A TRANSPORT VOYAGE 
 
 TO 
 
 THE MAURITIUS 
 
 AND BACK; 
 
 TOUCHING AT THE CAPE OP GOOD HOPE AND 
 ST. HELENA. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR OF 
 "PADDIANA;" "A HOT-WATER CURE/' ETC. 
 
 LONDON: 
 JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET. 
 
 1851.
 
 PBIKTED BY W. CLOWES AND SONS, STAMFORD STREET.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 THIS is a book of gossip. Therefore let the geo- 
 grapher, the man of statistics, the emigrant, and 
 the useful knowledge seeker, avoid it. It gives 
 neither exports nor imports holds out no finger- 
 posts to commerce and has no hints for the loca- 
 tion of unemployed labourers or distressed needle- 
 women. Dates and names, even, are suppressed or 
 altered for a reason probably obvious enough. 
 
 It is an old journal revised, though little altered ; 
 and published, the author trusts, for the entertain- 
 ment of such as may look for amusement rather 
 than instruction. 
 
 Junior United Service Club. 
 
 1057628
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 EMBARKATION Choice of Berths The Happy Family stowed 
 away Abandoned Wives and Sweethearts Other dear 
 Friends Hint from the Jackass Frigate One too many 
 The Sea Porto Santo The Desertas Madeira Fnn- 
 chal: wine; inhabitants; scenery Atrabilious Complexions 
 
 St. Antonio St. Vincent A little Stranger Thames 
 Water The Variables A Calm The Temper Latitudes 
 
 Catching a Booby Deep-Sea Sounding A Squall 
 Putting the Ducks in a clean Shirt The Chickens' 
 Teeth Page 1 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The Line Theatre afloat Heroine hands the Main-royal 
 The Porpoise Stormy Petrel Flying Fish Drifting 
 towards Patagonia A Glance at Pigafetta and Harris 
 Their Pictures of a Patagon Medical Treatment Change 
 of Stars Magellan Clouds Chastening Influence of Life 
 at Sea A Gale Birds The Flying Dutchman Ar- 
 rive at the Mauritius ... .43
 
 vi CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Port Louis Scenery Pieter Bot Harbour The Ship- 
 seer Pamplemousses Monsieur Jolly Day in the Coun- 
 try The Governor and his Hat The Adjutant-General ; 
 Anecdotes ; his Treatment of Fever French and English 
 Society Law of Divorce The Brown Boys of Monsieur 
 Philippon Page 99 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Palanquins Dr. MacMorough Black Races : Madagascar, 
 Mozambique, and Indian King Radama ; his Son appren- 
 ticed to Jolly Runaway Slaves The Iron Collar Mahe'- 
 bourg Old Dutch Settlement Climate Fruits Habitans 
 The Red Cow Lizards Land Crabs White Ants 
 Scorpions The Cockroach a Wet-nurse Snakes Leaf 
 Fly Birds Shells ; fishing for Grand River S.E. 
 Slaves Madame de ; Treatment of her Pigs . . 129 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Prepare to return to England Return by Water to Port Louis 
 
 Monsieur Peltier and La Brave Marguerite At Port Louis 
 
 The Bazaar Jolly's " Bogy " The Camp Choosing 
 a Ship An errant Yanee The " City of Bordeaux " Her 
 Passengers and Cargo Quit the Island Its Productions 
 Bourbon Madagascar A Slaver A Whaler Life at 
 the Crozets Their Cosmetic Climate Zoological Society 
 
 Algoa Bay Mrs. Hunt's The Hottentots Country 
 Inhabitants Settlers Missionaries 168
 
 CONTENTS. vii 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Name of Algoa Bay A Party of Kaffirs Comparative Prac- 
 tice of the Assagai and Rifle Ben the Indispensable 
 Washing the Hottentots The Shaving Cherub Settlers 
 Game Leave the Bay The Delagoa Skipper Mossel 
 Bay A Day at the Deer A Boer Two Female Boers A 
 Party at the Store My first Offer Again at Sea . Page 20 1 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Arrival in Table Bay The Mountains Mrs. Strnmmbumm 
 Morrison's Boarding-house Ascent of Table Mountain 
 Baboons Buggins Sahib and his Mahomedans Odd Names 
 
 Tom Holder ; History of his Cocked Hats American 
 Wit Visit to Constantia The Clock The Wines 
 
 " Posterial Luxuriance " Wild Animals The Aard- 
 vark Anecdotes of the Lion The Cape Horse Mode of 
 Hunting Deer The British Soldier 230 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 New Names of Places - Advertisements English and Dutch 
 Agitators Canals Climate Fruits Take a Passage 
 Home Stock and Passengers St, Helena Ascension 
 The Grassy Sea Cowes Boatmen Land at Dover Caution 
 against volunteering to bring Home Parcels .... 280
 
 A TRANSPORT VOYAGE, 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Embarkation Choice of Berths The Happy Family stowed 
 away Abandoned Wives and Sweethearts Other dear 
 Friends Hint from the ' Jackass' Frigate One too many 
 Tne Sea Porto Santo The Desertas Madeira Fnn- 
 chal : wine ; inhabitants ; scenery Atrabilious Complexions 
 
 St. Antonio- St. Vincent A little Stranger Thames 
 Water The Variables A Calm The Temper Latitudes 
 
 Catching a Booby Deep-Sea Sounding A Squall 
 Putting the Ducks in a clean Shirt The Chickens' Teeth. 
 
 JUNE 6th. Embarked on board the barque 
 
 340 tons, in Cork Harbour, opposite the town of 
 Cove. The vessel extremely light, and high out of 
 water. Sinks about two inches, I think, with the 
 weight of 195 men in heavy marching order, with 
 their Government allowance of eight women to 
 every hundred men, six officers, two wives of ditto, 
 about a score of children, stock, baggage, &c. &c.
 
 2 EMBARKATION. CHAP. I. 
 
 A scene of no little confusion on the decks : 
 hampers of wine, bread, beer, and groceries ; sheep, 
 pigs, goats, fowls, ducks, turkeys ; hills of chests 
 and boxes ; and 195 men, staggering under a load 
 of pipe-clay, upon the " uneasy footing of the 
 hatches." 
 
 The caterer is at his wit's end where to place his 
 stock so as to be come-at-able easiest. Embar- 
 rassed, above all, by his volatile drinks : where to 
 put his pop, so that it shall not pop ; to bury his 
 ale and porter in some cool recess, whence it may 
 only come " up" at his own bidding ; and to find a 
 place where his wine will be least liable to mulling 
 by the tropical sun. 
 
 After the 195 have been duly relieved of their 
 pipe-clay, told off to their berths, their arms and 
 accoutrements stowed away, and themselves ar- 
 rayed in white smockfrocks, a strong desire to 
 establish a home begins to manifest itself amongst 
 the officers. Being junior of that grade, I have at 
 least the satisfaction of a certainty that of getting 
 the worst berth in the ship. The Doctor is the next 
 above me, so we are chums in the cabin rejected by 
 the others. It is a box, as nearly as may be, six
 
 CHAP. I. CHOICE OF BERTHS. 3 
 
 feet square, having two bed-places, one above the 
 other, and a small washing-stand in one corner. 
 
 The Doctor is an experienced voyager ; for, 
 though young in rank, he is by no means in the 
 bloom of early youth, and, being on the staff, his 
 vocation seems to be the perpetually accompanying 
 troops to all parts of the world, and being kept, while 
 at home, with others of his calling, in some place 
 answering to a stew or tank as they keep the carp 
 next for duty where they can be laid hands upon 
 at once, and forwarded either to the ice or the stew- 
 pan, as occasion may require. 
 
 The Doctor pondered long and anxiously before 
 he decided upon which hutch was to receive his 
 person. He did this for several reasons. It gra- 
 tified his importance ; and he was a little man of 
 great importance never moved without a certain 
 air and flourish ; and out of this latter quality arose 
 an extra difficulty in his case. The upper berth was 
 undoubtedly the best, as having the advantage of a 
 scuttle about a foot in diameter, through which a 
 mouthful of fresh air might be admitted unpolluted 
 by the miscellaneous smells of the steerage. But 
 then, again, the berth is narrower, and some sacri- 
 
 B 2
 
 THE DOCTOR'S DECISION. CHAP. I. 
 
 fice of dignity is involved in the climbing up and 
 down in a state approaching to nudity to say 
 nothing of the chance of being quoited out bodily 
 when the ship rolled. 
 
 The Doctor, I say, pondered anxiously on this ; 
 but being slightly asthmatic, he ultimately threw 
 his dignity overboard and decided for the scuttle. 
 It was then stipulated that each should keep his 
 articles of the toilette suspended by a nail in his 
 separate havresack, and that one bag or port- 
 manteau for each was to be admitted into the 
 cabin ; that no chair, table, or other inconvenience, 
 was on any pretence to be admitted ; even the door 
 was to be unshipped and handed over to the Cap- 
 tain ; and the floor to be carefully scrubbed once 
 a-day with salt water, and once a- week with fresh, 
 should the supply admit of it. 
 
 1th. Getting into something ship-shape. 
 The sheep and goats in the longboat on deck ; 
 the pigs in a sty contrived under it ; tlie poultry 
 packed away in the coops, though so closely that 
 those who went in headforemost are obliged to be 
 assisted in turning their heads to the front. An 
 amazing preponderance of cocks, as was but too
 
 CHAP. I. PARTING SCENE. 5 
 
 apparent at three o'clock in the morning. An 
 order given to reverse Her Majesty's Regulations, 
 and reduce the allowance of cocks to eight per cent, 
 on the whole. An eye to the ornamental has also 
 been had : three wreaths of cabbages, tastefully 
 varied with pumpkins, hang over the stern. 
 
 An attempt at insurrection on the part of the 
 bum-boat women at being turned out of the ship. 
 Suspicions were excited by their varying shape, 
 coming on board stout, and returning comparatively 
 slender. Investigation being made, a complete 
 bustle of bladders of spirits was discovered on the 
 person of one of them. 
 
 Soldiers' wives the unfortunate rejected the 
 married without leave and those who had loved 
 " not wisely " are ordered to keep at two boats' 
 length from the ship. Hence arise scenes of ludi- 
 crous pathos. Poor Biddy in the fulness of her 
 heart must speak. Ten, nay twelve, years must 
 pass before they meet again if ever ! The voyage 
 out for her is an impossibility. Now there are 
 twenty Biddys speaking at once. The little con- 
 fidences, never intended to reach above a whisper, 
 are, when telegraphing fails, to be roared, in all the
 
 6 CASTLE-BUILDING. CHAP. I. 
 
 confusion of cross readings, and in defiance of winds 
 and waves, at a distance of twenty yards. Then 
 the bystander becomes aware upon what slender 
 foundations it is possible to build up hopes. The 
 probabilities of loans being effected upon no security 
 the wild chance of gifts the realizing of any- 
 thing approaching to the real value of their miscel- 
 laneous possessions. Property in all its varieties is 
 mysteriously touched upon. Cash, under its figu- 
 rative denominations of tin, pewter, rags, or flimsies, 
 is referred, with many a wily turn and double, to 
 old teapots, stocking-feet, or the thatch ; and the 
 probable destination of wearing apparel but too 
 frequently indicated by the upward pointing of the 
 eloquent finger. The probability of deaths is de- 
 bated, of sudden affluence by any means, even the 
 remote contingency of Uncle Barney cutting up 
 fat all having reference to the dim prospect of 
 " coming out " at some future time. Fortunately 
 it is, in some sort, the privilege of education to 
 confer a sense of the ludicrous, and there are few 
 to jeer at these " simple annals of the poor." 
 
 " You '11 be sure to write when you get there," 
 is spoken with as much simplicity as if it were an
 
 CHAP. I. MESS ARRANGEMENTS. 7 
 
 affair of the twopenny post, when the " directly " is 
 at the least four or five months' distance, and pro- 
 bably a twelvemonth will elapse before the long- 
 expected letter "comes hopping you are well, as 
 it leaves me (but too often !) very indifferent at 
 present." 
 
 8th. Had our first dinner on board, and 
 begin to shake into our places. The men begin to 
 understand the meaning of being told off six to a 
 mess ; finding that to each mess is daily handed a 
 four-pound piece of beef or pork, with a proportion 
 of flour and raisins to accompany the one, and peas 
 to make a pudding for the other not to mention 
 the biscuit and alternate tea or cocoa for breakfast. 
 Each mess carves its own number in Roman nu- 
 merals on a piece of wood attached to the beef, 
 pork, or pudding ; and each number is called aloud 
 by the cook as he fishes it up tied in a cloth from 
 the copper with his huge fork. 
 
 To-day the ladies came on board, rather turning 
 up their noses at our homely arrangements, and no 
 doubt remembering that part of the marriage vow 
 which binds them to follow their husbands for worse 
 as well as for better ; expecting, we may suppose,
 
 8 ARRIVAL OF THE LADIES. CHAP. 1. 
 
 to find the cabin lined with mahogany and mirrors, 
 and something different from the plain deal table 
 and benches, strongly cleated down and immoveable. 
 The uncarpeted floor, also, and the general rough- 
 ness of the accommodation, gave rise to sundry 
 disparaging remarks in reference to the authorities 
 charged with the regulation of such matters. 
 Mrs. Huggins felt a strong degree of nausea at 
 the smell of the bilge-water ; a remark which, 
 coming from a lady of inferior army rank, was 
 rather, resented by Mrs. Muggins, who could not 
 for her part help thinking that some people found 
 fault with things from affectation a rather unfa- 
 vourable beginning this for the harmony of the 
 respective houses of Huggins and Muggins during 
 the four or five months they were likely to be shut 
 up together. Neither did the choice of cabins, 
 effected by the husbands without previous con- 
 sultation with their better halves, altogether suit 
 the views or inclinations of the latter ; hence a 
 well-sustained murmuring, faintly audible through 
 the bulk-heads after retirement, was naturally 
 referred to curtain lectures inflicted upon the delin- 
 quents. " Tantaene animis ?" What a pity !
 
 CHAP. I. MYSTERIOUS VISITORS. 9 
 
 In company with the ladies came certain fresh- 
 killed joints to hang with our wreaths over the 
 stem, and good store of newly but double 
 baked bread (hard even at starting), to keep us as 
 long as possible from the stern necessity of biscuit ; 
 than which a more hateful substitute for bread 
 was never devised by man. 
 
 There came also one or two dark-complexioned 
 gentlemen, who took people aside and spoke mys- 
 teriously in reference to certain manuscripts which 
 they produced from their pocketbooks, and making 
 distant allusion to a rough-looking individual in 
 the boat below ; departing, nevertheless, with much 
 alacrity and the best of wishes, on the deposit of 
 certain notes of the Bank of Ireland in the aforesaid 
 pocketbooks, in return for which they kindly left 
 their autographs. 
 
 This day also came on board a functionary to 
 give me the offer of remaining at home, on the plea 
 of expected promotion ; but I had cast in my lot 
 with the outward-bound ; I wanted to see the world, 
 and declined the offer. 
 
 9M. The blue peter has been flying since 
 six in the morning ; the topsails are shaken out ; 
 
 B3
 
 10 HINT FROM THE JACKASS FRIGATE. CHAP. I. 
 
 the skipper, a rosy, good-humoured, round little 
 man, is come aboard ; the anchor is hove short, and 
 we probably hold on to Old Ireland by only half a 
 fluke. Still at half-past eight we are waiting for 
 some " dilatory man " sent to settle our pecuniary 
 affairs in Cove. The skipper looks anxiously to- 
 ward the man-of-war, a jackass frigate, lying lower 
 down the harbour, and who, in spite of her calm ap- 
 pearance, is doubtless keeping a fiery eye upon our 
 proceedings. " We shall soon hear from that 
 fellow," was the remark of some one, scarcely 
 spoken before a jet of smoke burst from her dark 
 hull bang ! and up ran certain bits of red and 
 blue and yellow to her gaff-end, saying, as plainly 
 as angry bunting could say, " What the devil are 
 you waiting for ?" After a while down they come 
 again, and up goes more fierce and angry bunt- 
 ing, intimating to the initiated that we might look 
 out for some cold iron through our topsails unless 
 we instantly made sail. The fact is, there was a 
 martinet on board that jackass frigate, a circum- 
 stance of which we might have gone away in total 
 ignorance but for this little demonstration. 
 
 Then, at the last moment, we muster all hands,
 
 CHAP. I. ONE TOO MANY. 11 
 
 men, women, and children. To prevent mistakes, 
 two non-commissioned officers with the mate go 
 rummaging through the hold amongst the baggage, 
 prying with lantern into every corner, and there, 
 alas ! huddled behind a coil of the chain cable, they 
 find one too many. She is brought on deck, a 
 slender girl of scarce seventeen, begrimed with 
 coal, and rust, and tears. Plow she came there it 
 would be almost inhuman to inquire. Her hus- 
 band was little older than herself a good man, 
 and they were lately married. There is a pretty 
 general look of compassion for her speechless 
 agony. Is there no way of taking her ? seems to 
 be a question on most features. Can't the trans- 
 port laws be stretched, most noble skipper? He 
 points tohia "indent," and shakes his head. Does 
 no one want a nurse, or a maid, whether for house 
 or parlour, where abundance of footmen are kept ? 
 No one want a fine, healthy, general servant ? if 
 no one speaks, she's gone I Unhappy bachelors, to 
 whom the question has no reference ! Meantime an 
 old leathern purse has gone about from hand to hand, 
 getting heavier as it goes gets heavier still with 
 coppers " forrud," changes into an old bag, and is
 
 12 THE SEA. CHAP. I. 
 
 said to be placed in her hand, scarce conscious of 
 holding it. Then there is a sobbing, a scuffle, and 
 a hideous scream of grief as the boat casts off; but 
 most people are looking at the jackass frigate, 
 which we then happen to be passing. 
 
 , Wth. " The sea, the sea, the wide and open 
 sea!" We are fairly entered on our nautical 
 existence, in which, truth to say, there is but little 
 poetry. We begin to feel it not so pleasant to keep 
 watch for four hours at a time both day and night, 
 there being only three to it. True, the dog- 
 watches, of which there are two in the twenty-four 
 hours, are each of only two hours' duration, and so 
 called, according to the facetious derivation, from 
 being cwr-tailed. To go through this and other 
 duties, such as superintending the scouring of 
 berths below, seeing the messes served out, &c., 
 when a man is sick, and those amongst whom he 
 moves still more sick, has rather the effect of dis- 
 enchanting one of any ideas, previously formed, of 
 the pleasures of a sea life. 
 
 As the breeze freshens, all female and infant 
 forms disappear from the deck, dragging down 
 with them in most cases their natural protectors.
 
 CHAP. I. PIG-KILLING. 13 
 
 Still the wind is fair, the weather delightful : 
 plenty of ships in sight coming up from the south 
 and west, as well as the wind will let them, and steer- 
 ing for the British Channel. We exchange colours 
 with all within reach, and the British ensign bears 
 at least the proportion of ten to one of any other 
 nation. 
 
 12th. We are fairly in the blue ocean water, 
 and feel the long Atlantic swell. A terrible roller 
 our light vessel. 
 
 The sun goes down upon a most wilful murder 
 our first pig is sacrificed. It is an event in the 
 ship. His screams are heartrending, but there is 
 no pity. Real butchers are not to seek, but every 
 man seems whetting an imaginary knife to join in 
 his destruction. Whether in a village or a ship, 
 I am inclined to think that pig-killing day brings 
 with it more pleasurable excitement than any other 
 of the ordinary events of life. The epicurean en- 
 joyment of his "fry" was on this occasion some- 
 what dashed by one of the sacrificing augurs entering 
 too minutely into deductions from the entrails. 
 
 24th. Land on the starboard bow. Small 
 lumps of the faintest grey colour are pronounced to
 
 14 FUJsCHAL. CHAP. I. 
 
 be Porto Santo, a small group of islands to the 
 
 ^C 
 north of Madeira. A dark-coloured gull of longer 
 
 wing and a sharper flight observed, and rapidly 
 increasing as we advance. We are foaming before a 
 north-east wind at the rate of 9| knots an hour. Land 
 again on the larboard side ; the Desertas, two con- 
 siderable islands, of a rugged mountainous character 
 and of a yellowish-red colour, set in the deep blue 
 sea, with a white fringe of surf at their bases. And 
 here is seen the advantage of climate in setting off a 
 place ; the green hills and fertile plains of Ireland 
 looking scarcely so attractive under her cloudy skies 
 and frequent drizzle, as did these treeless and ver- 
 dureless islands, invested with the splendour of an 
 African sun. Right ahead is the massive island 
 of Madeira. We bring to off Funchal at 8 P.M. 
 The lights of the town sparkle against the dark 
 mountain side, but we are at some miles' distance. 
 We fire a gun for a boat, and make hideous noises 
 with a gong and bell, but no one is rash enough to 
 come off to us. As vegetables and wine are desir- 
 able, the skipper proposes to lie off and on till day- 
 light. 
 
 i. At dawn we are at least six miles
 
 CHAP. I. THE HEALTH OFFICER. 15 
 
 from the island, nor can we prevail upon our 
 cautious skipper to approach nearer, probably fear- 
 ful of harbour-dues. Three of us, with two of the 
 crew and a marketing party of four grenadiers and 
 a serjeant, put off in the jolly-boat a weary pull in 
 the morning sun ; and the boat so leaky that two 
 men are employed in baling her out. Nestled 
 close under the fort we find one of our transports 
 that sailed the same day from Cork harbour, and 
 has been here two days. The health officer, a little 
 man in an enormous cocked hat, comes out to meet 
 us, and say " How do you do ?" He politely re- 
 ceives our papers, including the surgeon's certi- 
 ficate, with a pair of tongs, nor does he venture any 
 nearer contact till assured by us of the perfect 
 health of all on board. Finding he can pick no 
 hole in our coats, we are permitted to pull to the 
 transport to partake of a sumptuous breakfast, not 
 the least attractive part of which was the delicious 
 fruit. 
 
 After to Mr. Penfold, the wine-merchant a 
 merchant prince, to judge from his house. Vast 
 saloons covered with matting, and little encum- 
 bered with furniture; the windows opening into
 
 16 FUNCHAL^ CHAP. I. 
 
 shady verandahs, and the banana- trees gently 
 waving their long leaves, as if it were their peculiar 
 duty to fan the house and keep it cool. 
 
 Our host, an English gentleman, informed us 
 that samples of their wines would soon be ready in 
 an adjoining apartment. Thither, in effect, we 
 were shortly summoned, and found a handsome 
 luncheon served, of hot and cold, heaps of fruit 
 bananas, oranges, melons, grapes, and an array of 
 ticketed and numbered decanters, enough to have 
 convinced Father Mathew himself of the error of 
 his ways. At a side-table sat a clerk with an enor- 
 mous ledger, to which the numbers on the bottles 
 under trial were referred ; and it was gratifying to 
 find that our tastes so nearly coincided with those 
 of the great potentates of Europe. 
 
 " This we sent to the Emperor of Russia, and His 
 Imperial Majesty was pleased to avow his high ap- 
 proval." " His Highness of Baden expressed him- 
 self much gratified with this sample." " You think 
 well of the flavour of this ? Prince Metternich had a 
 large consignment of it last year." " This, I assure 
 you, has given great satisfaction to the Sultan, who 
 takes a bottle of it, medicinally, every day." Queens
 
 CHAP. I. WINES. 17 
 
 and princesses figured in the ledger. His Holiness 
 liked a mild wine ; the Pacha of Egypt, on the con- 
 trary, preferred it full and fruity. To Mahomed- 
 ans, no doubt, it afforded an additional zest, when 
 the pleasure of sinning was added to the gust of 
 drinking. So many kings and queens were mixed 
 up with our potations, that we seemed to be pass- 
 ing the bottle with the Lord's anointed. One gen- 
 tleman, with an imperial taste, and setting aside 
 all court etiquette, applied more than once to a 
 favourite decanter, with the familiar invitation of 
 " Emperor, another glass ?" 
 
 Dreading the " inflammation of our weekly bills," 
 we eschewed the royal samples, contenting ourselves 
 with a hot-military variety of less pretension, a 
 quarter-cask of which was sent down to the boat, 
 and a not illiberal order given to our hospitable 
 entertainer to forward direct to the Mauritius. 
 The best quality of wine 46/. a pipe : the same in 
 London 76Z. 
 
 Madeira has been so often described that it 
 would be somewhat superfluous in me to enlarge 
 upon that subject. Beautiful it unquestionably is, 
 but scarcely coming up to the glowing descriptions
 
 18 ATRABILIOUS COMPLEXIONS. CHAP. I. 
 
 of travellers. Its beauties are probably exagger- 
 ated from the fact of its being the first land which 
 the voyager falls in with after leaving England on 
 his southward or westward course ; and the entire 
 novelty of the scene, the softness of the climate, and 
 the good spirits attendant upon getting for the first 
 time on shore since leaving home, may not unna- 
 turally tinge his description with a couleur de rose. 
 
 No philanthropist can walk the streets of Fun- 
 chal without regretting his omission to provide 
 himself with a box of blue pills for the sake of 
 trying what effect might be produced upon the 
 Portuguese complexion. How is it that the Por- 
 tuguese complexion is more utterly nasty, more atra- 
 bilious and toadlike, than that of any other people 
 on the face of the earth, either in their own lati- 
 tude or out of it ? 
 
 There is, too, a grossness of habit indicated in 
 their fat, pursy figures, and yellow eyes, which 
 nothing but the pil : hydrarg : would remove. 
 
 They are a most ceremonious people. Never 
 did I see hats taken off with more persevering and 
 unmitigated rigour. No one passes an acquaint- 
 anceand they seem nearly all acquainted with-
 
 CHAP. I. CEREMOMOUSXESS. 19 
 
 out raising the hat, so that they may pass each 
 other uncovered. It is curious to look along a 
 street and see nearly all the hats in the air. To 
 pass without this ceremony, under any circum- 
 stances, is impossible. If two men run against 
 each other at the corner of a street, they snatch off 
 their hats with such convulsive energy, for fear of 
 being too late, that one is at first alarmed lest they 
 should be going to knock each other down with 
 their heavy beavers. It does not seem to have 
 occurred to any hatter to renew the brims of hats, 
 which are usually worn out while the head-piece 
 remains fresh. 
 
 The ladies have a worn, listless appearance, and 
 are dressed with singular unbecomingness : unmiti- 
 gated black, without even the intervention of a 
 collar between the dress and the yellow skin. They 
 are not so absolutely atrabilious as the men ; still I 
 could rarely help muttering as I passed them, 
 " I vel II hora somni." They are carried about 
 in palanquins of a singularly inconvenient structure, 
 hanging from the bearing-pole so low as barely to 
 clear the ground, and rendering a very long pole 
 necessary to keep the machine clear of the bearers'
 
 20 FUNCHAL. CHAP. I. 
 
 shins as they go up and down hill and there is 
 little level ground in Funchal. The peasantry are 
 very picturesque. The men wear a short blue or 
 white jacket, unbuttoned, and showing the generally 
 clean shirt, very large white linen breeches, and 
 high yellow-leather boots wrinkled down and show- 
 ing the bare stockingless leg between the boot and 
 breeches ; on their heads a very small conical blue 
 cap, barely covering the crown of the head, and 
 more for show than use. Our visit happened on a 
 Sunday, so probably we saw the natives dressed in 
 their best. 
 
 We passed the door of the English church just 
 as service was over ; the congregation excited a me- 
 lancholy interest mostly thin, pale, fragile forms, 
 with but little to inspire hope in their too -bright 
 eyes. 
 
 The town is good and the streets pleasantly 
 narrow. The cathedral shows in its interior a great 
 appearance of the precious metals, whether sterling 
 or not. 
 
 The abundance of ice, which in a warm climate 
 is an almost indispensable comfort, is not one of the 
 least advantages of Madeira ; and to this may be
 
 CHAP. I. MUTINOUS SAILORS. 21 
 
 added the exquisite fruit and vegetables. The 
 thermometer was at 74 ; we were informed that it 
 rises sometimes to 90, though the usual range is 
 from 70 to 80. 
 
 We left Madeira with much regret the more 
 so as our friends in the other transport were most 
 hospitably entertained on shore every day ; but there 
 was no help for it. We found that our marketing 
 party had spent their money so judiciously that the 
 boat was heaped up with good things, among which 
 our cask of wine stood conspicuous. It was no 
 easy matter to insinuate ourselves amongst the fish, 
 flesh, fowl, and fruit. The two sailors were drunk 
 and mutinous would neither pull themselves nor 
 suffer others to do so. It became necessary to take 
 strong measures. They were at once knocked down, 
 bound hand and foot, and laid under the thwarts 
 forward, while a grenadier with a stretcher in his 
 hand was ordered to administer it most libe- 
 rally upon the slightest movement on their part. 
 About ten o'clock we finished a weary pull to the 
 ship. 
 
 2Sth. Saw our first flying-fish ; we flushed him 
 under the bows, and he took a half circular flight
 
 22 CAPE DE VERDES. CHAP. I. 
 
 of about two hundred yards. Some people expected 
 to see these fish soaring in the air like birds. 
 
 29f/t. Pass the tropic of Cancer, 1000 miles 
 from Madeira : since leaving that island scarcely a 
 bird has been seen. 
 
 July 3rd. It is decided to pass between the 
 islands of Antonio and St. Vincent, two of the Cape 
 de Verdes. At nine in the morning we are sup- 
 posed to be entering the channel between them, but 
 not a vestige of either land is to be seen. There 
 is no appearance of mist, and the horizon is plainly 
 visible. With the steady trade wind and a good 
 look-out, abundant observations, both solar and 
 lunar, the authorities are rather wondering what 
 can have become of two considerable islands, which, 
 from their height, ought to be seen fifty or sixty 
 miles off. We descend to breakfast, entertaining 
 some faint suspicions that the science of navigation 
 is not without its mistakes ; that our daily tele- 
 graphing with the sun has been conducted upon 
 false principles ; or, what is more likely, that the 
 moon has jilted us in the longitude, and we are far 
 away to the westward. While the grumblers were 
 hard at work in their vocation, there is a startling
 
 CHAP. I. ANTONIO AND ST. VINCENT. 23 
 
 cry of " Land on the lee bow !" followed almost 
 immediately by " Land on the weather beam !" 
 We rush on deck, and never did curtain rise upon 
 a more glorious scene ! so startling from its 
 suddenness, that it seemed like magic. On the 
 starboard side apparently close to us rose an 
 enormous, broken, irregular rocky mountain, to the 
 height of 8400 feet (more than twice the height of 
 Snowdon), the island of Antonio. On the other 
 side was the still more irregular and broken, but 
 somewhat lower, mountainous outline of St. Vincent. 
 Both were partially covered with parched vegeta- 
 tion, but no living thing that we could see. There 
 was something awful in the desert-look of the land 
 and the shipless and boatless sea: as we passed 
 through the channel our telescopes failed to dis- 
 cover any trace of inhabitants. Even the appear- 
 ance of vegetation in the deep ravines was some- 
 what apocryphal, and there was not a bird upon the 
 deep blue sea. Both islands are, nevertheless, in- 
 habited, though on the other sides. 
 
 At this crisis a " little stranger " is announced as 
 having made his appearance in our small world, 
 and destined by general acclamation to bear the
 
 24 THAMES WATER. CHAP. I. 
 
 name of Antonio. In the mean time he is entered 
 on the books, and commences drawing his allowance 
 of beef, pork, peas, flour, cocoa, tea, sugar, biscuit, 
 and grog to be consumed by either self or 
 deputy. 
 
 We see something from time to time in the 
 columns of newspapers and other places about the 
 impurities of Thames water ; but for a practical 
 acquaintance with that subject I recommend the 
 curious inquirer to take a voyage in one of Her 
 Majesty's transports from the port of London. It 
 purifies itself, say the apologists ; and so to a cer- 
 tain extent it does : but the process of purification 
 is far from rapid, during which it exhibits various 
 forms of putridity, and a variety of colours, as the 
 runnings from gas-works or sewers may predominate 
 in each particular cask. And when it is considered 
 that the water on board ship is never thrown away 
 or exchanged, that you have a certain allowance, 
 which, like the " choice " of the celebrated Mr. 
 Hobson, is " that or none," the least you have a 
 right to expect is, that some part of its purgatory 
 process should be gone through previous to its being 
 taken on board. Besides, it is hardly fair to make
 
 CHAP. I. THE TEMPER LATITUDES. 25 
 
 our tea and soup, and wash our faces and mouths, 
 with sewage-manure water, when there is a duly 
 registered company depending for their profits on 
 its valuable deposits. The man who draws the 
 bung of each cask steps aside, forewarned, and lets 
 a noxious gas escape. 
 
 Abandoned by the north-east trade wind, we 
 come into a latitude aptly enough called " the 
 Variables," where even the inconstant wind is more 
 variable than elsewhere where the powers of the 
 air seem to be gasping like ourselves, too indolent 
 to give a strong or a long puff from any point. 
 For this part of the globe I would take the liberty 
 of suggesting the name of the Temper latitudes. 
 At length the old ship seems fairly brought to 
 anchor on the Line. 
 
 Twenty-one days in the latitude of zero ; or 
 rising into hope a few seconds south, then falling back 
 to despair a few minutes north twenty-one days 
 of dead, leaden, glazed, windless water ; stagnant, 
 sweltering air ; gray, hazy sky. Scarcely was there 
 a sign of life, except when some unseen monster 
 flushed a covey of flying-fish. Then the dreary 
 complaining of the half-blind poultry some wholly
 
 26 OUR LIVE-STOCK. CHAP. I. 
 
 blind from the sun their heads swelled sick ! 
 And to watch the morning progress of that ruthless 
 executioner Jemmy Ducks so called from his office 
 the Jack Ketch of the ship. He is the general 
 disturber of deathbeds the anticipator of fate. 
 Does a turkey droop, pensive and uncomplaining ? 
 a chicken hang the wing, or give an hysterical 
 catch of the throat ? a duck lie down to die ? 
 they are caught up hastily in their last moments 
 and hurried to the forecastle our Tower Hill 
 and in another minute their bodies are hanging 
 over the boat. The worst cases go into curry, as 
 being the state least favourable to post mortem 
 examination ; less afflicted patients are boiled or 
 roasted. And how incongruous it is to hear the 
 bleating of sheep, raising an idea of buttercups and 
 daisies in an atmosphere of tar and bilge-water. 
 In the dead-alive scene it is a positive pleasure to 
 hear a sharp outcry from the piggery, the angry 
 remonstrance of some overlaid member of that 
 community shaking off the unnecessary blanket. 
 
 For a day or two we get on well enough the 
 glassy sea is a change of scenery from hills to 
 plain ; but the spirits sink as you watch every
 
 CHAP. I. INVOKING A BREEZE. 27 
 
 failing breath of air dying away in smaller and 
 smaller catspaws, till not a scratch remains upon 
 the polished face of the ocean. 
 
 Suddenly every man has taken to whistle, catch- 
 ing the habit one from another : the captain coun- 
 tenances the practice by example ; the mate blows 
 stronger than he, but still with a sort of mystery, 
 and looking anxiously at the desired point. The 
 sailors tarring the backstays or mending a sail, 
 the boys aloft, the watch on deck, all whistle gently 
 as they look up from their work ; and even the man 
 at the wheel relieves himself of pent-up tobacco- 
 juice that he may furtively assist in raising the 
 wind. Presently the landsmen take it up, impa- 
 tiently, and as if the breeze could be bullied into 
 the service ; scandalizing the regular practitioners 
 by making a joke of the invocation. 
 
 Then it is that men take to reading who never 
 read before ; and the most unlikely books obtain 
 attention. Dictionaries, changing their character 
 of books of reference, become the light reading of a 
 livelong day ; and a last year's almanac, if it had 
 the luck to feel, might, like an aged coquette, 
 rejoice in renewed conquests. With what a dreamy 
 
 c2
 
 28 LIGHT READING. CHAP. I. 
 
 interest does the reader pore over the motions of 
 the sun and moon and the happy prognostications 
 of Moore or Murphy, discovering that " fine warm 
 weather may be expected about this time." Then 
 he stumbles upon strange saints that he never heard 
 of before, and wonders who were St. Britius, and 
 Remigius, and Eunurchus, and Nicomedius, and 
 where they lived, and what they did but cheering 
 up at the name of St. Lucy. And then he wishes 
 how heartily ! that he could do as the compiler 
 recommends, too happy to earth-up celery, or hoe 
 beans, or even spread dung upon the fallows, had 
 he such a happy chance ; and, seeing the sweltering 
 condition of himself and friends, almost smiles at 
 the recommendation to " keep calves warm." 
 
 And all along from day to day the thing grew 
 worse, and no mere human tempers could stand it. 
 The firmest friends became estranged, no longer 
 seeking, but avoiding each other. While Orestes 
 was on deck, Pylades had turned in ; if Nisus sat 
 upon the turkeys, Euryalus was with the ducks ; 
 Castor in the cuddy thought not of Pollux on the 
 poop : each fled the face of the other. Question a 
 man, and you feel that you have deserved abuse ;
 
 CHAP. I. FATE OF THE FOUR HOLLANDERS." 29 
 
 ask him to move, and you have made an enemy for 
 life. The caterer is huffed at any criticism of his 
 dinner. Pea-soup becomes a personal affair ; and 
 the question of with celery or without launches us 
 into all the bitterness of party. He stands or falls 
 with his pudding; and would at once go out of 
 office at the most hypothetical reference to a bad 
 egg. He who has charge of the wine angrily 
 throws his keys overboard at a corked bottle ; and 
 even the fiddler, at discord with himself and others, 
 hurls away his bow at the perpetration of a false 
 note. After a fortnight or so we begin to read 
 with an interest never felt before of what Hakluyt's 
 " Four Hollanders " suffered in their voyage to these 
 parts, and find our condition verging fast towards a 
 similar state. " Our fleshe and fishe stunke, our 
 bisket molded, our beere sowred, our water stunke, 
 and our butter became as thinne as oyle ;" and the 
 still worse case of that unfortunate * Pilgrim ' of 
 Purchas, Giovanni de Empoli, who " saith that on 
 his return out of India he was heere detained foure- 
 
 and-fifty days and in thirty-five days they 
 
 cast overboard threescore and sixteen of their com- 
 pany, very few surviving in their ship." A tiff
 
 MISERIES OF A CALM. CHAP. I. 
 
 in such cases is almost a godsend, as opening a 
 safety-valve of sharp language ; for every one feels 
 himself an overcharged boiler, ready and rather 
 anxious to burst. In the depth of your selfish 
 distress, you have no pity for the complaining 
 poultry. A querulous turkey draws down your 
 coarse anathema ; even a hard-quacking duck moves 
 you. You take less and less pleasure in nursing a 
 baby, objecting to be pawed about the face by his 
 innocent sticky hands. Nay, to such a pitch has 
 your milk of human kindness been curdled, that 
 you loathe the unconscious innocent sprawling on 
 the deck beside you, and reciting, perhaps for 
 hours, in a monotonous chant, passages in the lives 
 of Sally Waters or Margery Daw. Such trifles 
 may not improbably drive you out of the silentest 
 corner, or perhaps into the maintop. Even the 
 ladies have lost their attractions with their tidiness ; 
 you have got beyond all that ; hair hangs tangled 
 and unkempt ; collars have mostly disappeared ; 
 they have come to no-smiles and black silk 
 stockings. 
 
 And the hot, stifling nights breathless, stagnant, 
 still the silence only broken by the wearisome
 
 CHAP. I. MISERIES OF A CALM. 31 
 
 groaning of the ship as she seems to ease by a 
 turn her old bed-ridden bones ; and the gasping 
 collapse of a sail against the blocks and halyards 
 startles you as if she had reached her last sigh and 
 rattle. 
 
 Then arises the exhalation of bilge-water, 
 mixed with no laughing gas. Our ship is a new 
 one uncomfortably tight makes no water, as the 
 phrase is ; and with some grain from a former cargo 
 adrift in her impenetrable depths, which, mixing in 
 a fermented state with the putrid water, generates 
 a gas which turns the white paint black. 
 
 Even the sea becomes untidy, for we cannot 
 escape from our rubbish. It would drive any con- 
 scientious housemaid distracted to see the helpless 
 litter of the ocean. Straw, chips, paper, dust, 
 hampers, rags, float about us ; and we are the sun 
 of a planetary system of empty bottles. Port, with 
 his dirty-white waistcoat, seems at odds with his 
 fair partner of Xeres, and nodding the other way. 
 The stout Hodgson and the stout Guinness are 
 coquetting with the delicate embonpoint of Schweppe 
 or the suggestive Pop ; and amongst the company 
 might be noticed, with his arm akimbo, the burly
 
 32 A SEA-ATTORNEY. CHAP. I. 
 
 form of one who came over from Rotterdam in the 
 gin line. 
 
 Looking attentively at the rubbish, you fancy a 
 motion in a thin filmy substance rising into a 
 triangle with the water-line. It is something more 
 than fancy, for a watchful eye sees it palpably steal 
 through the dust and straw. The inexperienced 
 may imagine a breeze wafting the light substance 
 along, but the old voyager recognises the dorsal fin 
 of a shark. It is the sea-attorney, prowling stealthily 
 round his clients, and making out his little bill of 
 fare. Avoid him as carefully as you would his 
 prototype on shore ; for men's limbs are his six- 
 and-eightpences, and there is no taxing his costs. 
 He battens upon wrecks like the other. An aban- 
 doned crew are his suitors in Chancery, dropping 
 one by one into his jaws ; a foundering ship is his 
 bubble railroad, and the struggling swimmers his 
 provisional committee. Sometimes, though rarely, 
 we get the better of him ; and then what rejoicing 
 at the defeat of a common enemy ! what intense 
 satisfaction to see him the victim of his own 
 greediness ! and how ready are we to help the 
 carpenter in striking him off the rolls.
 
 CHAP. I. EATING AN ENEMY. 33 
 
 We have even a more ample revenge upon this 
 sea variety than we would wish with the other. 
 We run up a New Zealand intimacy with him.* 
 Most people fancying they are doing an act of 
 wild justice try him once ; though few I appre- 
 hend are tempted to come again : and I have inva- 
 riably noticed an anxious and uncomfortable ex- 
 pression in the faces of those who are tempted to go 
 this length. There is a villanous no-taste about 
 him more nauseous than the most pronounced nas- 
 tiness. Disguise him as you will appropriately 
 broil and devil him call in all the adjuncts of 
 Lazenby or Burgess you still feel that you have 
 taken an enemy into your citadel. And there is, 
 besides, a half consciousness of being a oannibal at 
 second hand. Persons rarely sit long at table after 
 shark ; their exit perhaps hastened by some coarse 
 jest of the mate, who inquires of the steward in an 
 under tone what became of the oleatl- man's foot 
 that was found in the shark's stomach. This 
 functionary, who is blessed with a dry uncouth wit, 
 generally finds an anecdote on occasions of distress. 
 
 * " You knew Brown ?" asked an inquiring traveller of his 
 friendly chief. " Plenty well : I eat him ! " 
 
 c3
 
 34 A BOOBY. CHAP. I. 
 
 He informs his next neighbour in a confidential 
 undertone that it was just such a fish as this he 
 could a'raost swear it was the same that eat an 
 aunt of his in Barbadoes. " And wery curious, 
 was'nt it, as he should have spit out her stays and 
 bustle as he was a-chewing of her ?" 
 
 Next to the capture of a sea-attorney, there are 
 few greater godsends than the arrival of a booby. 
 He is an early riser, and mostly appears about 
 breakfast- time. The cat is the first to see him, 
 and attracts attention by her restless motions, the 
 rising of her back-fur, and her enormous tail. She 
 is, however, too cautious under any circumstances 
 to attempt the capture, or even to leave the hull of 
 the vessel. Taking the direction of the cat's eyes, 
 face after face, grinning horribly in the morning 
 sun, is lifted towards the royal yard-arm, where sits 
 in fancied security the dreamy bird. Boy Dick 
 already has him by anticipation ; and shoeless and 
 stockingless is quickly crawling up the ratlines to 
 effect his capture. 
 
