WITS AND THE
s~ WOMAN .
~m VIOLET IRWIN
WITS AND THE WOMAN
WITS
AND THE WOMAN
BY
VIOLET IRWIN
Author of "The Human Desire"
ILLUSTRATED BY
CHRISTINE T. CURTISS
BOSTON
SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
PUBLISHERS
Copyright, 1919,
BY SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
(INCORPORATED)
TO
MY FRIENDS IN KHAKI
AND THEIR STERN ADVENTURES
2136470
WITS AND THE WOMAN
CHAPTER I
Call me one, if you like, at the end of the first
chapter and drop it. No apologies by request ; and no
hurt feelings; for, if I'm not prevaricating, I'm not
aiming to make converts or to start anything either.
Societies of Coalescent Souls and the Affinity Afflatus
don't exist for little Clarissa. They smack of Wash-
ington Square, and she's spent enough of her young
life in that neighborhood, and doesn't hanker ever
to cross its mental or material diagonals again. So
this story is just a sorting out, for my own satis-
faction, of the experiences of two eventful years;
and it's going to be done on my own method, regard-
less. Of course if you clap several thousand words
between two covers, it becomes a book, and the author
thereof breaks into the literary ring. I can't dodge the
issue. But I'd hate to think of anybody wasting a
dollar and a half on my account and being disap-
pointed, so I'll tell the high-brows right off the bat
this is no place for them.
My tale is a good tale, a ninety-five horse power,
twelve-cylinder scooter. It gyrates the whole spec-
trum in color ; but there's no more art about it than in
a cubist statue ; the plot resembles most a ragged bunch
of cold slaw ; and as for morality in the events I
2 WITS AND THE WOMAN
was riding on Fate's Twentieth Century Limited, and
I don't pretend to justify myself for every cinder that
flew out of the stack.
The Scientists said I was only a poll parrot any-
way, speaking from the mouth out and not to blame;
for mine, I'm willing to be a cuckoo, or a mocking-
bird, or a blue jay, or any other protectorate of the
Audubon Society, so long as the impersonation lands
me on a gilded perch. Every time I look around our
coop, from its double-decked studio living rooms to the
super clothes closets meaning those spacious apart-
ments where we park our duds I keep on saying
over and over to myself : " Truth sure is stranger than
fiction ! " Scaling mental platitudes is about all the
exercise " Poor Poll " gets these days. I miss effort
as I missed Henri de Grasse; I missed Henri like an
aching tooth extracted but more of that and I
didn't realize the ingrowingness of regular work.
Take it -from me, the stalled ox has a dull time.
Getting out of harness into depths of luxurious ease,
and sitting still there long enough for the dollar barna-
cles to encrust habit so that manners can't skid, is
no cinch. Perpetual loafing is right classy, and I'm
for it in my old age but to fill an hour till the
worst labor-hunger passes, just to buck me up against
boredom, I've decided to unstring those " beads of
perspiration on a thread of memory," as Terry calls
Henri's life and mine together, and make a pattern
of them. I could do it a conspicuous sight better
with Henri's help, if that might be. De Grasse had
education backing him in every move; and, though
sometimes hazy about the end, he was always perfectly
sure of his beginnings. He always preferred to look
WITS AND THE WOMAN 3
upon an incident, no matter how final or unfortunate,
as the beginning of something else. Now I come to
think of it that may have started us off together.
On my side I can't find beginning or reason for
things except the weather. Since my very first tilt
with circumstances, I'm strong on the weather; I
never neglect it even in social conversation a quid
pro quo for the good turn old Sol did me when he fox-
trotted up the horizon off schedule, and filled a gray
October morn mad-full of ecstasy. Weather caused
Miss Stacy, head woman on Bain & Dingley's pay
roll, to forget; led a youth of impeccable character
into philandering; and for me Clarissa Kendall
it turned the bag of tricks right upside down. But
first, it filled me with a mighty discontent.
In those days there was no such thing for this
child as getting out of bed the wrong way, because
one edge of my cot stood hard and fast against the
wall of a six by six pill-box on the top floor of Madame
Buniva's establishment ; and the other wasn't quite
clear, being partly flanked by a dresser at the head.
No coruscating luxury illuminated that room or its
belongings, or its tenant, or its tenant's life. Barn-
acles chipped off naturally there against the corners of
the furniture ; and habit gathered momentum from the
dollar alarm clock at precisely six, rain or shine.
Everything had to be done ship-shape. My toilet
routine grew into a marvel of efficiency, each action
highly specialized toward saving time and not over-
crowding space where it didn't exist. Day began by
sliding cold feet from under a crazy quilt to the once-
was Brussels rug, and rising instanter. Lying, one
filled the bed and got the worth of one's money,
4 WITS AND THE WOMAN
but at Buniva's I always felt best in the perpen-
dicular insufficient nourishment had created stand-
ing shadows. I've got to hand it to Madame for
making her boarders fit into their niches. Flesh would
never have been able to navigate her halls, or squeeze
past other fleshies to its own place at the frugal
board.
It's a joke all I accomplished in the little bit of
less than nothing, my center floor, lighted only from
aloft. The first job that glorious day was to dive
under the bed, drag out an ironing board and " do up "
my best waist which had been washed over night.
" Cleanliness is next to godliness," had been one of
Granny's favorite maxims, and the old lady was pretty
nearly right all through life, except in mistaking a
gravel pit for a farm. Cleanliness is next to godli-
ness, but the poet neglected to indicate which side,
and as touching honors are the same value, I took the
liberty of playing them in my own order after I
came to New York just about the time I began
wearing my Sunday clothes every day. Fifth Avenue
proves how easy style can dispense with beauty, but
like as not beauty will get the look over without
style. The first slant I took at myself in a plate glass
window I knew Clarissa had a chance of both, and
then it was me for the rags.
Don't get me wrong. I was never silly about dress
or empty headed quite the contrary. With provo-
cation I could feel big things even then a bursting
sort of fullness inside music brought it on, and
colors and ideas. Some folks gas about aspiration,
and I fancy that's the tag. Weather does the same
sort of thing to one. Had I been able to throw up a
WITS AND THE WOMAN 5
sash and wallow in that grand October breeze, I might
have got intoxicated with the rest. But I put it to
you did anybody ever aspire through a skylight?
Instead, I was just fair peeved. By whirlwinding
through breakfast I could make a few minutes extra
to amble to the shop; I'd have to stand there all day,
selling to lucky parasites what my own vanity craved
something awful; and by closing time the sun would
have scadoodled. Who says discontent isn't high
proof of reason?
Bain & Dingley's, the world where I worked, strad-
dles a side street and fills two city blocks with merchan-
dise. Its closed bridges, connecting the old and new
buildings, lend it the appearance of a massive hour-
glass tipped over ; but, though the great store sprawls,
it is full of dignity, and its isolation is its strength.
Fashion pouring through those bridges, daily, north
and south, and the cross-currents of wealth passing
under them in every type of motor car, would make the
legendary hoards of Bagdad look like thirty cents.
My arrival was, of course, timed too early for the
glittering show. The grim stone buildings at that hour
frowned prisonlike on waking business, with blue
blinds still drawn, nursing their emptiness.
Fine days everybody naturally stayed outside till
the last tick, and then tried to jam in all together and
pull the time clocks on the minute. Miss Stacy got
into the middle of our mob, and I had a chance to
glare at her well-tailored back. Not that I wanted
to be in her shoes managers and floor walkers are
only the cornbeef and cabbage of society, and I always
had a taste for caviare. But she was running in a
rut miles wider than mine and I respected her. I
6 WITS AND THE WOMAN
guess I was the most surprised of the lot when I
found how near she came to a cropper that after-
noon.
Seats of the mighty offer one advantage there's
some come and go about them. The king doesn't have
to sit on his throne and wear his trimmings all day,
whereas the lackey does. Our bosses and the sub-
bosses might by extra effort get off earlier ; so the heads
dug into their work as conspicuously as the cash-girls
slacked. Stacy seemed to be rooting hardest of the
bunch. She had burrowed through a stack of papers
cluttering her desk, and was throwing the last sheets
out with her hind feet, glancing at her wrist watch
now and then, and barking orders short and snappy,
when " Ting-a-ling-a-ling ! " went the standing 'phone
at her elbow, and the hand of Fate lammed her. The
lightning struck noiselessly, only a concise message in
a gentlemanly voice : " Lady Deering asks me to tell
you she will be a few minutes late." Yet the shock
nearly shattered Miss Stacy's reputation. It blasted
her clear out of her seat; and the thunder began to
rumble in about six seconds !
Bain & Dingley prided themselves on selling every-
thing under the sun. You could have bought a dread-
naught there or a dozen of strictly commercial sub-
marines if you had thought to order them! But
one thing they held without money or price tickets
to their own theatre. These were given away; sent
out in gold-crested envelopes as thick as blotting
paper, and only to the ultra smart customers carry-
ing accounts in four and five figures. The theatre it-
self was a gem, rigged up in the heart of the new
building with a regular drop curtain and sloping floor,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 7
like the best in New York, only that around the
orchestra, level with the seats behind and with the
boxes in front, ran a wide platform set out with comfy,
loafy chairs and tea tables bearing dinky little cards
that offered the best tips on sandwiches and pastries
and no price mentioned just the swellest ever.
The entertainments given in this doll's play-house
were a special feature of our firm's advertising, and
no cheap graft either, the speakers being as high toned
as their audiences. Scheduled for that mad October
afternoon was the first show of the season and
Miss Stacy had forgotten.
Lady Deering, no end of a swell, had but recently
arrived in Manhattan and was being trotted round the
ring. Besides holding all the blue ribbons for birth
and education, she was a spiritualistic crank, and she
had consented to talk " for the sake of the cause "
and Miss Stacy had forgotten!
The aristocrat supported by her grand manner and
her several assistants was already on the way, when
our Lucy S. realized in an agony that she had not only
overlooked the date on the date, but had entirely for-
gotten to send out any invitations!
I'd have given up then. Gone to the slaughter like
a chicken just lain flop down and stuck my feet
in the air to be tied. Wouldn't you?
But our forewoman hadn't reached her position
by sloth, either mental or physical. Lady Deering's
message was good for twenty minutes; and with
everything at command one can do a lot in twenty
minutes. Stacy spun round like a mechanical top
buzzing directions. She got the tea-kitchen open by
turning the idle hour of our restaurant to good ac-
8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
count; started one gang to removing dusters in the
theatre, while another arranged decorations com-
mandeered from the florist department, and a third
raided the millinery. What for? Wait! We all
knew her as a hustler and expected the lightning to
dissipate itself zig-zagging in every direction; but the
sheer inspiration of her first move had left us gasp-
ing.
" Envelope, ma'm ? " I was asking for the hun-
dredth time that day, when Sally Wing came running
with a tip to report in the costume department and
dress up as audience. You bet I didn't make any
bones about a customer. That bid wasn't open to
everybody, and I've done Sally many a good turn
since for bringing it around to me. Three minutes
later I was down there among the girls having the
time of my life.
The long, wide, quiet aisles, covered with dove-gray
carpet, hedged by storerooms on one side and dress-
ing-rooms on the other, which is the lay-out of our
costume department, teemed with excited females of
all ages and in all stages. Talk about a dress re-
hearsal! The undressing took but a jiffy, and then
there seemed to be hundreds of us all grabbing things,
and laughing and squealing for joy as we buttoned
each other up; while the dummies stood by in digni-
fied rebuke like so many perfect ladies. Such a lark
hadn't ever happened before to brighten our humdrum
lot behind the counters, and it never would again
not during Stacy's term of office so it was up to us
to make the most of it. The dressing bee was fine;
but think of sitting for a restful hour in the hallowed
circle of those orchestra seats, where only very big
WITS AND THE WOMAN 9
toffs were invited, and having one of the highest high-
brows and tallest toffs abandoned to our absorbed gaze
for all that time. Why, we'd be able to reckon the
buttons on her shoes, let alone her diamonds! We
didn't count much on her entertainment as such, but
the whole thing was a rare treat without that, and
rare things are apt to be fizzy. Men need wines to
light them up, but girls can be the bubbly stuff itself
when they get going. That costume department
effervesced like newly opened champagne for fifteen
delirious minutes.
I gave the mob the once over, decided gigglers
wouldn't get to the party at all, besides delaying
others, and then went straight to a saleswoman and
put myself in her hands as if I. were a customer. Her
practised eye took in my points, and she knew the
stock; a jiffy later she had sorted me out the correct
size in a dark green broadcloth. Say, it was a peach !
I'd never expected to have even the copy of such a
model on my humble back. She shooed off some
of the herd and gave me my pick of a bunch of hats
that had just been brought up; and when she threw
me a marabou muff and scarf to complete the toilet,
I dove into a dressing room and gloated. I'm not
so very tall, but when one's body is in perfect pro-
portion to one's legs, a little slimness goes a long way.
And I always did carry my chin high ! Little Clarissa
had never been dressed right before not to say real
swell and I hardly recognized the perfectly lovely
doll turning slowly before that mirror. But I was
keen enough to catch at the first glance her having
them both good and plenty style and the other.
I floated toward the edge of the department, and
io WITS AND THE WOMAN
began to feel as if I was IT; and just then Miss
Stacy came bustling back to round up her audience.
She looked at me, hesitated and turned away. That
was my cue. The imitation lady sailed up. I meant
it as a joke, and thought if I asked to be directed to
the lingerie, it would put her wise ; but she didn't spot
me, and you bet I was game to carry the play-acting
through. I knew the way to my own department as
well as the way to Buniva's, and it sure was the limit
to hear her explaining it all as polite as pie; but of
course I couldn't smile much just that gracious con-
descension swells bestow on shop people. She bit till
you could listen to her teeth click, and at the end of
the directions offered me a card, saying:
" Lady Deering, the renowned spiritualist, is lectur-
ing here this afternoon, and I understand she will give
some examples of their their processes. It will be
most interesting would you care to have a ticket? "
Stacy to the dot ! Smart as a steel trap, and never
missing a chance; and consider where it put me, will
you? Hall-marked me right into the top rank.
I took the pasteboard, asking for the time and place
as if for news ; and along with the ticket came a bright
idea. By going down in one elevator, and slipping
across and up in another on the far side, I lost our
gang. Instead of sitting in rows with the shop girls,
I was free to choose a seat, and for one intoxicating
hour pass myself off as a social item. So much I
planned.
The up-elevator was crowded, and a young fellow,
squeezed into a corner, kept on asking anxiously for
the theatre. I couldn't hold my curiosity back from
peeping, because I knew he must have been invited by
WITS AND THE WOMAN u
the old dame herself, and she, being such a big bug,
all her friends even the sort that sacrificed a fine
day running to hear her lecture must be real people.
The man was taking a look too, at the identical
moment ; our eyes met and he blushed that got
me. Blushing is scarce in the lower walks of life
folks who have to rustle for a living have too much
brass or too little blood. I guess I treated the kid to
a smile, because, when he had allowed me to pass out,
he walked along close behind, and after I had chosen
a place in the theatre, he came and sat down beside
me, making us look as if we were together. And that
didn't spell finis. He kept on peeking every little
while, till I began to get sore and gave him a bit of a
cold shoulder, as a swell would do, then he turned
lobsterish all over and I felt real sorry for him.
The young man fidgeted, as if I was roasting
him on a grill. He doubled under his chair for his
hat making to leave I watching him out of the tail
of my eye and he cocked one eye up at me with a
supplicating look. The worst of being an amateur is
overdoing things. I saw I'd overdone the snub, so I
threw him a smile to make amends, and I guess I over-
did that too. For he bobbed up like a cork, and com-
menced fussing with his overcoat. I was feeling
about him as if he was a nursery pet belonging to
somebody else, when he staggered me by pulling some
papers out of the pocket and handing one over to me,
asking if I'd been at Lady Deering's last lecture and
if I'd care to have her season's programme? I
glimpsed a portrait of the English grandee in all her
war paint, and thinking it would be awful fun to have
it to show the girls, I put out my hand quick.
12 WITS AND THE WOMAN
He misspelled my action altogether, calling it en-
thusiasm, and, taking an ell where I gave an inch,
opened right up. It was my turn to blush now, but I
couldn't chuck him. He went on talking like a long
lost relative. My coming across on the subject made
him put me in his own class as a bug on hypnotism
and there were all those girls sitting around taking
me for the swell's sister, or his cousin or his aunt.
In almost the next breath he asked me if I wouldn't
have some tea, we could see so much better from the
gallery. It was quite the custom to secure a table
before the lecture so you'd be sure of your tea at the
end, and this was the nearest I'd ever come to a square
invitation from a gentleman. Oh, he was the real
article the i was dotted and the t's crossed in his
toilet, and he spoke with a broad A. Believe me, I
was more than excited, but instead of studying the
cute little card, he handed out with a club address
in one corner, I took a good slant at his open face
where pinkness and youth and zeal and hope struggled
together. It was all so impersonal who could have
refused a harmless beverage?
We seated ourselves in loungy chairs from which
one could see and hear magnificently. Gee ! It walks
to you when you have the price. I leaned back and
enjoyed luxury as if I had been born with a golden
spoon in my mouth; and the situation didn't lose
flavor by the knowledge that Bain & Dingley were
paying for my time.
" The Honorable Angelica Deering," as her cards
read, put all the frills on her spirit lecture that the
law allows. When we were going a gait at scientific
research, she'd suddenly shut off the gas and roll into
WITS AND THE WOMAN 13
something popular; then, quite without warning, she'd
speed up from the variety stuff till you could hear
occult ideas rattle in our poor heads like a handful
of dried peas thrown into a dish-pan. We marked
time thankfully when she called for a demonstration,
and Henri de Grasse appeared. His coming sent a
flutter over the audience for we didn't expect men-
folk, and every last one of us sat up to take stock.
He was the kind of looking chap a girl doesn't ap-
proach with impunity, 'specially if she has any claim
to beauty, or happens to be alone in a rural district
dark, suave, elegant, and about the shape of a poor
asparagus stalk. I'll bet there wasn't a youngster in
the theatre who didn't fall in love with the beau at first
sight.
De Grasse announced himself quite ready to mes-
merize any of us, and asked for a volunteer. I was
crazy to see it done and so seemed everybody else,
for they all began to turn their heads and whisper;
but we waited and waited on pins and needles and not
a soul moved forward. Not a blessed one of our
hundred odd had the courage!
The hall was pretty well filled by that time. Seeing
something going on, naturally, the shoppers drifted
in; but ladies of leisure apparently haven't any more
courage than poor eight-hour slaves, and by and by I
realized, if we were to have the show, I'd be obliged
to report myself.
Rising slowly I waited for my new-young-man
friend to let me pass. He put out his hands as though
to prevent me leaving. I thought I heard him say
something about it being perfectly safe. Then, sud-
denly, in the intense stillness of the room he twigged
14 WITS AND THE WOMAN
my idea. A sort of a too-good-to-be-true look shot
the anxiety in his glance. I found out later he was
rabid on spirits, feared them, you know, and went in
for seances and cold shivers regularly; but at the
moment I just caught the shift of his expression as
I was moving down the stairs. A tale from Granny's
old volume of " Hans Christian Andersen " flashed
before me, and I clung to the living memory of a " dog
with eyes as big as saucers " while toddling up the
aisle. Strange how crazy things like that pop into
your mind uninvited, and how much they help. If
I'd been thinking hard about what I was doing, I don't
believe I'd have had the nerve to carry on.
Their entire outfit must have been afraid I'd get
cold feet, because they all hustled to make a fuss over
me. Lady Deering herself shook hands, and de
Grasse danced around like a hen on a hot griddle.
I knew from the minute he helped me on to the plat-
form that he was awful keen. He was the strangest
man I ever met. Just having my hands touched
casually by his sent a shock and a thrill all over me.
I felt a girl oughtn't to like him, and yet I did he
made me like him. During the few seconds we talked
he reeled off a whole lot of silly stuff about spiritual
affinity, that I'm too modest to repeat anyway there
was no sense to it but I saw I had made a regular
hit ; and I was mad clear through to think that in less
than five minutes the man would have me doing what-
ever he wanted.
One of those old-fashioned writer fellows claimed
women like being seen far better than seeing; but I
guess the last is best for a show of this kind. Beyond
being introduced to Lady Deering and the rest there
WITS AND THE WOMAN 15
didn't promise to be any fun in it for me. I was set
in a chair, and things got duller and duller till I went
under exactly like taking gas in a dentist's shop.
From the instant de Grasse faded out I knew nothing,
but Griggs told me about it. Griggs is the name of
the young gentleman with whom I'd been drinking
tea.
I proved a wonderfully easy subject, so de Grasse
had me in his hands from the start; and he made me
do some terrible fool acts too. Most of the show was
over. I was sicking a dog at a rat hole, calling, " Get
him, Nibs," slapping my knee, and behaving in general
as if I were a ten-year-old cub in pants and a short
jacket, and the girls were rocking in their chairs with
laughter, while de Grasse stood in the middle of the
platform, his arms folded, making me do it. When
Crack! Like the crack of doom, came a hideous,
shattering sound, followed by silence. De Grasse and
I both crumpled up, and Lady Deering ran whimper-
ing off the platform.
A piercing scream startled the silence and pan-
demonium broke loose. The whole gang had been
feeling creepy over my exhibition and other stunts,
and murder on top of it slipped the hounds' leash.
The girls from the shop behaved as if they had lost
their reason. They yelled and fought to make way.
Some yelped like beaten pups, some fainted, others
tore their hair. Miss Stacy might as well have
talked to the four winds. Customers loitering in the
doors, which had unhappily been left open, ran into
the store with a dozen mad contradictory reports,
electrifying women who were quietly pursuing their
own interests at the counters, and sending them wildly
16 WITS AND THE WOMAN
to the scene of horror, crying fatuously could they
help, and what was it all about? Every little bit
makes a little bit more in Bedlam. Between those
pushing to have a look in, and the scared crowd striv-
ing to leave, the center hall came dangerously near to
being a field of bloody battle.
Griggs sprang over the gallery railing and was by
my side in a jiffy. He didn't know at first, he said,
whether the shot had been aimed at me or de Grasse.
He lifted me looking for a mortal wound, and I opened
my eyes. That made him feel different. One of the
stage hands helped him get me into a chair, and there
I sat, still and white, but gazing calmly at all those
raving lunatics. He took my composure for the out-
ward sign of breeding, real people don't act in
emergencies like a pack of cats and dogs, and he
thought me a pretty plucky girl. But it wasn't self-
control, and I don't deserve any praise. When one
hasn't been frightened, one stays quiet; and I was far
too much occupied to be afraid. I was consciously
enjoying the queerest sensations. Some great splen-
did power seemed to be pouring all through me. It
pricked and tingled. I was thrilled as I had been
when de Grasse took my hand, only a thousand times
more so. My brain glowed inside like an incandes-
cent lamp; my pulses beat double measure without ef-
fort; my spirits swam to the lift of the proscenium
arch, maybe higher. I might have aspired through
a skylight even ! I felt I could skip upon a thousand
hills. Colts in pasture and boys out of school are as
hobbled donkeys compared to the terrific exhilaration
of my humanity.
I knew that Clarissa Kendall had just begun to live.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 17
Bah! what most of us call life is merely a hanging
on! My whole being was filled with lightness and
energy. The medium had been killed and I was
twice alive. I knew swiftly and surely, as later I
came to knowledge of many things, that in a mys-
terious way de Grasse had grabbed me. From this
moment I would be in body a beautiful young girl,
but in mentality a combination of the sexes an
ambitious woman and a clever man. The stupendous
knowledge kept me silent.
Soon, the burning in my brain-pan and the sparks
dancing before my eyes merged into form. Did you
ever gaze at the sun till your lamps watered and then
look away and see only floating splotches of color on
light? That was it. The mass molted and floated
and came out positive again. At one minute there
seemed to be a cat's face watching me, at the next a
serpent emerged with two wings spread. It turned
from purple to green or red and back again, till I
lost the shape of the vision in its confusion of color;
and suddenly it flashed black on white and died clean
away. For an instant I saw the snake with its twirly
tail, as plain as a printed page, then it was gone and
my eyes relieved from strain set my other senses free
to deafen me with knowledge of the hub-bub all
around.
" Let's get out of here," Griggs kept on saying over
and over, but he didn't manage to get anywhere on
account of those noisy, stampeding girls.
"Are you all right?" he asked for the twentieth
time. Others came from the management and asked
too, and believing him to be my escort left me to his
care.
i8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
I was all right, more than fit, feeling magnificent
full of a man's courage veiled in femininity and
quickened to deceit. I was certainly on the job, and
I learned in a trice that somebody else was on the job
also; for my first action flabbergasted Clarissa. She
would never have been able to plan so far ahead, and
a mere shop girl would never have dared to take the
glass of water they brought her and pour it right down
the front of Bain & Dingley's gorgeous suit. When
I saw myself do so, and scanned the ruin of those
borrowed plumes, I thought I must be going dippy,
and Griggs thought about the same. I just sat and
looked up helpless from the cold thin trickle to his
amazed stare; and down again, and away and around
all so sweet and utterly futile and dependent, it ap-
pealed to his manhood good and sharp. Anyway, he
took the lead like a battering ram and got us out of
there.
Seeing the John Bull rampant fairly tickled me,
though I've learned since by visiting the right little,
tight little island that every Englishman knows how
to bully. Griggs hectored the crowd and got his own
way all along the line, while I hung on to him me !
that's so shy about getting close to the male sex.
However, any fool could see this boy-doll was per-
fectly safe, and it rounded out the business of my
part. The heavier I hung the pinker and fiercer he
grew, and in spite of a buzzing head for there was
some excitement, believe me my muff came in handy
as a laughter valve, the hysterical woman in Miss
C. K. being unable to squelch completely Henri de
Grasse's man-relish of our comical situation. After
once catching the hang of the thing I wasn't behind
19
him in appreciation, for it sure is fun to be the
audience and the show too. I was constantly spouting
neat little sentences, most unexpected to me, and then
patting myself on the back over saying them so well.
For instance, as we neared the Broadway entrance,
I heard my own distressed voice murmur:
" Perkins won't be here yet whatever shall I
do?" Say it came out natural! An eavesdropper
would have thought I had dozens of servants. I ought
to have been scared to introduce a character bang off,
just like that, without the ghost of a chance of having
him cast; but Perkins got over. Howard Griggs
eagerly brushed him aside.
" My man is here under these unusual circum-
stances will you not permit me entirely at your
service " and more of the same. He certainly knew
how to do the courtesy act. " You're ah, not fit to
be alone," served as a clincher.
I was not, if he said so; moreover, I hadn't the
slightest intention of being alone. I might have
counted the automobile rides I'd had to date on the
fingers of one hand, and my slave's soul trembled
toward freedom. The temptation of driving up Fifth
Avenue at fashion's hour and in fashion's choice
regalia put the blinkers on fear. That rumpus we had
left upstairs would surely cover a short absence, and
if my lark did lead to trouble, it was at least the kind
of trouble with the decency to come afterward. I
didn't need cle Grasse putting it up to me that the game
was worth a whole pound of candles.
Foredoomed to push my luck that day, I soon began
to realize with joy the acceleration of one man-power
behind my feeble pushing.
20 WITS AND THE WOMAN
It was I who sank into the deep cushions of Griggs's
hospitality; but it was undoubtedly Henri directing,
" Ritz Carlton," and Henri who parted from the
stranger at one door of the hotel and then stepped
double-quick to a side entrance and took a taxi back
to Bain & Dingley's. I'm not a fool. I wasn't quite
a two-spot originally, but I wish to give de Grasse
all the credit coming to him. I don't want him ever
to be a bit peeved on me heaven only knows what
he might contrive to do even now!
I'm ashamed to say Clarissa deserted that taxi in
front of the emporium at times honesty is no policy.
I beat it for the costume department, and by shedding
my hat and slipping off the green coat, it was possible
to steal in among the girls, unrecognized. Hazards,
as laid in our gang, being a hollow form of words,
were flying thick; the burning question whether the
mesmeree had shot de Grasse. Public opinion was
dead against her, and you bet I kept mum. I hung
the damaged suit where I'd be sure of finding it again,
and then went quietly back to my own counter. I
was shaking in my shoes on account of the waiting
chauffeur, for I didn't know Henri as well as I do
now, but he took his diploma on the very first event.
Closing time proved him right in guessing that a taxi
driver would never spot his whilom elegant fare
among the hundreds of girls leaving Bain & Dingley's
by an employees' exit.
CHAPTER II
Up to that day I had always thought that I thought.
There were evenings when I'd sit with my chin in my
hand and if Madame, good soul, asked what was
wrong, I'd say, " I'm thinking." But, gee! I'd never
done any thinking in my whole life.
For real consecutive thinking one has got to have
brains and training. De Grasse had them both. He
taught me a whole lot, and I showed him one or two
trifles. I made him own that women are marvels at
duplicity. " Beauty and brains," he'd say. " Beauty
and brains both kinds we'll beat the world ! "
After I got to know Henri I began to like him pretty
well. His chief fault was that he wanted to get rich
too quick. Of course he lied who doesn't? And
he was a bit shaky on honor; but if you're not in with
an honorable crowd what's the use ? I wouldn't
do a mean trick on Terry's people for a million
straight Henri's bunch were different.
When we'd arrived at better acquaintance, we didn't
have to talk about beauty and brains and such things
we just lived it. And we could act along like one
person without a hitch. But at first we had regular
debates. I learned life wasn't worth a hill o' beans
unless one meet up with Success. And success in the
race of life, as in horse racing, depends largely on the
getaway. Unless you draw an inside place at the post,
you'll have a devil of a run.
21
22 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Clothes, he said, were the hall-mark of Success,
and there wasn't any use entering at all if one didn't
wear the right colors. Then I knew why I had poured
that glass of water over a perfectly good suit. The ac-
cident brought its value within the faint outermost
ring of my financial orbit. Next day, I went straight
to Miss Stacy and told her about the skirt being spoiled
in the panic, laying it on thick when it came to ruin,
and offered her so much a week out of my wages.
Looked like I was awful honest. The forewoman
acted pretty nice over it, and named a low figure. I
guess with the police in charge, and Mr. Bain and Mr.
Dingley worried to death to hush up a scandal, and
scores of reporters being continually shooed off the
premises and butting in again, turning up in the guise
of customers and salesmen, hanging around the count-
ers buying nothings, with their eyes peeled all the time,
and their tongues fairly hanging out to lick up news,
Stacy wasn't anxious to hear us elaborate on her fak-
ing an audience. So I gained easy leave to take the
ruin home, and after operating it on the old ironing-
board for the longest Sunday morning on record, its
peachy surface came as good as new.
Another matter de Grasse opened his eyes about was
reading. Of course I had always glanced through the
paper, if it was handy, and kept up with the divorce
news, and the society weddings lots of the brides
bought their things from me. Now I took a sheet
regular, eleven cents a week, mind you, but it's noth-
ing venture, nothing win and I read it from cover
to cover with my lamps lit searching opportunity. If
it wasn't for bluff, opportunity would be the whole
thing in Success anyway it's mighty important.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 23
Henri conducted my education by making me read
aloud the opportunities offering. At first I was taken
in by words it said chances to buy houses cheap,
so cheap and so desirable tears fairly sprung to your
eyes to think of the loving owners having to part
with them at all; and chances to buy businesses; and
chances to invest money but I soon saw that wasn't
to the point, me not having any money to invest ; be-
sides, I knew Henri was laughing up my sleeve.
Finally the worm turned. I threw the paper down,
telling him to go seek his old opportunity for himself,
and that blooming sheet flopped open right on the
society columns where they talk about all sorts of
smart happenings notices that don't figure to be
advertisements on the top line, but are so just the
same. The first one my eye lighted on was a Charity
Bridge to be given at the Ritz in a week. There fol-
lowed a long list of names and prizes donated by
swells: a Chow dog by Mrs. van Buister Clapp, a
pianola from Winchley le Peyesent, an automobile by
somebody else, an opera box, a vacuum-cleaner and a
whole lot more things. It sure did look like a party,
if one could have been in the winning class.
Henri vaunted himself over finding that item, and
claimed it was the only real opportunity in New York.
" But I don't play bridge," I objected. " I don't
know how. And anyway, I never won a prize in my
life."
All the same Clarissa was forced to cut the silly
piece out and pin it up on her dresser; and the next
thing I knew I was borrowing the " A. B. C. of
Bridge " from our first-floor front.
" If I deal the cards," Henri argued, " you won't
24 WITS AND THE WOMAN
need to do much playing. And besides, you want
to go. You've bartered your liberty for a fine new
suit now what is the use of a becoming costume and
no place to wear it? "
De Grasse had always been foxy with the women;
it's no wonder he egged me on till I filled up with the
spirit of the gamble and grew keener than a March
wind.
Once started I was just as good as Henri in the
money spending line. On Saturday afternoon I
travelled up to the Vacation Savings' office and drew
out all my capital. They tried hard to make girlie
leave some " Just a nest egg." But my second
wouldn't stand for half measures. He said he was
going to put our money where it would draw interest
or bust; and not to be a little Sally-sucker, and a
diffident dub. I always had thought it right cute of
them to handle working girls' accumulated ready and
not .pay over any of the unearned increment. How-
ever, I'm grateful to them for making me save, be-
cause it ended in a perfectly splendid three hours buy-
ing a hat, and gloves, and shoes, and a fixing for my
neck. I wanted to corral the ticket also, but Henri
postponed that purchase till the last minute, explain-
ing if I walked in and presented a pass, they'd wonder
why I was not with my own party ; and it was always
best in such cases to attract as little attention as pos-
sible.
On Tuesday I'd have gone to the shop like an
honest simp, and asked for the afternoon off and
perhaps not got it. Henri pointed out the safe way
was to lie in bed and makes excuses later, so I loafed,
but I didn't sleep after six ; didn't want to for that
WITS AND THE WOMAN 25
matter lying awake and thinking about not having
to get up was such a treat! My old alarmy showed
three hours past before Buniva came up hunting
trouble. Board is board seven days in the week and
Herself never countenanced any trifling with the al-
mighty dollar. If every last one of her family didn't
materialize for breakfast, business instincts drove her
aloft. She was a jolly, helpful soul aside from tariff,
and hearing of the party she promised to give me
lunch and let it stand on the bill instead of breakfast
a clear saving to me of fifteen cents.
Time, they say, was made for slaves, but the less
folks accomplish the faster it goes. My idle hours
simply whirred. I could hear them pass. I didn't
do a thing but manicure myself from top to toe, so
as to be worthy of the new duds ; and fuss up the little
trimmings on my waist; and try my hair in a dozen
ways till I struck the sympathetic note for hat and face.
My hair certainly is grand the color of a squirrel's
back in the sun, as one of Terry's poetic friends told
me. I punctured his metaphor at the time by asking
if he meant a gray squirrel, and he ran on flat tires
all the rest of the evening; but it wasn't a bad descrip-
tion. Every hair is long, mere man won't be able to
fathom the value of that remark; it lies smooth, you
know, and holds a marcel for a week; and I haven't
too much, which is almost as awkward as none, but
just the right amount to make sure of following any
mode.
Henri held appearances didn't matter in this outing
as they would all be women. Then I knew I'd be
obliged to order a primer or graft femininity on to the
roots of his ignorance like a tea rose. The why-for
26 WITS AND THE WOMAN
of gorgeous apparel is the mental effect on oneself.
That brand of courage needed to face patronesses
and head waiters rises higher as the rising tide of
dollars surges over one's person. Flowing lines make
for egotism and a train is a great moral support.
Take it from your Uncle Dudley, the hats of history
have carried through more mischief than the heads
beneath them. I knew this affair would be every
woman for herself, and the devil take the dowdiest,
so I spread myself on a toilet, and when a hotel mirror
had assured me that my skirt hung even and my stock-
ings hadn't ripped at the heel, I felt as if the Queen
of Sheba were my orphant niece, and I issued out and
ordered a taxi in my most regal manner. We put up
the price to drive from the Manhattan, because de
Grasse maintains arriving on foot is bound to take the
starch out of any enterprise. On wheels you may be
anybody, but pedestrianism sure is low down or hard
up.
The boy jumped so quick to the door I wondered
if he could have remembered me arriving in Griggs's
car; but when I saw the crowd, I got him. There
were all kinds present, and some of them pretty plain
dressers. I guess they took their fill of high life when
the price of getting in and out again was only three
dollars. I looked a swell. Money talks, even my
little savings' book full. Everything I had on the
outside was brand new a la the millionaire. I'd
always fancied it must be uncomfortable and you're
right, it was. New stays, high heels and a brimless
hat the Inquisition wasn't in class, and the self-
consciousness of it kept me from giving my whole
mind to what was going forward. Launched alone
WITS AND THE WOMAN 27
in those gigantic rooms amid a thousand she peacocks
I felt like a chip going over Niagara, and I had to fall
back on Henri. That's where he got the upper hand.
Every time we maneuvered on new ground I fell back,
and soon he was doing all the ordering. It was next
door to matrimony, only more fun, because no one
understood about my better half. A real fine looking
girl is a peril and the boys don't forget it. Of course
there's always a sucker or two hanging about the
married dames, happy to bask in the grateful cer-
tainty they can't tar them with father's blessing and
feather them with wedding plans at the first act of in-
discretion; but, thank God, the bulk of males are men,
and any fellow worth his salt still yearns toward
danger especially when it's unescorted.
Incapable of counting a pip that afternoon I leaned
hard on de Grasse, and he certainly did rise to the
occasion; between my partner and me holding all the
cards once in four, and fair hands other times, we ate
them up. I hadn't set my heart on a prize, however,
and when they called my name and handed out the
opera box, I'm afraid little Clarissa attracted bushels
of attention. It made Henri mad. Always disap-
proving of publicity he hustled me into a taxi and
home, saying it was only a beginning anyway and no
time to crow.
CHAPTER III
De Grasse and I had a fight that evening because
I refused to hand everything over to him holus-bolus.
One of those opera invitations was destined for
Howard Griggs. I wasn't in love with the boy, mind
you, in spite of hanging on to him in the shop, but
I thought it would be a lark to see him again; and
having made up my mind I didn't intend to be domin-
ated. Besides who else was there to ask ?
It's a sure thing if any friendly philanthropist had
chucked me a bunch of opera tickets before I got mixed
up with Henri, I'd have cut for Buniva's, had a glori-
fication with the family, and then rigged little old
Madame up in her best togs and carried her off to hear
" Caroose." But the party wasn't pleasure now. It
had to be considered as a business opportunity. Ambi-
tion is the most devastating kill-joy known!
Instead of making merry I went straight and shut
myself in my room to figure the thing out. I was
terribly scared de Grasse would insist on selling the
box for I did want to see the show and I deter-
mined to render that scheme impossible without loss
of time. I'd swiped a piece of paper and an envelope
from the Ritz, so, when I finished composing a note,
a few brief noncommittal lines, I stuck the ticket in
and mailed it quick. Henri had noticed the club ad-
dress and said in an offhand way, we might as
well keep on the youngster's track. He had no ob-
28
WITS AND THE WOMAN 29
jections to Griggs. But he thought he could run our
campaign best, and he was sore at me for acting on
my own. After that he sunk himself deep in the
sulks and refused all communication.
Two entire days those swell bits of card lay in my
room untouched, except for the way I fingered them
while I was trying to think. I'd sort them out in a
row on the bed and gloat; and then rearrange them
and sit gazing but I failed to hit upon a classy plan.
Memory kept hopping and skipping from one silly
detail to another: the clothes some of the women had
worn, and how the old chap looked when he gave
me the prize, and what they said at the shop next
morning. My mind showed about as much concen-
tration as a frayed rope end.
By-and-by I grew nervous over missing an oppor-
tunity we didn't even have to go after, but which
snuggled all ready and waiting in the top bureau
drawer. Time passed, and it was a rank shame. I
gave in and apologized. I guess women are most
sensible about these affairs; Henri ought to have done
the humility act if he hadn't been too stiff necked
he was anxious to make up all right. He had been
thinking the situation out, in his wounded seclusion,
and was ready to get to work with a plan cut and dried
I had only to follow directions.
The passports were delivered in a big thick white
envelope, regular wedding stationery, tied with ribbon.
I had laid the last away to use in a chemise, but now
we dug them both out, and sealed and tied our
treasures, still innocent of address; and then, putting
on my oldest clothes I sallied forth. Rain smirched
the darkness into inkier black, and it was cold. How-
30 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ever, my heart throbbed to adventure, and I was re-
lieved over making up with Henri. The past forty-
eight hours had been worse than an attack of indiges-
tion. I decided never to quarrel with him again
happen what might. Standing there waiting for an
up-town car we sealed our bargain; and the very
gutters purling at my feet seemed to lilt a jollier note.
I was bound for the club district. Henri main-
tained that having decent clothes the next item on the
list for me was some stylish acquaintances. He felt
sure I only needed to meet folks; and intended intro-
ducing me, in his own fashion, to the right people
the opera-box kind. Little by little one learns the re-
sourcefulness of a confidence man that was a name
people called Henri when they didn't like him and
it was a splendid name! After the outcome of this
event, which was far reaching as you'll see, he had
gained my entire confidence.
There was no use picking out Griggs's club, or any
of the smaller, exclusive places, because the men be-
longing to them had boxes of their own; and the
university clubs" are apt to harbor honest, poor chaps.
So we decided on the Engineers' as our likeliest
gamble ; and I alighted at Fortieth Street, and plodded
through the drizzle to that colossal pile. The neigh-
borhood proved quite deserted. A glance to right and
left assured me of safety for the moment, and, quick
as a dart, I made the toss we had cast our bread
upon the water. I stole across to the opposite side
to watch for signs of an immediate return, for I've
always been a believer in proverbs. The envelope
looked so large and white glaring up from the club
porch, I was afraid it might attract too much curiosity,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 31
and that one of the attendants would come out and
nab it.
Back and forth I walked, and up and down, and
nothing happened. The night was sodden, void, com-
panionless. For change I leaned against the library
fence, or shifted from one foot to another. Then I'd
begin to tramp once more. Weariness and cold crept
over me like a snail, and Henri came in for some
pretty hot invective, not at all in the spirit of our late
compact. As I turned for the hundredth time, a taxi
whizzed around the Fifth Avenue corner, and my heart
nearly stopped but it didn't affect my feet. I was
down at the far end of the block when those lamps
blazed on the watery road, and I fairly flew to the
scene of action, crept close, out of range, and stood
stark, hidden by the gloom and my umbrella.
Two men came from the club. A small, jovial,
sing-songy fellow, in no condition for acute observa-
tion, nearly fell over our bait without taking it, but
his friend shoved him away and reached for the
package. He was a dandy, square shouldered man,
wearing a light colored, shaggy cloth coat, and looking
very much as a man ought to look. I beamed in the
security of my cotton shelter, while they peered this
way and that, seeking a possible owner. Nix on find-
ing Clarissa. So I watched Mr. Big-Man open the
envelope, glance at the tickets, and pocket the lot.
Then I beat it for home. I'll bet you I was the most
excited and expectant girl in Greater New York that
hour; and I must confess, just a pin-prick sorry I had
invited Griggs.
The box was for Saturday matinee and I stayed
home from the shop again, there not being time to
32 WITS AND THE WOMAN
dress after closing. I wanted to get to the place first,
so as not to miss anything, but I soon found out my
mistake. You see with a bona fide owner sitting there,
strangers might naturally hesitate to camp; however
it turned out all right, and I'm glad I went early, be-
cause the best of the show was watching the audience
come in. Being absolutely ignorant of Grand Opera
until the curtain rises is a blighting handicap it's
one of those subjects you've got to study up first and
last. Since then I've read a lot of high-brow articles
on "opera for the Northwest," and "opera for the
poor," and why in thunder the average citizen doesn't
run to hear opera when he's offered a rare chance
six dollars per. Say! It's easy. One can't get
chummy with ideas like these by spending three or
four hours in their company once a year. In order to
enjoy opera you've got to pal along together regular.
I'm broken to it now ; but on the level, that first show
struck me as away below invoice.
I was sitting there in the dark, feeling small and
lonesome and about disappointed enough to cry; and
no longer marvelling at the generosity that could hand
out its box as a prize, because I fancied that afternoon
was a frost, so many seats had been empty when the
acting began. Suddenly an arrow of light shot
through the back door, and I heard whispering
somebody was coming in. I tried to hide behind the
curtains, and held my breath so as not to scare them ;
but it was unnecessary. The two engineers walked
out with their eyes glued on the stage. A fat chap
and a girl were singing turn about, and my guests
never made a move to sit down till the curtain dropped,
and the applause was spattering itself dead.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 33
I had myself in hand by that time, and when the
house lit up showing me in possession and registering
dignified surprise, those poor fellows were terribly
embarrassed, 'specially the big one. His companion,
who seemed as jovial as ever, apologized and apolo-
gized till I began to be afraid he would eject himself
in spite of me. But the other cut him off in time,
and began to talk sense. He said he had reported the
tickets at the box office and the club, and as they were
not claimed by the middle of the afternoon, he decided
to make use of them. For he was leaving town, it
was his last chance to hear Caruso, and they hadn't
a seat in the house, as I could see.
I looked over. The whole place sure enough was
jammed, and rows of enthusiasts standing up at the
back can you beat it ! Folks gone clean dippy over
the middle of a show and not caring enough about the
start to hustle their grub.
Of course I invited the strangers to stay. I had to
be foxy though. The box-office knew about those
seats figuring as a prize, and naturally everybody
thought they would be rounded up. It did seem odd
not even to have inquired. I scored one against
Henri, and then sailed in with a whopper, saying I
had sent them to a friend, and didn't dream they were
lost, but was wondering what had become of her.
And I added, kind of careless, as my party was evi-
dently broken to smithereens, perhaps they'd like to
remain. I said remain too de Grasse uses some
vocabulary.
Mr. Big-Man jumped at the chance, and sat right
down beside me; and after he had introduced the
rubber ball and himself, he began explaining about that
34 WITS AND THE WOMAN
opera. It was real comfortable, me not being obliged
to put on side as I'd only won the box at cards. Wise
guy ! He had armed himself with a book where every
word of the play was written in two languages; and
it turned out the keg she'd had her foot on was full
of gold.
" That's the best ever ! " I exclaimed. " When she
ranted away like that, I took her for a suffragette or a
temperance fiend ! "
We all laughed, and I saw his nice blue eyes twink-
ling. People looked our way his roar sounded so
big and jolly.
" I'll bet they haven't as much gold in that keg now
as I have in my pocket," he said. And I was trying
to square him as a boastful ass, when he pulled out a
great hunk of metal that made my eyes pop.
" Did you ever see how it grows ? That's a nugget
from the Dome mine."
Henri positively quivered with eagerness to touch
the glittering thing. (Him pick on me for excite-
ment!) I sat turning the blob over and over, trying
to back my second-self into place, while I threw out
amazingly ignorant questions about the why and
wherefore. Ross that was the big man's name
seeing me interested, talked a lot, and I suppose one
would say he talked well. Almost any man can spiel
you glibly on his own business ; but a good listener is a
gift of God. Henri and I sat there with our ears
flapping, and I guess the engineer enjoyed himself.
We learned how La Rose, a French Canadian, had
picked up a lump of silver from the surface of the
rocks away out in some forsaken woods; and had
rustled right in and staked all the land coming to him,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 35
before he made anybody wise to his find. Of course
he had the best patch in the vicinity, being Johnny on
the spot. A few big bugs had jumped in second and
snatched the ripe plums; and all sorts of get-rich-quick
quacks had been trooping up and drawing surprise
packages out of the Canadian wilds ever since. Seedy
engineers overran the ground like a plague of locust,
he said, but quite recently a new gold camp had been
opened to the north, with blare of trumpets, and a lot
of the driftwood was sweeping on. Ross himself had
stuck to silver, believing there were still plenty of
elegant veins to run down in the Cobalt region.
W T hen I heard that old La Rose had scratched rock
and grubbed around for more than twenty years be-
fore he saw the " bloom," I thought it knocked a large
chunk of icing off the cake. But Henri continued to
be in a ferment over the whole story. He would have
taken French leave then and there, so as not to miss
a minute of the big gamble, only he wanted to chum
up with Ross some more. I felt he yearned toward
him like a brother in prosperity, and perhaps that made
me more approachable than usual. As I've told you,
I believe in keeping fellows at arm's length; but Ross
was a great Newfoundland dog sort of man, and one
doesn't mind petting a real friendly, nice dog. What
with this " good old fellow " attitude, and Henri's sud-
den leaning, first thing I knew the engineer had pulled
his chair closer, and we were talking almost in whis-
pers, so that my other guest excused himself and went
out for a smoke.
Ross didn't snatch the opportunity to ladle out any
soft soap though, he kept right on telling me about
mines, how they dig a shaft in the ground and lay
36 WITS AND THE WOMAN
out galleries from that; and how they bore a hole for
the explosive, and stick it in, and then all hike im-
mediate, so as not to run any risk of being blown up ;
and about hoisting the broken rock in buckets, and
having to put it through machines before it can be sold,
and what a lot of money it takes to operate a claim
after you secure it.
Ross owned a good looking lot I gathered, but not
much of the ready.
He said if you saw a bit of likely ground that you
wanted, and nobody else held, you just hammered in
stakes at certain distances, and then went around and
registered the claim; and if you did it all according
to Canadian law, not forgetting anything, nobody on
earth could take it from you. But if you had a real
mine, and you had left any tiniest mite of a loophole,
not according to regulations, woe betide you. Some
smart-aleck would up and find a fault in your title,
and then the ground must be thrown as wide open
to everybody as it was in the beginning. Only that
the entire camp knew by then what the ore assayed,
and the fellows would sit up nights waiting till your
hold on it was busted, and they'd dash out and race
you to it, and maybe beat you, and stake your ground
in their own name, and steal your fortune altogether.
That doesn't seem fair to me, but it's the way they
play the mining game.
I was so thrilled hearing about the real thing I
forgot we were at the opera, until the lights dipped
and the top gallery began to sish for silence.
Ross sat back, and I couldn't get a word more out
of him, only once he patted my hand where it lay on
the nugget, whispering,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 37
"Will you keep it to remember me by?"
We were swimming along. Buckwater the other
man went out in the second interval to have another
smoke, and I was trembling, and enjoying and wonder-
ing about it, sure Ross would try and see me again,
and determined to give him my correct address
since he was going out of town, when the door opened,
and who should appear but Griggs, quite breathless
and very pink! Gee! I hated him! But I had to
get up and do the polite, and perhaps in my excitement
I rather overdid it. My Gold Man drew right into
himself.
Of course I introduced everybody. The engineers
took Griggs for a legitimate friend, and I guess they
thought I was rattled because I didn't want to be
caught entertaining strangers. Both men spotted it,
and not a word said about losing tickets. Griggs on
his side was cold surprised not to find a chaperone;
and he didn't cotton to the engineers any more than
they did to him.
First thing Howard plucked out his nifty pocket-
book and showed me a clipping about the de Grasse
murder. Having read millions of words on the sub-
ject I would just as soon he had left this news item
at home. But at least it was news. Detective
Buttle by adding two and two made thirteen. The
medium, he claimed, was head of a big gang the police
had been after for years; and the fact of a woman
shooting him (which looked likely there having been
a hundred women present to one man) opened up a
long avenue of clues. They were about to round up
every known female crook, and make them show their
whereabouts on the memorable date.
38 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Henri grew so interested in this phase of his own
murder, I was forced out of general conversation,
and had to read the cutting line by line. He
wouldn't let up even when the performance started,
and I finished with the assistance of Griggs's pro-
gramme lamp. Glancing from the paper to the dark-
ened dome above us I saw again that symbol of the
winged snake. The creature flashed upon me bright
and clear and I marked every detail: the small evil
head, those strange hieroglyphics on its spread wings,
which had once borne resemblance to a cat's eyes, and
the perfect circle backing all. I could never mistake
or forget the form though I didn't choose to see it.
His wiggly tail filled me with the creeps, and a horrible
fear sprang out in the darkness turning me icy cold.
De Grasse must have wished the D. T.'s on me!
There aren't but three acts to that opera, so when
the bowing and the clapping subsided we had to leave.
Griggs suggested tea, and there were no bids against
him. The strangers, thinking we belonged while they
were mere outsiders, beat a retreat.
Griggs spouted a little about " Destinn being in
voice," and " Puccini's music not expressing the spirit
of our west, nor quite revealing the farther occiden-
talism of Japan," he was a regular bug on opera
and then we shook hands all around.
The yellow car didn't look half so big, or half so
yellow, or half so luxurious as it had before; but the
youth himself was nicer. He would have called at
the hotel next day, he said, if he had known my
name. I ought to have told him " Sapphira " but
of course I'd signed Kendall on the note, and he knew
now and could easily figure that no unattached female
WITS AND THE WOMAN 39
was registered under K at the Ritz. I cast about for
plausible whopper number two (Henri has got me in
all wrong with the recording angel) and suddenly
decided I had been out of town for a couple of weeks
and was going away again. But right there I got
a tip that lack of an address and a chaperone were
going to stall me with Griggs. You see Howard was
a dyed-in-the-wool aristocrat; if he hadn't been a bit
of a stranger in New York society himself, he would
have known who owned that opera box, and then
good night Clarissa.
CHAPTER IV
Well, it was all over with the goose, but I still
had the golden egg. Henri grew hourly more de-
termined on a visit to Cobalt. Silver, he said, was
about the likeliest opportunity for us; and this new
gold field to the north might prove a bonanza. If it
had not been for my sex, he'd have floated an entire
company on that one nugget alone. " Get your stock
on the market first," he preached. " You can buy a
hole in the ground easily enough when the directors
ask for it." De Grasse always put the cart before the
horse, to my way of thinking, but I was learning to
appreciate him, and to lie low; and he began to figure
out it wasn't all jam being a woman. Nobody takes
us seriously, and aside from marriage speculative
enterprise is practically closed against us.
My skirts put the kibosh on Henri's operating in
New York; but I knew he'd never be satisfied till he
had a finger in the mining pie, so gradually I made
our preparations. My extra duds, not many, some
cheap jewelry, Aunt Elizabeth's ear-rings and my
stock of pictures and books all found their way to
Second Avenue. There was a little Vacation Sav-
ings' money left ; but I'd been fined at the shop, besides
having to pay regularly on my nifty suit; and we
couldn't tote the fare up anyway. Henri insisted on
keeping the nugget.
