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 PRIVATE 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 FRED E. 
 
 SMITH. 
 
 No. 
 
 Sec.
 
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 SOME 
 
 ACCOUNT 
 
 OF THE 
 
 L I F E 
 
 AND 
 
 RELIGIOUS LABOURS 
 
 O F 
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 
 
 WITH AN 
 
 A P P E N D I X, 
 
 CONTAINING AN ACCOUNT 
 
 OF THE 
 
 SCHOOLS at ACKWORTH and YORK, 
 
 OBSERVATIONS on CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE, 
 
 AND 
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM MANY OF HER 
 
 LETTERS. 
 
 John vi. 12. 
 Gather up the Fragments that remain, 
 
 that Nothing be loft. 
 
 DUBLIN: 
 
 Printed for R. JACKSON, No. 20, Meath-street. 
 
 m,dcc,xcii.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 Her Education. — Divine Vfitations. — Conficl arifng 
 from her natural Vivacity , Zsfc. — Solid State of ha 
 Mind in the early Part of Life. — Exercifes about the 
 Time of her firfl Appearance in the Minifry. — 
 fifit to Part of the Counties of IVe/hnoreland and 
 Cumberland. — Vift to the Meetings of Chi fire and a 
 Part of thofe in Lancafire, Istc. Page I 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 r Marriage — and Journey into Scotland, Cumber- 
 land, &c. 43 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 Vift to her Hujbatld's Relations in Ireland. — Journey 
 
 ; Norfolk, oV. — Vift to the Meetings of Friends 
 
 in Ireland. 78 
 
 C II A P. IV. 
 
 to /owe of the Wejlem Counties of England. 
 
 114 
 
 C II A P. V. 
 
 Family Vift at Sheffield. — Illncfs there. — Confederation 
 of removing into Ireland. — Journey into Lmcolnfire. 
 — Removal to Ireland. — Journey into Holland, Ger- 
 many, and France. 145 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 Her Concern refbe&ing a Boarding School for Female 
 ith. — Vift to Friends Families in Cork. — Jour- 
 my to London. — Vift to Dunkirk, Holland, Pyr- 
 viont, t&c. — Her Return — and Deceafe. — Ttf into- 
 ning her. 183
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 AS few lives have exhibited a more pure 
 example of piety and virtue, than that - 
 which is fet forth in the enfuing pages, it has 
 been thought right to bring it forward to ge- 
 neral notice; under a hope, that an account 
 of this humble, felf-denying, and dedicated 
 fervant, will prove the means of inftrucling 
 others ; and of ftrengthening their faith in the 
 efficacy of that Divine Principle, " which 
 wrought all her works in her." 
 
 It will be proper to inform the reader, that 
 the materials from which this work is com- 
 pofed, confift of journals written by herfelf 
 of her travels through Scotland, Ireland, and 
 fome of the weftern counties in England , and 
 of a confiderable number of letters to fome of 
 her intimate friends. From thefe laft have 
 been extracted fuch parts, as were defcriptive 
 of her other labours and travels, or likely to 
 be of public ufe. A connexion of the differ- 
 ent events and circumftances, has been made 
 throughout, by fhort narratives or explanati- 
 ons ; but great care has been taken to pre- 
 ferve, as much as could be, her own words 
 and arrangements. 
 
 Thofe extracts of letters which do not ap- 
 pear to have a peculiar connexion with the 
 
 A %
 
 iv INTRODUCTION. 
 
 narrative, and which could not have been re- 
 gularly introduced there, have been collected 
 together, and are, nearly in the order of time, 
 inferted in the Appendix. The importance of 
 their fubjects, and their inilruclive tendency, 
 it is apprehended, will render them an accept- 
 able addition to the other part of the work. 
 Although, from the time of her engagement 
 in the miniflry, fhe was greatly dedicated, and 
 much employed in various religious fervices 
 during the remainder of her days ; yet, for 
 want of materials left by herfelf, an account of 
 many of thefe is omitted in the following 
 work ; which it feemed proper to confine, al- 
 moft throughout, to fuch part of her life and 
 labours as could be collected from her own 
 writings. It may not be improper to obferve 
 alio, that this mode of compofmg a narrative, 
 by extracts from letters, will fome times be, 
 unavoidably attended with a want of clofe 
 connexion, and with a degree of repetition : 
 but as this was the only way by which a ma- 
 terial part of her labours could be brought 
 into view, it is hoped that thefe circumilances 
 w ill not be deemed of much confequence; and 
 that the deeply inftructive nature of her lite- 
 rary correfpondence, will fufficiently warrant 
 its publication.
 
 THE 
 
 LIFE 
 
 F 
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 Her Education. — Divine Vifttations. — Conficl arifng 
 from her natural Vivacity £sV. — Solid State of her 
 Mind in the early Part of Life. — Exercifes about 
 the Time of her jirjl Appearance in the Miniftry* 
 — Viftt to Part of the Counties of Wejlmoreland 
 and Cumberland. — Vifit to the Meetings of Chtfhire> 
 and a Part of thofe in Lancajhire, &c. 
 
 SARAH GRUBB, daughter of William and 
 Elizabeth Tuke, was born at York in Great 
 Britain, 20th of 6th month, in the year 1756. 
 
 In her tender years, fhe was deprived of her mo- 
 ther, who was removed from her by death, before 
 flie was five years old : but her father marrying 
 
 B
 
 z The LIFE of 
 
 again about the tenth year of her age, this lofs was, 
 Lmn that time, abundantly compenfated by the 
 maternal care and regard of a fecond mother •, of 
 whole tendernefs, and folicttude for her beft wel- 
 fare, ihe has left many grateful and affectionate 
 teftimonials. 
 
 The watchful and religious education with which 
 fhe was favoured, proved as a hedge round about 
 her, and, under divine care, prelerved her during 
 that dangerous feafon of life, from the many cor- 
 ruptions and follies, that abound in the world, and 
 to which unguarded young people are lbrrowfully 
 expofed. In the days of her youth, Ihe was often 
 made fenfible of the goodncl's of her heavenly Fa- 
 ther, and her eyes anointed to fee the emptinels 
 and delufion of all worldly enjoyments, and to be- 
 hold the beauty which there is in the truth •, and 
 ftrong defires were often in her mind, that 
 
 ihe might be thoroughly refined, and, even at the 
 lots of every thing elle, be made to poffefs the pearl 
 of great price. 
 
 Thefe gracious extenfions of divine regard met 
 with great oppofitton from the liveliiiefs of her dii- 
 poiition, and the ftrength of her natural power., \ 
 which occafioned the felf denying meeknefs and 
 ipli< ity of the chriftian life, to be to her an hard 
 attainment-, and many painful ftrugglcs ihe expe- 
 r: raced, before flic was made willing to yield up 
 every facrtfice, and to follow her Lord whitherfo- 
 ever he might be plcafed to lead. 
 
 During the laft illnefs of that eminent miniftcr, 
 John V- D, (he was, at times, favoured to wait
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 3 
 
 upon and afiift him. His faith and patience, with 
 the fweet favour of his pure fpirit, made a deep and 
 profitable impreffion on her mind ; exemplifying 
 the power and goodnefs of that divine hand, which 
 (he felt fecretly at work in her own heart, calling 
 her to newnefs of life, and holinefs before the Lord. 
 It was to her that this valuable friend, when near 
 the clofe of life, addreffed thofe comfortable ex- 
 preffions, which, indeed, may be called a bleffing : 
 « My child, thou feems very kind to me, a poor 
 creature ; the Lord will reward thee for it." 
 
 A deep fenfe of the purity of the divine life, and 
 a lively feeling of her own frailties, joined to an 
 earneft concern that fhe might become fully puri- 
 fied in heart and life, caufed great circumfpeclion and 
 fear, and made her often go mourning on her way. 
 This appears from the following extracts of divers 
 letters to her friends, written in early life, which, 
 in fome meafure, lhow the exercife, and ftate of her 
 mind, at that period ; and which may be accept- 
 able, as they ferve to exhibit the beginnings and 
 gradations of that work, which conlpicuoufly marked 
 the future periods of her life. 
 
 1772. " I feel thy bearing with my weak- 
 
 neflfes, and thy candor in judging of them, which 
 makes me the more ready to communicate what I 
 feel. Oh could I tell thee, it would be comfortable ! 
 But that which is felt and not underftood, can- 
 not be defcribed •, and, indeed, I begin to think a 
 ftate of infenfibiiity to what is good is approaching. 
 I may truly fay I dread it. May I, by that fear, 
 guard the more ; yet my infirmities feem fo jufc a 
 
 B 2
 
 4 '1 h t L [ F £ 
 
 caufc, that they arc numerous enough to deprefs the 
 little life that is left." 
 
 1772. " Thine has excited in mc the warm- 
 eft wi fh.es for the extendings of divine bounty, to 
 be enabled, with resignation and fortitude, to do, 
 b ar, or fuller, whatever it may pleafe the Father of 
 fpirits to inflict upon me. Yet 1 cannot but, with 
 confeious forrow, own the truth of thy remark, con- 
 1 *ning .1 too great anxiety for a larger portion of 
 the d< :igs of the Father's love, than is luit- 
 able in the light of an omnifcient Deity." 
 
 1773. " ^ ie'em recovering from my late 
 
 illnefs, a;ul have favourable fymptoms for life , but 
 for what kind of a one I know not. I am at a lofs 
 to lay whether it is a pleafing, or a painful profpect. 
 1 feel the cil'ects of both, and am read) to counte- 
 nance the latter, knowing there is fomething in my 
 nature, which is loth to be fubjected under that 
 power, which ought to actuate every part vA our de- 
 meanour; and there is nothing, th.it I know of, fo 
 contrary to my natural will, as that patiently wait- 
 ing, and quietly Imping, which thou mentions ; it 
 being, inly, preparatory to the work of refor- 
 
 mation in u> \ and if this be rightly performed, no 
 mundane enjoyment would be adequate to the loru- 
 tafte "t that confummate felicity, which I believe is the 
 • 1 fo d. iirable a work: and, indeed, without 
 1", . . v <»t that blening, even in my unworthy 
 
 !, this life, would be little fuperior to that (or 
 ild look. But O this glimpfe of hope, 
 b v.v ready are we to catch, though the twig be ever 
 .,, .. ader, and the profpeel ever I'o faint I yet there
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 5 
 
 is a danger of being deluded, as the Achrerfary is 
 ever ready to attack the weak part, and that is one 
 which is generally expoied, there being room in 
 the human breaft for fuch prepoffeffions. I ao 
 quiefce with thee, that it is in filence we enjoy 
 advantage, and in folitude we mufe the won- 
 ders of unfearchable wifdom. Could we but par- 
 take of a larger ihare of retirement, I am fenfible 
 the works of an almighty hand would have a greater 
 influence, and the mind would not be fo alien- 
 ated from this fource, this pleafing fource of every 
 joy." 
 
 1773. "Surely the commemoration of the 
 
 goodnefs of infinite wifdom, in favouring a large ihare 
 of the youth of our fociety with a virtuous and ibb^r 
 education, ought to infpire us with a willingnels to 
 imitate the bright examples we have, rather than 
 thofe, whofe lois we mould compaffionate; for many 
 are the irreligious principles, that the Adverfary is en- 
 deavouring to fuggeft in the minds of youth, more 
 efpecially when they are expofed to the tempeftuous 
 billows of an unftable world ; but happy is it for 
 thofe that refift the temptations, and furmount the 
 difficulties : if any may look to the recompenfe of 
 reward, 'tis certainly they. But for my part, I am 
 often afraid left I fhould grow like the heath in the 
 defert, that knoweth not when good cometh ; or that 
 the manifold favours fhould prove, as water fpilt 
 upon a ftone ; for I am fure there is a hardnefs 
 in the natural heart, not eafily penetrated •, and 
 though. I experimentally confefs it, yet I hope there 
 
 B 3
 
 6 The LIFE of 
 
 are many, on the other hand, who can fay, tluy 
 witnefs the returning from their gatherings with 
 friends, as arifing from the wafhing pool." 
 
 1774. " We certainly reap the grcateft ad- 
 vantages from a friend, when the mind and natural 
 flow of fpirits are moft deprefied. It is at thefe 
 feafons we hear the intelligible language of fympa- 
 thy, in its pleafing notes, and look upon friendflup 
 in its exalted ftation. A view of thefe enjoyments 
 excited me to tafte their fruits, (which are the dif- 
 clofure of our minds) by opening the fountain of 
 forrows, and unlocking the fpring of painful feel- 
 ings. That they may overflow the banks of my 
 pleafures, and bring down the tall cedars of Leba- 
 non, laying waftc the hills and the mountains, and 
 eftablifhing in the room, that Rock whereon the church 
 mud be built, is the fwaying inclination of my heart. 
 But how apt arc we to turn our feet from the path 
 which is narrow ; being unwilling to make ftraight 
 fteps, a thing moft repugnant to our unregenerate 
 wills ! We therefore cull out every difcouragement, 
 and ftumble at the fmalleft ftone ; each profpect ap- 
 peal ing in its gloomieft colours, or rather, our eyes 
 being dimmed by the glitter of worldly objects, and 
 inexperienced in the joys accruing from faithfulnefs, 
 we fee them not." 
 
 1775. " Though trials and conflicts arc 
 
 allotted to the faithful followers, yet they rife, as 
 with froncs of memorial, from the bottom of Jordan ; 
 
 •-11 aku ! T, and fuch like, inftead of being bene- 
 fitted by thefe baptifms, find them unplcafing and 
 contrary to our natural propcnlitics, and fo fhun
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 7 
 
 them, for a more eafy way to peace •, but cannot 
 fuch be met with in a ltraight place, where neither 
 the devices of the creature, nor the pleafures of the 
 world, can refcue them from the pains of a wound- 
 ed confcience ? "When I look at thefe things, and 
 conllder how intricate the path to our real happinefs 
 is, it makes me frequently fay in my heart, « blef- 
 fed are the dead that have died in the Lord." 
 
 1775. " My m i n d was often with you yef- 
 
 terday, though I could not thereby partake of the 
 valuable company of our dear friends ; but I hope 
 many that are more worthy did : for certainly the 
 fociety of thofe labourers in the great vineyard, 
 muft be pleating and instructive ; yet, at times, we 
 feel a mortification in their abfence, which, if fuffer- 
 ed to have its proper effect, might be a means of 
 exciting us to feek after an inward communion with 
 the fource of all good, the fpirit of truth, which is 
 pure and unmixed with human propenfities. But 
 I am afraid that I am fpeaking more from hearing 
 the experiences of others, than from my own j for 
 I know the language of this internal monitor is not 
 intelligible, without the mind be prepared by the 
 fubjection of its will, and all its powers yield to the 
 Supreme : and this Hate I am fo often deprived of, 
 by the predominance of felf, that it feems hard 
 to fay, whether I ever rightly enjoy this divine 
 privilege." 
 
 1777. " When we are favoured to feel an. 
 
 internal communion, an intercourfe incomprehenil- 
 bie, 'tis indeed attended with rejoicing of heart. A 
 
 B 4
 
 S TheLIFEof 
 
 flate which I can impute to no good caufe, frequent- 
 ly accompanies me, in which it would be hard tor 
 me to fay, I love my friends ; but perhaps it is a 
 conltitutional ftupidity, which nothing but the imme- 
 diate operations of truth can diveft of; and it is only 
 during the overfhadowings thereof, that the ufeful 
 faculties of my mind are applied to good purpofes ; 
 for the fpring of thy S. T.'s machinery are indeed 
 weak, and daily require a fupernatural aid ; but 
 when wifdom utters her voice, when the gentle 
 tnovings of uncreated purity have gained our ear, 
 what obduracy does it require to refill its energetic 
 language, and lightly efteem the offers of perma- 
 nent peace ! My heart glows with an earnefr. folici- 
 tude, that we, my dear friend, may never faint in 
 our purfuit after celeftial treafure, but refignedly 
 furrender our whole aifections to the gracious difpo- 
 fer, and prcferver of his people j then, I doubt not, 
 our union will increafe, in the increafe of purity, and 
 our joy and rejoicing in the fruition of reward, will be 
 of that nature with which the ftranger doth not 
 intermeddle." 
 
 In the twenty third year of her age, flue appeared 
 in the miniftry. For this awful fervice fhe had 
 been prepared, by the great head of the church, 
 with deep and humbling baptifms of fpirit. But as 
 fiie continued patient and faithful, under this prov- 
 ing difpenfation, ihc experienced divine fupport, was 
 gracioufly brought through all, ami enabled to ftand 
 acC ( caufe of truth and righteoufnefs on 
 
 h.
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 9 
 
 The clofe trials and humiliations of her fpirit 
 about this time, are, in fome degree teftified, by the 
 following felections from her letters, to fome of her 
 near, fympathizing friends. And though thei'e ex- 
 tracts are of coniiderable extent, it is hoped their 
 inftrucHve tendency will warrant the infertion of 
 them thus at large. 
 
 1778. " I don't know but a little love for 
 
 my friends, and fenfibility of their favours, are the 
 only virtues I poffels, and, confequently, all that I 
 can derive any good from : for to my dear friend, to 
 whom my heart hath ever been open, I may con- 
 fefs, that whatever has heretofore felt like life, or 
 been a participation of eternal fubftance, (though 
 alwavs fmall, and no doubt the food convenient for 
 me) is now entirely extinguiihed ; and the law, 
 the teftimony, and the effufions of fome little fecret 
 devotion, are all as fprings fhut up, and fountains 
 fealed. Thou art experienced, and tried with many 
 deep baptifms, with wants and with aboundings ; 
 but perhaps fuch a Hate of infenlibility to, and deler- 
 tion of, all that feems good and valuable, was never 
 feen meet for thee ; thy reiignednefs rather bringing 
 thee its rewards, thofe of true obedience, which 
 have built up and compacted as a Jerufalem, the 
 foundations whereof are fure. But if thou knew 
 the different fztuation of my poor toiled mind, it 
 would, I believe, excite a degree of thy fympathy, 
 and fear that the Tempter will wholly overcome : for 
 now, in this time of deep poverty, the world ban 
 indeed occupied much room, and what may be 
 
 B 5
 
 io The LIFE of 
 
 called the enjoyments of It, are as day fettering that 
 part appointed for immortality." " I often won- 
 der when better times will come; when, in truth, 
 we can adopt the language of the juft to their anci- 
 ent fource : " fpring up, O well, ling ye unto it !" 
 But how can my humiliation be deep enough, when 
 I confefs, that this fountain appears to be to me, 
 neither ancient nor new ?" 
 
 1778. M There is, I believe, an holy inter- 
 course and communion experienced by thofe whole 
 language is iimiiar and pure, whole feet are cftubliih- 
 ed upon the immovable Rock, and whole teacher 
 and ftrength is the Sovereign Lord. This is, I 
 doubt not, one of their rewards ; but its fanc r tity, its 
 
 ned and exalted nature, ieems to exclude me 
 from the participation thereof; for I may confefs, 
 the painful experience of my mind is often under 
 fuch a ftate of defertion from infinite goodneis, that 
 I icarce dare look rewards his holy temple, or ad- 
 . Is. him, but in Gghs unutterable." 
 
 1778. u Let us travel, unitedly travel for- 
 ward in the path of humble obedience, which tho' 
 tribulatedj and thofc that walk in it have often to 
 
 lerience a (hare of this legacy, M In the world ye 
 thai] have trouble," yet the annexed peace, the 
 
 ad that is handed in fecrct, and the joy with 
 which a ftrangcr doth not intermeddle, arc finely 
 fiiiTicient rewards in this life, and an earncft of that 
 whicb is to come, that glorious referve of immortal 
 blifs. I fed a r I Miutudc than words can 
 
 defcribe, that we may, unitedly, be entitled to it, 
 and partake thereof, and that we may fed this ctr-
 
 SARAH GRUBB. n 
 
 tain mark, that we love one another, even with that 
 love which will fubflft beyond the grave. But I 
 wonder how arofe thefe feniations, for I daily con- 
 clude myfelf deftitute of any that are good ; and in 
 the abfence of him whom I wilh to be to me the 
 chief of ten thoufand, I implore the path of obfcu- 
 rity, and, with the mournful prophet, exclaim in my 
 lonefome habitation, the fecret of my heart, " Oh 
 that I had in the wildernefs a lodging place ! but 
 alas ! this will not do, this is not the will of him 
 who deilres, not to take us out of the world, but to 
 preferve us from the evil that is therein. It is the 
 path of fuffering, it is the crofs and the fhame that 
 we recoil at ; and for want of true dedication of 
 heart, many deep and hidden forrows are ours." 
 
 1 779- " To inform thee, my dear friend, 
 
 of the fecret path I have trod of late, is a thing 
 which I know thy good fenfe, and experience in 
 the myfteries of godlinefs, will prevent thy requir- 
 ing. In the facred union, we fee the neceffity of 
 the leaven being hid, which cements together and 
 brings our nature into a onenefs, till the whole lump 
 is fancYified. Under this apprehenfion, I have of 
 Jate been led to endure many new and fevere con- 
 flicts, without daring to feek con Ablation, fave from 
 that fountain, which iffues in the right time, an 
 inexhauftible ftrearn *, but to which I am ready to 
 conclude, I am not entitled to approach." 
 
 1779. "I lately thought the bleffing that was 
 
 craved for us-, was abundantly fhed, and our walk- 
 ing feemed, a little, as if it was by the pillar and the 
 cloud j but now, the fun and the moon, even thofe
 
 i2 The LIFE or 
 
 heavenly bodies which are univcrfally diffufed, have, 
 from our eye, withdrawn their- light. For my part, 
 1 have feveral times concluded, the work is done; 
 and if it be fuificiently, 1 am glad ; but when it 
 feels like the defcription of meat and drink, there 
 wants, not only patience, but refignation ; an at- 
 tainment which appears to me to be a degree harder 
 than the other. Oh may we walk in the way caft 
 up for us, and may we, now our Mules is with- 
 drawn, be preferred from making a iikenefs !" 
 
 '* A fouth land" will, I hope, yield thee " fprings 
 of water:"' they require hard digging for here ; but 
 the fountain is found to be fo deep when come 
 at, that we need not be afraid of the labour. 
 But i have nothing to boaft of, for the refreihing 
 influence of the waters of this fountain, has, I doubt 
 not, been wifely withheld from me ; and to have a 
 channel ready lor their return, is, wh.it I endea\our, 
 though feebly, to preferve^' 
 
 17-9. " My mind has been, for fome time, 
 
 ' le 1 f deriving any fatisfaction, from either the 
 
 Millie with, or confolation of afriend. And not 
 
 having any deiire to feek comfort, or ha-\c any, but 
 
 from the fount. .in of it, filence was not only mo ft 
 
 « at with my judgment, but moft eafy to my- 
 
 felf, if 1 found any thing that could hear that cha- 
 
 er. Flood <t iftrefi have indeed nearly over- 
 
 Imed me, and 1 know not where to turn, or 
 
 win n to look; I ab I myfelf, and beheld not 
 
 the power that could purify. " When I I for 
 
 n :, then e\ I for light, behold»there 
 
 was darkni fs."
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 13 
 
 1779. " I went to meeting yefterday morn- 
 ing, with, I thought, fome degree of devoted nefs, 
 and for fome time fat in darknefs j but after a deep 
 labour of mind, there felt fomething to gather about 
 me ; and with it came my deep rooted diflike to 
 the work ; which fo ftrove with the other, that for 
 a time, enduring a ftate of agony, the meeting broke 
 up. On going in the afternoon, I concluded myfelf 
 given up, and little expected to feel any thing again 
 at that time : but after fitting a while, the matter 
 again returned, and would, I believe, have terminat- 
 ed the fame way, had not a friend ftood up with the 
 paffage, "He that knew his Lord's will and prepared 
 not himfelf, neither did according to his will, fhall 
 be beaten with many ftripes." This did indeed 
 come home, and fo operated with what was already 
 kindled, that, after fuch a conflict as I have caufe 
 ever to remember, I ventured upon my knees, and, 
 in a manner I believe fcarcely intelligible, poured out 
 a few petitions. Now I feel in fuch a ftate of hu- 
 miliation and fear, as I never before experienced ; 
 and my ftrength, both natural and fpiritual, fo 
 low, that the floods are ready to come upon me 
 again." 
 
 1780. " I often keep filence, and find my- 
 felf a fubject copious enough for meditation, which is 
 not always of the pleafing kind ; but I endeavour to 
 pafs along as quietly as I can ; it being feldom 
 my lot to experience much fympathy or fellow- 
 fhip with my friends, and, confequently, I cannot 
 expect to derive much from theirs. And yet for all
 
 14 The LIFE of 
 
 this, I do not mean to complain, but am abundantly 
 convinced, that I lived upon this pleafant fruit, this 
 fenfible union, long enough ; and to know the want 
 of it, is, I doubt not, fomctimes as neceffary as its free 
 circulation, which m;iy perhaps return in its fcafon, 
 •when it may prove like the dew of Hermon." 
 
 1780. " I cannot but fear thy apprehen- 
 
 fions of my alliance to a ftate of properly attained 
 peace, arife more from thy good wifhes to mc, as an 
 individual, and from that univerfal love, which is 
 impreft with a fenfe of the benevolent extendings of 
 divine regard, that defires all may partake as at the 
 river of life freely, than from a juft fenfe of the 
 real filiation of my mind ; which has not yet cart 
 its fackcloth covering, nor received a garment of 
 praife. And as this change cannot be effected, but 
 by the miraculous power of the dh ine arm, I wifh 
 only to feek for it from this fource of ftrength ; and 
 if it be my lot to go foftly all the days of my 
 life, in the bitternefs of my foul, I wifh to fub- 
 mit to this allotment, and endure the neceffary turn- 
 ings of the divine hand : but Oh! that I had in the 
 wildernefs a lodging place, that no eye might fee, 
 nor ear hear, the imperfect ftate of a heart, the 
 depths of whofe diftrefs, omnipotence only can 
 fathom." 
 
 1780. "When thy letter, before this laft 
 
 reached me, it was my full intention to have re- 
 plied to it very foon ; but in this, as in the moft 
 important and ncceflary purfuits the human mind 
 can have, the fpirit of procraftination prevailed •, 
 ▼/hich I generally find is the cafe, when the firft
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 15 
 
 ability the mind pofTefTes to do good, is not accepted. 
 This is a reflection I have often painfully to make, be- 
 caufe its fubject never fails to impart a feeling feme 
 of weaknefs ; and when we consider it properly, 
 that our being here is uncertain, and that the time, 
 wherein we can acquire durable riches, is, though 
 fufflcient for the work defigned us, fhort and fleet- 
 ing, we can fcarce quench an impuife to vigilance, or 
 view ourfelves in any other light, than fojourners in 
 a land of exile, where the fpirit that is pure, and the 
 light which is the life of men, is opprefTed and reject- 
 ed, becaufe to the natural eye, it hath neither form 
 nor comelinefs. I may, to my dear friend confefs, 
 that my travel hath long been through a wafte 
 howling wildernefs, where, (though furrounded with 
 innumerable bleflings) my mind hath been led moft- 
 ly to feel itfelf like a pelican, and to wifh for an 
 outward fituation fimilarly obfcure, that I might for 
 ever be hid from the eyes of men, of whom I often 
 feel a fear that baffles defcription ; but as this allot- 
 ment has not fallen out for me, there feems no way, 
 but limply to attend to that impuife which I have 
 apprehended to be divine, and at the fame time 
 am thoroughly willing to be convinced, is not. Thy 
 wifh, that faith may be equal to the trials of my 
 day, was peculiarly applicable ; for could I give thee 
 an idea, how often I am ready to fink in the depths 
 of diftrefs, when the weeds are indeed wrapped 
 about my head, and all fupports are either refufed or 
 withdrawn, thou would readily conclude me fhort 
 of faith, and patience too. But no language is able 
 to fet forth that fituation of mind, when the wifdora
 
 16 The L I F E of 
 
 which is from above, and that which is from be- 
 neath arc ltruggling for victory. It is truly a fiery 
 trial, but one which I fear will never in me confume 
 all the reprobate iilver. I have ltumblcd on a fubject, 
 which I had no thoughts of even hinting at, when I 
 began ; but in confidence and freedom I have often 
 been led to open my mind to thee, and I truft That, 
 wherein we were heretofore united] will not fail to 
 ftrengthen our bond, and open to us a channel of 
 converfe, more hidden and pure than we have yet 
 altogether experienced ; and a fellowship which is 
 only underftood, when the myfteries of the true 
 church are opened. Tell me, my beloved friend ! 
 art thou paffing through this wildernefs, and often 
 ready to faint for want of water? If fo, allow me 
 to lay, prolong not thy journey there, through a 
 fcarfulncls of taking thy poffefTums in the promifed 
 land, nor of the inhabitants which are to be fubdued 
 before it can be enjoyed j for I truft no tranfient, 
 fading joy, can yield thy mind that peace it defires : 
 wherefore let not thy hands hang down, but 
 rather put on ftrength, in the name of him who is 
 able to help, and in whom is the fulnefs of power, 
 and be ftrong and work ; for I believe it is a day, in 
 which this command is gone forth to thofe whofe 
 hands are not polluted, and whofe language is not 
 that of confufion. Deep are the baptifms of fuch, 
 or how could they be fitted to (land in that day of 
 trial which is, with a gradual and fleady pace ap- 
 proaching, if not rooted and eftablifhed upon that 
 Rock, againfi which the gates of hell can never pre- 
 vail. And though thei'e, for the prefent, have to
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 17 
 
 drink of that cup of adverfity, whereof our holy pat- 
 tern firfl: tafted, and have to be baptized with the 
 baptifm he was baptized with, yet, in the immediate 
 revival of his promifes, from that comforter which 
 he has fent, there remains to be confolation." 
 
 In the 4th month 1780, with the approbation of 
 the monthly meeting, and in company with her 
 mother, fhe was engaged in a religious vifit to 
 friends in the counties of Weftmoreland and Cum- 
 berland. 
 
 The following extracts contain the material parts 
 of what are collected, from her own account of her 
 concern in this vifit. 
 
 " The meeting at Bowes was trying, though 
 
 I believe fatisfactory to my mother. For my part, I 
 had deep heart-felt mortification, (which I have 
 been very little free from fince) and went very much 
 fatigued to bed, it being ten at night when the meet- 
 ing broke up, and we had a hard day's work in tra- 
 velling. Next morning, we fat a little with a fchool- 
 mafler and his wife, to whom there was much open- 
 nefs to communicate clofe counfel, as well as encou- 
 ragement. Next day we went to Penrith, where we 
 ftaid over firft day, and had two fuffering meetings ; 
 in both which I felt a greater unwillingnefs to fub- 
 mit to a neceuary wading of fpirit, than I can de- 
 fcribe ; for really, the fpring of life requires fuch 
 digging for, in places where the fubftance of religion 
 is departed from, and only the image retained, that, 
 in this exercife, I frequently felt ready to faint, and 
 always engage with it in great dread ; becaufe it 
 oppofes that natural part, which would keep the
 
 1 8 T h e L I F E o r 
 
 houfe in peace, and be free from all thcfe troubles. 
 However, I felt more eafe of mind in the evening 
 than I could have expected, having drank tea at 
 the houfe of a widow friend, and bad an open, 
 favoured opportunity amongft her daughters, fede- 
 ral of whom appear to be under a frefh vifitation. 
 
 We were at the monthly meeting at and 
 
 a mo ft painful, trying time it was : but after much 
 labour, and deep fufiering, the right thing got up- 
 permost, and though the other was not (lain, it was a 
 favour thct it did not altogether rule. Oh the un- 
 tempered mortar there is in that place, and the un- 
 foundnefs almoft from the crown of the head, to 
 the fole of the foot ! I ventured to ftammer out 
 what appeared, though in a manner fcarcely intelli- 
 gible, and in great fear, having previoufly had fpeci- 
 mens of offerings, which carried not the evidence of 
 having been prepared at the altar, and which in- 
 deed often create the query, " who mail ftand ?" 
 
 " Longtown * was, as I expected, a place 
 
 of fome fuffering to me ; but I could not have ex- 
 pected to have felt myfelf fuch a fpcckled bird as I 
 did, though I kept myfelf much to myfelf: but it 
 was impoffible to keep as retired as was deferable, 
 nor were my motives for it juftifiable, being only to 
 fhun the appearance of a fool, amongft a let of wife 
 and fine folks, whom we had at our inn. Indeed, 
 a ftatc of deep heartfelt mortification has been my 
 lot, moftly, fincc I faw you •, but as the caufe, with- 
 out doubt, originates in the impurity of my own 
 mind, I ought to be thankful for difpenfations fo ne- 
 
 * The northern yearly meeting was then held there.
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 19 
 
 cefiary, though hard to bear j for furely there 
 never was any, to whom the fimplicity of truth 
 was fo ir'kfome, and who caufed themfelves fuch 
 deep and hidden conflicts as myfelf. When one is 
 got over, and another approaches, that difpofition, 
 which loves not forrow, but would walk eafily 
 through life, is ready, in the remembrance of what 
 it has fuffered, t<U*ay, like the king appointed for 
 deftruclion, I thought the bitternefs of death was 
 paft; but Oh! how many ftrokes do I need to 
 accomplifh this death ! It has been hard for me 
 to have my mind bent under any degree of that 
 weight and fufFering, which are generally neceffary 
 to feel, before the fpring is found to be opened, or 
 any circulation of divine life experienced : becaufe 
 flefh and blood cannot aid in this labour, and, its 
 ftrength being fet at nought, it wars with the fpi- 
 rit : in the feeling whereof, I am often ready to 
 faint. Oh ! that my feet may ftand faft in the 
 bottom of Jordan ; that I may neither flinch from 
 a neceffary wading of fpirit, nor be overpowered 
 with the floods of the mighty deep ; and, above all, 
 that I may be preferved from uttering words with- 
 out life, for truly, "I am a child !" 
 
 « When I wrote you laft, my mind was 
 
 indeed in a fad fpot •, the billows feemed to go over 
 my head, and life felt almoft to be a burden ; for I 
 could not at that time, look at our going to White- 
 haven without the view of vifiting the families, and 
 that work appeared fo ungrateful to me, that I could 
 not bear the thoughts of having any thing to do 
 in it. However, I endeavoured to forget it, and to 
 confider that if the thing was right, it would be got
 
 29 The LIFE' of 
 
 through, and that fomebodv*, better able and better 
 lkilled than mvfelf, would have the burden to bear, 
 and the work to do ; and that if I got mortified 
 with having fomething to do, now and then, the 
 vifit might be of as much benefit to me as to tbc 
 whole meeting befules. Thus I endeavoured to reft 
 it, when my mind would fubmit to think coolly on 
 the fubject; and indeed I had almoft loft the painful 
 impreilion when we got to Whitehaven, till we 
 both felt it in the forenoon meeting on ill day, 
 with this concluiion, that to yield was the only way 
 to leave the place in peace. My mother having 
 previous to her view of this vifit, concluded to have 
 a meeting at Maryport on 3d day, found herlelf 
 moft eafy to purfue that plan, and accordingly we 
 went on 2d day afternoon. We found that the 
 right time was fixed on for Maryport, and a favour- 
 ed meeting it was, there being much opennefs to 
 labour, indeed far more than in fome pi here a 
 
 greater appearance is retained •, but where, it is for- 
 rowfully to be felt, the mighty arc fallen, and tribes 
 are lacking amongft them. There arc many fuch 
 places in this county, as well as in ours ; and under 
 a fenfe thereof, we have known a going bowed 
 down all the day long. After this meeting, we 
 returned to, and proceeded in, the work at White- 
 haven. The labours in this vifit were of the mor- 
 tifying kind, and required a continual cxercife of 
 both faith and patience : becaufe we had generally 
 to fit where the people fat, which v fcen in 
 
 difmal places -, but being, I truft, in the right li: 
 it will be made more profitable than could then be
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 21 
 
 feen. It got finiihed on 6th clay, and in the even- 
 ing there was a meeting appointed to begin at 
 5 o'clock •, which was, like all the vilit before, a 
 fuffering meeting ; but I hope the rightly concerned 
 in that place, will reap the benefit of it, for it was, 
 though painful, a remarkable time. It is with a 
 degree of thankfulnefs I may acknowledge, that I 
 felt in this vilit, a greater resignation to what I ap- 
 prehended was the divine will, than I ever experi- 
 enced before ; and I can, now it is over; cheerfully 
 fubmit to the belief, that I was of no uie, (if even 
 preferved from doing harm) but that the thing was 
 made ufeful to me, in fubjecting my own mind, and 
 teaching me, by a little more experience, the true way 
 to wifdom, which is firft becoming a fool. This ftate 
 of preparation I expect to be in, all my life long ; 
 but I wifh, (with a fear) that it may be fo abode in, 
 as to obtain the prize at laft. Well, this trial is 
 over, with being reiufed, reviled, and fought with as 
 by beafts at Ephelus ; yet thefe are fmall troubles in- 
 deed, when compared with the enemies of our own 
 houfes, that hoft of oppoiition which is often hard to 
 prefs through. This woe is pail, and I pray in my 
 heart that another of the fame kind may not foon 
 come ; for though I was favoured to feel it made 
 much eafier to me than I could have expected, yet 
 the work of viiiting families has always, flnce I was led 
 ferioufly to confider it, appeared to be fo awful, and 
 to require the royal fignet to be fo evidently affixed, 
 that the fear is great, of either moving without it, 
 or being concerned in fo momentous a work, when
 
 22 The LIFE of 
 
 there is not ftrength enough to fupport, and wifdom 
 to teach." 
 
 On th/ir way home, they felt a concern to viiit 
 the families of friends at Kendal; near the conclu- 
 iion of which, (he fays, " The fpirits and body 
 feem both ready to fail under the prefent exercife ; 
 but we have no reafon to repent engaging with it ; 
 for, thus far, we have experienced ftrength fufficient 
 for the day." Soon after her return from this jour- 
 ney, ihe writes concerning it as follows : " After 
 many clofe exercifes and deep trials, mine chiefly of 
 my own making, we are now enjoying a good degree 
 of peaceful ierenity, and though (I think) iuflici- 
 ently ftripped, yet we feem pretty clear of any pain- 
 ful reflections on the paft allotment. 
 
 Towards the latter end of the year 1780, ihe 
 came under a religious concern to join her friend 
 and relative T. Hoyland, in a viiit to the meetings 
 of Chelliire, and a part of thole in Li lire. And 
 
 having the concurrence of t) mthly meeting, 
 
 and a certificate thereof", ihe let I 1 to engage 
 
 in this fervice, in the 12th month. The eniuing 
 parts of her letters cm the fubjec"c, ifford fome ac- 
 
 int of this journey, and ' the Qtuation of her 
 mind, under the profpect of the work before her, 
 aji.l in the profecution and 1 tion thereof. 
 
 " Cheshire has long atti Sb I my mind, 
 
 an i of late more than ufual > and on my COufifl 
 T. II. laying a uxntlar concern before m , th ii feel- 
 
 ingl revivcl with fbme weight; and not without 
 
 a great fear left, (thoi gh the impulie might he 
 
 right) the time and companion might not be in the
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 23 
 
 fame appointment : and hence appeared the necef- 
 fity of having it hewed and fquared. 
 
 " It is only in a little faith that I look 
 
 towards the journey in profpec~t, and at the rectitude 
 of it ; and though I fear it is not equal to a grain of 
 muftard feed, yet I think I am thankful for this 
 little : and fince it has been received, and the affair 
 mentioned, a degree of peacefulnefs and quietude 
 hath attended my mind, which is all the light I find 
 upon it ; and which requires fometimes, all my vi- 
 gilance to retain, left the floods from the mouth of 
 the dragon fhould overwhelm, and caft away that 
 little ftrength that is at prefent afforded ; and in- 
 ftead of adding thereto by devotednefs, to be any 
 thing or nothing, leave me toifed upon the unftable 
 element, where neither rock nor fhore can fometimes 
 be perceived." 
 
 " It was not indeed the leaft of my con- 
 cern, or rather diflike, to fubmit to the thoughts of 
 going to fome places in Lancashire, which I had in 
 view ; for, indeed, that feemed not much lefs than 
 giving up my life : and this proceeded from consi- 
 derations which I think thou canft hardly fhare, 
 having furmounted many of the difficulties and mor- 
 tifications which appear very formidable to me. But 
 when we have fuffered for difobedience, and are fa- 
 voured with a view of the rewards of the faithful, 
 and are likewife convinced of the importance of our 
 duties, though ever fo fmall in appearance ; when our 
 nothingnefs is Sufficiently felt, and our minds im- 
 prefTedwith the awfulnefs of the divine requirings; life 
 itfelf looks but a fmall facrifice, and fo reafonable, that
 
 ^4 The LIFE of 
 
 there is no excufe for withholding it, especially that 
 inward exiltence which docs not co-work with the 
 life of true religion". 
 
 " From Ackworth, I had a companion 
 
 •who imparted lome good and wholefome counfcl to 
 me, and more encouragement, than I could have 
 looked for ; but my lecret fitting was in the dull, 
 and much gloom itemed to cover my little views. I 
 reflected on the preceding evening, and found its 
 enjoyment was then like manna two days old, having 
 loll both favour and nourifhmeat ; and inftcad of a 
 renewal of the lame, a fall was difpenfed, the caufe 
 of which I mult leave ; hut it is a painful one, 
 and if I had felt myl'elf before I left home, as I have 
 done fince, it is much if the venture had been made. 
 Could I believe that this is any thing like going 
 forth without either fcrip or purfe, I fhould perhaps 
 be more reconciled. I am thankful that, in every ftate 
 I have lome degree of the comfortable impreflion, 
 that unity i ; ; and though mine is not of the 
 
 moll kind, yet in a renewed feeling of my 
 
 , I cannot but wilh, that we may be lb willing 
 to fuller together, and frequently to go down to 
 the potter's home, to be there fafhi >;. .,' and formed 
 cither for vcll-.ls of honour or difhonour, (as may 
 belt pleafe him who hath power over the day) 
 that we may alio c ncc an humble afcent to the 
 
 houfe of true prayer, an 1 a rejoicing tog< then My 
 r words to relieve, but being con- 
 vinced thai there is a betl :r ind more rc-lined inter- 
 coun ■ than this, a communion which, proportioned
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 25 
 
 to our obedience, is pure and edifying, I wifh in that 
 to remember, and be remembered." 
 
 " We went to Lowlayton on 6th day, and 
 
 found there but one family of friends, who came in 
 by convincement. It was a comfortable place ; for 
 their fimplicity and integrity rendered their cottage 
 an agreeable manfion, in which there was nothing 
 painful to be felt. The meeting there next day, was 
 much larger than we looked for, many people in the 
 neighbourhood coming in, whole folid, innocent 
 countenances, were, I thought, as likely to do us 
 good, as we to do them any. It was a fatisfactory 
 meeting, and afforded fome encouragement to pro- 
 ceed. We went to Stockport on 7th day afternoon; 
 the meeting on firft day was a painful, trying one, 
 and yet ftrength was not withheld. From Maccles- 
 field we came to Leek, and have juft finifhed (ex- 
 cept one family) a vifit to the families here. We 
 have had eight fittings to day, befides the week- 
 day meeting, which has been clofe work. We are 
 however (and have caufe to be) thankful, that 
 ftrength equal to the undertaking has been afforded; 
 and though we have been deeply tried, yet, upon 
 the whole, I believe we may acknowledge, that we 
 have lacked nothing, and have been much united to 
 a few in this place. This work cf vifiting fami- 
 lies, is the laft I fhould choofe for myfelf, if I might 
 be my own choofer ; but as it is wrong to defire that 
 indulgence, I fee I may as well give myfelf up to 
 what appears in the line of duty. — It is with thank- 
 fulnefs of heart, that I acknowledge myfelf in a tole- 
 
 C
 
 26 The L I F E o f 
 
 rable degree of health, through many different dif- 
 penfations which have fallen to my lot fince 1 law 
 you ; for there have been experienced a -wanting, 
 and a l'ulhcient abounding; but I wiih I could add, 
 that in every ftate I have learned to be content. 
 Great indeed hath been the condefcenlion of him 
 who is pleafed to make ufe of poor, weak inftru- 
 ments, and by things which not only appear low and 
 contemptible, but are {o in reality, to bring to 
 nought, and reduce things that are mountains in 
 profpect ; proving to us a prefent help in every 
 needful time, and, by his invifible power, urcngth- 
 ening us when we are ready to faint in our minds. 
 And lull greater, I may acknowledge, hath appeared 
 his wifdom in deeply trying us, or however mylelf, 
 with the moil abject: poverty and ftrippednefs of 
 mind •, indeed fo much fo, that I think I never be- 
 fore experienced fuch humility, in a fenfe of myfelf, 
 and, under the convincing proof, that of ourfelves 
 we can do nothing. This is a (ituation wherein we 
 fee whence all good comes, and the neceflity of caft- 
 ing ourfelves fo wholly upon the divine arm, as to 
 have no confidence in the fleih. No difpenfation, how- 
 ever dcfirable the enjoyment of good may be, feems 
 fo much to drive us to the root of life, if we endea- 
 vour Sufficiently to profit by it ; anil confequently, 
 none that we ought to be fo thankful for, when our 
 hearts are capable of feeling true gratitude; for he 
 who knows the weaknefs of our frames, and is 
 touched with a feeling of our infirmities, fees what 
 we can bear, and knows how frail we are. Thus have 
 
 I, in this little journey, been wifely taught, through
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 27 
 
 many trials, to live by faith ; and thus far, in re- 
 flecting on the paft, to own I have lacked nothing. 
 But we are abundantly convinced, that they who 
 are fent out in this day, to a people who have, in a 
 great meafure, forfaken both law and teftimony, and 
 what is ftill worfe, fee not their ftates, but are fecure 
 in themfelves, have not to eat much pleafant bread : 
 for I think I may fay, it hath often been our lots to 
 go bowed down all the day long, and to mourn in a 
 deep {ci\{"e of the great defolation which overfpreads 
 the fociety : infomuch, that we often admire that 
 there fhould be any fent out to vifit them, and that 
 the feet of thofe that are rightly fhod, fhould not 
 more generally be turned to others : for from thefe, 
 there are the greateft hopes in this county, which is 
 likely, in many places, to be left defolate of friends 
 who keep their places. We have, however, in a few 
 of the meetings which we have laft attended, been 
 agreeably disappointed, in finding more preferved or 
 quickened by the life of religion, than we expected •, 
 and it hath been our lot to vifit thefe, as well as a 
 very contrary fort, by families. A very trying 
 work it hath been, and it is not yet done. In it I 
 have often lamented, left for want of that fpirit of 
 difcerning, with which the prophet was endued, 
 when he went to anoint one of the fons of JefTe, 
 there fhould not be a right divifion of the word, 
 and thereby much harm be done. And under this 
 confideration, great abafednefs hath attended my 
 mind, and a defire that the fleece may be tried both 
 wet and dry. We left Namptwich undone, and 
 
 C 2
 
 28 The LIFE of 
 
 i •' even d, to return to it no more ; 
 
 but now I have to confefs, we are on our way thither. 
 It is however a favour, that, 1 -ough all, 
 to feel and fympathize one with an< • I mean 
 
 ion and felf, and that our little lervices 
 have been harmonious ■> and if we keep near 
 
 r\;ng arm which hath been with us, I doubt 
 not but • i conti: , for 
 
 in unity, if it be of the right kind, there is certainly 
 
 .;'.." " We got to iManclufter, after a 
 
 : of many probations, \ ended better than 
 
 we could have looked for, at the beginning of it, 
 when our fa .ere ready to I ind the bi. 
 
 to run over cur , in the feeling 
 
 of what we had already fu . membering 
 
 the alHiclion and diitrefs, the wormwood and the 
 gall. C re humbled in the proipeel of 
 
 an opening field; but I truit it was He who com- 
 manded the waves to be ftill, that thefe floods, 
 and d a degree of fait! • ".ce to per- 
 fevcre in the t ited way. What need there is to 
 
 ar to the fountain of life, and to receive our 
 refrt. from it! becaufe from thence 
 
 only, arife our frefli :s, and immortal food ; 
 
 which, though the brc-nl of adverfity and the v. 
 of a: from this fcurce, it is no 
 
 acious to i , and 
 
 building us up, ' on with divine 
 
 purity. Our I :ub!e of • 
 
 concerning the \ ■: the difp< 9 of pr 
 
 kn w juently, 
 
 cannot prefcril I i ourfclyes. How pafBve then,
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 2 ? 
 
 and how like little children, fhould we be to him 
 that fearcheth the heart ? but I am often afraid, left, 
 by indulging my own ideas of what is good, and not 
 labouring after a total refignation of mind, but 
 wanting to have things in my own way, I fhould 
 fruftrate the divine intention, which may be to hum- 
 ble and reduce felf, more than flefh and blood 
 would point out. The great meetings we meet with, 
 are almoft overmuch for us, and what made it ftill 
 worfe to us at Liverpool, was a funeral in the after- 
 noon, and a vaft number of people. We little 
 thought when we fixed to ftay over 2d day at 
 Manchefter, that we fhould have one to attend 
 there, which is the cafe this afternoon, and how 
 it will be got over, I know not. If we may but 
 be favoured to be rightly quiet, it is all we defire j 
 and if we cannot be that, it is certainly our beft 
 way, as far as we are able, to take up the crofs, 
 and defpife the fhame ; which fometimes feels great, 
 and at others, I may thankfully acknowledge, is in 
 a great meafure removed : but then, what need 
 there is of care not to overrun the guide, and work 
 without the power of the word ? Dangers furround 
 us on everv hand, and our ftanding- often feems as 
 on a fea of glafs." 
 
 " With fatisfadtion and pleafure, I have 
 
 lately looked towards home ; indeed with fo much, 
 that a fear fometimes ftrikes me, left in wifdom 
 fome unforefeen affliction fhould be fent to mode- 
 rate it. According to my prefent feelings, I am 
 returning peaceful and eafy \ and though we have 
 
 C 3
 
 3 :> The LIFE or 
 
 nulled fome meetings, which I own I had a view of, 
 vet it was with a full belief, that thev will not be 
 
 * 'J 
 
 laid to my charge. I wiih that we may be thankful 
 enough for the favours we have received divers 
 ways, fince we left home ; and, what appears to me 
 no fmall one, for the rcadinefs of my beloved 
 connections, in making every thing as eafy as out- 
 ward means can poflibly do, and affording ac- 
 commodations, for want of which many lie under 
 very great difficulties. The confideration of thefe 
 things often affects my mind." 
 
 Bradford^ \<)th of \Jl month 1781. 
 
 " I thought, when we left Manchefter, 
 
 that it was a ftrange thing if we did not return to 
 it again ; yet I had fince loft the impreffion, fur- 
 ther than wondering why fuch a thought lhould 
 then have ftruck me ; and even the concern about 
 many meetings, which I thought we had miffed, was 
 fo much gone off my mind, (where it had dwelt 
 with fome weight) that I ieemed perfectly eafy, un- 
 der the belief that the concern would devolve on my 
 companion, but little expected it was lo foon to be 
 evinced : for after much fecret forrow, which I per- 
 ceived, but durit not pronounce my apprehenfions of 
 
 ■ caufe, Ihe difelofed Lift night her uneafinefs, 
 
 ami defire to return to the places we paffed by, as 
 
 well as to go to fome others in this county. On 
 
 I "(king a little ferioufly at it, (indeed not a little, 
 
 we had nearly a fleeplefs night) I could not fee 
 
 it it was lefs than my duty to return with her ; not 
 only from having had a view of the fame places, but 
 as a CO on, which, if truly cne, cannot leave in
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 31 
 
 the day of trouble. I wifh myfelf better qualified 
 to fympathize with her in this trial, which is a very 
 great one, and requires all the alleviations that are 
 in my power to befrow. I believe her willingnefs is 
 now lb great, that, for the purchafe of a little peace, 
 fhe would return to all the places, to do the things 
 which appeared needful, and were not fully joined in 
 with ; but when this great facrifke of the will is 
 completely made, I truft. fome ram will be caught in 
 the thicket, or fome fmaller offering accepted. Home 
 now looks at a great diftance, and I find that it will 
 contribute moft to my peace, to think as little of it 
 as I well can ; and if it had been lefs in my mind of 
 late, this turn in our affairs, would by me, have been 
 lefs felt. We find ourfelves after the meeting to~ 
 day, in a very gloomy fituation of mind ; as it was a 
 fuffering time, and we thought left us with the 
 fentence of death in ourfelves ; perhaps that we 
 may not truft in ourfelves, which I ardently wifh we 
 may be preferved from. We intend going to Leeds 
 to-morrow evening ; we dread it not a little, and 
 this day's work increafes the apprehenfion of very 
 great fufFering ; but it often feems beft to leave, 
 or draw the mind from future trials, and endea- 
 vour, as well as we can, to bear thofe of the prefent 
 day, which are generally found to be fufficient." 
 Manchefier y /\tb of 2d month 178T. 
 
 " Our minds are often bowed down, under 
 
 a fenfe of the awfulnefs of our engagements, and 
 difmayed at the light ; nor need I fay how clofely 
 our time is filled up therewith ; for after fitting 
 
 C 4
 
 32 The LIFE of 
 
 with feven or eight families, we arc generally ready 
 for reft. I have the very great fatisfaction now to 
 fay, that, except one family, wc have finiihed in this 
 place j have had lour to day, befide the two coeet- 
 
 ingSj and upwards of forty fince we began, v. 
 putting now and then two together. "\Ye were at 
 .Stockport on 4th day, and had it unexpectedly in 
 our power, to pay od" a fmall debt, which we con- 
 tracted when there before. It has been wonderful 
 to u^, how wc have bjen, and arc likely to be, 
 turned to places, and thrown in the way of doing 
 our fnft works; which wc cannot but view, m a. 
 mark of divine condcfcenfion to our infant flat 
 Indeed it hath been manifefted to us, far beyond 
 what wc could have looked for, in the courle of 
 this journey throughout ; and not lefs fo fince we 
 came into this place, v. here inftruction hath been 
 d ily adrnmiftcred from didercnt fourccs ; fome of 
 which have proved deeply trying to fiefh and 
 blood ; but being, I truft, in the ordering of uner- 
 ring wifdom, I wLfh (perhaps more than I endea- 
 vour) to profit patiently thereby, and \alue the rod 
 as well as the ftaff. It is indeed high time to num- 
 ber our bleffings. They are truly many, and wc 
 cannot fail of feeing and feeling them ; that of 
 ntal care and folicitude of feveral of 
 ' r much honoured and valued friends, is not fmall 
 in our cftimation." 
 
 " We have now got to Warrington, and 
 
 are endeavouring t 1 ourfelves quiet, and, as 
 
 can, labour to feel whal U the divine 
 
 \ ill c 'ncerning us; which, with refpect to our
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 33 
 
 coming here, hath been much a myftery. The prof- 
 peel: almoft difmays us, attended with a fear, 
 that we may now be in danger of comparing a 
 mountain in the wildernefs, and engage in a fervice, 
 for which our ftrength is not proportioned ; and fo, 
 notwithstanding we have been favoured with divine 
 condefcenfion to our Hates heretofore, bring upon 
 ourfelves unneceiTary trials, and thereby pierce 
 our minds, in future, with many forrows. It is no 
 fmall concern to us to find, with the prefent view of 
 things, every qualification wanting for fuch a fer- 
 vice j and our minds greatly ftripped of ftrength 
 and clear difcerning : and to move without a renew- 
 al of thefe, we dare not. When my companion firft 
 propofed our return, the evidence I thought Avas fo 
 ftroag, that I cheerfully complied ; yet feelings 
 very unlike thefe enfued, even a ftate of deep dif- 
 trefs and mortification, when I found we muft turn 
 our backs on home, and return from whence we 
 came, to do our firft works. Great was our pain, 
 from, I believe, an unfubjected will \ but great like- 
 wife and evident, was the operation of the divine 
 hand, in judgment upon us for the paft, aad, no 
 doubt, as a preparation for the future ; for it never 
 appeared clearer to me, than when under this clii- 
 penfation, that for every frefh fervice and work in 
 the church, we muft experience a renewed baptifin 
 of fpirit, and purification of the gift ; and that tl 1 
 more we have of the drofs, or the reprobate filvi 
 the more frequently muft we pafs through the r 
 ihg fire. Notwithstanding I was, Tometimes, 
 
 C 5
 
 34 T H i LIFE of 
 
 impatience of my heart, ready to query as the chil- 
 dren of Ifrael did, " were there not graves enough 
 in Egypt} that we are brought hither to die ;" yet 
 there were times, when all that was within me, was 
 proftrated under the chaftiiing hand, and fought 
 that it might not fpare. Hew preferable is it to all 
 fecondary adminiflrations of judgment, when, with 
 David, we wiih rather to fall into the Lord's hands, 
 than into the hands of man ! and furely. the more 
 we feek to derive our inftrutftion and food from the 
 fountain of good, the lefs we (hall be fubject to in- 
 ftrumental means." 
 
 " I never felt myfelf under fuch compli- 
 cated difcouragements at anytime; and Oh! that we 
 may both be enabled to bear thele fiery trials, with 
 refignation to the divine will, and feek to profit 
 by them, that the fhite of a weaned child may be- 
 come our experience." 
 
 " As I make no doubt it will be accept- 
 able to thee to hear from two poor pilgrims, who 
 .ue ahnoft worn out with things that appear too 
 mighty for them, I juft embrace a little vacant time, 
 to hint how we have fared ; and may in the firft 
 place fay, that the pn Pent engagement hath been 
 the molt trying of the kind we ever experienced. 
 It hath been frequently cur lot, to go down as to the 
 bottom of the mountains, where the earth with her 
 bars, was about us; under this preflure, our minds 
 h .' in fecretly clad with fackcloth and deep 
 i. i it has evidently appeared, that the 
 pui f religion is in a itate of bond.:;-/', and that 
 it I . • " I am opprefTed und<
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 35; 
 
 you, as a cart with flieaves." To vifit this feed of 
 the kingdom, we find to be no light matter, cfpeci- 
 ally when hid under the briers and thorns, and then 
 plumed with human wifdom ; who indeed is fufficient 
 for thefe things ? I often lament, and with reafon, 
 that my heart is not more bound to the caufe, and 
 more willing to fuffer for it •, and I fully believe, 
 that until this is more experienced, there will re- 
 main to be, as there have already been, many trials 
 and afflictions, which originate not in the divine will ; 
 for it is ftill a truth, that our greateft enemies are 
 thofe of our own houfes, and that to endeavour to 
 fubdue thefe, is our indifpeniable duty : but oh ! 
 what Strokes are in wifdom administered to us, to 
 deftroy that life which hath no existence in the di- 
 vine purity •, and except we be faithful unto tliis 
 death, we can with no" probability look for the crown 
 immortal. We have frequently had to recur to the 
 moving caufe of this journey, and, as an addition.- [ 
 trial, found the feeling fenfe of that withdrawn from 
 us j but all thele things teach us where to place 
 our prefent dependance •, and notwithstanding dil- 
 penfations thus painful have been our portion, we 
 have great caufe, thankfully to commemorate the blef- 
 fings of the divine and bountiful hand, which hath 
 been Strength in our weaknefs, riches in our 
 poverty, and a prefent helper in the needful time \ 
 and hath refrefhed our drooping fpirits, infomuch 
 that, with alacrity of heart, we have purfued the 
 path caSt up for us, and have been favoured to fee 
 the great neceffity of paffing frequently through the 
 furnace •, and oh ! faith my heart, that I may be
 
 The LIFE of 
 
 willing to dcfcend again and again, till lie whole in- 
 ile arm fuftaineth Ui> there, is pleafed to fay, " it 
 :: enough." 
 
 " We have now finifhed, for what we 
 
 know, our engagement at Warrington. We wound 
 up all in this family laft evening ; but oh what a 
 was yefterday ! my companion's fituation and 
 e were very different, though both trying; and 
 more fo, becaufe we were not alike led; but 
 frill there is a fecrel truft, that we were both in our 
 es. The meeting was held r.t Penketh, and 
 tg the preparative meeting, was very large. The 
 firft meeting was fo low and painful in the forepart, 
 that I was glad fecretly to oiler myfelf to do any thing, 
 if light might but fhine upon my dwelling. In this fitu- 
 l, I foon law that we had nothing to do in that 
 fitting; but it feeincd as if I heard a voice, " vifit 
 the men and women when feparated, for they re- 
 quire different food." The i :e was, I thou 
 
 i.s that I earneftly defired to be preferved 
 . ever hard it might be to the creature, 
 a worfe ftate fhould befal me. When the n 
 jiarted, I juft companion, to feel if 
 
 it might not be b it to I i the men's meeting : 
 
 her reply was, " 11. fcen nothing of it, but 
 
 would I with me." This greatly increafed the bur- 
 den that was upon my mind, but remembering my 
 :it view and requcft, I durft not, after all the 
 I i : .d at the divine hand, in our 
 
 I \iiit, refufe a compliance with this 
 
 intui □ 1 finding I had a little firength, 
 
 that, to become fiill mo:
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 37 
 
 fpec"tacle to angels and to men, than before in this 
 place. — I believe I had my companion's fympathy, 
 but me faid fhe had nothing to do ; which I own, fo 
 difcouraged me, with the painful apprehension that I 
 had been out of my place, led by an unfanctiiied zeal, 
 or, at leaft, had fo imprudently adminiftered the 
 right thing, that I had already done more harm 
 than good ; fo that, though there was a covering of 
 good over the women's meeting, and a little ability 
 to relieve my own mind at leaft, I fo loft faith, and 
 gave way fo much, to thinking myfelf quite fpent 
 and exhaufted, that I managed to bring my load 
 away with me ; which, added to the mortifying re- 
 membrance of what I had done, nearly funk me 
 for a time into the deepeft diftrefs. But by endea- 
 vouring to keep it to myfelf, (my greateft difcourage- 
 ments however) and to recur to what I appre- 
 hended, was the moving caufe of my doing and leav- 
 ing undone, there enfued a little quietnefs, and a 
 fmall, but comfortable evidence, that the offering of 
 obedience, as far as it had been made, was accept- 
 able ; and that what was omitted, was viewed with 
 divine, compaffionate regard to the weaknef?, and 
 not wilfulnefs, of my poor depreffed mind. And 
 notwithstanding we had three fittings afterwards, 
 and my body almoft as ill as I thought it could be, 
 to bear up, yet there felt to me full as much 
 Strength and life, as I have found before in this 
 place ; and this morning I feel fo refrefhed with 
 the foregoing, and a good night's reft, that I don't 
 know that I have a complaint of any fort ; only I 
 could wifh for a little more clearnefs reflecting forne
 
 38 The L I F E of 
 
 approaching days. Thus I comfortably and thank- 
 fully experience, that though ibrrow has come for a 
 long night in this place, joy lprings in the morning. 
 When the fun of righteoui'neis, in any degree, 
 arifes, and the mind feels its refrelhing influence, 
 how does it encourage to prefs forward, and to think 
 nothing too hard to fubmit to, for this excellent ap- 
 pearance ! but how ready, like the diiciplcs, are we 
 to folicit that our tabernacles mav be built here, and 
 we not defcend into the lower parts of the earth 
 again, there to be covered with its bars, and feel 
 ourfelves as at the bottom of the mountains ; though 
 it is from thence, we are led to look for a better 
 habitation, and to labour that the pure life may 
 arife, and we be favoured to dwell with it, though 
 feldom in a ftate of dominion, remembering for our 
 inftruc"tion, that Aaron the great high-priefr, was 
 permitted to enter into the holy of holies but once a 
 ■ ir, for his common fervke was in the tabernacle. 
 — I cannot but look upon this morning, which feels 
 pleafanter than many, to be perhaps the opening of 
 another tribulating day ; for it does not appear 3 
 time for fuch as arc, in the fmalleft degree, able to 
 be baptized into the prefent ftate of the church, to 
 cat much pleafant bread : but I wifh I was more 
 preferved from thole infirmities of darkening roun- 
 fcl, Sec. in times of proving, when a gulf feems to 
 open for prefent deftruc"tion. Oh what a trial, or 
 trials of this fort have we had in this place ! but I 
 uifh to forget thefe toils, and rather feck for greater 
 wifdom to bear the future. It is marvellous to me, 
 how things arc brought about, that we have had
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 39 
 
 views of, but no probability of being effected ; and 
 particularly with refpect to this monthly meeting, 
 which I thought I faw, before we fet off from home, 
 and often wondered when we were leaving Lan- 
 cafhire, how fuch things could be ? and fometimes, 
 on that account, was ready to call all in queftion ; 
 finding many fuch caufes of discouragement, which 
 now feem gradually removing." 
 
 Liverpool, 10th of id month) 1 78 1. 
 
 « The fellowfhip and tendernefs of our 
 
 friends was never more defirable, than in thefe days 
 of deep probation and instruction. Wonders are 
 indeed yet manifested in the deeps, where, finding 
 the demonstration of the fpirit and power, even my 
 Strong heart has, to my own admiration, been made 
 willing to receive the bittereft of cups \ and all that 
 is within me, has bowed and done obeifance to him, 
 before whom I have had daily and piercingly to 
 abhor myfelf ; under renewed, powerful, evidences, 
 that without the frequent administration of the holy 
 GhoSt and Sire, and repeatedly deScending to the 
 warning pool, there is no offering an acceptable 
 Sacrifice •, and that this muft be a diSpenSation for 
 life, if ever any offering is found to be without 
 blemifli, which I Sear it never will j but iS preServed 
 with Spiritual fight, and a necefTary jealouSy over my- 
 felf, I Shall, I truSt, So far deem mySelf bleffed. — How 
 are Such as move in this line to be pitied ! their 
 Standing cannot be better deScribed, than as being 
 on a Sea of glafs, mingled with fire. But I would 
 not Say any thing to diScourage, nor would I wifh
 
 -40 The LIFE of 
 
 to be like the evil fpies ; therefore may add, that 
 from what I have fecn of the good land, attainable 
 at times in this work, it is well worth our preffing 
 after, and its fruit is ib pleafant, that it amply re- 
 frefhes the weary traveller. I could, yefterday morn- 
 ing, fet my feal to the truth of this ; but alas ! 
 the fcene then has, fince changed much. "We were 
 at the monthly meeting at Hartfhaw to day, for 
 which we have both caufe to be thankful ; Hot 
 becaufe the food was pleafant, but bccaule it was, 
 we truft, wholcfomc ; and this evening we are come 
 to this place, to which we fet off in the bitter 
 of our fpirits. It looks indeed often to my n'ind, 
 as if a lingular vifitation is reriewedly extended to 
 our fociety; but there is a painful fear, that the day 
 will pafs over the heads of many: yet, with it, a 
 hope fprings, that there are others who will be 
 purified, tried, and made white." 
 
 ) ori t 3<7 of 3a? nionth, 178 I. 
 
 u Many of our late tribulations appear to 
 
 mi-, ni"re and more, to Lave been in the order 
 of divine wifdom ; and fuch as have more evidently 
 arifen from our unwillingnefs to fubmit to the hum- 
 bling power of the 1 ".ill furely be profitably 
 remembered by us, and gradually work that pati< 
 and pure reiignation oi heart, which cm enable us, 
 in holy confidence, to r . count it all joy, 
 when we fall into divers temptations and tribula- 
 tions, for the trial and refinement of our faith i:i 
 him, who was made ; 'gh fullering. 
 My mi , i;i general, lince my return home,
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 41 
 
 felt a ftate of deep proftration, and humble gratitude 
 to that all-ruling power, which hath, I fully believe, 
 helped us in our late engagements, and would more 
 eminently have done it, if our minds had borne a 
 greater fimilarity to the paffive clay. Great in- 
 ftrudtion arifes in the commemoration of thefe 
 things. To feel our minds centred in a quiet fub- 
 mimbn to the prefent allotment, now we are return- 
 ed, and a willingnefs either to do or fuffer, appears 
 the moft defirable ftate for us, and is what I hope 
 thou largely experienceft." 
 
 In the twelfth month 1781, with the approbation 
 of the monthly meeting, fhe was concerned in a 
 religious vifit, to a part of the families within the 
 monthly meeting of Owftwick and Cave. Although 
 her fteppings along in this fervice, were attended 
 with clofe trials, yet fhe was enabled to perform it, 
 with a degree of peace and fatisfadtion ; which ap- 
 pears from her own expreffions on this occafion : 
 " We have got along as well as we could have look- 
 ed for, confidering the prevailing declenfion and 
 weaknefs of the prefent day; which in thefe, as 
 well as in many other places, widely fpread them- 
 felves. Deep fufFering, and a painful exercife of 
 mind, are often our lot ; but being, I truft, in a 
 good degree refigned thereto, they are, at times 
 fucceeded with a calm, and a little evidence, 
 that the fervant is not wholly difunited from the 
 mafter." 
 
 She was engaged, in the ift month 1782, in a 
 vifit to fome families, which had not been vifited
 
 42 | The LIFE of 
 
 by the friends who had lately been concerned in 
 a family-vifit in that quarter. At the conclufion 
 of this viflt, (he remarks as follows, " It was, I 
 think, the molt trying fervice of the kind that 
 I ever had any fenfe of; the general unfeeling- 
 neU and impenetrablenefs of the vifited, rendered 
 the labour almoft without hope. So greatly departed 
 are many amongft us, from the virtue of hea- 
 venly dew, that it is now deemed an unnecciTary 
 attainment."
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 43 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 Her Marriage — and Journey into Scotland} Cumber' 
 
 land, &c> 
 
 IN the 4th month 1782, fhe was married to our 
 friend Robert Grubb, of Clonmel in Ireland, 
 who had for forne time refided at York ; to whom 
 fhe was a faithful and tender companion, and a 
 fympathizing, ftrengthening helpmeet, in the va- 
 rious probations of their fpiritual pilgrimage. On 
 this fubject, the following inftructive letter, written 
 fome months afterwards, appears to be worthy of 
 infertion." 
 
 " It was an awful thing to me, to enter 
 
 into this new fphere. I am now blefTed with all, 
 and more than I had any right to afk for in it. I 
 wifh to number thefe bleffings, and approve myfelf 
 worthy of them. This belief ever accompanies my 
 mind, that if we wreft not ourfelves out of the di- 
 vine hand, whofe fatherly care and protection is over 
 us, our cup of life will be fo blended, as to prevent 
 our fitting down in outward enjoyments. Few and 
 fleeting are the days of our pilgrimage ; and every 
 additional experience confirms the fentiment, that 
 our folid fatisfaction depends not on our pofTeffing all 
 that the unmortified part in us can defire ; for there 
 ftill remains, in the immortal part, a void, which
 
 44 The LIFE of 
 
 immortal fubftance only, can fatisfy. To have this 
 fupplied with wholefome food, and every other gra- 
 tification to ftand fubordinate thereto, is the prefent 
 
 fecret breathing of my fpirit : that fo, the blelling 
 of prefervation may attend us, and patience have 
 its perfect work, tiki the burning of the Lord's day 
 hath done its office, and a quiet centre in cvcilaft- 
 ing repofe, is obtained." 
 
 About two weeks after this event, fhe entered on a 
 religious vifit to friends in Scotland, in company 
 with her friend Mary Proud ; having prcvioufly ob- 
 tained a certificate of concurrence from the monthly 
 meeting. This concern had, for many months, 
 dwelt frequently on her mind, and had now ma- 
 tured fo, that fhe thought it her duty to engage in it, 
 at this time. Her feelings under the view of it, 
 and in the profpecl: of her marriage, with her re- 
 fignation to the fervice, and defires for divine pre- 
 fervation and direction ; are, in fome meafure, fet 
 forth, by the following extracts from fome of her 
 letters, written on thofe occafions. — " I cannot be 
 on the verge of fuch important, and fome new, con- 
 cerns, without feeling deep anxiety, and many fears : 
 my mind is often fo deeply Oppreffed with my pre- 
 fent load, that I feci continually bowed down under 
 it, and not very fit for this employ. The mind and 
 body feldom fuffer alone, and it is comfortable to 
 believe, that they are not intended to be always, or 
 long companions. I have not been very well of late, 
 which is not to be wonderc.1 at, nor is it worth 
 much attention."
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 45 
 
 " The fentiment thou drops refpecting 
 
 Scotland, is fo exactly fimilar to my own, that it 
 was like a little ftrength handed in the time of 
 need ; and I greatly wifh, if the thing be proved to 
 be right, to be enabled to make a facrifke of every 
 felfiih inclination j that my offerings and prayers, in 
 this one ftep, may be pure and acceptable to Him who 
 fees in fecret. But I often feelingly remember a 
 faying of M. Peifley's, that fhe was " torn as between 
 heaven and earth •" and it many times is matter of 
 doubt, in which I fhall centre. I have as much 
 nature as moft, and as great an aptnefs to cover 
 nryfelf with it, and live upon it ; and though to be 
 thus drawn from fuch a fource, is caufe of thank- 
 fulnefs, yet it feems like the pangs of death, and I 
 fometimes query, whether my natural body will not 
 fall under the operation. Was it not for, now and 
 then, experiencing my ftrength a little renewed, 
 and my mind clothed with the quietnefs of that 
 habitation, which the arrows of the archers cannot 
 penetrate, I muft fall to the oppofition of the enemy 
 in myfelf •, but when the arm of power is felt to be 
 near, then it is, that we rejoice in the means of our 
 falvation." 
 
 " There is ftill a fecret belief, that the 
 
 growth and cultivation of my views reflecting a 
 northern journey, were, by that hand, from which 
 I have apprehended my moft important engagements 
 have proceeded ; and though it has, for many 
 months, dwelt frequently upon my mind, yet I 
 cherifhed a belief, that it was very far off; till the 
 profpect of fettling in a new line of life drew nearer,
 
 46 The LIFE oi 
 
 and then, this diftant view as fa ft approached. It 
 was afrefh revived when I wrote to thee la ft j but 
 I w idled to try it flill a little longer, if, in the kind* 
 nei's of Him, who knows my great uniitnefs for an 
 engagement ib important, my resignation to it might 
 be an acceptable facrifice. Inftead of this, the 
 weight increaied, and I found, on complying with 
 Come early proceedings in another affair, that my 
 peace materially depended, on having thee inform- 
 ed of what I had in view ; that thereby this concern 
 might keep pace with the other, and I attend to 
 what may appear to be my own bufmefs, no fur- 
 ther, than refignation to a fuperior fervice was expe- 
 rienced. My dear friend knows the ncceffity of an 
 entire furrender of ourielves, to what appears, in 
 the pointings of duty, to be our proper bufinefs, and 
 of keeping our eye as Readily to that as we can ; 
 that ib, by its finglenefs, we may have light fuffi- 
 cicnt for the work of our day. And as, without 
 this quiet attention, we are often led into doubts, 
 fears, and many realbnings, fo we arc frequently 
 found to require provings of mind, ftrippings, and 
 many baptifms, in order to lit us for the ft/ate, in 
 which alone there is fafety •, a truly humble, de- 
 pendant ftate, reduced of ourfelves, and lecking 
 it honour) which cometh from God only. It is 
 with great awfulncis I look at the work before 
 US, and under a deep fenfe, how unable we are of 
 ourfelves, at all to help forward the caufe, wherein 
 we defil . to be engaged, or to bring honour to 
 that name (either amonglt us as a fociety, or thofe 
 who are not of our fold) to which the nations may
 
 SARAH GRUI3B. 47 
 
 yet be ieen to gather. It is defirable, however, 
 that our dwelling may be deep, that the wifdom 
 and inftruction we receive, may, (though finall) be 
 pure ; that if we venture to move, the cloud may 
 ienfibly be taken oft* the tabernacle, and we careful 
 to follow the appointed guide, for our days and 
 nights, and be favoured, in this day of deep dege- 
 neracy, with an evidence, that we have done what 
 we could." 
 
 The following is an account of her journey 
 through Scotland, &c. taken from a fhort journal 
 written by herfelf, and found amongft her papers. 
 
 « The twentieth of the fourth month, 
 
 1782, I left York, with my friend M. Proud, for 
 the yearly meeting at Edinburgh, intending from 
 thence, to vifit the friends in Scotland, Cumberland, 
 &c. We were at Thirfk on firft day, the twenty 
 firft, where we fenfibly felt the pure life of religi- 
 on to be at a low ebb, though the profeflbrs there- 
 of are numerous ; and fuch as have been anointed 
 for, and employed in, the Lord's work, dwell 
 amongft them. But theie being only ftandard-bear- 
 ers, whilft they continue exercifed in the Lamb's 
 war, and prove their loyalty to the King of kings, 
 by their careful attention to his pointings, and 
 humble walking before him, have need to live under 
 an awful fenfe of the importance of that fervice, to 
 which they are called : that fo, their fpirits may be 
 kept favoury, their converfation, likewife, feafoned 
 with the heavenly fait, miniftering grace to thofe 
 that hear. For want of the Lord's fervants, or thofe
 
 4 S The LIFE oi 
 
 in the forcmoft ranks of the people, being thus 
 preferred near th.it power, in which their life and 
 their ftrength confift, great declenfion lias happen- 
 ed t ) as, .<> a people ; and thole, who have been 
 lookit part of religion in them, 
 
 have, inftead of find.ii influence, received, by 
 
 the light: the conduct of fuch, a warrant for 
 
 br own propeniiti I/nder the confideration' 
 
 , I was affected, and feeling the 
 aptnels of my difpofition to yield to the like in- 
 firmities, I was led, ret -, to beg for ftrength. 
 N twit! we had to fuller with the feed in 
 •, ami to beheld the breaches which are 
 ide as in the walls of the roval city, yet, a renew- 
 ed vifitation was extended i pecially to 
 the youth; and our minds ¥ Little encouraged 
 : prefs d in the work before us, under a 
 divine I I \l. The next da;- . * left 
 Think, and my huiband, .who had accompanied us 
 far, w< few miles further on this 
 d rne; ; parted, my mind fell 
 coveri I >veto replcnilh it, with faith and 
 
 iencc •, . from a 11: ,1 
 
 could thankfully fay, with a , " I 
 
 have left all to And v.- ck r a renew- 
 
 ed t , ai l > » my • wn 
 
 nnfitnefs for the fen cfore me, with< juent 
 
 bapi • thereof, 
 
 I • i u t bibm • i. tions, 
 
 refj Chrift, and 
 
 that office : and thus, I 
 was led •.-.... t who had called is
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 49 
 
 faithful, and his grace is fufficient for us, as our de- 
 pendance is placed thereon, and all confidence in 
 ourfelves removed. We attended a meeting on 
 third day, and had, painfully, to feel the ftate of 
 things amongft them ; and it appeared clear to my 
 mind, that the work was in the Lord's hands, 
 and that he will, in his own time, make manifeft the 
 hidden things of darknefs ; when thofe that retain 
 a little life amongft them, will be enabled to renew 
 their ftrength, and fliew themfelves on the Lord's 
 fide, though, their numbers mav be few. We were 
 favoured in fome degree, to relieve our own minds, 
 and left them that afternoon. 
 
 The next day we were at a meeting which, for 
 fome time, was a painful fitting, under a fenfe that 
 the leaders of the people caufed them to err, and 
 were crying, « the word of the Lord," when the 
 Lord had not fent them. But after experiencing 
 fomething of the baptifm unto death, with our 
 holy High Prieft, we were favoured to feel the re- 
 furrecYion of life ; in which, judgment was placed 
 on the head of the tranfgreiling nature, and the 
 minds that were defirous to know fomething of the 
 work of religion for themfelves, were pointed to the 
 means of redemption from fin. From thence we 
 went to Newcaftle, and were at their week-day 
 meeting on fifth day, where truth, meafurably, pre- 
 vailed. On fixth and feventh days, being the 
 twenty-fixth and twenty-feventh of the month, we 
 travelled from Newcaftle to Kelfo, and were at 
 their meetings on firft day, which are very fmall 
 
 D
 
 50 The LIFE o f 
 
 of friends, but many others came in, efpecially iu 
 the afternoon; and though, at firft, the) appeared 
 rude and ignorant, yet the power of truth, in which 
 the authority is felt, roie fo into dominion, that it be- 
 came a iblemn opportunity. And thus we had frefh 
 caufe to obferve, that it is only by divine ftrength, 
 that we can run through a troop, or leap over tiie 
 walls of oppoiition. On l'econd day, we went to 
 Edinburgh, where, on third we refted, and on fourth 
 and fifth attended the yearly meeting, which m 
 but fmall, there being very few members of fociety 
 of that nation then prefent. There were fevcral, 
 who, through neglect of christian difcipline, think 
 they have a claim to the fociety, as being the otf- 
 fpring of friends ; others were like the Philiftines 
 in whole hands the ark of the teltimony is fallen, 
 and eiteemed by them as a contemptible thing ; 
 there were alfo prefent a number of ftudents from 
 diftant parts, whofe parents are not only members 
 of fociety, but lome of them ufeful therein. On 
 account of all thefe, our minds were painfully exer- 
 cifed : and notwithftanding the public meetings were 
 large, and owned with divine favour, in covering 
 thefe affemblies with a degree of holy awe, and the 
 minds of fomc of Ids fervants with gofpel power 
 and authority, to declare the wav of life and fal- 
 in: yet through all, the fenfe of deep, hidden, 
 well us flagrant corruption, fo imprefied my 
 mind, that I was led to believe, truth will never 
 profper in this place, nor the excellency of it ap- 
 unveiled, till, not only the branches of the cor- 
 rupt tree are cut oil, but the lug up that the
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 51 
 
 remembrance thereof may rot -, and then, there is 
 a hope that the prefent planting may get watere 1 
 the ground renewedly cultivated, and fruits appear 
 to the praife of the great Hufbandman. Deep dif- 
 couragement attends the Lord's exercifed fervants 
 in this day, when labour is added to labour, bap- 
 tifm to baptifm, for thofe that are dead in trefpaiTes 
 and fins, and for thofe that are unacquainted, in 
 their own experience, with the glad tidings of the 
 gofpel •, fo that, if they were not at times refrefhed 
 with a little bread handed in fecret, and their evi- 
 dence confirmed, that the foundation of God Hands 
 fure, having this feal that the Lord knows them that 
 are his, they would be ready to faint in the work, 
 and to fhrink in the day of battle, when the arrows 
 of the archers furround, and the fpirits of the peo- 
 ple are oppofing found doctrine, and crying " pro- 
 phely unto us fmooth things." But I have had fre- 
 quently of late, under thefe difcouraging views, to 
 remember the prophet when he mournfully exclaim- 
 ed ; "I have laboured in vain, and ipent my 
 ftrength for nought j" yet recoilecling himlelf in 
 holy confidence in, and intereft with, inviiible and 
 divine juftice, he added, " but furely my judgment is 
 with the Lord, and my work with my God." From 
 fome neceffary baptifms of mind, and renewed evi- 
 dences that this is enough for any true minifter of 
 the gofpel to defire, I have been led awfully and 
 humbly to implore increasing ftrength and ability, 
 to walk before that gracious eye that fees in fecret, 
 without fceking the praife, or regarding the cenfure 
 
 D 2
 
 --: The LIFE <Jf 
 
 who arc net circumcifed i: and ears, 
 
 innot difcern, or , found uncon- 
 
 words, but want th fual wifdom and 
 
 depraved the di\inations of 
 
 .^probation of th an 
 
 ex r, clofc, anJ fear. opportunity on 
 
 evening (after : rigi v.. 
 
 O". th thole under profeffion with us, and j 
 
 : r . 
 err.ln. _d, and a powerful c nded, 
 
 to dole in ae prefer* : ; cn and day of 
 
 ation that is offered ; whe: would be re- 
 
 .•med from that wifdom which tes them 
 
 from • re fear of God, and the tree of immor- 
 
 . life ; and alio preferred from going down to 
 the chambers of death, by fading in with tin 
 .res and j pollutions, with which the un- 
 
 y of our fouls i- g to entrap and 
 
 us. i , at 
 
 that time, under the power of truth ; and he who 
 thus to influence their alone 
 
 able to profper the work - morning 
 
 - a rerr pelting 
 
 r cduc:r - 
 I this place ; ■ . 
 
 all con. , outhal- 
 
 .)les of innJelity which 
 
 arc - perfo: :ly 
 
 ig their ftudici, have 
 
 •li 
 
 ! 
 
