LIBRARY UWVtRSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO 15995 " WIDOW'S WISDOM Copyright, 1909 BY H. M. CA LOWELL Co. Published simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada amlBritith Pottettion* Blectrotyped nd Printed *t THE COLONIAL PRESS: C. H. Slmondi A Co., Boiton, USA. \t.c sod life K ^L- . . J _ . tir\._^ Ig missions, Ji dull A li* Wise^l* 15 a^ sli'i?j (9 rts Amiable It is a good thing to be able to face life with a certain gay philosophy it helps take the sting out of the hard things and gives an added zest to the good things. It is more worth while to discover a new joy or a new beauty in life than to master a science or discover a planet. When we have once loved deeply there is no longer that in our hearts which makes it possible or desirable to love again. Sometimes a woman's reputation for virtue is merely a matter of her having been discreet. It is absurd to talk of making men and women equal it is not in nature and they can never be made so; women are as infinitely above men in some things as men are above women in others. H^re They who have not shed tears have not lived. Very little credit is due the woman who re- mains virtuous who has never had temptations or the opportunities for temptations. The one who deserves the crown is she who resists the besieging of temptations from without and within. H Even a stupid woman when she is in love develops cunning, cleverness and wit, and grows in actual beauty. 10 It is all right to expect joy in the next world - but a better thing is to demand it in this and to go about making your part of it at once. ii Many men think that flattery is the only means by which to win a woman; when, on the contrary, it is appreciation and understand- ing that will break down the barriers to any woman's heart. A woman often falls in love with a man for no other reason than because he loves her. Remember man does not value that which he wins too easily B If it is a pretty woman they call it tempera- ment, if a homely one it's a nasty disposition. D Never think you will make a man admire your rival less by criticising her. Nothing drives him to her quicker, or away from you. On the contrary, praise her admire her until he grows sick of the sound of her virtues. H It is folly to waste energy regretting anything. Let the past go! Use each experience as a stepping stone. 12 Guard your illusions, they are what keep life sweet. Don't imagine there is no delicious fruit because one poor little apple is green and sour! A woman can only love a man whom she believes strong and great and wise and powerful; lie must be master or she secretly despises him; he must be strong enough to crush her to dust and tender enough to melt at a tear. B Don't take anything too seriously; not life nor love nor even yourself. As long as you can laugh, you control the situation; when you can no longer do that, some one else is laughing. B That woman is a fool who says she can win any man she chooses. But she is doubly that who, after having really won a man's love, does not make herself clever enough to keep it. B More men have been captivated by a happy, cheerful disposition than ever were by all the learning in the colleges. Men think women fools because they believe in man's fidelity; while all women know they are forced to believe, to defend their brief day's happiness. They must pretend, even to their own hearts, to save their breaking. M \ It is not wise to be always de- manding vows and promises of It is his nature to hate being bound; usually if the idea were not constantly presented to him he would not be glimpsing his Delectable Mountain in the distance but at his own door step and would stay content beside it. Talent is an asset of but little value unless accompanied by character. D How often the thing we strive for with all our heart and soul and brain we find after all to be Dead Sea Fruit, as it crumbles under our touch. a Have you not noticed that women who abuse men are always those whom men have not found attractive? She confesses to her own lack of power to please. BB In every woman's heart there is a Holy of Holies that is kept for ever closed except to the One, and even that One often fails to discover the exquisite treasures that lie buried under the disguising cloak of a self -depreciating nature. D Every woman must go through her Gethsem- ane alone. IB The most overworked word in the language is " luck " and in spite of the fact that there isn't any such thing. 16 Nothing is easier than to have your own way if you only let a man think he is having his. No man likes to be managed but all men can be if you don't let them suspect it. J A woman who pretends to laugh at love is like a boy who whistles to keep up his courage when he walks alone at night, in the dark. 18 To continue love in marriage requires genius, a well developed sense of humour and a philosophic turn of mind. A fault committed for us we condone but if against us we bitterly condemn. H Much of the milk of human kindness has be- come a very thin, watery looking article that would not nourish one starving infant impulse of human charity. a Why does a man who has been badly treated by one woman seek to be revenged by calling all women bad ? U A man does not love a woman for being a saint and possessing all the virtues; he finds her much more fascinating if she is a charming blend of wisdom and folly, saintliness and wickedness, constancy and fickleness. D Women are less capable of friendship than men, but they are more capable of love. a The woman who regrets she is not a man has failed to realize what a powerful empire she holds sway over; and how many delights and advantages her position has. 20 A woman is always more in love with love than with her lover. It is her idea of him, not the man himself that she adores. And so it often occurs that in absence her love grows deeper and stronger for she remembers him not as he is but as she imagines him. A man who would rather see his loved one dead than unfaithful, does not love that one as much as he loves himself. There would be few marriages declared failures if both men and women would make half the effort to appear attractive, clever and amiable after marriage that they did before. What makes women think so well of love is that it hides their defects in the eyes of men. m Have an interest in life, begin today. Too many live in the yesterdays and tomorrows and their only accumulation is a choice assortment of regrets. 