THE 
 
 i 
 
 DOW N-E A S T E R S, 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 NEW-YORK: 
 PUBLISHED BY HARPEit <fc BROTHERS, 
 
 82 CLIFF STRt.ET, 
 
 AND SCLP BT THK PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS THROCGHOtTT 
 THE UNITED STATS. 
 
 1833.
 
 [Entered according to an Act of Congress in the yearn, 1 oi,> 
 Lord one thousand, eight hundred and thirty-three, by HAUPKT 
 & BROTHERS, in the Clerk's office, of the Southern District < 
 New- York.] 
 
 S.XOWDEX, PRISTER, 58 W ALL-STREET
 
 PREFACE; 
 
 JlR A PRELIMINARY ESSAY 0!C MATTXR8 AHD THINGS 1H GEHZIUt. 
 
 TO THE READER 
 
 IF the language and general behaviour of 
 those whom a traveller meets with, in journeying 
 over this country now, should improve as much, 
 and alter as much in proportion during the next 
 fifty years, as they have within the last fifteen or 
 twenty, there will be hardly a vestige left of our 
 strongest and sharpest peculiarities. Our grand 
 children perhaps our children may know as 
 little of their immediate progenitors in the fa 
 miliar business of life; of their speech, dress and 
 general deportment, as we know in this day of 
 research and prying curiosity, about the fire-side 
 feelings, the every-day habits, and the real spoken 
 language of our primitive fathers. 
 
 And what price would be too much to pay now, 
 by any hearty lover of his country, or of his 
 country's literature, for a dialogue of their day, 
 faithfully reported from their lips? not imagined 
 and put together in the closet ; taken down word 
 for word from the mouth of the talker, not so 
 berly and thoughtfully prepared by a learned or 
 popular author from a glossary and a grammar ; 
 a rough sketch if you will, but trustworthy and 
 ^characteristic, and all alive with individuality
 
 IV PREFACE. 
 
 not a language that nobody on earth ever talked, 
 or thought of talking, although everybody of 
 any pretension may have written it all his life 
 long ; nor such as may be found every day of the 
 year in some quiet, sleepy, good-for-nothing book, 
 made up to order from Dr. Blair. Allison on 
 Taste, or the British Classics hashed over ? 
 
 Tell me not that faithful representations of 
 native character, which are neither intended for 
 example nor offered for imitption, are of no use. 
 They are ol use. They bring strangers ac 
 quainted with what we are most anxious to con 
 ceal the truth ; and what is more, they bring us 
 acquainted with ourselves, with our own pecu 
 liarities and our own faults. 
 
 Were I to say, that after hundreds and hun 
 dreds of volumes have been written, purporting 
 to describe the New-Englander, there are but 
 two upon the face of the earth (one a novel and 
 the other a play*) containing so much as one 
 single phrase of pure Yankee, the reader would 
 be astonished. And yet 1 should say no more 
 than the simple truth. Let him go into the lar 
 gest of our circulating libraries to morrow, and 
 
 *The Yankeein England,by Gen. Humphries, (dedicated lo Mr 
 Gifford,) is a Connecticut-main. Mathews, Hackelt and 11 ill, have 
 borrowed largely from it however in their general representation 
 of the New- Englander Since this preface was written, two or 
 three capital stories have appeared in the newspapers and annuals 
 with a deal of pure Yankee in them ; and Paulding, a New-Eng- 
 lander to th back-bon^. has brought forth two or three good 
 ipecimens of Yankee character, though the Innguage is not Yan 
 kee, or to speak more cautiously, not pure Yankee. And as for
 
 PREFACE. r 
 
 tumble over a cart-load of story-books and 
 novels, English or Scotch, native or otherwise ; 
 for the Yankee, like the Indian of our country, 
 has been tried by every vvhippersnapper in litera 
 ture ; and by not a few distinguished writers of 
 England, Scotland, France, Germany, and the 
 United-States ; one day in a story, another in a 
 poem ; here in a play and there in a history and 
 for every phrase of pure New-England speech 
 he meets with, I will undertake to find a lump of 
 pure gold in the sweepings of the first poor-house 
 I come to, or to fish up a pearl from the first 
 puddle of dirty water I find. 
 
 To judge by our novel-writers, play-makers 
 and poets, with here and there a partial ex 
 ception, rather by accident than otherwise, we 
 have cottages and sky-larks in our country ; phea 
 sants and nightingales, first families, youth of a 
 'gentle blood,' and a virtuous peasantry ; moss- 
 grown churches, curfews and ivy-mantled towers; 
 with a plenty of hard-hearted fathers, runaway 
 matches to nobody knows whom, for nobody 
 knows what ; unfaithful wives, cruel step-mo 
 thers, treacherous brothers any thing and every 
 
 the Yankee of Cooper, notwithstanding his great cleverness in 
 dramatic portraiture, they are dead failures, like every sample to 
 be found in the romances of Mr. Gait (whose early Scotch nereis 
 are unequalled for truth, burner and originality) of Mr. Fearon, 
 of Mrs. Trollope and of Mrs. Captain B. Hall, who never by any 
 accident happen to give a specimen of true Yankee, nor hardly 
 ever a downright Americanism; the dialogues of all being evi 
 dently maiJe up from the disjointed materials of a common-place 
 book, put together by strangers.
 
 VI PREFACE. 
 
 thing in short which goes to the ground-work of' 
 a third-rate English or Scotch novel, and no 
 thing absolutely nothing whereby a stranger 
 would be able to distinguish an American story 
 from any other, or to obtain a glimpse of our 
 peculiar institutions, or of the state of society 
 here, if I except a short story or two by Flint 
 or myself in our baby-house annuals here and 
 there a passage of Miss Ledgwick, a portion of 
 Paulding's rough, honest and powerful, though 
 sometimes rather ill-natured portraitures, the 
 earlier efforts of Cooper and I wisk 1 might say, 
 of Brown and Irving, but even they are not exam 
 ples : their books are not American, though they 
 themselves are. 
 
 Are these things to continue ? I hope not. I 
 believe not. Something I have attempted here ; 
 and more I may attempt hereafter, should 1 have 
 time for pursuing the experiment, and preparing 
 the way for a change ; but the chief work and 
 the glory thereof must be left to others; to the 
 younger and the more enthusiastic, with a longer 
 life before them. 
 
 Is the language here put into the month of the 
 New-Englander, that which is heard in real life f 
 Are the manners here ascribed to him, characte 
 ristic? Then, however peculiar and however 
 absurd they may appear, they ought to be por 
 trayed ; nay the more absurd and the more 
 peculiar, so much the more do they deserve to
 
 PREFACE. Vll 
 
 be portrayed ; and so much the better will it be, 
 not only for tnv book, but for the iNew-Englander 
 himself At first, he may deny the truth of the 
 portrait I have known such a thing to occur I 
 have known people refuse to believe their own 
 ears. Do you doubt this? Try the experiment 
 for yourself. l>o me the favor to stop the first 
 man you hear talking, no matter where ; and 
 you will never persuade him that the transcript 
 of his speech you hold in your hand, is a faithful 
 copy. Ten to one, he flies in a passion with you ; 
 but if you can persuade him to go home quietly, 
 and watch his next-duor neighbor for a day or 
 two, you wilt be astonished at the difference in 
 his manner when you meet again. But who 
 would believe it! he will sa^. Everybody about 
 me talks one language, and writes another. 
 
 The first step toward improvement is having 
 
 our faults made visible to ourselves and to 
 
 others. 
 
 But perhaps it may be said that I do not give 
 a faithful picture. To which I answer per 
 haps 1 do. And if I do not, how easy to expose 
 me. 
 
 And if the picture is faithful, I am betraying 
 my country. Be it so. If she is only to be 
 upheld by untruth ; if to speak the truth, is to 
 betray her, I shall do my bust to betray her, 
 now and forever here and hereafter whenever 
 and wherever I may think it for her advantage. 
 
 THE AUTHOR.
 
 P. S. The original sketch of two scenes here, amounting 
 altogether to about a dozen or fifteen pages. Ihe reader may have 
 met with before. Some time in the month of April. 1830, a 
 person I did not know and had never seen, wrote to me from 
 New-York, to request a contribution lor a new periodical, about 
 ( o be established there. Being very busy at the time, and having 
 other and very good, though private reasons for saying no, I 
 refused. Again he applied ottering terms, which I agreed to: 
 and I sent a paper describing a series of incidents on board u 
 steam-boat. It was published in thr first number of the periodical 
 referred to which, by the by, never reached a second And all 
 that I know of either magazine or *-<iitor, and 1 ma; add of the 
 publisher, is that I never got my pay, and that the individual who 
 applied to me, signed himself I dwitrd ThompMM of Wall-street. 
 New-York. Having written both to the publiihers and to him, 
 without receiviNg any answer, I have taken the liberty to retouch 
 the outline referred t<<. or my own account. I: they are dissatis 
 fied, they will please look to me for the damages. 
 
 THE AUTHOK.
 
 CHAPTER I, 
 
 WE were on our way from Philadelphia to Balti 
 more, in the beautiful month of May, 1814 ; our boat 
 crowded with passengers, the oddest collection you 
 ever saw, and the British lying not far off in consider 
 able force ; and yet, so assured were we of our ability to 
 escape, as not even to be kept awake by our danger 
 ous neighborhood. The war, chess, politics, flirting, 
 pushpin, tetotum, and jackstraws, (cards being pro 
 hibited,) newspapers and religious tracts, had all been 
 tried, and all in vain to relieve the insipidity of a 
 pleasant passage, and keep off the drowsiness that 
 weighed upon our spirits like the rich overloaded 
 atmosphere of a spice-island, breathing about a soft 
 summer sea. Even the huge negroes felt and enjoyed 
 the delicious warmth, as they lay stretched out, heads 
 and points, over the piles of split wood, with their fat 
 shiny faces turned up to the sky, and their broad feet 
 stiffening in the shadow. 
 
 The smooth, steady, uninterrupted motion of our 
 way it was like one long continued launch with 
 the soft sleepy blue overhead, and the still softer 
 and sleepier wave underneath, would have been too 
 much for the wakefulness of any body alive, but a 
 thief-taker on the scent of his prey or a reader of 
 some such book as as as I intend this to be. 
 
 Yaw aw a\r ! I wonder what o'clock 'tis now ? 
 drawled a man who lay stretched out on no less than 
 five different chairs, ia a spot which glowed like the
 
 2 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 reflection of a furnace-mouth upon a white-washed 
 wall ; with a yellow handkerchief drawn over his face, 
 and a hat fixed under his head Yaw aw aw ! never 
 seed sich weather afore since I cum inter the world ; 
 I swan if I did ! 
 
 The remark was probably intended for me, though 
 directed to nobody in particular merely thrown out, 
 as a lawyer would say after the manner of people 
 who want to be familiar without the risk of being 
 snubbed. I had been dusting the face of my watch a 
 moment before, and laughing with a pretty little 
 quakeress, who sat near me, at the perverse ingenuity 
 of this very man, who had lost his own shadow for 
 the twentieth time at least, while pursuing it blind 
 folded, with his hat pulled over his eyes, and a bandan 
 na over his mouth. But I told him the hour, never 
 theless. 
 
 Thee appears to be a stranger in these parts, added 
 a venerable man, who sat on the other side of the lit 
 tle quakeress, in a Philadelphia coat and a snufF-colored 
 beaver ; stooping toward me as he spoke, so that a 
 sprinkle of white hair the whitest and thinnest I ever 
 saw, blew athwart her upturned eyes I could just see 
 their color through it they were as like the sky as 
 any earthly thing could well be just about as blue, 
 and just about as clear starry, with a white mist fly 
 ing over them. 
 
 I bowed, and was on the point of replying at length, 
 after the fashion of my country, when there are plenty 
 of chairs within reach of our arms and legs, like one 
 of those figures which painters draw from the points; 
 made by five bits of paper, dropped together upon a 
 table ; when a stiff, straight, bony-looking Down,
 
 THE DOWN EASTER, &C. &C. 3 
 
 Easter, with a straw hat, high cheek-bones, a nose like 
 a sun-dial, and the sharpest mouth you ever saw in a 
 domesticated Yankee, who had been galloping about 
 the deck for two hours at full speed, with his new coat 
 sleeves pushed half way up the elbow, (as 'if he had 
 just prepared to wash himself) so as to betray 
 a cotton shirt with linen wristbands, and large brass 
 sleeve-buttons ; his collar turned back, and his shirt- 
 bosom all open to the waist, made a full stop in front 
 and addressed me as follows looking another 
 way all the time. If he is a stranger in these parts, I 
 can tell him he'd better have his eye-teeth cut afore 
 he's much older ; if he don't (lowering his voice to a 
 sort of whistle, and puckering up his mouth into the 
 oddest of all possible shapes for a mouth, stooping over, 
 turning up one foot sideways, and beginning to count 
 the stitches in the shoe,) if he don't shave putty nigh 
 the grinstun, somebody 'the's ben so ter'ble thick with 
 '11 show him what's what, afore he's done with him 
 ketch a weazle asleep, hey ? (cocking his eye at me,) 
 wish his cake dough ; if he don't there's none o' me, 
 that's all. 
 
 Pray sir, said I, in no little trepidation, I confess ; 
 for I saw by his look what no mortal would have 
 gathered from his speech, that I had something to 
 fear, Pray, sir, if you mean me, what is the danger 
 you speak of? 
 
 Instead of replying he blew a long breath, pulled 
 down his sleeves, pulled 'em up, looked at my watch 
 and then at the old quaker ; shifted his feet ; blew an 
 other long breath ; and then set off with more energy 
 than ever walking away as if he had a wager in view, 
 swinging the tail of his queer-shaped coat, which he
 
 4 THE DOWN EASTBRS, &C. &C. 
 
 had now thrown back half off his shoulders, first one 
 side and then the other, at every step he took ; now 
 fanning himself with all his might, and now shading 
 his face with a ragged newspaper ; treading the deck 
 as if he would go through whap into the seller, as he 
 called it, where they keep the sarse aboard-ship; and 
 flirting a new pocket handkerchief after the manner of 
 most Americans and of all New-Englanders, now this 
 way and now that, now drawing it through his hand 
 and now flourishing it in the breeze, till every thing 
 was in motion about him leaves, pamphlets, dust, 
 ribbons, and newspapers. 
 
 A pretty way for a body to keep himself cool, said 
 I, in what I meant for a confidential v^Lisper to the 
 dear little creature at my elbow, who let lall her dark 
 lashes in a hurry, half averted her face in reply, and 
 bit her under lip. 
 
 Too drowsy by half, thought 1, and rather too stiff 
 on the whole, for hot-weather companionship aboard 
 a steamboat ; and looking at her again, I thought her 
 eyes did not appear quite so blue, nor altogether so 
 transparent as they had a few minutes before, when she 
 was inclined to be more sociable ; and turning away 
 from her in somewhat of a huff, I observed a handsome 
 young man a little way off lounging over the quarter- 
 rail with his hat off, and a mass of black hair, of un 
 shorn plumage rather, as black as death, and glossy 
 with strange brightness-floating off and rising and fal 
 ling over his temples at every pitch of the boat, as if 
 stirred and lifted by a strong sea-breeze. Whether 
 he saw her, I do not know nor whether he knew 
 her but her eye was upon him, and I could see her 
 mouth tremble, and the delicate lawn over her young
 
 THE DOWN EASTER8, &C. &C. 6 
 
 bosom shiver, as he turned away. Anthhen, happening 
 to shift my place, I observed the fellow who lay 
 stretched out his whole length upon half a score of 
 cane chairs without backs, with his head lifted up 
 and resting on his elbow and his face turning after 
 me- as if instead of being asleep, he had placed 
 himself there for no purpose on earth but to observe 
 my motions. I recollected him now he had stuck to 
 my side saying nothing, doing nothing from the first 
 moment I happened to pull out my watch below ; with 
 all his legs and arms stretched out here and there over 
 the costly furniture, as if they had been all shipwreck 
 ed together ; one leg lying across a superb mahogany 
 table, another bent over the top of a tilted chair, and 
 one elbow finding its way slowly slowly but surely 
 through the bottom of a cane-wrought sofa, which he 
 had contrived to fix up aslant behind him. At this mo 
 ment the handkerchief slipped down from his eyes, 
 and I found him watching me like a cat. At first 
 I felt rather uneasy ; but then, what had I to fear ? 
 The fellow was evidently a down-easter ; and there 
 fore, incapable of any thing that would bring him 
 within the grasp of the law. Finding that he was ob 
 served, he stretched himself out, gaped like a tame 
 lioness for half a minute or so, and then turning away, 
 went to sleep with his back toward me. 
 
 A full quarter of an hour after this, when I had en 
 tirely forgotten the man, the handsome stranger, the 
 little quakeress, and myself dignity and all, and was 
 occupied with a strange tumultuous revery, which 
 came up, and moved before me like a vision of the 
 future, and which has turned out since to be prophecy 
 I heard a bell ring a slight bustle midships and then 
 A2 

 
 f) THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 boat lurched, and all at once we lay motionless 
 our upon the slope of the sea. Some of our 
 machinery was out of order for the first time; 
 and though the greatest exertions were made, on ac 
 count of our dear friends, the British, who were all 
 abroad over the Chesapeake, we lost nearly five hours 
 by the delay. During this period, the youthful stran 
 ger .with the black hair, entered into conversation 
 with the old quaker, and continued it so k>ng and so 
 earnestly, that I had the finest opportunity in the world 
 for surveying his face. I think I never saw a finer mouth, 
 more luminous eyes, nor a more exalted, intelligent 
 countenance, take it altogether. Animated, fiery and 
 changeable with a dash of haughty seriousness, and 
 what I should call sorrow in another a sort of proud 
 melancholy, that could not bear to be approached or 
 questioned, it fixed my attention from the first, and 
 absolutely fascinated the poor girl ; for though the 
 conversation did not appear to be intended for her, 
 and was conducted in a very low voice, I could per 
 ceive that she heard it all, and was deeply interested 
 in the subject, whatever it was. Her half-opened lips, 
 her eager attitude her occasional change of color, 
 and her low suppressed breathing, betrayed her. 
 Never shall I forget the altered expression of her 
 sweet sober child-like face !j It began to light up 
 with a look of womanhood, all alive with a new inter 
 est and a new energy. And yet, so far as I could see, 
 and I had watched th.em both very narrowly above an 
 hour, they were strangers to each other ; and the 
 young man did not even look at her, nor she at him. 
 But there they sat he talking to the old man as about 
 ft matter of life and death ; and she with her face turn-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 7 
 
 ed away, and her blue eyes fixed upon the far shore, 
 as if the agitation of her whole frame, down to the 
 little finger-ends that were tapping the rail near me, 
 had been caused by something there. 
 
 While I was watching her, with the deepest atten 
 tion feeling toward her, and pitying her, as if she 
 were a beloved sister, and greatly in need of a brother's 
 care ; the queer fellow who had accosted me before, 
 and who still kept marching to and fro the whole 
 length of the deck, and clearing a passage for himself 
 at every sweep of his coat tail, wide enough to allow 
 three ordinary men to walk abreast, now made another 
 stop full before me, and turning toward the father, 
 while he kept his eye on something overboard I say ! 
 says he ; and having secured our attention, he pro 
 ceeded I say tho' ! if he don't sleep with one eye 
 open as I said afore, which I never like to meddle 
 with other folks's business, there's a chap taint fur off 
 '11 git a swop out o' his hide yit slick as a Avhistle ; 
 I vum if he don't ! 
 
 You know consider'ble don't ye ? said the other, 
 whom we had all supposed to be asleep for the last 
 hour ; lifting his head quietly off the chair, pulling 
 away the handkerchief from his mouth, just far enough 
 to allow a squirt of tobacco spittle to escape through 
 his shut teeth, and eying the speaker with a good natur- 
 ed leer Whereupon the first, turning slowly toward 
 him without appearing at all disconcerted, though 
 evidently taken by surprise, began to eye him^in re 
 turn, inch by inch, as if he were taking an inventory of 
 his features and dress; and having finished the survey, 
 he puckered up his mouth, flung out one of his huge 
 feet as far it would go, and then put forth a question,
 
 8 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 as usual down-east, by way of reply. There is no 
 describing his look or manner ; both must be left to 
 the reader's imagination after all, if he has never hap 
 pened to see a live Yankee about to engage another at 
 a game of poke-fun, as they call it where it flourishes 
 most. Didn't you never hear tell o' them air creuked 
 sticks they cut away down-east so creuked they 
 wun't lay still hey ? 
 
 To this something was said, which I did not dis 
 tinctly understand, though it appeared to go to the 
 right place, and set two or three of the bystanders a 
 laughing. 
 
 Wai ! retorted the other ; you aint long for this 
 world, I swan ! judgin' by your tongue, as they do in 
 the gab fever. 
 
 Not long for this world ! retorted his antagonist ; 
 getting under way rather slowly, then drawing him 
 self out like a portable fishing-rod or a telescope, and 
 stretching himself up to his full stature gaping and 
 throwing both arms abroad as far as he could reach, 
 like one of anthropophagi after &ies longer 'n yourself 
 tho' by an inch and a half and then with a look 
 which every body followed with his eye, though 
 nobody ventured to smile, he added leavin' out noses 
 
 Not by two chalks ! retorted his antagonist, tapping 
 the handle of his own visage as he spoke, to show 
 that he understood him ; tho' if you had all the kinks 
 pulled out o' your Carcase, your ears buttoned back, 
 and a bladder hauled over your mouth accordin 1 to 
 law, instead o' that air flashy handercher, you'd be 
 ever so'much longer than ye air now, an' wuth more 
 too, by a pocky tarnal sight. I'd give as much agin 
 for ye with the bristles off.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 9 
 
 This was too much for the gravity of my quaker 
 friends, though the handsome stranger appeared to 
 enjoy it most. The old man looked up with a smile of 
 subdued amazement, I laughed till my sides ached, 
 the fair girl (she proved to be his grand-daughter at 
 last) sat looking sideways at the two down-easter?, 
 and struggled to suppress her mirth, till the tears 
 ran down her cheeks ; while they interchanged a look 
 of triumph with certain of the bystanders, and then 
 separated one betaking himself more zealously than 
 ever, and with the most self-satisfied air in the world, 
 to his journeying fore and aft the deck, pretending not 
 to know that he was a subject of admiration to every 
 body near ; while the other, as if equally satisfied 
 with the issue, having folded his large yellow ban 
 danna into a new ahape, threw hhuself limb by limb 
 over the five chairs, pretending to fall asleep again 
 directly, in spite of the attention he received from two 
 or three mischievous young dogs, who wanted to keep 
 them in play. 
 
 Again the conversation was renewed between the 
 the stranger and the old man ; but in a very low voice 
 and with a manner that indicated extraordinary inter 
 est in both ; and at last I heard the latter say Thy 
 notions are new to me, and I should be glad of a 
 further acquaintance when we arrive at Baltimore 
 or if thee should ever come to Philadelphia what 
 may I call thy name 1 
 
 Middleton, sir 
 
 And thy other name 1 
 
 Gerard, sir Gerard Middleton ; bowing with his 
 large troubled eyes fixed upon the daughter for the 
 first time and looking as if he would look her
 
 10 THE DOWN EASTERS, &-C. &,C. 
 
 through, and read her very heart without being obser 
 ved by me or the grandfather. I saw instantly that 
 they had met before and yet she stood it bravely I 
 will say that for her bravely, considering her youth 
 and her gentleness. A mere child in years, and looking 
 as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth; and yet, there 
 she sat perfectly still, and suffered him to pore into the 
 lighted depth of her own dear eyes, without flinching 
 or trembling or dropping the lids ; and then all at once, 
 when the trial was over, and he withdrew, partially 
 abashed I thought from the encounter, she recollected 
 herself, turned away, and blushed to her finger-ends. 
 The next time I saw her, she was very pale, and her 
 lashes were wet with tears. 
 
 Another bell to remind us of our passage-money ; 
 and having run forward to see what the matter was, I 
 did not immediately return; and when I did but that 
 will do for another chapter,
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE confusion attendant on settling for the passage 
 having subsided, and the trouble about the machinery 
 being pretty well over, I returned to my favorite station 
 by the fair quakeress ; where I had an opportunity of 
 studying Middleton yet more at my leisure. He stood 
 near me, leaning over the rail and playing with the bolt 
 of the gangway I spoke to him twice about the danger, 
 and he thanked me, though he persisted nevertheless, 
 and at one time the slightest lurch of the vessel would 
 have precipitated him into the sea yet there he stood, 
 watching the beautiful countenance before him, the 
 placid mouth and the happy eyes turned up toward 
 her dear old grandfather, and occasionally wandering 
 toward mine, (though I am sure she never saw me 
 after Middleton crossed her path,) whenever he ap 
 peared in a revery, or was looking another way. I 
 saw now that he was rather tall, and very thin ; a de 
 cided southerner in his carriage, indolent, haughty and 
 graceful somewhat swarthy too about the uncovered 
 part of his face, with a very intellectual forehead 
 the temples were absolutely transparent a woman's 
 mouth, and the most effeminate-looking hands I ever 
 saw. I never was half so much puzzled before what 
 to make of him, I could'nt tell for a long while. His 
 black joyful eyes and haughty lip, did'nt belong far 
 enough north for the fine chisseling of the other fea 
 tures, and the singular beauty of his language. But 
 when I discovered, as I did before we parted, that he
 
 12 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. <fcc. 
 
 was born of a New-England mother, remarkable for 
 her beauty and accomplishment, and that his father 
 was a Georgia planter, who died in a duel, which re 
 sulted in the premature birth of his only child this 
 very youth and that after travelling in the south of 
 Europe, he had been educated in the north for the very 
 purpose of counteracting his fiery temper, and fortify 
 ing his brave lineage by other and better principles 
 than he had imbibed in the south, I had a key to the 
 whole mystery ; and from that hour the heart of 
 Gerard Middleton lay naked before me. I read it like 
 a map. 
 
 Finding I had no business there the grand 
 father being fully competent for the protection of the 
 child I bore away for the walking down-easter the 
 man with a nose like a sword-fish, and begged him, 
 half out breath already with no less than four attempts 
 to bring him to before I succeeded, to have compas 
 sion on me, and tell me what the gulp ! he meant 
 by the caution he had favored me with, so early in the 
 day. But he Only walked so much the faster, 
 evading all my questions so adroitly, and with so much 
 ease to himself now by a swing oi his coat-tail, which 
 struck me so heavily as to satisfy me that he carried 
 weight, like John Gilpin's nag, and that people had 
 good reason for keeping out of his way, and now by a 
 flourish of his enormous pocket-handkerchief, that I 
 began to feel rather vexed with him. 
 
 Inacon-siderbleof a hurry jess now, said he as if 
 he expected to arrive at Baltimore so much the sooner 
 for every step he took, though we lay at the time 
 
 As idle as a painted ship, 
 
 Upon a painted ocean 
 
 Smashin' round like a house afire a -a a, he added
 
 THE DOWN EASTER?, &C. &-C. 13 
 
 passing me so swiftly that I lost a part of his remark, 
 and he the whole of my answer. And when I lay too> 
 waiting to fire into him as he wore upon his heel or 
 stood away upon a new tack ; another and another 
 word, accompanied by a significant gesture, reached 
 my ear, and then away he would go again ! right 
 before the wind ! wing and wing, all sails out, the 
 ballast shifting at every roll, and talking as fast as 
 ever, though I could'nt make out one Avord in forty. 
 
 No time to talk now ! dont ye see where we air 1 
 right in the jaws o' the inimy ; have to fight yit, I 
 vum if we dont ! no runnin' away here, rot an' tarna 
 tion seize the everlastin' steam-boats ! ; you seem to 
 be a ketle ryled yourself dont wonder---dod burn an' 
 butter my hide ; if you ever ketch me aboard o' steam 
 boat agin, that's all ! I know what you want ! Stan' 
 out o' my way I'm gettin' ready for a jump 
 
 A jump ! what the devil do you mean 1 
 
 Yis, a jump right overboard ! smash ! the mo 
 ment I see the inimy ; you may do as you like, you 
 and the rest o' the passengers, but I'm agoin' to swim 
 ashore hullow ! look o' there! what's that-o'-com- 
 in' up there ! Aint them the boats ? I say, Cap'n 
 Trip ! hullow, Cap'n Trip ! aint them the ininay's 
 boats ? 
 
 Captain Trip had been reconnoitering before ; and 
 arriving aft with his spy-glass, he assured us we had 
 nothing to fear from that quarter, even if it should 
 prove to be the boats of the enemy ; as long before 
 they could pull up with us, we should be at work under 
 a double pressure. 
 
 Dont believe a word on't, said the Yankee no 
 business to cone out, an' I toll him so when I wanted 
 B
 
 14 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 to walk to Havre de Grace meachin' feller ! never 
 was half so mad afore ryled all over, inside and out. 
 
 Ryled ? 
 
 To be sure ! ryled ructious there ye go agin ! 
 right off the reel, jest as eff you never hcerd o' bein 
 ryled afore ? Hullow there ! I say you, mister ! 
 bawling away like a two-and-forty-pounder at a mulatto 
 who was righting the baggage forward with a hand 
 spike, and trying to get some of the best of it under 
 cover. Mind how ye jounce that air chist about! 
 Have to pay for all ye break o' mine, I tell ye now ! 
 An' I say, neighbor, (turning to me) I take you for 
 a witness. Mind what ye're at now ! never seed 
 sich a feller since I breathed the breath o' life ; no 
 sprawl in ye great slammerkin' good for nothin' 
 there now ! What did I tell ye ! 
 
 One of the boxes had pitched over upon a black fel 
 low below, who cleared himself with a spring and a 
 howl, and began leaping about the deck with his foot in 
 his hand, his enormous mouth as wide open as it would 
 stretch, and the tears running down his cheeks 
 
 There now ! and away bounced the Yankee to his 
 relief; catching him up in his arms as if he had been 
 a child, scolding him heartily all the time ; and laying 
 him out over the bales of goods, without appearing to 
 see the strange faces that gathered about him, or to 
 care a fig for their profound astonishment, he began 
 pulling and hauling the leg about, now this way and 
 now that, and wrenching the foot first one way and 
 then another, as if he would twist it off, while the 
 sufferer lay grinding his teeth and uttering an occa 
 sional boo-hoo ! boo-hoo ! 
 
 Boohoo ! boohoo ! cried the Yankee, who had
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 15 
 
 now satisfied himself as to the state of the case. 
 What's the use o' boo-hooin, I tell ye ! Keep a stiff 
 upper lip ; no bones broke don't I know ? Seventh 
 son of a seventh son sarved ye right though aint 
 hurt half bad enough never hearn tell o' the rain 
 water doctor ? some calls him the screw-augur doctor, 
 an' some the steam-doctor boo-oo boo-hoo what 
 are ye afeard on ? Got the stuff till cure ye, if ye'd 
 jammed your leg off take the bruise right out by the 
 roots look here ! whipping out a large box, with a 
 lead-colored pigment, blue pill or opodeldoc perhaps, 
 or perhaps the scraping of a carriage-wheel. That's 
 the stuff for corns, I tell ye ! capital too for razor- 
 straps ! addressing himself now to one and now to an 
 other of the bystanders, and either by accident or de 
 sign so as to hit rather hard here and there, and raise 
 a good-natured laugh at the expense of a little some 
 body with pinched feet, and a cross-looking old woman 
 with a beard. Clear grit as ever you see ! gut sech a 
 thing as a jacknife about ye marm ? to the latter, who 
 stood stooping over the box with a most inquisitive 
 air, eying him through her golden-bowed spectacles, 
 and occasionally touching the contents of the box, and 
 then smelling her fingers in a way that he did'nt appear 
 to relish with a red-haired girl in very tight shoes 
 on one arm, and a sleepy-looking coxcomb with mus- 
 tachios on the other clear grit, I tell ye ! take a 
 notch out of a broad axe ! whoa ! to the nigger, 
 who-a ! there, there ! best furnitoor-polish ever you 
 come across, mam. There, there, stiudy stiddy !--- 
 don't kick plastering tire foot all over with his furni 
 ture-polish, and wrapping it up with a bandage of loose 
 oakum ah, hah ! begin to feel nicely aready, don't 
 it, mister ?
 
 16 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 O, yessa massa, groaned the poor negro him peel 
 berry moodch nicaly ; taaikee massa berry mudch 
 boo-hoo ! gorrigh I 
 
 Told ye so ! slickest staff ever you see, aint it mis 
 ter ? snatching up a rag of tarred canvass and a bun-eh 
 of spun-yarn that somebody he-Id near good for the 
 lockjaw tried it on myself ; nobody talks faster 'an I 
 do now, do they marm ? fuss chop too for yeller-fever, 
 an moths, and lip-salve, an bed-bugs try a leetle 
 on't, mister, (to the youth in moustachios) or maybe 
 you'd like a box or yer own some call it a new sort 
 0' tooth paste with more varter in't than nineteen sea 
 hosses ; only a quarter dollar a box at retail, or two 
 dollars a dozen box in all, and take your pay in most 
 any thing marm, (to- the red haired- girl) boxes worth 
 half the money, and more too, marm take *Tem back at 
 double price, if you aint satisfied, if I ever cme across 
 you agin sell ye the privilege right out for any o* 
 the states, so't your son there could make his fortin' 
 by sellin' it for bears-greese ; don't kick, I tell ye ! 
 to tho nigger sartain cure for the itch help yourself, 
 mister why if you'll believe me, but I know you wunt, 
 I've seen it cure a whole neighborhood so privately, 
 they did'nt know it themselves chincough striped- 
 fever and back-bitin' to boot, only by rubbin' it over 
 the minister's wig mortal fine stuff for the hair ! 
 turns it all manner o' colors there ! letting the limb 
 go and lifting the poor man up with, a bandage on it 
 about as big as a moderate-sized pillow see there T 
 enough's enough, I tell ye boo-hoo boo-hoo ! If 
 yer don't stop your blartin' an' boo-hooin, you'll 
 take cold inside, and that'll take all the varter out o* 
 the greese ^and then, arter that's done, I defy yer to>
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 17 
 
 stop I call it greese ; but its no more greese than yon 
 air, (to a very fat man who had been laughing at all 
 the others in succession it was their turn now) an' 
 what's more (to the nigger) your foot '11 turn all th e 
 colors of a peacocks'-tail. 
 
 How would it answer in a case of yellow fever ? 
 enquired the fat man. 
 
 Not knowin' cant say suppose you try it with a 
 question or two yourself ? But I've known it tried 
 out an' out with the slow fever ? 
 
 On a four-wheeled one-horse dearbon, hey ? said 
 somebody near me. Ah, and what's more, on a fever 
 an' ager; and it cured 'eni both afore five o'clock, an* 
 gut all cleared away by supper time. 
 
 And ready for another, hey ? continued the same 
 voice. 
 
 Here the poor negro began to hobble off, saying as 
 he moved away Tanka massa, tanka berry mush. 
 
 I say tho } , mister, cried the Yankee, calling after 
 him might ask what's to pay ; or buy a box o' the 
 hair-powder that's the least you can do. 
 
 Why lor a bressa massa ; massa so good, he neber 
 tink o' takin' notin' o' poor nigger, hey ? 
 
 Try me. 
 
 I sholl dat ! cried the poor fellow, beginning to 
 whistle, possum up a gum tree ope he go ! ope he go ! 
 with one hand foraging at will in the pockets of his old 
 tarred trowsers, and the other, perhaps out of sheer 
 sympathy, sprawling about in the matted wool over 
 head, the fingering whereof by a nigger implies great 
 inward perplexity. 
 
 Meanwhile the down-easier had got under way 
 
 again ; giving me a nod as he went by, to make chase. 
 B2
 
 18 THE DOWN EA.9TER9, &C. &C. 
 
 But I had satisfied myself on that point before his 
 long legs were altogether too muchi for me ;, and my 
 only chance appeared to lie in raking him as he yaw 
 ed, or waylaying him on a return passage. O, that you 
 could see him ! his newly-paved boots falling on the 
 deck at every step like a machine driving piles, or a 
 beetle shod with sole-leather ; and his pockets rattling 
 as he drove by, hitting first one person and then an 
 other, like a newly-freighted waggon finding its way 
 downhill backwards without a driver. 
 
 All in good part ! said he, talking faster than ever 
 mortal talked before, with the wind right in his teeth, 
 so that I lost t,hree words out of four, and had to guess 
 at the fourth. Forgit and forgive, that's my way, 
 which if you dont git swapped out o' somthin' hansum 
 I miss my guess, that's all! can't you see! wears a 
 putty clever coat to be sure ; but when ye git a chance, 
 jest take a peep into the in'ards or that air umberill o' 
 his'n with a cloth over it why its nothin' in this world 
 but a frame o' sticks 'at he swapped for at French- 
 town been whipped into hoss hair long ago, if it 
 had'nt been kept for a trade. But he knows how the 
 cat jumps, I tell ye cute as nutmeg brought up on 
 ten-penny nails, pynted at both eends ; why that air 
 hat o' his'n 'tyou see there, with a new hat-case, bran 
 fire new, see how he keeps muchin' i,t whenever you 
 look that way ; why that's nothin' arter all but an old 
 three quarter dollar swap, with the wool off, an' more 
 spots on the brim than, you could try out in half a 
 year 
 
 No! 
 
 As true as you're alive or, shake a stick at be 
 tween now an' everlastin'.
 
 THE tfOWN EASTERS, &.C. &,C. 19 
 
 Pray tell me, said I, as he hove in sight again, 
 what I have to fear from that ah he was already 
 out of hearing. 
 
 Why as to that question, said he, some fire 
 minutes after, when we happened to cross one an 
 other's route within speaking distance ; my old 
 granfather, he said to me, says he, more 'n forty 
 years ago here he made a full stop for a moment 
 with his eye upon two other negroes who were at work 
 with the baggage, and then, sweeping by me as before, 
 I lost the remainder of his reply ; and the next words 
 that reached me were,. don't want yer money ; only 
 did it to try yer not knowin' cant say never thought 
 much o' Jedediah do you chaw ?. 
 
 I stared and was about to answer, but I was too late. 
 He had gone by, with the poor old negro halting after 
 him and holding out a handful of change. We were 
 under way once more, and there was a great bustle 
 midships and I felt the breeze blowing fresh and 
 heard the sail run up with a pleasure that I wondered 
 at. If I had been becalmed for a month on a voyage 
 to Europe I could not have enjoyed the motion of the 
 vessel more springing forward with new life and a 
 preternatural vigor, as the sea roughened with 
 the evening breeze and gradually darkened about our 
 path, over which the white foam poured with a deluge 
 of lustre from our wheels and prow. 
 
 I had lost myself entirely again, and was wandering 
 away I know not where over the dim blue waters ; 
 among the bright isles of the sea far, far away, when 
 I was brought suddenly to my senses by a familiar 
 slap on the back. My teeth rattled again at the salu 
 tation. It was the down-easter. I say, give us a nip
 
 20 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 o' that air snuff o' yourn, 't I see ye have, down be 
 low there, will ye ? said he, rounding to as he finished, 
 and resting on his heel for a moment like a fine ship 
 that has been struck by a flaw in the midst of a capital 
 manoeuvre. Putty good o' the sort, hey, what there 
 is o'nt an' enough on't too, such as it is; what d'ye 
 give a bladder ? 
 
 A bladder ! Oh ah I understand you now : I 
 dont buy it by the bladder ; 
 
 O, you don'-tf do ye ? how then ? 
 
 By the box. 
 
 By the box ! you don't say so ! 
 