 Qjl- ■ feared, bee >me fo much
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 5.3 
 
 we went to Kirkaldie, (by Queen's Ferry) where we 
 had a meeting with the town's people, fome of whom 
 behaved well, the glad tidings of the gofpel were 
 preached ; and a fatisfa&ory meeting it was. From 
 hence we went that evening one flage further, and 
 purpoled next day for Montrole, forty-nine miles. 
 The fir ft ftage in the morning was to C.oupar iq 
 Fife, where we felt a considerable opennefs for a 
 meeting, but having too much, in our own inclinati- 
 on, fixed our work for this day, we put by this 
 fimple feeling, and thought that, if way opened:, we 
 would give up to it in our return. A few hours 
 convinced us that our plans were fruftrated -, for 
 when we arrived at Dundee Ferry, we found our- 
 felves about half an hour too late for the tide, fo that 
 our horfes could not be taken over till about that 
 time in the evening, at which we fhould have been 
 there, had we ftaid and had a meeting at Coupar in 
 Fife. From Dundee we went to Aberbrothick, 
 which we left next morning for Montrofe, where we 
 had a meeting in the evening with the town's peo- 
 
 wounded, as to endanger their going halting all their 
 days. It is of unfpeakable importance for parents and 
 guardians folidly to confider, in their diipofal of youth, 
 the danger not only of this, but of every other expofed 
 fituation in life. No profeffional advantages, or quali- 
 fications whatever, can be put in competition with the 
 lofs or injury of that pure faith and principle, which is 
 our unerring guide, our fupport and comfort through 
 time. 
 
 I> 3
 
 The LIFE of 
 
 pie, who behaved well, and to whom divine regard 
 ■ 
 From hence we went to Inverbervy, a little fea- 
 port I i Montroie and leen. litre we 
 
 nd we could not get away, without a meeting 
 the town's people, which was readily provid- 
 ed for, end a very folid cor. . v.-hofe 
 minds feemed like the good ground culti\ated by 
 ; hand, for the reception of the i-ied of the 
 hd. Divine aid was eminentiy extended to 
 u?, and to the people, and we were led, publi 
 
 to return the gratitude of our hearts to 
 
 c him, and who, in 
 
 rl fc favcured opportunities, is 
 
 d to lead his poor, weak, fervants, 
 
 as frc mountain, and from tafting the 
 
 ::n? wine of the kingdom, into the wilderneis ; 
 
 r, to experience 
 
 y of tt -, and the power of 
 
 • ; that fo, their own inability may be 
 
 . • ir humble confidence renewed in the 
 
 inn, they drawn from having any confidence 
 
 in • h, and tav t to live bv bread alone. 
 
 hence we proceeded to Stonehaven, and fat 
 
 . whom the life of re- 
 We wci.t to Aberdeen that even- 
 time with the friends 
 The fame afternoon ached Old-mel- 
 
 m, an a meeting with them, where 
 
 e coukl not get away without fitting 
 and having a public meeting with 
 I about the fame
 
 S A R A H GRUB B. $5 
 
 "day, and had a fatisfactcry meeting with the people 
 in the evening. We found things very low amou 
 the friends, but a comfortable hope, that of I 
 
 th would be railed up fuch as would be qnalified 
 to fupport the caufe of truth, which is ready to fall 
 in the ftreets, and the principles thereof almoft f . - 
 gotten by thofe that profefs them, particularly in 
 parting from the plain language, and iofing the di - 
 tinguilhing marks of their profeffion ; where', 
 crois is evaded, and the people's minds become likje 
 the high-way ground. We ftnifhed the vifit to the 
 families at Kilmuck, and went from thence on fe- 
 venth day evening for Aberdeen, and ftaid there 
 the next day. My companion attended the meet- 
 ings, where ihe had good fervice, and many people 
 of the town came in. I had been unwell for fome 
 time before with pain in my face and teeth, which 
 had now fo increafed upon me, with frefh cold, 
 that, feeling no particular draft to the friends or peo- 
 ple, and fcarce being fit to move, I ftaid in the 
 houfe that dav, in order to ufe fome means for reco- 
 very, which were not ineffectual, and next morning 
 we fet forward for Urie. Here the friends of Stone- 
 haven met us, but it was a painful opportunity, and. 
 little of the divine life to be felt. We reached. 
 Montrofe in the evening, and next day went to 
 Aberbrothick, where we ufed fome means to obtain 
 a meeting, but they not been effectual, we were 
 eafy to leave the place ; and went forward, without 
 any other meeting in the way, to Edinburgh, where 
 we arrived on f.fth dav evening, the fifteenth of the 
 
 D 4
 
 5* The L I F E of 
 
 month '. Th« next evening we reached Kellb, and 
 Morpeth on the feventeenth, from whence we went 
 next morning to Newcaftle to breakfaft, and attend* 
 »..: both their meetings; in which we had deep, 
 
 * From Aberbrothick (be writes thus to a friend : 
 " The minds of many of the people in this land teem 
 preparing, like the good ground, to receive, in child- 
 like fimplicity, the ingrafted word ; and though it may 
 re fruit- r, yet if thole that come this 
 
 , follow the fimple openings of truth, in their (cop- 
 pings ;.'. places where tin re arc no friends, anil get 
 v.d into the ltates of the ; ' , it appears clear 
 to us, that fuch will be inftxumental in helping forward 
 the light of the perfecl day of the gofpel, which has 
 dawned in many of thefe parts ; but it is under prefent 
 chaftifement for neglect of duty, that I acknowledge 
 we have not fumciently trod this path. One materia] 
 omiflion tlie week before laft, lias laid a foundation for 
 repentance through this land, it' not through time, unl 
 our Mailer fometime fends us again to pay debt and in- 
 ert; becaufe, from that one neglect, has proceeded 
 many entanglements, and preventions of doing right. 
 We have great caufe to believe and ackn< ■, that 
 
 the divine aid which hath been afforded] particularly in 
 land, hath been gr^at ; and though it may have 
 fly on account of the people, yet gratitude 
 .'a covered our minds tor it, and it occallons us to 
 
 . re deeply any want of faithfulnei 
 The following letters were written a few days after 
 1 ■■ | out of Scotland. 
 
 " It is a favour when "we arc at liberty to feel one 
 r, in the cementing fond of pure love and un- 
 fellowfhip ; for, really, in joui 
 I I. our minds arc often fo (hipped ol is like 
 
 ; feeling a', it' we belong to any
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 5? 
 
 fearching, but honeft labour ; and a degree of quie- 
 tude, refignation, and ferenity of mind, clofed the 
 day. The next day we retted, and on third were at 
 Shields, fourth at Sunderland, fifth at Benfieldfide, 
 
 body, or have any outward fource of comfort, the 
 ftate of the pelican in the wildernefs feems moft fimilar 
 to ours ; and, no doubt, for wife ends, our minds are 
 thus clothed with abftractednefs, and feparated from do- 
 meftic bleffings : for om eye then being fmgle, and we 
 confiderinp- ourfelves fervants that have need to watch 
 
 o 
 
 every pointing of the Mafter, we are in the greater 
 fitnefs to receive that divine light, in which, and by 
 which only, every fervice in the church can be right- 
 ly accomplifhed." 
 
 " We are convinced it is right for thofe who 
 
 go into Scotland, to go without plans, or fixed times for 
 things, and limply to attend, day by day, to the open- 
 ings of truth, giving up their time freely, and consider- 
 ing themfelves in no refpecl their own, Such as thus 
 faithfully vifit Scotland, and get deep enough in their 
 minds to bring up fuch weapons as will penetrate the 
 minds of the people, and reach the divine life, rather 
 than aim merely at convincing the judgment, will have, 
 I am perfuaded, great fervice in that land, and find the 
 free dedication of their time to be an acceptable facri- 
 fice." 
 
 " We have now got as into our own camp, where 
 
 clofe painful labour is often our lot ; which being almoft 
 continual, and without apparent effects, Ave are fome- 
 times ready to fhrink from the work, and turn our faces 
 homeward, ccnfidering ourfelves, in every fenfe of the 
 word, unprofitable fervants. But I have thus far found, 
 that when we have been fo reduced, as hath been the cafe, 
 that we durfr not look for great things, divine ftrength 
 hath been meft adminiftered, and the biefhr.gs that 
 
 D c
 
 58 The L I F E of 
 
 iixth at Ncwbiggin, feventh at Allondale, firft at 
 Aldlton, and fccond at Cornwood : at all which, 
 the effects of an inattention to the unerring i pi— 
 ritual guide, were deeply felt by us ; and, from 
 place to place, our fpirits were pained in viewing the 
 declenfion and defolation which have fpread them- 
 felves, even amongft the foremoft claffes of the peo- 
 ple j fo that fome of thofe who have appeared as 
 fhepherds over the flock, have been overtaken there- 
 with, fmitten by the hand of the enemy, and prov- 
 ed their difqunlifkation for fervice ; whereby many 
 that knew not the fure foundation, but whofe eyes 
 
 attend our thus dwelling in the deep';, have been couch- 
 ed under thele feelings ; and the fpirit of difcernment 
 . '.lo proceeded therefrom, that we have had humbly 
 .lniire the dealings of the divine hand, which, by 
 reducing his fervants, exaketh his own caufe. "When 
 felf is moll brought down, theie is haft anxiety about 
 the fruits of our labour ; they are left to die great lluf- 
 bandman, who caufeth the rain to defcend on the juft, 
 and on the unjuft ; and finely it is enough for us to ex- 
 perience cur meat and our drink to be an obedience to 
 the will of our heavenly Father: for thereby, we get 
 . that the world I not of, and feel ourfelves 
 
 boiind to his truth, though many may forfake it. We 
 are reconciled t< I i therewith, feeing with an eye of 
 faith, that notwithftanding the dcclcniion amongft us, 
 the frniting of the fhepherds, fome in being happily re- 
 moved fom the evil to come, and others by the hand of 
 the enemy, and the fcattering of the fheep, yet the pro- 
 mi fe will be fu upon the little ones: and thefe 
 kecy their Jm -giver, the; (kail with 
 cperiencc a victor).'
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 59 
 
 were fixt upon man, and whole walking was circum- 
 fcribed by the appearance of others, have been fcal- 
 tered from the place of true feeding, and thus want 
 an anchor to their fouls in the time of trial. This 
 the fpirit of truth would have amply fupplied, had 
 it been made the object of their refearches, inftead 
 of the honour, the wifdom, and the complicated 
 gratifications of man in his depraved ftate. But in 
 the courfe of thefe meetings, particularly at New- 
 biggin, Aliondale, and Cornwood, we felt an evi- 
 dence that the divine promife will be fulfilled upon 
 the little ones, and that there are of this number, 
 who, if they keep faithful under the preparing hand, 
 will be railed up to be ftandard-bearers in the work 
 and houle of their God. But oh the danger cf 
 even thefe, that have been feveral times dipt as in 
 Jordan, not abiding the day of further trial, where- 
 in nothing but the pure gold will ftand :, becaufe 
 the fiery baptifm of the fpirit, is fo fuperior to every 
 thing but what is of its own durable nature, that 
 whatever has been mixed with it muft, in this tefr, 
 be fwept away ; that the veffel which is formed of 
 the refidue, may be fo pure as to be entitled to the 
 infcription of, "holinefs unto the Lord." As it is 
 for want of this patient dedication of heart to the 
 operation of truth, that many vefiels amongft us 
 have been little better than founding brais or tink- 
 ling cymbals to the people, having no author;. 
 from that of which they fpoke, nor discovering an 
 alliance to the mafter by following his holy pattern, my 
 heart has been led fervently to implore for myfelf, 
 and for a number of thefe, to whom I felt uni: ;
 
 60 The LIFE of 
 
 in our heavenly Father's love, that whatsoever may 
 lx- the fufferings of the prefent Jay, and howfoever 
 
 le may fall on one hand, and another on another, 
 our eye may be fixed on the Roek of our ltrcngth, 
 and our faith Co replenished, that though the feet 
 may be placed as in the very bottom of Jordan, we may 
 not flinch therefrom, nor leek an caller path than 
 t it which the wreftling feed of Jacob have ever 
 trod ; nor have any greater joy than to be united by 
 an exercife of fpirit to our holy Head, whether in 
 fuffering or in rejoicing. We had, in all thefe places, 
 the renewed afliftance of that fpirit which helpeth 
 our infirmities, teachcth how to pray and travail in 
 fpirit, and how to minifter to the ftates of the peo- 
 ple ; whereby fome of the hidden things of dark- 
 nefs were fearched out, the ftrayed of the flock 
 invited to the fold, and the little travailing remnant 
 were encouraged to go forward on their way. We 
 had a uniting feafon at Corn wood, in that pure 
 fellowfhip of fpirit, which fnpplieth every member 
 in the body with frefh vigour to perform its func- 
 tion. — From hence, with our friends M. J. and 
 J. W. we went to a meeting in Cumberland : it was a 
 time of deep exercife of mind, but in faith fn lm u 
 thereto, the power of truth rofe into dominion, and 
 we had rcafon to hope it was a profitable time to 
 divers. We left this place, and in the afternoon 
 were at another meeting, whkh was, for a time, 
 
 1 i fcriptionj but by .an humble wait- 
 
 that the people W( I with 
 
 try, that the ark was taken into 
 
 rcumcifed, and tl. re was
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 61 
 
 a number who loved to have it fo. The power and 
 authority of truth arofe, by which we were enabled 
 to place judgment on that fpirit, which was fceking 
 to fupport the teftimony with unfanclificd hands, 
 and to have their honour from men, forgetting that 
 holy anointing and preparation of heart, whereby 
 the Lord becomes fandtified in all thofe that draw 
 nigh unto him, and the bread that he gives them to 
 break receives a bleffing upon it, in that it fhall not 
 be void, but prove a vifitation of his love to thofe 
 to whom it is fent, whether they will hear or for- 
 bear. Here we had afrefh to obferve, that where 
 minifters maintain their inward exercife, and keep 
 near to their gifts, the fpirit of true difcernment, 
 which fearcheth all things, is not wanting to prove, 
 from the line in which it leads them, the rectitude 
 of their miniftry to the living and wife in heart ; 
 who judge not by the fight of the eye, or the 
 hearing of the ear, but by the unerring evidence of 
 truth, which remains to be the favour of life unto 
 life. Our minds were thankful, under the frefh 
 {en{e of divine favour and ftrength, in being found 
 worthy to fuffer with the fuffering feed, and with 
 the little remnant that are thus exercifed, and who 
 belong to this meeting : to ; thefe, though they are 
 weak, the bread of encouragement was broken. 
 
 Next morning we fet forward, and on our way, 
 I received an account from my hufband who was 
 then in London, of the death of his father, and 
 that he purpofed going over with the friends who 
 had attended the yearly meeting, to accompany his 
 fifter, and to pay 'a vifit to his mother and friends,
 
 5s The LIFE of 
 
 on this affecting occafion ; reafonswith which my Judg- 
 ment led me to comr'.j } though I felt myfelf deeply 
 afie&ed witii fo unexpected a circumftance j and 
 having re< t< iveying I rrowful intelli- 
 
 i ence on various fu- , 1 was ready, w : fh the ad- 
 ditional concern of the important I in which 
 
 v.\ were engaged, to fink under the general predure 
 of my mind. Birr, in this Situation, I had freih 
 caufe to recur to that divine and invrfible arm 
 which drew me out ; and in the feeling whereof I 
 could then fay, with a degree of holy confidence, 
 " Lord I have left ail to follow thee," to that ftati- 
 on into which I apprehended myfelf called, thou 
 but a child, and to nothing fhort cf a difeiple of 
 the Lamb, to fight under his banner, and to prefer 
 his work to every gratification or concern of my 
 own. I found it was an cafy thing to fay, I v 
 follow thee whercfoever thou leadeft ; but when our 
 fidelity is tried with crofs occurrences in our natural 
 feelings, united to the frefh painful fenfe, that 
 the foxes have holes, &C. then are we ready to 
 fhrink, and defire that the cup may pafs from us, 
 forgetting that all muft be left to the great Difpofer 
 of all things-, that fo, with holy confidence, our 
 rcfolutions may be, n though thou flay me, yet 
 will I truft in thee." Under this difpenfation, 
 I was afrefh ftripped, and became a fuppliant at 
 wifdom's gate ; where, I found, I had nothing to 
 receive for my help, but a patient fubmiffion to the 
 divine will, and renewed ftrcngth, fimply and 
 fingly, to wait, not only refpc6ting circumftanr 
 kg to my facial concerns 3 but in the line of
 
 SARAH G R U E B. 63 
 
 my religious duty, and in the exercife of the gift •, fee- 
 ing that it is only when the eye is fmgle, that the 
 body is full of light. We attended the next meet- 
 in o-, which for a time was inexpi effibly dark and 
 painful ; but being engaged fervently to travail for 
 the refurrection of life, we had renewed!/ to ac- 
 knowledge, that our labours were blfeffedj and 
 ftrength afforded for that time, to awaken a num- 
 ber from a ftate of fpiritual death, and to fhew 
 them the deplorable fituations they wuc in. We 
 proceeded to another meeting, and on i; it day at- 
 tended both the meetings there j in the [irft 6f v'hich 
 we were enabled to relieve our mi Ffbth the 
 
 weight which, in the forepart, der ■ sffeSfed us, 
 and it was a time of renewed favo \n\ Numbers 
 will not hear either the Mafter or ti fervant when 
 found doctrine is delivered unto them : but the 
 moft tine gold becoming changed, and they remem- 
 bering fomething of the work of the Refiner, but 
 not keeping under it themfelves, are making fome,- 
 what for the people which is fpecious, and feeds 
 their itching ears, but which at the fame time is 
 putting death into the pot : fo that for want of 
 thofe that hear recurring to the witnefs for God, 
 the true fpirit of prophecy, the feed of the king- 
 dom becomes ftifled, and total infenfibility enfues ; 
 a ftate over which, in this county, we had deeply to 
 mourn. The meeting in the afternoon was filent, 
 and our minds prtierved in great resignation. On 
 3d clay following ». went to Moorhoufe and Kirk- 
 bride, on 4th at Wigton and Bolton, on 5th at 
 Berkfoot and at Maryport, and on 6th at Ailonby
 
 6* ThlLIFEof 
 
 and Broughton. The clofcnefs of the exercife in 
 meetings, and in travelling, had by this time fen- 
 iibly affected or reduced our ftrength and fpiritl ; 
 but retting on 7th day with a friend helped to re- 
 ftore us a little : yet the wounded and captivated 
 Hate of us as a people, and especially in this county, 
 renders a little prefent reft, like the eating of the 
 pafTover, with bitter herbs ; for how can the fer- 
 vant rejoice where the Mafter reigns not ! On 
 1 ft day we fat with the friends at Pardlhaw, where 
 divine regard was renewedly extended to us and to 
 them, in opening the book of His law, and discover- 
 ing the tranfgreffions of the profeiTors thereof. The 
 fame evening we rode to "Whitehaven, and had a 
 ■meeting there the next day the 10th, which was 
 painful ; but a little opprefftd remnant were ftrength- 
 ened ; for which thankfulnefs ought to arife, and gra- 
 titude cover our fpirits, notwithstanding we, as the 
 poor fervants and off-fcouring of all things, are often 
 abafed under the fenfc of our own nothingnefs, and 
 of our omiffions and cornmiihons ; for on thefe 
 the companionate eye of the Mifter condefcends to 
 look, when we fee ourfelves, and are proftrate be- 
 fore him, under the fenfe of how liable we are to 
 fwerve to the right hand or to the left, from the 
 clear and pure openings of truth in our religious 
 fervices, without a clofe attention of mind thereto. 
 This requires a previous ftrippednefs, and baptihn 
 of fpirit, that our own activity may be reduced, 
 and fubjected to the Power that quickeneth and 
 giveth life, and that, Likewife, unprofitable timi- 
 dity and fear of man, may become fo removed,
 
 SARAH GRUB 13. 65 
 
 that we can, with finglenefs, and. refignation, depend 
 folely upon the fimple revelation of the divine will. 
 For thoush it is needful for our refinement, and 
 fitnefs for fervice, to be clothed with the fenfe of 
 our weaknefs, and the infufficiency of our wifdom 
 and difcernment in the myfteries of the kingdom, 
 and in performing the leaft work for the fpiritual 
 building -, yet on this, when called to labour, our 
 eye fhould not be fixed, but reft, with faith, on the 
 invifible arm of divine power •, that being in a fitua- 
 tion ready to receive help from it, we may be there- 
 with content, and favoured with that blefling which 
 renders acceptable the fmalleft offering, or the bread, 
 that may be compared but to the barley loaf. We 
 went to another meeting, where things are very 
 low, fome of the members being fo weak as to let 
 fall fome of the fundamental principles of our pro- 
 feflion j whereby the few that are faithful are op- 
 prefTed with the fced } and are ready to fink under 
 difcouragements, and alfo with fome appearances in 
 the miniftry, concerning which we felt no aniwer 
 of life as unto life. Here we lodged at the houfe 
 of our valuable friends J. and B. D. who, next 
 day accompanied us, with fome other friends, to 
 Kefwick, where we had a pretty large and fatisfac- 
 tory meeting amongft the town's people. On fifth 
 day the thirteenth, we attended the week day meet- 
 ing, and monthly felect meeting at Greyfouthen, 
 where gracious condefcenfion was eminently extend- 
 ed to us, and to the members thereof; and we part- 
 ed with many of our friends on that fide, in much 
 affectionate fellowfhip, and fympathy with each
 
 66 T h e L I F E o f 
 
 others' tried fituations, ariling from the deep dcekn- 
 lion and defolation which widely fpread over us as a 
 people. Next morning we rode to [fell meeting, in 
 a very ftormy, tempefiuous day, Co much lo, that 
 the friends belonging to the meeting duril not ven- 
 ture out, except three men, for whom, in a cold 
 damp meeting-houfe, we waited in our wet cloaths 
 thre< quarters of an hour; having no better accom- 
 modations for ourfelves or horfes, than a bare fiiel- 
 ter from the heavy rain that fell here. We hit 
 down with the few that came, and our guides, 
 ready to conclude that, under thefe circumftances, 
 it would be an unavailing attempt to have our minds 
 properly flayed ; but he who mercifully condefcends 
 to vifit the two or three that gather in his name, 
 was pleafed eminently to own us that day. I re- 
 membered, and had to open the paffage, " Blefied 
 is that fervant that watcheth, and keepeth his gar- 
 ment, and who, when his Lord comcth, is found 
 ready." It appeared to my mind that all thofe who 
 have enlifted under the fpiritual, unconqucred Cap- 
 tain, have received a mark thereof, a change of 
 heart, an awful covering of fpirit, a loving one 
 another, and means whereby fuch might ftand in 
 readinefs for the word of command ; and that 
 therefore the peculiar blclling of the divine hand 
 refts upon thefe faithful lcrvants, who when not actu- 
 ally in fervice, lb remember their office, as to h 
 fit, when called thereto, to ftcp into it, and move 
 only in that raiment, and with that armour, v/hi 
 the mafter gives them. Tor want of this watchful, 
 attentive caro, in times of withdrawing, mftnj
 
 SARAH GRUBB, 67 
 
 amongft us, when there has been an opening for 
 labour, have not been found ready, nor approved 
 worthy, to advocate the heavenly caufe ; and thus 
 the warfare has not been maintained, but the battle 
 is retarded, Ifrael falls before his enemies, and the 
 accurfed thing is in the tribe of Judah. At the 
 clofe of this meeting, where my mind had been led 
 to centre to a quiet dependance on the fmalieft evi- 
 dence of the divine will, after fome clays of deep 
 probation, and frequent defection of fpirit, the 
 aforefaid paffage, " blefied is that fervant, &c." 
 powerfully revived and fpread before me, and, with 
 a voice intelligible to my fpiritual ear, applied it to 
 myfelf; which introduced fuch a calm over my 
 mind, and feparation from the natural feelings there- 
 of, as I never before experienced. Under this 
 fenfe, I concluded it was the laft meeting I fhould 
 ever be at ; that the dedication of my heart, and 
 fome afflictive difpenfatioris that were paft, had 
 proved acceptable, and that now there was no ob- 
 ilruction to my final diffolution ; nor an attachment 
 in me to any thing below : a fituation of mind fo 
 different from what I ufually felt, when I have 
 feared that the clofenefs of my connections had the 
 afcendency over my love, and travail of fpirit for 
 the caufe of truth, that I wondered at the change. 
 I looked towards my friends, faw fome of them in 
 their places, and feeling myfelf in my own, without 
 a cord to break, I apprehended that, in a very little 
 time, I fhould be gathered to that eternal habitation 
 of reft, whereinto I never before fo fenfibly entered, 
 and of which I had never fuch a foretafte. It was
 
 68 Thf; LIFE of 
 
 nothing that elated me, my natural ideas were dor- 
 t, but what I experienced feemed folid fubftan- 
 lift] truth. After the meeting broke up, and I was 
 making the necefiary preparations for proceeding to 
 the next meeting, there was no interruption to my 
 mind, till riding along the road, with a freih, aw- 
 ful application to the Lord, and breathing that I 
 might not reft too much under this imprciTion, and 
 that if there was any other end to anl'wer than 
 what I had {ccn, it might be difcovered ; left by 
 ::ig too much at an opening fo comfortable to 
 myfelf, I fhould be in danger of neglecting a conti- 
 nued excrcife of fpirit, and the fer\iee I might be 
 called to from place to place ; and thereby render 
 that which was intended a bleffing, a block in 
 my way in prefling after lb defirable an end as had 
 opened therein : thus waiting to fee further the 
 way caft up for me, I thought I clearly difcovered, 
 that it was a mark of divine regard at that time 
 extended, in order to fhew mc the excellent, ulti- 
 mate, effect of what I had had to open to others ; 
 and the need there was lor me to attend to it myfelf, 
 during the courfe of my own pilgrimage •, and alio 
 to remove an idea, that the ties of nature are fo in* 
 terwoven with my attachment to eternal excellency 
 and purity, that tin I ration mull be, like the 
 furnace being heated feven tin* 8 hotter than it had 
 i re been experienced. Inftead of this, I had to 
 behold, in humble admiration, thl works oi an al- 
 mighty hand in the deeps, and how, when ourhearti 
 are upright before him, he invilibiy v. orks our de- 
 liverance, by means which the unenlightened under-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 6 9 
 
 ftanding of. man cannot comprehend. When the 
 power of truth predominates, we fee, in the vifion 
 of light, its fuperiority to every natural endowment 
 or gratification ; fo that the infurmountable difficul- 
 ties that are beheld by the natural eye, are fubjecl:- 
 ed, and the mountain of the Lord is exalted on the 
 top of all the hills. In commemoration of this 
 token of divine regard, my mind is bowed, under 
 the fenfe of my own unworthinefs, and how unable 
 I am, notwithstanding this view, to dwell in a ftate 
 of prefervation and acceptance, without wreftling, 
 from time to time, for that faith which overcometh, 
 and that patience whereby we are kept in the hour 
 of temptation : for if the Lord keep not the city, 
 the watchman watcheth but in vain. After the 
 meeting at Ifell we went to Coklbeck, where we 
 had a fuffering time, but were enabled in a good 
 degree to fearch out the caufe. Next day we at- 
 tended a meeting at Mofedale, where we bad 
 comfortably to obferve that the Mafter's feet had 
 been, though in general things are very low. On 
 firft day, the fixteenth, we were at both their meet- 
 ings at Penrith, where we painfully felt the oppref- 
 lion of the feed, as in many other places. That 
 evening we rode to Terril, and next morning had a 
 meeting there ; where the neceffity of thofe who are 
 called to the miniftry fitting loofe from outward 
 connections and profits, and following the Mafter 
 whitherfoever he leads them, was clearly fet forth. 
 From hence we went to Strickland meeting, and on 
 our way, I had a fall from my horfe, with which I 
 was hurt, but attended the meeting, which was fa-
 
 7 o The LI F E o f 
 
 voureJ, and I gradually recovered. From Strick- 
 land we went to Hawklhead, and from thence to 
 Swarthmore, where many not of our fociety attend- 
 ed ; and ic proved an eminently favoured i'cafon. 
 Our next meeting was at Height which was a low 
 time. We then proceeded to another meeting, 
 relied and wrote on 7th day ; and on firft fat both 
 their meetings, where we had fecretly to mourn 
 over, and publicly to difcover, the affecting fituati- 
 on of thofe who, from year to year, have been di- 
 vinely favoured, and, like the vineyard we read of, 
 dug about, fenced, and vifited by the good Hufband- 
 nran : but oh, the falling lhort ! one may plant, and 
 another may water, yet as the increafe is of the 
 Lord, and He not being devotedly fought unto, for 
 that dew of heaven which renders us fruitful, and 
 that pruning hand which would keep the branches 
 clean, numbers, after having been planted choice 
 vines, have become the degenerate plants of a 
 ftrange vine unto the Lord ; and notwithstanding 
 they keep a greennefs, and an appearance of life, it 
 was clear to the view of our minds, that if there 
 was not a getting deeper, even to the wafhing 
 pool, and being (tripped of themfelves, the princes 
 alfo arifing from the dull of the earth and anointing 
 the fhield, that Spiritual death will greatly increafe 
 amonglt them, and the judgments of the Lord for 
 dii. ace will enfue. We took the week follow- 
 
 ing, Prc/lon, >edb rg, D< ,r, Garfdale, Ra- 
 
 venftonedale, and Lartington; and alio had a fatif- 
 at liowes, where are non : of our 
 fociety, and at the OtherSj we were favoured with 

 
 SARAH GRUBB. yi 
 
 ftrength for the exercife that fell to our lot therein. 
 The fir ft day following, we attended the meeting at 
 Staindrop, and another in the evening at Bifhop 
 Aukland ; on fecond day we went to Durham to 
 their quarterly meeting, attended the feveral fit- 
 tings thereof: in all which we were enabled, far 
 beyond our expectation, to relieve our minds, by 
 honeftly, in the fear of the Lord, and not of man, 
 exprefhng our fenfe of the ftate of things amongft 
 them ; and it was a time of renewed favour. From 
 thence we went forward, and at a meeting wherein 
 the uncircumcifed fpirit was painfully felt to prevail 
 in the forepart thereof, but our help and fafety 
 depending upon our going down to the brook, we 
 were engaged patiently to wait for divine clothing, 
 knowing that it would be dangerous to go againft 
 them in untried armour, notwithftanding the cauie 
 might be good : and we may thankfully fay, that 
 good is the word of the Lord, and efficacious to the 
 fmiting of the Goliahs of this day." 
 
 Her own account of this journey ends here ; 
 but it appears that fhe proceeded from this place, 
 and vifited the meetings at Stockton, and Yarm, 
 back to Benfieldfide, then Ayton, Bilfdale, and 
 Kirby, and returned home about the middle of the 
 feventh month. 
 
 After fhe had got out of Scotland, fhe and her 
 companion felt their minds difpofed to falute the 
 friends of the monthly meeting of Old Meldrura 
 with an epiftle ; a copy whereof follows.
 
 7 2 The L I F E of 
 
 Dear Friends ! 
 " As in our travelling along, we have frequently 
 felt our minds covered with an earneit engagement 
 for your preservation, and a fenic of the love of our 
 heavenly Father towards you, which engaged us to 
 pay you a vifit, we are drawn in the renewed ex- 
 tendings thereof, to falute you with a few lines, 
 and, according to the ability received, to Strengthen 
 the little life that is amongft you ; that the elders 
 may be gathered to the true place of feeding, the mid- 
 dle-aged arifmg may become men and women of 
 valour for God, and the youth having examples fet 
 before their eyes of a Steady circumfpect walking, 
 feafoned with divine virtue, may be engaged, by the 
 efficacy of the fame holy principle, to fuccced their 
 i 1 nts, and the faithful in all ages, in carrying for- 
 ward the Lord's work, and in His name, which is 
 I lis power, letting up their banners. But, dear 
 friends, as there are many impediments which have 
 hindered us as a people, both in this land and in 
 your . n advancing in our fpiritual progrefs, and 
 increasing our Strength in the Lord, let us enquire 
 into the caul'c whence they have come, and to what 
 they will tend ; for if we hdd kept to the lure foun- 
 dation, and in all things considered ourfelves the 
 followers of a crucified Lord, rather than nor 
 members of a reli ty : and been concerned 
 
 to w.dk even as lie walked J the (hares of the ene- 
 my would not have prevailed to have led fo many 
 
 into a mange land ; hecaufc, againtt the 
 
 , whereon we might have been built, 
 
 •» of hell lhftll never be able to prevail. I nit
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 73 
 
 for want of keeping an eye open to this preferr- 
 ing Power, a fpirit of indifferency hath crept in, 
 and, whilft many have flept, tares have been fown ; 
 which, as they fpring up, have had a tendency to 
 choak the good feed, thofe tender impreffions, and 
 reproofs of inftruction, which would have prepared 
 our fpirits, and have bound them to the holy law 
 and teftimonies of truth. Thus, ftrength hath been 
 wanting to maintain the difcipline of the church, in 
 that purity wherein it was fir ft eftabliihed ; and a 
 door hath opened for encrealing liberties. Hence, 
 hath enfued a mixing with the fpirit, and cuftoms 
 of the world j fo that thofe who have not been 
 taught the fame doctrines, but are looking upon us, 
 may query, " where is your God ?" feeing, that 
 though we profefs to be led and guided by the fpi- 
 rit of truth, our fruits differ not from theirs ; but 
 the crofs is removed out of the way. As one devi- 
 ation from the path our predecellors walked in, 
 conformable to the precepts of Chrift, painfully 
 affected our minds, both when our lot was caft 
 amongft you, and fince ; we feel not eafy without 
 renewedly obferving, that, in the promife of the re- 
 ftoration to Ifrael, it was laid, " I will turn to the 
 people a pure language j" and knowing that this 
 golpel day is ftill more glorious than that, if we did 
 but live in the light thereof, which would clearly 
 difcover to us the corrupt fouarce of flattering titles, 
 and feeking to gratify the vain mind of man, how- 
 can we, without iacrificing the principle -of truth, 
 
 E
 
 74 The LIFE oi 
 
 Which leads and guides into all truth, give up that pure 
 language to which our forefathers were turned, and 
 adopt the unfound words of You to a fingle perfon ; 
 and calling the d3ys of the week and months by the 
 heathen names ; and thofe, our mafters and mi ft re T- 
 fcsj who are not really fo' y forget ting the command 
 to call no man, matter. Is not this returning to 
 the night of apoftafy, and in our dealings and con- 
 verfe with men, crucifying afrefh the Son of God, 
 and putting him to open fhame, by thus denying, 
 or refuting to bear his crofs and teftimony to the 
 world ? 
 
 " We believe there is a number amongft you, who, 
 by example, have been trained in a deviation from 
 our holy profeflion •, and thefe we tenderly addrels, 
 and exhort to feel for themfelves after the influence 
 of that holy fpirit, which leads its followers in the 
 fame path, however remote from outward help their 
 fituations in life maybe; for the peculiar privilege 
 of thefe is, they need not that any man teach them, 
 but as this fame divine anointing tcacheth them 
 all things. Though you may have but few to 
 ftr'jngthcn your hands, by their example and fym- 
 pathv with you in your honeft endeavours to breads 
 down the partition walls, which the enemy has rail- 
 ed to prevent your advancement to the perfect day 
 of God •, yet be not dilmayed in your labours i but 
 member the fervent zeal of our predecefibrs in the 
 
 truth •, how they endured the perfecutions of that 
 day, and how, with unconquerable fortitude and re- 
 signation to the Lord's will, they fteadily purfued
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 75 
 
 the path of true felf-denlal, and fought the good 
 fight of faith. And if we, in this day of deep 
 declenfion, look to the Rock of our ftrength, we 
 cannot fail to find that it is a day which calls for 
 diligence j and that whatever pointings of duty we 
 are favoured with, our prefervation depends upon a 
 faithfulnefs thereto. And therefore, beloved friends, 
 be ye engaged to fee what it is that keeps you in a 
 ftate of weaknefs, and prevents your feeling the 
 ftrengthening and confolating influence of the fpirit 
 of Chrift ; that fo, you may be enabled to remove 
 the impediment out of the way, be faithful to the 
 Lord, and frand in the authority of his truth ; that 
 endeavouring to rule your own houfes well, and to 
 have your children in fubjec~tion with all gravity, 
 you may know his baptizing power upon your fpirits, 
 in your aflembling together •, and your fecret proftra- 
 tion and fervent breathings, will be acceptable to 
 his holy eye, and blefTed by his bountiful hand ; and 
 in your meetings for discipline, you will iikewife be 
 feafoned with the (alt of the covenant, and by your 
 honeft endeavours to keep the camp clean from all 
 diforderly walkers, you will grow ftronger and 
 itronger, and your minds become united together in 
 the bond of true peace. Thus, may it pleafe the 
 Lord to operate upon your fpirits, and to influence 
 the youth amongft you to a watchful attention to 
 their thoughts, their words, and actions •, that being 
 prefer ved from mixing with thofe, who would draw 
 away their minds from the difcoveries of truth, and 
 
 E 2
 
 76 The LI F E o v 
 
 centre them in the corrupt language, and change- 
 able cuftoms of the world, they may prefer a reli- 
 gious awfulnefs upon their fpirits, and feck for that 
 pure fear of the Lord which is a fountain of life, 
 preferring from the fnares of death, and iteming a 
 fafe hiding-place in the day of trouble. With fatif- 
 faetion we acknowledge, that we felt, whillt with 
 you, that the hand of the Lord has been at work 
 upon the minds of the youth, and that fome of 
 thefe have fubmitted thereto j to whom our fpirits 
 were, and are led into near fympathy, and tilled 
 with an earncft defire for their prefervation and pro- 
 grefs in that good work which is begun in their hearts. 
 Be encouraged, beloved friends, to hold on your 
 way, and more fully to iubmit your necks to the 
 holy yoke ; that thereby you may be made willing 
 to fuffcr for the cauie cf truth; and though you 
 may not have many examples and helpers in the 
 Lord, yet being engaged to dwell near the Root 
 of divine life, and licking for ftrength therefrom, 
 you will feel the progreflive difpenfation of the 
 heavenly Vifitant, and grow in ftature, from the 
 fta'e of children, to young men in the Lord ; 
 let fituations be what they may, and outward .id- 
 vantages ever fo great, we are abundantly con- 
 vinced, that whoever experience an inheritance 
 in the truth, and an eftablifhment therein, muft 
 purchafe it for themfelves, learn to live on manna 
 of their own gathering, and know from whence 
 all their frelh fprings proceed id now, d 
 
 , the fervent I i ire < \ its is, that
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 77 
 
 you may be ftirred up to a renewed fenfe of the de- 
 clenfion of the prefent day, and under it, be engaged 
 to leek for itrength to flabliih yau in every good word 
 and work ; that being eiothed with a zeal accord- 
 ing to knowledge, for the profperity of Zion, and 
 the enlargement of her borders, you may become 
 eftablifhed as a city fet upon a hill, having the 
 light of the golpel day upon your dwellings. 
 Betifieldfule, 7th month 7th, 1782. 
 
 E 3
 
 T h f L I i ■ L . 
 
 C K A P. III. 
 
 irtlar.d — 
 
 h is'. . — 
 
 . . . 
 
 1- the nth - : an inclina- 
 
 to accompany her 
 . . en 'c :o their relations. 
 
 h fhe met with 
 pre^ ■ in Ireland . with her hum- 
 
 e of mind and engagements there, 
 
 .owing letters, 
 ■ in that la. 
 
 ; is uncomfon 
 
 of ccrr.pany, and 
 but i and though it is made eafier 
 
 . journey altogether is 
 On furveying i 
 
 not 
 yet : though I am low, anu 
 
 n is a trial of both f pal nee. 
 
 Ind 
 
 . ever prove a ti 
 
 i . and to fteer wifely 
 
 . of ol:
 
 ..RAH G R U B B. 
 . proipect of die ban 
 
 . 
 
 li I was greatly - ten we got te 
 
 Holyhead, he : :bon to be in Dublin, and _ . a U 
 
 tor bet - " :. Ha . 
 ~ . .. We we:.: t lea next day, were t 
 
 : >ut for fc .: . tours • and I then returned ex- 
 treme i ::.-»: 
 danbl I ... . .._ bether be flicu.i . ba : 
 
 to burr me there. I thought as i: ts bit bead 
 was laid after our return, that I per : . re d a cup 
 :-.Tzr than death; for :.. : ..-./. except on 
 R. G.'s account, 'I ihould not ban* legteUed 
 £ha_._ irt . aomefik be indtexnpc. 
 
 bk :f life, when. - E m I :.:-. we :re 
 
 :_ upon. :: I : u Dy and w of bee I 
 
 to do the will oi our heavenly Father. To have a 
 
 me sting a : H pre (c □ : : . with great weight, 
 
 and at the fame time the appearance of things to J 
 me that, on various account. ; nay own bodily wea_-c- 
 nefs sol the keafi it was an impotubiltry. I was 
 afraid, but I think I was not rebellious. In the 
 depth of o .:-'::*;, I offered myfelf as one unable to 
 amwer the requiring, hoping the offering wowid be 
 
 xne ram -vould be ca : .: in the 
 
 thicket 5 here the cull ieemed renewed toe: :;, 
 
 . £ce ; and I I : fhort 
 
 td was offered, the " . nyfelf 
 
 in fa'thfi. - ] led to do, I 
 
 .". . . into a ihare, a: en 
 
 fcon :. i of the re rand ...... with 
 
 £4
 
 So The LIFE o p 
 
 the query, Who hath required this at thy hands ? 
 Prefent rice, and fubfervience to th< tion 
 
 of truth on our minds, is no doubt what will pre- 
 ferve us on this Tea of glafs mingled with fire ; for 
 if we' keep with the life, and mov< therein, it will 
 keep us humble, reduce our confidence in the fleih, 
 and draw us down into differing with it. When 
 our dwelling is as amongft the pots, and no goodli- 
 nefs remaineth in us, then we know in whom is 
 eternal help, and the travail of our fpirits is for 
 ability to look tdwards his holy habitation. Our 
 firft failing was on fourth day, and by fixth day I 
 was got fomething better, when the captain, and a 
 great number of paffengers were difpofed to fail, 
 and none of them more fo than ourfelves, if the 
 wind would take us, which, according to the feel- 
 ings of my mind, I believed would net ; but I have 
 no caufe to think it was unacceptable to try the 
 fleece again •, which we did, and after getting out 
 of the harbour, the wind turned againft us, and 
 grew very rough. The vcflcl was violently toiled, 
 and at one time we were in great danger of founder- 
 ing. I lay quietly as I could, beholding the won- 
 ders of an a y hand concerning us - y and in the 
 deeps, both fpiritually and temporally, I felt myfelf 
 a Jonah, when the people were crying, that tl 
 was one on rid all was tremendous about 
 me. The danger we were in was evidi nt, but 
 hop' failed me •, which I cfreenn d an unf;> 
 able ' v, and which led me to a gre: 
 ; I had before felt, to give up to the meet- 
 ing, or any tl fe thai We were
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 8r 
 
 out this time but about four hours, and after we land- 
 ed, a large merchant fhip was wrecked in our fight, 
 but no lives loft. My fituation now became awful ; 
 there feemed no way but refignednefs to the meet- 
 ing;, and that I could not fee was to be till firft dav. 
 My hufband I perceived was afraid, for he conlidered 
 us accountable for whatever the caufe fullered by us, 
 efpecially as there never was a meeting there before. 
 On firft day morning we were tried again, for the 
 wind being fair, we prepared for failing, and when 
 all was ready for going on board, a ftorm came on, 
 and the captain durft not venture to loofe the fhip 
 in the harbour, believing that if he did it would be 
 foon wrecked. We then returned again, and the 
 time came on for the people to go to fome place of 
 worfhip ; when finding an empty houfe near the 
 inn, we engaged it, and felt moft eafy to give notice 
 to but a few, that we were going to fit in our ufual 
 manner to worfhip, and that if they, or any others, 
 chofe to accompany us, we had no objection. Before 
 we got to the place, many were there, and more fol- 
 lowed ; and to our humble admiration, divine 
 affiftance was near, and wonderfully helped us over 
 that fitting. At the concluiion, the people were, 
 defirous of another in the evening, which, ■ when 
 we had conlidered it, we confented to ; and if I 
 may venture to fay, it was crowned with good, and 
 the melting operation of truth appeared to be expe- 
 rienced by many of the people, who behaved with 
 great folidity. The next evening tide fuited for our 
 paffage, and with peaceful minds we embarked, and 
 
 E5
 
 82 The LfPt «i 
 
 were but nine hours from bay to bey. Tims have 
 we cattfc to turn back to this page of our lives, with 
 humble gratitude of mind, and to acknowledge that 
 a fimple pointing of duty, and a fimple dilcharge 
 thereof, is productive of folid fatisfaclion, when, 
 on the other bund, no exertion or anxiety of our 
 own, can furnifh us with one grain of it, nor can 
 we, by taking thought, add one cubit to our ftature!" 
 
 " Often, very often, finee I faw your 
 
 /aces, has my mind viiited you in affectionate ncar- 
 nefs ; but I have feldom felt greater inability, than 
 fince I came into this land, thus to ronve> fe with 
 my friends •, for as our coming was hidden, it bas 
 occafioned deep fearcbings of heart, for prefer- 
 ■vation, and direction how to move in the line of 
 wifdom. 
 
 " We met with a very cordial reception in Ire- 
 land ; the hofpitality and afFec'lion of our friends 
 were net iinacceptable to a poor ftranger like me ; 
 ncverthclefs my mind has not feemed at libertv, as 
 I could have wifhed, to enjoy that fociety which is 
 gratifying to felf. It is good for us renewedly to 
 feel ouriclves not our own, to Hand refigned to the 
 divine will, and to know it to be our meat and drink 
 to do it. Every little additional experience tends to 
 convince us, that herein confifts our moft folid and 
 permanent fatisfacVion ; and were our difpofition of 
 nfiftance to the painful preparation for devotedm :fi 
 removed, we fhould more often have hclinplv to 
 acknowledge, that with the divine blcflings, there is 
 added no forrow •, but we make fnrrows for onr- 
 felvcs, vc add that which our gracious Benefactor
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 83 
 
 hath not in ftore for us. A path exempt from 
 trials is what I have no right to expect, and what I 
 hope I am learning not to deiire. A patient fub- 
 miffion to every divine difpenfation, is what I wifll 
 for an encreafe of; that fo, the mingled cup of life 
 may prove a profitable draught, and imprefs me, 
 more and more, with a-n humble fenfe of the multi- 
 plied bleffings beftowed upon me : for by this means, 
 I believe we fhall encreafe in knowledge how to 
 move and conduct ourfelves, amidft the various 
 temptations, befetments, and crofs occurrences, inci- 
 dent to this pi'obationary ftate. 
 
 " We went pretty directly from Dublin for Clon- 
 mel, after the half-year's meeting, and fpent two 
 days very much to my inftruction, at Ballitore. 
 We ftaid about ten days amongft our relations, who 
 are valuable and kind, and then went for Carlow 
 quarterly meeting, where were Robert Valentine and 
 his companion, &c. I think, upon the whole, it was 
 a very favoured gathering, though here, as in our 
 land, the world and its fpirit has made great 
 devaftation and fcattering amongft the gathered 
 tribes." 
 
 " We look with a degree of fatisfadtion at 
 
 our return. A little reft to body and mind will 
 be truly acceptable, as our vifit to our relations feems 
 now completed. Our palTage through this land 
 has been encumbered with many thorns, and attend- 
 ed with many trials unforefeen by us. It is a day 
 of deep humiliation, and it fometimes looks as if 
 our judgment was taken away. I want not to make 
 complaints ; I wifh rather to profit by what I have
 
 The LIFE of 
 
 : , an J reap inftru&ion from every renewed 
 difpenfation of infinite kindnefs •, I tnyfelf un- 
 
 worthy of the Ieaft of His bent , tnd thatj with- 
 His peculiar care, 1 fhall be over wh , ami 
 
 -war; le from the (lability of the truth: but by 
 
 being b; I into a Jeep fenfc of my i wn w< 
 
 nefs and frailty i I have been led to ackno\ 
 that even the bitter things are fweet •, feeing, that 
 in infinite wifdom, they are ordered for the 
 lengthening o{ our fpiritual appetite, and bring- 
 ing down that part in us which is at enmity with 
 the crofs, an J loves not its government in the 
 
 Her home f ars ;.ft t. r lur marriage, 
 
 was at Foiton, a village ten mil< fi n York. This 
 was to her a comfortable r>. when not en- 
 
 gaged abroad in the fervice of truth. But ih< 
 gratifying to nature, and a defirable refl ace, 
 
 her concern for the advancement of her great 
 Mailer's caufe, which was her moft defired meat 
 an.1 drink, often < tiled h< r from this abode, lb 
 that (lie feldom refided there for a month together. 
 It a I, indeed, that fhe was unwearied in pro- 
 
 moting the caufe of truth and righteoufnefs, and 
 willing to fpend and be fpent for the great Name's 
 
 In the fpring of the year 1784, fhe appears to 
 have been engaged in a vifit to the meetings and 
 fomc families of friends, in Norfolk, and to dr 
 other n • , aslhepn L to the yearly meeting 
 
 at London. Of this religious cngagemci ■> 1 o.i
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 85 
 
 accounts of her own, hnve been difcovered ; the 
 following are the material parts of all that have been 
 collected from her letters. 
 
 " We had nine meetings laft week, at 
 
 eight different places, befide private opportunities 
 in families, which we durft not avoid ; finding the 
 declenfion to be fo great in almofl every one, where 
 we have come, and fo few who feem to know it, 
 that we are ready to fay, For Zion's fake we cannot 
 reft nor hold our peace, till at leaft they are inform- 
 ed of their ftate." " We attended their week 
 
 day meeting at this place, with which we were well 
 fatisfied, it being a time of much in ftr action, how- 
 ever to my mind ; finding by a degree of living ex- 
 perience, that there is indeed a Minifter of minif- 
 ters, on whom we have great caufe to wait to be 
 initructed ourielves, in our private, as well as pub- 
 lic duty •, that, in all things, we may approve our- 
 feves obedient fervants, and good examples to the 
 flock. It was my lot to lit in iilence, viewing the 
 great, and almoft general infenfibility to true re- 
 ligion*" 
 
 " We have not only travelled hard, but 
 
 found much work at places where we have come, 
 finding it rather more than ufual in the line of our 
 duty, to bear a teftimony, not only to the truth, 
 but againft the numerous evils and inconfiftencies, 
 which have generally overfpread the profefTors in 
 thefe parts ; and as our peace much depends, in our 
 pafling along, in being honeft, and fpeaking the truth 
 without parables, we have been enabled, pretty to- 
 lerably, to difcharge our duty, and to fhew them
 
 86 Tun LIFE op 
 
 how far they are from what they pretend to be; 
 though 'tis hard work, and we find that the more 
 abundantV we manifeft our love in this way* 
 the lefs we are loved by many who have been ud d 
 to fmooth things, and have fought to make the 
 truth conform to them, inftead of this conduct 
 being brought to, and regulated by the truth. So 
 that indeed many are blind in error, and thofe that 
 fee, will not exert themfelves to fearch their own 
 houfes, and remove the inconfiftencies that are in 
 them. A mournful profpect appears in thefe, as 
 we'll as many other parts ; no likelihood of a fuccef- 
 fion in the truth, and even the prefent ftandard-bcar- 
 crs ready to faint. Under thefe imprcfiions, we I 
 not great things for ourfelves, but rather are difpof- 
 cd to coniider it a favour, (great enough for us to 
 expect) if we have our lives for a prey, from one 
 place to another. 
 
 " We have little expectation, that in any fittings, 
 our minds will get above the fpirits of this people ; 
 and till that itrength arifes which puts the armies 
 of aliens to flight, I truft (TOT lips will be fealed, and 
 we content therewith ; for indeed, it is not m\ eaiy 
 tafk to minifter to this degenerate age, who think 
 they know all things, and, like the magicians in 
 Egypt, can account fur all the works of the divine 
 hand : but what a favour it is, that there is ftill ex- 
 tended to us as a people, that power which con- 
 founds the wifdom of thefe, and brings to nought 
 their great underftanding." 
 
 ■ " We have been much engaged the few 
 
 days we have ltaid at Norwich. It has been to our
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 87 
 
 mind? a fufFering time, during our ftay in that place ; 
 but though we have mourned, and perhaps rather 
 murmured at times, yet we have great caufe to be 
 thankful for the help wherewith, in infinite kind- 
 nefs, we have been helped. It is a day of great 
 diicourasement, and I think I was never more 
 ready to lay down my armour, than in iilence this 
 day at meeting. The fituation of mind I was in, I 
 found tended to humble and reduce the creature ; 
 and as my foul was hungry, even the bitter food I 
 partook of, became fweet, and I faw the profit of 
 thefe leafons." 
 
 " We left Norwich on feventh day, were 
 
 at Yarmouth on firft, Pakefield on fecond, Becles 
 on third, Leifton fourth, and Woodbridge to day, 
 where, as at fome other places, we fat in mournful, 
 but I truft inftrudtive filence. What falls at times 
 to our lots in meetings, and fometimes in converfa- 
 tions out of them, feems much like pulling down 
 old houfes, and we are often afraid of being choak- 
 ed in the duft ; for indeed moft of the buildings we 
 fee are painfully fuperficial, and our little labour 
 has been deeply diftreffing •, fo that the language of 
 my heart often is, " Who hath believed our re- 
 port ?" but I am thankful in feeling the burden de- 
 creaiing, as our work feems clofing." 
 
 In the year following fhe felt a religious concern to 
 join her friend Rebecca Jones, on a vilit to the meet- 
 ings of friends in Ireland, &c. and having laid the 
 fame before the monthly meeting, with the appro- 
 bation thereof, and the concurrence of the quarterly
 
 88 The LIFE of 
 
 meeting, flie fet forward on this journey in the 7th 
 month, 1785. Of this vifit there is preferved a ihort 
 journal written by berfelf, which is as follow 
 
 M I left home the 13th of 7th month 1785, and 
 fpent two nights at York, in order to allow a com- 
 fortable opportunity of taking a l'olid and affection- 
 ate leave of my connections there -, and on the 15th, 
 went with my hufband to Bradford, where, next 
 day, 1 parted with him, he returning to York, and 
 I proceeding with my couiin W. M. (who was to ac- 
 company me to Ireland) for Manchester. 
 
 11 We ftaid there the next day, being the firft of 
 the week, and I was at both their meetings j which 
 favoured to my mind of that righteoufnefs and wif- 
 dom of man, which never can work the righteouf- 
 nefs of God nor favour the things that pertain 
 to His kingdom. 
 
 " But there is a precious fuffcring ^e<\ in that 
 place, to which my fpirit was renewedly united in 
 t 1 covenant of light and 1 On fecond day we 
 
 went) with many friends, down the water to War- 
 rington, where, OD the 19th was held their month- 
 ly meeting, which I felt molt cafy to attend, though I 
 might thereby mils an opportunity of crofflng the 
 
 rer, fo early as I otherwife might choofe ; and I 
 was comfortably fatisfied with this little dedication 
 by the way. I went that evening to Liver] ool, and 
 Waked till 6th day for a fuifable wind for failii 
 During this time, was their week day meeting, and 
 my fpirit was then ■ ' < xercifed, on account of 
 {' '1' who were fubftituting their own righteOU fn< 
 
 for the righteoufnefi of (Jo.i, which is inherited in
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 89 
 
 pure faith, in the virtue and power of that creative 
 Word, by which all things were made, that were 
 made in the fpiritual creation, and by which, 
 through the reduction of the natural will and wis- 
 dom of men, they can no more worihip the work 
 of their own hands : and in the flrength with which, 
 my fpirit was renewedly fupplied, I attempted to ex- 
 prefs fomewhat on this Subject, for which I felt 
 peace. We next day embarked for Dublin, in the 
 Hawke packet, and had a very tedious and diftref- 
 fing voyage, being uncomfortably detained, in part 
 for want of wind, and in part by its being contrary •, 
 the latter occasioning us to put into the Ifle of Man, 
 where we ftaid two nights, and found a very courte- 
 ous and hofpitable reception from the inhabitants. 
 My mind was attached to them, in the fecret effu- 
 fion of golpei love, but feeling abundant weaknefs 
 in myfelf, and wanting that united exercife which 
 is received by fellow labourers, I did not perceive it 
 to be my woe if I preached not the gofpel ; and 
 therefore, in an humble truft that the great Shep- 
 herd of Ifrael would fend more fuitable fervants for 
 that work in that iile, and not put my omiffion in 
 the balance againft me, I embarked again with the 
 reft of our company, fave one, whom we left dead 
 on the ifland. Being out longer than we expected, 
 by two days, our provisions were exhaufted ; and 
 though through divine protection we did not fuffer 
 much from want, yet it was a favour gratefully to 
 be commemorated, that we were enabled through 
 fome difficulty to land when we did j which, with 
 the imtruction conveyed to my mind, under deep
 
 90 The LIFE of 
 
 discouragement, and clofe fearching of heart, when 
 
 all human confolations ftood afar off, afforded hum- 
 ble caufe to believe, that this trying difpenfation was 
 intended as a neceli'arv baptifm of my f|>irit into the 
 Service before me *. On our landing, I foon met 
 
 * A more particular account of this voyage, with fe- 
 vcral additional initnicHve remarks, arc contained in 
 
 the following feleclions from her letters. '* It is 
 
 very unexpc-ftcd to me to write from this port ; but fo 
 little do we know what, in the courfe of divine wifdom, 
 fhall fall to our lot, that every encreafe of experience 
 convinces us, there is no fafer or eafier fituation of mind, 
 than a daily dependance on, and quiet resignation to, 
 Him who knows what is bell for us, and what will tend 
 mod to His own honour. We failed laft ii.xth day from 
 Liverpool, having got there on third, but the wind not 
 being very fair when we fet out, and turning more 
 againft us afterwards, occalioned a troublefomc and 
 wearifome palfage thus far, not only by contrary winds, 
 and fevere licknefs, but by the almoft intolerable llcnch 
 and Suffocating clofenefs of our cabin and lodgings, 
 and the continual wicked, obfeene, conversation of our 
 paffengers, who are feventy in number. Sometimes, I 
 was afraid it would overcome me, both in body and 
 mind ; when recalling to my remembrance the poor 
 Negroes, (who, added to what I have mentioned, in a 
 far worlc degree, arc cha ther, under the load 
 
 of that anguUh naturally attendant on a forced 
 tion from the nearefl connections in Life, and with the 
 proipect of perpetual bondage under cruel talkmalters) 
 my fmall trials in this line, and indeed in every other, 
 diminished in my view ; and the multitude of bleflj 
 in infinite mercy, thowered down, in crowded in their 
 , that at times, inftead of repining, I faw abun- 
 cauie to enquire, " what am I, that tl 'bus 
 
 mindful of me, and what thai] 1 render unto ti.
 
 SARAH GRUBR. 91 
 
 with our honourable friend Samuel Emlen, whofe 
 Animating company and fatherly kindnefs, greatly 
 fevived me, and helped me to leave the things 
 
 We put in at the Lfle of Man, and were hofpitably re- 
 ceived by the inhabitants, whofe engaging fimplicity, 
 and religious zeal, have attached my mind to them. I am 
 fmcerely defirous that if I do nothing for the truth, I 
 may do nothing againft it ; and when I look thus, I 
 feel a comfortable belief, that even this care fhail tend 
 to the furtherance of the gofpel, and that it will fome- 
 what open the way for future fervice in this place ; for 
 if the fenfe that attends my mind be right, when the 
 feet of the meffengers are more eminently turned into 
 the way of the Gentiles, to Pul and Lud, &c. and to 
 the ifles afar off, this little place will not be forgot, but 
 offerings will be brought here to the mountain of the 
 Lord's holinefs, and His glory fhall break forth." 
 
 " I am fafe arrived in this land, and have 
 
 humbly to commemorate divine protection, and fecret 
 fupporting goodnefs in my paffage hither. The ways 
 of the Moft High remain to be ways of wonders, 
 and his acts are paft finding out ; neverthelefs, he ftill 
 revealeth fecrets, as he did unto Abraham, when a de- 
 gree of the fame faithfulnefs is, through His humbling 
 power, attained to ; and without it, how little do we 
 know, even when we think we know moft ? Never did 
 I fo fenfibly enjoy the bofom of the church, which, I 
 may humbly acknowledge, was cordial to receive me ; 
 but how much more excellent is that pure faith, which 
 reveals itfelf when all human coniblations ftand afar 
 off, and by centreing our fpirits therein, wonderfully 
 convinces us, that it is the " fubftance of things hoped 
 for, the evidence of things not feen." 
 
 " I feel myfelf much recovered from fatigue, 
 
 and have gratefully to commemorate divine protection, 
 and fecret fuftaining help, when the feeble efforts of
 
 92 T H E LIFE o !• 
 
 that art- behind, and to prefs forward in profpec't 
 to a decree of humble d ication to the renewed 
 pointings of dutv. My beloved friend R. J. with* 
 G. Dilhvyn and Wife, having performed a family 
 vifit to friends in Dublin, were gone to Ballitore, 
 where they found a fimilar engagement to that in 
 which they had been employed ; and when I reach- 
 ed them, they had nearly iiniihed, and were almoft 
 ready to proceed. In a few days we accordingly 
 fet forward together, viz. G. D. R. J. and myiclf ; 
 our profpects comfortably correfponding one with 
 
 bodily ftrength and natural fortitude, fecmed unequal 
 to render me that fupport, which one grain of living 
 faith affords. Oh ! what abundant reafon we have, 
 not to truft in ourfelves, but in Him who died for us, 
 to whole death, if wc arc not conformable, we cannot 
 fully experience the prevailing power of eternal life." 
 
 " I trufl the probation myfpiiit experienced 
 
 in our pafTage here, will not prove altogether an unpro- 
 fitable difpenfation, on entering a fervice, the right per- 
 formance whereof depend* on our being baptized 
 enough, and weaned enough ; fo that whatever is brought 
 forth may be of the new creation, unconnected with all 
 old heavens, and old earth. And indeed I may fay 
 that, before I left home, though my mind was much 
 flrippcd and tried, I often fufpefted whether I had 
 fully partaken of the neceflary cup of fuffering, pre- 
 paratory to fuch an undertaking as the prefent; and 
 believed I ihould have a trying baptism to r 
 through before I entered upon it; though I n< 
 have no doubt but my I • this way, were in the 
 
 ■ lit time, [t is an unfpeakable blefling I I with 
 
 the j power i f truth by the waj ; and the de- 
 
 fire ol my heart , to be more and more in luvc 
 
 therewith."
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 93 
 
 another, we cheerfully concurred therewith, to tra- 
 vel in company. On the 4th day following we wer t 
 to Chriftians Town, and in the evening vifited a 
 family of young people, one of whom was in a de- 
 clining ftate of health ; to whom, with the reft, in- 
 ftruclion and encouragement were handed, to prefer 
 the humbling difpenfations of infinite wifdom, to all 
 temporal gratifications. We then returned to our 
 lodgings, and fat with the family ; where my belov- 
 ed companion was enabled, in awful fupplication, to 
 breathe for continued fupport, and prefervation in 
 the path of obedience ; which comfortably cement- 
 ed our fpirits together. Next day we went to Rath- 
 angan, where we had to travail for the arifings of 
 pure life, under the difcouraging apprehenfion of 
 its being very low in that place ; but infinite kind- 
 nefs vouchfafed to own the deep exercife, and gra- 
 cioufly fent forth His light and truth, whereby the 
 way to His holy hill was opened in the demonftra- 
 tion of the fpirit and power, and the meeting end- 
 ed under an humbling commemoration of his good- 
 nefs. In the evening we went to New Park, and 
 next morning to the meeting at Timahoa, which 
 was fmall, and the public fervice rather laborious, 
 becaufe of the unfitnefs of many of the profeflbrs 
 to receive fpiritual things. In the afternoon we 
 went to Profperous, a new fettled town, where there 
 are no members of our religious fociety. We had a 
 meeting there much to the fatisfadtion of vifitors 
 and vifited ; the people behaved well, and we had 
 reafon to believe, by the ownings of truth, that 
 there is a precious feed there. We went to New
 
 94 The LIFE of 
 
 Park again to lodge, and in the morning fat with 
 the family and others then prefent, and fame profi- 
 table counfel opened. From thence we went to 
 Edenderry ; and next day, being the firft of the week, 
 we ftaid, and were at their own meeting, tl 
 preparative meeting, a public meeting in the after- 
 noon, and in the evening fat with their minilters 
 and elders ; at all which, merciful help was near 
 in the needful time, and enabled to difcharge 
 our fever. d duties in Simplicity for which the re- 
 ward of peace and quietude was not withheld. 
 On fecond day the 8th of 8th month, we came to 
 Oldcaftle, and were at their meeting next day, 
 where many people not of our fociety attended ; 
 amongfk whom there was opennefs to labour. After 
 meeting we ftaid with thofe few in profeffion with 
 us, when their low eftate was felt, Sympathized with, 
 ami counfel flowed thereto. 
 
 On 4th day we went to Cootehill, where are very 
 few friends ; they are in a poor Shattered Situation 
 as to the life of religion, and Scarce able to keep up 
 their meetings. Many of the town's people came 
 to the meeting, and it was a folid favoured oppor- 
 tunity ; and a comfortable belief attended our minds, 
 that there is a previous Seed in that place ; but the 
 profcilbrs of truth are {tumbling blocks. We fat 
 down with them Select at the conclufion of the 
 meeting, and found it cxcreiiing work to vifit the 
 feed in them, but were enabled honcftly to difcharge 
 our Several duties*. From thence we went to 
 
 * In a letter dated the next day, fhc writes : "Throi: 
 divine fupjort, mercifully vouchsafed from day to day,
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 95 
 
 Caftlefhane, a place very like Cooteliill ; and in the 
 evening after the meeting there, reached Grange, 
 
 near Charlemount, and lodged at the houfe of » 
 
 a vilited young man, who, with two others in his 
 family, afford a comfortable profpect of a revival of 
 ancient fimplicity, and right zeal in that place. 
 Our fpirits were nearly united to them, and the 
 ftreams of encouraging couniel flowed freely for 
 their refrefhment and ftrength. We were at their 
 meeting next day, being the fir ft of the week, 
 which was a fullering time ; and in the evening, had 
 a very large and fatisfactory meeting of the country 
 people not in profeilion with us, who behaved well, 
 and in many of whom the witnefs of truth was 
 raifed. Next day we proceeded to go round Lough- 
 Neagh, by taking Toberhead, Colerain, Ballynacree, 
 Ballimena, Grange, and Antrim ; at all which 
 places, we had deeply to lament the low declined 
 ftate of the profeflbrs of truth, not only as to numbers, 
 but in a departure from the precious, preferving, 
 principle of light and life •, whereby the living mem- 
 bers of the church are kept in their lots, and en- 
 abled to ftand with firmnefs, as a city fet on a hill, 
 
 we have been enabled to difcharge the millions commit- 
 ted, fo as to leave each place with a good degree of 
 peace. Indeed it is a relieving confederation, under the 
 difcouragements that poor travellers often meet with, 
 that the work is not ours, and that an inftrument has 
 only to be paflive in the hand of him that ufeth it, 
 leaving its profperity, and the honour of the caufe, to 
 the all fufficiency of the divine arm, which can work 
 with us or without us."
 
 o<5 1 in. LIFE of 
 
 to the praife of His grace who hath called them out 
 of the world, into His marvellous light. The coun- 
 try people coming in at the aforefaid places, tended 
 to the more free circulation of life, wherein the 
 fpring of gofpel miniilry was fometimes opened •, 
 but it wns my lot to pal's along in gloomy fuffering, 
 and, at times, initructive filence. After meet- 
 ing at Antrim, the 2 lit of 8th month, being met 
 
 a friend and his wife, we returned home with 
 them, and refted next day ; on the evening of 
 which my dear hufband cam', to us from England} 
 and after ltaying in the neighbourhood where we 
 were, and falling in at divers meetings for discip- 
 line with us, he went to Clonmel, and ftaid till we 
 came near that place before we faw him again. On 
 the 2 n\ we went tc Newtown, and next day had a 
 meeting with the few friends there. The know- 
 
 e and virtue of true religion feemed very low 
 amongft them, and it was hard work, by d 
 and fecret exercife, to minifter to the pure life. 
 From !" n< • wc returned to J/fburn, and attended 
 their monthly meeting, wherein a little ftre: 
 feenr en me for fome public labour; but my 
 
 dear companions were filentl) baptized under a 
 concern to vifit t; lilies of friends in that place, 
 
 though the time did not appear to be then come. 
 After being at Hillfborough, Lurgan, Ballyh; 
 Moyallen, and Ballinderry meetings, we returned to 
 Lifburn, and in -about a week performed the Cervices 
 the Minifter of minifters being near to hand forth 
 enei e (often after long fuffering filence) 
 
 initruetiun and eoiiloiation to die vnited
 
 SARAH G R U B E. 97 
 
 Great indifFerence and infenfibility, as to the know- 
 ledge of the Lord's dealings with His people, prevail 
 in that place, though a little tried remnant dwell 
 amongft them *. At the clofe of this vifit, came on 
 the quarterly meeting at Ballinderry for the pro- 
 vince of Ulfter, which was rather a low iuffering time. 
 Here we met with our friend Zachariah Dicks from 
 North Carolina, who was come over on a religious 
 vifit to this land, and who was in fome expectation 
 
 of our companion G. D joining him ; but not 
 
 feeling releafed one from another in the fervice 
 wherein we were joined, it was judged mo ft pru- 
 dent to wait for the openings of truth, as much in 
 our feparation, as we had endeavoured to attend to 
 
 * The following is extracted from a letter bearing 
 date the ift of 9th month, 1785. " Such is the ftate of 
 our fociety in thefe parts, as well as in divers places in 
 our land, that it is hard dragging along for poor travel- 
 lers ; the prevailing death is ready to iwallow them up, 
 and fo put a Hop to all circulation of life. Well ! droop- 
 ing as our ipirits often are, we have no where elfe to go 
 but to the fountain, which is, at times, when faith and 
 patience are at the loweft ebb, unexpectedly opened for our 
 renewed refrefliment, and encouragement to truft a little 
 longer. Here are, notwithstanding, in the North of this 
 nation where we have been, a few beautiful plants 
 amongft the young and younger men, whofe roots arc, 
 I truft, deepening in the heavenly foil ; but in tke prof- 
 pec~t of their future trials, if they are faithful, I am al- 
 moft ready to tremble, there is fuch a hoft of oppofition 
 for them to prefs through, in reviving the purity of the 
 gofpel. We are nearly united to them, and to find 
 them was like meeting with near kindred.
 
 93 Tk; LIFE oi 
 
 them in joining. We left this Province pretty d 
 i after the quart F to- 
 
 "is Dublin, tak ; . I hfriland meeting in our 
 •, to which many town" c came, and it v 
 
 a large and favoured meeting. We reached Dublin 
 the 15th of 9th month, where we ft.. id near a week, 
 meetings, under great oppreffion and 
 c iragement of mind, and without much rei 
 faw an opening to leave the place and go to Tima- 
 hoe. Here we vifited their families and had peace 
 therein. From thence we fet off for Edenderrv ; 
 and going by way of Rathangan, an opening which 
 . put by when we were there before, of 
 g a public meeting amongft the town 1 | le, 
 prefented again ; and we had caufe to admire, how 
 providentially we were caft in th< sfperfori 
 
 h pointings of duty, as had been, m<>ie from 
 C " : -nce than a rebellious mind I over. 11 - 
 
 : ftaid over l'.rf: day, and 1 large c:- » 
 
 meeting in the evening, which was cr My 
 
 difturbed me rude people in liquor, but d'n ■ 
 
 . and it ended well. From R.uh 
 gan we purfucd our joui !a- 
 
 rr. >re, Moat, Ballimurry, Birr'. more, 
 
 * I 
 
 . proff - • ■ . • 
 
 • nough, we f< i t to out 
 
 ere is, in l n fufTcr 
 
 •he ex- 
 
 igfa 
 
 • 
 
 m " ,af -
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 99 
 
 and Rofcrea ; in all which a degree of painful exer- 
 ciie was our lot, under the feeling fenfe of the gene- 
 ral departure of the profefTors of truth, from that 
 ancient, righteous zeal and primitive fimplicity, which 
 the people of God who walked faithfully before 
 Him, were, in all ages, confpicuous for. But He 
 who never faid to the wreftling feed of Jacob, " feek 
 ye my face in vain," gracioufly condefcended to re- 
 ward the travail of our fpirits, by arifing for His 
 own name's fake, and giving ftrength to lift the 
 ftandard of righteoufnefs, and furnifhing with an in- 
 vitation to the youth to repair to it, and fo inherit 
 the bleiTed effects thereof. 
 
 We went to Limerick from Rofcrga, and ftaid 
 there over firft and fecond days. The public meet- 
 ings were low, diftreffing opportunities, and little 
 ability to labour amongft that people, who feem 
 much under the influence of the god of this world : 
 but on firft day evening, a number of youth being 
 preient at T. M's and a few honeft -hearted friends 
 more advanced in years, we had a very favoured fea- 
 fon of retirement, and the ftreams of love and life, 
 through infiructive, confolating miniftry, ran 
 freely. On third day we left Limerick for Yough- 
 all ; my mind was dipped into a fenfe of my own 
 weaknefs, and great difcouragement and difmay fur- 
 
 if our coming anfwers no other end than to flrengthen 
 a few, weak hands, and be inftrumental in revivine 
 the hope of the humble, tried children in the family, 
 it will be enough, though the reward to curiclves may 
 be but fmalL" 
 
 F 2
 
 us Tut LIFE of 
 
 rounded me. I faw tlic neceffity of an rncrcafing 
 labour to dwell near the pure gilt in myfelf, -which I 
 have ever found to be the moil effectual prefervati- 
 on, in the conflicting work of purification and faith- 
 fulnefa in more public fervicej for when it reduces 
 the mind, and brings it down as into the bottom of 
 Jordan, it likewife (lays the billows thereof by pure 
 
 i, and fuccours by the incomes of patience, 
 whereby every divine difpenfation is rendered profit- 
 able, and every bitter thing fweet •, centring us out 
 of the reach of fkfhy confidence} in that ftate of 
 abafcdnel's to winch divine compafllon is moft emi- 
 nently extended. We lodged one night at an inn, 
 and on fourth day reached Youghall, where, on 
 fifth, we had two large and favoured meetings. 
 Next day we got to Springmount near Cork, to the 
 houfe of our dear ami honourable friend S. N. 
 Here I heard of the deceafe of our beloved friend, 
 Robert Waiker, who departed this life at Totten- 
 ham, near London, after having paid an table 
 
 i ins vifit to friends of that city and its nei 
 bourhood. He was a man who having palt'ed 
 through deep baptifms of fpirit, in preparation for 
 the work of the mini ft ry, became eminent therein. 
 The multitude could not judge, neither did they 
 know, his : . Fering defcendings with the 
 
 feed, when crucified in the hearts of the peopl< . 
 
 in the ftreets of fpiritual Sodom ami Egypt ; and 
 confidering himfelf as an unworthy minifter thereto, 
 
 •ion to the difpenfation 
 of the day. Great v hi induftry, and yet many 
 were the trials of his faith for the fupply of tempo-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 101 
 
 ral things. Though unadorned with human litera- 
 ture, he was inftrucled in the fchool of Chrift, as a 
 good Scribe to whom was committed the knowledge 
 of the myfteries of the kingdom, wherein all necef- 
 fary accomplifhments were acquired, and difplayed 
 in goipel Simplicity. 
 
 Since my coming into this Province, the fubjecl 
 which has for fome time been under my confideration, 
 of fettling in thefe parts, has often prefented to my 
 mind ; with an anxious defire, that the moil endear- 
 ed companion of my life, may, with myfclf, be kept 
 fingle in all our views, and refigned in our fpirits to 
 whatever infinite wifdom fees meet to do with us > 
 that the way before us, though it be ftrait and 
 narrow, may not be made more difficult, by any 
 willings and runnings of our own. I am often 
 afraid of myfelf in this refpect ; I feel, when unfup- 
 ported by beft help, a partial attachment to my na- 
 tive land ; and to part with my connections, and 
 fome to whom I am clofely united in fpirit, at 
 times appears hard : but even on this footing, I find 
 a counterpoising weight on my hufband's fide, who 
 has alio valuable relations, and many friends in the 
 beft fenfe, with temporal concerns and conveniencies 
 more fuitable than elfewhere. Oh then, may divine 
 counfel influence our fpirits, in the confideration, and 
 determination of this important ftep ! Thou knoweft 
 O Lord ! the fervency and exercife of my fpirit here- 
 in ; thou knoweft, that, above all things I wifh to 
 ferve thee, with the dedication of all that I have, when 
 thou calleft for it ; and as by thy power only, an holy 
 compliance is wrought ; O withhold it not in the 
 
 F 3
 
 102 Tun LIFE of 
 
 le ! Suffer not our feet to flide from the 
 ancient foundation, but with the right arm of thy 
 :, enable us to make war in righteoufneis, in 
 the lot thou affignelt ! O (hew us the lut ! Suffer ur, 
 not to wander in the dark, but be thou gracioufly 
 fed fpiritually to lead us, by the eloud and pillar 
 ol lire, certain tokens of thy holy approbation of the 
 way th«;t we take ! 
 
 At Cork we fluid, (except going one day to 
 Bandon, and returning the next) eleven days, and 
 attended nine meetings, and m2ny private opportu- 
 nities in friend's fr.milies, where counfel and encour- 
 agement often unexpectedly opened *, which were 
 miniftered under the precious influence of divine 
 love and life *, wherein the fpirits of a remnant were 
 cemented together, in a degree of holy fellowihip, 
 and an exercife generally prevailed to help one ano- 
 • forward in the new and living way •■, which in 
 many places lies much unoccupied, the travellers hav- 
 ing got into paths fo widely different] that it is fome- 
 times difficult to find it , and when found, fo to 
 believe in its rectitude, as to imdce ftruight fteps 
 therein. 
 
 During my ftay in and about Cork, I had fre- 
 
 ruent occafions humbly to commemorate the wif- 
 
 ciom, mercy, and power, of our gracious Helper, 
 
 who, in a time of deep humiliation and adverfity, 
 
 incd my poor toiled foul ; and, by a portion ot 
 
 that holy faith which I knew to be his own immedi- 
 
 . to fee his all-fuffici . and my 
 
 , ?.nd after melting all that was 
 
 :.l-, by his hi ig difp nfationsj fan o
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 103 
 
 again to renew his image upon my heart, and to 
 caufe me to experience more largely the work of the 
 new creation, and the neceffity of ever abiding in 
 lowlinefs of mind, and treading the courts of the 
 Lord with holineis and fear. O ! faid my foul, 
 withhold not from me whatever hath this tendency ; 
 let the voice of the Holy One go forth, which faith, 
 " cut down the tree," rather than it fhould over- 
 fpread, and bring forth fruit, to difhonour the 
 great and excellent Name : neverthelefs, may that 
 which is pure be fattened, as with a band of iron in 
 the tender grafs of the field, that fo, humility and 
 fimplicity may fpring, and more loudly acknowledge, 
 that the Moll High reigns in the kingdoms of men, 
 and giveth of his own precious gifts and favours to 
 whomfoever he will. 
 
 "We went from Cork to the houfe of a friend 
 who, for fome months paft, has been in a low de- 
 jected ftate of mind •, and in the evening my dear 
 companion R. J. was dipt into his fituation, and her 
 mouth was opened in living counfel and encourage- 
 ment, which for a time feemed to revive him. Here 
 I met with my dear hufband, to our mutual confola- 
 tion ; and from hence, after attending a meeting 
 next day at Garryroan, which was rather a low 
 time, we went to Clonmel to our mother's there, 
 and refted one day before the quarterly meeting for 
 Munfter province came on. Our minds were mea- 
 furably baptized for the approaching folemnity, par- 
 ticularly that of my beloved friend R. J. who with 
 dear G. D. had good fervice ; and the meetings, 
 
 F 4
 
 104 Tn r L l F E or 
 
 though Laborious, were eminently owned with the 
 extenfion of divine good, and frit nils were renew - 
 cdly encouraged to faithfulnefs in their refpecdive lots. 
 I fit all the meetings filently, not without a fellow- 
 feeling and travail with thole i 1 in turning the 
 battle to the gate -, but my fpirit was lb clothed 
 with the garment of mourning, and the fenfe of my 
 own infufikiency, that I was ready to lay, with the 
 Prophet, " I will fneak no more in Thy Name." Yet 
 to be preferred in a ftate of patient exertife, and in 
 rcfignation to what might be the allotted portion of 
 fulicring in this day of trial, was the fervent dc- 
 fire of my mind. In tliis frame, I have often known 
 the moft fenfible incomes of holy help, and been 
 more enabled from thence to bring up ftones of me- 
 morial) than when the travail of my foul has been 
 more fhallow, and the ftreams of the miniftry have 
 lain nearer the furfacc of the people's fpirits ; and 
 O ! that, in all feafons of proving, I may never 
 fhrink from under that mournful covering, till the 
 fenfe of what I am, and a of living faith 
 i.i the immediate teachings of divine wifdom, arc not 
 only railed, but prevail in my heart ; that lb, the 
 creature, its wifdom and activity, may die daily, 
 under that Power which cruelties all that is of the 
 flefl», and fanctifics throughout. After the quarter- 
 ly meeting was o\er, we were moft eafy to lit with 
 the friends of that particular meeting; where I felt 
 an p for fome religious communication j and 
 it w is a dofe, hut favoured time-, nevci thelefs a degree 
 
 f fadnei d with me. Aft< r this meet; 
 
 was over, and partaking of a cup oi heavt on-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 105 
 
 folation in the family of a relation, we went down 
 to Anner Mills that night, and next day fet off for 
 Dublin, in order to attend the half year's meeting, 
 held in the eleventh month. It was rather a low 
 time, but holy help was near (according to ancient 
 declaration) to the Poor in Spirit, the exercifed 
 wreftling {eed, of which, through preferring good- 
 nefs, there is a remnant in this land ; with whole 
 tribulated path I have often been dipped into near 
 fympathy, and was renewedly fo at this time : never- 
 thelefs, we had unitedly to believe, that if fome 
 of thefe perlifted in unfaithfulnefs to the manifefta- 
 tions of duty, concerning their religious fervices, 
 they were in danger of occasioning to themfelves 
 fuch a wildernefs travel, as might prove very diffi- 
 cult for them to be delivered from. Thefe were 
 fervently and honeftly laboured with, " i:o offer to 
 the Lord the facrifice of thankfgiving, and to pay all 
 their vows ;" that fo, a generation might be raifed up 
 more zealous for the honour and promulgation of 
 the great Name, than many of later times have been, 
 My mind was greatly depreffed in this city, and I 
 found it conduce to my fafety, to weigh well what I 
 apprehended to be the motions of truth. The meet- 
 ings were large, and my beloved companions being 
 not only better qualified for fcrvice therein, but 
 coming from fo diftant a part of the world as Pen- 
 fylvania in America, and there being little or no 
 profpeel: of their ever having another opportunity, of 
 fo fully relieving their minds to friends in this land, 
 I fought for obfeurity : which is always moft defira- 
 
 F 5
 
 106 The LI F £ *i 
 
 ble to my own mind, knowing that fafety attends it ; 
 and that it requires deep baptiiiv.s, r.nd a cloie dwel- 
 :ig with ihe g'ft, rightly to miniiter life, and vifit 
 the iced in large mixed congregations. Without an 
 extraordinary degree of thefe, it fcldom happen-; 
 that the appearances of thofe who arc young in ex- 
 perience, afford Satisfaction to the true church el 
 Chrift, or that they reap the reward of folid inftruc- 
 e peace in their own minds; and often feeling 
 rhat I am one of thefe, the prayer of my fpirit has 
 ~n, that I may be kept under the humbling fenfe 
 ihereof, and be preferved from burdening the liv- 
 ing by being too fhallow in ray fpirit, or fpreading 
 too much into fruitlefs branches ; that fo, the great 
 and excellent caufe of truth may never be disho- 
 noured by or through me. Infinite wifdom is, ne- 
 verthelcfs, to direct and go before us, in the line 
 of His own appointment : and under an apprchenii- 
 on of the puttings forth of the heavenly Shepherd, 
 I ventured to ftep forward in two large meetings ; 
 and through his fuftaining goodnefs, I was enabled 
 to relieve my own mind in a good degree; for 
 which with many gracious affiftances, from time to 
 time difpenfed, may my foul bow in humble grati- 
 tude and awful fe.ir, through the continued ftages 
 of my tried pilgrimage. My dear friends R. J. and 
 G. I), bad great and good fervicc in the courfe of 
 thefe meetings; and R. J. feeling an engagement to 
 e a meeting with the women friends, (none be- 
 ing held for discipline for them at that fcafon of the 
 year) pftcr laying it before friends, it was cheerfully 
 complied with, and a folid profitable meeting it proved.
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 107 
 
 R. J. and myfelf, feeling fomething more than a free- 
 dom to fit with a committee of men friends, appoint- 
 ed by the national meeting to confider the ftate of 
 fociety, and complying with it, we were enabled to 
 feel with friends thereon, and to lay down our res- 
 pective burdens. The evening preceding our leav- 
 ing the city, and after the meetings were over, many 
 friends being collected at our lodgings, we had a 
 refreihing, inftructive, opportunity of retirement ; 
 wherein counfel and encouragement were minifter- 
 ed, and friends parted under a living fenie of the ex- 
 tension of divine favour to His church and family. 
 Next day we w r ent to Baltiboys, a very poor fmall 
 meeting ; after which we proceeded about five miles 
 further, intending next morning to fet off for 
 Mountmeilick •, but when all was ready for our de- 
 parture, a hefitation fprang, and ipread, reflecting 
 the propriety of cur puriuing the intended plan ; 
 and the more it was looked at, the more clearly it 
 ■appeared beffc to fit with the few friends feledt, there 
 having been many not of our profeffion at meeting 
 the day before. One of our guides, therefore, 
 kindly undertook to collect the members of that 
 meeting together •, which was done, and we had 
 no caufe to repent our ftay, but were rather encour- 
 aged to truft in future to the turnings of the fpiri- 
 tual guide, who requires that we fhould be follow- 
 ers, and not leaders, if we purfue the path of true 
 peace. Inftead of going to Mountmeilick from Bal- 
 tiboys, we went to Ballitore that night, and next 
 day to Athy meeting ; then to Mountmeilick, 
 Kcntrath, Knockbaiiymaher, Ballynakill, and to
 
 *c8 LIFE. 
 