09 Every man dislikes to have the woman with whom he appears in public attract attention by her manner, voice or any eccentricity. m Do not fear a quarrel with your lover, if not too frequent; it will add variety and, if you are observant, you may learn many things - besides. a shower always sweetens the air. 22 Women are often blamed for inconsistency and fickleness by men whom nothing in the world would bore like unvarying monotony. 2 3 There never was a man so frigid, austere and hard hearted that he could not be moved by a woman's love, tenderness and petting. s. A short absence quickens love a long absence kills it. Place most confidence in the lover who has most difficulty in telling his love. People are masters of servants in proportion to their self-control. oa In men's lives there is a period (when they are very young) when they believe no woman can resist them. As a rule men are about forty before they begin to be really interesting. When you are in love you deserve no credit for being faithful. Faithfulness becomes a virtue only when it becomes a duty. a Matrimony is a science and will only work out a success when thoroughly understood. 24 A woman will always forgive an offence from a man who pleads as his excuse, his uncon- trollable love for her. A woman who finds she has worshipped an idol of clay should not conclude that her expe- rience is wholly bitter for she has known the sweetness and ecstasy of loving, which is always greater than that of being loved. ID You will never have power until you have known, and are entirely free, from the power of another ; then you have come into your strength and have only yourself to blame if it does not bring you compensation. Do not try to be perfect. If you should suc- ceed you would become an insufferable bore. Beware of the person who is always enumer- ating their virtues to you. They never pos- sess the qualities they boast of. The two most important things that a man should look for in selecting a wife are a sense of humour and the gift of sympathy. BB Women are often more attracted by audacity than by sincerity. 26 A woman who de- clares that real love comes but once in life has had limited oppor- tunities and more certainly, limited at- tractions. 27 Every woman who wishes to keep her hus- band should have a well filled storeroom where- from, at demand, she can draw tact, sympathy, patience, love, flattery, coquetry and pray for the gift to know when to be silent. H All women should have some gentlemanly qualities as well as womanly ones if their characters are to be wholly admirable. Most often the man who speaks ill of women is not the only one who has been badly treated by them but the one who has treated them badly. na Beware of a poetical lover or a brilliant lover - the poetical one is apt to be fickle the brilliant one insincere. u Remember, there is no man however stony and crabbed his nature, but likes to be praised and loved and petted. H Love is not always the basis of the happiest marriages. Friendship has sometimes proven a firmer foundation. 28 The experience that does not make us better makes us worse. Don't worry about the wickedness and the degeneracy of the world it isn't your world it will go on just the same whether you like it or not, whether you live or die. Just watch the play and be as happy as you can. Man is by nature inconstant; do not alarm him by demanding that he promise to love you for ever laugh and say " only until to- morrow " and the tomorrow when he wants his release is not apt to come. H There is much moaning because husbands do not remain faithful lovers and it is usually because as wives, women forget to be sweet- hearts, too. u With man, advancing years renders him interesting and attractive; with woman, it is the knell of all her hopes and Joy of Life. BD Don't place too much faith in the possibilities of love in a cottage. The mental and physical activity necessary to make both ends meet, is apt to make the little god Love, limp, weeping, away. 3 Avoid perfect people and angels of all sorts they are very dull. Eternal vigilance is the price you must pay for love and happiness. Do not imagine be- cause you have won love you cannot lose it. It is easy to win and the hardest thing in the world to keep. Remember, other women laugh at you for bemoaning your fate for having lost something you could easily have kept. You will find that which you look for in this world whether it is virtue or wickedness. Women pretend to be furious because men pursue them; yet are they not always saying " Catch me if you can? " Tell a woman she is the most fascinating and irresistible one you have ever met, and she is yours. a First love is sweet and they say nothing after is ever quite the same; which may be true, but much better as substance is to the shadow. IB A suspicious person is one that should be watched. 