a 
 
 A
 
 •) t* 
 
 M 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 AT LOS ANGELES 
 
 . v
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 A STORY OF 
 
 ENGLISH COUNTRY LIFE. 
 
 UY 
 
 FRANCIS FRANCIS. 
 
 WITH 
 
 Illustrations &n 3mlt 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 i • 
 
 -- 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS, 
 SUCCESSORS TO HENRY COLBURN, 
 
 13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET. 
 
 1859. 
 
 Vie right of Translation is reserved.
 
 LONDON : 
 R. BORN. PRINTER, GLOUCESTER STREET, PARK STREET, 
 
 regent's PARK. 
 
 ... . . 
 
 ...» » •
 
 Ly 
 
 PI 
 
 4 
 
 1 
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 
 \ 
 
 PREPARATORY, AND SHOWING HOW MR. NEWTON 
 DOGVANE FIRST IMBIBED A TASTE FOR FIELD 
 SPORTS. 
 
 A long preface is like a long grace ; it 
 
 keeps you from your meat, while the viands 
 
 \ grow cold, the vegetables indigestible, and 
 
 \ the sauces lumpy. Who Mr. Newton Dog- 
 
 $ vane was, can be explained in a few words — 
 
 he was the son of his father ; and the whole 
 
 city, as well as Mr. Dogvane, junior, knew at 
 
 least what his father was. Dogvane, the elder, 
 
 was a successful drysalter, who had begun life 
 
 upon small means, but by dint of minding his 
 
 own business, and looking more after his own 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 affairs than those of his neighbours, he had 
 managed to get together a decent amount of 
 worldly goods, and was generally reported to 
 be a safe man ; a man whose word was as 
 good as his bond — and that is no light meed 
 of praise in these degenerate times. Mr. 
 Dogvane never speculated out of his business, 
 and not very largely in it. He had married 
 early an estimable woman, and that one word 
 describes her better than a page of eulogy. 
 
 Mr. Newton Dogvane, to whose exploits we 
 shall more particularly direct our attention, 
 had commenced his education at a commercial 
 academy in the neighbourhood of Highgate ; 
 and his early experience in the wild sports of 
 the North, South, East, and AVcst of London, 
 had been confined to the capturing of tittle- 
 huts in the ponds between Highgate and 
 Hampstead, and the demolishing of confiding 
 wrens and robins with a horse-pistol tied to a 
 Btick. The said weapon, having been acquired 
 at a vbs\ outlay of pocket-money, was kept,
 
 m:\yton DOGYANE. 
 
 under vows of inviolable secresy, by the head 
 gardener, who was incited thereto by sundry 
 bribes of sixpences and shillings, bestowed by 
 the youthful Newton on the functionary who 
 held the above post under the Rev. Jabez 
 Whackstern, instructor of youth, and keeper 
 of the academy aforesaid. 
 
 Oh ! those half-holidays, when Newton and 
 his fidus Achates, a lad named Bowers, fami 
 liarly known as Ted, were wont to sally forth 
 I with the piece of ordnance carefully concealed 
 under their jackets, and a penn'orth of Curtis 
 and Harvey's double extra fine-grained (they 
 wouldn't have had it out of any other canister 
 upon any consideration), and half a pound of 
 No. 7's, with an old copy-book for loadings ! 
 The way in which they examined the outlets, 
 like merchantmen about to break through a 
 blockade, to see that " That Old Sneakum," 
 the usher, was out of the way, and then the 
 painfully easy and unconstrained manner in 
 which they sidled, or rather melted away 
 
 B 2
 
 4 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 through the gate ! — or were, mayhap, met 
 out of bounds by the awful Whackstern him- 
 self, and sent back to pass the afternoon of 
 promised enjoyment in the dreary and for- 
 saken school-room, transcribing a swinging 
 " Impo " — the one with a stick, rudely fa- 
 shioned like a gun-stock, and the other with 
 the horse-pistol, (loaded possibly), stivffed up 
 the backs of their jackets. The shifts they 
 were put to at tea-time, and at prayers, to 
 keep the contraband articles out of sight, 
 until they could return them to the gardener! 
 These were things to be remembered. 
 
 But when their precautions proved suc- 
 cessful, and they got out without being seen, 
 then, to watch the gravity of their proceed- 
 ings ! When safe in the fields, how the horse- 
 pistol and the deputy stock were drawn from 
 their hiding-place, and connected, secundum 
 artem, with string! Now the process of 
 Loading, with a charge large enough for three 
 pistols, \\:i> gone through; and "a bird in
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 5 
 
 the hand is worth two in the bush," perchance 
 was torn from the commercial-practical copy- 
 book, and rammed well home ; and the strine 
 fastened to the trigger — Newton being the 
 bearer of the weapon, and Ted captain of the 
 gun — and the game being a-foot, a robin, 
 wren, or possibly a noble hedge-sparrow was 
 spied ; how r they stole forward, step by step, 
 with the caution of lied Indians on a scalp 
 hunt, lest the game should take wing and 
 baffle the attack, ere they could get within the 
 prescribed range (two yards and under); and 
 when at length all was ready, and Newton 
 had taken deadly and deliberate aim at the 
 unconscious warbler for the space of two 
 minutes, and the word was passed to " pull 
 away," and the result was a snick, or a flash 
 in the pan — what hammering of the unlucky 
 flint ensued, while the bird flew away to 
 another hedge some twenty yards off, and a 
 new trail had to be struck. Or, when the 
 victim fell pierced with a No. 7, and, being
 
 6 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 only winged, had to be scrambled for amongst 
 the brambles and thorns, and Avas finally 
 pouched — what songs of triumph were sung 
 as it was borne away, to be picked in the bed- 
 room at midnight; the feathers, &c. (though 
 the i)v, were on one occasion left in, the game 
 being by mistake cooked wookcock-fashion) 
 were collected and disposed of, and the 
 remains — some quarter of an ounce of man- 
 gled flesh — were scientifically cooked, on pen- 
 knifes, over surreptitious candles and lucifers 
 obtained by the ever-ready Ted at the all-sorts 
 shop. What a delicious feast they held! 
 Albeit to the unbiassed taste the flavour of 
 tallow and smoke would have been evident — 
 but never mind, the penny jam-turnovers and 
 the ginger-beer went a great way ; and they 
 envied not the Doctor his hot snack and port- 
 negus, nor the wretched "Sneakum," that 
 mosl miserable of ushers, his "little snack" 
 dry bread, high flavoured Dutch, and about 
 half a pint of curiously thin ale. Poor fellow!
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 7 
 
 Yes, indeed, those were days to be remem- 
 bered for many a long year to come; and so 
 was that holiday, when on llampstead Heath 
 they rode races on the gallant donkey of the 
 north, or, mayhap, the fiery pony of the heath, 
 exacting their six-pennyworth of donkey or 
 pony flesh, like youthful Shylocks, to the last 
 grain, and enacting the White Horse of the 
 Peppers, or the Wild Huntsman of the Hartz, 
 as set forth in a terrific weekly publication, 
 comprising an exciting woodcut and sixteen 
 columns of terror for one penny. — Who does 
 not remember that awful print, with its 
 Murder-holes — pirates who boiled their vic- 
 tims in oil — highwaymen and scoundrels of 
 every phase, who shone forth therein, amidst 
 all their deeds of blood and villainy, as so 
 many heroes, whom a mean illiberal system, 
 called Law, had suddenly cut off in the very 
 midst of their noble and gallant exploits? 
 Who hasn't waked at midnight with stiffened 
 hair and perspiring limbs from horrible dreams
 
 8 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 resulting from that agreeable publication, and 
 heavy scrap-pie (misnamed beefsteak), apples, 
 and gingerbread combined? But time has given 
 all this its accustomed shading and softening 
 long since ; and not only so, but has even 
 hallowed these recollections, until we say with 
 delight, "Ah! those were the days ! " Who 
 doubts it ? Those were the days ! And 
 many an old man, as Avell as he of middle 
 age, will echo, " Those were the days ! " 
 
 " Oh happy years ! Once more, who would not be a 
 hoy!"
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 SHOWS HOW NEWTON PROGRESSES IN THE ARTS OF 
 VENERY, &C. 
 
 We will not follow up this portion of the 
 history of Newton's boyish days — that would 
 be at once tedious and unnecessary. Suffice it 
 to say, that in due time the pistol was dis- 
 covered, and Newton and Ted sent to their 
 friends. The gardener was dismissed, and 
 the pistol was promoted to the office of guar- 
 dian of the Doctor's strong box, while NeAvton 
 was promoted to his father's counting-house. 
 But, true to its bent, the "twig" would at 
 times steal forth on sporting excursions, and 
 the roach and gudgeon of the New River, and
 
 10 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 the finches of Clapham, became the objects of 
 Newton's solicitude. Newton had accumu- 
 lated, by dint of saving, a sum sufficient in 
 his own mind to purchase a gun which he had 
 seen labelled 14 & 6 in the New-cut, and 
 hanging on the outside of a shop kept by a 
 highly-preserved child of Judah, with the 
 needful accompaniments. For in that shop — 
 the ''cynosure of neighbouring sporting eyes" 
 — were stored choice articles of every descrip- 
 tion, to aid the experienced or inexperienced 
 sportsman in his destruction of the ferce 
 naturcB of his native land and elsewhere. 
 Guns were there, double and single; rilles 
 were there, and tremendous things for boar 
 destroying, and other still more tremendous 
 things for elephant and rhinoceros smashing, 
 upon the principles laid down by the acconi- 
 plished Mr. GordoD Gumming; and powdcr- 
 homs were there, pouches and shot-belts; 
 likewise fishing-rods, for bottom-fishing, lor 
 fly-fishing, for trolling, and spinning, and long
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 11 
 
 canes like barbers' poles for the river Lea, 
 and of salmon-rods a store, creels and landing- 
 nets, too, and gaff-hooks, and leisters, and eel- 
 spears, otter-spears, with dog-chains, badger- 
 tongs, rabbit-hutches, cat-traps and rat-traps, 
 stoat, and weasel, and raole-traps, greyhound- 
 slips and couples, with leading-strings, &c, &c. ? 
 — not forgetting the whips, spurs, bits, bats, 
 stumps, balls, boxing-gloves, dumb-bells, foils 
 and masks, fives-bats and racquets, toxopho- 
 lite tools, and targets, and so on — anything, 
 everything, — a complete sportsman's cheap 
 arcana, all labelled and ticketed at the lowest 
 possible remunerating price, as per placard, 
 and vet all to be had at a considerable reduction 
 by an experienced chapman ; for the Israelite, 
 though he spoileth the unwary Egyptian, will 
 rather spoil him of the smallest known sum, 
 than not at all — so pleasant and alluring is 
 the chink of precious metal to the ear of the 
 child of Israel. 
 
 Mo. Shecabs was the name of the proprietor
 
 12 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 of all these treasures, and Mo. Shecabs stood 
 at the door of his dwelling smoking a cheroot 
 — for he was an aristocrat in his way — and 
 waiting to take in any customers that chance 
 might send him. 
 
 Enter Newton, bent on securing fourteen and 
 sixpenny worth of imminent clanger. 
 
 Newton loquitur. What's the price of that 
 rusty gun, Mister ? 
 
 Mo. (indignans). Rus(y ! s'help me ! Vat 
 d'ye mean ? that 'ere Joe Manton ! There 
 ain't a spec on it. I vas offered a pound for 
 that, last veek. 
 
 Newton. Why did'nt you sell it? 
 
 Mo. (never disconcerted). 'Cos I vas a fool. 
 Fourteen and sixh the prish ish. Firsht-rate 
 killer. Mishtare Caps shot his shelebrated 
 match at a undred pigeons with that gun. 
 
 Newton. Did lie kill 'em all? 
 
 Mo. Kill 'cm all! In course he did. 
 
 Newton. Did he though ! Then what did 
 he ever part with it for ?
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 13 
 
 Mo. Vot does anyone ever part with any- 
 tliink for? they doesn't give 'em away, I 
 suppose. 
 
 Newton. I s'pose not. You don't, anyhow, 
 asking fourteen and six for that thing. I'll 
 give you ten. 
 
 Mo. S'help me, young man, you'd better co 
 home and study rithmetic, with the prish of 
 old iron, house rents, good vills, and fixters. 
 Wots to become o' my family ? I can't sacri- 
 fice things. 
 
 Newton, (turning away). Oh ! very well. 
 
 Mo. (anxiously). Here shtop a bit now. I 
 tell you vat I'll do, I'll knock off shixpence. 
 
 Newton, (sarcastically). You don't mean 
 it ! What'll become of your family, if you go 
 on sacrificing things in this way ? No, no — 
 there's Zeb Levy's got a better one for twelve. 
 (Going.) 
 
 Mo. (detaining him). But vat d'ye vant ? 
 -Vat d'ye vant ? you vouldn't ave me rob my- 
 self ! Take this powder-horn and this shot-
 
 14 NEWTON DOGYAXE. 
 
 belt now for a pound. That'll do now — take 
 'em away afore I alters my mind. 
 
 Newton. Fifteen, for the lot. 
 
 Much chaffering and loud vociferation on 
 the part of Mo. ensued, who vowed that he 
 was giving things away every day — ruining 
 himself and beggaring his family by his 
 philanthropy and liberality — by dint of 
 which Mo. screws Newton up to offer another 
 shilling. 
 
 Mo. Say seventeen, and take 'em away. 
 
 Newton. Sixteen shillings. 
 
 Mo. Oh! I can't do it. Its no use. (He 
 enters the shop, smoking violently, and Kewton 
 walks sloioly to Zeb Levy's ; as he stops, how- 
 ever, and is on ///c point of being collared and 
 dragged into a deal by that gentleman, he 
 is toitched by a sheriff-officer-Uke tap on the 
 
 should, /'. ) 
 
 Mo. There now ; you'd petter come and 
 fetch them things away, cos my boy aint at 
 home, and I can't scud 'em,
 
 NEWTON 1)00 VANE. 15 
 
 Accordingly, Newton went back, after a 
 little interchange of compliments had taken 
 place between the rival dealers. The money- 
 was paid, and the articles borne away in 
 triumph, Mo. a little disgusted at not having 
 made more than 60 per cent, by the deal. 
 
 There was a wail of cats in the back garden 
 of Newton's father's house at Brixton, that 
 evening. Newton's papa and mamma having 
 gone out to play a rubber at a friend's house, 
 Newton could not rest till he had tried his 
 treasure ; in consequence of which there was 
 a great picking out of leaden pellets 
 with darning needles in Brixton the next 
 morning, and several old ladies threatened 
 proceedings against Mr. Dogvane, sen., for 
 damage done to their favourite tabbies — albeit 
 Newton was, of course, truly unconscious as to 
 who the party could have been who was be- 
 hind the offending gun, said to have been let 
 off in Mr. Dogvane's back garden on the 
 evening in question. Great execution did
 
 16 NEWTON DOGVANE 
 
 Newton, during the ensuing winter, amongst 
 the blackbirds and finches of Norwood and 
 that ilk ; and once, happening upon a duck, 
 which was reposing in a small pond near the 
 Battersea fields, he poached and pouched it, 
 and got clear away from the farmer, after a 
 stiff run, bringing home his quarry, which he 
 proclaimed to be wild because it had a curly 
 feather in the tail, that being the distinction, 
 so some one had once told him, between wild 
 and tame ; although it turned out not only 
 tame but tough — a venerable mallard who 
 had seen six broods of his own begetting swim 
 safely on the surface of the very pond where 
 he at length met an untimely end.
 
 17 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 A DAY ON THE THAMES. 
 
 Mr. Dogvane, sen., was addicted to Thames 
 angling from a punt. Folks who have walked 
 pleasantly chatting, after a Star and Garter 
 dinner, on a warm summer evening, through 
 the meadows by the river side, may have seen 
 a moderately plethoric gentleman seated in an 
 arm-chair in a punt. In mid-stream the punt 
 is moored. It bristles with rods, all of which 
 are evidently fishing for themselves, for the 
 stout gentleman is fast asleep, with a hand- 
 kerchief over his head — the picture of comfort 
 and contentment. An empty pie-dish is near, 
 on which reclines the head of an attendant 
 vol. i. c
 
 18 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 fisherman, equally somnolent with the party 
 in the chair, around which porter bottles are 
 grouped skilfully ; and symptoms of tobacco, 
 in the shape of various pipes, may be observed 
 about the punt. All is peace and tranquillity. 
 Suddenly a blue-bottle of inquiring mind 
 perches on the ruby nose of the sleeping 
 beauty in the chair. The blue-bottle proceeds 
 upon a voyage of discovery, up the nose to 
 the eyebrows — nothing worthy of remark in 
 that direction. Back again — Hallo ! Two 
 spacious caverns ! Now, as a member of the 
 luue-bottle Archaeological Society, here is a 
 phenomenon to be enquired into. So first he 
 cautiously pi >kes his head round the corner, then 
 carefully advances his forelegs towards the 
 mouth of one of the caves, when — a-tishew ! — 
 the rash archaeologist finds himself blown a 
 yard into the air, amidst a perfect cloud of 
 spray. In other words, the sleeper sneezes 
 and wakes. That is Mr. Dogvane, or his 
 pattern; he wakes up, and seizes one of the
 
 NEWTON DOG YANK. 19 
 
 rods ; kicks the recumbent figure, who strug- 
 gles into a sitting posture ; and they forth- 
 with make desperate efforts to catch fish — 
 sometimes they do, but more often they don't. 
 All this may be seen on any fine summer 
 evening at Richmond, Twickenham, and on to 
 Windsor, or even beyond. And, this w T as 
 the sort of thing Mr. Dogvane was much 
 addicted to. It was his idea of sport. 
 
 " Newton, my lad," said the worthy gentle- 
 man, one day, " I'm going down to Richmond 
 with Tomkins, to-morrow, to fish. If you can 
 get up in time, you may go with us ; so be 
 ready by six o'clock, my boy." 
 
 And wasn't Newton up at six ? or rather, 
 wasn't he awake at three, or half past ? And 
 didn't he roll, and tumble, and toss to and fro 
 in his narrow bed ? Didn't he get up to peep 
 out into the morning, to see what sort of a day 
 it was likely to be ? And when, an hour or 
 two later, it looked cloudy and warm, Newton 
 prophesied good sport, and tried to sleep again. 
 
 c2
 
 20 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Five o'clock. — Newton couldn't lie in bed 
 any longer, so he dressed himself in haste, 
 in order to be quite ready in time; and 
 being, of course, three quarters of an hour too 
 soon, he fidgetted and fussed about, alter- 
 nately looking out of window and looking up 
 his tackle,. Six o'clock came, at last, after 
 many hours of (to him) tardy delay. A 
 hasty breakfast was swallowed by Newton, 
 and a more deliberate and substantial one on 
 the part of the governor ; and they were, in 
 good time, on their way to the station to 
 catch the first train. 
 
 "Now, then, New., have you got the 
 gentles?" asked his sire. 
 
 " All right, father," said Newton, displaying 
 a large bag of lively and loathsome carrions. 
 
 It might be all right to the Dogvanes ; but 
 it was all wrong to the rest of the passengers, 
 who were not sufficiently ardent admirers of 
 fishing to be greatly in love with the scent of 
 carrion-gentles. Accordingly, when they had
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 21 
 
 all taken their places, remarks as to smells, 
 &c. began to be made. 
 
 " Very extraordinary smell," said a whey- 
 faced gentleman who sat opposite to Mr. Dog- 
 vane. "Don't you perceive it, sir?" 
 
 "I think I do," answered Mr. Dogvane; 
 "Lambeth bone-and-gas works, I suppose." 
 They were passing Lambeth. "Very bad, 
 indeed ! Wonder the Sanitary Commissioners 
 don't interfere. Worst place in London." 
 
 "/smelt it before we came to Lambeth," 
 quoth a mild little niim, Avho sat in one of the 
 corners, and was muffled in a cloak. 
 
 "Did you? Ah! Wind sets down the 
 line, I suppose. Wonderful nuisance!" said 
 Mr. Dogvane. 
 
 "A-h'urra!" coughed the whey-faced gen- 
 tleman from behind a pocket-handkerchief. 
 But they passed Lambeth and even Vauxhall, 
 and still the smell continued. In fact, it 
 grew worse; the gentles, impatient of con- 
 finement, in spite of all Newton's precautions,
 
 22 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 began oozing through the bag and crawling 
 on the floor. 
 
 "Ahem!" said the little man in the cloak, 
 fixing Mr. Dogvane with his eye. " Wind 
 can't set two ways at once." 
 
 " I apprehend not, sir, I apprehend not," 
 said Mr. Dogvane, pugnaciously. 
 