 But I do say so. 
 
 Oh ah whoolsale ? Comes cheaper when you 
 lay it in by the box, hey ? Pulling out a piece of rag 
 ged brown-paper from his coat pocket a store house 
 of odds and ends, of slops and fragments, blackball and 
 wafer-boxes, with a bunch of twine, a gimlet or two, 
 and a leather strap ; and having spread the paper in 
 the palm of his hand, he began helping himself pinch 
 after pinch, till he had nearly emptied the box and 
 filled the paper ; when seeing what he took for a 
 beetle or a cockroach at the bottom, he dropped the 
 last pinch as if he had burnt his fingers, and cried out 
 lord a massy ! what is it ! 
 
 Where ! where ! cried two or three persons near 
 me, all speaking together, and looking toward the 
 quarter where the British were expected. No wonder 
 they were half frightened out of their wits ; I should 
 have been frightened too, had I not perceived the cause 
 of his consternation, as he stood pointing at the box, 
 and making the most horrible faces. 
 
 O that's a bean, said I.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 21' 
 
 You dont say so ! what's it good for ? 
 
 To scent the snuff. 
 
 Why how ye talk ! pulling it slowly out with his 
 forefinger and thumb, and feeling it cautiously 
 Would'nt a cockroach do ? The man evidently had 
 his misgivings, and like a true down-easter, was trying 
 to turn it off with a little over-acting ; and then after 
 eyeing it awhile at arm's length, so as to make every 
 body that stood near doubt whether he was not pre 
 tending ignorance, he began to rub it slowly and cau 
 tiously over the tip-end of his tremendous nose I 
 never did see such a nose ! that's a fact it was about 
 the color and very much the size of a long-necked 
 winter-squash the more I saw of it the more I was 
 troubled, and I saw more and more of it every time I 
 looked that way no, no, I never did see such a nose ! 
 and then, having smelt it, he gave it a bite with his foi e 
 teeth I'm not speaking of the nose now heaven 
 forbid I that belongs to another paragraph and then 
 before I could possibly interfere, with his grinders ; 
 my attention being diverted at the time by a half- 
 smothered girlish giggle. On turning my head, I 
 found all eyes upon him, as he stood there making 
 mouths at the bean, preparatory to trying the flavor in 
 the way mentioned above* I was ready to burst witti 
 laughter and vexation, till I saw that she understood 
 the matter properly j though I was not altogether 
 satisfied I confess, when I turned that way and saw 
 her thinking of the stranger with the passionate lip 
 and the imperious eye. That she was thinking of him 
 I knew the moment I saw her face ; and she knew that 
 I knew it ; for she never lifted her eyes to mine af- 
 terwardsi but sat there trembling, with one snowy
 
 22 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 hand lying so quietly in her lap, and the other stretc'h- 
 ed out toward me so helplessly, that I longed to take 
 it into mine with the clasp of a brother of an elder 
 not 'a younger brother and say to her : be of good 
 cheer maiden ! I will never betray thee ! But how could 
 I ? It was not yet dark ; and we were not alone ; and 
 perhaps if I had for such things have been perhaps 
 I might have had my ears boxed for my sympathy, or 
 a small sword flourished athwart my eyes, brother or 
 no brother, some cold frosty morning. It makes my 
 teeth chatter to think of it.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 HAVING tasted the bean, chawed it, and smelt of it 
 inside and out, the down-easter shook his head, an-d 
 spitting once or twice with the air of a man who has 
 heard of the biter bit, and feels rather perplexed on 
 the whole, take it by-and-large, was about returning 
 the bean to the box ; and would have done so I am 
 sure, had I not turned away in a hurry, snapped the 
 lid with a decided emphasis, and begged him to keep 
 it to scent the snuff with which he had in the paper. 
 
 Wai, said he, not at all embarrassed by the proposi 
 tion or the look I favored him with Wai ! seein' 'ts 
 you, I dont care 'f I do for between you' an' me an' 
 the post, I've taken a sort of a likin' to you rather a 
 sorter than a sorter not I vow if I haint ! and that's 
 a slum-fac (a solemn fact I believe he meant a favor 
 ite phrase with him) ; for I guess you're a putty clever 
 sort of a feller notwithstanding rather equivocal 
 thought I, as he proceeded. What d'ye have to pay 
 for sech beans as them, hey ? Where d'ye git 'em ? 
 What do they cost? How do ye lay 'em in by 
 weight or measure ? 
 
 By tale, said I. 
 
 Oh laying his finger along the side of his nose and 
 trying to look arch at the old quaker. 
 
 They are worth sixpence a piece, I added. 
 
 You don't say so ! sixpence a piece ! beats all 
 nater ! By jingo, if I dont plant this, right away do 
 ye think 'till mind a scratch or two like that ? showing
 
 24 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 me the marks of his fore teeth, and rubbing the bean 
 with his cuff did'nt go more 'n half way to the heart 
 sixpence a piece ! York money though ? 
 
 No Massachusetts New England Virginia cur 
 rency. 
 
 Wai, if ever ! May be you've got some to sell ? 
 rather guess ye have ? 
 
 No. 
 
 Like to buy, may be ? What'll ye give a thousand 
 cash? 
 
 A thousand ! why bless your heart, I 
 
 Or truck out o' the store at cash prices hullow ! 
 
 We were interrupted by a great noise, and a cry of, 
 look out below there ! and the next moment a couple 
 of long chests painted sky-blue., and flowered off in 
 great style with a border of brimstone-yellow, pitched 
 headlong from the very tiptop of the luggage ; and 
 the end of one being stove, and the top flying off, the 
 deck was instantly littered with all sorts of down-east 
 travelling haberdashery half a bushel of dried apples 
 on strings, a quantity of blue-and-white woollen yarn, 
 with sundry articles of clothing, which had seen their 
 best days long and long before, a heap of dough-nuts, 
 a new bridle, part of a sage-cheese, three or four 
 nests of sugar-boxes, a wooden clock-face and a pair 
 of spurs with enormous rowels, were among the arti 
 cles I remember. 
 
 There now ! cried my companion, you've jess 
 done it ! I told you so did'nt I mister ? (turning to 
 me for proof) did'nt I tell you so. when that are gen 
 tleman was a cypherin' about there with the wooden 
 crow-bar, among all them air chists and boxes? 
 
 The gentleman he alluded to was the steward ; a 
 handsome, well-behaved, well-dressed mulatto.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 25 
 
 Never you mind tho' ; I'll make him pay for it ; or 
 Cap'n Trip shall make the damage good afore I leave 
 the vessel I'm goin' right away to Washintin', and 
 its wuth five dollars a day to me, every day 't I 
 lose 
 
 A representative perhaps ? 
 
 A representatyve ? oh no ! somethin' more'n 
 that comes too, I rutner guess 
 
 But you've paid your passage, I believe 
 
 So I have, by jingo ! What a fool I was to be 
 sure ! but never you mind though law is law and 
 I'll have my money's worth out o' Cap'n Trip afore 
 I've done with him you'll be an evidence for me, 
 wunt ye ? Do as much for you any time ye will 
 now, wunt ye ? say whether ye will or no ; if ye 
 don't, I'll have ye summoned right away, and here's 
 your money all ready for ye, slapping his pockets 
 for travelling fees an' tendance. Burn my buttons 
 if I don't fix 'em ! Cap'n Trip ! I say Cap'n Trip ! 
 
 And here, without paying the least attention to the 
 trumpery that lay exposed upon the deck to every 
 body's observation, off he started after the captain, 
 calling upon me by name and all the others in the 
 lump, to bear witness that he had abandoned for a 
 total loss, and vowing he would'nt go nigh the chist 
 nor touch to, till he'd come to a fair understanding 
 with Captain Trip. 
 
 Here a grave-looking little personage who stood in his 
 way, and whom I had seen prompting him a moment 
 before, took the liberty to follow the yankee a few steps, 
 when the latter turned upon him with a look of dis 
 may, and stood staring over his head at me, while the 
 other went on with a sort of law-lecture about gene-
 
 26 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 ral-average, common-carriers, bailment, &c. <fcc. 
 till the down-easter begun to grow rather shy of him, 
 and buttoned up his coat, and tucked away his watch- 
 chain, and crammed both hands into his pockets. 
 Perhaps he took him for a lawyer but why conceal 
 his watch-chain ? why screw up his mouth, and look 
 about him, as if he expected to lose a tooth or two by 
 sleight of hand ? 
 
 No sooner had he left me, than I stole up to the 
 seat I had previously occupied, with a determination 
 to make sure of it for the remainder of the passage, 
 when, lo ! I found another in possession; a little 
 dapper Bostonian, who, kept a store as they call it, 
 where every shop is a store, every stick a pole, every 
 stone a rock, every stall a factory, and every goose a 
 swan, sold tape which he imported on his own account, 
 dabbled in literature, puffed poetry for the North- 
 American-Review, and the North-American-Review 
 for the newspapers ; at his elbow was another, an 
 educated and travelled Yankee cold, supercilious 
 and stiff standing like the statue of man before the 
 loveliest of God's creatures, and talking like a book, 
 even to his washerwoman. I could not help observ 
 ing them both ; for each was a fair specimen of what 
 are called the talented and gifted of their several 
 classes. Both avoided the brave old English word 
 guess, even where no other would serve their pur 
 pose trying thereby to conceal their lineage, and 
 substituting for it, all sorts of awkward and silly cir 
 cumlocution, like most of our countrymen who have 
 heard that to guess betrays the Yankee, or at least 
 the New-Englander : and so it does, where they make 
 use of it to express absolute certainty, that is indeed 
 characteristic of a New-Englander. He will say, when
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 27 
 
 the thermometer is five degrees below zero Wai, I 
 guess this is putty cole weather ; and if you ask him if 
 that house yonder belongs to him, he will answer Wai, 
 I rather guess it dooze. But in forty-nine cases out of 
 fifty, the rudest Yankee will employ the word guess 
 after the manner of the best old English authors ; while 
 the educated Yankee and the Southerner, will resort 
 to such absurd and bastard phraseology as the follow 
 ing to prove they are not Yankees, forsooth ! I 
 take it ; I presume ; I conjecture ; I fancy ; I imagine ; 
 I believe ; I anticipate ; I contemplate ; I reckon ; 
 I calculate, &c. &c. betraying the fo rmer shib 
 boleth nevertheless, even where most careful about 
 hadn't ought and legis '-latoore, dooze and Fellydel- 
 phy, by talking through the nose in jets, by whimper 
 ing at the end of a long sentence, and by saying / 
 want you should go with me, or some other pre-emi 
 nent Yankeeism, while counterfeiting the manners 
 and speech of the South, and affecting to pity his 
 New-England brethern for their strongly-marked and 
 hopeless barbarism of language and behavior there ! 
 that'll do for the present. . 
 
 By and by, the former went so far as to signify 
 thai he made his own poetry ; and being sorely per 
 suaded by a mischievious girl who had joined the 
 group, and by the little creature who had so interested 
 me zounds ! what a mystery your innocent women 
 are ! They may do just what they like, with absolute 
 impunity ! he was obliging enough to recite a copy 
 of verses, with a low sweet musical cadence, which 
 went to the heart of all the women that heard it. 
 Having somehow or other forgotten a word, he thought 
 proper to refer to a common-place book he had with 
 him, lettered ORIGINAL POETRY on both sides, in large
 
 28 THE DOWN EASTER8, &C. &.C. 
 
 handsome letters on opening it, I read the title of 
 the piece, 4 written by himself,' and surely never 
 was title more appropriate, and somebody at my 
 elbow appeared to think so too, for he read it aloud 
 with an emphasis that proved to be irresistible 'Lines 
 beneath a nosegay' 
 
 The little rogue took the idea, and laughed heartily 
 before she had time to turn away her face, or to stuff 
 a handkerchief into her mouth ; and I what shall I 
 ay ? I who had already begun to think her eyes not 
 more than half so blue as they were when we first 
 came aboard and sat together looking into the deep 
 still mirror below ; her stature to say the least of it, 
 rather diminutive ; her mouth somewhat large, though 
 I do love a generous mouth, and her unspeakable 
 taciturnity, the best proof she had given or could give 
 of her good sense I who had begun to think thus of 
 her, became instantaneously converted to a contrary 
 belief, by the sudden burst of girlish hilarity, the ring 
 ing joyousness, and what I should call the unexpect 
 edness of her laugh. Her eyes were bluer than ever 
 her mouth perfect her good sense altogether won 
 derful and her shape that of the winged women I 
 had courted in my youth. Ah ha ! said I to myself, 
 as she laughed all over I am sure she did, " for it 
 went a-ripplingto my finger-ends" who is there with 
 courage to deny to that girl an exquisite perception of 
 truth and humour, and a strong sense of th* ridicu 
 lous ? 
 
 But of whose truth and humour ? I looked up to 
 see for myself; and there stood another Yankee as I 
 live ! close at her elbow and looking over her shoul 
 der, with all the ease of an old acquaintance. And
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C &C. 29 
 
 what was harder for me to put up with she did not 
 appear to observe him. Oh Pharaoh! Pharaoh! thought 
 I, if they had only thought of trying thee with New- 
 Englanders ! In the course of a short conversation that 
 followed, I found his name was Gage, and that he 
 and Middleton were old acquaintances ; though I had 
 an idea from the angry flashing of Middleton's eyes, 
 that he did'nt half like the strange familiarity, the per 
 fect self-possession, and the steady quiet voice of 
 Gage. But as for me, I was delighted with him. He 
 was evidently a New-Englander of the right sort ; a 
 full-blooded, old-fashioned Yankee ; and from the 
 moment I heard him read over the title of the verses 
 from the book, ' Lines beneath a nosegay,' I was de 
 termined to know more of him. No change, nor 
 shadow of change was there in look or tone, voice or 
 feature ; but a something so self-assured at the time, 
 so easy and so natural, that for your life, you could'nt 
 be angry, though he treated you from the first mo 
 ment you saw him, as if he had been acquainted with 
 you all your life long. He would say the severest 
 things ! but always with such a pleasant eye no" 
 bitterness no affected archness no assumed gravity 
 was there ; nothing of that manner which betrays a 
 professional wit, who having raised a laugh, or, let a 
 pun, draws out his po|et-handkerchief with a long 
 sober flourish and wipes his mouth, or turns on his 
 
 A 
 
 heel and walks away, as if he attached no sort of value 
 to his very best things, and might, if he would take 
 the trouble, do a thousand times better. 
 
 He could reason too, and that with extraordinary 
 power ; and in the course of the day and evening we 
 were together, he impressed me with a very exalted 
 c2
 
 30 THE DOWN EASTER3, &.C. &C. 
 
 opinion of his moral courage. Perhaps an example 
 or two may give the reader a better idea of him, and 
 though it may appear to delay the story, it will serve 
 to abridge it in the long run, by substituting fact for 
 description the man himself, heartily engaged in a 
 favorite cause, for a picture of him or many pictures 
 of him, wanting that essential feature of individuality 
 speech. '.- 
 
 Take an example 
 
 Not long after this I found him occupied with the 
 venerable old quaker in a discussion that interested 
 me, and appeared to interest others, exceedingly. It 
 was about war. 
 
 But thee will agree with me friend Gage, said the 
 old man, that if two neighbors, having a dispute, if 
 thee will, about the boundary of their respective gar 
 dens, or some privilege common to both, were to spend 
 their time shooting at one another through the fence, 
 er setting fire to each other's houses, or carrying oft" 
 each other's children, and holding them as prisoners 
 of war and hostages, only to be given up at the end 
 of the quarrel if they did this, instead of referring 
 the disputed question to a neighbor, they would only 
 be acting as nations do, when they go to war about a 
 patch of territory, hardly worth having at all, and 
 
 never worth the sacrifice of x>ne human creature 
 
 ^P 
 never ! 
 
 And then, after a short" .pause and a benevolent 
 smile, as he sat smoothing down the soft silky hair of 
 his grand-daughter, whose bonnet had slipped off 
 without being perceived by herself. Perhaps thee will 
 agree too, that for such neighbors to talk about honor, 
 or dignity, or justice, while they are trying to murder
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 31 
 
 one another, would be looked upon, though there 
 were no law to appeal to, as a great folly and a great 
 wickedness ? 
 
 Certainly, sir, said Gage. And I would go further, 
 much further. I would say that in perhaps ninety- 
 nine cases out of a hundred, if individuals were to act 
 as nations do in going to war, they would be hunted 
 to death by common consent, even amang savages. 
 
 Grandfather, said the girl, in a low timid whisper 
 and then she stopped and seeing Middleton's eyes 
 fixed upon her, with a look that instantly disappeared, 
 faltered out something relative to the New Zealan- 
 ders, adding that it went far to prove what friend 
 Gage had been saying. 
 
 Friend Gage, to be sure ! and said without any 
 visible trepidation, with no drooping of the eye-lids, 
 nor quivering of. the under-lip and yet, I had reason 
 to believe that he was a perfect stranger to her. To 
 tell the truth, I did'nt half like her manner in this be 
 half, as a lawyer would say ; and as for Middleton, I 
 could perceive that he was no better pleased than my 
 self. But when she addressed him also as a friend 
 friend Middleton, it appeared to alter the case. He 
 stared first, and then bowed, and then blushed, and 
 then looked another way. 
 
 Yes, continued Gage, and if they were to employ 
 other people, as the war-makers do, instead of risking 
 their own lives and property ; or go to war with one 
 another merely for the sake of employing their super 
 numeraries, grumblers, hangers-on, I am very sure that 
 even among the New Zealanders, a price would soon 
 be put upon their heads ; for if you recollect m'am 
 bowing reverentially to the fair creature before him
 
 82 THE DOWN EASTERS, (fee. &C. 
 
 Elizabeth, friend Gage Elizabeth Hale, that's her 
 name, said her grandfather, before he had finished the 
 bow 
 
 Elizabeth Hale whispered Middleton I could 
 just hear the sound as he breathed it forth, just see 
 the motion of his lips ; his pale face all of a glow, 
 and the tone so modulated, perhaps by accident, as to 
 change a question into an apostrophe Elizabeth 
 Hale ? into Elizabeth ! Hail ! 
 
 But, continued Gage, as soon as he had recovered 
 from the bow I would not be understood to mean 
 that is to say there are cases- 1 believe there may 
 be cases, I should say don't you think so Miss Hale ? 
 wandering, by Jupiter ! (getting more courage and 
 more breath as he proceeded, and showing that even 
 he could be disconcerted by a pair of fine child-like 
 eyes to the astonishment of myself and the great 
 joy of Middleton) there are cases where, in short, 
 a a a where even war would be justifiable, not/or 
 the sacrifice, but to avoid the sacrifice of human life. 
 
 Thou shalt not kill, whispered the fair Elizabeth ; 
 and then she turned away, as if unwilling to to be led 
 into a controversy, and half ashamed of herself and 
 sorry for having said so much ; and I began to fe el, as I 
 saw her studying the deep sea once more, that I should 
 forgive her soon, for not having appeared to enjoy one 
 of my very sensible observations in the first part of 
 our voyage. 
 
 But we are not to understand such things literally 
 are we sir? continued Gage, addressing himself to the 
 grandfather, who appeared to triumph in her applica 
 tion of scripture. If so, we are to kill nothing 
 nothing not ven the beast of prey, the serpent, or 
 the mad dog.
 
 THE DOWN EA3TERS, &C. &C. 33 
 
 Thou shalt do no murder, friend Gage Nehemiah 
 Gage, I think thee said ? 
 
 Yes ; Nehemiah Elizabeth turned her face toward 
 Middleton, as much as to say Thine's the prettier 
 name by far ; and Middleton bit his under lip, as much 
 as to say I'm sure he thought so a very sensible 
 observation Miss Elizabeth ! what if they had tried to 
 christen me Nehemiah ? they'd 'a had a pretty time 
 of it, don't you think so ? And Gage continued But 
 if killing a fellow-creature is the murder meant there, 
 what becomes of the right of self-defence ? 
 
 I find nothing said about the right of self-defence 
 in the Book of Life, my young friend : we are com 
 manded to love our enemies, continued the grand 
 father, in a tone that would have stopped that contro- 
 rersy or any other, ashore. 
 
 And our neighbour as ourself, added somebody in 
 a low whisper at my elbow. It was Middleton talk 
 ing to himself; and I saw the color come and go over 
 the beautiful neck before me, and wander about in 
 flashes underneath the delicate gauze, like the soft 
 glow you see toward sunset in the month of Septem 
 ber when the large white flowers of the wilderness 
 and the solitude are blowing in the mist and warmth 
 of our Indian-summer the sweet-scented water- 
 lilies, if they would only blow in that month when 
 erery thing is unsteadied in the atmosphere. I was 
 completely bewildered. Perhaps the reader may be 
 so too ? 
 
 And moreover, continued the grandfather, we are 
 commanded to do as we would be done by. 
 
 Worthy of all acceptation ! cried Gage, looking at 
 the innocent mouth before him as if ready to follow
 
 34 THE DOWN EASTKRS, &C. &C. 
 
 the command to the very letter Middleton's eyes 
 flashed fire ! And I saw, or thought I saw, the shadow 
 of a projected under lip over the sarsnet-lining of her 
 little straw-bonnet, as that mouth turned away. 
 
 Fearing he had gone too far perhaps, Gage 
 continued in a different tone, as if with a view to 
 conciliate both. It cannot be sir, that you and others 
 who are willing to live under a government of laws, 
 Where the guilty are punished and the virtuous pro 
 tected by law it cannot be that you receive these 
 and other like passages literally? 
 
 And why not, I pray thee ? How are we to under 
 stand them otherwise on what authority ? The 
 language is clear very clear so clear as to need no 
 interpretation ; so clear as to be incapable of inter 
 pretation. 
 
 Yet we do, and we must continue to understand 
 them otherwise. For if literally, my dear sir, we 
 are to take no heed for the morrow, and to leave the 
 support of a family to chance ; if literally, we are 
 to do as we would be done by if, when smitten upon 
 one cheek, we are literally to turn the other ; and if 
 literally, when a man sueth us at law, and taketh 
 away our coat, we are to let him have our cloaks 
 also if we are to receive all these commands lite 
 rally, what would become of us ? Why have we any 
 laws upon earth, or any government ? Why any 
 fastening to our doors, or l5cks in our houses ? Why 
 not spend all that we have in rewarding the robber 
 and the ravisher, the house-breaker and the midnight- 
 murderer ? No sir ! one of these two things we 
 must do, whether Christians or not believers or nol 
 -whether friends or presbyterians, methodists oy
 
 THE DOWN KASTERS, &C. &C. 36 
 
 catholics we must either take these and other like 
 doctrines in a limited and qualified sense, even as all 
 Christians do, in practice, and all that make war in 
 any manner or contribute in any manner to the mak 
 ing of war, under any provocation; Or we must 
 give up the security of law, have done with all govern 
 ment, from the highest to the lowest, and all the 
 appendages thereto raze all our public-prisons, even 
 to our penitentiaries and bettering-houses, and lunatic- 
 hospitals to their very foundations ; let loose all the 
 unhappy creatures that inhabit them for our security 
 - lay bare all our treasures 
 
 Middleton began to breath fiercely here, and the 
 fair Elizabeth to look alarmed, sitting with her lips 
 apart and her eager eyes rivetted on Gage, who con 
 tinued with great energy. 
 
 Lay bare all our treasures throw open all our doors 
 and leave our daughters and our wives to the 
 spoiler ! 
 
 Friend Gage ! Nehemiah Gage ! said the grand 
 father, Avith a look of amazement. 
 
 I am perfectly serious, added Gage. 
 
 I believe thee, and am sorry for it, answered the 
 grandfather ; and when I looked at the fair Elizabeth, 
 she was pale as death, and her eyes were full of 
 strange sorrow. 
 
 But Gage persevered, and as for me, I was ,wickeel 
 enough to enjoy the idea of his forfeiting the favor 
 of both. 
 
 Perfectly, my dear sir. I see no otlier alternative. 
 He who contends for the literal interpretation of 
 those passages, must do so upon the ground that all 
 human means of protection are prohibited ; that self
 
 36 THE DOWN CASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 defence, not being mentioned in scripture, is therefore 
 unauthorised; that under all circumstances, and 
 everywhere, the Believer has nothing to do for him 
 self; for what is law, any law, for the protection of 
 property, life or character, but the right of self- 
 defence delegated ? 
 
 The old man shook his reverend locks, and poor 
 Elizabeth breathed only at long intervals ; but \vhen 
 she did breathe, her eyes were upon Gage there is 
 no denying it with an expression of deep interest. 
 I began to feel angry with her . 
 
 In which case continued he, standing more upright 
 and warming with the subject I hold it sir, to be no 
 more inconsistent for a Christian, who contends for 
 the literal meaning of those passages, to go to war, 
 than to go to law. 
 
 Grandfather would agree with the there ! said Eliza 
 beth, interrupting him with an eager smile, and a sigh 
 that I couldn't help referring to another. 
 
 Gage put forth his hand upon her arm so uncon 
 sciously, that she forgot to observe it; adding as he 
 did so, with an air that astonished me it was that of 
 a high-bred handsome fellow, confident of his power 
 and sure of being well received by a woman, say 
 what he would, or do what he would ; for this neither 
 Middleton nor I was prepared, I am obliged to you, 
 said he ; but I have not finished. And I hold sir, 
 that it would be no more inconsistent for the believer 
 to go to war, than for any body who adheres to the 
 literal interpretation of these passages, to fasten his 
 door.o* nights, or to have a lock-and-key under hU 
 i-o of. 
 
 But, my young friend, urged the grandfather if
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 37 
 
 we were all consistent, and always consistent, there 
 would be no need of bolts and bars, nor locks and 
 keys nor even of laws. And it is not for thee and 
 me to do wrong because others do so ; or to be incon 
 sistent because others are so. 
 
 There was a clencher ! and I could perceive that it 
 was so intended, and so understood, by all parties. 
 Another might have been abashed or puzzled ; but 
 our Yankee appeared to enjoy the idea of hearing a 
 new argument to answer. My dear sir, said he, we 
 do not understand each other. What I complain of 
 is that all are inconsistent ; and they, more than all 
 others, who receiving these passages literally, go to 
 law, or lock up their money, or under any circum 
 stances apply to the law for protection. 
 
 But we never do go to law, said the grandfather. 
 
 Excuse me sir. You never go to law among your 
 selves. Yet you go to law with others ; and the 
 stricteth of your faith would not scruple to apply to a 
 magistrate for protection against any body that he 
 seriously feared, or any one who threatened to destroy 
 his property or injure his person. 
 
 Very true and that is what thee calls incon 
 sistency hey? 
 
 Yes. And I go further. I say that if you were 
 consistent, instead of being what you are, incon 
 sistent, there would be a stop to the whole business 
 of life among you. Society would be overrun with 
 outlaws, robbers and ravishers. Is it a sure mode of 
 making others honest, for a man to fall asleep in the 
 higlway or the market-place, with his gold lying 
 about him in heaps ? or the best way of making others 
 peaceable, for a man to go with his hands tied behind 
 D
 
 38 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 him, among ruffians particularly if he assures them 
 before hand that he is worth an experiment, by assur 
 ing them before hand that they have nothing to fear. 
 Constituted as the world now is, he who forbears to 
 protect his own life, either by applying to the law, or 
 by making use of the bodily power he may be 
 endowed with, appears to me, sir, to be a very pre 
 sumptuous man. He crowds temptation in the way 
 of those who are least able to withstand it, and then, 
 having done this, he relies on a miracle for safety. 
 Nay more, he tempts Jehovah why not cast himself 
 down headlong from the pinnacle of the temple, in his 
 presumptuous confidence ? 
 
 The sweet girl grew very uneasy here ; and I saw 
 her thoughts wandering visibly between the elo'quent 
 northerner, and the silent southerner who stood 
 aloof with his haughty lip contradicting his lighted 
 eyes ; a gathered and concentrated power about the 
 mouth, dashed with a something scornful ; a loftier 
 and a more glorious look above, as though he felt 
 himself carried away by the generous language, and 
 high bearing of the man before him spite of a con 
 stitutional antipathy and a something more, which 
 nobody understood better than the fair Elizabeth, 
 who instead of being offended by the familiar manner 
 of Gage, appeared to be pleased with it or not to 
 observe it, where to a southerner it seemed worthy of 
 immediate and special reproof. 
 
 Talk of consistency sir! continued Gage, stepping 
 out from the circle and throwing a hurried glanc 
 round the whole company, as if he had another and a 
 higher object in view, than the refutation of the old 
 grandfather, his pale cheek reddening with concealed
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 39 
 
 fire and his grey eyes dilating with extraordinary 
 brightness for a man of the north. Talk of con 
 sistency sir ! If our Father above were consistent, 
 according to such notions of consistency, he would 
 love his bitterest enemies most, and he would treat 
 those best who behaved worst and so would the 
 Savior of men ! 
 
 And is it not so said Gerard Middleton ; do we 
 not find it so ? stepping quietly forth, and urging what 
 he had to say with a voice that thrilled through and 
 through me so earnest and so musical was it and so 
 eloquent with subdued emotion. What are all the 
 blessings we receive, all that we enjoy upon earth 
 health, strength and intellectual power opportunity 
 for deing good equally distributed every where and 
 at all times, without regard to our unequal merits ? 
 Nay sir What is the parable of the prodigal son ? 
 What the illustration that goes with it, showing that 
 there is more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner that 
 repenteth I have a bad memory for language sir 
 What are all these things but the recorded interpre 
 tation of our Father's will ? the everlasting order of 
 his works on earth ? 
 
 Having said this, he fell back as if astonished at 
 himself and more than half sorry for having been so 
 betrayed in such a place and in such company and 
 his lips quivered, and I could see that his hand tremb 
 led violently. 
 
 Gage looked up with a glow of surprize and joy 
 overspreading his intelligent face, and putting forth 
 his arm, he would have taken Middleton's hand, as it 
 lay palpitating over the top of a chair ; but Middleton 
 withdrew it, and Gage instead of knocking him down 
 

 
 40 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 smiled, not bitterly nor insultingly neither, but 
 pleasantly, as if he understood every pulsation of the 
 youthful and imperious heart before him. 
 
 Magnificently urged! cried he. And yet, if all 
 were to understand these things as you do, would 
 there not be encouragement for the transgressor, and 
 discouragement for the obedient and faithful ? en 
 couragement for transgression, I should say ? 
 
 My young friend Gerard Middleton I must know 
 more of thee, said the old man, seeing him about to 
 reply ; and of thee also, Nehemiah Gage for I am 
 satisfied (with a smile) I am satisfied that in thee, our 
 people have a dangerous adversary. I have heard of 
 thee before. Not contented with abandoning the 
 faith committed to thee by our fathers', I am afraid 
 (smiling benevolently upon him and upon Middleton, 
 as he proceeded) thou hast profited a little to our dis 
 advantage by thy long familiarity with our opini 
 ons ? 
 
 Gage colored. And Elizabeth poor Elizabeth 
 she looked as if the Arch-Apostate himself had ap 
 peared to her bodily. 
 
 Nevertheless, continued the grandfather, I cannot 
 deny that thee has a very ingenious plausible way 
 with thee, Ne-he-miah. I am not convinced to be 
 sure; and between ourselves I dont much think thee 
 would wish me to be convinced thee would rather 
 have such a controversy continue ; would thee not, 
 Nehemiah ? 
 
 Gage laughed, but assured him he wns greatly 
 mistaken. 
 
 Well, well I dare say so. Thee is not the first 
 that has convinced himself in failing to convince
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 41 
 
 others ;.Jbut before we leave the subject, there is one 
 passage I would refer thee to, and leave thee to 
 examine it for thyself, at thy own leisure. I allude 
 to that, where Simon Peter having a sword, drew it 
 and smote a servant of the High-Priest and cut off 
 his ear. Whereupon he Avas commanded to put up 
 his sword ; for said he, who spake as never, never 
 man spake, all they that take the sword shall perish 
 by the sword. 
 
 One moment if you please ! cried Gage, seeing 
 the old man draw the hand of Elizabeth through his 
 arm, and pull her bonnet over her forehead as if about 
 to leave us. I am as unwilling as you to continue 
 the subject here (with a decided emphasis, and a 
 flutter that betrayed the hope he entertained) ; but as 
 
 I may never have another opportunity 
 
 The devil take your impudence ! thought I. Now 
 there is Middleton, who would give his little finger 
 for another opportunity as you call it ; and here am 
 I, a personage not very easily disconcerted yet 
 neither could have said as much, in that way, if our 
 lives had depended upon it. 
 
 Never continued he much as I may desire it, 
 And some how or other, even I could perceive as well 
 as the fair Elizabeth, whose blue eyes trembled in 
 their own lustre when he looked at her, a something 
 very mournful and sweet in his altered voiee touch 
 ing I woul3 say, but for the fellow's breadth of 
 shoulders, high clear forehead, compressed mouth and 
 perfect self possession Allow me to ask you whether 
 you receive that passage literally ? 
 The old man hesitated. 
 
 D2
 
 42 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 In point of fact, I would ask you sir if all who 
 take the sword all sir, do perish by the sword ? 
 
 By the sword of the spirit perhaps, if not by 
 
 the sword of the flesh. 
 
 Ah ! then you give up the literal meaning ! Now, 
 without referring to the passage where the Saviour 
 commands every man who hath not a sword to sell 
 his garment and buy one I too have a bad memory 
 for language sir, glancing at Middleton and without 
 relying upon the circumstance that he never re 
 proaches a centurion for following the trade of war ; 
 I should argue from the very passage you have cited, 
 that one of these things must be true. Either the 
 Savior of* Men did not teach the doctrine of non- 
 resistance to evil as you understand it; or I pray 
 you to consider the alternative : Or, he did not teach 
 it clearly and explicitly, and to all: in other words, 
 my dear sir, that his immediate followers and constant 
 companions did not so understand it as you under 
 stand it : Or and here again I beseech you to con 
 sider the alternative or, that they were guilty of the 
 most unpardonable outrage toward him, at the very 
 moment when all his teachings, and promptings and 
 Bufferings were about to be consummated forever! one 
 of his followers an apostle, not only having a sword, 
 but wearing it into his very presence ; and wearing 
 it too unrebuked of the others ! up to the very 
 moment when he drew it bejfore the face of his Lord- 
 and-Master, the Prince of Peace, and smote off the 
 ear of his enemy ! To judge of this argument as I do 
 think it deserves, let me ask you sir, what would be 
 thought by your brethren, if a follower of George 
 Fox were to go armed into the midst of them on a
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 43 
 
 yearly-meeting day? Yet sir if the Savior taught 
 the same doctrines, and taught them as clearly as 
 George Fox did, Simon Peter offered a greater affront 
 by far to his teacher and to his brethren ! 
 
 A dead silence followed nobody moved nor spoke, 
 till the fair Elizabeth murmured out something, which 
 led her grandfather to observe, as he looked hurriedly 
 and anxiously, now at Gage and now at Middleton 
 We are commanded to love one another. 
 
 Yes, echoed another and a nearer voice, trembling 
 with timidity and issuing in a low sweet murmur 
 Yes ! We are commanded to love one another ! 
 
 Would you believe it! her eyes her dove-like 
 eyes instead of wandering from Gage to Middleton 
 and from Middleton to me when she said this, were 
 fixed upon Middleton ! 
 
 The fervid young Southerner was completely over 
 powered. He stood before her, like a child, speech 
 less and motionless ; I have no doubt, with a dread 
 ful sinking of the heart, and a terrible ringing in the 
 ears. How I pitied him ! But I pitied Gage more. 
 Both are dead in love with her, said a stranger at my 
 elbow and I'm ditto !
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 . i 
 
 ON shifting my quarters and going farther forward, 
 where I might pursue the train of thought conjured 
 up by the lively picture of society I had just left, I 
 found myself in the company of another stranger, 
 evidently from the south perhaps from Baltimore, 
 as he was remarkably well-dre.ssed, rather sallow, 
 and given to calling unmarried females, whatever 
 might be their age, Miss hit or miss, I should say, 
 though if I were a woman of a certain age, like Han 
 nah Moore, Joanna Bailie or Elizabeth any body, 
 I think I should rather be hit any how, than missed 
 in that way ; at the south, it is regarded as peculiar 
 to the north, as downright a vulgarism, to say ma'am 
 to the unmarried, as to talk about a dish of tea, though 
 both, instead of yankee are English modes of speech. 
 Before five minutes were over, that which was only 
 conjecture at first, became certainty ; for the individual 
 in question while talking with me about the curiosities 
 of our northern speech, had the misfortune to say 
 in'-quiry, deciss'ive, adver'tiss, and dif-fic'-ult. W 
 were interrupted by the Down-Easter with a figure 
 head to his face, talking to another. Why then, to 
 the best o' my belief, said he,_the tor'-mented critter ! 
 he's a sort of a travellin' missionary goin' about to 
 an* fro in the airtb. seekin' what he may devour ho 
 ho ho ! 
 
 I started and turned to see whom he had in view 
 and whether it was really and truly a laugh or only a
 
 THE DOWN EASTER, &C. &/C. 45 
 
 dry cough ; but I did not succeed in satisfying myself, 
 and to this day I continue in doubt. He had never 
 laughed before to my knowledge nor do I believe 
 that he has ever laughed since like other people. 
 
 No great shakes tho' arter all, continued he, sitting 
 on the windlass, talking apparently to himself, with a 
 long nine in his mouth, and swinging his legs, some 
 where between 225 and 280 on the average, for 
 ten minutes together ; lives by swappin' watches and 
 so-forths, six days o' the week, an' preachin' at the 
 halves, or maybe for his board an' hoss-keep a* 
 aabba-days. 
 
 Preaching at the halves how's that? said tho 
 southerner. 
 
 Why dont you know? in partnership for what'* 
 taken up arter the sarmon's over ; sometimes they go 
 snacks, an' sometimes they sell out aforehand for so 
 much over an' above thir reglar wages. 
 
 How ? snacks hey ? I don't understand you I 
 never heard of this before. 
 
 I want to know ! exclaimed the other down-easter. 
 
 Well you do know, replied the southerner, in per 
 fect good faith, mistaking a northern exclamation for 
 a formal interrogatory. 
 
 Why, continued the down-Easter there's them 
 that preaches yer see and then there's them that rides 
 about an' drums up the congregation poor business 
 though, now I can tell ye quite spylt for the reg'lar 
 trader so many pious young men about now that 
 has their expenses paid, so 't they are able to 
 under-preach the rest of us ; there's some on 'em 
 gits a dollar a day an' found; when if they was
 
 46 THE DOWN EASTBRS, &C. &C. 
 
 obleege to work honestly for a livin' they wouldn't 
 airn the salt to their porridge 
 
 Let alone their porridge ! said the Baltimorian. 
 
 Well well I've no objection to that nyther, answer 
 ed the down-easter, also in perfect good faith and 
 simplicity, mistaking a southern idiom, for a gentle 
 reproof. 
 
 Here a most obstreperous peal of laughter broke 
 forth, from a tall, showy, handsome, savage looking- 
 fellow, whom I had not observed before. Who is 
 he what's he laughin' at ? sees somethin' over 
 board, I ruther guess, dont you ? wonder where he 
 was brung up, to have no more manners than that 
 comes to? continued the latter of the down-easters, 
 tacking question to question by the score, without 
 waiting for a single answer. , Taint half an hour ago 
 't I heard him talk about growin' potaters an' makin' 
 corn, an' raisin' niggers guess he was pokin' fun a.t 
 somebody ; an 7 then I should like to know (in a 
 whisper) what upon irth he means by hog-an-pmminy, 
 an' hoe cakes, an' pone bread, an' mud-larks that's 
 made into Virginny-ham. I'll be driv right in eend, 
 if I can see through that. 
 