32 It is wasted time to reason with your heart. If your head rules it was never really love. If your heart rules, it was love and your head could never have helped it. 33 Don't let it break your heart when you find the man you thought a little candy George Washington is in reality a wooden headed Ananias they are all like that. The person who has never made a fool of him- self over some one has missed a good deal in life. The Joy of Life was meant for ycu. If you have missed it, be sure it is waiting for ycu some where. Sweep and garnish and fill with sweet lavender a dwelling place for Happiness. Banish bitterness and despair, believe in people, most of all in yourself. Put on your helnet which, as you are a woman, is a crown of roses, burnish the sword and shield that Mother Eve bequeathed you go forth and bring it in laughing surrender to your feet. Women do not lack ability, they lack the power of concentration and perseverance. BB Falling in love is a matter of propinquity, almost any man could marry any money, given propitious opportunity. 34 It is only when your heart has lived its life that you are capable of using and profiting by your powers of observa- tion. As long as you a heart it will keep eyes blindfolded. 35 Each new experience may mean lost illu- sions; but you can make it mean also a fuller capacity for meeting life's problems. Women are very much given to speaking the truth, but not the whole truth. B) Most men make a woman either a drudge or a plaything rarely an equal and a comrade. ffl Be a philosopher! Don't let the hard things of life hurt too much! Make every experience add to your wisdom and increase your capacity for happiness. Men who think women are angels do not know them well; but men who think them devils, do not know them at all. H It is far better to lose the respect of all the world than your own self-respect. TVT One's success is usually more accurately measured by one's enemies than by one's friends. 36 Being rich does not lie so much in what you actually possess, as in what you can do with- out. 37 There is for each of us, somewhere awaiting, a love that is perfect. We shall know shall be sure when we have found it. ffl It is a greater test of character to stand success well than to stand failure well. Stagnation is often induced by the habit of repression. avi It seems to be only the busy people in this world who ever find time to do things. They are the ones who always assume the extra burdens most willingly. H Idleness is the most exhaustive of all employ- ments. Real rest is to be found in a change of activity, not a cessation. U We never appreciate the value of a thing that is gained without the expenditure of effort either mental or physical. na The soul cannot be developed except through great love. 38 A woman's love takes the form of worship, and for her there is no greater pain than that she suffers when she knows she must tear down the altars she has builded in her heart where she has burned incense to one unworthy. The much lauded first love is usually but a poor weak article compared with last love. One's capacity increases with experience. Nl The man or woman, who, day after day, year after year, faces the long drawn out agony of a misfit marriage performs a feat of courage incomparably greater than the hero who faces battle or sudden death. u You will never regret putting the best meaning on the act of others; nor will you be sorry for stopping your ears to gossip and being generous to your enemies. H One successful assault weakens our position and gives a foothold to our assailant from which to make another and yet more successful assault. HI It requires as much effort to hold as to acquire ; therefore, the person into whose lap Fortune flings her gifts, is rarely able to keep them. It isn't opportunities that we lack in this world ; but the ability to see them. 40 Don't be too sorry for yourself or im- agine life is over be- cause you have a heartache. It is im- possible to know real joy until you have known real pain. It is a mistake to be always looking so far ahead that you cannot see what is going on now. D It is difficult to say which makes the greater mistake ; the one who believes everything or the one who believes nothing. Love is well enough when it is young a tender flexible thing that can be played with or put aside when you grow weary of its de- mands and importunities; but when it has grown strong and powerful it is a terrible thing. You can no longer control it ; it rules you utterly ; makes you fear and cringe or arms you with the desperation to do terrible things then strangles you to death in its hold. The one way to escape its thraldom is to chloroform it before it is grown up. When there is no other compensation re- member there is always this that nothing lasts for ever. D The mania some people have for handling bout the naked truth, not even veiled with the traditional fig leaf, is often embarrassing. 42 frit Virtue comes very easy to those who possess no attractions. I 43 " Take the goods the gods provide." But by some oversight there seems to have been no provision made for some of us. Pleasures increase and sorrows decrease when shared by others. B Of course you may be on the road to success but headed in the wrong direction. ffl How many women neglect their talents and fritter away their lives on trivialities, expending an energy that, rightly directed, would develop them to their fullest capacity. IB Don't imagine that marriage is the aim and end of existence. It is only the beginning - too many women begin to corrode with rust when the honeymoon is over. (0 Falling in love is much like a contagious disease; if you pull through the first attack, with each successive seizure thereafter, the danger lessens until you are finally immune. 