 In vain does the black and greasy cook, with 
 shirt-sleeves rolled above the elbow, hold up his 
 ladleful of cocoa and call aloud for the tins of
 
 CHAP. I. BOY DICK'S DEXTERITY. 35 
 
 No. 1 mess ; but the eyes of No. 1 are going aloft 
 with Boy Dick. The orderly officer, seated on the 
 bulwark, and holding on by a vang, has slewed 
 himself round to see the fun ; and the cook himself, 
 after a fruitless effort to bale out the breakfasts, 
 draws his hairy wrist across his eyes, and, screwing 
 a shade out of his facial muscles, looks aloft with 
 the rest, 
 
 Boy Dick has suddenly become famous. He is 
 now at the futtock shrouds. On any ordinary occa- 
 sion he would have eschewed these, preferring the 
 safer and more inglorious course of the lubber's 
 hole ; but now he disdains the pusillanimous com- 
 promise he had rather lose the booby than do it. 
 Keeping his eyes upon the bird, as if to show how 
 easily he can overcome the laws of gravity, he 
 lounges with affected carelessness though holding 
 fast by the toes round the edge of the top, and 
 then addresses himself to the second flight. Not 
 an eye upon deck that is not directed towards Boy 
 Dick. The man at the helm leans idly over the 
 wheel neglecting his course, and, though the sails 
 are lifting, the mate is too much taken up with the 
 booby to cry " No higher." Even the Doctor,
 
 36 THE CAPTURE. CHAP. I. 
 
 whose whole conduct is founded on the nil admi- 
 rari plan, has thrust his half-shaved face up the 
 hatch, and asks, " What do you see ?" " A booby, 
 Sir," is the ready answer of one who looks hard at 
 him ; but the " knavish speech sleeps in a foolish 
 ear." 
 
 Boy Dick has surmounted the cross-trees, and is 
 swarming up the royal halyards he is up to, and 
 leaning over, the yard he is silently and stealthily 
 sliding along the foot-lines towards the booby, who 
 thrusts out his head with a stupid stare, as much 
 as to say, " Who are you ?" Meantime bets are 
 freely offered and taken. Inches of pigtail are 
 about to change hands. Many think he won't 
 catch him others, again, think he will. If any- 
 thing, the boy is the favourite ; but a slight lift of 
 the wing sends up the bird two to one. Boy Dick 
 makes play along the foot-rope he has taken his 
 hand from the yard and gently raised it over the 
 bird the booby cocks his eye at the coming 
 stranger, but moves not gradually the hand de- 
 scends the fingers close Hah ! every one draws 
 a long breath as the prize is seized. His elegy is 
 sung by one of the losers
 
 CHAP. I. DEEP SEA SOUNDING. 37 
 
 " Well, the divle a softer chap than that never 
 I see!" 
 
 Among other attempts at killing time was that 
 of sounding the depths of old Ocean, with a view to 
 test the strength of his embrace in his own strong- 
 holds. It is a popular notion that an empty bottle, 
 lowered to a great depth, will infallibly be found 
 full of water on being drawn up (some people, to 
 make the marvel the greater, say fresh water). 
 Doubts arose upon this point, and it was deter- 
 mined to defeat, if possible, this intrinsic propensity 
 of the sea. With this view, a strong empty porter- 
 bottle was procured, into which was thrust a stick 
 as large as could be introduced into the neck, and 
 which was cut to such a length as, when one end 
 rested on the bottom of the bottle, the other came 
 about half way up the neck. Down upon this 
 stick was then driven a well-fitting new cork, which 
 it was evident, as the stick fitted the neck, could 
 not by any amount of force be driven into the 
 bottle without breaking the stick. The cork then 
 being cut off even with the top of the neck, four 
 sound pieces of bladder were laid down over the 
 cork and lashed tightly with several layers of
 
 38 AN EXPERIMENT. CHAP. I. 
 
 tarred twine round the whole outside of the neck, 
 which was then dipped repeatedly into hot pitch, 
 forming a smooth coating over all. The bottle, so 
 secured, was then made fast to the deep-sea line, a 
 few feet above the lead, and lowered to a depth 
 of some hundred fathoms. On being almost im- 
 mediately hauled up, these appearances presented 
 themselves. The bottle was unbroken, but the 
 pitch had been chipped off the upper part of the 
 neck ; there was a small ragged hole through each 
 layer of bladder ; the cork retained its place, 
 though completely saturated with water ; the stick 
 was unbroken, and the bottle was full ! A pretty 
 fair proof of the enormous pressure of the sea at 
 great depths. 
 
 It was when things were at the worst, after 
 twenty-two days' calm, and people were got beyond 
 even quarrelling with their bread and butter 
 though they might have done more unreasonable 
 things, seeing that the one was entirely mouldy, 
 and the other served out with a spoon when a 
 coming change was visible. Dull clouds had risen, 
 but still there was no wind. In one spot the heavy 
 mass descended nearer and nearer to the surface,
 
 CHAP. I. A SQUALL. 39 
 
 as if the great black-muzzled monster had a mind 
 to kiss the fair face of the ocean ; and suddenly 
 thrusting forth its liquorish lips, it sucked up the 
 smooth surface, holding it aloft with a fond dal- 
 liance as it sweeps along. The spell of the calm 
 is broken, or soon to be so. Down come the royals 
 and studding-sails, in topgallant sails, clew up the 
 courses they are fairly stripping the old ship 
 naked ; scarcely decent to cut away every flounce 
 and furbelow. Here it comes a white line on the 
 water, raising the sea into smoke. " Starboard 
 port starboard steady keep her before it !" 
 The old lady had suddenly started from her arm- 
 chair into five, seven, nine knots an hour. Still 
 the breeze increases, furious tearing; the rattle 
 of block and cordage ; the flap of ill-secured 
 sails, scarce heard in the roar of the squall. " All 
 hands shorten sail!" Hurrah! staggering up 
 through the mist go the whole ship's crew, holding 
 on for life. Suddenly the wind has shifted a point 
 or two, or the men at the helm have failed to meet 
 her as she came to, and we are laid over till the 
 yard-arms well nigh dip in the sea. Seated astride 
 upon the very end of the yard to leeward is the
 
 40 A SHOWER-BATH. CHAP. I. 
 
 hardy second mate capless his hair like to 
 follow ; and we fear the next roll will bury him, 
 yard and all, in the deep. 
 
 Suddenly some one has pulled the string of the 
 shower-bath, and down it comes in a torrent of 
 marbles faster, thicker, heavier every moment. 
 You have thrown off all unnecessary clothing, and 
 stand against the weight of water as well as you 
 can, holding on by a vang. Your parched skin 
 seems to hiss under it: it is a bath, the luxury 
 of which defies the power of description to pre- 
 sent, as it does the cunning of human invention to 
 equal. 
 
 And 'this is the time to do the ducks a good 
 turn. We are all fellow-creatures ; and I pity him 
 who can only make their acquaintance under the 
 final condition of sage and onions. Get the tubs 
 out, and give them a thorough fresh-water wash- 
 ing. Their state for weeks has been all but hope- 
 less. The thoughtless deck-washers, with mistaken 
 benevolence, have sluiced them with salt water, 
 which, penetrating the feathers, has matted them 
 into a frowzy wiry mass. Self-respect has been 
 dead in the duck-pen they have scarce had the
 
 CHAP. I. A CLEAN-SHIRT FOR THE DUCKS. 41 
 
 heart to quack their smooth well-oiled panoply 
 has been broken through, and they seem to feel all 
 the shame of a dirty shirt. But the restoration to 
 decency and comfort is a thing to witness. No 
 fallen coquette lapsed into rags and wretchedness, 
 and suddenly brought back to the condition of 
 former conquests, even exhibited more unfeigned 
 delight. They ar^ positively too happy to speak 
 out, but mutter their congratulations through every 
 billful of feathers. They have found new tones 
 in which to express themselves a tiny laughing 
 language. Now and then, to be sure, a fussy old 
 drake will intermit his toilet to throw out a hasty 
 bow to a fair neighbour, or utter some wheezy 
 compliment ; or an excitable young duck, unable 
 to contain herself, will fairly give vent to her feel- 
 ings in a "quack, quack, quack,' 5 that may be 
 heard for a mile. 
 
 A word about poultry. Never go to sea with- 
 out the chickens' teeth gravel or broken stones. 
 They cannot masticate with the unassisted gizzard ; 
 hence dyspepsia, perhaps pip. And take them 
 something to make their egg-shells of mortar or
 
 42 CHICKEN'S TEETH. CHAP. I. 
 
 lime ; and old egg-shells they will freely eat. 
 Hens, with every natural wish to lie-in, are baffled 
 without such baby-clothes, and reduced to the un- 
 seemly miscarriage of a soft egg.
 
 CHAP. II. THE LINE. 43 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The Line Theatre afloat Heroine hands the Main-royal 
 The Porpoise Stormy Petrel Flying Fish Drifting 
 towards Patagonia A Glance at Pigafetta and Harris 
 Their Pictures of a Patagon Medical Treatment Change 
 of Stars Magellan Clouds Chastening Influence of Life 
 at Sea A Gale Birds The Flying Dutchman Ar- 
 rive at the Mauritius. 
 
 JUDGING from the way in which the ceremony of 
 shaving at the Line is carried on even in these rose- 
 water days, we may guess the sort of horse-play 
 which was practised in the times of Drake and An- 
 son, when keel-hauling and suchlike practical jokes 
 were permitted. As it is, a man unpopular with 
 his messmates may make sure of a severe handling. 
 With the upper classes it is "pay or play;" a 
 bottle of rum insuring an immunity from all annoy- 
 ance ; but it seemed to us an anomaly to cross the 
 Line without the customary shaving, so it was de- 
 cided both to pay and play. These scenes have 
 been somewhat too often described already ; suffice
 
 44 CROSSING THE LINE. CHAP. II. 
 
 it to say, that, while being lathered with a not over- 
 delicate shaving-soap, each individual is put to the 
 question as to his former voyages, if any his birth, 
 parentage, place of residence, &c. ; and the point 
 of the joke is the end of the tarry, greasy brush 
 pushed into the mouth of the incautious answerer. 
 The lather is then scraped off, and he is released, 
 running the gauntlet, however, of a few buckets of 
 water launched at him from the tops, where a sup- 
 ply has been provided for the occasion. The sol- 
 diers and sailors are turned backwards after the 
 shaving into a tubful of water, and while scrambling 
 out of this are abundantly soused with the bucket- 
 fulls of the assistants. 
 
 Amongst other devices for passing the time it 
 was happily proposed to act a play ; but here was 
 a difficulty, what play ? The private libraries sup- 
 plied no kind of dramatic composition but Shak- 
 speare, and it was felt that the legitimate drama 
 would, all things considered, be somewhat too heavy 
 for us. A bright thought beamed upon some one, 
 " Write a play !" Admirable suggestion ! affording 
 some proof, if any were wanting, that even in the 
 most difficult cases to dare is generally to do. The
 
 CHAP. II. JOINT-STOCK PLAY-WRITING. 45 
 
 plot (a simple one) took about half an hour in con- 
 cocting ; before night the first act was completed. 
 
 The ingenious playwright, employed in catering 
 for a London audience, may perhaps take an inte- 
 rest in the process employed by us on this occasion. 
 We went upon the joint-stock principle of Beau- 
 mont and Fletcher, though with power to add to 
 our number. The company being formed, each 
 director took a part upon himself, and whose share 
 of the dialogue throughout the piece he was bound 
 by self or deputy to furnish. The scenes were 
 settled in general committee, and when the call-boy 
 gave out, for instance, "Scene, a country inn in 
 
 Ireland, Ensign (an officer on detachment) 
 
 solus," the individual so circumstanced, provided 
 with pen and paper, proceeds to write his solilo- 
 quy. " To him enter the landlord," who also 
 comes in with his writing materials, and each car- 
 ries on the dialogue, writing down his alternate re- 
 marks. " To them enter Kitty, the landlord's 
 daughter." When the whole play (farce more pro- 
 perly) is gone through, it is subjected to a general 
 weeding, pruning, and polishing of all the contri- 
 butors, the requisite number of copies fairly written
 
 46 A JOINT-STOCK PLAY. CHAP. II. 
 
 out, and at once put into the hands of the per- 
 formers. 
 
 It is one of the advantages of a military life that 
 you can in a regiment put your hand at any moment 
 upon a professor of almost every trade, and even 
 some of the professions. On the present occasion we 
 found ourselves rich in histrionic talent. These 
 were the dramatis persona : 
 
 " A young English officer on detachment for the 
 first time in the wilds of Ireland, full of affecta- 
 tion, and unused to rough it admirably played 
 by one of the men, who hit off, by tone and ges- 
 ture, some personal peculiarities, which kept the 
 house (ship) in a roar. 
 
 " Officer's servant, a sentimental youth, the hero of 
 the piece, once a hair-dresser, making love to all 
 the girls ; jilted, and a butt. 
 
 " The landlord, an old Irish soldier, holding with 
 the Whiteboys and his guests the military, and 
 benefiting by both. 
 
 " Kitty, his daughter, excellently dressed and 
 played by Boy Dick.
 
 CHAP. II. A JOINT-STOCK PLAY. 47 
 
 " Katty, the servantmaid, Boy Jack, a finished 
 coquette, jilting everybody and producing end- 
 less confusion. The sentimental servant, keep- 
 ing an appointment, is seized by the Whiteboys 
 and carried to the mountains, but subsequently 
 rescued by the ingenuity of Katty, who eventu- 
 ally takes pity upon and marries him." 
 
 The plot winds up merrily with the discomfiture 
 of the Whiteboys, their trial, and subsequent par- 
 don for some good turns they have done to the other 
 characters in the piece. Kitty marries the serjeant, 
 to whom she blunt! v proposes, having failed to 
 engage the affections of the officer ; and the bewil- 
 derment of the serjeant under the unusual circum- 
 stances of an offer, and his being fairly mobbed into 
 the match, with his subsequent doubt whether he is 
 really married, or it is all a dream, is not the 
 least amusing part of the play. 
 
 For upwards of a fortnight the utmost excitement 
 prevailed throughout the ship, and impatience for 
 the opening of the theatre. Rehearsals there had 
 been, but managed as privately as the nature of the 
 case admitted. On the eventful evening the theatre
 
 48 THE REPRESENTATION. CHAP. II. 
 
 was rigged out with the assistance from the Captain 
 of sails and flags. To avoid unnecessary scene- 
 shifting, we thought it advisable to adhere strictly 
 to the unities. The situation of the stage had this 
 peculiarity, that it interposed between the boxes and 
 the rest of the house : the dress circle was on the 
 poop, the stage being alongside the capstan ; and 
 the rest of the audience were arranged either on 
 the longboat or on the standing rigging. That the 
 performance went off well it is unnecessary to state, 
 but the principal applause was certainly drawn 
 down by the young ladies (Boys Dick and Jack), 
 whose costume was perfect Perhaps an over-fasti- 
 dious person might have thought their figures a trifle 
 too prononce ; the shortcomings being more than 
 made up by the judicious adaptation of swabs and 
 oakum. Where their ringlets came from no one 
 ventured to inquire. A slight hitch in the per- 
 formance must be recorded. The first violin (the 
 Doctor) took huff at some innuendo disparaging to 
 the Faculty, and refused to play. A band of 
 whistlers was immediately organized to assist the 
 violino secundo. 
 
 It was in the last scene, when all parties are
 
 CHAP. II. THE HEROINE ALOFT. 49 
 
 made happy, and the curtain was just about to fall, 
 when the skipper was observed casting an anxious 
 eye to windward, and, having apparently satisfied 
 himself with his survey, came hastily to the front 
 of the boxes and gave out the startling order, "All 
 hands on deck there ! shorten sail. Boy Dick, 
 hand the Royal ! Away aloft, Sir ! " This seemed 
 a peculiar hardship for the heroine on her wedding 
 day, but there was no help for it, as the second 
 mate dandled suspiciously a rope's end in his hand. 
 There was no time even to get rid of the bustle ; 
 so, taking fairly to the rigging, false curls, flounces, 
 and all, she " shinned away " aloft to the exhorta- 
 tions of the mate, and finally lay over the royal 
 yard and handed the sail, to the unbounded merri- 
 ment of the audience. 
 
 The porpoise is a fish to whom every voyager 
 must be grateful. Not only does he agreeably 
 stir up the " level brine," but he gives us some- 
 thing to think of an object in the dreary solitude, 
 and the hope of a breeze. And yet never were 
 the personal qualities of any individual more mis- 
 represented. He is held up to ridiculous obloquy 
 in a sarcastic proverb. " As fat as a porpoise" leads
 
 50 THE PORPOISE. CHAP. II. 
 
 to an idea of an obese monster sluggish inert a 
 marine Lambert. No one who writes about the sea 
 but has a fling at him : " The porpoise rolled " and 
 " the wallowing porpoise " are familiar as household 
 words. His very name (porco pesce, pig-fish) is a 
 slander. 
 
 The poets delight to poke him up with their sharp 
 epigrams : 
 
 " And then I drag a bloated corpus, 
 Swell'd with a dropsy like a porpus." 
 
 But the reverse of all this is the fact. He is the 
 fastest and most sociable of fish, and never meets 
 you without escorting you part of the way. He is 
 not one of your cold-blooded animals, but wears 
 his coat of fat as a paletot or aquascutum to keep 
 him comfortable. To see a shoal of them bearing 
 down upon the ship from a distance, and taking 
 the rough water flying, is sure to draw a hearty 
 " Holloa " from an old sportsman. There is an 
 infectious jollity about them, as if they were out 
 on a lark, and bent upon pressing you goodhu- 
 mouredly into the adventure. No other fish in- 
 troduces himself to man's notice, or courts his 
 companionship : no other fish will turn back and
 
 CHAP. II. THE PORPOISE. 51 
 
 walk with you, as it were, arm-in-arm. There is a 
 reserve about all others of the order which defies 
 intimacy : who ever scraped an acquaintance with 
 a salmon or a pike, or tickled a trout, but with the 
 hellish anticipation of frying him ? He is, besides, 
 our nearest relation, the monkey excepted ; having, 
 next to that creature, the largest brain. Monkeys 
 being our brothers, porpoises must certainly be 
 our first-cousins. 
 
 But still you feel humbled in his company : you 
 have no chance in the race, for he overcomes your 
 boasted nine knots with an easy flap of his tail. In 
 spite of all your topsails and courses, your top- 
 gallant sails, royals, studding-sails carry on till 
 every mast and yard is groaning with its weight, 
 and the huge machine seems like to topple over 
 with the very swag of your bellying canvas, you 
 feel that you are pooh-poohed by a fat fish, and that 
 all your art, and contrivance, and labour, and fore- 
 thought, built upon every past experience from 
 Noah to Symonds, does not enable you to keep pace 
 with a monster whose every movement goes to fix 
 upon you the taunt of a slow coach. How he goes 
 round and round you under your keel and plays
 
 52 THE STORMY PETREL. CHAP. II. 
 
 in the very foam of your bows, daring you to come 
 on ! He even lifts his nose above the water to give 
 you a snort of defiance. 
 
 But it is at night, when the sea is luminous, and 
 every movement of the water brings out a flash of 
 fire, that the gambols of a shoal of porpoises should 
 be seen : they are then demons rushing through a 
 fiery lake. 
 
 Nor is the porpoise the only creature who has 
 suffered under a false character. The stormy 
 petrel is still worse used, for a more quiet, in- 
 offensive bird can nowhere be found. True, he is 
 seen in storms, for he must take the rough with the 
 smooth, and he is more noticed in bad weather, for 
 he flies to you for shelter. Every one in a ship 
 lying-to in a gale must have observed a cluster of 
 these little birds, tame and cowed with the bad 
 weather, nestled close under your lee counter. It 
 is a mistake to say he is only or mostly seen in 
 rough weather : take a telescope and sweep the 
 horizon when not a breath stirs the water, and they 
 may be discovered in all directions, independently 
 seeking their food ; they have then no inducement 
 to approach the ship : but let a breeze spring up,
 
 CHAP. II. FLYING-FISH. 53 
 
 and a flock of them immediately collects in your 
 wake and follows you for the insects, or other food, 
 which your passage through the water has stirred 
 up and brought to the surface. To connect this 
 fragile little bird with the storms of the ocean was 
 so pretty an antithesis, that we feel some apology is 
 due to Monsieur de Buffon and others for taking the 
 liberty to question it. 
 
 With the exception of the stormy petrel, who is 
 not conspicuous in calms, the booby, and the 
 beautiful tropic bird, harshly chattering far up in 
 the sky, the dreary latitudes about the Line are 
 almost destitute of the feathered tribe. Much has 
 been said about the desperate case of the flying-fish, 
 who, taking wing to avoid some monster below, is 
 snapped up by a soaring albatross, or other ra- 
 pacious bird. But this I have never seen, nor 
 indeed any bird to make the attempt, so conclude 
 that the compassionate voyagers, the more to excite 
 our pity, have tried to prove too much. Though 
 the flight of the flying-fish seldom appears to 
 exceed a hundred yards, yet they have sufficient 
 power of wing to turn at a small angle in their 
 course.
 
 54 PIGAFETTA. CHAP. II. 
 
 Although our vessel, from her light freight, 
 could run dry before a heavy sea, yet she made but 
 a very indifferent hand at beating, going bodily to 
 leeward, and losing on every tack. Such was the 
 baffling nature of the wind that we could make 
 nothing of it for weeks but leeway, and a look-out 
 was given for the coast of South America. One 
 morning " Land on the lee-beam " was sung ; but 
 whether really the top of a mountain, or a " cloud," 
 or a " camel," was beyond the ken of the uninitiated. 
 So diverse, indeed, are men's opinions in such cases, 
 that more than one pronounced it " very like a 
 whale." Yet, whatever it might be, no effort of 
 persuasion could prevail upon the Captain to run 
 down upon it ; either to Rio, or, still better, some 
 port farther south. In the dearth of amusement on 
 board we longed to make acquaintance with the 
 descendants of the frolicsome giants of Pigafetta, 
 who came dancing and singing; though it was a 
 " canto rozzo e mal composto ;" as if any other 
 could be expected from a giant ten palms high. 
 But Pigafetta is nothing without Old Harris's com- 
 ments and free translation : and as his ponderous 
 tome is not in every one's hands, perhaps my fair
 
 CHAP. II. PICTURE OF A PATAGONIAX. 55 
 
 readers will permit me to make an extract or 
 two. This is a picture of a Patagonian in full 
 dress : 
 
 " His body was formidably painted all over, 
 especially bis face ; here were a couple of staggs 
 drawn, one upon each cheek, and great red circles 
 about the eyes. His colours were otherwise mostly 
 yellow, only his hair was done with white.* For 
 his apparel he had the skin of a certain beast 
 clumsily sewn together, but a beast as strange a* 
 that that wore it : every way unaccountable. . . . 
 He enjoyed himself very comfortably on shipboard 
 till he happened to peep into a looking-glass. This 
 put him into a fright that he could not easily 
 recover from. The dismal face he saw there stared 
 him quite out of countenance and courage, .... 
 but no doubt the thing that appeared to him will 
 be thought sufficient to do it, ... a pair of greate 
 staggs with branching horns, and the flaming circles 
 about the eyes. What hobgoblin could have a 
 worse look than this ? " Here is a sly hit of the 
 old anti-Catholic. " They taught these giants to 
 
 * Quaere, Did we take the hint of our hair-powder from Pata-
 
 56 THE PATAGONIANS. CHAP. II. 
 
 say the words Jesus, Ave Maria, &c., the doing of 
 which was (if duly considered) an act of great 
 charity. For these giants, they say, were horribly 
 pestered with apparitions, and so wanted a sett of 
 proper words to bid defiance to those disturbers of 
 their quiet and repose : and if such charms as 
 these will do the business in Europe, there's no 
 reason why they should not be as effectual in 
 Brazile." 
 
 But to appreciate the charity, we should consider 
 the sort of apparitions it rid them of. 
 
 " It must be owned that they report very strange 
 things of horrid forms and apparitions frequently 
 seen amongst these people of horned daemons, 
 with long shaggy hair, throwing out fire both before 
 and behind." 
 
 Another extract as to their medical treatment, 
 and I have done : 
 
 " The practice of physic is reduced to a very 
 narrow compass, and takes in no more than vomit- 
 ing and phlebotomy. These two evacuations must 
 answer all varieties of cases and purposes ; and 
 where these won't do, the disease is incurable in 
 that land. Their way of bleeding is to give a
 
 i '7 
 
 CHAP. II. A PATAGONIAN EMETIC. 57 
 
 good chop with some edge tool or other in the 
 part that labours ; be it leg, or arm, or face, 'tis all 
 one." 
 
 And this is a Patagonian emetic : 
 
 " But though 'tis odd to use a chopping-knife 
 instead of a lancet for letting blood, yet 'tis worse 
 to thrust an arrow a foot and a half down the throat 
 to procure a vomit. No doubt but this will prick 
 the fibres, and sett a man a-reaching to some pur- 
 pose ; and whereas they say it makes them puke 
 very freely, and bring up a vast deal of choler and 
 blood,- 'tis very likely to be true ; and if the point 
 of an arrow thrust down so far did not draw blood 
 from them, a man would be ready to question what 
 sort of metal their insides were made of." * 
 
 Night by night, as we get on, we are reminded 
 of the increasing distance by the new stars and 
 constellations rising to view ; the long-remembered 
 monsters of our celestial menagerie have mostly 
 sunk into the insatiable deep. Most of all we miss 
 our Bears, the great finger posts of the Northern 
 sky. True, there are other attractions in the 
 Southern heavens. There is a blaze of large stars 
 
 * Harris's Voyage, folio. 
 
 D 3
 
 58 THE SOUTHERN HEAVENS. CHAP. II. 
 
 about the Cross and Ship ; but none of the new- 
 comers equal the beauty of Orion. This, however, 
 is made up for by those vast masses the Magellan 
 Clouds. In some of the clear nights at sea the 
 excessive beauty of the heavens is far beyond what 
 a mere landsman can conceive, and what we have 
 but few and faint glimpses of in this cloudy climate. 
 Surely some expansion of mind must be brought 
 about by the contemplation of these glorious evi- 
 dences of power. Can men really believe that the 
 t^t~ Maker of such countless worlds should consider 
 it a matter of vital importance whether a sermon 
 be delivered in a black gown or a white one, 
 that our prayers are rendered WMfe acceptable 
 
 or 
 
 if accompanied by the combustion of wax\ 
 candles ? 
 
 Those who have seen a calm, a fresh breeze, and 
 a gale, have exhausted the variety of the sea. 
 From Cork harbour to nearly the latitude of the 
 Cape of Good Hope we had escaped without a gale. 
 Stiff breezes and heavy squalls there had been, but 
 of short duration, and the sea had never thoroughly 
 got up. One evening the mercury suddenly plunged 
 to 28 ; and, still continuing to fall, was at sunset
 
 CHAP. II. A GALE. 59 
 
 but little above 27. A heavy bank of clouds re- 
 ceived the setting sun ; and extending along the 
 horizon on either side, the appearance was that 
 of a vast black cloak stretched round to clasp us. 
 " Look out for your crockery !" was the Captain's 
 cry. " In dead-lights down topgallant-masts stow 
 away all the spare hampers in jib brail up the 
 spanker, and meet the breeze under double-reefed 
 topsails." The skipper is in his foul-weather jacket, 
 and sou'-wester hat tied under the chin ; and has 
 taken his seat on the quarter bulwark for the rest 
 of the night. On such occasions as these we con- 
 gratulate ourselves on having no connexion with the 
 sea, being merely lodgers in the ship, and in no wise 
 responsible for what may happen. We ingloriously 
 turn in as the breeze comes on stiff and steadily. 
 At eleven it blew great guns. Towards the small 
 hours there was an indescribable, unintermitting 
 roar, with the bray of the speaking-trumpet faintly 
 heard through it. Now and then a heavy thump, 
 and pound, and rattle then a screaming of the 
 wind added to the roar, and the cry of "Starboard" 
 or " Port " coming faintly on the ear as if the voice 
 were a mile off.
 
 60 A GALE. CHAP. II. 
 
 The reader has perhaps seen a pea dancing 
 above a tobacco-pipe kept suspended in the air 
 by a current of wind blown through the tube ? 
 Much the same is your condition in bed during a 
 gale. You can't catch the mattress it eludes you 
 with the quaintest jerks and sinkings ; you feel 
 dancing aloft like the pea ; the " standing berth," 
 so miscalled, flying and bounding from under you ; 
 and your aching bones tossing and tumbling through 
 the livelong night. In vain with bent-up knees and 
 well-settled elbows you wedge yourself into the 
 narrow bedstead a sudden dive of the ship leaves 
 you dancing aloft as before. Oh ! the weariness of 
 that dreary, sleepless night ; for any form of rest 
 was impossible ; and to hear of what was doing was 
 equally so. We were battened down, and no com- 
 munication allowed with the deck. Towards day- 
 light there was something less of roaring ; but the 
 motion of the ship was increased to such awful rolls 
 and plunges, that to stand even for a moment with- 
 out holding firmly by something was utterly im- 
 possible. 
 
 When day dawned broad and clear, the skipper 
 came down to turn in, thoroughly worn and jaded.
 
 GHAP. II. CAPE PIGEONS. 61 
 
 The 'imprisoned passengers crawled on deck, and 
 never will the impression of that glorious scene be 
 effaced from my mind. The ocean was tumbling 
 about in hills of water; not thin-topped waves 
 curling over at the summit, but vast solid masses 
 that rose high above our stern, and seemed like to 
 bury the good ship as she staggered along. The 
 air was alive with birds ; and sailing over the hills 
 were white, gray, and black albatrosses, as large as 
 geese, with wings of twelve feet span. Nothing can 
 exceed the ease with which these majestic birds 
 skim over the mountainous surface of the deep, 
 putting to shame 
 
 " the pride and ample pinion 
 
 That the Theban eagle bear, 
 Sailing with supreme dominion 
 Through the azure deep of air ;" 
 
 while a flock of Cape pigeons hovered about the 
 ship as if they took it for a dovecote. These pretty 
 little birds, as indeed all others at sea, become the 
 more tame as the weather gets worse. One of 
 them, conspicuous from his broken leg, followed the 
 ship for fifteen hundred miles, during which run her 
 daily progress was, on an average, upwards of two
 
 62 THE MORNING AFTEK A GALE. CHAP. II. 
 
 hundred miles. Did he keep perpetually on the 
 wing, or go to roost upon the waves at night ? In 
 the latter case, by what instinct did he recover the 
 vessel in the morning, then a hundred miles away ? 
 Certain it is that he was punctual every morning at 
 breakfast, and quite ready for the collection of fat 
 which was daily made for him a preference being 
 given in consequence of his infirmity. It is a com- 
 mon trick among sailors to throw overboard a long 
 strip of the skin of pork, which is swallowed by the 
 first petrel that catches it. Being, however, from 
 its length, not easily stowed away, it is liable, as 
 long as any remains outside the bill, to be dragged 
 out again by another bird, who in turn is liable to 
 be served with the same emetic ; and thus the pork 
 will furnish an evanescent relish to a large portion 
 of the flock. 
 
 Nor was the appearance of the ship less changed 
 than that of the surrounding water. Of all the 
 complicated machinery of masts, yards, and rigging, 
 nothing now remained above the topmasts ; and we 
 were scudding at the rate of twelve knots an hour 
 under a close-reefed foretop-sail. It was like 
 having gone to bed in a three-story house, and
 
 CHAP. II. DINING AFTER A GALE. 63 
 
 finding in the morning only the first floor ; or, in- 
 stead of a full week's washing hung out to dry, 
 there were only three sticks, and a towel on one of 
 them. 
 
 To stand without holding was not to be at- 
 tempted without imminent danger ; and the un- 
 graceful flight to leeward of those who, relying upon 
 their "sea-legs," attempted it, furnished much 
 amusement to the rest. It was, in truth, a scene of 
 delightful excitement, wholly free from all sense of 
 danger. At such a time it is gratifying to see a 
 man eat soup. Holding his plateful in one hand 
 for to set it down would be to see it shot at once 
 across the cabin he holds on by the table with the 
 other, having also a spoon in its grasp, and waits 
 for a fortunate moment to convey a portion to his 
 mouth. Precarious transit! the likelihood being 
 just as great that he should have to drop the spoon 
 before he has delivered the contents, or that the 
 unexpected "weather-roll " has canted over him a 
 larger supply from the plate than he intended. 
 When the mouthful, being delivered, is found much 
 too hot, the effect is even more ludicrous. Some- 
 times, in spite of the most artful balancing, a bump
 
 64 THE DOCTOR'S DISASTER. CHAP. II. 
 
 will come that displaces the whole party, and sends 
 them in one general smash and scramble masters, 
 servants, plates, dishes, pork, soup, and all in a 
 heap to leeward. 
 
 Nor can I refrain in this place to mention a 
 disaster which befel the Doctor. It has been 
 already recorded that he was a fiddler ; and never 
 did he play with so much unction as when the 
 roaring of a gale rendered the music inaudible to 
 all but himself. He was no common performer : 
 looking, indeed, with something of contempt upon 
 all known and familiar music. Now and then, to 
 be sure, he would fling off a few bars of a jig or 
 waltz, as if he cast them away unworthy of his 
 catgut. His ordinary music was of so high an 
 order as to be wholly unintelligible to any one but 
 himself. It was a wailing melancholy melody, 
 something like the screaming of an yEolian harp in 
 a sharp thorough draught ; and when, after a time, 
 he became excited, he screamed in unison with the 
 notes of his fiddle. 
 
 It was on one of our most boisterous evenings 
 that the Doctor had planted himself in the corner 
 of the great cabin to leeward, and was wholly rap-
 
 CHAP. II. THE DOCTOR'S DISASTER. 65 
 
 and lost in his own performance far away indeed 
 in the seventh heaven at least; when whether 
 caused by the man at the wheel failing to ' meet 
 her" (and he was always behindhand in these 
 appointments), or a shift of wind so sudden and 
 unlooked-for a bump came under the counter, 
 that the enraptured musician was at once dislodged 
 and hurled bodily across the cabin. To ensure a 
 correct idea of this calamity it must be premised 
 that he was a little man of a tenacious punctilio of 
 movement : every step was studied, and the slightest 
 motion of hand or foot revealed pomposity and 
 affected grace. To say that he ever hurried him- 
 self was wholly to misrepresent the man : to suppose 
 that even in his boyish days he could be guilty of a 
 hop step and jump, you almost felt to be impos- 
 sible ; hence the extremity of this disaster. Flying 
 with lifted bow and fiddle for, true to his art, he 
 abandoned neither he came forcibly against the 
 opposite corner. Here rested, firmly fixed, our cask 
 of Madeira, and on the top of it a half-cask con- 
 taining a pig's head in pickle, which, being an 
 object of high expectation, was there deposited for 
 security. At sea, especially in a transport, eatables,
 
 THE DOCTOR'S DISASTER. CHAP. IT. 
 
 not immediately under your own eye, diminish 
 insensibly nobody knows how nobody did it ; the 
 soldiers darkly insinuate that the sailors have done 
 it ; the sailors fling it back on the troops. The 
 half-cask, as being of no great specific gravity, was 
 thought to be sufficiently secured with a small spun- 
 yarn passed round it and fastened to a nail in the 
 bulk-head. 
 
 In the extremity of his distress, the Doctor, feel- 
 ing the counter-roll coming, seized hold of the spun- 
 yarn with such fingers as he had disengaged from 
 the bow and fiddle, but it was never calculated for 
 such an additional strain ; when the bump came the 
 spun-yarn at once gave way, and the Doctor, accom- 
 panied by the half-cask, was thrown again across the 
 cabin : covered only by brown paper, the pig's 
 head was released by the concussion, and the cask, 
 the head, and the Doctor traversed the cabin 
 together. Back again, and again, and again. He 
 who had never moved without a studied grace was 
 now reduced to the most ignoble shifts. Dodges, 
 and feints, and capers, respectable for their agility, 
 but utterly subversive of all dignity, were had 
 recourse to as a matter of personal safety. At this
 
 CHAP. II. THE DOCTOR'S DISASTER. 67 
 
 crisis a stout bony Irishwoman, who attended upon 
 the ladies, appeared at the door with a basin of 
 sago, which with infinite difficulty she had brought 
 from the caboose. Now the Doctor hated women 
 generally, calling them by the general name of 
 " rabble ;" but of all others he most hated this 
 woman, from her unreserve and the coarseness of 
 her manners ; and if he had condescended to receive 
 a favour from any one, she would have been the 
 last he would have pitched upon to confer it. The 
 Irishwoman, nevertheless, pitied his dangerous 
 case ; so, settling herself fast in the doorway, and 
 holding on by the framework, she extended the 
 other arm, still holding the basin, to obstruct the 
 Doctor's flight. The attempt was successful: the 
 brawny arm of the Irishwoman brought him up 
 at once, but the concussion canted the hot sago all 
 over his hair and face, and in this sad condition 
 he was forcibly hauled into the steerage. 
 
 But you can only judge of the way in which your 
 own ship labours by watching another, should one 
 fortunately be in sight. One moment she rides in 
 short-lived triumph on the top of a hill of water, 
 when a plunge takes her entirely out of sight :
 
 68 THE NIGHT AFTER A GALE. CHAP. IT. 
 
 now her tops are altogether hidden, then she 
 suddenly rises and with ample compensation 
 shows you her bottom as she leans over upon 
 the sea. 
 
 It was a dreary night after the gale. The wind 
 had moderated, but there was a heavy sea on, and 
 the sky was black as pitch. There was no com- 
 fort on the wet decks: a sharp south-easter had 
 set in, bringing up a sleety drizzle from the 
 polar regions, and we were glad to take refuge in 
 the Captain's cabin, never seen to such advantage 
 as now. The door is, for a wonder, shut ; the dead 
 lights are in ; but there is a cheery light from the 
 suspended lamp, hanging though it does, with a 
 tendency to the beam to leeward, as if some magnetic 
 influence kept it out of the perpendicular. But 
 above all comforts, a fire had been lighted, and we 
 seem all at once to have found an old familiar 
 friend in the midst of the deep. After all, there is 
 no home without a fire an open, honest, blazing 
 English fire, with plenty of chimney-room and an 
 unlimited command of the poker. The cabin which 
 we have sweltered in under the Line, and hated for 
 its villanous compound of smells, is suddenly be-
 
 CHAP. II. THE SKIPPER'S STORIES. 69 
 
 come a trim little parlour, the table garnished with 
 bottles and glasses, and the sense of comfort in- 
 creased by the wind moaning through the rigging, 
 and the sea roaring under the counter. But the 
 barometer is rising, and we know that the heart of 
 the gale is broken. 
 
 It is at such times as these that we get a good 
 story from the skipper ; and the considerate air 
 upon his features, added to a quiet intelligence of 
 the eye, lead us to infer that we shall not expect in 
 vain. He has, in effect, begun. He is in the 
 " Mary," 600 tons, on the banks of Newfoundland, 
 steering a point free nor' -west and by north half 
 north or " nawth" as he calls it. He would not 
 bate you that half point for half the value of the 
 ship. He has got through the eventful story of the 
 " Mary " how she sprung a leak how the good 
 ship was well nigh foundering, when the leak 
 stopped by some strange agency not discovered till 
 the vessel came into port. Taken into dock a 
 week after, a huge codfish is found sticking in her 
 bottom, his head and shoulders so tightly fastened 
 in the hole that he was only released by being cut 
 to pieces.
 
 70 THE SKIPPER'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 Next he is in a transport with the th regiment 
 on board, about two degrees north of the Line. A 
 strange sail has been hovering about them all day ; 
 now standing towards them, then bearing away, as 
 if the survey was unsatisfactory ; after a while wear- 
 ing and running down on them again. She was a 
 beautiful schooner, having the appearance of a 
 slaver or engaged in some nefarious calling sur- 
 mised by a strange inference from the beauty of the 
 shape and the man-of-war cut of her sails. 
 
 The officer in command of the troops, acting in 
 concert with the skipper, kept all the men below, 
 but caused them to prepare their arms, and served 
 out a good supply of ammunition ; the decks were 
 kept as much deserted as possible, two or three of 
 the sailors only showing themselves at a time ; and 
 the transport carried a press of sail, as if running 
 in the greatest fear from the schooner. They also 
 got up a few rusty old guns from the hold, mounted 
 them, and charged them full of musket-balls and 
 such pieces of old iron as they could find about the 
 ship; but all under cover of the bulwarks, and 
 taking care to prevent the possibility of suspicion by 
 hiding them under sails and tarpauling. Still the
 
 CHAP. II. A PIRATE. 71 
 
 schooner was coy probably from suspicious appear- 
 ances observed before their precautions began. At 
 length she seemed to have made up her mind, 
 squared her yards, and ran after them in earnest. 
 
 When this was observed, the troops, in their 
 ordinary deck-dress, were brought quietly up from 
 below, simply with their firelocks, belts, and pouches, 
 and caused to lie down close under the weather- 
 bulwark, the ship's course being altered so as to be 
 most convenient for that arrangement. 
 
 When within a few hundred yards, the schooner 
 hoisted Spanish colours, and fired a gun to bring 
 the ship to. The British ensign was run up to the 
 gaff-end, but no notice taken of the gun except to 
 set a trysail, and keep her on her best point of sail- 
 ing. Such an evident dread of being overhauled 
 only increased the confidence of the schooner, who 
 fired a shot, which passed through the maintop- 
 gallant-sail. Still the ship carried on; and next 
 time, a shot came booming over the decks just over 
 the long-boat. 
 
 As matters were getting serious, the skipper 
 shortened sail, and the schooner ran close alongside, 
 ordering him to lie-to till he sent a boat on board.
 
 72 THE SKIPPER'S STORIES- CHAP. II. 
 
 In a few minutes the two vessels were lying within 
 fifty yards of each other, the water being smooth, 
 and a boat with about a dozen men was lowered and 
 pulled directly for the ship. 
 
 When the boat was within a few yards of the ship, 
 the captain suddenly hauled his foreyard forward, 
 luffed up, and ran close up alongside the schooner ; 
 the signal was then given, the soldiers started up, 
 and, resting their firelocks on the bulwark, poured 
 a tremendous volley into the schooner's crew, who 
 were crowded on deck. The remaining men, who 
 had been kept below for concealment, rushed up on 
 the poop and into the long-boat, and the whole 
 300 poured a destructive fire into the schooner, 
 who was so entirely taken by surprise that she 
 made no return whatever, either with musketry or 
 cannon. 
 
 The confusion was excessive ; but, nevertheless, 
 with great exertion they got her under way, and, 
 in a few minutes, she had shot away on a wind and 
 was out of reach of the transport's fire, leaving her 
 boat and the twelve men to their fate. The con- 
 tents of the rusty old guns had also been thrown 
 into her doubtless with some effect.
 
 CHAP. II. THE LAUGHING PORPOISE. 73 
 
 The boat's crew, of course, surrendered at dis- 
 cretion, and were handed over prisoners to the 
 authorities in the colony whither the ship was 
 bound, and they were tried for piracy, but with 
 what result did not transpire. 
 