 Carlow to the q ng for Pro- 
 
 -rk.ibly low time, 
 and the rinds of many were b . into a 
 
 the coo! ncv, that pre 
 
 ngft the : rs of truth in t! , and 
 
 b our l< t. Intending from 
 hence for ' >rd, and the counties c ford 
 
 w, vs-e fir ft paid a rifit to the little n 
 ing at C . it was fmal!, but divine good- 
 
 .--.-.. M . . . 
 
 thered from fome barretings, doubt - 
 
 ; and :. the apoftle 
 
 I fetl id me hi an hum- 
 
 ,nce and calm ; be patient, eftal 
 
 your hi h ni S n - 
 
 retur I to ded 
 
 their week day meeting bich we went to 
 
 « hich 
 I i ented fi i ittending by a in my head 
 
 : :h ; but : o pro. ithmycom- 
 
 . cms to I . 
 
 me, after they had 
 ier to attend the 
 .unhand 
 i can., 
 c to me, I a trul;- 
 
 ., and myftre: 
 ing to be in. I l 
 
 to go n 
 ford, to J IV 
 
 whufc c< , throi 
 
 .
 
 SARAH G R U 3 B. 109 
 
 to my often doubting mind. When through the 
 defcending of heavenly virtue, my fpirit has been ce- 
 mented with theirs, and in the unity and covenant 
 of life, an harmonious exercife has prevailed in me, 
 either in public or in fecret, I have had renewedly 
 to admire the gracious condefcenfion of our holy- 
 Head and High Prieft, in anointing, in any degree, 
 for a work fo great and awful, and leading into this 
 excellent fellowship. At "Waterford we ftaid their 
 week day meeting on third day, which was a favour- 
 ed time •, and after having likewife divers comforta- 
 ble religious opportunities with friends of that place, 
 (there being a quickened remnant growing in the 
 fpiritual life) we took leave of them under a preci- 
 ous fenfe of divine fuperintending care, and went to 
 Foreft, Cooladine, Randal's Mills, Ballinciay, Balli- 
 cane and Wicklow ; and found an honeft -hearted fet 
 of friends, who are preferved in a good degree of 
 confiftency with the principles we profefs : yet there 
 are others who widely differ in this refpect. Our 
 kind friend J. W. having met us at Baliicane, we 
 went in company with him to Dublin on the leventh, 
 dav of the week, and next dav attended their meet- 
 ings in Meath-ftreet and Sycamore-alley j at both 
 which my companions were filent. My mind was 
 deeply exercifed in them, and as I perceived fome 
 little opening for public labour, I gave up thereto 
 under many difcouraging imprefiions ; in part the 
 effects of a reafoning difpofition, and unprofi- 
 tably ruminating on the repeated labours of more 
 qualified inftruments, and the unfuccefsfulnefs of 
 many of them \ and in part, I truft, of 2
 
 no The LIFE of 
 
 I and neceflary jealoufy over myfclf, loft I 
 fhould be the means of conveying a lifelcfs multi- 
 
 ity of words, or be found feeding the people, 
 when the divine word might proclaim a fa ft. 1'ut 
 it awfully fprang in my mind, that if ever fo fmall 
 a warning was given me to deliver, and I concc 
 it, the blood of thofe. for whom it was intended 
 I 'it, according to the declaration of the Moft 
 High to the Prophet, be required at my hands. As 
 this vifit to the nation was clofing, a fecret prayer 
 was begotten in me, that we might be enabled, as 
 faithfully and willingly to finifh the work, as, 
 through humbling operations, we were refigned to 
 begin it ; which, to the praife of His grace who puts 
 forth and goes before His own fheep, we were 
 ftrengthened to do, and had afrefh to difcover that 
 His ways are not as our ways, nor His thoughts as 
 our thoughts. When we apprehended ourfelves 
 at liberty to fail from that city, and had agreed 
 with a captain bound for Whitehaven for our paf- 
 fage there, the wind proved contrary, and we found 
 it fafe to look around us, that if any little fervice 
 was omitted, it might then be performed. This we 
 were ready to think was not much the cafe, having 
 attended their men's and women's meetings on third 
 duv, where, through divine ability gracioufly afford- 
 ed, we had a clofe, fearching, and humbling feafon : 
 but now ftanding in the resignation, not being de- 
 tained of ourfelves, divers opportunities for public 
 and private labour unexpectedly Opened, generally 
 
 ing to invite the ignorant, and to encourage 
 the iinctrc and drooping minds to a frith in the
 
 SARAH G R U B B. in 
 
 fuificiency of the gift of God in tbemfelvcs, for the 
 falsification of the foul, and the neceflary fupply 
 of every fpiritual enjoyment, and qualification ac- 
 ceptably to worihip ; which muffc now, as formerly, 
 be fought for, in the beauty of holinefs, and in ncw- 
 nefs of life. The wind proving contrary, we ftaid 
 over another firft day, when my companions G. D 
 and R. J. were enabled to bring up living ftcnes of 
 memorial, to the fealing I truft of their teftimony 
 on the fpirits of many , and my cup of affectionate 
 fellowfhip feemed to overflow in fecret. The next 
 day a gale rofe in our favour, which we thankfully 
 accepted, and were gently wafted over by it in twen- 
 ty five hours, having had as pleafant a voyage as we 
 could wifh for, fkknefs excepted ^ and for the holy 
 directing and protecting power of immortal good- 
 nefs, we were gratefully humbled. We ftaid one 
 night at Whitehaven after our landing, and next 
 day attended their v/eek-day meeting, which was a 
 low time. Soon after it clofed, we fet off for Grey- 
 fouthen, where R. J. and I ftaid that night. Our 
 much loved friend and companion G. D. and his 
 wife (who had been with us ever fince we were at 
 Cooladine) finding it conduce moft to their peace 
 to ftay the quarterly meeting for Cumberland, to be 
 held the week after •, and we having a profpwft of 
 attending the quarterly meeting for the county of 
 York, to be held at Leeds ; we found the time for 
 cur feparation was come ; and had to commemorate 
 the kindnefs of infinite wifdom, in fo cafting us to- 
 gether, and cementing us, according to our mea-
 
 ii2 The LIFE of 
 
 Here we took an afl 
 rectionate farewell of each 
 We {"topped a: C -.touth in our way to 
 
 - 
 our : J. and B. D. and their children •, and be- 
 
 fore we left them, the fpring of heavenly confola- 
 tion arofe, and refrefhed both vilito- 
 
 h grateful 1. we fet off, and reached 
 
 a plea- 
 be mo: . we were favoured in 
 good time to get to K r compani- 
 tnopp- IR. W.'s chil- 
 . iince fhe wa= 
 honour. as a h jred 
 
 d R. J. raffed and 
 
 Bentham meet e was I before, 
 
 and a drcft towards them, we ? 
 
 ;rth of the twelfth nv 
 » had a good mc 
 
 the few • re, and fome others - 
 
 e in. N -ngwewent to \ f m meet- 
 
 ing, which was an ex*:- but ended in 
 
 beloved compa- 
 nion was publi- : an evening 
 meeting appointed :. '-, we i re in 
 . -nd it - ion. 
 Fro- • the twenty fixth, wc 
 
 t to Leeds, t with i 
 
 and nv n. The qnar- 
 
 r 111 the 
 ■
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 113 
 
 ral fittings thereof, I had undoubtedly to believe 
 that mv companion was in " - rht place ; a- 
 was thankful, under the consideration that we w- 
 there in better wifdcm than our own, and wsre 
 found worthy to bear a fhare in the weight of fufFer- 
 ings, which generally attend thefe large sficmblies. 
 Rebecca Jones being difpofed to fpend a little time 
 in reft with our mutual friend C. H. we parted 
 after our quarterly meeting, and I came homewards, 
 with a deilre rightly to feel my way, whether to con- 
 tinue a while longer with this my endeared rriend, 
 in her religious fervke, or to give up and furren- 
 der my certificate : for though I had a pr: 
 when I left home, of viiiting the v. ;uern part of this 
 nation, to which my certificate was aifo addrefTcJ, 
 vet if the commiiSon fhouid ciofe fooner than I look- 
 
 J 
 
 ed for, mv compliance- therewith appears as necen;.- 
 ry, as it would be if it inould extend further ; fee- 
 ing that the virtue of all our religious movements 
 connits in the divine putting forth, and the continu- 
 ation of holv anointing ; which we have abundant 
 caufe to acknowledge, is no: at cur con:
 
 IM The LIFE of 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Account of her Vifit to feme of the tueflern Ccunliis 
 
 of 
 
 Knvlav.d. 
 
 A FEW months after her return from Ireland, 
 fhe felt a renewed engagement to accompany 
 her friend R. Jones, on a vifit to fome parts of the 
 weftern counties in England. Of the principal parts 
 of this vifit, fhe has left the following journal. 
 
 After my return from Ireland, my beloved com- 
 panion R. J. being detained in Yorkihire, on divers 
 accounts, for three months, I was thereby ftt at 
 liberty to adjuft fome family concerns at home, 
 and pay fome vifits to neighbouring meetings as 
 truth appeared to open the way ; efpecially to Whit- 
 by, Scarborough, Bridlington, Hornfea, and Hull ; 
 in the courfe of which my mind was, in the needful 
 time, mercifully fupported with renewed iupplies of 
 holy help, though, in general, in a low and dripped 
 ftate ; fearing left, in the cxcrcifc of the gift, a zed 
 which is not according to true knowledge, nor origi- 
 nating in that baptifm of fpirit wherein the crea- 
 ture is humbled, ihould fo mix with the divine 
 openings, as to carry away the feet of the mind 
 from that fafe (landing in the deeps, which is juftly 
 compared to the bottom of Jordan. Here, it is nc-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 115 
 
 ccflary for true gofpel miniftcrs, fteadihy to abide, 
 with the weight of the fervice they are engaged 
 in upon their moulders, till the fpirits of the aflem- 
 bled are, in lbme degree, attracted to the promifed 
 land, the new heaven and the new earth, wherein 
 dwelleth the righteoufneis of faith, and where fpiri- 
 tual worfhip is rightly performed, in the beauty of 
 holinefs and newnefs of life. To be inflrumental 
 in the divine hand of thus, in any meafure, convert- 
 ing the fpirits of thofe to whom we may be led to 
 miniiler, requires an unction altogether unmixed j 
 but when revolt, backfliding, and a fuperficial fpirit, 
 have been neceffarily unveiled, I have, fometimes, 
 diftreffingly found, that fome of my armour was 
 carnal *, and O ! how hath all that was within me 
 been humbled at the difcovery, that the Lord's 
 righteous controverfy with the works of darknels, 
 had not been righteoufly upheld, nor the door of 
 elcape therefrom wifely opened. An encreafe of 
 experience convinces me, that preaching is a myfte- 
 ry which every one exercifed therein, has need to be 
 often induftrioufly, and impartially learning, as far 
 as concerns themfelves ; and where this is the cafe, 
 I am abundantly perfuaded, that our dependance 
 ir.uft be drawn from the fentiments of thofe friends 
 to whofe judgment we are moft attached, in order 
 rightly to diflinguifh betwixt the unity of the one 
 1 infallible fpirit, and their partiality to us, and to be 
 weighed in the juft balance of the fanctuary, where 
 we are fometimes found defective, even when akl 
 around us fpeak peace.
 
 \\6 The LIFE of 
 
 " My dear hufband accompanied me in this little 
 round : his Sympathizing mind, and care for my 
 preservation every way, was truly Strengthening, and 
 afforded frequent occafions of humble thankfulncls 
 to the Author of all good, who had fo bountifully 
 provided for me, both in fpiritual and temporal 
 things. After our return home we gave up house- 
 keeping, not with a concluiion that we fhould re- 
 move from England, but under an apprehenfion that 
 it was right to take that ftcp, as the way open- 
 ed for my being again united in fervice with my be- 
 loved companion R. J. and my hufband had no 
 proSpect of being fettled during my abfence. We 
 therefore removed our furniture, and ourfelves 
 to York, the quarterly meeting there being at hand; 
 after which, the I ft of 4th month, 1786, I went 
 to Ackworth to meet my companion, who had 
 gone there the day before. We ftaid there on firft 
 day, and found fome clofe and neceffhry labour, not 
 only in public, but in private opportunities, amongft 
 the mafters, miftrcifes, and fervants, federally •, for 
 the Enemy of all good hath proved himfeif bufy, in 
 endeavouring to fow his tares amongft the good feed 
 in that inftitution and family ; and unlefs thofe on 
 whom the weight and care of it molt devolves, keep 
 in view the neccflity of attending more to the holy 
 Oracle in their movements, than to the ftrength of 
 their own wifdom and understanding, it will lofe 
 the luftre that truth would put upon it, and become 
 the nurfery of a worldly fpirit, though difguifed 
 • ranee of religious form. 'I is in 
 
 that family 1 fuffcring, v. refiling feed, an exerciftd
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 117 
 
 remnant, which though fmail, is a means, under the 
 divine blefling, of keeping open the fpring of life ; 
 and if fuch keep their places, there is reafon to hope 
 that more will be added to their number, and, 
 through the influence of their example, the truth, 
 in its own fimplicity, gain ground, inftead of the dif- 
 guifed fpirit of error. A falutation of love flow- 
 ed to fuch, under a fenfe whereof we left them, 
 fave our worthy friend W. S. who went with us to 
 Wakefield, where divers are under convincement, 
 and fome of them appear to be rightly fo. Here 
 we had an open, inllruclive opportunity j and from 
 thence went to Bradford, and next day proceeded to 
 Manchefter, where we attended their week day 
 meeting ; in which my companion was greatly fa- 
 voured to dip into the ftate of the feed, and profita- 
 bly to vifit it, and filence was I believe rightly my 
 lot. From Manchester we went to Stockport, Macclef- 
 field, Morley, and fo to Warrington, to the month- 
 ly meeting there ; where again I thought my compa- 
 nion had eminent fervice, and clofe Searching la- 
 bour, wherewith I felt a fpiritual travail, and Sym- 
 pathetic mourning over the great carnality, and de- 
 parture from the way of peace, which greatly pre- 
 vail in that, and the neighbouring places. Though 
 there is a peculiar people, and a royal priefthood, 
 in that monthly meeting, yet as the number in a 
 very different fpirit, is great, the pure life is pre- 
 vented from circulating, and purifying the temple. 
 So that the profpedl, amongft the youth efpecially, is 
 exceedingly difcouraging j diflipation, or the gilded 
 corruptions of human nature, having poiTeffion,
 
 n3 The L I V E ov 
 
 and, like the ftxong man armed, keeping the ho life 
 and all the jof in peace : and 'till a ftrong- 
 
 er than he, by the fpfcrit of judgment and of burn- 
 ing, diflodges him of his hold, cafts him out, and 
 fpoils all his goods, there is but little room to expec"l 
 fuch to den ;e unto i ther . by the livelinefs of 
 
 their fpirits, the circumlpe&ion of their conduct, and 
 a rightly feafoned converfation, that they are ac- 
 quainted with the efficacious virtue of true religion. 
 From Warrington, my huiband returned to York- 
 ihire, in company with William Rotch of Nantuc- 
 ket, and we back into Chefhire. It was rather a 
 gloomy parting to me, being very unwell with a 
 rheumatic complaint in my head, and more depref- 
 fed in mind than 1 was free to exprefs to anv ; 
 which is often the cafe with me, when under a fenle 
 of the awfulnefs of the work I am embarked in, of 
 the little effeel it has on the minds of many, and of 
 my own exceeding greal weaknefs, and apparent un- 
 fitnefs for engaging with facred things; fo that my 
 way oft feems to lie by the valley and ihadow of 
 death ; where I feel myfelf fubjec~t to fearful appre- 
 henfions, and a deep and gjoomy excrcife. Ncver- 
 thelefs, to the praife of the divii ce, my foul 
 
 can thankfully and humbly acknowledge that, 
 through what appeared the i'mallcft grain of faith, 
 prei'ervation hath been experienced, and ftrength to 
 afcend, in the Lord's time, that holy mountain 
 where nothing can hurt or deftroy ; becaul'e the 
 creature, audits . ■■ ■ rat evils arc fubjci'tcd, and 
 acfei's to the feaft of fat things, and of w • i re- 
 
 fined, is gracioufly afforded, to the renewed fupport 
 
 \
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 119 
 
 of the drooping mind, which was ready, but a little 
 before, to caft away its confidence, and fay, " the 
 Lord hath forgotten me." Thus, as by a tender 
 father, are we dealt with, under thofe proving dif- 
 penfations, which are effentially neceffary for car- 
 rying forward the work of faniftification in the foul, 
 and a preparation to receive the infcription of, 
 U Holinefs unto the Lord." When I coniider the 
 necefiity hereof, a fear, on the other hand, often 
 arifes left it fhould be partially or fuperficially effect- 
 ed ; and a fervent craving of fpirit, that the refin- 
 ing operations of the Holy Ghoft and Fire, may fo 
 perforin their affigned office, as that every fpecious 
 appearance of felf-love may be confumed, and the 
 fpring of aclion, in the performance of both religi- 
 ous and moral duties, rendered pure. Thus vari- 
 oully, is the attention of the travailing foul turned j 
 and if the pure difcoveries of truth are but the 
 object fingly fought for, Fie who created light out of 
 darknefs, and hath fown it for the righteous, doth, 
 in times of our greateft extremity reveal himfelf to 
 be the Lord Almighty. From Warrington we went 
 to Sutton, Franley, Newton, Chefter, Nantwich, 
 and Middlewich, when our viiit to Cheshire feemed 
 ended, where, as in other places, we had to view, 
 and mourn over, the defolation which hath prevail- 
 ed amcngft the profefibrs of truth ; fo that the Hea- 
 then may query, " Where is their God ?" 
 
 Our next fla^e was to Leek, and fo to Cole- 
 brook Dale ; we had meetings both at the New and 
 Old Dale, which were favoured, ftrengthening fea- 
 fons 5 by ability being gracioufly afforded and ac-
 
 120 The LIFE of 
 
 ceptcd, to fink down deep into differing with the 
 
 precious f( ; and a little exercifed remnant were 
 md wreftling in fpirit for the divine blefling, who 
 re in the renewings of life, and iniuiKi \e 
 
 d towards them. Divers of tl g- 
 
 er fort amongft them, nave been vifited by affile* 
 tion i the day of the Lord hath come upon all that 
 was lifted up, and the projects, like the Chips of 
 Tarfhifh, which were intended to go to fetch gold, 
 have been broken early in their fetting out, as at 
 F/.iongeber, and all their pleafant 1 fpoilecl ; 
 
 which have evidently been pei I in mercy, that 
 
 their affections might b ened from things tran- 
 
 fient and perifhing; and, inftead thereof, durable 
 riches and i ! their inheritance. 
 
 Bur as this work is great and glorious, and cannot 
 be erTec r ic<J, fave by the humbling proceffes of the 
 work of fanctifi in the foul, a deep eng go- 
 
 ment dwelt upon my mind, that thofe in whom this 
 work is begun, may by pre from flinching 
 
 under it, or taking themfelvi , or one another, as 
 out of the furnace, before it effecl: the g lid for 
 
 which it was prepared ; and that, being redeemed 
 from the fuperlicies of reiigi cperience, to an 
 
 entire dependancc on the holy purifying >f 
 
 immortal life, they niiy approve themleives the 
 humble followers of Chrift; ami, through the effi- 
 cacy of his own fpirit, be qualified to ite the 
 caufe of truth ami righteoufhefs. From heme we 
 went to Shrewfbury, an il two meetings there 
 on firft day, whi( h wen favoured opportunities ■, t! e 
 latter was public, snd a great many of the to v.,
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 121 
 
 people attended. There are fome vifited young 
 people in this place, and a profpect of a revival 
 comfortably affected our minds. It was here to be 
 determined whether we mould turn towards Wor- 
 cefterfhire, Herefordfhire, &c. or into Wales, which 
 was occalion of deep enquiry to find out the good 
 and acceptable way ; and as our minds were fingle 
 herein, we were favoured to unite in the conclufion, 
 that it was better now to turn into Wales, a ftep 
 we had no reafon to repent on any account, finding 
 a peaceful ferenity attending our minds through the 
 courfe of a folitary travel therein ; and fuch a fupply 
 of ftrength to dip into, and vifit the feed in thofe 
 parts, as was caufe of humble thankfulnefs to the 
 Author of every good and fpiritual gift. His eye 
 perceives the moil obfcure parts of his own creation, 
 and gracioufly compaffionates His humble fuppliant 
 children, who, under a fenfe of their own wants, 
 are carting all their care upon him, and looking 
 fingly to his bountiful hand for food convenient for 
 them, both fpiritual and temporal, in preference to 
 the luxurious enjoyment of tranfitory things ; deflr- 
 ing that blefling which makes truly rich, and where- 
 unto no deadly forrow is added. We were com- 
 forted in finding a number of this fort in Wales, 
 particularly at Tuthynigarrig and Llanidloes ; 
 though, at the former, amongft divers of their mem- 
 bers, a worldly fpirit and lukewarmnefs about the beit 
 things prevail. We were alfo at Efkergoch, a very 
 poor defolate place every way •, but fome folid people 
 not profeffing with us, attending the meeting, were 
 
 G
 
 i22 The LIFE 
 
 O F 
 
 u help to it ; and my beloved companion was drawn 
 in the language of confolation to vifit fomc of theie, 
 who were as fheep wandering upou the mountai 
 and panting after a (hepherd. It was from this 
 place we went to Llanidloes, where we had a hn-ge 
 public meeting, and from tin nee to Rayadar, a place 
 where there are no friends, but where we had a fa- 
 tisfactory meeting ainongft the town's people, in one 
 of the rooms of the inn; and after it went to Pales, 
 •and were at meeting there next day, which was a la- 
 borious, fearching opportunity, many diforderly 
 walkers being there. We then ftept out of Y> 
 and vifited the few friends at Almilly anil Leo- 
 minfter, in Herefordfhire. The firft is very fmall, 
 having fcarce any weight to fupport a meeting ; but 
 many folid neighbours attending, it was a precious 
 lively opportunity, and my fpirit was humbled, and 
 awfully reverenced the condefcending goo of 
 
 our Almighty Helper, whole loving kin,: :cr 
 
 than life, and the lifting up of the light of his coun- 
 tcnance, than great riches. The meeting at Lco- 
 minitcr was low and trying. We went from hence 
 to Troy near Monmouth in South Y\ re we 
 
 lodged one night, and next morning fet oil" for Pon- 
 tipool to the quarterly meeting, which was to be 
 held there the firft day followin . Our dear and 
 much valued friends T. Corbyn, II. Will: ins and 
 T. II. overtook us upon the road; we were 
 mutually glad to fee each Other, and alii) to feel 
 ch others fpirits in the meeting', w led toge- 
 
 ther at Pontipool and Cardiff, whither we went
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 123 
 
 (after the quarterly meeting was ended) to attend 
 the Welch yearly meeting there. My mind, 0.1 
 drawing near to that place, was awfully affected, in 
 a renewed fenfe of the important ftation of a gofpel 
 minifter, which, the more my understanding is 
 opened, the more I perceive it to call for a watchful 
 care to keep in the ftation, and to preferve it un- 
 blameable, by endeavouring to dwell low enough 
 with the gift, fo as rightly to diftinguifh between 
 a filent union with the feed in meetings, (where- 
 in we fometimes fympathize with the concerns of 
 others), and our own public fervice for the caufe. 
 And I was thankful in feeling my fpirit humbly con- 
 trited, under a fenfe of my own weaknefs, and the 
 commemoration of infinite kindnefs in times paft ; 
 and I fecretly fupplicated that the approaching fo- 
 lemnity might be gracioufly owned with the virtue of 
 divine life, immediately imparted from the great 
 Minifter of minifters ; whereby I felt, in a good de- 
 gree, Strengthened for my own meafure of exercife, 
 which proved altogether in filence. But this was not 
 the cafe with fome others j with a few of whom a 
 fenfe of near unity attended my fpirit, both in a fe- 
 cret travail of fpirit, and in the exercife of their 
 gifts ; never that I remember, being fo fenfible of 
 the purity of that life which, and which only, quick- 
 ens fervices in the church, and qualifies the centred 
 mind, to judge righteoufly concerning public of- 
 ferings in meetings. Whatever has a tendency to 
 clofe up the fpring of this life, by cafting rubbifh 
 thereinto, inftead of induftrioufly removing it, fuch 
 as the fhallow, fuperfkial judgment <jf the natural 
 
 G2
 
 124 The LIFE 01 
 
 min J, its old experiences and wifdom, which are held 
 out of the life, can never availingly invite the wrefHing 
 foul, that is panting after the pure milk of the di- 
 vine word, to the fountain of fpiritual conlolation, or 
 refrefh the chriftian pilgrim in his journey heaven- 
 wards. O the purity of that yr . which is hid with 
 Chrift in God ! It cannot uc fupported but by the 
 flefh and blood, the virtue or divine nature of the 
 Son •, nor can it unite with that which is not conge- 
 nial to itfelf. There is a miniftry which, like the 
 whirlwind, the earthquake, and the fire, makes ap- 
 parent effects upon nature, makes it, throws it into 
 confulion, and kindles it with urrtemperetl zeal ; but 
 proves very deficient in fettling it upon the fure foun- 
 dation ; or introducing it into that reft which is pre- 
 pared for the people of God, who ceafe from all 
 their own works \ or teaching it to diftinguiih 
 between the voice of the Shepherd, and the voice 
 of the ftrangcr. Hence, many, otherwife well dif- 
 poled minds, have got bewiluered, their attention 
 diverted from the one great Object, and fixed upon 
 lacrifices of their own ; which, in time, are fo de- 
 pended upon for rightcoufnefs, that the hunger 
 which was once begotten decreafes, and the ftate of 
 the church of Laodicca becomes theirs ; growing 
 rich and full, increafing with goods and in need 
 of nothing ; when alas ! though fpecious their ap- 
 pearance, their fituatiou is moft wretched, and, in 
 the light of truth, they are difcovered to (land in 
 need of every thing. Under thefe confiderations, 
 aay mind, is often inftruttcd in the neceffity of con-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 125 
 
 fiding only in the Spring of life itfelf, and approv- 
 ing nothing as religious, but what comes from it, 
 or is under its preparing, fanctifying power : and 
 for this end, it is neceffary to be very watchful over 
 the activity of felf, that the fpirits may be tried, 
 and my faith proved, whether it is grounded and 
 eftablUhed upon the right foundation, or is of that 
 fort that wavers and floats upon any imaginary pre- 
 fentation, whereby I may be rendered of thofe who 
 are not to expect any thing at the hand of God, 
 James, i. 6, 7. There are fo many ways for the 
 mind, when it is off its guard, to be enfnared either 
 into fenfible darknefs, or a righteoufnefs of its 
 own, which is worft of all, that, when cloathed 
 with a fenfe of my infirmity and weaknefs, I mourn 
 in fpirit ; and am thankful when, in a grain of una- 
 dulterated faith, I can fay, " if thou wilt, thou canft 
 " make me clean," and breathe for the bleffing of 
 prefervation. From a fear of being inftrumental in 
 fettling down young people efpecially, in the form 
 of godlinefs without the power ; and urging them to 
 an appearance which might create felf-complacence, 
 and reconcile them to an apprehenfion, that they 
 are further advanced in the work of religion than rs 
 really the cafe ; I have often forborne to drop fuch 
 advice upon the fubject of drefs, amongft thofe who 
 were inconfiftent in their appearance, as, fome- 
 times, I felt the teftimony of truth to dictate ; a 
 departure from true fimplicity herein being general- 
 ly obvious. At large meetings particularly, where 
 friends from diftant parts are collected, there is a 
 
 G 3
 
 126 T Hi L I f L o i 
 
 connderaLle appearance of inconfiftency in cloth- 
 ing ar Leanour, which, with many other thin; 
 
 te a love of the world, and a fellowihip with 
 its fptrit •, but though a regulation herein is only 
 a fmall part of the fruit of the good Tree, yet it is as 
 afluredly a p:.:t, as the more ftriking conftituents of 
 a chriftian. " Whatfoevar is not of faith is fin," is 
 a comprehenfive truth, which neither approves an 
 inconfifteiit, nor a plaufible appearance and conduct, 
 merelv as fuch ; but wholly condemn, every part of 
 cur lives which is not governed by the redeeming 
 Spirit of truth, wherein our faith ihould {land : lb 
 that, to attain this ftate, to live under the righteous 
 controul C ae monition, is I apprehend to be a 
 
 follower of Chrift, under whofe fpiritual baptifm the 
 precious is feparated from the vile, and by whofe 
 :, the chalf, to which the vanities of this life may 
 be compared, will flee, and leave the wheat, for di- 
 vine protection, in the heavenly garner. Feeling 
 my mind drawn to a little folid conversation with a 
 young woman, to whom I had fell mar unity, and 
 whom I believed to be under the preparing hand for 
 ferrice, but diffident in fpirit, and a fuitable oppor- 
 tunity offering, I accepted it; wherein 1 dropped 
 a little matter by way of encouragement to her, 
 in her filcnt fteppings and hidden I ; takil 
 
 occafion to oblervc, that as lhc had hitherto b< B 
 preferved, in a good meafure, independant of human 
 confolations, fo I wiihed her itinue, be 
 
 that the arm of omnip. I was moft eminently re- 
 
 in this ftate Of Gn| ' n fs, under furh 
 
 fpii . ,s and i " atially no
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 127 
 
 ceffary for fanctification. It was a time of mutual 
 comfort, and I was thankful that I gave up to it. 
 
 At Cardiff we met again our beloved brother 
 G. D. which both he and we rejoiced at. He was 
 much favoured in feveral of the meetings, efpecially 
 the public ones, which were large •, but my dear 
 companion had not much opennefs for public labour, 
 till the laft opportunity with friends felect -, when 
 fhe was ftrengthened to vilit the members of our Td- 
 ciety in a memorable manner ; which wkh fome, 
 will I truft, be as a nail fattened in a fure place. In 
 our way from Cardiff to Briitol, to which we were 
 bound, we flopped at Newport to breakfaft, where 
 my companion and G. D. felt an inclination to have 
 a public meeting, which was readily complied with, 
 and held in a room in the inn ; many came to it> 
 and it was a favoured opportunity. We then pro- 
 ceeded on our journey, croffed what is called the 
 newpaffage, and reached Briftol late that night. We 
 met with a hofpitable reception from Lydia Hawks- 
 worth, with whom we fojourned, and next day I 
 went with my companion and Lydia to fee our be- 
 loved, honoured friend, C. Phillips, then at J. Hip- 
 fley's at Congerfbury. She was in a languid ftate of 
 health, which in fome degree occafioned a depreffion 
 of fpirits, but her beft life was ftrong, though hid 
 from herfelf with Chrift in God. She hath been a 
 faithful, laborious fervant in the church, efpecially 
 under the exercife of her gift, which was eminent 
 for its purity, its copioufnefs, and clearnefs •, diftin- 
 guiming the good and evil trees by reprefenting 
 
 G 4
 
 128 The LIFE of 
 
 their fruits in their true light. ■ miniilry had 
 
 a tendency, to raife into dominion the pure life, and 
 in fupplioation (he hath been often wonderfully fa- 
 voured with near accefs, and enabled to caft down 
 every crown, and to afcribe worfhip and praife, fal- 
 vation and ftrength, to the Lord God and the 
 Lamb. Since my mind has been gracioufly vifitcd 
 with a fenfe of truth, fuch hath been mv fentiment 
 concerning this great and good woman : but about 
 two years ago, to my humble admiration, in a feafon 
 of great proving of fpirit, it was fo renewed and feal- 
 cd to me, the inward attraction fo flrong, and the evi- 
 dence that fhc was a faithful follower of the Lamb, 
 fo undoubted, (a language fweetly flowing through 
 my mind, " I have chofen her and fhe is mine") 
 that I not only rejoiced, and was ftrengthened, but 
 faw the abundant fuperiority of the unfoldings of 
 truth, to all the prepofTefrion we can receive from 
 the experience of others; my v. ant of an outward 
 acquaintance with her being thus amply fupplied by 
 the gracious condefcenfion of the Head of the 
 church, who wifely and myftcrioufly unites toge- 
 ther the large and fmall members of His body, and, 
 by fuch Connection) makes them more ui'eful to each 
 other than they know or i .m of themfelves conceive* 
 Where this union and fenfe is thus received, I a:u 
 of the belief that nothing but a departure from the 
 rine life, wherein i chriftian fellowship frauds, 
 :i ever alter our inw ird Feelings towards the Lord's 
 Though 1 am often difmayed at the 
 .t of things within and without, and unce the 
 time .diaJjJ to, have been ready to fay in mine
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 129 
 
 hafte, « all men are liars ;" yet it was matter of renew- 
 ed confolation and abafement of mind, that on being 
 in company with our beloved friend, C. Phillips, my 
 feelings reflecting her were revived, with fweetnefs 
 and rejoicing. But thefe were mixed with an inex- 
 preffible fympathy, and fenfe of the bufferings and 
 floods of the dragon, yea, and of his temptations as 
 in the wildernefs \ where, though fhe hungered, 
 yet, with unconquered fortitude, nobly refifted every 
 importunity, to command the ftones to be made 
 bread. Having fuffered with her Lord and Matter, 
 and been preferved through many temptations, my 
 fecret belief was that life will again arife abundant- 
 ly in her, and her garments, even in this ftate of 
 mutability, be warned and made white in the blood 
 of the fuffering, yet victorious Lamb. And oh ! 
 how did all that was within me bow under this per- 
 fuafion, and under a fenfe that the difciples of 
 Jefus have, in proportion to their ftrength and gifts, 
 a meafure of afflictions to fill for their own, and the 
 body's fake, which is His church. Here my re- 
 flections on myfelf were exceedingly awful ; I con- 
 fidered that I was juft entering the field, unfkilled 
 in war, with the armour but newly put on, and ex- 
 ceedingly uncertain whether I fhall not fall a prey to 
 mine enemy. But O Lord ! teach, I pray thee , 
 mine hands to war, and my fingers to fight, even 
 the good fight of faith, in the fuffkiency of thy 
 power, and againft every intrusion of my own •, that 
 thou, in all things, mayft be glorified, and if I periih, 
 it may be at thy footftool ! 
 
 G 5
 
 130 The LIFE of 
 
 The yearly meeting at Briftol came on, and 
 lifted three clays. It afforded many opportunit. 
 for differing, aad deep gloomy cwuuie, to thole 
 who travailed in fpirit for the arilings of life, which, 
 nevertheless, for a lhort fcaibn, in divers of them, 
 fenfibly circulated ; hut it leems as if, for want of 
 vcffels rightly prepared, the current was often turn- 
 ed backward, and retired again into oUcuritv, 
 where a baptized number endeavoured patiently to 
 dwell y amongft whom was my beloved companion, 
 who found but little liberty to relieve her burdened 
 mind. The firft day after the yearly meeting \ 
 were at Claverham meeting, which was a favoured 
 inftruclive oppo , and returned to Briftol to 
 
 their evening meeting ; at the conclufion of which, 
 my companion had to revive the meliage lent to 
 lle/ekiah, and, with evident fire I and clearnt 
 to apply it to lbme there \ young man who v. 
 then in the vigour of life, was foon feized with an 
 epidemic fever, and in a feAv weeks removed fn 
 this ftage of mortality -, and fecial i who took 
 
 the diforder, narrowly efcaped with their lives ; to 
 whom the previous admonition, to fet their hoilfes 
 in order, was like-wife feafonahle. Next clay we 
 went to Sudbury, to the quarterly meeting I 
 Clouceftcr and Wilts. Here we found a great wan: 
 of true zeal, and love to the caufe of truth, where- 
 in living members are united in harmonious Labour^ 
 and cemented together in the covenant of life ; 
 which preferves from a difpofition that would look 
 onlv to felfifh things, and enlarges the heart in an 
 Upright care for the profperity of Others. From
 
 SARAH G R U B B. i 3 » 
 
 Sudbury we took meetings at Bath, Wefbury, La- 
 ▼ington, Devizes, Marlborough, and Uxbridge, in 
 our way to London, being favoured to get fafe there 
 the thirty flrft of fifth month, which afforded us a 
 few days to reft, before the yearly meeting began. 
 This meeting opened, to thole whofe fpiritual facul- 
 ties were alive in the truth, a field of exercifing la- 
 bour ; wherein a fteady, watchful care was neceiTary 
 for all to keep to their own ftations and vocations, 
 with an attentive eye to the great Mafter ; as a bufy 
 indifcreet interference of His fervants, ever inter- 
 rupts the beautiful order and profperity of Hia 
 work. The felect meetings were to me, as they ge- 
 nerally are at our yearly meetings, (though not all 
 alike attended with life) feafons of deep infiruction, 
 which I was made humblinglyfenlibie could not be the 
 cafe, by any capacity of my own to render them fo, 
 but by being admitted (however undeiervedly) for a 
 fhort time, by the Mafter of affemblies, into the 
 heavenly treafury, where the faint's provifion, the 
 armour of righteoulhefs, and the juft balance of the 
 fanctuary, are all to be found ; and where, as we 
 deeply and quietly abide, we are furniihed with ask 
 unerring perception of what, amongft the many 
 offerings in the vifible church, proceeds from the 
 divine repofitory, and what doth not 5 fo that m-.li- 
 viduals thus gathered, though in an obfcure exercile^ 
 may lay with the apoftle, and which I heard revived 
 in one of thefe meetings, " in every thing I am'in- 
 ftructed." And as in the opening of fpiritual 
 things, and being favoured in fome degree w:t?h a 
 fenfe of truth, refpecling the fubjects of deliberation
 
 132 The LIFE of 
 
 ■which come before thefe meetings the natural difpo- 
 fition fometimes prompts us to make public rema: 
 confonant with our feelings ; I have, thus far, found 
 it neccflary to fct a double watch upon this fide, 
 left I ihould ftep forward unbidden to put a hand 
 to the ark, (the real ftate of which Uzza faw as well 
 as I) and fo, like him, unavailingly labour, and intro- 
 duce death upon myfclf; proving unworthy of an 
 admittance into the treafury, and of being entrufted 
 with divine fecrcts, which are net to be revealed 
 but in the divine will, and under the fenfible directi- 
 on of the High Fricit of our profefiion ; that the 
 bread which we minifter, being given us by Him, 
 may alfo be bleffed, and that, however apparently 
 coarfe and infufficient, its efficacy and extenfive ufe- 
 fulnefs may abound to thofe who are fed, and re- 
 dound to His praifc whofe will is our fanclificaton. 
 As an attentive care on this hand is ncceffary, I 
 likewife perceived a danger on the other, when, in 
 the fimplicity and nakednefs of truth, and confe- 
 quently unadorned with any thing goodly in my 
 f.-vn eyes, a right feafon has been difcovcrcd to ex- 
 prefs a few words, and through unprofitable diffi- 
 dence, and undervaluing the fmailnefs of the ap- 
 pearance, I have put by thefe little openings to duty, 
 's was more than once the cafe, during the fit- 
 tings of the felecl meetings this year, and which con- 
 tributed to my own incicafing wcaki.efs. So that, 
 whilft we are defirous to keep our own hearts, and 
 be preftrved from prodigality in imparting our reli- 
 gious feelings, we ought alfo to ftand rtfigned to the 
 fecrct intimations of truth, in order to approve cur-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 133 
 
 felves good ftewards of the manifold grace of God ; 
 advancing from one degree of favour, acceptance, 
 and communion with Him, to another, and thus 
 become eftablifhed before Him as children without 
 rebuke. The meetings for difcipline of women 
 friends became exceedingly weighty to me, as the 
 friend who was clerk laft year declined the office, 
 and my name was mentioned by divers for that fer- 
 vice. I fought to object, under an awful fenfe of 
 the weightinefs of that ftation, efpecially in fo large 
 and newly eftablifhed a meeting, and with the fee- 
 blenefs of my qualifications for it ; but I foon felt all 
 refiftance chained down in me, and a fecret, fervent 
 breathing begotten for that holy affiftance, which I 
 knew to be fuperior to every effort of my own with- 
 out it : for though a degree of exertion is necefTary, 
 and the natural faculties of mind called upon to fer- 
 vice, yet I faw they are no longer inftrumental in 
 helping forward the caufe of truth and righteoufnefs, 
 than whilft they are actuated by divine love and life, 
 and abide in the faith, without the government of 
 which, they are no better than founding brafs, and a 
 tinkling cymbal. Under this humbling perfuafion, 
 I took my feat, having E. T. and S. D. to affift ; 
 and the bufinefs of the meeting opened, which 
 proved, in the feveral fucceeding fittings, a profita- 
 ble fervice, introducing women friends, more gene- 
 rally than heretofore, into an exercife on their own, 
 their families, and the church's account ; for want 
 of which, great declenfion from the virtue of true 
 religion, and the fimplicity it leads into, has long la- 
 mentably fpread amongft us as a people. And fince,
 
 134 The LIFE of 
 
 in the turnings and overturnings of the great Con- 
 troller of events, a women's yearly meeting is efta- 
 blifhed, and for thcie two laft years hath been rc- 
 gularly opened in correspondence with the feveral 
 quarterly meetings, in order more deeply to enter 
 into the ftate of fociety, as it is feen in the truth, 
 a necefiity was evidently difcovered from meeting to 
 meeting, for friends to encreafe their acquaintance 
 with the light, which only makes manifeft, and 
 without which our judgment is exceedingly imper- 
 fect ; and when this is obtained, not only to work 
 in it, but to work wifely in it, endeavouring to fup- 
 prefs a dilpofition which is not purely intent upon 
 hing the witnefs in each other, even when under 
 the necefiity of humblingly difplaying that chriftian 
 virtue, of rendering good for evil, and of being wil- 
 ling to endure all things. Chriftian condefceniion 
 is one of the great wheels whereby the caufe of 
 truth is advanced, amongft rightly exercifed mem- 
 bers, in meetings for discipline. When a burden 
 refts on the mind of any, which in fimplicity is re- 
 moved, it adds greatly to its value, and recommends 
 it to thole to whom it is offered, when fubmitted in 
 the (pirit of true meckiu Is, and no inclination dif- 
 covered to urge that out of the truth, which at lirit 
 was delivered with the favour of it; even though 
 it may leem to undergo perlccution, by that wiidom 
 in others which is from beneath, and is carnal ; for 
 a blelling belongs to thole who rightly endure per- 
 fecution, and being reviled, revile not again. 
 
 To difcriminate between our own fpirits, and. 
 i when contending for the faith, reQU
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 13$ 
 
 great finglenefs of heart, and opennefs to felf-con- 
 vi&ion, which I have ibrrowfully oblerved too few 
 arrive at, or dwell in ; and hence we are deprived 
 of an encreafe in the encreafe of God, the fruit- 
 bearing branches not being fo effectually purged, as 
 to enable them to bring forth more good fruit. — O 
 the beauty of the living branches, when they abide 
 in the vine, draw their lap from the root, and retain 
 only an holy emulation with each other ! a preferv- 
 ing canopy would fuch form in meetings for difcip- 
 line, as well as worfhip, and many who are light in 
 their fpirits, refembling the fowls of the air,, would 
 be induced to lodge under it. No boafting, no felf- 
 ieekingj- no fpirit that would rend or tear the tender 
 feelings of any feeble traveller, could here have any 
 place ; becaufe being branches which bring not forth 
 good fruit, they are cut off and caft into the fire. 
 But as, in the prefent mixed ftate of things, and es- 
 pecially in thefe meetings, where friends are untrain- 
 ed to the public exercife of their gifts, and unaccuf- 
 tomed to fit under a diverfity of fentiments, occa- 
 fions cannot fail of being furnilhed for the trial of 
 chriftian virtues, I was renewedly convinced, of the 
 neceffity which thole who act in the ftation of 
 clerks have to be clear in their views, by dwelling 
 near enough to the fpirit of the gofpel, fo as to receive 
 qualifications therefrom, in pure wifdom,.to Strength- 
 en or make way for that lowly plant which is righte- 
 ous, and boafts not itfelf in the garden of the 
 Lord ; but to which the promife and blefiing belong, 
 «l for all the trees of the field fhall know, that I* 
 the Lord, have brought down the high tree, and ex*
 
 tj* The LIFE 01. 
 
 alted the low tree, have dried up the green tree, 
 and caufed the dry tree to flourifh ;" yea, the val- 
 leys are exalted and the mountains reduced, when 
 the feed of immortal life reigns, and fways its pure 
 fceptre in the afiemblies of the people of God. The 
 attention of my mind was, therefore, fecretly attract- 
 ed to the Father of lights, by whofe powerful difco- 
 veries I favr myfelf ; and notwithstanding the bufi- 
 nefs of the meeting almoft conftantly employed me, 
 yet I was favoured to feel a frequent abftractednefs, 
 and ample opportunities, under a prevailing fenfe of 
 my own weaknefs, fervently to petition the Lord to 
 be with my fpirit, to keep me patient in my prefent 
 employ, meek in my demeanour, and truly a- tenant 
 to His caufe and people. And I may with thankful- 
 nefs acknowledge, to the praife of His grace, which 
 is fufficient for all the wants of His children, that, 
 however deficient in many refpecls for the ftation, 
 I comfortably felt divine ftrcngth and wifdom 
 underneath ; wherein the precious unity of the one 
 fpirit, not only with the prefent, but divers abfent 
 friends, confolated my often drooping mind. Not- 
 withstanding the foregoing obfervations, the meet- 
 ings, in general, were attended with living virtue, 
 and the humble travailcrs refrefhed and inftrueled 
 therewith. 
 
 After the yearly meeting was over, my hufband 
 and I ftaid a few days about London, as did my 
 beloved companion R. J. to whom I ftill felt bound 
 in the fervice which flie was engaged in ; and there- 
 fore fct out again with her for the weftern counties, 
 the feventecnth. of the fixth month. We took the
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 137 
 
 meetings of Staines, Bafmgftoke, Whitchurch, An- 
 dover, Salisbury, Rumfey, and Ringwood, in our 
 way to Fordingbridge, where the quarterly meeting 
 for Hampfhire was held. 
 
 It was a time of fome degree of favour and en- 
 couragement, to a few honeft-hearted friends in that 
 county ; fome of whom are under a renewed viiita- 
 tion of divine mercy. From hence we went to the 
 quarterly meeting of Dorfet, held at Pool ; in which 
 my dear companion was enabled to difcharge her ex- 
 ercifed mind of a load which fhe found there, in a 
 powerful manner ; the ftate of that county being 
 very low, the living fcarcely able to bear the dead. 
 We then proceeded to the meetings of Shaftfbury, 
 Marnhill, Sherborne, and Yeovil, where my dear 
 hufband left us, intending for Briftol, and from 
 thence to Ireland. On this occailon, I felt a fecret 
 breathing for the continuance of the Lord's protect- 
 ing providence, both with refpect to the fafety of 
 the body, and the prefervation of our minds in His 
 fear, and an increafe in His favour. 
 
 From Yeovil we went to Puddemore, Long- 
 fntton, Ilminfter, Chard, Bridport, and fo to Exeter, 
 where we found, as in fome of the foregoing places, 
 a few innocent, concerned friends ; but the want of 
 that baptifm which initiates into the church of 
 Chrift, builds up the members into a fpiritual houfe, 
 a holy temple in the Lord, where He prefides and 
 minifters, was fenfibly felt j and yet the language of 
 encouragement to prefs forward to this ftate, appear- 
 ed to us to be the language of truth. In general, 
 the fpirit of the world, though often difguifed, fo
 
 138 The L I F E of 
 
 much prevails, that before the right foundation can 
 be difcovered, a fpeckras pile of buildings wants pul- 
 ling down ; and therefore for minifters rightly to 
 vifit meetings and individuals in this ftate, requires 
 foundnefs of judgment, ftrcngth in the pure faith, 
 patient perfeverance and righteous zeal; all of 
 which, when I ice myfelf, I feel the want of *. Wc 
 
 * The following paflages arc extracted from her 
 
 letters : 9th of ;th month, 1786. As I trull our 
 
 alliance to each other in fpirit, is ftronger than the ties 
 of nature, it is not (we may conclude) inconfiftent 
 therewith, to impart to each other without ftraitnefs, 
 in the circulation of mutual love and renewed fympa- 
 thy ; for without this quickening experience) all our com- 
 munications mud be lifelefs and infipid. How excellent 
 is the life of truth ! the want of it in myfelf, and i:i 
 others, is a daily burden to my mind ; and the burden 
 bearers, in places where we come, being very few, ren- 
 ders it dill more heavy. — To lay that the ftate of the fo- 
 ciety is low in thefe weftern parts is fo general, and fo juA 
 a complaint, that there is a d of its beiug taken 
 
 up without feeling fufliciently the fpirit of moun. 
 
 " Thirteenth of 7th month 17N6. We endeavour 
 
 quietly to get forward ; and by the continued fuf- 
 taining evidence, that the heft lhength is graciouflj 
 near to aflift in the needful time, and the blefEng 
 which makes truly rich fomctimes revealed in the midit 
 of our poverty, wc arc preferved, thus far, in a degree 
 of thankfulnefs to the gr( plier < t all the neccf- 
 
 fities of His people; though often attended with the 
 1 of mourning over the fcattered ren of a once 
 
 flourifhing heril I 1 ionic places there is 
 
 but little to vifit) yet not being a people who!!; given up 
 to reproach, and the pure feed Hill groaning lor delive- 
 , .1 1. tie room •» leit to labour; and here and
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 139 
 
 ftaid their firft day meeting at Exeter, and then 
 went to Kingfbridge, taking a little meeting at New- 
 ton Bulhel in our way, and to Plymouth, where we 
 attended their monthly meeting ; which is in fo 
 weak a ftate, as to be far fhort of fupporting the 
 dignity of chriftian difcipline in its own fpirit ; and 
 this is lamentably the cafe in many other places. 
 It is only as the gathered churches become fenfible 
 of their deplorable fituation, look beyond their own 
 natural abilities, to the well of life in themfelves, 
 and get low enough to draw water thereout, that a 
 restoration of the power will be witneffed, which 
 is Jefus in the midft of them. We alfo attended 
 their meetings the firft day following, which were 
 deeply exercifing ; but our gracious Helper was near 3 
 
 there an exercifed member dwells, with whom, when- 
 ever they were found, our minds could not but dip into 
 near fympathy ; fo that any little opening to fervice, in 
 fuch defolate places, ought not to be declined, but ra- 
 ther cherifhed in confidence that the good Hufbandman 
 will again plough and fow His plantation, and blefs the 
 labour of thofe He puts forth. I cannot fay that this 
 is an expectation which hath abundantly attended my 
 mind, in our pafling along ; but, juft as I write, a little 
 hope is renewed, that the vineyard will again profper 
 by a right and necefTary extirpation of the briers, the 
 thorns, and the noxious weeds ; and, by an holy cul- 
 tivation, be prepared for the true plants, wherever 
 fcattered, being enclofed within divine protection, and 
 rendered fruitful in holinefs, fo as to be fitted to re- 
 ceive the heavenly Vliitant, and made able to endure the 
 northern and the ibuthern blafts. O that this hope may 
 not perifh, but prove true in a future day, when the 
 earth is lhaken of her reft 1
 
 140 The LIFE of 
 
 ftrcngthening to an honcft labour ; wherein the right 
 way to tke kingdom, was proved to be widely differ- 
 ent from that wherein many are walking ; and 
 under this help, a degree of holy folemnity was 
 felt." 
 
 In addition to the preceding journal, which ap- 
 pears to be left fhort of the vifit, the following ex- 
 tracts have been made from her letters; which, 
 though not containing a regular, continued ac- 
 count, may afford further information and in- 
 struction. 
 
 " The prefent journey with rny beloved 
 
 friend, has been a frefh trial of the uprightnefs of 
 my defire after dedication ; for after returning from 
 Ireland, I earneftly fought quietude and obfeurity, to 
 fettle down amongft my valuable connections and en- 
 joy their fociety, or the benefits of folitude ; but the 
 reward of peace was not the attendant of thefe 
 profpects ; nor did the cloud appear to reft upon my 
 tabernacle : the words, " Time is fhort," were 
 deeply inscribed upon my heart, fo that one thing or 
 other bid me take a few more fteps in the tribulated 
 path of gofpel obedience." 
 
 ** I have felt myfelf thefe few days back, 
 
 as near the end of my prefent commiffion, my faith, 
 patience, and every chriftian virtue, as to the point 
 of land before us •, anil being fo far from home, ag- 
 gravates the profpect, and gives me very much the 
 feeling of a pelican to the wildernefs, out of the reach 
 of almoft any other help, five that holy Ann which
 
 SARAH G R U B B. i 4 i 
 
 leads about and inftructs, in what appears to us 
 the moft deferted iltuation, and moreover hath pro- 
 mifed to keep as the apple of the eye.' 
 
 '< Could I believe myfelf to be one thus provided 
 for, and to whom the arm of power will continue to 
 be extended, fome of my fecret cogitations would 
 be lefs painful and gloomy, and with greater pleafant- 
 nefs, I could advance forward, though in a tribulat- 
 ed way. From Plymouth we came into Cornwall, 
 taking Germains, Looe, Lifkard, Auftel, and Meva- 
 gefTey meetings, in our way to Falmouth, where, and 
 in its neighbourhood, we have met with fome valua- 
 ble friends. In thefe weftern counties through which 
 we have come, viz. Hampfhire, Dorfetfhire, Somer- 
 fetfhire, and Devonfhire, the fociety, as to the cir- 
 culation of that life which we profefs to be feekicg 
 the influence of, is indeed lamentably low. A worldly 
 fpirit and a ftate that is neither hot nor cold, greatly 
 prevails •, fo that the few living members (for there 
 is here and there one) are fcarcely able to lift the 
 ftandard of truth, or revive the remembrance of the 
 law. But in this county, viz. Cornwall, things are 
 better •, a right zeal having fprung up in divers, to 
 fearch into the real ftate of the church, and what 
 is more, a care firft to fearch themfelves ; an exer- 
 cife greatly wanted amongft- active members in many 
 places. C. P.'s labours in thefe parts have been, 
 we think, eminently bleffed ; and the good effects 
 of fuch a faithful difcharge of duty, and bearing a 
 ■fteady, uniform teftimony to the truth, and againfl 
 error, would, there is no doubt, oftner be found, if
 
 M2 The LIFE of 
 
 that was oftner tried. We get but (lowly forward 
 fince we came into this county ; for though I have 
 mentioned fome good in it, yet we find it clofe excr- 
 cifing work, to get clearly down to the good thing 
 alluded to; and have ftaid longer in places here- 
 abouts, than any where before. Tefterday was try- 
 ing to my almoft worn out mind ; my compani 
 got a little relieved in the morning, but I faw no 
 way for myfelf all the day, though under a great 
 weight; but fo it is, wc need patience and fubjection 
 in fuch times, lell wc mo\c before the waters have 
 rifen to their appointed height." 
 
 " We have been favoured to get along 
 
 without accidents, and have to acknowledge that, 
 many ways, wc are helped beyond our frequent I 
 pe&ation ; finding, (as we fuppofe others do) dif- 
 •couragements on the right hand, and on the left ; 
 which, if fullered to prevail, would ioon deftroy 
 that little grain of efficacious faith which removes 
 mountains, and without which, however we may 
 labour and wafte our th, inch mountains of 
 
 Sicultyand unfruhfulnefs, as the chriftian travel- 
 ler meets with, can never be removed. How ne- 
 ccflaryis.it then to fight the good light of faith : 
 that fo, when pure life is circulating, infiead of 
 knowing it not, we may he It lengthened to lay hold 
 of it, and to experience the inner man l'o renewed 
 
 in u-, . s to actuate every fervice. — Here we ice our 
 
 own iniumciency, and how unavailing it is to depend 
 upon our ftrength ami judgment, in things belong- 
 ing to ourfelves or others."
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 143 
 
 — " I have been at meeting this morning at 
 
 Collumpton, a fmall gathering of lukewarm profef- 
 fors, in the general ; but a few folid young people 
 afforded a comfortable profpect for the future. 
 Silence was my lot here ; but my fpirit was deeply 
 humbled, in feeling the baptizing virtue of truth 
 near to purify my vefTel, which I efteem more than 
 the faireft qualifications for public fervice ; and am 
 more and more led fecretly to fupplicate the increafe 
 of this folid experience and ability, to endure with 
 chriftian firmnefs and patience thofe difpenfations 
 by which it is obtained. Neverthelefs, I am often 
 deeply tried in religious meetings, with fuch exceed- 
 ing great ftrippednefs of good, and intrufion of 
 thoughts which I by no means approve there, that 
 I mourn under it ; and when any thing opens, 
 which appears like a difcovery of truth, to give it 
 to others when I am ready to periih with hunger 
 myfelf, is almoft irreconcileable j efpecially when 
 after giving up to it, I find myfelf as poor when 
 a meeting breaks up, as when it began. I can 
 hardly defcribe what I fecretly fuffer from meet- 
 ing to meeeting, on this account j fo that when I 
 am favoured with a fenfible evidence, of the fano 
 tifying power of the Minifter of minifters yet 
 dwelling in mine earthen veffel, abundantly doth 
 my foul acknowledge, that the excellency of the 
 power is not of us, but of Him, and that he hath a 
 right to reveal it when and how he pleafeth." 
 
 She attended the circular meeting at Gloucefter, 
 in the ninth month •, from whence fhe returned
 
 144 The LIFE of 
 
 pretty directly, into Yorklhire, and was at the 
 quarterly meeting for that county. In the fore- 
 part of the tenth month, fhe proceeded with 
 G. D. and others to the County of Durham, and 
 attended the quarterly meeting there. Of thde 
 fervices, no remarks can be added, as there does 
 not appear any thing material of her own preferr- 
 ed on thefe occafions.
 
 SARAH G R U B B. M5 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Family Vifit at Sheffield. — Her llUiefs there. — Confi~ 
 deration of removing into Ireland. — Journey into 
 Lincolnshire-. — Removal to Ireland. — Journey into 
 Holland^ Germany and Franc*. 
 
 IN the firft month 1787, flie was engaged with 
 Reb. Jones and others, in a religious vifit to the 
 families of Friends at Sheffield ; concerning which 
 fhe writes as follows : 
 
 The vifit here is got through, and I hope 
 
 profitably fo to many, and efpecially the youth, of 
 whom here are great numbers j fome of the appren- 
 tices are very raw, but others feem turning about 
 with defire to find, and make, the right purchafe. 
 They are indeed, altogether, a great load of care 
 upon the fhepherds and fhepherdeffes in this place, 
 whofe concern I hope is increafing. It is pleafant to 
 find increafing unity and opennefs amongfi: rightly 
 concerned friends in this place, and that love which 
 cafteth out fear. 
 
 At the clofe of this family vifit, flie was taken 
 very ill, with a heavy cold and an inflammation of the 
 lungs. This diforder continued for feveral weeks, dur- 
 ing which fhe was brought very low in body and mind. 
 But the great Fbyfician, on whom appeared to be 
 
 H
 
 T H F I. I F E • k 
 
 n, 
 
 h and 
 of her 
 
 ( . - ■ Etters, . : 
 
 I vcr 
 
 : the act j ou 
 
 1 appn :.. 
 
 . 
 
 ■ ' D 
 
 :ui 
 irr 
 
 f the j I . • 
 
 I 
 
 er- 
 .1 
 
 i 
 
 the gr 
 
 ■g-
 
 SARAH G G U B B. 147 
 
 The ways of wifdom are a great deep, and 
 
 the defigns of removing from, or reftoring to, this 
 uncertain and probationary ftate of being, are often 
 for purpofes which require a daily waiting for, and 
 dependance upon the unfoldings of pure inftruftion, 
 in order profitably to difcover them. I confider this 
 to be my own cafe, and often remember a remark of 
 J. Woolman's to a friend, perhaps fimilarly circum- 
 ftanced, " do we (fays he) get through with great 
 difficulty, and yet recover ; He requires that we 
 fhould be purged from drofs, and our ear opened to 
 difcipline." 
 
 I am favoured to continue recovering, tho' 
 
 often reminded that in every fenfe I am a poor weak 
 creature, and under abundant neceffity to hold faft 
 the little ftrength I have, and patiently wait for 
 the renewings of that life which quickens, and gives 
 joy in the fpiritual creation. But I am ftill too car- 
 nally minded, too much difpofed to look outward, 
 and too little to prefs through the oppofition of 
 nature, to that true weightinefs of fpirit which J. 
 earneftly fought for in a late feafon of adverfity. 
 Thefe things convince us that, in order to win the 
 crown in view, we muft fight the good fight, and 
 wreltle for that faith which only gives the victory. 
 The iubject of their removing into Ireland, and 
 fettling there, had for a confiderable while, en- 
 gaged her folid confideration ; and the propriety 
 of that undertaking was about this time attended 
 with fuch clearnefs to her own mind, and that of 
 her hufband, that they apprehended the time was 
 
 Hz
 
 MS The L I F E of 
 
 near for their departure from this land. Divers 
 of her letters written on this occafion, fliew her 
 fenfc of the importance of this ineafure, and how 
 great and exemplary was her concern, that they 
 might be directed wifely ami fafely concerning it. 
 The following have been feletted from them. 
 
 Our minds have been under frequent, 
 
 and fometimes, unprofitable concern how to dif- 
 pofe of ourfelvcs. There fecms an abundance of 
 places to chufe from, both in Ireland and here ; 
 but to know our right lot, is what we arc both 
 defying fingly to ftand open to the difcovery of, if 
 conveyed to us ever fo limply; the light which 
 manifefts it, be it ever fo fmall, will, I believe, i'.\- 
 tisfy our fafting minds. We have need to be t 
 duccd low, that we may fo obtain the knowledge 
 of the divine will, as cheerfully to yield obedietii 
 
 reto. Though we think we have Waited Ico 
 tor inftruclion, yet as our opinions, o{ ourfelves 
 efpecially, are often very fallacious, it is not im- 
 poffible but we are far from that Kate of" fclf-no- 
 thingn I dependance, which I am I 
 
 • to hope we are on the brink of. We . 
 at prefent quite unbound I • ai pi - •, perh 
 have no place of abode is the !<>t defigned us ; a 
 th ' much oppofes my inclination, but if right, 
 however I , it muft be fubmitted to, and 
 ■ ,. . [uences likewife, as the requirings of the day. 
 My mind has of late looked with m< 
 
 irnefs than before, towards Ireland. It has l> en 
 a 1 . -r of confideration, attended already with 
 
 much anxiety; and now that I am appreheniive I
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 1^9 
 
 have feen a right opening towards it, I wilh to be 
 preferved from looking back, or entering into un- 
 profitable confiderations about it ; but rather to leave 
 the matter at prefent, only ftanding open to the dif- 
 coveries of more light, either for or againft it, and 
 refpecting the right time of moving, or of nr: 
 moving at all, which I know to be the fituation 
 
 of my hufband's mind refpecling it. 1 well 
 
 know, that except we are in our right places, we 
 can have no true enjoyment or expectation of fup- 
 port under, or the bleiling upon, our allotted por- 
 tion of fuffering ; and we have proved both lands to 
 have in them their fhare of trials and probations ; 
 and know that things which look the moft plea- 
 fant in either, may foon, as fome of them have al- 
 pctmy ~t tiroes been, be embittered, and fliaded 
 with gloom. I wifh however to number my bki - 
 in^s, for they ase many, and far beyond my de- 
 ierts.. 
 
 I often wilh that I could learn to be ftill 
 
 when I have nothing to do, and inftead of {train- 
 ing my eyes in the dark, and watching the breaking 
 of the day, to dwell quietly in the ward all night, 
 believing in the light, and obediei-tly working there- 
 in. The outward day breaks gradually upon us, 
 and experience teaches us the certain indication of 
 its approach, a dawning of light, which we are net 
 apt to diibelieve, nor doubt that the meridian of it 
 will come in due time. And as in the outward, 
 we cannot haften that time, no more can we with 
 refpect to divine illuminations. Does it not there- 
 
 H 3
 
 »5° Th f. LIFE ut 
 
 fore, remain to be our bufinefs, to wait for the 
 light when a little of it appears, to believe in it, 
 
 and that the fulncfs of the day will come, though 
 We do Dot now ice it; remembering that, " blctTcd 
 are they that have not fecn, and yet have believed." 
 This is what I apprehend to be right to do, and 
 what I wifii to attain ; but I would by no means in- 
 iinuate, that I confidently believe myfelf to have ar- 
 rived at it, in the profpccl of removing to Ireland ; 
 meaning only, that after a (late of anxiety, and toffing 
 about with every wind of the fentiments of others, 
 I leemed to get into refignation's harbour. I am how- 
 ever willing to ftand open to further conviclion ; and 
 if the will fhould be gracioufly accepted for the deed, 
 my poor bark excufed the expofure, and my dear 
 R. G. fatisfied, (which I do not doubt if it i^ ri«U*) 
 it will not be an unpleafant releafe from an engage- 
 ment to which I now feel myfelf rather bound : for 
 there arc many in this nation, and in our own coun- 
 ty, (felting afide my near relatives after the flefh) to 
 whom I am ciofely attached, and from whom nature 
 will flinch to part ; but there are alfo divers of this 
 clafs in Ireland, whofe friendfhip will, if my refi- 
 dence there be right, greatly repair the lofs, and 
 tend to fmooth the otherwife rugged path. Thifl il 
 looking at fecondnry caufes, a view which I don't 
 wifh often to take ; becaufe to be in the place align- 
 ed, (whether I was known of mortals or not") where 
 the great work of fan&ifii ttion and acceptance in di- 
 vine favour forward, would, I am fatisfied, 
 a'i'urd a peace fuperior to all human confolati< 
 and enable the truly abated mind uobly to
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 151 
 
 " Although the fig-tree fhall not bioffom, neither 
 fhall fruit be in the vines ; the labour of the olive 
 fhall fail, and the fields fhall yield no meat ; the 
 flock fhall be cut off from the fold, and there fhall 
 be no herd in the flails ; yet I will rejoice in the 
 Lord, I will joy in the God of my falvation :" a 
 glorious experience worthy our afpiring after ! 
 Whatever has a tendency to loofen our afilclions 
 from mixed ftreams of refrefhment, and centre them 
 in the great fource, the well in ourfelves fpringing up 
 unto everlafting life, I apprehend more truly quali- 
 fies for fervice, than a fituation replete with opportu- 
 nities, for the increafe of human wifdom and activi- 
 ty in the vifible church -, which never fail to have in 
 them their fnares, by gratifying felf, if given way to, 
 in one fhape or other. 
 
 What I have felt at times on the fubjeft 
 
 of our removal, cannot be eafily defcribed •> divine 
 fnpport and direction, if flngly fought to, under the 
 weight of it, will be found fufncient to fuflain, and 
 open the right way ; but I apprehend that our fmall 
 grain of faith, may meet with many trials and buffer- 
 ings in our future fteppings ; and oh that we may ne- 
 ver make fhipwreck thereof ! 
 
 May the flaff of lirael be our fupport, feparately 
 and together, and may we have no other depend- 
 ance, is the fecret petition of my mind •, for, in the 
 undertaking before us, we may fay, that with our 
 ftaft only we are paffing over this Jordan. 
 
 Having come to a conclufion refpecfting their re- 
 moval into Ireland, and obtained the concurrence of 
 
 H 4
 
 ■ 52 T ii i LI F E oh 
 
 their monthly meeting, they proceeded to York and 
 
 attended the quarterly meeting there; from whence, 
 
 r taking a folemn and affecting leave of their near 
 
 Conn - and friends, they fet forward for the 
 
 county of Lincoln ; the meetings of which, as well 
 as fome others, fhe felt a defire to attend, in her 
 way to the year'.} meeting. Soon after this trying 
 reparation, <he following letter appears to have been 
 written*. With divers companions in that kr\ice, 
 
 * Laic week but one was our quarterly meeting at 
 York, which was favoured with the overihadowings of 
 
 eavenly wing, it was a parting time, and almoft 
 too affecting for my prefent weak ftatc ; but 1 endeavoured 
 
 eyond perfi aal enjoyments, to that 
 fellowftiip which is pure, Handing with the Father and 
 with the Son, and which admits of no change by i -in- 
 ward ieparation, if we retain our integiicy, and places 
 in the adoption of children. On feventh day morning 
 after, came the dregs of the cup of removal; a h 
 tendering ny b< • /ed a >.s at Y 
 
 with the proprietors of t'. ol, and lb me of their 
 
 hufbands. It was almoll too much for my frame, faith 
 being at a low ebb, a;. uragements coming in like 
 
 a flood ; but in the opening of true vifion, the fpirit i f 
 the Lord was lifted up as a llandard againfl: them. A 
 to the body, I 1 w parted with many who feemed 
 
 interwoven with my existence: with divers oi them it 
 was gradual, and I m it a favour it was fo : but 
 
 jh I am fcnfible, that in the church I lei h fa- 
 
 thers and moth n and fi 
 
 : U li, th • 
 i Jing to th Wth, t 
 
 ; 
 
 felt \ me in Ire ■ h< pe, 
 
 fliould we be \. ■ ■ • '• into
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 1:3 
 
 fhe vifited mo ft or all of the meetings and families 
 of friends in Lincolnfhire, and attended feveral other 
 meetings as me proceeded to London. Though b;;t 
 little of the progrefs of this journey is defcribed in 
 the following extracts ; yet the feelings of her rriind, 
 and the inftructive remarks fet forth therein, will, it 
 is apprehended, render it proper to infert them here. 
 
 We are favoured to get along as well as 
 
 we might expect, we hope in fome degree of fympa- 
 thy with the ftate of the beft things in this defolate 
 county ■, but upon the whole, my mind is and hath 
 been favoured with a calm, efpecially for thefe few 
 days back, which tends to promote the rcftoration 
 of health, and ftrengthens with a good degree of 
 refignednefs, to look forward to the profpects before 
 me ; and fo far from confidering the purfuit of them 
 a hardihip, I efteem the- end propoied thereby, a 
 favour of which I am unworthy ; for what is there 
 worth living for, but to be found in the difchargs of 
 our duty ? 
 
 We are now in the Ifle of Axolrn; vifiting 
 
 1 few defolate profeiTors, who are like iheep haying 
 no flier herd ; and yet in a place as. much, neglected 
 as perhaps any in the ibciety, we ar.e.comfoittd in 
 finding a feed alive, refembling Jofeph in Egypt, and 
 may fay, for my own pact, that I have fek the rncft 
 ;o!id reward far a little kbour here, of any fiiKf 
 leaving York. It is not after the fight of the eye, or 
 the hearing of the ear, that we can judge aright. 
 
 and rightly (land in our lots at Clonmcl, we fhall find 
 every wailt fhpplied, and true yoke-fellows beytad ci 
 defertai 
 
 H'5
 
 >54 The LIFE of 
 They that fuffcr with the feed, ih.ill reign 
 
 ■With it ; but it miift not be in our way, nor in our 
 time. Patience is clue on our part, and the exercife 
 of that grata of faith which we have received; for, 
 " by faith the elders obtained a good report," I pre- 
 sume of the Lord, rather than of men. Then let us 
 not be afraid of the trial, for its cflkacy is proved 
 thereby. O that I was ftronger in this fpot ! for 
 even lince we left York, and particularly on leaving 
 it, I have teemed to be reduced to the loweft ebb, 
 and, nature hath foreboded difcouragements beyond 
 what I thought I was able to bear. But this is not 
 always the cafe ; for fomctimes, when every thing 
 elfe is fliaded with gloom, the foundation is molt 
 • clearly revealed, and its (landing fare incontrovcrti- 
 bly known and believed in; fo that all things ha\< 
 appeared pofiible to him that be'.ievcth, and the ways 
 of the Moft High difcovered to be higher than our 
 ways, and his thoughts than our thoughts. Here T 
 love to repofe myfelf, and ftand refigncd to every 
 cMfpenfation which has the remoteft tendency, not 
 only to let me fee the work of my day, but to refine 
 and qualify for it. 
 
 I have recovered fo much, that I have 
 
 now fcarce any thing to complain of reflecting the 
 body. To be Aire it i3 not very ftrong, but it 1. 
 thus far proved able fo bear all that was laid upon it ; 
 which is encouragement to myfelf, and alfo to 
 others, to pcrfevere in yielding ourfelvcs up, under 
 the power of the crofs, to every opening of duty, 
 feeing that all things are pofiible to them that bc- 
 fcevc. And yet I Bunted in my mind many a time,
 
 S A R AH GRUB B. i$± 
 
 and feemed to be one of thole who have no faith : 
 fo that, on reflecting upon this little einbaffy, the 
 proipect and the progrefs of it, it feems as if it was 
 all done for me by that good Hand, which requires 
 the paflivenefs rather than the aetivenefs of the crea- 
 ture, in profecuting His ciefigns. Though I now 
 give a pretty good account of the body, I may alfo 
 add, that, lbmetimes, my mind gets encompafTed 
 with glooms and diScouragements, which nothing 
 can diflipate, fave a ftate of resignation and quiet de- 
 pendance upon the everlafting Arm of Omnipotence ; 
 and this is often fo hard to attain, that I am afraid 
 of falling in the ftruggle, when a hope is again revi- 
 ved, of being under divine protection, and that the 
 day's work is really going forward. This, at times, 
 introduces a quiet ferenity, and Strengthens to leave 
 the things that are behind, and prefs forward to 
 thofe that are before. The Sympathy of my friend ; 
 under my late trials, has been considered a favour of 
 which I am unworthy ; and there is undoubtedly no 
 better way of Securing it upon the foundation of gol- 
 pel fellowship, than by learning to live without it, 
 and looking Singly to the Rock from whence all 
 good things are hewn, and the hole of the pit, the 
 humbling difpenfations. of infinite wifdom, from 
 whence they are dug. 
 
 Soon after the yearly meeting at London, they 
 proceeded for Clonmel in Ireland, where She was 
 favoured to arrive in Safety, in the 6th month 1787, 
 with her health much improved, and under a good 
 degree of peace and fatisfaction of mind ; which con- 
 tinued for fome time after her arrival, as a Source
 
 156 Tu e L I F E of 
 
 of confutation and encouragement (he writes as fol- 
 lows : 
 
 Our removal lias altogether been blcficd 
 
 with a good Jcgixc of that peace wiii. h pafieth un- 
 deritanding, and attended with fuch circumftanci , 
 thus far, as we have great caiue to be thankful i. 
 An unmixed cup of comfort in human life, is what 
 my ihort pufftge through the world, has taught ! 
 not to look for, and a iuu.il degree of religious t ■- 
 perience, not to pray for-, and yet to pray fur th< 
 things which are really good for us, will eve* re- 
 quire the renewings of that Spirit which only 
 breathes the will of the Father. Nature ilirinks . . 
 fufiering ; fometimes I am ... to anticipate .1 
 draught of it, proportion able to the lati .....1 prefent 
 degree of favour; and fometi es I am (Littered 
 with a language that tells me, " it is already drunk, 
 and that the bitternefs of death is paft» M An hum- 
 ble, refigned mind i* however always cur duty and 
 intereft to prefs after. It has a fortification in it- 
 fielf againfi the varied a ... u I & I in, and a fuffii 
 ent portion of Gilead's Balm for every afflictive 
 difpenfation of infinite wifdom; both of which, if 
 my natural Lie is fpared, will, I do believe, be nv, 
 companions, and prove frequent trials of an abiding 
 and advancement in that gofpel Spirit) which lovcth, 
 . and endureth through ail. 
 
 Her mind hail frequently, for a considerable 
 
 re this period, been imprefled and tlofel.y 
 
 exercifed with an apprehennon, that it would L. 
 
 f h r to pay .. r< I is vifit to fome puts 
 
 ©f Germany and France: and, a few months after
 
 SARAH G R U B B. r^y- 
 
 her fettlement in Ireland, this concern increafed 
 with fuch weight and evidence, that fhe was con- 
 ftrained, in reiignation, to fpread it before the 
 friends of their monthly meeting ; who, after folid 
 deliberation and fympathy, concurred therewith, and 
 gave her their certiheate of unity and approbation. 
 She received alio the near concurrence of their 
 quarterly meeting, and that of the morning meeting 
 of minilters and elders in London, and fet forward 
 on this journey in the 3d. month, 1788, in compa- 
 ny with her hufband, George Dillwyn and his wife, 
 and Mary Dudley ; who were alio bound to this 
 fervice, and engaged therein with the unity of. 
 friends. 
 
 The following parts of her letters on this occaiion', 
 defcribe the previous exercife of her mind, and con- 
 tain a pretty regular, though fhort account of the 
 journey, from the commencement of it, to its con- 
 eluilon. 
 
 1 2th month 1787. My mind after a feafon of 
 deep trial and exercife, was led to vifit, in what ap- 
 peared to myfelf an extraordinary degree of gofpel 
 love, many in that country, and fome parts, of Ger- 
 many contiguous thereto ; fully believing, according 
 to my feelings, that there were fpiritual worshippers 
 in thole parts. 
 
 1 2th month. 1787. If the profpecl: before us be 
 in divine wifdom, we have great caufe to acknow- 
 ledge that it is unfathomable, and pall: our finding 
 out, becaufe of my incapacity, in every refpecl, to 
 perform fuch a journey to the honor of the great 
 Caufe. I wifhj however, now to leave caring to©
 
 158 The LIFE 01 ( 
 
 much about the future, and endeavour after quiet 
 reiignation ; well knowing, that by talcing ever fo 
 much unprofitable thought, I cannot add one cubit 
 to my ftature, nor make one hair of my head, white 
 or black ; and alio hoping, that when it comes to 
 the trial, the will may be accepted for the deed ; 
 which I have no doubt will be the cafe, if the pro- 
 vince meeting, or my fympathizing friends, advik 
 me againft it ; or if no friend of fuperior weight in 
 the miniftry, proves under the like concern, and ad- 
 mits us in their company. Difcouragements of va- 
 rious kinds crowd in at times upon me, but when 
 gofpel love flows from the living fountain, it over- 
 powers all felfifh confiderations, and fhews me my 
 own unworthinefs to be, in the leaft degree, employ- 
 ed in the divine hand. 
 
 1 ft month 1788. Our fituation at prefent, re- 
 quires at leaft a grain of that faith which has power 
 to remove mountains; for, tridy, vain is the help of 
 man, in cafes where the pure iced is to be exalted. 
 A fenfe of our infuflicicncy to do any good thin?, 
 without divine affiltance, will, I truft, whatever our 
 trials or temptations may be, fo humble us, as 
 wholly to prevent a vain depcnd.inro upon any 
 thing of our own ; but furely there is as much need 
 for watchfulnefa and prayer at thi«- Jay, as when the 
 difciples were immediately recommended to it. 
 
 1 ft month 1788. My mind is often under a load 
 of exercife on my own account, and in care left the 
 precious caufc fhould fuffcr by me. The prefent is 
 a time of deep trial and learching of heart, left we 
 fhould be meddling with, or doing, any thing which
 
 SARAH G R U B B. t$ 9 
 
 is not in the clear difcovery of gofpel light. When I 
 confider how little I am experienced in the ftation 
 wherein I may be likely to move, the newnefs and pe- 
 culiarity of the fervice in profpect, and even the weak- 
 nefs of the outward tabernacle, (which to be fure I 
 think leaft of) my feelings fuggeft the applicablenefs 
 of the faying, " I am a worm." This however cheers 
 me, that without fome degree of clearness, we need 
 not, neither ihall attempt to move. 
 
 2d month 1788. I have been of late confidera- 
 bly indifpoied, but upon the whole am much better, 
 though every day fenfible of having (by fome means 
 or other) a very broken conftitution. If it do but 
 lait till Ihe portion of work allotted me is finifhedj 
 that is enough, even though it be performed under 
 the preffure of bodily infirmities ; all which may be 
 no more than neceiTary to keep the mind to its pro- 
 per centre, and direct its attention, lingly to an in- 
 heritance undented, and. which fadeth not away. 
 
 3d month 1788. According to prefent appear- 
 ances, we, (I mean our little company) frand in a~ 
 bundant need of the whole armour of light, We are 
 about to embark for a country, the language of 
 which none of us know, and in expectation of a 
 path wherein we can fee no footfieps, and which 
 muft be attended with new and various trials* May 
 our truft be in the Lord alone, who is able, in fea*- 
 fbns of the greateft difficulty, to encr.eafe our faith., 
 and make way for us where we lee no way. 
 
 Having the concurrence of friends, we 
 
 left London and proceeded for Harwich, wher-e we 
 were detained feveral days for want of a. fair wind ;
 
 i do TheLIFLo, 
 
 during which time we had two meeting , and 
 
 Is, (23d of 3d month) the wind turning in fa- 
 vour if our leaving that port, we embarked ; but it 
 was fourth day night, the twcnty-icvcnth, before we 
 landed at J Icivoetfluys, which was nevertheless a fa- 
 vour, and I hope efteemed lb by us all. We got 1 
 an agreeable Englifll inn there, and after a pretty 
 
 i night's reft, fet forward I rds Rotterdam, 
 by way of the Briel and Delf, and cue in fafe ra- 
 ther late at night, it being there a gre; >ork 
 of about twenty-five miles. We travelled in an 1 
 waggon the fir ft feven miles, the road being Jo bad 
 that no other carriage could get aloiv; wit! 
 and the reft of the way went m their bo • 
 Treckfchuyts, which are drawn by horf< I the 
 rate of about three miles an hour, 'i lis is .. very 
 pleafant and eafy way of travel'. . i\\ it was 
 through a country made as agreeable hy improve- 
 ments as it is capabie of, being very flat 'i:d marfhy. 
 Many of the inhabitants followed us through lbme 
 towns, and gazed exceedingly at us; and fomc 
 
 them, .... well as they were able, 11, a:. helled a love 
 which met that in w that drew us hither; but the 
 ftrangenefs of our langi • to each other, was a con- 
 tinual discouragement ; yet as it was not of our own 
 bringing on, \sc endeavoured to keep quiet under it, 
 and lei retly defired that ( ur minds might be fo influ- 
 enced, as to corn •. to them, in hleiue, that v\hi<h 
 1 tter than words. We have now got into Co new 
 a line, that it is no woridei if we fhould be more 
 than ufually blind; and it will be well, iffome of us 
 ikj be alio more than ufually dependant and pa-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 161 
 
 tient reflecting our fteppings ; for being feparated 
 and remote from our friends, and fome of dlfpofiti- 
 ons rather hafty tlran oiherwife, there is, no doubt, 
 a danger of fometimes preiling forward with too 
 much earneftnefs, and thereby of preventing the 
 completion of thofe little ferviccs, in one way or 
 other, which are intended for the purchafe of our 
 own peace at leaft. Though Holland was not much 
 in the profpect of us who came from Ireland, yet we 
 have been favoured with fomething more than a 
 hope, that we are thus far in our places, and feel a 
 comfortable and ftrengthening unity one with ano- 
 ther therein. The defire of my mind is at prefent 
 ftrong, that, though in ever fo much weaknefs, we 
 may be enabled to pafs through the country in that 
 flr.^lcnefs ziil dedication of heart, which may pre- 
 lerve us from condemnation. 
 
