Mrt.iSv }•'•'- • C^^f.'l I, -fr^^ CI sroMS CAN roN Br THE SAME AUTHOR. LAYS OF FAR CATHAY. LAYS AND RELAYS. VERSE AND WORSE. HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA ^> THE LOWDAH HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA BY J. O. p. BLAND ILLUSTRATED BY W. D. STRAIGHT LONDON EDWARD ARNOLD 1909 All rights reserved CUSTOIViS LIBRARY CANTON TO ALL GOOD, COMPANIONABLE MEN, WHO PREFER THE SKY TO ANY CEILING, AND THE SONG OF THE WEST WIND TO ALL THE WISE TALK OF PEDANTS, PHILOSOPHERS, AND STALL-FED CITIZENS, GLADLY DO I COMMEND THIS BOOK IF ONLY BECAUSE IT IS NOT (aND NEVER CAN BE) A STANDARD WORK ON CHINA. Peking, December 1908. 20(;51S3 CONTENTS CHAPTER I PAGE The Boat and its Pidgin ....... i CHAPTER II The Lowdah and his Crew CHAPTER III The Manage afloat .... CHAPTER IV Of Dogs ....... CHAPTER V The Nearer Hunting-Grounds 15 24 33 43 CHAPTER VI The Quarry .......... 52 CHAPTER VII The Lord of the Soil ........ 68 CHAPTER VIII The Ethics of Houseboat Travel ...... 87 CHAPTER IX Of the Eternal Feminine . . . . . . .101 vii vili HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA CHAPTER X PAGE Of Ducks, Rain, and other Matters . . . . -1^3 CHAPTER XI Missionaries, Mandarins, and Morals . . . • .128 CHAPTER Xn On the Hypnotic Influence of the P'utzu .... 141 CHAPTER XIII Preparations for a Grand Sortie . . . . . • ^53 CHAPTER XIV To THE Chientang River . . . . . . .163 CHAPTER XV Discipline on Board the Ark . . . . . . .185 CHAPTER XVI Of Riverside Memories . . . . ... . .201 CHAPTER XVII Of Smuggling and some Aspects of the Art of Government . 217 CHAPTER XVIII Of Spring Snipe and the coming of the Railway . . . 235 CHAPTER XIX Of Geese and a Dead City . . . . . . .252 CHAPTER XX Of Books and Poetry and Babus ...... 263 CHAPTER XXI On coming Home ......... 278 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS PLATES The Lowdah ......... Frontispiece A Boatman of the Chientang River . . . To face p. i8o MAP Map of Country near Shanghai . . . . . Jt End IX -.r i j i rut CHAPTER I "We are what suns and winds and waters make us." — Landor. " Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things. And it is not by any means certain that a man's business is the most important thing he has to do." — Stevenson. ^OR those to whom the Yangtsze is but a name, the existence of the European's houseboat thereon requires explanation ; for, like many another feature of life on the fringe of Eastern Asia, it is an exotic growth, slowly evolved as the white man has adapted himself to a new and mediaeval environment. To most people the word will no doubt call up visions either of those unwieldy float- ing parlours which line the comfortable banks of Thames in summer, or that more navigable but cheerless craft dis- covered by Mr. Bangs on the cold tide of Styx. But to us in China the houseboat is become as much and as intimate a factor of existence as Taotais, the chit-system, or any other of the parochial matters which differentiate our lives from I B 2 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA those of Upper Tooting. And so, though I may be tedious, I shall explain matters for the benefit of the uninitiated. Imprimis, however, a word to the enlightened reader, the old resident (bless his querulous ways !), who, rightly enough, asks to be informed of your book's raison d'etre. A record of Idleness, my dear Sir, trivial things set down in garrulous mood and chiefly for the delectation (if so it may be) of fellow-Idlers. Herein you shall find little geography and even less science, except it be such as all may take, by favour of the gods, from " pleasure trips into the lands of Thought and among the Hills of Vanity." A little chronicle. Madam, in memory of glad sunlit days, of cheery companions, and the joy of living. No great matter at best, and yet, to those who, smoking tolerant pipes, perceive through the haze something of relative values, our boat and its affairs may, from a philosophic standpoint, be as worthy of attention as any of the world- shaking matters that reverberate from the House by the River at Westminster. The houseboat of the lower Yangtsze regions owes her existence to several causes, of which the first is the wander- lust imbred in the Anglo-Saxon, and, second, the absence of all roads, except waterways, in China. She is the embodi- ment in canvas and timber of European ideas adapted to Celestial ways and byways, ideas of accommodation, water- craft, and common humanity. This for the general ; but beyond this, of necessity, lies the expression of individual identity common to all ships, so that, crossing the gang- plank of the Water-Baby or the Mighty Atom^ you shall say at a glance what manner of men their owners be. THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN 3 In the beginning of things the houseboat of Shanghai, such craft as the gentlemanly opium smugglers used in the days when the Eight Princes held their tinsel Court at Nanking, were nothing more than the native wusieh k'uaiy equipped with camp beds to keep down vermin, and curtains to keep out the winds of heaven. And in remote spots one may yet fare right well in these native boats ; of which more anon. But your Chinese ship, big or little, is an unwieldy craft, built on the principle common to the life of this people that there is always room for one more, and indifferent as to how or where he shall bestow himself. It is eminently adapted for a race which travels as a matter of choice in the patriarchal manner, which cooks its food in the helmsman's bunk and eats it on the cabin floor ; but British ideas of "ship-shape " as well as the exigencies of racial division aboard called for gradual amendment of the type. Therefore, our boat was brought to a form combining the qualities of house comfort and ship speed ; Chinese rigging gave place to English sails ; lee-boards were added, and finally brasswork, awnings, and a coat of paint made the thing complete. Its evolution, which may be traced in old photographs, has taken forty years, and the last word has not yet been spoken. * Philosophers are agreed that the common fate of all noble and great devices of man, unless restrained by abiding virtue or an energetic police, is to fall away from the first ideal state, and this by reason of the cankerworm of luxury. It is an old-world struggle this, of Stoic and Epicurean, to be found for the seeking at every turn of the grim cie LIBR. 4 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA human comedy. In the matter of houseboats one may see clearly its evidences and portents. Let us say nothing of such elephantine freaks as Simeon may build, whereon to give his Gargantuan feasts, al fresco^ on summer nights ; tavern -ships with pianolas and plush fittings, happily unseen beyond harbour limits or, at their worst, dis- turbing the stillness of the nearer hills. Nor need I refer to those boudoir boats, lace-curtained and mirrored, whose owners must needs find a way to spend their money, and whose chief use lies in up-river picnics, entertainments wherein gramophones, parasols, much food and some gallantry combine to relieve the dulness of Whangpoo scenery. In another place, if I find myself in a proper and delicate humour, I shall refer to the question of the fair sex in its relation to houseboats ; as for these vessels of the Sybarites, let us leave them at their moorings. For they are excrescences, of their nature ephemeral, unworthy of serious regard. Let us not speak of these, but only of houseboats pour le bon motifs and even here honesty compels the admission that there exists evidence of the insidious cankerworm aforesaid. It is a curious fact that as the flesh-pots of the white man in China have waned in their fatness, as the conditions of his life have gradually come to conform more closely 'to the standards of the lands which sent him forth, as the pro- fitable hazards of the game have grown less, so has the candle of his comfort's needs waxed ever greater. The fact scarcely calls for demonstration ; its evidence meets us on the threshold of every villa residence, protrudes itself in all THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN 5 our dining-rooms, in our clubs, and on our backs ; and the houseboat, compared with the craft of twenty years ago, affords proof of the advances we have made in comfortable materialism. The thing was at first of its nature simple, a fitting answer to the call of the wild ; but now, when trans- continental railways are making us one of London's remoter suburbs, and the voice of Israel (via New York and Moscow) is in our ears, our boats are becoming finicky things, tricked out with marble baths and gold paint. 'Tis an easy descent, its impulse the same which leads many a good woman to turn her house into a restaurant, but its results are unpleasant. To give you an instance : I have lately been told of a boat built to contain four persons in luxury, a thing in itself so contrary to the philosophy of up- country wanderings that one can only explain it as due to continental influence or the yellow peril at our gates. This monstrous invention has folding beds of full size, a bathroom with hot and cold water laid on, dining-room for six, and a patent card-table ; moreover, she is provided with a petrol motor-engine which drives her through the water at six miles an hour, with hideous noise and stink. True, this is an extreme case, and Grandison, her owner, is the sort of man who goes to the theatre with his compradore ; but the germ of an unholy competition is abroad, and there is need for us, the brotherhood of Idlers, to walk home carefully in the paths of simplicity. The cigarettes of Egypt are well enough in their place, but on the hillsides give me the honest briar. It is not given to the works of man to combine all the 6 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA virtues, and the reader will observe that our houseboat, being useful, is not a thing of absolute beauty. Those who desire an exact description of her build and equipment will not find it here, for, in the first place, your technical details are but dry stuff, and, in the second, this is a matter on which, as with feminine loveliness, we do not all agree. Let me therefore but roughly outline the Saucy Jane^ so that those who have never crossed her gang-plank may know something of her interior economy and uses. The houseboat, like all Gaul, is divided into three parts — the white man's, the yellow man's, and the dogs' ; and since the object of its being is that all these should dwell together, for days or weeks, in such good content as may be, the proportion of space which each enjoys is a matter on which much depends. I speak of the boat for two, whose average length is forty-five feet, with an eight-feet beam amidships. In such a one a cabin twelve feet by eight should suffice for any decent pair of Christians and sportsmen ; all good fellowship and much peace of mind can travel easily in a smaller space. For your free-moving man, who in his waking hours must have room to swing a cat, or indeed in any event, it is an excellent thing to have bunks which fold and fit nicely into the walls, for not only do you thus avoid during the day that dormitory aspect which has been known to offend sensitive minds, but these bunks being provided with locks, you can enjoy the pleasant certainty that no un- savoury native will sleep on them during your absence. Forward of the mast the ship is decked some three feet higher than the level of the cabin floor ; in this place is the THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN 7 kennel, as ample as possible, while leaving room in the house for a chain locker and those mysterious depths where, under our protection, the lowdah carries his smuggled salt and other perquisites. Bluff bows of the Chinese type are best, affording grateful space above and below ; as our journeyings are usually on pacific inland waters, we can cheerfully take the risk of an occasional bumping in a head sea. Much of the joy of houseboat days depends on g-ood deck-room forward, which ^ should give place at least for two ■^■•^^ ^ cane chairs. There, smoking tU| the sunset pipe, your body tingling with the health of a long day in the open, and your mind at peace with gods and men, you may watch the soft sinking of twilight to dusk, and dusk . , 1 . . , The Dingy. to night, derivmg a very human sense of added ease from the contemplation of the coolies' labours ; or, as the dawn comes up over the edge of your flat, sail-dotted world, you may here fill your lungs with the morning breeze, blowing sweet-scented from the rape fields, and thank God that you are alive. All of us, if we stop to think it out, would sooner share what Whitman calls " the cooling influences of external nature " with a congenial friend or book on the quarter-deck of our wandering boat than sit in the busiest money-mill on earth ; the pity of it is that we go on, nevertheless, most of our days, groping in our subterranean ways, while, far overhead, 8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA larks are singing and the sun is shining on God's wonderful world ; and so the swift years pass, until from our narrow path we emerge to find Charon waiting for us by the cold stream. Every day that we rescue from the gloomy routine of our counting-houses and gas-lit streets to spend under the open sky is a day of grace ; this is a truth which even Chicago may recognise, as its spasmodic cult of the * simple life ' bears witness. All of which digression comes from the memory of hours fortunately spent beyond the frontiers of fancy on our houseboat's foredeck. Aft of the cabin belongs to the yellow man ; seeing the space he occupies, a stranger would be surprised at the number of our Aryan brothers and the manner in which they dispose themselves and their impedimenta. Ten Celestial souls, at least, journey (without sentiment) in our company — the boy, the cook, and the crew, — and each has his allotted place for work and sleep. In a well-ordered boat the space between cabin and kitchen is generous ; partly because one is thus spared many of the unsavoury harbingers of dinner which arise from the frying-pan, and partly because the boy and cook have no other sleeping- room than that which the "pantry" affords. I know that there exists a theory, widely held, that a native can sleep anj-Avhere, and that to concern oneself for his comfort is foolishness ; many good people quarter their Chinese servants worse than their dogs. No doubt that the Oriental survives bad treatment and that he accepts it, like other sublunary happenings, with stolid patience ; at the same time, there is an old saying about the merciful man which THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN 9 comes to mind when one sees the " boy " sleeping en peiotte in a cupboard five feet by three, while the cook lies uneasily curled between his stove and the water-kong. Humanity apart, these people would better appreciate our excursions and sorties, and render us, therefore, a better, because a more willing, service if their necessities were a matter of more concern to us. Of other matters on which depends our boat's well- being, that of light and ventilation in the cabin is immediate. To get both in plenty, without the thousand natural ills that come of draughts ; to avoid gloom and glare by day ; to prevent on wintry nights those swift alternations of stuffiness and cold, wherefrom spring rheums and vapours, — these are problems to which the complete answer still eludes us. Yet there are certain principles of universal acceptance. Our windows should be wide, and one of them on a level with the bunkhead, so that, without moving from the pillows, the silent message of the kindly stars may reach us as we turn to sleep ; that, waking, we may see the wonder of rosy-fingered dawn come, soft heralded by twittering of birds. As to fresh air, tastes vary ; I have seldom known two men, and never a woman, to hold a reasonable and temperate view of the subject, and I have journeyed pleasantly enough with a German who would have none of it. The question is greatly simplified, however, by firmly abolishing that abominable source of woe, the American coal-stove. 'Tis an invention good enough, no doubt, in its own place, where men make it the rally-point of society, expectorating towards it as to the centre of gravity, but in lo HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA the houseboat it is a fearsome thing, disturbing the even tenour of life. Unlike the Church of Laodicea, your small stove is always red hot or stone cold ; windows and doors in its vicinity must be for ever opened and shut, clothes doffed and donned, to meet its varying humours. Replace it by a movable kerosene stove of the non-odorous kind, and you may sit snugly through the coldest evening with the temperature you desire, and as much fresh air as the stronger vessel may want. I speak not here of the servants' quarters, nor of that unsavoury place wherein the crew sleep, eat, and spend lives which to us seem curiously purposeless and unpleasant ; to these tribes on our frontier I shall refer in another place. For the cabin's equipment, every man in his humour. Certain things there must be, such as good lamps, so fixed that one may read cosily abed ; bunks that invite to sleep ; a bookshelf and some odd nooks and corners for stowage of boots, bottles, and other unsightly things. In boats, as in houses, there is a happy half-way resting-place between Rome and Capua, of which the sign is comfort with simplicity. With a few good pictures we soon become intimate, and fitness may be observed even in the colour of drugget. I have a friend who carries the Spartan mood to extreme limits, whither I follow him with difficulty ; his cabin has the severity of a casual ward, and, like Mrs. Battle, he plays the whole game with rigour. At his frugal dietary I cavil not (though a glass of port on a winter's night is grateful), but I draw the line at his bunks. For he will not THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN II hear of spring mattresses, quotes the Immortal Bard on the blessed state of him who snores upon the flint, and thinks a bed of shavings with alpine bosses and declivities " good enough for any tired man." I mention this case merely to show how the best of customs, if overdone, may corrupt our little world, and to observe that spring mattresses in a house- boat are desirable, if only because you can take them out and wash them ; and where one travels with Asiatics, cheek by jowl, this is a matter not unworthy of consideration. A Ferry. Our good ship is thus set forth in all her parts ; to your realist a thing of timber and tarpaulin, full of jabbering Orientals, but to the eye of faith an Argosy wherein we may sail gladly into worlds unexplored and return not empty- handed. For each one of us, though the poetic fires may be damped and the young man's fancy turned to lumps of lead, life has yet voices that call ever to the Enchanted Isles, hands that guide us to the gate called Beautiful. It is when the day's work is done and our quantum of meals eaten that life begins ; then we have time to realise the 12 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA wonder of our being here at all, and to distinguish some- thing of the vast harmonies which underlie the ear-splitting discords around us. In the glory of the sunset, in the piping of Pan beneath the trees, in the beauty of a woman's face, each of us hears at times these undying voices uni- versal, but for many a man the whole joyous world of imagination may be conjured up by homelier things, by a trout-rod, a bag of golf-sticks, ay, even by the wind shriek- ing in suburban chimneys. For myself, I never see a houseboat lying at her moorings but straightway I sail away in fancy to the happy hunting-grounds. Sailing, — the word reminds me that of recent years there has grown up amongst houseboat Idlers a tendency to dis- card the sail in favour of steam towing. Everywhere, since the days of the Shimonoseki Treaty, native and Japanese companies compete on the main waterways to tow your boat, one of a serpentine train, carrying you a hundred miles while you sleep. For Nimrod the advantage is plain, and to carp at the inevitable advance of our material devices were churlish ; one may sigh for the time when no puffing engines disturbed these peaceful waters, besmearing their lilies and eglantine with soot, but after all, you may sigh with as good cause over every navigable river in England. Of this, then, we need say nothing ; at the temperate use of launches let us not cavil ; but that it should ever lead any man to abolish the sail, wherein lies the essence of house- boat joys, is a melancholy result. Yet I know men who have removed the mast boldly, henceforth towing their poor dismembered hulks dismally from one shooting-ground to THE BOAT AND ITS PIDGIN 13 another. Motor-launches, too, have appeared within our borders, machines which act as tenders, snorting up and down the shallower creeks and relieving the houseboat of all purpose in existence except that of a floating inn. True it is that all the base uses of the lowdah and his crew are directed, naturally enough, towards inducing the foreign devil to rely entirely on steam, and that to overcome these passive resisters requires determination of a high order. True, also, that the largest bags may possibly be made by those who use these latest inventions ; nevertheless, an old- fashioned person may be allowed to hope that the thing will not be overdone, and that the houseboat may continue to move with life upon the face of our inland waters ; for the killing of game, after all, is only one of the objects of our up-country days, and there are higher joys than to make a bag which shall be recorded in the papers. Of all our good store of houseboat memories, none, I think, linger more fragrantly than the moments perdus of sport, those half-hours spent listening to the ripple of waves breaking from under our bows, and the whisper of the wind in the rigging. After a morning on the marshes, to sail among the lagoons or out into the lake, with the sunlight dancing ahead and Black Care a hundred miles behind ; down the long reaches dreamily to watch the banks go by, to the creaking of buffalo wheels and the thousand familiar (yet unknown) sights and sounds of Chinese life afloat and ashore ; or, seeking a quiet anchor- age, to steal down a silent creek at dusk, a white shadow among the grey and brown, where no sound mars the spell *^ 14 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA of coming night — hours like these we would not willingly forgo for any invention of rapid transit. There is, methinks, something in the. Anglo-Saxon, land-lubber and ledger clerk though he be, some fluid in his system diluted from that of his Norsemen and Dane forebears, which unconsciously quickens to the throb of any craft that sails upon the face of the waters ; as the canvas bellies to the wind, and the foam goes rippling astern, he feels a glorious tickling of his spinal cord, a message, echoing faintly down the long corridors of Time from those stout mariners of old, that the joys and fears of their long- forgotten lives are still a very part of his being. THE L «f HIS OWDAH CRE CHAPTER 11 The skilled Milesian man who, with half-open mouth and dreamy eyes, Stood steering Argo to that land of lies. Jason. KNOW a man who has conceived and executed the brilliant idea of putting his houseboat crew into uniform — a rainbow thing of scarlet and blue, with heraldic devices in green across breast and back. His reasons for this are, first, to dis- tinguish his retainers from the aborigines ; secondly, to impress the cities of the plain with the import- ance of the strangers in their midst ; and, thirdly, to conceal from himself that exceeding squalor which marks the houseboat coolie for its own. Arraying these poor waifs in garments suggestive of a pantomime chorus, he is able to contemplate them, he says, without continual heart- searchings on the subject of Destiny and its rugged in- equalities. Vastly creditable, I think, both this spiritual distress and the manner of its alleviation. For the crew of a European's houseboat consists IS 1 1 1 6 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA generally of the pariahs of our floating population. That it should be so is unnecessary ; the fact, like many others of the kind, is due to our distaste for studying the native and his ways — or, to put the matter plainly, to our ignorant laziness. Good and notable exceptions there are — boats that use and keep workmen ; on long trips, even your easy-going man may inspect his wastrels before starting, but of the ordinary week-end trip it is safe to say that half the average crew should be in hospital and the other half in gaol. And this is partly because the lowdah has come to expect that you will travel by steam, and partly because long impunity in fooling and fleecing the foreign devil has made him greatly daring. Which brings us to consideration of the lowdah. In the ancient vernacular his name means " old and great" — no doubt, like another word with us, it was originally "a term of endearment among sailors," an archaic equivalent of ' old cock,' and its actual meaning is helmsman or shipmaster. On a houseboat he is the only permanent official ; in theory, a faithful watcher who keeps the Saucy Jane spick and span ; guards her inner parts from river thieves, rats and vermin, and her hull from dry rot and the poles of passing junks ; sees to her safe mooring, and engages the crew when wanted. In practice he is one of a close corporation of rogues and scoundrels, who for five days in the week riots and gambles (probably in the cabin of the Saucy Jane) with his fellow ruffians on what he has ' squeezed ' from your last trip. The native mafoo ^ 1 Horse-boy. THE LOWDAH AND HIS CREW 17 is something of a villain, but compared to the houseboat lowdah he is a guileless person of good morals. And when you come to think of it, the thing is natural enough, for here, as in all the Seven Seas, the leisured classes are prone to evil, and the innate virtue of a Chinaman is not proof against luxurious idleness ; and the lowdah is idle, exempt even from the master's eye, for 300 days of the year. In such case he must perforce fall from grace ; but the mystery of the thing is that, having fallen and being the reprobate he is, he should retain his pride of place and continue to swell it on the after-deck of any decent boat. No doubt the secret — like that of all native villainy — lies in organisation ; these fellows keep the ring against out- siders, and to get a new lowdah, under these conditions, is simply to draw another card from a very filthy pack. Dismiss your man to-morrow : what happens ^ Brown will take him, because Brown's has left him suddenly — and you get Brown's. There is one truculent ruffian of my acquaintance who has been lowdah on nearly every boat on the river ; he never keeps a place more than a month after the shooting season begins, and is generally thrown over- board up country ; but he finds, like Tristram Shandy, that in the propagation of geese Nature is all-bountiful, and I see no reason why he should not continue successfully in his profession unto the end. A remedy for this state of affairs may possibly lie in engaging young and artless lowdahs from another district under police protection ; but the experiment requires more energy and leisure than most of us can afford. i8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA Seven coolies go to make the ordinary boat's crew which the lowdah professes to engage. . You pay each man forty cents a day (say 8d.). Off this wage the lowdah ' squeezes ' three or four cents as the price of his favour ; next he makes profitable terms for running the ship's mess, and levies a claim on " cumshaws." Eventually he engages a couple of able-bodied men in case of accidents, ships his wife's cousin (suffering from incipient beri-beri) and his own nephew (aetat. 13), the remainder of the crew being usually opium- smoking ricksha men whose vehicles have been impounded by the police. Is it any wonder that, if you insist on travelling twenty miles under ' yuloh,' ^ the elements, mysteriously working, and the stars in the courses combine to forbid it ; that time, tide, head winds, the size of your boat, and the state of the creeks prevent any such under- taking ? Knowledge, as sages have frequently observed, is power. In no country upon earth is this axiom made manifest as in China, where the ' knowing ' man lives in fatness, preying upon those whom Imperial Edicts describe as the *' stupid ones." The lowdah's place in creation and his survival therein aptly illustrate this simple truth. He knows, there- fore he thrives. He knows the European's limitations and the necessities of his fellow-natives, and from both he derives profit suiScient to make him a personage in the tea- house. There is, moreover, as with friend Reineke, a certain artistic merit in the rogue's methods which compels our sneaking admiration ; he has brought his villainies to 1 The long stern sweep. THE LOWDAH AND HIS CREW 19 such a pitch of studied perfection, based his systems on such foundations of laborious knowledge, that at times you are inclined to let him enjoy the fruits of his ingenuity. It is the same feeling that prompts you, when the peregrine swoops deftly on your wounded quail, to let him get away with his quarry. In the gentle art of presenting bills the lowdah ^ is a past master ; give him his head, and the upkeep of your boat will equal that of a suburban villa. There are, of course, the usual and recognised squeezes of his profession ; the annual overhauls — on which he lives riotously for months — the incidentals of each trip, coal, oil, candles, soap, and the unnumbered mops and poles whose mysterious life is but a little day. Every low(^h knows to a nicety, by experience and by that denra.Fely- gauged repute in which each European stands in native opinion, the breaking-point of your endurance ; also he knows that you will pay something, however monstrous the claim, for peace' sake and to be rid of importunity. And so the wind is tempered to the shorn lamb, and many a bleating victim of my acquaintance not only submits to the shearing, but becomes curiously " A personage in the tea-house." 20 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA attached to the shearer. This, too, is not unnatural, for your typical * savez ' lowdah, the man who knows and does his business up country, often displays, rogue though he be, a very wholesome and engaging interest in your sport ; take him away from his accustomed purlieus and the sons of Belial his friends, and you find him decent enough, service- able and keen in the matter of your bag. These pleasing traits in his character are, however, reserved exclusively for his so-called master ; the world sees them not. Let a stranger borrow the boat, and with it he borrows a very pestilent rogue. An intelligent^ observer of Chinese life — unduly neglected by the present generation — pointed out years ago this side of the lowdah's character in an entertaining passage which I may fitly quote : — It is to the outsider, the casual tripper, that our friend reveals the choicest beauties of his nature. Which of us has not sat down over the cabin-stove and cursed the unvi^ritten law which forbids the chastisement of another man's menial ? The lowdah, still sleepy from yesterday's debauch, re\els in this impunitv, which preserves him from the argumentum ad hominem j right well he knows too, that, storm as you may, it is unusual to look the borrowed horse in the mouth, and that on Monday you will pay without demur, for the lender's sake. You start jaih' enough, wondering onh' how the wretched crew of decrepid men and small boys is going to vuloh the boat to your happy hunting-grounds ; but a friendly launch takes you as far as Sungkong, and with this aid it should be easy for them to get you to Kazay before the morning. Therefore, having seen them start work at ten o'clock, you turn in after describing with much ^ Tung: Chia. THE LOWDAH AND HIS CREW 21 detail the spot where you wish to shoot. " My savee," says the lowdah, and you go to bed. At 3 a.m. you awake to find the boat snugly anchored under a mud-bank. Then the fiin begins — at least, it is fun for the lowdah. When you have roused him from his lair (it takes time, and you are half-frozen), he says, "Head wind, head tide, no can yuloh." There is no wind, and no tide to speak of, but that is a mere detail. When you ask where you are, he says, "Velly near Kazay," by which statement the memory of Ananias is put to shame. Then, with the threats and promises, you persuade An ancient Bridge. him to go on, and tor half an hour — until you are asleep again — two small boys propel the boat at the rate of one ' li ' an hour. Eventually, the next morning you find yourself moored in the salubrious vicinity of Fungking, a spot endeared to the lowdah by the presence of a lady friend, but otherwise only remarkable for a total absence of game ; there, while you tramp the highly cultivated mud-fields, he spends a happy day in congenial society. At dusk he returns, ex- plaining that certain supplies of coal and oil were required for the return trip, and these defects he has provided, the bill being pre- sented in proof of good faith. Then you start homewards ; and should your latent wrath be inclined to manifest itself in un- 22 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA pleasantness, you will, if you are wise, refrain therefrom, for our friend is quite capable of running the boat violently into a convenient bridge while you are at dinner ; he knows you will have to make good the damage, and there are pickings in such accidents for him- self. Next morning, at the hour when you should be in a ricksha on the Bund, you find yourself facing the first of the flood at the top of the seven-mile reach. At this stage you tell the lowdah what you think of him in the plainest and worst language. He receives it in silence, his mouth being full of rice at the time ; but when you have done, he confides to the comfortably-resting crew what he thinks of you, and his remarks are the cause of considerable native merriment. There appears to be nothing for it but to walk home, until by a lucky chance a launch looms in sight. The lowdah knew all about that launch before you started — he has a cousin on board — and three out of the five dollars which you pay for the tow are his reward for a carefully-devised stratagem. Much water has flowed under our bridges since then ; many hopeful men have returned, sadder and wiser, from fierce struggling on inland waters with the lowdah tribe, but the latter remains unchanged, fixed in its destinies and smiling at the pitiful struggling of its victims. In this smiling immobility, as in his lust for coin, there is some- thing in the lowdah suggestive of that grim helmsman who waits for us by the banks of Styx. When all's said and done, one rather likes the fellow for his very stolidity, and 'tis undeniable that most of his misdeeds are due to our own foolishness. If only he were a trifle more human in his relations with those pitiful scarecrows, the crew, we might well forgive him his other enormities. And here, until we meet them again anon, we may take leave of these our humble fellow-travellers ; but before we THE LOWDAH AND HIS CREW 23 go, Sir and Madam, let us cast a glance at the place where these atoms of superfluous humanity live aboard our boat. Imagine this after-deck on a day when the rain comes driving sideways before a northerly wind, picture the condi- tion of this black hole wherein seven men bestow them- selves, tant bien que mal^ to sleep. Perhaps on a cold night, as we sit comfortably over our second glass of port, recollection of these things may incline us to tolerance for some of the shortcomings of our Mongolian brother ; and if so, not a soul will be any the worse for it. A.FLOA." » I CHAPTER III "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines." — Song of Solomon. GOOD housewife of my acquaintance — one of those worthy people who make them- selves very uncomfortable in the pursuit of comfort — tells me that she could never bring herself to visit the cook's den on a houseboat. Herein, I think, she is wise ; nor would I recommend to those who hold extreme views on sanitation and hygiene too close a scrutiny of the boys' quarters. At the best of times, and giving him all facilities, there is a wide gulf between the Chinaman's standard of cleanliness and ours. He endorses that scientific definition of dirt which calls it matter in the wrong place, and his philosophy teaches him that, sooner or later, the wanderer will find its way home without the help of man. Each one of us, he knows, must eat his peck o' dirt in a lifetime, and if length of days or inscrutable destiny increase the peck to a bushel, what of it ! If kings 24 THE MENAGE AFLOAT 25 must needs go a progress through the guts of a beggar, if imperial Caesar's dust should stop a bung-hole, the cook knows, without word of the immortal Dane, that this also is but one of Nature's fantastic ways, and that the beggar is none the worse for the vagaries of these poor atoms. Let us admit, strictly between ourselves, that many of us have a sneaking fellow-feeling for the Oriental attitude in this matter. Doctors, of course, cannot indulge it, nor sanitary inspectors, nor good women brought up in the household wisdom of Penelope, but to the plain man these strident voices of Public Health authorities in our kitchens and boudoirs are something too emphatic. They would have us go in fear all our days, bringing the imminent shadow of Death before us in guise of grisly microbe at every street corner, at the tiffin table, ay, even on Clorinda's ruby lips. We hear them, shuddering, and then, harking back to our unguarded but joyous youth; — remembering our salad bachelor days when filters were not, and the cook was a law unto himself, — we take heart of grace and go our un- regenerate ways in cheerfulness. Nevertheless, and as a compromise between conflicting theories, it is not a bad thing to descend suddenly at intervals upon the boy and cook in their lairs, ejecting things unseemly and of purely native origin ; hygiene apart, it is not fitting that our omelette should be cooked with, but after, the lowdah's sea- slugs. Our immediate followers up country on ordinary occasions are three — boy, cook, and dog-coolie, and on long trips, where steady work is before us, it is wise to include in 26 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA the ship's company two sturdy beaters, men of tried prowess in covert. The boy and the cook have between them, for their respective duties, impedimenta and- the disposal of their own persons a cubic area something less than that of a Saratoga trunk. Cast your eye, my Lady, on this kitchen equipment, observe its limitations, the nice adjustment of necessity to space, and you will wonder with me how one small stove can carry all its brew. Dine with us. Madam, and as each course, reussi and fittingly served, emerges from these mysterious regions, pause not to ask how the plates were washed, nor where the baked meats lay before they came to table. If to-day's fillet and to-morrow's trussed fowl came aboard neatly packed iji the cook's wardrobe, why, ignorance is bliss and the saucepan covereth a multi- tude of sins. And so for Ganymede, whose labours, between the kitchen devil and the deep sea of clamorous white men, are compassed about so narrowly with crockery and pendent glass that he looks for all the world like some contortionist juggler at his tricks — pray you, indulgence. Which of us has not wondered beneath the armour of their stolidity what these followers of ours think of our ex- cursions and sorties } To the severely practical mind for which we usually give them credit, the whole business must be a monstrous enigma, one of those mysteries inseparable from foreign devildom, which Confucius bids them neither consider nor discuss. For they must recognise the astounding fact that the cost in sycee of the game we bring home, after long toilful days, is ten times more than THE MENAGE AFLOAT 27 we could buy it for in the market ; even with the best ot luck there can be no profit in shooting with cartridges that cost eight cents apiece, and they know us for men who can afford the luxury of leisure. All the ways of this " White Peril " are indeed inscrutable ; those who recklessly waste money, enduring hard labour up country, are of the same mad world which pursues divers balls with bats and clubs ; rides violently, without errand, across the face of the earth, and postures to the sound of horns with other men's wives. Such beings are classed in the native mind with prodigies, monsters, and the immortal gods, and accepted accordingly, without question or complaint. Despite their res angusta afloat, I believe our followers are rather partial to up-country life in their own way ; Ah Kong the dog-coolie welcomes it, I know, in spite of his aversion to long walks, his wife being a notorious vixen and his home a place of wrath. The boy who answers cheerfully to the name of Gehazi, and Wang-hi the cook, enjoy their peaceful days on board, especially when our programme includes cold tiffin in a basket. ' Enjoys ' is perhaps too strong ; their attitude is one of philosophic calm, due to the fact that for a while they can eat, sleep, and gamble undisturbed. In none of them have I ever perceived any signs of interest in the country itself or its inhabitants ; whether we go to the lakes or to the hills appears to be a matter of absolute indifference, and the only spots for which they ever display preference are those where they can buy salt or other commodities, which, smuggled to Shanghai, will show a profit. Gehazi will sit in his pantry reading an 28 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA absurd chronicle of the Han Dynasty, while the boat takes him, all unconscious, through unknown places where men live by strange crafts ; to him they are such stuff as dreams are made of, and he can provide better dreams of his own. This, at least, is the impression the native's nonchalant stolidity conveys, but who shall say what are the thoughts that lurk behind these wall-faces ? Now and again they will surprise you, these Chinese, with glimpses of unsuspected thoughts and motives in their mental depths unfathomed by us who live amongst them. Strange breaths of spring stir at times the dusty recesses of their emotionless souls ; voices call to them from the past through opium haze and cult of cash, and for a moment their com- monplace lives are touched with a ray of the light which, ages ago, sent Chinese artists and poets to teach Corea and Japan. In some squalid courtyard you will find ragged fellows listening in long silence to a caged thrush's song ; sometimes, on the sorriest beggar-boat on the creek, or in the tea-house of a dingy by-street, you shall see a sprig of flowering plum-blossom ; on the walls of country rest-houses I have found not only verses from the classics, but the original work of passers-by — student or pilgrim — THE MENAGE AFLOAT 29 singing of autumn winds in the bamboo grove and the flight of wild geese between the hills. I am by no means sure that Gehazi himself does not invoke the lyric muse with compositions of this kind in spring, for I have seen verses at the end of the book in which he keeps a record of what he is pleased to say I owe him. Ah Kong, master of the hounds, and his fellow-beaters arrayed for the chase, suffer *' Shame-face " in the eyes of the crew ; and not without reason, for they are indeed figures of fun. Their own kit being useless in covert, I provide them with boots (originally made for Indian policemen), wide trousers of sail-cloth cut in the fashion of clowns', and old hats. Ah Kong, being an enthusiast, sports a grey Monte Carlo and a pair of ancient kid gloves ; good fellows these, of Spartan philosophy and wondrous patience, who will beat their way through scrub and sword-grass for days, and take a friendly interest in your bag. One ragged suit of clothes to their backs, no certainty as to next week's rice, yet they face the world and its back-bending affairs cheerily with hearts undismayed. I like to hear them when, after their long tramp, they have hung the game, seen to the dogs, and foregathered round the lowdah's rice-pot with the crew ; the day, with all its chances and events, will keep them talking for hours. In their tales the beater often cuts a more heroic figure than his master, if only because it is denied to him to relieve him- self by cursing audibly the adverse Fates. They sum us up, these heathen, all our little weaknesses and some of our virtues, in racy opinions, as just, and quite as CL S . ;-: A . ^ » ■ " ~ — '■ ■" THE ;.fe... ....5.