 "I've seen it do so in marine paintings, 
 though," answered the little man. " I've seen 
 ships sailing one way, and flags blowing another, 
 often. I remember, in the prize cartoon . ." 
 
 " Dear me ! " said one of the passengers, 
 just as the train was leaving Putney, "what 
 is that ? and that ? and that ? They look like 
 maggots." 
 
 "Can't 1)0," said Mr. Dogvane. "Why, 
 I do declare, they do look like gentles." As 
 if, under the circumstances, a gentle was the 
 most unlikely thing in the world. But it 
 wrould'nt do. The eyes of the little man and 
 the whey-laced gentleman were upon him and 
 upon the fishing tackle.
 
 NEWTON DOGVAM.. 23 
 
 " Gentles, and no mistake — for ground bait, 
 I presume. The wind blows half a dozen 
 ways, I think," said the little man, with a 
 quiet smile. But the whey-faced gentleman 
 was extremely wroth, and, bristling up, said, 
 "You don't mean to say, sir, that you have 
 presumed to bring a sack of live maggots into 
 the train amongst-a-a-Christians? Guard, stop 
 the train ! Here's a sack of maggots crawling 
 all over us ! Stop the train instantly, 1 
 insist ! " They were going about thirty 
 miles an hour, and the whey-faced man, 
 seeing that his remonstrances were unheeded, 
 and receiving a hot cinder in his eye from 
 the engine, drew in his head rapidly, and, 
 bursting with indignation, whisked his legs 
 and feet up on to the seat, out of the w r ay of 
 the gentles, and sat doubled up like a live 
 capital N. Then ensued defiances and 
 snortings, with talkings at each other, and 
 " Can't think how people can presume to," and 
 " Can't think how other people calling them-
 
 24 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 selves," &c. &c. But it ended in smoke, and 
 the whey-faced individual got out at Mort- 
 lake ; Mr. Dogvane wished him good morning 
 with sarcastic politeness ; and before he had 
 clone explaining his grievance to the station- 
 master, the train was at Richmond. 
 
 Mr. Tomkins had gone to Richmond over- 
 night, to have all in readiness. Accordingly, 
 they were rowed up to a punt which was 
 pitched opposite the Duke of Buccleugk's 
 lawn. And Newton found himself, for the 
 first time, bent on endeavouring to inveigle 
 from the bosom of Old Father Thames his 
 scaly favourites. 
 
 The morning was fresh and cool, for the 
 sun had hardly gained its power. The grass 
 was emerald green; trees waved and rustled; 
 birds sung; the scenery, to a smoke-dried 
 Londoner, or indeed to anyone else, was 
 beautiful. The fishermen predicted, as Thames 
 fishermen always do, a fabulous take of 
 fish.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 25 
 
 First, the depth was plumbed, and the 
 floats fixed at the requisite elevation. Then 
 the mysterious process called ground-baiting 
 was gone through as follows. The carrions 
 were cast into a filthy tub, and mixed together 
 with bran. Then portions of the mixture 
 were kneaded up with lumps of clay, the size 
 of oranges, and the loathsome dumplings were 
 cast into the water for the delectation of the 
 fishes. Then two gentles were stuck upon 
 each hook, and, all being ready, the sport 
 commenced. 
 
 Anxiety and gravity sat upon the counte- 
 nances of Messrs. Dogvane and Tomkins, such 
 as befitted so weighty and all-engrossing an 
 occupation. The tackle was dropped into 
 the water, and allowed to swim unrestrained 
 down the stream, as far as the rod and line 
 would allow. Then there was a short, sharp 
 strike, and it was brought back to the side ot 
 the punt ; and the same thing was done over 
 and over again, on the part of the performers,
 
 26 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 with unwearied patience and little variation, 
 many thousand times in the course of the 
 day. 
 
 It did not look very difficult to Newton. 
 But, "Ah! sir," as old punt-fishers Avill say, 
 " it isn't a thing to be learnt in a day." But 
 what Avill not genius and the force of imita- 
 tion effect ? Ere long, Newton was hammer- 
 ing away at it as energetically as his seniors. 
 
 " Bite ? " asked Mr. Dogvane of his 
 friend. 
 
 Tomkins pursed his lips, and shook his 
 head slowly and suspiciously, looking through 
 the water at the end of the swim, as if he 
 could distinguish the culprit who had so 
 narrowly escaped, and as if he Avarned 
 him that he'd better not, as he said, "come 
 it too often." 
 
 Presently Newton struck, and pulled up a 
 diminutive roach of some two-ounce weight. 
 
 "Here's the stockdolloger," said the fisher- 
 man.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 27 
 
 "Bravo, New.!" said his father. " First 
 fish," he continued, looking at Mr. Tomkins, 
 who nodded approvingly, as if to say, " He'll 
 do." 
 
 Shortly after, Newton pulled up another, a 
 little larger, and then another, a little larger 
 still ; and yet neither Mr. Dogvane's nor Mr. 
 Tomkins's superior skill could compass the 
 capture of a fish. 
 
 " Hem ! ha ! " coughed Tomkins. " Ground- 
 bait here!" and two or three balls of "the 
 mixture as before" were thrown in on Mr. 
 TVs side, without producing any material 
 alteration in the sport. 
 
 " It's singular," remarked Mr. Tomkins, 
 "how the fish will at times run all one 
 way." There was a dab at Newton's float. 
 Newton struck, and had hold of something 
 heavy. Great excitement all through the 
 punt — with numerous directions to " Ease 
 him " and "Check him;" to "Take care of 
 that punt-pole;" to "Let him run," and
 
 28 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Now pull him m " — till Newton, panting 
 with excitement, led into the landing-net a 
 monster barbel of three-quarters of a pound 
 ■weight, or thereabouts. 
 
 "Hem!" coughed his father. "Ground- 
 bait here ! " But groundbait here, or ground- 
 bait there, made no difference. Newton beat 
 them both hollow. The elders fumed and 
 broke their tackle in very vexation, when 
 they did strike a good fish ; and the fisher- 
 man grinned behind a quart pot — for the day 
 grew warm, and beer became desirable. The 
 fish went off, as it is called, and not only went 
 off, but didn't come on again. There was " a 
 weather, or a wind, or a water, somewhere or 
 other," according to the fisherman, which pre- 
 vented their biting; although hundred-weights 
 had been caught in that very pitch last week, 
 and tons would be caught next. After this, 
 there was a good deal of eating, drinking, and 
 smoking; at length Mr. Tomkins and Mr. 
 Dogvane fell asleep, and Newton, having been
 
 NEWTON DOGVANK. 29 
 
 awake since three o'clock, fell asleep too. 
 Finally the fisherman, having eaten every thing 
 there was to be eaten, drank all the beer there 
 was to be drunk, and smoked all the available 
 tobacco, fell asleep also — and the sparrows 
 came and ate up the carrion-gentles and other 
 baits provided for the fishes. And Newton 
 was not very much taken with this specimen 
 of Thames fishing, though, in after years, when 
 he became an adept in spinning, trolling, 
 paternostering, ledgering, fly-fishing, &c, he 
 enjoyed many a pleasant day upon its crystal 
 wave.
 
 30 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 A DAY WITn THE SHORT TAILS. 
 
 11 1 say, Dogvane, come clown and have a day's 
 shooting along with me at Groundslow, on 
 Thursday ; I've got a day's ferretiug there, 
 and we'll make up a party. There's Waggle- 
 tail, theclockmaker in George St., has promised 
 to go ; and I'll drive you down in my pony- 
 cart. It isn't above fourteen miles ; and we'll 
 have a leg of mutton at the Bold Dragoon 
 afterwards ; and there'll be one or two in to 
 dinner, and I think we may make out a jolly 
 day of it. Old Bung — and, mind you, he's a 
 ruin fellow, is Bung — will make one, so now 
 what d'ye say ?" 
 
 .Mi'. Tomkins had just popped into Mr.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 31 
 
 Dogvane's office to utter the above invitation. 
 Mr. Dogvane was busily occupied, adding 976 
 sides of bacon to 1134 sides of bacon, "and 
 eleven's 21, — twenty-one hundred and ten. 
 Quite correct. Thank ye; you see, I'm no 
 shooter, Tomkins ; never let off a piece in my 
 life, excepting once, I give you my honour, 
 and that was when I was a boy, sir. I did let 
 off a fowling-piece then, and under very 
 peculiar circumstances. I remember well ; it 
 was a flint- an d-steel, and it snicked a great 
 many times, and I hammered the flint, sir, 
 with a penny piece, sir, and still it would not 
 discharge itself; until, at length, thinking 
 more effectively to accomplish my object, I 
 — ah, hammered it with the back of my knife. 
 Somehow, it struck a light, and, at the most 
 unexpected interval, ahem! off went the piece, 
 and as if — ah — what they call " endued with 
 vitality," she sprung out of my hands, and 
 vomited forth her contents at the same 
 moment. The contents, sir, of the piece,
 
 32 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 struck the earth at some distance off, and 
 rebounded into a blacksmith's shop, several of 
 the shots perforating the behinder portion of 
 the blacksmith's waistcoat and small clothes, as 
 he was at work, sir. There was a row 
 upon the part of that blacksmith ; and, 
 thinking I had committed manslaughter, I 
 left the piece where she lay, and, taking 
 to my heels, ran away. I had, sir, to pay 
 the owner of that piece nineteen shillings 
 and threppence ha'penny for the loss of it ; 
 and it took all the pocket-money I had 
 hoarded up for some time to do so, as I never 
 had the courage to go and ask the blacksmith 
 for it; for, on making enquiries secretly, I 
 heard that his wife was daily employed in ex- 
 tracting the shots with a needle, and that she 
 had already picked out nearly a thimbleful. I 
 need not tell you that I did not become a 
 shooter after that." 
 
 "But T thought I'd seen a gun at your 
 house?"
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 33 
 
 " Yes, yes — my son's — my son's. I believe 
 he is a keen hand — a very keen hand — goes 
 out all round Battersea, and everywhere, 
 almost. Brought home a duck the other day 
 — mild. Ha, ha!" and he poked Tomkins in 
 the ribs. 
 
 " No ! ' said Tomkins, appreciating some 
 joke, with a chuckle. 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "No." 
 
 " Yes." (Another dig in the ribs.) " Wild ! 
 ha, ha, ha !" 
 
 " Ho, ho, ho." 
 
 " Such a tough old feller ! caught him on a 
 pond, sir, shot him, grabbed him, and was 
 marching off in triumph, when out came the 
 farmer, and away bolted our New." 
 
 "And got clear off, duck and all?" 
 
 " Got clear off, duck and all." 
 
 "Well, that's good, and we'll have 
 him on Thursday, anyhoAv ; and you'll 
 come ? " 
 
 vol. i. D
 
 34 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " No, no ; take him, if you like ; I'm not 
 fond of guns, or gunning." 
 
 " Very well, then, so be it. By the way, 
 then, he'd better take a shake down at my 
 house the night before, as we shall start pretty 
 early, and Brixton's a deal out of the way." 
 
 " Very good; please yourself, and, no doubt, 
 my boy will be satisfied. Only, I say, old 
 fellow," and Mr. Dogvane shook his head seri- 
 ously, "no nonsense, you know, after din- 
 ner. No stoking it into the young un ! It 
 you don't bring him home all square and right, 
 mind, you'll have to fight the battle out with 
 the missus. Not that you'd find it very easy, 
 cither, for he's a good lad, and not easily per- 
 suaded to take more than is good for him. 
 He's like me, likes it little and good." 
 
 " No, no — you may rely upon me." 
 
 " Very well, then it's settled," and, nodding 
 shortly, lie was once more immersed in hams 
 and other dried goods. 
 
 "Mr. Spoodle."
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 35 
 
 " Sir," said a clerk, of solemn aspect and 
 starched appearance, approaching from the 
 office. " Sir." 
 
 "Has Mr. Newton been here to-day?" 
 
 "Mr. Newton, sir, has just stepped down 
 to Porpus and Gallon's, about those tongues, 
 sir." 
 
 " Oh, ah ! so he is. — very good — good lad," 
 he murmured to himself, "looks to business, 
 let me know when he comes in." 
 
 "Yes, sir," and the clerk disappeared. 
 
 "Looks to business, though he'll have no need 
 to follow it as I have. No need whatever, I 
 hope. Yet there's no harm in his getting a 
 little touch of business habits, and a sufficient 
 knowledge of things, not to make a fool of 
 himself in money matters. Yes. Ileigho ! I 
 get almost tired of this, and long for a change, 
 ever since that day, last year, with Judkins." 
 
 Mr. Judkins was a retired friend of Mr. 
 Dogvane's, with whom he formerly dealt 
 largely, and Mr. Judkins had got a very nice 
 
 d 2
 
 36 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 little place on the Thames, with an acre or two 
 of land, a pig, and a cow. Mr. Dogvane had, 
 on invitation, gone down one Saturday morn- 
 ing, and come back on the ensuing Monday 
 evening, and what with the looking at the 
 cow, and the pig, and the spangled Polands ; 
 and what with the new milk, and the sylla- 
 bub, and the new-laid eggs, which Mr. Dog- 
 vane assisted in robbing the mothers of; and 
 what with a capital day's fishing, during which 
 Messrs. Judkins and Dogvane captured nume- 
 rous barbel and bream — Mr. Dogvane taking 
 a barbel, weight seven pounds and nine ounces, 
 which procured him the largest barbel prize, 
 (a bronze double-extra-check superfine-finished 
 winch) at his club, and over which day's fish- 
 ing there was no trouble at all, the rods 
 being lifted at once off sundry pegs in the 
 hall, where they were kept always prepared 
 and in order, and conveyed down the garden 
 to the punt, which was lying properly pro- 
 visioned &C. &C, at the steps ; and what
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 37 
 
 with the nice little bit of salmon from a friend 
 of Judkins's, still in business, and which was 
 dropped by the down bus, that passed the 
 door every evening ; and what with a re- 
 markably nice fore-quarter of lamb, and some 
 very tender ducklings, with freshly-picked 
 peas and beans culled by Judkins and Dogvane 
 themselves ; and what with some remarkably 
 fine, dry old port, and after that some uncom- 
 monly fine, dry old cigars, and the least drop in 
 the world of cold pale-brandy and water, out 
 under the verandah, with the moon twinkling 
 on the rippling river, on the warm summer's 
 night, and the sweet-smelling creepers over 
 the verandah, with the flitting moth and bat ; 
 in fact, what with good sport, the best of eat- 
 ing, drinking, and sleeping, pure country air, 
 and an appetite, such as he seldom found in 
 town, and the society of an old chum, Mr. 
 Dogvane managed to enjoy himself so much, 
 that he very often found himself thinking over 
 it, and longing for another turn, and fancying
 
 38 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 that lie really had a great predilection for the 
 country, and how nice it would be to have 
 such a place of his own to ask Mr. So-and-so 
 down to. 
 
 He little thought how many long after- 
 noons poor old Judkins had practised patience 
 (but nothing else) in a punt, in that very 
 swim, in which, by the greatest fluke in the 
 world, Mr. Dogvane happened, on this particu- 
 lar day, to get some good sport. 
 
 He little knew the domestic and private 
 history of that cow, that garden, those span- 
 gled Polands ; or the worries and vexations 
 poor old Judkins had had to endure with them. 
 Well, well, perhaps it was as well he did not ; 
 or much of this history would have remained 
 unwritten. 
 
 Having indulged his short fit of musing, 
 which, by the way, never lasted long enough 
 with Mr. Dogvane to interfere with business, 
 lie fell to work again, and calculated the pro- 
 lit to be derived from so many hundreds of
 
 M,\VTON DOG \ AM.. 39 
 
 aeats tongues; and lie was slowly rubbing his 
 hands with satisfaction, when his son en- 
 tered. 
 
 A well-made, smart-looking youngster, was 
 our friend Newton, lie was, perhaps, a trifle 
 leggy — youths of seventeen often are — hut 
 his figure promised well, when it should he- 
 come more filled out and set. He had curly 
 light-brown hair, a high temple, and a bright, 
 frank hlue eye, which looked you in the face 
 without blinking. He entered, and deposited 
 a cheque upon his father's desk. 
 
 " Porpus and Gallon. One — six — five — 
 nineteen," he said, as he delivered it. 
 
 " Right," said his father, referring to his 
 ledger ; " and, now, I think I'll just run round 
 to the Slate, and have my chop. By the 
 way, New., Tomkins has been here, and asked 
 you to go shooting rabbits with him, at 
 Groundslow, on Thursday, and I've ac- 
 cepted the invite for you, and you're to sleep 
 at his house over-night, so as to be ready to
 
 40 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 start ill the morning. So polish up your mus- 
 ket, my boy, and go and have a day's pleasure. 
 Though, what pleasure it can be to go letting 
 off a gun, which jumps out of your halids, and 
 shoots blacksmiths, whether you will or no, I 
 can't see. But, never mind. Take care you 
 don't shoot any blacksmith ; and, I say, New., 
 if you should fall in with my wild ducks, take 
 care that they ain't tough old mallards, and 
 that the farmer don't see you. Kek! kek! kek! 
 chuckled the old gentleman. This was always 
 a standing joke of his against Newton. 
 
 Newton coloured a trifle, but laughed off 
 the joke. He appeared, however, much 
 pleased with the prospect .afforded of a day's 
 rabbiting ; and a rabbit, in his eyes, forth- 
 with became an object of sport and desire, 
 scarcely second to a stag of ten points. 
 
 " And now, I'll be off," and taking liis 
 hat, gloves, and umbrella, he continued, while 
 investing himself with these necessaries: — 
 " Aii'l if Charkin's clerk calls, say, we can't do
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 41 
 
 it. — It's not our way of doing business. — Don't 
 like Charkins — speculates too much; besides, 
 he's got some paper about, and has been Hy- 
 ing kites, this while since. And I'll just look 
 into Leadenhall Market too, and see if I can 
 pick up a good cheap turkey for Sunday, 
 while I am about it. None of your wild ducks, 
 you know," and, with a further wink at his 
 son, he departed. 
 
 No sooner was his father out of sight, than 
 Newton, seizing the poker from amongst the 
 fire-irons, put it to his shoulder like a gun, and 
 said " bang " sundry times, which was sup- 
 posed to be indicative of killing rabbits ; and 
 having disposed of an imaginary bunny in 
 three corners of the room, was just dealing 
 a shadowy death, with a loud " bang," upon 
 one in the fourth, when Mr. Spoodle entered, 
 and stood transfixed with amazement on seeing 
 the occupation of his young master. 
 
 Relinquishing the deadly weapon somewhat 
 sheepishly, and without pretending to oifer
 
 42 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 any explanation, Newton slipped into his 
 father's chair, proceeded to transact the little 
 matter of business which Mr. Spoodle had 
 come in upon, as aptly and clearly as the 
 governor himself could have done. 
 
 Wednesday evening found Newton at the 
 hospitable quarters of Mr. Tomkins, at 
 Bayswater; and after a latish dinner, Mr. 
 Waggletail looked in for a cigar and a game 
 of cribbage. 
 
 Waggletail was a sort of evidence of per- 
 petual motion ; he was never still for three 
 seconds together. When he walked, he 
 walked straight ahead, with quick, short, 
 fussy steps, which seemed to say : " Get out 
 of my way ; I'm walking right through the 
 world for a wager." His brows were always 
 slightly knit, and his look downcast, as if he 
 were pondering over the affairs of the state, 
 instead of, like the jolly young waterman, 
 "thinking of nothing at all." 
 
 He talked quickly, interminably, and impor-
 
 NEWTON DOC YAM.. 43 
 
 taiitly ; and when he thought lie had said any- 
 thing to the point, he gave a short cough, 
 "ahem." You had but to wind him up, like one 
 of his own clocks, by some remark, no matter 
 what (he had always something to say on every 
 subject, whether he knew anything of it or 
 not), and then set that tonguey pendulum of 
 his going, and no mill-wheel that ever clacked 
 could keep pace with him. He was, this 
 evening, very great upon shooting, though he 
 knew nothing whatever about it. He had 
 bought a cheap Brummagem-double at a sale, 
 a lew weeks before, and was mighty acute in 
 demonstrating all its advantages aud beauties^ 
 and he looked with an eye of slight disdain on 
 Newton's poker. 
 
