> ^., OFTim, GOL BOOK'S) ILLUSTRATED BY KOBINSONiiJ A CHILD'S GARDEN Or BY R L t)TEVCN5ON THC CHILD BX CA-BK.ICL 5ETOV/N HAKEl-BELirVL BY n D LOWKY LULLABV-LAND BY EVGENC KING By BARKINCTON C^EICOR- SSsJLANE THO^1> SSBODLLY ORB&NNALSCC TfTOGOLDEN A DREAMLAND Tales, utrit- en by BARRINGTON- LONDON \llliytrafed ty CHARLES Copyright 1897 By JOHN LANE All rights reset red To Her Royal Highness VICTORIA MARY, DUCHESS OF YORK, to whom this book, by her gracious permission, is gratefully dedicated. THIS IS A DAY OF GREAT EVENT IN THE GOLDEN LAND OF DREAMS; FOR THE KING HAS LAID DOWN HIS SCEPTRE AND CROWN BY THE BRIDGE' OF THE RAINBOW BEAMS; 860299 AND DOWN HE IS COME TO THE WORLD BELOW TO WALK AMONG MORTAL WIGHTS, LIKE THE CALIPH OF OLD OF WHOM WE ARE TOLD IN THE BOOK OF ARABIAN NIGHTS : AND DOWN IN THE WORLD HE HAS SOUGHT, AND FOUN IN THE SOVEREIGN ISLES OF THE SEA, A PRINCESS RARE, WITH A CHILD SO FAIR, THAT OF DREAMLAND THEY BOTH MIGHT BE. THE CHILD HE SITS BY A BALANCE THAT WEIGHS AS THOSE OF THE DREAMLAND WEIGH, FOR THE SCALE COMES DOWN TO OUTBALANCE THE CROWN WITH THE TOYS OF THE BRIGHT TO-DAY. HE SEES THEM ALL IN THE WONDROUS LIGHT THAT SHINES FROM THE DREAMLAND FAR, AND IT MAKES THEM SEEM WHAT HIS HEART WOULD DEEM, INSTEAD OF JUST WHAT THEY ARE. AND THE KING OF THE DREAMLAND WATCHES HIM PLAY, AS WHEN HE WAS A DREAMLAND ELF, AND HE LAUGHS FOR JOY IN THE GLEE OF THE BOY AS HE STILL WERE A CHILD HIMSELF. THEN HE LOOKS FROM THE CHILD TO THE MOTHER'S FACE THAT IS LIT WITH A TENDER LOVE. " NOW HERE," QUOTH THE KING, " IS THE PLACE TO BRING " THE TALES OF MY COURT ABOVE. "FOR HERE, IN THE HEART OF THE UNDERWORLD, " IS THE HOPE OF THE NOBLEST RACE "THAT EVER MIGHT STAND ON ITS CHOICEST LAND, " OR SAIL ON ITS OCEAN'S FACE ! " SO BACK HAS HE NOW TO THE DREAMLAND FLOWN ; AND SITS IN THE DREAMLAND HALLS, AND THERE FOR THE SCRIBES OF THE ELFIN TRIBES, THAT WRITE FOR THE COURT, HE CALLS. HE BIDS THEM SIT DOWN AND WRITE WITH SPEED THE TALES OF THE DREAMLAND BRIGHT; THEN DOWN THROUGH THE AIR TO THE PRINCESS RARE DESCEND WITH THE PAGES WHITE. AND HE BIDS THEM SAY TO THE PRINCESS RARE, WHAT HE SAYS TO ONE AND ALL THAT HE WHO WOULD RISE TO OUTWIT THE WISE AT THE CHILDREN'S FEET MUST FALL ; FOR THEIRS IS THE LIGHT OF THE DREAMLAND TRUE, AND THE WISDOM UNDEFILED ; AND THE WORLD AT ITS BEST SHALL BE LED TO ITS REST BY THE HAND OF A LITTLE CHILD. HARRINGTON MACGREGOR. DRVMTOCHTY, December 1897. A Book of Fairy Tales needs no Preface: so this is not one. I merely wish to acknowledge the help I have been given by some of the Dreamland Princesses, who not only took some of the stories down from dictation (and that not like " ignorent r a bets"), but also made me fair, if not fairy, copies of the same. And especially to the " Princess Elsie," who supplied me herself with a great part of" The Abduction of the Professor" HARRINGTON MACGREGOR Drumtochty, 1897 (bnfentv i. How King Longbeard came by his Name ii. The Spotted Mimulus , in. The Birthday Crown iv. The Conceited Monkey v. The Abduction of the Professor vi. The Dandelion Clock vn. The Fairies' Surprise vin. All about a Snowflake ix. The Horoscope x. The Raid of the Airland Princes xi. At the Gate of Dreamland xn. Through the Battledore 15 29 45 61 83 109 '3 1 15* 165 191 217 2 33 How King Longbeard came by his Name RE AM LAND is where the baby flowers are born. No one, except those who live there, knows exactly where it is ; but every one knows it is a land of golden beauty. In its centre is a valley, surrounded by lofty mountains, through which runs a river of liquid silver, as transparent as crystal. This river comes into the valley out 1 6 HOW KING LONGBEARD of a cavern in the side of one of the mountains, .and nothing wicked can swim in it : and that is well, for though almost all the inhabitants of Dreamland themselves are lovely and good, still a few of them turn out badly at times ; .and they have some unpleasant neighbours wild beasts that live in the forests on the moun- tain-tops, and occasionally strange birds and other creatures, that find their way thither from the wilds of Nightmaria, which is not very far off. King Longbeard's Castle stands close by the cavern, at the foot of a precipice, and the silvery water washes its walls. And King Long- .beard is King of all that country. In the winter, when the snowflakes come softly floating down through the air, you need not believe any of the tales that people tell to account for them. Nurses talk about "pluck- ing geese in fairyland," and wise men about "refrigeration" and "crystallisation," and such ugly words ; but, all the while, it is just King Longbeard driving the cold away from the baby flowers. And in summer, when you find the sun shining too fiercely, it is because King Longbeard will not allow it to shine so in the golden land of dreams, for fear the baby flowers should be scorched. They .are so tender, and have to be taken such con- CAME BY HIS NAME tinual care of! All day long, and all through the night, they lie in the most exquisite little cradles, or hammocks, made of a substance called dream-silk, which is spun by magnificent diamond spiders, specially kept for the purpose. Each baby flower has a nurse to look after it, in the form of a large bee, whose body is of a 1 8 HOW KING LONGBEARD rich turquoise blue, banded with blue of a darker shade ; and these lovely bees sing to their charges, and feed them with honey, till the time comes for each to be carried off by the fairies to some garden down here. And that is why the flowers have honey, and why they laugh so when our bees, who know nothing about Dreamland, come and ask them to give it back again : which, however, they always do. Longbeard is a strange name for the King, whose face is nearly as smooth as your own : but still it is a very appropriate one, seem- ingly, when one knows why it was given to him. It happened in this way. There were three baby flowers hanging in their cradles near each other in the Castle garden. Two of them were good and lovely ; one of a deep blue, the other of a pale yellow but I need not describe them, for you know them well, one being a blue-bell and the other a primrose. And the third flower, which was a dandelion, was jealous of the other two, because they were not only beautiful, but were also favourites of King Longbeard's children. And one day he heard them talking together, and Primrose said to Blue-bell, "How did you come here ? " CAME BY HIS NAME 19 And Blue-bell answered, "My mother dropped me in a little seed on the ground below, and a fairy picked me up and carried