 After this he put on his most solemn air. " I am 
 no believer in ghosts or supernatural appearances," 
 said the skipper, " any more than you may be ; but 
 a very strange thing happened in a ship I once 
 sailed in. The captain was very fond of fishing 
 that is, of throwing the grains and harpoon, which 
 he did well ; and if a fish came fairly under the 
 martingale, he rarely, if ever, missed him. One 
 day we had a number of porpoises come snorting 
 round the ship, tearing about bolder than ever I 
 saw them, and seeming to look up at the captain, as 
 much as to say, Catch us if you can. Well, he 
 was a spicy little fellow, and didn't like any chaffing 
 and nonsense ; so says he, looking at them over 
 the quarter, says he, * You'd better not tempt rne 
 too far, for I want oil, and I don't like to be jeered 
 at :' upon which one of them about the biggest I 
 ever saw pushed his nose above water, and gave a 
 sort of sputtering snort, just as if he'd been laugh-
 
 74 THE SKIPPER'S STORIES- CHAP. II. 
 
 ing to himself, but couldn't hold it any longer, and 
 was obliged to burst out. 
 
 " Well, the captain could stand a good deal some- 
 times, but he couldn't stand being made a joke of 
 by a porpoise ; so says he, * I '11 make you laugh 
 on the other side of your pig's face before I've done 
 with you. You look more like a devil than a fish, 
 you do ! ' And then he called the second mate, 
 and says he, ' Just bend on the line to the harpoon, 
 and I'll strike that fellow if he comes within reach 
 again, if he is the devil himself ! ' 
 
 " Well, there was no poop in that vessel, so the 
 captain took his stand on the quarter-boat, and had 
 his harpoon all ready, and the line coiled free and 
 all clear for the first porpoise that came near but 
 especially the big black one if possible. There he 
 was the mate looking at him, the man at the 
 wheel looking at him as well as he could while mind- 
 ing his course, and two men looking at him that 
 were mending sails, and another man looking at 
 him as he rigged a Scotchman on to the backstay. 
 I was on deck too, but not looking at him con- 
 stantly, because I was attending to the ship's course, 
 and looking up at the sails.
 
 CHAP. II. THE LAUGHING PORPOISE. 75 
 
 " All of a sudden somebody sung out ' Where's 
 the captain ?' and we all looked about, and nobody 
 could see him ; so I jumped into the boat, thinking 
 he might be got down in her for something, but, 
 sure enough, he wasn't there, nor the harpoon, nor 
 the line, but only about a fathom of the end of the 
 line that was bent on to the standing rigging. And 
 nobody heard any splash in the water, nor saw him 
 strike at a fish, nor fall overboard, but overboard he 
 certainly was. 
 
 " Well, we couldn't be convinced that he was out 
 of the ship, so we searched the cabin, and the 'tween - 
 decks, and even the hold ; but we never saw him 
 again. 
 
 " Well, we were very downhearted at this, and the 
 men thought it a bad sign ; but that, of course, I 
 knew was all nonsense. However, I took command 
 of the ship, and brought her into Bombay, and there 
 most of the hands left her : they never were recon- 
 ciled to the ship after the captain disappeared, be- 
 cause they said that every night, as sure as eight 
 bells struck, they saw the captain standing up in 
 the boat with the harpoon in his hand, and heard 
 him say, ' I'll strike him if he's the devil him- 
 
 E 2
 
 76 THE SKIPPER'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 self:' and then there was a snorting and a half- 
 choked laughing noise in the water all round the 
 ship, but especially under the starboard quarter, 
 where the captain disappeared ; and this I could 
 have sworn I heard myself often enough out of my 
 cabin. 
 
 " Well, no good came of that ship after. We got 
 a cargo at Bombay, and a part of it was hide?, 
 which were put in green and badly cured ; and on 
 the voyage home, just about the latitude and longi- 
 tude where we lost the captain, there came such 
 a dreadful stench through the ship that nobody 
 could stand it. First one was taken ill, then another, 
 and another, till at last most of the men were laid 
 up ; so that, at last, we overhauled the hides, and 
 they were all in a mass of rottenness ; and when the 
 hatch was taken off, the second mate was standing 
 looking down, and the stench that came up knocked 
 him down as if he'd been knocked down M ith a hand- 
 spike, and he was taken with a raging fever and 
 died the next day, and the body was thrown over- 
 board immediately ; and there was a shoal of por- 
 poises tearing round the ship just like what they 
 were when the captain disappeared, and the same
 
 CHAP. II. THE LAUGHING PORPOISE. 77 
 
 snorting, and horse-laughing like, when the body 
 went into the water. Now, that I heard myself: 
 and for the truth of the story you may see the ship's 
 log at the owners' now. We buried seven men in 
 that voyage home, and the rest went into hospital. 
 If we had tried to take out the hides there wouldn't 
 have been a man left alive in a week. That ship 
 sailed upon one more voyage, and that was her last. 
 She was bound for Bombay again ; and a vessel 
 spoke her just about the latitude where the captain 
 was lost, and she was lost too ; never came into 
 port, nor ever heard of after." 
 
 Then he is at Valparaiso, and chuckles over racy 
 anecdotes of Spanish ladies, making you rather wish 
 to visit that valley of Paradise. Then the mate 
 comes down, his hairy cap glistening with dew, his 
 pea-jacket powdered with diamonds, and a drop at 
 his nose. He helps himself to a glass of grog, 
 encircling the small tumbler in his ample hand till 
 not a bit of it can be seen. Then he mixes the 
 spirit and water in no equal portions, if we may 
 judge from the hearty out-gulping of the one and 
 the tremulous dribble of the other. He even seems 
 to find it strong, for he coughs and winks after
 
 78 THE MATE'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 every drink, and looks at the glass, now no longer 
 covered, as if through absence of mind he had made 
 some little mistake in the mixture. 
 
 " Mr. Gales," said the skipper, " perhaps you 
 will give us that story that I have heard you tell 
 about the steward that got a strange warning. Do 
 you recollect it ? Make yourself another glass of 
 grog, and sit down and let's have it." 
 
 " I suppose you mean, sir, the story about that 
 'ere Chillip ? Well, he was a fond critter the 
 fondest critter I ever see ; he hadn't the heart of a 
 mouse, and yet he was always a joking and gibing. 
 We was agoing round the Horn in the Mary Ann, 
 bound for Lima, and one morning, just about eight 
 bells, we all heered somebody call out ' Chillip, 
 Chillip ' that was the steward's name and then 
 waited a bit, and then called ' Chillip, Chillip " 
 again. Well, sure enough, we thought it was the 
 captain calling for his breakfast ; and when he came 
 on deck soon after, I says to him, ' Did you call the 
 steward ? ' ' No,' says he, ' I did not want him : 
 he's down below.' Well, just at that moment some- 
 body called 'Chillip, Chillip' again. Well, we 
 thought it curious ; for nobody called the steward
 
 CHAP. II. THE FATE OF CHILLIP. 7i 
 
 by his name except the captain, and he very sel- 
 domwe always called him ' Steward.' 
 
 " Your health, gentlemen. Well, we had a big 
 black cat aboard, the savagest cat ever I see, that 
 would fight the biggest dog, and tear him a'most to 
 pieces. You couldn't lay a hand upon him, he 
 was so savage. 
 
 " ' Why, what's the matter with the cat ? ' says 
 the captain. So we looked down, and there was 
 big Tom, as we called him, with all his hair a stand- 
 ing on end, and his big green eyes staring as if 
 they'd jump out of his head, and a trembling all 
 over, and all his claws out holding on to the deck, 
 as if he wasn't able to stand without it ; and his tail 
 dropped lower and lower, and at last he gave 
 a howl sich as I never heered before nor since, and 
 then rushed down the companion and tore round 
 the cabin round and round, making the most 
 frightfullest howling, and darting up at the deck 
 and bulk-heads as if he'd have tore the ship to 
 pieces, if he could. Well, when we'd looked down 
 at the cat for a minute, we looked about to see 
 what had frightened him ; and just then we heard 
 the same voice cry Chillip, Chillip,' just as it was
 
 80 THE MATE'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 before ; and there was a small brown bird sitting 
 on the davit just above us, and him it was as was 
 calling out ' Chillip, Chillip.' 
 
 " But such a curious bird never anybody ever 
 see before, nor nobody in the ship had ever seen 
 such a bird. He'd got a small withered face like 
 an old man, with a small hooked nose in the 
 middle, and the skin was wrinkled all over his 
 cheeks, and puckered up round his eyes, and he 
 looked like a little old man of a hundred years old : 
 and while we was a looking at him he cried out 
 ' Chillip, Chillip,' just as we heard him before. 
 
 " ' Well,' says the captain, ' I've been at sea," 
 says he, ' ever since I was ten year old, and that's 
 two and thirty year ago, and I never see sich a 
 bird as that ; and,' says he, ' what's more, I don't 
 like him. But,' says he, ' he's calling Chillip, so 
 perhaps he knows him.' And then he called the 
 steward down the hatch, and told him to come up ; 
 and says he, ' Steward, here's a bird a calling of 
 you,' says he ; ' did you ever see him before ? ' And 
 just then the bird called ' Chillip, Chillip ' again. 
 
 * Well, the steward looked at the bird, and you 
 never see such a change as come over anybody in
 
 CHAP. II. THE FATE OF CHILLIP. 81 
 
 your life ! He catches hold of the companion door, 
 and holds hisself up for fear he'd fall, and gets 
 whiter and whiter and whiter, till at last down he 
 drops as if he was dead. 
 
 " Well, the captain has him taken forward, and 
 put in a standing berth, where any sick men were 
 used to be put, and put some strong stuff to his 
 nose, and give him a glass of rum, and presently 
 brought him to, but still very weak and ill. And 
 says the captain to him, ' Why, what's the matter 
 with you ? ' says he. * You bean't afraid of a bird ?' 
 But when the steward heered him name the bird, 
 he went off into fits again. 
 
 " We all thought this very strange, to be sure, 
 that a bird, of all things, could frighten the cat 
 and put the steward into fits, though the last seemed 
 more likely than the first. 
 
 " We tried all we could to bring the steward to, 
 but nothing seemed to rouse him. We burnt a lot 
 of feathers under his nose, and threw cold water 
 over him, and rubbed his temples with rum, but it 
 was of no use ; so we let him alone for a bit, and 
 stood looking on at him, thinking he'd perhaps 
 come to of hisself. 
 
 E3
 
 82 THE MATE'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 " Well, at that minute we heard the bird, 
 just close over the gangway by the sound of his 
 voice, calling out * Chillip, Chillip ' again ; and 
 then the steward rose up slowly till he sat up in the 
 berth, and he looked more like a dead man than a 
 living one, and he says in a hollow voice, says he, 
 ' I'm a coming I'm a coming ! ' and then lay 
 down again like a corpse. 
 
 " Well, from that minute he got worse and worse ; 
 and the captain, who was a judge of sickness, said 
 as he thought he'd never recover ; but he never went 
 into no more fits, but lay quite quiet and resigned like 
 and sensible ; and the captain often asked him what 
 ailed him to be afraid of a bird, but all he could 
 ever get from him was, ' I know who he is I know 
 who he is ! ' And not a word more would he say. 
 
 " Well, the third morning after this, just after 
 eight bells, I had been to take the steward a cup of 
 tea, and was asking him how he felt hisself, when 
 the voice of the bird, calling * Chillip, Chillip,' came 
 down the hatch stronger and clearer than ever. I 
 should have told you, gentlemen, that we never saw 
 the bird after the first day up to that time. 
 
 " Well, when the steward heerd the bird calling,
 
 CHAP. II. THE FATE OF CHILLIP. 83 
 
 he give a faint cry, and died right out : he never 
 moved hand nor foot after. He was sewed up in 
 canvas, and lowered into the sea next day, with a 
 shot at his feet in course ; and you'd hardly believe 
 it, but just as the captain had finished the funeral 
 service, and the body was going overboard, the bird 
 flew across and cried ' Chillip, Chillip,' and then 
 flew away, and we never saw him again. 
 
 " I 'most forgot to mention that we lost the cat, 
 and what became of him nobody ever could tell. 
 I'm inclined to think as he went out at the starn 
 window, which was open ; but we never saw him 
 again in that ship, dead nor alive. 
 
 " Well, you may suppose, gentlemen, as we 
 didn't get this out of our heads for some time ; and 
 when we come back into the river, the captain he'd 
 been a rummaging into the steward's box, and found 
 out as his mother lived down by Dockhead ; and 
 says he to me, ' You go down to Dockhead, and tell 
 her about her son's death, and what property he 
 left, and she can have it ; but break it to her,' says 
 he, ' as well as you can.' 
 
 " So I goes down to Dockhead, and I found the 
 mother living in a decent small house, and she was
 
 84 THE MATE'S STORIES- CHAP. II. 
 
 a widow well enough to do ; and says I, ' My ser- 
 vice to you, ma'am : you'd a son as went to sea in 
 the Mary Ann, hadn't you?' And says she, * Yes, 
 I had. Have you heard anything of him?' says 
 she : ' I hope he's well.' And says I, * I hope so 
 too, ma'am,' says I ; 'but he's dead, and that's all 
 about it.' Well, she didn't seem to take the news 
 much to heart, I thought, by reason, perhaps, I 
 broke it to her gently, as the captain told me ; and 
 says I, ' There's his box and clothes you can send 
 for/ ' Well,' says she, ' so I will, or perhaps come 
 for them myself to-morrow.' And says she, ' What 
 did he die of, if you please?' Says I, * Ma'am, he 
 died of a bird.' ' A bird !' says she ; ' well, that's 
 a curious death. But how was it ? ' So then I told 
 her all about it, and described the bird as well as I 
 could, especially his queer old-fashioned face and 
 wrinkled pale old cheeks ; and, to be sure, when I 
 came to that, what a change came over the old 
 woman ! a' most as bad as came over her son when 
 he see the bird ; and she dropped gradually backer 
 and backer in the chair, and I see she was going to 
 faint. So says I, ' What can I give you ? ' And 
 all she could say was ' Brandy, brandy.' So I
 
 CHAP. II. THE FATE OF CHILLIP. 85 
 
 looked in the cupboard, and there was a bottle and 
 glass ; and I poured her out one, and she drank it, 
 and I took another myself, and then gave her one 
 more, and that brought her to a bit. But I couldn't 
 make nothing more out of her, she was so took 
 aback about what I telled her about the bird. But 
 howsomever she sent next day for the things, and 
 was very particular about whether any papers were 
 left behind, and such like ; but there wasn't nothing 
 of that, that I heered of. 
 
 " A month or two after that I was a staying with 
 a old female as is a relation of mine, down at 
 Whitby, and I telled her all about this, as I've told 
 it you ; and this here old female considered very 
 much of what I telled her ; and says she, ' You 
 may depend as that old woman and her son had 
 been a murdering some old man, and that 'ere bird 
 was his sperrit that's the long and short of that.' 
 But whether it was so or not, you know, gentlemen, 
 I hadn't no means of ascertaining." 
 
 The mate's story was so satisfactory that we 
 thought he might have another, which elicited an 
 intelligent smile, as much as to say, " I do know a 
 thing or two."
 
 86 THE MATE'S STORIES- CHAP II. 
 
 " Just slip on deck," said the captain, looking up 
 at the compass ; " that fellow's yawing her about 
 now he's nobody to look after him ; and then you 
 can come down and tell us another." 
 
 " You see, gentlemen," says the mate, when he 
 had settled himself comfortably again, " in a sea- 
 faring life we meet with a many rough jobs that are 
 out of all ordinary calkillation, and what them as 
 havn't been at sea wouldn't hardly believe. There 
 was that ship as we fell in with in the China seas 
 that was a odd thing, that was. 
 
 " It was only just after daylight in the morning 
 watch as some one sung out ' Sail ahead ! ' But it 
 wasn't much of a sail, for there was only one mast 
 the foremast standing, but a big ship agoing 
 steadily on afore the wind, with her foretopsail set, 
 but not hauled taut, and all flapping. Well, we 
 see as there was no one aboard, or, if so be as there 
 was, they didn't know how to manage her. So when 
 we'd run down a little ahead of her, we lowered a 
 boat, and I was one of the boat's crew as went 
 aboard ; and as we pulled up to her, we could see 
 nobody on deck, but only heered a dog barking ; 
 and when we went up the side, sure enough there
 
 CHAP. II. THE WATER-LOGGED SHIP. 87 
 
 was a poor half-starved dog a sitting upon the dead 
 body of a man ; and when he see us he set up a 
 dreadful howling, but still he didn't seem noways 
 displeased to see us, but threw back his ears, though 
 he looked dreadful melancholy and down in the 
 mouth. But the curious thing was to see the num- 
 bers of rats that was a running about the decks, for 
 the ship was water-logged, and the rats was driv up 
 from below, and obliged to shift for themselves as 
 well as they could. Well, there was three more 
 dead bodies lying about ; and when we come to look 
 at them, the rats had eat most of their faces and 
 necks, and ripped open their jackets to get at their 
 flesh elsewheres, but the corpse as the dog was 
 sitting upon they hadn't been able to touch; for 
 you see the rats they lived upon the dead bodies, 
 and the dog he lived upon the rats so we supposed 
 by the carcase of one on 'em a lying near him. And 
 such rats as they were I never see a'most as big 
 as half-grown rabbits, and so tame that they didn't 
 make no account of us. You see they'd been so 
 familiar with the bodies aboard, that they looked 
 upon us as so many sheep or cattle, or what not, as 
 was come aboard for their live stock.
 
 88 THE MATE'S STORIES- CHAP. II. 
 
 " Well, we tried to get into the cabin, but that 
 was full of water, and so was everything below 
 decks ; and there was no name upon her starn, so 
 we couldn't make it out where the ship was from, 
 or where bound ; and we searched the captain's 
 pockets, but couldn't find no memorandums nor 
 name, only a love-letter sewed up in a piece of oil- 
 skin inside his jacket, and signed ' Sarah.' And 
 when we was a thinking what was best to be done, 
 whether to throw the bodies overboard or what, a 
 voice, as seemed close to us, sung out in a curious 
 low tone, more like a female's than a man's, ' Ship 
 ahoy there ! what ship's that ? ' 
 
 " Well, this started us a'most out of our senses ; 
 for we couldn't see nothing, and the bodies on 
 deck was dead we knew by reason their faces 
 was eat : and says one of the men, ' It must be the 
 dog,' says he : ' he've been a thinking over to hisself 
 all he've heered, and he've been and taught hisself 
 to speak ;' and says he to the dog, answering his 
 hail like, * The Zenobia, 600 tons, John Shum 
 master, of and from London, bound for Singapore 
 with a general cargo.' But the dog made no answer 
 to that : and while we was wondering what it could
 
 CHAP. II. THE WATER-LOGGED SHIP. 89 
 
 be, the same kind of voice sung out again, ' Steward, 
 glass of grog !' Well, now we knew as this couldn't 
 be the dog, because they don't take no grog, except 
 now and then out of a trick, or upon the stage like ; 
 leastways they don't call for it. Then says another 
 man, * I'm much deceived if that 'ere voice don't 
 come out of the mainmast :' so we goes to the main- 
 mast that is, the stump of it and out of the 
 middle of the ropes and halyards that was hanging 
 about the pins the voice comes again and says, ' Oh, 
 sweet Polly I No higher, keep her rap full.' 
 
 " Well, we soon cast off the ropes, and what 
 should we see but a fine gray parrot, a sitting in a 
 kind of a nest she'd made, and looking as if there 
 wasn't nothing the matter with her ! 
 
 " To make the story short, gentlemen, we hove 
 over the dead bodies, and left the rats to feed upon 
 theirselves ; but we brought off the parrot and the 
 dog, though he wouldn't leave the body till we'd 
 taken the jacket off and laid it down in the boat 
 for him, and then he came willing enough ; and 
 Captain Shum he took the dog and the bird, and 
 brought them home to his missis at Stepney, and 
 there perhaps they're both alive now.
 
 90 THE MATE'S STORIES CHAP. II. 
 
 " But the curiousest thing a'most as I ever see at 
 sea," resumed the mate, with an air of abstraction, 
 and filling himself another glass of grog " a'most 
 the curiousest thing I ever see was when I was 
 a coming home from Quebec in the old Jane we 
 was in the timber line then. We was about a 
 week's sail from the land, when one day, just after 
 we'd taken our sights, and eight bells was struck, 
 one of the men aloft sung out as he saw a object 
 on the lee beam, but couldn't justly make out what 
 it was : so says the captain to me, ' You just go up 
 with the glass and see what you can make out ;' and 
 with that I went into the maintop, and sure enough 
 there was something it wasn't a boat, but looked 
 as if somebody was a sitting upon something only a 
 little above water ; and, as far as I could make out, 
 it was somebody alive. 
 
 " ' Well,' said the captain, it ain't much out of 
 our course, so we'll run down and see what it is ; 
 and, to be sure, the curiousest thing as it was when 
 we come alongside of it ! It was a raft, made of 
 spars and old timber, and two or three chests upon 
 it, and upon one of the chests there was sitting a 
 lady as comfortable as anything, and she rubbed 
 her hands gently over one another, and bowed very
 
 CHAP. II. THE RAFT. 91 
 
 politeful to the ship, and seemed noways put out ; 
 instead of jumping up, and wringing of her hands, 
 and tearing of her hair, and going down upon her 
 knees, and screeching, as most on 'em do when they 
 gets into trouble. 
 
 " So the captain he looks hard at her, and says 
 he, I don't half like the cut of her jib,' says he ; 
 ' I don't think that's a human. There's a many 
 strange things and strange sights,' says he, ' at sea ; 
 and my opinion is as that thing ain't a human. I'm 
 sorry as we run down upon it. It looks like a lady,' 
 says he, ' and I've always heered that the worst of 
 mischief comes from things like them.' 
 
 " ' Well,' says I, ' if you let me go with a couple 
 of hands in the boat, I'll see what she's made of ; 
 for I bean't afraid of no female whatsomever, nor 
 no lady neither.' So says he, * You may go if 
 you like.' 
 
 " Well, we pulled to her, and she was a woman 
 not much more than forty, and wrapped up in 
 beautiful cloaks and furs, and everything genteel 
 hat and feathers quite the lady. 
 
 " So when we came up she took to bowing again 
 and gently rubbing her hands ; and says she, ' How 
 do you do, gentlemen ? ' says she ; ' I'm extremely
 
 92 THE MATE'S STORIES CHAP II. 
 
 obliged to you for this call,' says she ; * it's some 
 time since I've had any visitors, but indeed 
 the weather has been so damp lately,' says she, 
 ' that I can't wonder at it. I hope,' says she, 
 looking at me, * that Mrs. my memory is so trea- 
 cherous that really I forget your name but your 
 wife and family I hope are quite well ; I have in- 
 tended to drive over for several days, but something 
 has prevented it. Pray walk in, gentlemen, and sit 
 down. My poor husband's not quite well, and he's 
 asleep just now, and I don't like to wake him : but 
 you'll take some luncheon, or a cup of chocolate ? 
 Strange to say, neither the milkman nor the baker 
 have called for several days, so I can offer you no 
 bread ; but I've a very nice 'am,' says she, lifting 
 up one of her cloaks and taking out a boy's thigh : 
 ' you'll find it very delicate, for it's of our own 
 curing,' says she, ' and we take great pains in feed- 
 ing the animals. Its very nicely done about the 
 knuckle, but I fear rather rare in the thick part. 
 I'm sorry*, gentlemen, I can't cut you a Vauxhall 
 slice, for our knives are indifferent, and the grinder 
 forgets to come ; but perhaps you'll help your- 
 selves,' says she, holding the thigh towards us. 
 " Well, we were so taken aback with this that we
 
 CHAP. II. THE RAFT. 93 
 
 hardly knew what to say or do ; and the lady, see- 
 ing us hesitate, began to make apologies for her 
 husband not appearing to welcome us ; * but,' says 
 she, ' he's fast asleep there,' looking to a sail that 
 was folded and laid over something. 
 
 " Well, I lifted up the sail, and there certainly 
 was the dead body of a gentleman, perfectly cold 
 and stiff. 
 
 " ' Take care, pray,' said the lady, ' he's a light 
 sleeper, don't wake him ; he has had so much 
 fatigue, a long sleep will do him good. But do 
 take some 'am, you'll find it excellent ; I can relish 
 nothing else.' 
 
 " While we was debating what to do, there comes 
 up a big shark close alongside the raft, and pushed 
 his nose a' most aboard of it, he was so bold ; and 
 when the lady see him, she says, * Ah, that person 
 has called frequently on my husband lately, but I 
 have given strict orders to say that he is not at 
 home. My own health is really so delicate that I 
 can't attend to business, and I have no doubt his 
 visits are in some way connected with our little 
 embarrassments ' making believe, you see, gentle- 
 men, as she took the shark for a Bum. 
 
 " Well, the men wanted to pull back to the ship
 
 94 THE RAFT. CHAP. IJ. 
 
 and leave the lady, when they see as she'd been a 
 feeding upon her raw son. But then, you see, gen- 
 tlemen, she had no means of cooking on him : and 
 says I to the men, ' You and I too may come to live 
 upon our sons, and daughters too, for all we know, 
 and perhaps as onderdone as this one ;' and says I, 
 ' the captain I know'll take her when he finds as she's 
 a human ; so we'll tow the raft and all to the ship.' 
 
 " Well, to be sure, the politeness of the lady to 
 the captain when she come aboard ! and the kind 
 offer she made of her 'am a'most turned his sto- 
 mach ; but says he, ' I'll take her, because she's 
 a human, though a rummun :' and he buried the 
 husband and the boy's 'am reg'lar. 
 
 " Well, gentlemen, this here poor fond critter got 
 weaker and weaker and weaker, for she wouldn't eat 
 scarcely anything when the thigh was took from her : 
 and at last she fell into a long, sound sleep, and woke 
 quite sensible. At first she couldn't call nothing to 
 mind, nor where she was ; but everything got clearer 
 and clearer, till at last she started up and give a 
 great cry, and never spoke after. In a few hours 
 more she died ; and the captain buried her reg'lar, 
 as he done the husband and the 'am. 
 
 " And now, sir," said Mr. Gales to the captain,
 
 CHAP. II. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN. 95 
 
 " I'll go on deck, if you please, for the night looks 
 dirty. I suppose you won't tack till morning? 
 Gentlemen, I'm obleeged to you, and wish you 
 good night." 
 
 Then we hear him trampling over head in his 
 heavy boots, gruffly humming a rough stave, in 
 which only the word " Sail " can be distinguished. 
 Presently we fall to. talk of the Flying Dutchman, 
 how he runs into the wind's eye, and crosses 
 your bows as if he were going free how modern 
 science has set up a notion of refraction to ac- 
 count for this, when vessels far below the horizon 
 are lifted to your level, and brought, with the wind 
 they have, close aboard of you, till the very faces of 
 the crew are recognised; they being all the while, 
 perhaps, fifty miles away, and seeing nothing but 
 sky and sea. Every one brings out his story, or 
 his question to provoke a story. It is like the talk 
 of ghosts round a Christmas fire, each smiles incre- 
 dulous, but none can resist the temptation to go on. 
 The skipper has gathered himself up for another 
 anecdote : he is now in one of Forbes's ships in the 
 Mozambique, abreast of Loango just such a night 
 as this pitch dark not a star to be seen ; he is 
 going to turn in, when
 
 96 THE DESERTED SHIP. CHAP. II. 
 
 " Sail on the weather-beam ! close aboard !" is 
 roared down the companion. " Port your helm 
 hard to port down with it !" 
 
 " Port it is, sir, hard down," responded the man 
 at the wheel, as we rushed on deck. There, on the 
 top of a vast wave hanging over us as it were, his 
 flying jib-boom driving right at our mizen was a 
 black mass of a ship, ready, as it would seem, to 
 plunge right down upon our decks, and crush us 
 into the deep. " Starboard your helm, you blind 
 lubbers," roared the skipper ; " keep her away, or 
 you are right aboard of us !" 
 
 But the stranger held on not a soul spoke or 
 moved on his decks. Fortunately our own helm had 
 been put down just in time ; and, coming to the wind, 
 we ranged alongside as he passed our counter, 
 tearing away some of the mizen rigging with his 
 yard-arms, and staving the quarter boat against 
 the side. 
 
 " Ship ahoy, there ! What ship's that?" shouted 
 the captain again, but still there was no answer, 
 nor sign of life on board, and she went on and dis- 
 appeared in the thick darkness. 
 
 " Talk of the devil," said the skipper, " or the 
 Dutchman, it's all one. But that's a Yankee :
 
 CHAP. II. PORT LOUIS. 97 
 
 they're all asleep but the man at the helm, and 
 he's barely awake. If there had been a mate on 
 deck, he'd have asked us ' What's your longitude ?' " 
 
 On the 24th of September, three months and 
 sixteen days from our leaving Cork harbour, it was 
 announced to us by the captain that by ten " to- 
 morrow," if the wind held, we should make the Isle 
 of France. About an hour before this predicted 
 period we came in sight of a round island, which 
 Horsburgh compares to a haycock, and beyond 
 this might be seen the sharp-pointed mountains of 
 the Mauritius pointing like fingers into the sky. 
 Port Louis is to leeward of the island, so there is a 
 half circuit of the land to be made before you find 
 yourself dead to leeward at the harbour's mouth. 
 Here a bell-buoy, kept in a perpetual tinkle by the 
 heave of the sea, is quite startling from its unex- 
 pected and out-of-door noise. To one good lady it 
 afforded satisfaction, as, sitting unmoved by curiosity 
 below, she declared that now she really did believe 
 we were near land, for she certainly heard the 
 muffin -man. 
 
 Those who live at home at ease have but the 
 faintest conception of the working out of a ship's
 
 98 PORT LOUIS. CHAP. II. 
 
 reckoning, or how she finds her way across the 
 ocean. Here were we, after a run of some 25,000 
 miles, baffled and driven about by every wind 
 seeing no land for months yet hitting, with almost 
 as much certainty as you would an hotel upon a 
 well-known road, a speck upon the earth's surface, 
 which, if accurately represented on our largest 
 globes, would be a point scarce visible in a mi- 
 croscope, and knowing it to be all right, though 
 not a person in the ship had ever seen the place 
 before. 
 
 Fetching a little way inside the harbour, we 
 came to anchor till next morning, when the ship 
 was to be warped close in-shore. 
 
 It is one of our happiest conditions that pain 
 and all physical evils retain but a small hold upon 
 the memory ; even the miseries of a long voyage 
 almost pass from our recollection at the sight of 
 land.
 
 CHAP. III. SCENERY OF PORT LOUIS. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Port Louis Scenery Pieter Bot Harbour The Ship- 
 seer Pamplemousses Monsieur Jolly Day in the Country 
 The Governor and his xHat The Adjutant - General ; 
 Anecdotes ; his Treatment of Fever French and English 
 Society Law of Divorce The Brown Boys of Monsieur 
 Philippon. 
 
 THE scenery of Port Louis harbour is very beau- 
 tiful of its kind, and of a character totally unlike 
 anything in Europe. The town is nestled at the 
 foot of an amphitheatre of rugged, oddly shaped 
 mountains, in the centre of which rises "LaPouce," 
 covered with wood to the very top of its thumb. 
 In fact, thumbs and fingers convey to you an idea 
 of the general form of the mountains in the Mau- 
 ritius. Over the first range of hills, to the left, is 
 seen the pointed summit of the " Pieter Bot" moun- 
 tain, with a round detached rock upon the very 
 apex, like a marble balanced on the top of a finger. 
 It takes its name from an adventurous Dutchman, 
 who, attempting the ascent, fell, and was dashed to 
 
 F 2
 
 100 PIETER-BOT MOUNTAIN. CHAP. III. 
 
 pieces deriving, it may be supposed, his sobriquet 
 of "Pieter Bot" (Silly Peter) from the failure. 
 The ascent was subsequently achieved by a party 
 of British officers, an account of which is to be 
 found in the * Penny Magazine.' The great diffi- 
 culty lay in the detached rock at the top of the 
 cone, which rather overhangs the point j but a small 
 line with a weight attached was slung over, and 
 with this a rope ladder hauled up, when, to the 
 great envy and disgust of the French inhabitants, 
 the Union-jack was planted on the summit. 
 
 You land upon the beach at Port Louis amidst a 
 swarm of hundreds of naked black men entirely 
 naked, save each a small blue cotton handkerchief 
 tightly applied. And here let me mention a true 
 Samaritan. Hailing us as we passed the guard- 
 house, the officer on duty informed us that his 
 dinner was just arrived- covers laid for four wine 
 and water cooled and the new potatoes just put on 
 the table. " Come in !" said our friend ; " I thought 
 you might like something in this way after the 
 voyage." This man the really true Amphitryon 
 we had never seen or heard of our very names 
 were mutually unknown, and we had no claim
 
 CHAP. III. THE HARBOUR. 101 
 
 upon him but the common relationship of the Bri- 
 tish service. I am disposed to think the potatoes 
 decided us : we fell upon them, and the exquisite 
 little French dinner, with appetites only known to 
 those who have been months at sea. 
 
 The harbour of Port Louis is small but secure. 
 The two points at the narrow entrance are defended 
 by heavy batteries, always considered too formi- 
 dable to be attempted by our men-of-war. The 
 works at Fort Blanc, on the right, are still kept 
 up ; those on the other side, Les Tonneliers, are 
 suffered to fall to decay, and the guns removed.* 
 
 On the right hand side of the town, viewed from 
 the sea, is the mountain of Morne Fortune'e, ou 
 which is the signal station. It was from this spot 
 that the celebrated ship-seer, pensioned by Napo- 
 leon, made his observations. Much has been said 
 and written about this extraordinary man, who had 
 undoubtedly the gift of seeing vessels at sea long 
 before they were visible to ordinary eyes. That he 
 was so gifted there can be no question. It has 
 been proved by many circumstances, one only of 
 
 * They are now said to be restored, and the works put in ser- 
 viceable condition.
 
 102 THE SHIP-SEER. CHAP. III. 
 
 which I will mention. He one day gave notice 
 that he had for some time observed two brigs, 
 keeping precisely the same situation as regarded 
 each other, but moving under sail, and with such 
 extraordinary equality of course, that it was sup- 
 posed the head of one must have lain close under 
 the quarter of the other, the four masts retaining 
 their exact distance from each other. The night 
 set in without any other person being able to dis- 
 cover any object whatever on the horizon ; and the 
 astonishment of the inhabitants may be conceived 
 when the next morning a four-masted American 
 vessel came into the harbour. There could have 
 been no collusion here, for such a vessel had never 
 before been heard of ; she was the first ever built ; 
 and the man very naturally concluded that it must 
 have been two brigs he had observed, though unable 
 to account for the fact of their so long remaining 
 in close company together. 
 
 The authorities derived substantial service from 
 this far-seeing individual, as the position of the 
 English cruisers was noted when they considered 
 themselves out of sight, and vessels from the har- 
 bour were enabled to go to sea in security. The
 
 CHAP. III. THE TOWN. 103 
 
 explanation given was, that he saw an appearance 
 or reflection of the vessels in the sky, long before 
 they came upon the horizon. When removed to 
 Brest, by order of Napoleon, he at once confessed 
 that his powers had left him with the change of 
 climate ; and he was consequently sent back to the 
 Isle of France. 
 
 The town of Port Louis is clean and agreeable. 
 The houses are not crowded together even in the 
 
 most densely populated part, but generally stand 
 
 faj 
 
 apart in a small garden or court, and with profu- 
 sion of trees and flowers about them. The banana, 
 the bread-fruit, the palm, and other tropical trees 
 and shrubs enliven the streets ; and some of the 
 suburban villas are half buried amid this gorgeous 
 vegetation. The population is much more black 
 than white ; male blacks being, with the exception 
 of those employed as house servants, as nearly 
 naked as possible. European ladies are perhaps 
 a little astonished at first ; but a very short time 
 suffices to render the sight of the undraperied 
 figures a matter of indifference. Their colour alone 
 is a sort of dress. 
 
 In the centre of the panorama the Government
 
 104 THE CHAMP DE MABS. CHAP. III. 
 
 House is a conspicuous object. It is surrounded 
 with a broad wooden verandah, and, though a good 
 and convenient residence, has no great pretensions 
 to fine architecture. Immediately at the back of 
 the town, and between it and the mountains, is the 
 Champ de Mars, a perfectly level and nearly cir- 
 cular plain, bounded on three sides by the rugged 
 and singularly shaped hills. M. de la Bourdon- 
 nais, the patriotic Governor, has a statue at the 
 upper end ; and his name is associated with nearly 
 every improvement of the colony. The Champ de 
 Mars is the promenade, the drill-ground, the race- 
 course, and in fact the place of general assembly 
 for the inhabitants on all occasions of fetes or other 
 public meetings. The races take place at sunset, 
 and the ladies, instead of witnessing the sport from 
 their carriages, send out their sofas to the course, 
 and these are ranged three or four deep all round : 
 this gives a peculiar feature to the scene, and also 
 speaks well for the natural politeness and restraint 
 of the lower orders. 
 
 The roads are everywhere good about Port 
 Louis; and the walks, to those who, provided 
 with umbrellas, are not afraid to face the sun as
 
 CHAP. III. PAUL AND VIRGINIA. 105 
 
 well as the rugged woody hills, delightful. Every 
 step calls to mind some passage of Paul and Vir- 
 ginia, and you feel that, if that beautiful story be 
 not true, it ought to be. But is not the old wreck 
 of the St. Geran, which brought Virginia from 
 France, still fixed upon the reef where she struck ? 
 Have I not with these proper eyes seen the worm- 
 eaten timbers ? A more apocryphal evidence of the 
 existence of the lovers is to be found at the village 
 of Pamplemousses, six miles from Port Louis. 
 Thither hurry all strangers to see their graves, to 
 meditate upon love in its pure abstraction upon 
 the instability of human happiness to write verses. 
 But, unfortunately for these pilgrims of the heart, 
 the two little urns erected in a garden of roses do 
 not stand over their graves neither have they any 
 known graves, there or elsewhere but were erected 
 by the modern sentimental proprietor of the grounds, 
 a propos de rien but his own amiable feelings. 
 The ride, however, is worth taking, for the scenery 
 at the foot of Pieter Bot is fine, and the bota- 
 nical garden, with its beautiful plants from all parts 
 of the world here flourishing in the open air, and its 
 long avenues of palms, is well deserving of a visit. 
 
 F 3
 
 106 MONSIEUR JOLLY. CHAP. III. 
 
 The only hotel of any pretensions which Port 
 Louis could boast of in ray time was that kept by 
 Monsieur Jolly, a gentleman who, if he did not 
 get rich, ought certainly from his charges to have 
 done so. He spoke English, too, after a certain 
 fashion, and this was the great attraction to the 
 skippers and many Indian passengers not conversant 
 with the French tongue. Another hotel-keeper 
 there was, who, dying suddenly, left the field en- 
 tirely open for Monsieur Jolly's operations. His 
 sympathy for a friend and neighbour I happened 
 'to witness. Putting the pen, with which he was 
 making out a little bill, behind his ear, he ran 
 hastily to the door as the funeral passed. " Ah ! 
 there goes Mars!" exclaimed Monsieur Jolly, 
 " dam fool ! very stupid man ! he drink his sour 
 wine, there he go ! You drink my wine all night, 
 never get pain in your belly ! " 
 
 In addition to this source of income Mr. Jolly 
 kept a tailoring establishment, superintended by his 
 son, to whose care the young Prince of Madagascar 
 was consigned with a view to his acquiring that 
 useful calling. 
 
 A description of a day passed at a country house
 
 CHAP. III. A BLACK GUIDE. 107 
 
 may give some notion of life in tl.is colony. I was 
 invited to pass a few days with an English family, 
 residing about seven miles from Port Louis, the 
 master, by the way, being one of the most exten- 
 sive slave-owners on the island, his stock consisting 
 of upwards of five hundred individuals. Mounting 
 a sorry hack, provided by Monsieur Jolly, at gun- 
 fire in the morning, I ambled out of town round the 
 foot of the Morne Fortunee in company with a 
 black acting as guide and horsekeeper, and carry- 
 ing my effects upon his head in a large tin box, the 
 universal substitute for portmanteau or carpet-bag, 
 as both water and insect proof. My sable friend had 
 provided himself with a sugar-cane, about five feet 
 long, which he used as a walking-stick, and at the 
 same time gradually chewed up as he went along. 
 This practice has its advantage, as well in its re- 
 freshing effects upon the eater as affording an index 
 to an observant eye of the distance traversed, and 
 how much of the journey remained, by the length 
 of the uneaten stick. A ludicrous figure my friend 
 made at first as I pushed him a little up the hill, 
 eating up the stick and balancing the tin as he 
 shuffled along, and encouraging himself with the
 
 108 HIGH LIVING. CHAP. III. 
 
 short exclamation, " Ick, ick," used by all the black 
 men when engaged in hard work. 
 
 We ascended nearly the whole way into a de- 
 lightful temperature, though the country did not 
 improve in picturesque beauty. We arrived in 
 time to partake of a sumptuous breakfast, in which 
 curries and other highly spiced dishes held a pro- 
 minent place, inflaming the blood at the very time 
 it should have been the study of every one to keep 
 it cool, and inducing a thirst to be slaked at tiffin 
 by copious draughts of wine and water, or beer, 
 keeping up the fever till dinner-time. After break- 
 fast most of the men walked about the ground 
 carrying umbrellas. Amongst the trees in the 
 garden were the India-rubber, the tea, &c., and 
 the enterprising proprietor had attempted to get up 
 a peachery, by planting the trees (all standards) 
 in a grove of large trees, so as to ensure their 
 being shaded from the intense glare of the sun. 
 Apples and figs were also tried, but it was under- 
 stood that these as well as the peaches were a 
 failure. The most acceptable present that can be 
 made in the Mauritius is a plateful of apples, which 
 are brought with great care from the Cape, at
 
 CHAP. III. PORT LOUIS TEA. 109 
 
 which place the pines of the Mauritius are a very 
 acceptable return. 
 
 An excellent dinner by lamplight, kept up with 
 plenty of wine till rather a late hour, completed 
 the fever of the day, and this was not diminished 
 by having soon after dark a large iron frame on the 
 lawn filled with chips, which were lighted into a 
 blazing fire to attract the mosquitos, flying bugs, 
 &c., from the house. At night the guests retired to 
 their separate pavilions, like small summer-houses 
 scattered about the ground, and forming, from being 
 nearly open all round, cool and agreeable bedrooms. 
 In the course of our evening walk the worthy pro- 
 prietor encouraged us to pick our own souchong 
 from one of the tea-trees, and the strong infusion 
 was brought in after dinner. It differed little from 
 tea made of the dried China leaves, excepting an 
 aromatic flavour acquired from the peculiar scent 
 of the earth in this island. 
 
 It is hard to decide what kind of diet is best in 
 a hot climate, but, from a short experiment on that 
 subject, I am disposed to think that plain rice, 
 fruit, and water, produce the most agreeable feel- 
 ings, and certainly the soundest sleep.
 
 110 THE GOVERNOR. CHAP. III. 
 
 The Governor's country house at Reduit is a 
 comfortable mansion, an ancient chateau, standing 
 on high ground overlooking the sea. At this, and 
 of course at all other tables where black servants 
 attend, they do so with naked feet. The black 
 coachman drives, and the footman stands behind 
 the carriage, without the incumbrance of shoes and 
 stockings. To procure shoes is the first act of an 
 emancipated slave, and many a man, as he limps 
 about in the unwonted incumbrance, must regret 
 that, in acquiring the freedom of the will, he ha? 
 lost that of the feet 
 
 His Excellency the Governor was a peculiarly 
 irascible man ; but there was this advantage to his 
 dependents that he vented all, or nearly all, his 
 rage upon his own hat. When an untoward event 
 occurred, whether of a public or private nature, he 
 took from his head the unoffending beaver and 
 kicked it about the room till he felt relieved. 
 From the frequent indulgence of this humour, hi* 
 Excellency's hats were but indifferent. 
 