 What a filling of shot-pouches and powder- 
 flasks there was ! and what a selection of caps 
 and waddings ! what anticipations of great 
 deeds and great results on the morrow ! 
 How Mr. Tomkins related of that day, when 
 they killed thirty-three couples of rabbits, and
 
 44 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 so forth ; and a vision of thirty-three couples of 
 rabbits walked in grim and endless array 
 through Newton's slumbers. Now he chevied 
 a visionary rabbit, Avhich always slipped from 
 before his gun at the moment of firing ; and 
 how he felt utterly constrained to destroy it, 
 and chased it, as it shifted, until the perspi- 
 ration ran down his face, till he tumbled over 
 a precipice into space ; and how the rabbit 
 resolved itself into the substantial Welsh one 
 he had eaten for supper, and which reigned 
 "Lord upon his bosom's throne," or whatever 
 that quotation is, matters very little ; only, as 
 it happened, we mention it. 
 
 Towards morning, he fell into an uneasy 
 doze, and was gradually dropping off into 
 sound sleep, when a tremendous row at the 
 door brought him yawning out of bed. 
 
 "Now, then, six o'clock — lively does it. 
 Coffee down-stairs in ten minutes ; so, sharp's 
 the word," and Mr. Tomkina went rumbling 
 down t<i the lower regions.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 45 
 
 Out of bed bounced Newton, as soon as he 
 was sufficiently awake to apprehend the pre- 
 cise state of things. It was dark, but Tom- 
 kins had left a candle at his door, so he took 
 it in, and proceeded to perform Chinese puzzles 
 and charades with his clothes — getting his legs 
 into the wrong forks of his trowsers, and then 
 discovering that they were hindside before, 
 and then reversing them, &c. &c, until, gar- 
 mented at last, he struggled through, his diffi- 
 culties, and got down. 
 
 There he found Tomkins busily employed in 
 the mysteries of coffee, and day just break- 
 
 ing. 
 
 " Excuse the slavey not being about, young 
 fellow, and make yourself useful." 
 "Thank ye," said Newton, "I will." 
 So they boiled eggs and toasted bacon, 
 which was not all ready for them over night, 
 and then there was a tap at the window-pane, 
 and Tomkins let in Waeeletail, who was come 
 
 CO 
 
 to breakfast, and who entered in a great hurry,
 
 46 
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 with his hat on, of course, (he never had time 
 to take that off.) 
 
 " Well — eh ! all right — eh ! capital mor- 
 ning?" 
 
 " Rained preciously last night, though," 
 said Tomkins, dubiously. 
 
 " Rained from twenty-five minutes past one 
 to seventeen minutes after three ? But it's a 
 first-rate morning for us now." 
 
 "I don't know," said Tomkins; "rabbits 
 won't bolt well after rain." 
 
 " No, no, they won't bolt well after rain." 
 (It was his first essay at rabbit shooting, 
 but never mind, he knew all about it.) " No, 
 they won't, that's quite true — well ! yes ! 
 coffee ! yes ! — an Qgg ? yes ! — only way I don't 
 like eggs is in a sav'ry omlette. I'll tell you 
 about that sav'ry omlette. Went down with 
 some fellows once, sir, near Richmond, fishing, 
 or shooting, or something; well, sir, we went 
 to a house, sir, and they brought us in a dish, 
 didn't know what it was — looked like a
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 47 
 
 pudding. Well, Wiggins says, ' Have a bit of 
 pudding, Wag ? ' So I had some, and Figgins 
 had some ; so I saw Wiggins take a mouthful, 
 and turn, sir, blue, sir, and then as pale as 
 that ceiling, sir ; I smelt something a little 
 queer ; so whilst the gal that waited was in 
 the room, I wouldn't tackle it ; but — ha ! ha ! 
 poor Wig ! it pretty near did for him. So I 
 waits till the gal Avent out, and then says I to 
 Wig, * What is it ? ' 'I don't know,' says 
 Wig, guggling in his throat. And what between 
 not being decided about swallowing it, and 
 not being able to make up his mind about 
 spitting it out again, it pretty nigh choked 
 him. Well, sir, I give you my word that the 
 prevailing and only flavour was that of sulphur 
 and assafoetida. ' What's these little green 
 things,' says Fig., 'pah! how nasty it smells!' 
 So he shoves his plate away, and I pushed 
 mine away, and Wig got up and looked out of 
 window. So what's to be clone ? we could'nt 
 eat it ; 1 wouldn't have eat it, sir, for five
 
 48 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 hundred pound. However, the people were 
 friends of Wig's, and he thought they'd be 
 so offended, if the plates all went away un- 
 touched, so lie was for pocketing it ! but, by- 
 Jove ! who was going to have that smell, sir ? 
 in his pocket ? Nobody. The only thing to 
 be done, was to chuck it on the fire, and we 
 did chuck it on the fire, and of all the crack- 
 crack! pop-popping! it made, you'd have 
 thought it was the 5th of November. The 
 more we covered it over with coals, and poked 
 it down, the more it popped. And in the 
 middle of it all, in came the confounded gal 
 again, and Fig. and I got in front of the fire, 
 pretending to be drying our trowsers, or socks, 
 or something ; and then we sang, and 
 whistled, and poked the fire tremendous, and 
 knocked down the irons, to drown the row of 
 the pop-popping — never was such a game; 
 and then we asked for the recipe, because we 
 liked it so much, ha ! ha ! And when I told 
 my wife of it, she says it was a sav'ry
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 49 
 
 omlette. i Then,' says I, ' my dear, if you 
 don't want to drive me right out of the house 
 you won't ever give me a sav'ry omlette for 
 dinner." 
 
 Thus he clacked on, laughing, eating, 
 bobbing up and down, but never easy or quiet 
 for a minute. 
 
 The rumble of wheels was now heard, and, 
 looking out in the grey of the morning, they 
 saw the cart waiting for them at the door, and 
 now, breakfast being over, and a slight thimble- 
 ful of some amber-coloured cordial having 
 been administered, they deposited the guns, 
 &c, and finally, themselves in the chaise- 
 cart — Newton snug in the bottom, — and oif 
 they started, behind " as good a pony as ever 
 stepped," as Mr. Tomkins described him, and 
 no doubt the pony was a good one, for when 
 they got clear of London a little, Tomkins 
 betted Waggle a bottle of wine that he'd trot 
 the next seven miles in thirty-two minutes ; 
 and he did it, too, with seven or eight seconds 
 
 vol. i. E
 
 50 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 to spare. The fact is, the little brute was 
 not a trotter, but a runner, and went scuffling 
 along over the level road, at a prodigious pace. 
 As they left London, the houses cut clear and 
 crisp through the morning light. The rain- 
 drops now and then plashed from the houses, 
 but the road was tolerably dry. Market-carts 
 came rolling up, packed with cabbages to an 
 extent that it was a marvel how they got to 
 market at all. A sleepy, lazy milk-maid 
 was just moving along, as if she were as yet 
 scarce awake to her employment. Presently 
 they spun past houses, where a waggon or 
 market-cart paused for a time, whilst its 
 driver partook of early purl within. The 
 pace was, however, not noticed by Newton, 
 because he was sitting at full length in the 
 bottom of the cart, with his back reclining 
 against the tail-board, and a very comfort- 
 able warm berth he found it, with lots of nice 
 fresh straw to burrow under. 
 
 In due time they reached Groundslow,
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 51 
 
 Avlierc they pulled up at the Bold Dragoon, 
 and the proprietor thereof, an old friend of 
 Tomkins, came out and greeted them heartily, 
 and then " Old Bung," as he was called, came 
 out, and greeted them too, a weather-beaten, 
 wide-awake, stringey-looking yeoman, was old 
 Bung, possessed of a reckless, devil-may-care 
 humour, mingled, oddly enough, with a dry, 
 caustic shrewdness. 
 
 " How do, Mr. Tawmkins? How do, sir? Ye 
 ha'rnt got rid o' them beauty spots o' your'n, 
 yet." (Referring to two or three rather promi- 
 nent pimples Tomkins was troubled with, 
 and which usually shewed somewhat plainly 
 on a cold morning, like plums in a_ pudding). 
 " Blood beant into sarcilation yet. You'll be 
 better arter you've had a bottle or so of gin, 
 and a gallon or two of yale," and seeing Tom- 
 kins about to sit down, he popped a piece of 
 furze he held in his hand into the chair, for 
 him to sit down upon, and then laughed 
 immensely at Tomkins' disgust. He was as 
 
 E 2
 
 52 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 full of mischief and practical jokes, as if he had 
 been at least forty years younger than he 
 was. 
 
 Then Sam, the man with the ferrets, came 
 in, and his assistant, with the mattock and 
 spade, came in, and they " didn't mind having 
 a drop of something" and finally the pro- 
 cession marched forth — Mr. Tomkins and 
 Waggletail, magnificent in double-barrels, and 
 Newton with his single, and the host of the 
 Bold Dragoon, and old Bung with a spud, 
 and Sam and his assistant, with a mongrel cur 
 or two — good at rabbits — bringing up the 
 rear. Presently they strike off the road, 
 and arrive at the warren, a tolerably exten- 
 sive one, all gravel-pits and mounds, with 
 furze and heath pretty thickly dispersed. First 
 they walk over the warren to fall in with any 
 outlying bunnies. Newton was now in a par- 
 lous state between ignorance and excitement. 
 What lie was to see, and what he was to do, 
 when lie did see it, he kncAV not ; but pre-
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 53 
 
 sently there was a " Yap," from one of the 
 dogs, and a rabbit ran almost between his legs 
 across a bit of open, through a bush and a 
 hole some twenty yards off. 
 
 " There he is — there he is," said Newtou, 
 thinking he had done something rather 
 clever in seeing the rabbit at all. 
 
 " Why didn't you shoot him? " asked Tom- 
 kins, severely. 
 
 "Well — he — he — was running away so fast." 
 
 " Quite right, sir. You always wait till 
 they sits still," said old Bung. 
 
 " Of course I shall," quoth Newton. 
 
 Presently there was another yap. " Bang," 
 went Mr. Torakins's gun, and a bunny came to 
 grief. 
 
 Next Mr. Waggletail had a chance, and he 
 very nearly shot one of the dogs, but declared 
 he hit the rabbit, nevertheless, and old Bung 
 verified it by saying, "that he never see a 
 rabbit so frightened in all his life, and he 
 shouldn't think there was a whole bone left in
 
 54 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 his body ! " at which Mr. Waggletail smiled 
 approvingly to himself, shook his head, loaded 
 his gun, and prepared anew for action. And 
 at length, having walked all over the warren, 
 and done another rabbit to death by the 
 assistance of every gun and every dog — 
 they commenced serious operations. A mound 
 was sought for, a fresh-used hole picked out, 
 and a lined ferret put in. (Intense excite- 
 ment). 
 
 " He's on 'em," quoth Sam. 
 
 " He is," said Tom, the assistant. 
 
 "Rumble, rumble, rumble ! " 
 
 " Look out." 
 
 " Woan't bolt, Tawinas." 
 
 " Doan't think as a wull, Sam," and down 
 went the mattock and spade, and to work 
 they fell, digging, and they dug, and 
 tiny dug, and they dug, and they worked 
 and sweated, and threw up clod after 
 clod, and presently Sam's head and shoulders 
 were down into the hole.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 55 
 
 "A con just touch 'un ; but can't get nar 
 a grip ; " and as Sara made another effort to 
 thrust his arm a few inches further into the 
 hole, part of the bank gave way, and down he 
 slipped, head foremost, into the deep trench 
 they had dug, with his heels in the air. 
 
 "Out" — ouf — poof;" Sam struggled to ex- 
 tricate himself, but he couldn't manage it, 
 and he only slipped further on and 
 brought down a load of gravel and rubbish 
 about his half-buried head and shoulders. 
 
 " Better pull him out, I think," said Mr. 
 Tomkins, seeing that Sam was literally in a 
 fix. 
 
 " Think not," said old Bung — " seems very 
 corn forcible where he be. Better liv' 'im 
 bide, and give the rabbit a chance." 
 
 But Sam's heels began flourishing and kick- 
 ing about in such fashion that it indicated 
 partial suffocation. Whereupon the landlord 
 and Tomkins each seized a leg, old Bung look- 
 ing on deprecatingly meanwhile, and they
 
 56 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 pulled him out gasping, but with the rabbit, 
 which he had never let go of, in his fist. 
 
 "Nigh squeak that," said Sam, who was 
 nearly purple, shaking the dust from his shoul- 
 ders, ears, and hair. "Whoy didn't no one 
 pull us out afore ? " 
 
 " Wall, Sam," answered old Bung, " I 
 never did see a man smawthered in a bury, 
 and I was reyather curous about it, and you 
 did seem so oncommon comforable, a' dancin' 
 the polkas with yer heels uppermost, that I 
 wur a thinkin' how much yer wife 'ud a liked 
 to a seen ve." 
 
 Sam bestowed a glance upon his master ; 
 but he didn't say anything ; probably, like 
 the celebrated parrot, he thought all the 
 more. 
 
 Meanwhile Tom had placed another ferret 
 in a hole on the further side of a large gravel- 
 pit, on the brink of a corner of which Newton 
 was standing, and Mr. Waggletail had gone 
 round to superintend the operation. Out
 
 NT.WTON DOGVANE. 57 
 
 popped a rabbit and ran across towards New- 
 ton's corner — " Bang " went Mr. Waggletail's 
 fowling-piece, missing the rabbit by yards, but 
 making the gravel fly in all directions, very 
 handy to Newton. It was unpleasantly close, 
 and so Newton thought; but not knowing 
 exactly whether that wasn't all right and the 
 proper sort of thing to expect, as he was not 
 shot, he said nothing. 
 
 My eye ! " said old Bung, quietly, 
 
 There'll be some fun now, afore the day's 
 over." 
 
 Then they went to another hole, and again 
 the ferret was laid up, and another digging 
 process gone through — Mr. Tomkins being 
 up to his shoulders in it, striving to handle 
 the rabbit — presently, as they were all 
 waiting, with guns cocked, and intense 
 expectation, old Bung, who had taken a little 
 tour by himself amongst the bushes, came up 
 to Newton, and said softly : — 
 
 " This way, sir, there's a rabbit a sitting in 
 
 it
 
 58 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 that bush ; I can see him from here— you'll 
 have a beautiful shot at Mm." 
 
 "Where? where?" asked Newton, ex- 
 citedly. 
 
 " There. Don't ye see him ? " 
 
 " What ! that little grey spot there, just 
 under the furze-bush ? " 
 
 " That's him," said old Bung, as regardless 
 of grammar as Ingoldsby's " Jack-daw of 
 Eheims." " You go, and show 'em how to 
 do it ; " and he walked away towards the 
 hole, while Newton, all Hushed and eager, 
 crept softly up to within about twenty yards, 
 and then, taking a steady aim, fired. 
 
 " What's that ? " asked old Bung, with 
 apparent surprise. Newton did not return 
 immediately, and when they looked up, they 
 saw him approaching rather sheepishly, with 
 the ruins of his friend Tomkins' bran new 
 grey felt wideawake, which he had nearly 
 blown away, in his hand, it having been care- 
 fully placed by old Bung, who seeing it fall
 
 NEWTON DOGYANE. 59 
 
 from Tomkins's head during his efforts at the 
 hole, secured it secretly for the purpose. Of 
 course everybody laughed immensely at this, 
 except Newton and Tomkins, who could not 
 by any means be brought to see the force of 
 the joke, particularly Tomkins. 
 
 " Wall, strikes me, Musser Taumpkins, you 
 ought to be uncommon rejoiced you hadn't 
 a got your head in it," said old Bung, by 
 way of consolation. 
 
 However, Sam's wife, coming out into the 
 field with a basket of comestibles a few minutes 
 afterwards, managed to pin up the worst of 
 the rents, and Tomkins grumblingly placed it 
 upon his head, " A regler wentilator," as old 
 Bung denominated it ; which, as the day was 
 cold, and the wind rather keen, was not 
 desirable at all, particularly as it gave poor 
 old Tomkins a bad cold for two or three weeks 
 afterwards. But nothing could check old 
 Bung's propensity for mischief. 
 
 After this, they tried several more holes,
 
 60 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 but the rabbits would not bolt, and it resolved 
 itself into a clay's "navigating," and they 
 made several very severe cuttings, with several 
 severe gradients in the mounds, in the course 
 of which they managed to secure ten or 
 more rabbits. 
 
 Then they had lunch in a neglected gravel- 
 pit, with more practical jokes from old Bung ; 
 after that, they had another hour or two's 
 " navigating," and then they turned some of 
 the rabbits, which they had kept alive, down 
 on an open space, to be shot at by the sports- 
 men • in which exploit Mr. Waggletail greatly 
 distinguished himself. They placed them- 
 selves in a row, about twenty yards apart, 
 so that the rabbit should have as little chance 
 as possible. A rabbit was placed before Mr. 
 Waggletail, who stood in the centre, some five 
 yards from him, and before the poor wretch 
 had hopped a yard, he blew it all to pieces, 
 pluming himself greatly on having " shot one 
 running." One or two more were then demo-
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. Gl 
 
 lished, in a more reasonable fashion, and next, 
 one was placed before him, which had evidently 
 received some injury, as it could not run, but 
 hopped and rolled over, struggled up, and 
 again fell. It was going towards Mr. Tomkins, 
 who was waiting with the intent to kick it 
 over and knock it on the head, when, as it 
 had blindly approached within a yard of his 
 feet, " bang " went Waggletail's gun again ; 
 cutting up the gravel and mud, and sending 
 it flying all over Tomkins. 
 
 " Hallo ! Why, confound it. What the 
 dev— " 
 
 " I've done him," quoth Waggletail, as the 
 unlucky bunny breathed his last. 
 
 " Done him ! You deuced near l did ' 
 me." 
 
 "Nonsense," said Waggletail; "it was'nt 
 anywhere near you." 
 
 " War'nt within a yard on him," said old 
 Bung. "What's he a makin' a roAv about? 
 The gentleman knowed what he was about.
 
 62 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Capital shot, sir," continued Bung, gammoning 
 Waggletail on to mischief. 
 
 " Yes, as if I should go to shoot anywhere 
 near him!" said Waggletail, in the most con- 
 vincing manner imaginable. 
 
 "Well, I'm hanged!" gasped Tomkins; 
 " it's a mercy my legs weren't as much like 
 cullenders as my hat is. Why, look here ! 
 There's the rabbit — there's the fleck — there's 
 the gravel — not shoot near me! why, it's a 
 mercy you didn't lame me for life." 
 
 " Yards wide, yards, / could see." 
 
 " See ! confound you ; what did you want 
 to shoot at the poor broken-backed beggar at 
 all for ? " 
 
 "You war'nt within a yard of him," said 
 old Bung, quietly fomenting the row. 
 
 " Of course not. I'm Mowed if I come out 
 shooting with him again," said Waggletail, 
 getting quite tiffed. 
 
 " I'll take deuced good care you don't," 
 roared Tomkins, getting out of temper, and
 
 NEWTON DOG VAN E. 63 
 
 so the matter went on, till it gradually sub- 
 sided into growls. 
 
 At length, having got as many rabbits 
 as they could, the afternoon growing cold, 
 and everybody being tired of digging, they 
 once more returned to the Bold Dragoon, 
 where they regaled themselves upon the leg of 
 mutton and its adjuncts, and after that they 
 smoked a little, and they drank a little, and 
 one or two strangers dropping in, they had a 
 song or two, and a toast or two ; until it 
 became time to depart, when they betook 
 themselves to the chaise-cart once more, in a 
 greatly amended condition, and with cigars 
 and a good deal of noisy chat, superinduced 
 by the aforesaid liquids, with the singing and 
 spouting, they in good time, got them back 
 to the great Babel once more, having taken a 
 most friendly and forgiving leave of that per- 
 tinacious and mischief-loving old sinner, old 
 Bung.
 
 64 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 NEWTON FALLS IN WITH AN OLD FRIEND. 
 
 Time passed on, and Newton became a pro- 
 mising young man in the city. His father 
 took him into partnership, and the firm 
 prospered. He frequented mild evening 
 parties in the neighbourhood of Brixton, 
 where carefid mammas with marriageable 
 daughters patronised him. He was blessed 
 with a weak tenor voice, and sung duets with 
 musical young ladies, and informed the com- 
 pany generally that " All was well," and that 
 he " Knew a bank," &c, after which he would 
 sometimes request to know " "What the wild 
 waves were saying," and so forth. He became 
 great in the polka, but not being a frequenter
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 65 
 
 of casinos he found the deux temps difficult ; 
 and he led altogether a very harmless, and 
 possibly useful, existence. But a change was 
 destined to come "o'er the spirit of his dream." 
 And so it fell out that, being in hungry mood 
 one cloudy November afternoon, he sought 
 one of those ancient hostelries which abound 
 in the city, where wits in by-gone ages were 
 wont to congregate, and which even now are 
 famed for their good cheer. 
 