The only scheme we hit on was for me to work
40
WITS AND THE WOMAN 41
extra time, and there we took Madame Buniva into
counsel. Madame had a square head under that bob
of hair she sported, and she had a right good heart
too. One of her brothers ran a catering establish-
ment, and she packed me off to him with a glowing
recommendation. After he read it, I thought he was
going to embrace me, but it was just the man's Italian
way. He trotted off to call his Sefiora, and the two
of them began talking with their hands and gurgling.
I couldn't make head nor tale of it till Mrs. Sturani
produced a frilly cap and apron and dressed me up.
The black and white trimmings made me look out
of sight. Then the boss spoke English long enough
to promise me a job taking hats and coats at a big
the dansant Saturday afternoon. I failed to get
wise to the address, because I had to report at the shop
and go over with a bunch of help waiters and
dishes and pastry altogether. We managed to be
pretty gay in the wagon and I forgot to keep tab on
the blocks.
It was a tall house with big iron gates and looked
much like other houses outside, but a wing extending
back behind their next door neighbour made it a
regular mansion for accommodation. I thought the
whole lay-out too ornate beamed ceilings, and gold
leaf, and mirrors, hotel style, and gold furniture with
red plush seats. Presently the Missus showed up.
Her outline looked like a figure 8 tipsy drunk, and
she wore the highest heels I've ever seen. But she
wasn't a bit the grand dame with us no, sir-ee !
She knew what was what in the kitchen. Why, the
way she laid it down to Sturani you'd have thought
she'd been a cook all her life.
42
After a while we sifted into our places and the
party began.
I was stationed in the hall taking wraps, and Joe,
an old hand who bossed that job, passed the time
giving me pointers. Some swells filtered in, for the
house though ugly was sure rich, but the bulk of the
guests were nobodies old ladies rigged up like the
hostess, and young ones promising to adhere to type.
If you remember, the first of the dancing craze came
along with the last of the tight skirts. Watching
some of those goddesses waddle upstairs nearly put
me out of business Joe said I mustn't crack a
Smile, and very soon I felt like crying.
There is always a lull between the first batch of
visitors, who are going on, and the second lot who
have been somewhere else. All the lady guests had
gone directly upstairs, but two or three men had
walked past us, without asking leave or liberty, on
down the long hall and into the wing smoking-room.
While we were slack, Joe was sent to get them a
drink.
I remained gazing idly through the glass vestibule,
listening to the music and wishing I was upstairs
footing it, when, jumpin' Jupiter ! Against the striped
awning marking the entrance as a festive place, I
saw the head of Howard Griggs. It was no frolic-
some nightmare. His buttonhole rose steadily his
cane and cutaway, and gloves, each upon the order
of its coming. In a jiffy two immaculate white
spats would stand upon the threshold, and the door
swing back. Petrification !
Hearing a clink of glass I swung around, snatched
the tray from Joe and plunged to cover.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 43
" Door was open," somebody said as I entered
between heavy curtains, and a big fellow sitting with
his back towards me grunted.
As I crossed to the table carrying my heavy load,
I had no chance to gather more than a general im-
pression of the place a queer, dark, somber room,
full of grotesque furniture and ugly Art interest.
Black wood panelled the walls almost to the top, and
in spots struck by light from the one shaded lamp
it gleamed like an evil eye. Already, in the middle
of the afternoon, thick curtains were drawn over
every window, making for mystery; and the men
seated there seemed to oppress each other and the
atmosphere with self-importance. Need of refresh-
ment had evidently interrupted or delayed some grave
occasion.
Coming on them uninvited that way made me feel
jumpy; and going forward into their midst was as
bad as facing a trial by jury.
The boss motioned me to set my tray on the center
table, but I was obliged to wait while they cleared
a place. Seeing me standing by, a fellow with a face
like a horse unfolded from his chair, as you might
open a jackknife, one blade after another, and began
to shift the smokers' things and magazines. He stood
so tall his head was lost in the gloom above me, and
it was odd to watch his hands long hands covered
with dark hairs growing sparsely on womanish skin
moving around without any apparent control.
They seemed to glide over the objects, and to hover
near, yet avoid, a black leather wallet and a package
of papers lying at the host's elbow. I thought of
spirits and seances and of Griggs. It looked as
44 WITS AND THE WOMAN
though everything was ready for proceedings as soon
as I got out of the way.
With attention riveted on the table, for glass is
glass and I didn't hanker after any juggling stunts
just then, I leaned over to set the tray in safety,
but my eye lit on the wax securing their papers, and
I almost dropped the lot for they were sealed with
the sign of the winged snake; Henri's delirium tremens,
wiggly tail and all, modelled there in official red, clear
and perfect.
A gasp escaped me while I was chasing my breath,
and one of the men remarked :
" Pretty big lift for a little girl."
" That'll do," said the boss, jerking his head towards
the door, and I was obliged to quit. But I only dodged
out of sight, not out of hearing, they had to reckon
with de Grasse. Ever since Henri fluxed his soul
into mine, this snake thing had been blotching it-
self on my eyeballs, and I had been racking an over-
stimulated brain to find out its meaning. That it
had been and perhaps still was of immense importance
to him seemed sure, but how why where ?
Seeing the spittin' image of the beast on Jacob's table
didn't do a thing to my curiosity. I was crazy to
read those papers and find out about the seal, and
I'd have taken any risk rather than lose the chance,
so I opened the door and then gave it a smart push
as I popped back behind the curtains. The decided
bang following closed me in instead of out. I stood
crouched against the wall, hardly breathing with my
heart whacking like a typewriter and my eyes glued
to the crack.
The four men were gathered close around the table
I was crazy to read those papers and find out about the seal
WITS AND THE WOMAN 45
under the rays of a powerful light; no stage setting
ever offered a better opportunity to see; but they fell
at once into a sort of voice cipher, speaking in low,
monotonous tones and I heard little.
" That door wasn't closed last time," murmured
a fidgety fellow almost in my ear as he tried it. Gee !
I was stiff with fright. All my functions stood still
till he got back to his seat and settled himself.
They inspected various papers and O. K.'d them.
They all had a drink again, and finally the boss drew
that little black wallet towards him. My suspense
fairly tingled.
Deliberately the leader removed an elastic band
from the pocketbook, and opened its two flaps. And
he dumped out a mess of powders. Just ordinary
pieces of folded white paper I was never so let
down in my life!
All the doctors, for they must have been doctors,
I reckoned the purse-proud sort that fatten out of
dying millionaires sat regarding the medicine-pile
fixedly for several seconds. Then the long-nosed man
opened one, shook its contents together, let it lie ex-
posed for them all to see, and did it up nicely and
neatly again. He opened every single powder, and all
the time I had to stand waiting, I couldn't even see
whether it was pink pills or stuff like salts, and I be-
gan to feel awfully weary, and w r ondered how Joe was
making out at the door, and figured my chances of
getting away alive.
When they had thoroughly inspected the contents,
they counted those blessed powders once more, and
Mr. Horse-Face swept them off the end of the table
into the wallet with a comprehensive movement of his
46 WITS AND THE WOMAN
long wrist. The boss stood. They were through.
One of the guests raised his glass, tasted the drink,
smacked his lips, and said, " Good liquor."
" We'll have in some ice when de Sola's finished,"
answered the host, as the papers were bunched to-
gether. " Can't be too careful don't know whose
about house is in such a damned muddle to-day."
"Deuced pretty little girl brought the last where
do you find 'em, Jacobs? " The speaker sounded re-
laxed. I could hear them well enough when they
used a natural voice, and I saw him stretch into
comfort. But you bet I didn't. Something was go-
ing to happen, fast. I had my eyes peeled, watching.
The boss had crossed to the back of the room, be-
side the fireplace. He stepped behind a big chair
and reached up fingering the woodwork. His dark
clothes merged into the shadows of the black wall,
only spots of white could be distinguished, a strip of
collar, and his hands, and the bald spot on his head
showing like a bull's-eye.
Nobody paid any attention to his stunt. They were
all talking and joking most congenial. But I'd
hardly said, " Empty loft," to myself, when an ob-
long panel in the wainscot sprang open. You could
have knocked me over with a feather! Of course I'd
played at castles with moving walls and hidden cham-
bers while I was a kid what youngster doesn't ?
but when I became a hard-headed young business
woman I put away kiddish things. And now to find
them coming true in life!
Well, this one was fact. The big man switched on
a side lamp and I saw, with my own eyes, a deep niche
where the ends of similar wallets showed neatly stacked
WITS AND THE WOMAN 47
there must have been a dozen of them. While we
watched, it seemed tha-t Henri was trying to tell me
something. To make me do, or think quick, or under-
stand and it didn't come off. I knew there were
plenty of communications from him that I failed to
grasp but this one must be awfully important, and
I laid my soul open to get it. Whatever was in those
wallets? Whatever could be in a powder of that
size valuable enough, or dangerous enough to hide
away? Patent explosives? Too small. A secret
treasure in a doctor's house it must be a drug
Opium! Ah! I had never seen opium but, of
course, Henri would be on. And the stuff was worth
tanks of money.
They had rung for ice, and I felt that this was my
grand opportunity to slip out; but I felt sure, too,
that de Grasse was going to stay right there and take
a chance on opening that cupboard later. And I
wished we had noticed the movement of the boss's
fingers more particularly, for he just shoved the door
close and left it a section of the lacquered wall, so
very similar to other sections, beautiful and innocent
with rows of carving along the top and in between.
At last Jacobs heaved himself out of his chair and
said, " Rebecca'd be sore if they didn't show up."
He poured them a doch-an-doris for luck, and at
that my knees began to shake literally till I feared
the trembling would sure discover me. Was it going
to be possible for an eavesdropping maid to flatten
herself and escape detection? I had moved back from
the chink of observation and could see nothing in the
heavy shadow, but whisky and perfume strongly
blended assailed my protesting nose and I knew they
48 WITS AND THE WOMAN
approached. If they crowded into the shallow alcove
at the door if any of them shoved against me
I was lost ! But they moved like thoroughbreds upon
the order of their going, while I did the pancake act
and prayed. Their fat hands swayed the curtains,
one by one their sleek black heads bobbed between
the edges of my velvet screen and disappeared. I
relaxed and dropped into the nearest seat.
A number of people happened to arrive just then,
and a magpie chattering greeted the host. I noticed
with satisfaction that Joe would not have time to
search for me, and I was reasonably safe from intrud-
ing guests as the room lay out of the way; but, of
course, I dared not close myself in lest Jacobs return.
To arrange the curtains with closed edges remained
my only security, and a precious slim one. Still, risk
it I must. Softly I stole across the room and care-
fully and minutely examined the panels covering their
treasure. The secret was well hidden. I climbed
upon a chair bringing my eyes nearer to the field,
though realizing the position doomed me in case of
interruption. Being a novice in the detective job kept
me horribly uneasy. For a time my eyes and fingers
joined frantically in the search, but the lamp throw-
ing its bright rays on my illegal actions strung my
nerves so skittishly I switched it off. Luck must
serve for or against me anyway I might as well
feel for the blooming springs in the safety of dark-
ness. Feel for them I did, madly, nimbly, frisking
my fingers over the fine carved mouldings but with-
out result. Time flew, at any instant I was likely to
be frightened off, prevented. I'd never be in the
house again never have another chance.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 49
" Now, now, now ! I've got to see it now ! " I
cried, in my excitement forgetting caution and bang-
ing my fists on the offending wall. A low whirring
answered. I had started something sure! Burglar
alarms? Was I trapped?
Fear impelled me to my old hiding place, sense told
me to beat it, and perhaps be able to dodge out; but
something, Henri perhaps, petrified me to the spot.
I knew I had to see that panel open, and if it was
the springs I'd struck maybe it had buzzed for
Jacobs and I hadn't been able to hear it on the other
side of the room. I switched on the light and glued
my eyes to the wall directly in front of me. Quiver-
ing like an aspen and listening with the pores of my
skin, I waited. A matter of seconds it was, but being
so concentrated on the wrong idea I missed the real
thing.
A voice spoke close beside me and I jumped clean
into the air, whirling face about.
The sound had not come from behind me and no
one was in the library. I saw that, while I was so
intently watching for the little door to pop open, a
whole lower panel of the side wall had slid back
leaving me opposite the entrance into another room
or closet. The voice came from there.
It was a small corner not offering much comfort, as
comfort went in Jacobs's house. By a table sat a
gaunt figure wrapped in a worn gray dressing-gown.
Her hair was gray, her very flesh seemed gray, and
most uncanny of all her eyes were bandaged.
" I see him. I see him," she mumbled. " I see
him all the time."
And immediately, as though answering her, de
50 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Grasse told me. " She did it I might have known
she'd get me," hatred and admiration mingled in his
words. His stab at my understanding was subcon-
scious of course, yet it was as clear as if you were
asking for sugar in your morning coffee.
From the first I felt a strong familiarity with this
old woman. She repulsed me, and in spite of that
I understood a great wrong was being or had been
done her; not a tragic but a comic wrong, and I
commenced by tolerating her with a sort of humorous
pity. I felt a bit as if one had put up a huge prac-
tical joke and the joke had stalemated which was
odd, considering what Henri had just told me.
Aside from the horrible surprise of meeting her,
and my strange position I was scared of her too.
Scared as a shaver is scared when he is going to be
whipped. Henri didn't seem to have any of the dig-
nity of the murdered. He was scared of her
authority.
My brain was running like a trip-hammer, setting
up question marks all along the line. My first curi-
osity about the winged snake, Henri's confidential
connection with the wealthy Jacobs's secret paled into
insignificance before the fact that Jacobs was pro-
tecting Henri's murderer. Here was I face to face
with a perfect stranger, a woman three times my age,
down on her luck and suffering from a physical handi-
cap; not at all the class or type to have intrigued de
Grasse. He recognized her as his murderer and yet he
didn't pitch into her. Instead he trembled toward her
as a puppy to its master, a cub toward a stern guardian.
I twigged at once that whatever the old dame had done
to Henri, Henri had jolly well deserved it.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 51
Torn between guilt and a hang-dog desire to help her
I moved cautiously forward. De Grasse hadn't made
clear to me what his intention was and I never
knew. Very often I acted on impulse his impulse
and discovered the motive to myself after the fact.
Now I was moving vaguely, and as quiet as a mouse,
but the blind have quick ears. She heard me and
turned.
" Is that you, Samuel ? What news ? "
Her masterful tone sent an electric thrill down my
spine. I had thought it a case of a kind word to
a poor blind thing, blind and easy to circumvent. She
made me realize I was the one most likely to need
help and I turned to quit. Then what I saw made my
blood freeze. The panel was closing! Quietly,
swiftly, surely moving into place, operated by a time
lock.
With one stifled scream I leaped for the gap. The
prisoner echoed my yell in a panic of fear and grabbed
the lace of my apron. I pulled to wrench the stuff
from her hold. She held on like a vice. I tore at
the strings to get the thing off I was thumbs
thumbs thumbs !
Only for a moment her nerves had the better of her;
as soon as she recognized the feel of the mousselin she
cried out sharply, " A woman ! " and raised her hand
to the bandages.
The echo of her first words rushed over me. I
sensed foul play, that her eyes were covered to keep
out the vision of Henri's corpse whatever her mad
whim, she must not see me, must not have a tag on
me for the rest of life. In a frenzy of terror I struck
at her, and she sank into the chair, whimpering, moan-
'52 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ing. As I sprang through the wall to safety she cried
aloud and I turned and looked.
She had torn the bandage down, and above it her
live eyes glared viciously not blind, not even
cowed, but full of hate. So we regarded each other,
I in stupefication, a new sense of familiarity dawning
on me, and she mad to the bone. It was a terrible
minute while the treacherous panel glided between us
and closed. The whirring of its machinery stopped.
I cast myself on the floor and sobbed with the muffler
cut out.
From sobbing I went into a sort of swoon, and I
don't know how much of the afternoon passed before
sounds aroused me footfalls. My breath still came
with a catch that I couldn't control. The steps hesi-
tated, and began to approach again stealthily. They
came right on to the big chair. I wondered if it was
somebody else after the secret. I bit my lips to keep
back the little sighing sniffs.
Springs creaked. Evidently the intruder had
seated himself. Doubtless I was caged by a harm-
less guest stealing off for a quiet smoke; whatever
would he think, what could he think if he found one
of the maids in a heap on the floor with those de-
canters so suggestively near?
It was clearly up to me to assert my dignity the
first thing to get on my feet, without detection, if
possible. Cautiously I raised my head and looked up
straight into the face of Howard Griggs who was
peering over the chair back.
I sprang to my feet. The maid's dress, my ambi-
guous position, pulling the social wool over his eyes and
all such nonsense fled before the need of help. Relief,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 53
joy sheer, radiant joy at seeing a safe person in-
stead of the dubious stranger I expected, rushed pell-
mell over me ; and I in turn overwhelmed poor Griggs.
My black and white garb and scared face looked
spooky, and he was a believer in manifestations.
He sat back on his heels, gazing dum founded till
I gave one of those laggard, rasping sobs.
" Jove ! You ! " he gasped. " I thought it was a
dog I'm fond of dogs."
" And I took you for a cat you walked cattish."
We laughed the high spasmodic cackle of excite-
ment, and in the middle of it I slapped my hand over
his mouth. "Hist!"
My gentleman turned purple; but I commenced to
talk quick, standing close and speaking into his ear.
"Listen! Who are these people? What is wrong
with this house? "
In one embarrassed breath he told me he didn't
know the people, hadn't even the honor of their name,
had arrived by mistake and stayed out of inability to
break away.
" I was invited to some other bally place
streets all sixes and sevens what do you expect ?
They bagged me here because I met a girl upstairs
whom I did know."
I brushed the missing link aside. " This house is
queer it's wrong. But of course if you don't know
them " Answering his incredulous stare I hissed,
" I've just seen the woman who murdered de Grasse."
" Thundering stars ! What are you doing here in
these clothes ? " he asked suddenly. " Are you
nutty?"
" Never mind the clothes I'll explain some day.
54 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Concentrate on the idea that I've got to get away
quick. She saw me, and she'll tell. She'll not lose
time telling. They'll trap me. They are dangerous,
evil people. They've got opium hidden I saw it.
The walls open. It's an awful den!
" Howard Griggs," I cried, taking him by the
shoulders. " Wake up ! Get out of that chair. Help
me, help me! I tell you I've got to escape."
" Jove, yes ! " He blinked several times in rapid
succession, fumbling for his eyeglass. " I'll fetch a
cloak you can't go about that way and I'll call
a car." He was gone.
I sneaked behind the portieres and waited, but not for
long. Griggs's dispatch amazed me. I reckon he must
have done the John-Bullying act again good and lively ;
but as a matter of fact he only sauntered up, asked
for Miss Swanhill's coat, screwed his monocle into
place, intimidated Joe by a cold scrutiny and sent him
on an errand. Then I walked out wrapped in velvet
to my feet; and at the curb he put me into a private
brougham. So long as he stayed inside the social pad-
dock, Howard took his high jumps as well as any-
body I ever saw but he was no range mustang.
" Drive Miss Kendall home, and return Miss
Swanhill is leaving late," he ordered. And to me,
"The Waldorf?"
My own address signified nothing to a stranger.
Griggs repeated it to the wondering man, with utmost
aplomb, and leaned pinkly through the open window.
" I'm going up to dance with my lady now keep
her occupied, you know and I hate her ! Don't
worry, the feeling isn't mutual you will have plenty
of time. See you to-morrow."
WITS AND THE WOMAN 55
I squeezed his hand, flashing my thanks, wordless;
and a moment later, all in a svvither, I was speeding
towards Madame Buniva's.
Swither is one of Granny's Scotch expressions. It
exactly describes the state of my mind and pulse when
that ride began. After a while I felt quieter and
glanced about, taking in every detail of the swell little
automobile. Griggs's friend evidently enjoyed most of
the good things of this world. All sorts of dodgy
conveniences were fitted into its pearl gray upholstery,
among others a case filled with women's implements
in gold and crystal. I pounced on the salts bottle.
Gee ! it was strong stuff but it helped ! A sneeze or
two set my machinery working O. K.
Our elegant seclusion afforded Henri five minutes
to gather his bearings and think. Memory seized on
one circumstance after another, and dropped this, and
picked up that, and brought them all forward like a
ride-and-tie race, eventually arriving at the conclusion
we hadn't much chance if Samuel Jacobs got wise to
our whereabouts. We could trust Griggs, he being a
gentleman, more keenly interested than ever, and not
likely to split. The chauffeur was another matter.
Still pondering I sniffed a bracing whifter, and the
dinky bottle in my hand gave de Grasse an idea a
revolutionary, deck-sweeping inspiration but we
must first put them off the scent. Having thrown them
the clue of my correct address this promised difficulty,
for the driver was not likely to forget such an un-
usual locality, and I had no tip to pledge his silence.
Twice already he had stopped to ask if it was right,
and kept on, frankly under protest, into what he con-
sidered the slums.
56 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Fortunately, when we arrived, it was meal-time and
few of my neighbors were hanging around outside.
I had removed my apron and slipped the bottle down
my stocking. Now I let him see me shed the hand-
some cloak and put it back in the car.
" You have brought me too far," I said. " But
I am much obliged all the same."
Then I turned deliberately away from Madame's
and walked to the third door. It was an odd, flat
building in a row of mansard-roofs a bum board-
ing-house where persons flitted over night I was
certain he would remember it. As I paused to ring,
I could see the man staring, but only for a minute.
He shot away before the door opened, and I beat it
down those stairs and into Buniva's straight up to
my own room, thanking my lucky stars that such a
stylish arrival had not created more excitement.
I sat on the bed panting. We were sure in wrong,
and Henri said it was best to quit cold. " Everything
is a beginning." Tish! I'd come near making an
end of that old woman and wasn't ambitious to stay
in the town with her hunting me. I might have put
the chauffeur off the track, but it would be a cinch
to trace the maid and I had driven the final nail
into my coffin with a gold-topped bottle. I'd have
both search parties on the rampage unless Griggs
squared me.
Packing proved simple. My old clothes had been
left at the caterer's. I dressed in my best, put a few
articles in Granny's bag, laid the nugget, the bottle
and my purse, with all our ready money, on top, and
sallied forth. But first I wrote a note to Buniva.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 57
"Dear Madame:
" I'm stony, and going away to take a better job.
Please don't say anything to anybody. I won't for-
get the two weeks' board.
" Hastily,
" CLARISSA KENDALL.
" P.S. Sturani's uniform is in the bureau drawer.
" C. K."
No dinner for me that evening and not a mo-
ment to spare. I had to pay a visit to my uncle.
I chose a different place this time, better class, as I
was better dressed and pawning gold, and I left a
different name.
" My day for Jews," I thought, as the smelling salts
and the nugget vanished into the fat hand, so like
those other fat white hands it made me shudder. I
saw again the old woman's malign eyes glinting above
her bandages, and I remembered I had told Griggs she
murdered de Grasse. That was going far. Should
the Englishman be afflicted with a sense of public
duty he might fry a pretty kettle of fish. Not that
I cared except to keep out myself. Tinging my
lenience toward her now came the lust for vengeance.
I recognized this as my own personal feeling on
Henri's behalf. We both knew she was a bad dog
to have on our heels.
Not until the northern train was roaring and rac-
ing through tunnels with me safely tucked into a Pull-
man corner, did I get to looking on the other side of
58 WITS AND THE WOMAN
the picnic. Somewhere in the night ahead lay Cobalt
and Romance we were indeed launched on an im-
mense adventure. My spirits rocketed.
" Clarissa Kendall," said I. " What a chump you
are not to have done it before?" And I'm afraid
my self-reproach referred to borrowing that bottle.
CHAPTER V
American sleeping cars are the national proof of our
high moral character. Of late years we seem to be
slipping back or is it forward ? to drawing-
room coaches and the secluded variability of central
Europe. But the twenty- four bedded Pullman, as
originally constructed, will always be remembered to
our credit. My hasty exit from New York was the
first time I had ever met up with one of 'em; and to
add to the insult I could only get a top berth.
Sleep didn't woo me much; when it did I dreamed.
Old women started out of graves and trap doors
opened like the jaws of death. Perhaps I talked
some. They kept on rapping and tapping below and
sishing for silence. Once the man next door pounded
good and hard. Such cheek ! He was bunked head
to feet, our pillows must have lain about as close as
married people's, with only a thin board between, and
right there I made up my mind, so help me, never to
splice with a man who snored.
Finally, I grew so tired of the orchestra, and lying
on the half shell, I rang for the little set of steps
and climbed down into the gray cold morning. Gray,
did I say? Blue, indigo of the deepest dye, the early
hour slump at its worst ! Our porter saved my life by
tipping me to beat it to the dining-car right after
Buffalo. All the hungry folk had turned in early, and
I got the last vacant table, and snatched the bill-of-
59
60 WITS AND THE WOMAN
fare, for I was ravenous. One glance was enough
to convince me I could only afford coffee and rolls,
and I went through the form of writing that order
with death knocking at my hopes. When the waiter
vanished, I leaned on the table twiddling my pencil,
a picture of woe. What was coming next out
there in the wilds? What if I failed to locate Ross?
What if Henri failed me? Stray flakes of snow
drove against the pane; it grew colder. My suit,
warm enough in New York, would be like a veil to
the Cobalt wind. I began to figure the cost of eat-
ing lunch and dinner in Toronto.
My mind, weary from excitement and lack of rest,
slipped a cog. Fancy travelled backward over
yesterday's events. I saw it all Joe answering the
door^ Griggs's head like a pink balloon rising above
the step, those four in the Chinese room, the seal, the
papers, the long-nosed man counting powders, their
cache. Curiosity about those papers knew no bounds.
Why were they sealed with our winged snake, and
what had the reptile to do with Henri? What was
the snake anyway? In idleness I began to trace the
figure, as I had seen it, on the table cloth. Clarissa
isn't much with a pencil, but gradually the image of
the thing appeared its naughty head, the two out-
spread wings with their strange hieroglyphics, and,
last, its wiggly tail. Henri and I were so interested
in the creation, we failed to notice when somebody
sat down opposite. It was the man's reaching for the
order pad stirred us up to look at him.
He was a well-dressed, well-built chap under thirty,
with the sort of manner Henri calls successful; but
I'm sure an English dude like Griggs would have con-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 61
sidered him " fresh." If a skin looking clean and
healthy and well-groomed, in spite of not being shaved,
clear eyes and perfect teeth were all that went to the
freshness, the term was no term of reproach. His
thin-lipped mouth showed humorous corners, and
above a flat forehead a thick crop of brown hair rose
straight on end. Perhaps the pompadour gave him
an extra wide awake appearance, he certainly looked
smart not referring to clothes but to his head-piece.
The newcomer was on the heavy side for an athlete,
though he might have been one in his college days,
and too expeditious for a man of leisure. Put him
down, therefore, as an excellent example of an all-
round American business man, no southern, or New
England, or western type just a two or three gener-
ation American, of British stock, keen, genial,
straight- forward.
He glanced the menu over in a business-like way
and then wrote at length, while I chewed my remain-
ing bun, mixed with the cud of reflection. Oh, I had
lots to think about grievances in plenty a per-
sistent emptiness below the belt not among the least,
and hearing that man give his order was the last
straw : orange juice, cream of wheat, shirred eggs with
country sausages and flap-jacks on the side, and a full
accompaniment of coffee and hot buttered toast. Evi-
dently he had nothing to do but eat until he reached
Toronto. And the smells!
I rose in famished indignation and swept from the
scene, but at the door I couldn't resist a backward
glance. He had changed his place and was sitting in
my seat studying the drawing I had left behind. Up-
side down and down-side up he eyed the creature,
62 WITS AND THE WOMAN
and then he whipped out a red leather notebook and
proceeded to copy the winged snake.
" Make a hit-you-in-the-eye trade mark," William
Watson Duffy commented to himself, as he snapped
the elastic band and replaced the book in his pocket,
before turning his attention to his grub.
Believe me, the Lord's Day Alliance have made it
a grand bore to put in a Sunday alone in Canada. I
wandered around till I was footsore and weary, going
light on car fare, for every dime counts when you're
not sure how or where the next dollar can be gleaned,
but at that I payed a lot for storage on my body; we
all do all the while, not half realizing it. Walking
costs boot-leather, and sitting means a continual drain
in hard cash. Sitting in vehicles costs hire, sitting
in homes costs rents, sitting in hotels costs drinks
and feeds >as I discovered. W r hen flesh and blood
could stand no more, I found a cosy corner in a
mezzanine palm room, and I don't know how many
times I ordered tea and toast from three to five.
Luck was fairly hunting me all the same. While
I was leaning there on the marble rail, watching the
men in the rotunda below, I suddenly spied a familiar
figure.
" Ross ! Or, I'll eat my hat ! " I cried, pushing for
a bell hop. And when the kid came I put the question
straight.
" Yarsh," he replied, changing his wad of gum to
the other cheek. " Charley Ross Cobalt, whatcher
want? "
" Look who's here ! " my gold man cried a few
minutes later, standing like a pillar under the low ceil-
ing, and blotting out the rest of the room with his
WITS AND THE WOMAN 63
breadth. I guessed from his hearty handshake we
were glad to meet again. It was just as if we had
never stopped getting along as if Griggs had never
butted in.
Of course he felt it his duty to dissuade me from
going North, but, seeing I didn't budge from my de-
termination, he promised to be godfather to the enter-
prise.
" I'm not living in the heart of Cobalt, you know,
my claim lies up river, but I'll be there to-morrow
morning and fix you up. Maybe seeing me around
will frighten some of the wildcats away."
My eyes sparkled. " Wildcats ! Are there really
beasts of prey is it so wild can we hunt? I'm
out for adventure I'm crazy about it! "
He laughed uproariously. " Women beat the
Dutch ! Of course, if you're out for adventure, some-
body's got to fall. But why do you pick upon me? "
His laugh and his twinkling eyes and this sort of
talk, showed he was pleased as Punch over taking
Clarissa on a holiday. For there being only one train
and our tickets reading the same date, we were more
or less obliged to go together. In fact he swiped the
charge of me from the minute we met, and blew me to
an elegant dinner with several mining men gathered
round the festive board. It was a good beginning.
Henri played up in crackerjack form, and whenever
he's at his highest pitch, I queen it. The fellows
seemed quite overcome by mirth and amazement, and
Ross showed off his performing bear like a master
mountebank, roaring almost continuously himself.
The gang put up a joke on us, telegraphed ahead,
and had the Cobalt boys meet us with a royal welcome.
64 WITS AND THE WOMAN
I was all sunned up and some looker when I stepped
on to the platform; and, if it hadn't been for my
heavy escort, I'd have been mobbed.
Mining costume khaki riding pants, leather
leggings, a blue flannel shirt, and any number of thick
wool sweaters piled on according to the weather
made Ross look about the size of a heathen god; and
being god on his own claim he voted himself leave.
For a week we played together, seeing everything and
everybody. He got wise to my being short of the
ready, when I hung back from buying proper clothes,
and took a little flyer in stock on my account; and
then settled me for a morning's interview with
Timothy Eaton's catalogue. The result, a trans-
formed Clarissa, in clothes exactly seconding his own,
met with more than approval. Maybe he thought I'd
get fed up being treated so swell, and pack and quit.
He'd given me seven days to tire of mining; by the
end of that time I was just getting into my stride.
For one thing I had negotiated to pitch tent at the
doctor's. A clean room, and good food, and not too
much interference from his short-tempered, full-
bosomed Irish housekeeper, seemed princely compared
to Towne's Temperance Hotel, or even to my bunk
at Buniva's. And another very ample reason cropped
up in my having begun to make a living without work-
ing so hard that you'd notice it. Every now and
again somebody would offer to buy or sell for me and
cover before it was time to put up margin. Occa-
sionally, it came off. When it didn't, he paid the
piper. Henri held this was a piker's game and just
like a woman but it made the mare go.
Gradually, I came to understand the ins and outs
WITS AND THE WOMAN 65
and ups and downs of mining, the raging hope and
bitter disappointments which make these men mer-
curial. Ross had foreshadowed the business to me at
" The Girl of the Golden West "; and now he showed
me the actual operation from one end to the other on
his own mine the Victoria. She was a good claim.
Her veins had assayed splendidly till they side-
stepped. Now it was up to the boss to outwit faults,
relocate his fortune and get her going again; so
presently, he cut away from me and the town life,
and settled to it tooth and nail. Still there was more
fun going in Cobalt any week than I'd had in my
whole life before.
The Doc's house being central I grew kind of
central too. Some of the bunch were always dropping
in for a game.
"Which game?" Doc asked.
There must have been a dozen flirting with me, and
some hard hit but nix on the sentiment for Henri.
Every evening the deck came out sooner or later, and
that is where we made our killing. De Grasse is some
little poker player, believe me ! We won consistently,
and the boys, white sports and bred in the bone
gamblers, liked me the better for it.
Cobalt was a boom town in that day and not with-
out its features : the drug store, because of temperance
the rendezvous of good cheer, and the club, a very
select institution putting a bold face on its main line of
business and calling itself "The Mess." If a native
belonged to the Mess, he was in it otherwise away
out at the back door. A conglomerate gang, twenty
or more members, they all counted themselves my in-
timate friends. Certain personalities stood forth as
66 WITS AND THE WOMAN
mirthmakers or were noted for a genial grouch, but
Terrance O'Shaughnessy, familiarly known as the
" Terrier," remained unquestioned leader. Brown of
skin, blue of eye, ready of tongue, he was a very live
wire indeed. His small head and delicate features
giving the lie to iron muscles invited trouble and in-
directly made him famous, for loud mouthed fellows
didn't hesitate to pick a quarrel, and many a one wore
his music-box out of condition in consequence. The
hero of a hundred scraps added distinction by cursed
bad luck, endless endurance, and a weakness for the
fair sex; this being a gentlemanly inclination touched
with the magic gift of understanding, we all en-
couraged him. Don't mistake me. He was no lap
dog. The fastest paddler in a bush country enforces
respect among men but as a gambler save the
name! Every deal left him done brown on both
sides and crisp at the edges.
By deduction the " Terrier " must have been a re-
mittance man. He lived high at the Mess, with his
hand always in his pocket and several kegs of the
best brand open in his room ; and then he'd go broke,
and disappear down the French River about the date
his notes fell due; lie low a while; flash back un-
heralded; clean up his financial slate and start some-
thing. Bully-Bill, his faithful henchman, helped him
spend the money and drink the rye, and fluctuated
with him like a changing tide.
CHAPTER VI
Spring had done her worst and left it at that.
Washouts ceased from troubling, and the roads firmed
Cobalt took on a new lease of life.
Prospectors poured in, bought supplies, selected
canoes, packed their dunnage, and were swallowed
by the back country. Talk on the Doc's porch ran
over with rich veins, lucky strikes or new flotations.
Every man in the Mess that year either went out
himself or had somebody grub-staked.
Sol Graham, of course, couldn't leave the Kirk-
land ; and Charley Ross was in the same predicament
with his place doing all his prospecting right there.
He doubled his gangs and drove ahead like mad, but
rumor had it the Victoria would peter out.
For six months or more my goldman had kept me
guessing. At the opera he acted as if he might be
soft, and I put him down for a hand-holder; but up
here there were no signs of kidding. Not that I
wanted it, mind you, spooning never was my style
even before I grafted Henri, only the change got me
going. Was he afraid I would take advantage
or was his attitude just the difference between a man's
work and his play? I asked him once if he thought
the girl of the Silver North gang as true as that Goldy
Girl, and he snatched my hand and started to speak.
I don't know what switched him off. In the end he
merely pinched my elbow, and said I was a good
67
68 WITS AND THE WOMAN
card player. We never pursued the subject Henri
had had enough.
Between not seeing anything of Ross and thinking
so much about him, I worked up a real heart interest ;
and I was awfully pleased when he tethered Barnum
to the Doc's post one bright, hot noon; and asked
for it cold.'
" You're a sight for sore eyes ! " I cried. " Where
was?"
Jake Smith, sitting alongside, with his hat tilted
forward about as far as his chair was tilted back, and
spurred heels dangling like a lisping child's, grunted
welcome.
" Been working and neglecting business," Ross
said, kind of bitter. " Missed the Rock Queen rise
haven't heard any news for a month ! "
" Good things going and us not abroad. Tish !
There's wood in the woodpile."
11 Musson's canned me," he croaked. That was
his dandy foreman, and a big loss. " Gone prospect-
ing on his own. I saw the ' Terrier ' in town
wonder he's not out after it. Season's well advanced
what's doing?" I caught him glancing my way.
" Lots around here," said the Doc with a wink.
" Poetry."
" Quit talking through your hat," growled Jake.
Charley sat sizing me up rather keen. And I
actually blushed, making it look- as if "the fat was in
the fire.
" Gospel truth," I affirmed hastily. " Terry has
been throwing off verses high brow quality.
Makes you cow boys bulk about thirty cents." We all
laughed.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 69
" Terry's passing the time of day with you,
youngster." Jake spoke as he willed. He was
notorious for taking liberties and living up to them.
" The boy's under contract to Bagster regarding
those Lelland claims, and he's got to hang around
with nothing particular to do."
" Lelland ! " exclaimed Ross, pricking his ears.
"What's new?"
Bagster, a hard-shell promoter and financier, and a
grabber from the word go, had made, to date, by far
the biggest clean-up in Cobalt; things he was in-
terested in were good. The Lelland was generally
known to show two enormous veins lying open to the
sunshine. All one had to do was to go and gather
the stuff in. This plum, however, had fallen away
at the back of beyond, and lay fast locked in unbroken
wilderness. Very few of those who raved about its
wealth had ever set foot on its precious mud, or
passed within miles of it.
Jake continued to rumble information, and we all
listened, take it from me !
" Fault in the title going to be thrown open one
of these days then watch the rush."
" Damn ! I never knew it ! Might as well be
dead as out of touch."
We jumped, every one, and turned amazed eyes on
Ross. Always careful of his speech before ladies
he was now fighting mad, as I had never seen him
yet. The doctor began to talk quietly, rubbing his
glasses.
" That will be the biggest haul of the year, easily.
Bagster had an option on the property at two millions,
before he got wind of the trouble. He allowed it to
70 WITS AND THE WOMAN
lapse. I only wish I was an engineer and pioneer
like the rest of you it's a great opportunity."
" You stand as good a chance of winning, Doc, as
any of us. Bagster has the Terrier tied up in some
sort of financial scrape, hard and fast, and with the
Terrier and Bully paddling no one can beat him.
Knowing the country so well, they will be in and
stake the claim and out to register it, before the others
are half way there Bagster saves his two million,
all right."
" Not so fast," says Ross, quietly. " The claim
will be open. A man might camp "
Jake shoved back his hat, thrust forth an aggres-
sive chin, and settled the chair legs with a resounding
whack.
" How in hell are ye going to know the date, if ye
camp? There being no mortal means of communica-
tion with that claim except by water, the man who's
fastest with the paddles gets the mine."
" Bet you ten to one Bagster don't," Charley re-
plied, smiling. " I'm going to have a hard try against
him."
" Done," cried Jake. " What in? "
" Hundreds."
Ross unfolded from the lower step and walked over
to Barnum. " Got to get busy," he sang out.
I watched his eyes. He acted and looked like a
different man had he an idea? All at once Henri
was taken with one of his yearnings towards dear
old Ross; it made me get up and go over there, and
I caught the bridle before he mounted, saying:
" Walk a bit let's talk. I haven't seen you in a
dog's age and you rush away faster than a rocket."
As he fell in beside me, I slipped an arm through his.
It looks loverlike enough in writing, but you ought
to have viewed the place. A short cut leads by the
doctor's fence across to the main north road. There
is more undisturbed ground here than anywhere else
in the district, and perhaps an acreage of lush grass
lying along the rail fences. The eastward and windy
side is planted in pine, so that pine needles carpeted
the road, while sapling birch trees, in full young leaf,
leaned towards each other on the lower bank, making
a dappled shade and a semblance of privacy just
the spot for confidences.
The Doc had been prophesying I'd fall for this lane
as soon as spring was fairly awake; and I could see
him making faces at Jake, and guess the form of his
conversation next time we met. Ah if he had
only known.
" The Lelland is a big chance," I began. " Do you
really think we can do anything?"
" We ? " My quasi-sentimental companion almost
overdid his part. Warmth^ softened his voice.
" Two heads are better than one," I said quietly,
for danger lay in confusing Henri's passions and mine.
" So she thinks she can beat Bagster ! You're the
gamest little girl I ever met." His arm slid around
me. I drew away it was no time for twaddle
and answered, serious as a judge:
" I have a hunch we can win."
The big man stood gazing down at me for fifty
seconds; then, something hard came over him. He
tossed his head impatiently, like a colt fresh haltered.
"You're right, kid the job won't wait. If I
think up anything, I may tell you I'll let you in.
72 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Be good. And, say keep an eye on the Terrier
for me."
He sprang to his horse and galloped off down the
sun-spattered road, leaving behind him a beautiful
young fury, who tore her hair at his patronage,
stamped her foot at sex, and ground her teeth with
determination to beat old Bagster and others.
" I may tell you." How those words rankled ! He
didn't take me seriously after all these months.
" Speculative enterprises closed to women " put up
the bars. If I thought of any scheme I would be
obliged to tell him in order to work it out.
Chance opportunity. Henri's slogan. I was at
last face to face with the gigantic moment of my life.
" Keep cool, keep cool," I whispered, suppressing
myself all the way back. And once in my room, and
the door fastened, I settled with a perfectly concen-
trated mind to do that terrific head stunt.
I never moved all through the tiresome white after-
noon ; but just sat staring inward exerting every
mental faculty thinking thinking.
Footsteps came and went; knuckles rapped for en-
trance and gave up; the tea gong boomed five times,
insisting on its office, and hummed to silence. Still I
sat on. The boys began to drop in; merry voices
floated to me through the luminous northern twilight.
I noted Terry's among them, glad I was not working
for his personal defeat. Then I became detached.
I was aroused. Scraping feet and chair legs fore-
told the mood downstairs ; the game began and
silence fell.
Dumb and inactive my body rocked to and fro, and
my mind kept company, creaking the old boards but
WITS AND THE WOMAN 73
never striking a new note. Waterways and paddles,
waterways and paddles, lakes and rivers and canoes
by what other means could one dare to hope to pene-
trate that vast unbroken wilderness?
Gee! The wheels in my head spun and all for
nothing. I trusted Ross wasn't lying by for such a
fruitless effort.
Silence silence. Occasionally a wrangle of voice
from below, but out in the night silence. And
then crash! The crash of doom.
Our house shivered in every timber, windows rat-
tled, glass fell tinkling, the furniture hopped along my
rag carpet, the lamps swayed on their brackets. As
I ran out into the hall, one banged downstairs and flew
to a thousand atoms. The bunch were crowding in
the doorway, talking excitedly. Jake threw a mat
over the burning oil, and somebody called loud :
" Don't be scared ! It's only a big charge at the
Pontiac night shift working. A little too close for
comfort!"
I heard them shuffle to the sideboard, for shock
loves stimulant, and back to their places.
" Deal the cards," said the Doc. " I smell trouble.
Let's have another round before we're called."
"Coming in, Clarissa?"
" Nope." But I wanted to just the same. My
door banged, shutting out temptation. I might as
well have sat in the game who could think after
such a hurly-burly! In spite of determination my
wits went wool-gathering. Without the least idea of
side-tracking the car, I'd suddenly find myself at the
Victoria. I'd shake myself and start over; and five
minutes later would be wondering how Ross was
74 WITS AND THE WOMAN
getting on. The ticking clock accentuated monotony,
only relieved by a dull roar once in a while from our
lively neighbour.
I rose and paced the little room fighting off stupor.
" Clarissa Kendall," said I, " hold yourself alert.
This is one of the hours about which literature is as
a scaffold, and play-acting but the bricks and mortar.
This is Fate's tremendous climax for you every-
thing hangs in the balance. You either win out and
be something from this time on or you sink to the
level of the scrap heap perhaps marry do and
become something utterly ordinary. You've been up
here since lunch-time keeping a nice jog trot over
other people's tracks now get busy and blaze a trail.
We've got to strike for ourselves. We've got to get
right away from the water and go inland. We've
got to manage to go inland quicker than the boys can
paddle we've got a devil of a job, for it's thick
woods every inch of the way. We've got to "
Pontiac roared again heavily, and all at once the
big idea up and slapped me in the face biff! Just
like that.
" Got it ! Got it ! so help me ! " I cried, driving
one fist into the other palm. " I own the mine I
own two million dollars' worth of mine I own the
Lelland!"
And we did own it without possibility of failure, if
my plan went through but I must have help.
A dash of temper, like the bitters in a cocktail,
makes life tasty. I thought of Ross and hated him.
But he had been a good pal. It was up to me to take
him in. I owed it to him and I must have help.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 75
No longer cool plumb intoxicated, plumb crazy,
I capered in my joy. Then, canned it sudden, for my
scheme required time, and every hour saved might
mean success. Shoes in hand I sneaked down past
the dining room door; I fanned my fingers thumb
to nose, and grinned my compliments at the bunch
playing their measly dollar-limit, and flung a leg over
Pepper Pot, Jake's fiery young mare.
Silent as a pair of hold-up men we edged down
to the short cut, and then, throwing caution to the
winds, shot out a flying unit in the night.
Rockefeller'd sell the Standard Oil to feel a tenth
of our elation. Success sang in the warm air stream-
ing by, a heart light as a feather challenged Fate.
Exultation burst forth in whoops of joy. If I'd
packed a gun, I'd have been shooting up the place.
Gee! what it means, that mood! Wasting cartridges
just to hear it bark !
Whooping kept the nag to her pace fine, Jake having
known joy in his day too. But by-and-by the roads
hardened and we slowed down. I wasn't taking any
chances on a horse's legs particularly his horse.
With the slackening of our pace my mood suddenly
changed. I became keenly alive to some mysterious
force resisting me. The uncanniness of it appalled.
I knew I was in the center of a great battle which I
could neither see, nor hear, nor feel. I noticed the
sky had gloomed up. Over my head stars twinkled,
but a wall of solid blackness rose like a rock in front.
Pepper put up her nose and sniffed and whinnied.
Big drops splashed on my hands. We were in for a
storm, sure, but I reckoned a horse was neither sugar
76 WITS AND THE WOMAN
nor salt and urged her forward. She cowered. The
darkness held a menace for horseflesh too. I felt my
hand on the rein shaking.
A bolt of lightning fell through the sky straight
to earth. It cut the night like a band of bright ribbon,
and turned blackness into tawny yellow. Some
storm! Another bolt fell, and another and another.
Lightning rained from heaven. It didn't seem pos-
sible that they were falling harmlessly into the great
wilderness separating the Lelland from Cobalt. With
the first of the shocks my companion planted her feet
firmly, and refused to budge. I got down, tugging
on the bridle, but it was no use; she stood as firmly
fixed as a bronze statue. Jake's horse taking on so
about a rain shower! I flecked her with the whip till
she whinnied.
So far there had been no sound, now the thunder
struck us peal after peal. It roared around us. A
battery of great guns seemed to be stationed in every
quarter of the compass. The power of the storm
shook the rocks on which we stood. Quite suddenly
I was overcome by a terrific nausea. I felt as if I
were fighting against horrible odds in a losing fight.
I couldn't get my breath right. I couldn't think, it
was as if Nature had withdrawn her support. And
then I knew that Nature must be against me, even as
I was against Nature. I saw Henri de Grasse and
Clarissa Kendall, two souls in a single body, as a ter-
rible blot on the order of things, a blasphemy against
every natural law.
I felt I was cursed. I was in a worse plight than
Cain's. I had not unnaturally killed my brother, but
I had unnaturally made him live. Even in the animal
WITS AND THE WOMAN 77
shivering at my side I found evidence of the
monstrous iniquity.
" You will never prosper," voices of the storm sang.
" We are against you. Beware ! " My heart sank
into my boots; animal fear communicated itself to me.
I leaned against the horse and shook, and the more
I shook the more she shook. We shivered there to-
gether, my face hidden in her neck, while the bolts
continued to split the north, turning banked clouds
into a tawny daylight.
A sharp noise pierced the roll of thunder, the rattle
of hailstones on bush. We stood in the open and the
stones flung themselves against us, yet they were less
real than the facts hurling through my chaotic senses.
" You are against Nature and Nature is against
you Look out! " I groped in black terror, but had
never an idea of giving up. When the storm had
emptied its wicked heart, and slid away to the south-
west, I remounted Pepper, and we proceeded wearily
to the Victoria.
The bunk houses sheltering Charley's wops lined
the road, and I didn't fancy riding between them,
so I tethered my pony, and cut across to the office
where Ross lived. A glance in at one of the windows
gave me his whole situation. He sat at a table cov-
ered with section maps, his head sunk in his hands.
The slope of his shoulders that tired look put
me wise to his being broke. Things looked worse
than gossip represented them. I guessed Charley
was keeping a stiff upper lip. Mines aren't much on
accommodation and discomfort's hell when one's
down and out. His bunk wasn't made up looked
as if it hadn't been since Musson left. Wearing ap-
78 WITS AND THE WOMAN
parel lay about, muddy boots had been kicked off and
let lie anyhow. Dinner, untouched, sat on the back
of the stove, while a coffee pot kept company with the
lamp and maps. I saw at once Ross was one of those
nice burly man-children, who never grow up and are
utterly incapable of taking care of themselves.
While I watched, he straightened out his long legs,
rammed his hands deep into his pockets, and glowered
at the floor. He looked all in despondent to the
verge of suicide; so I beat it 'round to the front and
banged a regular salvo for admittance.
Charley, standing, filled the whole opening; and
surprise there isn't a star in the film world could
match his face.
" I've got it ! The Lelland's ours ! " I cried, and,
not waiting for a welcome, pushed inside.
He blinked owlishly. " Clarissa Kendall ! At this
time what's up ? "
" Bagster's up the spout."
He didn't seem to hear, and, now the moment had
come, I was trembling. My plan bubbled out topsy-
turvy.
" We'll need men and dynamite lots of it. The
charges must be awful big a dozen camps won't
give you the right start." Words tumbled out faster
and faster, till I saw him register the " are-you-mad "
expression; and I flopped into a chair to recover
breath.
"Wake up, man! I'm onto it do you hear?
The Lelland's ours." Damnation! he was going to be
polite and fatherly.
" I'm not drunk ! " I yelled, and then, mastering
emotion, tried another line.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 79
" This is a deal between you and me is it fifty-
fifty ? Do you want to come in or shall I carry my
idea elsewhere ? There's not an hour to lose take
it or leave it." That stung. Make any human being
mad, and it's serious at once.
I pounded my fists on the table.
" Listen There's only one thing will travel
through this country faster than the Terrier and Bully-
Bill in a light canoe and that is sound. We are go-
ing to signal the news in."
He got me. I never saw a man so flabbergasted.
For long seconds he stood staring as though without a
ray of intelligence, but all the while his brain was mak-
ing lightning dashes, hither and thither, through the
Canadian bush. He turned. Feverish shuffling of
the maps and hurried calculations convinced him of the
scheme's workability ; and then the giant sought for me
with bloodshot eyes.
" Girl ! " he cried. " We're made ! Shake on it."
I guess I was more pleased at being treated like a
real man partner, than over any amount of palaver.
We sat down on opposite sides of the table and
worked out details; and, when all was ready, Ross
strode to the door, flung it open, and bellowed into the
night. Night did I say? It was cold gray morn-
ing.
"Hi, there, boys! Shorty Green, hi!"
A whisk of wind scampering around the corner
tossed his great voice across the clearing. And while
we waited for signs of life, I did a little calculating on
my own.
From the moment we heard of the fault in title de
Grasse had been rampant. I thought like de Grasse,
80 WITS AND THE WOMAN
acted like him, was de Grasse in fact pushing the
woman part clean aside. Now she came bobbing up
to complicate matters morning light always gets a
woman whose been at large in the dark. I wanted
to bring the matter before Ross nicely.
" Jake's lost his horse," I said. " And it looks to
me as if I might be going to loosen up a bit on char-
acter. Do you think Miss Clarissa had better slide
before the men reach here?"
" Too late now," he replied. " Seeing you leave
would start a lot more questions than finding you in
camp. I should have sent you home."
" Let be," I jollied, hating to spoil our triumph by
worry. " With a million dollars, I'll not miss it any."
Already we caught the tramp of hob-nailed boots,
and the hands came trooping in.
" You're all leaving here within the hour," ordered
Ross. " Get the canoes afloat, load dynamite to capac-
ity, and grub-stake yourselves for ten days."
He signed that some of the older men should re-
main, and spieled it to them in a few words.
" Look here ! " indicating the maps. " We'll lay a
charge at Halsy's Wharf, another by Fisher Creek.
One at the bend will carry beyond the reserve, and
from there to Long Inlet. We're not taking any
chances on a contrary wind. Lay them close and
heavy. Make the most of the sound, boys, you know
how here, and here, and here. Two men will stay
at each camp. Miss Kendall is my partner in this,
Green, she'll pass the word from town to you. Better
put our first charge on the portage. I'll be waiting at
the head of Duck Lake and beat the others to it."
CHAPTER VII
Doc gave me a curtain lecture, and took my word
that I had been out all night on most important busi-
ness. And when I'd settled the question of the bor-
rowed horse with Jake, I lapsed into watchful wait-
ing.
Playing amateur detective to the Terrier's progress
felt almost like a regular romance. A game wasn't a
game unless he sat in it. I was a hound on his track.
To receive him early and speed him late; ride with
him, dance with him, talk for him became the goal of
life. He came and went as usual, and it was surpris-
ing what a variety of small errands matured about
leaving time, so that Clarissa went along.
Society was on tip-toe with excitement, such a rush
not having been expected from one who had always
maintained the happy balance of hail-fellow-well-met
with the entire outfit. But their New Yorker was
changed. She developed a passion for strong drinks ;
some male or other was forever piloting her in the di-
rection of the soda tank. I spent hours hanging on to
the drug store bar, for that was where the round up
generally took place, and gossip was always on sched-
ule there if not ahead of time. You could get bet-
ter tips buying a toothbrush in Cobalt than paying for
a dozen quarts in any city joint and it was gossip
for mine those days.
Absolute certainty lay in keeping the Terrier under
81
82 WITS AND THE WOMAN
lock and key meaning strict supervision so I di-
vorced etiquette, and every time he appeared on the
street, I'd go out and flag him.
" Making yourself too cheap, kid," growled Jake.
" You're overdoing it."
And I was. By the fourth day my quarry turned
mouse-shy that is how I came to miss his getaway.