 But, passionate as the Governor was, his Adju- 
 tant-general was as remarkable the other way. An 
 instance may be given of his peculiar talent for
 
 CHAP. HI. THE ADJUTANT-GENERAL. HI 
 
 silence. A young officer had got into a sad scrape, 
 and the Adjutant-general was deputed to administer 
 a severe reprimand. Appearing at the officer's 
 window while he was at breakfast, he beckoned 
 him out in silence, and with the sternest of 
 countenances. The young gentleman felt that 
 his hour was come such a whigging lay before 
 him that he obeyed in fear and trembling. The 
 Colonel, linking him by the arm as if the better 
 to secure his victim, led him at the slowest possible 
 pace the whole length of the colonnade, then back 
 again to his own door, where, gravely bowing, he 
 left the barracks in the same solemn manner, and 
 without having uttered one word from his entrance 
 to his exit. Perhaps the old soldier was aware 
 that there are persons who require no severer admo- 
 nition than that afforded by their own feelings, and 
 that in such a nature the rebukes of conscience 
 were even more powerful than those of the Ad- 
 jutant-general. 
 
 The eccentric reproofs of this amiable and most 
 hospitable man afforded some good stories. A 
 young gentleman who rather affected to be fine, 
 and thought it a proof of being used to good
 
 112 THE ADJUTANT-GENERAL. CHAP. III. 
 
 society to go very late to a party, was invited to 
 an evening party at the Adjutant-general's. Com- 
 ing in when some of the guests were beginning to 
 think of retiring, he went to shake hands with the 
 master of the house. " My dear fellow," said the 
 Colonel, "you are surely not going? Well, if 
 you must but we are so sorry to lose you ! Good 
 by it is in fact getting late, and you are a sen- 
 sible fellow to turn in early. Good by ! Good 
 by!" and without allowing the departing guest 
 to say a word, he fairly handed him out of the house. 
 While upon the subject of this gentleman I may 
 mention his somewhat peculiar practice in the cure 
 of an incipient fever, which I found eminently suc- 
 cessful at that time, and on a subsequent occasion 
 at Gibraltar. Having taken my seat at his hospit- 
 able board, with a raging headache, an unquench- 
 able thirst, aud an entire failure of appetite, 1 
 asked the Colonel what he thought was best for my 
 case. Quietly pushing a bottle of Madeira towards 
 me, and directing a servant to place a decanter of 
 cold water on the other side, he advised me to do 
 what nature prompted. The dinner passed to its 
 last course without my touching a single morsel,
 
 CHAP. III. TREATMENT OF FEVER. 113 
 
 but, as I finished the bottles on my right and left, 
 others were quietly supplied and no notice taken. 
 When the cheese arrived, the Colonel turned 
 solemnly to his black servant and said, " Apollo, 
 tell Jupiter to send up the Devil! take it to 
 
 Mr. , it will perhaps make him thirsty. Why 
 
 don't you keep those bottles full, as I told you ? 
 No, not a wineglass, a tumbler for him." 
 
 When coffee was announced, and something 
 more than a bottle of Madeira had been consumed, 
 my hospitable friend kindly took me by the arm 
 and led me into a bedroom, where horror of 
 horrors ! I saw a blanket on the bed. 
 
 " I thought, my dear fellow, as you are a little 
 out of sorts, a warm bed would be comfortable" (the 
 thermometer was at 90, and even a sheet was an 
 encumbrance). " There, jump into bed let me 
 help you off with your coat I '11 just tuck you up 
 warm ; and if you want anything to drink, you have 
 only to tap on the wall, and Annette will be waiting 
 outside. Good night you will have a fine appe- 
 tite for breakfast." In an hour's time, when my 
 friend returned, I was in a state such as those who 
 have tried a German vapour-bath can imagine ; but
 
 114 FRENCH AND ENGLISH SOCIETY. CHAP. III. 
 
 the fever left me, and the prediction of the break- 
 fast was fairly realized. 
 
 The French inhabitants of the Mauritius seem to 
 keep much aloof from the English, and are grave and 
 formal with individuals of our nation. This is our 
 own fault, and especially that of the ladies. There 
 cannot be anything more ridiculous, not to say dis- 
 gusting, than the affectation of Englishwomen in 
 our colonies the struggle for precedence between 
 soldiers' wives and storekeepers whether Mrs. 
 Deputy-assistant Commissary-general Snooks is to 
 be invited to meet Mrs. Colonel This or Mrs. 
 Ensign That whether Mrs. Ordnance-store-keeper 
 Smith or Mrs. Barrack-master Brown should have 
 precedence. The French look on, and shrug and 
 wonder. Not that they are without their own 
 peculiar appreciation of rank, but it relates chiefly 
 to old family distinctions. The pride of descent 
 is much cherished by the descendants of the old 
 French noblesse, who have held their land since the 
 original settlement of the island. 
 
 In their manners the French ladies are perfect, 
 and there is a Creole languor which agreeably 
 softens the vivacity of their race. Their costume is
 
 CHAP. III. FRENCH AND ENGLISH SOCIETY. 115 
 
 spotless white, and they walk to the bazaar in the 
 early morning, or promenade at sunset, with un- 
 covered heads in fact, just as they are dressed in- 
 doors, excepting the parasol. In the ball-room their 
 white muslins, bleached by a tropical sun, and " got 
 up " in a way to break the heart of any northern 
 washerwoman without colours or ornaments and 
 the state of full-dress only indicated by a single 
 flower in the hair is perfection ; and, contrasting 
 with our fussy and blowzy countrywomen in their 
 satins and jewellery, is certainly not in favour of 
 the latter. 
 
 White is also the costume of the men from head 
 to foot, though a thin coat supersedes the linen 
 jacket in full-dress. 
 
 In their intercourse with each other there is a 
 great deal of bonhomie amongst the French ; and 
 this is freely extended to such English as find ad- 
 mission among them. Yet it is remarkable that so 
 few English officers intermarry with the Creole in- 
 habitants. For many years after our getting pos- 
 session of the island the greatest jealousy prevailed 
 between the nations, and duels were not unfrequent, 
 till put down summarily by our hat-kicking Go-
 
 116 LAW OF DIVORCE. CHAP. III. 
 
 vernor, who, without troubling himself as to the 
 merits of the case, sent both parties off the island. 
 
 The French married life struck me as being pe- 
 culiarly happy : perhaps from the facility of rectify- 
 ing a first mistake which their law of divorce admits 
 of. There is not any occasion for running away 
 when the release can be obtained by simply going 
 before a magistrate, and both parties declaring 
 their " incompatibilite d'humeur." Surely there is 
 something revolting in a perpetual chain, which no 
 amount of misconduct, or unfitness of temper or 
 habits, can break. Will any man of the world 
 say, that there would be half the immorality which 
 now exists in society, if divorce (cheap not the 
 2000 /. luxury of our present system) followed 
 as a matter of course upon every proved case of 
 adultery, and the seducer were saddled with the 
 lady's maintenance for life ? 
 
 But, after all, divorces are rare. The twelve- 
 month's consideration brings people to their senses. 
 They often give notice to quit, but seldom 
 go- 
 
 " Now fitted the halter, now traversed the cart, 
 And often take leave, but seem loth to depart."
 
 CHAP. III. MONSIEUR PHILIPPON. 117 
 
 For one couple who take advantage of this in- 
 dulgence of the Code Napoleon, there are a dozen 
 amongst ourselves living in bitter wrangling sepa- 
 ration neither one nor two. 
 
 Monsieur Hippolite Philippon was one of the 
 most prosperous habitans of the Isle of France ; he 
 owned large estates, grew abundance of sugar, had 
 a town and a country house, and almost an army of 
 slaves, who varied in colour from the tender browns 
 and yellows of colonial birth, to the deepest lamp- 
 black of Mozambique. Monsieur Philippon, if he 
 had not quitted the doubtful regions of the certain 
 ages, might be said to be somewhere about the 
 frontier, and slipping placidly down that gradient 
 not at all by a fast train which was to land him at 
 the final station. In person he was square and 
 undignified, clothed scrupulously in white linen, 
 with an umbrageous Manilla hat resting, as it 
 seemed, upon his shirt-collar, and this not unfre- 
 quently surmounted by a green umbrella. But he 
 was a good fellow, Monsieur Philippon, a bon 
 enfant, rather inclined to conviviality, and one who, 
 though rich, was not above being poked in the ribs 
 and called "Philippon" by his intimates.
 
 118 MADAME PHILIPPON. CHAP. III. 
 
 Monsieur Philippon was married, and this, 
 indeed, was the grand event of his life, for it raised 
 him from being a mere planter to land him amongst 
 the aristocracy of the island. 
 
 Madame Eudoxie Philippon was the daughter of 
 a noble house, the length of whose name was in an 
 inverse proportion to that of their pedigree. She 
 was descended from a cadet of the family of 0, who 
 came out to the colony with the celebrated De la 
 Bourdonnais, and whose descendants had clung to 
 the island ever since. 
 
 Madame Philippon was justly proud of her pedi- 
 gree, and delighted to count up upon her fingers 
 the offshoots of the colonial branch, mounting from 
 twig to twig, till she came to Monsieur Achille 
 d'O, who connected them with the parent stem. 
 She delighted to talk about the O's how they 
 fought under the Grand Monarque, under Turenne 
 and Francis how an O was present wherever 
 honour was to be gained ; and she took every pos- 
 sible opportunity of writing herself Eudoxie Phi- 
 lippon, nee d'O, thereby casting, perhaps uncon- 
 sciously, a silent sarcasm upon the respectable 
 planter her husband.
 
 CHAP. III. M. PHILIPPON'S BROWN BOYS. 119 
 
 Notwithstanding this, Monsieur and Madame 
 Philippon lived comfortably together, and their 
 happiness would have been as nearly as may be 
 perfect, had it not been for the occasional birth of 
 a brown boy in the household of Monsieur Phi- 
 lippon. 
 
 " Venus fini couchee ce matin, Madame ; p'tit 
 garc/m si brun." 
 
 The same thing happened to Juno and other 
 goddesses, nor were the Annettes, and Nannettes, 
 and Jeannettes, and Lisettes, and Fanchons, without 
 an occasional accident of the like nature. Now, a 
 thing of this kind might once in a way have been 
 borne. A manager may " snow brown" when he 
 can no longer " snow white ;" but such a practice 
 long continued would exhaust the patience of even 
 the best-bred audience. At any rate, it made 
 grave the countenance of Madame Philippon, nee 
 d'O. She was observed to toss up the prominent 
 feature of her face, and, indeed, to carry it perma- 
 nently higher in the air than was her former wont, 
 in the presence of Monsieur P. ; nor were tiffs 
 unobserved, nor wranglings unsuspected, by those 
 who curiously watched the family. Not that Ma-
 
 120 THE BROWN BOYS CHAP. III. 
 
 dame Philippon condescended to expostulate upon 
 a subject so entirely beneath her as a trifle of 
 brown boys. It could not be conceived possible 
 that a lady "nee <f O" could have noticed, even 
 in the most cursory way, a brown boy, or, indeed, 
 have been aware at all of the existence of such a 
 variety of the species. And yet sometimes when 
 alone there was a mounting of the noble and 
 eloquent blood of the O's into Madame Philippon's 
 cheeks, and a clutching restlessness in the nervous 
 motions of her hands, which a fanciful bystander 
 might as probably have referred to the head and 
 ears of an air-drawn brown boy as to anything else. 
 
 From whatever cause it might have arisen, cer- 
 tain it is that a coolness seemed to settle more per- 
 manently upon the manners of Monsieur and 
 Madame Philippon. The stately curtsies of la 
 vieille Cour were met by a rehearsal of traditionary 
 shrugs and antiquated grimaces : one would have 
 thought that the worthy couple were practising for 
 a levee of Louis le Grand. 
 
 In such cases things generally go from bad to 
 worse. They hovered some time in that state which 
 is " neither one nor two :" at last the interference of
 
 CHAP. III. OF MONSIEUR PHILIPPON. 121 
 
 partial friends decided them to cut the matrimonial 
 " painter." 
 
 By the French law, as set forth in the Code Na- 
 poleon, any married couple making a solemn decla- 
 ration before a magistrate of their wish to be 
 separated on the ground of unsuitable disposition 
 ("incompatibility (Thumeur"}, may, should they be 
 of the same mind twelve months after such declara- 
 tion, receive a formal release from all tie or claim 
 upon each other ; the lady's portion being given up, 
 and the gentleman absolved from all further claims 
 upon bed, board, or pin-money. Both parties are 
 then at liberty to marry again, if so disposed, either 
 to other parties or to themselves ; and it not un- 
 frequently happens that a couple is married again 
 and again to each other, after an occasional brief 
 release from the yoke. 
 
 It was about the noon of a blazing day when a 
 carriage drove with solemn and stately pace up to 
 the office of the chief magistrate of Port Louis, and 
 a gentleman and lady requested the honour of an 
 audience upon a subject of deep importance ; and 
 the worthy magistrate bounded from his cane-bot- 
 tomed sofa to receive the honoured persons of
 
 122 THE BROWN BOYS CHAP. III. 
 
 Monsieur and Madame Philippon. In a few em- 
 phatic words Monsieur Philippon explained the 
 object of the visit they had come to the conclusion 
 that their humours were incompatible, and were 
 ready to make the necessary declaration. 
 
 " Et Madame ?" 
 
 " Oui, Monsieur ! ! " an O disdains explanation, 
 discussion, or remark. 
 
 Never did Monsieur Philippon exert himself 
 more successfully to play the polished cavalier 
 than on this occasion ; and never did Madame 
 acknowledge with more stately courtesy the homage 
 of a punctilious attendant. 
 
 They are now happy, or at least in a fair way of 
 being so. On that day twelvemonth they would 
 be free as air. 
 
 It is astonishing what an effect the words " for 
 ever" have upon our feelings, even when muttered 
 in the most smothered way to ourselves, and when 
 applied to our separation from the most worthless 
 objects. Monsieur and Madame Philippon felt that 
 the approaching separation must of necessity be 
 final. Others separated by the same law might 
 come together again, and very frequently did ; but
 
 CHAP. III. OF MONSIEUR PHILIPPON. 123 
 
 it was felt that in the case of a lady n& d'O the 
 thing was quite impossible. 
 
 The eventful day is arrived, and a dreary and 
 melancholy household is that of Monsieur Philippon. 
 Rumours of a break-up in the establishment have 
 gone abroad in the compound, and the possibility of 
 a general sale of the live stock has deepened the 
 gloom of many a black complexion and cast a 
 " browner horror" on the brown boys. 
 
 Monsieur is dressed with scrupulous care : his 
 manners have an unwonted amenity. He repents ? 
 far from it. The man may soften, but the husband 
 the planter is firm as an unjointed pillar. Ma- 
 dame is dressed for the occasion too ; gay as if for 
 a bridal, with perhaps the slightest possible shade 
 of tenderness typified in the flowers of her bonnet 
 a weakness referable, most likely, to the abigail ; 
 but she is every inch an O. Stately as the pea- 
 cock of Juno nay, as Juno herself she descends 
 the hard stairs of the once happy home. There is 
 nothing of hurry in her manner, though the time 
 draws near: eleven has struck, but an O never 
 hurries. She lingers even over the application of 
 the close-fitting Paris kids. Monsieur Philippon is
 
 124 THE BROWN BOYS CHAP. III. 
 
 waiting in the saloon, hat in hand: a grave but 
 somewhat exaggerated courtesy is the character of 
 the meeting. That he is quite prepared is evinced 
 by a lifting of the heart-side elbow. The buttons 
 of Madame's gloves cause a delay. " Ah ! je ne 
 
 peux pas if he would kindly ?" Of course : 
 
 perjured he may be faithless unworthy, he may 
 be called a proprietor of brown boys he stands con- 
 fessed ; but let no man impugn his politeness. He 
 is a gentleman, Monsieur Philippon. " Le ban 
 enfant Philippon" is he not called? He would 
 button her gloves with courtesy if she were snipping 
 his heart with scissors. 
 
 " Et c'est pour la derniere fois I " 
 
 It was true he felt it: but what then? Jea- 
 lousies, bickerings, coldness, must have an end, and 
 why not now ? But the gloves there is something 
 about the gloves that rivets the attention of Mon- 
 sieur Philippon. He seems to know that glove 
 after a dim fashion, for his eyes are not so good 
 as they were, and he stoops over it to get a better 
 view. Something like a heart with letters under- 
 neath are worked in a dark thread, perhaps hair. 
 He surely remembers the glove, and, if something
 
 CHAP. III. OF MONSIEUR PHILIPPON. 125 
 
 did not hinder it, he would probably see the words 
 " Hippolite, Eudoxie " under the heart. 
 
 It was the glove, and the hand, and the heart 
 which he took twenty years before on his wedding- 
 day ; and he remembered now the fashion of it as 
 it lay on his arm coming home from church. 
 Twenty years ago, Monsieur Philippon, that happy 
 day ! And he pokes his head lower down towards 
 the glove, that silly old Philippon, as if he could 
 not tell what to make of it with his blurred and 
 swimming eyes. Nay, for a man of his politeness, 
 it is too much : be has dropped a tear upon the 
 hand a shower he is spoiling the glove : and he 
 raises his blubbering old face and sees Eudoxie, the 
 woman he loved so well, looking, to his misty vision, 
 as beautiful as ever, not a trace of stateliness in 
 her twitching features or her moistened eyes. 
 
 Over the sill of the court-yard window had 
 .stealthily arisen many times the upper part of the 
 head of a brown boy down to the eyes, and then as 
 furtively withdrawn. He has raised it once more, 
 when, instead of crouching below the wall, he rushes 
 out among the huts of the compound, and presently, 
 to a humming sound, there assembles round the
 
 126 THE BROWN BOYS CHAP. III. 
 
 partly open door a half-circle of grinning faces open 
 to the ears. " Madame, ne vas pas ! Madame, 
 fini rester?" buzzes about. No end of heathen 
 deities Junos, Minervas, Venuses (Peste ! hide 
 away the brown boy), philosophers, heroes, poets, 
 all crowd round, humming " Madame, fini 
 rester ?" 
 
 In vain Monsieur Philippon waves his hand, not 
 a god or a goddess stirs. In vain he tries to call 
 up a frown, or frame some harsh speech ; his 
 tongue even refuses a goodnatured oath. It won't 
 do : he has to do with a higher power, which 
 has decreed that masters and slaves dance in the 
 same round. One touch of nature pulls him down 
 among the gods and goddesses. 
 
 Meanwhile the magistrate is anxious. lie has 
 prepared a dissuasive speech, which has now scant 
 time for delivery. Three quarters have struck, and 
 no tidings of the punctual Monsieur Philippon. 
 " If he won't give the time to lay his folly before 
 him, he won't. I had a thing to say, but let it 
 go ; they may part ; I trouble myself no further." 
 
 But Time did not eat his children with a livelier 
 relish than did the good magistrate devour one by
 
 CHAP. III. OF MONSIEUR PHILIPPON. 127 
 
 one those fifteen minutes. He has drawn gra- 
 dually towards the door, and is slowly closing it 
 with his eye on the clock. At the first tone of the 
 bell he has thrown himself furiously on the door 
 shut it, locked, bolted, barred it turned on his 
 heel closed his books and given special direction 
 that he is out absolutely and entirely away from 
 home and business, and most particularly invisible 
 
 to ; but here they are, Monsieur and Madame 
 
 Philippon, knocking lustily at the office door. 
 
 The worthy magistrate is almost sure that every 
 clock has struck and the time is gone by, but he 
 is afflicted with much deafness, and waits a little to 
 make sure. He hastily runs over the heads of his 
 dissuasive speech, which, with slight alteration, 
 will now do to reconcile them to their fate for an- 
 other year. He knows it will be hard, but what 
 cannot eloquence effect? and it is his forte to 
 sooth pain and disappointment. He has lucidly 
 arranged his introductory observations. If he had 
 but confidence in his clock he were safe. Mean- 
 while Monsieur Philippon is energetic he pounds 
 at the door demands an audience calls on the 
 worthy magistrate by name; there is no evasion
 
 128 M. PHILIPPON'S BROWN BOYS. CHAP. III. 
 
 possible he has nothing for it but the speech ; but 
 what cannot eloquence effect ? 
 
 " Madame et Monsieur," began the worthy 
 official, opening the door slowly, " if no other consi- 
 derations would have weight with you if the re- 
 membrance of happy days the ties of family the 
 memory of love " 
 
 "Bah!!" 
 
 " We merely came to ask you to dine with us, 
 Monsieur le Magistral," 
 
 In his ecstacy he is said to have very nearly cut 
 his own throat with Monsieur Philippon's shirt- 
 collar.
 
 CHAP. IV. PALANQUINS. 129 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Palanquins Dr. MacMorough Black Races ; Madagascar, 
 Mozambique, and Indian King Radama ; his Son appren- 
 ticed to Jolly Runaway Slaves The Iron Collar Mahe'- 
 bourg Old Dutch Settlement Climate Fruits Habi- 
 tans The Red Cow Lizards Land Crabs White 
 Ants Scorpions The Cockroach a Wet-nurse Snakes 
 Leaf Fly Birds Shells ; fishing for Grand River 
 S.E. Slaves Madame de ; Treatment of her Pigs. 
 
 THE palanquin is not much used in the Mauritius, 
 the inhabitants preferring carriages or walking. 
 Temporary Indian residents cling to it. Among 
 the British, male or female, it is not popular, but 
 there was a striking exception in the case of the 
 head staff- surgeon, Dr. MacMorough, who in- 
 variably used one, and that by far the best ap- 
 pointed in the whole island. There was a remark- 
 able dandyism about his little box : it was the best- 
 painted, the cleanest curtained, the best fancied 
 vehicle of the kind, and carried by four of the best- 
 looking, the fattest, the blackest, the sleekest, and 
 
 G 3
 
 130 DR. MACMOROUGH. CHAP. IV. 
 
 the happiest of young bearers. That the Doctor 
 was a kind man might be taken for granted by the 
 state of his slaves : it quite made one comfortable 
 to see their good condition ; they could not look 
 at you without laughing. But, somehow, the set- 
 out was not popular. People, unused to such 
 vehicles, felt a sort of resentment against a fat, 
 coarse-looking Irishman, with a stern forbidding 
 face, being carried about in this effeminate manner, 
 when it was felt that a brisk walk in the cool morn- 
 ing air would have done him so much more good. 
 If he had had the smallest pretensions to ill health 
 or delicacy, it had been a different matter : even 
 a spare habit of body might have been received in 
 excuse ; but opinion went strongly against the in- 
 dulgence in such a luxury by a man of short puffy 
 corpulence and a bloated face. The Doctor, it 
 was suspected, knew of this feeling, for he looked 
 particularly savage in his box ; and though he lay 
 invariably on his back, thereby displaying disadvan- 
 tageously (the popular feelifcg considered) the raised 
 outline of his stomach, yet he never failed to turn 
 his head, or at least his eyes, with something of a 
 glare of defiance at the passers by.
 
 CHAP. IV. THE PROCESSION. 131 
 
 This angry look of the Doctor's did him harm, 
 for it contrasted unfavourably with the broad 
 grins upon the bearers' faces grins so broad, 
 indeed, that they extended within a trifle from ear 
 to ear. 
 
 The Doctor was a man of great punctuality in 
 his duties ; and at a certain hour every morning, 
 before the sun became too hot, his palanquin was 
 to be seen moving from the Barrack-gate towards 
 the office of the medical staff, which was nearly at 
 the other end of the Barrack-square, and to attain 
 which he had to pass along the whole front of the 
 officers' quarters, and turn the corner of their build- 
 ing before he was lost to sight behind the other 
 range. 
 
 This procession, coming so regularly at the 
 breathing- time of the day, just after breakfast, when 
 men are idle and prone to congregate, came to be 
 looked for by the little groups sitting at ease under 
 the colonnade, and enjoying the beautiful view of 
 La Ponce mountain "running its feathered peak 
 into the cloudless sky. In the absence of daily 
 papers, or a post delivery, the arrival was looked 
 for as a prime event of the day.
 
 132 THE MUSICIAN. CHAP. IV. 
 
 Now it so happened that at the end house of the 
 range, which had two aspects at the corner which 
 the Doctor was obliged to pass, there lived a gentle- 
 man who played the violin with an indifferent, cir- 
 cumscribed talent, relished however by his neigh- 
 bours (as is not always the case even with eminent 
 professors), and received with positive enthusiasm 
 by such of the sable population as chanced to pass 
 that way. Did the washerwoman go by with the 
 clothes or a black girl balancing a bottle on her 
 head or a man with a tin visiting box similarly 
 situated they one and all took up the melody, 
 whether fast or slow, and trotted, or walked, or 
 shuffled, as long as the fiddle was within hearing. 
 The Government gang of scavengers, steeped as 
 they were in villanies, were not insensible to the 
 influence ; and even the poor fellow with the iron 
 collar kept his spikes going in time to the music. 
 If there had been a work going on of paving the 
 barracks, and the men employed had carried the 
 materials as they infallibly would upon their 
 heads, our musician might with ease have achieved 
 the triumph of Amphion. 
 
 But there were no persons who felt the stirring
 
 CHAP. IV. THE BEARERS. 133 
 
 influence of the harmony more thoroughly than the 
 Doctor's bearers. An Irish jig was selected for 
 their peculiar use, as appearing most to suit their 
 fancy, and also as being the most truly absurd 
 and meaningless motivo perhaps ever elicited from 
 catgut. It was one of the few pieces of cohe- 
 rent music which our little staff surgeon on board 
 ship had jerked from him with contemptuous 
 elbow in a momentary abandonment of his 
 usual dignity ; and the little castaway had been 
 cherished for the especial benefit of Dr. Mac 
 Morough. 
 
 No sooner did they in the distance catch ear 
 of the melody, than, falling at once into the time, 
 they trotted the worthy gentleman past with an 
 energy and good will which, strange to say, did not 
 appear to add at all to his good temper. He pro- 
 bably felt the ridicule of his fat body being made 
 to bound and quiver in cadence with such villanous 
 music, subject at the same time to the unrestrained 
 merriment of a rather large audience, and the un- 
 measured delight of his own black boys. No doubt 
 they were lectured ; for the gravity of their ex- 
 pression was, after a few days, remarkable. They
 
 134 THE ACCOMPANIMENT. CHAP. IV. 
 
 looked to the sky to the mountains anywhere 
 but towards the corner house ; and yet no sooner 
 did the soft strains steal upon their senses, than 
 wide open flew the boxes of ivory as if by magic, 
 and they lilted past with as much spirit as ever. 
 
 It was quite impossible that such a state of things 
 could last, for the Doctor got more savage every 
 day. There was no pleasing him in the time. 
 Whether he moved fast or slow seemed much the 
 same. The usual course was to take up the 
 bearers' own time ; when, being once under the 
 spell, the pace could be regulated at the pleasure 
 of the musician. Generally he made his approach 
 in an andante, or allegro moderate, increasing to a 
 vivace at the corner ; when the fiddler, shifting his 
 window, would hurry him up to his office door with 
 a prestissimo, going near to shake him out of the 
 box. But the most unfavourable circumstances 
 under which he went past seemed to the bystander? 
 that of advancing as it were to the front of the 
 stage, and immediately opposite the audience, with 
 a brisk movement made to die away gradually 
 relentando and he moved across the scene little 
 faster than a funeral : the effect of this latter
 
 CHAP. IV. THE DOCTOR'S RUSE. 135 
 
 practice was much increased by a change of air to 
 the Dead March. 
 
 One day the Doctor was missed. He came not : 
 neither did he appear the morning after. It was 
 the same on the third. Where could he be ? The 
 trick was soon discovered : he had given his audi- 
 ence a dodge inside the gate, turning short round 
 to the right, and so along the other side of the 
 building. But it was determined that this should 
 not avail him. 
 
 In ample time the next morning the audience 
 and orchestra were moved to the corresponding 
 corner on the other side, and, not to create alarm, 
 kept close inside the room, leaving no stragglers 
 under the colonnade. The procession at the usual 
 time was seen approaching. It moved at a rather 
 fast but stealthy pace ; the object was to get un- 
 noticed to the office. The slaves were grave to 
 melancholy: the Doctor placidity itself; his up- 
 turned face beaming with a calm triumph ; he 
 looked neither to right nor left ; when suddenly, 
 with well-rosined bow, the fiddler made a spirited 
 plunge into the well-known melody. The effect 
 was electric the unexpectedness of the thing threw
 
 136 BLACK RACES. CHAP. IV. 
 
 over all reserve. It was no longer a question of 
 keeping time, but of standing at all ! They reeled 
 and cackled. In vain did the Doctor stir himself 
 and curse ; it made them worse, by raising an in- 
 fectious roar from the premises. They could stagger 
 no further ; so, fairly setting down the machine, they 
 hung together, screaming. In his agony to release 
 himself the Doctor upset the palanquin, and strug- 
 gled out upon the grass. 
 
 The black population of the Isle of France is 
 composed mainly of three races, each remarkably 
 different from the others. 
 
 1. The natives of Madagascar are decidedly at 
 the head for intelligence, industry, and energy. All 
 the house -servants are taken from this class, as are 
 nearly all the independent persons of colour shop- 
 keepers and other small traders, who have pur- 
 chased their freedom, or come over as free settlers. 
 Arriving in their native costume, as they frequently 
 do in charge of cattle, they have a singularly free 
 and independent air. They are dressed in a long 
 piece of yellow grass-matting, with green stripes, 
 which is wound about the wearer's body, according 
 to his own fancy and caprice ; generally, however,
 
 CHAP. IV. BLACK RACES. 137 
 
 finishing with the end thrown over the left shoulder, 
 like the " embozo " of a Spanish cloak. This they 
 frequently unwind and re-dress themselves as they 
 go along, not without dexterity and grace. Their 
 hair is gathered up into many knots or bunches, 
 some as large as a man's fist. 
 
 2. The Mozambique blacks are a race very low 
 in the scale of humanity, and employed almost 
 entirely in field-work, or other laborious occupa- 
 tions. They are the porters, the wharf-labourers, 
 the scavengers of the town; and are absolutely 
 naked, with the exception of a small blue cotton 
 handkerchief. With a broad strap over one 
 shoulder they drag, in gangs of eight or ten, the 
 large two-wheeled carts, containing baskets of 
 sugar, to and from the stores, and load the lighters. 
 Though every team is accompanied by a driver, also 
 black, armed with a whip, the instrument is rarely, 
 if ever, used ; and when they stop to laugh, which 
 occurs very frequently, the driver waits quietly till 
 the paroxysm is over, or only seeks to shorten it 
 by a few good-natured words. No one who has 
 not visited this island can comprehend the extent of 
 a black man's laugh ; it is a paroxysm, suspending
 
 138 BLACK RACES. CHAP. IV. 
 
 all physical power ; they hold by each other, roar- 
 ing, and not unfequently roll in a heap on the 
 ground. Two friends meeting will each seize the 
 other by the shoulders and lean against each other 
 to laugh. And it appears to be spontaneous and 
 irrespective of jokes, unless indeed they have a 
 hidden fund of good things in their native language 
 ready to draw upon at all times and under all 
 circumstances. It strikes a stranger as remarkable 
 that other passengers in the street are entirely un- 
 moved by their boisterous hilarity, and pass gravely 
 on without even deigning to notice the uproar. To 
 a new-comer the effect of these laughing parties is 
 much increased by an individual of the group wear- 
 ing, as is frequently the case, an old cocked-hat and 
 feather, having no other clothing whatever but his 
 small blue handkerchief. It is the condition of this 
 class of men that has attracted the sympathies of our 
 fair abolitionists. The " fellow-creatures harnessed 
 in carts like horses," has been made the most of ; 
 forgetting that the same amount of work performed 
 in any other way by the same men would be 
 attended with greater labour. They would much 
 prefer to see the sugar carried, with distress, upon
 
 CHAP. IV. BLACK RACES. 139 
 
 a man's back, than wheeled easily in a cart, with 
 the degrading circumstance of a strap over the 
 shoulder, so happily characterised as a harness. 
 The whip certainly has an ugly appearance ; but, 
 during my short experience, I never saw it used. 
 As for the labour, a London coalheaver does as 
 much in one day as any black man in this island 
 could get through in a week. 
 
 3. To the third class belong natives of India and 
 a few Cingalese, most of whom have come over 
 originally as convicts to the island. The breed 
 between these women and Europeans produces a 
 singularly handsome and graceful race, very beauti- 
 ful, though very black, with regular features, ex- 
 pressive black eyes, and long, straight, fine hair. 
 To distinguish all the varieties of Creoles and class 
 them is a science only to be attained by long resi- 
 dence on the island. 
 
 That enlightened savage King Radama, of Ma- 
 dagascar, encouraged the intercourse of his subjects 
 with Europeans, and especially with his neighbours 
 of the Isle of France. He even sent forth his son 
 like another Peter to learn the arts of life, and at 
 Port Louis he made his first experiment. The
 
 140 RADAMA AND HIS SON. CHAP. IV. 
 
 intelligent reader will be anxious to learn which of 
 the sciences had the honour to take off the edge of 
 his maiden wit. He eschewed altogether the road 
 chosen by his royal prototype above mentioned as 
 regards shipbuilding, though not disinclined to 
 imitate him, it is said, in the " hot pepper and 
 brandy." Monarchs may be supposed the best 
 judges of the requirements of their subjects ; what 
 ships were to the Russian, pantaloons were to the 
 Malgache. His Majesty not unnaturally thought 
 that the first step towards civilising a naked people 
 was to clothe them, so he bound the young prince 
 apprentice to Monsieur Jolly, the tailor. His Royal 
 Highness at first showed some aptitude for the busi- 
 ness, and plied diligently enough the goose and 
 shears, but he soon fell off into dissipated habits, till 
 in a few months they found it expedient to send him 
 back to court, he being pronounced totally untit 
 for the shopboard. 
 
 As it is, the present natives of Madagascar have 
 made a great stride in the right direction in respect 
 of costume since Hakluyt's " Four Hollanders " 
 visited St. Mary's, and thus described them : 
 " The king came aboard our pinnace to see it, and
 
 CHAP. IV. KING RADAMA'S BAND. 141 
 
 was as blacke as a divell, with two homes made 
 faste upon his heade ; and all his body naked, like 
 the rest of the countrey people." 
 
 Radama was passionately fond of music as 
 indeed appear to be most of his countrymen and 
 sent over twelve boys to form a band, under the 
 instruction of the band-master of the 82nd regi- 
 ment, who received 200/. a-year for the under- 
 taking. They attained considerable proficiency, 
 when they were summoned to their own country to 
 play the chef-cCceuvres of Mozart and Rossini in the 
 forests of Madagascar. We may imagine the asto- 
 nishment of a traveller at being welcomed at a 
 native court, in an almost unknown country, by a 
 band of half-naked savages, with some familiar 
 overture, executed with the precision of a London 
 or Paris orchestra. This great aptitude for music 
 may be witnessed at all hours in the streets of Port 
 Louis, where the airs played by the military band 
 are taken up and whistled with extraordinary taste 
 and accuracy by all the little black boys of the place. 
 The regiment to which I had the honour of belong- 
 ing was received with screams of delight on land- 
 ing, from the number of black drummers kept up
 
 142 TREATMENT OF THE BLACKS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 in that distinguished corps. Had Radama lived to 
 these days we might have heard of Jenny Lind's 
 engagement at His Majesty's Theatre, Madagascar, 
 and her rapturous reception by the Hovas. 
 
 Though the French are usually kind-hearted to 
 their dependants, yet much cruelty was undoubtedly 
 practised toward the blacks by unfeeling masters, 
 and the law of protection ought to have been ren- 
 dered more stringent? Commanding-officers of 
 regiments were forbidden to flog the blacks em- 
 ployed about the barracks. They sent them to the 
 commissariat department, with a civil message by 
 the quartermaster-sergeant, " The colonel's compli- 
 ments, and requests you will give these blackguards 
 a dozen apiece, to make them more attentive." 
 
 In the case of an inveterate runaway, it was the 
 practice to rivet round his neck a heavy iron collar, 
 from which projected upwards two spikes, of a foot 
 or more long, rather inclining outwards. It is well 
 known that a black is prone to use his head as 
 a battering-ram, whether against the body of an 
 adversary or in plunging through the almost impe- 
 netrable cover when he takes to the " bush." In 
 the latter case, his progress head-foremost was im-
 
 CHAP. IV. MAHfiBOURG. 143 
 
 possible ; yet, as running away was in no wise dimi- 
 nished by the collar, it seems only to have had the 
 effect of obliging them to encounter the thorny 
 bush not head-foremost. But to work under a 
 tropical sun with this hot iron iiicumbrance, or 
 indeed to be unable to free themselves from it night 
 or day, was no inconsiderable amount of torture. 
 
 Troops newly arrived are usually jsent to pass the 
 first summer at Mahebourg, a village situated at 
 the bottom of the bay of that name, containing a 
 large barrack on the windward side of the island. 
 The country is exceedingly beautiful, and the fresh 
 sea-breeze, blowing incessantly into the bay from 
 the boundless ocean, renders it by far the plea- 
 santest climate on the island. From an account 
 which I kept of the temperature, the thermometer 
 remained with remarkable steadiness at 82 
 Fahrenheit, very rarely varying a degree. This, 
 though hot, was rendered perhaps the perfection of 
 climate by the sea-breeze. The invalids had even 
 a cooler spot, for they were sent to a small island 
 on the reef which stretched across the harbour's 
 mouth, in the midst of the spray of the breakers. 
 
 The old Dutch settlement of Grand Port was
 
 144 CLIMATE. CHAP. IV. 
 
 situated at the foot of a steep mountain on the 
 right entering the bay; a place inconceivably ill 
 chosen, not only as being more difficult of commu- 
 nication with the rest of the island, but so entirely 
 commanded from the mountain above that the 
 place might almost have been destroyed by rolling 
 down rocks upon it. The French, with great judg- 
 ment, abandoned this, and fixed their settlement on 
 the level ground between the sea and the Chaux 
 river, where it now is. The astonishing force of a 
 hurricane is here shown in the cracked walls of the 
 large stone barrack, and the tradition of another of 
 the men's barracks, capable of containing two hun- 
 dred men, having its roof carried off bodily from 
 the accident of leaving open one of its windows. 
 
 The unvarying beauty of this climate is quite 
 puzzling to one who has left for the first time the 
 foggy islands of Britain. You feel anxious to go 
 somewhere and do something while such fine wea- 
 ther lasts. But day after day of unclouded sky 
 and fresh sea-breeze succeeds. Every walk affords 
 a new pleasure ; every tree and plant is new. Car- 
 dinals, and paroquets, and amadivids have taken the 
 place of the homely denizens of our fields and
 
 CHAP. IV. PRODUCTS. 145 
 
 \voods, and the chatter of a monkey occasionally 
 startles you in your rambles. Guavas, bananas, 
 mangoes, bread-fruit, palms, are the common gar- 
 den-trees. Occasionally a tree-fern, one of the 
 most graceful of plants, is met with. The long 
 feathered leaves, which in their general character 
 resemble the common fern-leaves of our hedges, 
 grow in a mass upon the top of a stem thirty or 
 forty feet high, and descend nearly to the ground. 
 The level part of the country is highly cultivated, 
 the principal crop being sugar-canes, round the 
 borders of which are planted pines in such abund- 
 ance that they are sold ordinarily at a penny or 
 twopence apiece. The mountains, which in this 
 island assume strange fantastic shapes, are feathered 
 with wood to their summits. In the little glens and 
 valleys amongst them, on the banks of some clear 
 stream, one stumbles upon the most delicious re- 
 treats. Almost buried amid the gorgeous vegeta- 
 tion, away from the world and its cares, in such a 
 climate, and with such scenery, one is tempted to 
 exclaim 
 
 " If there be an elysium on earth, 
 It is this ! It is this ! "
 
 146 ROADS JUNGLE. CHAP. IV. 
 
 Nor are the graces of polished life wanting in these 
 beautiful retreats. To the natural civility of the 
 French manner, the habitcms of the island have added 
 a' frankness and bonhomie peculiarly their own. 
 Unlike the farmers of other countries, the Creole 
 Frenchman is always a gentleman, and his wife 
 and daughters, if not highly accomplished or learned, 
 yet invariably elegant and pleasing. But they 
 must be sought out by those who wish for their 
 society, for they never call first upon strangers. 
 
 With the exception of that from Port Louis to 
 Mahelxwrg, there can scarcely be said to be any 
 roads in this part of the country ; amongst the 
 woody hills the paths are scarcely practicable, ex- 
 cept on foot, which, indeed, is the usual style of 
 travelling, horses being enormously expensive, and 
 but little used in consequence. 
 
 The thick jungle of the hills is almost impene- 
 trable, except by those " to the manner born." The 
 trees and shrubs are lashed together with such a 
 cordage of creepers, some of whose stems almost 
 rival in size those of the trees themselves, that it is 
 absolutely impossible, without a hatchet, to make 
 your way. Such difficulties, however, only occur
 
 CHAP. IV. ANIMALS. 147 
 
 to the runaway negro, or the adventurous sports- 
 man in search of deer or boar, or the still more 
 hopeless hunt for the dodo. Seeing the impracti- 
 cable nature of the woods through which some of 
 the brooks force their way, I never could wholly 
 divest myself of the hope that this curious bird may 
 yet be found. There are places which have never 
 yet been penetrated even by the Maroons. 
 
 Red-legged partridges are abundant among the 
 sugar-canes ; but it is almost hopeless to attempt 
 to get them out, and wholly so when they take to 
 the woods. Deer are occasionally found, and wild 
 boar. The monkeys appear all to belong to one 
 family, and that a small-sized one. They are here, 
 as elsewhere, rapacious, destructive, and cunning. 
 Curious stories are told of their acting in concert to 
 rob the plantations, forming a line and passing the 
 fruit, or other stolen property, from hand to hand, 
 till it reaches the depth of the wood ; on the same 
 principle as buckets are passed at a fire. 
 
 As barrack accommodation for officers was scanty 
 at Mahe'bourg, it was customary for two or more to 
 join in the occupation of the wooden bungalows, 
 pleasantly situated on a grassy bank above the sea. 
 
 H 2
 
 148 THE RED COW. CHAP. IV. 
 
 In making my researches I chanced upon a row of 
 deserted tenements running endwise into the bay, 
 to which there appeared to be no owner, and cer- 
 tainly no tenant had been in occupation for some 
 time. It was whispered that the place was in 
 chancery, and, whilst the claimants were waiting 
 for a decree, it seemed to be a race between the 
 lawyers and the white ants as to which should 
 soonest swallow up the premises. These buildings 
 seemed to be altogether abandoned to the insects 
 and reptiles. It was impossible to be five minutes 
 in the place without becoming aware, from the 
 clicketing and grinding noises going on, that thou- 
 sands of tiny nippers, and pincers, and augers, and 
 saws, were at work upon the devoted timbers. But 
 independent of the curious entomology they pre- 
 sented, it struck me that the entire absence of a 
 landlord, whether at quarter-day or any other time, 
 was a decided advantage to an incoming tenant, so, 
 trusting that the suit would last my time, I de- 
 cided to occupy one of the houses. Choosing 
 the most habitable, called from its colour the 
 Red Cow, I proceeded to serve an ejectment upon 
 the scorpions and centipedes, reserving only as com-
 
 CHAP. IV. MY CO-TENANTS. 149 
 
 panions the lizards and white ants ; the former for 
 their companionable qualities and fly-catching ha- 
 bits, the latter from a wish to see what they really 
 could do in the eating way, and how long it would 
 take their joint-stock company to consume and 
 digest a four-roomed house, with its shingled roof and 
 iron-wood shutters. There were also a few musk- 
 rats about the place, who paid their quit-rents in 
 perfumery ; and an aged chameleon was perpetually 
 opening his mouth upon a bamboo stem at the win- 
 dow. I cannot say that I ever detected any de- 
 cided change in the dress of this individual, which 
 was invariably a sort of hoddin grey. Perhaps 
 with his youth had departed his taste for colours ; 
 and, as is not uncommon, from a dandy in early 
 life, he had sunk into a sloven in old age. Out- 
 side the house, towards the sea, there was quite a 
 warren of land-crabs, usually sitting like rabbits at 
 the mouths of their holes, and carefully going to 
 earth on the approach of any danger. Some, more 
 adventurous, might be seen further out of doors ; 
 and their clumsy efforts to reach home, shouldering 
 their one huge claw, were ludicrous enough. No- 
 thing seems to come amiss to these omnivorous
 
 150 LAND-CRABS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 creatures, who act as the sedentary scavengers of 
 the neighbourhood. Perhaps their greatest para- 
 dise is a churchyard near the sea, where they can 
 enjoy the relishing hors cCceuvres handed up by the 
 tide, with the pieces de resistance peculiar to such a 
 locality. Some people eat them in spite of their 
 habits. In Drake's voyage they are described " as 
 a terrestrial sort of crawfish, which dig holes in the 
 earth like conies ; and are so large that one of 
 them will plentifully dine four persons." * Their 
 senses of sight and smell are uncommonly acute, 
 not so those of hearing or touch. No noise affects 
 them at all. If concealed yourself, you may fire at 
 them with a rifle without creating the least alarm 
 in their company, though the balls may shake the 
 ground all round. 
 