 The name of this temple of Heliogabalus 
 and Bacchus combined was the Slate and 
 Pickaxe ; and the Slate and Pickaxe could 
 turn out juicy steaks, succulent chops, kidneys 
 and sausages, such as can be met with only in 
 the city. The potatoes which accompanied 
 these viands were especial marvels — such 
 magnificent, tempting roots, bursting with 
 flouriness ! There was a legend about these 
 potatoes attached to the Slate and Pickaxe, to 
 the effect that the proprietor had an estate 
 comprising hundreds of acres, where nothing 
 
 VOL. i. F
 
 66 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 but these identical potatoes were cultivated. 
 Potatoe disease, bless you ! potatoe disease 
 never troubled the Slate and Pickaxe farm, 
 even in its very worst days. Slate and Pick- 
 axe tubers scorned to yield to such weaknesses, 
 and continued to turn up in the good old- 
 fashioned way, without spick or speck. 
 
 Mr. Dogvane had used the house all his 
 life, and Newton, like a dutiful son, trod 
 reverently in his father's footsteps. 
 
 Up an alley, under an archway, past a 
 church-door — you couldn't see anything of the 
 church but the door, part of a window, and 
 some iron railings, within which were ne- 
 glected graves, defaced with brickbats, tin 
 kettles, and other rubbish. In the midst shot 
 up a mouldy sycamore, which struggled with 
 the smoke above and the rottenness below to 
 put forth a faint appearance of spring, when 
 summer was almost over; but it Avas bare 
 enough now, and black enough too. People 
 wondered, as they passed, how it ever grew to
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 67 
 
 such a size there — not tli.it it was particularly 
 Large, but it looked larger than it was from 
 being out of place. 
 
 Hound a corner, past a bright window 
 filled with raw chops, steaks, kidneys, and 
 lemons, amidst which a solitary hare sat in a 
 form such as she never could have occupied 
 in life without first breaking her back. She 
 was flanked by a dish of skinned soles, and 
 another of whitings engaged in the apparently 
 difficult feat of swallowing their own tails. 
 Past a bar, replete and shining with glass, 
 pewter, brass, and beer-engines, behind which 
 stood the Slate and Pickaxe himself, who 
 reminded you forcibly of a baron of beef in a 
 white apron, bowing with stately politeness to 
 his, or rather its, customers. On past the 
 bar, round another corner, and you enter a 
 dark apartment filled up with boxes — smell 
 of cookery and gas ; strange thing about that 
 room, the gas never was supposed to go out ; 
 no windows — though there had originally been 
 
 F 2
 
 68 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 one. Hear what the Slate himself says of 
 that window. 
 
 "Bricked up because of the churchyard, 
 sir. Pretty prospect, I do assure you, before 
 it was bricked up ; grass and trees — quite the 
 country ; even hear leaves rustle sometimes ; 
 five-and-thirty of my oldest customers," con- 
 tinues the Slate, "buried there. I used to 
 smoke my pipe, and look out on it from one 
 of the upper windows, till I grew quite senti- 
 mental over the graves. But that was in the 
 good old time. Oh, dear, no," he says, in 
 answer to a question, " they don't bury there 
 now. Haven't for a long time. I had hoped 
 to lay my bones there, so as to be among old 
 friends, and near the old place. There was a 
 somethin' — a sort of a fancy like, when I got 
 a musing, that I should be able to hear the 
 eatin' and drinkin' goin' on. But a parcel of 
 innovators come and shut it up — much good 
 may it do'em ! That earth had a wonderful 
 habit, such as I never see in any other earth.
 
 NEWTON DOOYANE. 69 
 
 It growed, sir, — actilly it growed. I've 
 knowed it grow an inch and three-quarters 
 up them lower panes in a year. Malicious 
 people said it was the dead bodies ; but that's 
 all nonsense. It wasn't nothing of the kind. 
 It was the uncommon fertil natur' of the soil. 
 Look at that tree ! — the pride o' the court, I 
 call it ; you won't see sich a tree as that any 
 where else. Well, the soil couldn't grow 
 things fast enough, so it took to and growed 
 its ownself. But people did complain ; there's 
 always some as will. They wouldn't sit at 
 that end of the room, so I was forced to have 
 it bricked up. Great blow ! all comes of 
 innovation. They said it took away their 
 appetites. Why, I could sit at that very 
 winder and eat — 'Three steaks, one chop, 
 and sausage, and — That steak pudding.' " 
 (The latter part of this speech would be 
 addressed to a hole in the wall, whence ran 
 a pipe which communicated with the cookery, 
 as three or four customers entered, whose
 
 70 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 appetites and wants he had known for years.) 
 Such was often the theme of conversation with 
 mine host of the Slate — or, as he was fami- 
 liarly termed by city wits, " The Slate." 
 Newton entered, took his accustomed corner, 
 and the ubiquitous William waited for orders 
 in the twinkling of a bedpost — a period of 
 time well understood, though not set down in 
 the tables. 
 
 " The pudding ! " said Newton shortly, as 
 he took up the supplement of the Times, and 
 read abstractedly. 
 
 The pudding appeared. Ye who have eaten 
 in youthful days an indigestible mass, com- 
 posed of untearable steak, surrounded by a 
 perfect Malakoff of a crust, attend ! You 
 have not eaten real steak-pudding, if your 
 mouths water not at the recollection. Take 
 — but no, I dare not give the recipe. A 
 hundred cooks would conspire against my life; 
 I should walk, sleep, and eat in terror of 
 tough steaks, tainted kidneys, &c. &c. ; for
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 71 
 
 the rest of my natural life, slow assassination 
 through my digestion, by means of unwhole- 
 some viands, would be my portion. I can do 
 no more than hint vaguely at kidneys and 
 oysters. Mark how the gravy wells out at 
 the first application of the fork. Observe the 
 delicate and impalpable nature of the crust : 
 it melts in the mouth without mastication. 
 We will not dwell upon it, lest some of our 
 readers chance to be hungry. Newton ate it 
 — ay, every bit, and Apicius might have 
 envied him. 
 
 Newton waited for the cheese, and looked 
 round. Opposite to him, but hidden behind 
 the out-spread Times, sat some one — he had 
 not yet had an opportunity of scanning the 
 individual's face ; and subsequently, being 
 engrossed with the pudding, he had scarcely 
 observed him. But this gentleman, whoever 
 he was — and he was a young man, good- 
 looking and well-dressed — had once or twice 
 glanced curiously and scrutiuisingly at New-
 
 72 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 ton over the top of the paper. Newton 
 having finished the pudding, his opposite 
 neighbour once more glanced at him, and 
 coughed slightly, as if to attract attention. 
 Newton looked at him — their eyes met. The 
 intelligence of mutual recognition gradually 
 spread over their faces, and " What ! Ted, old 
 fellow!" and "Why! Newton, old boy!" 
 burst from both simultaneously. It Avas his 
 quondam schoolmate, Ted Bowers. There 
 was great shaking of hands, in the midst of 
 which Newton hailed William, " Bottle of the 
 forty-five port — a friend of mine, William." 
 
 " Glad to see him, sir," said William, pa- 
 tronisingly, looking at Ted as if he were some 
 new and delicate species of chicken just im- 
 ported. 
 
 "Take it up to the Falcon, William." 
 
 "The forty-five, sir — yes, sir; you shall, 
 
 sir. You wos always a good judge, from a 
 
 boy you wos, Mr. Newton. ' Little but good, 
 
 says you. So was the old un afore you, so he
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 73 
 
 was ; ' little but good,' says he ; ' half a pint 
 of the best ' — I like a pint myself — Yes, sir, 
 you shall." And away went William to the 
 cellar, while our two friends mounted the 
 stairs and entered a room, on the door of 
 which in white letters was the word Falcon. 
 The port made its appearance in great state, 
 and was of course approved of highly. Then 
 came the revelations and remembrances of 
 former years, and "What had become of 
 Jones;" and how "Smith was married to a 
 native princess in Madagascar; and while 
 Brown had ten children and a wife — and such 
 a one, too ! Robinson was unmarried, and 
 Walker died of yellow fever in the West 
 Indies, and Thomson was murdered by Dyak 
 pirates — you know, it was in the paper — and 
 his ears and teeth were brought home by 
 Wilson, who married the corn-chandler's 
 daughter — You know old Johnson's daugh- 
 ter ; Iloppety Johnson's sister. You recollect 
 Hoppety — dot, and go one — contracted leg,
 
 74 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 and all that. Wilson used to chaff him about 
 his pretty sister, and say that if she'd plenty 
 of tin he'd marry her ; and don't you remem- 
 ber how Wilson used to threaten Hoppety 
 that he'd pull his leg, if he did'nt help him to 
 run away with his sister." " And he actually 
 married her, after all!" " Married her, ah! 
 and got 40,000/. with her." "Not a bad 
 coup." Thus the revelations went on, mingled 
 with laughter and clinking glasses. The 
 pistol, you may be sure, was not forgotten. 
 All their prospects were discussed. How Ted 
 was waiting for a commission ; how he was 
 afraid he was too old, but as there was a talk 
 of war, perhaps that would be overlooked, &c. 
 Amidst all this the bottle came to an end, and 
 something warm followed, with some of those 
 Cacjadores regalias ; and it was all very jolly 
 and pleasant. 
 
 At length, when they parted, Newton found 
 that lie had engaged himself to bring his gun ! 
 and dog ! ! on the day after to-morrow to the
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 75 
 
 livery-stables where Ted's cart was ; and Ted 
 Lad promised, on the other part, to drive him 
 down to Crookham, his family's place, for a 
 little shooting, &c.
 
 76 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 TREATS ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS. 
 
 The next day was a busy one for Newton. 
 He had promised to bring his gun and his 
 dog ! A gun he had certainly — the one he 
 acquired from Mr. Shecabs ; but he had some- 
 where heard a single gun denominated a poker ; 
 so that wouldn't do. He mentioned his diffi- 
 culty to William the waiter, who solved it for 
 him by lending him a very tolerable double 
 Lancaster, which he had taken of " a party " 
 in consideration of a debt. But a dog ! Such 
 a thing had never been seen inside No. 7, 
 Prospect-terrace, Brixton, for Newton's father 
 and mother had an antipathy to the whole 
 canine race ; and had Mrs. Dogvane fancied 
 that her Newton — the apple of her eye —
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 77 
 
 possessed such a thing in secret, she would 
 have been tormented to death, sleeping and 
 waking, by dreams of hydrophobia, mad dogs, 
 feather-beds, &c. Accordingly, Newton had 
 never owned one. Now, however, a dog must 
 be obtained somehow. He had tacitly acqui- 
 esced in the fiction of his possessing a dog ; and, 
 at all hazards, the fiction must be made fact. 
 Accordingly, William named one Mr. Tightner, 
 who dwelt in the neighbourhood of the New- 
 road, as " a likely place for a sportin' dog " — 
 where he could hire one for a week, probably ; 
 and forthwith away posted Newton towards 
 the New-road. Passing down the Strand, his 
 eye was attracted by a gorgeous style of 
 shooting-jacket, ticketed 35s. 6d. "Ah!" 
 thought Newton, " a pretty mess I should 
 have been in, if I had not seen this." New- 
 ton stopped — alas for Newton ! 
 
 " You have ready-made shooting-jackets 
 here," he said to the proprietor, who stood 
 bowing.
 
 78 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " The largest and choicest selection in 
 London " 
 
 "That's a lie," thought Newton, looking 
 round the confined premises. " But no mat- 
 ter , if he has one that'll do for me ; it will 
 answer as well as if he really had the 25,000, 
 as per placard." And the proprietor had 
 one which did for him — but of that hereafter. 
 The one which had attracted Newton's eye 
 was unhooked ; it was a glaring, staring, 
 rainbow plaid — blue, green, red, yellow, 
 purple, and white. 
 
 " Sweet thing, sir," quoth the proprietor, 
 displaying it. 
 
 Newton would have objected that it was too 
 brilliant ; but he was knocked down by the 
 information " That plaids was all the thing 
 with Prince IF Albert, the Nobs, and the rest of 
 the Royal family. And gents in the 'Ighlands 
 wore nothing else but those identical plaids, 
 which was called the Macdoodle tartan." The 
 jacket was tried on. It was much too large;
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 79 
 
 but he was again assured " that it was made 
 for Lord Tomnoddy, who was just Newton's 
 size and cut, and he'd a ordered it loose and 
 full for freedom of h action." Of course he 
 was gammoned into purchasing it, fur, in 
 spite of Newton's wish to see some of the 
 other 24,999, he could not get a sight of 
 them; and he was finally persuaded that a 
 complete suit of the same stuff " was the 
 regler thing " (the proprietor having bought a 
 damaged remnant of it cheap) ; so he gave 
 orders for trowsers and waistcoat of the same 
 to be sent home the ensuing morning. 
 
 A cap and a tie of other gorgeous plaids 
 were now forced on him, and " Boots — some 
 of our registered anti-fluvials, Mr. Sneek," 
 said the proprietor. But Newton made a 
 stand against the anti-fluvials ; he had little 
 faith in them. Still it wouldn't do. Anti- 
 fluvials with bladder lining, waterproof some- 
 thing or other, and gutta percha something or 
 other else, were stuck into him, and he was
 
 80 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 sent away minus the best part of a ten-pound 
 note. 
 
 Having arrived at the New-road, Newton 
 found out Mr. Tightness canine repository. 
 It was held at the dirtiest house, in the dirtiest 
 by-lane, leading out of the dirtiest street, in 
 the New-road. Newton entered a small shop 
 encumbered with bird-cages and birds, living 
 and dead, badgers, rat-dogs, foxes, and many 
 other specimens of natural history, which, 
 with a strong flavour of tobacco, rabbits, rats, 
 stables, sewers, cellars, aniseed, and gin, 
 almost choked not only the place but the 
 unwary visitor. He was informed by a very 
 dirty old woman, who was a fit ornament to 
 the concern, " That Tightner were at 'ome, 
 and he were wormin' some puppies, but 'ud 
 come presently." A screaming parrot at 
 Newton's back commenced a horribly dis- 
 cordant croak. " Mother Tight," yelled the 
 bird— " Mother Tight— Old Mother Faggot, 
 keep me out in the cold — Oh you d 1 —
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 81 
 
 Tightness drunk — You're another — Ila ! ha ! 
 ha!" These sentences the bird vociferated 
 again and again with astonishing volubility, 
 winding up with a perfectly fiendish shout of 
 laughter as Newton turned round.' 
 
 " Oh you d — 1," said Mrs. Tightner, shak- 
 ing her fist at the bird ; and Poll echoed her, 
 as she went out grumbling. The parrot 
 evidently was in the habit of repeating scraps 
 of the connubial intercourse which passed 
 between Mr. and Mrs. Tightner. What a 
 wicked parrot it was ! And no sooner did 
 Poll open, than each of the other live speci- 
 mens of dogs, birds, &c. &c, lent his share 
 towards the general uproar. 
 
 Mr. Tightner here appeared in his shirt- 
 sleeves, smoking a pipe. He was a thought 
 dirtier than Mrs. Tightner, and consequently 
 two thoughts dirtier than anything else within 
 a hundred yards or so of his abode. Mr. 
 Tightner needs no description. He is a 
 well-known subject. Newton made known his 
 
 vol. I. G
 
 82 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 business, and Mr. Tightner, without a word, 
 led the way, through a dark passage, into a 
 narrow paved yard surrounded by dog-kennels. 
 A fierce bull-dog made a dash at Newton's 
 legs ; but, receiving a skilfully administered 
 kick on the stomach from the heavily-ironed 
 toe of Mr. Tightner' s ankle-jack, he thought 
 better of it, and retired to his hutch. Sundry 
 other suspicious terriers and hungry-looking 
 bulls made overtures to Newton's calves, and 
 a general howling, barking, and growling 
 ensued ; but Newton kept well out of reach. 
 
 " There you air," said Mr. Tightner, 
 stopping before a kennel, and dragging forth 
 a mongrelish-looking, coarse-sterned pointer. 
 
 "Oh! that's the dog?" said Newton. 
 
 " That's him — Mungo's his name ; and a 
 ten-pun note's his price. You won't ditto 
 him, search London over. I knows if I took 
 'im to Lord Stilton I cud get fifteen for 
 
 'im." 
 
 Newton, in his usual style of reasoning 
 
 &>
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 83 
 
 ventured to wonder " why he didn't take him 
 to Lord Stilton. Mr. Tightner looked narrowly 
 at his customer, suspecting an intention to 
 chaff on the part of Newton ; but, seeing that 
 he was perfectly serious, he kicked a terrier 
 back into his kennel, which was creeping up to 
 Newton with sinister intent. "Ah, would 
 yer? That's the artfullest warment that is, 
 as ever I had on these premises. Jem Burn's 
 breed, he is ; he'd a had you jist above the 
 boot in another seckind." 
 
 "Would he?" said Newton, involuntarily 
 moving his legs. 
 
 " I believe yer," answered Mr. Tightner ; 
 " he's a curiosity, he is ; so gallus artful, he is. 
 Well, yer see, about the pinter, 'taint what I 
 could git, but what I can. Lord Stilton's out 
 o' town, and therefore I'm obligated to give 
 the dorg away." 
 
 Newton explained that his object was not 
 to buy ; and after considerable chaffering and 
 " puttin it to Newton as a gentleman," and 
 
 g 2
 
 84 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 the usual amount of shifts, dodges, &c, a 
 bargain was struck. Newton was to pay 30s. 
 a week for the hire of the dog, and to pay 
 51. deposit on him. " The fiver, in course, I 
 returns in case no 'arm 'appens to hira — that 
 you're certain on." Poor Newton ! the idea 
 of Tightner returning any money ! or of any 
 money being a week in his possession without 
 his spending it ! 
 
 " Very good," said Newton. Newton might 
 be a sharp man of business in the City, but 
 he was a baby, a lamb, to that wolf of a 
 Tightner. 
 
 Newton paid the money, and, as a matter 
 of business, asked for a receipt. 
 
 " Ye see, sir," answered Tightner, " I carnt 
 write." 
 
 " Oh, I'll write it," said Newton, " and you 
 can scratch your mark against it." 
 
 " Ah, but then 1 carnt read," said Tightner, 
 with an expressive wink ; " and how am I to 
 know wot's on the paper?"
 
 NEWTON DOGVAM-. 85 
 
 " You may trust to my honour, I should 
 think," said Newton, indignantly. 
 
 " Gammon !" said Tightner.— " Mr.— Mr." 
 
 " Dogvane," said Newton. 
 
 " Dogwane," repeated Tightner, " take my 
 hadwice — don't you never 'ave nothink to do 
 with 'onour, or you'll be broke, as sure as my 
 name's Tightner. It's a bad game, is 'onour — 
 and trust's nothink but a wusser. Now look 
 'ere, this is a matter of business. Not readin' 
 nor writin' ; I 'ates paper ; I've got the 
 money— you've got the dorg. Bring me the 
 dorg, safe and sound, mind you, and there's 
 the money. 1 can't say no fairer. S'pose I 
 dies bankrups" (fancy Tightner bankrupting ! 
 Even Newton could not help smiling at the 
 idea), " still you've all the best of it. There's 
 the dorg, and you could keep 'm." With this 
 reasoning Newton was obliged to be content. 
 So, calling for a cab, and refusing Mr. 
 Tightner's kind invite " to stand something," 
 he tied a handkerchief round Mungo's neck,
 
 86 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 forced him into the cab, and drove off exulting 
 in his acquisition ; while Mr. Tightner took 
 a solemn pantomimic sight at them, as they 
 drove off, and performed a triumphant double 
 shuffle behind the cage of the parrot, whose 
 last words were " Tightner's drunk — Ha ! ha !" 
 Having thus given vent to his satisfaction, 
 Mr. Tightner proceeded to finish getting 
 intoxicated — he was usually more or less 
 so — and continued in that state for some 
 days, until the last sixpence of the 61. 10s. 
 was dissipated.
 
 87 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 A ROW IN THE HOUSE. 
 
 " My dear," said Mrs. Dogvane, to Mr. 
 Dogvane, " haven't you observed something 
 strange — something very strange about New 
 all day?" 
 
 " Well, my dear, yes. I think I may say 
 chat I saw him in one of the most remarkable 
 jackets an hour or two since that — " 
 
 " I don't mean that, Mr. Dogvane. But 
 that's always your way." 
 
 " What's always my way, dear?" 
 
 " Why, that—" 
 
 " Which ? What ? Ton my life ! my dear, 
 I don't understand you."
 
 88 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " That's just what I'm saying, you always 
 pretend that you don't understand me, and go 
 off to something else. I was asking you if 
 you hadn't noticed something remarkable in 
 New's manner, and you begin to talk about 
 his shooting-jackets." (Mrs. Dogvane, when 
 she grew a little excited, invariably pluralised 
 things, as if there were several of them in 
 question.) 
 
