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ARISTOCRAT ! 
 
 TRADES UNION ADVOCATE;- 
 
 COZiZiOQUIiil. FOEIYE, 
 
 RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED 
 
 1 
 
 TO THE iMEMBERS OF THE BOSTON TRADES '■ 
 UNION AND VICINITY. 
 
 WORKING WOMAN OF BOSTON. ] 
 
 BOSTON: j 
 
 PRINTED BY LEONARD W. KIMBALL. 
 
 . ] 
 
 1384. 
 
Enfored nccordini? to act of Conerrcfs, in the year 1F3-1, by Lfonard 
 W. Kimball, in tlie Clerk's Ullico of ilie District Court of Mossuclm- 
 setts. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 Rude am I in speecli, 
 An<l little blessed witli the phrase of schools, 
 For since these arms of mine had ten years pith 
 Until these few last hours they have used 
 Their dearest action in the busy kitchen.- 
 And little of this grreat world can [ speak, 
 Alore ilian pertains to feats of broils and stews ; 
 And therefore little shall I ?race jour cause. 
 Yet, unions, by your gracious patience, 
 I will a plain unvarnished tai deliver. 
 
 Shakspearc, new version. 
 
 On the morning of the Fourth of July while' view- 
 ing your arrangements preparatory to forming a pro- 
 cession, my attention was arrested by the conversa- 
 tion of two gentlemen at a little distance from the 
 place where I stood. I did not see them, but they 
 spoke with so much clearness and 'precision, and 
 their subject (the Trades Union) becoming more and 
 more interesting, and having determined to acquaint 
 you with it some time or other, I found no difficulty 
 in hearing and^committing to memory'the most im- 
 portant parts of it. But do not imagine, Unionists, 
 
 
vi FHEFACE. 
 
 can assure you that it was not the conversation in 
 it3 political bearing' whinh interested me, but that 
 part of it wherein the subject of complaint appeared 
 to resemble that of our working women. We know 
 nothings of aristocracy, democracy, whigism, or to- 
 ryism, or the good or bad effects of corporations, 
 charters, or paper currency.— But though ignorant 
 of these matters, as a body, we are by no moans 
 simpletons; and that there were certain customs and 
 practices creeping in among us contrary to a repub- 
 lic, was known and discussed by our working women 
 long before you thought of forming?a "'dangerous 
 combination." Until lately however, we were ig-nor- 
 ant of the cause of this change, — nor am I quite sure 
 that we possess a knowledge of the true cause even 
 now. But women will read the j)a])ers. We read 
 them for the purpose of finding out who, uitliin the 
 last week has been so unfortnnate'us to dio,'and wiiat 
 shocking murders, marriages, suicides, and outrages 
 have been perpetrated. But at the present day the 
 perpetrators of murders, marriages, suicides, &c., 
 seem to have suspended their operations in order 
 that Editors may liiivo more room to insert chapters 
 on (Inngrrous conibiniitions, and the usurpations of 
 the President ; so tluit we must read tliese chapters 
 
PREFACE. vii 
 
 or give up newspapers entirely. In these we hre 
 told concerning- the Trades Unionists, that they are 
 a set of fellows who have wickedly and feloniously 
 combined to accuse of aristocracy, &lc. Slc, our most 
 wealthy and enterprising citizens ; and also to perpet- 
 uate the present administration. They say also that 
 ouir*> President has commenced an unjust warfare 
 against the bank, intending to destroy its currency 
 which they say is the best in the whole world, and 
 that if suffered to accomplish his "mad schemes" 
 the annihilation of all branches of national industry 
 will be the consequence ; — that this stroke will fall 
 most heavily upon the working classes, as there will 
 be none of those great works going forward which 
 have had their birth and nourishment from the ex- 
 pansion of our currency by the banking system. 
 Tliat we must go back in our career 40 or 50 years, 
 and the working classes (men) must be content with 
 50 cents a day and much idleness besides, as there 
 will be little demand for labor. Now every word 
 of this is true for aught we know to the contrary. 
 But we read these accounts to our mothers and old 
 fashioned aunts and uncles, and they tell us that 
 the condition of the working classes 40 or 50 years 
 ago was in many respects better than at the present 
 
viii PREFACE. 
 