44 Nothing is impossible to a woman who is clever and pretty. 45 In marriage select a husband for what he is not rather than for what he is. Ml Never run after any one or anything. If you will run, let it be away from them. D It is a mistake for a woman to think that every man that makes love to her is in love with her. He is often merely practising to keep up his reputation for gallantry and expects her to know the rules of the same or refuse to engage in the sport. ID If you desire anything sufficiently, it will be yours. ffl There will always remain the three most desirable things that all the riches of the world cannot buy ; Love, Youth and Genius but it will buy a fairly good substitute. H If you want to be happy, be a Cheerful Phi- losopher! Learn how to live and how to enjoy life without expecting too much from your friends. 46 / Women should cultivate charm, for it will survive when beauty is dead. \ Have you ever noticed, you never see a pretty fascinating woman wishing she were a man? Men and women who are philosophers are those whose sensibilities have been burned out by the fires of a great experience and whose wisdom is great enough to keep them from the r> desire to be burned again. 49 It is a great heart which is too rilled with sweetness to hold the memory of a wrong. HB A woman is wise only when she follows her instinct, not her reason. H Women should know that the faithfulness of their husbands depends largely upon their own cleverness. n How wearing it must be to have to live up to the reputation for a beauty or a wit. When a woman persists in mentioning a certain man's name, there is little doubt as to the nature of her sentiments. B To retain your husband's love it is not a ques- tion of how to remain beautiful but how to remain interesting. a A woman is not logical and she refuses to listen to reason because she can see no reason for it. 5 Listen to a man's protestations if you will and thereby learn to know men ; but believe them at your peril; for what they swear and mean today, they swear and mean tomorrow but to another woman. 51 Who ever loved a woman who was consistent ! It is the unexpected that charms. u Often repentance is only deep enough to last until the next strong temptation comes. A look often accomplishes more than the most eloquent speech. H Repentance is usually a matter of having been found out it rarely occurs before. 00 Cultivate the blissful philosophy to feel and enjoy the present hour don't try to analyze or think about it. Hi * Often a woman's sole reason for accepting a man in marriage is the fear that no one else will ask her. Do not imagine in contemplating married couples that the man was necessarily her choice in the world. Don't regret an experience, make each one useful. 52 No one is thoroughly honest; each is trying to get more than they , give. / Woiran sends iorth all her treasure on ad- venture; she freights her cargo with love, hope and happiness and then throws in for ballast her life and soul. If it is wrecked, all is lost. B We always credit with great discernment and excellent judgment the person who finds us beautiful and clever. A woman's charity usually takes the form of church fairs, charity balls and the making of impossible flannel garments for little heathens in the tropics; while the sweetest charity of helping weaker sisters keep the shining path is shunned as something contaminating. If you would have love lavished upon you learn to be independent of it. D Of all things there is nothing so dead as dead love. n Women prefer having any other quality criticised than their wit and beauty; men than their courage and power to captivate. 54 If you want to keep love, fasten it with a gossamer thread, not a chain of iron. In love it is the beginning that most delights one. Therefore one is not surprised that some make so many beginnings. Most people turn to God only when the Devil has exhausted all their possibilities and no longer takes an interest in them. HB The unfair laws of society makes a woman have to submit to a cut from a woman who, in reality, is not fit to touch the hem of her garment. Vwri A person without imagination makes a poor lover, for that is really all there is to love. ' Don't borrow trouble lend it. Women know by nature how to disguise their emotions. Men only by experience. D Often men sow seeds of the knowledge of love and other men harvest. 56 A loving woman can make a saint and a demi- god out of what we plainly see is very ordinary material. 57 We always have a tender spot in our heart for our first love. We feel so grateful to them for not having married us. IB Some men take a distinct pleasure in plowing up the soul of a woman merely to see the quiver- ing sensibilities bleed and to feel their own brutal power. D Men should know that when they attack a fort they should storm it. Women find it hard to resist a tempestuous wooing. B A renowned sage advises temperance in love Absurd! Impossible! He does not know the meaning of the word! If it is love it is a tempest, a torrent and overwhelms any halting consideration of wisdom. It gives all and takes all. D The keynote of love is sacrifice. Real love is only happy in giving. D A beautiful woman who lacks fascination is like a beautiful flower that lacks perfume. 58 t A man admires an intelligent woman, but she is rarely the one he loves ; for to the woman he loves he wants to be a tower of strength and wisdom. 