 " You didn't say in his manner, my love ; 
 you said about him. And of course I thought 
 you referred to that tartan affair, which says 
 as plain as it can, ' Saxon I am, and a regular 
 do!'" 
 
 " Pshaw ! fiddle ! There you are at your 
 puns now. Well, but haven't you, my dear, 
 observed that — " 
 
 " My dear, I certainly have noticed that 
 he appeared restless ; that lie has gone out 
 of the room, and come in again, often er than 
 usual. But, as he is going to this Mr. Bowers's 
 on a sporting visit to-morrow, 1 thought
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 89 
 
 he was anxious about his preparations, and 
 was packing bags, and cleaning guns, and 
 so forth. But 1 don't know that I have 
 noticed anything more." 
 
 " All ! then, 1 have/' said the anxious 
 mother. " I'm sure there's something the 
 matter, and that he's not well. I heard him 
 go round the back of the house towards the 
 dust-hole just now ; and I heard him whistling; 
 and then all of a sudden he stopped ; and 
 then I heard him say as distinctly as possible, 
 ' Poor fellow ! ' and something about ' lying 
 down.' Besides, he looks so excited." 
 
 " Fancy ! my dear — fancy !" 
 
 " Oh ! of course it is. That's just what 
 you said, if you recollect, before he had the 
 measles. You remember that I said I thought 
 he looked flushed, and you said that wome 
 were always thinking something." 
 
 " Did I, my dear ? Perhaps I was right." 
 
 " You did. Those were your very words, 
 when that dear child was four years and three
 
 90 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 months old ; and I replied that I was sure he 
 was sickening for something, and you said, 
 1 Fancy ! my dear — fancy ! ' just as you say it 
 to-night," 
 
 (t Well, really, my love, I'm very sorry. 
 What do you think he's sickening for now? 
 If I might give an opinion, I should say, after 
 that tea he made, it was an attack of muf- 
 fins." Mrs. Dogvane rose and left the room, 
 saying that "men hadn't a bit of feeling;" 
 and Mr. Dogvane resumed his paper, which he 
 had laid down. 
 
 Sleep prevaileth. Night has covered the 
 earth with its shroud. A silence, broken only 
 by the distance-deadened roll and roar of the 
 hoarse, dissipated city, reigns around; but 
 this sound is so sleepless, so ever constant, 
 that it becomes part, parcel, and pulse of the 
 very silence itself. When will London be 
 thoroughly silent? When it shall have be- 
 come the city of the dead, and not till then ; 
 for where there is life there is sound. There-
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 91 
 
 fore, when we say that silence reigned around, 
 we only mean to say that there was nobody 
 speaking, and that the silence was subject 
 to certain conditions. We stand in a bed- 
 chamber — start not, reader; don't be alarmed. 
 This is a domestic, connubial apartment, and 
 the parties occupying it have every lawful 
 right so to do. There is a gentle rustle, 
 and the soft, regular, nasophonous music of 
 a lady's organ might be heard playing tenor 
 to the hoarser bass tone of a manly instru- 
 ment, which, ever and again, after running 
 through a complicated passage, ended with 
 a chord-like snort, and, after a brief rest, 
 began again. Suddenly there arose without 
 a cry — a yell so loud, so piercing, so pro- 
 longed — that the nasophons ceased, as though 
 some magic spell had been suddenly dis- 
 solved ; and the proprietors of the two in- 
 struments, after various contortions, sat up 
 in bed, with alarm depicted on their coun- 
 tenances, which would have presented to any
 
 92 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 one who might have seen them the features 
 of Mr. and Mrs. Dogvane. 
 
 " Bless my heart ! " quoth Mrs. D. 
 
 " Bless my soul ! " quoth Mr. D. 
 
 "What is it? What could it be?" in- 
 quired both. 
 
 " Ya-hoo-o-oo," was repeated without. 
 
 " Dear me ! How very linked," said 
 Mrs. D. 
 
 "Very unearthly, I must say," said 
 Mr. D. 
 
 " A-hoo-oo-o." 
 
 " For all the world it sounds like a dog 
 howling," said Mrs. D. 
 
 " That's what it is — a beastly cur," said 
 Mr. P., flopping down on the pillow again, and 
 addressing himself to sleep. 
 
 " Ya-hoo-oo-o." 
 
 " I declare it sounds close under our win- 
 dow," quoth Mrs. D. 
 
 " Oh ! confoundedly close ! " quoth Mr. D. 
 
 " Va-hou-oo."
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 93 
 
 "My dear, do get up, and just look out of 
 the window, and see what's the matter ; I'm 
 sure there's somebody dying somewhere ! ' 
 said Mrs. D. 
 
 " Oh ! ah ! I daresay ! Get up and open 
 the window in November ? Dying be hanged ! 
 Let 'em die then — I'm not going to be blown 
 into fiddle-strings because people will die. 
 How can I help their dying ? " 
 
 " A-hoo-hoo-hoo." 
 
 " Oh dear ! bother the dog." 
 
 " D — n the brute ! I wish he'd a brick-bat 
 round his neck," said Dogvane, viciously, as, 
 with a turn and a twist, he pulled his night- 
 cap over his ears, and once more tried all 
 he knew to sleep. But the sound wouldn't 
 be shut out ; it came again and again, 
 " A-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo," as if it never meant 
 leaving off. 
 
 Mr. Dogvane once more, like " Shove " 
 the barber, "sat on his antipodes in bed." 
 Another howl, and " Heavens and earth,
 
 94 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 it's too bad!" and Mr. Dogvane dashed 
 out of bed, rushed to the window, and 
 threw it up violently. A chill wind swept 
 into the apartment and playfully fluttered 
 Mr. Dogvane's shirt-tails, diffusing, from 
 head to heel, one universal shiver. But 
 Mr. Dogvane's was not the only window 
 open ; for when he put out his head (which 
 he did cautiously enough) he saw several 
 others — in fact a row of white nightcaps, 
 all up the back windows of the terrace — 
 protruding inquiringly and anathematisingly ; 
 while a general chorus of " Infernal brutes," 
 "Disgraceful nuisances," &c, made itself 
 
 heard. 
 
 Mr. Dogvane looked to the right and to 
 the left, and saAv nothing. " Ya-woo-oo " — 
 why, where could it be? It seemed directly 
 under his nose. 
 
 "Mungo! Mun-go! Lay down, sir-r-r! 
 said a voice over Mr. Dogvane's head. 
 
 Mr. Dogvane looked up. The speaker
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 95 
 
 was his son Newton. He looked down, and 
 beheld the nuisance in his own back yard — 
 nay, in his own, his very own dusthole 
 — in the shape of Mungo. A volley of 
 "Shamefuls," "Disgracefuls," "Abominables," 
 and " Infernals " was hurled at Mr. Dogvane's 
 nightcap. The situation was not agreeable, 
 the wind piercing cold ; so he did the wisest 
 thing he could do under the circumstances — 
 he shut the window. 
 
 There was evidently a dog, a protege of 
 his son's on the premises. It would be all 
 explained in the morning; so he merely 
 put his head outside the door, and ordered 
 Newton to "Go down at once and quiet that 
 brute ; " and then, getting into bed, he 
 grinned pleasantly at the thought of the 
 delightful task he had set his son, as he 
 heard Newton knocking his shins against the 
 banisters on his way down to the back 
 door. 
 
 Mungo had been smuggled into the house ;
 
 96 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 and Newton, knowing his mother's prejudice, 
 had concealed him in the dusthole, where he 
 had been perpetually supplied by Newton, 
 throughout the evening, with broken victuals, 
 &c, to keep him quiet. But the bones were 
 demolished, and Mungo missed the genial 
 atmosphere and company of Mr. Tightner's 
 kennel ; and thus he made his moan, and 
 introduced himself to the notice of the 
 inhabitants of Prospect Terrace. Newton 
 once more groped his way to the larder, 
 and seizing in the dark the first thing- 
 he could get hold of, which was a carcass of 
 something, conveyed it to Mungo, with many 
 "Poor fellows!" and " Good old chaps!" 
 in the midst of which, the " good old chap," 
 scenting an edible, snatched it from Newton's 
 hand, and retreated with it to the congenial 
 dusthole, growling. 
 
 Towards morning Mungo favoured the 
 neighbourhood with another serenade, which 
 lasted until cock-crow; and the consequence
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 97 
 
 was that nine notes of indignant expostulation 
 and one notice of action for nuisance made 
 their appearance upon Mr. Dogvane's break- 
 fast-table before nine o'clock. 
 
 " Martha," said Mrs. Dogvane, " broil the 
 back and one of the legs of the goose for your 
 master's breakfast. Cayenne, and a slice of 
 lemon." 
 
 " Please 'm," quoth Martha, after a short 
 interval, " there aint no goose here." 
 
 "Nonsense!" answered her mistress, "I 
 saw it there on the right-hand shelf myself 
 last night. Do as I tell you." 
 
 " But it aint here," persisted Martha. 
 
 "Not there!" 
 
 " No, 'm ; its clean gone and stole'd 
 away." 
 
 " Don't tell me ! you know I had the cat 
 made away with only last week, and now we 
 haven't got one at all ; therefore, if you haven't 
 given it to the policeman or the chaps, it must 
 be tli ere." 
 
 vol. I. H
 
 98 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 For this mean and base insinuation, Martha 
 gave warning on the spot, and muttered 
 something about " Debaging slaves, Uncle 
 Tom's Cabbingses, and Horsetrailyer." 
 
 " But what can have come of it ? " con- 
 tinued Mrs. Dogvane. 
 
 " Sure I don't know," jerked out Martha ; 
 " I don't find no pleegemen and chaps in 
 board and lodgins. Leastways, if I did, I'm 
 sure they wouldn't get fat enough to be made 
 prize oxes on out o' this 'ouse. 
 
 For this cruel and cutting insinuation, 
 Martha's missus gave her warning on the 
 spot, and called her " an ungrateful hussy." 
 And yet Martha and her mistress were as good 
 friends as ever again in two hours' time, and 
 did not entertain the least idea of parting. 
 
 Newton heard the colloquy. Could it have 
 been the goose he had pitched on and con- 
 veyed to Mungo in the night? He owned 
 at breakfast-time, in the course of explana- 
 tions, that it might have been.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 99 
 
 Mrs. Dogvane thought that he might have 
 chosen anything else ; but it appeared, upon 
 enquiry, that he had chosen everything else 
 previously ; and she was motherly and affec- 
 tionate. Mr. Dogvane would have been 
 wroth at any other time, not only at the sur- 
 reptitious introduction of Mungo, but the loss 
 of his broil. But the notes were so very in- 
 dignant, so lofty and exacting in tone, that he 
 £rew do£«red, and he remembered Newton's 
 pleasant journey down stairs with a grim 
 smile and much relish. And, finally, he 
 declared that "he had a right to keep a dog, 
 if he liked — Avhat right had that old Cossack, 
 Copps (one Captain Copps, late of the 
 H. E. I. C. S), to talk about actions for nui- 
 sances ? hang him ! There wasn't a greater 
 nuisance in the neighbourhood than he was 
 himself. He'd a right to keep a dog. He 
 would keep a dog. He'd see old Copps 
 Mowed but what he'd keep a dog; and if Newton 
 took that dog away, he'd buy another ; and if 
 
 II 2
 
 100 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 it didn't howl often enough, he'd invent some 
 sort of infernal machine with a spring to it, 
 which would keep him at it every two minutes 
 all night long. Who was old Copps, indeed ! " 
 
 " And who was that Mrs. Copps," said 
 Mrs. Dogvane. 
 
 " A captain in — " 
 
 " I don't believe he was ever a captain at 
 all," put in Mrs. D. 
 
 "Well, a leftenant, then, in the Bombay 
 Horse Marines — ha ! ha ! " 
 
 "And his wife was part of a speculation 
 cargo." 
 
 " The d — 1 take Copps/' said Mr. Dogvane ; 
 to which Mrs. Dogvane replied, "that although 
 it certainly was strong language she'd no ob- 
 jection." Accordingly, Captain Copps was 
 politely informed in a note, with all sorts of 
 compliments, that there was no law against 
 keeping dogs, and if he felt aggrieved at it, 
 he could retaliate by keeping another."
 
 101 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 TO CROOKIIAM. 
 
 Crookham is a pleasant little village in Kent, 
 some twenty miles from London ; and thither 
 our friends were bound on the ensuing after- 
 noon. The dogcart and the roan mare were 
 in waiting. Mungo was dragged from a cab, 
 and with Newton's bag and guncase was hoisted 
 up, much against his will, and forced into the 
 depths of the cart. Newton and his friends 
 scrambled to their seats. The cloth was with- 
 drawn, and, at a chirrup from Ned, the roan 
 stepped away at a good round trot, making 
 light of the load within the cart, and of the for- 
 tunes and solid flesh of Mr. Newton Dogvane
 
 102 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 and his friend Ned Bowers, which were for 
 the time deposited outside it. 
 
 Newton was unused to dogcarts, and held 
 firmly on by the rail for the first mile or so, 
 evincing a strong disposition to clutch the 
 reins, whenever a cart, dray, or omnibus 
 seemed nearer to them than quite accorded 
 with his notions of safety. Newton had been 
 accustomed to omnibuses and cabs, and there 
 was something solid and safe to his eyes in 
 their ponderous weight and five-mile-an-hour 
 pace ; consequently, the lightness of the cart, 
 and the free action of the roan mare, seemed 
 fraught with danger to the inexperienced 
 Newton. 
 
 " "Would you like to drive, Newton ? ' ! 
 asked Ned, upon one of those occasions when 
 Newton had made an attempt on the reins as 
 they whirled by an omnibus. 
 
 " Oh, dear ! no, thank you," answered 
 Newton. 
 
 "Then, if you don't wish to be upset, I
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 103 
 
 think, perhaps, you had better let me, as it 
 isn't quite safe laying hold of the ribbons like 
 you do. I know the mare, and she knows me, 
 and you'd better leave us alone if you wish to 
 arrive uninjured at the journey's end," said 
 Edward, rather drily. 
 
 "My dear fellow, I beg your pardon. It 
 was quite involuntary ; I won't do it again." 
 And Newton put a watchful curb upon his 
 actions for the rest of the evening ; though on 
 one or two occasions, when " his heart was in 
 his mouth," he only just succeeded in stopping 
 himself from repeating the offence. 
 
 Clatter, clatter, rattle, rattle, they went over 
 the stony streets. Carriages, carts, omnibuses, 
 &c, &c., were cast behind like nothing. 
 Anon they grew thin, and thinner still, and 
 the steady hard roll of the turnpike told 
 them that London was behind. Gaps began 
 to appear between the houses, through which 
 visions of gardens and trees appeared in the 
 distance.
 
 104 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Railings and new churches gave place to 
 hedges, with here and there a tea-garden or 
 suburban public-house. Presently, the houses 
 ceased altogether, though they had made a 
 long struggle of it ; hedges, trees, and green 
 fields alone were seen ; and they were upon 
 the road. 
 
 " Now, New, I'm going to hand you the 
 reins, while I light a weed ; and as you are 
 decidedly innocent as regards driving, all you 
 have to do is to keep them just tight enough 
 to feel the old mare's mouth without checking: 
 her. Let her have her own way ; she'll go. 
 You really ought to know how to drive, and 
 must learn. There ! " giving Newton the 
 reins. " Now leave the whip alone, you don't 
 want that, nor does the old lady; for if you 
 only dropped the lash on her back, I wouldn't 
 answer for the consequences. Don't hold the 
 reins like a tailor. Here, first and second 
 finger — so — yon don't want a hand for each 
 rein." And Newton took the reins as his
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 105 
 
 friend shewed him, and let the mare go her 
 own pace. The road was level and straight. 
 It really seemed the simplest thing in the 
 world. Ned lighted a cigar. 
 
 Presently a horse and cart came toiling 
 along the road ; Newton seized the off-rein in 
 his whip hand, and pulled as if he were 
 dragging at a nine-inch cable. Round sprung 
 the old mare at this unwonted visitation to 
 her grinders, and narrowly missed the ditch ; 
 she righted herself, however, pulled the wheel 
 off the footway on which it had intruded, and 
 went off at " score " in a smart canter. 
 
 " Don't pull her," said Ned ; " let her have 
 her run out, and she'll soon find it's all a 
 mistake, and will calm doAvn. If you don't 
 let her do it her own way, she'll be fidgetty 
 all the rest of the journey. What on earth 
 made you pull at the rein in that fashion? 
 A slight turn of the wrist is all that is 
 necessary. See — thus, — that's it ; you'll 
 soon learn."
 
 106 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Oh, yes, I shall soon learn ; it's delight- 
 fully easy." 
 
 "Easy as — as — bull-fighting, when you're 
 used to it." 
 
 After a time, Newton, getting more " used 
 to it," actually lighted a cigar with one hand, 
 while he held the reins in the other. This 
 was the great event of the afternoon to 
 Newton. "Pull up at the Marlborough's 
 Head." A public-house, a huge elm-tree, 
 whose roots seemed all above ground — an 
 ancient sign, supposed to represent the above 
 warrior, but which might have represented a 
 red lion, a green dragon, a blue boar, or 
 any other natural-historical curio to the casual 
 observer. However, the Head drew a clear 
 bright tap, which our friends tasted while the 
 niaic had her mouth wiped out. Presently 
 the cigars were re-lighted, and they were once 
 more oil'. 
 
 " Eleven miles! " said Ned, who was just 
 shewing Newton what the roan could do.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 107 
 
 The road was hard, dry, and level, and the 
 afternoon clear and bracing. The old mare's 
 hoofs rang a musical, bell-like peal, and the 
 wheels hummed in concert. They were 
 making good running of it. Their spirits 
 rose with the rapid motion, and laugh, jest, 
 and story followed one another in quick 
 succession. Presently, a tall, solitary pine tree 
 appeared in the distance, flanked by a row of 
 poplars. 
 
 " There's Crookham ! " said Ned. A clump 
 of elms just showed itself, and was left behind 
 — a few scattered houses, a green, a church, a 
 pond, sharp round through a gate, and a short 
 avenue, and, " Here we are." 
 
 A capital old-fashioned house just moder- 
 nised enough not to spoil it — with old oak beams 
 traversing in all directions such of the ma- 
 sonry as could be seen between the creepers, 
 which almost smothered it. Twisted and angled 
 chimneys of another period abounded. Ivy 
 and clematis of a hundred years' growth, with
 
 108 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 wonderful climbing roses, which in the summer 
 almost decked with their blossoms the very 
 chimneys, seemed everywhere. A front-gar- 
 den, a trifle high, stiff and prim in form, but 
 charmingly arranged, conservatory, &c, &c. 
 But Newton had not much time to examine 
 externals. The servant stood ready, and took 
 the cart round. 
 
 " Will' — tie that dog up, and send Mr. Dog- 
 vane's things up into the Punch room. There 
 are some things for the young ladies — take 
 them out ; and a turkey for the cook — let her 
 have it." 
 
 Newton was now introduced by his friend 
 to a snug little bed-room, called the Punch 
 room, because it was completely papered with 
 engravings from that periodical — and on every 
 side might be seen those wonderful creations of 
 Leech's pencil. Here was old Briggs, having "a 
 splendid run over a magnificent country," with 
 about twenty pounds of mud upon each foot. 
 There he might have been observed at 1he stee-
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 109 
 
 ple-chase, looking remarkably queer at a very- 
 stiff thorn and paling— as the countryman 
 informs him that " This aint the big 'un, hut 
 the big un's just after you get out of the 
 road, over the double post and rail, and afore 
 you come to the brook." Here you have the 
 " pictur," of a barbel, some 3001bs. weight by 
 the lowest computation, which the host of the 
 Angling Inn is showing to two amazed 
 cockneys as one which " his little boy ketched 
 jest hopposite ;" and there an inimitable bit 
 from the moors — two gentlemen with a dead 
 grouse between them, and the " My bird, I 
 think," of the one, and " Belongs to me, 1 
 fancy," of the other; both of which pithy 
 sentences you can almost see issuing from the 
 supposed speakers' mouths. It was the 
 snuggest of snug rooms. The ivy clustered 
 closely round the window, and in the 
 morning the birds chattered and twit- 
 tered delightfully. The fire was shining 
 brightly.
 
 110 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 "This will do for you, old fellow, eh?" 
 
 asked Ned. 
 
 " Gloriously, thank you ; never was so 
 comfortable in my life ; " and Newton plumped 
 down into a capacious " easy." 
 
