' <2 [ieve Me Xantippe ERICK BALLARD ,,., )f Californ: Regional ' Facility SAMUEL FRENCH, 25 West 45th St., New Yor ( THE FAMILY UPSTAIRS Comedy of American life in 3 acts. By Harry Delf. Produced originally by Sam H. Harris at the Gaiety Theatre, New York. 4 males, j females, i interior. Mod- ern costumes. Joe Heller is a street-car inspector on $42.50 a week. Louise is liti eldest Daughter, an office worker, now aged twenty-one who hasn't managed to land a husband yet. Her mother's one anxiety i to get her properly married, while father's ambition is to get his son, Willie, to work. Sister Annabelle, the "kid sister" of the family, has one passion, and that is getting out of doing her piano lessons. It is a typical average American home that we look into: Annabelle practising on the tin-panny piano, Willie making a tele- phone date with a girl friend, father coming home from work in hii uniform, fagged out, mother bossing, Annabelle'f playing, every- one wanting dinner, and so forth. Charles Grant comes to call on Louise and after embarrassed introductions all around, he is left alone with her. They are in love with each other, and before the evening is out they are engaged. But mother puts her finger into the domestic pie. She tells the neighbors what a wonderful fellow Louise ha won and that he is a big banker (in reality he is making $40 a week). And the game of bluff goes on. Having heard all t'lJs "propaganda," Grant begins to wonder what sort of a family he is getting into. There is an unhappy half-hour when the enirr. j.ement leems to be off, and then Grant's mother appears on the scene Mrs. Grant is just the bluffer that Mrs. Heller is, and both see through all the bluffs and discount them. Everything ends happily. (Royalty, twenty-five dollars.) PRICE 75 CENTS. A FULL HOUSE A farcical comedy in 3 acts. By Fred Jackson. 7 males, 7 females, i interior scene. Modern costumes. Imagine a reckless and wealthy youth who writes ardent love letters, an attorney brother-in-law who steals them and then gets his hand bag mixed up with the grip of a burglar who has just stolen a valuable necklace from the mother of the indiscreet youth, and the efforts of the crook to recover his plunder, as incidents in the story of a play in which the swiftness of the action never halts for an instant. Not only are the situations screamingly funny but the lines themselves hold a fund of humor. "Uncorks a laugh a second." N. Y. Press. "Hustling, bustling, reckless fun." N. Y. American. (Royalty, twenty-five dollars.) PRICE 7$ CENTS. Believe Me, Xantippe A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS BY FREDERICK BALLARD COPYRIGHTED U. S. A. AND GREAT BRITAIN BY J. F. BALLARD COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY SAMUEL FRENCH ALL RIGHTS RESERVED CAUTION : Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE, being fully pro- tected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and anyone presenting the play without the consent of the author or his authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Applications for the amateur acting rights must be made to SAMUEL FRENCH, 25 West 45th Street, New York. Applications for the professional acting rights must be made to the AMERICAN PLAY COMPANY, 33 West 42d Street, New York. NEW YORK SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHER 25 WEST 45TH STREET ] LONDON SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. 26 SOUTHAMPTON STREET STRAND BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance, representation, produc- tion, recitation, or public reading, or radio broadcasting may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York. This play may be presented by amateurs upon payment of a royalty of Twenty-Five Dollars for each perform- ance, payable to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, one week before the date when the play is given. Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play : "Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French of New York." Attention is called to the penalty provided by law for any infringement of the author's rights, as follows. "SECTION 4966: Any person publicly performing or rep- resenting any dramatic or musical composition for which copyright has been obtained, without the consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for damages thereof, such damages, in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not less than one hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If the unlawful performance and representation be wilful and for profit, such person or persons shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be im- prisoned for a period not exceeding one year." -U. S. Revised Statutes : Title 60, Chap. 3. TO WILLSIE AND DAVID 2115029 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE THE ORIGINAL CAST As produced at The Thirty-Ninth Street Theatre, New York City. GEORGE MACFARLAND Mr. John Barrymore ARTHUR SOLE Mr. Alonzo Price THORNTON BROWN Mr. Henry Hull " BUCK " KAMMAN Mr. Theodore Roberts " SIMP " GALLOWAY Mr. Frank Campeau " WRENN " RIGLEY Mr. Al. Roberts WILLIAM Mr. M. Tello Webb MARTHA Mr. Alpha Beyers VIOLET Miss Katherine Harris DOLLY KAMMAN Miss Mary Young CHARACTERS GEORGE MACFARLAND Of New York THORNTON BROWN His friend WILLIAM MacFarland's Valet ARTHUR SOLE Detective " BUCK " KAMMAN A Colorado Sheriff " WRENN " His jailer " SIMP " KALLOWAY A desperado DOLLY KAMMAN Buck's daughter MARTHA Her aunt VIOLET Simp's friend PLACE: New York and Colorado TIME : The present 5 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ACT I. Oct. 7th. MacFarland's apartments in New York. ACT II. Sept. 3oth, the following year. A hunting shack in southwestern Colorado. ACT III. Two days later. The County Jail at Delta, Colorado. ACT IV. Four days later. The same. Believe Me, Xantippe ACT I SCENE: GEORGE MACFARLAND'S bachelor apart- ments at Sherry's, New York City. A well furnished room with two entrances L. 3, door leading to bedroom; rear R., door leading to vestibule. L. 2, fireplace. R. 2, window. Table down center. Telephone desk, near R. 2, window. The room is discovered, lighted. There is a slight pause, then MACFARLAND. (Angrily, off L. 3) William! (Enter WILLIAM, the valet, from vestibule, rear door R. c. Sharply} William! WILLIAM. (Deliberately, as he gazes towards L. 3) Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. (Angrily) Where are my shirt- studs ? WILLIAM. The burglars stole them, sir. MACFARLAND. (Savagely) Hang the burglars! WILLIAM. Yes, sir, I would if I could catch them, sir. (Starts to exit) MACFARLAND. (Angrily) William! WILLIAM. (Re-entering) Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. Where is Minerva? WILLIAM. Who? MACFARLAND. (Loud and angry) My cameo stick-pin. WILLIAM. The burglars got that, too, sir. MACFARLAND. (Hotly) I'll be is there any- thing the burglars didn't get? 7 8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE WILLIAM. (Deliberately, as before) Not that I know of, sir. (Door-bell rings.) MACFARLAND. (Angrily) Answer the bell! Thank the Lord they didn't. get that. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. (Sarcastically, as WILLIAM is exiting) It's probably a policeman coming to ex- plain why he hasn't caught the burglars. (Exit WIL- LIAM, rear I.) (BROWN enters, rear D. followed by WILLIAM. BROWN is a well-dressed lawyer of thirty.) BROWN. Mr. MacFarland in? WILLIAM. He's dressing, sir. (BROWN gives hat and stick to WILLIAM who exits rear.) BROWN. (Calling off L. jovially) Hello, George ! MACFARLAND. (Off-stage, somewhat grouchily) Who's that? BROWN. Thornt. (Enter MACFARLAND, L. 3. MACFARLAND is a wealthy young bachelor good looking, likable. Wear's a loose dressing gown.) MACFARLAND. Hello, Thornt! (Crosses R. to window, kneels and begins looking on floor for cameo pin crawls around on knees") BROWN. What are you looking for? MACFARLAND. Minerva. The burglars took her. BROWN. Then what's the use of looking for her? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 9 MACFARLAND. They might have dropped her as they crawled through this window. BROWN. Nonsense ! MACFARLAND. (Testily) Burglars have been known to drop things, hawn't they? BROWN. Have the officers caught them yet? MACFARLAND. (Rising) No, and they never will, not in a hundred years ! (He takes cigar from box on table, bites end off angrily and lights cigar) BROWN. (Who has been watching him, amused, from in front of fireplace) Why this sudden effu- sion of optimism? MACFARLAND. (R. glancing at him, sharply) Cut the comedy. BROWN. How much of it? MACFARLAND. All of it! (He paces R. toward telephone table) BROWN. (Dryly) Aren't you well? MACFARLAND. I'm sore. BROWN. Where ? MACFARLAND. (Pacing L., front) All over. BROWN. You must have been here when the burglars arrived. MACFARLAND. (Glancing at him sharply, from R.) I wish I had been. I would have caught them. (Paces R. angrily) BROWN. Is it too late now? MACFARLAND. It wouldn't be if there were any policemen in New York. BROWN. (Puzzled, surprised) Any policemen? MACFARLAND. (Sits R. c.) That's what I said. BROWN. The streets are full of them. I passed ten as I came up here. MACFARLAND. (Going towards him, from lower R.) You mean you passed ten uniforms. I'm talk- ing about policemen officers of the law -things that have brains and use them. BROWN. Now look here, George. Simply because io BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE the police haven't captured the burglars who robbed this apartment MACFARLAND. It isn't just this apartment; it's all apartments. They never catch the burglars. They're a bunch of sleepy overfed house-cats. All of them. BROWN. George, I'm a lawyer and the police are my best friends. MACFARLAND. I don't care what you are. They are about as intelligent as a soft-shell crab. Be- lieve me, Xantippe, a soft-shell crab! BROWN. Then why don't you hire a detective? MACFARLAND. They're worse than the police. (Sits R. c.) Thornt, the rank and file of detectives in this country are a bunch of fakers. (With sup- pressed anger crossing to BROWN) Do you want me to tell you what's the matter with the United States ? BROWN. (Somewhat sarcastically) I suppose it's the detectives. MACFARLAND. Not altogether. BROWN. The police, then. MACFARLAND. They help, but BROWN. But what? MACFARLAND. The great arm of the law the thing that reaches out and seizes criminals and drags them into the courts the great arm of the law in this country is paralyzed. BROWN. (Challengingly) Is it? MACFARLAND. That's what I said ! Not only the arm itself but the fingers of the arm (Holding out fingers of right hand and turning them down one by one during following) Police, detectives, sheriffs, deputy sheriffs, town marshals. No good, absolutely no good! BROWN. (Dryly) That's what you think. MACFARLAND. (Hotly and aggressively) All right, then why is it that every time the arm reaches out to get a criminal it gets left? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 11 BROWN. It doesn't. It gets the criminal. MACFARLAND. It does like BROWN. Our penitentaries are pretty well filled, aren't they? MACFARLAND. (Leveling finger at him) Why? Because criminals are like all other professional men. There are bound to be a few blockheads among them ; and the blockheads get caught. BROWN. And only the blockheads, I suppose? MACFARLAND. If a crook isn't a blockhead, there's no more danger of his being caught than there is of a whale being crushed to death by a Jelly-fish. I tell you, Thornt, a man of average intelligence and a little common sense can commit crime day in and day out in this country and get away with it. (BROWN laughs heartily) You don't believe me, do you? BROWN. I certainly do not. MACFARLAND. Why, confound it, Thornt, even you who could never keep away from anything in your life, you could keep away from the officers of the law. BROWN. You couldn't. MACFARLAND. (Quickly and defiantly) I couldn't, eh? How much will you bet I couldn't? BROWN. (Somewhat impatient with him. Rises) If you keep on talking, George, something interest- ing is going to happen. MACFARLAND. (Hotly) How much will you bet that I can't dodge every officer in this country? BROWN. (Dryly) How many of them? MACFARLAND. All of them. Detectives! Police! Sheriffs! Deputy Sheriffs! All of them! How much will you bet ? BROWN. How long can you dodge them? MACFARLAND. A week, a month, a year any- thing you like. I haven't anything to do. 12 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE BROWN. How will you prove you can dodge them? MACFARLAND. By doing it. I'll fake up a crime and get the officers on my trail. Then I'll show you what a man with a little common sense can do when the law tries to get him. BROWN. (Frowning, gravely) For how long did you say ? MACFARLAND. A year! BROWN. A year is a long time, George. MACFARLAND. I have ten thousand dollars that says I can do it. BROWN. (After pause, during which he studies MACFARLAND) Are you in earnest? MACFARLAND. Just to prove I'm in earnest, I'll give you odds of two to one. BROWN. George, I never took advantage of a monomaniac before, but I'm going to take advantage of one now. MACFARLAND. All right, sir. (Jerks check-book from desk R. and slaps it on R. end of table) BROWN. (Calmly taking out check-book. He is now L. end of table) Ten thousand? MACFARLAND. That's what I said. BROWN. (Taking fountain pen from vest pocket as MACFARLAND takes his) Two to one? MACFARLAND. (Jerking back chair from table) Two to one ! (He drops into chair and begins to write check rapidly. BROWN calmly seats himself L. of table) BROWN. (As he writes check calmly) I am going to teach you a lesson, George. MACFARLAND. (Quickly) And I'm going to teach you one. (As he blots check by noisily pound- ing blotter with fist) Don't you want to make it twenty thousand instead of ten ? BROWN. (As he blots his check carefully) For your sake, no! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 13 MACFARLAND. Never mind me. I can spare it. BROWN. Very well, then. MACFARLAND. (Eagerly) You'll take it? BROWN. No, but a friend of mine will. MACFARLAND^ (Rapidly) Who? Get him. Quick. Who is he? BROWN. Arthur Sole. MACFARLAND. Shoeman ? BROWN. Detective. MACFARLAND. Burns or Pinkerton? BROWN. Neither. He has a company of his own. MACFARLAND. Great ! BROWN. (Rising) I shall ask him to come right over. MACFARLAND. Do! The sooner he comes, the sooner I can get started on my little twelve month marathon. BROWN. (As he crosses to 'phone table) It wont be twelve months. MACFARLAND. It won't, eh ? BROWN. (As he picks up 'phone) No. It'll be about twenty-four hours. MACFARLAND. (Defiantly, as he takes fresh cigar from box c.) Will it! (During the follow- ing, he lights cigar and smokes it) BROWN. (In 'phone) Plaza 9087 Yes (Imita- tion) 9087 if you please Hello 9087 Plaza? Mr. Sole, please Arthur? This is Thornt. A friend of mine has a foolish notion lodging in one of his brain cells, Art, and I want you to help me get it out Come over and I'll explain George MacFarland's suite at Sherry's Good-bye. (To MACFARLAND as he hangs up receiver) He will be right over. MACFARLAND. (Taking out fountain pen again) All right! I'll have that ten thousand waiting for him, believe me (Pause, opens check-book and prepares to write second check. BROWN, meanwhile, I 4 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE has placed 'phone on table, and during following, crosses to fireplace) BROWN. George, you have convinced me of one thing. MACFARLAND. I'm glad of that. What is it? BROWN. Either you need medical attention or you are in love. MACFARLAND. I never felt better in my life and there isn't a woman in New York I would look at. BROWN. (Lighting a cigarette) You talk as if you were immune. MACFARLAND. No No man's immune to falling in love, but the woman who annexes my name must have brains. BROWN. You mean a college degree? MACFARLAND. I mean brains Sometimes you find them with a college degree. (Abandoning his aggressiveness and assuming a confidential, though 'still emphatic air. Sits R. of table) What I admire in a woman, Thornt and what my wife must have is the ability to think for herself she's got to have that little something we call life vivacity, alertness you know. Not this giddiness you see on the beaches, or the tee-hee ha-ha of the debutante. It has got to be the real article. L-i--f-e and B-r-a-i-w-s. BROWN. You wouldn't know her if you saw her. MACFARLAND. Not at first sight, maybe, but I would soon find her out. I have the reputation of being a pretty clever man, even if I am called a rich idler. But, believe me, Xantippe ! when I pit myself against the future Mrs. MacFarland, she is going to make me feel about as insignificant as a mosquito on the brow of the Goddess of Liberty. If she doesn't, she won't be Mrs. MacFarland, that's all. BROWN. And if she does MACFARLAND. She will be Mrs. MacFarland in spite of high-tide or hell. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 15 (Door-bell rings in a peculiar way.) BROWN. (Rising} There's Sole now. MACFARLAND. (As WILLIAM enters from door L.) How can you tell? BROWN. (As WILLIAM goes to rear door) The way he rings. (WILLIAM opens door at rear and stands. Enter ARTHUR SOLE. SOLE is a detective tall, slender, stern' face, quiet manners. Forty-five. BROWN salutes him familiarly. WILLIAM closes door behind SOLE) Arthur, I want you to meet my friend, MacFarland. SOLE. (Deliberately, to MACFARLAND as they shake hands) Are you the gentleman who has the notion lodged under your brain cell? BROWN. (As MACFARLAND offers SOLE cigar- bo.r) Yes, he thinks that every officer of the law in the United States is a jelly-fish. MACFARLAND. (To BROWN) I didn't say jelly- fish I said a soft-shell crab. (To SOLE) Have a cigar. (To BROWN, as SOLE takes cigar) See, they take anything. SOLE. (Plectsantly , to MACFARLAND, as he trims cigar) So you think every officer is a soft-shell crab? MACFARLAND. Yes, and I'm willing to prove it. (He shows SOLE second check) SOLE. What is the game? MACFARLAND. I say I can commit a crime and escape arrest one year. SOLE. Without leaving the United States? MACFARLAND. (Business-like) Yes here's my proposition: I will commit a crime. That makes me a criminal. I will avoid arrest. That makes me a fugitive from justice. You advertise me in the Rogues' Gallery as you would advertise any other criminal offer a reward for my capture, do any- thing you please. And yet I shall escape arrest one 16 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE year. If I don't, you two win. If I do, you two lose. Have I made myself clear? SOLE. (Nodding) Yes, but I am too much of a sportsman to take money from the blind. MACFARLAND. I beg your pardon! SOLE. A true sportsman never bets on a sure thing. MACFARLAND. (Quickly and somewhat heatedly) So you think I'm a sure loser, eh ? SOLE. (Laying his hand friendly on MACFAR- LAND'S shoulder) My friend, just to prove to you that I have abiding confidence in the strong arm of the law, I will bet you What's your bet? MACFARLAND. Ten thousand dollars. SOLE. I'll bet you twenty thousand dollars even money, that if my detectives don't get you, a police- man, a town marshal, a sheriff or a deputy sheriff will get you. MACFARLAND. The quickest way to prove that is to put up your twenty thousand. (Seats himself quickly at L. end of table and jerking out check-book and pen, begins to write check) (SOLE, shaking his head sympathetically, smiles at MACFARLAND and sits R. end of table. As SOLE 'sits t MACFARLAND rises and goes to lower L., thoughtfully. BROWN is at lower L.) BROWN. (To MACFARLAND, with formal air, as SOLE prepares to write check) What crime are you going to commit ? MACFARLAND. (Solicitously, as he approaches SOLE) Mr. Sole, for what crime have fewest men been shot? SOLE. (As he writes) Forgery. .MACFARLAND. Thanks. (To BROWN, with formal air) Gentlemen, the crime will be forgery. BROWN. (Dryly) Have you ever done it before ? MACFARLAND. No, but I know how. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 17 BROWN. What are you going to forge? MACFARLAND. A check. BROWN. On whom? MACFARLAND. On you. BROWN. (Boivled over with surprise) Eh? MACFARLAND. Only a hundred. The City National Bank. You deposit there, don't you? BROWN. Yes, but MACFARLAND. Good! I'll make the check out to myself George E. (To SOLE, who is now listening) What is a good alias? SOLE. MacGinniss. MACFARLAND. That's it ! George E. MacGinniss Irish patriot. (To BROWN. SOLE sits and writes) I'll make the check for one hundred dollars payable to George E. MacGinniss and sign your name to it. Then Sole will cash it for me, right here. To- morrow morning he'll take it to the City National; the Cashier there will compare the signature on the check with your signature already registered at the bank; will declare it a forgery, and an hour later detectives and officers will be scouring the city for George E. MacGinniss me. Meanwhile, Mac- Ginniss, I will have begun his little twelve-month joy-hike. And the big chase will be on. Do you get me ? SOLE. Yes, I get you now and I will get you later. MACFARLAND. (Sits at up-side of table, then to BROWN) Give me your check-book. (BROWN does so and goes back of table.) SOLE. (To BROWN, as he begins to write check) Are you to be our stake-holder? BROWN. I suppose so. (SOLE hands him his check.) 18 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. (To SOLE, OS BROWN picks Up MACFARLAND' s last check} And you're to be our stake-holder Thornt's and mine. SOLE. All right. (BROWN hands him his check and MACFARLAND hands him his first check. As BROWN and SOLE place checks in wallets, MACFARLAND resumes his forgery.) MACFARLAND. (To BROWN, as he takes BROWN'S check from him as model to forge BROWN'S name by) You swear this is your signature? BROWN. I do. (Puts up wrong hand to swear by, then changes) MACFARLAND. (As he writes the check, copying BROWN'S writing closely) Gentlemen, the coming year promises to be pleasantly exciting. Something doing every minute new scenery, new faces, new experiences. It certainly should be an eventful year. SOLE. (Satirically) It will be. MACFARLAND. For you two gentlemen it will be an expensive year. BROWN. (To SOLE) He really thinks he's going to win. SOLE. (Winking at BROWN) Watch him! MACFARLAND. (Handing the forged check to SOLE) Gentlemen, there's the crime ! Forgery with intent to defraud. SOLE. (Giv&s MACFARLAND one hundred dollar bill) And there's your hundred. (As he takes the check, examining it, MACFARLAND rises) A very neat job. MACFARLAND. (Glancing at the check, which BROWN is also glancing at) You never saw a neater job in your life, did you? SOLE. Don't know that I ever did. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 19 MACFARLAND. See ! SOLE. That is, for an amateur. (As he places forged check in pocket-book, to MACFARLAND) How tall are you ? MACFARLAND. Six foot half inch. SOLE. Who says so? MACFARLAND. My tailor. SOLE. (As he takes small silver-plated tape- measure from vest pocket) I am afraid your tailor flatters you. (He measures MACFARLAND, deftly, with tape then) I thought so. MACFARLAND. How much? SOLE. Six feet even. (To BROWN, as he hands him a note book) Make a note of that. Under MacGinniss. Be careful. Accuracy is the secret of my success. (During the following, BROWN seated at desk R. registers SOLE'S statements of measure- ments, observations, etc., concerning MACFARLAND, in note-book which SOLE takes from inside coat pocket and gives to him. To MACFARLAND) What is your specific gravity? MACFARLAND. (Puzzled) My what? SOLE. How much do you weigh? MACFARLAND. One forty-eight. SOLE. Stripped ? MACFARLAND. Dressed. SOLE. (Smiling to BROWN) Weight, one hun- dred forty-eight gross. (To MACFARLAND, as he measures his head) How old are you? MACFARLAND. Twenty-eight. SOLE. Open your mouth. (MACFARLAND does so. SOLE looks at front teeth much as a horse trader looks at horses' teeth. Then, to BROWN) Age, twenty-eight years, three months, sixteen days. (Examining tape) Girth of head, twenty-two inches. BROWN. To-day? MACFARLAND. It will be larger when I collect that thirtv thousand dollars. 20 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (SOLE places tape in vest pocket, then takes out a nickel-plated pocket-size incandescent flash- lantern.) SOLE. (To MACFARLAND) Open your mouth again. (MACFARLAND does so. SOLE examines it with lantern) Teeth second molar, upper left, missing. Third molar gold filled. Otherwise, teeth sound and well swept. (He takes magnifying len's from vest pocket, wipes it with handkerchief, tests it on hand, then, opening MACFARLAND'S mouth again, examines the teeth closely, with lens and lantern) He washes his teeth with Hydrogen Peroxide and smokes straight Havanas. MACFARLAND. How did you guess? SOLE. You just gave me one. (Replacing len's in pocket, he holds the lantern close to MACFAR- LAND'S right eye) Eyes shape, round size (He takes a small pair of silver plated calipers from another vest pocket, adjusts them, then places them carefully upon right eye of MACFARLAND) Size of eyes right eye, diameter five-eighths ; left eye, six- eighths. MACFARLAND. Odd sizes. SOLE. Color both eyes, baby-blue. Nose MACFARLAND. Don't miss that. SOLE. Length (Measuring with calipers, tip to base) Total tip to base, two and three- fourths. MACFARLAND. Feet or inches? SOLE. Make that inches. Width of nose base, one and two-tenths inch ; bridge, one butt, one and one-half. BROWN. How much the butt? SOLE. One and one-half. Shape a cross be- tween a John D. Rockefeller and a Gibson girl (MACFARLAND pats his nose fondly) Hair color, brown. Texture, fine to medium. Parts it on the left side. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 21 MACFARLAND. Marvelous. SOLE. (Examining scalp with lens and lantern) Uses Ed. Pinaud's Florida Water, and tortoise-shell comb. (To MACFARLAND, as he replaces lens in vest pocket) May I see one of your photographs? MACFARLAND. Certainly. (As he goes to door) You didn't get my temperature. SOLE. I will when you pay that thirty thousand dollars. (Exit MACFARLAND L. 3. Quietly, to BROWN) Has he a steady girl? BROWN. He hasn't any. SOLE. (Frowning) That's going to make him a hard man to catch. BROWN. Why ? SOLE. It puts the kibosh on the old reliable love- letter post-office trap. (He scratches his head wor- riedly) Has he a favorite expression? BROWN. Yes. SOLE. Biblical or slang? BROWN. Slang. SOLE. What is it? BROWN. Believe me, Xantippe! SOLE. Believe me, Xantippe ? BROWN. Yes. SOLE. (Who has been keeping an alert ear and eye on the L. door) Sh! Make a note of it! Great ! (Re-enter MACFARLAND with an arm-load of photo- graphs.) MACFARLAND. (As he dumps photos on table) From the cradle to the club. Take your choice. SOLE. (As he examines photos quickly, compar- ing them with MACFARLAND and selecting one) I think I'll take this one. MACFARLAND. Anything else? SOLE. (Putting photo in pocket) I believe not except perhaps a word of advice. (Pauses) 22 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. What is it? SOLE. When you are arrested MACFARLAND. What ? SOLE. I say when you are arrested, wire me. If you don't, you are liable to wind up in the peni- tentiary. MACFARLAND. (Quickly) What's that? SOLE. I say, wire me or you are liable to wind up in the penitentiary. MACFARLAND. How ? Why ? SOLE. Because you are a criminal. MACFARLAND. Not really one. SOLE. Yes, really one. I just cashed your forged check. MACFARLAND. But you and Thornt know that SOLE. Exactly ! Thornt and I know, but no one else knows it and if you should ever try to explain it to a jury, the chances are you would get a life sentence in the insane asylum instead of ten years in Sing Sing. MACFARLAND. (Stroking his face musingly, and smiling) This is beginning to look like the real thing. SOLE. It will be the real thing if you don't wire me the minute you are arrested. Now, if you do wire, Thornt and I will fix it up with the proper authorities and keep you out of the penitentiary. MACFARLAND. That's very sweet of you and Thornt, but I won't wire. BROWN. (Astonished) Why? MACFARLAND. Simply because I'm not going to be arrested. SOLE. (With an air of one dismissing the whole subject) Of course, if that is the way you feel about it MACFARLAND. That is the way I feel about it Oh, before it slips my mind! One point! SOLE. What is it? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 23 MACFARLAND. It's distinctly understood, isn't it, that there's to be absolutely no shooting in this little experiment ? SOLE. There won't be any unless you start it. MACFARLAND. Thanks. I won't start it. SOLE. (Glancing at watch} Now you will have until nine o'clock to-morrow morning to make your getaway. MACFARLAND. I can do it easily. SOLE. This is October 5th. After nine o'clock to- morrow morning you'll be a fugitive from justice until nine A. M. October 6th, next year. MACFARLAND. Good! Shall I send for your hats? BROWN. (Smiling) We're in no hurry. MACFARLAND. I am. William! SOLE. (To MACFARLAND) Just a moment. MACFARLAND. (To WILLIAM, who has entered rear i) Just a moment. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. (Exit rear i) SOLE. (Confidentially to MACFARLAND, BROWN listening close by) If the facts of this foolish little experiment were to get out, it might cast some dis- credit on my profession. In fact, it would probably injure my business. Therefore, I am going to ask you to promise me that under all circumstances and at all times you will treat the matter with utmost secrecy. Will you promise? MACFARLAND. Yes, but upon one condition. SOLE. What? MACFARLAND. That you and Brown don't ride in any aeroplanes or try to swim the East River. SOLE. What do you mean? MACFARLAND. The way things are hooked up now, if anything should happen to you and Brown, I would land in the penitentiary. So, for heaven's sake, be good little mothers to yourselves, and look both ways before crossing a street. Promise? 24 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (MACFARLAND and SOLE shake hands.} SOLE. (To MACFARLAND) All right. Now bring on the hats. MACFARLAND. William! (Enter WILLIAM) Fetch the gentlemen their hats. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. (Exits} SOLE. Oh, by the way, McGinniss MACFARLAND. Eh? SOLE. During your travels, you might drop us a line from to time. MACFARLAND. A picture postal, I suppose. SOLE. Yes something like that just a little remembrance, you know. (Re-enter WILLIAM with hats.} MACFARLAND. With my address on it? That would be very nice for you. Do I look like little Eva after a hard season? SOLE. (Taking his hat which WILLIAM offers to him} The chances are you will the next time I see you. MACFARLAND. (To SOLE, as BROWN take's hat from WILLIAM) Next time you see me, I'll be writing a receipt for those thirty thousand dollar checks. BROWN. (As three of them go towards rear door where WILLIAM stands} Not in a thousand years ! MACFARLAND. Just one year from to-day. SOLE. ( To MACFARLAND, pleasantly, as W'ILLIAM opens rear door) Pleasant journey, Raffles! MACFARLAND. Thank you, Mr. Holmes. BROWN. (As SOLE exits, to MACFARLAND) And many of them, Desperate Desmond ! MACFARLAND. Thank you, Dr. Watson. (Exit BROWN. MACFARLAND goes quickly to desk R.) William. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 25 WILLIAM. Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. Shut the door. (Sits at desk and writes rapidly) I am leaving town to-morrow. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. I shall be gone a year. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. MACFARLAND. If anyone inquires for me, tell them that I am that I am traveling. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. Where, sir? MACFARLAND. None of your business, William, or theirs, either. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. Is that all, sir? MACFARLAND. No, fetch me the latest time-table of every railroad in the United States. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. When, sir? MACFARLAND. Now right now. Hurry. If you can't do it alone, get an expressman to help you. WILLIAM. (Hastening to rear D.) Yes, sir. (Door bell rings.) MACFARLAND. See who it is. WILLIAM. Yes, sir. (Exits rear D. Returning) Mr. Brown and Mr. Sole returning, sir. MACFARLAND. (Surprised) That's strange. Show them in. (Exit WILLIAM rear I. MAC- FARLAND rises, glances at watch, then relights cigar) (Re-enter SOLE, followed by BROWN, rear D. They carry their hats.) SOLE. (Coming down L. and exhibiting photo taken from coat pocket) The more I think of this photograph, the less I think of it. MACFARLAND. (Now at R. end of table. SOLE at up-side. BROWN at L. end) What's wrong with it? 26 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE SOLE. Everything. I think I'd better take one myself. (Tosses photo on table) MACFARLAND. Have you a camera with you? SOLE. I always have one with me. MACFARLAND. (As SOLE takes small kodak from pocket) You'll bring a rabbit out of yourself in a minute. SOLE. Please put on a coat. MACFARLAND. Certainly. (Starts up towards L. 3) SOLE. And a vest. MACFARLAND. Yes. I have my trousers on. [(Goes off. BROWN and SOLE start to zvhisper. MAC- FARLAND re-entering) Black or white? SOLE. To match your coat. MACFARLAND. Of course, certainly to match my coat. (Exit L. 3) BROWN. (BROWN glances slyly L. 3, then steps close to SOLE, who is adjusting kodak lens) I've got an idea. Let's play a little joke on him. We'll lock the doors and keep him here till morning. (SOLE glances cautiously at L. 3.) SOLE. (Sotto voce, to BROWN) I've got a better scheme than that. (BROWN glances L. 3.) BROWN. (Curious, and anxious, in whisper) What is it ? (SOLE and BROWN now stand at up-side of table with their backs to L. 3. They are close to- gether. SOLE glances at L. 3. BROWN glances there, then SOLE begins to speak.) SOLE. (To BROWN, sotto voce) I'll have my BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 27 men watch this house all night. When MacFarland MacGinniss comes out of the house, my men will shadow him until the clock strikes nine, then they'll nab our foxy friend before he starts. BROWN. Great ! SOLE. Sh! (He glances at L. 3, then} Waiting! MACFARLAND. (Off L.) All right, coming! (Enters L. 3, in act of putting on coat} SOLE. (As MACFARLAND comes down, buttoning up vest} May I use this tray for my flash-light? MACFARLAND. Certainly. SOLE. (As he places flash-light cartridge, taken from pocket, on tray, to BROWN) Get ready to turn out the lights. MACFARLAND. (To SOLE, as he fingers SOLE'S hat, on L. end of table, as BROWN goes up c.) Shall I wear a hat ? SOLE. No. MACFARLAND. (Picking up hat from table) Nice hat. Where'd you get it? SOLE. At the hat store. MACFARLAND. Very well. Just as you say. (Holds SOLE'S hat behind him} SOLE. (Finding MACFARLAND in lens} Chin up, please. Head erect. That's it. MACFARLAND. Is this for the Rogues' Gallery? SOLE. (Satirically} Yes. Just look natural. (To BROWN, now near rear D.) All right. Turn them out. (BROWN turns off lights, leaving the room in absolute darkness. Exit MACFARLAND, quickly but quietly L. 3. Closes door softly. SOLE touches end of flash-light fuse with lighted cigar. Explosion, flash then} Turn on the lights. BROWN. (Obeying} All right. SOLE. (Still looking into the finding lens of camera} That's all, thanks. (Dramatic pause.} 28 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE BROWN. (Surprised) Where is he? (SOLE glances at where MACFARLAND was. then smiles.) SOLE. (Dryly, as he shoves kodak into pocket) He's playing a joke on us. (Glancing at L. 3) Come out of that bedroom, MacGinniss. (Pause. SOLE starts toward L. 3. Indicating rear D. To BROWN) Stand at that door while I shoo him out from under the bed. (BROWN skips to rear door. Exit SOLE L. 3, laugh- ing. Pause. BROWN stands with back to door, rear, eyes riveted on L. 3.) BROWN. Find him? (Pause) Find him, Art? (Pause) Hey! (SOLE appears in L. 3 doorway) Find him? SOLE. (Entering, much perplexed) No BROWN. (Anxiously, as SOLE inspects tvindows, rear L.) Where is he? SOLE. (Impetuously) How do I know? BROWN. (Somewhat hotly) You ought to know ; you're a detective. (Loudly, hands to mouth like a megaphone) William! William! William! SOLE. Now don't get excited. BROWN. I'm not excited. (Telephone rings. BROWN jumps straight up, as if shot, then dashes to 'phone, seizes it and places receiver to ear. Ex- citedly, in 'phone) Hello! Yes Yes (Dumb- founded) Say, where in thunder are you? Hello, hello, hello, hello! SOLE. (Matter-of-fact, as he comes down L.) Who is it? BROWN. (To SOLE) G-e-o-r-g-e ! SOLE. (Surprised) What? BROWN. George! MacFarland! MacGinniss! SOLE. (Quickly and eagerly) Where is he? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 29 BROWN. Where are you? SOLE. Well well well ! Where ? BROWN. He says find out ! SOLE. You bet I'll find out. (Trying to find hat. BROWN jams receiver in hook and bangs 'phone on desk) Do you know what that son-of-a-gun did? BROWN. What? SOLE. He stole my hat ! ! (They are dashing out of room, rear door, as cur- tain falls.) Curtain 30 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ACT II SCENE : The interior of a small deserted cabin in the Rocky Mountains. Two entrances Rear c., a door leading outdoors. L. 3, a door leading to another room. To L. of rear D., a window covered with boards. In upper R. corner of room, an old hand-made cupboard with door on hinges. Old stone fireplace, TL. 2. Heavy, home- made table, lower center. Home-made chairs to R. and L. of table. Box for wash-stand, near window. On box, a tin wash-basin and water bucket. Dipper in bucket but not much water. Against L. wall, and below L. D., a rustic bed- stead, made of saplings nailed together. It has rope springs and is covered with pine boughs. Upon the lower end of bedstead, a canvas covered camp-bed, rolled up and tied with rope. It is the regulation cowpuncher's bed but rather narrow, same width as the bedstead. TIME : Late afternoon, September 30th, of the next year. Rear D. c. fa open revealing a landscape of oak brush, aspen and pine covered mountains in all the splendor of an autumnal sunset. AT RISE: Pause. BUCK KAMMAN enters rear D. c. KAMMAN is a big, bronze-skinned man of fifty. Sandy moustache. Wears corduroy clothes, riding boots and a large Stetson " sheriff's " hat. Wears leather holster and belt under coat. He goes to the table, examining the cylinder of his Colts. He glances at his watch. KAMMAN. (Glancing L. 3) Dolly! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 31 DOLLY. (Off L. 3) Yes? KAMMAN. Pack up your duds. DOLLY. (In doorway L. c) What for? (She is a pretty, vivacious girl of nineteen, clad in a neat buckskin skirt and leg gins and a blue flannel shirt} KAMMAN. We are going home. DOLLY. (Coming to him) Not yet, pa. KAMMAN. Right now. DOLLY. (Shaking her head prettily) Wait until I get a deer. KAMMAN. A sheriff is a sheriff, Dolly. DOLLY. I know it, pa, but KAMMAN. The Fall Term of the District Court begins to-morrow. We must get home to-night. DOLLY. I am going to stay until I get a deer. (She turns from him) KAMMAN. Now look here, Dolly, you are not going to stay up here alone. DOLLY. (Facing him) Why not? KAMMAN. It isn't safe. DOLLY. What's there to be afraid of? Bears, cowboys, and hunters. I can shoot the bears, feed the cowboys and (She takes his hand in hers) There's nothing to be afraid of, pa. KAMMAN. I tell you, Dolly, you never can tell what is going to turn up in these mountains ^especi- ally in the hunting season. DOLLY. That's exactly why I want to stay. May- be I'll get a bear. KAMMAN. If there's any bears to be shot in the Kamman family, /'// shoot them. Come on. DOLLY. Please let me stay, pa. KAMMAN. It isn't safe. DOLLY. It's perfectly safe and you know it. There is absolutely no danger. And even if there was, haven't I a brand-new rifle? Don't I know how to ride? KAMMAN. I won't argue with you. We're going 32 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE home. Come on. (Going to camp-bed) I'll pack your bed for you. DOLLY. (Going to him) Why can't we stay just one more day? KAMMAN. I tell you a sheriff is a sheriff. He is hired to hunt men, not deer. (Standing bed on end} For all we know, I may be wanted at the other end of the county this very minute, so pack up your duds. (Shoulders the bed) DOLLY. (Calmly, as KAMMAN starts towards door with bed) No use of your taking that bed out. (KAMMAN faces her) I am going to stay even if I have to sleep on the floor. KAMMAN. (Severely) Dolly! (She does not reply. He drops bed and goes to her) Now, look here, Dolly! DOLLY. Pa, I am going to get a deer and that is all there is to it. (Crosses R.) KAMMAN. You can get one later on. DOLLY. The season closes to-morrow night. (Turns her back on him) KAMMAN. (Significantly, over her shoulder) I know the game-warden. DOLLY. (Facing him) But I want to get a der in the open season. I want to be able to haul him down Main Street on my pack horse. And when his head is mounted and up in my room I want to be able to point to it with a clear conscience and say (Extending her hands and pleading with a smile) Don't take me home, pa. Please don't. (KAMMAN frowns. DOLLY infers that he is weak- ening) It may be the last deer hunt I will ever take. KAMMAN. (Gruffly) I reckon not. DOLLY. You can't tell, pa. When Aunt Martha sends me off to that girl's school in New England (Turning from him) You never can tell what is going to happen to a girl after you send her away to BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 33 college. (Glancing over her shoulder at him) I might get married. (KAMMAN is scratching his chin. DOLLY faces him) Don't take me home. (DOLLY takes his hand in her own) Can't I stay just one more day? Please. I want to. Can't I? (She looks up into his face smiling) Can't I? There isn't any danger. You know that. Can't I stay? KAMMAN. (Completely out-generated) Yes, hang it all, stay a week if you want to. (He starts up abruptly} DOLLY. Goody. KAMMAN. (Severely, facing her, rear c.) But mind you, see that your Molly mare is well hobbled and your guns loaded. (DOLLY skips to L. 3.) DOLLY. (At L. 3) Wait a minute. I will go a piece with you. (Exit DOLLY L. 3) (KAMMAN stands in doorway, rear c., a moment looking out. The purple hue of night is en- veloping the mountains. Presently he goes to the cupboard.) KAMMAN. Got enough grub? DOLLY. (Off L. 3) Tons of it. KAMMAN. (Opening cupboard door) Got enough candles? DOLLY. (Off) Yes. KAMMAN. (Coming down with candle, which is in wooden block) I will put one here on the table for you. DOLLY. (Re-entering) All right. (She wears a dark leather jacket, riding hat and is putting on buckskin gauntlets) KAMMAN. Better light it, I guess. (Starts to strike match on trouser leg) 34 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Coming down to him) I will light it when I get back. KAMMAN. Guess that would be better. (Blows out match. Dolly starts toward rear door) Just a minute, Dolly. DOLLY. (Coming down to him) What is it? KAMMAN. (Placing his hand on her shoulder) Dolly, this is the first time there's ever been occasion for it, but listen: when you're alone in these hills you're alone. Chances are, nobody's near to help you. So if anyone gets fresh with you, shoot. Chances are they won't get fresh. Most men are gentlemen. But if- anyone does get fresh, shoot, and shoot to hit. Don't ask any questions. We'll attend to that at the inquest. Let me see your gun. (She hands him her revolver. He examines it care- fully) All right. (As he returns it to her) Now, don't forget what I tell you. Shoot. And don't be slow about it. DOLLY. (Buttoning jacket) I won't. (Crosses R.) ''KAMMAN replaces camp-bed on foot of bed where he found it. Then ) KAMMAN. (Going to DOLLY at table) Now, I don't want to frighten you, Dolly, but some of the boys say Simp Calloway is in these parts again. DOLLY. Who? KAMMAN. Simp Calloway, a fellow who's wanted for shooting a sheep-herder in a poker game in this county and stealing a trottin' horse in Utah. If you see him, come right straight home and tell me. Understand ? DOLLY. What does Simp look like? KAMMAN. He's a medium-sized, wiry cuss with black hair and a scar on his left cheek. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 35 DOLLY. (Eyes tihut) And he's fond of poker? KAMMAN. Yes. DOLLY. (Opening eyes) I have him. KAMMAN. Now, mind what I tell you: Simp Galloway is wanted and he's wanted badly. I don't think there's one chance in a million that you will see him, if I did, I wouldn't let you stay up here one minute, but if you do see him, you ride straight home and tell me. Understand? DOLLY. Yes. KAMMAN. All right. Come on. (He starts up, DOLLY following) If you don't come home to- morrow, I'll send Wrenn out after you. DOLLY. I will, tho. I will have a deer by to-morrow. (They exit. DOLLY closing door rear c.) (Room is now dark. Marked pause. A coyote howls off rear. Pause. Coyote howls again. Presently a man knocks at the door. He knocks again and after a pause, again. Then the door opens.) MACFARLAND. (In doorway) Anybody home? (Tired polite) Does anybody live here? (He strikes a match and holds it above his head. It is MACFARLAND, alto's MAcGiNNiss. He wears a badly torn hunter's uniform, heavy walking boots, a four days' growth of beard and a hunting belt containing Colts in holster on one side and a large knife in holster on the other. Between them are cartridges. He looks tired and hungry, and he walks that way. In his right hand he carries a big Win- chester rifle, .38.70 calibre. He glances around the room until the match, burnt short, burns his fingers. Strikes another match, comes down to table and lights the candle. Returning to rear door, he closes it. Espying L. 3 ajar, he goes to it and raps) 36 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Anybody home? (Takes drink from water bucket, then bangs dipper on wall. Loudly) Anybody home? (Then taking a small badger from coat pocket, he returns to table upon which he lays it. Taking watch from vest pocket, he glances at it, rubs his stomach and sighs. Replacing watch, he shakes his head, lays rifle on table and sinks, ex- hausted, into chair R. Drawing his Colts an un- usually large one from his holster, he gazes at it) You've blistered my hip enough for one day, you thirteen inch Krupps ! (Lays Colts on table. Tak- ing pipe from coat pocket he frisks himself for tobacco. His disappointment upon discovering that it has been lost, is whimsically ludicrous. With a sigh of complete exhaustion, he remove's hat, tosses it on Colts, picks up the badger, strokes it tenderly a few minutes, then) Would to God I were feeding you peanuts in dear old Central Park ! I'm hungry enough to eat you raw. (He gazes meditatively at the animal several moments then, tossing it upon the table, rises and goes to the fireplace, lies flat on stomach in front of it and blows the ashes. When his blowing has reached vigorous proportions, DOLLY enters quietly rear I. Closing the door noiselessly, she smiles at the blowing stranger. MACFARLAND with a violent puff, unaware of DOLLY'S presence) Burn, damn you ! DOLLY. (Shocked) I beg your pardon. (MACFARLAND flops over on his back and, support- ing himself on his hands, behind him, stares at her.) MACFARLAND. Wh where did you come from? DOLLY. (At up end of table) Where did you? MACFARLAND. From the top of the mountain. DOLLY. When ? MACFARLAND. (Rising) Early this morning. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 37 DOLLY. Are you a hunter? MACFARLAND. (Smiling) I am hunting. DOLLY. Deer ? MACFARLAND. (Bravely) Bear. DOLLY. Do you call that a bear? MACFARLAND. That's a squirrel. DOLLY. In Colorado we call that a badger. MACFARLAND. In Central Park we call it a squirrel. (She smiles at him as the veteran smiles at the tenderfoot) Is your father in? DOLLY. Father's out. MACFARLAND. (R. of table) Is your mother in? DOLLY. I have no mother. MACFARLAND. (Picking up his rifle) Very well, then. (Laying his hand on his hat) I shall be going. DOLLY. (Frankly sincere) You needn't mind. MACFARLAND. (Puzzled) What? DOLLY. I said, "Aren't you hungry?" (He studies her face, then smiles. DOLLY severely) If not, I guess you had better be moving on. (She gazes at him sharply. For several moments they study one another. Presently MACFARLAND smiles boyishly) MACFARLAND. Let's cook the squirrel. (DOLLY'S eyes drop. She begins to pet the squirrel. They noiv stand at opposite sides of the table. He to R. and she to L. She gazes at the squirrel. He gazes at her. Presently he too begins to pet the squirrel. The silence grows embarrassing) Nice "Squirrel," isn't it? DOLLY. Nice and fat. MACFARLAND. (Proudly) I killed it. DOLLY. (Glancing at him, reproachfully) Couldn't you find anything else to kill? MACFARLAND. It was the only thing that stood 38 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE still long enough. There are two things I can't do ride a horse, and shoot straight. I am a nervous marksman. DOLLY. (Smiling at his greenness) Did you ever see a deer? (She glances at him) MACFARLAND. (Petting the squirrel, but his eyes on DOLLY) Not until this season. DOLLY. (Quickly) Where was it? MACFARLAND. Here. DOLLY. Where? (MACFARLAND glances at her, then L. 3, then at rear door c. He is noticeably em- barrassed) Where? MACFARLAND. (With ludicrous abruptness) Shall I skin the squirrel? DOLLY. (Drolly) Do you think you could? MACFARLAND. (Confidently) Of course I can. I shot him. (Whipping out hunting knife, he feels its edge deftly, picks up the badger, examines the badger awkwardly to find a place to begin to skin it. Finally, as if inspired) Oh, yes, you have to singe it first. (Goes to fireplace and holds badger over fire. Exit DOLLY L. 4. laughing to herself. Discovering, a few minutes later, that he is alone MACFARLAND returns to table, spreads handker- chief and lays badger on it. Then, removing coat, and rolling up sleeves, he whets the knife a couple of timers on the edge of the table and tries to cub the animal's limbs preparatory to skinning it. He never skinned anything before and his actions show it. In his effort to get the skin started, he pulls off the animal's tail, stretches its body twice its normal length and cuts his fingers. Finally, in a supreme effort to -start the skin by sheer force, he jerks it so violently that the head of the animal slips from his grasp, causing the whole thing to hit him. Ex- asperated, he rushes to rear D., opens it, flings the badger out. He slams door and goes to basin and washes hands} BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 39 (Re-enter DOLLY, she is again in her blue waist.) DOLLY. (As she rolls up her sleeves) Did you slam the door ? MACFARLAND. I closed it. DOLLY. (Approaching him) Where is it? MACFARLAND. The squirrel? DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. We will have him for breakfast. (DOLLY looks at him puzzled.) DOLLY. What? MACFARLAND. He begged to be allowed to see the sun rise once again. DOLLY. (Still puzzled) Did you throw that badger away? MACFARLAND. I deposited him gently upon the landscape. DOLLY. Are you almost thru with the wash basin ? MACFARLAND. (Politely) Just this minute. (Facing her) May I please have something to dry my hands on? DOLLY. (Going towards him) The back of the door. (MACFARLAND goes to door c., finds no towel. Then wipes his hands on door) No ! The other door. MACFARLAND. (Seeing towel on back of cup- board door) Oh, this door. (He dries hands. DOLLY picks up wash basin, and starts to door c.) Let me empty that for you. (Emptying it off rear D., he returns with it to stand, fills it with water and, as DOLLY approaches, he offers her the soap) DOLLY. (Naively, as she accepts the soap) Did you ever go to boarding school? MACFARLAND. (Drying his hands on gunny- sack) Not exactly. Why? 40 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Lathering her hands) You are so polite. MACFARLAND. Thank you. DOLLY. (Rirising her hands) You are from the city, aren't you? MACFARLAND. (Apprehensive, but trying to con- ceal it) What city? DOLLY. Denver. MACFARLAND. (Smiling, and relieved) Hardly. DOLLY. (As she dries her hands on sack) I know you are from some city. MACFARLAND. How can you tell? DOLLY. (As MACFARLAND dries hands on other end of sack) You are neither bashful nor fresh. MACFARLAND. Thank you. (DOLLY goes to cup- board, takes a tin basin therefrom, MACFARLAND watches her admiringly. Still drying his hands) DOLLY. (Filling basin with water) Were you ever in Boston? MACFARLAND. Yes. DOLLY. Often? MACFARLAND. Not any oftener than absolutely necessary. Why ? DOLLY. (Placing basin on table) My Aunt Martha insists that I shall go there to college. MACFARLAND. Don't you want to? DOLLY. No, I want to go to New York City. MACFARLAND. (Going towards table) I don't blame you. (Idealistically) Oh, I don't blame you ! (DOLLY is now at R. side of table. MACFARLAND is at up side.) DOLLY. (Idealistically, facing front) New York must be the grandest city in the world! (Pause. DOLLY seems to be dreaming. MACFARLAND seems to be dreaming too) MACFARLAND. (Smiling idealistically) It is. Believe me, Xantippe, it is! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 41 (DOLLY'S jaw drops. Her expression of dreaminess instantly gives way to one of surprise. She gazes bewildered front a moment, then, turn- ing abruptly to MACFARLAND, sizes him up at a glance, then;) DOLLY. (Tactfully) Will you please put some twigs on the fire? (MACFARLAND is puzzled) It is turning colder. MACFARLAND. Certainly. Where are they? DOLLY. In the twig box. (As he goes toward fireplace, DOLLY jerks out her Colts and covers him. Emphatically and quickly, but calmly. As MAC- FARLAND picks up piece of wood) MacGinniss. (MACFARLAND drops the wood, wheels about and faces her) Throw up your hands! Drop that knife ! (He obeys) Kick it over here ! (He obeys) Empty your pockets ! (He obeys. A few rifle cartridges, match-case, pipe and toothbrush falling to the floor) Take off your coat ! (He obeys. She goes to him) Put it on the table! (He obeys) Pick up that rubbish! (He drops on his knees and begins to slowly pick up the contents of his pockets) Hurry! (He hurries) Put it on the mantelpiece. (He obeys, walking sideways and keeping eyes riveted on DOLLY. Is afraid she zvill shoot. She indicates chair R. of table) Sit down. If you move from that chair, I'll shoot you. MACFARLAND. (Swallowing with difficulty) I I won't bat an eye. (DOLLY takes rifle and coat to L. 3, desposits them inside, goes up to cup- board, opens it and takes out a tin basin. MAC- FARLAND is afraid to look at her) What are you doing 'getting a rope to hang me with? DOLLY. Potatoes. MACFARLAND. Potatoes ? DOLLY. (Putting potatoes from sack into pan) I'm going to get supper and you're going to help 42 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE me. (Puts potato-knife in pan and brings pan down to MACFARLAND) Peel. MACFARLAND. (Mystified accepting the pan} Who are you anyhow ? DOLLY. It doesn't matter who I am; your name is MacGinniss. You are wanted in New York City for forgery. Peel! (MACFARLAND picks up potato knife and a potato as if to peel it, then pauses and looks at DOLLY.) MACFARLAND. Why do you think I am the man? DOLLY. Your picture has been in my father's Rogue's Gallery almost a year. A man of your height, build, and complexion, whose favorite ex- pression is " BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ". MACFARLAND. (Disgusted with himself, dropping knife)' Damn ! DOLLY. You 1 are the man. There is a reward of five thousand dollars for you, and I am going to get it Peel ! MACFARLAND. (Peeling slowly) There must be some mistake. DOLLY. There is not. MACFARLAND. But DOLLY. Peel ! (Shoves gun almost into his face) MACFARLAND. Gladly. (He peels very rapidly, whittling potato into strips) DOLLY. (Examining coffee pot, which is on mantel) Do you like coffee? MACFARLAND. Not for dinner. DOLLY. This is supper. (Crosses to water bucket) MACFARLAND. Excuse me. (He glances at her. Her back is to him, she is filling coffee pot from, water bucket, L. c. rear. Slipping his hand beneath his hat, MACFARLAND draws Colts from beneath it and lays gun in his lap, behind the basin. MA- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 43 FARLAND examines a potato curiously} I beg your pardon, but is this potato spoiled ? (DOLLY glances at him) It looks as if something was wrong with one of its eyes. (DOLLY goes to him, on L. side of table. He hands her potato with left hand.) DOLLY. (Examining potato) Nonsense! Noth- ing's the matter with (As she examines it, he produces gun from his lap, quietly resting the end of the barrel upon the edge of table) MACFARLAND. Now just who are you? DOLLY. (Pointedly) Never mind (He raises gun, she sees it) Oh ! ( MACFARLAND springs to his feet, bdsin of potatoes falling to the floor.) MACFARLAND. (Covering her, he is so frightened that the gun shakes like a leaf) Throw up your hands ! (He seizes gun with both hands to hold it steady) Sit down! (DOLLY obeys frightenedly. MACFARLAND takes her gun from its holster) If you move from that chair I'll shoot. (Shoves her gun into his pocket, then kneels and picks up potatoes quickly, puts them in basin and hands basin to her) Peel. (She takes basin and begins peeling) Now just who are you anyway ? DOLLY. (Peeling nervously rapid) They they call me Dolly. (Stops peeling) MACFARLAND. Dolly what? Peel, peel. DOLLY. Dolly Kamman. MACFARLAND. (Suspiciously) Is your father frightened, starts to rise, falls back in her chair, limply, her hands falling to her side, her head for- ward, the pan falling to the floor. MACFARLAND ward, the pan falling to the floor. MACFARLAND 44 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE frightened) What's the matter ? (Rushing around back to her side) Miss Dolly! (Chafing her hands vigorously) Dolly! Good Lord, I've frightened the life out of her. (A few moments elapse. She seems to have fainted completely) DOLLY. (Faintly) Water Water. (MAC- FARLAND rashes to water bucket. DOLLY raises her head, smiles wisely at MACFARLAND'S back, then "feigns stupor again. Rushing back to her with dipper of water, MACFARLAND holds it to her lips. She seems to be only semi-conscious. Sips a few sips then, sitting up, gazes about dazedly} MACFARLAND. What happened? Are you bet- ter? DOLLY. {Stupidly, gazing blankly straight ahead} I I want to go to bed. I want to go to bed. (Growing somewhat hysterical. Don't overdo it) Leave me ! Leave me I want to go to bed ! MACFARLAND. (Somewhat surprised, to him- self) Oh, she wants to go to bed ! (MACFARLAND starts toward rear R. DOLLY smiles triumphantly. Exit MACFARLAND rear door. DOLLY is glancing cautiously at rear door, when re-enter MACFAR- LAND. Just inside doorway) I beg your pardon, Miss Kamman, but could you lend me a blanket for the night? (She glances at him) I can't start home until morning and it is growing colder all the time. (Close's door) DOLLY. (Indicating L. 3 E.) You can sleep in there if you want to. MACFARLAND. Where would you sleep? DOLLY. (Indicating camp-bed) There. MACFARLAND. (After thinking it over a mo- ment} Thank you, but I do not believe that I can accept your hospitality. (Open's door) DOLLY. Why not? MACFARLAND. It wouldn't be very discreet. DOLLY. This is not New York City. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 45 MACFARLAND. That is why I hesitate. DOLLY. (Pause) I don't understand you I said you could sleep in that room. I'll sleep in this room. (MACFARLAND closes door and starts down L.) MACFARLAND. Yes, but suppose, just about the time I got well located for the night, your father should pop in. DOLLY. Father won't pop in. He has gone to town to stay. MACFARLAND. Well, a friend or a neighbor, then. DOLLY. There isn't a friend or a neighbor" within twenty miles of here. MACFARLAND. Do you mean to tell me that you are going to be absolutely alone all night ? DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. Is that the truth? DOLLY. Yes, unless MACFARLAND. Unless what? DOLLY. Unless you stay. (MACFARLAND gazes at her a moment, then goes abruptly L. 3. DOLLY watches him, puzzled, expectant, doubting. Arrived at L. 3 he stops, meditates} What are you going to do? MACFARLAND. I am going to stay. (He glances at her a moment, then goes abruptly rear D. and locks door. DOLLY at sound of the locking, clenches her hands. She is frightened but controls herself. DOLLY rises and steps to down end of table, gazing straight ahead, eyes half closed schemingly. MAC- FARLAND contemplates her a few moments, admir- ingly, puzsledly, puts key in pocket, then comes down to her pensively. Over her shoulder, gently, he thinks she is absolutely straight but is going to be sure of it. He is a gentleman throughout the act) Dolly (A trifle closer and smiling} Dolly (He lays his hand gently on her shoulder, DOLLY looks 46 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE at him quickly and with savage defiance like a little tigress at bay. MACFARLAND removes his hand from her shoulder. He is convinced that she is the girl he thought she was} I beg your pardon. I simply wanted to be sure you were the nice little girl I thought you were. You are. Good-night. DOLLY. Good-night. ( MACFARLAND goes quickly to rear D., unlocks it, then goes to L. 3.) MACFARLAND. (At L. 3) I shall put you on your honor not to run away. DOLLY. Thank you. MACFARLAND. Pleasant dreams. Nighty nighty^ (Exit MACFARLAND L. 3, closing door) ( DOLLY glances at door, pauses a moment, then goes quickly to her camp-bed, unties the ropes and unrolls it. Turning back the down side lap of the bed cover, she thrusts her arm between the blankets and pulls out a small 22 Winchester repeating rifle, cocks it and lays it on the bed. She then crosses to table, picks up candle, places it on the mantelpiece, blows it out, and crosses to bed quietly.) DOLLY. (Excitedly -from the bed) Oh! (Frightened) Oh! (Hysterically) Mr. Mac- Ginniss! Mr. Ginniss! Mr. Ginniss MACFARLAND. (Rushing in from L. 3) What's the matter? Snakes in your bed? DOLLY. Get a match quick ! Quick ! Quick ! MACFARLAND. Where are they? Where are they? DOLLY. On the mantelpiece. Quick! Quick! (In rushing to mantelpiece, MACFARLAND falls over a chair.) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 47 MACFARLAND. Hang it! (Throws chair up- stage} DOLLY. Hurry ! (MACFARLAND at mantelpiece, strikes match. In his haste, he strikes too hard. Match lights but breaks.) MACFARLAND. Confound it ! (He lights another match) DOLLY. Do hurry! Light the candle! (MAC- FARLAND R. of table, lights the candle. He is so occupied with lighting it that he does not look at DOLLY until she speaks to him. The lighted candle reveals her standing beside the bed with the 22 rifle levelled at MACFARLAND. Politely) Thank you very much. MACFARLAND. (Completely flabbergasted) Well, I'll be (Holds flame in front of his heart. Smil- ing) Shoot ! DOLLY. Sit down. (MACFARLAND sits in chair, at R. of table) Where is my gun? MACFARLAND. In father's room. (He rises and starts toward L. 3) DOLLY. Sit down! MACFARLAND. I am going to get it for you. DOLLY. Sit down ! MACFARLAND. (After sitting in chair at L. of table) I suppose you will take me to jail now. DOLLY. Twenty-five miles in the dark, on horse back, with you? I guess not. MACFARLAND. I never rode a horse in my life. What next? DOLLY. Go to bed. MACFARLAND. Gladly! (Jumps up and starts rapidly toward L. 3) DOLLY. (Emphatically, indicating camp-bed) This bed. 48 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. (Petulant, after halting. He is now near L. 3) Say, you are disturbing my plans for the evening. (Comes down L.) DOLLY. Hurry ! MACFARLAND. Just as you say. (He begins to unbuckle belt as if to undress} DOLLY. Roll in as you are. (He glances at her. She raises gun to threatening level} MACFARLAND. (Wincing at sight of gun} All right, if you are going to get fussy about it. (Opening the end of the bed, he sqrirms into it. DOLLY sits in chair L. of table, MACFARLAND rest- ing on elbow, watching DOLLY. Pause, then ) Are you sure you know who I am? DOLLY. Go to sleep. MACFARLAND. Are you sure of it? DOLLY. I tell you your picture has been in my father's Rogue's gallery for over eleven months. I have looked at it every day. MACFARLAND. (Surprised and pleased} You have looked at my picture every day for eleven months ? DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. You must have taken a fancy to me from the start. DOLLY. I look at all of them. MACFARLAND. (Squelched} Oh! (Turns over and faces wall. Feigns sleep. Presently, without looking at her} Did you ever catch anyone before? DOLLY. No one like you. (MACFARLAND grows big eyed with pride and wonderment. He sits up.} MACFARLAND. (Looking at her smiling} Jusl what do you mean " No one like you ? " DOLLY. (Pointing gun at him, emphaticaly} Go to c ,leeD BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 49 (MACFARLAND drops as if shot, turns over quickly and faces wall. Comedy business, killing fly on wall, -whistling to himself, etc., then ) MACFARLAND. (Facing wall) I won't go to sleep. You can make me go to bed but you can't make me go to sleep. (Turns over on back, comedy business with feet, spreading them apart and bring- ing them together, gazing up at ceiling, indignant but helpless) The idea ! You, a little bit of a girl making a great big man like me go to bed with his clothes on. It isn't right! There's nothing in the Constitution that says a girl can put a man to bed simply because he looks like somebody else. I won't go to sleep. (Sitting up) I am going to sit right here and watch you all night. DOLLY. Very well. You may. (Marked pause. MACFARLAND rivets his eyes on DOLLY'S face. DOLLY, indifferent to his^ gaze, assumes the youthful carefree expression of the early part of the act. Marked pause. MACFARLAND toys with bed cover, glances at DOLLY, other comedy business. Presently he levels his finger at her, arms length and threateningly.) MACFARLAND. (With the subdued emotion of a terrible threat) Dolly Kamman, if you don't get out of this room within the next ten seconds, I will kiss you. (DOLLY remains perfectly calm, eyes fixed on him. He counts slowly) One two three four five I'm not afraid of your old gun five six seven! (Throws back bed covers} eight (Sits on edge of bed) eight and a half nine (Rises. DOLLY calmly cocks the rifle. MACFAR- hesitates. DOLLY levels the rifle at him) DOLLY. (Slowly) One (MACFARLAND sits on 50 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE edge of bed, his eyes on DOLLY) Two (He gets into bed) Three (He covers himself with bed covers, pulls them up to chin) Four (He covers his head with covers. DOLLY stands the rifle against the table) Five (He squirms down) Six (He humps himself like a snail) Seven (The snail shifts position, its head now being down-stage) Eight (His head protrudes beneath cover. He gasps for breath) Nine (He grimaces with fear) MACFARLAND. (Plaintively) Don't shoot ! For God's sake, don't shoot! DOLLY. Then go to sleep. MACFARLAND. Gladly! (The head disappears. The snail flattens out) DOLLY. (Pleasantly, as she picks up rifle) Good- night, Mr. MacGinniss. Pleasant dreams to you. (MACFARLAND waves his hand to her. Nothing but the hand can be seen. Rest of body is com- pletely covered with bed cover. DOLLY goes to L. D. opens it, looks at the covered prisoner, then closes door, to make him think she has left the room. Slight pause, then MACFAR- LAND peeps slowly out from head of bed and, unconscious of DOLLY'S presence, gradually pushes the bed covers off himself and crawls out of bed. As he starts toward table he espies DOLLY whose gun is leveled at him. Madly he scrambles back into bed and jerks the covers over his head. DOLLY exits L. 3, leaves rifle there and returns with her own revolver. She examines chambers to see that they are still loaded, then places gun in holster and, glancing frequently at the sleeping MACFARLAND throughout it all, replenishes the fire, puts on coffee pot, adds coffee from coffee can taken from cupboard and starts down to pick up the potatoes. As she is picking them up, her back BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 51 to rear D. the door opens slowly and noise- lessly, revealing SIMP GALLOWAY. SIMP is a mean-looking desperado. Wears faded blue riding jumper and overalls, old leather schapps Mexican spurs or Mexican boots, and a large black Mountaineer's felt hat. Has a week's growth of beard. He glances about the room wearily, then scrutinises DOLLY several mo- ments. She is picking up potatoes and is un- aware of his presence until he speaks.} SIMP. (With a slow drawl standing inside door- way, hand on door} Beg pardon, but (DOLLY glances at him, recognises him and drops pan, startled.) DOLLY. (Startled) Oh ! (Rise's quickly. MAC- FARLAND sits up) SIMP. Didn't go to scare you. DOLLY. (Laughing nervously) That's all right. You you startled me, that's all. (To MAC-FAR- LAND, emphatically) Lie down ! ( SIMP'S hand goes to his gun. This is the first time he hds seen MAO FARLAND. MACFARLAND obeys, resting on his side and elbow and watching them during following: DOLLY hospitably to SIMP) Come on in. SIMP. N' thanks jist dropped in to borrow a couple of matches. DOLLY. Certainly. (She goes up to the cup- board. Throughout the following, SIMP keeps his eyes on MACFARLAND and DOLLY and his hand on his hip, near his gun) SIMP. (As DOLLY is getting matches at cup- board) Is your husband sick? DOLLY. (Going to him with box of matches) No. SIMP. Hurt? 52 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. No, tired. (She hands him watches) SIMP. (Putting matches in jumper pocket -with left hand) How much for the matches? DOLLY. Nothing. (Sympathetically) Aren't you hungry ? MACFARLAND. I am. DOLLY. (Looks at MACFARLAND) Lie down. SIMP. (To DOLLY) Do you live here ? (Lights cigarette, striking match on inside of left arm) DOLLY. No, sir. We are hunting. SIMP. (Grinning. He thinks them tenderfeet) Easterners, eh? DOLLY. Mr. MacGinniss is. (Quickly and very pleasantly) Won't you have just a cup of coffee with us? And some hot biscuits? and some squirrel ? SIMP. (Grinning, pleased at prospect) Reckon I will. (He comes in, closing door after him) DOLLY. Won't you sit down? SIMP. (Back against door) N', thanks. (He keeps furtive eye on L. 3) DOLLY. You had better let me take your hat, then. SIMP. N', thanks. DOLLY. (Smiling') Supper won't be ready for quite a while. SIMP. N' hurry. (DOLLY goes to fire. SIMP watches her closely.) DOLLY. (Looking into coffee pot) You might as well be resting. SIMP. N', thanks. (Glancing L. 3) You two alone ? DOLLY. (Replenishing the fire) Yes, sir. (She goes down to table and picks up the basin of potatoes. As she goes up, smiling persuasively) Won't you please sit down? SIMP. (Satisfied that it is safe) Reckon I will. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 53 (As he goes towards table, SIMP glances at rear door significantly, and halts) Fetch it to me. DOLLY. (Blankly) What? SIMP. (Indicating chair) The chair. I hurt my foot the other day. DOLLY. (Obligingly) Certainly. (She takes chair to him ) SIMP. Thanks. (Places it against door and sits. DOLLY goes to water bucket) Been havin' any luck huntin' ? DOLLY. (Drolly but significantly) No, but I think I shall get a couple of bucks before the season closes. SIMP. One apiece, eh? DOLLY. (Puzzled) How do you mean ? SIMP. You and your husband. DOLLY. Maybe. (Pause') Do you think I'll get them? SIMP. No, I don't think you will. DOLLY. (Smiling} We'll see. (Approaches SIMP, bucket in hand) You will have to excuse me a moment. MACFARLAND. (Jumping up) Let me get the water ! (Instantly SIMP is on his feet, hand near to gun, watches MACFARLAND.) DOLLY. (To MACFARLAND) Lie down! (MAC- FARLAND obeys. To SIMP) If you please. (SiMP picks up chair with left hand. DOLLY opens the door and exits. SIMP watches her closely. MACFARLAND rises, SIMP closes door and places chair against it. MACFARLAND gets out of bed and stretches himself. DOLLY knocks on door. MACFARLAND sits on edge of bed, fearfully. DOLLY knocks on door. SIMP picks up the chair with left hand. DOLLY re-enters. As she looks at MACFARLAND he ducks back into 54 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE bed, and pulls covers up to his chin. DOLLY pleasantly to SIMP) You play poker, don't you? SIMP. Why? DOLLY. Mr. MacGinniss is a dreadfully poor player. I want you to teach him the fine points of the game. (Setting the bucket on the chair. DOLLY skips to the cupboard and takers a deck of cards therefrom. As she returns to SIMP who has been watching her curiously) They say you Westerners know more about cards than anyone in the world. (Smiling as she hands him the pack) You will teach him, won't you ? SIMP. (With a contemptible drawl as if despising anyone who can not play poker) Sure! (Accepts the cards. DOLLY exits, bucket in hand. SIMP closes the door, places the chair against it, and puts cards in jumper pocket. MACFARLAND throws covers back and sits up the moment SIMP closes door. SIMP, sitting) Where you from, Partner? MACFARLAND. New (Catching self, suspects SIMP) From the East. SIMP. (Taking sack of tobacco and cigarette papers from jumper pocket} Must have some purty nice women folk back there. MACFARLAND. Yes, but they aren't as fine as your Colorado girls. If they were, I would have married long ago. SIMP. {Surprised) Ain't this woman your wife? MACFARLAND. Not yet, but (Smiles hopefully, rises and crosses R.) SIMP. (Rolling cigarette) I see! (Grinning as he crimps end of cigarette} I see. (As SIMP lights the cigarette, MACFARLAND now at R. of table, gazes at him puzzledly) MACFARLAND. What ? SIMP. (Rising and pulling up schapps f and grin- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 55 ning) Then I guess she's just about as much mine as she is yourn. MACFARLAND. (Quickly) What do you mean ? SIMP. (Going towards him) You know what I mean. MACFARLAND. I do not. SIMP. (Now at L. side of table) You brought her up here, but if you keep her you've got to prove yourself a better man than me. MACFARLAND. (At side of table) What the devil are you driving at? SIMP. (Grinning) Have you got a gun? MACFARLAND. No. SIMP. Then we'll play for her. MACFARLAND. We will not ! SIMP. (Mildly emphatic, but with an oily smile) I say we will. Sit down. MACFARLAND. I tell you SIMP. Sit down. (Jerks out gun. MACFARLAND sits. Then oily) I said we'd play for the girl. (MACFARLAND rises, SIMP shoves gun at him) Sit down! (MACFARLAND obeys doggedly. SIMP tosses him the pack of cards) Shuffle! (Keeping his eyes constantly on MACFARLAND, SIMP goes to rear D. He picks up chair which has been against door, starts down towards table again) MACFARLAND. (As SIMP comes down) Now look here, this little girl is absolutely all right. SIMP. I said shuffle. And I mean it, too. (SiMP now at R. side of table, glares at MACFARLAND. MACFARLAND picks up cards, shuffles them. SIMP puts gun in holster. MACFARLAND puts cards in front of SIMP. SIMP cuts them. MACFARLAND picks them up and begins dealing them one at a time, alternately. As he is dealing them, the rear door opens quietly and DOLLY enters. Her revolver is leveled at SIMP. Neither he nor MACFARLAND see DOLLY) 56 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Calmly, from inside doorway) Simp! (SiMP springs to his feet and grabs for his gun. Dramatically emphatic) Don't touch it! Don't touch it! (SIMP'S hands drop at his side) Throw up your hands. I (With a powerful blow, SIMP sweeps the candle from the table, extinguishing it. The men scuffle, upsetting chairs and table.) MACFARLAND. (As they scuffle) Don't shoot, Dolly ! Don't shoot ! (The fight continues a few moments, then SIMP suddenly cries out with pain.) SIMP. Stop ! ! Stop ! ! For God's sake, stop ! ! MACFARLAND. Kneel! Miss Dolly! DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. Light the gas. DOLLY. Gas ? Who ever heard of gas up here ! (She rushes to the cupboard, and a moment later, strikes a match and lights a candle taken from cup- board. As she comes down with candle, the men are revealed somewhat to R. of c. MACFARLAND is sitting on SIMP'S back, with one of SIMP'S thumbs in each of his hands. DOLLY, revolver in one hand, candle in other, goes to them. In amazement to MACFARLAND) How in the world did you ever do it? MACFARLAND. Jiu Jitz. DOLLY. " Juie " him some more till I find his gun. SIMP. Who is that little devil? MACFARLAND. Dolly Kamman. SIMP. Not Buck Kamman's kid? MACFARLAND. Yes. Is he a friend of yours? SIMP. Not by a damn sight ! (Struggles to get loose) Let me go! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 57 DOLLY. Simp, where's your gun? MACFARLAND. What did you do with it? Answer her. SIMP. You knocked it out of my hand. It's on the floor. MACFARLAND. (To DOLLY) Look under the table. ( DOLLY goes to table, which is now on its side, and, among the legs, finds SIMP'S gun.) DOLLY. I have it. MACFARLAND. (To SIMP, a? DOLLY shoves his gun into her own holster) Stand up or I'll break your thumbs ! SIMP. (Getting up, MACFARLAND pulling him} I'll get you for this ! MACFARLAND. I've got you first! (To DOLLY) Tie his hands, Miss Dolly. (DOLLY picks up one of the bed ropes and ties SIMP'S wrists together, behind his back) That's the stuff! DOLLY. Now put him to bed. MACFARLAND. (To SIMP, triumphantly) Now you go to bed. (Throws him into bed and jumps on top of him) DOLLY. (Giving MACFARLAND another rope) Tie his feet, Mr. MacGinniss. (SiMP kicks wildly.) MACFARLAND. If he kicks me, shoot him. ('SiMP stops kicking and MACFARLAND ties his ankles together.) DOLLY. (To MACFARLAND, ds he rises from his task) Thank you very much, Mr. MacGinniss. MACFARLAND. (Smiling) The pleasure is all mine. Now I shall help you guard him. 58 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Pleasantly) You shall go back to bed. MACFARLAND. (Dumb founded) What? DOLLY. (Pleasantly commandatory) Go back to bed. MACFARLAND. (Indicating SIMP) With him? DOLLY. (With admiration) Mr. MacGinniss, you are a brave man, and I am deeply grateful for what you have done, but you are a fugitive from justice and it is my duty to take you to jail. (At "Fugitive from Justice", SIMP rolls over on side and stares at MACFARLAND, in amaze- ment.) MACFARLAND. Do you visit your papa's jail often? DOLLY. No, but I could. MACFARLAND. Will you? DOLLY. Perhaps, but until you are in my father's jail back to bed. MACFARLAND. (Humbly but pleasantly) Yes, ma'am. (To SIMP, savagely, as he crawls into bed) Get over ! DOLLY. (Leaning against edge of table) Well, I said I'd get a couple of bucks before the season closed. Curtain BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 59 ACT III SCENE: Two days later. Sheriff KAM MAN'S office in the County Jail Building, Delta, Colorado. Morning. It is an untidy room. Roughly furnished and seldom swept. Rear wall c. A heavy black iron door with bolt, lock and white painted sign: "No Admit- tance." When this door is opened the interior of the cell room can be seen. To R. of door, a black bulletin board upon which are tacked several "Lost strayed or stolen" and "Re- ward" bulletins. In the c. of the board, and well spaced from the other notices, is an un- usually large and boldly printed circular read- ing: "$5,000 Reward!!!! For the Capture of George MacGinniss. Description To L. of door a large clothes cabinet with double doors. It serves the dual purpose of clothes closet and arsenal. Contains rifles, shot guns, hand-cuffs, etc. Right wall: R. 4. a door opening upon the street. On its exterior side in large black letters is painted " County Jail ". In smaller letters beneath that: "Sheriff's Office". R. 2, a window with iron bars. Against the wall, be- 6o BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE tween window and door an old, faded, black haircloth couch. Above the couch hangs a large map of Colorado. It is hung crooked. Left wall: A large map of the United States. It, too, hangs crooked. Rear corner, a medium- sized square iron safe upon the top of which is a stack of old record books untidly arranged. Lower c. an old flat top desk, letter littered, with a telephone upon it, a pivot chair behind it and a willow waste-basket to R. of it. An old spittoon to L. of it. The walls and floor of the room are painted a lead gray. The room is discovered empty, both doors closed. Enter WRENN the Jailer, singing " Little Fishes in the Brook." WRENN is lazy but good- natured. Wears old black trousers, and a black sateen shirt open at the throat. Big officer's star on breast. WRENN is carrying an empty glass tumbler. He enters rear D. c., closes cell room door, comes down to desk, opens upper drawer, takes a whiskey flask therefrom, holds flask up, admires its contents, pours some whiskey into the tumbler, replaces flask in desk and closes the drawer. Enter DOLLY, R. D. She wears dark skirt, light waist and is bareheaded. Very pretty and buoyant. As she enters DOLLY. (Jovially and buoyantly and with likable familiarity) Hello, Wrenn. WRENN. (Jovially as DOLLY closes door) Hello, Dolly. DOLLY. (Eagerly) How is my prisoner ? WRENN. Which one? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 61 DOLLY. MacGinniss, of course. WRENN. Stiff and sore. DOLLY. (Quickly and anxiously) He isn't sick, is he? WRENN. No, but he says he wishes he was dead. DOLLY. (Astonished) What? WRENN. He says, he wished you'd hit him back of the ear with a club and hauled him into town on a pack horse. DOLLY. Why? WRENN. He has blisters on his feet as big as flapjacks. (Chuckles) DOLLY. I offered to let him ride Molly part of the way. WRENN. He was telling me about it. DOLLY. What did he say? WRENN. He said it was a case of getting blistered either way riding or walking. (Chuckles) T)OLLY. It's no laughing matter. If it hadn't been for him I could never have gotten Simp Galloway down here alive. (Indicating tumbler from which WRENN has been sipping) Is that for Mr. Mac- Ginniss ? WRENN. (Contemplating remainder of contents) Well, it was for him. DOLLY. I'll take it to him. WRENN. No. I've had strict orders from your fatfier not to let no one see the prisoners. DOLLY. Give it to me. WRENN. But your father said (DOLLY takes tumbler from him, then ) DOLLY. Give me the key to his cell. WRENN. No, Dolly, I've had strict orders from your father not to let no one see the prisoners. DOLLY. Whose prisoners are they, anyhow? WRENN. But your father said DOLLY. Give me thai key. 62 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE WRENN. (Remonstratively) But your father said, Dolly your father said DOLLY. (After stamping her foot emphatically) I said,, give me that key. WRENN. (As he reluctantly places key on desk) There she is, but if you take her you take her at your own risk. DOLLY. (Pleasantly as she picks up the key) Thank you. WRENN. That lets me out. (DOLLY goes to rear D. with key and tumbler.) DOLLY. (At rear D.) Has father heard from the New York officers yet? WRENN. Nope. (As DOLLY exits rear D.) Now remember, you're doing that at your own risk. If anything happens (Exit DOLLY rear door, closing it behind he f self. Enter KAMMAN R. D. He is fresh shaven, wears a clean suit of light green corduroy, well oiled boots with tops under trousers' legs, and a new Stetson hat. In one hand carries a box of cigars and in the other a telegram.) KAMMAN. (Jubilantly) He's the man, Wrenn. (Coming to desk) Listen to this: (Reading tele- gram) "Hold MacGinniss. Am sending officers with extradition papers. Arthur Sole. New York City." (Slapping WRENN on back) Now tell me my Dolly girl isn't a hero ! WRENN. (Examining telegram) I always said the people of this here County should have elected her Sheriff instead of her Dad. KAMMAN. (Offering box of cigars to WRENN) Have one on Dolly. (WRENN takes one) Take a handful. WRENN. (As he takes several) No, one's BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 03 enough; one's enough. (Pocketing cigars") Thank you, Buck. KAMMAN. (Pocketing telegram} Thank Dolly. (He puts box of cigar's in upper drawer of desk and taking another telegram from pocket frowns at it) But here is a telegram that does put the blind bridles on me. (He rests his foot on bottom of pivot chair and reads:) " Handle MacGinniss tenderly. Give him three square meals, plenty of sleep and lots of exercise." WRENN. (Biting off end of cigar) That is a heller. KAMMAN. And listen to this : " Deprive him of none of the luxuries of life. Signed Arthur Sole ". WRENN. A blue-blooded crook, eh? KAMMAN. Looks that way -(As he pockets tele- gram) Well, give him anything he wants, Wrenn. New York's paying for it. WRENN. Suppose he asks for a bucket of champagne ? KAMMAN. Wire to Denver and get it. But say, Wrenn, doesn't it strike you kind of queer that this New Yorker and Simp Galloway were feeding on the same range at the same time ? WRENN. No, no. They're pals. Working to- gether. For all we know, maybe they had some- thing framed up on the bank right here in town. You know, Simp is supposed to have had a hand in that bank robbery over near Salt Lake City. KAMMAN. I guess we'll keep a pretty close eye on that New Yorker even if he is blue-blooded. (He winks wisely at WRENN and picks tip telegram) WRENN. (Goes up c.) I'll hobble him right now. KAMMAN. (In telephone as WRENN starts up) Number 12, please. (Glancing up) Wrenn. (In 'phone as WRENN comes down R.) Try it again, please. (To WRENN) Would you call preserved peaches and custard pie luxuries? 64 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE WRENN. I sure would. KAMMAN. I'm 'phoning Martha to bring some down to MacGinniss. (In 'phone} Not in? all right. (To WRENN as he hangs up receiver) Wrenn, I laid awake all last night thinking of some way to show Dolly how much I appreciate the pluck she showed in landing this man MacGinniss, and do you know what I've decided to do ? WRENN. Buy her a six-shooter? KAMMAN. I've decided to make her a deputy sheriff. WRENN. Great. (They shake hands) KAMMAN. On my way down here this morning I dropped into Charley Frazier's store and told him to send down the best roll-top desk he had in the shebang. (Strutting L., hands behind back) It's a dinger, too, a little fellow with lots of cubbyholes and a green felt blotting pad and a little oak chair. (Returning R.) I'm going to put it over there where the lounge is. Come on, let's toss this old incubator out of the jail right now. (They cross to the couch and pick it u-p. KAMMAN at the down end and WRENN in shirt sleeves at up end, when Enter MARTHA R. 4. She is a well-built woman of forty and wears a calico house-dress and a calico sun bonnet) Hello, Martha. I just 'phoned up to you. (They lift lounge.) MARTHA. (Alarmed) What has happened? KAMMAN. Nothing, I just wanted you to send down some luxuries to MacGinniss. MARTHA. (Gravely going to desk) Is Dorothy here? KAMMAN. Not yet. MARTHA. That disturbs me. KAMMAN. (Halting) Why? MARTHA. (Worried) She said she was coming down to administer to her prisoners. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 65 KAMMAN. She probably went to the post-office first. MARTHA. Possibly. But when she comes, please do not let her talk to the prisoners. KAMMAN. (Resting his end of the couch on the floor) I have already given Wrenn strict orders not to let anyone see the prisoners in my absence. (WRENN holds his end of couch.) MARTHA. That was very thoughtful of you, Bertram. (KAMMAN picks up end of couch} You know, girls at Dorothy's age are inclined to be a bit romantic. KAMMAN. Not Dolly. (Puts down his end of couch) She's a deputy sheriff now. (WRENN gets angry but holds on to his end of couch.) MARTHA. (Going towards him) I do not wish to be severe with the child (KAMMAN picks up couch) But if sister Belle were living (KAMMAN rests couch on floor. WRENN drops it and sits on couch disgusted.) KAMMAN. (His hand gently on MARTHA'S shoulder) I understand, Martha. I won't let her see the prisoners. I've told Wrenn not to let any- one see them and he always obeys my orders. WRENN. (Greatly agitated and trying to get BUCK off the subject) Give me a light, Buck. (KAMMAN hands him his cigar. Enter DOLLY rear D.) MARTHA. (Shocked) Porothy ! 66 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Merrily) Hello, everybody. KAMMAN. (Severely going toward her) What are you doing in there? DOLLY. (Closing door) Watering my five- thousand dollar prisoner. MARTHA. (To KAMMAN) There you are! KAMMAN. (To WRENN) I thought I gave you strict orders not to WRENN. (To DOLLY) See! DOLLY. (Prettily independent to KAMMAN) He's my prisoner. If I want to feed him I am going to feed him. If I want to talk to him I am going to talk to him. (Shaking finger playfully severe at him) And I am going to do it when I please where I please and if you don't like it ('Phone rings.) KAMMAN. (At 'phone, DOLLY to R. of him) Hello Yes, this is Buck Kamman. (Excited) What ? The bank at Grand Junction ? Headed this way? You bet your life I'll chase them. (Hangs up receiver) DOLLY. (At his side, intensely interested) What's happened? KAMMAN. The bank at Grand Junction was held up not fifteen minutes ago. Three masked men shot the cashier, held up the clerks and got away with twenty thousand dollars. (He rushes to cabinet) DOLLY. Really ? KAMMAN. (Taking his Colts belt from cabinet) Thone for Monk! DOLLY. (In 'phone) 24 please. And hurry! WRENN. (To KAMMAN) Is there anything I can do, Buck? KAMMAN. (To WRENN, as he puts on spurs) Put a ball and chain on MacGinniss. WRENN. Put she is, Buck. (He pushes couch back where it was) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 67 MARTHA. (To KAMMAN who is putting on an old coat} Do be careful, Bertram. DOLLY. (In 'phone} For heaven's sake, hurry! MARTHA. (Her hand on KAMMAN'S shoulder} Don't get shot if you can help it, Bertram. (Enter MACFARLAND, rear i. MARTHA screams. DOLLY startled, drops the receiver. WRENN and KAMMAN instantly cover MACFARLAND with Colts} MACFARLAND. (Calmly, with palms upraised to KAMMAN and WRENN) Don't shoot, don't shoot. I'm not going to run away. (To KAMMAN) What are the prospects of getting into communication with a real good cigar? DOLLY. Bright. MARTHA. (Shocked} Dorothy! (DOLLY goes quickly to her father, frisks his vest, takes a cigar and starts tozvard MACFARLAND. MARTHA about to intercede} Dorothy! DOLLY. (To MARTHA) They were made to smoke. (She gives it to MACFARLAND) MACFARLAND. (Taking cigar and bowing} I thank you. (To WRENN, going toward him} Match please. (WRENN backs away from him. DOLLY goes to her father. He hands her a match. She lights it on her father's gun and hands it to MAC- FARLAND. MACFARLAND accepting it} I thank you. (To KAMMAN, as he calmly lights cigar} Going some place, Sheriff? MARTHA. Your comrades in crime have robbed a bank. MACFARLAND. Not my comrades. I'm an Elk. (To KAMMAN, genially} Don't you want a nice, bright young man to help you, Sheriff ? KAMMAN. (Handing DOLLY rifle from cabinet} Watch him. (To WRENN, warningly} Come on! Maybe Simp is out, too. (KAMMAN rushes off rear} WRENN. (Following him} Come on, she ^s, Buck. (Exits rear} 68 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. (To DOLLY) You are looking very nice this morning. MARTHA. (Severely) Are you attempting to make bold with my niece ? MACFARLAND. I am not. (He hastens toward DOLLY) MARTHA. Stop ! (DOLLY covers him with rifle. He puts his hand to pistol pocket.) DOLLY. Throw up your hands. MACFARLAND. (Holding up cell key which he has taken from pocket) The key. ( DOLLY lowers rifle. He goes to her} You left it in the lock of my cell. MARTHA. (Shocked) Dorothy! MACFARLAND. (Pleasantly) Don't do it again. If some one else had found it, it might have em- barrassed you. (Puts key on end of DOLLY'S rifle) DOLLY. (Deeply grateful) Thank you ! Oh, how I thank you ! KAMMAN. (Re-entering rear door) Get back to your cell. MACFARLAND. (To KAMMAN) Just a moment. (To DOLLY, as she slips the key into the pocket' of her waist) Did you send those telegrams to New York for me last evening? DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. (Anxiously) Sure you didn't make any mistake? Arthur Sole and Thornton Brown ? DOLLY. Yes Thornton Brown and Arthur Sole. MACFARLAND. Good! (To DOLLY) You know they're my best friends and they said if I ever got arrested to KAMMAN. (Stepping between MACFARLAND and DOLLY) Get back to your cell. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 69 MACFARLAND. (To KAMMAN) Can't you see that you are interrupting a very pleasant conversa- tion? KAMMAN. Shut up! MACFARLAND. I am shut up. (Starting toward rear D. escorted by KAMMAN) Say, what right have you to try to make me stop talking? There's nothing in the Constitution that says you can make a man shut up, even if he is in jail. (Exits rear D. followed by KAMMAN) MARTHA. (Severely} Dorothy Kamman, were you in that man's cell? (DOLLY, as though not hearing her, takes key from pocket and gazes be- wilder edly at it) Answer me! Were you in his cell? DOLLY. Partly. MARTHA. (Shocked) Oh! DOLLY. I handed him some water and a glass. (Picks up the telephone receiver. In 'phone ) Hello haven't you got the livery stable yet? Hurry Hello, Gord Send Monk down to the jail right away Don't stop to feed him And, Gord, if any of the boys are there send them right down on fresh horses Grand Junction's been held up (As she hangs up receiver, MARTHA crosses to her and lays her hand gently on DOLLY'S shoulder) MARTHA. I trust this has taught you a lesson. (DOLLY does not seem to hear her. Her mind is on the key) You must not think that simply because you fortunately captured two disreputable thieves you are a grown woman. That bold New Yorker is no gentleman and I am pained to see you DOLLY. (Absent-mindedly but emphatic) Go to bed ! MARTHA. Dorothy ! DOLLY. (Kindly) Oh, I didn't mean to say that. Please go home. MARTHA. (In mellowing voice which stimulates 70 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE genuine sympathy) You forget that I am your Aunt. DOLLY. (Gently taking MARTHA'S hand in her own) No I don't, but when we are ourselves again we will talk it over, calmly. ( DOLLY kisses her) MARTHA. That is better, much better. (MARTHA kisses DOLLY, and exits, R. 3) (DOLLY gazes at key and crosses to desk L. c. Re-enter KAMMAN, rear D. -frowning per- plexedly.