me hither." " That's exactly how I came here myself," said Primrose. But when Dandelion heard them say this he laughed rudely, and said, "Then I must be of far greater importance than either of you, for I came flying through the air in a bright fairy chariot, with a great star of dream-silk shining over me." But Blue-bell and Primrose took no notice of his conceited talk. So Dandelion grew very angry, and lay back in his cradle, shaking with rage, and thinking of all kinds of plans for being revenged on them for what he considered an insult. And the next night, when all the other baby flowers were fast asleep, and their blue bees humming drowsy songs over them, there came along a fierce tiger-wasp, from a nest on the border of the mountain forest, where he had fed on poppy, and aconite, and 20 HOW KING LONGBEARD black hellebore, and all kinds of poisonous plants. And, as he flew by, the Dandelion called him, and said, " Hullo ! Tiger-wasp, I want you to help me." "Oh! is that you? What's-o'clock ? " said the Wasp. " Yes," said the Dandelion. " I'm glad you've happened to pass just now, as I want you to do something for me." " Anything you like in the way of mischief, old Rabbit-meat," replied the Wasp. " What is it?" " I wish you wouldn't call names," said the Dandelion; "but, all the same, I want you to get rid of that conceited pair, Blue-bell and Primrose. You might do it by stinging their blue bees not enough to kill them, you know, but just so as to poison their honey." " I couldn't undertake a pleasanter job," said the Wasp. Now the Tiger-wasp was on his way home from doing terrible mischief, for he had, out of mere wanton cruelty, gone that night to the snowdrop's cradle and stung its blue bee to death. And that is the reason why the snow- drops come out so early now : they are looking for the bees ; but they never find them, and so CAME BY HIS NAME 21 they always stand hanging down their heads sadly. And now the cruel insect was glad to find some more harm ready to his hand, or rather to his sting; and so he prepared to attack the bees who nursed the flowers Dan- delion hated so, and grew so excited at the prospect that his sharp buzzing sounded like some threatening song. If he had been able to keep quiet, he might have effected his purpose ; but both Primrose and Blue-bell heard him, and, even in their sleep, cried out so loudly that King Longbeard heard them in his Castle, and, rising hastily, came out to see what was the matter with his baby flowers. And, just as he reached the bed where they were, he too heard the shrill buzzing, and saw the Tiger-wasp flying off in the moonlight. When he saw him, he knew there was some mischief abroad ; and so, after seeing that the flowers were safe, and their bees unhurt and at their posts, he called his 22 HOW KING LONGBEARD nightingale, that sings all night when the flowers are happy, and said, " Night-singer mine, fly before me, and show me the way to where the queen of the tiger-wasps dwells." So the bird flew before him, and led the way through the garden, and up the hill-side, to the edge of the great forest. As they drew near, several wild animals rushed out of the jungle, as if to attack the King : but when they saw him, and recognised who he was, they turned tail and fled back again. After a long and difficult climb the King came at length to the wasp's nest, and then he fearlessly plunged his hand right into the centre and drew the wasp-queen out ; and when he did so, all the other wasps in the land came flying to protect her. The King then turned to descend the mountain, and as he had at times to use both his hands in climbing down he placed the insect on his chin; and all her subjects swarmed about her, until they hung like a long, golden- brown beard, reaching nearly to the ground. So he came down, until he arrived at the bank of the river of silver, where he knelt, and bent over till the water touched his face. And then all the wicked wasps were washed away to be drowned. CAME BY HIS NAME 25 But the Tiger-wasp who had helped Dande- lion in his conspiracy called out as the stream was carrying him away, "Oh, King! King! if you'll spare me just this once, I will bring you to the real mischief-maker." If the King had known what he had done to the snowdrop's blue bee I don't think he would have listened to him, but, as it was, he desired his nightingale to fly down and pick the miser- able insect out of the water. The bird did so at once, and then the wasp brought the King straight to where his fellow-conspirator lay. When the Dandelion saw the King he fell into great terror, and cried out for mercy. Then the King, in the great kindness of his heart, pitied and forgave him. " But," he said, " you must both of you Dandelion and Tiger- wasp go away into the great world below, where people will hate you as much as they will love your intended victims, Primrose and Blue-bell." Then the Dandelion and the Wasp went; but they both despised the King's clemency, and became even more jealous than ever so much so that each of them turned bright yellow for ever and a day. And the King, though he had been very badly stung, yet did not mind 26 KING LONGBEARD'S NAME the pain, because he had saved the baby flowers that he loved so well. And this is how he, in spite of his smooth face, came to be called " King Longbeard." Jon^beard ^POTTED MIMULU^ The Spotted Mimulus HEN the mimulus, long ago, slept in his cradle in the golden Dream- land, he was not spotted with yellow and red, as he is now, but was all of one rich madder-brown colour, that had a depth in it such as you may see in the eyes of a faithful dog. His cradle was near King Long- beard's river of silver; so near that he could look over into the water, and see the splendid 30 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS red and gold fishes darting through it at their play. Sometimes one of them would rise to the surface and suck in one of the gauze-winged flies, that were tempted to float there by the re- flection of the sky they loved ; and the mimulus, at such times, felt sorry for the fly. But he was very curious to know how the fishes lived down there in the silver stream, where they could have no blue bees to hover over them, and sing them to sleep, and feed them with honey ; and, what was worse, no air to breathe. You would not think the mimulus knew much about breathing, but he did. And he knew as little about fishes as you know about him, for fishes all have plenty of air to breathe ; air that they find in the water that runs through their