 " If you want to smoke, open that door, and 
 the smoke ventilates through the passage 
 beyond, at the other end of which is my room. 
 I forgot to say there's a bit of a hop down- 
 stairs to-night; so, when you have made 
 yourself comfortable, we'll have a mouthful of 
 something here. And I'll explain to you the 
 territory you've invaded. I'll be with you 
 again in two minutes. Ring, if you want any- 
 thing ; " and away went Ned to his own room. 
 
 " By Jove ! " said Newton to himself, 
 looking round upon the unwonted comforts, 
 " I've fallen in for a good thing this time ; our 
 people at home are not up to this kind of 
 thing, so we must try and teach them when 
 we return." Newton had not formed alto- 
 gether a correct notion of Crookham. His
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 1 1 1 
 
 ideas of the country were decidedly in favour 
 of farming, &c. He had formed some vague 
 notion of astonishing the natives and dis- 
 playing to the Bceotian gaze the wonders of 
 London refinement. Surely there is no animal 
 on earth so truly, thoroughly, and naturally 
 conceited, as a pure specimen of a Londoner. 
 However, Newton was wise enough at once to 
 abandon all ideas of doing anything en grand 
 seigneur. He had just finished his arrange- 
 ments, and satisfactorily, when his friend 
 returned, followed by a servant who bore a 
 tray, on which was a raised pie of fair dimen- 
 sions and a bottle or two. 
 
 " Can you do upon this for the present, old 
 fellow?" asked Ned. 
 
 "Well, I'll try to subsist upon it for the 
 time being," answered Newton, spooning 
 away at the contents of the pie at a great 
 rate — nor was Ned far behind him — and in a 
 very short time the pie was reduced to an 
 almost empty crust.
 
 112 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 " Now for a plan of the country, according 
 to promise," said Ned, when the eating and 
 drinking were completed. " Imprimis, there's 
 the Maternity, bless her old heart ! A better 
 woman or a kinder mother doesn't step 
 between this and John o'Groats. Please her 
 children, and you please her; so, as the 
 friend of an important party in that delightful 
 clique, you have every chance of becoming a 
 favourite. Then there's the governor ; you'll 
 be sure to like him, he is such a worthy old 
 boy. Then there's his brother Charles — 
 Uncle Crabb we call him — a retired army 
 surgeon — an undeniable original. He'll insult 
 you, in all probability, the moment you are 
 introduced to him, and possibly ten times a- 
 day afterwards. But everybody knows his 
 way, and consequently no one notices or cares 
 about it. 'Sweetest nut hath sourest rind ; ' 
 Buch is the case with Uncle Crabb; for under 
 an apparently rough exterior lies one of the 
 best and truest hearts that ever beat in
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 113 
 
 mortal man. He is the most inveterate 
 enemy to humbug, and he won't make friends 
 with you in a hurry ; but when he does, you 
 secure him for life. Next come the young 
 ladies, my sisters. Charlotte, the eldest, 
 is a remarkably self-possessed young woman, 
 considerable of a beauty they say. She will 
 win your heart while she laughs in your face ; 
 but you must be something out of the common 
 to win hers. Bessy — my favourite — I won't tell 
 you a word about Bessy, except that I think her 
 the most dangerous of the three, with her dear, 
 quiet, earnest, gentle manner — ware heart 
 there, my boy ; for nothing but the real thing 
 will win Bessy. Cecilia, alias Sissy, alias 
 Baby, alias Topsy, a lisping incarnation of all 
 mischief, wild as a hawk or an unbroken colt. 
 Then there's Trimmer, the young-ladies' maid, 
 a weak-minded young person, who thinks her 
 profile resembles Mary, Queen of Scots. Tell 
 her so, and you win her good will. Tell 
 William, the man, that you believe the old 
 
 VOL. I. I
 
 114 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 mare could do her fourteen and a-half within 
 the hour, and you'll find your account out in 
 that. Ask Jewsbury, the cook, to make you 
 one of her pork pies to take out shooting, and 
 you'll be ' Sitch a nice gentleman, and so 
 haffable like.'" 
 
 Master Ned's advice was not bad, for we 
 have generally found that a little considera- 
 tion of the weaknesses of those who minister 
 to one's comfort produces a decidedly bene 
 ficial effect, go where we will — superior even 
 to half-crowns. 
 
 " There, my boy ! I've given you clear 
 sailing directions, I think, and if you get 
 aground it will be your own fault." 
 
 Scarcely had Ned finished this harangue, 
 when there came a knock at the door, and 
 William entered, holding in his hand what 
 appeared to be a bunch of feathers. 
 
 " Please, sir," said Will, with the slightest 
 possible grin on his face, " Missus Jewsbury 
 wants to know if this be the turkey you said
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 115 
 
 you'd bring? and how you'd like her to cook 
 it?" And AVill held up the object he bore in 
 his hands, displaying to their gaze a mangled, 
 mass of flesh and feathers. Newton stared at 
 it with astonishment, as did his friend for a 
 moment, who then broke out into a loud laugh. 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha! Poor Jewsbury ! What can 
 have befallen the turkey ? for I suppose, from 
 the appearance of the feathers, that is the 
 turkey." 
 
 "Yes, sir, 1 rayther thinks it is wot's left 
 on it, and I 'magines the genleman's pinter 
 fell'd foul on it in the cart ; for he won't eat 
 no supper, and is blowed out terrible." 
 
 Newton looked dreadfully annoyed and 
 upset. " Oh, that wretched Mungo ! '' said 
 he. " It was only last night he devoured a 
 goose." 
 
 " Mungo, by all that's destructive," said 
 his friend, with another burst of laughter ; 
 " Bravo, Mungo ; a goose and a turkey. He's 
 a dog of discrimination, that Mungo of yours, 
 
 i 2
 
 116 NEWTON D06VANE. 
 
 an undeniable epicure, a regular alderman of 
 a Mungo. There, old fellow, don't look so 
 savage over it. It was all my fault for being 
 so indiscreet as to let them travel in such close 
 companionship. Take it away, Will, and tell 
 Mrs. Jewsbury I am sorry for the accident. It 
 can't be helped ; she must do as well as she 
 can without it." And Will returned with the 
 remains of the turkey, as Ned, with another 
 burst of laughter, drowned his friend's apolo- 
 gies ;. and so contagious was his laughter that 
 Newton, in spite of his annoyance, could not 
 help joining in it. At this juncture a tall, 
 well-looking, elderly gentleman entered the 
 room, saying, " What on earth are you boys 
 so uproarious about ? " Ned introduced his 
 friend to his father. The usual compliments 
 passed ; and Ned explained the cause of their 
 merriment, with such little improvements as 
 gave point to the story, so that it even pro- 
 voked the governor's mirth. There is nothing 
 like a good laugh for setting people at their
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 117 
 
 ease ; and the three gentlemen were soon 
 chatting away, "as if," as Newton said, "he 
 was quite one of the family." 
 
 " And now I've some good news. Here's a 
 note of excuse from Sir John Vesey for this 
 evening, and an invitation to any friends of 
 mine to shoot at Dealmount with the party to- 
 morrow. There — will that suit you to com- 
 mence with ? " asked Mr. Bowers. 
 
 " Not at all — oh no ! We're in luck. Best 
 covers within thirty miles, New ! " 
 
 "Indeed!" said New, "that is — a — capi- 
 tal, you know. I'm sure Tm very much de- 
 lighted." Newton began to feel a slight want 
 of confidence in his prowess. 
 
 " Good shot, Mr. Dogvane ? " asked the old 
 gentleman. 
 
 "No — a — not very; that is — not at all," 
 answered Newton, diffidently. 
 
 " Oh, that won't do. It's only your modesty 
 prevents you from speaking highly of your 
 skill. I don't doubt but we shall see you
 
 118 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 double up the long tails in great style to- 
 morrow." 
 
 "And I devoutly hope you mayn't be de- 
 ceived," thought Newton. " If I don't dou- 
 ble up any of my brother sportsmen, I shall 
 have achieved a success." 
 
 " Well, that's my budget. You'd better be 
 thinking about dressing, as it's half-past eight. 
 We are early people in the country, Mr. Dog- 
 vane ; " and with a nod Mr. Bowers left the 
 room. 
 
 Newton thought it would not do to allow 
 his friends to expect too much of him ; and it 
 would be as well to dispossess his friend's mind 
 of any such expectations at once. Accord- 
 ingly he remarked, as if in continuance of the 
 conversation : — 
 
 •• No, I'm not a very good shot — that is, not 
 much of a one. I can hit a standing mark 
 very well." 
 
 "Eh! what!" said Ned, looking up sharply. 
 " Oh, I suppose you mean you are pretty good
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 119 
 
 with the rifle. Yes, I've seen many good rifle- 
 shots indifferent in the field." 
 
 Newton saw he had made some great mis- 
 take ; and, fearing to commit himself further, 
 he held his tongue, and allowed himself to be 
 judged by default. After this Ned retired to 
 his own room, and, their toilets being com- 
 pleted, they descended.
 
 120 
 
 CHAPTEK VIII. 
 
 MUSIC, LIGHTS, AND LADIES. 
 
 Ned drew his friend through the room, which 
 was tolerably filled with company, and intro- 
 duced him to a cheerful, pleasant-looking 
 elderly lady — his mother, Mrs. Bowers — and 
 then turned away to speak to some one. 
 Newton felt awkward amongst so many 
 strangers ; he was a little embarrassed ; his 
 tie — his collar — his gloves — something or 
 other — felt in the way. He tried to say some- 
 thing acceptable about the rooms, but Mrs. 
 Bowers put it on one side ; generalities were 
 not her forte. 
 
 " Now, Mr. Dogvane, as an old schoolfellow
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 121 
 
 and friend of my son's, I intend you and I to 
 be great friends before you leave us ; but, in 
 the mean time, a young lady's society will be 
 preferable to an old one's. Don't say no. It's 
 perfectly natural, though I thank you for your 
 politeness, and will believe that you may tole- 
 rate me at some other time. But now you 
 must dance, and do your devoir to some fair 
 damsel, like a gallant cavalier. Dear me ! 
 the very sight of a light-hearted, joyous dance 
 always does me good. I wish it was the 
 fashion to dance the minuet ; I declare I would 
 actually show these young caperers what we 
 used to do in our days. But such very vio- 
 lent whirling and twirling does not suit me. 
 Ha ! ha ! we can't expect our children to be 
 as grave as ourselves, Mr. Dogvane," and the 
 cheerful old lady laughed heartily. 
 
 Now, by one of those strange coincidences, 
 it did happen that New r ton, some two years 
 before, having to take a part in a charade, had 
 actually learnt a minuet, which he danced in
 
 122 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 character on the occasion ; and his master, an 
 elderly Frenchman, who had bestowed no little 
 pains on him, pronounced his performance of 
 it as passable; so Newton jokingly remarked 
 that, if Mrs. Bowers wanted a partner for a 
 minuet, he should be only too delighted to be 
 allowed to be her cavalier on the occasion. 
 
 " Nonsense, Mr. Dogvane ; you don't mean 
 to say that you can dance a minuet," said the 
 old lady, glancing for a moment at his figure, 
 which was slight and not ungraceful. 
 
 " Indeed, but I do," quoth Newton. 
 
 At this moment a young lady came up and 
 said, with a slight lisp : — 
 
 "Mamma, whereth Captain Steventh ? 
 Tharlotte is au desethpoir." 
 
 " Silence, you minx," said the old lady. 
 "This is my youngest daughter, Cecilia — 
 Little Mischief, we call her, Mr. Dogvane." 
 Newton bowed. "Here's Mr. Dogvane actu- 
 ally offering to be my cavalier in a minuet, 
 Sissy : and positively I've half a mind to oblige
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 123 
 
 him, if it's only to show you that what you 
 call dancing is nothing but vulgar racing and 
 galloping." 
 
 " Oh, Ma ! what fun ! You must dance a 
 minuet. You shall dance one. Besides, you 
 really do it so very gracefully, Ma. Oh, I'm 
 determined you shall dance one ! " — and away 
 hurried Sissy. 
 
 " There, Mr. Dogvane, you have spoilt my 
 peace of mind for the evening, and you must 
 get me out of the scrape. Of course, I was 
 only joking. But I'd better get out of the 
 way, or nothing short of a minuet will satisfy 
 that mischievous puss. Charles," she con- 
 tinued to a gentleman who was passing, "this 
 is Edward's friend, Mr. Dogvane — my brother 
 Charles. Will you see that Mr. Dogvane gets 
 a partner ? " and she bowed, and turned 
 away. 
 
 The gentleman, whom she had introduced 
 NeAvton to, was a tall, thin, weather-beaten- 
 looking man, with a scar on his left cheek-
 
 124 NEKTON DOGVANE. 
 
 bone, which he had received while following 
 his vocation in the trenches before Badajos. 
 
 " Friend of that young puppy's, eh ! " said 
 Uncle Crabb, eyeing Newton all over. "Ah!" 
 staring at him over his spectacles. " I see. 
 Order, cockney ; genus, gent. How d'ye do, 
 sir ? Pleased to know you. At least, when 
 I say pleased, don't take that as a compliment 
 which is only an unmeaning form of speech. 
 Come down to show us how to dance, and 
 shoot, and so forth, I suppose? I've seen 
 many of your sort laughed at for their pains." 
 
 This was pretty well for a first introduction. 
 Newton thought so too. 
 
 " I hope your criticism may prove in- 
 correct," he said. " I don't pretend to much 
 skill as a shot ; and it is not my fault, you 
 know, if I am a Cockney ; I didn't choose 
 my birthplace, lint even had I done so, 
 I don't know that I should have altered it. 
 The gent, however, I repudiate." 
 
 " What d'ye wear such a coat as that for
 
 NEWTON D()G YANK. 125 
 
 then?" asked the old gentleman, pointing to 
 Newton's worked silk facings. 
 
 " Hem ! " coughed Newton, a little nettled, 
 and colouring slightly. " What do you wear 
 such a coat as that for?" pointing to Uncle 
 Crabb's square-cut skirt, and turning the 
 tables. 
 
 "Confound your impudence!" said Uncle 
 Crabb, evidently more pleased than offended. 
 " To be sure, mine is a little square-cut, 
 but I don't like to give up an old 
 fashion." 
 
 " Then why do you want me to give up 
 a new one?" retorted Newton. 
 
 " Hem, ehem ! Here, Charley !" and Uncle 
 Crabb caught a young lady who was passing 
 by the wrist, and drew her towards him. 
 " Let me introduce Mr. Dogvane to you. 
 My eldest niece, Mr. Dogvane, Miss Bowers. 
 Young Cockney, chock full of conceit, my 
 dear; go and take some of it out of him. 
 Don't get spooney on her, Dogberry ; she'll
 
 126 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 only laugh at you, and she's as bad tampering 
 with as a hand-grenade." 
 
 " Let those laugh who win," thought 
 Newton, as, with this strange introduction, he 
 took Miss Bowers's arm within his, and walked 
 down the room. She was a splendid girl, 
 that Charlotte Bowers, with those magnificent 
 eyes of hers, her fine bust, long thick glossy 
 hair dressed coronet-wise. That fashion, 
 by-the-bye, does not suit every woman, though 
 they all think it does. Ay, she looked and 
 walked every inch a queen. And what a 
 melting liquid voice she had; what a clear 
 musical laugh ; what pungent wit. How she 
 could pick either friend or foe to pieces, until 
 it would have been impossible for all the 
 king's horses and all the king's men to have 
 set them together again to your satisfaction. 
 Newton was dazzled and astonished. A 
 quadrille was forming, and he got into it 
 Bomehow; he felt nervous and agitated, and, 
 what was worse, he showed it. The belle of
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 127 
 
 the room — and such a belle, too ! AY hat 
 should he begin to talk about ? for Miss Bowers 
 did not look entirely pleased. 
 
 " Very warm," said Newton, as a matter 
 of course. Now it was not very warm ; so 
 his partner looked at him with some little 
 surprise, and then said : — 
 
 " Indeed, I don't find it so." 
 
 " Ah, ah, I meant very cold," said Newton, 
 confused. 
 
 " Indeed, I don't feel that either." 
 
 Newton was shut up ; he retired within 
 himself, like a telescope, or an alarmed 
 snail. 
 
 " Uncommonly decided sort of young lady," 
 thought Newton, as he strove hard to hit upon 
 the right topic. 
 
 " Fond of dancing, Miss Bowers ? " asked 
 Newton, making a mistake in the figure at the 
 same time. 
 
 " Yes," answered Miss Bowers, " when I've 
 a good partner."
 
 128 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 This was so atrociously rude, that Newton 
 was rolled over like a rabbit Avhittled with 
 small shot. 
 
 Miss Bowers felt that she owed an amende; 
 so she asked Newton "if he was fond of the 
 country, and Avhether he did not find it a 
 great change?" This induced a little con- 
 versation on the relative merits of town and 
 country, during which a remarkably handsome, 
 well-dressed man, with a heavy moustache and 
 soldierly air, who had been talking for a minute 
 or two to Mrs. Bowers, made his way to 
 Charlotte's side. 
 
 " Miss Bowers, may I. hope for the pleasure 
 of the next waltz ? " 
 
 Miss Charlotte's eyes glistened, and her 
 colour deepened a trifle ; but she answered 
 with strange perversity : — 
 
 " Thank you, Captain Stevens, I am en- 
 gaged to Mr. Dogvane. Captain Stevens, 
 Mr. Dogvane — a friend of my brother's." 
 
 Captain Stevens became aware of Air.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 129 
 
 Dogvane's presence, and Mr. Dogvane was 
 distantly conscious of Captain Stevens's. They 
 smiled an alligator-like smile. The Captain 
 could have devoured Newton, and Newton 
 could have kicked the Captain with all the 
 pleasure in life, as Charlotte's fine eye rested 
 on him with an expression of kindness for a 
 moment. Poor Newton ! he little knew to 
 what he owed that glance. The fact is, the 
 Captain was late, and Miss Bowers tiffed. 
 
 A waltz struck up. We have said that 
 Newton was doubtful about his waltzing, and, 
 had he had time to think over it, he would 
 have tried to back out of the honour so unex- 
 pectedly bestowed on him. But Charlotte's 
 hand was on his shoulder, and off they went. 
 The first two or three turns NeAvton succeeded 
 in beyond his expectation, for Charlotte was 
 an unexceptionable waltzer ; but a reckless 
 attempt at the " renverse" completely upset 
 him. He couldn't get round; he knew he 
 couldn't when he attempted it. Why did 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 130 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 he ? He felt he was going. There — he 
 missed step, trod on his partner's toe, kicked 
 her shin, and finally was hurled, in his con- 
 fusion, out of the circle, by the dashing, 
 rushing, meteor-like Captain, who had ob- 
 tained another partner, and was darting 
 hither, thither, here, there, everywhere, with 
 perfect precision. 
 
 " I think we had better sit down, sir," said 
 Charlotte, in utter disgust at having been 
 beaten at her own game. 
 
 " Indeed," said Newton, " I think so too ; 
 I am extremely sorry that I attempted to 
 waltz, not being very good at it." 
 
 " Pray, don't mention it, sir, it is not of 
 the least consequence," answered the beautiful 
 girl. " My sister, Cecilia — excuse me one 
 moment — Sissy, dear, will you take my place 
 one moment?" — and Charlotte, with a slight 
 bend, glided away. Miss Sissy took her seat 
 with all the coolness in life, and commenced a 
 conversation with Newton as easily as if she
 
 NEWTON DOGVAXE. 131 
 
 had known him for months. There was no 
 rnauvaise honte about Sissy. 
 
 " Oh Mithter Dogvane ! the minueth ficth'd 
 for the first dance after supper. You'll have 
 to do it, tho' you'd better make up your mind 
 to it. There'th Tom Tharp, with her Lacly- 
 thip and the Baroneth, hith thithterth." But, 
 as it is easier to talk in a lisp than to Avrite, 
 or rather read in one, our readers will bear in 
 mind that Sissy does lisp, which will be 
 sufficient for our purpose. " We call them/' 
 she continued, " her Ladyship and the Ba- 
 roness, because they are so awfully grand. 
 Now, directly anyone is introduced to him, 
 or he meets an acquaintance, he begins to 
 run down all the other girls in the room — 
 says they look ill, and what a pity they sit 
 up so late reading novels, or some such stuff. 
 Very ill-natured, isn't it ? Stay now — see 
 how I'll serve him out ; I'll shut him up. 
 Here, Ted ! " to her brother, who was passing 
 with a lady on his arm — a fair, retiring- 
 ly 2
 
 132 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 looking girl, with chestnut hah', and very blue 
 eyes, who had been standing near Newton 
 and Charlotte during the quadrille. " Here, 
 Bessie ! " said the young mischief-maker ; 
 " Come here — such fun ; I'm going to shut 
 up Tom Sharp, — only I want a witness or 
 two." 
 