^ LORD • OF- f|fiiN|-THE-SOID CHAPTER VII «' Along the cool sequester'd vale of life They kept the noiseless tenour of their way." Gray. RMA virumque, of the Man I sing ; not in his relation to humanity at large, nor as a specimen for the sociologist, but simply as I have seen and known him since first I wandered, gun in hand, through his well- tilled fields and marvelled at the infinite patience and industry of his race. No doubt that, like the rest of us, the Celestial offers wide scope for religious, philosophical, and psychological speculation ; he is undoubtedly a complex monster (even as you and I), ever capable of surprising those who flatter themselves they know him well, by some swift variation from the accepted type, some unsuspected mood or outburst of unfathomed devilry ; and all this without more obvious cause than, shall we say, pretty Fanny's April tears. Complex and mysterious he is, being human (and it is a farther cry from Peking to 68 THE LORD OF THE SOIL 69 Canton than from London to Berlin), but he gains nothing in simplicity when we consider him from the half-dozen standpoints, and apply to his dissected anatomy the latest panaceas, of all the political, medical, biblical, and whimsical persons who are good enough to interest themselves in his present behaviour and future salvation. If one may judge by the amount of attention he has recently received, and by all the wind-puffed nonsense written about and around him, our poor friend's character should by this time be satisfactorily disposed of and put away amongst the half- digested crudities which make up our so-called public opinion. It is possible that in diplomatic circles there may still be an open (even if occasionally empty) mind on the subject, and the political problems emanating from the Celestial Body will continue to serve (that those may write who run) for the transient tickling of amateur statesmen ; but for the rest, the thing has been overdone, and the Chinese race, one-third of the world's bustling ant-heap, has been neatly labelled under suitable, moral, and descriptive headings, its manners and morals tabulated, and the once- doubtful specimen occupies its definite place in the museum of humanity. The man in the street and his board-school offspring are well posted on the subject ; Primrose Leaguers, Passive Resisters, and Seventh Day Baptists have all learned precisely from their particular and divergent oracles what manner of perilous yellow man looms yonder, what are the habits of his heathendom and the uses to which he may aspire in the cosmos, as seen from Shepherd's Bush. To add yet another voice to the Babel were waste of breath ; 70 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA why disturb the complacency of that wisdom which explains the Boxer movement as blithely as the impending doom of Confucian scholarship ? These things have been revealed by scores of peripatetic observers, sohitur amhulando ; knowledge, swiftly acquired, has been as quickly assimilated, through the medium of Titbits^ by minds whose earlier impressions were limited to hazy visions of tea-chests, pig- tails, and bird's-nest soup. Yes, the thing has been done — overdone — and to tell the truth, I marvel at the hardihood of those last gleaners in our Celestial stubbles, those dogged forlorn souls who solemnly continue to describe China and the Chinese. Remembering all the tomes which burdened our shelves even before the days of travelling M.P.'s, one wonders, as the stream of books rolls on, what and where are the people who buy them 1 But that, after all, is not my business ; and since the patient blue-clad object of all this pother re- mains in happy ignorance of the sudden stir he is making, since it will never be his lot to read these descriptions of himself, nor to decide between the opinions of the " two- and-seventy jarring sects," why should we trouble our- selves about it ? I will only reassure you, good reader, that from me you get little or nothing of useful information ; this book, at least, can serve neither politician nor trade dis- sector : not a line in it for all their dreary purposes. Surely the world has had enough of these well-meaning but de- luded folks ; let us have no more books about this people except those of a light and whimsical humour, calculated to leaven the lump of stodginess. THE LORD OF THE SOIL 71 If now I write of the Lord of the Soil it is from the sportsman's point of view and within the little region of our wanderings. Even within these limits there is room for surprises and much revising of dogmatic opinions, for the native of East Chekiang is farther in tongue and temper from him of North Kiangsu than Glasgow is from Cork. And yet, how little do we know of him, here or there, after twenty years of rambles through his land .'' What is he more to us, this silent toiler of ancestral fields, than a dim shadow moving in a land of things unfamiliar, elusive, and remote ? We speak with him, and he tells us, in hoary idioms, whose origins stretch back to the days before Nineveh and Babylon, of obvious surface things, of the immediate side of his material existence, of the price of food, rice, of the feeding-grounds of game, of wind and weather ; but what do we know of the real man, of his inner life, his thoughts ? And if we knew, would we understand ^ To appreciate his attitude towards gods and men, his mysterious beliefs, the origin and motives of any one of the thousand enigmatical things we see him doing, we must divest ourselves of the traditions of Aryan experi- ence, and reconstruct our ideas on foundations older than the Homeric period. I have not time for these flights myself, even if imagination sufficed ; I continue, therefore, to regard my agricultural friend as a gentle, half-simple sort of elder brother, a primordial stay-at-home, unable to sym- pathise with this nomad modernity of ours, disliking many of our noisy new-fangled ways, but tolerant and kindly withal, forcing no issues, desiring no church militant here on earth. 72 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA Who can see the green earth any more As she was by the sources of Time ? Who imagines her fields as they lay In the sunshine, unworn by the plough ? Who thinks as they thought, The tribes who then roamed on her breast, Her vigorous primitive sons ? Imagination stands aghast at the mental and ethical equipment of this cobwebbed civiHsation ; yet I love to sit on the sunny side of a hill, looking down on the tender green of the rice-bearing valleys, to dream of the forgotten centuries, the uncounted generations that have passed, leaving the patient toiler of this land as they found him, adding little to the knowledge and the needs that were his before our mushroom Empires were dreamt of. Here, if anywhere on earth, is ancientry of pedigree, a landed gentry whose tutelary ghosts hovered about these pine- shaded tombs in the beginnings of recorded time and determined their ancestral fengshul for ever. Here, before all the storm and stress of our conflicting creeds, ere the first Roman set foot in Britain, these fields had been tilled by men like him over yonder, men who dreamed of no world beyond their Middle Kingdom, and asked nothing better of life than to be able to live it after the manner of their fore- fathers. I like to think of them peacefully weaving and dyeing their celestial cloth, learning to read their musty books, obeying their mothers-in-law, and rearing countless saffron broods down long vistas of uncounted years what time Europe still lay wallowing in primitive savagery. Coming nearer to our own days I like to think of all the THE LORD OF THE SOIL 73 myriad lives that have " dwelt their appointed hour and gone their way " in the sheltering peace of the East's simple philosophy, undisturbed by all our earth-shaking progress ; red men and black and brown have struggled and gone under since first the white entered upon his "civilising" mission ; in the word of old Montaigne, " the richest, the fairest, and the best part of the world, topsiturvied, ruined, and defaced for the traffick of Pearles and Pepper ; oh mechanicall victories, oh base conquest " ; but the yellow confronts his audacities calmly as of old, resisting pressure with ideas and beliefs that are stronger than all the panoply of science. And, judging by recent history, and the present position of affairs, these dogged Celestials are likely to continue yet awhile in their established ways, to plant and reap, to breed and die, oblivious of all our clamour at their gates. All our fleets and armies, our religions and huckster- ing activities, affect this people as much, or as little, as my afternoon stroll on their quiet hillsides ; they look on us and all our works as apparitions permitted to emerge in the fulness of time from the shadowy overseas lands, those lands which they know are tributary, even if troublesome, to the Son of Heaven. And so long as we disturb not their ancient ways they are ready to accept us placidly as unexplained phenomena, " unaccountable, uncomfortable works of God," extending to us that gentle courtesy which is part of the surface morality of Orientals. I, for one, am quite ready to accept their hospitality on these terms. One of the results of that gentle courtesy and of the 74 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA East's wise conception of man's place and business in the universe is that for them the earth is free and common to all men to go their ways in peace. From one end of China to another, if you will but respect the growing crops and " On the ^way to market.^' the privacy of men's homes, there is none who will question your right to wander at large by land or water. No fences here nor barred gates ; no man-traps, gins, or spring-guns to protect the sacred rights of landed property. The Asiatic claims in the soil only the fruits of his labour and the burial THE LORD OF THE SOIL 75 of his dead ; for the rest, is not the Earth the common mother of all ? He knows no laws of trespass ; he claims and gives a general right of way, and asserts no rights of ownership in the beasts of the field or the fowls of the air within his borders. We, the heirs of centuries of feudalism, take this, like many other of their ways, for granted, often despising while we enjoy their democratic equality and simple communism ; but as it is in these green-fledged valleys, so it was in the golden age when the world was young and Pan still piped in the thicket, when there was room to spare for every man and his adventures. No doubt that the teachings of Gautama the Merciful have much to do with the abundance of birds and beasts in this closely-cultivated land, and with our opportunities of shooting and eating them. Customs and local option vary so greatly in China, we so frequently see yesterday's conclusions upset by to-day's experience, that to generalise is the business of the unwary. I claim no fixed ideas as to the consensus of public opinion amongst natives in regard to this matter of sport ; very possibly there is none. In these central provinces the ideas of a certain utilitarian class (happily for us it is as yet a small one) have gradually been affected by the knowledge that pheasants and other game command steadily- increasing prices in the Treaty port markets ; with these the gentle teachings of Buddha and the duty of kindness to all living things have gone down before the hard fact that a basketful of partridges or quail trapped without violation of the first Law are worth more in cash than many days' labour. It is not in Western lands 76 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA only that economic pressure affects a man's interpretation of his religious beliefs. Around Shanghai especially, and up the Yangtsze in districts where the great mail lines vie with each other in bidding for enormous consignments of game for cold storage, a race of expert trappers has sprung up ; these have devastated our happy hunting-grounds for the benefit of floating hotel passengers, and but for the vastly creditable energy of Commissioner Rocher and Customs vigilance the pheasant would have come near to extermina- tion all along the river. Given a close season, the game supply should suffice for our local markets, and within these limits the pheasant trapper's existence is justified by our housewives' needs ; but there are other clouds on our horizon, much larger than a man's hand, that fill me with nervous apprehension. I frankly dislike, for instance, the growing tendency of Young China, taught by Japanese soshii, to assert their vigorous independence of mind by the adoption of our Western menus and manners. Persicos odi : I hate their semi-European restaurants, places where the deportment of the clientele equals in villainy the cuisine and the convert^ and I view with positive horror, in the streets of Soochow and Hangchow, the festoons of pheasants and wild fowl, cheek by jowl with the heche-de-mer and varnished pig that tempt the native gourmet. Herein is augury of evil days to come, as in the growing efficiency of the native trapper, enlarging his craft and the field of his operations to meet these new demands. A few years ago the bamboo partridge escaped his attentions ; now he has learned its habits, watches the birds taking cover at sun- THE LORD OF THE SOIL 77 down, and bags half-a-covey in a hand-net, bringing them to market alive like his quails. Since he allows me to shoot on his land I can hardly take serious exception to his proceedings ; they strike me, nevertheless, as a deplorable lapse from the high ideals of the East, brought about, like all such lapses, by too close contact with our iconoclastic civilisation. For if Buddha proclaimed the sanctity of life in every form, did not that most philosophical of sportsmen, Confucius, modify the law by prohibiting " the use of snares, or the making of pitfalls in catching game " ? I profess a general inability to determine in any given case whether the controlling impulses that underlie these people's lives originate in Buddhistic or Confucian tra- ditions ; most probably, as in Japan, the two teachings have fused. But our native friend is on the horns of a dilemma in either case ; he can only escape the eight hot hells hereafter, and reincarnation in vermin form, by abandoning the Sages altogether. The Major, with that cheery and swift analysis of other nations' souls so characteristic of the British soldier, remarks that " the blighter does not think about it at all ; if he can make a dollar, that's good enough for him or any other Chinaman. Religion .'' Rats ! Money talks." It would be futile for me to suggest to him that this race, like our Indian brothers, would gladly give us all its available wealth for a pledge in perpetuity that we would go our ways and leave them in peace — to be relieved of the burden of our presence, of our restlessness, all our intolerable and endless talk of morality and mining rights, of peace and progress and quick-firing guns ; if we would 78 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA just drop the white man's burden, and go away and leave them to enjoy their own kind of peace. The Major would describe that as sheer flapdoodle. We were talking, however, of Chinese sportsmen. In certain districts the native gunner is in evidence and increasing ; particularly around the great cities you find him of the modern type, sporting a muzzle-loader, some rudimentary English, and a half-trained wonk. There is a tentative andk bashful swagger about this fellow, a clumsy attempt to give and take something of the freemasonry of sport, that rather appeals to one in spite of the competition which his genesis forebodes. I have even known cases in which the sporting instinct has triumphed utterly over all the voices of the ancient East, producing humorous but somewhat melancholy results. I once went up river at Newchwang with a gentleman whose pigtail stretched its dark length on a tweed Norfolk jacket, who boasted a pair of Purdeys and a fine assortment of English smoking- room stories, pipe-stem legs in leather gaiters, and a remarkable knowledge of international law ; but he had to travel in a boat by himself because he fille\i the cabin with opium a dozen times a day. But his was a rare case. As a general rule the Chinese sport is a strict utilitarian ; he shoots for the pot, or rather for his pocket, is an adept at stalking, and has no silly prejudices about letting a bird fly if he can get him sitting. His powder is of native origin (generally leakage from the nearest arsenal), and his shot is a mixed lot of old iron ; yet he contrives to make a very decent bag at times, for he knows all about the THE LORD OF THE SOIL 79 movement and habits of birds, their flighting- and feeding- grounds. Occasionally one meets with an older and more interesting type of native chasseur, one whose forefathers hunted before him, who asks no new-fangled devices. His weapons are archaic, his manners generally unconciliatory, and his livelihood a doubtful quantity ; but he is grateful to the eye, picturesque in all his equipment, a wandering survival of former days. This type is varied and widely scattered, cropping up in unexpected places, often unable to account for itself ; so that one can only guess at the causes, outside the general celestial economy, which produce it. Why, for instance, should the hunting of hares be a solemn public business, officially recognised, in Shantung, while in other provinces puss goes unmolested ? Why should duck-shooting with a gun of the Plantagenet period (fired with a slow match) be the hereditary pastime of certain clans in Chihli and Anhui } Since when have they taken life, and provided food for Oriental dissenters ? Who knows what occult laws regulate the Chinese dinner-table, why pig and duck and fish are more lawful food than oxen and geese and sheep ? Why should the quail be a table bird for the literati of Hangchow and a fighting bird only for the men of Canton ^ The native hunter does not explain these things. But the Lord of the Soil, as a rule, concerns himself little enough with sport of any kind. In bygone days, when first the foreign devil was permitted by the All-wise to disturb the peace of the Flowery Kingdom, his presence attracted the curious wonder of the villages ; his dogs, 8o HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA his guns, his strange garments and bold women would bring men from the fields to stand in silent, awe-stricken crowds around his houseboat. Now the monster's novelty has worn itself out, his many inventions have been explained by priests and elders versed in demonology ; he is accepted as part of the established, though mys- terious, order of things, so that the wood- cutter on the hillside scarcely raises his head as we go by, and the women no longer run from us in terror. Only in the village children human curiosity survives ; for these quaint little bundles of fatalism we are still a raree-show. Our coming is an event, a welcome change from the sober joys of buffalo-rides and the terrors of the trimetrical classic, and they follow us, trailing out like a long blue string along the narrow paths that lead from one hamlet to another. Merry little imps, as a rule, who will show you the way round a creek or carry your bird, shouting the while unspeakable names at their retinue of yapping curs. They take a keen interest in sport, cheerfully getting in the line of fire if they can, anxious above all to retrieve the empty cartridge that makes so melodious a whisde. In covert their company is undesirable (though they never recognise the fact) and trying to the temper ; but, mes amis^ imagine what would be the following of Chinese sportsmen in the wilds of Galway .'' "A daughter of the soil." THE LORD OF THE SOIL 8i One cannot see a Chinese village and its inevitable pullulating horde of children without realising the vital problem of the East, a problem so immediate and tremendous that it dominates the mind like an evil dream. " lis poussent comme des punaises," said the good Abbe Hue years ago of this race, in which every human instinct is subordinate to that of replenishing the grievously-burdened earth — the whole life-force of the people spending itself in a blind frenzy of reproduction. The picture is the same from one end of the country to the other : cities and villages innumerable taking their toll of the land ; hamlets huddling ever closer in the valleys, where every field already supports more lives than would be possible in any other country except India ; a third of humanity struggling hopelessly and unceasingly to procreate and maintain its swarm of predestined hungry ones. And for these there is no oudet ; the untilled lands beyond the seas will have none of them ; here they must live somehow or die. In its blind lust for posterity the race has acquired fixed mental and bodily habits of thrift and frugality unknown in the white man's fiercest struggle for life : " scorning delights, they live laborious days," and to spectators like ourselves all the vast energies of the East seem to be concentrated on this pitiful business of bringing into the world beings for whom there is little room and no food. And this is a matter which, for obvious reasons, our missionaries leave untouched ; neither the superior wisdom of our philosophies nor any of our comfortable creeds profess to deal with this the crucial problem of the East's 82 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA infirmities ; and so the inexorable Law works out its own pitiless solution, and they go down, these superfluous lives, by millions to fatten the tired earth which could not fatten them. The whole sorry tragedy goes on before our eyes : infanticide, rebellions, and disease, swift-slaying famine or slow starvation ; Nature ruthlessly applies these her remedies while our Consuls prate solemnly of administrative reform, and earnest Christians struggle pathetically with their foundling homes and hospitals to prevent the inevitable. What are all the shrill miseries of our submerged tenths compared to the inarticulate sorrows of this people in which hopeless patience has ceased to be a virtue and become a national habit of mind ? The little section of humanity that reads its Wells and listens to its Bernard Shaw is mightily moved at the results of economic errors and over- crowding in our litde corner of the globe, but I cannot help wondering what would become of our best humanitarians if they had to apply their panaceas — the standard of comfort, for instance, and the minimum wage — to the Chinese problem .'' And I wonder, too, what would happen to all our European civilisation, its labour-saving machines and little Bethels, if there should ever arise a Mahommed to lead these starving millions westward in search of food and glory ? Could anything short of Ocean's boundaries stop their march ? I never pass a village school-house and hear these little Confucianists howling themselves into the classical condition of mental paralysis without a feeling of gratitude for the system which has petrified the race's imagination, and wonder at the purblind folly of those THE LORD OF THE SOIL 83 who long to instruct the Chinese in earth hunger and the science of modern warfare. Happily, they have no desire to learn it. Meanwhile, pending the coming of Malthus or Mahommed and the infusion of vivifying ideals into the "wholesale man-making" of Cathay, the Lord of the Soil bends his patient back to the task that is never done, asking no questions of Destiny. Grateful to his ancestors for existence (however unpleasant) as a transient phenomenon, and hoping to acquire merit for the next turn of the wheel, he labours to leave behind him as many little phenomena as possible before his going hence shall take from his scanty fields the space of one more grass-grown mound. If I were a missionary, that is to say, could I soberly persuade myself that any of these transitory phenomena might be led to consider seriously the arm-wavings and gibberings of such shadowy forms as they know us to be, I would preach to them the virtue and beauty of cremation. If Mrs. Archibald Little can set forth hopefully, and get Viceroys to subscribe for, the abolition of lily-feet, might not something possibly be done, if only as a temporary alleviation, by reclaiming for cultivation the vast area of land now covered with tombs, memorial groves, tumuli, and matted coffins ^ Painstaking statisticians estimate the pro- portion of the soil thus devoted to pious misuses at about a seventh of the whole ; might not these people, if approached by organised eloquence, understand a reform that would give them fifteen per cent more rice ? I doubt it myself, just as I doubt the ultimate wisdom of increasing CUSTOlViS LIBRARY 84 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA the population of any crowded land ; but I suggest the idea, as containing germs of practical benevolence, to any preacher who may have come to doubt the native's capacity and desire to absorb sectarian dogma and the Athanasian creed. But I would not leave our friend, the Lord of the Soil, under any imputation of melancholy. If to us his lot, and that of his too numerous progeny, seem hard, it is probably because our feather-bed humanitarians have a tendency to promiscuous pity for all sorts and conditions of men, and from them we have learned the trick of uninvited sympathy for all those who have not known the joys of our poor-law system, our commercialism, and our sex-problems. To do him justice, the Celestial asks for none of our pity. Despite . the ever-present spectre of hunger — because perhaps of the very lessons it teaches him — there is in him little of the sorrowful countenance and nothing at all of the intolerable ennui wherewith the heirs of all the ages have purchased knowledge. It is a cheery soul, hon enfant^ even where an unconscious race antipathy makes him wary ; possessed, moreover, of a kindly and gentle humour racy of the soil and wise with all the ghostly wisdom of his past. This . humorous quality of the man is that which brings him nearest to our sympathies ; no doubt it is also that which enables him to accept life with such bonhomie and good grace. No collar -grinning yokel humour his, but the precious faculty of seeing the incongruous in life and in him- self, of hearing the Lohan's laugh amidst all the growlings of the Thunder-god. Few Chinese peasants are so cross-grained that they will not spare the time to crack a joke at your THE LORD OF THE SOIL 85 expense or their own : in the village elders and story-tellers you will often find the qualities of Scheherazade and Sancho Panza combining to produce a very pretty wit and nimble- ness of repartee. And, withal, these people have certain things that we, with all our superiority, may well envy, — the faculty of contented industry, of finding joy in simple household things. Let us not too greatly pity them : I doubt if my boat-coolie, sunning himself after a meal of fish and rice, and telling his pals a story bluer than the deepest azure of the Arabian Nights, would change with John D. Rockefeller. If he did, John might be a happier man. In the grey shadows of false dawn, as I stand at the boat's bows and watch the last stars faint and die, I hear the farmers making for their fields, laughing as they go, by twos and threes, and singing (in that quaint falsetto which Europe outgrew in the Middle Ages) their bucolic joys and legendary amours. Singing they go, to their back-breaking labour, to toil as monotonous as the buffalo's eternal penance at the water-wheel ; yet all day long, by field and forest and hill, in sunshine and storm, we catch the echo of laughter and song. And again, as we fare homewards at dusk, as the mist rises ghostly from the river, and all the life of the village gathers and nestles in the wide-spreading shelter of its memorial trees, with what cheerful bustle and murmur of life they take the day's reward — the evening rice, the old wives' tales, the tapping of frequent pipes, voices of children in the temple courtyard, cries of the wild-fowl overhead, languor and thrill of weary resting limbs, glamour 86 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA and peace of the dying day. And then, like fireflies lost in the bamboo-groves, the tiny lights go out, and sleep, " care- charmer Sleep, Son of the sable Night," takes them all under his dark wings and bears them to the dream-strewn shores of the Enchanted Isles. Brothers, sleep well ! THE-ETHICJ-fll' ^"''^'^^'^ISot'itoae ii^ CHAPTER VIII " He who hath no jouisance but in enjoying ; who shoots not but to hit the mark ; who loves not hunting but for the prey ; — it belongs not to him to intermeddle with our schoole." — Montaigne. " Fortunatus et ille, deos qui novit agrestes." — Georgics. '^"/'"^^HE Saucy Jane lay moored to a high bank, under the mulberries, near Haiyee. It had been an ideal day, bright with the " nipping eager air " that sends the blood dancing through the dullest veins like wine. There had been a sending of woodcock in the morning, fair sport in the copses, and the bag had been pleasantly rounded off with teal, mallard, and snipe from the ponds of the deserted city. But the Major's mind had not yielded to all the soft influences of contentment. His shooting had been a bit off, and Wilden had undoubtedly wiped his eye ; also I had observed a difference of opinion between him and Ponto early in the day as to the fitting limit of a spaniel's range ; but these are not matters that usually disturb his equal mind. That he was in love, I knew ; but with him that 87 88 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA blissful state, varying only in its objects, nearly approaches the chronic, and, being an Irishman, its effect is a " lively and blithe agitation " rather pleasing and advantageous to his friends. Nevertheless, there was evidently a fly some- where in the amber of his philosophy. He had taken his tub in meditative silence ; not a note of the accustomed " Toreador " had come from those usually melodious ablutions, and now he was lying on his back, thoughtfully counting the flies on the ceiling, impervious to the soft seductions of the hour, not to be charmed by comfort of tobacco nor any of the soothing household sights and sounds that mark the close of our houseboat day. Not a word had he spoken for half an hour : truly, a most unfathomable mood. But it is the unwritten law of the houseboat that we accept and respect each other's varying humours — wherein lies the secret talisman of good fellowship. Let questions and explanations plague our work-a-day world ; at least when we travel afield we can put them behind us. So, leaving the Major to exorcise the spirit of melancholy, I made my way on deck to smoke the pipe (ay, Calverley, the sweetest) of closing day. Ye gods, how good a thing it is to be alive and hear the whisper of the evening breeze in the reeds, to see the moonlight steal ghostly through the deep shadows of the camphor trees ! How sweet and clean the air, fresh blown from the sea ; how restfully one's tired limbs stretch themselves, and revel in the balm of laziness ! Sitting on the ice-box, the thought of dinner looming pleasantly on the mental horizon, at peace with all the THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 89 world, I was in the mood to indite an ode in praise of Idleness, but for the protest of an inner voice which declared all such effort to be sinful. It was at this point that, by a sort of reflex action of the mind, I remembered that the Major had been reading poetry. I sat and ruminated in the gathering dark. On the bank the dog-coolies were performing the kennel's evening toilet, washing feet and extracting grass-seeds, while they recounted the day's exploits to the cook's " larn-pidgin," busy cleaning and hanging the game. From astern came the clicking of chop-sticks and a confused undertone of grunts and labial noises that indicated the gathering of coolies round the rice-pot ; above their heads a coil of blue smoke drifting on the breeze, with savour of frying fish, proclaimed the first activities of Gehazi and the cook. All was well ordered, regular, and quiet, the domestic economy of the Saucy Jane working, as usual, without jolt or creak of its machinery. Truly, the world was a good place. Suddenly, from close at hand, where the Heart's Desire lay moored, came the voice of Wilden, strident and cheerful, shattering the soft nocturne ; proclaiming first, in song, the complaisance of the cosy-corner girl, and there- after, a prosaic desire for cocktails, bridge, and the pleasure of our society. A convivial soul is Wilden, free from sentiment and introspection ; gregarious, of Rabelaisian temperament ; a blithe pilgrim to whom life sings, in no uncertain tones, the virtues of good cheer and boon companions. I often wonder at the freakishness of those imps of perversity that have led him to consort habitually 90 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN C^INA with Thurlsby, for the K.C. is a studious and scholarly man (with lucid intervals of gaiety) who reads the Economist^ and can, if provoked, quote Swinburne and Arnold by the hour. He, I think, takes Wilden as a corrective for the sobering tendencies of advancing age. Be that as it may, they manage to strike between them a golden mean of tolerant common-sense, and the intellectual activities of the boat have a pleasant and invigorating range between the Pink 'Un and the Elizabethan poets. I know few places where the sack is so nicely proportioned to the bread as in the cabin of the Heart's Desire. LucuUus, after much experience, limited his dinner guests to six ; had he owned a houseboat there would have been two less. I have never quite made up my own mind whether a tete-a-tete or a partie carree is the better arrange- ment, but I do know that outside of these lies vexation of spirit. Our humours are variable ; what pleases us to-day may not attract to-morrow, but my inclination on long trips is to travel with another boat : for our week-end forays the Saucy Jane asks no company. For these are easeful and gentle excursions with which the Major and I clear the cobwebs from our bodies and souls : companionable books, perhaps a hand of picquet, " a little talk of Thee and Me " ; these suffice us. But on our further journeys, when the long daily trudge ends fittingly in convivial evenings, we are the better for the company of another boat. The best of friends may see too much of each other ; there are human vapours which only " variety dissolveth and shifting dissipateth " on these occasions. We shoot in pairs, each THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 91 taking one bank of the river, and there is a pleasing rivalry between the boats which adds flavour to the sport. In the evening, over our glass of port, the day's chances are discussed, old tales retold, and the morrow's route planned. " No viands are so sweetly pleasing," says the wise Lord of Montaigne, " no sauce so tasteful, as that which is drawn from conversable and mutual society, which company a man must seek with discretion and with great heed obtain before he wanders from home. With me no pleasure is fully delightsome without communication. I do not so much as apprehend one rare concept, or conceive one excellent good thought in my mind, but methinks I am much grieved to have produced the same alone, and that I have no sympathising companion to impart it unto." Most human and honest of philosophers, how well he perceived the essence and ethics of reasonable travel ! Well, the gods be thanked, I have found " honest men, of manners conform- able, to accompany me with a good will." But Wilden was shouting for cocktails and bridge. A window rattled, and the Major's head emerged below me in the gloom. " Shut up, you noisy devil," he said. " Play picquet with the K.C. if you can't read. I'm tired — besides, I've got some work to do. Bridge after dinner if you like." Wilden whistled after the manner of men incredulous. " Love-letters should be written before breakfast," he proclaimed to the night, " songs before sunrise, old chap 1 Come over here, and Thurlsby will do it for you cheap." 