 Before I had time to reply, my friend with the 
 nose, rounded to and bore away on another tack, 
 propounding so many questions without appearing to 
 see me or any body else, or to care a fig about being 
 answered talking to himself as it were in a loud 
 earnest voice that I determined to have a pull at the 
 game he was putting up, on my own account, or per 
 haps I had better say, on my own ' account and risk ;' 
 for there is no little risk in setting- a down-Easter.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 47 
 
 If I am not much deceived, said I you are a New- 
 Englander ; are you not? 
 
 Me ! What makes you think so ? 
 
 That's enough I am satisfied now. 
 
 Satisfied ? who with ? yourself or me ? 
 
 Perfectly satisfied best answer I ever heard in my 
 life ; a great deal better than yes or no ; for it a- 
 mounts to proof proof positive that you are of 
 those that always answer a question by asking 
 another. 
 
 Why how you talk ! ,-M 
 
 Here, the travelling- trader against whom I had been 
 cautioned, and who had followed me without being 
 perceived, spoke up and addressing himself to the 
 other who was on the wheel asked him what he 
 thought of the war ' take it altogether inside an' 
 out, as the nigger sjaid.' 
 
 Why, what do you think of it yourself? was th 
 reply. 
 
 Ah ha ! I know what makes ye so snappish ; see 
 through you, when you fust cum aboard if I didn't, 
 there's no sneks in our part o' the country leave't 
 to you, neighbour : appealing to me as if we we? 
 on the most familiar terms in the world, and taking 
 up my hat as he spoke, and blowing about the rich fur 
 by way of parentheses. 
 
 I replied as well as I knew how, and forthwith a 
 political set-to began, which continued till there 
 were five or six of a side all talking together laugh 
 ing swearing smoking and calling one another 
 blue-lights, jacobins, tories, democrats and enemies to 
 the country. The sharpest and bitterest, nay th* 
 rudest and coarsest things were said but all in a 
 
 '
 
 48 THE DOWN EASTER8, &C. &,C. 
 
 good-natured way, like brothers pretending to be in 
 a passion, though they would strike their fists upon 
 the empty hogsheads, and their eyes would flash and 
 their chins quiver with rage one minute, and they 
 would all burst out a laughing together, and clap their 
 hands, and stamp their feet, and hourra the next, as 
 the one side or the other happened to give a good 
 hit. In the midst of the uproar my attention was 
 called off to another group so thoroughly charac 
 teristic of a steam-boat conversation-party that I 
 could not forbear listening awhile. 
 
 One had a newspaper and was reading aloud to the 
 rest in a way that appeared to amuse them exceed 
 ingly. When he came to what he called an outlandish 
 word, he would stop and spell it, and then push for 
 ward again with a speed that left him breathless at 
 the end of every paragraph. T. Z. A. R said he, 
 how do you purnounce that air, mister ? turning to 
 Gage ; never had no schoolin' to speak of myself 
 
 Ah ! said Gage, with a look of surprize 
 
 No, never, an' the leetle I do know I've picked up 
 here an' there, nobody knows how; an' I don't 
 purtend above all to know but plaguy leetle about 
 grammar an' jogrify. T. Z. A. R. I should call 
 that Teazer the Teazer of Rooshy, hey ? 
 
 Well, and why not ? said Gage ; free country you 
 know. 
 
 Wai ! I declare ! If that akit jest my way o' think- 
 in'. Taint more an' three years ago last fall raising 
 his voice and looking about him with an air of growing 
 superiority when I was a candidate for our leegis- 
 later, or may be youd call it legis'-latoore ? some folks 
 do an' bein' one o' the se'-lectmen, I was in the
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 school-committee, says I to master Smith says I, who 
 cares for Noah Webster, says I, or his THIRD PART 
 eyther says I or for Perry's dicksonary I've gut as 
 good a right to my pernouncyashun as they have to 
 theirn, says I, ary one of em, says I T-Z-A-R, T 
 stands for T. dont it? and Z-A-R spells Zar, dont 
 it? an' that makes Teazer, if I aint most plaguily 
 mistaken. 
 
 Precisely, said Gage. And if you are ever on the 
 school-committee again, I advise you to try them all 
 round with that very word. See if they can spell it 
 after you, or pronounce it either. 
 
 Work em about right, hey ? plaguy tough fellows 
 some on 'em though ; take most any word apart ever 
 you see, and put it together again full as good as 'twas 
 afore an' sometimes better. Tried him once with 
 tremendyous and squire Joe Smith he yaw hawed 
 right out, and said he'd be most particularly dum- 
 squizzled if there was any sich a word. Putty feller 
 for a squire, wannt he ? an' a 'chool committee-man 
 loo ! But 1 guess I paid him well for it, afore I was 
 done with him. Next year he might 'a been governor, 
 with a salary o' six hunderd dollars a year 
 
 And found 1 said Gage. 
 
 An' found ? no indeed find himself putty good 
 wages too, I should say; for my part I offered to 
 take it for half price and give the balance towards a 
 new meetin'-house but bein' a lawyer, he might 'a 
 had the whool, an ben allowed somethin' hansum to 
 boot for wear an' tear. 
 
 Washing and mending, you mean, hey ? said Gage. 
 
 JNo I don't nyther we do our own washin' an* 
 E
 
 50 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 
 
 mendin' where I live all the representatyves, and 
 why should'nt the governor? 
 
 Taint posserble ! said Gage. I looked at him in 
 amazement. You, would'ntbelieve it possible reader, 
 for such a man, v./ith such a face, to hoax any body 
 alive 
 
 The down-easter went on describing how he had 
 managed to defeat squire Smith, electioneering against 
 him throughout the whole neighbourhood ; putty 
 feller for a governor ! added he, when he had got 
 through not to know there was sich a word as tre- 
 mendyous ! 
 
 Pray sir, said the little Bostonian turning with an 
 air of authority toward Gage, and glancing at the 
 bystanders, as if to prepare them for a triumph, pray 
 sir, upon what ground, if you are serious, do you 
 pretend to justify the pronunci-ation of that word, 
 Tzar ? if you are serious, I say ? 
 
 If I am serious my dear sir ! What can have led 
 you to suppose me not serious ? The true sound of 
 the ancient C. (I began to be puzzled myself here : 
 was he or was he not humbugging a brother yankee ? 
 For my life, I could'nt tell.) Of the ancient C. has 
 never been settled. The learned, (with a bow 
 which the other took to himself) are uncertain to this 
 day, whether he whom we call caesar was not called 
 Kaesar by the Romans. The emperor of Germany, 
 the direct inheritor of the -title you know (another 
 bow) is called der Kaiser, which would seem to justi 
 fy the idea. Odds in favor of Gage. 
 
 To be sure, but and here the other began to look 
 bewildered. 
 
 But then, as the Italians say ladzaretto, and pen*-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &,C. 51 
 
 siero, for lazzaretto and pensiero, mixing the sounds 
 of d and t with those of z and 5 like the Russians 
 another bow and the Russians having borrowed the 
 title of Caesar, and corrupted it by their horrible or 
 thography into Tzar (speaking faster and faster every 
 moment, so that his antagonist had no way of escaping 
 the mystification) I confess I do not well see how we 
 can avoid following them so far at least as to call 
 their T, by its right name T, instead of C. Three 
 to one for Gage. 
 
 Nor I sir nor I but then as to the a a I want 
 you should show me, that is to say Tor where the 
 object of discussion is not so much victory, as truth, 
 we had'nt ought appealing to the company never 
 ought I should say blushing to the eyes and be 
 ginning to switch his boots with his pocket-handker 
 chief to take too much for granted as Butler says 
 ever read Butler's analogy sir? or Adam Smith, or 
 the Spectator ? 
 
 Precisely sir I agree with you there, said Gage ; 
 but then, Rome was not built in* a day ! and he 
 looked about him with such a knowing air, that several 
 of the bystanders began to wag their heads at one 
 another, as much as to say what a snag of a fellow 
 at an argument ! all to nothing for Gage no 
 betters. 
 
 And moreover, continued he, addressing himself 
 anew with a deferential bow to his antagonist I 
 have an idea, and I should be happy to have your 
 opinions upon the subject sir. I have an idea that 
 the languages of Europe abound in similar corrup 
 tions why may we not have the Teazer of Russia, 
 as well as the Dolphin of France, the Clam of 
 Tartary and the Dog of Venice ?
 
 52 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 The clam of Tartary, and the dog of Venice ! 
 cried the other; as if, notwithstanding the perfect 
 simplicity and good-faith of Gage's countenance, he 
 had begun to suspect for the first time, that we were 
 laughing at him. And what might have been the 
 consequences but for an accidental interruption, I 
 would not take upon myself to say : for he grew very 
 pale about the mouth, and there was an angry flash 
 ing of his bright blue eyes that indicated a dangerous 
 temper. A hundred to one offered ; no takers. 
 
 1 presume sir* said a tall thin awkward man with 
 knock-knees, and green goggles and protruding eyes, 
 fugging out his pocket-handkerchief with a violent 
 flourish, and stepping up to Gage I presume sir, that 
 you have never been in Rooshy speaking in a very 
 sharp key, and so as to attract every body's attention 
 pulling off his goggles and wiping them so carefujly., 
 with his teeth clenched and his queer-looking eyes 
 roving about over all our faces with an expression of 
 cool confidence which had a very unfavorable effect 
 upon those, wh j, hut a moment before, had been ready 
 to hurra for Gage, have you sir ? bets equal for 
 the new comer. 
 
 Never, said Gage, without any change of counte 
 nance never. 
 
 Well sir I have ! 
 
 The devil you have ! said Gage ; with an air of such 
 unaffected astonishment, as to deceive me for a while. 
 Gage losing favor. 
 
 Yes sir! straightening himself up, replacing the 
 goggles, withdrawing his feelers and giving his pocket- 
 handkerchief another deliberate and circumstantial 
 flourish, (five to four against Gage) and there they
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 53 
 
 pronounce the word give me leave to tell you sir 
 Tzar and not Teazer 
 
 With all my heart, answered Gage ; but give me 
 leave to ask you sir what does that prove ? Bets 
 even. 
 
 Prove sir prove ? said the other, shifting his feet 
 once or twice, changing his pocket-handkerchief no 
 less than five times from one hand to the other, and 
 taking off and putting on his goggles three times, 
 before he had worked out the answer wiping them 
 every time and appealing to each of the different by 
 standers by turns, with a peering into his very eyes that 
 diverted me inexpressibly Prove sir? why sir, it 
 proves that if the Italians do say Ladzaretto, that's* 
 no reason why other people should say Teazer! 
 
 Indeed ! said Gage, and bets were all going the 
 
 other way. 
 Ah, 
 
 ha ! there yqu have him ! said the other 
 antagonist ! answer me that if you can ! whispered 
 a third. That's into yer, a few ! I ruther guess ! 
 cried a fourth. The current was evidently setting 
 hard in favor of the new comer. 
 
 Why sir, continued Gage, if you mean to infer that 
 pronunciation of the word to be right, because they 
 pronounce it so in Russia, then you would justify 
 every sort of corruption, every sort of pronunciation ; 
 the Scotch, the Welsh, the Irish, and the Yankee in 
 talking English as they do : For they do what ? just 
 exactly what the Russians do, borrow other peoples 
 words, appropriate them to their own use, without 
 leave or license, and spoil them. And then forsooth, 
 we are to follow their example, are we ? If they 
 cannot spell, we must'nt if they spell Caeaar with a 
 2
 
 54 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 T, we must, hey ? Hourra for you ! cried a by 
 stander, give it to him Gage ! One more round my 
 boy and the game's up ! 
 
 My own idee 'gzackly ! cried the school-committee- 
 man. 
 
 Not a fair case though, answered the man with the 
 goggles by no manner o' means ; wunt allow it, 
 nor touch to ! As if them that use a word most are 
 not likely to know best? Getting wild into him 
 Gage ! One hundred to five no taker. 
 
 Do we always find it so in. point of fact? continued 
 the imperturbable Gage. Did you ever hear a me 
 chanic say le'-ver? Don't they all say lev' er? even 
 the watchmaker and the rnachinest, with their patent 
 lev-vers. Do you know a single navigator who 
 does'nt say hor'-izon for hori'zon, a painter or draw 
 ing-master who does't say a'riel for a-erial ? a school 
 master who does'nt say pronun-ci-a-tion insteau of 
 pronunshiation, though he never thinks of saying 
 offi-ci-al, but oflishal ; a lawyer who does'nt say to- 
 Bummons for to summon, evidence for witness, 
 ten'-ure for te'nure, and perhaps recon'nizance, for 
 fecog'-nizance ; a builder who does'nt say pylaster 
 for pilaster, or a lover of back-gammon who does'nt 
 play the "very devil with the names of the throws, 
 however well he may speak French at other times- 
 Baying tray-ace, and syzes, and deuces and kayters 
 I might go through with soeiety in the same way. 
 
 The man with the goggles had nothing to say he 
 was thunder-struck at the volubility and seriousness 
 and readiness of Gage, and stood staring at him, 
 speechless and motionless, with his mouth wide open* 
 Fifty to one on Gage all to nothing ! Time ! time !
 
 THB DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C, 55 
 
 and the adversary not being able to come up, 
 Gage untied his handkerchief and jumped over th 
 ropes.
 
 CHAPNER V. 
 
 WAL clone you 'squire ! cried the se'-lect-man, 
 clapping Gage on the back with tremendous good 
 will ; Hooraw for you,. I say ! gin' it to 'em both about 
 right, hey ? trig little feller he is too tho' I cant 
 say 't I admire to see peeked-toed shoes, or a man's 
 eyes rigged out with spy-glasses and feelers gut a 
 half-pistareen about you frind ? hy tee tytee! turning 
 to another, who appeared to be laboring under some 
 fierce emotion, his uppor lip working after the manner 
 of Lord Brougham's, and his mouth twitching con~ 
 vulsively at every motion of his head who are you 
 
 makin' mouths at, hey ? 
 
 * 
 
 God bless you, my friend, whispered I the poor 
 
 fellow cant help it. 
 
 Cant help it! why not, I should like to know? 
 
 Why don't you see, whispered another yankee, 
 he's got a wry mouth.. 
 
 /tye-mouth rye-an-injunn more" like. 
 
 What more could I say ? All further explanation 
 would be useless ; and to tell the truth, I could not 
 help agreeing with the man as to the sort of mouth 
 before us, much as I pitied the proprietor. 
 
 Everlastin' hot weather ! Tiint it you ? continued tho 
 down-easter ; 'nough to try out a side o'sole-lcather ; 
 for my part, I'm all runnin' away. 
 
 Taint the fuss time nyther, I'll bate f said the man 
 with the unfortunate mouth ; and then turning toward 
 a fellow-passenger, he continued, as if renewing a
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 57 
 
 conversation about a murder which had occured the 
 day before at Philadelphia, I'm no frind to capital 
 punishment, an' never was ; but if ever a feller 
 desarved to be frittered in two with a hansaw, that 
 feller dooze. 
 
 Sarved her right ! cried another ; and then after 
 running himself entirely out of breath, he protested 
 the man had no right to be hung; while another 
 declared, with equal appropriateness of language, that 
 such a cold blooded murder was ridiculous, and that 
 the man ought to be hung right away had'nt ought 
 to live another hour. 
 
 The eyes of both were turned upon Gage. I'm of 
 your opinion said he, speaking to the last nothing 
 can be more ridiculous than cutting a woman's throat 
 in her sleep in the dead of night. 
 
 Ah ha ! what did I tell you? cried the individual 
 whose opinion he had so handsomely adopted. And 
 I agree with you, also, continued Gage, turning to the 
 other, the poor fellow has no right to be hung, and I 
 dare say if he were hard pushed, he would own it 
 himself or give it up, if you were to try him at the 
 foot of the gallows. 
 
 There now what did I tell you ! cried the other. 
 
 I sayyou ! mister ! shouted the man with the 
 nose, rounding to, as he happened to see apassen- 
 ger at work upon his lips with a spunge dipped 
 in sweet-oil. They were dreadfully chapped. I say 
 try some o' this ere lip-salve, wont ye ? had'nt y* 
 better? allays care some on't about me slickest 
 stuff for piles ever you see ! lugging out the identical 
 box we had seen before, and offering the blue pig 
 ment to the sufferer. 

 
 
 68 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Faugh ! cried the other should our engine get 
 out of order, your panacea might come in play there 
 again ! 
 
 Te be sure ! take a notch out of a broad-axe in 
 less 'an three wipes ; did'nt I tell ye so have 
 some ? 
 
 Go to the devil with your nasty trumpery ! 
 
 Frind ! I meant no offence, an' I'm sorry for it; 
 but if you'll allow me to express my opinion, I should 
 Bay that a lectle o' that are a very leetle scooping 
 out as much as he could with his thumb-nail, and 
 holding it up not more 'an you'd want to soap a 
 griss-mill with jess slicked over your lips, inside 
 an? out, you'd be a much easier man for the rest o' 
 the day; an' talk more to other people's satisfaction. 
 
 And then, having sahl this, he walked off, enjoying 
 the half-suppressed laugh that broke forth at intervals 
 for five minutes afterwards, with the most innocent 
 look you ever saw. After a while he crossed my 
 path again Hullow! said he; don't care if I do take 
 another nip o' your snuff, seein'-ts you! 
 
 I reached him the box, and my gentleman, after 
 opening it as far as it would go and rapping the kiver 
 as he called it, and shaking it as a puppy would an 
 old hat and tipping it up, first on one side and then 
 on the other, till his forefinger and thumb, already 
 prepared for the business by the lip-salve, had corner- 
 jed the last pinch there was left as the dog Billy 
 would the rats; and then, without the slightest com 
 punction or hesitation, availing himself of the ad 
 vantage, so that none escaped, he slicked it all up, 
 and returning the box he said he ruther guessed I 
 want very fond o' snuff only cared a box for fashion- 
 
 verv loi 
 
 '
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &-C. &C. 59 
 
 sake! and then, after a short pause and a laugh or two 
 which set my ears ringing, he added proper snarl 
 o' folks here aint they ? Wonder how much the 
 skipper here he turned to a neighbor how goes it 
 Nathan ? Cleverly, I'm obleege to ye ; how goes it 
 with yourself? wonder h"w much he gits a year, 
 privilege, pci quisytes an' all hey 1 putty good bairth 
 I'm a thinkin', if they let him drive on sheers, an' I 
 rather guoss they do by all accounts; ever ben-over 
 the Bay State or Varmount ? 
 
 Never, said I. 
 
 I'm sure I've seen you tho', or somebody plaguy 
 like you, haint I? 
 
 Quite possible. 
 
 Quite posserble, hey ! more 'n that I rather guess 
 why, you look as naiteral, as the nigger said don't 
 know yer name though ? 
 
 No. 
 
 Somewhere in the back-parts o' New-Hampshire 
 may be ? 
 
 May be so. 
 
 Wai ! I thought so I swamp it if I did'nt ! felt 
 considerble acquainted with you from the very fust 
 what may I call your name? 
 
 What you please. 
 
 Ah ! oh you aint mad nor nothin' I hope. 
 
 Not in the least. 
 
 Wai then can't ye tell a feller yer name ? 
 
 Pretty fair ! said I in a voice intended for Gage, 
 who stood near me, with his arms folded, leaning 
 over the rail and evidently enjoying the 6tttechism of 
 the down-easter. 
 
 Ah, but your chrisa'n name : your given name ?
 
 60 THE DOWN EA8TERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Peter. 
 
 Peter ! Peter ? ah, I know I'd seen you afore 
 somewhere ! travellin' hey ? ben to Pheladelphy ? 
 
 I bowed. 
 
 \Val, I say though, Mr. Putty putty putty 
 quair name tho' that o' yourn by the hokey ! as ever I 
 come across. 
 
 Pooty-far pooty-far ? drollest name ever I heard, 
 make the best on't though taint none of your choosin' 
 I spose bear it like a good feller, thats the way, 
 never know'd many o' that name in our part o' the 
 world. 
 
 What ! never heard o' the Potiphar family ! cried 
 Gage. 
 
 Lord you ! that I have ! Speakin' o' names though, 
 there'll be a fight aboard, afore long. 
 
 A fight ! said I, rather alarmed I confess at the 
 abrupt communication of what I dreaded more than 
 any earthly thing a fight in a crowd. I hope not. 
 
 O, but there will tho'. That air long chap there 
 from Tennessee, he's ben havin' a spat with the 
 capun about you mister (looking at Gage) and he vowa 
 he'll whip you as soon as he gits you ashore. 
 
 I looked at Gage. His countenace never altered, 
 and he replied in such a quiet natural manner, that I 
 believed him, when he said You are under a mistake, 
 my friend ; it cannot be with me that he would quarrel. 
 I have had nothing to say to.him. 
 
 Thats the very reason ! He swears he'll take the 
 stiffenin' out o' you an' that air little southerner. 
 
 Which little southerner ! demanded Gage in quit* 
 another voice. It startled me, and when I looked up, 
 he was leaning forward with lighted eyes and tremb-
 
 THE DOWN E ASTERS, &C. &C. 61 
 
 ling very hard his hand shook too, I saw that, as it 
 lay spread out on the bench, with its rigid sinews and 
 square muscles in action. It was like the paw of a 
 wild-beast for strength, and gloriously fashioned. 
 
 Why that are chap you was with below, said the 
 Down-Easter. 
 
 Gerard Middleton, hey ? 
 
 Do tell ! is that his name ? 
 
 Take the stiffnin' out o' Gerard Middleton will 
 
 he? 
 
 Never shall I forget the expression of that man's 
 face, when he uttered these two brief words will he ! 
 It made me catch my breath. He got up and walked 
 away after saying this, and when I looked again I saw 
 him in close conversation with the down-easter, in a 
 distant part of the vessel where they could not be 
 overheard. 
 
 If they go to kickin up a dust here, they'd better 
 look out that's all, said somebody at my elbow, who 
 appeared to understand my very thoughts it was the 
 swapper against whom I had been cautioned. I know 
 a feller 'twould whip the whool boodle of 'em an' 
 give 'em six an' there he goes now ! ever hear tell 
 o' Gage AthertonGage? that's the very man; rather 
 too much of a gentleman to be sure, but he can't 
 help that runs in the blood, naitral to the family 
 old Jerry P. R. Gage was the biggest gentleman ever 
 you see, an' so's the whole bylin' of 'em. 
 
 Atherton Gage said I you must be mistaken ; his 
 name is Nehemiah. 
 
 Nehemiah ! Nehemiah Gage ! Nehemiah Fiddle 
 stick ! don't I know ? 
 
 But I heard him say so it must be Nehemiah ?
 
 62 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 I tell ye taint. His rayal name is Atherton Gage 
 his mothers name's Atherton, but jess for the fun o' 
 the thing sometimes he calls himself Nehemiah, or 
 Peltiah, or Hezekiah, or some such old-fashioned 
 name. He's rayal Yankee, I tell ye ! clear grit an' 
 smooth as ile ; slick as grease, we say. Why where 
 've you ben all your life, not to hear tell o' Atherton 
 Gage son of old deacon Jerry P. R. Gage of Quam- 
 phegan ? best wrastler in all New-England ; gwin' 
 right away inter Kentucky, jess to have a try there 
 with some o' them air fellers that's brought up to 
 Ingeen-hug among the bears, an' if you ever bate, 
 I'll bate ye any thing you like in reason an' plank 
 the money too which as I was a sayin' Old rugged- 
 an'-tough they used to call his dad, famous wrastler 
 he was too, warped with hoop-poles an' filled with 
 oven-wood ; beatemest feller ever you see for some 
 things ought to go by the name of old say-nothin' 
 away from our part o' the country, but when he's to 
 home (talking very slowly and quietly, and eying my 
 watch-fob all the time) why Lord you ! he's a 
 match for gab with any body 't ever you come across 
 getting hold of my hat and blowing up the fur and 
 examining every part of it, inside and out, and glanc 
 ing every now and then at his own, which he had 
 rigged out with a new hat-case and stowed away 
 under the chair. But as you're from Feladelphy 
 what a pocky tarnal great place that must be ! by all 
 accounts, may be you can tell us how dry-goods in 
 jinral is there ? 
 
 Dry-goods ? 
 
 Yes needles an' pins, and calico and cultery an' 
 o forth and so forth putty good cloth that o' yourn
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 63 
 
 for war-times laying his hand on the sleeve of my 
 coat, and smoothing down the nap who's your 
 maker ? 
 
 My Maker ! Oh, I understand you my tailor you 
 mean ? 
 
 Yis who made your cote ? Is that a Feladelphy 
 hat o' yourn, though ? What do they come at there, 
 cash on the nail ? 'Spose abody was to take three 
 or four right out, and say no more about it whool- 
 sale hey ? 
 
 I do not know. 
 
 My stars ! why didt'nt you say 't you'd come from 
 Feladelphy ? 
 
 So I did but as I do rot live there, it would be 
 impossible for me to answer such questions . 
 
 New York then, hey ? 
 
 No. 
 
 Albany ? 
 
 T shook my head. 
 
 Or New-Haven ? or Providence ? or Boston ? 
 or 
 
 No sir no sir 
 
 Or Salem ? or Newberyport ? or Portsmuth ? 
 beginning to say over Morse's Gazetteer, page by 
 
 Page- 
 No ! no ! no ! said I, speaking as fast as I could, 
 and enjoying his look of amazement and perplexity 
 put on for the occasion I believe now more than I 
 ought perhaps, if it was not. 
 
 Well then ! drawing a long breath, and beginning 
 to admire my boots where upon airth do ye live ! I 
 shouldlike to know, laying his foot alongside of mine, 
 and turning it this way and that, as he pursued the
 
 64 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 investigation, either to satisfy himself about the com 
 parative size of our feet, or to make me observe that 
 his boots, evidently new, were topped off in the 
 highest fashion of the day. 
 
 Live said I in reply to the last interrogation 
 here and there, and every where ; in other words 
 no where. 
 
 Jess so ! and then after a long pause where do 
 ye stay then ? Where do ye keep ? 
 
 No where. 
 
 Wai ! you're more'n a match for me, I'll say that 
 for ye any how ! another long pause, but only long 
 enough to breathe our indefatigble down-easter for 
 another attack . 
 
 Aint the wandering jew, air ye ? and then, instantly 
 aware that he had overacted his part, he added ; you're 
 from tother side arter all, I'm a' thinkin' ? 
 
 'Tother side T 
 
 From over there away yenrtar. pointing to the 
 high-seas. What do ye pay for sech a pair o' boots 
 as them in Eurup? Newest fashion there all the 
 kick I spose, hey ? 
 
 I laughed I could not help it laughed aloud, 
 and long and heartily. But he was no way dis 
 concerted. 
 
 Wai I thought so ! if I did'nt there's none o' me, 
 thats all ! more n two hours ago, says I to capin Trip 
 says I, capin ! says I ; thaf air chap there with the 
 gool watch, he's from the old country, if he aint, I'll 
 eat a grin-stone -jess so / an' whats mure say* I, 
 that air hat he's gut on, aint a rayal beaver hat no more 
 'n you air, says I nothin' but a silk hat says I an' 
 then, says I, capin Trip, says I jess look o' them.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 65 
 
 eloth stockins outside o' his shoe (eying my drab 
 gaiters) any body might know. 
 
 Cloth stockings outside of my shoes the rascal f 
 
 Capin Trip, says I, any body might know, says T. 
 did'nt I mister? (to the man at the wheel) that he's 
 from tother side or (lowering his voice) or wants to 
 be thought so ; and whats more 'an all that, says I 
 he dooz'nt seem a mite afeard o' the man' o' war's- 
 man off there 't we passed as tight as we could spring 
 and you know you did'nt ! and what's more yit, 
 says I, he never says nothrn' about the war says I r 
 an' when he seed leetle Georgee, says I, an old 
 Tennessee says I, jess goin' to pull hair, says I, he 
 would'nt hourraw for nyther side, says I jess so ! 
 
 Nor did you, sir, if you mean the foolish dispute 
 below. 
 
 Not I, you may depend ! a leetle too fur east, I 
 ruther guess for them sort o' didoes. When the 
 southerners come to a close grip with one another,, 
 what do we care ? don't they keep a hunderd or two 
 o' great nasty bull-niggers a piece, jess to sharpen 
 their knives on without a rag to kiver 'em, starving 
 *em most to death all the time, an' lettin' their wo 
 men folks and babies slash 'em up with case-knives, 
 for jess nothin' at all, an massacree *em most to death, 
 when there's company to dinner, jess to sehw 'em what 
 they can do? Haint they sold their own flesh an' 
 blood many a time to get money for a cock-fight or a 
 boss-race? do'nt we know 'em of old? Thats what 
 they call gettin' the yeller-boys , I spose I've been 
 there, an' I've heern 'em say so many a time ; pocky 
 tarnal shame! butter my hide if taint; an' what 
 should we care, comin' from a land o' liberty wher 
 
 F2
 
 66 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 there aint no niggers to speak of, when we see secle 
 folks fall together T>y the ears where there's hun 
 dreds an' thousands on 'em taint washed from one 
 years eend to another, an go about the houses thicker 
 'n the frogs in Ejup, an' a plaguy deal nastier I've 
 ben there, I tell ye, an' I know what I'm sayin' of 
 which it is no wonder we love to see the feather& 
 fly. 
 
 And why so pray ? 
 
 Why so ! Why what business has the niggers 
 there ? Let them that likes 'em have 'em, I say : 
 An' if they go to quarlin' about 'em, an' cuttin' one 
 another's throats, whose business is it ? Not ourn I'm 
 sure. We told 'em how twould be, long enough 
 ago. >_ fV 
 
 Yet in your part of the country, you are not over 
 friendly to the blacks / believe said somebody in a 
 quiet mild voice, at our very elbow. It was Middle- 
 ton himself. 
 
 Frindly ! what dye ye mean by that? do ye think 
 we keep company with niggers, or make frinds of 
 'em, hey? 
 
 And why not, if they are well-behaved I 
 
 A nigger well-behaved ! guess you don't know 
 what your talkin' about mister. 
 
 Or a mulatto- 
 
 Jess as bad all alike I tell ye; aint a copper to 
 choose betwixt 'em if there^s a drop o' nigger-blood 
 in 'em, they'll always show it in their temper. 
 
 How in their temper ? 
 
 How in their temper ? Why you know as well as 
 me they're right down ugly when theyre mad, clear 
 niggerish. Why taint more'n a month ago t' I heard
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &G. 6T 
 
 a great he-nigger tell a white man that if he struck 
 him with his whip, hed split his head open with the 
 axe why, in our part o' the country they think 
 themselves most as good as white folks, every bit 
 election-days. 
 
 And what if they do if they are otherwise well- 
 behaved you tax them, dont you ? 
 
 Tax 'em ! to be sure we do ; they are free-niggers 
 that way. 
 
 Do you ever put them into the jury-box? 
 
 Into the jury-box haw, haw, haw ! 
 
 Or into the militia ? 
 
 Into the militia ! Why frind, you dont seem to 
 know much about New-England who do ye think 
 would train along side a pesky nigger, in a free 
 country in the dog-days. 
 
 Or a mulatto 
 
 Yes, or a mulatto eyther, down to the fortyeth 
 generation. 
 
 Do you ever allow them to visit you ? 
 
 Visit me ! niggers visit me ! I'll tell you what 
 tis frind, if you are pokin' fun at a feller- you'd 
 better find somethin' else to do, that's all ! 
 
 But I am perfectly serious. I am only asking a 
 few questions, which I hope you are good-natured 
 enough to answer, as civilly as they are put. 
 
 Oh, wal ! if thats what you're divin' at whip 
 away. 
 
 Do even the poorest and most worthless of your 
 white men ever associate freely with the blacks or 
 mulattos in your part of the country 1 
 
 Why no! I tell ye. They wunt eat together nor 
 play together, nor sleep in the same room together if
 
 68 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 they can help it ; and our overseers o' the poor would 
 be ashamed to ask it, when they're a town-charge. 
 
 Are the children of colored people admitted to the 
 same benches with the whites in your free schools 
 
 On the same benches ! By gimini ! if I should'nt 
 like to see sambo Smith's boys cipherin' along aside 
 o' mine at our town-school ! I guess I'd have a word 
 to say to master Cobb an' the school committee too 1 
 an' the select men ! Putty fellers to be sure ! 
 
 But who is Sambo Smith? 
 
 What ! never hearn tell o' Sambo Smith ! he twas 
 out in the revolutionary war, and tho' he was only a 
 hired man o' gineral Green, he fit the innimy more in 
 three hours one arternoon, with ony one other great 
 lazy good-for-nothin' nigger 't had lost his arm to 
 help him old Cato Frost you see old Cato laid 
 down in the grass an' bit off the catriges and primed 
 the guns, fust one and then tother, as Sambo blazed 
 away at 'em out o' the stone-mill, where old Put had 
 left some flour for the continentals no idea afore 
 'at ever Sambo had shot off a gun ; killed ever so 
 many o' the troopers afore they'd give up, some said 
 eighteen or twenty ; others not so much, though some 
 was carried off, my dad says, and he was out the 
 whool war, that six bodies was found arterwards, in 
 the bushes an' among the logs in the river. 
 
 Ah! yet this man who_pays taxes and is free- 
 born perhaps of free parents? 
 
 So I've hearn tell. 
 
 What kind of a character does he bear? 
 
 What kind of a character? O, good enough for a 
 nigger, I tell ye ; works hard as any body and brings 
 up gran children like the rest of us; owes nobody
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 69 
 
 nothin', takes off his hat to every body he sees when 
 he goes to the corner, never drinks a drop, nor swears 
 a word, an' they do say is a rayal Christian belongs 
 to the church too. 
 
 Ah, a member of the church ! 
 
 Oh ! yes ! 
 
 Do they allow him to sit side by side, with the 
 white communicants at the communion-table 1 
 
 What ! in a tone of unqualified amazement ; and 
 then all at once perceiving the drift of Middleton's 
 questioning, he added Why no ! the nigger'd rather 
 take his 'lowance in the porch I've hearn him 
 say so. 
 
 And so they let him take his allowance in the porch, 
 hey like Lazarus. 
 
 O, but ahem ! old Sambo, he's gettin' old now 
 'an he'd a little ruther not go to the table, / 
 know. 
 
 And rather not serve upon the jury, or train with 
 the militia perhaps even before he grew old? 
 
 To be sure ! The nigger'd only be laughed at, if 
 he was to be darned fool enough to sarve. 
 
 You let him go to the polls I hope ? 
 
 Oh! yes! We all'ys care him up parties ben 
 
 putty equally divided, so good an' so good, in our 
 town this five years, an' Sambo gets a ride every 
 year, one side o' tother ; stuffiest nigger ever you see 
 tho' ! Wunt vote for nobody 't he dont like, no 
 matter who gives him a recommend ; and what's more 
 nigger than all that, he wont tell aforehand which 
 aide he's goin to vote for, and sometimes he wunt 
 vote for nyther, an' sometimes he'll vote right agin 
 the side that brung him up.
 
 70 THE DOWN EASTER8, &C. &C. 
 
 Middleton took off his hat, and drew himself up, 
 and looked about him, as if wondering to find^himself 
 so altogether alone as he appeared to be, in his majestic 
 admiration of old Sambo Smith a glow of indignant 
 wrath burning all over his forehead in the depth of 
 his large dark eyes, and about his firmly shut mouth, 
 as he walked proudly away. 
 
 Ah, ha ! gut his belly-full, I ruther guess, continued 
 the other; don't care which side whips, when the 
 nigger-drivers falls out among themselves ; an' I told 
 'em so did'n I mister? oh, you're in the sulks agin 
 I see ! dont care for that though ; raial down-easter 
 I tell ye. 
 
 And how do you know but I'm a down-easter? 
 
 You a down-easter ! eying me more narrowly then 
 ever, and fumbling for his pocket-handkerchief, as if 
 to assure himself that all was safe, before he ventured 
 upon a more particular acquaintance you a down- 
 caster ! you! shaking his head slowly very slowly. 
 Why how can that be? Hamt 1 axed you one by one 
 about all the places down-east, where a feller could 
 find sech a slick fit as them are glancing at my boots 
 and then at my coat? No, no, Mr. Potiphar Peter 
 Potiphar I think you said? thats what we should 
 call a snorter, down-east. Ah, you may laugh! laugh 
 away ; laugh as much as ever ye like, but I want you 
 should go long o' me to the map, and show me where 
 yer live. Tell you what "'tis neighbor I can see 
 through you. 
 
 What dye mean sir ? 
 
 Dont I know ye ! an' did'nt I say so when ye fust 
 come aboard ! dont talk to me whizz ! You from 
 down-east ! putty joke faith ! Do you play chec-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 71 
 
 kers ? or fox an' geese ? or morris ? or all fours? 
 or shoe-make-loo ? or te-to-tum ? 
 
 I shook my head, one by one, to this string of 
 questions, uttered at longer and longer intervals, in a 
 sharper and sharper voice, till the astonishment of 
 the man exhausted itself in a long and a fixed stare. 
 
 Draw cuts? or open a book for the nighest letter? 
 or chalk the floor, hey? or jump up and kick? 
 
 I'm yer man by Gawd, stranger ! I'm the boy for 
 any thing or that sort ! cried the tall Tennessee 
 youth, who had kept aloof till now, lying on his back 
 by the hour, with a long nine in his mouth and a shot- 
 belt full of sugar plums dangling over his breast. 
 I'm the boy for that! hourrra ! run, jump, or kick, 
 wrastle or fight, for all I gut here ! slapping his 
 breeches-pockets, and springing up with a loud bois 
 terous laugh that sounded not unlike the half-smother 
 ed roar of a good-natured wild-beast I'm your man 
 for all that, an' half the plunder about ye if ye dare! 
 hurra ! And then he flung a handful of sugar-plums 
 right and left over the deck where a group of children 
 were at play. 
 
 I had observed him at the breakfast-table, eying the 
 dishes with a wary look, and fighting shy whenever 
 he was helped as if he hated the very knives and 
 forks for interfering with a more summary method 
 of getting into what he called the ' belly-timber,' after 
 a fashion of his own with the paws of a she-bear, 
 and the appetite of a grist-mill. Yet he was a good 
 natured, handsome, savage-looking fellow ; and at 
 the worst only a rougher, and I believe in my heart, 
 a better sort of Yankee, with more manliness and 
 straight-forwardness than our people have now.
 
 72 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 While I was trying to get a sketch of him, as he 
 threw himself out His whole length over the bench, 
 the swapper renewed his attack on me. Fore-warned, 
 fore-armed thought I, and I determined to favor him 
 with all the opportunity he could wish.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 1 say tho' Mr. Potipher, thats a plaguy neat lookin' 
 watch o' yourn 'ti seed ye have ; I should like to heft 
 it, if you've no objection I put my watch into his 
 hand, without a word of remark I wonder now if 
 you'd mind my seem' how'ts put together? over 
 hauling it and hefting- it between every two words, 
 ransacking it inside and out, seal, chain, clasp] and 
 guard, but so cautiously and so skilfully as to show 
 that I had nothing to fear. That he might proceed 
 with the investigation more at his leisure, he off coat, 
 rolled up his shirt-sleaves, loosened his shirt-collar, 
 and put away his old hat with a deal of superfluous 
 care, and actually dropped upon his * heads antipodes' 
 while the boat was plunging through a heavy sea, 
 much to the amusement of the fair Elizabeth, who 
 had been clinging to the rail ever since the departure 
 of Middleton, with desperate strength, and looking 
 overboard with half-shut eyes and a quivering lip 
 growing paler and paler at every plunge. 
 