 The couple turned towards them. 
 
 " Mr. Dogvane, my sister Bessie," said Ned. 
 
 A quiet, lady-like bow was the response. 
 What very blue eyes ! How clear and honest 
 they were ! Newton thought Bessie not only 
 pretty, but — well, never mind what he thought. 
 They were a good deal together during the 
 evening. 
 
 "Well, what is it, Sissy?" 
 
 " There's Tom Sharp, Ned." 
 
 " I see him." 
 
 " lie's coming towards us, and he'll say 
 ' how ill Charlotte and Bessie are looking.' " 
 
 " Very likely ; it won't be the first time by 
 a score."
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 133 
 
 " No. Then he'll say how well his sisters 
 look, what a get up theirs is, and all that. 
 Now I'll have a bit of fun. You and Mr. 
 Dogvane, sit here. Come along, Bessie ; " 
 and drawing her sister off, away slipped 
 Sissy, just as the gentleman in question 
 came up. He was a vulgar, insignificant- 
 looking little man, troubled with a watch- 
 chain and a shirt-collar, of Chartist principles, 
 with red hair, (it was always apparently 
 standing up for its rights). 
 
 " How de do, Bowers ? How de do ? By 
 the way, (sinking his voice), how very ill 
 Charlotte and Bessie are looking ! Is there 
 auything the matter? Charlotte is so very 
 pale ; and, dear Bessie — do you know, if I 
 were you, I should insist upon her taking 
 cod-liver oil? Finest thing in the world 
 for—" 
 
 " Dear me ! I hadn't noticed." 
 
 " Oh ! everybody is remarking it, every- 
 body. It makes me quite melancholy." Ned
 
 134 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 here, as was expected, introduced his friend. 
 " How well the girls look to-night, don't 
 they ? " putting his head a little on one side, 
 and looking like an elderly jackdaw at two 
 tolerable looking girls of affected manners, 
 who sat on an ottoman hard by. "How 
 well they do get up ! I've seen a few girls in 
 their war-paint in my time, sir ; but the way 
 those girls do do it, when they mean doing it, 
 is, you know, astonishing." 
 
 All this was said with an occasional glance 
 at Newton. He was angling for the new man. 
 A new man was a consideration to the Sharps, 
 as Sissy would say, "they could not afford 
 to lose an opportunity." 
 
 Sissy and Bessie here approached. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Sharp ! I'm so glad to see you ; 
 I've been longing to ask you what is the 
 matter with Gerty and Louise ? They do look 
 so ill, I declare I'm quite alarmed. Can I get 
 them anything? Don't you think a bath, 
 some hot water, or something? Gerty turned
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 135 
 
 quite green just now as I was standing by her, 
 and you know that's just as they say she did 
 before she had the shingles last year ? Can I 
 do anything? Do advise them to let Dr. 
 Sardine see them." 
 
 " Eh ! what ! 'pon my word, I really don't 
 see. I was just saying that — eh ! I don't 
 observe." He looked at Sissy, but Sissy was 
 as grave as a judge. Bessie was looking with 
 great earnestness at a picture, but there was 
 just the faintest twitching about the corner of 
 Ned's mouth ; and Mr. Sharp, muttering 
 something about " engaged, polka, partner," 
 made his escape, feeling, as the least possible 
 indication of a titter reached him, that he 
 had decidedly missed " the new man." 
 
 Captain Stevens and Miss Charlotte had 
 evidently, at length, arranged matters more 
 satisfactorily. Captain Stevens's regiment 
 was in Canterbury. He was evidently 
 something more than the mere friend of 
 the house ; and he was a real captain,
 
 136 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 a handsome captain — a man of good for- 
 tune. He was, one of the most accom- 
 plished men in London. He could ride, fence, 
 shoot, dress, dance, sing, and talk better than 
 Newton had ever seen any private individual 
 do either. He was, in ladies' society, a 
 Paris, an Apollo ; in men's, an uncommonly 
 good fellow — a Crichton at all games, and a 
 graceful, all-accomplished athlete. Had New- 
 ton thought of entering the lists against the 
 Captain, it would have been utterly hopeless ; 
 but Bessie's quiet manner and lively, well- 
 informed conversation were rapidly effacing 
 any impression her more showy sister's charms 
 had made on Newton. 
 
 The party went on as most parties do. 
 Charlotte, after a time, was induced to sing 
 "just one song," which she did. Sissy, 
 having ascertained by glancing at a portfolio 
 left by Mr. Sharp in the hall what the 
 I baroness's last new song was, had communi- 
 cated the interesting intelligence to her
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 137 
 
 highly -accomplished sister, who, as a matter of 
 course, happened to have it. What was there 
 new or pretty in that way which the Captain 
 did not take care to bring her? Of course 
 she happened to choose that very identical 
 song, and sang it with a taste and style which 
 left no room for rivalry, hut snuffed out the 
 Baroness completely ; " Though really," as 
 Sissy said, "the poor old Baroness had 
 a very nice voice indeed, and sang charmingly 
 when you could hear her. But the great 
 thing of the evening was the minuet. They 
 were determined to have it ; so as soon as 
 the first waltz after supper was completed, 
 the old lady and Newton had no rest until 
 they stood up to perform. Newton was, of 
 course, in some little trepidation, as when he 
 had danced it before he did so to a roomful of 
 friends, with all of whom he was on the most 
 intimate terms. Moreover, his partner and 
 himself had rehearsed it at least twenty times. 
 Now, almost every face was strange to him,
 
 138 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 and the applause which greeted them helped 
 to render him a little confused. After the 
 first step or two, however, he recovered his 
 equanimity, and, as Ned said, " went to work 
 at pointing his toe and squaring his elbows 
 like one o'clock." But to mark the air of 
 antique grace, the serious courtesy, of the 
 dear old lady herself, and the way that they 
 bowed, glissaded, advanced and retreated, was 
 a marvel to remark. It was a great thing ; 
 and Newton gained immense *ss« with the 
 young ladies, who looked upon him as a 
 master of deportment and grace, and a most 
 self-sacrificing and obliging young fellow. 
 Mr. Bowers than ked him warmly. As for Mrs. 
 Bowers, to say that she was delighted when 
 she said, " she liked a little bit of fun like 
 that dearly," would not have been saying 
 half enough. Even Uncle Crabb smiled 
 grimly ; and Ned, slapping him on the back, 
 said, " he was a deuced good old cock." But 
 the praise which he prized most was Bessie's,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 139 
 
 who said, as she thanked him, " that she had 
 not seen mamma so cheerful for months ; 
 and she really believed that Mr. Dogvane 
 had put half a year's life into her, and done 
 her more good than all the doctors."
 
 140 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A DAY WITH THE LONG TAILS. 
 
 Breakfast. It was a rule at Mr. Bowers' 
 that, barring illness, every member of his 
 family should appear at breakfast in proper 
 morning costume ; and a very excellent rule 
 it is. There was no down-at-heel, slip-shod, 
 unkempt, onestringed untidiness at Mr. 
 Bowers' breakfast-table. His family might sit 
 up as late as they liked, and they might go to 
 bed again after breakfast, if they chose, but at 
 breakfast, he would have them neat, clean, 
 and wholesome. If a woman looks lovely by 
 waxlight in gorgeous evening costume, how 
 much more lovely and lovable is she in her
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 141 
 
 neat morning dress — clear as driven snow — as 
 she sits at the breakfast-table before the 
 hissing urn. Trust me, a woman can, if 
 she chooses, be more dangerous to a 
 man's peace of mind in the morning than in 
 the evening, if she only knows it. The 
 papers made their appearance, letters were 
 read and answered, and the gentlemen sepa- 
 rated to prepare for shooting. Newton went 
 up stairs, put on his plaids, and, having suffi- 
 ciently admired himself in them, descended 
 and passed the breakfast-room window on his 
 way to the stables in search of Mungo. 
 Tncle Crabb was standing at the win- 
 dow ; Newton's radiant plaid caught his 
 eye. 
 
 "Ay, ay! — why, what's this ? ' : he ex- 
 claimed. " A rainbow, by Jove ! " 
 
 " A rainbow ! " said the young ladies, 
 incredulously. 
 
 " A rainbow ! " repeated Captain Stevens, 
 Mr. Bowers, and Ned, all at once, and each
 
 142 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 hurrying to the window to view the pheno- 
 menon. 
 
 " It's either a rainbow or a very brilliant 
 species of horticultural curiosity/' said Uncle 
 Crabb. " Surely the gardener hasn't been 
 striking out something new in holly-hocks." 
 
 "Horticultural, decidedly," said Captain 
 Stevens, looking over his shoulders. " Why 
 really, Ned, I do think it's your friend 
 Dogberry." 
 
 " Dogvane," said Ned, markedly, feeling a 
 little nettled, but laughing in spite of himself. 
 
 " Dogvane, certainly — ah ! Couldn't you 
 prevail on the gardener, Miss Charlotte, to 
 cover him up with a bell-glass? Decided 
 ornament to the middle bed there." 
 
 " For shame, Capt. Stevens ! you really are 
 too bad ; and you ought to know better than 
 to do so, Uncle Crabb. Edward, why do you 
 let them make fun of your friend ? " said 
 Bessie, trying hard herself to repress a laugh. 
 While Xt'\\ ton, unconscious of the amusement
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 143 
 
 he was creating, moved off in search of 
 M nngo. 
 
 The party assembled — black, grey, and 
 sober green. Newton felt himself conspicuous, 
 and not altogether at his ease. 
 
 " Very pretty plaid that, Mr. Dogvane — 
 What do you call it ? " 
 
 " I believe it is called the Macdoodle tar- 
 tan," said Newton, shortly. 
 
 " Very likely. Let me advise you, if you 
 go anywhere near Holm Close, or the Ponds, 
 ' to beware of the bull, ' " said Uncle Crabb, 
 as he ascended to his seat in Capt. Stevens's 
 cart. Newton said nothing, but blushed 
 deeply ; and, as the young ladies were looking 
 at them from the window, he got out of sight 
 as much as possible behind the dog- cart, which 
 was waiting for Ned and himself, and preten- 
 ded to be very busy over Mungo, who was 
 once more committed to the interior of the 
 cart, but this time in company with a setter 
 of Ned's, instead of a turkey. Possibly the ar-
 
 144 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 rangement was not quite so much to histaste; for 
 a series of short fights commenced, interspersed 
 with snappings and growls. William jumped 
 up behind, and, administering a few vigorous 
 kicks and pokes from time to time to the bel- 
 ligerents, kept them a little in order. Uncle 
 Crabb and the Captain were already well ahead 
 of them, and the delicate scent of their cigars 
 hung on the sharp morning air. How enjoy- 
 able is the short drive which takes you to your 
 sport on a fine November morning, with a good 
 day's shooting in prospectu, in company with 
 a pleasant party, over covers you have never 
 shot before ! Ned was in high spirits, but 
 somehow Newton was fidgetty. He knew 
 that something was expected of him, and he 
 also knew that it was not in him. He did 
 not know what he was to do with Mungo. 
 lie knew that " To-ho ! " was a proper thing 
 to say to him upon some particular occasion ; 
 but what that occasion was lie did not know. 
 Then the plaid, which that mendacious clothier
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 145 
 
 Lad informed him "was all the thing," he had 
 found out to be " not the thing at all," but a 
 subject of marked surprise to his sporting 
 friends. He lighted a cigar ; let it out ; 
 lighted it again ; threw it away ; kicked 
 Mungo, who was biting his trowsers, and who 
 instantly commenced worrying them in good 
 earnest, and would have treated himself to a 
 mouthful of the Macdoodle, had not Ned's 
 setter taken the opportunity to create a diver- 
 sion by biting Mungo's leg, who forthwith re- 
 newed the combat with his fellow-traveller ; 
 and another fit of towzling, biting, and growl- 
 ing took place, in the midst of which they 
 turned in at a lodge gate, and, after some 
 half a mile's drive through a perfect shubbery 
 of rhododendrons, they drew up before a hand- 
 some country-seat. Dealmount was situated 
 on a slight eminence. In front of it, a spark- 
 ling river ran between smooth green banks, 
 where, on fine summer evenings, Ned occasion- 
 ally persuaded a two or three pound trout or so 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 146 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 to test the virtues of the white-coated " coach- 
 man," or an enlarged edition of the " alder." 
 Behind the house, and stretching far away in 
 the distance, were the well-wooded covers of 
 Dealmount. The grounds appeared to be well 
 laid out and looked after. Keepers and grooms 
 were leading away the newly-arrived convey- 
 ances, coupling dogs, putting together guns, 
 and filling shot-pouches, &c. A stout, jolly- 
 looking gentleman was shaking hands with 
 Captain Stevens and Uncle Crabb ; five or 
 six other gentlemen, equipped for shooting, 
 were lounging in and out of two open win- 
 dows, smoking or doing cherry brandy, ale, 
 or other drinkables, which were dispensed to 
 them by a plethoric butler, Mr. Bateman, and 
 a neat-handed Phillis, Sarah, Mary, Jane, 
 Susan, or Eliza, as the case might be, or the 
 gentleman's taste dictate. From one to the 
 other she tripped, with a ready smile for 
 each pretty thing that was said to her 
 by the guests — despite the frowns of
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 147 
 
 Mr. Bateman, who was very weak in that 
 quarter. 
 
 Sir John Vasey was a bachelor Baronet — 
 liberal, hearty, and free — a perfect specimen 
 of a country gentleman. I don't mean of a 
 bumpkin, for he had taken honours, was a 
 very well-informed man, and a perfect prince 
 of good fellows — a kind landlord, a thorough 
 farmer, an excellent neighbour, and a first- 
 rate sportsman. He had chosen his role, and 
 had never felt any inclination to alter it. In 
 the seasons, he hunted, shot, or fished, three 
 days in the week ; the other three he devoted 
 to his estate, his poorer neighbours, and his 
 magisterial duties. He refused the mastership 
 of the hounds, though he contributed largely 
 to their support. He had again and again 
 refused the honour, if honour it be, of sitting 
 in Parliament — not that he shirked the duties, 
 or felt unequal to the position — very far from 
 it, but he refused upon the plea that there 
 were rogues and fools enough near home without 
 
 L 2
 
 148 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 his going all the way to Westminster to find 
 them. It will be judged from this that Sir 
 John troubled not his mind with politics. 
 This would be hardly correct. In all foreign 
 matters he appeared to take much interest, 
 but he seemed to have made up his mind as 
 regarded home politics, and to have given 
 them up as a bad job. Consequently, he had 
 neither voted, nor in any way interfered in an 
 election for years. Oar friends got down, and 
 after shaking hands with the jolly-looking- 
 gentleman at the door, Ned introduced his 
 friend, Mr. Dogvane — a gentleman from Lon- 
 don, desirous of signalising himself in Sir 
 John's covers — to Sir John Vasey. Sir John 
 looked at Newton with rather a quizzical ex- 
 pression of countenance, but shook hands with 
 him, and welcomed him warmly. 
 
 Newton began to look about him ; he 
 became conscious that he formed a point of 
 attraction, or rather observation, to the gen- 
 tlemen at the window. More blacks, greys,
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 149 
 
 and greens — not a single plaid beyond the 
 simplest shepherd plaid among them ; and he 
 felt more strongly than ever that plaids were 
 anything but " the thing," as he overheard 
 Mr. Buncomb, the head keeper, remark to 
 Mr. Bateman, the butler, " It was the first 
 time he ever see a snuff-shop out a-shootin'." 
 To which Mr. Bateman responded that, " He 
 'oped no one would mistake it for a cock- 
 pheasant, which wasn't unlikely." 
 
 They entered the room, where were frag- 
 ments of an extensive breakfast, to which one 
 or two gentlemen were still devoting them- 
 selves. But, as they had already breakfasted, 
 Newton took nothing but one small glass of 
 cherry-brandy- 
 
 " Now, gentlemen," said Sir John, " if you 
 are ready, we will make a start ; " and, after 
 holding a short conference with Mr. Buncomb, 
 he said, " Mr. Wilson and Mr. Chamney had 
 better take the lower side of Coverly Dean — 
 will you shoot with Captain Stevens, Charles ?
 
 150 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 I think you had better." Uncle Crabb 
 nodded, and carefully adjusted his specs. 
 " Then you had better take the upper side. 
 Neddy, my boy, where will you shoot ? " 
 
 " I think," answered Ned, with a glance at 
 Newton, who was handling the Lancaster in 
 rather a doubtful manner, " Mr. Dogvane and 
 m . self had better take the outside" 
 
 " Thank you," said Sir John, with a curious 
 glance in the same direction ; " thank you — 
 so you had." 
 
 Mr. Buncomb gave a great sigh, as if a 
 heavy weight was taken off his mind by this 
 arrangement. 
 
 "Mr. Buncomb," said Sir John, turning 
 sharply on that dignitary ; " have the good- 
 ness not to repeat that remarkably imper- 
 tinent and -offensive noise." Mr. Buncomb 
 looked foolish, and, to speak figuratively, put 
 his tail between his legs, and marched to the 
 rear — to the huge, but secret, delight of some 
 of his under-satellites, one of whom grinned,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 151 
 
 and whispered to another that " Buncomb was 
 winged." 
 
 Sir John then gave directions to the other 
 division of the party, and off they started, 
 Buncomb leading Mungo and the setter in a 
 string, while a well-trained retriever followed 
 at his heels. Sir John walked with our two 
 friends — possibly he foresaw some fun in 
 Newton. 
 
 " Don't you shoot, Sir John? " asked Ned, 
 seeing that the Baronet carried no gun. 
 
 " Not to-day, Ned ; plenty without me," 
 said the good-natured host. " Besides," he 
 continued, " I sprained my wrist slightly 
 yesterday." 
 
 They crossed a stile. The parties sepa- 
 rated, each couple of gentlemen taking an 
 under-keeper with them. 
 
 Before our party lay a strip of turnips. 
 
 " Birds here," said Mr. Buncomb, loosening 
 the setter's collar, and then pulling Mungo 
 (who had been straining at the string till his
 
 152 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 eyes were almost starting from bis head) over 
 on his back, and giving him a smart whack 
 with an ash-stick by way of remonstrance. 
 Mungo got up, sulkily enough, and shook 
 himself, but he regarded Mr. Buncomb hence- 
 forth with an evil eye ; — however, he bided 
 his time. 
 
 It was a beautiful morning for shooting. 
 The slight hoar-frost had yielded to the sun, 
 and the turnips were a trifle damp. Indeed, 
 before we go any further, we may mention 
 that the trifle increased as they walked on, and 
 Newton's plaid, not being of fast colours, soon 
 presented a singular appearance from the 
 knees downwards. 
 
 They drew the strip of turnips blank. 
 
 " Too wet — not off the stubble yet," mur- 
 mured Buncomb. 
 
 " I think Buncomb's right," said Sir John. 
 "The birds are still on the stubble. No, 
 there they are " — the setter had stopped at 
 the hedge.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 153 
 
 " In the stubble, for all that," said Bun- 
 comb, — " t'other side o' the hedge." 
 
 At this moment there was a loud report 
 of a gun some two fields off. 
 
 "Ha!" said Sir John, "there goes the 
 Captain, opening the ball with his 24- 
 pounder." 
 
 " Then somethin's gone'd to grass, or I 
 ain't no profit" (Buncomb for prophet), said 
 Mr. Buncomb. " The Captn do shoot owda- 
 cious well with that large bore of hisn." 
 
 " Now Mr. Dogvane, look alive — forward," 
 said Sir John. " There are the birds. Follow 
 Ned through the gap." 
 
 It was all very well for Sir John to say, 
 " Look alive." As it was, Newton only looked 
 nervous. " There are the birds, eh ?" thought 
 Newton, who expected to see something 
 similar to a flock of geese on a moor. " I 
 wonder where they are ; and how they know 
 that they're there. I'm sure I can't see 
 them." He had been walking some twenty
 
 154 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 yards apart, and had not noticed the dog ; 
 and, as he passed to the gap, he now for the 
 first time saw the setter standing at the hedge 
 like a statue, some forty yards down. He 
 had never seen a dog make a point before. 
 " Dear me !" he said, " how he stares ! Look 
 at that dog. There's surely something the 
 matter with him. He's in a lit. He must 
 be. That's it. Ned, Ned," he called to his 
 friend, who had just struggled through the 
 hedge, " Ned, here's your dog in a fit. 
 Hadn't Mr. Buncomb better run home for a 
 handful of salt. They say it's a good thing 
 for a dog in a fit." 
 
 Newton had heard so, at any rate, and re- 
 solved to show off his knowledge. 
 