Green stormed in one morning white about the gills.
" What in the blankety blank blank blank
blank! Don't you know O'Shaughnessy and Bully
left town yesterday? "
My spine went soft as a pail of mush. " But the
claims aren't open ! " I stammered.
" They've got something up their sleeve. There's
nothing to prevent them tapping our wires, if they're
on. That Dan Toms is a low-down, yellow-livered
cuss heaven help him if I find a leak! "
" Our signals ! You don't mean they've got wise to
our scheme! They wouldn't dare. Why we could
throw them off with one little false blast."
" And pitch ourselves into the ditch too. Who's to
tip our boys that we're raising the bets out of malice?
We don't start no signals till the claims are open."
My spirits tumbled into deepest midnight. Hope
lay down on me. I was obsessed again by the terrific
sense of Nature in all her power and might being
arrayed against us. And when news of the Lelland
being opened fired the town, I went out to get my nag
with a lead sinker in place of my heart.
There's tonic in a gallop on a fine clear day, one's
pulses answer to the rhythmic thudding of the horse's
hoofs. We cut the time to the Victoria pretty close,
and I managed a regular " cheer, oh " for Green and
WITS AND THE WOMAN 83
the boys. Our enthusiasm mounted during the hasty
embarking and the straight bright course we steered to
portage. Gleaming paddles dipped and carried for-
ward shimmering and dipped again ; and all our breath
was in our work. We were ahead of the rush and
wasted no time before setting off the fuse.
Dizzy thunder overwhelmed us. Lord! What a
charge! Then we stood tense in the silence straining
every nerve to hear, till from far away there sounded
back the ghost of an explosion. Johnson and Foster,
camped beyond, had got our news and sped it. At a
single crack, we were away ahead of the game but
were we ? Nature was working with us, she had car-
ried our signal, but we could not code her. She
screamed her message on the hilltop for all initiated
ears to understand.
A fellow who was holding down a bum claim near
portage came over to ask what all the row was about,
and did we think we were blowing up a blooming for-
tress, or only prospecting on government property?
He said the Terrier and Bully had gone through a
couple of days before. Hustling they were, but look-
ing powerful well set up and pleased with the universe.
It was his opinion nobody had a chance against them
two for the Lelland.
Green and I avoided each other's eyes. We were
mortally certain now tj^at somebody had tipped them
off. A chain is no stronger than its weakest link
and it took a lot of links to reach into that northern
wilderness. Still, Ross was ahead, well ahead, if he
hadn't got into difficulty and had to turn back. But
he was alone and the Terrier and Bully were awful
fast paddlers.
84 WITS AND THE WOMAN
The sickening sense of failure lay upon my spirits
like a pall. I got out of bed with it in the morning
and covered myself with it at night. And Nature did
her damnedest. A bright dry spell gave place to tear-
ing winds, and the winds brought the smell of scorched
brush to our very door step. Things were doing up
North. I knew it would take something more than
trivial to turn Ross from his goal but a forest on
fire is no child's toy. What is having a start com-
pared to being out of the woods, literally? As soon as
I finished worrying over the fire, a new line started.
Ross was ahead of the game; he was expert and care-
ful, and had his nerve with him, and he wasn't under
that mad pressure of haste that drives a man beyond
his better judgment as a matter of fact he'd be giv-
ing the Terrier two days more than was coming to him.
Gee! If he didn't hustle!
Then there was the possibility of a blow on one of
the wide lakes, a mess in the rapids, an upset with loss
of boat and grub, which would mean striking for civ-
ilization the sooner the better. I cursed our arrange-
ment for the last blast, which had necessitated Ross's
going on alone and yet that last blast might be the
straw to break our rival's back. Our signals must
have travelled farther than the enemy could make in
forty-eight hours. Barring accidents barring acci-
dents ! But I wouldn't let myself build on it. And we
had no news.
In the blighted uncertainty of those days Clarissa
commenced to hanker for town; for lights and noise
and people and buildings and for a less strenuous
life. Oh, to be lost in a crowd once more, unhonored
and unsung and unobserved. Cobalt looked sud-
85
denly vulgar and raw, compared to her sisters, a stupid
little busy-body. I resented Jake's counsel and even the
Doc's mild jokes. I refused to swap yarns with the
bunch. My mind was entirely full of one adventure
the end of which was yet unwritten. A more thor-
oughly disagreeable hotch-potch of ill-humor, nerves,
uncertainty and expectation couldn't have been found
to dine at anybody's table. I marvel Doc didn't throw
me out by the scruff of the neck.
And all the while I was rude to them, I was cogitat-
ing in the bottom of my brain pan, that maybe I'd dig
out if Ross got back safe.
He did get back safe and first. He beat the Ter-
rier to it by an hour and a half. He'd just finished his
job and was enjoying a pipe preparatory to starting
home, and chuckling to think how much time he had
on the rest, when the two showed up. It's lucky for
him it was Terry, any couple of ordinary roughhouse
prospectors would have murdered him on the spot, or
have done him dirt in some way. But O'Shaughnessy
was born a gentleman, and he stood for fair play all
along the line. Bully told how they hung on Ross's
trail every mile of the way back, hoping he'd come a
cropper. But he picked up his own boys at the first
camp, and a couple more farther down. By the time
they reached Portage there was a regular army of
them ready to defend our man and our rights against
all comers.
Immediately on registering the claims Ross an-
nounced my partnership; and I'll own I was tickled
to death to find him giving me full credit for the idea.
Our crowd could hardly believe their ears. They did
the handsome thing by me. We celebrated long and
86 WITS AND THE WOMAN
broad and wide; and of course Henri, being beyond the
grasp of their practical minds, girlie had to stand up
and take the salutes. But de Grasse proved right
again it's safer not -to attract too much attention.
After the pow-wow those boys began to fall away,
scared I think. Men don't like women who are ca-
pable of beating them. I soon understood the Lelland
business had cooked my goose with the bunch. Some
of the old hands had grown grouchy, while I appeared
to be so mad about the Terrier; and now they saw
through that game they turned scornful as well as
peeved didn't take any stock in it or me. Terry
himself wasn't struck on being a loser, so he made
tracks for the bush, quick.
But the most startling part of the change sprang
from my turning into a capitalist. Ross sold the claim
straight to Bagster for over two millions, and plunked
down fifty per cent, like a white man. I was rich
enormously rich rich beyond my wildest dreams.
Dollars burnt my pockets; I pined for the open and
limitless spending ground of Broadway and Fifth Ave-
nue. Moreover, it wasn't any fun to be in Cobalt and
not ring in with the right crowd. One by one, as my
steadies dropped from the lists, new blood rushed in ;
and the weight of Success again blighted my innocent
enjoyment. I had to keep a hold on the dough now
it was up to me to look out for sharks in the swimming
pool. Men I had never known came up and gave me
the glad hand like they'd been intimates all our lives.
Speculators strove to cultivate me I was bored. It
seemed as if every heavy champion in the countryside
made an excuse to stop at Doc's.
" Octopuses," Jake called them. " They're after
WITS AND THE WOMAN 87
you, girl. Scutter and leave him to me," he'd
croak from under his broad brim, when we saw a
stranger coming. By-and-by I fled the veranda al-
together; the drugstore and the main street knew my
face no longer; a chill began to creep over our evening
game.
No complaints, mind you, I'm only telling how it
was. After all we'd glammed in the north what we
set out for, and I guess when you've got yours its
pretty generally always time to quit.
Ross came around a lot to make up for the cold shoul-
der. Things began to look as if he was more than on
the inside; and remarks could be winged frequently
about his paying over a million sans struggle, because
he was so jolly sure of getting it back with interest.
It being none of the town's business, we kept right on
going together. I liked him and he liked me; we'd
been first rate pals, and we'd brought off something
big, shoulder to shoulder, which creates about the nice-
est kind of tie and relationship. I never gave his side
a serious thought, till one evening down in the short
cut.
I was dressed up and I had to hold my skirts with
both hands, the road being squashy along those fields.
The night was sweet. Watching from Doc's stoop,
moon and trees and sky had rested as still as death, but
a tiny breeze blowing there by the river whisked a lock
across my face. It was maddening. I shook my
head and flopped the hair back, and blew upward, and
each time the lock floated over again. Soon, I was
tossing like a cow in a pasture full of green flies. Ex-
asperated beyond enduring the pesky thing I turned to
Ross:
88 WITS AND THE WOMAN
"Just tuck the hair back, will you, please? It's
worse than a New Jersey mosquito ! "
Who'd ever have thought a nose tickle could lead
to sentiment!
He raised his hand, glanced at it and hesitated, as
though his servant were going into action over some-
thing high and holy, and wasn't, perhaps, quite fit for
office. And then he fixed me up Ai. But I knew by
his hesitation that I'd started trouble. A man don't
hold off about touching a girl, unless he cares for her,
and means to get her where the other fellows will have
to hold off for keeps.
We travelled a bit and leaned on a barred gate ad-
miring the palish landscape ; there he snatched an occa-
sion to sail right in. He told me he was stony-broke
at the Victoria stony flat-broke not knowing how
to pay the men, hardly, and almost in despair, when I
came along and gave him the big idea. " Gave it to
me," were the words he emphasized.
Of course, being a man and having got something,
he wanted a whole lot more. He wouldn't ask me
while he was broke, he said ; which explains his shying
off once or twice, but now things looked different.
I kind of wanted to stay up there and marry Ross.
You see I was plumb scared afraid of my own luck
and he shone a fixed star in a fluxing firmament.
He was so manly and big and safe. I discounted
town-tattle, knowing he had enough for himself and
brains to make good on the start; probably his half of
the fortune would spell ten times, when mine had
dwindled to a fraction. I felt pitifully small com-
pared to the money and the blood-suckers' interest
in the money experiencing how it had upset my
WITS AND THE WOMAN 89
apple cart with the boys made me timid; but it wasn't
the business end I was thinking of so much then, as his
needing me round to sort up that shack. However,
what's the use? Henri would have none of it.
Things looked different, as Ross said; that's where
the rub came. They looked different to Henri also.
He was crazy to get out and play with my bank bal-
ance. I was overwhelmed in a new and personal sense
by the idea of being against Nature. In a flash I un-
derstood these weeks of restlessness I realized I had
no choice but Manhattan.
Charley took this medicine like a man there was
no apparent need to feel weepy after all he wasn't
a loser on my account. We had made him a present of
a cool million.
CHAPTER VIII
The first thing I did when I reached " little old New
York," and had put up on the level at the Ritz, was to
strike for Bain & Dingley's lingerie department, and
buy about half the stock I used to spend so much of
my time selling.
I piled the choicest confections into a taxi and took
them right home some class to being at home in the
palm parlors! And after wallowing in hot water,
which was a treat too, Doc's joint having sold short
on baths and not having covered, I spent a whole day
slipping those lush garments off and on, and admiring
myself in ribbony, lacy, delicious, delicate icy-creamy
finery. Wasn't I the doll ! But say ! The cash I ran
through fairly made my eyes water.
Gold doesn't have a chance to burn one's pockets
long in a metropolis. It burns too hot. That quaint,
peculiar odor folks associate with London they will say
is fog Lummy! It's the smell of scorching cloth;
and we've got the same here attributed to other causes.
Getting together a wardrobe didn't occupy a week ; and
presently I began to sup the bitter dregs of idleness. I
hadn't a thing to do no place to go but out, nothing
to wear but clothes. It's right lonely and a trifle cold
sitting on top of a million plunks, unless one knows the
signals for the other people in the same altitude and my
list of acquaintances ranged chiefly in Bain & Ding-
ley's, which Henri had scored off.
90
WITS AND THE WOMAN 91
During the third week my spirits ran so low I hiked
down to see old Buniva. Of course I'd paid her the
board money and sent her an extra ten to sweeten her
dinner of herbs, so she rushed at me in really embar-
rassing joy; talked volubly of a full house and an easy
pocket ; and regretted she couldn't let me have my old
room. Gee ! I showered her with questions trying to
find out if Jacobs had made any attempt to nab me.
And thinking about him and all the shady business
gave me a notion to hunt up Howard Griggs.
The ghost of my last appearance might be laid.
Nobody would suspect a young lady domiciled at the
Ritz Carlton, and paying her bills regularly, of such a
crime as a petty theft. I wondered how Griggsy had
squared it with the owner of the sniff bottle, and
determined, if he was on this side of the pond, to
learn without delay.
His club acknowledged him within hail, so I beat
it to the unconscious fence and gathered in my wares.
Sight of Ross's nugget glued me all up with senti-
ment, but by the evening I had recovered sufficiently
to compile a neatly worded note apologizing for having
carried away Miss Swanhill's belonging, packed
among my things by mistake, and asking him to tea
next day.
For all the world like Henri and me at work in the
old quarters! It gaye us quite a little fillip toward
adventure.
At our last meeting Griggs had played up fine, and
we counted on him as a good scout. I didn't for a
minute fancy his hounds had been nosing my track;
but nevertheless I knew there was going to be a large
slice of explanation served with our little party.
92 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Now that appearances didn't cut much ice ; when we
weren't wanting to interest Howard particularly, or to
exploit his interests ; and I could don one choice dress
or five according to my whim, getting ready wasn't
anything like the same pure joy. I wore a marvel-
lous greenery-bluerie, slimpsy, net and silk affair,
with high heeled, conspicuously buckled shoes, rival-
ling Mrs. Jacobs's, and a regular poultice of violets on
my front. An astonishing hat that had set me back
three hundred bucks topped the bow. Say, I wish
the Cobalt crowd could have seen me !
H. G. turned up on time, as round and pink and
kiddish looking as ever, and bubbling enthusiasm. I
reckon nobody would have guessed his age for what
it was, but when one came to know him he had a
great deal of savvy, as he'd proved helping me out
of that last scrape. And would you believe it, he
acted so refined and considerate over the subtraction
of milady's bottle, making light of the inconvenience,
and not asking one question ; I was suddenly moved to
tell him all about the opium, and cast hastily for an
excuse to be wearing a maid's uniform.
In his gentlemanly way Howard gave me to under-
stand he had never entertained suspicions not en-
tirely complimentary, and was deft enough to furnish
the excuse himself.
" I thought ah you must be a detective. A
female Sherlock Holmes, don't you know, doing it for
fun, and all that. Girls go in for such queer pas-
times in America."
" You disapprove of us, and yet you hang around,"
I laughed.
He raised a downy pair of brows. " Spend nine
WITS AND THE WOMAN 93
months in New York! jolly likely!" Then he
hurried on, fearful lest he had wounded my deeper
sentiment.
"I've been home since you left and I'm going
again. But I have to return. Really, I occupy the
post of watch dog, appointed by a troublesome, de-
ceased, male relative. So long as my niece Angelica
desires to remain, I'm booked to stick along and
ah take care of her."
The subject of Angelica, probably a flapper in pig-
tails and a knee skirt didn't interest me 'specially, so I
waded into my tale.
Thinking up the old excitement and dragging it all
out for our guest's inspection proved very upsetting
to de Grasse. We had been so completely and happily
occupied making a fortune in Cobalt, he seemed to
have forgotten that awful woman, the winged snake,
the Jacobs and their opium den. But now his blood,
or rather mine, boiled with indignant vexation.
Henri started talking and I couldn't stop him I
was terribly afraid Griggs would fancy Clarissa had
been imbibing too freely, particularly at the snake
part. But he, being a crank on hypnotism, agreed
with every detail, and was certain the symbol, having
come to me at the time of the murder, must be the
key to the murderer. Then I gave Henri his head.
I suppose it is natural for a man to wax graphic over
murder a murder in his own family even if he
is the corpse.
Griggs electrified me by his keen spirit. He wanted
to turn in and help us chase them. Of course it was
the super-physical, super-mental brush of the serpent's
wings that drove him to such thoroughly un-English
94 WITS AND THE WOMAN
lengths, and the chances are he'd get cold feet once
at home again under his valet's eagle eye, but for the
nonce we three were white hot on the scent and we
did enjoy ourselves.
Howard sat forward, elbows on table, his hands
supporting his chubby chin, and his white spats en-
twining the lower rung of a gild-edged chair.
" You said, at the time, something about de Grasse
bally funny would you ah care to repeat
it?"
" Sure. No objections to putting myself on record.
The old party murdered de Grasse I'll be sworn to
that." .
" But, I say ! How do you know ? Rummy thing
her hiding there, isn't it? What makes you think she
referred to him? "
Even Griggs could hardly be expected to stand
for the real truth about Henri and me, so I saw I'd
have to clam up some on facts.
" I've got a hunch," I said positively. " And, more-
over now this will astonish you although the old
woman was bandaged so that I saw her upper face
first, and then the lower part, and never the whole
of it at once, I'd swear yes, I'd almost swear she
was Lady Deer ing."
Astonish him ! Heavens ! My shot took effect
like a gas bomb. The boy sat back stunned, grinning
at me with fixed eye-balls and a dropped jaw. He'd
gone limp all up and down his spine, so I ordered
brandy, and babbled nothings till he got his second
wind.
" Ah ah impossible, quite impossible " he
floundered. And taking himself in hand. " Jove,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 9$
you know, it can't be Lady Deering is my niece."
My turn on the high trapeze. " Niece ! " I cried.
" Niece! Why she's more than old enough to be your
mother ! "
He drained the brandy glass, round-eyed still in
amazement, and gasped out bits of their family his-
tory for my enlightenment.
"Corking situation eh? Second marriages
youngest sons, and all that happens in the best of
families. Old lady handed over to me as a ward till
1920 no ages mentioned in the will only dates.
Crazy old Indian beggar, mad on dates. Got to put
up with it or go into chancery. I ah 'I can
assure you that Lady Deering is perfectly respect-
able."
We roared with laughter, while confusion painted
me tomato red, and Henri, blandly smiling, thought
his own thoughts.
To squelch Henri, and extricate myself from the
social mess, I began to tell how the snake sign had
been bothering me since my return to New York.
Griggs was immensely interested, and wanted me to
spiel it before some of his high-brows on spiritualism
suggested arranging an interview with Angelica.
But there Henri refused point-blank.
" The funny thing is," I continued, " that hiero-
glyphic used to pop in and away just by itself, now I
always see it accompanied by a child's rubber."
"A what?"
" A rubber rubbers." Raising my voice as if the
Englishman were deaf instead of dull. " Rubbers
the things you put on to keep from catching cold in
the rain."
96 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Oh galoshes ! Jove, yes ! A child's rubber.
Top hole ! A child's rubber ! " he gurgled.
" I'm serious though. Maybe it's the association
of place or " I was on the verge of giving the whole
show away, but pulled up sudden, and added lamely,
" I haven't had enough amusement, the creature dogs
my waking and sleeping hours. I'm going to take
a holiday and then I shall do a little detective work
later on."
" Hot stuff ! I intend, with your permission, to help
you do that detective work. I can't believe Angelica
would be associated with such persons. Still, if
the resemblance was strong enough to impress you
under such circumstances, they might be able to make
some use of it which would er, involve her un-
pleasantly. I have to remind myself frequently that
Lady Deering is, ah almost a public character."
" The old woman at Jacobs's was certainly the
spittin' image of the picture on the front of that pro-
gramme you gave me I remember looking at it
while I was packing and being almost sure at the
time."
" It bears looking into but do make it later. Too
bally warm for duty now, don't you know ? Allow me
to introduce Miss Swanhill so you can ascertain where
the house is. I blundered in there and I'm sure
would never be able to locate it again. Tea to-morrow,
eh, what? You and Miss Erma and Beaty Swan-
hill a party of four we'll motor somewhere.
But ah ' mum's the word,' as your delightful lan-
guage says, mum's the word regarding this situation.
Miss Erma's tongue jolly active hung in the
WTTS AND THE WOMAN 97
middle and wags at both ends. No confidences
eh, what?"
After weary weeks of splendid isolation I snatched
his invitation like a starved pup snapping at a bone.
I was agog with curiosity to meet his friends, too,
and it was not until I commenced contemplating the
female of the species that I realized how little money
I'd spent. What price a woman's hats and gowns?
I didn't own an article but clothes not even a
twinkler. While she showed me vistas steam
yachts, automobiles and a house or two.
" What's wrong with you, Henri ? " says I. " Going
to sleep at the switch?"
Buzz-buggies can't be wished into a garage; so I
had to ride with Howard in the yellow car. But I
beat it to Tiff's early next morning and I sure got
some covert notice for the three gems I was wearing
padlocked on to my neck and arms.
Beaty Swanhill being a broker, and me knowing so
little small talk, we naturally gassed about shares, and
profit and loss, and unearned increment. I admire
men who can wind business like a dark thread on the
shuttle of light conversation, and then carry forward.
The talk made me feel as jolly and comfortable as if I
had still been in the backwoods, and so we were friends
from the start, he coming to meet me about as fast
as his gentle sister hiked away.
Coming didn't do Beaty any harm either. After
a while I began to loosen up on the personal pros-
pect, and when he discovered I was drawing merely
bank interest on over a million, I thought he would
faint. Howard didn't get a look in from that on.
98 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Swanhill held the conversation to its course with a high
hand, offering all sorts of advice on what to buy
railroads and good dividend payers. You see Henri
wasn't strong on security, he was all for the make.
To lie low and then slam our last dollar into some
fool risky enterprise would have been his way, so
the idea of a sound investment such as steel preferred
had been itching me. But Wall Street is a long way
down, and it springs kind of mysterious anyway I
hadn't made up my mind.
Now it appeared if I opened an account with
Silsby, Banks and Swanhill, I'd only have to telephone
once in a while and they'd do the heavy truck work
a regular toy for children.
He shook his head at Cobalts as mostly on the Curb,
and made them seem awfully out of class.
" Can one buy rubber any place ? " I asked, sud-
denly remembering the new phase of my mascot.
" Yes, rubber shares are quoted on the London ex-
change. But I wouldn't advise it, Miss Kendall.
They're speculative very speculative."
Henri pricked up his ears at that. " Suits me
I wish you'd cable for some to-morrow at the mar-
ket." And when I mentioned the amount, he nearly
fell over again, said I was a high flyer and shook his
head dubiously.
And I had vainly fancied I would be able to direct
Henri's financial operations.
Well, what's the good of having a hunch if you
don't play it ? The winged snake had always brought
us luck.
CHAPTER IX
In spite of Miss Swanhill's I-don't-care-to-associate-
with-you attitude I went about with them quite a lot,
Beaty arranging parties of four, including me, and
after Griggs left, some gilded male of his down-
town acquaintance so very desirable as to overcome
milady's aversion.
With matrimonial opportunity he bribed her to let
the light of her aristocratic countenance shine upon
his protegee, and I must say he played her fair, keep-
ing the quarry right under her guns, and covering me
all the time himself as if I had been an escaped crim-
inal. I could have killed him for it whiles, as I'd
have welcomed a change, and several of the fellows
he brought along knew real business and were far too
interesting to waste on an evening's patter. Then,
remembering how lonesome I had been before he be-
gan to hang round, I called myself down sharp for
ingratitude, and took amusement out in watching both
their antics when some coveted plutocrat got a notion
to change loads himself.
Although young and prettish, there was something
unlikeable about Erma she was too cold-blooded
for humanity, and her nags showed signs of restless-
ness rather frequently. Once the prize stallion of
the ring kicked clean over his traces; slipped his arm
through mine in a masterful way after dinner, and
walked me off, leaving the others to follow.
99
IOO
That was the night we attended the motor boat
show, and we had a bully good time too, barring one
incident.
Jim Gower wasn't any fancy stock, but he might
have tinkled fifty million in his pockets had the notion
struck him, and every debutante, let alone the three-
year-olds and over, was breathless in pursuit. But,
the Lord love us! He was the nimblest and coyest
beast I ever clapped eyes on! I only met him once
and he played the limits of discretion from eight to
twelve-thirty A. M. If I had been husband hunting,
or if it hadn't been a public place, he'd have got en-
gaged sure and walked away from it next after-
noon, just as he walked away from Erma.
I learned later that to make an enveloping rush,
get what was coming to him and flee, was the multi-
million grubber's chief relaxation. And it's certainly
rare fun so long as neither side takes any preferred
stock in the flotation.
Meandering up and down the pathways in that show,
and losing the Swanhills around convenient corners
gave my man a fine free chance to cut his swath.
We were getting along like blood brothers. By-and-
by we came opposite a new model speedboat, that
was all dolled up with solid gold trimmings, and set
out there gloriously on a platform above the heads
of the spectators, her red sides flaming like Chinese
lacquer some gaudy toy! Of course she had a big
crowd around for every poor piker that passed wanted
to stand with open mouth, trying to realize she had
more gold visible to the naked eye than he'd earn in a
life-time.
The youth in charge, recognizing Gower, climbed
WITS AND THE WOMAN 101
down very respectfully and asked him if he wouldn't
care to step inside and see the beauty at close range.
So up we went, and being on the platform we got to
be part of the show. Grower was a show anyway with
his double chins, and his prominent fish-eyes like a
boy's ' shooters ' bulging through the flesh, and harsh,
close cropped, ink black hair standing out all over
reminding me of my favorite shoe brush.
He offered to buy the boat for me just as she stood,
and I verily believe the great mush would have done
it. But land's sakes, it would have cost a girl her
reputation to run the thing, even if she held a certifi-
cate guaranteeing that she paid for it with the sweat
of her own brow. However, the suggestion gave me
an idea.
I scouted 'round pretty considerable during the next
few days and in the end laid down my money for a
black queen. Spades she was -the highest in the
deck, and I soon got to priding myself on her slim
beauty and her record breaking notches, more than
the maker did. Everybody that had anything to do
with the Swallow went crazy over her; the chap I
got to run her had been working for the firm, and
only came over into private service, he said, because
he couldn't bear to leave the boat. And I swallowed
the fiction till my gentleman began to show signs of
interest in another quarter.
Tom was a nice boy, working his way through
college, and as smart as they're made, and I didn't
turn him down because of his veiled ambition, al-
though we sometimes put in a bad half hour when he
overstepped the mark, as on a certain occasion when
we were out alone, just playing, ourselves making
102 WITS AND THE WOMAN
her show her heels to the wind. We were running
smooth as ball bearings, cutting the water sharp, but
simply dreaming along, till suddenly I saw the nose
of a white boat creep up on my left.
" Full steam ! " I yelled, bracing myself for the
race. I thought it was one of the yacht club fleet.
The stranger pulled even and I took a flying look
at her. She might have been about our own build,
appearing larger owing to the light hull, but she was
showering the salt spray like a bird of Paradise too
much resistance.
We struck into our speed by then and she slipped
to the rear before I had time to glimpse her captain,
nevertheless I heard him call :
" Bet you forty to one ! "
" Nothing doing ! Never bet on a sure thing ! "
The owner of the Swallow yelled derisively. " Pile
it into her, Tom ! "
He gave her all the juice there was, and we leapt
forward.
With clear water ahead the pilots could afford to
watch each other and enjoy the sport. I glanced over
my shoulder. The white craft reared, honest she did !
Stood up on her rudder, and with a cloudy pother of
foam under her ribs made after us. But we held our
distance.
"What's your name?" hollered her master. "I'll
double the odds ! "
I shook my head, grinning. We flew at a devil of
a pace now and I had no time for words. He was
not a man easily discouraged.
" Lunch with me if I win," he cried. I fancied I
must have met him and forgotten, and was about to nod
WITS AND THE WOMAN 103
acceptance, when I saw his bow a bare inch behind
mine even ahead. Gee ! Losing that race was
worse than losing my character. I couldn't believe
my eyes, and didn't cinch the reason till his stern was
overlapping us. Then I saw the Swallowed dropped
her speed. Any Christian who thinks my temper
wasn't at boiling point has got another guess coming !
The white boat sailed away from pursuit, her boss
sitting erect and cupping one hand to cry aspersions
across the lengthening space of foam-flecked water:
"Quitter!"
Outlined against the Recket's blue of August mid-
day he seemed about thirty years old. His blue
jersey bathing suit showed off good muscular propor-
tions. Though he was a bit on the heavy side for
an athlete he might easily have classed under train-
ing. Above a flat forehead a thick crop of brown
hair rose straight on end, giving him a very wide-
awake expression. He looked as fresh as he acted,
and that's quite some. In soup and fish he might
have been anybody or nobody I was too mad to
take stock in him.
" You lost that race! You did it on purpose! " I
flung the words savagely at Tom.
" The fellow's an impudent puppy," growled my
engineer. " ' Lunch with me ! ' Gosh ! What does
he think we are anyway ? "
" Why, I know him ! I knew his face perfectly well.
You don't understand. He was asking the name of
the boat. I must have bowed to him some place and
forgotten."
" He was not asking the name of the boat. He was
damned fresh! He could have run us bow and bow,
104 WITS AND THE WOMAN
docked a minute behind and made good on the intro-
duction. I know the breed. A financial upstart with
an eye like a hawk's for money, and perfectly unscrup-
ulous methods of advancing his own interests."
" Shut up ! " I snapped. " You're not running this
boat, and you have no call to run me."
The way we sulked home was a sample of our nasty
natures, but I couldn't bring myself to sack Tom, he
was a real person in his way and always ready to fetch
and carry on shore.
I might have had a swell time that summer playing
with the Swanhills and their crowd, if Henri de Grasse
hadn't everlastingly been butting in. He hated to see
me lolling about enjoying candy instead of cigars, and
flirting. He was dead scared I'd marry, for men
make themselves heroes to a dollar princess, so to di-
vert me he grew more keen on showing up the murder.
Every week he'd haul me back to town and begin
negotiations for detective work now on one line
and now on another. We found the mansion with
the sliding panels and rented the house next door.
When the keys were handed over and the agent finally
left us, Henri rushed at the business feverishly. We
put in a morning calculating how much of our wall lay
against the wall of Jacobs's wing smoking room ; and
just about where we would strike into the latter if an
opening were cut through.
Sakes ! It was hot that August in New York ! De
Grasse had to back out himself once or twice and beat
it for a cool corner. We received lots of bids to Deal
Beach and such places, and doubtless the necessity of
returning to town, of coming and going and flitting
about was the best medicine for my social standing.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 105
Nobody knew that during my absences I was swelter-
ing over Henri's murder in close Manhattan. Racing
back and forth lent me the appearance of a very popu-
lar young lady I was IT.
Clarissa gave up buying diamonds, Henri didn't
think much of jewelry, and bought rubber instead.
Beaty Swanhill kept on warning me, but every time I
saw the winged snake with that doll galosh floating
alongside, I just naturally had to go and order some
more of the stock. After a while it began to soar and
Beaty's eye beamed an appreciative, critical glance as
we discussed business. He thought I was the foxy
grandma, all right! And was dying to know my
mentor.
By this time the lists of my personal property showed
a limousine, open car, victrola, golf sticks, polo cos-
tumes, wrist watches and innumerable junk. All that
the swells flaunted I could match, and more. Thanks
to Cobalt I could out-ride them, and out-dress them.
I had natural advantages over the ruck in looks, and
was perfectly Scot free. Moreover and above I
boasted brains. Henri led me the long way round
from lots of pitfalls; and I gave him certain pointers
on tactics. We sure had the men going down by the
sea, but the women nix on the swell women !
They get my goat! There's more breadth in the
thickness of a man's little finger nail, than in the whole
avoirdupois of those social leaders. They never ac-
cept you for what you are, though some of them will
come across for what you have, and any of them for
what your grandfather had if he had enough! It
was the women put me on to getting old Aunt Eliza-
beth's ear-rings back, and having them fixed up with
io6 WITS AND THE WOMAN
diamonds instead of the original bits of colored glass.
I simply yearned to reveal my ancestors under a spot-
light, as it were; and therefore all that followed from
the ear-rings is up to that female bunch. But it
doesn't belong here, and if I ever get the facts mis-
placed Lord ! I'll be in a regular mess.
I could write an entire book on the history of my
summer, and it would be rapid history too, with the
old ladies snubbing, and the young ones jealous, and
all makes of available bachelors jostling to shove in
line for a grab at my money bags, or at least to beg
a ride in the Swallow. Such stuff has been written
and published before this and purchased and de-
voured. The human bug is interesting enough in his
more complex motives, if one hasn't heaps of pulse-
stirring adventure to recite things happening bang !
biff! bang! like a bunch of firecrackers going off.
I mean to tell the adventures and let each reader figure
out for himself how everybody looked, and what they
wore at the circus, and who thought this about that one,
and so on and so forth.
Truth is I almost stopped thinking myself during
the height of the season. Hurly-burly wasn't any
name for life! Proposals popped like champagne
corks, and, take it from me, in our crowd that indi-
cates frequency. Mostly it was the little make or
break one-cylinder engines missed fire; boys who had
run in, God knows how, for a week-end with the big
speed, and who would never have another chance.
But I didn't fall for sentiment, not even from Beaty
Swanhill and Beaty was reckoned quite a bit of a
catch socially.
CHAPTER X
About the time autumn turned too cold for motor-
boating, Griggs cabled his arrival. He had gone over
for grouse; had never missed the twelfth at Helling-
ham in his life, and seemed to think that date awfully
important. Do you get it crossing the great big
ocean to shoot birdies! Dates must run in families
like twins and strawberry leaves. Well, Howard took
his fill of the sport and started back, and I was tickled
by the news because we'd cooked it up to go in on this
detective business together, and Henri was champing
his bit.
Of course I didn't live in that small house we had
rented, lying in the bosom of Jacobs's L. We were in
no position to court attention or comment, and while
one can be pretty sure of New Yorkers not knowing
or caring anything about their poorer neighbors,
naturally a smuggling bunch would have their eyes
peeled in all directions, so we came and went from that
place unostentatiously by night.
Excitement is no word for Griggs's frame of mind
when I let him in on the scheme. And when we actu-
ally began to work with picks and hammers in a bare,
darkly shuttered room, its only light turned and
shaded to throw a spot on the conspirators, our red
corpuscles scampered like mice in the wainscot.
" Here's mud ! " I cried, twisting my skewer out
107
io8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
and scattering a shower of plaster; and then had to
stop and explain the idiom.
We started gaily, thinking those first steps, digging
a hole through our wall and then on through theirs,
would be nothing at all, but, say, when it comes to
manual labor that kind of thing takes quite some time.
The farther we got the quieter we had to go. Hour
after hour we scraped and pried, softly loosening a
brick at a venture, and then another and so on, being
'specially cautious towards the end that sounds might
not penetrate. We weren't exactly sure of our sur-
face, and while not expecting secret springs and deep
set cupboards in an outer ramification, you never can
tell what these robber barons will contrive our game
was to move slowly lest a whizzing and a buzzing and
dodging doors, if not police alarms, should throw our
actions open to a most unsympathetic world. We
wanted to steer clear of cupboards and all other ob-
stacles, for theft had no part or lot in the scheme
at least not a drug theft. Like wise men of old we
sought knowledge, and our object was to come up
with the back of the neighbor's carved woodwork. I
calculated pieces might be carefully cut away there
to afford eye holes, and a listening chink, though
hearing anything from such a position would be no
cinch.
Griggs was a scream all through that delayed the
work too. It was a " bally funny " occupation for
one so nifty. I laughed to see him going into the
dirty job with as great gusto as a truant mixing mud
pies. Gloves preserved his manicure, but a white
shirt, and silk hose and patent pumps aren't a first
class brickpicker's costume; they got the worst of the
WITS AND THE WOMAN 109
bout and then, of course, it was too late to do any
good. He was a sight, a mess of lime, his round face
extraordinarily red, and perspiration streaming from
every pore.
Between laughing and looking I guess I left him to
do most of the manual odd how soon work grows
monotonous ; a year of Sundays seemed to pass be-
fore we struck it soft, and Howard muffled my tri-
umphant squeal in his glove.
" Jove, you mustn't wake the blighters ! Come out
of the cave and talk. How do I look? "
He commenced dusting at himself here and there,
dabbing at shoulders and knees like a birdie preening
its plumes.
" You look fierce," I chirped. " But we're on the
boards sure enough. Take a lung- full and then we'll
go to it and see what we can see."
I switched on our electric torch, but it failed to re-
veal any clue to the relative position of our neighbor's
mouldings. No little ridges or seams, such as I had
hoped for, no cracks, just beautiful planed light boards,
showing the traces of what had been Jacobs's wall,
and now lay in a neat pile behind us.
" We're treed ! I might have known that fine stuff
would be backed flat. What are we going to do
now?"
" A bird and a bottle wouldn't be amiss, eh
what?"
" Splendid ! But gee ! There's a splash on the
dashboard. I mean we'll have to clean up."
" Right oh ! I very often have to conjecture what
you do mean, Miss Clarissa, owing to your command
of the great American language."
no WITS AND THE WOMAN
I laughed. " Then let's descend to simple prose.
' Use Sapolio.' But what's the good of quoting to a
man who's not familiar with the national classics?
That's from a series of bully street-car ads. They
created quite an intellectual stir nobody's been able
to decide yet whether Shakespeare or Bacon wrote
'em."
" Ah I'm afraid I never ride in trams."
" You miss one of the freest gifts of life Ameri-
can art instinct is focused on the pictorial advertise-
ment. We can't call a taxi here, so let's walk out to
Madison Avenue and take a car down to the hotel.
Mixing with the proletariat will help us to think, any-
way."
We tidied each other up as much as possible and
didn't look unlike the rest of the world, as we boarded
a green one and dropped our nickels at the door.
" Behold ! Your education is about to begin."
While he adjusted his monocle, I ran the line of ads
over, and my eye fastened on a demonstration of a
new-fangled suction cleaner for mouldings, carvings,
etc.
" Golly! " cried I, almost pinching Griggs. (Think
of being that intimate with a real swell! It goes to
show what a leveler honest labor is.) "Do you see
the painted houri up there manipulating a Gadfly on a
Louis quince chair from A. & S's. Farther on
near the middle. She solves our problem or at least
she carries us half way."
" Bally poor drawing," was his first comment.
" Listen! I'm going to operate one like him in our
neighbor's smoking room."
" How do you know Jacobs has one? "
WITS AND THE WOMAN in
" Don't know hope he hasn't. I'm going to sell
him one, and then I'm going to demonstrate person-
ally conducted tour for a flabby financier. I'm going
to act as an agent of that firm."
Howard stared at me open mouthed. " But you
aren't an agent, eh what ? "
" I'm off to apply for the job to-morrow morning.
Watch me!"
" Do you think they ah, they'll take you on? "
" Take me on ! " I laughed, thinking privately of the
trepidation with which I had approached Bain & Ding-
ley. "If they don't we'll buy the firm. I never was
so set on anything in all my life as on that suction
cleaner."
After all I didn't have to buy the blooming com-
pany out. Gadflies sold on commission. I entered
my name, paid a guarantee for the sample and sallied
forth. It was then too late for business, so I hustled
around and looked up a suitable costume, and next
morning I lay for the man of the house and nailed
him coming out.
Clarissa isn't bad looking, and she had spent money
to dress the part ; also she has a way, when she wants,
of getting her hooks into people. Jacobs fell for me
and made an appointment to have the thing demon-
strated at his office.
I knew there wouldn't be enough carving in any
office in New York city to give my pet what I con-
sidered a fair trial, but gently does it, a step at a time.
I turned up on the minute, wearing a sweet timid smile,
and an earnest innocent air selling a cleaner was
so very important to the poor little girl, she would al-
most have done anything to sell her first machine.
ii2 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Easy as shooting fish in a barrel. Jacobs fell for
me harder than ever. He crashed. And when I'd
played around with him a little, I asked straight out
if there wasn't any carved furniture, or any place in
his house where I could really show him the wonders
of the Gadfly, and prove its value. Of course his mind
jumped at once to the ornate seclusion of that Chinese
room. My words had suggested, as nearly as I dared,
just such a spot. He hummed and hawed a bit, finally
appointing me to go and clean the smoking room in his
home next morning. I was to be sure to turn up at
nine o'clock, before he left for the office, so that he
could show me the place himself.
" Yes, sir," I answered meekly, for as a mere agent
I wasn't guessing how elaborate those decorations
were. And then I tripped away along his double
avenue of clerks, and flew into the nearest telephone
booth to bellow my success at Griggs.
Lordy! What a chance! All day alone there and
working right over the spring! Success! The
scheme had prospered beyond our wildest expectation.
I marvelled at the man running a risk of discovery, or
a risk of damage to the delicate mechanism. But I
had to learn about Jacobs from him.
Next day he escorted me directly into the L room,
and, take it from me, I was mightily relieved. The
old lady with the tipsy figure 8 had looked the cater-
er's people well over, and some of these madames have
memories like a boss Free Mason. She might have
placed me even in my piquant disguise, and she would
certainly have spotted the price of those simple and
vastly becoming clothes maybe have subtracted
them from Jacobs's income I thanked my lucky stars
WITS AND THE WOMAN 113
that his family were the happy kind that lie blissfully
unconscious of crimes on their own doorstep until
eleven thirty A. M.
I hadn't gone into the details with Griggs, but natur-
ally I expected a joy ride. You can't be a working
girl alone in New York without cutting your eye teeth,
and my new employer was quite too prompt and too
personal to be single-eyed about the little business
deal. But I hadn't been looking for his burst of
speed Samuel was no flivver when it came to senti-
ment so I nearly suffered a smack from that fat
old Jew before I got the speedometer tamed. I come
close to kicking myself every time I think of him.
" Over here," he commanded. " I want to show
you something."
I crossed the floor slowly, alive to the stupendous
fact that we were standing facing his secret, tingling
with excitement and revulsion from the presence and
nearness of it and him. Only Jacobs, the boss, stood
now between me and my object.
As a matter of course he slipped an arm around the
little agent and drew her against his great bulk. I
twisted from under his fat elbow and sprang behind
a chair the very chair in which Griggs had knelt
when he found me sobbing. I was near, tantalizingly
near to Mecca but there was that old woman-eater
rising strong as Gibraltar in the foreground.
He laughed and lunged for me, and I sidestepped
again, but after a very short spell of puss-in-the-
corner he got mad. Winded I guess, too stout to play
the game gracefully, and spoiled by getting everything
just when he wanted it. The Salamander act ig-
noring him and piquing, and tempting him on
H4 WITS AND THE WOMAN
wouldn't have worked with Samuel Jacobs, big pow-
erful brute. If the butler hadn't come knocking at
the door, calling out that some person wanted him par-
ticularly on the telephone, I'd have been mauled sure.
Bah! How I loathed mankind then! But I couldn't
split into an open quarrel with the game so close un-
der my hand.
As soon as the host left, I flew to the case where my
trusty Gadfly lay, and got it out directly, so that I was
hard at work, earnest and innocent and distant against
his return. Clarissa was counting on all morning to
explore those walls, and she got it with the icing
off the cake though, pretty clean.
Matters downtown must have been pressing. Ja-
cobs left the door open when he came back, and he
only buzzed in for a minute.
" Got to go appointment sorry want to
show you this." Manner and voice indicated business
only. With relief I watched him cross to the wall
THE WALL and raise his hand. My eyes glued
themselves on the spot. Then a horrible thought over-
whelmed me : suppose he made me a prisoner shoved
me into the secret chamber and let the old woman
pick my bones. I'm no coward, if I do say it, but my
knees shook. His fingers rested on the very corner
I had banged. But he was talking again, and I had to
wrench my wits to attention.
" There are special panels here," he said. " Built
in when I bought the house. If you come on them
while cleaning, don't call anybody don't be sur-
prised. You see they spring out so, and you can shut
them with a push."
Before my astonished gaze he lightly opened the
WITS AND THE WOMAN 115
door of the first cupboard I had glimpsed, and another
beside it. Both closets were absolutely empty!
" Mum's the word, girlie. Do you get me? "
While I yet stood petrified, staring up at the wall,
he turned, and placing one finger under my tilted chin,
advanced his thick lips. That's where I nearly got
off. In a flash hate and chagrin boiled over ; I jerked
away fiercely angry, showing bared teeth and my hon-
est opinion of the old scoundrel.
"No?" the master hazarded in utmost surprise.
" Still haughty. Well, I must be quick. Make a
good job of it." And on that he turned and hurried
out.
But I wasn't free to walk out. No, sir, I had to
stay there and clean the damned room all morning
and not a blooming thing to find not a paper to
peek at!
After my frantic, soul-sweeping disappointment
had subsided to a moderate gale of feeling, I was
forced to admire the wise old guy taking an outsider
into confidence, rather than risk discovery by his
household servants. Between gusts I commenced to
wonder what the emptiness signified. Had he gone
out of the smuggling business?
All the time I kept my fingers busy, for I had a job
to do, so that philandering my way into the heart of a
deserted citadel could not be counted waste effort. I
had armed myself with many sharp, headless steel
pins, and pacing off the location of our dug-out be-
hind, I proceeded to drive these clean through the
carving, thereby outlining several small w y ells of the
ornament in such a way that they could be cut from the
back and surreptitiously removed. I calculated the
u6 WITS AND THE WOMAN
center-light in the room would bank darkness against
the walls at night and cover our fraud; and I was
pleased to note how easily the steel ran into the soft
wood; evidently the boarding on our side was only a
thin layer and not difficult to cut away.
At noon the Gadfly girl quit for lunch, and you bet
she didn't turn up again, either in Jacobs's house or at
the head office. Instead, I called for Griggsy and he
arranged a condolence party.
If we only could have had parties without women
swell women never failed to introduce the discord-
ant note. One of the doves we met that afternoon
wore an .ancient and very ugly bracelet which her forty-
second grandmother once removed had come by, no
doubt quite properly, when she took the washing home
to the Duke; and she began putting on side over the
Mayflower flotilla. Makes me sick! If social Amer-
ica knew more history, it would burn less incense be-
fore the Pilgrim Fathers, who were nothing more
than earnest working people. We're all bound to have
had ancestors, sure thing, an unbroken line on both
sides of the family but if they weren't ripsnorters,
what's the sense of blowing about them?
This creature with her high-falutin' talk made me
mad and clinched the idea of Aunt Elizabeth's ear-rings.
I determined to get them out of pawn, have some bona
fide flashers put in, like she had done, and be wearing
jewels on the settings of which, at least, my grand-
mother had cast a spell.
Henri and I are thrifty folk, we'd kept the tail of
our eye on the pawn ticket and knew it was just about
due, so first convenient moment I hustled round to
Second Avenue and interviewed my uncle. I was
WITS AND THE WOMAN 117
so swathed in luxury now it went against the grain
to visit slums, and this was the real lowdown shop
where I had stored my superfluous garments while
trying to make up the Cobalt fare. The dingy shop
being full I had to wait my turn. I hate dinge and
unwashed humanity, and I hate waiting. I stood by
with a pencil and my card, for Henri's utmost efforts
failed to make me accurate at figures in my head and
I'd been calculating the interest. Impatience made
me restless. I began to jab the pencil point into little
holes on the counter thinking how I had driven those
pins through Samuel Jacobs's woodwork. I noticed
the boss observed me and I was suddenly overcome
by a shop-girl feeling real embarrassment at hav-
ing marked his counter. This set my nerves fidgeting
more than ever, but I transferred my high art stunt to
the card, and drew a fine full-tailed portrait of Henri's
snake. I had grown quite familiar with the sign now,
and often amused myself seeing how few strokes I
could make him in.
Of course I realized the old reptile must mean a
great deal to several people, but hunting for a needle
in a haystack wasn't my line. I'd never tried to work
him off, and when the head man came to wait on me,
I handed over the ticket without a thought.
He gave me one swift, keen, understanding glance,
that set my pulses tingling; then proceeded quietly to
the back of the shop, opened a drawer here and there,
got my things together, apparently all in the regular
course of business, but, when those odds and ends were
shoved across, he whispered without moving his lips:
" Broadway Subway, Union Square, up town."
I eyed him straight before putting the lot into an
ii8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ample handbag. Not a fractional expression crossed
his face; as I walked out of the shop he was already
attending to another customer.
I dashed around the corner to where I had left my
car and dove into its cushioned privacy in the wildest
state of excitement. What luck! What a coinci-
dence! Blind chance had led me into a dive of the
gang and I had happened just happened to shove
the pass-sign right under his nose. That old winged
snake had got them going fine! What I was to meet
at Union Square, or when I was to meet it remained
a mystery, but I swore to be there if I had to take my
bed and sleep on the platform.
Sheer luck swung on vanity with a hot clue lying at
my hand for twelve long months, was the way it all
looked at first, and my eyes fairly goggled with won-
der over what might be lying around the next corner
of Fate. If I had spurned the Mayfiozvcr if I had
hardened my soul against the antique. . . . How thin
a thread!
"Jumpin' Jimminy! At this rate I'll hesitate
whether to order ice cream or roly-poly pudding for
desert ! " I cried.
But before the car reached Union Square I had
quieted down and saw the thing in true perspective.
Coincidence nothing! There was no luck about it.
Henri, of course, had guided me to that shop when
first he prompted the pawning of my extra junk.
And in due time he had rescued those ear-rings, work-
ing on my vanity de Grasse knew women. I had
considered the drawing of the snake an idle whim, but
I was learning daily there could be little mental idle-
ness with Henri at the helm. Now what was he up
WITS AND THE WOMAN 119
to? Why should he turn crafty and not take me into
confidence ? Circumstances pointed to some culminat-
ing plot. It behooved me to use my own wits too. I
recounted link by link the long light chain wherewith
he had lassoed me to the time and place. Good
Heavens! If Henri was going to practise subtlety I
would be lost.
Now coldly observant and controlled I dismissed the
motor and committed myself to their enterprise. I
had paced the platform perhaps five minutes, eyeing
the people, thinking if a bunch of Jews wanted to be
inconspicuous, they had sure chosen the right place in
that melting pot of Coney Island crowds, when I spied
my man. He dropped his nickel, glanced to right and
left and came directly toward me. He looked and
acted ordinary, touching his hat, smiling, saying in
quite a well-bred, pleasant way :
" You are on the wrong platform, shall we cross? "
To anybody looking on it meant just nothing, but
in that almost deserted, white-tiled underground pas-
sage he gave me my verbal instructions. Whether they
were framed for some one not quite in the know, or
my ignorance caused the blanks I could not telir" I
kept my mouth shut, believe me, for fear of making
mistakes, and I listened hard.
" To-morrow morning you will take the early train
for Babylon, on the south shore of Long Island. At
the railroad station at Babylon enter a car having on
its side a streamer marked ' Millbrook ' blue and
white. The driver will take you to a dock where a
man and a boat will be found waiting. He will ac-
company you in the boat. It is their business to land
you on a sand bar some forty minutes' run from the
120 WITS AND THE WOMAN
dock. Then their business ends. You will speak to
no one, notice nothing, but walk at once to a square
gray house standing at the end of a row of houses, a
little apart, isolated on the dunes, overlooking the
sea."
Gosh! Here was dyed-in-the-wool, real old-fash-
ioned melodrama. Until that minute I'd have
said the world had outgrown such doings. There
was financial romance and plenty to be had if you made
it on the plan of the Lelland mine scoop but
melodrama surely only happened to newspaper men
and then had to be colored up for publication.
He stopped abruptly at the house on the sea, and I
didn't dare to ask for more probably I was expected
to know the next step.
" I'm going back down town," he said. " You had
better take a surface car up." Then he hesitated. " I
mistrusted the chief's judgment when I saw you," he
hurried on. " But you are most discreet most
not a single question."
I handed him my best smile without a word, and
he stood, hat off, watching me mount the exit stairs
with a look of admiration that had nothing to do with
business.
To-morrow! To-morrow for the great adventure!
Everything was fixed up for me O. K. I had only to
proceed according to programme and take in the
scenery a la Cook. It never occurred to Clarissa not
to go. Griggs enjoyed the supreme triumph of turn-
ing on the red lights, tuning up the danger motif and
all that. For, of course, I sent at once to my con-
federate. He was set against the affair from the start,
and suggested all sorts of horrors, including sand-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 121
ticks and Chinamen. The last pretty nearly made a
freeze out, for there's more love lost between a French-
man and a Prussian than there is between me and the
Celestials.
Seeing " frightfulness " effective, my pal lingered
on the thought trying to persuade me. But talking
ideas over always makes them familiar, and familiarity
breeds contempt, even with fear. Courage righted it-
self. Soon my imagination began to run on what was
likely to happen in that gray house, standing apart,
looking out to the sea. I couldn't grow familiar with
this idea because of being left guessing.
I stood on the threshold of the house and mystery
to-morrow I would have the chance to solve it.
Henri and the woman in me proved too strong for
Griggs.
" Nothing doing, Howard ! " I cried finally. " Can
it. I'm booked for Babylon on the early train you
may come along if you like. But I'll tell you some-
thing. I feel so chockful of excitement and curiosity,
I'm liable to bust out and be ready for the madhouse
between this and that, if I don't get busy and take my
mind off their blooming riddle. What's the matter
with going up to Jacobs's corner this afternoon and
putting in a bit of work. My fingers itch for the knife,
and my eyes burn to witness. Let's risk being seen
for once. If we work all afternoon, I dare say we can
look in on them to-night, and to-night's the night
at least it may very well be. We know the gang are
on the war-path ; it's the snake gang Jacobs's gang ;
and it's more than probable we'll see something worth
our while.
CHAPTER XI
" Did you ever feel such a low-down cuss in your
life? " I asked, as we climbed the high stoop of Number
17-
"Rather hollow about the spine, isn't it?"
"Hollow! I feel as if the whole universe was a
vacuum crystal globe, with me and my criminal inten-
tions in the center, and every Jew alive gazing in to
read his fortune."
" I feel like a bride and groom," he replied, blushing
poppy red.
" So long as you feel like the bride too, it lets me
out," I laughed. " But you're on. This is a sort of
public confession of complicity. If society could only
peep inside at us, how surprised it would be. You
look positively domestic."
We had provided ourselves with huge, blue checked
kitchen aprons; and our room by this time resembled
an armory or a section of the patent office, bristling
with knives and chisels of every size and shape. For
we were poor enough workmen to quarrel with our
tools, and eager to further a tedious job by employ-
ing scimitars and two-edged swords.
The space opened through the bricks had narrowed
considerably from our original margins, and so, when
we began hacking at the boards, we were obliged to
stand very close together.
" Do you know what we are doing? " asked How-
122
WITS AND THE WOMAN 123
ard. " In plain English, we hope to spy if possi-
ble to listen. Romance has its degrading side, eh
what?"
"This is detective work!" I answered indignantly.
" We are being very deliberate about it and have gone
to a lot of expense and trouble. I guess that squares
things on our side. Listening is only despicable when
you flop behind a curtain and then tell how many times,
he kissed her. Savvy?"