 After he had taken it apart and put it together 
 again or adopting the definition of the other down- 
 easter about orthography after he had spelt it, as 
 thoroughly as I would allow him using only a tooth 
 pick and a ninepenny whittler as he called the knife 
 he made use of he shot the kiver and wiping the face 
 
 with his new bandanna as affectionately as a mother 
 would that of her youngest born after a somerset in a 
 duck-puddle he seemed on the point of returning
 
 74 THE DOWN EA.STERS, &C. &C. 
 
 the watch hesitated withdrew his extended aro), 
 the fingers involuntarily contracting over the treasure 
 even while he kept saying, there she is frind ! 
 there she is ! take her, and never say 'tive hurt her, 
 hide or hair. How old is she? not that I want you 
 or any body else on airth to tell me that ; guess I 
 know by her click, about as well as any body, without 
 lookin' at her teeth 
 
 Take care ! said I, as he held her up, and swung 
 her round by the chain : the watch is at your risk 
 if she flies off, you must pay for her ! 
 
 I pay for her ! What for ? Wai, wal, I spose you 
 know more about the law 'an I do ; dont seem to rne 
 to be altogether fair shakes somehow for a feller to 
 have to pay jess as much for only lookin' at her 
 insides a minnit, as if he'd bought her right out slap 
 dash I'll leave it to ary one o' you if tis ? 
 
 How much do ye offer? askes the Tennessee-youth, 
 who had been capering about hither and thither for 
 the last quarter of an hour, like a dislocated windmill 
 * adrift under an idea that a man six feet high was a 
 fool to be sea-sick how much '11 ye give stranger ? 
 And then without waiting for a reply, he added You 
 may look at my insides for half the money ! out 
 whittler if ye dare ! And away he scampered with 
 both hands plastered over his mouth paws I might 
 say, though he did'nt go on all fours toward a place 
 where he told me afterwa'rds he threw up his shoes 
 and stockings, a jacket lined with tripe (I give his 
 own language) and his commission, that of major in 
 the mounted militia, which he had torn to pieces and 
 swallowed the day before in a rage with his briga 
 dier, for saying twa'nt gentlemanly to spit on a
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C &.C. 15 
 
 hearth-rug, or to blow your nose with your fingers, 
 and wipe them on your pantaloons. And I'll 
 leave it to you, stranger ! said he as he wound up the 
 story of his affront if sich a feller as that's fit to be 
 a brigadier o' the mounted rangers ? Taint more 'an 
 a month at the very outside, sense he turned out with 
 a new pocket-hank' cher for the fuss time an'ts never 
 ben out of his hand sense, by Gawd ! An' I up an' 
 told him so right to his head mister brigadier says 
 I, by the time you're a gineral right out, you'll have 
 a ruffled shirt o' your own says I, an' expect your 
 understrappers to wash their faces every campaign, 
 says I ; an' eat buffaloe-punch with a knife an' fork,, 
 says I hourra ! if I did'nt I wish I may be d d ! 
 
 Ruther a limpsy chain though, continued the down- 
 easter as soon as he had got his breath ; watch putty 
 fair best imitation I've seen since I dont know 
 when. 
 
 Imitation? said I'.. , 
 
 Yes pinchback. 
 
 Pinchbeck ? 
 
 Yes that what dye ye call 'em stuff, washed over 
 with gool leaf. 
 
 Pho, pho man that is neither pinchback nor imi 
 tation. 
 
 Posserble ! What is it then ?. 
 
 Gold fine gold. 
 
 Maybe you'd like to wage somethin' o' that man 
 enough aint ye to back your word with a trifle ? pull- 
 uig out an old tattered wallet with what appeared to 
 be a large roll of paper money in it. Say the word, 
 if you dar'st and we'll leave it out to the fuss man. 
 qomes along for jess what you like.
 
 ?6 THE DOWN EASTER9, &C. &C. 
 
 Pho, pho nonsense ; I'm no friend to wagers. 
 What I tell you is the truth, nevertheless. 
 
 Sneks an' spiders I you dont say so ! If the wind 
 cants in a little more 't the norrard the fog '11 scale oft" 
 I ruther guess ; wherebouts are ye goin' to set now 
 inarm? I did'nt speak to you, mister; nor to you 
 nyther, marm nary one o' ye ; but to that pore little 
 gal there ; she ought to have somethin' to take right 
 away and somethin' to hold on by too ah, what's 
 that are book about ? Leetle a more. 
 
 All these questions and remarks were uttered in 
 precisely the same tone of roice, now to one by 
 stander, now to another ; and then he took up a 
 volume it was Walter Scott's Rokeby Leetle o' 
 more, you'd a' lost it overboard R. O. K rok-E 
 rokee b. y. by Rocke-eby that's it, hey ? chock 
 full o' varse hey ? 
 
 Precisely, said Gage Rockeby baby on the tree- 
 top ! humming the old nursery air with his eye upon 
 Middleton, poor fellow ! who sat near the little 
 quakeress, so altered and so pale so deadly pale 
 and so helpless, that much as he desired to continue a 
 conversation with her, which the down-easter had 
 interrupted, he could not and after several attempts, 
 rising up, and opening his mouth, and clinging to the 
 rail within a few feet of her, anxious to betray a 
 proper sympathy for one so beautiful and so attractive, 
 he finished, by turning his back abruptly upon her, 
 and rushing to a distant part of the deck. I saw him 
 and pitied him of all sickness, there is none so 
 selfish, so hateful and so prosaic, none so trying to a 
 first love, I do in mt heart believe, as that of the sea
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 7T 
 
 with its ' untrampled floor,' and glorious depths, and 
 Magnificent shadows, and glad waters, and blue lustre* 
 and all that. 
 
 They were like strangers for a time, sitting so near 
 to each other all the while, that over and over again,, 
 her beautiful hair swept over his very mouth and eyes, 
 and instead of thrilling at the touch, he never knew it 
 nor did she ! I pitied them both, and was happier 
 than either I verily believe, Avhen they recovered so 
 far as to recognize one another, and smile and blush, 
 at their odd forgetfulness of propriety ; one of the 
 prettiest feet in the world having wandered away 
 from the modest drapery ihat clung to the instep and 
 shivered with every breath---and the slope of a per 
 fect shoulder, from which the plentiful gauze had been 
 lifted away by the sea-breeze, or the motion of the 
 boat, having some how or other found its way into 
 the open air on the side next the enamored youth 
 whose cravat always negligently tied, was now 
 dropping like a shower of snow into his bosom- 
 while his black hair fell with a prodigious effect 
 
 about his pale face 1 never saw a finer picture 
 
 both, were- in love,, deeply desperately in love. ! 
 saw it in their eyes, I heard it in their breathing 
 and I turned away. 
 
 Not pure goole tho' whatever you may say, neigh 
 bor, continued the down-easter, following me as I 
 moved away; jewellers goole may be? or Attlebury-. 
 gx)ole? We make broches o' lead an pewter, at 
 most of ou tin-ware factories, and then give 'em a 
 lick o' goole leaf, or copper-leaf all the same in dry 
 weather never, seed a watch sarved so before to. 
 
 4ay tho'. 
 
 G2,
 
 78 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 
 
 Maybe, you've seen a chist o' draws washed over 
 with mahogany, hey ? or tin-ware put together with 
 shoe-maker's wax, said the man with the nose, drop 
 ping into conversation here as naitral as could be 
 If you haint, I have ! 
 
 You dont say so ! 
 
 Wai that's pooty nigh the truth for you what if 
 you try agin ! 
 
 Wai, if ever ! fetching a long breath and pretend 
 ing to be overwhelmed with astonishment. Con'sarn 
 it all mister ! anybody that takes you for a dumb fool 
 would'nt be very much mistaken, would they ? 
 
 Not more 'an half as muehras if they took you for 
 an honest man. Try agin, will ye ! and off he 
 inarched. 
 
 You shet your yop, an* mind your own business 
 if you know when you're well off! said the the first 
 after the other was out of hearing And so mister 
 Potipher, as I was a sayin* Peter I think you said : 
 I've gut a neephew o' that name, all'ays a favoryte 
 name with me ; smart feller as ever you come across 
 lugging out a heavy silver watch, as he said this, 
 a genuine bull's-eye with a huge copper logging- 
 chain, a bell-metal face, and a bear-trap for a toy 
 dangling at the end of it ; dropping his voice or 
 changing the subject whenever any body came 
 near What an everlastin' spell o' weather we 
 have had ! haint we ? a 1>it of a rogue he was 
 too, when he want more 'n knee high to a 
 bumbly-bee 
 
 Jess what I should expect I said the other, cutting 
 in again as he passed by, and continuing a sort of 
 yaw, haw ! till it was drowned by the noise of the
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 79 
 
 noise of the sea bursting and roaring about oar 
 path. 
 
 Clear grit an' no grease I tell ye ! twirling the 
 great lubberly chain about his wrist, and leering at 
 me through a pair of eyebrows like swallow's nests. 
 Not much in names tho' arter all may be ? There 
 now ! jess look o' that air ! There's a watch for 
 you ! Thats what I call somethin' like ! none o' them 
 pitch-pine bureaus jess slicked over with a wash o* 
 moggany not half so thick as your nail that are 
 feller's ben talkin' about wonder what he's good for 
 all jaw like a sheep's head, while I'm allers right 
 up an down like a sheep's tail goin' over a wall 
 why, neighbor, that air's about the beatemest watch 
 ever you see ben a a-guyin' more'n sixty years ri^ht 
 off the reel never stopped to wheeze, I tell ye ! jess 
 look o' here now see what a hell-fired noise it 
 makes ! 
 
 He was right. Whenever he shook it, and held it 
 up to my ear, it made a noise like a coffee-mill. I 
 jumped when I first heard it, and he called out for me 
 not to be afraid. 
 
 Heft it, said he heft it man ; what are ye afeard 
 of? twunt hurt ye. 
 
 I took it up, and seeing Gage a little way off, began 
 heaving and weighing it with both hands. 
 
 Heavy agin as that o' yourn, ye see! capped an' 
 jewelled and then, lowering his voice to a dry whis 
 per, he added, what'll ye give to boot? 
 
 Give I said I, in amazement. 
 
 Or take! 
 
 I laughed I could bear it no l<&pger laughed till 
 my sides ached ; and poor Elizabeth laughed too,
 
 SO* THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &Ci 
 
 and her excellent old grandfather upon whose am* 
 her head lay, with her luxuriant hair all abroad oven 
 her disordered neck, he laughed, and all who heard 
 us, except that strange fellow Nehemiah Gage 
 or Atherton Gage, if I mightbelieve the down-easter, 
 laughed with her. 
 
 But our swapper was not a man to be so easily 
 thrown out ; and after a little rest, he began onco 
 more in a still lower whisper, with his eye upon 
 Gage; and after saying, I want you should give me a 
 letter o' recommend to Pheladelphy, as I ruther guess 
 I shall go back that way, and I'll give you another to 
 Barnstable, or Boothbay, or most any where along, 
 ashore he wound up with, How'll you swap ? 
 
 Swap ! 
 
 That's it ! ben. out in no less 'an two wars aready 
 heft it will ye ? spry as ever yer see ! another pause, 
 and another careful examination of my countenance 
 followed, as if he the poor innocent was afraid of 
 being cheated by me! we are pon honor,.! hope? 
 
 I hope so, said I. 
 
 Fact is, I aint much of a sharper myself; and then 
 seeing the other down^easter. approach, he lifted up 
 his head as if talking about some very indifferent 
 affair, and asked him if. he could whittle agin the 
 wind. 
 
 The other, who had been whittling a bit of soft 
 pine for the last half holir, into forty successive 
 shapes now rounding it into a spigot, and now into a 
 clothes' pin now into a small spoon, and finally into 
 a miniature j>nuff-box with a moveable covr and a 
 perfect hinge, cut out of the solid wood, working his 
 penknife with consummate ease and swiftness, heaved
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 81 
 
 to at this queer salutation, and after eying his antago 
 nist with a knowing look for a moment, he tipped me 
 a wink, as much as to say didint I tell ye so ! and 
 was walking off; when the other, not at all em 
 barrassed by the reproof, stopped him by saying, I 
 say, mister, let me see your knife a minnit ! 
 
 Wai there ! said the other holding it up before his 
 eyes. 
 
 Pshaw ! you know what I mean I want to borry 
 it holding out his hand cant you let a feller see 
 the edge. 
 
 No nor feel the pynt, without I keep hold o' the 
 handle; gut eyes in the eends o' your fingers hey? 
 and off he walked. 
 
 That air chap's no gentleman I swan if he is! 
 aint fit to carry guts to a bear ; howsomever as I said 
 afore ; aint much of a sharper myself, and if we're 
 
 gwyin' to trade fair 
 
 To trade fair I dont understand you ; who spoke 
 of trading? 
 
 Fair play's a jooel friend hate a sharper as I do 
 pyz'n ; a dicker's a dicker I allays concate, where 
 people's upon honor, but not where they aint; dont 
 care how close a feller is closer an' button-wood- 
 bark, all the better for me, for I love to git away jiit 
 by the skin o' my teeth an' a leetle more. 
 
 I began to grow tired of this. Thank you for my 
 watch, said I ; offering to return his at the same 
 time. 
 
 But he hesitated about receiving his own back, and 
 began looking about perhaps to find a witness that 
 would prove a swap saying as he did so, with more 
 and more earnestness and vivacity every moment,
 
 82 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Which as I said afore, if you've a mind to stick to 
 the swap a bargain 's a bargain you know ? aint it 
 mister? to a foot passenger on his way to Baltimore- 
 
 I'll thank you for my watch, was my answer to 
 this. 
 
 My stars ! Have it now, or wait till you can git it I 
 all honey an' hug a minnit ago ; an' now ! marsy on 
 us ! what a change ! 
 
 Give me the -watch ! 
 
 Why what a feeze you air in, to be sure ! 
 
 Dont provoke me sir! 
 
 At a word then how'll you swap I 
 
 No how give me the watch I say. 
 
 Possable ! Buy it of ye then what '11 ye take T 
 
 I started to my feet, I dare say with no very amia 
 ble expression of countenance, for I had growl* 
 heartily tired of his pertinacity. 
 
 Buy or sell frind all the same to me what '11 ye 
 give ? make us an offer, if ye dare ! 
 
 At this moment a loud jarring bell, wheezing and 
 sounding far and wide over the agitated sea, interrupt 
 ed our talk ; and up came the steward to say dinner 
 was ready. But I would not stir a step till I had 
 secured my watch. And the down-easter, who tried 
 to allay my fears by reminding me that he did'nt con 
 sider the watch as altogether at his risk, would'nt 
 leave me till I agreed to a proposition which tickled 
 me prodigiously. And what do you think it was, 
 reader ? Why nothing more nor less than for me to 
 leave the value of my superb repeater to be fixed by 
 a third person, and then to sell her at the price he 
 named ! 
 
 As I live, I had half a mind to say yes, and refer thfr
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &/C. 83 
 
 question to the very individual who had watched over 
 me so- faithfully, and warned me so frequently against 
 the tricks of this fellow. 
 
 But perhaps he suspected my design ; for he added 
 in the same breath, as if to secure himself against 
 any misfortune of that nature- ; that instead of choos 
 ing an umpire, we should take the first person that 
 came along, and then if I refused to sell, or if 
 he refused to buy, at the price mentioned, the 
 party falling back should treat or pay for three 
 dinners. By jove ! said I to myself, but I'll fix him 
 so far as three dinners go he richly deserves it 
 and so under pretence of more fully understanding 
 the proposition, I repeated it after him, keeping my 
 eye upon the man with the nose, then evidently pre 
 paring to follow the others to dinner-^-and finished 
 just at the critical moment, to secure him as the first 
 person that came along. Already had he grasped the 
 mahogany railing a moment more, and he would 
 have disappeared down the companion-way. Such 
 an opportunity for revenge was not to be let slip, 
 and I insisted on the very letter of our contract. 
 My antagonist demurred for a moment, and there was 
 a something in his eye, which at any other time would 
 have induced me to relent. 
 
 Wai, said he, if it must be so, it must I 'spose 
 though I should'nt think twould be any put-out to 
 you to take somebody else ; and then he gave up, 
 though with evident unwillingness, and a peculiar 
 twitch of the mouth and sparkle of the eye that 
 delighted me exceedingly at the time though not so 
 much afterwards ; and we called the man to us, and 
 I stated the question chuckling at the bare idea of
 
 84 THB DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 out-witting one down-easter by the help of another, 
 and so handsomely too ! 
 
 Why! said the umpire, whose hurry to get away 
 augmented in exact proportion to the noise below a 
 noise like nothing I had ever before, asleep or awake 
 a country-tavern election day, or a crockery-ware 
 shop running off at the heels of wild-horses, or 
 another Brummagem got loose and breaking up for a 
 voyage over sea, with steam-engines to match these 
 and these only occur to me as even tolerable types of 
 the uproar that followed, growing louder and louder 
 every moment, till we could hardly hear ourselves 
 speak Why a a standing first on one leg and 
 then on the other if you're both agreed. 
 
 We assured him we were, and my companion, 
 began to look so sheepish you've no idea how 
 diverted I felt, though as the venerable quaker after 
 wards assured me, I kept my countenance to a charm, 
 all things considered. N. B. I never forgave him for 
 the remark. 
 
 Why, continued the umpire twisting the watch- 
 chain about his fingers and hefting the whole concern 
 as he called it and weighing the whole matter so 
 conscientiously upon my word, I hare no patience 
 with myself, when I think of his unmatchable coolness 
 or of my own self-satisfied stupidity why to tell ye 
 the truUi mister ; you're both strangers to me I'm 
 no great judge o' these ere" kind o' jimcracks fair 
 tradin's gut to be putty pore business now, an' fair 
 traders terrible skase most every body jockies for 
 themselves now feller cant cut his own fodder, if he 
 dont shave tarnation close, I tell ye ! which its my 
 opinion, an' you may let it go for jess whats worth an'
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 96 
 
 no more that's my way an' your watch may be 
 gool as you say and may be not : whereupon 
 shifting his leg and interchanging a glance with the 
 old quaker, who bit his lip and looked at me where 
 upon, as I said afore, considerin' how turrible thick 
 you've ben all the parsage, notwithstandin' all I could 
 say could'nt tell which was which five minutes ago, 
 you sot so close together hitching up his mouth till 
 there was only one side to it, as if astonished at the 
 clearness of his own exposition A a-a its my best 
 judgment frinds never good for much though, as I 
 said afore that somewhere about fifteen dollars or 
 fifteen-fifty or say fifteen-seventy-five, at the very 
 outside, weighing the watch again with a grave 
 thoughtful air as he concluded the decree would be 
 about the fair valley on't these times, an' pesky hard 
 times they air too, I tell ye ! Judge of my amaze 
 ment ! 
 
 Why sir said I, laughing in spite of my vexation at 
 the ridiculous figure I cut, between such a pair of 
 thorough-bred sharpers only consider; fifteen dollars 
 or fifteen-fifty, or fifteen seventy-five, at the very out 
 side as you say upon my word, the little amethyst 
 you see there, the smallest seal of the whole bunch, 
 cost me double the money ! 
 
 Dare say ! cant help that tho' ; dont pertend to be 
 much of a judge both strangers to me, as I said 
 before. 
 
 Very well, said I, though I longed to remind him 
 of what he had said of the other, some three hours 
 earlier in the day when he knew him of old Very 
 well ! lifting my foot with an emphasis jvhich diverted 
 the old quaker prodigiously, and the young quakeress 
 H
 
 86 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 too, if I might judge by what I could see of her 
 mouth below the handkerchief that she teld up to it, 
 and beginning to descend the stairs very well 
 / am satisfied. 
 
 What! hey! satisfied! you aint though, air 
 
 ye ! cried both together, struck all of a heap it seemed 
 to me. Taint posserble ! cried the umpire. "Why ! 
 . . . . ! cried the swapper ; and there I left them 
 staring at one another as if thunderstruck. Their 
 first idea undoubtedly was, that instead of jockeying 
 me, as they termed it, they were handsomely jockied 
 themselves, perhaps with something inferior to pinch- 
 back or bell-metal. 
 
 Yes, I repeated, yes my good sir, satisfied so far 
 as to making a full stop to enjoy their perplexity 
 so far as to we were interrupted again just here. 
 
 Mind though ! cried the umpire, the disinterested 
 umpire, who had happened upon us by accident, after 
 cautioning me so frequently and so earnestly to be- 
 'ware of the other, mind though ! you jest warranted 
 that are watch pure goold ; an' what's more, I'm a 
 witness on't ; and if I'm no judge, as I said afore, I 
 ruther guess I'm a bit of lawyer when I am at home 
 haw, haw, haw! 
 
 Whereupon, I continued satisfied, gentlemen, 
 
 if you will hear me out so far as to pay for three 
 dinners, and treat you both 
 
 Jess so ! cried the first. Ginmee you yit by 
 Jings ! added the other hourray ! their countenances 
 brightening up immediately 
 
 And treat you both, as you deserve, I added from 
 between my shut teeth I could'nt help it the ras 
 cals ! Saying this, I hurried down the steps and left
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 87 
 
 them whispering together. But my ill-humor I own 
 vanished on my arrival at the dinner-table, whither 
 they pursued me instantly and without shame or 
 remorse, each fortifying the other at every remark 
 and pretending to the last never to have met before, 
 nor even to know the others name. I saw clearly 
 enough now that they had been playing the whole 
 voyage through not so much for the watch, as for 
 the dinners, being, after all perhaps, rather better 
 judges of the latter than of the former commodity ; 
 and that if they had failed to get it in this, or in some 
 other similar way, by hook or by crook, as they term 
 it, they would have gone without or dined on the con 
 tents of their sugar-boxes, and wallets, and saddle 
 bags ginger-bread and salt-fish perhaps, or apples 
 and cheese, or rye-and-indian-bread, fat-pork and cold 
 beans but we have gone far enough perhaps, for one 
 chapter, 

 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 MIND, Cap'n Trip ! this ere man pays for the three 
 for both of us two an' himself! cried the foremost 
 in doubling the captain's chair, on our way to the ta 
 ble ; to which very delicate intimation I had nothing 
 to say, as the captain did not hear them in the bustle 
 of making room for two or three new comers. Our 
 places were now secure, and I had seated myself with 
 a view to business being, if I may be allowed so to 
 speak in a devil of a hurry to go to work, and as 
 hungry as a wolf, tworthirds famished when one of 
 my two associates called out to the steward in passing, 
 a colored man I say, mister ! this 'ere man here, 
 pointing to me, and then laying hold of my collar, pays 
 for three ; mind now ! ye're to look to him for all we 
 eat an' drink no put out to you, I hope ? 
 
 This matter stated, and the judgment of law fairly 
 bespoken, they seated themselves one on each side of 
 me as if to make sure of a subject, much to my an 
 noyance, but altogether more to my amusement ; for 
 all eyes were upon me, whenever they condescended 
 to open their mouths. Middleton I thought under 
 stood the matter and compassionated my situation ; 
 but as for Gage I believe in my heart I should have 
 quarrelled with him any where else, but for the repu 
 tation he had, so much did he appear to enjoy my 
 occasional embarrassment and their uncouth familiari 
 ties, though he said nothing, and there was little in 
 his look to cohiplain of, except perhaps a slight con-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 89 
 
 vulsive twitching about the mouth, accompanied by a 
 brief contraction of the forehead, now and then, which 
 another might not have cared for. 
 
 Two tables were spread the whole length of the 
 large cabin ; both were crowded at last, and I have no 
 doubt there were two hundred passengers, may be 
 more, all eating together and all talking together as 
 fast and as loud as they could speak, for about half 
 an hour. 
 
 Pray, sir to give the reader some idea of the 
 scene pray, sir, murmured a fat choleric-looking 
 man, opposite me, will you do me the favor to pah ! 
 what the devil is that! cried another at my elbow, 
 jumping half out of his chair and overturning a dish 
 of melted butter that a servant was trying to push by 
 his elbow. Will you do me the favor, sir, continued 
 the first, as to help me to a a to help me to a to 
 a ! growing more and more nervous and impatient, 
 and speaking louder and louder at every repetition, 
 till the murmur had became a shout 
 
 Hullow there ! bear a hand, will ye interrupted 
 another. 
 ,, To help me to a to a 
 
 Louder! louder! screamed a voice further off, like 
 a wretched clarionet with the reed split louder ! 
 louder! can't hear a word you say ! Two plates en 
 counter each other at this moment midway of the 
 table both are smashed the veal cutlets fly one 
 way and the fried fish another louder, if you please ! 
 
 I turned my head toward the speaker, and saw a 
 
 little thin man stooping half across the (able with his 
 
 hand to his ear, trying to make out the bluff petition 
 
 of the choleric old gentleman, who had risen half out 
 
 H2
 
 90 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 of his chair, and now stood with his mouth wide open 
 his head stretched toward the other and gesticu 
 lating, like a thorough-bred East India captain, 
 doubling the Cape with bad officers in a hurricane. 
 A laugh on my left obliged me to turn my head that 
 way. One of the down-easters had pulled a large 
 roasted fowl out of the dish, upon the soiled table 
 cloth, and was sawing it in two mid-ships, with his 
 mouth full of bread-and-butter, which he kept sup 
 plied during the whole operation. 
 
 Waiter ! wai ter ! screamed another shrill voice 
 afar off, so shrill as to be distinctly heard through all 
 the uproar, like a " wry-necked fife' at a militia mus 
 ter, or an octavo flute in a full band haloo there ! not 
 a waiter to be seen, by George ! 
 
 Not a waiter to be seen faith ! I can see nothing 
 but waiters, answered somebody else. 
 
 Here, boy, here ! this way an' be damned to you ! 
 
 growled another. Cuss the nigger ! he shouted again, 
 
 with his mouth so full he could'nt make himself heard, 
 
 Begga parron, massa ! twan't my fawt, if massa 
 
 preeze. 
 
 Nor was it. The chicken a devilish tough chicken 
 I thought, and so did the sufferer, I dare say, had 
 slipped from the clutches of the operator from down 
 cast, into the lap of a burly midshipman, who was 
 that instant reaching his plate across the table, swim 
 ming with fish gravy poor "fellow ! it turned out to 
 be pudding-sauce, after he had cursed the nigger 
 again, cleared his throat and swabbed his white ker 
 seymeres. Nobody knew how it got there he had 
 just spread out the favorite part of a favorite fish 
 and there he sat, eying it in dismay, and breathing as
 
 THE DOWN EASTER, &C. fec. 91 
 
 if he had been under water half an hour; while the 
 down-easter stood leaning over the table with his knife 
 and fork in the air, and his eyes rivetted on the hacked 
 and hewed-skeleton, as it tumbled from the midship 
 man's lap into the settee, and from the settee into the 
 middle of the floor there to be kicked about until 
 dinner was over." 
 
 Hulloo there ! bear a hand, will ye ? what's the 
 matter now ? Devil to pay and no pitch hot ! There 
 ye go agin ! sloppin' the grease all over the table 
 cloth ! What's that to you, I should like to know ? 
 Should ye ? Yes I should. You be damned ! I say 
 youngster, can you tell the difference between the 
 the capital fish, hey? the hypotheneuse of a right 
 angle-triangle with the stops off, and the distance be 
 tween a mouthful o' cabbage if you please between 
 time and space ? helping the other who had inter 
 rupted him, to full half a cabbage. 
 
 No, sir ! but I can tell you sir raising his voice by 
 degrees, and waxing warmer and warmer as he pro- 
 ceeded> till he was actually inarticulate with rage 
 while the other kept on eating you're a boo oooo 
 Thank ye sir, said the other, interrupting him with 
 a good natured laugh that's what I call a smasher ! 
 
 I say, you mister ! thank ye for a leetle more o' 
 your'e sarse ! The man stared, and then began to pour 
 out some pudding-sauce upon the offered plate 
 
 Dod butter it all ! I did'nt see what you was a doin' 
 of. That aint the kind o' sarse I wanted, puddin'- 
 gravy to corn-fish ! pulling away his plate and leaving 
 the sauce to run all oVer the table-cloth I wanted 
 cabbage or potaters, or most any sort o' garden sarse 
 there, there ! most any one '11 do for me aint 
 over an' above particlar.
 
 93 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 A short pause followed a breathing spell and the 
 clamor died away, voice by voice, like the prattle of 
 girls at a crowded party, where all talk together and 
 all are silent together ; and then, after a minute or two, 
 recommenced again louder than before you'd have 
 thought the vessel afire, by the shouting and scream 
 ing. 
 
 Bread up there ! This way nigger ! Goode-goree- 
 midee never heerd nodin' like 'm ! yelled the nigger, 
 in reply. Hourraw there, hourraw ! I say steward- 
 steward ! this way, my good fellow ; can't you give 
 us a mouthful ? Stewart, I say Hell and damna 
 tion ! must I bawl my heart out before I can make you 
 hear ? Ay, ay sir ! comin' directly sir. Stewart, I 
 say ! Sir to you. 
 
 Here boy, here, cried another somebody, in a voice 
 like one suffocating with heat and thirst take my 
 plate get me a clean glass and a bottle ofAy, ay, 
 sir ! porter ; an' some fruit pie is that dried peach 
 or cramberry (cram-berry! whispered Gage) and 
 
 a small piece of fresh butter, and a stop, stop ! 
 
 aint half done yet; where the devil are ye goin' 
 
 to ? Stop ! I say But the servant was already out 
 
 of hearing. 
 
 Josh ! I say Josh slobber-cakes all gone? Jawsh ! 
 I say ! hand us over the big speakin' trumpet, hollar 
 fire, and set the big bell a-goin' ! theres a good feller ; 
 nobody '11 hear it! 
 
 Fire and fury ! squeaked another ' still small voice' 
 never seed sech a boat since I breathed the breath o' 
 life driv me fust one side an'' then 'tother, ever since 
 I cum aboard, an' never get me nothin' to eat arter 
 all. One day in the courts of the lord is better
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 93 
 
 than a thousand, so I'v hearn our preacher say, an' 
 
 that's my notion of a steam-boat. Hush your jaw 
 
 there ! 
 
 Dont you say that agin ! 
 
 Shet your clam ! like that better? hold your 
 yop! 
 
 Tell you what, my frind : you'll run agin the eend 
 o' my arm if you dont look well ahead through you, 
 like shell-beans, if you get me ryled in airnest ! 
 
 A feller might starve here an' nobody know nothin' 
 about it. Nigger I say ! nigger Stewart nigger ! 
 
 Why don't ye strangle that child ? Ma ! ma ! 
 
 where's ma ? I want ma ! if you dont, I will, by 
 
 the Lord Harry ! git out ye little tom-cat ! give him 
 a two-and-forty pounder tn play with No ma go 
 away ! waugh ! Chuck him into the boiler ! Wau 
 au augh ! 1 want ma ! 
 
 Here a very pompous gentleman, who had not 
 opened his mouth before, reached over toward a short 
 citizen, whom I had been observing, and who was 
 just in the middle of a large plate of beef, reeking 
 with delicious blood, gravy and yellow-mustard, over 
 which you could see his huge bald-pate vibrating this 
 way and that with the regularity of a pendulum as he 
 cut and swallowed and sopped, and sopped and swal 
 lowed and cut, puffing and blowing at intervals of a 
 minute or more, and never lifting his eyes from the 
 plate reached over, as I said before, and begged him, 
 with a sober countenance and a dignified motion of 
 the extended arm, speaking very slowly, and loud 
 enough to call the attention of the whole company 
 toward him to put his fork into a potato. 
 
 The other did so took the offered fork, and thrust
 
 94 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 it into a potato, without looking up and left it 
 there. 
 
 The pompous gentleman stared and then with 
 another and a lower bow and a compassionate smile 
 for the by-standers, he told the other he'd be obliged 
 to him for his fork. 
 
 Whereupon the other bowed in reply, and pulled 
 out the fork, without looking up, and reached it across 
 the table to him with' such a literal innocent air, that 
 the midshipman who was just pouring down a tumbler 
 of porter, burst forth into a roar of ungovernable 
 laughter, scattering the foam over all his neighbours, 
 and showering his white kerseymeres with a new 
 color, as he held the empty bottle in the air with one 
 hand ; and the empty tumbler in the other. The 
 laugh was so hearty so unexpected and so out 
 rageous, that all within reach of the echo were 
 obliged to laugh with him, before he had finished 
 save and except the pompous gentleman himself who 
 sat swelling and heaving with rage, till he grew almost 
 black in the face ; and the gourmand, who was too 
 much occupied for a laugh looking up only once 
 during the whole uproar, and then with such' a stare 
 of unsuspecting good-nature, as to set us all a-going 
 again, louder than ever. And now, reader, imagine 
 yourself surrounded for half an hour by outcries like 
 these already mentioned, intermixed with the follow 
 ing, of which 1 took a mem-erandam the first oppor 
 tunity after I left the dinner-table. 
 
 Stewart I say ! Ay, ay, sir. Stewart ! Stewart ! 
 Here I am sir lowering his voice, I aint deef, sir. 
 Who said you was ? take my plate an' be hanged to 
 ye ; an' ax that lady there, with my compliments to
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 95 
 
 her, if she'll take a glass o' porter ! What'll you 
 
 have now sir, said another blackey, in passing our part 
 of the table. 
 
 Now sir ! why zounds an' death, you lump of tarred 
 rattlin with a figger-head to match ; I havent had 
 no thin' at all yit your very good health marm ! 
 beg your pardon sir (the speaker had just blown the 
 froth from his porter into the ruffled-bosom of his 
 next neighbor) I was lookin' at the lady sir. 
 
 Hourra there, hourra ! green peas '11 be all gone if 
 
 you don't mind your eyes, cuffee. Thank ye for a 
 
 few more o' them air green peas dont feel very well 
 somehow never able to eat nothin' hearty when I'm 
 at sea ! 
 
 By jingo, growled a double bass in reply guess he 
 never was at sea then ; eat nothin' but green .peas 
 since he sot down hourraw for you, cuffee ! 
 
 Sir, said a well-dressed, well-bred looking man 
 with a short neck, a tight stiff cravat, a florid face, 
 drab gaiters, and hair powder that flew about the 
 table strangely enough, as he wiped his mouth on the 
 table-cloth, or helped himself, as he did frequently 
 from the open snuff-box at his elbow, with decided 
 emphasis a a sir, I never could exactly under 
 stand filling his mouth with water and squirting it 
 through his teeth into what he called a finger-glass, 
 to the astonishment and disgust of the low-bred 
 natives about him a-a not exactly why the color 
 ed Americans are called cuffees. 
 
 Gerard Middleton started and sat eying the stran 
 gera portentous flash going over his high pale 
 forehead a swarthy glow leaving it instantly paler 
 than before ; and but for Gage, who interfered with
 
 96 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 a remark that caused every body to turn that way, I 
 believe in my heart we should have had an immediate 
 interchange of cards. A stranger, I presume ? said 
 Gage, with a most deferential bow ; to which the other 
 returned a very encouraging smile, and a bow re 
 markable for its dignity and impressiveness. Gage 
 continued The people of this country sir, as you 
 have undoubtedly observed, are of two colors, black 
 and white. 
 
 Black or white, I presume sir with a still more 
 encouraging bow. 
 
 As yoy please, my dear sir one should be careful 
 in the use of copulatives in such cases black or white 
 siror glancing at Middleton or half-and-half some 
 times at the south, where they are called milk-and- 
 molasses. 
 
 Middleton's eyes flashed fire ; but the imperturba 
 ble Gage continued 
 
 The whites in America, are the cuffers, and the 
 blacks are the cuffees. 
 
 Middleton smiled faintly and was turning away, 
 when the stranger whipped out a memorandum-book 
 and began writing in it with unspeakable earnestness. 
 The smile became a laugh, and he stopped and took 
 the hand of Gage with an expression that I never 
 shall forget while I breathe. The stranger was out 
 on furlough perhaps from Sheffield or Birmingham, or 
 peradventure from the Scetch navy, on a holiday 
 voyage of discovery. A book which has appeared 
 since, would appear to be a-a but no matter for 
 that. 
 
 I had now leisure to attend to the doings of the 
 company in another quarter. For my own part, I
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 97 
 
 could eat nothing there was no time to eat-no 
 elbow-room no space for swallowing ; it was about 
 as much as one's life were worth to try where I sat, 
 wedged in for two thirds of my length between the 
 two indefatigable down-easters ; so that if any one 
 of the whole three moved or wriggled, the other two 
 were certain to drop their food from their lifted- 
 knives, or to slop their tumblers over, on the way to 
 their mouths. 
 
 Here you nigger ! this way fetch me another glass 
 o' that air coslin' stuff, you know what (with a wink 
 and a laugh) I say Bob ! hourrah there ! will ye 
 
 take a pull with me, if ye dare? Will I ? try me. 
 
 Well then you-go-to-hell ! as the Frenchman said, 
 ha, ha, haw ! Same to you Swipes ! You're from 
 
 Rhode-Island, hey? An' you're from Delaware 
 
 hey ? Not as you knows on! Have a gardeen 
 
 'pynted for you as soon as I git ashore. Would ye 
 though I 
 
 Having now made sure of a plate of soup, not so 
 much to eat, as to play with, I renewed my conversa 
 tion with my right-hand neighbor, and asked him how 
 he came to suppose me an old-countryman, as he 
 called me. Why, said he, us ra-al ginooines always 
 begin what we have to say with a wal or a why and 
 then in the first place fustly, fact is, jest arter you 
 come aboard eat away man ! eat away ! if you know 
 when you are well off, any body might know you're 
 not o' these parts 
 
 I have divided that pie twice already, said a man 
 opposite, to another who wanted a share. 
 
 So you have with yourself both times ; said the 
 other ; you remind me of the boy who complained of
 
 98 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 his bed-fellow for taking half the bed and why not? 
 said his mother ? he's entitled to half, aint he ? yes 
 mother, said the boy but how should you like to 
 have him take out all the soft for his half? he will 
 have his half right out o' the middle ! and I have to 
 sleep both sides of him 
 
 Ah ! and what did his mother say? asked the literal 
 creature above mentioned, who had just finished his 
 share of the ox. 
 
 Not of-Hhese parts ! how so ? said I, resuming the 
 subject with my down-easter's friend. 
 
 Eatin' brawth fust! when there's duck an' green 
 peas at three dollars a peck right under your nose- 
 might lays in most enough to pay your passage. I 
 say mister halves there ! halves, I say ! 
 
 The man he called to, was dividing another large 
 pie fore and aft with a single sweep of his cleaver. 
 
 Flimsiest cloth ever I did see wonder what he 
 gin for this lifting up a corner of the table-cloth 
 with one hand, and looking through it up the com 
 panion-way, while he fed himself diligently with the 
 Other ; wonder how much that stood him in guess if 
 I had him at 'Derry, he'd find it come a good deal 
 cheaper put it to him leetlc more'n half price for 
 cash, or approved endorsed notes. 
 
 Here, you nigger ! gimmee you yit ! mamma ! 
 mamma ! screamed a child from the far cabin. To 
 which the mother screamed in reply Hold yer yop, 
 George Federick Smith, if I have to come to you 
 
 I'll boo-hoo-hoo-hoo ! ^vill yer ! Hush there, 
 
 Matildy Charlotty Smith ! I'll take an' whip ye both 
 if ye dont shet up I will so ! Why dont you carry 
 the poor little dears about in your arms Dinah ? and
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 99 
 
 the female voice went off by another passage to the 
 deck. 
 
