NOR ALL 
 YOUR TEARS 
 
 BY 
 
 MAUD H. YARDLEY 
 
 AUTHOR OF "SINLESS," ETC., ETC 
 
 NEW YORK 
 R. F. FENNO & COMPANY
 
 Copyright, 1908, by 
 R. F. FENNO A COMPANY 
 
 Nor All Your
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 i 
 
 POOR old Jack Drummond dead ! By Jove ! 
 This is a bad business! Dead! And 
 only ..." 
 
 The speaker paused, and, as he went on 
 reading the newspaper, his wife looked up from her 
 letters, and tried to see his face through the flowers 
 which decorated the centre of the breakfast table. 
 
 "Somebody dead, did you say, dear? Somebody 
 you know?" 
 
 " Yes ; old Jack Drummond. Best chap that 
 ever lived. Never was so surprised in my life! 
 Why, not a fortnight ago I was at his studio, and he 
 was as fit as his best friend could wish him ..." 
 
 "Oh, you mean Mr Drummond the portrait 
 painter? Fancy! Poor man! I'm sorry." The 
 lady's tone did not express much sorrow. The dead 
 artist was but a name to her ; and just now she was 
 worried over a dressmaker's bill, which she could 
 see no way of paying. 
 
 Her husband swallowed his coffee rather hurriedly, 
 and getting up from the table, went and stood by 
 the fire, his coat-tails spread apart, and upon his nice 
 face an expression of keen distress. 
 
 " It's no light matter for the child," he remarked, 
 
 I A 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 frowning slightly, as his wife went on opening her 
 letters. 
 
 "There are there is a family then?" she said 
 absently. 
 
 "There's one child a daughter. I daresay she's 
 eighteen perhaps a year or so more. Poor old 
 Jack didn't leave a halfpenny, I'll be bound ; and I 
 don't suppose she's got the least idea of doing 
 anything for herself." 
 
 " I daresay she has friends or people, or some- 
 thing," declared the lady comfortably and vaguely. 
 " I thought portrait painting was quite profitable." 
 
 " It wasn't to Jack. Good Lord ! he couldn't have 
 kept a million if he had had it ; and he never closed 
 his hand to a friend to a good many who'll forget 
 old debts now, and him too, before a month is over. 
 Oh, I suppose he made plenty of money, one way 
 and another, but he spent it a deal faster than he 
 made it. You met him, Carry " with a faint touch 
 of impatience. The man was speaking of a great 
 favourite, and it irritated him to see how little 
 interest his wife took in the information he was 
 giving her. 
 
 "Yes, dear, I remember. He was a very hand- 
 some man, with merry eyes, and a good-natured 
 face." 
 
 " He was one of the best. I don't know when 
 anybody's death has come as such a shock. I think," 
 deserting the fire, " I'll be off now, and see if there is 
 anything I can do for the poor child. You you 
 wouldn't care to ask her here for a bit, would you, 
 Carry?" he added hesitatingly, and not very 
 hopefully. 
 
 His wife put away the objectionable bill with a 
 sigh.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " I don't think I should. Please don't think me 
 unkind ; but I find our own girls as much as I can 
 manage, dear; and and well, she's got someone, 
 surely." 
 
 " As far as I know, she's got a couple of aunts 
 sisters of her father. How their mother and poor 
 Jack's can have been the same woman has always 
 been a puzzle to me. Mind you, I know very little of 
 them ; but what I do know inclines me to think that 
 their niece would not have much of a time with them. 
 Prim, hard, narrow-minded old maids, who " 
 
 " Who would be, perhaps, the very best companions 
 for your friend's daughter. The life of absolute 
 freedom she must have led from all you have told 
 me of her father is certainly not good for any 
 young girl. It's one of the reasons for my not 
 not wanting to ask her here." 
 
 " Is it ? " retorted her husband, hotly. He was 
 going to say something more, but checked himself, 
 and marched out of the room, banging the door 
 behind him. 
 
 It was striking eleven when he hailed a hansom, 
 and gave the driver an address in Chelsea ; it was 
 fully twenty minutes past the hour when he mounted 
 the steps of a house facing the Embankment, close 
 to Oakley Street a house before the windows of 
 which every blind was still drawn. 
 
 The servant who admitted him knew him well. 
 
 " I've only just heard, Marshall," said the visitor. 
 "It was a terrible surprise. How is Miss Valerie 
 taking it?" 
 
 "Pretty fairly, sir. It was nearly two weeks ago, 
 you know, sir; and at first I thought her likely 
 to go mad with grief. But she nulled round, like 
 her own brave self, sir ; and and there's been so 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUK TEAES 
 
 much to do, and things in that muddle, sir, that 
 there's been hardly time for thought" 
 
 " I understand. Ask your mistress to see me now, 
 Marshall. I'll have a talk with you later on." 
 
 " Thank you, sir. Will you step this way, please ?" 
 
 The man mounted the stairs, and the visitor followed. 
 Presently he found himself in the old familiar 
 studio, with his dead friend's daughter coming to 
 meet him ; and save that the drawn blinds shut out 
 the winter sun, that the girl seemed to be weighed 
 down by her sombre garments, there was little 
 change. Jack Drummond's merry welcome might 
 have rung out to him the next moment. But 
 instead there was silence the silence that comes 
 alone with death. 
 
 " Mr Meredith," said the girl gladly. " I knew 
 you would come." 
 
 " My dear, I have only just returned to town 
 only picked up the paper this morning, to find an 
 allusion to to him, which told me the sad news. 
 Of course I came at once ; but I fear I am very 
 late," glancing round the almost bare room. 
 " Valerie, can you bear to tell me a little about it ? " 
 leading her to a chair, and taking a seat himself 
 on the edge of a table near. 
 
 "There seems so little, and yet so much to tell," 
 she returned, slowly. 
 
 The tears were thick in her eyes, but they did not 
 fall ; her lips trembled piteously, and her face looked 
 very white against the black neck-band of her gown. 
 But her voice was steady. 
 
 " It was all very sudden terribly, cruelly sudden. 
 He was taken ill, without a word of warning ; 
 it was in the night, and he hesitated to send for 
 me to disturb me. But he roused Marshall, 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 and he came to me. Father died just as I got 
 to his room. The doctor called it heart failure, and 
 h/e said that he must have been ailing for some 
 time secretly. Oh, does it seem possible to you 
 that he will never again sit in this room!" 
 
 Meredith blew his nose violently before he 
 answered. 
 
 "It has completely knocked me over," he admitted. 
 
 "Do you mind telling me, my dear, how how 
 matters stand ? I mean if you are at all provided 
 for." 
 
 "No, there was nothing left, Mr Meredith. Mr 
 Grattan, the solicitor, you know, had charge of 
 everything. You know, of course I suppose you 
 always knew ? " 
 
 " Knew what ? " inquired Meredith, uneasily. 
 
 "That father had been oh, for years and years 
 living up to double, treble his earnings. Every- 
 thing had to go to his creditors, Mr Grattan said. 
 I was under the impression that he had a private 
 income, if only a small one; but but he has left 
 simply nothing. You are not blaming him?" 
 looking up quickly. "You are not thinking that I 
 grieve over that for myself? " 
 
 "No no! I was thinking that surely Grattan 
 might have done a little better for you but perhaps 
 I wrong him and I was wishing that I had 
 known before everything was settled. I'm not 
 surprised. Poor old Jack was altogether too open- 
 handed to leave much ; but I'm very certain that 
 he would have taken care to do something for you 
 had he dreamed of so early an end to his life. 
 Forgive me for speaking so plainly. You are leaving 
 here?" 
 
 " Yes ; at the end of the week," a little hurriedly. 
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 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 " Will you tell me, in the circumstances, what you 
 are likely to do ? " 
 
 The colour spread quickly over the girl's face, 
 and faded away almostly as quickly ; and her eyes 
 were lowered, her fingers a little restless. 
 
 " I I have enough for a little while. I suppose," 
 with a queer little smile, " I shall have to get some- 
 thing to do, though I don't know what. I have a 
 perfect eye for colour, I believe ; " glancing sadly 
 at the corner of the room, now deserted, where Jack 
 Drummond had loved best to work. " I can sing 
 a bit and play a bit ; and I can devil kidneys, and 
 do ceuf & la cocotte with any cook in London but 
 I am not sure that those are exactly helpful 
 accomplishments." 
 
 She was laughing softly, not gaily, but in the 
 half cynical, half quaintly humorous manner which 
 reminded her visitor forcibly of the dead man, 
 which brought to memory that man's palmy 
 days, and the days many more of these when 
 times were hard and funds at the lowest point ; 
 when he had shared and made merry over a crust, 
 when he had been able to see the funny side of 
 even his lamentable poverty. Those were days of 
 long ago, of which Valerie could have but vague 
 remembrance. The last few years had been years 
 of ease and of luxury. She was talking about 
 M getting something to do " carelessly, as though it 
 were the simplest matter in the world ; and she was 
 making light of the fact that she knew nothing about 
 work of any sort, as though the few paltry pounds 
 she might have in hand would last for ever. It 
 could not be that she was ignorant, either, of the 
 value of money, or of the difficulty in obtaining 
 employment. She had seen enough of the struggles 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 of those whom her father had often assisted men 
 and women, young and middle-aged; artists, 
 musicians, actors, girls as young as herself, who had 
 had to struggle for a living all their lives to make 
 her wise. She had lived from her babyhood in the 
 very cream of Bohemia ; she had seen many phases 
 of life ; she must know her world a great deal better 
 than most women of her age ; and she must know 
 that for a woman alone, in such a position as she 
 now found herself, the way would be difficult in the 
 extreme. It could not be that she was unaware of 
 her own great beauty. Meredith knew well that 
 there had been many here, in this very room, who 
 would have told her of that, even if she could not 
 have seen it for herself, many who would have 
 taught her that it was a priceless possession. For 
 himself, he had known her so long that in his eyes 
 she had ever been the child that he had first seen 
 queening it over Drummond's studio, petted and 
 spoiled by everyone who went there the child that 
 had cost the mother her life, that for a time left the 
 man's heart desolate. But all too suddenly to-day, it 
 dawned upon him that she was no longer a child 
 she was a woman, and perhaps the loveliest he had 
 ever seen. He had generally found her skipping 
 about the house in very short skirts and a light blue 
 overall ; with her hair hanging loose about her 
 shoulders, her sweet voice lifted high in some merry 
 chansonette which the students had taught her; 
 and he had forgotten, as Jack Drummond forgot, 
 that the years were passing, and that the child had 
 become a woman. Meredith remembered now, with 
 a slight shock. He realised that she was alone and 
 unprotected, and he grew vaguely fearful. He 
 wished he had some woman friend whom he could 
 
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 send to her ; he felt that the very least he could do 
 for his old friend's daughter would be to take her 
 to his own home. But he remembered, too, his wife's 
 words spoken only this morning, and a slight flush, 
 born partly of annoyance, went over his kindly 
 face. He was glad that the lowered blinds darkened 
 the room, he was glad that someone had even pulled 
 across the ceiling the strip of green that covered the 
 skylight ; and he was still more glad that the girl 
 was evidently unconscious of his embarrassment 
 
 "There there are your aunts your father's 
 sisters," he suggested, not very hopefully ; and he 
 saw that the colour deepened again in her cheeks. 
 
 " I know," she returned, getting up and taking a 
 few turns up and down the long room. " They have 
 written to me. Mr Grattan must have told them, 
 because I did not remember even where they lived." 
 
 " And they have asked you to go to them ? I 
 am glad of that It is quite the best thing that even 
 I can think of at the moment. After a little while 
 I must talk it over with some of the old friends, and 
 see what can be done." 
 
 She thanked him with a little grateful smile, but 
 it struck him that she seemed curiously uninterested 
 in her future. She was nervously moving the fringe 
 of a rug with her foot, and she was silent 
 
 "You must not let anything your father may 
 have said prejudice you against them, you know. 
 They are most admirable ladies, I know; but of 
 course their lives are a bit narrow, and they could 
 never quite understand poor old Jack's mode of life." 
 
 "No," she said. Then suddenly she looked up 
 at him. 
 
 "Dear Mr Meredith, you are more than good I 
 know you are sorry for and anxious about me ; but 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 don't be. I I shall let you hear of me soon and 
 what I am doing; and thank you more than I can 
 say for coming." 
 
 Sweetly, gratefully as the words were spoken, 
 Meredith could not help taking them as a dismissal. 
 He found himself bending over her hands, assuring 
 her that his friendship would be hers always, and 
 begging her not to hesitate to write to him if at any 
 time he could help her. 
 
 Then he was gone, forgetting even the little talk 
 he had promised himself with Marshall, the old 
 servant 
 
 And once out in the street, he brought his brows 
 together in a frown, and gave vent to a prolonged, 
 soft whistle. 
 
 " 1 haven't seen her for a month or two, and I'll 
 be hanged if I'd have known her in the street I 
 expected to find a helpless child ready to be led by 
 the hand, and I find a self-possessed woman who 
 receives me like a young duchess, who's practically 
 alone in the world, homeless and penniless, and who 
 can afford to look out at the future with a laugh ! It 
 isn't possible that she's got anything up her sleeve ; 
 
 it isn't possible that " But he refused to frame 
 
 even the thought, and turned sharply on his heel, 
 ashamed of it
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 II 
 
 IT was bitterly cold, even for January ; a high 
 wind swept round the houses, and lashed the 
 river from its sullen, brown quiet to angry 
 restlessness. The snow fell heavily at intervals ; 
 the lights twinkled but dimly on the Embankment 
 
 Valerie Drummond watched them listlessly while 
 she stood at the open hall door, listening to Marshall 
 whistling repeatedly and ineffectually for a cab. She 
 had waited in the dreary dining-room, and the still 
 more dreary drawing-room, in the hall, and on the 
 stairs ; and now she went out on to the steps, glad 
 to leave the gloomy house at the back of her, thinking 
 the moaning wind, and the great snow-flakes, and 
 the cold, dark river, more cheerful to look upon than 
 the deserted rooms, that were already stripped of 
 most of their belongings, feeling less the chill of 
 the keen winter air than the chill of death, that 
 seemed to hang over every corner of the house. 
 
 There was restlessness, anxiety upon her, wholly 
 new. There was an expression of mingled half fear 
 and desperation in her eyes, that had lost all their 
 merriment ; there was a ring of impatience, of even 
 irritability, in her low, pretty voice, that not one of her 
 servants had ever heard before, that made Marshall 
 look up at her sharply from his position on the lowest 
 step, as she spoke now. 
 
 " What is the use of waiting there ? Why don't 
 you go down to the stand ? You might whistle for 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 an hour and not be heard in this gale ! " Her words 
 scarcely reached him, but the sharpness of the tone 
 penetrated even the howl of the wind. And at that 
 moment a hansom drew up at the kerb, the horse 
 plunging beneath a swift stroke from the whip, the 
 lights behind half-red lamps shining cheerily out of 
 the gloom. 
 
 " Can't hear nothing, lady, but 'appened to see 
 you," cabby volunteered, while Valerie settled 
 herself, and Marshall closed the doors, and waited 
 for directions, which his mistress seemed to have 
 entirely forgotten. 
 
 "Shall I tell him where to, Miss?" 
 
 " Oh, yes ; Eaton Square." It was not a very 
 clear direction, but the horse was whisked smartly 
 about, the unnecessary whip came down again, and 
 Marshall was left on the pavement staring at nothing, 
 a little wonderingly. 
 
 When she was well away from her own door, Miss 
 Drummond put up the trap. " Go to Knightsbridge," 
 she said. " I will tell you when I want to stop ; 
 and please leave off whipping that horse." 
 
 " Very good, lady." And cabby dropped the trap, 
 put the whip in the socket, and let a grin widen his 
 mouth. 
 
 " Her best boy's put her out ! " he remarked to 
 himself, and took to a narrow street which led to 
 a short cut to Knightsbridge. 
 
 Arrived there, he was brought to a sudden halt by 
 the re-opening of the trap. The girl was already on 
 the step, and when she had paid him double his fare, 
 he watched her gather her skirts more closely about 
 her, and disappear into the darkness. She went on 
 her way with certain steps, as over very familiar ground ; 
 no one heeded her, and she heeded none. The traffic 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 was pressing, but she threaded her way through it 
 with ease and a touch of recklessness. Presently 
 she passed under a narrow archway, into a courtyard, 
 where the lights burned so dimly that it was almost 
 in darkness; but her step was as sure here as it had 
 been in the street, and she turned swiftly through one 
 of the three doors which stood open on the right 
 Beyond, a porter threw open glass doors to her; he 
 would have escorted her to the lift, but she shook 
 her head, and ran lightly up the stairs. At the top 
 of the first landing she paused, pressed her finger 
 upon an electric bell, and, a moment later, passed into 
 a warm, brilliantly lighted, luxuriously furnished hall. 
 
 " Mr Brabazon is at home," she said, with more of 
 assertion than question in her tone. 
 
 The man, who had been somewhat taken by 
 surprise at her quiet, determined entrance, closed 
 the door softly. 
 
 " Mr Brabazon is at home, madam ; but n 
 
 "Tell him, please." He did not ask her name. 
 Perhaps he knew instinctively that she would not 
 tell him; and he remembered that if she did, he 
 would have to carry it into the dining-room, where 
 his master was entertaining half a dozen men at 
 dinner. He knew his business, and that master's 
 ways, a great deal too well for such a false step. 
 
 He ushered her into a small room, moved a big 
 chair a little nearer to the fire, and then left her, 
 letting fall the curtains over the door, which he 
 closed. 
 
 In the dining-room he went silently over to his 
 master's chair, and, standing well behind it, whispered 
 a few words very softly, and with a low bow, in 
 his ear. 
 
 Cuthbert Brabazon turned round with a start ; he 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 leant back and asked some question, which the 
 servant evidently answered satisfactorily. Then he 
 muttered something which sounded like " The devil ! " 
 and five minutes later begged his friends to excuse 
 him. 
 
 When he reached the room where Valerie 
 Drummond was waiting for him, he found her 
 walking about rather impatiently. 
 
 " My dearest little girl," he said, drawing her near 
 to him by both her hands, " this is a surprise indeed. 
 But why didn't you wire or telephone ? I might not 
 have been here ; and, as it is, there are some men 
 dining with me . . . but there, at the sight of you 
 I forget everything! What a delicious morsel of 
 loveliness it is 1 " he added softly, unfastening her 
 furs with practised fingers, and removing her hat as 
 neatly as she could have removed it herself. He 
 tossed it on to a chair, and the furs after it ; and 
 then, with a sigh of momentary, keen satisfaction, 
 took her into his arms. 
 
 "I'm famished for a kiss it's six weeks since I've 
 had one since I've even seen you," he declared, 
 bending his face down till there was not an inch 
 between it and hers, and letting his eyes, that held 
 a light of weariness always, wander over the 
 exquisite beauty of her face, while, with their glance 
 meeting hers, he called to life the sweet rose-colour 
 in her cheeks. She rested against him with a sense 
 of half fear, half content, but she put up her hand 
 between his lips and hers. 
 
 "What is that for?" he asked, vexedly. "Oh, I 
 suppose I know! But you are not going to be 
 foolish about a few unanswered letters, Val? You 
 know that if I did not write it was because writing 
 was an impossibility ; you know always, that if you
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 don't hear, if you don't see me, that there are that 
 I can satisfy you there are good reasons. I haven't 
 touched town till this very afternoon." 
 
 " Have you not read the papers ? Have you heard 
 nothing while you were away?" she asked, and in 
 her voice there was already, before he answered, a 
 sound of polite disbelief. 
 
 He released her from his hold ; his face took on 
 that wearied expression which had struck a chill of 
 dread to many a heart far older, far wiser than hers, 
 and he threw himself down on the arm of a chair, 
 with a sigh that was half hopeless, wholly disappointed. 
 
 She might have been a child whom he meant to 
 leave to get over a fit of temper before he spoke 
 again ; and while he kept silence, he looked towards 
 the door, as though to remind her that there were 
 guests in another room awaiting his return. 
 
 " If you have not read if you have heard nothing," 
 she said, " then forgive me I wronged you ! You 
 do not know ..." A choking lump rose in her 
 throat, stifling the words ; and her eyes went from 
 his to the long folds of black, fine cloth which clung 
 softly to her graceful form. In one moment the 
 truth seemed to flash upon him, in one moment 
 a thousand thoughts mostly uncomfortable ones 
 seemed to whirl themselves through his mind. He 
 understood the meaning of her visit, and with the 
 understanding there came a sense of undefined half 
 resentment 
 
 " You mean ! " he exclaimed, springing to his feet 
 " Val ! you can't mean that ..." 
 
 "I mean that he is dead father! He died 
 suddenly, a fortnight ago. I thought it could not 
 be possible that you had not heard ; and oh, your 
 silence nearly broke my heart" 
 
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 " Good heavens ! Poor little girl ! What a brute 
 you must have been thinking me ! I swear to you 
 I never heard a word about it That is why," 
 with faint uneasiness that she was quick to detect, 
 "you you came here to-night?" His face had 
 gone very white, his eyes, usually so tired, lost their 
 languor ; they travelled restlessly over her sombre 
 gown, from the edge of black fox fur at her feet to 
 the bit of transparent, filmy lace stretched across her 
 chest, in a half bewildered way. Then they went to 
 her face, to the softly rounded chin, to the milky 
 whiteness of her cheeks, to the curves of her rich 
 lips, to the little straight nose and the heavily fringed 
 eyes, puzzling in colour, and for that reason doubly 
 attractive, half shy, and even when they were merry, 
 looking at one as though always through a tear. 
 And because he never attempted to resist beauty, 
 and hers had appealed to him as the beauty of 
 woman had never appealed to him yet, he held her 
 close to him once more, and took the kiss which, 
 just now, she had refused him. 
 
 "You can understand my anxiety," she said 
 swiftly, trying to read his eyes. "You can realise 
 what it was to me when there was no word from you 
 no sign ; when you never came " 
 
 " But, my dear " 
 
 M I know now I understand at least I try to ; 
 and I could not know the reason for your silence; 
 I there was none to tell me none I could ask," 
 
 Brabazon breathed a slight sigh of relief and 
 gratitude. 
 
 " And you came here to-night," he repeated, with 
 that new anxiety in his voice, as though he feared 
 to hear her reason, and yet could not rest till it came 
 to him from her own lips.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "Because I could endure the suspense no longer! 
 Because the days and the nights were torture torture 
 of wonder and misery and doubt that I would not 
 harbour. Because I had lost all, and there was only 
 you left Is it so wonderful? Is it so surprising? 
 Is it not not natural that I should have come to 
 you to you," colouring faintly, "to whom alone I 
 have the right to come ? " 
 
 His hold upon her grew loose. He drew forward 
 a chair and put her gently into it, and stood with 
 his arm on the edge of the mantelpiece and his eyes 
 on the hearthrug. 
 
 " It isn't surprising or wonderful," he admitted, 
 uneasily. "Only it it happens to be deuced 
 awkward at this moment " 
 
 "You mean my being here because of of 
 those men in the other room ? " 
 
 "No; they don't count they won't be the wiser. 
 I meant that it is rough on you left quite alone 
 and and when I " 
 
 " Alone I " She seemed to catch at the word and 
 hold it, remembering only its meaning for her. 
 " Why do you say that to me ? I shall never cease 
 to miss father, but I can never be quite alone while 
 I have you." 
 
 Brabazon was trying to dig lumps of fur out of 
 the rug with his heel ; he seemed to have some 
 difficulty in framing his next words. They came 
 with a rush at last 
 
 "And I'm a prize, little girl, that I am afraid 
 circumstances will forbid you laying claim to," he 
 said. The slight laugh which accompanied the 
 words was forced, it rung very false ; but it was only 
 when, at last, his eyes met hers that something of 
 the meaning of it came to her. She got up from 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 her chair swiftly ; her limbs trembled beneath her, 
 a shudder as of cold passed over her body. 
 
 "Look here, Val," he said hastily, "you mustn't 
 take it badly ; you must try, for both our sakes, to 
 be reasonable, sensible. There is something I ought 
 to have told you long ago, but it would not come 
 easily. It might have put an end to many happy 
 hours for you and me. Frankly, I had not the 
 courage I dared not risk losing you ..." 
 
 " Don't say it ! " she interrupted, a little wildly, 
 putting up her hands and shrinking as if from a blow, 
 " Do not say it ! I know what it is I can tell you ! 
 You you don't care any more you oh, my 
 God ! " as he still kept his position by the mantel- 
 piece, as he was silent instead of contradicting her. 
 " And I I came here to you . . . ** 
 
 "You don't give me a chance to explain you 
 jump to the conclusion, woman-like, that I have 
 ceased to care, that I have tired of you, before I say 
 a word. You are utterly and entirely wrong." 
 
 At his words the horror died out of her eyes ; she 
 went nearer to him, and clasped her hands on his 
 arm. And while he smoothed them lightly, he 
 repeated " You are utterly and entirely wrong, Val. 
 I have loved you more than I have ever loved any 
 woman in my life more, very likely, than I shall 
 ever love another. We've been very happy, Val I 
 wish," restlessly, " I had told you the truth before, 
 or that, at any rate, I had not been obliged it need 
 not have come out at the moment when you were 
 full of grief for his loss . . . too." The " too " was 
 characteristic of the speaker ; and it was the one 
 word that the woman heard distinctly. It seemed to 
 be hurled at her, to prepare her for anything. The 
 little chill feeling came back to her heart ; and her 
 
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 hands, that had been clasped tightly on his arm, fell 
 limply to her sides. 
 
 " Go on," she said. " Tell me the truth now tell 
 me what your words mean." 
 
 "That if if things were different I could do as 
 I pleased; but I am not my own master I 
 cannot " 
 
 " It was for that reason," she interrupted very 
 slowly, very quietly, while her eyes never left his 
 face, and the colour seemed as though it would never 
 return to hers, " that you bade me keep our friend- 
 ship a secret, that you said our marriage when the 
 time came would have to be a secret too." 
 
 " I am afraid I drew a little on my imagination, 
 Val. The fact is er you were a tremendously 
 proud little girl in in many ways ; and if I had 
 not led you to believe that marriage was to be the 
 er ultimate result of our our intimacy, why, you'd 
 have given me the cold shoulder in no time ! It's no 
 use beating about the bush now," he went on, with a 
 touch of desperation in his voice, but never once 
 daring to meet the eyes that he could feel were fixed 
 upon him. " It's no use my pretending to talk to 
 you as though you were a little innocent bread and 
 butter miss, just out of school. We've been more 
 than a good deal in each others' lives in this past 
 year, Val ; we've been all that a man and a woman 
 who love can be to each other. And if I I chose 
 to play a slight part, by way of putting matters on a 
 more on a straighter footing if I sought to ease 
 your conscience by inventing adamantine, property- 
 holding relatives, who would take a deal of propiti- 
 ating, I never honestly supposed I don't suppose 
 now that you seriously believed in it Oh, hang it," 
 he added, with the old bored look coming into his 
 
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 eyes. " You make it infernally hard to say ! You 
 stand there and make a fellow feel that you are 
 landing him at the North Pole with your eyes ... I 
 have been I am awfully fond of you ! You must 
 let me do all I can I'll do every mortal thing I can 
 for you ; but but the news of your father's death 
 has well, it has altered things in an amazing way. 
 It has brought you here to me very naturally it 
 has suggested to you the moment for the fulfilment 
 of a promise which, as I say," with another forced 
 laugh, "we both played with, with which we both 
 excused ..." 
 
 She silenced him with a gesture, too peremptory 
 to disobey. "And I came to you here I came to 
 you believing in you ! " She was rather moaning 
 again, softly, than saying across his hurried words, 
 that he was trying to make sound easy. " I came 
 to you my God ! sure of your love, certain of your 
 welcome, confident of your care ! " 
 
 The blood burned hot in her face now ; it was her 
 eyes which were lowered, not his. The fact encour- 
 aged Brabazon to continue with his rapid speech, 
 that held a half explanatory, half persuasive tone. 
 
 " Be reasonable, Val ! Why make such a tragedy 
 out of really very little? I'd reckoned on things 
 going on much as they were for a good while to 
 come (you'll admit that I couldn't be prepared for 
 the death that means such a loss to you) ; and, upon 
 my soul, I don't see why everything should not be 
 all right, why you should not be absolutely happy 
 with me now, if you'd only be a reasonable little girl, 
 and if you would not kick at being kept in the back- 
 ground for a time," 
 
 She was so silent, so still there was no sign even 
 that she breathed, but the slight stirring of the laces
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 at her breast that Brabazon looked up sharply. He 
 caught the full glance of her eyes, and at something 
 in them his face took on a tinge of shamed, 
 dusky red. 
 
 " Need you say any more ? " Valerie asked in a 
 voice from which all the life had gone, and in which 
 only a chill remained. " Must you make matters 
 worse? Can't you let me go without making me 
 despise myself more? I understand everything 
 you have said, and all you have left unsaid ! " 
 She was putting on her hat while she spoke; 
 as she took up her furs, Brabazon instinctively 
 placed them on her shoulders, without really knowing 
 what he was doing. He knew that she was going, 
 and he could not frame any words to detain her he 
 was not altogether sure that he really wished to 
 detain her. " Will you please remember that I 
 blame myself so much that I can only blame you 
 very little. I suppose I may rely upon you to forget 
 that I I ever entered these doors that we ever 
 met?" 
 
 She spoke like one repeating a lesson ; she walked 
 like a woman in her sleep. She pulled aside the 
 portiere. The action roused Brabazon, and he 
 stretched out a quick hand and drew her back. 
 
 M Don't be a little fool, Val! " he said, the moment- 
 ary, rare shame that had overwhelmed him fading 
 away, and a certain anger taking its place. "You 
 think you understand all I have left unsaid, but you 
 do not. I'd like to have avoided saying it, but you 
 make me. You think that I'm I'm backing out of 
 our marriage, now that your father is dead, and 
 because I'm tired of you. And you're utterly wrong ! 
 You must have known a little how the land lay, all 
 along, say what you will. You must have seen that 
 
 ao
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 I played my part, and let you play one, simply that 
 you might fancy your conscience more clear. Young 
 as you are with the absolute freedom that has 
 marked your whole life, you have seen twice as much 
 of the world as nine out of ten of any other women 
 of your years ; and you must have let me lead you 
 with your eyes wide open. If you only take the 
 goods the gods provide, like a sensible little woman, 
 you'd have a much better time of it in the long run. 
 I'll tell you one thing," keeping his hand firmly on 
 her arm, and speaking confidentially and a little 
 wearily, " and it's more than I could say to any other 
 woman alive ! I'd marry you to-morrow, like a shot, 
 if I did not think marriage the most rotten institution 
 ever invented, and if I were free to do as I chose. 
 But you may as well hear it now as at any other 
 time the question of marriage was settled for me 
 long ago long before I met you, in fact seven years 
 before that My dear little girl," releasing her arm, 
 and stretching both his own above his head with a 
 movement of utter boredom, "if you had not been 
 the most charming of wild flowers, in a world not 
 mine, I should never have looked at you and you 
 would have heard long ago that I've got a wife already 
 a pattern of all the virtues," with a sneering laugh, 
 M a most amiable young party, who loves me about as 
 much as I love her, but who is good enough to keep 
 out of my way all she can ! There, that is the truth 
 which you insisted upon hearing ! Nothing very 
 tragic or uncommon, is it? And if I'd told you 
 before, we shouldn't have had this year of ..." 
 
 A little stifled cry checked his speech. The 
 woman's hands had gone out before her as though to 
 implore silence ; she leant heavily against the back 
 of a chair, striving to gather strength before she tried 
 
 21
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 to walk to the curtains, upon which her eyes were 
 fixed. 
 
 At that moment, from the dining-room, there came 
 an uproarious burst of laughter. 
 
 " I'd forgotten them," declared Brabazon, with 
 uneasy eyes turning towards the door. " They were 
 pretty far gone when I left them, and they're capable 
 of hunting us out ! Listen, Val I'll drop you a line 
 to-night, when they are gone I'll come over in the 
 
 morning or I'll " 
 
 Another shout of laughter, Brabazon's name 
 called loudly from a very little distance, roused 
 Valerie from a sort of stupor, from sudden numb- 
 ness which she had been trying to shake off. 
 She did not speak a word. He was doubtful 
 if she had even heard what he said. She groped her 
 way through the portiere which he held back ; 
 dimly she saw the servant waiting in the hall, and 
 that, at a sign from Brabazon, he held the door wide 
 open, quickly. Then there was another burst of 
 laughter, the same voice calling 
 
 "Brabazon! Where are you? What the devil 
 are you doing all this time? I'm coming to look 
 for you 1 " And then, close to her horrified ear 
 
 "Oh I My auntl A PETTICOAT I"
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 III 
 
 HOW she reached the street Valerie 
 Drummond never quite knew. As she 
 crossed the road, one motor had to swerve 
 out of her way so sharply that it almost 
 struck the side of an omnibus ; and a cab driver 
 pulled his horse on to its haunches with a savage and 
 outspoken oath ; and in the centre of the road a 
 policeman took her by the arm, with a half suspicious 
 look in his eyes. 
 
 "Was you tryin' to get run over, lady?" he 
 inquired, searching her little livid face curiously. 
 
 "Thank you," returned Valerie, vaguely. "Will 
 you call me a cab, please ? " 
 
 There was a moment's wait, and then she was 
 giving the address, which the policeman repeated, 
 thanking him again, and being driven towards her 
 own home. 
 
 Arrived there, she mounted the steps a little 
 unsteadily. But the chill gloominess of the half 
 lighted hall did not strike her, as it had struck her 
 when she came out : what was the misery of a half 
 empty house beside the misery of her entirely empty 
 life, that all at once had grown so useless to her? 
 She had felt loneliness, but loneliness tempered by 
 the certainty of comfort not far off; now there was a 
 sense of utter desolation upon her. 
 
 " I sent some supper to your room, Miss," Marshall 
 said, looking a little anxiously into her face;
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Thank you. Tell Catherine I shall not want her, 
 please. Good-night." She went very slowly up the 
 stairs ; she had passed the room where her father 
 died, with a shudder, ever since she had seen him 
 taken from it, now she put her hands before her 
 eyes and hurried by. A large fire burned in her bed- 
 room, her slippers were by the fender, and a loose 
 wrapper hung over the back of a chair. There was 
 every sign of comfort, but Valerie did not notice. 
 She only knew that the blinds were closely drawn 
 that no eye could see her ; and was grateful accord- 
 ingly. Mechanically she went about undressing, as 
 mechanically she put her bare feet into the warmed 
 slippers, and threw the loose gown round her. Then 
 she sat down by the glowing fire, and stared into its 
 heart. By degrees the warmth comforted her a little ; 
 her chilled, trembling hands lay still, her mind 
 became more clear. She was able to go over the 
 events of the day. She remembered Meredith's visit, 
 his kindness, his desire to help her ; and, with a throb 
 of passionate gladness, she remembered, too, that she 
 had refrained from saying to him words that were on 
 the tip of her tongue, refrained from telling him that 
 he need have no anxiety about her future, from letting 
 him know that she had no fear for it. Because he 
 was so genuinely sorry for her, the temptation had 
 assailed her to partially confide in him ; but she had 
 put it aside she had feared question. Now, she 
 thanked heaven in her soul for that fear, anything, 
 that had held her silent She went over every little 
 trivial thing she had done through the day, over her 
 secret anxiety, over her weary waiting for the 
 appearance of Marshall with a letter, a telegram, 
 which would bear Brabazon's name ; for the sound of 
 the telephone bell, and, after it, Brabazon's voice from 
 
 4
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEAES 
 
 afar off. She went over all the worry, all the fear, all 
 the haunting doubt of the last fortnight, the anxiety 
 and the intolerable suspense which had led up to her 
 going to Brabazon's rooms to-night. A great scorch- 
 ing wave of crimson spread over her face and lingered 
 there for a long minute. Even though she was quite 
 alone, she shut her eyes and put her hands over her 
 ears, as though to shut out the sight of his face, to 
 deaden the sound of his voice, half passionate, half 
 angry, wholly full of a nameless power over her. She 
 went over the past year, then ; and with memory, she 
 went hot and cold by turns. Every drop of blood 
 seemed to ebb slowly from her heart, and to leave her 
 with a feeling of sick faintness that partly robbed her 
 of her senses. Anger, regret, self-contempt, were all 
 swallowed up in unbounded humiliation, in an agony 
 of shame from which, she thought, at this moment, 
 she could never recover, through all of which she 
 realised that the most poignant grief was hers this 
 night. A sort of soul panic took possession of her. 
 
 What a fool what a senseless, confiding fool she 
 had been ! It was all her fault all ! In all the 
 world, was there a woman who had been offered 
 deadlier insult, who had been more cruelly deceived 
 and humiliated? The thought stung her to life. 
 With a movement of fierce anger, she sprang to her 
 feet, and pushing first one chair and then another out 
 of her way, fell to pacing the room with rapid steps. 
 The lace of her gown caught in the handles of the 
 toilet-table drawers, and she tore it away with violence 
 that worked its utter destruction ; her eyes fell upon 
 the daintily spread tray, and she thrust it from her 
 with a movement of disgust 
 
 There was no present there was no future ! 
 There was only the hideous past, that had begun a 
 
 25
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 year ago, and that had ended to-night not an hour 
 ago! 
 
 She walked from one side of the room to the other 
 till her limbs shook with weariness, till the clock 
 struck out the small hours of a new morning, till the 
 fire died away from glowing red to dull, dead grey. 
 From every corner she seemed to see mocking faces, 
 to hear mocking voices. For a little while her mind 
 seemed to be a blank ; and when it was not blank it 
 was a blind tangle. By and by she heard signs of 
 life about the house, and knew that another day had 
 well begun. From outside there came to her the 
 clatter of early milk carts, the footsteps of people on 
 their way to the day's work. From inside there was 
 the rattle of a pail, the swish of a broom. They 
 reminded her that " life was going on just the same, 
 that the world had not stood still because she had 
 been humbled in the dust. Life was going on just 
 the same her life ; she could not die at will. She 
 would have to go on with it, too. She would live it 
 might be for another fifty years ; she was only twenty 
 now ! She must live ! And with that thought a 
 thought that became a disagreeable certainty there 
 came another. How ? Where ? And there came, also, 
 the full realisation of how utterly alone she was. 
 She had said to Brabazon that she had lost father, 
 home, all ; and now she had lost the man upon whose 
 love she had counted, upon whose honour she had 
 placed all her faith and trust She had indeed lost 
 all even her self-respect She could see afresh the 
 uneasiness of his manner, she could hear again the 
 ring of her own despairing voice, she could hear the 
 petulance, mingled with the weariness and incredulity 
 of his. She could hear him telling her not to be a 
 little fool ; and felt herself go hot all over at the 
 
 26
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 memory of his suggestion that he wished everything 
 to be just as it had been, at the memory that he had 
 evidently no doubt but that she would wish it too. 
 She recollected how she had heard, and had been 
 almost powerless to answer him ; she knew now what 
 he had been thinking of her all this past year ; and 
 over all, she could hear the bursts of laughter from 
 his dining-room, she could see him with his arms 
 stretched above his head in utter boredom, while he 
 told her calmly, carelessly, that he had a wife already, 
 a wife who had been his for upwards of seven years 
 who was an "amiable young party, who was good 
 enough to keep out of his way all she could." 
 
 Then something seemed to snap in her brain ; the 
 terrible strain gave way ; merciful, healing tears came, 
 and the woman threw herself down by the side of her 
 bed, and burst into passionate, hopeless, agonised 
 weeping, that robbed her of her little remaining 
 strength, and left her weak and weary as a child 
 after a long spell of grief. 
 
 Long after, when daylight forced itself through a 
 chink in the blind, when her eyelids, heavy and 
 drooping, refused to open, she dragged herself to her 
 feet and crept beneath the coverlet 
 
 Dimly she heard a servant coming towards her 
 room, dimly she realised that she was losing 
 consciousness, dimly she understood that blessed 
 sleep had come at last. And as her face touched 
 the cool linen, she dreamed that she was back in 
 Brabazon's rooms, and above his voice there rose 
 another, jovial, a little thick, full of intense amuse- 
 ment and curiosity 
 
 " Oh ! My aunt ! A PETTICOAT ! " 
 
 Marshall's wife, Catherine, crept about the room 
 softly as a kitten. She shook her head at the 
 
 27
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 untouched tray, and let her eyes wander to the wan 
 little face on the pillow. It was a very wan face ; 
 the cheeks were drawn, the lips were compressed, 
 even in sleep, and great purple shadows lay beneath 
 the heavy dark fringe of eyelashes. 
 
 One arm hung helplessly over the side of the bed 
 and across the fore part of it a tangle of bright, 
 copper-coloured, waving hair fell heavily. 
 
 " She have took on ! " murmured the woman to 
 herself, while she gently put back the arm, and 
 spread the fine masses of hair over the pillow, with 
 loving touch. ** She's just wore out with grievin 1 and 
 thinkin' ; and no wonder ! " The last remark was 
 addressed to the offending, untouched tray. 
 
 Taking it downstairs, she set it down with a mild 
 crash right under Marshall's nose. 
 
 "Look at that," she said, "not a bite in her lips 
 all the blessed yesterday! She's lying in her bed 
 like a little dead thing, so white and her eyelids 
 swole, and a sob catching of her breath like a child, 
 every moment or two. Have she said anything to 
 you where she's going or what she's meaning to do, 
 Marshall?" 
 
 " Not a word. I thought maybe she would after 
 Mr Meredith had been ; but she did seem fairly on 
 hot bricks all yesterday. He said he'd have a 
 talk with me ; but I never even see him go ! " 
 Catherine broke an egg into the poacher with a 
 little vicious crack. 
 
 ** There isn't a penny piece," she said, " Mr Grattan 
 warned us of that Miss Valerie's got to be out of 
 this house in three days at latest, and what I want to 
 know is what is she going to do? Where's she 
 going to ? She knows no more about earning a 
 living than this basin." 
 
 t
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "There was Mr Drummond's sisters, you know, 
 Catherine." 
 
 " What ! them old ladies at Dale ? Lor' bless you ! 
 why, Miss Valerie wouldn't never stand them nor 
 the place for a week ! " 
 
 "Poor child!" murmured Marshall. "She'll find 
 there's worse nor that to bear." 
 
 " But them ! Why, they're the sort not even the 
 master could abide to hear talked about." 
 
 " It'll be a home, anyway, and with her own flesh 
 and blood. That's something." 
 
 Catherine said " Um " dubiously, and flourished 
 a piece of toast about with some indignation. 
 
 " She as has had her own way from a baby," she 
 went on, "and has run wild, and been petted and 
 spoiled the way that would have ruined any other 
 girl it would kill her, Marshall." 
 
 " Well, don't you go telling her so. If she's got 
 to go there, down to Dale, let her go with a light 
 heart I'd be easier than if she stayed on by herself 
 in London. Just think what a beauty she's growed ; 
 just remember some of those as has been here and 
 gone pretty well wild over her. You know there's 
 all them left though her father is gone, and plenty 
 of them a bit free living. She'd maybe get mixed 
 up with a crowd as would do her no good. No, 
 Catherine, she's young, when all's said and done ; 
 and it's my belief, she'd be better off with the old 
 ladies." 
 
 " I suppose you're right," assented his wife, rather 
 grudgingly. "Lor', don't it seem dreadful that 
 anyone should die like the master did, and leave his 
 child wanting for even a roof! " 
 
 Marshall did not answer. The subject was 
 distressing to him to a degree. He brought a fresh 
 '- 9
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 serviette and spread it upon the tray ; and he 
 polished a knife with elaborate care, and passed the 
 duster over his moist eyes, surreptitiously. The 
 good old days of happiness in the service of those 
 two whom he had loved well were over, and no one 
 realised it more fully than Marshall. 
 
 Catherine was heavy-hearted too, though her very 
 back seemed to bristle with indignation as she went 
 out of the kitchen with her mistress's breakfast
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 IV 
 
 CATHERINE made such a clatter with the 
 tray that the sleeper stirred uneasily, and 
 the noise being followed up by a good deal 
 of rustling about the room, Miss Drummond 
 opened her eyes, coming back to life, and, very slowly, 
 to memory, with an effort that was painful. 
 
 " Is it late, Catherine ? " she asked. 
 
 " No, child it's early enough. If you'll just eat 
 this you may lie back and sleep all you like." 
 
 Valerie felt unequal to argument ; she also felt 
 weak with long fasting, and so she sat up on 
 one elbow, and took the slight breakfast half 
 unwillingly, half gratefully. By the time she lay 
 back against the pillows once more, sleep was 
 banished, and only clear memory remained. It held 
 her silent ; she lay quite still, her eyes following 
 the servant without seeing her. She still felt that 
 dull feeling of added loss, of dread, of bewilderment, 
 of bitter humiliation and shame ; but some of the 
 miserable helplessness was gone. With the light of 
 day, with the knowledge that the world was awake 
 again, that there was life all about her, in which she 
 must take part, there came to her almost all her old 
 courage wherewith she had often helped her father, 
 and sometimes, with him, fought Fate. It was 
 courage which had in it a touch of reckless, careless 
 daring courage that she inherited from him. It 
 was made up of patience, of extraordinary powers of 
 
 J
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 endurance, of natural light-heartedness that no amount 
 of adversity could destroy. Jack Drummond had 
 been her comrade and friend as well as her father; 
 he had taught her that there was nothing so bad but 
 that there was room for it to be worse, and she had 
 learned to believe it He had brought her up in the 
 comfortable certainty that something would be sure 
 to "turn up"; and as she had had good reason to 
 think that there was much truth in his prophecies, 
 she had fallen into the habit of taking life happily 
 on the fly, as he did, and generally coming out of 
 difficult situations very little the worse. 
 
 Last night it had seemed to her that she had 
 received her death-blow ; this morning, though she 
 looked back upon one hour of that night with shame 
 that made her cheeks tingle warmly, now, the rare 
 feeling of utter helplessness that had been hers then, 
 was no longer present The blood was so young in her 
 veins ; life should have but just begun for her, not, as 
 it had seemed a few hours ago, ended. Last night 
 she had wished to die ; this morning, while she lay 
 still, and let her eyes wander to the patch of blue in 
 the winter sky that she could see through her window, 
 she felt a shudder run through her at the fresh 
 thought of death, a determination to cling to 
 life with all her power. Beyond these four walls 
 there was surely freedom and hope for her ; of her 
 misery and her humiliation none knew none need 
 ever know. Her father had taught her that it was 
 only cowards who went under, easily, at the first 
 blow ; life had taught her that one must not endure 
 the blows too calmly one must hit back. Oddly 
 enough, her mind went back to old happy days made 
 happy by her father, not those that had been filled 
 with happiness by another. Days when they had 
 
 32
 
 NOR ALL YOUR. TEARS 
 
 made merry over a scanty meal, or a terribly empty 
 pocket. She was vaguely glad that she could 
 remember these things to-day. Laughter was far 
 enough from her now, but a glance back into the past 
 told her what her courage could be. It seemed to 
 point out a road to her that she had almost forgotten. 
 
 She sprang out of bed so suddenly that Catherine 
 was startled. 
 
 " Lor', my bird ! " she exclaimed. 
 
 " I feel better now, Catherine, thanks to your 
 breakfast," the girl declared. " I'll ring when I want 
 you." 
 
 The woman went, a little reluctantly. The words 
 she wanted to speak would not come. Catherine was 
 not very brave except with Marshall. 
 
 Miss Drummond made her toilette very thought- 
 fully and very slowly. She had pushed aside a little 
 heap of letters which she was sure would only tell 
 her again so many things that she knew already; and 
 she made a wry face at some bills, with which, she 
 was glad to remember, Mr Grattan had told her she 
 had no concern. Still thoughtfully, still making- 
 plans only to unmake them, she presently went 
 downstairs. Half way, she was met by Marshall, 
 who put all her plans to flight, and drove every 
 vestige of colour from her cheeks, by the announce- 
 ment that Mr Brabazon desired to see her. 
 
 "And I've showed him into the studio, Miss, which 
 it doesn't look quite so forlorn and empty," he added, 
 standing aside for her to pass. 
 
 Valerie did not answer ; she could not The little 
 sickly feeling of faintness, that had almost overcome 
 her last night, threatened her now. But Marshall 
 only saw that she went in the direction of the studio, 
 and entered it calmly. 
 
 33
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Brabazon turned sharply from the window at her 
 unexpectedly prompt appearance. He held out his 
 hand, which Miss Drummond chose not to see. 
 
 " I said I should look you up this morning, Val," 
 he declared, letting the rejected hand fall to his side 
 and his eyebrows go up resignedly, while he fixed his 
 tired eyes on her face. " It was worth a dozen of 
 writing what ? " 
 
 "You there is something you wish to say to 
 
 me ? " inquired Valerie coldly. Her tone was a little 
 perplexing. 
 
 " Of course there is I You know that well enough. 
 There are any amount of things ! Don't let us 
 quarrel, sweetest I hoped you would have slept off 
 your anger ! Last night I well, the fact is, I'd had 
 the very mischief of a day; I don't believe I quite 
 knew what I was saying or doing, and then those 
 men were there, and there was no time to come 
 to any arrangement " 
 
 " Arrangement ? What about ? " 
 
 M Why, about you of course ! And what is going 
 to be done and where you are going." 
 
 " Is that any business of yours ? " 
 
 " Whew ! I should rather think it is ! I like you 
 in a temper," he added softly, and came nearer to 
 her ; " but let's get over business before you start 
 bullying me, little girl. Then you may say what you 
 like, and I will forgive you ; you may cry your dear 
 little heart out in my arms, of course and I'll kiss 
 the tears away. Then we might motor down to 
 Truwell dine, and ..." 
 
 A smothered sound, that was something between a 
 moan of pain and a savage cry of rage, silenced him. 
 Valerie had stepped back out of his reach, her eyes 
 ablaze, her whole slender body quivering. The words 
 
 34
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 she would have spoken seemed to be choked back in 
 her throat ; she hated herself because she had no 
 power to speak, to order him from the room, to say 
 all that was in her heart. She felt the tears of anger 
 rising to her eyes and then falling miserably down 
 her cheeks, and she turned blindly away, knowing 
 that he mistook them for tears of grief, because he 
 reached her side in one step, and took her forcibly in 
 his arms, and kissed her throat and lips and hair and 
 closed eyes at will, while she lay for the last time on 
 his heart, while she fought with all her strength to 
 crush out of her own heart the love that seemed to 
 leap to life again beneath his touch. 
 
 " What a heart-broken little girl it is ! " he whispered 
 over her softly. "Don't cry so badly, darling. It is 
 all my fault, I know, and I want you to forgive me. 
 If I hadn't dined a good deal better than wisely, last 
 night, I don't think I should have let you into family 
 secrets. But as you know now, it is no use trying to 
 keep them dark. Do you, or do you not understand 
 my position ? " 
 
 Then, at last, she found strength to free herself, to 
 thrust him back from her so suddenly that his hold 
 loosened upon her unconsciously, to move quickly to 
 the other side of a broad table. 
 
 " Have you no mercy, no pity ? " she breathed 
 pantingly. M Have you not shamed me enough ? Oh, 
 my God ! what have I ever done to deserve this ; 
 harm enough, I own, but not not enough to warrant 
 this insult Why have you come here at all ? Why 
 do you seek me again? Did you not tell me last 
 night that you have a wife ? Can you not understand 
 that you might far better have driven a knife into my 
 heart" 
 
 " This is melodrama, my child." 
 35
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " It is truth ! I believed in you, I trusted you, and 
 you deceived me." 
 