 day, for though money was scarce, and working men 
 and women did not receive more than half the pres- 
 ent amount of wages, yet heing very frugal in their 
 expenditures, and repuhlicanism heing very plenty 
 and inucli in fashion among the liigher classes, tliey 
 always had enough to oat and wear, felt extremely 
 independent and were far more virtuous in the msin 
 than they arc now. They furtiier declare that in 
 tliose days Mechanics were not called "lower or- 
 ders," nor were working women called Servants or 
 required to consider themselves of lower origin than 
 their employers. They say that riches and pride go 
 hand in hand, and that hoth these have increased in 
 ahout the same ratio for the last 15 or 20 years, and 
 in their opinion will continue to increase till Ameri- 
 ca is as rich, and as proud, and her working classes 
 as degraded as any nation of Kluropo. But it is said 
 that the aged arc prejudiced in favor of old times, 
 and view all modern improvements with extreme 
 jealousy. This m;iy he true, hut in many respects 
 our own ohservations correspond so exactly with 
 their t«-'stimony that we are convinced tliere is a lit- 
 tle truth somewhere hetwcen us. I helieve it is 
 ahout 7 or 8 years since we were told that our coun- 
 try was growing rich on a large scale, that all clas- 
 
rUEFACF,. ix 
 
 ses, but particularly tlio workinfr classes, would be 
 benefited, because all kinds of work would be abun- 
 dant, and because employers could alford to give 
 great compensation for labor. Tbat America ex- 
 cept in distinction of ranks and oppression of tlie 
 poor would soon be on a par with other nations. 
 Now whatever other classes may have been benefit- 
 ed by these means, it is pretty certain that the class 
 of females who Avork in families have not. But 
 quite the contrary ; for before our country became 
 so rich it was not thought at all degrading to live in 
 families, consequently many very intelligent and re- 
 spectable girls were found in kitchens. But branch- 
 es of national industry on the one hand, and the 
 increasing pride of our gentry on the other, have 
 driven them away, so that (comparitively speaking) 
 there are but few good American girls who have 
 courage enough to fill those stations which are in 
 themselves honorable, and the best calculated to 
 make working women what they ought to be.-T-We 
 hear much about this " age of intellect," and about 
 the human mind every where bursting its fetters, 
 and marching abroad in the bright sunshine of knowl- 
 edge and mental independence, and yet it is not 
 uncommon to hear lectures on the respect due to 
 
X PREFACE. 
 
 those of a " superior station," and that feelings of 
 itidopcntlcncc and equality do not become servants 
 or persons of low origin, that servants should feel 
 very grateful to their employers for the privileges 
 they enjoy, &:c. But what privileges? not great 
 compensation, for considering tlie prosperous state of 
 the country, and the amount of labor we perform — 
 this is a mere pittance. It is true many of us live 
 in ]av<u2 and elegantly furnished houses ; but thoj^< 
 apartments appropriated to our use are not ahvay.s 
 contrived or fitted up with a view to our comfort or 
 convenience. But iudifPerence with respect to wliere 
 we sleep, or work, or by what names we are called, 
 would be excellent philosophy and which we might 
 practice perhaps with much cheerfulness if wo might 
 still be considered politically equal, or if the term 
 servants were applied to us in the same sense that 
 we apply it to our clergymen, or governors, wiiom 
 we call i)ublic siMvants, and to whom we usually 
 show superior respect and attention. But this is not 
 the case ; for the term as applied to us is always ac- 
 companied with other marks of humiliation too plain 
 to be misunderstood. But working women are not 
 the only class who suflor from this state of tilings. 
 Those among the rich who iuive not adopted these 
 
TREFACE. xi 
 
 obnoxious practices and who do not wisii to impress 
 on tlie minds of independent women, notions of men- 
 tal or civil degradation.* These and many among 
 the middling classes, often suffer severely for want 
 of female assistance, which cannot be procured, be- 
 cause our women consider the making themselves 
 useful in families, is nothing more or less than down- 
 right servitude. Now if the newspaper statements, 
 the word of the aged, and our own observation may 
 be depended on, 1 think there is some reason to be- 
 lieve that these practices of which w^e complain have 
 also had tlieir birth and nourishment from the expan- 
 sion of branches of national industry, and although 
 we do not wish their destruction, we think if they 
 cannot be sustained but by the degradation of so 
 important a class as our working women, that all 
 good men will acknowledge they are paying for their 
 country's glory at a very high rate. 
 