 Pose you tink poor ole dinah nebber had notin* 
 else ado, an' tote you all about a ship, hey, said the 
 girl, as soon as the mother was out of hearing up 
 stars an' down? Pa, pa! ma, ma ! I want my pa! I 
 want my ma ! boo-hoo ! boo-hoo ! boo-hoo ! Hush 
 you noise, ye liddle debbil you ! 
 
 When I was a little boy, my mother told me, 
 If I did'nt lie still, she'd come an' hold me, 
 
 Whistled the midshipman between his shut teeth. 
 What's that door shot for oh, I see innocent Abi 
 gail ! fastened her chamber-door with a boiled car 
 rot . 
 
 Heered that story another way, said his com 
 panion she tied herself up with her garters, and left 
 a knife in the winder. 
 
 I say Sambo take and care that away ; care it up 
 on deck and empt it overboard, abaft the main-chaina, 
 dye hear? to the wind'ard o' that are weather-gage 
 ye see there, pointing to the Yankee's nose. Whew 
 ew ew ! d d etarnal hot here, hey? Hot as blue 
 blazes my buttons are droppin' off by spoon-fulls. 
 That's your conceit another conspyracy I swan! 
 two o' the stubbedest fellers ever I did see, and 
 always at it ! 
 
 More green peas ! more green peas ! Halloo, mis 
 ter ! what are ye at now ? Beg your pardon sir. 
 Blast an' set fire to your nonsense, you've stuck that 
 are fork into me half way up to the handle ! Hope 
 not sir ; very sorry sir thank ye for another spoonful 
 or two o' them air green peas. Consarn it all neigh 
 bor* if I think them are green peas '11 continner long
 
 100 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &,C. 
 
 at this rate better have a dip now (in a whisper to 
 me.) No I thank ye Had'nt ye better ? All gone 
 sir, all gone ! cried the waiter. All gone ! heaven 
 and earth ! ye dont say so ! all gone ? why how ye 
 talk ! Have'nt had a single mouthful yit ! cried two 
 or three voices on the right and left of me, in accents 
 of dismay. 
 
 Jess so ! cried another -jess so ! And never shall 
 I forget the sound to my dying day; you'd have 
 thought his wife had fallen over-board or his pocket- 
 book. 
 
 Cap'n Thrip, cap'n Thrip J cried a little gentleman 
 what lithped, coming forward and speaking as it were 
 with a mouthful of cotton-wool it aint potheble ! 
 Gentlemen ! gentlemen ! cried Nicodemus Trip from 
 the further part of the table the ladies, the ladies ! 
 gentlemen, the ladies ! 
 
 The ladies had long been trying to escape from the 
 back-seats each waiting for all the others to begin 
 the move ; and now their husband's, lover's and 
 father's beginning to perceive a certain paleness over 
 spread the faces of some who had been very cheerful 
 on deck, started up and made way for them to escape 
 as well as they could. All were imprisoned, not a 
 few sea-sick, and others far too sleepy or too lazy to 
 move, while the boat went pitching and rolling with 
 prodigious swiftness, andjhe trampling on deck was 
 absolutely deafening. For my own part, as I could 
 neither escape, unless I crawled over the table or 
 under it, nor get a nap where I was, I determined to 
 seethe dinner through and make the most of it. N. 
 B. I am keeping my promise now. 
 
 Cap'n Thrip, I say ! Wai sir ? Be you deef? No
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C 101 
 
 ir, I believe not, what'll you please to have? Why 
 that are plaguy boy o' yourn hath 'ad my plate thith 
 half hour an' more too, an' I aint gt a mouthful yit; 
 Jess so ! added the down-easter, We are all a sufferin' 
 here in jess exactly the same way. 
 
 Very sorry, gentlemen, very sorry indeed what 
 can I help you to, this way T Thum duck an' green 
 peath, if you pleath. 
 
 Lord help the man ! whispered Gage, as the other 
 continued in a broken-hearted whisper, thatth my 
 only chanth here, I thee plainly ! Why stranger ! 
 they've all ben gone this half hour, said the Ken- 
 tuckian bones an' all ; Avast there ! ben bin 
 bean I wonder which is accordin' to Gunter ? de 
 manded a weather beaten sea-captain, who was pass 
 ing at the moment. None o' your the speaker 
 happened to lift his eye before he finished ; where 
 upon he made a full stop and let the sea-captain off 
 end then followed by a different passage-way, adding 
 I don't believe that are chap '11 ever set the north- 
 river afire ! 
 
 Nor I but I should'nt wonder if he was to try* 
 added the swapper on my left. And then turning to 
 me did'nt you never hear tell Mr. Potti Pottipher ; 
 speaking to me with his mouth full, his plate full, both 
 hands full, and a heap of odds and ends piled up along 
 side of his plate, consisting of apples, and cheese, 
 eake, pie, two or three kinds of tart, which he had 
 tasted and rejected I thought, for he made a wry-face 
 over each as he laid it aside. But when every thing 
 else had been disposed of, he began to nibble at these 
 fragments, which disappeared one after another, to 
 my infinite amazement, before he took down his 
 12
 
 102 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 elbows, upon which he was leaning in profound 
 thought his head resting by the ears upon his clench 
 ed hands, till he had gobbled up (or down ?) every frag 
 ment, crumb and chip of the whole ; and then he lifted 
 his head and looked about him so innocently ! as if he 
 could have done as much by half a peck more, without 
 knowing it. Judge of my surprise therefore, when I 
 heard him say, in a low querulous tone, just before he 
 left the table, that had been sick ever since last fall ; 
 never was very rugged, an' about this time every 
 year, always felt wuss than ever by a darned sight 
 rather pokerish too when he was on the water no 
 kind o' sprawl. It aint often I eat any thing, said he ; 
 an' when I do eat, I dont eat much but the leetle I 
 do eat, dooze me good somehow ! 
 
 I say ! didn't you never hear tell continued he, 
 with his two eyes starting out of his head, an<r every 
 button of his coat upon the full stretch here you 
 nigger ! I'll have my brawth now Bad 'nuff to be 
 poor nigger massa, widout hab his shin kick, said the 
 boy, and I thought so too. Come, come, beauty ! 
 lets have the brawth. 
 
 What ! criedGage after eating fish, meat, and peas; 
 pudding, fruit, roast-beef and pie to say nothing of 
 chickens, ducks and the five baskets you left you're 
 not going to begin again with soup ! 
 
 Free country neighbor feller may eat brawth I 
 hope, whenever he likes, if- he is able to pay for it 
 or (winking at his confederate) or able to make 
 another pay for it, an' don't eat more 'n his 'lowance; 
 an' more'n all that, a feller can eat brawth when he 
 can't eat nothin' else to speak of. 
 
 Indeed ! To be sure ! brawth '11 go where hearty
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 103 
 
 vittels wunt, I ruther guess. Nothin' better'n brawth 
 to fill up the chinks with ; and what's more yit, I'm 
 
 of opinion that a dinner's a dinner no matter 
 
 who pays for't. Now mister, you don't have to pay 
 no more for me, than that are little cock-sparrer's 
 dad there dooze for him ; an' he aint eat more'n half 
 a dozen pinches o' dough since he com aboard which 
 if you aint observed him yourself, you may ask the 
 cap'n I say tho' mister I want you should give 
 me that air letter o' recommend to Feledelphy, 
 afore we split as I think its like as not I may go 
 that way, some time or other ; cost you nothin' but 
 the paper and that I'm willin' to pay for. And 
 then turning to the other, he added was them your 
 weddin' spurs 't I see, when your chist gut jounced 
 open frind ? 
 
 Wai ! I swan if I dont think you're the very feller 
 't had a box made for his wife 't opened like an eight- 
 day clock-case, the very mornin' arter he was tied 
 up an' allaws cared the key with him. 
 
 How ye talk ! right away from down-east aint ye, 
 where a cow an' a caff an' a calico gown is a gals 
 portion. 
 
 An' you're from the place ant ye ? where a potater- 
 patch, with cracks int so wide, that the grass-hoppers 
 are picked up at the bottom by handfuls all their 
 necks broke trying to jump over is a portion for the 
 oldest son? And then turning to me, he said, his father 
 was once riding by one of the great farms he referred 
 to, when observing the wretchedness of the land, he 
 said the fellow that owns this must be plaguy poor. 
 Not so poor as you think for! answered a voice from 
 the blackberry-bushes for I dont own but a third on't
 
 104 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &,C. 
 
 my father gin away one third to git a man take 
 tother. 
 
 Tumble sight o' rain lately when'd you come 
 down ? 
 
 Dreadful sight o' weather lately when'd you come 
 up ? 
 
 You aint acquainted with a man by the name of 
 
 Turney-General ! said the other interrupting him 
 with a loud laugh or the chief-justice o' the soo- 
 preme Judicial court hey? 
 
 I say frind turning to me with perfect self- 
 possession I'm some tired o' that fellers gab ; wish 
 he'd make himself skerce all jaw like a sheeps 
 head only ben tryin' out the stuff, an' you see all its 
 good for : and now, if you say so, I'll tell you how I 
 found you out. 
 
 Found me out sir ! 
 
 Found ye out I'll tell ye slick as awhistle ! fetch 
 ing me a slap on the thigh ; dont be fractious. No 
 fault o' your'n people has to be born putty much 
 where other folks say, barrin' accidents ; dare say 
 theres some honest folks enough to be heard of that 
 side o' the water cant be helped now make the 
 best on't : bear, it like a man Mr. Potipher git naite- 
 ralized right away, and let 'em lump it if they dont 
 like it, an' squirm their hides off; that's none o' your 
 look out is it 1 All fair when you're made a 
 natyve. 
 
 Or a representatyve, and sent to the legisslatoore,. 
 added Gage. 
 
 Jess so ! 
 
 But sir, said I mr a a what may I call your 
 name?
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &.C. 105 
 
 Fairfield sir. Obadiah G. Fairfield, seventh son of 
 Bigah S. T. Fairfield an' Marcey his wife, both o' 
 Groton, old Massatusetts can you spell Massa- 
 tusetts ? 
 
 No but please to tell me how you found me out, 
 as you term it? 
 
 Aint tired any, air ye? Maybe you'd better lay 
 down, had'nt ye. No I thank ye. Had'nt ye better ? 
 Not berths enough I'm afeard, whispered somebody 
 else. That may depend upon the length of the 
 passage added another, very innocently, glancing at 
 the ladies cabin, where a tremendous pow wow had 
 just broken out, Such a screaming of mothers ! and 
 such a squalling of babies the dear creatures you 
 never heard ashore in all your life, no matter what your 
 profession may be, nor what your experience. No 
 two of the whole were quiet for five minutes together, 
 till the end of the passage. 
 
 Why, continued the swapper, in reply to my ques 
 tion : Before we'd ben together long, you says, says 
 you, to that air tother chap there a friend o' you'rn 
 I spose aint he ? but you dont care much about 
 knowin', arter all, I see. 
 
 You are mistakin I should like to know. 
 
 Should ye ! would'nt give a trifle to know, would 
 
 ye 
 
 A trifle yes : not much though- 
 
 O ye would, would ye ? dont know what you'd 
 consider a trifle would'nt mind a drop o' somethin 
 to set fire to the cobwebs, would ye ? Aint very 
 stingey, air ye ? 
 
 Not very. 
 
 Thought so ! look to me a right down ginerous
 
 106 THE DOWN EASTER8, &C. &C. 
 
 feller ; but some folks when they're travellin' for 
 pleasure ; plaguy close-fisted. 
 
 Indeed. 
 
 Oh yes that they air closer 'an button-wood- 
 bark ; aa' whatever you git out o' them, you git by 
 the skin o' their teeth. Would'nt mind tellin' you 
 the whool honor bright now right off the reel, as 
 quick's a flash, if you'd do the thing that's hansum. 
 
 And what do you call the thing that's hansum ? 
 
 Why, shell out for three two besides yourself 
 I allays bate for three, so that I may take in a friend, 
 now and then 
 
 You never lose a chance to take in a friend, I dare 
 say? 
 
 Not I ! love to be neighborly do as you are done 
 by that's my way ; an' a drop or two o' real 
 
 ginoyne what say ye to whiskey for three ? with 
 
 a slap on my shoulder that I can feel to this day, 
 whenever I think of my unpreparedness and of the 
 echo that followed the blow. What say ye to whis 
 key for three ! 
 
 I assented, and my man was just going to clench 
 the bargain with a shake of the hand, when hearing 
 a slight rustle and turning my head quickly, I caught 
 a glimpse of a little scrap of paper passing under a 
 plate towards the fellow I was chaffering with, who, 
 as he pretended to look another way, though I con 
 tinued to watch him all tEe time, read it instantly, 
 with a glance at the decanter of whiskey then actually 
 on the table and furnished gratis to the company. 
 And then he blushed upon my soul he did ! blushed 
 to the very heart I dare say adding in a different 
 voice, would'nt say wine for three, would ye I
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &,C. &C. 107 
 
 Yes but I would though to the emount of a bottle 
 or two. 
 
 Wai then ! fact is frind Potipher stopping to draw 
 a long breath if we should happen to be snapped up, 
 that was the very word snapped-up or fired into 
 by one o' the innimy, twould be no more 'n what we 
 
 all desarve might a gone by the stage jess so ! 
 
 And with that says I but have yer made up your 
 mind, hey ? 
 
 My mind for what pray 
 
 Never to part with her. 
 
 I stared. 
 
 There now ! that's right down ugly o' you : know 
 what I mean as well as any body. 
 
 Upon my word I do not though ; I have no idea of 
 what you mean. 
 
 "Why Lord you ! (squeaking) I mean that everlastin' 
 time-piece o' yourn, that you concait is goold now 
 have you made up your mind never to part with her 
 yes or no ? 
 
 No. 
 
 Uglier an' uglier, by Moses ! I dont often swear, 
 an' when I do, I dont swear much, but the little I do 
 swear dooze me good ! (with a still higher and sharper 
 squeak). But when a feller's in airnest, why the 
 
 dickens ! cant you tell us, hey t 
 
 Hav'nt made up yer mind though, have ye ? 
 
 No. But answer my question and we'll talk about 
 the watch afterwards. 
 
 Will yer tho' ! thats a good feller ! Fact is then, 
 talking about the British, ye said says you, they aint 
 any more to blame for havin' a king than we air for 
 bavin' a president jess so ! jess as people's brought
 
 108 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 up, says you ; some folks likes a king, an' some 
 doozent poor critters ! And then ye koted some 
 varses, pair o' varses we call 'em about fools ai ad- 
 minstations, so't I could see plain enough which side 
 you was on, without goin skonickin' round arter you 
 much further. 
 I remember it 
 
 Tor forms of government, let fools contest, 
 That which is best administered, is best hey? 
 
 Jess so ! an' then arter that, ye kind o' made 
 believe 't you'd never hearn tell how nigh we come 
 to takin' the biggest half o' the old country in one 
 scrape two more privateers an' we might 'a took 
 tother half, as Paul Jones an' commodore Tucker told 
 the king to his teeth. 
 
 Nor did I ever hear of the circumstance before. 
 How did it happen where when ? 
 
 There now ! thats jess the way with all. To look 
 at ye, a body would think you'd never hearn tell o* 
 the revolutioniary war nor general Gage nor old 
 
 Put likely story for a man o' your years. Ah, is 
 
 that you, master Puriniton ? haint seed you afore 
 where ye from? how long ben aboard? where ye 
 gwyin' to ? what are ye doin' of South ? how'd ye 
 leave the family hope the whole on 'em's well, 
 hey? &c. &c. 
 
 Cleverly I thank ye ! And with this one reply to 
 the others five-and-forty question, he moved on. 
 
 Jess the way with ye all, continued Fairfield aint 
 a copper to choose ; never see an ole countryman yit 
 twould'nt face a feller down about that are story 
 where Gineral Washinton (which he was only a 
 youngster at the time) went ashore with Paul Jone*
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 109 
 
 an' come pretty plaguy near carin' off th& whole 
 royal family, crown, jewels, prince o' Wales an' all 
 proper sight on 'em there was too, by all accounts 
 and tippin' the ole tower into the sea. Chock full o' 
 prejudyce yit ; any body can see that. 
 
 Prejudice! how so in what way ? 
 
 Haint forgot the- ole war. May be you've never 
 hearn tell o' that nyther hey ? 
 
 Yes but I have though. 
 
 O, ye have, have ye? Wai thats somethin' for you 
 to give up any how. 
 
 For me to give up. Why what the devil do you 
 take me for ? ' 
 . Take ye for ! Why for one o' the innimy. 
 
 One of the enemy ! 
 
 To be sure ! an Englishman. 
 
 But I am not an Englishman. 
 
 What not Irish I hope ? moving off with 
 
 visible trepidation. 
 
 No. 
 
 Nor Scotch ? 
 
 No! 
 
 Why what on the face o' the universal airth, air ye 
 then ? 
 
 An American sir a native American. 
 
 You ! moving still further off, and hastily 
 
 gathering up his duds from the bench you a natyve 
 American ! 
 
 Yes ! a native New-Englander a through-bred 
 Yankee. 
 
 This was altogether too much for my conspirators. 
 Amos ! cried one, with a look of dismay. Obadi 
 ah ! groaned the other ; and then they interchanged a 
 
 K
 
 110 THE J>OWN EASTERS, <fcc. &C, 
 
 look of such piteable amazement and perplexity, that 
 I eould'nt help thinking they were more than half 
 sorry for having preyed upon their own kith and kin 
 for the Yankees of old the Hebrew Yankees were 
 forbidden to do this ; while they were encouraged to 
 profit by the stranger. It may be however that they 
 had only some secret misgivings, that they were afraid 
 of being outwitted after all, when they discovered the 
 truth. At this moment there was a faint cry on deck, 
 followed instantly instantly by another in a diffe 
 rent voice, louder and nearer and uttered with a 
 most apalling intonation. "What my own thoughts 
 were I do not know ; but this I do know, that all the 
 faces about me grew suddenly and frightfully pale, as 
 if death-struck, and that we all started up and stood 
 holding our breath and looking at one another as if 
 Gracious God ! I never shall forget the unspeakable 
 horror of that one moment never never though I 
 should live a thousand years ! 

 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 A moment of death-like stillness followed, and then 
 there was another faint sobbing cry afar off, a shriek 
 at my very elbow that thrilled through and through 
 me a great rush overhead a loud trampling on 
 deck two or three heavy rolls, and a lurch, accom 
 panied by a trembling of the timbers that frightened 
 me half out of my senses, and a screaming from 
 every part of the ship, growing louder and louder at 
 every roll. In the belief that we were going down, 
 and that I had not a moment to lose, I sprang for the 
 companion-way, overturning every body in the pas 
 sage, and arrived on deck just in time to see a large 
 powerful man go headfirst over the side of the vessel, 
 as she recovered from the last roll and swung round 
 with a heavy lurch to the leward, jarring and shiver 
 ing through all her timbers at every dip of the 
 wheels the women clinging to whatever they hap 
 pened to be near, their white veils and dishevelled 
 hair streaming away from their grasp, and their clothes 
 rattling fiercely in the wind the frighted passengers 
 trying to assist the crew, and running about hither and 
 thilher at every cry of the captain Gage struggling 
 with somebody whom I afterwards found to be Gerard 
 Middleton, the handsome young Southerner, and call 
 ing for assistance, within a few feet of the opening 
 gangway the sea roaring and flashing directly under 
 their feet, with the swift brightness of a torrent a 
 portion of the lee-bulwarks carried away and the
 
 112 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 heavy gate hanging by the top hinge, and swinging to 
 and fro with a violence that nothing could resist. 
 
 Save her ! save her ! screamed another and another 
 female voice. Heavenly Father ! save her ! shouted 
 Middleton, disengaging his right-arm and grasping 
 the shattered bulwark, against which his powerful 
 adversary had planted his foot, and was bearing with 
 all the strength of his body the huge gate shrieking 
 and clapping at brief intervals, with a noise that over 
 powered every thing else the deck slippery with 
 spoon-drift and the sea roaring for its prey. 
 
 Stop the engine ! cried Gage, with a voice like a 
 trumpet. Heave her about captain Trip, and I will 
 answer for her safety Gerard Middleton ! 
 
 They were now within a few inches of the very 
 brink the sea almost on a level with their feet 
 wrestling together as with all their strength 
 
 Gerard Middleton ! I swear to you by the Ever 
 lasting God that if you go we go together ! 
 
 Be it so ! cried Middleton stooping for a last effort 
 as he spoke and the next moment he was pitched 
 head-long into the midst of a coil of rigging that lay 
 aft. Courage! courage! cried his antagonist, follow 
 ing him and standing over him, ready to renew the 
 attack if he stirred with an evil purpose. Courage ! 
 down with your boat my boys ! over with all 
 your split-wood. Ay, ay, shouted the captain, se 
 curing the heavy gate as he spoke, and lashing it 
 home with the strength of a giant away with ye, 
 my lads ! 
 
 And away with the women too ! cried Gage they 
 have no business here away with you to the cabiu 
 ladies ! we'll answer for your safety, if you'll betake
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 113 
 
 yourselves to prayer in a quiet way and leave off 
 screaming 
 
 Cant hear yourself speak now, cried a sailor and 
 away flew the split wood from both sides of the deck, 
 and away scampered the wompn. 
 
 Over with it my lads ! over with it ! chairs, tables 
 and all ! continued captain Trip and instantly the 
 waters on both sides of our path were covered with 
 every thing buoyant that lay within reach you'd 
 have thought our deck had been swept by a West 
 India hurricane and as I ran aft, where Middleton 
 was lying apparently insensible, with Gage standing 
 over him like a roused lion over a refractory cub, I 
 saw a man pull down a large box from a pile of lug 
 gage empty it on deck with one blow of his foot 
 secure the lid stop the key-hole with a wad of 
 oakum run as far aft as he could go and wait there 
 till another who had just kicked off his boots laid 
 aside his coat and hat as deliberately as if he were 
 going to an afternoon's nap and who, calling upon 
 captain Trip to take notice, that they were left in his 
 charge, and that he must be answerable for .them if any 
 thing happened, got ready for a plunge. It was all 
 the work of a minute or two hardly more and it 
 was only after the struggle was over and the terror 
 no more, that I had time to arrange the circumstances 
 in my memory as they occurred. The two then 
 heaved the box overboard the brave boat wore 
 round at the same instant and over went the last- 
 mentioned man, just as I staggered to Jhe lee-railing, 
 and caught a glimpse of a strong swimmer afar off, 
 and right in our wake, where our pathway was all 
 
 white and luminous with the irrisistable thundering of 
 K2
 
 114 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 our wheels in their backward revolution. As I look 
 ed, I saw something more yet further off and in a 
 different direction a mass of white drapery buoyed 
 tip and whirling and eddying with the suift waters. 
 I stretched out my arms involuntarily and might have 
 gone overboard too, but for Gage for my heart died 
 within me and I felt sure ay, strange as it may 
 seem perfectly sure that she, in whom I had felt so 
 much interest, she and no other, was now beyond the 
 reach of him and of help. I could even persuade 
 myself, as I stood clinging to the rails, and gasping 
 for breath, and watching what I saw in the distance, 
 that I could see her arms uplifted in her agony, and 
 her dark lustrous hair washing over her beautiful 
 face 
 
 And there we stood, I know not how long, they 
 and I to the number of twenty or thirty altogether, 
 helpless and speechless, gazing as if fascinated with 
 terror upon the white halo, as it appeared to be slowly 
 and gradually sinking into the depth of waters. And 
 yet there was hope .-;ome hope for every blow of 
 the engine, every revolution of the wheel brought us 
 nearer, and the boats were already cast off, and the 
 oars were bending to the resolute fellows that manned 
 them ; while the roar of the sea and the noise of the 
 wheels aboard were not enough to overpower the 
 encouraging cries of pull away ! pull away ! thats 
 your sort my lads pull avsay ! 
 
 One of the two persons who had jumped over 
 board was now found to be on the wrong side of our 
 path, while the other had entirely disappeared, and 
 we were looking about and enquiring with our eyes, 
 for most of us were afraid or unable to speak, who
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 115 
 
 he was and where he was, with a feeling of the 
 deepest anxiety. A breathless silence had succeeded 
 to the overwhelming uproar. Captain Trip, Avho was 
 below when the accident happened, had now got com 
 mand of his vessel, and you might have heard a pin 
 drop fore and aft her whole length, but for the noise 
 of the machinery and the ringing of the loud waters 
 when struck by the paddles, or thundering across our 
 pathway. 
 
 One circumstance I never shall forget here stood 
 the old man the aged grandfather I could have 
 sworn to the relationship at a glance unutterable 
 terror and hope and faith, and more than a grand 
 father's love, all struggling together for mastery in 
 his agitated countenance and each prevailing by 
 turns. As he stood holding on by the rail, with his 
 hat off, his hair blowing about his venerable face, and 
 his dim eyes fixed upon the disappearing brightness 
 the white robe of his dear child fast vanishing, for 
 ever and ever into the depths of the terrible sea 
 forever and ever ! I saw him glance at poor Middle- 
 ton, who was lying on a bench near, as if utterly 
 overcome by the struggle and I thought I could 
 perceive a look of self-reproach, on the one part and 
 a look of pity on the other. 
 
 How it happened that I did nothing but stare 
 first at one object and then at another, all this time, 
 I do not know I never knew it is not my way in 
 seasons of danger I never lost my self-command 
 before ; and though but a poor swimmer and of course 
 utterly incapable of helping a fellow-creature in such 
 an extremity by jumping over-board, still I might 
 have been of some use in some other way, I think
 
 116 THE DOWK EASTERS, <fcc. &C. 
 
 now, if I had not been stupified by the suddenness 
 and singularity of the adventure ; and my heart has 
 reproached me a thousand and a thousand times since 
 for my boyish helplessness at the time babyish I 
 might say as I and some thirty more able-bodied 
 men stood there, motionless and speechless, waiting 
 the issue of life and death to one of that most beauti 
 ful of God's creatures, without one cry and I am 
 afraid without one prayer ; though, as I hope for 
 mercy hereafter, I would have risked my life any 
 where at any time for almost any body in almost 
 any other \vay ; and but for the latter part of our 
 acquaintance, might have done it for her. Let others 
 expound the riddle that have the courage I have 
 not. 
 
 Another and another faint cry reached us, and then, 
 just as the leading boat was rounding to, and one of 
 the oars was lifted as if to touch the object, the 
 drapery shivered and shook, and the boat lurched and 
 drifted away and appeared to be unmanageable. We 
 shut our eyes. And when we looked that way again, 
 we were very near, and lo ! there was nothing to be 
 seen but a large spot near the top of the water, some 
 what lighter-colored than the rest over the smooth 
 
 dark level of the sea Ah ! the shriek ! the loud 
 
 unearthly, overwhelming shriek that followed ! Every 
 heart burst forth at once on every siflr of mo above 
 and below as with a cry of-horror. We altered our 
 course and were shooting by, swifter and more swiftly 
 at every revolution of the wheels, when we heard 
 voices from the sea right under our bows ; and again 
 we were breathless and anxious, though not so much 
 la terror now, as in hope. A moment more, and
 
 THE DOWX EASTERS, <fec. &C. 117 
 
 cries of keep her away ! keep her away ! you'll run 
 us down ! back the engine ! were heard from the 
 sea and from the deck, followed by there she is ! 
 hurrah ! all safe, hurrah ! Amos '11 bring her up, as 
 sure as a die didnt I tell yer so ! fish up oysters fore 
 to day. I say you mister ! it was the yankee who 
 had thrown the chest over, speaking to somebody 
 whom I was unable to see, as he appeared to be just 
 under our bows Here, take my hat ! mind though 
 you must pay for it, case and all, if you're ever wuth 
 enough arter ye git ashore there tis ! cost four- 
 sixty-nine cash, Boston money one thirty-one allow 
 ed for the odds o' Philadelphy an' no dicker turn 
 the mouth down, and keep it under water with a good 
 grip an' hold it there stiddy, stiddy ! and you 
 might as well try to drown a bladder ; there ! you've 
 gut the knack now, and you may float this half hour ; 
 and if you git tired a few, sing out to me, and I'll 
 spell ye ! 
 
 The moment he began to speak, I ran forward, 
 and saw a large powerful man it proved to be the 
 Tennessee-youth, apparently quite exhausted, and fast 
 dropping a-stern ; yet holding on by the hat, with its 
 mouth under water and floating as if buoyed up with 
 a cork-jacket. 
 
 Thats you stranger ! never mind me ; you look out 
 for the wimmen-folks and I'll take care o' myself 
 ride-and-tie if I cant do better ; haint swum the 'Hio 
 for nothin' I warrant ye, six months upon the stretch, 
 five knot and a half agin the stream with a buffalo 
 under each arm, and a catamount on my back putty 
 severe boatin' tho' where I am. Something mere he 
 added in a cheerful voice, but we were already out 
 of reach, and the next moment, another loud, joyful
 
 118 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 and long reiterated cry announced that the object of 
 our search had re-appeared once more. I looked 
 and saw both boats, which were now a long way off, 
 pulling together toward a spot where something 
 appeared like another very small boat. While I 
 was yet looking, somebody rose up from it, and 
 plunged into the sea. A moment more, and a slight 
 glimmering broke through the water, and the blue 
 chest emerged in full sight before our path, and lay 
 rocking upon the surface. Hourray ! hourray! cried 
 a voice at my elbow, did'nt I tell ye so ! He'll have 
 her now ! if he dont, there's no sneks. When he 
 div the last time I knew what he was arter hourray ! 
 There now ! capering about the deck and rubbing his 
 hands for joy there now ! see as well under water as 
 you can see here. Brung up to divin' at Pawtucket 
 Falls ever there any on ye ? seen 'em jump off the 
 rich pole o' the Factory there, five stories high ? 
 swim like a fish feared o' nothin' dead or alive 
 dont be in sich a tarnal feeze neighbor (to the grand 
 father, whose countenance I never shall forget as he 
 stood there hardly venturing to let go his hold or to 
 look toward the sea). Bate ye what ye like ye'll see 
 her agin. There now ! see there ! did'nt I tell ye 
 so, as the old woman said, when the hog oct the 
 grinstone, hurray ! 
 
 As he spoke, a strong arm appeared pushed forth 
 from the dread level of the deep, and clutching a mass 
 of white drapery. A short brief struggle ensued 
 one end of the blue chest tilted in the air and a voice 
 came up with more than mortal energy, as out of the 
 very jaws of Death, saying Obadiah ! Obadiah ! I've 
 gut her, by jingo !
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 119 
 
 Hourray for you! you old rascal you; thats our 
 Amos ! if taint I'm a chowderhead ; jess like him 
 hourray ! 
 
 I shall not hourray ! I never hourray till I'm out of 
 the woods, answered the other. 
 
 Jess so ! cried the first, fetching the old man a slap 
 on the back, and cutting another caper with both feet 
 in the air. Ever see sich a feller ? 
 
 By this time both boats were along side of the 
 sufferer, and by the help of the blue chest and a rope 
 or two, and a spare bench, they were all safe. 
 
 Now my lads ! now pull away for that fine fellow 
 astern ! cried Gage. 
 
 Ay, ay sir ! And away they sprung. 
 
 Could'nt ye spell a feller, hey ? shouted the man 
 with the box, evidently exhausted with the fatigue of 
 supporting his burthen, which was now in full sight 
 her eyes closed, and her beautiful hair all about over 
 his broad shoulders. 
 
 Over went one of the crew and a passenger, head 
 first in reply. 
 
 And over went Gage after them, not head-first like 
 the others, but steadily and safely by a rope ; and 
 over went the youthful Georgian after him, though he 
 could'nt swim his length, and had only been prevented 
 by Gage from throwing himself overboard where 
 certain death awaited him. 
 
 Ah my brave fellow ! cried Gage to the yankee, as 
 he dropped into the water, holding only the rope with 
 one hand What ails you ? are you hurt ? 
 
 Jess you mind your own business an' take care o' 
 the gal. When she's safe, you may give me a boost 
 if you like hulloo, hey, what! there's another
 
 120 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C, 
 
 fellow over there cant swim a mouthful, you take 
 care o' him will ye ; I'm too tired for that pocky 
 tarnal tired, I ruther guess. 
 
 Gracious God Middleton is that you ! cried Gage, 
 leaving the poor girl and her exhausted preserver, to 
 take, care of themselves, and pulling after the adven 
 turous madman like a giant. 
 
 I had it now in my power to be of some use a 
 little not much ; and intending to share in the glory 
 of the achievement, I grasped at the poor girl, stoop 
 ing over the bulwarks to do so, and with the help of 
 two or three more, succeeded in lifting her, speech 
 less and to all appearance lifeless, into the arms of 
 the women who had gathered about us ; and was 
 turning away to assist the poor old grandfather, when 
 I heard the voice of the yankee below crying out 
 hang on ! hang on ! by gosh I'll treat ! "Whereupon 
 I looked over and beheld Obadiah the swapper, drag 
 ging Amos out of the great deep, literally, by the hair 
 of the head. 
 
 Mind the kew Diah ! mind the kew I tell you ; its 
 apt to stretch! there't goes ! 
 
 The words were hardly out of his mouth, when the 
 quieu parted near the middle, the upper part slipping 
 off like the skin of a squirel's tail, and letting poor 
 Amos into the sea again, over head and ears. It was 
 half a minute before he came up, and when he did, 
 the first words he spoke after getting his breath were 
 Did'nt I tell ye so ? 
 
 Did'nt I tell ye so ! retorted the other looking at 
 the end of the quieu which he held in his hand, as if 
 he himself were drowning. Who'd a thought o' 
 your wearin' a false kew ! Darn me if I dont believe
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 131 
 
 the story Eunice Blair told me about ye teeth notr 
 I 'member seein' a sojer scalped once 'twore a wig, 
 and the Indian was most frightened o' the two aint 
 ye ashamed o' yourself, our Amos?
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 BUT enough. All were rescued, all in safety, and 
 we were then at leisure to enquire into the cause of 
 the accident. It appeared that poor Elizabeth was 
 leaning against the rail of the lee-gang-way, which 
 had worked loose or been left unfastened, and that, 
 as half a score of the little romps, who had taken ad 
 vantage of a clear deck while their mamas and the 
 he-creatures were at dinner below, to have a little 
 noise, were engaged in a race, one of them ran against 
 her and she was precipitated backwards ay, back 
 wards into the foaming unfathomable deep. 
 
 All eyes were now turned upon her deliverer. The 
 poor girl once in charge of the women, he was by far 
 the most interesting personage aboard I can see him 
 this moment ! there he stands ! the great long raw- 
 boned, half-Scotch, half methodist-looking fellow, 
 with his arms dangling to his knees, the water running 
 in a puddle from the legs of his trowsers, and his coal- 
 black hair streaming over his shoulders like the mane 
 of a cart-horse. While we were standing about him, 
 the grandfather appeared on deck, and passing by all 
 the rest of us, went straightway up to him, and, withr 
 out paying any attention whatever to our numberless 
 enquiries, took him by both hands then stopped be 
 fore him, and struggled with himself for half a minute 
 or more, trying to speak and then turning away, be 
 gan to sob like a child. I do not know that I was 
 ever so much affected in my life. Again he made the
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 123 
 
 attempt, and again he was obliged to turn away, with 
 his heart too full for speech, faltering out a word or 
 two about the Preserver of Men. 
 
 Jess so ! cried Obadiah G. Fairfield, rubbing his 
 forepaws together, capering about the deck, and 
 hourrawing at intervals. Beats all nater ! Allys the 
 way with our Amos and^testifying his joy[by athous] 
 and uncouth extravagancies, which I now began to see 
 through. They were brothers our Amos had be 
 trayed their relationship. 
 
 At last I heard the old grandfather say I do not 
 know how to thank thee ; I am getting very childish ; 
 but if thee will go with us to Philadelphia and see her 
 mother and the rest of our family, they will satisfy 
 thee perhaps, that though we are a people of few 
 words, we are not o' the unthankful or the forgetful. 
 
 No, I thank ye, no occasion said Amos, beginning 
 to haul on his coat over his dripping clothes- no 
 proud flesh here nyther frind what may I call yer 
 name? 
 
 Abraham Leach. 
 
 Well then, if its all the same to you Abraham, as I 
 aint much used to your ways, nor you to mine and 
 then he stopped, grew very pale, and asked for a 
 bandage and something warm to take the chill off; 
 and then, before we could put forth a hand to help 
 him, though twenty of us were standing about, he 
 staggered away with outstretched arms, and fell his 
 whole length upon the wet slippery deck, within three 
 feet of the open gangway the passage-way to another 
 world. Then it was, and not till then, that we saw 
 the whole strength of his character. On lifting him 
 up, we found his breast severely cut, and his left arm 
 disabled.
 
 134 THE DOWN EASTERS, <kc. &c. 
 
 Gracious God ! he is bleeding to death, cried one* 
 of the bystanders. 
 
 Not by two chalks ! muttered Amos ; wan't brung 
 up in the medders to be kicked to death by grasshop 
 pers ; howsomever frinds, if its all the same to you, I 
 should like a bandage to sling my arm, with a sheet 
 or two o' brown paper for my head, a handful o' 
 wormwood bruised with a wine glass o' New-England 
 rayal ginwyne, (smacking his white lips,) and a 
 mug half an' half two mugs I should say ; for I owe 
 that are chap there a handsome treat, (nodding to 
 Obadiah, who held up the fag end of the quieu in re 
 ply,) and Amos O. P. Fairfield aint one of them air 't 
 play sherk, I ruther guess, when it comes to a treat ; 
 if it hadn't a ben for 'Diah I might 'a gone to the bugs 
 arter all. 
 
 To the fishes, more like, said Obadiah ; might, a 
 laid in a stock o' kew-leather 'mong the eels, haw, 
 haw I 
 
 That air plaguy split-wood's none o' the softest, I 
 tell ye, for a feller to dive inter, both gwyin' different 
 ways, and both in a dreadful hurry. 
 
 Here a pocket-book was put into his hand, as it lay 
 over his brother's knee. 
 
 Hullo! what's this 'ere? turning it over, and 
 shifting it three or four times from one hand to the 
 other. 
 
 It is thine, whispered a Voice at my elbow ; it be 
 longs to thee. 
 
 B'longs to me ! no sich a thing ; wunt own it nor 
 touch to; never seed it afore who are you makin* 
 mouths at ? 
 
 A person here stepped forward, who had been,;
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 125 
 
 making signs for a long time at Amos, and whispered 
 something in his ear, at which his countenance bright 
 ened up, and rolling over and supporting himself on 
 his elbows, he opened the pocket-book, and pulling 
 forth a quantity of bank-notes, which lay smoothly 
 spread out between two-folds of worn parchment; and 
 puckering up his mouth and clenching his teeth as if to 
 avoid betraying his inward joy, he proceeded to count 
 the money, dollar by dollar, in a voice loud enough to 
 be heard by all the bystanders, while Obadiah stood 
 watching him, with a look of perplexity, which gradu 
 ally gave way to another, more resembling anxiety, 
 and then to another of downright shame. His lip 
 quivered his cheek changed color and if I was not 
 greatly deceived, there was a drop of scalding water 
 in his eye. 
 