 " You loved me, too ; you love me now ! " 
 
 She held her hand heavily over her heart for a 
 moment, but though she neither admitted nor denied 
 it, Brabazon was well satisfied. 
 
 "You deceived me," she went on, "that ends 
 everything. Cannot you understand that the only 
 thing I pray for now is that I may never look upon 
 your face again, that I may have power to forget you 
 utterly. Your place is not here it is with your wife. 
 Go to her, but never dare to seek me again. So far 
 as I am concerned, I can only tell you what, in your 
 heart, you must know, that you have filled all the 
 years that may come for me with shame and 
 everlasting regret shame that I should have been 
 weak enough to put myself in your power, regret 
 that I could ever have cared sufficiently for you to 
 to stoop to deception to worse for your sake. 
 You know what I mean ; you know that the only 
 thing I ever hid from my father in all my life, 
 was my our friendship. I told you last night that 
 I blamed myself so entirely that I could not blame 
 you much. And you reminded me that I am no 
 innocent school-girl. That would seem to rob me of 
 all excuse for ever having trusted you ; yet I have an 
 excuse I have been taught always to believe the 
 simple word of a gentleman. I believed you loved 
 me, and I knew I loved you in that, all is told. I 
 trusted you always doubt was nowhere in my mind. 
 You know that you know," covering her face for a 
 moment with both hands, "how well I trusted you. 
 I believed that one day I should be your wife was 
 it so odd that to you first of all my thoughts should 
 turn 1 should turn? And when I could bear the
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 suspense and the silence no longer, I came to you 
 to hear that you had a wife already oh, to hear that 
 for eight long years you have called this woman wife 
 to realise that while I gave you all my faith and 
 trust, while I I O God ! while I let you lead and 
 I followed blindly, you, for your sport, were laying 
 the foundation stone of the ruin of my whole life, 
 you in your heart were mocking at my trust, as you 
 have doubtless mocked at the trust of many another 
 woman. And, more than that, I came to you to be 
 offered the deepest insult of which you could possibly 
 think to hear that it is your belief that my eyes 
 were open always to to my position." 
 
 Her voice, always low and pretty, had scarcely 
 risen by a tone ; but it was so full of passion, of 
 contempt for herself, and something more than 
 contempt for him, of mingled weariness and anger, 
 that, for a little while, he let her speak on, not 
 attempting to interrupt her. 
 
 " What I do in the future is no concern of yours ; 
 whither I go, of my will, you shall never know; but 
 be sure it is where all memory of the past may be 
 shut out, and where you and I may never meet 
 again. The blow you have dealt me has dug the 
 grave of my love, though, in spite of that, it is hard, 
 yet, to bury it, and I know that in time I shall be 
 able to look back upon this year as upon one 
 that was never a year in my life, that there will be no 
 touch of grief in my heart for the loss of you, but 
 only grief for my own pitiful weakness. I know that 
 I shall laugh, when laughter may come to me again, 
 at my own self-deception, which lasted long enough, 
 alas ! to make me your dupe. And yet," with a 
 little gesture of despair, " I could almost wish that it 
 were not so, that I could keep the memory at least 
 
 37
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 sacred it would take away some of the disgust, some 
 of the shame." 
 
 Brabazon had listened carefully, and not very 
 comfortably. For the first time in all his reckless, 
 evil life there came upon him a touch of shame, a 
 feeling of compassion for a woman whom he had 
 deceived and betrayed. It might have been that, with 
 her words still ringing in his ears, he realised how 
 completely he had worked the ruin of her young life ; 
 it might have been that he realised that he was 
 parting, perhaps, this once, from a woman of whom 
 he had not yet tired, and whom he would not willingly 
 let go without a struggle. 
 
 But the shame and the compassion died a swift 
 death ; he caught most clearly the tone of anger in 
 her voice, and he decided that it was a good sign. 
 The greater her anger hers or any woman's 
 the more pleasant the task of comforting her ; also 
 the more easy. It only remained for the tears to 
 come again the woman who wept forgave soonest. 
 
 " I don't deny that from your point of view I 
 deserve all you have just said to me, Val," he said 
 suddenly, letting his voice sink to soft persuasive 
 gentleness, and his eyes speak swift, tender passion 
 straight into hers. " The only excuse I have to offer 
 is my love for you, and also my fear of losing you. 
 I cannot give you my name ; but I can give you 
 love and happiness I can give you all my care and 
 the best of my life, such as it is. As for all the rubbish 
 you'd have me believe about not caring for me, pooh ! 
 you're in a rage, little woman, and perhaps a trifle 
 jealous though I swear to you, you need not be 
 and you say things to-day that you will regret to- 
 morrow. I know you better than you know yourself, 
 Val," reaching her side and putting a tender arm about
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 her shoulders and holding her in a grip from which 
 she knew she could only escape by a violent struggle. 
 " You're absolutely alone, and for that matter so am 
 I, in spite of ties which I do my best to forget ; and 
 who shall hinder us from finding our happiness in our 
 own way? If you went on telling me for an hour 
 that you hated me, I should not believe you. I 
 should remind you, instead, of a day a year ago, when 
 we first met, of another day, long after that ; ah ! and 
 many other days that I defy you to forget, defy you 
 to regret, when ..." 
 
 " And so you are a coward, too ! " she breathed, 
 very low, but with her eyes ablaze, and every word 
 coming in a gasp. Then, throwing herself back, she 
 released her shoulders, and with a swift movement 
 that he failed to arrest, put her hand heavily upon the 
 bell. 
 
 Marshall must have been remarkably close at hand ; 
 before the sound died away he was in the room. 
 
 Miss Drummond turned to him quietly, but with a 
 very white face. 
 
 " Open the door for Mr Brabazon," she said. 
 
 39
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 VALERIE stood with her hand closed tightly 
 upon the window curtain ; she heard the 
 door below shut ; Brabazon's step upon 
 the pavement outside ; and she leant 
 forward in time to see his tall figure passing leisurely 
 round the corner of the street. 
 
 That chapter of her life was ended ; that page 
 folded down! The chill brilliance of the winter 
 morning faded before her eyes ; everywhere misery 
 and hopelessness stared her in the face the only 
 restful spot in all the world was the cold, restless 
 river opposite, and to that her eyes turned with 
 unconscious longing. 
 
 A short, respectful cough, meant to attract her 
 attention, roused her. Marshall was standing at 
 her elbow with a letter upon a tray. 
 
 " It came by special messenger, Miss." 
 
 Valerie recognised the writing. It was that which 
 always appeared on the envelope of a letter from Mr 
 Grattan, the gentleman whom she had been wont to 
 style "our confidential, family solicitor." She made 
 a wry face at it; there was not likely to be much 
 inside to interest her. And when Marshall had gone, 
 she opened it with indifferent fingers, but fingers 
 that still trembled. 
 
 Mr Grattan informed her that all which could 
 possibly be done for her had been done; that the 
 
 4
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 little which had been saved out of her father's 
 possessions had been already handed over to her; 
 and that there was nothing further he, himself, could 
 do, gladly as he would have helped her. Then he 
 went on to say that he had received a visit from her 
 aunts, the Misses Drummond of Dale, who desired 
 it to be made known to their niece, through him, 
 that they were willing for her to make their home 
 her own till she had succeeded in getting employ- 
 ment, which employment they were prepared to help 
 her to find. He expatiated rather tactlessly upon 
 their generosity, and advised their niace most 
 strongly to accept their offer of a home. He hinted 
 that this would undoubtedly mean a start in life for 
 her, and reminded her that she was certainly not in 
 a position to refuse such an offer lightly. And for 
 a long time Valerie studied the letter carefully. She 
 had forgotten her aunts the slight mention that 
 had been made of them by Mr Grattan at the time 
 of her father's death. They were women whom she 
 had never seen, so far as she could remember ; 
 women of whom her father had never spoken to 
 her. Beyond knowing that he had two sisters, she 
 knew nothing about them. In the early days of her 
 childhood she had formed the idea that he and they 
 were not friends ; latterly, up to the time of her 
 father's death, she had completely forgotten their 
 very existence. But now she remembered them ; 
 now she remembered that if she chose, she might, 
 through them, escape from her own little world, 
 almost from memory, and she might certainly put 
 the past quite behind her. There was temptation 
 in their offer which could not have existed in it had 
 it been made a day sooner made seriously. She 
 had heard, with indifferent ears, that they had asked 
 
 4'
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 her to go to them, from Mr Grattan, before ; she 
 remembered now that even her father's friend, Mr 
 Meredith, had advised it, and had seemed glad that 
 these ladies had written to her. But she had paid 
 so little heed. If she noticed their invitation at all, 
 it was to regard it in the light of many little 
 sympathetic, meaningless compliments she had 
 received in the first moments of her grief. She 
 remembered now, that they had written to her and 
 evidently to Mr Grattan, and it came to her in a 
 vague sort of way that they would not be likely to 
 pay anybody a sympathetic, meaningless compliment. 
 There was certainly temptation in their offer in Mr 
 Grattan's dull, chill, pedantic letter. Unconsciously 
 he had shown her a way out of her world ; he used 
 the words "a start in life," and she read in them a 
 meaning which he had not intended. She wanted 
 to start afresh ; and these unknown women, her aunts, 
 gave her the opportunity at the very moment when 
 she was eager to grasp it. She remembered that 
 one of her father's favourite sayings was that no 
 door ever shut but that another flew open. It had 
 seemed to her that the gates of a paradise of her 
 own making had been slammed in her face ; it 
 seemed to her now that the door to hope, to a new 
 life, a new world, had been opened to her. The past 
 should be shut away behind ; only the present 
 should live in her mind. 
 
 She rang the bell again. 
 
 " Marshall," she said, M my aunts, Miss Hermione 
 and Miss Angela Drummond, whom I fancy you 
 know a little, have asked me to go to them and I 
 am going at once. I shall be sorry to leave you and 
 Catherine, but Mr Grattan explained everything to 
 you, and you know I have no home, and no money 
 
 4*
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 till I can earn some!" with a rueful little smile. 
 " I'm afraid I shall never get very rich on my own 
 earnings, Marshall, are not you ? " 
 
 " I'm afraid not, Miss Valerie," returned Marshall 
 honestly, with tears in his old eyes ; " and I pray God 
 you may never need to. I knew your mother, Miss, 
 from the hour that she was your father's wife, and a 
 fairer, frailer flower never was put on this earth. You 
 cost her her life, Miss Valerie, and you were all your 
 father had to cling to in this world when she was 
 gone. Now I want you just to remember that, and 
 that these ladies are the master's sisters, God rest 
 his soul ; and I want you to be a bit patient, which 
 it isn't in you to be, with their ways, and the 
 dulness of the life that you'll find at Dale. The 
 Miss Drummonds aren't like their brother, Miss, but 
 they're your own flesh and blood, and they'll help 
 you to the right way, no doubt, though they'll go 
 about it in another way to what you would yourself." 
 And Marshall stopped, abashed at his own temerity, 
 broken with grief now that the actual moment of 
 parting from his young mistress seemed to have 
 arrived, and observing curiously that she was very 
 silent and meek under his well-meaning words of 
 advice. 
 
 " I'll remember, Marshall. I'll remember what 
 dear souls you and Catherine have ever been to 
 me and to dear father, too. Will you send her 
 to me now? I want her to help me pack, and I 
 want you to send a telegram for me presently." 
 And she took his hands in hers, and touched his 
 withered cheek with her fresh young lips, as she had 
 done in childhood's days. 
 
 Half an hour later Valerie sent the following 
 telegram 
 
 43
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "To Miss DRUMMOND, 
 
 DALE, DINSDALB. 
 
 " Many thanks to you and Aunt Angela, I shall 
 be with you to-night, if I may. V. D. " 
 
 And though this telegram was sent off before two 
 o'clock, it was close upon half-past seven in the 
 evening when it was brought to the elder Miss 
 Drummond, at Dale. An upper housemaid presented 
 it to her, while she was just in the act of putting 
 on a pair of short black mittens as the finishing 
 touch to the toilette she had made for dinner. 
 
 "A boy from the village wants to see me?" 
 she inquired, with a slight frown at something the 
 maid murmured softly. "What do you mean, 
 Elsom?" 
 
 " I mean he wants to tell you about it, ma'am. 
 That is what he says, anyway, and Mr Upton thought 
 I had better let you know." 
 
 Miss Hermione clasped a band of jet beads round 
 the bone of her wrist slowly. If Upton thought it 
 necessary that she should see this messenger, she 
 thought so too. 
 
 " Take him to the morning-room," she said. 
 
 There she presently found a shy youth, who 
 fidgeted first on one leg and then on the other, 
 and nervously twisted his wet cap into a rag ball. 
 
 " Mr Parkins he told me to tell you, Miss, that the 
 telegrim was sent off from London afore two, but 
 it never come anigh here till after five, and it have 
 took me the best part of two hour and a half to 
 get here with it" 
 
 While he spoke, Miss Drummond was reading 
 Valerie's message. 
 
 "This is rather serious," she said. "What is the
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 cause of the delay, and its delivery in this irregular 
 manner ? " 
 
 "Tis the storm, Miss. The wires is broke from 
 Mitching to Dinsdale ; and the roads is fair blocked 
 with the snow, Miss. I know it took me " 
 
 " I'm quite aware of the fact that it took you two 
 hours and a half to get here," interrupted Miss 
 Drummond tartly. She rang the bell. 
 
 " Upton," she said, to the old, sour-faced man who 
 came in answer, "take this young man away, and 
 let him wait Is Miss Angela down ? " 
 
 " Yes, ma'am." 
 
 " And is the storm so very bad ? " 
 
 " So I hear, ma'am." 
 
 " Ask Miss Angela to step here, please." 
 
 "Angela," she said slowly, as her sister entered, 
 " this is a telegram from Valerie poor Jack's girl. 
 The storm, which has damaged the wires, and the 
 terrible state of the roads, are responsible for the delay. 
 It was sent before two, and we ought to have had it 
 long ago." 
 
 Miss Angela was reading aloud. 
 
 " Many thanks to you and Aunt Angela, I shall 
 be with you to-night if I may. V. D." 
 
 " Is not that just what one might have expected of 
 a girl like that ? " she said, looking up. " Such rude 
 haste, such ill-mannered impulsiveness. She takes no 
 notice of our first letter, but now, acting upon Mr 
 Grattan's advice, I presume, she accepts our offer 
 without a moment's hesitation." 
 
 " I believe she was obliged to leave her present 
 home immediately that may account in some way 
 for the haste," declared Miss Hermione. "The 
 question is now, Angela, what will she call 'to-night'? 
 Will she have started ? . . . " 
 
 45
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Surely she would wait for our answer 1 " 
 
 " You think she would ? " 
 
 "My dear sister 1 She says If I may; she would 
 expect to hear, after that" 
 
 "To many, to a girl brought up by Jack, for 
 instance, the 'if I may' would be a mere figure of 
 speech. I was thinking, if she has started " 
 
 " Without giving us time for preparation ! " 
 
 " It would be just what poor Jack would have done, 
 There are only the express and the slow train to-night 
 We cannot send to see if she arrives, as the roads are 
 so bad, and " 
 
 " I don't think I should trouble about it She is 
 surely not so ill-mannered as to make a sort of hotel 
 of our house ; besides, if she were coming, she would 
 have mentioned a train. We had better let the lad 
 take our answer to the post office." 
 
 Miss Drummoiid wrote in silence for a few minutes ; 
 then she read the message aloud. 
 
 "Your telegram delayed by storm. We shall be 
 prepared to receive you on Friday." 
 
 "If you cut out the 'we shall be' it will go for 
 sixpence," said Miss Angela, counting carefully. 
 
 " Not with the address." 
 
 "Well, three halfpence less, anyway and there is 
 the porterage, you know, and a trifle for the lad, I 
 suppose ? " Upton was summoned again ; and as he 
 took the return message, he announced that dinner 
 was served. 
 
 It was nearly nine o'clock before Upton left the 
 ladies in possession of the fruit and two glasses of 
 water, and free to talk upon the subject which filled 
 their minds. 
 
 " I regard the introduction of Valerie to Dale as a 
 somewhat hazardous venture," observed Miss Angela, 
 
 46
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEARS 
 
 " I don't quite see how it could have been avoided, 
 Angela. We are her only relatives, and even though 
 we saw little or nothing of Jack, we cannot shirk our 
 plain duty now that he is dead. I have been think- 
 ing, however, that it will be wise to give her a 
 sitting-room for her own use. Young girls are often 
 exceedingly boring, when they are not merely a 
 nuisance. If only Jack's child had been a boy ! " 
 
 " Ah ! " breathed Miss Angela, " If 1 There would 
 have been the Army or the Navy in view, then, and so 
 much comfort to be derived from a nephew's society." 
 
 " Shall we go into the drawing-room ? " her sister 
 asked, and added, when they were closed in that 
 room, "we must not borrow trouble. There is no 
 reason why we should keep Valerie longer than it 
 will take to find employment for her. I only hope 
 she is not so remarkable in appearance as she was at 
 eight years old according to a photograph Jack sent 
 us then. Will you take tea or coffee? Because I 
 am going to have tea, and it is hardly worth while to 
 make both." 
 
 " I will have tea, then. I do hope Valerie really 
 did not start ! " 
 
 While one old lady was hoping thus, and the other 
 was giving an order for tea ; while both were working 
 diligently upon some coarse, grey flannel, destined to 
 come very near to an unfortunate village child's skin, 
 Miss Valerie Drummond was, as a matter of fact, 
 quietly stamping her pretty little feet on the floor of 
 a railway carriage which she had occupied for several 
 hours, and which belonged to a train that seemed no 
 nearer reaching Dinsdale than when it had stood 
 fuming noisily, in Paddington Station. The only 
 other occupant of the carriage was a man who had 
 entered it at the last stopping - place, about five 
 
 47
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 minutes ago, and who, while feigning to read the 
 evening paper, was watching, with furtive, admiring 
 eyes, the girl's beautiful profile, the scarlet of slightly 
 pathetic lips against the whiteness of her face, and 
 the waves of hair that shone like gold, beneath the 
 black of her hat 
 
 He was just rehearsing some commonplace remark 
 about the weather, which could not well offend, when 
 his fellow-traveller turned swiftly round. 
 
 M I wonder," she said to him, meeting his eyes with 
 that clear, frank gaze which was one of her principal 
 charms, "if you know whether this wretched train 
 goes to Dinsdale at all ? And if it does, whether it 
 is likely to get there to-night ? " 
 
 " To Dinsdale ? " he returned, removing his cap and 
 keeping it in his hand, " I believe it is supposed to 
 reach there somewhere about nine o'clock. This is 
 the slow train from London, you know, which 
 becomes a local after Deeping, and stops everywhere. 
 You are bound for Dinsdale ? " 
 
 u I was, when I started ! " she declared, with a little 
 smile that revealed very pretty teeth. "I begin to 
 have doubts of being bound for anywhere in particular, 
 now ! " 
 
 "Oh, you must not give up hope so soon. As a 
 matter of fact, we are close to M itching, which is not 
 so very far from Dinsdale ; but I understand that, 
 for the last hour, it has been a difficult matter to clear 
 the line. Did you ever see such a fall of snow ? It 
 is quite the kind of blizzard that heaps up into little 
 mountains before one realises what is happening." 
 
 M I hope it won't heap up on the line just yet . . ." 
 
 And as Miss Drummond spoke, the train came to 
 such a sudden, unexpeoted halt, that she was shot 
 forward violently, almost into the stranger's lap. 
 
 4*
 
 NOR ALL YOUE TEAKS 
 
 " I fear your hope is too late," he declared. " If I am 
 not greatly mistaken, we have run into a snow drift." 
 
 He let down the window on his side, but the air 
 was so dense with steam and snow, fine as powdered 
 glass, that he could see nothing. The wind swept 
 through the open space in a great gust that blew the 
 papers about, and threatened the light The engine 
 was making a deafening noise ; the officials were 
 running about, talking, shouting, answering a hundred 
 questions put to them by the passengers, at random. 
 
 " Do not be alarmed," the stranger said, obliged 
 to shout at her. " I will get out and see what has 
 happened." 
 
 Ten minutes passed before he returned ; and 
 Valerie saw that there was a rather anxious expres- 
 sion upon his face, though he spoke cheerfully. 
 
 " It is as I thought," he said. " There is no chance 
 of getting away from here for hours. I fear you will 
 get very cold and hungry long before we can hope to 
 proceed and I don't quite know what to suggest 
 It is ten minutes' walk along the line to the next 
 station, and when one gets there, there is not even a 
 hotel or an inn nothing." 
 
 " How very disagreeable ! I suppose I must just 
 sit here and wait, and freeze," with a little laugh. 
 
 He smiled back at her; it was good to see her 
 accepting the situation so easily, even merrily. It 
 was plain that she was not in the least afraid, either, 
 which simplified matters greatly. 
 
 " Were you going to Dinsdale, too ? " she asked. 
 
 " No; just from one house to another, and only a 
 little way down the line. But while you remain here 
 I shall stay with you. It is not nice to think of you 
 being alone for hours." 
 
 He stood on the foot-board with his face partly 
 49
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 turned towards the cheerless outlook ; but Valerie 
 had an opportunity of studying it It was not 
 particularly good-looking, certainly not handsome ; 
 but it was exceedingly kind, and its whole attraction 
 lay in some expression of the mouth, some very 
 gentle light which lay deep down in the grey-, 
 blue eyes. His skin was very bronzed, as with 
 travel or exposure to the open air ; his hair, what his 
 barber had left him of it, was brown, with here and 
 there a suspicion of grey; and he was tall, straight, 
 and broad-shouldered. 
 
 He turned round suddenly. 
 
 " If I were for myself " he said, " I should walk. 
 Are you a good walker ? " 
 
 "Very." 
 
 " Will you let me take you with me, then ? Except 
 the station beyond, there is nothing nearer than 
 Mitching ; but I know every inch of the country ; and 
 across it, by short cuts, it is not very far. Will you 
 come ? " 
 
 Valerie was already standing up, and now one foot 
 was on the board. 
 
 " You are very good," she said, while he took her 
 hands and helped her carefully to the ground. " I 
 would far rather be walking, and getting a little 
 nearer home." Still she did not move immediately, 
 and her companion said : 
 
 " May I present myself? My name is Wingate 
 I am going on to Delmar Lodge. Perhaps you 
 know ..." 
 
 " No ; I am quite a stranger here." 
 
 She moved a little in the direction of the lights as 
 she spoke, and he kept close to her side, now and 
 again putting a warning hand on her arm, as she 
 hastened onward. 
 
 5
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 She did not tell him her name, or anything, but 
 that she wanted to get to Dinsdale. It did not 
 convey much, and he could not well ask more ; but he 
 wished he knew with whom she was staying. Her 
 frank acceptance of his assistance, her ease of manner, 
 the absence of any kind of foolish hesitation on her 
 part, pleased him. He noticed that she carried herself 
 with extreme grace, and he decided that she was 
 married. 
 
 " You have luggage a maid with you ? " he 
 inquired. 
 
 " Only my dressing-bag, which you are carrying 
 no maid." 
 
 "Then I think we ought to be getting on. The 
 sooner we reach M itching, the sooner you will be able 
 to set your people at rest about you." 
 
 " Thank you, yes." 
 
 She kept easily at his side, walking with as much 
 freedom as the high wind and the darkness and the 
 heavy roads would admit. They spoke seldom, 
 because the fine snow blew in their teeth, and they 
 had to roar out every word at each other. She never 
 once showed the faintest trace of uneasiness or 
 fatigue ; and in spite of all the disadvantages, they 
 kept going at a steady pace. And when, far ahead, 
 she caught the uncertain twinkle of lights, she breathed 
 a little sigh of relief. 
 
 " That is the beginning of Hitching," Wingate said. 
 "Are you very tired ? " 
 
 " Not very." 
 
 Once more there was silence. They came at last to 
 a dismal, deserted market-place, at one side of which 
 there was a small inn. One or two men who were 
 lounging about the big wooden gates touched their 
 caps, recognising Wingate ; and the inn-keeper gave 
 
 5*
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 him and his companion a respectful and hearty 
 greeting. 
 
 "Dear, dear me, sir! Why, you must have the 
 sight of a owl to have got over the roads to-night ! 
 It have been a storm, but it's wearin' itself out this 
 part, now. Sir Grenvil, he have sent down from the 
 Lodge twice, sir, and hardly a horse been able to 
 stand." 
 
 "I want you to find one that will stand now, 
 anyway, Hanson ; and to allow this lady to rest a 
 little while in your parlour." 
 
 " Why, most certainly, Mr Wingate. My old horse 
 Tom, and the rough cart they don't mind no sort 
 of weather 1 This way, sir. Now, ma'am, I'll send my 
 wife to you.** 
 
 " And I am going to send you some mulled wine, 
 which I really insist upon you drinking," added 
 Wingate, as he followed the host out of the room. 
 
 It was fully twenty minutes before he returned, and 
 in the meantime Mrs Hanson had managed to dry 
 Valerie's boots a little, and to remove all traces of 
 snow and dirt from her clothes. 
 
 When Valerie found herself comfortably seated in 
 the cart, wrapped round with many rugs, she saw 
 that Wingate was mounting to the seat beside her. 
 
 ** You are coming ? " she exclaimed. 
 
 " Unless you object." 
 
 "No, of course not! But you will never get 
 home yourself Mrs Hanson told me that it is 
 nearly seven miles to Dale ! " 
 
 " And if it were seventy I should see you safely 
 there. You are in my charge, you know, Miss ..." 
 
 M I am Valerie Drummond I am going to my 
 aunts, the Misses Drummond, at Dale." 
 
 Wingate lifted his cap again, as he took the reins 
 52
 
 NOE ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 into one hand, and the next moment the horse, feeling 
 its head free, started forward. 
 
 It was perforce a long and a cold drive, and even 
 in the rough cart behind " Tom," who scorned to be 
 upset by the weather, it was not an easy one. 
 Wingate had to devote his whole attention to the 
 animal, and conversation was very nearly impossible 
 in the howling wind. 
 
 " I wish I could have got you a better conveyance," 
 he managed to say, once ; but Valerie shook her 
 head, and declared she was quite comfortable. 
 
 She was thinking to herself that she hoped he knew 
 no one belonging to her world that she had left 
 behind ; he was wondering if Grenvil Delmar, the man 
 at whose house, here, he was staying, knew the Misses 
 Drummond, and hoping that he did. The name 
 recalled certain memories vaguely ; he was not clear 
 what they were, but he was certain that it was very 
 familiar to him. 
 
 " Can you just distinguish that huge, white thing 
 that looks like a small mountain?" he asked, by 
 and by, pointing with his whip. " Well, that is a 
 cliff, and the house you want lies just this side 
 of it" 
 
 The next moment he was shouting lustily to the 
 lodge-keeper, with evidently little effect The gates 
 were closed, but no one came to open them, and 
 finally Wingate got down and opened them himself. 
 A large, white house faced them, a house in which 
 there was no sign of light or life. The cart came to a 
 halt at the door. 
 
 " Is it very late ? " inquired Valerie. " I believe 
 everyone has gone to bed ! " 
 
 Wingate looked at his watch by the light of a 
 match. 
 
 53
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 " It is five minutes to twelve. Did they not expect 
 you ? " 
 
 " I wired early." 
 
 " They may not have received it. The storm, you 
 know. We must rouse someone." And he went up 
 the two wide steps and hammered on the door loudly. 
 
 Valerie was shivering a little when he returned 
 to her. 
 
 " You are cold ? " he said. 
 
 " No ; it looks so dark, and cheerless I am almost 
 afraid " 
 
 The sound of slow footsteps within, the ringing 
 of a bell, also within, and the scraping of heavy 
 bolts came to them. Valerie turned to her companion 
 with out-stretched hand, and a little grateful, yet 
 wistful smile. 
 
 " How can I thank you enough ? But for you I 
 should be in that wretched train still 1 Thank you, 
 so much more than I can say." 
 
 " Please do not, it has been a very great pleasure to 
 help you even so little. May I ..." 
 
 " Well, if it's anybody that wants to come in, why 
 don't they come?" demanded a thin, peevish voice 
 from the half-open doorway a voice that Valerie 
 soon learned belonged to Upton. 
 
 " It is Miss Drummond, who has been delayed by 
 the storm," Wingate replied, with a touch of severity 
 in his voice. Instinctively, he caught himself giving 
 some explanation of her late arrival 
 
 The door opened more widely. Upton drew the 
 overcoat which he had donned in haste more closely 
 about him, and held the flickering candle high above 
 his head. 
 
 " Good-bye," murmured Valerie again, as she drew 
 her hand from his and hurried up the steps. 
 
 54
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAES 
 
 She was in the hall, the door was closed, and she 
 was following Upton, whose very back, the heels of 
 whose very slippers, bristled with indignation. She 
 was being taken up a broad flight of heavily carpeted 
 stain, at the top of which two tall, angular women 
 stood close together, in flannel wrappers held tightly 
 round their thin forms, with their grey hair falling 
 limply over their shoulders, with their eyes fixed on 
 Valerie's face wonderingly, disapprovingly. Upton, 
 with his eyes discreetly bent upon the floor, retired. 
 And then Valerie spoke. 
 
 " I I am so sorry ! " she murmured, in a voice 
 from which all the courage had fled. "There was 
 no sign of a storm when I started ; and here it 
 was terrible. I " 
 
 "Your arrival in this er haste, to-day of all 
 days, is certainly a little unfortunate," observed 
 Miss Angela, frigidly. "We quite thought you 
 would wait to hear from us. I am your Aunt 
 Angela, this is your Aunt Hermione." 
 
 Valerie presented a timid hand and cheek to each. 
 
 " I am sorry," she began again; but Miss Drummond 
 interrupted with a shiver. 
 
 " Will you come into my room a moment ? It 
 is certainly less chilly than out here." And Valerie 
 followed both women to a bedroom on the right 
 It was dimly lighted by one candle, the fire had 
 gone out, and the bed hid itself behind dark brocaded 
 curtains. Her aunts sat upon the edge of it and 
 regarded her somewhat sternly. 
 
 " You started before receiving our telegram, then ? " 
 Miss Drummond said. 
 
 " Oh, yes ; I came at once, as soon as I had sent 
 you word. I I did not think that you would not 
 want me, or I would have waited." 
 
 55
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " We suggested that you should come on Friday." 
 
 " I am sorry," breathed Valerie, without originality 
 but with genuine regret "You had invited me, 
 you know, and left me to decide, I thought, upon 
 accepting the invitation, and it it seemed best 
 for me to come at once." One sister was looking 
 " I told you so " at the other, and Valerie was 
 standing, a sweet, hesitating figure, before them. 
 " You you are not vexed ? " 
 
 "Not vexed no," said Miss Angela, who had 
 no idea that she was not telling the truth. "We 
 are not quite used to being swooped down upon 
 as though we were hotel proprietors. However, 
 there it is, and since you are here you are welcome," 
 stiffly. 
 
 Valerie bit her lip and coloured ; but she managed 
 to crush back the natural retort that trembled on 
 her tongue's tip, and to murmur "Thank you." 
 
 " But," said Miss Drummond, " I don't understand 
 how you managed to get here at all." 
 
 " I got a trap at the ' Hare and Hounds,' Mitching ; 
 at least, a fellow-traveller whom I met in the train, 
 and who helped me very kindly, got it for me." 
 
 " But how did you get to Mitching ? It is six 
 miles by rail, and we were told the line was blocked." 
 
 " It was. How far up or down the line, I don't 
 know. It meant staying and freezing in the train 
 all alone for the night, or letting him take me with 
 him to the inn." 
 
 " What 1 " The single word left both pair of lips 
 simultaneously ; the tone in which it was uttered 
 defies description. Both ladies got off the bed's 
 edge and sank into chairs, and Valerie took this 
 as permission to be seated herself. 
 
 u It isn't so far, if you know the short cuts across 
 56
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 country," she said swiftly ; and as they were silent, 
 only questioning her with their pale eyes, she went 
 on : " / don't, of course, but he did I daresay he 
 lives about here he said he was staying somewhere 
 near, anyhow. He offered to take me to Mitching, 
 and I was only too glad to accept his assistance." 
 
 Miss Drummond was startled into murmuring, 
 " Good heavens ! " 
 
 And her sister added, " Do you mean to tell 
 me that you left the train with an unknown man \ 
 and walked miles across the country with him at, 
 perhaps, eleven o'clock at night\" 
 Valerie nodded. 
 " Why not ? " she asked. 
 
 " Why not ? Have you no sense of the fitness 
 of things ? " 
 
 "It was a good deal better than stopping in the 
 train alone, when all the passengers and officials had 
 left it, and being, perhaps, robbed and murdered ! " 
 " Nonsense ! Some nice lady or a man with his 
 
 wife and " 
 
 "Oh, this man may have a wife and a dozen 
 children for all I know," laughed Valerie. " I can't 
 see that it makes the least difference." 
 
 " Perhaps not," with asperity ; " but it would have 
 been at least more more respectable." 
 
 " I don't understand you, Aunt Angela. There is 
 an accident I am stranded, and my companion a 
 man is kind enough to show me the way to the 
 nearest town. He finds me a horse and trap, 
 and is also kind enough to drive me here. Would 
 not you have done as I did in similar circum- 
 stances ? " 
 
 " Never 1 " breathed Miss Hermione. 
 "But why not?" 
 
 57
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " My dear Valerie 1 With a man alone at that 
 hour!" 
 
 "Man or woman, what does it matter so long as 
 it was company and someone who knew the way? 
 What would you have been afraid of?" 
 
 Miss Angela stretched her scraggy throat in an 
 effort to swallow more easily ; Miss Hermione looked 
 at their niece hard, and both ladies decided to drop 
 the subject 
 
 "Your rooms are prepared, though we did not 
 expect you till Friday," one of the sisters said, 
 rising. "You will like to go to them now." 
 
 Miss Angela moved to the door, Valerie following ; 
 but when she reached it, she turned back. Her 
 cheeks were flushed, her lovely eyes very full of 
 tears. Her heart cried aloud for some little touch 
 of love, of sympathy her tender heart, that had 
 been so recently and deeply wounded. 
 
 " Don't be angry with me ! " she pleaded. 
 
 "We are not angry, Valerie, but we hope that 
 in the future you will conduct yourself with with 
 more decorum." 
 
 " Aunt Angela, Aunt Hermione, I I will try to 
 be to do what you wish. I am, after all, your 
 brother's child. I " 
 
 " I think," said Angela, " that we are likely to be 
 reminded of that very forcibly." 
 
 Then Valerie went out of the room, and her heart, 
 that could have been made to soften towards them 
 now and for ever, grew hard. Her gentler mood was 
 gone. Her desire to try to be what t.ey wished 
 never came to her again.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 VI 
 
 VALERIE slept the sleep of one who is worn 
 out mentally and bodily ; all through the 
 night she dreamed of trains that would 
 not move onward, of dim country roads, 
 of a hard-visaged pair of women whose very voices 
 sent a chill to her heart. And in the morning she 
 woke unrefreshed, to find that she had but twenty 
 minutes in which to dress. 
 
 While she filled the bath, a housemaid informed 
 her that breakfast was at nine, and that the Misses 
 Drummond were generally downstairs at half-past 
 eight, winter and summer. 
 
 Valerie, who had never had breakfast at a table 
 in her life, who had been accustomed ever since she 
 could remember to having her tray brought to her 
 room, to reading, in later years, the newspapers 
 between her sips of coffee, and to getting through 
 her toilette somewhere about noon, felt as though 
 the maid had emptied, by mistake, the can of cold 
 water down her back instead of into the bath. 
 
 To be down at half-past eight ! It would require 
 months of practice ! Her luggage had not yet 
 arrived, and she feared to don the white kimono, 
 with black stalks strutting about all over it, that 
 reposed in her dressing-bag, and which was the only 
 gown she possessed at the present moment, except 
 the one in which she had arrived last night That, 
 however, had been very carefully brushed by an 
 admiring housemaid, who seldom saw anything of 
 
 59
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 the kind, and was seized upon gratefully by Valerie, 
 as she heard the clock striking nine. 
 
 Arrived in the lower hall, Upton informed her that 
 " the dining-room " was " through the narrow passage 
 on the right," in acid tones, for which she wished she 
 might have boxed his ears. Contenting herself with 
 hoping that he would trip up with the tray, she found 
 her way thither, and was considerably relieved to 
 discover that she was, after all, the first to arrive. 
 
 Her aunts, coming in a few moments later, paused 
 for a long moment after their "good-morning," and 
 evidently forgot their breakfast, as well as that it is 
 impolite to stare. Miss Angela moved a restless 
 hand across her eyes, as though something in the 
 girl's beauty dazzled them unpleasantly. Valerie 
 stood with her back to the fire, fastening a hook at 
 her wrist-band, while, with her head slightly bent, 
 she looked up under her lids from one severe face 
 to the other. 
 
 This was the girl who was to be dependent upon 
 them for a time, this the girl for whom they were 
 to find employment (the bare thought presented 
 difficulties already), this the girl who would, they 
 had decided, submit to their management ! This 
 the girl who should humbly and gladly snatch at 
 their offer of a home, who, they supposed, had been 
 living in miserable dingy " rooms," and who, they had 
 secretly hoped, would know how to behave herself 
 when she took up her residence beneath their roof! 
 This the woman ! who stood before them now, 
 beautiful with a beauty so uncommon that it was 
 painfully apparent even to their unwilling eyes ; 
 gowned in dull black but black of such style, such 
 perfect cut black which began in a little soft, filmy- 
 bit of transparent lace at her throat and across her 
 
 60
 
 NOR ALL YOUE TEARS 
 
 chest, and set closely to her perfect figure, and ended 
 at her feet in a narrow border of fox fur ! Black 
 which enhanced the whiteness of her skin, and, more 
 than all, the rich copper tint of her wonderful hair 
 that, with the flickering light of the fire upon it, 
 shone like threads of gold in a red sunset ! This the 
 woman ! whose every movement was full of grace, 
 and gave indication of perfect ease ; and who now 
 seemed to be waiting for them to speak, with her 
 soft eyes, that held a mingling of merriment and 
 quaint half fear, fixed disconcertingly upon first one 
 hard face and then the other ! 
 
 Miss Angela cleared her throat. 
 
 " Did you sleep well ? " she inquired. 
 
 " Pretty well, thank you." Valerie was waiting for 
 them to be seated, and then took her place at the 
 side of the table, between them. 
 
 " It would have been better if I had not dreamed 
 that your butler would not let me in, and that the 
 snow was freezing me." 
 
 There was no answering smile to this allusion to 
 last night's arrival, and Valerie sipped her coffee in 
 silence. 
 
 "Perhaps," suggested Miss Hermione, "you did 
 not have sufficient blankets?" 
 
 " Oh, I was very comfortable, thank you." 
 
 Silence again, broken only by the crunching of Miss 
 Angela's toast Her niece, while seeming to attend 
 only to her breakfast, was studying both ladies care- 
 fully. They were sufficiently alike to be instantly 
 recognised as sisters ; they were tall, angular women, 
 who wore their old-fashioned garments with an air of 
 superiority and triumph, tipped with a little pitying 
 scorn for those of their sex who were differently 
 attired. They had iron grey hair, fresh complexions, 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 pale blue eyes fringed with light brown lashes, thin, 
 straight mouths, and good, white, even teeth. They 
 wore prim, dark dresses, almost guiltless of trimming, 
 short, full skirts, and flat-heeled, square-toed boots. 
 
 Altogether they were so unlike any women she 
 had ever known, so unlike anyone she could have 
 imagined belonging to her father's family, that for a 
 moment Valerie felt a little chill creeping over her. 
 She had not forgotten her reception last night She 
 would never forget it, and the memory would 
 prejudice her against these women all her life. 
 
 After breakfast, Miss Hermione invited her to 
 come to the morning-room. 
 
 "Angela does most of the housekeeping," she said. 
 " She goes to see Barker now, but if you will come 
 with me, Valerie, I should like to talk to you. Can 
 you bear to tell me a little about your father, and 
 yourself," she added, when they were seated in a 
 rather bare, cheerless room which seemed to look 
 on to the wall that possibly surrounded a kitchen 
 garden. " You see," with that tone coming into her 
 voice which suggested always to Valerie's ears 
 sarcasm veiled with a little lame playfulness, "we 
 really know so little about either." The tears came 
 thickly into the girl's eyes at the mention of her 
 father, and for a moment she did not answer. 
 
 " If it makes you cry," began Miss Hermione, 
 without much sympathy; but Valerie interrupted a 
 little sharply 
 
 " I am not going to cry. What is it you want to 
 know?" 
 
 It was not exactly an encouraging speech, or one 
 prettily put ; and her aunt set her lips tightly, while 
 the deep hollows at her temples seemed to grow 
 deeper.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " I understood Mr Grattan to say that your father 
 left nothing not even a little for you." 
 
 " He left nothing for me or for anyone. He had 
 nothing to leave. He never made much money, and 
 what he did make he spent and gave away most 
 generously. He never refused any who were in 
 need. He was a splendid artist, but he could not 
 get many people to believe it ; and besides, I don't 
 think he ever cared much, after mother died." 
 
 " That, at anyrate, was twenty years ago," returned 
 Miss Hermione, with slightly uplifted brows, that 
 somehow had the effect of irritating her niece. 
 
 " And what of it ? I suppose a man may be faith- 
 ful to even a memory for twenty years though it is 
 rarely that he is faithful to a living creature for as 
 many weeks," she added, with a touch of unconscious 
 bitterness that made her aunt look up sharply. 
 Valerie caught the look, remembered what she had 
 said, and coloured. The elder lady looked exceed- 
 ingly shocked. 
 
 " I do not call that a pretty speech," she said, 
 stiffly. 
 
 " The truth is seldom pretty or pleasant," returned 
 Valerie. " Anyway, father never forgot mother." 
 
 " I we only saw your mother once. She was a 
 very remarkable looking woman ; you are very like 
 her." 
 
 " Oh, I shall never be half so lovely. I have seen 
 pictures of her ; Marshall and his wife, and Bertha, 
 our servants, you know, told me of her often. They 
 say " 
 
 " Did you keep three servants ? " 
 
 "Yes," indifferently, "lately. We had not room 
 for more, after we went to live at the studio." 
 
 " Oh ! I suppose you managed to help your father 
 63
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 In some ways otherwise ; " curiously, " you must have 
 found it a little dull." 
 
 "Dull! With father, and all the students ever- 
 lastingly in and out of the place ! Oh, it was never 
 dull ! The house was full from morning till night, 
 and generally from night till morning." 
 
 " Indeed ! I should imagine that sort of life was 
 neither conducive to work nor to the saving of 
 money ; nor can it have been particularly good for 
 a young girl." 
 
 "Well, as I've told you, father never could save 
 money ; and as for work, why, he was one of those 
 happy-go-lucky, sweet-natured creatures who ought to 
 have had millions with which to do good, and never 
 have been obliged to do a day's work except for his 
 own pleasure." 
 
 " I think, Valerie, that you cannot be aware 
 that you are talking very foolishly. Our lives are 
 ordered, set out, and there is work of some sort 
 for us all. I do not wish to say anything that 
 you might think unkind about your father, now 
 that he is dead ..." 
 
 M No, please don't ! " advised Valerie, in a tone that 
 warned even Miss Hermione to pick her words 
 carefully. 
 
 "... now that he is dead. But one has no right 
 to be idle when there is work to do, no right to be 
 generous to others when there are one's own to 
 think o I hope you will take that to heart, and 
 remember, that in earning your own living, which you 
 will have to do presently, it is your duty to look to 
 the future, to put by for illness, or old age, so that 
 you may never be a burden upon anyone." 
 
 Valerie coloured to the roots of her lovely hair, not 
 with shame, but with anger, and with the wild effort she 
 
 64
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 made to check the words that rose to her lips. 
 How she would grow to hate these women ! She 
 felt it. With every word they spoke, she knew 
 she should have hard work to be civil to them 
 for a week. 
 
 " Which reminds me," she returned, a touch of 
 haughtiness creeping into her voice, "that you told 
 Mr Grattan you and Aunt Angela were willing to 
 help me to look for work. I am afraid I shall have to 
 trouble you to do this, because I have not the least 
 idea of setting about it myself." 
 
 u It will be no trouble. Your Aunt Angela and I 
 will be glad to help you. But at the same time we 
 are willing to keep you here for the present till you 
 have time to recover a little from your loss. So we 
 will talk about the work later on. What is there 
 for which you have a fancy ? " 
 
 " I am afraid there is nothing. What are the 
 employments for women, to-day ? " 
 
 "The lady-like employments," corrected Miss 
 Hermione, 
 
 Valerie shrugged her shoulders. 
 
 " If by lady-like, you mean teaching little children, 
 or acting as companion to old people, I don't think I 
 have a fancy that way at all. I am certain that I 
 should simply loathe it ! Moreover, the little ones 
 would bowl me out in one day I couldn't teach a 
 thing of three ! And besides that, the governess and 
 companion business are quite out of date they've- 
 vanished since you were young, Aunt Hermione. I 
 think I could look after peoples' dogs, or their horses, 
 and I could superintend the sending up of a dinner. 
 Then to hark back to ' shop ' I had not thought of 
 it before, but there's quite an art in being a good 
 model" 
 
 63
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Valerie /" Miss Hermione's thin hands went up in 
 horror, her fine nostrils spread in indignation, 
 
 " I expect you've heard silly things about them," 
 said the youngest Miss Drummond easily, but her 
 aunt waved wildly for silence. 
 
 " What I have heard has not been ' silly ' ! I 
 request you not to mention those er objectionable 
 sort of people again. Would you like to go out," 
 with sudden inspiration and change of tone. " We 
 do not have luncheon till two ; and the sea is quite 
 handy if you like the sea." 
 
 " I love it." 
 
 " Then go if you like, and make its acquaintance at 
 Dale. I expect you have been used to going out 
 alone ? In my young days girls did not go out unless 
 accompanied by a maid ; but, as you reminded me 
 just now, those old-fashioned prejudices which should 
 be natural, born of er niceness, have vanished with 
 the lady-like employments for women ! Wrap your- 
 self up warmly ; the winds are very cold here." 
 
 "The winds are not colder than their hearts," 
 thought Valerie, as she went up to her rooms. Her 
 own heart was chilled. This life was going to be 
 so much harder than she had thought. Indeed, she 
 had thought about it very little. She had come 
 here on the impulse of the moment ; and now, the 
 memory of what had driven her to seek the safety 
 of the home offered to her, brought the hot colour 
 to her face. Yesterday all had been haste and 
 bustle, her one desire to get away, quite away, 
 from her own world. Then she had thought of her 
 aunts' home as a refuge she had thought that she 
 might dwell there in peace and seclusion, and none 
 would ever know that she had been shamed and 
 humiliated as she had been that day. Then she 
 
 66
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 refused to give herself time to think, lest she should 
 be tempted into drawing back ; now she knew that 
 she had had many hours in which to think and 
 reflect, and she began to realise a little what this 
 new life would be. 
 
 Already she felt resentment towards the women 
 who had opened their doors to her. She dreaded 
 their questions, their severe glances. Her blood boiled 
 at their little half bantering, half bitter remarks, 
 tipped always with some tone that suggested a 
 perfect sense of their own moral superiority over 
 their fellows. Yet a deeper flush spread over her 
 face at the knowledge which came to her like a 
 blow, that if these women could see right into 
 her heart, if the pages of the last year of her life 
 could be unfolded before their hard eyes, they would 
 take her by the shoulders and put her far outside 
 their doors. They would never give her pity or 
 sympathy ; they would only give her scorn. She 
 had made up her mind to forget she had begun 
 to find out already that forgetfulness was not so 
 easy. She was honest and truthful by nature, and, 
 first of all, it shamed her, it lowered her in her own 
 sight, to know that she was dishonest to those to 
 whom she owed her very bread. They took her 
 into their home because they did not know they 
 would never know she had no right to resent 
 anything they said or did. In that hateful knowledge 
 lay the sting which must for ever rob life of its 
 sweetness, which must for ever take from her life 
 its chief joys. 
 
 " I have been talking to Valerie," announced 
 Miss Hermione, when, half an hour later, her sister 
 joined her. " She has gone for a walk on the cliff. 
 I have been talking to her, and and do you know, 
 
 67
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Angela, I am afraid the girl has not a a nice mind. 
 She has a freedom of manner, too, which I suppose 
 she acquired in the studio. I begin to fear that we 
 shall never find her nice work, or that if she gets 
 it, she will never keep it" 
 
 "She certainly will not if she does her hair in 
 that remarkable style, and wears such such very 
 peculiar gowns. / call that dress she has on to-day 
 almost indecent, and quite unsuited for breakfast ! " 
 
 " Her luggage has not arrived, you know, Angela,* 1 
 said Miss Drummond, who prided herself on being 
 strictly just. 
 
 Angela, who was obstinate, tightened her thin lips 
 into a straight line, and shrugged one lean shoulder 
 upwards. 
 
 " I discovered that Jack had a house in Chelsea ! 
 They kept three servants, lately, and formerly, 
 evidently more. Whilst we pictured him struggling 
 for a living, they were living in luxury ! " 
 
 "My dear Hermione, while Jack was her father, 
 you must not lose sight of the fact that she'd a 
 mother too ; from what we know of her, we must 
 not expect too much of the daughter ! " 
 
 Miss Hermione nodded. She also said something 
 more about duty; and then, with a sigh, she took 
 up her work-basket 
 
 68
 
 NOE ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 VII 
 
 i 
 
 MEANTIME Valerie was mounting the 
 narrow path which led straight from the 
 Dale grounds to the top of the cliff. 
 Arrived at the highest point, she paused 
 and turned her face to the keen salt breeze. It was 
 glorious, it gave her new life ; yet it brought a touch 
 of sadness to her heart There was something in the 
 utter loneliness, in the stretch of bare, deserted beach, 
 which seemed in perfect harmony with her lonely life. 
 The dull roar of the waves, their melancholy, 
 backward wash, the sullen sky above, and behind her 
 the dim, deserted land they were like her moods. 
 
 She stood for a long while with her face towards 
 the breeze ; it blew her hair into little moist rings, 
 and tried vainly to unsettle her small hat And it 
 did something more, it brought to her nostrils, beside 
 the fresh, salt smell that she loved, the unmistakable 
 odour of a most admirable cigar (Valerie was a judge) 
 a cigar which someone was certainly smoking close 
 at hand. There was another path below hers, and 
 curiosity prompting her, she leant far forward, at the 
 risk of overbalancing. In the heavy white sea-mist 
 her eyes met other eyes that were not quite strange 
 to her ; they rested upon a face that she remembered 
 perfectly, that had upon it the glow of splendid health ; 
 the features of which were clear-cut and strong, the 
 keen eyes, that she was sure could be terrible in anger, 
 and soft as a woman's in tenderness, grey-blue. She 
 
 69
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 was looking down, silently, upon the man who had 
 piloted her to Mitching last night, and afterwards 
 driven her to Dale. And she gave such a start that 
 he put up a quick warning hand. 
 
 " Be careful ! " he said sharply. A moment later 
 he came round by a cut in the cliff and was at her 
 side. 
 
 " I was afraid you were going to fall ! Good 
 morning, Miss Drummond," holding out his hand. 
 " I was just coming to Dale to find out whether that 
 servant with the vicious little voice had eaten you ! I 
 really hardly liked leaving you with him." 
 