 But notwithstanding these apparent proofs, there 
 are many persons, who, while they acknowledge 
 that improper distinction of ranks are becoming the 
 
 * I speak of working women in general, no doubt there are 
 many individuals among us who would prefer degradation and 
 self-abasement were the state of society ever so good. Those 
 of course can have no part or lot in this matter. 
 
xii I'KKIACK. 
 
 order of the day, account for it in quite a different 
 manner. They say that instead of deprecating na- 
 tional industry and throwing the blame on tlie rich, 
 tiiat the working classes should consider this distinc- 
 tion as originating from their own indifference and 
 lethargy. That the ricli from much intercourse witli 
 the gentry of foreign nations, and from having ac- 
 tually made great proficiency in all kinds of knowl- 
 edge, have outstripped us. That although the means 
 of general and useful information have been within 
 the reach of every man and woman we have rather 
 prefered npcing the rich in superfluites of dress, &c., 
 to the more important and substantial imitations of 
 mental culture, and higiily ornamented minds. 
 
 That the beauty and stability of a republic de- 
 pends much on the intelligence of the common peo- 
 ple, and that every attempt at advancement on the 
 part of the rich, should be followed by a correspond- 
 ing one on our side. But if our working men prefer 
 jogging, &LC. <.Vc., and our women prefer imitating 
 our ladies' French wardrobes, to cultivating their 
 minds in order to maintain an iiulependent station, 
 then say they, instead of blaming the rich as usurp- 
 ers of natural rights, they are to be commended tor 
 monopolizing all those choice scraps of our liberty 
 
PREFACE. Xiii 
 
 which we have neglected to improve. They say, 
 that to throw ourselves on the rich to be taken care 
 of is altogether unbecoming a nation of freemen, 
 whose proudest boast should be their capability to 
 take care of themselves. Now Unionists, which of 
 these statements, suppositions, and opinions comes 
 nearest the truth, I shall leave for you to determine, 
 for I suspect your patience with me is about gone. 
 But I have just laid my hand on a scrap of Ancient 
 History which I ask leave to present to your notice 
 as being very similar to these last remarks. It is 
 this. When Agesilaus marched through the coun- 
 try of the Thracians, they presented him with corn, 
 sweetmeats, cheesecakes, and all kinds of delicacies, 
 both of meat and drink. He accepted the corn, but 
 commanded them to give the rest to the slaves, and 
 when some one asked the reason, he replied : Those 
 who profess bravery should not meddle with many 
 superfluities, and whatsoever takes with slaves can- 
 not be agreeable to the free. It is true this anecdote 
 belongs to a barbarous age, but I think it furnishes 
 a pretty good hint to us, that, if we are not slaves, 
 but a brave and free people, and if watchfulness and 
 intelligence is the price of entire liberty, we should 
 reject all things which stand in the way of these as 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 (luito unworthy the attention or regard of American 
 men and women. But above all things, Unionists, let 
 us reject the doctrine of being taken care of by the 
 rich in any other way than by a fair exchange of 
 our respective commodities or ungratefully accept- 
 ing their kindness in the event of calamity or illness. 
 
A COLLOaUlAL POEM.' 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Freedom ! Fair Goddess ! with her glorious train 
 Strews her gay pageants o'er yonder plain ; 
 Her bands of troops their martial airs display, — 
 Her cymbals clash and warlike trumpets bray; — 
 And all that greets the ear or meets the sight 
 Sounds patriotic, — looks most dazzling bright; 
 'Mongst all her festivals, parades and show, 
 Which suits your views the hesil 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 I hardly knov\'. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Our whigs' parade is splendid, it is said. 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 But there I should not like to risk my head. 
 If they on Jackson's head no mercy show. 
 Would not a Jackson man's be sure to go 1 
 
16 A COLLOQIIAL POKM. 
 
 \ ; : :,• . . jiAristocrat. 
 