 But Amos heeded him not, and having finished the 
 count, he lifted himself up, announced the sum total 
 to be two hundred and sixty odd dollars, Filadelphy 
 and Baltimore money, adding not worth so much as 
 Boston money, by twenty-five per cent though ; and 
 then, after wiping his hands, he proceeded to lay it all 
 back again into the parchment wrapper, smoothing it 
 down with extraordinary care, drew forth a piece of 
 red tape from his pocket, along with a handful of 
 snarled twine, leather-straps, waxed-ends, a gimlet and 
 spare screws measured it snjpped off a piece of 
 the proper length with a single snap of x his large 
 glistening teeth tied up the parcel *.vith great sobriety 
 and deliberation, and then to our amazement, reached 
 it back to]the person who bad been whispering to him, 
 without saying a word more. 
 
 Whereupon Obadiah pressed forward and clenchinjr 
 L2
 
 126 THE 1WHVN EASTER8, &C. &C. 
 
 him by the hand, without speaking, though he blush 
 ed more than ever, and his handsome eyes looked : 
 handsomer than ever, burst forth into an uncontrolable 
 fit of laughter ; and then stopped suddenly looked 
 silly and went away, as if ashamed of being so 
 happy, or of betraying so much of his real nature even 
 to a brother." 
 
 And why not keep it Mend Amos? whispered the" 
 old quaker, who had stolen up to us unperceived, and 
 was trying to expostulate with him, so as not to be 1 
 heard by others. 
 
 No, no; thank ye as much as if I did no 'casion. 
 
 Do take it do ; thee'll oblige me greatly, and her 
 mother also. It is but a trifle from her abundance. 
 
 May be so, but between you an-' me an' the post, 
 neighbor, that aint the way I git my livin'. 
 
 I dare say not, continued the old man, his eyes fill 
 ing with tears of joy and thankfulness ; but thee has 
 'most spoiled thy clothes, and hurt theeself grievously,, 
 an' I have a right, as thee says, to indemnify thee ac 
 cording to law. 
 
 Not by a jug-full ; cant obleege me at law, frind. 
 
 The old man shook his head. 
 
 Well, then, if its all the same to you frind Leach, or 
 frind Abraham I dont know what your Pheladelphy 
 fashion is, but we say frind so and so, in our parts 
 I aint dreadful paiticular-ye see about my clothes; 
 never was good for much, all I had on wasn't worth 
 a five-dollar bill , and as for my hurts, why man alive,* 
 we dont mind sich sort o' things where I com from,- 
 two jumps of a rattle-snek ben through a, row o' 
 griss-mills afore now, arter ah' ole hat I dropped ft 
 fishin' ; so yer see I shan't take yer money nor touch
 
 TlTfi DOWN EASTERS, &C. &Ci 
 
 to; but I say you mister, (turning to me as he 
 finished) brother 'Diah'll finish the trade with you for 
 that air watch o' yourn, about the slickest, if you'll 
 give him another chance, while my clothes are a dryin'. 
 
 The good old man smiled how could he help it ? 
 at the perfect seriousness of the proposal, and patting 
 him on the shoulder, invited him to go below and have 
 a trade with him for his watch, pulling out a heavy 
 old-fashioned affair of his own, as he spoke. 
 
 That will I ; cried Amos and then stopping and 
 struggling with himself, he added ; no no thank ye 
 taint in my line to make-believe swap ; I can see 
 through you (good naturedly) you mean to be too 
 much for Amos O. P. Fail-field. 
 
 But Obadiah was not willing to let slip so fine a 
 chance, and when I next saw him, he was seated at 
 one of the side-benches beloAV, for a regular swap, 
 without caring a fig for the evident displeasure of his 
 brother, or thinking of any thing else on earth, I am 
 sure ; the old qaaker trying to give boot for the bull- 
 eyed warming-pan with a pewter-face, and the other 
 trying to swap it into him fairly in the way of 
 business. 
 
 It was dark now, and we were making our way to* 
 ward Baltimore smoothly enough I thought ; nor did 
 I observe, till we had come together about the tables 
 below, that Gage and Middleton were no longer on the 
 same terms they had been at first ; each appearing to 
 to hold himself apart and aloof from the other ; and 
 from the Tennessee youth, who appeared to believe 
 that t Gage could not have prevented Middle- 
 ton from going overboard, if the latter had been as 
 much in earnest as he pretended r I began to fear that
 
 128 THE DOWN EASTERS, <fcc. &C. 
 
 mischief was brewing, and resolved in my own mind to 
 to watch the parties and prevent them at all hazards. 
 For myself, I was satisfied that Gage had saved Mid- 
 dleton's life by his violence, and that nothing but a 
 fair opportunity for explanation was needed, to satisfy 
 both of the fact. So, instead of going to sleep as most 
 of the passengers did, I kept my position at the table, 
 where two strangers were engaged in a game of 
 checkers Middleton sitting afar off, with his hat 
 pulled over his eyes, and his arms folded on his chest. 
 I longed to speak to him, but was afraid. On casting 
 round my eyes for Gage, I found him asleep on a 
 settee, his countenance turned away fronj the light, and 
 breathing as freely as heart could desire. Of course 
 there would be no difficulty in dealing with him 
 Your true Yankee is always reasonable always 
 even at the moment of unsheathing the sword, or 
 pulling a hair-trigger. 
 
 Near me, with their ponderous legs outstretched 
 over the superb furniture, half-asleep and half-awake, 
 were Amos and Obadiah, and five or six down-easters, 
 dozing by fits and snoring by kirns. Many attempts 
 were made at conversation, such as you may hear 
 aboard a stage-coach in the grey c^Cthe morning, after 
 a night, voyage over a rough rd'ad in miserable 
 weather lazy questions, lazily put, and more lazily 
 answered one would gape to see them in a newspa 
 per people talking to theTiaselves, and then waiting 
 for a reply, or yawning and stretching all around, one 
 after another. 
 
 Yaw aw aw, wonder where we are now ? says one; 
 how far be we says a second; begins to be rather cold 
 here, mutters a third. Very ! adds a fourth, muffling
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &c. &c. 129 
 
 himself up to the eyes. The next moment they ar 
 all growling together, and all in the same key. My 
 watch has stopped ; if it taint I'm a bigger fool than 
 you are. Only half-past nine ! 'taint posserble. You 
 dont say so gettin' to be rather warm here. Very ! 
 I say steward ! how far is it to where we put up to 
 night ? Dont know 'azacly sir, I'll ax the cap'n. See 
 't ye do aw, aw, aw ! hot as blazes ! Very ! Man 
 re-appears, saying tis better than two hours sail. Bet 
 ter ! I should call it wuss by a darnation-sight. Yaw, 
 aw, aw ! everlastin' cold weather we have for the sea 
 son. Very f At last the party got waked up, and 
 the following conversation took place. 
 
 But we have two Universities, my dear sir, said the 
 fat stranger who had been taking notes. Have ye 
 tho' 1 Well, I should like to know what they're good 
 for. So should I, muttered Gage, lifting himself up 
 on one elbow and preparing to take his part in this, 
 or any other discussion that offered a fair opportunity 
 for playing with both sides of a question for every 
 body knows that our University at Harvard is the first 
 in the world is'nt it gentlemen? To be sure it is ; 
 whoever denied it ? answered two or three voices 
 together. Nobody in America. Talk of libraries 
 and professorships, and oriental literature and all 
 that, pho, pho ! as a body may say 
 
 Precisely ! added a little dapper Bostonian. You 
 are a true patriot sir, and I honor you for your impar 
 tiality. That, (snapping his fingers with a revolu 
 tionary flourish) that ! for your German Universities, 
 ad your Cambridge and Oxford Universities ! what 
 do they know about the improved system established 
 nt, old Harvard ?.
 
 130 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Very true sir; give me your hand, cried Gage, 
 Very true sir. In orthography, arithmetic and 
 English grammar., to say nothing of the higher 
 branches of mathematics, we have a 
 
 Precisely . sir! Here bows were interchanged all 
 around, followed by sundry compliments to one an 
 other's love of country, and freedom from prejudice, 
 when my attention was called to another quarter. 
 
 What a strange foreign look he has ! said some 
 body at another table ; for my part, I believe he was 
 just as much in earnest when he tried to jump over 
 at last cant be a native American surely. 
 
 He is a southerner raised in the north. 
 
 You dont say so ! answered a third voice. 
 
 Of the best blood in the country too, I can tell you 
 that. 
 
 Wai if ever ! Why judgin' by his looks, I'd wager 
 a trifle that he had a cross o' the nigger in him. 
 
 Hush, for God's sake, whispered the other, turning 
 with a look of alarm toward the subject of their con 
 versation, whose breathing grew very audible a 
 minute or two afterwards, though we thought him 
 asleep. Such a remark as that sir, continued the 
 speaker, would cost you or any other man alive 
 more than you would like to pay. 
 
 Wai, if there aint a drop or nigger, there is o' 
 Ingunn blood in him, or I miss my guess no harm, 
 in that I hope ? 
 
 Sir ! 1 entreat you. 
 
 Why what's the matter now ! 
 
 If you wish to leave this boat alive, take my advice 
 and avoid such remarks before the Men of the South. 
 
 You aint serious tho', air ye ?
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, <&C. &C. 131 
 
 But I am serious. I look upon it as a matter of 
 life and death. 
 
 Fiddle de dee ! That for ye men o' the south, I 
 say ! 
 
 And are the men of the south ashamed of being 
 thought to have descended from the original pro 
 prietors of the new world ? said Gage, speaking in a 
 loud clear natural voice the chiefs, the princes, and 
 the kings of North- America ! Shame on them if 
 they are ! 
 
 A suppressed breathing made me look up, and there 
 stood Middleton directly in front of Gage, his under- 
 lip quivering, and his large luminous eyes all afire 
 with inward commotion. 
 
 But Gage continued with the same steady look and 
 firm voice, leaning back in his chair as he finished j 
 and after some few remarks of a general nature re 
 specting the men of the south, wound up with an 
 eloquent apostrophe to the Indians cutting, as with 
 a two-edged sword into the very joints and marrow of 
 that unholy and ungrateful pride, which in the North 
 as well as in the South (for in the north it is highly 
 penal for whites to intermarry with Indians) has pro 
 hibited all companionship, other than that of master 
 and slave, the oppressor and the oppressed, between 
 them. 
 
 Middleton was evidently disturbed, and the Ten 
 nessee youth drew near, hoping I dare say, and be 
 lieving I am sure, that something serious would grow 
 ^out of the conversation before they finished. 
 
 And now Middleton, said Gage my dear Middle- 
 ton, a word with you before all these witnesses. You 
 want a quarrel with me 1 see it plainly.
 
 532 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Middleton grew paler and paler every moment, and 
 he shook all over ; but the wrath of his black eye 
 was not so deadly as before. 
 
 Now, continued Gage, the plain truth is that you 
 are in the wrong ; and therefore I have determined 
 not to allow you to quarrel vit'i me. Nevertheless, 
 for treating you like a madman (as you were) I beg 
 your pardon for saving your life in spite of your 
 determination to throw it away, I 
 
 Here a most unlucky laugh, badly-suppressed from 
 the Tennessee youth, had well nigh set us altogether 
 by the ears again ; but Gage favored him with a look 
 of reproof, and the savage was turning away, with a 
 sort of good-natured growl, when, happening to catch 
 .the eye of Middleton, his countenance instantly 
 changed and he drew himself up to his full stature, 
 and stood facing him and waiting for Gage to finish. 
 
 Yes sir, continued Gage, yet more deliberately 
 For saving your life in spite of your determination 
 to throw it away, Gerard Middleton, I am ready, if 
 you require it, and before all these witnesses, to beg 
 your pardon heartily and humbly. 
 
 That's what I call showin' the white-feather, by 
 Gawd ! cried the Tennessee boy, turning on his heel 
 as he spoke. 
 
 Middleton's eyes flashed fire ; but Gage merely 
 looked up, and begging him not to interfere, turned 
 quietly to the other and asked him what he meant by 
 the remark, and whether it was intended for him. 
 
 What do I mean, stranger ? I mean jess what I 
 say You are showin' the white feather ; an' you 
 know well enough what that means, if you have ever 
 been in the woods an' seen the whippoor-will run
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 133 
 
 away with her tail-feathers draggin' after her, one 
 each side o' the bunch, as white as the driven enow 
 that's what I mean, take it as ye like. 
 
 By all \-hich I am to understand that you believe 
 me warning in courage to resent insult, or to punish 
 insolence in plain English, that I am what bullies 
 and swaggerers would call a coward ? 
 
 What do you mean by that sir ! who d'ye call a 
 swaggerer. 
 
 You shall know in a moment, said Gage, slowly 
 rising from the chair, and measuring his tall handsome 
 antagonist with an eye that neither shifted nor quailed, 
 and a countenance that never altered, till he had 
 finished. You believe me to be a coward then! 
 
 I do. 
 
 And you would insult me, nevertheless ? 
 
 I would. 
 
 What think you of your own courage then ? Is it 
 not the courage of a swaggerer, to insult a coward ? 
 
 For a moment the high-spirited fellow was abashed ; 
 but the next, observing a smile or a sneer about the 
 mouth of Middleton, he uttered something some 
 thing, I know not what, nor could 1 ever learn that 
 any body there had fully understood it ; and instantly, 
 but for Gage, who grappled with the Tennesseean 
 and threatened to call captain Trip, th^y would have 
 sprung at each other's throats across the table. Ai it 
 was, they were instantly separated, a/id withdrew in 
 a portentous silence to their respective berths. 
 
 We were now approaching Baltimore. The outline 
 
 of the city was already visible upon the clear blue 
 
 sky, in a mass of huge broken shadow, with the 
 
 cathedral crowning the whole, and the Washington- 
 
 II
 
 134 THE DOWN EASTEUS, &C. &C. 
 
 monument upheaving itself into the unclouded vault* 
 like the wonders you see on your approach to Rome, 
 while yet afar off; and I had begun to hope that we 
 should have no further trouble, when happening to 
 turn away from the light, I had a view of Gage in a 
 mirror as he sat with his back toward me, and for the 
 first time in my life I felt as if nothing could save one 
 fellow-creature from the wrath of another nothing. 
 And yethe had only grown a little more serious ; and 
 so long as he sat with his back toward me, talking 
 pleasantly with the other passengers, I should not 
 have suspected from his voice that any thing was the 
 matter. But from the moment I saw his face there, 
 I felt alarmed I know not why the reader must 
 have seen such a face to understand me -alarmed 
 for the safety of the Tennesseean. 
 
 Yet as I have said before, the conversation was 
 cheerful enough, and nobody else, not even captain 
 Trip himself, appeared to think seriously of the tri 
 fling dispute which had occurred. 
 
 Again I found myself at my old employment of 
 studying character and hoarding up phraseology. 
 He'll do it any day o' the week, said a man at my 
 elbow, let alone Saturdays of course the speaker 
 was a Marylander of Irish parentage. What a heap 
 a folks there w<*s to be sure, said another a Virginian 
 of course a mighty little man of his age, said a 
 third a Carolinian. I shot the <ioor, an' went an' sot 
 down, said a fourth. r ra t iml some; I aint tired 
 any, added a fifth and sixth. < a ,. that up, an' empt 
 it; I expect he was fi-njost tired m death all Yan 
 kees. No marm I have not \val I \\.,nt yer to, ditto, 
 ditto. Rcsky jumpy, skerse, a d -i -complected
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 135 
 
 man ; I should admire to see you do it : He said how 
 he ceuld handle me, and told him he might have a 
 chance to try ; use your thinkers : I vum if I would 
 ditto, ditto, ditto. Good deal o' land about here ; 
 niee putty stars, but lord you, as the gal said to her 
 feller, if you could only see the bunch thats right over 
 our front door. There now ! its al 1 gut to be strained 
 over agin ! as the old woman said, ,*; |MMBM'4MB|* 
 
 ~^^^m* 4 ' 1^^^ 
 
 ^jrcLjggllJQfy, . Thats right down Ujrly o' you. Trn 
 rather porely now. See any thing partiklar in that 
 feller there ? makes poetry himself sabbadays, made 
 more poetry an' you could shake a stick at ; never 
 thought o' trying his hand at it nyther, till arter he 
 failed in the timber-trade. You belong to Poland? 
 No, to Minot you aint acquainted with a man by the 
 name o' Dodge, Joel Dodge, air ye ? all Yankees of 
 one sort or another. 
 
 Thus far had I proceeded, taking down every re 
 markable phrase that met my ear, upon the blank leaf 
 of a new novel, which lay before me a page that I 
 preserved for many years, and have now most faithfully 
 copied, when a passenger who came below for his 
 umbrella and great coat, informed us we should reach 
 the wharf in a few minutes. I ran up on deck and 
 getting my luggage together, was standing over it and 
 listening to the noise of the steam, as it bellowed and 
 roared through the huge cylinder, when the boat 
 reached the wharf, and the next moment, dark as it 
 was, two mortal enemies found each other out, as by 
 the instinct of unappeasable hate, and before a soul 
 could interfere, a splash was heard in the deep still 
 water, accompanied by a loud half-smothered cry, 
 which made us all rush to the spot whence it pro-
 
 136 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 
 
 ceeded. A man was over-board. We drew him in. 
 He wa? pale, and speechless, and bloody. 
 
 Gracious God sir, cried I, going up to Middleton, 
 who stood near the edge of the water, with the light 
 of a dozen lamps streaming upon- his face his foot 
 plante 1 his hat off his> collar open, his black hair 
 flying loose in the wind, and his eye fixed with a 
 dread 1 ui .pxprag ifoa of unrelenting wrath upon the 
 rescued man, who lay stretched out }ifc$t&jtd, body 
 upon the wharf, wi;h a cloak thrown over hiirTlfnu a 
 portmanteau under his head Gracious God sir, what 
 have you done! 
 
 I have dirked him, was the reply. 
 I shuddered ; for the spoke with a cheerful voice, 
 and I co:ild have sworn that he smiled; for his black 
 joyful eyes were shining with a newer and more 
 savage lustre. 
 
 We parted before I knew the whole truth; but not 
 before I saw him in custody, and heard him say with 
 a light cheerful air pho, pho, rny dear Gage, we are 
 even now. What are you afraid of? the poor fellow 
 may thank his stars that he had me to deal with, 
 instead of you there's a chance for him now. 
 Gerard Middleton. 
 Pho, pho, I know what you mean to say. 
 
 If that man should not recover 
 
 Why then he'll be cured of gouging, that's all, put 
 ting his hand to his foreheatl-as he spoke, and showing 
 how narrow had been his ovvn escape from the Joss 
 of an eye the hair was literally torn from his 
 temples and there was the mark of a thumb-nail. 
 Man ! man ! cried Gage, I wonder at you. 
 I told him what I would do, if he did'nt release ma 
 instantly and I did it and there he lies I
 
 THE DOWX EASTERS, &C. &C. 137 
 
 God forgive you, said I ; farewell ! 
 Farewell sir. 
 
 And here we parted He for a prison or a scaffold, 
 and I for the south. 
 
 H2
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 AFTER this, my curiosity led me far to the south, 
 where I was a long while detained. On my return 
 through Baltimore, I made some enquiries about Mid- 
 
 dleton, the result of which was very satisfactory to me r 
 
 ^Htf 
 
 for I had begun to feel a deep solicitude concerning 
 him. It appeared on trial that his huge adversary drew 
 a knife, as he stepped upon the wharf where the blow 
 was given, that he sprung atMiddleton and'seized him 
 by the throat, apparently for the purposes of throwing 
 him into the river, that he twisted his right hand into 
 his hair, and that something was said by one or both 
 about gouging, the very instant before the cry, which 
 was followed by the plunge overboard. Middleton 
 was therefore set free, though the man had not recov 
 ered, and it was probable never would recover. I had 
 the further satisfaction of hearing that he forgave Mid 
 dleton, and that he spoke of the affair to the judges of 
 the court in such a way as to excite the admiration of 
 all who heard him. The public sympathy when I ar 
 rived at Baltimore was divided between the two; every 
 body spoke well of the Tennessean, of his fortitude, 
 courage and magnanimity ; and every body spoke well 
 of Middleton, who might have escaped a trial if he 
 would ; but he gave himself up after an accidental 
 rescue, and was only discharged in due course of law. 
 The more I knew of this man the more I heard of 
 his behavior from the day that I saw him arrested, in 
 a matter of life and death, up to the hour of his ac-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 139 
 
 quittal by a jury, the more anxious I grew about him. 
 He appeared to me to be made for superior things 
 for great things and to have need of such advice 
 and such help as a man a few years older than him 
 self might give, were he invested with the authority of 
 an elder brother. I would have done much for him, 
 for he appeared capable of doing much for the world. 
 But Avhither had he gone ? where should I seek him, 
 or that strange fellow that was with him, Gage? No 
 body could tell me, though I pursued the enquiry for 
 a long while. 
 
 At last however, just when I had given up all idea 
 of ever seeing either of the two again, chance threw 
 us together in a very odd way. I was at New York 
 waiting the arrival of a ship, in which I intended to go 
 on a voyage to the South-Sea. She was ho irly ex 
 pected, and I was therefore obliged to hold myself in 
 readiness, night and day ; and not knowing what else 
 to do in such a state, I contrived to waste as much of 
 my time as I could in the society of beautiful women, 
 who make up a fifth part of the population of New- 
 York, and among others, in that of a widow a mag- 
 nificient creature a lady too, if there was ever a thing 
 so delightful or so artificial on that side of the sea, 
 with a set-off in the shape of two great sprawling 
 daughters. It may be that I was in love with her; 
 and it may be I would not swear that I was not in 
 love with all three at the same time, for I missed the 
 ship after all, and had two or three narrow escapes of 
 one sort and another. 
 
 She was youthful at the avowed age of -.-.iirty-one 
 or two, in a part of the country where women at the 
 age of two score generally contrive to look as if they
 
 140 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. <fcc. 
 
 had never been less than fifty. She was a sort of 
 epicure an epicure in every thing I dare not say 
 voluptuary, that being a dis-logistic word. She 
 breathed an atmosphere that was always ready to 
 kindle about her ; and she passed her life in touching 
 and lasting for experiment sake, whatever it was not 
 very safe either to touch or taste. I never saw a 
 woman so followed in America, though she was not 
 over wealthy ; but then the was beautiful, the leader 
 of New-York fashion, rather witty and sufficiently 
 pious for the period I speak of. She appeared to me 
 to have made up her mind God forgive her to en 
 joy life as much as it is possible for a woman to enjoy 
 it, where men are legislators for every body. She 
 knew that spies were set on every side of her path ; 
 she knew that there is no out-living nor escaping re 
 proach, whether it be deserved or not, if a woman step 
 over the invisible boundary that we have made for her; 
 and yet, she was eternally trespassing where no other 
 female would have the courage to look trespassing 
 with one foot, while the other was anchored in safety ; 
 peeping into prohibited places ; or standing a-tip- 
 toe and looking over the barrier, and trembling and 
 thrilling afar off. 
 
 She delighted in what are called innocent pleasant 
 ries, in pretty little misunderstandings, in half- whisper 
 ed, half-acted inuendoes, though she would look all 
 the time as if she had no-mischief in her heart, and 
 speak as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth ; and 
 she had a way it would be impossible for me to de 
 scribe it- 1 * -a way that no young woman eVer had, a 
 way that few married women ever had (while they 
 were married) of entrapping hearts with, a, snare that
 
 THE DOWN EAST2RS, &C. &C. 141 
 
 every body could see; now by flirting with a ribbon 
 that shivered with every breath she drew, or lay as if 
 it were alive upon her superb shoulder ; now by 
 gathering up her exuberant hair ; now by permitting 
 a bird to play with her shut lips, or to plunge his beak 
 into a mouth like a wet rose-bud; now by coquetting 
 with a child or a guitar ; now by toying with a watch in 
 her bosom set with jewels, or a miniature, a chain, or 
 a necklace, the sparkle of which would be sure to at 
 tract the eye ; now by pulling up her slipper half- 
 sitting, half-lounging the while, upon a deep couch 
 covered with loose drapery. 
 
 I had seen her in my youth, I knew her when the 
 war of 1812 broke out, and I knew her at the close of 
 that war, when it began to be considered a very pro 
 per thing for people to go to church twice a day rain 
 or shine provided they were not able to keep a car 
 riage. I knew her at a period when fire and earth 
 quake had made it rather fashionable to pray and 
 when very respectable and very genteel people, were 
 known to pray and when the most beautiful women 
 of New-York were to be seen at church, though Broad 
 way, the Battery, and both rivers were open at the 
 time ; and she appeared to me to grow younger and 
 younger every year. 
 
 At the period I speak of, she had become rather de 
 vout; every body spoke of her piety, and I had observ 
 ed that there was a stir among the British officers, who 
 happened to be there on parole at the same time 
 hardly one of them ever missing the church she fre 
 quented, when it was understood that she was to be 
 there, and very few the day or the hour, as they para 
 ded up and down before their favorite places of wor
 
 142 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 ship, if they saw her carriage roll by ; many of them 
 showing the most exemplary moderation, forbearance 
 and self-denial, when the weather would not allow them 
 to break out in their holiday-uniforms, by going to 
 church, nevertheless, with any thing to cover them till 
 they were faily housed, Avhen the loudness and solem 
 nity of their responses and the clangor of their kneel 
 ing, were enough to do your heart good. Take it alto 
 gether, it was a very refreshing season as we say 
 there ; and I was repeatedly -assured by Mrs. Amory 
 the fair widow, that she had seen a young naval officer, 
 who sat behind her pew, so wrought upon by the elo 
 quence of Dr. Mason, that he was obliged to cover his 
 face with his hands very pretty 4iands they were too* 
 and remain with his head in a corner till the Congre 
 gation -were set free ; and that she saw another, a mili 
 tary man (with a new coat covered with new bullion, 
 a new hat, and no umbrella) betray a very becoming 
 sense of his awful situation, one day when it sudden 
 ly clouded overhead, as they come out of church to 
 gether, now by turning up his eyes to heaven, with a 
 look almost of despair, and now by muttering a few 
 broken sentences, which appeared to be heaved up 
 from the very bottom of his heart. I >yas futhermore 
 assured by a clergyman that he had never known such 
 a revival at New-York as that which took place 
 while the British were thundering at her gates ; but 
 then he acknowledged that soon after the war broke 
 out, there was a fearful awakening at the north ; and 
 I heard from another quarter that the land shook, that' 
 armies were seen parading over the sky, and great 
 ships riding at anchor in the hollow of the mountains, 
 where the fog was like a sea, and the noise of the 
 wind like the roar of the sea.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 143 
 
 It is a time of war, said another, and if a time of 
 war will not make people serious and regular in their 
 attendance at church provided they have new clothes, 
 no other place to go to, and nothing else to do, why 
 the devil is in it. Oh ! for shame ! cried the beautiful 
 widow, adjusting a magnificent shawl, and stepping 
 away so as to show the whole sweep of her person 
 you are too severe. Am I ? 
 
 Yes. You would not be at church this very day, 
 but for the shawl you received last night from India. 
 
 She was already on her way up the broad -aisle, 
 with every eye upon her ; and every pulse fluttering 
 at the sight of her cashmere. 
 
 In spite of all we say in America about the patrici 
 ans of Europe, and their foolish pride of birth, we 
 are not without our patricians here people of yester 
 day or the day before, who having had grandfathers 
 of their own, are not to be confounded with the peo 
 ple of to-day. When I first knew the fair widow, she 
 was maneuvering for a place among the former; when 
 we parted she was maneuvering still, but I fear with 
 little or no prospect of success, for some how or 
 other, it had come to be known that her father was 
 nobody neither a lawyer nor a merchant, not even 
 a retail-merchant nothing but a tailor. Of course 
 the widow, but for the carriage and pair that she still 
 continued to keep, her beauty, and her supposed 
 wealth, which gave her the lead for a time in the little 
 world of high fashion at New-York, would never 
 have been situated in what is called good-society 
 there meaning the society of the few that live with 
 out work, or by a profession, or by merchandize 
 imported by the cargo, to say nothing of the best
 
 144 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 society there, the ancient nobility of America, whose 
 fathers happen to have died where, if history be true, 
 their fathers happened to live. 
 
 It cannot be denied however that so long as the 
 widow was able to sport her cashmeres and her 
 carriage, not a few of the second class of republican 
 nobility, were vastly condescending to her at church, 
 where it is understood that a whisper, a bow, or a 
 shake of the hand, is to go for nothing if it be not 
 authenticated elsewhere. 
 
 Why do you live such a life? said I to her one day, 
 as we sat together in the deep couch I spoke of, she 
 with her eyes fixed upon the fire, a >d I studying the 
 changes that I saw in her face Why give people 
 such power over you ? 
 
 Why ! her lip quivered, a shadow that I had never 
 seen there before, played about her mouth, and her 
 forehead shook in the fire light. Because I am a 
 mother 
 
 Well, and what if you are 
 
 A mother ; and every body knows that the first 
 duty of a mother is to be, when her daughters are 
 old enough to appear in the world what I never 
 shall be heigho ! 
 
 And what is that ? 
 
 An old woman my dear Mr. Fox. 
 
 I was very much struck by the tone of voice, in 
 which these few words wei*e- uttered. They appeared 
 to issue from the very bottom of her heart. 
 
 She continued I am a widow. 
 
 Your own fault, if you are a widow long, said I. 
 
 A widow, and past the age, when, whatever we do 
 is looked upon with charity ; a mother and and
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 145 
 
 Her eyes filled 
 
 With two grown-up daughters; a widow, with a 
 feeling which, whatever other people may say, she 
 knows to be the feeling that agitated her in youth, 
 always at work in her heart heigho ! I wish I was 
 in my grave heigho ! 
 
 I tried to sooth her. You in your grave ! said I 
 You! why what would you do there pray? 
 
 I might sleep Mr. Fox. 
 
 Query 
 
 Heigho ! 
 
 Nonsense. You have it in your power to be happy, 
 and to make others happy ; and yet you are wicked 
 enough to wish yourself where between ourselves 
 now, my dear madam I doubt if you would have the 
 same power that you enjoy here. 
 
 If I had never been married at all, I I beg your 
 pardon I I do wish you would go for Kate. 
 
 Certainly, said I, she's a dear good girl. 
 
 She looked at me Well, why dont you go ? 
 
 Lord bless you, said I, without moving a step, aint 
 I going as fast as I can? 
 
 Very well turning away her head, as if she 
 did not hear me, and looking into the fire with a 
 faint smile And everybody knows that the chief duty 
 of a mother is to maintain her daughters, from the 
 day they are old enough, or large enough Kate is 
 very tall of her age dont you think so ? at every 
 sacrifice and both much younger than you would 
 suppose hey ? 
 
 I bowed. 
 
 Keep them she must, at every sacrifice and at 
 every humiliation to herself, in just exactly that rank 
 F
 
 146 THE DOWN EASTERS, &,C. &C. 
 
 of society, where they have no clear, indisputable 
 right to b$ 
 
 Very true ; what else can she be good fofr ? 
 
 What! else ? 
 
 After a certain age, I mean. 
 
 Of course with a smile heigho ! 
 
 Whether she be married or a widow, old or young, 
 
 beautiful as the day or or 
 
 She drew a long breath. 
 Or ugly as the witch of Endor. 
 Very true, my dear friend where they must live 
 in a state of warfare with everybody that comes in 
 their way. 
 
 In bad humor with everybody 
 And with themselves into the bargain ; for nobody 
 knows how to behave to them in society, whether as 
 equals, or humble companions, or as people having as 
 good a right as their neighbours, to make them 
 selves uncomfortable and ridiculous in a certain way. 
 And where everybody who, crosses their path will 
 be sure to wonder at them said I. 
 True, true. 
 
 For that proves that they are in a rank of society, 
 where, but for intrigue, electioneering, and sheer 
 impudence, they never would be. 
 Very true. 
 
 In this comfortable situation, they grow up, their 
 hearts brimful of bitterness and fear, and sickly hope ; 
 forever slipping back in their up-hill ascent, and for 
 ever leaning forward. 
 
 Very true and elbowing the less happy or the less 
 ambitious at every step, under pretence of keeping 
 their places
 
 THE DOWN EASTKRS, &.C. &C. 147 
 
 Bowing their way up, till they get a head or a toe 
 into the group just above them, shouldering them 
 aside at the next breath, and then turning their backs 
 upon them, through every successive stage of society ; 
 all whom they have out-stripped rejoicing in every 
 humiliation they meet with, and all whom they ap 
 proach wondering aloud at their audacity ; but all 
 every where above, below, and about their path, 
 uniting together against them, forever on the watch 
 to discover their faults, and forever disposed to 
 magnify their failures, and rejoice over their humili 
 ations. 
 
 Ah my dear sir, I feel the truth of what you say 
 every word is true. 
 
 Then why persevere in that path ? Believe me 
 madam it is not the way to respectability, whatever 
 you may suppose. Your children are made unhappy 
 to no purpose ; they will not be suffered to remain 
 where you have tried to place them. 
 
 I believe you ; but what am I to do ? 
 
 Give up the society of people you do not care for. 
 
 Ah ! you know not how much you ask ! 
 
 And the society of those who do not care for you. 
 
 Oh Lord ! what would become of me ? 
 
 You would be happier than ever 
 
 Query, as you say ; I cannot bear solitude heigho I 
 
 Solitude ! 
 
 Yes ; your plan would leave me I very much 
 fear in a deplorable state. 
 
 How so ? 
 
 Altogether alone. Here she heaved a sigh that 
 went to my heart, and her eyes fell, and her little 
 *nowy hand slipped away from the place on which it
 
 148 THE DOWN EASTERS, <fec. <fcc. 
 
 rested, and fell upon the crimson drapery of th* 
 couch, like a live bird escaped from a snare. 
 
 I wish you could be prevailed upon to see this* 
 matter as I do, said I, slipping my hand after hers in 
 such a way as to alarm neither You might be very 
 happy. 
 
 She shook her head with a faint smile. 
 
 And why not, pray ? 
 
 How can you ask ! am I not the mother of two 
 grown-up girls? 
 
 And what if you are ? 
 
 And am I not younger at the heart, this very day, 
 than either of the two, my dear friend ? 
 
 Upon my word, I believe you are. 
 
 Still young, without the privileges of youth ? 
 
 I could have wept a tear or two here, at the 'very 
 sound of her roice. 
 
 A mother of women, without a share of that in 
 sensibility which I regard as their highest prerogative. 
 
 I understand you I pity you. 
 
 Excuse me, I cannot bear to be pitied heigho. 
 F Pho, pho that is the talk of your every-day novel- 
 reader. 
 
 But I am very seriour. 
 
 Pho, pho ; cannot bear to be pitied ! you ! why 
 what are you made of? There is not a creature alive 
 in the shape of woman, ay, or of man either, who in 
 saying that, would say the* .truth. It were easier to 
 live without hope, than without pity. 
 
 To say all in a word / am a widow. 
 
 That's true 
 
 If I were to withdraw from society at my age, 
 what would people say I
 
 THE DOWN EA.STERS, &C. &C. 149 
 
 Say ! That you were a thousand times wiser than 
 they ever thought you. 
 
 It would be ascribed to the jealousy of a mother ; 
 it would be said every where that I withdrew to 
 escape the mortification of being rivaled, or it may be 
 eclipsed by my own daughters. Ah my dear Mr. Fox 
 do you know I have taken a great fancy to your 
 name christian-name I mean but proceed. 
 
 In which case, they would be thought older than 
 they are, and you, therefore, older than you are ; and 
 you might be obliged to go into your grave a widow. 
 
 I mean to go into my grave a widow. 
 
 Really ! 
 
 Yes heigho ! 
 
 I know better. 
 
 She snatched away her hand, which some how or 
 other I never knew how I had contrived to clasp, 
 and withdrew her foot which had strayed into the 
 middle of the hearth-rug, where it loitered with an 
 expression (feet have a deal of expression, love) that 
 well might give me the heart-ache, as I sat by her 
 side.
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 We continued our conversation. 
 
 You go to church twice a day now. 
 
 Now ! I have done so for a whole year. 
 
 Ever since your pulpit was furnished with a tall, 
 handsome, unmarried man, of high family. 
 
 Absurd ! 
 
 So pious too so severe of speech and so very 
 devout, always in the way of a prayer-meeting, or a 
 lecture, now. 
 
 Why to tell you the truth, I have no great aversion 
 to these matters now ; we see very good society at 
 church 
 
 The truth will out! You have no dislike to the 
 church, nor to the pious, nor to praying a little your 
 self in a private way when there are no cards out, 
 nor much risk of your being caught by the ungodly ; 
 nor would you refuse to appear at a public conference, 
 or at a chapel I dare say if you were supported in 
 the measure by the presence of good-society. You 
 are perfectly satisfied urith yourself, you care not 
 whither you go, nor what you do so long as you are 
 in good-society. You hare two daughters to bring 
 up, and being yourself neither very old nor very 
 ugly, you would endure any thing to preserve their 
 
 place and yours in good-society 
 
 You are very severe 
 
 Then what I say must be very true. Would you 
 not I ask you as I would have you ask me wo u
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. <tc. 151 
 
 you not wear a mob-cap, or say thee and thou, if it 
 were the fashion ? 
 
 To be sure I would why not ? I see no harm in 
 a mob-cap, nor in saying thee and thou; if other 
 people do. 
 
 Other people of high fashion. You would undergo 
 a sociable private awakening I dare say, or a snug 
 revival at your own house, if it were required of you ? 
 
 To be sure I would 
 
 Ay, or sing through the nose 
 
 " I'll take my staff and travel on 
 
 " The way that Zion's pilgrim's gone, 
 
 with every other tune of the conventicle, to the 
 guitar, the harp, or the piano, if you were kept in 
 countenance by what you call good-society? You 
 go to the house of the Lord every sabbath-day, as 
 you call it, Mrs. Amory, not because you care a fig 
 for what is done there, but because, now that the 
 British are nigh, you are pretty sure of meeting with 
 good-society there ; and you go to the table of your 
 Saviour (provided there be no other engagement,) 
 because there, even there, good-society may some 
 times be met with 
 
 Heigho. 
 
 At this very time, that no part of your superfluous 
 piety may run to waste, you are a member of two or 
 three little evangelical associations, got up for the 
 encouragement of the poor and the base, for the pro 
 motion of tittle-tattle and the icriptures; and you are 
 secretary to a sort of club, where, at so many coppers 
 a week (filched out of your servants or your milk- 
 woman) every member is entitled to a cup of tea and 
 a vote in the election of her favorites to power in this
 
 152 THE DOWN EA8TERS, &C. &C. 
 
 world and the next ; where you intermeddle with 
 mysteries and work-bags at the same time ; where 
 you rummage among the stars and the cherubim with 
 as familiar an air, as other bonnetted things do among 
 paste jewelry, Brazil diamonds, or changeable silk in 
 a retail shop ; where you prattle about heaven and 
 the other place, very much as you do about your 
 puddings and pies; and select places for good-society, 
 in the sky, and for unbelievers not in the sky ; as if 
 each of you had a map of our Father's house that 
 house with many mansions with a plan of the pit 
 and boxes. 
 
 Well 
 
 You are a member, r to my knowledge, of a tract- 
 society, and a part of your pastime is a sort of whole 
 sale piracy ; you learn to make books, not by com 
 bining letters and syllables, but paragraphs and peri 
 ods ; by pasting together bits of newspapers, of little 
 greasy story books, of superannuated almanacks, of 
 worn-out ballads ; producing therefrom, by slight 
 changes of titles, names, dates and facts, or by trans 
 posing an occasional period, the most aflecting and 
 well-authenticated narratives, either of surprising 
 conversions to your creed, or of terrible judgments 
 on the misbeliever, with certificates in blank for all 
 who are pious enough to vouch for their truth 
 
 You are in a sweet humor, to be sure ; we lay no 
 claim to the authorship of the works we put forth 
 we merely abridge them for the poor. 
 