 " Coming to Dale ! " with real consternation in her 
 voice. " Oh, please don't do that never do that 
 at least to to see me." 
 
 "Thank you!" 
 
 " Oh, I don't mean it rudely or inhospitably," she 
 said, with quick distress. " Only they my aunts 
 would not like it. They were awfully annoyed 
 because I walked with you to Mitching last night, 
 and you drove me home afterwards." 
 
 " Indeed ! " Wingate's eyebrows were lifted a little, 
 and there was a smile about the corners of his mouth. 
 " They have some peculiar notions as to how you 
 should have spent your time, then." 
 
 " They have ; they would have preferred that I 
 remained in the train till morning. But tell me," 
 quickly, " how did you get back over those horrible 
 roads? I thought about you every time I woke in 
 the night, and how you must have hated me during 
 the return journey." 
 
 "That was good of you to think of me, I mean. 
 For the rest, you are quite at fault. I cannot imagine 
 anyone hating you. So you think I had better not 
 call at Dale? Not even if I come with Delmar? 
 
 70
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 he is the man I am staying with, not very far from 
 here who, having met the Misses Drummond three 
 years ago at a church concert, could make that quite 
 sufficient excuse for bringing me to see you ? " 
 
 " Oh, if you come with your friend I have nothing 
 to do with it" 
 
 " Pardon me, you would have everything to do 
 with it." 
 
 " But my aunts would not know that," she re- 
 turned, looking up at him amusedly under her lashes. 
 
 In the broad light of day he thought her 
 even more lovely than he had thought her last 
 night Beneath gas or lamp light she had seemed 
 a trifle too white ; in the rough wind her cheeks 
 gained colour and her eyes brilliance. Wingate was 
 trying to puzzle out their colour. 
 
 " Are you going for a walk ? he asked now, and 
 added, before she could reply, " Let me show you 
 the quaintest bit of the sea-shore for miles." 
 
 She acquiesced by stepping out briskly beside him. 
 
 " So you don't think you will like this place ? " he 
 questioned, presently. 
 
 " Did I say so ? " 
 
 " No ; but your eyes did when you spoke of your 
 aunts." 
 
 " They are very tell-tale, then." 
 
 " I think they are. Still, I am right ? " 
 
 "You are very persistent. But if you want to 
 know, really, I think I shall hate it. The place 
 seems sweet it is the narrow life I shall never 
 endure." 
 
 " I am so glad you told me your name last night," 
 he said, somewhat irrelevantly. " I was afraid you 
 were not going to. You only said you were going to 
 Dale, which was not much to go upon."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 M To go upon ? " 
 
 " Miss Drummond," with a little frank laugh that 
 was very pleasant, " I am nothing if not truthful. 
 When we were in the train, at first, I thought you 
 might be going to visit at some house of, perhaps, 
 mutual friends I hoped you were. When I heard 
 you were bound for Dale, I remembered with regret 
 that I knew not a living soul there, and I concluded 
 that you were married, and going to your own 
 home." 
 
 "Whatever put such an idea into your head?" 
 asked Valerie, annoyed with herself because she felt 
 that her cheeks were hot beneath his glance. 
 
 " It was your manner, I think ; the utter absence 
 of any silly nonsense. Oh, you know what I mean 
 your acceptance of the situation, and my protection 
 for the moment, with the very charming grace of a 
 thorough woman of the world ; not with either the 
 awkwardness of a mere inexperienced girl, or with 
 the brusque off-handedness of the mannish young 
 lady who wears a very short skirt and a Norfolk 
 jacket, and . . . but what is amusing you ? " 
 
 Valerie shook her head ; she was indulging in the 
 first long, hearty laugh that she had enjoyed for 
 several days. 
 
 " I was wishing Aunt Hermione could hear you ? n 
 
 " I wish you liked your home better," he said, with 
 real sympathy that brought tears to her eyes, which 
 tears emboldened him to put a gentle, detaining hand 
 on her arm. "Of course I am only a stranger to 
 you," he added swiftly, almost apologetically ; " but 
 we were companions in misfortune last night the 
 sort of misfortune with which, if one choose, one can 
 bridge over a good gulf; and but I was going to 
 tell you how it was that your name, directly I heard
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 it, seemed familiar to me. I knew a man what is 
 the matter ? " Valerie had come to a sudden halt, 
 a little involuntary cry had left her lips, and her hand 
 had gone out, as though to silence him. She forced 
 a smile at his hasty question. 
 
 " Yes ? You knew a man do I remind you of 
 him?" 
 
 " It is a very odd thing that you should ask me 
 that," returned Wingate. " In a way, you do. It is 
 your voice, I think. It is years ago, twenty, I daresay, 
 since I met this man in Rome. His name was the 
 same as yours. He was an artist, and at that time 
 terribly down on his luck. He had just lost his wife, 
 poor fellow a mere girl, whom he simply worshipped ; 
 and she had left him with a little helpless infant that 
 he seemed at his wits' ends to know what do with. I 
 was only a boy myself at the time, but I remember 
 being deeply impressed. He was such a thorough 
 good chap. But I never saw him from that time to 
 this, or heard of him, until, quite by accident, I heard 
 the other day that he was dead only a few weeks 
 ago. Why," looking at her sharply, and with great 
 concern, " there are tears in your eyes what a brute 
 I am ! I have made you cry ! . . . " 
 
 She ran the back of one little bare hand swiftly 
 across her eyes. "He was my father that is all," 
 she explained simply. M He died a little while before 
 I came here ; and I," with a little watery smile, " was 
 that helpless infant ! Did you ever see me ? Was I 
 red and hideous ? " Her quick transition from distress 
 to amusement robbed him of the fear that he had 
 touched on very dangerous ground. 
 
 M Is it possible ? " he said. "Is it possible that in 
 you I find the daughter of old Jack Drummond ! 
 What a little world it is after all ! You cannot refuse
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 to be friends with me now, Miss Drummond, you 
 cannot say that your aunts will refuse to know me. 
 Remember our first meeting dates back to twenty 
 years ago, and your father and I were great friends, 
 though we lost sight of each other after he left Rome." 
 
 " You never met him afterwards ? " she questioned, 
 with a touch of uneasiness. " You you never 
 heard of him, of us, in London ..." 
 
 " Never. You may be sure I should have hunted 
 him up. But then, for years, I have lived very 
 little in England." 
 
 "And father never made any great name." A 
 little sigh escaped her, not for the failure of her father 
 only, but in intense gratitude that this man knew 
 nothing of him from the time they had parted in 
 Rome. It was very pleasant to talk with someone 
 to whom you could say what was in your mind, 
 without weighing every word first ; it was nice to feel 
 that you might laugh quite aloud ; and it was good 
 to hear a kindly voice that had no ring of superiority, 
 no sarcasm in it. But for all that, this man's presence 
 was like a breath from the world against which she 
 had turned her back yesterday, that world which she 
 wanted to forget And she was saying to herself 
 
 "This is coming to a place where I thought I 
 should be unlikely to meet any but lean curates and 
 country matrons. This is leaving my own world 
 behind!" 
 
 "You cannot refuse to be friends with me now," 
 Wingate was saying again, because she had not 
 answered that part of his remark. 
 
 " No ; but still, we shall rarely meet." 
 
 "Why? You are not going to bury yourself in 
 this place all your life. You will be going back 
 to town." 
 
 74
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " I am going to stay here or or somewhere 
 similar always." 
 
 "And I stay with Grenvil Delmar half a dozen 
 times a year." 
 
 " Perhaps ; it makes no difference." 
 
 " I beg your pardon. You told me just now that 
 I was persistent I fear you must think me even 
 worse. We have passed that bit of the shore I was 
 going to show you, also. Would you like to go 
 back?" 
 
 " Now you are vexed with me, and you have been 
 so kind, and you were once a friend of father's, and, 
 oh, don't you see that I do not want to be disagree- 
 able, or . . ." 
 
 She had stretched out her bare hand, and Wingate 
 took it in a firm, warm clasp. 
 
 " I understand," he said. " You are a little out 
 of love with yourself and all the world to-day, 
 Miss Drummond ; and I believe I am right when 
 I imagine that your aunts have not shown you 
 quite the kind of sympathy which should be given 
 to you now, of all times. I am just a stranger to 
 you, but do believe that I feel for you deeply, and 
 that I am more sorry than I can say to hear of 
 my old friend's death." 
 
 "You are good," she murmured very low. 
 And then they walked back, almost to Dale, in 
 silence. 
 
 " I am only going to say good-bye till to-morrow," 
 he declared, when he left her. " I shall make Delmar 
 come over and bring me too, on the strength of 
 that church concert three years ago." 
 
 " What a life for a child like that ! " Wingate said 
 to himself as he strode back in the homeward 
 direction. " She is almost afraid of those old women
 
 NOB ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 already ; 1 expect poor Drummond left her dependent 
 upon them." 
 
 And he thought contentedly upon their meeting 
 and upon another, which he determined should take 
 place before long ; and he lit a fresh cigar and pulled 
 at it reflectively, while there came to him the pleasant 
 memory of sweet eyes that had looked at him through 
 tears, of whose colour he could not yet be sure, 
 of a plaintive red mouth, and of a low voice that rung 
 in bis ears like a haunting bell
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 VIII 
 
 WING ATE had a good deal of difficulty 
 in inducing his host to call upon the 
 Misses Drummond. He had men- 
 tioned the ladies' name to him on that 
 night when Valerie had been stranded in the storm ; 
 but Delmar seemed to take singularly little interest 
 He knew them very slightly, yes. He thought 
 that during that time when his mother had lived at 
 the Lodge, they had met It was three years ago, 
 and, as far as Delmar could remember, they were 
 extremely unattractive women. He could not 
 quite understand Wingate's anxiety to make their 
 acquaintance. 
 
 He said so, this afternoon, just a week from that 
 day on which Wingate had declared to Valerie his 
 intention of storming Dale on the morrow. 
 
 " This is the first time in my life that I have ever 
 seen you so keen about anything, Kerr," Delmar 
 remarked, with a laugh. "What is it that you are 
 trying to induce me to do? Call upon two old 
 ladies who live at Dale, and take you with me? I'm 
 not sure they would not absolutely shut the door in 
 our faces! I should hate," a little plaintively, "to 
 be snubbed by a woman who wore flat-heeled, square- 
 toed boots. There is only one thing I distinctly 
 remember the Misses Drummond by, and that is the 
 shape of their ankles it was awful! No, suggest 
 
 17
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 something better, my dear Kerr throw in a little 
 youth and beauty, and 
 
 "If you will go to Dale you will be amply 
 rewarded, so far as youth and beauty are concerned," 
 returned Wingate, " though I know well that you are 
 blind to both." 
 
 "You malign me not blind. And now I am 
 getting, as the children say, warm. The lady of the 
 storm, the maiden whom you rescued from the snow, 
 and who by the way delayed you about four hours 
 on your journey here last week it is she who is the 
 attraction." 
 
 " Precisely. You could not possibly suppose it 
 was either of the women of the ankles ! I am quite 
 frank with you, Grenvil. Miss Drummond interests 
 and attracts me. I am quite sure she is very 
 unhappy, or will be, with her aunts ; I I knew 
 her father, many years ago: you must remember 
 having heard of him anyhow, Jack Drummond the 
 artist ? " 
 
 " Certainly I have. So she's his daughter, is she ? " 
 
 " I've been telling you so for a week." 
 
 "Forgive me. I am becoming not only selfish, 
 but absent minded. Tell me about her again ; I 
 swear to give you my whole attention." 
 
 "There is very little to tell," returned Wingate, 
 walking thoughtfully up and down the room. "As 
 I've said, this lady is a daughter of Jack Drummond, 
 who died a little while ago, and, it is my firm belief, 
 left his child dependent upon his sisters. You know 
 more about them than I do, doubtless ; but from 
 the very little Miss Drummond has said of them and 
 hei life with them I have met her twice during 
 her rambles abroad and from the manner in which 
 I judge that she was received on the night of her
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 unfortunately late arrival at Dale, I should imagine 
 they were the sort of people to drive a girl out 
 of her mind. It is monstrous to think of a child 
 like that leading such a life! You will have the 
 house full presently, and I know you would be the 
 first to help to make it a little less dull for her 
 if you could." 
 
 "There are thousands of other young and lovely 
 women whose lives are dull and narrow," began 
 Delmar, with a twinkle in his eye. 
 
 " It may be, but I don't happen to be interested 
 in them, you see. I expect if these old women only 
 saw the child speaking to me, or heard of it, they'd 
 shut her up in the house like a prisoner, and " 
 
 "And so you want to be introduced to her 
 properly ; quite right. And you want me to go and 
 make love to those awful old women, and, if possible, 
 bring the child here presently, when the house fills 
 up. You shall have your way. What I can do 
 towards it I promise you I will do, with all my 
 heart. If Pat interests herself in her ..." 
 
 "Ah, then she will have the best time in the 
 world. I pin my faith to Pat" Wingate spoke 
 lightly, but there was a ring of genuine affection 
 ia his voice ; and into Delmar's eyes there came 
 for a moment an expression that only came into 
 them at the mention of this woman's name, a light 
 that only she ever saw in them. Even now, he 
 kept his face turned away from his friend for a 
 short moment. 
 
 "As there is no time like the present," he said, 
 after a short pause, " suppose we storm the inmates 
 of Dale this afternoon ? " 
 
 And so it happened that as the clocks were 
 striking five, Upton opened the great hall door of 
 
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 NOK ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 Dale in his very own grudging, uninviting way, 
 and a minute later that of the drawing-room. 
 
 "Sir Grenvil Delmar and Mr Wingate," he 
 announced, in his sour, petulant treble. 
 
 Miss Hermione Drummond looked at her sister, 
 and both ladies looked at Valerie, who half rose 
 in her chair near the tea table, sat down again 
 swiftly, and coloured crimson from her throat to 
 the roots of her pretty hair. 
 
 Grenvil Delmar, advancing, greeted both ladies as 
 though they were quite his best friends and he was 
 in the habit of calling upon them at least once a 
 week. He reminded them swiftly and deftly of his 
 meeting with them on a former occasion, and tactfully 
 ignored that it was years ago ; he recalled to their 
 minds, without any difficulty, his mother, and lied 
 beautifully and most convincingly while he told them 
 how often she spoke of them in her letters, how 
 interested she was, still, in their village work, and 
 how she had given him countless messages for 
 them, which, he was ashamed to say, he had never 
 delivered. 
 
 That he did so thus tardily, to-day, he declared 
 was because, at last, his conscience had pricked him 
 with severity as he was driving past the gates of Dale. 
 And he gave imaginary messages from his mother 
 with ease and fluency that took Wingate's breath 
 away ; he talked so winningly and charmingly to 
 the forbidding old ladies, with a certain manner 
 that, for the moment at least, won them over to his 
 side, introduced Wingate, and was made known with 
 him to the youngest Miss Drummond so naturally 
 and pleasantly, that not even Miss Angela could 
 frame at once the frigid speeches that she was 
 longing to utter.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 She and her sister thanked him slowly for 
 delivering his mother's messages (they each kept a 
 mental eye upon the fund now being raised for 
 the new schools, and they were sufficiently snobbish 
 at heart to treat this man, who was distinctly 
 somebody in the neighbourhood, with a little more 
 courtesy than they would have treated a nobody), 
 offered him tea, and found themselves talking to 
 a most flattering listener, while Wingate devoted 
 himself entirely to Valerie. 
 
 Delmar thought she very nearly upset everything 
 by turning suddenly to him, but apparently including 
 everybody in the small piece of information she gave, 
 explaining that she and Wingate were not quite 
 strangers. 
 
 " You know," she said, " that we got lost, or very 
 nearly lost, together, that dreadful night when there 
 had been such a storm here. You remember, Aunties, 
 that I told you how kind Mr Wingate was to me ? " 
 
 " I remember," said Miss Angela, " but I don't 
 think I caught Mr Wingate's name, if you even told 
 us, Valerie. We have to thank you, Mr Wingate, for 
 saving our niece a nasty, cold wait in the train." 
 
 While Wingate took the opportunity of addressing 
 himself to the ladies, Delmar made his way over to 
 Valerie with the cake-dish. 
 
 " I am awfully pleased to make your acquaintance, 
 Miss Drummond," he said in an undertone, replacing 
 the cake, which she refused, on the wrong- table, and 
 sinking down on the sofa beside her. 
 
 " It seems that Kerr knew your father, long ago, 
 and I'm almost certain that once I knew him too 
 at least I'm sure I did by reputation ; and as Wingate 
 is one of my oldest, indeed the oldest and best friend 
 I have, and I claim all his friends as mine, I hope you 
 
 81 r
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 are going to let me call myself your friend too. You 
 know I spend the whole of the winter and a good part 
 of the spring at Delmar, in a most unfashionable way, 
 and a few others who are after my own heart in this 
 respect, come down and help to liven up the place. 
 My sisters are coming next week, even if my 
 mother does not ; I hope you will let me bring them 
 to see you, and come over to Delmar whenever you 
 can." 
 
 " You are very good," said Valerie, with sweet, 
 grateful eyes raised to his. " I should love to come. 
 Even though I have been here such a little time, 
 several of the people round about have told me what 
 a dear old place Delmar is ; and then it is it is so 
 friendly and kind of you to to want to give me 
 pleasure. But my aunts do not go anywhere, and 
 I doubt if they would let me go without them." 
 
 "We must try what our combined powers of 
 persuasion can do," he declared so cheerfully, that 
 Valerie felt there was hope. And then he turned to 
 Miss Angela and adroitly brought the conversation 
 round to the subject of their orchids, which had, for 
 years, been the talk of the county. 
 
 The ladies rose helplessly to the bait. Their thin 
 mouths widened into positive smiles ; they actually 
 forgot Wingate and Valerie, and they instantly took 
 possession of Delmar, and led him, a willing captive, 
 to the orchid-house. 
 
 " So you see, I have come here at last," Wingate 
 said, as the door closed behind Miss Angela and 
 Delmar. 
 
 " I see you have, and Sir Grenvil with you. He is 
 certainly a man of considerable courage, and no mean 
 amount of tact ! This last interest in their wretched 
 orchids is a master-stroke."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Wingate laughed. 
 
 "You have seen through him, then." 
 
 " I don't know about ' seen through.' I only know 
 that nobody can want to be talked at about orchids, 
 I've had them undiluted for a week, I've had to grope 
 and grub about in their interests ; and what with 
 orchids and grey flannel for the poor, I'm hopelessly 
 bewildered." 
 
 " You are no happier, then, here, than you were at 
 first, than you thought you should be ? " he asked. 
 
 Valerie shook her head. 
 
 " But you will come to Delmar when Grenvil asks 
 you you will let us try " 
 
 " He has asked me I think it was so kind and 
 thoughtful of him," with a wicked little glance from 
 under her long lashes. " Only they," and her head 
 was jerked backwards in what he supposed to be 
 the Misses Drummonds' direction, "will never let 
 me go." 
 
 "Not when the house is full not when his 
 sisters " 
 
 " Not if all England should be there. Besides," she 
 added, as a sort of afterthought, " I don't know that 
 it would be very good for me." 
 
 " Why not ? " 
 
 " Well, for a time, this is my home. One gets used 
 to almost anything, you know, and I shall use myself 
 to this life. If I had a glimpse of any other, again, 
 the sort of life I have lived and loved so well, it 
 would only be harder for me here and and after- 
 wards, when I go away." 
 
 " Then you are going away ? You are not going 
 to remain here always ? " 
 
 " No ; I am to launch out on the great sea of the 
 world for myself, you know. The only thing that is 
 
 83
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 standing in the way is the utter inability of my aunts 
 to find one single thing for which I am fitted." 
 
 He was silent for a moment. It was as he had 
 thought, then ; Jack Drummond had left her depend- 
 ent upon his sisters, and they were going to drive her 
 out into the world. Perish the thought ! 
 
 "Do you remember the story of the three little 
 pigs who set out to build themselves houses ? " she 
 went on laughingly. " One had only furs with which 
 to build, the other straw ; but the last had bricks. 
 I have no bricks mine must be furs or straw. Have 
 you ever built a house of straw and had it swept 
 down? I have, and so I suppose that makes me 
 rather dread to build another." 
 
 Whatever his answer might have been, it was 
 checked by the sound of Miss Hermione's voice not 
 far off. 
 
 " When shall I see you again ? " he asked hastily. 
 
 " I feel certain that you will not be asked to repeat 
 your visit of this afternoon," Valerie returned, with a 
 touch of mischief ; " and unless you are a great deal 
 bolder than I think, you could not reasonably put in 
 an appearance under a week." 
 
 He made a gesture of impatience. The voices 
 were coming nearer. 
 
 ** But I might take my walks by the cliff path." 
 
 "Certainly you might It is rather out of your 
 way, however." 
 
 "And you?" 
 
 Her eyes met his. Something deep down in them 
 set his pulses beating quickly ; it was a mingling of 
 pleading, quite unconscious, which roused in him 
 something more than pity, something different to 
 pity; of sadness, of fear, that she strove to hide, 
 that roused in him a touch of impatience ; and of
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 coquetry that he would far rather not have seen 
 in them. 
 
 "Oh, I," she returned. "Well, one can never be 
 quite sure what I shall do from one hour to the 
 other ! " And at that moment Delmar and the 
 ladies entered. 
 
 " I don't know," said Delmar, ten minutes later, as 
 he and Wingate were driving homeward, "that I 
 should call this visit of ours an unqualified success. 
 Whilst I admired the dear Miss Angela's orchids, 
 they were very nice, but it struck me that if one 
 ventured to admire their niece they would be any- 
 thing but nice. She's delightful, and very lovely 
 . . . the niece of course ! " 
 
 "They seem to me rather impossible women," 
 declared Wingate, who was a little out of humour 
 with the world in general at this moment 
 
 " Of course you told them all about having known 
 their brother. I expected every moment that they 
 would fall upon your neck and weep ; I should have 
 been bound to insist on Miss Valerie weeping on 
 mine, then." 
 
 "Yes, I told them. They froze visibly." 
 
 " Perhaps they were shy. I don't believe they are 
 in the habit of receiving men to tea in the afternoons. 
 We shall have to wait." 
 
 He did not say for what, and Wingate spoke but 
 little during the drive. 
 
 When they reached the Lodge, and Delmar had 
 driven round to a side entrance, his man met him. 
 
 " Mrs Harcourt and Miss Delmar have arrived, 
 Sir Grenvil," he said, " and Mrs Brabazon, who called 
 about half an hour ago, is with them in the drawing- 
 room. I have let Miss Delmar know that you have 
 come back." 
 
 5
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Mrs Harcourt and Milly Delmar were Sir Grenvil's 
 sisters. They were very evidently amused at surpris- 
 ing him. 
 
 "You did not expect us for another week," they 
 declared in one breath. "Well, we changed our 
 great minds and came on to-day." 
 
 " We found Pat in the same train, starting for the 
 Herbertson's, and so we just made her promise to 
 send her things on, and follow us here for tea," added 
 Miss Delmar, well knowing that this act of hers 
 would have won her pardon for a far greater crime 
 than that of arriving a week before she was due at 
 her brother's house. 
 
 " I am greatly indebted to you all," he said ; and 
 in the uncertain firelight his eyes said so much more, 
 so much of glad surprise too great for mere words, 
 straight into Pat Brabazon's own eyes, that a flush 
 spread over her little delicate face, and she sunk into 
 a seat well in the shadow, with a little movement that 
 bade him sit near her. 
 
 " You did not let me know you were going to the 
 Herbertson's," Delmar reproached her, very low. He 
 leant forward, and for the shortest of moments let 
 his hand rest on her arm that was gloved to the 
 elbow ; but his touch held a caress. 
 
 "I did not know I thought to be far from this 
 part of the world, and and like your sisters, I 
 changed my mind." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 " Need I tell you must I ?" 
 
 " I want you to not here." 
 
 He rose and put her cup down ; and for the benefit 
 of the rest, who were not listening, he said 
 something vague about a new picture and a bad 
 light in which to see it But he held open one 
 
 86
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 of the doors for her, and followed her out of the 
 room. 
 
 When they reached his favourite room, the library, 
 she went quickly, a little nervously, over to the big 
 fireplace and put her hand on the edge of the mantel- 
 piece, as if a little glad of the support. 
 
 "Pat!" 
 
 He was standing by the table, with his hands 
 stretched out to her, but she kept her eyes on the 
 glowing fire. 
 
 " I know I know," she said swiftly. " I was a 
 fool to do it I have no strength of mind, sometimes. 
 I started away in one of my worst moods ; I wired to 
 Dolly Herbertson to expect me, and I regretted it 
 the moment I got into the train. I might have got 
 out at the next station, but your sisters caught me, 
 and I was lost. Forgive me ..." 
 
 He crossed the little space which lay between them 
 swiftly, and stood behind her, with his hands on her 
 shoulders. 
 
 " My dear," he said gravely, " there is no such word 
 between you and me. Look back on your life, as I 
 look back upon mine or the only part of it worth 
 remembering since we met, you and I. Look into 
 your heart, and ask yourself if it is not you who have 
 always been strong, brave, who have resisted, never 
 tempted. Do you think that I, who know every look 
 of your eyes, every tone of your dear voice, do not 
 understand that something more than the ordinary 
 misery has driven you here? Don't you know what 
 it means to me this trust of yours that is so sweet, 
 this knowledge that you are a little happier, easier, 
 when " 
 
 " When you are near," she supplied, as if the truth 
 would force its way to her lips. " It is the truth I 
 
 87
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 cannot hide it from you ; and if it seems to you that 
 sometimes I try, you know it is because I want to do 
 what is best" If she had taken one step backwards, 
 if she had turned to face him, she knew that she 
 would be in his arms. And so she stood still, with 
 her foot on the fender, and her hand resting on the 
 mantelpiece and her eyes on the fire. But she could 
 hear his breath come quickly, and he knew that she 
 trembled beneath the touch of his hands. 
 
 " I know," he made answer, softly. " It is why I will 
 never go though you urge me more than you have 
 urged me already where I cannot get to you at a 
 moment's notice, where you cannot be nearer me, as 
 to-day, at those moments when you dare not trust 
 even yourself. But you have not told me what has 
 happened." He took his hands from her shoulders 
 and went a little distance from her. 
 
 u After all, does it matter ? " she said, turning now 
 to face him. "Nothing you can imagine would be 
 worse than it is. Even the gravity of it all is lost in 
 the repetition of vulgar no, don't ask me now. I was 
 beside myself yesterday, but I am calmer, more 
 reasonable to-day. Take me back to the others. 
 And will you tell them to call round the carriage ? " 
 
 May I take you home ? " 
 
 " Not to-day." 
 
 " But I shall see you to-morrow, Pat" 
 
 " Yes ; come in the morning. Dolly and I are 
 alone till night, when Jack comes back." 
 
 He reached the door, his hand was upon the 
 curtains over it to draw them back. 
 
 "You are in my thoughts day and night, in my 
 heart, always," he said swiftly. "The world, these 
 last few weeks, has been dark and colourless because 
 I could not hope to see you or to hear your voice ; 
 
 88
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 and in that moment, when they told me you were 
 here, I was mad with gladness. Will you part from 
 me once more, so soon, without a word to bring me 
 a little comfort, that I may remember till I see you 
 again?" And into Pat Brabazon's beautiful tender 
 eyes, there came an expression of momentary reck- 
 lessness. 
 
 " Comfort ! " she echoed. " Oh, have I not already 
 brought into your life the worst suffering it has ever 
 held . . . ?" 
 
 "And the greatest joy; always remember that, 
 Pat the greatest joy ! " 
 
 But she made a little movement, half impatient, 
 half deprecatory, and went to him suddenly, and 
 rested both her hands on his breast And Delmar 
 held her close to his heart for a long moment, in a 
 clasp that had in it more of reverence than of passion, 
 and that, while it gave her courage, yet wrung from 
 her a little sob of despair.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 IX 
 
 A WEEK had made a great deal of difference 
 in thi life which Valerie led at Dale. 
 Mrs Harcourt and Miss Delmar had called 
 upon the Misses Drummond ; and the 
 Misses Drummond had actually taken tea at Delmar 
 Lodge. More than that, they had permitted their 
 niece to accompany them, and no one was more 
 surprised than Valerie herself. It had been but the 
 first step, and it had not proved nearly so difficult 
 as she had anticipated and Wingate had feared. 
 After this, the way bid fair to be pretty clear. 
 Delmar's sisters took an instant liking to the girl ; 
 they made themselves extremely pleasant to the old 
 ladies, and they followed up their pretty attentions to 
 them by a general invitation to Valerie to come over 
 to the Lodge as often as she could. This, however, 
 was an invitation over which the Misses Drummond 
 demurred, and though they did not actually refuse it, 
 they intimated politely that their niece would not be 
 likely to prove a very frequent visitor to Delmar. 
 
 But Valerie knew well the value of time, and while 
 she resented her aunts' only half-spoken objections, 
 she was wise enough to make no comment 
 
 Mrs Harcourt had contrived to send several trivial 
 messages during the week by Wingate, and when 
 these had become a little difficult, she had found that 
 there were some books which Valerie would surely 
 like.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 To-day she had sent over a servant and a dog-cart, 
 and a very pretty little note to Miss Hermione, 
 asking that Valerie might spend the day at Delmar, 
 and promising to return her safely at a reasonable 
 hour. 
 
 Valerie saw the trap round the gloomy drive ; she 
 knew intuitively that it had been sent for her, and 
 when her aunts summoned her, she went to them 
 prepared for battle. 
 
 " I have had a note from Mrs Harcourt," announced 
 Miss Hermione, smoothing the sheet of paper, and 
 speaking with exasperating deliberation. " She wants 
 you to go to Delmar to spend the day." 
 
 "That will be charming," interrupted Valerie at 
 once. 
 
 " Your Aunt Angela and I do not see it quite in 
 that light. Mrs Harcourt means it kindly, of course, 
 but we think that, after all, it is rather mistaken 
 kindness." 
 
 " I don't quite understand you," began Valerie, 
 with an unconscious, haughty lifting of her chin a 
 little trick which did more to ruffle Miss Hermione's 
 temper than anything. 
 
 " I should think, Valerie, that you might have seen 
 that we never wished to cultivate the acquaintance 
 of Sir Grenvil or his friends. We knew his mother 
 slightly ; but in those days the house was run 
 on, I fancy, very different lines. Although I know 
 nothing against them, and do not wish to say 
 anything unkind, I must still endeavour to make you 
 understand that I do not consider the society of of 
 that rather flippant set very good or improving for a 
 young person of your position." 
 
 " I don't know whether you are aware of it, Aunt 
 Hermione, but you are addressing me much as
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 though I were the under housemaid, and I may as 
 well tell you at once that I don't like it and won't 
 stand it ... n 
 
 "Valerie!" 
 
 " Either allow me to accept the invitation or not ; 
 but please don't say nasty things about people who 
 have simply tried to give me a little pleasure. When 
 you talk about mistaken kindness, and my position, 
 I don't quite understand you." 
 
 " I mean," returned the old lady, who was rather 
 pale, and whose hands were shaking with real anger, 
 "that in the near future you will have little 
 opportunity of partaking of such so-called enjoyments 
 as those with which the Delmar people might provide 
 you now, and that to cultivate a taste for them can 
 only make life harder for you later on." 
 
 Valerie resented this remark the more, because 
 there was that truth in it which she had been telling 
 herself all through the last week. It came to her to 
 retort with something that would be equally annoying 
 to her aunt 
 
 " That is simply borrowing trouble," she declared. 
 " One never knows what is in store for one, and my 
 fate may be a pleasant one. I might marry, you 
 know, and live in a good deal of luxury for the rest 
 of my life." 
 
 Miss Hermione looked horrified. 
 
 " That is neither a pretty nor a lady-like remark," 
 she said severely. "You may marry, certainly, but 
 I should imagine that it will be at a distant date, and 
 when you do, one who will be in that position of life 
 which will presently be yours. Therefore, luxury 
 will be quite out of the question." 
 
 "And meantime," said Valerie, with her low, 
 musical laugh ringing through the room, "you are 
 
 Q2
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 keeping Sir Grenvil's horse in the cold, while we 
 discuss my marriage prospects ! " 
 
 Miss Angela, who had not spoken yet, looked up 
 from her account books, now. 
 
 " On second thoughts, Hermione, it might be well 
 to accept Mrs Harcourt's invitation for Valerie 
 to-day," she said. " It might seem a little rude to 
 refuse, and it need not happen again." 
 
 "You had better put your hat on then, Valerie, 
 while I send a message out to the coachman." 
 
 Valerie did not pause to make any answer; she 
 went out of the room and up the stairs before they 
 could change their minds and call her back. 
 
 " How they do love to fuss about nothing ! " she 
 thought, " and how insulting and vulgar they can be. 
 I suppose they consider themselves well-bred women ! 
 I am afraid I shall one day tell them what / think." 
 
 And ten minutes later she had forgotten them. 
 
 The drive was a delight every inch of the way ; the 
 raw salt wind blew away the last vestige of her ill 
 temper. Mounted in the high cart, she could see all 
 over the country, instead of being shut up in a 
 rumbling old landau behind a couple of horses that 
 tried to outdo one another in going at a snail's pace. 
 Her cheeks gained colour and her eyes brightened. 
 She was so young, and care was so easily cast aside. 
 This day was hers at least, come what might 
 afterwards. She would be happy now. She would 
 forget everything but the present ; the past and the 
 future should have no place in her heart to-day. 
 
 And while she was being driven behind one of 
 Delmar's swiftest horses, to the quaintly beautiful 
 house which she had seen but once, and longed to see 
 again, her aunts were discussing Mrs Harcourt's 
 invitation. 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " You had some reason, Angel -A, for letting Valerie 
 go?" 
 
 " I don't know that it was exactly a reason. I 
 thought it better to let her go to Delmar than to put 
 up with her in a disagreeable mood for the rest of the 
 week. Upon acquaintance, Valerie does not improve. 
 She is not the sort of girl with whom we could live 
 very long. I never thought she would b c . and now 
 that she had been made such a senseless fuss over by 
 Mrs Harcourt, you can see for yourself that she is 
 growing independent You heard that remark about 
 her possible marriage! She really is possessed of 
 maidenly reserve. There must be no further 
 hesitation, Hermione, we must get her some 
 employment at once. On our recommendation, and 
 if she is not seen first, she may be engaged. After 
 that we wash our hands of her. We shall have done 
 our duty, and we shall have given her the start. She 
 must do the rest herself." 
 
 Miss Hermione agreed with every word her sister 
 had uttered, and she showed that she did so by a 
 series of energetic nods. She went on to discuss 
 Delmar's sisters, with whom she could find no fault 
 save that Mrs Harcourt's manner was too fliopant for 
 a woman married and a woman of her age, and that 
 Miss Delmar dressed in a far too youthful style. In 
 speaking of them, these ladies mimicked their style 
 of speech and the tones of their voices, in *he half 
 sarcastic, half playful way they had of talkiwg over 
 most of their friends. There were times whon they 
 even poked fun at each other in this v r ay, so 
 strong was the habit upon them, behind each oUier's 
 backs. 
 
 And then Miss Hermione sent to the station for 
 certain newspapers which had never yet found the ; * 
 
 94
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 way into Dale, and promised herself an enjoyable 
 afternoon sifting through the advertisements. 
 
 Meantime Valerie was spending her afternoon 
 seated before a huge fire in the lounge -room at 
 Delmar, her little feet on the fender bar, her sunny 
 head pressed back on a pillow that took up half her 
 chair, and her eyes on Mrs Harcourt's merry little 
 face. 
 
 " You look as though you were thoroughly enjoying 
 yourself," that lady declared. 
 
 " And I am. I'm afraid I am never quite so happy 
 as when I am doing nothing." 
 
 "Except walking," put in Wingate, who was not 
 far off. " I was going to suggest taking you to fetch 
 Pat, if she is not here within the next ten minutes." 
 
 But Valerie nestled more closely among her 
 cushions and shook her head at him. 
 
 "Tell me," she said, addressing Mrs Harcourt, "who 
 is ' Pat ' ? I hear you speak of her you do it as if 
 you all loved her you too," nodding at Wingate. 
 
 " I'm inclined to think that we all do," averred Mrs 
 Harcourt, playing with an impossible bit of knitting. 
 "So you have not met her yet? Well, you will 
 presently, and then you'll agree that there is 
 something about Pat that is extremely lovable." 
 
 " Is she Sir Grenvil's wife," Valerie asked idly, and 
 looked round quickly, because an appalled sort of 
 silence fell upon her hearers. 
 
 " Eh ? Good gracious, no ! My dear child ! 
 didn't you know that Gren isn't married ? " 
 
 " Well, I didn't know it I never heard anyone say 
 he was or he wasn't ; and the fact that she was not 
 here last time I came, did not convey much. People 
 aren't always where their wives are are they ? " 
 
 " They are not, indeed ! " agreed Mrs Harcourt 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 who was evidently intensely amused. "Generally 
 they are almost anywhere else." 
 
 " But about this ' Pat ' ; I am interested in her, you 
 see. It must be awfully nice to have everybody so 
 fond of one," wistfully. 
 
 " You say that almost enviously." 
 
 " I feel it like that" 
 
 "Yet it is not possible that you would have us 
 believe that everybody is not fond of you," said 
 Wingate. He had come to that side of the fireplace 
 where her chair stood, and now looked down at her in 
 an endeavour to meet her eyes, which she obstinately 
 and tantalisingly kept turned from him. 
 
 " It is true, all the same." 
 
 "Well, Pat's is a rather sad story," Mrs Harcourt 
 interposed. " Everybody knows it, so I don't see 
 why you should not Some years ago her people, 
 who were intensely poor, and more intensely selfish, 
 literally forced her into a marriage with a man who 
 had nothing else to recommend him but a very 
 excellent fortune. She was sold to him, simply sold, 
 and he really was, I think, the most abominable 
 outsider I ever did meet Kerr thinks I ought not to 
 be telling you these things," she added, lowering her 
 soft voice to quite a whisper, and jerking her head in 
 the direction of the farthest window at the other end 
 of the enormous room, over to which Wingate had 
 walked. " He's quite the dearest thing that ever was 
 born, the most delightfully unspoiled man in all the 
 world ; but he hangs on to one or two old-fashioned 
 notions about women, that cause him the most grisly 
 shocks at times. Poor Pat had a terrible life of it ; 
 she has still, for her precious husband has grown 
 worse instead of better. Only she is so terribly 
 conscientious you know what I mean ; she has her
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 fixed ideas about what is right and what is wrong,, 
 and she'll go straight, will Pat, to the end of the 
 chapter, to the last day of her life. Her husband 
 knows it everybody knows it, though he and lots of 
 others pretend not to." 
 
 " And she is very unhappy, then ? " 
 
 " I won't say that. When one knows how to live 
 at all, if one isn't quite a fool, one is never really 
 unhappy. Use is a good deal, you know, and Pat 
 does not do the silly things for herself that she did 
 years ago. She and he meet as rarely as possible, 
 and when they do, they agree to be fairly amiable 
 to each other. He goes his way, drinks and gambles, 
 and behaves generally like the disreputable sinner 
 that he is, and causes his own people no end of 
 trouble, as he always has from his school days. He 
 has disgraced his name so that his father is ashamed 
 of it, and yet he comes of the best blood in England 
 his mother was a saint, his father a good man and 
 a gentleman to the core. He's one of the Cuthbert 
 Brabazons of " 
 
 " Here is Pat," remarked Wingate from his window, 
 and Mrs Harcourt said " Bravo ! " 
 
 But Valerie's feet had slipped helplessly off" 
 the fender-bar, her head pressed limply on to the 
 cushion behind it, and for a moment every article of 
 furniture in the room seemed to rise up to strike her. 
 Instinctively she put her hand before her face that she 
 knew was livid, while a little murmur of thankfulness 
 went up from her heart with a prayer for strength 
 as Mrs Harcourt rose and crossed the room. Valerie 
 got out of her chair in time to see Wingate coming 
 towards her, and to be introduced to Pat. 
 
 "Sir Grenvil told me you were here, and so I 
 hurried all I knew," declared that little lady, with 
 
 97 a
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 flattering emphasis. "Last time, you disappeared 
 just as I arrived." 
 
 Then, all at once, her soft eyes grew wide, her 
 fingers closed on Valerie's in a grip that was painful, 
 and all the sweet rose-colour died out of her cheeks. 
 But in a moment she had recovered herself with all 
 her natural grace, recovered so swiftly and easily 
 that none but Valerie's miserable eyes had detected 
 her surprise horrified surprise. Pat dropped the 
 cold, limp hand ; a little laugh, devoid, perhaps, of 
 its usual sweetness, escaped her ; and she turned 
 sharply away, blessing the semi-darkness of this 
 corner. 
 
 "Am I to be forgotten," asked Wingate, whose 
 eyes had been resting a little uneasily on Valerie. 
 
 It was plain that she was making a great effort 
 even to answer Pat Her smile was not that bright, 
 sweet one of the eyes as well as of the mouth, that 
 had haunted him so persistently since he had first 
 seen her. 
 
 " Fancy forgetting you ! " Pat said, while she gave 
 him both her hands and let him take her furs. " Did 
 I hear anyone say 'tea'?" insinuatingly, and with 
 new haste, for her. " Miss Drummond," turning to 
 speak deliberately to Valerie again, "do come and 
 tell me things, while Kerr wakes the servants up. 
 And don't look like that," she added in a sharp 
 whisper, pulling the girl close down to her side, 
 while the words she uttered reached only her ear, 
 scarcely breathed as they were. "You are white 
 as paper everyone will notice in a moment ! Pull 
 yourself together ; you need not fear me. I am not 
 a cad too ! " 
 
 Pat spoke abruptly, sharply, but there was no un- 
 "ss in her eyes, not even a trace of anger in the 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 low, beautiful voice ; and Valerie looked back at her 
 in speechless wonder, with a half sad, half hunted look 
 in her eyes, that brought the tears to Pat's own. 
 
 Half an hour passed half an hour of the most 
 exquisite torture for both Valerie and Pat, half an 
 hour in which they both seemed to live over again a 
 painful lifetime. Then, with a little characteristic, 
 determined movement, Mrs Brabazon rose, and 
 brought about their release. She contrived to take 
 Wingate aside. 
 
 " I don't think she is well," she said quietly. 
 
 " She ? Who ? Miss Drummond ? " 
 
 M Yes ; or is it shyness ? " 
 
 " She is not shy." 
 
 " Then, as I say, she is not well. Take her away 
 from the rest for a little while, Kerr." 
 
 Wingate smiled. 
 
 " What makes you select me ..." he began, with 
 curiosity. And Mrs Brabazon narrowed her pretty 
 dark eyes, and put her head a little on one side. 
 
 " Shall we say instinct ? Dear old boy, have you 
 been my best and kindest friend for nine years to 
 leave it impossible for me to read your mind some- 
 times ? Take her away, now." 
 
 Wingate, nothing loth, went back to Valerie's side. 
 It was some few moments before he managed to get 
 her away from the rest, but he did manage it at last. 
 And as he followed her, presently, from the room, 
 Mrs Brabazon detained her a moment at the door. 
 
 "They keep this room a trifle too hot with the 
 pipes," she said easily, " don't you think ? Are you 
 staying about here very long?" 
 
 " No, I think not not long," murmured Valerie, 
 forcing a smile. 
 
 She was glad when Mrs Brabazon's voice ceased, 
 99
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 when the lounge - room was left far behind, when, 
 presently, she felt a breath of air on her forehead, 
 that seemed to bring her out of a stupor. 
 
 "Can I go out in the gardens? Will it matter? 
 Will you take me?" she asked breathlessly; and 
 Wingate caught up a shawl that lay in the hall, and 
 put it round her. Then he threw wide a door at the 
 side of the house, and led her in silence through the 
 bare gardens, over their carpet of moist brown leaves. 
 
 " What is the matter?" he asked her at last " You 
 are ill, or something has happened. What is it ? "
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 ' T T Is nothing," she said faintly, w I I believe 
 I have had a headache all day the wind, 
 
 M you know, coming over was rather keen " 
 
 " And it is blowing on you now." 
 
 " Yes, but I like it now it does me good." 
 
 "But is that all?" he persisted. "You are sure 
 nothing has upset you? It was nothing that 
 Mrs Harcourt was telling you? She is a dear 
 soul, but she does colour her friends' life-stories 
 rather highly at times. She surely did not treat 
 you to any of the miserable details of Pat's unhappy 
 lot." 
 
 "No no. I was interested to hear about her, 
 poor woman. It it is unfortunate, isn't it?" 
 in a wild endeavour to take his attention a 
 little away from herself. "You do you know 
 him?" 
 
 " Who ? Brabazon ? I regret to say I do. Don't 
 let us talk of him. I hate to hear his name on 
 your lips. If you see much of Pat, the chances are 
 you may have to meet him, but I trust the time 
 is far off. The most objectionable cad on the 
 face of the earth a man I cannot understand 
 any decent woman speaking to a second time a 
 man I should like to have an excuse for soundly 
 thrashing." 
 
 He was conscious of having been betrayed into 
 101
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 speaking strongly by his ever-present anger against 
 the husband of Mrs Brabazon, because he was her 
 husband, and of a little harsh laugh which escaped 
 Valerie. 
 
 It was a long time before she could see anything 
 but a sky that seemed to be falling down upon her, 
 trees that were foolishly bowing before her to the 
 ground, a mist that would not clear before her eyes. 
 Wingate's voice sounded miles away, but every word 
 cruelly distinct words she would never be able to 
 forget. For the first time she would have welcomed 
 the sight of Dale; even one or both of her aunts; 
 she would have blessed Upton if he had only 
 appeared at this moment to take her away. It 
 came to her presently that her silence had lasted 
 long so long that Wingate might be wondering 
 at it. 
 
 " It is not likely that I shall see much of anybody 
 here," she forced herself to say. " I shall be going 
 away very soon " (in her heart she was determining 
 that it should be on the morrow if possible), "and 
 it will be to quite another world. Which reminds 
 me," with a little wan smile, "it must be nearly 
 six and the drive home is a long one and I 
 promised that I would not be late." 
 
 "You are in a great hurry to leave us, Miss 
 Drummond." 
 
 There was coldness in his voice that already sent 
 a chill of dread to her heart. She told herself that 
 it would be the coldness of his worst contempt if 
 he knew all. This was the day which she had 
 determined should be such a happy one! She 
 wished with all her soul that her aunts had kept 
 tc their original intention and had desired her to 
 remain at home. And then a little touch of 
 
 102
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 omething like the old recklessness came upon her, 
 of something like the old courage. She lifted her 
 eyes to his in the misty dusk, through which he 
 could hardly see her face ; she put out a little 
 pleading hand and touched his arm. 
 
 " Don't be unkind to me," she entreated. " I am 
 not anxious to leave any of you. You have all 
 been kinder to me than anyone has been, oh ! for 
 months and months. But I had not wanted to 
 confess it I think I am not very well ; and I 
 don't fancy I shall have the strength to battle with 
 their anger to-night, so I had better not incur it. 
 That is what is called prudence, Mr Wingate." 
 
 " I understand," he said, taking one of her cold 
 hands and keeping it in a firm clasp. "They do 
 not like you to come here they do not like 
 anyone from here to go to Dale. You told me 
 once that I was persistent. I hope my persist- 
 ence has not been the cause of annoyance to 
 you." 
 
 She was silent She was thinking that there was 
 only one course clear to her, and that it would be 
 best to steer for it at the outset. 
 
 " It sounds so ungrateful," she almost whispered, 
 because she was conscious that her words were at 
 best that worse thing than a lie half a truth. 
 " Ungrateful to them and to you to them because 
 I owe them much, to you and Sir Grenvil, and 
 Mrs Harcourt, oh ! and all here, because you have 
 meant to be only kind. But but if this is really 
 your wish, you and your friends all will forget 
 that you ever met me. Oh," miserably, "don't you 
 understand, a little ? " 
 
 He thought he did. He said something un- 
 complimentary to the absent Misses Drummond 
 
 103
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 under his breath; and he kept her hand still in 
 his. 
 
 " Are you telling me that you will not come here 
 any more ? " 
 
 " I am certain my aunts will refuse to allow it 
 I am like a child or a prisoner in their house, 
 and " 
 
 "It is monstrous ! And do you mean that even 
 if you do not come here, I you wish that I shall 
 forget that we ever met ? " 
 
 " It might it would be best" 
 
 "Then I decline to entertain such a monstrous 
 idea for a moment Miss Drummond may shut her 
 door in my face, you may not set foot in this place 
 again ; but you are not quite a prisoner yet, and," 
 with a short laugh, " I am very sure we shall meet 
 again, and often. Now let me take you back to 
 the house and tell them to send round you must 
 have a closed carriage to-night" 
 
 She answered him nothing. There seemed so 
 little that she could say with any safety. The day, 
 her whole life was a failure. She had thought she 
 would escape even memory; she had not known 
 that at every turn the way would become more 
 difficult The man who walked silently by her side 
 now was perhaps the one creature whose good 
 opinion she would have had ; and she felt that she 
 dared not look him in the face, lest he should read 
 all too clearly what was in her heart 
 
 He smoothed the way for her departure with ease 
 and much tact ; so that no surprise was felt and no 
 questions were asked when she came down to say 
 good-bye. 
 
 They all declared that she was behaving shabbily 
 in going so soon, but Mrs Harcourt remembered 
 
 104
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEABS 
 
 Eher promise to MfSs Hermione. Wingate, alone, 
 fcvent with her to the door. 
 
 "I am not going to say good-bye/* he declared 
 [Softly. "You go for your favourite walk* on the 
 icliffs every day I am sure you spend half your 
 time 'there; and if I too wander " 
 
 "What you are saying is almost equal to asking 
 fne to meet you," she said gravely, but glad that 
 she could command her voice. 
 
 41 Well, then, I do. We are not utter strangers . . ." 
 
 *'Oh, I know! We met twenty years ago-^and 
 you knew father . . ." 
 
 f Exactly. I am sure thalj you should not prowl 
 over those lonely ways by yourself; so what harm 
 If I ask you to let me prowl too ? " 
 
 *' But how can I prevent you ? " she said, weakly. 
 
 And then Mrs Brabazon appeared suddenly. 
 
 *'I am going right past I}ale, on an errand for 
 Mrs Herbertson," she said, with her expressive eyes 
 fc>n Valerie. .'-;* Won't you let Kerr send back the 
 jparriage, and let me drive you ? I should like your 
 company, Miss Drummond." 
 
 Wingate, who was pleased, that Pat had evidently 
 taken a liking to Valerie, gave the order almost 
 before the girl could answer. And while she 
 gmurmured something polite and pleasant to at, 
 the Herbertson brougham came to the door, a 
 smart little electric aSair, which, a 'moment later, 
 Bvas out of sight 
 
 Mrs Harcourt's uplifted eyebrows asked questions 
 of Wingate as he came back into the hall. 
 
 **J doift think she is well," he explained a little 
 Shortly. "Added to that, her aunts evidently made 
 &' scene about her coming here at all to-day. I 
 tblnk she has been brooding over another that is 
 
 105
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 in store for her on her return, and she is not very 
 happy." 
 
 Mrs Harcourt looked at him hard for a moment; 
 then she made a little grimace. 
 
 "What cats!" she said. 
 
 10*
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XI 
 
 THE brougham in which Pat and Valerie were 
 seated had been gliding swiftly and softly 
 over the ground for several minutes before 
 a word was spoken between the women. 
 It was Mrs Brabazon who broke the miserable silence. 
 
 " I am not going past Dale; that was an invention 
 of mine. But I can send you on there presently. 
 There will be no one at the house where I am staying 
 until to-night : I want to talk to you will you come 
 back with me for a little while?" Valerie assented, 
 with a movement of her head like one in a dream ; 
 and Mrs Brabazon leant out of the window to give an 
 order. 
 
 " You had heard of me ? You knew I should be 
 here, when you came to Delmar to-day?" she 
 inquired, looking curiously at the girl. 
 
 " I I had not I had never heard you spoken of 
 save as ' Pat.' Mrs Harcourt was was speaking 
 of you only a few moments before you came into the 
 room, and she had just explained to me that you were 
 the wife of Cuthbert Brabazon. But you knew me ! 
 I saw by your eyes there was recognition in them 
 that you knew me ! How was that ; oh, how was it 
 possible." 
 
 " Have you not yet learned that this is a very 
 small world indeed ? I have seen you twice in my 
 life ; each time you were pointed out to me in 
 company with my husband. Certainly Delmar 
 
 IGJ
 
 NOR ALITYOUR TEAES 
 
 the very last place at which I ever expected to see 
 you for the third time." 
 
 Valerie's face, that had been momentarily flushed 
 with hot colour, grew so deadly white that Mrs 
 Brabazon thought she was going to faint. She put 
 out a quick, sympathetic hand, but the girl cowered 
 away into her corner, and let her face sink down into 
 the fur of her muff. "Had you not thought, feared," 
 went on Pat, "that you might meet me, or even him, 
 there? Or was it that you did not care? Don't tell 
 me it was that I can't believe it! If I had never 
 'seen you before, if I had not recognised you, I should 
 have looked into your face and told myself that beside 
 your beauty you possessed truth and ..." 
 
 " Do not I " broke in Valerie, in a little wail of 
 misery. "You don't understand, you can't Even' 
 when I have told you, you may refuse to believe me.' 
 But for God's sake don't speak gently to me. Be 
 harsh, be cruel turn upon me and say to me what I 
 deserve to hear, and you know I dare not resent So, 
 'my heart will harden, and so, I can bear it best! 
 but ..." 
 
 " Hush hush ! Listen, we have nearly arrived., 
 Don't say another word till we are in the house." 
 
 Valerie obeyed. In a moment she was following 
 Mrs Brabazon through the warm hall, and up a wide 
 flight of stairs. Presently they entered one of a cosy 
 suite of rooms; and Pat, when she had drawn forward 
 a chair for Valerie, turned to the maid who came to 
 take her furs. 
 
 "No, not the lights yet, Ellis. Just stir the fire, 
 and we don't want tea, I'll ring if I want you, don't 
 let me be disturbed." 
 
 She waited till the maid had gone, and then 
 jested a gentle hand on Valerie's shoulder. 
 
 108
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Don't tell me it was that you did not care," she 
 said again, as though half fearing the answer. 
 "No, it was not I " 
 
 "I'm glad of that, I felt sure of it My dear, you 
 bade me not speak gently, you said you wanted to 
 harden your heart ; but I am not your judge, and 
 knowing what I know of the man whose victim you 
 have been made, I know that already your heart must 
 be hardened enough. Come, tell me what you said 
 just now you feared I might refuse to believe I shall 
 not ; I shall know you are speaking truth." 
 
 Valerie looked up into the lovely little pitiful face, 
 incredulously. 
 
 " You make it a great deal more easy for me," she 
 said gratefully. "To be believed is everything. First, 
 then, will you believe that until that last hour in 
 which your Mr Brabazon and I met for the last 
 time, and parted for always, I had never heard of 
 your existence; I had no suspicion, no slightest 
 reason for the suspicion that there that he had a 
 wife. Oh, will you believe that?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "You mean it? After all you must have heard of 
 me after ? " 
 
 " I have scarcely heard anything of you," declared 
 Pat; "I have never heard your name till I heard it at 
 Delmar. You were not an object of interest to me ; 
 I was not even curious about you. You were pointed 
 out to me at a time when there were those anxious 
 that I should take divorce proceedings against my 
 husband. The information that was forced upon me 
 then, is all I ever had, and if I heard your name I 
 forgot it the next moment. You do not belong to 
 the class of women with whom his name is usually 
 associated you are so young, and it is a year or more 
 
 109
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 ago since I first saw you. Tell me what is it that 
 brings you here ; how came you at Delmar?" 
 
 " You heard perhaps that I am living now with my 
 aunts at Dale?" 
 
 " Yes, and that your father, who died recently, was 
 John Drummond the artist." 
 
 " My aunts are his sisters," returned Valerie, in a 
 voice that was quite passionless. "When father 
 died I was left alone and penniless. Of my my 
 fren acquaintance with Mr Brabazon he was ever 
 in ignorance. Now, I can thank God that he did not 
 live to know the truth. At his death, and not till 
 then, I oh, I was alone, there was no one else in the 
 world, no one to whom to whom I thought I had a 
 right to go but but him. I had believed in and 
 trusted him, fool that I was ! There must have been 
 a time when I cared. I went to him, I tell you 
 and then it was that I heard of you. My whole 
 thought then was to escape from the world that had 
 been mine and his; my one desire to hide myself 
 away where I might never meet any I had known or 
 who had known me. And then my aunts offered me 
 their home till such time as I could find employment, 
 and I jumped at the offer because their world had 
 ever been as far apart from my father's as the Poles. 
 Through an accident I met Mr Wingate; through 
 him I met Sir Grenvil Delmar, who has been so kind 
 to me. I heard of you only as Pat how should I 
 have dreamed that you were his wife ? I thought I 
 had left all the past behind, I had taken the path 
 which was to lead to a new life entirely, and and 
 now you see what has happened." 
 
 " My dear child, we never leave the past entirely 
 behind, do what we will. There is something out 
 of it that will always crop up for our discomfiture. 
 
 no
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 It is difficult to tell you what I feel about you, but 
 you may believe that it is all pity that is in my heart. 
 There are no others who could understand so well 
 as I, and that comprehension makes me see with 
 different eyes to those with which the world would 
 see the world that is always so ready to condemn. 
 You see," and Pat's low voice was half grim, half 
 disgusted, wholly quaint, "no one else has had the 
 misfortune to be his wife. I wish," suddenly, "you 
 were not so young, I wish you were someone quite 
 different the sort of woman one might shrug one's 
 shoulders about and forget in half an hour. But 
 you're not. The thought of you will haunt me. 
 You tell me that all the future holds for you is the 
 promise of the drudgery of a governess' or com- 
 panion's life. And I know that it will never work. 
 No one will want you ; women with any sense, and 
 sons, run away from such beauty as you possess as 
 from the plague. And I'm thinking, with no one to 
 hold out a helping hand to you, you may get reckless 
 in the long run, you may look back upon the early 
 ruin of your life and tell yourself that the rest does 
 not matter much." 
 
 " And you can trouble to think even so much for 
 me?" asked Valerie, forgetting her misery in her 
 utter surprise. 
 
 Pat gave a quaint little shrug of the shoulders. 
 
 " Why not ? " she said. " God forbid that I should 
 sit in judgment on you or any; and you never 
 harmed me." 
 
 " Oh, not knowingly, not " 
 
 " Not knowingly, or unknowingly." 
 
 " I do not deserve pity, and for me there is no 
 excuse," said Valerie, getting up from her chair and 
 walking to and fro. "The more I look back upon 
 
 in
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 the past, the more I see that the blame lies all at 
 my door. All my life was one of freedom ; I was 
 a woman of the world almost before other girls are 
 out of the nursery. I learned much ; but one thing 
 I never learned and that was doubt, mistrust No 
 one in all my life had ever cheated me ; I had never 
 need to lie, and so the truth came easily. As I have 
 told you, I kept my acquaintance with Mr Brabazon 
 a secret by his express wish from my father, but 
 I did not lie to him about it" Then she came nearer 
 to Mrs Brabazon. 
 
 " You have been very good to me," she said softly. 
 "I cannot be sorry that I have met you. But there is 
 still one kindness that you can show me if you will" 
 " And that ? " 
 
 " Is to forget me this day utterly. I was going 
 to leave here soon, now it shall be at once. Will you 
 wipe out from your memory these last two hours ? " 
 
 "You mean that you want me never to say 
 anything of what I know to anyone? You need 
 hardly fear." 
 
 a You mistake me," returned Valerie flushing. " I 
 meant that that I want to be quite forgotten by 
 you and all all your friends. And now, as you 
 promised to send me home, I will say good-bye. 
 Though I have asked you to forget me, I think I shall 
 never quite forget you." 
 
 She did not hold out her hand, and when Fat had 
 rung the bell and given an order about the carriage, 
 she moved to the door. 
 
 Pat ran after her. "You're not going to do 
 anything foolish I " she said. " You'll you'll oh 
 you won't go coasting down-hill just because you 
 think all the world is against you ? It isn't There 
 is scarcely anything you can't live down it is 
 
 ill
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 not impossible to retrieve a false step always. After 
 we met at Delmar, when I recognised you and you 
 saw that I did, I thought it best that we should have 
 this talk ; but if it has seemed to make things harder 
 for you than ever I shall never forgive myself." 
 
 " No," returned Valerie, and the heavy tears were 
 in her eyes now. "If that were possible, I think the 
 way may seem a little easier." And then, impulsively, 
 she stretched out her hand, and Mrs Brabazon held 
 it closely for a long minute.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XII 
 
 VALERIE DRUMMOND had scarcely left 
 the house when Grenvil Delmar turned in 
 at the lodge gates. He looked after the 
 disappearing brougham with some curiosity, 
 but he did not pause on his way. Five minutes later 
 he heard the soft rustle of Pat's skirts as she came 
 down the stairs and then to him in the small 
 drawing-room. 
 
 Her eyebrows were uplifted, and her smile was 
 soft ; but there was a touch of absence in the way 
 she gave him her hands that set him wondering. 
 
 " Why did you leave Delmar so early ? " he asked 
 her. " You knew that I could not get back before ; 
 and when I'd raced home like mad, it was to find 
 you had already left, with Miss Drummond. Was it 
 she who drove by me just now, out of these gates ? " 
 
 "Poor boy!" said Pat, stirring her fingers gently 
 in his, but still keeping the little frown on her fore- 
 head. "Yes, it was Miss Drummond. I'm sorry I 
 could not wait ; but I knew . . ." 
 
 " Look here, Pat," said Delmar anxiously, " there's 
 something on your mind, something you're worried 
 about I don't believe," giving her the gentlest of 
 little shakes, " that you know I am here at all." 
 
 At this she laughed, and, for half a second, leant 
 her soft cheek against his arm. Then she took to 
 pacing up and down the room several times, and 
 finally threw herself into a big chair. 
 
 114
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " There is. I am worried," she declared, looking 
 up at Delmar. " I may as well own it to you, 
 because you would be sure to find me out anyway. 
 Oh, Gren," getting up suddenly, and resting both her 
 little hands on his arm, " I meant that no one should 
 ever hear. Even from you I was wondering if I 
 should keep it a secret ; and just as I was thinking 
 so, they came up to tell me you were here." 
 
 " You admit that something is troubling you, and 
 that still you would leave me in ignorance?" he 
 answered, with surprise and no little reproach. 
 
 "Oh, that was just the thought for the moment. 
 I don't suppose it would have held good for long. 
 Gren," looking round to see that the doors were 
 securely closed; "it is about Miss Drummond." 
 
 " Miss Drummond ? Why, what on earth has 
 happened to concern you about her ? Pat, what do 
 you mean? Explain." 
 
 " It is not easy. It is oh, whom do you think 
 she really is? You'd never believe it never think 
 it possible! And I oh, I hate to think of it I 
 hate to break through my rule of never speaking 
 his name to you." 
 
 Delmar paled a little beneath his healthy bronze. 
 He knew she was going to speak of her husband, 
 and he made no attempt to interrupt her. 
 
 "You remember that time, a little more than a 
 year ago, when the people from Mr Chester came 
 to me, and and " 
 
 "You mean when you might have had your 
 freedom without an instant's trouble ; when all the 
 world, even your own mother, who, God forgive 
 her, brought all the misery into your life, blamed 
 you that you would not take it," returned Delmar 
 hotly. 
 
 "S
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "Yes; then. Well, you remember that a certain 
 woman was pointed out to me. I heeded very little, 
 and I don't think I ever heard her name. That 
 woman I recognised to-day in in Miss Drummond." 
 
 "Good God!" 
 
 The two words dropped slowly, in absolute horror, 
 from Delmar's lips ; and he was silent for a full 
 minute afterwards, incapable of uttering another 
 sound. 
 
 "You're not mistaken you're sure you are not 
 wrong?" he said at last 
 
 " No, I'm not mistaken. I wish with all my heart 
 and soul that I might be. But I recognised her 
 instantly she saw that I did ; and I brought her 
 here with me from Delmar just now ; and oh ! 
 Gren, it is all true. It is over everything is ended 
 between them now. It is not hard to understand 
 that he deserted her, cast her aside, when at her 
 father's death she turned to him as to the only soul 
 on earth to whom she could turn." 
 
 "No, it is not But it is harder to understand 
 that you can speak of her as though she had your 
 pity." 
 
 "And so she has. Only think for a moment 
 only remember her as she has seemed to you 
 through the little time that you have known her, 
 and you will pity her too." 
 
 "I don't know," said Delmar, with less justice 
 than he generally displayed. " I must admit that 
 she is a most charmingly beautiful woman, but she 
 does not impress me as one who was ever among 
 the sweet simple innocents ; and I confess that I 
 cannot help thinking she has entered her aunts' and 
 my house under false pretences." 
 
 The moment the words had escaped him he felt 
 116
 
 Ts T OK ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 a certain shame at them, and with Pat's sweet eyes 
 upon him that shame increased. 
 
 " Don't mistake me," he added quickly, " I don't 
 mean to be hard on the girl, on any woman ; but 
 in the circumstances . . ." 
 
 "In the circumstances you can hardly be a fair 
 judge," interrupted Pat, "and I can hardly expect 
 it The mere knowledge that this poor child is 
 one of his victims prejudices you against her. I 
 don't suppose that there is a man living, worth the 
 name, who could help a feeling of contempt coming 
 uppermost for the woman who could be deceived 
 and cheated by such a man as Cuthbert Brabazon. 
 But I am a woman, and, worse still, I am his wife ; 
 and though there never was a moment in my life 
 when I could even tolerate him, though what might 
 only have been indifference was turned to loathing 
 when I was driven into marriage with him, I was 
 forced for a short time to spend all my life with 
 him, and I realised then that there might be women 
 in the world nay, that there were many of them for 
 whom he held some attraction that was inexplicable 
 to me. Why are you hard on her, whom he 
 cheated and ruined ? Don't you think that the 
 greater contempt is due to the woman who could 
 have become his wife?" 
 
 "Pat!" 
 
 Delmar had seized her hands, and had drawn 
 her nearer to him with a half protecting, half angry 
 movement 
 
 "Ah," she said softly, "you love me, and your heart 
 is filled with hatred for those who have wronged 
 me. You love me, and you would wash your 
 memory clear of all those who have shared even a 
 portion of my past You love me, and you cannot 
 
 "7
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 be even just to one who has caused me a moment's 
 pain. I can understand it it is so sweet, all the 
 comfort I have in life to know it but I would have 
 your lenience this once, because I want your help." 
 
 " My help ! When you know that all my life is at 
 your service," 
 
 She wound her fingers closely round his. Perhaps 
 she knew that with their soft touch she might lead 
 him whither she would. 
 
 "Look you," she said, "that girl's life may be 
 made or marred from this hour. Promise me you 
 won't help to mar it" 
 
 "Good heavens! Why should I seek to injure 
 her? It is nothing to me if I never set eyes upon 
 her again." 
 
 " No, but it will be something to you if Kerr 
 marries her. Ah, you see what I am thinking! 
 The blindest person in all the world could see at 
 once that he is in love with her; and with Kerr, to 
 love once is to love always." 
 
 "By Jove! I'd forgotten that! I know that he 
 is very much attracted. I believe, with you, that 
 he cares. Pat, you can't mean that you want him 
 left in ignorance." 
 
 " I do. Would you have anyone come to you 
 and whisper so much as a word against me ? " 
 
 " Don't," he pleaded hoarsely. " How dare you 
 bracket yourself with ..." 
 
 "Dear, you set me on a pedestal. But in the 
 world's eyes I am just a woman who made a 
 marriage of convenience with her eyes open, who 
 goes her way while her husband goes his, and who 
 is in love with another man. There are plenty who 
 open their doors to me and kiss me on both cheeks, 
 because they dare not do anything else ; but in 
 
 nS
 
 NOB, ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 their secret hearts I don't expect they rate mi- 
 very highly. More than that, they would nev*.i 
 understand, or want to believe that there never 
 has been, and never will be, a touch of wrong and 
 shame in the love we bear to each other. I, in a 
 measure, am protected, even in the bearing of the 
 disgraced name which is mine, but that girl is utterly 
 alone. I would stake my life that her heart is true 
 and her instincts are pure. If her chances are taken 
 from her at the outset, who shall say whither she 
 may drift ? " 
 
 "She may count herself in luck, at all events," 
 Delmar said, with a half jealous ring in his nice 
 voice, "to have gained such a champion, such a 
 special pleader as yourself." 
 
 But Pat made a little, half impatient gesture. 
 
 " I might never have heard of her ; but as things 
 have turned out," she returned, "it is a case that 
 seems to go right home to my heart. If she had 
 been any other woman I should not have cared, but 
 as it is, I can't forget her, or cease to pity her. Oh, 
 and more than that, I cannot help envying her." 
 
 "Envy her! You?" 
 
 "Yes; is she not at least free? Has he not divided 
 his life from hers for all time ? And I, till that hour 
 when he dies or I die, am bound to him by ties that 
 nothing can break." 
 
 " Because you will not let them be broken," he 
 answered swiftly. " Pat ! it rests with you all with 
 you. My dear, what is the world to us? What 
 is its opinion ? Need we care how it talks and how 
 it wonders? Will you live out this life of yours 
 that at best is but half life, and doom me to tiie 
 miserable existence that is mine now, for ever ? Pat, 
 think ! " 
 
 IIQ
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "And have I not thought, have I not gone over 
 it all till madness has seemed to stare me in the face ! 
 It is not my duty as a wife that holds me back he 
 has no claim on that. It is not my honour as a 
 woman I know you are dearer far to me than even 
 that. It is little for a woman to give her life up to 
 love, but it is much to a man most often, ruin. Do 
 you think I don't understand the sweetness, the 
 truth, the loyalty of your nature ? Do you think I 
 don't know that the greater the world's scorn for 
 me, the more binding you would hold my claim 
 upon you ? For you I would bear worse than death, 
 but not even for you will I bring grief upon your 
 mother, will I force your sisters to turn aside from 
 you, and their children to be taught that they may 
 not speak your name." 
 
 The hot tears forced their way beneath her eyelids, 
 and ran slowly down her cheeks. But Delmar was 
 silent Long ago he had used and exhausted every 
 argument ; long ago he had pleaded and put forth 
 every prayer. Now he only bent over the little 
 trembling hands, and drew them close to his lips. 
 
 " We have somehow got round to personal interests," 
 he said, and his voice gave indication of great self- 
 repression. "You were speaking of Kerr, and the 
 possibility of his " 
 
 "The certainty of his love for for Valerie 
 Drummond." 
 
 "And do you think he will thank us in the long 
 run ? Do you think he will be grateful if we let him 
 link his life to one that he now holds pure and blame- 
 less, knowing what we know ? God forbid that I 
 should interfere between him and the woman he 
 cares for, or that I should deem myself fit to sit in 
 judgment upon her; but if he should discover the
 
 NOB ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 truth, when he discovers it, as he surely will when 
 it is too late, what do you think he will have to say 
 to us?" 
 
 "If he loves her, will anything matter? If you 
 knew me to be the vilest criminal on earth, to-morrow, 
 would it make you turn from me ? " 
 
 " No ; but you know him as well as I I have 
 a fancy that that this is the sort of thing he would 
 never forgive, even in love. He is not a man to love 
 lightly, or more than once. The affection he gives 
 to a woman will only be given to the woman he will 
 worship as his wife and the mother of his children. 
 And it will be an affection that has never been 
 wasted, that in all its rich treasure of perfect faith 
 and purity has waited to be lavished on one worthy 
 of it I could wish that this secret of the girl's life 
 had never been made known to us, dear, or that " 
 
 " Oh, and I wish it too. But since it is known to 
 us, can we not help her rather than cast her down." 
 
 " May you not be distressing yourself needlessly ? " 
 Delmar interposed. u May it not be that she will 
 refuse to accept his love, at least without telling him 
 the truth? I almost believe that if a woman for 
 whom Kerr cared had the courage to be truthful, 
 he would forgive her." 
 
 " I had not quite thought of that," admitted Pat, 
 but still a little restlessly. " I think she is the sort 
 of girl who would be above that sort of deception. 
 And yet, when one cares and with one's own hand 
 one may stretch out and gather joy or sign one's 
 own death warrant it is hard to say what hold 
 temptation might have. She begged me to forget 
 her utterly, and this day, and said that she wished 
 all my friends to forget her. Perhaps she may have 
 been thinking of Kerr. And she said, too, that she 
 
 lai
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 would go away from here at once. Poor child, she 
 had come here thinking to escape all the past, 
 everyone from her old world or his ! It seems a 
 cruel fate that threw her first of all across the path 
 of possible happiness, and then brought her face to 
 face with me." 
 
 "Is not life one long cruelty?" Delmar asked, 
 with intense bitterness. 
 
 He threw his arms wide for a moment, and then 
 let his hands come down lightly, fondly, on her 
 shoulders. 
 
 " Shall we, with regard to this regrettable affair, 
 make up our minds to say ' sufficient unto the day, 
 etc.'? For one, I shall say nothing to Kerr till he 
 seems to me to be in danger of taking a step he 
 may regret; and then I shall not speak without 
 first consulting you. And now," with a long sigh, 
 " I must go. Say good-bye to me, Pat" 
 
 " Good-bye," she returned softly, and for one short 
 moment framed his face with both her hands. But 
 she did not go nearer to him or lift her face to 
 his. She was, after all, but a woman, and, more 
 than that, a woman who loved him ; and all her 
 soul cried out for the tenderness that answered hers, 
 all her heart hungered for the warmth of his kisses, 
 for the fond words that were clamouring for 
 utterance on his lips. But she never tempted 
 him ; it was always she who was strong, she who 
 could guide him with a word or a glance. And 
 presently she stood in the softly-lighted hall, 
 watching him down the drive, and keeping back 
 the tears that would have filled a small, attentive 
 page with wonder and perhaps amusement
 
 N0i ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 XIII 
 
 VALERIE spent the rest of the evening in 
 secret misery, a<d more than half the 
 night awake. Peace of mind was gone; 
 sleep was banished. The knowledge 
 brought to her by her visit to Delmar, by her 
 interview with Pat Brabazon, had gone home to 
 her heart and mind with a force that, for a long 
 time, robbed her of the power to decide how much 
 it might really mean to her. 
 
 She had reached home in fairly good time; and 
 she sat through the semi-silent dinner to which 
 she generally looked forward, principally because it 
 killed one of the long evening hours conscious of 
 being very quiet, indeed absent ; conscious of her 
 aunts' half-inquiring, half-wondering glances, and 
 also of a desire to escape to her own rooms. She 
 wanted to be alone and to think ; but she had to 
 answer questions about her visit, and to watch 
 Upton crawling round the table and squeezing two 
 lemons into two glasses of water ; and to sip water 
 herself, without lemon, from her own glass, because 
 her mouth was parched and dry, while she tried 
 not to make a wry face, or to let her mind wander 
 irresistibly to that part of her toilette when she 
 cleaned her teeth. 
 
 Afterwards she had to wind some wool in the 
 drawing-room, and to make up some accounts 
 
 123
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 quite inaccurately and to sip tea. Then she 
 heard about some village person's rheumatism, and 
 someone else's twins, and a great deal about the 
 wife of the doctor, who was getting up a religious 
 concert in aid of some society, the name of which 
 Valerie did not hear, because her thoughts were 
 far away. And finally she followed her aunts into 
 the cold morning-room, where Miss Hermione read 
 prayers to the servants, who were only a little less 
 interested than Valerie herself. 
 
 After that she took up her flat candlestick, with 
 impatience that sputtered the grease, and brought 
 forth a mild reprimand from Miss Angela, who, 
 for ten minutes after prayers, always kept her smile 
 soft and serene, and her voice hushed. 
 
 And upon the stroke of half-past ten, freedom ! 
 her own rooms and all the hours till another 
 morning broke, to lie wide awake, to battle with 
 memory and fresh misery. 
 
 Again Valerie could see Mrs Harcourt's merry 
 eyes grow angry or sad as she gave the history of 
 Pat Brabazon's life. Again she could see Wingate 
 walking over to the distant window. Again she 
 could feel the awful sensation of faintness that had 
 almost overcome her. And again her eyes seemed 
 to meet those of Brabazon's wife, her hands to feel 
 the little friendly, pitiful touch of Pat's soft fingers, 
 her ears to listen to the sweet voice, the words that 
 Valerie could scarcely yet believe had been uttered 
 by Brabazon's wife. The mere memory was horrible ; 
 it brought the hot colour to her cheeks, here in the 
 darkness. But there was another memory which 
 was simple torture ; it was that of her escape from 
 the room with Wingate, and her short conversation 
 with him in the dim gardens. That brought no 
 
 124
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 colour to her face it sent a chill of cold straight 
 to her heart, it seemed to tell her that all her life 
 from this day must be one long, lasting regret. 
 Every word he had spoken haunted her, most of all 
 tnese : "Do not let us talk of Brabazon. I hate 
 even to hear his name on your lips, ... an objection- 
 able cad, to whom I cannot understand any decent 
 woman speaking a second time." She turned her 
 face upon her pillows and writhed again in an agony 
 of misery and shame, and bitter, futile regret And 
 yet, even out of hateful, disturbing thoughts, there 
 came back to her the pleasant memory of the kindly 
 tones of his nice voice, the keen yet gentle glance of 
 his eyes, the irresistible attraction which lay in his 
 whole manner, that somehow gave one confidence, 
 that brought with it an odd, indefinable sense of 
 safety. 
 
 In the long watches of the night one can always 
 see troubles through the deepest of deep blue glasses; 
 Valerie saw breakers ahead that threatened to sweep 
 her off her feet. She must get away from Dale 
 somehow ; she must bestir herself about getting 
 employment To have met Brabazon's wife was 
 bad enough ; to run the risk of meeting him was not 
 to be thought of for a moment. There was no safety 
 for her here. All that was left to her was to get 
 away from Dale with all possible speed. 
 
 Her aunts had promised her their assistance, and 
 she would keep them up to their promise. She had 
 some idea that what they called "lady-like" employ- 
 ment would be something very disagreeable ; but in 
 her present state of mind she did not care much, so 
 that they found it for her where she would be most 
 unlikely to set eyes upon anyone belonging to the 
 old happy days. Yes, they were happy; she could 
 
 125
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 not deny that. Though she might have to pay 
 dearly for some of them, she had known much more 
 joy than sorrow in them. She watched the flickering 
 shadows cast by the night-light on the ceiling till 
 her eyes grew heavy ; she made all sorts of plans, 
 only to unmake them the next moment ; and, finally, 
 she dropped into a dull, unrefreshing sleep that was 
 filled with restless dreams, her last clear thought 
 being that, first, she must avoid the cliff path, and 
 next that she would take the first step towards 
 leaving Dale on the morrow. 
 
 The thought that had taken possession of Valerie 
 as she fell into her restless sleep took possession of 
 her afresh as she awoke in the morning. 
 
 She gave utterance to it when she was seated at 
 the breakfast table ; when Miss Angela was looking 
 sharper and more severe than usual, when Miss 
 Hermione cast her eyes, with their customary dis- 
 approving glance, over her niece's figure, from the 
 points of her little shoes to the crown of lovely, 
 offending hair. 
 
 " Aunt Angela," Valerie said, taking her cup from 
 the lady's thin hands, "do you know that my visit 
 is becoming quite a stay ? " 
 
 "Yes. Don't say 'stay.' It is as incorrect as 
 vulgar." 
 
 Valerie smiled. 
 
 "How particular you are!" she said. "Well, I 
 was thinking that I should now begin the search 
 for employment, you remember? in which you 
 promised me your help." 
 
 There was a short silence. Miss Angela looked 
 over the teapot at her sister, and to the cheeks of 
 both ladies there rose the very faintest flush, almost 
 imperceptible. They were momentarily uncom- 
 
 126
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 fortable. It was as though this girl had read their 
 very thoughts. 
 
 Miss Hermione's lips took that little straight line 
 which put upon them the veiled, half smile of sarcasm 
 that had done more to enrage Valerie than all her 
 aunts' aggravating little ways. 
 
 "You have decided to try for something, then?" 
 she said, while Angela crunched toast in a noisy 
 accompaniment to her sister's words. "We thought 
 that you had perhaps given up the idea; or that you 
 were going to sit down quietly till employers searched 
 for you." And she smiled, in a way that might have 
 led anyone who knew her very little to believe that 
 she spoke playfully; though no one could have passed 
 over the gentle sting in her speech. 
 
 "Did you?" returned Valerie, with rising temper. 
 
 In an ordinary way she would have paid as little 
 heed to this remark as she had paid to many another 
 like it; but the anxiety and the weariness of the 
 previous night had told upon her, the misery that was 
 tugging at her heart made her fear that she could 
 bear little more in silence. 
 
 "You were quite mistaken, then, Aunt Hermione ; 
 and if you were anxious about it, it is a pity you did 
 not say so before." 
 
 "I merely thought that you might have shown a 
 little more interest in your future. To a guest, it 
 would have been discourteous to have said so . . ." 
 
 "There are worse things than discourtesy," the 
 youngest Miss Drummond interrupted with what her 
 hearers thought rude haste, and with the sweet colour 
 coming angrily into her white cheeks. "What you 
 say now is tantamount to telling me that you think I 
 have been meaning to live here, on your charity, as 
 long as you would let me, and with that end in view, 
 
 "I
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 to make no effort to do anything for myself. That is 
 not only discourteous, but untrue." 
 
 "You forget yourself, Valerie!" breathed Miss 
 Angela, shocked, and glancing a little nervously from 
 her equally shocked sister to the quivering lips and 
 fiery eyes of their niece. 
 
 " No, I do not. It is you who forget you forget 
 that you offered me your home, and that, having 
 accepted your offer, however anxious I might be to 
 get away from it, I should have at least sufficient good 
 manners to hide from you that fact, in the very first 
 days of my life beneath your roof." 
 
 The old ladies had turned pale ; the hollows in 
 Miss Hermione's temples deepened, the sharp outline 
 from ear to chin set squarely, and her mouth grew 
 very hard. 
 
 " You mean to infer that you are anxious to leave 
 us?" 
 
 "I mean to have it understood that I will stand 
 insult from none, not even you, to whom I owe my 
 home and my bread. And when you practically 
 accuse me of the intention of living upon you, you 
 insult me! I do wish to leave here I wish to be 
 independent of you or anyone, and to work for 
 myself; but I scarcely thought it would accord 
 with your ideas of politeness to tell you so before 
 my visit was a fortnight old, before my father had 
 been dead much more than a month." 
 
 " You are exceedingly vulgar, Valerie." 
 
 "Am I ? Well, I would rather be that than petty. 
 I don't wish to be rude to either you or Aunt Angela; 
 but I will say this I have borne more veiled im- 
 pertinences since I have been here than I have ever 
 borne in the whole of my life. I I could have 
 done anything you wished, I could have tried to be 
 
 1 28
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 what you wished, and to have loved you," she went on 
 passionately, with a little impatient movement that 
 nearly overset her cup, "but you would not let me. You 
 spoil every act of kindness by making it felt that it is 
 one to a dependent ; you give, and every hour you 
 remind the recipient of your gift that you have given, 
 you would only do this to one who dare not resent 
 it!" 
 
 " And this is your gratitude . . ." 
 
 " I am grateful ! I tell you I could have blessed 
 and cared for you all my life. You do not understand 
 or know it, but I came to you at a moment when 
 ever so little love, ever so little sympathy, when the 
 knowledge of even a little comprehension of how 
 empty my heart and my life were, would have won 
 you my love and my gratitude, and would have given 
 you a claim on my truest affections. You might have 
 changed me in so many ways you have no idea of 
 what you might have done for me then, if you had 
 been kind to me in another way. As it is, I can never 
 think of you affectionately, because you have not lost 
 an opportunity of wounding me either by reference to 
 my own position, or to the life I led with my father. 
 I knew that one day I should turn upon you," with 
 an odd little defiant smile that nearly took the breath 
 of both ladies away. " I have said, now, what is in 
 my heart, and I feel better for it, but I shall be grate- 
 ful if you will show me the way to those employers 
 for whom you think I have been sitting down and 
 waiting ! " 
 
 And Valerie pushed her chair back with a scraping 
 of the oak floor that gave evidence of a good deal of 
 temper, and went out of the room, leaving her aunts 
 jumping in their seats as she banged the door. 
 
 They were first of all cowards ; there was that in
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 both their natures which goes far towards the making 
 of the bully ; and they had never been attacked either 
 with so much violence or so much truth. And the 
 result was that they were left speechless, and secretly 
 a little afraid. 
 
 As for Valerie, though she declared that she felt 
 better for having said what was in her mind, she was 
 very close to tears, shaking in every limb, and stifled 
 within the walls of the house. She craved for the 
 sight of the open sea, for a long brisk walk along her 
 favourite cliff path. She wanted freedom, and not the 
 close confinement of the house ; and yet she did not 
 follow the impulse which prompted her to leave it. 
 She dreaded to go out now, in the daylight, lest she 
 should meet anyone from Delmar Lodge. She almost 
 made up her mind to go back to London, and to 
 Marshall and his wife, at once. But she put that idea 
 from her quickly it was too tempting to be en- 
 couraged, just yet, at all events. 
 
 " I must be patient just a little longer," she said to 
 herself, parading up and down her room. " I don't 
 suppose I should be likely to get anything suitable, 
 anything that would take and keep me away from 
 everybody I have ever known, without their help. 
 After all," thinking of Brabazon, while a hot wave of 
 colour spread over her face, " he may not come near 
 this part of the world." She remembered how he had 
 spoken of his wife's amiability in keeping out of his 
 way, and she fervently hoped that Pat was doing so 
 at this moment And through all her restlessness, 
 through every thought that came and went in her 
 mind, there rung again the words that Wingate had 
 spoken to her but yesterday: "A man to whom I 
 cannot understand any decent woman speaking a 
 second time I" 
 
 130
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "If he knew! If he knew!" she said over and 
 over again. " He would despise me, I should not 
 have to keep out of his way, he would never wish 
 to speak to me again," Valerie thought, with the 
 hot flush dying out of her face, and the old feeling 
 of shame that she had battled with, more fully upon 
 her now than ever before. And though she asked 
 herself, with some impatience, what matter if he, 
 who was but a stranger to her, thought ill or well 
 of her, she could not find an indifferent answer to 
 give, even to her own heart, an answer wherewith 
 to cheat herself into the belief that she cared 
 nothing. 
 
 Unconsciously she was already anxious to stand 
 well in his eyes ; already she knew in her heart 
 that she would sooner anyone discovered the secret 
 of her past than this man, whom she had seen but 
 a few times, of whom she knew scarcely anything. 
 
 The day passed drearily ; the snow fell in heavy 
 flakes, and afforded Valerie a good excuse for 
 remaining within doors. 
 
 Somewhat to her surprise, when she and her aunts 
 met again, the slight breeze of the breakfast-table 
 seemed to be forgotten at all events it was ignored. 
 And as the ladies were inclined to make themselves 
 agreeable to her, Valerie readily and gladly fell 
 in with their mood. 
 
 That night Miss Hermione passed over the 
 advertisement sheets of the Morning Post to her 
 niece, with the suggestion that she should mark 
 anything seeming suitable, and hand them back to 
 her aunts for inspection. And Valerie sat for an 
 hour beneath the light of a lamp mumbling half 
 aloud, " Wanted a nursery-governess for two little 
 girls." " Required at once, a governess for one boy,
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 experienced." "Wanted, lady's help." "Wanted 
 young ladies' companion, age not under thirty- 
 five." 
 
 "The only really promising advertisements I can 
 see are for parlourmaids and cooks," she said at last, 
 in desperation. " They ask for, and appear to be 
 offered all sorts of advantages ; but the governesses," 
 and an expressive, rather disgusted shrug finished 
 the sentence. 
 
 "I have found one," said Miss Angela, looking 
 up over her glasses: "'Wanted immediately, a 
 governess-companion for two little boys, aged four 
 and three. Must be good tempered, obliging, well 
 recommended, and have no objection to a little light 
 housework. Abstainer, Church of England. Salary 
 24.' How does that strike you?" 
 
 " I can't say I feel inclined to jump at it," returned 
 Valerie. " The light housework is possibly only the 
 thin end of the wedge, and I should find I was little 
 more than a general servant in the end. I admit," 
 as Miss Angela frowned, " that it is a little difficult 
 to find anything for which I am suited ; but I won't 
 begin with housework, thank you, because I've never 
 even held a duster." 
 
 " Then I don't think I would let anyone know it," 
 said Miss Hermione promptly, and Valerie interposed 
 with haste 
 
 " I might teach very young children, but it seems 
 there is little demand for companions " 
 
 " Not for young girls in these days," replied Miss 
 Angela, with severity in her voice. "There was a 
 time when nice, sensible, well-mannered ladies were 
 in demand, but that day is past Girls do as they 
 please now, and go where and with whom they 
 please. And from what I know of you, Valerie, I 
 
 132
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 do not think you would be likely to make yourself 
 content in the home of old people." 
 
 "It would depend upon the old people," smiled 
 Valerie, a little dubiously. " One never gets much 
 of a salary at that sort of work, does one ? " 
 
 "That also depends upon the people. But if I 
 may pass the remark, without risking the danger 
 of a violent outburst from you, Valerie, I should 
 say that you that your appearance would be a 
 good deal against your getting among nice, kindly, 
 Christian people." 
 
 " My appearance ! Why, what is the matter 
 with it?" 
 
 Valerie was not angry, a fact which her aunts 
 realised with two little sighs of relie She seemed 
 to be rather amused. 
 
 " It is a little er remarkable," said Miss Angela, 
 while the eyes of both ladies roamed over the 
 slender, black-robed figure that was full of grace 
 in every line and curve, and upward to the delicate 
 beauty of the perfect little face, and the crown of 
 wonderful, waving, brilliant hair. " I hardly know 
 how to express my meaning ; and you are not easy 
 to advise. But I would suggest that you wore more 
 more ordinary clothes, of a more ordinary cut, 
 and that you parted your hair down the centre, 
 and made some endeavour to induce it to set a 
 little closer to your head." 
 
 She stroked her own faded hair down on both 
 sides of her face, nearly over her ears, as she spoke, 
 in a manner that was a half suggestion to Valerie 
 to adopt a similar style of head-dress. 
 
 " I must try," said the girl good humouredly, 
 struggling with a smile, but without much enthusiasm. 
 And to herself she was saying 
 
 133
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 I suppose there's a sort of ungovernable jealousy 
 latent in even old women like that!" 
 
 And the hours lengthened into days, and the days 
 into two more weeks, before there was any sign of 
 the search for employment being a successful one. 
 
 And then, one morning, Miss Hermione read aloud 
 a letter that she had received from the doctor's 
 wife, which lady had heard of "just the post for 
 Miss Valerie," and hastened to give all information 
 concerning it without delay. 
 
 There was nothing to which Valerie could raise 
 any reasonable objection ; indeed, she was ready to 
 jump at the first chance that offered her an 
 opportunity of leaving Dale ; and so it was 
 arranged that she should go back to town on the 
 morrow for the purpose of interviewing the lady 
 who might require her services, and remain there 
 till she entered upon her new duties. 
 
 And this being settled, Valerie threw off the last 
 rag of care and anxiety, she thrust aside all fear, 
 which in a measure had worn itself out by degrees 
 during these uneventful days when she had kept 
 herself a willing prisoner at Dale ; and with the 
 knowledge that she would soon be out of the house 
 of those women who had the knack of rousing in 
 her all that was worst, she brightened considerably. 
 
 Most of the day she devoted to packing. When 
 tea was a thing of the past, she put on her outdoor 
 garments, and slipped by a side way into the gardens 
 of Dale. 
 
 There was a high wind blowing ; the air was 
 crisp and cold, and the shadows of evening were 
 rapidly falling upon land and sea when Valerie 
 turned swiftly out of the dim gardens and into the 
 little path which led from them up to the cliff. 
 
 '34
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 It was the evening which would be her last 
 beneath her aunts' roof that was not a very sad 
 thought ; it was perhaps the last time she would 
 look out on to this wide stretch of sand, this 
 restless, beautiful bit of the sea that was a thought 
 that held just a vague touch of half regret. Far 
 away behind her lay the land, that on this clear, 
 dark night looked very fair, and a little mysterious. 
 The meadows seemed to be carpeted darkly; where 
 earth and sky met, the great bare trees stood out 
 like weird, fantastic giants in a story-book, with 
 huge arms outstretched to the world. Far away 
 there could be seen the twinkling lights of Deeping 
 the only bit of light visible. 
 
 She stood long in the same position, with the 
 darkness and the gloom in front of her, the still, 
 peaceful country and the light behind her. And 
 she shuddered. The thought came, and forced itself 
 upon her, was it portentous of the future? The 
 darkness ahead, the light left behind ? 
 
 With a quick movement she turned her back 
 determinedly against the chill outlook, her face to 
 the clear sky. And as she turned, she realised that 
 she was no longer alone. 
 
 Wingate stood before her ; and without the 
 slightest attempt on her part at pretended surprise, 
 she gave him her hand. 
 
 " And so you have come here at last 1 " he said.
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 XIV 
 T last," Valerie echoed, a little question- 
 
 The swift colour had flown to her face, 
 her heart was beating with mingled 
 pleasure and uneasiness. She had hoped that this 
 man had quite forgotten her, and at the same time 
 feared it ; she was glad and sorry both to meet him 
 once more, and she was conscious of a foolish, childish 
 hysterical longing to let the tears that she had 
 checked so long, flow unrestrained. 
 
 " Yes ; at last," he repeated. " Would you have 
 me believe that you are not well aware that I know 
 you have not been here since that last day at Delmar, 
 when you turned your back deliberately upon us one 
 and all?" 
 
 " Oh, not deliberately, not only because I could 
 not help it not ungratefully." 
 
 He made an impatient movement at the word, and 
 she asked swiftly 
 
 " They they did not think that ? " 
 
 " No, they think nothing unkind of you, if that is 
 what you care most to hear. It was through me that 
 you were dragged, perhaps against your will, to 
 Delmar, through me that we annoyed you, and 
 possibly caused you a great deal of trouble by our 
 attentions ; and so I took it upon myself to explain 
 the situation as I thought I understood it, and as I 
 thought you would best like it explained Delmar 
 
 '36
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 and his sisters, having met the ladies at Dale, under- 
 stood readily enough; and what I could not explain, 
 I left them to get out of their own imaginations. 
 That is why," with a sound of sharp resentment in 
 his voice that was hasty, and a little less soft than she 
 remembered it, "you have been left in peace." 
 
 She made no answer. She had walked onward 
 while he spoke, and he kept pace by her side, now. 
 
 " Have they been keeping you a prisoner," he 
 asked presently, " or have you been one of your own 
 free will." 
 
 " I might have come here almost every hour of the 
 day and evening, if you mean that," she returned. 
 "You must not give them blame that is not due to 
 them." 
 
 " Then what kept you away ? " 
 
 She might have answered truthfully u You," but she 
 kept silence miserable, restless silence. 
 
 " Was it that you wished to avoid me, also ? You 
 knew that I should come here." 
 
 " Yes. After what you said to me as I left Delmar, 
 I thought it not unlikely." 
 
 "Thank you." 
 
 a Well, I have come to-night, anyway, have I not ? 
 And you may save your unkind speeches ; it is not 
 worth while being cross with a person you will very 
 likely never have an opportunity of being cross to 
 again. I've come to-night and it is to say 
 good-bye." 
 
 M Good-bye ! " 
 
 " Yes ; I am leaving Dale to-morrow." 
 
 "Leaving Dale? Leaving your aunts? Do you 
 mean for always ? " Wingate followed one sharp ques- 
 tion with the other, swiftly, while a puzzled frown drew 
 his brows together. " Is it some sudden decision ? "
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Four distinct questions," laughed Valerie, with her 
 head bent against the wind. " Which shall I answer 
 first?" 
 
 "Which you like; only tell me what you really 
 mean." 
 
 " Is not my meaning simple enough ? I am going 
 away. For always? Well, that is hard to say off 
 hand, but I think it very likely." 
 
 " And you knew all along ; and you kept it a 
 secret ? " 
 
 " I have known that I must go some day. I told 
 you so ; but when the actual moment would arrive 
 I did not know till to-day. It is anything but a 
 secret. It has been discussed at weary-ing length, 
 I can assure you." 
 
 The wind was playing havoc with her hat ; it blew 
 the little shining strands of hair across her eyes, and 
 with its rough, damp breath, brought a glow of colour 
 to her cheeks. 
 
 "You would have gone," Wingate said, "without 
 letting me any of us at Del mar know." 
 
 And it was not because she could not hear him 
 in the wind, which rose boisterously above his voice, 
 that she was silent for a long moment 
 
 " It is not so very interesting," she remarked, when 
 the pause had become awkward. 
 
 "You knew well that it would be interesting to 
 me," he said. " But perhaps you think ..." 
 
 She made a gesture half deprecatory, half impatient, 
 which checked his hasty words. 
 
 "I think I am becoming abominably untruthful," 
 she declared, vexedly ; and, in spite of the wind, lifted 
 her head and looked him full in the eyes. 
 
 " It's the life here the continual necessity for 
 changing the words that come naturally, for those 
 
 138
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 which do not express what I want them to express, 
 but are, perhaps," with a little laugh, "more polite. 
 I suppose it is not odd that one's surroundings, the 
 people with whom one lives, should influence one for 
 bad or good I never believed in that sort of thing 
 before ; but now I catch myself uttering some petty 
 lie, or worse, some half truth, rather than call down 
 upon my head an elaborate lecture that must end 
 in my being rude to somebody and, as there is 
 never anyone else handy, one of my aunts ! " 
 
 " I don't think that need weigh very heavily on 
 your mind," VVingate returned ; " I cannot imagine 
 you, in any circumstances, being other than the soul 
 of truth and " 
 
 She turned from him sharply, smothering a little 
 cry of passionate disclaimer that rose to her lips. 
 
 "Then you will please begin to imagine me all 
 over again ! I'm not a nice person at all ; in fact, 
 I am hateful. And, what is more important," she 
 added, with one of those quick changes of manner 
 which kept one always a little pleasantly in doubt 
 as to what she might do or say next, " I'm very 
 tired. Whoever put up that old bench has my 
 deepest gratitude. I'm going to sit on it now, and 
 watch the sea, and ..." 
 
 "And tell me why you are going away." He 
 interrupted quickly, but not following her to the 
 rough bench, on to which she dropped with a weary 
 air that was very new to her. 
 
 " I couldn't live here quite all my life, you know," 
 Valerie replied, with her chin in the palm of one 
 hand and her eyes on the sea. " I only came to 
 stay after after father died, and till they, my aunts," 
 with a curious, half unconscious imitation of Miss 
 Angela's deliberate tones, "should have found me 
 
 139
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 1 lady-like employment.' What is lady-like employ- 
 ment?" suddenly looking up at him through the 
 fast-deepening shadows. 
 
 " I suppose there are many kinds that would come 
 under that head. But you don't mean me to under- 
 stand that that they are launching you out on the 
 world alone, to " 
 
 " Oh, don't blame them. It is not all their doing. 
 I am more than willing to go. I'd rather be a 
 servant than go on living here. When I come along 
 this path, I think of some poor prisoner whose eyes 
 might turn always to the sea in search of freedom ; 
 but there's never freedom from one's thoughts, is 
 there ? There's never ..." 
 
 She had been speaking more to herself than to 
 him ; and now she ceased abruptly and confusedly, 
 as she looked up to catch his keen eyes bent 
 earnestly upon her. 
 
 " I had no idea you were as unhappy as this," he 
 said gravely. " To be sure, I have had no opportunity 
 of seeing you in your temporary home. You have 
 taken very good care of that ! I wish you had not," 
 suddenly abandoning his position at the edge of the 
 cliff, and seating himself beside her on the bench. 
 " I wish you had let me " 
 
 " Keep coming to Dale ? Keep telling them that 
 you knew father once, just when he was having the 
 worst time he ever had when mother died, and I 
 was born ? Oh, that would have been a red rag to a 
 bull! They never forgave him for being unlike 
 themselves, and for marrying someone of whom they 
 knew nothing. They would have read you a lecture 
 in the end yes, even you! and you could not 
 have said much, because they are defenceless old 
 ladies and they would have forbidden me ever to 
 
 140
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 speak to you, and I should have disobeyed them in 
 the very spirit of mischief, if nothing else ; and then 
 I should have been acting more dishonourably than 
 I am acting now." 
 
 " Dishonourably ! " 
 
 " From their point of view yes. Can you imagine 
 that if they thought I was here talking to you now 
 oh, can you fancy it! Why, I just tried to make 
 myself a little pleasant to Mr James, the curate you 
 know, and he's the stupidest thing one could meet 
 anywhere, and Aunt Angela was furious. I heard 
 her say to Aunt Hermione, afterwards, that ' the girl 
 has a way with her eyes which is er er most 
 unpleasant 1 ' I was the girl, you understand, and I 
 was boring myself to death to try and be civil ! " 
 
 " I think that Miss Drummond was right, however," 
 said Wingate, with an odd smile. "She used the 
 word 'unpleasant' most incorrectly," as Valerie turned 
 round in sharp surprise, " but you certainly have a 
 'way' with your eyes that well, that I wish you had 
 not, child at least I wish that it was one which no 
 one else had ever detected but myself ..." 
 
 " Oh, Man ! Thy name is Unreason 1" she returned, 
 with flippancy with which she instinctively tried to 
 cloak a sense of nervousness that amounted almost to 
 fear. 
 
 " Is not that a wish that is a little selfish too ? n 
 
 u I suppose it is," he said, while the eyes in question 
 met his through the dusk, with a touch of coquetry in 
 their depths that mingled oddly with their natural 
 frank innocence. " I suppose it is because, like all 
 other wishes, like all my thoughts of you, it is, 
 perhaps, what you would call selfish. It is selfish to 
 wish that all your life had been colourless that 
 none had shared it ..."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " How do you know that it is not so ? " 
 
 He shook his head unbelievingly. She had checked 
 his words, that had begun to ring with a touch of 
 haste, almost of passion, with quiet ease that might 
 well have been born of habit, at least, of a good deal 
 of experience. And he answered her with a shade of 
 regret in his voice, that sent a momentary chill to her 
 heart 
 
 " Because, from the very little which you have told 
 me of your life with your father, I know that it must 
 have been one of unusual freedom, one of delightful, 
 careless happiness. Because I know, that though you 
 may seem a little friendless here, there must be many 
 whom you might count your friends if you would. 
 And more than that, there must be some who brought 
 into your life happiness even love. And it is that 
 thought which makes me selfish, which makes me wish 
 
 that it were otherwise, so that in time when " 
 
 One chill, gloved little hand plucked at her furs, and 
 Wingate, leaning forward, took the restless fingers in 
 his, and stripping them of their soft, suede covering, 
 carried them deliberately to his lips. 
 
 " It is a little cold, after all," said Valerie quietly, 
 " and, I think, rather late." 
 
 As she rose, Wingate released her hand sharply. 
 Just so could he fancy a woman of his own world 
 answering him, just so could he imagine her bringing 
 to an abrupt conclusion a flirtation that she feared 
 she had carried a little too far. The thought was 
 hateful. It roused in him the half fear that he had 
 determinedly put away from him from that hour 
 when he had first met her. He tried to see his watch 
 in the dim light, and, failing, struck a match with 
 exaggerated care. 
 
 "It is nearly a quarter to seven/' he said, and 
 142
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 turned with her in the direction of Dale. A long 
 silence fell upon them, which lasted till the little 
 private path leading down into the Dale gardens 
 was reached. 
 
 Her heart was by no means at rest In five 
 minutes they would have parted, perhaps never to 
 meet again. This, she felt, ought to be her hope, 
 and knew well that it was not. She had checked 
 the words which, a few minutes ago, he would have 
 spoken to her, and she was miserably conscious that 
 he knew she had checked them deliberately, purposely. 
 A little feeling of desolation desolation utterly 
 unlike that which she had known such a short time 
 ago crept over her, and forced to her eyes the tears 
 she fought to hold back. 
 
 "And now you have not told me where you are 
 going to-morrow," he said, with, she thought, great 
 cheerfulness. "But I must strive to break myse'f 
 off the habit of asking questions. I hope, however," 
 and not giving her time to answer, " that it is where 
 you will be happier than you have been here. Good- 
 bye, Miss Drummond. You are quite safe? Mind 
 the edge of that dip in the path ! It is dark there. 
 Good-bye again." 
 
 He held her hand lightly in his for a short moment, 
 then turned away, and replacing his cap upon his 
 head, strode in the opposite direction without another 
 word or the faintest sign of a backward glance. And 
 Valerie stood where he left her, dumb, like one 
 chained to the spot, her eyes wide with wonder and 
 heavy with unshed tears, her heart cold within her. 
 
 Only by a superhuman effort had she refrained 
 from running after him, from calling him back. 
 
 She knew that she had angered him a little and 
 disappointed him greatly ; and, intuitively, she under- 
 
 M3
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 stood that to-night he had depended upon her to put 
 out of his mind some half doubt against which he 
 might have been fighting, and, instead, she had 
 strengthened it. 
 
 ** So best ! " she told herself, running down the path 
 with reckless haste, and entering the house with a 
 slightly defiant air. But her breath came unevenly, 
 and she brushed the back of one hand half angrily 
 across her eyes, as she sped up to her own rooms.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XV 
 
 THE next morning was occupied with the 
 last of the packing, and the receiving of 
 endless directions from Miss Angela, who 
 had a perfect talent for arranging other 
 people's affairs to her own taste a talent which 
 was wasted to-day, for Valerie heeded nothing that 
 was said to her, and answered Miss Angela with 
 indifference that was maddening. 
 
 At last the horses were at the door. Upton stood 
 ready to watch the departure of the guest, with the 
 first trace of amiability that Valerie had ever seen 
 on his sour face, and both old ladies came as far as 
 the centre of the hall to take leave of their niece. 
 
 "You will let us have a card to-morrow?" said 
 Miss Hermione, "and we both trust that you will 
 be very happy." 
 
 They kissed her, on this occasion, and received her 
 murmured expressions of thanks with gracious smiles. 
 
 And then the doors of Dale closed upon her. The 
 slow old horses dragged their way down the long 
 drive, and Valerie looked out on to the dull, grey 
 country, without much hope and without much 
 interest Again she had started out on a new path, 
 and she wondered whither it would lead her; but 
 at this moment she cared very little. 
 
 She was glad that her aunts had not offered to see 
 her off at the station, because, free of their presence, 
 she was able to secure a place in a first-class carriage, 
 
 145 *
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Indeed, there were few passengers bound for London, 
 and Valerie took possession of a whole compartment, 
 which the guard evidently intended that she should 
 keep for herself, since he carefully locked both doors. 
 Then a boy brought her some papers, and a whistle 
 was blown, and the train moved slowly out of the 
 station. 
 
 Valerie remembered that they would stop at 
 Hitching, and after that, run straight through to 
 London. And she pushed aside the papers, threw 
 herself back in the corner, and closed her eyes. 
 
 Mitching was reached before she realised that she 
 had well started on her journey. There was a good 
 deal of bustle at the station, and she noticed, aim- 
 lessly, from her position at the side of the train 
 farthest from the platform, that the guard took up 
 a slightly forbidding position close to the door of 
 her compartment 
 
 In another moment he had unlocked, and flung it 
 wide open. His face wore a relieved smile, and his 
 hand went smartly up to his cap. 
 
 " Here you are, sir ! " he was saying briskly. 
 " Thought you managed to miss it ! . . . Right, sir ! " 
 
 And the door banged, there was a shrill whistle, 
 a shout of " Right behind ! " Then someone, breathing 
 quickly, sprang into the carriage, and with a low, 
 soft laugh, sat down opposite Valerie. 
 
 " Did I frighten you ? Are you not going to shake 
 hands with me ? " asked Wingate ; while with merciless 
 eyes he watched the colour rush to her face, and fade 
 away again to leave her white as death. " I did 
 frighten you ! Forgive me ! " 
 
 He leant forward, and took first possession of her 
 muff, which he threw aside, and then of both her 
 hands. 
 
 146
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Why don't you say something to me ? " 
 
 " I don't understand I " 
 
 " Is it so odd that I should want to go to London 
 too?" 
 
 " I think it is at least by this train . . /' 
 
 "Then I will confess that I wanted to talk to 
 you." 
 
 " But you could not have known, you . . ." 
 
 " I could make a very shrewd guess, which turned 
 out to be the right one. Well ? " 
 
 She shrugged her shoulders. Her courage was 
 returning. The miserable sense of desolation was 
 fast slipping away from her in his presence; and 
 she kept her eyes lowered, lest he should read in 
 them that the sound of his voice, the touch of his 
 hands on hers, brought to her a gladness which she 
 was striving to hide from him. 
 
 " I am afraid I was almost rude last night," 
 Wingate said, a little ruefully. 
 
 " You were vexed with me." 
 
 " I think I was; but I've suffered for it ever since." 
 
 "You flung my hand away from you then," looking 
 down at her imprisoned fingers, "as though as 
 though " 
 
 "Heaven forgive me! I was angry, I confess it 
 And there is more still that I must confess to you. 
 It is why I am here. I guessed you would be going 
 to town, wherever else you might go afterwards, and 
 I knew there were only two good trains for you to 
 choose from this and the night one. So you see, 
 there was only the next to wait for if you had not 
 taken this." 
 
 " But the guard, he . . ." 
 
 " He is a genius ! only he does not count, now. 
 Look at me, Val! You know what angered, what
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 disappointed me last night why did you do it 
 why ? It was deliberate, determined." 
 
 " I know," she returned, very low. 
 
 " You were afraid . . ." 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " Of me ? " incredulously. 
 
 " No ; never of you ; only, perhaps, of what you 
 were going to say." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 "I cannot tell you, don't ask me! It sounds 
 horrible to you that I should say so much ; it must, 
 it does to me. But I can't help it, it must be the 
 truth to you, so far, whatever happens." 
 
 "And it must be the truth to you, now and always. 
 You know that you are dear to me a woman always 
 knows. You know that it has been so almost from 
 the first hour that we met I don't think I ever 
 tried to hide what was in my heart I only tried 
 to keep from telling you too soon, I only fought 
 with a desire to take you away from the dreary, 
 unsatisfactory life you were leading, to one of 
 happiness such as you had never yet known ; to take 
 you, with or without your will, where no eyes but 
 mine might ever rest on you. Don't you, can't you 
 understand that what has taken almost all the sweet- 
 ness out of the thought of my love for you, out of 
 the hope that you had given me a place in your 
 heart, has been jealousy . . .* 
 
 "You speak wildly." 
 
 "I speak the truth! I was jealous of those old 
 ladies, who, little as they might care for you, shared 
 your life ; I am jealous of all those who who 
 shared it before you came here. Why," suddenly, 
 "do you keep your face turned away? Why did 
 you say, just now, that it must be the truth to me 
 
 148
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 'whatever happens'? Why were you afraid that I 
 should say to you last night what I am saying 
 now? Val, answer me, look at me. My darling, 
 you are not angry at my being here, not angry 
 at one word I have said. You know * 
 
 With an enormous effort she lifted her eyes to his, 
 and, snatching her hands from his hold, held them 
 up, with a piteous little gesture that implored silence. 
 
 "Don't say any more," she pleaded breathlessly. 
 " Do not It it is all impossible. You can't mean 
 it. You have made a mistake. Oh, why did you 
 come here at all ? Why could you not just let me 
 go and and forget me ? " 
 
 "Because I love you. The explanation is very 
 simple, and to my mind an all-sufficient one. Val, 
 don't you hear, don't you understand, that you look 
 at me like that ? " 
 
 " Oh, I hear, and I understand, all too well. But 
 I tell you it is a mistake. It can't be. It must not" 
 
 "And I ask you why? Do you imagine that I 
 am mistaken in what I feel towards you? I, who 
 in all my life, and it is almost double the length of 
 yours, never yet fancied that any other woman was 
 dear to me? Do you think that I have waited all 
 these years for the one woman to come into my life, 
 and then not know it, then allow myself to be 
 mistaken ? " 
 
 He took her hands again, and now pulled from 
 them the long gloves, and because they were so chill, 
 chafed them gently first, and then held them, first 
 one and then the other, close against his lips. Her 
 heart seemed to stand still; her eyes rested mistily 
 upon his bared, bent head. She had thought her 
 heart dead to love for ever; and now she understood 
 that, till this moment, she had never even guessed 
 
 149
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 at its real meaning. However she had despised 
 herself, she had still thought that love, which the 
 misery of shame and humiliation had killed, had 
 been responsible for the ruin of her life ; but now 
 she knew that what she had felt for the man who 
 had laid waste all her youth, and robbed her of every 
 future hope, was something as far apart from what 
 she felt for the man at her side, from the passionate 
 tenderness that leapt up in her heart in answer to 
 that which shone in his eyes, and rung out clearly 
 in his voice, as the pure, flower-scented breeze of 
 summer is to the scorching, destroying breath of a 
 furnace. And the knowledge brought her no joy ; 
 it turned her sick and faint with even a new dread. 
 
 " Have you no word for me ? Are you not going 
 to answer my question, and tell me why you look 
 upon my love as impossible, a mistake?" 
 
 Further silence was out of the question ; with his 
 eyes fixed on hers, while he waited patiently for her 
 reply, she knew that she must say something, and 
 she cast about for some words which would mean 
 little, and gain her a little time. 
 
 " You have known me so short a time. We have, 
 after all, met but seldom," she began weakly; while 
 Wingate, with an impatient movement, dropped her 
 hands, and took a few steps up and down the narrow 
 flooring of the compartment 
 
 "What is time?" he said, suddenly coming back 
 to her side, and resting one knee on the seat next 
 
 her. "What difference does it make? A day, a 
 month, a year ! However long I knew you, I could 
 never love you more dearly. I knew it would be so 
 from that night when we first met I knew it v/as 
 so when we met again ; and I have understood that 
 
 1 can know no rest away from you, through all these
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 miserable days when you have purposely kept yourself 
 a prisoner in your aunts' house. Are you keeping 
 silence that I may read by it that you have no place 
 in your heart for me ? You have told me before that 
 I am persistent, and you may tell me, now, that I 
 am presumptuous too. But unless I hear it from 
 your own lips, I will not believe that I am nothing 
 to you. I will not believe that you do not care. I 
 won't believe that, though I may have but a small 
 corner in your heart now, the day will not come 
 when you will give it all to me all your heart, all 
 your love, all your life, your every thought, as I 
 give mine to you, and you alone. No," leaning 
 down, and lifting her face with gentle force to his, 
 " I prefer, after all, to take my answer from your 
 eyes. Something tells me they may be kinder . . ." 
 
 Her face was framed in his hands; against her 
 will, almost without her knowledge, she yielded to 
 his tender hold. And her eyes, compelled by his, 
 were no longer lowered. Through a mist they met 
 his gaze, and beneath it, answering it, grew humid, 
 lustrous, gentle with the infinite gentleness of a 
 love that momentarily banished fear, and dulled the 
 memory of every bitter thing. 
 
 He drew her upward into his arms till she rested 
 on his heart ; he closed the tear-filled eyes and 
 quivering lips with slow, lingering kisses. 
 
 " Is it true ?" he whispered to her. " Heart of my 
 heart, has the day come already?" And then, at 
 last, she seemed to wake to life, to memory. With a 
 low cry that was like a moan of pain, she put him 
 sharply from her, and went, with faltering step, made 
 more unsteady by the rocking of the rapidly moving 
 train, to the opposite side of the carriage. 
 
 " Have you no mercy, no pity ! " she breathed so
 
 NOR, ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 low that he could barely catch the words, while she 
 shrank far away into the corner, and let her face fall 
 forward on to her hands. " Oh, what have I done 
 what have I done ! " 
 
 " I cannot understand you, or your manner to-day," 
 Wingate said, very quietly, though one fleeting glance 
 into his face showed her that it was white and stern. 
 " What does it mean ? What do your words mean ? 
 You love me your eyes have told me, even if your 
 lips were silent and yet you shrink from me now as 
 one in fear. You love me, and yet you have tried to 
 put me from you and make me think that my love is 
 but a fancy. You must have some reason it is but 
 justice that I " 
 
 " It is but just that you should know the truth," 
 she answered him suddenly. "Oh, bear with me, 
 grant me your patience but a little while. I have 
 been silent because I am a coward I have been a 
 coward too long. You love and you believe in me. 
 Can you not think what it is to me to tell you that 
 your faith and trust are misplaced. You know 
 nothing of my life, yet you would link yours to it, yet 
 you would give your name into my keeping. And it 
 is left for me," with a little ring of hopeless agony in 
 her soft voice, "to bid you to warn you against " 
 
 " Val 1 " His hands fell on hers in a grip that was 
 painful. "Do you know have you any idea what 
 you are saying ? " 
 
 "Perfectly. Listen," she added, while a great 
 bitterness crept into her voice, a bitterness that lent a 
 strange force to its low, mellow tones. " I believe it 
 now, whatever you must be forced to think of me 
 after I do care, as I never dreamed it was in me to 
 care, as, six weeks ago, I should not have deemed it 
 possible I could care. I love you in that at least I
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 cannot lie to you. And it is because of that, because 
 I know what your faith, your loyalty would be, that I 
 tell you there may be nothing between you and me 
 but separation now, at once, for ever. It is because, 
 in this little time, more than all in this last hour, I 
 have learnt, I understand all that your love might 
 mean for me, that while I confess you are dear to me, 
 I bid you leave me forget the words you have said, 
 forget my existence. And oh, if you would make the 
 way a little more easy for me, leave me without 
 question, without seeking to know more than that 
 there is but one thing for us to part" 
 
 He heard her in silence, he listened carefully to 
 every word she uttered ; and when she paused, a little 
 breathlessly, his hold upon her hands tightened. 
 
 " I cannot I will not ! " he returned with deter- 
 mination. "If you know what your words convey 
 if you have any idea . . ." 
 
 "I know what I say. I bid you leave me now, 
 because when you know all, not all my love can ever 
 bring you happiness. I bid you hate me, despise me 
 anything except believe in me. There are women 
 as young, far fairer than I, who will give you love 
 women whose hearts you may have laid bare to you. 
 Go to them, make one of them the holder of your 
 peace, let her bear your name and guard your honour 
 go to any, but do not trust your happiness to me." 
 
 " But if I would be the judge," he said, his voice 
 sinking to a whisper, his face devoid of colour, " if I 
 will not believe the words you utter against yourself? 
 You may have that to tell me of wrongs done to you, 
 but never of wrong done by yourself. You child ! 
 What can there be in your life that you need hold 
 secret from me, to whom you are dearest ? A little 
 
 sorrow perhaps, a " 
 
 'S3
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 The words died on his colourless lips. He looked 
 into her eyes and read there something that seemed 
 to stop the beats of his heart ; he watched her 
 cower farther away, and marked the burning flame 
 of red that crept up from her throat to the very 
 roots of her hair. 
 
 A low, sharp cry escaped him ; and before she 
 could resist, he leant down to her again and held 
 her crushed against his breast, while he looked 
 down into her eyes with mingled dread and terrible 
 longing in his own. 
 
 "Answer me!" he commanded hoarsely. "You 
 madden me till you force the question that is an 
 insult, from me. What is there in your life 
 which ..." 
 
 She put her cold, ungloved hand before his mouth 
 swiftly ; and the colour, which had burned in her 
 face, faded slowly away till she went to the pallor 
 of death. 
 
 "That which forbids me to be your wife, or the 
 wife of any man," she said very slowly. 
 
 And in the utterance of these words it seemed 
 as if her last breath had gone from her out on to the 
 dead silence that was their only answer. 
 
 54
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XVI 
 
 WINGATE'S arms unclosed slowly, they 
 let go their hold upon her lingeringly, 
 yet with a certain decision ; they fell 
 to his sides as though, momentarily, all 
 power had left them. And Valerie, free, weak and 
 faint, with a touch of sudden cold numbing her from 
 head to foot, groped her way blindly across the 
 floor of the carriage, and sank down in the corner 
 farthest from Wingate, with a movement that seemed 
 to show that her limbs refused to support her 
 another moment. 
 
 But her eyes never left him. They had had the 
 courage to meet his while her lips uttered the words 
 which would put them asunder ; they had the 
 courage to watch every expression that passed 
 over his face, that was suddenly grey and drawn, 
 that in the last few minutes had grown old. He 
 threw himself on to the seat opposite to her; and 
 then he was so silent, so still, that there might hardly 
 have been life in him. He looked at her, but with 
 the eyes of a man who is dazed or sightless; he 
 breathed as a man might breathe who had received 
 his death-blow. If he had any words to say to her 
 they would not come, speech was for the moment 
 impossible. 
 
 Only the rumble of wheels over the metals, only 
 the incessant swaying of the train, only the steady 
 rush through the air the occasional shriek of the 
 
 '35
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 engine. In a vague, half helpless way she wondered 
 if these were all the sounds the world held, all it 
 would ever hold for her. It seemed now as though 
 she had been robbed of life, but yet that the full power 
 to suffer had been left to her. 
 
 The dim, grey afternoon grew darker to her eyes, 
 earth and sky seemed to join in a wide, mocking 
 smile at her. The silence was almost unendurable, 
 yet she was as powerless to break it as he. And the 
 minutes lengthened into perhaps half an hour she 
 never knew; only once he stirred, and that was to go 
 to the other side of the compartment and to let his 
 unseeing eyes gaze out upon the gloomy country that 
 for ever more would be hideous in his sight A slight 
 shudder passed over her : she noticed that half 
 unconsciously, perhaps instinctively, he had put the 
 distance of the whole carriage between them. She 
 sat crouched far into her corner, her eyes only stealing 
 glances at his stern face now and again, her hands 
 clasped tightly in her lap. 
 
 It came to her that if she had been less truthful, if 
 she had held her peace, she might have been the 
 happiest woman on earth at this moment instead of 
 the most miserable. Pat Brabazon would never 
 betray her, the little world that had been hers might 
 have been dead to her from this moment if she had 
 so willed it Wingate would have been more than 
 willing to take her to the farthest corner of the earth 
 her secret might have remained locked away in her 
 own breast from him . . . She thrust aside the 
 thought with the same gesture as she might have 
 thrust aside some object, some living thing abhorrent 
 to her. It had never once occurred to her to try 
 to deceive him. His love, his complete faith in her, 
 his whole clean, simple life, spent in worship of her, 
 
 156
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 would have been torture unspeakable if her soul 
 might not be laid bare to him, if her eyes must fall 
 beneath that searching glance of his. 
 
 The sudden movement she made, the unconscious 
 throwing out of her hands, as the thought presented 
 itself, and as it was thrust from her mind, roused 
 Wingate. His eyes came back from their hazy 
 contemplation of the dull, moving landscape ; slowly 
 he reached her side again. 
 
 " Tell me it is not true," he said. " Tell me that 
 this last half-hour has been a horrible dream not the 
 truth 1 Val, say it was a lie all a lie, to try me to 
 -never mind the object of it I could forgive 
 anything if I might hear from your lips that it was a 
 lie." 
 
 His voice quivered on the words, and he looked 
 down into her eyes with a look so longing, so strained 
 with hope and fear, that for a moment she let her 
 head fall forward till her eyes were hidden against the 
 sleeve of his coat 
 
 " I dare not ! Do you think I would wound your 
 heart to test it ? Do you think I would bring you a 
 moment's suffering if I could help it ? It is the truth 
 it had to be told, and I had to tell it I might have 
 held you with a lie, I might have kept your love with 
 deception, but so, it would have lost all its sweetness, 
 so, it would have been worthless. Don't make me 
 speak of it any more go, leave me. If you can, 
 forgive ; if you will, forget me." 
 
 "I cannot," he made answer slowly, but with 
 infinite tenderness, with passionate yearning in the 
 tone rather than in the words, that made her look up 
 swiftly in a flash of unconscious hope. "You bid 
 me do what you know is impossible ; you tell me 
 what should break down my faith, and drive my 
 
 '57
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 love to forsake you, and I I only know in this 
 moment that passion is stronger than wisdom, that 
 life is worthless without you, my arms empty for 
 ever if you leave them, my heart dead if you may 
 not rest on it I only know that though guilt and 
 dishonour form the barrier between us, my soul is 
 crying out to you whatever you are, be mine ! 
 And yet ... " 
 "Ah!" 
 
 The one little word left her lips in a breathless sob. 
 She had read pardon and love in every tone and 
 glance of his. While he spoke she had vaguely 
 dreamed of the possibility of a future that should 
 blot out the past; and as the words "And yet ..." 
 came heavily to her on the hopeless sigh that carried 
 them, the little warmth that had touched her heart 
 gave place to the old chill numbness. 
 
 She sat motionless, while the train whirled on 
 through numberless stations now, while those that 
 were familiar to her showed their names in little 
 blurred flashes of white letters, while every passing 
 moment brought her nearer to her journey's end, 
 and every landmark told her that London was close 
 at hand. 
 
 Wingate was silent too. At what passed in his 
 mind after the hopelessness of those two despairing 
 words "And yet ..." she could not even guess. 
 
 Presently the train slowed down a little, there 
 was that dimness in the atmosphere that seems to 
 belong alone to London ; then station lights flashed 
 out, some indistinct information was shouted on 
 all sides, and the door of the carriage was hung 
 upon by an ever-attentive porter. Mechanically, 
 Valerie was putting on her gloves, as mechanically 
 Wingate put her furs about her furs too heavy 
 
 158
 
 NOR ALL YOUB TEAKS 
 
 for the season, perhaps, but not too heavy for her 
 chilled body. 
 
 His every action forced upon her the knowledge 
 that the moment of parting was at hand ; the lifting 
 of her dressing-bag from the rack, his brief directions 
 to the porter, the touch of determination in the 
 squaring of his shoulders as he stood up by the 
 door they all seemed to thrust into her mind, to 
 whisper in her ears the dreaded "Good-bye" that 
 must follow upon them. 
 
 " I forgot," he said, as he helped her to the 
 platform, "that you have not said where you are 
 going." 
 
 "To some old servants of mine in Chelsea," she 
 returned. 
 
 " The address," he questioned ; and she gave it, 
 too miserable to wonder, too full of dread that the 
 few steps between her and the waiting cab would 
 be passed over with rapidity, to heed that he put 
 the question. 
 
 She saw her bag being put inside; without interest 
 she watched her boxes placed on another cab ; then 
 she turned and made a movement as though she 
 would hold out her hand to Wingate ; but he held 
 her dress from the side of the door, and in another 
 instant had followed her. Her eyes sought his, her 
 lips parted in an effort to speak, the tears, through 
 which she had seen all things dimly, fell at last down 
 the whiteness of her soft cheeks. She could no more 
 have said good-bye to him in the bustle of that 
 crowded station than she could have flown such 
 farewell words as theirs must be could not be spoken 
 with a hundred pairs of eyes looking on. He 
 understood that too. They would be spoken here, 
 perhaps now, or ...
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Why have you stayed ? " she asked faintly. 
 
 "Need you ask?" he answered her with another 
 question. "Did you think that I should leave you 
 in that throng of people? Did you dream that I 
 could stand calmly aside while you were taken from 
 my sight, perhaps for ever ? that I could see you go, 
 not knowing where you went? Are you thinking 
 that there is even a shade of anger in my heart 
 against you ? If so, you not only wrong me, but you 
 misunderstand me terribly. If I have been silent, 
 it is because I have been fighting with my thoughts, 
 and fighting with the desire to put you first before 
 wisdom, before fear of the future, before all things 
 that I have ever held dearest. If I have been silent, 
 it is because I dared not say the words that rose in 
 my heart, for your sake as well as for my own. Do 
 you think I set no value upon the truth, as you have 
 had the courage to reveal it to me to-day ? Do you 
 think that it is in my power only to condemn an 
 error, and not to realise your need of pity and of 
 pardon ? " 
 
 "But though you might give me love, your faith, 
 your trust could never be with me again," she said 
 wistfully, breathlessly; and it seemed to her that 
 they travelled many minutes before his answer came. 
 
 " Both would be yours, always. But memory would 
 be mine ! God knows, I would give half my life at 
 this moment that it might not be so, but I know 
 that I could never forget that some other life had 
 reigned before me in your heart It is that knowledge 
 with which I have been battling." 
 
 Valerie was silent She could frame no reply to 
 words that seemed to her to set them even farther 
 apart The cab, which had been passing through the 
 most dreary, squalid streets, now emerged from the 
 
 160
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 unpleasant surroundings into those which were quite 
 familiar to her. A minute and the river was in sight, 
 a minute more and she found herself forcing a smile 
 for old Marshall's benefit and deception. He con- 
 tented himself with a low word of welcome, seeing 
 that his mistress was not alone, and conducted her 
 to the rooms set apart for her, to which, without 
 surprise, she knew that Wingate was following her. 
 
 "We managed to keep your old rooms, Miss 
 Valerie," Marshall said with some satisfaction. 
 
 " I see you have. That is very nice," 
 
 " And you will have tea now, Miss ? " 
 
 " I think so. Yes, please." 
 
 Her eyes went to the little table so well re- 
 membered, to some favourite china that had been 
 her mother's, to the little kettle singing merrily over 
 its spirit-lamp. 
 
 " You need not stay to make it, Marshall." 
 
 The old man permitted himself one glance at her 
 white, weary face, another at Wingate's, set and stern 
 as it was; then he went out and closed the door 
 softly behind him. 
 
 "There's trouble in her heart, and in her pretty 
 eyes, poor lamb," he said to his wife below stairs. 
 " I'm inclined to think the child was born under an 
 unlucky star; but I'm powerful glad to think she's 
 back here again." 
 
 161
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XVII 
 
 VALERIE threw her hat and furs upon a 
 sofa; she stooped for a moment over the 
 tea-table ; then a cup fell with a little 
 clatter from her fingers, and she turned, 
 holding out both hands beseechingly, to where 
 Wingate stood by the window. 
 
 " Speak to me ! For God's sake say something. 
 I could bear your reproach and your deepest censure, 
 but I cannot bear this silence. I bade you leave me, 
 and you will not go I 
 
 He met her ; before she had taken three steps 
 towards him, he took both outstretched hands and 
 drew her close, till the palms rested on his breast, 
 till her upturned face was scarcely an inch from his. 
 
 " I have been fighting with myself for you and 
 for me," he returned, softly, slowly. " I have thought 
 it out in every possible way, and, God help us both, 
 I can see nothing for it but separation. I wish I 
 could I wish I could give reins recklessly to passion 
 I wish I could live for the moment and, squander- 
 ing the mad joy of it, forget the future. But I can't 
 I tell you that the curse of memory would be upon 
 \e ever, it would rise up to kill our happiness, it 
 woald make a hell of our paradise. You have told 
 me the truth I honour you from my soul for it 
 but of the circumstances which led to it I know 
 nothing. At this moment I do not feel that I want 
 to know. Call it selfish if you will, but the one 
 thing that stands out clearly in my mind is that our 
 
 161
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 lives are laid waste. It may not," with new, jealous 
 doubt in his voice, " be quite so with you. You love 
 me now ; but you must -you must have loved 
 then ..." 
 
 " I must I did ! Even for you I will not attempt 
 to deny it. If not, I should merit your deepest 
 contempt I called it love, I believed it love! I 
 blinded myself to the truth, and I let another blind 
 me, as I let him cheat me. It was only when I 
 learned what such tenderness as yours might mean to 
 me ; it was only when I understood that my heart had 
 slept till it awakened for you, that I realised how 
 paltry, how shameful a thing was that which in 
 ignorance I had thought love. I don't tell you this in 
 an attempt at any excuse there is no excuse in my 
 case. I only give you, as I have given you all 
 through, the simple truth ; because I could not lie to 
 you, because your love would be worthless to me if I 
 took it in guilt, if I gave you deception for your faith. 
 I never sought you ; I tried with all my might to 
 keep you from seeking me ; you know that is truth 
 too. You said rightly when you said that a woman 
 always knows when she has grown dear to a man. I 
 knew that I was dear to you ; but I would have left 
 you, I would have gone out of your life this very day, 
 never to seek to come into it again I would have 
 spared you the knowledge that you have forced 
 me to give you. But would you let me ? No ! 
 Would you leave me? Would you rest till you 
 had wrung from me a confession that has put upon 
 me the bitterest humiliation, that has lowered me 
 in the only eyes in which I desired to stand well 
 your eyes ! Would you ? No no a thousand 
 times no ! You must be just and own that I left 
 my home this home in which you see me now to 
 
 163
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 go to that one in which you first met me. You may 
 say I stooped to deception with my aunts perhaps I 
 did, but, as I had mapped out life for myself then, it 
 could harm them not at all. And a drowning man 
 catches at a straw. A woman who has lost all, even," 
 a slow, painful red spreading over her face, " even all 
 I had lost, must catch at her straw, must make a 
 way for herself somehow. I thought to leave my 
 old world and all in it behind, I thought to start 
 afresh in a life that would be hateful to me, but that 
 would at least be free from any kind of temptation. 
 I meant to do it. And then you came. O God, had 
 not my punishment been enough without thatl 
 Well, you know the rest. I tried to keep out of your 
 way and you would not let me. I tried to escape 
 you, and you followed me. I bid you go leave me, 
 now, and still you stay. Well, go ; but do not stay 
 to wound me more, do not say, as you were 
 going to say just now, 'You love me now, you 
 loved another who came before me, you will love 
 so neone else another day perhaps, and so we part ; ' 
 because, though I should love you madly, I should 
 doubt you always ! . . . * 
 
 She had snatched her hands out of his hold ; she 
 stood away from him, her eyes burning with the fire 
 of misery, her face, even to her lips, livid, her breath 
 coming pantingly, and her slender body rocking 
 slightly from side to side as one rocks the body in an 
 agony of grief. 
 
 He heard her out, and when her voice died away 
 in a half sob, he followed her, and took her, this 
 time forcibly, in his arms. 
 
 " You say the truth," he answered her. " You tried 
 to keep out of my way and I would not let you ; but 
 how should I have guessed that you wanted to escape 
 
 164
 
 NOK ALL YOUE TEARS 
 
 rne? How could I guess that this hideous barrier 
 would rise up between us? You were the one woman 
 in all the world for me I realised that, I think, in our 
 first meeting. You filled my dreams asleep and my 
 thoughts awake. Life, that had been a little dull, 
 singularly useless to me, grew full of interest, full of 
 sweetness, full of joy and hope, because of you, 
 because of a possible future for us together. Was it 
 likely that I should heed what might have been your 
 caprice of the moment, and let you pass out of my 
 life altogether ? Was it likely that I should let you 
 go without a struggle to win and keep you? You 
 were alone, and so was I. Your life, I thought, had 
 been very empty, and so, for different reasons, had 
 been mine. I told you once that I was jealous of 
 those old ladies who gave you so little love, I was 
 jealous of the very servants who had the right to be 
 near you. In all the world I wanted only you alone 
 apart, life was but half life ; together, what might not 
 the world hold for you and me ? Love I had never 
 known and scarcely believed in. No living woman 
 had ever entered my life to whom I would have 
 surrendered it, till you brought me thoughts of a love 
 the world might hold for me, of a love truer, purer, 
 holier than passion only. You say the truth when 
 you say I should love you madly, but not when you 
 say I should doubt you. If you were my wife I 
 should believe in and trust you, I should give into 
 your keeping fearlessly my honour ; but I tell you, 
 memory would never die within me the memory of 
 that other it would murder peace. You would be 
 my wife, and I should remember always that you had 
 belonged once to another ; you would be the mother 
 of my children, and I should fancy I saw the light of 
 another man's eyes in theirs. When you lay asleep 
 
 165
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 in my arms, I should wake to remember that otiier 
 arms had sheltered you ; when you awoke on my 
 heart, I should remember that another heart had 
 pillowed your head. God ! could we live through the 
 torture of it, either you or I ? You roused in me all 
 that was best and truest, you gave me the power to 
 love can you not give me the power, too, to forget ! " 
 
 His voice had sunk to a whisper, his arms held her 
 with unconscious force, his eyes looked down into 
 hers with a longing prayer. " To teach him to forget!" 
 The words sent the hot blood to her face. It came to 
 her that the power lay with her : if he would but let 
 her use it, the power certainly lay with her. With the 
 whole faith and devotion of her life, with all the tender 
 passion of her heart that answered every beat of his, 
 with such love as she would give him, he would he 
 must forget 
 
 In another land, in a world of their own, if once he 
 gave himself up wholly to love, she would teach him 
 to forget The words that would tell him so trembled 
 on her lips, yet something within her seemed to hold 
 them back. Even in this moment, when all life's 
 happiness seemed to be fading from her sight, when 
 all that made life worth living was going from her, 
 she could not seem to plead with him for herself. 
 
 She drew his face down closer to her own, the 
 loosened waves of her hair brushed his eyes, while 
 into her own, deep with trouble, humid with tears, 
 there came that light of victorious challenge with 
 the sorcery of which she had mocked many, that 
 touch of knowledge of her own power to sway men's 
 hearts that had served her but ill. Of her own will 
 she lifted her mouth to his. 
 
 " Could you bear separation now ? What need to 
 remember anything save that I am yours ? " 
 
 166
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 The words in their caressing softness rose to them, 
 but never passed her lips ; they never became a 
 sound that stole on his ear. Instead, the tenderness 
 of her touch, the warmth of her caress, the whole 
 mute despair with which she clung to him, seemed 
 to breathe a farewell, to tell him silently that she 
 knew as well as he that there was nothing left to 
 them but separation. And he held her clasped to 
 his breast as he might have held a woman loved and 
 dying ; he pushed back the roughened hair from her 
 forehead, and looked down deep into her eyes eyes 
 that seemed clear and true as the stars, that answered 
 his with nothing but the love that he had longed 
 to read in them, yet that now brought him keenest 
 misery. 
 
 In that moment it came to him that forgetfulness 
 might be commanded more easily than he had 
 allowed himself to believe ; in that moment a subtle 
 tempting wove itself around him; n that moment, 
 with her heart beating out its misery on his, with 
 the perfection of her beauty that might be his own 
 held close within his arms, with the past thrust 
 behind, and only the sweet, delirious joy of the 
 future of the future she could give him if he would 
 before his eyes, the taint on her soul was forgotten, 
 the longing of his own alone remembered. 
 
 His strength was failing him, and he put her from 
 him so that her heart no longer beat on his, so that he 
 might read the despair in her eyes no more. 
 
 He went to the other side of the room. He stood 
 by one of the little tables, unconsciously fingering 
 the trifles which lay upon it They consisted of a 
 small heap of Valerie's belongings, which Marshall 
 or his wife had evidently unearthed from some 
 forgotten corner during her absence from home a 
 
 167
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 work-basket, a piece of unfinished sewing, a few 
 books, and a large leather blotter bulging open with 
 papers that had been crammed into it. 
 
 Wingate's fingers moved restlessly over its smooth 
 surface ; his eyes, deep with thought, stared down 
 upon it without taking heed of what lay beneath his 
 touch. Then after a long pause he turned to her 
 with a movement of passionate entreaty, answering 
 his own question that she had left unanswered. 
 
 "We could not live through the torture of it! 
 Here, with you, I am weak ; I have no strength 
 for the temptation your presence brings to me, but 
 yet, if I were chained to the spot, I could not feel 
 more powerless to take farewell of you, to leave 
 you now, perhaps because I know that when we 
 say good-bye they must be the last words that 
 ever pass between us. We cannot part as men and 
 women part every day because they have tired, 
 because they do not care, because they have quarrelled, 
 because one has wronged the other; oh, because of 
 a thousand common things, for numberless ordinary 
 reasons. Ours is no common case ; and though, 
 for your peace and mine, because I fear memory 
 more than death, we are doomed to live our lives 
 apart, I cannot go out of your life now without 
 knowing something of what your future is likely to 
 be. You must see I am right, you " 
 
 She made a gesture to silence him, and he another 
 of still more passionate entreaty. She had come 
 a little nearer to him, and he, as he turned 
 towards her, caught the edge of the blotter he had 
 been fingering, with an awkward movement which 
 sent it to the ground, and scattered the letters within 
 upon the floor. 
 
 He stooped impatiently to restore them to order, 
 1 68
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 and a little smothered cry left Valerie's lips. In- 
 voluntarily her hand went out to arrest his ; 
 instinctively, jealously, Wingate's surprised eyes 
 left her white face to look down upon that on which 
 her intent gaze was fixed. 
 
 There, under his hand, lay a sheet of thick paper, 
 at the top of which was stamped a familiar address. 
 Almost unconsciously he lifted it from its scattered 
 companions, and then deliberately his eyes read 
 the few short words written boldly upon it. 
 
 " Most Dear, Only just returned. With you this 
 evening about six. All my love. C. B." 
 
 The date was half a dozen months old. 
 
 The letter fell from Wingate's hand as though it 
 was hot. He raised his head with a quick, savage 
 movement, as a man might who had been struck 
 full in the eyes. His hands closed upon her wrists 
 and held her with unconscious violence. All the 
 tenderness had died out of his face ; a hideous 
 conviction had come on him ; and his voice rang 
 hoarse through the silence, while his eyes went with 
 a contemptuous glance to the letter that now lay 
 between them at her feet. 
 
 " Cuthbert Brabazon ! That man ! I said to you 
 just now that I did not know the circumstances of 
 of the truth that you have told me ... I do not 
 need to now ! Brabazon ! That man ! Tell me 
 tell me. Not even my own sight will I believe 
 against your word, if you will say . . . God ! Is it 
 true that you were once . . . his ? " 
 
 She bent her head. No sound passed her lips ; 
 but he saw the pallor of death overspread her face, he 
 heard her breath come heavily, and felt her hands 
 grow like ice. And he knew that her eyes would not 
 
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 meet his. Then his hold loosened upon her, and 
 she stood alone. 
 
 " Why would you wait ? " she said suddenly, wearily. 
 " Why would you wait ... for this ? Why did you 
 wait that I might know contempt had stepped in to 
 tell you that forgiveness and forgetfulness were 
 utterly impossible ? " 
 
 There was terrible meaning, terrible calmness in the 
 hopelessly spoken words. There was equally terrible 
 meaning in the way her eyes went to the door. 
 Hardly knowing what he did, Wingate turned. She 
 saw him reach the door, his hand close upon the knob; 
 in another moment she would have looked her last 
 upon him. At the next clock-tick she was at his side, 
 her hands clasped heavily on his arm. 
 
 "Not like that not like that!" she cried wildly. 
 " I would not wrong you with a lie ... I gave you 
 all the truth ! Give me at least a little pity ..." 
 
 He took her hands from his arm with the uncon- 
 scious violence of suffering. He shut his eyes to the 
 sight of her quivering lips and tear-stained cheeks, 
 his ears to the pleading of her low, despairing voice. 
 
 He put her away from him with deliberation that 
 seemed to turn her to stone. And then, without 
 another look upon her face, he turned and left her. 
 
 Valerie listened breathlessly to the click of the 
 latch, to his quick footfall on the stairs, to Marshall 
 opening and closing the hall door, to the steps on the 
 pavement below, dying away rapidly in the distance. 
 
 And suddenly a foolish, mirthless laugh left her 
 lips ; and then a single cry rang through the silent 
 room, the desolate cry of a breaking heart. And 
 the woman stretched out her arms to the empty air, 
 and fell forward like one dead, before the closed door. 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XVIII 
 
 WING ATE never remembered what hap- 
 pened immediately after he left Valerie 
 Drummond's house ; he forgot the 
 hour, the whole of his surroundings. 
 He awoke at last to the knowledge that he was the 
 object of everyone's attention, that the shades of 
 evening had already fallen, that everywhere lights 
 were twinkling forth. 
 
 He found himself walking swiftly up Oakley Street, 
 then, to the right, along the King's Road. Presently, 
 perhaps because it presented for the moment a less 
 busy appearance, he turned and headed for Sloane 
 Street, and made his way onward, aimlessly, without 
 any particular object in allowing his footsteps to lead 
 him this way. 
 
 A shout roused him ; his own name called out from 
 a little distance behind, and the voice that called it, 
 to the accompaniment of the slamming open of cab 
 doors, growing rapidly nearer. 
 
 " Wingate ! Woa pull up on the right ! " And 
 Wingate looked round to find a horse's head almost 
 on his shoulder, and in the hansom behind it, Cuthbert 
 Brabazon waving his stick violently. 
 
 "Ton my word," he said, leaning far forward, 
 " you looked as though you might be thinking you 
 were the only creature on the earth this night." 
 
 "Did you yell like a fireman, and have your 
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 horse nearly sitting on the pavement, to tell me 
 that?" 
 
 They were the only words that Wingate's lips 
 could frame something meaningless was all he had 
 power to say, while he put out his hand and rested 
 it on the shaft with an unconscious movement of 
 detention, while heaviness left mind and body, while 
 the blood suddenly coursed through his veins in little 
 stinging leaps, while his eyes brightened, and his 
 shoulders grew set and square, and the hand that 
 still rested close to the horse clenched hard upon the 
 shaft 
 
 The men's eyes met There was that in Wingate's 
 sudden eagle glance which brought a puzzled frown 
 to the other's forehead, a flame of passionate hatred, 
 of deadly purpose that, though he was no coward, 
 had the effect of making Brabazon shift uneasily 
 on the edge of the seat 
 
 " What the devil is up ? " he inquired. " Upon my 
 soul, Wingate, you're the most beastly bad-tempered 
 chap I know ! If I'm hindering you, say so, and I'll 
 get out, but . . ." 
 
 "On the contrary, we are well met. I almost 
 think I must have been intending to seek you out 
 when I came this way. I know that, for the first 
 time in my life, I am powerfully glad to see you. 
 Your rooms are only in Knightsbridge, I think? 
 We'll go there." 
 
 Brabazon leant back, his easy laugh broken upon 
 by the order Wingate was giving, his languid eyes 
 searching the set white face curiously. 
 
 "Gone mad, or been drinking!" was his inward 
 comment, while he rested his arms lightly on the 
 closed doors, and maintained the silence that his 
 companion seemed loth to break. And all the time
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 he was conscious of the flame in Wingate's eyes, of 
 the quiver of his whole body, of the heavy breaths 
 that he could hear coming short and sharp. 
 
 " Now," said Brabazon, when they had entered his 
 rooms, and when they stood alone, facing each other. 
 "What's the row? You're in a deuce of a rage 
 about something, Wingate, and you look as wild- 
 eyed and worn as though you had not slept for a 
 week. What were you after me for ? " 
 
 " I am here to tell you presently. Meantime, I 
 return the question." 
 
 " Oh ! I only just happened to catch sight of you 
 as I was driving here, and I thought you might be 
 able to tell me something I want to know concerning 
 Pat . . ." 
 
 " Whose name, as you are well aware, I will never 
 utter to or hear uttered by you." 
 
 " Oh, hang your virtuous airs regarding my wife ! 
 Who the deuce are you to sit in judgment upon 
 me? And what part of your business is the affair 
 anyhow ? " 
 
 " She happens to be a woman who has my deepest 
 affection and respect . . ." 
 
 Brabazon interrupted by a savage oath. 
 
 "Well, let her have it," he said. "I'm sure I'm 
 not grumbling. But don't give yourself airs about 
 it, and don't start trying to bully me about her. 
 You're not Delmar, you know, old chap. Her 
 honour the protection of her name I fancied," with 
 an insulting shrug, "that those were his affair. . . . 
 Oh, sit down ! and keep your fists in your pocket. 
 Do you fancy I'm going to let you come up here 
 and quarrel about Pat with me ! I only wanted to 
 ask you, as you've been staying at Delmar yourself, 
 if you'd seen anything of her at Dolly's. She went 
 
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 off from town in a huff, and did not leave any 
 address behind. For a wonder, I want her. If 
 you don't choose to tell me, don't it makes little 
 difference." 
 
 Wingate made no reply. After the first involuntary 
 step he had taken in Brabazon's direction, at the 
 mention of Pat's name, he stood still, his shoulders 
 against the mantelpiece, his hands tightly clenched. 
 His eyes never left Brabazon's face, it might have 
 been doubtful if he had heard a word. 
 
 " It is for Pat's sake," he said at last, " that you 
 have escaped so long. It is behind her determina- 
 tion that she will have no scandal that you have 
 sheltered too long. Mine is not the right to protect 
 her from you, though the longing has been mine 
 always. I am here to speak of another ..." 
 
 "Another woman!" interrupted Brabazon, in a bored 
 voice. " Oh, Lord ! let me alone about women ! I 
 say," suddenly rising from the sofa on which he had 
 thrown himself a moment before, "do I begin to 
 see daylight? Do I understand the meaning of 
 your tragic tones, and your terrible looks? What 
 an extraordinary chap you are, Wingate! What 
 have I done? Made love to something uncon- 
 sciously that is your special property ? " 
 
 " Have you ever heard the name of Valerie 
 Drummond ? " 
 
 Brabazon started as though he had been shot. 
 For one second his eyes fell before the intent, piercing 
 look of those that never left his face. But only for 
 a second. He recovered himself instantly ; a light 
 sneer came to his lips, the old weary expression to 
 his eyes. 
 
 "Little Val?" he questioned. "Why, what do 
 you know of her ? If she's anything to you now, for
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 goodness' sake don't come here raking up the past to 
 bully me about ! Jove ! I'd forgotten her. There's 
 nothing for you to be so thundering jealous about 
 if she was mine once. . . . Good Lord ! Wingate, you 
 haven't married her . . . ? " 
 
 The words had hardly passed his lips before 
 Wingate's grasp was upon him, relentless, merciless. 
 His face was livid, his eyes burning. He forced him 
 back in an iron grasp, and shook him from side to 
 side as he might have shaken a dog. Then he 
 dragged him to the opposite side of the room, and 
 took from the wall a riding-whip ; and while he held 
 Brabazon there, powerless, in the grip of one hand, 
 he seemed to hear the vows of love that had been 
 breathed by him into Valerie's ears, he seemed to 
 see the caresses that had touched her eyes and hair, 
 and met her lips. 
 
 " You are too low to be taught the meaning of 
 honour and dishonour, you are too low to be 
 punished even as one would punish the most miser- 
 able, sneaking cur " 
 
 The words died in his throat ; rage gave him 
 strength of which he was unconscious ; the whip 
 came down upon Brabazon's face and shoulders with 
 such violence that at last snapped it in two. Then 
 Wingate threw him to the other side of the room, 
 where he lay across the hearth, stunned, senseless. 
 
 In answer to Wingate's touch upon the bell, 
 Brabazon's man appeared. 
 
 " Attend to your master," he was ordered curtly. 
 " If any desire to hear of me, that is my address," 
 and throwing down a card before the amazed servant's 
 eyes, he walked quietly out of the room. 
 
 The man stood where Wingate left him, looking 
 down on the form of his master that was not a very 
 
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 pleasant sight He did not attempt to touch him 
 for a moment; and then he bent down, with his ear 
 close to Brabazon's lips, his hand above his heart. 
 
 " Not me ! " he muttered, as if in answer to 
 Wingate's order. " He's best left to come to by 
 himself, and think nobody's the wiser for what has 
 happened, else there'll be no living in the same 
 house with him for the next week ! " 
 
 The man looked down on the prostrate form for 
 still another minute, listened to the laboured breaths, 
 felt again the beating of the heart, and then, with 
 an expression of something like contempt on his 
 hard face, turned and left the room softly, drawing 
 the door firmly to behind him. 
 
 When Brabazon rose from that fall it was half an 
 hour later. The room was but dimly lighted, and 
 there was not a sign of anyone near. All things 
 were blurred before his sight, but with an uncertain 
 movement he groped his way to a small side table, 
 from which he lifted a decanter of brandy with an 
 unsteady hand. 
 
 The dose which he poured out was a heavy one, 
 but it brought warmth to his chilled body. Presently 
 he remembered all that had happened, and savage 
 anger took the place of dull bewilderment He 
 looked round the room again. With a long, satisfied 
 sigh he realised that he was quite alone, and thought 
 it probable that he had been alone since the moment 
 of Wingate's departure. Then Brabazon looked at 
 his watch. Scarcely an hour had passed since both 
 men had entered these rooms together. This was 
 better than he had even dared to hope. Not a soul 
 knew of the thrashing he had just received that he 
 did not dare revenge not even his man, most likely. 
 
 He moved, with more certain step now, to the 
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 NOR ALL YOUE TEAKS 
 
 window, which he threw open. He switched off the 
 lights, and then he threw himself down into a big 
 chair and leant his aching head against the cushions, 
 while instinctively his fingers traced the livid weals 
 across his face, and his memory flew back to Valerie 
 Drummond, to the real object of Wingate's presence 
 here to-day. Brabazon had not spoken the truth 
 when he told Wingate that he had forgotten Valerie ; 
 he had remembered her as he had never yet re- 
 membered any woman ; he had striven to find her 
 as he had never yet striven to find anyone or 
 anything; he had regretted her loss, and missed 
 her as he had regretted and missed none ; and now 
 he forgot the chastisement he had suffered, in the 
 memory that even through that punishment the 
 means of tracing her might be placed in his hands. 
 
 " The world's but a nut-shell after all ! " he reflected. 
 "I'll swear she never knew Wingate in my day. 
 They've met since, the transfer of her affections was 
 easy of accomplishment, and if he's married her, 
 well, they've lost no time. But somehow I doubt 
 it I ought to be able to find her now. Let me 
 see . . . Wingate seems to suggest Delmar but 
 they couldn't have met there . . . almost impossible. 
 I wonder where he came from to-day? He does 
 not live anywhere near here . . . it's not altogether 
 impossible that he should have come from Chelsea. 
 And he was in a devil of a rage, and was searching 
 for me when I obligingly turned up or said so." 
 
 He sat still for many minutes, deep in thought, 
 fighting for the memory of every little word that 
 had passed between Wingate and himself, his brain 
 active, though his body was still almost with the 
 stillness of stupor. 
 
 And by and by he rose to his feet, and was just 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 about to switch on the lights and study himself in 
 the mirror, when the door opened. 
 
 " Beg pardon, sir," said his man, lying beautifully, 
 " I did not know you were at home, sir. Shall I give 
 any orders about dinner, sir or " 
 
 " No," returned Brabazon. turning to face him in 
 the full confidence that his features could not be seen. 
 " And I'm not going out. I think I shall go to bed 
 to-night for a change. You can prepare me a hot 
 tub now, Lessing a very hot one and quite the 
 last thing, you may leave some iced soup in here, in 
 case I fancy it Oh, and no matter what happens, I 
 am not to be disturbed." 
 
 " I understand, sir." 
 
 Ten minutes later Brabazon went through to his 
 sleeping apartment and turned all the lights high. 
 
 He was not pleasantly reflected in his mirror ; the 
 beauty of the careless, handsome face was greatly 
 marred, and the loss of his beauty was as serious 
 to Brabazon as it would have been to any lovely 
 woman. But he did not shirk examination of the 
 darkened features, of the heavy eyes no longer 
 languid, tender, full of conscious power. He passed 
 his hand again and again over his face, and he spoke 
 to his own image in a whisper. 
 
 "Little Val I might make you pay for these 
 marks, ... it would be worth a dozen making him 
 pay for them, and it would be in a way that, if he 
 really loves you, would go home to his heart with a 
 more stinging cut than his cursed whip went home to 
 my flesh I" 
 
 178
 
 NOE ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 XIX 
 
 A SCORCHING summer's night, a heavy 
 mist hanging over all the city, a narrow, 
 badly lighted, gloomy street, with small 
 houses of the lower "lodging" type on 
 one side, and dingy, cheap flats on the other 
 flats where all the windows stood wide open, and 
 many of the sills were decorated with jugs or basins 
 put out to cool and down the street a woman 
 moving languidly. 
 
 From behind the open windows there came to her 
 ears various sounds of music, of laughter, of the 
 clatter of china, the jingle of glass, the hiss of some- 
 thing frying fiercely in a pan. It was all familiar to 
 her, as familiar as the occupants of the building 
 which she now entered. Artists, musicians, models, 
 actresses, dancers, a few who gave instruction 
 all unknown, all fighting for the. bare means of 
 livelihood. 
 
 She rather dragged herself than walked up the 
 long flights of stone stairs to the very top floor ; and 
 there she paused to put her key into the right-hand 
 door. 
 
 Shouts of welcome, perhaps a little impatient, rose 
 to greet her. 
 
 "Back at last! What a time you've been, Val! 
 Bogie was on the point of fetching you ! " 
 
 Miss Drummond laughed down upon the speakers, 
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 much as a mother might laugh down on a noisy 
 crew of children. There were three of them, men 
 one lying idly at full length on a cane sofa, another 
 correcting manuscript, the third at the piano. 
 
 " I am late," she admitted contritely, " Valdor was 
 hard to please to-day, or I was stupid. Then that bit 
 of storm came up and spoilt the light, and he lost his 
 temper a little, and bah ! we spent half the sitting 
 quarrelling." 
 
 One took her hat, another her gloves, and the man 
 who had been at the piano, and silent, came forward 
 and pressed her back into the only good chair the 
 room boasted. Then he went to the sideboard and 
 poured out a glass of rich red wine from a bottle that 
 was light enough to bring a soft sigh to his lips. 
 
 " Your head aches ? " he asked, as he put the glass 
 into her hand. 
 
 M Very little the storm, you know, and the heat. 
 It has been a horrible day. How you spoil me!" 
 swallowing the wine gratefully, and looking over the 
 rim of the glass with lovely tired eyes into his kind, 
 anxious face. 
 
 " Don't ! * he pleaded, pushing her chair with her in 
 it to the farther window, and seating himself on the 
 inner ledge. " Don't Spoil you ! I can't stand 
 much more of this, Val I can't see you dying by 
 inches before our very eyes. I won't If only," 
 moving restlessly, " I can put this work through, if I 
 can get Crampton's ear for an hour, and make him 
 listen to it himself if he'd accept it even for a distant 
 date, and give me something on account, I'd bundle 
 you off to the sea in double quick time." 
 
 " Old goose ! " Valerie smiled, but the great tears 
 were in her eyes, tears of gratitude and love, and 
 miserable weakness. " You persist in thinking me ill 
 
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 because I have a white face all red-headed people 
 have ! and you talk as though I were unhappy." 
 
 "And you are." He glanced across the long room, 
 but one of the men had gone out, and the other was 
 deep in his work. " Do you think I have not known 
 it since the first hour of your life here, since the first 
 day you came . . ." 
 
 " Four months ago." 
 
 " Four months of torture, of life that has offended 
 you at every turn; four months of hidden, silent 
 revolt" 
 
 " You are unjust to yourselves," she began. 
 
 " I am not. We love you, but we've got to watch 
 you work. We'd screen you if we could, but we're so 
 hopelessly powerless such poor struggling beggars. 
 We can't shut our eyes to the fact that the best part 
 of your days is spent half clothed in draughts half 
 starved . . . God'! don't you see what the torture of 
 that is to us to those who owe almost all to dear old 
 Drummy." 
 
 " And can't you see that I ought to be more at 
 home here than anywhere? Was not all my youth, 
 were not all my happiest days spent in such a life as 
 this?" 
 
 "No; they were spent among us; but the hard times 
 you were too young to understand, you'd your father 
 then, and during the years that alone count with you 
 you have known every luxury." 
 
 He spoke truth, and Valerie knew it during the 
 only years that counted with her she had known only 
 happiness and luxury. He spoke the truth the last 
 four months had been months of torture, of slowly 
 fading health, of hidden, silent revolt. But she would 
 not admit it to this man, one of the three who had 
 stretched out welcoming, helping hands to her, one of 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 the three who had been her father's special favourites, 
 and who, when their turn had come, hailed it proudly, 
 and threw wide their door to her. 
 
 "You are unjust to yourselves," she repeated, "and 
 if it is in your mind that you owed father a debt of 
 gratitude, you may rest assured you are the only 
 three who have tried to pay it, and you have paid it 
 a thousand times in your care of me." 
 
 He shook his head dubiously. "You wouldn't I 
 suppose you couldn't go back to to those old 
 women, your aunts ? " 
 
 Valerie leant back in the chair without answering 
 for several moments, and the man saw that her face 
 went, if possible, whiter, that a little spasm of acute 
 pain passed over it, and that her breast heaved 
 unevenly with shortly-drawn breaths. 
 
 " Forgive me ! " he said swiftly. " And don't, for 
 heaven's sake, think that we want you to go. I 
 know it must have been bad enough there, they ..." 
 
 She silenced him with a little gesture, which he 
 obeyed, because he knew that she was distressed. 
 
 " The fault was not theirs, and you must not blame 
 them," she said presently. " Because I came to you 
 immediately after leaving them, because I was 
 unhappy and without friends, you must not think it 
 was their fault. You know I left them to take a 
 post which they had found for me, and, you know," 
 with a little smile, "that I never took it! I came 
 here instead. I went away to a new home, and 
 perhaps you think I forgot you all, but it was not so. 
 I I cannot explain fully after all it does not 
 matter much but when I went to the home they 
 father's sisters offered me, it was because I wanted 
 to start anew in life. I I had good reason. I 
 wanted to leave my old world behind not because 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 I did not love it and go out into a fresh one. 
 And it was a failure. Fate was not good to me. 
 I tried to do what was right, and I meant to be true, 
 but right and truth cut the ground from under 
 my feet, and left me how much done, how wholly 
 deserted you know. And I came to you, and, as 
 I knew you would, you held out your hands to me, 
 without a thought of why I came, without a question. 
 Well, you've made life endurable, you've saved me 
 from I dare not think what; and you've let me 
 work among you and with you, and helped me to 
 laugh with you at adversity, and make merry over 
 a crust as we did in the old days when luck was 
 down for father. Don't spoil it by letting me think 
 I distress you, that I am a worry to you ; and don't 
 ever speak again of of sending me away. I'll 
 work with you and share with you, but I'll not see 
 you sacrifice your work to the first wily bidder, 
 just that you may get the means of providing un- 
 necessary luxuries for me. Remember that, Bogie; 
 if you do, I swear that I don't budge from here, 
 and what you bring me I'll pitch out of the window." 
 
 The man was silent He had watched every 
 varying expression of her face while she had been 
 speaking, he had listened intently to every inflection 
 of her soft voice. Always he had suspected a sorrow 
 at her heart, which she would for ever hide there, 
 in these last few minutes he had become sure of it 
 He fell to wondering, but he was not going to ruin 
 her confidence in him by letting her think that he 
 wonde/ed. 
 
 " I wish you were stronger," he said lamely. 
 
 "Poof! I tell you it is the colour of my skin 
 that makes you fancy I am ill." 
 
 Then she got up and moved lightly about the 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 room, and hummed little snatches of song, as though 
 to prove to him that her heart was gay. 
 
 " Where have they gone ? " she asked presently, 
 nodding to the empty places where the other men 
 had been sitting. 
 
 " I'm not quite sure, but they both spoke of being 
 late." 
 
 " And you ? " 
 
 " I'm going to talk over this business with 
 Crampton's people, and let them hear the second act," 
 pointing to the sheets of an unfinished score. 
 
 " And don't part with it for nothing, Bogie. The 
 music is all right they won't match it easily, but in 
 my opinion it is the book that wants polishing up." 
 
 " I believe you're right, Val. You won't sit up ? " he 
 added, putting the score together, and wrapping it in 
 a sheet of well used brown paper. 
 
 " No, indeed ! If the boys even hint at being late, 
 and you are going to play the second act, I know it 
 means five to-morrow morning. I shall hope to be 
 thinking of breakfast then." 
 
 She fetched his hat out of the little hall, passed her 
 handkerchief round the band, and then went with him 
 to the door, her arm linked in his. Then with a 
 hearty wish for good luck, she watched him down the 
 stairs. 
 
 Her room was at the opposite side of the landing, 
 separate from the flat; but she did not go into it. 
 She went back, instead, to the big room she had just 
 left, and looked down with a little smile upon the 
 litter that the men had left behind. Only her fingers 
 might gather up sheets of music paper, only she 
 might arrange the scattered bits of a particular 
 chapter, only her hands could move palette and brush 
 without damage. And now she set to work upon the 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 rather thankless task of tidying up, moving slowly as 
 one heavy with fatigue, yet glad of occupation. 
 
 All that " The Bogie " had said to her just now was 
 fresh in her mind, all the truth, and hopelessness, and 
 the misery of it. Every day, every hour told her 
 more surely that all her old bravery was gone, that 
 there was no life, no spirit in her wherewith to fight 
 the present, from which she might gain courage to 
 look into the future. 
 
 The never-ceasing pain at her heart, the ever- 
 present futile regret, the memory of all that might have 
 been hers, and all that she had lost, had told pitilessly 
 upon her during these long summer days. She knew 
 that her health was failing, and she hailed its failure 
 gladly. Of what use to her was life ? She had aided 
 its ruin at the outset; she would have to pay the 
 price of her folly until her last hour should come. 
 
 And more than ever, to-night, she wished that that 
 hour might be near. 
 
 Her task over, she drew near to the open window, 
 lifting her face to the haze above in a vain endeavour 
 to catch a breath of air. On the right someone was 
 singing, well, but with the monotonous repetition of 
 the same four bars, in hard practice. From below 
 there came to her offended nostrils the smell of 
 sausages briskly frying. In a room opposite, a baby 
 cried incessantly ; and down in the street a dog, that 
 had been shut out, whined at intervals. 
 
 Valerie threw out her arms wildly, as though she 
 had no room to move, no space in which to breathe. 
 Life was so empty, so hideous, so sordid. With 
 deception she might have purchased all that the world 
 would envy her, she might have bought at least a 
 few months, perhaps a year or two of joy joy for 
 even a year of which a woman might have given 
 
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 NOE ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 her soul. She might have bought it, and she 
 have given it with deception. With truth, with 
 honesty she had wrecked her own life and another 
 that had been all hers to make or mar. Had she 
 marred it? Was it as wasted, as useless as hers? 
 Had he forgotten ? She tortured herself with the 
 hope that he had with the thought that forgetfulness 
 would be possible to him. 
 
 A flood of memory swept her back into the past ; 
 weakness and misery drove the tears to her eyes and 
 down her white cheeks. All the nights of the last 
 four months had been more than half spent in tears 
 that through the days she forced back, in weeping 
 that left her weary and unrefreshed when morning 
 came, and that she knew was powerless to wash out 
 the one hour that she would have put out of her life, 
 or at least out of memory. 
 
 And while her head rested limply upon her 
 outstretched arms, the baby opposite still cried on, 
 the dog below whined piteously, the woman 
 practised her scales with irritating persistence, and 
 though the sausages had ceased to frizzle, the smell 
 of their fat remained on the heavy air. 
 
 Life was indeed hideous and sordid. Truth was 
 folly, tears were unavailing. Perhaps she wept her 
 heart out for one who had already forgotten. Only 
 the thought of death held any hope ; and that might 
 be so far off. 
 
 A slight touch upon the bell roused her. It would 
 be quite a stranger who pressed it The inmates of 
 this flat had their keys, and their special calls or 
 whistles. Tradesmen did not come here even by 
 day, certainly not at night. 
 
 The bell sounded again, a little more impatiently; 
 and Valerie, dashing the tears from her eyes, and 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 remembering comfortably that the passage was 
 unlighted, went to the door. 
 
 A man stood there whose face she could not see. 
 
 " Miss Drummond ? " he inquired. 
 
 u Yes ; I am Miss Drummond." 
 
 A little cry of alarm left her lips as he stepped 
 boldly in, closing the door behind him, a little cry 
 that was repeated in the light of the room into 
 which she had swiftly backed, as she looked up 
 into eyes so well remembered, that smiled down into 
 hers now, tenderly, delightedly, triumphantly. 
 
 " Val ! " he said softly, taking her nerveless, 
 unresisting hands into his. " For half a year have 
 I tried in vain to find you for half a long, 
 miserable year, and pure accident, only to-day, gave 
 me a clue to your whereabouts. Val, have I 
 frightened you, or? . . ." 
 
 Then Valerie recovered her voice, and released 
 her hands, and stood well back from him, leaning a 
 little against the window casement for support 
 
 " I think you have made a mistake, Mr Brabazon," 
 she said coldly, but not at all calmly. 
 
 "And I know that I have done nothing of the 
 sort. I heard your name to-day, I heard that you 
 were living here, I came to find you, and I have 
 found you ! Be very sure you will not escape me 
 again be certain that no command, no plea of yours 
 will drive me out of your life a second time ! Val, 
 Val ! has your tender heart cherished anger against 
 me all these long months? I won't believe it I 
 won't believe it any more than I will believe that so 
 sweet a thing as our love is dead." 
 
 She stood before him, trembling, too weak to 
 move, not daring to trust her voice, the tears still 
 wet on her lashes and face, a short sob, like the sob
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 of a troubled child, catching her breath every now 
 and again. 
 
 Brabazon was at her side in a moment, he had 
 drawn her from the window, and with his usual 
 presence of mind dropped the blind. He held her 
 in an embrace from which, had she been in possession 
 of her full strength, it would have been useless to 
 try to escape, and he tilted her little worn face up 
 to the light, while he bent his own close to it, and 
 let his handsome, weary eyes mark carefully every 
 line that suffering had stamped upon it. 
 
 "What a little fool you've been, Val what a 
 little fool ! When with a word you could have 
 brought me to your side, you have chosen to live 
 in this den," casting a rapid, contemptuous glance 
 round the room, " to ruin your beauty, and pose for 
 Valdor at a few shillings a day ! Were you mad ? 
 Were you mad ? to hide from me when you knew 
 that I asked no more than to surround you with 
 every luxury, to fill your life with happiness and 
 love." 
 
 He brushed his lips over the loosened waves of 
 her hair, and over her half-closed eyes ; and then, 
 with a long sigh of satisfaction, would have laid them 
 to her own. With an enormous effort she threw her 
 head as far back as it would go, with her free hand 
 she covered her mouth ; but Brabazon only laughed, 
 and took away the weak little fingers and held them 
 round his throat, and kissed her lips at will. " The 
 one moment worth living," he said, when he lifted 
 his head at last, " since we parted." 
 
 But he spoke to deaf ears ; he realised that her 
 frail body had grown heavy in his hold, he saw that 
 her eyes were closed, and knew that she had lost 
 consciousness. 
 
 1 88
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " The devil ! " he muttered under his breath ; and 
 then, with something like horror, "she does not 
 weigh more than a kitten." 
 
 He put her down on the cane sofa, and pulled an 
 old pillow under her head. He knew she did not 
 live here alone, but from the moment of his entrance 
 he had not given a thought to whom he might meet 
 here. He concluded that he and she were, for the 
 moment at all events, sole occupants of this particular 
 flat ; and his eyes left her still form to search round 
 the room for cupboard or table where he might find 
 brandy. He searched in vain. Then he stepped 
 out into the passage and struck a match from his 
 pocket There were three doors opposite, and he 
 opened them one after another. They were doors 
 to bedrooms, all unmistakably the bedrooms of men. 
 At the end of the passage there was a kitchen, which 
 boasted little furniture, a sleepy cat, and a small 
 larder, quite empty. 
 
 Brabazon struck some more matches and swore 
 under his breath. He went back to the sitting-room 
 and found Valerie just as he had left her; and he fell 
 to gently chafing her cold hands. He would not leave 
 her, even in search of restoratives; the temptation 
 came to him to take her from here now, when it 
 would be without her knowledge, when she would be 
 powerless to resist him, but difficulties presented them- 
 selves to his mind that he saw no way of overcoming. 
 To send someone from below for a cab, and then to 
 walk down five flights of stairs with an unconscious 
 woman in his arms, would probably cause as great 
 a sensation as a fire. It was not to be thought of, 
 almost resistless as was the temptation. 
 
 He was beginning to grow impatient when Valeric 
 stirred. 
 
 tit
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Better, little girl ? " he asked cheerfully, and with 
 something in his voice that, in spite of herself, she 
 found as almost comforting. She struggled into a 
 sitting posture. 
 
 " I I am all right, please go." 
 
 He pressed her gently back as she would have 
 risen, and stood looking down at her. 
 
 " Look here, Val, I don't want to upset or worry 
 you I swear I don't I've never rested till I found 
 you, and you can't expect me to be calmly ordered out 
 of your presence now I have done so. But I wouldn't 
 make you unhappy for the world I wouldn't do 
 anything you didn't wish. I you were angry with 
 me just now, and I ought to have remembered that 
 you were not likely to forgive me at once. But I 
 swear, if you will just listen to me quietly, I won't 
 say another word to offend. I won't ask for one 
 kind word till you give me leave. I love you better 
 to-day than I ever loved you, and even though you 
 care no longer for me, you'll be just enough to 
 admit, giving one glance back into the past, that I've 
 the right to stand your friend. No, listen a moment 
 more. There are any amount of things I want to 
 say to you, that you would not give me a chance to 
 say when we parted, many things that you must 
 hear. But for heaven's sake let us get out of this. 
 The place is simply stifling to think of you in it ! 
 No wonder you're white as a lily and thin as its 
 stalk. Can't you put on a hat and come out for a 
 little while anywhere that isn't this place it is not 
 ten yet." 
 
 She put her hand up to bid him be silent 
 
 "I don't doubt, in fact I believe that you mean 
 well now," she said, getting to her feet and leaning 
 against the table, "but you don't understand. I 
 
 190
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 want nothing no friends other than those here. I 
 left your world and mine long ago, and all I ask now 
 is to be forgotten by it and you." 
 
 " That is sheer nonsense, Val. You did not leave 
 it I drove you from it. I've had six months of 
 misery and anxiety about you, and you owe it to me 
 to let me make what little amends I can now. Be 
 reasonable dear, I tell you I swear to you that I ask 
 nothing but to be your friend, to make your life a 
 little happier, a little easier. Don't try to tell me 
 you are content, because I won't believe it Don't 
 you suppose I can see that you are so ill you can 
 hardly stand ? Don't you suppose I know what you 
 must have gone through to come down to living in 
 this place and being Valdor's model ! Good God ! 
 if you were to die to-morrow I should feel like your 
 murderer." 
 
 She shook her head, not angrily but sadly. 
 
 " You don't understand," she said again. " If I died 
 I think my death would be at your door; whatever ill 
 had befallen me you would be to blame. Then, six 
 months ago, I thought you killed life, and love, and 
 hope, and belief in me. But you did not I wish you 
 had you only drove me to seek another world and 
 there I learnt that what I thought was dead in me 
 lived still, but that because of you, love and happi- 
 ness must pass me for ever on the other side." 
 
 " Ah ! " the single word left Brabazon's lips with 
 some tone in it that told her how fully he compre- 
 hended all her words conveyed, and he turned his 
 eyes from hers a moment, lest she should read too 
 much in them. And presently he moved nearer, and 
 stood before her very humbly. " Perhaps, after all, I 
 am more faithful than the rest," he said. "At least 
 my love is strong enough to make me regret the 
 
 191
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 wrong I did you, to fill me with the desire to atone, if 
 atonement be possible. At least it had been strong 
 enough to keep me at your side, not so weakly a 
 thing that I could be driven from you by a confession 
 that you and you alone could have made. It is a 
 poor love that holds no pardon." 
 
 She shuddered. It was her own thought a 
 thought continually forced aside put into words, and 
 words which somehow lessened her bitter resentment 
 against the speaker, and hardened her heart ever so 
 little against the man who had forsaken her. 
 
 "Val," he went on gently, quick to perceive his 
 advantage, slight though it might be, " I only ask you 
 to let me be your friend not for my sake but for 
 your own, I ask you to let me make the way a little 
 easier if I can ..." 
 
 " No ; I don't know how you found me here, but I 
 am sorry that you did." 
 
 "I want to tell you about that about many 
 things," he interrupted eagerly. " Won't you get 
 your hat now and come out? Good heavens! 
 You fainted just now, and there was nothing in 
 this wretched hole that I could get you. Will you 
 come away from it to-morrow, then ? Let me get 
 you rooms at a hotel. I swear I won't set foot in 
 them unless you bid me. Let me know, at least, 
 that you are well looked after, that . . ." 
 
 " Don't say any more. You mean well. I tell you 
 I believe that, but it is all useless. I do not wish to 
 leave here. I wish only that you will leave me now, 
 and that you will forget you have found me." 
 
 " And I tell you I can't do that. I won't." 
 
 She made a little gesture that expressed utter 
 weariness, utter hopelessness. 
 
 " Well, if you will not go, I shall," she said. " 1 
 193
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 leave you in possession of this room. When the 
 boys return you can explain your presence here." 
 
 And before he knew what she was going to do, 
 she had passed swiftly through the passage and out 
 on to the outer landing. But, quick as she was, he 
 was quicker, and he overtook her as she was about 
 to pass through a doorway on the other side. 
 
 " Val, listen I'll go now, this moment ; but 
 promise you will let me see you to-morrow." 
 
 "No." 
 
 " What is this place ? " thinking it better to argue 
 no further, and looking at the half-open door. 
 
 " These are my own rooms. Good-night." 
 
 " Well, let me come and see you here to-morrow . . ." 
 
 " No. Good-bye." 
 
 And she slipped through the narrow opening, 
 and closed the door, not roughly, but decidedly, in 
 his face,
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XX 
 
 THREE days passed without Brabazon 
 following up his visit by another, three 
 days through which Valerie lived with 
 ears strained for the sound of a strange 
 footfall on the stone landing outside, with eyes con- 
 tinually searching the narrow pavement immediately 
 below her own windows. 
 
 She knew well enough that Brabazon was not the 
 man to accept his dismissal easily. She did not 
 doubt his statement that he had spent six months 
 in an endeavour to find her. His efforts in that 
 direction might have been intermittent, the search 
 might have lost its interest after a time; but there 
 was sufficient obstinacy, determination, persistence 
 underlying his calm indolence to render him patient, 
 even in long waiting, for anything upon which he 
 set his heart and mind. 
 
 He had found her, whether by accident or through 
 careful search she neither knew nor cared, and, it 
 was not likely that he would be willing to pass out 
 of her life once more, simply because she had told 
 him to go, and had shut her door in his face. He 
 had found her, and he had not sought her again 
 since that night, three nights ago, nor sent her a 
 written word. 
 
 And another day and still another went by, till a 
 week had gone, but Valerie listened in vain. She 
 searched the street with troubled eyes, only to see 
 
 *94
 
 NOH ALL YOUR TEAES 
 
 her usual neighbours coming and going, and rarely 
 a stranger enter it from one direction or the other. 
 
 All peace there might have been in her life seemed 
 to have fled when once more she heard Brabazon's 
 voice, when again she had felt the touch of his hands 
 and his lips, when, after all these days, she and he 
 met, and she had read triumph and satisfaction and 
 passion, and something else that she could not under- 
 stand, in the eyes that could so well speak tender 
 meaning straight to a woman's heart. All peace 
 and rest had fled, just when she was beginning to 
 settle down wearily, apathetically, to the monotony 
 and the poverty and the dreariness of the life that 
 she had deliberately chosen. 
 
 Her " boys " looked at her under their eyelids in 
 ever-increasing fear ; they said in their own hearts 
 what they had not the courage to put into words, 
 even to each other. They said that she was dying by 
 inches, and making a brave fight to hide the fact from 
 them to the very last; and they thrust their hands 
 into their empty pockets, and let their eyes rest on 
 the work that swallowed up the colourless days, the 
 endless nights, the work that was always returned 
 after long delay that roused false hope, returned with 
 meaningless "Regrets," or tossed aside without a 
 glance, the work on which all their youth was spent, 
 and knew with only the bitterness that such 
 knowledge can hold, that they were powerless even 
 to try to save her. 
 
 Valerie was alone one evening when the "Bogie " 
 returned unexpectedly early. She heard him racing 
 up the stone stairs three at a time, she heard his 
 fingers fumble nervously with the latch of the door, 
 she caught the sound of his quickly-drawn breaths 
 as he entered the little passage ; and when he came
 
 NOR ALL YOUE TEAKS 
 
 into the room, she saw that it was with springing step, 
 with eyes alight, with trembling lips that he strove 
 hard, shamefacedly, to steady. His pockets were 
 bulging with parcels, under his arm was a neatly 
 packed box, in his hands flowers roses, carnations, 
 lilies, mignonette. He threw them into her lap, and 
 silenced her quickly before she could utter a protest. 
 
 " Don't scold, Val Ford bought that little duet I 
 did for him and his wife, and, what is more remarkable, 
 paid for it ! " he said, in simple explanation. 
 
 " Bogie ! That means a couple of pounds at the 
 utmost, and you have ..." 
 
 "Don't be insulting, Miss Drummond ! It meant 
 three pounds ten, and I've been reckless with it, I 
 admit! But that's not all the news I could afford 
 to be reckless. Little one, as sure as I'm a sinner I 
 believe the luck's turned ! " With a boyish laugh he 
 seated himself on the window sill and took one of her 
 little hands into his, while he smoothed the pallid 
 back of it with tender fingers. " I'll tell you all about 
 it it won't keep. I met Ford in Valdor's studio to- 
 day, when I dropped in to tell him you were not well 
 enough to turn up." 
 
 "He was annoyed ? " uneasily. 
 
 "No, only sorry. Well, I met Ford there; he 
 was at his wits' ends for a good duet for this piece 
 they're taking on tour. I humbly suggested one 
 of mine one that he'd snubbed me about. I played 
 it, put something into it that he and she will never 
 find in the copy; and, in short, made a hit. He 
 took it there and then, and paid. I orchestrate it ; 
 he finds the band parts. You know what Valdor 
 is when once he gets one at the piano, he kept me 
 there two hours, and at last I found that Ford had 
 disappeared, and some other chap had come in and 
 
 196
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 had been listening all the time. He was a very 
 decent sort of chap, too, and evidently a music lover. 
 He seemed particularly interested after he had got 
 at my name and address, and intimated that he 
 was on the look-out for the music for a good musical 
 comedy. Apparently he has the book cut and dried. 
 Valdor encouraged him to give me the commission, 
 but he did not seem to want much encouragement. 
 He said there could not be much delay about it ; 
 suggested possible terms that nearly stood my hair 
 on end, and made an appointment to come up here 
 to-night and hear some of my unrecognised work. 
 Too good an opportunity to miss, eh, Val? So 
 I asked him to come along about eight, but he'd an 
 engagement, and in the end we made it any time 
 after ten. I knew you'd not mind, little woman ..." 
 
 " Mind ! Oh, Bogie, if you only knew how glad 
 I am ! You're right, luck is changing, perhaps. 
 But I always said your music had only to be heard." 
 
 Bogie smiled. He took the flowers from her and 
 put them into two vases one close to her elbow, 
 and then he set himself to open the various packages. 
 
 "A bottle or two of whisky and a few cigars, 
 you know," he said, half apologetically. " Must not 
 let the fellow into the secret of our immediate 
 impecuniosity lowers prices at once. ' To him that 
 hath, etc.* And a little cold fodder in case we feel 
 the pangs of hunger before midnight Meantime 
 there are a few things in this parcel which you are 
 to consume by degrees yourself." 
 
 He dropped it into her lap as he spoke, and went 
 out of the room, perhaps to avoid thanks, perhaps 
 because he could not bear to see the tears filling 
 her sweet eyes. 
 
 Valerie sighed. She stared out on to the hot roofs 
 197
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 opposite, but there was a little touch of hope in 
 the smile that played about her mouth. If luck 
 had turned ! If, after all the long weary waiting, 
 the Bogie's talent was to be recognised at last, if 
 he was on the fair road to make his name and his 
 fortune ! 
 
 The long sultry evening crept slowly away. 
 Valerie made tea very late, and she and the Bogie 
 sat chatting over it while she helped him gladly to 
 build castles in the air. They were alone here 
 to-night, and they did not trouble about the lights. 
 
 The sun sank away below the horizon, the little 
 crescent of the moon rose clear in an opal sky. 
 Over the opposite house-tops Valerie watched it, 
 while the darkness gradually fell ; and against her 
 will her memory went back, as on such a night as 
 this it would fight its way back out of her control, 
 to the cliff path above her aunts' house, to the stretch 
 of sea before her, as it had been then, to the sombre 
 land behind, that had ever seemed like a shadow 
 creeping up to envelop her. 
 
 And over the sound of the melancholy wash of 
 the waves, above the high wind, there rose the sound 
 of Wingate's voice, not as she had heard it last, harsh 
 with suffering, bitter with disappointment, but as it 
 . came to her so often in her dreams, soft with tender- 
 ness that she alone ever heard it, lingering like a 
 caress on the utterance of her name. 
 
 She turned her white face to the shadow, and 
 clenched her hands in the folds of her dress till the 
 nails cut through it and into her palms ; and Bogie, 
 thinking she slept, crept softly about the room, 
 preparing it for the reception of his visitor to-night 
 
 But in her heart Valerie was praying wildly, sense- 
 lessly, " Oh, God, give me one hour, one day of his 
 
 198
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 love, of the happiness that was mine then, and let 
 me die ! " 
 
 The clock was striking nine when there was a 
 knock at the hall door. The Bogie hurried out to 
 open it, and Valerie rose from her reclining position 
 in the biggest chair in the room. There was a touch 
 of excitement upon her ; she felt that this might be 
 the turning-point in the life of one of her boys, and 
 it was consequently a moment of no mean importance. 
 
 She heard the Bogie's cheery greeting, she did not 
 catch any reply. Bogie was apologising for the 
 darkness, and explaining that the heat made gas 
 almost intolerable; and while he explained, he 
 brought the visitor straight towards Valerie's chair. 
 
 "Val, dear, this is Mr Brabazon," he said, "of 
 \vhom I have been telling you. Mr Cuthbert 
 Brabazon Miss Drummond. If you did not know 
 John Drummond the artist personally," he added, 
 "you must have known him by reputation. This 
 lady is his daughter." 
 
 Valerie blessed the darkness. She knew that if 
 she looked white in the faint light of the moon, it 
 would not be surprising. The scantily furnished 
 room, the figures of the men danced a jig before 
 her eyes ; everything was going round, and she was 
 clinging with her left hand to the back of her chair. 
 Her right one Brabazon had taken, and was holding 
 closely, fondly, in a clasp from which she was 
 powerless to extricate it 
 
 u This is indeed an unexpected pleasure," he said, 
 with evident delight " Long ago, perhaps so long 
 that she will not remember, I had the honour of 
 meeting Miss Drummond. Mr Dunbar," turning to 
 address the Bogie with a little laugh, "if you had 
 told me that, beside your delightful music, the 
 
 199
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 renewal of my acquaintance with Miss Drummond 
 awaited me, be very sure I should have been here 
 two hours sooner ! Ah, please do not light the gas 
 on my account If I may have a choice, I like this 
 light so much more than a glare, in so much heat, 
 anyhow. And I'll wager you want little light for 
 your work at the piano." 
 
 "Not much," agreed Bogie; but he was straining 
 his eyes to see Valerie, who still stood with her hand 
 in Brabazon's, and whose lips refused to form a 
 syllable. 
 
 "You had forgotten me," declared Brabazon, 
 releasing her fingers, and waiting till she sank into 
 her chair to be seated himself close by her. 
 
 " I am afraid I had," she forced herself to reply ; 
 and the Bogie experienced a momentary feeling of 
 keen disappointment He had counted so upon 
 Valerie. She was always so sweet and natural and 
 kindly to anyone of their friends, no matter whom 
 they might bring up to this room. She made all 
 welcome ; and now to this one man, whose good 
 opinion was worth winning, who might be of the 
 greatest help, who bid fair to be a friend indeed as 
 in need, she was icily cold. She had even known 
 him, but the Bogie could not blame her for not 
 telling him so when he remembered that he had not 
 mentioned Brabazon's name. To his great relief 
 it was plain that Brabazon was not in the least 
 offended, not in the least snubbed by her chilly 
 reply. He drew his chair a little closer, and at 
 once started a rather one-sided conversation with 
 her. And what Bogie did not know, but Valerie 
 did, was that the visitor was giving her time to 
 fully recover herself. What the Bogie did not see, 
 and Valerie did, was that a little smile of eyes and 
 
 200
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 mouth, a self-satisfied smile, was lighting up the 
 visitor's handsome features, and the sound of 
 merriment making itself pleasantly heard through 
 his very attractive voice. 
 
 "And now for the music, Mr Dunbar," he said. 
 "May I ask for that number which so delighted 
 Valdor to-day? That for the introduction; and 
 afterwards all three acts of this new work which I 
 very much look forward to having a share in." 
 
 Bogie went to the piano at once. He tried to 
 meet Valerie's eyes first, but failed utterly; and 
 then he lighted the small piano lamp, and com- 
 menced the opening bars of the little graceful air 
 that had pleased Valdor and Brabazon to-day. 
 
 The room was a large one ; it took up more than 
 half the little flat, indeed, and when once the Bogie 
 was safely at the piano, which stood in the corner 
 farthest from Valerie and the visitor, when once his 
 fingers were running with their firm, sure touch over 
 the keys, Brabazon leant forward, and under cover of 
 the semi-darkness, closed gentle fingers upon her 
 reluctant arm, under sway of the tender melody, 
 leant nearer to whisper in her ear. 
 
 " Did you think I had forgotten ? Did you fancy 
 that I had taken your last words to me in the spirit 
 you intended ? Why, I have been laying little plans 
 all through this week which have led to my presence 
 here to-night You wonder at it? You would not 
 let me tell you a week ago, and I cannot very well 
 now. Val, say where you will meet me to-morrow ? 
 Do. If you don't, I shall come here every day 
 and every night till you do. Dunbar and I are 
 tremendous friends already. I can be of any amount 
 of use to him, and he will not be likely to keep me 
 out of these rooms so . . ." 
 
 301
 
 NOB, ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 " Be quiet," she whispered back. 
 
 " Not till you have promised to meet me some- . 
 where to-morrow." 
 
 She leant farther back in the chair, keeping her 
 arm out of his reach now, and her eyes on the 
 Bogie's back. Argument was impossible; she felt 
 sure that Brabazon intended to make refusal almost 
 as impossible. She was trapped, cornered, powerless 
 to resist him unless she said or did something which 
 might rouse suspicion in young Dunbar's mind. 
 Moreover, it came to her that it would be as well 
 to get this interview which Brabazon insisted upon 
 over, once and for ever ; and, beyond that, it might 
 be well for her to know how and where he had 
 received information concerning her whereabouts. 
 
 " Very well, to-morrow," she said, still not looking 
 at him. 
 
 " Good little girl I Where what time ? " 
 
 She shrugged her shoulders with maddening 
 indifference, which he chose to turn instantly to his 
 own account 
 
 " I shall send the night brougham no, not here 
 to the corner of Oakley Street, the Embankment 
 end, at six o'clock. You can manage that little 
 walk, and the heat of the day will have died down 
 by that time." 
 
 Then, without giving her a moment in which to 
 reply, he got up abruptly and went over to the 
 piano. 
 
 As in a dream she heard his voice mingling with 
 the Bogie's, and little snatches of softly-played 
 music ; as though she looked at them through the 
 wrong end of a pair of opera-glasses, the men 
 appeared to her eyes far, far off; as if held down 
 by iron hands, she lay very still in her chair, 
 
 202
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 incapable of action of any sort. She seemed to 
 see through all Brabazon's plans ; she knew now 
 what she had never guessed, that he was a friend 
 of Valdor's ; she understood that he would be a 
 friend of the Bogie's before long, that he would 
 contrive to weave part of his life in with the life 
 she led with the boys here, that she could not shun 
 him without perhaps injuring at least the Bogie's 
 prospects. She knew that she had but to breathe 
 one word in young Dunbar's ear, and he would tear 
 up the score and fling it in Brabazon's face, before 
 he would enter into any business transaction with 
 him ; she knew she had but to let her eyes speak, 
 and the door of this, their poor little home, would be 
 slammed in Brabazon's face for ever, no matter at 
 what cost. And she knew that with only that end 
 in view she must ever keep silence. 
 
 After all, what was her life compared to theirs 
 the young, opening lives of her boys? Hers was 
 ruined, done with long ago theirs was but just 
 beginning. And it was Brabazon who would be 
 the means of starting young D unbar on the road 
 to fame. Truly, Fate had a grudge against her ; 
 truly, tortures long drawn out were to be her portion 
 through life. 
 
 And looking at the man leaning against the top 
 of the piano, looking back into the past, she told 
 herself, as she had told him once, that most of the 
 blame lay at her own door. 
 
 It was very late before Brabazon took his leave ; 
 and but that he kept almost strictly to business, that 
 he scarcely allowed Dunbar to leave the piano, and 
 that he talked a good deal himself, Valerie's silence 
 would have been remarkable. 
 
 When the door had closed behind him, and 
 203
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 Dunbar had called out a last good-night, the boy 
 came back into the room, a frown in his eyes, a 
 ring of real perplexity in his voice as he spoke to 
 Valerie. 
 
 "It amazes me," he declared, bringing his hand 
 down fiercely on the table. " How often have I 
 brought up here a poor little wretch that I may have 
 found in an attic starving, and you have been 
 sweetness and hospitality and kindness itself to him ; 
 and to-night I bring a man who is not only prepared 
 to give me work and pay handsomely for it, but one 
 who will be likely to fling me up the ladder of fame 
 two rungs at a time if the fancy but take him. 
 Heaven knows why or what his caprice but it is 
 there. And you turn from him as if he were the 
 scum of the earth, you hold aloof, you are barely 
 civil. Why ? In God's name, why? VaL" 
 
 She kept silence for a moment, then she took a 
 few steps which brought her close to him. 
 
 " I am sorry," she said. " I was dull, I own, but 
 I do not think you need fear it making any difference, 
 Bogie, I am not very well ..." 
 
 With a quick movement Dunbar seized one of the 
 candles and held it above her head ; the next 
 moment he had thrown both his arms round her. 
 
 "Val, forgive me what a brute what an utter 
 selfish brute I am ! Val ..." 
 
 She forced a laugh, she took his anxious, distressed 
 young face between both her cold little hands. 
 
 "Don't call yourself names. I shall be all right 
 to-morrow. And go to bed, Bogie, and dream that 
 you are climbing that ladder and fast reaching the 
 top!" 
 
 "You will have to see a doctor now, Val/' he 
 insisted 
 
 904
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " What ! A doctor ? Not I ! I prefer to see you 
 in the conductor's chair, and to hear the house yelling 
 your name from pit to gallery." 
 
 When he was alone, Dunbar threw himself down 
 in Valerie's chair. He thought over the day's work 
 with hope that he hardly dared to encourage, with 
 wonder that drove sleep away, with excitement that 
 set the blood tingling in his veins. 
 
 Luck had changed, fortune had come bis way, 
 perhaps, at last
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXI 
 
 VALERIE had her home almost entirely 
 to herself during the next day. Her 
 usual companions had business which kept 
 them away from mid day, and young 
 Dunbar's time was to be fully occupied throughout 
 the evening. 
 
 Valerie smiled to herself. She thought how like 
 Brabazon it was to provide against any chance of his 
 own plans meeting with interference. To the best 
 of his ability he had cleared the way for her, so that 
 she might be able to leave her home and keep her 
 appointment with him without comment and without 
 explanation. 
 
 When six was striking she drew up the blinds, left 
 a note on the table in case one of the boys should 
 arrive home before her, and then, simply drawing to 
 the door of the little flat, made her way down into 
 the street and through a few of the narrow back ones 
 leading to the Embankment 
 
 At the corner of Oakley Street she saw a waiting 
 brougham ; when she got nearer it was plain to her 
 that the servant occupying the box-seat was one well 
 known to her. 
 
 He moved the horse onward at a walk so that he 
 might meet her, and touched his hat respectfully, and 
 without the ghost of expression of any sort upon his 
 face. But Valerie, with annoyance, knew that the 
 colour had crept into her cheeks, 
 
 a 06
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 She opened the door of the brougham swiftly, felt 
 that it snapped to at scarcely a touch, and then that 
 she was being drawn rapidly through the streets. 
 It was a pleasant sensation. This mode of progres- 
 sion was so much more inviting than any she had 
 known during the last few months. It took her back 
 to her better days, and all the luxury that had been 
 hers ; and she was surprised to catch herself leaning 
 back with closed eyes, rather enjoying her journey 
 than experiencing the half indignation, half reluctance 
 that she told herself she ought to have experienced 
 now. 
 
 She guessed by the direction in which she was being 
 driven that she was being taken to Brabazon's rooms. 
 It was as well ; she would have gone to no public 
 place with him he knew that, perhaps, and she 
 would not walk about the streets with him like a 
 housemaid with a soldier. 
 
 A week or two ago she would have hesitated, most 
 likely declined, to see him at all ; but to-day, as all 
 through the last seven days, it seemed to her that 
 nothing mattered. It had only been when once more 
 Brabazon had come unexpectedly into her life that 
 she had realised how weary she was after her long 
 fight, that she had understood that, strive as she 
 might, it was evidently meant that escape from some- 
 one, some part of the old life, would never be hers, 
 that forgetfulness was denied her, that to start out 
 on any fresh path was out of her power. 
 
 Brabazon had told her last night that all through 
 the last week during which she had hoped against 
 hope that he had accepted her dismissal he had 
 been laying plans. They were plans against her, 
 plans which she was as powerless to stand against 
 now as she had ever been. And now, to-day, she 
 
 07
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 had not even her old courage left to her, not even 
 her old strength. 
 
 The rattle of the wheels and the clatter of the 
 horse's hoofs on the stone paving of the courtyard, 
 which lay well back from the road, and at one 
 corner of which the building that held Brabazon's 
 rooms stood, roused her from thought 
 
 A moment more and the wide glass doors facing 
 her were thrown open. One uniformed servant held 
 them back, another opened the brougham door 
 in the eyes of both she read instant recognition. 
 Another, in charge of the lift, took her straight 
 to the floor above, and left her, without request, 
 outside Brabazon's rooms. 
 
 And when the door to them opened, Lessing, 
 Brabazon's own man, stood behind it, ready to escort 
 her over familiar ground to a room that she saw at 
 a glance was changed in no way, that was heavy 
 with the scent of flowers which, from their bank 
 in the fireplace to the over-laden window-boxes, stood 
 everywhere in profusion. 
 
 Alone, she leant against the embrasure of the 
 window, her eyes on the awnings whose festooned 
 edges flapped gently in the faint, hot breeze, her 
 mind in a blind tangle, through which it was clear 
 only to her that she was struggling vainly to awake 
 from a disturbing dream, her hands nervously, un- 
 consciously, snapping off the innocent heads of those 
 geraniums nearest them. 
 
 Brabazon's entrance did not rouse her ; it was only 
 when he stood at her side, when he took the restless 
 fingers into his own, and with fond, gentle touch 
 stripped them of their suede covering, when close 
 to her ear he murmured words of pleasure, of 
 thanks to her that she had not failed him, that 
 
 ao8
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAES 
 
 she seemed to struggle out of the lingering, heavy 
 dream. 
 
 " So you came after all," he said, clasping her 
 hands more tightly. "Do you know, Val, my 
 heart was in my mouth every time I heard wheels 
 on the yard below! First, I was maddened with 
 the fear that you might be ill you looked such 
 a little ghost last night, and then that you might 
 have given into a fit of repentance of your bargain. 
 But," with a long sigh, " you're here, and that is 
 all I care about for the moment Let me look 
 at you," pushing her a very little away, and running 
 an appreciative pair of fond eyes over her from her 
 feet to the crown of her hat. "All white, of course, 
 it was always all white or all black. You're too thin, 
 Val, and you look tired out, but, by heaven ! you 
 always were, and always will be, the loveliest thing 
 on God's earth. Here is your chair, your old one, 
 Val ! No one else has ever sat in it 1 Now, haven't 
 you one word for me ? " 
 
 He put her gently into a great chair drawn close 
 to the window, and heaped up with wide, lace-covered 
 cushions; he caught up another from the floor and 
 set it beneath her feet, not forgetting to kiss the 
 little insteps that showed pink through the open 
 lace-work of her stockings ; and then he looked up in 
 some surprise as Val burst into a sudden hysterical 
 peal of laughter, not loud, not even amused. It 
 was laughter that held all tears, and some fear. 
 
 " I was thinking," she said, striving wildly for self- 
 control, "that since I left home I have not spoken one 
 word . . ." 
 
 " Then it is time you spoke several the first, to tell 
 me that you are not angry with me, that you do not 
 mind my having brought you here that . . ." 
 
 209 o
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " It has been like a pantomime scene," she pursued, 
 as if he had not spoken ; " the brougham waiting for 
 me, the doors thrown open here to me this room 
 all . . ." 
 
 " Like old times, Val like those days long ago 
 those days, and nights, that were all our own. I 
 wanted to remind you of them, Val." He leant down 
 to her, resting one knee on the broad arm of her chair, 
 and took first her gloves and then her flower-covered 
 hat, and drew in his breath sharply, and slid his 
 arm between the cushions and her back, as he read 
 no signs of resistance in her eyes or the movement 
 of her body. 
 
 Brabazon was very wise ; no living man understood 
 woman better than he ; his hold upon her remained 
 loose, gentle, protecting. He held in check an almost 
 overpowering desire to crush her in his arms, to kiss 
 the little cool face at will, to hold her captive while he 
 whispered to her of what she must know her power- 
 lessness against him. But he did none of these things; 
 instead, with every word, with every touch he roused 
 within her, half against her will, a sense of confidence, 
 a feeling of very pleasant restfulness. 
 
 Presently he drew a chair near to hers, and folding 
 a sheet of paper into the shape of a fan, gently stirred 
 the air with it 
 
 "I want to know," she said, "how you found 
 me." 
 
 " It was simple enough, in the end, Val ; but in the 
 beginning I almost gave up hope. On that day when 
 you let Marshall shut your door in my face, I was 
 absurdly angry with you. I ought to have known 
 that in the state of your mind at that moment you 
 were powerless to reason quietly. I thought I'd let 
 you get over your anger, and I made up my mind you 
 
 aio
 
 would be here again that same night Don't curve 
 your lips into that little sarcastic line you see I was 
 foolishly measuring your affection for me by mine for 
 you. Two hours without you cured my temper 
 promptly ! But when that night went, and another, 
 and still another, when days and nights passed and 
 a whole week was gone, I told myself I could not 
 stand another hour of it. 
 
 I went to your house, found it was empty, heard 
 that Marshall had taken it on, but that the sale of 
 furniture was about to take place, saw the miserable 
 old liar, his wife, who swore that she had no more 
 notion than the babe unborn where you had gone. 
 That was the first of many facers for me, but to take 
 you through them would only bore or perhaps amuse 
 you. For weeks I searched every likely and unlikely 
 spot; every day I told myself you might goto Halifax 
 for all I cared Gad ! but I was in a rage with you, 
 every night I woke up out of dreams of you, and 
 realised to the full my immeasurable loss. Then 
 one day, pretty well four months ago, I happened to 
 meet someone whose conversation gave me some sort 
 of idea that you had returned to the old house, " 
 he saw that she started slightly, and as his own 
 memory travelled back to his short and sharp interview 
 with Wingate on that day, the softness momentarily 
 died out of his voice, " so I went there, and this time 
 caught Marshall, who is not so good a liar as his wife. 
 He pretended to know nothing." 
 
 " He told you the truth then," she interrupted. " He 
 did not and does not know where I went." 
 
 Brabazon shrugged his shoulders. 
 
 " Any how," he continued, " Fate was kinder than 
 you or your servant There was a letter lying on the 
 hall table addressed to you bearing the Mitching 
 
 an
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 postmark. That seemed to me a strange co- 
 incidence, because I know some people living at 
 Mitching. The Herbertsons, a man called Grenvil 
 Delmar, and another who continually stays with 
 him, Kerr Wingate. What is it, Val?" he broke 
 off suddenly, as a little smothered sound escaped 
 her, and she turned from him a white, quivering 
 face. 
 
 " You're ill faint ! What a careless brute I am ! " 
 He got up rapidly and rang a bell. Val did not see 
 who answered, or hear what order was given ; she 
 was only vaguely thankful to him that he stayed for 
 several moments at the other side of the room. 
 
 When he came back, he leant against her chair 
 again with his knee on its arm, and drew her forward 
 till her shoulders rested against it. With his free 
 hand he reached backward to a little table, and from 
 it lifted out of its bed of ice a bottle from which he 
 poured golden, sparkling liquid into a glass that he 
 held to Valerie's lips. 
 
 " Drink it every drop," he insisted. 
 
 She obeyed ; she drank greedily, thirstily, because 
 her mouth was parched and dry, because in a moment 
 it seemed to put * new life into her, to warm her 
 chilled blood, and sent it tingling through her veins. 
 And when he refilled the glass, she took it from him 
 with a little smile, and held it in her own hand, and 
 sipped at it very slowly, and felt that she was swiftly 
 reviving, felt pleasantly dulled to the misery that 
 was her constant companion, felt more strongly than 
 ever the conviction stealing over her that, after all, 
 nothing really mattered, now. 
 
 "Go on," she urged him, when he had assured 
 himself that she was better and had resumed his 
 seat 
 
 tza
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Did you you look for me at at Mitching." 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " You heard of me ? " 
 
 " No. But I happened to drop on Valdor, the 
 artist, a few days later. I'd lost sight of him for 
 some years. When I went into his studio, the first 
 thing I saw was your picture. By Jove, I had to 
 fish him like a trout! No matter how deftly I 
 threw, he would not nibble. It took no end of time ; 
 but at last I managed to discover that you were his 
 model, and where you lived. You know nearly all 
 the rest I found you ; you dismissed me instantly. 
 I knew it was useless to come and try to force my 
 way into your home. I heard about your 'boys' 
 from Valdor. I ran up against Dunbar at the studio, 
 and practically commissioned him on the spot to 
 write some music that I've been wanting for some 
 time for a man who does not know how to go about 
 finding it himself. You would not take the cue I 
 gave you last night when I alluded to a former 
 meeting, and I thought you were actually going to 
 refuse my friendship." 
 
 "And you were right . . ." 
 
 " But, Val, I told you the other night I " 
 
 "I don't forget Still I say that for myself I 
 refuse, and always shall refuse, your friendship," with 
 a little curious smile. * But I won't refuse it for the 
 Bogie young Dunbar. It is why I am here now; 
 it is why I gave in to you when you exacted my 
 promise to meet you. Let us understand each other, 
 Cuthbert I went out of your life, I stayed out of 
 it ; because I eluded you, I became the more desirable 
 in your eyes. If I had remained at hand, the search 
 for me would have lost all its charm. Because you 
 know that my heart is ice you are keener, far keener
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 than in the old days, to bring to it warmth ; because 
 you think that passion is dulled to sleep within me, 
 you cannot know rest till you have succeeded 
 in stirring it once more to life, till again you 
 awake it . . ." 
 
 "You wrong me!" he broke in across her words. 
 " From the hour you parted from me I could not 
 know rest, because I could not forget you ; I knew 
 I could not live without you, and I wanted more 
 than anything to set right the wrong I had done 
 you. Val, be a little reasonable now, at anyrate. 
 After all, was my crime so great against you ? Look 
 back upon that time, and ask yourself." 
 
 " I have looked back through all these months I 
 have done nothing else but look back and I have 
 realised that if first the blame was with you, after- 
 wards it all lay at my door. I said that to you then, 
 I say it again. It was only only " 
 
 "It was only that, after all, you learned that the 
 love you gave me was nothing to the love of which 
 you were capable. You met another who, perhaps, 
 would have scorned to stoop to deception, but whose 
 love for you was not strong enough to take risk of 
 any sort not strong enough to pardon only so 
 weak that when he knew you were not all he had 
 believed you, he turned from you, and left you to 
 the life you have led since a hell of work and want 
 and useless regret 1 " 
 
 Her eyes asked a question that he answered at 
 once. 
 
 " I know, not because I have heard one word of 
 you since the day you bid me leave you, but because 
 of what you said to me the other night. I know, 
 because you have made me understand that your 
 heart is dead to me. The wrong I did you would 
 
 214
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 not kill love ; the fact that I have a wife, and that 
 I kept that secret from you, would not kill love 
 either. You know as well as I, that in letting me 
 give my life up to you, you would be wronging 
 no woman. You turned from me first in bitter 
 disappointment and anger, which I understand better 
 now than I did then ; you turn from me now because 
 you are on your knees at another man's heart the 
 heart of a man who feared to make you his wife. 
 And think of me as you will, I maintain that mine 
 is a better love than his. I only ask you to let me 
 make what poor amends I can; I only ask to make 
 your life easier ; I only ask you to believe that you 
 are dearer to me now than you ever were. I only 
 ask you to let me send you or take you somewhere 
 where you will be happier, where you will regain 
 your lost health. Can't you understand that I ask 
 nothing nothing else ? " 
 
 She looked at him curiously : though she heard 
 every word distinctly, and took in the sense of each, 
 she was conscious that while he spoke she was silent, 
 chiefly because she was trying to shake off a feeling 
 of curious numbness that was not unpleasant The 
 fumes of the wine had risen to her head, and had 
 tipped her thoughts, somehow, with a touch of 
 recklessness that she but vaguely understood. All 
 the time a voice seemed to be whispering in her ears, 
 "nothing matters." Brabazon had said, with brutal 
 truth, but with gentle pity, that she was on her knees 
 at another man's heart It was true. She had not 
 thought of it before ; but she knew that she had 
 been on her knees at Wingate's heart all through 
 these long weary days that had robbed her of hope 
 and of health. And it might be that he cared 
 nothing, that he had forgotten. He must be careless 
 
 "5
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 of her fate, since never once had he sought to know 
 what it might be. 
 
 Brabazon, in taking her glass, had kept her hand 
 in his possession, and now he was silent while he 
 smoothed the soft palm gently. With every word 
 and touch he took her back to the first days of their 
 love, the best days, when she had trusted him utterly ; 
 when in his own manner, a manner baffling de- 
 scription, he had won her confidence and her heart, 
 and had filled her days with joy, the memory of 
 which returned to her with full force now. 
 
 " Don't you understand ? " he questioned again. 
 
 "No; I don't Nothing on earth could make me 
 believe in an utterly disinterested friendship from 
 you. But I am certain that you mean well. Tell 
 me how well you mean towards young Dunbar ? " 
 
 " I hardly follow you, VaL But I can put work in 
 his way ; his own splendid talent will lead him to 
 fame." 
 
 " Not without assistance." 
 
 " Not without assistance," Brabazon repeated. 
 
 " Frankly, are you prepared to give it him for my 
 sake?" 
 
 " Frankly, I am." 
 
 " And if I go out of this room now, and tell you 
 that I never mean to see or speak to you again you 
 will wash your hands of him ? " 
 
 "I shall. That is not a threat, VaL It's forcing 
 you into a bargain that will be for your good. Let 
 me ease my conscience by making up to you a little 
 for the past, and in return I'll fling that boy up the 
 ladder of fame as fast as I can manage it Come 
 back into my life you'll do it with your eyes open 
 this time, and I swear I'll not abuse your trust in me 
 and you may command of me first for yourself, and 
 
 216
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 then for those struggling boys, all of them, what you 
 will" 
 
 " Come back into your life . . . ? " she echoed. 
 
 " Yes ; give me the right to stand between you and 
 the misery of your life now restore to me the rights 
 you gave me long ago, and I'll show you how very 
 little I shall ask if you will trust me. Oh, hang it, 
 Val," getting up and walking restlessly about the 
 room with both hands thrust deep into his pockets, 
 " I love you ! I'm mad with the joy of having found 
 you and of seeing you here. I've been fighting like 
 a demon with the desire to hold you in my arms, 
 and tell you all that is in my heart I'm mad 
 with longing for the touch of your lips, and and 
 with . . . damn it ! I'm trying to do and say all that 
 you could wish, but I'm not such a fool that I don't 
 know you've not got a chance against me now. I 
 behaved badly to you once, and I want to show 
 you that I know I deserve some sort of punishment 
 God knows you're giving it to me at this moment ; 
 but there's a limit to my patience ..." 
 
 He came to her side suddenly and stood over her, 
 all the indolence dying out of his eyes and voice. 
 She looked up at him, and told herself that what 
 he said he meant for the moment, and that equally 
 for the moment she held all and more than her old 
 influence over him. She looked up into his face, and 
 unfortunately she laughed. The effect was like flame 
 to oil. He lifted her out of the chair so swiftly that 
 she had no time to resist. He kissed her eyes and 
 her hair and her throat half savagely, and pushed 
 aside the laces at her breast to rest his lips on the 
 soft flesh beneath. And he held her lips to his till 
 she thrust his head back breathlessly. 
 
 M It is your own fault Why did you laugh at 
 217
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 me?" he demanded, a little alarmed when he saw 
 that she lay back in his hold white as death. " Val, 
 you're not trying to get away from me. What is it 
 that you mean . . ." 
 
 " What is my strength against yours ? " 
 
 He put her back into the chair, while he told 
 himself that he could wait. 
 
 "Are you going to be friends with me?" lamely, 
 but with a touch of fear. She let her hand rest 
 in his. 
 
 "Val, I can't put up with the idea of your going 
 back to that miserable den. Will you t . ." 
 
 " Wait," she said, " I am not going to answer 
 you yet I must have time to think . . ." 
 
 " To-morrow ; not an hour more." 
 
 " I won't promise. Let me go now." 
 
 " Rubbish 1 You are going to dine here with 
 me." 
 
 " Will you send me home before half-past ten ? * 
 
 " If you insist." 
 
 " Very well, then, I dine with you." 
 
 He said nothing for many minutes ; then he bent 
 down till his face almost touched her hair. 
 
 " You don't care a hang for me now, Val ? " 
 
 "You put it vulgarly. I've no heart, no power 
 to love." 
 
 " You never will care again." 
 
 "You want to look too far into the future." 
 
 " Have you forgotten everything ? Am I nothing 
 to you ? Do you hate me ? " 
 
 "Will you swear not to behave as you behaved 
 just now if I tell you the truth ? " 
 
 * I swear . . . ! " 
 
 "Well, if if you would be gentle to me your 
 better self, as you were when I saw you first to-night, 
 
 218
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 I should like you better than I ever I should care 
 for you more than I ever cared." 
 
 " What am I what does my life matter now," she 
 said in her heart, while with his gentlest grace he 
 bent over her hands, and her dry, hot eyes rested 
 on his head. "He has forgotten, and I need not 
 remember."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXII 
 
 IT was close upon eleven when Valerie mounted 
 the stairs which led to her home; her 
 inclination was to go at once to her own 
 rooms, but she knew that Dunbar would not 
 go to bed till he was sure that she had returned. 
 She was curiously tired, tired as she had never been 
 before, tired in a way that made her feel helpless 
 and foolish, and momentarily on the point of 
 hysterical laughter. 
 
 The boys had heard her light step on the stairs, 
 and the door was thrown open to her before she 
 reached it 
 
 "Back again!" Dunbar exclaimed cheerfully, 
 taking her bare, cool hands, and drawing her into 
 their common sitting-room. 
 
 He did not ask her where she had been ; it was 
 the sort of question they never asked each other. 
 All were free to come and go without the fear of 
 comment, of demands for explanation. Generally 
 Valerie told them quite naturally; to-night she did 
 not Dunbar had been at home nearly half an hour, 
 he said ; the young artist, Fred Hermann, had been 
 busily cooking and eating supper during that time ; 
 and Charlie Marks, "the author" as he was called, 
 had not yet put in an appearance. 
 
 The eyes of Hermann and Dunbar ran swiftly 
 over her dress, and then they met, and then both 
 men turned abruptly aside. 
 
 M
 
 NOR ALL YOUE TEARS 
 
 "Any luck, Bogie?" she inquired, not seating 
 herself, but leaning a little heavily against the 
 back of a chair. 
 
 * I think so of course nothing is absolutely 
 settled yet. One could hardly expect that in so 
 short a time. Brabazon himself did not turn up 
 this evening as he half promised, but I shall see 
 him, I think, to-morrow." 
 
 Valerie's eyes were on the floor, a very faint pink 
 was coming and going in her cheeks, the hysterical 
 laugh was threatening her again, and she had to 
 cover it with an absurd sort of suppressed giggle, 
 that caused both men to stare at her hard. 
 
 "I'm glad," she said. "What do you think of 
 the whole affair, Fred ? " 
 
 "It strikes me as being a splendid opportunity. 
 I'm more pleased than I can say. I wonder what 
 has come of ' the author ' ? " 
 
 "You're very white, Val," said Dunbar, still 
 avoiding Hermann's eyes, and looking at the girl 
 with a puzzled frown. 
 
 " I'm tired. I'll go to bed. Don't sit up too late, 
 you boys. Good-night" 
 
 She blew them a little kiss from her finger-tips, 
 and went towards the door. But half way she 
 paused, and looked on the floor and the table 
 searchingly. 
 
 " Lost something, Val ? " Hermann asked, looking 
 round too. 
 
 "Your gloves?" inquired Dunbar, who had 
 noticed that her hands and arms were bare to the 
 elbows. 
 
 " I perhaps I dropped them it was so hot ... * 
 she returned, and then, with that new foolish giggle 
 and another good night, turned away.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 The men sat silent, after she had gone, for 
 many moments. Neither cared to be the first to 
 speak, it seemed. At last Hermann ventured the 
 remark 
 
 "Is she ill, Bogie?" 
 
 "She's been ill for months, but it's not that to- 
 night" 
 
 He took out a fresh cigarette, passed the case to 
 his companion, and then struck and held out a match 
 with much deliberation. 
 
 "Fred, what's in your mind? Upon my soul, I 
 don't know how to put my thought into words, and 
 I feel as though you ought to horsewhip me for 
 giving heed to it a moment" 
 
 " If it was any other woman, I should say she'd had 
 more to drink than is good for her ..." 
 
 Dunbar made a gesture that said his own thought 
 had been put into words. 
 
 " But with Val, M the other continued, " the idea is 
 an insult, beside being too absurd." 
 
 " You saw how she is dressed, Fred ? " 
 
 "As I've never seen her dressed since she came 
 here." 
 
 " And she turns up at eleven, for the first time, 
 saying nothing of where she has been." 
 
 " She's her own mistress, Bogie and ..." 
 
 " I'm aware of that But if she were our sister she 
 couldn't be more dear to us. You know as well as I, 
 that if I thought anyone if ..." 
 
 The words were checked by the sudden entrance 
 of Charlie Marks. 
 
 "Any luck?" he inquired of Dunbar, "and any 
 supper left ? " while he put down a brown paper parcel 
 and seemed to be looking round the room for some- 
 one else. 
 
 tit
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " I think so to both questions." 
 
 " Good ! I'll hear about the one, and have some 
 of the other." 
 
 Another pause, and then suddenly 
 
 "Where's Val?" 
 
 " Gone to bed." 
 
 " Not been out ? " looking from one to the other. 
 
 "Yes. Only came in about ten minutes ago. 
 What makes you ask ? " 
 
 " If I tell you, you'll only think me a fool, but 
 hanged if I've ever been more puzzled in my life. 
 How did she come home ? " 
 
 " I didn't see her till she came in." 
 
 "Did she have on white white lace mostly?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "And a hat that was all roses, and one white 
 feather?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 Hermann and Dunbar looked at each other 
 curiously. 
 
 " Then I was right ! I thought if I'd taken any 
 other woman for Val that I must be either mad or 
 drunk. I got into the wrong bus, and when we were 
 at the King's Road I noticed it. Got out at the top 
 of Oakley Street and walked down. Two minutes 
 after, a smart brougham pulled up. The woman I've 
 described got out, and headed for this direction. I 
 should have run after her in sheer amaze, but that I 
 went right into Jephson's arms. He wouldn't let me 
 go, and of course the woman disappeared. But if it 
 was not Val well, I'll eat my hat ! " 
 
 Dunbar sat down heavily in Valerie's chair. 
 
 "Got out of a brougham? At the corner of 
 Oakley Street, you say ? " 
 
 " Out of a brougham a small night affair smart 
 f.M
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 coachman splendid chestnut horse. Did she say 
 where she'd been?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 "First time, then. Fred, Bogie, what does it 
 mean ? " 
 
 " God knows," returned Dunbar, and took another 
 cigarette. 
 
 The next morning Valerie was up to give them 
 breakfast in the usual way. She looked very 
 childish and frail in her blue overall, and with the 
 rough masses of her hair caught back by a ribbon 
 at the nape of her neck. She frizzled the bacon 
 and poached the eggs, and scolded Marks for letting 
 the coffee boil over, in just her old merry way, and 
 though every movement was an effort an effort 
 that became a more serious one every day she 
 hid the fact bravely under light chatter, while, as 
 ever, she kept the men talking of themselves, and 
 turned their attention as much as possible from 
 herselt 
 
 This morning it was not an easy task. They 
 were a little ill at ease with her; Charlie Marks 
 wore an almost guilty air, and Hermann and Dunbar 
 could not manage to meet her eyes. The very 
 atmosphere of the little flat seemed to have changed. 
 The chief interest that these boys had in life, outside 
 their work, seemed to have been swept away from 
 them suddenly. They had said little to each other 
 on the previous night, they had had little opportunity 
 of saying anything this morning, but each felt, in a 
 different way, that he had been robbed of something, 
 that there was a change, that never again could the 
 little home in which they had been sad and merry 
 seem the same in their eyes. Involuntarily their 
 minds went back to Valerie's entrance into it, and 
 
 224
 
 NOB ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 they remembered that of the circumstances which 
 led to her making her home with them when she 
 was alone, in want, and evidently deserted by all, 
 they knew nothing. They had never sought to 
 know they did not care. Her father had been 
 their kindest friend ; in his better days he had not 
 only helped them as lads, but had practically kept 
 them. He had given them work which was a sheer 
 excuse for paying them, and he had saved them 
 from much that now they hardly dared to look 
 back upon. When their turn had come unexpectedly 
 to give such as they had to his daughter, to give 
 her, at all events, their care and affection, and the 
 protection of which she seemed to stand in need, 
 they took the opportunity gladly and thankfully. 
 And from that day till this she had been the light 
 of their home, the incentive to work, in many things 
 their guide. 
 
 She had made the dingy flat a home, and one to 
 which they were ever glad to return. She was 
 responsible for keeping them out of cheap restaurants 
 and bars ; she caused them to pick and choose their 
 companions, because there were few whom they 
 cared to introduce to her; and though they hardly 
 knew it themselves, she held them back from many 
 things of which to-day they would have been 
 ashamed, and for which they would have felt regret 
 Their lives were almost an open book for her to 
 read, as they lived them now ; their clean, simple, 
 hard-working existence they had been proud to 
 share with her; and now it had come upon them 
 with a shock, that her life held some secret, not of 
 the past, but of the present, which they might not 
 share, some secret that planted in their young hearts 
 and minds suspicion, anxiety, fear for her, which 
 
 *a r
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 never once was tipped with anything resembling 
 mere disappointment or simple curiosity. 
 
 She had seemed to belong so wholly to them, to 
 their tender affection and their care. When she 
 leant back in her chair this morning and poured 
 out their coffee, they looked at her, and told 
 themselves that she belonged to them wholly no 
 longer. 
 
 They went out together presently, and they went 
 out in rare silence. They hung together all that 
 morning, as people do insensibly, in trouble, in grief. 
 
 " What do you think," asked Hermann once, and 
 Dunbar answered with rare impatience for him : 
 
 " How can I say ? We shall know soon enough ! " 
 
 But the sweetness of the thought of success, of 
 one day, perhaps, fame, was taken out of all his work 
 that day. 
 
 Dunbar was kept too busily engaged during the 
 next week to give way to disturbing thoughts ; a 
 little of his new success seemed to be shared by 
 his companions, who picked up some fairly profitable 
 employment, which kept them very busy ; and 
 Cuthbert Brabazon was constantly at their home. 
 Every night there was a fresh discussion on the 
 question of the music, which it had been determined 
 Dunbar should write specially, not using anything 
 that he had done before ; every day there was some 
 meeting at a place always appointed by Brabazcn. 
 As Valerie had fully anticipated, Brabazon wove part 
 of his life into theirs, deftly, carefully ; he made 
 part of the happenings of their days part of the 
 happenings of his. By degrees he interested himself 
 in the work done both by Marks and Hermann. 
 It was at his suggestion that a certain magazine or 
 paper was tried for the publication of a likely story 
 
 26
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 or article, perhaps his letter with which Charlie 
 Marks went armed to the editor. It was Brabazon 
 who gave Hermann his first commission worth the 
 name, who bought one or two of his pictures at 
 very fair prices, and, more than that, recommended 
 Hermann to many of his friends. He had an 
 exceedingly nice manner of doing these things, too, 
 and a very unobtrusive one. He became the best 
 of friends with them all Valerie standing out alone, 
 conspicuously, for her extreme coldness of manner 
 to him, which, however, never amounted to rudeness. 
 
 But though Brabazon helped them easily, as if 
 half unconsciously, in many ways; though he kept 
 Dunbar busy at work, and though that work gave 
 evident satisfaction, nothing had been decided. He 
 had not been actually commissioned to write the 
 music for the musical comedy for which the book 
 and lyrics were almost complete. There was nothing 
 yet upon paper; and always there was a sense of 
 uncertainty, a feeling which Dunbar's friends shared 
 with him, that Brabazon was waiting, hanging back 
 a little, for what, they could not conjecture. 
 
 Valerie knew ; and the knowledge seemed to sap 
 her little remaining strength, to rob her of the little 
 life left in her. 
 
 The old cry, " Nothing matters," rang in her ears 
 day and night ; it was only the courage to let it lead 
 her on, to listen to it above every other voice, which 
 failed her. 
 
 She was thinking so, and despising herself generally 
 one night, when the Bogie entered hurriedly. 
 
 " Brabazon not here ? " he inquired of her. " That's 
 odd. He was to be up here by eight sharp, and I 
 raced home all I knew to meet him. It's twenty 
 past," looking at his watch.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "Not so much over the hour," soothed Valerie. 
 " What is on to-night ? " 
 
 "Why, Ellison is coming 1 up with him. On him, 
 it seems, that the real decision depends." 
 
 Valerie said "Oh!" and she turned to study the 
 young man's face, while he busied himself about, 
 unconscious of her scrutiny. How young and happy 
 it was ! How keen and bright and full of hope were 
 the kind eyes, with their new light shining in them ! 
 How all life had changed for him with this new hope ! 
 
 If he but knew it, hope and life itself, or all that 
 made life worth the name to him, lay in the palm 
 of her hand, to give or to withhold. If he knew it 
 he would dash her hand aside, and trample his work 
 to rags at her feet ; and all his life would be ruined, 
 now that he had tasted the sweets of possible success. 
 What might not become of him then? She dared 
 not think. It was her fault that he had gone so far ; 
 she would be a coward indeed if she dragged him 
 back now. 
 
 "Here they are!" exclaimed Dunbar, across her 
 thoughts. " No only Brabazon," stretching his neck 
 to look out of the window. 
 
 Valerie came back to life with Brabazon's voice 
 in her ears, and her fingers held in his close clasp. 
 
 " I am afraid I am quite half an hour late," he said, 
 * I must ask you to forgive me. The fact is, the day 
 has been simply full up ; and to finish it I committed 
 the rare folly of going to a wedding, or, rather, to 
 the reception after it Beastly bore, and hindered 
 me fearfully." 
 
 "I rather like seeing weddings pretty ones," 
 Valerie said, simply for the sake of saying something. 
 
 " Do you ? Well, you should have had my place, 
 and welcome, this afternoon, Miss Drummond. I 
 - 228
 
 NOE ALL YOUR TEAES 
 
 daresay it was as pretty as you could wish. What 
 took me to it was that I simply wouldn't believe this 
 chap had committed matrimony if I had not seen him 
 with my own eyes. Known him for years, but never 
 knew him to look at any woman. Went out of 
 England about four or five months ago, and not his 
 best friend knew or heard anything of him till he 
 returned in company with the lady who is his wife 
 to-day, and her people. Sheer amaze dragged me 
 to the show, and then he is a great friend of my 
 wife's. I don't suppose you'd know him, though he 
 is a bit of an artist himself, I think." 
 
 " Who ? " asked Dunbar, from the other side of the 
 room, only having caught a word here and there, and 
 not much interested. 
 
 " His name's Kerr Wingate. I was saying I went 
 to see him married to-day, or at least . . . Miss 
 Drummond ! Good heavens ! " 
 
 The startled exclamation brought Dunbar swiftly 
 across the room in time to hear a stifled cry from 
 Valerie, to see her hand go up to her throat as 
 though she were choking, and then to know that she 
 had fallen forward into Brabazon's arms unconscious. 
 
 What he did not see was the flash of light that 
 momentarily shone in Brabazon's languid eyes, the 
 smile that for an instant played about his mouth 
 a smile that said a thousand things. What Dunbar 
 did not hear was the long indrawn breath that caught 
 in Brabazon's throat almost like the sound of a sob. 
 They put her into a great chair; they brought brandy 
 and a fan, and Dunbar searched her room for eau- 
 de-cologne. When she came back to life it was to 
 look straight up into Brabazon's eyes, to feel his 
 fingers clasped on her wrist, her face damp and 
 chilled, and to see, as she looked upward, the loose 
 
 229
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEARS 
 
 strands of her hair twisting themselves into little 
 wet rings. 
 
 Dunbar had gone out of the room again in search 
 of something for her comfort. Brabazon brought his 
 eyes back from the closed door to hers once more. 
 He bent down till his lips were close to her ear. 
 
 " Listen to me, Val," he said decidedly, " this can't 
 and shan't go on. I won't stand it ! I gave you a 
 day in which you should answer me a certain question. 
 That's a week ago, and I've let you have all the other 
 six because I'm a weak fool in your hands. This has 
 settled it At this rate you've not many more weeks 
 to live. I'm going to take you out of it all, with or 
 without your consent I'd rather it were with it. 
 
 You will have to " he paused and brought her 
 
 face round to his till their eyes were close, "you'll 
 have to choose now, at this moment, before Dunbar 
 comes back, for yourself and and for him them. 
 You'll have to give me your answer." 
 
 "You want . . ." she began, and he made a gesture 
 of great impatience, while his fingers strengthened 
 their hold on hers, and his eyes went back anxiously 
 to the door. 
 
 " I want you. I told you the other night," hurriedly, 
 "that I wanted you to come back into my life I 
 want your promise." 
 
 "And then . . .?" 
 
 " You are simply playing with words to gain time, 
 to hold out till Dunbar comes back into the room, 
 when you think you will have put me off for another 
 day. When I have your promise his future will be 
 pretty well assured. Be quick, I hear him coming 
 back . . ." 
 
 " If he knew . . ." 
 
 " Well, he doesn't And if he ever knows it will 
 230
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 be when he has made his way and some of his fortune, 
 and he will have forgotten you." 
 
 She hardly heard a word. She had come back to 
 life and memory with one sentence of his ringing in 
 her ears, hammering on her aching head, beating into 
 her dazed brain : "His namJs Kerr Wingate. I was 
 saying I went to see him married to-day . . ." And 
 over it the old cry, the old voice saying through the 
 storm of her useless tears, " Nothing matters. Why 
 need you remember, since he has forgotten ? " 
 
 " Nothing matters," she said heavily, unconsciously 
 echoing the cry. 
 
 " You promise, Val ? " 
 
 " As you like. I ..." 
 
 He silenced her with his mouth crushed on hers. 
 
 When Dunbar returned Brabazon was sitting on 
 the window sill, looking a little, a very little, bored.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXIII 
 
 IT was the sweetest of all months, September 
 September ripe, hushed, golden brown. 
 Never did Delmar display its beauties as at 
 this season of the year, and so thought Pat 
 Brabazon to-day as she drove up to the door, her 
 eyes looking lovingly out on to the gardens that were 
 so dear to her, her feet impatient to leave the 
 carriage. 
 
 Grenvil Delmar himself came out to meet her. 
 
 " I sent you word you expected me?" she said, as 
 they reached the hall. "You can give me half an 
 hour?" 
 
 He did not answer till he had led her into his own 
 den ; then he closed the door behind them, and held 
 her hands for a long moment to his lips. 
 
 " My whole life," he returned, " as you know." 
 
 " What a comfort you are, Gren ! " she declared, 
 trying to laugh, because she felt that tears were close, 
 and because everything grew bright, the way always 
 clearer and easier in his presence. 
 
 " Something has happened," he questioned, while he 
 took her long driving coat and threw it over a chair. 
 " Something to trouble you ? " 
 
 She nodded. 
 
 "Something is always happening to trouble me, 
 and I'm always flying to you when it does. You're 
 the only creature alive, Gren, who understands me a
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 little bit! I've been playing detective," she added, 
 while he smiled and sat on the edge of a table very 
 close to her chair, " and I'm not only displeased with 
 the results, but a little frightened." 
 
 " Small wonder ! You detective 1 What on earth 
 do you mean, Pat?" 
 
 "It's about that poor girl, Valerie Drummond 
 ..." watching him out of the corners of her lovely 
 anxious eyes, while Delmar only said " Oh ! " 
 
 " If you say ' Oh !' like that, I shan't like you." 
 
 " I'll say it anyhow you please, my dear ; but I 
 thought you had forgotten her." 
 
 " Then you thought wrong. I couldn't I knew I 
 never should ; the thought of her positively haunted 
 me. But I've found out all about her in these last 
 two months and it's distressing. Aren't you in- 
 terested," quickly, "don't you care? Are you still 
 prejudiced ? " 
 
 "If you are interested and care, then I am," he 
 returned, clasping tightly the little hand she had 
 slipped into his. " But if I tell you the truth, I am a 
 bit prejudiced still. Her name suggests oh, many 
 things, people, I don't want to remember or let you 
 remember ; and, apart from that, I cannot help 
 holding her responsible for the loss of our best 
 friend." 
 
 "Kerr. But how unjust that is; and it is unlike 
 you to be unjust." 
 
 " Tell me all about it." 
 
 " But wait ; when you say you hold her responsible 
 for the loss of our old friend, do you forget that we 
 agreed that she must have told him the truth. They 
 left this place on the same day I am convinced that 
 he followed her ; and we have heard nothing of either 
 of them ever since more than six months ago."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "There have been times when I have been in fear 
 lest he took her abroad married her there . . ." 
 
 " No ; she has been in England, in London, all the 
 time. I know that now. So you see it must have 
 been the truth which parted them, and, oh ! Gren, be 
 just she must have been greatly brave to tell it I 
 am certain she knew / would never betray her." t 
 
 "You are right she was greatly brave rarely 
 honest" 
 
 "And sometimes I think he might not have left her 
 he might have forgiven; but of course we do not 
 know all. He has returned . . ." 
 
 " Returned 1 You mean that Kerr is back in 
 England ? " 
 
 " Yes ; Dolly Herbertson saw him last evening. 
 She told me when she got home. He asked where I 
 could be found, and she let him know I am returning 
 to town to-night That is why I wanted to be sure 
 of seeing you first" 
 
 " Good heavens ! I'm very glad, though." 
 
 "Gren, what if he has come back to find her? 
 The idea got into my head in the night, and I cannot 
 get it out." 
 
 "Is it likely?" 
 
 " It is not impossible. I know how Kerr would 
 love. It may be that he has found life impossible 
 without her. And oh, if that is so, when he knows 
 all there is to know . . ." 
 
 " What is it ? What is it you have heard about her, 
 Pat?" Delmar inquired with interest real enough now, 
 and keen anxiety. Pat was not a woman to make a 
 sensation out of nothing ; it was plain to him that she 
 was very agitated. 
 
 "First and worst, that he has got her into his 
 clutches again." 
 
 34
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Brabazon, you mean ? " Delmar said with closed 
 teeth, with suddenly paling face. Then he gave his 
 shoulders a great shake, and got up to take several 
 steps up and down the room. 
 
 "That being so, do you think it worth while to 
 trouble about her, Pat ? " 
 
 She looked at him reproachfully, and getting up 
 too, stopped him in his restless walk. 
 
 "But how on earth did you come to know of 
 these people ? " he inquired, with evident annoyance. 
 
 " I'll tell you if you'll listen, and just won't harden 
 your heart against her. If ever she did harm, she has 
 been punished for it in these few months. You know 
 Valdor the artist ? Well, it was through him I first 
 heard of her, through him I traced her life over the 
 days since she left here. Heaven knows what befell 
 her in the beginning, but she went to the home of 
 some young artists whom she had known in her 
 father's time, went there in want, and very evidently 
 in misery. She stayed to share with them their home 
 and their work, and in a way to keep house for them 
 such a keep as it must have needed. Valdor told 
 me he can colour a story well. She was his model, 
 but that was not the worst ; she came down to sitting 
 for men that, when Valdor heard of it, he employed 
 her when he did not want her to prevent her going to 
 them. What she must have gone through I I 
 cannot bear to go over ; and then a stroke of good 
 fortune fell upon this new composer Dunbar you 
 remember ? who made such a hit with those songs ot 
 Ellison's. I learned that it was Cuthbert who 
 launched Dunbar, Cuthbert who first discovered those 
 young fellows and Valerie Drummond through Valdor. 
 I I don't understand it all, but I know from what 
 she said to me that day here, that she had cut her
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 own life purposely, that she had made the effort to 
 escape it and him. You know, as I do, that the mere 
 fact of a woman's trying to escape him would make 
 him the more determined that she should not" 
 
 " And now ? " Delmar began, " You said 
 that n 
 
 " And now she is with him, to be seen with him. 
 They tell me that she is the ghost of herself, that the 
 doctors hold out little hope of her recovery." 
 
 " She is ill, then ? " 
 
 "She goes about She lives a little way out of 
 town, and Cuthbert is the only creature she ever sees. 
 I've indisputable proof of all this you know how 
 many there have ever been who are glad to bring 
 such stories to me. From what Valdor says, it seems 
 that her companions young Dunbar and his friends 
 when they knew, gave her the cold shoulder. It 
 seemed to me it was rather giving themselves airs, 
 but how much more there may be behind it all I 
 cannot tell The point is this, Cuthbert does not 
 flaunt her in the face of the world as is his usual 
 custom with the ladies of his fancy. I'm convinced 
 that, whatever she has done, she has been driven into ; 
 and now that Kerr has returned, I would not have 
 him hear of her for a kingdom." 
 
 " My dear little girl," Delmar said gravely, " your 
 tender heart will lead you into no end of unhappiness 
 for others. I beg of you, don't think it mere injustice, 
 prejudice on my part, and do believe me when I tell 
 you that I am certain these people are not worth one 
 of your sweet thoughts. We don't know what 
 happened so far as she and Kerr were concerned, but 
 if she told him the truth, which I think likely, I 
 honour her for it it is one to her good at all events ; 
 but now, what can you do ? I don't think with you 
 
 236
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 that Kerr has come back with that woman in his 
 mind, and if he has, surely the best thing for him will 
 be his utter disenchantment" 
 
 " But for her ? Gren, I tell you that a good man's 
 love, such a life as she might have led with him. would 
 have been more than the saving of her it " 
 
 " It would have been the ruin of him and he 
 comes first in my mind." 
 
 " Is that how you would think if I " 
 
 "I forbid you to speak of yourself in the same 
 breath with them I won't listen to you. Dear, be 
 reasonable," taking her hands and studying her little 
 determined face with anxiety. " What can you do ? 
 Nothing." 
 
 " I can I'm going to. I'm going to Cuthbert" 
 
 He dropped her hands as though they had burnt 
 him. 
 
 "What!" 
 
 " I'm going to Cuthbert I don't know how I'm 
 going to manage, but I'm going to get the truth from 
 him somehow. And if not, I'm going to her; and if 
 she'll let me, I'll protect her from him anyhow." 
 
 " Pat, you're mad ! " 
 
 M I'm not I'm so sure of the girl and of my own 
 convictions. Oh, Gren," resting both hands on his 
 shoulders, "this is the one moment in all our lives 
 since we first met when you have not seen with me 
 as I see, when I have not your sympathy and your 
 comprehension." 
 
 " I confess it God knows that I would rather do 
 anything, give any possession, than that it should be 
 so, than that it should be possible ; but I cannot 
 deny it You are going on supposition almost 
 entirely, on a story highly coloured and exaggerated, 
 perhaps, on your intense sympathy and sweet good- 
 
 *37
 
 NOR ALL YOUE TEARS 
 
 nature, and on your desire to right a wrong with 
 which you'll get no thanks for meddling. I cannot 
 prevent you from going to your husband," with 
 bitter intonation, and the nearest approach to anger 
 he had ever shown her, "to a man who has already 
 heaped upon you every insult it is possible for a man 
 to offer a woman ; but I can and do entreat you to 
 have nothing to do with the woman or her set You 
 will promise me that, Pat ? " 
 
 K And you will be very angry with me if I do not ? " 
 she asked wistfully. 
 
 " I cannot be angry with you. You know it well. 
 All you are and do and say seems good and right 
 and wise in my eyes, but not this. It is folly, the 
 worst folly." 
 
 " Listen, Gren. I won't do anything that I think 
 you would not like; but you will let me try 
 you " 
 
 He made an impatient gesture, but he did not 
 answer. It was so impossible to him to seem to 
 thwart her wishes in any way, and, added to that, he 
 knew that she was so wise generally, and so far- 
 seeing. It was seldom that Pat made mistakes, and 
 never had he known her to act rashly, foolishly, on 
 impulse. He felt that she was utterly wrong now, 
 and yet he felt, too, that she was not the woman 
 to make so great a mistake as this seemed in his 
 eyes. 
 
 " I give in to you," he said, with the very faintest 
 weariness. " I'm weak as water in your hands, as 
 you know." Then hurriedly, " You are going to town 
 now. You were on your way. When shall you see 
 Kerr?" 
 
 "Very soon. I gathered from the manner in 
 which he inquired about me that he rather wants
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 * 
 
 to see me. You are not able to come up for a day 
 or two ? " 
 
 She asked the question a little quickly. She 
 would not let him know how more than easy she 
 would have been in mind had he been nearer at 
 hand than in his home. 
 
 " I wish it were possible. But, Pat, you are to 
 remember that if you need me if you want my 
 help " 
 
 " You anticipate my getting into mischief! Gren, 
 I must go. Tell me I have not vexed you much." 
 
 "Not at all. Believe it You don't understand, 
 dear. It is only that always I think of you first, 
 of what is best for you." 
 
 "Don't I know it?" 
 
 " I hope you do well, and that makes me anxious, 
 foolishly anxious, perhaps." 
 
 " And you're not vexed or Gren, say it" 
 
 He dropped her coat which he had been holding 
 out ; he put both his arms round her instead. 
 
 "Pat, when you plead with me you break down 
 barriers, you make me lose my grip on all you have 
 taught me to remember. You don't mean it, but 
 you become my tempter ..." 
 
 " Forgive me ! Dear, forgive me ! * 
 
 "Everything, except your determination to doom 
 me to this life that is not life at all ! There, you 
 must forgive me nowl Must I let you go? Till 
 we meet again, then." 
 
 She was very pale ; he had released her, and she 
 stood with one hand on the table. Her dark gown 
 threw up every bewitching tint of skin, and hair, and 
 eyes* Delmar put on her coat and went half way 
 to the door. He came back to her in one quick step. 
 
 "Say something to me something to keep me
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 company through this hateful night. I swear not 
 to take advantage of it, to seek to alter your 
 determination." 
 
 She thought of all his weary life she measured 
 it by her own ; and she went to him and framed 
 his face in both her hands. 
 
 "You want no words from me," she whispered. 
 M You know. Try to live in that sweetest knowledge, 
 as I live." 
 
 " Say it this once, Pat." 
 
 " The knowledge of my love ! " 
 
 The words were faint, but they reached him. 
 With a low, hoarse murmur he wound his arms 
 about her again, and bent down his face till it 
 was hidden on her breast 
 
 "The knowledge of your love. My heart's dearest! " 
 
 He held her lips to his with a long sigh, and took 
 the flowers she was wearing. 
 
 A moment later he was putting her into her 
 carriage with a laugh that sounded light, and a few 
 words about her journey that sounded indifferently 
 polite. 
 
 And Pat leant back in her corner and closed her 
 eyes, and felt again the pressure of his fond arms 
 and his kisses on her lips.
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 m JiT 
 
 VI 
 
 JL V JL 
 
 XXIV 
 R WINGATE, madam. I said that 
 
 " Oh, I will see Mr Wingate, Arnold, 
 but no one else," Pat Brabazon in- 
 terrupted the maid quickly. " He has not gone 
 away ? " 
 
 " No, madam." 
 
 " Very well, say I will come down at once." 
 
 It was the afternoon of the next day, and Pat 
 was putting the finishing touches to her toilet, 
 preparatory to going out upon an errand that was 
 not altogether to her taste, and one about which 
 she was not very happy. She threw her hat and 
 gloves down, and turned to her own maid. 
 
 "Telephone to the stable and say Roberts need 
 not come round for half an hour. I can't have the 
 horses standing in this rain." 
 
 Then she went down the stairs slowly, looking 
 through the hall windows as she went, at the gloomy 
 backs of dull houses that seemed still more gloomy 
 under a darkened sky and in a downpour of rain. She 
 was in her own charming little house that held no 
 charm for her, in the house that she never occupied 
 except when it was absolutely necessary. 
 
 She found Wingate walking about in the drawing- 
 room, so changed in appearance that she could 
 hardly repress a little exclamation of mingled 
 surprise and alarm. 
 
 141 o
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "This is very good of you, Pat," he said, taking 
 both her hands closely in his, "I am afraid I " 
 
 " Nonsense ! You knew I should see you ; but 
 I was not going to be at home to the army that 
 generally find me out directly I come to town. You 
 met Dolly the night before last she said you were 
 asking for me. Kerr, what have you been doing ? 
 What has changed you like this ? " 
 
 He laughed, without mirth, with a new ring of 
 bitterness in the laugh. 
 
 " Don't ask me, Pat I hardly know what I have 
 or have not done during these last six months. I 
 know I've not succeeded in the one thing I meant 
 to do in forgetting in living down a memory." 
 
 " Tell me about it," she said, with sweet sympathy, 
 drawing her hands from his and pointing to a chair. 
 " Kerr, do you realise that all this time has gone 
 since you left us without, or almost without, a word, 
 and that you have kept silence to us ever since? 
 You might have sent a line to Gren or me. I'm 
 so glad you came to see me. I wonder if you will 
 be angry if I tell you that when I have thought upon 
 your prolonged absence, I have also thought that I 
 knew something of the reason for it ? " 
 
 " You, Pat ? At this moment I almost hope you 
 may be right" 
 
 " I have thought it and that I might have guessed 
 the reason for your sudden return. I have presenti- 
 ments sometimes and I'm rarely wrong. Kerr, 
 did you go away because because of Valerie 
 Drummond ?" 
 
 She kept her eyes on his face while she asked the 
 question, though she saw that he went very white, 
 that the lines about his mouth grew drawn and hard 
 as if with pain. 
 
 242
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Yes ; fool that I was ! Pat," catching at her 
 hand again, and leaning towards her eagerly, "you 
 have seen her you know where I can find her ? I 
 came to you, though you might be an unlikely 
 person, because no one else can tell me of her." 
 
 It was Pat's turn to go a little white now, and then 
 to feel the colour mounting to her cheeks. 
 
 " Then I was right," she cried as eagerly ; " you 
 have come back to find her? Oh, Kerr! why did 
 you ever leave her ? " 
 
 " Answer me this first do you know where she is 
 can you tell me ? " 
 
 And Pat, feeling that for a time at least she must 
 keep such knowledge as was hers to herself, answered 
 deliberately 
 
 " No." 
 
 Wingate threw himself back in the chair with a sigh 
 that was like a groan. 
 
 " Pat," he said presently, " to you of all people it is 
 hardest to say why I left her." 
 
 " And if I know, Kerr " 
 
 "If you know, then you have seen her you do 
 know you could not have heard except from her 
 own lips ! For God's sake, Pat, tell me that she is 
 alive well." 
 
 " She is alive I know that ; but I do not think it 
 is very well with her. Wait I have never seen her or 
 spoken with her since that day at Delrnar when I said 
 I would drive her home. I did not I took her with 
 me to Dolly Herbertson's. But I had recognised her, 
 and she knew my name all too well." 
 
 Wingate dropped his face in his hands as though 
 he could not bear the steady glance of those clear 
 sweet eyes that were bent gravely, he thought 
 a little reproachfully, upon him ; and Pat repeated 
 
 243
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 all that had passed between her and Valerie on that 
 day repeated it without missing a point that would 
 tell in the girl's favour, with, unconsciously, a word 
 here and there which was like a stab to Wingate's 
 heart, which made regret and remorse and bitter 
 self-condemnation almost unendurable. 
 
 " She told me all that I have told you," she said 
 presently " it may be that she told you more ; but no 
 one, man or woman, with a grain of sense, ever looked 
 into that girl's eyes and read a wanton, deliberate lie. 
 From my soul I pitied her, in my heart I would have 
 trusted her implicitly : you know as well as I that the 
 woman who has been his victim never had a chance. 
 I had guessed that you loved her, Kerr ; and when 
 she told me that she wished me and all my friends to 
 forget her, I knew that she meant to leave Dale and 
 to escape from you. You remember that we saw 
 nothing of her after, and I had to go away. I did 
 hear that you and she had left the place on the same 
 day ; and oh, when you disappeared, and she too, do 
 you know that my hope was that you had taken her 
 to another country ..." 
 
 " Wait wait ! " Wingate entreated, putting up one 
 hand to implore silence. " I have condemned and 
 hated myself so long, I have thought of myself as the 
 greatest brute under heaven, and now you make me 
 understand that I have been worse than that I have 
 been a coward to the woman to whom every beat of 
 my heart belongs." 
 
 " She told you the truth, Kerr ? " 
 
 " She told me the truth." 
 
 "And not even that could win her your forgive- 
 ness ? " 
 
 " It was not a question of pardon. I tell you that 
 I have realised since that I was a coward ; it was fear
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEARS 
 
 fear of memory. I knew that life would be a hell 
 for us both, because, never could I forget! Now I 
 know," his voice sinking to a tone of helpless misery, 
 "that it had been better to live in the hell of that 
 memory, than in the agony of longing, the never 
 ending craving . . . oh, why do I talk to you like 
 this ? " he broke off abruptly, a little tinge of shamed 
 red spreading over his dark, colourless face. " Why 
 are you the only person to whom I ever open my 
 heart or " 
 
 " Because you know how much I feel for you, dear 
 old friend ; you know how well I comprehend." 
 
 He closed his fingers over her little hand in silent 
 thanks. 
 
 "All this is" he said after a little while, "was 
 very painful to you, Pat." 
 
 " For your sake for hers, yes. But you are 
 thinking of Cuthbert. My dear Kerr, except when 
 some of his villainies come home to me through any 
 of my friends, I simply do not remember that he 
 exists," with a little tip tilting of her perfect, ex- 
 pressive nose. 
 
 "Valerie did not once mention his name," he 
 said suddenly, with evident difficulty. " Nothing but 
 the bare truth passed her lips to me. An accident 
 told me who was responsible for the ruin of her life." 
 
 " And you ? " 
 
 "I lost my head a little. I think that to have 
 left her would have been altogether impossible but 
 for that accident It shook all the faith I had, it 
 roused new doubt, it it heaven forgive me, it 
 placed her in another light in my eyes for the 
 moment ; it robbed me of reason and swept aside all 
 the justice in me. I never heard her whole story I 
 don't suppose I could have listened in the frame of 
 
 4S
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 mind I was in then. She was so careful to con- 
 demn herself alone, to raise the barrier which she 
 had built between us, and to spare all others. I 
 see it now it shames me bitterly but I would 
 not see it then." 
 
 " I knew she could be very loyal," put in Pat, with 
 her eyes on his. 
 
 "God bless you for your trust in her for your 
 kindly words of her," he said, bringing his hands 
 gently yet heavily on her shoulders. 
 
 " I did not mean to say all this to you. I never 
 dreamed that you knew and guessed so much. I 
 life is not life without her, and though I have fought 
 against that knowledge, it has gained the upper-hand 
 at last I came home to find her. Her servant her 
 former servants know nothing. I believe they 
 speak the truth, because they seem genuinely upset 
 and anxious about her no one knows anything. I 
 don't know why I should have thought you might" 
 
 " I have thought of her and you a great deal. 
 I wish you had not gone away, because we should 
 have been sure to speak of this, and and things 
 might have been different I I did hear very 
 vaguely of her once . . ." 
 
 " That it was not well with her," swiftly. 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " Are you hiding anything from me, Pat ? " 
 
 Pat kept her tell-tale eyes lowered while she 
 answered, " No." Then, nervously, she added : " She 
 had no one but those old ladies, who were not likely 
 to sympathise; her life from infancy had evidently 
 not been a sheltered one. She went through hard 
 times, and I think she became a model. I wonder," 
 said Pat, dreamily, a little irrelevantly, but with 
 quaint curiosity, "why men are so cruelly unjust to 
 
 (46
 
 NOB, ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 us always even where they love greatly? Why 
 are they, whose sins are almost all committed 
 against women, so incapable of leniency, of common 
 justice? There are many through whom a woman 
 sinks to the lowest depths ; there are none who 
 will hold out a hand to lift that woman up. I said 
 to Valerie Drummond, ' Don't coast downhill because 
 you think all the world is against you.' But what 
 could she think, what did anything matter when 
 the one soul who loved her, and whom she loved, 
 the only creature who could have lifted her up, or 
 saved her, turned away because he had not courage 
 to help her live down the past, and because he 
 feared, not for her, but for himself the future ? " 
 
 " Every word you utter is just and true," Wingate 
 said. " I have admitted it I was a coward. No 
 regret can help her or me, no remorse can wipe out 
 these six months. I deserve your contempt, Pat 
 If it is not too deep for me, can will you not try 
 to help me find her now ? Can love come too late ? 
 At least help me to think that it may not this 
 once." 
 
 "I was a brute to you forgive me, Kerr," Pat 
 said hastily, while the great tears that had gathered 
 in her eyes fell down her cheeks. "You must let 
 me think a little. You must leave me now, and 
 and come to me the moment I send for you. I 
 I may be able to help you, but at present it is not 
 certain. Will you hold yourself in readiness to come 
 to me at a moment's notice, wherever I may be ? " 
 
 " Of course." 
 
 " And I can find you ? " 
 
 " At my old rooms I never go anywhere else." 
 
 " Good ! I am so glad to have seen you and 
 talked like this with you. Good-bye for the present." 
 
 247
 
 NOE ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 Directly she was alone she ordered the carriage 
 to come round at once. 
 
 " The idea I got into my head was the right one 
 after all," she said to herself. " He has come back 
 to her. It cannot it shall not be too late. Whatever 
 happens, he must not know." 
 
 Then, with her heart beating heavily and her 
 hands trembling with excitement, she got into her 
 carriage, and gave the address of her husband's 
 rooms in Knightsbridge.
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 XXV 
 
 THE rain poured down steadily. As Pat 
 drove beneath the arch that led to the 
 courtyard overlooking which were her 
 husband's rooms, it made a small river 
 which men were sweeping rapidly away with great 
 brooms. She passed into the hall with an un- 
 consciously haughty air, and when the lift boy 
 inquired where she would be taken, she made no 
 reply, but put out a detaining hand as they reached 
 the floor she wanted. 
 
 The bell-push might have been sticky from the 
 way she touched it ; and when Lessing appeared she 
 merely said, " Tell your master at once," and picked 
 her way through the hall with slightly uplifted skirts, 
 as she would have picked it through the mire of the 
 streets. 
 
 Brabazon came to her at once, and it was plain 
 from his surprised face that a visit so totally un- 
 expected robbed him momentarily of speech and 
 breath. 
 
 " You ! " he said at last, and with a swift, rather 
 nervous glance round. 
 
 "Your servant must have given my name he 
 knows me." 
 
 " He did. But well, with Lessing, it's a sort of 
 courtesy title up here." 
 
 Pat bit her lip. Her feet almost took her instantly 
 249
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 to the door, but she remembered, and remained 
 by the flower-filled fireplace. 
 
 "To what am I indebted, etc.," Brabazon added 
 in a moment. "Won't you sit down, Pat? That 
 window chair is a very comfortable one. May I 
 order you tea you so rarely honour me ..." 
 
 " Nothing and I don't want to sit down." 
 
 Her husband shrugged his shoulders. He was 
 taking in every detail of her beauty, her perfect style, 
 her every grace of movement, and her exquisite 
 toilette, and asking himself why it was that he never 
 could do much more than merely admire her. 
 
 " You're looking very lovely, Pat" 
 
 "Which is no business of yours. I did not come 
 up here to hear it." 
 
 " No, but you came here of your own accord. 
 Now, ladies who do that are prepared to be very 
 sweet to me ..." 
 
 Pat gave him one look which had the effect of the 
 lash upon a cur; the next moment Brabazon was 
 laughing softly, but his face was tinged with dusky 
 red. 
 
 " I came to ask you this what have you done 
 with Valerie Drummond?" 
 
 "Whew ! Good Lord 1 I say, Pat," sinking into a 
 chair languidly, and throwing into his voice a touch 
 of real pathos, "yovtre not going to start on a new 
 tack?" 
 
 " I asked you a simple question for no other 
 reason than that I want to know answer me, 
 please." 
 
 " What do you know about the Drummond girl ? " 
 
 Pat made a gesture of suppressed rage. 
 
 " I know that you ruined her life in the beginning, 
 and that you've contrived to get her into your power 
 
 250
 
 NOB ALL YOUE TEAES 
 
 again after she once escaped you. I can find her with 
 time and trouble, but I want to save that, and so I 
 ask you " 
 
 " You're a most amazing woman." 
 
 " Will you tell me ? " 
 
 " Not off hand. I must know more of your reasons 
 for wishing to find the girl. Besides, how do you 
 know I can tell you ? " 
 
 " Cuthbert," she said, coming a very little nearer to 
 him, "we have never been even the merest friends. 
 You have openly insulted me, and I as openly despised 
 you. I certainly have never asked you a favour 
 I'm going to ask you one to-day, and since it is the 
 first, and you owe me much, you might grant it." 
 Brabazon got out of the chair and bowed ; then he 
 remained standing, and greatly wondering. " I want 
 you to tell me where you are hiding Valerie 
 Drummond ; and I tell you frankly that I want to 
 know, that I may go to her. I met her once, and 
 I pitied her desperately, because she was one of 
 your victims. At that time the chance of a new 
 life and a happy one was opening to her, but fate 
 was against her. I'll stake my life that, having 
 ruined hers, you cared little what became of her. 
 I'm positive in my mind, if I know you at all, that 
 simply because she made the effort to escape you, 
 you left no stone unturned till you found her, and 
 got her once more into your power." 
 
 " In a great deal of what you say you are perfectly 
 right," he admitted, with a fine smile. 
 
 He was casting his memory swiftly back to the 
 past, and clearing up one or two little mysteries 
 which had slightly baffled him. 
 
 " But you are not in love with her she holds no 
 charm for you now ? " 
 
 251
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 This time he laughed aloud, but he bowed again, 
 and looked at her very hard and curiously. 
 
 "Your powers of discernment do you infinite 
 credit, Pat" 
 
 " That means that I am right I want to separate 
 her life from yours in plain words, I want you 
 to let her go." 
 
 " I wish you'd sit down, Pat I must stand while 
 you do, and, upon my word, I'm limp with amaze- 
 ment" 
 
 "You need not be," returned Pat, sitting on the 
 edge of the window sill, while Brabazon threw himself 
 down with a grateful murmur into the nearest and 
 most comfortable chair. "What you have said 
 amounts to telling me that I am right Why don't 
 you answer me frankly ? " 
 
 " I will ; but first what if she should not be 
 willing to be ' let go ' ? What if life has dealt hardly 
 with her and her health? If she is alone and utterly 
 without means of any sort ? " 
 
 " She won't be when once I have seen her, when 
 she is under my care." 
 
 " You are posing in a new role, Pat dressing the 
 Good Samaritan for a new part ..." 
 
 " You said you would answer me frankly go on." 
 
 Brabazon sat up to dive into his coat pocket for 
 a cigarette case. 
 
 " May I smoke ? " he asked. " Will you ? " 
 
 " No ; you may." 
 
 " Do let me order you some tea." 
 
 Pat's temper was rising, but she held it under with 
 iron will. She would gain nothing with this man 
 by anger ; and already tears of vexation, tears born 
 of fear that she would be baffled, were standing in 
 her eyes. He did not notice them. If he had, he 
 
 252
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 would have decided that women always cried when 
 they did not get their own way at once. 
 
 " I want only your answer," she persisted. 
 
 " You are a very wilful little woman, Pat ; and if 
 I tell you some things that you don't like to hear, 
 don't blame me. One's wife is hardly the person 
 with whom ..." 
 
 " Your wife you may safely regard as the greatest 
 of strangers." 
 
 Brabazon's answer was to smile, and to settle 
 himself more comfortably in his chair. 
 
 " Very well," he said. " You say you have met 
 her and heard her story." 
 
 " Only part of it" 
 
 " That part which paints me blackest You know 
 that she attempted escape from her mode of life at 
 the moment, and from me. Escape is the word 
 you used perhaps she taught it you why, I cannot 
 imagine. I take it that not long after that ' escape ' 
 was effected, she met with a man who would have 
 married her, but that she was absurdly and quite 
 unnecessarily truthful concerning the past. That 
 sort of thing may be very admirable and honourable, 
 but it does not pay a woman. Mind you, I do 
 not know this, she, no one has ever actually told me, 
 but certain things happened which led me to putting 
 two and two together, and making fifty like any 
 feminine arithmetician. Added to that, one day, 
 about six months ago now, a man you and I both 
 know, met me unexpectedly. He behaved deucedly 
 badly in the meanest and worst taste, by worming 
 his way into my rooms these and attacking me 
 on the same subject as you have attacked me 
 to-day " 
 
 " Valerie Drummond ? " Pat broke in breathlessly. 
 253
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "Valerie Drummond. The upshot of it was that 
 he took me at a disadvantage, got the better 
 of me " 
 
 "You mean he thrashed you," said Pat uncom- 
 promisingly, and with so much real interest that at 
 another moment Brabazon would have laughed. 
 
 " If you like to put it in those words yes." 
 
 " His name ? " 
 
 " Kerr Wingate." 
 
 " Ah ! " It was only one sharply whispered word, 
 but as it left Pat's parted lips, it seemed to find a 
 strange echo at the opposite side of the room, an echo 
 that startled them both into looking up. 
 
 "You see," Brabazon went on, "he gave me no 
 chance he did not let me take my revenge at the 
 moment, he sneaked away like a coward when I was 
 powerless to prevent him. But he had opened my 
 eyes concerning the lady, and I knew when I found 
 her that I'd make a harder blow go home to his heart, 
 if he cared for her, than he'd ever made go home to 
 my flesh. 
 
 " I did find her not without a lot of trouble ; I 
 found her in failing health, in the worst sort of poverty, 
 dragging out an existence in company with some 
 young workers she had known in her father's time. 
 She stuck to her guns for a bit, I admit; she lived in 
 her squalid den, and sat half naked in draughts and 
 bitterly cold studios to Valdor and any other man 
 who'd pay her a few shillings a week as model ; she 
 ruined her health and nearly her beauty, because for 
 some extraordinary reason she'd determined to tread 
 the path of strictest virtue for the sake of a man who 
 after all had behaved a good deal worse to her than I 
 had. He cast her off I did not; but, with the 
 inconsistency of woman, she desired to escape me !
 
 NOE ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 " Well, as I tell you, I found her, and I tried all I 
 knew to induce her to leave her miserable life for a 
 better one of my making not, as you shrewdly guess, 
 because I was in love with her any more, not because 
 I was sorry for her, not because she eluded me for a 
 time you were wrong there, Pat, but because I was 
 determined to hit home my blow at the man through 
 her. She was adamant for a while poof! it was 
 weary work. And then I discovered a weak spot 
 the only way to touch her heart It was through her 
 ' boys,' as she called them those men who had been 
 good to her when she was alone and deserted. I let 
 her see how well I could help them, how I could set 
 one upon the actual road to fortune, but that I was 
 not going to move till she had agreed to my proposi- 
 tions. She weakened, but she did not give in. And 
 then I played the trump card, one day. It does not 
 sound much as I tell you now, but the whole situation 
 lent itself to it I invented a little story of Wingate's 
 marriage said I'd been to his wedding. I was not 
 to know that she had ever even heard of him, so my 
 shot went well home. That was about the finish of 
 the struggle. Gad ! all her strength gave out then 
 anyone could have led her with a hair. She bought 
 success for her boys she went down that they might 
 rise ; and do you know what they did," leaning 
 forward, and looking right into his wife's tear-dimmed 
 eyes, " when they found she'd been deceiving them, as 
 they called it, when she went from them never saying 
 how her only thought had been for them, they 
 practically turned their backs upon her. Her 
 surrender is not particularly flattering to myself, as 
 you see, but all I had played for was a certain power 
 over her if she were a hag of ninety she could not 
 be much less to me. The man had left England. I
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEARS 
 
 have but waited for his return, to flaunt her in his face 
 to let him know that once more she belongs to me 
 and presently to cast her off, to let her sink to what 
 she may, for him to pick up out of the mire or leave 
 in it You want to save her? You're a trifle too 
 late, Pat wait till my work is over, then your 
 opportunity will come." 
 
 He got up as he spoke, and gave his shoulders a 
 great shake. All the indolence had died out of his 
 face, out of his tired eyes. There was the savageness 
 of a beast in them, and in the cruel expression of his 
 mouth, and Pat slid from her seat on the window-sill, 
 and stood for a moment holding the curtain, while 
 she fought with a feeling of positive sickness. 
 
 "Cuthbert, don't do it Give up so hideous, so 
 low a revenge. Look, I have not the claim of 
 common friendship to ask you this, but I do ask it 
 I beg it of you," she implored, weakly, because she 
 felt it was hopelessly. "God knows that your life 
 has been so evil that you will need mercy one day. 
 Do what I ask you. Let this one thing count to 
 your good. Let her go. Do not injure her further. 
 Such intentions as you avow towards her are worse 
 than brutal Let me go to her. The man," looking 
 on the ground, M may never return." 
 
 Brabazon looked on the ground too, and an odd 
 smile crept round the corners of his lips. 
 
 " No, Wingate may never return. When he does, 
 he will have something to learn." 
 
 "You won't hear me?" Pat said, drawing her 
 breath hard. 
 
 " I am sorry. You do me much honour ; but, ask 
 me nearly anything else. You need not have heard 
 that story, but you insisted. And I told it to you 
 so that you should not trouble to try to move me, 
 
 056
 
 NOB, ALL YOUE TEARS 
 
 There is this left to you. You can find her, though 
 it won't be easy, and you can put her on her guard. 
 You can tell the story far and wide, only it won't be 
 very nice telling for you my wife." 
 
 " You make me ill," Pat said breathlessly. " You 
 make me ashamed of having set foot in this loathsome 
 place that you live in." 
 
 Then, without another word or glance, she groped 
 her way to the door, which Brabazon held open, and 
 to the main door, which he also held open. 
 
 That closed, he turned with great haste into 
 another room on his left A quick exclamation 
 escaped him. 
 
 Valerie was standing by the window. She was 
 only very white, otherwise she was her usual self. 
 
 " My dearest, how long have you been here ? " 
 
 "Three minutes by the clock," returned Valerie, 
 with a little smile. " Lessing said you were engaged. 
 I was a little late, but your note asking me to come 
 up was late too." 
 
 u I know. Pardon me a moment." 
 
 He went quickly out of the room, shutting the 
 door behind him. 
 
 Lessing was just taking in some letters. His 
 master dragged him into the room which Pat had 
 vacated. 
 
 "How long has that lady been there?" he 
 demanded in a whisper, with his eyes on the 
 curtains that hid dividing doors. Lessing's knees, 
 which had been knocking together for the last 
 three-quarters of an hour, became suddenly strong. 
 
 " Two perhaps three minutes, sir, when you went 
 into the room," he returned, having had his ear to 
 the door and ascertained what Valerie had said 
 
 E
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEAKS 
 
 herself. "I had to say you were engaged, sir," 
 with a deprecatory gesture. 
 
 " Oh, that's all right," Brabazon murmured, with a 
 relieved sigh. " Only, if you took to making idiotic 
 mistakes, you'd have to get out of this place." 
 
 He moved through the doorway. In the hall he 
 paused thoughtfully. 
 
 " I shall want you to attend to that business I 
 explained a little earlier than I thought" 
 
 "Very good, sir." 
 
 " Everything ready ? You're certain there can't be 
 a hitch?" 
 
 "Not of my causing, sir," with pathetically 
 uplifted eyebrows. 
 
 " Good. Now, bring tea and admit no one." 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 Lessing went into his own room. He shut the 
 door, and he wiped away the great beads of 
 perspiration that stood out on his forehead. 
 
 " Lord ! if he knew that she come in pretty well 
 just behind his wife, he'd flay me ! But he wouldn't 
 have thanked me to have showed her in bang 
 atop of the other! And she may have heard every 
 word they said which it wouldn't be Mrs B. that 'd 
 spare him ! But if she did, she's keepin' it to 
 herself, and lying low over it She told him she'd 
 been in the room three minutes by the clock 
 thank God I listened ! And I suppose she did not 
 bargain for his asking me 1 Whew 1 * 
 
 5
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXVI 
 
 DARKNESS fell early on this particular 
 evening. The clouds that had been heavy 
 all day grew still heavier with approaching 
 night ; and still the rain poured in torrents, 
 washing the streets, dulling the hum of traffic, driving 
 all those who could be driven home, or under cover. 
 
 Wingate, after his interview with Pat, had gone 
 straight to his own rooms ; some vague half hope 
 seemed to keep him there, something in Pat's 
 manner that had given him that hope, something 
 that had held a promise, and that kept him waiting, 
 watching the clock, for a possible message from her. 
 
 His head ached with thinking. He had even tired 
 his limbs with his constant tramp through the rooms. 
 And now, as he turned away from the window and 
 looked at his watch again, he gave his shoulders an 
 impatient shake. 
 
 It was sheer folly to expect to hear yet and 
 when he did, it would be perhaps to hear no good 
 news. But Pat had bidden him hold himself in 
 readiness for her message Pat, who had counted 
 on better success than her plans had met with 
 and he was here waiting. 
 
 Ten minutes later the hall bell rang; and 
 Wingate caught himself holding his breath till his 
 own door opened. 
 
 " A boy messenger to see you, sir." 
 
 " Bring him in here."
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 The boy came not the most intelligent looking 
 type. 
 
 " Are you Mr Wingate, sir ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " The lady that sent me said I wasn't to give the 
 message to no one but you, sir. Will you please go 
 to this address at once," producing the back of one 
 of his printed tickets, on which was written something 
 in pencil, evidently scribbled by himself to refresh 
 his memory. " She'll be there waitin' for you ; and 
 will you please ask for Mrs Brabazon I was to be 
 sure and say only Mrs Brabazon." 
 
 Wingate held the paper to the light ; it bore 
 Brabazon's address in Knightsbridge. 
 
 "Are you sure this is the right address," he 
 questioned, a little puzzled. 
 
 " Yes, sir. The lady was there herself when she 
 sent me." 
 
 " Were you to take an answer ? " 
 
 " No, sir. You was to go at once, sir." 
 
 "All right. Here you are," tossing him half-a- 
 crown. " As you go out, send me up a cab." 
 
 " Yes, sir; thank you, sir." 
 
 "Pat there? Pat in her husband's rooms?" 
 Wingate said over and over again to himself per- 
 plexedly. " I wonder what can have happened 
 something unforeseen." The thought of Brabazon 
 made his blood boil ; the knowledge that Pat 
 evidently wanted him at once hurried his steps. He 
 put on his hat and a light mackintosh coat, and 
 turning the collar high, stepped into the cab that he 
 found waiting for him. Then still puzzling, still 
 feeling anger uppermost at the mere memory of the 
 man to whose rooms he was being swiftly borne, 
 he lay back in the corner, looking with unseeing eyes 
 
 60
 
 NOB ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 upon the roads and pavements that shone like glass 
 with the myriad lights twinkling over them. 
 
 Arrived at his destination, he sprang out of the cab, 
 passed rapidly between the doors held back for him, 
 and, declining the lift, ran up the stairs. 
 
 Lessing admitted him a man who knew Wingate 
 far better than he was known to him. 
 
 " Mrs Brabazon ? " Wingate inquired, putting his 
 hat down on the hall seat. 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 Lessing threw open a door at the far end of the 
 long hall, and the visitor passed into a room that was 
 in total darkness. When the lights, which were turned 
 on from outside, shone full in his face, he was a little 
 dazzled, but as his eyes grew used to them he saw, 
 with considerable surprise, that he was in a bedroom 
 a large, luxurious bedroom, where the blinds were 
 drawn, where the furnishings were light and tasteful, 
 and spoke of a woman's touch. 
 
 Before the door there was a huge screen, in the 
 fireplace flowers, and drawn close to the end of the 
 bed a large sofa on which a woman lay. A woman 
 wrapped lightly in a long gown of white gauzy 
 material made heavy with lace a woman whose 
 mass of flame-coloured hair spread over the pillows 
 in rough disorder, whose hands hung down limply, 
 and whose little bare feet were encased in soft blue 
 velvet slippers. 
 
 With a hoarse cry Wingate took one step to the 
 side of the sofa and bent down over the woman, the 
 single word "Val" leaving his lips in a gasp of 
 mingled horror and joy, and sudden, terrible, clear 
 comprehension. For a moment the room spun 
 round him, the walls seemed to be falling in on him- 
 Through a mist, through the blackness as of night, 
 
 261
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 through sickening delirium that momentarily closed 
 on sight and sense, he felt her soft breath on his 
 cheek. As one coming slowly out of a dream, he 
 saw her lying there in the abandonment of sleep. 
 His hand closed on and buried itself in the masses of 
 her hair, his lips breathed her name again, and then 
 he remembered that he was beneath Brabazon's roof, 
 that he had asked for Mrs Brabazon, and he had 
 been conducted here. 
 
 With a sudden revulsion of feeling he stood 
 upright, his hand flung off the strands of hair wound 
 round it 
 
 She stirred, as though his intent glance, the sound 
 of his voice, woke her from deepest sleep ; her eyes 
 opened slowly, then widely and more widely ; a little 
 cry left her lips, and then, as the man took a step 
 backwards, she struggled to a sitting posture. 
 Madness took possession of Wingate, a very demon 
 of rage, in which was strangely blended a sense of 
 deadliest insult, and keenest, cruellest disappointment, 
 a dashing down of some vague, perhaps groundless 
 hope that had come to him with the promise held in 
 Pat's sweet eyes : but still a hope, a possibility of 
 something worth the name of life in the future. 
 
 All had been snatched from him in this moment 
 not by degrees, but in one blinding blow that left 
 him powerless to reason ; only conscious that he 
 had been cheated, made sport of, insulted, trapped 
 into coming to this place that he might look upon 
 the wreck of his lost love lost by his own folly 
 that he niight find her beneath the very roof of the 
 man who had ruined her life and his. 
 
 If she had touched him he must have flung her 
 from him; but she only strove to reach him like a 
 woman dragging herself out of a hideous dream ; she 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 only stretched her hands to him like a drowning 
 creature seeking to clutch at any straw that might 
 mean safety. 
 
 You you ! " she breathed faintly, while he went 
 farther out of her reach, and never saw that, as he 
 flung himself through the door-way, she fell face down 
 across the edge of the sofa. 
 
 Lessing heard the hall door close, close with a 
 bang that shook the ceilings. He had sufficient 
 presence of mind to keep out of the way. 
 
 And the crash roused Valerie. 
 
 She stood up uncertainly, holding to the end of 
 the bed for support. There was a curious heaviness 
 about her head and eyes, and just at first memory 
 would not come. She threw back the loose hair 
 from her face and looked round the room. When last 
 she could remember anything, she was pouring out 
 tea for herself and Brabazon ; now she was clothed 
 in a filmy garment strange to her, her hair was loose, 
 her feet were bare ; and thrown over a chair were her 
 clothes. Her mouth was dry and hot. She looked 
 at the clock and saw that it was nearing night. 
 
 And while, with her head resting on her hand, her 
 eyes were fastened on the floor, tracing the pattern 
 of the carpet in search of some answer to her 
 thoughts, they fell upon a dark object close to the 
 sofa's head. 
 
 Stooping to pick it up, she saw that it was a 
 pocket book ; opening it, she saw first Wingate's 
 name and the address of his rooms an address 
 that burned itself into her brain. Then all at once 
 her mind became clear she seemed to understand. 
 She went across the room with the stealthy step of 
 a cat, and slipped the pocket-book among the folds 
 of her gown hanging over the chair back. That
 
 NOK ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 done, she crept back to the sofa, stretching her limbs 
 along it, and letting her head fall back on the pillows 
 and her hair over them. 
 
 Her eyes closed. Her mind went back several 
 hours. She was reading a letter from Brabazon, 
 which bade her come to him here ; she was making 
 the journey, she was entering these rooms, she was 
 marking Lessing's evident agitation as she passed 
 him, without invitation, into the nearest room, and 
 heard his information that his master was engaged 
 for a few minutes. She was again standing by the 
 window, with that weary indifference to all that 
 happened upon her, which was part of her life now, 
 and her ears were suddenly caught by the sound of 
 a remembered voice. She was listening, she was 
 creeping towards the heavy curtains and drawing 
 them gently aside while she leant her ear to the 
 dividing doors. She was listening she was hearing 
 again every word of Brabazon's conversation with his 
 wife. And even as she lay here, her blood tingled, 
 her breath came short, as it had done that afternoon. 
 She was listening to Brabazon's story, told with such 
 coarse brutality, and broken upon every now and 
 again by Pat's sweet, pleading voice she was 
 listening to her pass through the hall, and then to 
 Brabazon's anxious inquiry as to how long she, 
 Valerie, had been in the house. She was telling 
 him but a few minutes, and even then she was lying 
 instinctively, that she might gain time for thought. 
 She remembered then that Brabazon had taken 
 away her tea and told her that she looked ill, and 
 had ordered Lessing to bring her some wine. From 
 that moment she remembered no more. 
 
 She could have sprung to her feet without an 
 effort now, but she forced herself to keep still. She 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 understood his plot all his plans. She realised, 
 with bitter hopelessness, that they had been all too 
 successful. 
 
 And still she lay there, a thought coming to her 
 that gradually took shape, that took firm hold of 
 her, a determination that no power on earth could 
 have set aside. One moment her cheeks tingled 
 and her eyes shone like fire, another and she was 
 white as death, the beads of cold perspiration 
 standing out on her face and on her throat 
 
 And while her hands clenched and her teeth set, 
 she heard a distant door close softly, Brabazon's 
 voice lowered as he spoke to Lessing. And she 
 stretched her limbs at greater ease, and closed her 
 eyes, and let her hands fall limply to her sides 
 once more. 
 
 Brabazon, bending over her, only saw that she 
 still seemed to sleep very heavily. 
 
 **
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXVII 
 
 SHE heard him moving softly about the room ; 
 she saw through her eyelashes, that she 
 lifted scarcely the twentieth part of an 
 inch, that once he stood before the mirror 
 studying his face with evident satisfaction, and 
 brushing his hair down smoothly on each side. 
 Presently she heard him speaking to Lessing, 
 telling him that it would be hours before madam 
 awoke, and that she was not to be disturbed. 
 After that, silence reigned throughout the rooms. 
 The lights were switched off again from outside 
 darkness and silence fell, silence save for the distant 
 rumble of traffic, for the steady wash of the rain. 
 
 Whether Brabazon remained in his rooms or went 
 out she did not know ; she heard and saw no signs 
 of life. 
 
 Whatever the drug administered to her, it had 
 not done its work fully ; still, it left her dazed, 
 more than ordinarily weak, sensible of all that 
 might be going on about her, yet powerless to stir. ' 
 Yet memory had come ; she had the full power to 
 reason; and lying there she made the most of it. 
 
 The hours crept by; one after another she heard 
 them chimed out in different tones and times by 
 several different clocks. 
 
 She lay there as one awaiting death might lie 
 through the night, while the watchers dozed off into 
 
 966
 
 NOR ALL YOUR, TEARS 
 
 fitful sleep, and before the fading eyes all life from 
 its earliest recollections spread out, a picture from 
 which she turned with a shudder. She lay there 
 in the pain of memory, of useless regret, of the 
 knowledge of all her life might have held, and of 
 all she had missed. She lay there with no sound 
 coming to her but the regular ticking of the clocks, 
 the sough of the wind, the beating down of the 
 rain on the window panes, the roar of the traffic 
 beyond. And while her eyes unclosed, looking 
 upward into the darkness, it seemed as though life 
 were indeed fading from her, that death was close 
 at hand. Of death she had no dread ; she would 
 have welcomed it, but of death alone, in solitude. 
 A mortal sense of terrible loneliness, a certain fear, 
 stole on her, leaving her paralysed, strengthless. 
 
 The night wore on. If she dreamed, she did not 
 know; she only understood presently that new 
 strength had come to her, that her way, all at once, 
 had become plain, sure. 
 
 She rose from her couch, she groped about the 
 room in search of means to give her light ; she found 
 the bell, and would have sounded it, but that at 
 that moment she heard Brabazon's voice it was 
 loud, blustering, as when he had been drinking 
 heavily raised in some order to Lessing, who, 
 evidently, was not at hand. 
 
 Valerie had found her way to the door, and there, 
 just outside it, she stood facing Brabazon, a ghostly 
 figure that startled him into the utterance of a half 
 savage, half frightened oath. 
 
 " Good Lord ! " he exclaimed thickly, dropping his 
 dripping hat and coat upon the floor of the hall. 
 " What the devil oh, to be sure hanged if I hadn't 
 forgotten you, Val. Better now ? " 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 He passed his hand restlessly over his eyes, and 
 made an effort to pull himself together ; and she 
 stood leaning against the woodwork, her hands 
 clenched in the folds of her gown, her eyes narrowed, 
 not with the heaviness of sleep, but with calm 
 calculation, and her body a little bent, as a cat 
 bends when it is about to spring. She moved nearer 
 to him. 
 
 " I'm all right," she said quietly, not asking a 
 question, not showing any surprise or bewilderment 
 at finding herself here in this position. "Why," 
 putting her hand on his arm, "you are awfully 
 wet." 
 
 "Beast of a night coming down in bucketfuls. 
 Good Lord ! it's nearly two o'clock. I swear I forgot 
 you, Val! Only just got up? You are cold and 
 hungry. Come in here," pushing open the dining- 
 room door, "and have a glass of the Boy, anyhow. 
 Dashed if I didn't think you were a ghost standing 
 there." 
 
 It was plain that his mind was not very clear, 
 and that he was making an effort to clear it She 
 followed him into the room, drawing her flimsy gown 
 tightly round her, and never once taking her eyes off 
 him. Supper was daintily spread, as it was always 
 spread, for four people, after twelve o'clock. Every 
 delicacy that could be left cold lay under snowy 
 white cloths ; on the sideboard were wines, and 
 spirits, and mineral waters, and great bowls of ice, 
 fast melting away. An intense thirst parched her 
 throat ; when Brabazon's back was turned to her she 
 drank swiftly, quietly, from one of the ice-pails, 
 holding its frosted sides with trembling hands, and 
 replacing it softly on the linen cloth. 
 
 She sat down at one side of the table, and watched 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 him while he let the cork fly from a bottle, pushing 
 her glass towards him, which he filled, but which she 
 did not touch again. While he still stood he also 
 filled his own glass twice, and drained it to the last 
 drop. 
 
 " That's better," he declared, throwing himself back 
 in the chair at the head of the table, and looking 
 at her with tired, rather pink-rimmed eyes. "What 
 a liar I am ! I told someone to-day who the deuce 
 was it that you'd lost your beauty! Lost your 
 beauty ! You ought to see yourself now, Val, with 
 that white thing on, and all the red hair flying 
 about Gad ! That's how you ought to have sat 
 to Valdor and those other chaps. How'd you like 
 to ? What if you had to, eh ? " 
 
 u I don't understand you." 
 
 He had put the little breast of a bird upon her plate, 
 and she was moving it about idly with her fork, but 
 not attempting to eat it Now, as he leant one 
 elbow unsteadily on the table and brought his hot 
 face closer to hers, the fingers of her right hand 
 slid softly between the china and glass, and drew 
 towards her the long, heavy knife set at one side 
 of his plate. He did not see the movement, he saw 
 only her great burning eyes, a little indistinctly. 
 
 " No, but you will ! You've never asked me yet 
 why I sent for you to-day . . . was it to-day ? " he 
 said. " Hang it ! my head's like a furnace ! " 
 
 " Why did you ? " she asked, very quietly ; but her 
 eyes suddenly met his, so that he saw them for an 
 instant clearly, and there was something in their 
 expression that seemed to startle the man a little. 
 He drew his arm off the table, and before he 
 answered, re- filled and emptied his glass again. 
 
 " I'd got a plan ! Gad ! how easily it worked 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 after all. What'd you say, Val, if I told you you 
 took a few drops in the wine Lessing brought you 
 to-day that sent you into that pleasant sleep? 
 What'd you say if . . ." 
 
 " I'll tell you," she replied, still with intense calm 
 that somehow troubled him vaguely. "You need 
 not trouble to explain. I knew your plan five 
 minutes after I entered these rooms. I heard all 
 you and your wife said." 
 
 " You heard ! You and Lessing lied to me, then ? " 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " I half suspected it ; no, I didn't, though. I 
 feared it in the beginning when I found you here, 
 but I believed him damn him 1 ... not that it 
 matters much." 
 
 "Not at all!" 
 
 He looked at her sharply. Her quiet words had 
 sobered him a little, but sobering had the effect of 
 robbing him of his good temper. 
 
 " Well, you know, then ? " looking at her with 
 narrowed eyes. 
 
 " I'll tell you what you don't know. While you 
 slept in yonder room, while I took care you should 
 sleep, I brought your one-time lover to see you. 
 I trapped him easily enough. I brought him here, 
 to see you here ! I was curious to know what he'd 
 do he left you as he left you before. Do you 
 know that in this very room he thrashed me like 
 he'd thrash a hound? Do you know I swore to 
 make him pay for it and through you? You see 
 I can wait you see I don't mind time and trouble." 
 
 He leant forward again and laughed ; he watched 
 the whitening of her face, her lips, to the whiteness 
 of death ; he saw the dark shadows under her eyes 
 growing darker; and, his voice sinking to a hoarse 
 
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 NOR, ALL YOL3, TEARS 
 
 whisper, he laid before her all his intentions towards 
 her, more clearly, more brutally, than he had laid 
 them before Pat 
 
 And she never once spoke. Only her breath 
 came more heavily ; her eyes never left his, her 
 fingers clasped and unclasped over the strong, 
 slender blade of the knife still beneath them. She 
 let him speak on, uninterrupted, well knowing that 
 he was hardly conscious of what he was saying ; 
 she watched him fill and drain his glass repeatedly; 
 she saw his eyes grow dim, and that he swayed to 
 catch sight of her face as though it eluded him. 
 And she did not move when he bent nearer, till 
 his breath was on her cheek, his hot mouth almost 
 against her ear. 
 
 But it was when he had finished speaking, when, 
 with half closed eyes, and a low, insulting laugh, he 
 threw himself against the back of his chair, and 
 regarded her with half amusement, that Valerie 
 stirred. 
 
 With a low, choking cry, with a spring lithe and 
 swift and sure as a panther's, she threw herself 
 forward, with all the strength of wild, ungovernable 
 passion, straight across his breast The sudden, 
 unexpected attack gave him no time for resistance, 
 the weight of her body hurled across his snapped 
 the back of the chair, and sent them both to the 
 ground. A savage oath left his lips, his arm went 
 out to thrust her off him ; the next moment the 
 words he sought to utter died away in a short, 
 sharp, gasping sound. Valerie knelt above him, 
 watching the blood flow swiftly out over his throat, 
 a dark stain growing larger on the whiteness of 
 his collar ; stooping only once, with a low laugh, 
 hideous in its harshness, to drive still farther home,
 
 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 in its bed beneath his ear, the knife that her fingers 
 had never ceased to fondle. 
 
 She rose to her feet and stood looking down upon 
 him, laughing quietly while the fluttering breath died 
 away, while the lips grew blue and rigid, while the 
 face grew set and still and stern in death. 
 
 Then she moved. She took from the table a glass 
 and dashed it straight into the wide-open, staring 
 eyes that looked up into hers without sight and 
 without life. 
 
 The clock struck the half-hour past two. The 
 sound the only one stirring the dead silence roused 
 her, struck home to her heart a frightful fear. 
 
 Moving cautiously, yet swiftly, she passed into the 
 hall, switching off the lights as she went. That 
 which burned in the hall itself was shaded and dim, 
 but by it she saw that she was quite alone. But 
 while she listened, to her wild fancy, through the 
 booming in her ears, there seemed to come the sound 
 of a soft movement from the direction of the servants' 
 quarters. In front of her there hung a cloak a 
 woman's, long and dark. Without pausing to think, 
 she lifted it from its hook, flung it round her shoulders, 
 and drew the cape of it over her head. Not hesitating, 
 not giving one backward glance, she drew back the 
 latch of the door, and passed into the silence of the 
 outer hall. She sped down the stairs light and swift 
 as a bird ; the glass doors were unbarred ; the night 
 porter sat fast asleep in the lift. In the courtyard 
 one lamp burned, its light made uncertain by the 
 high wind and the steady downpour of rain. Beyond, 
 the traffic seemed to have ceased; the streets streaming 
 with water, deserted. The rain came down in torrents 
 that made every object seen as through a veil ; here 
 and there Valerie caught the glint of a policeman's 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 helmet, the black, wet brightness of his cape as he 
 stood far back in a doorway for a moment's shelter. 
 But no living creature passed her as she sped on, her 
 white gown held close under the dark cloak, her bare 
 feet in their soft, soaked velvet covering, making no 
 sound. The wind increased in violence, the rain swept 
 in great sheets full in her face, but Valerie paused not 
 even for breath ; she sped on through the night, not 
 with the wildness of fear going on and on, anywhere, 
 at random, but to a haven of rest and safety. 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 XXVIII 
 
 KERR WING ATE sat by his writing table, 
 his arms thrown down upon it, his head 
 resting on them. He had come back from 
 Brabazon's rooms to his own, almost 
 unconscious that he did so; he had dismissed his 
 servants with impatience, and had shut himself up 
 alone. Nothing was clear to him but Valerie's face, 
 her slender, white-gowned form as he had seen it 
 stretched out in the easy abandonment of sleep. 
 
 Nothing had been clear since thought stood still, 
 memory would go no farther. The night passed 
 without his knowledge. 
 
 While he rested in the same position, his dog came 
 near to him and put a paw upon his knee. It 
 strengthened one paw with the other, but met with 
 no response. In patience it waited a moment, and 
 then gave vent to a little whine. 
 
 Wingate, roused, turned to look at it impatiently, 
 and to order it to lie down ; but the dog flew to the 
 door wagging its tail violently, and uttering little 
 short barks. Wingate, listening, heard a sound 
 without, not the knocker or the bell touched, but the 
 soft hammer of knuckles on the glass panels. He 
 listened again ; the sound was repeated. Someone 
 trying to tamper with the lock, he told himself, and 
 strode into the hall and flung the door wide. 
 
 There in the aperture, with the water streaming 
 from her clothes and her hair, with her drenched face 
 
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 NOK ALL YOUR TEAES 
 
 set and white, and her eyes wide and pleading, 
 Valeric stood. 
 
 To have saved his life Wingate could have uttered 
 no sound ; and while he stood staring at her, not 
 believing his own eyes, trying to fight his way out of 
 some dream, she crept in, closing the door herself 
 behind her, and then clinging desperately to his arm. 
 
 Her touch awoke him, the pressure of her chill, wet 
 fingers. He looked down at her silently for one 
 moment more, and then he lifted her into his arms 
 and carried her, with the water streaming from every 
 rag, into the room. 
 
 " You ! You ! " he said, scarcely setting her on her 
 feet, and searching her great eyes. " Speak to me 
 let me hear your voice if I am dreaming ..." 
 
 She brought her cold hand up timidly to his face, 
 she drew closer to him, while his arms instinctively 
 strengthened their hold. " It is I Val ! Don't 
 don't turn from me don't drive me away! You 
 didn't understand you O God! you wouldn't wait 
 to hear and and I have come to tell you. You 
 loved me once ! By that love I plead with you to 
 hear me now. Don't drive me away," clinging more 
 closely to him, " don't turn me out into the street 
 again." 
 
 " Hush ! For heaven's sake though I deserve 
 you should think me brute enough for that." 
 
 He silenced her as she would have spoken again, 
 and, releasing her from his hold, took from her 
 shoulders the drenched cloak. And as he threw it 
 aside, he fell back with a startled cry. Beneath it 
 there was only the white gown in which he had seen 
 her lying asleep that evening in Brabazon's rooms ; 
 her feet were still bare, save for the little slippers that 
 clung to them like wet paper now. 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 "You came through the streets in that! You 
 followed me " 
 
 " Not at once I have only come straight here. 
 No one saw me there is not a soul about, and the 
 storm is raging. Kerr," catching at his arm again, 
 " Don't let anyone anyone come in here don't let 
 anyone see me. Give me a little while to to tell you 
 all don't leave me." 
 
 " Be quiet a moment," he said gently. " I'm half 
 bewildered still, I think. Nothing has been clear but 
 you since I saw you in that accursed place. I was 
 mad then, mad as I was before to leave you. What 
 is it that has each time driven me to madness, to 
 acting like a brute, and a fool, and a coward, at the 
 moment when when " 
 
 " I needed you most ! No, don't blame yourself. 
 The time's short so short," with a little wail, and 
 looking nervously over her shoulder. " Don't let us 
 waste it Oh, take my hands in yours and forget 
 and help me to forget Hold them hold them/' 
 stretching them out, cold and damp still, to him ; " and 
 vile though you know me to be, say your heart is not 
 quite dead to me." 
 
 " Dead to you ! Dead to you ! Val, do you under- 
 stand love so little that you think such as mine was- 
 nay, is for you, can ever die ? " 
 
 He took her hands; the coldness of them sent a 
 chill to his heart He put her back into a chair. 
 
 "You'll have caught your death of cold," he 
 declared half roughly, because he was afraid. " Wait, 
 no one shall come near you here. You are safe, and 
 you are with me remember that ; but I won't hear a 
 word till you are dry and warm." 
 
 He pushed aside some ferns in the fireplace 
 impatiently. The fire was laid in the grate behind, 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR TEARS 
 
 and, at a touch of his match, leapt to flame. This 
 done, he went into another room and fetched a 
 rough towel with which he dried her feet, kneeling 
 down on the rug and holding the chilled soles up 
 to the warmth. He touched the white gauzy gown, 
 but she shook her head and told him it was dry ; 
 and then he went out of the room again, and came 
 back some moments later with something steaming 
 hot in a glass. 
 
 " It is only brandy and hot water," he said, "it may 
 save you from a fatal chill heaven knows ! Drink it 
 all." 
 
 Valerie obeyed. When he took the glass from her 
 a little colour had crept into her cheeks, her fingers 
 were warm. 
 
 He stood at the other side of the fireplace while 
 the coals got hot, and the flames danced merrily up 
 the chimney. Suddenly his eyes met hers. The 
 next moment he had thrown himself down on his 
 knees at her feet. 
 
 "Forget forget," she whispered to him, framing 
 his face in her hands, and then drawing it close to her 
 breast till her heart beat under his cheek. 
 
 "But to-day, I found you," he began, lifting his 
 eyes to hers, the old mad ungovernable jealousy in 
 them and in every tone of his voice. 
 
 " I know," she answered him. " If you had waited 
 you would have understood I should have found 
 strength to tell you, and you would have believed ; I 
 gave you truth always." 
 
 " God knows you did," he said heavily ; " how 
 often have I wished with all my soul that you had 
 lied to me." 
 
 She drew her breath hard ; she passed over the 
 slight injustice of the words, because she understood 
 
 277
 
 NOK ALL YOUR TEAKS 
 
 his pain, and she knew how much more there was for 
 him to bear. 
 
 " Listen to me ; let me tell you now while I have 
 strength and time," 
 
 "And time!" 
 
 She nodded. 
 
 " It is so short the time. Don't leave me hold 
 me close while I tell you." 
 
 He did not wonder at the strangeness of her words 
 or the wildness of her eyes, and he drew himself up 
 to the arm of her chair, and held her close to him with 
 less of passion than of tender pity, that soothed her, 
 but that left her hungering for the tenderness, for one 
 sign of the love that had been all hers. 
 
 u Have you lied to me," she demanded restlessly. 
 M Did you say your heart is not dead to me only out 
 of pity ? Don't you care ? " 
 
 He forced her back a little from him, because she 
 had lifted herself so that her lips almost touched his, 
 and at this moment to forget seemed almost easy. 
 
 " You know it ! I must no power can rob me of 
 my love for you. But you belonged to him! You 
 went back to him. While I fought for strength to 
 forget you, you were with him once more. When at 
 last, knowing that life was worthless without you, I 
 came back for your forgiveness, for your love for you, 
 you only you I find you with him, you bring me 
 yourself beneath his roof that I may see with my 
 own eyes ..." 
 
 " Not I ! He brought you. In heart I have never 
 wronged you or the memory of your love. Every 
 thought I have kept true and pure for you. For my 
 acts he and the devil may answer, since God and you 
 deserted me. In heart and thought I tell you I have 
 been true to you whose wife I might have been! 
 
 278
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 Do you think I ever forgot that ? Don't you under- 
 stand that all I have had to live upon has been the 
 memory of that moment when you loved me and you 
 did not know. Forget all else, believe, and take 
 me back into your heart for this one hour." 
 
 He made her no answer, he drew her beauty back 
 to the shelter of his arms, with a long sigh he laid his 
 lips to hers. The long moments passed unheeded 
 they had both forgotten. At last she stirred in his 
 hold, and leant her head back again on his heart. 
 
 " Now hear me," she said. 
 
 Through the silence of the room, in the safe shelter 
 of his arms, she told her story, hiding and omitting 
 nothing. She took him back to the hour of their 
 parting, and, with her, through every hour of her 
 life since, till that hour to-night when he had found 
 her in Brabazon's rooms. And he did not interrupt 
 her once. He heard her straight through. Only a 
 low murmur, sharp and savage, escaped him novr 
 and again ; only once when she spoke of one part 
 of her life, he put her out of his arms and got up 
 and walked about the room, as though he could not 
 rest while he heard. Only she saw his hands clench, 
 and all the life and the colour die out of his face. 
 
 " My God ! " he said, when her voice, weak and 
 tired, died away; "that six months should have 
 held such life for you while I I in my madness 
 Val," suddenly, " you got out of that place, you came 
 to me, thank God ! Everything is clear to me, and 
 I know how to act. Tell me, is he there now 
 where is he ? He has escaped so often for Pat's sake, 
 he shall not escape again. Hard though it may be 
 for her . . ." 
 
 She stirred, and put his arms voluntarily from 
 her now. He saw some light glow in her eyes that 
 
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 NOR ALL YOUR, TEARS 
 
 frightened him, he watched a smile play round her 
 pale lips that was a terrible revelation to him. She 
 stood well back from him, and, for the first time, 
 let the full folds of her white robe some of which 
 she had kept persistently crushed behind her fall 
 in their natural lines to the ground. Then, following 
 Wingate's suddenly horrified eyes, she looked down, 
 it seemed to him, with ferocious satisfaction, upon a 
 dark spot of blood that stained her gown just below 
 her knees. 
 
 " He has escaped," she said, " everyone but me. 
 Don't you understand?" looking up at him and 
 laughing gladly. "I killed him to-night, after, oh, long 
 after you had gone. I knew I should do it. When 
 you rushed out of the place and the door banged, 
 I woke fully. I lay there for hours till nearly two 
 in the morning. Then he came back. He was not 
 sober ; he told me much of what I had already 
 learned, and more that I did not know. He mapped 
 out my future life for me in terms that I will not tell 
 you. I killed him ! " again with that joyous uplifting 
 of her eyes to his. " I drove the knife right home 
 to his throat more than once, and I waited to see 
 that he was dead. Do you think a woman couldn't 
 do it ? I did. I flung my weight on him, and he 
 was not sober enough to have strength against me. 
 I left him dead dead ! with his brutal insulting 
 taunts warm on his lips cut short in his lying throat 
 and I came to you." 
 
 "Val!" 
 
 Her name was choked in a whisper. Involuntarily 
 he got up and locked the door; instinctively he 
 gathered up her gown where the blood stain was, 
 and wrenched the piece away, and flung it into the 
 heart of the fire. 
 
 280
 
 NOE ALL YOUR TEAES 
 
 " You must come away," he said hurriedly. " We 
 must not lose an instant. Already it they 
 discovery may have been made. Good God ! How 
 can I get you from here at this hour in those clothes, 
 without drawing attention to you ? My darling, 
 help me think for me ! " 
 
 She crept into his arms that he suddenly threw 
 out, and turned her face with a little tired sigh to 
 his breast. 
 
 " I couldn't travel a yard to save myself/' she 
 murmured, smiling up at him. " Don't try to take 
 me away they they will never find me " 
 
 "This is sheer madness you don't know what 
 you say. Val, for my sake " 
 
 " I killed him for your sake," she said dreamily, 
 all the strength and life seeming to leave her limbs 
 and voice in one moment. "Let us forget the 
 time is so short. Put me down over there, and sit 
 beside me." 
 
 "Val, listen. You are weak, ill, I know; but if 
 you will only trust to me, and do as I bid you, I can 
 get you away from here. At this hour, in this storm, 
 there are few about. I know where I can get a 
 motor . . . Have you the courage to stay here while 
 I go there is no one but my servant in the place 
 I'll lock the doors, and ..." 
 
 "Not now don't leave me I could not stay 
 alone I should go mad!" with sudden wild fear. 
 " If if they find me, what would they do ? " 
 
 Wingate looked about him helplessly; he answered 
 her with a suppressed groan. 
 
 "What would they do. Take me away? Well, 
 I should have had this hour with you. It is worth 
 it This hour together it is our own let us for- 
 get all else. You love me in spite of all though 
 
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 my hands are stained with his blood, you love 
 me?" 
 
 " My life ! You know it. But," desperately, " you 
 are driving me mad with fear you don't understand. 
 If you care for me you will be guided by me you 
 will do as I bid you." 
 
 " No, it is for you to do as I bid you ! This hour, 
 this night is ours ours! Don't you understand. 
 Keep me with you." 
 
 "My heart if you don't let me take you from 
 here I shall have no power to keep you with me." 
 
 "For a little while a little while. Look, I have 
 been ill for months ; they talked of a delicate chest, 
 and forgot to look for the broken heart The 
 strength I had to-night was false it is spent. Give 
 me peace and the shelter of your arms for to-night 
 let me sleep on your heart I am so tired, so 
 tired ..." 
 
 Her eyes closed, her head fell back ; some new fear, 
 a fear for something more than her present danger, 
 took possession of him. He bent over her in her 
 odd, heavy sleep, and the wild passion of his kisses 
 roused her for a moment 
 
 "Forget!" she murmured, while her arms fell 
 limply from about his throat 
 
 The storm had worn itself out, the dawn broke 
 eastward. The world was no longer still about them, 
 it was waking to life, and the rest, that had been 
 everywhere save in Wingate's heart, was banished 
 indeed now. He looked out at the rosy warning of 
 another day, and held his hand before his eyes as 
 though the red light blinded him. His ears were 
 strained for sounds immediately below in the street, 
 or at his own door. He had carried Valerie to his 
 
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 own room and had put her on his bed; he had 
 watched by her while she slept a little, and woke 
 often to smile into his eyes, and he had been tortured 
 with the certainty that she needed a doctor's advice, 
 and the knowledge that he dared not bring anyone 
 from the outside world to her. 
 
 His servant began to move about ; the woman who 
 assisted in the housework arrived, and the unfamiliar 
 sounds of brooms and pails forced themselves 
 irritatingly upon Wingate's ears. It seemed to him 
 that the hours dragged and yet flew by. 
 
 He kept the door of his room shut, and the 
 servants, deciding that he would not wish to be 
 disturbed, left even the taking in of his tea and letters 
 till the very last moment 
 
 As this duty was just about to be performed, the 
 hall door bell pealed out a long summons. 
 
 Every drop of blood seemed to ebb slowly from 
 Wingate's heart ; instinctively, unconsciously, he came 
 out of his room and stood with his back against the 
 door just in time to hear his man saying " Lor' bless 
 me, Mr Wingate's not up ! " 
 
 In spite of this information, the two men, who a 
 moment ago had been on the other side of the door, 
 stepped into the hall and closed it, one pointing to 
 where Wingate, whom he knew well, stood. 
 
 " Good morning, sir. May I trouble you to spare 
 me a few minutes." 
 
 Wingate left his post by the door, and conducted 
 the man to the room next his own. 
 
 " Blake I " he said, with a faint tone of relief in his 
 voice. 
 
 " Yes, sir," Inspector Blake returned, " I'm glad and 
 sorry that it's me if you can make that out I see 
 you know my business, sir. Mr Wingate, I needn't 
 
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 tell you that delay, resistance of any sort, will make 
 matters worse. I'm sure you understand the position 
 too well for there to be any need of me telling you." 
 
 " Why do you come to me ? " 
 
 Blake made a deprecatory gesture. 
 
 " Acting chiefly on information given by Lessing, 
 the murdered gentleman's servant the fact that 
 during the evening you were with Miss Valerie 
 Drummond in Mr Brabazon's rooms, and " 
 
 " Sh ! Speak low ! " and Wingate looked towards 
 the dividing curtains. 
 
 " Mr Wingate it's early, there's not many about 
 There's a carriage waiting down below you and the 
 lady ..." 
 
 Wingate silenced him with a gesture. 
 
 " Wait," he said, and went out of the room into the 
 next. From that side he drew back the curtains and 
 pointed to Valerie lying still on the bed. 
 
 " Look, she is ill she sleeps. Wait wait a little. 
 By God ! " as the man stepped quietly to the 
 bedside, " if you wake her in fear ..." 
 
 Mr Wingate," he said, while his voice dropped to 
 a hushed whisper, and he stood with low-bowed head, 
 " no one will ever wake her again. She's dead, sir- 
 and if she was aught to you, be thankful for it"
 
 NOR ALL YOUK TEAKS 
 
 XXIX 
 
 SUMMER once more, and summer at Dale. 
 Miss Angela and Miss Hermione Drummond 
 seated at the breakfast table, the one folding 
 her serviette with elaborate care, the other 
 picking up The Times preparatory to carrying it off to 
 the morning-room. 
 
 Her eyes catch a familiar name, and with a 
 peremptory gesture she detains her sister. 
 
 "Listen to this, Angela," she says, adjusting her 
 glasses and speaking with her lips drawn tightly, and 
 the hollows at her temples deepening, as they always 
 deepen in moments of extreme anger or agitation, 
 " Listen to this 
 
 " ' On July 23rd, at St Mary's, Eaton Place, Grenvil 
 Delmar, only son of the late Sir Grenvil Delmar, 
 Bart, of Delmar Lodge, Mitching, and Lady Delmar, 
 of 41 A Portland Place, London, to Patricia, widow of 
 the late Cuthbert Brabazon.' " 
 
 " Brabazon ! That was the name of that horrible 
 man whose death that misguided girl Valerie was 
 mixed up in. His widow has married Sir Grenvil 
 Delmar of Delmar Lodge . . . w 
 
 "They will be our neighbours," adds Miss 
 Hermione gaspingly ; " they will possibly have the 
 effrontery to call upon us or expect us to call upon 
 them. Our name has been sufficiently disgraced 
 already. Angela, we shall either have to leave Dale 
 
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 altogether, or keep the gates firmly closed in the faces 
 of all!" 
 
 " We will keep the gates closed in the faces of 
 all," decides Miss Angela, dropping The Times as 
 though it were hot " And our hearts from inclining 
 us towards an endeavour to befriend anyone in 
 the future." 
 
 THE EVB
 
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