 .Il4iil.Lha\w kjnow-n you were a Jackson man, 
 ; T^its cui>vopfi<iHo'n; sir, had not begun. 
 Then I suppose instead of whigs' parades 
 Your theme will be the Union of the trades. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Yes, could I luivc that steeple for my (inill, 
 Could I with choicest ink Ciiarles river fdl, 
 Paper enough to cover Boston o'er, 
 Of first rate mind five hundred yards or more, 
 Then from among fair freedom's gay parades 
 My theme would be the Union of the trades. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 The only men who choose such foolish themes 
 Are those of little minds and stinted means. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 T own my powers are of the humblest class; 
 liul who can see this sturdy phalanx pass — 
 Their standards waving with a gentle flow, — 
 Their apt devices, mottos, and the glow 
 Of conscious w<Mtli, and ^trenmh which seem to rest 
 On all their featmes, animates their breast, 
 Their manly step, their foims and heads erect, 
 So well becoming Boston's architects. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 17 
 
 I think unless a man were really (hnnb, 
 
 He could not see them pass, and hold his tongue. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 . Your martial speech, bombastic eloquence, 
 Would ill become a man of better sense. 
 To throw away upon a puling babe, — 
 A little infant of the Union trade 
 That never show'd its head abroad before. 
 Or ventured scarce to step beyond the door. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 If in this host we but the baby see, 
 
 what a giant wdl its manhood be ! 
 Aristocrats and certain others then. 
 
 Will find they grapple not with babes, but men. 
 
 1 am not gifted with a prophet's eye, 
 But let me venture, sir, to prophecy 
 That this poor babe to-day will light a fire 
 That will not soon diminish or expire. 
 How is it, sir, that men who make pretence 
 To dignity, high rank, superior sense. 
 
 Can call these men — 
 These who are passing now your very door, 
 The lower orders, or the mean, the poor, — 
 These props and pillars of your wealth and state — 
 These on whose toil you thrive — luxuriate — 
 2* 
 
18 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 When ihcy a monument or pillar raise, 
 Tlie mnrhlc or the granite get your praise. 
 Yotn' splendid houses too seem duly prized; 
 ^\'hy are llic Injildt-rs then so much despised T 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 I'll tell you, sir, we have no fault to find 
 With them as builders, — 'tis their low caste mind. 
 You know the times arc changed and now require 
 The rich to raise themselves a little higher; 
 It is not pride, but maimers more refined, — 
 Progressive intellect, — the march of mind. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Indeed ! ! if what you say be really true, 
 Why may not these progress and march on too 1 
 Think you because their implements of trade 
 , Of iron, lead, or wood, or stone are made, — 
 Think you this nol)le band of architects 
 Have leaden heads or wooden intellects ? 
 
 AUI.^TOCRAT. 
 
 Were our lamented iSpurzheim with us now, 
 lie could much light upon this sitbject throw. — 
 'Twas his opinion, sir, (und he was wise) 
 That when on heads some organs seemed to rise 
 Above the rest — 'twere easy then to find 
 Whiit calling suited Im'sI the ptTson's mind — 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 19 
 
 Whether the pulpit, physic, or the law, 
 
 The arts and sciences, — the trades, or war. 
 
 Now, sir, if this philosophy is good, 
 
 These men have bumps for iron, lead, and wood : 
 
 Hence comes their choice of various crafts and trade, 
 
 For which no doubt they were expressly made. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 This doctrine of the skull you misconstrue; 
 Spurzheim allowed that lesser organs too 
 Might be improved, and often brought to vie 
 Willi those which at the first appeared so high. 
 He nowhere said or wrote that Heaven designed 
 The rich to make monopoly of mind. 
 Besides, if in your way we demonstrate. 
 What will become of our great Franklin's pale 1 
 For he was of this class whom you despise. 
 Yet was he greatly learned, and justly prized. 
 Your father's father learned a mason's trade — 
 Does that your family or rank degrade 1 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 I told you, sir, the change was in the times. — 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 I tell you, sir, the change is in your minds. 
 Were Spurzheim here no doubt he would have said 
 That these same chaps present as fine a head, — 
 
20 A COLT.OQUIAL TOEM. 
 
 And forehead as complete, as nicely ca5t, 
 
 As those he saw among the higher class. 
 