92 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA The Major's window rattled again as a shaft of yellow light died on the ripples. Wilden whistled (something less joyfully) and disappeared. Exempt from the law of the ninety -and -nine, in partibus infidelium, the Major professes to teach certain large-goggled Chinese students and others who bear the mark of Young China on their wide-spreading locks the whole art of war. Thereby he earns his living, but within the memory of man he has never been known to work after 5 p.m. Therefore curiosity began to tickle me ; I went below and ordered vermouth cocktails for two. The Major was still lying on his bunk chewing a pencil, but old Rex had snuggled up beside him, and although the warrior's brow was creased with expanse of thought, his expression was that of a man in kindly, confidential mood. And I noticed a sheet of foolscap covered with something that looked suspiciously like verses. Gehazi brought the drinks and some savoury morsels that he concocts cunningly with redfish from the Straits. The cabin was bright and cosy enough to cheer the heart of any melancholy Jacques. " Here's luck, Jim," I said. " What's your work ? Didn't know you went in for overtime ? " The Major looked pensive. Cherchez la femme was writ plain on his expressive features. " Well, you needn't give it away, old chap. I don't want those fellows to rot about it, but the fact is, I've been trying to write some verses. You know it isn't exactly in my line . . . and, you see." He took a sip at the vermouth, THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 93 and his manner was artistically insouciant ; it was evidently my turn to say something. " Yes, women are keen on that sort of thing ; but I didn't know . . ." " No more did I. But there's a fellow — you know that conceited ass Staynes ? And Miss Talbot seems to think an awful lot of the silly stuff he writes for her. You see, she rather went for me for coming away on this trip — missing two dances, of course, and all that. So I thought I'd like to see if I couldn't write something to take the shine out of that duffer. Something to send with a brace of birds as a peace-offering." " Ever done any before, Jim ? What's the sub- ject.?" "Well, first I thought I'd go in for the usual thing — treacly stuff about eyebrows and rosebud lips. I've done my share of that, you know." (I didn't.) "But she must be pretty well fed up on that sort of diet, so I'm making it a sonnet : something in the grand manner, I mean ; some- thing that will suggest the poetic charm of wandering in the wilderness with the idea of the perfect woman for company." Here Jim stuck, stroking Rex's head in a sheepish way. I hastened to express sympathetic approval. " But it's not as easy as it looks," he went on. " I'm all right at a rhyme, but sonnets are the devil. Kipling isn't much use as a guide for that kind of thing." I took Rossetti down from his shelf. " You'll find something in there," I said. " What you want to express, I suppose, is that the man with the wandering temperament 94 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA is best qualified to appreciate the charms of the fairest of her sex ? " " That's it. That's the idea, exactly." " And while a soulless person might suppose you to be walking the Philistine's way, killing birds, playing bridge, and forgetting the existence of the ever-present deity, the eye of faith is to see you worshipping her at the high altars of Nature. The wild calls you, in fact, and you go, but she is of the company, and all the voices of the high places tell her name. Listen to this : it seems to me the very thing for you : — Her's are the eyes which, over and beneath. The sky and sea bend on thee, — which can draw, By sea or sky or woman, to one law, The allotted bondman of her palm and wreath. This is that Lady Beauty in whose praise Thy voice and hand-shake still long known to thee By flying hair and fluttering hem, — the beat Following her daily of thy heart and feet, How passionately and irretrievably, In what fond flight, how many ways and days ! " " Yes," said Jim, " that's good. I'd like to do some- thing in that line." " I'll lend you a hand, Jim, if you like " (for I know how restless, peevish, and unsociable a spirit is the Daemon that seeks expression in verse, and I wanted him expelled before dinner) ; " and if Roxane. . . ." "Her name is Betty." " And yours isn't Christian. Well, go ahead, and good luck to you." THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 95 For half an hour, silence, while the air was filled with the soft quivering of the Muses' wings. Their subtle influences must have discovered old Rex beyond the portals of sleep, for he whined fitfully, with twitching limbs. As for me, I was away with Drake, sinking galleons and plundering cities of the South Seas, to the glory of the Virgin Queen and my own complete satisfaction, when Jim put his labours from him with the contented sigh of the artist satisfied. " That's all right," he said, secreting the paper carefully in the pocket-book where he keeps his bridge-chits. 1 respected the reticence which kept his gem from profanation of the vulgar, but made a mental note to ask Miss Betty for a copy of it later on. " When you come to think of it," observed Jim, reflectively, " it's not so easy to define the attraction of a wandering life. Even in this matter of houseboats there's an elusive something which most of us feel, but I can't put my finger on the exact spot which it touches in my sentimental anatomy." " Mightn't you say the same of Lady Betty ? Can you resolve that charming person's fascination into its component parts ? If you ask me, I should say that idleness and the allurements of variety are permanent ingredients in the nature of man . . ." " Talk sense. Of course there's the open air, and the shooting, and the physical satisfaction of walking oneself stupid ; but there's something more than this, only I can't put it into words. After all, as an old Chinaman said to me on the sea-wall this morning, mightn't we find lots of 96 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA other ways of enjoying life at less trouble and expense ? Why does this business get hold of one and stick when all others have grown stale ? " " Wanderers all, I suppose, Jim. What are we doing among yellow men, anyhow ? The ruling passion, and the last to go ; it's part of the Briton's heritage that within him there are voices calling him to come out from among the chimneys and brick walls, and hear the wind blow free. Now, if Wilden were a Frenchman, he would not want to leave his comfortable fireside and the wife of his bosom to go prowling about the shores of the Yellow Sea in all kinds of weather." " And if Thurlsby were a Dutchman, he'd be wearing a skull-cap and playing chess at his club instead of chasing duck in the small hours." " That's about it. ' A man doing fit things forgets Hades,' and our ideas of fitness shape themselves at the bidding of innumerable ghosts. But if you really want to .explain to Lady Betty the essential spirit and virtue of houseboating, the thing has been fairly well done, some thousands of years ago, for the patient goodly Odysseus." The door opened and Thurlsby came in, with a rush of the keen north wind. The lawyer's eye, in search of evidence, fastened on Rossetti. " Finished that work yet. Major .'' What's this — poetry ? A book of verses and a fat bow-wow, A glass of wine, some pickled fish and now Poor Wilden singing in the wilderness, Oh come and put a stopper on his row ! THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 97 *' Don't you fellows know that dinner's ready ? " So the Major's Daemon was exorcised. In due course Miss Betty gave me the sonnet (that dainty person treats me as an elderly uncle), and to my mind it affords remark- able proof of the stimulating effect of the tender passion on the average human intelligence ; also it shows how great and well worth seeking is the mine of unsuspected poetry to be found under familiar and most unpromising waistcoats. Here it is ; I rather like the way he brings the wild geese into it : — Where the lone marshes circle Ocean's bed I stand and watch the pallid daylight wane, A phantom curlew's cry, far overhead. Breaks on the stillness with a note of pain. Ghostly the wind comes shuddering through the sedge, More pitiful than any lover's sigh. As if in fear, over the dark world's edge. The wild geese wing, in serried squadrons high. Now darkness falls, as the last hopes of day Forlorn against night's battlements are hurled ; Swift shadowy sails speed silent o'er the bay. As if escaping from a doomed world. Yet, love, whene'er I turn to thoughts of thee The world is full of joyful melody. At dinner the Major mentioned Penn, the teaman, as an instance of the theories he was trying to prove. (The fact that nobody wanted to disprove them only made him the more emphatic.) Penn had come in for two thousand a year and a place in Scotland, tried it for three years and then chucked it ; he had come back quite lately to spend H 98 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA his summers in Japan and his winters on the old houseboat. Some people said it was because his wife couldn't stand the strain of the British housemaid, and Penn wanted peace in his borders ; but Penn himself said that he had breathed too much fresh air to be able to stand the English rural Sabbath and local politics — couldn't live in a country where conformity to the movements of all the surrounding automata was a necessary condition of peace and decency. We argued the matter, from soup to coffee, without any very definite results. Wilden said he believed in the old familiar faces and places (though he was at pains to express the sentiment bluntly), in the force of habit which can make even dull spots and people take on forms of friendliness and welcome. " How can a fellow expect to grow new roots comfortably at Penn's age, especially in Scotland, where people look on you with suspicion if they don't know all about your private affairs, your wife's family history, and your religious ex- periences ? " Thurlsby summed up the matter in his own way as he and I sat on the deck-rail, smoking a last pipe before turning in. *' It seems to me," he said, " that life is always more or less a matter of ruts. Live where and how you like, you cannot avoid them, and the wise man is he who chooses his ruts on a road where he can hear the birds sing and see the sunlight on the hedges. Here and there in the world you may find a man brave or lucky enough to keep his un- fettered soul, his full liberty of mind ; but most of us, as the years go by, have to forswear our dreams, cease our THE ETHICS OF HOUSEBOAT TRAVEL 99 excursions into the fairyland of fancy, and stolidly enough accept the commonplaces of a world of routine. We settle down into our rut." " 1 don't see how wisdom herself can prevent it. To play the Olympian, to live the hero life, isn't as simple as the copy-books make out. Even Solomon fell into an uncomfortable rut at last, and Socrates found no better way of proclaiming his independence of mind than by playing for cobnuts in the street." " That's just what I mean. The wise man will play marbles, or the trombone, to free his soul from the prison- house of commonplace, of fixed ideas. We in the East suffer from a rut peculiar to our environment, a rut of fleshpots and soft living that brings its penalty in gradual mental atrophy. In the ordinary course of existence we are attacked by fatty degeneration of the thinking apparatus ; what we require, my friend, is a Sandow system for the mind. And so, people like you and me take instinctively to houseboats and wandering amongst aboriginal things, as a •dog eats grass, to ward off insidious ruttishness. And by so doing we fall into the rut of restlessness." " Well, there, at least, the dust wiU not choke us." The K.C. got up, knocking the last ashes from his pipe. " If the end and reward of life is sensation and the delight of living," he said, " let us beware of ruts. Lots of people are dead without knowing it. But this is a queer time and place for us to be discussing our philosophies. Just look at the stars ! " The night was wonderfully still. Across the water the lOO HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA jagged battlements of the dead city loomed fantastic and ghostly in the moonlight. And, with the message of the myriad shining worlds, and the protean music of the clean north wind, all our talk, the echo of our little lives, every- thing except the beauty and mystery of the sleeping earth, dwindled to its proper insignificance. or- THE- ETERNAL-FEMININE " Seul le Reve interesse La vie sans Reve, qu'est-ce ? Moi, j'aime la Princesse." LOINTAINE. ^Y original intention was to discuss " Woman's place on the Houseboat," but on mature re- flection I have changed my mind. I wish neither to raise false hopes nor to give ofi^ence. Wilden, whose instincts remain those of the untamed hunter, abandons something of marital reticence when he says bluntly, as he did when we were discussing the matter a week ago, that she has no place there at all. To which the Admiral agreed. It was after tifiin, which may account for it. We had walked the Hsi-tai marshes all morning in the crisp November sunshine ; but snipe had been scarce and wild, so much so that the Admiral, who prefers dry-fly to wet-shooting, pro- posed that we should go for a sail in the Mighty Atom. A good soldier's wind was blowing and the lake was covered with white, brown, and blue sails innumerable, butterflies dancing on a field of azure and gold. Seen nearer, they lOI I02 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA became deep-laden mysterious Argosies, of gleaming amber, that swept by, silent, save for the drowsy murmur of their bellying sails and the velvety rhythm of rushing water ; boats of every size and shape, hurrying purposeful, on urgent business of barter. From all quarters they come, into all distances they go, down the long gleaming creeks ; only their sails visible above the higher dykes. And with it all, scarcely a sound upon the face of the waters or from the low-lying fields. We had left the Saucy Jane at her moorings, the Major and I, and had gone aboard the Mighty Atom. After an ineffectual protest by her lowdah against purposeless labour, we had sailed out of the creek and half across the lake before tiffin was done. Thereafter, we had spread rugs on deck and lay basking in the sun, at peace with all the world. It was the Major who then, by an incautious reference to the delights of sailing in feminine society, evoked the wrath of Wilden and much subsequent argument. Before going further I may as well explain that if the Admiral shared Wilden's conclusions, he arrived at them by routes less frank but more gallant. Also, I may describe the man. His commission as Admiral (of the Swiss Navy) was originally conferred in good faith by a newspaper reporter in Detroit, and accepted by that hospitable city as readily as by Danton himself; his ignorance of nautical matters is rivalled only by his bonhomie ; and after all, as he very wisely observes, until the Swiss Navy requires a more efficient head, why should he give up the command } In the meanwhile he has qualified for possible emergencies OF THE ETERNAL FEMININE 103 by frequent cruises in the Mighty Atom and by completing the education of a cook whose dinners have long been famous in the East. On all ordinary matters his views are of the positive order, his Epicurean philosophy attaining to the heights of dogma ; but as regards the fair sex he is wont to say that, with his liberty, he has preserved his illusions and an open mind. It is in argument that I like him best ; utterly disdaining theories, he fires his emphatic facts at you like pistol-shots, summing up the matter in a fiat ; there- after, should you persist, he will attack your mental state, your education, birthplace, and what not — clearly demon- strating from your deficiencies of body and mind the truth of his conclusions. And all with Gargantuan laughter and much popping of corks. Wilden was lying in the bows, keeping a lazy eye open for ducks, when the Major made that incautious remark. He got up, put his gun safely on the roof, and squatted next the Admiral. " My dear Major," he said, " that's the worst of you sentimental Irishmen. You're never content to let well alone. You won't believe that perfection hasn't yet taken up her domicile on earth, so that when you get a good thing you must spoil it by sighing for something better. Now, as to your last remark, didn't the preacher say there is a time for everything, a time for taking and a time for leaving behind } " " Or words to that effect," said I. " There are dishes one doesn't eat with a spoon," observed the Admiral judicially ; " everything in its place." 104 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA " Quite so," said Wilden ; " and the proper place for the hand that rocks the cradle is on dry land, under a roof- tree. Domesticity is one thing and love-making another, but they're both foredoomed to failure on a houseboat." " There have been honeymoons," ventured the Major. The Admiral chuckled. *' As long as society continues to insist on the isolation of the temporarily insane," he said, " they must go somewhere. We have neither Brighton nor Boulogne, and the spectacle of love routed by sea- sickness is too painful to contemplate. So they do the best they can, poor things, and speaking more from a general knowledge of human nature than of the immediate sub- ject, I should say that most of them are extremely glad to get back." " We are not discussing the holy state," said Wilden. " The question before this meeting is the position of the fair sex in relation to houseboats. Try and look at the thing rationally. It doesn't follow because a woman happens to be fond of a man that she should want to go to his club or play polo with him any more than she wants to smoke his pipes or wear his hat. Now, did you ever know a woman who was any good up country, who really liked the business, and didn't make herself jolly uncomfortable pre- tending that it was her idea of fun ? " " There's Mrs. Manton," said I impartially, " and Mrs, Threddle. . . . The first is the solitary exception that proves the rule : I'm free to admit that she seems to enjoy herself and can walk across country without being a nuisance and frightening every bird within half-a-mile. Yet even she OF THE ETERNAL FEMININE 105 brings along a collie that runs in and wants to fight your dogs at their work. As to Mrs. Threddle, it's only a mistaken sense of domestic duty that leads her astray. She goes in holy terror of being mobbed by the Chinese, comes back with a cold in her head and blistered feet, and then tells all her friends how jolly it is, how dear Fred wouldn't enjoy it a bit without her, and aU the rest of it. There's nothing harder to deal with than misguided sentiment of that kind." " It seems to me," observed the Major, " that I've known Mrs. Wilden and the kids to have a pretty good time in their own way up country." " Now, Major, don't pretend to be dense. Christmas outings and children's picnics are another story. A man isn't necessarily a brute because he's got a family. This discus- sion began by your lurid imagination revelling in the vision of petticoats on this boat." " Keep your ideals," remarked the Admiral ; " but keep them at a distance." The Major smiled as one who can afford to pity his fellow-creatures. " I don't think even my imagination would revel in the vision of a lady on board such a boatful of chivalry as this. It seems ito me," he went on reflectively, " that whatever ideals you fellows may once have had have been drowned in your brimming fleshpots. Observe, I don't say that a man should necessarily want to take his nursery up country or that a houseboat is the ideal place for courtship. What I do say is that unless a man is a worse misogynist than any io6 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA of you, there are always moments when the ordinary human man's mind completes the picture with a woman's face." "In other words," I suggested, " the day being fine and snipe scarce, your artistic temperament is gently stirred by romantic surroundings, and you are disposed to exchange the three of us for one sympathetic person of the other sex. And quite right too " " Oh, it's easy enough to twaddle ; but you know what I mean." Wilden chipped in again, " Yes, I think I know the sort of picture the Major has in his mind's eye, and it's all right in its way. The only trouble is that it won't stand up against the hard facts of real life. Of course it's delightful to dream of sailing about like this with the only woman on earth — to exchange the ardours of the chase for transcend- ental idealism under a blue sky. But by the time you've got her here and taken her safely back again, you'll wish you had worked out your ideals on a yacht near the Bund." " Duke est desipere^'' said I, " but there's certainly a good deal in the loco.^'' " Even I," sighed the Admiral, " have often reflected in my melancholy way how jolly it would be to come back, after a long tramp, and find the boat bright with flowefs, a dainty tea-table all ready, and behind it, in soft chiffons and lace, the woman you'd like to see there, sweetheart or wife, as the case may be. It's a picture which undoubtedly appeals more to the artistic and aesthetic side of me -than that of Wilden in his old dressing-gown, smoking a pipe on OF THE ETERNAL FEMININE 107 his bunk. I can imagine cosy little tete-a-tetes^ for instance." " Pretty dreams," said Wilden ; " but, as a matter of fact, you've tried it, and you know how the real thing works out. If the dear girl goes out with the guns you've got to reckon on a crowd of natives following you all day, attracted by the strange she-devil ; what with looking after her, and answering artless questions, there isn't much time or opportunity for shooting ; and when she gets back to the boat she's too tired to sit up and do the pretty polite. On the other hand, if she stays on the boat all day she's bored to death by tea-time, and expects you to prop up your eyelids somehow and amuse her all the evening. *' Faut souffrir pour etre beau," said the Admiral. " Personally," continued Wilden, " I don't come up country for grand opera or grandes passions. You can't have everything. Major. Why not make up your mind that the object of this sort of thing is simply to brush off the cobwebs of pidgin, to get away from tea-parties, dress clothes, and all the other silly parlour tricks we have to play ; you can't do that and bring them along with you too." "All of which," said the Major, "means that you are a beastly egoist. If you want to wear sweaters, play cards all the evening, and fill the cabin with smoke, you can ; but that does not prevent the existence of a higher order of intelligence." Now, I knew what Jim had been thinking about, and was able to sympathise with his point of view. But I didn't want the argument to descend from the general of our talk io8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA to the particular in our minds, so I made a flanking move- ment. " It seems to me," I said, " that for an idealist it is not fitting to put the bodily presence before the joys of imagination. Why should you want the imperfect reality aboard. Major, when we can all dream blissfully of our ideals of perfection ? " " Why should you take a whisky and soda," said Jim, " when you can think of Pommery t " The Admiral is never slow to seize an idea of this kind, and the boy speedily emerged with drinks. I ventured on a quotation. " This insatiate and greedy desire of corporal presence doth somewhat ' accuse the weakness in the jovissance of soules,' it was a wise man who said that. Major ; jovissance, as he knew it, and as most wise men have known it sooner or later, is chiefly a matter of imagination." Jim was getting restive. " If the old buffer meant to say that he would as soon dream about a girl's hand as hold it, he was either a fool or a liar." " Major," remarked the Admiral, " I'm afraid you are only a poor materialist after all." " That," said Wilden, " is expressing it crudely. Putting it philosophically, you might say that when the irresistible Life-force commands the blind earth-worm to fulfil its destiny, no amount of wise jaw can stop that worm." "As to that," observed the Major, " I have never met a woman who talked such rot as you fellows." OF THE ETERNAL FEMININE 109 "That settles it," said the Admiral, "we'll have a ladies' picnic next week." Just then Wilden sighted duck ahead (which, as he observed, were more in his line than hens) and the eternal feminine gave place to immediate realities. But that night she hovered again, over our last nightcap, on board the Saucy Jane. The wind was howling over the marshes, with a sound like the wailing of lost souls for ever driven through darkness. "Just listen to that, Jim," I said ; "there's poetry and mystery in that, but it's the sort of thing that makes one grateful for good bunks and baccy, and the other prosaic things of life." "Those fellows talked awful rot to-day," he observed irrelevantly, " but you knew what I meant. Even old Rex there can indulge in his dreams." " You were perfectly right, Jim, and so were they. It's all a question of the point of view — the eternal struggle of the realist against ideals. You've got to remember that there's always something ' shame-faced ' and sheepish about your Anglo-Saxon discussing his emotions or his soul ; it's part of the national instinct and training to pretend he has neither. In time he comes to a dull acceptance of the small beer of life as part of the sorry scheme of things and refuses to contemplate the possibilities of nectar. But even he dreams of it for all that." " I suppose so. But he won't confess it even to him- self He puts his dreams away in the innermost vault, forgets what they look like, and then goes back to the no HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA serious business of his existence, collecting bits of metal or mud." " Jim," said I, " you're getting sentimental. Let's go to bed." As we turned in, the voice of Wilden came fitfully from the other bank (he always sings when the dogs are being walked), and the words came weird and unreal against the background of the darkness and desolation of the midnight marshes. And mine it is to follow in her train, Do her behest in pleasure or in pain, Burn at her altar love's sweet frankincense And worship her in distant reverence. " I really believe," said the Major, as he pulled the bed- clothes over his chin, " that the British race has put all its available stock of feelings into maudlin after-dinner songs. That's the fellow, mind you, who objects to the idea of women up country ! " " Not the idea, Jim, it was the corporal presence. The limitations of time and space. ..." " Oh, shut up." And Jim, without further words, in the childishly sudden manner he affects, went off to sleep, doubtless to sail again over shimmering blue waters towards the sunset, listening to the soft voice, and gazing into the unfathomable eyes of his Lady of Dreams. Dear Lady of Dreams ! To each one of us, so long as the soul within us lives, she comes at times, opening the gates of Heaven, if only for a moment. For days and years we may tread the dusty road of life, unthinking, and OF THE ETERNAL FEMININE iii then, suddenly, at a turning of the way, we find her wait- ing ; and all our burden of weariness drops from us straightway, as we lose ourselves in the music of her voice, telling of joys and wonders unforgotten. With some, her favoured ones (we call them poets), she lingers, leading them through fields of asphodel to fairy melodies — and in their songs we catch the echo of her glorious message. Most of us she guides but a little way, yet long enough to make us forget our heavy dust-laden feet, to show us the glory of the distant hills, and send us, singing bravely, forwards. Seldom (such is the weakness and isolation of our poor human souls) may we drink a deep draught of Being from "the well amidst the waste" ; rare glimpses only do we catch of that inner life of which she tells. Beside a death- bed, or when we see the love-light dawn and glow in another's eye, the veil is swiftly lifted, and far out into the infinite void we hear the beating of majestic wings. At such moments she is with us, our Lady of Dreams. She walks, as Atalanta walked in Calydon. The strength and beauty of the pine-clad hills is in her foot- steps ; in her hair the sunlight gleams as on amber waves. Her eyes are wonderful, now dancing bright as northland stars, now deep and clear as some fir-shaded mountain-pool. All things beautiful and cleanly and sweet are hers to love : children and flowers and the song of birds, ripe autumn fields and hearts of simple men. And because hers is the knowledge of all time and worlds, because she understands all Life's sorrows and perplexities, she has no anger, but only pity, for our sins and foolishness. Therefore to her. I 12 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA in certainty of sympathy, we tell in unuttered words our heart's desire, and at the touch of her gentle hand, all soul- dividing barriers fall, and the deep places of our being are made whole. *~ In solitude, wherever the kindly earth speaks to us of Beauty, she comes on magic wings, bearer of comfort, and at her passing we look forth with new eyes upon the world. Something of her magic lingers henceforth in the faces of familiar friends ; the echo of her voice in simple household words. If we wiU but listen, hers is the voice that speaks in the thunder of the surf, in the deep silences of the woods, and in the thrush's throbbing song. From the uttermost depths of disillusion she calls us, our Lady of Dreams, to lay at her feet our faded wayside flowers and our rue. As a kind nurse to tired children she brings consolation and healing, because in her are all the ideals of joy and beauty vainly sought in all our uncounted, unremembered lives. Happy is he to whom she comes in time of need, our Lady of Dreams ; happier still he who until his journey's end shall seek her, ever undismayed, amidst the world of men. OTHER° NATTER " Who loves to live i' the sun, Seeking the food he eats And pleased with what he gets, Come hither, come hither, come hither : Here shall we see No enemy But winter and rough weather." Shakespeare. BITTER wind was blowing from the north, and there was a crackle of thin ice at the edge of the paddy fields and dykes. To eastward the first faint lines of light were breaking the thick-packed banks of cloud, broadening slowly and tipping their dark edges with saffron and pink and pearl. Behind us the world lay still brooding in darkness, filled with the grey melan- choly which haunts the hour before the dawn. Slowly, as the light grew, houses and trees stood forth like ghosts, and the walls of Soochow, half-a-mile away, took form, grim and silent, against the skyline. We stood under the lea of a big grave and waited. A hundred yards away, in the 113 I 114 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA unploughed paddy, we could hear the faint fluttering and babble of feeding duck ; the morning flight would soon begin. It was a favourite spot of ours, this, between the feeding- grounds and the Great Lake. Hither, when the north wind blows, mallard flock at dusk with widgeon and pintail and teal ; year after year, in January and February, impelled by phantom voices from the past, following the long trail of heredity, and at dawn they flight southwards. Sometimes we come here at sunset, especially when the moon is nearing the full, but this morning I had overcome the Major's chronic objections to early rising, and by six o'clock we were out. It was bitterly cold. Hugging the shelter of a protecting sycamore we blew on our fingers and waited, while old Rex, whining gently in protest against our inactivity, snuggled his head between Ah Kong's knees. " Major," said I, " it's beastly cold ; but they ought to be moving soon." Jim's reply was irrelevant. " I was just thinking," he said, "that it's just getting on for midnight in London town. The band must be tuning up for supper at the Savoy. Can't you see it all, Phil ? Those tired foreign noblemen in the plush clothes, collecting hats at sixpence each ; in the corners the children of Israel at their coffee, and, in the distance, the red-shaded lights and the tables glittering in silver and white ? Can't you hear the rustle of silk skirts and the sob of that ugly gipsy's violin ? It's only just a little way over yonder, just as we left it, and the sun will look down on it all in a few hours. It's all there, OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 1 1 5 the rush of life, the music and the women, the pick of the best on earth, and here we stand like idiots, freezing to death on a Chinaman's grave." " We might be doing much worse, old chap. It's this sort of thing that makes the lights of London look so jolly bright for a time when we get back to them. There's many a man in town to-night who'd change places with us and be glad of the chance." Jim, lighting his pipe, struck a match on the tombstone at our feet. The laconic inscription winked at us between the puffs. *' It's a queer business, anyway," he went on. " Observe : here, since the days of George the First, Chang Li-ping, erstwhile Sub-prefect, has slept in peace (provided the Taipings didn't make fuel of him), and many later Changs have burned their joss-sticks on his mound and then crept under it themselves, without a sight or sound of foreign devildom to disturb their celestial peace. And now, here we come from the ends of the earth, digging up their bones to make roads for our fire-wheel carts, shooting guns over their ancestral heads, and shocking their indignant shades with talk of strange sing-song houses overseas. Phil, the gods of the East are dying. Old Li told me so only yesterday." " The East will get others, Jim. And they will not be ours." Out of the grey dawn and above the voice of the north wind there came a whirr of wings, faint at first, but rushing swifdy to a clear crescendo. ii6 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA " Look out," whispers Ah Kong, eagerly pointing ; " have got duck come ; largee piecee," and a pair of mallard, flying fast and low, come straight over the edge of the grave. So close are they that the purple and bronze of the drake's wing send a swift message of beauty to the mind dormant beneath instincts of destruction. Terror lies in the sidelong glance of the dark eyes, in the lilt and swift up- ward curve of their flight. Ten yards away and one loud hopeful quack expresses their pent-up feelings ; another ten, and they collapse, suddenly overtaken by Destiny, as the guns speak out. At the first shot a mighty rushing of wings rises from the nearer paddy. We catch a glimpse, a glint of brown and grey, as a bunch of teal sweeps over the farther dyke. From all sides comes the warning quack of mallard, circling like restless ghosts overhead. To the left a flock of widgeon comes hurtling by, leaving three of their number behind. As the light strengthens the flight begins in earnest, and for twenty happy minutes we are in the thick of it. Many birds, after each shot, pass wide to left and right, but the grave is a good screen, and those that follow keep their accustomed line, some even swerving in, decoyed by the fluttering of a winged bird in the paddy. Teal and mallard suffer especially from this fatal curiosity ; drop one of a bunch, and the others, describing a wide circle, will frequently swoop back, singly and in pairs, low flying over the dykes. The last of our bag was a pair of geese that came loom- ing up unsuspectingly out of the distance, leisurely flapping their way to the lake after the night's feed. Ah Kong, OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 117 keeping watch, gave warning, but there was no time to change our No. 6 ; nor was there need, for they came so straight upon their doom that, passing overhead, they got our first barrels at twenty yards and died straightway in their tracks. Rex, released from durance, brought them in, his whole body stiff with pride of the chase, his face puckered up with canine mirth, and snorting joyously through his nose. Then came ten minutes of retrieving wounded and dead birds (how curious is the apathetic surrender of the larger ducks and geese as compared with the dogged instinct of preservation and cunning of a wounded teal !), and Ah Kong shouldered a heavy game- stick as we filled our pipes. And so back to breakfast. The short promise of the dawn had died ; east to west the sky was murky grey, and the rain had set in steadily evidently for the day. On our way back to the boat a curious incident occurred, one of those things which make natives believe in foreign devildom. As we came round the corner of a fir-planted mandarin grave a cock pheasant rose straight ahead ; going his best he was just reaching the shelter of