 We ftaid three days in Rotterdam, and had two- 
 public meetings at the meeting houfe belonging to 
 friends ; there are a great many Englifh people in 
 that city, and the attenders of our meetings being 
 principally of that clafs, Ave had no need of an inter- 
 preter. There are fome ferious people with whom 
 we got acquainted, and to whom our vifit feemed 
 acceptable, but no profelTors with us, except one 
 perfon, who cannot be expected, in his prefent ftate, 
 to throw much light upon the teftimony of truth j 
 but he was very willing to render us fuch ferviccs 
 as were in his power, which we took kind. 
 
 From Rotterdam, we came forward to Amfterdam, 
 by way of Leyden, Haarlem, &c. and were kindly 
 received by our friend John Vanderwerf. Here our
 
 l6t The LIFE o i 
 
 minds, generally, got very low on divers accounts. 
 Several of ns were poorly with complaints in the 
 ftomach, &C. which ftrangers are fubjeel to, before 
 their confutations come to bear the difference of their 
 meat, drink, air, &o The few under the name of 
 friends in this great city, yielded us little of that 
 itrength which is the fruit of lympathy of ipirit, 
 and inward acquaintance with divine requirings ; and 
 which, if right, would have been truly ialutary and 
 cordial to us at that time, as we looked upon our- 
 felves to be then embarking upon the moft arduous 
 and difcouraging part of our journey ; having a gi 
 diftance to travel, entirely unacquainted with the 
 country, Grangers to all their different languages, 
 except a little French, and no interpreter to ac- 
 CCrr.paTiy us. Under thele complicated trials, our 
 faith got into the furnace afreih. This was much 
 the cafe with me, and my dear companions felt no 
 lefs. However, as we endeavoured after refignation, 
 and were fometim.s replenished with ftrength pati- 
 ently to wait for renewed manifeftations of duty, 
 way opened, by degrees, to get clear of that place. 
 Wc attended their little monthly meeting, the 1 
 nefs whereof was tranfacled in the Dutch language ; 
 fo that we had not an opportunity of judging much 
 about them ■, except that their appearance, and the 
 feelings of our minds, convinced us that true religion 
 is at a low ebb amongft them ; and yet there is fomc- 
 thing tender which loves truth, and with which, a 
 family viiit amongfr. them, made us better acquaint- 
 ed *. We had alio three public meetings there, 
 
 * Wc were comforted in the belief that their folita-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 16*3 
 
 which were attended by many of the inhabitants of 
 different descriptions ; but there are a few with whofe 
 company, both in and out of meetings, we were 
 comforted. They are a ferious religious people, not 
 connected with any fociety, and believing in the 
 Spirituality of all true worfhip. We paid a vifit to 
 one of their families, which conSifts of a widow, 
 her fon, and two daughters, none of them young. 
 They are people of considerable property, which they 
 devote very much to the fervice of the poor. They 
 were affectionately kind, and demonstrated their 
 unity with, and attachment to our principles, as 
 far as they had heard them in the meetings which 
 they attended, and were fully convinced of the necef- 
 fity of an inward work, and that all true worShip 
 TTtvft be n^r formed in fnirit a*«* •« t*""t'?: If! ?. "Z- 
 
 ligious opportunity which we had with them before 
 we parted, the cementing influence of gofpel love 
 
 flowed amongft us like a Stream. From this iamiiy, 
 we were furnifhed with letters of recommendation 
 
 ry Situations are divinely regarded, and hope that divers 
 of their deficiencies in fome points wherein we have been 
 ctherwife taught, are counterbalanced in the fight of 
 holy compaffion and juftice, by the Sincerity of their in- 
 tentions, and the difcouragements in many refpetts pe- 
 culiar to them, which we, by experience, know little 
 about. The keeping up of a meeting for worfhip every 
 firfl day, in their weak flate, is an atf: of faithfulnefs, 
 which we might be often ready to faint under, were w; 
 in their Situation, Separated from the Strengthening com-. 
 munications which religious fociety affords, (not having 
 received a vifit of this kind for four years) and being 
 dcfpiSed amongft the worldly minded.
 
 1 64 Thi. LIFE oi 
 
 to fuch as tli. s in Gen , fome of whoa 
 
 we have f< ' on. During our ftay 
 
 in Amfterdam, we were u ed for, by J< » li 1 1 
 
 Vanderwerf, or one of his fons, both in public and 
 private. It Teemed ftrange, and - thcr hard to us 
 women, eipecially at firft j but we foon got over it, 
 and had reafon to hope that our religious communi- 
 cations were not materially . I ; our friend 
 feemed to have an awe upon his mind when he ftood 
 up, took off' his hat, and delivered, fentence by fen- 
 tence, what was expreffed. Thus after fpending 
 eight days at Amsterdam, and being deeply tried in 
 that place, our minds were fixengtbened to have it, 
 (the 9th of the 4th month,) with a renewed trult, 
 that the great Shepherd o( Ifrael, who knows his 
 
 . . - r ' • ' 1 o n 1 • ' • ■ • ' . • 1 , . . • ■ ■ _ 
 
 \>»»n .itv^.. 111 wvv_ir ii.«» — ..._.- » .._._. .. 
 
 mote from the knowledge and confo.at.Ion of their 
 friends, would fuperintend us, and gracio tfly "•'< 
 himfclf for our help, in the needful time. We 
 effayed to proceed by way of Utrecht, (where a 
 few books were distributed, and much love felt for 
 the inhabitants) Nimeguen, and thro' part of the k 
 of Pruffia's domii into the Elector of Bavar 
 
 to a place called DufTeldorff, where wc again made 
 a little ftop, finding a few who could (peak Englifh, 
 and moft of them French. Here we commenced 
 acquaintance with a fi lid, religious man, named 
 Michael Wettefboar, to whom wc were recommend- 
 ed by the people whom I 
 
 dam. Being gathered to the principle of truth, 
 and ■ nform to it, as revealed in the line 
 
 of his own experience, he walks much alone in a
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 165 
 
 dark and diffipated place. He was a kind friend to 
 Claude Gay, Aviien paying a fimilar villt to our's in 
 tliis country, many years ago, and was rejoiced to 
 fee us. He lamented the lonefomenefs of his fitua- 
 tion, and faid that his mind was ftrengthened by the 
 vifit. From hence Ave went eighteen miles and back, 
 out of our road, to Elberfeid, where, as at many 
 other places, for want of an interpreter, we fuffer- 
 ed what often appears to us an unavailing baptifm 
 for the testimony's fake. But perhaps it is not fo 
 much fo as we are apt to think : the ways of the 
 Moft High are not our ways, nor his thoughts our 
 thoughts ; we know not but this deeply humbling 
 path, and the fecret exercifes we have daily to pafs 
 through without any viiible relief, may have a ufe 
 beyond our finite conceptions ; fo that it is fafeft to 
 leave thefe things, and outward considerations about 
 them, in the hand which can blefs, and render fruit- 
 ful, the things which are not, by caufing them to 
 bring to nought the things which are. However, we 
 found an opening to fome folid converfation with a 
 few in this place, and underftood that there are many 
 religious people there ; but we were difcouraged by the 
 difficulties we found in getting an acquaintance with 
 them; fo we returned, after ftaying one night, 
 to DufTeldorfF. We left that place, and paffing 
 through a dark country, arrived in two days at New- 
 vied, the 1 8th of the 4th month. We have had 
 very little rain fince we came upon the continent, 
 confequently the roads are dry, but being for the 
 moft part a deep fand, we have not been able to 
 travel over it fo quickly as is defirable. Thirty
 
 166 The LIFE of 
 
 miles a dnv, is I think nearly the average of our ex- 
 pedition, though we moftly travel poft. The vehicles 
 are heavy, being generally covered waggons or 
 clumfy coaches. We moftly prefer the former, as 
 ourfelves and luggage meet the belt accommodation 
 In them. The inns are pretty good, and the peo- 
 ple refpeclfully kind to us, and in that line but lit- 
 tle difficulty occurs in making ourfelves underftood. 
 Our road has lain upon the banks of the Rhine, and 
 furniflicd us with profpecls of a country extremely 
 beautiful, and, in fome places, for miles together 
 covered with vineyards. But the plcafure which 
 we might innocently have derived from thofe 
 fcepes, has met with continual damps, by the grofs 
 proftitution of facred things which, in the croffes 
 and images thickly fcattered upon the road, give 
 pain to every feeling whereby fpirituul worfhip is 
 promoted. The Roman Catholics are very numerous 
 in many parts which we have paffed through •, but, in 
 moll places, the 1'roteh.ar.ts enjoy the privileges they 
 defire without interruption; and amongit them there 
 is undoubtedly an awakened, iincere hearted people. 
 On our arrival at Ncwvied, we found a great change 
 in the Lite of things, it being a new and pleafant 
 town, inhabited by fcrious ProteftantS, and princi- 
 pally by the Moravians ; though there are about 
 twenty families of the Mer.enihs, and as many of a 
 people who call themfelvcs Infpirants, but by others 
 are often called Quakers. We were directed to a 
 Moravian inn, which proved %< ry agreeable, feeling 
 ourfelves in that family very much as if we were at
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 167 
 
 home. Here we were foon vifited by feveral of the 
 Moravian brethren and lifters, fome of whole minds 
 appeared unprejudiced, and intent upon fpiritual 
 improvement ; which drew them often to our apart- 
 ments, and opened a door for the communication of 
 fuch gofpel truths, as, from time to time, occurred ; 
 and we had a comfortable hope, that they dropped 
 into fome of their minds as feed into good ground. 
 We had the advantage in that place of an interpre- 
 ter, a young man of the Moravian ©economy, who 
 cheerfully befriended us on many occalions ; and 
 though, at the firft, he appeared under difficulty in 
 communicating religious matter which was new to 
 him, yet before we went away, his underftanding 
 feemed more opened, and his feelings much more 
 cordially difpofed to the principle of truth as we 
 profefs it, and to the feveral branches thereof. 
 We had a public meeting in that place the evening 
 before v»e left it, after a week's deep exercife and 
 fecret fuficring •, but this opportunity furnifhed us 
 with renewed caufe, to put our truft in the gentle 
 puttings forth of the Shepherd of Ifrael, and in the 
 revelation of His power, which we humblingly find 
 is fometimes withheld, till the feafons of our greateft 
 extremity. The young man, our interpreter, readily 
 accepted his office in the meeting, without any pre- 
 vious requeft, and performed it with great folidity. 
 Our vifit to that place was clofed by a feafon of di- 
 vine favour, in a family which cheerfully received 
 the teftimony we had unitedly to bear, to the effica- 
 cy of fpiritual worfhip, and the neceffity of prepa- 
 ration for it ; and in much love and tendernefs of
 
 168 The LIFE of 
 
 fpirit we left Newvied. " O the depth and extent of 
 the riches, both of the knowledge and wifdom of 
 God! bow uafearchable are his judgments, and his 
 ways p; it finding out !" We had abundant caufe in 
 our travels through Germany, to fay, that we were 
 led in paths which we knew not, and frequently 
 reduced to a ftate of extremity. We were fenfible, 
 according to our meafures, of the mi ft of hipcrfti- 
 tion and idolatry which ovcrfprcacls a great part of 
 the country ; and alio had, at times, revealed that 
 mo ft lure word of prophecy, which penetrates the 
 obfeureft recefles of S ion's travellers, draws them 
 into hidden fellowship one with another, and unites 
 them in the fufferings of the precious feed, though 
 differently fituated in the world, and their profeffion 
 in it various. Thus were we Led in paths which we 
 knew not, ajgd ways we had not feen, and were 
 often incapable of finding out thole whom we thus 
 felt, and when we .lid difcover fuch, we were un- 
 able, for want ot a knowledge of their language, 
 fullv to communicate to them : but miffing in the 
 all-fufficiency of almighty help, for the fupply of 
 all their needs, we were favoured, when dedication 
 •of heart luul been attail 1, and the green paftures 
 of i 1, to lie down befide the Aill waters, and 
 
 leave the t vent oi our travel to Him who blefieth, or 
 bl; fteth, at his pldafure. From Newvied we came to 
 Wifbaden, a place in r :it requeil for warm bath- 
 11 , there being f •■ ral boiling hot fprings in the 
 town, from which the water is conveyed to private 
 erns, where it cools for ufe. There feemed Some- 
 thing rather attractive in tins place to our minds,
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 169 
 
 and yet, as was often the cafe, difcouragements 
 prevailed over our best feelings, and we proceeded 
 to Frankfort, a day's journey. There we ftaid two 
 nights ; but though we had letters of recommenda- 
 tion to religious characters, yet for want of being 
 able to make ourfelves understood, we had no con- 
 verfation with any but a Pietist who fpoke Englifh 
 but poorly, and who, after fome difcourie on religious 
 subjects, left us with profeffions of love. From 
 Frankfort we proceeded to Bafle, a large proteftant 
 town, where we arrived the 3d of the 5th month. 
 Here our minds feemed arrefted, and all efforts to- 
 wards purming our journey were painful, till we 
 had fettled a few days under our exercife, and em- 
 braced, though in the crofs, such opportunities as 
 opened for relief. Having fome letters of recom- 
 mendation to ferious people, they were prefented to 
 them ; in confequence of which, feveral vilits were 
 paid us, and we obferved in fome rather a criti- 
 cal investigation of our principles. They were cau- 
 tious of embracing us till they perceived the doc- 
 trines we held *, after which there was great open- 
 nefs in fome of their minds, candidly to receive 
 fuch communications on religious subjects as from 
 time to time opened. One of them underftanding 
 the Englifh language well, was, in feveral instances, 
 a very friendly interpreter to us ; and his mind be- 
 ing acquainted with divine illuminations, he often 
 discovered fymptoms of conviction and fenfibility, 
 when, as a channel, the openings of truth were 
 palling through him. In a large company to which 
 
 I
 
 170 The LIFE of 
 
 we were invited, this pcrfon, obferving our dif- 
 poi"irion to Glence, kindly and feelingly propofed 
 and requefted a compliance of the company. We 
 
 were favoured, to our thankful admiration, with the 
 humbling influence of divine love, and Itrength 
 renewedly to bear teftimony to the necelhty of an 
 inward preparation for the folemn act of true wor- 
 fhip, which requires neither forms nor ceremonies, 
 to render it acceptable to the Father of Spirits. 
 The opportunity was concluded in folemn fuppli< a- 
 tion, which our friendly interpreter rendered, fen- 
 tence by fentence, into the Dutch language, with 
 a reverential awe, whereby the livelinefs of it was 
 preferred. We had alio a comfortable feafon of 
 retirement in the family of another of our friends 
 there, whofe wife and daughters profefs not to 
 fee tin- nereflity of a religious circumfpeel life, as 
 he, and his eldelr l'on do; but they were affection- 
 ate and attentive to us, and we had reafoo to 
 hone, received no unprofitable impreffions by this 
 little act of dedication. This perfon conducted with 
 tru » towards us, difcovering great 
 
 fimplicity of heart, and an opennefs to receive the 
 truth, wherever, or however he might find it-, 
 b ing experienced in that great work of r< pentai 
 unl , and ceafing from many entanglements in 
 
 the 1, which he believed had a tendency to en- 
 
 >e his mind, and to ke p him in a ftate of ' 
 par 1 from divine fav >u : l" thai to meet with 
 
 fellow pilgrims who could tell him a little ol their 
 kn T ,e of the right way, feemed like marrow 
 
 to his b^...s. We have feveral times fallen in with
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 171 
 
 perfons who kindly entertained Claude Gay, in his 
 lonefome travel through thefe parts j and in Bafle 
 we have found two agreeable religious old men, 
 with whom he was hofpitably fuftained for three 
 weeks. They are of a people called Infpirants, and 
 often by others Quakers ; but upon an acquaintance 
 with them, efpecially at Newvied, we found them 
 no lefs active than other profeflbrs in fmging, pray- 
 ing, preaching, &c. in their congregations. They 
 appear to be defcendants of the French prophets j 
 and amongft them there is an honeft hearted num- 
 ber to whom the love and language of the gofpel 
 flowed with more opennefs, and appeared to be re- 
 ceived with more fimplicity, than amongft fome 
 others. To thefe two elderly men we paid feveral 
 vilits, which were not unattended with inftructive 
 converlation ; but this did not afford that relief 
 which our exercifed mind feemed to want, nor could 
 we comfortably fee our way from the town, till 
 we had, in their family and amongft fuch as they 
 might invite, borne teftimony, by our example alfo, 
 to the neceflity of filent waiting *. It was a feafon 
 obtained with difficulty, and paffed through in tribu- 
 lation of fpirit. The candle was not eallly put in- 
 to the candleftick, and when there, evidently fuf- 
 
 * To put the light into the candleftick, fo as to bear, 
 even in pri ate, a teftimony to the truth, and fpiritual 
 anointing in filence, is here a greater trial of our love 
 and faithfulnefs to ihe caufe, than any can readily be- 
 lieve, who have not been led amongft thofe who are 
 ignorant of a ceflation from their own works. 
 
 I 2
 
 i;: Tii l L I F E of 
 
 pelted by thefe people, not to be in its right place. 
 
 But before the meeting clofed, public teftimony was 
 borne to it, and to the refurrection of that life which 
 is the light of men, being the only qualification of 
 fpirit, to come forth from that ftate of darkm fs 
 and death in which we are by nature, and to per- 
 form any religious duties, or acceptable fcrvice to 
 the Lord. At the clofe of this opportunity, we 
 parted with thefe two men in love, though not a 
 perfect unity of fentiment, which appeared more 
 fully by an affectionate letter which one of them 
 fent after us. There was alfo in this place, and 
 in mo ft others where we ftopped, a prejudii e againft 
 women's preaching, which encreafed the difficulty 
 our minds often felt in obtaining relief amongfl a 
 people of a ftrange language ; but though our ef- 
 forts were few and feeble, vet as far as dedicate 
 clothed US, and we were careful not to caft away 
 our confidence, we had ever caufe gratefully to ac- 
 knowledge, that great recompence of reward was 
 vouchsafed, and the foul ftrengthened to return 
 to its reft, under a renewed fenfe that the Lord 
 had dealt bountifully with it. The kuulnefs we 
 have met with in many places, exceeds what we 
 might have expelled, having fever d times expe- 
 rienced fo much of the promife fulfilled, that We 
 have met with brethren and lifters, who, thou 
 
 altogether of tin fame profefiion, are fellow 
 
 travellers in the chrifti.in path. Sometimes a w 
 
 doin appears in our being (tripped of that outward 
 
 .<, fo defirable, of an interpreter; as in our 
 
 fent circumftance, if any good is done, there is
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 173 
 
 no part of it wherein the creature can glory. There 
 is one thing which expofes us, that does not often 
 fuit the difpofition of our minds, which is, that 
 at the beft inns (where we generally go) we mufr. 
 always dine and fup at the ordinaries, where there 
 is often a great refort of company. If there is any 
 ufe in this mortification, it will amply make up ; 
 the only teftimonies which are publicly borne this 
 way, are by our men friends keeping on their 
 hats, and refusing to pay for the mufic which fome- 
 times accompanies our meals. We took a coach 
 from Bafie * to Bern, where we ftaid over a firft 
 
 * The following letter was written at Bafle the 9th 
 of 5th month 1788. 
 
 As it is probable we may leave Bafle without taking 
 leave of thee, and acknowledging thy kindnefs with a 
 gratitude due to it, and feeling in my heart a chriflian 
 falutation, I take the liberty, this way, of expreffing 
 my defire for thy increasing knowledge of the myfteries 
 of the kingdom of God ; which our bleffed Lord 
 thanked his Father for concealing from the wife and 
 prudent, and revealing unto babes. The facred influ- 
 ences of divine light upon our underftandings, are 
 cheering to the mind, and animate its efforts to obtain 
 the liberty of the children of God : and as we wait in 
 this light, and believe in its manifeftations, we are fa- 
 voured to fee more light, the means appointed to pro- 
 cure it are revealed to us, and ftrength given to follow. 
 But as it was prophetically fpoken of the Saviour of 
 the world, that there was no form or comelinefs in him, 
 that when we fhould fee him, we mould defire him, 
 fo the ftmplicity of his gofpel is found to be. Nothing 
 more flrongly oppofes the will, wifdom, and activity of 
 the creature, than in all abafement, fmgly, to depend 
 
 13
 
 174 The LIFE 01 
 
 day pretty much in private, f.ive that an agreeable 
 folkl man, an Infpirant, paid us fome vifits, I be- 
 lieve to mutual fatisfa&ion. We heard of a reli- 
 gious exercifed coachman for whom was left a book 
 or two, he not being at home. And thus, after 
 fecretly differing, as in many other places, we took 
 our departure for Geneva, travelling through a \e- 
 ry beautiful country the 1 a it twenty miles, bv the 
 L.kc of Geneva, and in profpect of the Alps ; 
 
 upon the promifed Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, the 
 anointing which an Apoflle faid the true believers re- 
 ceived and had abiding in them, the unfpeakable gift 
 purchafed by the precious blood of the Lamb, and dif- 
 penfed in infinite mercy for our falvation, which, thi 
 its converting, purifying power is elfec'tcd ; for he gave 
 himfelf for us, that he might redeem us from all inicpii- 
 
 . &c. Nevertheless the glorious end for which this 
 Sacrifice was made, ought to be advanced to, and our 
 tlependancc increafe upon the fmalleit eliJ'eoveries of the 
 fpirit of Chrill, though to the natural mind there may 
 be no form nor comclinefs in them : but it may forrow- 
 lully be fiiid, with nlpect to His inward appearance 
 the fecond time without fin unto falvation, that he 
 came to his own, but his own received him not ; yet 
 let us lemcmbcr for oux encouragement, that to as 
 many as did receive him, he gave powei to become 
 the fons of God. So that if we furrender ourfelvei 
 ns bands of the pottex, and our v. ills 
 
 to die refiners fii (hall, this way, be made living 
 
 rtakers <t t Chrift, being fools for 
 
 !.". lake, and, < ding to < ur meafw :mable 
 
 tth. This is an experience which clofes the 
 
 in aw. d reftrains the irn.i . m 
 
 ■ ich 
 
 our not lufnciently em- 
 
 g the excel] dim, w] led as
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 175 
 
 which, were covered with fnow in the latter end 
 of the fifth month, although the weather was 
 very hot with us. Thefe, with the fteep and cra,g- 
 gy rocks of Switzerland, and pines of various kinds 
 growing lpontaneoufly upon them, and forming 
 fhades and wildernefles, compofe a fcene in nature 
 truly magnificent ; indeed for fix hundred miles 
 back, the profpect of mountains fpread over with 
 vineyards, with the grandeur of the Rhine, flow- 
 ing below them, and its banks adorned with variety 
 and abundance of fruit trees in full bloffom, would 
 have afforded a fcene of pieafure to fpirits at liber- 
 ty for fuch enjoyment. But our hearts were on the 
 whole too fad to be captivated thereby •, a feed at- 
 tracted us in fympathy, which was not fo vifible, 
 nor had carried with it thefe fenfible delights ; and 
 for it, in part, we travailled in fpirit. We fpent 
 one day and ' two nights in Geneva, where being 
 informed that John Eliot and Ady Bellamy were 
 
 a lamb to the flaughter, and as a fheep dumb before 
 her fliearers. The fpirit of this world, in any of its 
 falfe refinements, cannot prefide here, neither can any 
 righteoulhefs of our own ; becaufe we humblingly fee 
 with the apoftle, that it is not for any of thefe works 
 which we have done, but of the mercy of Chrift, 
 that he faveth us, and by thofe means which he died 
 to obtain, even the walking of regeneration, and the 
 renewings of the Holy Ghoft. Fervently deiiring that 
 thy fineere mind may, through the humbling proceffes 
 of true fpiritual baptifm, be led, in the faith and pa- 
 tience, to the reft which is prepared for the children 
 of God. I remain in goipel love, 
 
 Thy Friend 
 
 S. G. 
 14
 
 i-6 Th e LIFE of 
 
 waiting for us at Lyons, we baited to them, 
 and found their Tied by sk's detention 
 
 in that town. We joined them, and became com- 
 f rtable ; and fpending one day to reft and be re- 
 frefhed there, took a boat, and rapidly poured 
 down the Rhine, one hundred and thirtj two miles 
 in feventeen hours, to a place called Pont St. Efprit, 
 from which we came to Nifmes and Congenies, the 
 2:d and 23d of the 5th month, having travelled 
 nine hundred and fifty miles from Amfterdam. It 
 now looks pleafant to think of being foon amongft 
 our friends, and a people to whom we may (peak 
 without an interpreter; for in that rclpect our fitua- 
 tion is a fort of exile, but greatly made up, by a 
 fecret fenfe, more often renewed to us than we 
 might have expected, that we are here in the ap- 
 pointment of Him who gracioufly regards the fpar- 
 rows, in that not one of them falls to the ground 
 without His permifB I 1 truly thefe innocent open 
 
 b arted people are of mOX< value than many fpar- 
 .•s. We entered Nifmes, with huh a peaceful 
 
 enity upon our fpirits, as portended the acquaint- 
 ance we have fince commenced with minds panting 
 alter the i of Shiloh, and the ftrengthenii 
 
 eels of true urs. We went next day to 
 
 C tgenies, about four leagues. Our arrival drew out 
 of their ha' pie in general; fome 
 
 looked at th afto ait, and other's with 
 
 counter.. n: 1 which put me in mind of Mary's 
 fell . Thefe foon acknowledged 
 
 , and drew us into the houfe of a 1 , \ .li- 
 
 able widow, wh were folemnly faluted and re- 
 
 ceived, and our minds melted together; and fucli
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 177 
 
 a ftream of gofpel love flowed, as fome of us 
 thought exceeded what we had before experienced, 
 though no words were ufed to exprefs it. "We ob- 
 tained lodgings at the houfe of a perfon not profef- 
 fing with them, with a view not unneceffarily to in- 
 terrupt them in their ufeful employments, and to 
 be at liberty ourfelves to go amongft them as there 
 appeared a fervice ; but we only lodged there one 
 night, and that with difficulty, their defire to have 
 us amongft them, and to render us their fervices in 
 their own way, was fo ftrong, that, after contending 
 the point, we gave way, and returned to the widow's, 
 where we were entertained with every thing of the 
 beft they could fupply. Our friends are moft of them 
 poor, induftricus people •, but we were favoured with 
 all that was needful, though thofe things we call fo 
 are fcarce, the country being generally overfpread 
 with vineyards, oliveyards, and mulberry-trees. It 
 can hardly be thought how comfortable we were : 
 peace of mind fweetens every inconvenience. We 
 found thefe people different from our fociety in 
 their outward appearance, and in their want of fet- 
 tlement, and fufficient quietude in their religious af- 
 femblies ; but the humility and fimplicity of their 
 meetings, attended with a lively confcioufhefs of 
 their own weaknefs, make them "ready to embrace 
 every offer of help, that is fuited to their capacity 
 and progrefs in the truth. There are a few of them, 
 amongft the younger fort particularly, who furnifh 
 a hope that there will be a fociety in this dark part 
 of the world, eftablifhed upon the right foundation; 
 We foon found, that to be ufeful to them, the 
 
 I 5
 
 I ' Tun LIFE of 
 
 visitors murt; be weak with the vifited, and in chr - 
 tian condefcenfion bear with them, till truth opened 
 
 loor of utterance to mew them a more excellent 
 Way. Their monthlv meeting w.ls Ik hi on fir it day. 
 wherein, of theii own accord, they laid open their 
 
 cipline, by reading their minutes or agreements 
 acceded to on their firft fetting up thefe meetings ; 
 
 ich, for c< ncy with their profefilon, are, in 
 
 general, fupcrior to our expectations. But it extends 
 nq farther than to a care over their poor, and one 
 another's moral conduct; they have no other tenets, 
 nor any teftimonies, recorded, by which they may 
 be diftinguiihed ; and our little band were not with- 
 out a guard, with refpeel to prop* n nrging 
 any thing to them, which they h. not, at prefent, 
 a capacity rightly to adopt and fupport. At Con- 
 genie. 1 ;, and in its neighbourhood, we (pent two . 
 weeks; vifited all their families; attended their 
 Pirnthly meeting; had a meeting fur conference 
 ■with the elder rank ; a youths meeting, and a very 
 fatisfaetory publi< meeting with the inhabitants ; and 
 
 ers folemn opportunities nnforefeen: .ill which 
 brought us into near fympathy with them, and often 
 deeply humbled and baptized our fpirits on their 
 account, as well as our own. Our parting was a 
 v i y affecting (me, but under a comfortable fenft 
 that t! ! v | [frael has them under His gra- 
 
 cious < n From Congenies we went to Giles's* 
 
 -i.< Ut tH miles, ■ h there ' W< n 
 
 v. ho prof - ' . , as they do 
 
 It ( : but thej do not appear fo much 
 
 in their ft to be 
 
 -. received us, however, with great
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 179 
 
 kindnefs, and were pleafed with the viiit, which. 
 perhaps may be profitable to fome beyond what 
 we can now fee. As without faith it is impoi- 
 fible to pleafe our all-wife Director, fo it is 
 impofiible to perfevere and hold to the end in 
 His fervice, and in the humiliations which tl»e 
 creature meets with in it, without this precious 
 ingredient, which is his own peculiar gift, and ii- 
 lences all fleihly reafonings. After having three 
 meetings at Giles's, we came to Nifmes, and there 
 took coach for Lyons, one hundred and fifty miles, 
 From that we travelled pofr, by way of Roane, 
 Fontainbleau, Paris, and Verfailles, to Alengon, 
 where we arrived the 2d of the 7th month, feveral 
 of us being weak and weary, after having travelled 
 near fix hundred miles from Nifmes. In our way 
 to Lyons, we paffed through Dauphine, where 
 fome of our minds were not infenfible of an at- 
 tractive influence : but having no certain informa- 
 tion of fome we had heard of there, and feveral 
 of our company ftrongly bending homewards, it 
 did not feem the time eafily to find them out. 
 
 Truly there is a hidden, precious feed fcattered up 
 and clown, not only in thefe parts, but in Holland 
 and Germany, meafureably gathered, both from 
 the fuperftitious, and the vain world ; and feeking 
 a foundation whereon they may reft the fole of their 
 feet. This appeared beyond all doubt, both from a 
 little knowledge which we obtained in thofe coun- 
 tries of fome, and from that moft fure word of 
 prophecy, which penetrates the obfeure recefTes of 
 Sion's travellers, and unites them all together in
 
 T hi J. I F E of 
 
 the ocean of gofpel love. At Alcncon, we were 
 affectionately received by John De Marfillac, and 
 courteoufly by his wife, who, through the whole of 
 our viiit there, which was three days, appeared to 
 enjoy the company of their \ilitors. Here we en- 
 deavoured to Ireih COUnfel about the way of 
 proceeding to England, which ended in the con- 
 clufion, of George and Sarah Diihvyn and John 
 De Marfillac going to the Ifland of Guernfey, to 
 vifit the few friends there; aud T. E. A. 13, 
 M. Dudley, my huiband, and myfclf, to London 
 directly, by way of Dieppe, which we purfued 
 accordingly, and arrived in London the 13th of 
 7th mo'njth 1788. 
 
 We have had a folitary and exercifing travel ; 
 but through infinite kindnefs, are again reitored 
 to our friends, and lb me of us to our native coun- 
 try. We attended the quarterly meeting of Lon- 
 don : the light of id many friends was new and 
 reviving to us; and the renewed evidence, that 
 
 ; Lord had been mercifully with US, that he 
 had led us about, and instructed us, ami tender- 
 ly pr< !- rved us when, in child-like hmplicity, we 
 depended upon his counfel, afforded, and (till af- 
 fords, abundant caufe to praile him for his mer- 
 cies pah, and humbly hope for more. 
 
 Thus, after a journey of more than two thoufand 
 
 r .-. red mile , attended with many difficulties, 
 
 : 1 Pes of body and mind, (he ua 
 
 t( nel, in the 8th 
 
 month 1788, under the comi 1 nfe of divine 
 
 favour and •• Son ts of her letters
 
 SARAH G R U B B. i3r 
 
 written after her return, on a retrofpect of this viiit, 
 appear to be worthy of infertion. 
 
 We have had, iince leaving York, many 
 
 new fcenes of trial, and new demonftration of provi- 
 dential care ; efpecially in the courfe of the long and 
 deeply proving journey which we undertook, in hope 
 that the Hand of Omnipotence led forth to the Con- 
 tinent. The ftate of mind in which I was involved 
 previous to it, the inexpreilible humiliations»and be- 
 fetments which attended the accomplilhment of it, 
 and fince that, the commemoration of unmerited 
 fupport, with the renewed difcovery of human frail- 
 ty, feem to change, in many refpects, the face of 
 this world to me. Not that I am redeemed from 
 the love of it ; but that I have learned to expect lefs 
 from it ; feeing more and more, that this is indeed 
 a probationary ftate of being, and that our fuffcrings 
 and joys in it are no otherwiie important, than as they 
 affect our attachment to the one great object of eter- 
 nal good, and our communion with it in the fllence 
 of all that is flefhly. 
 
 It is a joyous confederation, that the glo- 
 rious light of the goipel is emitted from the Sun of 
 Righteoufnefs ; and that, though inftruments may 
 be ufed to bear teftimony to it, yet that he, before 
 whom all nations are but as the drop of a bucket, . 
 the fmall duft of the balance, and who tak<;s up the 
 ifles as a very little thing, can, when they fail, do 
 his work without them, and " glorify the houfe 
 of his glory." I humblingly reflect upon our late 
 journey on the Continent, and am bound to ac~
 
 i?i The LIFE of 
 
 knowledge (however as an individual I have failed in 
 truly faying, " thy will be done") that the word of 
 the Lord is fahhfulnefa and truth. My niind is fet- 
 tled in a comfortable belief, that, through the creat- 
 ing and converting word of Omnipotence, the pure 
 1 of divine life was \ifited with greater efficacy, 
 than the difcouragements which we were under, al- 
 lowed us to know at that time. Lut ah, poor Am- 
 (terdam ! yea, poor Rotterdam ! and many, many 
 places on that fide the Continent, touching whofe 
 inhabitants my foul, at times, fings mournfully to its 
 well-beloved !
 
 SARAH GRUBB. -183 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 Her Concern refpeEling a Boarding School for female 
 Youth. — Vifit to Friends Families in Cork. — Jour- 
 ney to London. — Vifit to Dunkirk, FIcI/and, Pyr- 
 tnont, &c. — Her Return — and Deceafe. — Tejlimo- 
 tiies concerning her. 
 
 IT may now be proper to take fome notice of a 
 concern which had weightily engaged her atten- 
 tion, refpedting the propriety of opening a boarding- 
 fchool at Clonmel, for the religious care and educa- 
 tion of female youth. This fubjec"i had, for fome time, 
 been deeply pondered, both by herfelf and her huf- 
 band ; and had, at length, fo matured in their 
 minds, as to afford an evidence that it would be 
 right to let forward the work. 
 
 Their motives for this undertaking appear to be 
 purely difinterefted, and with the fingle view of pro- 
 moting a guarded and religious education of chil- 
 dren •, being themfelves in eafy circumftances, and 
 under no neceffity to purfue this employment, for 
 family fupport. 
 
 When we confider the fufceptibility of youth to 
 early impreffions, with the general permanency 
 thereof on their minds 5 and reflect that they are 
 foon to participate in the concerns of life, and will, 
 in a few years, be the principals on this fcage of be-
 
 1 34 The LIFE of 
 
 ing; we cannot but p i '.. five impor- 
 
 tance, both to individuals and the community, of an 
 early moral and religious education ; nor be furprif- 
 ed that this earned labourer for the cood of man- 
 kind, mould feel it her duty to cultivate this fure 
 ground of general reformation, and to encourage 
 others, upon pure principles, to engage in an em- 
 ployment fo truly honorable and productive of good. 
 
 Though under doubts and difcouragements of 
 mind, anting chiefly from the humble lenfe of her 
 own weaknefs, and want of qualifications for fo ar- 
 duous and important a fervice, flie was enabled to 
 open the propoied institution, the month after her 
 return from the Continent. 
 
 She was much concerned that the children com- 
 mitted to their care, might be preferred in inno- 
 cence, and trained in the paths of piety and virtue; 
 and when not called from home on religious fervice, 
 laboured faithfully in advancing fuch mcufures as 
 tended to promote the folid advantages of this inlii- 
 tution. 
 
 On the fubject of this fchool, there does not ap- 
 pear to be much remaining written by herfelf: a 
 few of her letters have, however, been collected, 
 
 expreifi ve of her tendernefs left flie might interfere 
 
 with other inftitutions ; and of her cautious fteppingS 
 in this concern ; with divers other inftruaivc fenti- 
 ments ; moft of which have been extracted, and are 
 as follows : 
 
 The profpc c~t of removing to Ireland in 
 
 line, continues to my mind very awful ; and un- 
 dertaking a matter of fo much coulecmcncc as the
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 185 
 
 propofed fchool, is not lefs fo : but if our friends 
 whofe judgments we efteem, feel uneafy with it, and 
 freely exprefs themlelves, it will rather be a relief 
 than a difappointment ; efpecially as we have no in- 
 tention of getting, or faving money by it to ourfelves. 
 If we are but favoured to lee the work of our day, 
 and found faithful in the performance of it, though 
 ever fo humbling to flefh and blood, I fometimes 
 think, it is all that I dellre. 
 
 — I don't like the thoughts of crowding new 
 
 inftitutions upon friends, impofing objects, or doing 
 any thing which has the remoteft appearance of op- 
 poling our own, or others' profpects, by dividing or 
 fcattering the little ftrength, which, if put together, 
 might prove no more than fufficient for one under- 
 taking at fir ft ; though afterwards, it might encreafe 
 for whatever further openings might be perceived in 
 the truth. 
 
 I have, at times, been much depreffed 
 
 with a fear of interfering with the fchool at Mount- 
 mellick, and difcouraging the valuable friends en- 
 gaged therein. I felt moil eafy to write them a few 
 lines, with a view, as I tell them, " to open a door 
 for a free communication of lentiments, reflecting 
 what we both have in view ;" expreffing my love and 
 efteem for them, and belief, that as both they and 
 we are difinterefted in our views, defirous of promot- 
 ing the fame caufe, and rightly directed, we fhall 
 move, either feparately or together, with a comfort- 
 able degree of unity and fympathy ; and requefting 
 their opennefs with me, in faying whether any thing 
 has occurred to them, on hearing of our plan, which
 
 i86" The LIFE of 
 
 would be any ftrength or encouragement to them, 
 and which i> in cur power to affords whether tins 
 wifh us to be united in our undertakings, or think 
 that two fchools will anfwer •, and Laftly, whether 
 
 tiuy do not think it will be better for them fteadily 
 to purfue their own profpccTs, till our houie is 
 opened, (if ever it fhould be) and then to ftand n - 
 figned, either to unite or keep feparate, as at that 
 time appears belt. So much feemed a little relief 
 to myfelf to fay, feeling great affection and ten- 
 dernefs towards them 5 at the fame time that my 
 own faith is nearly tried. I, however, feci a hope 
 as I am writing, that if our offering is not ac- 
 cepted, but proves like David's propofing to build 
 the houfe, that, neverthelefs, we fliall feel that fe-cret 
 fupporting language, " thou didlt well, in that it 
 was in thine heart, &c." 
 
 Doft thou not wonder at the undertaking 
 
 we have in view ? my dear R. G. has kindly con- 
 descended to make ample preparations for a board- 
 ing lchool for girls, and has built a conlulcrable 
 addition to our prelent dwelling ; which hands up- 
 on an ifland, in a navigable river called the Suir. 
 It is about a hundred vards acrofs, and near a 
 quarter of a mile long ; has on one fide of it, the 
 quay and town, and on the other, cultivated moun- 
 tains, which feem almoft to hang^ over it. The 
 profpec'i from the front of the houf< , is through 
 the garden and (hire, to the river and vail 
 
 ami is terminated by a very high and n ; ;ed 
 mountain, feveral miles diftant. The place is a'- 
 together very commodious, and pleafant for the
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 187 
 
 intended purpofe •, but how we fhall meet with 
 fuitable, difinterefted* perfons for undertaking the 
 immediate care of the children, &c. is not clear ; 
 a hope however cheers us, that if our view? are 
 right, and deferving a bleffing, all tilings need- 
 ful will be afforded us in the needful time. I 
 fhould like to have fuch, for almoft every ftation 
 in the family, as poflefs a iincere concern for the 
 profperity of the work, and find a dedication in 
 their own hearts to it ; being afraid of drawing 
 any, merely to gratify ourfelves, that have not 
 fome fuch foundation to fupport them in feafons 
 of trial, which, generally, more or lefs, attend the 
 moft upright and difinterefted defigns. 
 
 I have had a very low dull time of late 
 
 about this undertaking, from a fear that we fhall 
 not be found equal to it. I don't mean, in the 
 fight of men, for probably we could not pleafe 
 all, let us do ever fo well ; but I mean in the 
 fight of Him whofe bleffing is more craved and 
 panted after, than the moft fpecious appearances 
 it can wear. 
 
 Having formerly mentioned the dif- 
 
 couragements of my mind in the fetting out of the 
 fchool we are engaged in, it is but juft alfo to fay, 
 that things reflecting it now wear a pleafanter af. 
 pedT:-, with a hope that that which was fown in 
 weaknefs, feems, through divine help, (for to that 
 only it can be attributed) riling into greater 
 ftrength. The minds of fome of our precious 
 charge are evidently encreafing in verdure, by the 
 dew of heaven •, and, in the general, innocence is
 
 1 88 The L I F E of 
 
 to be felt from the influence of their fpii 
 Our helpers alio grow (we hope) in the root of 
 true religion. Indeed, did the world, or our re- 
 ligious and civil com. :th its inhabitants, fj 
 
 no more trouble to us than what we find upon 
 our little ifland, it would be too great a ltute of 
 profperity for human nature profitably to be in- 
 dulged with i for even that calls for a watchfulnefs 
 and induftrv, which the fiefh is at enmitv with, 
 and which I fear being found wanting in. To 
 feel an evidence that we are under the care and 
 blefllng of the Shepherd and Biihop of fouls, af- 
 ter conflicting doubtings refpecling it, is fuch a 
 cordial as reanimates the foul to fight the good 
 fight of faith, and to lay hold on eternal life. In 
 fealons of favour this has been the cafe ; but it 
 is hard to lay down all thefe precious gifts, ftill 
 to walk as the mafter walked, to teltify, by our 
 dedication, that we believe he came to fave iin- 
 ners, and, as to the means v - his glorious 
 
 work is promoted, to lay, " not my will, but 
 thine be done." 
 
 In the 12th month 1788, fhe engaged, with 
 other friends, in a viiit to the meetings and families 
 of friends in the city of Cork : and during her em- 
 ployment in that fervice, the following letters ap- 
 pear to have been written. Though they do not 
 exprefs much account of the viiit, yet they may be 
 acceptable, from the inftru&ive remarks they con- 
 , and the weighty and concerned fpirlt which 
 they manifcl't under this engagement.
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 189 
 
 We have been fteadily engaged with fit- 
 ting in four families a day; and though we often 
 feem ready to give up, and feel like imprifoned fpi- 
 rits, yet, upon the whole, we have no juft caufe to 
 be diicouraged ; beft help being near to ftrengthen 
 us with might in our inner man, or fuch a propor- 
 tion of it as is neceffary for the performance of, and 
 perfeverance in, the work of the prefent day. As 
 doing the will of our heavenly Father, is the only 
 thing really worth living for, I wifh to confider it 
 as an unmerited favour, to know what that will is, 
 and to be furnifhed with any degree of capacity to 
 do it. 
 
 The feafon of the year, the clofenefs of 
 
 the city, and the complicated occafions of hea- 
 vinefs and depreffion, in the view of the ftate of 
 things here, all contribute to fuffering both of body 
 and mind ; fo that were Ave clear of unprofkably 
 adding thereto, we do not lack a pretty full cup 
 thereof. Indeed we have no bufmefs to feek for a 
 portion or baptifm, differing in nature from that 
 which the great Pattern himfelf fubmitted to, and 
 which the true feed here and elfewhere, have ftill, 
 for wife purpofes to experience. 
 
 Whether any good may come of our la- 
 bour and travel here, muft be left : it is the bleffing 
 only which can render this, and every other endea- 
 vour of the poor fervants, effectual to the building 
 up of any drooping member in the moft holy faith. 
 My foul has in the courfe of our vifit to the families 
 of friends in this city, pafTed by the gates of death. 
 But the deceitfulnefs of my own heart is fuch, that
 
 i oo The LIFE of 
 
 it cannot bo removed by pleafant things ; nor docs 
 fitnefs for the little fervices we are engaged in, 
 fpring out of the moil fcnfible and gratifying opera- 
 tions of the fpirit ; but out of thefe unfearchable 
 b ptiims, which, neverthelefsj demonftrate they are 
 of the Holy Ghofl and lire, beraufe they have an 
 empty temple, a temple ready to be filled with the 
 prefence wherein there is life. According to my 
 (mall knowledge of good, I may afTert that, after all, 
 the joy of the Lord is our itrength ; and were it not 
 that, in the beginning of this viiit, my fpirit hail 
 been fweetly confolated therewith, I very much 
 doubt whether, from many of my feelings and deep 
 provings tince, I ihould have held out till now : 
 peradventure it polTeffed fome of that facred efii( acy, 
 which Elijah's forty days fuitenance i^ diftinguilhed 
 for, and thereby, to the praife of that grace, by 
 which I am what I am, my confidence has not whol- 
 ly failed me in the deeps. — All that i.-. within me 
 prays, that as we have been mercifully firengthened 
 to drink, in this place, a bitter cup, we may not, in 
 our own v ills, refufe any dregs which in infinite 
 wifdom are intended, in part, to conftitute the cup 
 ol falvation. But the ileili is weak ! A few have re- 
 \ ifed us, and whether their hearts will relent, is yet 
 to try. We cannot however but fympathize with a 
 tried, afflicted remnant in this meeting, whofe hands 
 I do believe, will grow ftronger and ftronger, be 
 more and more inftructed to war, ami their I. 
 to ■: ;lit ; for however the boafters over the pure 
 
 lowly K d may exalt themfelves, yet they cannot 
 ftand in the day of judgment, nor prevent the ful-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 191 
 
 filling of the promife, that the law fhall be magni- 
 fied and made honourable. I concluded to ftay 
 third day meeting 5 and though, as is often my lot, 
 fpeaking to men did not relieve my inward oppref- 
 fion, yet in profiration before the almighty Helper, 
 who in abundant mercy is touched with a feeling of 
 our infirmities, there was a fecret iuftaining evidence, 
 of living again in His prefence, whereby thofe bones 
 that were broken did rejoice. Thus are the poor of 
 the flock helped in their extremities, and encou- 
 raged to maintain their confidence in the omni- 
 potent gathering arm of Ilrael's Shepherd. 
 
 May we not be afraid of fuffering ; for 
 
 in this land however, they that dwell with the 
 feed, muft dwell in a low ipot, and give up their 
 names to reproach. " If ye were of the world, 
 the world would love you, but becaule ye are not 
 of the world, the world hates you : it hated me 
 before it hated you." To be of this happy, though 
 afflidted number, is more to be defired than to 
 join ourfelves in affinity with a fpirit which, in- 
 ftead of fuffering with the feed, wars againft it, 
 in the wrath and cruelty of the king of the locufts 
 which came out of the pit ; a fpirit that cannot 
 ftand in the day of judgment, but which being 
 airy and unfettled, leads from the quiet habita- 
 tion, and leaves the mind without a flay. How 
 excellent, yea how much to be defired, is that 
 fhate wherein, through holy chaftifement and fuf- 
 fering for the feed's fake, that precious feal of 
 adoption, the language of Abba Father, is feel- 
 ingly obtained and breathed ! This is indeed a
 
 it; 2 The L IF E 
 
 Something in ourfelves wherein we can , an 
 
 unmerited gift whi< h ezi tudes all boalting, a 
 prefervative from moving in the line of others' 
 experience, further than it is made our own, or 
 from having our n j in them. Were the 
 
 active members of cur fociety, more rally and 
 
 individually gathered to this deep inward feeling 
 of the life of truth, and the evidence of its opera- 
 tions in themfeives, how much more effectual 
 would their labours be, in building up one ano- 
 ther in the molt holy faith? I am afraid for 
 (elf; I long to be more truly weighty in my 
 own ipirit; not to alf'ume a confequence amongft 
 men, or to plume myfelf with borrowed feathers j 
 but really to be preferred in company with the 
 feed, and through its operations, to live, move, 
 jnd have my being, in the church clpecially. A 
 ferjes of deep excrcilo has fallen to my lot, on 
 account of the law and teftimony of truth in this 
 province, and near fympathy with fome who dare 
 not let it fall to the ground, without di&overing 
 themfelve , and on whofe fide they are. Thefe 
 find it to be of trial, of perplexity, and of 
 
 ling down; and th< n an lo few, even arooi 
 the well minded, who are fkilful either in lamen- 
 
 tation, ( r in war, that the work lies heavy on a 
 
 few; and fometimes I am afraid, that the oint- 
 ment made after the art of the apd .iy, gets 
 ntlj tinctured by the <.\<..n\ Hies (th< un- 
 
 quickencd efforts for the caufe) being tail into 
 it. 

 
 SARAH G R U B B. 193 
 
 Though I often find it my duty to wafh 
 
 and anoint, rather than appear to men to faft, 
 yet the fecret travail of my foul is forrowful, 
 and befet with many difcouragements unknown but 
 to itfelf, and its almighty Helper ; and I find, that 
 the more deep and hidden my exercifcs are, and the 
 more I feek for ftrength to unite myfelf, in a cove- 
 nant never to be broken, with the Beloved of my 
 foul ; the more I am capable to diftinguifh the con- 
 folations of the Spirit, the pure unerring Spirit, 
 from every inferior or corrupt iburce of gratifica- 
 tion to the natural fenfes. I know my experience 
 of this is but very fmall, and yet, as far as I have 
 attained, I have abundant caufe to admire the wif- 
 dorn there is in the paths of true abafednefs and 
 felf-denial ; yea, the fovtrefs they lead to, and the 
 fafety there is in them. 
 
 Never are we favoured with a clearer perception 
 of our religious duty, in little as avcII as greater 
 things, than when our fpiritual eye has been pur- 
 ged, by the miniftration of fome baptifni that has 
 afflicYingly removed every film of felf-love ; which 
 difcovers itfelf by an over-attention to our own 
 reputation, to the eafe of the fiefh, and a defire 
 for pleafant things in fpirituals as well as temporals. 
 Ah ! mav we think nothing too near or too dear to 
 part with, for the fecret acceptance of the Belov- 
 ed! The very putting fjrth of his hand, as through 
 the hole of the door, little as the intimation may 
 feem, is a powerful call to admit him in the way of 
 his coming, however it may oppofe our own way. 
 
 K
 
 >94 T h e L I F E o f 
 
 She attended the half year's national meeting at 
 Dublin in the 5th month 1739-, and from thence 
 went to York, where fhe made her relations and 
 friends a fhort vifit, and proceeded pretty directly 
 for the yearly meeting at London •, which fhe at- 
 tended, and returned home with an evidence, that, 
 in this journey, lhe had been occupied in her pro- 
 per place. This is agreeably teftihed by the follow- 
 ing letter, which is the only one that has appealed 
 on this occafion. 
 
 Our little fiock looks pleafant and healthy. 
 
 Our joy was mutual at meeting yefterday, and home 
 is felt by us to be a pe'accful retreat. In a little 
 fitting which we had at home in the evening, there 
 feemed fome ability to lie down as bcfiJe the fti'l 
 waters ; a confoling experience : and on looking 
 back upon our late journey, though there was no 
 great profeffed draft to it, a hope arifes, that, con- 
 fident with our religious duty, we were going on 
 with the work of the day. 
 
 In the latter part of the year 1709, lhe felt her 
 mind drawn to have fome public meetings in divers 
 places, where none of our fociety dwell, particu- 
 larly at the town and garrifon of Kinlale ; where, 
 as well as at other places, thefe Cervices tended to 
 open, and fpread the knowledge of the truth. 
 Concerning her vifit to the above-mentioned place, 
 (he writes thus : 
 
 — In much fear, and I truft humiliation of fpirit, 
 I have been to the town of Kinfale, and fullered to 
 have app Q >h an apprehenfion of duty, 
 
 a public U was large, nearly as
 
 SARAH G R U B B. i 95 
 
 much fo as the houfe belonging to the fociety would 
 admit. There appeared to be about two hundred 
 people, who generally behaved with decency and 
 folidity, and the meeting was owned with the ga- 
 thering influence of Ifrael's Shepherd ; which, in 
 time of filence, was I thought comfortably experi- 
 enced. We alfo paid a vifit to the fort, and par- 
 ticularly to a large company of deferters, who are 
 collected there for tranfportation, many of them 
 good looking young men ; and I alfo ventured to 
 remind fome of the ofikers, of their religious and 
 civil duties. It was altogether a fervice much in the 
 crofs, and deferving of no reward, for want of time- 
 ly reiignation to it : but, in unmerited mercy, I 
 was favoured with a peaceful calm, which my be- 
 loved companions alio enjoyed, and earned with ho- 
 neft labour. 
 
 She was, indeed, much concerned, and laboured 
 in her meafure, for the propagation of that holy 
 principle, which is the light, and life of men ; and 
 fhe counted nothing too dear to give up, or part 
 with, for the promotion of this pure word in their 
 hearts. A renewed evidence of this appears, in a 
 frefh inftance of dedication to a very trying and 
 arduous fervice. During her late travels on the 
 Continent, her mind had often fympathized in fe- 
 cret, and been united in gofpei love, with a precious 
 feed fcattered up and down in thofe parts ; but 
 which, it feemed not then the appointed feafon, to 
 vifit in perfon. This time now approached, and, 
 as £he apprehended, in the openings of divine wif- 
 
 K 2
 
 1^6 The LIFE ui 
 
 dom ; fo that fhe believed it her indifpenfable duty, 
 to give herfelf up, in pure refignation, to this fer- 
 vice ; which appeared in her view, to comprehend 
 .i vifit to Dunkirk, Holland, Pyrmont, and fo 
 other parts of Gennanv. Under the weight of this 
 important concern, fhe experienced the near fym- 
 pathy of friends of the monthly and quarterly 
 meetings to which fhe belonged, with thole of the 
 national meeting in Dublin, and yeai \ * 
 
 ing in London ; who concurred in teftimoniais of 
 their unity and approbation. Thus ftrcngthened 
 by the feelings and concurrence of the church, 
 and by a fimilar concern of her friend Geor 
 Dillwyn, fhe fet forward to engage in the work 
 before them, in the 6th month 1790; accompanied 
 alfo by her hufband and Sarah Dillwyn, who felt 
 their minds engaged to enter with them on this 
 journey. 
 
 Her letters written under the \ r PpecT: of this vi- 
 fit, during the progrefs of it, and upon it;, conclu- 
 
 cn, in general, fo regular and 
 nnected an I trther ap- 
 
 pc. ry, than to lay the ». 
 
 before the reader. 
 
 . 1790. 1 feem \:ry Like one vi.o hath 
 no reiting on earth, or an] coj lati h 
 
 in which 1 dare to truii ; but if i in found wort! 
 in the finalleit degree, to referable great aj 
 
 holy 1 profeflion, it is U. 
 
 to the performance of great works, 1 look nut 
 for it ; my mind is taught to believe that I have 
 bo right thereto, or reafon to expeel thai an m-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 197 
 
 ftrument fo feeble, and fo little a time in ufe, is 
 likely to be owned, in any extraordinary degree, in 
 the difcharge of my (mail part of the great work. 
 But my fpirit hath often been dipt into fympathy 
 mexpreiTible, with a feed in thofe parts, of which 
 I have not yet attained the outward difcovery, and 
 peradventure, this fecond vilit may prove like flfh- 
 ing, and catching nothing. This I deiire to leave, 
 and to attain to a daily and fimple reliance upon 
 unerring direction, which the creature knows muil 
 be attended with a dying daily. 
 
 2d month 1790. We iland in need of care, both 
 of our own, and that of our friends j our endea- 
 vours for peace being, in many refpects, in a line 
 rather new and important, and in which we deiire 
 to be preferved from moving further, than the 
 good Shepherd leads and goes before. — It has not 
 been without a portion of deep exercife, and fre- 
 quent baptifrns, known only to the Searcher of 
 hearts, that I have obtained fo much ftrenglh as to 
 caft my burden for a time upon the church j and 
 fince they have taken it, and I believe fome of them 
 felt it, my relief has, beyond my expectation, been 
 cfFedted. — But this is temporary. I know, in a fpi- 
 ritual fenfe at leaft, that bonds and afflictions await 
 me ; yet with thankfulnefs may acknowledge that, 
 feeling the everlafting arms to be underneath, none 
 of thefe things at prefent move me. — My capacity 
 to promote the work of righteoufnefs on the earth, 
 is very fmall ; but according to that capacity, 1 
 long to be found faithful, not counting my life dear 
 
 K 3
 
 J9* Tin, LIFE or- 
 
 unto myfelf.— I have not heard of any c ompanion in 
 the little fervices before me, nor do [feci .my anxiety 
 on that head •, believing that, if the concern is right, 
 iuitable fellow labourers will be provided, without 
 any toiling interference of mine. 
 
 3d month 1790. May my mind be prcferved in 
 ftability to the end : for that I both watch -nd 
 , well knowing that when I lufe that, it muft 
 be diftinguifhed mercy indeed, that preferves my 
 poor little veffel from total wreck. As a very hard 
 gale of even fair wind may occaiion great danger, 
 fo I perceive that the urgency I feel, at times, in 
 my fpirit, to do the Matter's apprehended will, may 
 render fruflrate the gracious defign, if ballaft be 
 not on board. I never felt my mind fo fenfibly fuf- 
 tained in the profpedt of any journey before. I 
 efteem it an unmerited mark of the great Shepherd's 
 condefcending care, who hath, blelTed be his Name, 
 richly replenilhed my foul with faith, and fo abun- 
 dantly miniftered its tiller virtue, patience, that my 
 frail tabernacle being at times overcome, the lan- 
 guage of my heart is fimilar to that of the Spouie ; 
 M Stay me with flaggons, comfort me with apples, 
 for I am fick of love." 
 
 This is a dilpenfation which I do not expect to 
 continue ; for when a tcltimony of this love is called 
 for, when difficulties are to be encountered, both 
 within and without, when v. to be offered up 
 
 a licritice in the fervid of the chriftian faith, 
 oh how inconftant is the human heart ! how many 
 
 fnbftitutei for obedience, how 1 ... • 
 
 does it lind ! Remembering thefe things, the worm- 
 
 1
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 199 
 
 wood and the gall, yea the anguifhing exerclfes at- 
 tendant on our late journey, my heart is humbled 
 within me, and preferved from expecting the journey 
 in profpect to be unmixed with fimilar trials ; or 
 even to fee in it, gratifying demonftrations of that 
 glorious work, which, in gofpel virion, is beheld to 
 be begun in the German Empire, and many other 
 parts of the globe lefs known to us. On any pre- 
 fumption of this fort, I have not dared to take one 
 ftep ; but have much defired that my fpirit may be 
 deep enough, according to my meafure, to fuffer 
 and rejoice only with the pure feed, whether ob- 
 vioufly the fig-tree blofTom, and fruit be on the 
 vine, or not. 
 
 On fecond day morning, at the yearly 
 
 meeting of minifters and elders held in London the 
 17th of the 5th month, cur certificates were read; 
 which, far beyond what I durft have looked for, 
 created expreffions of gofpel unity and church en- 
 couragement, that were not entirely unfeafonable to 
 my mind ; feeling myfelf as poor as feemed poflibie 
 for fpiritual exiftence. But what alfo greatly con- 
 tributed to lift up my head' above the overflowing 
 billows, and fay to the winds and the waves, " Be 
 ftill," was the indifputable evidence, that the Maf- 
 ter had feparated for a fimilar work, my beloved, 
 friend, George Diilwyn ; under which his oppreffed. 
 mind was conftrained publicly to acknowledge, to 
 his own and others relief, that he believed it to 
 be his duty to go with us. How precious is that 
 help, which is difpenfed in better wifdom than our 
 
 K 4
 
 T h e L [ F E 
 
 n ! and being the fruit of mercy, it is often re- 
 r the momi tit of exti . It \ 
 
 folcmn uniting feaforj ;, the fpirit and the 1 le (the 
 lurch) .:. to unite in the fam< lan- 
 
 guage of encour; at. I greatly deure a heart 
 
 capable of humbly and reverently returnin 
 able obedience for thefe favours, in the few feeble 
 fteppings through my future pilgrimage. Trials I 
 have learned to expert, having a difpofnion that 
 will not fuffer me to be exempt, till it becomes loft 
 in the ocean of gofpel love. In ourfelves, as in the 
 world, there is trouble ; oh that our acquaintance 
 may become more and more intimate with Him, in 
 whom is the fulnefs ot undefiled peace ! Then may 
 (..ice in every tribulation, which has urged us 
 to lay hold on eternal fubitancc. No female com- 
 panion appearing, our former valuable fellow tra- 
 veller, Sarah Dillwyn, was naturally looked to, and 
 no obstructions occurring, Ratcli'V; monthly meet- 
 ing (of which (lie is a member) cordially tcftiiicd its 
 til therewith, and granted her a certificate. 
 Thus we four being banded, hft London fjofhua 
 Be ping us; on the feventh day after 
 
 arly m eting. There we met with many 
 :e bone of our bone, and flefli of our flefli ; 
 I hav< fume of us at times felt, as 
 fully to c us that it was the work of Loth 
 
 ce and nature •, the latter of which, in our many 
 
 I trufl to be more aid more 
 
 full irt, der its will to the divine will, 
 
 ich indeed o iny bitter cups, and 
 
 amen to every requiring of
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 201 
 
 truth. Without this experience, how are we like 
 bullocks unaccuflomed to the yoke ! The yearly 
 meeting was large, and fatisfaclory in a good degree j 
 but fuch afTemblies, compofed of minds Co various, 
 have generally a considerable portion of exercife 
 and weight for the feeling part of its members ; and 
 it is an unfpeakable favour that there are fuch pre- 
 ferved in the church, whofe fpiritual faculties are 
 fo alive, that, like watchers on the walls of Zion, 
 they can give an alarm at the new and various at- 
 tacks, which our common and unwearied enemy 
 is making upon truth's ramparts : and it is alfo a 
 diftinguiihable mercy in our poor fociety, that there 
 are, amongft the younger part of it, fuch as, by 
 the livelinefs and faithfulnefs of their fpirits, pro- 
 mife a fucceffion of ftandard bearers* 
 
 We were at Rochefter on firft day, at the 
 monthly meeting at Canterbury on third, and got 
 to Dover that evening ; from whence we failed next 
 day for Dunkirk, and had a fine, but flow pafTage, 
 being on the water iixteen hours. Here we found 
 John De Marfillac waiting for us ; and Jofhua Beale, 
 alio uniting himfelf to us, we became fix in num- 
 ber. The day we arrived, was their week daw 
 meeting •, and it may with thankfulnefs be acknow- 
 ledged, that it was mercifully owned with divine 
 refreshment, and the communication of counltl 
 from the living ipring thereof. And what tended 
 to heighten our joy, on fitting down with the 
 friends here, was the fcene which we had beheld 
 juil before. What they call the hoft was carried 
 
 K 5
 
 202 Tkh LIFE Of 
 
 about, with fuch a procefSon of the army, . 
 poration, clergy, and little childn n, as I never 
 law before, or could have fuppofed ; there being 
 many thoufands both of people, and images ol 
 filver, pewter, and wood; hundreds of candles 
 near iix feet long ; abundance of rich fdk ami 
 other vefhnents; barefooted and ihaven beaded 
 friars-, mulic, drums, &c. cannon firing, and bells 
 ringing. So that, after all this ftir, to fit down 
 with our friends, under our own vines and fig-trees, 
 and meafurably to partake of fulut antral food, was 
 truly joyous ; and more efpecially fo, under the 
 belief that the one fhall decreafe, and the other 
 encreafe. We fpent a full week at Dunkirk, to a 
 good degree of fatisfae'tion, perceiving the Weffihg 
 that thofe new fetrlers may be in that land, 
 and at this important juncture, if they wifely 
 keep to, and are gracioully kept by, the preferv- 
 ing, unchangeable principle of truth. They are at 
 prefent worth viiiting, and their number is likely 
 foon to be encreafed from Nantucket. 
 
 After having four public meetings in Dun- 
 kirk ; (at all which divers not of our focicty at- 
 tended) and feveral private ones, we proceeded to 
 Offend, (B. R. going with us) here wc ("pent a 
 day to fali.sfaetion, finding a man ami his wife 
 from London belonging to the fociety, who had 
 not fctn any reputable friends for feven or eight 
 year.-,. Though they had the marks of being, in 
 fnmc degree, robbed and fpoiled, yet there was 
 alio fomething in them to vilit, and which accepted
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 203 
 
 the teftimony of truth, as far as related to them- 
 felves. Divers books were alfo fcattered, and not 
 without a hope that the bleffing accompanied fome 
 of them ; for even in this little fervice, there is a 
 great difference in our feelings. It is often like 
 cafting bread upon the waters, and, fometimes, 
 without hope of return in any day or age. From 
 Offend we continued our courfe along the coaft, 
 by way of Bruges, Flufhing, and Middleburgh 5 at 
 the two latter of which, we folemnly paufed, and al- 
 fo expofed ourfelves to the obfervation and acquaint- 
 ance of the people ; intimating to fome our errand, 
 and making enquiry for fuch as were feeking the 
 truth. With fome fmall exception, they appeared 
 to be in their ffrong holds, and fenced cities, in- 
 tent upon thjs world's gain, which is, with too 
 much propriety, called their god. However, a few 
 books were left among them ; and finding the fon 
 of a friend at Middleburgh, we had an opportu- 
 nity of religious retirement with him, and of drop- 
 ping fuch counfel as opened therein. He appear- 
 ed, by his acknowledgement and attention to us^ 
 to accept the vifit kindly ; but his fituation is ex- 
 ceedingly unfafe. From Middleburgh we went to 
 a little port, called Campveer, and there hired a 
 veffel to take us to Rotterdam. We had a very 
 pleafant paiTage, our minds being favoured with 
 much tranquillity ; and after a thirty hours fail, 
 arrived at our port, the 1 8th of the 6th month % 
 where, as we expected, we entered into a frefh 
 trial of fidelity to the precious caufe. Here y%§
 
 204 The LIF E e f 
 
 ftaid three days, vifited fomc former acquaintances, 
 
 who were very kind ■, and commenced new ones 
 with fuch as Teemed to underftand how to receive 
 difciples, to the name of difciples. To one or two 
 of this elafs, our minds v. : particularly uni 
 Being there on a frit day, wc had two pi 
 meetings, both considerably attended, bur efpei 
 ly the latter, which was alfo a truly folemn and 
 profitable opportunity. Between Dunkirk and Rot- 
 terdam, ue had divers opportunities of difi 
 nating the knowledge of tbe principle of ti 
 by the difrribution of books, and fome confer- 
 ences in a private way ; but had no public meet- 
 ing, though our minds were, in feveral pliers, 
 brought under a confiderable weight of exercife ; 
 which fecmed to anfwer no more end, than the 
 people's walking round -the walls of Jericho *, and 
 were it not that we are convinced, tven from 
 outward obfervation, that the Lord is at work in 
 the kingdoms of men, and making a way for his 
 own feud, we might conclude, that the fortifica- 
 tions which this world's fpirit hath erected, par- 
 ticularly in Holland, will hardly ever be taken 
 down. Wc went pretty directly from Rotterdam 
 to Amfterdam, where we had our (hare of 1"< 
 dippings and difcouragements ; but not expecting 
 great things in our Petting out, or defiring to be 
 borne Dp above a feeling of what wc are, and 
 the oppreffion and obfeurity of the true iced, wc 
 are the left expofed to a fpirit of difmay; and 
 ( >, in Simplicity, to fit down toge«
 
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 205 
 
 ther, profefiTedly to wait for the guidance of truth, 
 or a difcovery that the cloud refts upon the ta- 
 bernacle. In theie feafons, we have been ftrength- 
 ened, and cemented in befl unity, and alfo en- 
 couraged to hold on in a path to be trodden more 
 by faith, than fight. 
 
 In the public meetings, of which we have at- 
 tended three, we experienced painful exercife •, and 
 yet I thought on firft day, that both the fittings 
 ■were, upon the whole, folid and lively. We re- 
 ceived accounts of our brother, Joleph Grubb be- 
 ing in a very declining ftate of health, which had 
 made its appearance before we left home ; and 
 being in partnership with rny Robert Grubb, and 
 the care of bulinefs forbidden to my brother, my 
 hufband thought it his duty to offer him all the 
 relief he could ; a tranquil mind refpecting outward 
 things, being of unfpeakable confequence to the 
 latter part of a man's life : this, without any anx- 
 iety about our own property, and a prefentiment be- 
 fore we left home, that he would hardly go 
 through the journey, induced us, though much 
 in the crofs, to feparate. We were detained at 
 Amsterdam longer than we expected ; one occafi- 
 on of which was the printing of fome extracts from 
 Hugh Turford's writings, with an addition from 
 Mary Brook on filent waiting, which fome of 
 our company tranflated into French. It contains 
 very fuitable matter for the prefent age, and is an 
 acceptable publication to J. M. and B. R. to 
 diftribute in France, and alfo convenient to us in
 
 zo6 T he LIFE of 
 
 this journey, as ni.uiy underftand French. We 
 have a large ftock of other books, very eligible 
 for our purpofe, which the meeting for fufferings 
 has given us for diftribution. The 6th of the 7th 
 month, we came to Utrecht, where J. M. bung ten- 
 der took cold, and was confined next day to the 
 houfe *, and as he did not ail a great deal, it fuit- 
 ed our plan of fpending one day quietly together, 
 before we parted, he and B. R. having conclud- 
 ed to go from hence to Dunkirk, and J. M. from 
 that place to his home. This has been a trial to 
 us, but knowing J. M's attention to beft direction, 
 and alfo his defire, if right, of keeping with us, 
 we dared not to pcrfuade him to fuit our incli- 
 nations and convenience ; and therefore, after en- 
 joying each others company, in fwect fellowfhip 
 and tendernefs of fpirit, we parted ; our little 
 band then conhfting of George 2nd Sarah Dillwyn, 
 J. B. and myfelf, with the moft arduous part of 
 the journey in profpect. Perhaps this ftripping of 
 outward help is wifely difpenfed to us : in that 
 light we view it, and dare not difpute divine fuf- 
 ficiency. Soon after our friends were gone, we 
 concluded to pay a viiit to a family of Amftcr- 
 dam, (with which we were acquainted when there 
 before) who now n.lide at their country houfe 
 about half way - from that city to Utrecht ; and 
 accordingly let off, and arrived about live, and 
 were re< eived more like near relations united on 
 tin- beft ground, than as people of another nation 
 and profeflion. "We aNb met here two women of
 
 SARAH G R U B B, 207 
 
 considerable account on a. viiit ; to one of th.en> 
 particularly, our minds were nearly drawn, and 
 the little inftruction which was in our power to. 
 communicate, from the exercife of our minds, 
 broken French, and the ufe of the fcriptures, to 
 particular paffages of which we directed them as 
 they occurred, was received with a religious fenfi- 
 bility, which greatly united us together, and which 
 words cannot fully fet forth *. Though we often 
 
 * Some time afterwards, fhe wrote the following 
 letter to one of the women of that family. Remem- 
 bering thy requeft to hear from our little company when 
 we returned from Germany, and being now lb near 
 you, I felt an inclination to tell thee, and thy valuable 
 brother and filler, that, through the merciful direction 
 and care of providence, we have got along to a good 
 degree of fatisfaction, and been favoured, upon the 
 whole, with a moderate (hare of health. We purfued 
 our journey from Utrecht, by way of Arnheim and 
 Munftcr, to Pyrmont ; there we ftaid two weeks, and 
 then went to Rinteln, Minden, Ofhabruck, and Bile- 
 feld, and fo, by way of Munfter, to Crevelt, Dulleldorf, 
 Mulheim on the Rhine, Elberfelt, and from thence to 
 Cleves. We found a few in many of thefe places, who, 
 being weary of the ceremonial part of religion, are de- 
 firing its living fubftance, and to be true wcrlhippers 
 in fpirit. Thefe have many difficulties from within and 
 without ; but if they depend, fingly, upon divine help, 
 and ceafe to recommend themfelves by their own dead 
 works, we have a hope, that they will gradually retire 
 from the confufion of the carnal mind, to the true 
 iheepfold. Were the profeflbrs of chriitianity more ge- 
 nerally acquainted with the undented reft, which the 
 redeemed mind is ftrengthened to gather to, they would 
 detect; the fallacy of unfanclified forms and miniftry, 
 and rejoicingly receive the eternal Witnefs for God
 
 238 T he LIFE of 
 
 lament our ignorance of the language of this 
 people, and its attendant inconveniencies, yet I 
 v.. is never more convinced of the influence of 
 truth qualifying to fpeak to one another in our 
 Own tongues, though utterly incapable in any other 
 language, than that of the fpirit ; for in the pre- 
 fent cafe, we were not fenlible of either us, or 
 the caufe, fuffering under our apparent diladvan- 
 tages. We cannot always judge why we are lb 
 led, and why i'o deftitute of fome outward accom- 
 modations to the fervicc, which human prudence 
 would naturally point out ; but I may acknowledge 
 that, on this account, I never was more content- 
 ed and fupported in an humble truft, that the 
 good and Almighty Hand is with us in ° thefe 
 mortifying labours." We left Utrecht on feventh 
 day morning, and came to Wageninge, which is 
 an agreeable little town. The inhabitants were 
 greatly furprifed at feeing us, but became uncom- 
 monly civil and courteous ; in part owing to a 
 man who drove us from Utrecht, who by fome 
 means, unknown to us, conceived lb favourable an 
 
 in thcmfelves, for their Lawgiver, Friend, and Com- 
 forter. 
 
 We reflect with I on OUT vifit to ?diddle- 
 
 waart; not only in remembrance of your affectionate 
 hofpitality, but alio of the ani tue oi truth u 
 
 our minds which left a | favour after wc ; 
 
 rated; and now reviving, with renewed defire for all 
 our pre! n, and iucr 
 
 herd > f bis (beep, 1 falute thee, d 
 in utterly affection. 
 
 G.
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 209 
 
 ©pinion of us, and fcemed furniflied -with fuch 
 materials for defcription, that wherever we ftopt, 
 he was fure to influence the people in our favour, 
 and they united in tcftimonies of affection and 
 kindnefs. We fpent all firft day in Wageninge 5 
 had a little, but folemn and refrefliing meeting of 
 our own company, and had alfo the company of 
 a young Prieft of good character. He and George 
 Dillwyn converfed (I believe intelligibly) upon 
 forne important fubjects in French, though per- 
 haps neither of them were fully acquainted with 
 the language ; but the beft fenfe being prefent, 
 that defect was made up thereby. 
 
 We left a few fuitable books with them, which 
 were very kindly accepted ; and our parting was 
 with 'apparent fentiments of affectionate efteem. 
 We alfo gave books to divers others, and had a 
 fatisfaction in fpending this little time amongft a 
 kind, fimple hearted people. The people of the 
 inn are particularly of this defcription, their con" 
 duct manifefting a pleafure which they had in en- 
 tertaining us. Thefe comfortable fpots and feel- 
 ings, fomewhat refemble Elijah's food, on the 
 ftrength of which he had to travel many days. 
 As neither Che great work, nor the capacity to do 
 it, is ours, fo we may be emboldened to hope, 
 that our acceptance will ftand in proportion to our 
 obedience to that we have, rather than to that we 
 have not. From Wageninge we came to Arnheim, 
 where we fpent one day agreeably, were at the 
 houfe of very civil people ; and though we did 
 not commence much acquaintance, yet were fatis-
 
 210 The LIFE of 
 
 fied with our little detention there, and to one or 
 other left feveral books. Here we met with a kind 
 man who fpeaks Engliih well, fays he was feafon- 
 ably, and effectually (erred by a friend in England, 
 
 when he was a ftrangcr there ; and this is (no doubt) 
 an additional inducement to lay himlclf out to 
 oblige us, which he does with the appearance of 
 much fmcerity. Thefe journies, I fomctimes hope,, 
 will in future open my heart with more cordiality 
 to ftrangers ; for " knowing the heart of a flranger," 
 a deficiency herein would be doubly culpable. The 
 next place we went to wns Doefburgh, where our 
 feelings were rather unuiually pleafant ; but wc 
 did not find any ftop thereby in our progrefs. The 
 landlady at the inn where we ftopped, appeared and 
 approved herfelf to be far from the common fort, 
 for dignity of manners and folidity, if not religious 
 wcightinefs of mind. Her conduct to us was truly 
 friendly, manifcfVmg an affection and liberality be- 
 coming other parts of her character. We gave he* 
 a Barclay's Apology in Dutch, and feveral books in 
 French, which fhe appeared fully qualified to read, 
 and in a good < I to underhand: fhe wanted 
 
 much to pay for them, but on any terms was glad 
 to receive them •, and after looking over the fuin- 
 mary, promifed to lend them among fome of her 
 neighbours. Germany is a country very unlike the 
 Netherlands, both in the face of it, ana in the 
 manners of its inhabitants ; the people being kept 
 in a ftatc of greater fervility under princes of final) 
 territories. Our difficulties in the way of travel- 
 ing commenced when we left Holland i for alter
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 211 
 
 gliding along in Treckfchutes, upon their quiet 
 waters, we got into waggons, the belt, public con* 
 veyances the country afforded, and the roads being 
 extremely bad, we were jolted to a degree not eafy. 
 to fuppofe ; and for want of knowing the language, 
 were impofed upon, and induced to take our paf- 
 fage in the poft waggon, understanding that we 
 ihould have it to ourfelves, arrive feafonabiy at our 
 lodgings the two nights in profpect, and have time 
 enough for reft. But inftead of thefe fine things, 
 after they got our money, a Capuchin Friar, and a 
 very ill looking man, were put in with us, and we 
 kept in this Situation, with two meals wanting, 
 through a dark rainy night (the wet coming in 
 upon us) till three o'clock the next morning \ 
 when, after two houri reft, we were Summoned 
 again, and without flopping to take any meals, 
 fave our dinners, travelled on till we arrived, 
 about one o'clock next morning, at the gates of 
 Munfter, a fortified city ; where we had to wait 
 for an entrance more than half an hour ; and 
 then had to find our lodgings among a people of 
 a Strange language, whofe principal object was to 
 get from us all they could. This is a hint of 
 the manner in which we got along, and I men- 
 tion it to Shew the inconvenience Strangers are 
 Subject to, and how different the fare of thefe 
 countries is from that of England ; a» the fame 
 time an acknowledgement of providential care is 
 abundantly due from us. Our minds, during this 
 extraordinary trial of body and Spirits, were re- 
 markably Suftained with cheerful tranquility, and
 
 212 The LIFE of 
 
 an abounding defire to comfort one another in 
 this painful imprisonment. We were alio pre- 
 fcrved at the time from differing in our health, 
 and found that part of two days reft in Mun- 
 Itcr, recruited us finely. 
 
 Our flay in that city was very fatisfnetory, finding 
 it to be a place of confidcrable opennefs. One man 
 in particular, a profefTor cf languages in the univerfity, 
 who was fick, received our men with brotherly af- 
 feclion and joy, had very f^isfacftory converfation 
 with them, and was glad to receive divers of our 
 books, fome of which he intended to put into their 
 public library. He told them of a relation of his, in 
 a part of Germany where we have not been, who is 
 fully convinced of our principles, but who has not 
 dared openly to avow them ;' and faid, that in fome 
 other parts, there are many fuch, which we have 
 fmce found to be the cafe. A ferious young noble- 
 man, a pupil of his, intending to take a tour to E: - 
 land, was defirous of being recommended to fome 
 friend in London, in which George Dillwyn gratil I 
 him. Many other opportunities occurred of calting 
 books into the hands of ferious people, and in an 
 imperfect way intimating to them fuch truths, as at 
 that time we were furniihcd with. From Munfter 
 we came, by way of Warrendorf, Padderborn, &c. 
 through Weftphalia, to Pyrmont, which we reached 
 the 23d of the 7th month. Here our minds were 
 foon comforted in the belief, thai tl ! re is a feed i-n 
 thefe parts, which, however hidden from the world, 
 and the many churches profefling the chrifti ne, 
 
 are preffing after an eftablimment on the right foun-
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 213 
 
 dation. Our minds were greatly favoured with 
 peaceful ferenity, and a fteady reliance on providen- 
 tial care ; fo that inftead of difficulties depreffing, 
 they rather animated our fpirits to prefs forward, to- 
 ward the fulfilling of our allotted portion of travail 
 and exercife, and to bear up one another, according 
 to our ability, through all. Nevertbelefs, there 
 have been feafons when Satan did not fail to fuggeft 
 to the weaknefs of my mind, that we were running 
 in vain. But to all our humbling encouragement, 
 after we arrived at Pyrmont, and particularly in the 
 fecond meeting there, among a fimple hearted, feek- 
 ing people, we were convinced that it was not fo, 
 and that infinite kindnefs would alfo preferve us 
 from labouring in vain. It was an opportunity 
 wherein (to the praife of the grace which Ave depend 
 uponj we may fay, that, for a time, " the feed 
 reigned over all." Vifitors and viilted experienced 
 it to be a feafon of uncommon contrition, and du- 
 ring the extenfion of the holy Wing, our fpirits 
 feemed gathered into perfect unity •, fo efficacious is 
 divine .life and love ! It appears that two years ago, 
 there were about twenty in Pyrmont, who being un- 
 eafy with the dead formality of many profeflbrs, met 
 together in their own houfes, fometimes reading, 
 finging, or praying, as they apprehended moft right. 
 They underwent conliderable perfccution on this ac- 
 count from the avaricious priefts, who perfuaded 
 people not to do buiinefs with them ; and being ge- 
 nerally low in the world, they fuffered in this ref- 
 pecl ; but it appears that they were not hindered
 
 U4 T nt e LIFE of 
 
 fhereby from meeting together: yet their reft, not 
 being a pure one, was broken up j fome of them 
 finding their reformation from what they few to be 
 wrong, was very fmall, concluded there was fome- 
 thing more fubftantial than what they had vet expe- 
 rienced ; and this being fuggefted to the reft, occafi- 
 oned a divifion amongft them. A few re tur ned to 
 the profeffion they had left, and the others ce.d'ed 
 to meet together •, yet it is wonderful to fee the bro- 
 therly kindnefs which diftinguifhes them from others. 
 They call themlclves friends, and w ; th much pro- 
 priety, to each other. We fpent about two weeks 
 in Pyrmont, with fatisfaction of mind. For three 
 rooms, three beds, fire, candles, and the ufe of the 
 kitchen, we paid 15s. per week, found our own pro- 
 ins, cooked them ourfehes, with the affiftancc 
 of a girl, and an elderly man, one of the friends who 
 fpoke Englifh pretty well. lie marketed for us, in- 
 terpreted on more in mt occafions, and ferved 
 us with grr a folidity and checrfulncfs. In many 
 refpects, we felt as if v. v re at home, though 
 amongft a peopl ■, few of whom knew whal we faid ; 
 
 but they told us !>y lions, that they felt that which 
 
 was better than words, and which re [uired none to 
 fet it forth: O ! that we may be preferred in, and 
 feel more and more bound to, our own line and 
 meafurc of duty ; tint as the work is the Lord's, the 
 management i it may alfobeinhis wifdom/and tend 
 to his glory ; ■■ u no matter how low and aha.'- 
 
 cd the creature becomes. During our ftay at Vy< 
 mont, we had many mcctiri;, , ' me of which were
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 215 
 
 uncommonly contriting opportunities, -wherein their 
 doubts feerrred to fubfide, and the virtue of truth to 
 fweeten and refrefh their weary fpirits *. In many 
 refpects they are weak, and yet fo fincerely deiirous 
 to obtain " the one thing needful," that we enter- 
 tain a hope, that fome of them will encreafe in fted- 
 faftnefs to what they know to be right. Our minds 
 are often involved in difcouragement and conflict : 
 the weaknefs of our frames, and perhaps the prof- 
 peel: of the unfinifhed part of the work, may be the 
 occafion of thefe. But let us remember, that till 
 they are overcome by the power of victorious faith, 
 it is our feed time rather than harveft, and therefore 
 we are called upon, by merciful and heart-folacing 
 intimations, to low in hope. Whether any apparent 
 fruits ever appear from this journey, we feem com- 
 fortably fatisfied at times, that it will not be loft in 
 the unlimited family of the one univerfal Parent ; 
 and if we are but favoured to keep the word of his 
 patience, fo as to hold out to the end, and return 
 without condemnation, it will not be loft to us. We 
 fet off from Pyrmont for Rinteln upon a different 
 plan from that on which we had travelled before j 
 for having a man to do little fervices for us when 
 there, who is one of their friends, and fpeaks Eng- 
 lifh well, we faw an extraordinary convenience 
 would attend bur taking him wi'th us; and there- 
 
 * At one meeting' we had the company 'of four men, 
 who walked the day before near twenty miles, to fit 
 with us ; and that of another man, who came about 
 forty, alfo on foot.
 