 Til ink not because they work on stone or steel, 
 
 They have not heads that think or hearts that foci. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Admitting then that these have intellect 
 Like us, jirogrcssive, and in that respect 
 Are (pialified with us to take their place, 
 Still I contend 'twould be a dire disgrace. 
 I lately heard a master workman say, 
 Tliat give these men two leisure hours a day 
 And off they'd jog 
 And use it up in revelling and grog, 
 If they their morals shamefully neglect. 
 Then what avails their strength of intellect 1 
 I hear these fellows mean to legislate — 
 But are such fit to guide the helm of state. 
 Who cannot steer themselves two hours straight? 
 Forbid it, heaven, that we should ever see, 
 Our country ruled by drunken anarchy. 
 'Tis quite enough that through one tyrant's power, 
 Her cliildrcn's wrongs are heightened every hour. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 That workman whom you (juote, I know his name, 
 And would reveal it, but I spare his shame. 
 Upon this Union l)abc he longs to stamp, 
 
A C'OLUXjriAL rOKM. 21 
 
 And all its energy and spirit cramp, 
 
 He has no honor though he may have sense ; — 
 
 We mnst not take this fellow's evidence. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Dismiss it then — but would you have me think 
 That 'mongsi tliese men there's none who spend in drink 
 And base carousals, all their leisure hours, 
 Degrade their minds and enervate their powers? 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 If every other member were a sot. 
 Nor should I dare protest that they are not. 
 Would it be right to implicate the whole 
 Because one half in beastly folly rolU 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Then is it right, etiuitable, or wise, 
 A body politic to organize, 
 When even its partizans have doubts at least, 
 Whether one half are virtuous men, or beasts; 
 Or should we call those men's intentions pure 
 Of whose firm goodness we cannot be sure 1 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 When our rich men in bodies organize, 
 Are they selected from the good and wise 1 
 But, sir, this question will you answer first. 
 Would it be kind or generous or just 
 
22 A COLLOQllAL POEM. 
 
 To take from your proud ranks the sons of weulih — 
 
 All who in nightly revels waste their health, 
 
 And all who cheat or lie, desU'oy tlieir fame, 
 
 Or get their heads bamboozled with champaigne, — 
 
 Would it be just I say to make these pass 
 
 Fur a fair sample of our highest class 1 
 
 For we have yet (and gracious heaven be thanked) 
 
 Some men among us of the highest rank. 
 
 Of generous minds, good manners, and good name. 
 
 Of whom even Unionists would not com|)lain; — 
 
 And numbers too of those who bend tlic knee 
 
 To hydra-headed aristocracy. 
 
 VVoulil they but tear their idol from its base 
 
 And worship our republic in its place. 
 
 No one could scruple to confer on them 
 
 'I'he title of our 'native' noblemen. 
 
 15ut ill yi)ur \ic\va I tliiuk there's some mistake. 
 
 These men do nut intend to legislate 
 
 Nor yet themscUcs to guide the helm of state; 
 
 Nor does political or party creed 
 
 Their motives actuate or their measures lead. 
 
 ARlSTOfUAT. 
 I'ray tell us, sir, what are their motives then^ 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 INIerely to claim tluir biriln ighl as freemen. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 23 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 A strange excuse! quite plausible indeed! 
 But one which no American should need. 
 Does Fi'eedom scatter with more sparing hand, 
 Her gifts and blessings on this Union band 
 Than on their fathers who preceded theml 
 Does she forget the rights of working men ? 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Against fair Freedom, just impartial dame, 
 I would not have you think our men complain ', — 
 But 'gainst a host of proud, ambitious men 
 Who filch from her those gifts she meant for them. — 
 They thinking fi-eeraen's rights could not be seized. 
 Allowed the rich to govern as they pleased; — 
 Left them to manage th' affairs of state — 
 Almost exclusively to legislate; 
 And each pursuing his respective trade. 
 Dreamed not that yankees would their rights invade; 
 But now just rising from their dang'rous sleep. 
 They find if freemen would their birth-right keep, 
 They must not to the rich be slaves or delves. 
 But watch their rights and liberties themselves. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Thifl fine excuse^of theirs is nothing worth, 
 'Tia faction, sir, base faction sends them forth. 
 
24 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 There's some vile mischief plotter at their head, 
 
 By whose advice their rebel sprites are led. 
 
 If they believe their rights have been betrayed, 
 
 Instead of combinations or parade — 
 
 Instead of making such a public fuss. 
 
 Why don't they peaceably complain to us 1 
 
 There must be mischief brewing when we find 
 
 The lower orders in such clubs combined; 
 
 Our men who have their country's good at heart. 
 
 In combinations never take a part: 
 
 'Tis not alone th' result of private thought 
 
 That Union schemes are with much danger fraught, 
 
 For men of wisdom, knowledge, mighty mind. 
 
 Who injudicial lore are quite refined. 
 