"If anybody was listening now, old thing ?"
" There isn't anybody," I said, chiselling away
earnestly.
A pause followed. I glanced up, saw his pink face
approaching, caught the intention in his eye, and
thwarted it.
" Howard Griggs, I forbid you. I've never been
kissed, and I'm not going to be till I'm married."
I thought the last word would frighten an English-
man, and it did.
" Women have no modesty no reticence," he
murmured.
" He who hesitates is lost," I murmured back as one
disinterested, and then a painful silence hung about us
for a year.
" Clarissa," he ventured at last, " I don't believe you
will ever be married. You are so like a man in cer-
tain ways business and money affairs so inde-
pendent. I don't believe you would stand for a man
around."
His words, nearly expressing one of my secret anxie-
ties, caused me to fly at him in amazed indignation.
" I'd like you to understand that Henri de Grasse is
nothing to me but wits not one atom. He hasn't
124 WITS AND THE WOMAN
got a say-so when it comes to other matters not
not mental. I'd just like to see him butting in on a
wedding."
And then I hung on to the wall for support because
I realized I had given the whole show away.
Griggs stared. " I don't know who Henri thing-
umbob is if it's the chap running your boat, you
needn't get so jolly warm about him," he said sulkily,
and striking another note, " Can't you understand it's
just minds which are so hard to adjust when two per-
sons get tied up together? Look at me and my
niece. If it wasn't for these bally silly notions An-
gelica takes lecturing in America and all that I
could settle down and live at Hellingham the year
round or at least I might settle down settle down
He floundered, and I left him to it for his words had
set me thinking hard. How much of Clarissa Ken-
dall had gone over to Henri's control, and how much
of her could I count on as myself? From the first
I had been entirely willing to join forces, to depend
on de Grasse. He financed me and amused me, but
I wasn't sure I had bargained for him to absorb me.
This question of sentiment raised a new issue. When
a girl gives the impression of not being able to stand
a man around, it's one sure thing the real men won't
stand her around unless for her money or her youth
and puppets! That class ain't good enough for
Granny's girl. If I wanted a man I wanted a
MAN ; and if I wanted a husband and family now was
the time to snatch them but did I want them ? Was
I content to chase adventure with Griggs and buy roses
from Lilly Love?
WITS AND THE WOMAN 125
Stalled! Brought up short. And almost thrown
into the ditch!
It was perfectly true. We had been ordering flow-
ers twice a day from the beautiful blonde at the corner.
And before he discovered her my hands were manicured
at the same table every morning for a month; and
before that it was a waitress. Lord deliver us!
Where was Henri leading me?
" Clarissa," said I to myself solemnly. " You'll
cut a fine figure flirting with the chickens in your mid-
dle age. You've driven Henri on the snaffle much too
long. I begin to suspicion de Grasse is some dark
horse but maybe it's only his nature. Anyway,
whatever is his nature is apt to be your second nature,
so mind and keep it second. Take warning and get
busy."
By five o'clock we finished thinning the boards that
backed our neighbor's decoration; and commenced
whittling out the pieces I had marked. Although
seemingly so simple it was desperately difficult for us,
and occupied every faculty. If any person had chosen
to sit in the smoking room next door just at that hour,
we must surely have been discovered, for a whole
orchestra of gnawing rats could hardly have got away
with the sound of our scraping. I doped out the thick-
ness of the boards by pulling one of the steel pins
through and measuring it to the rest, and when we had
cleaned the wood down to a thin shell, we fixed this
pin in the center of our little island, and very carefully
cut the remaining quarter inch.
" Your fingers are smaller," said Griggs, wiping
his brow. And it was up to me to lift the plug from
our first peep-hole.
126 WITS AND THE WOMAN
The immediate sensation was like a blow in the face,
until we remembered a back room would naturally at
this hour be shrouded in darkness, and that not seeing
is no proof of not being able to see. I put my finger
through and felt the surface of the ornament, and
reassured of an entirely clear opening, we whaled in
on a general destruction scheme. For it was better to
cut separate eyeholes than to attempt sharing one.
At seven we sneaked out for a sandwich and re-
turned, still hungry, to lie in wait. Both had forgot-
ten the tiff of the afternoon. Thieves have got to be
good pals or quit cold. I can't imagine anything need-
ing stricter harmony than grovelling shoulder to shoul-
der on a crackman's job, eating together in side streets,
creeping in through unlighted hallways, and holding
hands in the dark as we did from sheer excitement,
and partly to still the beating of our hearts when we
saw what we saw.
The door opened suddenly, a brilliant oblong showed
beyond the curtains; two figures entered and Jacobs
strode across and switched on the lamp, casting a pool
of light in the center of the room and clothing the
wings with darkness. The other man had once joshed
his host about a pretty waitress. I whispered the fact
to Griggs.
They sat a long time talking and drinking ; sometimes
they argued, but we failed to catch a word though we
applied our ears to the slots. My companion showed
signs of boredom, but Henri was simply boiling with
excitement.
The butler appeared, spieled his piece, and disap-
peared. And a moment later there was ushered into
the room with due pomp and ceremony, an erect, hand-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 127
some, stately, elderly woman Lady Angelica Deer-
ing as sure as there are pearly gates above !
I clutched Howard in a silent spasm and he shook
me off as if I'd bitten him.
" Jove ! " I heard him murmur. " Jove ! "
His relative sat down quietly and joined in the con-
versation. Jacobs seemed set on making her do some-
thing, and the other chap on her not doing it at least
on not making her do it against her will. The argu-
ment between them waxed fast and furious, but the
lady never budged. We could see her saying the same
words over and over again. Not a sentence did we
hear till the little fellow grabbed Samuel by the sleeve,
and dragged him over towards us, urging his point in
private.
They stood right under the paneling, and we clapped
our ears on to listen madly intrigued.
"Put the whole thing off," the man said. "We
haven't any one to take her place. We daren't risk
it."
" Too late now arrangements are all made."
I could imagine Jacobs shaking his bull head, and
the veins on his neck swelling.
" She won't go till Wednesday I doubt if she goes
then. She funks it."
" I'll funk her! " he growled. " Send the youngster
down to-morrow. The police are getting wise to us,
and we want to make good this haul."
("It's the same gang my gang!" I whispered,
dry mouthed, to Griggs. But he was far beyond
speech. )
" You're wrong, Jacobs. Better lie low, keep the
kid out of it, and let the old lady get her nerve back.
128 WITS AND THE WOMAN
She's the smartest woman we've ever worked with,
and she deserves some consideration. Murder's mur-
der a nasty job. It wouldn't pay her to get the
hounds on her trail right now. I doubt if her family
even could do much."
Jacobs bit the end off a cigar. We heard his teeth
grind, and he snarled:
" Nerves! Didn't I hide her here! How long does
she want to recover from a bit of a jar? Mind you,
if she shot de Grasse, it don't pay us to work with her
any longer. Murder will out, and we aren't so par-
ticular to have the dogs barking up our trees neither.
I can't throw her down; but this is a darned good
chance to quit.
"Bah!" he added after a moment's pause. "I
don't believe it. Any woman who would funk the
beach job hasn't got pluck enough for shooting. Bet-
ter send her on a lecture tour."
Silence followed.
I felt so bad for Griggs I daren't look at him, but
just draped myself around that peep-hole and kept on
spying till the three of them went away. Then I had
to face about.
The boy was pacing the floor with arms folded and
his round countenance ashy.
" I've got to know more of this," was all he said.
As a relation the shoes pinched, and being guardian
hung her medals around his own neck. It was hor-
rid. Thinking of him in the dock witnessing against
his very flesh and blood gave me the creeps exactly
as if we'd been handling real bones instead of unearth-
ing a family skeleton. And right there and then I
offered to let the whole business slide. But the Eng-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 129
lish aren't snifflers. He wanted to know, and he meant
to know. Jacobs had worse than a barking dog to
deal with when Howard turned serious over a question
of their honor.
CHAPTER XII
Following a gray evening the morning broke glori-
ously golden ; I knew all about it from the start, being
awake early, that is, not having slept. And true to the
adage, when we, the travellers, reached port, rain was
descending on our heads in a steady methodical fash-
ion, looking good for a week's pour.
Griggs had come down on the same train, but not
with me, fearing possible espionage. He hated like
poison to let a girl walk into the trap alone, but they
expected a young woman, and beggars can't be choos-
ers much less detectives. It was catch as catch can
for us.
Talk about cold feet! I never experienced such a
sinking as when I stepped on to that bleak platform,
and in one swift glance saw my only ally get out two
cars ahead, and walk off without so much as a twist of
his neck. We had arranged he would dodge into the
station, hire anything in sight, and follow the auto-
mobile marked " Millbrook " ; but I didn't think of all
this carefully devised counter-plot, as I stood alone,
crushed by that uncompromising sky. Jimminy Crick-
ets! No! The sinking feeling dominated every
thought.
I was wet, cheerless, in a blue funk, and felt a per-
fect ninny of helplessness, not having an umbrella, and
very much like indulging in a regular cry, a dangerous
mood lasting while we drove through the town streets,
130
WITS AND THE WOMAN 131
mostly obscured by rain, miles along a winding road,
and out to the sea. From the instant of placing my
foot in the car I was lost. A sunless heaven makes
direction guesswork; and I soon gave up counting the
turns and corners. But of one thing I was firmly con-
vinced : we could not have embarked at Babylon unless
the driver acted with intention to blind me, which, as
he took me for one of the gang, seemed futile.
A silly refrain from an English song kept humming
through my head :
" How many miles to Babylon
Shall we get there and back again ? "
The grim suggestion in the last line annoyed me less
than the lack of rhyme. I thought of the Terrier and
his poetry. Memory flashed to other and wilder out-
ings; strange larks in Cobalt, reckless rides, the dark
interior of mines. And that night when Pepper Pot
and I had fled to the Victoria. My spirits began to
rise. After all it wasn't Clarissa Kendall of the Ritz
Hotel, lapped in luxury and chilled by the inclemency
of weather, who was on this job; but the winner of the
Lelland Mine, undertaking another desperate gamble.
Here's to us, Henri !
Soon I shed my last tremors in the bustle of being
conveyed from our automobile, and in observing dock,
boatman and the lay of the land with mind alert for
clues. Nowhere on all the flat landscape stretching
behind did I glimpse Griggs or his car. He was play-
ing it safe; but I had faith he would hang on their
tracks like a British bulldog.
With a purr of engines the two strangers and I
132 WITS AND THE WOMAN
forged forth into that silent void, where gray heaven
and gray sea lapped one upon the other, meaningless,
offering no guidance. The rain continued falling,
heavier and more uncomfortable than mist, yet lacking
the dignity of a smashing storm just miserable wet
rain. I sat for an hour in the back of the open boat,
wrapped in oilskins, my feet in a puddle, the water
sloshing about. We made slow progress steering
through the bank of cloud, with never a perspective to
lead from buoy to buoy, and the devil of a weedy
bottom fingering us.
Gradually the ghost of a lighthouse loomed out of
trailing moisture, and then a row of blots a pencil
of darkness on the horizon the bar itself. Blobs of
color took form as cottages, and finally a wharf showed
its gray streak against brown grasses. We were
there. They pointed out the roof of the house on the
dunes and my heart beat like a trip-hammer what
would happen?
My guides, philosophers and friends, promptly set-
tled themselves on a packing case under a shed roof
spanning the lower end of the dock, and sought liquid
comfort from a good-sized bottle. Their orders were
to wait and they gave me the up and down wondering
why I hung around.
For once in her life Clarissa yearned to be a Bay-
man, to smoke a dirty pipe and linger swopping yarns
with another human being and then she turned to
face the lions.
Board walks, built level over the rolling ground
drifted with sand, or wind swept above the tops of
stark bushes, stretched slippery and uninviting in both
directions. My way led to the shore and eastward.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 133
Slowly I footed it past the backs of a row of summer
homes, standing now with all eyes blinded, and their
hospitable souls turned inward. At the end of the row
civilization made one valiant effort with a few loose
planks and stopped abruptly. I must choose either to
scramble through deep soft sand, overgrown by scrub,
or climb the dunes to the beach. And I chose the
dunes. How splendid and desolate they looked lying
seaward, a lumpy line of unfriendly, tousel-haired
giants crouching asleep. Coarse fringes of grass along
their spines moved in a breath of wind. Did you ever
see a beast twitch its skin while dreaming? Those
hummocks looked so alive I dreaded to wake them.
Shivering weakness flowed through me I wanted to
run. I did turn, but the moment was too cowardly
even for flight. What if the men in the boat spotted
my funk and refused to take me off?
Between the devil and the deep blue sea I chose the
sea; and as soon as I placed my heel on the neck of
the first monster, and caught the air and the sound of
open water, I could have gone to the under world
without battin' an eye. Only I was hungry and very
wet.
There stood the gray house, farther back from the
shore than the others, and almost hidden among the
dunes. Though the front door and windows boarded
up put it in the same class as the closed cottages, I found
a little puff of smoke rising from the chimney and cut
across to the back. The roll and crash of a dead-swell
surf obliterated minor sounds, but I thought as I
knocked that a snatch of song, drunken and ribald,
floated by.
I knocked again and again, each time more loudly,
WITS AND THE WOMAN
and at last drummed with both fists. The ground fell
away toward the rear of the house. I was standing
on a high veranda which must in season have been a
kind of summer kitchen. Rags of faded mosquito net-
ting hung on rusty nails ; dirty cloths littered the floor ;
the whole place looked rotten. I had knocked my
knuckles sore and was at my wits' end for the next
move, when a grating and shuffling below made me
double over the banister, peering underneath the open
steps.
A rough sailor-like head was thrust cautiously out of
what might be called the cellar door, opening hard on
the sand.
Crusty but kind, I doped him.
The old fellow laid his fingers on his lips as though
warning me, and beckoned. I slipped quietly down
and around. We stood inside a dark foundation built
out of rough planks nailed on posts, and lighted only
through their gaping edges where diagonal pieces had
broken away. Old clothes were rammed into crev-
asses in the floor, but they did not prevent the sand
from drifting and piling itself through the gaps. A
row-boat, bottom side up, with ropes, buckets and a
confusion of sea gear filled one-half, the rest being
given over to cases of booze.
" Not hard to tell which side you're on," I said, nod-
ding toward the fishing nets, and I knew at once the
old man was pleased with even so little attention.
" You're the lass as is to come for the package? " he
asked, eyeing me keenly.
And I, scared of giving my ignorance away, mum-
bled some assent.
" Then I'd not anither time. This is no place for
WITS AND THE WOMAN 135
the bonny likes of you," he remarked calmly, preparing
to lead the way upstairs.
Gripes! If I couldn't bluff that old top, how was I
going to fare with the rest of the bunch !
We mounted directly to the kitchen where the heat
of a wood stove, a strong smell of stale fish, and sing-
ing mingled with the clink of glass made my senses
reel. Something very very must be afoot. I trem-
bled with apprehension.
" Come thy ways in," said the sailor, indicating a
chair. " That is 'gin you're no afraid," he added, a
gleam of humour livening his watery blue eyes, as a
burst of filthy language interrupted the song.
" They're uncu' rough. It was na so when the
muckle woman came hersel'. She held them a' in
hand."
Excitement coursed in my veins for the last ques-
tion of being on Jacobs's track vanished in his refer-
ence. Who could the " muckle woman " be but An-
gelica Deering, or the woman who was impersonating
her ? Poor Griggsy !
I would have pushed right in, but he motioned me
aside.
" Bide ye here, lass. He's cursing for his drink."
And twining his gnarled fingers about the necks of ten
or a dozen bottles, the old chap walked off, through an
adjoining room into the main den.
I followed hot- foot, keen to see without being seen ;
and, hiding behind a flimsy cretonne drape, took a slant
at the enemy's position.
Gee ! The heart of that home was in worse disorder
than its extremities some show ! The furniture,
any old cast-off thing, set the scene cheaply, and the
136 WITS AND THE WOMAN
actors seemed to me more punk than their surround-
ings. A <lirty table, spattered and littered, occupied
the middle; and beyond it, with glass raised as though
proposing a toast, wavering slightly on his feet, stood
the horse-faced man the very man I had seen a year
before closeted with Jacobs in his elegant apartment
counting powders. Another fellow had flung himself
on the couch, partly on top of a woman's coat and a
feathered hat, and in this discomfort lay snoring. The
owner of the tawdry plumes, dead to their destruction,
slumped sidewise on a wooden seat, paying no heed to
either of her companions. She was plump, badly over
dressed and a Gentile. Quantities of untidy red
hair set off a puffy white skin, while the unhealthy leer
of fast living bespoke her station.
Caruso emptied his glass and attempted to toss it
behind him, but the throw miscarried. The common
heavy tumbler flying from his uncertain hand like a
shot out of a gun hit the woman. It fell unharmed
and rolled along the floor. No one troubled to pick it
up. The hussy understood this as a playfully inten-
tional stroke and glared at her tormentor; then rous-
ing she pulled her dress above her fat white knee, and
embracing her leg, twisted to inspect the damage.
The man laughed. She spat back at him. It shaped
awfully like a row.
I quit, crept noiselessly out to the kitchen, and was
pretending to warm myself when the sailor returned.
Sounds of the gathering quarrel stormed upon us.
" Ay, they're savage," he commented. " It's the
baggage. The master's that way wi' his women."
And suddenly he burst out against them, shaking his
clenched fist.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 137
" It's easy laffin' but ye'll laff t'ither side o' ye ugly
faces one day. Ye muckle liar, ye stammering stirk,
ye owd addle egg! 'Twill nob'but serve ye right, I'm
thinking. I've tholed mair fra him, lass, than I ever
thoct to thole from any man."
I knew from the whimper in the last words that he
had been drinking too.
A gust of oaths, a female voice crying, fear and ma-
lignity in its tone, warned me to let them be. So I
waited for the hymn of hate sung as duetto.
The pleasant family muttered itself quiet at last, and
my custodian gave me the next cue.
" The package lies on the dresser, it's a' ready, but
ye'll ha' to be gaein' for it yersel'. They'd no ha' me
touch the danged writin'."
" What's it all about ? " I asked casually, thinking in
his present mood he might split on them. But I had
underestimated the old fox. A shrewd, suspicious
glance met mine. Our eyes measured each other, and
his fell sulkily.
" I'm sworn to say nowt," he replied.
And I understood whatever the pressure of his serv-
ice, or his grudge against the " Master," of Jacobs's
business he knew less than nothing. All at once I de-
cided on action. I walked quickly into the anteroom
and threw the curtains wide, seeking with such positive
action to ground and steady my nerves, for their gentle
entertainment had got my goat.
Red-head had joined the other hog in drunken slum-
ber. The horse-faced man sat alone in a shuttered
twilight playing patience. He pushed back as I en-
tered.
" Ah so it's a pretty devil ! "
138 WITS AND THE WOMAN
The blood flamed into my face at his insolence, and
speech came like a whistle of icy air through clenched
teeth.
" Have you the paper ready ? You've been a long
time rowing here and my men are waiting."
How I summoned the grit to be high-handed with
him beats me, but I had struck the right note. His
face clouded, his dignity dropped to the level of a kid
disgraced and chided.
" How d'ya mean rowin'? "
" Give me the papers," I said evenly.
He looked up and smiled, blinking his eyes slowly as
though seeking a clearer brain and clearer vision.
" You almost put it over, Dew-Drop. I thought for
a minute it was the old woman. Come here ! " reach-
ing his hand across. And as I did not move, adding
pettishly, " Don't stand staring at me. Come in or
get out ! "
Although my host spoke glib English his accent
smacked of the Fatherland, and the recent exhibition
of his gallantry to our gentle sex didn't excite any wild
longing to be bombarded with his style of bouquets.
A few whirling beer bottles liven the scene, no doubt,
but I prefer quiet. From the minute he first spoke I
had only one idea to make a safe getaway with or
without the package. I stuck to the errand simply be-
cause I judged taking the swag with me would be the
surest and shortest cut to safety. Remember, if not
walking in darkness I was at least talking in the dark.
Facts shrouded themselves from me in a terrible men-
tal fog, through which light filtered sparingly as he
talked. I knew he had almost come to terms at men-
tion of the old dame, and calculated maybe a hint of
WITS AND THE WOMAN 139
the power behind the throne would bring him into
line. At best I threw it out as a feeler.
" Jacobs " I began, and stopped appalled.
Black fury sprang in him. His open palm whacked
on the table, scattering his game pell-mell.
" Damn Jacobs ! Nothing but Jacobs ! I'd like to
know who's boss of this gang? Who'd send a peach-
faced gosling butting in here but a fool like Jacobs?
I suppose you'll get up on your high horse, eh, and
tell me you're his girl. Hands off, eh? So it's
hands off all round. Jacobs went against our advice
in sending you down. Go back and tell him so, and
see what a glad hand he gives you. Ha, ha ! I know
the weaknesses of Samuel Jacobs. Nobody's going to
double-cross me. You don't get any papers not this
trip, my Honey Dew ! "
I was in about as bad as I could be and without a
notion of the way out. Something told me that to take
him at his word and try to break away would bring
destruction rattling about my ears. I prayed then.
There are moments when frail humanity has no other
resource. I prayed to the spirit likeliest to send direct
and immediate help. In those electric seconds I fell
back hard on Henri, and felt him rise to the occasion
overpoweringly. He dominated me. Ours was no
longer a case of two minds animating one body, but
of one mind Henri's mind. He obsessed me all
right. He took complete possession. If there is such
a thing as " manifestation " a spook assuming the
form and features of the dead I believe at that mo-
ment de Grasse came as near to doing it as the spiritual
law allows. Whether he worked some temporary illu-
sive change in me, or just wrapped me in an envelope
140 WITS AND THE WOMAN
of ghostly tissues evoked from astral space, I shall
never know, there not having been a mirror handy.
But I should worry the effect proved potent on a
drink-disordered mind. To the man opposite I must
have assumed literally the face and voice of Henri,
otherwise how account for the happenings of the next
ten minutes ? My own mind still retained a conscious
hold, enough to note the conversation ; but the smile on
my face was de Grasse's smile and the words issuing
from my lips were not even English as I slid into a
seat facing my angry host and, folding my arms,
leaned confidently toward him.
" Felix, you've got a bee in your 'bonnet about old
Jacobs and if you two quarrel it's going to cost us
much money."
The stranger ran a hand over his brow, gazing at me
stony-eyed.
" Henri ! " Gott in Himmel ! Oh, fudge ! The
jade must have doped my drink! But you called me
Felix."
" Have it your own way, and get down to brass
tacks. The police are on partly. The local police
I mean are on to this side game the smuggling busi-
ness. So Jacobs is rushing to make this last haul good.
When we've cashed in on this lot, we'll rest while the
smoke evaporates but from what I know we haven't
a day to waste."
" Yes. And how long does the stuff lie in Jacobs's
place before he hands over? Where are we when the
time comes? Difficult to get a look in, eh and he'll
make it more difficult. He'll make sure of the swag
and then let our own particular bull-dog loose the
bureau is restless too. He knows we'd be too busy
WITS AND THE WOMAN 141
covering our tracks to make any claims. No, I don't
trust Jacobs."
" He don't let anything loose, I tell you because
he don't know anything. Why, his mind's as innocent
of the big thing as a new born babe's."
" H m. Are you certain? You know what hap-
pens to our service when a leak's spotted the long
arm smites from some unexpected quarter."
" What leak are you talking about ? " Henri fired
this at him quickly, intending to surprise his secret,
but the man called Felix only laughed sneeringly.
" Places, rendezvous the chain. Don't hoodwink
yourself ; it's more than enough if they ever get wise
and dear knows what the old lady may have said, she
was off her chump after de Grasse's murder. Where
am I at? " He ran his hand over his head in a dum-
founded sort of way, gazing at Henri as though he
couldn't believe his eyes. I don't blame him; to be
looking at a person, talking to him, telling him about
his own death would mix the sanest of us.
Henri lighted a cigarette cool as a cucumber and then
picked a soiled pack from the table and began toying
with the cards. " Pal," I said, " either you or I are
wrong about Jacobs I'll play you for the stake."
" Three hands of draw."
" And if I win I take the papers."
He nodded and we sat square. The light being dim.
filtered by the boarding on the front windows I could
almost feel him watching us as I dealt.
The first fell to him, for Henri has a generous skill
in these matters, and the second to us. My friend
Felix insisted on opening a new pack for the last hand ;
and while he was about it brought the papers over and
142 WITS AND THE WOMAN
laid our stake temptingly between us. His moving
around waked the woman. She sat up, rubbed sleep
away from badly bloated eyes, and yawned; and after
she had got the focus stared at me. But she was too
well trained to break in on his game. The room re-
mained in absolute stillness.
" A pair of twos beats ace, king," I said, reaching
for the papers.
And to my amazement he made no demur; only
asked cordially, raising the bottle : " How do you
take it the same ? "
I was shivering from exposure and nerve strain, and
mighty glad to accept, even though the woman rose
and joined us, demanding a nip. He scowled.
" Who were you playing with? " I heard her ask as
I left.
" Henri de Grasse," came the prompt answer.
"Quit your kidding! De Grasse is planted safe
enough I ought to know. Who's the skirt?"
" Skirt," he repeated, dazed. " It was Henri's man-
ner, and Henri's luck and she called me Felix
nobody ever called me Felix nobody cared "
The girl laughed coarsely. " You're drunk, so you
are, can't tell a man from a woman ! " adding in a
terribly amorous voice, " You're drunk Felix."
"Take that," he cried. "And leave! Do you
hear ? Get out I'm through ! "
"Oh, cut the comedy stuff! Who'll cook your
victuals if I clear? "
A sound of blows followed. I made a wild dash
past the old sailor snoring beside the stove, and down
and out and away to an open place of decency and
safety.
CHAPTER XIII
Of course I removed the worst stains and ironed out
the story a bit for Howard I had no call to wallow
and as it was he threatened to go stale on the whole
business. Didn't approve of my being exposed and
all that, and wanted to conduct his family investigation
while leaving the smuggling out. I couldn't see where
he was going to get off, both charges being up to An-
gelica, but one can't rub disgrace in like a soothing oil,
so I muffled the mouth organ and we arrived in New
York without anything being decided.
I had saved the package to open in my own room,
for now I had seen my confreres at home, I wasn't too
sure what ghastly secret it might contain, or how
frightful the nature of the job. Several wrappers, tied
and retied, and an oiled silk I painstakingly removed
before reaching the heart of the matter, and then, be-
hold a letter more directions and a large gold
ring, a signet, with the winged snake cut in reverse.
I looked inside the windings again to see if there was
a child's rubber along. Would you believe it? That
darned twin incubus haunted me so! And then I ex-
amined the ring. It showed no sign of opening or
hidden poison chamber, and for all I could find was an
honest, solid piece of engraved metal; probably their
token and guarantee in the delivery of goods, the linch-
pin of their commerce what commerce? Smug-
143
144
gling, I believed, with murder on the side. We were
getting in neck deep too. What was the prize, why did
Henri want to stick to it, and would anybody believe
I was a self-appointed detective if <he goods were
found on me?
My head hummed with a dozen disquieting fears
as I picked up the letter; but the directions being im-
mediate and imperative drove everything else from
mind. I phoned Howard to come over at once, as he
stood; hustled on a serviceable plain dress, and was
waiting for him downstairs when he breezed along.
" Jove ! Are you going in for it ? " he exclaimed,
after digesting the contents of the closely typed letter.
" Sure. What do you take me for ? A busted
flush?"
" But to Canada. It's a bally long chase this
time. And you aren't given any idea of later develop-
ments."
" They work on a close mouthed system," I laughed.
" Advance a step and ask for light."
" You oughtn't to go, and I don't see how you can
go on a moment's notice."
" Pooh-pooh ! Don't borrow false comfort.
There's no trouble at all. Toronto is almost next
door. Leave at eight and arrive in the morning
only one night. What does it matter where one
sleeps? "
" Hot stuff, the way you Americans run about.
Dashing across the continent and back, plunging into
a long journey without a second thought."
"Who crossed the ocean to shoot birdies?" I re-
minded. But he was unconvinced.
" Clarissa, you ought not really. It's a rum
WITS AND THE WOMAN 145
crowd to be mixed up with for a girl," he added,
flushing and paling as he thought of Angelica.
"Why not consult one of these detective fellows?
Give him all our information, wind him up, keep him
going don't you know pay him to look sharp "
" Rot ! " I cut in, fairly provoked. " That's where
you English miss life. Always paying people to do
things that are fine fun to do yourselves garden-
ing, for instance, and breaking horses. If you think
we're going to loosen up on this adventure now, you
don't know Henri ! "
He gave me a startled, wounded look. " Who in
Christmas is Henri?"
" Nobody," I said, with a hollow sort of laugh,
recollecting how he had crowded me out yesterday.
" Henri is a nickname I have for myself my wild
self. You're only acquainted with part of me, How-
ard." I was cursing my glib tongue.
" But why Henri? " he persisted, so visibly anxious
and upset over this strange, intimate male, I suddenly
determined to tell him the rights of my story.
" Look here," I said rather breathless. " If you'll
promise to treat the question seriously, not to howl, or
jeer, or show that you think me stark mad I'll tell
you a mountain of a secret all about Henri."
"Are you engaged, Clarissa?" he asked, just like
that.
I roared. " Yes, I am engaged, but it has nothing
to do with the story except as a time limit. I'm en-
gaged to start on a fresh adventure about seven o'clock.
I'm off to Toronto to nose out opium, and, if I'm not to
miss the train, let's eat."
" You have no business to go alone."
146 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Why not come along then ? " The idea stag-
gered him into gasping apology.
"I we couldn't do it at home, you know ! "
My courage needing a bracer after the happy little
party in the house on the dunes, I was more than glad
to welcome company, so I pressed him. " Who'll
be the wiser anyway? Tell your valet to keep quiet.
Pretend to have a cold or something and be staying in.
We'll return day after to-morrow or the next day."
"Jolly awkward for you if it came out! "
He was so very, very pink now and so very, very
nice I almost hugged him.
" Lordy ! Who cares ! Nobody's watching me as
close as that. Be a sport. Come along, Griggsy.
Be a sport ! "
" I'll dine with you, if you'll tell me about Henri,"
he said, begging a decision.
The great oval of the Ritz ceiling softly illuminated,
brooded over a vast expanse of waiting emptiness.
Seated by our lone under one protective edge of the
raised gallery, and watching our waiter's back vanish
in long perspective amid tables and chairs, we en-
joyed a sensation akin to the privacy of the Sahara
desert, and yet I hesitated.
Now it had come to the point of speech I felt nerv-
ous and genuinely shy about explaining Henri al-
most as though he did occupy the tender relationship
Griggs obviously anticipated. We sparred a while
with indifferent topics till the soup was served, and
my vis-a-vis dropped into the silence best expressing
his receptive mood. If we were to get through the
tale at all, Clarissa must speak lively. I determined
to treat this thing in an airy manner, but in spite of
WITS AND THE WOMAN 147
my utmost effort seriousness weighted the opening
words.
" You were present when I first encountered Henri
and his other name is de Grasse."
Then in a few sentences I carried Howard back to
the afternoon of the seance, and as clearly as possible
pictured my strange experience. I have never before
or since seen any one so stirred so thrilled. Griggs
not only grasped the situation at once, but enlarged
upon it. He bolted with the bit in his teeth.
" This explains you this explains you ! I have
always wondered "
And such remarks flung from rash heights of gulli-
bility, began to make me a trifle uneasy. Was I such
a freak?
He counted my relations with de Grasse of most
vital importance, and spoke of writing instantly to cer-
tain scientific big-wigs. Wanted to have the condi-
tion published in scientific papers; wanted to have me
interviewed, perhaps experimented on no, of course,
not quite that, but the same thing.
Nix for little Clarissa. I commenced to feel about
as happy as a pup living next door to the Rockefeller
Institute.
" Write what you will," I gave permission. " But
lacking dates, mind, and no names mentioned. I
won't stand for interviewing, or examination, or mi-
croscoping Henri has a prejudice against folks get-
ting too familiar."
I was joshin' to rarefy the atmosphere, but he took
it dead serious.
" Perhaps you and he feel so now, but in time,
Clarissa, I trust you will both realize of what tremen-
148 WITS AND THE WOMAN
dous value this is to Science. A position so unique sets
your price above rubies separates you from your
kind. Your kind, indeed. Where are they to be
found ? You and he no longer belong to the rank and
file. It is stupendous stupendous! I must write
to Sir Herbert I must tell Angelica "
He broke off short.
" Rave on. But don't tell anybody," I admonished.
" It's not your funeral." And we ate in silence for a
time.
At last Griggs raised his head and regarded me with
a determined eye.
" Clarissa, I am going north that is, if you will
permit it."
" Good business ! " I cried, more than delighted.
" I knew you'd see me through, old pal. I knew you
wouldn't drop for old Grundy ! "
"It is not a question of form now," he fal-
tered. " Henri's presence your recent confidence
alters everything. I feel it would not be right to allow
you to proceed alone and unprotected on on this
wild goose chase. What use are a few miserable dol-
lars, more or less, in the pockets of the American gov-
ernment! Jove! Clarissa, you can't imperil the
chances of this research, perhaps the most important re-
search ever conducted, for the sake of catching a bunch
of smugglers red-handed. I know you don't under-
stand yet don't appreciate your own consequence.
But I beg of you to be careful. Until such time as you
awaken to the vital interest in these facts permit me,
my dear girl, to constitute myself a a sort of guar-
dian "
That was too rich altogether!
WITS AND THE WOMAN 149
" Angelica and me ! " I shouted, limp with mirth.
" Wow ! You mayn't know it, Griggsy, but you're
taking on a tandem. One's sprinting after the other
now and Henri's hot under his collar."
He couldn't help laughing, but he meant every word
he had said, all the same.
In the train I had time to explain to Griggs how I
doped out Henri's conversation with the man Felix.
They were evidently co-criminals in a world series of
major and minor crimes; on one hand smuggling with
Jacobs ; on the other, leaders or operators for some big
organization " the bureau " probably a foreign
bureau, else why had they fallen into familiar foreign
talk ? I understood now why Henri had been ashamed
to take me into confidence and had made me a sort
of detective trailing his evil nature.
Griggs proved immensely interested and helpful.
He vowed their principal must be the secret service,
for it indeed reached with an almighty long arm.
The thought both eased and damped his spirits.
If they were secret service agents, then the woman
he was after might really be Angelica even Lady
Deering could be almost honorably involved for her
government.
But the old woman at Jacobs's, I reminded him, had
been up to her neck with them in both games.
Then he fell back on his first argument, that it
couldn't be his niece at all but just some one disguised
to look like her. And I suggested perhaps they had
been putting one over on the lady too. Well, if it
was Angelica, it must be secret service. So we rea-
soned in circles and finally went to bed to hum the
argument over on the rail ends all night long.
CHAPTER XIV
Arriving in Toronto I knew the ropes and took com-
mand, detailing Howard to taxi straight to the King
Edward Hotel and await my return in that mezzanine
palm room from where I had spied Charley Ross.
The address on Yonge Street, given in the thief's
schedule, turned out to be a prosperous little retail
jewelry shop, chiefly consisting of one large window
and one small door, with a long counter of show cases
running up its interior like a nicely jointed spine. I
. walked in at exactly the hour appointed, city hall time,
and spoke to the only human on deck, a man bending
over a high account desk 'way up back. He climbed
down from his perch and bustled forward as though to
greet a customer. But when I handed over the ring,
at once my identification and plausible errand had any
one else happened to be in the shop, he said :
" Ah, it is not ze old lady zis time. Welcome mine
goota freund," and leaned his arms on the counter
smiling unctuously.
" You haf been very busy lately, eh? "
I noticed that his lips did not move, and fascinated
by this prison trick, wondering where and when and
for what crime opportunity had taught it to him, I
lost the sense of the remark and only shrugged.
Fortunately he took the reticence as reproof, mur-
muring: "We are here quite safe. Bof ze boys are
out to zair lunch. But Fraulein is wise we might
150
WITS AND THE WOMAN 151
be observed from ze .windows. I will ze package im-
mediately bring."
Another package! It wouldn't have taken Jack
Johnson to knock me over with a feather. I antici-
pated starting for China or the North Pole.
The German returned carrying a box about twelve
inches long, by five wide, and four deep, neatly done
up in paper. A jeweler's parcel which any lady might
have escorted from his store without occasioning re-
mark. But he had removed it from a huge safe a
safe proportionately fifty times the size of his regular
trade. Doubtless safes are a hobby with some men
just as razors are to others.
Old Stutz, for so read the legend over his door,
handed the box to me with a considerable flourish,
saying, " Ze letter is inside." I must have taken it
casually, for a spasm convulsed his florid face, and he
whispered, " Fraulein understands the value? "
" Oh, perfectly," I hastened to reply, and as a
woman entered the shop, added quickly, " When can I
call for my ring? "
How I blessed the native Torontorian in her flat-
heeled shoes and rainy-day hat, as I made good my
escape. But I couldn't help wondering if she was a
bona fide customer, or a detective, or another agent of
his foreign policy. One would have fancied, from my
cool manner, that I received opium in packages, mas-
querading as the family spoons, every day; but my
feet trod on thin air all the same, and I had walked
several blocks in the wrong direction before I collected
my scattered wits, and remembered to board a down-
town car.
Talk about feeling biggity ! I chortled all the way
152 WITS AND THE WOMAN
back over my prowess as a Sherlock Holmes. Report
said the police had been sniffing on these tracks for
dear knows how long, and hadn't even started a hare
and here I was with the brush. Wasn't I going
to show them? With this evidence, and the gang's
several rendezvous and dives to name, mine would be
a perfectly splendid beat. But maybe it would be
more fun to give it to the newspapers instead of the
police. Tom could make a nice pot of money out of
the scoop, if he handled it properly. I decided to give
it to Tom.
Griggs's first exclamation on meeting rather dashed
my roseate plans. " Why, how small it is ! They
can't make any profit on that amount ! "
" But opium's awfully valuable," I insisted.
" Yes in ship loads. Haven't you ever read
'The Wrecker'?"
" Well, maybe there is more to come. Maybe the
rest is cached. The directions are inside."
"What! Again! This is growing monotonous,
don't you know. Jolly stupid pastime, Clarissa, why
not throw it up ? "
" We may have to go round the world," I laughed.
" Jews have no physical courage. Working over the
counter is safe and inconspicuous but they do fol-
low rather close to form. Suppose you order a bracer
while I open the box."
The envelope lay on top. Griggs seized it, and
peeped under the lid. One glance was enough to re-
assure me. There lay the identical mate of Jacobs's
black leather cases, looking and bulking so much like
the ones in his secret closet.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 153
" We're on ! " I crowed. " Let the police locate the
cache good enough job for them, eh? This sample
of the dope will serve our turn."
I looked up to meet Griggs's eyes, large and round
and troubled.
" Jove ! It's bally intricate ! Riding around in the
middle of the night, with strange men in utterly strange
places and alone that is without me without
any one you can depend on. I don't sanction your go-
ing, Clarissa," he said, handing over the sheet.
I read and frowned. " No mention of a cache, none
whatever. I don't see where all the anxiety lies.
Don't see what this leads to ; don't get why they are so
scared and cautious. You or I can sneak this little
shrimp of a package through on any train without a
qualm. And if the price is no more than you say, one
could afford to pay the duty."
" We haven't seen the inside yet. We are jolly
ignorant of what it contains. Shall we "
" Oh, no ! Not here ! We'd better not look here.
Let's go eat and think the matter over."
" Top hole," he replied.
Griggs in his London clothes looked, to the Canadian
eye, like easy money, so we were steered over to an
excellent table commanding the room from the angle
of the great windows. And who should I spy, almost
before we were seated, but the Terrier and Bully Bill.
I couldn't wait for them to change gears discarding
the menu for the middle distance and so pick up my
lady-like nod. No, sir-ee. I whirled right across and
shook their arms nearly out of joint; and we made a
date for coffee upstairs after lunch. Terry apparently
154 WITS AND THE WOMAN
bore me no malice. I dare say he had fallen for a
dozen disappointments since the Lelland that is, if
he was keeping up to concert pitch.
Being lit with the joy of reunion and a touch of
regret, for compared to my last summer, life at Doc's
seemed cosy as an old hen's wing, I started to give
Howard a personal sketch of the boys; and while I
talked the big idea came alive.
" Howard," I said, looking very serious. " You
are going to turn smuggler all by your lonesome, tak-
ing this package down to-night ; and me and the mine-
gang will follow directions and see where it leads. If
we don't find opium, we'll at least reap knowledge in
large quantities but for me, I'll bet on there being
a cache somewhere around."
To my amazement he refused absolutely, point-blank.
" I cannot allow you to go on this escapade. It's
sheer madness. I feel I have a solemn duty to man-
kind. Don't make it hard for me, Clarissa. As you
are at present you and Henri your loss would
be appalling, too terrible to estimate. Think of the
scientific world. Why, Jove! You might never be
discovered again."
I roared, remembering Cobalt, that large free place
of deeds. The tang of its wild mood, all do and dare-
devil, keyed me to adventure, making his sob of a sci-
entific surrender less than useless.
" You'll have to catch this butterfly, Griggsy, before
you impale her on a hat pin. Maybe I'm a specimen,
but I'm human. We don't deny our worth as a frolic,
but we very much question the candles. Of what
value is science to us except as a wing-clipper? If
you loved me, if you had only begged me to forego
WITS AND THE WOMAN 155
the risk for love for friendship for the sake of
somebody. For something warm and personal and
instant but for Science ha, ha!"
He blushed scarlet. " Clarissa, I do I do ! You
know I care about your safety for yourself! Ah, you
take a man up so ! "
" For Science Science first. Oh, Howard, what
a drop!"
My friend leaned his elbows on the table after that
bad American habit, and began talking fast. His face
quite submerged itself in color. He looked as if he
had glammed his courage with both hands and was
holding it rampant.
" You know I love you, Clarissa, you know I do.
I've been determined to marry you ever since ever
since you refused to you remember. But I'm all
balled up about Angelica. I can't ask you till the name
of Griggs is cleared. And now you've told me this
about Henri. Why, marrying might upset it, don't
you see! I wouldn't be Jove, the whole thing's so
dashed complicated ! "
" Science " I gasped, striving to control my voice,
hardly taking him seriously. But a shaft of honest
woe, a glance of appeal in his eye shut me up.
" Look here," I said. " Forget it ! Leave every-
thing as it is till we settle the opium business. I see the
boys have quit; we'll go and have a pow-wow with
them and start something. I promise you I won't
step an inch unless they say we can pull it off."
Being unacquainted with the Terrier and Bully,
Griggs rested on that pledge, but after five minutes of
wild huzzas for of course they were crazy to go
he tumbled to my fraud; and still laboring under a
156 WITS AND THE WOMAN
mistaken sense of his own responsibility commenced
to throw bombs. He fussed and fumed and mur-
mured and objected, saying all he dared before
strangers, trying to arouse Henri and me to a fitting
sense of our value; and having no luck there endeav-
oured to fit himself into various odd corners of our
arrangements, cavilling at this and that till he got to
be a regular nuisance.
Isn't a man with a purpose in life the limit! Spe-
cially when that purpose settles on an object, and
you're IT; and there are two free souls standing by,
laughing up their sleeves, and wondering where the
professor got aboard?
At last quite dazed, and seeing himself completely
lost amid the threatened hurly-burly of trains, auto-
mobiles, boats and guns, let alone the Canadian wilder-
ness, Griggs consented to follow my original plan, and
return to New York with the goods on him.
Argument had wasted valuable time ; Terry hustled
us out. " You'll have to look alive and keep moving,
Clarissa, if we're to catch the western express.
Good-by, Mr. Griggs. Good luck."
Hastily I handed over the package, and Howard,
reading my disappointment, swore not to open it till
I was present. " You shall be in at the death, old
thing. Cross my heart."
CHAPTER XV
We nearly missed the train as it was, on account
of me having to buy a red rose. Directions were to
sport a red rose as identification, and of course there
wasn't a red rose to be got in the hotel all sold, they
declared. And I hadn't the ghost of an idea where a
florist shop could be found in Toronto. Seeing our
game go up the flue, if first aid didn't come at once, I
called for help. It was a trying moment till Bully re-
membered spotting a red rose among the table decora-
tions. He burst into the dining room, stole the trophy
and bore it off right under the nose of a pompous head-
waiter. Then we ran for it. Of course I had to
have a separate taxi. My tickets had been all ready
with the directions, a chair was reserved, and when
I had captured my breath, I looked around to size up
the passengers.
Holy smoke! Laugh? Folks must have thought
the magazine I held the funniest out. Every seat in
that car was full and nearly every traveller wore a red
rose both men and women. The girls being all
young and well dressed like me, my personality sub-
merged itself in the crowd. I was lost.
The conductor told me it was a wedding party going
up for some swell girl's send off the next day, and as
the bride was daughter to a turf king, they were all
wearing his color for luck. Red ! I saw red. Here
was a pretty how d'ye do.
158 WITS AND THE WOMAN
The long afternoon wore away in utter boredom.
One of the wedding guests tried to get up a conversa-
tion with me on the strength of the badge, but I
snubbed him short I must keep free, and have my
eyes on all sides to pull out of this blooming mix-up.
The boys, of course, were in a separate car blissfully
ignorant.
About a half hour before we were due, the train
stopped at a junction, and a very few minutes later a
short, bandy-legged fellow came through the car.
" Well, I be blowed ! " he said, soto voce, looking
from one passenger to another then something
seemed to come over him I saw him turn green
around the gills and spotted him for my man.
He went away and stayed long enough to go all
through the train, but it looked as if our car had
cornered the rose market, for he presently reap-
peared.
Sitting near the door as I was I could take good
stock of him. His quivering nostrils alone betokened
the state of his nerves. His shrewd gray eyes shifted
constantly hither and thither. Time grew short. I
was sure sure enough to take the risk. Suddenly
I tore my wilted flower off and threw it aside. The
quick action caught his glance and focussed his atten-
tion on me.
" Wouldn't it crimp a snake ! " I exclaimed. I
wanted that last word to get to him.
He walked on as though he were going to pass,
but I could see he was watching. Then I made a bold
move. At my hand was the window glass all steamed
over from the chill evening air. In a second, with a
few strong lines I had drawn a rough picture of Henri's
WITS AND THE WOMAN 159
winged sign. Had he been a detective instead of a
confederate good night, Clarissa!
The man stopped as if I had spoken, and smearing
my sketch from the glass with a rather dirty hand, he
peered through the rubbed spot.
" We are almost there, Madame," he said.
It was true. We were already steaming into a
brightly lighted station there was no time to talk.
" If you are on business, I'd advise you to dine at
the Equadore it's a good hotel," he said, and with-
out more ado walked away.
I didn't like him from the start. He was so cold
blooded. An ugly little shrimp, not too respectful
and after dinner I was due to start on a wild adven-
ture with him. I shivered, and you may be sure I
took long enough getting into a taxi and away, to
make certain of the boys being able to follow me.
I carried a small dressing case which might easily
have contained Stutz's package, but which held in-
stead the nasty black six-shooter that Terry had in-
sisted on my taking along. I noticed my man eyeing
the bag and his look tipped me off not to check it at
the dining room door. Evidently I was supposed to
have that valuable sample along, and to cling to it.
Well, I had no kick coming a Colt is a good, steady
friend.
The Equadore was a medium-busy commercial hotel
where the stranger could and did join me at dinner
without attracting any undue attention. I explained
the matter of the wedding party to him, and he made
no comment. He seemed a stolid soul.
" What happened to the old lady? " he asked pres-
ently, and gave it as his opinion it was poor policy to
160 WITS AND THE WOMAN
change messengers every time. Pretending to be as
taciturn as himself, I told the few words of explana-
tion I knew and he seemed satisfied.
When he had finished eating, he brushed the crumbs
from his clothes, reached for a toothpick, and said the
car would be waiting in front at nine o'clock.
I strolled into the lounge where the boys sat chat-
ting and smoking as though nothing were further
from their minds than adventure. Sitting opposite
trying to read, I got to thinking instead; comparing
the Terrier with his splendid physique, free life, merry
wit and kind heart with the sort of men I had been
meeting in New York. Even Beaty Swanhill, his soul
set on money getting, didn't bulk any too big, and a
fellow like Jim Gower showed up for the rotter he
was. Money isn't everything, Henri, I admonished;
friendship's a whole lot look at Terry and Bill.
Of course Griggs had been pretty true to me. But
I couldn't think of Howard and Terrance together.
They were both gentlemen. Well, I wanted the ac-
cent on the last syllable Howard's goose was
cooked.
These thoughts didn't intrigue me so deep as to for-
get time; prompt on the stroke of the hour my black
bag and I were in the vestibule to find my escort and
his motor just as prompt. Thus I came to be tearing
over a bad road in the middle of the night, with a thin,
small, alert man whom I had known less than a few
hours; rushing from a half baked city in Ontario to
the north shore of Lake Erie, where, according to the
latest bulletin, a boat would be waiting.
Every time the car did a bunk into a road valley, or
rattled out on to the crest of a rut, imagination made
WITS AND THE WOMAN 161
a wallop around the entire loop of Jacobs's activities.
I had quite fully made up my mind what his line was.
I was still keen on a cache, though there had been no
word of it. Griggs had spoken lightly of opium in
ship loads maybe that boat would be ballasted.
We swayed from side to side perilously. We skid-
ded in the sand. Sticks broke beneath our wheels and
stones flew out. But nothing happened to slow our
pace and nothing more piquant than these little events
interrupted the gallop of my thoughts for the driver
paid me no attention. He was bent on getting over
the ground as fast as chain lightning, and that though
quite unconscious of the Terrier and Bully hitting it
up behind, doing their own happy turns on this poetry
of a turnpike; but keeping at a discreet distance until
I found a chance to spike the enemy's guns.
After a million miles or so of flirting with sudden
death we turned sharp to the right, and struck a single
mud track leading through the scrub. Just where-
abouts on the shore that boat lay three of the combined
party had no idea. But I calculated, from the looks
of things, there wouldn't be much complication in the
automobile route. This road promised to lead to the
back of beyond without intersection ; and at worst my
chauffeur could be pressed into usefulness by the ju-
dicious manipulation of a shooting iron.
On and on and on we sped. Thickets of stunted
trees thinned and fell away altogether. We shot over
stony patches between bare uplands. We rolled on by
miles of rock and blueberry bushes, and finally into
heavier soil and taller growth.
All guidance as to the country or locality had to be
guessed from the flying edges of the narrow path, one
1 62 WITS AND THE WOMAN
instant illuminated by our lamps, the next whirled into
oblivion. And on this too hung the decision of time
and place.
Down the wind came a strong smell of water, warning
me to be quick. I fumbled for my hand bag, opened it,
and leaning far out on the side of the car thrust my
automatic toward the wheel and pulled. With a vi-
cious noise that might well have been the bursting of
an overheated tire, and a terrible lurch, almost pitch-
ing us to kingdom come, we settled on to the rim.
My driver slowed down at once, cussing.
I threw the smoking revolver far into the night, and
turned panicky, calling in alarm : " What is it
help!"
"Shut yer noise! Puncture," he replied; and go-
ing around to look at his wheel, " Now what in the
devil did that?"
" Can't you go on ? These are some roads you have
in Canada!" I climbed out and joined him, for it
was up to me to lengthen our delay.
The man seemed to resent that national dig, and
eyed me in a surly sort of way. And wishing to re-
establish confidence I offered to walk. " It's not far
now, is it? "
" Mind your own business. I'll get you there."
The brutal snub set me thinking. This was no coun-
try bumpkin awed by an accomplice from the great
white city. I surely felt we had one of the heads of
the gang to deal with, and began to tremble in my
shoes.
A second later he straightened, stood tense, listen-
ing, and then spoke in abrupt command:
WITS AND THE WOMAN 163
" Somebody's coming. We stay here. Get back
to the car."
The drumming of the boys' automobile could now
be distinctly heard. My man would not give them a
lead to the shore behind his lights, nor did he wish to
open any controversy unless forced. Time was evi-
dently precious. He squatted to his tire; but I could
see him watching from ambush, catlike, ready to
spring.
The Terrier and Bully whizzed past crashing
through underbrush. For a moment we were stark in
their lights; then they slowed just beyond the reach of
ours, and walked back boldly in the center of the road
as if to offer help. God knows it was a lonely enough
place to smash, and to have left any one there in the
lurch wouldn't have been decent. They shouted, and
not getting any answer dipped into the darkness. Mr.
Driver had spotted a trap before it was fairly sprung.
His hand flew to his hip. But the boys were too swift.
They shot like bolts out of the inky blackness behind
his lamps, and kneeling as he was to jack the wheel
the smuggler hadn't a chance. A regular mix up fol-
lowed. They fought in the ditch, smothered by
strong dead grass and decayed leaves. Fearfully I
heard the grunts and groans and the snapping of dried
wood. Then Bully's voice called for a light.
Terry covered their prisoner, while Bully searched
him. In the glow of an electric candle I could see his
glance hunting me, alarmed for what I was supposed
to be carrying, and now mistrustful. With hands
raised, his breath coming hard and cold murder in his
eyes, he was planning. But he looked such a bandy-
164 WITS AND THE WOMAN
legged, hopeless shrimp beside the two giants that mu-
tiny became a bare-faced impertinence. We should
worry !
" I'm not going to damage yon," the Terrier said
quietly. " We have a keen desire to take a ride with
this lady and you'll show the way. Do you get
me?"
He shrugged. " It's all the same to me. . I'm paid
to drive the young woman out here." And with a
short ugly laugh, " Wouldn't like anything to happen
to her."
" Nothing's going to happen to her." I marvelled
at their control.
My friends were a bit careless with him on purpose,
as we walked to their car, and he managed to whisper :
"Chuck it over. I'll make a break for it you
lose, girl. Why in hell weren't you armed ? "
Bully wheeled like a flash and covered me too a
magnificent piece of acting. Whether it would be
useful or not, the man must now believe me one of his
own gang. I wrapped a smile about us in the dark-
ness.
The road curved again sharply and ran from there
a half mile straight to the shore, where it grew sick
of its own rottenness and expired suddenly on the edge
of a picnic clearing. Logs lay about, and boards had
been nailed from stump to stump where the position
of the trees invited benches. On one hand stood a
deserted shanty with an open booth for selling drinks.