 2i6 The L I F E of 
 
 fore have taken a ii^ht \ . , and a pair of horfcs, 
 
 which faves us i: n and trouble in procuring 
 
 carriages. &c. 
 
 Our man conducts hhnfelf with 
 and Simplicity, asour friend, | . interpreter, ai 
 fervant ; being cl reat deal for 
 
 us befides. We fpent a week at Rinteln, ad 
 
 eral meetings amongft them, | private n 
 
 •us opportunities, in 1 their fai 
 
 and I me of our books for a univerfity in 
 
 that town. In our \ \ ;:ni: through 
 
 a (kirt of Hanover, where we beheld, in the im- 
 provements of the country, and the nee 
 of the ; oce of Eng- 
 land. About Rinteln, there are r twenty of 
 thole who call th s friends, and fome ot 
 m we b< . to be i ted people, and 
 confideral inward work, of re- 
 ion j of wh lave a comfortable hope, 
 \ ' r known to our redj 
 Or not. We are now in this 
 country u of inward p 
 and with n t, of ouri 
 
 • can ; that beft * 
 
 dom has turned u field of lubi 
 
 not, with our i defert it ; 
 
 but v | « >m fpo; to fpot, as > 
 
 hend is in r duty. From Rinteln 
 
 w. re we found a lit- 
 
 <lr company ot I ted, and ta 
 
 rs, who appeared glad '1
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 217 
 
 vifit, and exprefTed a belief that it was in divine 
 appointment for their good. They feemed more 
 deiirous for a right opening to fit down together in 
 filent waiting, than to enter into converfation about 
 what they had already experienced. We had feveral 
 folid, and I hope edifying, meetings among them, 
 to which feveral came from the country many miles 
 on foot, which demonftrated their earneftnefs to 
 be helped on in the right way ; amongft thefe was a 
 blind woman who gets her living by ipinning, and 
 who walked feventeen miles to meet us. She is an 
 "example of chriftian fortitude, and true nobility ; 
 for on our aiking her, if fhe was not under difficul- 
 ties in procuring herfelf a living, fhe gratefully an- 
 fv/ered, that her friends fometimes helped her, 
 that fhe knew fhe was poor, but when fhe reflected 
 upon her fupplies, and the query revived in her 
 mind, f* if fhe lacked any thing," the acknowledg- 
 ment always fucceeded, « nothing, Lord." She 
 told us, with great humility and tendernefs, that 
 her knowledge of the truth was not obtained by 
 books or outward means, but by the operation of 
 the divine principle in her own heart. I hope we 
 have been preferved, thus far, from drawing the 
 inward attention of thofe whom we have vifited, 
 to ourfelves, or attaching them in the affectionate 
 part to any reprefentation of good. The fecret, 
 fympathetic exercife which we have felt on their 
 account, and in company with them, hath, I do 
 believe, brought us all at times, to the renewed 
 difcovery of the everlafting foundation ; and we 
 
 L "
 
 2i3 T.iir. LI V E 
 
 have a hope that fome of thefe will acceptably 
 build thereon. We here met v. t civility, and 
 
 tendcrnefs of lp : r!r, from a coimFellor and dire* 
 of this place ■, but the crofs is a mighty (tumbling 
 block j he often makes me think of N HIS : 
 
 ■I wo left the town, he kindly went before us to 
 an Inn on the road, where he had provided codec, 
 and convened i'cveral of the friends to fake their laft 
 leave; a parting which I hope was attended v. ith 
 true lblemnity, as well as brokennefs of fpirit. "With 
 
 :, he exprefTed his defire, that He who laid he 
 wouiJ be widi his difciples to the end of the world, 
 would go with us, and blefs bis own work. Next 
 day we travelled towards Bucr, and dined fweetry 
 in a field, on proviiion which we took with us, 
 whilft o lt >ng corn. We then turn- 
 
 ed a little out of the road, to vifit a man and his 
 wife, whom the i touting for abfenting 
 
 themfelves from his place of worfhip. lie has got 
 the Magiftrate to fine the . neai • (hillings, 
 
 :h is a great deal for th< \ refill- 
 
 ing to pay it, horn an apprehenlion of duty, have 
 
 ith chr fitn- 
 
 ■ two hi 
 with them I hope t.> oar .•. i I their i 
 
 ■ .t on ' r. In the . of 
 
 WO live a 1. Xion's tr.v. 
 
 tad a meeting -, and cm- •. 
 
 :r bei r, by bis good fpirk, rendi 
 
 an humbling a We have 
 
 y encampments, and when we lh.dl get through 
 v . i»y uncertain; for my part, I
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 215 
 
 fee no way yet ! This blindnefs is, probably, to try 
 my patience, of which I feem, at times, to have a 
 reducing ftock -, but am fecretly fupported, in know- 
 ing Him in whom I have, through holy help, be- 
 lieved. We have great caufe to be humbly thank- 
 ful, for that portion of fere direction and ability, 
 which, for our inftruction as well as comfort, have 
 been revealed in the midit of our weaknefs, and 
 become as a table in the wildernefs, furniihed with 
 food wifely adapted to the nectffities of weary anci 
 hungry travellfrs. It feems very fmgular, when I 
 recollect myfelf, that we are keeping houfe in Pruf- 
 <ia, and conilderably united to fome of it's inha- 
 bitants, who were lately entire ftrangers j and, in 
 degree, feel as if we were at home, though fo 
 far from that which is called home. It is a lit- 
 tle like being in a new world, yet fo near 
 the old one, as to be diftinguiihed for Similar 
 evils, and that ftjfjion which pafieth away, when 
 truth, which is ftrongeft of all, takes ks pofTeffions. 
 It is very pleafant in thefe journeys to feel this 
 fentiment lively upon our fpirits, " the earth is the 
 Lord's," Sec. We went from Buer to Ofnabruck 
 the 26th of the 8th month, where we fpent feveral 
 days under confiderable exerciie of mind, and not 
 finding that our viilt was likely to be attended 
 with any ufe, and being alfo fatigued various 
 ways* we were fo difcouraged, that we were about 
 concluding to leave the town next day, thouck 
 we thought the way to it had opened as clear! v as 
 to moft places we had been Rt-3 but on feeling
 
 220 Tun LI F E o f 
 
 further about it, we thought it fafefl to try a lit- 
 tle longerj and not nunc in the dark. Our lit u- 
 ation was unfavourable, being .'i .: Roman Catholic 
 Inn where the Proteflants are afraid to come, and 
 .our Friend and interpreter having no acquaintance 
 in the place. Thus we continued 'till feventh 
 day evening, without any thing fatisfactory occur- 
 ring, except giving a few fummarics * to fomc 
 fhopkeepers on whom we had called, and having 
 the company of a young woman who had enquir- 
 ed concerning us, and difcovered a ierious delire 
 to be with us, and to have fomc of our books : flie 
 appeared to us to be poiTciTed of much fweetn 
 and valuable lenlibility. On (eventh day evening, 
 our men called upon the merchant, on whom 
 they had a letter of credit, who (peaks EnglHh well, 
 behaved with great kindnefs, and foon apprehend- 
 in ;' : r errand, (having fome knowledge of the 
 fociety in England) went with them to an overfeer 
 of part of his bulineis, who was a religions man, 
 and difcontented with the ceremonious put of the 
 world's worfhip. They found this perfon a little 
 ftiy at firft, but he foon opened to them With fim- 
 
 ;v, and. difc( eered himfelfto be a man who 
 awakened to a profitable fenfe o( his own (1 
 and. to a fincere defir< to be led in divine coun- 
 ter acceptance than the (ha lows of things 
 Id yield him. He came with them to the inn, 
 and at the evening agreeably together. He 
 
 * Theft W( re books containing a uunniary account 
 ur prmcipl
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 221 
 
 told us of a few more in the town of his fenti- 
 ments, who met together every firft day evening, to 
 read, &c ; and on being afked, if they would be 
 willing to lit with us after our manner, he expreiT- 
 ed his own inclination fo to do •, and after inquiring 
 of others, told us next morning, that it was agree- 
 able to them all. In the morning, we were fur- 
 prized and comforted with the fight of a very folid, 
 feeling young woman from Buer, in the capacity of 
 a fervant, who had walked fifteen miles to meet us, 
 in confequence of a fecret draft in her own mind, 
 without having any reafon to expect, from what had 
 parled, that we fhould be at Omabruck fo long. 
 After getting her fome refreshment, we fix fat down 
 together, and had a ftrengthening opportunity, 
 .wherein dear George Dillwyn miniftered to us. At 
 four in the afternoon, we had a meeting with about 
 eight more, amongft whom was an officer, who be- 
 haved folidly. It Was a time of favour, and I be- 
 lieve deep inftru'ftion to fome there, who had not 
 before feen the neceffity of ceafing from their own 
 works, and depending only upon the renewal of di- 
 vine life in the foul, for qualifications rightly to 
 worfhip. After meeting, we paid a villt to one of 
 their friends who was lick, with whom we were led 
 into fympathy and filence, and to whom we impart- 
 ed fuch counfel as truth unfolded at that time. 
 Thefe were relieving circumftances to us, and fet 
 us at liberty, comfortably to depart on fecond day 
 morning for Hertford or Herwerden. We therefore 
 fet off with the profpect of a pretty eafy day's jour- 
 
 L3
 
 2.2 The LIFE 
 
 O F 
 
 ney, but found the road very rough) and in many 
 places dangerous, and more of it than wc expe&ed ; 
 fo that v.'C were grievoufiy jolted, and out till near 
 ten at night, very contrary to our inclination •, for 
 we tried much to get lodgings in a town a few miles 
 off, but the people would not take us in. We ap- 
 pear very ftraage to many here, but fo different to 
 a few who are acquainted with the truth, that the 
 diftinc"tion of countries feems almoft loft, and proves 
 the cementing virtue of religion. At Hertford we 
 were vifited by two religious men, who come un- 
 der the description of thofe called friends in thefe 
 parts ; and they wore encouraged to faithfulncfs. 
 Our men alio vifited a lawyer, who being difcon- 
 tented with the ufual ceremonies of religion, &c, 
 ps much to himfelf. Next morning as we were 
 at breakfait, propofing to depart, there came two 
 men from i .it parts, who had walked many 
 
 miles through the rain to meet us. One of thefe 
 , fome time ago, rcfufed to be married by the 
 . . ft, in which, and in other things, he bore a 
 deady t ftimony, under perfecution, againft an hire- 
 ling minidry. The opennefs, kindnefs, and folidity 
 of his nianriers and countenance, were pleafant to 
 us; and being evidently acquainted with filent wait- 
 1Q ■-, wc had a folemn initruetive opportunity to- 
 hither. From Hertford) we proceeded to l>ilcfeld, 
 a tow:i win re, and in its neighbourhood) there are 
 many religious people, and pari i larly agreeable as 
 to the outward ; but it was a wifit attended with as 
 
 nual travail ol 
 have experienced in any , in i
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 12+ 
 
 which, with the providential openings, and ftrength 
 to vilit the precious feed in the needful time, tend- 
 ed to convince us that we were in the way of our 
 duty ; a mod cheering evidence, in this dreary 
 wildernefs, and a full reward for all our little toils. 
 At this place there are fome who live feparate from 
 all public profeluon, who under an apprehenfion of 
 being turned out of the way, \vere afraid, for 
 a while, to give us any of their company : but be- 
 ing alfo afraid to let the opportunity flip, we wr 
 invited to one of their houfes, to confer with feverai 
 of them on fuch fubjects as might occur, in order to 
 know a little of each other. Both fides were fome- 
 what furprized to find fo much fimilarity of fentiment, 
 refpeeting the ground and teflimonies of trutlu 
 They told us, that if there were a people there, who 
 ceafed from all forms or activity of their own, and 
 fat down in fimple dependance upon the operation 
 of the hcavenlv pift, they would embrace them 
 with brotherly affection, and rejoice to unite with 
 them herein ; but they were lor.th to believe, that 
 they two or three might be required to bear fuch a 
 public teflimony ; nor were they willing to unite 
 with us in fo doing, for fear of the people whole 
 eyes are much upon them. They are people of con- 
 fiderable account, and are very fearful of drawing 
 the lower clafs of their neighbours to themfelves \ 
 and being of Nicodemus's clafs, like better to ob- 
 tain and enjoy, their religious knowledge in private. 
 We had, neverthelefs, feverai opportunities of folid 
 conference together; which were attended with 
 
 L 4
 
 T n e LIFE or 
 
 great unanimity and cordiality; the la ft of which *rt 
 particularly owned with the circulation of di\ ; nc 
 \ irtnc, and with ftrength fully to relieve our minds 
 towards them. We weir very kindly invited to the 
 houle of a merchant, who appears to be a very 
 fincere man. We paid him and his daughter a 
 morning vifit ; hut they were not content with that, 
 and therefore prefled us to fpend firft day evening 
 with them. In the morning of that day, we fat 
 together in the inn, where we had the company 
 of an honeft man, who came on foot fixtcen miles 
 to be at meeting with us, and alfo of four others, 
 of the town. In the afternoon, as J. B. was tak- 
 ing a folitaiy walk, he was met by a ferious man, 
 ▼.•ho delired his company to a houle a little way out 
 of the town ; he complied with his invitation, and 
 
 n they got there, they found fourteen people 
 met together, for the fake of religious improvement, 
 who foon made their requeft that we would all go 
 and fit with them. I was laid down, in a tried 
 fituation of mind, when J. B. brought the invi- 
 tation which had in it fo much of the right 
 favour, that we embraced it, and immediately fct 
 oft", having above an Englilh mile to walk. By the 
 time we got there, they were about twenty in num- 
 ber. We foon fettled down into a filence truly 
 folemn, which I 1 .'. considerable time without 
 interruption of any kind j I when the channel of 
 instrumental ministry !, the as lite mer- 
 
 cifully continued, and our parting was under its 
 
 taring impi 1 bis circumftance, ol drop- 
 
 ping in with a people of whom we had had no in- 
 telligence, and with v !■.< m '• •- no further
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 225 
 
 acquaintance, with the fenfible feeling of divine care 
 over thole who are as fheep having no fhepherd, af- 
 fords altogether a iweet and pleafant reflection ; 
 accompanied by this encouraging truth, that " the 
 Lord can make a 'way, where there i'eems to be no 
 way:" O that He may gracioufly continue thus- to 
 favour us ! After this opportunity, we went to the 
 aforementioned merchant's, and were treated with 
 genuine hofpitality. After fupper, there came in 
 eight or ten perfons with the expectation of a meet- 
 ing, in which they were not difappointed ; and I 
 hope it was edifying to them, George Dillwyn hav- 
 ing iuitable and lively matter to communicate. We 
 had alfo a religious fitting with a family from 
 Elberfelt, a lively fpirited couple, and another per- 
 fon with them. After fpending five days here, and 
 bearing the crofs as faithfully, perhaps, as in fome 
 places where a more open door was minifrered, we 
 departed in much peace, and under the belief, that- 
 the power" of truth is making its own way in thaft 
 neighbourhood. In our way from Bilefeld, W3 
 flopped at a large village called Guterflots, wher3 
 there are many well difpofed people* We ftaid one 
 day there, and fat with a few people who met us at 
 one of their houfes ; after which, and distributing a 
 few books to others in the town, we went forward 
 to Munfter. We are often very weary, and the ac- 
 commodations we meet with but indifferent, eorn> 
 pared. with thofe of England: the roads are alfo bad 
 where we have already been, which, with the con- 
 (Inaction of the carriages, occafion us fometimes to 
 
 L5
 
 226 The L I i £ or 
 
 be grievoufly jolted ; and vet v;c have no caul', 
 complain, having our confohuiom. . U toils ; 
 
 a^ it ieldom happens that Zion's tr are quali- 
 
 fied to flute each other, even in a thon y difficult 
 way, but the immortal birth) in ." .. •' "ce, I 
 for joy. This experience, with t' . f that the 
 
 Lord is at work in the kingdoms of mei I i I 
 gracioufly rewarding fuch feeble endeai is ours, 
 
 with a morfel of the bres d that the w< i I lows 
 not of, render any little ferviccs of ours as oh 
 unworthy the notice of ourfelves, or our friends. 
 From Munfter we went to Crevek. We found, our 
 difcouragements on entering it, being refuied admif- 
 lion at one inn we went to, and at the next, we had 
 fuch a crowd gathered about us, with fuch fhout- 
 ings and rudenefs, as greatly frighted our hone 
 after we were out of the carriage, and our driver 
 had alighted} fib that they ran away, and he follow- 
 ing, and taking held of a chain behind, was thrown 
 down, and his head, to appearance, much hurt 
 againft the wheel. Some of our feelings were low 
 enough on this occafion. But through the couth, 
 kindnefs of providence, our man f«»on recovered, 
 being able to move about next day •, and the people 
 of the houf'e conceived fuch an affectionate refpeel 
 for us, and treated us with huh true C \ Lity, as 
 made our fituation fo far comfortable. We alfo 
 gradually made fo much acquaintance, as afforded a 
 degree that our going to C 
 
 and that our fecrct and known exert if s there, will 
 not be in vain. About the time rf OUT concluding 
 to come away, tfw cqm£any began to be mere
 
 SARAH G R U B 15. 227 
 
 foupht ; which opened the way for the difpofal of 
 fome of our books, and I feel a fecret hope that 
 they will be blefied to fome there. We came to 
 DufTeldorf where wc ftaid one day, and had the 
 enjoyment of M. Wetterboar's company. He feems- 
 aged, but is alive m the truth. We proceeded to 
 Mulheim, where we arrived the 23d of the oth 
 month. It is a town about two miles from Cologne^ 
 like a Gofhen on the confines of Egypt, where 
 many awakened, and feme truly religious people re- 
 fide. We commenced an acquaintance with a few,, 
 who have got a clear infight, from the work of truth 
 in themfelves, into the gofpel difpenfation, and the 
 fpirituality of the chrifrian religion •, concerning 
 tlicfe we have encouraging profpecls ; yet not with- 
 out a mixture, knowing fiomething of Satan's devices. 
 They received us in the name of difciples. We 
 had divers religious opportunities with them, and 
 parted under the precious fenfe cf divine love and 
 life. We paid a vifit to a merchant's wife, a woman 
 of amiable character, who through religious con- 
 cern, has got into a defpairing condition. It was 
 attended with great fiatisfaction to ourfelves, from 
 the fweetnefs which attended our own minds in her 
 company, and in that of her hufband's, who feems 
 bending under the affection, and likely to profit by 
 it. She often exprelled an earneft wife, that, fee 
 had feen us at a time when fuch a vifit might have 
 been blelTed to her ; but laid, that now it was too 
 late for any thing that was good to be offered to 
 her. This was, however, very far from our fenfe. 
 ' Now, through the renewal of unutterable mercy,
 
 72$ Til E J. I F E Of 
 
 and never failing help, my ibul acknowledges a re- 
 lict and aniwer of peace (as far as relates to this 
 ier\ ice) which I am lure my little endeavours, and 
 compelled dedication are unworthy of. We have 
 had many discouragements lincc we came to the 
 continent, and many baptifms into death : we have 
 alio partaken largely of providential care, and been 
 favoured, from time to time, when resignation 
 attained to, with that direction whole effeel have 
 uften proved its rectitude, and Strengthened our 
 faith ; and my foul, at times, has been put into the 
 opacity of lying down as bciide the ftill waters. 
 .Some of the laft openings, or fenfe of duty, have 
 been the moft trying and in the crofs; but bein J 
 yielded to, and the work performed, a comfortable 
 retreat hath been clearly and fweetly founded from 
 this large field of arduous labour; and at a time, 
 when an opennefs amongSt the people was manifeftly 
 encrcafing. This I efteem an inexprefTible favour, 
 and fuch a one as they only can be fenlible of, who 
 have gone under the weight of fimilar mountains, 
 and been involved in the fear of beirn' milled. 
 
 At Mulhcim, fhc drew up and Signed a letter to 
 
 Leopold the Second, King of Hungary, &c. fince 
 
 />cror of Germany, in which her companions 
 
 i For fome time before her arrival at this 
 
 her mind had been very weightily cxcrcilcd 
 
 u ith the important fubjects cxprefled in this letter; in- 
 
 i uch that, at one period, the was under an ap- 
 
 . enfion that it would be required of her to po
 
 SARAH G R U B B, 22? 
 
 in perfon, and relieve her mind to the king. But 
 from this very trying iervice, ihe felt herfelf com- 
 fortably releaied, and the mode of addreffing him 
 by letter, was fatisfaclorily fubftituteJ. The addrefs 
 was intrufted to the care of a reputable merchant of 
 Cologne, who engaged to forward it without delay. 
 The following is a copy of it. 
 
 To Leopold the Second, King of Hungary 9 
 Bohemia, &c. &c. 
 Amongft the numerous congratulations awaiting 
 thy acceffion to the imperial crown, accept, O 
 King ! our chriftian good willies and folicitude for 
 thy prelent and eternal well-being. We are con- 
 fclous that we have no claim to the liberty of ad- 
 dreffing thee, but from a belief that the Lord 
 Almighty, who ruleth in the kingdoms of men, 
 and giveth them to whomfoever he will, hath in- 
 clined us to leave our habitations to vifit fome 
 parts of this country, and now engages us, in gof- 
 pel love, to exprefs our fecret and united prayer, 
 that thou mayffc be a» instrument in his holy hand, 
 for the advancement of that glorious day, fpoken 
 of by the prophet, ¥ when fwords fhall be beaten 
 into plow fhares, and fpears into pruning hooks, 
 when nation fhall not lift up fword againft nation \ 
 neither fhall they learn war any more." The great 
 defign of our univerfal Parent, in fending his be- 
 loved Son a light into the world, is for his own 
 glory in the falvation of mankind ; and for this gra- 
 cious end, he hath given to all men a meafure of 
 his own eternal fpirit. To co-operate with Him 
 herein, dignifies human nature, and is particularly
 
 23 ^ Tii k L I Y E o r 
 
 d i the moft fcrupuloa : n of princes. 
 
 The fmalieft r relation of this heavenly gift in the 
 
 believing foul, having a degree of omnipotence in 
 it, brings into fnbjedlion the natural will and wif- 
 d <m of man, and difcovers to us the noble purpofes 
 of our creation ; it diffufes that true benevolence 
 which characterizes genuine chrifrianitv, and renders 
 dear to n prince, the happinefs of all, even the 
 meaneft of his fubiccis ; imprinting upon his mind 
 the fuperior value of an immortal foul, to all world- 
 ly acquiiitions. Through the neglect of a principle fo 
 pure and important, how hath the rational part of 
 God's creation been facrificed to the irregular paf- 
 lions of fovereigns ; and many unprepared fouls 
 precipitated into an awful futurity ! That the gofpel 
 dii pen fat ion is intended to remedy theft evils, and 
 promote the government of the Prince of Peace ; 
 that the Gentiles are to come to its light, and 
 kings to the brightnefs of its arifing, are truths 
 to which the facred records abundantly teftifv. 
 May this be thy happy experience, O lung ! thai 
 fo the power thou art providentially intrufted with, 
 being fubfervient to divine wifdom, thy example 
 may influence the minds of other princes, who alfo 
 beholding its excellency, may unite in encourag' 
 their iuhjedts to de< lin< , in mutual charity and for- 
 bearance, 1 r is contrary to the purity and 
 fimplicity of the religion of Jefus. And may'ft 
 thou be enriched with all fptritual bid tj that 
 theie added to thy tem po ral ones, may not only 
 perfect thy happineis, hut perpetuate it beyond the 
 narrow limits vt time, and qualify thee, acceptably,
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 231 
 
 to caft down thy crown at the feet of Him who is 
 King of kings, and Lord of lords, who lives and 
 reigns for ever and ever. 
 
 George and Sarah Dillwyn, of "\ Members cf t-Le 
 t\ ,, T p. xt i i religious fociety 
 
 bnrhngton, New Jeriey, Aorth j of friends m 
 
 America. f th ° fe c °™ fri ^ 
 
 I and Grer.t Bri- 
 tain, commonly- 
 
 Jofhua Beale, Cork, JT """" J ^ ^ 
 
 Mulheim on the Rhine, 
 55th of 9th month called Sept. 1 790. 
 
 A fhort time before her return home, on a review 
 of fome parts of this journey, ihe wrote as fol- 
 lows- 
 
 In many places, we found a people who were dis- 
 contented and weary with the mere profeffion of 
 chriftianity, and the deadnefs of thofe forms and 
 ceremonies with which it is encumbered ; and who 
 were convinced of the fufficiency of the heavenly 
 principle. Thefe, having been mercifully vifited 
 with a lively fenfe of the fpirituality of true religion, 
 received us in the name of difciples, and rejoiced in 
 being directed to the chriftian's reft. This true 
 fabbath, was, however, imperfectly underftoocl 
 by many of them, for want of ceafmg, when they 
 met together in little companies, from all activity of 
 their own, and depending fingly on the quickening 
 virtue of truth, to qualify them for, and lead them 
 into, fuch fervices as are moft acceptable, and molt 
 confiftent with the duty of true, fpiritual be- 
 lievers. Some of this people appeared to be fo
 
 :; The LIFE of 
 
 m this great point, n to difcorer ' te* 
 
 knowledge it ; but their a y then - 
 
 to, . rove th< h 
 
 l met with. W« d, 
 
 tv\ : Joubt, a choice 
 
 he: • . and in other parts of the 
 
 Co. , who ng to the tr 
 
 fheepfbld; but, at prefent, . i.kc the d - 
 
 ciples, ted in n\ inner chamber for fear of the 
 
 lews. Our vifit to this people, though attended 
 with a degree of ltrJering, h. active of 
 
 (olid peace. 
 
 r mind being thus comfortably released from 
 this held of labour, lhe proceeded from Mulheim to 
 Clevts, and from thence, through Flanders, to 
 Dunkirk, and arrived at London the : - ih of 10th 
 month i ' :.d feeling a dciirc to \iiit her relati- 
 
 ons at YorK, eve. before her return home, lhe went 
 pretty dirtay for ti.-t city; where lhe ltaid a few 
 day?, \try much to the comfort and 1 .an of 
 
 htr r-. . and friends there. At this time, lhe 
 
 laboured undcx evident indilpcfition of body-, but 
 the fwcetneis of her fpirit, and the c! : . . of 
 
 meeting again her b elo ved connections, with the 
 profpect of foon returning to thofe nt Clonmel, fup- 
 ported her in a grc-t meafure above it, and en- 
 couraged her to let forward and proceed towards 
 home ; which lhe did by way of Ackworth, Shef- 
 field, Manchcfter, 8cc At thefe places, fhe was 
 again refrelhed by the company of divers near and 
 dear friends: it appeared, indeed, by thus ener 
 pafling, in this ihort vifit, fo many of her beloved
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 233 
 
 connexions, that, as the time of her fojourninghere 
 was foon to clofe, ihe was enabled and permitted to 
 wind np the labours of her day, with the mutual 
 confolation of feeing again many of thofe with whom 
 ihe was clofely united, and bidding them a final 
 farewell in mutability. At Ackworth, fhe fpent the 
 night with a near and beloved relative, to whom, in 
 much brokennefs of fpirit, fhe thus expreffed her- 
 felf : Oh ! my dear, I think fometimes that I fhall 
 foon be gone ; it feems, as if my day's work was 
 nearly done, and on looking towards home, as if I 
 might not be long there." 
 
 She reached Dublin in time for the half vear's 
 meeting, and in the felecl meeting there, gave an 
 account of her late journey, with great meeknefs 
 and humility of fpirit ; afcribing nothing to the 
 creature, but rendering to the Lord the praife of His 
 own works. From hence, fhe proceeded directly for 
 Clonmel, (having account of the fmall pox being in 
 the family) where fhe was favoured to arrive the 
 1 2th of the nth month, much relieved from a fe- 
 vere cough which had lately attended her, though 
 greatly exhaufted in her ftrength and fpirits. On 
 her w r ay from Dublin, fhe writes thus to a friend : 
 
 To be ftrengthened rightly to fill up our appoint- 
 ed meafure of lufFerings for the body's fake, whe- 
 ther at home or abroad, is a mark of divine favour, 
 and will be fucceeded by undefiled reft. — I am now 
 returning home, under a grateful fenfe of Provi- 
 dential care, and in peaceful poverty cf fpirit. 
 
 The following is extracted from a letter which ihe 
 wrote at Clonmel, a few davs after her return.
 
 2M The LIFE 01 
 
 I can now once more falute you from home, in re- 
 newed and endeared adccTon, and gratefully ac- 
 knowledge the multiplied prcfervations of our never- 
 failing Helper, in thus far bringing through a varie- 
 ty of (.xerciles, from which the natural mind cannot 
 relieve itfelf. I reflect with folid fatisfac'tion upon 
 my vitit at York, &c. and am glad I paid it, thou 
 I feel myfelf a poor worn-out creature. The 24th 
 of the 11th month ihe fet off from Clonmel to at- 
 tend then- quarterly meeting at Cork ; previous to 
 which fhe wrote the following letter to a friend : 
 
 My prefent affliction hath gained great afeendency 
 over my mind, fo that I feem faft loiing my hold, 
 and fenle of Him that is invifible •, and remembering 
 fume paft exercife, when I was in danger of lofing 
 the beft life, I am ready to fay, with mournful Jere- 
 miah, " caufe me not to return to Jonathan's houfe, 
 left I die there." I know that nothing hath yet oc- 
 curred, which needs to fc Iter a well regulated mind 
 from the fource of good ; but I am left to fuch a 
 fenfe of my own wretched nils, t)i3t even the grafs- 
 hoppcr or things comparable to it, are become a 
 burden. To attend a quarterly meeting under fuch 
 impreffions, is a profpeel: which I need not defcribe ; 
 but I fear to make a prey of thy fympathctic mind. 
 May I be preferved from a murmuring difpofition, 
 by which the holy Spirit is grieved ! 
 
 At the quarterly meeting, fhe delivered, in an 
 humble account of her late miffion, appeared in di- 
 v.-rs acceptable teilimonies, and ;>t the dofc of the 
 meeting was taken ill. This laft c- of nature, 
 
 which was at ti. continued about ten
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 235 
 
 days, when it pleafed infinite wifdom to remove her 
 from the toib and troubles of mortality, to a manfion. 
 of everlafting reft, on the 8th of the 12th month 1790 
 and on the 1 2th, her remains were attended to the bu- 
 rying-ground, by many friends. It was a folemn, me- 
 morable time *, and living testimonies were there borne 
 to the fufficiency of that power, (which had fo emi- 
 nently qualified her, for his fervice,) to ralfe up anxl 
 abilitate others to follow her footfteps. During her 
 illnefs, which was at the houffe of her beloved friends 
 Samuel and Sarah Neale, fhe dropped a few expref- 
 fions, worthy of prefervation, which have been col- 
 lected, and are as follow : In a meflage to a young 
 woman who prefided in the fchool at Clonmel, fhe 
 faid j Salute her very affectionately. I defire the 
 fympathy of her fpirit, and that fhe may be endued 
 with additional qualifications to bear her own, and 
 «ur joint trials, under thefe complicated circum- 
 fiances. Tell her, 1 have been much favoured with 
 quietnefs of mind from the firft, though a ftranger 
 to how the prefent afflictions or trials may termi- 
 nate j but the grain of faith and hope which is mer- 
 cifully vouchfafed, I efteem preferable to all know- 
 ledge. She further faid ; give my clear love to all our 
 young women j I hope that each will be preferved in 
 their relpective lines of duty. I know their tender- 
 nefs for me, but would be forry they fhould let 
 down their fpirits too low 5 for 1 believe that truth 
 would rather increafe, than leflen our ftrength, at 
 fuch times as thefe. The children are all affection- 
 ately remembered by me : I hope they will each en- 
 deavour to lighten the general burden, by their fobri-
 
 236 The LIFE bf » 
 
 cty, and doing that which they know to be right. 
 I am trying to get my mind to a fettlement, that all 
 
 tilings work together for good •, but it is hard to get 
 at it. She feveral times laid : " I mutt go. You 
 mult let me go." And nearly the Lift words flic 
 fpoke were, repeating that paiTage of fcripture, 
 " my peace I give unto you." 
 
 Four davs before her deceafe, flic dictated the fol- 
 lowing weighty, inftructive letter, to a particular 
 friend. Thy falutation met me, though apparently 
 out of courfe, in the right time ; being under im- 
 preflions, which make time and circumftances 
 of little account, compared with the unlimited 
 confolations of the Spirit, or a preparation to re- 
 ceive them at the Divine Hand. My foul, though 
 encompavled with the manifold infirmities of a ve- 
 ry afflicted tabernacle, can feelingly worfhip, and 
 rejoice in nothing more than this, that the Lamb 
 immaculate is ftill redeeming, by his precious blood, 
 out of every nation, kindred, tongue, and people ; 
 and making a glorious addition to the church tri- 
 umphant, whofe names will ftand eternally recorded 
 in the book of life. I cxprefs not thefe things from 
 a redundancy of heavenly virtue, but from the fcul- 
 fuftaining evidence, that, amidft all our weaknefs 
 and conflicts of flcfh or fpirit, an intereft is merciful- 
 ly granted in Him, who giveth victory over death, 
 hell, and the grave. 
 
 Thus hath the fetting fun of this humble 
 follower of the Lamb, gone down in brightnd ; 
 and though ihe hath been called away as in 
 younger life, (being only in the 35 th year
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 237 
 
 "of her age) yet her day's work appears to have 
 been compleat, and, Avith refpect to herfclf, every 
 meafure worth living for, filled up. Honourable 
 age is not that which ftandeth in length of 
 time, or that which is meafured by number of 
 years ; but wifdom is the grey hair to man, and 
 an unfpotted life is old age. May we who re- 
 main behind, whilft we deplore the church's lofs 
 in the removal of fo ufeful and dignified a fer- 
 vant, be encouraged to imitate her example, and 
 to furrender ourfelves in faithfulnefs and dedica- 
 tion to all the Lord's requirings : that fo, when 
 the refidue of our days is accomplifhed, we alfo 
 may be favoured to receive that bleffed declara- 
 tion ; " well done, good and faithful fervant, en- 
 ter thou into the joy of thy Lord, and into thy 
 mafter's reft."
 
 2*8 Tn e I. I 1' £ of 
 
 j 
 
 A Tfi';. ' i m tier monthly Meeting for tit County of 
 
 ^Tipperaryy concerning Smrck Grubb dcccnfed. 
 
 Our minds being deeply affe&ed by the resent 
 great lofs which the church hath fuftained, in the 
 r moval of our beloved friend) Sarah Grubb, 
 daughter of our fri< ids Y, . m Tuke and his late 
 wife Elizabeth of York, we feci it incumbent on 
 us to give forth a tcfiimony concerning her ; for . 
 the memory a I aft is bleffed, fo the remembrance 
 of this digni nd eminently ufeful member in 
 
 the church militant, is precious to many; tJO 
 
 . om (he was a nurfing mother, railed upj 
 a thorough fubmiflion to the operation of the divine 
 hand, to the itature of an elder in the tn; 
 though, as to years, ihc had fcarcely attained the 
 meridian of life. She was a woman of extraor- 
 dinary natural abilities, ftrength of judgment, and 
 clearnefs of difcernment ; and being favoured with 
 the vifitation of heavenly love in the morning oi' 
 her day, and fubmitting to be broughl into that 
 paffive nothingnefs, wherein the veffels in the 
 Lord's houfe are formed ind Grt< I for ufeful- 
 nefs, (he witi I an early preparation for (er- 
 vice, i ning forth in public minifVry about the 
 23d year oi her age. After ■ ■■ : '~' n £ fome years 
 the precious gift committed to her, to the con- 
 solation ol many, (he joined in marri with cur 
 frien>l R it Grubb, and \ ; . ifi 1 mani- 
 
 fefted the fruit oi entire 1 , by fifiting I 
 
 meetings of friend* in Scotland, where her fer
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 239 
 
 vice was truly acceptable, and continued in fiich a 
 line of devotednefs, that in the courfe of about 
 five years fhe vifited rnoft, or all the meetings in 
 Great Britain and Ireland. About three years fince, 
 fhe removed with her hufoand to refide within 
 the compafs of this monthly meeting ; wherein fhe 
 was deeply exercifed in fpirit, for the arifing and 
 fpreading of life, and frequently and earneftly 
 engaged in exciting her brethren and fifters to 
 diligent labour after it. In miniftrv, fhe was 
 found and edifying, not only like the fcribe in- 
 structed to the kingdom, bringing forth out of 
 her treafure things new and old, but qualified 
 by pure wifdom, to bring them forth in the de- 
 •monftration of the fpirit and with power, in the 
 authority and becoming gravity of the gofpel, bet- 
 ing in her delivery an example to all concerned 
 in bearing a public teftimony for the Lord's caufe. 
 The view of coming to fettle in this nation, 
 was accompanied with a fenfe of divine requiring 
 to eftablifh a fchool, for the education of the 
 daughters of friends in ufeful learning, fimplici- 
 ty, and that unaffected piety into which truth 
 leads its followers ; which fhe was enabled to ac- 
 complish, we truft, to the lafting advantage of 
 fome of the riling generation. Soon after her 
 coming to refide amongft us, fhe, in confequence 
 of a concern which had for a considerable time 
 refted on her mind, engaged in a religious vifit 
 to Holland, fome parts of Germany and the fonth. 
 of France ; in which fhe was joined l$y feveral 
 friends, and wherein <ke was eminently gifted for
 
 240 T h b L I F E ot 
 
 the fervice to which Che was called ; her miniitry, 
 private admonitions, and exemplary deportment, 
 reaching the witnefs in many minds; lb that her 
 fervent labour, and the iweet favour ot her cx- 
 ercifed fpirit, we believe is ftill felt, and will be- 
 long profitably remembered in thole parts. After 
 her return, (he paid an acceptable vilit to feve- 
 ral parts of this province, and had meetings where 
 none of our fociety dwelt, much tending to fpread 
 the knowledge of the truth. And laftly, under 
 the prevalence of gofpcl Love, and earneit folicitude 
 that the fheep not vet of this fold might be 
 gathered to the teachings of the great Shepherd, 
 fhe again left her own habitation, and engaged, 
 with lome of her former companions, in a very 
 arduous and exercifing vilit, to Dunkirk, Holland, 
 and fome of the northern parts of Germany ; 
 wherein, we have real'on to believe, fhe had emi- 
 nent fervice, to the confirming of many viiited 
 minds in the faith, and promoting the bit 
 caule of truth and righteoufnefs •, in which glo- 
 rious work, her intrepid fpirit ihrunk not from 
 fufrering : the extending of the government of 
 her dear Lord and Mailer in the hearts of the 
 children of men, and the promotion and increafc 
 of His lpiritual kingdom over fea and land, being 
 nearer to her than her natural life, or any other 
 eonfideration, lhe was brought to a willingnefs to 
 be fpent therein. In her return, lhe attended 
 national meeting, and in the meeting oi 
 minifters and elders, giving an account of her 
 late journey, under the influence of that humility
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 241 
 
 which was fo confpicuoufly the covering of her 
 fpirit, fhe afcribed all to Him, whom fhe knew to 
 be the Author of every good work, in thefe expref- 
 fions : " we have done but little, but the Lord is 
 doing much j" concluding with, " return unto thy 
 reft, O my foul ! for the Lord hath dealt bounti- 
 fully with thee ;" as though prophetic of that 
 everlafting reft, into which fhe was fo near being 
 gathered : for her bodily ftrength being- confider- 
 ably impaired, by almoft conftant exercife and 
 fatigue, it proved unequal to the force of a dif- 
 f em per, which foon after feized her frame, and, 
 by a rapid progrefs, terminated thofe afflictions of 
 which fhe had fo largely filled up her meafure, 
 for the body's fake, which is the church. 
 
 She attended our quarterly meeting at Cork, re- 
 turned a lively account of her journey, and was accept- 
 ably exercifed in the meetings there ; after which, 
 #ie was confined by ficknefs at the houfe of our 
 dear friend Samuel Neale, near that city, where, 
 amongft other weighty expreffions, (lie uttered 
 the following, " I have been much favoured with 
 quietnefs of mind from the firft, though a ftranger 
 to how the prefent afflictions or trials may ter- 
 minate ; but the grain of faith and hope which 
 is mercifully vouchfafed, I efteem preferable to 
 all knowledge." In a letter which fhe dictated to 
 a near friend four days before her deceafe, fhe 
 faid ; " My foul, though encompaffed with the mani- 
 fold infirmities of a very afflicted tabernacle, can 
 feelingly worfhip and rejoice in nothing more than 
 
 M
 
 Tut LIFE or 
 
 . that the Limb immaculate is ft ill redeeming, 
 by his precious blood, out of every nation, kindred, 
 
 rue and people, and making a glorious addi- 
 tion to the church triumphant, whole names will 
 ftand ctcrnallv recorded in the book o{ lire. 1 
 
 i 
 
 expreis not thefe things from a redundancy of heaven- 
 ly virtue, but from the foul fuftaining evidence, 
 that, amidlt all our weaknels and conflicts of flelh 
 and fpirit, an interelt is mercifully | .in 
 
 Him, who giveth victory over death, hell and the 
 grave." Which, with other corrobi circum- 
 
 ftances, clearly evinced, where her hope and de- 
 lance were, and that her refined fpirit was pre- 
 pared for its glorious manilon, into which we have 
 no doubt it was admitted. She departed this 
 the Bth ot 1 2th month 1790; and after a 
 folemn meeting b yreviouily held at the meet- 
 
 ing houfe, wherein, and at the grave yard, feveral 
 
 re borne, her body was inter- 
 red in friends burying ground, in Cork, the 1 2th of 
 lame ; aged about .rs. 
 
 Her c innocently cheerful, which 
 
 d her to t both (exes, and 
 
 her much ; them. To her be- 
 
 ,1 hulbar.d, ll.e was a tr te wife ; to 
 
 her ! ftioii ; 
 
 . that >h not 
 
 her own, and b I b. peace and go will to 
 
 forth th< hand of help, lb 
 
 her conduct was an uniform 
 
 com. h her holy profetTion, and the purity 
 
 of thof h lhe fur iieved and
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 243 
 
 w?s engaged fo extenfively to publiih. May fhe, 
 being dead, yet fpeak with a prevailing language 
 to us all who are left behind ; " follow me as I 
 followed Chrift 5" that fo we may die the death of 
 the righteous, and our latter end be like theirs. 
 
 Given forth at a monthly meeting for the county 
 of Tipperary, held at Clonmel by adjournment, 
 the 13th day of the 2d month 1 79 1. 
 
 Signed in and on behalf thereof, by many 
 friends. 
 
 The annexed teftimony concerning our beloved 
 friend, Sarah Grubb, has been read in our quar- 
 terly men's and women's meeting for Munfter Pro- 
 vince, held in Cork the 21ft of the 2d month 
 1 791, with which we have near unity. 
 
 Signed on behalf of our men's meeting by 
 
 Richard Abell, Clerk. 
 
 And on behalf of our women's meeting by 
 
 Margaret Grubb, Clerk. 
 
 Read, and approved, in our half years' meeting 
 for Ireland, held in Dublin, from the ift of the 
 5th month 1 79 1, to the 5th of the fame inclufive, 
 and on behalf thereof figned by 
 
 John Davis, Clerk to the meeting this time. 
 
 A Tejlimony of York quarterly Meeting concerning Sa- 
 rah Grubb, late Wife of our Friend Robert Grubb, cf 
 Clonmel, in Ireland. 
 
 This our valuable friend, having been a member 
 of this meeting 'till within the four laft years of her 
 
 (life, and the remembrance of her being precious 
 M 2
 
 2^4 The LI F E o i 
 
 to many of us, we feel our minds engaged to unite 
 in a fhort teftimony concerning her, with defires 
 that many, from her pious and excellent example, 
 may be furred up, according to their different mca- 
 fures, to follow her, as flie followed Chrift. 
 
 She was born in the city of York, in the year 
 1756, and was favoured with a guarded and religi- 
 ous education, which, with the divine bleffing upon 
 it, preferred her from many dangers and follies to 
 which youth are often expofed, and prepared hi r 
 heart for that open reception of the truth, and en- 
 tire furrender to its dictates, which remarkably dif- 
 tiii d her through the more advanced periods 
 
 of life. But though fhe w;is early under the violati- 
 ons of divine love, yet being of a quit k and lively 
 difpolition, joined to great natural abilities, lhe 
 found it hard work to fubmit to the lowlinefa and 
 fimplicity of the crofs of Chrifl 5 and endured many 
 fore conflicts before fhe furrendered her will to the 
 government of the Prince of Peace. "Whilft under 
 the Lord's preparing hand for the work <>. L the mi- 
 1 try, lhe experiei iny deep baptifras of fpi- 
 
 iit •, but He who knew ber Gncerity, and carneft de- 
 fires for His holy help and direction, gracioufly de- 
 tained Iter in this proi t, and in due time 
 brought forth living offerii , to Hi - nd 
 th Fort of many minds. In the exercife of her 
 miniftry. (he wa careful not to move in her own 
 time and will, nor to exceed her gift 3 but to be at- 
 ■ to the arilli: ce of life, with 
 patient refignation and dedication of hearts 
 
 ]! , 1 gratitude to the Father of mercies, 
 
 an J her fei ■ for the profperity of his
 
 SARAH G R U B B. 245 
 
 caufe on earth, made her unwearied in her labours to 
 promote it, and to be willing to fpend and be fpent 
 for his great Name's fake. She was an example of 
 true humility and abafednefs of felf, feeling that all 
 her fprihgs were in the Lord, and that though the 
 creature may at feafons be honoured, yet every good 
 and perfect gift came from above, and called for un- 
 feigned acknowledgement. To the neceffity and pow- 
 erful efficacy of the pure principle of light and grace 
 in the foul, fhe bore many living testimonies, and re- 
 commended, above all things, the clofeft attention and 
 obedience to its holy manifestations, as that alone 
 which can preferve from the fpots of the world, re- 
 deem the mind from its fpirit and enjoyments, and 
 confer that peace which the world can neither give 
 nor take away. She beheld and mourned over the 
 breaches and wade places of Zion, and we believe 
 laboured honeftly, according to the ftrength receiv- 
 ed, for the repairing thereof, and the reftoration of 
 ancient beauty and fimplicity. Her fuperior abili- 
 ties, fanctified by the humbling operations of the 
 holy fpirit, qualified her for extenfive fervice in the 
 administration of the difcipline of the church-, where- 
 in fhe was concerned to act, under a degree of that 
 covering, which ought to influence every religious 
 movement. Of a folid and weighty fpirit, fhe was 
 engaged to dig deeply for the hidden treafure, and 
 laboured to dwell near the fpring of divine life : yet 
 infinite wifdom faw meet to naffer her at feafons to 
 experience great inward poverty : but under thefe 
 proving difpenfations, fhe murmured not, being 
 refigned to the will of her Lord and Malter, and 
 
 M 3
 
 2 t 6 The L I F E of, &c. 
 
 made willing "• to fuffer with him, that {he might 
 alfo reign with him." And having partaken of the 
 fufierings and confolations of the gofpel, fhe knew 
 how to fympathize with the exercifed and mourning 
 fpirit, dealing her bread, when qualified, to the 
 hungry foul, and pouring in the wine and oil to the 
 help and refreshment of many. And as this devoted 
 faithful fervant of the Lord, was thus inftrumentaJ in 
 glorifying His name amongit mankind, and promot- 
 ing the divine government in their hearts, fo fhe be- 
 came more and more refined, and redeemed from 
 all viilble enjoyments ; 'till, in unfearchable wifdom, 
 He who put her forth and went before her, was 
 pkafed to " cut fhort the work in righteoufnefs," 
 and to remove her, we doubt not, from His church 
 militant on earth, to his church triumphant in hea- 
 ven. 
 
 Read, approved, and fignecl, in, by order, and 
 on behalf of our quarterly meeting held in York, by 
 adjournments, on the 30th and 31ft of the 3d month 
 1 79 1 by 
 
 Mordecai Casson, Clerk to the meeting this time. 
 
 Elizabeth Tukf, Clerk this time.
 
 APPENDIX: 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 A N 
 
 A 
 
 C C O TJ N T 
 
 O F 
 
 ACKWORTH SCHOOL, 
 
 OBSERVATIONS 
 
 O N 
 
 CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE^ 
 
 A ND VALUABLE 
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM MANY OF HER 
 
 LETTERS. 
 
 M 4
 
 r .V - M' .l » « a g3t»BEgggWBWBg3nrSB 
 
 SOME 
 
 ACCOUNT 
 
 O F 
 
 ACKWORTH SCHOOL, 
 
 7 
 
 ADDRESSED TO A 
 
 FRIEND in AMERICA. 
 
 Bear Friend, 
 
 ^nr^HE fallowing imperfect account of Ackworth 
 fchool is prefented to thee, in confidence 
 that thou wilt not expofe it, and yet with a hope 
 that it may privately aid thy endeavours to efta- 
 blifh a lchool, for the religious education of youth, 
 in another part of the world ; an engagement 
 worthy of thyfelf, but requiring fomething better 
 to render it truly fuccefsful. 
 
 M S
 
 150 ACCOUNT oj- 
 
 As religious concerns cannot-, any more than 
 thofc uf a ci\il nature, be rightly carried forward 
 without order and method, it becomes a very im- 
 portant inquiry, what rules and adjuflments of things 
 pertaining thereto, are confident with the fpiritu- 
 ality of their origin, and when thefe are found, 
 they call for great care in officers and their fuper- 
 intendents, to keep them in their proper pines, 
 left that which is begun in the fpirit, Ihould be 
 fought to be made perfect in the flefh. 
 
 There is a moral rectitude, fabricated in human 
 wifdom, which is beautiful to the natural - 
 leizes on the paflions, ami draws from a fuperfii ial 
 judgment, an inconfiderate approbation of what, 
 perhaps, when it is fcrutinized into, has I'prung 
 irom a love of popular applaufe, and tends to fet- 
 tle thofe who are active in it, in a reft and en- 
 joyment of the work of their own hands. 
 
 To know the firft fpring of action, is a noble 
 attainment-, and if it prove pure, tben carefully to 
 keep it fo, is a work (thou well knoweft) of far 
 greater magnitude •, and which will tend more to the 
 regulation of a fchool, than a fine-fpun fyftem of 
 pofitive rules, untinctured with faith in the fufii- 
 ciency of divine aid, immediately communicated. 
 
 To obtain a right form is furely of abfolute 
 neceflity, becaufe regularity is one of the wheels 
 whereby the intended work is to be effected ; and 
 \ ips fume uleful order may be gathered from 
 the following pages, which I hope will not be im- 
 plicitly adopted, [ndeed, I have been thoughtful] 
 in the comic of my penning them, whether iu'.U
 
 A CK WORTH SCHOOL. 2s 1 
 
 as are rightly influenced to promote an education 
 confiftent with our holy profeffion, would not be 
 better furnifhed with qualifications to fettle even 
 civil concerns, without a model of the experience 
 of others ; feeing that the fountain of divine wif- 
 dom is inexhauftible ; that for the conducting of 
 temporal things, there can be no order like that 
 which immediately flows from it ; and that a ve- 
 ry fmall digrefllon of our attention from this 
 fource, is often fucceeded by many erroneous 
 fteps. 
 
 To thy prudence, therefore, I commit this lit- 
 tle work, believing thou wilt not ufe it impro- 
 perly. If it afford thee any ufeful reflections, in 
 times of relaxation from the weight of gofpel fer- 
 vice, be the means of opening for me a door of 
 accefs into thy clofet, make me a partaker of thy 
 treafure, and fometimes revive me in thy remem- 
 brance for good, I fhall be fully fatisfied. One 
 obfervation further occurs to my mind, for which, 
 as this is all a piece of freedom, I fhall not 
 apologize. As nothing can be faid to be truly 
 religious, (whatever the firft defign may be,) but 
 what is religioufly conducted, a very fpecial care 
 ought to be maintained to the pointings of truth, 
 in choofing inftructors and fervants for a fchool ; 
 who fhould be more directed to the fchool of 
 Chriit themfelves, than loaded with injunctions 
 about trivial matters, and their conformity to them 
 confidered as their qualifications. No law or rule 
 ought to be fo framed, as to interfere with their 
 religious duties j and when any make a wrong ufe
 
 ■2-z A C C O U N T oi. 
 
 of the liberty truth allows, great care fhould be 
 cxercifed, left alterations take place, which have a 
 tendi :o circumfcribe the righteous with the 
 
 >reilbr ; fur where this is the cafe, people of 
 an outward, fteady conduct, a cringing temper, and 
 who know but little about revealed religion, feem 
 to be molt adapted to iuch an institution. Thefe 
 may, to the utmoft of their natural abilities, pre- 
 serve order, and prefer the works which molt re- 
 commend them to thofe in fuperior power, being 
 as earneft in their endeavours, as any, to promote 
 the eftablifhment of civil authority, and of a great 
 many fpecious forms : but the vitals of the bufti- 
 tution being oppreffed, and the fpirit and life of 
 every act of duty to the children, and of chn: 
 diiciplinc amongft them, difregarded, the whole 
 body muff gradually grow difeafed and corrupted. 
 
 liducation is a Subject fo copious, when un- 
 folded to the inward attention of thole to whom 
 the carr of children is ri^htlv committed, as to 
 rt ■ ; Tire a better affifted pen than mine, to do it 
 juftice ; but this I believe, that Simplicity, godly 
 iinccrity, and a righteous zeal and tendernefs, 
 with an improving and imparting knowledge of 
 ufeful things, can hardly fail of rendering a per- 
 is under a fecret i'enfe of duty, qualified 
 to undertake it. 
 
 To be fenfible of the divine influenc?, to pro- 
 | the knowledge of it, and fo to prefer it 
 
 to all other confederations, as to walk worthy of 
 its WeflSng being fhed upon our endeavours, is the 
 
 , of our profeffion. That
 
 ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 25,3 
 
 " the blefilng of heaven above, and of the deep 
 that lieth under," may reft upon thee, dear friend ! 
 crown all thy labours, fweeten all thy bitter cups, 
 and render invincible the habitation of thy fpirit, 
 when ftorms may affail it, and difcouragements 
 wait at the threfhold of its door, is the prefent 
 fervent breathing of thy truly affectionate friend, 
 
 Sarah Grubb. 
 Fofton, i ft month 5th 1786. 
 
 SECT. I. 
 
 Ackworth fchool is an inftitution Intended for 
 the religious education of children, members of 
 our fociety, between the age of nine * and four- 
 teen, and particularly of thofe whofe parents are 
 not in affluent circumftances. It admits of three 
 hundred, viz. one hundred and eighty boys, and one 
 hundred and twenty girls. They are paid for, at their 
 entrance, by a bill of admittance of eight guineas va- 
 lue •, for which they are provided with board, learn- 
 ing, clothing, and other neceffaries, for one year; 
 four millings and four pence are alfo then depofited* 
 as an allowance of one penny per week for pocket 
 money. This fchool is under the immediate care 
 of two committees, in each of which there are 
 twenty-eight members ; one is constituted of 
 friends of London, and held there; the other of 
 friends in the neighbourhood of Ackworth ; divers 
 
 * The prefent limitation of age is between eight 
 and fourteen.
 
 254 ACCOUNT of 
 
 of whom arc twenty, thirty, and fome forty miles 
 diftant from the place. 
 
 Each committee meets once a month ; when the 
 general ftate of the inftitution is conildercd, par- 
 ticular regulations propofed, complaints received, 
 the intended refignation of fervices reported, and 
 • I ads appointed to enquire for a fupply of af- 
 iiUants, &c. &c. 
 
 As it often happens that divers friends are at 
 Ackworth the niidit before the fitting of the com- 
 mittee, or early in the morning, three of them 
 infpeel all bills of parcels, and the treafurer's ac- 
 counts •, and report to the committee the ftate 
 thereof, the number of the children admitted and 
 returned fince laft month, and thofe that are up- 
 on the lift for admittance : others examine the im- 
 provement of fuch as are likely to depart the en- 
 fuing month ; and, generally, religious opportuni- 
 ties are taken with them, and an account given 
 thereof to the committee. Copies of the minutes 
 of each committee are tranfmitted to one another, 
 and neither of them conclude upon any thing new, 
 of importance, without mutual approbation. Seve- 
 ral friends, once a year, give up to an appoint- 
 ment to fpend fome time in the houfe, in order 
 to value the ftock, to fettle all accounts, and to 
 take a more general and minute furvey of the 
 ftate of the family, than could be done at any 
 other time with fo mnch propriety: and generally, 
 on vihts to the family, at other times, the com- 
 pany of women friends has been defired, a num- 
 ber having their names down on the committee's
 
 A CK WORTH SCHOOL. 255 
 
 books for fuch fervices. Agents are appointed 
 in each county, who undertake to negociate the 
 bufinefs between thofe who fend the children, 
 and the inftitution, by providing bills of admit- 
 tance and certificates, and giving notice of their 
 readinefs, &c. 
 
 A general meeting is held at Ackworth once 
 a year, conftituted of friends appointed to attend 
 it from the feveral quarterly meetings. Here the 
 ftate of the inftitution is intended to be laid 
 open ; all fubjecls of doubt, and efpecially fuch as 
 the two committees could not agree upon, to be 
 refered for candid difcuffion and determination, 
 and new regulations or lules eftablifhed. 
 
 A large number of friends from diftant parts, 
 is appointed to mfpect the children's advances in 
 learning, &c. and to obtain a knowledge of their 
 teachers' abilities, a free and honeft reprefentation 
 whereof is thought abfolutely necefTary. This ge- 
 neral meeting adjourns to a fuitable time in the 
 yearly meeting week, when their minutes are read, 
 and a report made from thence to the yearly 
 meeting at large. 
 
 N. B. The infpe&ion of the female fide of the 
 houfe is committed to the women friends, afTem- 
 bled at the general meeting at Ackworth ; who 
 appoint different committees to examine the dif- 
 ferent departments, have free conferences with the 
 officers, infpecl: the girls" improvements, take re- 
 ligious opportunities with them, and report the 
 fubflance of their obfervations, and the propriety 
 of fuch amendments as occur to them thereupon j
 
 256 A C C O U N T of 
 
 after which, minutes arc formed, and a copy of 
 them lent into the men/ meeting. 
 
 SEC T. II. 
 
 There are Rationed in the family, a trcafurcr and 
 his wife, to whom is committed the fuperintendence 
 of the whole *. 
 
 The boys have generally four or five matters, 
 whofe falaries are from 25 to iool|. per annum, in- 
 tended as proportionate to their fervices, and abili- 
 ties ; and there are alio fome apprentices. The 
 her of the ichools is four, and the mafters keep 
 much to the diftinc"t branches of learning for which 
 thev arc beft qualified ; as one, reading, another 
 writing, a third arithmetic, &c. and the children 
 pafs in claffes from fchool to fchool, except the lit- 
 tle ones, who are principally kept under the care of 
 one mafter. 
 
 The apartments for teaching are fo commodious 
 as to render all crowding unneccflary, especially at 
 writing; the deiks, though in one continued length, 
 have neverthelefs fiich divisions, by openings for 
 each boy's books, &C. that there need not be any 
 interference, if they keep their places. 
 
 Ten or twelve of the eldeft ami moft folid boys, 
 are chofen monitors, who lend i'ome afiifiance in the 
 
 Thcfc fervc the institution without a falary, which 
 greatly adds to their authoril 
 
 1 .is the (alary of the principal maflcr ; but 
 
 this office being discontinued, no fidary is now lb h
 
 ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 257 
 
 fchools, particularly in fettling the children to their 
 places, and taking care that each has his own. 
 
 About ten minutes before every meal, a bell is 
 run<r, at which the children are quickly collected in 
 ranks, either on the open ground, or under a colon- 
 nade which fhelters from wet and heat. The maf- 
 ters ftand in the front in their own divifions, whilft 
 the monitors furvey them behind and before, taking 
 care that their buckles are in order, their hair comb- 
 ed, and if any be dirty, to fend them to walh. 
 
 Here the maflers have a frequent opportunity of 
 making ufeful obfervations, giving general directions, 
 administering counfel, and felecling out offenders 
 for the table of difgrace j which is no otherwife dil- 
 tinguifhed, than by being detached from the reft, 
 and having no cloth upon it. 
 
 When the fecond bell rings for meals, they ad- 
 vance in couples with great regularity to the din- 
 ing-room, (the leaft going firft) and divide at the 
 foot of the table, one going up on one fide, and the 
 other on the other j by which means they are feated 
 with dexterity and expedition. 
 
 A general filence immediately enfues, which, by 
 an intimation from one of the maflers, is foon broke, 
 and all begin their meal ; but no converfation loud- 
 er than a whifper is allowed, during the time of eat- 
 ing, and no more in that manner than is necefTary 
 for transfering their victuals from one to another, 
 when fome have too much, and others too little^ 
 ihe latter of which are freely lupplied by the mafters, 
 if they afk
 
 258 ACCOUNT 01 
 
 When all appetites appear fatisficd, and a meal 
 is ended, filence again takes place, after which, 
 with an intimation of quietude, and fedatenefs, 
 they are beckoned to depart. They unite again 
 in couples at the foot of the table where they 
 parted, and walk fteadily out of the room into the 
 places appointed for play, where they difperfe. It is 
 thought necefTary, that one of the mafters fhould be- 
 ftow a general overfight on them in thefe times of re- 
 laxation, with no more interference than is absolute- 
 ly neceflnry. 
 
 SECT. III. 
 
 The fame order is obferved amongft the girls, as 
 with the boys, at fchool and meals ; they have fel- 
 dom lels than four miftrcflcr., wh nf<- filaries are 
 from 12 to 25I. per annum ; thefe teach fewing, knit- 
 ting, fpinning flax, reading, and the Engliih gram- 
 mar. Writing and arithmetic are alfo taught by one 
 of the mafters, who is particularly fct at liberty, part 
 of every day, for that purpofe, and has a certain 
 divifion of girls each time; but the committees are 
 defirous, that fomc of the female teachers fhould be 
 qualified to inftruct in thefe branches of learning *. 
 
 A wife attention is paid in the girls fchools to qui- 
 etude and regularity ; each is to know her own bufinefs, 
 and the time for applying for inftrudtion about her 
 work, &c. There arc two or three apprentices for 
 
 * Thefe branches are now taught by female inflruc- 
 tors.
 
 A CK WORTH SCHOOL 259 
 
 whom there is a considerable fphere of action, in afiift- 
 ing the miftrefTes, as there are many more articles 
 of care amongft the girls than the boys ; fuch as large 
 ftocks of goods to be made up into wearing apparel, 
 cutting up work, teaching various branches.of the exe- 
 cutive part, and dealing out haberdafheries to the 
 children. A difcreet allotment of care and employ 
 to thefe, preferves the miftrefTes from too opprefiive 
 a load of anxiety about fmaller matters, and gives 
 them an opportunity, in their refpective fchools, to 
 cherifh a neceffary recollection of mind, enabling 
 them more fenfibly to partake of a meafure of divine 
 ftrength, by which alone they can govern with right 
 authority and tendernefs. They have alfo monitors, 
 who have Similar offices to the boys. The reading 
 miftrefs has feldom more than one clafs in her fchool 
 at a time, which confifts of fix or eight, and they 
 read paragraph by paragraph, all ftanding fo remote 
 from her, as to render a proper exertion of their 
 voices necefTary, by which they are inured to read 
 audibly. The miftrefs or affiftant teacher, to whom 
 is committed the care of fpinning, attends to that 
 employ only a few hours each day ; the reft of her 
 time being taken up with mending the children's 
 linen, efpecially that of the little ones, and inftrucl:- 
 ing five or fix girls at a time in that art, having them, 
 and that kind of work, in a room wholly fet at liber- 
 ty for the purpofe. The eldeft girls take it in turns, 
 one or two at a time, to affift the mantua-maker, 
 who is fupplied with plenty of work. They alfo 
 take it in turns to work with the laundrefs every 
 week, in warning, and getting up fmall linen, and
 
 ACCOUNT of 
 
 In waiting at meal-times at the houfe-keeper's tabic ; 
 ami one in turn is under the peculiar direction oi 
 
 the trcalurcr's wife, who keeps her pretty much 
 to her tiwu parlour, and employed in her w< 
 Two of the girls are weekly appointed to fweep 
 the lodging rooms every day, and all the girls make 
 their own beds, (as they llcep in couples,) w] 
 arc curled hair mattreffes laid upon rails; they have 
 n boltur, an under blanket, a pair of Qieets, two 
 upper blankets, and a counterpane of Gngle furniture 
 check, but no curtains. A cheft with partitions 
 flands at the head of every bed, and furnifhes two 
 girls with conveniences for the keeping of their 
 clothes, having two drawers at the bottom for tl 
 fmall linen. 
 
 Their apparel in general, and efpecially fuch as 
 partes through the wafhings, is marked with the 
 initials ot their names, and the number of their bill 
 of admittance. 
 
 The girls .u-e provided with work by the inftituti- 
 on, and for their improvement, finer needle-work is 
 taken in for hire than the family can furnifh them 
 with ; and when tli.it falls fliort, child-bed linen ts 
 fometimes made to (ell, in which ruperfluous work is 
 guarded againft. 
 
 The girls and boys go to bed in the fame order ; 
 and all their clothing is fo folded up, and laid upon 
 their chefts, thai I h there are twenty or thirty 
 
 beds in a room, yet after they . in bed, 
 
 then irticle of of its pro- 
 
 per place, and confequently no interference in put- 
 ting them on. The lodging rooms have feveral
 
 A CK WORTH SCHOOL 261 
 
 ventilators in the ceiling. One or more of the mif- 
 treffes, or fteady apprentices, fleep in each, and a 
 healthy cheerfulnefs and decorum are preferved 
 through the whole. 
 
 SECT. IV. 
 
 At meeting the boys and girls enter in the fame 
 method, the boys firft, a mafter leading the way ; 
 the leaft children immediately follow, and are feated 
 on the uppermofr. crofs forms, the reft regularly fuc- 
 ceeding according to their height ; and coming in by 
 couples, they fill two benches at a time, and very 
 foon get all fettled. The monitors are placed on a 
 fide bench, which gives them an opportunity of in- 
 fpeeting the behaviour of the other children, and of 
 inftructing them by their example, the mafters and 
 miftreffes are placed at little diftances, on a feat one 
 ftep higher, by which they can overfee the whole. 
 They depart with no lefs regularity than they come 
 in, the children joining again in couples ; and in 
 fuitable weather, they take a circular walk round the 
 area in the front of the houfe ; after which, they 
 are advifed to retire to reading, a confiderable li- 
 brary of friends books being provided, part whereof 
 is produced on a firft day. — The children every 
 evening fettle to read, the boys and girls feparate; 
 and they all, with the family, are collected once a 
 week for that purpofe, previous to which, they qui- 
 etly fettle down in filence for a little while, then one 
 of the mafters reads a chapter, and about fix boys, 
 and as many girls, read fix or eight rerfes each j af-
 
 262 ACCOUNT of 
 
 ter which, they paufe again, till it is judged a fuita- 
 ble time for the children to withdraw, which they 
 do, not in couples as on other occafions, but fingly, 
 going immediately to bed, and at inch a diftance 
 from each other, as to admit of no converfation hy 
 the way, the teachers paffing with them in certain di- 
 villons, preferves the quietude without interruption. 
 They generally rife at fix in fummer, and feven in 
 winter, and go to bed at nine in fummer, and eight 
 in winter. It is a rule that every child, on admit- 
 tance, (hall have a certificate figned by a medical 
 perfon, expreffive of his or her being in health, and 
 having no infectious diforders, or apparent fores ; 
 and if a child has not had the Cmall-pOX, the parent 
 or guardian iignilies, whether, if the contagion 
 fliould break out in the family, they choofe inocula- 
 tion. Whenever an illnefs of any kind appears, the 
 fubject is conligncd to a fteady matron in the ftation 
 of a nurfe, who has convenient apartments for the 
 reception of fuch ; and an apothecary in the neigh- 
 bourhood has a falary for attending at ftated periods, 
 whether he is wanted or not, and as much oftener 
 as occafion requires ; the drugs are kept in the houie 
 at the expenee of the inftitution, and the nurfe has 
 the care of th 
 
 N. B. The children's drels, if not lb when they 
 come, is modelled to a certain Simplicity , which 
 meets with the general approbation of the mo ft con- 
 fiftent part of the fociety ; and fuch apparel as is 
 provided by the inftitution, is of a fubft.mtial, and 
 rather coarfe texture, but neat in its colour and make, 
 and a care is exei tiled over it, which preferves it foto
 
 ACKWORTH SCHOOL. 263 
 
 the laft. An exact uniform in colour, &c, has not 
 been adopted. 
 
 SECT V. 
 
 The houfe-keeper has the general care and com- 
 mand of the kitchen, the keeping, giving out, and 
 providing the houfe linen, fhe gives an account 
 what victuals and ftores are wanted, fees to the pro- 
 per ufe of them, and delivers an account to the 
 treafurer of her difburfements, once a month. 
 
 There are two chamber-maids, whofe bufinefs it 
 is to make the boys' and family's beds, to fweep 
 their lodging rooms and the ftairs, every day except 
 meeting days, to aflift in getting up linen, mend- 
 ing fheets, the boys' fhirts and ftockings, and alfo 
 to help in wafhing and combing the boys. The 
 nurfe likewife aflifts in mending linen, but nothing 
 is to interfere with her fervice to difeafed chil- 
 dren. 
 
 Two cooks are found fufficient ; they contrive 
 their bufinefs fo as to have little hurry at meal times, 
 and on the evening preceding meeting days, the vic- 
 tuals are fo prepared for next day, that little more is 
 neceffary, having in Cummer, cold meat, or fruit- 
 pies, and in winter, boiled plumb puddings, which 
 only require one perfon to ftay at home, to keep the 
 coppers boiling. 
 
 They have one fervant whofe bufinefs is principal- 
 ly wafhing difhes, &c. A fteady, and rather elder- 
 ly man, is generally kept for renewing the fires, 
 and jobbing about. There is one dairy-maid, who
 
 A C C O U X T ok 
 
 has the care of the milk of upwards of twenty cows, 
 n ill It s in milking them, and m.ik^s the hutter, Sec. 
 The Laundrefs's work is only to infpeel and affift in 
 the warnings. A mill, fbmcthing like the bleachers, 
 is ufed for la: aths •, it is in .1 building detached 
 
 from the houie, and is wrought bv a horfe; the li- 
 nen is walhed in bags, being firfl forted and foaped ; 
 two waiher-women are provided for one day, who, 
 with a man that is kept in the capacity ot~ a carpen- 
 ter, can, with induftry and the laundrelVs alhitanee, 
 
 ompliih all that is fuitable for I e. Theft 
 
 wafhings come every week. One man has the care 
 of baking and bi . in wl ..eluded the chil- 
 
 dren's dinner-;, when they have baked meat or p 
 and a - the bi ead, &c. 
 
 . md two men in the i of farmers, 
 
 who, with a I irer occafionally, find fufficient 
 
 ploy in railing a little grain, taking care ci' the 
 cattle, in milking, to market about 
 
 three miles did . , • bing c< 'its 
 
 The treafurer, hi* wife, the houfe- 
 keeper, v I kers, acept thofe who lur 
 
 f.\: mittrelles, nurfe, and mantua-maker, eat 
 
 together at the he ter's table; and the other 
 
 fen ther in the kitchen, 
 
 . are made incumbent I 
 ever.- fcr . md (hoe-maker, 
 
 wl . cottagi adjoin- 
 
 ing the hi , i fufficient for their ftp- 
 
 port. • and b >ard in the houfe, being 
 
 and neceflarj f%* rooms. The 
 
 t.i.. : . .. - from a large gar-
 
 
 A CK WORTH SCHOOL. i6 5 
 
 dm on the premifcs, and the care of it committed to 
 a man in the ftation of gardener, and his aflift- 
 ants. 
 
 N. B. Admitting into the family fuch as are not 
 in profeffion with friends, is guarded againft. 
 
 SECT. VI 
 
 Inconveniencies have been found by recommend- 
 ing perfons with too partial an eye to their pri- 
 vate intereft, and obtaining for them a comfort- 
 able afylum ; fo that fome who were not objecti- 
 onable in their own fpheres, and within the com- 
 pafs of their own abilities, have obstructed the 
 right order of the inftitution, and have necetfa- 
 rily become objects of difapprobation ; being defec- 
 tive in thofe facu!ties which were peculiarly re- 
 quisite for the ftations to which they were in- 
 troduced : whereas fome others, from a fecret ap- 
 prehenfion of duty, and an upright defire f-.r 
 the good of the inftitution, have, under difcourage- 
 ments and much diffidence, before their qualifica- 
 tions were ripened to public view, been put into 
 offices ; and yet thefe have in due time, been 
 wonderfully opened in religious and civil ufeful- 
 nefs, and have become as pillars in the fupport of 
 right government in the family. It has been 
 found expedient, from which great advantages 
 have arifen to the family, that friends who tra- 
 vel in truth's fervice, and thofe that come dif- 
 intereftedly on the bufinefs of the inftitution, 
 fiiould be freely accommodated in the houfe ; any 
 
 N
 
 266 ACCOUNT of 
 
 expenfe occasioned thereby, being more than eom- 
 penfat:jJ by their religious concern and endeavours 
 for tne profperity of the whole Koufehold. Ne- 
 vcrthelefs, inconven :nries and unneccfTary expenfe 
 have evidently arifen by the children's connecti- 
 ons, and thofe who only come from curiofity, 
 having free accefs to the accommodations provid- 
 ed by the inftitution •, and therefore an inn has 
 been opened in the neighbourhood *, where people 
 may be agreeably entertained, and enjoy, as if 
 they were in the houfe, every privilege of fee- 
 ing the children, obferving the order of the fa- 
 mily, and attending religious opportunities. As 
 a library of fuitable books is prodded by the in- 
 ftitution for the children's uie, and as others of 
 a very different tendency have nnwifely been fent by 
 
 ir connexions, it has been found expedient to 
 forbid the introduction of any publications but 
 wl at firft undergo the teacher's infptction. 
 
 Divers advantages have arifen by the fchool's not 
 being limited to the children of friends in ftrait- 
 ened circumflances ; as thofc who had their out- 
 
 rd affairs in good order, hi be expected lb 
 
 to have extended their care I their offspring, 
 as that their example ami the mere ignorant 
 
 and left guarded youth, might promote folidity and 
 good order in the family: and in cafes where tl, 
 < ire had not been hifliciently c \ti tided, the good 
 fuch children, not lels than others, appears to be 
 the object of the fociety's concern: and as their 
 
 * As the prcniifcs 1 elong to the inftitution, the com- 
 mittee has ibmc control on the tenant.
 
 XCKWORTM SCHOOL. 267 
 
 parents were not prevented from contributing to 
 the fupport of the inftitution, fo as amply to al- 
 low for the additional expenfe above the ftated 
 fum, and even to exceed it if they thought pro- 
 per, no reafonable objection could ariie on that 
 account. 
 
 By this means the houfe was more eafily fup- 
 ported, and that diftinction in the fpirit of the 
 world, which is the bane of religious fociety, was 
 in fome degree removed. Thus children intended 
 to fill different ftations in life, being fet upon an 
 equality, with which nothing interfered but their 
 merit or demerit, has proved a great encourage- 
 ment to friends in low circumftances to fend their 
 offspring, when they found there was no defign 
 publicly to mark them as objects of charity ; which, 
 no doubt, from diffidence in fome, and an un- 
 wiliingnefs to be denominated poor in others, 
 would have been generally fo difagreeable, as that 
 the number of three hundred children could 
 fcarcely have been found, whofe parents would 
 have fubmitted to receive a national benefit, if 
 thereto the badge of poverty had been affixed. 
 As the poor in civil, much more in religious 
 fociety, are entitled to neceffary and comfortable 
 accommodations, and thofe who are in eafy cir- 
 cumftances, upon the principle of loving our neigh- 
 bours as ourfelves, have not a right to more, 
 fuch an education as is fuited to the one, may 
 not be inconfiftent with the ether, if inftead of 
 training them for children of tkis world, the cul- 
 
 N 2
 
 268 ACCOUNT of 
 
 tivation of their minds, as followers of Chrift, be 
 i ic principal object in view. A friend may, tor 
 curing the necell'aries of life, be in eafy cir- 
 cumftances, lupport an honourable appearance 
 a.nongtt men, and a generous hofpitality towards 
 friends, being of thole who rather defire to 
 . than receive; and yet, if out of a large fa- 
 , he wilhes to fend three or four to ichool, 
 and thinks it his duty to provide the molt guard- 
 ed education, it may be quite inconfiftent with 
 i abilities, and the education he wilhes them 
 to have, to place them in a more expenfive li- 
 ,.\on than what, upon an average, they colt the 
 inititution at Ackworth: to prevent fuch a friend 
 from the benefit of lb generous a defign, is incom- 
 ible with the avowed concern of the fociety 
 for the welfare of its youth. Our judgment of 
 one another's circumfbnees in lile is often cr- 
 j ... iu , and it hath forrowful'.y appeared, that 
 many bave been ftrangers to their own; and fome 
 \ ,.) .,. /it be unkindly judged tor fending their 
 ro Ackworth ichool, became of the ap- 
 pearance of affluence, which they unwifely fup- 
 a time, h ive proved una')' ■ even to 
 life of keeping them there without 
 tl, • •! their friends. There have hem 
 
 tions in the minds of tome fri l an i>pcn 
 
 ! children whole parents approved the 
 p'.i i '>:' education, from a fuppofition that the 
 ;i:d be crowded with fuch as might be 
 . trell provided for, and that the poor 
 excluded the benefit and preference they
 
 AC K WORTH SCHOOL. 
 
 ought to receive from fuch an institution ; and 
 alio, that the annual Subscriptions expected from 
 all the monthly meetings in the nation, would 
 be too much appropriated to the ufe of thole 
 who might afford to pay for their children ell - 
 where ; from whence, difcouragements being thrown 
 out to friends in eafy circumftances fending their 
 children, the fchool has much fewer candidates, 
 and the defign of it not fo fully anfwered. Thefe 
 objections would be removed, if friends were more 
 liberal and unconfined in their views, as to num- 
 bers or ftations in life, and were fo far from ex- 
 cluding, either the rich or the poor, as to be 
 concerned for, and feel after, the propriety of ex- 
 tending their accommodations, and diffufing their 
 endeavours for the admiSfion of all who offered, 
 and by opening a door for thofe of ability to pay 
 Sufficiently for their children, they might alio pro- 
 vide a means for the relief of fuch as require the 
 help of others in bearing their burdens, remem- 
 bring that, " the liberal devifeth liberal things, 
 and by liberal things fhall they Stand." 
 
 Upon the whole, it is evident that all children 
 ought to be confidered as proper objects of fuch 
 an inftitution ; for, in general, even the Situation 
 of the rich, as to their profperity in the truth, 
 is as much to be compaffionated as the poor ; 
 being often educated with ideas and impreffions 
 more repugnant to gofpel Simplicity, -and lefs 
 inured to the felf-denial of a christian, than the 
 offspring of Some who labour under difficulties in 
 
 N 3
 
 270 A C C O IT N T or, 8cc. 
 
 temporal th Wh parents are vi!r cnou< h 
 
 to foci difpofed to their children in a iitua- 
 
 i, fo favourable lor the growth of virtue, and 
 fo oppofing the ambitious views, and prefumptuous 
 endeavours after felf-exaltation, it would he i^rcat- 
 ly to be lamented, if fuch were excluded from a 
 feminary, which under the peculiar care of the 
 fociety, is better infpeaed, regulated, and furnifhed 
 with religious officers, than private fehools can 
 often experience. And as, by this inftitution, a 
 religious education and improvement in ofeful 
 knowledge, is offered to the acceptance of friends 
 for their children, upon moderate terms, and .1 
 place large enough for the prefent prepared, there 
 is no doubt but that by an indifcriminate mixture 
 of children belonging to our fociety, divers ad- 
 vantages to their future fteppings in life may arifc. 
 
 There is in one quarterly meeting, a fund for 
 the affiftance of thofe, whole parents and mont! 
 meetings may be unequal to bear the expenfes of 
 their children's education, &c. This fund has 
 been extensively beneficial ; the intereft is appro- 
 priated to pay one half the eight Guineas for each 
 object; and the reft left to be railed either by the 
 children's connexions, or th< ir monthly meetings. 
 
 For the further information of thofe who may 
 be, in fomc mcafure, ftranpers to this inftitution, 
 a ftate of the accounts reflecting the fame for the 
 yc.r 1 - ;i is ful
 
 A Report of the State of Ack- 
 vvorth School, the 31ft of 
 the 1 2 th Month, 179 1. 
 
 An Inventory of the Eftate and 
 Effedts belonging to, and of 
 Debts owing by, this Inftitu- 
 tion, the ifl of the ift Month, 
 
 1792.
 
 3 
 
 7 
 o 
 
 6 
 
 i6 
 
 10 
 
 o 
 o 
 
 35 
 
 356 16 
 
 Total Income this Year - - - - - 4* 
 
 Total expended this Year 
 
 Increafe in Favour of the InCitution 
 Balance of Stock the id of the 
 
 Month, 1 79 1, - - - - - - 
 
 Improvements on the Ellates fine; 
 
 were purchafed, eftimated at 1000 
 Thefollowmgarticles reckoned 
 
 in laft year's Inventory are 
 
 difcontinued, \i/. 
 ImprovementsatN. Inn34 
 Trees in the Garden 40 
 Cart-houfe, &c. - 90 
 Walking Mill - - 100 
 
 they 
 o a 
 
 397 '. 
 
 8712 
 
 12 
 
 
 
 o 
 
 
 
 
 
 £> 
 
 Errors in Bills of 
 
 
 Admiffion - 42 
 
 9 
 
 I) 'in (latin? the coft 
 
 
 Prices of 7, &4i)er 
 
 
 Cent Stocks 4S7 
 
 15 
 
 ♦I 
 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 264 
 
 735 lf J 
 
 o 4* 
 
 53° 
 
 o o 
 
 Balance of prefent Stock, the 3 1 
 12th Month, I79I1 as per the fol 
 low ing Inventory - - - - 
 
 
 d. 
 
 o 
 
 o 
 
 10 
 
 A Report of the State of ACKWORTH SCHOOL, 
 
 the 31ft of the 12th Month, 1791. 
 The Income and Expenditure this Year have been as 
 
 under, viz. 
 INCOME. 
 Donations and Legacies, as per Lilt 
 
 Annuitants deceafed 
 
 Annual Subfcriptions, as per Lilt - - 
 Bd'.s of Admiflion ; 2^7 with Children" 
 
 educated, at 81. 8s. per Annum - 
 Ditto, Over-time, 66 Weeks, at 5s. per 
 
 Week 
 
 Intcreft of 3 and 4 per Cent. Annuities 
 
 John Fothergill's Annuity, 1 year's dividend 50 
 
 Rent of New Inn, and Land, 1 Year 
 
 24I 
 
 Ditto, of a Cottage and 5 Acres ot 
 
 Land, 1 Year ill 
 
 Balance of Farm Account - - 
 
 16 
 
 4 
 
 o 
 o 
 
 111 
 9i 
 
 24 
 
 7 
 6 V 
 
 205 19 7* 
 
 9555 '7 9
 
 EXPENDITURE. £. s. d. 
 
 Houfe Expenfes; in Provifions, Coals, &c. 1880 o g~ 
 
 Clothing for Children - - - - - -831 16 ) : 
 
 Salaries and Servants Wages ... - 545 4 10 
 Intereft paid to Annuitants, at 5 per Cent. 212 1 o 
 
 Repairs, including the new-making and' 
 
 enlarging of the principal Drain from %■ 124 14 6| 
 the building --._.. 
 