some trees when Jim fired, and the last we saw of the bird was a head-over- heels collapse. At the corner where he fell Rex got the scent and followed it into some cover. There, amidst the graves, we came upon an old woman gathering fuel ; she had seen no bird, she said ; the collie could find no sign of it, and Rex could not pick up a line. It was only a little clump of trees, and all around lay the bare fields ; yet we searched in vain. CUSTOMS LIBRARY ^S. A '^ 1 -us ii8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA " He didn't look like a runner," said Jim. " Hallo, what's the matter with Rex ? " The dog had given it up as a bad job some minutes before and had followed Ah Kong, who, with the curious hang-dog manner which natives in foreign employ assume when talking to their countrymen, was still questioning the old woman. Suddenly Rex began to display most unusual interest in the old lady, smelling and pawing at her skirts. Ah Kong seized the situation at once ; a rapid altercation followed, and then, with all the sangfroid of a conjurer and something at the same time reminiscent of the contortionist, the old sinner dived into her own recesses, so to say, and produced our bird, tied by one leg to some unidentified inner garment. The thing was done with a sad dignity that made us almost apologetic ; but something had to be said. " Miserable and worthless one," I said, " why did you try to steal our pheasant : " Rex, with the bird in his mouth, wagged a vociferous tail. " How did I know it was your pheasant } " she answered ; " I caught the bird running in the wood. But I give it to you because your dog has a devil-gitt of mind-clearness and knows secret things. Take him away." So we took him away, and, as we went, the poor soul observed audibly that she had known this pheasant since its youth up, or words to that effect, and that it did not belong to the men from overseas. The Saucy Jane lay moored near the great stone bridge, whose fifty-three arches, the natives say, are never more than fifty-two if you count them from south to north. Its Chinese name is " The Bridge of the Precious Girdle," and OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 119 the story goes that in the good old days when Chinese officials were really the " fathers and mothers " of the people, when they cared, and paid, for public works, and before squeezing had been raised to a fine art, vast sums were spent on the canals, bundings, and bridges of the great trade route between Soochow and Hangchow. (That this is true we know who have seen the crumbling ruins of all that stupendous masonry.) But for this bridge either the funds or the good intentions gave out, so that for two years it remained unfinished ; therefore the tow-path ended in space, and thousands of toilers, in sight of their journey's end, had perforce to "eat bitterness," Then, travelling on Imperial business, came a Great Man (so great that they who tell the story to-day have forgotten his name), who, seeing the un- finished bridge, waxed indignant and sorrowful. Forth- with he saw the Governor and the Treasurer, and finding them without funds (there was no lekin in those good days) he gave them his own girdle of turquoise and rubies and jade ; and so the work was finished. It is a pretty story, and it gains in effective contrast with the methods of to-day. There stands the bridge, murmurous as of old with the shouts and songs of coolies bending to the tow- rope, smooth-polished by the unnumbered feet of all those who have crossed it and gone their ways ; but the iron- work has been sadly pilfered, many of the stone lions have been thrown down or defaced, while here and there a melancholy wreckage of coping-stones and railing hangs perilously over the water. And although these are the days of Young China, and reform and sovereign 120 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA rights, the common people's highway is still nobody's business. There is good snipe-ground near the Bridge, and golden plover frequent the waste places of the " Settlements," so that, as we trudged towards the boat, there were two voices within us : one the call of the wild, the Spartan cry, the voice of the hardy sportsman — a voice which meant breakfast in damp clothes and a day on the narrow dykes with the rain in our eyes, but withal the screech of snipe rising from the lotus-ponds and the joy of a fast bird well dropped. Also, there was in the air, despite the rain, a first faint message of spring, a suggestion, as of distant music and colour, somewhere behind the veil of s^rey. But the other voice sang luringly of soft things ; of baths and breakfast un- hurried, of tobacco and books in the cosy cabin of the Saucy Jane, with the rain pattering on the roof for greater comfort. To be quite honest about it, after a mental struggle in which the sight of Rex's drooping tail and muddy coat had their effect, the Spartan voice allured me less than that of Sybaris, but I would not have said so for worlds. I would leave that to Jim — knowing his little weaknesses — and thus preserve my own " face," while acquiring some merit for making graceful concessions. We all do this sort of thing at times. Breakfast was laid when we came aboard ; there was a savour of frizzling bacon and coffee that tickled the nostrils most gratefully ; compared to the dreary dampness of every- thing outside, the cabin certainly was a very pleasant place indeed. OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 121 " Well, we've made a fairly decent bag," said Jim. " Lowdah, come and pull off my boots." I was scraping the mud off mine at the gangway in a rather ostentatious way, while Ah Kong was busy drying Rex with a wisp of straw, speculating, as I knew, on the chances of a long day at dominoes with the lowdah and the cook. " Not worth while changing for breakfast, old chap," I remarked casually. " We'll be out again in an hour." But I felt the rain trickling down the small of my back, and the thud of Jim's boots on the cabin floor was like music in my ears. Heroism was foredoomed (so be it), but the soul of me was glad, and that comfortable lying knave, conscience, made no sign. " Not much," said Jim. " As long as this rain goes on, the snipe may rest in peace so far as 1 am concerned. Don't believe in making a toil of pleasure. Be aisy, man ; we'll move the boat up to the Custom House and look in on old Merryman at tiffin time. It'll be an act of real charity to him, and you can let him expound his latest theories on the reform movement. Anyhow, no paddy fields in the rain for this child. We've got plenty of books." " Jim," said I, " you're as bad as one of your Chinese recruits. Here we come, a hundred miles or so, to shoot snipe . . ." " Poppycock. We came to enjoy ourselves, and I mean to do it. Now, just take your boots off, have a bath, and content yourself with a sense of futile virtue." 122 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA I had played the Spartan, and honour was safe without more words, and so the boots came off. And then it was that Ah Kong assumed the part that conscience had not played and deprived me of acquired merit. As the second muddy boot hurtled out on to the deck he looked up. The anxious look of a minute ago had given place to one of virtuous sorrow. " Master no shootee more ? " He asked it with an " Under the old grey 'walls of Soocho^w." implied reproach unmistakable. " Countryman talkee have got plenty snipe just now." " No, Ah Kong. Have got some pidgin inside city. Come back shootee this evening." He looked at me and said nothing ; but when it comes to saving one's face, it is hard work fooling a Chinaman. As we sat over our leisurely breakfast the boat m.oved, with the slow and silent motion of the yuloh, along the canal and under the old grey walls of Soochow — Soochow, once the Paris of China, belauded of Marco Polo, thrice sacked in the Taiping days. On the tow-path half-a-dozen OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 123 miserable specimeas of sodden humanity pulled doggedly towards the city gate, but there was hardly any other sign of life. Here and there a boat, propelled by invisible hands, shot past us in silence, but most of the river-craft lay huddled for shelter under the high banks, and all the life of the fields had taken refuge in the houses, which stood out, like weary sentinels, amidst the waste of rain-swept paddy. Even between the walls and the Canal, in that No-man's land where the beggars and rag-pickers of the city have their motley homes of old boat hulks and matting, the only living things visible were a pig, some hens too hungry to abandon the search for food, and an old woman patiently struggling with wet straw to boil her rice pot under the shelter of a grave. "Jim," said I, as we lay on our bunks and soothed our Capuan souls with Craven mixture, " let's leave old Merryman alone for to-day. We'll go up to the P'an Men and then, if it clears, we'll take a walk through the city, look up Wimple, and hear what he thinks of the boycott in these parts. Then we can have the boat meet us over yonder by the camp, and shoot again in the afternoon." " Right oh ! " said Jim. He was in that blissful state of mind which would have made him say " Right oh " to any proposal which would leave him the immediate certainty of half an hour's undisturbed idleness. But I know he does not love Wimple. So the boat lapped lazily on past the lonely Custom House towards the P'an Men, the busiest of all the gates 124 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA of the city, the place to which the Chinese officials said the railway line must never come — until they had bought up all the land near the terminus ; past the Foreign Settlement, so carefully located, where no trade can ever come near it, in the usual " place apart," most closely resembling, in its carefully marked out town-lots and grass-grown roads that lead nowhere, the delectable City of Eden ; past the latest encampment of foreign -drilled braves who, even in the rain, cease not from their martial bugling, apparently the only feature of our military system that the Chinese reaUy appreciate and enjoy. All over the country you will find them, singly and in squads, these soldiers of the coming military power, sturdily practising, by the hour, the war-calls of Europe. Here at Soochow the tuition had originally come from France {via Japan, no doubt). Mademoiselle, avez-vous du tabac Avec une pipe comme 9a ? The old familiar notes, blown lustily by a bucolic brave holding the usual umbrella in his free hand, seemed to come from some weird haunt of the utterly incongruous. What, in the name of all things outlandish, is the phantom voice of the Little Corporal doing here in the rain under the walls of Soochow .'' Jim looked at the matter differently ; the sound stirred his military instincts, and the instincts of the British officer may be generally described as a forward policy whose objective includes the entire habitable globe. " If they must learn bugling," he said, " which is all OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 125 damned nonsense until they've learned drill and discipline, why can't they stick to one kind ? I've only heard one real Chinese bugler ; he was a little Mahommedan sergeant in the Weihaiwei regiment, and to hear him play ' Lights Out ' or * Puddings and Pies ' was a treat. I remember once . . ." I created a diversion, drawing his attention to the Japanese Settlement, where, in one corner of its deserted space, a few braves were drilling (without umbrellas) under the stern eye of an instructor from Dai Nippon. "Aye, Phil," he said, thoughtfully addressing the window-pane, "it was the little foxes that ate up the vineyard, wasn't it .'' I believe there's a good deal of sympathy possible between us and the Japanese ; we are proud of him as a fighting man, and he likes us for being fairly truthful, and for some other things ; but even in the happiest of families the fool brother gets more kicks than ha'pence, and that's what I don't quite Hke about this alliance. We're the fool brother, and every Jap in the country knows it." "Do you think he'll make warriors of our Celestial friends, Jim .'' " "That's another story. China's a big country, big enough to hold many tribes and tempers, and I've no objection to his being drill sergeant so long as it's a square game. All we want is a fair field and no favour, and I wish we were quite sure of getting it." " Yes, we kept the ring for them." " And the stake was the open door. But it looks as if. 126 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA when they keep it open, there's going to be a door-keeper, and the Japs will be admitted half-price. If they do, it will be our own fault, the fitting penalty for national imbecility and ignorance." " Surely, Jim, it's a question of economics .? We declined to fight Russia for the open door in China, because the British taxpayer didn't want to part with another penny in the pound for a trifle like that. So Japan did the job for us, and thus the British public can go comfortably to sleep again, after reading in The Times that, thanks to our gallant little allies, the Far East is henceforth, as Providence meant it to be, our oyster, and will yield up to us its fatness without the aid of any cutlery or energy of ours." Jim snorted. " Yes, that's the way John Burns and Churchill talk, as if trade and taxes were the only things worth thinking and living for. Can't they realise that the moral effect of that Japanese friend of ours over yonder, driUing his fellow-Asiatics, must be felt all over the East, to the Indian Ocean and round the world again .? If England wants to claim any open door or share of her heritage in Asia she must keep her end up. It's that, or go." The discussion might have gone on, although I secretly agreed with Jim, because there was nothing better to do, also because I like to see him excited, and this is one of the few topics that draw him. Just then, however, there was a hail from the tow-path, and the boat stopped. A bedraggled and muddy individual, with an oil-paper um- OF DUCKS, RAIN, AND OTHER MATTERS 127 brella, was telling the lowdah, in most excellent vernacular, to let him come aboard. It was our friend the Reverend Mr. Wimple, of the Soochow Mission of Latter-day- Saints (U.S.A.), semi-political adviser of the Governor of Kiangsu. Mli'i'IONARIEi'- MANDARINJ'- M O R A L J*- CHAPTER XI " First observe the man : then preach the law." — Buddhist Text. HE gang-plank was put down, and Mr. Wimple came aboard, chaffing the coolies. I heard him tell the lowdah to cast off again as he was going with us to the P'an Men, and I made a mental note of the curious fact that the high nasal accents of ordinary American speech are softened, if not lost, in talking Chinese, and that herein lies a new argument, possibly useful to Roosevelt and other philanthropists, for intercourse between God's own country and Asia. He came in cheerily, depositing his umbrella in the coal-box. " Ugly weather, gentlemen, ain't it ? " he said. "The sort of thing that encourages the irreverent folks who think that Providence might be more thoughtful without being less good." He sat down by the stove, his clothes steaming gently, and helped himself in an absent- minded way to one of Jim's cigars. We bade him welcome, not so much because he needed it, as from fixed habits of Z28 MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 129 hospitality. "Thank you," he said, "it's no day for walking ; so, when I saw your boat, I thought you wouldn't mind taking me as far as the P'an Men. Are you gentlemen going into the city ^ " Jim was signalling a frantic " No," but as I find Mr. Wimple a rather interesting study, I said we were — that, as a matter of fact, we were going to see him and ask the latest news of the pro- vincial capital. "Well, that's lucky," he said genially, " I'm just going along to see old Liu, the Chih Hsien, on a little matter of land business — you know they're making trouble now even about Mission property. We'll all go together ; the business won't take ten minutes, and then you gentlemen will come along and have a bit of tiffin with me. It's all on your way if you're going back by the Settlement, and Mrs. Wimple will be mighty glad to see you." I had heard indirectly of Mission property business at Soochow ; there was a good deal of it handled by godly folk before the Foreign Settlement boom came to its untimely end, and now the railway had provided new opportunities. " Mr. H^imple came aboard." CUE I30 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA I said we would go, but Jim dodged the tiffin with a ready lie. " Thank you," he said, " we'll walk through the city and help you to frighten old Liu. But I promised Merryman we'd tiffin with him." Wimple is not a t}'pe, though by no means an isolated specimen, of the results of American missionary enterprise in China. He is rather one of the peculiar products of Western morals applied, on misguided principles, to the Far East. 1 remember well travelling out with him on the Pacific Mail that first brought him, one of a batch of seventy youthful enthusiasts, to convert the heathen. Till then, he had been a backwoods teacher in Dakota, saw life through the distorted medium of an undigested Pentateuch, and drank out of his finger-bowl. A year later I came across him preaching at a street corner at Soochow, in execrable Chinese, on the efficacy of faith as distinct from works, and distribut- ing leaflets against the opium habit. That was six years asfo : since then he has been led to believe that his mission lies with the educated and official classes, in the conversion of ' this great people ' from the top downwards, and incidentally it has come to pass that his labours have gradually become more secular and less dogmatic. It has even been rumoured that the vineyard is going to lose a labourer, and the yamens gain thereby another unofficial adviser ; this may be so, but for the present Wimple still figures prominently in the social and religious activities of missionary work, and the worthy citizens of the United States, who acquire vicarious virtue through his soul- saving MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 131 efforts, are privileged to pay for them and for the comfort- able existence of Mrs. Wimple and her steadily-increasing progeny ; his reports on the infant-school of the Latter Day Saints, replete with appropriate references to the good seed and the needs of the sower, are models in their way. An able man is Wimple, and no doubt his intelligence has revealed to him a truth (which many worthier souls will never realise) that his earlier enthusiasms were possibly due only to ignorance, and that, against the ancient social and philosophic system of China, our creeds and sects wage war in vain. Since the gloriously futile effort of the Crusaders to convert Asia, with battle-axe and Bible, to Europe's conception of an Asiatic creed, there is perhaps nothing in all the history of religions on this planet so pathetically hopeless as the misdirected energies of certain kinds of Christianity in the Far East to-day. Nor can you readily find a more glaring record of cynical pagandom than in the political purposes to which the governments of Christian States have put the gospel of peace and its messengers. Wimple and his kind are a by-product, the inevitable result of education wrongly applied ; because of their prominence with the mandarinate for background they attract undue notice even when (as in Corea) they set a kingdom by the ears. But setting them aside, looking only at the results of Roman Catholic and Protestant mission work, bravely and conscientiously done by hundreds of devoted men and women, who can honestly say that our * furor ' of proselytising is good either in its methods or its ends ? 132 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA In this matter we have assumed, ah initio^ false premises — each of the conflicting creeds to which the perversity of word-haunted priest-led men has brought the simple teachings of Christ justifies its attempts at 'converting' the Chinese on grounds of moral and intellectual superiority. In this the "good Christians who sit still in easy-chairs" in Battersea or Boston may be reckoned blissful and blameless perhaps, because of ignorance, but no man who has lived for years amongst the Chinese and observed their habits of thought carries any such conviction to cheer his daily round. If, from sheer force of habit and fixity of purpose, he is able to do so for himself, he will most vehemently deny justification to other godly men, his neighbours ; and thus the House of Wisdom is divided, filled, like the Temple of old, with the noisy arguments of the doctors, while the patient heathen passes by, either indifferent to the clamour, or wondering, in his instinctive agnosticism, that there should be so many divergent roads to Heaven. The Chinese are essentially a practical race, and any system of ethics or morals that we preach to them must appeal, in the first place, to their reasoning faculty ; it must also be made to harmonise with certain fundamental principles of life and living which, transmitted through countless generations, have accumulated all the force of instinct. As a race, they intuitively judge the tree by its fruit ; works, not faith, justify the exponents of any new gospel of peace. For this reason the medical missionary and the Little Sisters of the Poor are the successful evangelists of China ; for this reason also the lesson taught by the allied armies at Peking MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 133 in 1900 has sunk deeper than any preaching into the hearts of the people ; they know, and will not forget, that there it was an Asiatic army, and not those of Christian Europe, which practised gentleness and compassion, soberness and self-control in the midst of savagery ; and the knowledge often outweighs our teachings and our texts. At first glance it would seem that China offers an ideal field for mission work ; that the material surroundings which fetter the soul of this people call urgently for a creed which shall open up a spiritual horizon, a larger life. But because the Chinese are a thinking race we cannot bring to their edification the men or the methods which we employ for African savages, nor can we expect them to . recognise in our shrieking theologies the simple message taught to Asiatics long ago by the Sea of Galilee. Mr. Charles Booth, writing of the irreligion of the London poor, finds one of its chief causes in " the persistent and undignified struggle between competing religious bodies, rising into almost open warfare for possession of the field." The same cause, amongst others, underlies the failure of religious work in China ; " Not peace, but a sword " is the missionary's reply, and the sword is accordingly an ever-present result of his labours — the sword of savage mobs, avenging some real or fancied interference with their established ways ; thereafter, the sword of earth-hungry powers avenging the messengers of peace. And anon the missionary returns, under military escort, all unconscious of the grim irony of his position, preaching again the message of forgiveness and peace to an indemnity - paying people. "Little children," he says. 134 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA " love one another," and next day he earnestly denounces his brother. If, by virtue of some Utopian scheme, such as Chang Chih-tung's dream foreshadows in China's latest treaty with England, the Christian Churches could be led to agree either to divide the field or to substitute one single human gospel for the dry bones of conflicting dogma ; if, for the Babel of doctrines poured forth by Wesleyans, Primitive Methodists, Baptists, Nestorians, Episcopalians, and a score of others, we could give these people a simple creed informed with the fellowship of man rather than with intimate knowledge of the road to Heaven — then the unction of good work which many comfortable Christians overseas lay to their souls might be nearer attainment. It is as easy in Peking as in London to talk of the ultimate efficacy of bread upon the waters, but if the history of missionary work in China can teach anything, it is that the casting must be warily done, and that it was one gospel, and not a dozen, which was to be preached unto all the world. These things were in my mind as Wimple chatted cheerily in the cabin of the Saucy Jane.^ telling of the social life of the Soochow missions, their literary gatherings, their endless warfare of words, and the fierceness of Roman Catholic competition. The man was earnest enough ; his heart was in the day's work, whatever it might be ; yet as he talked on, and as Jim sat there, a grim figure of stolid endurance, the feeling that gradually shaped itself in my mind was one of the futility of all those purposes which we three severally represented in the complex riddle of our cosmos. Here MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 135 was Wimple, representative of a race of conscience-ridden hustlers, preaching his distorted version of an Asiatic religion to Asiatics — a militant exponent of the ways of peace ; Jim, peacefully teaching these same Asiatics how to kill each other (and us) most scientifically ; and I, endeavouring, like thousands of other born Britons, to earn by a lifetime of exile the means to die decendy in mine own place ! And I could not help wondering what these ' heathen,' over whom we are all so busy, think of our civilisation and its ludicrous results as presented by ourselves. We got out at the gate and trudged eastwards, through two miles of narrow lanes, to the house of old Liu. The rain was still coming down steadily, and except in the main streets where the provision dealers are, the city was almost lifeless. Underfoot, the ragged pavement was slippery with black mud ; overhead, water dripped from gutterless roofs and sign-boards. Under old marble bridges, by the decay- ing piles of the canals, an unwonted current was stirring that black ooze in which the burghers of Soochow wash their vegetables and clothes ; the Paris of China was submitting to unusual ablutions. We walked in single file, dodging an occasional laden coolie, making way for chair-bearers, beggars, and dogs. Wimple telling us the while many things of the national movement, as conducted here by Young China, and Jim cheerily congratulating any begoggled students we met on the attractions of the provincial city. He calls that cul- tivating friendly relations with the native. Old Liu was an acquaintance of mine — a Chih-hsien of the ancient classical type, fat and wheezy, ignorant of every- 136 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA thing except the art of squeezing ; a very Solomon in the matter of wives, and much addicted to quotation from the Four Books on matters of propriety and virtue. We had one taste in common — snuff-bottles — a fact which had re- lieved the tedium of certain negotiations about the location of the Soochow Settlement in 1895. With Wimple he appeared to be on terms almost affectionate, received him without ceremony, and repaired with him to the privacy of an inner room where, judging by his fat chuckles, the business was not without its humorous side. Meanwhile, Jim and I sat sipping jasmine-scented tea in a pavilion surrounded by the fantastic rockery work that Chinese scholars affect to love. " There," said Jim, pointing to old Liu's waddling back, " you have the real incubus of China. There isn't the slightest use in providing the people with Bibles or rifles while these mediaeval blood-suckers are let loose on the community. All our diplomacy and treaties must ,be waste of time as long as we come up against these word-spinning vampires." " How are you going to get rid of them, Jim ? " " Not my business, I'm not a diplomat. But it's got to be done some day ; there have been lots of chances. The whole show could have been cleaned up in '60, or in '98, and again the other day, when the old Dowager made a run for it. Why not begin by limiting the number of officials, weeding out the bad ones, and putting all the ' expectants ' to some compulsory form of honest work ? " " With a British sergeant in each village, Jim ? Don't MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 137 forget that Little England's had enough of the white man's burden already." When Wimple came back (with Liu's flabby paw on his shoulder) we were still discussing the insoluble problem, and as we walked from the Yamen to the bright mission compound close by, I asked him what he thought of it. " Wal," he said, " it's a big proposition, and wise folks, like Sir Robert Hart and me and the Chinese themselves, aren't in any particular hurry over it. You may bully the East, but you can't hustle it, as Mr. Kipling says." " No," said Jim, " but we were talking of reforming the official system." " I've heard it said that a people gets the government it deserves," observed the missionary, " though it does look as if some countries had bad luck. But, speaking seriously, it seems to me there are only two ways about it. One's force, and that's an expensive method, besides making a mess ; the other's education and missionary work, and that's certainly slow." " But don't you think," I asked, " if the mandarin system could be gently persuaded to change a few of its wicked ways, things might be easier for these poor people and, incidentally, better for the foreign devil who wants to sell them piece goods .?" *' Speaking unprofessionally," said Wimple, " there are several practical ways of improving the conditions of life for the Chinese ; you could stop early marriages, for instance, and keep the population within feedable limits ; or you 138 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA could introduce cremation and so Increase the cultiva- tion area ; or you might abolish pigtails, and divert the time wasted in unnecessary head -shaving to productive labour. In the course of my experience I've discussed these things with many intelligent Chinese, and they all admit the existing evils, but perhaps they'd as soon have them as some of the things we've got and which we don't seem to be able to get rid of — dumping, you know, and canned meat, and dynamite and new women, and ward politicians." " Let's stick to the mandarin," said the Major. " Can nothing be done to him without horse, foot, and artillery ? " " Looked at from Moscow, or even from MinneapoHs," I observed, " he has his good points." " The trouble with foreigners," said Wimple, " is that they don't understand the classical mandarin, and so they don't know what to do with him. The Chinese people have got the thing pretty well seized up ; the official after all is one of themselves, and he knows just how far he can go in monkeying with the taxes or the public rights. But the foreigner, who gets most of his knowledge of Chinese life from the hsien sheng or the compradore, looks upon a peacock-feathered Taotai as the mysterious embodiment of all the Asia he doesn't understand — and he behaves accordingly." "That's true," Jim admitted, "and the mandarin is always coming up against the European with his own people's sympathy behind him because all his new squeezes are levied indirectly, and either connected with trade or identified with foreign indemnities." MISSIONARIES, MANDARINS, & MORALS 139 cc It seems to me," said I, " that the first thing required is to have all Consuls and diplomats specially trained in the methods and ideas of Chinese officials. That's what made Parkes a success ; he had seen the Board of Punishments from within." " That's right," said Wimple ; " ordinary diplomatic experience in Constantinople may be very valuable, but it's worse than useless at the Waiwupu. There's mighty little that Consuls or Ministers can learn about Chinese officials anyway — it isn't in the books, and they never get the chances we missionaries have. Now, have you gentlemen ever noticed anything peculiar about foreign officials doing business with Chinese ? " • • " Reminds one of marionettes," said Jim, " and you've got to avoid the champagne." " Wal, I don't suppose you've ever thought it out, but I have, and as you've asked my opinion about reforming the mandarin system, I'll make you a present of one practical idea. Just you get rid of the Chinese official dress, put them into frock-coats and top-hats, and after that it's * easy street, and home.' I've always had a pet theory of my own about the hypnotic influences of the P'utzu, and last winter I wrote it out for one of our Literary Sociable evenings. They liked it well enough, and some of the folks wanted to print it, but I thought the Board might think it a bit frivolous for a missionary. It ain't really, and if you'd like to read it ..." I said we would. Wal, come right in and I'll get it for you : it may C( I40 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA perhaps help to explain, Major, why the Caucasian's a failure at diplomacy in China. You're sure you won't stay to tiffin? We don't often have company, and Mrs. Wimple 'd be real pleased to see you." But the Major was not to be beguiled, so we went our ways, and Wimple promised to send his paper down to the boat by a coolie, who would bring him back some of our duck, " He's a humorous cuss," said the Major, " and he knows a lot about the Chinese. I'm not so sure that there isn't a good deal in his idea of top-hats instead of peacocks* feathers — and yet the Japanese ..." "They had education under the hats," I said, "and patriotism under the frock-coats. But the imitation was a blunder all the same." I read the paper to Jim after dinner. There was a good deal of padding in it and many local allusions, but it shows such knowledge of the subject as a whole that I feel justified in reproducing the pith and substance of the thing. •CHAPTER- XII \pNTHE • HYPNOTIC tlNFLUENCE- OFTH P'UTZU- "And the mean man boweth down, and the great man humbleth himself: therefore forgive them not." — Isaiah ii. 9. IT is a phenomenon persistent in Chinese history, observed by all foreign students, and noticed with complacency by native writers, that the wisdom and diplomacy of the Empire have invariably risen superior to defeat of its naval and military forces, not only nullifying the enemy's success, but frequently deriving solid advantage from the subsequent negotiations. The phenomenon itself is undeniable, as the records of previous dynasties fully prove (here the author quotes learnedly from the " Mirror of History "). If we study the subject since the time when the British began bringing civilisation (and opium) to China — which is the beginning of modern history in this country — we find that every defeat inflicted by Europe on the Celestial Empire has been followed by the diplomatic collapse (generally gradual, sometimes sudden) of the victors. Remember that in the past fifty years China has been mauled five times, her capital twice sacked, and her fighting capacity 141 142 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA — or rather her capacity for not fighting — has been much the same all the time ; yet how much forrader is Europe now, after the Boxer protocol, than she was in 1 8 60 ? Ask the diplomat ? he'll tell you times were never so bad in his business. The merchant ? he is getting down close to bed-rock. The missionary ? he's going to be regulated out of existence. Another defeat of China by the armies of Europe, and Western civilisation can pack up and get out, which is just one more instance of the general contrari- ness of cause and effect in this country. Newspaper people, and the retired consular folk who pose as authorities on the Far Eastern question, have explained the thing in their own way, of course. They're paid to do it, and they must live somehow. Some of them will tell you that it's the benevolent toleration of the West for this ancient civilisation ; others put it down to the international jealousies of the Powers, and there's a whole lot of talk about vis inertia and the capacity of China as a passive resister. You might as well explain a Mahatma by the rule of three. Some — and they are getting nearer the mark — say that the solution of the mystery lies in a peculiar quality of the atmosphere or dust in Peking, some soporific or flabbifying germ which speedily imbues the most intelligent and energetic of diplomats with the apathy of a dormouse and the complacency of a door-mat. A poet, who subsequently went to sleep himself, once expressed this opinion in some spirited lines : — As if the mouldering walls Of that Peking which typifies decay HYPNOTIC INFLUENCE OF THE P'UTZU 143 Shut out all purpose, shutting in the man, As if each roof in that foul street where lodge The envoys of proud states, had thrown the shade Of apathy on those who dwell below. But no explanation that any of you have heard of really meets the case. The slightest knowledge of humanity will lay out these journalistic fallacies, and the man who ascribes altruistic motives to Governments in these mailed fist days is just talking. As to passive resisters — well, history shows that they have generally resisted themselves into oblivion or comfortable servility ; there is no case on record of passive resisters behaving like the Empress Dowager and the Waiwupu, and living to a ripe old age. The Peking germ theory looks all right at first — I believed in it for quite a while myself — but there's a vital flaw in it which strikes you sooner or later, and that is, that a good deal of Chinese diplomacy isn't done in Peking, and yet the results are always the same — the defeated Yellow Man comes up smiling, to stand flat-footed on the stomach of the conquering "White. It was perception of this flaw that led me to the solution of the mystery. And when you think of the money and lives that have been spent on civilising China, all in the hope of getting them to wear our dry-goods while they live, and go to our Heaven decently when they die, it's a mystery that really seems worth more attention than it gets. It certainly deserves a select committee far better than most of the things Mr. Roosevelt worries himself about, and Mr. Rock- hill would do well to look into it and leave the foreign 144 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA relations of China in the Middle Ages to any sinologue that's got nothing better to do. And, like all great truths, it is very simple. The secret of the unvarying success of Chinese diplomacy lies in certain occult and hypnotic influences of the P'utzu, worn in the manner prescribed by the sumptuary laws of Hung Wu, the first of the Mings. They look innocent enough, don't they, these artistically-embroidered squares ? Many of you ladies use them for tea-cosies or cushions (just as some men wear a scarabeus of Old Egypt for a scarf-pin) without an inkling of the deadly work the thing has done in its time on a Prefect's chest or a Taotai's back. Hung Wu introduced his methods of government at a time when black art was a live business in the Far East. A good deal of it subsequently found its way to India, and reached Europe by way of Arabia, in time to make things quite interesting for the Middle Ages — {here follows a learned discussion of occult science^ as practised by the sect of the assassins^ Esoteric Buddhists^ the BorgiaSj and the Society for Psychical Research). Besides