And on the other a great cairn of stones surmounted
by a miniature lighthouse, used no doubt during the
summer season. Smooth ground, grass grown, cut
an abrupt line against the water; and below this a clay
WITS AND THE WOMAN 165
bank dropped some twenty feet or more to a stony
beach. We could hear the lap of Erie on her pebbles
as she lay licking her lips, mindful even in a smooth
hour of her evil propensity to storm.
Our lamps revealed the inky surface of the lake,
and a flight of steps leading from the tufted slope to
the little jetty at its feet. Away at the end lay the
promised boat, a dim form half hidden in darkness.
No sooner had our engines stopped than silence closed
over and around us. It muffled nature in a blanket.
The place must have been miles from anywhere.
Bully jumped out directly and ran down on the pier.
The boatmen, expecting us and busy getting her ready,
were taken completely by surprise. His was an easy
victory. We heard faintly the cry, " Hands up ! "
And soon two heads and another one bobbed above
the bank, as our ally marshalled his brace on shore.
He covered the driver and these wops, while Terry
dug some rope out of our tonneau. The boys had
made a show of searching me for arms, and I was al-
lowed to sit there, neglected, an onlooker, rather en-
joying the game.
The police business, thought I, is mighty easy.
Firemen can put it over any risky duty squad for
courage and heroism. Of course we might have made
a spill up yonder if the thug had pulled a second too
soon. But he didn't pull. He didn't get a chance.
Pistols aren't nearly so deadly at close range as a
knife; and it would take a man with a cast-iron skull
not to fall for Bully's fist when smartly applied. Look
at the boobs three to our two and weren't we
putting it over them from every angle of the compass!
Once tied and loaded on to their own craft what a
1 66 WITS AND THE WOMAN
fools' cargo they'd be! Luck ahoy! Happy day Ja-
cobs! Wait till we get loose with your ballast!
Gripes! Right in the middle of my self -congratu-
lation a sinister throbbing merged with the silence. It
tickled my nerves. I opened my lips to speak, and
saw the Terrier drop his rope end. He put a hand to
his ear. The throbbing grew louder. It purred.
All of us could hear the sound distinctly. It hummed.
Six desperate adventurers stood spellbound, while from
back along the road, came that steady high power
droning of another automobile. For a moment in-
stead of enemies we felt together one common instinct
of self-preservation. But circumstances cleft a nice
division between hope and fear the smugglers cal-
culated they couldn't be much worse off. It was our
turn to tremble.
A pistol cracked prematurely. That familiar sound
galvanized the Terrier.
" Beat it back to the other car, girl ! There's going
to be trouble."
Never had his voice rung clearer or more master-
ful. Yet as I stepped out on the far side from our
prisoners, his fingers closed over my wrist like a vice,
and he hissed:
" Drop ! Get under cover in the bushes ! "
On our hands and knees, sheltered from sight by
the bulk of the car, we crawled away into the dark-
ness.
Bully backed toward the wharf still holding the gang
under menace of seven deadly shots. The Terrier
called to him tersely, loudly, in a foreign tongue.
Bully replied. They spoke Cree, and it was pretty
sure to get by even among a mixed crowd. These
WITS AND THE WOMAN 167
two hadn't been knocking around ten years with the
redman for nothing. Having settled their plans,
Bully suddenly disappeared into the night. I think
he continued to hold his party under cover but who
could be sure? they least of all. Anyway they
didn't take liberties with the possibility.
The smugglers stood for suspense till a pair of
headlights glared at them down the straight road, and
then they got cold feet and broke for the boat.
Hardly a minute later a flivver bounced into the
clearing and a throaty voice a voice that made me
jump called them by name. Three forms slowly
emerged from nowhere and gathered in a family pow-
wow.
" We were held up," the chauffeur explained.
" The girl and me. She was plucky but tricky.
Maybe she made a getaway just now. Those tikes
heard you coming an' funked it."
" Himmel ! Nothing to be afraid of she had not,"
the German jeweler replied. " She iss an impostor
a zeif! I haf telegrams from New York zis day
but too late, too late ! " Sobs choked him. I remem-
bered the unctions laugh and smiled.
A long-drawn whistle expressed bandy-leg's sur-
prise. " Thought the dub meant to let her run. So
she was fooling me. Damn ! " Then his opinion
flopped over. " Why should she come here, if she
had robbed us? That wouldn't be likely, Stutz, you
know damned well ! "
" She iss a government spy. Zey fear nottings.
Poys, zey are out after us. Let me get in der poat
quickly und run away. My business ruined my
goot business my peautiful little store! " He wept.
i68 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Zey will be going now to spread ze alarm let me
get away."
" Quit? Not on your tintype! First we shut their
gab see? And then we go after the stuff. Hustle,
boys."
" Boss told her to breeze for the car," mumbled one
of his boatmen.
" Cut them off. They'd be sneaking back in the
dark while Stutz came down. It takes time to fix a
tire, though, and, if they run on the rim, we can easily
shove our nose along. Hell! It's a cinch! We're
five to nothing."
Terry had expected them to do just this; act on
his command to me and go back after us on a wild-
goose chase. Lying low in the scrub, not a stone's
throw from the speaker, he pinched me as his stratagem
carried through.
Excited? Possibly we were just a suspicion above
our usual spirits; but so far I hadn't felt much afraid.
Terry was equal to any of the gang, I knew, and our
third hand also was a confidence supporter with a
fighting record. The idea of Stutz in any shooting
row made it a gallery play. However, the old Herr
didn't see that side of the farce himself, and proved
very reluctant to go back seeking trouble. The cap-
tain, my driver, insisted. It was better, he said, to
take a pot shot at us from behind, than make good their
escape by water and land plump into the government's
arms; for, of course, if we escaped and gave official
notice of their having a boat, every port would be
watched.
With that he took the wheel and old Stutz clambered
in, whimpering about his "peautiful pizness."
WITS AND THE WOMAN 169
We waited for them to get quite away. Not till
all was safely quiet did Terry draw me out of the
bushes and explain the plan he had made with Bill in
their Indian jabber.
" Looks as if the cairn were the best cover here.
Bully is going to swipe their boat. Ah, he has her
now I hear the engine. He will come in for us
farther up shore when things have quieted down, for
we're going to have fun here yet. They are due to
find the automobile ditched and turn right back. We
will go hide behind the cairn. Its shadow will pro-
tect us from their lights, and we can slip away from
that position, easy ! "
Walking over rough ground in pitch-black night,
with insecurity befront and melodrama behind, and a
crisp wind newly sprung across leagues of fresh water
driving through your town clothes like tissue paper
and into your marrow bones, must be charged on the
debit side of Romance. Under the above mentioned
disadvantages it took some fifteen minutes, seemingly
as many years, to reach the hospitable defence of piled
rocks, standing on the highest and least sheltered ridge
of land. Moreover, our wits having been in close
communion with our feet during the pilgrimage, we
missed something. Either preoccupation, or the
change in the wind, numbed our ears. Suddenly,
without warning to us, the road behind broke into a
roar of execrations. Shots rang out. Oaths volleyed.
Cries, confusion, and the whirring, whirring, whirring
of machinery beat our brains.
"What in thunder! Is it the boat? Have they
missed the boat ? Look sharp ! "
We dodged behind the cairn. A velvet void sur-
i;o WITS AND THE WOMAN
rounded it. Only the ugly noise and our second
senses guided us at all. We could hear, thank
heaven! And the Terrier made an attempt to feel.
His hands groped wildly.
" A door, kid ! In you go."
One step forward my shin struck iron. I yelled,
and shivered clutching at the jamb. Then taking my
nerve in both hands bent cautiously to explore.
" It's the first rung of a spiral stair. Shall I
climb?"
" Glory be to goodness ! Yes," he cried. " This
is luck! I can hold out here forever as long as
the cartridges last."
Stealthily, hand over hand, feeling my way before
taking it, I made good up that ladder, the Terrier press-
ing me close behind. My fingers struck wood, presently,
and my head came out above a platform a narrow
affair, nothing more than a shelf bridging half of the
rude dome, and too near the top for comfort. A big
light filled most of the space above this. I crawled
in at one side and Terry on the other. There was
just room enough for us to sit with our legs hanging
over. He struck a match and we examined the in-
terior. It showed only rough stones and rough
boards, a shutter closing the window in front, and
the lamp staring at us with a hollow eye.
The racket outside still kept up, but not for us with
such ear-splitting intensity. Cased behind rock, and
mortar and thick plate glass we began to breathe freely ;
and the Terrier gave way to curiosity concerning our
dumb neighbor.
"I wonder how big she is. What candle power?
Do you suppose there's any oil ? "
WITS AND THE WOMAN 171
He pulled the shutter and found it slid easily.
" This joint can't have been closed long. Say Clar-
issa, I'm going to light up. Give them a shock when
they come back. They'll think we are government,
sure, then though I guess this burial ground is run
by some soft drink, Sunday-school corporation."
All the time he was examining her wick, turning it
up slow and coaxing her to burn, the chimes inland
rang merrily. Bullets flew like hail.
" Bad mess. Coming this way too. Glad we're
out of range."
"What do you make it? Have they quarrelled
among themselves? Are they murdering Stutz?
Are they being chased ? Listen ! "
We could hear nothing at that instant, and their
silence screamed calamity. I sweated, murmuring in
a sort of mouse squeak, "Are they after us?"
" Don't know. Show you in a minute." The Ter-
rier was busy and laconic working over his old lady.
He had her fairly going now; and her light and heat
scared my mortal days from ever taking any interest in
the future. Blinded and baked, yet with chattering
teeth, I stuck on the perch and gave him a hand with
the shutter.
" One two three ! "
We drew it sharply open. All the power of her
great big glorious soul rushed forth, spreading panic
and truth below.
The naughty road, the slovenly park, the naked jetty
and a strip of sullen water cowered under her long
white reach. We crowded to look, and two great blots
the shadows of our heads, fell athwart the ghastly
picture. 'Way down below, the smugglers' little fliv-
172 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ver was dancing a war dance toward the lake, cutting
capers over stones in a blistering heel and toe madness,
while behind, a brute of a touring, car swept along at
breakneck speed, gaining on them with every revolu-
tion. Our enemies hugged the cushions, not daring
to rise and fire, for they ran now in the full glare of
the other's electric lamps.
The rackety-packety chase bent away to the right,
then swerved and drove hard on the shore line, bandy-
legs steering for a point beyond the circle of illumina-
tion, where the murk lay thickest and the going must
be a sad, bad hazard. We thought they were beating
it to get out of sight; to duck behind their own bul-
wark and open the music their one frantic chance.
We waited for them to slow, to chivy round, to dip
for shadow. But nothing doing. The little devil-
driver, with his jaw set and his arms braced, held her
head straight on destruction. She rose and fell like
a galloping horse. She skimmed from ridge to ridge.
"Great God! " cried Terry, as the crazy man's ob-
ject burst upon us. " He's going over ! They'll
both go over ! He's trapped them ! "
Suddenly he thrust his weight against our light an4
she tilted back a fraction, sending a cold ray after the
scudding Ford. It was already on the brink. It
rocked and cavorted friskily, as though an imp had
seized it ; and in the same instant that it hung over the
black vacuum, we saw three forms rise and jump.
'Stutz and the captain went down with their car. She
leaped into open air and somersaulted, her lamps for
one moment revealing the horror, then soused into
eternal night.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 173
Two men made good their escape. One lay prone.
In less than a jiffy the only life left on that silent stage
was the mile-eating plunger booming along racing
and tearing swiftly propelled to damnation. Too
late to stop? Death rose and mocked them. Doom
opened her arms. It was all the same whether they
steered ahead or turned, for no weight of chassis
could hold her down on a swing at such an angle, and
in such a speed, over the rolling turf.
We held our breath. The thing looked alive
looked so brave and beautiful dashing ahead gallantly
joshing Fate. She achieved personality. Her load
became merely springs and wires animating disaster.
We trembled and feared and admired. But at the
last minute her driver lost his nerve. He twisted her.
Instead of making a magnificent end the poor car
reared, toppled, turned turtle and dropped ignomini-
ously, with a terrific splintering crash, to the beach
below.
Cries of pain and cries of fear, yells, threats, oaths
convulsed the darkness there. I shivered and stopped
my ears. But the Terrier remained gazing out, his
bright eyes and white face shining.
" Courage! Did you ever see anything like it? " he
cried. "And vengeance! I take my hat off! Un-
less that fellow was stuck in high he's a rare sport
but a damned good kind to fight shy of all the same.
I'm glad his whim didn't seize him earlier. He must
have been in bad to do it. This is no place for you,
Clarissa. Let's quit. This is no playground. It's
a bloody battle. That last car held the police."
Erie's high banks shut us off from sight of the
174 WITS AND THE WOMAN
wreck, and that was just as well. Hearing was one
too many. But I felt we ought to do something by
way of rescue.
" And get a shot in the back for our pains. No, sir !
The last car is a wreck but the first one went into
the water they may come off alive we know at
least one of the gang is free hereabouts to help them.
We'll leave him the light. It's cut and run, now, while
we can and mighty lucky to get the chance."
Quickly an awed girl and a silent man climbed down
the narrow stair. Once started we had no difficulty
in reaching the water edge, for we just stood together
and slid down in a landslip of soft clay. The shore
lay flat. We footed it for twenty minutes on pebbles
and hard sand, and then ventured a soft coo-e-e. No
answer. The coast changed gradually to flat stones
and large boulders. After an hour's weary scramble
we came suddenly upon Bully holding the smugglers'
boat off the rocks. She was riding in deep water, but
the Terrier's flash showed her much damaged as to
complexion.
" What delayed you ? I had a devil of a time mak-
ing landing single-handed never would have been
able to get in here except for the calm."
" Tell you later. Shove her off. Lots of people
around. Nasty mess."
Her engine chugged. We backed between sharks'
teeth, curved sharply, ducked from side to side. We
missed twenty separate and distinct sizes of sudden
death above water and heaven knows what below.
Bully yelled directions to beat the band, then glided
into splendid peace.
" Boost her ! " ordered Terry.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 175
He moved a handle and we shot straight out. No
lights guarded her. Our wake lay pale to a clouded
moon. Only the stars, once in a while, and the splash-
ing of mounting waves bore us company.
After a while the Terrier and I sitting forward
began to talk of former days, Cobalt, and our friends,
who had made good and who had gone under. Ross,
driving away, had struck it again on the Victoria and
was cleaning up a pile. Doc? Just the same.
Jake? just the same; sitting most all day on the
porch with his wicked spurs dangling. I felt a kind
of sinking that I thought was homesickness for the
wilds and put it into words.
"Hunger," pronounced Terry. "Me too! When
you were in Cobalt you wearied for fashion. And
certainly a life of fashion hasn't been dull if to-night's
jamboree is a sample. Why, you've had more excite-
ment to-night, Clarissa, than most women know in a
lifetime."
" Excitement's very emptying. Where do they put
on the dining car? What's our next move? "
" Starvation," he laughed. " We've got to lie off
till morning, run in where it looks good and foot it to
a village. There's nothing suspicious about this party,
but dirty shoes. Besides, it will take time for the
news to spread. The police are down and out.
Thieves don't tell tales, and we'll keep mum. By way
of precaution Bully might go east while we visit De-
troit. Suppose the authorities did search you, there's
not a thing not even a revolver. Say ! What did
you do with it? "
" I threw it away."
"With five perfectly good shots! Whew! Your
1 76 WITS AND THE WOMAN
place is on Fifth Avenue, all right or in the movies.
That whole road drama might have been omitted,
girl several hundred feet of film. Why bust a tire
and risk your neck in the toss, when you're riding be-
hind a flesh and blood driver and holding a loaded
six?"
" Hold him up ! I'd never have dared."
" Clarissa, you're a wise one. It doesn't do for a
woman to be too cold blooded." He beamed at me.
" Well, there is nothing in the boat ; as far as locat-
ing your imaginary cache goes we'd have come as near
it in our beds. We have nothing on us and the po-
lice can't get anything on us. It was a fine idea send-
ing that box down with the English dude. I'd make
away with the stuff burn it or something and
then keep out. The criminal action looms large
it's safer to be out than in."
" Oh, I intend to," I gasped. " I'm sure Griggs
will holler ' enough ' when he hears about this. He's
fussy, but really a good sort, and has stood by me
through several funny stunts."
With my head on my arm leaning against Terry's
knee, for I was tired after our rampage, I told him
the story of the sniff-bottle, and how I had taken a
French borrow to raise my fare north.
" Decent of Griggs to keep quiet knowing me so lit-
tle, wasn't it? Not many would have been game.''
" Not many." The Terrier gazed down at me, his
eyes glowing, shiny and warming. " You're full oi"
pluck chuck full, aren't you, little pal ? "
Something in his tone, his glance, pierced my soul.
All at once I knew him the only person in the whole
world who would ever appeal sufficiently to both Henri
WITS AND THE WOMAN 177
and me. Little ways, almost feminine intuition, dally-
ing with poetry and such trifles, on one side, and his
recklessness, his dash and sanity and strength, on the
other, bound together by a bon camaraderie which
never failed even in the worst of weather, had thrown
a lasso round our man and woman instincts. The
look on his face now pulled it tight and dragged the
maverick to earth. I wanted to hug him. I longed
to be hugged me, Clarissa Kendall, lady of the icy
mitt! I was so happy I felt like crying and so miser-
able I wanted to laugh ; for of course this hour couldn't
last eternally. I knew the Terrier must be the most
wonderful companion in the Universe stronger,
braver, finer, truer than all others. He was real.
Master in the fight back there, and now so under-
standing. I longed for him to brand me with all the
legal formalities going, and take over Henri's for-
tune.
Goodness knows what might have happened, if hu-
mor hadn't leaped to the rescue. Instantly, clearly as
a living picture, I saw my beloved running away into
the woods on the Lelland rush. He was doubled over,
a canoe rested on his shoulders, and he crabbed it
through the bushes at an eager pace. It seemed to me
he wasn't only hustling to beat Ross and the rest, but
was scared stiff, and happy to be lighting out from the
toils of the original New York scalp-hunter who had
hung upon his track in Cobalt so persistently.
I'll bet love was the only thing the Terrier ever did
run away from! But remembering how he had
shunned me then put the kibosh on sentiment all the
same, and I murmured, just to carry us over that preg-
nant silence:
178 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" It was decent of Griggs."
" Yes. The man's all right."
After a pause, from what looked like a miscarriage
of mental telepathy, Terry added :
" But don't marry him, Clarissa. He isn't your
sort."
" How do you know he's asked me? "
"Oh, he has. Sure thing! They all have I
don't blame them." And with a quizzical smile, " I
guess I'm the only one you've ever known so far who
hasn't."
"And never will, eh what?" I mimicked laugh-
ing, though the cockles of my heart went cold.
A queer spasm of expression crossed his face.
" Might. Can't tell. A man never knows his luck."
Good old scout. His luck was so persistently bad!
" Even this didn't come off as we planned it," he
said, finishing my thought for me. And then he
turned very serious.
" Keep out of these things, girl, promise me.
You've got brains, don't let them run away with you.
Fight the day-wasters and the Broadway-bats off your
hoard. And go slow on the wedding bells. When
a woman marries, she ought to look up, not down, and
there aren't very many men can keep you looking up
for long."
CHAPTER XVI
I wired Griggsy the hour of my return, and he was
on the platform to meet me, tearing his hair.
" What's new? " I hailed cheerily, for I saw the boy
looked worried.
He opened on me like a machine gun. Crack!
R-r-r-r-r-r- ! First blood to Murphy, and then the
rapid fire.
" Jove ! Clarissa ! I thought you would never
come! I've pictured you dead, dying, mangled,
wounded, cast away somewhere in the wild woods
maybe arrested! I didn't hear a single w r ord and I
went pretty nearly crazy. Wherever have you been
hiding?"
" I've been asleep like Periwinkle," I laughed.
" Trying to square myself for a night's adventure.
Say ! It seems a thousand years ! "
" Jolly awkward for me left here having the box,
don't you know, and not a ghost of an idea what to do
with the bally thing where to put it how to pre-
serve it."
" Put it in your bureau drawer, bonehead ! It ain't
worth much." Fuss about nothing always did peeve
me, and, moreover, I had just alighted from a long
journey.
" Bureau drawer ! " he gasped. " Are you crazy ?
I've stayed in bed every minute of the time and nursed
it under my pillow. I haven't had proper food or
sleep I could hardly take a bath. Jackson's an
179
i8o WITS AND THE WOMAN
excellent valet but . Here's your bally box.
Keep it."
He whipped the black case out of his inner pocket
and thrust it on me, and I was obliged to crowd it
aboard in spite of my umbrella and bag and gloves.
I can't think of anything more irritating.
We were standing on the ferry by then and a sudden
inspiration to get even with him made me raise my
hand.
"If the stuff is such a bugbear, perhaps we'd just
better throw it overboard and be shut of it. All ready?
Shoot."
" Clarissa ! " snatching my arm.
I don't know whether or not I really intended to
chuck the case away. I was sore at not having found
any cache, and determined to go out of detective work.
This was quick and simple. Besides Griggs was rais-
ing such an unheard-of fuss. It didn't matter, how-
ever, for his arm action controlled mine. The thing
went flying out of my hand, struck the rail, and rico-
chetted on to a heap of coal that was being run through
to the hold. Howard in his light tweeds made a leap
for it. His foot struck the open cover and he
sprawled. Everybody roared, and no one seemed to
realize his object. The grimy giant shovelling wiped
the grin from his Irish mug and stuck his spade deeper.
A soft shower followed instantly. But Griggs was
on his feet again, and down the chute like a flash.
Mirth turned to consternation at his disappearance.
The deck hands got wise to something valuable hav-
ing been lost and did their level best to stem the steady
flow of coal from the carts, but it was impossible to
back water quick enough. My escort came up against
WITS AND THE WOMAN 181
a scattered bombardment. He stood erect, dancing a
Highland fling to keep his footing, and gradually sink-
ing as the yielding mass below gave under his weight.
In a half minute he had sunk from his waistband to
near his chest. Fellow passengers tugged on his arms,
too weak with laughter to raise him. And I sat limp.
At last the darkey driver climbed out of his cart
and rammed one of his tail-boards down the hole on
an incline. Up this, with much assistance, poor
Griggs scrambled. He was quite white about the face,
barring streaks, and very black about his pants. But
he held the cherished package, and continued to hold
it, not deeming me in my sane senses.
" Why didn't you smoke the stuff while you were in
bed, and have a good time? " I asked spitefully.
A dawning amazement kindled his eyes. " Haven't
you seen the papers? "
" Not a one. I've been in bed too, but I had rea-
son."
I was ready to launch at once into the terrific story
of real night life, but the boy cut me off short.
"Wait!"
He hurried away and after a wild tour of unoc-
cupied seats ran a daily to earth. This he handed me
folded in half. It was a Hearst paper and bore the
day's sensation in enormous letters right across the
top:
UNITED STATES ROBBED OF MILLIONS
GANG OF SMUGGLERS TAKEN RED HANDED FIGHT
POLICE
Detectives Working Diamond Clues Make a
Smashing Finish.
182 WITS AND THE WOMAN
(" They did," I murmured.)
Big fight on Canadian Border. Three killed. Gov-
ernment Officer Wounded. Two Arrests.
Boatman Turns King's Evidence.
GIRL ROBBER ROBS THE ROBBERS
WHERE ARE THE DIAMONDS ?
I knew the answer to that question. In Howard
Griggs's inner pocket. And five minutes before they
had been down an Erie Ferry coal-hole !
" You'll lunch with me at the Ritz ? Is your car
waiting?" I felt weak about the knees.
Looking back it seems this tale is one continual per-
formance of meals, Griggs and I vis-a-vis. But what
can you do with a story of New York life and have it
life-like. We ordered three courses served upstairs,
and ensconced ourselves with the latest copy of every
local newspaper piled around. There I told of our
wild night. How the boys had chased Bandy-legs and
sprung their trap. And the smugglers getting wise
had come flying after me. And how the Government
had swooped down on the lot and been decoyed into
a cold bath. Take it from me, on top of my version,
the Evening Journals' read tame. They gave us a
quantity of information on minor points things it
is well to know. For instance : that diamonds are al-
ways packed in paper, folded like a powder. I sat up.
" Ah, Jacobs ! You're it ! Diamonds ! Say.
Griggsy, I took him for a doctor collecting drugs
ain't I the simp ? "
Strange to say the papers made no mention of Ja-
cobs, gave not a hint of the pawnshop, or the cottage
WITS AND THE WOMAN 183
on the beach, or of any of the items we knew so well,
and which were really vital. Our bunch was working
on the inside track and the police racing us neck
and neck outside. The two pursuits had come danger-
ously near collision.
Griggs, firm in his convictions, maintained if I could
only receive Henri's messages clearer, we would know
all there was to know.
" Maybe they got rid of him because he knew too
much," I suggested.
" Jolly likely! And we're in a jolly awkward mess
now because of him, and he's got to get busy and get
us out. Nice case, don't you know, if anybody found
the stones, refused to believe us innocent, and all that.
Has de Grasse any remarks to make, Clarissa? "
His tone sounded haggard. I knew it was fear
for Angelica and the name of Griggs, so I gave five
minutes to silent thought, my spiritualistic companion
keeping respectfully in the background.
By and by the winged snake began to dodge around,
always with his little rubber dodging alongside, and
suddenly I snapped the shutter on an idea, and pro-
ceeded to develop it for Howard.
"Listen, Griggsy! These sparklers don't belong
to us. We know where they do belong, and the safe
deal is to return them. What I undertook as a lark,
or at best to hound Henri's murderer, has landed us in
the criminal class. ' Girl Robber Robs the Robbers ! '
That makes me feel good! If I hand them over to the
police, do I get away with it? Nix ! Too many ques-
tions. Can I put this case in a deposit vault? Every
bank throughout the country will be watching for it.
And I'm not going to offer it board and lodging here.
184 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Don't let's fool ourselves. Jacobs isn't one to lie down
under his loss. He'll sic a search party on, hot foot,
and invest enough small change to afford milady a
single-trip ticket to Sing Sing. He's all fitted out with
the American court regalia, money and politics, and
not a principle as big as a peanut to stumble over.
He needs to cover his own track, also. There's in-
centive for you! Of course I can squeal on him,
make a horrid noise, but he don't guess it. Besides
the public still calculates smoke rises from fire, and it's
hard to reason with an old-fashioned mule. I'd look
fine trying to explain Henri to a grand jury of New
York voters ! Exposure means dirty work all around
time, trouble, annoyance. There's only one thing
to be done then. Dump the rhinestones on the gang.
We can breeze out to the beach, unburden, and skip.
No call to leave cards. Probably the place will be
deserted. Business as usual under tbese conditions?
I don't think."
"This is de Grasse speaking marvellous!" said
Griggs, with a rapturous roll of his eyes.
" My plan is to wire for the Swallow.- Board her
at Ereeport. Run east. Dock five or ten minutes at
the bar, and come away with clean hands. Who'll be
the wiser? "
" It's late in the year for boating," ventured Howard.
" Jolly conspicuous, don't you know."
" You bet it's conspicuous, and we'll make it more
so. I can race around those waters every day for a
week two weeks five till Christmas. Have a
bee in my bonnet. Get my name in print ' Clarissa
Kendall of the Kendall Mines dippy on the dashing
wave.' I ought to be a reporter! And talking of
WITS AND THE WOMAN 185
print. We'll tell Tom Landy, afterwards, and warn
him to clam up. I was going to give him the dope
anyway for a scoop perhaps it's too risky now."
Griggs, hynotized by the thought of de Grasse as
a supernatural agent, hailed the scheme as a wonder,
and agreed to come along.
CHAPTER XVII
On Tom's advice we selected a quiet day for our
jaunt, at least it was quiet in Manhattan, but by the
time we arrived on the south shore of Long Island,
the wind was beginning to whoop it up; and that's
just a sample of how every detail went wrong from the
start.
First calamity, Griggs jammed his foot while trans-
ferring from the small boat into the Swallow. He let
out an unearthly, unEnglish squawk, and we tried to
persuade him to go ashore there and then. But I
fancy he was a bit riled over having cried, and he
stuck to it that the wound was a mere scratch. Of
course we had to ship him, against better judgment.
Any one with half an eye could see he suffered. And
he would be a dead weight in case of emergency.
Twenty minutes later he slipped his boot off and con-
fessed himself on the shelf. His toes were swelling
to beat the band.
Fussing about Howard one way and another the
tide dropped on us. Before you could say Jack Robin-
son we'd missed the confounded channel, and the
Swallow was all tied up in grass. It was my fault.
I was at the wheel. But that didn't make me any the
nicer tempered. Neither Tom nor I knew this shore
for we had always played her off the Jersey coast.
We reversed and drove out, and combed the weeds
from her gear as much as possible. Then Tom said
186
WITS AND THE WOMAN 187
it would be madness to try to run through a tricky,
winding, roundabout canal in two inches of water.
We must either go by the open ocean, or hunt a pilot,
or wait for high tide. Which left us but one choice,
for the last alternatives meant putting off the trip till
another day. After doing my bit as guardian of the
loot, I was strong on immediate action. So we turned,
glided through the harbor, and launched our expedi-
tion on a heaving sea.
The Swallow's nimble but she doesn't bulk large,
and being about as slim as they're built waves can't do
a thing to her ! The wind was rising fast. It would
strike us harmlessly from behind, going east. But
we had to navigate the bay on an angle and poor
Griggs added that leave-me-to-die feeling on top of
his other anguish. His measure of woe was pressed
down and literally running over.
I noticed Tom looking seaward every little while,
anxiously trying to calculate the wickedness of a black
cloud mass piling from the horizon. Calculating on
sea moods isn't ever too easy. And conversation
don't help. I left him to figure to himself.
" How are we going to recognize the place when we
do arrive? " Howard asked, between spasms. " I
never saw so many houses all so jolly alike."
" You voice my sentiments," I yelled, and would
have said more, but it made one's head sing to talk
against that gale. The whole shore lay before us,
linked house to house, showing less variety than a
machine-made chain. It struck me cold till I remem-
bered Uncle Sam's soldier standing to the south, which
had loomed out as we neared the bar from the other
side. I consulted Tom, with difficulty, for busting
i88 WITS AND THE WOMAN
my lungs only made me sound like a sick graphophone,
and he allowed it must have been the Fire Island Light.
Soon I spied a gray finger pointing out of nothing,
and kept the Swallow's head hard on. She did the
bird-act all right, when we gave her water.
Lickety-split down the coast at the height of my
hobby's power! The air cut with a knife edge.
Poor Griggs! What would it be going back? Tom
hung over her rhythmic throb attentive as a lover to
his lady's lips. For me there was the intoxication of
speed. To-day, amid pounding seas, and a gale shov-
ing behind, holding her wheel grew into a savage joy.
Something of the lawlessness of our errand got into
our blood. We shouted snatches of old salt songs,
each taking his pick in a tune. We rioted like a pair
of kids pretending to be bloody pirates. I was hav-
ing a whale of a time. I wouldn't have asked for a
better half hour, if only we had been out for the fun
of the ride, and Griggs not so uncomfortable.
Good things generally call a quick halt. Our knock
came as we sighted a gray house on the dunes, and I
passed the word to stop. Tom put her engine at half.
I turned her nose toward land, and it took one broad-
side to tell us trouble. The crash of water hit her in
the midriff. She staggered. Her light sides shud-
dered. Her joists groaned. The little bird straining
bravely slid from beneath that terrific weight; but
another would put her out of business. I tugged at
the stearing gear uselessly, for the tide had us and
its ebb was strong. A second mountain rose, towered
and Tom's iron hand fell on mine. He seemed to
be dragging the whole bottom out of the ocean, but he
turned her wheel over. The lump of a wave vanished,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 189
flowing under our keel, lifting instead of swamping us.
I pushed the high speed and we leaped ahead. The
beach with its landmarks whirled away on our left.
Tom sprang back to his engine and stood calling
directions. His voice sailed to me like a trumpet
note.
"See that line of foam on the starboard? She's
chewing the rag there. It means sand. At low water
that bar will break the surf. Keep inside and you'll
find shelter."
" We've passed the place. There ! " I cried, point-
ing backward. A gray cottage flashed into sunshine
and fell cold and cheerless again as the rift in the
clouds above it closed. No smoke curled from the
chimney.
We spun on. I knew how fast my Swallow trav-
elled, and began to worry. The fortune, securely car-
ried in a camera case slung beneath my coat, nagged
me every time I moved. I was anxious to be quit of
it but how to land ? Where to land, in that welter
of pounding surf?
" Port your helm ! " roared Tom.
I jumped. Most unexpectedly the bars we were
skimming between curved. The south shore widened,
sparsely covered with grass; and the sea narrowed to
a deep channel sweeping inland. The long point of
Fire Island protected us on one side, while our goal
lay open on the other. We followed around, and two
miles perhaps beyond our object, slowed up in com-
parative safety. Tom dropped anchor near shore and
prepared to carry me off.
Then arose problem three-hundred-and-sixty-nine.
Criggs had joined the party for the express purpose of
WITS AND THE WOMAN
accompanying me to the dunes. We had touched on
scientific value once or twice while discussing plans;
but he didn't have to argue half so hard this time.
Knowing all I knew about the interior of Jacobs's
menagerie I made no bones about accepting escort.
I'd have taken an armed guard with delight. How-
ever jammed toes and nausea are poor preparation
for a big adventure. We excused Howard from the
lists. The question on the carpet was whether Tom
would step along with me or remain by the boat.
We all wanted it to be both ways, and that set the
programme for a peach of a wrangle. I desired Tom's
company. Heaven witness! I yearned for his
strong right arm. But I wouldn't consent to leave
the boat to Howard, who doesn't know a thing about
engines; nor Howard to the Swallow, considering the
high wind, the choppy sea, and the devilishness of
Fate. Griggs gnashed his teeth ove- risking the scien-
tific possibilities hid in de Grasse and me on another
wild-goose chase. But all the same, he'd as soon have
crawled along on his wounded anatomy as have stayed
in the boat alone. Tom said he hated to have me walk
back that two miles against a tearing wind. He
argued for comfort, not dreaming of any gamble on
safety, and let it be clearly seen that he thought the
Swallow and Howard mismated.
One can't explain the ins and outs of a delicate situ-
ation to a man wading above his knees, ready to carry
one to shore, and the thermometer at fifty.
" Maybe you aren't saving me from cold feet,
Tom," I said, as he took me in his arms.
" Oh, that's all right," he answered cheerily, ac-
cepting the obvious meaning of my words. " Your
WITS AND THE WOMAN 191
friend's a dub in a boat, Miss Clarissa a regular
landlubber. They'd go to the bottom together, sure,
if we left them at large."
As I watched him climb back into the Swalloiv, his
wet legs gleaming against her black sides, it occurred
to me I might have sent Tom with the package and
have stayed aboard myself. But I was too proud to
show the white feather at that late date. Instead, I
had an inspiration and called to him through cupped
hands :
" Try if you can make it through the channel and
moor at the dock on the bay side. I landed there once.
It's deep water. It will save me the walk back."
" Why can't we take you around, then ? "
I shook my head. " You may not be able to run
through. We can't afford to waste time. I'm off."
I reckoned the Swallow had done about four miles
in her last ten minutes and walking back to that cot-
tage, which must have been half way, was likely to be
some little stunt. I was surprised to find the going
easy I had started on a sheltered end of the beach,
and didn't allow for it. I skimmed along, feeling
keyed up, full of energy, fresh charged by a dash
through wind and spray, that must have awakened
the spirits of a mouse. I ran. I walked. I played
at being a speed boat. I licked up the distance, till,
suddenly rounding a point, the full force of a rip-
splitting gale hurled me back. It wrapped my skirts
about my knees and held me so, drenching me with
salt water. Lot's wife had nothing on me as a help-
less pillar of brine. And then the wind unlashed me
and prepared to play other pranks. Just to brace
against it took all my effort. I labored sidewise,
192 WITS AND THE WOMAN
panting, and gained a partial shelter among the dunes.
Here it was possible to work forward in stages. I
had peace at least dodging from hummock to hum-
mock, though the wind roared between. The sea
made a tremendous noise. I couldn't hear my own
voice. Some places I was obliged to climb over the
dunes, and the up and down ate into time. And worst
of all, the sand began to blow off them in great sting-
ing clouds. When one of these gusts swirled down
on me, there was nothing to do but grit my teeth, shut
my eyes, and hold my head low against it. Sunshine
flashed over the scene, and gave way to shadow,
glowed brightly, and faded. The two played tag up
and down the beach.
" Jumpin' Jimminy ! " I cried. " Why go to Egypt
to enjoy sand?" And the storm caught my words
and whisked them away so I might as well have been
speaking to deaf ears. This gave me an uncanny feel-
ing.
In spells it seemed as if I just stood there and pawed
the atmosphere with my hands and feet, locomotion
not getting an inch forwarder. But I must have been
moving all the time, because, finally, I came over one
of the dunes into full view of the house. The wind
abated at that minute, and in the lull I slid down the
sloping sandbank, and sat considering, trying to catch
up with my breath, wondering what next? Sand was
swirling around the cottage, and the sun shone out
making all those crazy particles dance in its light.
I saw the picture drifting in a golden mist and it
looked mighty pretty.
While I was resting there, toying with admiration
and thinking how unlike Felix the outside of his jolly
WITS AND THE WOMAN 193
little shack appeared, the cellar door opened, and out
popped my old sailor man. He carried a small bundle
in a red handkerchief, I could see the color plainly,
and he stood blinking, peering this way and that as if
wondering where he must start to. Perhaps he saw
me. He saw something that scared him. For all of
a sudden he whisked about and made off in the op-
posite direction. Trying to move fast against the
wind he looked like a funny, bent old crab.
"Canned it!" thought I. "He tholed mair from
Felix than his aged nerves could stand. Maybe they're
all gone and he's making good his escape."
The door was open anyway, and my course lay clear.
I had only to go in and put the case on the buffet, or
in a drawer. Diamonds don't depreciate by lying
around, however, I intended, if the place showed signs
of desertion, to fix them snug. You see Henri took
a loving interest in that white treasure. This disposal
was his idea from first to last, and owing to twinges
in my upper region I began to fear it had been evolved
as a sop to Griggs. Rather than suffer the actual loss
of police interferences de Grasse preferred to hand the
plunder to confederates, and trust his wits for getting
a share back later.
Cautiously I slipped into the dark, boarded cellar.
I listened. Silence. Not an indication of life.
Sneaking into another person's house after I had seen
the caretaker cut and run gave me a curious sensation.
There was no need to feel fishy. I had come to re-
store, not to practise deceit, and yet I felt like a thief.
My jumpiness was not fear of Felix though I
loathed meeting the woman. I knew at heart Henri
and the diamonds were more llian a match for him.
194 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Tiptoeing past the upturned boat and the empty
booze cases brought me to the heavily built ladder.
Everything was damp, mildewed, swollen. Not a,
sound heralded my approach. The absolute quiet fell
over one's spirits cheerful as a wet blanket. I should
have been capering and singing paeans at missing a
round with the family pets. Instead, I progressed
like a funeral.
If the cellar felt eerie, the kitchen looked human
enough, and just about their class of human. It was
stacked with dirty dishes and refuse of food. Plates
piled under the table and on the table gave the lie to
my host's absence. Cups and bowls overflowed the
sink. Stew pans found a last port on top of a dirty
lighted stove lighted, mark you! Somebody be-
sides the old boy must have been living here.
I listened again. Only the roar of the surf and the
wind racketed without.
I stole through the anteroom and peered from be-
hind their cotton drape. Silence! The whole place
seemed larger, but it was still dimly lighted. The
shutters had not been removed, and when old Sol fled
behind a cloud, darkness struggled with the day filter-
ing through back windows. The dirty dining-table
stood as before, blocking my entrance, its draggled
cover pulled awry. But Felix no longer swayed be-
hind it. The sense of space must have come from his
absence his and the rest of the sweet bunch!
Neither drinks, nor cards, nor chips offered hospital-
ity. The couch was empty of its swinish load. Sis
had removed her hat and coat. Compared to the last
set, this scene was a heaven of order.
My glance, eagerly growing accustomed to twilight,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 195
wandered back over the table. Ah! Spread upon it
lay a paper yesterday's Sun announcing in large
type: DIAMOND SMUGGLER TRACKED, and
right below this presenting the picture of the horse-
faced man. Peach of a portrait, too! Felix's grim
mouth, hawk beak and stony eyes to the life!
I went quickly forward. I felt at home and sure
of myself now they were gone. I wanted to see that
picture.
God! There on the floor, his body hidden by the
dirty cloth, lay the man himself. An ashy human face
stared up at me the spittin'. image of that newspaper
face staring from the table about the same color
too! Cold fear clutched my heart. Did you ever in
your dreams keep on standing in a spot you knew was
hell, from lack of power to move away? I stood like
that, watching his eyes glaze, watching him die. He
plucked at the crex rug. He gurgled. His throat
contracted. I thought he tried to say " Henri."
Beyond Felix lay the woman. She was prone, and
differently dressed neater but I recognized her
from her mop of red hair. Even in extremity I knew a
sensation of thankfulness that her fat foolish face re-
mained hidden. A little trickle of blood oozed out
of her body. It started from underneath. It length-
ened. It ran toward me inexpressibly grewsome.
Half lying myself, hanging on the table open-mouthed,
gasping, I watched it, fascinated.
A revolver had fallen between them. I noticed a
shred of bluish smoke floating in the heavy atmosphere
hardly above the floor. It swirled weakly from corpse
to corpse. The wraith of movement in this charnel
galvanized me. I looked again, keenly alert. The
196 WITS AND THE WOMAN
horror was brand new then! It must have happened
while I sat watching on the dunes; admiring the silly
cottage lost in a golden haze, a million sunbeams join-
ing hands to drown it. No wonder the old chap had
fled!
Theirs was an easy end to understand. Caught here
he had stayed, hoping to escape the police. Peril
sobered them at first, the house bore evidence of that.
But they had quarrelled, crazed by confinement, weary
of being shut away together in this god-forsaken place
with FEAR. How the news must have jangled
his nerves! I remembered his bullying laugh, and her
dreadful sarcasm. Had she been a member of the
gang? The gang I was mixed up with! Or was she
only his woman ? Why in thunder did any man have
any traffic with a grouch like her? Wondering, I
straightened up. My mind was working and my heart-
strings grew less taut. I breathed. I moved closer
to the table, wanting to see, and my toe touched the
sole of Felix's dead foot sticking beneath it.
Yell? I opened my head and let one holler out of
me! The marvel is it didn't wake them! And then
I ran. Gee whelikins ! I fell down those cellar stairs.
I ran as if fifty million devils were after me. I
jumped straight into the middle of the bushes, and
rammed right through, tearing and ripping the clothes
off my back ; satisfied with any conditions that put
space between IT and me. There was no speed limit.
I couldn't go fast enough. Once out of the gorse I
flew down those rickety old plank walks like flame.
And if the boat hadn't been there, I'd have licked clear
on to Babylon.
But she was there, lying off the end of the pier, un-
An ashy human face stared up at me
WITS AND THE WOMAN 197
moored, ready. Tom and Griggs had seen me com-
ing.
I pounded over the boards and jumped in. I
dropped dead on the floor. I had no wind, no words.
My throat was parched, my lungs pumping. Condi-
tions yelled at Tom to quit sudden. He turned her
loose and sprang for the wheel. In a jiffy we were
racing across the bay.
Those two were the sickest boys I've ever seen.
You must remember Griggs had only heard a polite
version of my last experience on the beach and
Tom knew nothing about it. But the fact was per-
fectly evident that something terrific had happened.
" We shouldn't have allowed you to go ! " Howard
kept on repeating. " We shouldn't have allowed you.
Damn this foot ! " He got out the whisky flask and
made me drink. He bathed my face and hands in
cold sea-water. Both helped.
" What in the Sam Hill's wrong? "
" Murder ! " I gasped. " Suicide ! " I couldn't
say anything more, just lay weakly with Griggs patting
me and Tom steering up and down the bay not know-
ing where to go.
We dropped to low power and ran around heeding
neither waves nor gale till I recovered breath and
courage to tell them. I've never seen a human being
more upset than Howard. Tom was silent till the last
word.
" How long ago did this this killing happen? "
" It came off now," I said. " Not ten minutes ago,
not five. I saw Felix die."
" Did yon know the fellow ? " asked both amazed.
I shook my head. " That's his name. He's in the
198 WITS AND THE WOMAN
paper his picture. He's one of the diamond gang."
Tom whistled. His face fell into serious lines.
" I saw an old seaman scuttle past. Was it the
caretaker? Jove! Clarissa, did he see you?" asked
Griggs.
"I don't know. How can I tell? I saw him.
Don't pester me with questions or I'll cry."
I'm not the crying kind so cataclysm indicated my
limit. Howard began to pat me quietly, and Tom
took command.
" Well, we'd better make tracks. We're too near
this place for comfort. Townspeople have such glar-
ing memories ! Nevertheless I'm afraid we will have
to storm the mainland. We can't go outside. I
daren't attempt to run up against this sea. Guess we'll
land at the public wharf and play it open. Hanging
back won't do us any good. The Swallow is the only
craft afloat here, and mighty conspicuous."
That was truer than he imagined. On the town
dock we found a bunch of old tars, bay -men and loaf-
ers gathered to watch the speed boat doing her first
flights up and down the harbor. Griggs with his lame
foot, and me all in, as I was, we certainly looked a
queer crowd to be wasting our time in such sport.
And the story of our coming from Freeport by open
ocean, a perfectly crazy lark in such weather, didn't
help any. The crowd received us with incredulous
stares. Had we laid ourselves out to attract atten-
tion we couldn't have planned better.
Tom inquired about the trains, and called a taxi.
" Been a bit too much for her," with a nod towards
me, was the only comment he offered.
The local was full. We had difficulty in finding
WITS AND THE WOMAN 199
seats, and I believe being up against it having to
hustle was our best medicine. Griggs and I sat
side by side, inefficiency making us feel like naughty
children, while Tom superintended things from down
the aisle.
The train crawled, stopping to take up the tracks
and relay them at every crossroad. Her trip must
have been timed to test the passengers' patience.
Every five minutes she'd spend an hour anchored to
some tiny cowshed. It grew hot, steaming hot. The
air was rank. Not a ventilator open and the tempera-
ture overburdened with odors of humanity.
" I can't stand this ! " I cried, rising to take off my
coat. As my arms slipped out, something slipped on
my shoulder the camera case. The diamonds !
" Howard," I confessed, in a sepulchral voice, " I
forgot to leave them."
CHAPTER XVIII
Two days later little Clarissa, all sunned up in a new
suit and splendid spirits, sallied forth to visit Mr.
Howard Horatio Griggs, to condone with him about
a mysteriously wounded foot, and drink a cup of tea.
The Swanhills were invited for form's sake. (After
Griggsy and me kiting up to Canada through the lone
dark night, without a thought of sin! Isn't it the
limit?) Yet a bachelor apartment is a bachelor apart-
ment, and that obscure remark " the higher the fewer "
does not necessarily apply.
Conversation over a telephone is circumscribed at
best, and our parting had left much to be said. So
I arranged to go late, trusting the chaperones would
leave early, determined to brave Mrs. G. and sit them
out at a pinch.
Dear Aunt Elizabeth's ear-rings, furbished up by
Tiffany, their original garnets replaced with pigeon
bloods as big as cobblestones, had just come home.
The designer claimed diamonds wouldn't have been
fashionable in the old lady's time, and the reds were
sweller they were a swell price anyway! If he'd
put twinklers in, I don't believe I'd have had the nerve
to wear them, but as it was I hung the decoration on,
and pranced. Savvy? It was my fell intention to
make that Erma madder than a wet hen.
Her blessed brother played right into my hand at the
start.
200
WITS AND THE WOMAN 201
" You look so different, Miss Clarissa, awfully grown
up. I don't believe I ever saw you wearing danglers
before. Very becoming."
" The ear-rings," I laughed. " Old stuff. I don't
sport them often, but I have an affection for them all
the same. Great-grandaunt Elizabeth's wedding pres-
ent." I made a courtesy in grand style and, unhitch-
ing one, handed it over for inspection. I wanted them
to note the setting was genuine antique. Sister
grabbed it instantly and began purring over the stone
anything to get next to Howard !
" I've often wondered what kind of a stock was up
to producing Clarissa Kendall of Kendall Mine fame,"
Swanhill bantered, admiring, yet with a question
tucked inside.
I smiled. " One of the great-grands held a com-
mand under Nelson"; (It was no lie either.) and
added, " but my people didn't emigrate in the May--
flower, they were some punkins before that."
Griggs turned scarlet. Beaty laughed. And
Erma slapped her furs around her neck quick, saying
she'd have to leave another engagement the re-
liable old gag.
" Sit down, sis. Lots of time. We can miss a
dance or two." He came around behind my chair.
"What have you got here? Candy? I'm starving
for candy." The great baby lifted a beaded bag that
hung on the knob and commenced to pull its neck
apart. His frank curiosity was rather attractive. I
saw he would burn his ringers in a minute.
" Not so fast ! Smarty ! You'll be discovering all
my secrets." My vehemence startled him. I snatched
the bag which was really too large and bulky for aft-
202 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ernoon use, and holding it securely, tried to laugh the
incident off.
" How's rubber? " That was a safe subject to di-
vert Mr. Broker Beaty, but it didn't work, not for a
minute.
" Don't talk shop not on a dandy afternoon like
this," he began to jolly me. " Where have you been
since a dog's age? I called twice. They hit me over
the inoffensive cranium with a brick bat ' out of
town.' Out of town, indeed! Why don't you give
us warning? You certainly ought to leave me your
address on account of the market. Rubber's up
sky high. Better sell. Something might happen."
" Shucks ! " I said. " Who appointed you my uncle
Dudley? Let it happen."
" I believe you carry the midnight kit in that bead
bag. Ah, it's hard ! Not a negligee."
His fingers itched and I kept them itching. We
bandied personal criticisms for a time, till Erma
" really had to " and towed him away, unresisting and
humble.
I rounded up Aunt Elizabeth's own, and Griggs sat
watching me put it on.
"Jove! I don't see how you can look a jewel in
the face let alone hook it in."
" Hook nothing ! It screws see. One hole in
anybody's ear is sufficient. You can go up head,
Griggsy. You are learning the great American lan-
guage."
" What have you done with the bally things ? " he
asked wearily.
" They're here." I swung the disputed bag.
" Bought this yesterday at daybreak. I'm obliged to
WITS AND THE WOMAN 203
carry them around. Wouldn't Swanhill have thrown
fits, if he'd seen my brand of candy? "
" Have you ever taken a peep? "
" Nix ! Why should I ? Diamonds are diamonds,
specially unset. And I never feel safe and sure alone
in a hotel the maids having pass keys and all."
" We're safe now. Jackson wouldn't dream of com-
ing in, unless I rang. Let's look, Clarissa."
" Children cry for it," I said tossing over the bag.
And he, bored and curious and idle, was as pleased as
a kid with a new toy.
I didn't trust any person those days, so I locked both
doors.
Stealthily, eagerly he pulled out the black case and
opened it over my lap. A snowstorm of folded paper
tumbled together. We grabbed one each and started
unfolding. Now I'd begun, I was keener than he,
and my fingers being nimbler I beat him to it.
"Look!" I cried, before I'd fairly looked myself.
Our heads drew close. Instead of a bright tear-drop
glistening on the paper we saw only a dull white pebble.
" In the rough. Always look like that, don't you
know."
" Tain't in the rough," I objected. " No rough
about this. It's smooth as a job hunter. It's only a
durned smooth freshwater pebble picked out of some-
body's front walk ! "
Griggs examined the stone. " I believe you're
right," and opening his, exclaimed, " Here's another
jolly little bounder ! "
Working fast and furious we opened every paper,
with a net result that wasn't worth five cents. We
didn't find a single sparkler in the lot just common
204 WITS AND THE WOMAN
or garden pebbles. Stutz had handed me nothing.
The gang had fought for a leather case, and lost their
freedom for a song on the wild, black shore of Erie.
Griggs had lain awake guarding vacuum, as values
went, and I had been transporting a sample of the foot-
path on my sacred person. Gee! We gazed at each
other dumfounded. And then a curious thing hap-
pened.
Without choice or intention I up and let them have
it in the ripest volley of ripe oaths ever unloaded on
New York. I consigned Jacobs to perdition, whole
and in fractions, and mentioned half a dozen stopping
places en route where he wouldn't need an arctic out-
fit. I named them over every one apart. I blistered
him. I blazed. I blew up and descended in lava, and
sank back on to my chair stuttering. Minor curses
rose like smoke from an explosion. And all the time
acute pain racked me to think that crafty Jew had put
one over on Felix.
Griggs, rallying from his first shock, bounced for a
pad and pencil and began taking notes.
When I had simmered down and sat glaring after
he manner of an irate tiger, he tried to soothe me.
"Jove, this a sell! But it doesn't make the least
difference. We've been at our wits' end to lose the
bally things," he laughed. " It looks as if our troubles
were over."
"If you think losing a fortune is anything to laugh
at, you've got another guess coming," I snapped.
" It's a crime."
Griggs made a note. He balanced himself on a
Jacobean stool, nursing his game leg, and turned to me
with an assumption of dignity quite out of class.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 205
" Clarissa, it is a crime for you not to give Science
a chance. This afternoon's afternoon's excitement
has been a magnificent display. I don't know that I
have ever witnessed any exhibition I prized more.
For five minutes you were completely under the influ-
ence of your familiar spirit, if I may mention de
Grasse so. Could Sir Gillespie have taken part "
" Oh, cut it out ! Science has got you buffaloed !
Jacobs has got us all buffaloed ! " I cried. " No won-
der he showed me those empty closets, going to intro-
duce me as evidence make me swear to his childlike
simplicity. What's the betting that he's got the loot? "
" I only hope he has," said Howard, thinking of
Angelica. " We're a great deal better off as it is, old
thing," were his words at parting.
A man had been waiting to see me a long time,
they said at the desk. And in the softly carpeted,
roseately lighted corridor leading to my suite I found
Tom Landy supporting the door jamb. His mood
struck antagonistically against its surroundings from
the start, as he said shortly:
" Afraid you'd come in and go out again, and I'd
miss you."
And he didn't waste half a dozen words on polite-
ness before he came to the point. " How would you
enjoy a trip abroad Europe, Africa, Australia?
The farther the better."
" In the Swallow? " I queried laughing. " Let me
order something for you, Tom. Waiting is a dry
job."
But my buoyance broke to smithereens against his
gravity.