59 In all the disappointments of life, with all their degrees of bitterness, there is never one without its compensation. Often we are too blinded by grief or rage to see it, but if we look, it is there they are always side by side and by cultivation may blossom into a rarer treasure than your lost Heart's Desire. IB Even Martin Luther said, " Who loves not woman, wine and song remains a fool his whole life long." And men have willingly taken heed of his wise precept and have done all in their power to keep from being that particular kind of a fool, at any rate. Love expands, develops and beautifies woman as the sun on ripening fruit. n There is nothing as effective for retaining a woman's youth as an occasional new love affair. There are only two unpardonable sins. One is being stupid and the other offending one's sense of delicacy. 60 A cynic is what a person is called who has the genius to see things as they really are. Not all natures are capable of great love, and those who are not, cannot comprehend the heights or depths reached by those who are. Those who expect other people to make their happiness are for ever doomed to see it lie beyond their reach. H Laugh at the people who criticise you, they are only envious. Who wouldn't rather be called " Sly Minx " than " Poor Thing ? " 00 It is man's nature to wish to be a conqueror and woman's to surrender; but remember that the harder it is to take a citadel the more carefully it is guarded and more keenly appreciated. Even though she is longing to capitulate, a wise woman is never too easily or quickly won. H) Woman's virtue is in greater danger from opportunity than from desire. To let a man be absolutely certain of you is a mistake no daughter of Eve should ever be fool- ish enough to commit. 62 MCNOCfr Don't be so foolish as to wish to cultivate your mem- ory; it is your forgettery that you will most need in life. A little jealousy feeds love, while much jealousy kills it. svi Often the most erring women have beautiful qualities of soul, and their influence for good is incomparably greater than their cold, self- centered sisters whose virtue is unquestioned but whose natures repel rather than attract. IB With women love is the supreme motive of life with men, never. Man never sacrifices his ambition, his career; but a woman glories in any sacrifice, the greater, the more eagerly, when she loves. n A man is always delighted to have his wife admired by others, so long as she does not show an equal delight. IB Even the best of women cannot help feeling flattered when a man commits a sin because of love for her. Isn't it a pity that wicked people are apt to be so much more entertaining and attractive than the very good ones? 64 Love is a fragile flower which can be revived by a sigh killed by a breath. There is only one thing in woman that Time leaves untouched, and that is her vanity. There is no standing still. All things must increase or decrease; be it love, power, intel- lect or wisdom and of all, that is most true of love. Married life will be happy only on one condi- tion: that the man is manly and the woman, womanly. D What a terrible thing to have missed love! How many lives fade and pass out without having known the exquisite joy and sorrow, the pain and rapture of great love. They have endured life not lived it. Don't fall into the habit of stagnation. There is danger of taking root and turning into a vege- table fill every moment to its capacity with an interest in life. H Happiness and success in life depend more on one's reputation than on one's conduct. Fickleness is a virtue ! Nothing is so tiresome as the word for ever! One would tire of the Angel Gabriel himself if one saw him every morning at breakfast. IB Woman in the abstract is a fool; and exists chiefly to demonstrate to man the Lord's sense of humour. 68 When a woman grants the first favour, the man has only to wait. Experience is a good teacher if it is your own experience, no one's else will do. Counsel is of small benefit compared with the hard knocks of life. n Poets, artists and other geniuses of that class, whose imagination is the motif of their gift, should not be criticised for fickleness; their natures are so various that they exhaust the usual woman's potentialities for attraction in a short time. If you want to be happy you must first learn to be blind, deaf and even dumb on occasion. m All women should be chloroformed who are no longer able to love or inspire love. D Impossible opportunity is what saves the virtue of many people. Don't hate any one or any thing. If you could only realize how much you hurt your- self and how not at all any one else, you would never waste energy in that futile manner. 70 Obstacles are not the hindrances, but the promoters of love. With some, their illusions are like the sun; when they are gone, the world itself is hidden in blackness. BB Money does not buy happiness ; but it buys a pretty good substitute when it provides us with the means to divert the mind from thinking. The gift of a remarkable ability for getting out of scrapes is a monstrous boulder in the path of virtue. n The heart of a flirt is sometimes tender enough, and is often a happy resting place for even an exacting man's heart for Nature has given her a capacity that argues well for his happiness, if only he convinces her of his mastery. Take all possible for the present moment; it is really all you have. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is tomorrow therefore doubtiul and remember a pleasure postponed is a pleasure lost. KB A kiss often teaches much. Where wisdom is bliss 'tis folly to be ignorant. 72 When a woman falls it is most often because of her desire to please the one she loves not because of her own desire. 73 / More men have been charmed by varying moods by flashing changes and retracted sur- renders, than ever were by a smothering deluge of unchanging love and devotion. BB Some women seem to take this world for a kitchen, and see nothing beyond its walls ; others take it for a convent; some find it a gorgeous theatre where there is always a change of bill and a brilliant audience; while the wise ones see it a perfumed garden where they may pluck from it at will a wonderful Rose of Love a garden where blooms the flowers of Heart's Desire and at night is bathed in a mist of Dreams Come True. n Most people would rather be given criticism than indifference. IB Women are enthusiasts, extremists, and are capable of great heroism if their heart or their vanity is appealed to not their reason. A man or a woman who boasts of their con- quests are almost always those who are no longer able to make any. 74 Time is a great healer and will finally fade the greatest pain into a tender memory. If you are ill and melancholy, lock yourself in a double barred room for iear you may be tempted to inflict yourself on some one who is struggling to dispose of a large consignment of the same commodity. H Be sure there is no person however good, but has their bad streak; and no person how- ever bad, but has many good ones. H Isn't it amusing how many men complain of their own poor judgment! They are the active agents in matrimony, but when their selection turns out unsatisfactory, blame any one but themselves. n That woman who permits a man to be abso- lutely sure of her has removed the supports from her house of cards. IB Beware of the woman who is always ready to blacken the character of another. She is usually doing it to distract attention from her own. 76 Forbidden fruit is dear it is not worth the price asked for it. 77 There is no love however great that does not have its days of disillusionment and disappoint- ment, but if it has been real love it is never really forgotten. A tenderness survives that illumines the memories of past blissful hours with a mystic glow that life's realities can never wholly quench. D A man grows very very tired of a woman who is monotonously sweet of temper, smiling of face and angelic of heart. A bit of a vixen seems a relief and does not make him feel so ashamed of his own shortcomings. S3 The education that experience gives the heart usually incapacitates it for holding illusions. H Act on the first advice of a woman, not on the second. B) It is absence that proves love. BB She who is never guilty of follies is not so wise as she imagines. 78 Even though the past experience may have been bitter, the prospect of a new one always fascinates. As long as your loved one is occupied do not worry about his faithfulness. 00 Many find happiness elusive, always lying beyond their reach. But it is better to be always travelling toward the Elysian Vale than ever to arrive and find it actually not there. 10 To be overestimated is the only real appre- ciation. u It is a wise woman who never lets a man know she is wiser than he. BB When an old coquette has turned her back on the follies of this world, how intolerant she is of laughing Youth who has just begun inves- tigating. B Do what she will a woman cannot escape the consequences of breaking the laws of so- ciety. D The person we feel the bitterest towards, is the one we have wronged the most. 80 Aim at something. Be sure that some one be- lieves in you. Use that for the first stepping-stone and mount to any height you desire. Make up your mind that you get nothing in this world that you do not pay for. Consider the thing you desire and the price you must pay; if it is worth it, pay and enjoy, and don't cry over your bargain. Sometimes it seems at first that you are getting something for noth- ing but be sure that you never do that will be, perchance, the thing you pay most dearly for. B Love will die sooner from surfeit than from starvation. ID It is the multiplied, oft recurring little wounds that kill love not the great one. H The saddest thing in the world is to hear one say "I have lost my illusions." The only way to keep from being disappointed is not to expect things ; then what you get from the world comes as a delightful surprise and your cheerful view of life is ten fold increased. Gratitude will increase friendship; but is apt to kill love. 82 Happiness in marriage is a thing that can be retained if the avenues for its escape are care- fully guarded. It is an existence which is apt to become monotonous if one is not always on the alert to discover new fuel by which the flame may be kept burning, therefore, it is wiser not to be too profligate of your ardour in the beginning lest surfeit cause ennui. When there are no more mysteries or delicious surprises the little god grows dejected and discouraged. Whatever type of a wo- man a man marries he is apt to spend the rest of his life wishing he had chosen a different kind. He wants a variety of personalities to fill a variety of needs of his many sided nature. The difficulty being that women are apt to think one type of individ- uality is sufficient when the fact is he demands a com- bination of all the types to minister to his varying moods. A wise woman cultivates the art of listening. It is often a more fascinating accomplishment than that of talking well. It is a positive relief and really a virtue to be a bit devilish at times it gets on one's nerves always balancing a halo on the back of one's head. B If a man succeeds in interesting a woman it is only a short step before he has won more. u Women will suffice women for friends in the every-day events of life; but in a great crisis it is only the friendship of a man that will sustain her. H Those who know women best, love them most. 86