being an adept in hypnotism. Hung Wu was a student of history, and therefore had doubts as to the permanence of political institutions in China, that is, the China he meant to leave to his successors. Also, like Lord Curzon, he believed in keeping the military power sub- ordinate to the civil. So, with unholy incantations, he devised the P'utzu, and decreed that every official, civil and military, should wear them on their official robes. To the casual glance of the uninitiated they look as harmless as HYPNOTIC INFLUENCE OF THE P'UTZU 145 doyleys — sort of prehistoric postage stamps — but as a matter of fact Hung Wu put all he knew of devil pidgin into them, combining all the ingredients of mesmeric terrorism into a nicely graduated series, calculated to catch the eye of a blind beggar. And they have done their work ever since. I've worked out a theory of hypnotics from a careful study of the patterns on P'utzu, with notes of the relative potency of each combination and observations of results from personal experience — but this isn't the place for them. It would be difficult to explain to you exactly why a white crane standing on one leg on convoluted clouds, with a red sun in the corner, gets in its work quicker than a wild goose with a background of serrated waves, but it's a fact. And old Hung knew what he was doing when he gave the military officials P'utzus that looked all right — beasts like Sime's, very fierce and funny, but which can't stand up against any of the civil birds when it comes to deadly radiations. He knew, in the first place, that a military official would always be too far off in case of danger for any hypnotic influence to be effective ; and, secondly, that it didn't matter about the army getting beaten so long as the civil officers of the state could hypnotise the victors into a state of abject apology, which they have done ever since. So he bespattered the military with unicorns, seals, and rhinoceri, whose value, for mesmeric purposes, is trifling. With the civil order he was careful down to the ninth button ; never put in a bird that didn't mean business, filled in every corner with mystic scroll-work and secret dia- 146 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA grams ; so that in dealing with novices the Mandarin Duck is almost as terrifying as the Golden Pheasant. I once saw a French Consul utterly routed by the Egret of a liu fin hsien — sheer case of unreasoning panic. Of course the Chancelleries will scoff at all this — they always laugh at any idea that wasn't born in a Legation, which accounts for their chronic smile. And maybe some of you may have your doubts at first — I don't blame you for hesitating while you work it out. But just think of aU the cases you've known — doesn't it meet them exactly and explain the whole thing in a way that satisfies pure reason : Of course it does. Have you ever seen a Taotai or a Chih-hsien go out to talk to a mob when there's a row on ? It's an instructive sight. He doesn't do any talking — just walks down the street, with a peacock in a necromantic attitude on his chest, and the crowd melts away. If he went in his chair he'd be pulled to pieces — but the P'utzu works like the charm. And Hung Wu knew his business when he put one behind as well as in front. Have you ever seen a mandarin in a baU-room in England or America } I have ; in fact, it was the way the women behaved to old Wu Ting-fang at Washington that set me on the track of P'utzu hypnotism. I'm told it's the same all over Europe ; handsome, well-educated, decent women, the sort that we have to approach on our marrow 'oones, tumbling over each other and making themselves ridiculous for a glance of His Excellency's eye or a touch of his long-nailed fingers. I heard the other day of a leader of HYPNOTIC INFLUENCE OF THE P'UTZU 147 Boston society that ran around like a chicken with its head off because some of Tuan-fang's mission had accepted her invitation to dinner. And I've seen first season buds sitting out in conservatories with — well, let that pass. And it isn't as if they didn't know all what they're doing. They know all right. The woman who marries a Chinese Secretary of Legation in Paris or Vienna knows all about the other three wives, and mother-in-law, and the sort of a menage she's getting — but the P'utzu's too much for her, and she just goes dazed to her doom. Now think it out for yourselves — test my theory by your own knowledge. Wouldn't the reception given to Imperial Chinese Commissioners or Ministers in Europe or the States be very different if they left their clothes behind them — I mean if they wore clothes like ours ! Of course you may say that we grovel because of the general splendour of their attire, their brocades, and furs, coral buttons and velvet boots, and that the P'utzu is only part of a sartorial magnificence which makes us feel ridiculous, and behave like poor relations, in their company. Well, that might be a point for argument with people who have never lived in China, but out here it certainly won't wash. Think it out for yourselves, I say, and you'll soon come to see that the theory of strong hypnotic emanations from the P'utzu is the only one that accounts for the extraordinary behaviour of Europeans in dealing with Chinese officials. You've all felt an unaccountable flabbiness, a tendency to self-abasement and idiotic antics in the presence of Chinese officials — men that you often knew for no better than they ought to be, or 148 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA than yourselves ; you've tried to get over it or to account for it, and you've failed. But just make those same literary prodigies take their coats off and you'll understand where the trouble lay. A good many swaggering fathers and mothers of the people would be underground if they did business in their shirt sleeves, or whatever a Chinaman wears under his illustrated cover. Take any case that occurs to you — a riot compensation claim, a lekin squeeze, or a land case. We know all about them. The foreign press make a fuss, vengeance is vowed, and the air is thick with all the trouble that's goin^ to happen. Then a special Deputy is appointed to discuss matters with the Consul. You know what happens after that ; every one of you has got the performance in his mind's eye. Down comes a Taotai or a Fantai, waddling in the plethoric fat of professional wickedness, a creature whose * squeezing ' is the talk of half a province, and whose only education consists in having learned by heart a lot of poppy- cock and then forgotten it. This monstrous survival of barbarism, who couldn't answer the questions of a kinder- garten class, comes to discuss the case with the representative of Western civilisation, with a man who very possibly can boast of generations of educated and God-fearing ancestors behind him — and what happens .'' Old Hung Wu's necromancy comes out on top every time. That poor foredoomed Consul fixes his eye on the malevolent P'utzu bird and the game's up ; he becomes an incoherent, postur- ing automaton, feebly imitating the foolishness of Chinese social etiquette, meekly listening to the sleek Confucianist's HYPNOTIC INFLUENCE OF THE P'UTZU 149 farrago of twaddle and bluff, forgetting everything except the unholy fascination of the P'utzu. Of course, as in all cases of hypnotism, the effect is greater on some minds than on others. With women, and Frenchmen, and sinologues, it amounts to mental collapse ; children and dogs, on the other hand, are comparatively immune. But I don't think I have ever met a case of a white man who could face a P'utzu and preserve all his self- respect ; the subtle influence of the thing invariably compels him to appear more or less overpowered by the Yellow Peril's condescension — to walk mincingly, drink vile champagne, and quote inane phrases from the Kuan Hua Chih Nan. And, mind you, the effect is permanent ; once the eye of the P'utzu bird has entered a man's soul, he is mentally crippled for life. Which explains why you often hear respectable men, otherwise sane, loudly boasting of their intimacy with Chinese officials, as if they had achieved something wonderful. I do not say, you will observe, that every mandarin is necessarily either a rogue or untruthful — the unexpected still happens. Heaven be praised ! — but the pernicious in- fluence of the P'utzu is the same, no matter what may be the character of the man behind it, and it reduces the European mind to a state of gelatinous subserviency. Cast your memory back over a few of the cases you have known, where the white man has come forth with all the righteous indignation of a just cause, and collapsed ignominiously for no apparent reason. Not to go too far back, think of the 1900 Protocol with the victorious troops CUSTOMS LIBRARY I50 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA in the streets of Peking and their diplomatic representa- tives confronting a lot of P'utzu-plastered Boxers. You know the result. Think of Sir James Mackay and Jenks, and Sir Robert Hart and Teddy Roosevelt — I could quote a hundred more, — all the men whose great minds and good intentions have lately wilted under the baneful eye of Hung Wu's black-art birds ! One of the most remarkable cases I ever saw myself was at the funeral of the Viceroy Lui K'un-yi at Nanking. There were eleven Powers represented on that occasion, represented by Consuls in cocked hats and civil dignitaries of all sorts, with a fine assortment of naval and military officers — a show that would have been quite imposing in any European capital, but which, in the streets of Nanking, looked magnificently out of place. I assure you when we mustered at the Yamen, surrounded by thousands of squalid natives and all the tawdry pomp of a Chinese funeral, it was one of those international displays that one only sees in the Far East ; and there were some white men there who had handled affairs and men all over the world with credit to themselves and their countries. Well, first of all we filed past the sorrowing relatives. They were in white sackcloth — no P'utzus about — and that part of the ceremony was dignified and impressive with a certain patriarchal quality of its own. Later on, however, when the cortege was formed, and especially in the evening, when a banquet was given, the P'utzus were let loose on that ill-fated band of representatives, and the rout was complete. I don't think I ever saw anything quite so ludicrous and humihat- HYPNOTIC INFLUENCE OF THE P'UTZU 151 ing. Chang Chih-tung was in the middle, with a golden pheasant on his chest, receiving obeisances, and the havoc that necromatic fowl made of the cocked hats and epaulettes was appalling. But every P'utzu had a foreigner or two fol- lowing it, as Trilby followed Svengali. I got entangled in the suite of a silver pheasant myself, with an Austrian captain and a German Vice-Consul. {Here follows a description of several historic instances illustrative of the author s theory.) Having discovered a truth, the next thing is to apply it — and here the application is obvious. All we've got to do is to arrange that the Waiwupu and all provincial officials doing business with foreigners shall henceforth be persuaded to wear frock-coats and top-hats. We might give them back all the Boxer indemnity to buy a complete modern outfit, and it would be cheap at the price. If, deterred by the sight of the Japanese in European clothes, they kick at frock-coats, let them choose their own style and their own patterns — but the P'utzu ought to go. Of course, as I said before, diplomatists will laugh at this, but sooner or later some one with less prejudice or more sense than the rest will mve it a trial. And the Consul who first makes a mandarin do business with his coat off will never let him put it on again. Until then, we shall all go on shouting aimlessly into space, ignoring the cause of all our failures ; and not until the simple truth is realised will any of our Treaties be of the slightest use. Perhaps it will never be realised — there's nothing so conservative as diplomacy, nor so unwilling to listen to anything outside of its own traditions. In that case the ^. 152 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA P'utzu will swagger down the corridors of time, for ever getting in its deadly work on the unsuspecting foreigner. If so, I would support, as an alternative remedy, the pro- posal of my friend M'Alpine of the Scotch Colporteur Society, an eminently practical man. He recommends re- placing the present expensive and ineffective Diplomatic Body by an ingeniously constructed set of clockwork figures with appropriate gestures, phonographic apparatus, and uniforms complete. The set of twelve (of best materials), in charge of a Scotch engineer (himself, I think), to be worked at a total cost of not more than ;/^3000 a year, the figures to be taken to the Waiwupu free of charge, singly or collectively according to political emergencies, at least once a week, and the interviews duly recorded and preserved. On this interesting suggestion Mr. M^Alpine will read a paper at the Society's next meeting. (^Here the author goes off into missionary topics of no general interest.") CHAPTER XIII " Now may we Be each as one that leaves his midnight task And throws his casement open ; and the air Comes up across the lowlands from the sea." The Sea Gypsy. OWARDS the end of November the devout lover of houseboats, his appetite keenly whetted with brief excursions into the nearer hunting-grounds, sets about him to devise ways and means for a cruise of two or three weeks. The matter is by no means simple : first, there is the question of leave, the pacifying of taipans and the goodwill of Penelope, left to face her household cares alone at a time when these are not of the lightest. With M'Nab, for instance, it is an ever- recurring grievance that the best of the shooting comes pre- cisely at that season when his olive branches naturally expect him to play a central part in the preparations for 153 154 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA Christmas, and the ingenuity with which he compromises with Mrs. M'Nab and his conscience does equal credit to his heart and head. With the Major, untrammelled by domesticity, and enjoying large opportunities of furlough, the question is simple ; all he needs is to find two or three congenial souls and to agree upon the route. So also with Thurlsby — whose gentlemanly calling Insists that litigation shall cease while he rests at the appointed seasons. On these two I can therefore generally reckon. For myself. It has happily been established and recognised that these three weeks devoted to the pursuit of health are absolutely necessary to restore the ravages of protracted brain-work, and the matter has long since passed beyond the regions of official or domestic discussion. I believe my wife has told Mrs. Wllden that I always come back from these trips vastly improved In temper and cheerfulness, and she went so far as to suggest that this might be equally beneficial to Mr. Wllden. As Wllden Is notoriously restrained from junketings and jaunts by a velvet hand in an iron glove, I don't suppose the suggestion did much good. Anyhow, when the Major and I invited him to join us last year, he agreed readily enough, and two days later cried off on the plea of pidgin. I told him to promise Mrs. Wllden that we would be back the day before Christmas, and advised seasonable lar- gesse in advance — but to no purpose. It was against him, no doubt, that the year before he had spent Christmas day somewhere up the Pen-yii creek with a jovial crowd instead of In the bosom of his family, and his story about being stopped by a block of rafts had failed to bring him absolution. PREPARATIONS FOR A GRAND SORTIE 155 For nearly a month Thurlsby, the Major, and I had talked over the coming trip, casting about for an eligible fourth and discussing our destination. In this way one can get a good deal out of a trip long before it begins. With a map of the country, a tin of Craven mixture, and liquid re- freshment a discretion^ I know of few pleasanter ways of spending an evening Whole worlds of hope lie before you, the joys of anticipation keener than those of memory are yours ; while, at the touch of imagination, the unknown lands ahead grow rose-coloured and alluring. First of all there is the choice of the shooting-ground ; next, the plan of campaign, which includes division of duties, commissariat, and equipment. To any one who knows any- thing of houseboats and the idiosyncrasies of those who travel in them, I need hardly say that in these topics alone lies matter for endless argument between habitues and friends — argument profitable and pleasing enough as a pas- time, but futile in the matter of any definite conclusion. We certainly had come to none, after four specially-devised symposia, not to mention much desultory talk at street corners and in the Club bar. Take, for instance, the choice of ground. Thurlsby, with the solemn manner which he brings to bear on questions wherein opinions may differ even when they involve no points of law, would spread the map out before him and invite our serious attention. Now Thurlsby has one or two special weaknesses up country. One is, that if ever he has found decent shooting — it may have been ten years ago — in any spot he wants to go back there regardless of the 156 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA fact that game has its migrations, and that to give a place a good name is enough, in these days, to clean it out. Then, too, he is partial to his creature comforts — his well- appointed cabin and the enamelled bath with hot and cold water laid on — and deprecates exchanging the Heart's Desire for the uncertainties of any native craft. All of which means that, keen sportsman though he be, Thurlsby's choice of a hunting-ground is apt to be limited by these faiblesses. As for Jim, his Celtic temperament inclines him to listen eagerly to every man's Munchausen tales, and his views vary therefore with perplexing rapidit}^ On two points only is he definite — tvvo things he wants — a rubber of " bridge " after dinner and a reasonable prospect of bamboo partridge ; these things granted, he amicably accepts all other conclusions. As for me, I confess to a disposition for pastures new, and especially for hill country. I long for the broken sky-line, mountain sides purple at dusk, sunlight and shadow, and the song of murmuring waters in the glens ; I want a change from the mud-flat land of Kiangsu, with its everlasting paddy fields and creeks, its kitchen-garden cultivation, its interminable vista of graves and sheltered hamlets, each an exact reproduction of all the others. So that, when it comes to the grand sortie, I vote stoutly for the hill country of Chekiang. It was a week before the start, and we had found neither the fourth man nor our marching route, when a god came to us from a machine, a globe-trotter from the P. and O. — Lambton to wit, who gravitated to our party as naturally as woman to a mirror. He seemed to come to us out of space, PREPARATIONS FOR A GRAND SORTIE 157 heaven-sentj unto this appointed end, one of those earth- wandering Esaus that only the Anglo-Saxon race produces, and in twenty-four hours he was running the whole business with the indisputable authority of an old campaigner. He had just come from tiger-shooting in Siam, and was on his way to look for Reeves' and golden pheasants in the upper Yangtsze — but he took in our picnic as epicures take an olive between champagne and claret. That he had never shot bamboo partridge was reason enough for joining us. He had brought a letter of introduction to Jim from a brother-warrior in the Straits, which told of great shikar with seladang, and asked Jim to put him on to something good. So Jim, after a discreet and satisfactory inquiry about bridge, put him on to us. In five minutes the party was complete. We dined together that night, the map was produced with the smokes, and in half an hour our plans were settled. Thurlsby was eloquent in praise of Huchow and the Meichee country, Jim told us stories of big bags that had just come down from a party at Chinkiang, and rumours of some marvellous great deer in the hills near Tatung — but Lamb- ton, looking at the map with an unbiassed eye, pronounced for the Chientang river. Were there not deer and pig in the hills, wild-fowl and geese on the broad stream, pheasant and partridge in the valleys .'' I had some photographs of the upper reaches, and these, combined with Lambton's opinion, converted the K.C. before we got to our second whisky. To-morrow, with the Heart's Desire looming up reproachfully on his mental horizon, he would, no doubt, have misgivings ; but to-night, as we discussed the hiring of CUST 158 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA boats, and many devices therein for dogs and men, he became enthusiastic. So the start was fixed ; Jim, by reason of his bachelor state, having the freedom of his cook, was appointed commissariat officer ; Thurlsby agreed to supply and equip eight picked beaters, and to arrange for boats and towage to Hano^chow ; Lambton, having time to spare, was to look after the liquor supply, ammunition, and general requisites ; while I, boasting the acquaintance of a junk company's manager on the Chientang, undertook to engage the river- boats, and arrange for porterage from the Grand Canal through Hangchow city to the river. So the plan of campaign was laid, and, as we four stolid Britons sat yarning over the map, Jim's unromantic dining- room was filled with the sorcery of the silent places of which we spoke, the sights and sounds of the great outdoor world. Stirred into mysterious life at the sight of a few familiar names, red lines and blue blotches on a clumsy map, the magic alchemy of memory summoned within those four walls a thousand echoes from the past — ours were the keen unsullied air of hills that guide blue waters to the sea, shimmer of morning sunlight on fields bejewelled with gossamer ; shouts of beaters in the copses, where fir and bamboo gather to harmonious shades ; heavy scent of bracken, where pheasants lie close at mid-day, — a scent which for me always brings a swift message of autumn- tinted English cliffs, and a boy ferreting gleefully, amidst the tall ferns, for ever and ever. Ours were joys of prowess in bygone days — not diminished by lapse of time — chances and strange happenings of the chase, with PREPARATIONS FOR A GRAND SORTIE 159 many opinions and inventions. Some of Thurlsby's stories we knew of old, but Lambton had not heard them, and there is an etiquette of restraint on such occasions which we observed. So we wandered in fancy over the land, the blithe call of the wild in our ears, slaying once more the ghostly birds and beasts of past sorties with much content. That Lambton had stories to tell we knew, but to-night he was sternly practical — note-book in hand he insisted on solid information and cold facts, leading us firmly but gently from our hills of fancy to the Chientang river. So Jim and I got out the log-book of a trip two years ago — a trip where the bag of geese had been so heavy that we ceased from pursuing them — and he took down the dates and figures as stolidly as a broker takes quotations. Then he inquired tenderly after our tastes and habits in the matter of drink, recording them carefully and without that criticism which the matter invited. Finally, he noted our various suggestions as to general impedimenta, of the things each man should bring and those to be bought or hired. Between Thurlsby's boudoir apartment and Jim's barrack-room notions he struck a happy medium, adding some sensible ideas from his own stock, so that under his masterful hand order and precision gradually took form and substance out of chaos. The man was a Kitchener, wasted by accident of birth and patrimony — a specimen of the resourceful practical type of Briton that finds and founds our Colonies, or wanders into the uttermost places of the earth — men usually lost to service of the Empire by reason of the stereotyped futility of our military and political systems. i6o HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA Jim had got some patent barrack gear from the stores in the autumn, dodgy, collapsible devices of strange forms ; things that posed as card-tables and arm-chairs by day, and promised to become washstands or beds by night ; also a rubber bath that folded itself into a cardboard case no bigger than a map. They were all Wolseley's, or French's, or Buller's, and Jim was certain that they were just the thing for boat furniture. Also he had a field tent — two men's load — which was sure to come in handy somehow. Lambton wasn't enthusiastic about these triumphs of military ingenuity, and I noticed that his list of gear included things that implied want of faith, but he said the tent would be very useful as an overall for the boat in case of bad weather ; for the rest, he thought you could knock up nearly all the necessary fittings of a boat with a few planks and some rope. Jim smiled in a tired sort of way, and said we'd be very grateful for his gear before the trip was over. Thurlsby, impartial and superior, merely observed that he would bring his own camp-bed, and could sit on it in case of need ; and suggested a couple of tin bath-trunks as convenient things for carrying dog biscuits. Last came the official list of dogs, and Lambton must have had some doubts as to the prospects of the chase if he believed all the things we said about our own and each other's kennels. The K.C. believes in Shuster, his thick-set German pointer, as he does in Magna Charta, and when Jim began by asking him if he was going to bring his sausage- dog, there was a brief and brilliant exchange of courtesies. Lambton, upon our better acquaintance, showed me the PREPARATIONS FOR A GRAND SORTIE i6i entry in his note-book recording his impressions of the dog inventory, as freely stated. It read thus : — Mr. Thurlsby's "Shuster" — German pointer — steady worker — requires to be carried home in a basket. Same owner's " Di " — setter — good at quail, but prefers working covert with the beaters. The Major's " Peter " — spaniel — fat and wheezy — alleged cure of recent attack of mange not generally credited. Same owner's " Damit " — Irish setter — generally works out of range — keen on domestic poultry. Same owner's " Pat " — Irish retriever — addicted to fig-htino; — good at water and does not eat wild-fowl. Mr. Phil Marsden's " Rocket." — half-breed pointer — suffers from dysentery — partially deaf, but generally finds his own way to the boat. Same owner's "Nelly" — pointer — good on partridge, but prefers retrieving sticks or stones. Same owner's " Rex " — spaniel — fast and independent in covert — when following deer or hare generally lost for some hours. "You fellows need all your own dogs," he said, "and I'd rather not borrow any of them. But if you know of any one who's got a couple of decent animals that I could beg or hire, just a spare beast or two in case of accidents, I'd go round and have a look at them." Jim knew several — two that belonged to a police inspector, and Wilden's brace of spaniels — all very useful. Then there was Willoughby's retriever, not half a bad dog when you got into his ways. " Isn't that the dog Willoughby lent to Major Appleton last year," asked the K.C., "the one he sent back by river steamer from Wuhu without apologies or thanks } " "Ay, that's the dog. But Willoughby had forgotten M l62 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA to mention his little peculiarities. He was a very good dog in some ways, but he had an irresistible penchant for tame ducks, so that Willoughby generally had to lead him on a chain through villages in the creek country. Ignorance of this fact cost Appleton four dollars and a good deal of trouble on the very first morning, for old Bos — that was his name — got into a large flock, and brought in six before they collared him. Then, too, he was a good retriever, but as jealous as a woman, and would fight any other dog that tried to bring in a bird an^^where near him. Appleton said he hadn't come up country to go off by himself every day, so the end of it was that the poor beast was shipped back in disgrace. All the same, as dogs go, I've seen worse." " Bos isn't in the picture," said Lambton. " I wouldn't mind the duck mania so much, but a fighter isn't curable in one trip. Never mind, I think we shall do with the lot we've got, and if not we can beat up another couple by advertising." So, after solemnly drinking success to the trip, we made our way homewards through silent streets, infinitely superior to their material world of go-downs and sordid trades. Before us lay the wide prospect of the Chientang river, its snow-tipped hills and pleasant valleys. We could afford to be sorry for these pitiful cit}^-dwellers, and to wish for them a better measure of wisdom. 1-^, TOTHECHIENTANCRIVER- CHAPTER XIV " Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the the sun." — Ecclesiastes. eyes to behold BRIGHT frosty night early in December, the soft influences of the Pleiades and belted Orion shining out a welcome and a promise ; a pale new moon dropping swiftly to the horizon, her silver song faint in the glorious shouting of the stars, and on the river a whispering north wind, filling the sails of ghostly junks. Across and far down the stream the blue and yellow lights of the long water-front ; behind us, the Bond with its pulsating traffic of humanity, great houses, with their thousand eyes like an encircling line, guarding the human ant-heap of the Settlements. This was the picture as we foregathered at dinner-time to the boats. The Hearfs Desire lay moored to the jetty, nose up stream ; through her cabin windows a glimpse of the dinner-table, of which Thurlsby is so justly proud, in the air a gently- tickling odour of baked meats, heart-warming harbingers of 163 1 64 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA good things to come. Beyond her lay the Saucy Jane^ her upper deck laden with the Major's camp-kit and the commissariat ; her fo'castle resounding with hideous turmoil of dogs, in which the voice of Pat, ever belligerent, grew shriller as the coolies intervened. And beyond the Saucy Jane lay the launch, sturdily puffing huge clouds of Japanese smoke to warm itself for the run to Hangchow, 140 miles away. And so, when the Major has bidden an affectionate (though duly nonchalant) farewell to Miss Betty, when the last instructions have been given, and Thurlsby's boy in a bustling ricksha has brought the last consignment of things forgotten, the cry is " all aboard." A little knot of Nancy Lees and brother-sportsmen stand to wish us god-speed and good-luck ; their waving hats and handkerchiefs pass swiftly into the night as we glide out upon the river. And then we stand awhile at the bows, the nipping, eager air tingling in our veins, and watch the lights go by, listening to the glad music of rushing water, tasting the fine savour of the night, revelling like schoolboys in the prospect of the days before us. Thus, no doubt, the World strikes a * ticket-of-leave-man ' on his first morning out. Begone dull care for three immortal weeks ! No more, for one-and-twenty blissful days, of bricks and mortar, of soul -sapping routine or Society's anaemic conventions. Back now to the land, to man's forfeited estate of freedom ; whither neither ' chit coolies ' nor Reuter's teleo-rams can follow, where the slings and arrows of outrageous pidgin cannot assail us. For the next three weeks let the whole TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 165 fabric of civilisation be shattered and totter to its doom ; it is naught to us. Let Wales beat Scotland at football, China reabolish corruption by Imperial Edicts, Roosevelt pro- pound once more the ridiculous equality of all men, and the House of Lords rush headlong to its fate — we shall not know or care. In the World, but not of it, henceforth until we see the smoke of the Settlements again ; and at the thought, in my mind's eye, I catch a glimpse of the uncounted miUions out yonder who live and die happily unconscious of all the earth-shaking matters that so greatly perturb us. But Jim is singing lustily a Berserker song ; this is no time or place for philosophy : so to dinner and port wine and bridge, and then, over sociable reminiscent pipes, perhaps a night-cap or two, for to-morrow will be a day of idleness. Of the journey to Hangchow I will not tell, for it is told in the books of the Globe-trotters. All night and all day we steamed through the rich river-lands of Kiangsu, the rice and mulberry country of Chekiang, through the close-packed narrow waterways of Kazay and Kashing, down the long reaches of the Grand Canal, whose time-defying masonry speaks of glories long departed ; through villages pulsating with life ; past forlorn places, where the ghosts of Taipings and Imperial * braves ' walk unappeased, seeking their tombs ; ancient walled cities, silent as their dead. In the Tamen Creek, a famous hunting-ground in the days before the great plain was reclaimed, we went ashore, to still the growing clamour of the kennels and to stretch our legs. A two hours' walk along the banks, the pack ranging wide 1 66 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IX CHINA and free, accounted for five pheasants, a brace of partridge, three hares, and a Mandarin drake, so that Thurlsby located the spot (by the numbers on the telegraph poles) for future visitations. Thus, with a sense of virtue, we came before midnight to the Hangchow setdement (that triumph of the Chinese mind over Japanese matter), and anchored on the farther side, remote from the wrangling of junk masters and the barking of the pariahs that frequent the landing- place by the Custom House. And in the morning, before the first stirring of life on the Saucy Jane, there appeared a button -tipped emissary of my friend the junk manager, announcing that all was ready. Next, from the Heart's Desire came the voice of Lambton, denouncing sloth and giving orders for the trek ; so, having roused the denisons of pantry and kitchen from their lairs, I turned my attention to the serious task of getting Jim out of his bunk. For an easy-going man the Major shows particular obstinacy on this question of getting up ; in the absence of bugles and other helps to military discipline he revels in luxurious ease, like any merveilleuse. From the blanketed depths of his chrysalis state he likes to discuss comfortably the ethics and philosophy of early rising, expounding the nothingness of time and the foolishness of haste, while, with the contemplative eye of an alligator, he watches the preparations for breakfast ; and, because misery likes company, the sound of his contented gruntings, while I shiver over my shaving, becomes a cause of offence. In the matter of arguments and ingenious excuses he has become, from long practice, so expert that discussion is a TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 167 burden ; I have long since exhausted all the subtle devices by which a man may be artfully lured from his bunk. Dog- fights on deck and reports of duck ahead he ignores ; shots fired on the bank move him only to mild inquiries as to their results, while In altercations with natives or the crew he gives me carte blanche to act for him, proffering sleepy suggestions. If the weather be fine he will generally unroll himself as the savour of coffee comes from the pantry, but on rainy mornings vigorous measures are necessary. To let the camp-bed down suddenly by one end disturbs the chrysalis ; thereafter, cold water applied to the unpro- tected parts induces life and movement. Lethargy leaves him with the bed-clothes ; protesting prodigious plans of activity, he carols like a lark to the sound of splashing waters ; and at breakfast, which he eats with his loins girded up, he will ask you to observe that he is ready before every one else and expatiate on the wisdom of taking things calmly. Next morning, da capo ; so that the daily raising of this military wreck becomes a business of stratagems and much thought. I tried once to shame him to a sense of the selfish wickedness of sloth, but the result was disappointing. Jim's exculpatory theory is that a fellow should never get up until the other has done dress- ing ; otherwise, he says, you get in each other's way, and then both snap and growl, not meaning to be nasty, of course, but because the chill hasn't been taken off things. So he sacrifices and effaces himself while I take the chill offl On the occasion In question, however, my own particular virtue of activity was disinclined to assert Itself, 1 68 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA because of an unmistakable lethargy of the legs begotten of a long and empty-handed tramp the day before. Probably it was lack of vitality that disposed me for once to resent Jim's arguments as things of monstrous injustice. So when the boy had brought tea and let in the light of day, I pro- claimed the equalit)' of all men on houseboats and my intention to give him precedence in dressing and the dog- walk on the bank. Jim's interest was aroused to an extent rarely induced at this time of day ; he rolled over, swathing himself more tightly in the blankets, and seemed to be really relishing the flavour of this new and original idea. No doubt his legs were also reluctant to move, and so, firmly declining to assume a position which he described as mine by usage, merit, seniority, and special qualifications, he proceeded to argue the matter for an hour, at the end of which time he became gradually incoherent, and finally dropped off again to profound sleep. I did the same — and at tiffin-time we compromised by getting up together. Jim said it was one of the best mornings' sport he had had — and the result of it is that he now enjoys uncontested right of eminent domain of his bunk until I have taken the chill off. Curious, when you come to think of it, how great a part in this absurd life of ours is spent in getting ready for bed and then getting out of it again ; how, with one accord, when the light has gone out of the day, poor tailor-made humanity must drop all its buzzing business and chances of joy, must strip off all its brave trappings and wrappings and creep between white sheets of oblivion. That every time TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 169 this planet revolves, we must rehearse, each for himself, the great mystery of silence that lies beyond ; this, 1 say, is a wonderful thing. For I can imagine a world peopled with forked radishes very like ourselves, all of whose little days should be given to the uninterrupted fulfilment of the purposes of existence (whatever they may be), who would not need to be wound up over every twenty-four hours by this soft-handed brother of Death. A world without beds or pillows, or weariness or waking, seems to me as properly conceivable for the temporary home of intelligent puppets as this whirling absurdity in which each creature exists by eating its fellows. All our fine writing about sleep, our reveries and croon-songs and berceuses^ all this chorus of gratitude for oblivion, makes really a very pretty indict- ment of the scheme of things created, and I, for one, admit to a sneaking sympathy and admiration for that Baltimore lady who, having realised that going to