 Considering the propensities of my co-tenants at 
 the Red Cow, I thought it imprudent to lay in any- 
 expensive furniture. I had no notion of tickling 
 
 * It is really surprising that the early navigators should not 
 have told greater lies than they did, considering the little chance 
 there was of their being found out. Pigafetta takes credit to 
 himself for admitting that in all Magellan's voyage he never saw 
 a phoenix a rare instance of modesty in one who introduced us 
 to the Patagons.
 
 CHAP. IV. WHITE ANTS. 151 
 
 the palates of my ants with expensive picture- 
 frames, elegantly bound books, or even the more 
 homely diet of sofas and easy-chairs. These I was 
 convinced they would have literally "walked into" 
 (to use an American phrase), leaving me in the 
 course of time nothing but the shell or idea of my 
 moveables ; I therefore contented myself with such 
 tables as the neighbouring shutters, when stuck 
 upon four sticks, afforded me, and the material of 
 my solitary chair and bedstead defied destruction, 
 except by rust. 
 
 It is curious to watch the progress of the white 
 ants, even without seeing them. A something like 
 the end of a small walking-stick is thrust up 
 through the floor against the wall. Gradually it 
 rises higher and higher, as if a stem of ivy, without 
 leaves or branches, were crawling up your wall. It 
 is a sort of wheal or arched passage advancing up- 
 wards without any perceptible agency. Suddenly 
 a branch-line is thrown out from the main trunk, 
 having an eye perhaps to the contents of the 
 corner cupboard. Curious to know what is the 
 moving principle of this singular intruder, you 
 break through the thin brown-paper-like crust of
 
 152 WHITE ANTS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 the tunnel, and find it filled with a hurrying crowd 
 of whity-brown insects, some with wings, some 
 without, all intent upon the extension of the line. 
 Arrived at the ceiling, it goes right through plank 
 or beam that may stand in its way, or, should the 
 engineers so will it, takes a short cut through the 
 wall into the next apartment. 
 
 In the Isle of France they usually build their 
 nest in trees. It looks like a huge excrescence 
 upon the trunk, and every branch of that tree, as 
 well as the trunk, has a covered way along it, so 
 that, although millions may be engaged in bringing 
 to the nest the produce of the tree or the earth 
 beneath, yet not a single insect is seen about the 
 place. It is this taste for living in the dark which 
 gives them such a pale and unsunned complexion. 
 In the course of their progress about the house, 
 should anything peculiarly apetizing such as a 
 book-shelf, a box of old letters or deeds lie in 
 their way, they at once run their tunnel into its 
 contents, and make use of it as a sort of half-way 
 house till the premises are gutted, and nothing but 
 a husk remains. 
 
 After trying in vain to banish the scorpion? 1
 
 CHAP. IV. THE SCORPION. 153 
 
 gave up the attempt. There was always one, and 
 no more, in a heap of manuscript music in a corner. 
 Much has been said about their propensity to sting 
 themselves to death when encompassed by fire ; 
 this, however, is a theory more fanciful than true. 
 A large china bowl or washhand-basin, with 
 something soft at the bottom to break the fall of his 
 tail, is a convenient stage on which to make him 
 display himself. Under almost all circumstances 
 in which a scorpion takes the air, his tail is curled 
 over his back like that of a squirrel or Pome- 
 ranian dog. He is then in a state of prepara- 
 tion to resent an injury. His tactics are of the 
 simplest kind, confined to striking a sort of random 
 back-handed blow as he runs away. Insult him as 
 you may tweak him by the nose poke him in the 
 ribs and his only response to the insult is a smart 
 blow with his tail brought down straight behind 
 him. He has no conception of turning and guiding 
 his weapon upon the offender. The end of the tail 
 resembles a chicken's claw, the nail representing 
 the sting, which is perforated, and connected with 
 the bag of poisonous liquid, a small portion of which 
 is forced through the sting by the downward blow. 
 
 H 3
 
 154 THE SCORPION. CHAP. IV. 
 
 But the animal can only strike an object at tail"? 
 length. Even if provided with the requisite muscles, 
 which does not appear, it is not to be sup- 
 posed that a haughty little insect like this would 
 condescend to such an ignominious form of suicide 
 as that of flogging his own posteriors with his tail's 
 end an action equivalent to kicking himself out of 
 doors, but which is the only way in which th< 
 weapon could be brought to bear on his per.-- :,. 
 Should he even put his tail between his legs, so 
 that the sting might confront a nobler part, yet he 
 has no muscular power to drive it through the well- 
 jointed breastplate ; and his weight is insufficient to 
 aid him if disposed to 
 
 " Play the Roman fool, and fall 
 On his own " tail. 
 
 Although cockroaches abounded inconveniently, it 
 was not without pity that I saw them consigned, as 
 they frequently were, to a living grave by a wicked- 
 looking insect, much resembling a Spanish fly. It 
 was impossible to witness his proceedings, com- 
 bined with his glittering blue and green dress, with- 
 out imagining the elfish demon of a pantomime 
 leading an innocent victim to perpetual entombment
 
 CHAP. IV. THE COCKROACH AND FLY. 155 
 
 in some haunted cavern. Let the cockroach be 
 moving I^ever so briskly across the wall, he has no 
 sooner caught sight of the fatal insect not a quar- 
 ter of his size than all energy leaves him, and he 
 stands stupidly resigned. The fly then walks up to 
 him, looks him hard in the face, and presently, 
 putting forth some apparatus which stands him in 
 place of a finger and thumb, gently takes the cock- 
 roach by the nose and leads him daintily along for 
 a foot or two. Leaving him there, he commences 
 a thorough examination of the neighbourhood, beat- 
 ing the ground up and down like a well-trained 
 setter, and, not finding what he wants, returns to 
 the cockroach and leads him on a little farther, 
 when the same process is gone through, sometimes 
 for hours, till the whole wall has been examined. 
 Chinks there are in plenty, but they do not suit 
 him : he has taken the measure of his victim's bulk, 
 and means to lodge him commodiously. Presently 
 a suitable hole is found, and the fly, moving back- 
 ward, gently pulls the cockroach after him into his 
 last home. What horrors are perpetrated in this 
 dark recess cannot be more than surmised. The 
 object undoubtedly is to engage him as a wet-nurse.
 
 156 THE COCKROACH A WET-NURSE. CHAP. IV. 
 
 No doubt the poor cockroach is bored in some part 
 not vital, and eggs laid in him ; a purpose, indeed, 
 for which his succulent and motherly frame seems 
 peculiarly adapted. And not improbably, during 
 this vicarious incubation, he is supplied with food, 
 until the young, of whom he is pregnant, being 
 hatched, commence, in return for his services, to 
 " gnaw his bowels, their repast." It is in vain that 
 during the scene above described you urge the 
 cockroach to seek safety in flight. The poke of a 
 stick is disregarded ; he seems dead to all hints ; 
 nay, move him to another part of the wall, and he 
 waits there with the same stolid indifference the 
 return of his tormentor. Probably a sly thrust i? 
 given him in the first meeting of noses, or some 
 " leprous distilment" dropped in his ear; for he 
 has entirely the air of being hocussed. 
 
 Although the Mauritius is entirely free from 
 snakes, and, as it is said of Ireland, they would die 
 if introduced there, yet a curious species of them 
 abounds in a small neighbouring island the " lie 
 aux Serpents," an islet scarcely half a mile round. 
 It is to all appearance a snake about 18 inches 
 long, but, on examination, four very small feet arc
 
 CHAP. IV. SNAKES LIZARDS. 157 
 
 detected, two near either extremity. They are 
 quite harmless. Let the physiologist determine 
 how these curious creatures became inhabitants of 
 this small isle, and no other that I can hear of 
 certainly none of its larger neighbours, Mauritius 
 or Bourbon : and the nearest then is Madagascar, 
 800 miles distance, and dead to leeward ; so that, 
 even if found there, they could by no possibility have 
 reached their present abode by wind or tide. 
 
 Lizards, to whose family the above must be re- 
 ferred, are however in abundance. From a pecu- 
 liar pneumatic apparatus of the feet, like the house- 
 fly, they are enabled to stand on the smoothest sur- 
 faces, as mirrors against a wall, and also on the 
 ceiling, their chief resort. They are an innocent 
 and pleasing little animal, of a whity-brown colour, 
 and encouraged in houses as the destroyers of flies 
 and other small insects. From the ceiling of the 
 dinner or ball room they look down confidently 
 upon the noisiest company with their large black 
 eyes ; but let a fly settle, and they move stealthily 
 towards him with a shuffling and clumsy pace inci- 
 dent to their peculiar chaussure, and dart upon him 
 from a distance of a few inches. Sometimes, in the
 
 158 THE LEAF-FLY. CHAP. IV. 
 
 excitement of the final spring, they forget their 
 peculiar tenure of the ceiling and fall amongst the 
 company. 
 
 Next to the mosquitos, the greatest plague is the 
 flying-bug, a creature who " stinks and stings " to 
 the full as much as his pedestrian namesake. From 
 this abomination you are never free when sitting 
 near a window in the cool evenings. 
 
 A curious animal is the leaf-fly, whose wings so 
 entirely resemble the leaf on which it feeds that the 
 narrowest scrutiny cannot detect any difference. 
 Indeed, if the animals be deprived of leaves, they at 
 once fasten upon and devour each other's wings. 
 These are, no doubt, the insects mentioned in Piga- 
 fetta's ' Voyage of Magellan * as found at the Isle 
 of Cambalou. " In the woods of this isle they 
 found a tree, the leaves of which, as soon as they 
 fall to the ground, do move from place to place as if 
 they were alive. They resemble mulberry-leaves, 
 and on the sides of them are certain fibres produced 
 that seem like little eggs. If they are cut or 
 broken there 's nothing like blood comes forth ; but 
 if they are touched they suddenly spring away. 
 This Pigafetta tried keeping one of these leaf-
 
 CHAP. IV. BIRDS. 159 
 
 animals in a dish for eight days." Harris's Voyage, 
 i. p. 17. 
 
 There is no great variety of birds in the Mau- 
 ritius ; the best known and most familiar is the 
 martin (though not of the hirundo family). He 
 is something larger than a blackbird, and pied like 
 a magpie. He is the household bird of the island 
 the robin-redbreast of the colonists. The Dutch, 
 with their niggardly policy, proscribed this bird, 
 and set a price upon his head, grudging him the 
 small board he extracted from their fruit ; but they 
 found to their cost that insects increased to a more 
 ruinous extent as the martins disappeared, and the 
 law was repealed. He is a lively, chattering, 
 singing, beautiful bird, the life and spirit of the 
 island, where all other birds are songless. Not 
 that he is a first-rate artiste, his performance being 
 more that of an amateur of fair average powers, and 
 whose joyous spirits lead him to break off with a 
 laugh in the midst of the performance. When the 
 French garrison marched out of Port Louis, on the 
 island being given up to our forces in 1810, they 
 pointed triumphantly to their eagles and said, 
 " Mais vous n'avez pas pris nos petits martins ! "
 
 160 SHELLS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 The cardinal, though scarcely larger than a 
 bullfinch, is conspicuous for his bright scarlet 
 plumage, flitting about in the dark-green jungle, 
 and there are several beautiful species of amadivids, 
 which from their feeding on seeds are easily kept, 
 and sold in great numbers in the bazaar. There 
 are small green paroquets, but no parrots. 
 
 Mahebourg is celebrated for its shells. A short 
 walk along the beach enables the hermit crab to 
 suit himself with a house of any required colour, 
 shape, or dimensions. The choice is from Bethnal 
 Green to Belgravia, as his fancy may incline him 
 to a univalve, bivalve, or multivalve place of re- 
 sidence. Ornamental villas in harps and olives he 
 may find in plenty, or a cottage in a cowry ; and, 
 with a little looking out, may even suit himself with 
 handsome apartments, including partial board upon 
 the late occupant. 
 
 But the shell-collector goes farther afield in his 
 choice. He fishes for his shells to catch the living 
 specimens. Provided with a line some hundred 
 yards in length, from which depend shorter lines, 
 like an Irish " spiller," he betakes himself to the 
 edge of the reef at night, and shoots his spiller
 
 CHAP. IV. GRAND RIVER. 161 
 
 just within the broken water. To each of the 
 shorter lines is attached a small piece of fish as 
 a bait, which being sucked in by the shell-fish, they 
 are pulled up without a hook. The value of a 
 shell depends less on its beauty than its unusual 
 colour. For a black olive in the possession of a 
 French collector I have heard that three hundred 
 dollars have been refused. 
 
 Grand River South-East, another station for 
 troops within a few hours' sail of Mahebourg, is a 
 very beautiful spot. The officers' quarters stand on 
 a green bank above the river, looking across to 
 the curiously shaped Bamboo Mountains, feathered 
 with wood up to the summits of their sharpest 
 peaks. Behind is the jungle. 
 
 This windward coast of the island is favourable 
 for boating from the steady strong breeze blowing 
 upon it ; but a garrison order prohibits this amuse- 
 ment in consequence of a melancholy accident 
 which once occurred. 
 
 An officer and his servant had pulled out in a 
 .small boat to one of the neghbouring islands to fish 
 for shells, and on their return it is supposed that 
 one of the oars broke. The currents in the neigh-
 
 162 SLAVE-TRADE. CHAP. IV. 
 
 bourhood are extremely powerful, and it is supposed 
 that, being unable to make head against the tide, 
 they were swept away to leeward, and perished 
 miserably. Once past the island there was no 
 hope, for the current would be aided by the never- 
 changing wind, and the nearest coast Madagascar 
 is eight hundred miles distant. No vessels 
 attempt to beat up to the Mauritius from the lee- 
 ward, but make a long circuit to catch the trade 
 wind, so their chance of being picked up was small 
 indeed. Without provisions or water, what must 
 have been their sufferings upon this calm and sunny 
 sea! 
 
 On the coast between Mahebourg and Grand 
 River nature has exhibited her caprice in the Mont 
 du Chat ; on the summit of which is an enormous 
 cat couchant, with a kitten on an adjoining peak. 
 
 I have refrained from entering upon the vexed 
 question of the Slave-trade, being disposed to steer 
 equally clear of the acrimony on the one side and 
 the cant on the other. But I may be permitted to 
 say that, while the immediate and unconditional 
 abolition of slavery was a decided disadvantage to 
 the black from his want of energy and power of
 
 CHAP. IV. MADAME DE . 163 
 
 taking care of himself, yet it was a disgrace to this 
 country that a more rigorous supervision had not 
 been exercised over the condition of the slaves, 
 especially such as were known to be in the power 
 of cruel and unfeeling masters. It seemed to be a 
 pretty general opinion that the crudest of owners 
 were old women, and those who had been slaves 
 themselves. One instance of the former was no- 
 torious at Mahebourg. In the immediate neigh- 
 bourhood of that village there resided a Madame 
 
 de , I forget her name a rich, avaricious, 
 
 high-born, cruel old lady. She had a fine estate, 
 beautifully situated on high ground, overlooking 
 the bay ; it was in the highest state of cultivation, 
 and she owned some hundreds of slaves, who, meet 
 them where you might, could be at once dis- 
 tinguished by the prominence of their ribs and 
 vertebrae, the haggard melancholy of their looks, 
 and, not unfrequently, by the wheals on their backs. 
 The whole country rang with stories of her cruelties, 
 perpetrated in secret floggings, in which the old 
 fiend gloated over the agonies of her victims, and 
 sometimes condescended, it .was said, to operate 
 herself.
 
 164 MADAME DE 'S PIGS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 But her cruelty was not wholly confined to the 
 human portion of her stock. If I were to outlive 
 the united ages of Parr and Jenkins I should never 
 forget her pigs. 
 
 Returning one evening from a walk near her 
 house, our attention was attracted to a distant en- 
 closure (not unlike a large pound) in the corner of 
 a field, from whence arose a combined noise of 
 screams, yells, grunts, or groans, which it was im- 
 possible to refer to any kind of animals human or 
 other with which we were acquainted. Running 
 to the place, we found in a stockade of twenty yards 
 square, and with palings about ten feet high, some 
 fifteen or twenty pigs apparently occupied in tear- 
 ing each other to pieces. But such pigs ! To the 
 reader of civilized Europe it has rarely occurred to 
 see even a thin pig. Self-interest is against it. 
 There is a still small voice in his hams and gam- 
 mons which plainly whispers, "Keep me up for 
 your own sake." We are identified with his chines 
 and griskins, and to see his souse torn about his 
 face inflicts an imaginary pillory upon our own. 
 
 To say that these .pigs were thin, or that they 
 resembled greyhounds, is to convey but the faintest
 
 CHAP. IV. MADAME DE 'S PIGS. 165 
 
 possible idea of their leanness. Not only was 
 every rib distinctly prominent, but the region where 
 should have been the bowels was compressed so 
 tightly against the backbone as apparently to leave 
 no space for a single chitterling. At first sight a 
 horribly ludicrous image was raised of their being 
 dressed, like Paddy from Cork, with their " coats 
 buttoned behind," so prominent were the knots of 
 their vertebrae. But all jocose feelings gave place 
 to indignation at the state of these unhappy animals. 
 They were covered with blood and filth, and their 
 hides furrowed with tusk-marks. 
 
 Slowly approaching this gigantic pigsty was an 
 old black man, pale with disease, white-headed, 
 naked, and almost as thin as the pigs, with a pailful 
 of wash upon his head ; and whose appearance on 
 the field had caused the outcry. Near the corner 
 of the enclosure was a spout, going through the 
 paling, and communicating with a large trough 
 within ; and as the old man drew near the spout the 
 pigs absolutely mounted into a heap upon each 
 other to try and catch the first runnings into the 
 trough. How it ever reached them was a puzzle ;
 
 166 MADAME DE 'S PIGS. CHAP. IV. 
 
 and, if none had been wasted, there was scarcely a 
 mouthful apiece. 
 
 This appeared to me even worse than starving the 
 slaves : they could run away, or strangle the over- 
 seers, or fire the house and roast the old lady in 
 the midst of her wickedness. There was no excuse 
 for this gratuitous wickedness. It was the old 
 lady's system to put her full-grown pigs into this 
 horrible den, and withdraw them a few at a time to 
 be fatted for killing. 
 
 Our first impulse was to let the pigs loose, but 
 this had been provided against by a stout padlock, 
 of which the head overseer had the key ; and when 
 it was proposed to force the door off the hinges, the 
 old negro turned brown with fear. It would have 
 been a compensation for the penalties of a long 
 voyage to see these poor famished creatures rioting 
 amongst the sugar-canes. How they would have 
 torn down and gorged themselves with the sweet, 
 tender, juicy sticks how crunched the pine-apples 
 how trampled down and wallowed in the rice ! 
 And when their meal was over, I should have desired 
 to urge them gently into the thick jungle, there
 
 CHAP. IV. MADAME DE 'S PIGS. 167 
 
 to acquire a fresh appetite, and never to have been 
 caught again ; but to come down, night after night, 
 to tear and destroy and uproot the property of 
 this abominable old beldame, and break, if pos- 
 sible, her hard old heart.
 
 168 SUMMONS TO ENGLAND. CHAP. V. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Prepare to return to England Return by Water to Port Louis 
 
 Monsieur Peltier and La Brave Marguerite At Port Louis 
 
 The Bazaar Jolly's " Bogy " The Camp Choos- 
 ing a Ship An errant Yankee The ' City of Bordeaux ;" 
 her Passengers and Cargo Quit the Island Its Pro- 
 ductions Bourbon Madagascar A Slaver A Whaler 
 
 Life at the Crozets ; their Cosmetic Climate Zoological 
 Society Algoa Bay Mrs. Hunt's The Hottentots 
 Country Inhabitants Settlers Missionaries. 
 
 AFTER a few mouths' residence at Mahebourg I 
 received a summons to return to England. A 
 higher grade of rank had been thrust upon me, and 
 I was suddenly cast loose of all ties upon the island, 
 and free to go home, or elsewhere, as my fancy 
 dictated. The world was all before me where to 
 choose, and I hastened to Port Louis, to look at all 
 the vessels in that harbour, to exercise what phy- 
 siognomical knowledge I possessed upon their 
 captains, and to ascertain by what untried route I 
 might find my way home again.
 
 CHAP. V. DISINCLINATION TO LEAVE. 169 
 
 Not but what it is a sad thing to have one's little 
 ties so suddenly snapped. When a man has run 
 up an intimacy with an unchangeable chameleon, is 
 upon fair terms with his scorpions, has come to feed 
 his lizards on the point of a fork, and can get his 
 musk for nothing through private friendship with 
 the manufacturers, it is not to be supposed that he 
 can leave such a home and its influences without 
 something of a pang ; and the more so, considering 
 the twenty thousand miles or so of wild water he 
 has to cross, with all the abominations of shipboard 
 for not far short of half a year. A man of sense, 
 under such circumstances, would marry and settle. 
 He would enter into arrangements with the parents 
 of Mademoiselle Adele decide upon the trousseau 
 steal a few more shutters from next door secure 
 a few Caesars and Pompeys to hoe his canes get 
 his Venuses to rise from the sea after a good wash- 
 ing every morning and his Sapphos to fall, not 
 from the cliff, but on their knees, to scrub the floors 
 of the Red Cow and so saunter along the rest of 
 his journey through this not particularly dreary 
 vale, as happy and with as little change as the old 
 chameleon. 
 
 i
 
 170 MONSIEUR PELTIER. CHAP. V. 
 
 Though now, no doubt, an omnibus runs between 
 Port Louis and Mahebourg, yet in the days I 
 speak of there were no public conveyances whatever 
 on that line. People, under such circumstances as 
 mine, bought a horse, or found out some one who 
 wanted one conveyed across the island, or they 
 took a passage in one of the trading schooners, 
 laden with cockroaches, fruit, fleas, sugar, rice, 
 bugs in fact, a general cargo. After some very 
 unnecessary consideration, seeing that it was clearly 
 a case of Hobson's choice, I decided upon a pas- 
 sage with Monsieur Peltier, in that fastest of all 
 clippers La Brave Marguerite. " Brave homme, 
 Monsieur Peltier." " Ah ! bien brave homme, 
 Monsieur Peltier!" said everybody. Indeed, it 
 seemed to be a doubt which was the braver, the 
 schaloupe or her padron. Monsieur Peltier was an 
 irascible little man, of so tender a complexion that 
 his thoughts seemed mainly intent upon how he 
 could best screen himself from the sun. In addi- 
 tion to an enormous straw hat, he muffled up every 
 feature but his eyes in a large many-folded hand- 
 kerchief; and, even so defended, he never looked 
 aloft without holding up some other defence against
 
 CHAP. V. MONSIEUR PELTIER. 171 
 
 this his mortal enemy. His crew consisted of three 
 well-favoured young blacks fat, agile, shining- 
 looking fellows, full of rice proving that in the 
 matter of food Monsieur Peltier was undoubtedly a 
 " brave homme" to his dependants. The wind was 
 dead against us, and a weary beat of seven or eight 
 hours barely got us clear of the reef and out to sea. 
 Monsieur Peltier whistled, and sang, and swore, 
 and made himself hoarse with the perpetual cry of 
 " Aravilez ! " as we went about every few minutes. 
 In performing this operation there was always 
 something wrong ; the sheets were either let go too 
 soon or held on too long, and the " brave homme " 
 Peltier, having but little command over his temper, 
 would leave the helm and rush towards the nearest 
 of the crew, at whom he would kick furiously, but 
 vainly, for on the least demonstration of his 
 coming they all ran aloft, clinging with their toes 
 to the hoops round the masts, leaving Monsieur 
 Peltier stamping in a paroxysm of rage below 
 unless indeed, as sometimes happened, his kick was 
 given with such heartiness as caused him to lose his 
 balance and fall back upon the deck. The enjoy- 
 ment which this last misadventure caused to those 
 
 i2
 
 172 DIFFICULTIES OF THE TOILET. CHAP. V. 
 
 aloft was but ill concealed from the padron, and 
 did not tend in the least to restore him to good 
 humour. 
 
 After two days and a night of baffling winds and 
 calms La Brave Marguerite sneaked, half ashamed 
 of herself, into the. harbour of Port Louis, and I 
 consigned myself once more without any reserve to 
 the tender mercies of Monsieur Jolly. 
 
 A striking difference was observable in the 
 climate ; from 82 we had suddenly jumped to 90 
 sometimes a few degrees higher ; and a temperature 
 of 87 at night made it a question whether you 
 could bear a thin sheet or not. To take things 
 coolly was impossible. Dressing, with every advan- 
 tage of leisure, and the coldest procurable water, 
 was an operation of very doubtful success, involving 
 sometimes as many failures of shirts as Beau Brum- 
 mel experienced in neckcloths. When made up at 
 last in thin white linen, it was nearly an even 
 chance whether you would stand the exertion of 
 descending the stairs, or return for another trial 
 us if you had been dipped in the sea. Hence, to 
 dine out was an equivocal luxury ; and when his 
 Excellency commanded the attendance of his friends
 
 CHAP. V. THE BAZAAR. 173 
 
 in padded red coats, he was clearly inflicting a 
 punishment upon his fellow - creatures without 
 warrant in any law divine or human. Air in Port 
 Louis there is none : it is entirely shut in by a meat- 
 screen of mountains, with the blazing vertical sun 
 cooking you as you go about. But at no time is 
 the sun so oppressive as in the early morning, when 
 the insane custom is to face it before breakfast, and 
 so lay in a store of languor and fatigue for the day. 
 To this I would oppose my own practice of a morn- 
 ing slumber, a breakfast of mangoes, pines, bread, 
 green tea, and honey (for butter is 5,y. a pound), 
 then a walk up the mountains, or where you will. 
 The greatest inducement to early rising is certainly 
 the bazaar at the first dawn of day. Here the 
 variety of choice fruits and vegetables the shells 
 the birds the profusion of flowers, filling the 
 air with fragrance the variety of Asiatic costumes, 
 many of them very splendid the mixture of the 
 human race from all quarters of the world the 
 delicious freshness of the morning air the grim 
 outline of the rugged mountains, with their topmost 
 peaks just gilded by the rising sun the green sky 
 fretted with specks of red ; on the other hand the
 
 174 THE FISH. CHAP. V. 
 
 calm sea sparkling only in the distance ; and last, 
 not least, the ladies in spotless white, and with un- 
 covered heads, form a glorious scene. Nor must 
 we omit the wonderful fish more like carica- 
 tures of fish than real animals. Some are so en- 
 tirely covered with spines and prickles, that, adopt- 
 ing the theory of development, we cannot but refer 
 hedgehogs and porcupines to such ancestry. In 
 others the body appears to have been forgotten, and 
 they are simply an union of head and tail, realizing 
 the difficult problem of making both ends meet. 
 The trunk-fish so well justifies its name, that a 
 near-sighted person seeing it at table might be led 
 into the belief that he was served with a small 
 portmanteau for dinner. 
 
 To meet the requirements of his guests Monsieur 
 Jolly had provided himself with a " bogy " a gig 
 with a head but no back, to give the benefit of a 
 current of air to the sitter ; and into this he had 
 pressed the unwilling services of an island-bred 
 horse proverbially intractable. Indeed there 
 were only three roads which this animal could be 
 prevailed upon to drag the " bogy " to the tombs 
 of Paul and Virginia at Pamplemousses ; round the
 
 CHAP. V. MONSIEUR JOLLY'S HORSE. 175 
 
 Champ de Mars ; or to the Camp. This last 
 quarter is a collection of loosely scattered cottages 
 on the hill side a sort of St. John's Wood to the 
 town inhabited almost entirely by ladies of a sepia 
 complexion, more or less tinted ; each attended by 
 an establishment of blacks, showing her off like a 
 mezzotint engraving in an ebony frame. 
 
 To attempt any other than these three roads 
 with Monsieur Jolly's horse was entirely hopeless. 
 Any effort of the kind brought him at once to a 
 stand-still, as if to give you time to consider. Any 
 fresh attempt was then answered with a toss of the 
 head, as much as to say, " Pooh, pooh ! You can't 
 mean that ;" and then he would plunge wildly for- 
 ward in his own road. Hence arose awkward mis- 
 takes. The unimaginative skipper, who had never 
 heard of Virginia, was hurried to her tomb ; while 
 the lover of sentiment, St. Pierre in hand, found 
 himself in an equally uncongenial position. 
 
 If there is anything which requires more con- 
 sideration than another, it is the selection of a 
 captain in whose vessel you are about to take a 
 long voyage. They are all remarkably affable in 
 harbour till you have paid your passage-money :
 
 176 CHOOSING A SHIP. CHAP. V. 
 
 talk freely of the liberal table they keep at sea, and 
 extol the qualities of their cook. There is a vast 
 parade of fruit and vegetables, and, if the climate 
 will allow, of meat, hanging at their sterns, upon 
 the same principle perhaps as that which prevails in 
 some modern eatinghouses in London, where r though 
 the primest joints are dangling at the window, it 
 would appear from your particular plateful that 
 such choice morsels do not always find their way 
 to the kitchen. One item in the skipper's stock is 
 remarkable : if you detect a pumpkin amongst his 
 fruit, be assured that the fecundity of that gourd 
 will equal the famous one of old, and it will enter 
 wholly into the composition of your pies and puddings 
 for the entire voyage. 
 
 The first vessel I went on board of was an American, 
 commanded by a man after my own heart, and, could 
 I have brought him to any specific terms, either as 
 to his course or the required passage-money, I had 
 assuredly secured my berth at once. At first he 
 guessed he was going to Mocha ; then he calculated 
 that a tidy stroke of business might be done at 
 Bombay. He had not entirely made up his mind 
 not to go to Singapore, and so home round the
 
 CHAP. V. A YANKEE SKIPPER. 177 
 
 Horn ; all depended upon the markets, his owners 
 having given him a sort of roving commission to go 
 where he liked, and do the best he could a system 
 I helieve unknown amongst us. 
 
 It rather jumped with my vagrant humour to 
 cast myself upon the waters with this errant Yan- 
 kee, and wander with him through his various spe- 
 culations. There was a charm in the uncertainty 
 of not knowing even to which quarter of the world 
 one might be bound for next. Cochineal may have 
 dragged us to Mexico, or indigo to India. A fair 
 opening for silks might have attracted us to China, 
 or a trifling difference in the quotation of nutmegs 
 sent us to rummage half the ports of the Spice 
 Islands. Sandal-wood might hurry us to the Pacific, 
 or stick-lac to Bengal ; a liveliness in hides to Ma- 
 dagascar or the Cape. We were at the mercy of 
 Mirabolanes and Divi Divi : in fact, a chip or an 
 insect would send us round the world. As my 
 friend, however, would not promise a return home 
 within any reasonable time, nor, indeed, guarantee 
 my landing in an European port at all, the nego- 
 tiation fell to the ground. 
 
 I next tried a Dutchman, whose ship was so 
 
 i3
 
 178 THE CITY OF BORDEAUX." CHAP. V. 
 
 beautifully waxed and varnished that to stand on 
 the decks in calm weather was no easy matter : and 
 he was, besides, given to make long voyages ; talk- 
 ing of five months as a fair average, and touching 
 nowhere. I concluded, finally, with the captain of 
 a brig bound for the north-eastern frontier of the 
 Cape colony, and thence to touch at the principal 
 bays all down the coast to Cape Town. So, having 
 gone through the whole wood of vessels, I picked 
 up the crooked stick at last. 
 
 Perhaps a more unseaworthy craft than the good 
 brig "The City of Bordeaux" never put to sea 
 with a full cargo. In early life she had been a 
 ten-gun brig in His Majesty's service, a class of 
 vessels which have acquired the name of "coffins," 
 from their propensity to find a grave for themselves 
 and crew. When condemned in her old age and 
 sold out of the navy, she was purchased as a trader 
 between the Cape and the Mauritius ; and, being 
 of 180 tons only, was now loaded with 250 tons of 
 sugar, a cargo which brought her decks to a level 
 with the sea, rendering her waist ankle-deep in water 
 in the calmest weather. A poop there fortunately 
 was, upon which the passengers were enabled to
 
 CHAP. V. THE "CITY OF BORDEAUX." 179 
 
 stand dry-shod, but to get there involved the exer- 
 cise of some ingenuity, and the use of a ladder 
 planted upon a mound, or breakwater, at the cabin- 
 door. 
 
 Having paid half my cabin fare (25Z.) in six- 
 pences then a new importation to the island to 
 the Cape, I was ushered with some ceremony into 
 the " State Room," a closet of six feet square, 
 wholly unventilated, and the temperature of which 
 may be guessed from that of the common cabin, 
 where a thermometer, hanging freely from the ceil- 
 ing, indicated 94 of Fahrenheit, with every door, 
 window, and scuttle open, and a wind-sail down the 
 hatch, which stretched its imploring arms towards 
 the mountains, in the hope of wooing a breath from 
 that quarter. 
 
 As the hurricane season was just coming on, it 
 was a subject of no small anxiety to all parties to 
 get clear of the island as soon as possible ; and no 
 one entered more fully into this than our skipper, 
 who well knew the capabilities of his vessel, and 
 that anything in the nature of a gale would send 
 her down like a stone. 
 
 The ceiling of the main cabin, in which the other
 
 180 QUIT THE ISLAND. CHAP. V. 
 
 passengers slept, had something the combined ap- 
 pearance of an aviary and a hot-house. Every 
 available part of the walls and windows was en- 
 crusted with bird-cages, stuffed full of cardinals 
 and amadivids, while from the ceiling an entire 
 canopy of pines, guavas, mangoes, and other 
 
 " fruits of golden rind, 
 Hung amiable." 
 
 On deck part at large, part imprisoned was a 
 fair consignment of monkeys. 
 
 With every sail set, and with the additional 
 assistance of warping and towing, we crawled out of 
 the harbour, keeping a look-out toward the " Em- 
 brazure," a square notch in the hill-top, through 
 which the hurricane pours down upon the town and 
 harbour as if from the mouth of a bellows, and 
 coming in puffs, which in their levelling properties 
 are likened to cannon-shots. 
 
 In spite of this drawback, which, however, to one 
 without house property or sugar-canes, is rather a 
 subject of agreeable excitement than otherwise ; in 
 spite, too, of the great heat in Port Louis, the cli- 
 mate is not only bearable but delightful, especially 
 to those who in summer have the means of escaping
 
 CHAP. V. PKODUCTIONS. 181 
 
 to the windward side of the island, or of attaining 
 in any way an exposure to the constant strong cool 
 breeze blowing for ever from the unbounded ocean. 
 No one, I think, can leave the Mauritius without 
 regret. In the language of Theodore Hook, " it 
 is a paradise, and not without houris." The 
 economist, however, is prone to grumble at paying 
 eighteenpence a pound for his meat, five shillings a 
 pound for his fresh butter, and twice as much for 
 clothes as he does in England ; but his green tea 
 the only kind used is about 2s. a pound, his sugar 
 the merest trifle, pines a penny each, and other 
 tropical fruits equally reasonable ; fish abundant ; 
 beef pretty good, equal perhaps to that on the Conti- 
 nent of Europe generally ; poultry excellent and rea- 
 sonable ; vegetables good, but dear ; sheep-mutton 
 not to be procured, the substitute being supplied 
 by that useful animal the goat, who also furnishes 
 the milk and " lamb ;" and good Irish salt butter 
 renders you independent of the inaccessible luxury 
 of fresh. A lady of " preserving" habits may here 
 find abundant cheap occupation, from the cheapness 
 of fruit, sugar, and brandy ; accordingly, mango 
 and guava jelly, and pines, figure much in the
 
 182 PASSENGERS. CHAP. V. 
 
 consignments to friends at home. That excellent 
 fruit the " leechee," though abundant in the mar- 
 ket, I believe is not indigenous. 
 
 One of our passengers, a Dutch gentleman of 
 the Cape, employed his leisure time in importing 
 horses into the Mauritius a traffic which ought 
 to have been profitable, seeing that a horse, costing 
 from 107. to 207. at Cape Town, is sold at from 
 40Z. to 70/. at Port Louis. The other passengers 
 were, one a supercargo of our own consignment, 
 and the other an "African merchant" a rather 
 large and incomprehensible designation, embracing 
 dealings in almost every commodity from human 
 flesh to ostrich feathers. 
 
 With a strong fair wind we soon left the spiked 
 mountains of the Mauritius behind us, and, the 
 thermometer falling to 77, are glad to get out the 
 warm clothing. 
 
 Jan. 3lst. Pass the island of Bourbon, as unlike 
 its sister island as possible. Composed, it seemed, 
 of a huge mountain with two summits, one of 
 which is 10,000 feet high. Part of the island is 
 covered with ashes, and other evidences of a vol- 
 cano. Though the features of the land are much
 
 CHAP. V. BOURBON -MADAGASCAR. 183 
 
 grander than those of the Mauritius, there is no- 
 thing like the varied scenery of the latter. I should 
 imagine that, from the great height of the land, 
 and the wind coming invariably from the unlimited 
 South-Eastern Ocean, a more equable climate might 
 be secured here by a judicious change of residence 
 than even Madeira can afford. The neighbourhood 
 of the Mauritius, at an easy day's sail, is also a 
 favourable circumstance. 
 
 Feb. 6th. After several days of baffling winds 
 we come in sight of Madagascar, somewhere con- 
 siderably to the S.W. of Cape St. Mary's, the 
 French settlement. By the influence of current, 
 rather than any wish of our captain's, we are swept 
 within a few miles of the coast, and sail the whole 
 forenoon parallel with the shore. The appearance 
 of the land was nearly the same throughout, and 
 presented a noble almost an awful scene. A range 
 of considerable mountains, feathered with wood to 
 the summits, ran parallel with the coast at from 
 two or three to four or five miles from the sea, 
 between which and their base intervened a plain 
 covered with low jungle, and probably marshy. 
 With the delicious weather we enjoyed, it was dim-
 
 184 A SLAVER A WHALER. CHAP. V. 
 
 cult to fancy this one of the most fatal of climates. 
 As far as our survey extended probably between 
 twenty and thirty miles there was no bay or other 
 indentation of the coast, neither was there the 
 slightest trace or indication of inhabitants. 
 
 6th. Standing away from the land. A beau- 
 tiful brig, hoisting Spanish colours, came up with 
 us, and shortened sail, keeping at a distance of 
 half a mile under topsails only. Our ambitious 
 skipper was put upon his mettle, and attempted to 
 carry topgallant sails, as well as courses and top- 
 sails, a demonstration rewarded by the mishap of 
 carrying away his maintop-gallant mast, the whole 
 concern going over the side. The Spaniard quietly 
 set his foretopsail, and left us in this dilemma. 
 c 'f The strong current being here met by the wind, 
 gave the sea the exact appearance of a boiling 
 kettle. 
 
 13^. A large ship of the most dishevelled 
 and seedy appearance standing toward us from the 
 south, signalling that she wants to speak. We lie 
 to, and a boat comes on board. It is the " Eliza- 
 beth" whaler, out three years, and now bound for 
 the Cape. She had lately touched at the Crozets
 
 CHAP. V. LIFE AT THE CROZETS. 185 
 
 islands, and taken off three Englishmen wrecked 
 there two years before. They came off to us in 
 the boat, and their story was as follows : They 
 made part of the crew of a schooner, fitted out at 
 the Mauritius for the whale fishery to the South, 
 and which bore up to the Crozets in search of water. 
 So heavy was the surf, that no boat could be sent 
 ashore ; and after trying all round the group for a 
 landing-place without effect, they were driven at 
 last to run the schooner ashore on the smoothest 
 beach they could find, where she soon went to 
 pieces. The main body of the crew built them- 
 selves a boat out of the timbers of the wreck, and, 
 embarking in her, were never more heard of. 
 
 Our three sailors built themselves a hut in a 
 little cove, where they found a spring of fresh water, 
 and there subsisted pleasantly enough, it appeared, 
 for two years, having abundance of fire-wood from 
 the wreck of the schooner, and amply supplied with 
 provisions in the sea animals and birds with which 
 the island abounded, and which were perfectly tame 
 and fearless. 
 
 A diet of penguins and sea-lions seemed to agree 
 well with them, for they were uncommonly fat ; and
 
 186 LIFE AT THE CROZETS. CHAP. V. 
 
 though exposed much to the weather in their Ro- 
 binson Crusoe life, had the fairest red and white 
 complexions I ever saw. I mention this, as there 
 may be some natural Kalydor or Amandine in the 
 air of the Crozets, which our Rowlands and other 
 enterprising perfumers are trying after in vain. 
 
 The three men had a remarkable air of simpli- 
 city and credulous confidence, acquired no doubt 
 by so long an association with sea-calves, boobies, 
 gulls, &c. On inquiring into their mode of pro- 
 cedure, they told me that, having no fire-arms, it 
 was necessary to keep on good terms with the other 
 inhabitants ; and although a dead body must occa- 
 sionally be seen about, still their object was to 
 baffle the coroner as much as possible. They ac- 
 costed their seals with frankness, stealing however, 
 if possible, between the water and them ; and, being 
 provided with a short club, gave a nonchalant tap 
 on the nose to some unsuspecting victim, or, quietly 
 dividing the jugular of a walrus, walked away, 
 leaving the bystanders to imagine what accident they 
 pleased. In the case of the large penguins, with 
 whom they were in the habit of romping for exercise, 
 they danced them off to some quiet nook, and then
 
 CHAP. V. INSECT LIFE ON BOARD. 187 
 
 privily despatched them. But the walrus was their 
 piece de resistance, and supplied them as well with 
 oil for their lamps as ivory ; of which, and the rich 
 feathers of the large grebe, they had collected a 
 valuable stock. 
 
 In the spring they feasted luxuriously, not only 
 upon eggs, but young albatross chicken, which 
 attain nearly their full size before they can fly. 
 These good times they dwelt upon with much 
 gusto. 
 
 The winter they described as very severe, with 
 tremendous gales and snow-storms. During the 
 two years no vessel came within sight. 
 
 We supplied the "Elizabeth" with two sheep, 
 some potatoes, and fruit. Of all the vessels in 
 which I have ever sailed none have come up to the 
 " City of Bordeaux " in the activity of its insect 
 life. The rush of cockroaches over the bed was as 
 if they had chosen it peculiarly for a racecourse, 
 and that it was with them a perpetual Derby-day : 
 but these were innocuous nay, agreeably playful 
 to the silent practitioners between the sheets. Bugs 
 I have found in Zante, fleas in Spanish ventas and 
 stables ; but what varieties of creeping things were
 
 188 THE DUTCHMAN. CHAP. V. 
 
 bent upon extracting my life's-blood during this 
 voyage, I have said before I refrained to inquire. 
 I expected eventually to be sucked dry, and walk 
 ashore a mere kex of a passenger. 
 