gills. And the flowers breathe, too, through hundreds and thousands of tiny mouths, each just big enough for a fairy to kiss ; which shows how small some fairies are. And one summer evening though why I should say summer I don't know, for it is always summer in Dreamland one evening one of the fish missed the fly it rose after, and the mimulus heard it say, " Just my luck ! " in such a disappointed tone, that he felt more sorry for it than he would have done for the fly if it had -been caught. In Dreamland they can THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 31 all talk to each other, and every flower speaks through its thousand tiny mouths at once, and that is why their voices are so utterly sweet like the Hallelujah Chorus in a whisper. So, as the mimulus could speak, he leant over the edge of his cradle, and said to the fish, " Do you always miss the flies like that ? " The fish was rather surprised to hear himself addressed by the baby flower ; but he answered, speaking in the language of flowers, " No, I hardly ever miss them. But I am not at all myself this evening." " Who are you, then ? " asked the Mimulus, a little puzzled. " It's not quite as easy to understand as it might be," replied the Fish ; " but it means that I'm quite different, without being anybody else, you know at least, not yet" 11 I'm sure that's not any simpler," said the Mimulus. " It's as simple as ever I can make it," said the Fish. " You see, this is a very sad evening for me. It is my last in this beautiful river of silver, and the thought of that upsets me so, that I can't even catch flies as I usually do." "Why," said the Mimulus, "what are they going to do with you?" " I don't know what they will do without 32 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS me," said the Fish ; " but I have had notice that to-morrow I must go down below, and become a trout. That will be more different than ever." " A trout ! " exclaimed the Mimulus ; " pray, what is that ? " " I'm sure I don't exactly know," replied the Fish; " but it appears to be something spotted." But the mimulus lay back in his cradle and thought, " How stupid of that fish to be sorry that he is going to see the great world down below ! I wish I were going down to- morrow. I wish I were going to be something spotted." And presently his blue bee came to feed him, and he refused to take his honey ; and when the bee asked what was the matter he only answered, " I want to be spotted." And this puzzled the good bee so that it had to sit down on the edge of the cradle and comb its fur with the comb all bees carry, for five minutes and forty-five seconds. And meanwhile a great moth, in a buff over- THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 33 coat, came crawling up one of the golden rods that the cradle hung on and said, " Hullo ! what's the matter ? " And the Mimulus said, " I want to be spotted ! " "Like me?" said the Moth, and it threw open its overcoat, showing itself all speckled with brown and gold ; and then it gave a great laugh and flew away into the night. And when the sun rose next morning the mimulus found that the moth had shaken off hundreds of its feathers over and about the cradle, every one of them shaped like a little spade or trowel, and the fairies had been amusing themselves by gathering them up and sticking them in patterns over his own red- brown coat. And when he saw that he cried out for joy, "I'm spotted ! I'm spotted ! " so loudly that King Longbeard, who had been sitting up all night nursing a sick violet, was quite annoyed by the disturbance. It was against all the rules and regulations of the nursery-garden for a flower to show any sort of unbecoming excitement. And so the King called for his robin-redbreast, who always takes the first solo at his Morning Concerts, and said, " Robin mine, what flower is that, making such a noise ? " c 34 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS And the Robin answered, " Please, your Majesty, I think it is the Mimulus in the cradle nearest the river." So the King said, " Fly away, then ; and tell him to be quiet." Away the robin flew, and gave the King's order, but the silly mimulus only grew more and more excited and noisy ; and so the King, finding that nothing else could be done with him, had him taken out of his cradle and given to one of the fairy-guards, who took him off, without his breakfast, to the lower world, and handed him over to the gardeners. Of course, people who think themselves wise, will tell you that it is all nonsense about the THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 35 flowers coming from a Dreamland above the sky, and that all flowers worth having are grown by gardeners here from seeds or cuttings. But if 36 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS you want to be really happy, you must not listen to such overwise people. Gardeners are the baby-flowers' ogres. When King Long- beard turned the wicked dandelion out of Dreamland, a gardener got hold of him ; and this gardener and another ogre, called a botanist, decided that he was quite too vulgar even for a ribbon-garden. So they took him and pressed him flat between the leaves of a book, and wrote over him these two awful words " LEONTODON TARAXACUM," and after that the doctors got him, and that was the end. I am sure that if the mimulus had known that, he would have been more careful. When the mimulus first found himself shut up in a garden, he felt more glad than sorry, because he had had no breakfast ; any flower that has to be sent down before breakfast being too weak to go anywhere alone. The gardeners fed him, at least ; though what they gave him was very different from what he had been used to, and though he might remain in the garden for years, and years, and years, he never could forget his dear blue bee, and the honey it used to feed him on. In the winter they put him into a gaudy red earthen pot, which he hated, because it did not suit his complexion ; but in THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 39 the summer they set him out in a bed, which he liked better, though it was not at all like his own old cradle of dream-silk. And, on the whole, he began to grow reconciled to the life, and became quite hardy and strong. But one day an awful thing happened. One of the gar- dener-ogres came and looked at him, and shook his head, and said in a gruff voice, " There's too muckle o' this mimulus here, whatever." And then he tore the poor plant out of his bed, and sent him flying right over the wall of the