 And who, on points like these, are qualified 
 
 The public mind and judgment to decide — 
 
 Our Judges, lawyers, all our learned men 
 
 With one accord these Union trades condemn: 
 
 And some have thought we could these men indict. 
 
 And put their airj' dreams at once to flight. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 'Twere easier, sir, 
 Leviathan from his briny bed to urge, 
 Or bound the mighty ocean's swelling surge. 
 Or great Niag'ra's foaming torrents stem. 
 Than check this movement in our working men. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 25 
 
 The time has passed when learned men aiid those 
 Led sense and reason blind-fold by the nose : 
 When reason now her glorious light unfolds. 
 And o'er the human mind her cm|)ire holds; 
 From her dominion, sir, she will not budge 
 For lawyers, learned men, or learned judge. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 'Tis insurrection, sir, and party spite, 
 Tliese Union men mistake for reason's light: 
 Reason from good allegiance never draws, 
 Or teaches subjects to defy the laws. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 When Britian's monarch, in an evil hour. 
 Resolved to aggrandize and stretch his power. 
 And make his colonists like menials yield. 
 Our patriot fathers bravely took the field: — 
 Was it rebellion, sir, and party spite 
 These men mistook for reason's sober 1 ight "? 
 Or did base faction urge them on to war, 
 And bid defiance to their country's law '? 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 Our patriot fathers, sir, do you not know. 
 Engaged in strife t' expel a foreign foe ; 
 They did not rise, as Union trades have done. 
 Against their friends and government at home. 
 3 
 
26 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Tliis love of domination is the same, 
 Tlio only tliflfrence is in place and name; 
 Our patriot sires the < Union band' of yore 
 Demanded ' e(inal rights,' — these ask no more. — 
 They from long sufTcring had recourse to arms — 
 These Unions scarce have breathed the first alarms; — 
 They march not forth with staves, or spears, or swords, 
 Presumptuous airs, or bold and daring words, 
 But like the grateful, happy, brave, and free. 
 To celebrate thcirnation's jubilee. 
 Nor have these Union trades the least intent 
 To rise 'gainst friends, or foes, or government. 
 Nor do they laws or learned men despise. 
 Or set at naught (he judgment of the wise; — 
 They will accomplish all their ' airy dreams,' 
 Not by illegal, but by lawful means. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 While of small numbers and small power fwssessed, 
 Silence, they think, becomes them much the best; 
 IJut if with lime their luiiubers shoulil increase 
 They'll not rcs|>cct llie laws or public peace. 
 
 .\DVOCATE. 
 
 The more their power and their numbers grow, 
 The greater order will these Unions show; 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POF.M. 27 
 
 For when their motives are well umlerstood, 
 
 More men will join them from the wise and good: 
 
 Ah'eady they have members, good and just, 
 
 Who dared not ventmo in their ranks at fir.st ; 
 
 But 'dangerous comhinations' since have joined, — 
 
 Espoused their cause with hand and Itcart and mind. 
 
 I read an English print, (last month, I believe. 
 
 Which print perhaps you every week receive,) 
 
 From which a statement will not come amiss 
 
 To prove my point; — the substance, sir, was this: 
 
 In England a report was spread abroad 
 
 That hosts of ' Union trades' were on the road, — 
 
 That their professed intention was to bring 
 
 Some paper or petition for the king ; 
 
 But if to strike at government they chose. 
 
 No power in England could their force oppose; — 
 
 That though unarmed, their numbers might alone 
 
 O'erturn the parliament and W^illiam's throne. — 
 
 Old ladies frightened, up the chimney sj)ed, — 
 
 Grave magistrates looked stern, and shook their heads — 
 
 Donn'd their official ro6es and periwigs. 
 
 And sat them down with expectation big; 
 
 And magisterial pomp on judgment seat 
 
 All cap-a-pie, the rebel trades to meet; — 
 
 And turned down leaves where Lyttleton and Coke 
 
 Wrote laws to try seditious Union folk: 
 