bed is an inevitable part of our ludicrous existence, decided to simplify matters by remaining there for the rest of her days. This is at least logical, whereas Jim's attitude is simply irritating. On this occasion, however, under the stern hand of Lambton, he made but little argument — our pet domestic weaknesses have a horror of strangers — so that, before the sun had raised the edge of the soft white veil lying on the paddy fields, we were having breakfast, with a pandemonium of packing raging from stem to stern. And wherever the fray was thickest, wherever dogs and men and shapeless masses of gear were inextricably mixed, thither came Lambton, and chaos melted before him. Even Jim, survey- lyo HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA ing the turmoil from a safe seat on the ice-box, was pleased to express approval. Getting to Hangchow city by water (there is no land route) affords a very typical object lesson of the ways for which our Celestial friends are peculiar. In any other country the provincial capital would either have been built at the end of the Grand Canal, or if, because of ancient necromancy, it had to be miles away, there would at least be a road wide enough for cart traffic. But at the back of the Chinese economical system lies the hoary axiom that the way- farer is common prey, the trader lawful plunder, so that communication with a great city is arranged chiefly with a view to the levelling of successive squeezes on merchandise and man. (Which, by the way, was the reason why, until the Boxers made their upheaval, the Peking Railway stopped five miles outside the gates, why other railways will stop short of many other places, and why steam navigation is dis- couraged on inland waters ; for which dull matters consult the works of traveUing M.P.'s.). And so it is not so easy to get to Hangchow even by water, for at the end of the Grand Canal you must unload everything into small boats, owned and controlled by pre- datory tribes, which boats, with all their contents, are pulled over rough locks, by other birds of prey, to narrow water- ways beyond. Whether you take this route depends a good deal on the weather, and on what part of the great straggling city you want to reach — the alternative being that you and your belongings are carried from the Kung Chen bridge by human beasts of burden through an interminable wilderness 1, a. 171 172 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA of smelly streets. So narrow and so ingeniously strewn with obstacles are these slimy purlieus that no vehicle, not even the degi»jnerate ricksha of Nanking, could ply there. And so, all day long, an endless chain of coolies comes and goes on the stone-paved alley-way that connects the outer world with Hangchow (Messer Marco Polo's " City of Heaven "), poor staggering derelicts, doing in their thousands the work of one locomotive, because a thousand lives are worth less than a donkey- engine in the Flowery Kingdom. My friend the junk manager had arranged for our kit to go on by small boats as far as possible, and thence to the Chientang river by porters ; for us there were sedan-chairs, flimsy things covered with shiny green cloth, whose attendant scarecrows, three to each, were waiting for us on the bank. By ten o'clock the last motley cargo of coolies, dogs, and impedimenta, had " On the tonu-pathr started. Ah Kong and Gehazi bringing up the rear, and as we mustered on the Customs jetty, the Saucy Jane and the Heart's Desire turned their noses towards Shanghai and slowly disappeared. Thurlsby said he realised what marooned people must feel, and commented critically on the appearance of every native boat in sight. Also, at the hybrid shop near the bridge, where a Cantonese retails the things which * foreign devils ' eat and drink, he bought TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 173 several tins of Keating's, with the air of one who intends to meet his fate as a gallant gentleman should. The entire population of the Hangchow settlement turned out to see us start, as to a festival. The crowd was not oppressive, consisting of seven Europeans, one Japanese lady, and two melancholy-looking dogs, but it was hospitable after the manner of all the remote places where white men exist to teach the Chinese the hard lesson of honest adminis- tration. They gave us drinks, offered us all manner of assistance and good advice, begged us to stay a day or two and try the shooting near the Settlement, and asked about every one they knew from Canton to Corea. When, driven by Lambton, we eventually started, they stood in a brave little group and cheered. And my mind went back in- stinctively to Mark Tapley and the thriving city of Eden. There is something more than a resemblance to that delectable city "as it appeared on paper," in the foreign Settlements devised by the Chinese since their war with Japan in 1894 : the plan is identical, from the laying-out of broad roads that lead nowhere to the sale of town-lots where no town can ever be. Hangchow is perhaps the most interesting example of that form of political activity which the Chinese Government has devised, in these latter days, to adjust the clamorous views of the patriots to the necessities and rapacities of the Button'd man. And when one remembers that the city {entre autres) was opened to the trade and residence of foreign merchants, as part of the pur- chase price of peace, fourteen years ago, the actual result as it confronts one to-day is not without a certain humorous CUSTOMS LIRRARY 174 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA quality. It is a quality which no longer appeals to the enterprising individuals whose names adorn the boundary stones, standing like sentries at the corners of these melancholy swamps, individuals who, by the eye of faith, saw here a new Shanghai and paid for the land accordingly, but it is there all the same. To the Mandarin, riding snug in his sedan-chair, the result of these activities of the foreign devil must be a subtle jest, of very delicate flavour. Come with your armies, your consuls, your missionaries, and your machines ; bombard us and destroy, and go your ways with more solemn treaties, if you will — and behold the result ! There lie the marshes, familiar haunt of the heron, as they lay on the day when Nieh Chih Kuei congratulated the Japanese (and himself) on the assured prosperity of the new trade-centre. The much-vaunted roads, proof of local municipal good faith, can still be traced by the lighter green of their rank grass ; quail and hare use them gladly as basking-grounds on sunny days. In addition to its crop of boundary stones, the Settlement boasts the usual public buildings necessary to the complete isolation and repose of the foreign trader. First, there is the Custom House, surrounded by quarters for the staff, ungainly structures that loudly assert the presence of the white men and remind Young China of that birthright of well-paid billets which shall presently be the reward of patriotism. Seen thus, flaunting their bold chimneys and curveless lines in derision of all ^ feng-shui^ these excres- cences are instinct with the challenge of nonconformity. In the city, hushed up in crowded streets, they might have been \ TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 175 forgiven, but here, conspicuous against the bleak back- ground, they simply proclaim to every junk-man on the river, to every farmer in the fields, the message of those ways which are not as the ancient ways of this people. Setting art and fitness aside, it is always a matter for wonder to me that our missionaries and merchants have been unable to live in something less aggressive than the dwellings they erect in inland places. All of which is a useless digression. Beyond the Custom House is a police station, another proof of Chinese activity on Model Settlement lines — the fact that there is no population to police being a matter of secondary importance. There is a European Superintendent and a squad of native constables who mournfully parade the water-front, accepting their uneventful, useless profession with Oriental stolidity. Finally, at the corner of the Settlement nearest the city, whence all its teeming trade must pass to and from the city, there stands a building within whose unpretentious walls lurk mighty forces, the Lekin office to wit. Here, in the hands of mild, goggled shupan and elusive runners, works the vast noiseless machinery which throttles trade from Harbin to Hainan ; one tentacle of the insatiable octopus that battens on all merchandise that travels by land or by water, enormous, unassailable, defying all weapons and words of diplomacy. Of the secret parts of this machinery we Europeans know as little to-day as we knew forty years ago ; of the collection and divisions of the spoil we shall remain complacently ignorant to the end. Wherever it is to the interest of the Celestial system that we should remain unenlightened, there are we surrounded with 176 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA darkness impenetrable ; no better proof of this than the recent solemn discussion and restoring of lekin-abolition in our Treaties. All we know of this thing is its result : we see it throttling one trade staple after another, we see its rapacities extending, and we know that neither by railways, inland navigation, nor any other subtle device of the white men can those rapacities be checked, for lekin will only die with the passing of the Mandarin. And those people who talk hopefully of conference and commutations, of the Mackay Treaty, and Professors of Political Economy in Peking — well, may they live to see their dream come true. For the time being, the foreign merchant, enjoying by Treaty the benefits of trade and residence in this provincial capital of Chekiang, must be content to dwell in the marsh- land set aside for him where, so long as the police and lekin stations do their duty", no Chinese trader will ever come to disturb him. Thirty-seven years ago it was recorded in one of the white man's paper victories that the area of the Settle- ments was exempt from lekin, and many a paper batde has since been waged to maintain that position. This modest little station on the edge of the Hangchow is the last word of China on the subject ; as for ours, you may see it across the river yonder, the house where a British Consul lived during the foolish days of hope, and until realisation of this subtle joke enabled the Treasury to effect another laudable economy by removing him.^ And the same grim jest has been perpetrated with equal success in every one of the newer Treaty Ports, so that, good reader, when next it is 1 He has lately gone back there — another joke. TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 177 triumphantly announced in the House of Commons that Fat Sham or Ping Pong-foo has been opened to trade, by reason of the efforts of the Liberal (or Conservative) Government, you will understand this to mean that unhealthy spots have been set apart for the foreigner — commercial isolation camps — at a convenient distance from these enlightened cities, in which, under no circumstances, will he be permitted to buy or sell. And yet there are people who profess to see no humour in politics ! I was discussing these things with Jim, wherever the traffic allowed of conversation, as we trudged the first mile or two towards the city. He takes but faint interest in the murkier problems of Chinese economics, but a ■propos of lekin, he told me of one of his former pupils, a philosophical young warrior who, in due season, ran to fat and conceived a strong distaste for lethal weapons and the possibility of going to his grave for any phantasy or trick of fame. So he discarded the arts of war, acquired a pretty Soochow girl en secondes noces^ and got himself appointed to one of the lekin stations on the Quinsan route. There Jim saw him, long-gowned, begoggled, growing pumpkins on a trellis, studying the classics by night, and the art of squeezing by day ; living by the water-side in a ramshackle place, half- yam^n, half-harem, amidst a perpetual wrangle of boatmen, runners, dogs, and the general public — and all on the princely salary of 30 dollars a month. " It was a rum thing to find him there," said Jim, " for all the world like a bit out of Analects, with * Buddha's fingers ' on the table, and a bird-cage over his front door ; because only two years N 178 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA before he had been a fiery reformer sort of fellow, with his pig-tail under a Japanese cap and braided trousers — but I suppose the classical instinct is latent in their system, like cat-hunting in a terrier." " Yes," I said, " it's wonderful how quick the Western- learning species reverts to the Confucian type — there's no Conservative so bigoted as your converted Radical. Did he tell you anything about the economics of lekin ? " " Not exactly — but when I asked him how he liked the job, and what were its prospects, he led me to infer that they were something better than those of a military man, apart from the fact, grateful to his philosophic soul, that he now runs no chance of perishing untimely for other people's foolish ideas. What he said was * that it wasn't the salary, but the income ' that made the attractions of a lekin station." * Not the salary, but the income ' — a neat way of sum- ming up the hoary system which China invented (like every- thing else) centuries ago, and which American Mayors have now adopted with the necessary modern improvements. 'Tis a good word. Walking on flagstones, slippery with immemorial slime, through narrow streets (where tubs of fish, piles of vegetables and old clothes encroach upon the right of way) did not appeal to Thurlsby as congenial exercise, and when a dog, bolting from a pork-shop, ran between his legs, he gave it up and we took to the chairs. By a succession of miracles we reached the city without killing any of the old women and children upon whom our coolies rushed with blood-curdling TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 179 noises, and in a little while we came upon the rear-guard of our transport, a tatterdemalion sitting placidly by the road- side with one of Jim's patent convertible articles slung on one end of a pole, and a bag of dog-biscuits on the other. A little farther on we saw Thurlsby's dogs ingeniously moored to our kitchen stove outside a wine-shop, flanked by a mis- cellaneous assortment of bedding and provender ; and for the next hour the flotsam and jetsam of our porterage greeted us, lending a certain home-like and familiar aspect to street corners and tea-houses. Jim, anxious for his Lares, said he felt like sailing through wreckage. Lambton, whose com- missariat instincts were outraged by this casual procession of our goods, was for collecting and driving the stragglers before us ; with difficulty I persuaded him not to hustle the East. The methods of Chinese transport are chaotic to any eye but that of faith, but their results are good, and I knew well that every one of these hundred and fifty waifs would turn up at the appointed time and place without loss or damage of a single package. When you bear in mind that many purloinable things are packed in loose bundles and netted baskets, and that a carrier's labour earns something less than a pound a month, you are bound to admit that the Chinese system of collective responsibility produces in the mass a very decent substitute for honesty. Through the city at last, out of its eastern gate to more suburban alleys ; mulberry gardens, fir-shaded graves, and the houses of rich gentry ; finally to the turmoil and traffic of the Chientang river, where the paper and timber merchants' hongs stretch for miles along the high-walled i8o HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA bank. Here the chair coolies were paid off — the equivalent of IS. 6d. a man for the twelve miles — and choosing a spot on the wall least frequented by dogs and beggars, we sat down to smoke until the coming of the transport. Lambton, like a benevolent conjurer, produced sandwiches and a capacious flask ; the sun shone warm on our backs, and our souls were at peace. Below us the broad stream lay crowded with strange craft innumerable — sampans, slipper-boats, cargo-wallahs, and passenger junks, of curious designs and rigs, unlike the deep-water types of the Yangtsze, but the same, no doubt, that carried the river's trade when Hangchow was the capital of the Tang Dynasty. The tide being out and the stream low, boats were dis- charging their cargoes into wooden-wheeled carts, drawn by slow-moving oxen, through the shallows ; passengers were coming and going between the junks and the shore on planks raised above the mud by trestles. Bright sunlight everywhere, and the unceasing din inseparable from the Orient's struggle for life. Far away to the south we could see the river gleaming at the foot of purple hills, the hills amidst which we too were to go joyfully ; and the sight consoled us for the increasing attentions of the loafers whose friendliness, com- bined with great personal uncleanliness, eventually made us evacuate the position. So, the junk manager having - turned up opportunely, we proceeded to inspect the boats. There was one for us, a great unwieldy-looking thing that reminded one of the Canton flower-boats and Noah's Ark, as depicted on Bryant and May's match-boxes — TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER i8i a boat that drew less than two feet of water, with a crew of five coolies and a lowdah, and a big mast forward of the cabin and two long sweeps astern. The cabin, boarded and roofed with oiled pine, was divided off into cubicles, one of Noah's inventions no doubt ; back of the cabin was the lowdah's lair, a darksome cubby-hole, stuffed with bedding, facing a primitive kitchen of the native type. The crew, we were informed, slept in the murky depths beneath the cabin floor, a piece of news which Thurlsby received without demonstration of delight. Two other smaller boats, thatched with rough matting, were the Ark's convoy — one for the dogs and cook, the other for the dog-coolies and beaters. There was good kennel-room for the pack in the square foreholds, and a bundle of rice straw, bought from a floating haystack along- side, made them look inviting enough for any tired dog. Lambton was, of course, ordering people about (putting things ship-shape, he called it), and had speedily removed the cubicle partitions from the port side of the Ark, thus making space large enough for four camp-beds, the dinner- table, and other pieces of resistance. He located a bath- room next the kitchen, and for each man a cubicle on the starboard side for the storage of kit and gear. He had found a Chinese pen and ink, and was busy writing up his assignments of places and their uses after the manner of the Ordnance Store Department, when Jim, philo- sophically basking outside on the spare straw, announced the arrival of the first of the transport corps. Thurlsby, obviously dejected by the inspection of the Ark, observed 1 82 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA that the wretched creature probably was the only survivor. Anyhow, there he was, a human scarecrow coming along the wall at a good dog-trot, cheerily swinging a tin bath and my kit-bag through the crowd. We cheered him as one man. And after him, by twos and threes, they drifted in, until in half an hour they had all come safely to the shore, where their burdens were dumped in a line at the foot of the wall, tallied by the Man with the Button, and pronounced correct. It was a long line, and the sight of all this monstrous collection of worldly goods made one wonder whether these poor beasts of burden, knowing nothing and needing nothing of the thousand things essential to our existence, were not perhaps happier than we. Looking at the matter in this light, it certainly seemed ridiculous that the needs of four men should involve the expenditure of energy represented by that interminable line of tatterdemalions. At a word from the Man with the Button, the line shouldered its poles, each man depositing his load under Lambton's masterful eye in its appointed place ; and as the sun dropped to the level of the roofs above us the last man filed out with his dole of cash, the gang-planks were handed in, our moorings slipped, and we dropped out into the stream. Thereafter, much bustle of bags and coolies, unpacking and sorting of gear, until, as the twilight faded and the young moon's faint rays glimmered tremulous on the water, the Ark's interior presented a comfortable and business-like appearance. With rugs and mats on TO THE CHIENTANG RIVER 183 the floor, Jim's tent spread on the roof, blankets slung to catch the wind that came shrewdly through many a gaping creek in the planks, with lamps swinging fore and aft, and oil -stoves cunningly disposed, even Thurlsby admitted that the result was grateful and comforting. And when, as we sat at dinner, the tide came in, with a great clamour and turmoil arising from the boats along the wall as the bore rushed past them, our crew, howling like the rest, hoisted anchor. We were off^, and not a man of us at that moment would have changed places with Mahmud on his golden throne. Ah, those are the meals to remember ! Meals eaten with light hearts in goodly fellowship. Take all your banquetings and feastings of uncongenial souls, eating indi- gestible food to the glory of society, and give me some good honest food with a decent glass of wine, in the places of contentment and good cheer 1 Not many such are vouchsafed to us, as things are ordained, but when they comiC, they leave memories that linger fragrant as jasmine and lavender. I think each of us four hardened individuals felt this, grateful to the gods for the hour and the scene, as we smoked our pipes on the fore-deck after dinner, listening to the gentle lap, lap of the water under the bows, and to the crooning song of a coolie in the stern, and watching the pearl-grey and silver track of moonlight on the dark stream. Nobody wanted to talk — this world of river and hills, these murmuring voices of wind and waves, the real world which we forget in the huckstering caravanserai of men's 1 84 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA making, it claims, when we find it suddenly again, a tribute of silence that we pay instinctively ; our idle talk is hushed, under these stars, as in a cathedral. Jim indeed made an attempt at conversation, asking Thurlsby whether his conception of immortality included the possibility of excursions from Arcturus to Sirius and beyond, and if so, what sort of society he expected to find there ; but he was not encouraged. As we turned in, after a libation to Diana, I summoned the lowdah, christened Noah by common consent, pardy on account of his ship's build and pardy because of his un- mistakably bibulous features. To him I gave orders for the night, to sail as long as the wind lasted, and if it gave out to yuloh till daylight. Fuyang, our first hunting- ground, must be in sight by breakfast-time ; after that his merry men might sleep the clock around. Noah grunted. I promised largesse if we got there in time ; if not, revilings and a fine. Another grunt. He must keep touch with the other boats, never allowing them out of sight. Another grunt. Did he quite understand ^ " Yes," he grunted. So we turned in. CIPILINE CHAPTER XV " Item : that the fleete shall keep together and not separate themselves asunder, as much as by vvinde and weather may be done or permitted." (From the Ordinances instructions and advertisements of and for the direction ot the intended voyage for Cathay, compiled by the right vvorshipfuU M. Sebastian Cabota, esquire, 1553.) -^ ^'^ ~^ "" "dni^ht I awoke ; for moment all the subtle atoms and essences that make up the living © Ego, the legion forces of consciousness and memory, refused to return from their wanderings in the great Shadow Land ; it needed the familiar rumble of Jim's snore to restore the realities of time and place. At that stertorous summons each particle of grey matter stood smartly to attention, and the citadel was manned against the terrors of darkness. Swiftly, then, the captain of those mysterious hosts reassured me of my pin-prick place in the Universe. Next came the reports of outposts, restoring communication between yesterday's rear- 185 1 86 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA guard and the advanced line of to-morrow. So I sat up in bed, listening for the song of the wind in the sail or the squeak of the yuloh on its pivot. There was no sign of life or movement on board, neither murmur of gliding water nor splash of pole from the bows. We were at anchor, laid snugly by in some sheltering backwater ; every man on board was asleep. Slipping on a dressing-gown and Mongolian socks, I groped my way to the stern. A spluttering lamp tied to the rudder-post showed the yulohs drawn in -board and idle, the sail was down, its cordage creaking in the breeze, which came gently whispering across the river on its way to the south. The other boats lay moored a length astern. The tide had ebbed ; phantom junks, silent and mysterious, were gliding down in mid-stream. It was an unfamiliar and unfriendly world, under the thousand glittering eyes of night. Noah was in his bunk, deep buried under a mass of greasy quilts, a samshu bottle on a shelf near his head exhaling its fragrance as the key-note of a fantastic medley of stinks. " O son of a turde," said 1, "get up ! " I said it once, — I said it twice, — I went and shouted in his ear, but he slept as sleep the drunken or the dead. So I pulled off the quilts. He gave a litde quivering sigh, like a tired child, and rolled over on his stomach, as one who protects something precious. Then I prodded him with the first kitchen implement that came handy, which happened to be the toasting-fork. This stirred him, at last, to incoherent speech. DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 187 " Head wind," he grunted, " ebb tide. There is no help for it, you can't go on to-night." And swiftly clutch- ing the bedding he rolled it tightly round him, with his back to the wall, looking out upon me with a goblin blood- shot eye that blinked horribly in the flickering candle-light. " Thou lump of baked mud, predestined to re-birth as a pig, get up ! " I reviled him, argued and threatened, — he tucked himself the tighter in his wrappings, and finally addressed himself once more to sleep. So I found a jug of water and poured it down the back of his neck. That did it : with a yell as of ten thousand scalded cats, Noah arose. In five minutes three of the crew had tumbled up drowsily from the depths ; two manned the yuloh, one went forward to pole, and we were under way. I mention this incident because it reveals several truths useful to houseboat travellers : firstly, that if you sleep at night, the lowdah will assuredly sleep also ; secondly, that while lowdahs as a class are truculent and depraved — for reasons already explained — a drunken lowdah is the very devil ; thirdly, as was said long ago by an early British diplomatist who had mastered some of the secrets of the East, these people yield nothing to reason, but everything to fear ; and, lastly, that there is nothing so terrifying to a Chinaman as cold water applied to, or near, his head. The jealous care with which the Celestial guards his pigtail from water is a peculiar characteristic of the race, which the Rev. Arthur Smith has neglected to explain. The fact is due, no doubt, to some deep-rooted instinct. 1 88 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA some remote aversion of organic memory ; be that as it may, its results confront us every day, in the umbrellas and enormous hats of husbandmen, in the effect of a shower on the most excited mob. 'Tis a subject which deserves the attention of the Royal Asiatic Society. Noah was not a fair specimen of the Chientang river men, who, as a class, are good-humoured philosophers and well disposed. They have a certain sturdy independence of bearing, not ungrateful in a land where servility largely prevails ; towards officialdom and politics they are cheerfully indifferent, unless their time-honoured rights are infringed or there be talk of steam-launches invading the river. It is a boast with these water-men that their forefathers have sailed the Chientang junks since the days of the Yuan Dynasty, and they would have you know that the Manchus are usurpers. But the Throne's affairs are not theirs, and so long as the tax collector is reasonable and trade brisk, they are not concerned with questions of State. As for the foreigner, if he be a missionary who bargains like a native and travels in a hurry, let him use his own boat ; but sportsmen are notoriously squeezable, heaven-sent givers of largesse, whose boats move leisurely, with long days of rest — and therefore welcome. They have something of the sporting instinct, too, these sturdy oarsmen, and no little knowledge of the habits of water-fowl, and if you treat them well (which only means as fellow-creatures) they will tell you where to look for feeding geese, and work the boats warily into range of duck and teal. Having removed Noah's blankets as a precautionary DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 189 measure and heard him, horribly muttering, give orders to yuloh till daylight, I went back to bed. Once warmed to their work the coolies stuck to it cheerily, knowing that to-morrow would bring idleness and sleep. The lowdah's grievance was evidently not theirs. It was grateful and comforting to hear the steady swish of the long stern sweep, the low voices of the men, and the faint tap, tap of the lowdah's pipe ; to feel the gentle rocking of the boat ; to snuggle down in the blankets with a sense of virtue and duty nobly done. Every now and then, from the pole-man in the bows, there came a weird cry (long-drawn and quivering in the silence, like the voice of some lonely ghost seeking its mate), and from our boats astern, or from others out in mid-stream, came faint tremulous replies. Thus, on the Chientang, they make the world-wide instinctive appeal to ^olus, attuned by centuries of experience to the local ways of the Wind god, as all men have done from the beginning of time whose ways have lain upon the waters. It was good to lie there in the darkness, to feel oneself again amidst the old companionable gods whom we have slain with machinery, to hear the words of men who still speak of Poseidon and Pan and all the tutelary spirits of the woods and hills, even as they spake who followed Ulysses of old upon the wine-dark seas. Good to drift back even for a little while, out of our clockwork modernity, to this forgotten backwater where the voices are still heard that whisper down the ages — voices that remind us of things our souls knew long ago when the world was young. I90 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA Our boatmen keep their watches by the stars, or by- some occult mechanism in their stomachs ; and they changed them with man-of-war precision, three men on and three off, day and night. Those who came off duty would slide down into the bowels of the ship, and, sitting round a sooty, spluttering lamp, smoke rapid pipes and talk for half an hour before curling up to sleep. The smell of those pipes, of that evil .lamp, and of close-packed humanity was wafted from the depths, a pungent and abominable incense of labour. Through cracks in the flooring one could see, amidst the gloom and smoke of that cockpit, the little group, squatting on their haunches, a Rembrandt vision of Oriental faces in deep shadow, and from their drowsy talk came shreds and patches of the litde things that make the sum of their litde lives — Liu San's luck at dominoes, the quality of Noah's rations, the chances of wind and weather. The relations of these men with each other and the world in general were instinct with a certain rugged gendeness and courtesy, by no means the least of the benefits that the race- mind has acquired from centuries of Confucianism. Their virtue of chronic cheerfulness was less easily accounted for — probably an accidental foregathering of good-humoured souls, possibly a local benediction for merit acquired by virtuous forebears. Seldom have I met men so visibly contented upon such small provocation ; it was a thing to inspire wonder, and a lingering desire for the prescription. From the rowers in the stern came songs before sunrise, songs all day long, droning recitation, and high-pitched falsetto tales of love and war ; from the rice-pot there came DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 191 ever the cracking of new and flavoury jokes. There was one fellow in particular, a squat, merry-faced Sancho Panza, whose stock of Rabelaisian stories was apparently inex- haustible, and whose poling was done to an accompaniment of songs and war-whoops most original and invigorating. His mahogany complexion was mottled and pitted with small-pox, and his friends — he seem1p4^ — to know every man, woman, and child on the river — called him " Beajri- curd." As I drowsed off to ^^eep, he was explaining, amidst frequent tappings of pipes, the organic^ dis- turbances and horrible results that usually follow the sudden application of cold water to the human bbdy, especially in the case of drunkards, and he cited a case that had occurred in his wife's mother's family, where a sleeping watchman, thus rudely awakened, had ruh naked through the land for more than a hundred li^ and thereafter persisted in considerioig himself a tortoise. It was evident that any signs of eccentricity on Noah's part would be readily discounted. Lambton sleeps, as he does everything else, thoroughly ; therefore he had heard nothing of my midnight discussion with Noah. But at daybreak he was up and about, and from the borders of No-man's Land I heard him warmly inviting Jim to come and walk the dogs along the bank ; 192 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA to which Jim replied that it was bad for animals to be disturbed in the middle of the night. Then the gang-plank was let down, and we heard a cheery whistling above our heads, getting rapidly fainter. I gathered that we were skirting a hill, which meant we had crossed to the east bank of the river. The whistling died away in the distance, and we lay cosily wondering where we were, and how long it would take to get Jim to breakfast. Suddenly we heard Lambton's voice in the distance, shouting words indistinct, but of unmistakable wrathful purport ; a moment later I was on deck and saw him at the top of a small hill waving excited arms in the direction of Hangchow. But the hillock was at a bend of the river, and our view was confined to a projecting spur, where the fir trees stood close -packed in shadow, covered with glistening fairy lace of silvery strands. I recognised the spot — Li Shan — and knew that, from his perch, Lambton could see the valley of Fu Yang to the south on the opposite bank, some two hours' journey up-stream. And I rejoiced at having kept Noah up to the mark. But, as the Latins discovered long ago, the best laugh is that which finishes the story. Lambton, stalking moodily downhill and getting within range, announced his intention of keel-hauling the lowdah and then going back to bed. Coming close, he explained that our convoy — dogs, beaters, and all the necessary impedimenta of the chase — were nowhere to be seen. The best thing to do would be to sail back and find them. This was one up to Noah. As Lambton jumped aboard, Thurlsby emerged in a ' \ DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 193 purple dressing-gown embroidered with white storks, and I told them the tale of the night. It was clear that Noah had taken his revenge by allowing the other boats to part company, a thing contrary to his sailing orders and all recognised usage among lowdahs. Unless prompt and stern measures were taken, there would be an end to discipline for the trip ; we should be at the mercy of this cross-grained wine-bibber. This being unanimously carried, after a brief council of war, Gehazi was ordered to summon Noah from his lair. Rubbing bloodshot eyes, and blinking at the light, he squirmed his way forward, and, being evidently nervous, gave himself courage, after the manner of his kind, by taking an intelligent interest in the horizon and noisily abusing Bean-curd, who was swabbing the deck. In disciplinary cases it is usually best to deal with a Chinaman through another, superior to him in rank and if possible not of the same province ; for thus, in the eyes of his fellows, he loses more face, and what is more, he cannot snatch the fearful joy of pretending not to know what you are talking about, a dodge which even Viceroys do not disdain, on occasion. So Gehazi was appointed Inquisitor, duly prompted, and bidden to speak fiercely. Noah, with the crew looking on, and well aware that much face hung upon the issue, tried all the usual tricks — at first he affected surprise, looked around for the missing boats with a sympathetic eye, and protested his innocence as that of a man far famed for honesty from his youth up. Had he not carried missionaries, and was he not the possessor of a certificate of character from Dr. Main, whose name CUSTOMS LlBFiARV 194 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA was better than silver in all that land ? Reminded of his sailing orders and the undeniable fact that beaters and dogs are necessary for shooting, he disdained responsibility ; were there no lowdahs on the other boats, and had we no servants to tell them what to do ? Because he had made a bargain on their behalf, must he be answerable for all their offences ? And from so monstrous a suggestion of injustice he rapidly generated wrath -matter (for the gallery), and, becoming truculent, told Gehazi that a lowdah of thirty years' good repute was not to be thus bullied, — had he not already been despitefully used ? — and if there was to be any more trouble, the foreign gentlemen had better get another boat. He was becoming noisy when Jim quietly intervened. " Gourdful of bad samshu," he said, " you have received $25 bargain money, you are guaranteed by the junk company, and there are Prefects at Fuyang and Hangchow — it was your business to see that the other boats did not drop behind. You are no lowdah, but the son of a sodden mud-carrier. Are we to go back and lose a day because of your drunken foolishness .'' " Noah, abashed by straight talk, suggested we should await the coming of the boats. There were birds, he said, in the hiUs. "Yes, we will go up the hill," said Jim, " but you will sleep no more to-day — you will go down river with two men and bring them quickly. And if they are not here by mid- day you will lose a day's hire. Now, mud-turtle, be off, or you spend to-night in the nearest yamen." With a little gentle persuasion the thing was done, and DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 195 Noah disappeared down-stream, in a sampan rowed by two coolies, whose object would naturally be to get back to their own rice-pot as soon as possible. The boats turned up before noon, and, satisfactory relations having thus been established on rational principles, Noah's behaviour for the rest of the trip was that of a sadder but much wiser man. Ignorance and vacillation (which are the component parts of 0ur political benevolences) merely incite the Asiatic to his lawfulprey. But deal with him firmly, in all justice, and he gives up monkeying with his destiny and yours. So, waiting for the convoy, we spent the morning on the Li Shan. Pheasants were scarce, for here the hills run right down to the river, with little intervening cultivation and few of those wooded groves and oases in the open where the birds love to lie in the heat of the day. The hills were high and thickly wooded, stretching back to the south and east, a very goodly sight for eyes weary of horizons unbroken ; a country where, if local reports speak true, leopard and deer and pig abound, and where to camp out would be a delight. The hill-men are brisk, sturdy folk, kindly spoken, with a something of frank independ- ence, as if to be raised but a few hundred feet from yonder crawling ant-hills of the plain were enough to endow man with a new backbone and the eye of speculation. In all their litde valleys water-wheels were turning to the music of fern- fringed waters, making the coarse buff paper in which shop- keepers wrap their parcels from one end of China to the other ; on every hillside clearing, on threshing-floors, and on the grassy banks of ancestral tombs it lay drying, each 196 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA square sheet separate, in sunny patches, testitying to the untiring industry of this race and its pitiful ends. A thousand years ago they made the same paper in the same way by these murmuring mountain streams. To tramp the woods without beaters or dogs was healthy exercise, but the bags would not be the heavier for it, so we made for the river where, in the scrub and thick cover at the foot of the hill, we found bamboo partridge. They were plentiful enough, lying in coveys at the edge of the covert, and by taking turns to flush them from the inside, we got some lively sport and five couple of the little brown birds. But the hillside being the only retreat, the coveys flushed like Roman candles, skirted the bush for a few yards, and then turned sharply in again, so that the only chance was to stand back and wait for snap-shots. At this game Lambton speedily became an expert. To know where the birds are likely to be, how the covey will spring, and how far you may let them go, are things which come by instinct to the man versed in woodcraft. At noon there was a shouting in the distance, and our malingerers sailed round the bend. Then, in a little while. Ah Kong and his fellow dog-wallahs, with great yapping and turmoil of the joyful pack, came to meet us. Of course there was a story, most circumstantial, of a broken yuloh, to save Noah's face ; but we paid no heed. Before a good northerly wind we bowled along to Fuyang, where a long valley, dotted with copses, stretches far into the hills — hills covered with bracken and low scrub such as pheasants love. Here, at our landing, we sprang DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 197 and killed a deer from the first thicket, a brace of pheasants from the long grass on its sunny side, and a couple of snipe from the paddy field in which it stood. And here for two days we scoured the low hills, after beating the copses of the valley, revelling in the glorious sunshine and the silent underwoods, all red and gold under the first touch of frost ; and the bag already made a brave showing at the stern of the beaters' boat. On a long trip, where transport to one's base is un- certain, the cleaning and hanging of game is a matter which requires more care than it generally gets. To keep birds in good condition they should be cleaned at once, stuffed with dry charcoal, marked with the date of killing, and hung in the shade. Chinese sportsmen send their game to market packed tight in the hold of a dirty boat, with the result that it comes to table at best tasteless, at worst savouring of things unpleasant, so that epicures speak evil thereof, com- paring it unfavourably with the hand -reared fowls of England. But cure and hang your birds properly, and they have a flavour as subtle and aromatic as the best fowl that ever lay on a poulterer's slab. Another word to the wise. Let not the cook in cleaning pheasants or deer make away with that most succulent morsel, the liver. The meat of red-deer, as a standing dish, is uninteresting, but (I have said it before) it makes excellent food (with rice) for the dogs, and is therefore valuable where beef and mutton cannot be bought. But the liver is a delicacy which the Chinese fully appreciate, most edible and toothsome, so that unless you insist upon its preservation, CUSTOMS LIBRARY 198 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA they will tell you " have makee throw away." Also I know of no better dish for breakfast than pheasant liver on toast. Wang-li, the cook, knows my penchant in this matter and is complaisant, but the average menial will either trust to your forgetfulness of bird anatomy or sturdily protest that pheasants have no livers worth mentioning, and certainly none worth eating. One item in the bag, a civet cat which, fleeing before Shiela and Rex, emerged untimely upon Thurlsby's gun, was not hung in our larder, but at the farthermost point of the dog-boat. Lambton, with the cheerful help of Bean- curd, thick gloves, and a rope, skinned it on the bank at sunset ; but the smell of that feline was upon him and on the dogs, an all-pervading and persistent smell that afflicted our nostrils for days. So strong was the effluvial memory of the beast that, when the dog-boat was to windward, it drowned the flavour of our post-prandial tobacco ; but Thurlsby, regarding it already as a disinfected and decora- tive hearthrug, declined to throw it overboard. So it remained ; but a close season for civet cats was voted nem. con. From Fuyang we worked up-stream to Liuchia Chwang (hamlet of the Liu family), where thick woods skirt the foot- hills, and where a thick undergrowth of bracken, scrub, and heavenly bamboo affords ideal hunting-ground for partridge. Here Peter, Rex, and Lambton's spaniel (hired from a sport- ing tax collector) had a field day, which laid them out for forty-eight hours (Peter was duly carried home in a basket slung on the beaters' poles), and fifteen brace of birds were DISCIPLINE ON BOARD THE ARK 199 brought to bag, each one representing glorious moments of expectation, successful stratagem, and triumph. In addition to our half-dozen beaters, most of whom were unconscious of any purpose or method in their work, and blundered about erratically in tolerant good-humour, there were wood- cutters abroad, and children attracted by the chance of pick- ing up an empty cartridge, so that promiscuous snap-shoot- ing was out of the question and our chances considerably reduced. And the birds were certainly less plentiful than of old ; this is bound to be (as I have told you in another place), because the new-fangled ways of Young China have created a demand for game on the menus of their fashion- able restaurants. Here, in the heart of the woods, we met several trappers, and realised that the bamboo partridge's habit of lying close and flying low make him an easy mark to the skilful netter. With a little ground-bait at the edge of an isolated clump of cover, these men will sometimes snare half-a-covey at one stroke. A few years hence and we shall probably find no shooting except in a few deserted places, remote from railways and the pernicious effects of universal education — such as Mongolia, or Ireland, or Saghalien. Towards sunset Jim bagged a fox, and thereafter there emerged from the underwoods a grass-cutter, loudly wailing and exhibiting a pellet wound in the calf of his leg. It was only a scratch, but a crowd gathered as if by magic, sympathetic and garrulous ; so the victim, accompanied by all the house of Liu, was invited to the boat, where Jim anointed the wound with listerine and cold cream ; then, 200 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA with largesse of a dollar and two cigars, he departed amidst his admiring friends. Whatever may be the opinion of the Chinese as to the doctrines and general doings of the white man, they have an implicit belief in his virtue and skill as a healer. This is the result of medical missionary work, and it is no small thing. Wherever you go, amongst the junk- men on the river or in the villages of the outlying hills, these people will tell you of marvellous cures of the Hangchow Mission Hospital, of the wondrous skill and sovereign remedies of the good doctors who visit the out- lying stations. This touching confidence of theirs in one undeniable virtue of the foreigner will bring women to you with their sick children, and men with their tales of woe — pitiful visitants and most embarrassing. Jim's knowledge of first aid to the wounded, and the houseboat's medicine chest, often served their turn ; his consultations on the tow-path were frequent and interesting ; and by the end of the trip he was beginning to take himself seriously as a practising physician. So was Bean-curd. I ^OFRrVERSIDE- MEMORIES- , CHAPTER XVI " And now we breathe the odours of the glen, And round about us are enchanted things ; The bird that hath blithe speech unknown to men, The river keen that hath a voice and sings." O'Shaughnessv. 'EITHER you, O patient reader, nor I desire any detailed itinerary or account |, of this or any other of our journeyings. Les jours succedent aux jours : they are gone, each with its chances and changes, like unto the rest. Sunrise and the joy of a new day ; a muster-call of dogs, beaters, and carriers on the tow- path, so many hours of steady tramping, c9 so many birds bagged, or haply missed ; lurch in the sun-flecked shade of a pine grove, followed by a pipe smoked in silent rumination on a soft bed of ferns. On again, slower now, working gradually round to the spot where the boats' flags stand out above the river-bank, till the sun is gathered to the purple peaks and the evening 20I 202 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA mist floats on the water like a veil of milky gauze ; back to the boats, as the dusk falls, through farms and villages where the smoke of the rice-pot rises, with message of comfort to meet the toiler homeward bound. Each day is like the rest ; each evening brings the same ineffable luxury of hot tubs, tea, and meditative smokes, the same delight of drowsily stretching tired limbs in idleness Olympian, until a tickling fragrance from the kitchen culminates in dinner. Each night brings the same good cheer, rosy-hued plans for the morrow, and the deep dreamless sleep that comes of doing fit things. And so the day is done, gathered into the unfathomable depths of Time, leaving only fragrant memories that shall be with us until we, too, pass out into the shadowy bourne that lies beyond the sunset. I might, of course, set forth each day's journey, with maps, and give you a resume of local industries, a com- parative analysis of dialects, and a scientific summary of the day's bag. This, with the aid of other men's writings, would be easy, and in accordance with the usage of book- making in China ; also, it would materially assist me in the provision of the intolerable tale of words required by Mr. Arnold to complete this volume. But I promised you at the outset that herein you should find little geography and less science, and 1 keep my word. I will tell you only of things that stand out against the background of memorable days, as trees against the sky-line of a hill. Memorable days — ay, but already, under the stealthy hand of knavish Time, their charm is informed with a collective quality, hazy in outline, subtle, elusive. There is fragrance in it still, as OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 203 in a jar of pot-pourri, but the essence of each individual flower is lost. Really important people (Prime Ministers and prime donne) keep diaries to prevent such pathetic evaporation of marketable memories. Let that pass, — to my tale. At Wang Shapu, a country of low rolling hills covered with oak scrub, we bagged sixty pheasants in two days and did some goose-stalking in the open, to the ruin of our clothes and the unmistakable amusement of the geese. But the particular mental picture which I garnered in that spot (I cannot think of it calmly even now) is of my lonely self on the brow of a steep hill, a brace of pheasants dropped sixty yards below ; Nelly pointing steadily just ahead. Ah Kong and the beater on the other side of the hill, and down there a Chinaman calmly re- trieving my birds under my very nose, and making off with them to a village some two hundred yards away. I never saw those birds again, and therefore — such is the way of man, with pheasants or females — I shall remember them with regret, long after every bagged bird is forgotten. To do the Chinese peasant justice, he is usually a decent fellow in this matter of retrieving, especially in country where foreigners do not shoot too often. To have one's bird deliberately lifted in the open by the Lord of the Soil was a new experience, another pernicious result, no doubt, of the " sovereign rights " movement. As a general rule, unless you happen to be in a district where so-called- sports- men have irritated the natives by tramping through their crops, the countryman will take a kindly interest in your proceedings, advise you where to find game, and help to 204 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA retrieve a lost bird. And should you express appreciation with a ten-cent piece, you will be none the less welcome when next you pass this way. It was at Wang Shapu, at our anchorage under the joss-house, that Gehazi, in all innocence, threw Thurlsby's front teeth overboard — two pearly incisors on a gold plate, which lay by night in a tumbler of water by their owner's head. It was dark that morning in the Ark. Gehazi saw only what he mistook for the remains of a whisky and soda. Anyhow, the teeth went overboard, and the horrid fact was discovered only when Thurlsby awoke half an hour later. By that time Lambton had got the boats under way. When the K.C. realised what had happened, words failed ; there he stood, in his pyjamas, grievously stricken, a mute appeal for help and sympathy in the gaping void of his upper jaw. I don't think any of us had ever appreciated before the value of dentistry to the modern man. And what made it worse, in the face of distorted misery so acute, was the irresistible tickling of the ludicrous side of the tragedy. Jim's facial contortions, intended to express sym- pathetic grief, reminded one of those Japanese rubber masks where the tragic and comic blend in a hideous grotesque. To proceed, in the face of so grievous a catastrophe, without attempting a rescue was out of the question, so the morning was spent in search for the lost treasure. Happily there was not more than four feet of water at the fatal spot, and Bean-curd's trained eye eventually caught the gleam of gold " in the waves beneath him shining," and, stripping with the swiftness of a conjurer, he retrieved the precious OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 205 object. Thurlsby received it with a smile the like of which his clients and colleagues of the Supreme Court have never seen. That night I heard the incident discussed by our beaters and the crew over their rice-bowls, and Ah Kong, whose prowess as a raconteur evidently pressed Bean-curd to emula- tion like any trouvere of olden time, told a wonderful story of the ways of white men and their many inventions. The utterly fantastic details of his tale threw a new light on his powers of imagination, and I made a mental note of the fact for future use. But the story, as he told it, was not without a certain humorous quality. Nearly all foreigners, he said, towards middle age resort to the aid of skilled physicians to replace, as Thurlsby had done, worn-out portions of their anatomy. The Chinese had no such devices : even a wooden leg, if a man have need of one, he must buy from the European. Well, he, Ah Kong, was once up country with four foreigners in the Changchow district (he gave all their hong-names, and ex- plained how they earned their rice), and they had stopped one day to watch an acrobat contortionist at a village fair. One of the village elders, talkative and friendly, asked the foreigners whether such feats could be seen in their honour- able country. Mosely, the tea-man (there was no mistaking Ah Kong's description of hiyn)^ replied that a contortionist could not earn a living in England because all Englishmen could take themselves to pieces. And with that he scooped out his left eye. The crowd, forsaking the acrobat, gathered close to see this marvel, whereupon each of the foreigners 2o6 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA took off and exhibited some portion of his anatomy : one his hair, another his teeth, and the last man his left arm. The headman, sore amazed, asked whether the white man's stomach was also removable, to which Mosely replied that it was, but only in the early morning. That, with certain neces- sary omissions, was the story ; whereupon, led by Bean-curd and supported by the whole strength of the company, there ensued a most edifying discussion on the comparative anatomy of white men and yellow. Its details I must leave to the night wind that heard them and sighed ; to the pale moon that nestled her face behind fleecy clouds. Now it is a fact that these four men, even as Ah Kong described them, do actually exist in the flesh ; but it is a thousand to one that they have never been up country together (Benton, the man with the wig, doesn't shoot), in which case my young friend must have invented the whole story, simply to impress his yokel audience and to score off Bean-curd. And yet we still wonder at the primitive lies with which these people regale us every day 1 At Liu Kuang-tao, below the rapids, we left poor old Rocket, a victim to dysentery : his grave stands on a wooded knoll overlooking the river, and his dogged soul, if there be any justice in the scheme of creation, is in Elysian fields where game is plentiful. Poor fellow, the hard work and cold had aggravated his chronic trouble, and although we dosed him with condensed milk and brandy, his mortal coil could not stand against it. But the courage and spirit of the beast ! Even on his last morning, hardly able to stagger ashore, how his eye brightened and his tail wagged at sight OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 207 of the gun ! To hear his pitiful little whine, as we went off without him, sent a lump to my throat. Poor old Rocket — sleep weU ! Many a good day have we had together, and if, when my turn comes to creep underground, my duty has been done as you did yours, we may meet again — who knows ? — in hunting-grounds more celestial. Also — if the Buddhists are right in their conception of the scheme of immortality — you may yet wield the gun, while I, in expiation, range patiently ahead. Just below Liu Kuang-tao we came across a family of peripatetic wild-fowlers, three brothers, with their promis- cuous assortment of women and children, natives of Kiangpeh on the Yangtsze, whose ancestors, it seems, have plied this trade from time immemorial. Their boat was narrow and low in the water, in shape like an elongated slipper-boat, with a monstrous-looking swivel gun projecting from its bows. This archaic weapon was practically all barrel, — a rusty gas-pipe barrel over twelve feet long, about 4-bore, with a ramshackle shoulder-piece where a stock might have been. Its charge of villainous saltpetre and miscellaneous ironware (nails, slugs, and scrap heap refuse) was rammed down by the man in the bows, who apparently attached little value to life, and the blessed thing would kill, they said, at 150 feet and more. Our followers showed unmis- takable respect for these practical sportsmen, — men who could, and did, make shooting pay, — and I heard Bean-curd explaining to Ah Kong how that a wild-fowler from Kiang- peh, by reason of long practice and inherited virtue, can see as well on a dark night as common men by day. Their 2o8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA modus operandi is the same as that of punt-gun men all the world over : a stealthy approach to duck, close-packed on open water, or to geese on the riverside feeding-grounds, and a careful shot into the darkest part of the mass. These men know every inch of the river, the winds that bring birds down to the mud-flats, and all the mysterious habits of wild-fowl, and they make good bags. The headman told me that it was considered bad business to let off his ancient piece for less then ten head, and the average would be considerably over this. The noise of the gun being great, it does not do to repeat it very often, as the birds are easily frightened to the inland waters. Bright windy nights are best for duck on the river, but most geese are bagged on the flats, just before dawn. Three families of these prehistoric sportsmen, it seems, divide the river between them, by the sort of prescriptive right which grows naturally in China, and their bag is sold to a goose-eating clientele^ which has also grown up all along the river, as well as to the markets of Hangchow and Shanghai. Seeing that the mouths of our crew watered undeniably at sight of the geese in the punt's forehold, we bought three, at the equivalent of eightpence each as korban for the crowd : two shillings' worth of pure joy. Our own bag of wild-fowl, up to date, had been small, consisting of one goose, a few duck, and a dozen teal, inland wanderers all. Above the rapids the river runs blue and clear between high hills, at mid-day a streak of dancing light gleaming between the deep shadows of the thickly-wooded banks. OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 209 The hiUs are too steep and too closely timbered for shoot- ing. There is but little current on the stream ; with a fair wind you can get through in a few hours, but with a breeze from the south it might take days, for tracking is impossible in many places. Above the gorges the country is much the same as below, low rolling foot-hills stretching back from the river, where game is fairly plentiful. On an island just below the rapids we found woodcock and had good sport, the flushed birds making across to the left bank where Thurlsby hiy perdu in the cover. On our last day up stream we came within sight of the town of Yen Chou ; the country ahead looked inviting (it always does), but the time had come for taking the homeward trail, and we left that country undisturbed. On that day, scouring a valley above the gorges, we met an imposing funeral procession, with droning horns and wailing pipes, dragging its tawdry panoply of woe along a flagged path amidst the fields, bearing the husk of some departed mandarin to its ancestral resting-place in the hills. All the usual pomp and circumstance were there, strangely incongruous in this remote place, where the north wind's song whispered low and sweet through the pines ; all the pitiful insignia of the social atom that had been, whose very name must so soon be forgotten ; red boards with high-sounding titles blazoned in gold, umbrellas of honour, and life-size paper effigies, with a stream of relatives and friends following in sedan-chairs and afoot, accompanied by all the rag, tag, and bobtail of professional ghouldom. And loud above the burden of the marche funebre sounded the 2IO HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA voice of the mourner, gasping sobs and wailings of women clad in sackcloth, the very soul of human grief, speeding short-lived man to his long home. And as we stood to watch the procession go by, Pat, who had been busy in some thick scrub to our right, gave tongue, and thereat a deer broke cover right in front of the leading minstrels. Jim, the only one who could get a clear shot, fired, and the deer, badly wounded, went away with three dogs in full cry. Then occurred an interesting thing, proving once more how much better is a live dog than a dead lion (or Button-man) : for the funeral march stopped abruptly, the coffin-bearers dropped their load, and the women in sackcloth ceased to wail, aU eagerly intent on the chase. The departed and all his virtues were forgotten, all the etiquette of conven- tional grief swallowed up in the impending doom of a fleeing river-deer ; and when, 300 yards away, it stumbled and the dogs were upon it, an excited chorus of " ai-yahs " broke out all along that line of mourners. Until the beaters had brought in their quarry they stood there, talking aU at once and curiously examining the strange clothes and guns of the men from the West, And then, all of a sudden, the bearers resumed their illustrious burden, the sound of lamentation broke out afresh, and the evening air was filled with the shuddering sobs of afflicted humanity. And as I watched the motley procession drag its serpentine length down the valley, I realised how one touch of nature can indeed make the whole wide world kin, for even so, long ago in Kildare, had I seen another dreary cortege of conventional woe, with all its paraphernalia of hearse, mourners, and crape-trailing OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 211 mutes, forget their business and their affliction while the hunt went by. It is one of the universal weaknesses of humanity, a common instinct of atonement, that we must needs make amends to our dead, the dead who are beyond reach of a kind word, deaf to our kindness and our care, by loud proclamations of unavailing grief, by tardy epitaphs that shall atone for words of comfort unspoken. In all this region, where the white man goes but seldom, our boats were the centre of politely inquisitive crowds, our dress, dogs, and domestic economy the sub- "^^Jz, ject of interminable discussion. But that which attracted more attention even than our humble selves was the appearance of Ah Kong and his brother dog- coolies. Most of our fol- lowers were ordinary natives, of little distinction, but the kennel - wallahs were indeed a remarkable trio. For these poursuivants of the per- manent staff usually acquire a sporting tendency of mind which, with the help of their masters' discarded raiment, expresses itself in their persons. Jim's man had arrayed himself in the complete summer kit of a Sikh policeman, putties and all, crowning the whole with a saucy yacht- €> 212 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA ing cap. Thurlsby's sported a striped sweater with tight rowing shorts, wearing his hair like the blades of the Foo- chow Road, but tucking his pigtail under a straw hat. But all their united glories paled before those of Ah Kong, arrayed in a Monte Carlo hat, Norfolk jacket, and riding breeches, with woollen stockings of generous pattern (they looked like Wilden's) and canvas gaiters. The majesty of his appearance was undeniable, hors concours^ dazzling from the outset and growing in splendour, but when, at the end of the first week, one of the gaiters succumbed, Jim's man equalised matters to some extent by carrying an empty binocular case slung in most jaunty fashion. Let it not be imagined, however, that this gorgeous apparel was produced before we were well clear of Shanghai. There, amidst their own kith and kin, to savour of the European and his wardrobe is a reproach which no self-respecting Celestial would willingly incur ; they may go so far as to wear your discarded hats (and not a doubt but that your singlets, etc., are comfortably next their skin), but the donning of Western raiment, coram publico^ is a thing they leave to those dmes damnees of native servitude, the " ridey-boys " of the Race- club. Far afield, amidst the innocent peasantry of another province, these scruples vanish, and it seemed to me, watch- ing the strut and swagger of these fellows in their borrowed finery, that they hoped to be mistaken for the lordly foreigner, to have their share of the curious awe of the vulgar. I cannot account in any other way for Ah Kong's unusual solicitude for my welfare, shown in frequent offers to carry the gun through villages. Even the beaters, in OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 213 white sail-cloth trousers and police boots, had their little . hours of gratified pride, their little circle of admirers in way- side hamlets. And the bearing of these varlets, relying on the protec- tion of the foreigner, is apt to be somewhat masterful towards the lord of the soil ; 'tis a matter that needs watching. To give an instance. I had wounded a hare one day, and Rex had followed it into a patch of thick jungle which grew round an ancient grave. Ah Kong disappeared after Rex, and in a little while there came from the thicket sounds of falling masonry and splintering wood. The hare had crawled through a hole in the brickwork into the mouldering coffin, where it lay dead amongst the bleached bones of the departed, a gruesome spectacle. By the time I reached the scene, Ah Kong had enlarged the opening enough to allow Rex to retrieve his quarry, v/hich was done amidst much rattling of mortal remains and stirring of grey dust. Feeling like a body-snatcher, I rebuked Ah Kong with much strong language, reminding him of the respect due to ancestors and the fate of those that desecrate graves. There was a countryman working in the field close by, and, as we emerged with the hare, he came towards us. " What will you do. Ah Kong," I said, " if he makes trouble .'' This is none of my business." " No fear," he replied. " He no talkee nothing. This countlyman velly stupid. All same damnful savage." Which (proving true) seems to show that the most venerable customs of the Chinese may be affected by cir- cumstances and environment, and that their morality is 214 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA tempered by opportunity. And this brings them very near to ourselves. At Liu Kuang-tao, on our way down stream, occurred a memorable moment with wild pig. Lambton, Thurlsby, and I were at breakfast. Jim had just flooded the hold of the Ark by the usual collapse of his india-rubber bath, and was sitting disconsolate on the flabby remains, when suddenly Bean-curd on the fore-deck shouted loudly for us to bring the guns. Rushing on deck (Jim was there also) we saw, about a quarter of a mile down river, seven black objects in the water. They were pig, said Bean-curd, swimming the river. The anchor was up in a moment, oars out, and the boat heading swiftly across stream to cut them ofi^, visions of roast pork spurring the crew to howling activity. But alas for all fond hopes ! Within 300 yards of the porkers the Ark struck a shallow, and the race, so far as we were concerned, was over. Jim, with a towel about his loins, got out his Mauser, but by this time a crowd of Chinese, armed with poles and boat-hooks, had lined the bank so that shooting would have been dangerous. Helplessly we watched the gallant landing of the pigs, a wild meleg of squealing quadrupeds and shouting men, a convulsive maelstrom of blows and grunts, which left three black corpses stretched upon the shelving bank. And as we pushed ofl^ from the shallows, the remarks of Bean-curd to Noah on the subject of navigation in general, and drunken navigation in particular, were not fit for the ears of decent men. And so we made our way down stream, with varying OF RIVERSIDE MEMORIES 215 fortunes and much content of body and mind ; nothing to mar our joyous days except the thought that each sunset brought us nearer to the end of our sweet liberties, nearer to desks and office-stools, and all the abominable machinery of our money-grubbing businesses. And every night the river gleamed, a pure line of molten silver under the stately-moving moon, and the north wind came gloriously singing through the dark passes of the hills, rustling in the shadowy sails of up-stream junks, speeding the swift wings of the wild swan, hurrying the serried squadrons of geese. I never hear, in the silence of a hushed city at night, the deep note of heron passing overhead or the cry of phantom curlew, but that, in a flash, I am back again in those moonlit reaches of the Chientang river. Did I understand you to ask, O practical man, the cost of such a trip ? A pity, is it not, that we must express the value of all things, even halcyon days, in terms of sordid sycee .? Yet such, I will admit, is the net result of all our philosophies reduced to their last word. Well, Jim, who carried the purse and made out the accounts on half a sheet of notepaper, avers that such bliss as ours is within the reach of any man who can affbrd to pay for it at the ridiculous rate of ten dollars — a pitiful pound sterling — per day ; and this might be reduced if you take the common tow instead of a private launch from Shanghai to Hangchow. The price of Noah's Ark, with crew, was $4.50 per diem, and the smaller boats $1.25 ; a beater's wage is 40 cents (tenpence), and of chickens and eggs you may buy enormous quantities for a laughable sum unless 2l5 ' HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA the cook is within rang-e. Bread and meat are not to be had for a king's ransom, for this people knows them not. But why should we talk of such things ? Find them out for yourselves as part of the day's work and play. Take care of your souls ; get you to the hills and look down on the green valleys, the laughing waters, the dim soft distances of this good rolling world, and, never fear, your journey's cost will be paid with a light heart. " All that shaketh does not fall : the contexture of so vast a frame holds by more than one nail. It holds by its antiquity, as olde buildings which age hath robbed of foundation, without loam or mortar, neverthelesse live and subsist by their ovifn waight."— Montaigne. HAVE mentioned, I think, that all along that low-lying coast of the Yellow Sea which runs from Shanghai to the mouth of the Chientang river there is a great industry of salt- making ; for miles and miles, upon the No-man's land lying between the sea-wall and the tide, you may see the salt-pans glistening in the sun and bent figures of men toiling like ants. It is a good healthy trade this getting of brine on the wind-swept marge of the sea, and the men who ply it are a sturdy race ; but the salt is not like Tidman's, being a dirty mud-coloured substance at best, for the sea water is so turbid near the mouth of the great river that, even after filtering it through clay, the evaporated residuum retains particles of up-country mud. Now salt in China is a Government monopoly, which 217 21 8 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA means that the article produced, like Italian tobacco, is very- bad, and that a vast horde of official harpies batten and prey upon it, from the time it leaves the brine-pit or salt- pan to the moment when it reaches the consumer. Further- more, it means that, because the duties and squeezes levied by the Gabelle amount to far more than the cost of pro- duction, salt-smuggling is one of the great trades of the Empire, providing employment for a mass of boatmen, carriers, spies, desperadoes, and illicit retailers on the one hand, and on the other for barrier watchmen, examiners, river police, gunboat patrols, Government informers, and many other varieties of armed or buttoned men ; so that salt, properly considered, becomes a most romantic and precious commodity. I could tell you many interesting things about it, — of the business relations between the Putung smugglers and the gunboats at Sung-kiang, of the tricks of the Yangtsze river steamers and the remarkable experiences of my friend Chief Engineer M'Cormick ; also there is the historic and authentic tale of the preventive service flotilla in and around the Great Lake which, because of too much zeal, had so discouraged the contrabandists of that region that half the flotilla had to take to salt-smuggling in order to justify the existence and protect the livehhood of the other half. But my present business is with house- boats and the villainy of Cyclops, erstwhile lowdah of the Mighty Atom^ who fell because of salt. It was a Chinese New Year outing. Jim and I had made up a sortie to Haiyee with Wilden and the Admiral, and had had great sport with woodcock and duck, a north- SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 219 east wind having brought a heavy fall of snow and driven the birds to inland sheltered places. On New Year's day, after breakfast, we had shot inside the city, and, returning to the boats at noon, were for taking fresh beaters and working across the country towards Chapu. But of Cyclops and his merry men there was no sign ; the Admiral's boy and the cook were alone in that deserted ship — and all that we could learn was that they had " makee go buy some- tmg. On board the Saucy Jane everything was in order, the muster-roll complete, and a look of smug virtue on every man's face ; but they also vowed they knew nothing of this unparalleled desertion. Concluding that they had gone off to some convivial gathering of relatives or fellow-rogues, we sent out scouts to round them up, and meanwhile made the best of it over lunch. The Admiral's rage had resulted in a fierce generation of wrath-matter, producing at first voluble incoherence and then an ominous speechlessness, from which he only recovered gradually after the third glass of port ; but his emotion did not blind any of us to the fact that we could not leave the Mighty Atom behind ; for to be boatless at the end of a day's trudge is not the most jovial of adventures. So we waited for the return of Cyclops, whiling the hours away with bridge. The Admiral held four aces twice and won steadily, so that his longing for opportunities of personal violence faded softly away. By four o'clock he was inclined to take a lenient view of peccadillos on New Year's day, and when Cyclops and his merry men appeared, followed by an army of salt-laden 2 20 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA coolies, it was he who intervened, with reference to the merciful man and every dog his day, when Jim and I were for refusing to let them bring their contraband aboard. Wilden, being a trader, and therefore imbued with sneaking sympathy for any one that defrauds a Government, sided with the Admiral, and the stuff was speedily disposed in the secret depths of our ships. I had often seen salt under the anchor chains of the Saucy Jane, but never before had I been a witness and accomplice at its shipment ; for these loadings are usually done privily and at night. Both crews were in the deal, as was clear from the way they divided and stowed the cargo, as well as from the conscious sheepish- ness of all concerned. So, minus an afternoon's sport and plus certain pros- pective illicit gains for our crews, we made our way home- wards via Kashing. The cheerful alacrity of our men next day, afloat and afield, was a pleasure to behold, fully worth their profits on the salt, and Cyclops was positively obsequious in his attentions. I forgot to mention that this worthy got his name because one eye having been gouged out in an animated discussion with some of his Putung friends, the other protrudes horribly, like that of a Pekinese gold-fish. Despite this facial handicap he confronts the world and the river police sturdily, and to us, his employers, he shows many estimable qualities. I say that he shows them, for although at this moment he is engaged in the uncongenial task of making coir mats in the municipal gaol, his place and his old friends await him at the end of the year's durance, the lean year which SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 221 he is serving for that cargo of salt. And this doom overtook him, as we discovered later, because of his failure to recognise the obligations of honour among thieves. It was a hireling varlet, engaged for the trip by Jim, who gave him away, one of those Ishmael " boys " that live on short jobs and what they plunder from globe- trotters. I suppose Cyclops wouldn't give him a share because of some unwritten lowdah law on the status of hirelings ; anyhow, he made a mistake, for, while we were shooting the long grass stretch inside the city wall, the fellow went off and lodged information at a lekin station. Shortly after our return to the boats a fing cK at came on board, with the card of one Feng, described thereon as Sub-Prefect and Brevet Assistant Salt Comptroller, by the grace of Kuang Hsii, in the province of Chekiang, and many other things besides. Mr. Feng, said the Man with the Button, was loth to disturb the honourable foreign gentlemen, but having learnt that their boats were carrying a large quantity of salt, he, being a zealous officer, etc. Of course the honourable foreigners could not know that salt was a Government monopoly or that the houseboat crews were evil-doers, but they must agree that the Emperor's revenue must be protected, etc. And the upshot of it all was that half an hour later we were moored alongside the lekin station, and our salt — we had come to look upon it as ours — was ignominiously carried ashore by the licensed villains of the law. Having secured their prey, Mr. Feng's myrmidons 22 2 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA desired nothing more of us, and there the matter would have ended but for Cyclops and the Berserker rage of the man. He had lost his venture ; now, because of a sudden bloodthirsty longing for revenge, he must needs lose his liberty to boot, a thing not uncommon in a race which believes that suppressed wrath-matter in the system will kill a man as surely as poison. We never knew exactly how it happened, or who had betrayed the betrayer ; but what we had heard was the yelling of a man in mortal agony, and what we saw was Cyclops with the hireling's head in chancery, trying to get at his eyes before shoving him into the river. Jim, as usual, was on the scene of action before any one else, and Cyclops seeing him coming, abandoned the idea of eye-gouging, and, with one fierce kick in the hireling's abdomen, sent him screaming into the water. Thence we fished him with boat-hooks, and laid him unconscious on the bank ; and Cyclops, sullenly satisfied, was seized by ?i posse of runners. Unwilling to leave the wretch to the unknown terrors of criminal procedure in fartibus infidelium, Jim and I decided to call on the redoubtable Feng, and give our bond to deliver him safely for trial in due course before the Mixed Court Magistrate at Shanghai ; so, sending on our cards by the t'ing cJiai^ we put on our longest coats and made our way through dark narrow lanes to the laoyeh's residence. He was something of a surprise this Assistant Salt Comptroller of Chekiang, one of the curious phenomena of modern China that make one rub one's eyes and wonder SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 223 where the whole fantastic business is going to end, and how such remarkably new wine can be contained in the crazy bladders of antiquity. We were ushered through the courtyard of an ordinary ramshackle building into a hall dimly lighted with a ship's lamp ; thence, without warning, into a room which might have been transplanted bodily from the sea-view terrace or esplanade of any watering-place in England, a room that made one think instinctively of master mariners and Portsmouth, of white decks and brightly-polished brass. There was the horsehair sofa, the mantelpiece ornaments, the pictures of Nelson, and the " Fighting Temerairey There was the officer's sword, hung between photographs of football teams, and beneath it the photo-album on a brown crewel mat. If it had not been for a large picture of the late lamented Viceroy of Nanking, and the indefinable savour of the East in our nostrils, we might reasonably have expected to hear the call of the newsboy or the muffin man's bell. And as we were trying to adjust this interior to the Celestial scenes through which we had just passed, and wondering whether we had not got into the European harbour-master's house by mistake, Mr. Feng appeared. I think he was really glad to see us. At least he said so, and insisted on our staying to dinner. For a man, even an Oriental, who has been four years in the British Navy and passed with distinction in navigation, gunnery, and torpedo work, it must be difficult, at first, to return to the sweet simplicity of native life in a back street at Kashing ; and our host had only been here a month. 224 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA He would get used to it in time — they all do. The impress of the West would fade, and the East claim him again, body and soul, for her own ; but, for the moment, he was evidently struggling with his environment and greedy for a talk of the old life. He had meant to stick to the navy, the Chinese navy, and had served for a while on an alphabetical gunboat at Canton. It wasn't his fault that, since the debacle of '94, there hadn't been any navy worth mentioning to stick to. All his people were officials, with a fairly good " puU " in Peking ; so, when the bottom of his gunboat dropped out on a mud-bank, they had got him this job. He didn't know anything about salt revenues, but his secretary did, and the financial results were not altogether unsatisfactory. After all, one has to live somehow. As to Cyclops ? He didn't know much about the law, but the man was a foreigner's servant, and wasn't there something about that in the treaties } Anyhow, he didn't want to be bothered with the case. If we would promise to hand both men over to the Shanghai Court, he would be delighted never to hear about it. Of course if the hireling died, it might be awkward ; but it was our business. The main thing was that we were to stay to dinner. So we left it at that, and orders were sent to restore Cyclops to the Mighty Atom and to put the hireling to bed, with restoratives, on board the Saucy Jane. We had a most interesting evening. A pal of Feng's dropped in, another limb of Young China, a graduate of Yale, who called himself Arthur Lee and brought a SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 225 banjo. He too was apparently delighted at this windfall from the West ; told us he had completed his training as a civil engineer, had worked two years in the Straits, and had recently come back because his father wanted him to get married and had found him a job in the Telegraphs. He was an ardent patriot, of course, and a reformer of the Cantonese school, that is to say, he considered the intelligent youth of that province as pre- ordained to open and devour the Chinese oyster. For our sake and from politeness, he tempered the wind of his enthusiastic remedies to the shorn lambs from overseas ; but for the rest, the Empress Dowager, the Court, and the fossilised Mandarin, he included them in a wholesale and eloquent denunciation expressed in terms that vaguely reminded one of the New York Journal. And the worst of all the maggots that infested the rotten body-politic were the students from Japan. Listening to this fiery exponent of new policies, one realised that strange destinies are in store for all the uncounted millions that toil on, unconscious of the clash of systems at their gates ; one realised too that, simple as it sounds, " China for the Chinese " is not going to be a children's picnic. It will be " Ireland for the Irish " on a grand scale, and without the R.I.C. They wore no P'utzu, our hosts, and they ate with knives and forks ; Feng, clad in a claret silk tunic with his queue curled away under his cap, explained that until lately he had worn foreign clothes, but that, for an official, it wouldn't do. He used them still for shooting, but even Q 226 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA this had been imputed to him for sin by the gentry, and a* friend in the Fu-tai's Yamen had warned him to discard the breeks and stick to long robes and petticoats. He waxed pathetic at being deprived of trouser pockets ; and when you come to think of it, when you remember how vast a part these same pockets play in creating the lordliness of Western men, how they can transform a boy in a moment from infantile indignities to worlds of domination and freedom, how by their virtue commonplace heads of dull families assume masterful ways impossible to pocketless humanity, one perceives that they may be near to a great truth who insist on dress reform in China as more im- portant than the abolition of eunuchs or lekin. Also one perceives — and I commend the fact to Foreign Offices, Members of Parliament, journalists, and all other blind leaders of the blind — that a Government which gravely informs the Powers to-day that it cannot control its provinces when they break treaties or kill missionaries, and to-morrow can enforce its edicts in the matter of pigtails and clothing, is a Government which has by no means reached the end of its resources. The humble philosophic attitude towards this amazing world through which we pass so quickly, that attitude to which only the Greeks, as a race, have fully attained, would appear to be henceforth hopeless ; nevertheless, if East and West are ever to meet, if the scurrying masses and turmoil of white men and yellow are ever to come to a good under- standing, the secret of that philosophic attitude must be discovered. And the yellow man is far nearer to it than SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 227 we, for all our many inventions. With us, the mysteries of the Universe and the eternal questions of our being, the ends and purposes of this brief flitting of men across the painted veil, all the things that matter, are drowned and lost in the Babel of voices that goes up, day and night, from the great market-places which, God help us, we call civilisa- tion. On one side stand the politicians, lawyers, traders, pressmen, and quacks, shouting to half-deafened mobs new tricks to gain a point in the struggle for life, the struggle wherein we all forget to live. On the other, the clamour of the sects, shouting louder still to weary stragglers from the crowd their sure systems of salvation and panaceas against predestined evil, tearing each other to pieces mean- while for the love of strange Deities of their own fashioning. Everywhere, men, drawn by the Babel, are leaving the quiet fields, the mountain pastures, and the paths of the sea ; the roar of the Press grows fiercer, the unceasing whirr and clicking of machines assail the stars, and for the glory of mammon man goes willingly to easeful death, un- conscious of all the wonder and beauty of life. This is the chief result of that material progress which we so fervently commend to Oriental peoples, and which they, having pre- served something in their lives of dignity and wisdom, resist with all the weight of passive inertia. I suppose that what we are pleased to call economic pressure — which in its final expression means greedy men with quick-firing guns — will eventually confer on China our inestimable boons of Parliament, Party Government, Company Promoters, Suffragettes, and all the rest of it — 228 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA but I take comfort in the thought that it will not be in our time. The soul of China will brood on, unmoved by all the clamour at her doors, while yet a few generations work their unquestioning Stoic way to rest. " All that shaketh does not fall : the contexture of so vast a frame hangeth by ^^1 more than one nail." The feverish fantasies of our short- lived Western philosophies, the nostrums of all the leaders of our body-politic. Peace Societies, life-lengtheners and soul-curers, industrial evolutionists and star-gazing theorists, the East has heard and forgotten them all long ago.- Christianity's centuries lie strewn with the wrecks of SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 229 moralities and systems, while the force that holds China together has been transmitted, unchanging and unchanged, unassailable as a wind-swept rock. Europe may dominate her, as we have dominated India, by superiority of mechanical and economical devices, but the soul of the East is beyond our reach, buttressed and entrenched behind a philosophy beside which all our shibboleths are but vain imaginings. Take the white man from India to-morrow and the ancient races before whose eyes he struts and frets would speedily forget him and all his words and ways ; no mark would he leave upon their creeds, no change in their attitude towards the mysteries of life and death. It is our custom, in the interests of what we are pleased to call the cause of civilisation, to condemn the Chinese system of policies and ethics, and it is the business of our diplomats and missions to endeavour to persuade this people to replace that system by our own. From the economic and commercial point of view we may be justified ; but if we test their form of civilisation and ours — as philosophers must do — by the possibilities of happiness obtainable by the largest number of individuals ; if we strip the question of all self- interest, proselytising fervour and cant, then, it seems to me, we have good reason to desist from disturbing the deep- set peace of the East. If it must be that we continue to run up and down the face of the earth, preaching to each other the road to Heaven or the coming of the millennium ; if we must bestir ourselves night and day, shouting the latest answer to the riddle of life, explaining the Creator's will and the mysteries of pain and death — well and good. CUSTOMS LIBRARY 230 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA But the East asks for no such futile turmoil of soul ; its attitude towards the inscrutable purposes of the Creator was fixed ages ago, by consent and teaching of its sages, an attitude of patient acquiescence in the human insect's limitations. It is prepared to take the present cheerfully and eternity on trust, and when all is said and done, what more practical philosophy has the West evoked ? Does any one honestly believe that it would profit either East or West to inoculate the sons of Han with the moral standards of modern Europe. But I am wandering from Mr. Feng and Arthur Lee and all the world of things as they are at Kashing to-day, which we discussed amiably with our hosts, over coffee and cigarettes, to our mutual edification. Feng wanted information about railways and road- making, police organisation, and all the other administrative panacea wherein Peking has been taught to see salvation and the Mandarin sees opportunities ; ways and means he touched on lightly, lamenting his countrymen's rooted aversion to direct taxation and the rapacity of the Central Government. Lee, being in the Telegraphs, was naturally anxious to know about physical culture and the organisation of a Volunteer corps, and in return for what we told them of these things they gave us such information as they thought good for us, on judicial procedure, lekin, and the doings of the provincial gentry of Chekiang. It is impossible to talk to a Chinese official about the system of administration which he represents without n arvelling that a machine apparently so clumsy and SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 231 defective should preserve such astonishing vitaHty and cohesion. In European countries such a system could not last a week ; at no point of its unwieldy bulk can you find evidence of definite purpose, inter-communication or method ; everywhere you come upon rule-of-thumb make- shifts, compromises, and gaping voids. No written law runs through the land, nor any code ; edicts are meaningless except where they voice local opinion ; even precedents, the unwritten foundation of rough-and-ready justice, are at the mercy of every Yamen clerk. Yet the thing holds together and does its work for a third of humanity without any great jolting or creaking. The explanation lies, of course, in the patient docility — up to a certain limit — of the Chinese people, and the wisdom of rulers who have learned to a nicety where that limit is and who seldom transgress it. In discussing the government of China it is well to be definite as to what the word "government" means and in- cludes. In Europe the term applies chiefly to the adminis- trative functions performed by the State's executive ; in China the State exercises little or no administration. The internal policies of the country are essentially matters of local custom and option ; the family, and collection of families, being at once the foundation of society and the arbiter of executive measures. But if government consists in the maintenance of place and power by the exercise of political instinct and the nice adjustment of conflicting forces to produce equilibrium, then the Manchus, with all their faults, undoubtedly govern China. Many of those who criticise the Chinese system fail to realise that an Oriental 232 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA government may survive without administrative activity, by virtue of that traditional authority tempered by prudence which enabled Moses to be a lawgiver without organising a police force. The rulers of China have learned to know their Demos, and it is for this reason that, despite corrup- tion, internal weakness, and the dangers that steadily menace them from without, they steer clear of many a rock on which modern states have been wrecked, safely guiding their ancient craft by hoary landmarks and craft of the pilots of long ago. And then, the Mandarin. He is an official, of course ; but the fact does not justify us in expect- ing from him the function of our bureaucratic executives. For the Man with the Button in China no more governs — in our administra- tive sense — than does an Imperial edict. He represents, in fact, the privileged class as distinct from the plebs, a class entitled by virtue of birth or intellect to do certain things, to collect certain revenues on behalf of the Throne (and himself), to see to the observance of such laws, written and unwritten, as custom has sanctioned, and to be the untoward and visible sign of the established order of things. But let him go ever so little beyond his prescribed authority, let him attempt any unprecedented forms of SMUGGLING AND ART OF GOVERNMENT 233 squeeze or collective injustice, and the real rulers of the country assert themselves unmistakably, inflict chastisement (with impunity) on the offender, and return quietly to their labours. The Mandarin, in fact, bears to the Chinese people a relation somewhat similar to that which the Irish politician occupies in America, except that, an fond^ he is in closer sympathy with the masses because of unbroken kinship and tradition. Both are admittedly and frankly corrupt ; both owe their continued existence to the patient, hard-working character of the people on whom they live — and both must eventually disappear, as education arouses the nation to a sense of the waste which such a system involves. Finally, as to parties in the State. Human nature being what it is, it is inevitable in China, as elsewhere, there should be political factions — Chinese and Manchus, Conservatives and Liberals, anti- and pro-foreign ; inevitable also that, as with us, the struggle between these factions for place and power should have for its ostensible object the ultimate good of the people, while the real end is the old, old question of the " haves " and the " have-nots " working itself out in the survival of the fittest. All these things we discussed, in philosophic vein, with Feng Tajen and Arthur Lee, who quoted Herbert Spencer and the Old Testament in effective defence of the Chinese system. It was all rather weirdly exotic, with Nelson gazing placidly on the scene and a gramophone from which Caruso and Melba rent the air at intervals. Towards mid- night we left them, personally escorted by a brand new bobby with an archaic lantern, and made our way through 234 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA slumbrous high-walled alleys to the boats. There Cyclops greeted us in the cheeriest fashion, and there I saw the hire- ling playing dominoes with the Admiral's boy as if salt- smuggling and attempted manslaughter were but creatures of the heat-oppressed brain. It is a philosophic people. -' GIHIAPTER-X¥I1 • (iysp]RM(&SNire^TffiCOMmGyc OM° C OMIMG ° HOME CHAPTER XXI " Home is the sailor, home from sea, And the hunter home from the hill." Stevenson. E were sailing down the seven- mile reach, Jim and I, homeward bound after a day with the snipe at Chapu. The young May moon was riding serenely through shoals of fleecy clouds, and a warm south-westerly breeze driving the Saucy Jane gently along to the music of rippHng waters. Smoking contentedly in our long cane chairs on the foredeck we were very near to that Nirvana of restfulness which man lost at the gates of Eden, and towards which his blundering steps have turned instinctively ever since. On the broad river, silence, and the shimmering message of uncounted worlds ; on shore, a mysterious fairyland of silver and shadows. I had been holding forth eloquently on the folly that wastes our powers and chances of enjoying life on the 278 ON COMING HOME 279 unceasing labour of getting and spending, getting and spending, — a text induced, no doubt, by the prospect of to-morrow's mechanical routine, contrasted with the Buddha-like detachment of these lotus hours. I had been comparing the life of our old friend the Cholin bonze with that of the heart-hungry, quill-driving automata of our civilisation, and Jim, who generally agrees sympathetically on such occasions, had puffed away in silence. The best of monologues is apt to pall, especially when it deals with conflicting systems, so after a while it perished on the midnight, without pain, and we sat gazing, with specu- lative eyes, at the inverted star-spangled bowl above our heads. I think it was the physical effort of filling a new pipe that roused Jim from his musings to slow speech. " I don't know that I'd like to lead that old johnny's life," he said, "at least, not yet a while. The white man's burden may gall a bit at times, but I prefer it to the yellow man's dreams, any day. And so do you, Phil. You've just been grousing because you're going home to work, but you'd grouse far worse if you had no home and no work to go back to. Human cussedness, that's all." " The ideal of philosophic contentment is not the yellow man's exclusive dream, my dear Jim. There are superior minds in every country, as Confucius very rightly surmised." "That's not what I'm driving at. What I mean is that half the joy of wandering comes from the thought of coming home again, just as the most subtle flavour of fireside contentment lies in the contemplation of future 2 8o HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA wanderings. Light and shadow, old chap, ebb and flow, — the flavour of life comes from its contrasts." " Ay, keep moving, Jim — that's the thing. To see the cities of the earth and learn the minds of men ; to keep your mind from rusting and your bones from getting stifl*. That's the wisdom of the ancients." " All very well up to a certain point, but restlessness is just as much a disease now as it was in the days of Ishmael. Your American tourist-wives keep moving all right, but you would hardly call them philosophers." "Moderata durant," said I. "AU depends on the motive. American women travel to get new frocks or new husbands, and to escape the horrors of domesticity without domestics." " Quite so ; but for the same majority of humanity, for those whose normal instincts haven't been destroyed by nerves or the hotel habit, or exceptional bad luck, there remains always, at the back of all our wanderlust, the homing instinct. Aren't we all of the same mould as old Ulysses, father of globe-trotters ? Not all the enchant- ments of Circe and Calypso can destroy the vision of the old familiar places, the little headland on rock-bound Ithaca." " Jim, you're getting poetical again. I don't blame you on a night like this, but the fact remains. I don't deny that every one of us cherishes a dim and distant ideal of settling down some day, of ending his days in stay-at- home contentment, with Penelope and her distafi^ in the ingle-nook. We all look forward to growing fat-headed cabbages when the wild oats' crop is garnered. Which simply amounts to admitting that every one expects to ON COMING HOME 281 grow comfortably dull in old age, and to choose a congenial spot to be dull in." " Don't pretend to be cynical, Phil. All the flavour of life lies, I say, in its contrasts. The man who has never worked doesn't know the blessedness of loafing, and the man who doesn't know the joys of coming home has missed half the pleasure of wandering." " Right you are ; but don't overdo the idealising. There isn't a white man east of Suez, I suppose, who hasn't got a pretty little picture at the back of his mind, a little dream that he hugs particularly tight when things are going wrong. A dream of a nice litde place in the country, somewhere among the fields and lanes where he went apple-stealing as a boy, a place with cheery neighbours, and a home-farm, a little fishing, golf, and the other leisurely pastimes over which a man may potter respectably to his grave, taking his family to the parish church on Sunday mornings, and reading Dickens and Thackeray over his glass of port at night. Every one has an ideal of that sort tucked away somewhere for future use. But sensible people like you and I, Jim, know that it's only an ideal, something like the young man's fancy when it lightly turns to thoughts of love." (This last was a shrewd thrust, deliberately dealt ; for, when Jim grows poetical, the presence of Lady Betty is hovering very near us in space.) "Well," he said, "if it is only an ideal, let's hold on to it. Anyhow, it's a fairly old one and has worn well enough in spite of your socialists and suffragettes, the restaurant 282 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA mania and all your modern nonsense. Those ideas are nothing but the froth and flurry of a small and noisy set ; behind them are the eternal humanities, the decent unsophisticated millions of men to whom the idea of home means something real, something that has been from the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. Did you ever hear Patti sing ' Home, Sweet Home ' to a provincial audience, Phil.?" '* Yes, and it brought the Vision near to every one of us. Each saw the place of his dreams, the ideal place of eternal sunshine and rest, and the old familiar faces. It brought a lump to one's throat, Jim, but it didn't bring us a bit nearer to reality. The old words, the old music, can revive transmitted memories whose roots lie centuries deep, they can touch emotional chords to an echo of forgotten music ; but they can't remit the penalty that every one of us has to pay for having eaten of the fruit of the tree of know- ledge." Jim didn't answer for some minutes. The Saucy Jane was tacking close in shore, the moon's light-cast silver dancing in our wake, and from a fisher's hut on the bank came the plaintive high-pitched recitative of a lonely watcher by his dip-net. 'Twas a night to broaden one's ideas of relative values and the absolute unimportance of man. Jim sighed, as one who is weary. " You're all wrong," he said, " but don't let us argue any more. Be quiet and listen to that poor benighted heathen over yonder. He's only telling you what every poet knows, the simple things that no machinery' or modern fads can ever kill. You may t t ON COMING HOME 283 pretend to have outgrown them, but they are there just the same." " All right, Jim, but go slow with your poets, at least as regards the ' Home, Sweet Home ' business. Remember what Keats said about it, for one. But I know what you mean, — the basso profunda Wordsworth-Tennyson brigade, as distinguished from the untamed tenor bards. You're becoming respectable, Jim, and I'm glad of it. 'Twas high time." And I quoted softly to the stars : — "And Lucy at her wheel shall sing In russet gown and apron blue." "Yes," said Jim, " you're right this time, for I'm going to marry Betty as soon as ever she can get her trousseau from Paris. And as we shall be going home in the autumn, this is my last trip on the Saucy Jane for some time, old chap. I didn't want to tell you before, Phil, because, well, I'm sorry to say good-bye to the old tub and all the good times we've had together." I said I was glad, of course, and in a sort of a way I was ; but in another, and very distinct way, I wasn't. Lady Betty could have found a husband any day without advertising, but where was I to find another Jim } Without him to talk to on long winter evenings half the joy of houseboat days would be gone, and already, in my mind's eye, the old haunts loomed cheerless ahead. Ah, well, tout passe, tout lasse, tout casse. The moment was a fit one for those social conventions wherewith we are wont to stifle the first signs of sentiment, and Gehazi's whisky and soda. 2 84 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA timely brought, was appropriately consumed to the greater glory of Lady Betty. " Good luck to you both,", said I, with a silent libation, " and may all your dreams come true. May you win home to the Castle Beautiful, and live there happily ever after. And may the rest of your days, friend Jim, be as free from care as those we have passed together." Heigho ! for 'tis a sad, mad, little world ! All our busy little lives, the sputtering of a brief candle, spent in building us castles in the Enchanted Isles, where everything is to be different from the grim realities we have known ; in seeking and storing up toys that break and flowers that fade, against the distant day of our coming home. And then, as we learn a little wisdom, we rebuild our castles, seeking ever new toys and new flowers to satisfy our new ideals, until quickly we grow old over " the toil that each dawning quickens, and the task that is never done " ; and so we come Home at last, all our plans and playthings forgotten, Gathered to the silent west, The sunset splendid and serene, Death. At daybreak we anchored at the Bund. A thrush was singing lustily in the magnolias of the Public Garden, and the south wind came laden with the first fragrance of summer. Already the river was humming with traffic of men and the stir of the day's work — a morning to send all blue devils and heart-searchings to the right-about. And as Jim walked briskly ashore, whistling something which he intended to be " Queen of my Heart," I found it in mine to ON COMING HOME 285 rejoice that he should be thus hotfoot on the quest of the Golden Girl, even though the Saucy Jane and I must be left behind. And there was a sneaking voice of consolation in my ears, a voice that seemed to fit in with the song of the thrush and the whisper of the south wind, which told me that some day, sooner or later, Jim would come aboard once more, and our talk would begin again where it had left off. For the call of the wild carries farther than all the voices of men. " Dog Rex," said 1 to that sympathetic quadruped, as he walked solemnly by my side with the regulation muzzle on his disciplined nose, and the foreknowledge of a week's kennel and constitutionals pathetically expressed in his half- masted tail, " Dog Rex, sentiment at appropriate intervals is a thing expected of all respectable Anglo-Saxons. Whether it be requisitioned to glorify my lady's eyebrow, to lament the death of Fido, or to extol the joys of home, we have got to have it in our outfit. And what's more, it has eot to be of the conventional British quality, and available for immediate use, as befits a great race of successful people who buy or inherit their emotions ready-made. And so. Dog Rex, this being the end of Jim's cruises, and the last chapter, let us be sentimentally joyful, old chap. For Jim is going to be married, and there will be much rejoicing." But we were getting out of the narrow ways of bricks and mortar, out into the country, where invisible larks over- head and warblers in the reed-beds were consigning dull care, together with all the humours and vapours of humanity, to t)blivion, and as we came near home the old dog's tail 286 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA gradually indicated the fact that he had weighed the pros and cons and found the balance of good righting itself once again. " God's in His heaven," it said, " and all's right with the world." And so our reflections (which otherwise might have ended this book) appropriately enough, and to the credit of all concerned, dropped all flavour of melancholy and ended, like M'Nulty's Christmas dinner, in great heartiness and good cheer. And, in case you have never heard of that dinner (all the lowdahs on the river know of it), 1 will tell you now, if only to prove that, as I say, it is customary for Anglo-Saxons to put on sentiment as a garment of virtue, and also that it is a garment which sits but lightly, and somewhat shamefacedly, upon us. Finally, that, as I have reminded you once before, when a man's heart warms to his viands, he forgets a great deal of sophistry. M^Nulty, who came of Scotch but respectable parents, had shed many of the peculiarities of his race in twenty years of boiler-making on the Pootung side. He had, how- ever, retained a few fixed habits, one of which was a week's houseboat outing with his chum Macpherson, to wind up the year, beginning with a good old-fashioned Christmas dinner somewhere in the wilds. Just the pair of them, you understand, but with all the proper toasts, the seasonable dishes, and the songs an' a'— a very solemn business indeed. If, in the course of this pious orgy, they happened to run across other boats, they would invite all hands in for a wee drap after dinner, but the tete-a-tete meal itself was a sort of consecrated rite, and respected as such by both. ON COMING HOME 287 And one Christmas week it fell out that Macpherson had business in Soochow, so they could not start together, but they agreed to meet on Christmas morning at the mouth of the Mutu creek and hold their high festival in that romantic spot. But something went wrong — a launch broke down, I think — and at the close of a day of irritated suspense M'Nulty found himself confronted by the awful prospect of a solitary Christmas dinner. There, in his cosy cabin, glowed the table regally set for two. There were the crackers and the little patriotic flags, the oranges, almonds, and raisins of his youth ; there was the champagne on its bed of ice, and the port beaming ruddily by the stove. And outside, a shrill wintry blast came whirling through the bleak hills ; just the time and ,place for a snug fireside feast, good fellowship, and long yarns of bygone days. But no sign of Macpherson. M'Nulty, as I have said, comes of that Scotch breed which does not lightly forgo anything that has been planned and paid for ; a hearty fellow withal, though sentimental in the Scottish manner, and with a fitting sense of the humanities. He now displayed these qualities. At eight o'clock he ordered dinner, called up the lowdah, arrayed him in Macpherson's spare dressing-gown, and solemnly invited him to take the empty chair. The pair of them then pro- ceeded to make their way steadily through a Gargantuan menu (including a haggis from Perth). There was not much conversation for the first half-hour, M'Nulty being busily engaged in putting away Macpherson's share of the liquor in addition to his own, and the lowdah, slightly dazed by 288 HOUSEBOAT DAYS IN CHINA the unexpectedness of the business, but inscrutably calm and watchful, after the manner of his kind. With the plum pudding, however, M'Nult}^, who by this time had begun to warm to his entertainment, pulled a couple of crackers with his guest, coiffed him with a Normandy peasant's cap and himself with a Tam o' shanter, called in the dog-coolie to enliven the proceedings, and proceeded to circulate the port. " Gentlemen," said he, " ' The Queen.' Stand up, you heathens, and no heel-taps ! " The lowdah, looking like Dan Leno in a female part, drank his old tawny like a man, and the dog-coolie, nobly struggling with the unwonted sensation in his guUet, followed suit. Then came " Absent Friends " (in bumpers), suitably coupled with the name of Macpherson, and words of eulogy addressed to that worthy's locum tenens^ a speech ir M'Nult)''s best and most discursive manner. At this stage the lowdah' s eyes began to grow beadily bright, and he showed signs of increasing conviviality, which M'Nulty nipped in the bud by singing " Willie brewed a peck o' maut " in a voice that shook the boat. The next toast on the list was "The Lando' Cakes," with long-drawn reminis- cences of Scottish childhood and more references to Mac- pherson, during which the guests helped themselves furtively to Havanas, and the host showed symptoms of unsteadiness on his pins. Then, with a second bottle of port, came " The Old Folks at Home," a magnificent, if somewhat maudlin, effort, in which M'Nulty endeavoured to bring home to his guests something of the dignity and pathos of exile. It was at this point that the lowdah unconsciously anticipated' the ON COMING HOME 289 next toast by independently and loudly draining his glass to an anonymous '* Soochow girlie," for which breach of good manners he was threatened with personal violence by the indignant chair. Finally came "Auld Lang Syne" by the whole strength of the company ; and it was in the midst of this solemn chant, when M'Nulty's stentorian tones were rising and falling incoherently to an accompaniment of curious nasal and guttural noises that came from his yellow brethren, and when all three, with clasped hands, were slowly circumnavigating the table, — it was then that Wilden and Thurlsby, homeward bound and attracted by the uproar, burst upon the festive scene. And M'Nulty, who had enough wine inside him to allow the truth to come out, assured them on his honour that the lowdah and the dog- coolie were jolly good fellows (he even insisted on singing it), that he did not want to meet better, and that he had never spent a jollier Christmas. Which was reported in due season to Macpherson. The moral of which tale is, if you take it aright, that a cheerful philosophy is worth all your sentiment. Not a bad thing to remember. Dog Rex, when the long day's work is done, our wages taken, and we are coming home. Printed hy K. Sc R. Clark, Limitid, Edinhwgh, ^ 1 c • « [ CUSTCMS LIBRARY CANTON J • * Map of Country NEAR Shanghai. Londoa Fdward Arnold > * • X ' • # « ' • • C5 , i O ^ / *■ -, V University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 405 Hilgard Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024-1388 Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed. mil A 000 104 260 5 '•^ -^^-Z.^-. -•■:.,'■ t '.> 'i.\ " I ■'• :<:''■ t . ,- •! ■. I ^O' ■•r*\A •vf' ,t. M- 'i "> ' University of ( Southern Re Library Fa