garden, where he fell down all limp and helpless, and grew weaker and fainter, and weaker and fainter, until at last he knew nothing. Now close by where he fell there passed a beautiful little river, that ran down, night and day, to keep the sea from forgetting the moun- tains : and this river belonged to a water-fairy named Bervie. They have called a town after her now but that's neither here nor there, but in Kincardineshire, and so we'll leave it there. Well, this fairy was going along her river bank, as she did every day, and she came past the wall of the garden just as the mimulus fell fainting outside it ; and being a good fairy though I need not tell you that, for have I not said she was a water-fairy? she flew to aid him. And so the first thing the mimulus be- 40 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS came conscious of was, that he was planted in a rich, soft, red-brown earth, nearly of his own birth-given colour : and through it there came tiny threads of bright, clear water, almost like the silver water of Dreamland, full of life for his thirsty roots. And over his head there was a lovely bower of golden broom, that was full of the humming of bees, deep and true as the singing of a Gospel ; and it reminded him of his dream-silk cradle : and as he wondered and gazed, he heard sounds of the music that only those that are loved of the fairies hear. And then, dancing, dancing down from the sky where King Longbeard lives, came a troop of the gauze-winged flies who wear brown jackets in March, and shine in rainbow and scarlet through summer. An awful Philistine caught one once, and called it a Detached Badger ; and so his name is written down in the blackest of all Black Books : but other folk call them Red Spinners. So these flies came (you can only imitate them with a body of alternate music and singing, two strands of a phoenix feather for tail, hackles from the Simorg of Kaf, and wings of woven dream-silk and of that only the shot-silk will do) they came dancing down to welcome the mimulus. But one of them came just the least little bit too far, and THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 41 touched the water with the tip of one of its wings ; and then up from the depths of the stream there came a flash of silver and brown, and on the surface appeared a magic ring that " By wide spreading did increase to nought." And out of the centre of the ring, as the fly darted upwards again, there came a small and dejected voice, that said, " Just my luck ! " When the mimulus heard that, he nearly jumped out of his new bed. Because, whether you are a Scotsman or a Maori, when you are at the other side of nowhere, the sound of a voice that you know comes like an arrow feathered with the plumes that grow nearest the heart of a stork. For a stork is the very para- gon of home birds, and the nearest thing to a Dutchman. And when the mimulus heard the voice, he knew it came from his old neighbour, the fish that had gone below to be a trout ; and the sound of it did him as much good as all the fairy's kindness ; and so he called out, just as he had done in Dreamland, that memorable evening before his banishment, " Do you always miss the flies like that ? " When the trout, in his turn, heard him speak, he recognised his voice at once ; and so he flashed up again from the bottom of the river, 42 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS so fast that he flew out into the air, where he had just time to catch sight of the mimulus. And as he fell back into the water again he shouted out, " Why, he's as spotty as I am ! What a guy ! " And then away he dashed down the stream like a shooting-star. But this made the mimulus very angry ; for, as every angler can tell you, it's not a pleasant thing to be laughed at by a trout. And so he called the wind-elves that made ripples on the water's face, and asked them to help to find him ; and the wind-elves came and asked which way the trout had gone. " Down towards the sea," said the Mimulus. " Then," said the Wind-elves, " we and the river will take you downwards to look for him. But remember, if once you come down, you can never go back again ; and you will never see Kerloch, or feel the mountain-joy." All this happened long, long ago. But, if you go down by Bervie Water on a fine summer day you may still see the trouts dashing up and down through the pools, and the foolish mimulus standing with its feet in the edge of the stream, anywhere between the sea and the place where the garden was, looking for its old acquaintance from King Longbeard's Dreamland. RIE BIRTHDAY CROW\ The Birthday Crown HE walls of King Longbeard's Castle rose up out of the very waters of that beautiful river of silver of which we have heard so much. The Castle had an inner and an outer court, and if you passed out by the great gate of the latter, you would come at once upon perhaps the most wonderful bridge that ever was built, and certainly the most beautiful ; for though the -great Forth and Brooklyn Bridges are very wonderful indeed, they are built of iron, and are very ugly besides ; and though there are great and beautiful bridges of stone in 46 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN Germany and Austria, they are none of them to be compared with this bridge, built of mag- nificent rainbows. It led from the Castle gate into the King's gardens, where the baby flowers were nursed. The King had a tiny daughter, whom he loved beyond almost everything else in Dream- land. He loved the wild flowers and the blue bees that took care of them, and the birds that sang in the woods. He loved his people, and all his sons and daughters, of whom he had a great many; but, next to the Queen, he loved the Princess Monica best. And when her birthday came round he called for all the fairies of Dreamland, and told them to build her a summer-house in the garden. Down here we build our houses of timber, and wood, and stone ; but this house was built of fairy stories, with windows of poems instead of glass. And as the fairies built, all the birds came and sang to them ; and the blue bees took turns to leave their charges and see how the work went on; and even the fishes in the river of silver popped up their heads out of the water, and cried, " We wish we could build like that ! " Seventy times that day the Princess Monica danced in and out, over the rainbow bridge, to see the fairies at work, with her birthday crown THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 47 on her head. Every year she had a new crown, more lovely than you can imagine, for it was made up of all the kind deeds she had done, and all the sweet words she had spoken during the past three hundred and sixty-five days. But the seventieth time she crossed the bridge was just as the fishes cried out ; and it made her laugh so much that she shook the crown from her head and it fell into the water, where it sank out of sight. Back she ran into the Castle, and told her father what had happened. "Oh, papa!" she said; "do you know? the little fisses have shouted my buffday crown off!" " What do you mean, darling ? " asked her father. " I mean, they wanted to build houses for their own selves, and so they shouted, and it was so funny! I didn't know fisses could shout." "Didn't you, my pet?" said her father. 