 Nor was this all, — the king to reinforce 
 
 The civil power, had ordered troops of horse 
 
28 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 And regiment detachments on parade 
 To quell the tumults of the Union trade. 
 Now listen, sir, — the Unions marched along, 
 A mighty host, — one hundred thousand strong — 
 Received and followed by a monstrous mass 
 Of common folk, who cheered them as they passed ;- 
 Who to the Unions joined could soon o'erwhehn 
 All law and order in fair England's realm ; 
 For England's army, if compared with these, 
 Would seem no larger than a host of fleas; — 
 But mark the conduct of the Union trades. 
 They wished not tumults, cheerings, or parades. 
 But urged the multitudes to hold their tongue, 
 Nor even cheer them as they passed along. 
 So light and noiseless did these Unions pass. 
 One might suppose they marched o'er eggs or glass ; 
 And having finished that f(jr which they came. 
 They formed, and (piietly inarched back again. 
 Then magistrates again disrobed themselves, — 
 Put Cuke and Lyttleton back on their shelves; 
 And lawyers, learned men, and learned judge, 
 To their own homes began their stately trudge : 
 No doubt deep chagrin overspread their face. 
 That ' I'nions' gave them si\rii a wil(l-goosc-cha5C. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 From Cobbctt's paper — 'tis not worth a fig. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 29 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 No, no, dear Sir, the paper is a whig, — 
 A famous journal called the London Times, 
 And no great friend to workmen who combine. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 If such a statement in the Times appeared, 
 No doubt 'tis true, and then your point is cleared. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Now if these men by mere combining trades. 
 Call from your lips such speeches, such tirades. 
 Factious, rebellious, mischief brewing elves. 
 What better title can you take yourselves 1 
 This combination, sir, is one effect 
 Of those examples our great men have set. 
 Judges and Lawyers have long been combined. 
 In spite of intellect or march of mind. 
 Why should you not these very men indict. 
 And every one who claims a chartered right, 
 Who their own elevation to secure 
 Have made such factious rebels of our poor. 
 Those who teach others should themselves excel ; 
 And those who preach, be sure they practice well. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 When we in companies associate, 
 'Tis for the public good, to enrich the state. 
 
30 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 Does not our country owe her glorious rise, 
 
 To active men whose wealth and entcrprize 
 
 Have turned her vast resources to account, 
 
 And raised their value to a large amount 1 
 
 Consider, sir, our manuflicturing towns, 
 
 Once sprinkled o'er with cattle, ploughs, and clowns. 
 
 Now woollen-factory looms, and cotton-mills, 
 
 With wealth and thrift our country's coffers fill. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Those who to opulence their country raise. 
 Most certainly deserve their country's praise. 
 But there are many, sir, who long have thought, 
 That great men's sciienies are with much danger fraught. 
 Their high demeanor and tlieir haughty swell 
 Sends whisperings to our cars — all is not well. — 
 We had much rather see our country poor 
 Than have her sons such arrogance endure. 
 We rather see the farmer with his plough 
 Than those vast works from whence your riches flow. 
 The simple ringing of a fact'ry boll, 
 To some men's cars is Freedom's funeral knell. 
 You say the rich in joining trades profess 
 The public good; — well, Unions tlo no less. 
 They urge their drunkards never more to jog 
 To use up time in reveling and grog. 
 They urge their strong to rou.«o the dull and weak. 
 And each the welfare of the other seek. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 81 
 
 To cultivate their niinils, inspire their zeal 
 To take some interest in tiieir country's weal. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 There were no Unions in their father's day, — 
 Why should these think themselves more wise than i!;< v 
 Their fathers' zeal never rose to such a pitch ; 
 Their fathers never railed against the ricli, — 
 But now if there's a few more rich than they, 
 Then railing makes the order of the day. 
 Their fathers lived contented with their lot, 
 Pursued their quiet course and murmured not. 
 Such were mechanics in my grandsire's time, 
 And 'twould be better were they such in mine. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 But, sir, yon do not choose yourselves to plod. 
 The same old-fashioned paths your fathers trod. 
 You deem it right for you to explore new tracks. 
 But say to working classes " you stand buck ; " 
 Forgetting that a change in our rich men 
 Must work a corresponding change in them. 
 They see their rich have changed that every hour, — 
 They push the working classes lower and lower; — 
 They see them stretch their necks to meet the skies, 
 Authority and wealth monopolize. 
 They see them frown, and hear them scold and roar. 
 Because a workman rings at their front door. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL TOEM. 
 