} KAMMAN. (Coming down to desk tvhere DOLLY now stands) How did that man get out? (DOLLY hands him the key) Did you give him this? DOLLY. (Fingering lock of rifle ivhich lies on desk) I handed him a glass of water, and left it in the lock. KAMMAN. (Astonished at her carelessness) What? DOLLY. That is why he came out. He was afraid someone else might find it there and embarrass me. KAMMAN. Did he say that ? DOLLY. Yes. (KAMMAN scratches his chin pensively) Father, that man is no criminal. KAMMAN. (Quickly) What do you mean? DOLLY. I mean he is not the criminal we think he is. KAMMAN. (Close to her) Now don't get senti- mental, Dolly. You pulled off something pretty good when you caught those two outlaws single- handed. Now don't up and spoil it. DOLLY. (With simple sincerity, looking up into his face) I know what I know. KAMMAN. What do you know? DOLLY. (Solemnly) I know that that man is a man. (KAMMAN puts his hand to her forehead, then picks up 'phone) I 'phoned for Monk. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 71 / KAMMAN. I'm going to 'phone for a doctor. DOLLY. (Puzzled) What for? KAMMAN. The nervous strain of the past three days is getting the best of you. DOLLY. Nonsense ! ( Takes 'phone from him and sets it on desk) WRENN. (Re-entering rear D. Marveling at MACFARLAND'S nerve in asking such a question') Say, what do you know about that? (Chuckles) KAMMAN. What? WRENN. (Crossing toward couch) MacGinniss wants to know if he can go out walking this after- noon? (Sits on couch and laughs) KAMMAN. (To WRENN) Take that key. I'm going after those bank robbers and I don't want anything else on my mind. Dolly, I have a little surprise for you. DOLLY. What? KAMMAN. Just to show how much I appreciate that little trick you turned the other night, I've made you a deputy sheriff. ( DOLLY springs at his neck, clasps her arms about it and hugs him.) (KAMMAN kisses her many times. Horses' hoofs are heard off R. They approach rapidly. WRENN hastens to R. 2 window.) KAMMAN. Is it Monk? WRENN. Yes, and a bunch of the boys. KAMMAN. (To DOLLY, surprised, pleased) Did you tell them to come down? DOLLY. Yes. WRENN. (As KAMMAN kisses DOLLY again) She's learning fast, Buck. KAMMAN. (Proudly) She doesn't have to learn; she knows already. 72 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (DOLLY kisses him and he goes to R. D. quickly.) KAMMAN. (At R. D.) Now whatever you do, don't let anybody in; and for heaven's sake, don't let anybody out. Good-bye. (Exiting, off R. as DOLLY followed by WRENN hastens to R. 4) Hello, boys ! Something doing ! COWBOYS. (Off right} Whoop-ee! (The sound of many hoofs riding away. DOLLY ivaves her handkerchief at the departing horse- men. WRENN waves his blue bandana. They wave until the sound of hoofs dies away.) WRENN. (As they go down towards desk) Dolly, have you any idea how MacGinniss got out of his cell? DOLLY. (Mysteriously) I shouldn't be a bit surprised. (Beckons him to her) WRENN. (In bated breath) How? DOLLY. He walked out. WRENN. (Furious) This is no joking matter! DOLLY. (Tidying the desk) Do you think a deputy sheriff would joke with a jailer? WRENN. (At R. end of desk) Now don't get fresh, Dolly. DOLLY. (Face to face with him, hands clenched) You may be several pounds heavier than I am, Wrenn Wrigley, but remember, in the absence of my father, I am sheriff. WRENN. If you were a kid of mine, Dolly Kam- man, I would spank you good. DOLLY. (Shaking her forefinger at him) I will give you just one minute to apologize. (Marked pause) WRENN. (Fusses, then extending his hand and smiling broadly) I apologize. Ice cream or sodie water ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 73 DOLLY. (As they shake hands) Do you really think Mr. MacGinniss is a bad man? WRENN. I know it. DOLLY. How do you know it? WRENN. Your father heard from the New York officers. (Looking about desk for telegrams) Got two telegrams. DOLLY. What did they say? WRENN. (Looking in waste-basket) The first OHC said " He's the hoss, hold him. (WRENN examines the contents of basket) The other said, " Give him a good bed, and feed him lots of oats, and give him lots of currying." DOLLY. (Crosses R. to window) They don't talk that way in New York City. WRENN. (Crosses L. of desk) No, but that's what they meant. They called it the luxuries of life. I guess your father took them telegrams with him. DOLLY. There must be some mistake. Mr. Mac- Ginniss is too much of a gentleman to be a criminal. WRENN. (Smiling) Oh, shucks! How many criminals have you know'd? DOLLY. (After short pause) Fetch him out. WRENN. (Loudly) Your father said DOLLY. Fetch him out! WRENN. (More quietly) But your father said DOLLY. Fetch him out ! I want to question him. WRENN. (Exasperated but helpless) All right ! All right ! But you do it at your own risk. Don't forget that. (He goes up to rear D. DOLLY crosses L. and sits at desk) Shall I take off the ball and chain ? DOLLY. No. WRENN. (Humbly, as a last effort to dissuade her) Now, Dolly ( DOLLY points at rear D. WRENN sees it is useless, and loses his temper) 74 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Let 'era all out! I don't care. Let 'em all out! (Exit WRENN, closing door) (Slight pause during which DOLLY sits at desk and begins to tidy it. Enter VIOLET R. 4. A tall chemical blonde wearing a heliotrope skimp skirt, many rings, much rouge and a large picture hat with heliotrope plumes. She carries a newspaper cornucopia containing an immense bouquet of native flowers.) VIOLET. (Chirply, as she closes the door) Hello ! DOLLY. (With official dignity) How do you do. VIOLET. (Smiling blandly as she approaches desk) I just dropped in a few moments to give Mr. Galloway some flowers. DOLLY. Is he a friend of yours? VIOLET. (Taking bouquet from cornucopia) An old sweetheart, Honey. (Holding up bouquet) Ain't them just luscious ! (The stem of the bouquet is quite long and heavily wrapped with tinfoil on which is wound black thread.) DOLLY. What is your name? VIOLET. Violet. DOLLY. Violet what ? VIOLET. You're getting inquisitive, Honey. (She starts up) DOLLY. (Following her) I will take them to him. VIOLET. (Smirking at her over her shoulder) You needn't mind. DOLLY. (Emphatically) I said I would take them to him. VIOLET. (Pleasantly, without looking around) I heard you, Honey. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 75 DOLLY. (Taking hold of her arm) I mean it, too, VIOLET. (Facing her and sizing her up, with arched eyebrows) Just who do you think you are? DOLLY. The deputy sheriff of this county. VIOLET. You ? (She bursts out laughing. DOLLY clenches hands. VOLET chucks DOLLY under the chin with bouquet) Say, I like you! Where's Wrenn ? DOLLY. Never mind Wrenn. If those flowers are for Simp Galloway, give them to me. VIOLET. The nerve! DOLLY. Then leave this office. VIOLET. Why, you impudent little devil ! DOLLY. You heard me, didn't you? VIOLET. Yes, and if you give me another word of your sass (She draws back her hand. DOLLY begins to roll up her sleeves) Going to throw me out, eh? (She laughs heartily. DOLLY crosses to door R. Enter WRENN rear D. c.) Hello, Wrenn. (She extends her hand familiarly and stops laugh- ing) WRENN. (Perplexedly surprised) I thought you went to California. VIOLET. (Hand still extended) I did, but (Enter MACFARLAND. In his left hand an iron ball, the chain of which is fastened to an iron band about his ankle; in his right hand the cigar, still lighted. VIOLET recognises MACFARLAND, surprised but glad to see him) Well, look who's here? (Going to him, hand still extended) Why, how do you do? ( DOLLY crosses back to L. of desk.) MACFARLAND. (Calmly smoking) Nicely, thank you, but have I ever seen you before? VIOLET. (Smiling) Of course you have. MACFARLAND. (Casually surveying her) I don't recall you. 76 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE VIOLET. (With affected coyness) Probably not. (Nipping a rose petal with her lips) The last time you saw me I was in a bathing suit. DOLLY. (Shrewdly) Where? VIOLET. None of your business. MACFARLAND. Where ? VIOLET. (Pleasantly) Long Beach, California. DOLLY. (Quickly to MACFARLAND) Were you ever there ? MACFARLAND. Once but I am sure I didn't see this lady. VIOLET. (Smiling coquettishly) Oh yes you did. MACFARLAND. (Mimicking) Oh no I didn't. VIOLET. Last New Year's day. (MACFARLAND shakes his head) You saved my life. DOLLY. Did you? MACFARLAND. (To DOLLY) The woman I saved was a brunette. VIOLET. (Flecking a flower, with girlish modesty) Last winter, I was a brunette. (WRENN up L. snickers. DOLLY glances at him. He instantly becomes dignified.) DOLLY. (To MACFARLAND) What were you doing at Long Beach? MACFARLAND. (Flecking his cigar gravely) Watching the waves come in. (VIOLET snickers, then bursts out laughing and slaps MACFARLAND on the back.) VIOLET. (Joshing him, broadly) Watching the waves come in ! DOLLY. (To WRENN, disgusted) Take him back. (WRENN takes hold of MACFARLAND'S arm. DOLLY starts down c.) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 77 MACFARLAND. Miss Kamman. (DOLLY glances over her shoulder} Did you wish to speak to me? DOLLY. I did but I don't now. MACFARLAND. Why not? DOLLY. (To WRENN) Take him back! (WRENN tugs at MACFARLAND'S arm.) MACFARLAND. (To DOLLY) But you said WRENN. Come on! (He pulls MACFARLAND rear) VIOLET. (Blandly) Wait a minute, Wrenn. (WRENN stops. VIOLET goes to MACFARLAND) I want to give you these flowers as a hero medal. (She hands him the bouquet) MACFARLAND. Thank you, Miss Carnegie. VIOLET. Don't mention it. (She starts toward R. 4) DOLLY. (To WRENN, who is exiting with MAC- FARLAND) Stop! (To VIOLET) Wait! I thought you said those flowers were for Simp Calloway. VIOLET. What of it? DOLLY. Is this man another old sweetheart of yours? (VIOLET laughs) Is he? VIOLET. He saved my life, Honey that's all. DOLLY. (Suspiciously) Is that all? VIOLET. That's what I said, didn't I? (She continues her way to R. 4) MACFARLAND. Just a moment, Miss Carnegie. (Quietly to WRENN) Does she know Simp? WRENN. (Confidentially) Pals for twenty years. MACFARLAND. (To WRENN) Watch me. WRENN. Sure. That's what I'm paid for. MACFARLAND. (To VIOLET) I want you to tell me the names of these flowers, please. (He goes towards desk and puts ball in waste basket) VIOLET. (Going to desk) Sure if I can. DOLLY. (Going to WRENN, who is at rear D. c.) I thought I told you to take him back ! 78 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (WRENN presses his forefinger to his lips a/nd with a gesture tells her to let MACFARLAND alone. Together they -watch the couple from rear L.) MACFARLAND. (Laying bouquet on desk; to VIOLET now at R. end) I have studied botany but some of these Colorado flowers baffle me com- pletely. VIOLET. (Sympathetically) That's too bad. MACFARLAND. They are pretty but puzzling. VIOLET. (Petting the bouquet) Oh, you puzzling posies ! MACFARLAND. (To WRENN) Lend me your knife. WRENN. (Giving knife to him) Sure. VIOLET. (As he takes knife) What are you cooing to do? MACFARLAND. Vivisect the flowers. (He opens knife and cuts the thread about the bouquet) VIOLET. (As MACFARLAND cuts the thread) The flowers ain't down there. MACFARLAND. (Returning knife to WRENN) I know, but once, when I was wintering in Italy (He has been unwrapping the foil. Suddenly he pulls the bouquet in twain, shredding it with his fingers. A large skeleton key and a small three- cornered file fall to the desk. VIOLET 'snatches them. MACFARLAND seizes her by the wrist and WRENN runs to R. D.) DOLLY. (Completely surprised) Oh! MACFARLAND. (Tightening his grip on her wrist) Just a moment, if you please. (Uttering cry of pain, VIOLET drops the key and file. MAC- FARLAND hands them to DOLLY) Permit me a skeleton key and a file. (To VIOLET) Did you know they were there ? VIOLET. No. DOLLY. You are lying. (To WRENN) Put her BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 79 in cell Number 3, and don't take your eyes off her until I come. WRENN. (After taking her by wrist} Shall I search her? DOLLY. No, a woman can't hide anything in that kind of a dress. VIOLET. (Scathingly to MACFARLAND, who ^is Assorting the flowers} I thought I was dealing with a man. DOLLY. You were. VIOLET. A Y. M. C. A. boy, not a man. MACFARLAND. (Perfunctorily} Thank you. VIOLET. (Enraged, jumps at MACFARLAND) You WRENN. None of that now ! (He urges her up} VIOLET. (To WRENN) I'll take my time to it. (To MACFARLAND. as WRENN pulls her toward rear D.) Y. M. C. A! Mama's little baby boy! Y. M. C. A. WRENN. (Tugging at her to pull her thru door- way} I Must C. U. (I must see you.) VIOLET. (To WRENN) Stop jerking me ! (She hits him on jaw and they exit rowing. DOLLY closes door} MACFARLAND. (To DOLLY) Gee, I hated to do that, but our little jail must be protected. DOLLY. (Coining down} Mr. MacGinniss, you are the queerest criminal I ever knew. MACFARLAND. (Tying flowers which he has been putting together} Thank you and permit me to observe that you are the queerest officer I ever knew. (R. end of desk} DOLLY. (Shreivdly, at up side of desk} How many officers have you known ? MACFARLAND. Enough to convince me that a clever man can dodge all of them unless he meets one like you. DOLLY. Explain yourself. 80 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. (Wrapping foil about bouquet} I beg to be excused. DOLLY. As an officer of the law, I demand an explanation. MACFARLAND. As your humble prisoner, I insist upon profound silence. DOLLY. Why? MACFARLAND. (Offering her bouquet} Will you accept this little bouquet with my compliments ? DOLLY. (Ignoring it} I can't understand you at all, Mr. MacGinniss. MACFARLAND. (Picking up iron ball) No. DOLLY. No. You are brave and polite and in- telligent, and yet you forged. MACFARLAND. (Smiling} A regular jig-saw puzzle. (With the iron ball in one hand and bouquet in other he starts up) DOLLY. Where are you going? MACFARLAND. To enjoy the floral solitude of cell No. 2. DOLLY. (Indicating couch. Commandingly) Sit down. MACFARLAND. Yes, ma'am. (He crosses to couch and sits) DOLLY. (As she takes gun holster from cabinet) Just who are you, Mr. MacGinniss? (During the following, DOLLY straps holster around her waist and going down to desk, leans against R. side of it while cross-examining MACFARLAND) MACFARLAND. (Simply) MacGinniss. DOLLY. Yes, but who are you? MACFARLAND. (Caressing ball and chain) Do I look like Washington crossing the Delaware? DOLLY. Really, now MACFARLAND. (Proudly) I am a bird of pas- sage flitting hither and thither o'er the broad green expanse of America, and I (He has risen in his enthusiasm) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 81 DOLLY. Sit down. MACFARLAND. Yes, ma'am. (He sits, placing iron ball on the floor} DOLLY. (Very gravely) You are a forger, Mr. MacGinniss ? MACFARLAND. I beg your pardon I forged but I am not a forger. (He has risen) DOLLY. Sit down. MACFARLAND. (Obeying) Yes, ma'am. DOLLY. (Crossing to c.) You are a forger but you are something more. MACFARLAND. Now what ha\e you discovered? DOLLY. I have discovered that you are a man. (MACFARLAND rises and bows politely) Sit down. MACFARLAND. But DOLLY. Sit down MACFARLAND. (Humbly) Yes, ma'am. (He sits) DOLLY. I suspected you were a man the moment I saw you. MACFARLAND. Ah, Lady Clifford. You make me blush. (Hides face behind bouquet) DOLLY. If you had not said what you did, I should never have suspected you of being anything else. MACFARLAND. (Rising anxiously) Am I any- thing else ? DOLLY. If only you had not said " Believe me, Xantippe ". MACFARLAND. (Disgusted with himself) I'll never say it again Believe me, X (Checks him- self, then starts towards her penitently) Is that profanity out here? DOLLY. No, but it told me who you were, and what you were. MACFARLAND. Miss Kamman (Unable to drag the ball, MACFARLAND returns to it, picks it up and carrying it, goes to the desk, thoughtfully. DOLLY S2 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE is gazing sadly front) Miss Kamman, I am not what you think I am. DOLLY. Then why did you forge that check? MACFARLAND. I didn't really forge it. DOLLY. You just said so. MACFARLAND. (Puts iron ball on table) There is a little a little mystery connected with this affair, Miss Kamman. DOLLY. (Watching him cl&sely) There is a big mystery. MACFARLAND. (Humoring her) Very well a big mystery. DOLLY. Can't you clear it up? MACFARLAND. (Lower i. facing her) It will clear itself up. DOLLY. When ? MACFARLAND. As soon as I hear from those telegrams you sent to New York last night. DOLLY. To Arthur Sole and Thornton Brown? MACFARLAND. (Crossing to her) Yes. They are my friends and will explain everything every- thing. DOLLY. (Slowly, joyfully apprehensive) Do you mean to tell me that MACFARLAND. I don't mean to tell you anything. (They are now face to face) DOLLY. You just said MACFARLAND. In time the truth will all come >ut. I am an innocent man. DOLLY. Then prove it. MACFARLAND. I can't. DOLLY. You just said you could. MACFARLAND. And I can, too. DOLLY. Then do it. MACFARLAND. I can't. I must not. I am honor- bound not to say a word until ( DOLLY gazes at him with mingled mystery and contempt) You think I'm lying, don't you? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 83 DOLLY. Can you blame me? You tell me you are innocent. I ask you to prove it. You say you can't. Then you say you can. Then you say you can't. Mr. MacGinniss, I want to believe that you are innocent, but (She pauses a moment, then shakes her head) MACFARLAND. (Resting ball on L. end of desk) Miss Dolly, when the proper time comes, Brown and Sole will explain everything I promise you they will (She looks at him with quiet emotion) Miss Kamman, after I have proved to you that I am not a criminal after I have proved beyond all doubt that I am an innocent, honest, honorable, hard- working citizen -(He lays his hand gently upon hers) DOLLY. (With quiet firmness) Until you have proved that, remember you are a prisoner of the law and I the deputy sheriff of this county. (She takes his hand off hers and puts it on desk) MACFARLAND. Yes, ma'am. (They gaze into each other's faces several moments, gravely. ) DOLLY. (Hopefully) Are you sure your friends can explain everything? MACFARLAND. Everything. DOLLY. Can they explain Violet? MACFARLAND. Violet who? DOLLY. Violet Bathing Suit. MACFARLAND. Oh, I can explain that myself. DOLLY. Then do it. MACFARLAND. I spent the holidays on the Pacific Coast. New Year's afternoon I was at Long Beach. Many were bathing. I wasn't. Violet ven- tured out too far, the undertow caught her and carried her to sea. I heard her scream, jumped in, swam to her assistance And there you are. DOLLY. It is strange you did not remember her. 84 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MACFARLAND. Well you see DOLLY. Go on. MACFARLAND. I did not take a good look at her. DOLLY. Why? MACFARLAND. Didn't have time. DOLLY. Why not ? MACFARLAND. Well, you see (Pauses) DOLLY. Yes, go on. MACFARLAND. I am going on. Well, you see as I was carrying her out of the water, I saw a police- man. DOLLY. And ? MACFARLAND. I was in a hurry so I dropped her and departed immediately. DOLLY. Then you are a fugitive from justice! MACFARLAND. (Starts up c.) I am a bird of passage a wazza zu passage. DOLLY. (Firmly) Sit down. MACFARLAND. Same place ? DOLLY. Yes. (He thrusts bouquet into his pocket and, carrying ball in right hand, starts to- wards couch. DOLLY, supreme master of the situa- tion, stands matching him, her arms folded. Shrewdly) If you are not really a criminal, how do you happen to know so many tricks of the trade? MACFARLAND. (Halting) I used to read the New York papers. DOLLY. (Shrewdly) Is that all? MACFARLAND. I also went to every crook play that came to town. DOLLY. What else did you do? MACFARLAND. That's all I had time to do. (The telephone rings.) DOLLY. (In telephone) Hello Yes (To MAC- FARLAND now at couch) A telegram. MACFARLAND. For me ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 85 DOLLY. Yes. MACFARLAND. (Smiling) Good! It's from Sole and Brown, telling me they've fixed it up with the proper authorities to keep me out of Sing Sing. DOLLY. (In telephone, as MACFARLAND 'sits on couch} Very well. Read it and I will take it down. (Seating herself in desk chair, she takes pencil and paper from drawer and places them conveniently on desk. Menwhile ) MACFARLAND. (Enthusiastically, as he pets the iron ball} It's only a question of time now when you will know the truth about everything. It is certainly bully to have friends who are always on the job! What is your favorite kind of ring one lone diamond all by himself or one completely sur- rounded by a flock of pearls? DOLLY. (In telephone) All right. Read it (As she writes the message ) Yes Yes Yes Is that all? Now see if I have it right. (Reading message into 'phone) " George MacGinniss, County Jail, Delta, Colorado." MACFARLAND. (Smiling, as he places ball on floor) Yes, that's my hotel. . DOLLY. (Reading into 'phone slowly) " Thorn- ton Brown lost at sea." MACFARLAND. (Bewildered) There must be some mistake. Read it to the operator again. DOLLY. (In 'phone) To make sure there is no mistake, I will read it to you again. (Reading) " Thornton Brown lost at sea. Signed, A friend." (MACFARLAND makes wry face and swallows as if he were swallowing a pumpkin. DOLLY in 'phone) Word for word? All right. Good-bye. (To MAC- FARLAND, as she hands up receiver) There is no mistake. MACFARLAND. (Stunned and disappointed) I never thought that of Thornt ! But thank God Sole is still alive. 86 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (The telephone rings.) DOLLY. (In 'phone) Hello (To MACFAR- LAND) Another telegram. MACFARLAND. (Surprised) For me? DOLLY. Yes. (Writing as she speaks) "Arthur Sole lost at sea. (Sing song, Rhymed couplet) " He tried to save his dear friend Brown, Almost succeeded, then both went down." MACFARLAND. (Ghost-like) Sing Sing! (Com- pletely unnerved, he rolls limply but comically off the couch as the curtain falls) (Curtain rises immediately discovering MACFAR- LAND stretched out on floor, the flowers upon his breast. He is all in, down and out, but funny.) Curtain BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 87 ACT IV SCENE: The same as ACT III. Early morning a week later. The room is discovered in darkness. Pres- ently the dull gray light of dawn drifts in thru the windows. A rooster crows immediately off R. A moment later, a second rooster crows somezvhat farther off. A few moments later, a third rooster crows, barely audible. Rooster No. i then crows, Number 2 answers him, No. 3 answers No. 2. The room, meanwhile, has been growing brighter. The new desk and chair are revealed standing against the wall between R. 2 and R. 3. The desk is a small roll-top affair with the top down. There is a small gold framed landscape picture above the desk and a pretty wicker waste basket on its down side. A wolf rug is in front of it. The couch is now against the wail between L. 2 and L. 4. A large bear skin rug is in front of it. The room is perceptibly more tidy than in ACT II. The maps hang square with the world. The books on the safe are orderly arranged on a scalloped edged cloth. The c. desk has a new white blotting pad and a vase of flowers but no litter. And the spittoon has been re- placed by a small stand upon which, in an Indian flower pot, sits a fern. There is a bob- cat rug in front of the c. desk. A Navajo rug in front of the cabinet. Two red Navajo rugs R. and L. center. The windows are draped with short lace curtains tied back with pink ribbons. DOLLY KAMMAN is discovered asleep on the 88 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE couch. A large white pillow is beneath her head and a pretty purple and white Navajo blanket covers her. In front of the couch is a pair of high top tan shoes. At the foot of the couch, a pair of pretty moccasins, heavily beaded. DOLLY'S identity is not revealed until she rises to a sitting posture. Above the couch, and leaning against the watt, is a green portable screen. The clatter of hoofs, approaching at a steady trot, is heard off R. A dog barks, a shot rings out. The dog yelps. DOLLY sits up. Two more shots in rapid succession. DOLLY springs out of bed. She is dressed in a pretty Japanese kimono and slippers. She hastens to R. 2 and peers out. The hoof clattering is now very near. DOLLY. Oh! (She hastens to couch, puts on moccasins and runs to R. 4. The clattering of hoofs meanwhile has ceased. Arrived at R. 4 DOLLY un- locks it and swings it open) Father! (Enter KAMMAN, haggard and dirty, a week's growth of beard and his new pearl gray Stetson battered and torn a limp felt thing. One coat sleeve is ripped from wrist to shoulder. DOLLY hugs hvtn fervently) KAMMAN. (Holding her from him after having kissed her ardently) What the thunder are you doing here? DOLLY. (Smiling) A deputy sheriff is a deputy sheriff, pa. (Closing door) Were you doing that shooting ? KAMMAN. (Crossing to cabinet) Yes. I scared Shorty William's dog. DOLLY. (Pained) What for? KAMMAN. (Opening cabinet door) If it hadn't BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 89 been for him we'd got those bank robbers clean handed. DOLLY. How is that? KAMMAN. (Taking Colts from holster and ex- tracting empty shells at desk L.) Shorty joined us the second day out. The dog tagged him. We found the gang's trail about three hours after Shorty found us ; tracked it four days ; surrounded the men up at your hunting cabin, and were just crawling in on them^-they didn't know we were around when that blasted dog barked at a bob-cat. Out they rushed and (Hanging holster belt in cabinet) Where's Wrenn? DOLLY. (Deeply concerned) Did you lose them ? KAMMAN. (Coming down) No, but Where's Wrenn ? DOLLY. (At his side, genuinely concerned) Did they get away? KAMMAN. We had to shoot 'em. ( DOLLY shud- ders, turns and goes towards couch) Where's Wrenn ? DOLLY. Asleep. (Puts blanket on sofa L.) KAMMAN. (At desk c. surveying the room) All fussed up, eh? DOLLY. (Folding Navajo blanket) I had to be doing something. KAMMAN. Any mail? DOLLY. Nothing important except a telegram from the New York officers. KAMMAN. Where is it? (He begins to pull out drawers of desk) DOLLY. In my desk. KAMMAN. (Noticing new desk, going toward it, smiling) When did it come? DOLLY. (Opening upper drawer) The day after you left. KAMMAN. Have you been here all that time? 90 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Handing him telegram) A deputy sheriff is a deputy sheriff. (She goes to couch) KAMMAN. (Telegram in hand) The officers left Denver yesterday. That means they will get here on the noon train to-day. DOLLY. Unless they come on the early passenger by way of Grand Junction. KAMMAN. (Crossing to desk) They won't do that. ( DOLLY spreads the screen at head of couch, then turns to safe. Opening upper drawer of his own desk) Are you sure MacGinniss and Simp didn't know each other before they met in your cabin that night ? DOLLY. (Taking skirt and zvaist from top of safe) Why? KAMMAN. (Taking cigar box from drawer) Simp and those bank robbers were members of the same gang and it looks like MacGinniss was in it too. DOLLY. (At screen with clothes') I don't believe it. KAMMAN. (Opening box*) You never can tell. (Looking into box} Where in thunder are my cigars ? DOLLY. (Behind screen, looking over) Mr. MacGinniss smoked the last one yesterday. KAMMAN. That's a pretty note ! (Slamming the drawer shut) And they were straight Havanas, too! DOLLY. (Out of sight, behind screen) That's what Mr. MacGinniss said. KAMMAN. Damn Mr. MacGinniss! DOLLY. (Same) Wrenn said you said to give him all the luxuries of life. KAMMAN. I didn't say to give him my Havanas. DOLLY. (Same) Mr. MacGinniss says your cigars and the Rocky Mountain sunrises are the onlv luxuries this town affords. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 91 KAMMAN. Haven't had a good smoke for a week. Bought that box brand new not thirty minutes be- fore I left town. Now look at it. (DOLLY peeps over screen) Look at it ! {He hurls it into waste- basket) DOLLY. (Folding screen) Mr. MacGinniss was afraid you might not like it. (She is now dressed as in ACT II. Her Colts is in holster, strapped about her waist) KAMMAN. (Going towards her as she replaces screen at head of couch) How would you like it if some one had smoked your cigars ? DOLLY. I wouldn't mind it if that someone re- placed my cigars the way Mr. MacGinniss replaced yours. (Going to her desk, she opens second drawer and, taking out a box of cigars, extends to KAMMAN opened) KAMMAN. (Delighted) Well, I'll be DOLLY. Ah ah (Pokes a cigar in his mouth) KAMMAN. (Admiring cigar, which he holds in hand) Dolly, it's a shame to let a man like that go to prison. DOLLY. (Laying her hand gently upon his fore- arm as he unwraps cigar's foil) Isn't there some way we can keep him from going to prison ? KAMMAN. The time to have thought of that was up in your cabin. DOLLY. Couldn't couldn't we just let him ? (She hesitates) KAMMAN. What? DOLLY. (Going to c. desk) Nothing. KAMMAN. What's happened, Dolly? DOLLY. (Taking him gently by the arm) Go home and get your breakfast. KAMMAN. You're coming with me. DOLLY. (Escorting him slowly towards R. 4) I will come just as soon as I straighten up the office. KAMMAN. I'll stay and help you. 92 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DOLLY. (Opening R. 4) Wrenn will help me. KAMMAN. I will. DOLLY. You have been riding all night and I know it. Go home ! KAMMAN. (In R. 4) All right. I'll put up Monk and shave, and if you're not home by that time I'll come down and get you. DOLLY. All right. KAMMAN. (Exiting) Now remember. DOLLY. Yes. Good-bye. (Exit KAMMAN R. 4. DOLLY stands in the doorway watching him a few moments. Presently the hoofs of his horse are heard clicky-te-clicking at an easy canter off R. She waves her handkerchief at him a moment, closes the door, goes to rear D. c. and, unbolting it, opens it) Wrenn oh, Wrenn ! WRENN. (Sleepily, off rear) Y-e-s! DOLLY. Aren't you up yet? WRENN. (Off) Yes. (DOLLY goes down to couch, picks up kimono and pillow and takes them up to safe, places them on top of blanket and is re- turning to c. desk as WRENN appears in rear D. Enter WRENN. He wears a lay down linen collar, an orange colored tie and is half asleep. Yawning) What is it, Dolly? DOLLY. (Not looking at him) Fetch Mr. Mac- Ginniss out to see the sunrise. WRENN. All right, Dolly. (He yawns) DOLLY. Wrenn! Is Mr. MacGinniss comfort- able? WRENN. He ought to be with all the new clothea and fixing he's got from Denver. (Starts up c. DOLLY frowns worriedly) DOLLY. Wrenn, have you ever overheard Simp or Mr. MacGinnis say anything that led you to be- lieve they knew each other before they met at my cabin. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 93 WRENN. Can't say I have, Dolly. But Violet's been talkin' a lot lately. Why? DOLLY. What did she say? WRENN. Well, I won't repeat all she said but the jist of her profanity was that she knows some- thing so bad about MacGinniss that it makes Simp Galloway look like an angel. Why? DOLLY. Some people suspect Mr. MacGinniss of being Simp's partner. WRENN. (Wisely) I've suspicioned him all the time. DOLLY. You never mentioned it before. WRENN. You never asked me to. DOLLY. Fetch him out to see the sunrise. WRENN. All right. (Exit WRENN. Going to window R. 2, DOLLY opens it and, taking field-glasses from her desk, cleans the lens carefully, thought- fully, with her handkerchief. Re-enter WRENN with MACFARLAND. To MACFARLAND) Come out and see the moonlight. ( MACFARLAND is very much discouraged.} DOLLY. Good-morning ! MACFARLAND. (Coming down) Good-morning, Sheriff. (He salutes gravely) DOLLY. Do wish to see the sunrise ? (She hands him the glasses) MACFARLAND. Thank you. DOLLY. (As he goes to window, sympathetically) You don't look very chipper this morning. MACFARLAND. (Glumly) I feel about as chipper as a piece of crepe. (Arrived at window, MAC- FARLAND adjusts glasses to the view. The