4 8 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN " But what about the crown? You haven't lost it, surely?" " I fink it losted itself. 'Cos, you know, when the fisses shouted, I had just to jump and dance to let all my laughs out : and then it just tumbled off, and rolled into the water. I fink the little fisses ought to be very happy, playing with it." "But, my 'Possum," said the King, " that will never do. It is much too valuable for fishes to have for a plaything. Come along with me, and we will see what can be done to get it back for you." So he took her hand, and they both went out and stood on the bridge, and the King called for his trumpeter-gnat, and said to him, "Herald mine, fly down to the silver water and make proclamation to the fishes that whoever finds the Princess's crown shall be given the three things he wishes for most." When the fishes heard the gnat's message THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 51 they were all greatly excited. But though they swam up and down, and searched in every place they knew, they could not find the crown, for the river ran so fast and strong that it had swept it away for miles. Down it had gone, past the nursery-garden, past the fields where the grass grows that makes hay for the horses of the sun, and so it was borne into the whirling rapids, and at last into the depths of the slumber- pool, where it lay at the bottom. Up and down the river swam the fishes of crimson and gold ; but none of them dared ven- ture into the whirling rapids, and so they all came sadly back. But among them there was one little fish, whose coat was all of a dull brown, without so much as a crimson spot or a silver scale ; and when he saw the rest come back, he said, " Perhaps I could find the crown. I am so small, and my coat is so dull, that nobody cares for me ; and if I am dashed to pieces in the rapids, it will not matter to any one." The crimson and gold fishes laughed when they 52 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN heard him say this ; but he only laughed back again, and set off down the river. As he went along he heard a noise above him, and looking up, he saw something struggling on top of the water. He thought it might be a fly that was good to eat, and so he shot up to see ; but when he got there, he found it was one of the blue bees that had fallen in and was drowning. So he lifted the bee gently on his back and swam with it to the bank, where he landed it safely. " Little brown fish," said the Bee, " I thank you for saving my life : and tell me now what I can do for you in return ? " " Oh," said the Fish, " help me to find the Princess Monica's crown." " That will not be hard to do," said the Bee. " All that it needs is a brave heart. The crown lies at the bottom of the slumber-pool ; and if you make your way down there, I will come and help you." " But how shall I pass the whirling rapids and the falls in safety ? " said the Fish. THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 53 " Hold your breath, keep your tail quiet, and let yourself go," said the Bee, "and leave the rest to me." And then away he flew. So then the little brown fish swam on down the river ; and when he came to the whirling waters he shut his gills tight, and stiffened his tail, and wondered what would come next. The rapids took him and dashed him about, and bruised him sorely on the rocks, so that when at last he was swept over the falls into the slumber-pool he was quite senseless, and floated up on his back to the top of the water as if he were dead. But the blue bee was there before him, hover- ing over the pool ; and when it saw him come to the top it dropped a drop of its honey into his open mouth, and then all his life and strength came back, so that he danced through the water with joy. And then, at the bottom, perfect and unbroken, he saw the object of his search the Princess Monica's beautiful birth- day crown. So he dived down ; and now the honey had made him so strong that, small as he was, he carried the crown to the top with ease. But how to get it up the falls, and back to the castle that was the question. But the blue bee was there, and it was not alone. With it were twenty splendid dragon- 54 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN flies, radiant in armour of green and gold, and each bore in its mouth one of the diamond spi- ders that King Longbeard keeps to spin the dream-silk for the tiny cradles. And they came down round the crown in a fairy ring, and every spider laid hold of a point of the crown with a thread of dream-silk, and when the blue bee counted " One, two, three ! " away the dragon- flies flew with the crown into the air, and hung with it quivering over the crest of the falls. " Alas, poor me ! " said the little brown fish ; " the crown is gone, and I shall never get home again ! Blue bee, blue bee, come and help me ! " The bee had not gone far off, but only to one of the lower pools ; and at once it came back, and beneath it, rushing through the water, came Salmo Salar, king of all the fishes that swim. The little fish was terribly frightened when it saw him coming ; but the bee flew down to him and said, " Be brave, little fish. The salmon is a friend of mine, and has come to your aid ; and so, when he opens his mouth, swim fear- lessly in." The little fish did so ; and then the salmon put forth all his magnificent strength, and, with one mighty spring, leaped to the top of the falls, and darted up through the whirling rapids to the smooth-flowing water above. THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 55 Then he opened his mouth, and the little brown fish swam out, and was astonished at the sight that he saw. For all the red and gold fish had come down to meet him and escort him back ; and up in the air above the blue bee had arranged a triumphal procession. First went King Longbeard's own trumpeter-gnat to herald their coming ; next came a band of the sweetest singing-birds that could be found in all Dream- land ; then, in the midst of a perfect cloud of fairies, came the twenty dragon-flies with their diamond spiders, bearing the rescued crown ; and after them came, two and two, all the blue bees that could be spared from duty, with the little fish's friend and helper bringing up the rear. When they arrived at the Castle, the King and Queen, with all their children and all their Court, were standing out on the rainbow bridge to receive them ; and King Longbeard took the crown from its bearers and replaced it tenderly on the Princess Monica's head. Then he and 5 6 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN she went down to the side of the water, and the king called out, " Little brown fish, come and receive your reward." So the little brown fish swam up to the bank. " Now," said the King, " name your three wishes." " First," said the Fish, " I would like to be as brave as you are." " You are brave already," said the King, " but you shall be the bravest of all the fishes." " Then," said the Fish, " I would like to be as kind-hearted as the Princess Monica." " You are kind-hearted already," said the King, "but you shall be more loving than all the other fishes." " And then," said the Fish, " I would like to be able to build a house." When he said that, a sparrow in the band laughed so rudely that King Longbeard looked at him with anger, and then all his golden feathers fell off, and he lost his voice, and was sent down below, where he felt so mean that he never said anything but " Cheap ! cheap ! " to the end of his days. But the King said to the little brown fish, " You shall build houses beautiful houses, such as none of the other fishes will be able to build ; and, more than that, you shall be the THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 57 most beautiful fish that swims in the northern rivers. You shall be clothed with an armour of gold, such as the sparrow has lost, and from each of your scales shall shine all the seven colours of my rainbow bridge ; and your heart shall be filled with love for your wife and young ones, and the fins of your back shall rise into swords to drive away all who would hurt them." And all this latter part of my story has come really true. For when the turn of the little fish came to leave the river of silver, and come down into the lower world, it did not become a trout, like most of its more pretentious companions, but a stickleback. And to this day it is unap- proachable in its rainbow beauty, and we can do nothing but wonder at its nest-building powers, and the courage and devotion it shows in de- fending its family against all intruders. CONCCITLD MONKET. The Conceited Monkey IGH up on the hills that shut in the valley of Dreamland, is a wild and extensive forest, which (as I have already told you) is infested by wild beasts of all kinds, some of which, now and then, come down into the lower-lying country, and try to make trouble for the peaceful folk who live there. The monkeys are the 62 THE CONCEITED MONKEY most forward and annoying of all. Each of them thinks all monkeys wiser than the rest of the world, and himself the wisest monkey of the lot as, indeed, he certainly is. They are not generous enough to give all the trouble away to their neighbours : no, they keep plenty of it to use among themselves. And they can- not be complimented on living happily together, since the wisest monkey is always on the look- out to cheat and get the better of the others. This is a most unhealthy state of affairs, and brings on an illness known as " swelled head," which its victim always thinks something to be proud of, as it feels just like having a feather in one's cap. There had been a jolly row in monkey society. The aforesaid wisest monkey had just come home from a long visit to India, where he had been made a great deal of, and gave himself more airs than ever in consequence. The others had borne a great deal from him, in the way of bragging of his accomplishments. He had learnt reading, writing, arithmetic, short- hand, freehand drawing, cookery, and slojd ; had been round the world ; and had passed the seventh standard. Never was such a learned monkey ! The trouble began with his wanting to set THE CONCEITED MONKEY 63 up a school in the forest. He gave out the idea cautiously at first ; but we all know what becomes of even the most solemn secret, when once a monkey gets hold of it ; and so the very next day the rest of the tribe held a caucus (i.e., a meeting where every one takes the chair, and all speak at the same time), and decided that they were quite educated enough already. The other wisest of all monkeys got up and told him so. "Very well," said the would-be schoolmaster, whose name, by the way, was Hanuman " Then I won't tell you about what I saw in India." This appeal to their curiosity was too much, and so the caucus returned to its deliberations, and they withdrew their opposition so far as to agree to take a trial lesson from him. There was some discussion as to the subject, which was ended by the other wisest monkey remark- ing that since Professor Garner had been speak- ing disparagingly of monkey-talk, they had 64 THE CONCEITED MONKEY better go in for elocution. This was received with cheers, and Hanuman was invited to begin at once. " I thought you'd come round ! " he compla- cently observed. " Now, sit down, all of you, in front of me, and I'll begin with a recitation. It's a little thing of my own, called "AN ODE TO A-RUM SHRUB. " The poppies in the hedgerows twine ; The figs are ripening on the vine ; And the carnations columns tall O'ertop the violets on the wall ; While, down the path, its petals red Doth the majestic snowdrop shed ; And, where the emerald dahlia creeps, And laurestinus shyly peeps, The lily of the valley throws Its burly shade across the rose, Whose airy tendrils clasp the while The fairy Lily of the Nile." Here Hariuman stopped for applause. An THE CONCEITED MONKEY old baboon got up and walked away, followed by a few marmozets ; and an elderly spider- monkey in the second row remarked, " How sweetly pretty ! " Hanuman went on " O, Rose and Lily one, yet two ! Alike in perfume, form, and hue : Bright twins of nature and of art ; So hard to name when seen apart, And yet betraying to each sense, When joined, a subtile difference That makes each, each How is it ye, Like proverbed Love and Poverty, 66 THE CONCEITED MONKEY In mutual elusive flight Escape from one another's sight So oft, that e'en to join your names, A poet's utmost licence shames ? " 11 I'm sorry to interrupt," said the other wisest monkey, "but I must ask one question." " Ask away," said Hanuman. " Have you got a licence ? " said the other wisest. " Of course I have," said Hanuman. " How do you suppose I could write poetry without one ? " No reply to this was forthcoming, and so the orator went on again " The lily of the valley flings Its massive boughs in eddying rings ; The turncap lily's fruitage rare Pervades the circumambient air ; The treasured lily of Japan Spreads like a raven's diamond fan ; And the rathe water-lily's flowers Raise their long spears amid the bowers ; But memory bids me still recall The tiniest flow'ret of them all, And brings, to crown the sylvan pile, The fairy Lily of the Nile." Here the younger portion of his audience THE CONCEITED MONKEY rushed off in pursuit of a passing squirrel. Hanuman went perseveringly on " O fairy Lily ! Thou whose spots Show ruddier than the apricot's, I love to pluck thee, and to think How, oft on Boreal Nilus' brink, The ibis, lost in rapture, sips Rich draughts of nectar from thy lips ; Or how, in Cleopatra's vest Thy starry calyx used to rest, And reproduce, with pigments rare, The ebon glories of her hair. That now repeat themselves again In thy pale leaflets' golden rain." But 68 THE CONCEITED MONKEY By this time none of the monkeys remained but three grey-headed ourang-outangs, who were fast asleep, and the spider-monkey men- tioned above. Still Hanuman plunged boldly into his last verse " Give me no poppy's clambering trail ; The whorls of figs will not avail, Nor the carnation's dainty bell, Nor scarlet pansy-leaves, to tell The myriadth part of what my soul Would say. But long as snowdrops roll Their moss-grown stamens, and below The rhododendron-bulbs o'erflow, And dahlias hide their glimmering eyes, So long my careworn heart will prize Beyond the Rose's turquoise smile The fairy Lily of the Nile." " I should so like you to write those verses in my album," remarked the Spider-monkey, with a coquettish air. " No, thank you, ma'am," replied Hanuman ; " I leave that sort of thing to those who have nothing better to do. It seems to me I'm being thrown away here. They don't get anything out of me about India, however." And then he walked away in a state of profound disgust. He did not notice where he went, until he THE CONCEITED MONKEY 69 found himself on the edge of a great cliff, that rose some hundreds of feet in an almost sheer precipice, close behind King Longbeard's Castle, and was looking down into the Royal gardens. He could see the Castle standing below him, and the river of silver pouring from the cave and flowing by its walls, and the rainbow bridge that spanned it and led into the nursery-garden : and up through the air came a sound of the singing of thousands of birds, and, clearly to be heard through all, though not so loud, the humming of the wonderful blue bees. Sweeter, too, than the music of either birds or bees, came up the merry songs of a troop of children, who were playing in one of the fields by the river-side. It was the Princess Elsie's birth- day, and she was keeping it in company with her sisters and a number of child-fairies. A party of the King's workmen were busily em- ployed in the meadows farther down the river, making hay for the horses of the sun ; and, as the children sang, they joined in, and sang the 70 THE CONCEITED MONKEY same songs, with voices stronger than theirs, but just as sweet. Hanuman sat and listened, not at all because he in the least enjoyed the beauty and sweetness of it, but because he wanted to understand what it all could mean. This, however, he could not do, even though he was (as I have said) the wisest of all the monkeys wiser, in his own estimation, than even King Longbeard himself. A cousin of his, who had gone to live in York- shire, had sent him a most beautiful book for a present, with quantities of pictures of mill- chimneys, and coal-pits, and back-to-back houses, and excursions to Blackpool, besides advertisements of soap, and pills, and cocoa enough to make a Christmas Annual. And so, as he sat on the top of the cliff, and looked down into Dreamland, he thought nothing of its peaceful loveliness, or of the happiness of those who lived there ; but only of what a stupid, useless, behindhand sort of place it must be so utterly unlike the wonderful world re- vealed to him by his picture-book. "Why," he said to himself, " they know nothing abso- lutely nothing. I do believe those fellows down there never heard of such a thing as a strike in their lives, or of a school-board, or a caucus? Could one of them calculate the odds on a THE CONCEITED MONKEY 71 dog-race, or tell how to suppress a football referee?" And then a great idea came into his mind: and it was this that he himself would go down and set up a school in Dreamland. Now in the midst of the forest was a shop, kept by a fussy old magpie, and furnished with one of the most extraordinary collections of pickings and stealings you can imagine. She had rags, bones, and old bottles for sale ; second-hand books, and fourth- and fifth-hand clothes ; peppermint rock, and sham jewellery, besides an indescribable assortment of articles that no inland bird or beast would ever, in its right senses, think of using : and this was pro- bably the reason why she had had a board put up over her door with " PICA CAUDATA, DEALER IN MARINE STORES," inscribed upon it in the reddest of red letters. And it was to her that our monkey, having decided on the profession of schoolmaster, went for his outfit. First of all, he bought a college cap and gown ; and the latter was not of a dingy black, such as they wear in the English Universities, but of a lovely Aberdeen red : and the magpie assured him that it, and the cap with its red silk tassel, made him look as pretty as one of those sweet girl-students we meet in the streets 72 THE CONCEITED MONKEY of the Granite City. Then he bought a pen, which he stuck behind one ear, and a quire of copy-paper, and a slate and pencil, and a small piece of sponge, and a large piece of chalk, and a copy of " Butter's Spelling," and one of " Hamilton on Quaternions " ; and with these he started off into Dreamland. When he got there he made his way to an open piece of ground that lay between the gar- dens and the hay-fields, in the middle of which stood a tall beech-tree, and to the trunk of this tree he fastened a sheet of paper, on which he had written : " Knowledge is power." Lytton. " Man, know thyself." Out of my own head. TO THE INHABITANTS OF DREAMLAND. PROFESSOR ENTELLUS HANUMAN SEMNO- PITHECUS, A.P.E., Has opened an Academy For instruction in all the usual branches of a Polite Education, including SHORTHAND, COOKERY, SLOJD, AND FREEHAND DRAWING, MATHEMATICS, AROMATICS, AND RHEUMATICS, HYDROSTATICS, TACTICS, TICTAX, INCOME-TAX, OUTGO-TAX, STATISTICS, RETURNS, SHAG, AND CUT CAVENDISH. THE CONCEITED MONKEY 73 TERMS : Stalls . . . . .55. od. Reserved Seats . . 2s. 6d. Gallery and Pit . is. od. Children Half-price. Washing and Refreshments Extra. OPINIONS OF THE PRESS : " They come as a boon and a blessing to men." MacNibble &> Scrabbleum. " Worth a guinea a box." D. T. Screechem. " Grateful and comforting." Cocoaberry &> Co. " Matchless for the complexion." -Apples o Patti. Every Coupon is equivalent to a Policy for 2000. " And if that is not a fine, attractive adver- tisement," said the monkey to himself, " I should like to know what is : " and as he said so he struck his arms akimbo, put his head on one side, and walked backwards to admire his handiwork. But he forgot that the river ran not far behind him, and so in he tumbled with a splash and a yell that was heard by the Prin- cesses and their fairy companions. They ran and flew to the spot as fast as they could, but the current was so strong that it swept the poor monkey off down the stream, and he would have 74 THE CONCEITED MONKEY been speedily drowned for nothing that is not perfectly true can swim in that silver water if one of the haymakers in the field below had not jumped in and rescued him. The man bore the poor Professor, miserably draggled, and more dead than alive, to where the Princesses were standing. The Princess Geraldine, who was the eldest, desired him to be carried into the Castle, because every living thing in distress has a claim on King Long- beard's kindness ; while she bade a messenger- fairy fly on before to make all ready to receive him, and to prepare a warm draught of nectar THE CONCEITED MONKEY 75 for the haymaker. So the first thing the monkey knew was that he found himself snugly tucked into a comfortable bed, while a good- natured looking old fairy fed him with ambrosia out of a golden basin. (I should tell you that both nectar and ambrosia are made by the blue bees, and are what the fairies themselves live on.) His college cap had been lost in the river, and his pen had shared the same fate ; the rest of his school apparatus he had left on the grass under the beech-tree, but he could see his red gown hanging before the fire to dry. " Well," he thought to himself, " these are fine doings ! Here I am on a genuine feather- bed, between cambric sheets, under a silk counterpane, fed out of a golden basin with the 76 THE CONCEITED MONKEY jolliest stuff I ever tasted. What an important person I must be ! " Just at that moment the door opened, and the King's physician came in a handsome, pompous-looking old gentleman, dressed in a richly laced coat, with a three-cornered hat, and carrying an enormous gold-headed cane. He came over to the bed, pulled out his jewelled watch, and felt the monkey's pulse : then he opened his thermometer-case, and took his patient's temperature by putting the little glass tube under his armpit. This last operation rather frightened the Professor, who had never seen it done before, and thought the arm was going to be cut off ; but as the physician only went on to look at his tongue, and give the nurse directions about his diet, and then bustled off out of the room, he recovered his spirits, and thought to himself, " What a very important person I must be ! I hope he won't expect a fee from me ! " And not long after there came a gentle knock at the door, and the nurse said, " Come in." So in came the Princess Elsie, leading by the hand her little sister Princess Monica. " Monica wanted to see the sick monkey, nurse ; and papa said I might bring her," said the elder girl. THE CONCEITED MONKEY 77 " Want see sick mukkey, Nurnie," echoed the little one. " Yes, my darlings," said the Fairy ; " come and look at him, but don't stay long." When the monkey heard that, and guessed who his visitors were, he half-closed his eyes and tried to smile and look interesting, but failed so dismally in the attempt that Princess Elsie drew back, thinking, " What a dangerous, ugly beast ! " But she said aloud, " Poor fellow, I am glad he was not drowned. I must send him some of my birthday cake as soon as he is well enough to eat it." " N'yum-n'yum ! " thought the Monkey, but he said nothing. But the little Princess Monica had such a tender heart that she loved all animals, even the ugliest and fiercest : so she put out her wee handie and stroked the Professor's fur, and said, " Nice mukkey, p'etty mukkey ! Mukkey sick, me sorry ! " And then they went away, and as the door closed behind them the monkey thought, "What a VERY important person I must be ! I hope they won't expect free educa- tion from me ! " They had not long been gone when another knock was heard at the door, and there entered no less a person than King Longbeard himself. 78 THE CONCEITED MONKEY He had not on his golden crown or robes of state, but he looked so majestic, and the fairy nurse curtseyed so low before him, that the monkey knew who he must be ; so he said to himself, " This is going to be a big thing," and straightened himself out very stiffly, closed his eyes, and called up his most intellectual ex- pression. Now there was nothing more common than for the King to pay such a visit, for the whole business of his life was to strengthen the weak, and help the feeble, and set right what he found going wrong ; and it was no unusual thing for him to sit up whole nights if any of his dearly loved flowers, whom he trained for their life on earth, were out of sorts. So, of course, he came to look after his accidental guest ; and as soon as he saw him he knew that the dip in the river had done him more good than harm, and that all that ailed him was an attack of " swelled head," which never kills anybody and more's the pity ! So when he saw this, knowing that the Professor's illness was incurable, he gave a great sigh, and the monkey hearing him, thought, <( Dear me! His Majesty is deeply concerned. What a VERY important person I must be ! I wonder what he can think he's going to get from me gratitude, perhaps. THE CONCEITED MONKEY 79 Well, I might pay fees, and I could