 They fear some chain is forging wlien they find 
 All higher orders in such clubs combined. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 'Tis envy low, mistrust and jealousy, 
 Which ill Ijcconie your " happy," " brave" and free. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 Rut it beromcs your men of mighty mind 
 To say our trades for mischief have combined. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 I some suspect they rather wisli to shine 
 In drawing-rooms, and at great tables dine. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 O no, indeed, nor yet the next extreme, 
 From great men's tables, bones and crumbs to glean. 
 Nor do they wish to talk or ride or dance. 
 Or dress or feast like gentlemen of France. 
 They only wish their station to maintain. 
 And for tlu-ir labor proper payment gain. 
 They cannot see why men who work at trades 
 Should be denominated " lower grades." 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 The cause is this : the (dder nations grow. 
 The plainiT arc lliosc lines which serve to show, 
 The rich and well bred from tlie poor and low. 
 
A COLLOQUIAL TOEM. 83 
 
 We do possess a right some bounds to fix, 
 That higher ranks with lower may not mix. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 You reason falsely. Have tlie lower tribe 
 Resigned their rights to you to circumscribe 'J 
 It needs you know, the nation's whole consent, 
 To change the basis of our government. 
 The men who reared its fabric, sir, were wise; 
 We need not ciiange, or alter, or revise. 
 If I this subject rightly understand, 
 All ranks are equal in our happy land. 
 None can of right draw one exclusive line, 
 Or say this rank is ours, or that is thine. 
 Men of great minds great virtues and great sense, 
 Should in all countries take the precedence. 
 Wealth of its own accord is sure to raise 
 For its possessor, deference and praise. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 If deference and praise round rich men spring. 
 And of their own accord these offerings bring, 
 And they accept them, how can you condemn 
 Or call them proud monopolizing men 1 
 Or how can you, a leveler of ranks. 
 Allow our rich or learned men complaisance 1 
 How two suclfopposites can be sustained, 
 I feel quite anxious, sir, to hear explained. 
 
34 A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 
 
 ADVOCATE. 
 
 For C'uml raiikd I earnestly conlcnJ, 
 Dill ciiiial tsliaies of wealth do not commend: 
 Yoii recollect this system has been tried, 
 And like all other " rotten systems," died. 
 No man of sound or well enlightened mind. 
 Or who possessed much knowledge of mankind 
 Would ever advocate — much less devise — 
 A plan so visionary, — so unwise. 
 The life of all society retiuire 
 Such men as aim at riches to aspire; 
 And hy ihcir prudence, industry and skill, 
 Or fair iidicritance their purses fdl: 
 Now all mankind arc much in love with gold, 
 And hence it is that men who riches hold 
 Are tacitly, — allowed much comjjlaisance, 
 And yet no homage or superior ranks 
 We must have judges, lawyers, learned men, 
 To plead in virtues cause and vice condemn ; 
 To try us when we pinch or kill our wives. 
 Or put in jeopardy our neighlwr's lives; 
 Or set his barn or dwelling-house on Cue ; 
 Or call each other ' booby,' ' goose,' or ' liar.' 
 These are entitled to our high respect, 
 Both for the sake of law and intellect. 
 And all the deference which freemen show, 
 And all tlir praise which does sjiontancous llow 
 
A COLLOQUIAL POEM. 35 
 
 To rich, or learned, is consistcnl (juile 
 
 With our republic, and with equal right. 
 
 But when our learned or wealthy arrogate 
 
 To their own selves great dignity or state, 
 
 And peaceful independent trades indict. 
 
 And scorn the doctrine of their equal right. 
 
 Who think they have a right some bounds to fix. 
 
 That lower ranks with higher may not mix. 
 
 This is insulting freemen, and beside, 
 
 Is aristocracy and high tcned pride. 
 
 This is a foreign weed and will not thrive 
 
 Upon a soil where none but freemen live. 
 
 In vain they plant in vain expect to see 
 
 Its tender germs become a stately tree: 
 
 For while they watch with care its opening blades, 
 
 This factious mob, of plebian. Union Trades 
 
 Will rise and tear away its tender shoots. 
 
 And trample down at last its noxious roots. 
 
 ARISTOCRAT. 
 
 But now, good sir, the clock is striking two, 
 The trades have long since past; — good bye to you. 
 
The Printer regrets that an anxious public 
 have been so long deprived the privilege of see- 
 ing this little Poem : — he hopes, however, their 
 high expectations of a rich entertainment from 
 its perusal will be fully realized. 
 
 The manuscript was put into his hands last 
 August ; but circumstances have rendered it 
 impracticable to issue it sooner. 
 
 December. 1834. 
 
 > 
 
m 
 
V l.WW 
 
 9533^7 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY