand in the day of judgment, but which being
airy and unfettled, leads from the quiet habita-
tion, and leaves the mind without a flay. How
excellent, yea how much to be defired, is that
fhate wherein, through holy chaftifement and fuf-
fering for the feed's fake, that precious feal of
adoption, the language of Abba Father, is feel-
ingly obtained and breathed ! This is indeed a
it; 2 The L IF E
Something in ourfelves wherein we can , an
unmerited gift whi< h ezi tudes all boalting, a
prefervative from moving in the line of others'
experience, further than it is made our own, or
from having our n j in them. Were the
active members of cur fociety, more rally and
individually gathered to this deep inward feeling
of the life of truth, and the evidence of its opera-
tions in themfeives, how much more effectual
would their labours be, in building up one ano-
ther in the molt holy faith? I am afraid for
(elf; I long to be more truly weighty in my
own ipirit; not to alf'ume a confequence amongft
men, or to plume myfelf with borrowed feathers j
but really to be preferred in company with the
feed, and through its operations, to live, move,
jnd have my being, in the church clpecially. A
ferjes of deep excrcilo has fallen to my lot, on
account of the law and teftimony of truth in this
province, and near fympathy with fome who dare
not let it fall to the ground, without di&overing
themfelve , and on whofe fide they are. Thefe
find it to be of trial, of perplexity, and of
ling down; and th< n an lo few, even arooi
the well minded, who are fkilful either in lamen-
tation, ( r in war, that the work lies heavy on a
few; and fometimes I am afraid, that the oint-
ment made after the art of the apd .iy, gets
ntlj tinctured by the <.\<..n\ Hies (th< un-
quickencd efforts for the caufe) being tail into
it.
SARAH G R U B B. 193
Though I often find it my duty to wafh
and anoint, rather than appear to men to faft,
yet the fecret travail of my foul is forrowful,
and befet with many difcouragements unknown but
to itfelf, and its almighty Helper ; and I find, that
the more deep and hidden my exercifcs are, and the
more I feek for ftrength to unite myfelf, in a cove-
nant never to be broken, with the Beloved of my
foul ; the more I am capable to diftinguifh the con-
folations of the Spirit, the pure unerring Spirit,
from every inferior or corrupt iburce of gratifica-
tion to the natural fenfes. I know my experience
of this is but very fmall, and yet, as far as I have
attained, I have abundant caufe to admire the wif-
dorn there is in the paths of true abafednefs and
felf-denial ; yea, the fovtrefs they lead to, and the
fafety there is in them.
Never are we favoured with a clearer perception
of our religious duty, in little as avcII as greater
things, than when our fpiritual eye has been pur-
ged, by the miniftration of fome baptifni that has
afflicYingly removed every film of felf-love ; which
difcovers itfelf by an over-attention to our own
reputation, to the eafe of the fiefh, and a defire
for pleafant things in fpirituals as well as temporals.
Ah ! mav we think nothing too near or too dear to
part with, for the fecret acceptance of the Belov-
ed! The very putting fjrth of his hand, as through
the hole of the door, little as the intimation may
feem, is a powerful call to admit him in the way of
his coming, however it may oppofe our own way.
K
>94 T h e L I F E o f
She attended the half year's national meeting at
Dublin in the 5th month 1739-, and from thence
went to York, where fhe made her relations and
friends a fhort vifit, and proceeded pretty directly
for the yearly meeting at London •, which fhe at-
tended, and returned home with an evidence, that,
in this journey, lhe had been occupied in her pro-
per place. This is agreeably teftihed by the follow-
ing letter, which is the only one that has appealed
on this occafion.
Our little fiock looks pleafant and healthy.
Our joy was mutual at meeting yefterday, and home
is felt by us to be a pe'accful retreat. In a little
fitting which we had at home in the evening, there
feemed fome ability to lie down as bcfiJe the fti'l
waters ; a confoling experience : and on looking
back upon our late journey, though there was no
great profeffed draft to it, a hope arifes, that, con-
fident with our religious duty, we were going on
with the work of the day.
In the latter part of the year 1709, lhe felt her
mind drawn to have fome public meetings in divers
places, where none of our fociety dwell, particu-
larly at the town and garrifon of Kinlale ; where,
as well as at other places, thefe Cervices tended to
open, and fpread the knowledge of the truth.
Concerning her vifit to the above-mentioned place,
(he writes thus :
— In much fear, and I truft humiliation of fpirit,
I have been to the town of Kinfale, and fullered to
have app Q >h an apprehenfion of duty,
a public U was large, nearly as
SARAH G R U B B. i 95
much fo as the houfe belonging to the fociety would
admit. There appeared to be about two hundred
people, who generally behaved with decency and
folidity, and the meeting was owned with the ga-
thering influence of Ifrael's Shepherd ; which, in
time of filence, was I thought comfortably experi-
enced. We alfo paid a vifit to the fort, and par-
ticularly to a large company of deferters, who are
collected there for tranfportation, many of them
good looking young men ; and I alfo ventured to
remind fome of the ofikers, of their religious and
civil duties. It was altogether a fervice much in the
crofs, and deferving of no reward, for want of time-
ly reiignation to it : but, in unmerited mercy, I
was favoured with a peaceful calm, which my be-
loved companions alio enjoyed, and earned with ho-
neft labour.
She was, indeed, much concerned, and laboured
in her meafure, for the propagation of that holy
principle, which is the light, and life of men ; and
fhe counted nothing too dear to give up, or part
with, for the promotion of this pure word in their
hearts. A renewed evidence of this appears, in a
frefh inftance of dedication to a very trying and
arduous fervice. During her late travels on the
Continent, her mind had often fympathized in fe-
cret, and been united in gofpei love, with a precious
feed fcattered up and down in thofe parts ; but
which, it feemed not then the appointed feafon, to
vifit in perfon. This time now approached, and,
as £he apprehended, in the openings of divine wif-
K 2
1^6 The LIFE ui
dom ; fo that fhe believed it her indifpenfable duty,
to give herfelf up, in pure refignation, to this fer-
vice ; which appeared in her view, to comprehend
.i vifit to Dunkirk, Holland, Pyrmont, and fo
other parts of Gennanv. Under the weight of this
important concern, fhe experienced the near fym-
pathy of friends of the monthly and quarterly
meetings to which fhe belonged, with thole of the
national meeting in Dublin, and yeai \ *
ing in London ; who concurred in teftimoniais of
their unity and approbation. Thus ftrcngthened
by the feelings and concurrence of the church,
and by a fimilar concern of her friend Geor
Dillwyn, fhe fet forward to engage in the work
before them, in the 6th month 1790; accompanied
alfo by her hufband and Sarah Dillwyn, who felt
their minds engaged to enter with them on this
journey.
Her letters written under the \ r PpecT: of this vi-
fit, during the progrefs of it, and upon it;, conclu-
cn, in general, fo regular and
nnected an I trther ap-
pc. ry, than to lay the ».
before the reader.
. 1790. 1 feem \:ry Like one vi.o hath
no reiting on earth, or an] coj lati h
in which 1 dare to truii ; but if i in found wort!
in the finalleit degree, to referable great aj
holy 1 profeflion, it is U.
to the performance of great works, 1 look nut
for it ; my mind is taught to believe that I have
bo right thereto, or reafon to expeel thai an m-
SARAH G R U B B. 197
ftrument fo feeble, and fo little a time in ufe, is
likely to be owned, in any extraordinary degree, in
the difcharge of my (mail part of the great work.
But my fpirit hath often been dipt into fympathy
mexpreiTible, with a feed in thofe parts, of which
I have not yet attained the outward difcovery, and
peradventure, this fecond vilit may prove like flfh-
ing, and catching nothing. This I deiire to leave,
and to attain to a daily and fimple reliance upon
unerring direction, which the creature knows muil
be attended with a dying daily.
2d month 1790. We iland in need of care, both
of our own, and that of our friends j our endea-
vours for peace being, in many refpects, in a line
rather new and important, and in which we deiire
to be preferved from moving further, than the
good Shepherd leads and goes before. — It has not
been without a portion of deep exercife, and fre-
quent baptifrns, known only to the Searcher of
hearts, that I have obtained fo much ftrenglh as to
caft my burden for a time upon the church j and
fince they have taken it, and I believe fome of them
felt it, my relief has, beyond my expectation, been
cfFedted. — But this is temporary. I know, in a fpi-
ritual fenfe at leaft, that bonds and afflictions await
me ; yet with thankfulnefs may acknowledge that,
feeling the everlafting arms to be underneath, none
of thefe things at prefent move me. — My capacity
to promote the work of righteoufnefs on the earth,
is very fmall ; but according to that capacity, 1
long to be found faithful, not counting my life dear
K 3
J9* Tin, LIFE or-
unto myfelf.— I have not heard of any c ompanion in
the little fervices before me, nor do [feci .my anxiety
on that head •, believing that, if the concern is right,
iuitable fellow labourers will be provided, without
any toiling interference of mine.
3d month 1790. May my mind be prcferved in
ftability to the end : for that I both watch -nd
, well knowing that when I lufe that, it muft
be diftinguifhed mercy indeed, that preferves my
poor little veffel from total wreck. As a very hard
gale of even fair wind may occaiion great danger,
fo I perceive that the urgency I feel, at times, in
my fpirit, to do the Matter's apprehended will, may
render fruflrate the gracious defign, if ballaft be
not on board. I never felt my mind fo fenfibly fuf-
tained in the profpedt of any journey before. I
efteem it an unmerited mark of the great Shepherd's
condefcending care, who hath, blelTed be his Name,
richly replenilhed my foul with faith, and fo abun-
dantly miniftered its tiller virtue, patience, that my
frail tabernacle being at times overcome, the lan-
guage of my heart is fimilar to that of the Spouie ;
M Stay me with flaggons, comfort me with apples,
for I am fick of love."
This is a dilpenfation which I do not expect to
continue ; for when a tcltimony of this love is called
for, when difficulties are to be encountered, both
within and without, when v. to be offered up
a licritice in the fervid of the chriftian faith,
oh how inconftant is the human heart ! how many
fnbftitutei for obedience, how 1 ... •
does it lind ! Remembering thefe things, the worm-
1
SARAH G R U B B. 199
wood and the gall, yea the anguifhing exerclfes at-
tendant on our late journey, my heart is humbled
within me, and preferved from expecting the journey
in profpect to be unmixed with fimilar trials ; or
even to fee in it, gratifying demonftrations of that
glorious work, which, in gofpel virion, is beheld to
be begun in the German Empire, and many other
parts of the globe lefs known to us. On any pre-
fumption of this fort, I have not dared to take one
ftep ; but have much defired that my fpirit may be
deep enough, according to my meafure, to fuffer
and rejoice only with the pure feed, whether ob-
vioufly the fig-tree blofTom, and fruit be on the
vine, or not.
On fecond day morning, at the yearly
meeting of minifters and elders held in London the
17th of the 5th month, cur certificates were read;
which, far beyond what I durft have looked for,
created expreffions of gofpel unity and church en-
couragement, that were not entirely unfeafonable to
my mind ; feeling myfelf as poor as feemed poflibie
for fpiritual exiftence. But what alfo greatly con-
tributed to lift up my head' above the overflowing
billows, and fay to the winds and the waves, " Be
ftill," was the indifputable evidence, that the Maf-
ter had feparated for a fimilar work, my beloved,
friend, George Diilwyn ; under which his oppreffed.
mind was conftrained publicly to acknowledge, to
his own and others relief, that he believed it to
be his duty to go with us. How precious is that
help, which is difpenfed in better wifdom than our
K 4
T h e L [ F E
n ! and being the fruit of mercy, it is often re-
r the momi tit of exti . It \
folcmn uniting feaforj ;, the fpirit and the 1 le (the
lurch) .:. to unite in the fam< lan-
guage of encour; at. I greatly deure a heart
capable of humbly and reverently returnin
able obedience for thefe favours, in the few feeble
fteppings through my future pilgrimage. Trials I
have learned to expert, having a difpofnion that
will not fuffer me to be exempt, till it becomes loft
in the ocean of gofpel love. In ourfelves, as in the
world, there is trouble ; oh that our acquaintance
may become more and more intimate with Him, in
whom is the fulnefs ot undefiled peace ! Then may
(..ice in every tribulation, which has urged us
to lay hold on eternal fubitancc. No female com-
panion appearing, our former valuable fellow tra-
veller, Sarah Dillwyn, was naturally looked to, and
no obstructions occurring, Ratcli'V; monthly meet-
ing (of which (lie is a member) cordially tcftiiicd its
til therewith, and granted her a certificate.
Thus we four being banded, hft London fjofhua
Be ping us; on the feventh day after
arly m eting. There we met with many
:e bone of our bone, and flefli of our flefli ;
I hav< fume of us at times felt, as
fully to c us that it was the work of Loth
ce and nature •, the latter of which, in our many
I trufl to be more aid more
full irt, der its will to the divine will,
ich indeed o iny bitter cups, and
amen to every requiring of
SARAH GRUBB. 201
truth. Without this experience, how are we like
bullocks unaccuflomed to the yoke ! The yearly
meeting was large, and fatisfaclory in a good degree j
but fuch afTemblies, compofed of minds Co various,
have generally a considerable portion of exercife
and weight for the feeling part of its members ; and
it is an unfpeakable favour that there are fuch pre-
ferved in the church, whofe fpiritual faculties are
fo alive, that, like watchers on the walls of Zion,
they can give an alarm at the new and various at-
tacks, which our common and unwearied enemy
is making upon truth's ramparts : and it is alfo a
diftinguiihable mercy in our poor fociety, that there
are, amongft the younger part of it, fuch as, by
the livelinefs and faithfulnefs of their fpirits, pro-
mife a fucceffion of ftandard bearers*
We were at Rochefter on firft day, at the
monthly meeting at Canterbury on third, and got
to Dover that evening ; from whence we failed next
day for Dunkirk, and had a fine, but flow pafTage,
being on the water iixteen hours. Here we found
John De Marfillac waiting for us ; and Jofhua Beale,
alio uniting himfelf to us, we became fix in num-
ber. The day we arrived, was their week daw
meeting •, and it may with thankfulnefs be acknow-
ledged, that it was mercifully owned with divine
refreshment, and the communication of counltl
from the living ipring thereof. And what tended
to heighten our joy, on fitting down with the
friends here, was the fcene which we had beheld
juil before. What they call the hoft was carried
K 5
202 Tkh LIFE Of
about, with fuch a procefSon of the army, .
poration, clergy, and little childn n, as I never
law before, or could have fuppofed ; there being
many thoufands both of people, and images ol
filver, pewter, and wood; hundreds of candles
near iix feet long ; abundance of rich fdk ami
other vefhnents; barefooted and ihaven beaded
friars-, mulic, drums, &c. cannon firing, and bells
ringing. So that, after all this ftir, to fit down
with our friends, under our own vines and fig-trees,
and meafurably to partake of fulut antral food, was
truly joyous ; and more efpecially fo, under the
belief that the one fhall decreafe, and the other
encreafe. We fpent a full week at Dunkirk, to a
good degree of fatisfae'tion, perceiving the Weffihg
that thofe new fetrlers may be in that land,
and at this important juncture, if they wifely
keep to, and are gracioully kept by, the preferv-
ing, unchangeable principle of truth. They are at
prefent worth viiiting, and their number is likely
foon to be encreafed from Nantucket.
After having four public meetings in Dun-
kirk ; (at all which divers not of our focicty at-
tended) and feveral private ones, we proceeded to
Offend, (B. R. going with us) here wc ("pent a
day to fali.sfaetion, finding a man ami his wife
from London belonging to the fociety, who had
not fctn any reputable friends for feven or eight
year.-,. Though they had the marks of being, in
fnmc degree, robbed and fpoiled, yet there was
alio fomething in them to vilit, and which accepted
SARAH G R U B B. 203
the teftimony of truth, as far as related to them-
felves. Divers books were alfo fcattered, and not
without a hope that the bleffing accompanied fome
of them ; for even in this little fervice, there is a
great difference in our feelings. It is often like
cafting bread upon the waters, and, fometimes,
without hope of return in any day or age. From
Offend we continued our courfe along the coaft,
by way of Bruges, Flufhing, and Middleburgh 5 at
the two latter of which, we folemnly paufed, and al-
fo expofed ourfelves to the obfervation and acquaint-
ance of the people ; intimating to fome our errand,
and making enquiry for fuch as were feeking the
truth. With fome fmall exception, they appeared
to be in their ffrong holds, and fenced cities, in-
tent upon thjs world's gain, which is, with too
much propriety, called their god. However, a few
books were left among them ; and finding the fon
of a friend at Middleburgh, we had an opportu-
nity of religious retirement with him, and of drop-
ping fuch counfel as opened therein. He appear-
ed, by his acknowledgement and attention to us^
to accept the vifit kindly ; but his fituation is ex-
ceedingly unfafe. From Middleburgh we went to
a little port, called Campveer, and there hired a
veffel to take us to Rotterdam. We had a very
pleafant paiTage, our minds being favoured with
much tranquillity ; and after a thirty hours fail,
arrived at our port, the 1 8th of the 6th month %
where, as we expected, we entered into a frefh
trial of fidelity to the precious caufe. Here y%§
204 The LIF E e f
ftaid three days, vifited fomc former acquaintances,
who were very kind ■, and commenced new ones
with fuch as Teemed to underftand how to receive
difciples, to the name of difciples. To one or two
of this elafs, our minds v. : particularly uni
Being there on a frit day, wc had two pi
meetings, both considerably attended, bur efpei
ly the latter, which was alfo a truly folemn and
profitable opportunity. Between Dunkirk and Rot-
terdam, ue had divers opportunities of difi
nating the knowledge of tbe principle of ti
by the difrribution of books, and fome confer-
ences in a private way ; but had no public meet-
ing, though our minds were, in feveral pliers,
brought under a confiderable weight of exercife ;
which fecmed to anfwer no more end, than the
people's walking round -the walls of Jericho *, and
were it not that we are convinced, tven from
outward obfervation, that the Lord is at work in
the kingdoms of men, and making a way for his
own feud, we might conclude, that the fortifica-
tions which this world's fpirit hath erected, par-
ticularly in Holland, will hardly ever be taken
down. Wc went pretty directly from Rotterdam
to Amfterdam, where we had our (hare of 1"<
dippings and difcouragements ; but not expecting
great things in our Petting out, or defiring to be
borne Dp above a feeling of what wc are, and
the oppreffion and obfeurity of the true iced, wc
are the left expofed to a fpirit of difmay; and
( >, in Simplicity, to fit down toge«
SARAH G R U B B. 205
ther, profefiTedly to wait for the guidance of truth,
or a difcovery that the cloud refts upon the ta-
bernacle. In theie feafons, we have been ftrength-
ened, and cemented in befl unity, and alfo en-
couraged to hold on in a path to be trodden more
by faith, than fight.
In the public meetings, of which we have at-
tended three, we experienced painful exercife •, and
yet I thought on firft day, that both the fittings
■were, upon the whole, folid and lively. We re-
ceived accounts of our brother, Joleph Grubb be-
ing in a very declining ftate of health, which had
made its appearance before we left home ; and
being in partnership with rny Robert Grubb, and
the care of bulinefs forbidden to my brother, my
hufband thought it his duty to offer him all the
relief he could ; a tranquil mind refpecting outward
things, being of unfpeakable confequence to the
latter part of a man's life : this, without any anx-
iety about our own property, and a prefentiment be-
fore we left home, that he would hardly go
through the journey, induced us, though much
in the crofs, to feparate. We were detained at
Amsterdam longer than we expected ; one occafi-
on of which was the printing of fome extracts from
Hugh Turford's writings, with an addition from
Mary Brook on filent waiting, which fome of
our company tranflated into French. It contains
very fuitable matter for the prefent age, and is an
acceptable publication to J. M. and B. R. to
diftribute in France, and alfo convenient to us in
zo6 T he LIFE of
this journey, as ni.uiy underftand French. We
have a large ftock of other books, very eligible
for our purpofe, which the meeting for fufferings
has given us for diftribution. The 6th of the 7th
month, we came to Utrecht, where J. M. bung ten-
der took cold, and was confined next day to the
houfe *, and as he did not ail a great deal, it fuit-
ed our plan of fpending one day quietly together,
before we parted, he and B. R. having conclud-
ed to go from hence to Dunkirk, and J. M. from
that place to his home. This has been a trial to
us, but knowing J. M's attention to beft direction,
and alfo his defire, if right, of keeping with us,
we dared not to pcrfuade him to fuit our incli-
nations and convenience ; and therefore, after en-
joying each others company, in fwect fellowfhip
and tendernefs of fpirit, we parted ; our little
band then conhfting of George 2nd Sarah Dillwyn,
J. B. and myfelf, with the moft arduous part of
the journey in profpect. Perhaps this ftripping of
outward help is wifely difpenfed to us : in that
light we view it, and dare not difpute divine fuf-
ficiency. Soon after our friends were gone, we
concluded to pay a viiit to a family of Amftcr-
dam, (with which we were acquainted when there
before) who now n.lide at their country houfe
about half way - from that city to Utrecht ; and
accordingly let off, and arrived about live, and
were re< eived more like near relations united on
tin- beft ground, than as people of another nation
and profeflion. "We aNb met here two women of
SARAH G R U B B, 207
considerable account on a. viiit ; to one of th.en>
particularly, our minds were nearly drawn, and
the little inftruction which was in our power to.
communicate, from the exercife of our minds,
broken French, and the ufe of the fcriptures, to
particular paffages of which we directed them as
they occurred, was received with a religious fenfi-
bility, which greatly united us together, and which
words cannot fully fet forth *. Though we often
* Some time afterwards, fhe wrote the following
letter to one of the women of that family. Remem-
bering thy requeft to hear from our little company when
we returned from Germany, and being now lb near
you, I felt an inclination to tell thee, and thy valuable
brother and filler, that, through the merciful direction
and care of providence, we have got along to a good
degree of fatisfaction, and been favoured, upon the
whole, with a moderate (hare of health. We purfued
our journey from Utrecht, by way of Arnheim and
Munftcr, to Pyrmont ; there we ftaid two weeks, and
then went to Rinteln, Minden, Ofhabruck, and Bile-
feld, and fo, by way of Munfter, to Crevelt, Dulleldorf,
Mulheim on the Rhine, Elberfelt, and from thence to
Cleves. We found a few in many of thefe places, who,
being weary of the ceremonial part of religion, are de-
firing its living fubftance, and to be true wcrlhippers
in fpirit. Thefe have many difficulties from within and
without ; but if they depend, fingly, upon divine help,
and ceafe to recommend themfelves by their own dead
works, we have a hope, that they will gradually retire
from the confufion of the carnal mind, to the true
iheepfold. Were the profeflbrs of chriitianity more ge-
nerally acquainted with the undented reft, which the
redeemed mind is ftrengthened to gather to, they would
detect; the fallacy of unfanclified forms and miniftry,
and rejoicingly receive the eternal Witnefs for God
238 T he LIFE of
lament our ignorance of the language of this
people, and its attendant inconveniencies, yet I
v.. is never more convinced of the influence of
truth qualifying to fpeak to one another in our
Own tongues, though utterly incapable in any other
language, than that of the fpirit ; for in the pre-
fent cafe, we were not fenlible of either us, or
the caufe, fuffering under our apparent diladvan-
tages. We cannot always judge why we are lb
led, and why i'o deftitute of fome outward accom-
modations to the fervicc, which human prudence
would naturally point out ; but I may acknowledge
that, on this account, I never was more content-
ed and fupported in an humble truft, that the
good and Almighty Hand is with us in ° thefe
mortifying labours." We left Utrecht on feventh
day morning, and came to Wageninge, which is
an agreeable little town. The inhabitants were
greatly furprifed at feeing us, but became uncom-
monly civil and courteous ; in part owing to a
man who drove us from Utrecht, who by fome
means, unknown to us, conceived lb favourable an
in thcmfelves, for their Lawgiver, Friend, and Com-
forter.
We reflect with I on OUT vifit to ?diddle-
waart; not only in remembrance of your affectionate
hofpitality, but alio of the ani tue oi truth u
our minds which left a | favour after wc ;
rated; and now reviving, with renewed defire for all
our pre! n, and iucr
herd > f bis (beep, 1 falute thee, d
in utterly affection.
G.
SARAH G R U B B. 209
©pinion of us, and fcemed furniflied -with fuch
materials for defcription, that wherever we ftopt,
he was fure to influence the people in our favour,
and they united in tcftimonies of affection and
kindnefs. We fpent all firft day in Wageninge 5
had a little, but folemn and refrefliing meeting of
our own company, and had alfo the company of
a young Prieft of good character. He and George
Dillwyn converfed (I believe intelligibly) upon
forne important fubjects in French, though per-
haps neither of them were fully acquainted with
the language ; but the beft fenfe being prefent,
that defect was made up thereby.
We left a few fuitable books with them, which
were very kindly accepted ; and our parting was
with 'apparent fentiments of affectionate efteem.
We alfo gave books to divers others, and had a
fatisfaction in fpending this little time amongft a
kind, fimple hearted people. The people of the
inn are particularly of this defcription, their con"
duct manifefting a pleafure which they had in en-
tertaining us. Thefe comfortable fpots and feel-
ings, fomewhat refemble Elijah's food, on the
ftrength of which he had to travel many days.
As neither Che great work, nor the capacity to do
it, is ours, fo we may be emboldened to hope,
that our acceptance will ftand in proportion to our
obedience to that we have, rather than to that we
have not. From Wageninge we came to Arnheim,
where we fpent one day agreeably, were at the
houfe of very civil people ; and though we did
not commence much acquaintance, yet were fatis-
210 The LIFE of
fied with our little detention there, and to one or
other left feveral books. Here we met with a kind
man who fpeaks Engliih well, fays he was feafon-
ably, and effectually (erred by a friend in England,
when he was a ftrangcr there ; and this is (no doubt)
an additional inducement to lay himlclf out to
oblige us, which he does with the appearance of
much fmcerity. Thefe journies, I fomctimes hope,,
will in future open my heart with more cordiality
to ftrangers ; for " knowing the heart of a flranger,"
a deficiency herein would be doubly culpable. The
next place we went to wns Doefburgh, where our
feelings were rather unuiually pleafant ; but wc
did not find any ftop thereby in our progrefs. The
landlady at the inn where we ftopped, appeared and
approved herfelf to be far from the common fort,
for dignity of manners and folidity, if not religious
wcightinefs of mind. Her conduct to us was truly
friendly, manifcfVmg an affection and liberality be-
coming other parts of her character. We gave he*
a Barclay's Apology in Dutch, and feveral books in
French, which fhe appeared fully qualified to read,
and in a good < I to underhand: fhe wanted
much to pay for them, but on any terms was glad
to receive them •, and after looking over the fuin-
mary, promifed to lend them among fome of her
neighbours. Germany is a country very unlike the
Netherlands, both in the face of it, ana in the
manners of its inhabitants ; the people being kept
in a ftatc of greater fervility under princes of final)
territories. Our difficulties in the way of travel-
ing commenced when we left Holland i for alter
SARAH GRUBB. 211
gliding along in Treckfchutes, upon their quiet
waters, we got into waggons, the belt, public con*
veyances the country afforded, and the roads being
extremely bad, we were jolted to a degree not eafy.
to fuppofe ; and for want of knowing the language,
were impofed upon, and induced to take our paf-
fage in the poft waggon, understanding that we
ihould have it to ourfelves, arrive feafonabiy at our
lodgings the two nights in profpect, and have time
enough for reft. But inftead of thefe fine things,
after they got our money, a Capuchin Friar, and a
very ill looking man, were put in with us, and we
kept in this Situation, with two meals wanting,
through a dark rainy night (the wet coming in
upon us) till three o'clock the next morning \
when, after two houri reft, we were Summoned
again, and without flopping to take any meals,
fave our dinners, travelled on till we arrived,
about one o'clock next morning, at the gates of
Munfter, a fortified city ; where we had to wait
for an entrance more than half an hour ; and
then had to find our lodgings among a people of
a Strange language, whofe principal object was to
get from us all they could. This is a hint of
the manner in which we got along, and I men-
tion it to Shew the inconvenience Strangers are
Subject to, and how different the fare of thefe
countries is from that of England ; a» the fame
time an acknowledgement of providential care is
abundantly due from us. Our minds, during this
extraordinary trial of body and Spirits, were re-
markably Suftained with cheerful tranquility, and
212 The LIFE of
an abounding defire to comfort one another in
this painful imprisonment. We were alio pre-
fcrved at the time from differing in our health,
and found that part of two days reft in Mun-
Itcr, recruited us finely.
Our flay in that city was very fatisfnetory, finding
it to be a place of confidcrable opennefs. One man
in particular, a profefTor cf languages in the univerfity,
who was fick, received our men with brotherly af-
feclion and joy, had very f^isfacftory converfation
with them, and was glad to receive divers of our
books, fome of which he intended to put into their
public library. He told them of a relation of his, in
a part of Germany where we have not been, who is
fully convinced of our principles, but who has not
dared openly to avow them ;' and faid, that in fome
other parts, there are many fuch, which we have
fmce found to be the cafe. A ferious young noble-
man, a pupil of his, intending to take a tour to E: -
land, was defirous of being recommended to fome
friend in London, in which George Dillwyn gratil I
him. Many other opportunities occurred of calting
books into the hands of ferious people, and in an
imperfect way intimating to them fuch truths, as at
that time we were furniihcd with. From Munfter
we came, by way of Warrendorf, Padderborn, &c.
through Weftphalia, to Pyrmont, which we reached
the 23d of the 7th month. Here our minds were
foon comforted in the belief, thai tl ! re is a feed i-n
thefe parts, which, however hidden from the world,
and the many churches profefling the chrifti ne,
are preffing after an eftablimment on the right foun-
SARAH G R U B B. 213
dation. Our minds were greatly favoured with
peaceful ferenity, and a fteady reliance on providen-
tial care ; fo that inftead of difficulties depreffing,
they rather animated our fpirits to prefs forward, to-
ward the fulfilling of our allotted portion of travail
and exercife, and to bear up one another, according
to our ability, through all. Nevertbelefs, there
have been feafons when Satan did not fail to fuggeft
to the weaknefs of my mind, that we were running
in vain. But to all our humbling encouragement,
after we arrived at Pyrmont, and particularly in the
fecond meeting there, among a fimple hearted, feek-
ing people, we were convinced that it was not fo,
and that infinite kindnefs would alfo preferve us
from labouring in vain. It was an opportunity
wherein (to the praife of the grace which Ave depend
uponj we may fay, that, for a time, " the feed
reigned over all." Vifitors and viilted experienced
it to be a feafon of uncommon contrition, and du-
ring the extenfion of the holy Wing, our fpirits
feemed gathered into perfect unity •, fo efficacious is
divine .life and love ! It appears that two years ago,
there were about twenty in Pyrmont, who being un-
eafy with the dead formality of many profeflbrs, met
together in their own houfes, fometimes reading,
finging, or praying, as they apprehended moft right.
They underwent conliderable perfccution on this ac-
count from the avaricious priefts, who perfuaded
people not to do buiinefs with them ; and being ge-
nerally low in the world, they fuffered in this ref-
pecl ; but it appears that they were not hindered
U4 T nt e LIFE of
fhereby from meeting together: yet their reft, not
being a pure one, was broken up j fome of them
finding their reformation from what they few to be
wrong, was very fmall, concluded there was fome-
thing more fubftantial than what they had vet expe-
rienced ; and this being fuggefted to the reft, occafi-
oned a divifion amongft them. A few re tur ned to
the profeffion they had left, and the others ce.d'ed
to meet together •, yet it is wonderful to fee the bro-
therly kindnefs which diftinguifhes them from others.
They call themlclves friends, and w ; th much pro-
priety, to each other. We fpent about two weeks
in Pyrmont, with fatisfaction of mind. For three
rooms, three beds, fire, candles, and the ufe of the
kitchen, we paid 15s. per week, found our own pro-
ins, cooked them ourfehes, with the affiftancc
of a girl, and an elderly man, one of the friends who
fpoke Englifh pretty well. lie marketed for us, in-
terpreted on more in mt occafions, and ferved
us with grr a folidity and checrfulncfs. In many
refpects, we felt as if v. v re at home, though
amongft a peopl ■, few of whom knew whal we faid ;
but they told us !>y lions, that they felt that which
was better than words, and which re [uired none to
fet it forth: O ! that we may be preferred in, and
feel more and more bound to, our own line and
meafurc of duty ; tint as the work is the Lord's, the
management i it may alfobeinhis wifdom/and tend
to his glory ; ■■ u no matter how low and aha.'-
cd the creature becomes. During our ftay at Vy<
mont, we had many mcctiri;, , ' me of which were
SARAH G R U B B. 215
uncommonly contriting opportunities, -wherein their
doubts feerrred to fubfide, and the virtue of truth to
fweeten and refrefh their weary fpirits *. In many
refpects they are weak, and yet fo fincerely deiirous
to obtain " the one thing needful," that we enter-
tain a hope, that fome of them will encreafe in fted-
faftnefs to what they know to be right. Our minds
are often involved in difcouragement and conflict :
the weaknefs of our frames, and perhaps the prof-
peel: of the unfinifhed part of the work, may be the
occafion of thefe. But let us remember, that till
they are overcome by the power of victorious faith,
it is our feed time rather than harveft, and therefore
we are called upon, by merciful and heart-folacing
intimations, to low in hope. Whether any apparent
fruits ever appear from this journey, we feem com-
fortably fatisfied at times, that it will not be loft in
the unlimited family of the one univerfal Parent ;
and if we are but favoured to keep the word of his
patience, fo as to hold out to the end, and return
without condemnation, it will not be loft to us. We
fet off from Pyrmont for Rinteln upon a different
plan from that on which we had travelled before j
for having a man to do little fervices for us when
there, who is one of their friends, and fpeaks Eng-
lifh well, we faw an extraordinary convenience
would attend bur taking him wi'th us; and there-
* At one meeting' we had the company 'of four men,
who walked the day before near twenty miles, to fit
with us ; and that of another man, who came about
forty, alfo on foot.
2i6 The L I F E of
fore have taken a ii^ht \ . , and a pair of horfcs,
which faves us i: n and trouble in procuring
carriages. &c.
Our man conducts hhnfelf with
and Simplicity, asour friend, | . interpreter, ai
fervant ; being cl reat deal for
us befides. We fpent a week at Rinteln, ad
eral meetings amongft them, | private n
•us opportunities, in 1 their fai
and I me of our books for a univerfity in
that town. In our \ \ ;:ni: through
a (kirt of Hanover, where we beheld, in the im-
provements of the country, and the nee
of the ; oce of Eng-
land. About Rinteln, there are r twenty of
thole who call th s friends, and fome ot
m we b< . to be i ted people, and
confideral inward work, of re-
ion j of wh lave a comfortable hope,
\ ' r known to our redj
Or not. We are now in this
country u of inward p
and with n t, of ouri
• can ; that beft *
dom has turned u field of lubi
not, with our i defert it ;
but v | « >m fpo; to fpot, as >
hend is in r duty. From Rinteln
w. re we found a lit-
<lr company ot I ted, and ta
rs, who appeared glad '1
SARAH G R U B B. 217
vifit, and exprefTed a belief that it was in divine
appointment for their good. They feemed more
deiirous for a right opening to fit down together in
filent waiting, than to enter into converfation about
what they had already experienced. We had feveral
folid, and I hope edifying, meetings among them,
to which feveral came from the country many miles
on foot, which demonftrated their earneftnefs to
be helped on in the right way ; amongft thefe was a
blind woman who gets her living by ipinning, and
who walked feventeen miles to meet us. She is an
"example of chriftian fortitude, and true nobility ;
for on our aiking her, if fhe was not under difficul-
ties in procuring herfelf a living, fhe gratefully an-
fv/ered, that her friends fometimes helped her,
that fhe knew fhe was poor, but when fhe reflected
upon her fupplies, and the query revived in her
mind, f* if fhe lacked any thing," the acknowledg-
ment always fucceeded, « nothing, Lord." She
told us, with great humility and tendernefs, that
her knowledge of the truth was not obtained by
books or outward means, but by the operation of
the divine principle in her own heart. I hope we
have been preferved, thus far, from drawing the
inward attention of thofe whom we have vifited,
to ourfelves, or attaching them in the affectionate
part to any reprefentation of good. The fecret,
fympathetic exercife which we have felt on their
account, and in company with them, hath, I do
believe, brought us all at times, to the renewed
difcovery of the everlafting foundation ; and we
L "
2i3 T.iir. LI V E
have a hope that fome of thefe will acceptably
build thereon. We here met v. t civility, and
tendcrnefs of lp : r!r, from a coimFellor and dire*
of this place ■, but the crofs is a mighty (tumbling
block j he often makes me think of N HIS :
■I wo left the town, he kindly went before us to
an Inn on the road, where he had provided codec,
and convened i'cveral of the friends to fake their laft
leave; a parting which I hope was attended v. ith
true lblemnity, as well as brokennefs of fpirit. "With
:, he exprefTed his defire, that He who laid he
wouiJ be widi his difciples to the end of the world,
would go with us, and blefs bis own work. Next
day we travelled towards Bucr, and dined fweetry
in a field, on proviiion which we took with us,
whilft o lt >ng corn. We then turn-
ed a little out of the road, to vifit a man and his
wife, whom the i touting for abfenting
themfelves from his place of worfhip. lie has got
the Magiftrate to fine the . neai • (hillings,
:h is a great deal for th< \ refill-
ing to pay it, horn an apprehenlion of duty, have
ith chr fitn-
■ two hi
with them I hope t.> oar .•. i I their i
■ .t on ' r. In the . of
WO live a 1. Xion's tr.v.
tad a meeting -, and cm- •.
:r bei r, by bis good fpirk, rendi
an humbling a We have
y encampments, and when we lh.dl get through
v . i»y uncertain; for my part, I
SARAH G R U B B. 215
fee no way yet ! This blindnefs is, probably, to try
my patience, of which I feem, at times, to have a
reducing ftock -, but am fecretly fupported, in know-
ing Him in whom I have, through holy help, be-
lieved. We have great caufe to be humbly thank-
ful, for that portion of fere direction and ability,
which, for our inftruction as well as comfort, have
been revealed in the midit of our weaknefs, and
become as a table in the wildernefs, furniihed with
food wifely adapted to the nectffities of weary anci
hungry travellfrs. It feems very fmgular, when I
recollect myfelf, that we are keeping houfe in Pruf-
<ia, and conilderably united to fome of it's inha-
bitants, who were lately entire ftrangers j and, in
degree, feel as if we were at home, though fo
far from that which is called home. It is a lit-
tle like being in a new world, yet fo near
the old one, as to be diftinguiihed for Similar
evils, and that ftjfjion which pafieth away, when
truth, which is ftrongeft of all, takes ks pofTeffions.
It is very pleafant in thefe journeys to feel this
fentiment lively upon our fpirits, " the earth is the
Lord's," Sec. We went from Buer to Ofnabruck
the 26th of the 8th month, where we fpent feveral
days under confiderable exerciie of mind, and not
finding that our viilt was likely to be attended
with any ufe, and being alfo fatigued various
ways* we were fo difcouraged, that we were about
concluding to leave the town next day, thouck
we thought the way to it had opened as clear! v as
to moft places we had been Rt-3 but on feeling
220 Tun LI F E o f
further about it, we thought it fafefl to try a lit-
tle longerj and not nunc in the dark. Our lit u-
ation was unfavourable, being .'i .: Roman Catholic
Inn where the Proteflants are afraid to come, and
.our Friend and interpreter having no acquaintance
in the place. Thus we continued 'till feventh
day evening, without any thing fatisfactory occur-
ring, except giving a few fummarics * to fomc
fhopkeepers on whom we had called, and having
the company of a young woman who had enquir-
ed concerning us, and difcovered a ierious delire
to be with us, and to have fomc of our books : flie
appeared to us to be poiTciTed of much fweetn
and valuable lenlibility. On (eventh day evening,
our men called upon the merchant, on whom
they had a letter of credit, who (peaks EnglHh well,
behaved with great kindnefs, and foon apprehend-
in ;' : r errand, (having fome knowledge of the
fociety in England) went with them to an overfeer
of part of his bulineis, who was a religions man,
and difcontented with the ceremonious put of the
world's worfhip. They found this perfon a little
ftiy at firft, but he foon opened to them With fim-
;v, and. difc( eered himfelfto be a man who
awakened to a profitable fenfe o( his own (1
and. to a fincere defir< to be led in divine coun-
ter acceptance than the (ha lows of things
Id yield him. He came with them to the inn,
and at the evening agreeably together. He
* Theft W( re books containing a uunniary account
ur prmcipl
SARAH G R U B B. 221
told us of a few more in the town of his fenti-
ments, who met together every firft day evening, to
read, &c ; and on being afked, if they would be
willing to lit with us after our manner, he expreiT-
ed his own inclination fo to do •, and after inquiring
of others, told us next morning, that it was agree-
able to them all. In the morning, we were fur-
prized and comforted with the fight of a very folid,
feeling young woman from Buer, in the capacity of
a fervant, who had walked fifteen miles to meet us,
in confequence of a fecret draft in her own mind,
without having any reafon to expect, from what had
parled, that we fhould be at Omabruck fo long.
After getting her fome refreshment, we fix fat down
together, and had a ftrengthening opportunity,
.wherein dear George Dillwyn miniftered to us. At
four in the afternoon, we had a meeting with about
eight more, amongft whom was an officer, who be-
haved folidly. It Was a time of favour, and I be-
lieve deep inftru'ftion to fome there, who had not
before feen the neceffity of ceafing from their own
works, and depending only upon the renewal of di-
vine life in the foul, for qualifications rightly to
worfhip. After meeting, we paid a villt to one of
their friends who was lick, with whom we were led
into fympathy and filence, and to whom we impart-
ed fuch counfel as truth unfolded at that time.
Thefe were relieving circumftances to us, and fet
us at liberty, comfortably to depart on fecond day
morning for Hertford or Herwerden. We therefore
fet off with the profpect of a pretty eafy day's jour-
L3
2.2 The LIFE
O F
ney, but found the road very rough) and in many
places dangerous, and more of it than wc expe&ed ;
fo that v.'C were grievoufiy jolted, and out till near
ten at night, very contrary to our inclination •, for
we tried much to get lodgings in a town a few miles
off, but the people would not take us in. We ap-
pear very ftraage to many here, but fo different to
a few who are acquainted with the truth, that the
diftinc"tion of countries feems almoft loft, and proves
the cementing virtue of religion. At Hertford we
were vifited by two religious men, who come un-
der the description of thofe called friends in thefe
parts ; and they wore encouraged to faithfulncfs.
Our men alio vifited a lawyer, who being difcon-
tented with the ufual ceremonies of religion, &c,
ps much to himfelf. Next morning as we were
at breakfait, propofing to depart, there came two
men from i .it parts, who had walked many
miles through the rain to meet us. One of thefe
, fome time ago, rcfufed to be married by the
. . ft, in which, and in other things, he bore a
deady t ftimony, under perfecution, againft an hire-
ling minidry. The opennefs, kindnefs, and folidity
of his nianriers and countenance, were pleafant to
us; and being evidently acquainted with filent wait-
1Q ■-, wc had a folemn initruetive opportunity to-
hither. From Hertford) we proceeded to l>ilcfeld,
a tow:i win re, and in its neighbourhood) there are
many religious people, and pari i larly agreeable as
to the outward ; but it was a wifit attended with as
nual travail ol
have experienced in any , in i
SARAH G R U B B. 12+
which, with the providential openings, and ftrength
to vilit the precious feed in the needful time, tend-
ed to convince us that we were in the way of our
duty ; a mod cheering evidence, in this dreary
wildernefs, and a full reward for all our little toils.
At this place there are fome who live feparate from
all public profeluon, who under an apprehenfion of
being turned out of the way, \vere afraid, for
a while, to give us any of their company : but be-
ing alfo afraid to let the opportunity flip, we wr
invited to one of their houfes, to confer with feverai
of them on fuch fubjects as might occur, in order to
know a little of each other. Both fides were fome-
what furprized to find fo much fimilarity of fentiment,
refpeeting the ground and teflimonies of trutlu
They told us, that if there were a people there, who
ceafed from all forms or activity of their own, and
fat down in fimple dependance upon the operation
of the hcavenlv pift, they would embrace them
with brotherly affection, and rejoice to unite with
them herein ; but they were lor.th to believe, that
they two or three might be required to bear fuch a
public teflimony ; nor were they willing to unite
with us in fo doing, for fear of the people whole
eyes are much upon them. They are people of con-
fiderable account, and are very fearful of drawing
the lower clafs of their neighbours to themfelves \
and being of Nicodemus's clafs, like better to ob-
tain and enjoy, their religious knowledge in private.
We had, neverthelefs, feverai opportunities of folid
conference together; which were attended with
L 4
T n e LIFE or
great unanimity and cordiality; the la ft of which *rt
particularly owned with the circulation of di\ ; nc
\ irtnc, and with ftrength fully to relieve our minds
towards them. We weir very kindly invited to the
houle of a merchant, who appears to be a very
fincere man. We paid him and his daughter a
morning vifit ; hut they were not content with that,
and therefore prefled us to fpend firft day evening
with them. In the morning of that day, we fat
together in the inn, where we had the company
of an honeft man, who came on foot fixtcen miles
to be at meeting with us, and alfo of four others,
of the town. In the afternoon, as J. B. was tak-
ing a folitaiy walk, he was met by a ferious man,
▼.•ho delired his company to a houle a little way out
of the town ; he complied with his invitation, and
n they got there, they found fourteen people
met together, for the fake of religious improvement,
who foon made their requeft that we would all go
and fit with them. I was laid down, in a tried
fituation of mind, when J. B. brought the invi-
tation which had in it fo much of the right
favour, that we embraced it, and immediately fct
oft", having above an Englilh mile to walk. By the
time we got there, they were about twenty in num-
ber. We foon fettled down into a filence truly
folemn, which I 1 .'. considerable time without
interruption of any kind j I when the channel of
instrumental ministry !, the as lite mer-
cifully continued, and our parting was under its
taring impi 1 bis circumftance, ol drop-
ping in with a people of whom we had had no in-
telligence, and with v !■.< m '• •- no further
SARAH G R U B B. 225
acquaintance, with the fenfible feeling of divine care
over thole who are as fheep having no fhepherd, af-
fords altogether a iweet and pleafant reflection ;
accompanied by this encouraging truth, that " the
Lord can make a 'way, where there i'eems to be no
way:" O that He may gracioufly continue thus- to
favour us ! After this opportunity, we went to the
aforementioned merchant's, and were treated with
genuine hofpitality. After fupper, there came in
eight or ten perfons with the expectation of a meet-
ing, in which they were not difappointed ; and I
hope it was edifying to them, George Dillwyn hav-
ing iuitable and lively matter to communicate. We
had alfo a religious fitting with a family from
Elberfelt, a lively fpirited couple, and another per-
fon with them. After fpending five days here, and
bearing the crofs as faithfully, perhaps, as in fome
places where a more open door was minifrered, we
departed in much peace, and under the belief, that-
the power" of truth is making its own way in thaft
neighbourhood. In our way from Bilefeld, W3
flopped at a large village called Guterflots, wher3
there are many well difpofed people* We ftaid one
day there, and fat with a few people who met us at
one of their houfes ; after which, and distributing a
few books to others in the town, we went forward
to Munfter. We are often very weary, and the ac-
commodations we meet with but indifferent, eorn>
pared. with thofe of England: the roads are alfo bad
where we have already been, which, with the con-
(Inaction of the carriages, occafion us fometimes to
L5
226 The L I i £ or
be grievoufly jolted ; and vet v;c have no caul',
complain, having our confohuiom. . U toils ;
a^ it ieldom happens that Zion's tr are quali-
fied to flute each other, even in a thon y difficult
way, but the immortal birth) in ." .. •' "ce, I
for joy. This experience, with t' . f that the
Lord is at work in the kingdoms of mei I i I
gracioufly rewarding fuch feeble endeai is ours,
with a morfel of the bres d that the w< i I lows
not of, render any little ferviccs of ours as oh
unworthy the notice of ourfelves, or our friends.
From Munfter we went to Crevek. We found, our
difcouragements on entering it, being refuied admif-
lion at one inn we went to, and at the next, we had
fuch a crowd gathered about us, with fuch fhout-
ings and rudenefs, as greatly frighted our hone
after we were out of the carriage, and our driver
had alighted} fib that they ran away, and he follow-
ing, and taking held of a chain behind, was thrown
down, and his head, to appearance, much hurt
againft the wheel. Some of our feelings were low
enough on this occafion. But through the couth,
kindnefs of providence, our man f«»on recovered,
being able to move about next day •, and the people
of the houf'e conceived fuch an affectionate refpeel
for us, and treated us with huh true C \ Lity, as
made our fituation fo far comfortable. We alfo
gradually made fo much acquaintance, as afforded a
degree that our going to C
and that our fecrct and known exert if s there, will
not be in vain. About the time rf OUT concluding
to come away, tfw cqm£any began to be mere
SARAH G R U B 15. 227
foupht ; which opened the way for the difpofal of
fome of our books, and I feel a fecret hope that
they will be blefied to fome there. We came to
DufTeldorf where wc ftaid one day, and had the
enjoyment of M. Wetterboar's company. He feems-
aged, but is alive m the truth. We proceeded to
Mulheim, where we arrived the 23d of the oth
month. It is a town about two miles from Cologne^
like a Gofhen on the confines of Egypt, where
many awakened, and feme truly religious people re-
fide. We commenced an acquaintance with a few,,
who have got a clear infight, from the work of truth
in themfelves, into the gofpel difpenfation, and the
fpirituality of the chrifrian religion •, concerning
tlicfe we have encouraging profpecls ; yet not with-
out a mixture, knowing fiomething of Satan's devices.
They received us in the name of difciples. We
had divers religious opportunities with them, and
parted under the precious fenfe cf divine love and
life. We paid a vifit to a merchant's wife, a woman
of amiable character, who through religious con-
cern, has got into a defpairing condition. It was
attended with great fiatisfaction to ourfelves, from
the fweetnefs which attended our own minds in her
company, and in that of her hufband's, who feems
bending under the affection, and likely to profit by
it. She often exprelled an earneft wife, that, fee
had feen us at a time when fuch a vifit might have
been blelTed to her ; but laid, that now it was too
late for any thing that was good to be offered to
her. This was, however, very far from our fenfe.
' Now, through the renewal of unutterable mercy,
72$ Til E J. I F E Of
and never failing help, my ibul acknowledges a re-
lict and aniwer of peace (as far as relates to this
ier\ ice) which I am lure my little endeavours, and
compelled dedication are unworthy of. We have
had many discouragements lincc we came to the
continent, and many baptifms into death : we have
alio partaken largely of providential care, and been
favoured, from time to time, when resignation
attained to, with that direction whole effeel have
uften proved its rectitude, and Strengthened our
faith ; and my foul, at times, has been put into the
opacity of lying down as bciide the ftill waters.
.Some of the laft openings, or fenfe of duty, have
been the moft trying and in the crofs; but bein J
yielded to, and the work performed, a comfortable
retreat hath been clearly and fweetly founded from
this large field of arduous labour; and at a time,
when an opennefs amongSt the people was manifeftly
encrcafing. This I efteem an inexprefTible favour,
and fuch a one as they only can be fenlible of, who
have gone under the weight of fimilar mountains,
and been involved in the fear of beirn' milled.
At Mulhcim, fhc drew up and Signed a letter to
Leopold the Second, King of Hungary, &c. fince
/>cror of Germany, in which her companions
i For fome time before her arrival at this
her mind had been very weightily cxcrcilcd
u ith the important fubjects cxprefled in this letter; in-
i uch that, at one period, the was under an ap-
. enfion that it would be required of her to po
SARAH G R U B B, 22?
in perfon, and relieve her mind to the king. But
from this very trying iervice, ihe felt herfelf com-
fortably releaied, and the mode of addreffing him
by letter, was fatisfaclorily fubftituteJ. The addrefs
was intrufted to the care of a reputable merchant of
Cologne, who engaged to forward it without delay.
The following is a copy of it.
To Leopold the Second, King of Hungary 9
Bohemia, &c. &c.
Amongft the numerous congratulations awaiting
thy acceffion to the imperial crown, accept, O
King ! our chriftian good willies and folicitude for
thy prelent and eternal well-being. We are con-
fclous that we have no claim to the liberty of ad-
dreffing thee, but from a belief that the Lord
Almighty, who ruleth in the kingdoms of men,
and giveth them to whomfoever he will, hath in-
clined us to leave our habitations to vifit fome
parts of this country, and now engages us, in gof-
pel love, to exprefs our fecret and united prayer,
that thou mayffc be a» instrument in his holy hand,
for the advancement of that glorious day, fpoken
of by the prophet, ¥ when fwords fhall be beaten
into plow fhares, and fpears into pruning hooks,
when nation fhall not lift up fword againft nation \
neither fhall they learn war any more." The great
defign of our univerfal Parent, in fending his be-
loved Son a light into the world, is for his own
glory in the falvation of mankind ; and for this gra-
cious end, he hath given to all men a meafure of
his own eternal fpirit. To co-operate with Him
herein, dignifies human nature, and is particularly
23 ^ Tii k L I Y E o r
d i the moft fcrupuloa : n of princes.
The fmalieft r relation of this heavenly gift in the
believing foul, having a degree of omnipotence in
it, brings into fnbjedlion the natural will and wif-
d <m of man, and difcovers to us the noble purpofes
of our creation ; it diffufes that true benevolence
which characterizes genuine chrifrianitv, and renders
dear to n prince, the happinefs of all, even the
meaneft of his fubiccis ; imprinting upon his mind
the fuperior value of an immortal foul, to all world-
ly acquiiitions. Through the neglect of a principle fo
pure and important, how hath the rational part of
God's creation been facrificed to the irregular paf-
lions of fovereigns ; and many unprepared fouls
precipitated into an awful futurity ! That the gofpel
dii pen fat ion is intended to remedy theft evils, and
promote the government of the Prince of Peace ;
that the Gentiles are to come to its light, and
kings to the brightnefs of its arifing, are truths
to which the facred records abundantly teftifv.
May this be thy happy experience, O lung ! thai
fo the power thou art providentially intrufted with,
being fubfervient to divine wifdom, thy example
may influence the minds of other princes, who alfo
beholding its excellency, may unite in encourag'
their iuhjedts to de< lin< , in mutual charity and for-
bearance, 1 r is contrary to the purity and
fimplicity of the religion of Jefus. And may'ft
thou be enriched with all fptritual bid tj that
theie added to thy tem po ral ones, may not only
perfect thy happineis, hut perpetuate it beyond the
narrow limits vt time, and qualify thee, acceptably,
SARAH G R U B B. 231
to caft down thy crown at the feet of Him who is
King of kings, and Lord of lords, who lives and
reigns for ever and ever.
George and Sarah Dillwyn, of "\ Members cf t-Le
t\ ,, T p. xt i i religious fociety
bnrhngton, New Jeriey, Aorth j of friends m
America. f th ° fe c °™ fri ^
I and Grer.t Bri-
tain, commonly-
Jofhua Beale, Cork, JT """" J ^ ^
Mulheim on the Rhine,
55th of 9th month called Sept. 1 790.
A fhort time before her return home, on a review
of fome parts of this journey, ihe wrote as fol-
lows-
In many places, we found a people who were dis-
contented and weary with the mere profeffion of
chriftianity, and the deadnefs of thofe forms and
ceremonies with which it is encumbered ; and who
were convinced of the fufficiency of the heavenly
principle. Thefe, having been mercifully vifited
with a lively fenfe of the fpirituality of true religion,
received us in the name of difciples, and rejoiced in
being directed to the chriftian's reft. This true
fabbath, was, however, imperfectly underftoocl
by many of them, for want of ceafmg, when they
met together in little companies, from all activity of
their own, and depending fingly on the quickening
virtue of truth, to qualify them for, and lead them
into, fuch fervices as are moft acceptable, and molt
confiftent with the duty of true, fpiritual be-
lievers. Some of this people appeared to be fo
:; The LIFE of
m this great point, n to difcorer ' te*
knowledge it ; but their a y then -
to, . rove th< h
l met with. W« d,
tv\ : Joubt, a choice
he: • . and in other parts of the
Co. , who ng to the tr
fheepfbld; but, at prefent, . i.kc the d -
ciples, ted in n\ inner chamber for fear of the
lews. Our vifit to this people, though attended
with a degree of ltrJering, h. active of
(olid peace.
r mind being thus comfortably released from
this held of labour, lhe proceeded from Mulheim to
Clevts, and from thence, through Flanders, to
Dunkirk, and arrived at London the : - ih of 10th
month i ' :.d feeling a dciirc to \iiit her relati-
ons at YorK, eve. before her return home, lhe went
pretty dirtay for ti.-t city; where lhe ltaid a few
day?, \try much to the comfort and 1 .an of
htr r-. . and friends there. At this time, lhe
laboured undcx evident indilpcfition of body-, but
the fwcetneis of her fpirit, and the c! : . . of
meeting again her b elo ved connections, with the
profpect of foon returning to thofe nt Clonmel, fup-
ported her in a grc-t meafure above it, and en-
couraged her to let forward and proceed towards
home ; which lhe did by way of Ackworth, Shef-
field, Manchcfter, 8cc At thefe places, fhe was
again refrelhed by the company of divers near and
dear friends: it appeared, indeed, by thus ener
pafling, in this ihort vifit, fo many of her beloved
SARAH G R U B B. 233
connexions, that, as the time of her fojourninghere
was foon to clofe, ihe was enabled and permitted to
wind np the labours of her day, with the mutual
confolation of feeing again many of thofe with whom
ihe was clofely united, and bidding them a final
farewell in mutability. At Ackworth, fhe fpent the
night with a near and beloved relative, to whom, in
much brokennefs of fpirit, fhe thus expreffed her-
felf : Oh ! my dear, I think fometimes that I fhall
foon be gone ; it feems, as if my day's work was
nearly done, and on looking towards home, as if I
might not be long there."
She reached Dublin in time for the half vear's
meeting, and in the felecl meeting there, gave an
account of her late journey, with great meeknefs
and humility of fpirit ; afcribing nothing to the
creature, but rendering to the Lord the praife of His
own works. From hence, fhe proceeded directly for
Clonmel, (having account of the fmall pox being in
the family) where fhe was favoured to arrive the
1 2th of the nth month, much relieved from a fe-
vere cough which had lately attended her, though
greatly exhaufted in her ftrength and fpirits. On
her w r ay from Dublin, fhe writes thus to a friend :
To be ftrengthened rightly to fill up our appoint-
ed meafure of lufFerings for the body's fake, whe-
ther at home or abroad, is a mark of divine favour,
and will be fucceeded by undefiled reft. — I am now
returning home, under a grateful fenfe of Provi-
dential care, and in peaceful poverty cf fpirit.
The following is extracted from a letter which ihe
wrote at Clonmel, a few davs after her return.
2M The LIFE 01
I can now once more falute you from home, in re-
newed and endeared adccTon, and gratefully ac-
knowledge the multiplied prcfervations of our never-
failing Helper, in thus far bringing through a varie-
ty of (.xerciles, from which the natural mind cannot
relieve itfelf. I reflect with folid fatisfac'tion upon
my vitit at York, &c. and am glad I paid it, thou
I feel myfelf a poor worn-out creature. The 24th
of the 11th month ihe fet off from Clonmel to at-
tend then- quarterly meeting at Cork ; previous to
which fhe wrote the following letter to a friend :
My prefent affliction hath gained great afeendency
over my mind, fo that I feem faft loiing my hold,
and fenle of Him that is invifible •, and remembering
fume paft exercife, when I was in danger of lofing
the beft life, I am ready to fay, with mournful Jere-
miah, " caufe me not to return to Jonathan's houfe,
left I die there." I know that nothing hath yet oc-
curred, which needs to fc Iter a well regulated mind
from the fource of good ; but I am left to fuch a
fenfe of my own wretched nils, t)i3t even the grafs-
hoppcr or things comparable to it, are become a
burden. To attend a quarterly meeting under fuch
impreffions, is a profpeel: which I need not defcribe ;
but I fear to make a prey of thy fympathctic mind.
May I be preferved from a murmuring difpofition,
by which the holy Spirit is grieved !
At the quarterly meeting, fhe delivered, in an
humble account of her late miffion, appeared in di-
v.-rs acceptable teilimonies, and ;>t the dofc of the
meeting was taken ill. This laft c- of nature,
which was at ti. continued about ten
SARAH G R U B B. 235
days, when it pleafed infinite wifdom to remove her
from the toib and troubles of mortality, to a manfion.
of everlafting reft, on the 8th of the 12th month 1790
and on the 1 2th, her remains were attended to the bu-
rying-ground, by many friends. It was a folemn, me-
morable time *, and living testimonies were there borne
to the fufficiency of that power, (which had fo emi-
nently qualified her, for his fervice,) to ralfe up anxl
abilitate others to follow her footfteps. During her
illnefs, which was at the houffe of her beloved friends
Samuel and Sarah Neale, fhe dropped a few expref-
fions, worthy of prefervation, which have been col-
lected, and are as follow : In a meflage to a young
woman who prefided in the fchool at Clonmel, fhe
faid j Salute her very affectionately. I defire the
fympathy of her fpirit, and that fhe may be endued
with additional qualifications to bear her own, and
«ur joint trials, under thefe complicated circum-
fiances. Tell her, 1 have been much favoured with
quietnefs of mind from the firft, though a ftranger
to how the prefent afflictions or trials may termi-
nate j but the grain of faith and hope which is mer-
cifully vouchfafed, I efteem preferable to all know-
ledge. She further faid ; give my clear love to all our
young women j I hope that each will be preferved in
their relpective lines of duty. I know their tender-
nefs for me, but would be forry they fhould let
down their fpirits too low 5 for 1 believe that truth
would rather increafe, than leflen our ftrength, at
fuch times as thefe. The children are all affection-
ately remembered by me : I hope they will each en-
deavour to lighten the general burden, by their fobri-
236 The LIFE bf »
cty, and doing that which they know to be right.
I am trying to get my mind to a fettlement, that all
tilings work together for good •, but it is hard to get
at it. She feveral times laid : " I mutt go. You
mult let me go." And nearly the Lift words flic
fpoke were, repeating that paiTage of fcripture,
" my peace I give unto you."
Four davs before her deceafe, flic dictated the fol-
lowing weighty, inftructive letter, to a particular
friend. Thy falutation met me, though apparently
out of courfe, in the right time ; being under im-
preflions, which make time and circumftances
of little account, compared with the unlimited
confolations of the Spirit, or a preparation to re-
ceive them at the Divine Hand. My foul, though
encompavled with the manifold infirmities of a ve-
ry afflicted tabernacle, can feelingly worfhip, and
rejoice in nothing more than this, that the Lamb
immaculate is ftill redeeming, by his precious blood,
out of every nation, kindred, tongue, and people ;
and making a glorious addition to the church tri-
umphant, whofe names will ftand eternally recorded
in the book of life. I cxprefs not thefe things from
a redundancy of heavenly virtue, but from the fcul-
fuftaining evidence, that, amidft all our weaknefs
and conflicts of flcfh or fpirit, an intereft is merciful-
ly granted in Him, who giveth victory over death,
hell, and the grave.
Thus hath the fetting fun of this humble
follower of the Lamb, gone down in brightnd ;
and though ihe hath been called away as in
younger life, (being only in the 35 th year
SARAH G R U B B. 237
"of her age) yet her day's work appears to have
been compleat, and, Avith refpect to herfclf, every
meafure worth living for, filled up. Honourable
age is not that which ftandeth in length of
time, or that which is meafured by number of
years ; but wifdom is the grey hair to man, and
an unfpotted life is old age. May we who re-
main behind, whilft we deplore the church's lofs
in the removal of fo ufeful and dignified a fer-
vant, be encouraged to imitate her example, and
to furrender ourfelves in faithfulnefs and dedica-
tion to all the Lord's requirings : that fo, when
the refidue of our days is accomplifhed, we alfo
may be favoured to receive that bleffed declara-
tion ; " well done, good and faithful fervant, en-
ter thou into the joy of thy Lord, and into thy
mafter's reft."
2*8 Tn e I. I 1' £ of
j
A Tfi';. ' i m tier monthly Meeting for tit County of
^Tipperaryy concerning Smrck Grubb dcccnfed.
Our minds being deeply affe&ed by the resent
great lofs which the church hath fuftained, in the
r moval of our beloved friend) Sarah Grubb,
daughter of our fri< ids Y, . m Tuke and his late
wife Elizabeth of York, we feci it incumbent on
us to give forth a tcfiimony concerning her ; for .
the memory a I aft is bleffed, fo the remembrance
of this digni nd eminently ufeful member in
the church militant, is precious to many; tJO
. om (he was a nurfing mother, railed upj
a thorough fubmiflion to the operation of the divine
hand, to the itature of an elder in the tn;
though, as to years, ihc had fcarcely attained the
meridian of life. She was a woman of extraor-
dinary natural abilities, ftrength of judgment, and
clearnefs of difcernment ; and being favoured with
the vifitation of heavenly love in the morning oi'
her day, and fubmitting to be broughl into that
paffive nothingnefs, wherein the veffels in the
Lord's houfe are formed ind Grt< I for ufeful-
nefs, (he witi I an early preparation for (er-
vice, i ning forth in public minifVry about the
23d year oi her age. After ■ ■■ : '~' n £ fome years
the precious gift committed to her, to the con-
solation ol many, (he joined in marri with cur
frien>l R it Grubb, and \ ; . ifi 1 mani-
fefted the fruit oi entire 1 , by fifiting I
meetings of friend* in Scotland, where her fer
SARAH G R U B B. 239
vice was truly acceptable, and continued in fiich a
line of devotednefs, that in the courfe of about
five years fhe vifited rnoft, or all the meetings in
Great Britain and Ireland. About three years fince,
fhe removed with her hufoand to refide within
the compafs of this monthly meeting ; wherein fhe
was deeply exercifed in fpirit, for the arifing and
fpreading of life, and frequently and earneftly
engaged in exciting her brethren and fifters to
diligent labour after it. In miniftrv, fhe was
found and edifying, not only like the fcribe in-
structed to the kingdom, bringing forth out of
her treafure things new and old, but qualified
by pure wifdom, to bring them forth in the de-
•monftration of the fpirit and with power, in the
authority and becoming gravity of the gofpel, bet-
ing in her delivery an example to all concerned
in bearing a public teftimony for the Lord's caufe.
The view of coming to fettle in this nation,
was accompanied with a fenfe of divine requiring
to eftablifh a fchool, for the education of the
daughters of friends in ufeful learning, fimplici-
ty, and that unaffected piety into which truth
leads its followers ; which fhe was enabled to ac-
complish, we truft, to the lafting advantage of
fome of the riling generation. Soon after her
coming to refide amongft us, fhe, in confequence
of a concern which had for a considerable time
refted on her mind, engaged in a religious vifit
to Holland, fome parts of Germany and the fonth.
of France ; in which fhe was joined l$y feveral
friends, and wherein <ke was eminently gifted for
240 T h b L I F E ot
the fervice to which Che was called ; her miniitry,
private admonitions, and exemplary deportment,
reaching the witnefs in many minds; lb that her
fervent labour, and the iweet favour ot her cx-
ercifed fpirit, we believe is ftill felt, and will be-
long profitably remembered in thole parts. After
her return, (he paid an acceptable vilit to feve-
ral parts of this province, and had meetings where
none of our fociety dwelt, much tending to fpread
the knowledge of the truth. And laftly, under
the prevalence of gofpcl Love, and earneit folicitude
that the fheep not vet of this fold might be
gathered to the teachings of the great Shepherd,
fhe again left her own habitation, and engaged,
with lome of her former companions, in a very
arduous and exercifing vilit, to Dunkirk, Holland,
and fome of the northern parts of Germany ;
wherein, we have real'on to believe, fhe had emi-
nent fervice, to the confirming of many viiited
minds in the faith, and promoting the bit
caule of truth and righteoufnefs •, in which glo-
rious work, her intrepid fpirit ihrunk not from
fufrering : the extending of the government of
her dear Lord and Mailer in the hearts of the
children of men, and the promotion and increafc
of His lpiritual kingdom over fea and land, being
nearer to her than her natural life, or any other
eonfideration, lhe was brought to a willingnefs to
be fpent therein. In her return, lhe attended
national meeting, and in the meeting oi
minifters and elders, giving an account of her
late journey, under the influence of that humility
SARAH G R U B B. 241
which was fo confpicuoufly the covering of her
fpirit, fhe afcribed all to Him, whom fhe knew to
be the Author of every good work, in thefe expref-
fions : " we have done but little, but the Lord is
doing much j" concluding with, " return unto thy
reft, O my foul ! for the Lord hath dealt bounti-
fully with thee ;" as though prophetic of that
everlafting reft, into which fhe was fo near being
gathered : for her bodily ftrength being- confider-
ably impaired, by almoft conftant exercife and
fatigue, it proved unequal to the force of a dif-
f em per, which foon after feized her frame, and,
by a rapid progrefs, terminated thofe afflictions of
which fhe had fo largely filled up her meafure,
for the body's fake, which is the church.
She attended our quarterly meeting at Cork, re-
turned a lively account of her journey, and was accept-
ably exercifed in the meetings there ; after which,
#ie was confined by ficknefs at the houfe of our
dear friend Samuel Neale, near that city, where,
amongft other weighty expreffions, (lie uttered
the following, " I have been much favoured with
quietnefs of mind from the firft, though a ftranger
to how the prefent afflictions or trials may ter-
minate ; but the grain of faith and hope which
is mercifully vouchfafed, I efteem preferable to
all knowledge." In a letter which fhe dictated to
a near friend four days before her deceafe, fhe
faid ; " My foul, though encompaffed with the mani-
fold infirmities of a very afflicted tabernacle, can
feelingly worfhip and rejoice in nothing more than
M
Tut LIFE or
. that the Limb immaculate is ft ill redeeming,
by his precious blood, out of every nation, kindred,
rue and people, and making a glorious addi-
tion to the church triumphant, whole names will
ftand ctcrnallv recorded in the book o{ lire. 1
i
expreis not thefe things from a redundancy of heaven-
ly virtue, but from the foul fuftaining evidence,
that, amidlt all our weaknels and conflicts of flelh
and fpirit, an interelt is mercifully | .in
Him, who giveth victory over death, hell and the
grave." Which, with other corrobi circum-
ftances, clearly evinced, where her hope and de-
lance were, and that her refined fpirit was pre-
pared for its glorious manilon, into which we have
no doubt it was admitted. She departed this
the Bth ot 1 2th month 1790; and after a
folemn meeting b yreviouily held at the meet-
ing houfe, wherein, and at the grave yard, feveral
re borne, her body was inter-
red in friends burying ground, in Cork, the 1 2th of
lame ; aged about .rs.
Her c innocently cheerful, which
d her to t both (exes, and
her much ; them. To her be-
,1 hulbar.d, ll.e was a tr te wife ; to
her ! ftioii ;
. that >h not
her own, and b I b. peace and go will to
forth th< hand of help, lb
her conduct was an uniform
com. h her holy profetTion, and the purity
of thof h lhe fur iieved and
SARAH G R U B B. 243
w?s engaged fo extenfively to publiih. May fhe,
being dead, yet fpeak with a prevailing language
to us all who are left behind ; " follow me as I
followed Chrift 5" that fo we may die the death of
the righteous, and our latter end be like theirs.
Given forth at a monthly meeting for the county
of Tipperary, held at Clonmel by adjournment,
the 13th day of the 2d month 1 79 1.
Signed in and on behalf thereof, by many
friends.
The annexed teftimony concerning our beloved
friend, Sarah Grubb, has been read in our quar-
terly men's and women's meeting for Munfter Pro-
vince, held in Cork the 21ft of the 2d month
1 791, with which we have near unity.
Signed on behalf of our men's meeting by
Richard Abell, Clerk.
And on behalf of our women's meeting by
Margaret Grubb, Clerk.
Read, and approved, in our half years' meeting
for Ireland, held in Dublin, from the ift of the
5th month 1 79 1, to the 5th of the fame inclufive,
and on behalf thereof figned by
John Davis, Clerk to the meeting this time.
A Tejlimony of York quarterly Meeting concerning Sa-
rah Grubb, late Wife of our Friend Robert Grubb, cf
Clonmel, in Ireland.
This our valuable friend, having been a member
of this meeting 'till within the four laft years of her
(life, and the remembrance of her being precious
M 2
2^4 The LI F E o i
to many of us, we feel our minds engaged to unite
in a fhort teftimony concerning her, with defires
that many, from her pious and excellent example,
may be furred up, according to their different mca-
fures, to follow her, as flie followed Chrift.
She was born in the city of York, in the year
1756, and was favoured with a guarded and religi-
ous education, which, with the divine bleffing upon
it, preferred her from many dangers and follies to
which youth are often expofed, and prepared hi r
heart for that open reception of the truth, and en-
tire furrender to its dictates, which remarkably dif-
tiii d her through the more advanced periods
of life. But though fhe w;is early under the violati-
ons of divine love, yet being of a quit k and lively
difpolition, joined to great natural abilities, lhe
found it hard work to fubmit to the lowlinefa and
fimplicity of the crofs of Chrifl 5 and endured many
fore conflicts before fhe furrendered her will to the
government of the Prince of Peace. "Whilft under
the Lord's preparing hand for the work <>. L the mi-
1 try, lhe experiei iny deep baptifras of fpi-
iit •, but He who knew ber Gncerity, and carneft de-
fires for His holy help and direction, gracioufly de-
tained Iter in this proi t, and in due time
brought forth living offerii , to Hi - nd
th Fort of many minds. In the exercife of her
miniftry. (he wa careful not to move in her own
time and will, nor to exceed her gift 3 but to be at-
■ to the arilli: ce of life, with
patient refignation and dedication of hearts
]! , 1 gratitude to the Father of mercies,
an J her fei ■ for the profperity of his
SARAH G R U B B. 245
caufe on earth, made her unwearied in her labours to
promote it, and to be willing to fpend and be fpent
for his great Name's fake. She was an example of
true humility and abafednefs of felf, feeling that all
her fprihgs were in the Lord, and that though the
creature may at feafons be honoured, yet every good
and perfect gift came from above, and called for un-
feigned acknowledgement. To the neceffity and pow-
erful efficacy of the pure principle of light and grace
in the foul, fhe bore many living testimonies, and re-
commended, above all things, the clofeft attention and
obedience to its holy manifestations, as that alone
which can preferve from the fpots of the world, re-
deem the mind from its fpirit and enjoyments, and
confer that peace which the world can neither give
nor take away. She beheld and mourned over the
breaches and wade places of Zion, and we believe
laboured honeftly, according to the ftrength receiv-
ed, for the repairing thereof, and the reftoration of
ancient beauty and fimplicity. Her fuperior abili-
ties, fanctified by the humbling operations of the
holy fpirit, qualified her for extenfive fervice in the
administration of the difcipline of the church-, where-
in fhe was concerned to act, under a degree of that
covering, which ought to influence every religious
movement. Of a folid and weighty fpirit, fhe was
engaged to dig deeply for the hidden treafure, and
laboured to dwell near the fpring of divine life : yet
infinite wifdom faw meet to naffer her at feafons to
experience great inward poverty : but under thefe
proving difpenfations, fhe murmured not, being
refigned to the will of her Lord and Malter, and
M 3
2 t 6 The L I F E of, &c.
made willing "• to fuffer with him, that {he might
alfo reign with him." And having partaken of the
fufierings and confolations of the gofpel, fhe knew
how to fympathize with the exercifed and mourning
fpirit, dealing her bread, when qualified, to the
hungry foul, and pouring in the wine and oil to the
help and refreshment of many. And as this devoted
faithful fervant of the Lord, was thus inftrumentaJ in
glorifying His name amongit mankind, and promot-
ing the divine government in their hearts, fo fhe be-
came more and more refined, and redeemed from
all viilble enjoyments ; 'till, in unfearchable wifdom,
He who put her forth and went before her, was
pkafed to " cut fhort the work in righteoufnefs,"
and to remove her, we doubt not, from His church
militant on earth, to his church triumphant in hea-
ven.
Read, approved, and fignecl, in, by order, and
on behalf of our quarterly meeting held in York, by
adjournments, on the 30th and 31ft of the 3d month
1 79 1 by
Mordecai Casson, Clerk to the meeting this time.
Elizabeth Tukf, Clerk this time.
APPENDIX:
CONTAINING
A N
A
C C O TJ N T
O F
ACKWORTH SCHOOL,
OBSERVATIONS
O N
CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE^
A ND VALUABLE
EXTRACTS
FROM MANY OF HER
LETTERS.
M 4
r .V - M' .l » « a g3t»BEgggWBWBg3nrSB
SOME
ACCOUNT
O F
ACKWORTH SCHOOL,
7
ADDRESSED TO A
FRIEND in AMERICA.
Bear Friend,
^nr^HE fallowing imperfect account of Ackworth
fchool is prefented to thee, in confidence
that thou wilt not expofe it, and yet with a hope
that it may privately aid thy endeavours to efta-
blifh a lchool, for the religious education of youth,
in another part of the world ; an engagement
worthy of thyfelf, but requiring fomething better
to render it truly fuccefsful.
M S
150 ACCOUNT oj-
As religious concerns cannot-, any more than
thofc uf a ci\il nature, be rightly carried forward
without order and method, it becomes a very im-
portant inquiry, what rules and adjuflments of things
pertaining thereto, are confident with the fpiritu-
ality of their origin, and when thefe are found,
they call for great care in officers and their fuper-
intendents, to keep them in their proper pines,
left that which is begun in the fpirit, Ihould be
fought to be made perfect in the flefh.
There is a moral rectitude, fabricated in human
wifdom, which is beautiful to the natural -
leizes on the paflions, ami draws from a fuperfii ial
judgment, an inconfiderate approbation of what,
perhaps, when it is fcrutinized into, has I'prung
irom a love of popular applaufe, and tends to fet-
tle thofe who are active in it, in a reft and en-
joyment of the work of their own hands.
To know the firft fpring of action, is a noble
attainment-, and if it prove pure, tben carefully to
keep it fo, is a work (thou well knoweft) of far
greater magnitude •, and which will tend more to the
regulation of a fchool, than a fine-fpun fyftem of
pofitive rules, untinctured with faith in the fufii-
ciency of divine aid, immediately communicated.
To obtain a right form is furely of abfolute
neceflity, becaufe regularity is one of the wheels
whereby the intended work is to be effected ; and
\ ips fume uleful order may be gathered from
the following pages, which I hope will not be im-
plicitly adopted, [ndeed, I have been thoughtful]
in the comic of my penning them, whether iu'.U
A CK WORTH SCHOOL. 2s 1
as are rightly influenced to promote an education
confiftent with our holy profeffion, would not be
better furnifhed with qualifications to fettle even
civil concerns, without a model of the experience
of others ; feeing that the fountain of divine wif-
dom is inexhauftible ; that for the conducting of
temporal things, there can be no order like that
which immediately flows from it ; and that a ve-
ry fmall digrefllon of our attention from this
fource, is often fucceeded by many erroneous
fteps.
To thy prudence, therefore, I commit this lit-
tle work, believing thou wilt not ufe it impro-
perly. If it afford thee any ufeful reflections, in
times of relaxation from the weight of gofpel fer-
vice, be the means of opening for me a door of
accefs into thy clofet, make me a partaker of thy
treafure, and fometimes revive me in thy remem-
brance for good, I fhall be fully fatisfied. One
obfervation further occurs to my mind, for which,
as this is all a piece of freedom, I fhall not
apologize. As nothing can be faid to be truly
religious, (whatever the firft defign may be,) but
what is religioufly conducted, a very fpecial care
ought to be maintained to the pointings of truth,
in choofing inftructors and fervants for a fchool ;
who fhould be more directed to the fchool of
Chriit themfelves, than loaded with injunctions
about trivial matters, and their conformity to them
confidered as their qualifications. No law or rule
ought to be fo framed, as to interfere with their
religious duties j and when any make a wrong ufe
■2-z A C C O U N T oi.
of the liberty truth allows, great care fhould be
cxercifed, left alterations take place, which have a
tendi :o circumfcribe the righteous with the
>reilbr ; fur where this is the cafe, people of
an outward, fteady conduct, a cringing temper, and
who know but little about revealed religion, feem
to be molt adapted to iuch an institution. Thefe
may, to the utmoft of their natural abilities, pre-
serve order, and prefer the works which molt re-
commend them to thofe in fuperior power, being
as earneft in their endeavours, as any, to promote
the eftablifhment of civil authority, and of a great
many fpecious forms : but the vitals of the bufti-
tution being oppreffed, and the fpirit and life of
every act of duty to the children, and of chn:
diiciplinc amongft them, difregarded, the whole
body muff gradually grow difeafed and corrupted.
liducation is a Subject fo copious, when un-
folded to the inward attention of thole to whom
the carr of children is ri^htlv committed, as to
rt ■ ; Tire a better affifted pen than mine, to do it
juftice ; but this I believe, that Simplicity, godly
iinccrity, and a righteous zeal and tendernefs,
with an improving and imparting knowledge of
ufeful things, can hardly fail of rendering a per-
is under a fecret i'enfe of duty, qualified
to undertake it.
To be fenfible of the divine influenc?, to pro-
| the knowledge of it, and fo to prefer it
to all other confederations, as to walk worthy of
its WeflSng being fhed upon our endeavours, is the
, of our profeffion. That
ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 25,3
" the blefilng of heaven above, and of the deep
that lieth under," may reft upon thee, dear friend !
crown all thy labours, fweeten all thy bitter cups,
and render invincible the habitation of thy fpirit,
when ftorms may affail it, and difcouragements
wait at the threfhold of its door, is the prefent
fervent breathing of thy truly affectionate friend,
Sarah Grubb.
Fofton, i ft month 5th 1786.
SECT. I.
Ackworth fchool is an inftitution Intended for
the religious education of children, members of
our fociety, between the age of nine * and four-
teen, and particularly of thofe whofe parents are
not in affluent circumftances. It admits of three
hundred, viz. one hundred and eighty boys, and one
hundred and twenty girls. They are paid for, at their
entrance, by a bill of admittance of eight guineas va-
lue •, for which they are provided with board, learn-
ing, clothing, and other neceffaries, for one year;
four millings and four pence are alfo then depofited*
as an allowance of one penny per week for pocket
money. This fchool is under the immediate care
of two committees, in each of which there are
twenty-eight members ; one is constituted of
friends of London, and held there; the other of
friends in the neighbourhood of Ackworth ; divers
* The prefent limitation of age is between eight
and fourteen.
254 ACCOUNT of
of whom arc twenty, thirty, and fome forty miles
diftant from the place.
Each committee meets once a month ; when the
general ftate of the inftitution is conildercd, par-
ticular regulations propofed, complaints received,
the intended refignation of fervices reported, and
• I ads appointed to enquire for a fupply of af-
iiUants, &c. &c.
As it often happens that divers friends are at
Ackworth the niidit before the fitting of the com-
mittee, or early in the morning, three of them
infpeel all bills of parcels, and the treafurer's ac-
counts •, and report to the committee the ftate
thereof, the number of the children admitted and
returned fince laft month, and thofe that are up-
on the lift for admittance : others examine the im-
provement of fuch as are likely to depart the en-
fuing month ; and, generally, religious opportuni-
ties are taken with them, and an account given
thereof to the committee. Copies of the minutes
of each committee are tranfmitted to one another,
and neither of them conclude upon any thing new,
of importance, without mutual approbation. Seve-
ral friends, once a year, give up to an appoint-
ment to fpend fome time in the houfe, in order
to value the ftock, to fettle all accounts, and to
take a more general and minute furvey of the
ftate of the family, than could be done at any
other time with fo mnch propriety: and generally,
on vihts to the family, at other times, the com-
pany of women friends has been defired, a num-
ber having their names down on the committee's
A CK WORTH SCHOOL. 255
books for fuch fervices. Agents are appointed
in each county, who undertake to negociate the
bufinefs between thofe who fend the children,
and the inftitution, by providing bills of admit-
tance and certificates, and giving notice of their
readinefs, &c.
A general meeting is held at Ackworth once
a year, conftituted of friends appointed to attend
it from the feveral quarterly meetings. Here the
ftate of the inftitution is intended to be laid
open ; all fubjecls of doubt, and efpecially fuch as
the two committees could not agree upon, to be
refered for candid difcuffion and determination,
and new regulations or lules eftablifhed.
A large number of friends from diftant parts,
is appointed to mfpect the children's advances in
learning, &c. and to obtain a knowledge of their
teachers' abilities, a free and honeft reprefentation
whereof is thought abfolutely necefTary. This ge-
neral meeting adjourns to a fuitable time in the
yearly meeting week, when their minutes are read,
and a report made from thence to the yearly
meeting at large.
N. B. The infpe&ion of the female fide of the
houfe is committed to the women friends, afTem-
bled at the general meeting at Ackworth ; who
appoint different committees to examine the dif-
ferent departments, have free conferences with the
officers, infpecl: the girls" improvements, take re-
ligious opportunities with them, and report the
fubflance of their obfervations, and the propriety
of fuch amendments as occur to them thereupon j
256 A C C O U N T of
after which, minutes arc formed, and a copy of
them lent into the men/ meeting.
SEC T. II.
There are Rationed in the family, a trcafurcr and
his wife, to whom is committed the fuperintendence
of the whole *.
The boys have generally four or five matters,
whofe falaries are from 25 to iool|. per annum, in-
tended as proportionate to their fervices, and abili-
ties ; and there are alio fome apprentices. The
her of the ichools is four, and the mafters keep
much to the diftinc"t branches of learning for which
thev arc beft qualified ; as one, reading, another
writing, a third arithmetic, &c. and the children
pafs in claffes from fchool to fchool, except the lit-
tle ones, who are principally kept under the care of
one mafter.
The apartments for teaching are fo commodious
as to render all crowding unneccflary, especially at
writing; the deiks, though in one continued length,
have neverthelefs fiich divisions, by openings for
each boy's books, &C. that there need not be any
interference, if they keep their places.
Ten or twelve of the eldeft ami moft folid boys,
are chofen monitors, who lend i'ome afiifiance in the
Thcfc fervc the institution without a falary, which
greatly adds to their authoril
1 .is the (alary of the principal maflcr ; but
this office being discontinued, no fidary is now lb h
ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 257
fchools, particularly in fettling the children to their
places, and taking care that each has his own.
About ten minutes before every meal, a bell is
run<r, at which the children are quickly collected in
ranks, either on the open ground, or under a colon-
nade which fhelters from wet and heat. The maf-
ters ftand in the front in their own divifions, whilft
the monitors furvey them behind and before, taking
care that their buckles are in order, their hair comb-
ed, and if any be dirty, to fend them to walh.
Here the maflers have a frequent opportunity of
making ufeful obfervations, giving general directions,
administering counfel, and felecling out offenders
for the table of difgrace j which is no otherwife dil-
tinguifhed, than by being detached from the reft,
and having no cloth upon it.
When the fecond bell rings for meals, they ad-
vance in couples with great regularity to the din-
ing-room, (the leaft going firft) and divide at the
foot of the table, one going up on one fide, and the
other on the other j by which means they are feated
with dexterity and expedition.
A general filence immediately enfues, which, by
an intimation from one of the maflers, is foon broke,
and all begin their meal ; but no converfation loud-
er than a whifper is allowed, during the time of eat-
ing, and no more in that manner than is necefTary
for transfering their victuals from one to another,
when fome have too much, and others too little^
ihe latter of which are freely lupplied by the mafters,
if they afk
258 ACCOUNT 01
When all appetites appear fatisficd, and a meal
is ended, filence again takes place, after which,
with an intimation of quietude, and fedatenefs,
they are beckoned to depart. They unite again
in couples at the foot of the table where they
parted, and walk fteadily out of the room into the
places appointed for play, where they difperfe. It is
thought necefTary, that one of the mafters fhould be-
ftow a general overfight on them in thefe times of re-
laxation, with no more interference than is absolute-
ly neceflnry.
SECT. III.
The fame order is obferved amongft the girls, as
with the boys, at fchool and meals ; they have fel-
dom lels than four miftrcflcr., wh nf<- filaries are
from 12 to 25I. per annum ; thefe teach fewing, knit-
ting, fpinning flax, reading, and the Engliih gram-
mar. Writing and arithmetic are alfo taught by one
of the mafters, who is particularly fct at liberty, part
of every day, for that purpofe, and has a certain
divifion of girls each time; but the committees are
defirous, that fomc of the female teachers fhould be
qualified to inftruct in thefe branches of learning *.
A wife attention is paid in the girls fchools to qui-
etude and regularity ; each is to know her own bufinefs,
and the time for applying for inftrudtion about her
work, &c. There arc two or three apprentices for
* Thefe branches are now taught by female inflruc-
tors.
A CK WORTH SCHOOL 259
whom there is a considerable fphere of action, in afiift-
ing the miftrefTes, as there are many more articles
of care amongft the girls than the boys ; fuch as large
ftocks of goods to be made up into wearing apparel,
cutting up work, teaching various branches.of the exe-
cutive part, and dealing out haberdafheries to the
children. A difcreet allotment of care and employ
to thefe, preferves the miftrefTes from too opprefiive
a load of anxiety about fmaller matters, and gives
them an opportunity, in their refpective fchools, to
cherifh a neceffary recollection of mind, enabling
them more fenfibly to partake of a meafure of divine
ftrength, by which alone they can govern with right
authority and tendernefs. They have alfo monitors,
who have Similar offices to the boys. The reading
miftrefs has feldom more than one clafs in her fchool
at a time, which confifts of fix or eight, and they
read paragraph by paragraph, all ftanding fo remote
from her, as to render a proper exertion of their
voices necefTary, by which they are inured to read
audibly. The miftrefs or affiftant teacher, to whom
is committed the care of fpinning, attends to that
employ only a few hours each day ; the reft of her
time being taken up with mending the children's
linen, efpecially that of the little ones, and inftrucl:-
ing five or fix girls at a time in that art, having them,
and that kind of work, in a room wholly fet at liber-
ty for the purpofe. The eldeft girls take it in turns,
one or two at a time, to affift the mantua-maker,
who is fupplied with plenty of work. They alfo
take it in turns to work with the laundrefs every
week, in warning, and getting up fmall linen, and
ACCOUNT of
In waiting at meal-times at the houfe-keeper's tabic ;
ami one in turn is under the peculiar direction oi
the trcalurcr's wife, who keeps her pretty much
to her tiwu parlour, and employed in her w<
Two of the girls are weekly appointed to fweep
the lodging rooms every day, and all the girls make
their own beds, (as they llcep in couples,) w]
arc curled hair mattreffes laid upon rails; they have
n boltur, an under blanket, a pair of Qieets, two
upper blankets, and a counterpane of Gngle furniture
check, but no curtains. A cheft with partitions
flands at the head of every bed, and furnifhes two
girls with conveniences for the keeping of their
clothes, having two drawers at the bottom for tl
fmall linen.
Their apparel in general, and efpecially fuch as
partes through the wafhings, is marked with the
initials ot their names, and the number of their bill
of admittance.
The girls .u-e provided with work by the inftituti-
on, and for their improvement, finer needle-work is
taken in for hire than the family can furnifh them
with ; and when tli.it falls fliort, child-bed linen ts
fometimes made to (ell, in which ruperfluous work is
guarded againft.
The girls and boys go to bed in the fame order ;
and all their clothing is fo folded up, and laid upon
their chefts, thai I h there are twenty or thirty
beds in a room, yet after they . in bed,
then irticle of of its pro-
per place, and confequently no interference in put-
ting them on. The lodging rooms have feveral
A CK WORTH SCHOOL 261
ventilators in the ceiling. One or more of the mif-
treffes, or fteady apprentices, fleep in each, and a
healthy cheerfulnefs and decorum are preferved
through the whole.
SECT. IV.
At meeting the boys and girls enter in the fame
method, the boys firft, a mafter leading the way ;
the leaft children immediately follow, and are feated
on the uppermofr. crofs forms, the reft regularly fuc-
ceeding according to their height ; and coming in by
couples, they fill two benches at a time, and very
foon get all fettled. The monitors are placed on a
fide bench, which gives them an opportunity of in-
fpeeting the behaviour of the other children, and of
inftructing them by their example, the mafters and
miftreffes are placed at little diftances, on a feat one
ftep higher, by which they can overfee the whole.
They depart with no lefs regularity than they come
in, the children joining again in couples ; and in
fuitable weather, they take a circular walk round the
area in the front of the houfe ; after which, they
are advifed to retire to reading, a confiderable li-
brary of friends books being provided, part whereof
is produced on a firft day. — The children every
evening fettle to read, the boys and girls feparate;
and they all, with the family, are collected once a
week for that purpofe, previous to which, they qui-
etly fettle down in filence for a little while, then one
of the mafters reads a chapter, and about fix boys,
and as many girls, read fix or eight rerfes each j af-
262 ACCOUNT of
ter which, they paufe again, till it is judged a fuita-
ble time for the children to withdraw, which they
do, not in couples as on other occafions, but fingly,
going immediately to bed, and at inch a diftance
from each other, as to admit of no converfation hy
the way, the teachers paffing with them in certain di-
villons, preferves the quietude without interruption.
They generally rife at fix in fummer, and feven in
winter, and go to bed at nine in fummer, and eight
in winter. It is a rule that every child, on admit-
tance, (hall have a certificate figned by a medical
perfon, expreffive of his or her being in health, and
having no infectious diforders, or apparent fores ;
and if a child has not had the Cmall-pOX, the parent
or guardian iignilies, whether, if the contagion
fliould break out in the family, they choofe inocula-
tion. Whenever an illnefs of any kind appears, the
fubject is conligncd to a fteady matron in the ftation
of a nurfe, who has convenient apartments for the
reception of fuch ; and an apothecary in the neigh-
bourhood has a falary for attending at ftated periods,
whether he is wanted or not, and as much oftener
as occafion requires ; the drugs are kept in the houie
at the expenee of the inftitution, and the nurfe has
the care of th
N. B. The children's drels, if not lb when they
come, is modelled to a certain Simplicity , which
meets with the general approbation of the mo ft con-
fiftent part of the fociety ; and fuch apparel as is
provided by the inftitution, is of a fubft.mtial, and
rather coarfe texture, but neat in its colour and make,
and a care is exei tiled over it, which preferves it foto
ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 263
the laft. An exact uniform in colour, &c, has not
been adopted.
SECT V.
The houfe-keeper has the general care and com-
mand of the kitchen, the keeping, giving out, and
providing the houfe linen, fhe gives an account
what victuals and ftores are wanted, fees to the pro-
per ufe of them, and delivers an account to the
treafurer of her difburfements, once a month.
There are two chamber-maids, whofe bufinefs it
is to make the boys' and family's beds, to fweep
their lodging rooms and the ftairs, every day except
meeting days, to aflift in getting up linen, mend-
ing fheets, the boys' fhirts and ftockings, and alfo
to help in wafhing and combing the boys. The
nurfe likewife aflifts in mending linen, but nothing
is to interfere with her fervice to difeafed chil-
dren.
Two cooks are found fufficient ; they contrive
their bufinefs fo as to have little hurry at meal times,
and on the evening preceding meeting days, the vic-
tuals are fo prepared for next day, that little more is
neceffary, having in Cummer, cold meat, or fruit-
pies, and in winter, boiled plumb puddings, which
only require one perfon to ftay at home, to keep the
coppers boiling.
They have one fervant whofe bufinefs is principal-
ly wafhing difhes, &c. A fteady, and rather elder-
ly man, is generally kept for renewing the fires,
and jobbing about. There is one dairy-maid, who
A C C O U X T ok
has the care of the milk of upwards of twenty cows,
n ill It s in milking them, and m.ik^s the hutter, Sec.
The Laundrefs's work is only to infpeel and affift in
the warnings. A mill, fbmcthing like the bleachers,
is ufed for la: aths •, it is in .1 building detached
from the houie, and is wrought bv a horfe; the li-
nen is walhed in bags, being firfl forted and foaped ;
two waiher-women are provided for one day, who,
with a man that is kept in the capacity ot~ a carpen-
ter, can, with induftry and the laundrelVs alhitanee,
ompliih all that is fuitable for I e. Theft
wafhings come every week. One man has the care
of baking and bi . in wl ..eluded the chil-
dren's dinner-;, when they have baked meat or p
and a - the bi ead, &c.
. md two men in the i of farmers,
who, with a I irer occafionally, find fufficient
ploy in railing a little grain, taking care ci' the
cattle, in milking, to market about
three miles did . , • bing c< 'its
The treafurer, hi* wife, the houfe-
keeper, v I kers, acept thofe who lur
f.\: mittrelles, nurfe, and mantua-maker, eat
together at the he ter's table; and the other
fen ther in the kitchen,
. are made incumbent I
ever.- fcr . md (hoe-maker,
wl . cottagi adjoin-
ing the hi , i fufficient for their ftp-
port. • and b >ard in the houfe, being
and neceflarj f%* rooms. The
t.i.. : . .. - from a large gar-
A CK WORTH SCHOOL. i6 5
dm on the premifcs, and the care of it committed to
a man in the ftation of gardener, and his aflift-
ants.
N. B. Admitting into the family fuch as are not
in profeffion with friends, is guarded againft.
SECT. VI
Inconveniencies have been found by recommend-
ing perfons with too partial an eye to their pri-
vate intereft, and obtaining for them a comfort-
able afylum ; fo that fome who were not objecti-
onable in their own fpheres, and within the com-
pafs of their own abilities, have obstructed the
right order of the inftitution, and have necetfa-
rily become objects of difapprobation ; being defec-
tive in thofe facu!ties which were peculiarly re-
quisite for the ftations to which they were in-
troduced : whereas fome others, from a fecret ap-
prehenfion of duty, and an upright defire f-.r
the good of the inftitution, have, under difcourage-
ments and much diffidence, before their qualifica-
tions were ripened to public view, been put into
offices ; and yet thefe have in due time, been
wonderfully opened in religious and civil ufeful-
nefs, and have become as pillars in the fupport of
right government in the family. It has been
found expedient, from which great advantages
have arifen to the family, that friends who tra-
vel in truth's fervice, and thofe that come dif-
intereftedly on the bufinefs of the inftitution,
fiiould be freely accommodated in the houfe ; any
N
266 ACCOUNT of
expenfe occasioned thereby, being more than eom-
penfat:jJ by their religious concern and endeavours
for tne profperity of the whole Koufehold. Ne-
vcrthelefs, inconven :nries and unneccfTary expenfe
have evidently arifen by the children's connecti-
ons, and thofe who only come from curiofity,
having free accefs to the accommodations provid-
ed by the inftitution •, and therefore an inn has
been opened in the neighbourhood *, where people
may be agreeably entertained, and enjoy, as if
they were in the houfe, every privilege of fee-
ing the children, obferving the order of the fa-
mily, and attending religious opportunities. As
a library of fuitable books is prodded by the in-
ftitution for the children's uie, and as others of
a very different tendency have nnwifely been fent by
ir connexions, it has been found expedient to
forbid the introduction of any publications but
wl at firft undergo the teacher's infptction.
Divers advantages have arifen by the fchool's not
being limited to the children of friends in ftrait-
ened circumflances ; as thofc who had their out-
rd affairs in good order, hi be expected lb
to have extended their care I their offspring,
as that their example ami the mere ignorant
and left guarded youth, might promote folidity and
good order in the family: and in cafes where tl,
< ire had not been hifliciently c \ti tided, the good
fuch children, not lels than others, appears to be
the object of the fociety's concern: and as their
* As the prcniifcs 1 elong to the inftitution, the com-
mittee has ibmc control on the tenant.
XCKWORTM SCHOOL. 267
parents were not prevented from contributing to
the fupport of the inftitution, fo as amply to al-
low for the additional expenfe above the ftated
fum, and even to exceed it if they thought pro-
per, no reafonable objection could ariie on that
account.
By this means the houfe was more eafily fup-
ported, and that diftinction in the fpirit of the
world, which is the bane of religious fociety, was
in fome degree removed. Thus children intended
to fill different ftations in life, being fet upon an
equality, with which nothing interfered but their
merit or demerit, has proved a great encourage-
ment to friends in low circumftances to fend their
offspring, when they found there was no defign
publicly to mark them as objects of charity ; which,
no doubt, from diffidence in fome, and an un-
wiliingnefs to be denominated poor in others,
would have been generally fo difagreeable, as that
the number of three hundred children could
fcarcely have been found, whofe parents would
have fubmitted to receive a national benefit, if
thereto the badge of poverty had been affixed.
As the poor in civil, much more in religious
fociety, are entitled to neceffary and comfortable
accommodations, and thofe who are in eafy cir-
cumftances, upon the principle of loving our neigh-
bours as ourfelves, have not a right to more,
fuch an education as is fuited to the one, may
not be inconfiftent with the ether, if inftead of
training them for children of tkis world, the cul-
N 2
268 ACCOUNT of
tivation of their minds, as followers of Chrift, be
i ic principal object in view. A friend may, tor
curing the necell'aries of life, be in eafy cir-
cumftances, lupport an honourable appearance
a.nongtt men, and a generous hofpitality towards
friends, being of thole who rather defire to
. than receive; and yet, if out of a large fa-
, he wilhes to fend three or four to ichool,
and thinks it his duty to provide the molt guard-
ed education, it may be quite inconfiftent with
i abilities, and the education he wilhes them
to have, to place them in a more expenfive li-
,.\on than what, upon an average, they colt the
inititution at Ackworth: to prevent fuch a friend
from the benefit of lb generous a defign, is incom-
ible with the avowed concern of the fociety
for the welfare of its youth. Our judgment of
one another's circumfbnees in lile is often cr-
j ... iu , and it hath forrowful'.y appeared, that
many bave been ftrangers to their own; and fome
\ ,.) .,. /it be unkindly judged tor fending their
ro Ackworth ichool, became of the ap-
pearance of affluence, which they unwifely fup-
a time, h ive proved una')' ■ even to
life of keeping them there without
tl, • •! their friends. There have hem
tions in the minds of tome fri l an i>pcn
! children whole parents approved the
p'.i i '>:' education, from a fuppofition that the
;i:d be crowded with fuch as might be
. trell provided for, and that the poor
excluded the benefit and preference they
AC K WORTH SCHOOL.
ought to receive from fuch an institution ; and
alio, that the annual Subscriptions expected from
all the monthly meetings in the nation, would
be too much appropriated to the ufe of thole
who might afford to pay for their children ell -
where ; from whence, difcouragements being thrown
out to friends in eafy circumftances fending their
children, the fchool has much fewer candidates,
and the defign of it not fo fully anfwered. Thefe
objections would be removed, if friends were more
liberal and unconfined in their views, as to num-
bers or ftations in life, and were fo far from ex-
cluding, either the rich or the poor, as to be
concerned for, and feel after, the propriety of ex-
tending their accommodations, and diffufing their
endeavours for the admiSfion of all who offered,
and by opening a door for thofe of ability to pay
Sufficiently for their children, they might alio pro-
vide a means for the relief of fuch as require the
help of others in bearing their burdens, remem-
bring that, " the liberal devifeth liberal things,
and by liberal things fhall they Stand."
Upon the whole, it is evident that all children
ought to be confidered as proper objects of fuch
an inftitution ; for, in general, even the Situation
of the rich, as to their profperity in the truth,
is as much to be compaffionated as the poor ;
being often educated with ideas and impreffions
more repugnant to gofpel Simplicity, -and lefs
inured to the felf-denial of a christian, than the
offspring of Some who labour under difficulties in
N 3
270 A C C O IT N T or, 8cc.
temporal th Wh parents are vi!r cnou< h
to foci difpofed to their children in a iitua-
i, fo favourable lor the growth of virtue, and
fo oppofing the ambitious views, and prefumptuous
endeavours after felf-exaltation, it would he i^rcat-
ly to be lamented, if fuch were excluded from a
feminary, which under the peculiar care of the
fociety, is better infpeaed, regulated, and furnifhed
with religious officers, than private fehools can
often experience. And as, by this inftitution, a
religious education and improvement in ofeful
knowledge, is offered to the acceptance of friends
for their children, upon moderate terms, and .1
place large enough for the prefent prepared, there
is no doubt but that by an indifcriminate mixture
of children belonging to our fociety, divers ad-
vantages to their future fteppings in life may arifc.
There is in one quarterly meeting, a fund for
the affiftance of thofe, whole parents and mont!
meetings may be unequal to bear the expenfes of
their children's education, &c. This fund has
been extensively beneficial ; the intereft is appro-
priated to pay one half the eight Guineas for each
object; and the reft left to be railed either by the
children's connexions, or th< ir monthly meetings.
For the further information of thofe who may
be, in fomc mcafure, ftranpers to this inftitution,
a ftate of the accounts reflecting the fame for the
yc.r 1 - ;i is ful
A Report of the State of Ack-
vvorth School, the 31ft of
the 1 2 th Month, 179 1.
An Inventory of the Eftate and
Effedts belonging to, and of
Debts owing by, this Inftitu-
tion, the ifl of the ift Month,
1792.
3
7
o
6
i6
10
o
o
35
356 16
Total Income this Year - - - - - 4*
Total expended this Year
Increafe in Favour of the InCitution
Balance of Stock the id of the
Month, 1 79 1, - - - - - -
Improvements on the Ellates fine;
were purchafed, eftimated at 1000
Thefollowmgarticles reckoned
in laft year's Inventory are
difcontinued, \i/.
ImprovementsatN. Inn34
Trees in the Garden 40
Cart-houfe, &c. - 90
Walking Mill - - 100
they
o a
397 '.
8712
12
o
£>
Errors in Bills of
Admiffion - 42
9
I) 'in (latin? the coft
Prices of 7, &4i)er
Cent Stocks 4S7
15
♦I
o
o
o
264
735 lf J
o 4*
53°
o o
Balance of prefent Stock, the 3 1
12th Month, I79I1 as per the fol
low ing Inventory - - - -
d.
o
o
10
A Report of the State of ACKWORTH SCHOOL,
the 31ft of the 12th Month, 1791.
The Income and Expenditure this Year have been as
under, viz.
INCOME.
Donations and Legacies, as per Lilt
Annuitants deceafed
Annual Subfcriptions, as per Lilt - -
Bd'.s of Admiflion ; 2^7 with Children"
educated, at 81. 8s. per Annum -
Ditto, Over-time, 66 Weeks, at 5s. per
Week
Intcreft of 3 and 4 per Cent. Annuities
John Fothergill's Annuity, 1 year's dividend 50
Rent of New Inn, and Land, 1 Year
24I
Ditto, of a Cottage and 5 Acres ot
Land, 1 Year ill
Balance of Farm Account - -
16
4
o
o
111
9i
24
7
6 V
205 19 7*
9555 '7 9
EXPENDITURE. £. s. d.
Houfe Expenfes; in Provifions, Coals, &c. 1880 o g~
Clothing for Children - - - - - -831 16 ) :
Salaries and Servants Wages ... - 545 4 10
Intereft paid to Annuitants, at 5 per Cent. 212 1 o
Repairs, including the new-making and'
enlarging of the principal Drain from %■ 124 14 6|
the building --._..
'}
Conveyance of Children at 2d. per Mile,! o
j- a/t-1 J- 130 10 b
exceeding 50 Miles - - - - J J
Stationary - - - - - - . 60194
Furniture, Bedding, Linen, &c. for 1
Wear and Tear ----- J"
Apothecary Account ; Salary, Drugs, &c. 4244
Contingencies - - - - - - 17175
Garden 25 iS
Total expended this Tear - 3971 4
An Inventory of the Estatf and Effects bclo
g to, and oi Dims owing by , this Instituti
the lit of the ill Month, iyys.
Br longing to thj I a .mi n
£>
J.
ThcEftatesat . coft - - 752 11
* Improvements on faid Eftat - - 1000 o
New Office foi the Secretary, built thi ) Q
Your, OQft ------ J *3
Confolid. 4. per Cent. Annuities 5J00I. coil 4328 15
Three Months Intereft due thereon - 550
Confolid. 3 per C^iit. Annuities 200I. coft 14^
Six Months Intereft due thereon 3
John Fothergill'S Ann. \ year's fntereft due 25
New Inn and Land, half War's Rent due 1 2
Cottage and 5 Acres of Land, 3 Quarters due 8
Furniture; Linen, Bedding, t\c. on hand 1' j
j'.iim; Cattle, Hay, Oats, &c. ditto 678
Uoufc Expenfes; Provilions, Coals, ^c. ditto 4 - J
o
o
I 3
Clothing for Children, ditto
Stationary ; Books, Paper, Quills*, &c. ditto
itingencies ; Money lent on leaving"
School, to be leturned - - '
Ditto due for 4 5 Children who have had
the Small Pox - - -
Garden; Dial, I T tLnlil therein
Bills of Admiflion; due for 4, 1 , an<
Forty-Seven Weeks
PrugSj Medicines, &c. on Hand
Materials for R«paiw, ditto
nee in the Treafurer's Hands
-j
312
»5«
47
16
5 1
49
24
107
5
o
o
o
5
4
*9
9
»3
•5
16
5
1 1
■3
■7
'?
'4
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
8
o
91
H
I
4
o
9
1 1
B
8*
l820I 12 $\
■ The Money expended under the Head Repair-,
(v.tii h include Improvements lime the Eilatc was pur-
1 hafed) in the courfe of more than twelve Years, amounts
to near Four Thouland Pounds.
Owing by the Institution. £\ s. d.
Annuities at 5 per Cent, on the Life of \
a Subfcriber and Nominee - - J 4*5° o o
American Committee, due to them - 2679 16 io±
Childrens Account, due to 299 now in")
tlie Houfe, being for Time unexpired J X 357 9 °
Barclays and Tritton, due to them")
when outftanding Drafts are paid \ 4 2 9 3 °
Bills of Admiffion, for 3 § for 1792 - 29 8 o
Balance of Stock in favour of the Infti-1
tution, the ift of the ift Month, 1792 j 25H *7 9
18201 12 3|
A N
ACCOUNT
O F
YORK SCHOOL.
The following account of an injlitution at Fork, written
by Sarah Grubb, was alfo found amongfl her papers ;
«nd as Jhe was one of its fupporters, and it appears to
be connected with the preceding fubjeB, it is judged
proper to introduce it in this place.
A S the fchool at Ackworth did not receive chil-
■*■ \ dren but within certain limitations as to age,
&c. fomething further, by way of appendix, was
found necefTary j viz. a fchool fomewhat fimilar to
Ackworth, which could receive girls of any age
or defcription, whofe parents or guardians inclined
to fubmit them to the rules of the houfe ; where a
fteady religious care might be exercifed, uninfluenc-
ed by any pecuniary considerations, and instructions
afforded in ufeful learning and houfewifery.
One friend having felt her mind under a folid con-
cern for the eftablifhment of fomethir.g of this kind,
imparted it to divers others, as truth opened the
s 7 S ACCOUNT of
way ; and they finding a concurrent engagement,
were willing to unite a little property and attention,
for the opening and carrying of it forward ; in ex-
pectation that others would be concerned to fucceed
them, for its future continuance and fupport.
As an overfight fuperior to what might be expect-
ed from fuch as fhould be placed in the ftation of
miftrefles, appeared to be proper, one friend, (her
hufband uniting therein) offered herfelf to the fer-
vice •, and feveral religious young women of improv-
ing abilities, were engaged to ftep in, for a time,
as teachers, &c. without expectation of any pay or
reward, fave that peace which is the confequence of
difinterefted faithful labour.
A fum was accordingly raifed, a fuitable houfe
provided to accommodate about thirty girls, and
furnifhed in a plain, ufeful manner, at the expenfe
of the proprietors ; except the parlour and a lodging
room, which the fuperintendents were intended
more particularly to occupy, and which are furnifh-
ed at their own expenfe.
They alio pay to the inftitution an ample fuflicien-
cy for their own living in the family.
•Simplicity of manners, and a religious improve-
ment of the minds of youth, were the principal ob-
jects in view of the friends who eftablifhed this
it hool ; and therefore, whatever has a tendency to
obftruct this work, is cautioned againft, and fuch
apparel as the children bring with them, if deemed
inconfiftent with the plainnefs which truth leads into,
is not allowed during their refidence here ; nor fuch
literary publications as unprofitably elate the mind,
YORK SCHOOL. 279
and give a difrelifh for the purity of gofpel truths ;
but a knowledge of »feful hiftory and geography, as
additional branches of learning to thole of reading,
writing, arithmetic, and the Englilh grammar, are
by no means difapproved. And whilft a careful at-
tention is paid to the improvement of the children in
neceiTary needle-work and knitting, all that is
thought merely ornamental, is uniformly difcourag-
ed.
The girls make their own beds, fweep their own
rooms, and take it in turns, by couples for a week,
to wait at the fuperintendents' and girls' tables ; and
fuch as are fet apart for that fervice, are fubjecl: to
be called upon in extraordinary cafes, to aflift in pre-
paring victuals, and other neceiTary employments in
the family.
N. B. Each girl pays at entrance fourteen guineas
for learning, board and wafhing.
SOME
R E* M A R K S
O N
CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE,
AS IT RESPECTS THE
EDUCATION of YOUTH.
THE Author of the Chriftian religion came to
redeem and fave from that fpirit which oppofed
the coming of his kingdom. He has wonderfully
displayed the efficacy of that good, by which evil is
overcome, proving through the whole of his difpen-
fations a coincidence of mercy with juftice. And the
operation of this benign principle appears to be in no
cafe more neceflary and profitable, than in the true
fupport and difcharge of the duties which we owe to
thofe who are placed under our fuperintendence and
care. As there are difpoiitions manifefh in children,
after the knowledge of good and evil is contracted,
28z OBSERVATIONS on
which degrade the mind from that innocency wherein
they were firft created, and which like an evil tree
(if differed to grow,) will produce unwholefome fruit;
fo there is alio in the power of thofe who have right-
ly the care of them, a means wliich may, hy the
concurring operations of truth, be rendered effectual
to the reduction thereof : and as both the difordcr
and the remedy lie deep in the hear,*, they muft be
fought for there, without the love of fuperiority, a
carnal judgment of good and evil, or the influence of
£lf-wffl.
To bring children to a true and profitable fenfe of
their own ftates, and direct them to the fpiritual
warfare in themfelves, is the main end of all religi-
ous labour on their account ; and herein a Tingle eye
ought to be kept to the witnefs of truth in their
minds, for that muft be vifited and raifed, before
they can fo fee, as to repent and convert from evil.
"When this is the principal objc<5t in the view of thofe,
who confider themfelves as delegated fhepherds, ac-
countable for the prefervation of their flock, they
are religioufly engaged to promote it by fuch means
as are put into their power, under the influence of a
christian fpirit ; which preferves from a defire of oc-
cafioning fufFering, or more of it than is abfolutcly
necefTary for the obtaining of that end, gives patience
to perfevcre in labour without fainting, ftrength to
bear and forbear in their waitings for the fpringing up
of the good feed, and opens an eye of faith to look
for, and depend only upon, the blcfllng on their en-
deavours. Hereby the conduct of fuch is deeply in-
ftructivc to children ; and may leal upon their minds
CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 183
the pious concern of their preceptors, and affection-
ately endear them in a friendship laftingly profitable,
when they prove, through the influence of divine
love upon their own underftandings, the juftice,
mercy, and nobility of that chriftian difcipline which
has been exercifed towards them, and whereby they
have obtained fweet communion with, and an o-
pening to, the fountain of good in themfelves.
If in our paffage through life, we are often brought
to acknowledge that of ourfelves, without divine af-
ilftance, we can do nothing, is it not abundantly ob-
vious in the work of beftowing a religious education
on youth ? and fhould any wifdom prefide over that
" which cometh down from above, and is firft pure,
then peaceable, gentle, and eafy to be intreated, full
of mercy, and full of good fruits, without partiality,
and without hypocrify ?" It is lamentable to fee
how people in general, and even fome who feek the
fenfe of truth on other occafions, feem to confider
themfelves, at any time, or in any difpofition, qua-
lified to inftrucl: and correct children, without per-
ceiving that their own wills require to be firft fub-
dued, before they can acceptably be inftrumental in
fubduing the will of others. Though acts of indif-
cretion, or feverities, may have a tendency to hum-
ble thofe who receive them (through whole ilncerity
all things work together for good, even as perfecti-
on has been bleffed to thouiands) yet the inftru-
ments are by no means acquitted thereby, their con-
duct nofi being the produce of that faith, which
worketh by love, to the purifying of the heart. It
is not to be expected but that there is referved for
284 OBSERVATIONS on
fucli, a proportionate degree of fuffcring, to that
which, in their own wills, they have occafioned to
others : though, by their natural undcrftanding on-
ly, their perception of divine recompenfe may not
be clear enough to diitinguifh it, yet a righteous re-
tribution, or receiving that meafure themfelves which
have meted to others, may await them.
" Provoke not your children to wrath," laid the
apoftle. A conduct may be exercifed towards youth,
which being under the influence of the paffions, has
a natural tendency to raife a fimilar return. To pu-
nifh a child becaufe it has offended us, without the
difcovery of an evil defign, is to act under an un-
chriftian fpirit, which revenges injuries. This is a
difpofition which is apt to receive its gratifications
from a flattering, cringing fpirit, and from fuch
marks of refpec~t as originate in an impure fpring of
action ; and hence, teachers of children may, from
a fuperficial judgment, approve and ftrengthen the
little pharifees under their care ; whilft the pure life
that is ftruggling in the hearts of fome who refemble
the publican, is crufhed and difregarded. Many and
deep are the forrows of the childhood of fome, which
proceed from different caufes : and doubtlefs that in-
capacity wherein they are placed for obtaining rc-
drefs from real grievances, and the abufe of power
being ftrengthened in thofc from whom they receive
them, may be numbered amongft thefc affecting < -
cafions. Many children, even in our fociety, have
a loofe unguarded education, and grow up as dege-
nerate plants of a ftrangc vine, lui\iu little
care cxercilcd towards them, except to indulge their
CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 285
unruly appetites, and paffionate defifes ; thefe re-
quire the yoke to be laid upon them with caution
and true judgment, left more fhould be commanded
than they pofTefs abilities to perform, and fo their
deficiency be unjuftly laid to their charge : yet the
cultivation of their minds fhould be fteadily pur-
fued, under that holy ailiftance without which we
can do nothing acceptably. Paft experience does
not appear to be a fufflcient qualification for this,
any more than for other religious fervices, even
where it has been right, and much lefs fo, when
it has not been ftrictly under the influence of that
wifdom, which is pure and without partiality.
Wifdom and ftrength muft be waited for, day by
day, for the right performance of our duties, be-
fore Him who weighs our actions in the balance
of pure juftice, and only approves thofe which are
wrought in the fpirit. To educate children reli-
gioufly, requires a quietude of mind, and fympa-
thy in their guardians, with the ftate of the good
feed in them, which will lead rightly to difcri-
minate between good and evil j to difcover the
corrupt fource of many feeming good actions ; and
to perceive that a real innocency is the root of
others, which cuftom, and a fuperficial inveftiga-
tion, have rendered reprehenfible. Here we fee
the neceffity of true wifdom being renewed, and
the infufficiency of that which is carnal, and boafts
its own experience and ftrength. It is the hum-
bled mind to which is unfolded fuch myfteries
of true godlinefs, for its own edification, and that
of thofe under its care, as could not have been
286 OBSERVATIONS on
received in the fupport of a falfe confequence,
and the lo\e of fuperiority. If children are to
be inftructed in the ground work of true religion,
ought they not to dilcover in thofe placed over
them, a lively example thereof? or ought they to
fee any thing in the conduct of others, which
would be condemnable in them, were they in li-
milar circumftanccs ? Of what importance then is
i r for guardians of children, to rule their own
fpirits ; for when their tempers are irritable, their
language impetuous, their voices exerted above
What is ncceilary, their threatening* unguarded,
or the execution of them ralh, however children
may for a time fuller under thefc things, they
are not inftrucicd thereby in the ground work
of true religion; nor will the witnefs of truth,
as their judgments mature, approve a conduct like
this ; tho' thru' the bias of felf-will, it may be adopt-
ed in fimilar cafes, in a fucceeding generation,
by thofe who, inked of having gathered good
feed, have, from the mixture (! their education,
preferred the bad, which meeting with a foil fuit-
able to its nature, grows and becomes fruitful, to
the corrupting of many more.
The love of power is fo deeply implanted in the
natural mind, that without we i p it, and its
evil tendency, in the true light, we are not like-
ly to confidcr it as an cm my of our own houfe,
againft which we are called to war with as much
righteous zeal, as againft the evil in others •, vea
with more, becaufe it is declared inch are our
greateft foos. Where this corrupt part is cherifh-
CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 287
ed, it ftains our actions ; and having gained the
afcendency over the pure, lowly feed, bribes and
influences the judgment refpecting good and evil,
and eftablifhes the mind in a felf complacence,
which, however productive of reproof, has feldom
an ear open to that inftruction by which itfelf
ftands condemned. The prodigal difplay and ufe
of power is the very deftruction of chriftian dis-
cipline. Power is neceflary ; not to be affumed in
the will of the creature, but to ftand fubfervient
to the judgment of truth, under which it ought
to be exerted j lying in ambuih as a waiting,
affifting force, ready to be called in cafes of dif-
ficulty ; when, if it ftep forth in true dignity, the
appearance, rather than the ufe of it, may gene-
rally prove fufficient, and its wile retreat render
it ftill more ufeful and reverenced. True love,
clearnefs of judgment, and the meeknefs of wif-
dom, are the Supporters of true dignity ; and
where thefe prevail in a mind under divine go-
vernment and control, they give authority, firm-
nefs, and benevolence, in thought, word, and
deed ; which have a profitable and comfortable
effect upon thofe who are placed under their in-
fluence, and open a door for undifguifed familia-
rity, and affectionate intercourfe, wherein children
receive inftruction more fuitably and cordially, than
under the arbitrary fway of a continually affumed
power. Should we lay hold of chriftian difcipline
in all its branches, and return with it to its
root, either amongft children or in the church,
we fhall always find it originates in a chriftian -
288 OBSERVATIONS 8ct.
fpirif, and that every plaufible appearance which
is defective in this ground, is lb far no better
than founding brafs, or a tinkling cymbal.
The right education of children, especially in
boarding-fchools, is no doubt a Clofe and ardu-
ous work ; thofe, however, who are rightly en-
gaged therein, and endeavour after their own re-
finement, and an encreafing acquaintance with the
Fountain of Purity in themfelves, need not have
their eve outward for the cftablifhment of power
and authority ; for He who feeds the ravens and
clothes the lilies, knows what they ftand in need
of, and is able, out of his own treafury, to fup-
ply all their wants ; to be " mouth and wifdom,
tongue and utterance •," and will not fail to help
under their greateft difficulties, if they fupport a
patient dependence upon Him alone, and profitably
live under the perfuafion, that when He lhuts,
no one ihould attempt to open, and when He
opens, none can fliut.
EXTRACTS
FROM
LETTERS
WRITTEN BY
SARAH GRUBB.
QHEFFIELD 5th month 1772* — I cannot but wifh.
to fpend a few weeks with thee, either here or
at York j but as I am ftnfible it is not good for any
of us to have our inclinations gratified at all times,
I am defirous to be eafy, and refigned to every thing
that may crofs my natural propenfities j that fo, when
affliction and probation may prefent therofelves,
which certainly will attend our pilgrimage through
this uncertain ftage of life, I may be the more
ftrengthened to undergo thefe trying feafons with
patience and fortitude. But I may conclude with
the words which thou haft repeated before ; " to
will, is prefent with me, but to do, I know not ;"
for though this fortitude and refignation are things
much to be defired, yet to be entirely given up to
* In the 1 6th year of her age,
O
2yo EXTRACT S from
the will and difpofal of a kind providence, is no cafy
attainment. Thou mentioned the difference of our
fituations ; and it would be ungra if 1 did not
confider, and look upon my privileges, as favours
from indulgent heaven, if I make a proper ufe of
them. But it is the hate of the mind that limits
our happinefs ; and alas ! it is the want of a iuiii-
cient care in the cultivation of my mind, that is a
means of obftruc'ting that peace which it ^vould be
fweet to enjo) .
York, 7th month 1773 — I often think our troubles
r.re much augmented, by looking on thofe who are
in a more advantageous ftation, according to our
opinion; when, if we could but content ourkhes
with putting their many mortifications, to balance
the adverfe conditions of fome on whom external
circumftances feem never to have fmiled, and
whofe life has been a feries of affli&ion, it would
amply compenfate for tlie labour. Due conlidcr-
ation would make our forrowa appear greatly
fhort of what providence might have allotted for
us, and would frequently prove them to be the
refult of paffion, or imaginary ills.
York, 4th month 1774 — Thy Letter was falu-
tary and grateful, arriving when my mind v.
anxioufly concerned on many accounts. The Ci
of fo large a family, thou wilt readily own, mnit
engrofs a large (hare of my attention; it is a
t.nk to which I often think myfclf unequal,
especially sunongft children} bul thai I am wil-
ling to make the bed of, if I may but be enabled
i'o to conduct, '. . to give no real caulc of offence,
LETTERS. 191
nor to example in any thing that is contrary to
the Simplicity of truth. Under thefe considera-
tions, I fee my own infufficiency, and how un-
able I am to aft the part of an elder fifter,
without a daily fupport from the Fountain of
every good. What mould we do, were there
nothing to fly to but the instruments, the pub-
lishers of the gofpel ? what aid can they lend
us ? what Strength in weaknefs, in comparifon of
that inward Stay, which, if enough looked unto,
would be the Staff of our lives ? Arid with
this gracious privilege, how mournful is it to
confider the preference that is given to the foi-
bles of this tranfitory life, before that true peace
which flows from the Divine monitor, the teacher,
within ?
York, 8th month 1775 — And now permit me
to tell thee how welcome a part of thine was ;
it led me, when I read it, to conclude, that after
looking on all the frailties of human nature, and
perplexing ourfelves with a view of the various
and intricate fcenes of this life, the neceffary re-
fult Should be, " to be quiet, and mind our own
buSinefs ;" or, as thou faycit, to endeavour to feel
ourfelves approved by Him who fees not as man
fees. If we make welcome every obstacle that is
prefented in the way to peace, we may juftly con-
clude that we Shall never arrive at the peaceful
Jerufalem, the quiet habitation which cometh down
from God out of heaven. The confideration of
this enjoyment, fometimes prompts the mind to
O 2
EXTRACTS from
foar, or to afcend gradually to tl e I .main,
where we may be taught the ways of right eoul-
nefs, and I 'a the | of true p<
but how fait we defcend to the place from whence
we cair.i* ! h w predpitati do we drop into
fome region of darknefs ! for lurcly there are
many degrees ; but happy are they who are re-
ned from its power. May we not jultly deem
ourfelves, when under any entanglement, any fet-
ter that prevents our deeds being brought to
true l'g''t, the light of the Lamb, as alienated, in
part, from the Father of mercies, and eftran
from His celcitial fpring ! how neceflary therefore
is it for us to watch at all feafons, in i\
of peace, as well as in the fpiritual warfare ; for
we know not when the hour of temptation O
eth, and our fortification may prevent the
ment. How preferving is that lai ■■> " I will
t me to my watch tower;" and what a favour it
is, our not being ignorant, that the Das E "I the
Lord is a tower to the righteous;
ioth month 1777 — I expect this will find thee
at , where 1 wi(h thy vifil to be attended
with more folic] fatis faction than thou looked for;
if not, it may be no I .jii.ible. My v ; ■ ftnaU
ice has taught mc, that endeavouring to
keep near t" the Fountain of life, in company
whei arifings are evidently fupprefled, often
. more to our real growth in t! ■' or
true • ii, than the caly trjoyment of valuable
Is company, with whom wc are not driven
to our refjge.
LETTERS. 293
1 2th month 1777 — I doubt not but thou hall
thought, with myfelf, the conduct of the genera-
lity of young men to be painful ; for what num-
bers do we fee of thefe, who, prompted by the
irregularity of youthful fervour, fuffer their minds
to be entangled with every fluttering object of
vanity •, little confidering that they are expofing
themfelves to innumerable forrows, and inconfider-
ately and rapidly purfuing an Ignis-fatuus, which
will lead them into a labyrinth of perplexities. Oh !
could they, inftead of this, centre and retire to
that reverent fear in themfelves, which would
prove a fountain of life, preferving from the fnares
of death, there is no reafon to doubt that the inex-
hauftibie Fountain, would not only turn their feet
into the path of peace, but fo far eftablifh their
goings therein, that every important concern of
their lives would be favoured with divine directi-
on •, and in that very momentous one of marriage,
the language of truth would be fo intelligible as to
direct them to the right object ; and then, with what-
holy confidence might they propofe thefe connex-
ions, while our fex, with an humble awful diffi-
dence, wait alfo for counfel from on high, and
to feel the fame affurance of divine approbation :
thus all would be confummated to the praiie of
Him whofe favour they had fought and implored.
Much do I wilh that my heart may ever be fa-
voured to poffefs a degree of this primitive pu-
rity, though no matrimonial confiderations require
it ; the faying of the Apoftle often occurs to my
o 3
294 EXTRACTS from
mind ; " that godlincfs is profitable unto all
tlf.ngs."
7th month 1778 — We arc now again loft with
the care of a family that requires fome attention
and circumfpection. I never felt more unlit for
the taflc, nor more ready to query, who is equal
to it, and to conclude, furcly not I. A difcreet
conduit, an affectionate behaviour, attempered with
juft fo much ftcady authority as to excite refpect
united to an unavoidable love, and thefe not to
fluctuate with the iituation of the mind, is an at-
tainment which I fear will never be mine, and
which indeed will be unneceffary in a very few
years with refpect to my fitters ; but yet it does
appear, at leaft in my eyes, abfolutely rcquifte for
thofe on whom the education of children devolves.
Where people are thus qualified, and difcharge
their duty, they will find a pleafure with the impor-
tant charge ; (t for in it there is a happinefs, as well
as care." There is certainly fomething in the
affectionate part of us, which tends rather to de-
le. it, than promote the growth of true religion,
except it be- fan&ified under the operation of
the divine hand ; when that is happily experienc-
ed, fome of the natural propenfities become blef-
fings, and very laudably he' ! I : . . the cr.joymc;.t
of fpiritual 01
nth month 1* Thou h^ft, I doubt not,
already heard of the unl .1 • late-
ly been in, 1 by a forrc.vful and ,
, . d ith of our dear friend .
J at the fummit of
LETTERS. i 95
earthly happinefs, and to have conferred the lame
enjoyment upon her beloved partner ; yet alas !
how tranile-iit was the duration of this ffcate ; and
indeed, how unfit is it for minds who are too
apt to rejoice in profperity without trembling,
and whofe affections are centred only in focial
comforts ! We cannot but conclude that, by theie
inftructive lemons of mortality, the divine inten-
tion is to refine and purify, and to fhew all who
behold them the necefiity, the great neceflity, of
having our minds centred where fluctuating things
can never come. This was, beyond a doubt, the
happy fiiuation that her mind was in fomefime
before her departure ; for about a week before
her death, fhe told her hufband, " that her
mind was fteadily fixed upon the joys to come ;"
and added, " I am fenfible I fhall not recover ;
and I have now been where they were finging
Tiallelujah's to the Kigheft, and it was pleafant
in my ears. I have feen the beautiful fituation
of the inhabitants of the new Jeiufaiem:" with
many fimilar expreflions, which I have hardly
either leifure or room to infert j but the foregoing
will give thee an idea of the comfortable ftate her
mind was in, which fhe appeared to preferve to
the laft.
The two following pieces of religious poetry ap-
pear to have been compofed, the firft, in the
year 1778, foon after her return from a vifit to
fome of her friends, and the latter, fome confi-
derable tans afterwards; and as they are folec":ri
Q a
2 9 6 EXTRACTS from
and inftni(5live lines, and defcribe the pious and
exercifed frame of her fpirit, they claim a place
in this collection. Though fhe pofTcffcd a eonfi-
derable talent for this fort of compofition, yet fhe
cultivated it hut little, and very rarely indulged
herfelf therein ; this may have proceeded irom an
apprchenfion, that it too often tends to draw out,
and habituate the mind to a difplay of unfelt fen-
timents ; a too high colouring, if not a falfc re-
prefentation, of things ; and a decoration of lan-
guage inconiiftent with the iimplicity of truth. It
is, indeed, a talent which, in its exercife, requires
very great circumfpec'tion •, and, in the reading to
which it leads, a religious guard and limitation.
Though clothed now with eafe, tho' the pure
ftream
Of focial converfe and congenial love
Now offers me its balm, yet doth my foul,
In retrofpect, far other fcenes furvey,
Far other fources for cnergic pow'rs.
How can my pen pourtray the deep diftrefs,
How paint the angniih of a heart that bled,
Or how defcribe the current as it flou'd
From furrow's briny deeps ? It fails ; and loft
In recollection's ms , the mind that fit,
Can only now explore the ambient main,
Which, with impet'ous hafte, my little bark
Sow'dj and leeui'd to Gale it in th' abyfs.
LETTER S. 297
But fay, why funk it not ? by what kind hand
Was it fuftain'd ? or why was it not driv'n
Againft that rock, on which fo many fplit,
And pour their mournful accents to the waves ?
'Twas not thyfelf that did fupport ; 'twas not
Thy ftrength bore up : thou canft not thus convert
Th' o'erwhelming furge of mourning into joy.
Then who ? that great I AM, that Majefty
"Who made the buih his temple, and whofe flames
Confum'd it not ; who breaketh by his word,
And with confolatory bands binds up ;
Did he not condefcend to intervene ?
Did he not fay ? " be ftill, it is enough,"
Yea, with companionate regard, pour'd in
The wine and oil. Forget it not, my foul !
Nor feek a greater joy : yet patient be
In fuffering '5 in. feafons of diftrefs,
"When nature pours her bitters in thy heart,
"When heav 'n feems brafs, and earth with iron bars
Doth hold its cheering goodlinefs from thee ;
Then with a calm reigned mind give up,
Freely furrender all thou calleft thine ;
No longer reft on Jordan's banks, but with
Stability ftep in, and learn to know
That ftones there are which for memorials {erve ;
Then bring them up from thence, as proofs where
thou
Haft been, and therewith raife thine Ebenezer.
But ah ! how thoughtlefs in this .profp'rous ftate,
"Which now I view, but not with equal eye j
Yet humbled in the duft, implore thy aid,
OS
208 EXT R ACTS
Thy care, thou benefacl
Can I, aroidft each finding feci :cl
And cull the ( and tl all
That's tiered ? Hew render thee thy di
For benefits, " thy mercy and thy truth
Through ev*ry difpenfation of th) .
Through ev'rv min'ftration of th] orients,
Grant, ah! grant, . . afed fpirit 3
That To, thv great fupreme coi
May t : I, and mine as clay be forn
Andy;, my friends! ■•• were and .
The fweet endear'd i nions of my lii
Ah ! may we to; others bl( QBi s .!.
Soften each (brrow, ii termix eac
th unity of fp:r;t fo ar above
Thefe tranfitory thi
Together drink tl :dwinej
And in that pure and puriJ .ream,
Which from the throne of the molt High proceeds,
Witnefs our minds 1
foul afcends
Above thefe trj nfi
An.. I with fongs as in the nig
She to the m< s
b harp and pipe, to celebrate
of Zion's King,
a weaned mind proftrate,
:ng br
LETTERS. 299
Prepare the off'ring, facred flame,
And confecrate my ground,
That, by the virtue of thy name,
Acceptance may be found.
Thy gracious majefty that deigns
The contrite foul to hear,
Thy wifdom that forever reigns,
i5id humbled minds draw near.
Shall I repine then to prefent
The off'ring of my will,
Shall I ungratefully ccnient
Th' immortal birth to kill ?
Forbid it Lord ! and aid my foul
The conflicts to endure,
Which, thro' thy merciful controul,
Make ail things new and pure.
O grant thy all-fuftaining arm
My drooping mind to bear,
And with thy confolations warm
Preferve me from defpair.
Thou know'ft the tribulated path,
Which leads from death to life,
Thou know'ft the baneful dragon's wrath,
His enmity and ftrife.
Thy light and truth, moft gracious God,
Withhold not from my foul ;
Ncr yet thy wife chaftifing rod,
Nor David's warning pool.
3oo EXTRACTS from
In faith, and patience, centre deep
The myfe'rics thou reveals ;
And, with an everlafting fleep,
And thy immortal feals,
Envelope each unworthy view ;
That fanclified aright,
Thy glorious caufe I may purfue,
And witnefs to the light.
Thus thro' the few fucceeding ft.
Appointed me to run,
Thy honour may be all in all,
Thy pru. ae be fun^
I ft month 1779 — The rc-cftabliflimcnt of our
own, or our friends' health, from the verge of
that eternity to which we are haftening, ought to
excite deep gratitude of mind, and lead to a ft ill
greater degree of obedience and preparation for
the final call. The feafons which I palled, and the
meditations with which my mind was fupported,
when watching over my departing friend', arc, I
think I may fay, continually before me. How low
and how groveling appeared every mundane thing !
How infignificant the moft dcfirable connexions in
life, when compared with that certain portion of
ha; , that unbounded fphcrc of felicity, which
is referved for the pure in heart ! even the (bong
1 of friendfhip and love were fubfervicnt to thefe
LETTERS. 301
feelings j infomuch that I have queried, when re-
flecting how thefe fetters to our diflblution were
removed, whilft thofe important profpedts were be-
fore me, " what ailed thee, oh thou fea, that thou
fleddeft, thou Jordan, that thou waft driven back,
ye mountains, that ye fkipped like rams, and ye
little hills, like lambs !" But alas ! this lafted not
long ; for when the folemn, awful mefTenger had
proclaimed liberty to a captive fpkit, and tranflated
it to where mine could not afcend, then arofe every
natural emotion, and inftructed me, that in a conti-
nual warfare confifted my peace. But what can I now
fay ? for on thefe things, as on the manna that was
gathered yefterday, am I too apt to live, without
enough feeking the frefh defcendings of celeftial
food, and patiently fubmitting to that creative pow-
er, which would form us into the ftate of a little
child. The aptitude of my difpofition to rife above
the humbling principle of truth, and form to my-
felf a likenefs which may be compared to a mar-
ble ftatue, or an image of fubftantial good, often
leads my mind into deep lamentation and mourn-
ing ; with a painful fear, that I fhall never be en-
titled to the handing forth of the royal fcepter, the
mark of divine approbation ; but to that fentence
of depart, and being fet as on the left hand : yet
when we furvey thefe fleeting moments, or rather
look over them to the endlefs ages that enfue,
we cannot but conclude, that nothing fhort of a
ftate of infatuation would lead us to exchange, or
even rifque our everlafting well-being, for the ve-
ry beft things of this world.
3d EX f R A C T S from
4th month 1 - 79 — Al.is ! how is a 1 irge degree of
truth, inward excellence, and whatever <.onititutes
true lovelinefs, removed ! how is the beaut] fallen !
AA'ei to us her friends ; but to that im-
mortal fpirit in her which has long, in profpecl of a
future glorious admiffion into the celeftial regions of
'it, been willing to defcend into the deeps, a:.d
there behold the marvellotis works of Him whom ;
rved, it is a happy let. Though lhe differed much,
though forrow came in the night, in the clofe of a
world wherein lhe had many troubles, yet joy has, I
doubt not, fprung in the morning, in the opening of
an en . How juftiy may wc re on iur
... count, who was counted worthy of ft) an en-
trance to where the aged can but hope to be, and
whole work is done : a circumftance which the im-
patient mind, 1 believe, often wiihes for. A la-
mentation for thole who knew her worth, and who
hoped for a future uniting with her in the covenant
of life, and of that wifdom which is from above,
may, with unfeigned propriety, be adopted. Ft r
my own part, all that was within me, (when I feu:
what thy intelligence was 1 * fecmed (truck with a
ment, and was loft for a time in reflection on her
great and awful change; but when I recollected
myfelf, that lhe was forever removed-, and that,
through the intricacies of life, I was left to move
without her friendly alViftanccs, and fellow-feeling
mind, a deep fenfe of mourning enfued : for from
fo fhort, and even from a Ion;' intcrcourfc, I think
1 never reaped fo much folid benefit v ith any.
And alas! ihort lighted as I was, I hr ' it an
LETTERS. 303
carncft of fomc future fellowship in this life •, ;
that, through the various trials that attended it, a
providential help might be difpenfed us through
each other. But now, I find it was the fulnefs ~.-
lotted us, and that, like Jonah's gourd, it fprung
to me in a night, and has withered before the
brightnefs of the day ; withered in a time wherein
my weaknefs leads me too much to lean on fuch
helps. But this Ihock relaxes the delire, and points
to the ftrong tower, the refuge of the righteous,
where alone is true fafety j and oh ! may we flee
thither, for the habitation is quiet and lure. I very
much lympathize with you in the prefent trial, the
lofs of fo near and valuable a friend. Your attach-
ment I believe was ftrong, and the feparation hard ;
but how much more profitable, if, inftcad of an
unavailing forrow, we confider the church's lofs ;
that one who filled an ufeful fphere is removed,
and consequently, that that (hare is left to devolve
upon the fhouiders of fome } I fay, if we confider
and look fuffieiently at this, being willing to ftep,
if required, into her path, (which I know was fe-
cretly exercifed, not only for herfelf, but for the
profperity of the great and noble caufe), and there-
by redeem the lofs, how acceptable muft that tri-
bute be, in the fight of Him who fees not as man
fees ■, and, if it fpring from a heart devoted to the
work rather than the reward, how truly profitable
to ourfelves ! The end of the righteous is defina-
ble, in whatever ftage of life it arrives ; but for my
own part, if I could hope mine would be fuch, I
own I cannot help feeling a wilh, that its approach
304 EXTRACTS from
might be in the early or middle part : in what the
dclire originates, I cannot pretend to fay, hut it
is, perhaps, in forae unjustifiable part of illf-love.
6th month 1779 — How acceptable was thy ac-
count of the latter, and lalt end of our beloved
friend ! My mind often recurs to it for hope, and
for ftrength to peri'evere and to obtain j but there
appears Jo much to conltitute our claim to the
peaceful abode, into which the righteous only can en-
ter, that my mind enjoys but a fmall portion of
faith to believe it will ever reach its confines ;
yet I am fometimes led to confider, whether our
refearches a*fter happinefs, are not too much ac-
tuated by principles of felf-love ; and whether it
is confiftent with the benevolence which the gof-
pel inculcates, that in all our concerns, and the
exercife of our greatefc virtues, we fhculd be con-
tinually enquiring 'after the reward : docs it not,
my friend, (for I really do not know) indicate a
Kttlenefs of mind, and a want of confidence in Him
who is, " juft and equal in all liis ways ?" for in
our works there is no merit to the creature ; if
we truft not, where is our faith ? if we perfevere
not, where is our patience ? and if in this life, we
partake of the fulncls of that joy which is fown for
the upright, where is the glorious referve for futuri-
ty ? Should we not then, if our minds were clothed
with the nobility of the fpirit in which we bell
rtfign all things ? and being humble, hitler all
things ? and do all things in pure love, cxclulive of
any Jcllifh view ?
In your county as well as ours, there arc a
few who have not bowed the knee, nor J'^crificcd
LETTERS. 305
to the workmanShip of men's hands, yet the gene-
ral depravity does fo often obstruct the current of
life, and thereby (tagger the feeble mind, that I
believe you often experience, a fee king water and
finding none •, but fear not, for He in whom is
the fulnels of Strength, is your refuge.
8th month 1779 — Though I am firm in the
belief, that if we experience the work of true re-
generation, all our attachments muft be tried in a
furnace, which the natural understanding cannot
of itfelf comprehend, and that the precious muft
be feparated from the vile, by the mySterious ope-
rations of the divine hand ; yet I do alfo hope,
that ours will be permitted to Stand, and that, if
we live to furvive the Strength of that youthful
ardor with which our prefent union is heighten-
ed, there will be enjoyed a fellowship, better and
more pure than any we have yet experienced,
and againSt which, all the fiery darts of the ene-
my will never be able to prevail. This, and fi-
milar to this, is, next to the immediate influence
of the divine prefence, what I Strongly covet to
partake of, in this viciSIitude and vale of tears s
wherein a cup is Sometimes handed, which is fo
repugnant to our nature, that we cannot help en-
treating, let it, I pray thee, pafs from me. Eut
oh ! that we may be found worthy to enjoy the
celeStial bleffings difpenfed to the faithful, by obe-
dience to that power, which in all its workings,
tends to crucify felf, and prepare the mind to adopt
that refined language of, " not my will, but thine
be done." The more a mind poSTefles of that
3 o6 EXTRACTS from
wifdom ami nature, which act in opposition to
the true Simplicity of a little child, the greater
muft be the exercife •, and if it has long refufed the
clear manifestations of duty, it is no wonder if a
feafon of painful uncertainty enfues.
9th month 1779 — Art thou in health? art
thou Strong in Him who goeth before thee, and
who hath promifed that His glory ihall be the
rereward of the number that deal prudently, and
go not by flight? Ifaiah lii. 12, 13. How fafe
do the fteps of fuch appear, who have this glory
for a light to their feet, and the divinely illumi-
nated lamp to attend their path ! It is no wonder
that a way* fhould often open, where the human
understanding (which is dark and comprehends net
the things of the fpirit) can fee no way ; and that
everv neceSTary refreshment Should be interfperfed
therein. I fometimes think it is a favour, that
an eye is opened into this path, and that though
the advancement in it is Small, if there be any,
yet thus feeing, and preiTing forward, we may
obtain. I hope thou art treadin ; this furc ground,
and that thy memorials, which are brought from
the bottom of the purifying waters of Jordan,
are not hid ; or if they be, that it is only for
their refinement. But perhaps tlvy are like the
Sling Stones which David had ready in his bag,
till the appointed time of meeting the defer of
Ifrael was come, and are to be all 'fill in
prevailing again ft the enemies of the poor, m 1
the afflicted , which may be fpared in the
day of 2 ■ ral calamity. But be this as, it may,
LETTERS. 307
obedience is ftill to be attended to, and the pro-
phet's advice remembered, of not feeking to our-
feives great things, but to be content with every
difpenfation, whether of want or of plenty. When
this fituation is in any degree attained, how thank-
ful do we feel for even a fmall appearance of
good j for if the divine prefence is no more be-
held, than by the putting forth of His hand thro'
the hole of the door, it ftill fuftains and refrefb.es,
and ferves as food for many days.
icth month J 779 — Poor I feel for her
frequently, and have often thought of writing to
her *, but it has as often occurred, that except the
great Shepherd of Ifrael affift her, whence {hall
another do it ? As his voice, his crook, and his pro-
tection, are undoubtedly offered, 'tis furely weak
to fuppofe that the language of the creature can
equal the voice of this Charmer \ if indeed it do
not derogate, (as I am inclined to think it does)
from the omnipotence and wifdom of our holy head :
and I fometimes think, that nothing more proves
the deep rooted depravity of the human mind,
even when meafuveably illumined with the bright-
nefs and glory of the eternal excellency, than look-
ing at the members for help, and craving it from
that often poor, benumbed quarter, when, at the
fame time, it might be faid, " you have an unction
from the holy one, and you know thefe things."
ift month 1780 — There appears to me, no joy
like the joy of the righteous, nor any unity like
theirs; and next to the immediate influences of the
divine Spirit, it is to me deiirable. But obedience
3o8 EXTRACT S from
being the terms of this great and valuable poflefllon,
what numbers, for want of this, arc deprived of
it ! Yit he who is infinite in condefcenfion, and
whofe love is unutterable, deigns to reward for every
little fervice, and grants, at times, a facred view of
the myftery of his own church, and his marvellous
work therein. My friend is, I doubt not, well in-
ftructed in thefe things, and though I alfo believe
it is a time of fuffering like Jacob's, when the Urn
confumed by day, and the froft by night, yet He
who knows our neceffary refinements, is able to
limit the waters, that they do not overflow us, and,
in his own time, will fay to the operation of the
furnace, " it is enough." Till then, I truft deep
will " utter unto deep," and with an increafc of
fuffering, we fhall experience an increafc of holy
fellowfjiip.
3d month 1780 — My dear friend's letter was too
acceptable to lie long unacknowledged ; becaufe it
revived in the breaft of her friend all the cordiality
of an union and fellow-feeling, which I truft do
not originate in the part appointed for deftruc'tion ;
but arc rather the offspring of minds engaged,
(though feebly) to travail on as in great wcaknefs
and f^ar, and fomctimes having no language to ex-
prefs, either to the Fountain of good, or to one
another, but " fight unutterable." Ho lite is
the condefcenfion of that precious influence] whioh
hclpeth thefe our infirmities, and is touched with a
feeling of them ; aiding the mind, with a degree
of holy confidence, after all its apparent exclufioM
from the participation of divine good, once more
LETTERS. 309
to look towards his holy habitation. And as it is
through fufferings that our natures are refined and
fanctified, they muft not be of our own choofing,
becaufe the fuffering might then, in a great mea-
fure, ceaie, and that neceffary heat which attends
the furnace of afHidTion, and which purifies the
mineral, get quenched ; for fo depraved are our
ideas of things, that I have thought, and in fome
meafure felt, that even in our baptifms of fpirit,
we would wifh to have a choice ; fo active is felf,
that it cannot be fatisfied without a fphere to
move in. Think not, my beloved friend, that I
confider this as a peculiar propenfity of thine ; for it
rather occurred as a degree of painful experience.
I have often viewed your fituation, (and particu-
larly fmce the receipt of thine this morning) as
almoft too trying for flefh and blood, but He
who placeth the members of his church, and ap-
points them their lots, does not leave their fupports
to flow through thefe corrupt fources ; but marketh
their fteps, and, perhaps quite hiddenly, confirms
the feeble knees, and leadeth them in a way they
know not. My mind is frequently too much de-
preffed, and fometimes toiled with temp-efts, to
admit a confoiatory fentiment, much lefs to offer
my friend the language of encouragement; never-
theless I cannot help expreffing my firm belief, that
all your troubles will work together for good, and
that the deeper they are, the greater will be the
preparation for a glorious reward in the houfe of
the one Father, with whom a book of remembrance
is written.
3 io EXTRACTS from
4th month 1780 — I want to hear how you feel
yourfelves at your new habitation, and whether it
proves a Go/hen to , whole mind has often
felt to me to be fecretly clad with fackcloth, eveu
when perhaps obeying the command, " to v/ath anil
to anoint, rather than appear^to men as if fafting :'
and as this is a iituation neceiTary for us, its continu-
ance adminifters no caufe of difcontent, if we have
but an evidence that we have not .1 out of
the holy mclofure ; finding the fence of divine
appointment to be about us, no matter what we buf-
fer. It is not for our rejoicings, and what feels
comfortable to ourfelves, that we can expect a re-
ward ; but rather for our trials and probations, if we
endure them with patience ; ami even for thefe we
have no reafon to expect a full reward ; for if that
were the cafe, wlvre would be the referve for the
fruition of joy in the life to come? Neverthelefs, we
do fometimes get favoured, in our wiidcrnefs journey,
with a little bread handed in fecret, and with an
opening of the brook by the way ; and the re-
membrance of our partaking of this tog< ther, re-
frefhes and (trcngthens in fame gloomy fcafons. I
have often reafon to number your friendly regard to
me amonoft the bleflings of my life, and I fometimes
think, in the feeling of a oearnefs I cannot defcribe,
that my affection to you i, not lefs than filial. May
I be preserved worthy this fellowDiip, and, by an
increafe ol purity, lind an incrcafe of that union of
fpirit which lives beyond the g ' 1 think nothing
has more conduced to my con£ lence in, and fellow--
feeling with you, than the belief that your reproof and
LETTERS. 311
plain dealing would be as readily adminiftered to me,
as your encouragement ; and I befeech you, -never
lofe light of this opennefs, for I am furely one of
the weakeft and moft frail of the whole flock and fa-
mily, if I am worthy to be included in the number :
and yet, if I know my own heart, it is not myfelf,
but the caufe which I have in view ; and I wifh for
ftill more of that difpofition which can enable us to
lay, " let the righteous fmite me, and it fhall be
a kindnefs ; let him reprove me, and it mall be an
excellent oil."
5th month 1780. — How truly valuable is this pre-
cious unity which, like the oil that was poured upon
the head of Aaron, remains to anoint the very fkirts
of the garments of thofe who have obtained the
mark of difciplefhip, to love one another ! In the re-
newal of it, I feel greater conlblation than is ufually
b-flowed upon me from caufes of this kind, becaufe
there are few indeed with whom I find myfelf near-
ly united, or whofe regard affords me relief in the
time of want, although I know them to be far fu-
perior to myfelf ; infomuch that I conclude the com-
mand is certainly to me, " falute no one by the
way." But glad I am that there is an exception to
this, and that I hope I can in the right line falute
my friend by the way, and vilit him in the wildernefs,
where all who are united to the true church muft
chiefly dwell, and wait for its redemption : and if
this is not found in otir time, we have yet reafon to
hope, that having partaken in fome meafure of its
fufFerings, whether principally for ourfelves as mem-
bers, or for the whole body, this offering will be accept*
312 EXTRAC T.S irom
cble to the Searcher of hearts ; and, then if in His
wifdom fome of our days fhould prove to be few and
full of forrow, may we not look towards the mori:-
ing of a better day, and an inheritance in that coun-
try whofe inhabitants n< ver fay, they arc fii k ! Were
it not, noW and then, for a little of this hope
which lives within the vail, I know not how things
would be got through j fo felfifh am 1 that I fear the
reward is too much an object, and not that perfect
love which cafteth out fear, and is ready to obey
and fufrer all things for the work's fake.
9th month 1780 — I have iclt a more than ufual
impulfe to falute thee, my much beloved friend,
and, according to my little ability, to ftrengthen
thee in repeating the efforts which I truft thou art,
at times, concerned to ufe tor thy own everlafting
welfare, by turning a deaf ear to the fubtle infinua-
tions of the adverfary, who is evidently feek-
i'.g thy destruction. I am well convinced that
no language I can ufe, except it be blelled with
the efficacy, as well as appearance, of indifputablc
truth, will ever be acceptable to thee, or prove pro-
fitable; and it is, I may truly lay, at this time par-
ticularly, the fervent en ;ag irwent of my mind,
that thou mayft come to a fettlement in that power
which is unchangeable, and which would, it thy
anxieties and deftn . fpirit were more
damped, inftrucl thee full further in the myftery of
thyfelf, and that ofgodlinefs which is profitable for
thee. With what manner of h>\. bath the i.thcr
loved thee ? hath often in effect been th 1 y and
exclamation of my mind, when the wonders of thy
LETTERS. 313
deliverance from Egyptian bondage have occurred,
with an evidence of the Hand that wrought them,
and of that mighty power which hath caufed the
bufh to burn before thee, and convinced thee that
the ground whereon thou ftood was holy. As fure
as ever he was with Ifrael, and with Mofes their
leader, he is with thee ; and thy truft in him, and
feeking for a paffive ftate of mind in that wildernefs
travel which may be affigned, will, I believe, effect
thy arrival at the Land of Promife. But think not,
my beloved friend, when there is a want of water,
and of that refrefhment which the unmodified will is
eagerly thirfting after, to ufe the means whereby the
meeknefs of Mofes was overcome, toftriketherock, and
thereby offend that holy providential care, which will
never have thee to fuffer for want of true knowledge,
but will be found to provide thee with food in due
feafon ; and tho' it may not always be pleafant, but,
at times, may rcfemble Mara's waters for bitternefs,
yet the fpiritual Canaan being in view, and not ex-
pected on this fide Jordan, the river of true judg-
ment, it will animate to ftill greater degrees of vir-
tue, fuch as patience, fortitude, and ftrength, in
this holy travail. Under a renewed belief that thou
art in the place allotted by divine wifdom, I feel an
earned folicitude, that thou mayeft be ftrengthened
to difcharge thy duty in every good word and work ;
and that He who hath plucked thy feet out of much
mire and clay, may not only fet thee upon the im-
movable Rock, and eftablifh thy goings, but, in His
own time, put fuch a fong of deliverance into thy
mouth, as will la it to all eternity. It is, my dear
P
3 i4 FA T R A C T S from
id, with a love which I truft is more than natu-
ral, that I re-falute thee, and bid thee he of good
cheer, and labour to detect every deluiion, for truly
there is light enough for it.
loth month 178c — Animated with the cllufions
of much love and near fellowship, I have many times
fecretly f.duted you ilnce my abrupt departure from
; where I was thankful to feel, after a long fait
from fenfible enjoyments, either religious or focial,
that there is yet an union to he attained with the
fpirit of pure love, and that we can in a ftate of
mutability, in proportion to our faithfulnefs, partake
together of its binding influence. A revival oi this
fenfe, I was and am, I hope grateful for, and glad
to find a ilmilar fentlment in my companion. I
neither received, nor expected any great peace
reward for the offering of paying you a vilit, which
was not completely of the free-will fort ; but thus
much I may fay, that a degree of comfort
renity attended my returning mind. My till-
ing myfelf in the way of meetings, in which mj
tendance has not appeared to be in the movings 1 .
light, is not, in my idea, without danger : for if we
depend, tho' in ever fo final! a matter upon a put-
ting forth which has not a little clearnefs for its evi-
dence, we may Likewife conclude it to be equ
fafe, to offer our fervice from as doubtful an im-
pulfe ; and thus, lam apprehensive, a cj
may enfuc. And having accuftomed to adopt
29 through perhaps a willingn,' . to do go
h have not Dome the royal im dif-
Linguiihing feelings niay gradually bet weak-
LETTERS. 315
ened, that the pure unmixed word may get fullied,
and the powerful demonstration thereof decreaf;
This is a fentiment which I offer by way of apo-
logy for myfelf ; and yet I would not have my
friends to conclude, that I believe great openings
are to be looked for, in every little fervice. If
the token of rain be ever o fmall, yet if it be fo
fure as to bear the companion of the cloud of the
fize of a man's hand, I am of opinion, (though
not always willing to accept it) that it is as much
to be depended upon, as if the clouds were open-
ed, and we felt the fhowers from thence. It is
certainty, though ever fo little in appearance, that
I wilh to follow.
ift month 1 78 1 — The trials which I believe arc
in infinite wifdom allotted to the rightly concerned,
are many ; of which, I truft, we have been favour-
ed to (hare ; yet we have no need to make out
way harder, by adding fo continually our own judg-
ments, and difcouragements upon them ; making
comparifons which we have no right to do, and
weighing things which can only be tried in the
balance of the fandtuary : for we know fo little
of things above us, that we are very incompetent
judges who ftand moft in divine approbation. I can-
not but much wifh that would grow wifer re-
ipecting thefe things, and endeavour to flint but dif-
couragements which do not come in the line of wif-
dom ; and then, I am fatisfied, me would find her
way to be as eafy as fhe thinks mine is, and would
be convinced that her labours have been more ac~
P 2
3 i6 EXTRACTS from
ccptable to him who put her forth, than flic will
often allow.
I ft month I 78 I — Docs not Solomon fiv, that a
few words fitly fpoken are like apples of gold in
pictures of filver ? I think he does ; hut whether or
not, it is fo in the fcripture of my heart, and vour
lines prove the juftnefs of it. Feeling has no fellow,
and if the addrefs be but felt by the receiver in
the covenant of true love, it is fomething like fuch
a miiiiftry as I covet, where words are loft in power.
Deceitful as I know my own heart to be, I will not
allow that my remembrance of you arifes wholly
from " an imbibed favourable imprelTion in times
pa ft," and that a pcrfonal abfence revives it. I
fhould conclude that to be a formal attachment
which hath nothing but age for its origin, and is not
fupportcd with repeated renewals of life. Is this
the inward tic that no change can break ? the love
that many waters cannot quench, or the floods of
affliction deftroy ? Surely it is not of that nature
which can endure the fire, and be refined by it ; it is
more like the bafe metal which would rife as the
fcum and be loft, than the folid gold that appears af-
terwards, and is able to endure even the feventh pu-
rification.
3d month 17S1 — I think I have entered into my
d uncftic ftation, with .1 le rfulnefs and f<-.ir
i not without an humble fenfe of the unmeril 1
iurs I received from divine condefcenfion, and
from my friends during the ceflation of it. And
not with (landing many deep trials attend our leaving
he:. under an apprchenfion of duty, and
LETTERS. 317
many painful jealoufies necefTarily arife, left the moft
important of caufes fhould fuffer, yet when we are
in a fettled fatisfaction, or under the cai*es of a fami-
ly, by not being fo frequently put upon a fenfe of
our danger, and of our own unfitnefs to do good
of ourfelves, our minds are apt to lofe their cen-
tre, by getting off the watch, and fo become dif-
fipated and carried away with trifling things ; at
leaft with things fhort of that certain treafure
which is fecured out of the reach of either moth
or ruft ; and then they become to us (however
plaufible to that wifdom which cannot comprehend
the myitery of godlinefs) unfubftantial trifles. Thus
we fee the neceffitv of having; a foundation of our
own ; and we need not that another fhould build
upon us, but by that fame power which directed the
firft ftone, fimilar to what was and is laid in Zion,
tried, elect and precious, whereby we may be built
up in the moft holy faith. I often find it my
duty, ftrictly to fcrutinize into the moving caufe
of my fteppings in various refpects ; and notwith-
standing the greateft abafednefs is my due, on view-
ing my own innumerable frailties, and inability of-
ten to turn my mind availingly to the invincible
fortrefs, even in times of deep probation ; yet if
there was not a fecret teftimony in my heart, that
it is much my lot to know an abftraction from hu-
man dependancies, my feelings would be infur-
portable, becaufe I could not look for that peace
which is preferved from human mixtures and inter--
ruptions.
?3
^8 £ X T R A C T S jrom
4th month 1781 — Weary indeed I have felt my-
fclf of this changeable world for a few days palt :
perhaps it proceeds from too great at) indulgence to
that eye, which is viewing the difcouragcinents of
the prefent day, and which has csufe to run dova
with water, for the (lain of the daughter of Zion.
How are the Aarons removed, and removing, and
fuch as might fcem likely to receive the garments,
have the work cut fhort in rightcoufnefs ! how the
ftandard-bearers faint, and how dotlv the enemy
prevail in his transformations, in deceiving and
drawing down even of the priefthood ! In contem-
plating thefe things, I think I may fay, that I never
felt my mind fimilarly clad with a ftate of fecret
mourning and fackcloth, as fince you left us ; info-
much that I am ready to enquire, who fhall ftand ?
or from whence can the watchers come, that will
faithfully difchargc their truft upon our walls in a
future day ? I am daily convinced of the great need
there is for me frequently to be taken throughout in
pieces, that no comelinefs may remain to felf, nor
manna be preferved from one day to another j
that my own ftatc, and the wildernefs (late of the
church, may be (though not fully yctj clearly
feen.
6th month 1781 — I have, after contending my
ground by inches, ventured to let ou towards a
place which I have often looked at with a kind of
dread and difmay j from an apprchenfion that it
firongly refembles that great city Bibylon, in which
it is hard to be prefcrved from tailing of the cup,
ier in a greater or ! where, if
LETTERS. 319
there even be prefervation from this, deep differing
muft be the confequence ; a ftate not likely for fleflv
and blood readily to enter into. I can truly fay it is
in great fear and abafement of mind, that I advance
towards it ; earneftly defiring to be kept to that
power which difcovereth the hidden things of dark-
r.efs, and {hews us the different fources of felf-love.
nth month 1781 — We are fometimes at a lofs to
account for our own actions, becaufe they proceed
from caufes unfearcbable to us, and which we are
led infenfibiy to comply with for our own good, that
that part in us which is appointed for death, and
which, by means of the flaming fword, is totally fe-
parated from the tree of life, may receive no food
nor vigour to fupport it. Since I faw thee, many
and complicated have been the concerns and feelings
of my mind ; new caufes and new anxieties have oc-
curred, from which I have feen great need to procure
a fecret dwelling in a quiet habitation, and to crave
daily affiftance to abide therein, that my own root
might not be more impoveriihed ; but that by an
inward attention to the voice of the true fhepherd,
a more intimate acquaintance with him might be
cultivated, and a greater fubje&ion of fpirit expe-
rienced ; whereby I ihould be more clothed with
that true humility and pure fimplicity which are
elTential to the caufe of righteouiheis, and necefia-
ry for the prefervation of our minds in a ftate of
acceptance with Him, who fees net as man fees$
but who knows what His wifdom has prohibited to
us, and marks our obedience.
P4
320 EXTRACTS from
How affecting was the removal of our beloved
! Silent aftonifhment, and fecret mourning,
for an individual and general lofs, was all the lan-
guage I could ufe. My heart was indeed affected,
and is not lei's (o in the frefh feeling of a dif-
folved affectionate tie, and of the uncertainty of all
our comforts and attachments, notwithftanding they
may in profpect appear durable; but as we do be-
lieve there is an union which exifts beyond the grave,
a fellowfhip unconfined to thefe mortal bodies, how
ftrong an incentive is it to purchafe this perma-
nent inheritance, though at the expenfe of our
own fervour, and that friendlhip which is conceiv-
ed in the falfe refinements of the human imagina-
tion ; and which being tinctured with the gilded
impurities and dregs of nature, becomes of that
kind which is at enmity with God, becaufe not
fubject to the power of His crofs. To be ftripped
of ourfelves, to be fimple, to be fools in our own
eves, and in the eyes of others, are experiences not
pointed to by our own difpoiitions, but are in-
dilputably the way to that kingdom which flefh
and blood cannot inherit. By yielding to this way,
how humbly may we commemorate that power which
gives according to our advancement, the victory
over a hoft of opposition, and dims that eye in us in
which our enemies are magnified ; giving a holy
confidence that binds up the mind, humbly exalts it
above thefe momentary tilings, and, by meafureably
uniting us to itfelf, enables to difeern the origin of
our feelings, and what proceeds from them, by
tracing them to their (pring, and pro\ing them in.
L E T T E R S. s*k
the Ho-ht. Our experience is fmall, but, I truft we
mutually long for that which is good ; may we
each be, more and more, drawn from every mix-
ture of fclf, and become as a weaned child !
1 2th month 178^ — If I had known your plan of
proceedings, it is likely I mould have met thee
with a few lines fomewhere ; but a morfel of friend-
ly converfe, or a token of true regard, may, per-
haps, be as acceptable now thou art returned to a
more homely fare, and feeling a little more defcent
to fome inferior fervice in the houfe, than was then
allotted. Notwithstanding thofe that viiit the true,
feed in this declining day, feldom find themfelves,
either fecretly or publicly, mounted on the king's-
horie, but rather have to experience a baptifm into
its fufferings, and a fellowfhip therewith ; yet even
in this State, if our minds are kept low enough, and
in a fituation ready to receive and dwell under the
divine allotment, there is a Strength attends it, of
which the moft favoured fervants, we have caufe to
believe, are often ftripped on their return. No won-
der then, if we, who are infants in this fervice, mould
be fuffered to feel ourfelves, as the dry bones in the
open valley. Under this State of humiliation before
Him who knows all things, and who wifely Strips- us
of our judgment, in order to refine it ; how beau-
tiful that reply to the query, " can thefe bones
live ?" thou knowert oh Lord: in this humble Situa-
tion, how ready are we to receive the reiurrection
of life, or to wait for it the appointed time, till all
unprofitable moisture is exhausted, and the feaibns
r 5
EXTRACTS j rom
have paffed over us ! A moft affecting circum-
fiance it is, that a man, and indeed a family, land-
ing in apparent approbation as did, ihonhl
ing fuch dishonour to the caufc, and themfeh
be plunged in fuch deep diftre'/s ! It is, ho a
a proof how we ought, in whatever we do, tj
fix our eye upon the right object, and to prefer
a confiftency with the truth, to our ap in
the eyes of men ; for certainly if this had been
more the engagement of many minds, there would
have been prefervation experienced from many of
:'.. fie painful and dilhonourable circumftant s.
ift month 1782 — My remembrance of thee
wns tenderly affectionate, and a folicitude accom;-
nied it, that wc may live fo near the pure life of
truth, having our minds frequently ftripped of
whatfc:ver is ti./Gurcd with the gilded impurities
of nature, as to ittl an increafe of unity therein.
When I am led to eonfider my own aptnefi to
get from under the power of the crofs, a fear is rea-
dy to enter, that the garments, the coverings of
my mind, which may, in fome fmall degree, have
been wafhed, will again gather their fpots, and I
become mere and more reconciled to them ; fo that
the confequence may be an inability to diftingmfh
betwixt the dean ami the unclean. In this ncn ju-
ry peripective of myfclf, the means of pre fer vation
have, in infinite condefccnlinn, been discovered ;
and a willingncfs frequently to defcend to the
wafhing pool, has proved the requeft of my heart]
' He in whole hand I wifll to feel myfclf, may
not only be the reprover, but the remover of every
LETTERS. 323
oppofer of His work. Discouragements arife from
without, for on every hand there is caufe of mourn-
ing, and the few ftakes that can be perceived a-
mongft us are ready to fail with weaknefs ; where-
fore we fee the greater need, with all the vigilance
we poflefs, to repair to that foundation which ftands
fure ; and truly thofe who are eftablifhed thereon
have engraven upon them that indifputable feal, and
moft deferable evidence, of divine acknowledgment.
Our pilgrimage here feems, and will prove, of fo
fhort duration, that the fufferings which attend it
for our refinement, are bleffings demanding our
humble acknowledgment. I have often reflected
upon your Situation with a fympathy which I truft is
meafurablv of the ri^ht kind : and have felt the
arduoufnefs of your path, the ftability that is re-
quired for it, and patient resignation of the caufe to
Him whole own works alone, or thofe of His own
pure fpirit can praife Him, and effect true and
profitable deliverance to his dependant children.
** What can the wrath and envy of man (if we are
tried with it) do unto thofe that are hid in the fecret
places of the Almighty, and gathered under the
healing wings of the Prince of Peace ? fince bv his
armour of light they fhall be able to ftand in the
dav of trial."
1 2th month 1782 — I place little dependance on
dreams ; they are often a mafs of confufion y but
we art- bound to acknowledge that they fometimes
contain clear intelligent information or caution. I
believe however, it is always fafe to attend to the
hint, " let him that hath a dream tell [it as] a
324 EXTRACTS from
dream," but the pure word fhould be fpoken
more freely, for what is the chaff to the wheat }
Thine was expreflive of a union with thy friend
which is comfortable to her, and from which it is the
fervent defire of my mind we may receive ftrength
and inftruction in the future movements of our
lives ; wherein perhaps, if we are favoured to be of
any fcrvice at all, it may go hand in hand ; but
what are all the emblems of this fellowship to the
thing itfelf ? what are the branches without the Root
that bears them ? I often wilh the great objects in
my eye may be folid and permanent ; that viiionary
and deluiive gratifications may be proved, by being
brought in their infancy to the balance of the
ianctuary •, and that nothing may rehlt the fire in
doing its office upon that which is light, and which
has not been formed and tried in the hand of the
Potter and Purifier of his people ; but watch fuinefs
is our beft retreat, and I find that without it, in
this land as well as in our own, there is continual
danger of being warped afide, and loting our at-
tention to the fecret reproofs and dictates of wit
do.
3d month 1782 — I felt a Satisfaction in hearing
from thee, and finding that the exercifes which had
attended, were productive of that peace which ne-
ver fucceeds our mo\ing out of the line of pure
wifdom, and is therefore an evidence of the
Main r\ approbation ; hat more do we v/ifh
{ .r 1 for if that is 1 \ need when we ha\c
broken the inorfcl of hi .en to our char
i; b enough for us, and the bleffing muft be left to
LETTERS. 325
that bountiful hand, which owns only its own
works. Though poverty was the covering of my
mind on my return home, yet I felt no uneaflnefs
from an apprehcniion of having left thee too foon,
but rather a belief that it was right for thee tq
feel that thou wait ftronger than thou apprehended :
and I now hope, that as thou hail afreih found
the divine ability allotted thee, to be fufficient for
the work of the day, that thou wilt be more devoted
to move alone in future, and become lefs de-
pendant upon reeds ihaken with the wind. It
is an excellent thing fimply to mind our own bufl-
nefs, to attend to the path cut out for us indi-
vidually, and let it be what it may, to be content
therewith ; becaufe it is only by the members of
the body thus keeping their places, that they can
be made truly ufeful to one another, and profperous
in the caufe wherein they are engaged.
3d month 1782 — I can feelingly fyrnpathize with
my dear * friend in her prefent iituation of mind,
and under fome difficulties, which may be encreaf-
ed by the want of feeling, baptized elders, fuch as
live near the fpring of life themfelves, and whofe
deep can call unto the deep in thofe whofe line of
fervice varies from their own. Where there are
fuch as thefe, they are felt to be itakes in the di-
vine enclofure about thofe I call the moft tried of
the flock, the poor mefTengers that blow the trum-
pet on the holy hill, and have to defcend from
thence into the deeps, and awfully to dwell there,
humbled under a fenfe of themfelves and what they
are ; and though in this day of weaknefs, each
326 EXTRACTS from
member does not keep in its own function, but
numbncfs and infenlibility have feized many, let us
truft that our holy Head will not fuffer us nlfo to
become caftaways, if we attend to his direction.
A fecrct dwelling as in deep waters we know
to be fafe ; and, my beloved friend, may we keep
there, crow more and more united to the truth it-
fdf, and iupport one another in the fellowfhip
reof !
9th month 1782 — When an unavailing anxiety
has pofTetTed my mind, about the fituation of things
amongfr. us, and the wildernefs ftate of the church ;
I have been led to conclude that it is not conilftent
1 the divine will, that we mould be ever impa-
tiently enquiring, " what wilt thou do for thy great
name ?" but that we mould rather centre deep in
our own minds, and refigneJly and faithfully co-
operate with his work in the earth ; feeling our
minds fo reduced as only to pray for that which is
the mind of the lpirit, even if it required the petiti-
on, " feed thy people with thy rod !" In our late
vifit, we deeply felt, at times, our weaknefs, and
when moft baptized thereinto, with our eye fingle
to divine help, we hud humbly to obferve,
then His ftrength was manifefr in our weaknefs ;
that it was only as we defended to the fpiritual
brook, and there received with (implicit)* the hea-
venly armour, that the battle was blelTed, our heads
covered therein, and ability found to difcover the
Tittle ones on whom the purifying hand is turn-
ed. 1 btlievc I may fay we returned under the
humbling imprcflion of being unprofitable llrw.nts,
LETTERS. 327
begging to be enabled to continue fuppliants at the
gate of wifdom, and to attend in future to the final}-
eft of its pointings. I need not tell thee how agree-
able it was to meet my hufband at my return home.
On our feparation, the paffage feelingly occurred to,
and refrelhed my mind ; " Lord I have left all to
follow thee." To be employed in the caufe of truth,
and to have the fpirit thereof for my companion,
appeared, when nature was fubordinate, far to fur-
pafs every felfifb. enjoyment in this life, notwith-
ftanding I might prove a veffel of leaft honour in the
family: and on our meeting again, I found there was
need of a renewed engraving of thefe impreffions, in
order to preferve a preference to the truth, and to
keep in our remembrance that we have no continu-
ing city here.
10th month 1782 — It is an unfpeakable favour,
through all, to believe that, if we dwell in the pure
life and onenefs of the truth, many waters without,
or floods of temptation within, will never be able to
quench our love, though for a time, when they rife
high, they may veil it. The prayer of my fpirit is,
that my dwelling may be in this hidden life, that I
may prefer its fubftantial operations to either fpiritu-
al or temporal enjoyments, and that by it my body
and mind may be preferved from running to and fro
in the earth, with any blaft from the wildernefs.
But oh the need of " ftanding ftill in the watch,"
the infirmities of our nature are fo many and great !
Remember me and crave my prefervation, that my
life at leaft may be given me for a prey ; and may
328 EXTRACTS from
you and I farewel, and incrcr.fe in that life and
love which change not, nor end.
1782 — I received thy aflVelionate letter in
due courle : it was truly acceptable ; and though
thou wall far from being forgotten by me, it tended
to revive that near fympathy with thy fecret fpiri-
tual travail, which particularly accompanied my
mind when near thee in perfon, and which I trull
proceeded from the cementing influence of divine
love, and gofpel fellowfhip.
We meet with but few in this pilgrimage and
Hate of probation, who are dipped in fympathy with
us, and know what it is to be deftitute of all comeli-
nefs. There are many who, were we clad in royal appa-
rel, and had the King's fignet always unveiled upon us,
would no doubt acknowledge us in the gate ; and, in
the victory of the heavenly caufe, cry, Ilofanna !
with us in triumph. But what was the path of the
Mailer ? Was it not the path for his fervants, that
they might be encouraged, and have a ftedfaft ex-
ample therein ? He trod it before them, and endur-
ed the fever. d gradations and difpenfations of the
fpiritual warlare ; he Li it d in the wihlcrnefs, till he
was an hungred. Let us not then think it ftrangc
that the fervant is not greater than his Mailer. Our
fafety depends upon our watchful attention, that
when we are tempted we yield not; but oh I how
nenr does the impatience of our difpofirions border
up n that e, " command thefe ftoncs that
they be made bread;" forgetting that it is not by
bread * our hidden life is prefcrved, but by
every word that procccdeth out of the mouth of
LETTERS. 329
God, and by every turning of his divine hand upon
us j whereby, in his wifdom, we grow from ftature
to ftature, which by taking thought for ourfelves we
cannot do. If we are found worthy to ftand as pil-
lars in the Lord's houfe, in this day when there are
many heavy burdens to bear, we muft be fir ft upon
a fure foundation, our difpofkions, like thofe of the
difciples that difcovered the love of their Mafter's
glory on the mount, muft be fubfervient to di-
vine control ; and we muft not only learn to de-
fcend from the vifion of light, but to keep the
charge, and tell it to no man until the life of pow-
er arife. How hewing and forming are thefe things !
and what instructive traces do they leave of the Maf-
ter's work, becaufe they reduce felf, and convince
that no confidence muft be placed therein ! May
it be our experience, dear friend, in the few fuc-
ceeding fteps of our lives, patiently to fuffer, and
fervently to wreftle for the bleffing of preferva-
tion.
1 ft month 1783 — What has felt very defirable to
me is, that in thefe outward feparations, we may en-
creafe in that which is good, and that whatever be-
fals us may tend to fettle us the more in the ground-
work of true religion, that therein we may ftand,
and therein grow •, then will the fluctuations of this
uncertain ftate become fanctined to us, and being
inftructed in the fchool of Chrift, our fpirits and
conduct will become more conformable to the purity
of the Pattern. My fear of myfelf daily encreafes,
and I am alio apt to think that by looking too much
at any evil, we may infenfibiy be almoft drawn into
330 E X T R A C T S from
it. It is nevertheless good to furvey our {landings,
to prove our own infirmities, and repair to the place
of help. The multiplied diftrcflbs, both fpiritual and
temporal, that have been permitted to befal us in this
land, or lince I left my own, have often occafioned
a lecret cry for the continuance of divine preferva-
tion ; and a little ray of hope that the Lord hath not
forfaken us, is all the fuccour that my poor tofled,
mind has often felt. There is great need in time of
outward perplexity, impartially to examine the caufe,
to fearch what there is in us that requires thefe
things ; by fo doing we may often fee couched un-
der them the wifdom of a divine Hand, ami that to
remove the caufe in ourfelves, is to go to the root of
the matter.
I ft month 1783 — I feel new, as at many other
times, my mind drawn into near aftec'tion, and, I
truft I may fay, that true fellowfhip with thee,
which fprings when I am capable of experiencing
any better enjoyment than what is natural ; but as
that only arifes from the renewings of life, I am of-
ten afraid to (peak of it, left it Ihould fall fhort of
its character in the time of trial : however, I may
fay I feel that love which many waters and feafons
of deep and fecret diftrefs, have not quenched nor
diminished. A degree of this mark of difciplefhip
reviving in my mind, has fometimes been as a tem-
porary cordial, tending to difpcl the gloom of many
difcouranements, and opening the view to a little
pure ferene fatisfa&ion. My dear friend, many are
the trials of the enc^y of our peace to overfet us,
many have been the aliauits which I have met with
fince I faw thee, far exceeding what I ever knew be-
LETTERS. 331
fore- If divine help will condefcend to be near, and
prderve me from miking in the pit of discourage-
ment, juift keep my ipirit alive to confide in his
name, and dwell under his power, my heart, I
truft, will bow in humble gratitude before him, and
acknowledge his might. Our eye is now much fix-
ed upon Yorkihire ; oh ! that we may there expe-
rience the evidence of divine acceptance, and that,
in our movements, or not moving at all, the blef-
fing of prefervation may attend us. Outward en-
joyments, domeftic tranquillity, and the affectionate
regard of our friends, are all in themfelves deni-
able objects, but without this bleffing, what are
they ? inlipid, or fruitlefs delights.
1 ft month 1783 — As, (in infinite wifdom no
doubt) our minds are at times drawn into folitude,
fo as to refembie the Pelican in the wildernefs, hav-
ing no accefs to the habitable parts of the earth, nor
fubject to human obfervation, fo it appears confiftent
with godly jealoufy that human coniblation fhould
be forbidden, and that, having our dependance only
on a gracious and merciful Father, who deals with
us as children who require his chaftifing hand, his
rod and his ftafF, we may procure to ourfelves a fafe
foundation, with a quiet habitation thereon, out of
the reach of human interruptions. Surely there are
none fo tried as the poor weak inftruments, that are
ufed for the divine will to be communicated through.
Thefe require not only the forming of the Potter's
hand, but higher degrees of drying, and greater
heat in the furnace to prepare them, than almoft
any other vefTel •, nay (if I may be allowed the com-
332 EXTRACTS from
parifon) they are like difhes that have to pafs thro'
the oven for every fervice, and which, after they
are emptied, and the company has enjoyed them,
need more waihing and care than any other utenfil
at the table ; and great danger there is that, by in-
difcretion of fome fort or other, they will get crack-
ed or broken. I look with dread, I am bowed
down and difmayed, at the fight of the precarious
{landing of fuch, but efpecially of my own : the
conhderation of human weaknefs, and " how frail
I am," is almoft my meat and drink. How excel-
lent is the privilege of having a monitor at home,
an impartial Friend in our bofom, who, if we
enough attend to Him, is able to make us as wife
even as our teachers ! the reproofs and wounds of
this Friend are better than the kiffes of an enemy.
I ft month 1783 — I have now continued about
two weeks longer in this place, and have received
very affectionate kindnefs, and great hofpitality from
my friends. Were there not fomtthing in our
minds that is panting after fupcrior, more exten-
five, and fecret enjoyments, I have thought myfelf
placed amongft the cordials of life : but without
the feafoning virtue of truth, and an evidence
(though evr fo fmall) of divine approbation mark-
ing, or refting upon, our dwelling place, they are
taftelefs and infipid enjoyments. Perhaps I have
deprived myfelf of that which is gOO 1, and am now
too readjr to let others (hare the fame; a difpofi-
tion which I wilh not to cultivate, it being highly
xneonfiftent with the benevolence of the gofpel,
which breathes no Laneu ice inferior to that of,
LETTERS. 333
" dory to God in the higheft, peace on earth
and good will towards men." But how to diitin-
guiih, at times, the grand caufe amongfr. a multi-
plicity of cauies, requires wifdom, undefiled wif-
dom, that the immortal birth may be furrendered
to the breaft and care of its true mother, and that
nothing hurt it, or diminifh its ftrength ; but that,
under all turnings and overturnings, diviiions and
fubdivifions, it may gradually and fteadily grow in
ftature, in wifdom and pure underftanding, and
take to itfelf an everlafting dominion in us. It is
the " deep that calleth unto deep." I thought I
felt, on reading thy laft, fomething of the mind of
truth in reviving a little my drooping fpirits •, a de-
gree of thankfulnefs covered my mind, and I was
encouraged to wait the paffing away of this gloomy
night, in comfortable hope of the dawning of a
better day, wherein the former and the latter rain
may defcend, to add fap to the root, and to refrefh
the branches. What is it in us that flinches fo
much at fuffering ? It muft be that fleih and blood
which can never inherit the kingdom. I have be-
ftowed fome pains to filence it with reafoning, and
arguing the nature of things ; but alas ! I have for-
rowfully found it fed thereby, and perceived that
it is only in humbly abiding under the divine ope-
rations, that fubjeclion is wrought, and the moll
fo, when the caufe was not fully difcovered ; for
then the lowly petition afcends, which at this time
covers my fpirit, Grant me a grain of the precious
gift of faith, that I may live and walk thereby.
334 EXTRACT S from
ift month 1783 — O this root of felf, when will
it be (bbje&ed ! It perhaps appears more to oppofe
thy fervice, but I believe it more fecretly prevails
in me, and is not under that cunt.. 1 and fubord
tioo which thou haft it in more mi: u ite things. But
let ns not neigh onrfelves by one another ; let us
rather bring 1 or Ipirits to the balance of the fano
tuarv, and if t' ere we want chipping and hew ; ng,
not think hard of the inftrumen&s that are to do
it ; but pafliv.lv and patiently endure all things, in
hope to enjoy that little which is our own in the
end, having it pure and fepai Q the
My mind has been drawn into great nearnti
you many times fince we parted. I have feeli
remembered the feal 1 ben, though befet with
many fecret probations, we night fay, We took
fwect counfel, and our fpirits were baptized toge-
ther, and prepared thereby to go op as to the
mountain of the Lord, and to the houl'e ot the
God of Jacob, where He has gracioufly condefcend-
eJ to teach us more and more of his ways, and be-
gott tions in us to walk in Mis paths-.
us not faint, my beloved friends, but wreftle
with Him for the renewal of this bleffing; that
though it may be our lot often to be feparateo\
our fpiril hi iy unite together in lioly fellowfhip,
and th\*: pure love which many waters cannot
irh, nor all the changes of this uncertain ftaic
of 1 vcr diininilh.
6th month '783 — My mind u much with you,
I truil it is in that fcllowfhip which can unite
with the abfent though in futfertogy and breathe for
LETTERS. 335
the profperity of the precious truth. I beg to be
more and more bound to that, let its appearance
amongft men be ever 10 mean and contemptible ; for
it is here that we are not afraid of human wildcm
and difpleafure. But is there not, fometimes, too
much fear of this fort, when under that power,
and the burthen of that word which, if it met with
no obftru&ion in the inftrument, would oftener
break the rocks, and be a conluming fire amongft
the cedars of Lebanon ? May this your feafon of
fuffering be bleffed to you and the church ! and oh !
may your hands be ftrong in the faith, and hold
out to the end in patience, that with the church
coming out of the wilderneis, you may repofe on
the breaft cf the Beloved of fouls, and your caufe
centre with Kim.
7th month 1783 — My beft wifhes accompany thee,
in this ftepping out into the awful fervice of viflt-
ing the few fcattered profeiTors under our name,
and perhaps of unfolding in the frefh openings of
life, further manifeflations of gofpel light to fuch
as are not yet of our fold, particularly in Scotland.
I remember that before we entered the borders of
that land, and indeed whenever I viewed it in pro-
fpec~l, it was clearly imprefled upon my mind, that
there was no track for us to go in, nor any footfteps
to be depended upon in that journey ; but that our
attention would be continually required to the frefh
pointings and qualifications for fervice : and on our
leaving Scotland, we had greatly to lament a devia-
tion from this pure indwelling of fpirit, and unfaith-
fuinefs to fome manifeilations of duty. When the
336 EXTRACTS from
mind, after being engaged in fervice, has got a lit-
tle liberty, and feels itfelf as a bow unftrung, it is
too apt to rejoice, and evade the next bending for
fervice; whereby half our commiffion may be ne-
glected, when we are peculiarly called to watch, to
md to feel every ftep that we take. Here fim-
ity aiul humility are our companions, and if a
pure holy zeal covers us, in a ftate of true depen-
.-, the wifdom of the creature lias no part; but
the life riling into dominion, and being taken for
cur guide in every ftep under the exereile of the gift,
we have no need to be anxious for doctrinal argu-
ments to prove what we affect to the people; be-
caufe this life anfwering the life in thofe that bear,
can expound and unfold inch w as have been
hid from ages ; and it is only by our fingle attention
to the purity of the gift, and tb ; of the word,
that we can be prefcrved in that fimplicity which
confounds the wifdom of the wife, brings to nought
the understanding of the prud nt, and exalts the
I :d of the kingdom. Thus I bend the mi-
rs of t: ire led, not only to teach all
ns whither they are fent, but to baptize them
into the power of the gofpel, however few the num-
ber of their words may be. I feel a ftrong deliie
for your faithfulnefs in this journey, and that as you
pafs through little villag i tnd towns, it m , net be-
without feeling for fervice, for in this refpeel we
were deficient. Look not too much al your own
■'-., but r the ftrength of that almighty
Arm which works marvellouflj thofe that rely
upon it, and gives them faith .1
LETTERS. 337
knov there is fomething in us, when we occafion
many people to be called together, that fears for
ourfelves, and for the truth ; it is well, in thefe
times of trial, to confider our own inability, and in
whom help and power dwells ; for then a calm fome-
times allays thefe anxieties, and fpreads upon our
minds the beauty and convincing influence of a live-
ly, awful, filent worfhip, which ftands in need of
no addition, but which, at times, is accompanied
with words in the demonftration and power of the
fame fpirit.
7th month 1783 — I think I was fcarcely ever fen-
fible of more death and darknefs than fince I came
here : if a little life and light fhould fpring in our
future fittings, it may have fome reviving effects,
for really my fpirits are in a drooping way, and my
ftrength alio. I expected nothing but fuffering on
coming here, and thus far it is my portion ; this fa-
tisfaction, however, attends me, that it is but for a
day or two, and I endeavour to lift up my head a-
bove linking too much ; but oh for the caufe ! the
teftimony of truth feems nearly laid wafte, and the
pure life crucified. Here are, indeed, many vr-
liants, but what can they do ? it is not the fervants
of -then-delves, that can make the dry bones live.
The little ftrength I feel, feems to be in endeavour-
ing after a fettled retirement of mind out of meet-
ings, and being willing to appear foolifh as I am.
7th month 1783 — There is a beautiful order in
the growth of the fpiritual, as well as natural man :
he is at fir ft carried and fondled, and it is then ge-
33* EXTRACTS from
ncrally right to give him what he cries for ; in a lit-
tle time, he makes fome efforts to go by himfclf,
which, fooner or later, moftly prove ctrcc~tual. Prc-
fuming now on his own ability, he all'umes the air
and carriage of a man, and in this confidence goes
forward, till his ftumblings, his falls, and his wounds,
have fuiTicientlv convinced him, that he is but a
child, and that his will is no more to be depended
upon than his ftrength. As it was right to indulge
the iimplicity of his rirft dciires, fo now, thefe be-
coming mixed with evil instigations, either in the
appearance of a friend or an enemy, it becomes ne-
ceflary, in order to prtferve this fimplicity, and the
divine impreffions which may renewedly defcend up-
on it, induftrioufly to repel and guard againft t!ie
powerful influence of felf-love and fclf-feeking,
which is the beginning of our continual warfare. I
at time! thankfully view fome of the exercifes of my
mind, as a probationary childhood, frequently oc -
fioned by indifcretion, and increafed by the growth
of the corrupt will with a growing knowledge in di-
vine things •, lb that I have b xn and am frequently
re.uly to conclude, I (hall one day fall by the hand
of this enemy : but oh ! may we fupport the warfare
which is mercifully begun ! and by depending folcly
on that Ann, which cut Rahab, and wounded the
Dragon, be no ways inftrumcntal ourfelves in pre-
venting a maturity in the pure life, and preaching
by good works. I hope my dear thou continued,
and will continue to feel thy habitation lik.' the houfe
of Obed-cdom. It is indeed dhtant from us ; but of
how little confccpaence is that, -when there ii fellow-
LETTERS. 339
fhip in the circulating life of truth, wherein we are
as epiftles written in one another's hearts, which ar*
meditated in, at times, to the refrefhment of our
fpirits when drooping and feeble. — It is a blefling not
to be lightly efteemed, to be married to thofe of live-
ly fpirits, and clean conduct j not drawing back, but
helping forward, that work to which there is a di-
vine calling : and as is among thofe who are
thus bleiTed, it will, I have no doubt, fweeten ma-
ny unpalatable cups, and render moderate fome
blafts from the wildernefs of this world, and its cor-
rupt fluctuating fpirit.
lit month 1784 — Oh the need there is, when we
feel a fecret divine approbation for fome little faith-
ful ftrvices, as the anfwer of well done, carefully to
centre this treafure, and leave it in the hands of o ir
great benefadtor ! for how unfit are our earthly
hearts to be entrufied with riches fo weighty, and fo
different in their nature ! they are indeed found to
be as bags with holes, which lofe the precious gift a-
mongft the rubbifh of the houfe. Under thefe confi-
derations, I am led at times to prefer poverty, and
nakednefs, and want, to an appearance of wealth, and
fpending my fpiritual fubftance in riotous living : and
to be preferved chafte and faithful in this ftate, is one
of my ftrongeft defires, yet attended, in fome degree,
with the certain knowledge of how frail I am.
ift month 1784 — We have great need, in this
day, for clean-handed, fmgle-eyed inftruments, in
the work of reformation ; fuch as demonftrate, in
the particular parts, and general tenour of their con-
340 EXTRACTS from
duct, that they truly fear God, and hate covetouf-
nefs : for, of fuch only is the pure fpiritual huikling
compofed ; the church, againft: which, Satan and his
agents can never prevail ; whereto the nations may
gather, behold its purity, and be invited to become
living members thereof. But, oh how defiled is our
camp ! how temporizing are the fpirits of thole who
ought to ftand, as valiant foldiers, againft fpiritual
wickednefs in high places, and fight manfully under
the banner of the Lamb ! The world, with its gild-
ed baits, has allured their attention, and attracted
their fight, from the example of our holy pattern '
it is therefore no wonder, if the work they under-
take is fuperficially done •, and that which has been
their fnare, pafi'es unobferved for want of purificati-
on. From a view of thefe things, I have been led
to prefer, and even to requeft tribulation, mortifica-
tion, and what may be called e\il things, in this life*
to an unfubjected mind, being an unfound member
in the church, and Peeking to be heir of two king-
doms. Whether I am thus preferred or not, I be-
lieve that now, as formerly, the lame, the blind,
. ! the dwarfs, will not be accepted to minifl i f
the moft holy thin ;s, and carry forward th of
►ufnefs in the rth, ir appli I n is
uprightly, and humbly nude to Him, who is the
healer of all difeafi , 1 the reftorer oJ nt
paths to walk in.
2 ! month 1784 — Thou haft often been in my re-
membrance fince we I, and both when hoping
'. doubt i;v,T, I have wifhed to addrefs I n this
way, believing it wi 1 is in the capti-
LETTERS. 341
vity of the Jews, for thofe who are uprightly, though
feebly, concerned for the profperity of truth, to
fpeak often one to another ; and the trufting that a
book of remembrance is written, cafts, in ibme de-
prefllng feafons, fomething of a ray of fpiritual fun-
ihine upon the fpirits in prifon •, which, though not
a promiie of freedom, yet cheers a little, and ren-
ders tolerable our unavoidable fituation cf mind.
A multiplicity of concurring circumftances, paft and
in profpec~t, have of late deeply affected me : the fpi-
rit of Goliah rages from every quarter : its power I
feel, the low ftate of the church is evident, and my
own weaknefs ftares me in the face. I would be
glad to dwell in obicurity, and have my name blot-
ted out of remembrance. There are many called
foldiers amongft us, but oh ! how few of fuels as are
loyal to the King of kings, and whofe work is dili-
gently to eftablifh his government j infomuch that
fuch children as I am are ready to conclude, that if
we move at all, our hand muft be againfr. every one,
and every ones hand againft us : for though retire-
ment is what above all things I would choofe for my-
felf, yet if I apprehend myfelf called to fervice at
all, it is the fervent prayer of my fpirit to be pre-
ferved therein from the fear of any man, and from
doing the work deceitfully : neverthelefs, the fecret
feelings of my mind feem to fay unto the feed, that
" bonds await you." May we then pofTefs our fouls
in patience, and not fear in feafons appointed to con-
tend for our faith !
03
342 EXTRACTS from
.d with the gei
. fo much I with
,1 :.:. zx times to conclude, I
cannot hold : -.hout i n this
-..:'. T friends, have your
then do, be you
and naturally, and
tb- 5 be crowned with th.2t life
yed. We have much difloy-
.d fome who
are tu: - take from him an improper
• jle. . let us be lor.
rnler the fpirit of the Lamb,
E weapons
.ough we e? to be
. and have
, 2nd our faith
r that He lives and
- for ever, an.. notwithstanding the com"
ed powers of darknefs, of the encreale of His go-
nail net be an end.
Oui fe is like a journey wherein
ar-; I we find ma-
who fay they are : fame port, and
longer expe-
a we : em, and
we, with
bulated pilgr:
rit, 1 ■ * I '
B*
t •-
LETTERS.
ftraciion, "when our application ought to t :
x ample of our £L . h-
Pri
nth i h : " ? - — I am re:
whether ei :t tell. lam fa 3" ra-
ther more content? ■ ... . thou £nr x
aaihc I I ne ith .
con ; :.- ials a I rtte has done — e : indeed I
think it i : y« when w . trfeives
ering, to look into the nges :" mot . t i
book, and mc fce in the ir !.-.-:
r our "
ana .: " . . ante T„:c
for .
lit : nth i _ 8 • — rh wgh
and other dreamfiances inherent t pecu.
ft dons, may fan H at the cc
ofnatax . .::.;n; yet the p re : re-
ligious anion xmg
of a more prefer : : : - -ver be _.~.-
r bed, as our .: t ts becoa
md «re Ut trar : - . i : : ic-
ings of the mind, as not only to pr .
divine will concen ; - but tc -
its req f. Under this holy : d at-
-.rvatien the or-
n thereof is pe ...
expofed : . continual flu. . and dntnr-
bance. ..--. _:.-.. t from :r ■?•:•_>
' - : line c I . jr's experienc
feme c : Ft . . .
i.4
EXTRACTS from
vine truth, can acknowledge, " we have a ftrong
city " and that" falvation is appointed fur walls and
bulwarks." Oh ! that we may more and more know
our dwellings to be within this holy enclofure ; for
the incorruptible inheritance is no where elfe to be
found, than in knowing the divine will, and doing
it.
i month 1785 — There is a love which I truft is
rs, independent of viiible fign?, and diftinguifhed
by that freedom which the truth gives, whether it
be in fpeaking or in being filent. The fubltance of
true friendfhip is hidden ; and it is not of a corrup-
• lie nature, if we keep it in its right foil. Though
its branches are often cut down by the good Huf-
bandman, yet the ftump is faftcned, like that we
read of, with a band of iron and brafs in the tender
graf> of the field j and when we renewedly experience
that the Moft High rcigneth, it puts forth again,
and excellent dignity is added unto it. I feci as I
write an affectionate nearnefs to you, and oh ! may
we all fo dwell under the dew of heaven, and the
times and difpenfations appointed to pafs over \is %
as that the joy of the Lord may fully become our
ftrength !
8th month 1785 — Perhaps this may find thee in
{bme defolate plac, where my fpirit falutes thee in
• reneweJ I g of fympathetic affection, and
comfortable hope that, through the multiplied trials
of thy day, and of I lent journey, thou wilt be
fecret 1 of On nip tence, :md
refrelhed after many weary fteps, wi*h the Areauns
of drvinc 1 1] I mil be able
LETTERS. 345
to do all things, through Him that ilrengtheneth
thee.
My mind is much with thee and thy valuable com-
panions, and fometimes I think I feel a fellowfhip in
fome of your fufferings, not doubting but a meafure
of them is mingled in the cup of your prefent fer-
vice : and why mould it not be lb, when we confi-
der the tribulated path of the great Matter, and that
it is enoush for the fervant to be as his Mafrer, and
O
the difciple as his Lord. The wife purpofes of the
great Potter are not always feen •, there are many
things in the procefs of forming the clay, or a peo<-
ple to His praife, the neceflity whereof is not always
manifeft to thofe that ftand by ; and I have thought
that in the line you are, have been, or may be led
in, fome amongft you may find openings to fervices,
which not being found in the pages of paft experience,
may occahon doubts and difmay, and perhaps a pro-
fitable query, hath the Lord done this ? yet it is al-
io profitable to remember, that it is not for the in-
ftrumcnt to fay to him that ufeth it, " what doeft
thou ?" I do not wonder at your feelings in being
io Separated in perfon from the vilible church. I re-
member, though in a lefs degree, fimilar impreffions
which have never left me ; and indeed my mind is
comforted in finding an encreaiing attachment to, and
value for the precious fellowship of the brotherhood,
though it is not always found in an entire Similarity
of profpects, and of ways and means of profecuting
good, fo much as in an uniform, upright concern
for the prosperity of the caufe, which under the iha-
0.5
?4 <J EXTRACTS jrom
dow of heavenly inftrucTion, is one of the beft ce-
ments that fellow travellers can experience. We
fhould be glad, in our paiTing along, to find mere
of it ; and were this united engagement to appear
in an honeft fearch into the real ftate of indivi-
duals, of families, and of meetings, feme of jcr : -
cho's walls might fall in the conteft, and people's
attention get turned to defolated Jerufulem. But
it is a land of mills and fogs, yea, in feme places,
of clouds and of thick darknefs : may that over-n; ing
power which lias its v/ays in the deeps, dilpcl
thefe temporary things, and ufher in a greater dil-
p!ay of pure light, that they who arc engaged to
work, and arc appointed for it, may work in the
light, and fully approve themfelves children thereof.
iith month 1785 — 1 feel for , and wifh
her an increafe of faith, or a more free excrcife of
that which ihe has, that fo, it may fully be accom-
panied with fuch works as the great Father of the
family has afhgned her •, perhaps both fhc and I
would fare better, did we look more inward and
lefs outward in our reflccVions upon ourfelvcs, and
for every future fupply of wifdom and ftrength.
It is Purely a wonderful attainment to live by faith j
it i.i deep beyond human penetration, and feems to
comprehend all that is needful for a follower of
Chrift to experience : but the trial of it remains to
he more precious than that of gold, and prcfr-ibiC
to the beft of our faculties that we can fubftitn'e
for it. Foor flic has often felt near to my
life. It is the poor th.it can mo ft feelingly falutc
the poor, aid dip with them in their afflictions ;
L E T T E R S. 347
go with them to the houfe of mourning ; and,
when the holy anointing is poured forth, rejoice to-
gether in hope.
I ft month 1786 — I hope that county is by this
time profitably vifited, or rather the feed therein,
a place where I once thought it was the hardeft to
find (however in myfelf) of any I was ever in.
But places and perfons alter •, and where death
molt reigned, perhaps life may now moft eminently
abound ; and life is never more acceptable than
when it fucceeds a total death, nor light, than
when it fprings out of the greateft obfcurity.
To dwell with that which teaches to die daily, and
to be preferved from the fleep of carnal death, is
an attainment I fometimes covet •, but fieih and
blood had rather be fuftained with a little of yefter-
dny's manna, and retain a former evidence of
life, than undergo, from day to day, in religious
fervices, the conflicting exercife of being buried in
baptiftii, though it is bleffed with the refurrection
of divine virtue and power : and the reafon I ap-
prehend is, becaufe no fiefh can glory herein , it
therefore oppoles this work, and the refitting of
this oppofition with the little ftrength we have,
truly occasions a continual warfare to the chriftian
traveller. The prefent is a fcene of conflict
and probation ; but when we are ftrengthened to
look over it, to that glorious habitation, whofe
w r alls are falvation, whofe gates are praife, and
whole inhabitants no more fay they are fick ; there
is Something fo animating in the profpcct., that Ave
are willing to endure all things to attain it. Let us
3^3 E X T R A C T S from
then take courage in hope, and faithfully endeavour
to Jo our prefent beft.
4tli month 1786 — We have often converfed
about friends in Ireland, and felt the glow of true
love therein ; which, tho' not much cxpreficd
to themfelves, is yet a living fpark in all our
brcafb, which many waters cannot quench ; nor
will long feparation be able to erafe thofe epiftlej
which are written by the finger thereof, and in
which there is a liberty fometimes allowed for the
fpirit to meditr.t:, with a degree of (lengthening
confolation, efpecially when, by the clearnefs of
the charactcis, we find one another as fellow pil-
grims, travelling after the refurrection of pure
life, and making fteady advances towards that city
which hath foundations. Upon this object I
fometimes fix my eye, with renewed resolutions,
thro' holy help, to prefs forward thro' the diffi-
culties of the prefent fcene, and to count all tilings
but as drofs and dung that I may win Chrift, and
be found in him ; not having on my own righteouk
nefs, but the righteoufnefs of faith in Chrifr, that
thereby I may attain the rcfurrcc~tion of His
power, the fcllowlhip of His fulTerings, and be
made conformable to His death. The fpirit is
willing thus to endure, but the flcfh and its inhe-
rent propenfity to cafe, creates a warfare, wherein
I fometimes fear, the natural and beft life will en-
tirely fall.
5th month 1786 — We are fometimes like' pil-
grims whofe faith and patience arc at a low ebb ;
1 were it not for the gracious condcfccnfion of
LETTER S. 349
Him who regardeth even the fparrows, and whofe
arm of everlafting ftrength is underneath in feafons
of drooping and difmay, we fhould be ready at
times to faint ; but it is the renewings of holy help
that become ftrength in weaknefs to thofe that
put their truft in it •, and is a prefent fufficiency
when we are not able to provide for ourfelves.
"May thou be fully grounded in this truft, that
thereby, in times of difcouragement and fifting,
thy ftabihty may endure, and thy experience en-
creafe in the knowledge that all things work to-
gether for good, to thofe that truly love the ap-
pearances or manifeftations of the divine Will. I
believe thou knoweft that I dearly love thee, and,
I may add, have felt iweet unity with thy fpirit j
and therefore hope ever freely to pour into thy
mind any little hints which may in that love re-
vive towards thee. And now, as thou haft put
thy hand to a good work, let me fay, look not
back ; and when the certainty of thy being
rightly anointed for it is withdrawn, which is no
uncommon trial, look not then to the fentiments
of others for fupport and encouragement ; but la-
bour after true quietude and patience of foul,
whereby thou mayeft, with comfortable affurance,
in the right time, have thy head raifed in hope,
and thy growth in religious experiences be lefs
fuperikial, than I fear is often the cafe even with
thofe who have been put forth by the heavenly
fiiepherd. There :s no confolation, no confidence,
wifdom, or ftrength, like that which proceeds
from the deep and hidden fpring, whereunto we
35© EXTRACTS from
muft learn to dig, if ever we are rightly grounded
in the work of fancYification : and as the divine
will is our fancYification, if we obey it ; be not
<flack in furrendcring thyfelf thereto. I write not
thefc things from an appreheniion that thou needs
them more than others, for my fentiments of thee
are very different j but I wifh thee to fet out inde-
pendent of any inftrumental help, except that
which is fent from the fountain of purity ; and to
look to no example further than it is confident
with the holy pattern.
7th month 1786 — I remember it is (aid, that
even " when the fons of God met together, Satan
came alfo amongfl: them ;" fo that if he did fo
again, it was no new thing ; and we are inftrulted
by the angel how to deal even with him ; net to
bring a railing accufation, but patiently, and with
chriftian fortitude, to commit the great caufe to
that power which can protecf it, and rebuke the
adveriary, but not in our way, and in our time ;
for it is in general mo ft, eminently difplayed when
the creature is reduced, and nothing left in us that
can boaftingly exult even over Satan himfelf. To
behave ourfdves wifely in the church, humbly and
watchfully to fear meddling with things too high
for us, things into which our minds are not rencw-
edly baptized, is a can. which 1 «rrfh we may ever
rye J tor herein a g^dly ji . over ourfc ives
and our own fpirits, will In.;- itre us in that
lenefs fur which the pal judgement
are appointed, will gtv< -f what is
oppolition to the truth, and , and how
LETTERS. 3^1
to ufe the armour of light •, which, when rightly put
on in meetings for dii'cipline, unfolds the Simplicity
■of truth, and difcovers the pure dilmterefted foun-
dation of thofe who are engaged to contend for the
faith. It is becoming the nobility of the caufe of
righteoufnefs, to fee its warriors fo unfeeling of
perfonal opposition, as to return good for evil, and
patiently to endure all things, feeking an opportu-
nity to blefs, by candidly opening each others un-
derstandings, and then generoufiy forgiving. There
is no doubt, but that, in our fociety, if the root
and ground of chriftian difcipline in ourfelves were
attained to, and abode with, meetings for the pro-
mulgation of it in the ^general, would be more
owned by their members being baptised by one fpi-
rit into one body, and more crowned with that life
which is peculiarly in referve for thofe, who have
been faithful to the death of the crofs in them-
felves. I am often humblingly convinced, that
whatever I do in the facred offices of the church,
if it be the fruit of Speculation, a lively imagina-
tion, or only a defire to render myfelf ufeful, how-
ever Suitable it m3y feem, yet not proceeding from
fome little influence of the holy anointing, which
lets me fee myfelf with others, it is fure to leave
a painful corroding fenfe upon my own mind, which
I am afraid I have Sometimes charged others with
being the caufe of, rather than myfelf. Thus dan-
ger appears on every hand, except we are watch-
ful and humble ; but " the humble the Lord teach-
eth of his ways, and the meek he guides in the paths
352 EXTRACTS irom
of judgment : " thy gentlenefs (laid David) hath
made me great."
8th month 1786 — I lee abundant occafion to watch
the fpring in myl'elf from whence my rejoicings and
deprellions come. Selt is a iubtil enemy, infinu-
ating itfelf into the company of the purelt inten-
tions, and approved ferviccs, claiming a fhare of
their peace, and of the fpoil of the moil righte-
ous victories over every enemy but itfelf. A fur-
nace, however, is wifely prepared for gold, where
this drofs difcovers itfelf by feparation ; fo that if
we are zealous enough to get rid of it, we muft fre-
quently retire to the teft, fubmit to whatever de-
gree of purification the great Refiner fees meet,
and cheerfully endure hardnefs under His gracious
protecting power ; for, according to my experience,
I take this redemption of the pure life from all
felf-feekings, to require the clofeft combat, and
moft intrepid pcrfeverance of a chriftian, in order
to gain accefs to that river which makes glad the
city of God, and to inherit the promifes of the
gofpel in their own purity ; where the edge of ma-
ny forrows and trials is blunted, when they have
nothing to ftrike at but holy humility. O 'tis a
blefled experience which my foul fervently craves !
I fometimes think I gain a little ground towards it,
when a difcovery of its animating glory, fubllantial
feeding, and impregnable defence, is made to my
undcrftanding ; but, on finding how little capacity
I have.- to receive things genuinely divine, the ac-
knowledgment is readily made, th.it 1 know nothing
as I ought to know, which i:> only attuned by
LETTERS. 353
an experimental growth and eftabliihment there-
in ; and yet fhort of this I fometimes defire to find
no reft.
loth month 1786 — Experience teaches us, that it
is not always we are capable of even enjoying that
good and profitable communion which, by virtue of
the key of David, is fometimes opened for our pre-
fent refrefhment and encouragement, in our path of
deep proving and frequent difmay ; much lefs of fo
refting in it, as always to be ready for the expreffion
of thofe things which are not at our command. I
conclude thou knoweft that has been fome-
time in a low deprefTed fituation of mind, but her
company had a favour in it, of which fhe herfelf
was not fenfible, as is generally the cafe with thofe
who are under the moft unmixed difpenfations of
purifying virtue. That ftate wherein all fenfe of
comelinefs is taken away, and under which we are
clothed, as the prophet' Daniel thought himfelf,
with corruption, is that which appears to me the
moft acceptable, and no doubt is the beft prepared
to receive the language of, " arife, thou art greatly
beloved of the Lord ■" the chaftening of thefe hav-
ing been feen, and their many mournings heard, by
the gracious ear of the Lord of Sabaoth. How diffe-
rent would things be amongft us as a people, if all
thofe who wiih to be confidered as under the divine
forming hand, and who are ready to flep into fervice,
were but enough emptied, and their beauty ftained
in their own eyes ! many fpacious buildings on a
fandy foundation would then be thrown down, and
there would be more exercife and care in fearch of
354 EXTRACTS irom
the immoveable Rock of ages, which really in many
places feems grievoufly neglected. My profped'ts arc
often mournful when I look at mvfelf, there weak-
nefs and inexperience in fome neceffary refinements
are lorrowfully manifeft ; and on taking a view of
the ftatc of the villble church, we fee many of its
members fo difeafed that they cannot perform their
allotted functions, nor edify the body, though they
retain their places there : the redeemed funclified
church how fmall ! and in what a wildernefs itate !
So that to look at ourfelves, at the degenerate, or at
the preferved church, minifters c'ifcouragement, and
fhews us the neceffity of turning our attention ano-
ther way ; inward, inftcad of outward, and there
waiting for the renewings of that power by which
the worlds were made, and receiving fupplies for
fpiritual wants at the firft almighty Hand.
ift month 1787 — Your joint affccTionate falutation
came duly to my hands, and with the fympathy ex-
preffed in it, afforded me a little of that confolation
which the drooping mind fometimes longs to par-
take of, when meditating on its own weaknefs and
unworthiutfs of the renewed proofs of friendly re-
gard and chriftian fellowfhip. It is pleafant indeed
for brethren to dwell together in unity ; and O that
in order to retain this mark of difciplefhip, our eye
may be fingle ! for this leads to a communion frill
more excellent and pure, than that which we enjoy
with each other in this mixed (fate of thin;", 1 vn a
communion with the light which difcovcrs all things,
anil is the life of thofe that believe in it. Yes I do
know your path, and that it is a tribuluted one : may
LETTERS. 355
you run your race therein with patience •, for "tribu-
lation worketh patience, patience experience, and
experience hope, and hope maketh not afhamed, be-
caufe the love of God, (and not of ourfelves) is ihed
abroad in our hearts." Here is a foundation, which
the gates of hell cannot prevail againft, and which,
as we keep to it, will preferve us from being foon
fhaken in mind, or troubled with thcie changeable
things which in the courfe of our pilgrimage may be-
fal us. I hope you will continue to keep in your re-
membrance a poor little fitter, befet with many dif-
couragements, and fifted with many fears and doubt-
ings, particularly refpedting our future movements ♦,
for I endeavour what I can to leave the things that
are behind.
4th month 1787 — Your company was pleafant t©
us, and the remembrance of you is fo, and I truft
will continue as long as the fincere engagement of
©ur minds is to be branches in the fame Vine.
Though, feparately and unitedly, we may experience
the chilling blafts of winter, and feel the dryneis and
dripped nefs peculiar to that feafon ; yet learning in
the fchool of Chrift, in every ftate to be content, and
perceiving with encreafing clearncfs, where the fap
remains, we can rejoice therein, and falute each
other in true poverty of fpirit.
4th month 1787 — I received a kind encouraging
letter from thee fome months ago, when, with ma-
ny others, I was about the remains of our dear friend
. We had been paying, for a few days be-
fore, the laft office of friendship to him, and were
witnefTes to the awful conflicts of his fpirit, in ftrug-
35<5 EXTRACT S from
gling, after many years difobedience to the openings
of truth, for that eternal peace for which his foul
was poured forth like water, and his bones feemed
out of joint ; but divine companion was near, through
the efficacy of renewed vilitation, to gather into the
heavenly garner. The feafon was altogether fo
deeply affecling to my mind, which was low and de-
prefied when I went, and I got fo involved in the
gloomy pafTages of death through which he had paf-
fed, that it feemed as if many circumftances attending
my continuance in mutability, were Ion: in the pro-
fpedt of that folemn period wherein mortality muft
be put off. But on reading that part of thy letter
wherein thou fayed, that in thy late illnefs, thy hope
was abundantly confirmed in the inviiihle power of
an endlefs life, I was favoured with a little glimpfe
of the faints inheritance, which, at times, has re-
vived ever fince, as a cordial to my mind : for in the
courfe of divine wifdom, the hand of affliction, and
deep fpiritual probation, has lain rteadily upon me
for many months. Thou wouldft hear of an illnefs
I had at Sheffield, which occafioned my dear huf-
band's hafty return. My dwelling, for fome time,
feemed to be at the gates of death both fpiritually
and naturally; being in that ftate wherein I could
fay with the fpoufe, that " I fought him whom my
foul loveth, yea I fought him upon my bed, and
found him not," yet this inviiible Arm being under-
i.eath, was gracioufly revealed in an acceptable time,
when, through fore tribulation, a refigned frame of
mind became more my experience*
LETTERS. 357
5th month 1787 — If the right thing does but pre-
vail in the approaching folemnity, it may be a time
of healing. Thofe whofe fpiritual faculties are alive
in the truth, can hardly fail of beginning to feel an
exercife on that account •, and no doubt it is neceffa-
ry that it mould be fo, in order to prepare and re-
duce the minds of friends to a ftate of child-like fim-
plicity, and that abafednefs of felf, which endureth
all things, hath nothing to lofe, and therefore, with
chriftian firmnefs, rejoiceth in that tribulation, by
which the pure lowly feed of the kingdom triumphs
in overcoming evil by that which is good. Thou
and others have had to drink many bitter cups in
that place •, and it may be that, through patient per-
feverance in well-doing, in fecret fuffering with the
feed, maintaining the faith in that power through
which miracles are ftili wrought, the day is approach-
ing, wherein that life which is the light of men
may become more confpicuoufly the crown and dia-
dem of our afTemblies, and of the fervices performed
in the church.
5th month 1787 — I received thy letter, and was
pleafed to hear from thee, though the account of
thy health, &c. was not fo favourable as might be
wiihed •, but I hope that after thou got fet off from
home, and became reiigned to what had fometiine
appeared right, thou would revive both in body and
mind. I have frequently known it to be the cafe
with myfelf, having been often worft juft before let-
ting out, when the mind was depreiTed with the
weight of future engagements, and loaded with the
i'cnk of its own exceeding great weakneis, and ina-
351 EXTRACTS from
bility to do any good ; and at the fame time, having
the comfortable enjoyment of divine help veiled till
the needful feafon. This experience was never
more confirmed to me than in the prcfent journey
nor the Efficiency of that arm, which remains to
be mighty to lave, is ftrength in our weaknefs,
and a prefent helper in the needful time. II we
are but favoured in our future fteppings, to encreafe
in this experience, our trials which are in the way
to it will not be too heavy, in comparifon of that pure
confolation which they produce : and as we are endea-
vouring all of us I hope) to move forward in a line
of fimplicity and faithfulnefs to what we apprehend is
right, don't let us add to our difficulties] by admit-
ting carnal reafoningS, and taking too much thought
l>.i to morrow ; but rather labour after that great
attainment of living one day at once*
6th month 1787 — You will fee by the foregoing,
that we are arrived at the intended place of our
abode, and have ventured to afk at laft for a recom-
mendation from our friends of the monthly meeting.
I truft it is with diffidence, and the humbling i'enfe
that we are liable to err, thai we take this ftep ; and
j et, as it appears in the way to peace, it is no doubt
fifed to take it, and alio moft confident with good
order. We with not to get from under that dif-
pofition which, in the I iturely weaknefs,
4< feareth always," lefl th fubtle, transforming ene-
my (hould !k uile us, induce t" eat of that which is
n'> 1 and beget a confidence hi our own ftrenrth
an y t" preferve ouiicives. A felf-righte-
ous fplrir :.-; greatly to be dreaded ; and though a
LETTERS. 359
itate of doubting and difcouragement is attended
with many more forrows, yet if the faith remains un-
fhaken, it is at times refreshed with that precious
dew, and the fpringing up of that well of life, which
make amends for all, fecretly replenish the droop-
ing, yet waiting mind, and encourage it to prefs for-
ward in the way which the vulture's eye hath not
feen, nor any natural flercenefs ever trod therein.
"Well ! I truft fo much we may fay, that our mind?,
iince leaving England, have been bowed in contriti-
on before him who fees in fecret, and fettled, fome-
times, in a quiet dependance upon his almighty
Arm, rather defiring to be fuftained in obfcurity,
than to be accounted any thing amongft men.
8th month 1787 — Your joint falutation was truly
acceptable ; for though our love was not lelTened,
yet the fenfible feeling of it, on reading your letter,
was comforting to us, and ltrengthened the defire,
that neither heights nor depths, things preient nor
things to come, may ever be able to feparate us, ei-
ther from the love of the great Shepherd, or from any
of his faithful flock; of which number, may we, be-
loved friends, approve ourfelves in all humility and
godly care, enduring hardnefs as good foldiers of
Jefus Crarift, and not in our wills entangling our-
felves with the affairs of this life ; but feeking above
all things to pleale Him who hath mercifully called
us into the fpiritual warfare. Ah poor in-
deed ! any thing that denotes the entrance of the
wolf, fcems to touch my tendereft feelings ; becaufe
that little part of the great Shepherd's flock has been
peculiarly vifited, and their welfare the object of my
360 EXTRACTS from
frequent and fervent folicitude. Oh what need there
is of watchfulnefs ! truly the wolf cometh to tear
and deftroy, though, in order to deceive, he may
put on the fhecp's clothing : fo that nothing but the
true light can difcovcr the hidden things of his dif-
honefty. T have had caufe to fay, fince leaving ,
my native country, that the divine hand is full of
bleffings, and that our real comforts depend not
io much upon outward circumftances, as on that
holy attractive influence, which at times gracioufly
Opens a pail age for the humbled mind, cut of the
cumbers and difcouragements of the prefent time,
into a ftate refembling the grc< n p -urcs of life,
and enables to lie down in quiet n ion as betide
the it ill watrrs; leaving future events, when we
hav< done our heft, to that power which can turn
the wildernefs into a fruitful field, and caufe the
fruitfi : e counted for a foreft. When this
good is mercifully near, and we are fin Mind with
the common comforts of life, there ought to he a
grat<hil acknowledgement thereof, :\s wrell as obe-
dient returns.
8th month 17B7 — Thy brotherly falutation con-
firms! a hope I had entertained, that there lived in
both our mind huh a degr coftruelove, thai wh -
ther we thus converfed together, or not, we Ihould
clefs be favoured t" ne another in our
refpec"tive lots, and experience the truth <>f that fay-
ing, " deep Uttereth unto d< •p." My dwelling, in
much in twilight, that niedi-
ion fuited me better than action, and the incrcafc
of my acquaintance with the everlafting Friend,
LETTERS. tfi
5'
whofe name is Wonderful, and whofe works are
inconceivably fo to the natural mind, has feemed
an enjoyment of the very eflence of all friend-
fhip. In feafons of awful retirement, fince I
came this time to this land, my fpirit has faluted
the few fathers, the brethren and fillers, yea, and
the inftructors too, whofe counfel is the counfel of
truth, and whofe joy is in its profperity : and O !
that my fteppings amongft you, may be fuch as to
bring no difhonour, nor be the occafion of {rum-
bling to any ! I wiih to be the companion of fuch
as faithfully and fecretly labour for the encreafing
prevalence of gofpel power ; that fo, through its
purifying and fanctifying operations, every work
may be wrought, and become an object of the
bleffing which makes truly rich. Tribulations are
undoubtedly the lot of all, who are feeking to fol-
low their Lord and Mafter in the Regeneration ;
but He who knows what they itand in need of, in
His own due and appointed time, reveals to them
His confolations, if they are willing to dive deep
enough for them ; for thou knoweft it is in the
deeps that wonders are feen, and pearls procured.
If I knew how to put into words, the variety of
my fentiments and feelings fince coming to Clon-
mel, the freedom I feel with thee rather urges me
to it ; but fomeway or other, they feem enveloped
in an undefigned fecrecy, and whenever I attempt
to unfold, there is a hidden reftraint, like the
turning of a double lock, and a wile and gracious
intimation, to keep in my tent. The Lord is the
R
3^2 EXTRACTS from
tent of Jacob. How dclirable is it then to be of
the wielding feed, the Jews inward, M of the
circumcifion that worfhip God in ipirit, rejoice in
(Thrift Jeius, and have no confidence in the flefh :"
lor theie, knowing in whom they have believed,
have the refuge of the righteous to ilee to ; and
being thus exercifed and favoured, no matter how
little and fimple fuch appear, how much they feel
their own weaknefs, nor how proftrate they lie at
the feet of their Mailer, where, with reverent
attention His gracious words are heard and re-
ceived.
I have often feared that, for want of faith
enough herein, and a patient waiting in the abate-
ment of (elf, for the renewed revelation of the di-
vine will, the carrying forward of the Lord's work,
both in individuals, in the vilible church, and in
the earth in general, fhould be retarded ; and
thoie defi'jncd to be the iriftruments thereof
fhould forbear to follow the Land) through fuffer-
ing, and to fight under His banner, fhould lofe
that hope which maketh not afhamed (becaufe the
love of God is died abroad in the bean) and rail
away their fhield, as thou h it had not been
anointed. Well ! may we profit by thefe considera-
tions; and looking forward beyond the thin
that are feen which are temporal, to the tilings
thai are not fcen which are eternal, hold fall our
faith, and the pTOfcffion of it without waverin ,
eing that he is faithful who hath mercifully call-
ed us.
LETTERS. 363
I obferve thv confignment of a few lovely plants
to my care ; but hoping and believing that they are
divinely cared for, and are already taught where
to feck their own bread, I feel particularly cauti-
ous of being the means of drawing their attention
to any fource of comfort or inftruclion, inferior to
that which has been opened in the fecret of their
own fouls. I wifh them to be more and more ac-
quainted with, and fingly to rejoice in, the voice
of their beloved ; and I know this is all thou covets
for them. But Ave muft both allow, that vifited
minds are fometimes in danger of feizing and reft-
ing in fecondary confolations, by placing an undue
dependance upon the inftrument of their good,
and being thus prevented from getting down to
thofe nether fprings, where, with pure and humble
rejoicing, the fpirit draweth water, and no flefh.
glories. I do not mean that thefe dear girls are in
any danger of being too much attached to me ; be-
caufe they have neither occalion to be fo, nor are
fo unwife ; but though I love them, and have ap-
prehended myfelf conftrained to demonftrate it,
yet my own ftate generally feels an object of the
companion and fympathy of the feebleit traveller
Zion-wards ; and this confcioufnefs makes me keep
much at home, and moftly in my chamber, where
the fweet fociety of my beloved Robert Grubb, and
our truly valuable , fends back, now and
then, a rifing figh, and urges me to number my
bleffings ; letting before me the comfortable expe-
rience of the Apoftle, which I am zealoufly preflf-
Ra
3^4 EXTRACTS from
ing after, that of learning " in all ftates to be con-
tent." We have been favoured with many epifto-
lary \ iiits from our friends in England] winch are
not unlike little brooks by the way •, but ah, we
may fit by them till they dry up ! however, comforts
they are in their proper places.
9th month 1787 — Every blcffing is at the difpo-
fal of unerring wifdom •, and our true enjoyments
are generally proportioned to the refignation our
minds attain, to furrender whatever we poffefs to
the turnings of the divine hand •, counting nothing
truly good but what is purified by it. This is a
ftate which fweetens the bittereft cups ; and fees
beyond the tranfient gratifications of a worldly fu-
pcrficial fpirit ; and is only arrived at by a fingle
attention to, and humble waiting and dependance
upon, the fecrct monitions of the fpirit of truth.
— Pleafant profpedls, or enjoyments of any kind,
are often much veiled from my view, or fhaded
with a gloom, which the fallacy of human judg-
ment, and the futility of all natural gratifications,
cafe upon the moft lively and lawful ides : having,
therefore, fixed our eve upon one glorious object,
() may it be pidcrvcJ fingle to the end of the
race! that our running being with patience,
the Heps we take attended with light at the li-
nifhing of the work alfigned us, we may then be
indifputably convinced, that having had no conti-
nuing city here, we have found one which hath
i')\ 'IS.
Oth month 1787 — As the prefent fcene is, con-
fident with the nature of things, chequered with a
LETTERS. 365
variety of circumftances and feelings, we muft en-
deavour after that fortification of fpirit, which fo
endures all things as to profit by them, and render
ourfelves objecls of the care of the great Shepherd.
Juft to arrive at an attainment of this kind, is nearly
all our drooping minds are led to defire, without any
extraordinary exertions for enjoyments out of the line
of divine appointment. I feem, at times, more and
more encompaffed with doubts and fears ; faith is
often deeply tried, and iiich depreffions for a little
while come over me, that confcious of having ven-
tured, at the call, to walk as on the lea, and the
fupporting evidence withdrawn, my fecret cry re-
fcmbies poor Peter's when he faid, " lave Lord
or I perifh." Nothing fhort of divine compani-
on, and the renewed extenfion of holy help, can
ftrengthen us to prefs forward with acceptance
through the few fucceeding probations of our day,
and open in us that eye of faith which, looking be-
yond them all, brightens at the glory that mall be
revealed unto thofe, whofe garments have been
wafhed and made white by the fpirit and power of
the Lamb. There is fomething in us fo prone to fet-
tle down at eafe in profperity, that without fome
fatherly chaftiiements, we might forget from whom
we receive our fpiritual and temporal bleffings.
10th month 1787 — My mind, on returning and
fince, was favoured with a fecret humble truft that
I was not out of the way of my duty, in accom-
panying to Ennifcortny and Carlow, nor in leaving
you at the latter place •, though my ftay afterwards
R3
]'. K T R A C T S from
in Waterford was not unaccompanied with that
•rtiiicai lercin i i can glory, and which
was, no doubt, in difpenfed to us, to keep tl e
poor veffel in fuch a d< of fanctification and ho-
nour, as to be at all lit forufe in the fpiritual family.
1 conclude that I need marc of this kind of difpen-
f.. tions than others, becaufe I think more of them
falls to my lot, which proves there is more to mor-
tify. But though I often imagine myfclf ready
to faint, yet my fervent prayer is that I may not
utterly ; but rather be ftrengthened to endure the
croCs, and defpife the fhame cf creaturely abafc-
ment, looking to the Author of all true faith,
for fuch I fupplies as to fteer fafely through
tl is uncertain ftate of being, and for ability, in
the due and appointed time, to finifh the wifely
allotted portion of work, in reverent dependence
that that which is right, and abundantly more than
v.e deferve, will be mercifully recompenfed. In the
Service wherein thou art now engaged, I truft help
will not fail of being afforded in the needful time,
lb as to give you all abundant caufe humbly to
ack , in th .• up of your vilit, that
ve have lacked n . Perhaps the line of
vour proc Qg, as to palling from place to place,
is right j but foi y mind follows you with
a fort of re ret. tl ore time was not allowed
i . have irifii , if truth A the way, the
f milie of friends in the Ration oi ters and
ciders. There is much truth in a i
that the work whi< h is well done, is twice dor
and thougl iy be I urtify-
LETTERS. 367
ing and arduous part of the fervice, yet the necef-
fity and propriety of it being great, the peace relult-
ing from faithful labour therein, would no doubt
have been proportioned. But this feems like an un-
feafonable bint, and I don't know any ufe there may
be in dropping it, except by way of preface to an
obfervation I was about to make, that friends upon
religious viiits often appear to be cramped in their
palling along, from a fort of human prudence
which dictates their making a long firing of ap-
pointments, perhaps exceeding what is perceived
by the eye of faith : thus they may be prevented
from approving themfelves thofe fimple, humble
followers of the great Mafter, which in the fince-
rity of their own hearts they have earneftly defired
to be. Whether this proceeds from the want of
faith in individuals, or the undifcerned influence of
general cuftom, I know not, but certainly it is a
fafe and hidden path which the chriftian traveller
walks in, when, in no refpeft, he defires to take
the lead, but relignedly gives himfelf up to be led,
ftep by ftep, through the diiFiculties of his allotted
line of fervice.
T ith month 1787 — I received this morning,
with comfort, the long retained token of thy af-
fection j and can allure thee I am poor enough to
enter, with heart-felt fympathy, into the fituation
thou defcribes, poffeiling nothing whereon to build
hopes of divine acceptance, unlefs renewed by the
creative word of Omnipotence, and replenilhed
with ftrength to hold on my way. Let us not
R4
3^3 EXTRACTS from
then call away our confidence, nor conclude our-
felves unproritably tried, when we fee ourfclvcs as
we are; but rather rejoice in this tribulation, and
temptation to call in qucftion all that felfilh pro-
priety, which human nature would fubtilly fuggeft
to us as wrought by the heavenly Hand. Count it
all joy that thou art fo cloathed with a fecret fenl'c
of corruption, and art fenfible of thy own inca-
pacity to do any good thing j and rather defire to
live long under thefe humbling irr.preffions, than to
be taken away from all opportunity of magnifying
that " grace, by which thou art what thou art,"
poor as thou thinkeft thyfelf. Should we be fool! fh
enough to think we know any thing, the voice of
Wifdom would foon inform us, that we know no-
thing as we ought to know : in patience then pof-
feft thy foul, and keep in view an encreafing refig-
nation to every fecret pointing to duty. We are
\cry apt anxioufly to look for that good in our
own way, and in our own time, which is only to
be obtained by doing the divine will, after we have
known it ; forgetting that they who err herein,
:.ie L^atcn with many ftripes : if this is not now thy
ftate, the Lint will do thee no harm. He who
knows what is r us, wifely makes us weary
of ouriches and all viiible s, in order to 1 -
get that hunger and third after rightcoufnefs, to
which the blellings and proin'.i'e belong ; and fo to
attach us in facred union with himfelf, and love
to Ifs caufe, as that in thefe days of lukewarmncfs
in holy zeal, when the pure feed, through defer-
tion, breathes the rful query, <k whom fliall
L E T T E R S. 369
we fend, and who will go for us ?" we may, in fin-
glenefs of heart, and living faith in divine fufikien-
cy, anfwer, " here am I, fend me." Though this
feems an intercourfe fuperior to what we often think
is ever allowed us, yet the gentle movings of the fpi-
ritual life, and the fubjedted difpolition of our minds
thereto, in my apprehenfion, ftrongly refembies it ;
and if many vifited young people in this land, as
well as my own, had placed their dependance upon
the fandlifying operation of that facred fire, which
quickens the mind and prepares the facrifice, rather
than confulted vainly with flefh and blood, they
would have been ftronger in the faith, and more of
them righteous contenders for it.
11th month 1787 — It is by a fingle dependance
upon that divine and creative power, by which all
things were made that are made, that we find hard
things made eafy, and the mixture of human events
fo fanctified, as to be rendered falutary portions •,
the immortal part in us is ftrengthened to afcend, as
with wings of faith and love, that mountain fpoken
of by the prophet, where " nothing can hurt or de-
ftroy." A true gofpel fpirit Co ftrongly refembies
this defirabie habitation, that when, in fome degree
of its own purity, it breaks in upon our impoverifh-
ed minds, Ave are renewedly convinced that flefh and
blood hath not revealed it unto us ; but humbly fub-
miting to its operations and directions, felf becomes
of no reputation, " and the Lord alone is exalted in
that day." I feel, as I am writing, a fecret breath-
ing for thy brother's and thy prefervation, and en-
R 5
370 E X T R A C T S from
couragement to purfuc invariably the one thing need-
ful, becaufe it is fealed, that that ihall never be
taken away. The purity and permanency of heaven-
ly treafure, are objects of no fmall magnitude to the
enlightened mind, which has Ken the fluctuation of
vilible enjoyments, and the vanity of all its efforts*
without divine aihYtance, to obtain the fmalleft par-
ticle of true fpiritual bread, or one drop of that con-
folation which is only derived from the pure gift, or
well in us fpringing up into life everlaiting. lint it
is not enough to be enlightened ; we mult alfo wait,
in the abatement of felf, f( r the thing fpoken of and
c'.efired ; and be willing to accept the Apoftle's cxhor-
tation, not to be conformed to this world, but tranf-
formed by the renewing of cur minds, fo as to prove
what is the good and perfect, and acceptable will,
and then to do it, even at the lofs of human appro-
bation, and all the riches of the unrcgenerate will
id wifdoon of the creature. IleiL we team the
myftery of buying the truth, and idling all that we
- it ; a myftery which more,
is hid from the 1 id prudent, and revealed unto
the in Chrift. I often lament my unfitnefs to
receive thefe things, and a difpofition, out of the
clearoefs and power of the gofpel, to accommodate
• felf, particularly in company, to a worldly fpirit,
rather than fuller r.s a fool for the feed's lake •, and
y«_t I trim 1 ..ft it, and have vic-
tory in vii
b 173S — To be unniflied with that
cellci i fpeaks of, is truly dcfir.ible, and
v.! thout itj th< prayer of a ] I lit is, <p.iietly
LETTERS. 371
to keep in my tent •, and even with it, to make no
boaft, nor to ufe it but by renewed commhTion. Ic
is one of the effentials for the poor chriftian traveller
in every ftation in life ; becaufe of the open attacks*
the fide blows, and crafty purfuits of our unwearied
adverfary. I feel them daily, and long for an in-
creafe of ftrength to refift him, ft ed fa ft in the faith.
He many times feeks to make our hearts fad, when
the Lord has not made them fad, and to perplex
and embitter our paffage through life, when he per-
ceives that that is the length of his chain. We pre-
pofe fetting off" for Cork in the morning. Even that
is a burden ; and I might foon work myfelf up to
believe that I am not able to go half way to Clogh-
een. How admirably wife, and adapted to the
weaknefs of our frame, was that exhortation of the
great Mafter, " take no thought for to-morrow :"
this, and fuch like companionate counfel, fometimes
drops into my mind in the midft of my conflicts,
and proves to be words of that kind which both
winds and waves obey.
id month 1788 — Though the root of any good
affection be alive yet there is but one right feafon
prefcribed in divine oeconomy for it to manifeft itfelf
in the branches, by caufing them to bud, bloffom,
and bear fruit ; and that being the fpring-time of di-
vine favour, when the Sun of Righteoufnefs breaks
forth upon the Lord's plantation, we muft wait for
it in patient, though earneft expectation, that as our
abiding is in the allotment of pure wifdom, the win-
ter (however long) will in time be paft, the rains
and tempefts will fubfide, the time of the finging of
birds come, and the voice of the turtle be heard in
372 EXTRACTS from
our land : then, though we enjoy it in but a (mall
degree, we can falute each other in fpirit and word,
and hail all thofe who, like Mary, are hearing pre-
cious Iced, Let their {rations in religious or civil loci-
ety be what they may. A falutation of this fort
fprings in my heart to my endeared friends ; to the
parents who have known Him that is from the be-
.ning, and to the younger branches who have mea-
surably been Strengthened to overcome the wicked
one ; fincerely dcfiring, that as we have, through
abundant mercy, been begotten again to a lively hope
by the power of the fir ft reiurrecTtion, we may, through
our varied exercifes, keep our eye fingle to the pre-
serving power of divine love, and to that inheritance
which is incorruptible and fadcth not away, referred
in heaven for thofe who are kept by the virtue there-
of, and the precious gift of faith unto the laft day.
For herein is great joy, when outward circumftances,
and the accufer of the brethren (peak trouble ; here
the tribulated chriftian traveller finds an undcfilcd
reft, and by the light commits his fpirit in pure
refignation to the guiding hand of Omnipotence ;
feeling to the confolation of his affliclcd foul, that
for all his omiffions and commiffions, he has an ad-
vocate with the Father, not an High Tried that can-
not be touched with a feeling of our infirmities, but
v lie tempted in like manner, and who knows how
to fuccour thofe that are tried. Well might the
Pfalmiitj who was fo largely acquainted with the
dealings of infinite wifdom, exclaim, " how excel-
lent is thy loving kindnefs, O Lord ; becaufc thereof,
the fons of men put their truft under the fhadow of
thy wi; .
LETTERS. 373
3d month 1788 — We were at their week-day
meeting here yefterday, and had a large public
meeting in the evening, in both of which, I truft,
we were owned by the Matter of all rightly gathered
aiTemblies, and might have been more fo, if resigna-
tion, and a willingnefs to appear weak and foolifh as
we are, had been more experienced. I often think
that if, in this refpecl, we were Sufficiently humble,
we fliould fare better than Ave do ; and that, whilft
we were preferved from foolifh preaching, the fool-
iShnefs of preaching (as the worldly wife efteem it)
when in the demonstration of the fpirit, would be
blefTed beyond our conception, and made fomething
like the barley loaves by which the multitude were
fed. We know our own employments ; but the
myfterious workings of the heavenly hand, in carry-
ing forward the redemption of the nations from the
fall, are wifely concealed from us : yet the inquifi-
tivenefs and judgments of the creaturely part, often
lead us into discouragements when we Should, in the
Simplicity of little children, do as we are bidden,
and leave the event to Him who knows beft how, and
when, to ufe the weak and foolifh things of this
world, to confound the wifdom of the wife.
3d month 1788 — By way of apology for my Si-
lence let me fay, that writing, in many refpedts, lefs
fuited the difpofition and qualifications of my mind,
for many months back, than a Silent meditation up-
on the nothingnefs of felf ; which was far from al-
ways obstructing the fweet circulation of christian
fellowship, and Solicitude for the prefervation, un-
der the Shadow of the Holy Wing, of all thofe who 5
374 EXTRACTS from
by difpenfations unerringly wife, are involved in the
depths of difcouragement and difmay, with refpect
to their own ability to promote anv good word and
work, and yet whofe diffident minds are often affault-
ed by the acculer of the brethren. Thefe have,
however, no occailon of carting ; ; way their confi-
dence, when they reflect upon the many deliverances
which they have received through the communicati-
on of eternal help, and remember the gracious pro-
mile of the great Matter, to thofe who dwell under
his righteous government ; " lo ! I am with you al-
ways, even to the end of the world." — You are as
cpiftlcs written in my heart, wherein I often medi-
tate with fecret comfort, under the belief that you
are, in unerring wifdom, deiigned to be fellow-htip-
ers in promoting the caufe of truth and righteouf-
nefs, and fellow travellers in the way thereof. If
you meet with trials and difficulties, you know there
is nothing new in that ; they have ever attended the
fooUteps ot the flock ; and when WC are careful not
to multiply them by any default of ours, they are lb
many proofs of our being the followi . linicring
Lord, which are Pealed by our extracting benefit
from them, and fanctiJied by obedience. Hold on
then is you have begun ; " count nothing too near,
or too dear to part with for Chnli's lake and the
gofpcl's ," fear not that bumiliat ptifm, which
crucifies us to the world, and the world unto us ;
and m iy the Shepherd 01 Ifracl lead you as bu OWB
flieep, convey to you t fputable intelligence of
his own will, and fo preferve you in a ftate of fidcli-
LETTER S. 375
ty to himfelf, as that none fhall be able to pluck
you out of his holy Hand !
1788 — It is a favour that the beft root
needs no great profeffion, or fpecious words to nou-
rifh it ; it is not ftrengthened by a multitude of luxu-
riant branches, though, if it be alive, it will difco-
ver itielf by little buddings, bloifomings, and fruit.
"Whilft therefore we are not unprcfitably anxious,
in time of winter, for that which is not to be had,
neither let us be too unconcerned, when the full
time is come for the manifestations of the life of the
tree, nor count them of little value, but cherifh and
protect them, left fome indifcreet hand, or fpirit in
ourfelves, mould rub off that wherein is hiddenly
contained the choiceft fruit, and fo render the corn-
ing of the fpring, and the genial influence of the
Sun of Righteoulhefs, ineffectual to us. Many cau-
tions are neceffary under this fimile, for even when
a tree bids fair for profiting and enriching thofe
who pofTels it, if that which it is to produce in the
fulnefs of time, be gathered before it is ripe, it fets
the teeth of the eater on edge, and caufes the tree
to be evil fpoken of. Thus, on many hands, dan-
gers occur to us in the conduct of our gifts, in re-
ligious and civil departments. How needful is it
then, to aflc wifdom where it is to be had, and to
ufe it when we have it ; and alfo to cultivate that
prudence which is her fifter in fervice, and which
often oppofes plans of our own contriving. Thefe
are fentiments which, though thrown out to you
tend ro fhew me where, and how, I often mifs my
way j and excite me to review the confideration of
376 E X T R A C T S from
that merciful kindnefs, which is fomctimes extenJ-
ed to us in a very low eftate ; when, in our own
eyes, we feem molt undeferving of that help which
can alone lift up our heads in hope, wb.cn the floods
of affliction prevail, and the billows pafs over us.
INlay we deepen in our experience of the Lord's fa-
therly dealings with us •, that fo, approving ourlclves
more and more babes in Chrift, our knowledge of
the myfteries of the kingdom may be pure, and of
that preferring nature, that never puffeth up.
i;83 — It is not becaufe thou and thy
dear wife were forgotten by us, that neither my
hufband nor I have, flnce cur return from England,
dropped you a line. Silence, on my part, has chiefly
originated in a confeioufnefs that I have not been
deep enough in my lpirit, fo to draw water out
of the wells of falvation as to be able, in true religi-
ous fympathy, profitably to viflt thy oitcn difcou-
raged mind. To feel our incapacity to minifter, in
a fpiritual fenfe, a cup of cold water to ever fo fee-
ble a difciple (unto whom we may neverthtlefs be
bound in a conftant friendlhip) is a merciful im-
preffion •, becaufe it humbles us, and leals upon our
fpirits that invariable truth, that " there is none
good but one." What is this fenfe, but the anoint-
ing itfelf, which has holy certainty in it, feeing that
it is no lie. Except it abide in us to this tffec't, our
profeflion of being believers is vain - y we fhall grow
ary in the chriitian life, and our own righteoa£-
xiefs will foon cxhauft our ftrength : for fupplies from
the eternal Fountain would foon ccafe, were wc to
appropriate them to the profecution of ends which
LETTERS. 377
the Lord never required at our hands, and neglect
that life of faith, of humble dependance upon the
pure gift, and thofe precious influences, hope and
charity, which conftrain us to render unto the great
Law-giver, in His time only, whatfoever he requires
at our hands, though incomplete and foolifh to the
unfimplified mind. I often wifh, on my own ac-
count, to be more in fubftance than I am. That
infinite kindnefs has made me a partaker of the
common falvation, has fhed abroad in my heart a
meafure of his love, and ftrengthened me, at times, to
lay hold on eternal life, I truft the deceivablenefs of
unrighteoufnefs will never be fuffered to draw me
from the belief of: but I look at the office of a
gofpel minifter with an awfulnefs which convinces
me, that there are baptifms, humiliations, and
deaths peculiar to it ; and that, except thefe are
often renewed, in order to ftrip off the plumage
of paft experience, and of that knowledge of hea-
venly things, which, being like yefterday's manna,
cannot fuftain, but fubtilly puffs up the mind, that
babe's ftate, unto which the myfteries of the king-
dom are unfolded, is unattainable, and the infcrip-
tion of holinefs unto the Lord is withl :ld, becaufe
they are not cleanfed through the word fpoken unto
them. "What will it do for us, even to be called to
the work of the miniftry, if we fubmit not to thofe
purgations which unerring Wifdom appoints ? We
may become veffeis marred on the wheel •, or, to
ufe another fimile, if we fuffer not ourfelves, in
chriftian patience, to be bundled up as with the dry
rods, and to be as deftitute of verdure as they, we
378 EXTRACTS from
nviy, for want of complying with the nppointcd
means of frnitfnlnefs, fruftrate the divine purpofe to
diftinguifh thofe who are invifiblv preferved by the
hidden life. Perhaps it may not be unfafc to con-
clude, that in our fociety there are fuch defects ;
but, as an individual, I find it fafeft, in conformity
to the great Mafter's command, to judge not, ex-
cept, through the fpirit of the Son, the judgment
of the everlafting Father is known •, and at fuch
feafons, the mind is too much humbled vainly to
feed on this revealed knowledpe.
9th month 1788 — Thy letter fainted us two d
after our arrival at home, and was truly cordial,
reviving with great fweetnefs our love and friend-
fhip with thee and thy dear wife, and alfo ftrengt'.i-
ening our hope, that He who, we truft, directed
our fteps to your parts, and mercifully preferved us
through many jeopardies, will, as you and we fur-
render ourfelves to His all-wile diipof.il, fo carry on
the eternal purpofe of his will as to increafe our
fruitfulnefs to His glory ; and tho' very remotely
fituated one from another, make us partakers of
the fame living fountain, whofe waters purify and
gladden t'- : bapti/ed members of the church of
Chrift wherever fcattered, or however ohfeured by
the genera] cloud of darknefs which the profeflbrs
of chriftianity are too apt to content themfelves
in. But as the eternal purpofes of Gi 1 are, the
• •" His own precious I n us, (the Lamb
flain) and the reprobation of that fpirit
or feed of the ferpent, which with all the wrath
and artiiicc of a fallen fon of the morning] is ever
LETTER S. 379
feeking to oppofe the coining of the kingdom, of
the Malum, how ought we to watch and be ibber ;
considering ourfelves no longer fafe, nor objects of
divine favour, than whilft our fpirits and affections
are dedicated to His righteous control, cleaniing
and fanctifying by the converting influence of His
own power. The feed of the kingdom, through
divine mercy remaining in us, and a difpofition to
cherifh and embrace it, preferves from the fin
which grieves the Spirit, and leads into death.
Wherefore, to ftand in that which is elect, and to
experience redemption from that fpirit which Avars
with it, ought invariably to be our aim ; and if,
in a purfuit fo effentiaily neceffary, we meet with
fuffering and deep fpiritual conflict, yet remember-
ing how inferior it all is to what He met with, who
being truly the good Shepherd, laid down His life
for the fheep ; and experiencing Him to be in us
the hope of glory, the afflictions of the prefent
time are counted light, and the omnipotence of the
Lord's everlafting arm (as we fingly depend upon
it) found to give victory over the enemies of our
own hearts ; to lead, in the meeknefs of wifdom,
through perfecutions from without, and to build up
in the true faith and ftedfaftnefs of the great Cap-
tain, who goes forth conquering and to conquer,
I know that religion is in a ftate with you, as well
as with us, which requires a patient waiting and
quiet hoping for the falvation of God ; which is
often near to be revealed when we faint in our
minds, and therefore fail of inheriting that bleffing
the patriarch Jacob wreftled for, through a night
380 EXTRACTS from
of faithful and fucccfsful exercife. Thy increafe
in heavenly treafure, my beloved friend and bro-
ther in the truth, is fecretly and ftrongly coveted
by me ; my heart often meditates upon thy luiitary
Situation; and, in the renewings of gofpel lo\e,
thou and thy valuable wife are made like bone of
my bone, and fiefh of my fiefh. May the God of
all grace and confolaticm ftrengthen and fuccour
you ! and I moft airuredly believe he will, as your
love of His inward and fpiritual appearance, and
glorious work among -men, grows as a tree of
righteoufnefs, bringingTrorth fruit in its fcafon, and
enduring with humble fubrniffion ; every wintry and
pruning difpenfation. "We have heard fomething
of thy profpecl of devoting thyfelf to the education
of children •, a work peculiarly wanted in your
fociety, and which, if thou enters into, in the fim-
plicity and fmcerity which truth rives, will, there
is no doubt, be a bleffing to many, and thou thereby
rendered a feeling fubferiber to that truth, " he
that watereth, is watered himfclf." Thou mayeft
find it an arduous undertaking, and attended with
mortifying circumfrances ; but the liberal foul
(though it may fuffer) know? be A how to travel pro-
fitably through them all. It is not human appro-
bation that we ought to depend upon, or have fin:
in view j but our Jtudy fhould be to fhew ourfelves
approved unto God ; an 1 l'. n, whatever vocation
in His wifdom we an- placed in, ei !.■ weak •
may feel ourlclvcs, we Hull have no to be
alhamed.
LETTERS. 381
nth Month 1788 — I can feelingly fubfcribe to
the truth of what thou fayeft, that it is good to
fpend one's days in the bands of a free and fincere
friendfhip, and in the unity of a folid and conftant
faith. We are favoured with many in thefe parts,
who have been mercifully gathered to the pure
fpring of eternal life, where true love and unity
originate, and from whence they bring forth accept-
able fruits \ but, as thofe confolations fometimes
abound, fo do tribulations, on account of the fpirit
of the world, and many other fnares, by which the
enemy of all good is daily feeking to draw afide ;
and for want of watchfulnefs and care, he prevails
to the great hurt of fome, and calling a fhade over
the purity and fimplicity that there is in the gofpel
of Chrift. So that, notwithstanding we are en-
compafifed with many bleffings and advantages, we
are not without our portion of trials ; and can there-
fore, in much fympathy and love, dip in fpirit
with thee, and feel thee as a fellow traveller in that
path of fuffering and probation which, in infinite
"Wifdom, is caft up for the regeneration and eita-
blifhment of all thofe who walk in it, and hold out
unto the end. Fear not, neither be difmayed,
though thou feel thyfelf as a folitary bird, as a peli-
can in the wildernefs, or a fparrow upon the houfe
top ; He that is in thee, is greater, than he that is
in the world •, His wifdom will direct thee, His
counfei guide thee, and His everlafting omnipotent
arm fuftain thee, as thy faith is ftedfaft therein, and
thy patience maintained in travelling through the
abating difpenfations which may fall to thy lot : for
382 E X T R A C T S pr<*m
I do believe thou art intended to be a man for God,
fend no wonder then, if thou fuffer perfecution and
affliction : remember they :ire but for a moment,
and light, compared with that exceeding and eter-
nal m ight of glory, which is revealed to the poor
diftrefled mind, when it looks bevond the " things
which, are feen, to the things which are not feen."
I feel much love to the dear young people amongfr.
you, and (halt be glad for them to be told lb ; and
that the good account thou lent respecting them has
rejoiced the hearts of many. If they follow on to
know the Lord, their minds will increafc in holy
ftability ; the enjoyments of this world will fade in
their view; and an inward acquaintance with the
Spirit of Truth will become moft precious to them ;
they will not do their works (like the Pharifees) to
be fc.'n of men, but the folidity and weightinefs of
ir fpirits, will d that tl -y have been
with Jefus, fr< hon they receive all their cpiaii-
fic to perform true worfhip, or to do any
thing that is g »od.
ioth month 1788 — Thy letter, which arrived
about a v fweetly refVefhine and trulv
falutary to us; an ' I may now tell thee, thatthougn
ac< i individual I needed it not to revive
the ftrength • nate ittachment; for my fpi-
rit often emb in the flowings of increasing
thee, according to my
knowledge, in thai precioni
u: : ty which than all words (though ever
fo fi I cpreflcd) without it. "\S r erc
it not lor tlii, cordial drop, which, like oil, fome-
LETTERS. 383
times fwims on the ton of our bittereft cups, our
faith would hardly be ftrong enough to make us
victorious over even the little perplexities attendant
upon this pilgrimage and ftate of probation ; but He
who knows that we are " feeble folk," and graciouf-
ly compafhonates our cafe, becomes to us not only
the lhadow of a mighty rock in a weary land, but
teaches us fo to build our neft therein, that, in times
of ftorm and trial, his holy inclofure preferves us,
his faith ftays us, and this rock pours out precious
oil. May our dwelling ever be here, and our in-
heritance be enlarged in that which is pure ! then,
let our allotments be what they may, whether our
bodies inhabit the dark, or the more illuminated
parts of the earth •, whether we are encompafTed
with forrow and travail, or have to rejoice more
fenflbly in the revealed falvation of the Almighty
Arm ; all will work together for good, and we grow
in qualification to worfhip and magnify that great
and excellent Name, which only is worthy of the
incenfe that in every place and iituation is to be
offered.
1 ith month 1788 — If I know my own heart, it is
my defire to know my bufinefs, and {imply to do it,
whether it is t^.ken cognizance of, or not, by the
truly wife and honourable ; whofe friendfhip, though
ftrengthening, confoling, and therefore acceptable,
may (if the heart be not in feme degree redeemed
and redeeming from the myrterious workings of felf-
love) be perverted, and inftead of nouriming the
pure immortal part, build us up in an airy notion of
our own merits and attainments, and prove a fnare
384 EXTRACTS from
inftead of a blefiing. A little acquaintance with one's
own human nature, a frequent detection of its cor-
ruption, and the perplexities into which it intro-
duces us when its fubtil arguments prevail} are
enough to weary out a mind blefled with the leaft
fincere afpiration after permanent goud, durable
riches and righteoufnefs ; and to content us in the
moft obfcure lituation, if, through unmerited mercy,
it may but be in the courts of the Lord ; with the
coarfeft food, if but miniltered to us from the hand
which is full of bleffings ; and under the mnft un-
pleafant work, if faith is vouchsafed, that in love
and pity it will be accepted. Some of us here feel it
to be a low time ; my knees often are ready to finite
together, and my foul is exceeding forrOwful. That
there are caufes in myfelf, and circumftances attend-
ing our prefent lituation, I doubt not ; M give me
wifdom, and reject me not from amongft thy chil-
dren," is my fecret petition.
1 1 th month 1708 — We have twelve girls, and ex-
pect more foon; i"o that tliou wilt belie' - mul-
tiply upon us: but, all our endeavours will be inef-
fectual, both in this, and all Other undertakings,
except the blefiing which mikes truly rich, in unme-
rited in r. v, reils upon them. Did the world know,
how dependant all fubftantial comfort and permanent
joy are upon this heavenly gift, people in general
would toil lefs, think lefs of their own w'udom, and
more (imply follow that day (tar which arifeth in the
heart, and directeth to the pure life, in which the
Father u well pleafed. It 11 a comfortable belief to
my mind, that thou art arretted by this precious
LETTERS. 385
principle of divine light, which difcovers things as
they really are. Be not afraid to be led by it, into
ways thou knoweft not, and into paths thou haft
not feen ; for, in due time, it will difpel the dark-
nefs before thee, and make crooked things ftraight.
One of the moft beautiful, though moft abafing dif-
penfations, in the true chriltian progrefs, is that of
becoming as a little child ; the judgment is here
taken away for purification, and to be made truly
ufeful in the Lord's work, the foul breathes only to
the parent for food, and depends upon no other for
counfel. It is generally weak, but knowing itfelf fo y
it is fafe : O happy ftate to be rightly brought into !
May we never be afhamed of it, but for our encou-
ragement remember, that of fuch is the kingdom of
heaven.
1788 — Self-gratification in our own way
and time, has not been allotted us for the path to
folid peace ; and if increaiing humiliation mould
prove the food moft convenient for us, we wifh to
accept it from that hand, which has an indifputable
right to do with us as feemeth good in the fight of
infinite wifdom, and which has power to convert the
greateft trials into true fpiritual refrefhment.
—The ways of infinite \\ ifdom with thofe He
choofes to bring through, and redeem from the
fallacy of human underftanding, and corrupt na-
ture, are fo incomprehenfible and humiliating as
indeed puts us out of the capacity of faying, " what
doeft thou V for who hath been his counfellor ?
feeing he giveth not account to any cf his matters,
S
•$96 EXTRACTS from
ti!! the llmplicity of a babe in Chriff is attained unto,
when he reveals, according to his purpofes, thofe
myltenes unto them, which are hid from the wile
and prudent.
— That junction between the monthly meetings is
comforting, if only from the ftrength which the
few living members may be fuffered to feel in the
unity of one another's fpirits, ami the bluffing which
may be upon their endeavours to wafh one another's
feet, and to bear up one another's hands. That
love which has heretofore flowed in my heart as a
river, to the poor in fpirit on that fide the county,
lwcetly revives as I am writing, under a renewed,
hope, that the eternal fountain of life will not be
cloied among them, however low and unworthy
they may fometimes feel themfelves to be of its
pure refrefhment. And if it be in abundant mercy
kept open, and they that are acquainted with it
gather to it, hiving their qualifications from it,
and ufe them under its influence, they will be a
bleiling one to another, and more may be gathered
to an inward experience of the fame purifying unc-
tion, than, in fome feafons of dilcouragement, they
have an idea of.
1 2th month 1788 — We have been fitting in a
friend's family, where demonstrated that her
', through all thefe ftonns and tempefts, has
found where to anchor and unload her velll/l, with
an increafe of fimplicity and obedience. I wiflj fhe
may now leave the things that are behind; and that
we may ill be< and more, not only as chil-
dren, but as weaned children. To be reduced to
LETTERS. 387
this humbled State, has not only its mortifications,
but its joys. The christian's life confifteth not in
the abundance of the apparent confolations and gra-
tifications he poffefTes ; but in the renewal from
time to time, of the hidden manna which the gold-
en pot contains, within the veil of perifhing things.
Thou knoweft enough of fuch Situations as ours, to
make thee believe we are not without a portion of
trials, (no doubt wifely proportioned to us •,) yet I
dare not complain, having thus far, as we have paus-
ed along, found Him whom my foul loveth, in
whofe prefence no murmuring has a right to appear.
Childlike Simplicity is an experience which every
chofen fervant, however feeble, ought to endeavour
for. We get nothing by the contrary ; for by ever
fo much taking thought, we cannot add one cubit
to our Stature, or make one hair of our head white
or black. May you proceed on this family viSit, in
the faith, nothing doubting. It was not the abun-
dance of bread, nor yet the finenefs of it, which
fed the multitude formerly. For want of faith, ws
lofe many miracles which the bleffing would ftill
effect. Remember poor David's Sling and Stone,
and out of whofe mouths, Strength and praife are
ordained.
1 2th month 1788 — I received thy affectionate
fifterly Salutation, which, like a little help to the
weak and feeble, was falutary and acceptable. Be
affured I am one of the weak and feeble ; may I
therefore be wile- enough, like thole little creatures
fpoken of in fcripture, which being feeble folk,
S z
3 83 E X T R A C T S from
build their neft in a rock ! and truly, dear fricml,
were it not for the fhadow at leaft, of this Rock,
ainidft the conflicts between nature and grace, the
mind would often be overwhelmed, and make the
i'orrowful conclulion, " there is no hope." Ah this
Rock ! how fafe a refidence is it ! and methinks its
obfeurity from the worldly wife, and the felfifh
mind, adds greatly to its fafety. I feldom get to it
but by combat, which fhews that my enemies are
lively, and though it is fometimes my lot, in the
crofs, to fet before others their inherent infirmities,
and transformed adverfary, yet I humbly trult I
ihall not, and pray that I never may, forget mine
own.
I 2th month 1788 — My heart was favoured to en-
ter a little into thy affecting account of dear M. G's.
deceafe, and your united vifit previous thereto.
That valuable woman's laft days being lb memorably
emplovcd in her Matter's fervite, (after a life of
diffidence and obfeurity, compared with her religi-
ous qualifications, ami attachment to the caufe of
truth) was a diftiuguiih'mg mark of everlafting Le
and favour to her. Her dole feems fo lively, and
her fun fet in fuch brightnefs and i'crenhy, that it
conveys fomething animating to thofe who are far
behind in fitnefs, like myi'clf, to count nut their
lives dear unto the.nl'elves, if they alio may fo finiih
their courie with joy. And that bumble tabulated
difciple L. H. appears alio ready to rife triumph
above death, hell, an J the grave : all that is co\.
ous within me exerts itfelf in the profpecd of the
ioyous fettlements of fuch travailling fouls, in undo-
LETTERS. 389
filed manfions where there is no more change. Oh
that I were but as willing to commit my fpirit into
the divine hand, during my residence in this poor
frail tabernacle, (where there is moft need of help)
as to inherit the rewards of thofe who, through
more tribulations, more effectual warning, and bet-
ter occupation of their gifts, enter into the joy of
their Lord ! Well ! dear friend, fear not though
thou halt made an exchange fo unfuited to thy na-
tural difpofition in thy prefent ftation, He who
knows the facrihce, becaufe Himfelf prepared it,
(how little foever thou mayeft think due to thyfelf )
will proportionably enrich thee, and prefent thee
with the bleffings of His goodnefs, and crown thee
the more with that humility and felf-abafednefs
which are fo precious in His fight. Were it not
that He loved us before we loved Kim, peradven-
ture we might fometimes think our lot a hard one,
and find fome caufe to defpair of His mercy, or
conclude that His holy eye penetrates not into our
. lonefome and obfcure dwellings (however railed up
as fpeclacles to angels and to men) neither marks
the way that we take. That facred prerogative of
the everlafting Father, of attracting and quickening
the foul, opening and fhutting the heavenly treafu-
ry, is, I do believe, the very thing which diffcracts
that mind wherein patience has not had its perfect
work, though it is the very thing wherein it ought
to glory.
1788 — My hufband and I received thy
letter of affection for us, and lamentation over thy--
S 3
393 E X T R A C T S from
iclf. Our minds arc drawn into near fvmpathy
with thee, and we believe that thio aillictive dilpcn-
fatten, is defigned for thy emreafing acceptance
with the Father of fpirits, who knows heft how to
purify the veftcls of His own hemic. Thcfe, thou
knoweft, are not only to be of gold, but of beaten
gold, in order to f.ilhion them according to His
►od pleafurc, and render them fit for the inferip-
tion of liolinefs. Now, my dear friend, as thy
heart's deiire is to rcpofe thyfelf in the joys of
God's falvation, endeavour to attain that holy qui-
etude, wherein the delufions of the grand enemy are
baffled, and the tribulated fpirk is ftrengthencd to
receive the bittcreft cup with thankfgiving. We are
of ourfclves very weak, and it is fometimes confift-
ent with infinite Wifdom, that we fhould be left to
a deep lenfe thereof, that no fiefh may glory in His
pretence ; but that the hunger, the thirft, and the
humiliation of the foul, may be fully proved. There-
fore marvel not, as though fome new thing had
happened unto thee. It was the path which the
holy Apoftle was led in, when he declared on his
own, and his brethren's behalf, that they had the
i'jntence of death in themfelves, that they fhould
not tmft in themfelves, but in God who raifeth the
dead : and we hi. ■ iny inft inccs in our focicty in
thefe parts, of upright hearted advocates o[ the
chrifHan religion being tried with deep poverty of
lpirit, and difcouragement in the profpect of the
Lord's work) and of their own incapacity to per-
form it. Wc have alio ir, I of thefe humiliati-
ons tending I pi r in the experience
LETTERS. 391
of that fundamental truth, that the true believers
in Chrift have received an anointing which abideth
in them, and need not that another mould teach
them, but as this fame anointing teacheth them,
which is truth, and is no lie. And being thus led oh
to a higher degree of union and fdlowlhip with the
Father, and with the Son, their qualifications have
increafed to endure, for the precious feed's fake, the
watchings, the fadings, and the deaths many, mito
which, according to our meaiure, we are all, in
this mixed ftate of things, called. And when their
mouths have been opened again in the congregation
of the people, they have depended the more fingly
and limply upon divine impulfe, and the puttings
forth, and ftrengthening virtue of the Shepherd of
Ifrael. Thus the exercifed have been benefited,
3nd the Lord's heritage comforted. I humbly trull,
that thefe bleffings will remit from thy late tribula-
tions ; and that thou wilt have to fay, hitherto the
Lord (and not man) hath helped me. It is to be la-
mented when, for want of thefe baptifms of ipirit,
a fuperficial miniftry, and activity in the church pre-
vail ; for thefe are like blafts from the wildernefs,
which, inftead of cherifhing, chill the hidden life,
and build up in the notion, rather than in the
humbling experience of true religion. It is much
better to appear nothing when we are nothing-, that
we may be emptied and cleanfed from all felf-love,
and learn patience and contentednefs therewith. I
falute thee in chriftian love and fympathy, and as a ta-
bulated fellow-traveller encompafled with manifold in-
firmities, remain thy friend and filler in the truth,
S 4,
EXTRACTS from
ift month 1789 — My mind has often fecrctly vi-
fited and \\ pathized with thee, under the various
and deep exercifes which I do believe have fallen to
thy lot, in the coyrfe of unerring wifdom ; but it
has as often feemed more my hufinefs, thus iilcntly
to feel thee under the precious influence of that love
which the children of the one Almighty Father feel
towards each other, than to be forward in exprefling
it. lie who has gracioufly called thee out of dark-
nefs, into his marvellous light, turned his hand up-
on thee for good, and thus far, fuftained thee thro'
many refining difpenfations, will not now leave thee,
when Jordan may rile high, and feem to overflow
its banks i but in his own due and appointed time>
which muft be waited for, he will divide the waters,
and diicover to thee, with indisputable clearnefs, a
way where thou haft feen none ; yea, according to
II is promiie to His own {^cdy lie will make daik-
nefs light before thec, and crooked things ftraight ;
thefe things will he do unto thec, and will not for-
fake thee- I think I know, (if I am dipped into a
right fenfe of thy ftate) that the enemy of all good is
exceedingly envious againit the precious life, or feed
of the kingdom, which is divinely intended] through
fufrcring, to be fo brought into dominion, as to efta-
blifh thee in the liberty of the children of Cod,
whereby thv ufefulnefs in the church, in this dark
and cloudy day, will encreafe. Like the woman th
brought forth the man-child, feen by John in the -
n of light and life, thou mayft have to flee into
the wil •: for pre! . r\ ation, bccaule of the perfe-
cutions of the dragon, and the floods he may be per-
mitted to pour out of his mouth. His enmity re-
LETTERS. 393
mains to be with the pure feed ; and they who defire
to cherifh this excellent treafure, in their earthen
veflels, and to live godly in Chrift Jefus, muft ex-
pect many of his cruel affaults, in temptations, pro-
vocations, and inflnuations : but the Rock of age-s
remains to be their refuge, and as their tribulated Spi-
rits endeavour to retire here, and place no confidence
in the flefh, notwithstanding it may be with fore con-
flict they gain this fure dwelling place, they will be
amply rewarded, and have, in humility of foul, to
rejoice in the impregnablenefs of the defence, and to
magnify the power through which all things are pof-
fible. Whatever has a tendency to fubject and re-
duce the creaturely part in us, however bitter its
operations may be, is gratefully to be received by the
upright foul, as one of the means whereby the adop-
tion, and inheritance of the glorious promifes of the
gofpel, is attained ; and one of thofe bitter things
which to the truly hungry foul is fweet. Therefore,
lit me fay unto thee, fear not, thy God is with thee,
and will work for thee, as thou art willing to have all
the refiftance of thy nature' to every of his holy re-
quisitions, wrought upon and fubdued, in the day
of his power. The juft are to live by faith, that
faith which gives the victory, and triumphs over
death, hell, and the grave. May ft thou fight the
good fight thereof; and may I be thy companion in
this neceflary warfare ; that fo the attacks of our
grand adverfary upon fuch chriftian virtues as have
been mercifully conceived in our fouls, may all be
rendered fruftrate; and we abiding under the facred
influence of the powerful word of patience, may often
S 5
. [TRACTS mi
vtu J to look be
thing? the things not
unt not our lives
.... •
i I laid is th<
• thee, yet 1
of ; \ on 1
I : .
:
I it)
I .
. .'. in
:h,
this is 1
■
t .": - — Ther
or, a« to
Ae eni : of his i".
preiVnce, n aw v.. -en of
mourn : and
as I do . thou muft
rn mcj ixl to
bear fuch ons with christian fortku. .
. anchor? •
Rock of ages. That which is feeo is net hope, and
is the fcafon wherein
• th, patience,
, are to be tried, ra: :.n
xifly ^ o, when
cc.
L E T T E R '
2(1 i ~'l;- "■ ■■'/ '-■': " :•' - - - -•:
ban*-], M. D. ar.d . : . was ver ; vry
i i . : I the preciou .
of was mercifu
and ours, ootwithfta tding our .-.- .
and our own peculiar imp . .-<* to the growth
We ail fee!, at times, otir
> be clofely tried, and h been the ex-
perience of thofe in ail ages who were preffing
a city which hath found;- \ the fpirit of
•rorl i, and the corruptions of - are, *
(e the | nent c I
Peace in the hex -rrein the unit-
iv own be ire
* '- of the I - - rj ind as we
- by the aid of fpiritual wear. . - rr
•' fix '...:.- nifold pre
bt will at 1;
late for ever;. :'.
i. Let patience then have it3 per .
: " and entire, is
A .ng no- - friends here, v.. j
on in the tx re fympathized withy
accour: -.:' . ofpect of fufferi.- : Boocero-
e of yem apprehend to be the law
' ' .~ IC-
" h it note \ .: b omfaj . d . that
. -- iblic C : -
.-.-.-" Idity to the c
at a time w fa .-., perad venture, their :
was not f- be accompmk ,:h
-.^rv c: fort to th
396 EXTRACTS from
deeply to convince them of this renewed obligation
they are under to their heavenly Father, " whole
eyes run to and fro in the earth, beholding the evil
and the good ; and that nothing fhort of increafing
faithfulnefs to known duty, and watchfulnefs there-
unto in fpirit, can render them approved in the fight
of fo gracious a Being. We are glad to believe
there are fincere-hearted men and women amongft
)ou; may thefe be of one heart and one mind, walk,
ijig " by the fame rule, and minding the fame
thing," gathering together in the facred Name, and
diligently waiting therein the time which infinite wif-
dom prefcribes, (though in ever fuch humiliation to
the creature) before the people's minds are drawn to
outward testimonies. Oh ftrengthen one another in
this holy exercife ! It is eflential for gofpel minifters
to experience •, that therein the fpirits may be tried,
every transformation of the enemy judged down,
and the fuffering feed of the kingdom only exalted.
If this reduction of felf, and all fclfifh working,
were the object cf your ftrong and feeble members,
your affemblies would be Solemn, your feeding
would be upon the bread cf life, and your fouls
would worfhip and adore the divine Prefence, which
delights to dwell in you, and amongft you. Thy ac-
count of the young people's faithfulnefs was accepta-
ble j and, with thee, " I wifh it may be a fincere
ftep towards virtue." Hearing of the two marriages
likely to 1 » ably accomplished, is alfo plea-
I 1 hope that the reflccY.on will be laftingly
CC; . parties when their minds are
LETTER S. 397
growing under the influence of heavenly dew, and
in obedience to the crofs of Chrift.
2d month 1789 — If you fully knew the ftate of
our minds, and how clofely they have been occupied
fince our parting from you, I am ready to conclude,
that fometimes you could hardly have refrained from
dropping us a word in feafon. Perhaps it is felf-love
which directs to this vein of confclation ; an hunger
after fenfible enjoyments, which generally manifefts
itfelf to be infatiable, and the feeding of which fel-
dom ftrengthens the root and ground of true chris-
tian fellowfhip. It has been our lot, and I doubt
not but it has been yours, fince we faw each other,
to pafs through trials inward and outward ; wherein
nothing fhort of the Arm of Omnipotence could pro-
fitably fuftain and bring through : O ! that our faith
may be ftrengthened in it ; that as our race will foon
be run, we may, during its humiliating courfe, inva-
riably purfue the one thing needful. Then will our
fteps, amidffc the briers and thorns of this world,
and all the chilling blafts of its fpirit, be rewarded in
the riches of the mercy of Him who trod the path
before us. I remember the unity we were favoured
to feel in our little fervices, and the uninterrupted
harmony of our connexion as companions ; and thefe
things have left upon my mind impreffions too facred
to be lofl in forgetfulnefs. Inftead of their dying, I
think of late they have been replenifhed with a de-
gree of the beft life : and as we endeavour fimply to
move in the lots affigned us by our all-wife Creator,
however diftant our outward dwellings may be, the
immortal part will not fail to affimilate us in the pre-
3 o« EXTRACT S from
cious covenant of love and life. It is a wonderful
union which chriltian travellers enjoy, when they
meet one another in fpirit. Though their communi-
cations be mournful, yet underfhinding each other's
language, and being companion?, they are encou-
raged and frrcngthened thereby, to proceed on their
journey towards a city which hath foundations,
whofe peace is everlafling.
id month 1789 — The precious evidence of peace,
is one of thofe rare and valuable flowers, that
feem in danger of withering with too much dilplay
in the open air. The flvade, we are fometimes fa-
voured to retire to, when the world may judge us in
its own fluctuating fpirit : u when thou prayeft, en-
ter into the clofet and fhut the door," &c.
3d month 1789 — It is a very low time with me.
There are few I believe that need fuch baptifms as
myfelf, and therefore it is, no doubt, beft for mc to
bear them as quietly and profitably as I can. He
with whom we have to do, afflicts not willingly the
children of men, and therefore, if our afflictions
are not of our own bringing on, they are a part of
the work of that rightcoulhcls which produces qui-
etnefs and afiurance for ever. We muit not expect
to pafs through the prcfent vale of tears, witl 1
bearing our proportion of fuiTcring, for the body's
fake, and thofe abafcincnts which are fo neceflary
for our own preservation in the truth. Wherefore
let us be patient, and eftahlilh our hearts, that fo
we may not be moved or turned away from the hope
of th< gOfpel, but through all, ftand in the faith
that the day of the Lord drawcth r/gli. We
LETTERS. 3 99
often find, to the mortification of the creature, that
times and feafons are not at our command, nor even
for us always to know: it is the divine prerogative to
difpofe of them; and the human mind is taught
thereby its own dependency, and driven in queft of
that faith by which the juft live. Faith removes our
doubts, anchors the foul when upon the fluctuating
waters of uncertainty, " is the very fubitance of things
hoped for, and the evidence of things not feen."
Fight, my beloved friend, the good fight thereof, and
give no place to the accufer •, fo will thy pofleftion of
this heavenly gift increafe, thy offerings will conti-
nue to be acceptable, and victory become iealed to
thee when the combat is over.
3d month 1789 — If thou and I are really fa-
voured with the precious evidence of gofpel union,
let us be tenacious of its purity. On thy part, do
not fail to " exhort and reprove with all authority,"
even when the deceitfulnels of my heart judges itfelf
better than it is. What fignifies that part in us
which cannot inherit the kingdom ? I cannot fay
that I am light hearted, though it is comfortable to
believe thy burdens decreafe ; nor do I wifh to caft
a gloom upon, and cloud that fky, which, after
much tempeftuous weather, and a frequent oppref-
five atmofphere, may attract the ftrengthened fight
to greater heights of clearnefs and purity, than, in
fome part feafons, the nature of things would al-
low. I congratulate thee as one, not only beholding
the vifion, but gradually and effectually afcending
the ladder which reaches from earth to heaven j on
which, methinks, the defcending angels are fent to
400 EXTRACTS i hom
Strengthen poor weary pilgrims. May I be thy com-
panion ; not i'o much for the lake ot thy company,
though that is truly pleafant, as for the glorious reft
within the pearl gates, when the tribulated fteps to
it (hall tor ever ceafe. 1 believe I do not lb fre-
quently write to any one on this fubjccT: as to thy-
felfi and 1 would not have thee think that my con-
vcriation is proportionably in heaven. Thefe prof-
pecis animate the foul j but the difcouragements
and pcrfecutions from that which is born of the
fielh, feem as if they would drag every holy aspi-
ration into the mire and the clay of the horrible
pit.
5th month 1789 — It juft occurred to me as I took
up the pen, that probably there is a greater hmila-
rity in our excrciles, than we are generally aware
of, and perhaps we arc oftener dipped into iympa-
thy one with another than we are capable of per-
ceiving. Religious fympathy is I am perfuaded a
great myftcry. The apoftle fought to till up that
which remained (of his portion) of the fuffcrings of
Chrilt, for the church's fake ; and may we be like
minded rcfpeciing thoi'e baptifms, which introduce
into a fellowfhip with the effectual fuffcrings of the
Lamb, and work in us a conformity to Mis death ;
thereby qualifying, through the power of His rcfur-
rcction, to demonfirate, that they are not only for
our own, but alio for the church's fake. Under
thefe difpenfatioris, can we fail, at tii.es, of feeling
ourfelves -.done? We Should not be cxcrcifid ac-
cording to our meafures, in his tribulated path, if,
in the awful moment when the crucifixion of our
LETTERS. 4 ci
wills is approaching, our affociates and friends ftood
around us with the cup of confolation ; no ! it were
his enemies then who, haftening their own deftruc-
tion, pierced him, and miniftered the vinegar and
the gall. Let us then feize the comparifon for our
humiliation. Chrift in us can unfeal the myftery,
and amidft His holy leadings in the regeneration,
can renew the drooping mind with the confoling
language of, " fear not, greater is He that is in
you, than he that is in the world." I wifh that thy
mind may be encouraged, without unprofitable rea-
foning, to labour onward in the hidden paths and
pilgrimage of the Jew inward. Thou haft put thy
hand to a good work, for which I do believe thou
art chofen. The enemy of all good, will, as for-
merly, feek to deftroy the immortal birth, and not
fail to caft forth floods out of his mouth, and re-
prefent them to be the miniftration of juft condem-
nation. To be preferved from this attack upon thy
beft life, peradventure thou mayeft be induced to
flee into the wildernefs, where methinks I now vifit
thee, and where thou wilt not be fuffered to fall ;
but thou wilt be fuftained with the bread which the
world knows not of, and come forth in the appointed
time, more and more weaned from ail human de-
pendencies.
5 th month 1789 — Few fources of comfort pre-
fented at the opening of thefe mixed affembiies, and
unlefs the one great fouree of light and purity pro-
duces to the believers the newnefs of the fpirit, they
cannot but fa ft \ and well is it for them, when, to
their falling, they can acceptably add mourning.
4 o2 EXTRACTS from
For my part, I have in general thro' the conrfe of
the fittings of this meeting (which are moftly gone
through] felt myfelf fomething like Mary, who fat
at the bleffed Mutter's fepulchre, with a language
fimilar to that of " they have taken away my Lord,
and I know not where thev have laid Him." To
thy fympathetic mind, this may be a fufficient de-
fcription how things have gone with thy Sarah
Grubb. Perhaps in the la ft moment of extremity
(for fometimes we are wifely tried to the laft) the
joyful tidings may falute the fpiritual ear, " thy
Lord is rifen, and behold he goeth before thee."
this is the crown of all true rejoicing •, this is the
bleffing of which the creature muft ever acknowledge
itfelf unworthy. It is a knowledge which indeed
puffeth not up ; and were it not that Lucifer, that
fallen fon of the morning, is Peeking to intrude, and
fometimes does intrude himfelf, and attracts the un-
wary mind to fome mountain of felf exaltation,
peradventure the manifeftations and confolations of
the Spirit, would more often, and more eminently
abound amongft the Lord's vilited and adopted
children. M F< td me then with food convenient
for me, left I be full and deny thee :" O deferable
refignation !
5th month 1789 — I was forry to hear that thy
mind was ftill in fo dejected a ftate. Caufes for fl-
tu itions of this fort cannot always be comprehended
by us, and therefore we ought to be careful how we
conclude that they either are, or arc not, in the or-
dering of beft Wifdom. One thing however afford 1
confutation to the truly contrite mind •, that all
LETTERS. 403
things {hall work together for good to thofe who
love and fear God. As I do believe, thou art pne
of thofe, and that thou fincerely defireft alfo to
walk acceptably before Him, learn more and more,
patiently and thankfully, to receive from His holy
hand, whatfoever He appoints or permits, as dif-
penfations which he only can fanclify. It is a fort
of fchool the mind has to enter into, when fenfible
of its own infirmities, it purfues the things of the
kingdom, and the knowledge how to difcern them
from the myfterious workings and cogitations of cor-
rupt felf. It has many lelTons to learn, hard to flefh
and blood ; and perhaps one of the moft difficult is,
to think nothing too hard, nothing too n.sar or dear
to part with, for the fake of the prize in view. And
were we thoroughly to learn it, I believe it would
clothe us with many amiable and profitable difpofiti-
ons, which murmuring Ifraelites have feldom time to
difcover.
6th month 1789 — Thou art often very near and
dear to me ; and I have felt it renewedly during the
courfe of the exercifing meetings we have had here :
for true love fometimes fprings up, and attracts our
attention to fome fuffering object, when we are rea-
dy to think ourfelves deftitute of its facred virtue,
and too much fcattered in mind from its hidden track
iivingly to converfe with it. So, my dear friend, it
has often been with me fince we faw each other j be-
lieving that thou haft trials peculiar to thyfelf, and
peradventure, art too much deprefTed therewith.
Let not any difcouragement fink thee below an holy 1
confidence, that the everlafting Arm is underneath |
404 EXTRACTS from
and that, if thou " ileal thy bread to the hungry,
and thy water to the thirfty foul, thy light (hall
break forth out of obfeurhy, and thy darkhefs be-
come as the noon d..y."' Believe not the moft fubtle
iniinuation, that thj paffagc through life will conti-
nue thorny as it is ; for it is in the deccivablenefs of
unrighteoufnefs that thefe things are fuggefted to us,
in order to remove us from that ftedfaftnefa and hope
.of the gofpel, in which \ilitcd minds are defigned to
be eftablifhed.
7th month 1789 — My heart and eyes have been
afrefli affected by a lively revival of days that are paft:
days of fore tribulation, when the old heavens and
old earth were paffing away, and a capacity unbegot-
ten to rejoice in the difcovcry of the new. Yea, they
were days when the battle was hot between flelh and
fpirit j and for want of being accuftomed to the wea-
pons of warfare, mind and body were wearied) and
the vitals of both nearly overcome. When I re-
flect: upon the kindnefs of infinite goodnels many
ways manifested to my weak ftate, and the ingrati-
tude of my heart, I wonder at the long forbearance,
and continued effufions of the quickening and puri-
fying virtue of the immortal Word : I wonder at my
prefent backwardness in the chriftian life; and my
want of zed in the purfi.it oi I ne thing needful.
May thy bolbm friend and thyfelfj be fa helpful and
blefled to each other, as, in the facred covenant
wherein ye arc bound, unitedly to ftretch I nr
b 1 uni ttered by any thing of your own, and let
another hind, or gird you, even though you may be
carried thereby whither ye would not. The inex-
LETTERS. 405
preffibly near unity and affection which I felt with, and
for your fpirits, in our late and fhort junction, has left a
fweet and confoling favour behind ; which now, and
fometimes, when a different influence would prevail,
fprings up as under the threshold of the door, and
riles till it becomes a river, which my often tried
mind meafurably rejoices and fwims in. Count not
your lives dear unto yourfclves, when called for at
your hands 5 and when not, labour after tranquility
of foul •, remembering, that, however little and poor
ye may be, ye cannot, by taking ever fo much thought,
add one cubit to your ftature. But resignation itfelf
is a gift. Oh that ye may covet the beft gifts ! for it
is as we have them in view, and pray for them, ac-
cording to the mind of the fpirit, that we receive.
8th month 1789 — Thou art, dear friend, an epif-
tle written in my heart, where I fometimes read thee,
and thy mournful, humble fteppings with joy ; con-
fident with the divine command, to rejoice in his
new creation, of which, in infinite mercy, thou art
happily a part ; having known old things to pals a-
way, and new ones to be brought in, where the
righteoufnefs of the creature is beheld to be as filthy
rags ; and where the righteoufnefs of God, the obe-
dience of faith, dwells. Let it dwell, and more and
more abound in thy experience ; for thereby thy
ftrength will encreafe, and nothing, in divine ap-
pointment, will be found too hard for thee to per-
form. In true fimplicity, to lean upon and follow
the Beloved of fouls, is a wonderful prefervation from
that reafoning, and vain confultation with fiefh and
blood, which diftracls the mind, and often caufes it
4 o6 EXTRACT S from
to err from the faith. It is true our fpiritual guide,
for wife pin ;>. s, conceals himfelf from us, the
bridegroom is taken away, and then the difciples
cannot but mourn ; and better it is for them that
they fhoi Id mourn, tlian enter into the remoteit
confederacy with his en my againft him, call in
queftion ] lis manifestations, and doubt whether He
is to us that friend, of whom He has given us, in
broad dav light, living proofs. An unbelieving
heart is a temptation moft fubtle, and often very
plauiibly prefented. Beware of it, dear friend ! Be
not afraid to have thy foolifhnefs fur Chrilt's lake
perfected ; for His gofpel, which is the power of
God unto falvation to all them that believe, is a
fund of requisites for the chriltian traveller ; from
the babe's to the itrong man's food, the cloathing of
the lilies in the heavenly garden, to the accoutre-
ments and victorious armour of the Lamb's foldiers.
Fear not thcr<'hre, though thou be a child, and
feera to thyfelf that thou canft not go ; for the
Lord hath anointed thee, and will therefore ftrength-
en thee for His work, and feed tnee with food con-
renienl ;• thee.
8th liu th 17B9 — You are very often remembered
by me in (ifterly [ympathy and affection, though fel-
dom told • ;t ; and I trull that nothing relating to
my lilence will be able to make different impreilions.
I tind it very difficult in our large ( .nily, and amidlt
oth.er dutii rs than thole which relate to it (though
but few of them comparatively fall 10 my lot,) to lit
down and quietly com erfe with my friends; and yet
thef COS1C upon, or rather arrcil, my mental attca-
LETTERS. 407
tion, when in the very thick of cares and anxieties ;
fo that I hope the invisible intercourse of kindred
fpirits, is lefs dependent upon outward and vifible
figns, than we fometimes imagine ; and per.id ven-
ture, the more we look beyond the things dint are
feen, to the things that are not feen, the more we
then pofTefs the very thing which our natures
prompt us to toil for. Neverthelefs, as a fecondary
conSolation, it is lawful thus to commune. Your
laft joint epiftle was to me a pleafant repaSt, though
fome of its ingredients were bitter herbs : you know
fo well how, in every new difpenfation, to look to
«* the great fir ft caufe," and to wait for that fancli-
fication of the Spirit, which caufeth all things to
work together for good to them that love Him, that
it Seems unneceffary for me to remark upon it ; an
entire freedom clothes my mind refpe&jng you -,
yea, and I may add, a belief that your bittereft cups
will be fweetened in the due and appointed time.
To wait for that, has often been hard duty to the
haftinefs of my defires. But were we not to be So
exercifed ; where or how could we obtain profitable
experience in the chriftian's path? how could we
live by faith, when all things were accountable to usi
or when arrive at the quiet and fafe harbour of
pure resignation, if the ftorms of carnal reafbning
were never to rife ? There is a great and an attain-
able purity in that State of mind, which forbears to
judge even in its own caufe \ which, in finglenefs,
cafts its burden i^pon the Lord, and accepts every
permitted tribulation and chaftifement, as a renewed
Seal of adoption, and evidence of our being intend-
4 oS EXTRACTS from
ed to be joint heirs with Chrift ; and therefore
bound and induced, by the unfailing mercies of
God, to follow through all, our holy Head ; and by
the increafe of his fpirit, not to fear humbly to
breathe the language of Abba, Father. I look up
with an emulous eye, to an i nee which I ge-
rally live far ihort of: but let us prefs forward,
r we il ip if we faint not. You are a
collection of chofen veflcls at that place. Oh fuller
not the enemy to put in his cloven foot amongft
you, for he mars the pure ft defigns ; and to fruftxate
the gracious intention, of the Lord's children being
helpmeets to each other, is one of his moll fubtle at-
tempts. When there are ftorms at fea, veffels are often
(cattered, and hid one from another; perhaps all
equally tolTed : but there is a voice which both winds
am' s obey, and which unites them again. Have
faith in it, and wait for it, and ye fhall do well.
8th month r 7H9 — As children of the fame family,
I believe it allowable for us to commune together at
times, as we w ilk in the way and are fad ; for, me-
• inks, the ma Or has herein joined himfelf to us,
and I truft will gracioufly continue to do fo, as we
our integrity, and become more and more
Q ful in! I ijah, in a time of deep re-
volt, thought himfelf alone, and faw Ifrael with an
:d by difcouragement, till li:\\h<> knows
all . revealed to him his own preferred feed
In the word of eternal life only, i-> certainty. Weill
v that feared the Lord fpake often one to ano-
ther : I look at the I fi I :"!, as h \ iy
few to (peak to who und rftand the Hebrew tongue;
LETTERS. 409
one of the characterises of many in this clay who
are called chriftians is, that they are half Jew an«i
half Afhdod ; but even at this be not too forrow-
ful : " when father and mother forfake thee, fch<
Lord will take thee up," and become Himfelf the
fupplier of all thy wants. Who knows but He mfty
make thee an inftrument for the turning of many to
a pure language, and inducing them to call upon the
facred name, the refuge and landtuary of the righte-
ous ; that fo they may be preferved in the fecret
places of the Almighty, until His indignation be
overpaft. Be a faithful watchman ; yea be willing
and thankful to become the moft menial in the fpiri-
tual family. This humility will, with the bleffing,
iufure thy prefervation, and at timjss furnifh thee
with that bread of eternal life, which the world
knows not of.
9th month 1789 — I wifh we could more frequent-
ly converfe upon our various concerns, believing that
each of us finds them at times awfully important,
and attended with their peculiar perplexities, A
little company in fuch paths has a cheering effect, as
it feldom happens, in the right ordering of things,
that all are finking under difcouragements together ;
and therefore they can the better fpeak comfortably
when fome one or other fenilbly pofTeiTes the preci-
ous gift of faith, which peradvenrure all are never-
thelefs living by.
My head often feems dropping below water ;
yea, there are feafons when the billows actually
pafs over ; and, through unutterable mercy, they
T
4 ro EXTRACTS FR0M
do pafs over, and beyond the prefect trials. Sowing
a.s in tears, in the variety of ground which we tind
amongft the children, my ftresgth gets renewed ;
and my foul begotten again to a Lively hope, that in-
finite kindnefs will, in His own time and way, blefs
our feeble endeavours to prepare fubjecis for the
kingdom of the Prince of peace. It is little we can
do •, but that little let us labour to perform accepta-
bly to the Almighty Father, and have the world to
gaze upon us, and judge of us, as it may : for when
we take its fentiments into coniideration, or put
them in competition with our foul's peace, it is like
that falle balance which is an abomination to the
Lord •, whereas the juft weight (an implicit attention
and obedience to divine requisition) is His delight.
I wilh, dear friend*, ' that your hands may be
ftrcngthened, in the faithful difcharge of your duty
towards the numerous family you prefide in : for, the
more you erect the ftandard of truth there, the
more your fervices in focitty will encreafe; and
what is ftill better, the deeper your fpirits will get
in the undefiled coniblations of the bumble fol-
■rs of Je. Thefe are worth fuffering for,
they abound in proportion to our tribulations for
1 : s fake.
9th month 1 7 So — I am truly glad thou funds fo
Icated to pour water en the hands oi fwcet
ited friend ; believing Inch a difpoiition, conceiv-
ed in the integrity of the heart, i. often acceptable
to, and billed by, the good Spirit which renews
t'n ■ hope of the Bumble, and revives the minds of
the contrite • • Let nut the ufual difcourage-
LETTERS. 411
ments to thefe little furrenders, fo prevent thee from
following on to the full performance, as to rob thee
of the reward of enriching peace, and the increale of
thy experience in the work whereinto thou art, be-
yond all doubt to my mind, rightly introduced.
Having put thy hand to the plough, it is not now a
day for thee to look back. « Remember Lot's wife,"
has often been an inftructive caution, and lemon of
peculiar inftruction to my mind, when in danger of
giving up my fpiritual travail, and, rather than dif-
tinguifh myfelf from thofe to whom my fteppings
appeared foolimnefs, tempted in the bitternefs of my
fpirit, to fay, '« I will fpeak no more in thy name."
The old heavens and the old earth will (I trufl) yield
thee no more of their forbidden delights •, and there-
fore, how unwife would it be, through an imperfect
obedience, to deprive thy tribulated fpirit of that un-
dented rejoicing, which is peculiar to the new crea-
tion of God. I mean not, by this folicitude refpect-
ing thee, to be the means of promoting an activity
from under the renewed influence of pure wifdom,
or even the premature difclofing of openings into the
undoubted mylteries of the kingdom ; for it is a great
but necefTary attainment, to know how to keep the
Lord's fecrets, and when to reveal them. But a tru-
ly refigned and humble ftate of mind is a continual
facrifice, and will produce the fruit of the Spirit ; fo
that I wifh for thee and myfelf, that this root of the
matter may be found in us ; then, as fteady and uni-
form travellers we fhall gain ground in the new and
living way ; and leaving the things that are behind,
T %
4i2 EXTRACTS uidM
(hall reach forth to thofe that are before, having onr
I J e (ingle unto Jefus, who alio took up the crofs and
deipifed the ihame.
loth month 1789 — I feel myfelf nearly interefted
in thine and thy wife's welfare] and am plealed with
every renewed capacity to fympathi/.e with you in
fpirit, knowing, that if yuu due 11 in that faith which
overcomes the world, you mult, often experience
trials of it, and, for its refinement, be baptized into a
fenfe of your own weaknefs ; perhaps fo much l'o, as
to acknowledge, with the hoi) Apoltle, that we have
the fenfence of death in ourfelves, that we ihould
not truft in ourlelves, " but in God who ratfeth the
dead." If this is your exercil'e, be encouraged to
faithfulnefs herein. There are many who willil
cry, hofanna to him who cometh in the name of the
Lord, but who are not bound enough in heart to the
pure feed of divine light, to watch and to Puffer with
it, at a time when there is no form nor comelinefs
in it ; and when it feems no otherwife to operate in
the foul than by making the creature abhor itielf.
Thefe take not that root in religion, and b
holy communion or fellow fhip with • ther
and with the Son, which qualifies the watchful chrif-
foul undoubtedly to know when
to rejoice in t! Ives, and not in another 3 yea,
2nd to bear tcftirnony, in the quickening virtue of
truth, that the Lord is rifen. 1 gn atly d< ;ire thy
r friend, bel that thou art defigaed
for an inftrument in the Lord's hands, to < m his
work, 1 j k, ami . be-
.ious people, and to be the means,
LETTERS. 413
in the little fociety thou art joined to, of drawing
them, by thy example as well as precept, from the
" lo here is Chrift, and lo he is there," to the king-
dom of heaven in themfelves ; and of inftructing
them in patient waiting for its coming. This being
a part of thy office, I know thou muft endure much
hardnefs, and meet with perfecution in thyfelf, and
in others ; becaufe the enemy of all good will trans-
form himfelf as into an angel of light, and try to be-
guile both the fimple, and thofe who are meafurably
inftrucred in the kingdom : but take for thy exam-
ple a faithful fervant * of Jefus Chrift, who fled as
the dove to the window of the ark, and ftood flill in
that watch. Then wilt thou be rewarded with the
fulnefs of joy, at the coming of thy Lord, without
whom thou canft do nothing •, ftrength will be- given
thee faithfullv to bear thofe chriftian teftimonies, in
which thou haft mofl furely believed, and alfo to fuf-
fer for them, if it be the Matter's will. Then will
the light in thee be more and more ufeful in the
houfe, and the weightinefs and reverence of thy fpi-
rit, excite the beloved youth alfo to purchafe the
field where the pearl lies. May I be thy companion
in thefe exercifes ! my attainment in religious know-
ledge is fmall ; and without frequent baptifms of fpi-
rit, and patchings unto prayer, I find even that lit-
tle might foon be taken away. Let me have thy
prayers and the fympathy of thy fpirit, when ever
the pure light teaches thee fo to do. It is a comfort
* See William Leddra's epiftle in Piety Promoted
T3
4 E X T R A C T S from
to us to feci thee, rod fame others of your little
iclc, in the precious covenant of lote and life,
wherein we defire to be remembered by \. u and by
10th month 17S9 — Thy p urn is matter
of joy to me. I wonder Dot at it, becaufe thou waft
thened to humble thyfelf a child ; and
therefore, on the wings of faith and love, art thou
exalted to behold and afpire after the hope of thy
calling, and even to rejoice in the renewed profpect
of the land which is very far 01F. Ah ! how often
our fpiiitual eye wants purging and re-anointing, in
order to lie th< ad in our meafure, to
" behold the King in his beauty ;'' and even when
it is {o prepared, wifdom, infinite vifdom, prcfents
els more conducive to the efta-
mind r one, by lc.i\ -
deftitute of fenfible enjoyment, that it loaths
- out, • ut thee I can do no-
.'i, like the 1 r the water
brSJ h, the River of life. Here (in ano-
phor) is Chrifr, t!\e Rock found, whereon*
a truly religious wearinefs (not impatience) of this
rid, and : . tend to build, fta-
. '.1 and ftren 1 us. We are but fojouni
hei j carncunefs of ipi-
rit, invar i
the very kno\. IN is
' I, I
that 1 ; thing of it.
1 wkh
LETTER S. 415
me. As to opening my mouth in our meetings, .1
feems as far from me as if I had never known fuch a
concern. A painful gloomy exercife, or a wander-
ing imagination, is what I have principally to ts -
\ i through; and yet, having been acquainted with
a fituation of mind much more deftitute than this, I
dare not but confider the invilible fupport my foul is
blclTL-d with) as an object of reverent gratitu..
Well might David (who knew the various difpenfa . -
c::s of the Lord; pray that His holy fpirit might not
be taken from him, at the fame* time that he craved
the reftoration of the joys of His fulvation. But let
our allotment be what it may, there is fome attenti-
on to be paid to that precept of the gofpel, " to wafh
and to anoint, rather than to appear to men to faft."
My fituation in this large family, where many have
their own exercifes to pafs through, calls upon me
for the practice of every chriftian virtue which I ha\ e,
through unmerited mercy, been taught in the fchool
of Chrift •, and much complaint, or convention
about our inward ftate, except truth opens the w
fur it (which I truit is now the cafe,) rather decrc.
than increafes our ftrength. We have a friend,
blefTed be the great and ever worthy name, that
fticks ciofer than any brother ; may we then
to Him with full purpofe of hearc ! He can reri'.
refignation, and abundantly prepare us to fay, "
my will, but Thine be done."
11th month 1789 — I am, through infinite kind-
nefs, convinced that the immortality of the fcul is
manifeft in the fpiritual communion which, accord-
T 4
4 i6 E X T R A C T S from
• to our mcafurcs, we experience in thefe mortal
bodies, independent of every medium originating in
the invention of man; and though a very defective
purity occa£ons with me a very defective enjoyment
of it, yet I feel at times a holy resolution to hold
faft that which I have of the unfpeakahle gift of
faith, and to accept it as an earnelt of the inherit-
ance, until, by greater degrees of Light, love, and
life redemption of the purchafed pofllflion is
obtained. That thou art my companion h< . nin, and
in hidden conflict for this glorious prize, I iecm
ajTured be/ond a dcubt -, and greatly defire that the
prefent difpenfation of unerring Wifdom may, in
proportion to lbs depths of forrqw which thou haft
experience . cl thee up, on confecrated ground,
to this dignifie ! attainment. Ah, my friend, thefe
are humble afci ndings, becaufe they are the confe-
c . n :c of defcending : but they are fafe ; therefore
not, O daughter of Zion ; lo " I am with
Laid ; be not difmayed, I am thy
d •, I will ftrengthen thee, I will help thee, yea,
I will uphold thee with the right hand of my
hteoufnefs."
iith month 1789 — Thefe are low trying ti-
with us, and particularly to my mind, feeling myfclf
often as one that I undant need to go down
again to the p through di\i
favour, ftrength is at times afforded to defcend in
fpirit to where a right and tru ! of myfelf, and
the purity oH the caufe 1 am fometimes engaged to
advocate, u obtained. We often have need of the
prayers, and fymputhy of c crs fpirits, and
L E T T E R S. 417
oli ! that We may be kept in that faith which gives
the victory, Co as to wrefcle effectually for the re-
newed fupplies of the Spirit, that none of the dif-
couragements of our day may prevail againft' us. I
know thou haft thy fecret provings ; but fear not,
a greater is He that is in thee, than he that is in
the world." We have champions in this land,
who feem to defy little David's fimplicity ; but if
thofe who go forth againft fuch in your parts, as
well as here, do it in the name of the Lord God of
the armies of Ifrael, and with thofe weapons which
He approves, victory will finally be on their fide.
1 ith month 1 789 — I have long feen it necefTary to
watch my own heart, left while I nourifhed an ap-
proved chriftian fympathy with my fellow pilgrims,
and manifefted it in the line of apprehended duty, T
fhould alfo draw their attention and affections to my-
felf, and thereby wound the pure life by ftrengthen-
ing the root of felf love in both ; and inftead of
building up in the moft holy faith, and in a fingle
dependance upon the one true and everlafting Law-
giver, make fuch a compofition of nature and grace,
as would keep the mind in fermentation, rather
than in perfect peace \ rob of His honour the Cap-
tain of our falvation ; and prevent thofe mighty
works being done in His name which call for the
finglenefs of the believing heart. I have beheld an
evil like this in our camp, and its impediment to the
growth of villted minds to that ftature in Chrift, to
which their peace afTuredly called them. Do not
miftake me ; I reverence the bond of chriftian fel-
T 5 "
4x8 EXTRACTS from
lowfhip, and in a fcnfe of the fcllowfhip ilfelf, with
its facrcd confoling unction, my fpirit has often been
diffolved, and fervently craved its increafc in myfclf
and others: yea, I have rejoiced in the flowings of
that language, which I can now feelingly adopt to
thyfclf (not from partiality fo much as from a re-
newed concern for thy preservation) " My longed
for and joy, ft and faft in the Lord, my dearly be-
loved." In fcafons like this, we perceive where the
mixture lies ; the natural part (which cannot inherit
the kingdom) blending with a rightly begotten ex-
crcife and fympathy with each other. If our mofk
amiable qualifications, and affectionate endearments,
are not fubfervient to, and fan<£tified by, the refiner
of hearts, they arc encumbrances to the golpcl, and
the fervices of it.
1 2th month 1789 — Accept the cxprcfiions of my
renewed love and fympathy for, and with thee y the
remembrance of thee is precious to my heart, be-
caufe I comfortably feel thee to be a fellow traveller
towards a city which hath foundations. We muft
not expect the weather, the roads, and the difpofi-
tion of our minds for profecuting the journey, to
be alw?ys plcafant ; but we muft ever be careful to
keep in the way ; to travel when light is upon the
path ; and to reft in the night. We arc not to con-
clude every thing loft which is out of fight ; the
moft valuable grain the earth yields, paffes through
a temporary death. Wc are moft of us fenfelefs
enough, at times, to be objects of the Apoftlc's
r<< : ing addreftj " thou fool, that which thou foweft
is not quickened except it die." Human nature is
LETTER S. 419
{o fubjecl: to deception, that it can fruftrate, by fome
pollution or other, almoft every difpenfaticn, but
death : therefore, be thou faithful unto that, remem-
bering the confequent promife ; " thou ihalt receive
a crown of life."
1 2th month 1789 — I affure thee my heart feels for
thee a cordiality, which at times does myfelf good :
for in loving thofe who love the truth, (as I believe
thou doft) we unite ourfelves to a chain, the end of
which, however remote from the perfection of die
divine life, happily connects us with all the living,
in feeking after thofe things which excel in purity
and duration. One comfort that attends thofe who
are fimply, and fingly preffing after the hope of
their calling is, that they are not bound to tell all
they feel, neither with refpe<ft to themfclves, nor
others j it is not effential that they fhould fetk
eminence, even in the religious world. They are
happily fpared the trouble of fuch vain objects, and
find that, in folitude of fpirit, the Beloved, of fouls
fpeaks moft comfortably to them, and enriches them
with moft fpiritual bleffings, which he caufes them to
enjoy in heavenly places. Oh, how often I covet for
myfelf, and my friends, that we may keep facred, to
thefe " heavenly places," the gifts of the fpirit !
Nature is apt to feed upon them, to balk itfelf in
their influence, and congratulate itfelf in the poflef-
iion of luch treafure ; when alas ! the gold, the pre-
cious gold, this way becomes dim, and is often
unwilely tinfeled over by the unfanctified affection of
the creature. I wifh, — that thou and I may poffefs
that love or charity which boafteth not itfelf, nor is
4*o E X T R A C T 6 pro*
foon extinguished by the changeablcnefs ever to be
found in the face of perifhing things ; but may
cherifh in ourfclves the root from whence every
chriftian virtue fprings. Then we may have rejoicing
in ourfelvesj rather than in another, and our mental
falutations herein be more frequent than our exprcl-
iions of them. Thy account of clear is
comfortable, ihe is a truly valuable woman, and will
I hop-, more and more, {hew herfelf to be what fhe
is. Obfcurity i always granted to thole who
molt feck it : it is foraetimes a favourable climate for
the fruits of humiliation's valley ; but theie are in
wifdom, and for the good of mankind, often expofed
for thole that thirft, and h /t nothing wherewith
bm .
1 2th month i 789 — A week or two after our return
I ibljn, A. S. departed this life. "We hear flic
had fore conflict of mind fot fome days', greatly
fearing her future welfare : fo pure did that kingdom
appear, when her admired lrvelinefs, and faculty of
pleafing ccafed ; when plcafant pictures of fpiritual
thing- torn to pieces, and the day that burn
. 1 oven came upon them. But this heavinefs of
fpirit was n merciful difpenfation ; the chaftifement
yielded peaceable fruit ; for before flie finally took
her leave of vifible things, fhc had to acknowledge
unfailing mercies.
1 2th month 1789 — I have fern, in my fhort life,
fo much fallacy in human wifdom refpccYmg matri-
monial CO ions, and fo much blefling fhowered
upon an attention to fimple uncorrupted openings,
%-rrich have not at firft appeared moft plaufible, that
LETTER S. 4 >r
I fecm to have no faith left in any direction but that
which the devoted heart finds to make for peace. In
concerns of this fort, it is often very difficult for fuch
to judge, becaufe prepoffeffion and inclination are
apt to influence our belt feelings. Natural affecTion
bears fome rcfembhnce of facred impulfe ; and
therefore, methinks that this feed) though ever fo
right, muft die in the ground before it be quickened
and fanclified. In fhort there are few openings, for
our and the general good, which have not to pafs
through this temporary death, few gifts but what are
defigned to be buried in baptifm : and I wifh thee, if
ever thou poffefs a female companion, to obtain her
as a fruit of the new creation ; that fo thou mayft
reap thofe fpiritual advantages which thofe enjoy,
who, through the effectual working of the grace of
God, drink together into one fpirit, whether in fuf-
fering or in rejoicing ; for without this experience,
Zion's travellers muft find fuch connections to be
fecretly burthenfome and infipid.
ift month 1790 — I rejoice that the Keeper of
Ifrael, who fleeps not by day, nor {lumbers by night,
hath thee under his providential care. This is a
fuftaining perfuafion, a hope in times of trial,
which fettles the otherwife toffed mind on the confe-
crated ground of pure dependence : mayft thou
never doubt it, Satan will not fail to affault thee,
fometimes in roaring about thy dwelling, and fome-
times, with the fubtilty of the prince of the air,
feeking to take poffeffion of all within thee, which
can poffibly incline to difobey the commands of in-
fcrutable and infinite wifdom. Remember he was a
EXTRACTS from
from the beginning •, and invariably oppofcth tho
exaltation of the mountain of the Lord's home.
He prefers .my hill to this ; and had rathe? we were
1 to the hei I our own imaginations,
and the teat of judgment, there to c< udemn our-
(elves, and re ah D out of doors the convictions of
truth, than that we ihould die daily to the will of the
creature, ami fit in reverent dependence at the feet of
Him who bruifesthe ferpent's head.
i it month 1790 — I want thee to be encourap
and to put all thy confidence in the evcrlafting an; .
Leave, as much as poffible, things that are beh!
be content with the preient emptineis (when it i
portion) and neither toil nor fpin for future fu
He that cloaths the lilies and the grafs of the field,
is abundantly able and ready, in his own time, I
.1 his gracious providence, and minifter, fi
the treafures of wndom and ki. i e, to his flock
and family, even through the weak and foolilh
things of this world ; fo that things which are not,
(minds reduced to a fenfe of their r.othingncft) ;
bring to nought tilings which are. The christian's
ftrength confifts in the favour and countenance of bis
Captain; and the obtain ;!■;•< leads the mind
i; to that abafednefs wh< Sai . fii Is himfelf
COm£ nd his head bruited. "He fhall b: .
thy heel." Little indeed is in his power, if
maintain the humility, the f.mp'.icitv, and holy dig-
of a converted fouL "'■ Wi rds n r.unc-
ccflary at ; '1 lie Mailer, who knows what
tin u > infl bear, will I doubt n-- : thee thy meat
in due Uafon, waken theemor;.:
LETTER B. 4^3
caufe thine ear to hear as the learned : in all things
may he inftruet thee to difcretion, and prefcrvc thee
in the way whercinto he hath led thee, even that
way which truly no fowl knoweth ! I know, from
a degree of experience, that the farther we get from
a dependence upon inftrumental confolaticn, the
more likely we are, with holy certainty, to difcover
(amidft inward conflicts) the indubitable evidence cf
being upon the true foundation, the feal of adoption,
the white ftone with the new name, &c. The \cry
chaftifements which introduce the mind to this hum-
bling knowledge, are (when pafTed by) fweet to
the new tafte, as the honey and the honeycomb.
ift month 1790 — I did not forget thee j but truly
fclf was at that time fo much the objeft and fubje<ft
of my cares and exertions, that if I could but any
way keep my head above water thereby., it was more
than my doubting mind could at times hope for.
Ah, my dear friend, I have a heart prone to rebel
againft, and live above the pure principle of truth ;
and becaufe thereof, my fpirit is at times covered with
mourning as with a garment 5 and more especially,
when I confider the greatnefs, and the holinefs of that
Name, of which I venture to make mention in the
congregation of the Lord's people. It is mercy, no-
thing fhort of mercy, fo marveiloufly difplayed in the
choice of veffels for facred fervices in the church.
" He will have mercy on whom he will have mer-
cy :" this truth baffles human reafoning : and there-
fore, let thee and me covet an incresfe of the increafe
of God, and afic in faith for the beft gifts. Being
afflicted with, the impurity of ftruggling nature, let
4 2 4 EXTRACTS from
us come boldly to the throne of grace, to help us in
the needful time, and to fettle our fpirits in calm ac-
quieScence with, and resignation to, the diSpenSati-
ons of infinite wiSdom -, that fb, from every tempta-
tion and tribulation, our fouls may be reliored, with
this immortal and unadulterated fong, " thy will be
done." If we are but as the ram's horns, through
which the Shepherd of Ifrael fpeaks at times to his
people, (in concert with his inward and more defpi-
fed teaching) let us be content, and {imply Seek an
holy conformity to, and adorning of his doctrine.
2d month 1790 — It is not by might or by power,
but by the fpirit of the Lord, that His work pros-
pers, or his praife is effected ; and therefore a little
one may be made " a thoufand, and a fmall one a
Strong nation." Under this perfuafion, the faith is
Strengthened in the Omnipotence of the fmalleft re-
velation of the Lord's Arm in our little Services, and
our truSt removed from the appearance of Strength,
to Strength itfclf. The rich man cannot glory in his
riches, nor the Strong man in his Strength, but the
cauSe of glorying is found to be in the righteous go-
vernment and difpenSations of our Holy Head. Thy
letter brought you all So much to my mind, that it
med as if I was with you, Sharing in your concern^,
and Seeling in part that weight of exercife with which
dependant fen ants are introduced into their held of
labour. Now perhaps I may congratulate you on
the completion hereof, and participate in that hum-
ble rejoicing wherewith Ebcne/' r's arc Set up. I Ser-
vently deSire to poSSeSs an increaSing capacity to Seel
with the members of the myStical body, wherever
LETTERS. 425
fcattered, or however concealed in the depths of the
wildernefs from the human eye ; for I am perfuaded
that, as our fpirits are regulated by the president of
this church, they will, at times, be carried beyond
the bounds of obfervation, to vifit the feed in prifon.
3d month 1790 — Though my heart Sympathizes
fo nearly and tenderly with thee and thy dear wife,
as that I could mingle my tears with yours, yet I
dare not utter the language of commiferation, for
your late lofs of a lovely plant out of your garden ;
but rather of congratulation for the blelTed experi-
ence, that " the eternal God is your refuge, and
that underneath are the everlafting arms." Herein I
rejoice, and will rejoice that fuch unadulterated con-
folation is miniftered to the poor in fpirit. You
have a frefh opportunity, my beloved friends, by
pure refignation, to commit your fpirits, your chil-
dren, and your, fubftance, into divine keeping.
May nothing impede the progrefs and perfection of
this work, this glorious work, whereby the fong of
the redeemed is learned, and qualification wrought
to unite with the heavenly hoft, in proclaiming, that
" worthy is the Lord God and the Lamb, to receive
riches, honour, and power, both now and for ever."
A mind centred to the fource of inftruction, wifdom,
and Strength, can receive little more by fuch commu-
nications as thefe, than an outward and vhlble fign
of that inward and fpiritual grace, wherewith the foul
is replenished, and wherein it finds the fubftance of
all that is truly good. It is neverthelefs an allowable
accommodation to the weaknefs of fenfe, thus to
commune j and having, in moments of drooping,
A z6 EXTRACTS from
been refreshed by thy tender fympathy and fahita-
tions, my heart is bound in chriftian affection to lhare
thy griefs, and hail thee on every renewed acccihon
to the Matter's crofs, and participation of his crown.
Oh my friend, what nailing we take, before we are
bound to it ! how nature oppofes that holy experi-
ence of being led as a lamb to the {laughter, and as
a Oieep that is dumb before its (hearers. Hard as the
work is, with God all things arc poiiible; and there-
fore let us watch and be lober, adding to our faith
v : rtue ; that when the power is revealed by which we
can do all things, we being in readinels, may advance
from itrength to iuength, and finally appear before
the Lord in Zion, amongft thole who arc fully fanc-
tified. We are now returned from our quarterly
meeting, where I truft the gofpel cauie did not go
backward. We ought not to look for great things ;
we do not deferve them. And I perceive that when
we are moft dipped into this fenfe, life and immorta-
lity (being gracioufly in waiting) are the moft fure to
be brought to light. Therefore let us be humbled
under the mighty hand, that we may be thus truly
exalted in due time ; yea, in all our provings, let us
fink down into our own nothingnefs, and value every
difpenfation which clothes us with it ; for then, mc-
thinks, we lhall learn in every thing to give thanks.
3d month 1790 — Thou haft, my dear friend, <>t
late appeared to me to be preparing to i ' , ac-
cording to the facred COUnfel of the great Mafter to
His diftiplcs:, without or purfc, or two coats,
reduced ro a fimplc pon renewed iup-
plies from the holy trculury, and learning, in a new
LETTERS. 427
line of fervice, to live by faith. Mayft thou en-
creaie in the certain knowledge, that the Lord is
gracious unto fuch humble faithful walkers before
him. I feel a confidence that it will be fo, and that
thy feet will grow more and more confpicuoufly beau-
tiful upon the mountains ; becaufe they are, beyond
all fhadow of doubt, (hod with the preparation of
the gofpel of peace, and through adorable kindnefs,
waflied for the fervice on which thou art now fet out :
therefore gird up the loins of thy mind, and hope to
the end. Do not be afraid of the gloomy exercifes
into which thy mind may often be baptized. Re-
member that even the great Mafter, who knew with-
out fear or doubting that he fhould glorify the Father,
groaned in himfelf before he raifed Lazarus from the
dead. Do, I intreat thee, offer thyfelf up freely, and
do not feek to cut thy matter fhorter than is con-
fiftent with thy peace. Look forward and not back-
ward ; for if I am not miftaken, thy progrefs in the
work whereunto thou art called, is not defigned to
be as flow as fome thou mayft efteem thy cotempora-
ries ; and it is as great an evil to take from the words
of the prophecy of the book, as to add to them.
3d month 1790 — Your many teftimonies of
affection for us, your repeated accounts refpe<fting
yourfdves, and, above all, your fteady increafe in
laving knowledge, of which we are perfi.aded, are
frequent occahons of humble thankfulnefs to the Fa-
ther of mercies, whole bieffings, variously Ihowered
upon you and us, are worthy of reverent commemo-
ration, and grateful enquiry, what we fhall render
unto him therefore. It is little, very little, that we
428 EXTRACTS from
can do for fo bountiful a Shepherd ; nor does He,
bleffed be His name, require at our hands what He has
not furniihed us with ability to perform: hut that lit-
tle, let us prcfent at, or taft into the fecret treafury,
not doubting His companionate acceptance. An
humble rcfigned fpirit is a gift which, 1 believe, was
never refilled at the altar. It is, whilft preferred, a
continual offering, a fwect fmelling facrifice, the
favour of life unto life in thofe that believe ; it is a
bulwark or fortrefs, where, in times of defcrtion,
temptation and tribulation, the weary foul finds inci-
ter, and all the armour of light againft Satan's attacks
and fiery darts. Now, my beloved friends, my
heart feels you as companions in the chriftian path ;
and in your exercifes, your difcouragements m . 1
poverty of fpirit, I participate ; though diftant in the
outward, yet as the Apoftle faid, " prefent in fpirit."
— Be affured that the fame afflictions are meafurably
accomplifhed in every true member of the myftical
body. You have companions therein, and need
not be told, that all thefe things are intended for our
refinement, and encreafing ufefulnefs and fervice in
the church militant here on earth : that when this
mortal fhall put on immortality, the tribulated fpirit
may obtain an eternal rcfidencc, in the glorious
church triumphant, where all tears are wiped away :
theft arc animating considerations, and prompt us to
endure hardncTs like good foldiers of Jefus Chrift,
and to receive with thank! iving every humiliation
and fpiritual baptilYn. 1 know, dear friend, that if
thou art mercifully kept quick in underftanding in
the fear of the Lord, the weak, unconverted ftale
LETTERS. 429
of many of your members will occafion thee to go
mourning on thy way, at the fame time that thou finds
a neceffity to attend to that command of the great
Mafter, to wafli and anoint rather than appear unto
men to fait. This hidden exercife of fpirit will ef->
poufe thee more clofely to the heavenly bridegroom,
who hath the fpirit of wifdom and underftanding,
and who judges not after the fight of the eye, or the
hearing of the ear. I do hope, my beloved friends,
that your labours will be bleft though yourfelves
think them very weak and fmall. If our treafure is"
but laid up in heaven, no matter how little our cor-
rupt hearts are entrufted with the knowledge of it.
Be not afraid of leaving the fheep and lambs, when
the good Shepherd calls to any duty 5 His care is bet-
ter than ours, and He can iupply all your needs, by
the riches of His grace in Chrilt Jefus our Lord.
4th month 1790 — I am comforted in finding that
your hearts are knit together like David and Jona-
than's, in oppofition to every ftratagem which Satan
may ule. As I do believe the cement is compofed of
materials acceptable to the penetrating eye of the
great Preferver of men, lb I truft you will feel your
union to be a balm through the future fteppings of
chriftian and focial travel, however it may pieale infi-
nite Wifdom to dilpofe of you, as to your outward
fettlements, or journeyings in the prefent world. —
Settle it in thy heart, to expect a mixture of bitter-
nefs in that cup of comfort:, which the great Mailer
may minifter to thee. No deadly forrow is in the
bleifing ; but evil things, and mutable things, till
our purification is complete, have a power over us
434) EXTRAC T S from
which keeps our fpirks in a ftate of prolitable gronn-
ing •, and if we do but experience the fulfilling of
that gracious promife, that for the cryinga of the
poor, an. 1 for tl ings of the needy, he will arife,
let us thank him and take courage.
My beloved 's letter came at a time more
ptable than would be prudent for me this way to
ribe. I: renewed that precious participation of
each other's exercifes and confutations, which I do
believe originates in the fountain of everlafting love.
I look with hun. Me admiration at that holy hand
which is leading thee about, and Lnftru&ing thee ;
and my faith is ftrong that the Lord will keep thee
as the apple of his eye, and, in his own time, make
all clouds of difcouraj I as the duft of his feet.
Thou knoweft, ind thou wilt more ant! more know,
that, fort: 1 , right] rmance of :<ny religious fer-
vice, w Paying from veffel to veflelj and
when we conlider how many have fuffered by an im-
perfect experience of this ■ • wo-k, we ought not
to lament at any difpenfation, or change of feafons,
whicl | i •aft degree, nearer to that
and fta , for which infinite kindnefs defigns
rth month 17 ■ '< - Th I m ifure of ronvevfion
h is effentially neceilary, rightly to introduce us
into every new Lin <>t i< < ■■ '< •-, refem-
blance to the firfl fo i> of the greal into the
chriftian rel ' (hone around him; fuch
convict-' :ed his foul, that whilft he aiked,
" who nrt thou," he called h m Lord; he consulted
not with flelh and I : happy reiignation ! whjcB
LETTERS. 431
however, did not keep him out of the Jlreet called
Straity neither for a time were his eyes fuffered to be
opened. — We have each our peculiar exercifes, as
we have each our peculiar infirmities ; all which,
through fimctification and purification of heart, may
help us forward to a final icttlement in that glorious
city, whofe inhabitants no more fay they are lick.
— I hope thou wilt not draw back from any opening
to duty, which thou mayft be favoured with. The
right time, and our time, do not always agree ; but
we ought invariably to bear teftimony to the firft, by
the fubordination of the latter. « Wifdom is jufti-
fied of her children ■" and therefore do not reafon
unprofitably upon thy duty.
7th month 1790 — It was pleafant to be informed
of thy fafe landing in Ireland. I hope thy drooping
mind has been reirefhed, not only by the ftrengthen-
ing fympathy of fellow-travelers, but alfo by the
compofing, and yet animating virtue of Shiloh's
ftreams, and that thou haft been enabled to lie down
befide thefe waters which run lbftly. Thou knoweft
that when we can get here, it is like getting home,
to a joy with which no ftranger can intermeddle.
The increafe of fuch a capacity is what my foul longs
for j that in this exerciiing journey before us, where-
in creaturely efforts can do little for the promotion
of the great caufe, the pure feed may, from place to
place, be at leaft fecretly viuted \ and that whether
effects may be feen or not, the work, in divine con-
defceniion, may be hid with the Lord.
nth month 1790 — The comfortable evidence
thou mentions, of there being a power ftrong in pro-
432 EXTRACTS from
portion to thy weakrefs, ftrengthens my declining
id encourages me to lay hold on the fame
bleiTed hope, becauie it met the witnefs in my heart
that lays it is the truth. A confidence fo precious is
not to be caft ..way ; it is d< Signed for an anchor to
the poor veSfel, fi - i try attacking it to eternal help,
when, in divine wifdom, its courfe is retrained on
the waters of affliction and uncertainty. Then let
me fay, caft not away thy confidence, for therein is
..t reeompenee of reward. We are often tempt-
ed to do this; Sometimes, in the multitude of ob-
jects, forgetting the great fource of good, and means
of preservation j and at i . looking fo timidly
and doubtfully at them, as to lofe our interest in
both. May thou and I, watch againft thefe and o-
ther evils -, and pray, according to our meafure of
faith, that that fpirit ma\ prefide i.i as, which can
rejoice in God alone, though none elle regard it, or
can own it.-> life.
i 790 — I cannot know that thy Sufferings
and temptations are fo deep, without feeling an af-
fectionate, lifterly Solicitude about thee, at the fame
time that I y . with joy thy fteppmgs .ire in the
footfteps of the flock. But with the greateft cordi-
ality do I find, that thou canft not draw thy con: -
»rw from the S, of fellow difciples.
The welt's mouth being clof d in thyl'elf, tliou fitted
mn-iming ai it, and every drop of water brought th e
from thy neighbour':, overflowings, Serves but to aug-
n Mentation; for rhy third cannot he Sitif-
fied ith that, which is not the " well in thee (prill ;-
. up into nrerlafting life." I am glad thou art reioW-
LETTERS. 433
ed to be patient ; if thou holdeft thy integrity herein,
and letteft patience have its perfect work, thou wilt
iind more perfection in this difpenfation than is ma-
nifeft at prefent, and moreover thou wilt lack nothing.
Then be of good cheer, my beloved friend : believe
in the fatherly care and compaffion of Him who is
the Lord Almighty ; and doubt not that all His chaf-
tifements are the more indelibly to fix the feal of a-
doption upon thy fpirit ; whereby thy qualifications
may be ftrengthened to cry Abba, Father ! in pro-
portion to the increafe of thy fervices in and for His
Name. Were not the experiences of the Lord's
dealings to us as individuals fomewhat deep, there
might be more danger of {tumbling in the paths of
judgment, when, for the welfare of others, we may
be turned into them ; and marvel not if, after this
baptifm with which thou art baptized, the Mafter,
who is rich in mercy, and infcrutable in wifdom, calls
upon thee for fome new- act of dedication. Till then,
fight the good fight of faith ; now is thy time to
prove the Sufficiency of thy ever victorious Captain.
Refolve if thou perifh, it mall be at His footftool.
Let not out thine ear to the accufer of the brethren,
believe him not, even respecting thyfelf, when he
tells thee that thou art not what thy friends take thee
to be. But if the Father chaftens, and draws thee
from man's judgment, by fhewing thee the fallibility
thereof, cleave to him as to thy beft friend. Expe-
rience will convince thee, that whoever ftand thro'
the ftorms attendant on their pilgrimage for the ho-
nour of the great Name, muft learn to pafs through
U
434 EXTRACTS from
good report, as well as evil reportj with an equal
neglect of it as fuch ; for the weapons of their war-
fare being fpiritual, they muft not fail to apply them
to the fpiritual wickednefs in the high, but fecret
places ol their own hearts. Self is apt to feed upon
the manifeft unity of our friends, and to draw our
attention from the pure and ftrengthening virtue
which fupplieth every joint of the myftical body ;
rendering us lefs capable, than we otherwife fhould
be, of catin^ that bread which the world knows not
of.
I have a comfortable hope refpecti
thy profperity and prcfervation, and already rejoice
in the fymptoms thereof. That one cipecially, of
the palling away of the old heavens and the old earth,
is fo favourable, that I trulr thou wilt fully refign
thyfelf thereto, that fo they may be remembered no
more, nor come into, to way-lay thy mind in any of
its preparations for gofpcl fervice. Yes, my heart
can feci with thee, in thy frequent incapacity to re-
joice in even the pureft friendship, or to fupport it
by the ciiulions of natural affection. Oh that all
whofe hearts and tongues have been animated with
the live coal from the urrcd Altar, had fully pallid
through 09 of th I rtj mcthinks the
priefthood, and other living members in the church,
would be more burning and (hilling lights, ha-
• • chriftian fympathy for each other, and of-
tl r il " field of fpiritual excr-
-, or, la other words, enjoy the t. • nmunion
of I We lnifs many of the excellent promifes
at of coming to, and dwelling
LETTERS. 435
in, that humbled fituation of mind to which they
belong. How many fit in judgment, who never
fufficiently, by virtue of the meeknefs of their fpirits,
were guided in the midft of its paths ! How often
do we hear attempts to fmg the praife of Zion's King,
by thofe whofe general conduct bears no teftimony
to a fervent travail of their fpirits after deliverance
from the enemies of their own houfes, and who con-
fequently cannot ftand upon its banks. Though I
often fear it is the tale, I dread to fettle down (be-
caufe it fometimes appears to be my duty to fhew un-
to others their trail fgrefiions) as if the work was
done at home, and my foul's adverfary overcome ;
when, peradventure, his force is redoubled, and his
artifice herein more than ever effectual . " Watch
and pray," fweetly occurs to my mind, and for this
good end, " that ye enter not into temptation ;"
that the veflel may be preferred in fanctification and
honour, and that the immortal birth may have its
habitation in a purified temple. Then may the new
heavens, the new earth, and the holy mountain, in
times of refrefhing, break forth into finging, becaufe
the Lord comforts his people, and hath mercy upon
his anTicled.
FINIS.
A A 000 288 443 5
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