 It was not displeasing to find that the others 
 suffered in like manner ; though, my cabin being 
 more in the nature of a preserve, I had, of course, 
 the larger stock of game. The Dutchman usually 
 lay awake till daylight, cursing and swearing. This 
 was principally in his own Teutonic dialect ; but that 
 there might be no mistake as to his feelings, he 
 diverged copiously into French and English, cull- 
 ing, as it were, the very bones and gristle of those 
 languages in which to give vent to his wrath. By 
 the time he was prepared to go to sleep there arose 
 such a chirping from the cages with which he was 
 almost built in, that his anathemas generally took 
 that direction towards the close. The supercargo, 
 not being a man of imagination, adopted one for- 
 mula" Well, if ever I take a passage again in 
 this ship, may I be particularly ; that's all ! " 
 
 The captain was a man little less irascible than 
 the Dutchman ; but he showed it in deeds, not 
 words. His was a character of rough earnestness,
 
 CHAP. V. THE STEWARD. 189 
 
 with whom a rope's end was a favourite argument, 
 frequently enforced upon the unfortunate steward 
 under the figurative pretence of letting him know 
 " what o'clock it was." The captain carried his 
 favourite argument in his pocket, under the name 
 of a " handy Billy," cut to a convenient length, 
 and having a knot at one end by way of handle ; 
 and whenever anything went wrong in the cahin, 
 he rushed at the steward, with his favourite excla- 
 mation about the time of the day. The unfortunate 
 victim on these occasions showed considerable sport, 
 dodging about such t;over as the place afforded ; 
 till, being at last forced to take the open, he was 
 usually run into by Mr. Ballowax the mate, who, 
 hearing the row, had cast off from the pin a coil or 
 two of the halyards for his especial behoof. 
 
 Though chance had made this poor creature a 
 steward, nature had intended him for an orni- 
 thologist. He doted upon birds, and spent all his 
 little spare time in contemplating and feeding the 
 amadivids. But for him I believe half of them 
 would have been thrown overboard or destroyed by 
 the monkeys, of whom the variety with the prehen- 
 sile tail were those he most dreaded. These
 
 190 ALGOA BAY. CHAP. V. 
 
 animals, making their tails fast to something within 
 reach of their operations, then had their four hands 
 at liberty for mischief. 
 
 The currents of the Agulhas bank and the Mo- 
 zambique are well known to seamen. In one day, 
 of twenty-four hours, we were carried sixty miles 
 out of our course. It is to these currents that the 
 loss of the ' Grosvenor ' East Indiaman, and sub- 
 sequently the ' Doncaster,' are attributed. With 
 respect to the former, there is a current report along 
 Ihe coast, that among those who escaped were 
 several English ladies, and that their descendants 
 by the black princes of the country are even now to 
 be distinguished from the other natives. 
 
 20th. Come to anchor in Algoa Bay, or Port 
 Elizabeth, as Sir Rufane Donkin wished it to 
 be called, in memory of his wife, who died on the 
 passage from India and was buried there a small 
 obelisk on the hill above the village being erected 
 to her memory. It retains, however, the old name. 
 
 The surf being high, we landed in whale-boats 
 judiciously managed, though not without a wetting. 
 
 The business of entertaining strangers had long 
 been monopolized by an individual who built a
 
 CHAP. V. MR. HUNT'S. 191 
 
 large imposing-looking structure at the extreme 
 end of the village, overlooking the small river that 
 here finds its way over a bar into the sea. A 
 schism, however, having taken place in the family, 
 Mrs. Hunt, the wife, retired from all connexion 
 with the old concern, and set up an opposition 
 hotel at the other end of the place. Thinking it 
 probable that the comforts would go with the better 
 half, we decided upon committing ourselves to the 
 new establishment. 
 
 The first thing that struck us on landing was a 
 kraal, or circular enclosure, of whales' bones stuck 
 upright in the sand, and intended, by passing a 
 rope all round, to keep the cattle in at night. A 
 little above this was Mr. Hunt's unpretending 
 thatched tenement, looking extremely clean and 
 English-like, but with two large pelicans preening 
 themselves on the roof, and half a dozen ostriches 
 wandering at large in the back yard. Lying 
 against a shady wall were some five or six yellow- 
 brown individuals, extremely filthy in appearance, 
 with a peculiar expression of face half-cunning, 
 half-savage; their hair unacquainted since their 
 birth with a comb, as their persons seemed to be
 
 192 THE HOTTENTOTS. CHAP. V. 
 
 with soap and water, and their wild matted locks 
 hanging over their sharp bead-like eyes. Each 
 was clothed in a very indifferent pair of old leather 
 trowsers, and had a jacket of the same, out at 
 elbows and covered with filth and grease, dried 
 blood, and sand. No garments of any other kind 
 whatever. 
 
 This was our first introduction to the Hottentots ; 
 and their personal habits seemed but little improved 
 since the time of Hakluyt's Four Hollanders, who 
 thus speak of them : 
 
 " The inhabitants very beastly and stinking, in 
 such sort that you may smell them in the wind at 
 the least a fadom from you. They are apparelled 
 with beastes' skinnes, made fast about their neckes ; 
 some of them, being of the better sort, had their 
 mantles cut and raised checkerwise, which is a great 
 ornament with them. They eate raw flesh as it is 
 new killed, and the entrailles of beastes without 
 washing or making cleane, gnawing it like dogs. 
 Neither could we understand them, for they speak 
 very strangely, much like to children in our 
 country, with thin pipes, and clocking like turkey- 
 cocks." p. 221.
 
 CHAP. V. MRS. HUNTS. 193 
 
 The females of this interesting breed, who were 
 the chambermaids, scullions, and maids-of-all-work 
 of the house, were arrayed in a sort of shawl and 
 petticoat for their only garments : they were also a 
 thought cleaner than the men ; and it was generally 
 thought that, with the assistance of a scrubbing-brush, 
 they might be rendered not wholly bad-looking. 
 
 Mrs. Hunt, a buxom Englishwoman of the ample 
 time of life, might be said to monopolize most 
 trades and callings in her own person, independent 
 of keeping the hotel. She had a store of wines, 
 spirits, groceries, fruits, flour, bread, hardware, 
 calicos, cottons, hosiery, hats, clothing, and shoes. 
 She was a butcher in large practice, for she kept 
 flocks and herds to be slaughtered at the shortest 
 notice for such shipping as touched at the bay ; 
 and this was the way the Hottentots dealt with 
 such cattle as were consigned to their tender 
 mercies. 
 
 In the yard behind the house was fixed a large 
 iron ring pinned to the ground. A rope being made 
 fast to the beast's horns and passed through the 
 ring, three or four of them then hauled upon him 
 till the animal's nose was brought down to the ring. 
 
 K
 
 194 MRS. HUNTS. CHAP. V. 
 
 A man with a sharp knife then cut the throat so 
 effectually, that the head only remained attached to 
 the body by the vertebrae ; and this seemed well- 
 nigh twisted asunder by the struggles of the animal 
 on the ground. A full-grown ox, in good condition, 
 though somewhat below the Smithfield standard, 
 fetched about 11. sterling; a sheep, whose tail 
 alone weighed 10 or 12 Ibs.., 7s. Qd. ; and a turkey 
 about the same : so that plenty reigned at Mrs. 
 Hunt's board ; and the grapes, apples, and melons 
 being delivered in crates rather than baskets, we 
 had abundance of good things. The wholesome- 
 ness of water-melons was amply proved by the per- 
 formances of Mrs. Hunt's daughter, a little girl of 
 eight or nine years of age, whose face was buried 
 during the day in segments of this delicious fruit, 
 as if she was perpetually eating up half-moons. 
 
 Thither came the Dutch farmers to exchange 
 their cattle, grain, and fruit for the luxuries of the 
 store. Huge men they were, heavy in the extreme, 
 but with an air of broad impassive good nature, 
 shaking hands as a matter of course, and inquiring 
 earnestly as to the health of yourself and friends, 
 your motives for coming to Africa, and where you
 
 CHAP. V. THE COUNTRY. 195 
 
 were going next. Our arrival, with tea, sugar, and 
 French brandy, was a strong attraction to the boers, 
 but, amongst all the good things we brought, pre- 
 served China ginger had the greatest charm for 
 them. In making a bargain for some of this it was 
 not uncommon for the purchaser to consume a 
 whole jar during the discussion. 
 
 The country about Algoa Bay is hilly, with a light 
 sandy soil, covered, but not very thickly, with heath, 
 and with occasional clumps of mimosa and other 
 bushy trees, growing to no great size. The deer 
 were not quite banished, and might be found within 
 half a mile of the village, but were wild, and rarely- 
 afforded a shot. In my rambles I discovered a 
 pool of small dimensions in the midst of a half-dried 
 marsh, and thither the Dutch passenger and myself 
 spent several hours firing at innumerable flocks of 
 wild ducks. The Dutchman had a tolerable gun, 
 but mine was an old ship firelock, of the bell- 
 mouthed variety introduced in the time of Queen 
 Anne, and had probably been serviceable at Blen- 
 heim or Malplaquet, The ignition of the powder 
 in this instrument was so slow that the descent of 
 the cock might have been likened to the opening of
 
 196 INHABITANTS. CHAP. V. 
 
 a snuffbox, the flash of the pan to the pinch taken, 
 and the report to the sneeze after it. 
 
 Taking our respective stations on either side of 
 
 the pond, my friend and self maintained a steady 
 
 fire for two hours at ducks rarely farther than 
 
 *'\ twenty yards, and when the ammunition was all 
 
 gone we had secured a duck each. 
 
 -- 
 ^ The inhabitants of the village of Port Elizabeth 
 
 ^ consisted of a few of the original Dutch settlers, 
 inhabiting houses built on the old Dutch model, 
 with ornamental gables, and characterised by an 
 air of prim neatness. These mixed but little with 
 the very miscellaneous flock, principally birds of 
 passage, barely alighting at the bay. These con- 
 sisted of scheming speculators, unfortunate colonists, 
 either just arrived from England, or on their way 
 elsewhere after the failure of their hopes in Africa 
 an unsettled, anxious population, who had staked 
 tfceir all upon the venture, and found the odds 
 rather against them. To these might be added 
 a sprinkling of missionaries, partly fugitive like the 
 settlers, partly belonging to the station at Bethels- 
 dorp. 
 
 These gentlemen, for the most part, exhibited a
 
 CHAP. V. MISSIONARIES. 197 
 
 composed tranquillity of demeanour much at vari- 
 ance with the general go-ahead excitement. They 
 had the happy air of those who live upon annuities, 
 and feel the complacent certainty of well-doing. 
 Little compunction did they seem to feel for the 
 labours of those earnest, middle-aged young ladies 
 toiling about our towns and villages in their behalf, 
 levying almost extorting the reluctant " pennies 
 a month " for the good cause. That these gentlemen 
 do good there can be no question, but it seems a 
 pity that their energies are not given in a more 
 liberal and extended spirit. Surely it cannot be 
 necessary to put down everything that is pleasant, 
 to connect the devil with the most innocent enjoy- 
 ments, and to make hymn-singing our only overt 
 act of hilarity. Anything more dreary and un- 
 comfortable than a converted savage I have never 
 seen in the form of humanity. He has discarded 
 all spirit and picturesqueness with his kaross, and 
 set up cant and the narrowest bigotry with his 
 highlows. 
 
 We had a precious specimen at Mrs. Hunt's 
 a young man of a sepia colour, superior to the 
 Hottentot as touching his tint, though on a level
 
 198 A CONVERT. CHAP. V. 
 
 with him as touching his nastiness. He had not 
 arrived at the highlow state, but, having been the 
 servant of some good man about the Bay, had im- 
 bibed an inveterate taste for psalmody. Sitting 
 the livelong day propped against the shady side 
 of a wall, he poured forth with endless iteration 
 his one hymn, of which every part was unintelligible 
 but the concluding words of each verse 
 
 " The sufferings off de Laaambe." 
 
 From morn till noon, from noon till dewy eve, 
 unless specially employed elsewhere, which hap- 
 pened rarely, did he drawl out this deplorable ditty. 
 He attached no meaning to the words, and knew 
 no more about the Lamb or his sufferings than one 
 of the lower animals. To read, write, or attend to 
 any serious business within hearing of such a 
 nuisance, was impossible ; accordingly he became a 
 butt for the missiles of those engaged in more pro- 
 fane occupations: apples, potatoes, segments of 
 pumpkin were hurled at him, with an occasional 
 handful of wet clay from the well, where the serving 
 man Ben was pursuing his subterranean work. 
 This functionary had attempted to get up a counter-
 
 CHAP. V. EMINENT PREACHERS. 199 
 
 irritation by instructing one of the Hottentots in a 
 melody of a totally different character ; one verse 
 of which ran thus : 
 
 " Father was a Mantatee, 
 Mother was a Fingoe, 
 Sister was a shocking B., 
 And I 'm a rogue by Jingo" 
 
 to the tune of Yankee Doodle ; but the unwearied 
 persistency of the sacred songster drove all se- 
 cular opposition out of the field. 
 
 There was one circumstance in my intercourse 
 with my friends the missionaries at the Bay which 
 not only surprised but rather humiliated me my 
 total ignorance of even the names of the real great 
 men of the day, more especially the preachers. I 
 had previously flattered myself with having heard 
 something like pulpit eloquence from Sidney Smith, 
 Chalmers, and others. Pooh ! had I ever heard 
 the world-famed Perkins? or Tomkins ? or Jen- 
 ins ? No ! The smile of benevolent contempt 
 with which they regarded the condition of one who 
 had never seen, or even heard of, these shining 
 lights ! It is for me to record the humiliating fact, 
 that to this hour, I believe, the world - famed
 
 200 THE MISSIONARIES. CHAP. V. 
 
 Perkins is hiding his radiance under some little 
 bushel of a chapel at Highbury. 
 
 Having had my "fling" at these gentlemen, I 
 have the more pleasing task of recording their good 
 qualities. The fortitude, devotion to the cause, 
 self-reliance, and the patient unflinching energy 
 exhibited by many those especially on and beyond 
 the frontier cannot be too highly commended. 
 Cast wholly amongst savages, and representing 
 almost every trade in their own persons, they are 
 gradually instilling amongst them the blessings of 
 religion, education, and the arts of life pity only 
 that the zeal of some should blind them to the fact, 
 that to establish a too high and vexatious standard 
 of excellence is the certain encouragement of hypo- 
 crisy and cant.
 
 CHAP. VI. COLONIAL NAMES. 201 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Name of Algoa Bay A Party of Kaffirs Comparative Prac- 
 tice of the Assagai and Rifle Ben the Indispensable 
 Washing the Hottentots The Shaving Cherub Settlers 
 Game Leave the Bay The Delagoa Skipper Mossel 
 Bay A Day at the Deer A Boer Two Female Boers 
 A Party at the Store My First Offer Again at Sea. 
 
 I USE the name of Algoa Bay in preference to Port 
 Elizabeth, as being the more original ; and if we 
 knew the Hottentot name for it, so much the better. 
 What have our Elizabeths to do with South Africa ? 
 Why not stick to the original designations of places, 
 which have always some meaning, besides being 
 more picturesque, instead of planting the whole 
 earth with new Londons, and Yorks, and Canter- 
 burys, which have no reference whatever to the 
 scenery or other conditions of the place ? Can any- 
 thing be more incongruous than a Wapping on the 
 banks of a river filled with hippopotamuses, or 
 
 K 3
 
 202 A PARTY OF KAFFIRS. CHAP. VI. 
 
 Vauxhall, Stepney, or Stoke Pogis, surrounded by 
 tropical vegetation ? 
 
 There were at this time at AlgoaBay four Kaffirs, 
 who had come down with cattle for sale. They 
 were tall fine men, of great activity, and with a very 
 considerable expression of intelligence in their fea- 
 tures. The youngest and best looking was under- 
 stood to be a chief, though there appeared to be but 
 little, if any, additional deference paid to him by 
 the others on that account. Pending the negotia- 
 tion for the sale, they drove the cattle out upon the 
 hills to feed, and I had frequent opportunities of 
 hearing the celebrated whistle rather a sound be- 
 tween a scream and a whistle which has such an 
 extraordinary effect upon the beasts. They fly 
 before it with frantic terror, and this alone will 
 get them on, though apparently dead beat. Even 
 cattle, it is said, that hear it for the first time are 
 similarly affected. This terrific noise is the most 
 powerful weapon they bring upon their forays ; and 
 to say that the settlers may " whistle " for their 
 cattle in return is investing the phrase with more 
 than its proverbial hopelessness. These men had 
 brought with them a few assagais, all of the lighter
 
 CHAP. VI. ASSAGAI-PRACTICE. 203 
 
 kind ; the shaft of the dart being about five feet 
 long, of very hard wood, and tapering from the size 
 of one's finger almost to that of a tobacco-pipe 
 at the smaller end. A heavy iron point, six or 
 eight inches long, is affixed to the larger end of the 
 shaft, to which it is bound tightly by sinews. They 
 passed much of their leisure time in throwing these 
 weapons at a post stuck upright in the sand, from a 
 distance of about thirty-five yards. Not being 
 altogether unpractised in throwing a dart, I joined, 
 to their great satisfaction, in this diversion, and on 
 my first essay hit the post full in the centre, driving 
 the point very creditably, and to me most unexpect- 
 edly, into the soft deal. The Kaffirs simultane- 
 ously shouted " Hah !" at the good shot ; but the 
 flight of the weapon did not please them, and they 
 took great pains to instruct me in the manner of 
 holding and delivering the assagai from the hand. 
 It is held on the balance just above the heavy iron, 
 and resting on the ball of the thumb, with the fingers 
 pretty tightly pressed down upon the top. The art 
 of throwing it consists in giving it a pull or twist 
 with the fingers as it leaves the hand, which com- 
 municates a rotatory motion to the dart and sends
 
 204 RIFLE-PRACTICE. CHAP. VI. 
 
 it spinning through the air. In fact the Kaffir's 
 fingers act upon the assagai as the grooved harrel 
 of a rifle does upon the ball, not only in ensuring a 
 steadier flight, but a greater power, to the pro- 
 jectile. This twist is by no means easy of acquire- 
 ment, as I found out after long practice. Not 
 caring to be outdone by these civil savages, I sent 
 for my rifle, and fired half a dozen balls into the 
 post at a distance of a hundred and twenty paces. 
 At every shot they cried out " Hah !" louder than 
 before, and I could scarcely get them to keep clear 
 of the post in their eagerness to see where the ball 
 would strike. When the wood was bulged out on 
 the opposite side their extacy knew no bounds, and 
 they danced for joy. A shot fired over the smooth 
 sea astonished them much, as they watched the ball 
 dapping along the surface, to them an incredible 
 distance. One of them, the wit of the party, 
 affected to trace the ball over the horizon, and said 
 something which produced a roar of laughter ; but 
 this good thing was lost to us for want of an inter- 
 preter to render its point out of the Amakosa 
 tongue. These men were dressed in karosses, 
 which are cloaks made of leather, as often thrown
 
 CHAP. VI. KAFFIR DRESS. 205 
 
 off as worn, and an apology for pantaloons consist- 
 ing of a thong or two of leather, of the barest suffi- 
 ciency. In the dress of South Africa the maxim 
 seems to be " nothing like leather." It is the sole 
 material of the scanty dress of all the savages ; and 
 the first thing an European does on arriving at 
 the Cape at least if his occasions call him to 
 travel at all is to invest himself in a pair of 
 "^crackers, as the buckskin trowsers are familiarly 
 called. These, when old Time has begun to pick 
 holes in them, descend to the Hottentots, by whom 
 they are not discarded as long as anything like a 
 decent fringe remains hanging to the waistband. 
 
 The Kaffirs contrast very favourably with the 
 Hottentots, having at least in their features 
 none of the ugly malignity of that hideous race. 
 They are also decidedly cleaner, and, like most 
 savages, have a frank and manly confidence of 
 manner. 
 
 At the head of Mrs. Hunt's establishment she 
 had judiciously placed an individual of the name of 
 Ben, before spoken of, an Englishman, who had 
 served on board of a man-of-war, and exercised a 
 rigid discipline over the Hottentots, with the rare
 
 206 BEN THE INDISPENSABLE. CHAP. VI. 
 
 accompaniment of making endless fun. His system, 
 was composed of pantomime and rough jokes 
 mostly practical. He was a stolid, heavy fellow, of 
 a countenance entirely impassive, and it was difficult 
 at first to account for the roars of laughter which 
 attended him. Mrs. Hunt was justly proud of her 
 servingman, and his appeal for a tumbler of wine 
 was never made in vain : indeed, this strong beve- 
 rage was most liberally drawn off from the cask to 
 all comers, that being the preliminary to any nego- 
 tiation. Ben's pantomime had mostly an insidious 
 tendency ; while the side of his face towards the 
 company exhibited an unruffled composure, the 
 other half was worked into the most outrageous 
 winks and distortions. His occupation just then 
 was in the well, from whence there issued the most 
 unearthly noises, and now and then a lump of mud 
 reminded the Hottentots that they were still under 
 supervision. 
 
 The filthy persons of the Hottentots being a mat- 
 ter of some scandal to Mrs. Hunt's establishment, 
 it was decided by one of her guests to attempt a 
 reformation in that particular, and he took into his 
 counsels the indispensable servingman Ben. This
 
 CHAP. VI. WASHING THE HOTTENTOTS. 207 
 
 functionary heard the proposition with much com- 
 placency, casting an occasional look at his victims, 
 as if calculating the amount of surface to be 
 scrubbed, and the soap likely to be used in the 
 operation. 
 
 The next morning at an early hour the house- 
 hold was disturbed by a terrible cackling in broken 
 Dutch and other unknown tongues, mixed with a 
 gruff and rather sustained soliloquy in English. The 
 man-of-war's-man had taken in hand the chamber- 
 maid Pheke, who was bent over a washing- tub, in 
 a cloud of soapsuds, most liberally applied by a 
 swab constructed expressly for the occasion. Ben 
 loquitur : " It's of no use your wriggling and 
 twisting. When a gentl'man as is a gentl'man 
 [scrub, scrub] says to me will you hold still ? 
 says to me [scrub, scrub, scrub] Do this here, I doos 
 it. When a says to me ah ! will ye ? blest if I 
 don't smack your says to me, * Ben,' a says, ' I've 
 a dezign,' a says, ' o' poorifying them nasty critturs 
 [scrub, scrub, scrub], especially,' a says, ' them as 
 attends upon huz.' Now you'd better take it easy, 
 you had, for I bean't a going to let none o' that 
 suet stop in your wig ' and, Ben,' a says, ' here's
 
 208 MYSTERIOUS NEIGHBOURS. CHAP. VI. 
 
 summut to buy soap, and I think as you're the man 
 to do it,' a says, ' cos why ? you're abound to keep 
 up discipline,' a says, * in this here crew.' Well, 
 you bean't so bad-looking after a couple o' waters, 
 though you be so yallow ; but if I sees you a rubbing 
 yourself down with that 'ere sheep's tail, blest if I 
 don't get the scraper to you." 
 
 In the course of a few days a pleasing change 
 had taken place in Mrs. Hunt's establishment ; and 
 even the incorrigible Pheke, from the praises be- 
 stowed upon her improved appearance, began to 
 take a pride in saying, when she came up with the 
 hot water, " Eem waashed ! " 
 
 I had not been many days in possession of my 
 room at " The Thatched House " before I became 
 suspicious of having mysterious neighbours in the 
 persons of a widow and her son, lately come out 
 from the mother country, and about to proceed 
 to one of the frontier towns or settlements. The 
 little boy was called Bobby; he slept, no doubt, 
 in a crib by his mother's bedside, but certainly 
 in the same room ; and my attention would proba- 
 bly never have been attracted to the pair had it not 
 been for the singular circumstance of never hearing
 
 CHAP. VI. MYSTERIOUS NEIGHBOURS. 209 
 
 the child's voice. In Algoa Bay wood is a scarce 
 commodity, bricks still more so, the quarrying of 
 stone expensive ; consequently, the party-walls are 
 slight, and there are few secrets in houses of public 
 entertainment. 
 
 I am no listener, but one cannot help hearing 
 what is going on next door in a house built most 
 likely of whalebones and lath and plaster. At night 
 it generally was, " Bobby, are you in bed ? " No 
 answer. " Well, then, go to sleep, that's a dear." 
 Sometimes it was, " Bobby, before you get into bed, 
 just tuck up my feet ; pull out the blanket, Bobby, 
 and turn it well under, my love." Or, " Bobby, I 
 think I should like a drop of mulled wine ; just step 
 down, my precious, and bring it up, quite hot." 
 " Mind how you go down the stairs, dear ; and be 
 sure don't spill it coming up. Ah ! that will do 
 me good I'm sure : I wanted something. Take a 
 drop, Robert. Mrs. Hunt give it you ? She ain't 
 gone to bed, then ? " 
 
 At other times there was a shade of crossness, 
 arising, it would seem, from some slight bodily ail- 
 ment. " I've got my pain coming on again, drat it ! 
 Very odd that you can't do no good to that, ain't it ?
 
 210 MYSTERIOUS NEIGHBOURS. CHAP. VI. 
 
 You rub it, and rub it, and rub it, and all of ho 
 uae._ Rub it a bit to-night, Robert, beforejou turn 
 in." Then comes a weary interval, during which 
 this exemplary little boy may be imagined labo 
 ing at the impracticable malady, till dismissed with q 
 a " Go to bed now, Bobby ; put out the candle safe, 
 my sweet." And then one nose would audibly pro- 
 claim that its owner at least was partaking fully of 
 the " essence of repose." 
 
 Now this was certainly, to say the least, a very 
 extraordinary child. He neither hollooed nor 
 whooped, nor snored, nor spoke, nor (as far as I 
 could hear) even breathed. To think of a boy who 
 makes no noise at all I who diverts himself with 
 neither top nor trumpet, beats no drum, blows no 
 whistle, trolls neither hoop nor ball along the pas- 
 sage ; and though probably physically incapable of 
 howling and yelling like those of his order gene- 
 rally, yet does not even squeeze the faintest possible 
 squeak out of a bow-wow or a baa-lamb. What a 
 real comfort to his mother he must be ! The poor 
 little thing is probably dumb, though certainly not 
 deaf, and makes his little wants and wishes known 
 through some pretty telegraph of his own invention.
 
 CHAP. VI. MYSTERIOUS NEIGHBOURS. 211 
 
 I must certainly, I thought, get acquainted with 
 this intelligent infant, and see what I can make of a 
 conversation carried on with our hands and elbows. 
 Generally I avoid the dumb, from a dread of some 
 yell, or other painful effort of imperfect articula- 
 tion, which usually comes neck and heels into your 
 finger-talk, acting unpleasantly on the nervous sys- 
 tem and sadly deranging one's P's and Q's. This 
 poor little creature has certainly not yet broken out 
 in this objectionable way ; but better perhaps to 
 wait a little, it may be only a cold subduing him 
 for a time, and I may unconsciously run up an 
 intimacy with an obstreperous young monster, who 
 when he recovers may be breaking in upon me 
 with his catcalls and sticky fingers till the ship 
 sails. 
 
 " Bobby, are you getting up ? Better make 
 haste, and look after the coffee. I think I should 
 like a little toast this morning. I know they are 
 up, for I've heard the Hottentots an hour ago." 
 
 Another day it was, " Bobby, is the brig in? 
 She's sure to be in to-day. You can step up the 
 hill, my heart, and see if you can see anything of 
 her. Not now, my love : here, just fasten this ; be
 
 212 THE SHAVING CHERUB. CHAP. VI. 
 
 sure you begin with the top eye. I was all of a 
 twist yesterday." 
 
 My curiosity became more and more excited 
 about this precocious and most useful dumb child. 
 I was lying in bed broad awake. Bobby had 
 fetched the coffee, and the toast, and a bit of beef, 
 and a couple of eggs. The brig was in, and some- 
 body was come from Cape Town, and would land 
 at ten o'clock. " You must wash yourself very 
 nice, Bobby, and put on a clean shirt. Kiss me, my 
 cherub ! Why, you have not shaved yourself! " 
 
 Had I felt the touch of a rattlesnake, or other 
 equally objectionable bedfellow, I could not have 
 started more unfeignedly. Evidently of a tender 
 age, from occupying the same apartment as his 
 mother, he yet seemed to do all the work of the 
 family. He fetched the coffee and, for all I knew, 
 made it also tucked up his mamma, had parti- 
 cular charge of her mysterious aches and pains, and 
 rubbed her down by the hour together, assisted at 
 her toilet, brought her all the news of the house 
 without speaking a word, asked for things and got 
 them without a tongue in his head, went up the 
 hill side to look out for vessels in the offing, and
 
 CHAP. VI. THE SHAVING CHERUB. 213 
 
 was finally addressed as a little cherub who had 
 neglected to shave himself ! 
 
 If there is anything upon which I do pride 
 myself, it is upon knowing nothing of my neigh- 
 bours' business whether Mrs. Brown, next door, 
 has only a little dab of a girl, or a tall footman, 
 with the largest calves in London. If Mrs. Smith, 
 on the other side, washed at home, I should pro- 
 bably become acquainted with that fact, whether I 
 liked it or no; but as to speculating upon, or 
 raising any question respecting, the colour of her 
 linen, or whether the display in the back premises 
 was achieved by the regular domestics or assisted 
 by a charwoman, would assuredly never occur to 
 me. But when one comes to live within an inch or 
 so of a noiseless, indispensable shaving cherub, who 
 lives with its mammy, and does everything, the 
 case is different ; and I felt myself goaded into a 
 full inquiry into the conditions of such a peculiar 
 infant. 
 
 Getting as rapidly as possible through the irk- 
 some operation which appeared to have been omitted 
 by the little innocent next door, I hastened to our 
 voluble landlady, and found her talking to a great
 
 214 EMIGRANTS. CHAP. VI. 
 
 white-faced hulking fellow of twenty. Knowing 
 how difficult it would be to slip a question into 
 any momentary flaw in her discourse, I waited pa- 
 tiently till she had done with the young man, when 
 a stout full-blown woman entered the room, and, 
 taking the young man's arm, said in (to me) a well- 
 known voice, " Come along, Bobby !" 
 
 " Yes, Ma !'' said the yOung man, in so faint a 
 wheeze that it would have been impossible to hear 
 it across the room, let alone the lath and plaster. 
 
 And so was cleared up the mystery of the shav- 
 ing cherub. 
 
 It was pitiable to see the helpless condition of 
 many who had come out to this country as emi- 
 grants, and were hovering about the Bay, uncertain 
 what to do or where to go. Depressed by the 
 accounts of those who had returned unsuccessfully 
 from the promised land no doubt exaggerating 
 the difficulties as an excuse for their own failure. 
 they had yet sufficient foundation to make the 
 poor people pause before they took the expensive 
 and final step of moving northwards, at the cost of 
 perhaps all their remaining money ; and the light, 
 sandy, stony soil of the neighbourhood gave but
 
 CHAP. VI. GAME. 215 
 
 faint promise of a better state of things beyond. 
 And the encumbrance of the furniture they 
 brought out ! Bedsteads, enormous old oak-chests, 
 eight-day clocks, and warming-pans ! Knowing no 
 more of the situation of the country they were in 
 than of the geography of the moon, and expecting 
 that the ship would' land them at their final destina- 
 tion, instead of their- having the only difficult part 
 of the journey to come, and some hundred miles to 
 traverse with their ponderous goods and chattels. 
 
 During the fortnight we were detained on shore, 
 not an evening passed without the continuous flash- 
 ing of sheet lightning in the northern sky, unaccom- 
 panied by thunder : thermometer from 70 to 75, 
 and no rain. 
 
 I saw but little game, except deer and wild fowty, 
 in the neighbourhood. At some distance inland 
 the green plover were in vast flocks, and tolerably 
 accesible. Land-tortoises abounded. The white 
 ants, having no trees to build in, erected conical 
 habitations of solid earth, five or six feet high, 
 looking like huge nine-pins set up on the plain. 
 
 The authority of Government at Port Elizabeth 
 is vested in a commandant an old officer sup-
 
 216 PREPARING FOR DEPARTURE. CHAP. VI. 
 
 ported by a subaltern's detachment of some twenty 
 men, occupying a fort at the top of the hill behind 
 the village ; the head-quarters of the regiment 
 being at Cape Town, nearly five hundred miles 
 distant 
 
 At length the south-easter, which had detained 
 us for more than a week beyond our time, from the 
 impossibility of getting out to the vessel through 
 the surf, moderated, and we prepared to bid adieu 
 to the miscellaneous society of Algoa Bay. Our 
 stay had been, however, long enough to prove the 
 great advantage to be derived from even the tempo- 
 rary establishment of baths and washhouses. Pheke, 
 and her fellow-sufferers, had discovered the benefit 
 of self-ablution in preference to the strenuous, 
 though doubtless more effectual, practice of our 
 friend Ben, though I felt a sad misgiving that they 
 would on our departure fall back upon the national 
 cosmetics, sheep's fat and suet, and that Pheke" s 
 morning salutation " Eem waashed," had but a 
 slender chance of permanence. 
 
 One of our passengers was moved to speculate 
 in ostriches, and purchased four of Mr. Hunt's 
 birds for sale at Cape Town, and these we walked
 
 CHAP. VI. A DELAGOA SKIPPER. 217 
 
 down to the beach and embarked with us. It 
 was curious to see the complete subjection in 
 which these birds, scarcely more than half-grown, 
 kept the whole pack of savage dogs who loitered 
 unowned about the village, kicking out at them 
 like a horse, and knocking them over and over on 
 any disputed point of bones or offal. They ate 
 everything, and, when other food failed, they walked 
 up and looked curiously in your face, as if inclined 
 to try an eye by way of change. 
 
 With us there sailed a schooner, commanded by 
 a man who had kept the village in a roar for a 
 week, and whose hearty and peculiar laugh was on 
 one occasion the means of saving his life. He was 
 in shape something like a vegetable-marrow, with a 
 small potato on the top by way of head. He was called 
 ^"Trowsers" (sometimes Flap), from the great 
 share which that garment had in his equipment, 
 little else being apparent, except a broad-brimmed 
 hat and a shirt-collar. They came up to his arm- 
 pits, and even higher behind, and were suspended 
 by a few inches of braces over the shoulders. 
 Jacket or waistcoat he had none ; and his second 
 name was derived from the great garment being 
 
 L
 
 218 A MUTINY. CHAP. VI. 
 
 constructed on the embrasure principle, and the 
 flap occupying the whole front. 
 
 He abounded in facetious anecdote, much en- 
 forced by his peculiar appearance ; and he laughed 
 loud and long at his own jokes, and those of other 
 people. His laugh was "so infectious, that, be where 
 you may, you could not help joining him. It began 
 with a scuffle in the stomach ; then the tumultuous 
 galloping of horse-laughs in his throat, elbowing 
 and struggling which should get out first ; and 
 finally subsided into a fat and husky utterance of 
 " Keck, keck, keck," prolonged and renewed inde- 
 finitely. 
 
 Coming down the Mozambique channel from the 
 Portuguese settlement, with a crew principally of 
 that nation, a mutiny took place, and it was pro- 
 posed to take possession of the ship after knocking 
 the captain on the head, and run her into Mada- 
 gascar. Everything was ripe for this project, when 
 our facetious friend, seeing something wrong 
 aloft, sent up one of the crew to put it to rights. 
 The clumsiness of the man moved him to laughter 
 at the moment when the chief conspirator had 
 moved behind him with a handspike to knock him
 
 CHAP. VI. MOSSEL BAY. 219 
 
 down. The man waited a moment till he had done, 
 but the unctuous Keck, keck, overcame his resolu- 
 tion, and he threw down the weapon, saying he 
 would have no hand in killing a man laughing. 
 
 Appearances of a .nor'-wester coming on when off 
 Mossel Bay, it was decided to run the brig into 
 that port, and the rather as a market was expected 
 there for some of our cargo. It is a rather dreary 
 spot, and exhibited only two houses, the store just 
 above the beach, and the resident's, a more sub- 
 stantial mansion, a little farther inland. In its 
 heathy hills it resembled Algoa Bay. 
 
 The resident, a Dutchman, speaking but little 
 English, told us of abundance of deer, and, taking 
 us to a thick cover of heath just behind the house, 
 soon proved the truth of the assertion, griesboks 
 and other large antelopes dashing through the 
 heath in all directions. Borrowing a gun from his 
 Excellency, the Dutch passenger agreed to accom- 
 pany me, at the earliest dawn, in what, from all 
 appearances, must be a most killing chasse. 
 
 Did any man, being in a grouse country, ever 
 sleep on the llth of August, or, having partridge in 
 view, close his eyes on the 31st ? How little then 
 
 L'2
 
 
 220 THE DUTCH PASSENGER. CHAP. VI. 
 
 was it that any sleep should visit us who had seen 
 springboks bounding, and dakers and griesboks 
 rushing about, and only waiting the dawn to fall 
 before our guns. 
 
 My friend was in a terrific state of excitement : 
 he loaded his new gun over-night, and, long before 
 daylight, was pacing the deck, rendered almost 
 frantic by the snorting of the seals who occupied a 
 small rocky island higher up the bay. When at 
 last in the boat, he gave vent to his vivacious feel- 
 ings by bringing his gun smartly up to cover the 
 eyes and nose of the stroke oar, as if, when he had 
 arrived at the right pitch, to take a snap shot at 
 those features. The old seaman bore it pretty well 
 for some time, but at length laid in his oar, and 
 expressed his decided conviction that, if such pranks 
 were not discontinued, both he and Jemmy had a 
 fair chance of being made cold meat of. 
 
 Arriving at the beach, his behaviour was still more 
 mad. After bounding for some minutes like a 
 kangaroo, he settled into singing a high Dutch song, 
 relating, as far as I could make it out, to the 
 adventures of three tailors on the Rhine, arid every 
 verse concluding with a chorus never to be forgotten
 
 CHAP. VI. A DAY WITH THE DEER. 221 
 
 by me, of " Schnappouffen convieder schnappouf 
 schnappouf, Schnappouffen convieder schnappouf!" 
 
 Now the absurdity of going out to shoot the 
 larger antelope with a man who persisted in singing 
 comic songs in High Dutch, and executing gym- 
 nastic feats upon the heather, was but too hopelessly 
 apparent. How fervently I cursed that Dutchman ! 
 and not the less so that, in spite of my rage, I could 
 not refrain from laughing perhaps the most pro- 
 voking of all conditions in which any one can be 
 placed. 
 
 The deer were abundant ; bounding through the 
 breast-high heath, and some springing bodily out 
 of the cover to clear some obstacle in the path. I 
 had shaken off my companion to some distance, but 
 his perpetual firing had fairly alarmed the country, 
 and every now and then there came upon the wind 
 the accursed " Schnappouffen convieder, "&c., which 
 showed he was still as much at his tricks as ever. 
 By ten in the morning we had exhausted all the 
 best ground without killing a single head no great 
 wonder in my case, who had not attained the art 
 of killing by long snap shots with a heavy rifle and 
 single ball, but unpardonable in my friend, with
 
 222 A BOER. CHAP. VI. 
 
 a comparatively handy gun loaded with buck- 
 shot. 
 
 Somewhat crestfallen at our bad success, and 
 little spared by me, the Dutchman was preparing 
 to take his way back to the ship, when a horseman 
 rode after us, and grasped our hands most cordially 
 in his shoulder- of-mutton fist. He was a huge, 
 heavy fellow, and carried resting on his thigh a long 
 heavy large-bored gun, with a very cumbrous old- 
 fashioned lock. The singularity of two people going 
 out to shoot on foot seemed to move his wonder, and 
 even compassion, for a Dutch boer never walks a 
 yard if he can ride it. . 
 
 It was in vain to make inquiries as to the game 
 till our gigantic companion had gratified his curiosity 
 with the usual questions such as our names, re- 
 sidences, occupation, age, and conditions as to the 
 married or single state ; what we were doing in 
 that particular part whether going soon, and 
 where next. My history seemed to interest him 
 much, and not a little puzzle him. I was going 
 home from the Mauritius, but why come to Africa 
 when I could have gone in a ship direct ? He took 
 also much interest in ray relations when I had
 
 CHAP. VI. A BOER. 223 
 
 heard from them, their respective ages and call- 
 ings ; and finally propounded a question then com- 
 mon enough in a particular grade of society, but 
 rather startling when abruptly put on an African 
 heath " Does your mother know you are out ? " 
 Satisfying his curiosity with the information that 
 death had unhappily deprived me of my maternal 
 parent, he became interested to know the com- 
 plaint of which she died, with other statistics of the 
 family too numerous to mention. 
 
 As the Dutch farmer had nearly run himself out 
 of questions, something caught his eye to the left 
 of the path. He pulled up his horse, looked atten- 
 tively for a few moments, and then, slowly bringing 
 up his heavy gun, fired. A slight movement of 
 the heath occurred without any object appearing, 
 the Dutchman quietly saying, "Ee'sdod," and pro- 
 ceeded deliberately to reload. On going to the 
 spot, we found, quite dead, the body of a griesbok, 
 as large as one of our fallow deer, but not quite so 
 high on the legs. On measuring the ground it was 
 110 good paces. The ball had entered close be- 
 hind the ear. 
 
 This event considerably raised the spirits of the
 
 224 TWO FEMALE BOERS. CHAP. VI. 
 
 party, and we proceeded in some triumph to the 
 Bay with the buck slung across the farmer's horse. 
 Before arriving there we were overtaken by two 
 buxom Dutch girls, who came cantering after us. 
 They were plump, rosy -cheeked young ladies, 
 daughters of a farmer some twelve miles off. They 
 wore high-crowned hats, a sort of polka-jacket of 
 dark cloth with many buttons, and very full bunchy 
 red petticoats. They sat astride and managed their 
 active little horses with some grace and dexterity. 
 
 Our party being so agreeably reinforced, it was 
 proposed by my much-abused companion, as an 
 amende for his atrocious conduct in the morning, 
 to give a venison dinner at the store, to send for the 
 captain, the ship's cook, who was also a fiddler, a 
 case of claret, fruit, and materials for a bowl of 
 punch in a word, to make an evening of it. 
 
 Parties got up in a hurry are usually the most 
 successful. The venison was exquisite done to a 
 turn, and eaten with a sauce of claret and mango- 
 jelly. Our facetious passenger was decidedly more 
 at home than he had been at the deer-stalking ; and 
 the farmer, who was the real founder of the feast, 
 sat imbibing punch with a heavy ecstacy, not un-
 
 CHAP. VI. AN EVENING PARTY. 225 
 
 moved by the jokes of his mercurial countryman, 
 though generally laughing long after all remem- 
 brance of the good thing had passed from the 
 recollection of the rest of the party. 
 
 But the crowning part of the evening was when 
 the cook, with powerful elbow, struck up a merry 
 dance. A demure-looking Dutchwoman, discovered 
 somewhere in the store, was then brought almost 
 forcibly in and placed opposite the skipper, who, 
 being a man thoroughly earnest in what he under 
 took, kept a stern eye upon her, as if prepared to 
 let her know what o'clock it was if she attempted 
 to abscond. The farmer declined dancing, having 
 as yet through life abstained from that amusement , 
 and even the proposition so tickled him that he 
 burst into a hoarse guffaw about half an hour after. 
 
 The fashionable dance at Mossel Bay had much 
 simplicity of figure. It. began with a general setting 
 of all to all, followed by a maze of right and left ; 
 and finally, as each one caught his partner (who, by 
 the way, was not changed through the evening), 
 finished in a whirl of poussette, continued as long ns 
 exhausted nature could conveniently bear it : then 
 a little rest, refreshment, and at it again. 
 
 L-3
 
 226 THE BALL. CHAP VI. 
 
 The skipper's partner required great care, and 
 was the cause of much anxiety to that earnest prac- 
 tical man. In the intervals of dancing he placed 
 her in a corner, sitting in front, so as to make hope- 
 less any attempt at a bolt. He then fed her with 
 punch and biscuit, looking sternly at her the while, 
 and repressing any errant disposition on her part 
 by frequently repeating, " Not if I know it, my 
 lady I " 
 
 But to think of how the young ladies in the 
 short red serge bounded with the agility of spring- 
 boks, though in the figure of griesboks how, in the 
 whirl of the poussette, their red drapery spread after 
 them, like the tail of a comet and how, notwith- 
 standing the difficulties of language, we all arrived 
 at the clearest understanding is, even at this dis- 
 tance of time, scarcely to be thought of without 
 emotion. 
 
 It was while the fun was at the fastest, the 
 dancing the most furious when the speeches were 
 at the tenderest, and broken Dutch and murdered 
 English contended in expressive suavity when the 
 fiddler had put most power to his elbow, and the 
 comets were whisking in their swiftest perihelion
 
 CHAP. VI. AN INTRUDER. 227 
 
 when the skipper, in perspiring earnestness, had 
 taken off his coat when poussettes were at the 
 huggingest, and the farmer was almost hurried into 
 the present tense that the door suddenly opened, 
 and thereat appeared the ill-omened visage of Ball- 
 owax, the mate. 
 
 " I was thinking, Sir, that, as the wind '& coming 
 out from the east, and the sea 's gone down, you'd 
 like to heave short, and go to sea at the first of the 
 ebb?" 
 
 Plumbeus auster I If the simoom had risen upon 
 us, we could have been no more withered. The 
 Dutch passenger, being a man of impulse, was the 
 first to recover : he thrust out Ballowax, cursed 
 him energetically in three languages at once but 
 all in vain : the wet blanket had fallen ; the skipper 
 slowly put on his coat ; his partner, in the confusion, 
 had escaped. We were at the mercy of the relent- 
 less Ballowax, who kept a log of his own, in which 
 would appear a fair wind, and no excuse for 
 delay. Alas ! The comets were wholly collapsed, 
 and about to wander back into darkness. 
 
 " And you must go?" 
 
 " Ja ! helaes ! ach, och I too true !"
 
 228 MY FIRST OFFER. CHAK VI. 
 
 " Why not go by land, or stay with us ? Vader 
 an moeder so glad to see you at Duivels-hoek. 
 Plenty paarden, plenty bokken, plenty volks, 
 plenty Hottentot. Leeuwen ! Jan smelt him as he 
 went to the kraal, and a sheep was gone. Any 
 one could be happy at Duivels-hoek ! Why go at 
 all ?" 
 
 And here Suusje Vanderbommen cast down her 
 eyes, as if she had said too much. 
 
 It is a curious sensation that of having an offer 
 made one calculated much to dumbfounder and 
 strike ".all of a heap." Females are used to it, 
 and it becomes in time indispensable, but sadly 
 perplexing to the male. " Why go at all," indeed ! 
 What could a man wish for more ? Plenty of horses 
 plenty of deer plenty of Hottentots an affec- 
 tionate vader, who, having once acquired a know- 
 ledge of the age, habits, and state of health, when 
 last seen, of all my kith and kin, would probably there- 
 after have " been silent for evermore," a moeder of 
 most motherly dimensions a co-heiress of Devil's- 
 hook, and the smell of a lion ! Here was a tide in 
 my affairs to be taken at the flood I Upon a calm 
 review of all that has passed, I am convinced that
 
 CHAP. VI. DEPARTURE. 229 
 
 the ill-omened Ballowax had in him something 
 prophetic ; and that the " first of the ebb," which he 
 consigned us to, was the beginning of that falling 
 tide that has borne me downwards ever since. 
 
 It was in the very crisis of taking leave, when 
 cheeks had been offered but lips accorded, while no 
 one liked to be the first to say that most affecting 
 of all words in all languages, that the worthy farmer 
 burst into a roar of laughter, occasioned, it was 
 supposed from his abstracted air, by some racy pas- 
 sage in the last poussette. 
 
 Let not the gentle reader imagine that I slept 
 that night without dreaming of Suusje Vander- 
 bommen.
 
 230 TABLE BAY. CHAP. VII. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Arrival in Table Bay The Mountains Mrs. Strummbumm 
 Morrison's Boarding-house Ascent of Table Mountain 
 Baboons Buggins Sahib and his Mahomedans Odd Names 
 Tom Holder History of his Cocked Hats American 
 Wit Visit to Constantia The Clock The Wines 
 " Posterial Luxuriance" Wild Animals The Aard 
 Vark Anecdotes of the Lion The Cape Horse Mode 
 of hunting Deer The British Soldier. 
 
 THE Cape of Storms had no terrors for us : with 
 a fair wind, just ruffling the surface of the ocean, we 
 passed close under the land, in weather without a 
 cloud. Hundreds of large sea-birdspelicans or 
 gannets were fishing in all directions, darting into 
 the water as if hurled by some force beyond their 
 own ; but their sport seemed but little productive. 
 
 Exchanging certain signals with the people on 
 the Lion's Head, we passed along the side of that 
 noble animal, and, rounding his hinder parts, 
 dropped anchor in the midst of Table Bay. If this 
 Lion Mountain had fallen into the hands of that 
 ancient projector who suggested the carving of
 
 CHAP. VII. THE MOUNTAINS. 231 
 
 Mount Athos into a sitting figure with a city in his 
 hand, what a thing he would have made of it ! 
 With a judicious chiselling of the face, a careful 
 arrangement of the rocky mane, a little hollowing 
 under the sides, and the addition of a tail grace- 
 fully bending round the upper part of the town, he 
 might, at a trifling cost, have produced a wonder of 
 the world. In colour it is perfect, the short dried 
 grass being precisely the tawny hue of the king 
 of beasts. 
 
 On the flank of Table Mountain stands " the 
 Devil's Head," a dark-complexioned, hard-featured 
 mountain, as the name would imply : 
 
 " His front 
 
 Deep scars of thunder had iutrench'd, and care 
 Sat on his faded brow." 
 
 Table Mountain and this are of about equal height, 
 some 1100 feet higher than Snowdon, rising almost 
 diix-ctly from the sea level, and seen in every inch 
 of their height. The white houses of Cape Town 
 are pleasantly interspersed with trees ; and there is 
 a bright green bank of heath and geraniums inter- 
 posed between them and the dark threatening clitfk 
 beyond.
 
 '232 MRS. STRUMMBUMM. CHAP. VII. 
 
 Ever since the adventure of Mossel Bay a sort of 
 confidence had sprung up between the Dutch pas- 
 senger and myself, and he had kindly interested 
 himself in the matter of my lodging at Cape Town, 
 recommending me strongly to a friend of his, Mrs. 
 Strummbumm, a person possessing many virtues, 
 and whom he recommended as the " cleanest lady 
 at the Cape." If there is anything which I had 
 rather not surrender, it is my perfect freedom of 
 choice in lodgings ; but my friend overcame all 
 scruples, in such favourable colours did he paint 
 Mrs. Strummbumm generally ; concluding his 
 eulogium by the somewhat unnecessary advantage 
 of being able to eat off the floors. 
 
 In addition to the Dutchman's arguments I was 
 rather influenced by the euphonious name of my 
 future landlady, so surrendered myself wholly to his 
 guidance ; and the anchor was scarcely down before 
 we were making our way towards the cleanest lady 
 at the Cape. 
 
 Passing along the banks of the great canal, we 
 turned into a spacious and very quiet street, and 
 my friend halted at the door of a large lonely house 
 that had much the air of being shut up and unin-
 
 CHAP. VII. MRS. STRUMMBUMM. 233 
 
 habited. To our sonorous summons a Hottentot 
 girt responded, and heard her mistress inquired for 
 with sharp suspicious looks. Having received the 
 message, she shut the door in our faces and ran to 
 report us. 
 
 In people, as well as places, the reality is in 
 general very different from the idea we have pre- 
 viously formed. I had let loose my fancy upon 
 Mrs. Strummbumm, and conjured up something 
 vast abounding in petticoats eminently Dutch- 
 built an ample and complete landlady dressed, 
 probably, somewhat in the antique style of Rubens' 
 burgomasters' wives, with a quaint head-dress, infi- 
 nite buttons, bunchy skirts, and, not improbably, 
 red stockings. My disappointment was therefore 
 extreme at being introduced to a little, wiry, 
 anxious, hatchet-faced woman, with a brickdust 
 complexion and a cold gray eye, whose eternally 
 searching glance seemed as if engaged in a per- 
 petual hunt for the main chance, and whose nose 
 seemed worn to a sharp point by being constantly 
 poked into holes and corners. 
 
 My friend had very properly schooled me before 
 we entered. " Kick the dust off your feet," said
 
 234 MRS. STRUMMBUMM. CHAP. VII. 
 
 he when we got within sight of the door ; " she 
 does not like dust. It is such a beautiful house ! 
 You may really eat off the floors I " 
 
 Mrs. Strummbumm received us with brief civi- 
 lity not much taken with me, I suspected. She 
 had the air of thinking of something else; and 
 while my friend was, no doubt, indulging in some 
 appropriate eulogium of my habits and modes of 
 life, I saw that her glance was directed at our 
 boots, and while he was yet speaking she gave a 
 sharp cry towards the back door, which was imme- 
 diately responded to by a couple of lithe Hottentot 
 girls, each provided with a duster. 
 
 Motioning us to follow, Mrs. Strummbumm led 
 the way up the polished staircase, so slippery as to 
 render the ascent a service of danger, and so per- 
 fectly reflecting the inverted figure of our landlady 
 that it seemed rather an impropriety to look down. 
 Arrived at the landing, she cast a severe glance at 
 the two attendants, which seemed to say " Strumm- 
 bumm expects every maid to do her duty ;" and it 
 was then only I became aware that we were each 
 followed by one of the girls, who dexterously pounced 
 upon our footsteps, and fairly wiped us up, step by 
 step, as we ascended.
 
 CHAP. VII. MRS. STRUMMBUMM. 235 
 
 There was no objecting to Mrs. Strummbumm's 
 apartments they were even painfully clean, and 
 the charges reasonable. Neither was it possible to 
 find fault with the quantity or the arrangement of 
 her furniture, the items of which she enumerated 
 with justifiable pride. In particular, she was proud 
 of her bed and its appointments, especially the 
 slaaplakens and oorkussens (expressive names 
 sleeping-cloths and ear-cushions), which were white 
 as driven snow ; and ran over every convenience of 
 the apartments, from wardrobes and table c to the 
 armstoel and tie foitoto. *?* **&& 
 
 But, perfect d? ail these things Vere in their 
 cleanliness, there was one thing in Mrs. Strumm- 
 bumm's house which was certainly not clean the 
 air. It was clear, from the sickly frowsiness of her 
 house, that the windows were never opened ; and this 
 was the rock upon which we split. I took possession, 
 nevertheless, of her apartments, with a secret deter- 
 mination of setting at least my own room to rights 
 in that particular. Alas ! for poor human reso- 
 lution. I ought to have known that to reckon with- 
 out your hostess is impossible. 
 
 Mrs. Strummbumm had a horror of dust, and the
 
 236 MRS. STRUMMBUMM. CHAP. VII. 
 
 t 
 
 great object of her life was to keep this enemy out 
 
 of her house ; herself and her maids did little else 
 but dust the house and . furniture from morning till 
 night. Mrs. Strummbumm put every piece of fur- 
 niture to the question as she passed it, drawing her 
 finger across it, and lowering her head so as to 
 bring the surface to a convenient angle with the 
 light ; and if the finger-marks were very apparent, 
 she maundered out to the top of the stairs and 
 screamed up the Hottentot girls, who fell upon the 
 furniture as if they were tearing it to pieces. None 
 of the household ever moved without a duster ; you 
 could not touch a post or a bannister without 
 attracting the flappers to it, and were hardly risen 
 from a chair but somebody wiped it up. 
 
 It was most unlucky that this lady settled at the 
 Cape, where the fine sand pervades everything. It 
 gets between your sheets and into your close- 
 locked trunks. The bread you eat and the clothes 
 you wear are all gritty. You feel it between your 
 shirt and your skin, and you eat it in your gravies 
 and your puddings. Nothing seems free from it 
 but fruit. 
 
 Mr. Strummbutnm, the husband, never appeared
 
 CHAP. VII. MRS. STRUMMBUMM. 237 
 
 to lodgers' eyes. He was understood to pass his 
 time in a summer-house in the garden, perpetually 
 smoking long clay pipes. His life was a passage 
 from ashes to ashes, as that of his wife was from 
 dust to dust ; and if invaded in bis retreat, he blew 
 such a cloud as to render himself invisible, as the 
 ancient deities wrapped themselves in a mist when 
 they wanted to escape detection. 
 
 As might have been expected, my hostess and I 
 were incompatible ; and when our mutual friend 
 called next day he found that, by happy coinci- 
 dence, we had given each other notice at the same 
 moment. 
 
 " Why, my dear Sir, where can you expect to 
 find apartments like these? So clean a lady! 
 You really might eat off the floors." 
 
 " Well then, my dear friend, to please you I 
 will do so. Pray give my compliments to Mrs. 
 Strummbumm, and I shall be happy to take my 
 dinner off her hall-floor to-day. Anything will do : 
 some water-sootje poured down in one place, and a 
 few filets de sole a la Hottandaise in another, with an 
 Irish stew, if she can make it, in a third ; and here and 
 there a dab of spinach or some potatoes rolled about.
 
 238 MRS. STRUMMBUMM. CHAP. VII. 
 
 Then for breakfast she may toss some cutlets about 
 the stairs, with an omelette aux fines herbes upon the 
 landing, and any curious preserved meats or jams 
 where I can lick them up." 
 
 There was also another observance which, though 
 trifling, was irksome, that of being wiped up step 
 by step as I passed from the front door to my own 
 room : sometimes even they gave me a flap inside 
 my door, which was a clear invasion of the rights of 
 property. 
 
 Never did Mrs. Strummbumm and I look so 
 amicably at each Bother as when we took leave for 
 the last time. She little thought of a work of art 
 I had left in the room above no less than a sketch 
 of herself drawn in the dust of her own table. 
 With the consciousness of this last fling at her, I 
 submitted cheerfully to be wiped up on her thresh- 
 old, and to have the door most cordially slammed 
 behind me. 
 
 I established myself at Morrison's boarding-house 
 on the Heergratz. The charge for a large bed- 
 room and four substantial meals a-day, including 
 Cape wine at discretion, at the easy rate of five rix- 
 dollars, or Is. 6r?., a-day. A liberal system prevails
 
 CHAP. VII. MORRISON'S BOARDING-HOUSE. 239 
 
 at these boarding-houses : for every time that you 
 dine out you are entitled to entertain a friend at 
 dinner free of charge, as far as the regular fare of 
 the table is concerned ; claret and other foreign 
 wines being of course extra. And this liberality 
 meets an ample reward ; for, by encouraging an 
 interchange of hospitality among the members of 
 different boarding-houses, a much greater consump- 
 tion of foreign wines, spirits, &c., is promoted, to 
 the general benefit of the boarding-house keepers. 
 
 I am never quite satisfied in a new place till I 
 have looked down upon it from the highest avail- 
 able point in the neighbourhood ; I therefore, after 
 taking a stroll over the Lion's Rump, and about 
 his ribs, and along his spine, and so up his mane to 
 the Signal Station, prepared for the ascent of the 
 Great Table, under the shadow of whose dark 
 mahogany the little town is so comfortably nestled. 
 Parties are usually made up for this feat, and 
 people with an insane perverseness start at three in 
 the morning. Carefully concealing my intentions, 
 I set out, after a hearty breakfast, at ten, and 
 entirely alone. 
 
 There is no occasion for a guide, for the brook
 
 240 ASCENT OF TABLE MOUNTAIN. CHAP. VII. 
 
 which flows into the town comes direct from the 
 ravine by which only Table Mountain is accessible ; 
 and one who adheres so little to beaten paths as I 
 do was little studious of keeping the common track. 
 You soon shake off the houses and come upon beau- 
 tiful banks covered with flowers. There is a com- 
 plete zone of geraniums, almost unmixed with other 
 plants, and of the common scarlet kind only. It 
 grows in masses, from a few yards up to acres in 
 extent, and to contemplate such masses of bright 
 red is painful to the eye. Tempted by the fra- 
 grance and beauty of these plants, I made myself a 
 bed of geraniums, and lay for an hour overlooking 
 the town and the calm bay unruffled as a mirror. 
 In such spots as these there is always a sad convic- 
 tion that a few years will bring villas and Mount 
 Pleasants, and eventually Prospect Rows, to mar 
 the face of nature and confine the unfortunate 
 public to dusty roads and the view of stone walls. 
 
 The brook below seems the paradise of washer- 
 women, plying their gossiping trade, puzzling the 
 observer as to whether they make the greater clat- 
 ter with their mallets or their tongues. Artists 
 curious in female grouping, or drawing " from the
 
 CHAP. VII. ASCENT OF TABLE MOUNTAIN. 241 
 
 round," might meet with pleasing subjects in this 
 water-course. Having a lively dread of females in 
 the aggregate, I kept at a safe elevation, though 
 strongly urged, in persuasive Low Dutch with a few 
 startling exceptions in English, to come down and 
 join them. There was, however, in the mallets 
 something too suggestive of the kind of treatment I 
 might expect, to say nothing of the unlimited com- 
 mand o fresh .water, so I thought it prudent to 
 decline the invitation. 
 
 Above the geraniums there is a zone of silver- 
 trees, and, above, bare banks of crumbling stone 
 and earth to the bottom of the perpendicular cliffs, 
 which rise like walls, in the face of which is a nar- 
 row chasm, worn by the water, and to all appear- 
 ance as perpendicular as the cliffs themselves. 
 
 While in the wood a slight storm passed across 
 the mountain : it was about the same level as 
 myself, and the lightning appeared on all sides, 
 above and below, but, strange to say, the thunder 
 was by no means loud, neither did I hear any rever- 
 beration from the cliffs above. 
 
 There is something exceedingly grand and awful 
 in that part of the ascent where you enter amongst 
 
 M
 
 242 TABLE MOUNTAIN. CHAP. VII. 
 
 the cliffs, and are nearly enclosed by vast broken 
 walls of rock many hundreds of feet high. With the 
 exception of occasional glimpses of the distant ocean, 
 you are wholly shut in from the world, and in abso- 
 lute silence, perhaps the most impressive condition 
 of such a scene. It was a Dositive relief when a 
 piece of stone trickled down the cliff, though such a 
 tiny noise, making silence audible, caused a start 
 from its unexpectedness. 
 
 And yet I had a suspicion that there were other 
 noises in the place. When I was engaged in any 
 particular scramble, surmounting a rock the size of 
 an ordinary cottage which stopped the way, or en- 
 gaged in the rough shingle between such masses, I 
 was conscious that something was making a noise 
 besides myself; but, stop as suddenly as I would, it 
 ceased as I did, and no living creature was visible 
 on the face of the cliff. I tried the effect of a good 
 holloa, but got such unearthly answers that I was 
 by no means flattered at the repetition of my own 
 voice. I began to think of those 
 
 
 
 " Aery sounds that syllable men's names 
 In sands, and shores, and desert wildernesses," 
 
 when I suddenly perceived on a rock a few yards
 
 CHAP. VII. BABOONS. 243 
 
 above, seated without motion, seven baboons. The 
 mystery was now accounted for. They had re- 
 frained from discovering themselves as long as they 
 were unperceived, but when they caught my eye 
 they uttered some gruff grunts and prepared to 
 move off. 
 
 Nothing so thoroughly convinces a man that he 
 is really in a far-away country as meeting, in his 
 ordinary walks, those animals that he has before 
 seen only through the bars of a menagerie. 
 
 The African baboon is, perhaps, the most hateful 
 of all the hateful tribe of monkeys, and the most 
 formidable after the ourang-outang. They sit 
 about a yard high ; and their ferocious eyes and 
 long wrinkled pig-faces indicate coarse brutality, 
 as well as ferocity and power. They are said, how- 
 ever, to be more mischievous than dangerous, and 
 only attack when wounded. 
 
 In the present case my new acquaintances had 
 evidently no wish to run up an intimacy : uttering 
 uncouth noises they slowly " shogged off," the re- 
 treat being covered by the most formidable indivi- 
 dual of the party, whose savage sternness I could 
 not mollify by the softest speeches, and who even 
 
 M2
 
 244 VIEW FROM THE SUMMIT. CHAP. VII. 
 
 turned a deaf ear to my softest solicitations for a 
 lock of his hair. I hardly know which is the worst, 
 the front or the back view of these creatures the 
 abominable expression of their faces, or the disgust- 
 ing evidence of their sedentary habits. 
 
 With the exception of a small animal . scarcely 
 larger than a rabbit, of a dark-brown colour ap- 
 proaching to black, who looked at me calmly 
 enough from a distance of a few yards, I saw no 
 other living creature amongst the cliffs. 
 
 The top of Table Mountain is by no means flat 
 or regular, neither is there any extensive view in 
 any direction but towards the west over Cape Town' 
 This is very glorious. The ocean stretches away 
 till it blends with the sky. The view to the right 
 includes many miles of comparatively flat ground, 
 but covered with verdure, and bounded by a noble 
 range of mountains. Table Bay, partly sheltered 
 from the west by the penal settlement of Robben 
 Island appropriately called seems almost at your 
 feet. Cape Town looks like a miniature plan of a 
 city, and the fort adjacent is not unlike a huge 
 starfish sprawling on the sand. 
 
 As an occasional cloud passed swiftly over the
 
 CHAP. VII. THE " TABLE-CLOTH." 245 
 
 top of the mountain, just grazing my head as I sat, 
 I did not care to leave to any great distance the 
 friendly shelter of the ravine, and even laid a train 
 for finding it in case I should be suddenly caught 
 under the " table-cloth." This white mist is ex- 
 actly in appearance what its name would imply ; 
 it lies perfectly flat on the top of the mountain, and 
 comes down as perpendicularly as the cliffs them- 
 selves to a certain distance, when it ceases abruptly. 
 
 To attempt the descent enveloped in this mist is 
 a rash undertaking. Shortly before our arrival an 
 officer of engineers lost his life; his companion 
 reached Cape Town in safety, ignorant of the fate 
 of the other. 
 
 In scrambling alone up this ravine still more in 
 descending one cannot help reflecting upon the 
 consequences of a sprained ankle or a fracture of A 
 limb. Parties are not going up every day, and a 
 night on the mountain, with the certainty of wild 
 animals inhabiting the cliffs, would not be pleasant. 
 One would not covet even the society of a laughing- 
 hyaena, as his constitutional merriment would be 
 excited at your own expense. 
 
 The time employed in actually walking up the
 
 246 BUGGINS SAHIB CHAP. VII. 
 
 mountain was two hours ; coming down, an hour 
 and a half. 
 
 A strange mixture of people were assembled at 
 the Cape boarding-houses, eclipsing in variety both 
 of colour and character anything to be found on the 
 Continent of Europe. All quarters of the world are 
 here represented ; amongst them a fair sample of 
 Orientals, both native and British. One, a Bengal 
 civilian on leave of absence for his health, was 
 attended by two superb Mahomedans, dressed in 
 spotless white, with large turbans of the same : they 
 were very dark, with ample black beards sweeping 
 their breasts ; and it would be hard to point out in 
 any country two finer men. Their manners were 
 characterized by grave and dignified politeness ; 
 and they seemed almost by intuition to anticipate 
 the wants of their master. The civilian gave them 
 abundance of occupation : they never seemed to 
 leave him either at home or abroad, and one natu- 
 rally speculated as to how he had ever done without 
 them, or could at any future time dispense with 
 their services. He could not even pick up a pocket- 
 handkerchief, or pass a bottle of wine, without their 
 assistance, still less undergo the arduous labour of
 
 CHAP. VII. AND HIS MAHOMEDANS. 247 
 
 dressing or undressing. At dinner they supplied 
 the civilian with eyes, for he was too entirely help- 
 less to look out for himself, and suggested the dishes 
 which they knew were most to his taste ; in fact, 
 their attention was perfect in all things save one 
 they would have nothing to do with the unclean 
 beast ; their allegiance stopped short of pig-meat 
 in all its varieties. The alacrity with which they 
 brought the veal or the chicken was instructive, but 
 their features changed to iron at any suggestion of 
 the savoury adjunct. In vain did the civilian turn 
 a languid eye upon the Europe ham ; in vain lean 
 back in his chair with an appealing but silent elo- 
 quence. No ! the stone black slaves in the halt-of 
 the enchanted palace were not more motionless 
 than they who waited behind him : their eyes seemed 
 to eat into the plaster of the opposite wall. They 
 said, as plainly as features can speak, " Buggins 
 Sahib, if thou wilt needs damn thyself it shall not 
 be through us. We are not as other Mussulmans : 
 we are high caste ; but in this matter we must 
 either go with the Holy Prophet (may he dwell for 
 ever in bliss !) or Buggins Sahib. The bridge is 
 but too difficult as it is; how then, O Buggins
 
 248 BUGGINS SAHIB CHAP. VII. 
 
 Sahib, should we cross it weighed down by your 
 Europe ham ? ** 
 
 It was really pitiable to see this helpless gentle- 
 man thus run aground in the full tide of his din- 
 ner, his embarrassed features indicating not only 
 thwarted appetite, but some sense of injury. His 
 mild eye, wandering from the pork into abstraction, 
 seemed to say, " Obdurate Mahomedans ! have I 
 not fed and clothed you these many years ? Have 
 you not fed upon what your fancy prompted, and of 
 the best ? Have I interdicted your pestilent kebaubs, 
 or even rallied you on your fat, filthy curries ? 
 Can you stand motionless, and see my favourite 
 food eaten up before my face ? Don't you see that 
 man from the far west shovelling the choicest cuts 
 into his mouth with knife and fork ? Already has 
 he despatched two platefuls, and is now bolting un- 
 chewed pig, that he may yet secure a third." 
 
 Neither could the civilian get any relief from the 
 Hottentots, who had a natural hatred to these men, 
 so different from themselves, and hated in a second 
 degree their master for possessing them. They 
 became doubly assiduous with the other guests, but 
 took no notice whatever of Buggins Sahib, who was
 
 CHAP. VII. AND HIS MAHOMEDANS. 249 
 
 usually forced to pass his plate along the table 
 from hand to hand. 
 
 The Mussulmans, although they had managed to 
 pick up the bare names of the dishes, yet were far 
 too polite and dignified to request a helping by 
 simply mentioning the bald name of what they 
 wanted ; they therefore usually prefaced the re- 
 quest with some short exordium in their own lan- 
 guage, bringing out the one or two words of 
 English at the end of the sentence, possibly some- 
 thing to this effect. " O Bahadur ! may you live 
 a thousand years. My master sends his best wishes 
 for your health and happiness, requesting a beetobeef 
 ondaredon ;" or, " Buggins Sahib commands me 
 to ask for some duckanpeece ,-" or, "May your 
 shadow never be less; but you forgot sum stoofin:" 
 or, " Buggins Sahib is grateful to my Lord for 
 the veal, but desires me to ask for plenty kee- 
 deenee" 
 
 Our curt, and to them irreverent language, must 
 appear very strange to Orientals. How ignoble 
 not to say vulgar is our " Oh la !" or " Oh 
 my !" to their " Mashallah !" God is great ; our 
 simple expression of an intention to do a thing, ac-
 
 250 BATHING. CHAP. VII. 
 
 companied by " Inshallah !" in the name of God ; 
 and our " Pretty well, I thank you !" in answer to 
 a " How d'ye do ?" instead of ." Humdalillah !" 
 Praised be God ! 
 
 There were no bathing-machines at Cape Town ; 
 and when Buggins Sahib went forth at early dawn 
 to take a dip, his attendants placed two chairs on 
 the beach, in one of which the civilian being seated 
 was undressed, and his clothes laid carefully on the 
 other. When about to return from the water, the 
 Indians took each a sheet, and, holding it up by the 
 upper corners, bore grandly down upon him as he 
 came out, looking, from a distance, as if they were 
 easily sailing before the wind under large lug-sails. 
 By the first that encountered him he was completely 
 enveloped in the sheet, and gently patted all over, 
 a repetition of which was gone through by the 
 bearer of the other lug, and, while seated in the 
 latter envelope, his head was taken charge of by 
 one, and his feet by the other. 
 
 There was an Indian of large property, as report 
 said, of the name of Ram Jheem Oom, whether 
 Mahomedan or Hindoo I never exactly made out 
 a smiling, jovial little man, and convivial, consider-
 
 CHAP. VII. ODD NAMES. 251 
 
 ing he drank no wine. The Babel of languages, 
 and the uncouth names, rendered more so by their 
 English pronunciation, made a curious olio of 
 sounds. 
 
 " Strummbumm, a glass of wine ?" " Mosch 
 delight." 
 
 " Poekhaars, join us ? I should ask Goatiwinckel 
 and Faarteesy, but we can't make a bridge of the 
 Ram. Ram! one glass of Madeira? real East 
 India particular ?" 
 
 But the Ram shakes his head with a bland smile, 
 casting a moist eye upwards, as much as to say, " I 
 should only be too happy ; but I have a prophet, or 
 a caste, or something or other which prevents my 
 having that great pleasure." Subsequently he com- 
 pounds for a glass of sherbet, looking of such a 
 clear amber colour, that in any other hands it 
 might be mistaken for brandy and water. 
 
 But the most singular character which Cape 
 Town presented was a Major Holder, of the Bom- 
 bay army. In dress he was entirely unique. He 
 wore invariably a short red shell-jacket thrown 
 open, with a white waistcoat, and short but large 
 white trowsers, cotton stockings, and shoes : on his
 
 252 THE MAJOR CHAP. VII. 
 
 head a cocked-hat, with an upright red and white 
 feather, the whole surmounted by a green silk um- 
 brella, held painfully aloft to clear the feather. To 
 this may be added a shirt- collar, which acted almost 
 as a pair of blinkers on either side. In person he 
 was ample, but somewhat shapeless, and he had a 
 vast oblong face, which neither laughed nor showed 
 any sign of animation whatever. 
 
 The history of the Major's cocked-hat was as 
 follows : Strolling into an auction at Bombay, he 
 was rather taken with the reasonable price of a 
 cocked-hat, which the flippant auctioneer was re- 
 commending with all his ingenuity. " Going for 
 six rupees must be sold to pay the creditors. No 
 advance upon six ? Shall we say siccas ?" In an 
 evil hour the Major bid for the hat, left his address, 
 and returned to his quarters, the happy possessor of 
 a " bargain." 
 
 Seated at breakfast the next morning, a proces- 
 sion is observed approaching the house four men 
 carrying a large packing-case slung to a pole, and 
 headed by a half-caste with a small paper in his 
 hand. 
 
 " Major Holder, Sar, brought you the cocked-
 
 CHAP. VII. AND HIS HATS. 253 
 
 hats, Sar ; all sound and good, Sar ; wish live long 
 to wear out, Sar ; here leel' bill, which feel obleege 
 you pay, Sar." Whereupon he puts into the hands 
 of the astounded commander a document, headed 
 
 " Major Thomas Holder, of H.E.I.C.'s Regt., 
 
 Dr. to estate of and Co., bankrupts ; for 72 
 
 cocked-hats, purchased at auction," &c. &c. &c. 
 
 It was in vain that the major remonstrated after 
 he understood the predicament in which he was 
 placed; in vain he appealed to the auctioneer to 
 the company present ; it was too good a joke, and 
 they would have given it against him under almost 
 any circumstances. 
 
 Major Holder was a rigid economist ; he had 
 also a mind which admitted but one idea at a time ; 
 and, indeed, not very often that. He was possessed 
 of six dozen of cocked-hats, and they must be worn 
 out. Being mostly in command of his own regi- 
 ment, he had unlimited choice as to his own head- 
 dress, so he commenced the task at once. From 
 thenceforth all other hats or caps were to him 
 matters of history. At the economical rate of two 
 hats a year, he might safely calculate upon being 
 much advanced in life before the case was ex-
 
 254 THE MAJOR CHAP. VII. 
 
 hausted. True, there were drawbacks ; he was 
 much consulted about auctions by his friends 
 many inquiries made of him on that, point bills 
 of auctions, and especially anything relating to 
 cocked-hats, forwarded to him by the kind atten- 
 tion of acquaintance and a question very currently 
 put to him by the ensigns was, " Tom, how are 
 you off for hats ?" 
 
 The interest generally taken in the Major's hats 
 was far from dying, even after the lapse of years ; 
 the less likely to do so, indeed, from the circum- 
 stance of their forming epochs in history as, " Such 
 a one got leave in Tom's fourth hat ;" or, " I hope 
 to be off before Tom changes his hat ;" or, " I '11 
 make you a bet that Jack's married before an- 
 other hat's gone." 
 
 When this individual arrived at the Cape he 
 was understood to be in his fifteenth hat ; but there 
 occurred some confusion in the Major's chronology, 
 for it was understood that, owing to the practical 
 jokes played there, no less than three hats were 
 expended during the short month of his stay. To 
 correct this, he adopted the plan of sitting upon his 
 hat at dinner ; but as he wore no tails to his jacket.
 
 CHAP. VII. AND HIS HATS. 255 
 
 and left the feather protruding behind, it had to 
 a stranger the appearance of being a natural ap- 
 pendage to his person. 
 
 Seated gravely at dinner with his protruding 
 tail, it is not astonishing that pretty general merri- 
 ment was excited in his neighbourhood, especially 
 as no person passed it without giving it a pluck and 
 carrying away a feather or two. 
 
 Seated always as nearly opposite to the Major as 
 possible was an American, a dry fellow of no end 
 of anecdotes, which he invariably addressed to the 
 owner of the hats, crowding upon him one story 
 after another so quickly that the Major was entirely 
 bewildered and lost in hopeless perplexity. He 
 had not the most distant perception of a joke, and 
 the oldest resident in India had never seen him 
 laugh : if a smile were extracted from him, it was 
 such a one as a powerful galvanic battery might 
 have drawn from the face of a corpse. 
 
 When the facetious American was about to fasten 
 a story upon Tom Holder, he at once drew the 
 attention of the company to our stolid friend, and it 
 was hard to say which provoked the mirth of the 
 party most, the manner of the narrator, the extreme
 
 256 AMERICAN WIT. CHAP. VII. 
 
 absurdity of the tale, or the intensely puzzled ex- 
 pression of the Major's face. 
 
 From this gentleman we gained the strangest 
 notions of his friends and acquaintances. Of one 
 Joe Adams, down in Kentucky we were told that 
 he had feet so large that he could only put his 
 trowsers on over his head. Another " friend of 
 mine in Boston " was so fat that to pass him you 
 were obliged to go out of town " That's a real 
 fact, Major ; ask any Boston man." One had his 
 legs so long that he was obliged to have his panta- 
 loons made in a rope-walk ; and another was so 
 high in the forehead that he was forced to go up 
 into the garret to put on his hat ! 
 
 Having shot a few of these shafts into the Major, 
 he leaned back in his chair, and blew out a thin 
 sound between a wheeze and a whistle that being 
 his nearest approach to a laugh. 
 
 Various anecdotes were told of the Major : How- 
 he was prevailed upon to become a freemason ; and 
 how, being unable to bear the sufferings of the 
 initiation, he rushed frantically into the street and 
 was taken up by the Dutch police : how he was 
 nearly married, without knowing it, to a stupendous
 
 CHAP. VII. MONSTER TEAMS. 257 
 
 half-caste woman ; and was some time in doubt 
 whether he really was married or single : with others 
 which I omit. 
 
 Mrs. Usher, the proprietor of one of the largest 
 boarding-houses, having done me the favour to in- 
 clude me in a party of seven on an excursion to 
 Constantia, I had an opportunity of seeing that 
 celebrated vineyard under very favourable circum- 
 stances. In the body of the open carriage, with 
 the fair widow, were two of my fellow-passengers 
 to England and myself, two others in the rumble, 
 and Major Holder, coming last, was fain to take up 
 with the spare seat on the box by the side of the 
 Hottentot coachman; the juxta-position of the 
 Malay hat of one and the cocked-hat of the other 
 bringing into curious contrast these two achieve- 
 ments of civilized and savage taste. 
 
 We were contented with four horses, though six 
 or more are frequently driven. Eight and ten in- 
 hand are not unfrequently driven at the Cape, and 
 I on one occasion saw twelve in-hand in a waggon 
 driven at a brisk trot through the streets, though 
 there was, till they cleared the town, a boy running 
 at the head of the leaders more for the purpose of
 
 258 VISIT TO CONSTANTIA. CHAP. VII. 
 
 looking round the corners of the streets than with 
 any view of guiding the cattle. These monster 
 teams are, like our former coaches and six, not so 
 much for show as on account of the badness of the 
 roads. 
 
 The country about Great and Little Constantia 
 is pretty, and rather hilly, with a fair amount of 
 wood. We were taken into the vineyards, and ex- 
 horted to eat and spare not of the luscious fruit, 
 now just about to be gathered. The grapes for the 
 Constantia wine are allowed to remain on the vines 
 till nearly half withered, till the watery particles 
 are partially dried up, and the rich luscious pulp 
 remains. 
 
 While thus ocupied in the grounds of Great Con- 
 stantia a handsome lunch had been spread within 
 doors, of which we were courteously invited to par- 
 take by the proprietor, a small, elderly, anxious- 
 looking Dutchman, who did the honours with great 
 liberality of action, though with somewhat reserved 
 manners. Our friend was, in fact, absent : and, 
 following his eye, it required no penetration to 
 discover the cause of his abstraction. Over the 
 chimneypiece was a rather large painting in reality
 
 CHAP. VII. THE CLOCK. 259 
 
 a clock, with an accompanying landscape. The 
 dial-plate was set in the tower of a village church, 
 situate on the bank of a river, which ran across the 
 foreground, in which were moored sundry barges 
 and other craft, which nodded lazily at their anchors 
 somewhat unaccountably, considering the appa- 
 rently gentle ripple of the stream. Seated on the 
 bank was a votary of the gentle science of angling, 
 somewhat overdressed, according to our sporting 
 notions, in a bright blue coat and red waistcoat : 
 and never, we may venture to say, did old Isaak 
 himself, in his most favoured dream, imagine such 
 abundant sport. He had a nibble every second bob 
 bob bob but he moved not a muscle, even of his 
 countenance, and let the bobbing go on. No one 
 but a Dutchman could have imagined such phlegm. 
 Ten twenty thirty forty bobs, and no notice 
 taken ! Accustomed as we were to the " one- 
 precious-nibble " system of our well-used rivers, it 
 was more than we could stand. 
 
 " AVhy the deuce don't you strike, man ?" But 
 our kind entertainer gently held up his hand, as 
 much as to say, Trust him, he knows what he is 
 about. Fifty-nine bobs have gone by, when, lo ! at
 
 260 THE CLOCK. CHAP. VII. 
 
 the sixtieth, the angler strikes, and up comes a 
 goodly fish. 
 
 Having finished our lunch and seen many fish 
 caught, the sensual taste felt rather a craving for 
 the vaults of which we had heard so much, but our 
 host made no sign of .movement, and watched the 
 moving landscape more earnestly than ever. There 
 was evidently something to come in that quarter, and, 
 as it wanted but a few more fish to the hour, it was 
 not only a matter of courtesy, but of curiosity also, 
 to see what an arrival at that epoch would produce 
 probably two fish perhaps an alligator or a 
 hippopotamus, who knows? Our worthy host, by 
 anxious signs, indicated his wish that we should 
 attend. At the moment the angler hauled up his 
 fish, two folding doors flew open in the tower, and 
 discovered the sexton armed with a heavy hammer, 
 with which he vigorously struck the hour upon a 
 bell. This was the crowning exploit ; having wit- 
 nessed which the little gentleman rose, received our 
 congratulations with complacency, even rubbed his 
 hands with delight, and led us out straightway lo 
 the vaults. He was a man of ample possessions, 
 had hundreds of retainers, and thousands so to
 
 CHAP. VII. THE WINES. 261 
 
 speak of casks of generous wines ; but what to him 
 were all these in comparison to his clock ? I much 
 question, if the choice had been given him, if he 
 would not have preferred a bare competence and 
 that clock to all the rest of his possessions without it. 
 
 No one should venture into a wine-vault without 
 a large share of self-control more especially in a 
 warm climate, after a long walk and a spicy 
 luncheon. 
 
 There are seven or eight different kinds of Con- 
 stantia, some red, some white, some with an agree- 
 able roughness like sweet port, others mellifluous 
 sliding over the palate with a jelly-like ease. Then 
 there are other wines in much perfection : the com- 
 mon Cape, to which Theodore Hook affixed the 
 name of " African nastiness," is far from meriting 
 such a character in its unbrandied state when drawn 
 from these cool vats. It comes near that generous 
 kind of sherry which is on draught at the ventas in 
 the south of Spain, and which is served to you as 
 small ale is to the thirsty wayfarer in England. 
 But the pleasantest " long " drink is a light wine 
 of a sort of Rhenish character, which has not yet, 
 that I am aware of, found its way to England.
 
 262 THE MAJOR'S SONG. CHAP. VII. 
 
 Having given our orders, which on the part of 
 our worthy Captain and one or two others were ex- 
 tremely liberal, we bade- adieu with many thanks 
 to our kind entertainer, happily crowning our ex- 
 pressions of thankfulness by inquiring the name of 
 his clockmaker in Amsterdam (which was duly re- 
 gistered) ; and this probably afforded him more 
 gratification than the sale of the few hogsheads of 
 wine for which the party was booked. 
 
 From Constantia we adjourned to Mrs. Usher's 
 country house, where dinner was provided, and the 
 comparative merits of the wines of Portugal, 
 France, and Madeira discussed till a reasonable 
 hour in the evening. Under the pressure of this 
 conflicting excitement Major Holder volunteered a 
 song ; and never, with the exception of Chinese 
 singing, did my ears drink in such an abortive 
 attempt at vocal melody : it was a harsh, strug- 
 gling clutter of screaming sounds, like a steam- 
 whistle in a quinsy. 
 
 Something I would say, though approaching the 
 subject diffidently, of what an elegant modern 
 writer calls "posterial luxuriance" an attribute 
 so remarkable in this colony as to be obvious to the
 
 CHAP. VII. " POSTERIAL LUXURIANCE." 263 
 
 most superficial observer. Without mooting the 
 invidious question as to which the Dutch or the 
 Hottentot Venus exceed> the other in this charac- 
 teristic, we may say that it is when the two races 
 come together - when Greek meets Greek that the 
 result is truly stupendous ; scarcely, indeed, to be 
 credited without the evidence of the eyes. 
 
 The figures of some of the large, middle-aged, 
 half-breed women have a tremulous motion, as if 
 capped with a monster shape of jelly or blancmange ; 
 and I confess that I never followed them without 
 experiencing a painful apprehension that, on occa- 
 sion of a little extra exertion, they might drop that 
 which it would be impossible to advertise, and diffi- 
 cult to re-adjust if recovered. And with this 
 passing notice I reverently drop the curtain. 
 
 There are a vast number of wild animals scat- 
 tered about in every part of the Cape colony : even 
 lions occasionally make their appearance most un- 
 accountably in the neighbourhood of the farms ; 
 and lost horses are constantly described as having 
 the scratch of a lion upon them. I myself met a 
 hyaena at night in one of the streets of Cape Town. 
 But the most extraordinary animal I saw was the 
 aard-vark, or sand-hog a creature as large as a
 
 264 . WILD ANIMALS. CHAP. VII. 
 
 good-sized pig, though in shape and habits resem- 
 bling the mole. The short, powerful claws were, 
 excepting in size, precisely similar. This animal is 
 formed for the deep sand, and would be quite help- 
 less on hard ground. With a few strokes of his 
 short feet he seems to vanish unaccountably in the 
 sand, leaving scarcely a trace behind ; and his sud- 
 den rise out of the smooth bare plain is no less 
 calculated to astonish the traveller. 
 
 The giraffes, zehras, elephants, and rhinoceroses 
 have now retired northwards ; as have also the vast 
 herds of antelope of various kinds, though a suffi- 
 cient sprinkling of the last is left to satisfy a 
 rational sportsman, who follows his game more as 
 an incentive to manly exercise, and as leading him 
 into wild and untrodden scenes, than for the brutal 
 enjoyment of a Smithfield slaughterman. 
 
 Among the animals in the public gardens at Cape 
 Town was a real wild lion, not long taken, and 
 bearing his imprisonment with a very bad grace, 
 having received from nature an irritable disposition, 
 not improved perhaps by the deceit practised in his 
 capture. He had been taken somewhere on the 
 northern frontier when full grown. 
 
 The lion is particularly fond of Hottentot flesh
 
 CHAP. VII. CATCHING A LIOX. 265 
 
 probably from its being of a more gamy flavour than 
 other meat. 
 
 A Hottentot, in the service of a boer, had fre- 
 quently observed that be was followed by a lion, 
 probably from his possessing in a higher degree 
 than others of his race the relish which the lion 
 delighted in. As the man naturally desired to be 
 relieved of these polite attentions, he readily lent 
 himself to a scheme for capturing his enemy. 
 
 There was a hill in the neighbourhood of the 
 boer's house, which sloped gradually on one side, 
 and ended in a precipitous cliff on the other. This 
 seemed a favourable spot for this experiment. 
 
 A strong net was made, something in the nature 
 of a cabbage- net, of two-inch rope, and the meshes 
 sufficiently small to prevent the lion from dropping 
 through. A very strong rope was then run through 
 the upper meshes and fastened to stakes driven into 
 the ground at the edge of the cliff, the net hanging 
 down over the precipice, and its mouth kept dis- 
 tended by slender rods or branches, not of sufficient 
 strength to impede the lion, but merely to hold open 
 the mouth of the purse which was to receive him. 
 
 All things being ready, the Hottentot went about
 
 266 CATCHING A LION. CHAP. VII. 
 
 his usual avocations, keeping, however, a bright 
 look-out for his would-be consumer, and taking 
 especial care to avoid the bush and keep in the open 
 as much as possible. 
 
 One afternoon he felt, rather than saw, that the 
 lion was on his trail his senses being, no doubt, 
 sharpened by a consciousness of his own attractions. 
 He was a long way from home and from the trap, 
 and it became a question whether the lion would 
 not waive ceremony, and run in upon him and chop 
 him before he could reach it. 
 
 He hastened anxiously forward, turning round 
 occasionally to see how his pursuer got on. The 
 lion kept his motions concealed as well as the 
 ground permitted him to do so ; stealing with belly 
 crouched to the ground, and, when the Hottentot 
 stopped, lying down till he resumed his walk his 
 large muzzle resting on his paws, and his ample 
 mouth watering with the expected enjoyment; 
 while just the very end of his tail was flirted con- 
 vulsively to and fro, indicating the seriousness of 
 his intentions. 
 
 The faster the Hottentot got on the nearer the 
 lion approached him probably the better to enjoy
 
 CHAP. VII. CATCHING A LION. 267 
 
 the whiff of his coming meal, as we find the smell 
 of the kitchen becomes more savoury as the meat 
 gets hot. The Hottentot is now ascending the hill, 
 and the guest invited to dine upon him scarcely 
 twenty yards behind, lashing his tail and anxious to 
 sit down to dinner. The Hottentot goes over the 
 edge of the cliff, slipping down between the net and 
 the rock to a place contrived for him, but pausing, to 
 give the lion a notion that he was sitting down to 
 rest himself; then, depositing his hat upon the very 
 edge, hastened to his hiding-place. 
 
 The lion, seeing the hat stationary, naturally 
 imagines that the man is below it, and, crawling up 
 to within a few yards, makes his spring. Finding 
 nothing to stop him, over the cliff he goes right into 
 the purse-net, which, sinking with his weight, draws 
 the ropes tight, and he hangs suspended in the 
 net. 
 
 Plenty of assistance is, of course, at hand, and 
 with strong ropes the lion's legs are tied, and he is 
 put into a waggon and brought to Cape Town, 
 where I saw him fretting, no doubt from the trick 
 which had been played him. 
 
 There is a story on the frontier of a commissary 
 
 N 2
 
 268 THE COMMISSARY CHAP. VII. 
 
 \vho was in like manner followed by a lion on oc- 
 casion of visiting one of the advanced posts. Being 
 mounted, he thought to ride away from the beast ; 
 and succeeded at last in putting a sandy plain be- 
 tween himself and the animal, looking carefully 
 over which he could descry no trace of the lion upon 
 his footsteps, and concluded that he had shaken 
 him off. 
 
 There seems something appropriate in a commis- 
 sary being laid under contribution for provisions ; 
 though he never perhaps contemplated such a re- 
 quisition being made upon his own person. 
 
 Having crossed with some difficulty the heavy 
 sand, his horse knocked up ; but having no fear of 
 pursuit, he dismounted, and, hobbling the horse, lay 
 down upon the grass by the side of a small bush, 
 intending to push on when the animal was a little 
 refreshed. Tired and exhausted, he fell asleep, 
 and was awoke in pitch darkness by feeling a hairy 
 muzzle close to his face, as if investigating the pro- 
 priety of a bite in that quarter. He was without 
 arms ; and even if he had had any, the chance of 
 using them would have been small, so completely 
 was he in the power of the beast that hung over
 
 CHAP. VII. AND THE LION. 269 
 
 him. The tactics of the animal did not certainly 
 seem those of the lion, who usually makes a rush, 
 and despatches his prey with a vigorous exercise of 
 claws and teeth ; whereas this animal, whatever he 
 might be, rather seemed disposed to dally with his 
 repast, and indulge in a voluptuous, protracted 
 anticipation. Presently the animal, having investi- 
 gated him by the smell, seemed rather disposed to 
 taste him, for he put forth his tongue and gently 
 licked his face. 
 
 The commissary rather shrank from this expres- 
 sion of intimacy, and would have withdrawn beyond 
 the reach of the tongue, but the animal, whatever it 
 was, intimated by a growl that he had no intention 
 of breaking off the acquaintance so suddenly 
 
 Half dead with fear, which was the more appall- 
 ing from the helpless inaction of his position, he is 
 suddenly startled by a dreadful roar within a few 
 yards, then a rush a scramble a short but ter- 
 rific fight a feeble whine heard through the roars 
 and growls and finally, the cracking of ribs and 
 the tearing of flesh and sinews, accompanied by a 
 low growling, indicative of much satisfaction on the 
 part of the supper-eater.
 
 270 AN ANXIOUS NIGHT. CHAP. VII. 
 
 This lasted for the space of a quarter of an hour, 
 when, the meal being finished, the animal withdrew, 
 and left the commissary in solitude and darkness. 
 
 His first care was to find his horse, if possible ; 
 but the animal had been so completely scared that 
 he contrived, in spite of the hobbles, to hop off to 
 some distance, and to regain him in such a night, 
 not knowing the direction he had taken, were a 
 hopeless attempt. The best thing seemed to be to 
 wait patiently till morning. A tragedy of some 
 kind had been enacted, and the great performer, 
 having satisfied himself, was likely to be more safe 
 on that account. 
 
 During that livelong night wild animals roamed 
 near him, but kept rather aloof. He fancied he 
 recognised the malignant growl of the hyaena and 
 the sharp cry of the " lion's provider " though it 
 rather seemed as if the lion had, on this occasion, 
 provided for himself. 
 
 Day at last dawned, and he discovered his horse 
 half a mile away on the hill side. Round about 
 him the grass was torn up as if in some deadly 
 struggle ; blood and bones were scattered about, and 
 portions of a black and white skin, which he had no
 
 CHAP. VII. WHALE'S MILK. 271 
 
 difficulty in recognising as that of a Newfoundland 
 dog. A faint curling of smoke arose from a distant 
 enclosure, and thither he hastened, when the events- 
 of the night were accounted for. 
 
 He had been followed by the lion across the 
 plain, but his whereabout had been previously dis- 
 covered by a large dog, always turned out at night, 
 and whose attentions in licking his face we have 
 previously described. At this moment the lion must 
 have appeared on the scene, and pounced upon the 
 dog instead of the commissary. 
 
 In the museum were many curiosities; among 
 others the foetus of a whale an unborn infant 
 twelve or fifteen feet long. 
 
 At the boarding-house I looked with some in- 
 terest upon a man who said he had drunk whale's 
 milk. It struck me that one who had acted in the 
 capacity of dairy-maid to a whale could have been 
 no ordinary person. 
 
 Many of the birds of the Cape colony are very 
 beautiful the sugar-bird particularly ; but my ex- 
 cursions did not extend into any woody region, and 
 they came but little under my notice. 
 
 A great place for game was Saldanha Bay, about
 
 272 THE CAPE HORSE. CHAP. VII. 
 
 seventy miles north of Table Bay, on the west coast. 
 Water had not been discovered there in my time, so 
 there was no settlement, or even inhabitants. From 
 this cause alone the west coast of the colony will 
 probably remain uninhabited. 
 
 The Cape horse, originally of the Spanish breed 
 from South America, is an animal of great endur- 
 ance and serviceable qualities ; he is also naturally 
 docile. It is no uncommon thing to ride eighty or 
 a hundred miles on the same horse. In travelling 
 post they are changed at distances depending upon 
 the stations. The traveller is furnished with a 
 government order, which entitles him to demand a 
 horse, for which a regular scale of charges is esta- 
 blished, and the cattle furnished are usually good. 
 The luxurious way of travelling, however, is by 
 waggon, drawn by oxen, and conveying everything 
 which the traveller is at all likely to want, even 
 kegs of water. As saddle-horses always accompany 
 these expeditions, you are free to pursue any sport 
 that may offer. 
 
 One way of hunting, as well as shooting, deer is 
 by no means a bad one. A line of horsemen is 
 formed, each probably at fifty yards from the other.
 
 CHAP. VII. HUNTING. 273 
 
 and the flankers at either end of the line a little 
 thrown forward. In this order you go straight 
 across the country through the heath, and are sure 
 to start any deer that may lie in your way. When 
 a deer is on foot, the flankers gallop across the front 
 to intercept him, while the others close round. 
 Every man fires as he can obtain a shot, and the 
 excitement of galloping about and firing as the deer 
 dodges about makes it a spirited scene. Jackals 
 also are sprung, and other animals. We heard 
 some talk also of wild turkeys, and a bird as large 
 as a pheasant. 
 
 Cape Town is well liked by the garrison ; not so 
 the frontier stations : but as there is no accounting 
 for tastes, and the grumblers are a large and in- 
 fluential class, the true merits of such a case are not 
 readily arrived at. The common soldier makes 
 himself at home in all places ; the worst for him 
 being probably India, where in the hot season he is 
 shut up in barracks from sunrise to sunset, a prey to 
 weariness and hopeless ejmui, with few resources, 
 and driven to drinking and dissipation for want of 
 something better to do. As a good share of bodily 
 exercise is conducive to health, even in the hottest 
 
 N 3
 
 274 NTSCESSITY OF EMPLOYMENT CHAP. VII. 
 
 climates, provided exposure to the sun be guarded 
 against, there should be sheds, racket-courts, or 
 other contrivances, in every barrack-yard, of suffi- 
 cient size to afford recreation to all in turn. Quoits 
 are an excellent game, requiring but little room, 
 and probably better than the more violent exertion 
 of racquet or fives. Many men are driven to 
 suicide or morbid melancholy by brooding over the 
 circumstances of their hopeless exile, aggravated 
 by the harsh restraints they are subject to, and the 
 want of mental and bodily occupation. 
 
 It is a mistake to suppose that a soldier is an 
 idle man. His ordinary duties in barracks are 
 rather harassing and vexatious than hard ; but the 
 delight with which they hail a " turn out" of any 
 kind, to give a little excitement to their monotonous 
 life, is notorious. Volunteers are never wanting 
 for anything, let the labour or the danger be what 
 it may. 
 
 Judging from the success of our theatricals on 
 board ship, I should think something of that nature 
 might be had recourse to. The excitement we 
 found to be most beneficial, not only to the spirits, 
 but the bodily health.
 
 CHAP. VII. AND RECREATION FOR SOLDIERS. l>7"> 
 
 Making men run round a ship or a barrack- 
 square, as is sometimes practised, is absurd: the 
 object is not sufficiently apparent or necessary to 
 make up for a feeling of degradation at its absurdity. 
 It is a mere appeal to the physical, without enlist- 
 ing the moral influence, and gone through as a 
 hardship when it ought to be a sport. Exercise, to 
 be healthful, should be voluntary, and without 
 restraint or interference. Men who would be dis- 
 gusted at running round a deck would readily join 
 in any sport, by which much more exercise might 
 be obtained. In our military system, the treatment 
 of the men as mere machines, and rather brutalising 
 than raising their condition, has hitherto but too 
 much prevailed. I never knew but one officer who 
 thoroughly knew, and practised, the art of fostering 
 the moral feelings of the soldier, and establishing a 
 system of reliance upon them who deprecated too 
 much watching or unnecessary prying into their 
 every movement who had rather be ignorant of a 
 trifling fault than vexatiously hunt it out who, 
 with a well-ordered chain of responsibility, yet gave 
 great independence of action, and power regulated 
 by circumstances who, in a word, treated the sol-
 
 276 TREATMENT OF THE SOLDIER. CHAP. VII. 
 
 dier as unlike the system of the old martinets as 
 possible ; and, instead of arriving at the result of a 
 mere machine of routine and pipeclay, infused a 
 spirit of intelligence, alacrity, self-reliance, and 
 good humour, which I never saw equalled, and very 
 rarely indeed approached, except by those who had 
 had the advantage of serving under him. I mean 
 the late Colonel Considine.
 
 CHAP. VIII. NEW NAMES. 277 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 New Names of Places Advertisements English and Dutch 
 Agitators Canals Climate Fruits Take a Passage 
 Home Stock and Passengers St. Helena Ascension 
 The Grassy Sea Cowes Boatmen Land at Dover. 
 
 As much of the habits and manners of a people 
 may be inferred from their advertisements, I pur- 
 pose to string together a few, taken from time to 
 time, as they met my eye in the Cape newspapers, 
 without any reference to their order or arrange- 
 ment. The first which strikes me is a Government 
 proclamation giving names to the new settlements 
 in British Cafiraria. 
 
 The country allotted (as if it did not belong to 
 them !) to the Gaika tribes is to be called York- 
 shire, with the Keiskamma, and Chumie, and 
 Kameka, and Kolonie, and Kebonsie rivers running 
 through it ; and with such ranges of mountains so
 
 278 NEW NAMES. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 like the Yorkshire moors as the Amatoli and 
 Calazeli ; and traversed by the Great Kie road. 
 
 Next to Yorkshire, on the south probably from 
 his Excellency being a little out of practice in his 
 dissected maps is " the county of Middlesex ;" 
 and the place of Sandilli, the chief of the Gaikas, 
 is named York. 
 
 The territory allotted to the Amanbala, the 
 Dushani, and the Hlambie people, along the 
 southern boundary of Middlesex, is to be called 
 Lincolnshire: Stock's place to be called Lin- 
 coln ; Siwani's, Newark ; and Tabais's, Grant- 
 ham. The Amagunuquabi, under Pato, are to 
 reside in Bedfordshire, Pato himself in Bedford : 
 and the rising town at the mouth of the Buffalo 
 river (still in Bedfordshire) is to be called London ! 
 Part of the Hlambie tribes are settled in Cam- 
 bridgeshire, and the others in the adjoining county 
 of Sussex : Tois's (the chiefs) place to be called 
 Goodwood ! 
 
 Immediately following this is a Government 
 notice for assembling the whole of the Chiefs to 
 meet the High Commissioner, " to have explained 
 to them their future position their prospects if
 
 CHAP. VIII. ADVERTISEMENTS. 279 
 
 their conduct be good the course that will be pur- 
 sued if the reverse. All missionaries, and others 
 interested in the welfare of these benighted barba- 
 rians, are invited to attend." 
 
 No doubt the "benighted barbarians" will be 
 considerably in the dark as to their future resi- 
 dences, as the names will be entirely unpronounce- 
 able. One might have supposed that native names, 
 taken from the rivers or mountains, as Keiskamma, 
 or Chalumna, or Chumie, or Amatoli, would have 
 answered equally well, instead of establishing an- 
 other New York and New Boston in South Africa, 
 most likely to be repeated in Australia, New Zea- 
 land, &c. &c. 
 
 The next advertisement is drawn so mildly as to 
 be quite characteristic : 
 
 " Those persons who have taken the windows and 
 doors from out of the school-house will oblige by- 
 returning them. 
 
 " WM. BENTLEY." 
 
 Then comes a sale, at Steenrot's Fontein, of 
 
 Perfumery, consisting of Rowland's genuine kalydor. 
 oil, odonto, and essence of tyre (qy. tire ? ) ; Smyth's 
 best perfumes, various ; rondilitia, honeysuckle, sweet- 
 pea, spring-flower, sweet-brier, verbena, millefleur.
 
 280 ADVERTISEMENTS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 geranium, royal essence, &c. ; puff-boxes and sachets 
 d'odeurs." 
 
 There seems something incongruous in a man at 
 Steenrot's Fontein anointing himself with kalydor, 
 and carrying " sachets d'odeurs ;" but the general 
 custom of Africa is the anointing with fat of some 
 kind not, however, generally breathing of Araby 
 the Blest. 
 
 Adjoining this enumeration of perfumery is the 
 advertisement of a gentleman who is selling his 
 household furniture, a great portion of which, he 
 boasts, is made of stinkwood. The purchaser will 
 probably not be insensible to the advantages of a 
 depot of sachets d'odeurs in the neighbourhood. 
 
 A Graham's Town journal advertises a large 
 arrival of new music, " warranted correct," includ- 
 ing " Freeboter's Tancredi," " II Macaroni Se- 
 greto," " Junior the Tartar," &c. &c. ; then a lot 
 of karosses and a windmill for sale ; and the follow- 
 ing somewhat ambitious one, rendered more em- 
 phatic by a note of admiration : 
 
 " Notice. It having been intimated to me that 
 great inconvenience has been endured for want of some 
 person willing to act as SCAVENGER GENERALLY to
 
 CHAP. VIII. ADVERTISEMENTS. 281 
 
 this town ! allow me to state that I liave RESOLVED 
 TO ATTEND TO THAT BUSINESS in all its branches; 
 and that, upon a short notice, chimneys will be at- 
 tended to also. N.B. The municipality has granted 
 permission to Mr. Harper to act in that, capacity, WHOM 
 I REPRESENT, and will be found on his premises. 
 
 " C. H. 
 " Graham's Town.'' 
 
 The cool way in which this gentleman shelves 
 poor Mr. Harper, his principal, is the sure indica- 
 tion of an ambitious mind : and the emphatic man- 
 ner so ably seconded by his printer in which he 
 rushes into the slush of Graham's Town, would 
 seem to merit promotion among our celebrated 
 " Commissioners." The next is somewhat obscure 
 
 " Meger and Co. are receiving, ex Johanna, direct 
 from England, Baftas, Punjums, Voerchitz, &c. &c." 
 
 How long we have taken to export punjums, 
 baftas, and voerchitz, this editor is unable to say. 
 
 It is seldom in England that we have occasion to 
 jog the memories of our creditors in this way : 
 
 " Captain W , Regt., requests that all 
 
 demands against him may be sent to Fort England 
 immediately."
 
 282 ADVERTISEMENTS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 And another officer is in the same impatient anxiety 
 to settle his little accounts. 
 
 The next is even more characteristic of the 
 country : 
 
 " It is requested that all claims against the late Mr. 
 John Stanley, of Trentham Park (recently murdered 
 by Kaffirs), may be sent in to Mrs. Stanley without 
 delay." 
 
 The melancholy end of this person is mentioned 
 in another part of the paper : 
 
 " Died at his farm, Trentham Park, Mr. John 
 Stanley, aged 67. Deceased was employed fetching 
 wood, when his waggon was attacked by Kaffirs, who, 
 after putting an end to his existence, mutilated his 
 remains in a manner too shocking to describe." 
 
 They have even taken to preserve their game in 
 South Africa: 
 
 " Notice. The undersigned cautions all persons; 
 against shooting, hunting, or outspanning on his farm, 
 Vege Kraal, Fish River Drift. All unauthorised 
 persons will be prosecuted, and all cattle sent to the 
 
 pound. 
 
 " J. PRYOR." 
 
 One is curious to know what kind of game Mr.
 
 CHAP. VIII. ADVERTISEMENTS. 283 
 
 Pryor preserves, whether elephants, rhinoceroses, 
 hippopotamuses, or giraffes. 
 
 The Frontier Bank, I observe, is very explicit in 
 the matter of " inviolable secrecy in respect to the 
 accounts of its constituents," which seems thought- 
 ful. 
 
 The following does not seem to indicate much 
 stability of property in the colony : 
 
 " The undersigned, having given up all other mer- 
 cantile pursuits, with an intention to confine himself 
 entirely to the profession of an auctioneer, will in 
 future unite to his town business that of COUNTRY 
 
 SALES ALSO. 
 
 " C. POTE." 
 
 Mr. Pote forthwith advertises a well-watered 
 Erf. 
 
 There is little to indicate the amount of rents ; 
 but two cottages with gardens, at Graham's Town, 
 are let for I/, a month each ; and a " pleasantly 
 situated house near the church" let at 50/. a year. 
 
 The higher order of sciences are cultivated at 
 Graham's Town : 
 
 " Mrs. and Miss Eade's establishment for young 
 ladies will re-open on Tuesday, Jan. 18th. The study
 
 284 ADVERTISEMENTS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 of astronomy being now considered an indispensable 
 part of education, the pupils of this establishment, in 
 addition to the use of the globes, will have the ad- 
 vantage of viewing the heavenly bodies through an 
 ASTRONOMICAL KEFLECTOR of large dimensions. As 
 regards that sublime science, the harmony that prevails 
 in the starry firmament, and the laws by which it is 
 governed, are circumstances which cannot fail to ele- 
 vate the mind as it becomes acquainted with the 
 grandeur and glories of the universe." 
 
 Even if it tend only to promote harmony in Miss 
 Eade's little galaxy, it will be something. At the 
 boarding-houses the dinner is six o'clock. 
 
 These are the kind of persons you meet strolling 
 about the country : 
 
 " On Tuesday a farming-man, with farm produce, 
 from Mr. Cumming's place, fell in with two Kaffirs. 
 Both were armed with full bundles of assagais, carry- 
 ing, as is their custom, a loose weapon in their hands. 
 On seeing this man they stopped for a few minutes. 
 one of them quivering his assagai ; but ultimately 
 they turned aside, without offering the man any mo- 
 lestation." 
 
 A quack doctor offers a " Tincture of Life " for 
 snake-bites, horse sickness, sponge sickness in cattle, 
 and distemper in dogs.
 
 CHAP. VIII. ADVERTISEMENTS. 285 
 
 This is the clear description of an impounded ox : 
 
 " 1 red skilder ox, skimmel head, left ear stump, 
 right ear winkelhaak, schilder belly, piece cut out 
 behind, wolf-bite on left flank." 
 
 The following is from a person who is " not par- 
 ticular to a shade :" 
 
 " Wanted, in a respectable family in the country, a 
 steady middle-aged European female, as nurse and 
 house manageress : also a good cook, of either sex, and 
 of any colour." 
 
 This is the delicate way in which an editor re- 
 freshes the memories of his subscribers : 
 
 ' Christmas Boxes and New Year's Gifts. After 
 December follows January, and the beginning of a new 
 year, say the Almanacs, and both convenience and 
 judgment have pointed out this season as a favourable 
 one for discharging old scores and for commencing a 
 course of reading. Attention to both cases are de- 
 licately hinted towards this journal, when so excellent 
 an opportunity occurs of carrying out the recom- 
 mendation. But long-winded subscribers, with short 
 memories, in far away country districts out of Hu- 
 manity's reach, and out of the reach of the collector 
 are respectfully informed that their weekly luxuries 
 will be suddenly cut off from the commencement of the 
 year, unless some metallic reasons to the contrary are 
 immediately sent. 
 
 " Journal Office, 59, St. George's-street."
 
 286 ADVERTISEMENTS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 At the Cradoch Kloof races, I observe, it is an 
 established rule " that no horse shall run without 
 a saddle." The following seems to be a new way 
 of advertising the goods of a rival tradesman : 
 
 " S.JT. has also on hand, as specimens, a small lot 
 of Drapers' and Winklers' plated jewellery, warranted. 
 This trash is highly recommended to those persons to 
 whom money is no object, and the trouble of keeping it 
 in repair of no importance." 
 
 A hairdresser carrying on business without a 
 house probably residing under a tree seems 
 new: 
 
 " Notice. The undersigned begs leave to acquaint 
 the inhabitants of Graham's Town that he intends to 
 practise as barber and hairdresser ; not as yet having 
 any settled place, will be happy to attend customers," 
 &c. 
 
 Decency, it seems, has to be sought out by ad- 
 vertisement : 
 
 " Wanted a decent girl as housemaid, who would 
 also take charge of a child. Apply," &c. 
 
 This advertisement speaks for itself : 
 
 - Place, , Field Cornetcy of Tarka. 
 
 " Bankrupt's Stock.
 
 CHAP. VIII. ADVERTISEMENTS. 287 
 
 " To be sold by auction without reserve, on Thurs- 
 day next, the whole of the household furniture, 
 surgery fittings, books, plate, pictures, &c., the pro- 
 perty of Dr. , surgeon and apothecary, at the 
 
 dispensary and adjoining premises. 
 
 " The effects comprise several valuable oil-paintings ; 
 a small, but select library ; six excellent telescopes ; 
 and very elegant drawing-room and other furniture, 
 &c. &c." 
 
 We here read the fate of a gentleman settler, 
 after a short, but doubtless severe, pursuit of science 
 under difficulties. We trace the suburban practi- 
 tioner, rendered desperate by the salubrity of Bays- 
 water, packing up his coloured lamp, his night-bell, 
 his medical fittings, his surgical and obstetric in- 
 struments, quitting an ungrateful country and an 
 unappreciating neighbourhood, and settling down in 
 the " Field Cornetcy of Tarka." 
 
 Ill-advised ^Esculapius ! he forgot at the critical 
 moment for how long a time the dura ilia of 
 farmers have been a proverb, little likely to require 
 aid from his Pil. Hydrarg., or Ext. Col. Comp. ; 
 and that casualties are rare where no omnibuses 
 run, and people fall soft upon the sandy plains. 
 He is a man of refined taste, by the tenacity with
 
 288 ADVERTISEMENTS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 which he clings to his oil-paintings and his select 
 library. What a bright look-out for practice is 
 indicated by the six telescopes! the "assistant," 
 the " boy," probably the whole household sweep- 
 ing the horizon for casualties, and sister Ann seeing 
 nobody coming ! What lower deep there may be 
 beyond the Field Cornetcy of Tarka does not 
 appear in this ephemeral record. 
 
 The following, which is a common form, seems 
 an immense improvement upon our more blunt 
 announcement that Smith or Brown departed this 
 life, sincerely regretted by a numerous circle of 
 friends : 
 
 " Died, at Stellenbosch, on the 20th instant, my 
 beloved husband, Martin Kranz, storekeeper, at the age 
 of 34 years, 11 months, and 12 days, leaving me with 
 one daughter. All outstanding accounts are requested 
 to be settled without delay. 
 
 " Widow ELLEN KRANZ, born JACOBS." 
 
 This is not only business-like which might 
 have been expected in one "born Jacobs" but is 
 affectionate, explicit, and with a shrewd look to 
 future prospects. A young widow, with an only 
 daughter and power to add to the number would 
 of itself be a desirable object in a rising colony ;
 
 CHAP. VIII. RESIDENTS. 289 
 
 but how much more so being settled in a thriving, 
 well-established store, with a gentle fertilizing 
 shower of book-debts pleasantly ' dropping in ! 
 while the tenderness with which she speaks of the 
 dear departed is a happy omen for the one to come. 
 
 There is little social intercourse between the 
 English and Dutch residents at the Cape. The 
 latter, from the short experience I had of them, 
 seem a singularly pig-headed people ; obstinate, 
 prejudiced, narrow-minded, and jealous. That 
 these qualities have pretty generally spread among 
 all parties would seem to be proved by the late pro- 
 ceedings of the colonists in the matter of the con- 
 victs. An infusion of Saxon blood, even in the 
 veins of convicts, it was most unwise, as well as 
 ungrateful, to reject. Of all places that I have 
 ever visited, Cape Town seemed to be the most 
 afflicted with restless, impertinent agitators mind- 
 ing everybody's business besides their own, perpetu- 
 ally stirring up the -English tradesmen (otherwise 
 contented enough), and even the Dutch, into some 
 demonstration of opinion generally adverse to the 
 mother country. That this convict agitation was 
 so got up there is little doubt, and crammed down 
 
 o
 
 290 CANALS. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 the honest burghers' throats in many cases against 
 the stomach of their sense. In another Kaffir war 
 this will doubtless be remembered : and when the 
 Isthmuses of Panama and Suez shall be opened, 
 with steam by other routes to Australia and China, 
 possession of the Cape will cease to be of great 
 importance. 
 
 The principal street of Cape Town has been 
 rendered as disagreeable as circumstances would 
 permit, by the introduction of a canal, and its con- 
 sequent stagnant water. This propensity of the 
 Dutch to dig canals wherever they settle, without 
 the slightest reference to the locality, the climate, 
 and consequently the health and comfort of the 
 people, because they happened to have canals in 
 Holland, is perhaps the most singular instance of 
 obstinate perversity that the world has ever seen, 
 unless it was hoped that the increased production 
 of mosquitoes would be beneficial in overcoming 
 the national phlegm. 
 
 Less objectionable is their transplanting oaks 
 from home to adorn the banks of these waters. The 
 trees have entirely changed their old habits, and 
 have taken to put forth buds in November, and full
 
 CHAP. VIII. ENGAGE A PASSAGE. 291 
 
 leaves in January, as if they had been regularly 
 brought up to it. 
 
 Many of the Dutch young ladies are very pretty 
 of the doll-like order of beauty round red-and- 
 white faces, small features, fair hair, and rather 
 short plump figures. 
 
 Notwithstanding the endless crossing of races, 
 the peculiarity of the Hottentot expression can 
 never be effaced. An individual may become 
 white by the preponderance of European blood ; 
 but where there is the most remote taint of the 
 Hottentot, a trace of the sharp, sly, distrustful, 
 restless expression will remain upon the features. 
 
 Having, fortunately, secured a berth in the same 
 vessel which took me out to the Mauritius, and 
 which had touched at the Cape on her way home 
 from India, I prepared reluctantly to quit this 
 rather pleasant colony. It has not certainly the 
 gaiety of the Isle of France, inasmuch as the 
 dogged manners of the Dutch, and the reserve of 
 the English, are not calculated to produce so lively 
 a society as that of the French Creoles ; neither are 
 there the same luxuries or refinements ; but it has 
 this enormous advantage, that you have a sense of 
 
 o2
 
 292 CLIMATE. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 almost unlimited elbowroom, and may ride, if so 
 minded, five hundred miles on end in a friendly 
 country, and five thousand, if disposed for the risk, 
 with all the exciting accompaniments of sport and 
 adventure. During the month I was at the Cape 
 the thermometer was steady at about 75, rarely 
 exceeding a degree or two either way, and this at 
 the end of summer, February and March, the 
 hottest time of the year. In the Mauritius, in the 
 early summer, it was steady at 82 at Mahebourg, 
 and ranging from that to 94 3 at Port Louis. To 
 my sensations the Cape climate seemed perfection. 
 Nor must I omit some notice of the fruit, which 
 includes all the European kinds in the greatest per- 
 fection and abundance, and wanting only those 
 kinds peculiar to the tropics. 
 
 Our passengers consisted of six officers on their re- 
 turn from India to England ; a remarkably handsome 
 monkey, of that kind which the French call " Vavo- 
 cat" from his flowing black gown of long smooth 
 hair, and a spotless white wig commencing at the top 
 of his head and flowing downwards on either side of 
 his face, precisely in the manner of our judges' wigs ; 
 a nylghau, a zebra, and one or two rare Indian
 
 CHAP. VIII. STOCK AND PASSENGERS. 293 
 
 animals to which I can attach no recognised name. 
 To these the sailors had added a number of tor- 
 toises, picked up in their walks at the Cape ; one 
 of these was so large that, if mounted by his master 
 while taking his stately walk, he continued without 
 any sensible inconvenience from the weight. The 
 Kaffirs cook these animals with horrible barbarity, 
 placing them back downwards on the fire, and 
 roasting them alive in their own shells. It is one 
 of the punishments which the same barbarians 
 wreak upon their enemies, to bind them hand and 
 foot, naked, and covered with honey, upon an 
 ants' nest, where they are first cruelly stung, and 
 subsequently eaten, partly alive, by those and other 
 insects. 
 
 Our party on board would have been increased 
 by a lady, calling herself a British female, about 
 to return home, but she was scared away from the 
 ship by the advances of the monkey. 
 
 In twelve days, with a fair wind (the south-east 
 trade) blowing right aft, we sighted a solitary lump 
 of land, rising above the ocean like a plum-cake 
 upon a table. This was St. Helena. At a little 
 distance the cliffs seem wholly perpendicular; on
 
 294 ST. HELENA. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 a nearer approach some small clefts and gullies are 
 discernible ; but every place that the most adven- 
 turous human foot could attempt has its guard- 
 house and sentry-boxes. 
 
 James Town is squeezed into a narrow tortuous 
 valley, and is rather pretty, from its neat white 
 houses and abundant trees. The fervour of the 
 climate was indicated by the officer of the guard 
 where we landed standing in full uniform under a 
 large umbrella. 
 
 After a temperate luncheon (the charge for 
 which, by the by, would have procured a luxurious 
 dinner at the Clarendon, and of which I have rarely 
 met with any parallel, except at the hotel of Ma- 
 dame de Belem, at Lisbon) we mounted some very 
 indifferent horses and rode to Longwood. The old 
 house (now pulled down) was but a scrry tenement, 
 and, when we saw it, converted into a sort of 
 barn or granary for hay and corn. Napoleon's sit- 
 ting-room, where he received visitors, was small and 
 inconvenient. The house stood in a better situation 
 than the new one built by Government for him in 
 a lower and more confined situation, the roof being 
 about on a level with the ground on which the old
 
 CHAP. VIII. ST. HELENA. 295 
 
 house stood. The celebrated tomb, with its willow- 
 trees, was in charge of a disreputable drunken old 
 sergeant. 
 
 St. Helena is by no means the desolate rock it 
 is the fashion to represent it. The surface, where 
 not cultivated, is wholly covered with verdure, ap- 
 parently heath and myrtle, and there are some beau- 
 tiful retreats embosomed among trees in the narrow 
 valleys. 
 
 James Town is supplied entirely with rain-water, 
 carefully caught and stored in tanks. This 
 being a matter of primary importance, it fur- 
 nishes the principal topic of conversation, entirely 
 setting aside our never-failing one of the weather. 
 To a question of " How do you do ?" the answer is 
 too frequently, " Oh ! we're in sad anxiety ; we are 
 nearly dry !" After a wet night there is quite an 
 excitement, and the first question is, " How many 
 inches have you measured this morning ?" 
 
 Provisions are exceedingly dear, live stock being 
 brought from the Cape ; a few fowls and fish are 
 the only native produce. Of the latter, the conger- 
 eel is the most abundant, and is said to furnish the 
 chief food of the lower and middle orders. It is,
 
 296 ASCENSION. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 however, carefully repudiated by the " tlite" and 
 considered so entirely vulgar that the possibility of 
 its being eaten would be thought an insult. Even 
 to press any offer of cooling drink might call forth 
 the resentful inquiry 
 
 " Do you suppose, Sir, that I have dined upon 
 salt conger ?" 
 
 The inhabitants have wonderfully fair com- 
 plexions, considering the low latitude of the place ; 
 the young women have considerable freshness and 
 some beauty. 
 
 After a day's refreshment at this road-side bait- 
 ing-place, we spread our topgallant-sails to the 
 wind and steered for- Ascension. This desolate 
 island rises in a nearly perfect cone from the sea, 
 though a near approach shows its surface cracked 
 and broken by various contending forces. It is a 
 mass of lava, cinders, and ashes, broken and jum- 
 bled together. The most curious research of the 
 telescope discovers not a vestige of vegetation : it 
 is a yellow-red mountain against the blue sky. 
 The small British settlement, however, exhibits the 
 striking contrast of a green patch on the burnt soil, 
 with a few neat white houses.
 
 CHAP. VIII. THE GRASSY SEA. 297 
 
 We soon came into the Sargassao, or grassy 
 sea, so called from the surface being wholly 
 covered with sea-weed, so densely packed that you 
 seem to be sailing through a green field ; Pevensey 
 Level is not smoother or more verdant. The weed 
 is wholly of one kind, a small-leaved variety, each 
 plant being a roundish bunch like a large sponge. 
 There is no root, nor the slightest appearance of its 
 ever having been attached to rocks or ground of 
 any kind. Upon this subject I can speak con- 
 fidently, having in the course of a whole morning 
 fished up some hundreds of bunches from the gang- 
 way with a boat-hook. I am therefore confirmed in 
 the belief that this weed is propagated in this par- 
 ticular part of the ocean, and has not been washed 
 there from any coast whatever. That the gulf or 
 other streams may keep it where it is, is probable 
 enough. The interior of the bunches contained 
 small crabs and other marine animals. 
 
 Off the Western Islands it came on to blow 
 furiously from the west for some hours ; then the 
 wind veered round to due east, and, after blowing 
 equally hard for a time, ceased altogether, leaving 
 such a sea as till then I had never witnessed. It
 
 298 LAND AT DOVER. CHAP. VIII. 
 
 was an absolute calm, with the yard-arms rolling in 
 the water. To stand without holding was wholly 
 impossible, and all former experience as to lurches 
 and rolls quite superseded : the vessel was thumped 
 on her bows, stern, and sides all at once, while she 
 shipped seas from all quarters. 
 
 Just within sight of the Land's End a Cowes boat 
 boarded us, and benevolently offered to take six of 
 us to Falmouth for 107. a-piece ! threatening an 
 east wind. We declined this allurement, and 
 landed safely at Dover at six the next morning. 
 
 If there is anything I would advise a man not to 
 do, it is the volunteering to bring home parcels or 
 presents of any kind from persons in foreign parts t<> 
 their friends at home. In an evil hour I had lent 
 myself to this weakness, and was told that "if a 
 very small packet, that would go easily into my 
 pocket, would not be too much trouble, they would 
 really be so much obliged," &c. &c. Of course, I 
 was delighted : no particular pocket was mentioned, 
 so as the packet was very small, most likely it would 
 fit easily into the waistcoat.
 
 CHAP. VIII. BRINGING HOME PRESENTS, &c. 299 
 
 On the very morning of going on board the vessel 
 which was to bring me from Port Louis, a brown 
 paper parcel, curiously tied and sealed, was handed 
 up on deck and delivered to me, with the following 
 letter : 
 
 "DEAR SIR, Mama has availed herself of 
 your kind offer of taking the accompanying small 
 parcel to England. It contains a shawl, and has 
 been packed up with spices to guard against injury 
 from insects on the passage. As we are not quite 
 sure about the duty, or whether this kind of shawl 
 is allowed to pass into England at all, perhaps, if not 
 too much trouble, you would kindly take it out of 
 the paper before you land, and either put it into 
 your pocket or wrap it round your waist. It is a 
 valuable shawl, sent from India by my dear sister, 
 and intended as a present to my aunt in Worcester- 
 shire. Of course, if there should be anything to 
 pay, mama says she will remit the money on your 
 naming the amount. I am desired to say, that as 
 the Custom-house officers frequently examine the 
 luggage a second time on the road to London as 
 Canterbury or Exeter (for we suppose you will 
 not go all round with the ship) it would be better
 
 300 CAUTION AGAINST VOLUNTEERING CHAP. VIII. 
 
 not to take it off till you reach town. With many 
 apologies for all this trouble, and wishing you a 
 pleasant voyage, believe me, with our kind regards, 
 dear sir, very truly your obliged >.'* 
 
 I felt that I was fairly hooked nay, gaffed. The 
 parcel was about the size that a tailor makes up a 
 surtout into. No human pocket ever held such a 
 thing : there are, I believe, remains of a fossil kan- 
 garoo of enormous dimensions who might have 
 stowed it away ; but the only possible chance I had 
 of concealing it was to adopt the alternative of the 
 waist, and travel a preternaturally stout gentleman, 
 probably from Falmouth to London. 
 
 Being out of sight, the parcel had been out of 
 mind during the passage ; but running up to Dover 
 early on a hot June morning, I began to consider 
 upon the responsibility I had taken on myself. 
 Calling the captain into the cabin, I took counsel 
 with him. To my horror I found that that parti- 
 cular kind of shawl was absolutely prohibited ; that 
 it was exceedingly valuable, and would be quite a 
 godsend to the officers. He would not attempt to 
 conceal it certainly not he would risk a fine on the 
 ship. I must either give it up at once, break all my
 
 CHAP. VIII. TO BRING HOME PRESENTS, &c. 301 
 
 promises, and incur eternal disgrace, or land a cor- 
 pulent, and in all probability a convicted, smuggler. 
 
 A false notion of honour induced me to adopt the 
 latter course. With the assistance of the steward, 
 who held the folded shawl tight by one end, I gra- 
 dually wound myself in its folds till I came up to 
 him, and the end was carefully pinned down the 
 back. The compression on that sultry midsummer 
 morning was unpleasant ; but I congratulated my- 
 self that at least some reduction in hulk had been 
 gained. I was hardly swathed before a boat came 
 alongside, and every one was in a hurry to get on 
 shore. But before I could put on the waistcoat it 
 had to be cut all down the back, and the coat would 
 not meet by eight inches : so, to avoid observation, 
 I was forced to put over all a heavy cloth cloak, 
 and in this order we approached the Hotel. 
 
 It is the tritest of all truisms to say that no one is 
 a complete rascal all at once, or that one crime 
 requires others to bolster it up. I was obliged to 
 account for the cloak by an affected dread of cold, 
 which I was very far from feeling to vilify the 
 English climate, and cry up that of the tropics
 
 302 CAUTION AGAINST VOLUNTEERING CHAP. VIII. 
 
 and to counterfeit a shiver, with the perspiration 
 running down my face. 
 
 To feel oneself an object of suspicion is disagree- 
 able enough, independent of the physical incon- 
 venience of eating a hot breakfast at Midsummer 
 while cloaked and shawled for Christmas: but 
 having assumed the character of a valetudinarian, I 
 was forced to go through with it. The chambermaid 
 was not to be trusted to unpin my dress, neither did 
 I feel it safe to throw myself on the mercy of the 
 Boots. I felt myself moving the contemptuous pity 
 of the Dover housemaids as a used-up specimen 
 from the East, and every moment expected to hear 
 the cry of " Stop shawl " as I passed between the 
 hotel and the Custom-house. 
 
 In addition to my personal incumbrance, I had 
 the more open charge of sundry hampers of roots 
 and seeds, and while these were being unpacked 
 and examined I had to sustain the sharp looks of a 
 superintendent and half a dozen officials fellows 
 whose eyes hungered for shawls, and whose fangs I, 
 by anticipation, felt in my wrapper, unrolling me as 
 a curious antiquary would a well-swathed specimen
 
 CHAP. VIII. TO BRING HOME PRESENTS, &c. 303 
 
 of the Pharaohs. Fortune was, however, favour- 
 able to my first I may say only venture in the 
 contraband trade, and I arrived safely with my con- 
 signment in London, after registering vows, for 
 seventy-two miles by a slow coach, that I would 
 never volunteer a good-natured action again as long 
 as I lived. 
 
 THE END. 
 
 PRINTED BY W. CLOWES AND SO.VS, STAMFORD STREET.

 
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