" That interesting news item on the sand bar has
ao6 WITS AND THE WOMAN
been uncovered. Babylon is crazy everybody talk-
ing."
I was nonplussed. He stepped to one door after
the other, glanced outside, and closed and fastened
them. Even a matter of fact manner could not hide
the suggestiveness of such actions. Then he sat on
the edge of his chair, leaned forward, and talked earn-
estly in a low voice.
"Babylon is humming with the murder now, but
up to seven o'clock this morning its wharf loafers
talked of nothing but a certain black speedboat Her
having dared to run from Freeport by open sea, a craft
of that size, so late in the year, too the season long
over and dirty weather almost certain. And the queer-
ness of her having landed with a wounded man and
a plumb scared girl on board. It doesn't take long
for the dullest wits to hang a connecting link between
these two sensations; particularly as they happened on
the same day or thereabouts. (The coroner's in-
quest win fix an exact date for the deaths.) Report-
ers on several sporting pages were down to see me
and the Swallow yesterday."
" I planned to make boating a feature," I admitted
weakly.
"ItTI be featured all right! One tenacious fellow
with a steel trap of a mind hung around to-day from
twelve to two. If he isn't a detective I miss my
guess!"
" Perhaps I'd better look up sailings and get some
clothes"
"Clothes!" he snorted. "You'd better get out
quick!"
WITS AND THE WOMAN 207
"But one can't travel without clothes it would
spoil all the fun "
He looked at me open-eyed. " Say, Miss Clarissa,
this isn't fun. Being arrested, even on suspicion, is
no fun!"
"Arrested." My voice died in a dry throat I
swallowed. " They couldn't do it they haven't any
any proof."
" How do we know what they've got? You were
on the bar. You were right in the house at that very
time, or mighty soon after. I don't know why you
went there, and I don'-t want to know. Maybe you
could explain it satisfactorily, but any chance of your
having to do so in court is what we want to prevent.
Arrest is a nasty business it's a splash of indelible
ink!"
His use of the plural unnerved me. Griggs the
honorable name of Griggs would be dragged in the
mud too, and the Terrier and Bully. "But isn't it
foolish to run away doesn't it make us look guilty? "
I asked.
" We fouled our innocence by not reporting at the
time. And in America, running is pretty good medi-
cine. Public indignation is short-lived here. The
police are pushing this case like fury, and it's being
read and studied as few are, but the next excitement
is sure to snuff out interest. Absence may save you
a lot of annoyance at the worst they'd have to lo-
cate you, and it all takes time. There's the old chap
to reckon with too."
He drew a wallet from his inside pocket and handed
me a paper dipping. An inconspicuous notice of an
208 WITS AND THE WOMAN
old sailor being found in an open boat, out of his
head from exposure, and taken to Bellevue Hospital.
" He could tell all about the murder, if it's the same
man."
" W T hy should he tell maybe he did it himself, and
the surest way to get clear would be to have another
suspected. He'd have everything to lose and nothing
to gain in helping you he'd never seen you before."
" Oh, yes, he had ! I was there not so long ago.
He was nice, kind old chap, called me ' Missy ' and
said it was no place for the likes of me "
Tom's face went white as a boiled shirt. He
stared. " You didn't have anything to do with the
gang, did you, Miss Kendall ? "
" Good heavens, no ! I never spoke to any of them
in my life except when I went out there for a lark.
I just got in by chance I didn't know what I was
doing. You scare me, Tom, with your wild sugges-
tions."
" Not as bad as you scared me," he answered. " We
can't bank on the old fellow. Take my advice and
cut it get off under another name lose yourself
for a while."
"Is it as bad as that? I'll go. I'll do anything
you say only leave me now."
I shoved a roll of bills into his hand and shoved him
toward the door. Henri and I had had ill we could
stand.
CHAPTER XIX
The steamship Carbothia, sailing from a Jersey pier
at two o'clock next day, carried among her first cabin
passengers a certain Mrs. J. J. Brown, who resembled
Clarissa Kendall surprisingly: same latitude, same
longitude, same weight to an ounce, same eyes and
teeth and complexion, same voice, same laugh, even
the identical clothes. Only a plain gold band encir-
cling her third finger on the left hand gave sameness
the lie. Had you been rushing forward to greet Clar-
issa, arms extended, and a gush about old times bub-
bling under your tongue, one glimpse of that band
must have faced you about, feeling all sorts of a fool.
Naturally, Clarissa Kendall wouldn't be wearing a wed-
ding ring. Tom Landy had supplied the disguise along
with my ticket.
Only one person came down to see Mrs. Brown off,
and he didn't seem to have much to say to her. Em-
barrassed silence hung over them. Their thoughts
were much too serious for words in public ; and
each shivered in his shoes, secretly fearing an official
interruption. But when the moment came, the youth-
full widow shook her henchman's hand warmly, say-
ing:
" Remember, Tom, you're in charge till I get back.
I'll send my address. Take another job, if you need
it to keep out of mischief, but you salary's doubled
and will go on just the same. Good-by, and a thou-
209
210 WITS AND THE WOMAN
sand thanks. Don't forget to call on Mr. Griggs this
evening."
Whistles blew, kisses were smacked, embraces given,
handkerchiefs waved. Stay-behinds hurried on shore.
The Carbothia began to back out, separating loving
thousands. A jammed pier-end became only less ani-
mated than her thronged rails. Aristocracy waved
five-dollar cambric and fifty-dollar lace from her cabin
deck, and farewells graded themselves suitably down
to the steward leaning from a scullery port, chucking
an orange peel at his best girl. A pretty scene, a
lively scene, an exciting scene, one to which every good
American looks either forward or back born to be
part and parcel of it. An opening scene which ninety-
nine per cent, of a ship's passengers can bank on see-
ing, no matter what the state of their livers. Little
Mrs. Brown, on her virgin trip, was the exceptional
one per cent.
I waited not to single Tom's shoulders from the
mass; to watch the Woolworth Building drape her
head in mist; to serve my term at the writing desk,
or sight Liberty lighting our outward path. I had
already sighted a personality much more impressive,
and, to me, confounding. Jim Gower, who for one
fleeting night had been so gone on me, stood with a
woman, not ten feet forward, absorbed by the passing
show. He held her arm possessively, and from the
childish face sunning itself in dimples, I guessed it
was her maiden voyage too. With sarcasm priming
memory I faded away into deep seclusion. It didn't
take five minutes, going down the Hudson River in
midstream, to prove Mrs. J. J. B. a rotten sailor. She
undressed at once, and slipped into her berth. There
WITS AND THE WOMAN 211
a husky stewardess found her in due time, clad in a
crepe nightie and a flowery cap, sleeping the sleep of
innocence and great fatigue. From the shadows un-
der her eyes " bon voyage " must have been a regular
razzle-dazzle for Mrs. Brown strenuous anyway !
" Humph," remarked the company's employee,
quickly appraising my clothes and hand baggage. She
sensed she was likely to find work in this room and
figured the probable size of a hard-earned tip.
Packing an entire night on top of recent excitement
had about finished me. For two days I lay a weary
rag, cozening the Irishwoman's superior knowledge
into voluble sympathy. But as my eyes brightened and
my cheeks grew pink, helped by the strong salt air
blowing into an open port, she waxed impatient.
" Are you minded to hug your cabin all the way
to the auld sod? Sure, and it's the splendid weather
we're havin'. You'd do finely on deck."
But Mrs. Brown continued to lie abed, eating like
a wolf, devouring books between meals and limiting
her chances of conversation to the attendance of Kath-
leen O'Doyle.
" Begorra, ye make me ashamed of my sex ! " she
upbraided. " There's anither of ye across the hall.
Older than you by thirty year, but not a hap'orth
spryer or a hap'orth more sick. Baroness von Rath-
gartz, they have her down. She don't look it but
thin she's only wan of them furrin quality and what
can you get from a hog but a grunt? It's the truth,
I'm tellin' you. She hasn't had a blessed mouthful of
fresh air yet. ' The sunlight hurts my eyes,' says she.
' Musha, you could be takin' a turn after dark/ I told
her."
212 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Mrs. Brown allowed the worthy tongue to wag,
but took a cue from its advice. After that I spent an
hour on deck each evening while the saloon dined and
wined itself, Gower first to enter and last to leave, un-
doubtedly. By avoiding companionways and stealing
up a little stair just near my own door, I managed
to pass out unobserved, and enjoyed a grand trot
around the deserted decks in perfect safety. Night
after night old ocean rolled the same monotonous but
charitable mood; tossing us lightly, regularly, on a
lullaby swell. We were making a record voyage.
Hardened travellers marvelled over our daily runs;
the betting pool became a riot; but in fair weather
nobody kicked at her driving ahead. Passengers be-
gan to congratulate themselves and each other on sav-
ing a day. The captain received their felicitation
with reserve. He was not much in evidence. Men
hit it off at shuffle-board, smoked and told stories.
The women idled and enjoyed themselves, and also
told stories. I felt as peeved over being out of it all,
as the stewardess, who painted these delights, was with
my laziness. But I continued to lie low till that fate-
ful hour, throwing even the most supine of us into
terrified action.
Stop here and mark a foot note on your memory-
file. All this happened a decade ago. Quite before
sea tragedy dropped to the level of the commonplace ;
before submarine commanders were iron-crossed for
their glorious achievements in destroying women and
children; before torpedo warfare had blazed a bar
sinister on civilization's shield ; before even the Titanic
with her thousand victims, or that bit of Chicago care-
lessness with its nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine, had
WITS AND THE WOMAN 213
electrified the world. We have learned to take our
list of drowned now every morning at the breakfast
table, very much as we take our cup of coffee, unemo-
tionally counting the lumps of sugar fading into its
dark depths. But in those days it was not so. Pas-
sengers claimed a certain amount of security when
they embarked. They chose a first class boat on a
good line and expected to be looked after. And they
were preserved alive, mostly. Therefore the total
destruction of the good ship Carbothia stood out
largely in the headlines, and darkly in the hearts of
New York. Newspapers went into mourning. Quite
disinterested people wore a black ribbon. Crowds
surged around the bulletin boards night and day.
Loss of a passenger ship, with a name like Gower's
heading the list of missing, was a stern, attention-com-
pelling catastrophe then.
It stands out grimly in my mind's eye now; every
detail black-faced, clear as a first impression.
We were steaming along at a good clip, not far
off the coast of Ireland. It was early morning
about six, I fancy not yet light. I had climbed up
to take a look out of my port and get a breath of raw
fresh air, and I stood planning the fun I would have
on shore. I was fed up with rest and quiet now.
Excepting that sprint on deck every evening I had
taken no exercise for six days. Try it. Makes one
boy-hungry for a lark.
While I was standing there, musing on the face of
the gray waters, thinking of London and Paris, and
the shops, she went off. Whoo ! Gripes ! What
a racket! Immediately a cloud of dense black smoke
roared out of the front part of the ship. I waited to
214 WITS AND THE WOMAN
see no more, but jumped for my skirt and coat, hang-
ing right at hand, slung them on over my negligee,
and dashed into the passage. The whole place was
already in wildest disorder. Men, women and chil-
dren poured out of their staterooms making for the
main stairway, some of them not dressed at all, and
everybody pulling and jostling and screaming. As
I hesitated, calculating on the best chance, I heard
cries from the berth opposite mine the one where
the Baroness, as reported, had loafed away her days.
Say! I couldn't listen to a dog cry like that and not
do something. I ran back to her rescue, flung the
door open and stood petrified. There on the bed, half
in, half out, lay Angelica Deering. No! Impossible!
But it was the woman who had been hidden in Jacobs's
secret room. I knew her. I couldn't miss. I recog-
nized those fear-glazed eyes staring at me as they had
stared that first time. She was scared now more
scared than on the former count. I'd have said she
was worse frightened than anybody else on board.
And I tell you some pretty ghastly faces had greeted
mine in the hall.
" (Help ! Help ! " the old thing called, without at-
tempting to move or help herself.
There wasn't a minute to lose, a minute to reason.
I hated her, but I couldn't leave a living soul to drown
like a rat in a hole. I reached right across and yanked
her out of bed by the breast of her stout flannel gown.
She was absolutely numb with fear whether of the
accident, or of me, or of the blend I had no way to
tell. I rolled a dressing robe, a soiled gray garment,
around her, and seeing my enemy in its folds removed
the last lingering doubt of her identity. Luck had
WITS AND THE WOMAN '215
given me a chance to get even with her all right, but
what did I care for the chance with the ship sinking
under us a mile a minute. Luck and circumstances
do pass the buck in private sure ! Time was the only
thing worth reckoning. We weren't set to compare
notes or fill each other's ears with invective not we !
I gave her a shove towards the door. She cowered.
I pushed, and seeing that was no use, dodged through
myself and commenced to drag. She tore away from
my grasp, and diving back, grabbed a bulky pocketbook
from under her pillow.
" This must be saved ! Must must ! It must be
saved ! " she whimpered. " I've been a bad old
woman, and there's no use living none at all if I lose
it. And I have no safe place no place!" All the
time she was pawing over her dressing gown, trying to
find a pocket that didn't exist. And all the time the
ship was going down. Suddenly she held the wad to
me crying:
"Take it put it away save it! Give it to me
afterward only save the key." I stuck the case
into my Norfolk coat and hauled her out, now unpro-
testing. And all the time she muttered and wailed.
" The papers the key the box at Schlossgartz.
Fritz has the papers my papers my secret My
boy, oh, my boy ! The little gray dispatch box. Save
it!"
By this time Clarissa was entertaining qualms for
her own safety.
The long passage leading from our doors had emp-
tied. I saw a mob farther on, every man-jack of them
crowding toward the main companionway. I saw
we couldn't make it, and in a flash remembered the side
216 WITS AND THE WOMAN
door I had used taking my little airings unobserved.
A second later I had the old baggage faced about.
How I managed to get her up the ladder Heaven only
knows, for she was massive, though not stout, a half
head taller than I and stupid from fright.
We did get up, and just in time, too. The water
began to come in on our level a few minutes later.
Most of the folks on the lower deck were drowned.
The coal had been burning for three or four days ;
good reason for our jamming ahead breaking all rec-
ords. Our captain set shifts to fight the fire and kept
the danger to himself fearing panic among his pas-
sengers. Aside from the risk of accumulated gas ex-
ploding, a fire in the coal bunkers isn't half so infre-
quent nor half so terrifying as one might suppose.
Our crew had discovered the source and location of
the mischief, and had the fire in hand. We were mak-
ing smart time in wonderful weather. With just a lit-
tle luck all would be well. Nevertheless captain and
purser wore troubled faces; mindful of the high ex-
plosives invoiced in her cargo. The only outward sign
of this situation was the lifeboats ready swung over
the water; and such is the sloth of idle brains, after
they had been carried that way for twenty- four hours,
even the most curious ceased to bother. As I had been
told, everybody was enjoying himself to the hilt.
Then suddenly, before the cock crew on our last
day out, a pocket of the foul gas blew off. Nothing
to worry about in itself, that little explosion, if it
hadn't started the combustibles in her hold.
Nobody knew these facts during the reign of ter-
ror; nor stopped to care nor to inquire as they were
WITS AND THE WOMAN 217
vomited forth from the ship's interior, or held below,
a seething, striving, obstructive mass. I realized then
only what I saw as we climbed to the boat-deck : the
front of the vessel burning and settling, with a heavy
pillar of smoke blowing away from her. A splendid
sort of funeral plume waving the last journey for
many human souls.
At the top of our ladder Grandma and I came out
almost opposite a lifeboat. The chief officer stood
calmly at his post loading folks into it.
" Room for one more ! " his stentorian voice bel-
lowed.
A worm sprang forward and was hauled back.
Dozens of hands clutched him. Fists doubled them-
selves in defence of the world edict. Threats were
shaken in his face. I rather pitied the poor thing that
wanted most to live. Hisses started and dropped,
spurted here and there venomously, fainted, died away.
The officer glanced in our direction. I shoved the
Baroness toward him, and two husky sailors lifted
her in. They'd have glammed me also, I being the
only other female in sight But I backed off. The
boat was full. Henri is a sane coward. His male
instinct prefefred to take its lone chance outside.
Hardly were the old thing's skinny legs hidden by the
gunwale when the ropes began to strain on their davits
and run out. They ran out, but they ran wrong.
First one rattled free, so that the boat was all down
in her stern, then the front jerked even, pitching its
occupants topsy-turvy. Then both ripped along to-
gether. The crew seemed absolutely unable to hold
her weight back. Tarred hands hung on till the ropes
2i8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
burnt, till they lost control of her altogether. The
big boat, loaded to capacity, hit a mounting swell ker-
flop and keeled over.
Those of us left on deck breathed soft prayers of
pity prayers for ourselves inclusive. The man who
had been mauled out of her commenced to cry child-
ishly. I lie awake nights now when I think of that
scene, but at the moment it struck me like a moving
picture. I blessed the darkness in the house half hid-
ing it. Hands and arms and legs all flounced in the
sea together, trying to get themselves righted and not
considering anybody else's chance till they made good
on their own. Some were content to hang to the boat,
while others fought to climb on top; and one fierce,
crazy vampire mounted astride her keel worked like
a nailer shoving the rest off. De Grasse and his gang
stripped me stark of confidence, but I've still enough
faith in human nature to believe she thought, in her
blind confusion, she was helping to save souls.
I gazed down thrilled and fascinated, not realizing
the truth of their being alive. All the time my eyes
subconsciously hunted for Jezebel's gray thatch but
never glimpsed it. She must have gone down like a
bullet, unable to take her own part, doomed by the
excess of her numbing fear.
By and by, it seemed hours but may have been a
couple of minutes, a man passed me. Folks had all
moved along by then, storming the remaining boats,
and this fellow was so struck by my standing there,
watching, when I had every chance of shooting to de-
struction myself next thing, that he pulled up short.
" Aren't you thinking about saving yourself? "
" See what comes of trying! "
WITS AND THE WOMAN 219
His glance followed my pointing arm. The wick-
edness of their fight had ceased. Most of the feeble
were gone for good dramas of life and death in
an ice-cold sea move quickly. The upturned boat
wasn't any worse to look on now than panic-torn
groups to right or left.
" Bad management. Nothing in order. Inexcus-
able but it's always the same."
" I think the officers are mighty cool and collected."
" It looks as if our future destinations depended en-
tirely on our past lives."
That was my cue for a stare. The idea of any one
being able to josh at such a time, and standing himself
in the very same make of shoes. Perhaps, though, it
was nerves. I recollected nerves acted odd in certain
constitutions. His bulky shoulders hunched beside
me, glooming through blackish dawn, appeared to be
quite controlled almost at ease. And his next sen-
tence gave the lie to fright.
" You talk more like a man than a woman. If
you're not hysterical, come along with me, and we'll
have a try for a whole skin anyway. Up there, be-
hind the bridge, is a pile of rafts. I've smoked on them
every evening. Not a soul thinks of those rafts
and wouldn't go for them if they did. They're clean
daft scared of the fire packing aft as tight as
sardines." He paused to eye the listing deck.
" The Carbothia '11 sink before she burns. We can
sit still on our perch and the waves will wash us off
as she settles."
His crisp assurance carried hope with it. For the
first time I felt a wild desire to live. I grasped the
probability of coming through alive; as he fed it to
220 WITS AND THE WOMAN
me, and joy must have brightened my countenance.
The man smiled.
" You'll do," he commented. " Up the bridge lad-
der nothing's forbidden now ! "
\Ve turned our backs on the tortured mob and scur-
ried aloft. The captain, who stood at his post
grown an old man in ten minutes saw what we were
after and nodded approval.
" I wish the people had more horse sense."
It was then he told us about the coal, ending with
reassurance.
" The water has put out the fire already, and the
pumps are working have been right along. They'll
keep her afloat for a margin of time. We have been
in close communication with other vessels during the
last three days. Their ear is open for our S. O. S.
If you can manage to hang on to your raft help won't
be long coming.
" I wish you luck," he added. And we would have
wished him the same but his face forbade it.
My heart sank when I saw the unwieldy thing
a straw between us and destruction. But I turned in
vigorously to help free her. And once she was loose
we sat down side by side.
" Look around now for the best hold you can get,
for you'll need it when the swirl comes."
We picked and planned against the deluge, and then
sat erect, our hands firmly clasped together; for, al-
though he was a stranger, that childish attitude brought
me into touch with human strength. I badly needed
bucking up. The man neither by word nor glance
gave hint of fear. His attitude was not whistling to
WITS AND THE WOMAN 221
keep his courage alive. He simply did not concede
the desperateness of our straits.
" Are you a Christian Scientist ? " I asked, suddenly
overcome by an idea that he must be pretending. No
person could actually feel unafraid!
He laughed. " C. S. doesn't interest me any more
than Ibsen interests me. Man's brain's a dynamo of
power all the same. Send out your signals the way
you want facts to hang. Be practical in emergency.
If mind doesn't control matter, it at least controls other
minds. See what comes of letting imagination
sparkle as you told me."
He indicated the tempest below. We got a bird's-
eye view of the scene, and a notion of our own position.
The ship was listing something awful.
" We might fancy ourselves sitting in two deck
chairs," I said. " Only the vessel doesn't rock up
again."
" That's better ! I knew you were plucky. Now
give over worrying about the passengers. Remember
those who ought to be saved will be saved. Forget
them and think entirely about us."
Henri de Grasse was fired with kindling joy in this
man's mood, but it rather appalled Clarissa. How
cruel he could be how ruthless evolving his doc-
trine of SELF! As if to contradict my unexpressed
doubt, he asked kindly :
"You're not afraid of the water?"
"Afraid! I'm shivering in my shoes. I'm shiver-
ing literally and figuratively. But I can swim. Can
you?"
" Swimming's my second name. My last is Duffy.
222 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Constant effort of little Willie my first name's Wil-
liam to keep it from being spelt with a final r."
" Oh," I said, nonplussed.
He waited expectantly.
" I should think you'd succeed." It was a lame fin-
ish, but he forgave the pause.
" You bet ! I always succeed. Nothing succeeds
like success. Maybe you fancy it's late for introduc-
tions, and that names don't count here. Stop think-
ing you never can tell, anyway. There's a whole
lot in names. I don't know yours. I figured the list
out but you haven't been on deck. Where have you
kept yourself hidden? If I'd seen you about, we'd
have become acquainted earlier. I always know what
I want."
The man's cheek stunned me, but I was cool enough
now to diagnose the symptoms. " He's overdoing
nerve," I thought, " that's it. Playing for self-control
and sane action when the test comes." With Henri
admiring him so much I couldn't absolutely freeze,
and besides I found a sort of reflex dare-devilish
bravery springing from his attitude.
" I've been in bed most of the time."
" Sick ! On a flat voyage ! You don't look it
why nobody's been sick! This is some cure for sea-
sickness ! "
I disliked his scoffing disliked the threatened
cross-examination, and to avoid it said, q -'ckly,
"What's become of Gower?"
"Golden Gizzard! Do you know him?" He
queried, a new note in his voice.
" Yes."
There was a pause. With Duffy's next remark his
WITS AND THE WOMAN 223
tone changed again. Its sharp penetrating alertness
had melted to tentative suggestion. Nothing definite,
yet enough to rile me.
" He has a girl along."
" Indeed. I have not spoken to Mr. Gower on the
trip," I answered frigidly.
" My mistake."
I felt we were drifting apart far, far apart, al-
though our fingers intertwined. A sense of loss, terri-
ble and tragic, overwhelmed me. If the crazy, im-
pudent human comforter failed, where would I be?
How would I come through alone? Alone! Why
once the ship sank, if our raft survived, the entire fran-
tic pack below, whose crying we heeded now no more
than the din of a distant elevated, would be on our
backs, desperate to crowd us from our few feet of
well-earned safety. I remembered the witch astride
a keel working to shove others off. Terror surged in
me. I clung to Duffy. I lifted my eyes to heaven
appealing to Something somewhere in the universe
a Something all powerful and steady. Low on the
horizon lay a shaft of chill, pale yellow, outlining an
ocean undulant and gray. My eyes swept the world
claiming help, hope, to face the nightmare death. And
as I looked, suddenly the sun's rim sprang above that
steely girdle flooding the mad scene in ruddy beams.
I turned to my companion. I saw him for the first
time. ilj
He was less than thirty and splendidly built, wear-
ing only a blue coat and trousers, without collar or
polite embellishment almost a bathing suit effect.
Clear gray eyes gazed level into mine, and his hair
rose straight on end from a high, flat brow.
224 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Hello ! " I cried, surprised out of my hereafter
mood. " Didn't you race a black speedboat off the
Jersey coast last summer? "
"Tried to, yes. How do you know about it?"
" I was at the wheel. That's the only craft she ever
saw the heels of."
" Quitter! " he jeered, with a flash of memory mak-
ing de Grasse bow down and worship.
" And she wouldn't have seen yours," I blazed, " if
my man had done as he was told."
Duffy laughed, revealing perfect teeth, even, strong,
white, cruel I noted them, thinking of his preach-
ment, and observed the calculating satisfaction which
overspread his features.
" A great day ! I admired the young lady more
than I can tell or I wouldn't have invited her to
lunch I never waste myself. I feel sure a girl like
her can come out of this little affair O. K. If she
does if we do will you promise to give me
another chance in a longer race?"
" You don't waste time either, do you? "
" I always know what I want the minute I see it.
And as for wasting opportunity wasting anything.
What's the use?"
Again I gazed open mouthed. What was the man's
game? Was he having a frolic with me, a blasphe-
mous, exciting frolic in words to hold our hearts steady
amid the weltering flood now rising swiftly? Pride
forbade me to miss a trick.
" What's the use of proposing to a woman that's all
aboard for kingdom come?" I gulped. The water
was beginning to lick my feet. Cold feet ! Gee !
" You don't believe you are going to die," he replied
WITS AND THE WOMAN 225
firmly. " And I only ask for a chance. Will you ? "
He shook free of my hand clasp and clutched the raft
as a big wave mounted. " Will you ? "
"Yes! Ouch!" A ravenous lump of fluid ice
poured round me. " What do we do next? " I gasped.
" Sit tight and hang on ! " He did not offer to
weaken his own position by lending a helping hand.
The raft lay on a horrible incline. It was all we
could do to cling to her. Then quite unexpectedly she
began to regain equilibrium, to float off. The waves
caught her, raised her and washed her clear of the
ship.
" Worked. Didn't it? " the man shouted.
We filled our lungs with a great breath and hugged
the planks while amid a perfect turmoil of waters the
old Carbothia sank. Were we unconscious or only lost
momentarily in a strange world of spars and fishes?
The raft whirled dizzily, was sucked under, thrown
up again, tipped and bucked and twisted, but with an
oiliness of motion that failed to break our death grip.
In the end I was amazed to find myself alive and un-
harmed, lying face to the boards, as our raft lay on
the bosom of the swell.
I sat up and gazed around. The sea looked so
empty! The sky was blotched with a huge present-
ment of Henri's winged snake, and schools of young
galoshes swam in azure blue. Onslaught from behind
made me collect my wits. The whole ocean seemed
alive, swarming with would be destroyers. We
hadn't expected to hog our safe quarters, but we did
intend to keep afloat, and I knew now the necessity was
going to call for moral courage of another brand.
Women and children clung to us what's to be done
226 WITS AND THE WOMAN
with women and children? We hauled some of them
up. More scrambled on of their own liberty. Men
came too, rough seamen. Very soon I needed both
hands to prevent being divorced from my rightful her-
itage. The raft groaned and creaked, threatening to
go to pieces. She began to founder. Duffy pushed
a couple of men off and then decided to quit himself.
But first he made us an astonishingly characteristic
speech.
" I'm going to leave this life station to you women.
Remember, she's got all she can carry. I was first
on here, and I've a permit to stay ; but I'm leaving so
she'll be a bit lighter. Don't get soft-hearted, any of
you. If other folks come hanging on to your edges,
shove them off quick. Understand ? Quick ! Be-
fore they get a good hold. Those that ought to be
saved will be saved. It's better for the raft to float
with a few than founder and lose the bunch. Good-by,
for a while."
I knew he was talking at me all through, even be-
fore he added,
" Don't forget your promise. Au revoir."
He slid into the water and swam with the ease of
a fish to a nearby, substantial looking piece of wreck-
age. Some current carried it away from us. I
watched him drifting till his head was no larger than
a pea.
During the next three hours our load eased up con-
siderably. Lots of women couldn't stand the chill.
We'd see them hanging on one minute and their space
would be empty a second later. I was pretty well all
in myself before help arrived. I was sogged through
with cold, cramp fairly twisted my bones, and the
WITS AND THE WOMAN 227
loneliness drove me dippy. Lonesome! I can't de-
scribe it! Nothing but sky and waves and ourselves
hemmed in by water and clouds. Occasionally we'd
get a glimpse of one of the boats away beyond. But
floating so low there, level with the sea, it was useless
to try to make signals. We just had to abide quiet and
wait to be picked up.
CHAPTER XX
Clarissa's earliest clear impression of being rescued,
was lying snug in a woolly blanket in somebody's
berth ; and hearing a strange doctor say to a strange at-
tendant,
" She'll do very well now."
I didn't bother to speak. I gave them the glad eye
for a minute and sank immediately unconscious again
this time into sleep.
The next thing I knew I was wide awake, sitting bolt
upright, clamoring for food.
Soup and a ship's officer came along together. Per-
haps it was haste, the pressure of contemporaneous
events which led me into crime the fall itself smacks
of de Grasse anyway, they wanted my name and all
that facts, facts, and the heathen starving ! Be-
tween mouthfuls I bit back " Kendall " on an honest
tongue. Von Rathgartz sprang to my lips, and with-
out a pause to reckon cost or privilege, I opened up
and let her fly. A serious minded man wrote the title
in a serious list of survivors I had burnt my bridges !
Of course I carried the old woman's papers, and
there wasn't a scrap, not even a name in the passenger
list, to prove anything on Mrs. Brown. I allowed her
therefore and from henceforth to fade into black obliv-
ion one more victim of a noble wreck.
Prevarication sat lightly upon me. I was feeling
fine, delighted to hear we had sailed into the Thames,
228
WITS AND THE WOMAN 229
and all agog to go on deck. The Roman nosed matron,
however, whose bunk I filled, received this suggestion
with a wide bias of disapproval ; stating positively that
my clothes weren't fit.
I laughed. " You can't expect to be tailor's model
after your coat has soaked in brine and dried in the
boiler room."
But she was adamant ; and as there are worse things
than a mother's touch after battle, fire and sudden
death, I remained cheerfully in seclusion, awake all
night, counting the sights I could see through my port-
hole.
My newly adopted proved so strong on propriety
and so weak where it came to preferring herself be-
fore others notably me I was thoroughly amused
as well as bemused. I failed to get her measure at all,
till she brought her daughters, weedy girls in blue serge,
to be presented to the Baroness.
Gosh! Other people were going to make me live
up to that title!
" You've been and gone and done it, Clarissa," I told
myself. " Absconding like a queen of melodrama,
with the spotlight turned upon your exit. Hasn't
Henri warned you many times and oft? Didn't faith-
ful Tom lead you gently to the fountain head of lost
identity? Recollect his words. ' Safest name on
earth drab as a city sparrow. Wise guys picking it
up in a register pass the wink but at the same time
there's the ghost of a chance of having been born
Brown.' Apologies, Tom. You can sure lead a don-
key to the trough, but you can't make her learn."
From my inside knowledge I judged the original Bar-
oness might have been fleeing too, and I panted to read
230 WITS AND THE WOMAN
her private correspondence. My plans were vague but
comprehensive. First to know where the old lady had
been expected and then to travel in a far direction.
For the moment even so much was held in abeyance.
Mrs. Higsbie had given my pocketbook to the purser,
so she said, and no amount of pleasant asking egged
her up to getting it again. Confusion bore the blame,
but I verily believe she held it back as a guarantee of
chaperoning me on shore and thus cementing social
friendship; her imagination grasped tenaciously the
God-given chance everything else would be accord-
ing to my least suggestion, as became a High-and-
Mightiness. Therefore the excellent lady removed my
valuables with one hand and offered me her best boots
with her other. I had no choice but surrender. Shoes
on my feet might lead to a noose about my neck a
Baroness in stockings was ridiculous.
Three items stand to my London credit. I examined
the von Rathgartz papers, wrote a bulletin to date for
Howard, clearing Angelica and exonerating the classic
name of Griggs, and bought rubber. The boom was
nearing its zenith. Sitting in a brokers office watch-
ing yourself grow richer by hundreds of pounds every
hour is some fun Henri thought so ! We went batty
about rubber. I cabled Swanhill to sell railway and
steel stock, and we bought our beans off.
That's about all I saw of the smoky city. We car-
ried away a very happy impression, but, nevertheless,
it's Paris for mine! Her lure got me in Bain & Ding-
ley's. Every girl behind a counter sees golden halos
ringing the magic word. Most of them would have
called it a toss between Paris and heaven with long
odds on Paris as a temporary choice.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 231
Considering the way we fitted in, Henri must have
spent a lot of time and money in the French capital
previous to my acquaintance. For a week he let me
riot, then tired of dissipation, we shut our purses,
opened our eyes, and I really began to enjoy the place.
" Whence her charm? " I asked myself. " Our shops
are as smart and larger; our women are as beautiful
and larger also; our traffic is as congested and noisier;
our opera as excellent and more expensive ; our every-
thing much, oh, much more expensive yet we don't
get the rhythm." In the end I answered with a truism
Paris is inhabited by Frenchmen. Music throbs in
a Frenchman's pulse, gaiety twitches his toes Henri's
twitched me through some odd corners out of sym-
pathy, but he surprised me so much in other matters he
selected to enjoy such as picture shows I forgave
him all past issues.
I couldn't guess whether my second was lying low
for more mischief, or, now that he had money to burn,
would be content with living as a gentleman. The un-
timely end of the Baroness von Rathgartz had taken a
reef in our vengeance. De Grasse had been wildly ex-
cited over the idea of reading her papers; at least I
blamed it on him, but maybe I'm the romantic chump.
Anyway somebody worked us into a fine heat about
nothing for that's what it proved to be the key, a
letter of credit, and a bunch of family documents.
The old sinner was far too cute to commit herself in
black and white. And I decided to take a leaf out of
her book. The papers which were of an intricate char-
acter proved a dozen living interests, and with them
was one sheet closely written in Yiddish. Not daring
to have it translated, I regarded the latter as an inno-
232 WITS AND THE WOMAN
cent person might look on the outside of a time-bomb,
not knowing whether it was set ; and, when the chance
offered, I threw the whole lot into the Channel. Let
her affairs drown with her their proximity made me
jumpy. By way of souvenir I kept the key and the
old woman's words reverberating in my ears. A Fritz,
a Schlossgartz, and a little gray dispatch box existed
somewhere but Henri didn't show the slightest in-
terest.
Instead of ramping off on this fresh trail, de Grasse
seemed bent on offering himself as a sacrifice; he laid
himself out to perfect me. We went to the corsetiere's
together, we progressed from shop to shop I was
never so happy before. We studied the thing at hand
and improved upon it ; our equipage began to occasion
remark. Then he whispered in my ear the necessity
of a maid.
" Nothing doing," I said. " You ought to know I
don't like being pawed over."
" You have never been touched by experienced hands
ah, exquisite ! There is just the person "
"Shut up!"
It beats the Dutch how, if you ever start talking about
a luxury, some darned fool extravagance you don't half
want, that thing will nag at you until it grows to be a
vital need. Henri commenced to point out the differ-
ence between my hair and the heads surrounding us at
the opera. I capitulated, and I must confess, though I
did pretty well in hats, the smartest of all my invest-
ments in Paris was Annette small, dark, distract-
ingly lovely, and as dishonest as it is possible to be and
keep out of prison. Adopting an orphan from the
WITS AND THE WOMAN 233
Carbothia would have been play compared to under-
taking such a spark.
From the moment her trim high-heeled shoe stepped
over the threshold she became my cricket on the hearth.
Bright eyes, light words, coquetry and grace awaited
Madame's coming. She was equally happy to occupy
the front seat of the touring car, or to walk a couple of
paces in the rear exercising Mimi-Frou-Frou, the latest
addition to our family. And the way that girl made
me look the way she turned me out ! I had simply
never been dressed before, my clothes had been pitch-
forked into place. She grafted more distinction on to
me in five days than I could have achieved alone in as
many centuries. If you want to be a perfect lady, get
a perfect maid.
Everything was running on ball bearings till one
morning I dashed into the salon, and discovered the
beautiful creature in the arms of the valet de chambre.
Of course, it was my fault, as she tactfully explained; I
should have given her warning. All the jealousy
Henri is capable of rushed to my temples. I stormed
I reproved, while Annette continued to look plain-
tive, thoroughly satisfied with herself and her late posi-
tion : " What would I wish hein? "
De Grasse wished but one thing to separate her
from the valet. We moved and peace reigned for the
moment.
Unfortunately the night clerk was a personable
young man with too many daylight hours hanging idle
on his hands. We changed our address again. Next
time it was the waiter who mounted my little breakfast.
Fearing the first class hotels wouldn't be numerous
234 WITS AND THE WOMAN
enough to stand the racket I grew crafty. I left doors
ajar, I pounced upon her in unexpected places. And
for my pains I learned Annette's waking hours were
one triumphal progress of flirtation. She flirted with
my chauffeur, a respectable married man; she flirted
with the footman till I fired him. She made eyes at
the proprietor and caressed the bell-boys. She lingered
before the statue of Apollo, admired the dummies in a
tailor's window, and even tried to cajole Le Pcnseur.
There was nothing for it we must leave Paris. The
idea of giving up Annette never entered my head, so I
arranged to take the night train south.
My maid was delighted. Her last mistress had win-
tered at Nice. " Ah ! It was such a beauti f ul place,
Nice ! Would Madame expect her to travel second ? "
No. Madame wouldn't. " You're bunking right
alongside me, Annette, and with the doors open so I
can keep my eye on you."
" Excellent, Madame."
CHAPTER XXI
From the day Charley Ross paid me over my share
of the Lelland purchase, I had felt a sneaking desire to
go to Monte Carlo; and now, although the labels on
our fifty trunks advertised Menton, I knew without
asking where we would alight. The thought of bac-
carat was to de Grasse like a red rag to a bull, or male
attire to Annette, so scenting the battle from afar we
landed in the gambler's heaven.
Never having seen any tropics, except New York in
summer, Monaco thrilled me. I adored the blueness of
the blue and the greenness of the greenery. And say !
It's some town for spending money ! Only the cream
de cream in the shops not a scallop, not a button, not
a shade but makes one's teeth water. A f ter a dull win-
ter in the north, color and light went to my head. I
wallowed by day, and Henri wallowed at night, spurred
on by a persistent run of luck. We broke about even.
Every centime flowing in to him across the tables
flowed back to doll the Baroness !
Position, easy money, and Annette's finish on the
article introduced me to the limelight. I was talked of
my aura permeated soon I found myself in a de-
lightful eddy with a lively group supporting a certain
Mrs. Sue Mainardy and Sue's husband Americans
living abroad, Baltimore originally, but now nearly
Europeanized. I liked them, man and woman, as well
235
236 WITS AND THE WOMAN
as any harnessed team I've ever met. Their long suit
was low voices, elegant manners, and any amount of
sophistication. But a blue-eyed kid niece gave her
elders away right and left. She was a riot, and Henri
and I loved her. We loved them all.
One evening, the Mainardys and our bunch had ven-
tured their last louis and were fixing to depart. Very
late it was, already play had stopped except on the
table by which we stood. All at once the doors opened
impressively from without. An amazed few of us
turned to see who came so late. The instant's expecta-
tion needed only an event to make it most dramatic,
and then, as if to crystallize the moment, a voice called
boldly from the threshold,
"Banquet "
" Est-il possible? Ccs Amcricalns!" murmured a
princeling, while I stood staring at the new comers,
open mouthed.
The taller gave one an impression of a walking skele-
ton. He must have been near seventy. Excessively
smart clothes contrived to hang loosely over his bony
frame without sacrificing a jot of style. He carried
himself very erect, but his cheeks sagged, and the flesh
wrinkled at his Adam's apple. He wore a monocle,
grimly refused to acknowledge the claims of a gouty
foot, and twisted the long ends of his moustaches with
crumpled fingers. I don't believe I ever saw him
and I learned enough of him later, heaven witness
when he wasn't nervously twirling or twisting some-
thing. From watery eyes half hidden under heavy
lids, this old fossil regarded the room with cold, ironical
humor.
His companion the man who had called banque,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 237
thereby taking to himself without inquiry the full
chances of the table was William Duffy.
He made directly toward me, hands extended like a
bosom friend, and his voice which had boomed above
the waters, fairly bellowed in the spacious chamber.
" Well met ! Well met ! Little Willie had a notion
we might run across each other hereabouts. Mark it !
I'm never wrong. But I've been to America and
back since parting. Not my fault. They just took
me. What did I tell you? Those that ought to be
saved will be saved in spite of themselves, ha, ha !
Much gold wouldn't turn her face towards Mecca, so I
looped the loop to Jersey, and once on Uncle Sam's
sod, business nailed me. That's why I haven't yet
handed in my card for entry." He glanced at the men
assembled. " I do it now though on the minute.
This race looks like crowding at the post. Ha, ha ! "
I was overwhelmed with embarrassment. What
would Sue Mainardy think of such a rank home prod-
uct? What would she think of me? At least he rep-
resented her America as much as mine! It was up
to her to help. I hadn't a ghost of a chance to cut
Duffy. He was too darned sure of himself. His en-
trance had made an impression, and his jubilance
rather took. Everybody turned to watch. Moreover
he was keeping the game waiting.
" I'm no quitter, you'll find out. And I've a long
start on some eh ? No time for fooling at that !
Precious lucky we dropped in here to-night. We
might have missed you. My chum said it was too
late, but I said, ' Not a bit of it. Get into your glad
rags and hop along,' and here we are. We'd just
arrived from Genoa by motor, and my friend "
238 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Remembering the claims of comradeship, he nipped his
story in the bud. " Where is he? Ah, let me pre-
sent my friend! Shake hands with the Baron von
Rathgartz."
********
The stars are what I saw !
Duffy loved a title. His clear utterances sent
" Baron " ringing to the rafters; and from an immense
distance I heard it thrown back. Sound rained upon
me, crashing in the ruins of my house of glass.
The aristocrat folded himself over in a low obeisance,
and chattering teeth hummed an accompaniment to my
stunned salute.
Was this her husband? MY HUSBAND?
Crude instinct bade me fly vanish skidoo. I
cared not whither through the floor or upward. All
routes looked alike and welcome. I reckoned time and
distance for a sprint to the door, and our relative strate-
gic positions. While I was thus mentally engaged,
reason flashed me her S. O. S. Duffy didn't know my
name! In spite of blatant fellowship, he knew no
designation for me real or false. His opening imper-
tinence remained unanswered, thanks to Tom, and I
had not told him when he hinted on the raft. The
odds were all against his having found opportunity,
amid the hammer strokes of business in America, to
look me up. My plight, therefore, became a question
of skating over thin ice. It was a delicate situation in-
deed one to be carried by cool nerve. With alert-
ness and ready turns of phrase, giving the Baron no
chance to put in an oar, I might get the introduction
over, make them all acquainted with each other, and
make good my escape. We need not meet again. Set-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 239
tling with Sue and society would be a good twelve-
baskets full left from this little love feast, but once out
of here the fragments would at least lie scattered.
Sheer relief at this remembrance bowed my lips and
sent loud laughter reverberating through the room.
Sue started. Duffy beamed. My mirth rang hollow
death blows on good taste, but noise assured him of a
conquest.
Thought moves quicker than a clock-tick. After
these mental gymnastics I opened my mouth to continue
the proceedings hitchless and shut it again. For at
that minute, the kid's voice, youthfully raw, treacher-
ously keen, rising like a boy soprano's high above the
limit of suppression, sang a tardy echo of the stranger's
final word.
" Von Rathgartz ! Baron von Rathgartz ? Say !
She's the Baroness von Rathgartz. They must be mar-
ried!"
In the profound hush following, the monocle of my
aristocratic spouse was heard to clatter on his waistcoat
buttons. Surprise had twitched it from its socket, but
with admirable presence of mind he let her swing, pre-
tending to have shed the bauble by an act of will, and
dropped his eyelids ambushing expression.
I drew my chin to the fighting level. One way of
showing fear if they had known, but indignation
seemed more meet. My impulse passed for hauteur.
It worked havoc with the old boy. Smiting his hand
hard where anything but a skeleton would have had a
stomach he doubled in a spasm, a record-breaking bow,
murmuring of " the honor."
" A landslide! " chirped the matchmaker.
" An uncommon name," somebody suggested.
240 WITS AND THE WOMAN
The Baron bowed again. " Most uncommon," he
answered in excellent English. " Madame and I are
the last of the line."
How much did the inclusion indicate ? " Oh, why
in a city of forty-five million, oh, why do you pick upon
me?" I whistled the air between clenched teeth. No,
I couldn't have whistled that air because it wasn't writ-
ten then, but I whistled the miserable idea, while his
Nibs regarded me with knife-blade penetration.
He was manager. He was handing out the parts
roling the cast in topsy-turvydom. I realized he
spotted me for an impostor, and he knew that I knew
he knew. The fear of his breaking loose, doing or
saying something to give me dead away, had passed.
I saw he was a different type. A man rooted and
grounded in forms and ceremonies not one to make
a scene, nor one to leap before looking. Up to the
present he had neither acknowledged nor denied me.
And I felt sure he would avoid the issue until he be-
came perfectly certain on which side his greatest ad-
vantage lay.
Assured the lion wasn't crouched to leap, I instantly
became aware of pussy's claws. The Mainardys had
faded to a safe and inconspicuous distance. My
Princeling suitor, endeavoring to gather penciled eye-
brows across a stormy front in dreadful anger, was so
preoccupied with the part he forgot me. Duffy had
already joined the tables, and the Terror, highly satis-
fied with her recent discovery, had followed to watch
his luck. So long as that determined young person
stayed we were bound to chaperone at least Sue was,
and I wouldn't quit till my cue. I was equally scared
to show fright by running away, and scared to linger
WITS AND THE WOMAN 241
on. Small fry talked to me, sifted through and joined
the Baron. No one seemed anxious to mark our sepa-
ration openly, nor yet at ease while including both of us
in the same pocket of conversation. Evidently he and
I had quarrelled. We were mismated; we were sur-
prised to meet they drew their own conclusions.
Imagination outran facts, and cackle grew desultory.
In spurts wit lashed itself to frenzied nothings. But
when the game broke up, and Duffy's boom arrested
everybody's speech, men and women expanded their
stays with a huge sigh of relief.
William W r atson had won, and true to his country's
form desired to put up the drinks. He must treat.
Natural crassness fired by success helped him to knock
out such little obstacles as other people's mental com-
fort on the first round, as though he had been swatting
flies. He must treat ! Yes. Yes ! He must treat the
whole crowd! We must drink our safe preservation
his and mine. He commenced to tell the story of
the wreck, and interrupted it to form his party. We
must drink his winning! Not to celebrate success
would foul the luck to-morrow. There was no gain-
saying the man.
Personally I trembled to refuse and perhaps put the
Baron's back up. Sue had tried to pry her responsi-
bility loose and failed. The kid stuck a hand under
Duffy's arm, and his closed over it. Hangers-on, of
both sexes, watched the cat jump with satisfaction,
glad to get a supper at anybody's expense..
We were no sooner in the restaurant than a game of
tag began around the table. Duffy wanted a place by
me. Grass-widowhood, or divorce, or genteel indif-
ference however you figure the von Rathgartz family
242 WITS AND THE WOMAN
situation didn't phase him not a little bit. The
Kid had gone dippy about William Watson and showed
it, stalking his every motion. Principality and Power,
represented by the fair and perfumed males, always
fought over Clarissa ; and she in turn was actuated by a
single thought to camp beside Sue's precious squab
and kick her young shins black and purple at her first
hint of springing any more matrimonial agency stuff.
A man ought to know his limit. Duffy had calcu-
lated his early in life, and not yet reached it. Along
the lines of giving a dog his due he can reap special
bouquets for carrying that party on the crest of a tidal
wave. If noise is any symptom of joy, our spirits
touched delirium. The Baron devoted himself to Mrs.
Mainardy. Common decency had placed us far
asunder, opposite in fact, and each time I chanced to
glance that way, I caught the face of his monocle glar-
ing at me. Perhaps it was only a trick in reflected
rays, but it looked mighty like the evil eye. I shud-
dered. He was so concrete, so indisputable, so much
cock of the walk. I felt myself shrinking visibly. My
courage oozed, the shoes pinched. I'd eaten my cake
and was about to experience the consequences, and,
like Alice, I longed to cry.
Von Rathgartz sat amid the maze of tinkling bril-
liancy devouring food and considering me off hand, as
a big, black, leggy spider might king it in his web, say-
ing to the insect already caught, " Stay put, nice little
juicy fellow. I'll have plenty of time to attend to you
later."
That wasn't the phrase he entangled me with when
the party dissolved but it may as well have been.
He was the first to go and made his bow before two
WITS AND THE WOMAN 243
dozen searching eyes. What choice had I, but acquies-
cence to his purred request.
" Madame will grant me the family privilege of call-
ing?"
Noncommittal ! Yes. And not a touch of supplica-
tion in the asking. His tone was neither more nor less
than a pleasant statement of fact. All very polished
and agreeable, till one caught the smug grin stretched
tight-lipped upon a smoker's teeth, half hidden by his
drooped moustache.
CHAPTER XXII
I beat it to my own room and threw myself across
the bed, soul sick in consternation.
"Family privilege of calling!" How about it?
What in thunder was the old chap's game? To pass
me as his wife? Ridiculous! Through claim of kin-
ship to draw down the ready? It must be money, but
how could a stranger know my circumstances. Ah!
Was the man a stranger? Why had he come and
where had he bagged Duffy ? William Watson showed
all the earmarks of an easy capture. He fell-in for the
asking, but the other walked with circumspection and
design. Was he the big stick in Samuel Jacobs's hand ?
If so, I risked my neck by staying. Suppose I left sud-
denly now between two days ? But where would
I go ? What sanctuary offered for a fool adventuress
masquerading under stolen honors? Was ever any
woman thing in such a mess ! And in Monaco
where even suicide is counted as an incident !
If the Baron was Jacobs's man, he would weasel me
out, run me to earth in every port as he had holed me
here; and doubtless he would blast my reputation first
among my friends. A false name is a bad affair but
oh, you little title! It had not been my intention to
collar social prestige under wrong pretenses I had
.passed as a huge joke to myself but who would be-
lieve me? Not the sophisticated, world-wise Main-
ardys.
244
WITS AND THE WOMAN 245
What crazy gain had Henri hoped to win by snatch-
ing that old crook's identity? And why, if I kept her
name, hadn't I held on to her papers ? The Baron had
something on me sure ; with that yellow sheet to hold
above his head I might have had something on him.
I suddenly sat erect.
"Fritz" was his name Fritz? and " Schloss-
gartz ! " Memory turned on a great white light ; my
imagination flamed over the past and future. I sprang
off the bed, fumbled for my jewel case, and made cer-
tain the little key was safe. The key to the actual box
in the actual castle the key to their secret. But was
it his secret? Had it anything to do with him?
Who knew ? I didn't believe that it had anything to
do with Jacobs. This was another family privilege,
and was I going to throw the chance away on account
of cold feet. Going to run from a man of whom I
knew nothing except that he had acted with great cir-
cumspection under amazing circumstances.
I laughed at Caution whispering he might well be
Jacobs's agent, as his wife had been, and rang for
Annette.
Of one thing I was certain, the Baron was a baron.
He had been received as an habitue and folks here
knew the Almanac de Gotha like a traffic cop.
Noon brought reassurance and a morning head. I
determined to hug my rooms till the monster should ar-
rive. If the old grandee was a crook, he would pretty
surely have a vulnerable spot around his pocket ; travel-
ing with a spender such as William Watson bespoke
the indigent or miserly and if he was not, it seemed
the cards were all in my hand. Having made up my
mind, the opera-bouffe might cost me heavily in riches
246 WITS AND THE WOMAN
or reputation, I was determined to see it through, and
proceeded to copy the score, and mail the same to How-
ard Griggs, while I waited.
" The brother of Madame, doubtless? " Annette sug-
gested, presenting the Baron's card. " Madame does
not resemble him at all except in the good style. Ah, it
was unmistakable Monsieur was of the best society.
But certainment qucl stupide! Monsieur would be
le beau- fr ere de Madame n'est ce pas? "
How stupid I had been not to think of passing for
his sister or his sister-in-law or his daughter. I
received him with a grin !
My visitor stood some six foot two, and every inch
in sjght, from the fairish gray hair combed up to cover
an otherwise bald dome to the square ends of his
French shoes, was spic and span. Aristocracy stuck
out of him in bunches. He was a man of fashion, as
disreputable a fellow, possibly, as ever pinched past the
committee of a gentleman's club but a von Rath-
gartz.
While I was taking him in, I observed sharp glances
burned behind his lidded lamps. Not an item of the
show last night or now my automobile, its liveried
attendants, my salon, maid, clothes, comforts, escaped
the valuation. In spite of his affected indolence, he
was busy summing up. I appeared to be a young thing
rolling in gold, and indiscreet receiving strangers
alone in my own room but that's where judgment
skidded. Well, I knew Annette would be hovering
within call, her ear glued to the keyhole.
My method is to have trouble out and over with. I
held no weapon but the blunt truth, and the blunter the
better for knocking, so I let fly.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 247
" Baron, you ask for the family privilege of calling;
you honor me with an early visit, and yet you are per-
fectly aware that I don't possess the ghost of a right to
use your name. What about it? "
He bowed gravely. " Doubtless Madame has her
reasons for the intrusion. If she wishes to inform
me, I shall consider it a mark of confidence, if not "
He shrugged.
Was ever any one so delicately generous? But his
drawl continued:
" On a certain point I cannot be mistaken. There
sits here by you, positive as death, the last of the von
Rathgartz. Honor depended on that fact a dozen
years ago. The law searched far and wide. We did
not find so much as a natural son of my father."
Mental note : chances of wiggling by as a connection
absolutely nil. Whatever front I hereafter present to
Monaco will be at his dictation. The man's coolness
floored me. I wished he had not talked of " honor "
and the " law," and said " positive as death " as though
referring to a state of mind. I saw I must preserve
the social form alive. The most complimentary
course, under the circumstances, would be to tell him
my story. In his subtle, polite way he had almost de-
manded an explanation a matter of tones, not
phrases, for he spoke volumes in a sentence.
De Grasse is some little speaker too; he can serve a
few mitigating clauses, without the sauce of detail, and
make them a tit-bit to be swallowed by the most fas-
tidious. I dropped my chin and my words came sepa-
rately, slowly, flute notes, pianissimo in shame, and
sweet as honey.
" When young a child I married foolishly.
248 WITS AND THE WOMAN
He called himself the Baron von Rathgartz. There
are many very many impostors in the United
States. He was dashing, generous, well mannered
and I had no one to look after me. Six months later I
discovered he left me but my friends knew noth-
ing. The name alone saved me from disgrace."
Beauty in distress visibly touched my hearer's heart.
His lids drooped lower, tears glistened beneath them.
His voice was myrrh.
" Do not apologize, I pray you. My humble name is
at your service now and always, lovely lady. It is I
who must apologize for not having been in America in-
stead of that worthless dog. And last night in the
Casino surprise took me unawares. I am humor-
ous, and the temptation, I ask you to consider the
temptation to own, for even a few hours, one so per-
fect, beautiful, elegant Ah ! it was not to be resisted,
Madame. Pardon."
I laughed at his rush of words, his profound bow.
After all he seemed a kind old thing. He had not
come to pester me nor armed with a writ for my arrest.
The pendulum swung over. I accepted the blase roue
at the face value of his conversation.
" Referring to your affairs, Madame, I understand.
Each has his own trouble. We will not mention it
again. C'est fini. But that a child, with all this "
motioning airily to include the rooms, " should have no
guardian! Ces Americans! They are incredible."
How easy his manner, how mannerly his ease ! The
terrible plight of my maidenhood was wafted into for-
get fulness. By a gracious turn of phrase he con-
doned me and spread my sin on the nation. And I
was jubilant, poor simp ! I believed he had swallowed
WITS AND THE WOMAN 249
the bait. I felt sure he could not be Jacobs's agent, and
my vanity plunged into the trap.
" We are a bit incredible," I boasted. " But not in
the sense you mean. I was poor when I married.
This is the fruit of honest toil it's mines and rub-
ber."
" Ah ! The Baroness is in rubber ? " he beamed ap-
proval.
" To the neck. Bought at the start and have been
buying all the way along. Honest, I don't even know
how much of the stock I'm good for but she's still
mounting."
My guest shook his head. " Dangerous speculation.
I see you are a gambler. With so much, why do you
not begin to sell ? I would advise, Madame. Brokers
are none too honest, when it's a lady's loss and no
challenger."
" Pistols for two and coffee for one. Great old sys-
tem. What a bloody battle the Exchange would be if
we lived up to it. Since I haven't a living relative to
fight, I guess I'd better unload."
Too late I realized the oily old insinuator's drift. A
girl and her money are soon parted specially if
there's nobody round to raise a row about it. But he
was counting without de Grasse. I smiled.
All in all the Baron proved a very cheerful caller.
He chirped delightfully on almost any topic, steadily
preserving the buoyant action of a thoroughbred.
More and more concern fell from me. He certainly
did not represent the law ; he came with no fell inten-
tion. He came with no intention whatever, it ap-
peared, but to suggest an expedition for the following
morning of course with my friends. If I wanted
250 WITS AND THE WOMAN
to find out the secret of Schlossgartz, there was noth-
ing to do but accept. He set the hour at eleven and
rose to go and on his going dropped a sentence like
a bomb.
" It was divorce I mentioned to Madame Mainardy.
You will pardon, but a plausible relationship was neces-
sary. You were surprised pained at least not
well pleased at the meeting. Divorce is a perfect ex-
planation. Inasmuch as I have wronged this charm-
ing lady, I am in the dust. I promise you I will let
them understand my penitence I only am to blame.
They shall see me grovel."
Now what do you think about that !
The colossal gall dumfounded me, and before I re-
covered from my blank surprise he was gone.
Last night's panic was as child's play to my present
anger. He had told Sue Mainardy a devilish lie had
told it with tears. He had queered me in her eyes by
the readiness of his own confidence. And then he had
called, and been received, and had spent an hour in my
private salon how could I refuse to meet him?
Villain! Thrice damned but, oh, a genius!
Down to the last jot and tittle I would be made to act
the offended wife, and receive his humble attentions.
But why ? Jacobs could not care for such revenge ;
and short of Jacobs what quarrel had the man with
me?
CHAPTER XXIII
Moods were badly mixed from thenceforth, and our
game of tag around the table grew to habit, for Henri's
sporting blood was up. He stayed to fight von Rath-
gartz; the lists were all Monaco; and our public soon
took sides.
Whatever my tormentor said to Sue worked havoc in
her womanly sympathies. Where it had been
" Clarissa," it was now " dear Baroness." An ad-
der's sting! My divorced state she thought ought to
have been mentioned between friends. And quaintly,
and the wonder is sincerely, held to bring about reunion
with my poor, heartbroken, gallant, sorry, fascinating
husband would count a worthy work of supereroga-
tion.
Matchmaking kept her busy those days, for the kid
still haunted Duffy, and our compatriot, who was win-
ning and spending at a terrific rate, so reeked of money
it behooved a wily aunt to put her best foot forward.
His rampant commercialism suggested an office perched
high above the mart of rich Manhattan, as Russians
conjure up the steppes; but William Watson was not
expansive over his own affairs. The savage in him
made no bones of snubbing man, woman or child.
He showed himself coy and disappointed in me. I
believe he despised my situation more than I hated it
myself. A girl who had had the pluck to kick loose
once to let herself be steadily dragged back into the
251
252 WITS AND THE WOMAN
toils? The sight disgusted his blatant independence.
He avoided me, and his cold-shouldering worked the
dickens with my plans. Duffy knew the ins and outs
of the Baron's business and it was far easier to pump
an unsuspecting American, particularly one who dwelt
on castled moats with large enthusiasm, than to trap
von Rathgartz into details. Princelings and popu-
larity tripped me at every move I turned savage
also.
My tempers left the Baron anything but disconcerted.
He sure admired spirit. He courted me so assidu-
ously I never had a minute to myself except asleep.
One afternoon I cajoled Duffy into calling, and over
tea cups planned to win my goal. But scarcely five
minutes after his arrival, before we got the ice well
broken on the how-d'you-dos, the old top pussy- footed
up. Heaven only knows how much he tipped Annette !
At first he worked the deep repentance gag, and later
made it look as if I was encouraging a declaration.
Flowers, flowers all the time! He snowed objections
under offering remarks in public. What had become
of his poor posies? if I did not wear them and
smirks and grimaces if I did. By and by, when every-
body else was aeons old in wisdom, the full farce
dawned upon me. I was being seriously wooed.
Bets were being made. Gee ! How I hated him !
But I was more than ever determined to smoke out the
ground-hog.
In self-defence I commenced to propose wild esca-
pades. Desire for the near impossible, never before
troubling my sober constitution, suddenly broke out
like a rash. I absolutely must do this and that go
here and there anywhere that age should hesitate to
WITS AND THE WOMAN 253
follow. But age never hesitated not for single mo-
ment; it just naturally mixed and coalesced with my
craziest prank. Von Rathgartz set himself to carry
through my every whim, thereby placing a halo of mar-
tyrdom on his thin gray hair; and getting me in all
wrong.
" She's a hard one to follow and the devil to beat ! "
I heard a man remark to Sue Mainardy. Her answer
was the more general and less complimentary view of
our case.
" What a dance she must have led the dear old
chap."
I danced him right enough. I was getting desper-
ate. I fox-trotted him from morn till dewy eve all up
and down the glad Riviera. I dandled him from giddy
heights, I raced with him on shingly stretches. I was
hoyden, termagant, shrew, proud princess, lofty,
stupid, vacant, boring, childish and never made him
turn a hair. Only when I took to gaming, played
steep and kept on playing though every click of the
ivory ball stripped me of thousands did he offer re-
monstrance. And that was a rummy way to make him
wiggle. Danger, fatigue, trouble simply didn't exist
for him where I dictated, and the net result of my
strenuosity was to land us on strange expeditions alone.
The last of these was a donkey ride away up in the
hills above La Turbie. It was a stunning day. The
idea seized me at luncheon, and I threw down my
gauntlet hoping Duffy would snatch it, for some ref-
erences to the Carbothia had got him going nicely. He
did make one convulsive effort, while the Kid gave me
the up and down. * My heart jumped into my mouth
this looked like business. And then Mrs. Mainardy
254 WITS AND THE WOMAN
dusted her voice and reminded dear Dolly that she and
Mr. Duffy had promised to carry a message for her to
the Coalport's villa. Rot! W. W. choked on his
mousse. Sue gave him a blasting glance. He glow-
ered back, caught sight of the Squab who was wearing
filmy white and seemed as innocent as swan's-down, re-
considered the satisfaction of murdering aunty, and
left the jaunt to von Rathgartz and me.
Of course I had to carry the thing through. We
were to motor to La Turbie and my only hope lay in
not finding any donkeys. But no such luck. I craned
my neck at the last corner pretending to be frightfully
keen about them, and then had to burble artificial joy
while the Baron bargained for the two husky beggars
dozing there in the sunshine, fair, fat and fit for a long
trek. The ebullition though insincere affected my
spirits. Altitude, fresh air, sparkling light, a swift
flight in the car, the broad grins of the donkey boy all
combined to jack me up. The Baron, though always
unwelcome, was never unpleasant. He waxed quite
funny on occasion, and was in fine feather to-day. He
threw one leg over the silly critter's back with as much
dignity as if he had been mounting a racer from the
King's stable, and a grand display of humor. I must
own he never allowed himself to play the fool.
Between this and that we made a good start. I had
a sneaking notion we would both enjoy the outing.
It's difficult to nurse antagonism and keep a dour mood
when descending to childish things. Watching the
Baron's feet which almost dragged, and trying to cal-
culate whether, by an effort, he could stand on tip-toe
and let the animal walk out, I found it difficult to credit
him with wickedness. He jollied me, and 1 returned
WITS AND THE WOMAN 255
the challenge. He told funny stories, acting them in
part, till laughter rocked me in the saddle. He
wreathed himself in smiles, and at the sign I recollected
how he played with me for his amusement, and all the
shine went off.
Black thunder wasn't in it with my nastiness. Clar-
issa spiced up pretty well those days. I'd bite the hand
that fed me just as soon as not; and since my keeper
knew it, he let me be, and fell back several paces. So
we mounted slowly.
Silence is golden, says the seer. Von Rathgartz
knew the ring of gold in every language. He kept on
coming sixteen paces back, and gave the tang of lone-
liness a chance to get its work in. The road laps it-
self up and up, back and fore across the front of the
hills like the tail of Henri's snake. By the time we
reached the fork where one branch led to the club, my
temper had toned down. I was ticklish, but bearable.
I hailed him :
" Let's go to that small spot of mountain top com-
pletely surrounded by view, and play the honorable
game."
" Golf? I thought you wanted something infinitely
wilder, more difficult, picturesque, free ! "
" Sea-scape and sky make keeping one's eye on the
ball a million times difficult. Fact is I never succeed."
" Then we won't play," he answered with happy
assurance. " I desire above all else that Madame shall
enjoy herself. What is a game? I forego it with
pleasure." And he commenced to ride away up the
less frequented road leading over the pass.
I was mad. Somehow or other, just on the brink of
adventure, I didn't feel like hills. Of course it wasn't
256 WITS AND THE WOMAN
his fault. I had brought the expedition on my own
head. He was only doing the gentlemanly act in es-
corting a lady whither she wanted to go. But he
needn't be so keen about making me live up to the let-
ter of my idea. Duffy's philosophy jingled in my
brain : Those that ought to be saved will be saved
in spite of themselves. Well, I didn't like " in spite
of." I was tempted to turn my Nanny head to tail
and amble home alone. Second thoughts delayed me.
During the past few days I had learned many points
in my opponent's character. One was that he never
argued. He sacrificed, gallantly, gratuitously, on your
altar the. thing you suggested doing, and went ahead
and carried out his own plans. By this simple means
he avoided the appearance of selfishness. But he was
selfish, clear through from the hide to the backbone!
And he could make himself more offensive in fewer
words than any human being I have ever fallen foul of.
Now how would my dear old beau comport himself, if
peeved? I pondered a full minute and then decided to
hike along. It seemed best to stick the trial out and
jog trot with him till I got a clue. Then me for action.
Gee! What a place that was on the other side of
the first little pass ! And wouldn't it have been the set
for Duffy's confidence ? Little Clarissa is no bum plan-
ner only her plans don't always come off as planned.
The country rolled around us wild and lonely as the sea
and so much of it. I had not dreamed such miles
and miles of mountains divided Monte Carlo from the
provinces. They swelled and billowed northward,
monstrous, deserted, giving neither sign nor sound of
life. I shivered, eyeing the Baron askance, for once we
had gone beyond the sentinel mounds and laid a fold
WITS AND THE WOMAN 257
of the road behind us, I would be as completely shut
away from human aid, as if buried in dungeon depths.
The path soon merged in grassy wilderness. Tilted
grassy slopes surrounded us. An uncouth Gypsy
Italian-looking fellow passed, and was lost beyond a
hill.
"If that's the kind who travel here, then let's go
back ! " I cried. " I've read of brigands and I think
I like them best in books."
" Bah ! Madame need not fear with me. I carry a
revolver always but for such why waste a shot ? "
Von Rathgartz stretched out his long right arm and
it came up like a jointed iron rod. A show of strength
which had the reverse effect from its advertised pur-
pose. Madame immediately began to shake in her
stirrups.
I was determined not to get farther away from the
golf club road than need be, and set myself, without
open contradiction, to combat the old beau's purpose.
So I called a halt and dismounted, complaining of
cramp.
My escort handed me down without demur, and I
stood and raved about the mountains, while that subtle
smile played under his moustache. Three minutes'
spouting emptied the vats of my first enthusiasm. I
had used up every polite adjective in the vocabulary
charming, exquisite, enchanting, attractive, delightful.
While all the time my nerves tingled to yell the one
supreme qualification of the scene LONELY!
Just because I felt isolation, breathed it and,
above all else, feared it, diplomacy kept me babbling
nothings about the heavenly view. I was booked to fill
time by sheer lung power, like blowing up an air cush-
258 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ion. I barked trivialities. I swept the horizon with
eyes fierce for suggestion. I dropped my glance. I
saw growing things little things blades of grass,
and cried eagerly:
"Are there any flowers here mountain flowers?
I've never picked a posy on a pinnacle. What is it
again you call the poets' joy guaranteed to act like
absinthe ? "
As I talked, I walked slowly around searching in the
coarse grass.
The Baron laughed. " Ah, you will look a long
time here and not find edelweiss it is of the Alps.
But we poets do not miss the stars when our sun is
shining."
Ignoring his compliment, I continued to move in
circles ever backward toward the open road. We
made a swell show there among the panoramic hills.
I, the complete product of Annette's skill, turned out as
I had lunched, and not for donkey riding; holding hard
on Nanny's bridle, and stepping lively; and my com-
panion pacing back of me, determined to come even,
but sadly handicapped by a self-willed ass. His mount
wanted to quit our circus procession and study the flora
for himself. Von Rathgartz was obliged to stop and
reason with him, and every time they lingered, I scur-
ried on. Finally, they caught me up. He was close
beside me, and spoke softly.
" La Baronne has flowers at her belt more beautiful
than any ever growing in the mountains. These lilies
of the valley Ah! " The tall old man bent to smell
my bouquet, letting one hand fall upon my arm.
The cheek of it ! I drew away quickly.
" You are unkind, Madame, such a small liberty."
WITS AND THE WOMAN 259
His omission of apology acted on my mood like a
match on a cannon cracker.
" I don't like snakes ! " I cried rashly.
Von Rathgartz's expression clouded, his lip curled.
" You will more probably meet wolves here," he said,
with a sneer.
I regretted my rudeness, and followed in silence as
he strode along. After we had gone a little distance,
he began to speak with a fine dignity.
" Madame, I have sent you flowers twice a day since
the episode of our introduction. I have called on you
as often as propriety allowed. I have made a point of
being always where you were likely to be of meet-
ing you with your friends. They, perhaps, do not ex-
actly understand our position. They do not know
what lies behind. It is immaterial to fool them was
my pleasantry. But you have known, and you must
have understood because I was always everywhere at
your service. In America, as in Europe, such a course
speaks for itself, does it not? "
I did not answer. I was struck all of a heap by his
reference to what lay behind. Was he referring only
to his joke, or could he mean the Baroness and Jacobs?
" These circumstances indicate much in your society,
n'est ce pas? "
11 It means you like me "
" Only so much ? "
He waited for an appreciable length of time, walk-
ing with his chin sunk on his breast, and eyes downcast.
I believe the old Don Juan cared to win me on his
merits. My stolid silence piqued him. He shrugged,
muttered " Helas ! " and stopping, so that we stood face
to face surrounded by our asses, said coldly:
260 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" I am a widower, Mademoiselle. There is no rea-
son why we should not marry."
The tone, more than his words, confirmed my worst
fears, though it needed nothing further than the
changed style of address to show he was up to mis-
chief. Unless he wished me to realize that Jacobs's
confederate had been his wife why put it that way?
My blood ran cold and hot by turns, my tongue stuck to
the roof of my mouth. Never had any spot on earth
seemed so vast so LONELY !
" There is no reason," he repeated, softly now.
" Except that I can't stand you." The very crude-
ness of my answer heightened my anger. I was a bar-
barian. I did not know how to be positive without
being vulgar. And this adroit personality matching
me would steal advantage from every break. He
smiled already with perfect good form, overlooking
my incivility as one forgives a naughty or excited child.
He commenced to remonstrate with me gently.
" Society, in my country, does not consider that a
reason. You do not care for me to-day, but in six
months hence eh? The lover is despairing for his
lady now, sincerely grieved for her, and yet he will en-
joy, three, four, six others before the leaves fall. Per-
sonal feeling plays too great a variation to make like
and dislike reputable authority. Here we arrange
these matters for the mind as well as for the heart.
Ah, but doubtless you are expecting a lyrical motif!
I know it is so managed in America. Je t' adore!
There will be a place for that later."
I had no choice but to remain silent, checking my
wrath, thanking the powers that I was spared senti-
mentality. His next move took me by surprise.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 261
" Shall I announce our engagement, then? This will
amuse our friends. You could not hate me, quite,
since you had not even changed your name. It has
been remarked."
The reference to their impudent bets, the neat re-
minder of my questionable position, and his own hold
over me tipped the lid off.
" You will do nothing of the kind! " I cried, beside
myself with anger.
"Why not?"
" Because I won't marry you. I wouldn't marry
you, if you were the last man on earth! I hate, loathe
and despise you! I don't appreciate your sense of
humor, nor fancy your pleasantries. This week hasn't
been any fun for me. You held me here in a horrible
predicament and pestered me with your attentions.
Masquerading as your divorced wife was bad enough
but if you think I'm going to be a perfect fool and
marry you really you've got another guess coming."
I stopped for breath, and we remained measuring
each other eye to eye. I felt he was strong and deter-
mined. What did he know of me except my own
story? I must force his hand. If he belonged to
Jacobs, he must speak of Jacobs.
" My husband " I began, for the trouble with a
stupid lie is that you have to stick to it.
" Mademoiselle, you are not married." Two pin
points of blue steel glittered in his hard face. " Even
if I had masticated such a foolish tale, marriage under
an assumed name is not legal. I repeat there is no
obstacle."
So he had never accepted Henri's bluff! But how
did he know I was single unless he knew all ? At
262 WITS AND THE WOMAN
that minute he wore the grim look of one who takes
his foe alive or dead ; and suddenly I understood. He
was playing for himself and his own fortune first. If
I married him, nothing more would be said. Fear of
the past overwhelmed me, along with fear of the man.
Uncertainty drove me crazy. I stamped my foot.
11 Why do you bring me here to hector me ? What
do you want ? If you want money, I can pay "
He leaned against his donkey, smiling again, and, as
his grin broadened, I saw my mistake.
" Why should you pay me? " the Baron asked, coldly
insolent. " And why should I accept part, when I can
have the disposal of the whole fortune? When a beau-
tiful lady is ready to give money, she can be persuaded
to give much beside money I want everything."
I drew myself to my full height, my eyes flashed; I
felt tall and bold as a hawk. I hated him.
" Want then! Want! " I cried. " You won't get
one red cent ! "
The beast had the cheek to admire me. " Ach, so
you are magnificent! That is the way I like you best!
It will be necessary -to tease you sometimes. La figure!
It is superb! "
That touch of patronage roused the American eagle.
She flew at him. " Damn you ! Damn your hideous
tricks! I won't give you anything. Marry you! I
wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole ! "
I lashed desire, and spurned his admiration all in
one. The man's face changed. His watery eyes
turned red-rimmed, beads of perspiration stood upon
his forehead. He was inordinately vain, and I had
flicked him on the raw. Perhaps he really fancied a
girl like me could love him.
"I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth"
WITS AND THE WOMAN 263
" You won't pay me a red cent, hein ! You refuse
to give me anything! You will give me a kiss, now,
my beauty ! "
He swept over me. Long arms circled around, en-
closed me, pressed me tight against his hard, flat body.
He bent me backward. He covered my face with that
hateful moustache. I had never been kissed before.
Never! I thought only of his yellow teeth.
During the next fifty seconds hours years, my
wits bust a record, while I stood quiet and suffered his
shameful embrace, alone with him there, far from as-
sistance. What a fool I had been to rouse the sleeping
wolf ! I could easily have promised easily have
broken the promise. To struggle against him now
would only make matters worse. I must wait, I had to
endure, I counted madly: one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten; one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten while his hideous kisses
rained on my face. I wasn't so much scared as dis-
gusted. He had offered marriage, he wanted above all
things to marry me, and, however upset for the mo-
ment, he was too calculative to endanger a possible for-
tune. At the worst I must accept him. And once de-
livered out of this, shake the dust of Monte Carlo from
my feet forever. Let him follow let him do his
worst anything was better than being embraced.
Bah ! I would rather be hung for murder than marry
the beast ! One, two, three, four, five, six
" Whe-he-e-e-y-yo-yo-o-ho-ho-hoh ! "
Violetta lifted up her voice and brayed.
We shot apart like an explosion, while east and west
the glorious noise resounded. My Nanny joined its
echoes; and von Rathgartz turned upon the twain to
264 WITS AND THE WOMAN
slay them. Then realizing love was free he grabbed
for her and caught a donkey's tail.
Clarissa left him suddenly amid the music; nor did
her scooting shadow waver until La Turbie and the
waiting automobile came in sight.
CHAPTER XXIV
Thanks to the donkeys I had not been forced to go
through the humiliating pretense of accepting von
Rathgartz. But he had kissed me, had held me in his
arms, had taken a lover's privilege and how was I
to put the mum plaster on his tongue? To-morrow he
would do one of two things report me to Jacobs, or
announce our engagement to the Mainardys, and make
a story of his conquest in the smoking room. He could
be trusted to do the latter anyway. One had only to
picture him, deserted, descending alone, flanked by the
two animals, to know how bitterness must animate his
memory.
Laughter took some of the disgust out of me, though
I realized my plight. And when I had washed his
kisses off, I donned a negligee, made fatigue an excuse
for getting out of a dinner date ; and settled my mind
to some long, deliberate cogitation.
This was to be no wild riot of pangs and fears such
as I had experienced earlier. Our wits were clear.
The woman stuff of the afternoon had not affected
Henri as it upset me, and it was de Grasse to the helm.
Blunder by blunder we reviewed the situation and
its causes. First, there was the charge of murder
hanging fire from that beach affair, negligible in itself,
the inquest having laid both deaths to Felix's hand.
Of course, if I should be hauled up on other accounts,
it was still in line to form an unpleasant addition, but
265
266 WITS AND THE WOMAN
old Stutz loomed more terrible on my horizon. Terry
had been right about the little flivver that went flop into
the water Stutz was struggling back to health in a
prison hospital cot, and there was where my fortunes
struck a bunker. He honestly believed he had been
robbed before the hand of justice fell upon him. How-
ever, he had come by that black case, he had certainly
handed it over to me in good faith. He would swear
through thick and thin that Clarissa took his diamonds,
and being one of Jacobs' s dupes, Jacobs would nat-
urally be the last to disabuse him on that score.
Should he turn King's evidence, like the boatman, the
thing looked black.
Jacobs himself was the immediate menace. Griggs
and I knew he had planned to send a bona fide messen-
ger to the beach a girl who would find no automo-
bile and no boat. She must have been sadly at a loss,
poor innocent, if she ever got that far. I wondered
\vhat she had done. Whatever her course she had lost
time, luckily for us, and Jacobs had lost more com-
municating with Felix or Felix with Jacobs. Jacobs
wouldn't have hurried, knowing that load of diamonds
was fake, he'd just as soon have had them disappear,
and Felix must have been fine and drunk by then.
Eventually, they must have worked round to the pawn-
shop man and that's where I got off. He would be
able to spot me again among a million.
There remained the Baroness mixup. If she had
been working for Jacobs, she had failed to carry out
his business. He must get wise. It was dead easy to
trace me what an ostrich I had been to hide myself
with a blare of trumpets! That Yiddish letter com-
menced to haunt me. Jacobs possessed power and
WITS AND THE WOMAN 267
money. It looked as though he had already set his
spies at work ; and his ability to do me dirt was limit-
less.
On top of all these fears the Baron's pretensions to
my hand raised an immediate issue. I could not re-
main in Monte Carlo. At any moment he might turn
and rend me blow my reputation to a bomb pit. I
must give the man the slip ; skidaddle with a big SK ;
go while the going was good, and go alone. Well I
knew he had bribed Annette, and that she would cheer-
fully fly with me, and telegraph our whereabouts.
Henri was always good at a start. A dozen schemes,
melodramatic, humorous, impossible, whirled through
my head, but none of them wound up just right ; none
of them carried me beyond Monaco let alone my
trunks. " Trunks ! You rave ! This time it's to be
no spotlight exit," Henri warned me.
Seeing I couldn't take everything, I decided to take
nothing; to feign an illness, shake my friends and
board the Ventimiglia train at lunch time, when Monte
Carlo would have settled to the serious business of its
day.
Woman's everlasting gag, the headache, served to
lay me out of promenade and luncheon party. I sent
Annette around with a cool note of explanation, writ-
ten so as to curb Sue's sympathy short of a call, and
added a shopping list bound to take her two hours,
with Paul driving the car. I did have a touch of head,
and I wore a fit of the blues that for pure color rivalled
an artist's palette.
The girl tucked me up, supplied me with salts and a
copy of the Paris Herald, and, after repeated offers of
service, trotted down the hall happy as a cricket over
268 WITS AND THE WOMAN
her outing. When she was gone, I sprang erect and
fired my paper clear across the room. It was madden-
ing to think Annette would never minister to me again.
I had been a fool not to quit when the Baron put in an
appearance. I had lost every trick without so much as
hearing him mention Schlossgartz. In fact, he had so
persistently avoided details I began to wonder if he
really was a title. I lost myself in morbid fancy.
The winged snake came and set upon my eyeballs. It
had pestered me outrageously since these strangers
crossed my path, the little rubber growing daily in im-
portance. Did that indicate to sell? The Baron had
seriously advised me to sell more than once, and the
market had gone off a few points during the week.
Now it was booming again. Were he and Duffy stock
manipulators and laying for me there, too? I pon-
dered Duffy the habits of the beast at home and
guessed he was a good deal less of a spender in Amer-
ica.
Thinking about my money perked me up. Why
should a woman with millions five, eight, ten my
fortune varied day by day lie down under anybody's
thumb?
" Me for my own name and my own country ! " I
cried, jumping out of bed.
" I reckon I can put up a pretty spunky fight against
prosecution in New York City. And as for folks here
I lived a long time without the Mainardys, and
there's as good fish in the sea as ever was caught ! "
Compared to our arrival, my preparations for leav-
ing were a fair joke. If I escaped with my dressing
case, I would do well. It was a very magnificent affair
wonderfully fitted, dozens of bottles and brushes made
WITS AND THE WOMAN 269
it heavy as lead but not too heavy for Clarissa in
an emergency. Remember I was no fine lady pam-
pered from the cradle up. As I hefted the case in one
hand, I thought of the boxes of lingerie which I had
been expected to swing from the high shelves at Bain
& Dingley's down to the counter and up again. The
scene of my early victories trumpeted a bugle note.
Running away with one's pockets full of honest money
is a cinch ! Doubts scurried in all directions before a
great heart-sized laugh.
My hands fairly twinkled as I stowed in jewels and
private papers. There was plenty of time, but An-
nette might return, and must not find me packing.
Suddenly I went up in the air. A time table! My
kingdom for a time table! When did the Venti-
miglia train go through? Rummage, rummage
but nothing doing! The property man had tricked
me. I daren't arrive at the station early and await
results; I was too conspicuous. And I daren't face
those sunlight streets before the hour when man would
be intent upon his midday meal. I was too popular.
I would be seen, recognized, accosted, roped in for
something.
I fumed, I rummaged, but I dare not ring. None
knew better than the Baron how to fathom a bell-
boy's knowledge by the weight of a small coin dang-
ling on a string of questions. To have a sheet sent
up was to advertise whither I journeyed. I must just
go down myself, loiter through the hall, perhaps buy
a copy of the papers I already had, and snoop a
folder. The earlier the safer for this little curtain
raiser but first to dress.
Gown after gown I took from its place, tried and
270 WITS AND THE WOMAN
discarded, finally picking on a neutral toned suit more
in the style of Mrs. Brown than any giddy aristocrat.
Plain accessories added themselves without effort, but
deciding on a hat ate up my courage. To choose one
only one, and forsake the others. My eyes watered.
I tried on all the favorites the ruby straw, the oys-
ter gray with its soft plumes exactly matching, a
black lace and jet real lace and real jet, several
suedes perfect dolls tan and pink and green ; and
last, the fairy blue the blue with the soft tulle un-
derrims and the misty white lace veil. I tried this one
on over and over. How tragic that it would never
again crown my titled head. Could I bring myself to
carry a bandbox? No, I could not. My training as
a perfect lady, though brief, had been too thorough.
So I kissed its dainty edge as I laid it away in snowy
tissue paper. I hoped Annette would take it.
Jimminy Crickets! The idea of what was about
to become of all my things opened vistas. They'd
think I took French leave lacking spondulics. I'd
talked about rubber, but never shown my certificates,
and I'd been losing heavily in the Casino. The Baron-
ess was busted! Rather than face it, I'd left the pro-
prietor to pay himself out of my effects. If gossip
didn't put a spoke in von Rathgartz's wheel, I missed
my guess. In twenty-four hours he'd be drinking
himself to death over his lucky escape.
Surveying myself critically in the mirror, dressed
by my own hands for the first time in months, I real-
ized the Baroness von Rathgartz, that final letter in
the art of womanhood, was indeed dead.
" Absolutely safe," I murmured, heart and body
WITS AND THE WOMAN 271
sinking together in the elevator. " Nobody will rec-
ognize me this way."
Alas! I had hardly returned to find Annette open-
jawed regarding the litter of my toilet than I heard
the unmistakable bony-fingered rap-a-tap-tap of the
Baron's arrival. He had recognized me! I almost
loved the creature out of sheer gratitude! But how
to escape him what to do? My paragon maid
would let him in, if he so much as offered her a louis.
One of Henri's inspirations saved the day. An-
nette being a sort of female edition of de Grasse he
understood her wiles.
" I have been looking over some gowns," I said,
airily waving away thousands of francs' worth in cre-
ations by Paquin, Cheruit, Beer. " The sapphire and
the taupe and these trifles on the ottoman are for my
right hand. You will look nice in the hat. I feel
better, and am going out ; maybe I won't be in to din-
ner you can have the afternoon off. Whoever that
is, say Madame is not at home."
The knocks grew urgent.
" Annette," I added, looking her straight in the eyes.
"If that is the Baron von Rathgartz, hold him a little
in conversation. I do not wish to meet him going out.
Here. Let me see you."
It was farewell. Placing the cherry hat on her
dark hair, I tilted her chin. I gazed at her. I kissed
her. We were both embarrassed.
But my munificent gift had satisfied her avarice.
"Madame is kind they are so beautiful!" she
gasped, white teeth gleaming, and hastened away to do
my bidding on an expert specimen of the flirtatious
272 WITS AND THE WOMAN
male. Common jealousy knows no pang like Henri's.
Think of the eyes she would make!
I heard his voice, " Mais, Madame has just come
up. I saw her take the elevator this minute "
My maid's reply began with a zip and ended in a dove
coo. It got him.
" What have you been contriving in her absence ?
Trying on the dresses, hein? How does she look, the
little one ? "
Ah! He would soon know. The door closed. It
was diamond cut diamond. I was saved at the price
of Annette but Henri raged! I grabbed my bag
from where it stood ready, beat it down the stairs and
jumped into a cab.
Ever so little later we were steaming out of Monte
Carlo, second class a girl and a valise with no
concern in the world but where we would book from
Ventimiglia.
CHAPTER XXV
Clarissa Kendall ambling the streets of Naples felt
small and unimportant, but astonishingly happy. I
had written to Griggs at once ; my real need being ex-
pert advice on European morals, and counsel as to
what direction things were likely to take. And he,
good scout, cabled back to sit tight till he arrived.
Evidently he wasn't wasting sleep over the Baron, so
fear didn't weigh me down perceptibly either. The
paving stones hadn't scuffed one dainty pair of shoes,
before I guessed that Henri's heart was pretty much
at home in Italy. Indeed, his persistence in explor-
ing the narrow ways and mangy houses prevented us
from being on the dock to welcome Howard.
Big busses full of passengers were already bowling
from the wharf as my carrozzella whirled along the
water front. With the driver lashing and swearing,
plying his tongue as vigorously as his whip, me stand-
ing to urge him on, and frightened pedestrians turn-
ing from cover to swell the torrent of abuses gathering
in our wake, we made a cheering bit of local color.
And Griggs, his round face burnt but beaming, jump-
ing out of his carriage as I threw myself from mine,
added the last un-English note. We fell upon each
other's necks.
"Clarissa, old thing! Jove! I hardly knew you.
I think that is you're changed. You know what
273
274 WITS AND THE WOMAN
I mean I believe you're prettier than ever ! " He
was holding my two hands, apoplectically red.
I squeezed his. " You're a sight for sore eyes ! "
" Hot stuff, this meeting here, eh what? "
We proceeded to a high balcony overlooking the
kingdoms of the earth, and lunched with a tarantella in
our ears and questions flying. But first I took the
menu from him.
" Not on your life, old boy. I've eaten nothing but
pension food for full three weeks, twenty-one mortal
days, sixty-three nearly fatal meals. This is my treat
you can pay for it, if you like ! "
When he had pronounced my selection an extremely
sound effort, we unbosomed ourselves freely. My
tale was the best, or seemed so then, because its pat-
tern was all worked through in detail and didn't need
any aniline dyes of imagination to make it vivid.
But I could see Griggs was dying to talk.
In New York they were tearing up certain streets
and paving others the subway was still under con-
struction. That's about all the home news I got out
of him, his mind being largely projected into the com-
ing weeks. He was full of a big spiritualistic pow-
wow due to take place a regular time ! Big-wigs
planned to hurl themselves from London for the sole
purpose of experimenting through a strange and pow-
erful medium; a riot of Science had been organized
to make wise this gay, shallow, colorful, aching, pov-
erty-stricken, crime-bespotted, glorious city of Naples.
Well, Henri and I can milk as much interest out of a
joust with the other world as anybody. But I was
disappointed. I'd expected to be breezed about by
Howard, and enjoy life, and here he was figuring to
WITS AND THE WOMAN 275
shut himself up in a tomb. All those famous John-
nies would cut me out of his company. I thought it
a raw deal and told him so, gently. Thereupon he
braced his courage and drew himself together for the
plunge.
" Clarissa, I legged it over as soon as I received
your message, but I was booked for Europe anyway.
Nothing not even Angelica could keep me out of
Italy just at present. It was my great ambition to
persuade you to come on here from Monte Carlo
if you know what I mean I wanted most awfully
to have you and de Grasse on the spot. Sir Herbert
Slawson and Sir Gillespie Drake, personal friends of
my governor, aren't like like members of the vulgar
crowd, don't you know. Wouldn't you ah, I
mean will you consent to meet them?"
"Meet them! Sure. If they stay here and they're
friends of yours, I guess I'd have to do some dodging
to avoid it."
' Yes, certainly, of course. But I mean talk to
them tell them take them into confidence. You'll
like Sir Herbert. He's by way of being rather a
topper."
" Talk to them about de Grasse ? Always the
same old song, Griggsy ! "
He flushed, opened his mouth, shut it again and
sighed.
" Get it off your chest," I said. " I'll listen."
He spoke earnestly. His utterance was positively
thick with desire.
" You know, old girl, if you'd only talk it over with
the two of them and then do what they say asleep
or something tremendous things might happen.
276 WITS AND THE WOMAN
When I think of what might happen and what hasn't
got a chance to happen so long as you continue selfishly
to keep Henri bottled up inside you well I mean
as long as you refuse to give him a free hand to
allow other other mediums to get at him. I feel
it's it's "
" Like taking candy from a child ? Cheating the
future generations, eh ? "
" Isn't it rather like cheating something or some-
body? Don't you feel you kind of owe a turn to the
world to people? Life's doing pretty well by you,
and even if you refuse to admit it, you and de Grasse
are of of thundering importance to Science. Jove!
Don't laugh ! How am I to talk about the bally thing,
if I can't can't mention it? "
I did laugh, but he brooded, steeped to the chin in
serious purpose. I began to consider the suggestion.
Tremendous things. H'm, as long as they weren't
too upsetting I rather thought I'd like to go the limit.
" Howard," I said at last, " you're much nicer when
you philander than when you philosophize most
men are. Philosophy's a bore. Knowledge is a bore.
Science is a bore especially in Naples. You're a
bore. Worse you're the slave of an idea. You
make me mad. But I could never stay mad with you.
You're a nice thing to have around and, because I'm
threatened with the loss of your society, I feel real
peeved. You fix it up with the old highbrows to let
me in on their seances, and maybe I'll let them in on
Henri."
" Clarissa, you're a splendid fellow ! " He seized
my hand. He gloated.
" There's another matter. I was touching on it
WITS AND THE WOMAN 277
when I spoke about life doing you well not that I
want to to take liberties with your private affairs
but Swanhill gave me a message for you."
"Yes?"
" He told me rubber looked shaky. He thought it
was high time to get out. I promised to mention it
to you as soon as possible."
" H'm he's been cabling since. Thanks, Griggsy.
This matter cuts some ice. The boom can't last for-
ever, and I guess it is time to quit. I've got a lot to
unload," I informed him, leaning on the table, with
shining eyes. Henri couldn't be restrained from brag-
ging. " We've invested every red in rubber. Hon-
est! I wired New York to sell my railroads and a
few industrials, and then we simply tossed the dollars
over. In those days the price was stepping lively and
always in the right direction. Say, we used to sit
in an office in London and watch the pile roll up.
Take it from your uncle Dudley we've made a pretty
penny."
Along the city end of the Villa Nazionale, fronting
on the bay, there stands a pile of stone and mortar
called a palace. Walls nearly three feet thick rear
themselves square about an ample court. A splendid
stairway leads from the street level to the topmost
skylight without scamping an inch of its breadth.
High rooms opening off both sides of the four cor-
ridors are lit by narrow windows, and stone, stone,
stone, whichever way one turns, makes the place as
cold as charity. It sure must have been some dog
under an old regime, but its day is over. Now each
story rents to a separate tenant, and one, at that time,
was placarded largely on the park side: Pension
278 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Frascati. In a back room of this pretentious " board-
ing house," with a window looking on the court, and
only one door, the wise men chose to spread their
scientific feast; and during the period of their occupa-
tion nobody was allowed to enter it except themselves,
the medium, a reporter and Clarissa.
Don't let disbelief make a joke of you by suggesting
that electric wires were introduced through three feet
of solid stone floor; or that any person contrived to
play, on such a stage, tricks clever enough to dazzle
those clear thinking, gifted, educated minds. Yet
queer things happened within the four square of that
compact masonry. They were all written down in
shorthand minute by minute, and later published in
a bulky book that he who reads may run. But it
was up to Griggs to keep me posted during the per-
formances, for I was only allowed to do a couple of
heats in the spook race, as they feared excitement
might upset de Grasse.
Griggs had sorted out of his clippings the guarded
little paragraph I'd given him permission to write
about us; and which, being so guarded, had appeared,
said its piece, and faded from publicity without having
raised a flutter in the scientific pulse. He showed
this to Sir Herbert, who passed it to Sir Gillespie, and
by-and-by they slipped it to the crowd. Howard kept
on barking about us, as if we'd been a patent medicine.
The old boys pricked up their ears, and one or two of
them came round to pass the time of day.
You see I'd made good on the Lelland and on rubber,
and aside from diamonds, mine was quite a fast record
for a perfectly normal young lady whose finishing
school had been a counter. They cranked her up on
WITS AND THE WOMAN 279
questions, but in such a polished way my feelings
weren't damaged any. Wanted to know who and
what my people were. How far I'd been educated,
and all that.
Sir Gillespie lost his breath at the start, and the
longer I talked, the harder he found it to catch up
with facts. They were amazed, nonplussed, and
couldn't figure it that a well dressed, beautiful, rich
young woman had come unassisted through all I'd
planned and got away with.
" Mind you, gentlemen," I finished. " This is every
word in strictest confidence. Any one of you could
land me in the dock."
They bowed as serious as the woolsack and crossed
their hearts. Then a scrawny chap began to hand me
problems square roots of XYZ, and the like. I
multiplied the alphabet by the alphabet and brought
out a telephone number. He thought it marvellous
for that matter, so did I. He tried to corner me
on names of mountains; and how to go from place to
place journeys I'd never made this-and-the-other-
les Bains. Later, I had to play bridge with three of
them, and as they were roaring good players, that was
the best end of the business. I wanted to have an-
other rubber, but they insisted on sitting round like
a council of owls, and continuing to fire questions.
" You say, Miss Kendall, your education stopped
abruptly before you had even graduated from the pub-
lic school? "
" Quite impossible for an untrained mind to do that
problem in that way," interpolated the mathematician.
" And you never played any card games till after
the mesmeric sleep? "
280 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" You bet I didn't ! Granny was dead against cards
and dancing and on the farm anybody who cared for
himself followed Granny's lead."
" Very strange," mused a little red-haired man wear-
ing bone-rimmed spectacles. " Indicates a vaster field
than the theory of subjective self could ever cover."
"Most astonishing case on record!" boomed Sir
Herbert.
It's classy to be a case under such specialists. They
used to dine all round my table just to get a chance of
watching me, till I began to feel like the only auto-
mobile in the village. If I sat down in a corner for
five minutes, one of them would materialize and try
to draw me out. When I shifted, another turned up.
I hopped about one morning, as if I'd been a hen on
a hot griddle, for the fun of seeing how many I could
signal. And, by gum, I got the whole eleven
Griggs, of course, didn't count. Maybe they were put
on by him to do the guardianship act, but their mo-
tives were carefully wrapped in conversation and sealed
with a compliment the disinterested, almost imper-
sonal flattery which elderly men, of the right sort,
spiel to a girl in public.
After this kind of thing had been going on for a
week Howard broke the news. The old boys wanted
to get up a real cracker-jack of a soul search per-
haps a series with me featured as the sleeping
beauty and their precious medium pulling the puppet
strings an all star cast. Henri was to play puppet.
They calculated, as he'd been a dab at hypnotism, she
wouldn't have any trouble getting into touch with
him. I wasn't awful keen on it myself, because that
Italian woman had been doing some creepy stunts,
WITS AND THE WOMAN 281
But I hated to show the white feather, and Howard
kept on pressing me, morning, noon and night, to come
across.
" Science " and " Opportunity " were the burden
of his song, until my temper flew out and I snapped
at him.
" Science runs a long way ahead of friendship with
you, young man! You're deaf to compunction and
blind toward misadventure. Suppose she turns us into
spooks? What if I go off in blue vapor? You
should worry! "
Jokes and sarcasm were wasted. His second name
was serious. The twelve set their jaws to have their
own way, and I, like a simp or a woman, gave in.
I said I'd stand for it, and in the saying I kissed my
liberty good-by.
Once she had consented to be the party, there was
nothing left for little Clarissa but to sit back and
contemplate Slawson and Drake making arrangements
to give it. This was to be their treat extra and above
the meetings listed on the society's curriculum, and the
note of competition promised to sharpen interest a
whole lot. They went to elaborate pains to set the
scene correctly. Not wishing to interrupt the regular
business at Frascati, they hired a room in our hotel
and laid it out according, to rule, black cabinet and all.
You see, if you don't play this game according to
Hoyle, you don't score any honors, no matter how
startling your results. It seemed they wanted to con-
trive a bodily manifestation of Henri, and then ram it
down people's throats as a fact.
Henri was a perfect stranger to the bunch, and, ex-
cept that Griggs was present, it would have been dead
282 WITS AND THE WOMAN
easy for some charlatan ghost to step in and play his
part. Think of a clever little Vesta Tilley from the
spiritland skipping over our border, doing a turn in
the spotlight, and handing a lemon to all those brainy
toffs! Of course, nothing like that could happen with
Howard acting as a safety brake. He was the only
living soul who could vouch for having seen me and
Henri as separate human beings. Besides his identi-
fication, I wrote a description of de Grasse, and they
stowed it safely away in a strong box, incontrovertible
testimony to be opened for comparison after the event.
It was a flowery document, believe me ! Henri's idea
of himself with elbow jogs by an eye witness.
Griggs and his friends intended doing the thing up
in regular style a manifestation first and a supper
following, at which the whole performance could be
sized up. It was a rattling good plan, calculated to
bring their guests back at the double quick from higher
spiritualistic planes to real life, and so provide im-
mediately a sane perspective toward past events. The
medium and I were both invited, she to countenance
me, but I gathered women were expected to retire early
and take their astral bodies with them.
Starting from the hour I said, "Shoot!" Griggs
fussed over me like a hen with a lone chick. I wasn't
any more myself to him. Clarissa Kendall, the girl
pal in risky exploits, clothed in femininity and
wearing corking gowns was dead as a door nail. He
erected on her peaceful resting place a monument to
Science, and thought I ought to show as little anima-
tion as one of those busted torsos in the Louvre. I
hardly dared to move or think or eat. I cut out the
daily jaunt through Henri's quarters. Howard was
WITS AND THE WOMAN 283
genuinely shocked to find I had been hunting in such
holes alone.
" If anything should happen to you! "
" Fiddlesticks ! It's safe as a church parade ! " I
objected. " They're really very decent when I talk
to them."
"But you don't speak Italian?"
" They understand my lingo. Oh, for pity's sake ! "
He'd drawn a notebook from his pocket, and com-
menced to write. I sat frowning. When he'd finished
his comment and returned his pencil to its proper stall,
he regarded me in some concern.
" Clarissa, old thing! You appear distinctly pipped.
There's something rummy in your manner which gives
me an idea you're not keen on this investigation, don't
you know."
" Keen ! How can I be keen when you're always
croaking at me? 'If anything happened! If any-
thing happened ! ' I'm the goat that ought to be but-
ting in on trouble. The Lord only knows what's go-
ing to happen Wednesday evening and I want to
forget it. Do keep quiet you'd make a hippopot-
amus nervous ! "
I was shaking in my shoes and I left off trying to
hide it. One overt act before the seance showed my
mental attitude. I made a will. The notion took me
all of a sudden, and I put it up to Sir Gillespie. He
pooh-poohed me at first.
" My dear young lady, nothing can possibly happen
to you in a simple hypnotic sleep. Why do you imag-
ine, if we thought there was risk the slightest risk
that we would permit you to expose yourself? "
" Look what happened last time."
284 WITS AND THE WOMAN
He hummed and hawed. " Most unfortunate circum-
stances most unusual. I think we can guarantee that
murder will not take place among us." His blue eyes
twinkled behind round glasses, but seeing me grave as
a tomb, he hastened to add : "Of course if it would
be any satisfaction to you a will is an excellent
institution. We each like to feel we have left our lit-
tle legacies into a particular pocket. I shall be de-
lighted to find a solicitor. Plenty of time to-morrow
morning. I'll bring the fellow here and he will tie
you up in reddest of red tape."
The dear old chap would have sung another tune
had he known what strange intention lay behind Clar-
issa's girlish thanks.
The next day a lean Italian, speaking English like
a dictionary with all the biggest words at his tongue's
end, and no conception of a sound slang phrase, waited
on me in the hotel. I knew exactly what I wanted to
say and said it, and he repeated the words with a hair-
splitting .pronunciation. The writing proved to be
an elaborate affair. But when it was finished, and
our names signed, and the gist of it bound as tight as
a lasso on a wild steer, I went to hunt Sir Gillespie.
" And so you have apportioned your little pile, young
lady?" he said, beaming. "Do you feel better and
safer?"
" The paper disposes of about two million pounds,
sir, so I hope you wonit lose it. Not having any rela-
tives the document can't be legally contested. You
will find, if you have occasion to read it," he smiled,
" I have named you and Sir Herbert and Mr. Griggs
as executors ; and I trust, when you get the connection,
you won't have any objections to acting."
WITS AND THE WOMAN 285
Objections! I guess they wouldn't! I had given
instructions to Swanhill, and the Paris and London
brokers, to sell my rubber shares, all of them, im-
mediately, at the market. (Gee! Afterwards I al-
most wished I'd died!)* And I had willed the bulk of
my fortune to the cause of Science to be used in
research. I was dead scared that Henri, being so
much smarter, would take this opportunity to push me
out ; or maybe we'd get balled up by accident and both
practise a skidoo. Anyway, if Clarissa Kendall was
left among the spooks, I meant her to have a human
chance of getting back again. And I knew the three
Englishmen would give me a square deal.
CHAPTER XXVI
I shall never forget the appearance of the seance
when I was ushered in. The room was oblong, large
and' high. A good part of its furniture had been re-
moved to make way for their work, but heavy cur-
tains, close drawn over every window, lent it com-
fort; and it was lighted like the Great White Way.
Afterwards, they switched off the illumination so that
rays from one lamp only played upon the medium, but
at the time I found those gay electroliers most reassur-
ing. Seats for the guests had been arranged in a
semicircle, and the guests were sitting on them.
Everything suggested law and order. Beyond the
folding doors the supper was preparing and here we
waited for an entertainment. In the arch of the bow
formed by our earnest friends stood a common little
deal table with a vacant chair placed on either side of
it, and in front of this again was the cabinet.
" Jumpin' Jupiter ! " I cried. " Are you going to
put me in there ? " And I began to back away. But
Sir Herbert explained it was only a shelter for Henri,
should he care to manifest himself.
Spirits, being in the know and shy of mankind's
tricks, won't consent to parley unless they can have
their backs to the wall. In fact they prefer the se-
curity of three walls, and invitations are issued to them
through a sort of coffin; which is very natural seeing
it's their last association with an actual body in a ma^
286
WITS AND THE WOMAN 287
terial world. All the same the idea took the tuck out
of me.
" I fail to get your drift," I answered. " This whole
contrivance is for the reappearance of the dead, while
Henri is a fine live wire and don't you folks forget
it!"
Of course the heavy-weights smiled at my simple
protest, and then we sat as solemn as elders at a cottage
prayer meeting. The services of the reporter had
been dispensed with out of consideration for me, and
I'll bet the bunch were mighty glad of it later on.
We waited. The red-haired chap and another got
their heads together in an argument and were frowned
down by higher authority. Still we waited. The
party couldn't begin without the leading lady, and she
took her own time.
The medium was a substantial person, decidedly of
the lower classes, with a kind face and a good charac-
ter. Nothing less witchified could have been imagined,
except that her eyes held pots of knowledge. When
she did come, she got busy right away and that was
all I savveyed. It was all Clarissa Kendall knew for
seven ghoulish days and eight uneasy nights.
Gee ! What a scare I gave them worse than
sharks in Jersey waters or infantile paralysis!
Every man- jack was trembling in his shoes and
hanging around the hotel corridor asking, " How is
she ? " with chalk-white faces and care-crushed mien.
Quite a change from the " happen " motif, wasn't
it?
Griggs felt the deepest-dyed villain, seeing he had
urged it on me, and was largely responsible for my
consenting. He explained the context to me after-
288 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ward, sitting by my bedside and covering my wrist
watch with a firm, strong hold, as if he half antici-
pated I would spark away in flame as they had seen
de Grasse go out. For they did see Henri of all
the funny stunts! Can you tie it? Did you ever
hear it beaten ?
During two full hours that evening the scientists
fairly revelled, enjoying the time of their lives. I
had gone straight off into a beautiful sleep, for de
Grasse knew how to work it from his end too and
there wasn't a hitch. But the medium, well aware
she ventured on unbroken ground, proceeded cau-
tiously. The seance opened in the lowest grade with
table-rapping and a bluish light. The unnatural ra-
diance, which seemed to be the evidence of Henri's
spirit, hovered around the cabinet for a while and then
decided to peep inside. She spoke to him and he
talked back. At first there resounded a mad riot of
knocking. She listened to the very end of the clatter
and then translated it. He'd been telling her what
he did in New York with Lady Deering, and how he
had been shot. They asked him if he was wise to
who did it ? He rapped, " yes," and added, " Rath-
gartz." But he refused to say why.
" Was it about money? " she asked.
" No."
"Spiritualism?"
" No."
" Love? " suggested a man at the end of the line.
" Love ? " repeated the Italian woman. And Henri
laughed quite distinctly there in the black box.
But he didn't answer.
" Crime? " asked Griggs. The rest murmured, say-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 289
ing it wasn't any sort of a position to put a decent
spook into, and he changed the form of the question.
"Diamonds?" she repeated.
Suddenly the light went clean out of the box. The
winged snake appeared vividly to all of them and
floated across the room. They didn't pay it much at-
tention and were regularly cut up over their careless-
ness when I drew a sketch of the D. T's for them later.
But at the time they felt so disappointed over fright-
ening de Grasse away they let it slip.
I stirred in my sleep and moaned a little, Sir Her-
bert said. He was nearest to me. It must have been
a baby moan, because the rest all thought absolute
silence had fallen on his flight.
There was nothing to do but begin over again. The
medium knew now she was working along with a
master and could attempt high A, so she placed her-
self inside the cabinet and went to sleep. They sat
waiting, waiting for the longest while. All saw her
plainly the oval of her face foreshortened as her
head drooped, and the white blur of her folded hands
sunk in her lap.
The whole twelve men longed so ardently for Henri
to show himself, if it hadn't been for the grand smash
at the end, I'd have held they projected his image by
the concentrated power of their own idea. They say
when fellows get side-tracked on these lines, go dippy
for the supernatural, they're able to persuade each
other black is white and right is wrong. Maybe so,
reason does a heap of funny stuff even at its sound-
est. All I can write about this is the facts as Howard
related them.
Hope was lingering in the last throes and some of
290 WITS AND THE WOMAN
the doubters were commencing to fidget, when, bingo !
Without a particle of warning that white light glided
over the box again and dipped inside it. Attention
rose to fever heat. Griggs says he could feel his soul
kind of parting asunder as if it was being stretched
on a rack, his way of expressing that the pace was
strained. Blue is blue and white is white in spiritual-
ism. The glow just witnessed indicated a manifesta-
tion.
The curtains thrown open on the face of the cab-
inet twitched as if somebody was fooling with them,
and, finally, gave a wallop, a life-sized yank, and hung
down closed together. Through two scallops where
the edges didn't quite meet, they could see the light
was still inside, but it had grown dimmer. It ex-
panded. Presently it seemed to envelop the box turn-
ing it grayish in the gloom. Then complete motion-
lessness fell over the room. The deadly calm not only
surrounded the cabinet, but gathered the watchers into
one intense emotion. The sensation was that of be-
ing in a void, absolutely detached, floating where there-
was no air to breathe, nothing to convey sound, no
means of reckoning the period involved. Griggs only
knew it lasted till the curtains quivered and Henri
stood before them.
He was dressed in the same dark nondescript clothes
he had worn at the first seance, and his body was
strangely shadowy. But his face, the handsome,
mocking, evil face with its suavity and its unreliability
could easily be distinguished even at a distance.
" Jove ! " Howard said under his breath.
The red-haired man asked, " Are you de Grasse? "
And Henri bowed.
WITS AND THE WOMAN 291
The movement was unmistakable. He raised his
hand and allowed his fingers to rest on the end of his
moustache. He did not twist it. The act remained
unfinished, suggesting the incompetence of a mechan-
ical doll. Henri was evidently not quite at home with
himself.
Remembering their earlier imprudence our bunch
dared not question him. They had achieved enough
for a first trial by simply getting into touch. So they
sat and watched him like a row of mummies in a show
case, while he proceeded to glide toward the table.
All this time the medium slept soundly in her sentry
box and I slept where she'd left me in a chair at the
end of that same table.
Our big- wigs can't agree among themselves as to
whether the spirit wearing Henri's personality was
really Henri, or a fresh guy who had borrowed his
Sunday suit, hands and face and all, and was out for
mischief. The burning question up to Science is what
they've bagged after they've made the killing. But
whichever way you work it, one thing's certain. The
garments of humanity these spookies hang about them-
selves are gathered from the astral body of the sleep-
ing medium. In this affair the spirit may have mixed
my aura up with hers, or may have wanted to. He
evidenced a skimpy line of goods. None of the twelve
wise men could tell the size or pattern of his shoes. He
did not walk the footless do not walk. He just
proceeded toward me a fiend or a friend, crafty,
yet with a I-don't-care-a-damn manner that was de
Grasse incarnate.
When he reached a spot exactly behind my chair,
opposite Sir Herbert, the demon leaped.
292 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Those wooden hands unskilled in detail were not
necessary for the finish. A something infinitely
stronger seized my throat. His body seemed to cover
me like water, transparent, fluid. A dog's snarl ripped
the silence; but the struggle, if there was a struggle,
took place within my body.
Instanter the men rose to their feet. I wonder
partly if the sounds were not emitted from their own
dry throats?
Quick as thought Sir Herbert sprang on the as-
sassin. He swears he was at grips with something for
a second. They only saw him clutch the air and fall
across my knees.
On the instant a terrific racket started in the cab-
inet. The curtains hung together tightly as if a great
hand closed them. Forms writhed behind their folds.
The gray shroud melted from the box like yards of
chiffon tossed and tumbled altogether, and then the
light burst forth a bright, white, splendid incan-
descence threefold the power that had entered. It
blazed and vanished. A cry, sharp but not loud
the agony of soul surrender marked its going. The
cry had come from me.
Griggs was the first to pull himself together and
switch on the current. Except for frightened faces
and standing instead of sitting guests the room was as
it had been. I lay easily in the chair, my clothing
was unruffled, no sign of personal violence showed.
Presently the medium came out of sleep and started
on the regular reviving stunt. She turned the trick
three times but nothing doing ! Clarissa slumbered
sweetly. The old guard exchanged glances, and Sir
WITS AND THE WOMAN '293
Herbert commenced to wring his hands, he was ter-
ribly upset, poor dear.
When I'd lain locked in the arms of Morpheus, and
withstood her ablest efforts for an hour, the medium
gave up. She said de Grasse must have quit his
lodgings and thrown the key in the river or words
to that effect. Maybe I was suffering from physical
collapse and needed a medicine-man, anyway she'd
reached her limit. And with that she put on her hat
and coat and walked out.
They sent for doctors, and doctors found my heart
just beating, my pulse hardly noticeable, and my breath
not noticeable at all except on the edge of a feather.
They returned the same verdict " Collapse."
Griggs, white about the gills, tore up the place like
a forty-two centimeter shell. The manager was sum-
moned, a nurse installed, I was carried to my room and
put to bed. Ice packs were ordered, hot water bags,
electrical appliances, everything that could be done
was done but there I lay.
Hourly day and night a scared inquirer would tip-
toe to my closet, and, tapping, whisper eagerly the new
refrain : " How is she ? " Always answered by three
pregnant notes,
" No change, sir."
I was alive but not present where then? Had I
gone callihooting off on the trail of the spirit? And
him such a dangerous fellow!
My chaperones rang the changes in every known
form of fear, with a few new patterns recently im-
ported to add distinction. Aside from the extreme
inconvenience of having me die on their hands, I be-
294 WITS AND THE WOMAN
lieve it would have knotted crape about their very
souls had I telegraphed a change of plans and gone
away, without so much as treating them to a picture
post card of my recent trip. They longed to hang
upon my words, and I kept right on saying nothing.
At the end of the third day Griggs wired to Paris
for a specialist a pink of doctors. He came,
he saw, he lingered. He felt my pulse, listened
to my heart, tested my breathing, lifted my eyelids,
did all the local men had done no more, and charged
a thousand pounds for telling them to let me lie and
watch me. There was nothing else to do but watch me.
And then he also joined the waiting group. I was
sure some case ! Extreme physical depression follow-
ing mental shock had been his diagnosis. I might re-
cover and, on the other hand, might die. Probably if
I recovered, the carus would save me from insanity.
They held no more seances at Frascati. The So-
ciety's meeting officially closed. Its members were all
in the same boat and it was no use to squeal, but some
of them drummed up excuses for ducking out in a
hurry. The Englishmen stood by their guns. How-
ard grew positively thin, his once-upon-a-time round
face lost its perpetual ruddiness, and Sir Herbert and
Sir Gillespie added many gray hairs. They took the
biggity nerve chap into full confidence and put it up
to him whether or not Henri could be lying about
loose. He was a Catholic and wouldn't express any
opinion beyond crossing himself. It's one of the
points that puzzles me yet. Is Henri lying around
loose? Did the devil send one of his patrolmen to
run him in first time he crossed the border, or was
Henri mad at me on some account? Did he wish to
WITS AND THE WOMAN 295
finish me or liberate my spirit? Was it only clumsi-
ness in handling the astral stuff? Had he planned
the exit? Was he sick and tired of masquerading as
a skirt? I really can't conceive de Grasse wanting
to divorce eight million dollars, so I guess the spirits
must have snatched him.
Where am I at ? I always get mixed thinking about
this!
My three friends stood by me loyally and did their
turns in watching. It was Griggs, brooding like a
statue in a cemetery, I first saw when the lamps lit up.
I took him for Madame Buniva come to call me.
" What time is it? Am I late? " I cried, trying to
spring out of bed. But the effort ended in a little
quiver under the clothes. I couldn't any more have
turned myself over than a shark on dry land. You
see, capping the nervous prostration, I'd omitted eat-
ing for a week. My resistance bulked about as strong
as an empty barrel with the hoops off.
Howard sprinted for the specialist, and when he
came in all bushy black beard and piercing eyes I be-
gan to feel better. He allowed me a cup of warm
milk, told them to close the blinds and not on their
life to let me talk, and then he beat it for Paris. My
healing was scheduled as a long job. After fifteen
days of nourishment and nothings I was pronounced
fairly well and Griggs risked the telling of their story.
To their bitter disappointment I had not a line to
add. From the instant sinking into slumber until the
natural awakening my mind had ceased to function.
Only one thing I could assure them about de Grasse
was no longer a member in the firm of Kendall & Co.
Well, they'd drawn blank and so had I. We de-
IP
296 WITS AND THE WOMAN
cided to bury the hatchet. Still, my own loss was a
purely personal matter and I felt it keenly. I couldn't
restrain a few tears when Sir Gillespie came to say
good-by and handed me my will.
" You didn't need the document after all," he said
kindly. " Though we came much nearer to it than I
imagined possible closer than I ever want to come
again ! "
I opened the paper and let him read the plan for sav-
ing myself from a ghost's career. He was amazed
and trotted it off to his colleague, to return bubbling
and ask for a handsome gift of the paper. It was
strong evidence of some premonition theory. They've
always got a second iron in the fire, these Johnnies.
He joshed me a bit over being afraid. I confessed
to having had cold feet.
" And yet you went in for the seance ? You are
very brave as well as clever."
" I was," I whimpered. " Bu bu but I'm
afraid you've spoiled me now. I'm just a girl that
served in a shop."
" My dear young lady/' he began, wiping his glasses
and readjusting them, " this will provides for the dis-
tribution of millions. Any girl with a charming,
pretty face and ahem a fortune, is bound to have
a splendid sort of life. You must come to England
and meet my daughters Lady Drake will write to
you, care of the Ritz Carlton, New York, isn't it?
Between hunts we will talk a great deal about this
matter. I am most anxious to know every detail in
which you could recognize de Grasse while while
he was alive."
WITS AND THE WOMAN 297
"Bu but I'm so silly. I feel so stupid. I'll
never be worth anything again ! " Pride had been
horribly cut by my loss, for of course I'd enjoyed be-
ing two to everybody else's one and having such a
fuss made over me.
" Can't you tell me what it was that night that made
you cry out or moan? Sir Herbert insists upon the
moan."
"I didn't feel if I had, likely I wouldn't tell it
straight. You know how an alarm clock striking on
your dreams will turn into a gas attack before your
eyes are open. No, I guess you don't either. I knew
it good and plenty in the old days."
I told him again of the splendid tidal wave of vigor
which had swept upon me at the time de Grasse's soul
shot into mine. How I had been uplifted, eager to
face lions mentally and physically fit. Evidently,
during the hypnotic sleep the virility had been with-
drawn. I had grown perfectly accustomed to twice
the human share of force and its ebbing left me limp.
" I've lost my pep ! " I blubbered. " I'm just a dish-
rag ! Look at me crying like this Henri never
cried. It's womanish ! I'll never get over it I'll
never be remarkable again ! "
The old boy felt my implied reproach. They were
all kind of on the apologetic, as if they'd cheated me.
Now for the first time he took up the cudgels in de-
fence.
" Miss Clarissa, I believe you will live to thank us
for this accidental separation. It is tremendous to be
abnormal, I'll admit that we lesser creatures bow to
genius we are obliged to. It is tremendous but
298 WITS AND THE WOMAN
it is often grievous. I am rather inclined to think the
better part, especially for ladies, is to be normal. Why
should a woman not be womanly ? "
" But I'll never have any adventures ! "
" So far you have missed the greatest adventure of
all you have never been in love. Not during de
Grasse's reign? Naturally a dual mind conld never
be whole-heartedly in love. Each of you must have
been oppositely attracted. You to the man and he
to the woman."
I lay quite still and let the idea sink in. Charley
Ross arose before me. I had loved Ross. I had come
jolly near it anyway, with a strong leaning in that di-
rection. But leaning toward was all the sentiment
Henri could stomach. There was Swanhill too
and others. All at once I understood why it had been
so easy to leave them, and on the other hand my having
taken such a shine to Sue Mainardy. I remembered
the Terrier and that hour in the boat when I had recog-
nized his double appeal. Being in love with a man
must give you a desire to be swallowed whole well,
if you were swallowed h'm! Maybe Henri hadn't
been an unmixed blessing.
Sir Gillespie was enormously pleased with himself
for getting me smoothed down. He simmered along
in his best fatherly manner, and as he said good-by
gave me another nut to crack.
" You must sleep a great deal, and eat a great deal,
and make the roses bloom, so that your pretty hats
and frocks will be a setting for a splendid jewel. You
have been seeking treasure, my dear, and finding it too.
Now it is somebody else's turn to find. Only be care-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 299
ful don't bestow your hand hastily. If you ever
want an old man to act a guardian's part, any one to
refer any one to, I shall be delighted. Remember you
have a vast amount at your disposal. You hold
enough in either hand to turn men's heads and Henri
is no longer here to guard it."
He certainly knew how to set one thinking. So
there was still a big game for little Clarissa. Making
money wasn't perhaps as hard as keeping it. I thought
of the Baron and turned cold. Henri had never been
good on the woman act but he had been there. His
anti influence served to keep my blood cool. Suppose
von Rathgartz, instead of looking like a death's head,
had shone with all the beauties of Apollo? I'd been a
frost to clerks, but gentlemen are different. They have
little ways. I pictured the Baron aged thirty and knew
him just the man to wring my fortune from me. As it
was, he had advised me to sell rubber. To be sure the
stock was weak at the time but it soared afterward.
Rubber was a perfectly splendid investment I'd had
a hunch. Von Rathgartz wanted to cheat me, and
other people would want to flim-flam me too. I
mustn't have faith in any of them. Henri had put me
wise about rubber and I determined to follow him. As
far as money went, one had to buy some sort of cer-
tificates with it. Leaving it in the bank was a mug's
game, apparently, and I owned too much for my stock-
ing. If I was obliged to hold stocks, then I might as
well hold rubber as anything else. If it went down it
would go up later. They all fluctuated. Swanhill had
told me so when I first commenced to buy railways
through his office. He said to put them in the bank
J
300 WITS AND THE WOMAN
and forget about them and spend the dividends. Well,
I could do that with rubber. I'd just wad away
Henri's fortune and live on the profits. And nobody
would have a chance to cheat me.
CHAPTER XXVII
Clarissa fancied making up her mind about business
was a noble, difficult and all-wise act. But when it
came to carrying out the plot, planning seemed to be
only a reach-me-down. I was up against the climax
before I knew. And I must say Griggs struck me in
an unscrupulous hour, when I was out on the veranda
for the first time, and every sense steeped in enjoy-
ment. The season was over. Naples grew warmer
every day, one could only live to enjoy. Laughter gets
into the bones there. Griggs and I supped tea and
laughed, and my hungry eyes ate up the people.
Never having been ill before, the passing weeks lin-
gered along like years.
Howard sat with his cup perilously balanced on one
knee and made plans for the immediate future. He
appeared to be quite giddy with pleasure over having
me around again, and I fell for the gaff and met him
halfway maybe a little sooner. I'd been lonely, you
see, and it was comfortable to have somebody taking
care of me and laying out a summer that was to be a
fair treat. Two or three weeks at his aunt's place in
Devonshire would make me feel as game as a fighting
cock; Hellingham situated in the north offered no at-
traction to invalids, its turn must come later, with Lady
Drake's invitation. Sir Gillespie had never been a
four-flusher in hospitality, and so, of course, I was
booked for a visit at the " Grange." Darling woman,
301
302 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Lady Constance, topping girls, one son a rotter and the
other in the army mostly away from home. Their
place, he said, was celebrated for its shooting and I'd
have a rattling good time there during the autumn, but
between this and that he hoped to show me a real Lon-
don season.
" Balls and dinners? " I asked.
"Jove, yes!" Several a night if I cared to dine
double, receptions and all that hardly counted. What
he wanted to do was to take me to the Derby on a drag.
Show me a real horse race on the real turf. He prom-
ised tickets for the Royal enclosure at Ascot. There
would be polo at Hurlingham and the Henley regatta,
and all the university sprees I cared for. We must do
Lord's too
" Cricket, don't you know," he explained. " One
hasn't seen England, unless one has watched a cricket
match. Jolly amusing place, Lord's ! "
" Oh, Griggsy ! " I cried. " You're the grandest
planner! De Grasse can go 'way back and sit down.
I've never been anywhere or seen anything. When
you told me about Angelica, I thought it was a scream
and now I almost envy her. As a guardian of the
young "
"Easy on!"
I laughed joyously. It was a perfect moment ; and
right there in the full flight of my enthusiasm, while
I was telling him his goodness and his kindness, and
calling him an excellent pal, the boy turned traitor.
I'm glad to think shame flushed him up a bit, though
he always went shrimp pink over tapping the wires on
other people's private affairs.
" I hate to bother you about business. It's tolerably
WITS AND THE WOMAN '303
rummy to be serious on a perfectly top hole day like
this. But since you've mentioned it put me in a
responsible position, don't you know. I Clarissa,
old thing ! You ought to be taking some some ac-
tion about your rubber."
" Rubber! " I bristled. So soon, eh, and from this
quarter. The source of the blow more than the blow
itself threw me out of my reckoning. I knew Griggs
never butted in. He must then be very determined,
have a particular object in view. And he was so in-
tent on it he failed to grasp my attitude.
" Swanhill has been pestering me with cables. I was
obliged to inform him of your illness, and since that he
has been wiring me. Jove! The stuff looks weak.
He's afraid when you begin to sell you'll bust the
whole bally market."
" Tell him to keep his hair on," I answered sharply.
" I'm not thinking of selling not a single share."
My companion stared. " But isn't it awfully seri-
ous? Of course I'm not a jolly specialist on these
matters know jolly little about 'em. Old Dibbs at
home looks after all that. Still, if it should go go
down what would you do ? "
Another cup of tea poured in stony silence empha-
sized my coolness, and, I hoped, a certain amount of
annoyance.
" Why do anything? Unless I order them to buy
some more."
" It sounds sporting but I it's not safe, Clarissa.
The brokers wouldn't have been sending those mes-
sages short of a crisis, I mean to say a panic a
threatened panic. Swanhill "
" I'm on to him." My grim words cut Howard
304 WITS AND THE WOMAN
short. After he had finished his tea, he began again.
Beaty certainly had primed him to talk me over.
" Buying is a splendid idea only Jove ! Won't
it take an astonishing amount of cash? "
" Money! Not more than eight million dollars."
" But you don't possess eight millions in money, dear
girl. Buying will take a lot of gold. How much have
you in the bank ? Oh, I say ! I didn't mean that ! "
His face turned scarlet, and my anger long repressed
flashed out. Not so much against him as against the
rotten combination they had dragged him into.
" Howard Griggs, I think it's extremely nasty of
you to to try to do me this way when I'm sick
not myself that is."
" Trying to do you ! Dash it ! I'm only making an
effort to explain the situation. You can't afford to
chuck away the right stuff any more than others."
" I don't want your old explanation ! I know it
runs like a brook. It's arranged to run to wash
metal to wash it out of my pocket and into Beaty's.
He tells me to sell. You tell me to sell. That wicked
Baron chap in Monte Carlo told me to sell long before
the stock quit climbing. But I know why all of you
are so anxious to get me out. Rubber is an A-i in-
vestment. Everybody wants to crowd in, and when I
own so much of all the rubber in the world, naturally
they have to elbow me away from the trough before
they can stand in my place."
Griggs sat a while silent gazing down on Naples.
He was mad clear through and didn't trust himself to
speak until the mad looked passed, then his voice was
very quiet.
" You are not yourself, Clarissa, so I'll forgive your
WITS AND THE WOMAN 305
lack of confidence. Only allow me to say one thing.
Rubber is no investment, even an outsider can see that.
The boom is a bally big gamble from start to finish,
and, if the brokers have been gassing you about invest-
ment, it's a crime."
" No use to talk ! " I cried excitedly. " With auto-
mobiles and new inventions using it up like wildfire
rubber's a necessity of life and necessities are good
investment. I've got my feet on the swellest planta-
tions and I'm going to stay put wild horses won't
drag me off. If the stock goes down, it will rise again
just you watch. Beaty told me so himself. He
said putting first class propositions down artificially
and making the little fellows skidoo so the big guns
could hog it all themselves was the Wall Street game.
They call it fair the only way with brokers is to be
too cute for them I'm not surprised over their trying
to cheat me, but I am amazed that you should be mixed
up in it, Howard."
" Sorry you take it that way," he replied stiffly. " I
sold all my stock before leaving New York, so my ad-
vice is at least disinterested. What you say is true.
There's manipulation, and bucket shops, and a host of
other pitfalls connected with the business, but on the
other hand, don't you know, there are some decent
brokers. I introduced Swanhill to you, and though he
is a bit of a rounder, I believe he's honest looking
out for his client's interest and all that. He didn't
own a share of rubber when I left."
" All cleaned up at the top and ready to buy in at
the bottom, eh ? " I sneered.
Griggs refused to discuss the matter further. He
was terribly hurt and angry over being called a crook.
306 WITS AND THE WOMAN
Englishmen don't understand how one can be too keen
financially, and quite respectable along other lines.
We chatted a while about indifferent things, but neither
of us was having any fun, so I allowed I was tired
and left him alone to be ashamed of himself.
Isn't it the limit how huffy a man gets if a woman
don't open her mouth and swallow his opinions whole ?
Howard stuck to it I ought to sell. His obstinacy
seemed to me, then, a part of the big plot, and I kept
my back up. He fetched and carried for me till I was
on my legs, but our twosums weren't the same lark.
Misunderstanding hung between us like a wall. We
failed to get each other's jokes. We aggravated each
his own nationality with its peculiarities. I began to
feel I bored him. Trifles got on his nerves. I'd see
him shy away from a slang phrase as if it was a fast
one; and that got my Angora. So when I was well
enough to leave Italy, I broke it to him straight that I
was going back to America. His aunty had come
down with her invitation all right, and I dare say How-
ard would have carried our program through; but
I wasn't going to be under compliment to him not
after the mean way he'd acted. Anyhow I guess
there's nothing better in London than we can put up in
little old New York.
CHAPTER XXVIII
Granny used to say, " A man's as big as he can
build." But then she'd never seen a skyscraper, or
else my difficulty lay in not being able to handle Henri's
pile. Without de Grasse I wasn't up to the gilt-edged
social stunt. As we steamed into New York harbor,
which I'd never seen from a ship before, owing to
the exclusiveness of my last voyage, I knew I was
shrinking to about the size of a peanut. Instead of
thrills and throbs and all the advertised emotions,
I just naturally felt I was a shop girl, perhaps worth
a little more than nine fifty per., but no better able
to hold down Miss Stacy's job than to be President of
the United States.
Of course I'd been to places and seen things with
my own eyes. No amount of soul shifting could
deprive me of experience ; and I'd learned from Henri
the tip is to give the world a left-hander, and you'll
almost get a black eye from the return rush but
for the life of me I couldn't bring it off. Every time
I opened my mouth I was afraid of putting my foot
into it. I commenced to weigh the idea of going to
college and getting more educated so that I could
curb my talk, or the chances of butting into the four
hundred by doing charity work. Henri always
despised the climber squad, but I couldn't think of
anything original to do.
307
308 WITS AND THE WOMAN
I streamed into the Ritz at lunch hour, and imme-
diately after called Swanhill, intending to pass him
an invitation to dinner and then have our quarrel out.
The minute they took my name on the wire I
twigged things sounded strained. And by-and-by,
when Beaty condescended to speak, I got it in the
neck. I was busted. Dead down and out! Rubber
had kept right on tobogganing in spite of my blockade.
The amount I could put up for fresh margins and
carry the load wasn't a straw to the Galveston flood.
" You've been holding a tea cup under Niagara,"
Beaty explained with the fish ; and conversed at length
on the subject of water.
" I'm the goat," I agreed ruefully. " One lesson
like this ought to be enough."
From the broker's manner I could see he thought it
one too many. Of course I'd turned him down on
sentiment earlier, so I'd no legitimate kick coming re-
garding the icy mitt, and it was decent of him to pay
the dinner check, still it hurt to shake hands and know
all was over between me and the aristocracy. Unless
Clarissa Kendall, by her lone, could strike another
Lelland there wouldn't be any invitations for week-
ends on the Jersey coast.
I shut myself solo into my room and waded through
stock reports, balance sheets and bank books, till the
bare bones of my horrible predicament hadn't a rag left
for covering. I owed money to Swanhill, and there
was Tom's salary to pay up, my pride insisted on that,
and a hotel bill mounting hourly. While my assets
But why pile on the agony? The wrong side of the
market stuff is being handed out pretty regularly. Oc-
casionally it sends a man to the gutter, but mostly it
WITS AND THE WOMAN 309
makes him look sharp and join in the job-hunting mar-
athon, as it did me.
A new refrain commenced to sing in my ears : "If
I don't find it before the end of the month? " " If I
don't get something by next week ? "
What kind of a job did I want ? Well not behind
a counter. Knowing more of proportion now I figured
the peachy time Annette put in compared to a sales-
lady, and determined, if the worst came to the worst,
to go into service. I chased " situations vacant " like
a terrier after a rat, up and down elevators, through
windy passages, in underground and " L " trains ; wait-
ing with my ear cocked at the door of private offices,
and my eye on the hole. I got engagements, but they
always petered out. Either I wasn't paid, or the boss
proved cheeky, or the firm went to the wall. One
morning I tried an employment agency to rent myself
as a maid. Shades of Annette! The lady with the
corn-colored transformer and the cosmetic complexion
who ran the place said it wasn't a bit of good without
references, and sure none of the dames I interviewed
cared to risk a stranger next her diamonds. Finally,
when Erma Swanhill appeared at the desk I faded out
of the back door. If she had been looking for a maid,
she would have been just mean enough to engage me!
One late afternoon, in a desperate mood, I climbed
the inside stairs from the subway to the Times Buildr
ing. I had determined to advertise and was endeavor-
ing to think up an attractive description of my abilities,
and I was so intent on the fancv sketch I failed to no-
tice the sleight of hand lad loafing at the head of the
steps.
" Stop thief ! "
310 WITS AND THE WOMAN
A dozen arms shot out as the ragamuffin scooted for
the entrance; but he dissolved among them like a blob
of mercury, wriggled away, dashed across the tiles, and
jumped into the revolving door at Forty-second Street,
before the crowd had well awakened. A man just go-
ing out sprang after him into the next compartment.
A dark day had settled into torrents of rain, the door-
way was jammed by folks waiting for cars, and the
pickpocket found himself unexpectedly trapped. See-
ing escape shut off to the south, the kid spun round
and endeavored to cut back the way he got in. A
bunch of us were waiting for him there too, and he had
no choice but to travel. He speeded up, the man kept
on pursuing, while the glass door purred. They flew
around like squirrels in a cage. People arriving from
above and below began to horn in on the circus; the
crowd beyond got wise to what was happening and
commenced to laugh everybody laughed. Laughing
put us all in such good humor public opinion eased up
on the boy. Obviously being the lighter he couldn't
hold out long. The pace slowed, and the young gamin,
wild-eyed but game, made a desperate leap and
landed clean in the arms of a reporter. A second later
the man, grinning broadly, popped from the door and
glammed him.
" Here's the bag ! " said he, holding it aloft. " None
the worse for a trip to Coney Island ! Does anybody
want to have the kid arrested ? "
"Not on your life!" I cried, pushing forward.
" But it's a darned good thing you froze on to that
purse, Terrance O'Shaughnessy, because my last red
cent is in it and I'm hungry ! " I underestimated the
effect of that speech. A couple of philanthropists
WITS AND THE WOMAN 311
moved forward, and I hung my head, half -laughing
and half-crying.
Terry peeped under my hat brim exclaiming, " Clar-
issa ! " in accents of joy.
I felt so happy I wasn't able to speak for a minute,
and let him tuck my hand under his arm, saying:
" Let's get out of this. Can I call your car? "
" No, you can't I don't own a car ! I don't own
anything any more not even a pair of rubbers.
Take me over to Quids' and I'll tell you a Cinderella
story backwards."
Having found him, he looked too good to lose, and
I knew the surest way to hold the Terrier was to unload
Romance. So over a marble-topped table and a fry of
ham and eggs I spun the yarn, starting in Bain &
Dingley's and ending up to date. Part of it I'd told
him floating on Lake Erie, and much of it he acted in,
but ranging scene on scene in order made it a brand
new play a thriller too. Not once did he show doubt
or scorn or superiority, but just sat watching my face
and remarking, " Umph ! " at times, to indicate he was
on.
" You've never known the real Clarissa, and maybe
you won't care for her," I finished ; then, struck by an
idea, opened my bag and spilt the Baroness's little key
out on the table. " Here's my credential that every
word is true, this and Ross's nugget are the only talis-
mans I keep. Now tell me all you've been up to your-
self."
As the dinner throng thinned the air grew clearer,
our hearts were uplifted, and it's difficult to beat white
tiles and nickel-plate for striking a cheerful contrast to
rain and wind. We ordered fresh cups of coffee, and
312 WITS AND THE WOMAN
sat on talking. The Terrier's blue eyes beaming op-
posite made me feel as safe as an insurance policy.
" What have you done with your black boat ? " he
asked presently.
" Haven't done a tap with her. The Swallow is
stowed away where Tom bunked her last fall. I ought
to have tried to sell her but I didn't know how."
" Good work ! I hoped you hadn't chopped her up
for kindling wood, or parted with her under the ham-
mer, which I believe is about the same thing. I've
got a plan. I'm going down to put the lady in the
water, and maybe you'd like to take me boating next
Sunday?"
" Lucky the ocean is nobody's swimming pool," he
replied to my enthusiasm. " But that's not all
there's method in my madness. Things look very
much as if Bully's luck and mine had changed. We've
gone into this new moving picture business."
I burst out laughing. " Terry, Terry ! I'd never
have thought it of you! Are you playing hero and
Bully the heavy lead ? "
He puffed his cigarette, holding my glance with an
indignant eye. " Bully is the crack camera man of
America. And I'm owning actors these days. An-
other chap and I got together on a film company
making the pictures, you know. It looked pretty good
to us six months back and it sizes up better now.
We're thinking of building a big studio somewheres
over in Jersey."
" Glad you've made the grade ! " I cried, reaching
for his hand and trying to keep a shade of wistfulness
out of my voice.
" Listen, woman ! We're running a story now with
WITS AND THE WOMAN 313
a boat in it, and that's where you turn some easy money.
Our company will pay you rent for the Swallow, and if
you want to steer her yourself we'll pay for your time
too. By the Lord Harry ! " He brought his fist down
making the cups dance and jingle. " What a dub I
am not to have thought of it at once and you look-
ing for a job! There's heaps of things to be done be-
side motor boating. You can dance and swim and ride
and golf and wear clothes wear them with a sting.
Will you sign on with us, Clarissa? "
" Are you offering me work? " I quavered.
" Work, sure, and play. I'm going to star you in
an A-i comedy we've just bought a society plot.
Have you any clothes left by chance? "
" Clothes ! I haven't anything but clothes ! Trunks
and trunks full of them in storage. I spent weeks in
Naples ordering a wardrobe and I did it good the
very latest Paris styles and gee gaws to match. Oh,
this is a blissful day, Terry!"
" Top hole ! You'll be the rage inside three months.
There's a stack of money in the movies, girl. \Vhy, we
aren't started yet. Wait ! By ten years' time the swell
actors will be crawling to us on their hands and knees.
We're going to cut the planks clean out from under
the feet of the legitimates! "
" And you're taking me in on the ground floor.
You are white ! You know it was Henri worked the
Lelland," I added apologetically.
His twinkling eyes showered me all over with little
blue sparks, and I knew from his smile he didn't give
a hoot for the de Grasse story ; but all he ever said to
show his unbelief was :
" Honest, old girl, I don't find you a bit changed."
CHAPTER XXIX
October found me broken into harness ; Judson had
already raised my pay ; and you couldn't have told the
Cobalt contingent I wasn't Queen of the Movies not
without taking chances. Our company was in shape
to build too, and the Terrier and I drove pretty near all
over Jersey, in his secondhand Ford, looking for a site.
After a Panhard it was some joke to be travelling in
a box on wheels with a sewing machine doing the en-
ergy act, but we had lots of fun out of it, and, on our
final trip, a cussed run of luck, so that by nine-thirty
we were still coming along east, trying to pick up
Newark and a beefsteak. It was pitchy dark, not a
hint of a moon or any light but our own lamps, and
we'd fallen foul of a pavement molded on waffle irons.
" Sleepy ? " asked the Terrier, battling with her fliv-
ver steering gear. " Don't spoil your appetite by doz-
ing; this lane isn't much to brag of, but it looks like
business and we may eat dinner before breakfast yet."
With that a bright red eye winked in front, then an-
other and another, and we nosed up on a barrier where
an arrow with the well-remembered legend directed us
to " Detour." From the map of the country we had
been exploring this bore the ear-marks of some little
side-step. We turned sharp and ran into a single-track
thoroughfare leading through dense trees, which pres-
ently emerged from the bush as a mere rut across
ploughed fields. Only a nip of frost in the air made
314
WITS AND THE WOMAN 315
going possible. A dense black curtain of darkness
shrouded the sky except to the southwest, and what I
saw there petrified my gaze.
" Thunder and blazes! Am I mad? " I cried, shak-
ing myself awake to stare. " Look, for the love of
Mike, and tell me what you see ! "
" Strange constellation," said Terry, and " Take
care ! This isn't midocean," as I grabbed his arm.
" I'm not dippy, then not stark staring? You see
it too? What in the Sam Hill can de Grasse's winged
snake be doing in the heavens on the open side of
nowhere ? Why I haven't had the thing in mind, not
a murmur of him, since the final act in Naples ! "
"Search me!" I thought I heard the Terrier
chuckle, and fell silent.
We continued to draw up on the creature, who stood
clear in his gaudy reds and greens, as live a monster
as ever wiggled tail or winked an evil eye. My amaze-
ment grew.
"Is it a signal? It's not an hallucination? Are
you positive you see it, Terry ? "
" Can't see anything else ! Somebody's spreading
himself. Maybe it's Jacobs's racing stables."
" Jews don't race, you old Briton ! Honest, what
do you think it means? "
" Cross my heart it's nothing more than an electric
sign. A firm manufacturing galoshes uses a trade-
mark on that order "
"Rubbers!" I cried.
Terry looked at me, and I looked at him, and we
both commenced to laugh. We laughed so hard we
nearly fell out of the Ford.
" If it's a case of mental telepathy," I gasped,
316 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" I'll have to wire Sir Gillespie. I do wonder where
they acquired the scorpion let's go and ask."
" I suspect her of needing a drop of gas, so I'm with
you," my companion assented, and " Cast your eye on
that road," he added, as we crossed a strip of smooth
macadam. " It looks as if we'd been on the wrong
level all the way down."
But I was too busy over the idea and memory of
Henri's gang to pay him much attention. On we spun,
nearer and nearer, darkness enveloping us, with only
the winged snake glaring ahead. Then suddenly the
crack of a revolver split the night. At least I thought
it was a shot and jumped a mile, but it turned out to be
a busted tire.
When the Terrier had let up on his own line of con-
versation, I pointed to the bulky formless mass of a fac-
tory looming in blackness, and he admitted the scrape
might have been worse. We ran on the rim to the
gates, and crossing their paved court knocked loud
enough to raise the dead. Evidently the watchman
Terry expected to raise was on the job, for lights
sprang up within and without immediately, and almost
as soon the heavy door opened. There in front of me,
beneath the sign of Henri's winged snake, stood Wat-
son Duffy.
He recognized me on the spot and was as cool and
impudent as ever.
" Baroness ! Ha, ha ! This is a joke a pleasure
too but so unexpected! I told the folks in Monte
Carlo we'd run across each other, and we do. You
see, I'm never wrong. The third's the charm, too.
Come right in. Hospitality's my second name."
Talking all the time he ushered us into a private
WITS AND THE WOMAN 317
office at the rear, where another' person sat at a desk
poring over papers. Our entrance caused him to turn
and spring up. But I was getting so accustomed to
surprises by that time the Baron's bow hardly feazed
me at all, except that my eyes fell before his in em-
barrassment, not fear I remembered his kiss !
My glance, fleeing from his ironical regard swept the
littered table, and then, indeed, it was all I could do to
cover symptoms of a leaping heart ; for at one side, neg-
lected, unopened, evidently out of the count, stood a
little gray despatch box.
My head swam, every instinct toward adventure left
in my purely feminine soul, rose to attention. Vaguely
I heard Duffy saying, " Shake hands with Baron von
Rathgartz," Terry explaining our situation, asking for
gas, and the old Austrian, in his most courteous man-
ner, offering to hold a light.
The men departed and I came out of it to realize
Duffy was offering me a chair.
" For goodness' sake where are we? " I cried, relax-
ing my trembling knees.
" You're in the headquarters of the Cat's Eye Rubber
Company, that's me, makers of the best wearing and
best fitted rubbers in the world. Mark you, I say
it and I'm never wrong," he replied expansively.
"Rubbers!" I gasped.
" Rubbers rubber the real commodity." He
grinned from ear to ear reiterating it, and I understood
they knew all about my big financial blunder.
Struck once more by the cruelty of those even white
teeth, and agog with curiosity over where he got his
information, and what it had to do with Henri, I fired a
string of questions at the man.
3i8 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Why in thunder do you have that beastly serpent
up above your roof ? Where did you find him ? Is he
your own invention or only borrowed ? Have you read
his family history and his pedigree? "
" Serpent? What are you talking about? Our
trade mark? " He threw over a couple of neat adver-
tisements both emblazoned with a drawing of Henri's
snake, wrongly accented, and ran on about rubbers for
a time, telling me how he made them, how he had
scraped the capital together, and cribbed the design
from a sketch on a dining-car tablecloth.
" Never miss a chance, you know. I saw this was
a snappy fellow and ate him up. Improved him too,
don't you think? He's better for commercial pur-
poses anyway."
He punctuated his talk freely with capital I's, and
blatant assurances of his own infallibility, and I let him
ramble on while my mind leaped from jag to jag of
past experience. When the whole world went wild
about rubber, I had attributed the influence to Jacobs
- never to an outsider. But the thing was under-
standable. Duffy was the sort to concentrate his entire
powers on a new line, whatever his motive, his mind
worked over time a dynamo of power as he'd
said himself. On the gigantic interwoven wireless
linking public opinion, his virility had flashed a set of
private signals to my supersensitive condition. My
enormous fortune had not represented de Grasse, after
all, but William Watson Duffy. I glanced about no
mahogany and silver fittings here, just serviceable light
oak. Everything in the office shouted newness and
efficiency. So this was Sue Mainardy's millionaire
WITS AND THE WOMAN 319
at home. Whew ! He must have risked the whole of
his precious rubber making at a single turn ! I smiled.
In southern Europe he and I had been a pair of busted
flushes, and Sue had taken us on.
He saw the smile, caught my drift, and cut his reci-
tation short.
"What's the Baron doing here? " I asked.
" Same old story. Down and out wife died and
he lost his allowance or something so I brought him
along. He's selling champagne and making good."
A gleam of kindly humor lit Duffy's eye as he waved
his hand over the table.
" Fixing up his accounts to see if he can afford
Monte next season can you beat it? I felt he'd
succeed and I'm never wrong."
Conversation lagged. My mind was all on the gray
box. Presently he vouched : " We've seen you be-
fore. Seen you in the Swallow off Deal Beach."
" Ah ! But the past is past."
Curiosity as to the source of his knowledge being
satisfied in this one illuminating sentence, my fingers
itched to touch the mystery. But the chances of com-
mitting burglary in a brilliantly lighted office, with a
blatant host entertaining me, and another about to re-
appear, seemed nil, till I heard the Baron's voice ap-
proaching in the corridor.
" That infernal watchman has locked up the stores!
Can't you come and let us have some gasoline? "
Terry said untruthfully, it didn't matter, we'd get
along without.
" No you won't get on without not at all," re-
joined von Rathgartz in the irritability of age, his cour-
320 WITS AND THE WOMAN
tesy outraged by the idea of allowing anybody to go
without anything particularly if somebody else paid
for it.
I listened not to Duffy's apologies. But, insisting on
the importance of gas, my thin shoes, the lateness of
the hour, and every excuse to emphasize our need, I
hurried them all off together. Then with trembling
eager hands I sought my talisman. The little key
went home, turned like a charm, and a second later
nothing but the reading of a printed page lay between
me and the Baroness's secret.
CHAPTER XXX
The printed page however shed no light on Jacobs or
his precious doings, neither did several sheets of manu-
script lying underneath. I found nothing important,
for my ends nothing at all, till I opened the last pack-
age; and then the facts so stunned me I remained
standing stupidly before the criminal evidences of my
search.
My mind looped the loop around our entire adven-
ture ; it touched upon the relations I had borne to every
character. At once I understood our craven yearning
toward that old woman in the secret den ; I knew why
I had risked my neck to lug her to the open decks. I
was informed and nauseated. I lost count of place and
time, mentally engulfed in a hideous nightmare. I
was so shocked I was dead to events, but had I realized
the return of my hosts I don't believe I'd have given a
hoot. I just stood staring into the open empty box till
the Baron's voice recalled me.
" Ah, Mademoiselle has an interest in my poor af-
fairs."
He was on the threshold, courteous and ironical as
ever, twirling his long moustache over an ambiguous
smile, and watching. The glint in his gray eyes gave
the lie to his nonchalance. As the others came up he
added, " It is a small liberty for one who was the Bar-
oness von Rathgartz."
321
322 WITS AND THE WOMAN
I saw Terry stiffen, resenting the twist he gave to
that title, but the name itself stung me. Knowing now
the horror of the thing I'd seen, I sprang awake and
spurned it.
" Don't ! Don't ever dare to call me Baroness !
That woman that terrible creature ! Her crime is
unbelievable ! "
" Madame ! " In a word he asserted the stern dig-
nity always underlying his ease. " I forbid you.
Kindly remember the lady whom you impersonated
was my wife."
"If she was a thousand times your wife, it doesn't
alter my opinion. I loathe the very thought of her. I
wish I'd let her drown like a rat in a hole ! "
He raised his hand imploringly. A smile, yes, posi-
tively, a smile played across his features ; and his voice
flowed smoothly as an oily river.
" My dear young lady, you evidently do not read
Italian. You defame a woman whose little shoes you
are not suitable to unfasten."
I gasped. The men in the doorway listened, open-
mouthed, strangers to our conversation. The old chap
lowered his finger-tips till they touched his lips and blew
a kiss. " My wife," he said again, eyes and voice ex-
pressing the transports of a lover.
" Ah ! She was a wonder, that woman a mar-
vel! I alone know but I do know. I who enjoyed
her youth. Ach! We are great fools!" He bowed
his head.
" Those that ought to be saved will be saved," Duf-
fy's voice boomed. " What in the name of all that's
questionable are you doing with the Baron's box? "
Somehow the old man's attitude made my action look
WITS AND THE WOMAN 323
very cheap. " You'll admit I had the right of en-
trance," I cried, defensively, holding up the key.
With a sharp intake of breath, sign of the most sin-
cere emotion I had ever seen on him, the Baron ques-
tioned : " Then you did know her? "
" I was with her when she died at least, I was
the last the nearest. I was on the Carbothia."
Giving him time to recover, I ploughed along. " She
thrust this on me and a message a mixed-up message
papers, a box, a secret to hunt to destroy. I
suppose she meant me to destroy the evidence. But,
my God ! It is too horrible ! I ought to have con-
sulted you."
He had regained his composure, and his attitude to
me had strangely changed. My connection with his
dead wife hallowed me. "If Mademoiselle will sit,"
he said deferentially, " I can tell her much which will
be perhaps interesting." So we sat one on each side of
the table with my theft between us, while the men drew
near to listen. Terry had relaxed, seeing the new set
of the wind, but the whole delicate affair was lost on
Duffy's thick skin. Curiosity alone kept him from
butting in.
" Mathilda would not have wished you to consult
me," he began. " It will surprise you to know I have
not been in Schlossgartz for twenty years. There was
no evidence against her. She did what she did by
Royal command, but she was human and she regretted.
She wanted the papers to reassure herself. It was piti-
ful. So ambitious, so unforgiving yet the heart
triumphed in the end. In extremity she did not think
of the diamonds, hidden somewhere and drowned a
Government loss. It does not matter. She was bound
324 WITS AND THE WOMAN
to have hidden them and make a mystery of them.
Mystery grew on her. She had a peculiar mind and
a very unforgiving nature. She never forgave me, no,
never, and to the day of her natural death she never
would have forgiven me, for that little affair with
Louise that first affair, almost immediately after we
were married. Ah! It was unfortunate that she
found it out."
Deep regret breathed in the words, but no least sense
of culpability. He waited a moment before continu-
ing:
" We have in Vienna, as you are aware, Mademoi-
selle, a Government Bureau for the accumulation of
international news "
" The Secret Service."
" Since you wish to name it, yes. My wife was a
considerable person in the Bureau."
"A spy, too!"
Terry shook his head at me, but the old gentleman
took no notice of my indiscretion.
" In those days she was young, and beautiful and
clever. Himmel ! What a marvel ! Her control, her
readiness, her invention ! I was young, too. I was in
the diplomatic service. We had a career before us. I
worshipped her. I would have kissed the ground she
trod on ; and she, believe me, Mademoiselle, she adored
me. And then that trifling episode with Louise
and all was changed. We worked together for a while
longer, but there was no confidence, it was not the same.
Proud, proud ! She never spoke to me except on busi-
ness, or for courtesy's sake, when we appeared in pub-
lic. All the affection once bestowed on me she trans-
ferred to our son. She became the creature of two pas-
WITS AND THE WOMAN 325
sions her work and her son. That is the sort of
interest they like in the Bureau. Outwardly we had
the world at our feet. But it is not in the nature of
things to run smoothly for the owners of Schlossgartz.
Very soon her two great purposes commenced to inter-
fere with each other. The boy turned into a human
ferret. He was clever, he was full of questions. She
could no longer have him about her business. The
future balanced on a sacrifice. She must choose her
son or her career. It was difficult, Mademoiselle, be-
cause her strong illuminating, dominating spirit lived
for these two interests only ; but in sacrificing her work
she sacrificed me also, and doubtless that counted.
You see, she never forgave.
" I was no longer the husband of an esteemed and
valuable agent, and it was, therefore, no longer neces-
sary to keep me in prominent positions in the diplo-
matic circle. My wife retired to her castle and made
me a generous allowance I drifted into the eternal
round from Switzerland to the Riviera, Paris, Norway,
Tyrol. All the time the boy was growing up she kept
him from me, and as soon as he was a man and free, he
left her. There is a rough justice in things. It was
then she commenced to eat her heart out; and finally
sought to return to her service. She had put herself
badly out of favor at court by deserting, but she was
too useful still to be neglected. She started in after
twenty years to make good her career. Ach, she was
a wonderful woman, Mathilda! Wonderful in all
ways. I had her youth, and I shall never forget it.
But it was a pity she was so unforgiving. That little
affair with Louise the petite diable and my wife
so affectionate, so tender, so true "
326 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Bah ! " I cried. " Don't cant to me ! Affection-
ate, tender, true a woman who shot her own son ! "
Terry sprang to his feet ; but the Baron only blinked
and stared as though I had knocked his sentiment
breathless.
" She didn't," he replied presently.
I swept the papers with a wide gesture. " These say
she did."
" No." He was smiling amiably.
' They all go to prove it. She certainly shot Henri
de Grasse, and these documents prove he was her son.
Why here is her will " I lifted the page. " You
can't prove she didn't do it, unless you prove Henri
de Grasse von Rathgartz never existed."
I heard the Terrier chuckle. " Maybe he never did.
Maybe I've been hypnotized ever since," I thought
wildly. The air was numb with expectation of the
Austrian's next sentence. He spoke, suavely, enjoy-
ing my discomfiture :
" That, Mademoiselle, is exactly what I am able to
prove he never existed." After fumbling through
the papers he handed me an Italian sheet which I had
not been able to read. " See, here is the nurse's con-
fession. A baby was born and not baptised, and an-
other baby was substituted. It was this my wife
wanted to reassure her it was on this account she
shot him. After a quarrel more violent than the rest
regarding the young man's living out of Schlossgartz,
he went down into Italy, obtained this confession
witnessed by the priests, and sent it to my Mathilda.
Damned puppy!
" Her love turned to violent hatred. She had given
up her whole life, her career she had been imposed
WITS AND THE WOMAN 327
upon by an impostor. The fires that had fed two
splendid passions rekindled with one mighty purpose.
She determined to avenge herself. From then there
was open war between them. Henri had worked his
way up in the Service ; but he commenced to abuse their
secrets. The nurse had been his accomplice and had
taught him her black arts. He connected himself with
Lady Deering in order to establish a reason for com-
ing to America. But he was not so clever as my wife
not clever enough to outwit her. Disguised as his
principal she made occasions to watch him. As a
grande dame she insinuated herself into Jacobs's con-
fidence."
" Does Jacobs belong to the Bureau ? " I asked.
" Not exactly. But Samuel Jacobs is a tremendously
wealthy and influential man; in case of this country
ever taking issue with my country, his would be the in-
fluence we preferred to secure. The two agents, Henri
and Felix, were sent to America to get something on
Jacobs. He tempted them with his thriving side-line
and they fell. Using our secret sign, the winged snake,
they were able easily and safely to forward the dia-
monds through minor agents of our office. W r hen my
wife reported they were in partnership with Jacobs
and lining their own pockets, it was all up with them.
We do not employ half measures in the Bureau to
the faithful comes reward, and to the unfaithful a
swift, sure end. She begged the privilege of shooting
Henri. Some other was instructed in regard to Felix.
The law of obedience is our law of life. You know
the result!
" Begged the privilege of shooting," I murmured.
" Affectionate tender."
328 WITS AND THE WOMAN
" Helas, Mademoiselle, you do not understand!
These charming ladies of America, whose highest pur-
pose is appearance, make life a garden for a season,
each bud delicious. But our European women weld the
line of centuries. Like oak trees their roots are deep
and strong, their branches spreading, and their hearts
iron and they are proudly beautiful. You think my
wife's action unnatural. I say it was magnificent.
Devastating, hein? But magnificently natural as an
elect, ic storm. Remember the Magyar strain her
love, her ambition. Remember that Italian woman's
son had robbed her of her whole life the life of
accomplishment the life that counts. Then he flung
the facts in Mathilda's face, knowing, if she made them
public, she became a laughing stock. He was the child
of our hereditary enemy; his course a disgrace to our
name, and a menace to our country. She was right to
kill him but it broke her. She couldn't forgive
and she couldn't forget the little chap he used to be.
She went to pieces badly afterward, and Jacobs hid her
in his own place and communicated with me. But of
course she would not have had me interfere. She was
great great. The only woman I ever loved."
He sat quite silent gazing into the empty dispatch
box, so symbolic of his empty life following that lit-
tle affair with Louise.
I placed the key in his hand and folded his thin fin-
gers over it. A tear splashed on to his well manicured
nails.
" American softness charm vanity," he mur-
mured, and seemed to forget all about us.
Outside while Terry changed his tire Duffy talked
loudly of how the old lady's death had broken the
WITS AND THE WOMAN 329
Baron up. " But he'll recover, mark my words, he'll
break the bank at Monte Carlo yet. Born to do it I
say so and I'm never ha, ha ! Lots of people have
been wrong about that, haven't they ? Ha, ha ! "
My mind whirled, at one instant I was von Rath-
gartz's adopted son in person, the next I was giving
a too familiar name to a ship's officer. Duffy boomed
unheeded.
"Didn't understand half of his story de Grasse
a pal of yours I take it, and Jacobs too and Jim
Gower. Say, you must tell me all about this some other
time you're a regular big game hunter, Baroness ! "
And in a hurried voice, leaning his arms on the car
door as Terry cranked her.
" You're a pretty live wire, my girl, but not too bright
for little Willie; I sized up the situation on the Car-
bothia all right, as soon as you mentioned Jim great
chap Jim Gower, shipped his wine in variety and
thought about drinking it later. You were jealous of
the other skirt. You hugged your cabin. Ha, ha ! I
spotted you. Some time when you're feeling friendly
call me at the factory set your night and you'll not
lose by it. I always know what I want any line
that's good enough for Gower is good enough for me."
I had advanced the spark and shoved back the gas as
he talked. The rattle of the engine died suddenly so
that his last words fell sharp on the still night air.
There was a rush from the front, the quick impact of
heavy bodies, the sound of falling a moment later
we had rounded the factory corner and were racing
away down the interminable long white road. Sur-
prise gave place to pride. No man could have been
more gloriously master than the Terrier in his punish-
330 WITS AND THE WOMAN
ing attack. I gloated. I cherished a blurred memory
of his blow ; I confess to smiling happily over thought
of the prostrate Duffy.
" Who was that damned impertinent fool ? " my
companion barked at last, and didn't listen to my an-
swer.
Courage sank into my number fours. Since I quit
being a dual personality, I haven't got the proper right-
ing spirit, and I certainly didn't want to fight with
Terry. How much had he heard ? Could he possibly
misunderstand ? What had been said about Gower, the
notorious libertine ? I racked my brains to remember.
Silence and glumness were so unlike Terry. The mood
looked serious.
On and on we sped. Fields changed to lawns and
houses strung themselves on either hand, changing
again to shops. The regular lights of the city streets
floated toward us. Astonished pedestrians turned to
gape as we dashed ahead into the very heart of the
town. Traffic thickened. Terry eased off a bit, and
when our gait had settled into a gentle roll he turned to
me. As a manager he was a martinet. We all knew
the set of his jaw. I wasn't expecting any bridal bou-
quets. I realized he bulked a little larger than any-
thing else on my horizon and held my breath as he
slowed to the curb. Was he minded to sack me then
and there ?
" Clarissa," he said sternly, " when will you marry
me and put an end to all this nonsense? "
" We're in New Jersey now," I merely mentioned.
When I came up for air he roared at me, " Are you
ready? " and I answered :
"Shoot!"
THE END
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