 So ! abridgement with you, means the tearing a 
 book to pieces and putting a few of the leaves together 
 again ? 
 
 She made no reply.
 
 DOWN EA.STERS, <fcc. &c. 153 
 
 It is further lawful I hear, when you have no tracts 
 before the board, for the members to sigh in rotation 
 over the particular depravity of such or such a person, 
 who, to prove your impartiality, or your superiority 
 to the prejudices of the world, is either a relation, a 
 friend, or a neighbor. 
 
 But we always give our authority for what we say. 
 
 So as to prevent the possibility of its being attri 
 buted to envy, or malice, or tea-gossip. 
 
 Why, what would you have ! 
 
 I hear too, that she who has the readiest tongue, 
 the shrillest voice, and the greatest variety of anec 
 dotes not generally known, of domestic infidelities 
 and squabbles in our city, is made chair-woman over 
 sea they would call her a char-woman. 
 
 Lady president if you please. 
 
 Well, who is your lady president now, pray ? 
 
 The lady of Mr. B 
 
 The lady ! pshaw 
 
 Of Mr. B the rich banker. 
 
 The rich banker ! fiddle de dee, Mrs. A we have 
 
 no bankers here. 
 
 And a very pious lady she is too, and very chari 
 table. 
 
 How dare you say so ! She is a woman of no true 
 piety, of no fixed religious faith, and you know it ; a 
 mere gossip and the worst of all gossips, a gossip in 
 creeds, without knowledge, and without a spark of 
 true charity, if you mean the charity that seeth no 
 evil hopeth no evil. 
 
 Thinketh, if you please 
 
 A woman who believes that they who are not of 
 her church must be 1 will not say what now ; and
 
 154 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 that your good-for-nothing moral people, who do 
 their duty on earth for the sake of what may be had 
 on earth, and belong to no church at all, are hardly 
 worth praying for ; a woman of no worth, of no 
 character 
 
 Of no character ! 
 
 Of no principle ; very like the majority of women 
 though, educated as they now are, not so positively 
 bad, as negatively good. She charitable ! God for 
 give you ! Her charity is confined to those who go 
 to her church, or visit where she visits, or to people 
 whom she knows, loves, or shares in the reputation of, 
 whatever it may be ; or it is that kind of give-and 
 take-charity which induces her to excuse every thing 
 in every body, partly that she may appear amiable, 
 and partly in the hope that one day or other, we may 
 be ready to excuse every thing in her. It is not the 
 charity that engirdles the earth, embracing every 
 creature alive, our enemies the whole human family, 
 pressing them together on every side as with a sort 
 of moral atmosphere, by whieh, and through which 
 the pulsation of a heart here may sound through all 
 the hearts of Europe, and the throb of a heart there, 
 sound through every other quarter of the globe. 
 
 Ah, but how humble she is, and how meek! 
 
 Very ! humble enough to go in the attire of a 
 princess to beg for the poor ; humble enough to wash 
 the clean feet of the youthful and the healthy, if 
 she had a crown upon her head, or if a whole nation 
 were looking at her ; humble enough I dare say, 
 when the sea roars, when the sky thunders, or the 
 earth shakes to hide herself in holes and corners 
 with abject humility.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &-C. &.C. 155 
 
 Lord v how you talk ! 
 
 She is not of them that are able to stand upright in 
 the earth-quake, yet fear to blaspheme their Maker, 
 by calling any work of his hands, least of all that 
 which he has made in his own image, utterly vile and 
 worthless. 
 
 If you go on so, I must leave you! 
 
 Thus much to give the reader an idea of Mrs. A's 
 character, and that of her conversation. It may be 
 that he has heard a beautiful widow reason before if 
 not, he will be gratified with what I affirm to be a 
 true report of the discourse that she indulged me 
 with : let me add here that Mrs. Amory was precisely 
 of that age, whatever that may be, when a woman is 
 most to be feared by a full grown man. Young 
 women, and beautiful children of that age that all 
 women wish to be, "Sweet sixteen," seldom or never 
 succeed in snaring a full-grown man ; or if they do, 
 they are never able to keep him. The proud, the 
 wise, and the mature of the male sex are not much 
 given (whatever the poets may say, and whatever the 
 fair may suppose) to doating upon women while they 
 doat upon green-apples and confectionary, chalk or 
 charco ', or bread-and-butter, and skip the rope, hour 
 after hour, with what is called a sincere and innocent 
 joy ; they cannot abide the unfledged nestling they 
 seek a braver appetite, a heavier plumage and a 
 louder note in the bird that is to sing them to sleep 
 in the pride of their strength birds that are met 
 with only in the far-quiet and shadowey places of our 
 earth, or along the sea-shore the solitary spirits of 
 the solitude. 
 
 You are to be with us on Friday week, I hope,
 
 156 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 said Mrs. Amory, laying her hand with a sweet care 
 less air upon my shoulder, in the midst of my revery. 
 
 On Friday week ! I hope not. 
 
 Very civil, to be sure 
 
 If the ship does not arrive soon Good God ! it is 
 impossible for me to stay here ; I am wasting my life 
 away, fretting myself to death. - 
 
 Poor man perhaps you are in love. 
 
 God forbid ah ; a knock I must be off. 
 
 Off now ! off in such a hurry ! no, no, my dear sir, 
 that will never do. If you must leave me, wait till 
 you see who it is Ah I know that step ! dont 
 escape now the moment the door is opened, I beseech 
 you Ah, my dear Mr. G. how d'ye do ; where's your 
 Georgia friend? 
 
 Here to-morrow, said the new comer. It wa 
 Atherton Gage himself, but so altered, so pale and so 
 haggard, I scarcely knew him. 
 
 Will he indeed ! 
 
 I thought you were determined never to admit the 
 handsome profligate, as I have heard you call him, 
 into your house again, said Gage. 
 
 Ah, but he is not so bad now, I hope ? 
 
 Worse than ever. 
 
 What can I do ? 
 
 Do ! pshaw 
 
 I beg your pardon ! Mr. G. Mr. F. ; Mr. F. Mr, G. 
 Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Happy to see you, Mr. F. 
 
 How d'ye do, Mr. G ? And we both laughed at the 
 oddity of the introduction. 
 
 Well, said Mrs. A. ; hereafter you shall be Mr. F. 
 and you Mr. G. You shall go by no other names.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 157 
 
 It was indeed the very Gage I saw on board the 
 steam-boat ; we recognized each other immediately^ 
 and having laughed heartily together at our absurd 
 introduction by Mrs-. Amory, we were on a very 
 familiar footing before we parted. 
 
 Ah, you appear to know each other ! cried she. 
 
 We have met before, said I. 
 
 Under very peculiar circumstances, added Mr. G. ; 
 this gentleman saw the whole of that unhappy affair, 
 which led to the overthrow of our plans for the 
 South, 
 
 Indeed ! How wonderful that I should never have 
 heard either of you speak of the other ! Pray, Mn 
 Fox turning to me* 
 
 We did not know each other madam ; said I. 
 
 But you shall know each other now the two best 
 friends I have on earth. 
 
 Gage smiled, I bowed, the widow returned my bow> 
 and I was the happiest man alive. 
 
 We passed the even-ing together, and a part of the 
 next day, and the whole of the next, and before the 
 week was over, we were on the best terms in the 
 world, with the widow, with ourselves, and with each 
 other. But one thing puzzled me I was anxious to 
 hear about Elizabeth Hale, the fair Quakeress but 
 whenever I alluded to her, he would contrive to 
 change the subject, so that up to tl*e last hour of my 
 being with him, I was never able to learn whether she 
 was dead or alive ; and yet some how or other, I had 
 a suspicion that he knew, and was determined not to 
 gratify me. 
 
 On Friday you are to go with me to Mrs. A's great 
 annual party we shall take no excuse ; I want you
 
 158 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 to see Middleton, said Gage, one evening as we sat 
 lounging together at the play ; I want you to see that 
 fellow in his glory surrounded by all the finest 
 women of New-York, though they know and every 
 body else knows here, that he is a very sad fellow 
 among the women a-sheer profligate. 
 
 Are you serious ? 
 
 Quite. You will hear him declared to be so by all 
 the mothers, and all the daughters of the city. 
 
 Who avoid him of course. 
 
 Avoid him ! pho if he should be there on Friday 
 evening, I would have you watch their behaviour 
 toward him ; it will show you the true character of 
 many of our beautiful widow among the rest. 
 
 Of our beautiful widow I began to feel a mis 
 giving. 
 
 Why sir, you must know that from my boyhood 
 up, I have been reckoned a very exemplary sort of a 
 somebody having the reputation of great wealth 
 (undeservedly I confess) yet being no way remarka 
 ble for the vices of the age. Mr. Amory gave one 
 of her large parties a month or two ago perhaps 
 you were there 1 
 
 No ; I had gone up the North-River. 
 
 Well, I was invited, was unfashionable enough to 
 go before day-break, and received, so long as there 
 was no other young man in the room of more wealth 
 or of a worse character, a .deal of attention To say 
 all in a word, Atherton, dear Atherton was particularly 
 distinguished by every body. So then, said I, inter 
 rupting him, your name is Atherton Gage after all, 
 and not Nehemiah ? 
 
 Yes But let me finish. Now I know of nothing so
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 159 
 
 awful, as being formally introduced to a jury of 
 mothers, who have heard a deal of you, who have 
 been expecting you for a whole hour, and who have, 
 God knows how many daughters on their hands 
 undisposed of sich daughters being seated in a row, 
 all about the room, every two flanking a mother, all 
 with their eyes fixed on the floor, and all, you would 
 suppose holding their breath, as you enter the room. 
 To see the looks that are interchanged as you draw 
 near ! Round you go round the whole room after 
 the man of the house, repeating the names that you 
 hear, but always repeating them so that nobody 
 knows what you say ; bowing always to the wrong 
 person, to Miss Amory, when you are introduced to 
 the mother of ten boys, whom you are desirous of 
 complimenting on her family, or to the mother of ten 
 boys when you are presented to Miss Emily Bibb 
 Tucker. 
 
 A real name, I'd swear 
 
 A real name, you may swear, and then the triumph 
 of the daughters, when the virtuous monster appears, 
 about whom they have heard so much, and the 
 sheepish look of the mothers, who begin to see they 
 have a little overshot the mark, the compassionate 
 drowsy expression of their virtuous eyes, the solemn 
 elevation of their virtuous noses ; for my own part 
 sir, I do not wonder at all that modest men grow des 
 perate, after having once undergone such a trial 
 after having been once in company with libertines 
 before modest women. Why sir, on the night I 
 speak of, Middleton did not appear till it was time 
 for the better sort of people to go ; but from the 
 istant he did appear bless you We modest well-
 
 160 THE DOWN EASTERS, <fcc. &C. 
 
 behaved young fellows, might as well have been at 
 the bottom of the red-sea. Nobody saw us nobody 
 heard us nobody cared for us. We were not treat 
 ed with common decency by the virtuous women ; we 
 might have starved, but for the humanity of the waiters, 
 or commissaries rather, whose instinct seems to lead 
 them on such occasions to those who are particularly 
 virtuous or particularly modest ; to all who, if they 
 were to pop off on the spot with an apoplexy, would 
 never be missed by the people about them, befere 
 they saw the name in the next morning's paper ; to 
 every body male or female who never speaks a loud 
 word in company, nor ever at all, but when spoken 
 to, nor ever then, without laying just three fingers of 
 the left hand flat upon the mouth and fetching a sort 
 of a-hem ! thus a a a-hem ! You smile sir, but 
 what I say is very true ; Mrs. Amory had just put 
 a question to me for the fifth time, which question I 
 had answered four times, and was about to answer a 
 fifth time in precisely the same words, when Gerard 
 
 Middleton entered the room the most notorious 
 
 profligate of New-York Mrs. Amory never heard a 
 syllable of my fifth answer. 
 
 I laughed heartily at the air with which this was 
 said it was so natural, so true. 
 
 I did not much like this, you may be sure, con 
 tinued Gage ; for I knew that I was generally spoken 
 of as amiable, sweet tempered and wholesome ; so 
 very sensible for my age, that it was quite a comfort 
 sometimes to hear me talk, and fitted of course to 
 make any woman happy. But will Gerard Middleton, 
 now, luddy tuddy ! it was directly the reverse. But 
 while everybody said so of me, nobody seemed to.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 161 
 
 believe it, even among the fair who said so to my 
 teeth every one appeared disposed to except her 
 self so much for my virtue I might make any 
 woman happy and welcome if she would let me ; all 
 appeared to believe this, and there the matter ended 
 for any advantage my virtuous character was to me. 
 To be sure, they stuffed me with cake till I could not 
 speak so as to be understood, and scalded me with hot- 
 water till I could hardly see out of my eyes ; and 
 then if I made up to a fine woman, however remarka 
 ble she might be, I found that she only lifted her head 
 for a moment and after seeing who it was, went back 
 to her sweetmeats, or cake or ice-cream, as if she had 
 done all that could reasonably be expected of a virtu- 
 pus woman toward a virtuous man. Flesh and blood ! 
 I have seen such things ! Why sir, the women go 
 before such as me in their dishabille, without a touch 
 of remorse, or a throb of self reproach the dishabille 
 of their minds I mean. But I am all out of breath 
 after a short pause, he returned to the subject. 
 
 I felt rather curious to see how they would bear 
 with Middleton, on the night I alluded to ; and the 
 more, as I myself had heard our dear delightful 
 widow say that he was a young fellow, without either 
 religion or manners, or piety or good-breeding ; I 
 preserve her climax, for I remember it well ; she was 
 puffing me to my face, her dear friend Atherton, for 
 being so superior to most people of my age. But 
 you dont appear to relish what I am saying of the 
 widow. 
 
 Not much to be sure, but still I I should like to 
 know the truth. 
 
 Should you? Well, I admire your courage. 
 02
 
 162 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Go on, if you please 
 
 Well, I have heard her wonder what other womer* 
 could find in him so attractive a mere boy 
 
 Ah, but boys are the devil with women of a certain 
 age. 
 
 For her own part, he was the last person in the 
 world whom she would permit a child of hers to 
 associate with, and so and so she associated with 
 him herself. 
 
 Of me, Mrs. Amory had always spoken in the 
 highest terms, praising me to the skies before Kate 
 and Phoebe, (the first of whom I was dead in love 
 with) ; and yet when I came to see her and them 
 together, I was received with only that kind of atten 
 tion which everybody pays to the feeble and inno- 
 fensive, to the helpless and the contemptible. Once r 
 to be sure, when there were to be only a few maiden 
 ladies of no particular age with her, some of the 
 Bible-Society, who wanted a secretary, and a few 
 teachers of the Sunday-school who were on the look 
 out for help, I had a regular invite for the season, 
 with the run of the parlor and as much cake and tea 
 as I could manage ; but then, whether we met once a 
 week, or once a month, I always had to work hard for 
 my tea, was regarded as the least unfashionable of 
 the set, and generally passed my time at the board, 
 jammed in between two pair of bony hips that never 
 stirred without stirring me^ But then to give the 
 glorious widow her due, if she accedentally ran her 
 head against me at church, I was pretty sure to be 
 ieen by her ; and some times would be favored with 
 a question or two on the way home, if she walked, 
 while I was trotting at her elbow and carrying my
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 163 
 
 umbrella so as to protect her and expose myself; but 
 then she never heard my reply never I will say 
 that for the widow never in all her life, or else, if 
 she did, she certainly had the most unlucky memory ; 
 for at the very next breath, if she spoke at all, it 
 would be to repeat the very same question, probably 
 in the very same words, looking at her tidy feet, or 
 dallying with her own pretty fingers the while 
 
 Ah, what a long breath you drew just then ! 
 
 Did I ! sorry for it. 
 
 Well, everybody spoke of me in the same way. and 
 treated rne in the same way ; everybody praised my 
 virtues, and everybody neglected me. I passed for a 
 young man, God forgive them, wholly superior to the 
 vanities of the day, the world, the flesh and the 
 devil ; wherefore the ladies of a certain age were in the 
 habit of speaking and acting before me t very much 
 as if I were a lady of a certain age myself; and 
 the girls, dear creatures, why, they were as careless 
 and slovenly (I can't bear the word sluttish) in my 
 presence heigho as if I were a wooden youth, or 
 a great lubberly younger brother of their own. After 
 a while, however, a sad story got abroad concerning 
 myself and one of my mother's chamber-maids there 
 was not a word of truth in it, I confess, but so long 
 as it was believed, I did not lack for invitations of 
 that you may be sure ; and if I ? ppeared in company 
 the girls either opened their .eyes at me, or made 
 mouths, or pulled up their slippers, or hid their feet, 
 or would not see me till after they had washed their 
 faces and combed their hair.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 FRIDAY evening arrived, and Gage and I were 
 together at the very place where I had determined 
 never to be again. My ship was ready to sail, but I 
 cared no longer for the ship ; the South-sea voyage 
 lay before me, but I could not bear to think of the 
 south-sea ; I had but one hope hi the world but one 
 desire. I had not been able to sleep for three nights 
 ever since our conversation at the play ; I had put off 
 the hour of going to bed as long as I possibly could; 
 knowing that the night would be a sleepless one, a 
 night of sorrow and fever, and fear and bitter self- 
 reproach, and every night the same till I should be 
 weary and sick of life ; and I had risen morning 
 after morning at a very early hour, because I had 
 found it so, morning after morning ; though every 
 night when I laid my aching head upon the pillow, it 
 was with a determination to be very late on the 
 following day for what else could I do ? Hour after 
 hour, would I lie with my eyes shut, striving to wear 
 away the time, to count myself asleep, to remember 
 the very words that she spoke to me, as we sat side 
 by side on that couch hang that couch the very 
 day before I encountered her dear friend Gage hang, 
 her dear friend Gage endeavouring to persuade my 
 self, though I dared not look at my watch, that I had 
 wasted a goodly portion of the day, while yet it 
 lacked seven or eight hours of noon ; that she did 
 care for me after all, though I had no courage to
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 165 
 
 think of her behaviour when the arrival of Middleton 
 was mentioned, or of the color that flashed up over 
 her pale face when she heard Gage say that we were 
 acquainted. Perhaps, thought I, perhaps Gage may 
 be a rival of mine ; perhaps he may not like her 
 manner toward me, and if so by heaven ! I will see 
 them together ! I wish I could see her alone with 
 Gage or Middleton no matter which it would be 
 easy for me to behave like a man if I know the truth, 
 much as I love her love her ! yes I do love her ! I 
 love her as I never loved any other woman; but so 
 long as I am in doubt, I must behave like a boy I 
 must and will ! 
 
 So, on Friday evening, though the ship was ready 
 for sea, instead of going abroad, I went where I 
 might see the woman I most loved on earth betray 
 her love, not for me, but for another a mere boy. 
 
 She saw me the moment I entered the room, and 
 came up to me, and gave me both her hands before 
 all the company. How was it possible to doubt her 
 after that? She had never looked so well. Her 
 large clear eyes, of a color that no two persons were 
 ever able to agree about, were full of expression, full 
 of subdued beauty, and her black hair massive and 
 black as foliage carved in ebony, was like that of a 
 woman just hurried out of a bath to her own bridal, 
 with hardly time enough to coil up the magnificent 
 profusion of her wet shining tresses. To tell the 
 truth however, the whole truth, I must own that 
 although she gave me both hands with a show of 
 cordiality, which at any other time would have made 
 a fool of me, I was not altogether satisfied by her 
 manner ; it was too eager, too hurried, too anxious-?-*
 
 166 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 
 
 and her eyes were upon the door all the time she was 
 talking to me ; and though she llattered tne to my 
 face with a fine speech, and though I knew it was 
 flattery, and though it is very flattering to know that 
 you are worth flattering, still still my heart mis 
 gave me. I could not breathe as I now breathe, 
 and I could see nothing but eyes all about me, hear 
 nothing but a confused murmur, for the first minute 
 or t.vo after I entered. 
 
 She I do not like to say Mrs. Amory, or the 
 widow, in this part of my story, she was at the head 
 of those who were thought to have a peculiar knack 
 at entertaining company. She had a word for every 
 body, a smile for everybody, and a hand for every 
 body. Sometimes, to be sure, I found that it was the 
 very same word, and that while she was giving her 
 hand to A, she was talking to B, smiling to C, and 
 bowing to D. 
 
 It would not be two much to say that her tongue 
 was never idle, from the first moment I saw her till 
 the very last ; hour after hour was consumed in re 
 peating the same or similar things over and over 
 again to every body she spoke to; and yet she 
 appeared to me over-thoughtful and over-anxious all 
 the first part of the evening. She was called witty, 
 and smart, and showy, and clever (by an Englishman ; 
 pray observe this, for in this country, 1o be clever is 
 to be good-natured, as to be a fine woman here is to 
 be a woman of agreeable manners and pretty good 
 sense, whatever may be her shape, while in England 
 &fine woman is a large, dignified showy woman,) and 
 I cannot deny that she gave out her oranges and
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 167 
 
 repartees, cakes and conundrums, riddles and sweet 
 meats with a deal of propriety and grace. 
 
 And yet, (I will say Mrs. Amory now, for I just 
 begin to remember how she treated me, and have 
 worked myself up to the right humor for telling the 
 truth of her,) Mrs. A. was not very witty, she was 
 only rather so ; her replies were quick, and therefore 
 they passed for repartees ; whatever she said, was 
 said with an air of smartness and fire which took 
 people by surprize, and therefore she appeared to be 
 witty. Her wit however, was only the wit of the 
 toy-shop, the retail-haberdashery of the drawing 
 room, the 'every-day retorts, which are to be met 
 with on every-day conversation cards they could 
 not go wrong, they could easily be invited, and 
 almost anybody might entrap another into saying that 
 which would justify a cut-and-dried repartee ; it was 
 nothing of that high-bred sprightly playfulness of the 
 tongue, that capricious, brilliant coquetry of a superior 
 understanding, the dear delightful nonsense of a happy 
 heart, which when it is natural, is so captivating. No, 
 no, my dear widow it was the common, poor, con 
 ventional wit which people use after having associated 
 long together and got all their good things in com 
 mon a sort of genteel cant of their own, which 
 enables any two of them, if they meet before a 
 stranger, to play off, a certain quantity of rehears 
 ed and prepared lively dialogue as if it were 
 unpremeditated. Reader perhaps you may have 
 seen two weather-beaten old-fellows, who had been 
 at sea together some forty years before, sit and laugh 
 at each others unintelligible joke's " turn about" as 
 they say, for two or three hours together on a stretch ;
 
 168 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 or perhaps you may have met with two broken-down 
 bachelors, on a raw day at a windy corner, and heard 
 them as they stood shivering in their light coats (with 
 the tails blowing over their heads) and plethoric 
 trowsers, holding on by their hats and compliment 
 ing each other on their good looks, till you wondered 
 how they were able to keep their countenances ? If 
 so, you have an idea of what I mean by thorough-bred 
 courtesy and conventional wit. 
 
 So so cried Gage, coming up to me as I stood in 
 a far corner of the room, watching the people about 
 me as if they and I were not of the same earth So, 
 so ! how d'ye do, glad to see you ; I like- your way, 
 you mean to be of our side, I see. 
 
 Of your side how 
 
 You mean to be virtuous and meek ; well, well, it 
 gives you many advantages. They permit us to linger 
 after the rest are gone, to hear what every body has 
 to say of every other body after every other body's 
 back is turned. 
 
 Quere if that would be so agreeable ? 
 
 You are getting serious ! 
 
 No, no I hope not. 
 
 Yes you are so take hold of my arm, and come 
 along with me, and will try to entertain you. 
 
 I took his arm, and we walked away together ; for 
 I knew not how to escape from the misery of my own 
 thought ; I longed to be away on board the ship, or 
 any where at the very bottom of the South-Sea, and 
 yet I had not the courage to move. The woman that 
 held such power over me God knows how and for 
 what purpose, if she did not love me stood a little way 
 off, and my heart died within me, as I saw her color
 
 THE DOWN MASTERS, &-C. &O. 169 
 
 and go, at every knock at the door, and at every 
 step that approached us. 
 
 Why sir, continued Gage, as we drew near to a 
 group of ladies all talking together I have seen our 
 widow ah ! there she is now I have seen her pull 
 that very group to pieces one by one, after they had 
 been prattling together as they are now, for a whole 
 hour ; I have seen her laugh at and mimic the fat 
 mother, who to give the lady her due, is to be sure a 
 terrible eater a a a (mimicking) can't sleep ma'm, 
 can't upon my word after a late supper with you ; 
 very bad health just now, very thankee my dear; 
 another leg o' the chicken, if you please very delicate 
 indeed, I assure you ; really now its quite distressing 
 to see how some people gorge a jelly if you please* 
 ; niy dear ; one would think they were never able to 
 get enough upon my word that cream looks nice, 
 I'll trouble you sir, or that they never got any goodies 
 at home ; with all my heart sir though I never drink 
 wine, your very good health sir ! a bit o' the breast 
 rny dear ; thank you sir for one of the sweet-breads 
 a a I have long had a desire to see how they are got 
 up ; by the by, love there's a cranberry-tart near 
 you much obleeged to you I have known people, 
 and very pretty-behaved people they were too, with 
 such a stomach ! a jelly my dear if you please, they 
 would digest an ostrich thank you iove. 
 
 By this time, we had got into the middle of a mag 
 nificent room which overlooked the North-River; and 
 1 stood there a while, studying the characters about 
 me, as they passed and eddied and whirled hither and 
 thither, like the shadows we see in a camera obscura. 
 It appeared to be crowded with strangers, people
 
 170 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 from abroad, British officers and American officers^ 
 naval and military, here a judge and there a shop 1 - 
 keeper ; on my left a general who walked with his 
 toes in and his head forward, there a legislator unable 
 to express himself in his mother-tongue. Here a fat 
 wealthy West-Indian, with a shape and a complexion 
 so like that of a huge overgrown toad, as to provoke 
 every body that saw her to cry out at the resem 
 blance, there a dear little mahogony daughter with 
 hair blacker than the wing of a raven. The mother 
 you see, is a little tipsy or so hiccup said Gage, 
 and does nothing you see but laugh now and 
 then very oddly and abruptly, at nobody knows 
 what, pull forth a splendid watch with a deliberate 
 flourish, set it, or wind it up, and put it back into her 
 feather-bed, with another flourish, and a sparkle each 
 time that never fails to produce a dead silence, you 
 see, among the ladies about her who have neither 
 watches nor diamonds it absolutely takes their 
 breath away. 
 
 By her side was another large woman, who appear 
 ed very anxious I thought concerning five great 
 gawky girls who sat in a row at her elbow ; and I 
 heard her whisper to one of the five that Mr. some- 
 body-or-other, who was then helping them to a batch 
 of cake, was not to be encouraged, being as she had 
 reason to know, a young man of no property. 
 
 Ah, said I, they are very rich I suppose, and the 
 inother would keep an eye on the cake-bearers. 
 
 Alarmingly so 
 
 How much ? 
 
 Guess. 
 
 Why, fifty thousand dollars each.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &,C. 171 
 
 No five thousand dollars or so, not more. 
 
 Indeed ! 
 
 Among the whole five. 
 
 What airs ! 
 
 Yes for heiresses. 
 
 Who is that pray ? said a neighbor to Mr. Gage,, 
 pointing as he spoke, to a young fellow that stood 
 near, of a noble aspect, with the wisdom and sincerity 
 of a good man so conspicuous in his broad clear fore 
 head, fine mouth, and composed carriage, that no one 
 could have doubted his goodness, it appeared to me 
 at least I could not, after I saw that nobody went 
 near him, except once or twice, to see if he had enough 
 bread-and-butter for the evening. 
 
 That, said Gage with a smile, which I understood, 
 is a Unitarian preacher, a moral man of the North v 
 and a very good fellow he is too.. 
 
 That I am sure of, said I. 
 
 You know the discipline of the college where they 
 are bred perhaps. 
 
 Perhaps I do ; but a look at his plate would be 
 enough to satisfy me ; you may estimate the moral 
 character of every man here, by the degree of atten 
 tion he receives. 
 
 Bitter enough you seem to have little or no use for 
 your plate, I see, and if I were you ah ! 
 
 He stopped in the middle of the sentence, left me, 
 and hurried away to the most extraordinary looking 
 young man I ever saw, with a bright olive com 
 plexion, a perfectly Greek face, and large black eyes. 
 He appeared to be full six feet high, and he wore his. 
 hair parted upon his forehead and falling back over, 
 his shoulders with a slovenly savage air that reminded, 
 ?ne, of something I bad seen before.,
 
 172 THE BOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Pray said I, turning to a neighbour^ can you tell me 
 the name of that person 
 
 A long deep breath at my elbow made me turn the 
 other way. It was my dear, dear Mrs. Amory there 
 she stood ! within a step of me without seeing me, 
 her body bent forward, her hands half-locked in a 
 superb shawl, and her eyes rivetted ay, rivetted on 
 the stranger, who threw up his head with a look of 
 surprize when he saw me. It was Gerard Middleton,. 
 but so altered, so grown, so superior to what he was 
 when we parted on the wharf, that I should have 
 passed him on the high-way without knowing him. 
 
 Oh Mrs. Amory ! said I to myself, when I saw her 
 look, and his carriage toward her. Oh, Mrs. Amory, 
 Mrs. Amory, oh ! High time for you to be off Mr. Fox, 
 and the sooner you are off the better, Mr. Fox, and 
 the sooner you are on your way to the bottom of the 
 South-sea, the better Mr. Fox. Another man would 
 not have waited for this but you are a what am I ? 
 you are a fool Mr. Fox. Very true, said I, Then why 
 don't you go Mr. Fox. Because I am fool enough to 
 desire nothing but her happiness and if I see that 
 he is really dear to her ; if it be in my power to pro 
 mote their union, I will do so, whatever be the sacri 
 fice to me. You are a d d fool, to be sure Mr. Fox ; 
 and here my soliloquy ended much to my relief. Now 
 Middleton was undoubtedly the handsomest man 
 there ; and though I felt ft strong desire to cut his 
 throat, I could not help liking the brave haughty 
 negligence, the proud, happy freedom of his carriage 
 and look, as he stood in the midst of us with every 
 eye upon him, and my tlear widow biting her underlip. 
 at his side.
 
 THB DOWN RASTERS, &C. &C. 173. 
 
 What was to be done? Should I go or should I 
 stay ? Should I run off like a boy, and go a-board 
 the, ship, and behave like a fool for the rest of the 
 voyage ; or should I carry the matter through like a 
 man; stay where I was, and outbrave the proud, 
 woman to her face ? 
 
 Hey ! what ! in a brown study again ? said Gage- 
 Here Middleton ! this way I wish you to be acquaint 
 ed with Mr. Fox. We bowed to each other, OR 
 more properly at each other, and after some talk 
 about, I never knew what, we were intruded upon by 
 a lawyer with a light blue neck-cloth, rings and 
 broaches, a tilter in his walk, and a pretty Avife a 
 fellow nevertheless of extraordinary black-letter erudi 
 tion,, said Gage, who saw me staring at him, with a 
 good heart, a clear head, a genteel temper, and a huge 
 library; quite a character, studies hard, works faith 
 fully at his profession, takes the most comprehensive 
 and profound views of the science 
 
 Of the science of law ! said I, bitterly enough I 
 hope. 
 
 Perhaps you may not call it a science. 
 
 No faith not I, 
 
 Ask any of these gentlemen here. 
 
 All of the bar, I suppose ?. 
 
 Pretty much. 
 
 Excuse me. 
 
 Well sir, as I was a saying. 
 
 He takes the most admirable and comprehensive 
 views of the law. 
 
 In de main sair, said a Frenchman who stood near, 
 but not in de tail. 
 
 And yet, ha, ha, ha ! he wears rings, ruffles, breast 
 P 2
 
 174 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C.. 
 
 pins, and a stock that half-strangles him, the queerest 
 colored cloth in the world for his coat, and gets along 
 the high-way with a sort of a tittupping hitch, as* if 
 he had the spring-halt. In a ball-room, he would pass 
 for a man-milliner, or what is far more contemptible 
 in a state where women are helpless or not allowed to 
 maintain themselves, for a retail shop-keeper. 
 
 I bowed, and several of neighbours hurried away 
 from our party, as he proceeded. 
 
 What say you Mr. Fox ? 
 
 I say as you do Mr. Gage. 
 
 In a court of justice you would take him, if you 
 were too far off to hear what he aaid, for a travelling 
 jeweller, from the North, trying to put off some of 
 his ware upon the judges. Look look ! he is 
 eternally at play with his watch-chain, or wiping the 
 inside of his palms with a linen cambric handkerchief, 
 or pulling his chin, or taking off, wiping, and replacing 
 his gold-mounted spectacles let us go nearer, and 
 you shall hear what they have to say, that group of 
 lawyers you see there, our legislators, our masters ;. 
 our law-makers and our law-interpreters.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 YES sir, said one of the number as we drew near,. 
 But I maintain that the words A. and B. were married 
 on such a day, are sufficiently precise to show that 
 the said A. and B. were, on such a day, made husband 
 and wife. 
 
 Excuse me Judge Blarney. 
 
 And excuse me brother Lyman. 
 
 In every such case, all that we require should be 
 certainty to a common intent,, a reasonable cer 
 tainty. 
 
 Very true, Judge. 
 
 And Lord Coke says that, in pleading, which I 
 regard as analogous, we shall not be required to state 
 things with more certainty than they are capable of. 
 
 Does Lord Coke say that ? 
 
 He dooze indeed 
 
 And, that where pleading tends to infiniteness. 
 
 Well, well Judge ; but how does it appear by the 
 words in question that A. and B. are male and/ewaZe ? 
 And if they are not, Judge I put this to you, with 
 great confidence if they are not ! how can they be 
 man and wife ? 
 
 True brother true, said another lawyer by the 
 name pf Scwall. 
 
 What if you save the point ? said a third. 
 
 And proceeded the speaker, and sir and! if that 
 be the case, and if it be demurrable to for uncertainty 
 sir, as I hold it to.be sir and sir! and! as you
 
 176 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 cannot travel out of the record, sir it appears to me 
 sir, that the words A. and B. sir, were married sir, are 
 not enough to show that A. and B. are entitled to relief 
 as parties to the Bill in question ! 
 
 Well put brother Lyman ! well argued brother 
 Blarney ! cried a little man who stood in the rear of 
 the judge ; nevertheless I submit (looking over the 
 the arm of the judge, and vociferating as if he were on 
 trial, in a matter of life and death,) I submit, I say 
 (The devil you do, cried Gage, who'd a thought it ?) 
 that in addition to the words A. and B. were married 
 the said A. and the said B. I suppose ' 
 
 To be sure 
 
 I assumed that, from my knowledge of the high 
 legal character of our learned brother ; in addition to 
 those words I say, I submit with all due deference, 
 that the word together might have been used, or may 
 hereafter be used a hem ! with propriety. 
 
 So as to read thus, brother Parsons A. and B, 
 were married together hey? said Lyman. 
 
 Precisely, sir, That's the point I would make. 
 
 But how would that show what you are desirous to 
 show ; they may be both men, or both women, and 
 yet both married together. 
 
 Well, to be sure ! and so they might brother Lyman. 
 
 In which case, added another, what if we say that 
 A. married B. or B. A. ? 
 
 Well, and if we do, wjiat then? said the learned 
 brother in the blue cravat; A. may have been a clergy 
 man, a minister, or a magistrate, (vide laws of the colo 
 ny, Re-Co.) 
 
 Re-Co., said I, what does that mean ? 
 
 Revised code
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 177 
 
 Or a notary (vide laws of France, code Napoleon 
 etc. etc.) or a blacksmith, (vide laws of Scotland) in. 
 which case, though A. were to marry B. still B. would 
 not be A's. wife. 
 
 True, true, cried several of the group, nodding to 
 each other all round with a look of admiration. 
 
 Pray brother H. continued the Judge, how 
 
 would it work to say, perhaps you have authorities 
 already on the point 
 
 Brother H. made a very low bow. 
 
 To say, in such a bill, that A. and B. married to 
 gether, in the active sense, you observe not in the 
 passive, brother H. ; not were married together. 
 
 Why, it appears to me, if the court please (a laugh) 
 I beg pardon of the court, (another laugh) I mean to 
 say, Judge Blarney, that we have disposed of that point 
 already, because if people are married at the same 
 time, they are married together, although as we have 
 it in Sir Matthew Hale, and in the great case of Per- 
 rin and Blake, they are not married so as to become 
 legally man and wife ; which I take to be the point in 
 issue. Our bill being intended to shew that A. & B. 
 are in fact husband and wife, we say 
 
 Ah ! ha ! but I have you now, brother H ! we 
 shall adopt your idea, we shall say that A. and B. 
 were made husband and wife. 
 
 Liable to the same objection brother B. for they 
 may be made so, not to each other, but to some other 
 individuals. 
 
 Good God, sir ! cried Gage, is there to be no end of 
 this no way of telling the story on paper. 
 
 ^What if you say that A. and B. were united on such 
 a day together, said I, not knowing what else to say.
 
 178 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &,C. 
 
 Just as bad : for two people may be united together 
 to two different people, and at the same instant, 
 you observe. 
 
 How are we to say it, I beseech you ! said Middle- 
 ton, who began to get interested, in common with 
 every body else, carried away by the earnestness, per 
 plexity, and subtlety of the disputants, who looked to 
 be sure as if they were discussing a matter of life and 
 death to each. 
 
 Why, . . . hesitating . . . why a a 
 
 Tip him a fee Middleton, said Gage in a whisper. 
 
 You might say, continued the lawyer, that on such 
 a day, (naming the day) at such a place, (naming the 
 place,) A. and B. (the said A. and the said B.) were 
 joined together in lawful wedlock viz. the said A. to 
 the said B. 
 
 And why not say they were married to each other, 
 or that they married with each other, or that the man 
 took the woman to wife ? 
 
 Why to be sure but you'll excuse me the law sir, 
 the law requires great nicety in these matters; mere 
 common sense might allow you to say that is that 
 is in short sir, there is no authority on your side 
 
 No authority, sir ! 
 
 None, sir, none in the world sir. 
 
 Why, sir, it is the very language of the classics. 
 The lawyer smiled, and the Judge drew a long breath, 
 which to -my ear, soundedlike the monosyllable pooh ! 
 
 Quere de hoc. Here we parted, I was thunder 
 struck. I had never seen the exceeding efficacy of 
 words before, never seen the mystery of language 
 o delicately obvious. Lord ! how the study of the 
 law, thought I, must enlarge and elevate and sharpen 
 the proud faculties of man.
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C &C. 17 
 
 My reflections were interrupted by a voice near me 
 < Pooh, pooh, love pooh, pooh ! said a large man 
 to his little wife, who hung upon his arm, like a heap 
 of millinery, pooh, pooh love, how you talk 
 
 Ah, but he's proper smart though . . . 
 
 Smart ! a fellow with only one idea in his head. 
 
 One eye, dear! . . how can you say so ! I'm sure 
 lie's got two eyes, dear ! 
 
 Why, mother ! . . . why, ma ! . . . good lord, what 
 a fool you are, love,! 
 
 What for ? . . . did'nt you say he'd got but one eye, 
 dear ? (to the husband.) 
 