 '} 
 
 Conveyance of Children at 2d. per Mile,! o 
 
 j- a/t-1 J- 130 10 b 
 
 exceeding 50 Miles - - - - J J 
 
 Stationary - - - - - - . 60194 
 
 Furniture, Bedding, Linen, &c. for 1 
 Wear and Tear ----- J" 
 
 Apothecary Account ; Salary, Drugs, &c. 4244 
 
 Contingencies - - - - - - 17175 
 
 Garden 25 iS 
 
 Total expended this Tear - 3971 4
 
 An Inventory of the Estatf and Effects bclo 
 g to, and oi Dims owing by , this Instituti 
 
 the lit of the ill Month, iyys. 
 
 Br longing to thj I a .mi n 
 
 £> 
 
 J. 
 
 ThcEftatesat . coft - - 752 11 
 
 * Improvements on faid Eftat - - 1000 o 
 
 New Office foi the Secretary, built thi ) Q 
 
 Your, OQft ------ J *3 
 
 Confolid. 4. per Cent. Annuities 5J00I. coil 4328 15 
 Three Months Intereft due thereon - 550 
 
 Confolid. 3 per C^iit. Annuities 200I. coft 14^ 
 
 Six Months Intereft due thereon 3 
 
 John Fothergill'S Ann. \ year's fntereft due 25 
 
 New Inn and Land, half War's Rent due 1 2 
 Cottage and 5 Acres of Land, 3 Quarters due 8 
 Furniture; Linen, Bedding, t\c. on hand 1' j 
 j'.iim; Cattle, Hay, Oats, &c. ditto 678 
 
 Uoufc Expenfes; Provilions, Coals, ^c. ditto 4 - J 
 
 o 
 
 o 
 
 I 3 
 
 Clothing for Children, ditto 
 Stationary ; Books, Paper, Quills*, &c. ditto 
 itingencies ; Money lent on leaving" 
 
 School, to be leturned - - ' 
 
 Ditto due for 4 5 Children who have had 
 
 the Small Pox - - - 
 
 Garden; Dial, I T tLnlil therein 
 
 Bills of Admiflion; due for 4, 1 , an< 
 
 Forty-Seven Weeks 
 PrugSj Medicines, &c. on Hand 
 Materials for R«paiw, ditto 
 nee in the Treafurer's Hands 
 
 -j 
 
 312 
 »5« 
 
 47 
 16 
 
 5 1 
 
 49 
 
 24 
 
 107 
 
 5 
 
 o 
 
 o 
 o 
 
 5 
 4 
 *9 
 9 
 »3 
 •5 
 
 16 
 
 5 
 
 1 1 
 
 ■3 
 
 ■7 
 
 '? 
 
 '4 
 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 o 
 8 
 o 
 
 91 
 
 H 
 I 
 
 4 
 
 o 
 9 
 
 1 1 
 B 
 8* 
 
 l820I 12 $\ 
 
 ■ The Money expended under the Head Repair-, 
 (v.tii h include Improvements lime the Eilatc was pur- 
 1 hafed) in the courfe of more than twelve Years, amounts 
 to near Four Thouland Pounds.
 
 Owing by the Institution. £\ s. d. 
 
 Annuities at 5 per Cent, on the Life of \ 
 
 a Subfcriber and Nominee - - J 4*5° o o 
 
 American Committee, due to them - 2679 16 io± 
 
 Childrens Account, due to 299 now in") 
 
 tlie Houfe, being for Time unexpired J X 357 9 ° 
 
 Barclays and Tritton, due to them") 
 when outftanding Drafts are paid \ 4 2 9 3 ° 
 
 Bills of Admiffion, for 3 § for 1792 - 29 8 o 
 
 Balance of Stock in favour of the Infti-1 
 tution, the ift of the ift Month, 1792 j 25H *7 9 
 
 18201 12 3|
 
 A N 
 
 ACCOUNT 
 
 O F 
 
 YORK SCHOOL. 
 
 The following account of an injlitution at Fork, written 
 by Sarah Grubb, was alfo found amongfl her papers ; 
 «nd as Jhe was one of its fupporters, and it appears to 
 be connected with the preceding fubjeB, it is judged 
 proper to introduce it in this place. 
 
 A S the fchool at Ackworth did not receive chil- 
 ■*■ \ dren but within certain limitations as to age, 
 &c. fomething further, by way of appendix, was 
 found necefTary j viz. a fchool fomewhat fimilar to 
 Ackworth, which could receive girls of any age 
 or defcription, whofe parents or guardians inclined 
 to fubmit them to the rules of the houfe ; where a 
 fteady religious care might be exercifed, uninfluenc- 
 ed by any pecuniary considerations, and instructions 
 afforded in ufeful learning and houfewifery. 
 
 One friend having felt her mind under a folid con- 
 cern for the eftablifhment of fomethir.g of this kind, 
 imparted it to divers others, as truth opened the
 
 s 7 S ACCOUNT of 
 
 way ; and they finding a concurrent engagement, 
 were willing to unite a little property and attention, 
 for the opening and carrying of it forward ; in ex- 
 pectation that others would be concerned to fucceed 
 them, for its future continuance and fupport. 
 
 As an overfight fuperior to what might be expect- 
 ed from fuch as fhould be placed in the ftation of 
 miftrefles, appeared to be proper, one friend, (her 
 hufband uniting therein) offered herfelf to the fer- 
 vice •, and feveral religious young women of improv- 
 ing abilities, were engaged to ftep in, for a time, 
 as teachers, &c. without expectation of any pay or 
 reward, fave that peace which is the confequence of 
 difinterefted faithful labour. 
 
 A fum was accordingly raifed, a fuitable houfe 
 provided to accommodate about thirty girls, and 
 furnifhed in a plain, ufeful manner, at the expenfe 
 of the proprietors ; except the parlour and a lodging 
 room, which the fuperintendents were intended 
 more particularly to occupy, and which are furnifh- 
 ed at their own expenfe. 
 
 They alio pay to the inftitution an ample fuflicien- 
 cy for their own living in the family. 
 
 •Simplicity of manners, and a religious improve- 
 ment of the minds of youth, were the principal ob- 
 jects in view of the friends who eftablifhed this 
 it hool ; and therefore, whatever has a tendency to 
 obftruct this work, is cautioned againft, and fuch 
 apparel as the children bring with them, if deemed 
 inconfiftent with the plainnefs which truth leads into, 
 is not allowed during their refidence here ; nor fuch 
 literary publications as unprofitably elate the mind,
 
 YORK SCHOOL. 279 
 
 and give a difrelifh for the purity of gofpel truths ; 
 but a knowledge of »feful hiftory and geography, as 
 additional branches of learning to thole of reading, 
 writing, arithmetic, and the Englilh grammar, are 
 by no means difapproved. And whilft a careful at- 
 tention is paid to the improvement of the children in 
 neceiTary needle-work and knitting, all that is 
 thought merely ornamental, is uniformly difcourag- 
 ed. 
 
 The girls make their own beds, fweep their own 
 rooms, and take it in turns, by couples for a week, 
 to wait at the fuperintendents' and girls' tables ; and 
 fuch as are fet apart for that fervice, are fubjecl: to 
 be called upon in extraordinary cafes, to aflift in pre- 
 paring victuals, and other neceiTary employments in 
 the family. 
 
 N. B. Each girl pays at entrance fourteen guineas 
 for learning, board and wafhing.
 
 SOME 
 
 R E* M A R K S 
 
 O N 
 
 CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE, 
 
 AS IT RESPECTS THE 
 
 EDUCATION of YOUTH. 
 
 THE Author of the Chriftian religion came to 
 redeem and fave from that fpirit which oppofed 
 the coming of his kingdom. He has wonderfully 
 displayed the efficacy of that good, by which evil is 
 overcome, proving through the whole of his difpen- 
 fations a coincidence of mercy with juftice. And the 
 operation of this benign principle appears to be in no 
 cafe more neceflary and profitable, than in the true 
 fupport and difcharge of the duties which we owe to 
 thofe who are placed under our fuperintendence and 
 care. As there are difpoiitions manifefh in children, 
 after the knowledge of good and evil is contracted,
 
 28z OBSERVATIONS on 
 
 which degrade the mind from that innocency wherein 
 they were firft created, and which like an evil tree 
 (if differed to grow,) will produce unwholefome fruit; 
 fo there is alio in the power of thofe who have right- 
 ly the care of them, a means wliich may, hy the 
 concurring operations of truth, be rendered effectual 
 to the reduction thereof : and as both the difordcr 
 and the remedy lie deep in the hear,*, they muft be 
 fought for there, without the love of fuperiority, a 
 carnal judgment of good and evil, or the influence of 
 
 £lf-wffl. 
 
 To bring children to a true and profitable fenfe of 
 their own ftates, and direct them to the fpiritual 
 warfare in themfelves, is the main end of all religi- 
 ous labour on their account ; and herein a Tingle eye 
 ought to be kept to the witnefs of truth in their 
 minds, for that muft be vifited and raifed, before 
 they can fo fee, as to repent and convert from evil. 
 "When this is the principal objc<5t in the view of thofe, 
 who confider themfelves as delegated fhepherds, ac- 
 countable for the prefervation of their flock, they 
 are religioufly engaged to promote it by fuch means 
 as are put into their power, under the influence of a 
 christian fpirit ; which preferves from a defire of oc- 
 cafioning fufFering, or more of it than is abfolutcly 
 necefTary for the obtaining of that end, gives patience 
 to perfevcre in labour without fainting, ftrength to 
 bear and forbear in their waitings for the fpringing up 
 of the good feed, and opens an eye of faith to look 
 for, and depend only upon, the blcfllng on their en- 
 deavours. Hereby the conduct of fuch is deeply in- 
 ftructivc to children ; and may leal upon their minds
 
 CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 183 
 
 the pious concern of their preceptors, and affection- 
 ately endear them in a friendship laftingly profitable, 
 when they prove, through the influence of divine 
 love upon their own underftandings, the juftice, 
 mercy, and nobility of that chriftian difcipline which 
 has been exercifed towards them, and whereby they 
 have obtained fweet communion with, and an o- 
 pening to, the fountain of good in themfelves. 
 
 If in our paffage through life, we are often brought 
 to acknowledge that of ourfelves, without divine af- 
 ilftance, we can do nothing, is it not abundantly ob- 
 vious in the work of beftowing a religious education 
 on youth ? and fhould any wifdom prefide over that 
 " which cometh down from above, and is firft pure, 
 then peaceable, gentle, and eafy to be intreated, full 
 of mercy, and full of good fruits, without partiality, 
 and without hypocrify ?" It is lamentable to fee 
 how people in general, and even fome who feek the 
 fenfe of truth on other occafions, feem to confider 
 themfelves, at any time, or in any difpofition, qua- 
 lified to inftrucl: and correct children, without per- 
 ceiving that their own wills require to be firft fub- 
 dued, before they can acceptably be inftrumental in 
 fubduing the will of others. Though acts of indif- 
 cretion, or feverities, may have a tendency to hum- 
 ble thofe who receive them (through whole ilncerity 
 all things work together for good, even as perfecti- 
 on has been bleffed to thouiands) yet the inftru- 
 ments are by no means acquitted thereby, their con- 
 duct nofi being the produce of that faith, which 
 worketh by love, to the purifying of the heart. It 
 is not to be expected but that there is referved for
 
 284 OBSERVATIONS on 
 
 fucli, a proportionate degree of fuffcring, to that 
 which, in their own wills, they have occafioned to 
 others : though, by their natural undcrftanding on- 
 ly, their perception of divine recompenfe may not 
 be clear enough to diitinguifh it, yet a righteous re- 
 tribution, or receiving that meafure themfelves which 
 have meted to others, may await them. 
 " Provoke not your children to wrath," laid the 
 apoftle. A conduct may be exercifed towards youth, 
 which being under the influence of the paffions, has 
 a natural tendency to raife a fimilar return. To pu- 
 nifh a child becaufe it has offended us, without the 
 difcovery of an evil defign, is to act under an un- 
 chriftian fpirit, which revenges injuries. This is a 
 difpofition which is apt to receive its gratifications 
 from a flattering, cringing fpirit, and from fuch 
 marks of refpec~t as originate in an impure fpring of 
 action ; and hence, teachers of children may, from 
 a fuperficial judgment, approve and ftrengthen the 
 little pharifees under their care ; whilft the pure life 
 that is ftruggling in the hearts of fome who refemble 
 the publican, is crufhed and difregarded. Many and 
 deep are the forrows of the childhood of fome, which 
 proceed from different caufes : and doubtlefs that in- 
 capacity wherein they are placed for obtaining rc- 
 drefs from real grievances, and the abufe of power 
 being ftrengthened in thofc from whom they receive 
 them, may be numbered amongft thefc affecting < - 
 cafions. Many children, even in our fociety, have 
 a loofe unguarded education, and grow up as dege- 
 nerate plants of a ftrangc vine, lui\iu little 
 care cxercilcd towards them, except to indulge their
 
 CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 285 
 
 unruly appetites, and paffionate defifes ; thefe re- 
 quire the yoke to be laid upon them with caution 
 and true judgment, left more fhould be commanded 
 than they pofTefs abilities to perform, and fo their 
 deficiency be unjuftly laid to their charge : yet the 
 cultivation of their minds fhould be fteadily pur- 
 fued, under that holy ailiftance without which we 
 can do nothing acceptably. Paft experience does 
 not appear to be a fufflcient qualification for this, 
 any more than for other religious fervices, even 
 where it has been right, and much lefs fo, when 
 it has not been ftrictly under the influence of that 
 wifdom, which is pure and without partiality. 
 
 Wifdom and ftrength muft be waited for, day by 
 day, for the right performance of our duties, be- 
 fore Him who weighs our actions in the balance 
 of pure juftice, and only approves thofe which are 
 wrought in the fpirit. To educate children reli- 
 gioufly, requires a quietude of mind, and fympa- 
 thy in their guardians, with the ftate of the good 
 feed in them, which will lead rightly to difcri- 
 minate between good and evil j to difcover the 
 corrupt fource of many feeming good actions ; and 
 to perceive that a real innocency is the root of 
 others, which cuftom, and a fuperficial inveftiga- 
 tion, have rendered reprehenfible. Here we fee 
 the neceffity of true wifdom being renewed, and 
 the infufficiency of that which is carnal, and boafts 
 its own experience and ftrength. It is the hum- 
 bled mind to which is unfolded fuch myfteries 
 of true godlinefs, for its own edification, and that 
 of thofe under its care, as could not have been
 
 286 OBSERVATIONS on 
 
 received in the fupport of a falfe confequence, 
 and the lo\e of fuperiority. If children are to 
 be inftructed in the ground work of true religion, 
 ought they not to dilcover in thofe placed over 
 them, a lively example thereof? or ought they to 
 fee any thing in the conduct of others, which 
 would be condemnable in them, were they in li- 
 milar circumftanccs ? Of what importance then is 
 i r for guardians of children, to rule their own 
 fpirits ; for when their tempers are irritable, their 
 language impetuous, their voices exerted above 
 What is ncceilary, their threatening* unguarded, 
 or the execution of them ralh, however children 
 may for a time fuller under thefc things, they 
 are not inftrucicd thereby in the ground work 
 of true religion; nor will the witnefs of truth, 
 as their judgments mature, approve a conduct like 
 this ; tho' thru' the bias of felf-will, it may be adopt- 
 ed in fimilar cafes, in a fucceeding generation, 
 by thofe who, inked of having gathered good 
 feed, have, from the mixture (! their education, 
 preferred the bad, which meeting with a foil fuit- 
 able to its nature, grows and becomes fruitful, to 
 the corrupting of many more. 
 
 The love of power is fo deeply implanted in the 
 natural mind, that without we i p it, and its 
 
 evil tendency, in the true light, we are not like- 
 ly to confidcr it as an cm my of our own houfe, 
 againft which we are called to war with as much 
 righteous zeal, as againft the evil in others •, vea 
 with more, becaufe it is declared inch are our 
 greateft foos. Where this corrupt part is cherifh-
 
 CHRISTIAN DISCIPLINE. 287 
 
 ed, it ftains our actions ; and having gained the 
 afcendency over the pure, lowly feed, bribes and 
 influences the judgment refpecting good and evil, 
 and eftablifhes the mind in a felf complacence, 
 which, however productive of reproof, has feldom 
 an ear open to that inftruction by which itfelf 
 ftands condemned. The prodigal difplay and ufe 
 of power is the very deftruction of chriftian dis- 
 cipline. Power is neceflary ; not to be affumed in 
 the will of the creature, but to ftand fubfervient 
 to the judgment of truth, under which it ought 
 to be exerted j lying in ambuih as a waiting, 
 affifting force, ready to be called in cafes of dif- 
 ficulty ; when, if it ftep forth in true dignity, the 
 appearance, rather than the ufe of it, may gene- 
 rally prove fufficient, and its wile retreat render 
 it ftill more ufeful and reverenced. True love, 
 clearnefs of judgment, and the meeknefs of wif- 
 dom, are the Supporters of true dignity ; and 
 where thefe prevail in a mind under divine go- 
 vernment and control, they give authority, firm- 
 nefs, and benevolence, in thought, word, and 
 deed ; which have a profitable and comfortable 
 effect upon thofe who are placed under their in- 
 fluence, and open a door for undifguifed familia- 
 rity, and affectionate intercourfe, wherein children 
 receive inftruction more fuitably and cordially, than 
 under the arbitrary fway of a continually affumed 
 power. Should we lay hold of chriftian difcipline 
 in all its branches, and return with it to its 
 root, either amongft children or in the church, 
 we fhall always find it originates in a chriftian -
 
 288 OBSERVATIONS 8ct. 
 
 fpirif, and that every plaufible appearance which 
 is defective in this ground, is lb far no better 
 than founding brafs, or a tinkling cymbal. 
 
 The right education of children, especially in 
 boarding-fchools, is no doubt a Clofe and ardu- 
 ous work ; thofe, however, who are rightly en- 
 gaged therein, and endeavour after their own re- 
 finement, and an encreafing acquaintance with the 
 Fountain of Purity in themfelves, need not have 
 their eve outward for the cftablifhment of power 
 and authority ; for He who feeds the ravens and 
 clothes the lilies, knows what they ftand in need 
 of, and is able, out of his own treafury, to fup- 
 ply all their wants ; to be " mouth and wifdom, 
 tongue and utterance •," and will not fail to help 
 under their greateft difficulties, if they fupport a 
 patient dependence upon Him alone, and profitably 
 live under the perfuafion, that when He lhuts, 
 no one ihould attempt to open, and when He 
 opens, none can fliut.
 
 EXTRACTS 
 
 FROM 
 
 LETTERS 
 
 WRITTEN BY 
 
 SARAH GRUBB. 
 
 QHEFFIELD 5th month 1772* — I cannot but wifh. 
 to fpend a few weeks with thee, either here or 
 at York j but as I am ftnfible it is not good for any 
 of us to have our inclinations gratified at all times, 
 I am defirous to be eafy, and refigned to every thing 
 that may crofs my natural propenfities j that fo, when 
 affliction and probation may prefent therofelves, 
 which certainly will attend our pilgrimage through 
 this uncertain ftage of life, I may be the more 
 ftrengthened to undergo thefe trying feafons with 
 patience and fortitude. But I may conclude with 
 the words which thou haft repeated before ; " to 
 will, is prefent with me, but to do, I know not ;" 
 for though this fortitude and refignation are things 
 much to be defired, yet to be entirely given up to 
 
 * In the 1 6th year of her age, 
 O
 
 2yo EXTRACT S from 
 
 the will and difpofal of a kind providence, is no cafy 
 attainment. Thou mentioned the difference of our 
 
 fituations ; and it would be ungra if 1 did not 
 
 confider, and look upon my privileges, as favours 
 from indulgent heaven, if I make a proper ufe of 
 them. But it is the hate of the mind that limits 
 our happinefs ; and alas ! it is the want of a iuiii- 
 cient care in the cultivation of my mind, that is a 
 means of obftruc'ting that peace which it ^vould be 
 fweet to enjo) . 
 
 York, 7th month 1773 — I often think our troubles 
 r.re much augmented, by looking on thofe who are 
 in a more advantageous ftation, according to our 
 opinion; when, if we could but content ourkhes 
 with putting their many mortifications, to balance 
 the adverfe conditions of fome on whom external 
 circumftances feem never to have fmiled, and 
 whofe life has been a feries of affli&ion, it would 
 amply compenfate for tlie labour. Due conlidcr- 
 ation would make our forrowa appear greatly 
 fhort of what providence might have allotted for 
 us, and would frequently prove them to be the 
 refult of paffion, or imaginary ills. 
 
 York, 4th month 1774 — Thy Letter was falu- 
 tary and grateful, arriving when my mind v. 
 anxioufly concerned on many accounts. The Ci 
 of fo large a family, thou wilt readily own, mnit 
 engrofs a large (hare of my attention; it is a 
 t.nk to which I often think myfclf unequal, 
 especially sunongft children} bul thai I am wil- 
 ling to make the bed of, if I may but be enabled 
 i'o to conduct, '. . to give no real caulc of offence,
 
 LETTERS. 191 
 
 nor to example in any thing that is contrary to 
 the Simplicity of truth. Under thefe considera- 
 tions, I fee my own infufficiency, and how un- 
 able I am to aft the part of an elder fifter, 
 without a daily fupport from the Fountain of 
 every good. What mould we do, were there 
 nothing to fly to but the instruments, the pub- 
 lishers of the gofpel ? what aid can they lend 
 us ? what Strength in weaknefs, in comparifon of 
 that inward Stay, which, if enough looked unto, 
 would be the Staff of our lives ? Arid with 
 this gracious privilege, how mournful is it to 
 confider the preference that is given to the foi- 
 bles of this tranfitory life, before that true peace 
 which flows from the Divine monitor, the teacher, 
 within ? 
 
 York, 8th month 1775 — And now permit me 
 to tell thee how welcome a part of thine was ; 
 it led me, when I read it, to conclude, that after 
 looking on all the frailties of human nature, and 
 perplexing ourfelves with a view of the various 
 and intricate fcenes of this life, the neceffary re- 
 fult Should be, " to be quiet, and mind our own 
 buSinefs ;" or, as thou faycit, to endeavour to feel 
 ourfelves approved by Him who fees not as man 
 fees. If we make welcome every obstacle that is 
 prefented in the way to peace, we may juftly con- 
 clude that we Shall never arrive at the peaceful 
 Jerufalem, the quiet habitation which cometh down 
 from God out of heaven. The confideration of 
 this enjoyment, fometimes prompts the mind to 
 
 O 2
 
 EXTRACTS from 
 
 foar, or to afcend gradually to tl e I .main, 
 
 where we may be taught the ways of right eoul- 
 
 nefs, and I 'a the | of true p< 
 
 but how fait we defcend to the place from whence 
 we cair.i* ! h w predpitati do we drop into 
 fome region of darknefs ! for lurcly there are 
 many degrees ; but happy are they who are re- 
 ned from its power. May we not jultly deem 
 ourfelves, when under any entanglement, any fet- 
 ter that prevents our deeds being brought to 
 true l'g''t, the light of the Lamb, as alienated, in 
 part, from the Father of mercies, and eftran 
 from His celcitial fpring ! how neceflary therefore 
 is it for us to watch at all feafons, in i\ 
 of peace, as well as in the fpiritual warfare ; for 
 we know not when the hour of temptation O 
 eth, and our fortification may prevent the 
 ment. How preferving is that lai ■■> " I will 
 
 t me to my watch tower;" and what a favour it 
 is, our not being ignorant, that the Das E "I the 
 Lord is a tower to the righteous; 
 
 ioth month 1777 — I expect this will find thee 
 
 at , where 1 wi(h thy vifil to be attended 
 
 with more folic] fatis faction than thou looked for; 
 
 if not, it may be no I .jii.ible. My v ; ■ ftnaU 
 
 ice has taught mc, that endeavouring to 
 
 keep near t" the Fountain of life, in company 
 
 whei arifings are evidently fupprefled, often 
 
 . more to our real growth in t! ■' or 
 
 true • ii, than the caly trjoyment of valuable 
 
 Is company, with whom wc are not driven 
 
 to our refjge.
 
 LETTERS. 293 
 
 1 2th month 1777 — I doubt not but thou hall 
 thought, with myfelf, the conduct of the genera- 
 lity of young men to be painful ; for what num- 
 bers do we fee of thefe, who, prompted by the 
 irregularity of youthful fervour, fuffer their minds 
 to be entangled with every fluttering object of 
 vanity •, little confidering that they are expofing 
 themfelves to innumerable forrows, and inconfider- 
 ately and rapidly purfuing an Ignis-fatuus, which 
 will lead them into a labyrinth of perplexities. Oh ! 
 could they, inftead of this, centre and retire to 
 that reverent fear in themfelves, which would 
 prove a fountain of life, preferving from the fnares 
 of death, there is no reafon to doubt that the inex- 
 hauftibie Fountain, would not only turn their feet 
 into the path of peace, but fo far eftablifh their 
 goings therein, that every important concern of 
 their lives would be favoured with divine directi- 
 on •, and in that very momentous one of marriage, 
 the language of truth would be fo intelligible as to 
 direct them to the right object ; and then, with what- 
 holy confidence might they propofe thefe connex- 
 ions, while our fex, with an humble awful diffi- 
 dence, wait alfo for counfel from on high, and 
 to feel the fame affurance of divine approbation : 
 thus all would be confummated to the praiie of 
 Him whofe favour they had fought and implored. 
 Much do I wilh that my heart may ever be fa- 
 voured to poffefs a degree of this primitive pu- 
 rity, though no matrimonial confiderations require 
 it ; the faying of the Apoftle often occurs to my 
 
 o 3
 
 294 EXTRACTS from 
 
 mind ; " that godlincfs is profitable unto all 
 tlf.ngs." 
 
 7th month 1778 — We arc now again loft with 
 the care of a family that requires fome attention 
 and circumfpection. I never felt more unlit for 
 the taflc, nor more ready to query, who is equal 
 to it, and to conclude, furcly not I. A difcreet 
 conduit, an affectionate behaviour, attempered with 
 juft fo much ftcady authority as to excite refpect 
 united to an unavoidable love, and thefe not to 
 fluctuate with the iituation of the mind, is an at- 
 tainment which I fear will never be mine, and 
 which indeed will be unneceffary in a very few 
 years with refpect to my fitters ; but yet it does 
 appear, at leaft in my eyes, abfolutely rcquifte for 
 thofe on whom the education of children devolves. 
 Where people are thus qualified, and difcharge 
 their duty, they will find a pleafure with the impor- 
 tant charge ; (t for in it there is a happinefs, as well 
 as care." There is certainly fomething in the 
 affectionate part of us, which tends rather to de- 
 le. it, than promote the growth of true religion, 
 except it be- fan&ified under the operation of 
 the divine hand ; when that is happily experienc- 
 ed, fome of the natural propenfities become blef- 
 fings, and very laudably he' ! I : . . the cr.joymc;.t 
 of fpiritual 01 
 
 nth month 1* Thou h^ft, I doubt not, 
 already heard of the unl .1 • late- 
 
 ly been in, 1 by a forrc.vful and , 
 
 , . d ith of our dear friend . 
 
 J at the fummit of
 
 LETTERS. i 95 
 
 earthly happinefs, and to have conferred the lame 
 enjoyment upon her beloved partner ; yet alas ! 
 how tranile-iit was the duration of this ffcate ; and 
 indeed, how unfit is it for minds who are too 
 apt to rejoice in profperity without trembling, 
 and whofe affections are centred only in focial 
 comforts ! We cannot but conclude that, by theie 
 inftructive lemons of mortality, the divine inten- 
 tion is to refine and purify, and to fhew all who 
 behold them the necefiity, the great neceflity, of 
 having our minds centred where fluctuating things 
 can never come. This was, beyond a doubt, the 
 happy fiiuation that her mind was in fomefime 
 before her departure ; for about a week before 
 her death, fhe told her hufband, " that her 
 mind was fteadily fixed upon the joys to come ;" 
 and added, " I am fenfible I fhall not recover ; 
 and I have now been where they were finging 
 Tiallelujah's to the Kigheft, and it was pleafant 
 in my ears. I have feen the beautiful fituation 
 of the inhabitants of the new Jeiufaiem:" with 
 many fimilar expreflions, which I have hardly 
 either leifure or room to infert j but the foregoing 
 will give thee an idea of the comfortable ftate her 
 mind was in, which fhe appeared to preferve to 
 the laft. 
 
 The two following pieces of religious poetry ap- 
 pear to have been compofed, the firft, in the 
 year 1778, foon after her return from a vifit to 
 fome of her friends, and the latter, fome confi- 
 derable tans afterwards; and as they are folec":ri 
 
 Q a
 
 2 9 6 EXTRACTS from 
 
 and inftni(5live lines, and defcribe the pious and 
 exercifed frame of her fpirit, they claim a place 
 in this collection. Though fhe pofTcffcd a eonfi- 
 derable talent for this fort of compofition, yet fhe 
 cultivated it hut little, and very rarely indulged 
 herfelf therein ; this may have proceeded irom an 
 apprchenfion, that it too often tends to draw out, 
 and habituate the mind to a difplay of unfelt fen- 
 timents ; a too high colouring, if not a falfc re- 
 prefentation, of things ; and a decoration of lan- 
 guage inconiiftent with the iimplicity of truth. It 
 is, indeed, a talent which, in its exercife, requires 
 very great circumfpec'tion •, and, in the reading to 
 which it leads, a religious guard and limitation. 
 
 Though clothed now with eafe, tho' the pure 
 ftream 
 Of focial converfe and congenial love 
 Now offers me its balm, yet doth my foul, 
 In retrofpect, far other fcenes furvey, 
 Far other fources for cnergic pow'rs. 
 How can my pen pourtray the deep diftrefs, 
 How paint the angniih of a heart that bled, 
 Or how defcribe the current as it flou'd 
 From furrow's briny deeps ? It fails ; and loft 
 In recollection's ms , the mind that fit, 
 Can only now explore the ambient main, 
 Which, with impet'ous hafte, my little bark 
 Sow'dj and leeui'd to Gale it in th' abyfs.
 
 LETTER S. 297 
 
 But fay, why funk it not ? by what kind hand 
 Was it fuftain'd ? or why was it not driv'n 
 Againft that rock, on which fo many fplit, 
 And pour their mournful accents to the waves ? 
 'Twas not thyfelf that did fupport ; 'twas not 
 Thy ftrength bore up : thou canft not thus convert 
 Th' o'erwhelming furge of mourning into joy. 
 Then who ? that great I AM, that Majefty 
 "Who made the buih his temple, and whofe flames 
 Confum'd it not ; who breaketh by his word, 
 And with confolatory bands binds up ; 
 Did he not condefcend to intervene ? 
 Did he not fay ? " be ftill, it is enough," 
 Yea, with companionate regard, pour'd in 
 The wine and oil. Forget it not, my foul ! 
 Nor feek a greater joy : yet patient be 
 In fuffering '5 in. feafons of diftrefs, 
 "When nature pours her bitters in thy heart, 
 "When heav 'n feems brafs, and earth with iron bars 
 Doth hold its cheering goodlinefs from thee ; 
 Then with a calm reigned mind give up, 
 Freely furrender all thou calleft thine ; 
 No longer reft on Jordan's banks, but with 
 Stability ftep in, and learn to know 
 That ftones there are which for memorials {erve ; 
 Then bring them up from thence, as proofs where 
 
 thou 
 Haft been, and therewith raife thine Ebenezer. 
 But ah ! how thoughtlefs in this .profp'rous ftate, 
 "Which now I view, but not with equal eye j 
 Yet humbled in the duft, implore thy aid, 
 
 OS
 
 208 EXT R ACTS 
 
 Thy care, thou benefacl 
 
 Can I, aroidft each finding feci :cl 
 
 And cull the ( and tl all 
 
 That's tiered ? Hew render thee thy di 
 
 For benefits, " thy mercy and thy truth 
 
 Through ev*ry difpenfation of th) . 
 
 Through ev'rv min'ftration of th] orients, 
 
 Grant, ah! grant, . . afed fpirit 3 
 
 That To, thv great fupreme coi 
 
 May t : I, and mine as clay be forn 
 
 Andy;, my friends! ■•• were and . 
 
 The fweet endear'd i nions of my lii 
 
 Ah ! may we to; others bl( QBi s .!. 
 
 Soften each (brrow, ii termix eac 
 th unity of fp:r;t fo ar above 
 Thefe tranfitory thi 
 Together drink tl :dwinej 
 
 And in that pure and puriJ .ream, 
 
 Which from the throne of the molt High proceeds, 
 Witnefs our minds 1 
 
 foul afcends 
 Above thefe trj nfi 
 An.. I with fongs as in the nig 
 
 She to the m< s 
 
 b harp and pipe, to celebrate 
 of Zion's King, 
 a weaned mind proftrate, 
 :ng br
 
 LETTERS. 299 
 
 Prepare the off'ring, facred flame, 
 
 And confecrate my ground, 
 That, by the virtue of thy name, 
 
 Acceptance may be found. 
 
 Thy gracious majefty that deigns 
 
 The contrite foul to hear, 
 Thy wifdom that forever reigns, 
 
 i5id humbled minds draw near. 
 
 Shall I repine then to prefent 
 
 The off'ring of my will, 
 Shall I ungratefully ccnient 
 
 Th' immortal birth to kill ? 
 
 Forbid it Lord ! and aid my foul 
 
 The conflicts to endure, 
 Which, thro' thy merciful controul, 
 
 Make ail things new and pure. 
 
 O grant thy all-fuftaining arm 
 
 My drooping mind to bear, 
 And with thy confolations warm 
 
 Preferve me from defpair. 
 
 Thou know'ft the tribulated path, 
 
 Which leads from death to life, 
 Thou know'ft the baneful dragon's wrath, 
 
 His enmity and ftrife. 
 
 Thy light and truth, moft gracious God, 
 
 Withhold not from my foul ; 
 Ncr yet thy wife chaftifing rod, 
 
 Nor David's warning pool.
 
 3oo EXTRACTS from 
 
 In faith, and patience, centre deep 
 
 The myfe'rics thou reveals ; 
 And, with an everlafting fleep, 
 
 And thy immortal feals, 
 
 Envelope each unworthy view ; 
 
 That fanclified aright, 
 Thy glorious caufe I may purfue, 
 
 And witnefs to the light. 
 
 Thus thro' the few fucceeding ft. 
 
 Appointed me to run, 
 Thy honour may be all in all, 
 
 Thy pru. ae be fun^ 
 
 I ft month 1779 — The rc-cftabliflimcnt of our 
 own, or our friends' health, from the verge of 
 that eternity to which we are haftening, ought to 
 excite deep gratitude of mind, and lead to a ft ill 
 
 greater degree of obedience and preparation for 
 the final call. The feafons which I palled, and the 
 meditations with which my mind was fupported, 
 when watching over my departing friend', arc, I 
 think I may fay, continually before me. How low 
 and how groveling appeared every mundane thing ! 
 How infignificant the moft dcfirable connexions in 
 life, when compared with that certain portion of 
 ha; , that unbounded fphcrc of felicity, which 
 
 is referved for the pure in heart ! even the (bong 
 1 of friendfhip and love were fubfervicnt to thefe
 
 LETTERS. 301 
 
 feelings j infomuch that I have queried, when re- 
 flecting how thefe fetters to our diflblution were 
 removed, whilft thofe important profpedts were be- 
 fore me, " what ailed thee, oh thou fea, that thou 
 fleddeft, thou Jordan, that thou waft driven back, 
 ye mountains, that ye fkipped like rams, and ye 
 little hills, like lambs !" But alas ! this lafted not 
 long ; for when the folemn, awful mefTenger had 
 proclaimed liberty to a captive fpkit, and tranflated 
 it to where mine could not afcend, then arofe every 
 natural emotion, and inftructed me, that in a conti- 
 nual warfare confifted my peace. But what can I now 
 fay ? for on thefe things, as on the manna that was 
 gathered yefterday, am I too apt to live, without 
 enough feeking the frefh defcendings of celeftial 
 food, and patiently fubmitting to that creative pow- 
 er, which would form us into the ftate of a little 
 child. The aptitude of my difpofition to rife above 
 the humbling principle of truth, and form to my- 
 felf a likenefs which may be compared to a mar- 
 ble ftatue, or an image of fubftantial good, often 
 leads my mind into deep lamentation and mourn- 
 ing ; with a painful fear, that I fhall never be en- 
 titled to the handing forth of the royal fcepter, the 
 mark of divine approbation ; but to that fentence 
 of depart, and being fet as on the left hand : yet 
 when we furvey thefe fleeting moments, or rather 
 look over them to the endlefs ages that enfue, 
 we cannot but conclude, that nothing fhort of a 
 ftate of infatuation would lead us to exchange, or 
 even rifque our everlafting well-being, for the ve- 
 ry beft things of this world.
 
 3d EX f R A C T S from 
 
 4th month 1 - 79 — Al.is ! how is a 1 irge degree of 
 truth, inward excellence, and whatever <.onititutes 
 true lovelinefs, removed ! how is the beaut] fallen ! 
 AA'ei to us her friends ; but to that im- 
 
 mortal fpirit in her which has long, in profpecl of a 
 future glorious admiffion into the celeftial regions of 
 
 'it, been willing to defcend into the deeps, a:.d 
 there behold the marvellotis works of Him whom ; 
 
 rved, it is a happy let. Though lhe differed much, 
 though forrow came in the night, in the clofe of a 
 world wherein lhe had many troubles, yet joy has, I 
 doubt not, fprung in the morning, in the opening of 
 an en . How juftiy may wc re on iur 
 
 ... count, who was counted worthy of ft) an en- 
 
 trance to where the aged can but hope to be, and 
 whole work is done : a circumftance which the im- 
 patient mind, 1 believe, often wiihes for. A la- 
 mentation for thole who knew her worth, and who 
 hoped for a future uniting with her in the covenant 
 of life, and of that wifdom which is from above, 
 may, with unfeigned propriety, be adopted. Ft r 
 my own part, all that was within me, (when I feu: 
 what thy intelligence was 1 * fecmed (truck with a 
 ment, and was loft for a time in reflection on her 
 great and awful change; but when I recollected 
 myfelf, that lhe was forever removed-, and that, 
 through the intricacies of life, I was left to move 
 without her friendly alViftanccs, and fellow-feeling 
 mind, a deep fenfe of mourning enfued : for from 
 fo fhort, and even from a Ion;' intcrcourfc, I think 
 1 never reaped fo much folid benefit v ith any. 
 And alas! ihort lighted as I was, I hr ' it an
 
 LETTERS. 303 
 
 carncft of fomc future fellowship in this life •, ; 
 that, through the various trials that attended it, a 
 providential help might be difpenfed us through 
 each other. But now, I find it was the fulnefs ~.- 
 lotted us, and that, like Jonah's gourd, it fprung 
 to me in a night, and has withered before the 
 brightnefs of the day ; withered in a time wherein 
 my weaknefs leads me too much to lean on fuch 
 helps. But this Ihock relaxes the delire, and points 
 to the ftrong tower, the refuge of the righteous, 
 where alone is true fafety j and oh ! may we flee 
 thither, for the habitation is quiet and lure. I very 
 much lympathize with you in the prefent trial, the 
 lofs of fo near and valuable a friend. Your attach- 
 ment I believe was ftrong, and the feparation hard ; 
 but how much more profitable, if, inftcad of an 
 unavailing forrow, we confider the church's lofs ; 
 that one who filled an ufeful fphere is removed, 
 and consequently, that that (hare is left to devolve 
 upon the fhouiders of fome } I fay, if we confider 
 and look fuffieiently at this, being willing to ftep, 
 if required, into her path, (which I know was fe- 
 cretly exercifed, not only for herfelf, but for the 
 profperity of the great and noble caufe), and there- 
 by redeem the lofs, how acceptable muft that tri- 
 bute be, in the fight of Him who fees not as man 
 fees ■, and, if it fpring from a heart devoted to the 
 work rather than the reward, how truly profitable 
 to ourfelves ! The end of the righteous is defina- 
 ble, in whatever ftage of life it arrives ; but for my 
 own part, if I could hope mine would be fuch, I 
 own I cannot help feeling a wilh, that its approach
 
 304 EXTRACTS from 
 
 might be in the early or middle part : in what the 
 dclire originates, I cannot pretend to fay, hut it 
 is, perhaps, in forae unjustifiable part of illf-love. 
 
 6th month 1779 — How acceptable was thy ac- 
 count of the latter, and lalt end of our beloved 
 friend ! My mind often recurs to it for hope, and 
 for ftrength to peri'evere and to obtain j but there 
 appears Jo much to conltitute our claim to the 
 peaceful abode, into which the righteous only can en- 
 ter, that my mind enjoys but a fmall portion of 
 faith to believe it will ever reach its confines ; 
 yet I am fometimes led to confider, whether our 
 refearches a*fter happinefs, are not too much ac- 
 tuated by principles of felf-love ; and whether it 
 is confiftent with the benevolence which the gof- 
 pel inculcates, that in all our concerns, and the 
 exercife of our greatefc virtues, we fhculd be con- 
 tinually enquiring 'after the reward : docs it not, 
 my friend, (for I really do not know) indicate a 
 Kttlenefs of mind, and a want of confidence in Him 
 who is, " juft and equal in all liis ways ?" for in 
 our works there is no merit to the creature ; if 
 we truft not, where is our faith ? if we perfevere 
 not, where is our patience ? and if in this life, we 
 partake of the fulncls of that joy which is fown for 
 the upright, where is the glorious referve for futuri- 
 ty ? Should we not then, if our minds were clothed 
 with the nobility of the fpirit in which we bell 
 rtfign all things ? and being humble, hitler all 
 things ? and do all things in pure love, cxclulive of 
 any Jcllifh view ? 
 
 In your county as well as ours, there arc a 
 few who have not bowed the knee, nor J'^crificcd
 
 LETTERS. 305 
 
 to the workmanShip of men's hands, yet the gene- 
 ral depravity does fo often obstruct the current of 
 life, and thereby (tagger the feeble mind, that I 
 believe you often experience, a fee king water and 
 finding none •, but fear not, for He in whom is 
 the fulnels of Strength, is your refuge. 
 
 8th month 1779 — Though I am firm in the 
 belief, that if we experience the work of true re- 
 generation, all our attachments muft be tried in a 
 furnace, which the natural understanding cannot 
 of itfelf comprehend, and that the precious muft 
 be feparated from the vile, by the mySterious ope- 
 rations of the divine hand ; yet I do alfo hope, 
 that ours will be permitted to Stand, and that, if 
 we live to furvive the Strength of that youthful 
 ardor with which our prefent union is heighten- 
 ed, there will be enjoyed a fellowship, better and 
 more pure than any we have yet experienced, 
 and againSt which, all the fiery darts of the ene- 
 my will never be able to prevail. This, and fi- 
 milar to this, is, next to the immediate influence 
 of the divine prefence, what I Strongly covet to 
 partake of, in this viciSIitude and vale of tears s 
 wherein a cup is Sometimes handed, which is fo 
 repugnant to our nature, that we cannot help en- 
 treating, let it, I pray thee, pafs from me. Eut 
 oh ! that we may be found worthy to enjoy the 
 celeStial bleffings difpenfed to the faithful, by obe- 
 dience to that power, which in all its workings, 
 tends to crucify felf, and prepare the mind to adopt 
 that refined language of, " not my will, but thine 
 be done." The more a mind poSTefles of that
 
 3 o6 EXTRACTS from 
 
 wifdom ami nature, which act in opposition to 
 the true Simplicity of a little child, the greater 
 muft be the exercife •, and if it has long refufed the 
 clear manifestations of duty, it is no wonder if a 
 feafon of painful uncertainty enfues. 
 
 9th month 1779 — Art thou in health? art 
 thou Strong in Him who goeth before thee, and 
 who hath promifed that His glory ihall be the 
 rereward of the number that deal prudently, and 
 go not by flight? Ifaiah lii. 12, 13. How fafe 
 do the fteps of fuch appear, who have this glory 
 for a light to their feet, and the divinely illumi- 
 nated lamp to attend their path ! It is no wonder 
 that a way* fhould often open, where the human 
 understanding (which is dark and comprehends net 
 the things of the fpirit) can fee no way ; and that 
 everv neceSTary refreshment Should be interfperfed 
 therein. I fometimes think it is a favour, that 
 an eye is opened into this path, and that though 
 the advancement in it is Small, if there be any, 
 yet thus feeing, and preiTing forward, we may 
 obtain. I hope thou art treadin ; this furc ground, 
 and that thy memorials, which are brought from 
 the bottom of the purifying waters of Jordan, 
 are not hid ; or if they be, that it is only for 
 their refinement. But perhaps tlvy are like the 
 Sling Stones which David had ready in his bag, 
 till the appointed time of meeting the defer of 
 Ifrael was come, and are to be all 'fill in 
 
 prevailing again ft the enemies of the poor, m 1 
 the afflicted , which may be fpared in the 
 
 day of 2 ■ ral calamity. But be this as, it may,
 
 LETTERS. 307 
 
 obedience is ftill to be attended to, and the pro- 
 phet's advice remembered, of not feeking to our- 
 feives great things, but to be content with every 
 difpenfation, whether of want or of plenty. When 
 this fituation is in any degree attained, how thank- 
 ful do we feel for even a fmall appearance of 
 good j for if the divine prefence is no more be- 
 held, than by the putting forth of His hand thro' 
 the hole of the door, it ftill fuftains and refrefb.es, 
 and ferves as food for many days. 
 
 icth month J 779 — Poor I feel for her 
 
 frequently, and have often thought of writing to 
 her *, but it has as often occurred, that except the 
 great Shepherd of Ifrael affift her, whence {hall 
 another do it ? As his voice, his crook, and his pro- 
 tection, are undoubtedly offered, 'tis furely weak 
 to fuppofe that the language of the creature can 
 equal the voice of this Charmer \ if indeed it do 
 not derogate, (as I am inclined to think it does) 
 from the omnipotence and wifdom of our holy head : 
 and I fometimes think, that nothing more proves 
 the deep rooted depravity of the human mind, 
 even when meafuveably illumined with the bright- 
 nefs and glory of the eternal excellency, than look- 
 ing at the members for help, and craving it from 
 that often poor, benumbed quarter, when, at the 
 fame time, it might be faid, " you have an unction 
 from the holy one, and you know thefe things." 
 
 ift month 1780 — There appears to me, no joy 
 like the joy of the righteous, nor any unity like 
 theirs; and next to the immediate influences of the 
 divine Spirit, it is to me deiirable. But obedience
 
 3o8 EXTRACT S from 
 
 being the terms of this great and valuable poflefllon, 
 what numbers, for want of this, arc deprived of 
 it ! Yit he who is infinite in condefcenfion, and 
 whofe love is unutterable, deigns to reward for every 
 little fervice, and grants, at times, a facred view of 
 the myftery of his own church, and his marvellous 
 work therein. My friend is, I doubt not, well in- 
 ftructed in thefe things, and though I alfo believe 
 it is a time of fuffering like Jacob's, when the Urn 
 confumed by day, and the froft by night, yet He 
 who knows our neceffary refinements, is able to 
 limit the waters, that they do not overflow us, and, 
 in his own time, will fay to the operation of the 
 furnace, " it is enough." Till then, I truft deep 
 will " utter unto deep," and with an increafc of 
 fuffering, we fhall experience an increafc of holy 
 fellowfjiip. 
 
 3d month 1780 — My dear friend's letter was too 
 acceptable to lie long unacknowledged ; becaufe it 
 revived in the breaft of her friend all the cordiality 
 of an union and fellow-feeling, which I truft do 
 not originate in the part appointed for deftruc'tion ; 
 but arc rather the offspring of minds engaged, 
 (though feebly) to travail on as in great wcaknefs 
 and f^ar, and fomctimes having no language to ex- 
 prefs, either to the Fountain of good, or to one 
 another, but " fight unutterable." Ho lite is 
 
 the condefcenfion of that precious influence] whioh 
 hclpeth thefe our infirmities, and is touched with a 
 feeling of them ; aiding the mind, with a degree 
 of holy confidence, after all its apparent exclufioM 
 from the participation of divine good, once more
 
 LETTERS. 309 
 
 to look towards his holy habitation. And as it is 
 through fufferings that our natures are refined and 
 fanctified, they muft not be of our own choofing, 
 becaufe the fuffering might then, in a great mea- 
 fure, ceaie, and that neceffary heat which attends 
 the furnace of afHidTion, and which purifies the 
 mineral, get quenched ; for fo depraved are our 
 ideas of things, that I have thought, and in fome 
 meafure felt, that even in our baptifms of fpirit, 
 we would wifh to have a choice ; fo active is felf, 
 that it cannot be fatisfied without a fphere to 
 move in. Think not, my beloved friend, that I 
 confider this as a peculiar propenfity of thine ; for it 
 rather occurred as a degree of painful experience. 
 I have often viewed your fituation, (and particu- 
 larly fmce the receipt of thine this morning) as 
 almoft too trying for flefh and blood, but He 
 who placeth the members of his church, and ap- 
 points them their lots, does not leave their fupports 
 to flow through thefe corrupt fources ; but marketh 
 their fteps, and, perhaps quite hiddenly, confirms 
 the feeble knees, and leadeth them in a way they 
 know not. My mind is frequently too much de- 
 preffed, and fometimes toiled with temp-efts, to 
 admit a confoiatory fentiment, much lefs to offer 
 my friend the language of encouragement; never- 
 theless I cannot help expreffing my firm belief, that 
 all your troubles will work together for good, and 
 that the deeper they are, the greater will be the 
 preparation for a glorious reward in the houfe of 
 the one Father, with whom a book of remembrance 
 is written.
 
 3 io EXTRACTS from 
 
 4th month 1780 — I want to hear how you feel 
 yourfelves at your new habitation, and whether it 
 
 proves a Go/hen to , whole mind has often 
 
 felt to me to be fecretly clad with fackcloth, eveu 
 when perhaps obeying the command, " to v/ath anil 
 to anoint, rather than appear^to men as if fafting :' 
 and as this is a iituation neceiTary for us, its continu- 
 ance adminifters no caufe of difcontent, if we have 
 but an evidence that we have not .1 out of 
 
 the holy mclofure ; finding the fence of divine 
 appointment to be about us, no matter what we buf- 
 fer. It is not for our rejoicings, and what feels 
 comfortable to ourfelves, that we can expect a re- 
 ward ; but rather for our trials and probations, if we 
 endure them with patience ; ami even for thefe we 
 have no reafon to expect a full reward ; for if that 
 were the cafe, wlvre would be the referve for the 
 fruition of joy in the life to come? Neverthelefs, we 
 do fometimes get favoured, in our wiidcrnefs journey, 
 with a little bread handed in fecret, and with an 
 opening of the brook by the way ; and the re- 
 membrance of our partaking of this tog< ther, re- 
 frefhes and (trcngthens in fame gloomy fcafons. I 
 have often reafon to number your friendly regard to 
 me amonoft the bleflings of my life, and I fometimes 
 think, in the feeling of a oearnefs I cannot defcribe, 
 that my affection to you i, not lefs than filial. May 
 I be preserved worthy this fellowDiip, and, by an 
 increafe ol purity, lind an incrcafe of that union of 
 fpirit which lives beyond the g ' 1 think nothing 
 
 has more conduced to my con£ lence in, and fellow-- 
 feeling with you, than the belief that your reproof and
 
 LETTERS. 311 
 
 plain dealing would be as readily adminiftered to me, 
 as your encouragement ; and I befeech you, -never 
 lofe light of this opennefs, for I am furely one of 
 the weakeft and moft frail of the whole flock and fa- 
 mily, if I am worthy to be included in the number : 
 and yet, if I know my own heart, it is not myfelf, 
 but the caufe which I have in view ; and I wifh for 
 ftill more of that difpofition which can enable us to 
 lay, " let the righteous fmite me, and it fhall be 
 a kindnefs ; let him reprove me, and it mall be an 
 excellent oil." 
 
 5th month 1780. — How truly valuable is this pre- 
 cious unity which, like the oil that was poured upon 
 the head of Aaron, remains to anoint the very fkirts 
 of the garments of thofe who have obtained the 
 mark of difciplefhip, to love one another ! In the re- 
 newal of it, I feel greater conlblation than is ufually 
 b-flowed upon me from caufes of this kind, becaufe 
 there are few indeed with whom I find myfelf near- 
 ly united, or whofe regard affords me relief in the 
 time of want, although I know them to be far fu- 
 perior to myfelf ; infomuch that I conclude the com- 
 mand is certainly to me, " falute no one by the 
 way." But glad I am that there is an exception to 
 this, and that I hope I can in the right line falute 
 my friend by the way, and vilit him in the wildernefs, 
 where all who are united to the true church muft 
 chiefly dwell, and wait for its redemption : and if 
 this is not found in otir time, we have yet reafon to 
 hope, that having partaken in fome meafure of its 
 fufFerings, whether principally for ourfelves as mem- 
 bers, or for the whole body, this offering will be accept*
 
 312 EXTRAC T.S irom 
 
 cble to the Searcher of hearts ; and, then if in His 
 wifdom fome of our days fhould prove to be few and 
 full of forrow, may we not look towards the mori:- 
 ing of a better day, and an inheritance in that coun- 
 try whofe inhabitants n< ver fay, they arc fii k ! Were 
 it not, noW and then, for a little of this hope 
 which lives within the vail, I know not how things 
 would be got through j fo felfifh am 1 that I fear the 
 reward is too much an object, and not that perfect 
 love which cafteth out fear, and is ready to obey 
 and fufrer all things for the work's fake. 
 
 9th month 1780 — I have iclt a more than ufual 
 impulfe to falute thee, my much beloved friend, 
 and, according to my little ability, to ftrengthen 
 thee in repeating the efforts which I truft thou art, 
 at times, concerned to ufe tor thy own everlafting 
 welfare, by turning a deaf ear to the fubtle infinua- 
 tions of the adverfary, who is evidently feek- 
 i'.g thy destruction. I am well convinced that 
 no language I can ufe, except it be blelled with 
 the efficacy, as well as appearance, of indifputablc 
 truth, will ever be acceptable to thee, or prove pro- 
 fitable; and it is, I may truly lay, at this time par- 
 ticularly, the fervent en ;ag irwent of my mind, 
 that thou mayft come to a fettlement in that power 
 which is unchangeable, and which would, it thy 
 anxieties and deftn . fpirit were more 
 
 damped, inftrucl thee full further in the myftery of 
 thyfelf, and that ofgodlinefs which is profitable for 
 thee. With what manner of h>\. bath the i.thcr 
 loved thee ? hath often in effect been th 1 y and 
 exclamation of my mind, when the wonders of thy
 
 LETTERS. 313 
 
 deliverance from Egyptian bondage have occurred, 
 with an evidence of the Hand that wrought them, 
 and of that mighty power which hath caufed the 
 bufh to burn before thee, and convinced thee that 
 the ground whereon thou ftood was holy. As fure 
 as ever he was with Ifrael, and with Mofes their 
 leader, he is with thee ; and thy truft in him, and 
 feeking for a paffive ftate of mind in that wildernefs 
 travel which may be affigned, will, I believe, effect 
 thy arrival at the Land of Promife. But think not, 
 my beloved friend, when there is a want of water, 
 and of that refrefhment which the unmodified will is 
 eagerly thirfting after, to ufe the means whereby the 
 meeknefs of Mofes was overcome, toftriketherock, and 
 thereby offend that holy providential care, which will 
 never have thee to fuffer for want of true knowledge, 
 but will be found to provide thee with food in due 
 feafon ; and tho' it may not always be pleafant, but, 
 at times, may rcfemble Mara's waters for bitternefs, 
 yet the fpiritual Canaan being in view, and not ex- 
 pected on this fide Jordan, the river of true judg- 
 ment, it will animate to ftill greater degrees of vir- 
 tue, fuch as patience, fortitude, and ftrength, in 
 this holy travail. Under a renewed belief that thou 
 art in the place allotted by divine wifdom, I feel an 
 earned folicitude, that thou mayeft be ftrengthened 
 to difcharge thy duty in every good word and work ; 
 and that He who hath plucked thy feet out of much 
 mire and clay, may not only fet thee upon the im- 
 movable Rock, and eftablifh thy goings, but, in His 
 own time, put fuch a fong of deliverance into thy 
 mouth, as will la it to all eternity. It is, my dear 
 
 P
 
 3 i4 FA T R A C T S from 
 
 id, with a love which I truft is more than natu- 
 ral, that I re-falute thee, and bid thee he of good 
 cheer, and labour to detect every deluiion, for truly 
 there is light enough for it. 
 
 loth month 178c — Animated with the cllufions 
 of much love and near fellowship, I have many times 
 fecretly f.duted you ilnce my abrupt departure from 
 
 ; where I was thankful to feel, after a long fait 
 
 from fenfible enjoyments, either religious or focial, 
 that there is yet an union to he attained with the 
 fpirit of pure love, and that we can in a ftate of 
 mutability, in proportion to our faithfulnefs, partake 
 together of its binding influence. A revival oi this 
 fenfe, I was and am, I hope grateful for, and glad 
 to find a ilmilar fentlment in my companion. I 
 neither received, nor expected any great peace 
 reward for the offering of paying you a vilit, which 
 was not completely of the free-will fort ; but thus 
 much I may fay, that a degree of comfort 
 renity attended my returning mind. My till- 
 ing myfelf in the way of meetings, in which mj 
 tendance has not appeared to be in the movings 1 . 
 light, is not, in my idea, without danger : for if we 
 depend, tho' in ever fo final! a matter upon a put- 
 ting forth which has not a little clearnefs for its evi- 
 dence, we may Likewife conclude it to be equ 
 fafe, to offer our fervice from as doubtful an im- 
 pulfe ; and thus, lam apprehensive, a cj 
 may enfuc. And having accuftomed to adopt 
 
 29 through perhaps a willingn,' . to do go 
 h have not Dome the royal im dif- 
 
 Linguiihing feelings niay gradually bet weak-
 
 LETTERS. 315 
 
 ened, that the pure unmixed word may get fullied, 
 and the powerful demonstration thereof decreaf; 
 This is a fentiment which I offer by way of apo- 
 logy for myfelf ; and yet I would not have my 
 friends to conclude, that I believe great openings 
 are to be looked for, in every little fervice. If 
 the token of rain be ever o fmall, yet if it be fo 
 fure as to bear the companion of the cloud of the 
 fize of a man's hand, I am of opinion, (though 
 not always willing to accept it) that it is as much 
 to be depended upon, as if the clouds were open- 
 ed, and we felt the fhowers from thence. It is 
 certainty, though ever fo little in appearance, that 
 I wilh to follow. 
 
 ift month 1 78 1 — The trials which I believe arc 
 in infinite wifdom allotted to the rightly concerned, 
 are many ; of which, I truft, we have been favour- 
 ed to (hare ; yet we have no need to make out 
 way harder, by adding fo continually our own judg- 
 ments, and difcouragements upon them ; making 
 comparifons which we have no right to do, and 
 weighing things which can only be tried in the 
 balance of the fandtuary : for we know fo little 
 of things above us, that we are very incompetent 
 judges who ftand moft in divine approbation. I can- 
 not but much wifh that would grow wifer re- 
 
 ipecting thefe things, and endeavour to flint but dif- 
 couragements which do not come in the line of wif- 
 dom ; and then, I am fatisfied, me would find her 
 way to be as eafy as fhe thinks mine is, and would 
 be convinced that her labours have been more ac~ 
 
 P 2
 
 3 i6 EXTRACTS from 
 
 ccptable to him who put her forth, than flic will 
 often allow. 
 
 I ft month I 78 I — Docs not Solomon fiv, that a 
 few words fitly fpoken are like apples of gold in 
 pictures of filver ? I think he does ; hut whether or 
 not, it is fo in the fcripture of my heart, and vour 
 lines prove the juftnefs of it. Feeling has no fellow, 
 and if the addrefs be but felt by the receiver in 
 the covenant of true love, it is fomething like fuch 
 a miiiiftry as I covet, where words are loft in power. 
 Deceitful as I know my own heart to be, I will not 
 allow that my remembrance of you arifes wholly 
 from " an imbibed favourable imprelTion in times 
 pa ft," and that a pcrfonal abfence revives it. I 
 fhould conclude that to be a formal attachment 
 which hath nothing but age for its origin, and is not 
 fupportcd with repeated renewals of life. Is this 
 the inward tic that no change can break ? the love 
 that many waters cannot quench, or the floods of 
 affliction deftroy ? Surely it is not of that nature 
 which can endure the fire, and be refined by it ; it is 
 more like the bafe metal which would rife as the 
 fcum and be loft, than the folid gold that appears af- 
 terwards, and is able to endure even the feventh pu- 
 rification. 
 
 3d month 17S1 — I think I have entered into my 
 d uncftic ftation, with .1 le rfulnefs and f<-.ir 
 
 i not without an humble fenfe of the unmeril 1 
 
 iurs I received from divine condefcenfion, and 
 from my friends during the ceflation of it. And 
 not with (landing many deep trials attend our leaving 
 he:. under an apprchenfion of duty, and
 
 LETTERS. 317 
 
 many painful jealoufies necefTarily arife, left the moft 
 important of caufes fhould fuffer, yet when we are 
 in a fettled fatisfaction, or under the cai*es of a fami- 
 ly, by not being fo frequently put upon a fenfe of 
 our danger, and of our own unfitnefs to do good 
 of ourfelves, our minds are apt to lofe their cen- 
 tre, by getting off the watch, and fo become dif- 
 fipated and carried away with trifling things ; at 
 leaft with things fhort of that certain treafure 
 which is fecured out of the reach of either moth 
 or ruft ; and then they become to us (however 
 plaufible to that wifdom which cannot comprehend 
 the myitery of godlinefs) unfubftantial trifles. Thus 
 we fee the neceffitv of having; a foundation of our 
 own ; and we need not that another fhould build 
 upon us, but by that fame power which directed the 
 firft ftone, fimilar to what was and is laid in Zion, 
 tried, elect and precious, whereby we may be built 
 up in the moft holy faith. I often find it my 
 duty, ftrictly to fcrutinize into the moving caufe 
 of my fteppings in various refpects ; and notwith- 
 standing the greateft abafednefs is my due, on view- 
 ing my own innumerable frailties, and inability of- 
 ten to turn my mind availingly to the invincible 
 fortrefs, even in times of deep probation ; yet if 
 there was not a fecret teftimony in my heart, that 
 it is much my lot to know an abftraction from hu- 
 man dependancies, my feelings would be infur- 
 portable, becaufe I could not look for that peace 
 which is preferved from human mixtures and inter-- 
 ruptions. 
 
 ?3
 
 ^8 £ X T R A C T S jrom 
 
 4th month 1781 — Weary indeed I have felt my- 
 fclf of this changeable world for a few days palt : 
 perhaps it proceeds from too great at) indulgence to 
 that eye, which is viewing the difcouragcinents of 
 the prefent day, and which has csufe to run dova 
 with water, for the (lain of the daughter of Zion. 
 How are the Aarons removed, and removing, and 
 fuch as might fcem likely to receive the garments, 
 have the work cut fhort in rightcoufnefs ! how the 
 ftandard-bearers faint, and how dotlv the enemy 
 prevail in his transformations, in deceiving and 
 drawing down even of the priefthood ! In contem- 
 plating thefe things, I think I may fay, that I never 
 felt my mind fimilarly clad with a ftate of fecret 
 mourning and fackcloth, as fince you left us ; info- 
 much that I am ready to enquire, who fhall ftand ? 
 or from whence can the watchers come, that will 
 faithfully difchargc their truft upon our walls in a 
 future day ? I am daily convinced of the great need 
 there is for me frequently to be taken throughout in 
 pieces, that no comelinefs may remain to felf, nor 
 manna be preferved from one day to another j 
 that my own ftatc, and the wildernefs (late of the 
 church, may be (though not fully yctj clearly 
 feen. 
 
 6th month 1781 — I have, after contending my 
 ground by inches, ventured to let ou towards a 
 place which I have often looked at with a kind of 
 dread and difmay j from an apprchenfion that it 
 firongly refembles that great city Bibylon, in which 
 it is hard to be prefcrved from tailing of the cup, 
 ier in a greater or ! where, if
 
 LETTERS. 319 
 
 there even be prefervation from this, deep differing 
 muft be the confequence ; a ftate not likely for fleflv 
 and blood readily to enter into. I can truly fay it is 
 in great fear and abafement of mind, that I advance 
 towards it ; earneftly defiring to be kept to that 
 power which difcovereth the hidden things of dark- 
 r.efs, and {hews us the different fources of felf-love. 
 nth month 1781 — We are fometimes at a lofs to 
 account for our own actions, becaufe they proceed 
 from caufes unfearcbable to us, and which we are 
 led infenfibiy to comply with for our own good, that 
 that part in us which is appointed for death, and 
 which, by means of the flaming fword, is totally fe- 
 parated from the tree of life, may receive no food 
 nor vigour to fupport it. Since I faw thee, many 
 and complicated have been the concerns and feelings 
 of my mind ; new caufes and new anxieties have oc- 
 curred, from which I have feen great need to procure 
 a fecret dwelling in a quiet habitation, and to crave 
 daily affiftance to abide therein, that my own root 
 might not be more impoveriihed ; but that by an 
 inward attention to the voice of the true fhepherd, 
 a more intimate acquaintance with him might be 
 cultivated, and a greater fubje&ion of fpirit expe- 
 rienced ; whereby I ihould be more clothed with 
 that true humility and pure fimplicity which are 
 elTential to the caufe of righteouiheis, and necefia- 
 ry for the prefervation of our minds in a ftate of 
 acceptance with Him, who fees net as man fees$ 
 but who knows what His wifdom has prohibited to 
 us, and marks our obedience. 
 
 P4
 
 320 EXTRACTS from 
 
 How affecting was the removal of our beloved 
 
 ! Silent aftonifhment, and fecret mourning, 
 
 for an individual and general lofs, was all the lan- 
 guage I could ufe. My heart was indeed affected, 
 and is not lei's (o in the frefh feeling of a dif- 
 folved affectionate tie, and of the uncertainty of all 
 our comforts and attachments, notwithftanding they 
 may in profpect appear durable; but as we do be- 
 lieve there is an union which exifts beyond the grave, 
 a fellowfhip unconfined to thefe mortal bodies, how 
 ftrong an incentive is it to purchafe this perma- 
 nent inheritance, though at the expenfe of our 
 own fervour, and that friendlhip which is conceiv- 
 ed in the falfe refinements of the human imagina- 
 tion ; and which being tinctured with the gilded 
 impurities and dregs of nature, becomes of that 
 kind which is at enmity with God, becaufe not 
 fubject to the power of His crofs. To be ftripped 
 of ourfelves, to be fimple, to be fools in our own 
 eves, and in the eyes of others, are experiences not 
 pointed to by our own difpoiitions, but are in- 
 dilputably the way to that kingdom which flefh 
 and blood cannot inherit. By yielding to this way, 
 how humbly may we commemorate that power which 
 gives according to our advancement, the victory 
 over a hoft of opposition, and dims that eye in us in 
 which our enemies are magnified ; giving a holy 
 confidence that binds up the mind, humbly exalts it 
 above thefe momentary tilings, and, by meafureably 
 uniting us to itfelf, enables to difeern the origin of 
 our feelings, and what proceeds from them, by 
 tracing them to their (pring, and pro\ing them in.
 
 L E T T E R S. s*k 
 
 the Ho-ht. Our experience is fmall, but, I truft we 
 mutually long for that which is good ; may we 
 each be, more and more, drawn from every mix- 
 ture of fclf, and become as a weaned child ! 
 
 1 2th month 178^ — If I had known your plan of 
 proceedings, it is likely I mould have met thee 
 with a few lines fomewhere ; but a morfel of friend- 
 ly converfe, or a token of true regard, may, per- 
 haps, be as acceptable now thou art returned to a 
 more homely fare, and feeling a little more defcent 
 to fome inferior fervice in the houfe, than was then 
 allotted. Notwithstanding thofe that viiit the true, 
 feed in this declining day, feldom find themfelves, 
 either fecretly or publicly, mounted on the king's- 
 horie, but rather have to experience a baptifm into 
 its fufferings, and a fellowfhip therewith ; yet even 
 in this State, if our minds are kept low enough, and 
 in a fituation ready to receive and dwell under the 
 divine allotment, there is a Strength attends it, of 
 which the moft favoured fervants, we have caufe to 
 believe, are often ftripped on their return. No won- 
 der then, if we, who are infants in this fervice, mould 
 be fuffered to feel ourfelves, as the dry bones in the 
 open valley. Under this State of humiliation before 
 Him who knows all things, and who wifely Strips- us 
 of our judgment, in order to refine it ; how beau- 
 tiful that reply to the query, " can thefe bones 
 live ?" thou knowert oh Lord: in this humble Situa- 
 tion, how ready are we to receive the reiurrection 
 of life, or to wait for it the appointed time, till all 
 unprofitable moisture is exhausted, and the feaibns 
 
 r 5
 
 EXTRACTS j rom 
 
 have paffed over us ! A moft affecting circum- 
 
 fiance it is, that a man, and indeed a family, land- 
 ing in apparent approbation as did, ihonhl 
 
 ing fuch dishonour to the caufc, and themfeh 
 be plunged in fuch deep diftre'/s ! It is, ho a 
 a proof how we ought, in whatever we do, tj 
 fix our eye upon the right object, and to prefer 
 a confiftency with the truth, to our ap in 
 
 the eyes of men ; for certainly if this had been 
 more the engagement of many minds, there would 
 have been prefervation experienced from many of 
 :'.. fie painful and dilhonourable circumftant s. 
 
 ift month 1782 — My remembrance of thee 
 wns tenderly affectionate, and a folicitude accom;- 
 nied it, that wc may live fo near the pure life of 
 truth, having our minds frequently ftripped of 
 whatfc:ver is ti./Gurcd with the gilded impurities 
 of nature, as to ittl an increafe of unity therein. 
 When I am led to eonfider my own aptnefi to 
 get from under the power of the crofs, a fear is rea- 
 dy to enter, that the garments, the coverings of 
 my mind, which may, in fome fmall degree, have 
 been wafhed, will again gather their fpots, and I 
 become mere and more reconciled to them ; fo that 
 the confequence may be an inability to diftingmfh 
 betwixt the dean ami the unclean. In this ncn ju- 
 ry peripective of myfclf, the means of pre fer vation 
 have, in infinite condefccnlinn, been discovered ; 
 and a willingncfs frequently to defcend to the 
 wafhing pool, has proved the requeft of my heart] 
 ' He in whole hand I wifll to feel myfclf, may 
 not only be the reprover, but the remover of every
 
 LETTERS. 323 
 
 oppofer of His work. Discouragements arife from 
 without, for on every hand there is caufe of mourn- 
 ing, and the few ftakes that can be perceived a- 
 mongft us are ready to fail with weaknefs ; where- 
 fore we fee the greater need, with all the vigilance 
 we poflefs, to repair to that foundation which ftands 
 fure ; and truly thofe who are eftablifhed thereon 
 have engraven upon them that indifputable feal, and 
 moft deferable evidence, of divine acknowledgment. 
 Our pilgrimage here feems, and will prove, of fo 
 fhort duration, that the fufferings which attend it 
 for our refinement, are bleffings demanding our 
 humble acknowledgment. I have often reflected 
 upon your Situation with a fympathy which I truft is 
 meafurablv of the ri^ht kind : and have felt the 
 arduoufnefs of your path, the ftability that is re- 
 quired for it, and patient resignation of the caufe to 
 Him whole own works alone, or thofe of His own 
 pure fpirit can praife Him, and effect true and 
 profitable deliverance to his dependant children. 
 ** What can the wrath and envy of man (if we are 
 tried with it) do unto thofe that are hid in the fecret 
 places of the Almighty, and gathered under the 
 healing wings of the Prince of Peace ? fince bv his 
 armour of light they fhall be able to ftand in the 
 dav of trial." 
 
 1 2th month 1782 — I place little dependance on 
 dreams ; they are often a mafs of confufion y but 
 we art- bound to acknowledge that they fometimes 
 contain clear intelligent information or caution. I 
 believe however, it is always fafe to attend to the 
 hint, " let him that hath a dream tell [it as] a
 
 324 EXTRACTS from 
 
 dream," but the pure word fhould be fpoken 
 more freely, for what is the chaff to the wheat } 
 Thine was expreflive of a union with thy friend 
 which is comfortable to her, and from which it is the 
 fervent defire of my mind we may receive ftrength 
 and inftruction in the future movements of our 
 lives ; wherein perhaps, if we are favoured to be of 
 any fcrvice at all, it may go hand in hand ; but 
 what are all the emblems of this fellowship to the 
 thing itfelf ? what are the branches without the Root 
 that bears them ? I often wilh the great objects in 
 my eye may be folid and permanent ; that viiionary 
 and deluiive gratifications may be proved, by being 
 brought in their infancy to the balance of the 
 ianctuary •, and that nothing may rehlt the fire in 
 doing its office upon that which is light, and which 
 has not been formed and tried in the hand of the 
 Potter and Purifier of his people ; but watch fuinefs 
 is our beft retreat, and I find that without it, in 
 this land as well as in our own, there is continual 
 danger of being warped afide, and loting our at- 
 tention to the fecret reproofs and dictates of wit 
 do. 
 
 3d month 1782 — I felt a Satisfaction in hearing 
 from thee, and finding that the exercifes which had 
 attended, were productive of that peace which ne- 
 ver fucceeds our mo\ing out of the line of pure 
 wifdom, and is therefore an evidence of the 
 Main r\ approbation ; hat more do we v/ifh 
 
 { .r 1 for if that is 1 \ need when we ha\c 
 
 broken the inorfcl of hi .en to our char 
 
 i; b enough for us, and the bleffing muft be left to
 
 LETTERS. 325 
 
 that bountiful hand, which owns only its own 
 works. Though poverty was the covering of my 
 mind on my return home, yet I felt no uneaflnefs 
 from an apprehcniion of having left thee too foon, 
 but rather a belief that it was right for thee tq 
 feel that thou wait ftronger than thou apprehended : 
 and I now hope, that as thou hail afreih found 
 the divine ability allotted thee, to be fufficient for 
 the work of the day, that thou wilt be more devoted 
 to move alone in future, and become lefs de- 
 pendant upon reeds ihaken with the wind. It 
 is an excellent thing fimply to mind our own bufl- 
 nefs, to attend to the path cut out for us indi- 
 vidually, and let it be what it may, to be content 
 therewith ; becaufe it is only by the members of 
 the body thus keeping their places, that they can 
 be made truly ufeful to one another, and profperous 
 in the caufe wherein they are engaged. 
 
 3d month 1782 — I can feelingly fyrnpathize with 
 my dear * friend in her prefent iituation of mind, 
 and under fome difficulties, which may be encreaf- 
 ed by the want of feeling, baptized elders, fuch as 
 live near the fpring of life themfelves, and whofe 
 deep can call unto the deep in thofe whofe line of 
 fervice varies from their own. Where there are 
 fuch as thefe, they are felt to be itakes in the di- 
 vine enclofure about thofe I call the moft tried of 
 the flock, the poor mefTengers that blow the trum- 
 pet on the holy hill, and have to defcend from 
 thence into the deeps, and awfully to dwell there, 
 humbled under a fenfe of themfelves and what they 
 are ; and though in this day of weaknefs, each
 
 326 EXTRACTS from 
 
 member does not keep in its own function, but 
 numbncfs and infenlibility have feized many, let us 
 truft that our holy Head will not fuffer us nlfo to 
 become caftaways, if we attend to his direction. 
 
 A fecrct dwelling as in deep waters we know 
 
 to be fafe ; and, my beloved friend, may we keep 
 there, crow more and more united to the truth it- 
 fdf, and iupport one another in the fellowfhip 
 reof ! 
 
 9th month 1782 — When an unavailing anxiety 
 has pofTetTed my mind, about the fituation of things 
 amongfr. us, and the wildernefs ftate of the church ; 
 I have been led to conclude that it is not conilftent 
 1 the divine will, that we mould be ever impa- 
 tiently enquiring, " what wilt thou do for thy great 
 name ?" but that we mould rather centre deep in 
 our own minds, and refigneJly and faithfully co- 
 operate with his work in the earth ; feeling our 
 minds fo reduced as only to pray for that which is 
 the mind of the lpirit, even if it required the petiti- 
 on, " feed thy people with thy rod !" In our late 
 vifit, we deeply felt, at times, our weaknefs, and 
 when moft baptized thereinto, with our eye fingle 
 to divine help, we hud humbly to obferve, 
 then His ftrength was manifefr in our weaknefs ; 
 that it was only as we defended to the fpiritual 
 brook, and there received with (implicit)* the hea- 
 venly armour, that the battle was blelTed, our heads 
 covered therein, and ability found to difcover the 
 Tittle ones on whom the purifying hand is turn- 
 ed. 1 btlievc I may fay we returned under the 
 humbling imprcflion of being unprofitable llrw.nts,
 
 LETTERS. 327 
 
 begging to be enabled to continue fuppliants at the 
 gate of wifdom, and to attend in future to the final}- 
 eft of its pointings. I need not tell thee how agree- 
 able it was to meet my hufband at my return home. 
 On our feparation, the paffage feelingly occurred to, 
 and refrelhed my mind ; " Lord I have left all to 
 follow thee." To be employed in the caufe of truth, 
 and to have the fpirit thereof for my companion, 
 appeared, when nature was fubordinate, far to fur- 
 pafs every felfifb. enjoyment in this life, notwith- 
 ftanding I might prove a veffel of leaft honour in the 
 family: and on our meeting again, I found there was 
 need of a renewed engraving of thefe impreffions, in 
 order to preferve a preference to the truth, and to 
 keep in our remembrance that we have no continu- 
 ing city here. 
 
 10th month 1782 — It is an unfpeakable favour, 
 through all, to believe that, if we dwell in the pure 
 life and onenefs of the truth, many waters without, 
 or floods of temptation within, will never be able to 
 quench our love, though for a time, when they rife 
 high, they may veil it. The prayer of my fpirit is, 
 that my dwelling may be in this hidden life, that I 
 may prefer its fubftantial operations to either fpiritu- 
 al or temporal enjoyments, and that by it my body 
 and mind may be preferved from running to and fro 
 in the earth, with any blaft from the wildernefs. 
 But oh the need of " ftanding ftill in the watch," 
 the infirmities of our nature are fo many and great ! 
 Remember me and crave my prefervation, that my 
 life at leaft may be given me for a prey ; and may
 
 328 EXTRACTS from 
 
 you and I farewel, and incrcr.fe in that life and 
 love which change not, nor end. 
 
 1782 — I received thy aflVelionate letter in 
 
 due courle : it was truly acceptable ; and though 
 thou wall far from being forgotten by me, it tended 
 to revive that near fympathy with thy fecret fpiri- 
 tual travail, which particularly accompanied my 
 mind when near thee in perfon, and which I trull 
 proceeded from the cementing influence of divine 
 love, and gofpel fellowfhip. 
 
 We meet with but few in this pilgrimage and 
 Hate of probation, who are dipped in fympathy with 
 us, and know what it is to be deftitute of all comeli- 
 nefs. There are many who, were we clad in royal appa- 
 rel, and had the King's fignet always unveiled upon us, 
 would no doubt acknowledge us in the gate ; and, in 
 the victory of the heavenly caufe, cry, Ilofanna ! 
 with us in triumph. But what was the path of the 
 Mailer ? Was it not the path for his fervants, that 
 they might be encouraged, and have a ftedfaft ex- 
 ample therein ? He trod it before them, and endur- 
 ed the fever. d gradations and difpenfations of the 
 fpiritual warlare ; he Li it d in the wihlcrnefs, till he 
 was an hungred. Let us not then think it ftrangc 
 that the fervant is not greater than his Mailer. Our 
 fafety depends upon our watchful attention, that 
 when we are tempted we yield not; but oh I how 
 nenr does the impatience of our difpofirions border 
 up n that e, " command thefe ftoncs that 
 
 they be made bread;" forgetting that it is not by 
 bread * our hidden life is prefcrved, but by 
 
 every word that procccdeth out of the mouth of
 
 LETTERS. 329 
 
 God, and by every turning of his divine hand upon 
 us j whereby, in his wifdom, we grow from ftature 
 to ftature, which by taking thought for ourfelves we 
 cannot do. If we are found worthy to ftand as pil- 
 lars in the Lord's houfe, in this day when there are 
 many heavy burdens to bear, we muft be fir ft upon 
 a fure foundation, our difpofkions, like thofe of the 
 difciples that difcovered the love of their Mafter's 
 glory on the mount, muft be fubfervient to di- 
 vine control ; and we muft not only learn to de- 
 fcend from the vifion of light, but to keep the 
 charge, and tell it to no man until the life of pow- 
 er arife. How hewing and forming are thefe things ! 
 and what instructive traces do they leave of the Maf- 
 ter's work, becaufe they reduce felf, and convince 
 that no confidence muft be placed therein ! May 
 it be our experience, dear friend, in the few fuc- 
 ceeding fteps of our lives, patiently to fuffer, and 
 fervently to wreftle for the bleffing of preferva- 
 tion. 
 
 1 ft month 1783 — What has felt very defirable to 
 me is, that in thefe outward feparations, we may en- 
 creafe in that which is good, and that whatever be- 
 fals us may tend to fettle us the more in the ground- 
 work of true religion, that therein we may ftand, 
 and therein grow •, then will the fluctuations of this 
 uncertain ftate become fanctined to us, and being 
 inftructed in the fchool of Chrift, our fpirits and 
 conduct will become more conformable to the purity 
 of the Pattern. My fear of myfelf daily encreafes, 
 and I am alio apt to think that by looking too much 
 at any evil, we may infenfibiy be almoft drawn into
 
 330 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 it. It is nevertheless good to furvey our {landings, 
 to prove our own infirmities, and repair to the place 
 of help. The multiplied diftrcflbs, both fpiritual and 
 temporal, that have been permitted to befal us in this 
 land, or lince I left my own, have often occafioned 
 a lecret cry for the continuance of divine preferva- 
 tion ; and a little ray of hope that the Lord hath not 
 forfaken us, is all the fuccour that my poor tofled, 
 mind has often felt. There is great need in time of 
 outward perplexity, impartially to examine the caufe, 
 to fearch what there is in us that requires thefe 
 things ; by fo doing we may often fee couched un- 
 der them the wifdom of a divine Hand, ami that to 
 remove the caufe in ourfelves, is to go to the root of 
 the matter. 
 
 I ft month 1783 — I feel new, as at many other 
 times, my mind drawn into near aftec'tion, and, I 
 truft I may fay, that true fellowfhip with thee, 
 which fprings when I am capable of experiencing 
 any better enjoyment than what is natural ; but as 
 that only arifes from the renewings of life, I am of- 
 ten afraid to (peak of it, left it Ihould fall fhort of 
 its character in the time of trial : however, I may 
 fay I feel that love which many waters and feafons 
 of deep and fecret diftrefs, have not quenched nor 
 diminished. A degree of this mark of difciplefhip 
 reviving in my mind, has fometimes been as a tem- 
 porary cordial, tending to difpcl the gloom of many 
 difcouranements, and opening the view to a little 
 pure ferene fatisfa&ion. My dear friend, many are 
 the trials of the enc^y of our peace to overfet us, 
 many have been the aliauits which I have met with 
 fince I faw thee, far exceeding what I ever knew be-
 
 LETTERS. 331 
 
 fore- If divine help will condefcend to be near, and 
 prderve me from miking in the pit of discourage- 
 ment, juift keep my ipirit alive to confide in his 
 name, and dwell under his power, my heart, I 
 truft, will bow in humble gratitude before him, and 
 acknowledge his might. Our eye is now much fix- 
 ed upon Yorkihire ; oh ! that we may there expe- 
 rience the evidence of divine acceptance, and that, 
 in our movements, or not moving at all, the blef- 
 fing of prefervation may attend us. Outward en- 
 joyments, domeftic tranquillity, and the affectionate 
 regard of our friends, are all in themfelves deni- 
 able objects, but without this bleffing, what are 
 they ? inlipid, or fruitlefs delights. 
 
 1 ft month 1783 — As, (in infinite wifdom no 
 doubt) our minds are at times drawn into folitude, 
 fo as to refembie the Pelican in the wildernefs, hav- 
 ing no accefs to the habitable parts of the earth, nor 
 fubject to human obfervation, fo it appears confiftent 
 with godly jealoufy that human coniblation fhould 
 be forbidden, and that, having our dependance only 
 on a gracious and merciful Father, who deals with 
 us as children who require his chaftifing hand, his 
 rod and his ftafF, we may procure to ourfelves a fafe 
 foundation, with a quiet habitation thereon, out of 
 the reach of human interruptions. Surely there are 
 none fo tried as the poor weak inftruments, that are 
 ufed for the divine will to be communicated through. 
 Thefe require not only the forming of the Potter's 
 hand, but higher degrees of drying, and greater 
 heat in the furnace to prepare them, than almoft 
 any other vefTel •, nay (if I may be allowed the com-
 
 332 EXTRACTS from 
 
 parifon) they are like difhes that have to pafs thro' 
 the oven for every fervice, and which, after they 
 are emptied, and the company has enjoyed them, 
 need more waihing and care than any other utenfil 
 at the table ; and great danger there is that, by in- 
 difcretion of fome fort or other, they will get crack- 
 ed or broken. I look with dread, I am bowed 
 down and difmayed, at the fight of the precarious 
 {landing of fuch, but efpecially of my own : the 
 conhderation of human weaknefs, and " how frail 
 I am," is almoft my meat and drink. How excel- 
 lent is the privilege of having a monitor at home, 
 an impartial Friend in our bofom, who, if we 
 enough attend to Him, is able to make us as wife 
 even as our teachers ! the reproofs and wounds of 
 this Friend are better than the kiffes of an enemy. 
 
 I ft month 1783 — I have now continued about 
 two weeks longer in this place, and have received 
 very affectionate kindnefs, and great hofpitality from 
 my friends. Were there not fomtthing in our 
 minds that is panting after fupcrior, more exten- 
 five, and fecret enjoyments, I have thought myfelf 
 placed amongft the cordials of life : but without 
 the feafoning virtue of truth, and an evidence 
 (though evr fo fmall) of divine approbation mark- 
 ing, or refting upon, our dwelling place, they are 
 taftelefs and infipid enjoyments. Perhaps I have 
 deprived myfelf of that which is gOO 1, and am now 
 too readjr to let others (hare the fame; a difpofi- 
 tion which I wilh not to cultivate, it being highly 
 xneonfiftent with the benevolence of the gofpel, 
 which breathes no Laneu ice inferior to that of,
 
 LETTERS. 333 
 
 " dory to God in the higheft, peace on earth 
 and good will towards men." But how to diitin- 
 guiih, at times, the grand caufe amongfr. a multi- 
 plicity of cauies, requires wifdom, undefiled wif- 
 dom, that the immortal birth may be furrendered 
 to the breaft and care of its true mother, and that 
 nothing hurt it, or diminifh its ftrength ; but that, 
 under all turnings and overturnings, diviiions and 
 fubdivifions, it may gradually and fteadily grow in 
 ftature, in wifdom and pure underftanding, and 
 take to itfelf an everlafting dominion in us. It is 
 the " deep that calleth unto deep." I thought I 
 felt, on reading thy laft, fomething of the mind of 
 truth in reviving a little my drooping fpirits •, a de- 
 gree of thankfulnefs covered my mind, and I was 
 encouraged to wait the paffing away of this gloomy 
 night, in comfortable hope of the dawning of a 
 better day, wherein the former and the latter rain 
 may defcend, to add fap to the root, and to refrefh 
 the branches. What is it in us that flinches fo 
 much at fuffering ? It muft be that fleih and blood 
 which can never inherit the kingdom. I have be- 
 ftowed fome pains to filence it with reafoning, and 
 arguing the nature of things ; but alas ! I have for- 
 rowfully found it fed thereby, and perceived that 
 it is only in humbly abiding under the divine ope- 
 rations, that fubjeclion is wrought, and the moll 
 fo, when the caufe was not fully difcovered ; for 
 then the lowly petition afcends, which at this time 
 covers my fpirit, Grant me a grain of the precious 
 gift of faith, that I may live and walk thereby.
 
 334 EXTRACT S from 
 
 ift month 1783 — O this root of felf, when will 
 it be (bbje&ed ! It perhaps appears more to oppofe 
 thy fervice, but I believe it more fecretly prevails 
 in me, and is not under that cunt.. 1 and fubord 
 tioo which thou haft it in more mi: u ite things. But 
 let ns not neigh onrfelves by one another ; let us 
 rather bring 1 or Ipirits to the balance of the fano 
 tuarv, and if t' ere we want chipping and hew ; ng, 
 not think hard of the inftrumen&s that are to do 
 it ; but pafliv.lv and patiently endure all things, in 
 hope to enjoy that little which is our own in the 
 end, having it pure and fepai Q the 
 
 My mind has been drawn into great nearnti 
 you many times fince we parted. I have feeli 
 remembered the feal 1 ben, though befet with 
 many fecret probations, we night fay, We took 
 fwect counfel, and our fpirits were baptized toge- 
 ther, and prepared thereby to go op as to the 
 mountain of the Lord, and to the houl'e ot the 
 God of Jacob, where He has gracioufly condefcend- 
 eJ to teach us more and more of his ways, and be- 
 gott tions in us to walk in Mis paths-. 
 
 us not faint, my beloved friends, but wreftle 
 with Him for the renewal of this bleffing; that 
 though it may be our lot often to be feparateo\ 
 our fpiril hi iy unite together in lioly fellowfhip, 
 and th\*: pure love which many waters cannot 
 irh, nor all the changes of this uncertain ftaic 
 
 of 1 vcr diininilh. 
 
 6th month '783 — My mind u much with you, 
 
 I truil it is in that fcllowfhip which can unite 
 
 with the abfent though in futfertogy and breathe for
 
 LETTERS. 335 
 
 the profperity of the precious truth. I beg to be 
 more and more bound to that, let its appearance 
 amongft men be ever 10 mean and contemptible ; for 
 it is here that we are not afraid of human wildcm 
 and difpleafure. But is there not, fometimes, too 
 much fear of this fort, when under that power, 
 and the burthen of that word which, if it met with 
 no obftru&ion in the inftrument, would oftener 
 break the rocks, and be a conluming fire amongft 
 the cedars of Lebanon ? May this your feafon of 
 fuffering be bleffed to you and the church ! and oh ! 
 may your hands be ftrong in the faith, and hold 
 out to the end in patience, that with the church 
 coming out of the wilderneis, you may repofe on 
 the breaft cf the Beloved of fouls, and your caufe 
 centre with Kim. 
 
 7th month 1783 — My beft wifhes accompany thee, 
 in this ftepping out into the awful fervice of viflt- 
 ing the few fcattered profeiTors under our name, 
 and perhaps of unfolding in the frefh openings of 
 life, further manifeflations of gofpel light to fuch 
 as are not yet of our fold, particularly in Scotland. 
 I remember that before we entered the borders of 
 that land, and indeed whenever I viewed it in pro- 
 fpec~l, it was clearly imprefled upon my mind, that 
 there was no track for us to go in, nor any footfteps 
 to be depended upon in that journey ; but that our 
 attention would be continually required to the frefh 
 pointings and qualifications for fervice : and on our 
 leaving Scotland, we had greatly to lament a devia- 
 tion from this pure indwelling of fpirit, and unfaith- 
 fuinefs to fome manifeilations of duty. When the
 
 336 EXTRACTS from 
 
 mind, after being engaged in fervice, has got a lit- 
 tle liberty, and feels itfelf as a bow unftrung, it is 
 too apt to rejoice, and evade the next bending for 
 fervice; whereby half our commiffion may be ne- 
 glected, when we are peculiarly called to watch, to 
 md to feel every ftep that we take. Here fim- 
 ity aiul humility are our companions, and if a 
 pure holy zeal covers us, in a ftate of true depen- 
 .-, the wifdom of the creature lias no part; but 
 the life riling into dominion, and being taken for 
 cur guide in every ftep under the exereile of the gift, 
 we have no need to be anxious for doctrinal argu- 
 ments to prove what we affect to the people; be- 
 caufe this life anfwering the life in thofe that bear, 
 can expound and unfold inch w as have been 
 
 hid from ages ; and it is only by our fingle attention 
 to the purity of the gift, and tb ; of the word, 
 
 that we can be prefcrved in that fimplicity which 
 confounds the wifdom of the wife, brings to nought 
 the understanding of the prud nt, and exalts the 
 I :d of the kingdom. Thus I bend the mi- 
 
 rs of t: ire led, not only to teach all 
 
 ns whither they are fent, but to baptize them 
 into the power of the gofpel, however few the num- 
 ber of their words may be. I feel a ftrong deliie 
 for your faithfulnefs in this journey, and that as you 
 pafs through little villag i tnd towns, it m , net be- 
 without feeling for fervice, for in this refpeel we 
 were deficient. Look not too much al your own 
 ■'-., but r the ftrength of that almighty 
 
 Arm which works marvellouflj thofe that rely 
 
 upon it, and gives them faith .1
 
 LETTERS. 337 
 
 knov there is fomething in us, when we occafion 
 many people to be called together, that fears for 
 ourfelves, and for the truth ; it is well, in thefe 
 times of trial, to confider our own inability, and in 
 whom help and power dwells ; for then a calm fome- 
 times allays thefe anxieties, and fpreads upon our 
 minds the beauty and convincing influence of a live- 
 ly, awful, filent worfhip, which ftands in need of 
 no addition, but which, at times, is accompanied 
 with words in the demonftration and power of the 
 fame fpirit. 
 
 7th month 1783 — I think I was fcarcely ever fen- 
 fible of more death and darknefs than fince I came 
 here : if a little life and light fhould fpring in our 
 future fittings, it may have fome reviving effects, 
 for really my fpirits are in a drooping way, and my 
 ftrength alio. I expected nothing but fuffering on 
 coming here, and thus far it is my portion ; this fa- 
 tisfaction, however, attends me, that it is but for a 
 day or two, and I endeavour to lift up my head a- 
 bove linking too much ; but oh for the caufe ! the 
 teftimony of truth feems nearly laid wafte, and the 
 pure life crucified. Here are, indeed, many vr- 
 liants, but what can they do ? it is not the fervants 
 of -then-delves, that can make the dry bones live. 
 The little ftrength I feel, feems to be in endeavour- 
 ing after a fettled retirement of mind out of meet- 
 ings, and being willing to appear foolifh as I am. 
 
 7th month 1783 — There is a beautiful order in 
 the growth of the fpiritual, as well as natural man : 
 he is at fir ft carried and fondled, and it is then ge-
 
 33* EXTRACTS from 
 
 ncrally right to give him what he cries for ; in a lit- 
 tle time, he makes fome efforts to go by himfclf, 
 which, fooner or later, moftly prove ctrcc~tual. Prc- 
 fuming now on his own ability, he all'umes the air 
 and carriage of a man, and in this confidence goes 
 forward, till his ftumblings, his falls, and his wounds, 
 have fuiTicientlv convinced him, that he is but a 
 child, and that his will is no more to be depended 
 upon than his ftrength. As it was right to indulge 
 the iimplicity of his rirft dciires, fo now, thefe be- 
 coming mixed with evil instigations, either in the 
 appearance of a friend or an enemy, it becomes ne- 
 ceflary, in order to prtferve this fimplicity, and the 
 divine impreffions which may renewedly defcend up- 
 on it, induftrioufly to repel and guard againft t!ie 
 powerful influence of felf-love and fclf-feeking, 
 which is the beginning of our continual warfare. I 
 at time! thankfully view fome of the exercifes of my 
 mind, as a probationary childhood, frequently oc - 
 fioned by indifcretion, and increafed by the growth 
 of the corrupt will with a growing knowledge in di- 
 vine things •, lb that I have b xn and am frequently 
 re.uly to conclude, I (hall one day fall by the hand 
 of this enemy : but oh ! may we fupport the warfare 
 which is mercifully begun ! and by depending folcly 
 on that Ann, which cut Rahab, and wounded the 
 Dragon, be no ways inftrumcntal ourfelves in pre- 
 venting a maturity in the pure life, and preaching 
 by good works. I hope my dear thou continued, 
 and will continue to feel thy habitation lik.' the houfe 
 of Obed-cdom. It is indeed dhtant from us ; but of 
 how little confccpaence is that, -when there ii fellow-
 
 LETTERS. 339 
 
 fhip in the circulating life of truth, wherein we are 
 as epiftles written in one another's hearts, which ar* 
 meditated in, at times, to the refrefhment of our 
 fpirits when drooping and feeble. — It is a blefling not 
 to be lightly efteemed, to be married to thofe of live- 
 ly fpirits, and clean conduct j not drawing back, but 
 helping forward, that work to which there is a di- 
 vine calling : and as is among thofe who are 
 
 thus bleiTed, it will, I have no doubt, fweeten ma- 
 ny unpalatable cups, and render moderate fome 
 blafts from the wildernefs of this world, and its cor- 
 rupt fluctuating fpirit. 
 
 lit month 1784 — Oh the need there is, when we 
 feel a fecret divine approbation for fome little faith- 
 ful ftrvices, as the anfwer of well done, carefully to 
 centre this treafure, and leave it in the hands of o ir 
 great benefadtor ! for how unfit are our earthly 
 hearts to be entrufied with riches fo weighty, and fo 
 different in their nature ! they are indeed found to 
 be as bags with holes, which lofe the precious gift a- 
 mongft the rubbifh of the houfe. Under thefe confi- 
 derations, I am led at times to prefer poverty, and 
 nakednefs, and want, to an appearance of wealth, and 
 fpending my fpiritual fubftance in riotous living : and 
 to be preferved chafte and faithful in this ftate, is one 
 of my ftrongeft defires, yet attended, in fome degree, 
 with the certain knowledge of how frail I am. 
 
 ift month 1784 — We have great need, in this 
 day, for clean-handed, fmgle-eyed inftruments, in 
 the work of reformation ; fuch as demonftrate, in 
 the particular parts, and general tenour of their con-
 
 340 EXTRACTS from 
 
 duct, that they truly fear God, and hate covetouf- 
 nefs : for, of fuch only is the pure fpiritual huikling 
 compofed ; the church, againft: which, Satan and his 
 agents can never prevail ; whereto the nations may 
 gather, behold its purity, and be invited to become 
 living members thereof. But, oh how defiled is our 
 camp ! how temporizing are the fpirits of thole who 
 ought to ftand, as valiant foldiers, againft fpiritual 
 wickednefs in high places, and fight manfully under 
 the banner of the Lamb ! The world, with its gild- 
 ed baits, has allured their attention, and attracted 
 their fight, from the example of our holy pattern ' 
 it is therefore no wonder, if the work they under- 
 take is fuperficially done •, and that which has been 
 their fnare, pafi'es unobferved for want of purificati- 
 on. From a view of thefe things, I have been led 
 to prefer, and even to requeft tribulation, mortifica- 
 tion, and what may be called e\il things, in this life* 
 to an unfubjected mind, being an unfound member 
 in the church, and Peeking to be heir of two king- 
 doms. Whether I am thus preferred or not, I be- 
 lieve that now, as formerly, the lame, the blind, 
 . ! the dwarfs, will not be accepted to minifl i f 
 the moft holy thin ;s, and carry forward th of 
 
 ►ufnefs in the rth, ir appli I n is 
 
 uprightly, and humbly nude to Him, who is the 
 healer of all difeafi , 1 the reftorer oJ nt 
 
 paths to walk in. 
 
 2 ! month 1784 — Thou haft often been in my re- 
 membrance fince we I, and both when hoping 
 '. doubt i;v,T, I have wifhed to addrefs I n this 
 way, believing it wi 1 is in the capti-
 
 LETTERS. 341 
 
 vity of the Jews, for thofe who are uprightly, though 
 feebly, concerned for the profperity of truth, to 
 fpeak often one to another ; and the trufting that a 
 book of remembrance is written, cafts, in ibme de- 
 prefllng feafons, fomething of a ray of fpiritual fun- 
 ihine upon the fpirits in prifon •, which, though not 
 a promiie of freedom, yet cheers a little, and ren- 
 ders tolerable our unavoidable fituation cf mind. 
 A multiplicity of concurring circumftances, paft and 
 in profpec~t, have of late deeply affected me : the fpi- 
 rit of Goliah rages from every quarter : its power I 
 feel, the low ftate of the church is evident, and my 
 own weaknefs ftares me in the face. I would be 
 glad to dwell in obicurity, and have my name blot- 
 ted out of remembrance. There are many called 
 foldiers amongft us, but oh ! how few of fuels as are 
 loyal to the King of kings, and whofe work is dili- 
 gently to eftablifh his government j infomuch that 
 fuch children as I am are ready to conclude, that if 
 we move at all, our hand muft be againfr. every one, 
 and every ones hand againft us : for though retire- 
 ment is what above all things I would choofe for my- 
 felf, yet if I apprehend myfelf called to fervice at 
 all, it is the fervent prayer of my fpirit to be pre- 
 ferved therein from the fear of any man, and from 
 doing the work deceitfully : neverthelefs, the fecret 
 feelings of my mind feem to fay unto the feed, that 
 " bonds await you." May we then pofTefs our fouls 
 in patience, and not fear in feafons appointed to con- 
 tend for our faith ! 
 
 03
 
 342 EXTRACTS from 
 
 .d with the gei 
 
 . fo much I with 
 
 ,1 :.:. zx times to conclude, I 
 
 cannot hold : -.hout i n this 
 
 -..:'. T friends, have your 
 
 then do, be you 
 
 and naturally, and 
 
 tb- 5 be crowned with th.2t life 
 
 yed. We have much difloy- 
 .d fome who 
 are tu: - take from him an improper 
 
 • jle. . let us be lor. 
 
 rnler the fpirit of the Lamb, 
 
 E weapons 
 .ough we e? to be 
 
 . and have 
 , 2nd our faith 
 r that He lives and 
 - for ever, an.. notwithstanding the com" 
 
 ed powers of darknefs, of the encreale of His go- 
 nail net be an end. 
 Oui fe is like a journey wherein 
 
 ar-; I we find ma- 
 
 who fay they are : fame port, and 
 
 longer expe- 
 
 a we : em, and 
 
 we, with 
 
 bulated pilgr: 
 rit, 1 ■ * I ' 
 
 B* 
 
 t •-
 
 LETTERS. 
 
 ftraciion, "when our application ought to t : 
 
 x ample of our £L . h- 
 
 Pri 
 
 nth i h : " ? - — I am re: 
 
 whether ei :t tell. lam fa 3" ra- 
 
 ther more content? ■ ... . thou £nr x 
 
 aaihc I I ne ith . 
 
 con ; :.- ials a I rtte has done — e : indeed I 
 
 think it i : y« when w . trfeives 
 
 ering, to look into the nges :" mot . t i 
 
 book, and mc fce in the ir !.-.-: 
 
 r our " 
 ana .: " . . ante T„:c 
 
 for . 
 
 lit : nth i _ 8 • — rh wgh 
 and other dreamfiances inherent t pecu. 
 
 ft dons, may fan H at the cc 
 
 ofnatax . .::.;n; yet the p re : re- 
 
 ligious anion xmg 
 
 of a more prefer : : : - -ver be _.~.- 
 
 r bed, as our .: t ts becoa 
 
 md «re Ut trar : - . i : : ic- 
 
 ings of the mind, as not only to pr . 
 divine will concen ; - but tc - 
 
 its req f. Under this holy : d at- 
 
 -.rvatien the or- 
 
 n thereof is pe ... 
 expofed : . continual flu. . and dntnr- 
 
 bance. ..--. _:.-.. t from :r ■?•:•_> 
 
 ' - : line c I . jr's experienc 
 feme c : Ft . . . 
 
 i.4
 
 EXTRACTS from 
 
 vine truth, can acknowledge, " we have a ftrong 
 city " and that" falvation is appointed fur walls and 
 bulwarks." Oh ! that we may more and more know 
 our dwellings to be within this holy enclofure ; for 
 the incorruptible inheritance is no where elfe to be 
 found, than in knowing the divine will, and doing 
 it. 
 
 i month 1785 — There is a love which I truft is 
 
 rs, independent of viiible fign?, and diftinguifhed 
 by that freedom which the truth gives, whether it 
 be in fpeaking or in being filent. The fubltance of 
 true friendfhip is hidden ; and it is not of a corrup- 
 • lie nature, if we keep it in its right foil. Though 
 its branches are often cut down by the good Huf- 
 bandman, yet the ftump is faftcned, like that we 
 read of, with a band of iron and brafs in the tender 
 graf> of the field j and when we renewedly experience 
 that the Moft High rcigneth, it puts forth again, 
 and excellent dignity is added unto it. I feci as I 
 write an affectionate nearnefs to you, and oh ! may 
 we all fo dwell under the dew of heaven, and the 
 times and difpenfations appointed to pafs over \is % 
 as that the joy of the Lord may fully become our 
 ftrength ! 
 
 8th month 1785 — Perhaps this may find thee in 
 {bme defolate plac, where my fpirit falutes thee in 
 
 • reneweJ I g of fympathetic affection, and 
 
 comfortable hope that, through the multiplied trials 
 of thy day, and of I lent journey, thou wilt be 
 
 fecret 1 of On nip tence, :md 
 
 refrelhed after many weary fteps, wi*h the Areauns 
 of drvinc 1 1] I mil be able
 
 LETTERS. 345 
 
 to do all things, through Him that ilrengtheneth 
 
 thee. 
 
 My mind is much with thee and thy valuable com- 
 panions, and fometimes I think I feel a fellowfhip in 
 fome of your fufferings, not doubting but a meafure 
 of them is mingled in the cup of your prefent fer- 
 vice : and why mould it not be lb, when we confi- 
 der the tribulated path of the great Matter, and that 
 it is enoush for the fervant to be as his Mafrer, and 
 
 O 
 
 the difciple as his Lord. The wife purpofes of the 
 great Potter are not always feen •, there are many 
 things in the procefs of forming the clay, or a peo<- 
 ple to His praife, the neceflity whereof is not always 
 manifeft to thofe that ftand by ; and I have thought 
 that in the line you are, have been, or may be led 
 in, fome amongft you may find openings to fervices, 
 which not being found in the pages of paft experience, 
 may occahon doubts and difmay, and perhaps a pro- 
 fitable query, hath the Lord done this ? yet it is al- 
 io profitable to remember, that it is not for the in- 
 ftrumcnt to fay to him that ufeth it, " what doeft 
 thou ?" I do not wonder at your feelings in being 
 io Separated in perfon from the vilible church. I re- 
 member, though in a lefs degree, fimilar impreffions 
 which have never left me ; and indeed my mind is 
 comforted in finding an encreaiing attachment to, and 
 value for the precious fellowship of the brotherhood, 
 though it is not always found in an entire Similarity 
 of profpects, and of ways and means of profecuting 
 good, fo much as in an uniform, upright concern 
 for the prosperity of the caufe, which under the iha- 
 
 0.5
 
 ?4 <J EXTRACTS jrom 
 
 dow of heavenly inftrucTion, is one of the beft ce- 
 ments that fellow travellers can experience. We 
 fhould be glad, in our paiTing along, to find mere 
 of it ; and were this united engagement to appear 
 in an honeft fearch into the real ftate of indivi- 
 duals, of families, and of meetings, feme of jcr : - 
 cho's walls might fall in the conteft, and people's 
 attention get turned to defolated Jerufulem. But 
 it is a land of mills and fogs, yea, in feme places, 
 of clouds and of thick darknefs : may that over-n; ing 
 power which lias its v/ays in the deeps, dilpcl 
 thefe temporary things, and ufher in a greater dil- 
 p!ay of pure light, that they who arc engaged to 
 work, and arc appointed for it, may work in the 
 light, and fully approve themfelves children thereof. 
 
 iith month 1785 — 1 feel for , and wifh 
 
 her an increafe of faith, or a more free excrcife of 
 that which ihe has, that fo, it may fully be accom- 
 panied with fuch works as the great Father of the 
 family has afhgned her •, perhaps both fhc and I 
 would fare better, did we look more inward and 
 lefs outward in our reflccVions upon ourfelvcs, and 
 for every future fupply of wifdom and ftrength. 
 It is Purely a wonderful attainment to live by faith j 
 it i.i deep beyond human penetration, and feems to 
 comprehend all that is needful for a follower of 
 Chrift to experience : but the trial of it remains to 
 he more precious than that of gold, and prcfr-ibiC 
 to the beft of our faculties that we can fubftitn'e 
 
 for it. Foor flic has often felt near to my 
 
 life. It is the poor th.it can mo ft feelingly falutc 
 the poor, aid dip with them in their afflictions ;
 
 L E T T E R S. 347 
 
 go with them to the houfe of mourning ; and, 
 when the holy anointing is poured forth, rejoice to- 
 gether in hope. 
 
 I ft month 1786 — I hope that county is by this 
 time profitably vifited, or rather the feed therein, 
 a place where I once thought it was the hardeft to 
 find (however in myfelf) of any I was ever in. 
 But places and perfons alter •, and where death 
 molt reigned, perhaps life may now moft eminently 
 abound ; and life is never more acceptable than 
 when it fucceeds a total death, nor light, than 
 when it fprings out of the greateft obfcurity. 
 To dwell with that which teaches to die daily, and 
 to be preferved from the fleep of carnal death, is 
 an attainment I fometimes covet •, but fieih and 
 blood had rather be fuftained with a little of yefter- 
 dny's manna, and retain a former evidence of 
 life, than undergo, from day to day, in religious 
 fervices, the conflicting exercife of being buried in 
 baptiftii, though it is bleffed with the refurrection 
 of divine virtue and power : and the reafon I ap- 
 prehend is, becaufe no fiefh can glory herein , it 
 therefore oppoles this work, and the refitting of 
 this oppofition with the little ftrength we have, 
 truly occasions a continual warfare to the chriftian 
 
 traveller. The prefent is a fcene of conflict 
 
 and probation ; but when we are ftrengthened to 
 look over it, to that glorious habitation, whofe 
 w r alls are falvation, whofe gates are praife, and 
 whole inhabitants no more fay they are fick ; there 
 is Something fo animating in the profpcct., that Ave 
 are willing to endure all things to attain it. Let us
 
 3^3 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 then take courage in hope, and faithfully endeavour 
 to Jo our prefent beft. 
 
 4tli month 1786 — We have often converfed 
 about friends in Ireland, and felt the glow of true 
 love therein ; which, tho' not much cxpreficd 
 to themfelves, is yet a living fpark in all our 
 brcafb, which many waters cannot quench ; nor 
 will long feparation be able to erafe thofe epiftlej 
 which are written by the finger thereof, and in 
 which there is a liberty fometimes allowed for the 
 fpirit to meditr.t:, with a degree of (lengthening 
 confolation, efpecially when, by the clearnefs of 
 the charactcis, we find one another as fellow pil- 
 grims, travelling after the refurrection of pure 
 life, and making fteady advances towards that city 
 which hath foundations. Upon this object I 
 fometimes fix my eye, with renewed resolutions, 
 thro' holy help, to prefs forward thro' the diffi- 
 culties of the prefent fcene, and to count all tilings 
 but as drofs and dung that I may win Chrift, and 
 be found in him ; not having on my own righteouk 
 nefs, but the righteoufnefs of faith in Chrifr, that 
 thereby I may attain the rcfurrcc~tion of His 
 power, the fcllowlhip of His fulTerings, and be 
 made conformable to His death. The fpirit is 
 willing thus to endure, but the flcfh and its inhe- 
 rent propenfity to cafe, creates a warfare, wherein 
 I fometimes fear, the natural and beft life will en- 
 tirely fall. 
 
 5th month 1786 — We are fometimes like' pil- 
 grims whofe faith and patience arc at a low ebb ; 
 
 1 were it not for the gracious condcfccnfion of
 
 LETTER S. 349 
 
 Him who regardeth even the fparrows, and whofe 
 arm of everlafting ftrength is underneath in feafons 
 of drooping and difmay, we fhould be ready at 
 times to faint ; but it is the renewings of holy help 
 that become ftrength in weaknefs to thofe that 
 put their truft in it •, and is a prefent fufficiency 
 when we are not able to provide for ourfelves. 
 "May thou be fully grounded in this truft, that 
 thereby, in times of difcouragement and fifting, 
 thy ftabihty may endure, and thy experience en- 
 creafe in the knowledge that all things work to- 
 gether for good, to thofe that truly love the ap- 
 pearances or manifeftations of the divine Will. I 
 believe thou knoweft that I dearly love thee, and, 
 I may add, have felt iweet unity with thy fpirit j 
 and therefore hope ever freely to pour into thy 
 mind any little hints which may in that love re- 
 vive towards thee. And now, as thou haft put 
 thy hand to a good work, let me fay, look not 
 back ; and when the certainty of thy being 
 rightly anointed for it is withdrawn, which is no 
 uncommon trial, look not then to the fentiments 
 of others for fupport and encouragement ; but la- 
 bour after true quietude and patience of foul, 
 whereby thou mayeft, with comfortable affurance, 
 in the right time, have thy head raifed in hope, 
 and thy growth in religious experiences be lefs 
 fuperikial, than I fear is often the cafe even with 
 thofe who have been put forth by the heavenly 
 fiiepherd. There :s no confolation, no confidence, 
 wifdom, or ftrength, like that which proceeds 
 from the deep and hidden fpring, whereunto we
 
 35© EXTRACTS from 
 
 muft learn to dig, if ever we are rightly grounded 
 in the work of fancYification : and as the divine 
 will is our fancYification, if we obey it ; be not 
 <flack in furrendcring thyfelf thereto. I write not 
 thefc things from an appreheniion that thou needs 
 them more than others, for my fentiments of thee 
 are very different j but I wifh thee to fet out inde- 
 pendent of any inftrumental help, except that 
 which is fent from the fountain of purity ; and to 
 look to no example further than it is confident 
 with the holy pattern. 
 
 7th month 1786 — I remember it is (aid, that 
 even " when the fons of God met together, Satan 
 came alfo amongfl: them ;" fo that if he did fo 
 again, it was no new thing ; and we are inftrulted 
 by the angel how to deal even with him ; net to 
 bring a railing accufation, but patiently, and with 
 chriftian fortitude, to commit the great caufe to 
 that power which can protecf it, and rebuke the 
 adveriary, but not in our way, and in our time ; 
 for it is in general mo ft, eminently difplayed when 
 the creature is reduced, and nothing left in us that 
 can boaftingly exult even over Satan himfelf. To 
 behave ourfdves wifely in the church, humbly and 
 watchfully to fear meddling with things too high 
 for us, things into which our minds are not rencw- 
 edly baptized, is a can. which 1 «rrfh we may ever 
 rye J tor herein a g^dly ji . over ourfc ives 
 
 and our own fpirits, will In.;- itre us in that 
 
 lenefs fur which the pal judgement 
 
 are appointed, will gtv< -f what is 
 
 oppolition to the truth, and , and how
 
 LETTERS. 3^1 
 
 to ufe the armour of light •, which, when rightly put 
 on in meetings for dii'cipline, unfolds the Simplicity 
 ■of truth, and difcovers the pure dilmterefted foun- 
 dation of thofe who are engaged to contend for the 
 faith. It is becoming the nobility of the caufe of 
 righteoufnefs, to fee its warriors fo unfeeling of 
 perfonal opposition, as to return good for evil, and 
 patiently to endure all things, feeking an opportu- 
 nity to blefs, by candidly opening each others un- 
 derstandings, and then generoufiy forgiving. There 
 is no doubt, but that, in our fociety, if the root 
 and ground of chriftian difcipline in ourfelves were 
 attained to, and abode with, meetings for the pro- 
 mulgation of it in the ^general, would be more 
 owned by their members being baptised by one fpi- 
 rit into one body, and more crowned with that life 
 which is peculiarly in referve for thofe, who have 
 been faithful to the death of the crofs in them- 
 felves. I am often humblingly convinced, that 
 whatever I do in the facred offices of the church, 
 if it be the fruit of Speculation, a lively imagina- 
 tion, or only a defire to render myfelf ufeful, how- 
 ever Suitable it m3y feem, yet not proceeding from 
 fome little influence of the holy anointing, which 
 lets me fee myfelf with others, it is fure to leave 
 a painful corroding fenfe upon my own mind, which 
 I am afraid I have Sometimes charged others with 
 being the caufe of, rather than myfelf. Thus dan- 
 ger appears on every hand, except we are watch- 
 ful and humble ; but " the humble the Lord teach- 
 eth of his ways, and the meek he guides in the paths
 
 352 EXTRACTS irom 
 
 of judgment : " thy gentlenefs (laid David) hath 
 made me great." 
 
 8th month 1786 — I lee abundant occafion to watch 
 the fpring in myl'elf from whence my rejoicings and 
 deprellions come. Selt is a iubtil enemy, infinu- 
 ating itfelf into the company of the purelt inten- 
 tions, and approved ferviccs, claiming a fhare of 
 their peace, and of the fpoil of the moil righte- 
 ous victories over every enemy but itfelf. A fur- 
 nace, however, is wifely prepared for gold, where 
 this drofs difcovers itfelf by feparation ; fo that if 
 we are zealous enough to get rid of it, we muft fre- 
 quently retire to the teft, fubmit to whatever de- 
 gree of purification the great Refiner fees meet, 
 and cheerfully endure hardnefs under His gracious 
 protecting power ; for, according to my experience, 
 I take this redemption of the pure life from all 
 felf-feekings, to require the clofeft combat, and 
 moft intrepid pcrfeverance of a chriftian, in order 
 to gain accefs to that river which makes glad the 
 city of God, and to inherit the promifes of the 
 gofpel in their own purity ; where the edge of ma- 
 ny forrows and trials is blunted, when they have 
 nothing to ftrike at but holy humility. O 'tis a 
 blefled experience which my foul fervently craves ! 
 I fometimes think I gain a little ground towards it, 
 when a difcovery of its animating glory, fubllantial 
 feeding, and impregnable defence, is made to my 
 undcrftanding ; but, on finding how little capacity 
 I have.- to receive things genuinely divine, the ac- 
 knowledgment is readily made, th.it 1 know nothing 
 as I ought to know, which i:> only attuned by
 
 LETTERS. 353 
 
 an experimental growth and eftabliihment there- 
 in ; and yet fhort of this I fometimes defire to find 
 no reft. 
 
 loth month 1786 — Experience teaches us, that it 
 is not always we are capable of even enjoying that 
 good and profitable communion which, by virtue of 
 the key of David, is fometimes opened for our pre- 
 fent refrefhment and encouragement, in our path of 
 deep proving and frequent difmay ; much lefs of fo 
 refting in it, as always to be ready for the expreffion 
 of thofe things which are not at our command. I 
 
 conclude thou knoweft that has been fome- 
 
 time in a low deprefTed fituation of mind, but her 
 company had a favour in it, of which fhe herfelf 
 was not fenfible, as is generally the cafe with thofe 
 who are under the moft unmixed difpenfations of 
 purifying virtue. That ftate wherein all fenfe of 
 comelinefs is taken away, and under which we are 
 clothed, as the prophet' Daniel thought himfelf, 
 with corruption, is that which appears to me the 
 moft acceptable, and no doubt is the beft prepared 
 to receive the language of, " arife, thou art greatly 
 beloved of the Lord ■" the chaftening of thefe hav- 
 ing been feen, and their many mournings heard, by 
 the gracious ear of the Lord of Sabaoth. How diffe- 
 rent would things be amongft us as a people, if all 
 thofe who wiih to be confidered as under the divine 
 forming hand, and who are ready to flep into fervice, 
 were but enough emptied, and their beauty ftained 
 in their own eyes ! many fpacious buildings on a 
 fandy foundation would then be thrown down, and 
 there would be more exercife and care in fearch of
 
 354 EXTRACTS irom 
 
 the immoveable Rock of ages, which really in many 
 places feems grievoufly neglected. My profped'ts arc 
 often mournful when I look at mvfelf, there weak- 
 nefs and inexperience in fome neceffary refinements 
 are lorrowfully manifeft ; and on taking a view of 
 the ftatc of the villble church, we fee many of its 
 members fo difeafed that they cannot perform their 
 allotted functions, nor edify the body, though they 
 retain their places there : the redeemed funclified 
 church how fmall ! and in what a wildernefs itate ! 
 So that to look at ourfelves, at the degenerate, or at 
 the preferved church, minifters c'ifcouragement, and 
 fhews us the neceffity of turning our attention ano- 
 ther way ; inward, inftcad of outward, and there 
 waiting for the renewings of that power by which 
 the worlds were made, and receiving fupplies for 
 fpiritual wants at the firft almighty Hand. 
 
 ift month 1787 — Your joint affccTionate falutation 
 came duly to my hands, and with the fympathy ex- 
 preffed in it, afforded me a little of that confolation 
 which the drooping mind fometimes longs to par- 
 take of, when meditating on its own weaknefs and 
 unworthiutfs of the renewed proofs of friendly re- 
 gard and chriftian fellowfhip. It is pleafant indeed 
 for brethren to dwell together in unity ; and O that 
 in order to retain this mark of difciplefhip, our eye 
 may be fingle ! for this leads to a communion frill 
 more excellent and pure, than that which we enjoy 
 with each other in this mixed (fate of thin;", 1 vn a 
 communion with the light which difcovcrs all things, 
 anil is the life of thofe that believe in it. Yes I do 
 know your path, and that it is a tribuluted one : may
 
 LETTERS. 355 
 
 you run your race therein with patience •, for "tribu- 
 lation worketh patience, patience experience, and 
 experience hope, and hope maketh not afhamed, be- 
 caufe the love of God, (and not of ourfelves) is ihed 
 abroad in our hearts." Here is a foundation, which 
 the gates of hell cannot prevail againft, and which, 
 as we keep to it, will preferve us from being foon 
 fhaken in mind, or troubled with thcie changeable 
 things which in the courfe of our pilgrimage may be- 
 fal us. I hope you will continue to keep in your re- 
 membrance a poor little fitter, befet with many dif- 
 couragements, and fifted with many fears and doubt- 
 ings, particularly refpedting our future movements ♦, 
 for I endeavour what I can to leave the things that 
 are behind. 
 
 4th month 1787 — Your company was pleafant t© 
 us, and the remembrance of you is fo, and I truft 
 will continue as long as the fincere engagement of 
 ©ur minds is to be branches in the fame Vine. 
 Though, feparately and unitedly, we may experience 
 the chilling blafts of winter, and feel the dryneis and 
 dripped nefs peculiar to that feafon ; yet learning in 
 the fchool of Chrift, in every ftate to be content, and 
 perceiving with encreafing clearncfs, where the fap 
 remains, we can rejoice therein, and falute each 
 other in true poverty of fpirit. 
 
 4th month 1787 — I received a kind encouraging 
 letter from thee fome months ago, when, with ma- 
 ny others, I was about the remains of our dear friend 
 . We had been paying, for a few days be- 
 fore, the laft office of friendship to him, and were 
 witnefTes to the awful conflicts of his fpirit, in ftrug-
 
 35<5 EXTRACT S from 
 
 gling, after many years difobedience to the openings 
 of truth, for that eternal peace for which his foul 
 was poured forth like water, and his bones feemed 
 out of joint ; but divine companion was near, through 
 the efficacy of renewed vilitation, to gather into the 
 heavenly garner. The feafon was altogether fo 
 deeply affecling to my mind, which was low and de- 
 prefied when I went, and I got fo involved in the 
 gloomy pafTages of death through which he had paf- 
 fed, that it feemed as if many circumftances attending 
 my continuance in mutability, were Ion: in the pro- 
 fpedt of that folemn period wherein mortality muft 
 be put off. But on reading that part of thy letter 
 wherein thou fayed, that in thy late illnefs, thy hope 
 was abundantly confirmed in the inviiihle power of 
 an endlefs life, I was favoured with a little glimpfe 
 of the faints inheritance, which, at times, has re- 
 vived ever fince, as a cordial to my mind : for in the 
 courfe of divine wifdom, the hand of affliction, and 
 deep fpiritual probation, has lain rteadily upon me 
 for many months. Thou wouldft hear of an illnefs 
 I had at Sheffield, which occafioned my dear huf- 
 band's hafty return. My dwelling, for fome time, 
 feemed to be at the gates of death both fpiritually 
 and naturally; being in that ftate wherein I could 
 fay with the fpoufe, that " I fought him whom my 
 foul loveth, yea I fought him upon my bed, and 
 found him not," yet this inviiible Arm being under- 
 i.eath, was gracioufly revealed in an acceptable time, 
 when, through fore tribulation, a refigned frame of 
 mind became more my experience*
 
 LETTERS. 357 
 
 5th month 1787 — If the right thing does but pre- 
 vail in the approaching folemnity, it may be a time 
 of healing. Thofe whofe fpiritual faculties are alive 
 in the truth, can hardly fail of beginning to feel an 
 exercife on that account •, and no doubt it is neceffa- 
 ry that it mould be fo, in order to prepare and re- 
 duce the minds of friends to a ftate of child-like fim- 
 plicity, and that abafednefs of felf, which endureth 
 all things, hath nothing to lofe, and therefore, with 
 chriftian firmnefs, rejoiceth in that tribulation, by 
 which the pure lowly feed of the kingdom triumphs 
 in overcoming evil by that which is good. Thou 
 and others have had to drink many bitter cups in 
 that place •, and it may be that, through patient per- 
 feverance in well-doing, in fecret fuffering with the 
 feed, maintaining the faith in that power through 
 which miracles are ftili wrought, the day is approach- 
 ing, wherein that life which is the light of men 
 may become more confpicuoufly the crown and dia- 
 dem of our afTemblies, and of the fervices performed 
 in the church. 
 
 5th month 1787 — I received thy letter, and was 
 pleafed to hear from thee, though the account of 
 thy health, &c. was not fo favourable as might be 
 wiihed •, but I hope that after thou got fet off from 
 home, and became reiigned to what had fometiine 
 appeared right, thou would revive both in body and 
 mind. I have frequently known it to be the cafe 
 with myfelf, having been often worft juft before let- 
 ting out, when the mind was depreiTed with the 
 weight of future engagements, and loaded with the 
 i'cnk of its own exceeding great weakneis, and ina-
 
 351 EXTRACTS from 
 
 bility to do any good ; and at the fame time, having 
 the comfortable enjoyment of divine help veiled till 
 the needful feafon. This experience was never 
 more confirmed to me than in the prcfent journey 
 nor the Efficiency of that arm, which remains to 
 be mighty to lave, is ftrength in our weaknefs, 
 and a prefent helper in the needful time. II we 
 are but favoured in our future fteppings, to encreafe 
 in this experience, our trials which are in the way 
 to it will not be too heavy, in comparifon of that pure 
 confolation which they produce : and as we are endea- 
 vouring all of us I hope) to move forward in a line 
 of fimplicity and faithfulnefs to what we apprehend is 
 right, don't let us add to our difficulties] by admit- 
 ting carnal reafoningS, and taking too much thought 
 l>.i to morrow ; but rather labour after that great 
 attainment of living one day at once* 
 
 6th month 1787 — You will fee by the foregoing, 
 that we are arrived at the intended place of our 
 abode, and have ventured to afk at laft for a recom- 
 mendation from our friends of the monthly meeting. 
 I truft it is with diffidence, and the humbling i'enfe 
 that we are liable to err, thai we take this ftep ; and 
 j et, as it appears in the way to peace, it is no doubt 
 fifed to take it, and alio moft confident with good 
 order. We with not to get from under that dif- 
 pofition which, in the I iturely weaknefs, 
 
 4< feareth always," lefl th fubtle, transforming ene- 
 my (hould !k uile us, induce t" eat of that which is 
 n'> 1 and beget a confidence hi our own ftrenrth 
 
 an y t" preferve ouiicives. A felf-righte- 
 
 ous fplrir :.-; greatly to be dreaded ; and though a
 
 LETTERS. 359 
 
 itate of doubting and difcouragement is attended 
 with many more forrows, yet if the faith remains un- 
 fhaken, it is at times refreshed with that precious 
 dew, and the fpringing up of that well of life, which 
 make amends for all, fecretly replenish the droop- 
 ing, yet waiting mind, and encourage it to prefs for- 
 ward in the way which the vulture's eye hath not 
 feen, nor any natural flercenefs ever trod therein. 
 "Well ! I truft fo much we may fay, that our mind?, 
 iince leaving England, have been bowed in contriti- 
 on before him who fees in fecret, and fettled, fome- 
 times, in a quiet dependance upon his almighty 
 Arm, rather defiring to be fuftained in obfcurity, 
 than to be accounted any thing amongft men. 
 
 8th month 1787 — Your joint falutation was truly 
 acceptable ; for though our love was not lelTened, 
 yet the fenfible feeling of it, on reading your letter, 
 was comforting to us, and ltrengthened the defire, 
 that neither heights nor depths, things preient nor 
 things to come, may ever be able to feparate us, ei- 
 ther from the love of the great Shepherd, or from any 
 of his faithful flock; of which number, may we, be- 
 loved friends, approve ourfelves in all humility and 
 godly care, enduring hardnefs as good foldiers of 
 Jefus Crarift, and not in our wills entangling our- 
 felves with the affairs of this life ; but feeking above 
 all things to pleale Him who hath mercifully called 
 us into the fpiritual warfare. Ah poor in- 
 deed ! any thing that denotes the entrance of the 
 wolf, fcems to touch my tendereft feelings ; becaufe 
 that little part of the great Shepherd's flock has been 
 peculiarly vifited, and their welfare the object of my
 
 360 EXTRACTS from 
 
 frequent and fervent folicitude. Oh what need there 
 is of watchfulnefs ! truly the wolf cometh to tear 
 and deftroy, though, in order to deceive, he may 
 put on the fhecp's clothing : fo that nothing but the 
 true light can difcovcr the hidden things of his dif- 
 
 honefty. T have had caufe to fay, fince leaving , 
 
 my native country, that the divine hand is full of 
 bleffings, and that our real comforts depend not 
 io much upon outward circumftances, as on that 
 holy attractive influence, which at times gracioufly 
 Opens a pail age for the humbled mind, cut of the 
 cumbers and difcouragements of the prefent time, 
 into a ftate refembling the grc< n p -urcs of life, 
 and enables to lie down in quiet n ion as betide 
 
 the it ill watrrs; leaving future events, when we 
 hav< done our heft, to that power which can turn 
 the wildernefs into a fruitful field, and caufe the 
 fruitfi : e counted for a foreft. When this 
 
 good is mercifully near, and we are fin Mind with 
 the common comforts of life, there ought to he a 
 grat<hil acknowledgement thereof, :\s wrell as obe- 
 dient returns. 
 
 8th month 17B7 — Thy brotherly falutation con- 
 firms! a hope I had entertained, that there lived in 
 both our mind huh a degr coftruelove, thai wh - 
 ther we thus converfed together, or not, we Ihould 
 clefs be favoured t" ne another in our 
 
 refpec"tive lots, and experience the truth <>f that fay- 
 ing, " deep Uttereth unto d< •p." My dwelling, in 
 
 much in twilight, that niedi- 
 
 ion fuited me better than action, and the incrcafc 
 
 of my acquaintance with the everlafting Friend,
 
 LETTERS. tfi 
 
 5' 
 
 whofe name is Wonderful, and whofe works are 
 inconceivably fo to the natural mind, has feemed 
 an enjoyment of the very eflence of all friend- 
 fhip. In feafons of awful retirement, fince I 
 came this time to this land, my fpirit has faluted 
 the few fathers, the brethren and fillers, yea, and 
 the inftructors too, whofe counfel is the counfel of 
 truth, and whofe joy is in its profperity : and O ! 
 that my fteppings amongft you, may be fuch as to 
 bring no difhonour, nor be the occafion of {rum- 
 bling to any ! I wiih to be the companion of fuch 
 as faithfully and fecretly labour for the encreafing 
 prevalence of gofpel power ; that fo, through its 
 purifying and fanctifying operations, every work 
 may be wrought, and become an object of the 
 bleffing which makes truly rich. Tribulations are 
 undoubtedly the lot of all, who are feeking to fol- 
 low their Lord and Mafter in the Regeneration ; 
 but He who knows what they itand in need of, in 
 His own due and appointed time, reveals to them 
 His confolations, if they are willing to dive deep 
 enough for them ; for thou knoweft it is in the 
 deeps that wonders are feen, and pearls procured. 
 If I knew how to put into words, the variety of 
 my fentiments and feelings fince coming to Clon- 
 mel, the freedom I feel with thee rather urges me 
 to it ; but fomeway or other, they feem enveloped 
 in an undefigned fecrecy, and whenever I attempt 
 to unfold, there is a hidden reftraint, like the 
 turning of a double lock, and a wile and gracious 
 intimation, to keep in my tent. The Lord is the 
 
 R
 
 3^2 EXTRACTS from 
 
 tent of Jacob. How dclirable is it then to be of 
 the wielding feed, the Jews inward, M of the 
 circumcifion that worfhip God in ipirit, rejoice in 
 (Thrift Jeius, and have no confidence in the flefh :" 
 lor theie, knowing in whom they have believed, 
 have the refuge of the righteous to ilee to ; and 
 being thus exercifed and favoured, no matter how 
 little and fimple fuch appear, how much they feel 
 their own weaknefs, nor how proftrate they lie at 
 the feet of their Mailer, where, with reverent 
 attention His gracious words are heard and re- 
 ceived. 
 
 I have often feared that, for want of faith 
 enough herein, and a patient waiting in the abate- 
 ment of (elf, for the renewed revelation of the di- 
 vine will, the carrying forward of the Lord's work, 
 both in individuals, in the vilible church, and in 
 the earth in general, fhould be retarded ; and 
 thoie defi'jncd to be the iriftruments thereof 
 fhould forbear to follow the Land) through fuffer- 
 ing, and to fight under His banner, fhould lofe 
 that hope which maketh not afhamed (becaufe the 
 love of God is died abroad in the bean) and rail 
 away their fhield, as thou h it had not been 
 anointed. Well ! may we profit by thefe considera- 
 tions; and looking forward beyond the thin 
 that are feen which are temporal, to the tilings 
 thai are not fcen which are eternal, hold fall our 
 faith, and the pTOfcffion of it without waverin , 
 
 eing that he is faithful who hath mercifully call- 
 ed us.
 
 LETTERS. 363 
 
 I obferve thv confignment of a few lovely plants 
 to my care ; but hoping and believing that they are 
 divinely cared for, and are already taught where 
 to feck their own bread, I feel particularly cauti- 
 ous of being the means of drawing their attention 
 to any fource of comfort or inftruclion, inferior to 
 that which has been opened in the fecret of their 
 own fouls. I wifh them to be more and more ac- 
 quainted with, and fingly to rejoice in, the voice 
 of their beloved ; and I know this is all thou covets 
 for them. But Ave muft both allow, that vifited 
 minds are fometimes in danger of feizing and reft- 
 ing in fecondary confolations, by placing an undue 
 dependance upon the inftrument of their good, 
 and being thus prevented from getting down to 
 thofe nether fprings, where, with pure and humble 
 rejoicing, the fpirit draweth water, and no flefh. 
 glories. I do not mean that thefe dear girls are in 
 any danger of being too much attached to me ; be- 
 caufe they have neither occalion to be fo, nor are 
 fo unwife ; but though I love them, and have ap- 
 prehended myfelf conftrained to demonftrate it, 
 yet my own ftate generally feels an object of the 
 companion and fympathy of the feebleit traveller 
 Zion-wards ; and this confcioufnefs makes me keep 
 much at home, and moftly in my chamber, where 
 the fweet fociety of my beloved Robert Grubb, and 
 
 our truly valuable , fends back, now and 
 
 then, a rifing figh, and urges me to number my 
 bleffings ; letting before me the comfortable expe- 
 rience of the Apoftle, which I am zealoufly preflf- 
 
 Ra
 
 3^4 EXTRACTS from 
 
 ing after, that of learning " in all ftates to be con- 
 tent." We have been favoured with many epifto- 
 lary \ iiits from our friends in England] winch are 
 not unlike little brooks by the way •, but ah, we 
 may fit by them till they dry up ! however, comforts 
 they are in their proper places. 
 
 9th month 1787 — Every blcffing is at the difpo- 
 fal of unerring wifdom •, and our true enjoyments 
 are generally proportioned to the refignation our 
 minds attain, to furrender whatever we poffefs to 
 the turnings of the divine hand •, counting nothing 
 truly good but what is purified by it. This is a 
 ftate which fweetens the bittereft cups ; and fees 
 beyond the tranfient gratifications of a worldly fu- 
 pcrficial fpirit ; and is only arrived at by a fingle 
 attention to, and humble waiting and dependance 
 upon, the fecrct monitions of the fpirit of truth. 
 — Pleafant profpedls, or enjoyments of any kind, 
 are often much veiled from my view, or fhaded 
 with a gloom, which the fallacy of human judg- 
 ment, and the futility of all natural gratifications, 
 cafe upon the moft lively and lawful ides : having, 
 therefore, fixed our eve upon one glorious object, 
 () may it be pidcrvcJ fingle to the end of the 
 race! that our running being with patience, 
 the Heps we take attended with light at the li- 
 nifhing of the work alfigned us, we may then be 
 indifputably convinced, that having had no conti- 
 nuing city here, we have found one which hath 
 
 i')\ 'IS. 
 
 Oth month 1787 — As the prefent fcene is, con- 
 fident with the nature of things, chequered with a
 
 LETTERS. 365 
 
 variety of circumftances and feelings, we muft en- 
 deavour after that fortification of fpirit, which fo 
 endures all things as to profit by them, and render 
 ourfelves objecls of the care of the great Shepherd. 
 Juft to arrive at an attainment of this kind, is nearly 
 all our drooping minds are led to defire, without any 
 extraordinary exertions for enjoyments out of the line 
 of divine appointment. I feem, at times, more and 
 more encompaffed with doubts and fears ; faith is 
 often deeply tried, and iiich depreffions for a little 
 while come over me, that confcious of having ven- 
 tured, at the call, to walk as on the lea, and the 
 fupporting evidence withdrawn, my fecret cry re- 
 fcmbies poor Peter's when he faid, " lave Lord 
 or I perifh." Nothing fhort of divine compani- 
 on, and the renewed extenfion of holy help, can 
 ftrengthen us to prefs forward with acceptance 
 through the few fucceeding probations of our day, 
 and open in us that eye of faith which, looking be- 
 yond them all, brightens at the glory that mall be 
 revealed unto thofe, whofe garments have been 
 wafhed and made white by the fpirit and power of 
 the Lamb. There is fomething in us fo prone to fet- 
 tle down at eafe in profperity, that without fome 
 fatherly chaftiiements, we might forget from whom 
 we receive our fpiritual and temporal bleffings. 
 
 10th month 1787 — My mind, on returning and 
 fince, was favoured with a fecret humble truft that 
 I was not out of the way of my duty, in accom- 
 panying to Ennifcortny and Carlow, nor in leaving 
 you at the latter place •, though my ftay afterwards 
 
 R3
 
 ]'. K T R A C T S from 
 
 in Waterford was not unaccompanied with that 
 •rtiiicai lercin i i can glory, and which 
 
 was, no doubt, in difpenfed to us, to keep tl e 
 
 poor veffel in fuch a d< of fanctification and ho- 
 
 nour, as to be at all lit forufe in the fpiritual family. 
 1 conclude that I need marc of this kind of difpen- 
 f.. tions than others, becaufe I think more of them 
 falls to my lot, which proves there is more to mor- 
 tify. But though I often imagine myfclf ready 
 to faint, yet my fervent prayer is that I may not 
 utterly ; but rather be ftrengthened to endure the 
 croCs, and defpife the fhame cf creaturely abafc- 
 ment, looking to the Author of all true faith, 
 for fuch I fupplies as to fteer fafely through 
 
 tl is uncertain ftate of being, and for ability, in 
 the due and appointed time, to finifh the wifely 
 allotted portion of work, in reverent dependence 
 that that which is right, and abundantly more than 
 v.e deferve, will be mercifully recompenfed. In the 
 Service wherein thou art now engaged, I truft help 
 will not fail of being afforded in the needful time, 
 lb as to give you all abundant caufe humbly to 
 ack , in th .• up of your vilit, that 
 
 ve have lacked n . Perhaps the line of 
 
 vour proc Qg, as to palling from place to place, 
 is right j but foi y mind follows you with 
 
 a fort of re ret. tl ore time was not allowed 
 
 i . have irifii , if truth A the way, the 
 
 f milie of friends in the Ration oi ters and 
 
 ciders. There is much truth in a i 
 that the work whi< h is well done, is twice dor 
 and thougl iy be I urtify-
 
 LETTERS. 367 
 
 ing and arduous part of the fervice, yet the necef- 
 fity and propriety of it being great, the peace relult- 
 ing from faithful labour therein, would no doubt 
 have been proportioned. But this feems like an un- 
 feafonable bint, and I don't know any ufe there may 
 be in dropping it, except by way of preface to an 
 obfervation I was about to make, that friends upon 
 religious viiits often appear to be cramped in their 
 palling along, from a fort of human prudence 
 which dictates their making a long firing of ap- 
 pointments, perhaps exceeding what is perceived 
 by the eye of faith : thus they may be prevented 
 from approving themfelves thofe fimple, humble 
 followers of the great Mafter, which in the fince- 
 rity of their own hearts they have earneftly defired 
 to be. Whether this proceeds from the want of 
 faith in individuals, or the undifcerned influence of 
 general cuftom, I know not, but certainly it is a 
 fafe and hidden path which the chriftian traveller 
 walks in, when, in no refpeft, he defires to take 
 the lead, but relignedly gives himfelf up to be led, 
 ftep by ftep, through the diiFiculties of his allotted 
 line of fervice. 
 
 T ith month 1787 — I received this morning, 
 with comfort, the long retained token of thy af- 
 fection j and can allure thee I am poor enough to 
 enter, with heart-felt fympathy, into the fituation 
 thou defcribes, poffeiling nothing whereon to build 
 hopes of divine acceptance, unlefs renewed by the 
 creative word of Omnipotence, and replenilhed 
 with ftrength to hold on my way. Let us not 
 
 R4
 
 3^3 EXTRACTS from 
 
 then call away our confidence, nor conclude our- 
 felves unproritably tried, when we fee ourfclvcs as 
 we are; but rather rejoice in this tribulation, and 
 temptation to call in qucftion all that felfilh pro- 
 priety, which human nature would fubtilly fuggeft 
 to us as wrought by the heavenly Hand. Count it 
 all joy that thou art fo cloathed with a fecret fenl'c 
 of corruption, and art fenfible of thy own inca- 
 pacity to do any good thing j and rather defire to 
 live long under thefe humbling irr.preffions, than to 
 be taken away from all opportunity of magnifying 
 that " grace, by which thou art what thou art," 
 poor as thou thinkeft thyfelf. Should we be fool! fh 
 enough to think we know any thing, the voice of 
 Wifdom would foon inform us, that we know no- 
 thing as we ought to know : in patience then pof- 
 feft thy foul, and keep in view an encreafing refig- 
 nation to every fecret pointing to duty. We are 
 \cry apt anxioufly to look for that good in our 
 own way, and in our own time, which is only to 
 be obtained by doing the divine will, after we have 
 known it ; forgetting that they who err herein, 
 :.ie L^atcn with many ftripes : if this is not now thy 
 ftate, the Lint will do thee no harm. He who 
 knows what is r us, wifely makes us weary 
 
 of ouriches and all viiible s, in order to 1 - 
 
 get that hunger and third after rightcoufnefs, to 
 which the blellings and proin'.i'e belong ; and fo to 
 attach us in facred union with himfelf, and love 
 to Ifs caufe, as that in thefe days of lukewarmncfs 
 in holy zeal, when the pure feed, through defer- 
 tion, breathes the rful query, <k whom fliall
 
 L E T T E R S. 369 
 
 we fend, and who will go for us ?" we may, in fin- 
 glenefs of heart, and living faith in divine fufikien- 
 cy, anfwer, " here am I, fend me." Though this 
 feems an intercourfe fuperior to what we often think 
 is ever allowed us, yet the gentle movings of the fpi- 
 ritual life, and the fubjedted difpolition of our minds 
 thereto, in my apprehenfion, ftrongly refembies it ; 
 and if many vifited young people in this land, as 
 well as my own, had placed their dependance upon 
 the fandlifying operation of that facred fire, which 
 quickens the mind and prepares the facrifice, rather 
 than confulted vainly with flefh and blood, they 
 would have been ftronger in the faith, and more of 
 them righteous contenders for it. 
 
 11th month 1787 — It is by a fingle dependance 
 upon that divine and creative power, by which all 
 things were made that are made, that we find hard 
 things made eafy, and the mixture of human events 
 fo fanctified, as to be rendered falutary portions •, 
 the immortal part in us is ftrengthened to afcend, as 
 with wings of faith and love, that mountain fpoken 
 of by the prophet, where " nothing can hurt or de- 
 ftroy." A true gofpel fpirit Co ftrongly refembies 
 this defirabie habitation, that when, in fome degree 
 of its own purity, it breaks in upon our impoverifh- 
 ed minds, Ave are renewedly convinced that flefh and 
 blood hath not revealed it unto us ; but humbly fub- 
 miting to its operations and directions, felf becomes 
 of no reputation, " and the Lord alone is exalted in 
 that day." I feel, as I am writing, a fecret breath- 
 ing for thy brother's and thy prefervation, and en- 
 
 R 5
 
 370 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 couragement to purfuc invariably the one thing need- 
 ful, becaufe it is fealed, that that ihall never be 
 taken away. The purity and permanency of heaven- 
 ly treafure, are objects of no fmall magnitude to the 
 enlightened mind, which has Ken the fluctuation of 
 vilible enjoyments, and the vanity of all its efforts* 
 without divine aihYtance, to obtain the fmalleft par- 
 ticle of true fpiritual bread, or one drop of that con- 
 folation which is only derived from the pure gift, or 
 well in us fpringing up into life everlaiting. lint it 
 is not enough to be enlightened ; we mult alfo wait, 
 in the abatement of felf, f( r the thing fpoken of and 
 c'.efired ; and be willing to accept the Apoftle's cxhor- 
 tation, not to be conformed to this world, but tranf- 
 formed by the renewing of cur minds, fo as to prove 
 what is the good and perfect, and acceptable will, 
 and then to do it, even at the lofs of human appro- 
 bation, and all the riches of the unrcgenerate will 
 id wifdoon of the creature. IleiL we team the 
 myftery of buying the truth, and idling all that we 
 - it ; a myftery which more, 
 
 is hid from the 1 id prudent, and revealed unto 
 
 the in Chrift. I often lament my unfitnefs to 
 
 receive thefe things, and a difpofition, out of the 
 clearoefs and power of the gofpel, to accommodate 
 • felf, particularly in company, to a worldly fpirit, 
 rather than fuller r.s a fool for the feed's lake •, and 
 y«_t I trim 1 ..ft it, and have vic- 
 
 tory in vii 
 
 b 173S — To be unniflied with that 
 cellci i fpeaks of, is truly dcfir.ible, and 
 
 v.! thout itj th< prayer of a ] I lit is, <p.iietly
 
 LETTERS. 371 
 
 to keep in my tent •, and even with it, to make no 
 boaft, nor to ufe it but by renewed commhTion. Ic 
 is one of the effentials for the poor chriftian traveller 
 in every ftation in life ; becaufe of the open attacks* 
 the fide blows, and crafty purfuits of our unwearied 
 adverfary. I feel them daily, and long for an in- 
 creafe of ftrength to refift him, ft ed fa ft in the faith. 
 He many times feeks to make our hearts fad, when 
 the Lord has not made them fad, and to perplex 
 and embitter our paffage through life, when he per- 
 ceives that that is the length of his chain. We pre- 
 pofe fetting off" for Cork in the morning. Even that 
 is a burden ; and I might foon work myfelf up to 
 believe that I am not able to go half way to Clogh- 
 een. How admirably wife, and adapted to the 
 weaknefs of our frame, was that exhortation of the 
 great Mafter, " take no thought for to-morrow :" 
 this, and fuch like companionate counfel, fometimes 
 drops into my mind in the midft of my conflicts, 
 and proves to be words of that kind which both 
 winds and waves obey. 
 
 id month 1788 — Though the root of any good 
 affection be alive yet there is but one right feafon 
 prefcribed in divine oeconomy for it to manifeft itfelf 
 in the branches, by caufing them to bud, bloffom, 
 and bear fruit ; and that being the fpring-time of di- 
 vine favour, when the Sun of Righteoufnefs breaks 
 forth upon the Lord's plantation, we muft wait for 
 it in patient, though earneft expectation, that as our 
 abiding is in the allotment of pure wifdom, the win- 
 ter (however long) will in time be paft, the rains 
 and tempefts will fubfide, the time of the finging of 
 birds come, and the voice of the turtle be heard in
 
 372 EXTRACTS from 
 
 our land : then, though we enjoy it in but a (mall 
 degree, we can falute each other in fpirit and word, 
 and hail all thofe who, like Mary, are hearing pre- 
 cious Iced, Let their {rations in religious or civil loci- 
 ety be what they may. A falutation of this fort 
 fprings in my heart to my endeared friends ; to the 
 parents who have known Him that is from the be- 
 .ning, and to the younger branches who have mea- 
 surably been Strengthened to overcome the wicked 
 one ; fincerely dcfiring, that as we have, through 
 abundant mercy, been begotten again to a lively hope 
 by the power of the fir ft reiurrecTtion, we may, through 
 our varied exercifes, keep our eye fingle to the pre- 
 serving power of divine love, and to that inheritance 
 which is incorruptible and fadcth not away, referred 
 in heaven for thofe who are kept by the virtue there- 
 of, and the precious gift of faith unto the laft day. 
 For herein is great joy, when outward circumftances, 
 and the accufer of the brethren (peak trouble ; here 
 the tribulated chriftian traveller finds an undcfilcd 
 reft, and by the light commits his fpirit in pure 
 refignation to the guiding hand of Omnipotence ; 
 feeling to the confolation of his affliclcd foul, that 
 for all his omiffions and commiffions, he has an ad- 
 vocate with the Father, not an High Tried that can- 
 not be touched with a feeling of our infirmities, but 
 v lie tempted in like manner, and who knows how 
 to fuccour thofe that are tried. Well might the 
 Pfalmiitj who was fo largely acquainted with the 
 dealings of infinite wifdom, exclaim, " how excel- 
 lent is thy loving kindnefs, O Lord ; becaufc thereof, 
 the fons of men put their truft under the fhadow of 
 thy wi; .
 
 LETTERS. 373 
 
 3d month 1788 — We were at their week-day 
 meeting here yefterday, and had a large public 
 meeting in the evening, in both of which, I truft, 
 we were owned by the Matter of all rightly gathered 
 aiTemblies, and might have been more fo, if resigna- 
 tion, and a willingnefs to appear weak and foolifh as 
 we are, had been more experienced. I often think 
 that if, in this refpecl, we were Sufficiently humble, 
 we fliould fare better than Ave do ; and that, whilft 
 we were preferved from foolifh preaching, the fool- 
 iShnefs of preaching (as the worldly wife efteem it) 
 when in the demonstration of the fpirit, would be 
 blefTed beyond our conception, and made fomething 
 like the barley loaves by which the multitude were 
 fed. We know our own employments ; but the 
 myfterious workings of the heavenly hand, in carry- 
 ing forward the redemption of the nations from the 
 fall, are wifely concealed from us : yet the inquifi- 
 tivenefs and judgments of the creaturely part, often 
 lead us into discouragements when we Should, in the 
 Simplicity of little children, do as we are bidden, 
 and leave the event to Him who knows beft how, and 
 when, to ufe the weak and foolifh things of this 
 world, to confound the wifdom of the wife. 
 
 3d month 1788 — By way of apology for my Si- 
 lence let me fay, that writing, in many refpedts, lefs 
 fuited the difpofition and qualifications of my mind, 
 for many months back, than a Silent meditation up- 
 on the nothingnefs of felf ; which was far from al- 
 ways obstructing the fweet circulation of christian 
 fellowship, and Solicitude for the prefervation, un- 
 der the Shadow of the Holy Wing, of all thofe who 5
 
 374 EXTRACTS from 
 
 by difpenfations unerringly wife, are involved in the 
 depths of difcouragement and difmay, with refpect 
 to their own ability to promote anv good word and 
 work, and yet whofe diffident minds are often affault- 
 ed by the acculer of the brethren. Thefe have, 
 however, no occailon of carting ; ; way their confi- 
 dence, when they reflect upon the many deliverances 
 which they have received through the communicati- 
 on of eternal help, and remember the gracious pro- 
 mile of the great Matter, to thofe who dwell under 
 his righteous government ; " lo ! I am with you al- 
 ways, even to the end of the world." — You are as 
 cpiftlcs written in my heart, wherein I often medi- 
 tate with fecret comfort, under the belief that you 
 are, in unerring wifdom, deiigned to be fellow-htip- 
 ers in promoting the caufe of truth and righteouf- 
 nefs, and fellow travellers in the way thereof. If 
 you meet with trials and difficulties, you know there 
 is nothing new in that ; they have ever attended the 
 fooUteps ot the flock ; and when WC are careful not 
 to multiply them by any default of ours, they are lb 
 many proofs of our being the followi . linicring 
 
 Lord, which are Pealed by our extracting benefit 
 from them, and fanctiJied by obedience. Hold on 
 then is you have begun ; " count nothing too near, 
 or too dear to part with for Chnli's lake and the 
 gofpcl's ," fear not that bumiliat ptifm, which 
 
 crucifies us to the world, and the world unto us ; 
 and m iy the Shepherd 01 Ifracl lead you as bu OWB 
 flieep, convey to you t fputable intelligence of 
 
 his own will, and fo preferve you in a ftate of fidcli-
 
 LETTER S. 375 
 
 ty to himfelf, as that none fhall be able to pluck 
 you out of his holy Hand ! 
 
 1788 — It is a favour that the beft root 
 
 needs no great profeffion, or fpecious words to nou- 
 rifh it ; it is not ftrengthened by a multitude of luxu- 
 riant branches, though, if it be alive, it will difco- 
 ver itielf by little buddings, bloifomings, and fruit. 
 "Whilft therefore we are not unprcfitably anxious, 
 in time of winter, for that which is not to be had, 
 neither let us be too unconcerned, when the full 
 time is come for the manifestations of the life of the 
 tree, nor count them of little value, but cherifh and 
 protect them, left fome indifcreet hand, or fpirit in 
 ourfelves, mould rub off that wherein is hiddenly 
 contained the choiceft fruit, and fo render the corn- 
 ing of the fpring, and the genial influence of the 
 Sun of Righteoulhefs, ineffectual to us. Many cau- 
 tions are neceffary under this fimile, for even when 
 a tree bids fair for profiting and enriching thofe 
 who pofTels it, if that which it is to produce in the 
 fulnefs of time, be gathered before it is ripe, it fets 
 the teeth of the eater on edge, and caufes the tree 
 to be evil fpoken of. Thus, on many hands, dan- 
 gers occur to us in the conduct of our gifts, in re- 
 ligious and civil departments. How needful is it 
 then, to aflc wifdom where it is to be had, and to 
 ufe it when we have it ; and alfo to cultivate that 
 prudence which is her fifter in fervice, and which 
 often oppofes plans of our own contriving. Thefe 
 are fentiments which, though thrown out to you 
 tend ro fhew me where, and how, I often mifs my 
 way j and excite me to review the confideration of
 
 376 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 that merciful kindnefs, which is fomctimes extenJ- 
 ed to us in a very low eftate ; when, in our own 
 eyes, we feem molt undeferving of that help which 
 can alone lift up our heads in hope, wb.cn the floods 
 of affliction prevail, and the billows pafs over us. 
 INlay we deepen in our experience of the Lord's fa- 
 therly dealings with us •, that fo, approving ourlclves 
 more and more babes in Chrift, our knowledge of 
 the myfteries of the kingdom may be pure, and of 
 that preferring nature, that never puffeth up. 
 
 i;83 — It is not becaufe thou and thy 
 
 dear wife were forgotten by us, that neither my 
 hufband nor I have, flnce cur return from England, 
 dropped you a line. Silence, on my part, has chiefly 
 originated in a confeioufnefs that I have not been 
 deep enough in my lpirit, fo to draw water out 
 of the wells of falvation as to be able, in true religi- 
 ous fympathy, profitably to viflt thy oitcn difcou- 
 raged mind. To feel our incapacity to minifter, in 
 a fpiritual fenfe, a cup of cold water to ever fo fee- 
 ble a difciple (unto whom we may neverthtlefs be 
 bound in a conftant friendlhip) is a merciful im- 
 preffion •, becaufe it humbles us, and leals upon our 
 fpirits that invariable truth, that " there is none 
 good but one." What is this fenfe, but the anoint- 
 ing itfelf, which has holy certainty in it, feeing that 
 it is no lie. Except it abide in us to this tffec't, our 
 profeflion of being believers is vain - y we fhall grow 
 
 ary in the chriitian life, and our own righteoa£- 
 xiefs will foon cxhauft our ftrength : for fupplies from 
 the eternal Fountain would foon ccafe, were wc to 
 appropriate them to the profecution of ends which
 
 LETTERS. 377 
 
 the Lord never required at our hands, and neglect 
 that life of faith, of humble dependance upon the 
 pure gift, and thofe precious influences, hope and 
 charity, which conftrain us to render unto the great 
 Law-giver, in His time only, whatfoever he requires 
 at our hands, though incomplete and foolifh to the 
 unfimplified mind. I often wifh, on my own ac- 
 count, to be more in fubftance than I am. That 
 infinite kindnefs has made me a partaker of the 
 common falvation, has fhed abroad in my heart a 
 meafure of his love, and ftrengthened me, at times, to 
 lay hold on eternal life, I truft the deceivablenefs of 
 unrighteoufnefs will never be fuffered to draw me 
 from the belief of: but I look at the office of a 
 gofpel minifter with an awfulnefs which convinces 
 me, that there are baptifms, humiliations, and 
 deaths peculiar to it ; and that, except thefe are 
 often renewed, in order to ftrip off the plumage 
 of paft experience, and of that knowledge of hea- 
 venly things, which, being like yefterday's manna, 
 cannot fuftain, but fubtilly puffs up the mind, that 
 babe's ftate, unto which the myfteries of the king- 
 dom are unfolded, is unattainable, and the infcrip- 
 tion of holinefs unto the Lord is withl :ld, becaufe 
 they are not cleanfed through the word fpoken unto 
 them. "What will it do for us, even to be called to 
 the work of the miniftry, if we fubmit not to thofe 
 purgations which unerring Wifdom appoints ? We 
 may become veffeis marred on the wheel •, or, to 
 ufe another fimile, if we fuffer not ourfelves, in 
 chriftian patience, to be bundled up as with the dry 
 rods, and to be as deftitute of verdure as they, we
 
 378 EXTRACTS from 
 
 nviy, for want of complying with the nppointcd 
 means of frnitfnlnefs, fruftrate the divine purpofe to 
 diftinguifh thofe who are invifiblv preferved by the 
 hidden life. Perhaps it may not be unfafc to con- 
 clude, that in our fociety there are fuch defects ; 
 but, as an individual, I find it fafeft, in conformity 
 to the great Mafter's command, to judge not, ex- 
 cept, through the fpirit of the Son, the judgment 
 of the everlafting Father is known •, and at fuch 
 feafons, the mind is too much humbled vainly to 
 feed on this revealed knowledpe. 
 
 9th month 1788 — Thy letter fainted us two d 
 after our arrival at home, and was truly cordial, 
 reviving with great fweetnefs our love and friend- 
 fhip with thee and thy dear wife, and alfo ftrengt'.i- 
 ening our hope, that He who, we truft, directed 
 our fteps to your parts, and mercifully preferved us 
 through many jeopardies, will, as you and we fur- 
 render ourfelves to His all-wile diipof.il, fo carry on 
 the eternal purpofe of his will as to increafe our 
 fruitfulnefs to His glory ; and tho' very remotely 
 fituated one from another, make us partakers of 
 the fame living fountain, whofe waters purify and 
 gladden t'- : bapti/ed members of the church of 
 Chrift wherever fcattered, or however ohfeured by 
 the genera] cloud of darknefs which the profeflbrs 
 of chriftianity are too apt to content themfelves 
 in. But as the eternal purpofes of Gi 1 are, the 
 • •" His own precious I n us, (the Lamb 
 
 flain) and the reprobation of that fpirit 
 or feed of the ferpent, which with all the wrath 
 and artiiicc of a fallen fon of the morning] is ever
 
 LETTER S. 379 
 
 feeking to oppofe the coining of the kingdom, of 
 the Malum, how ought we to watch and be ibber ; 
 considering ourfelves no longer fafe, nor objects of 
 divine favour, than whilft our fpirits and affections 
 are dedicated to His righteous control, cleaniing 
 and fanctifying by the converting influence of His 
 own power. The feed of the kingdom, through 
 divine mercy remaining in us, and a difpofition to 
 cherifh and embrace it, preferves from the fin 
 which grieves the Spirit, and leads into death. 
 Wherefore, to ftand in that which is elect, and to 
 experience redemption from that fpirit which Avars 
 with it, ought invariably to be our aim ; and if, 
 in a purfuit fo effentiaily neceffary, we meet with 
 fuffering and deep fpiritual conflict, yet remember- 
 ing how inferior it all is to what He met with, who 
 being truly the good Shepherd, laid down His life 
 for the fheep ; and experiencing Him to be in us 
 the hope of glory, the afflictions of the prefent 
 time are counted light, and the omnipotence of the 
 Lord's everlafting arm (as we fingly depend upon 
 it) found to give victory over the enemies of our 
 own hearts ; to lead, in the meeknefs of wifdom, 
 through perfecutions from without, and to build up 
 in the true faith and ftedfaftnefs of the great Cap- 
 tain, who goes forth conquering and to conquer, 
 I know that religion is in a ftate with you, as well 
 as with us, which requires a patient waiting and 
 quiet hoping for the falvation of God ; which is 
 often near to be revealed when we faint in our 
 minds, and therefore fail of inheriting that bleffing 
 the patriarch Jacob wreftled for, through a night
 
 380 EXTRACTS from 
 
 of faithful and fucccfsful exercife. Thy increafe 
 in heavenly treafure, my beloved friend and bro- 
 ther in the truth, is fecretly and ftrongly coveted 
 by me ; my heart often meditates upon thy luiitary 
 Situation; and, in the renewings of gofpel lo\e, 
 thou and thy valuable wife are made like bone of 
 my bone, and fiefh of my fiefh. May the God of 
 all grace and confolaticm ftrengthen and fuccour 
 you ! and I moft airuredly believe he will, as your 
 love of His inward and fpiritual appearance, and 
 glorious work among -men, grows as a tree of 
 righteoufnefs, bringingTrorth fruit in its fcafon, and 
 enduring with humble fubrniffion ; every wintry and 
 pruning difpenfation. "We have heard fomething 
 of thy profpecl of devoting thyfelf to the education 
 of children •, a work peculiarly wanted in your 
 fociety, and which, if thou enters into, in the fim- 
 plicity and fmcerity which truth rives, will, there 
 is no doubt, be a bleffing to many, and thou thereby 
 rendered a feeling fubferiber to that truth, " he 
 that watereth, is watered himfclf." Thou mayeft 
 find it an arduous undertaking, and attended with 
 mortifying circumfrances ; but the liberal foul 
 (though it may fuffer) know? be A how to travel pro- 
 fitably through them all. It is not human appro- 
 bation that we ought to depend upon, or have fin: 
 in view j but our Jtudy fhould be to fhew ourfelves 
 approved unto God ; an 1 l'. n, whatever vocation 
 in His wifdom we an- placed in, ei !.■ weak • 
 
 may feel ourlclvcs, we Hull have no to be 
 
 alhamed.
 
 LETTERS. 381 
 
 nth Month 1788 — I can feelingly fubfcribe to 
 the truth of what thou fayeft, that it is good to 
 fpend one's days in the bands of a free and fincere 
 friendfhip, and in the unity of a folid and conftant 
 faith. We are favoured with many in thefe parts, 
 who have been mercifully gathered to the pure 
 fpring of eternal life, where true love and unity 
 originate, and from whence they bring forth accept- 
 able fruits \ but, as thofe confolations fometimes 
 abound, fo do tribulations, on account of the fpirit 
 of the world, and many other fnares, by which the 
 enemy of all good is daily feeking to draw afide ; 
 and for want of watchfulnefs and care, he prevails 
 to the great hurt of fome, and calling a fhade over 
 the purity and fimplicity that there is in the gofpel 
 of Chrift. So that, notwithstanding we are en- 
 compafifed with many bleffings and advantages, we 
 are not without our portion of trials ; and can there- 
 fore, in much fympathy and love, dip in fpirit 
 with thee, and feel thee as a fellow traveller in that 
 path of fuffering and probation which, in infinite 
 "Wifdom, is caft up for the regeneration and eita- 
 blifhment of all thofe who walk in it, and hold out 
 unto the end. Fear not, neither be difmayed, 
 though thou feel thyfelf as a folitary bird, as a peli- 
 can in the wildernefs, or a fparrow upon the houfe 
 top ; He that is in thee, is greater, than he that is 
 in the world •, His wifdom will direct thee, His 
 counfei guide thee, and His everlafting omnipotent 
 arm fuftain thee, as thy faith is ftedfaft therein, and 
 thy patience maintained in travelling through the 
 abating difpenfations which may fall to thy lot : for
 
 382 E X T R A C T S pr<*m 
 
 I do believe thou art intended to be a man for God, 
 fend no wonder then, if thou fuffer perfecution and 
 affliction : remember they :ire but for a moment, 
 and light, compared with that exceeding and eter- 
 nal m ight of glory, which is revealed to the poor 
 diftrefled mind, when it looks bevond the " things 
 which, are feen, to the things which are not feen." 
 I feel much love to the dear young people amongfr. 
 you, and (halt be glad for them to be told lb ; and 
 that the good account thou lent respecting them has 
 rejoiced the hearts of many. If they follow on to 
 know the Lord, their minds will increafc in holy 
 ftability ; the enjoyments of this world will fade in 
 their view; and an inward acquaintance with the 
 Spirit of Truth will become moft precious to them ; 
 they will not do their works (like the Pharifees) to 
 be fc.'n of men, but the folidity and weightinefs of 
 
 ir fpirits, will d that tl -y have been 
 
 with Jefus, fr< hon they receive all their cpiaii- 
 
 fic to perform true worfhip, or to do any 
 
 thing that is g »od. 
 
 ioth month 1788 — Thy letter, which arrived 
 about a v fweetly refVefhine and trulv 
 
 falutary to us; an ' I may now tell thee, thatthougn 
 ac< i individual I needed it not to revive 
 
 the ftrength • nate ittachment; for my fpi- 
 
 rit often emb in the flowings of increasing 
 
 thee, according to my 
 
 knowledge, in thai precioni 
 
 u: : ty which than all words (though ever 
 
 fo fi I cpreflcd) without it. "\S r erc 
 
 it not lor tlii, cordial drop, which, like oil, fome-
 
 LETTERS. 383 
 
 times fwims on the ton of our bittereft cups, our 
 faith would hardly be ftrong enough to make us 
 victorious over even the little perplexities attendant 
 upon this pilgrimage and ftate of probation ; but He 
 who knows that we are " feeble folk," and graciouf- 
 ly compafhonates our cafe, becomes to us not only 
 the lhadow of a mighty rock in a weary land, but 
 teaches us fo to build our neft therein, that, in times 
 of ftorm and trial, his holy inclofure preferves us, 
 his faith ftays us, and this rock pours out precious 
 oil. May our dwelling ever be here, and our in- 
 heritance be enlarged in that which is pure ! then, 
 let our allotments be what they may, whether our 
 bodies inhabit the dark, or the more illuminated 
 parts of the earth •, whether we are encompafTed 
 with forrow and travail, or have to rejoice more 
 fenflbly in the revealed falvation of the Almighty 
 Arm ; all will work together for good, and we grow 
 in qualification to worfhip and magnify that great 
 and excellent Name, which only is worthy of the 
 incenfe that in every place and iituation is to be 
 offered. 
 
 1 ith month 1788 — If I know my own heart, it is 
 my defire to know my bufinefs, and {imply to do it, 
 whether it is t^.ken cognizance of, or not, by the 
 truly wife and honourable ; whofe friendfhip, though 
 ftrengthening, confoling, and therefore acceptable, 
 may (if the heart be not in feme degree redeemed 
 and redeeming from the myrterious workings of felf- 
 love) be perverted, and inftead of nouriming the 
 pure immortal part, build us up in an airy notion of 
 our own merits and attainments, and prove a fnare
 
 384 EXTRACTS from 
 
 inftead of a blefiing. A little acquaintance with one's 
 own human nature, a frequent detection of its cor- 
 ruption, and the perplexities into which it intro- 
 duces us when its fubtil arguments prevail} are 
 enough to weary out a mind blefled with the leaft 
 fincere afpiration after permanent goud, durable 
 riches and righteoufnefs ; and to content us in the 
 moft obfcure lituation, if, through unmerited mercy, 
 it may but be in the courts of the Lord ; with the 
 coarfeft food, if but miniltered to us from the hand 
 which is full of bleffings ; and under the mnft un- 
 pleafant work, if faith is vouchsafed, that in love 
 and pity it will be accepted. Some of us here feel it 
 to be a low time ; my knees often are ready to finite 
 together, and my foul is exceeding forrOwful. That 
 there are caufes in myfelf, and circumftances attend- 
 ing our prefent lituation, I doubt not ; M give me 
 wifdom, and reject me not from amongft thy chil- 
 dren," is my fecret petition. 
 
 1 1 th month 1708 — We have twelve girls, and ex- 
 pect more foon; i"o that tliou wilt belie' - mul- 
 tiply upon us: but, all our endeavours will be inef- 
 fectual, both in this, and all Other undertakings, 
 except the blefiing which mikes truly rich, in unme- 
 rited in r. v, reils upon them. Did the world know, 
 how dependant all fubftantial comfort and permanent 
 joy are upon this heavenly gift, people in general 
 would toil lefs, think lefs of their own w'udom, and 
 more (imply follow that day (tar which arifeth in the 
 heart, and directeth to the pure life, in which the 
 Father u well pleafed. It 11 a comfortable belief to 
 my mind, that thou art arretted by this precious
 
 LETTERS. 385 
 
 principle of divine light, which difcovers things as 
 they really are. Be not afraid to be led by it, into 
 ways thou knoweft not, and into paths thou haft 
 not feen ; for, in due time, it will difpel the dark- 
 nefs before thee, and make crooked things ftraight. 
 One of the moft beautiful, though moft abafing dif- 
 penfations, in the true chriltian progrefs, is that of 
 becoming as a little child ; the judgment is here 
 taken away for purification, and to be made truly 
 ufeful in the Lord's work, the foul breathes only to 
 the parent for food, and depends upon no other for 
 counfel. It is generally weak, but knowing itfelf fo y 
 it is fafe : O happy ftate to be rightly brought into ! 
 May we never be afhamed of it, but for our encou- 
 ragement remember, that of fuch is the kingdom of 
 heaven. 
 
 1788 — Self-gratification in our own way 
 
 and time, has not been allotted us for the path to 
 folid peace ; and if increaiing humiliation mould 
 prove the food moft convenient for us, we wifh to 
 accept it from that hand, which has an indifputable 
 right to do with us as feemeth good in the fight of 
 infinite wifdom, and which has power to convert the 
 greateft trials into true fpiritual refrefhment. 
 
 —The ways of infinite \\ ifdom with thofe He 
 choofes to bring through, and redeem from the 
 fallacy of human underftanding, and corrupt na- 
 ture, are fo incomprehenfible and humiliating as 
 indeed puts us out of the capacity of faying, " what 
 doeft thou V for who hath been his counfellor ? 
 feeing he giveth not account to any cf his matters, 
 
 S
 
 •$96 EXTRACTS from 
 
 ti!! the llmplicity of a babe in Chriff is attained unto, 
 when he reveals, according to his purpofes, thofe 
 myltenes unto them, which are hid from the wile 
 and prudent. 
 
 — That junction between the monthly meetings is 
 comforting, if only from the ftrength which the 
 few living members may be fuffered to feel in the 
 unity of one another's fpirits, ami the bluffing which 
 may be upon their endeavours to wafh one another's 
 feet, and to bear up one another's hands. That 
 love which has heretofore flowed in my heart as a 
 river, to the poor in fpirit on that fide the county, 
 lwcetly revives as I am writing, under a renewed, 
 hope, that the eternal fountain of life will not be 
 cloied among them, however low and unworthy 
 they may fometimes feel themfelves to be of its 
 pure refrefhment. And if it be in abundant mercy 
 kept open, and they that are acquainted with it 
 gather to it, hiving their qualifications from it, 
 and ufe them under its influence, they will be a 
 bleiling one to another, and more may be gathered 
 to an inward experience of the fame purifying unc- 
 tion, than, in fome feafons of dilcouragement, they 
 have an idea of. 
 
 1 2th month 1788 — We have been fitting in a 
 
 friend's family, where demonstrated that her 
 
 ', through all thefe ftonns and tempefts, has 
 found where to anchor and unload her velll/l, with 
 an increafe of fimplicity and obedience. I wiflj fhe 
 may now leave the things that are behind; and that 
 we may ill be< and more, not only as chil- 
 
 dren, but as weaned children. To be reduced to
 
 LETTERS. 387 
 
 this humbled State, has not only its mortifications, 
 but its joys. The christian's life confifteth not in 
 the abundance of the apparent confolations and gra- 
 tifications he poffefTes ; but in the renewal from 
 time to time, of the hidden manna which the gold- 
 en pot contains, within the veil of perifhing things. 
 Thou knoweft enough of fuch Situations as ours, to 
 make thee believe we are not without a portion of 
 trials, (no doubt wifely proportioned to us •,) yet I 
 dare not complain, having thus far, as we have paus- 
 ed along, found Him whom my foul loveth, in 
 whofe prefence no murmuring has a right to appear. 
 Childlike Simplicity is an experience which every 
 chofen fervant, however feeble, ought to endeavour 
 for. We get nothing by the contrary ; for by ever 
 fo much taking thought, we cannot add one cubit 
 to our Stature, or make one hair of our head white 
 or black. May you proceed on this family viSit, in 
 the faith, nothing doubting. It was not the abun- 
 dance of bread, nor yet the finenefs of it, which 
 fed the multitude formerly. For want of faith, ws 
 lofe many miracles which the bleffing would ftill 
 effect. Remember poor David's Sling and Stone, 
 and out of whofe mouths, Strength and praife are 
 ordained. 
 
 1 2th month 1788 — I received thy affectionate 
 fifterly Salutation, which, like a little help to the 
 weak and feeble, was falutary and acceptable. Be 
 affured I am one of the weak and feeble ; may I 
 therefore be wile- enough, like thole little creatures 
 fpoken of in fcripture, which being feeble folk, 
 
 S z
 
 3 83 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 build their neft in a rock ! and truly, dear fricml, 
 were it not for the fhadow at leaft, of this Rock, 
 ainidft the conflicts between nature and grace, the 
 mind would often be overwhelmed, and make the 
 i'orrowful conclulion, " there is no hope." Ah this 
 Rock ! how fafe a refidence is it ! and methinks its 
 obfeurity from the worldly wife, and the felfifh 
 mind, adds greatly to its fafety. I feldom get to it 
 but by combat, which fhews that my enemies are 
 lively, and though it is fometimes my lot, in the 
 crofs, to fet before others their inherent infirmities, 
 and transformed adverfary, yet I humbly trult I 
 ihall not, and pray that I never may, forget mine 
 own. 
 
 I 2th month 1788 — My heart was favoured to en- 
 ter a little into thy affecting account of dear M. G's. 
 deceafe, and your united vifit previous thereto. 
 That valuable woman's laft days being lb memorably 
 emplovcd in her Matter's fervite, (after a life of 
 diffidence and obfeurity, compared with her religi- 
 ous qualifications, ami attachment to the caufe of 
 truth) was a diftiuguiih'mg mark of everlafting Le 
 and favour to her. Her dole feems fo lively, and 
 her fun fet in fuch brightnefs and i'crenhy, that it 
 conveys fomething animating to thofe who are far 
 behind in fitnefs, like myi'clf, to count nut their 
 lives dear unto the.nl'elves, if they alio may fo finiih 
 their courie with joy. And that bumble tabulated 
 difciple L. H. appears alio ready to rife triumph 
 above death, hell, an J the grave : all that is co\. 
 ous within me exerts itfelf in the profpecd of the 
 ioyous fettlements of fuch travailling fouls, in undo-
 
 LETTERS. 389 
 
 filed manfions where there is no more change. Oh 
 that I were but as willing to commit my fpirit into 
 the divine hand, during my residence in this poor 
 frail tabernacle, (where there is moft need of help) 
 as to inherit the rewards of thofe who, through 
 more tribulations, more effectual warning, and bet- 
 ter occupation of their gifts, enter into the joy of 
 their Lord ! Well ! dear friend, fear not though 
 thou halt made an exchange fo unfuited to thy na- 
 tural difpofition in thy prefent ftation, He who 
 knows the facrihce, becaufe Himfelf prepared it, 
 (how little foever thou mayeft think due to thyfelf ) 
 will proportionably enrich thee, and prefent thee 
 with the bleffings of His goodnefs, and crown thee 
 the more with that humility and felf-abafednefs 
 which are fo precious in His fight. Were it not 
 that He loved us before we loved Kim, peradven- 
 ture we might fometimes think our lot a hard one, 
 and find fome caufe to defpair of His mercy, or 
 conclude that His holy eye penetrates not into our 
 . lonefome and obfcure dwellings (however railed up 
 as fpeclacles to angels and to men) neither marks 
 the way that we take. That facred prerogative of 
 the everlafting Father, of attracting and quickening 
 the foul, opening and fhutting the heavenly treafu- 
 ry, is, I do believe, the very thing which diffcracts 
 that mind wherein patience has not had its perfect 
 work, though it is the very thing wherein it ought 
 to glory. 
 
 1788 — My hufband and I received thy 
 
 letter of affection for us, and lamentation over thy-- 
 
 S 3
 
 393 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 iclf. Our minds arc drawn into near fvmpathy 
 with thee, and we believe that thio aillictive dilpcn- 
 fatten, is defigned for thy emreafing acceptance 
 with the Father of fpirits, who knows heft how to 
 purify the veftcls of His own hemic. Thcfe, thou 
 knoweft, are not only to be of gold, but of beaten 
 gold, in order to f.ilhion them according to His 
 ►od pleafurc, and render them fit for the inferip- 
 tion of liolinefs. Now, my dear friend, as thy 
 heart's deiire is to rcpofe thyfelf in the joys of 
 God's falvation, endeavour to attain that holy qui- 
 etude, wherein the delufions of the grand enemy are 
 baffled, and the tribulated fpirk is ftrengthencd to 
 receive the bittcreft cup with thankfgiving. We are 
 of ourfclves very weak, and it is fometimes confift- 
 ent with infinite Wifdom, that we fhould be left to 
 a deep lenfe thereof, that no fiefh may glory in His 
 pretence ; but that the hunger, the thirft, and the 
 humiliation of the foul, may be fully proved. There- 
 fore marvel not, as though fome new thing had 
 happened unto thee. It was the path which the 
 holy Apoftle was led in, when he declared on his 
 own, and his brethren's behalf, that they had the 
 i'jntence of death in themfelves, that they fhould 
 not tmft in themfelves, but in God who raifeth the 
 dead : and we hi. ■ iny inft inccs in our focicty in 
 thefe parts, of upright hearted advocates o[ the 
 chrifHan religion being tried with deep poverty of 
 lpirit, and difcouragement in the profpect of the 
 Lord's work) and of their own incapacity to per- 
 form it. Wc have alio ir, I of thefe humiliati- 
 ons tending I pi r in the experience
 
 LETTERS. 391 
 
 of that fundamental truth, that the true believers 
 in Chrift have received an anointing which abideth 
 in them, and need not that another mould teach 
 them, but as this fame anointing teacheth them, 
 which is truth, and is no lie. And being thus led oh 
 to a higher degree of union and fdlowlhip with the 
 Father, and with the Son, their qualifications have 
 increafed to endure, for the precious feed's fake, the 
 watchings, the fadings, and the deaths many, mito 
 which, according to our meaiure, we are all, in 
 this mixed ftate of things, called. And when their 
 mouths have been opened again in the congregation 
 of the people, they have depended the more fingly 
 and limply upon divine impulfe, and the puttings 
 forth, and ftrengthening virtue of the Shepherd of 
 Ifrael. Thus the exercifed have been benefited, 
 3nd the Lord's heritage comforted. I humbly trull, 
 that thefe bleffings will remit from thy late tribula- 
 tions ; and that thou wilt have to fay, hitherto the 
 Lord (and not man) hath helped me. It is to be la- 
 mented when, for want of thefe baptifms of ipirit, 
 a fuperficial miniftry, and activity in the church pre- 
 vail ; for thefe are like blafts from the wildernefs, 
 which, inftead of cherifhing, chill the hidden life, 
 and build up in the notion, rather than in the 
 humbling experience of true religion. It is much 
 better to appear nothing when we are nothing-, that 
 we may be emptied and cleanfed from all felf-love, 
 and learn patience and contentednefs therewith. I 
 falute thee in chriftian love and fympathy, and as a ta- 
 bulated fellow-traveller encompafled with manifold in- 
 firmities, remain thy friend and filler in the truth, 
 
 S 4,
 
 EXTRACTS from 
 
 ift month 1789 — My mind has often fecrctly vi- 
 fited and \\ pathized with thee, under the various 
 and deep exercifes which I do believe have fallen to 
 thy lot, in the coyrfe of unerring wifdom ; but it 
 has as often feemed more my hufinefs, thus iilcntly 
 to feel thee under the precious influence of that love 
 which the children of the one Almighty Father feel 
 towards each other, than to be forward in exprefling 
 it. lie who has gracioufly called thee out of dark- 
 nefs, into his marvellous light, turned his hand up- 
 on thee for good, and thus far, fuftained thee thro' 
 many refining difpenfations, will not now leave thee, 
 when Jordan may rile high, and feem to overflow 
 its banks i but in his own due and appointed time> 
 which muft be waited for, he will divide the waters, 
 and diicover to thee, with indisputable clearnefs, a 
 way where thou haft feen none ; yea, according to 
 II is promiie to His own {^cdy lie will make daik- 
 nefs light before thec, and crooked things ftraight ; 
 thefe things will he do unto thec, and will not for- 
 fake thee- I think I know, (if I am dipped into a 
 right fenfe of thy ftate) that the enemy of all good is 
 exceedingly envious againit the precious life, or feed 
 of the kingdom, which is divinely intended] through 
 fufrcring, to be fo brought into dominion, as to efta- 
 blifh thee in the liberty of the children of Cod, 
 whereby thv ufefulnefs in the church, in this dark 
 and cloudy day, will encreafe. Like the woman th 
 brought forth the man-child, feen by John in the - 
 
 n of light and life, thou mayft have to flee into 
 the wil •: for pre! . r\ ation, bccaule of the perfe- 
 
 cutions of the dragon, and the floods he may be per- 
 mitted to pour out of his mouth. His enmity re-
 
 LETTERS. 393 
 
 mains to be with the pure feed ; and they who defire 
 to cherifh this excellent treafure, in their earthen 
 veflels, and to live godly in Chrift Jefus, muft ex- 
 pect many of his cruel affaults, in temptations, pro- 
 vocations, and inflnuations : but the Rock of age-s 
 remains to be their refuge, and as their tribulated Spi- 
 rits endeavour to retire here, and place no confidence 
 in the flefh, notwithstanding it may be with fore con- 
 flict they gain this fure dwelling place, they will be 
 amply rewarded, and have, in humility of foul, to 
 rejoice in the impregnablenefs of the defence, and to 
 magnify the power through which all things are pof- 
 fible. Whatever has a tendency to fubject and re- 
 duce the creaturely part in us, however bitter its 
 operations may be, is gratefully to be received by the 
 upright foul, as one of the means whereby the adop- 
 tion, and inheritance of the glorious promifes of the 
 gofpel, is attained ; and one of thofe bitter things 
 which to the truly hungry foul is fweet. Therefore, 
 lit me fay unto thee, fear not, thy God is with thee, 
 and will work for thee, as thou art willing to have all 
 the refiftance of thy nature' to every of his holy re- 
 quisitions, wrought upon and fubdued, in the day 
 of his power. The juft are to live by faith, that 
 faith which gives the victory, and triumphs over 
 death, hell, and the grave. May ft thou fight the 
 good fight thereof; and may I be thy companion in 
 this neceflary warfare ; that fo the attacks of our 
 grand adverfary upon fuch chriftian virtues as have 
 been mercifully conceived in our fouls, may all be 
 rendered fruftrate; and we abiding under the facred 
 influence of the powerful word of patience, may often 
 
 S 5
 
 . [TRACTS mi 
 
 vtu J to look be 
 thing? the things not 
 
 unt not our lives 
 .... • 
 
 i I laid is th< 
 • thee, yet 1 
 of ; \ on 1 
 
 I : . 
 : 
 
 I it) 
 
 I . 
 
 . .'. in 
 :h, 
 this is 1 
 
 ■ 
 
 t .": - — Ther 
 
 or, a« to 
 Ae eni : of his i". 
 
 preiVnce, n aw v.. -en of 
 
 mourn : and 
 as I do . thou muft 
 
 rn mcj ixl to 
 
 bear fuch ons with christian fortku. . 
 
 . anchor? • 
 Rock of ages. That which is feeo is net hope, and 
 
 is the fcafon wherein 
 
 • th, patience, 
 
 , are to be tried, ra: :.n 
 
 xifly ^ o, when 
 
 cc.
 
 L E T T E R ' 
 
 2(1 i ~'l;- "■ ■■'/ '-■': " :•' - - - -•: 
 
 ban*-], M. D. ar.d . : . was ver ; vry 
 
 i i . : I the preciou . 
 
 of was mercifu 
 
 and ours, ootwithfta tding our .-.- . 
 
 and our own peculiar imp . .-<* to the growth 
 
 We ail fee!, at times, otir 
 > be clofely tried, and h been the ex- 
 
 perience of thofe in ail ages who were preffing 
 a city which hath found;- \ the fpirit of 
 •rorl i, and the corruptions of - are, * 
 
 (e the | nent c I 
 
 Peace in the hex -rrein the unit- 
 
 iv own be ire 
 
 * '- of the I - - rj ind as we 
 
 - by the aid of fpiritual wear. . - rr 
 •' fix '...:.- nifold pre 
 
 bt will at 1; 
 late for ever;. :'. 
 
 i. Let patience then have it3 per . 
 
 : " and entire, is 
 A .ng no- - friends here, v.. j 
 
 on in the tx re fympathized withy 
 
 accour: -.:' . ofpect of fufferi.- : Boocero- 
 
 e of yem apprehend to be the law 
 
 ' ' .~ IC- 
 
 " h it note \ .: b omfaj . d . that 
 
 . -- iblic C : - 
 
 .-.-.-" Idity to the c 
 at a time w fa .-., perad venture, their : 
 was not f- be accompmk ,:h 
 
 -.^rv c: fort to th
 
 396 EXTRACTS from 
 
 deeply to convince them of this renewed obligation 
 they are under to their heavenly Father, " whole 
 eyes run to and fro in the earth, beholding the evil 
 and the good ; and that nothing fhort of increafing 
 faithfulnefs to known duty, and watchfulnefs there- 
 unto in fpirit, can render them approved in the fight 
 of fo gracious a Being. We are glad to believe 
 there are fincere-hearted men and women amongft 
 )ou; may thefe be of one heart and one mind, walk, 
 ijig " by the fame rule, and minding the fame 
 thing," gathering together in the facred Name, and 
 diligently waiting therein the time which infinite wif- 
 dom prefcribes, (though in ever fuch humiliation to 
 the creature) before the people's minds are drawn to 
 outward testimonies. Oh ftrengthen one another in 
 this holy exercife ! It is eflential for gofpel minifters 
 to experience •, that therein the fpirits may be tried, 
 every transformation of the enemy judged down, 
 and the fuffering feed of the kingdom only exalted. 
 If this reduction of felf, and all fclfifh working, 
 were the object cf your ftrong and feeble members, 
 your affemblies would be Solemn, your feeding 
 would be upon the bread cf life, and your fouls 
 would worfhip and adore the divine Prefence, which 
 delights to dwell in you, and amongft you. Thy ac- 
 count of the young people's faithfulnefs was accepta- 
 ble j and, with thee, " I wifh it may be a fincere 
 ftep towards virtue." Hearing of the two marriages 
 likely to 1 » ably accomplished, is alfo plea- 
 
 I 1 hope that the reflccY.on will be laftingly 
 CC; . parties when their minds are
 
 LETTER S. 397 
 
 growing under the influence of heavenly dew, and 
 in obedience to the crofs of Chrift. 
 
 2d month 1789 — If you fully knew the ftate of 
 our minds, and how clofely they have been occupied 
 fince our parting from you, I am ready to conclude, 
 that fometimes you could hardly have refrained from 
 dropping us a word in feafon. Perhaps it is felf-love 
 which directs to this vein of confclation ; an hunger 
 after fenfible enjoyments, which generally manifefts 
 itfelf to be infatiable, and the feeding of which fel- 
 dom ftrengthens the root and ground of true chris- 
 tian fellowfhip. It has been our lot, and I doubt 
 not but it has been yours, fince we faw each other, 
 to pafs through trials inward and outward ; wherein 
 nothing fhort of the Arm of Omnipotence could pro- 
 fitably fuftain and bring through : O ! that our faith 
 may be ftrengthened in it ; that as our race will foon 
 be run, we may, during its humiliating courfe, inva- 
 riably purfue the one thing needful. Then will our 
 fteps, amidffc the briers and thorns of this world, 
 and all the chilling blafts of its fpirit, be rewarded in 
 the riches of the mercy of Him who trod the path 
 before us. I remember the unity we were favoured 
 to feel in our little fervices, and the uninterrupted 
 harmony of our connexion as companions ; and thefe 
 things have left upon my mind impreffions too facred 
 to be lofl in forgetfulnefs. Inftead of their dying, I 
 think of late they have been replenifhed with a de- 
 gree of the beft life : and as we endeavour fimply to 
 move in the lots affigned us by our all-wife Creator, 
 however diftant our outward dwellings may be, the 
 immortal part will not fail to affimilate us in the pre-
 
 3 o« EXTRACT S from 
 
 cious covenant of love and life. It is a wonderful 
 union which chriltian travellers enjoy, when they 
 meet one another in fpirit. Though their communi- 
 cations be mournful, yet underfhinding each other's 
 language, and being companion?, they are encou- 
 raged and frrcngthened thereby, to proceed on their 
 journey towards a city which hath foundations, 
 whofe peace is everlafling. 
 
 id month 1789 — The precious evidence of peace, 
 is one of thofe rare and valuable flowers, that 
 feem in danger of withering with too much dilplay 
 in the open air. The flvade, we are fometimes fa- 
 voured to retire to, when the world may judge us in 
 its own fluctuating fpirit : u when thou prayeft, en- 
 ter into the clofet and fhut the door," &c. 
 
 3d month 1789 — It is a very low time with me. 
 There are few I believe that need fuch baptifms as 
 myfelf, and therefore it is, no doubt, beft for mc to 
 bear them as quietly and profitably as I can. He 
 with whom we have to do, afflicts not willingly the 
 children of men, and therefore, if our afflictions 
 are not of our own bringing on, they are a part of 
 the work of that rightcoulhcls which produces qui- 
 etnefs and afiurance for ever. We muit not expect 
 to pafs through the prcfent vale of tears, witl 1 
 bearing our proportion of fuiTcring, for the body's 
 fake, and thofe abafcincnts which are fo neceflary 
 for our own preservation in the truth. Wherefore 
 let us be patient, and eftahlilh our hearts, that fo 
 we may not be moved or turned away from the hope 
 of th< gOfpel, but through all, ftand in the faith 
 that the day of the Lord drawcth r/gli. We
 
 LETTERS. 3 99 
 
 often find, to the mortification of the creature, that 
 times and feafons are not at our command, nor even 
 for us always to know: it is the divine prerogative to 
 difpofe of them; and the human mind is taught 
 thereby its own dependency, and driven in queft of 
 that faith by which the juft live. Faith removes our 
 doubts, anchors the foul when upon the fluctuating 
 waters of uncertainty, " is the very fubitance of things 
 hoped for, and the evidence of things not feen." 
 Fight, my beloved friend, the good fight thereof, and 
 give no place to the accufer •, fo will thy pofleftion of 
 this heavenly gift increafe, thy offerings will conti- 
 nue to be acceptable, and victory become iealed to 
 thee when the combat is over. 
 
 3d month 1789 — If thou and I are really fa- 
 voured with the precious evidence of gofpel union, 
 let us be tenacious of its purity. On thy part, do 
 not fail to " exhort and reprove with all authority," 
 even when the deceitfulnels of my heart judges itfelf 
 better than it is. What fignifies that part in us 
 which cannot inherit the kingdom ? I cannot fay 
 that I am light hearted, though it is comfortable to 
 believe thy burdens decreafe ; nor do I wifh to caft 
 a gloom upon, and cloud that fky, which, after 
 much tempeftuous weather, and a frequent oppref- 
 five atmofphere, may attract the ftrengthened fight 
 to greater heights of clearnefs and purity, than, in 
 fome part feafons, the nature of things would al- 
 low. I congratulate thee as one, not only beholding 
 the vifion, but gradually and effectually afcending 
 the ladder which reaches from earth to heaven j on 
 which, methinks, the defcending angels are fent to
 
 400 EXTRACTS i hom 
 
 Strengthen poor weary pilgrims. May I be thy com- 
 panion ; not i'o much for the lake ot thy company, 
 though that is truly pleafant, as for the glorious reft 
 within the pearl gates, when the tribulated fteps to 
 it (hall tor ever ceafe. 1 believe I do not lb fre- 
 quently write to any one on this fubjccT: as to thy- 
 felfi and 1 would not have thee think that my con- 
 vcriation is proportionably in heaven. Thefe prof- 
 pecis animate the foul j but the difcouragements 
 and pcrfecutions from that which is born of the 
 fielh, feem as if they would drag every holy aspi- 
 ration into the mire and the clay of the horrible 
 pit. 
 
 5th month 1789 — It juft occurred to me as I took 
 up the pen, that probably there is a greater hmila- 
 rity in our excrciles, than we are generally aware 
 of, and perhaps we arc oftener dipped into iympa- 
 thy one with another than we are capable of per- 
 ceiving. Religious fympathy is I am perfuaded a 
 great myftcry. The apoftle fought to till up that 
 which remained (of his portion) of the fuffcrings of 
 Chrilt, for the church's fake ; and may we be like 
 minded rcfpeciing thoi'e baptifms, which introduce 
 into a fellowfhip with the effectual fuffcrings of the 
 Lamb, and work in us a conformity to Mis death ; 
 thereby qualifying, through the power of His rcfur- 
 rcction, to demonfirate, that they are not only for 
 our own, but alio for the church's fake. Under 
 thefe difpenfatioris, can we fail, at tii.es, of feeling 
 ourfelves -.done? We Should not be cxcrcifid ac- 
 cording to our meafures, in his tribulated path, if, 
 in the awful moment when the crucifixion of our
 
 LETTERS. 4 ci 
 
 wills is approaching, our affociates and friends ftood 
 around us with the cup of confolation ; no ! it were 
 his enemies then who, haftening their own deftruc- 
 tion, pierced him, and miniftered the vinegar and 
 the gall. Let us then feize the comparifon for our 
 humiliation. Chrift in us can unfeal the myftery, 
 and amidft His holy leadings in the regeneration, 
 can renew the drooping mind with the confoling 
 language of, " fear not, greater is He that is in 
 you, than he that is in the world." I wifh that thy 
 mind may be encouraged, without unprofitable rea- 
 foning, to labour onward in the hidden paths and 
 pilgrimage of the Jew inward. Thou haft put thy 
 hand to a good work, for which I do believe thou 
 art chofen. The enemy of all good, will, as for- 
 merly, feek to deftroy the immortal birth, and not 
 fail to caft forth floods out of his mouth, and re- 
 prefent them to be the miniftration of juft condem- 
 nation. To be preferved from this attack upon thy 
 beft life, peradventure thou mayeft be induced to 
 flee into the wildernefs, where methinks I now vifit 
 thee, and where thou wilt not be fuffered to fall ; 
 but thou wilt be fuftained with the bread which the 
 world knows not of, and come forth in the appointed 
 time, more and more weaned from ail human de- 
 pendencies. 
 
 5 th month 1789 — Few fources of comfort pre- 
 fented at the opening of thefe mixed affembiies, and 
 unlefs the one great fouree of light and purity pro- 
 duces to the believers the newnefs of the fpirit, they 
 cannot but fa ft \ and well is it for them, when, to 
 their falling, they can acceptably add mourning.
 
 4 o2 EXTRACTS from 
 
 For my part, I have in general thro' the conrfe of 
 the fittings of this meeting (which are moftly gone 
 through] felt myfelf fomething like Mary, who fat 
 at the bleffed Mutter's fepulchre, with a language 
 fimilar to that of " they have taken away my Lord, 
 and I know not where thev have laid Him." To 
 thy fympathetic mind, this may be a fufficient de- 
 fcription how things have gone with thy Sarah 
 Grubb. Perhaps in the la ft moment of extremity 
 (for fometimes we are wifely tried to the laft) the 
 joyful tidings may falute the fpiritual ear, " thy 
 Lord is rifen, and behold he goeth before thee." 
 this is the crown of all true rejoicing •, this is the 
 bleffing of which the creature muft ever acknowledge 
 itfelf unworthy. It is a knowledge which indeed 
 puffeth not up ; and were it not that Lucifer, that 
 fallen fon of the morning, is Peeking to intrude, and 
 fometimes does intrude himfelf, and attracts the un- 
 wary mind to fome mountain of felf exaltation, 
 peradventure the manifeftations and confolations of 
 the Spirit, would more often, and more eminently 
 abound amongft the Lord's vilited and adopted 
 children. M F< td me then with food convenient 
 for me, left I be full and deny thee :" O deferable 
 refignation ! 
 
 5th month 1789 — I was forry to hear that thy 
 mind was ftill in fo dejected a ftate. Caufes for fl- 
 tu itions of this fort cannot always be comprehended 
 by us, and therefore we ought to be careful how we 
 conclude that they either are, or arc not, in the or- 
 dering of beft Wifdom. One thing however afford 1 
 confutation to the truly contrite mind •, that all
 
 LETTERS. 403 
 
 things {hall work together for good to thofe who 
 love and fear God. As I do believe, thou art pne 
 of thofe, and that thou fincerely defireft alfo to 
 walk acceptably before Him, learn more and more, 
 patiently and thankfully, to receive from His holy 
 hand, whatfoever He appoints or permits, as dif- 
 penfations which he only can fanclify. It is a fort 
 of fchool the mind has to enter into, when fenfible 
 of its own infirmities, it purfues the things of the 
 kingdom, and the knowledge how to difcern them 
 from the myfterious workings and cogitations of cor- 
 rupt felf. It has many lelTons to learn, hard to flefh 
 and blood ; and perhaps one of the moft difficult is, 
 to think nothing too hard, nothing too n.sar or dear 
 to part with, for the fake of the prize in view. And 
 were we thoroughly to learn it, I believe it would 
 clothe us with many amiable and profitable difpofiti- 
 ons, which murmuring Ifraelites have feldom time to 
 difcover. 
 
 6th month 1789 — Thou art often very near and 
 dear to me ; and I have felt it renewedly during the 
 courfe of the exercifing meetings we have had here : 
 for true love fometimes fprings up, and attracts our 
 attention to fome fuffering object, when we are rea- 
 dy to think ourfelves deftitute of its facred virtue, 
 and too much fcattered in mind from its hidden track 
 iivingly to converfe with it. So, my dear friend, it 
 has often been with me fince we faw each other j be- 
 lieving that thou haft trials peculiar to thyfelf, and 
 peradventure, art too much deprefTed therewith. 
 Let not any difcouragement fink thee below an holy 1 
 confidence, that the everlafting Arm is underneath |
 
 404 EXTRACTS from 
 
 and that, if thou " ileal thy bread to the hungry, 
 and thy water to the thirfty foul, thy light (hall 
 break forth out of obfeurhy, and thy darkhefs be- 
 come as the noon d..y."' Believe not the moft fubtle 
 iniinuation, that thj paffagc through life will conti- 
 nue thorny as it is ; for it is in the deccivablenefs of 
 unrighteoufnefs that thefe things are fuggefted to us, 
 in order to remove us from that ftedfaftnefa and hope 
 .of the gofpel, in which \ilitcd minds are defigned to 
 be eftablifhed. 
 
 7th month 1789 — My heart and eyes have been 
 afrefli affected by a lively revival of days that are paft: 
 days of fore tribulation, when the old heavens and 
 old earth were paffing away, and a capacity unbegot- 
 ten to rejoice in the difcovcry of the new. Yea, they 
 were days when the battle was hot between flelh and 
 fpirit j and for want of being accuftomed to the wea- 
 pons of warfare, mind and body were wearied) and 
 the vitals of both nearly overcome. When I re- 
 flect: upon the kindnefs of infinite goodnels many 
 ways manifested to my weak ftate, and the ingrati- 
 tude of my heart, I wonder at the long forbearance, 
 and continued effufions of the quickening and puri- 
 fying virtue of the immortal Word : I wonder at my 
 prefent backwardness in the chriftian life; and my 
 want of zed in the purfi.it oi I ne thing needful. 
 
 May thy bolbm friend and thyfelfj be fa helpful and 
 blefled to each other, as, in the facred covenant 
 wherein ye arc bound, unitedly to ftretch I nr 
 
 b 1 uni ttered by any thing of your own, and let 
 
 another hind, or gird you, even though you may be 
 carried thereby whither ye would not. The inex-
 
 LETTERS. 405 
 
 preffibly near unity and affection which I felt with, and 
 for your fpirits, in our late and fhort junction, has left a 
 fweet and confoling favour behind ; which now, and 
 fometimes, when a different influence would prevail, 
 fprings up as under the threshold of the door, and 
 riles till it becomes a river, which my often tried 
 mind meafurably rejoices and fwims in. Count not 
 your lives dear unto yourfclves, when called for at 
 your hands 5 and when not, labour after tranquility 
 of foul •, remembering, that, however little and poor 
 ye may be, ye cannot, by taking ever fo much thought, 
 add one cubit to your ftature. But resignation itfelf 
 is a gift. Oh that ye may covet the beft gifts ! for it 
 is as we have them in view, and pray for them, ac- 
 cording to the mind of the fpirit, that we receive. 
 
 8th month 1789 — Thou art, dear friend, an epif- 
 tle written in my heart, where I fometimes read thee, 
 and thy mournful, humble fteppings with joy ; con- 
 fident with the divine command, to rejoice in his 
 new creation, of which, in infinite mercy, thou art 
 happily a part ; having known old things to pals a- 
 way, and new ones to be brought in, where the 
 righteoufnefs of the creature is beheld to be as filthy 
 rags ; and where the righteoufnefs of God, the obe- 
 dience of faith, dwells. Let it dwell, and more and 
 more abound in thy experience ; for thereby thy 
 ftrength will encreafe, and nothing, in divine ap- 
 pointment, will be found too hard for thee to per- 
 form. In true fimplicity, to lean upon and follow 
 the Beloved of fouls, is a wonderful prefervation from 
 that reafoning, and vain confultation with fiefh and 
 blood, which diftracls the mind, and often caufes it
 
 4 o6 EXTRACT S from 
 
 to err from the faith. It is true our fpiritual guide, 
 for wife pin ;>. s, conceals himfelf from us, the 
 bridegroom is taken away, and then the difciples 
 cannot but mourn ; and better it is for them that 
 they fhoi Id mourn, tlian enter into the remoteit 
 confederacy with his en my againft him, call in 
 queftion ] lis manifestations, and doubt whether He 
 is to us that friend, of whom He has given us, in 
 broad dav light, living proofs. An unbelieving 
 heart is a temptation moft fubtle, and often very 
 plauiibly prefented. Beware of it, dear friend ! Be 
 not afraid to have thy foolifhnefs fur Chrilt's lake 
 perfected ; for His gofpel, which is the power of 
 God unto falvation to all them that believe, is a 
 fund of requisites for the chriltian traveller ; from 
 the babe's to the itrong man's food, the cloathing of 
 the lilies in the heavenly garden, to the accoutre- 
 ments and victorious armour of the Lamb's foldiers. 
 Fear not thcr<'hre, though thou be a child, and 
 feera to thyfelf that thou canft not go ; for the 
 Lord hath anointed thee, and will therefore ftrength- 
 en thee for His work, and feed tnee with food con- 
 renienl ;• thee. 
 
 8th liu th 17B9 — You are very often remembered 
 by me in (ifterly [ympathy and affection, though fel- 
 dom told • ;t ; and I trull that nothing relating to 
 my lilence will be able to make different impreilions. 
 I tind it very difficult in our large ( .nily, and amidlt 
 oth.er dutii rs than thole which relate to it (though 
 but few of them comparatively fall 10 my lot,) to lit 
 down and quietly com erfe with my friends; and yet 
 thef COS1C upon, or rather arrcil, my mental attca-
 
 LETTERS. 407 
 
 tion, when in the very thick of cares and anxieties ; 
 fo that I hope the invisible intercourse of kindred 
 fpirits, is lefs dependent upon outward and vifible 
 figns, than we fometimes imagine ; and per.id ven- 
 ture, the more we look beyond the things dint are 
 feen, to the things that are not feen, the more we 
 then pofTefs the very thing which our natures 
 prompt us to toil for. Neverthelefs, as a fecondary 
 conSolation, it is lawful thus to commune. Your 
 laft joint epiftle was to me a pleafant repaSt, though 
 fome of its ingredients were bitter herbs : you know 
 fo well how, in every new difpenfation, to look to 
 «* the great fir ft caufe," and to wait for that fancli- 
 fication of the Spirit, which caufeth all things to 
 work together for good to them that love Him, that 
 it Seems unneceffary for me to remark upon it ; an 
 entire freedom clothes my mind refpe&jng you -, 
 yea, and I may add, a belief that your bittereft cups 
 will be fweetened in the due and appointed time. 
 To wait for that, has often been hard duty to the 
 haftinefs of my defires. But were we not to be So 
 exercifed ; where or how could we obtain profitable 
 experience in the chriftian's path? how could we 
 live by faith, when all things were accountable to usi 
 or when arrive at the quiet and fafe harbour of 
 pure resignation, if the ftorms of carnal reafbning 
 were never to rife ? There is a great and an attain- 
 able purity in that State of mind, which forbears to 
 judge even in its own caufe \ which, in finglenefs, 
 cafts its burden i^pon the Lord, and accepts every 
 permitted tribulation and chaftifement, as a renewed 
 Seal of adoption, and evidence of our being intend-
 
 4 oS EXTRACTS from 
 
 ed to be joint heirs with Chrift ; and therefore 
 bound and induced, by the unfailing mercies of 
 God, to follow through all, our holy Head ; and by 
 the increafe of his fpirit, not to fear humbly to 
 breathe the language of Abba, Father. I look up 
 with an emulous eye, to an i nee which I ge- 
 
 rally live far ihort of: but let us prefs forward, 
 
 r we il ip if we faint not. You are a 
 
 collection of chofen veflcls at that place. Oh fuller 
 not the enemy to put in his cloven foot amongft 
 you, for he mars the pure ft defigns ; and to fruftxate 
 the gracious intention, of the Lord's children being 
 helpmeets to each other, is one of his moll fubtle at- 
 tempts. When there are ftorms at fea, veffels are often 
 (cattered, and hid one from another; perhaps all 
 equally tolTed : but there is a voice which both winds 
 am' s obey, and which unites them again. Have 
 
 faith in it, and wait for it, and ye fhall do well. 
 
 8th month r 7H9 — As children of the fame family, 
 I believe it allowable for us to commune together at 
 times, as we w ilk in the way and are fad ; for, me- 
 • inks, the ma Or has herein joined himfelf to us, 
 and I truft will gracioufly continue to do fo, as we 
 our integrity, and become more and more 
 Q ful in! I ijah, in a time of deep re- 
 
 volt, thought himfelf alone, and faw Ifrael with an 
 :d by difcouragement, till li:\\h<> knows 
 all . revealed to him his own preferred feed 
 
 In the word of eternal life only, i-> certainty. Weill 
 v that feared the Lord fpake often one to ano- 
 
 ther : I look at the I fi I :"!, as h \ iy 
 
 few to (peak to who und rftand the Hebrew tongue;
 
 LETTERS. 409 
 
 one of the characterises of many in this clay who 
 are called chriftians is, that they are half Jew an«i 
 half Afhdod ; but even at this be not too forrow- 
 ful : " when father and mother forfake thee, fch< 
 Lord will take thee up," and become Himfelf the 
 fupplier of all thy wants. Who knows but He mfty 
 make thee an inftrument for the turning of many to 
 a pure language, and inducing them to call upon the 
 facred name, the refuge and landtuary of the righte- 
 ous ; that fo they may be preferved in the fecret 
 places of the Almighty, until His indignation be 
 overpaft. Be a faithful watchman ; yea be willing 
 and thankful to become the moft menial in the fpiri- 
 tual family. This humility will, with the bleffing, 
 iufure thy prefervation, and at timjss furnifh thee 
 with that bread of eternal life, which the world 
 knows not of. 
 
 9th month 1789 — I wifh we could more frequent- 
 ly converfe upon our various concerns, believing that 
 each of us finds them at times awfully important, 
 and attended with their peculiar perplexities, A 
 little company in fuch paths has a cheering effect, as 
 it feldom happens, in the right ordering of things, 
 that all are finking under difcouragements together ; 
 and therefore they can the better fpeak comfortably 
 when fome one or other fenilbly pofTeiTes the preci- 
 ous gift of faith, which peradvenrure all are never- 
 thelefs living by. 
 
 My head often feems dropping below water ; 
 yea, there are feafons when the billows actually 
 pafs over ; and, through unutterable mercy, they 
 
 T
 
 4 ro EXTRACTS FR0M 
 
 do pafs over, and beyond the prefect trials. Sowing 
 a.s in tears, in the variety of ground which we tind 
 amongft the children, my ftresgth gets renewed ; 
 and my foul begotten again to a Lively hope, that in- 
 finite kindnefs will, in His own time and way, blefs 
 our feeble endeavours to prepare fubjecis for the 
 kingdom of the Prince of peace. It is little we can 
 do •, but that little let us labour to perform accepta- 
 bly to the Almighty Father, and have the world to 
 gaze upon us, and judge of us, as it may : for when 
 we take its fentiments into coniideration, or put 
 them in competition with our foul's peace, it is like 
 that falle balance which is an abomination to the 
 Lord •, whereas the juft weight (an implicit attention 
 and obedience to divine requisition) is His delight. 
 I wilh, dear friend*, ' that your hands may be 
 ftrcngthened, in the faithful difcharge of your duty 
 towards the numerous family you prefide in : for, the 
 more you erect the ftandard of truth there, the 
 more your fervices in focitty will encreafe; and 
 what is ftill better, the deeper your fpirits will get 
 in the undefiled coniblations of the bumble fol- 
 ■rs of Je. Thefe are worth fuffering for, 
 
 they abound in proportion to our tribulations for 
 1 : s fake. 
 
 9th month 1 7 So — I am truly glad thou funds fo 
 Icated to pour water en the hands oi fwcet 
 
 ited friend ; believing Inch a difpoiition, conceiv- 
 ed in the integrity of the heart, i. often acceptable 
 to, and billed by, the good Spirit which renews 
 t'n ■ hope of the Bumble, and revives the minds of 
 the contrite • • Let nut the ufual difcourage-
 
 LETTERS. 411 
 
 ments to thefe little furrenders, fo prevent thee from 
 following on to the full performance, as to rob thee 
 of the reward of enriching peace, and the increale of 
 thy experience in the work whereinto thou art, be- 
 yond all doubt to my mind, rightly introduced. 
 Having put thy hand to the plough, it is not now a 
 day for thee to look back. « Remember Lot's wife," 
 has often been an inftructive caution, and lemon of 
 peculiar inftruction to my mind, when in danger of 
 giving up my fpiritual travail, and, rather than dif- 
 tinguifh myfelf from thofe to whom my fteppings 
 appeared foolimnefs, tempted in the bitternefs of my 
 fpirit, to fay, '« I will fpeak no more in thy name." 
 The old heavens and the old earth will (I trufl) yield 
 thee no more of their forbidden delights •, and there- 
 fore, how unwife would it be, through an imperfect 
 obedience, to deprive thy tribulated fpirit of that un- 
 dented rejoicing, which is peculiar to the new crea- 
 tion of God. I mean not, by this folicitude refpect- 
 ing thee, to be the means of promoting an activity 
 from under the renewed influence of pure wifdom, 
 or even the premature difclofing of openings into the 
 undoubted mylteries of the kingdom ; for it is a great 
 but necefTary attainment, to know how to keep the 
 Lord's fecrets, and when to reveal them. But a tru- 
 ly refigned and humble ftate of mind is a continual 
 facrifice, and will produce the fruit of the Spirit ; fo 
 that I wifh for thee and myfelf, that this root of the 
 matter may be found in us ; then, as fteady and uni- 
 form travellers we fhall gain ground in the new and 
 living way ; and leaving the things that are behind, 
 
 T %
 
 4i2 EXTRACTS uidM 
 
 (hall reach forth to thofe that are before, having onr 
 I J e (ingle unto Jefus, who alio took up the crofs and 
 deipifed the ihame. 
 
 loth month 1789 — I feel myfelf nearly interefted 
 in thine and thy wife's welfare] and am plealed with 
 every renewed capacity to fympathi/.e with you in 
 fpirit, knowing, that if yuu due 11 in that faith which 
 overcomes the world, you mult, often experience 
 trials of it, and, for its refinement, be baptized into a 
 fenfe of your own weaknefs ; perhaps fo much l'o, as 
 to acknowledge, with the hoi) Apoltle, that we have 
 the fenfence of death in ourfelves, that we ihould 
 not truft in ourlelves, " but in God who ratfeth the 
 dead." If this is your exercil'e, be encouraged to 
 faithfulnefs herein. There are many who willil 
 cry, hofanna to him who cometh in the name of the 
 Lord, but who are not bound enough in heart to the 
 pure feed of divine light, to watch and to Puffer with 
 it, at a time when there is no form nor comelinefs 
 in it ; and when it feems no otherwife to operate in 
 the foul than by making the creature abhor itielf. 
 Thefe take not that root in religion, and b 
 
 holy communion or fellow fhip with • ther 
 
 and with the Son, which qualifies the watchful chrif- 
 
 foul undoubtedly to know when 
 to rejoice in t! Ives, and not in another 3 yea, 
 
 2nd to bear tcftirnony, in the quickening virtue of 
 truth, that the Lord is rifen. 1 gn atly d< ;ire thy 
 
 r friend, bel that thou art defigaed 
 
 for an inftrument in the Lord's hands, to < m his 
 
 work, 1 j k, ami . be- 
 
 .ious people, and to be the means,
 
 LETTERS. 413 
 
 in the little fociety thou art joined to, of drawing 
 them, by thy example as well as precept, from the 
 " lo here is Chrift, and lo he is there," to the king- 
 dom of heaven in themfelves ; and of inftructing 
 them in patient waiting for its coming. This being 
 a part of thy office, I know thou muft endure much 
 hardnefs, and meet with perfecution in thyfelf, and 
 in others ; becaufe the enemy of all good will trans- 
 form himfelf as into an angel of light, and try to be- 
 guile both the fimple, and thofe who are meafurably 
 inftrucred in the kingdom : but take for thy exam- 
 ple a faithful fervant * of Jefus Chrift, who fled as 
 the dove to the window of the ark, and ftood flill in 
 that watch. Then wilt thou be rewarded with the 
 fulnefs of joy, at the coming of thy Lord, without 
 whom thou canft do nothing •, ftrength will be- given 
 thee faithfullv to bear thofe chriftian teftimonies, in 
 which thou haft mofl furely believed, and alfo to fuf- 
 fer for them, if it be the Matter's will. Then will 
 the light in thee be more and more ufeful in the 
 houfe, and the weightinefs and reverence of thy fpi- 
 rit, excite the beloved youth alfo to purchafe the 
 field where the pearl lies. May I be thy companion 
 in thefe exercifes ! my attainment in religious know- 
 ledge is fmall ; and without frequent baptifms of fpi- 
 rit, and patchings unto prayer, I find even that lit- 
 tle might foon be taken away. Let me have thy 
 prayers and the fympathy of thy fpirit, when ever 
 the pure light teaches thee fo to do. It is a comfort 
 
 * See William Leddra's epiftle in Piety Promoted 
 
 T3
 
 4 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 to us to feci thee, rod fame others of your little 
 
 iclc, in the precious covenant of lote and life, 
 
 wherein we defire to be remembered by \. u and by 
 
 10th month 17S9 — Thy p urn is matter 
 
 of joy to me. I wonder Dot at it, becaufe thou waft 
 
 thened to humble thyfelf a child ; and 
 
 therefore, on the wings of faith and love, art thou 
 exalted to behold and afpire after the hope of thy 
 calling, and even to rejoice in the renewed profpect 
 of the land which is very far 01F. Ah ! how often 
 our fpiiitual eye wants purging and re-anointing, in 
 order to lie th< ad in our meafure, to 
 
 " behold the King in his beauty ;'' and even when 
 it is {o prepared, wifdom, infinite vifdom, prcfents 
 
 els more conducive to the efta- 
 mind r one, by lc.i\ - 
 
 deftitute of fenfible enjoyment, that it loaths 
 - out, • ut thee I can do no- 
 
 .'i, like the 1 r the water 
 
 brSJ h, the River of life. Here (in ano- 
 phor) is Chrifr, t!\e Rock found, whereon* 
 a truly religious wearinefs (not impatience) of this 
 rid, and : . tend to build, fta- 
 
 . '.1 and ftren 1 us. We are but fojouni 
 
 hei j carncunefs of ipi- 
 
 rit, invar i 
 
 the very kno\. IN is 
 
 ' I, I 
 
 that 1 ; thing of it. 
 
 1 wkh
 
 LETTER S. 415 
 
 me. As to opening my mouth in our meetings, .1 
 feems as far from me as if I had never known fuch a 
 concern. A painful gloomy exercife, or a wander- 
 ing imagination, is what I have principally to ts - 
 \ i through; and yet, having been acquainted with 
 a fituation of mind much more deftitute than this, I 
 dare not but confider the invilible fupport my foul is 
 blclTL-d with) as an object of reverent gratitu.. 
 Well might David (who knew the various difpenfa . - 
 c::s of the Lord; pray that His holy fpirit might not 
 be taken from him, at the fame* time that he craved 
 the reftoration of the joys of His fulvation. But let 
 our allotment be what it may, there is fome attenti- 
 on to be paid to that precept of the gofpel, " to wafh 
 and to anoint, rather than to appear to men to faft." 
 My fituation in this large family, where many have 
 their own exercifes to pafs through, calls upon me 
 for the practice of every chriftian virtue which I ha\ e, 
 through unmerited mercy, been taught in the fchool 
 of Chrift •, and much complaint, or convention 
 about our inward ftate, except truth opens the w 
 fur it (which I truit is now the cafe,) rather decrc. 
 than increafes our ftrength. We have a friend, 
 blefTed be the great and ever worthy name, that 
 fticks ciofer than any brother ; may we then 
 to Him with full purpofe of hearc ! He can reri'. 
 refignation, and abundantly prepare us to fay, " 
 my will, but Thine be done." 
 
 11th month 1789 — I am, through infinite kind- 
 nefs, convinced that the immortality of the fcul is 
 manifeft in the fpiritual communion which, accord- 
 
 T 4
 
 4 i6 E X T R A C T S from 
 
 • to our mcafurcs, we experience in thefe mortal 
 bodies, independent of every medium originating in 
 the invention of man; and though a very defective 
 purity occa£ons with me a very defective enjoyment 
 of it, yet I feel at times a holy resolution to hold 
 faft that which I have of the unfpeakahle gift of 
 faith, and to accept it as an earnelt of the inherit- 
 ance, until, by greater degrees of Light, love, and 
 life redemption of the purchafed pofllflion is 
 
 obtained. That thou art my companion h< . nin, and 
 in hidden conflict for this glorious prize, I iecm 
 ajTured be/ond a dcubt -, and greatly defire that the 
 prefent difpenfation of unerring Wifdom may, in 
 proportion to lbs depths of forrqw which thou haft 
 experience . cl thee up, on confecrated ground, 
 to this dignifie ! attainment. Ah, my friend, thefe 
 are humble afci ndings, becaufe they are the confe- 
 c . n :c of defcending : but they are fafe ; therefore 
 not, O daughter of Zion ; lo " I am with 
 Laid ; be not difmayed, I am thy 
 
 d •, I will ftrengthen thee, I will help thee, yea, 
 I will uphold thee with the right hand of my 
 
 hteoufnefs." 
 
 iith month 1789 — Thefe are low trying ti- 
 with us, and particularly to my mind, feeling myfclf 
 often as one that I undant need to go down 
 
 again to the p through di\i 
 
 favour, ftrength is at times afforded to defcend in 
 fpirit to where a right and tru ! of myfelf, and 
 
 the purity oH the caufe 1 am fometimes engaged to 
 advocate, u obtained. We often have need of the 
 prayers, and fymputhy of c crs fpirits, and
 
 L E T T E R S. 417 
 
 oli ! that We may be kept in that faith which gives 
 the victory, Co as to wrefcle effectually for the re- 
 newed fupplies of the Spirit, that none of the dif- 
 couragements of our day may prevail againft' us. I 
 know thou haft thy fecret provings ; but fear not, 
 a greater is He that is in thee, than he that is in 
 the world." We have champions in this land, 
 who feem to defy little David's fimplicity ; but if 
 thofe who go forth againft fuch in your parts, as 
 well as here, do it in the name of the Lord God of 
 the armies of Ifrael, and with thofe weapons which 
 He approves, victory will finally be on their fide. 
 
 1 ith month 1 789 — I have long feen it necefTary to 
 watch my own heart, left while I nourifhed an ap- 
 proved chriftian fympathy with my fellow pilgrims, 
 and manifefted it in the line of apprehended duty, T 
 fhould alfo draw their attention and affections to my- 
 felf, and thereby wound the pure life by ftrengthen- 
 ing the root of felf love in both ; and inftead of 
 building up in the moft holy faith, and in a fingle 
 dependance upon the one true and everlafting Law- 
 giver, make fuch a compofition of nature and grace, 
 as would keep the mind in fermentation, rather 
 than in perfect peace \ rob of His honour the Cap- 
 tain of our falvation ; and prevent thofe mighty 
 works being done in His name which call for the 
 finglenefs of the believing heart. I have beheld an 
 evil like this in our camp, and its impediment to the 
 growth of villted minds to that ftature in Chrift, to 
 which their peace afTuredly called them. Do not 
 miftake me ; I reverence the bond of chriftian fel- 
 
 T 5 "
 
 4x8 EXTRACTS from 
 
 lowfhip, and in a fcnfe of the fcllowfhip ilfelf, with 
 its facrcd confoling unction, my fpirit has often been 
 diffolved, and fervently craved its increafc in myfclf 
 and others: yea, I have rejoiced in the flowings of 
 that language, which I can now feelingly adopt to 
 thyfclf (not from partiality fo much as from a re- 
 newed concern for thy preservation) " My longed 
 for and joy, ft and faft in the Lord, my dearly be- 
 loved." In fcafons like this, we perceive where the 
 mixture lies ; the natural part (which cannot inherit 
 the kingdom) blending with a rightly begotten ex- 
 crcife and fympathy with each other. If our mofk 
 amiable qualifications, and affectionate endearments, 
 are not fubfervient to, and fan<£tified by, the refiner 
 of hearts, they arc encumbrances to the golpcl, and 
 the fervices of it. 
 
 1 2th month 1789 — Accept the cxprcfiions of my 
 renewed love and fympathy for, and with thee y the 
 remembrance of thee is precious to my heart, be- 
 caufe I comfortably feel thee to be a fellow traveller 
 towards a city which hath foundations. We muft 
 not expect the weather, the roads, and the difpofi- 
 tion of our minds for profecuting the journey, to 
 be alw?ys plcafant ; but we muft ever be careful to 
 keep in the way ; to travel when light is upon the 
 path ; and to reft in the night. We arc not to con- 
 clude every thing loft which is out of fight ; the 
 moft valuable grain the earth yields, paffes through 
 a temporary death. Wc are moft of us fenfelefs 
 enough, at times, to be objects of the Apoftlc's 
 r<< : ing addreftj " thou fool, that which thou foweft 
 is not quickened except it die." Human nature is
 
 LETTER S. 419 
 
 {o fubjecl: to deception, that it can fruftrate, by fome 
 pollution or other, almoft every difpenfaticn, but 
 death : therefore, be thou faithful unto that, remem- 
 bering the confequent promife ; " thou ihalt receive 
 a crown of life." 
 
 1 2th month 1789 — I affure thee my heart feels for 
 thee a cordiality, which at times does myfelf good : 
 for in loving thofe who love the truth, (as I believe 
 thou doft) we unite ourfelves to a chain, the end of 
 which, however remote from the perfection of die 
 divine life, happily connects us with all the living, 
 in feeking after thofe things which excel in purity 
 and duration. One comfort that attends thofe who 
 are fimply, and fingly preffing after the hope of 
 their calling is, that they are not bound to tell all 
 they feel, neither with refpe<ft to themfclves, nor 
 others j it is not effential that they fhould fetk 
 eminence, even in the religious world. They are 
 happily fpared the trouble of fuch vain objects, and 
 find that, in folitude of fpirit, the Beloved, of fouls 
 fpeaks moft comfortably to them, and enriches them 
 with moft fpiritual bleffings, which he caufes them to 
 enjoy in heavenly places. Oh, how often I covet for 
 myfelf, and my friends, that we may keep facred, to 
 thefe " heavenly places," the gifts of the fpirit ! 
 Nature is apt to feed upon them, to balk itfelf in 
 their influence, and congratulate itfelf in the poflef- 
 iion of luch treafure ; when alas ! the gold, the pre- 
 cious gold, this way becomes dim, and is often 
 unwilely tinfeled over by the unfanctified affection of 
 the creature. I wifh, — that thou and I may poffefs 
 that love or charity which boafteth not itfelf, nor is
 
 4*o E X T R A C T 6 pro* 
 
 foon extinguished by the changeablcnefs ever to be 
 found in the face of perifhing things ; but may 
 cherifh in ourfclves the root from whence every 
 chriftian virtue fprings. Then we may have rejoicing 
 in ourfelvesj rather than in another, and our mental 
 falutations herein be more frequent than our exprcl- 
 
 iions of them. Thy account of clear is 
 
 comfortable, ihe is a truly valuable woman, and will 
 I hop-, more and more, {hew herfelf to be what fhe 
 is. Obfcurity i always granted to thole who 
 
 molt feck it : it is foraetimes a favourable climate for 
 the fruits of humiliation's valley ; but theie are in 
 wifdom, and for the good of mankind, often expofed 
 for thole that thirft, and h /t nothing wherewith 
 bm . 
 
 1 2th month i 789 — A week or two after our return 
 I ibljn, A. S. departed this life. "We hear flic 
 had fore conflict of mind fot fome days', greatly 
 fearing her future welfare : fo pure did that kingdom 
 appear, when her admired lrvelinefs, and faculty of 
 pleafing ccafed ; when plcafant pictures of fpiritual 
 thing- torn to pieces, and the day that burn 
 
 . 1 oven came upon them. But this heavinefs of 
 fpirit was n merciful difpenfation ; the chaftifement 
 yielded peaceable fruit ; for before flie finally took 
 her leave of vifible things, fhc had to acknowledge 
 unfailing mercies. 
 
 1 2th month 1789 — I have fern, in my fhort life, 
 fo much fallacy in human wifdom refpccYmg matri- 
 monial CO ions, and fo much blefling fhowered 
 upon an attention to fimple uncorrupted openings, 
 %-rrich have not at firft appeared moft plaufible, that
 
 LETTER S. 4 >r 
 
 I fecm to have no faith left in any direction but that 
 which the devoted heart finds to make for peace. In 
 concerns of this fort, it is often very difficult for fuch 
 to judge, becaufe prepoffeffion and inclination are 
 apt to influence our belt feelings. Natural affecTion 
 bears fome rcfembhnce of facred impulfe ; and 
 therefore, methinks that this feed) though ever fo 
 right, muft die in the ground before it be quickened 
 and fanclified. In fhort there are few openings, for 
 our and the general good, which have not to pafs 
 through this temporary death, few gifts but what are 
 defigned to be buried in baptifm : and I wifh thee, if 
 ever thou poffefs a female companion, to obtain her 
 as a fruit of the new creation ; that fo thou mayft 
 reap thofe fpiritual advantages which thofe enjoy, 
 who, through the effectual working of the grace of 
 God, drink together into one fpirit, whether in fuf- 
 fering or in rejoicing ; for without this experience, 
 Zion's travellers muft find fuch connections to be 
 fecretly burthenfome and infipid. 
 
 ift month 1790 — I rejoice that the Keeper of 
 Ifrael, who fleeps not by day, nor {lumbers by night, 
 hath thee under his providential care. This is a 
 fuftaining perfuafion, a hope in times of trial, 
 which fettles the otherwife toffed mind on the confe- 
 crated ground of pure dependence : mayft thou 
 never doubt it, Satan will not fail to affault thee, 
 fometimes in roaring about thy dwelling, and fome- 
 times, with the fubtilty of the prince of the air, 
 feeking to take poffeffion of all within thee, which 
 can poffibly incline to difobey the commands of in- 
 fcrutable and infinite wifdom. Remember he was a
 
 EXTRACTS from 
 
 from the beginning •, and invariably oppofcth tho 
 exaltation of the mountain of the Lord's home. 
 He prefers .my hill to this ; and had rathe? we were 
 1 to the hei I our own imaginations, 
 
 and the teat of judgment, there to c< udemn our- 
 (elves, and re ah D out of doors the convictions of 
 truth, than that we ihould die daily to the will of the 
 creature, ami fit in reverent dependence at the feet of 
 Him who bruifesthe ferpent's head. 
 
 i it month 1790 — I want thee to be encourap 
 and to put all thy confidence in the evcrlafting an; . 
 Leave, as much as poffible, things that are beh! 
 be content with the preient emptineis (when it i 
 portion) and neither toil nor fpin for future fu 
 He that cloaths the lilies and the grafs of the field, 
 is abundantly able and ready, in his own time, I 
 
 .1 his gracious providence, and minifter, fi 
 the treafures of wndom and ki. i e, to his flock 
 and family, even through the weak and foolilh 
 things of this world ; fo that things which are not, 
 (minds reduced to a fenfe of their r.othingncft) ; 
 bring to nought tilings which are. The christian's 
 ftrength confifts in the favour and countenance of bis 
 Captain; and the obtain ;!■;•< leads the mind 
 
 i; to that abafednefs wh< Sai . fii Is himfelf 
 COm£ nd his head bruited. "He fhall b: . 
 
 thy heel." Little indeed is in his power, if 
 maintain the humility, the f.mp'.icitv, and holy dig- 
 of a converted fouL "'■ Wi rds n r.unc- 
 
 ccflary at ; '1 lie Mailer, who knows what 
 
 tin u > infl bear, will I doubt n-- : thee thy meat 
 in due Uafon, waken theemor;.:
 
 LETTER B. 4^3 
 
 caufe thine ear to hear as the learned : in all things 
 may he inftruet thee to difcretion, and prefcrvc thee 
 in the way whercinto he hath led thee, even that 
 way which truly no fowl knoweth ! I know, from 
 a degree of experience, that the farther we get from 
 a dependence upon inftrumental confolaticn, the 
 more likely we are, with holy certainty, to difcover 
 (amidft inward conflicts) the indubitable evidence cf 
 being upon the true foundation, the feal of adoption, 
 the white ftone with the new name, &c. The \cry 
 chaftifements which introduce the mind to this hum- 
 bling knowledge, are (when pafTed by) fweet to 
 the new tafte, as the honey and the honeycomb. 
 
 ift month 1790 — I did not forget thee j but truly 
 fclf was at that time fo much the objeft and fubje<ft 
 of my cares and exertions, that if I could but any 
 way keep my head above water thereby., it was more 
 than my doubting mind could at times hope for. 
 Ah, my dear friend, I have a heart prone to rebel 
 againft, and live above the pure principle of truth ; 
 and becaufe thereof, my fpirit is at times covered with 
 mourning as with a garment 5 and more especially, 
 when I confider the greatnefs, and the holinefs of that 
 Name, of which I venture to make mention in the 
 congregation of the Lord's people. It is mercy, no- 
 thing fhort of mercy, fo marveiloufly difplayed in the 
 choice of veffels for facred fervices in the church. 
 " He will have mercy on whom he will have mer- 
 cy :" this truth baffles human reafoning : and there- 
 fore, let thee and me covet an incresfe of the increafe 
 of God, and afic in faith for the beft gifts. Being 
 afflicted with, the impurity of ftruggling nature, let
 
 4 2 4 EXTRACTS from 
 
 us come boldly to the throne of grace, to help us in 
 the needful time, and to fettle our fpirits in calm ac- 
 quieScence with, and resignation to, the diSpenSati- 
 ons of infinite wiSdom -, that fb, from every tempta- 
 tion and tribulation, our fouls may be reliored, with 
 this immortal and unadulterated fong, " thy will be 
 done." If we are but as the ram's horns, through 
 which the Shepherd of Ifrael fpeaks at times to his 
 people, (in concert with his inward and more defpi- 
 fed teaching) let us be content, and {imply Seek an 
 holy conformity to, and adorning of his doctrine. 
 
 2d month 1790 — It is not by might or by power, 
 but by the fpirit of the Lord, that His work pros- 
 pers, or his praife is effected ; and therefore a little 
 one may be made " a thoufand, and a fmall one a 
 Strong nation." Under this perfuafion, the faith is 
 Strengthened in the Omnipotence of the fmalleft re- 
 velation of the Lord's Arm in our little Services, and 
 our truSt removed from the appearance of Strength, 
 to Strength itfclf. The rich man cannot glory in his 
 riches, nor the Strong man in his Strength, but the 
 cauSe of glorying is found to be in the righteous go- 
 vernment and difpenSations of our Holy Head. Thy 
 letter brought you all So much to my mind, that it 
 med as if I was with you, Sharing in your concern^, 
 and Seeling in part that weight of exercife with which 
 dependant fen ants are introduced into their held of 
 labour. Now perhaps I may congratulate you on 
 the completion hereof, and participate in that hum- 
 ble rejoicing wherewith Ebcne/' r's arc Set up. I Ser- 
 vently deSire to poSSeSs an increaSing capacity to Seel 
 with the members of the myStical body, wherever
 
 LETTERS. 425 
 
 fcattered, or however concealed in the depths of the 
 wildernefs from the human eye ; for I am perfuaded 
 that, as our fpirits are regulated by the president of 
 this church, they will, at times, be carried beyond 
 the bounds of obfervation, to vifit the feed in prifon. 
 
 3d month 1790 — Though my heart Sympathizes 
 fo nearly and tenderly with thee and thy dear wife, 
 as that I could mingle my tears with yours, yet I 
 dare not utter the language of commiferation, for 
 your late lofs of a lovely plant out of your garden ; 
 but rather of congratulation for the blelTed experi- 
 ence, that " the eternal God is your refuge, and 
 that underneath are the everlafting arms." Herein I 
 rejoice, and will rejoice that fuch unadulterated con- 
 folation is miniftered to the poor in fpirit. You 
 have a frefh opportunity, my beloved friends, by 
 pure refignation, to commit your fpirits, your chil- 
 dren, and your, fubftance, into divine keeping. 
 May nothing impede the progrefs and perfection of 
 this work, this glorious work, whereby the fong of 
 the redeemed is learned, and qualification wrought 
 to unite with the heavenly hoft, in proclaiming, that 
 " worthy is the Lord God and the Lamb, to receive 
 riches, honour, and power, both now and for ever." 
 A mind centred to the fource of inftruction, wifdom, 
 and Strength, can receive little more by fuch commu- 
 nications as thefe, than an outward and vhlble fign 
 of that inward and fpiritual grace, wherewith the foul 
 is replenished, and wherein it finds the fubftance of 
 all that is truly good. It is neverthelefs an allowable 
 accommodation to the weaknefs of fenfe, thus to 
 commune j and having, in moments of drooping,
 
 A z6 EXTRACTS from 
 
 been refreshed by thy tender fympathy and fahita- 
 tions, my heart is bound in chriftian affection to lhare 
 thy griefs, and hail thee on every renewed acccihon 
 to the Matter's crofs, and participation of his crown. 
 Oh my friend, what nailing we take, before we are 
 bound to it ! how nature oppofes that holy experi- 
 ence of being led as a lamb to the {laughter, and as 
 a Oieep that is dumb before its (hearers. Hard as the 
 work is, with God all things arc poiiible; and there- 
 fore let us watch and be lober, adding to our faith 
 v : rtue ; that when the power is revealed by which we 
 can do all things, we being in readinels, may advance 
 from itrength to iuength, and finally appear before 
 the Lord in Zion, amongft thole who arc fully fanc- 
 tified. We are now returned from our quarterly 
 meeting, where I truft the gofpel cauie did not go 
 backward. We ought not to look for great things ; 
 we do not deferve them. And I perceive that when 
 we are moft dipped into this fenfe, life and immorta- 
 lity (being gracioufly in waiting) are the moft fure to 
 be brought to light. Therefore let us be humbled 
 under the mighty hand, that we may be thus truly 
 exalted in due time ; yea, in all our provings, let us 
 fink down into our own nothingnefs, and value every 
 difpenfation which clothes us with it ; for then, mc- 
 thinks, we lhall learn in every thing to give thanks. 
 
 3d month 1790 — Thou haft, my dear friend, <>t 
 late appeared to me to be preparing to i ' , ac- 
 
 cording to the facred COUnfel of the great Mafter to 
 His diftiplcs:, without or purfc, or two coats, 
 
 reduced ro a fimplc pon renewed iup- 
 
 plies from the holy trculury, and learning, in a new
 
 LETTERS. 427 
 
 line of fervice, to live by faith. Mayft thou en- 
 creaie in the certain knowledge, that the Lord is 
 gracious unto fuch humble faithful walkers before 
 him. I feel a confidence that it will be fo, and that 
 thy feet will grow more and more confpicuoufly beau- 
 tiful upon the mountains ; becaufe they are, beyond 
 all fhadow of doubt, (hod with the preparation of 
 the gofpel of peace, and through adorable kindnefs, 
 waflied for the fervice on which thou art now fet out : 
 therefore gird up the loins of thy mind, and hope to 
 the end. Do not be afraid of the gloomy exercifes 
 into which thy mind may often be baptized. Re- 
 member that even the great Mafter, who knew with- 
 out fear or doubting that he fhould glorify the Father, 
 groaned in himfelf before he raifed Lazarus from the 
 dead. Do, I intreat thee, offer thyfelf up freely, and 
 do not feek to cut thy matter fhorter than is con- 
 fiftent with thy peace. Look forward and not back- 
 ward ; for if I am not miftaken, thy progrefs in the 
 work whereunto thou art called, is not defigned to 
 be as flow as fome thou mayft efteem thy cotempora- 
 ries ; and it is as great an evil to take from the words 
 of the prophecy of the book, as to add to them. 
 
 3d month 1790 — Your many teftimonies of 
 affection for us, your repeated accounts refpe<fting 
 yourfdves, and, above all, your fteady increafe in 
 laving knowledge, of which we are perfi.aded, are 
 frequent occahons of humble thankfulnefs to the Fa- 
 ther of mercies, whole bieffings, variously Ihowered 
 upon you and us, are worthy of reverent commemo- 
 ration, and grateful enquiry, what we fhall render 
 unto him therefore. It is little, very little, that we
 
 428 EXTRACTS from 
 
 can do for fo bountiful a Shepherd ; nor does He, 
 bleffed be His name, require at our hands what He has 
 not furniihed us with ability to perform: hut that lit- 
 tle, let us prcfent at, or taft into the fecret treafury, 
 not doubting His companionate acceptance. An 
 humble rcfigned fpirit is a gift which, 1 believe, was 
 never refilled at the altar. It is, whilft preferred, a 
 continual offering, a fwect fmelling facrifice, the 
 favour of life unto life in thofe that believe ; it is a 
 bulwark or fortrefs, where, in times of defcrtion, 
 temptation and tribulation, the weary foul finds inci- 
 ter, and all the armour of light againft Satan's attacks 
 and fiery darts. Now, my beloved friends, my 
 heart feels you as companions in the chriftian path ; 
 and in your exercifes, your difcouragements m . 1 
 poverty of fpirit, I participate ; though diftant in the 
 outward, yet as the Apoftle faid, " prefent in fpirit." 
 — Be affured that the fame afflictions are meafurably 
 accomplifhed in every true member of the myftical 
 body. You have companions therein, and need 
 not be told, that all thefe things are intended for our 
 refinement, and encreafing ufefulnefs and fervice in 
 the church militant here on earth : that when this 
 mortal fhall put on immortality, the tribulated fpirit 
 may obtain an eternal rcfidencc, in the glorious 
 church triumphant, where all tears are wiped away : 
 theft arc animating considerations, and prompt us to 
 endure hardncTs like good foldiers of Jefus Chrift, 
 and to receive with thank! iving every humiliation 
 and fpiritual baptilYn. 1 know, dear friend, that if 
 thou art mercifully kept quick in underftanding in 
 the fear of the Lord, the weak, unconverted ftale
 
 LETTERS. 429 
 
 of many of your members will occafion thee to go 
 mourning on thy way, at the fame time that thou finds 
 a neceffity to attend to that command of the great 
 Mafter, to wafli and anoint rather than appear unto 
 men to fait. This hidden exercife of fpirit will ef-> 
 poufe thee more clofely to the heavenly bridegroom, 
 who hath the fpirit of wifdom and underftanding, 
 and who judges not after the fight of the eye, or the 
 hearing of the ear. I do hope, my beloved friends, 
 that your labours will be bleft though yourfelves 
 think them very weak and fmall. If our treafure is" 
 but laid up in heaven, no matter how little our cor- 
 rupt hearts are entrufted with the knowledge of it. 
 Be not afraid of leaving the fheep and lambs, when 
 the good Shepherd calls to any duty 5 His care is bet- 
 ter than ours, and He can iupply all your needs, by 
 the riches of His grace in Chrilt Jefus our Lord. 
 
 4th month 1790 — I am comforted in finding that 
 your hearts are knit together like David and Jona- 
 than's, in oppofition to every ftratagem which Satan 
 may ule. As I do believe the cement is compofed of 
 materials acceptable to the penetrating eye of the 
 great Preferver of men, lb I truft you will feel your 
 union to be a balm through the future fteppings of 
 chriftian and focial travel, however it may pieale infi- 
 nite Wifdom to dilpofe of you, as to your outward 
 fettlements, or journeyings in the prefent world. — 
 Settle it in thy heart, to expect a mixture of bitter- 
 nefs in that cup of comfort:, which the great Mailer 
 may minifter to thee. No deadly forrow is in the 
 bleifing ; but evil things, and mutable things, till 
 our purification is complete, have a power over us
 
 434) EXTRAC T S from 
 
 which keeps our fpirks in a ftate of prolitable gronn- 
 ing •, and if we do but experience the fulfilling of 
 that gracious promife, that for the cryinga of the 
 poor, an. 1 for tl ings of the needy, he will arife, 
 
 let us thank him and take courage. 
 
 My beloved 's letter came at a time more 
 
 ptable than would be prudent for me this way to 
 ribe. I: renewed that precious participation of 
 each other's exercifes and confutations, which I do 
 believe originates in the fountain of everlafting love. 
 I look with hun. Me admiration at that holy hand 
 which is leading thee about, and Lnftru&ing thee ; 
 and my faith is ftrong that the Lord will keep thee 
 as the apple of his eye, and, in his own time, make 
 all clouds of difcouraj I as the duft of his feet. 
 
 Thou knoweft, ind thou wilt more ant! more know, 
 that, fort: 1 , right] rmance of :<ny religious fer- 
 
 vice, w Paying from veffel to veflelj and 
 
 when we conlider how many have fuffered by an im- 
 perfect experience of this ■ • wo-k, we ought not 
 to lament at any difpenfation, or change of feafons, 
 whicl | i •aft degree, nearer to that 
 
 and fta , for which infinite kindnefs defigns 
 
 rth month 17 ■ '< - Th I m ifure of ronvevfion 
 h is effentially neceilary, rightly to introduce us 
 into every new Lin <>t i< < ■■ '< •-, refem- 
 
 blance to the firfl fo i> of the greal into the 
 
 chriftian rel ' (hone around him; fuch 
 
 convict-' :ed his foul, that whilft he aiked, 
 
 " who nrt thou," he called h m Lord; he consulted 
 not with flelh and I : happy reiignation ! whjcB
 
 LETTERS. 431 
 
 however, did not keep him out of the Jlreet called 
 Straity neither for a time were his eyes fuffered to be 
 opened. — We have each our peculiar exercifes, as 
 we have each our peculiar infirmities ; all which, 
 through fimctification and purification of heart, may 
 help us forward to a final icttlement in that glorious 
 city, whofe inhabitants no more fay they are lick. 
 — I hope thou wilt not draw back from any opening 
 to duty, which thou mayft be favoured with. The 
 right time, and our time, do not always agree ; but 
 we ought invariably to bear teftimony to the firft, by 
 the fubordination of the latter. « Wifdom is jufti- 
 fied of her children ■" and therefore do not reafon 
 unprofitably upon thy duty. 
 
 7th month 1790 — It was pleafant to be informed 
 of thy fafe landing in Ireland. I hope thy drooping 
 mind has been reirefhed, not only by the ftrengthen- 
 ing fympathy of fellow-travelers, but alfo by the 
 compofing, and yet animating virtue of Shiloh's 
 ftreams, and that thou haft been enabled to lie down 
 befide thefe waters which run lbftly. Thou knoweft 
 that when we can get here, it is like getting home, 
 to a joy with which no ftranger can intermeddle. 
 The increafe of fuch a capacity is what my foul longs 
 for j that in this exerciiing journey before us, where- 
 in creaturely efforts can do little for the promotion 
 of the great caufe, the pure feed may, from place to 
 place, be at leaft fecretly viuted \ and that whether 
 effects may be feen or not, the work, in divine con- 
 defceniion, may be hid with the Lord. 
 
 nth month 1790 — The comfortable evidence 
 thou mentions, of there being a power ftrong in pro-
 
 432 EXTRACTS from 
 
 portion to thy weakrefs, ftrengthens my declining 
 id encourages me to lay hold on the fame 
 bleiTed hope, becauie it met the witnefs in my heart 
 that lays it is the truth. A confidence fo precious is 
 not to be caft ..way ; it is d< Signed for an anchor to 
 the poor veSfel, fi - i try attacking it to eternal help, 
 when, in divine wifdom, its courfe is retrained on 
 the waters of affliction and uncertainty. Then let 
 me fay, caft not away thy confidence, for therein is 
 ..t reeompenee of reward. We are often tempt- 
 ed to do this; Sometimes, in the multitude of ob- 
 jects, forgetting the great fource of good, and means 
 of preservation j and at i . looking fo timidly 
 
 and doubtfully at them, as to lofe our interest in 
 both. May thou and I, watch againft thefe and o- 
 ther evils -, and pray, according to our meafure of 
 faith, that that fpirit ma\ prefide i.i as, which can 
 rejoice in God alone, though none elle regard it, or 
 can own it.-> life. 
 
 i 790 — I cannot know that thy Sufferings 
 
 and temptations are fo deep, without feeling an af- 
 fectionate, lifterly Solicitude about thee, at the fame 
 time that I y . with joy thy fteppmgs .ire in the 
 
 footfteps of the flock. But with the greateft cordi- 
 ality do I find, that thou canft not draw thy con: - 
 »rw from the S, of fellow difciples. 
 
 The welt's mouth being clof d in thyl'elf, tliou fitted 
 mn-iming ai it, and every drop of water brought th e 
 from thy neighbour':, overflowings, Serves but to aug- 
 n Mentation; for rhy third cannot he Sitif- 
 
 fied ith that, which is not the " well in thee (prill ;- 
 
 . up into nrerlafting life." I am glad thou art reioW-
 
 LETTERS. 433 
 
 ed to be patient ; if thou holdeft thy integrity herein, 
 and letteft patience have its perfect work, thou wilt 
 iind more perfection in this difpenfation than is ma- 
 nifeft at prefent, and moreover thou wilt lack nothing. 
 Then be of good cheer, my beloved friend : believe 
 in the fatherly care and compaffion of Him who is 
 the Lord Almighty ; and doubt not that all His chaf- 
 tifements are the more indelibly to fix the feal of a- 
 doption upon thy fpirit ; whereby thy qualifications 
 may be ftrengthened to cry Abba, Father ! in pro- 
 portion to the increafe of thy fervices in and for His 
 Name. Were not the experiences of the Lord's 
 dealings to us as individuals fomewhat deep, there 
 might be more danger of {tumbling in the paths of 
 judgment, when, for the welfare of others, we may 
 be turned into them ; and marvel not if, after this 
 baptifm with which thou art baptized, the Mafter, 
 who is rich in mercy, and infcrutable in wifdom, calls 
 upon thee for fome new- act of dedication. Till then, 
 fight the good fight of faith ; now is thy time to 
 prove the Sufficiency of thy ever victorious Captain. 
 Refolve if thou perifh, it mall be at His footftool. 
 Let not out thine ear to the accufer of the brethren, 
 believe him not, even respecting thyfelf, when he 
 tells thee that thou art not what thy friends take thee 
 to be. But if the Father chaftens, and draws thee 
 from man's judgment, by fhewing thee the fallibility 
 thereof, cleave to him as to thy beft friend. Expe- 
 rience will convince thee, that whoever ftand thro' 
 the ftorms attendant on their pilgrimage for the ho- 
 nour of the great Name, muft learn to pafs through 
 
 U
 
 434 EXTRACTS from 
 
 good report, as well as evil reportj with an equal 
 neglect of it as fuch ; for the weapons of their war- 
 fare being fpiritual, they muft not fail to apply them 
 to the fpiritual wickednefs in the high, but fecret 
 places ol their own hearts. Self is apt to feed upon 
 the manifeft unity of our friends, and to draw our 
 attention from the pure and ftrengthening virtue 
 which fupplieth every joint of the myftical body ; 
 rendering us lefs capable, than we otherwife fhould 
 be, of catin^ that bread which the world knows not 
 of. 
 
 I have a comfortable hope refpecti 
 
 thy profperity and prcfervation, and already rejoice 
 in the fymptoms thereof. That one cipecially, of 
 the palling away of the old heavens and the old earth, 
 is fo favourable, that I trulr thou wilt fully refign 
 thyfelf thereto, that fo they may be remembered no 
 more, nor come into, to way-lay thy mind in any of 
 its preparations for gofpcl fervice. Yes, my heart 
 can feci with thee, in thy frequent incapacity to re- 
 joice in even the pureft friendship, or to fupport it 
 by the ciiulions of natural affection. Oh that all 
 whofe hearts and tongues have been animated with 
 the live coal from the urrcd Altar, had fully pallid 
 through 09 of th I rtj mcthinks the 
 
 priefthood, and other living members in the church, 
 would be more burning and (hilling lights, ha- 
 • • chriftian fympathy for each other, and of- 
 tl r il " field of fpiritual excr- 
 
 -, or, la other words, enjoy the t. • nmunion 
 
 of I We lnifs many of the excellent promifes 
 
 at of coming to, and dwelling
 
 LETTERS. 435 
 
 in, that humbled fituation of mind to which they 
 belong. How many fit in judgment, who never 
 fufficiently, by virtue of the meeknefs of their fpirits, 
 were guided in the midft of its paths ! How often 
 do we hear attempts to fmg the praife of Zion's King, 
 by thofe whofe general conduct bears no teftimony 
 to a fervent travail of their fpirits after deliverance 
 from the enemies of their own houfes, and who con- 
 fequently cannot ftand upon its banks. Though I 
 often fear it is the tale, I dread to fettle down (be- 
 caufe it fometimes appears to be my duty to fhew un- 
 to others their trail fgrefiions) as if the work was 
 done at home, and my foul's adverfary overcome ; 
 when, peradventure, his force is redoubled, and his 
 artifice herein more than ever effectual . " Watch 
 and pray," fweetly occurs to my mind, and for this 
 good end, " that ye enter not into temptation ;" 
 that the veflel may be preferred in fanctification and 
 honour, and that the immortal birth may have its 
 habitation in a purified temple. Then may the new 
 heavens, the new earth, and the holy mountain, in 
 times of refrefhing, break forth into finging, becaufe 
 the Lord comforts his people, and hath mercy upon 
 his anTicled. 
 
 FINIS.
 
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