 Yes ma, but father meant what you call an idee. 
 
 There now ! . . . that's always with you ; talking 
 about forchune and virtchue, and idee-ahs, how should 
 I know what you mean, if you dont talk like other 
 people ? 
 
 I tell you what, brother Joe, said a sweet girl near 
 me, as we moved away, he may pick and choose 
 among the very women that make mouths at him, and 
 you'll find it so : he may marry any woman here he 
 pleases. 
 
 And who may not, Miss Peggy. The ugliest and 
 the silliest may marry whom they please, may they 
 not, my dear ? added a joker by profession. 
 
 Sister Peggy. I do beseech you to make more use 
 of the relatives, whispered her brother, a tall stiff young 
 man, just away from Harvard for the holidays. You 
 never hear me say that I would marry any body I 
 please 
 
 No, indeed . . . you are not such a fool as that comes 
 to, I hope. 
 But any body whom I please, or that I please.
 
 180 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 Do you mean, said the lawyer, in a blue stock, who 
 had followed us to the spot; pray sir, allow me to ask 
 you drawing out a rose-colored handkerchief, with 
 a low bow and a flourish, and taking off his gold- 
 mounted spectacles, and wiping them very deliberately 
 before he went any further to ask you sir, if you 
 hold a a 
 
 Permit me, interrupted a man whom I heard called 
 master Gray, permit me to observe sir, that the idiom 
 of our language will admit of a . .*". of a sort of a * 
 
 To be sure, that is the very thing sir, I assure you 
 
 sir, that I intended to lay before the to oiler that 
 
 is for the consideration of the 
 
 You'll excuse me / added the grammarian he 
 stood six feet four the idiom of our languageraising 
 his voice as the lawyer tried to raise his, but the tall 
 man having got the start of him by at least eleven 
 inches, the lawyer could never hope to overtake his 
 altitude of our language I 'say sir, and I think I ought 
 to know 
 
 Yes, you ought to know, said somebody near me ; 
 there is no doubt of that 
 
 The idiom of our language I say, will permit us 
 to employ either mode indifferently. 
 
 Oh ! very indifferently ! cried the same voice ; I 
 knew by the very key the very pitch that it belong 
 ed to somebody who had a reputation for wit, so 
 eager, and so sharp, and s decided, and so well-timed 
 for effect was it. 
 
 Every body laughed, and then, after the laugh had 
 continued for a minute or so, every body began to 
 look about for the cause. O ! but it grieved me to 
 hear the laugh that followed every speech and almost
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 181 
 
 '-every word that escaped from the mouth of this man. 
 To see how eagerly he was followed, how he was 
 "waited for, and how they would laugh as if they were 
 ready to die, if he but opened his mouth or pointed 
 his finger. 
 
 I withdrew from the place, and I know flot how long 
 I should have kept away, though the woman of my 
 heart was there and the southerner who appeared to 
 have got possession of hers, but for a strange quiet 
 which caused me to look up ; when I beheld the latter 
 standing near the centre of the room, and literally 
 holding forth, in a low voice to be sure, but loud 
 'enough to fill the air with music, unabashed, unmoved 
 by the stare of a hundred eyes. 
 
 He never talked so well, nor so fluently, nor so 
 eloquently, nor so connectedly before, whispered 
 Gage, who stood near me. And ho is sure to talk 
 best, where no other man would be able to talk at all. 
 No matter where he is, nor how situated, he can bear 
 4he heavy, dead, insupportable silence of a large com* 
 pany, better than any other talker I ever heard. 
 
 He seems to me very sure of being heard with favor. 
 
 Pray, sir, how do you define it ? said a middle-aged 
 young lady, as if she had entered the course for a talk 
 with him. 
 
 I should say, was the reply, though it would be no 
 easy matter to give a definition, that enthusiasm is a 
 sort of moral electricity 
 
 Pooh! said Gage his talking was for talk sake. 
 
 I knew it, I saw it in his air I saw it in every . 
 word he spoke, and yet he carried me away with him 
 at last : he stood so bravely up to the encounter of all 
 the eyes in the room, and poured his heart out with 
 
 Q
 
 182 THE DOWN EASTERS, &,C. &.C. 
 
 such unstudied, earnest, clear simplicity, in such A 
 fine, free colloquial style, with such impassioned sin* 
 cerity ; using with wonderful aptitude the very words 
 that seemed made for their places, and fitted for the 
 expression of a thousand subtle and exquisite mean 
 ings, which became instantly perceptible to me, as he 
 talked and reasoned. 
 
 But while we were gathered about him, his fine bold 
 voice died away, and immediately a pair of large glass 
 doors were thrown open, and all the company poured 
 into the garden, which lay below us like a theatrical 
 show of wood and water. 
 
 Follow me, said Mrs. Amory, tapping Middleton 
 on the arm with a smile which went to my heart. 
 
 He obeyed with a careless lounge, and we followed 
 them to the river side. Ah ! cried Gage, one may 
 look into the lighted water now, like the disembodied 
 among the stars. Look ! upon my word, I can see 
 the fish darting hither and thither like so many flashes 
 of light, through the dim shadowy depth ; and you 
 I hope will stick by us, he added glancing at the plate 
 of the preacher who lingered in the rear ; and as for 
 you (in a whisper to the widow) my notion is that you 
 had better have an eye on that serious-looking pale 
 man. I have been at his elbow this half hour, and you 
 may take my word it, he is not a fellow to be quieted 
 with nuts and gingerbread 
 
 Hush, Atherton hush, he'll hear you 
 
 Nor to be bribed into insignificance by a stray 
 mile, or a great piece of pound-cake. 
 
 We were now at the very edge of the water a largo 
 green spot of well-trodden turf on our right, and a 
 group of old trees on our left.
 
 THE DOWN EA.STERS, &C. &,C. 183 
 
 Now, sir, said Gage, now if you desire to know the 
 real character of the woman who rules you, and would 
 rule every body if she could, with a sceptre of iron 
 twisted about with full blown roses stick to my side- 
 If he does not bring her out, I will what say you 
 yes or no ? will you pitch me into the river, knock 
 me down, or give me the hug of a brother? 
 
 I could not reply my heart was too heavy and my 
 breathing too thick. 
 
 You know, continued he, that your every-day wo 
 men have a knack of be-praising each other, till they 
 provoke you either to laugh at or to contradict them, 
 which contradictions by the by, I never knew a wo 
 man lose her temper about, although the dearest of 
 her "dear five hundred friends" were the sufferer. 
 Now, if you will keep near roe and watch the widow, 
 you shall see her play a game as much superior to 
 that, as that is superior to the bare-faced play of two 
 fish-women, who hate each other and abuse each other 
 by the hour. 
 
 The younger part of the females were now dancing 
 away, every one with her heart in her eyes, much as we 
 might expect from newly-born creatures, never per 
 mitted, save under the most jealous and vigilant guar 
 dianship, to feel the influence of shadow and green 
 ness, or wind and moonlight, or sky and water. 
 Among them was one, who excited a universal mur- 
 rnur of surprise wherever she went. Every eye was 
 upon her every bound and every swing was followed 
 by a leap of the heart among those who stood near 
 me (if they were to be believed) and by correspon 
 dent inclinations of the part of those who were a little 
 further off. They persuaded her to sing, and I should
 
 184 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 say from the little I heard, that somehow or otheiv 
 it was not music, but something better than music 
 the melody of wild birds in the sky it issued I dare 
 say from her benign mouth, bnt it appeared to issue 
 from hei; large dreaming eyes I borrow this idea 
 from Gage, who filled me with poetry before I knew 
 where I was. While we were looking after her, she 
 emerged for a moment from the shade of a drooping 
 willow near us, into the broad light of the moon. 
 
 Gracious God ! breathed somebody at my elbow 
 it was the cry of a heart overburthened with joy, 
 brimful of prayer instantaneously delivered of some 
 bright hope. Gracious God what a face ! 
 
 Now for it, whispered Gage, now for the beautiful 
 widow ! 
 
 Look into the depth of her eyes ! you may see 
 
 her very soul in motion there ! 
 
 That you may ! said the widow 
 
 You may look down as it were into the deep of her 
 heart 
 
 Precisely, said the widow. 
 
 But how is this you do not appear to like her so- 
 much who is she ? 
 
 Not like her! bless your heart, how mistaken you 
 are ! why that is the very girl you have heard me 
 speak so much of 
 
 Not Rosa Moore ! 
 
 The same ; but I see_you like her, and I am so 
 glad ! for do you know, my friend, that there are 
 people, who some how or other, don't appear to like 
 that wild expression of the eye, which to me, and I 
 dare say to you, is the chief charm of her face the; 
 jure poetry of the girl's nature.
 
 THIT DOWN EASTERS, &C. &.C. 185 
 
 I never saw so much poetry in a mortal's face be 
 fore cried Middleton ; nor so much purity. 
 
 Indeed never I 
 
 No, never ! 
 
 Well, I am glad to hear you say so poor thing ! 
 
 Poor thing, widow ! is she so very much to be 
 pitied ? 
 
 Pitied O, no ! what could put such an idea inta 
 your head ; to tell you the truth, she is a prodigious 
 favorite of mine heigho. 
 
 Indeed, as you say, in deed ! 
 
 though for the last year or two I have not been 
 
 able to see poor Rasa, quite so ah, we are over 
 heard 
 
 Well, what if we are 
 
 Some other time if you please 
 
 Nay, nay, my dear widow, if you please ; out with 
 what you have to say, if you mean to impeach he* 
 character 
 
 Impeach her character I- I ! Heaven forbid ! 
 
 But you might as well impeach it, as to say yon 
 have something to tell me about her, which you dare 
 not tell me before a third person 
 
 How you talk ! Hush, hush don't talk so loud 
 all I meant to say was 
 
 No, no, my dear Madam, no whispering here^ if 
 you please. 
 
 Well then the dear girl does look rather toe 
 much like her unfortunate mother ; but a a how 
 do you like her dancing ? 
 
 Beautiful ! beautiful ! 
 
 You do think so, don't you? I knew you would ;: 
 
 and you have no idea how delighted I am to have you 
 Q2
 
 186; THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 on my side. It is beautiful, and they may say what; 
 they please,, now. 
 
 Quite wonderful I think ! 
 So do I ! very wonderful ! 
 Ah, my dear widow ! 
 
 And what if the poor girl (in a soothing coaxing 
 voice) never did learn a step, that only makes it so 
 much the more wonderful, you know 
 
 Here Gage looked at me, in such a way, that I 
 knew not whether to laugh or cry ; and after a word 
 with Middleton which I did not hear, he begged the 
 .widow to say when she would go to^the theatre with, 
 him and his four maiden sisters 
 Whenever you please 
 
 On Friday we have the School for Scandal, the part 
 of Mrs. Candour by perhaps you know the play 
 Perhaps I do, said she, giving him a rap over the 
 head with her fan. What weather ! two nights ago 
 we found a fire comfortable, and now, it is warm 
 enough in the open air to put us all out of breath 
 However to finish what I was going to say about our 
 beloved Rosa I have an idea that heigho. 
 Lord ! how she flashes over the green turf ! 
 
 that if she had a fine ear for music now, it would 
 
 be of great advantage to her in the step 
 Have you, really ! 
 
 She would keep time better of course though, to 
 
 be sure, it would not be so very wonderful as now 
 
 Keep the time better she keep time to the music! 
 
 hang it widow, the music ought to keep time to her, 
 
 Xn-deed ! 
 
 Yes my dear madam in-deed ! 
 And though she did take it up all of her own head, 
 as we say, and rather late in life
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 187 
 
 Rather late in life ? 
 
 Considering her age, I mean ; her poor mother,.as 
 I told you, being a sort of a having a but that's no 
 fault of her's you know, and I would not have our 
 dear sweet Rosa reminded of it, no not for the world 
 
 Tut tut 
 
 Ah ! cried Gage, looking up to the sky, ah ! upon 
 my soul, widow, I can see the rest of the family. 
 
 Oh fye, Mr. Gage. 
 
 Don't stare, widow, I mean the creatures of the blue 
 sky, the angels that keep watch over the pure and 
 good Ah, widow, widow ! the Being that made her 
 must have been less terrible than you believe in your 
 church. 
 
 Why, how you talk Atherton Gage ! how dare you 
 -^-are you not afraid the sky will fall. 
 
 No indeed, not I. 
 
 All very true and very sublime, I dare say, con 
 tinued Mrs. Amory, but, I'll leave it to Mr. Fox 
 would'nt it have been as well for the dear, dear crea 
 ture, to learn a figure with live partners, befoie she 
 threw ofi" with such people as you see there 
 
 Madam, said 1. 
 
 Widow ! said her companion, letting go her arm. 
 
 Sir. 
 
 A word more and I shall hate you continued the 
 latter. 
 
 And so shall I ; whispered Gage. 
 
 In-deed ! why, you know she must have learnt with 
 chairs, for you see that whenever the people change 
 places the poor girl is all at sea 
 Fire and fury ! 
 
 If she would turn her toes out however, I do say,
 
 188 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 and I do not care who hears rne, that Rosa would be 
 a most lovely dancer .... 
 
 Whew ! whew ! whew ! cried Fox, do the wo 
 men up there, (pointing to the sky) do they turn their 
 toes out, think ye ? 
 
 How do I know, said the widow such mysteries 
 are above our knowledge; but 
 
 But if they dance, you will say 
 
 If they do dance, I humbly hope they do not dance 
 parrot-toed. 
 
 Now as -for me, said Middleton, I'd rather see alt 
 the cherubim al work on all-fours parrot-toed, than, 
 beautiful creatures of earth dancing alter the fashion of 
 our day. 
 
 Oh dreadful! 
 
 Why Mr. Middleton ! said somebody else, you are 
 enough to scare every body out o' the room. 
 
 Really, Mr. Middleton, added the fair widow, you 
 make our blood run cold 
 
 I am sorry fop that, my dear widow ; but when 
 I : see people who ought to know better, praising a step 
 in the dance of a pretty girl, not because it is beauti- 
 tiful or graceful, but because it is difficult, I am ah 
 ready to ready for 'sdeath ! it cannot be I 
 
 W r ell, sir, ready for what ? 
 
 Heavens ! how pale you are! cried the widow- 
 Pale ! not I, indeed ! 
 
 But you are pale Gerard^ you are ! whispered Gage 
 and your lip quivers, and I see a fine sweat on your 
 forehead, which my dear fellow ! let us begono f- 
 you are ill very ill, I am sure. 
 
 No, no I am better now, that sweep of the fresh 
 air, and the voice, I don't hear it now do you ?
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 189 
 
 What voice ? 
 
 What voice, my dear Atherton, look at me. 
 
 Gage turned and looked and then throwing up his 
 hands with a remarkable change of countenance, he 
 added in alow voice, madman ! all eyes are upon you! 
 
 Atherton Gage ! I did hear it,, I tell you. 
 
 Hear what ! 
 
 I heard a peculiar note in the uproar just now 
 don't laugh at me I would swear to it on my death 
 bed. 
 
 Nay, nay, Gerard recollect yourself you are de 
 ceived. 
 
 The widow grew very pale now, and her breathing 
 changed, and her eyes wandered away into the sha 
 dow, with a look that made me wish myself on board 
 the ship once more, and once for all. 
 
 How do you like her singing? continued a pretty 
 girl near me, who had not opened her mouth for a. 
 whole hour, and she opened it now, in the hope that 
 Robody would hear what she said just as I have seen 
 a youthful orator, who had made up his heart for a 
 speech, wait and wait^and wait -and stew and 
 wriggle, and wriggle and stew, till the meeting was 
 nearly over, when if a great uproar occurred, enough 
 to encourage him, up he would jump and call on the 
 Moderator Mr. Moderator! Mr. Moderator! Mr. 
 Moderator ! in a big bold voice, which if the Modera 
 tor saw him, or the mob grew still, in the hope of a 
 speech, would end with I beg leave to say, uttered 
 in a hurried far off squeak, that nobody, not even the 
 Moderator could be able to^ trace. 
 
 Very much, said I. 
 
 I did'nt speak to you, said she, putting up he/ lip at
 
 190 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 me, and looking at the hero of the night, as if we all 
 three belonged to the nursery. 
 
 Ah, but if you had been so lucky as to hear the 
 sweet girl sing before she took lessons, you would 
 have liked her still better 1 am sure, said Mrs. Amory. 
 
 Why so 
 
 Ah, she was so natural then I 
 
 But what a fine figure though ! said Gage, touching 
 me with his elbow- 
 
 Very fine, said I very ! Superb ! 
 
 True, said Mrs. Amory that's precisely the word 
 for her superb and yet, would you believe it ? she 
 has not come to her growth yet ; she is only in her 
 fifteenth year 
 
 In-deed ! 
 
 Yes but her mother was very large ; are you par 
 tial to large women, Gerard Mr. Middleton. I mean. 
 
 Large women ! said Middleton no indeed, not I 
 but who said any thing about large women or fat 
 women? She is what Mr. Fox calls her, a superb- 
 looking girl 
 
 And so she is, and I quite agree with you ; a superb 
 woman for a ride on horse-back, for the head of a 
 table, for a walk on the battery* or a walk in the ballr 
 room, though not perhaps petite enough altogether, 
 for a dance a tea-table, or a fire-side, or a nursery. 
 
 There, there! that'll do ah ! what is that but a 
 
 step, I should like to knojv ! as pretty a rigadoon as 
 ever I saw in my life. 
 
 And so it is I declare ! and see too how near she ia 
 to the music, now only a little too fast, a very little 
 dear Rosa ! 
 
 She a little fast, no my dear widow the music's a 
 little too slow, whenever they do not move together.. 

 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &-C. &C. 191 
 
 *There again ! cried Gage, the sound appears to 
 <come tip out of the earth where her foot falls, very 
 much as if it waited for the step ; and her voice too 
 Lord, Lord! what a voice to be sure! Would you 
 have such a voice whimpering a lullaby over a heap 
 of blue and white yarn ; with the toe of such a foot 
 as you see there, on the tip-end of a cradle-rocker? 
 Why, it sounds like a like a a nest of canary-birds, 
 in a hawthorn bush, pure Italian coming up by star 
 light from the deep sea where now Gerard ? 
 
 Mr. Middleton ! Mr. Middleton ? what's the mat 
 ter ! what ails you ! stop, I beseech you ! 
 
 Madam 
 
 Before you go that way, a word with you, and with 
 our two friends here 
 
 With me ! said the haughty southerner. 
 
 With me, said I, and my heart was in my throat* 
 
 Why, Middleton ! how agitated you are ! cried 
 Gage. 
 
 Woman woman! are you playing tricks with 
 me again ! 
 
 Middleton Gerard Middleton, hear me recollect 
 yourself, I beseech you. 
 
 Woman ! repeated he, in a low voice, woman I 
 feel a dread here my heart misgives me you know 
 the story you know the whole of it, I never asked 
 you how ; but you have heard my oath, and I should 
 hope look at me I hear a voice-^-you know what I 
 mean. 
 
 I do you have heard the voice of a broken-hearted 
 gifl ; a girl that should have been your wife, Gerard 
 Middleton, years ago, though you are still a boy 
 
 Here's a to-do I thought I here's a blow up ! hang
 
 192 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 
 
 me, if I don't believe I shall suffer the ship to go sefc 
 without me, after all ! 
 
 My wife ! she my wife ! a half-breed of the Creeks* 
 
 And what are you, but a half-breed ? 
 
 Madam ! say what you have to say, and let me go : 
 I have not come here to be insulted : my birth is pure 
 - my blood is pure, though I may be somewhat 
 darker than your babies of the north. 
 
 You loved her, did you not ? 
 
 I did. 
 
 You married her too, did you not, according to the 
 laws of her tribe ? 
 
 And what if I did? 
 
 Ah ! you blush ! 
 
 And what if I do ? 
 
 It gives me hope, it gives me courage. That wo 
 man is now here. She is not so dark as I am will 
 you see her I beseech you to see her ! 
 
 And why should I see her ! You do not hope 
 surely, surely, you do not hope that I would marry a 
 woman with a drop of indian-blood in her veins ! I 
 loved her, and I love her yet I love her too much to 
 risk her with my kindred but you do not believe 
 me 
 
 No sir, I do not 
 
 Well, then, hear the truth. I would not put my 
 hand into hers now, I would not kiss her forehead 
 now, for all the wealth of-America. Had you known 
 me, you would never have dared to say what you 
 have now said were she a white woman, I tell you, 
 were she from among the proudest of our proud white 
 women, I would not marry her now. You have an 
 idea that because I love, because I have acknowledg-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 193 
 
 eel to you that I never should cease to love her; 
 because I would drain my heart here, hefore your 
 face, to make her happy, you believe I would be 
 wretch enough to marry her 
 
 No sir, not to marry her, but to acknowledge her. 
 "We know that she is your wife now, your lawful 
 wife arid a wife that you or any other man might be 
 proud of 
 
 You do not know all. 
 
 I do, I do; I know that you deserted her, that after 
 she knew our law, you refused to marry her by that 
 law, and that you left her a prey to the white men 
 
 If you knew all all you would not speak as you 
 now do to me. 
 
 I know enough to justify me in saying that she de 
 serves you, and that she loves you so much that you 
 will be the death of her, and that ah ! where is 
 your courage now ! 
 
 God be merciful to you ! I feel that she is near me ! 
 Speak to her ! speak to her I conjure you! let her 
 not see me ! 
 
 Something approached here : and he folded his 
 arms and waited for it with his eyes fixed upon the 
 arth; and after a few moments two females drew 
 near, one a little in advance oC the other in a black 
 satin dress that glittered *^d shivered as if her very 
 soul were escaping from her body. She saw Middle- 
 ton, and stopped short on her way, and held out both 
 her hands out he would not see her, and I had only 
 time to observe, by a side view of her face and the 
 turn of her neck, that she was very beautiful and 
 rather fair, with little or nothing to show that she 
 had the impure drop in her blood. 
 R
 
 194 THE DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 
 
 Madam, said Middleton, to the widow, in a voice 
 that I should not have known, so altered was it /do 
 not shrink norquail, you perceive. She does. Now 
 is your time to save her go to her go to her if you 
 have any mercy ; tell her that I forgive her, she will 
 know what you mean; but say that so help me God ! 
 I will never touch her hand again, while I breathe 
 the breath of life ! She has made a devil of me ! and 
 wo to her, and wo to you ! if you do not check her 
 now that she is about crossing my path ! 
 
 Let us go ! said a voice, which appeared farther off, 
 as if it came from her companion. There is no hope. 
 I have made the trial, I have done my duty, and now, 
 he is yours I have done with him forever. His fate 
 is in your hands do with him what you will. I told 
 you how it would be. Let us go. 
 
 I stared with astonishment, and was satisfied that 
 the speech issued, not from the lips of the girl I saw, 
 but from the other. That is no Indian, said I to Gage, 
 as we walked away. 
 
 You are mistaken she is a fourth breed. 
 
 How so ? 
 
 Come this way Her grand-father was a Spaniard; 
 
 her grand-mother q native Creek ; she is a quadroon, 
 therefore; she was brought up among the Creeks: 
 and there he met with her f-Ul five years ago. They 
 were married, and they were ^ppy, for he did not 
 know until they had beea_married a few weeks, that 
 her blood was not pure 
 
 Not pure ! 
 
 No ; and as they were married, not according to 
 our law, he told her that she should never be hig 
 wife his real wife ; and forsook her ; and his father
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 195 
 
 sent him to college to complete his education : There ! 
 you know the whole story now poor fellow, I pity 
 him ; he'll never marry another, and he cannot marry 
 her by the laws of Georgia. 
 
 D n the laws of Georgia ! 
 
 So I say ; for she's a noble creature. 
 
 And he ! what is he ! 
 
 He ! oh, he is of the blood-royal of the south. 
 
 By the Gods, if I knew her, I would offer myself t<x 
 her 
 
 Would you really! 
 
 Yes, I would ! 
 
 Are you aware of the consequences ? 
 
 Perfectly : if it were known to the whites of our 
 free and equal community, she and I both, and our 
 children's children would be pointed at and scoffed at, 
 for the marriage. And yet, were we to cross the sea, 
 and take refuge in Europe, I should be greeted by 
 princes for the sake of my wife, and she would be the 
 equal of their proudest women.
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 NOT a wink of sleep did I get for the whole night, 
 after the scene I have described. I was too happy 
 my heart was too full; but then, to be sure, I had no 
 need of sleep. I could bear to be awake now, for my 
 mouth was no longer parched by my breathing, nor 
 my blood heavy with a heaviness which no mortal 
 could bear, without feeling that if it continued, he 
 would soon have no business on earth. Ah, thought 
 I, as I lay hour after hour with my eyes shut and the 
 window curtains drawn Ah ! what a noble creature 
 it is! How unjust I have been! how I have wrcnged 
 her admirable heart! and how meekly she lias borne 
 the outrage! And what if she is a little given to 
 coquetry, who cares? And what if she is a little 
 absent in her speech ? And what if she does a little 
 overdo the character of a religious woman, that she 
 may keep well with society, and get rid of her two 
 daughters? Why should you blame, her Mr. Fox? 
 I'sn't she a mother? Mr. Fox, and if she should ever 
 
 become your gulp, Mr. Fox wouldn't that be so 
 
 much the better for you Mr. Fox ? Talk of her bad 
 faith too, toward other wrunen ! Why, what a fool 
 you are, 'Mr. Fox! and what a knave you are Mr. 
 Fox, when, if either of you had half an eye, you 
 would see that she takes a very sincere pleasure in 
 the society of the young and beautiful of of of her 
 own sex. And of our sex too, I should have added-
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 197 
 
 at any other time, but now I was too happy. And 
 what if she ah, a knock who's there? 
 
 A boy from the ship, sir 
 
 Well what does he want, sir? 
 
 He wants to see you 
 
 Open the door; what do you want my lad ? 
 
 Want you sir. 
 
 Me! 
 
 If you please; we're only waitin' for you ; anchor's 
 
 weighed sir ; fair a wind as ever blowed 
 
 Give my compliments to captain Goff, and tell him 
 I have had no sleep for a week, that I can't think of 
 a trip to the south-sea, before I have had a nap, and 
 that if the wind keeps fair, I shall try to be aboard in 
 the course of the day. 
 
 May be you'll write as much to the cap'n that's 
 rather a tough message for him, jess when the ship is 
 ready for sea. 
 
 D the ship ! 
 
 You'll excuse me sir, but we never hear nobody 
 damn the ship, and it's my private opinion sir. 
 
 You rascal ! if you dare to shake your head at me, 
 
 I'll odds bobbs ! I'll beat you to death 
 
 Ah, you're abed now, an' so I've only to say that 
 if you don't go aboard the boat now, you'll never go 
 aboard the ship for we're tired o' waitin' for you. 
 
 Be off, you dog you!- 
 
 Very well sir 
 
 What are you laughing at? 
 
 Your things are aboard, you knowT 
 
 D n the things ! 
 
 Very well sir, good by'e sir a pleasant voyage to 
 you sir ; you'll find your things on the wharf. 
 R2
 
 198 THE DOWN EASTERS, <fcc. &CV 
 
 On the wharf! 
 
 Ay sir ; cap'n Goff told us to take them up 
 us in the jolly-boat, and if you did'nt see proper to 
 be ready for this wind, to leave 'em on the wharf, and 
 wish you a pleasant voyage in the wake o' the widder 
 Amory. 
 
 I could bear this no longer. To be jested with 
 about the widow Amory by the captain of a ship 
 the messenger a cabin boy, was a little too bad. Out 
 I jumped, with a full determination to pitch the rascal 
 through the window ; but he slipped off, and I heard 
 him laughing outside of the door, which he flung in 
 my face, and all the way down stairs. I had half a 
 mind to follow him in my shirt. 
 
 However I was now out of bed, Jupiter be 
 praised, though but for him (the boy I mean) I should 
 have whiled away another hour in that place of all 
 places for a man half mad with love ; and being up, 
 I had the courage to stay up, though I was never 
 addicted to air-baths, and to occupy a full hour in 
 getting my clothes on. Before I was rigged for the 
 day, another messenger arrivetl, with a note from the 
 dear, dear widow, calling me her dear dear friend, 
 and praying me to give her a call about five, and to 
 bring with me some book, to justify me for calling at 
 such an hour of the day. 
 
 Ah, ha ! said I to myself, now we are coming to it; 
 our widow is in the trap,~4he very trap she laid for 
 us ! now query, whether to give her a little trout 
 play before we let her feel the hook or not? So 
 much for perseverance faint heart never won fair 
 lady d n the ship ! 
 
 As the clock struck five, on that memorable day-r-
 
 DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &C. 199 
 
 the happiest day of my life, the knocker sounded 
 with a double rap (such as the postmen of England 
 give) at No. Broadway; and the next moment I 
 was on a sofa by the side of the beautiful widow. I 
 have sent for you, said she, that I may explain to you 
 the cause of Avhat you saw here last evening. The 
 truth is heigho and here she faltered, and some 
 how or other, I got hold of her hand again it was 
 like a live bird in my grasp and in short I was very 
 happy, so happy I declare, that if she had proposed 
 to pledge me in a glass of laudanum, I would have 
 pledged her, and gone to sleep forever at her side. 
 What I say will appear strange I know, but I cannot 
 help it. I' say nothing but the truth. Most men 
 would not like to die at such a time, I dare say ; but 
 as for me I did not care half so much for life as 
 for companionship everlasting companionship. My 
 doubts were gone she loved me, even as I loved her, 
 and though she did not actually promise marriage, I 
 knew by the brilliant moisture in her eyes, and by 
 the swelling of her heart, and by the changes of color, 
 that I should prevail one day or other ; and so, as I 
 have said before, I was happy. 
 
 Well before we parted, she told me the story of 
 the Indian girl. It wore another shape now ; she had 
 been so well educated as to be able to teach in- a sort 
 of missionary-school ; her mother was only a half 
 breed, her father a white man, so that she had 
 little or no impure blood in her veins. Middleton 
 had met with her first in the neighbourhood of a 
 plantation that his father had on the very outskirts of 
 Georgia. He fell in love with her and she with him, 
 and so they were separated. His father sent him to
 
 200 THE DOWN EASTERS, dtc. fcc. 
 
 college, and her mother took her into the wilderness, 
 where she taught her to avoid the pale man. But the 
 boy grew tired of the north, and after many years t 
 they met again at a lodge in the creek territory, and 
 there, the mother being dead and the father away, 
 the boy and the girl were married he with no 
 thought of treachery, for he loved her ; she in the 
 deep seriousness of Indian faith. After they had 
 been married a few weeks, a missionary fell in the 
 way of thjjfrpoor bride while her young husband was 
 out in search of his father, and persuaded her that 
 she was living as the bad women rK Scripture lived 
 ages and ages ago, as the pure of heart and proud of 
 soul should not live. The Indian wife grew sorrow 
 ful, and having satisfied herself that by the law of 
 the young white man's tribe she was not a wife, she 
 met him on his way back, and before she would suffer 
 him to lay his mouth to her forehead, being so taught 
 by the missionary at her elbow, she demanded of her 
 boy-husband to be acknowledged by the law of his 
 tribe, even as he had been acknowledged by the law 
 of her tribe. At any other time, it may be, for the 
 boy loved her so much that he grew serious it may 
 be that he would have done all that she prayed for 
 but now now, while the prompter stood at her elbow,, 
 and appeared to glory in the power of the church, 
 the boy said no. A week passed over, and still he 
 said no another week, and he and his wife were 
 apart forever, he mad with jealousy, she stung to the 
 heart, believing the boy to be even what the missiona 
 ry told her he was, a betrayer. But she was a proud 
 girl and her spirit awoke when the boy deserted her ;
 
 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &C. 201 
 
 and she prayed the missionary to tell her how she 
 might be worthy, as worthy as the proud white wo 
 men were, of such love as the proud white men bore 
 toward such as they made their wives by the law. 
 He told her how to be what the white women are, he 
 educated her, and his wife trained her to the church, 
 and they took her away to the sea shore such is 
 her story. 
 
 But he deceived her, and deceived her at a time 
 when she needed all the consolation of hope and 
 faith and charity, for she was beathing the very air 
 that her husband breathed, and hearing every day 
 that he was leading a life which would separate them 
 forever. She inquired of the church, and they told 
 her with their hands on the bible and with tears in 
 their eyes, that if she could not reclaim the boy to 
 the path of truth, virtue, or in other words to the 
 true faith, he would be miserable, and she happy, in 
 their future life, that both would be apart, forever and 
 ever. I will save him ! said she I will save -him, 
 or and she stopped, and her voice died away, and she 
 spoke not another word until the interview was 
 arranged that I saw by the river side. 
 
 But who was that other female with her ? 
 
 I do not know I never saw her face till she flung 
 aside her veil and stood before him with outstretched 
 arms. 
 
 What ! was not she that came forward, that pale, 
 slender creature, the Indian wife you are speaking of? 
 
 No, indeed she was a stranger to me ; I never saw 
 her before. 
 
 Indeed! there is some mystery about this matter;
 
 202 THE DOWN EASTERS, &C. &,C. 
 
 I should like to have some talk with Mr. Middleton 
 about her. 
 
 Not for for your life, my dear friend I am sure he 
 did not see her, and even I, intimate as we are, would 
 not mention the subject to him for the world. 
 
 After a little further conversation, I found that the 
 interview was planned by the dear creature at my el 
 bow, the very woman that we had so cruelly judged 
 the night before. Upon my word, when I thought of 
 the conversation that Gage and I held together about 
 her, and of the dreadful n isgiving I had when I 
 saw her studying the eyes of Middleton, I was ready to 
 go down on my knees before her, and bury my head 
 in her lap and beg her pardon. However, to make 
 all sure, I said to her as I got up to go 
 
 My dear Laura 
 
 Well Peter ! said she. 
 
 JB 
 
 Peter! Oh that unfortunate name of mine ! I have 
 kept it back as long as I could it has been the death 
 of me. 
 
 I wish I knew exactly what your feelings are to 
 ward that young man 
 
 Gerard Middleton, you mean. Oh, I look upon 
 him as a sort of child poor fellow ! he has very few 
 friends in this part of the world, very few, and he re 
 gards me in the light of a mother 
 
 Indeed ! 
 
 Oh, yes ! I often speak_of my three children ; the 
 truth is, I love the poor boy very much. 
 
 And I love you the more ! cried I, for having the 
 courage to tell me so. 
 
 I cannot give him up. You'll not requirp thnt?
 
 THE DOWN EASTBRS, &C. &.C. 203 
 
 Give him up ! No indeed poor fellow, I pity him 
 &s much as you do, and for your sake I will do any 
 thing to serve him. 
 
 Do you love me, Peter? 
 
 God ! how I do love you ! said I, and then I kissed 
 her mouth and her eyes, with a feeling of such pure 
 and innocent joy, as I know it is not in the nature of 
 a bad man to feel. Laura I added Laura ! look at 
 me, I beseech you, while I say that I have such con 
 fidence in you, that if you were my wife 
 
 Her head fell on my shoulder . . . heigho ! 
 
 My wife, dear, and I had to go to the ends of the 
 earth, I should leave you with such a fixed faith in 
 your loyalty, that nothing would be able to raise a 
 doubt or a feur in my mind, save the avowal of un- 
 worthiness from your own lips. 
 
 She wept; I could feel the tears trickle over my 
 hand. 
 
 If it should be so, if you should ever be my wife, 
 you shall not have to reproach me with a lacjk of con 
 fidence in you for if there be truth in the heart of 
 man, love, I would trust you any where on earth 
 
 And well you might ! 
 
 With any body on earth . . . 
 
 Here she kissed me, and my heart threw a somerset 
 
 Ay, and strange as it may look to you, were you 
 my wife now, now while I speak to you, I would give 
 you up to another man, if I saw that I could not make 
 you happy, and that that he could, or if I knew 
 that you loved him better than you loved me. 
 
 Ah! smiling through her tears, and shaking her 
 head ah my dear, dear Peter.
 
 204 THB DOWN EASTERS, &.C. &.C. 
 
 I could do so, Laura, for I have done so. 
 
 I believe you ; and here she kissed me and clung to 
 me, as if ah ! as if we had loved each other, and 
 each other alone, up from our very childhood. 
 
 But enough enough the catastrophe drew near, 
 and I I could neither eat nor sleep for joy ; I passed 
 half my time with her. I saw her every day of my 
 life and every day I loved her more and more ; I 
 forgot her age, I forgot her widowhood I forgot 
 every thing but her love and her ready-made family, 
 and the hour that was to make me, not a bridegroom 
 for a day, but a bridegroom for life. 
 
 About a week before the consummation of our mar 
 riage that was to be, my dear Laura grew so affection 
 ate that I was afraid to trust myself with her. And 
 one morning as we sat on the deep couch together 
 -cooing and billing very much as I am afraid other 
 people do, when they have a good opportunity, in 
 spite of their mothers and the preachers, and thestory- 
 tooks, I played off the hero in such a way, that my 
 dear, dear Laura, burst into tears, and called me a 
 godlike man. 
 
 I tried to get away, but her overpowering love and 
 gratitude held me, till we heard a knock at the door, 
 when she darted out of the room, saying with a sweet 
 smile a smile, that I am afraid, will haunt me to 
 my death-bed, that she would be with me, after the 
 Tisiter, whoever he migh-t be, was chaired, and that I 
 must not be alarmed again, as I had been once before 
 if she spoke to me on entering the room, just as if I 
 had not seen her before during the day. I agreed to 
 ihis, for I love propriety in every possible shape
 
 THE DOWN EASTER8, &.C. &.C. 205 
 
 hough not very fond of trick. By the time she 
 was out of one door, a stranger entered another. 
 It was Middleton he turned very pale when he saw 
 me, though I supposed he knew every thing: and 
 more pale, after I told him in reply to a direct enquiry 
 on his part, that I had sen the widow, and that 
 *he had hurried away but a few moments before* 
 I waited until she made her appearance, gave her my 
 hand in a hurry, to show that I was not afraid to leave 
 her in such company, bowed to Middleton, and left 
 her. 
 
 The next day I received a letter from her, just as I 
 was going out of the door toward her house. I do not 
 give in the passages that follow, the very words of her 
 letter word for word simply because it contained 
 a. request that I would return it, which I did, and the 
 passages that follow are gh-en from memory. They 
 are few but they are enough to show the character 
 of the woman. 
 
 " I have deceived you and every body else. I 
 loved Gerard Middleton a year and a half before I 
 knew you : I love him still, and I have given him 
 every proof of 1 jve I ever gave you, and more yet I 
 aim not altogether bad. 
 
 I love him still better than any other man. 1 
 
 hope you will hate me 1 esteem and admire 
 
 you 1 shall never see you again, if I can help it 
 
 never alone certainly. He knows every thing, and 
 
 regards me as he ought; I did intend to see you both 
 together, to explain myself to both, and to hear from 
 
 you both how you scorn and loathe me. Do not 
 
 <?all I shall not see you, I have all confidence in you 
 
 it is impossible to have more, but 1 cannot suffer 
 
 s
 
 206 THE DOWN EASTERS, dec. StC. 
 
 you to keep this terrible letter, for fear of accidents. 
 I hope you will write and say just what you think of 
 my behaviour, you need not be afraid to say any thing 
 
 to me. But oh! I do not speak for myself oh, 
 
 my poor children ! You need not fear that I will 
 
 do any thing desperate I promise you I will not 
 when you next hear of me, I shall be more worthy ot~ 
 your good opinion." 
 
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