 There was a slight whirr, a " confound it !" 
 from Ned, and a roar of laughter from Sir 
 John and Buncomb, in which, after a moment 
 of vexation, Ned joined heartily, as the birds 
 got oil untouched. 
 
 " Ha, ha, ha! a fit!" said Sir John.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 155 
 
 " Ho, ho, ho ! a fit ! " said Ned ; " capital ; 
 yes, a fit ! oh ! to be sure ! " 
 
 " Well," said Mr. Buncomb, repressing his 
 mirth, " if that aint the best I ever did hear ! 
 Oh Lor' ! " 
 
 " Well, but," said Newton, looking in as- 
 tonishment from one to the other, " wasn't 
 he in a fit? I never saw a dog look so 
 strangely in my life." 
 
 As if to disclaim any trace of indisposition, 
 the setter, after snuffing at the hedge once 
 more, came trotting up to them as orderly as 
 possible, to Newton's surprise. 
 
 " Got over the attack safely and pro-vi- 
 dentially," said Mr. Buncomb. 
 
 "Well; but wasn't he, you know?" re- 
 peated Newton, turning from one to the 
 other. 
 
 Sir John was trying to recover his gravity ; 
 Ned was still laughing ; and Mr. Buncomb 
 answered : — 
 
 " Well, ye see, sir, when they has them
 
 156 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 sort of fits, which I 'opes you'll see the dogs 
 often troubled with to-day, it's as well not to 
 holler too loud, 'cause the birds don't like 
 the sound of the voice no how; and unless 
 we fetches some o' that salt you spoke 
 on, and can get to drop it on their tails, 
 I'm very much afeared we sha'n't catch many 
 on 'em." 
 
 " Never mind, my dear sir ; it's of no con- 
 sequence. Pray excuse my rudeness. Bun- 
 comb, hold your tongue," said Sir John. 
 " But, really, the notion was so very original 
 that — ha, ha ! yes, a fit ! I beg your pardon." 
 And Sir John speedily enlightened Newton on 
 " the point." 
 
 " Bless my soul ! what a fool I am," thought 
 Newton, " and what an ass and a muff they 
 must think me. I wish I'd stayed at 
 home." 
 
 They had not proceeded far, when the 
 setter, who was ranging over a little bit of 
 rough stuff, dropped suddenly.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 157 
 
 " Nuther fit, sir," whispered Buncomb, to 
 Newton. " Look out." 
 
 " Come on, New," said Ned ; " it's of no 
 use trying to get round them. They won't 
 break easily, and we shall only be wasting 
 time." And Ned walked straight to the 
 dog. 
 
 A loud whirr ; bang, bang, went Ned's two 
 barrels ; and Newton saw an indistinct vision, 
 through the smoke, of certain small brown 
 objects skimming away over the next hedge, 
 before he could well recover his surprise and 
 excitement. 
 
 " Did you hit any of them ? " asked 
 Newton. 
 
 The retriever came walking up, bearing a 
 partridge in his mouth. 
 
 " Why didn't you fire ? '' asked Ned, as he 
 was re-loading. 
 
 "Me? Oh! I didn't see them soon 
 enough," answered Newton, blushing. 
 
 " Didn't see them soon enough ! Why, it
 
 158 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 wasn't above a twenty yards rise. How 
 much sooner do you expect to see them in 
 November ? " 
 
 "Well, I don't know, but they flew up so very 
 suddenly, and flew away so very swiftly, and 
 there was such a whirring, that I — " 
 
 " Ah ! that's a way they've got." 
 
 " And a werry puzzlin' way, too, to young 
 'ands, added Mr. Buncomb. 
 
 " I believe you," quoth Newton. 
 
 " Bad shot, Neddy," said the Baronet ; 
 " you didn't kill either of the birds clean ; the 
 one you've got was a runner, and the other 
 one is dead in the hedge." 
 
 " Never can shoot with this gun," 
 answered Ned. 
 
 " Then what do you shoot with it for ? — 
 pshaw ! The gun is good enough — you shot 
 behind them both, and if you were shooting at 
 B ue Rocks in a wind, you wouldn't kill two 
 in a dozen. Take Nep, Buncomb, and 
 retrieve that bird. It's about thirty yards to
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 159 
 
 the right of that holly-bush." And away 
 went Buncomb with Nep, and in a few 
 minutes returned with the bird. 
 
 Meanwhile they had reached the cover side, 
 and shot after shot was heard within. The 
 boughs crashed as the beaters pushed through. 
 " Look out above — hare gone up — hi there 
 below ! — mark ! — mar-r-r-k ! " Whirr, crash, 
 rattle, bang! Hares, rabbits, pheasants, 
 scurried away in all directions, but mostly 
 forwards. 
 
 A cock pheasant comes sailing out, and 
 falls a lifeless lump to Ned's fire — another 
 rushes up into the air, out of the ditch at 
 Newton's side, the sun shining and glittering 
 on his plumage. The noise it makes quite 
 scares Newton for a moment, who doesn't 
 recover himself till the pheasant is well out of 
 shot, when he fires both barrels, the second at 
 about 150 yards. It is needless to say it was 
 untouched. 
 
 " That's a werry good rule o' yourn, sir,"
 
 160. NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 said Bunconib, who had watched the per- 
 formance with interest, " not to fire at 'em 
 too close, 'cos, you sees, if you fires 
 at 'em too close, you blows 'em all to 
 pieces." Newton only Avished he could have 
 the luck to blow one all to pieces, he'd 
 be quite content to pick him up by instal- 
 ments. 
 
 "You let him get a leetle too far, New," 
 said his friend, with a smile. " Hit or miss, 
 blaze at them a little quicker." 
 
 And now the fun within grew fast and furious. 
 Scarcely a minute elapsed without the roar 
 of two or three barrels, when " Mark cock " — 
 glorious sound — " mark! — mar-r-k cock ! " and 
 three barrels, one after another, followed the 
 announcement. 
 
 " Mark cock ! mar-r-k ! " 
 
 "Close at hand, by Jove! look out," and 
 the bird came shooting through the tree-tops, 
 as fair a shot as man could wish for. Bang — 
 bang — went both Ned's barrels at him,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. -161 
 
 without apparently rumpling a feather as the 
 bird sped on. 
 
 " Too quick ! " said Sir John. 
 
 Newton, of course, had never seen a 
 woodcock on the wing, and was watching the 
 flight of the bird without the most distant 
 intention of firing at it. It seemed an 
 absurdity, an impertinence, for him to fire. 
 
 " Blaze at him, New ! What are you 
 about ? " sung out Ned, directly he saw he had 
 missed the bird, which was now a good fifty 
 yards off. New r ton hastily raised his gun and 
 fired ; his eye was still on the bird. So 
 quickly did he pull, indeed, that the gun was 
 hardly home to his shoulder, and the conse- 
 quence was a severe kick, by way of a re- 
 minder from the Lancaster to hold it tighter 
 another time. Newton dropped the butt of 
 the gun on the ground, and rubbed his 
 shoulder after accomplishing this feat, for- 
 getting all about the cock in the momentary 
 pain ; but a " Well done, by Jove ! " from Sir 
 
 vol. i. M
 
 1G2 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 John, and " Wiped all their noses, by Jingo !" 
 from Mr. Bunconib, apprised him that some- 
 thing extraordinary had occurred. And, 
 indeed, something very extraordinary had 
 occurred ; for the Lancaster, apparently dis- 
 gusted at the want of skill on the part of its 
 present master, seemed as if it had taken the 
 matter into its own hands, and thought 
 proper to send an ounce and a half of 5's 
 exactly in the right direction, for down came 
 the cock as dead as a stone. How it was 
 done, of course Newton couldn't make out. 
 lie couldn't take much credit to himself for it, 
 so he rubbed his shoulder and said nothing ; 
 though Sir John slapped him on the back 
 heartily, and pronounced it " A doosed good 
 shot, sir ; " for the possibility of demolishing 
 a cock by accident never crossed his brain. 
 
 Ned looked a little foolish, and Buncomb's 
 organ of respect — veneration, I believe, the 
 phrenologists call it — became much more fully 
 developed towards Newton. Two or three brace
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 163 
 
 of pheasants, a hare or two, with half a-dozen 
 rabbits, were disposed of, Newton firing with 
 the greatest regularity, without adding any- 
 thing but noise to the sport. 
 
 " Come along, lads," said Sir John. 
 "They're almost through the cover, and 
 there's a large patch of beans at the end, 
 which I left standing for the sake of the sport. 
 It was a thin crop, and hardly worth cutting, 
 and I expect it will be as full of game as an 
 egg is of meat. It's the cream of the day. 
 Buncomb, take in the dogs ; we must beat it 
 carefully and silently. We'll form a line about 
 twenty yards apart, and walk it down. The 
 six guns will about do it, Buncomb, eh ? 
 
 " Jist the thing, Se John," answered Bun- 
 comb, as he tied up the dogs. 
 
 They got over the hedge, and found three 
 of the other four gentlemen just coming out 
 from the cover. The proposed line was 
 formed, and they were waiting for Uncle 
 Crabb, who Avas retrieving a wounded hare — 
 
 M 2
 
 164 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 and they were upon the point of entering the 
 beans — when a hare, which lay hidden in the 
 grass, jumped up under the dog Mungo's nose, 
 and went scampering off through an angle of 
 the beans for the cover. Mungo, of course, 
 made a dash at it, and of course was pulled 
 over with an " Ah, would yer ! " by Bun- 
 comb, and received another smart whack or 
 two from the "bit of ash." This proceeding 
 was not in accordance with Mungo's ideas of 
 propriety ; but he took his thrashing without 
 a growl or a yelp. The first step was taken 
 into the beans, when a loud yell burst from the 
 lips of Mr. Bunco mb. " Oh, Lord ! oh, my ! " 
 screamed that functionary. They looked 
 round — Mungo had got him by the calf of the 
 leg. He had fallen behind the unsuspecting 
 Buncomb, and when well behind he chose his 
 place, and deliberately, and with malice pre- 
 pense, fixed Mr. Buncomb. 
 
 "Leave go, yer cussed warment," roared 
 Buncomb. "Oh, wont I jist pay yer for this
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 165 
 
 'ere ! " and Mr. Buncomb, dropping the string, 
 seized the ash in botli hands, preparatory to 
 doing his best towards the splitting of M lin- 
 go's skull. But no sooner did he drop the 
 string and raise the stick, than Mungo released 
 his hold, and vanished into the beans after the 
 hare. 
 
 " Confound that dog ! he'll play the deuce 
 with the shooting ; " said Sir John. " Hi — 
 here ! after him, Buncomb ; bring him 
 back." 
 
 " Ord dang un ! ' : said Buncomb, as he 
 caressed his wounded limb. " I doan't want 
 no more to do wi' he." 
 
 Uncle Crabb Avas standing on the bank ; he 
 had but just made his way through the cover, 
 and was to take the nearest place along the 
 cover side. He had not seen the above little 
 episode ; but he now saw Mungo tearing 
 through the beans towards the gap he was 
 standing in. 
 
 "Whose brute's that? d n the dog!
 
 166 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 he'll play Old Scratch in the beans. Go back, 
 ye brute. Hoy, Mr. — Mr. — Mr. Rainbow, 
 here's this beast of a dog of yours ; call him 
 back." 
 
 " Mungo ! " shouted Newton ; " Mungo ! 
 Ah ! ah ! come here." But Mungo merely 
 flourished his tail, and travelled the faster. 
 
 " Here, old dog ! Poor fellow ! Here, 
 then ! Here, poor old doggy ! " said Uncle 
 Crabb, in the most winning tone. But Mun- 
 go had " eaten stick," as the Turks say, and 
 wasn't going to be coaxed and "poor-fel- 
 lowed " out of his liberty again in a hurry ; 
 so he stopped and looked at Uncle Crabb out 
 of the corner of that evil eye of his, and, as 
 Uncle Crabb advanced, holding towards him a 
 hare he had shot, and using the most enticing 
 endearments, Mungo hesitated. The hare 
 looked tempting ; but he could not quite make 
 up his mind. So, as Uncle Crabb advanced, 
 he backed a little, distrustful of the tempter's 
 ulterior intentions. " I wish to goodness I
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 1G7 
 
 could get hold of that string ! " thought Uncle 
 Crabb. " I wish I could get hold of that 
 hare without that suspicious-looking chap's 
 getting any nearer to me ! " thought, or rather 
 looked, Mungo, still backing astern. It was 
 evident that Mungo wouldn't bite — he was a 
 shy fish ; he wasn't going to be caught. So 
 Uncle Crabb lost all patience, and hurled the 
 hare at Mungo's head with a strong anathema. 
 Straight to its mark went the hare, and with 
 such force and correctness of aim that, catch- 
 ing Mungo on the side of the jowl, it knocked 
 him head over heels. With a slight yelp Mungo 
 picked himself up, and started off at score 
 right up the very centre of the beans, flushing 
 the pheasants by dozens, while all sorts of 
 game went whirring and scurrying away in 
 every direction. A pleasing chorus of shouts, 
 mingled Avith sundry oaths, were sent after 
 him, above which Newton's frantic " Mungo ! 
 Mango ! Ah, you brute ! Ah, you beast ! " 
 could be plainly distinguished. How savage
 
 168 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 they were, and how dreadfully annoyed and 
 upset Newton was. 
 
 " If you'd only have shot the beast, Mr. 
 Crabb, I wouldn't have minded a bit." 
 
 "I she'd think not!" said Mr. Buncomb, 
 holding his leg, and winding a handkerchief 
 round it ; "I she'd think not. You'd a howed 
 Muster Cha's a debt o' hinfernal (qy. eternal) 
 gratitood, and so she'd I. I'm sure / she'd 
 a considered as I wos dreadful hobligated to 
 hany gentleman as had ridded me of anythink 
 — half so — half so — d — nable ! ' ; continued 
 Mr. Buncomb, winding up his oration under 
 the influence of excitement. 
 
 " There's another, and another, and a brace 
 more ! There goes a leash — two cocks and a 
 hen ! My eye ! what a pity ! " said one of the 
 under-keepers. 
 
 " Mungo-o-o-o," roared Newton, almost 
 tearing his hair. 
 
 " Mungo-o," roared the keepers. 
 
 " Mung-o-o-o-o," shouted the shooters ; and
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 169 
 
 the whole field shouted "Mungo," till it was 
 black in the face, without producing the least 
 effect upon that contumacious animal. 
 
 It was rare fun to Mungo, this " beating 
 the beans ; " and he rushed up and down — 
 backwards and forwards — crashing away, until 
 there was hardly a head of game left in the 
 beans. As to standing at anything ! He 
 had about as much idea of it as an Australian 
 dingo. The only notion he at all entertained 
 of game was, that it was something or other 
 constructed for the amusement of dogs ; 
 that it ran away when pursued, and, if 
 caught, would doubtless prove good eating. 
 But Mungo had done his worst, and, indeed, 
 his last piece of mischief; and Buncomb was 
 avenged. Having finished the beans off to 
 his entire approbation, he charged the hedge 
 which separated them from the cover. The 
 string by which Mr. Buncomb had held him 
 was still flying loosely about in the air ; it 
 lapped round a branch, and, instead of alight-
 
 170 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 , ing on his legs, he hung by his neck and 
 broke it. 
 
 "Sic transit gloria Mungi, and a good job, 
 too," as Uncle Crabb remarked, when his life- 
 less corpse was .found hanging in the hedge. 
 
 " Would you like to have him stuffed and 
 put in a glass-case, Mr. Rainbow ? " 
 
 The cream of the day was skimmed. They 
 lunched, and, under the influence of the 
 hearty good ale and a soothing weed, they 
 finally forgave Newton, as he seemed so very 
 sorry while they chaffed him. They condoled 
 with him upon the loss of the truly invaluable 
 Mungo ; and although Newton's brow lowered 
 at his name, it was not for the loss of Mungo. 
 No. He didn't care twopence about that ; 
 he hated the very remains of Mungo with a 
 fervent hatred, and only wished he had hung 
 himself half an hour sooner. He grieved not 
 at his demise; but, like "Tubal Cain," 
 
 He was filled with pain 
 
 For the mischief he had done.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 171 
 
 And he took their chaff so well, so good- 
 humouredly, and seemed so concerned at the 
 spoiling of their sport, that even Uncle Crabb 
 said : — 
 
 " Never mind, Rainbow ; it doesn't signify. 
 Take another glass of ale, and wash down your 
 disgust. By the way," he continued, " what 
 became of that cock ? Did you destroy him, 
 you Ned?" 
 
 " No, sir," answered Ned. 
 
 " Let him get away, eh ? Bah ! I always 
 thought you a muff." 
 
 " Never mind," answered Ned ; " somebody 
 else missed him as well as I." 
 
 " Oh ! I only viewed him through the tree- 
 tops — quite seventy yards off." * 
 
 " I suppose you had a fair shot?" 
 
 * It's a very strange thing ; but the author has 
 always remarked that a cock is invariably seventy 
 yards off when he is missed, and very often when he's 
 killed. It's a sort of distance they choose for the 
 purpose of being shot at, he supposes, as he can't 
 account for it in any other way.
 
 172 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Ned nodded. 
 
 " Deuced provoking," continued Uncle 
 Crabb, " for the first cock of the season to 
 get away from six guns." 
 
 " Oh ! but he didn't get away ; we bagged 
 him." 
 
 " Why, who stopped him then?" 
 
 Sir John pointed with his thumb to Newton, 
 who was sitting next to him. Uncle Crabb's 
 eyes dilated. 
 
 "Never! You don't mean that!" and he 
 rose from his elbow, on which he was leaning, 
 to the full length of his arm, with astonish- 
 ment. 
 
 " I do, though. As clean and as quick a 
 shot as ever you saw in your life." 
 
 " Well, I am — capital. I thought he was 
 coming a bit of the old soldier over us ; and 
 if it hadn't been for the unaccountable pos- 
 session of that most impracticable and incom- 
 prehensible cur, which has just committed 
 suicide, one could understand it. So you shot
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 173 
 
 the cock, Mr. — Mr. — Rainbow?" turning to 
 Newton. " Here's your health, and may you 
 live to shoot hundreds." 
 
 Newton's success went a long way towards 
 obliterating Mungo's failure, for the present, 
 at any rate, and compliments were bestowed 
 on him. It was of no use for him to say 
 it was chance. Who ever shot a woodcock 
 by chance? Nonsense; they wouldn't have 
 it. 
 
 Lunch was finished, and shooting recom- 
 menced ; but the ale had somehow disturbed 
 the accuracy of their aim, and there was a 
 good deal of shooting for a small result. 
 
 "Never knowed much good done arter 
 lunch and strong ale," said Buncomb. 
 
 Nevertheless Newton managed to accom- 
 plish the wish he had formed in the morning ; 
 for, a pheasant getting up close to him, he let 
 drive at it at about ten yards distance, and 
 literally blew it all to pieces — a proceeding 
 which did not elicit from Mr. Buncomb, who
 
 174 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 lingered behind, the applause it deserved, and 
 Newton expected. But Mr. Buncomb dis- 
 covered a hare in a hedge, in a spot where 
 hares always are found — the middle of a good 
 sized holly-bush, some three feet from the 
 ground. Newton pulled at the unconscious 
 innocent, " sitting," as he called it, and 
 knocked her over ; and, on rushing to pick it 
 up, found it to be the skin of a newly-slain 
 Sarah, neatly distended with dry grass — a 
 time-honoured old practical joke, which, of 
 course, caused the usual amount of laughter. 
 And perhaps there wasn't a little more chaff 
 at Newton's expense about "shooting hares 
 in a tree," &c. Nothing further of conse- 
 quence occurred ; and they reached Dealmount 
 without any mishap. The bag consisted of 27 
 brace of pheasants, 32 hares, 23 couples of 
 rabbits, 3 brace of birds, a wood-pigeon and 
 the cock. The other party, which consisted 
 only of four guns, beat them by about twenty 
 head, thanks to Mungo.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 175 
 
 A sporting dinner followed, during which 
 the various incidents of the day were dis- 
 cussed with humour and gusto. Much good 
 wine was disposed of. Mr. Bateman was in 
 his glory ; his calves shone, his cheeks and 
 chin quivered, and his nose blazed like a 
 beacon as he placed the dry port or superb 
 Madeira — a wine, alas ! fast disappearing — 
 lovingly before them. 
 
 Mr. Buncomb received a salve for his sores 
 in the shape of a piece of gold, which raised 
 Mr. Buncomb's opinion of Newton very much 
 indeed. 
 
 " For," he said, "if the gen'leman worn't 
 no sportsman, he were a gen'leman ; " and he 
 whispered to Newton, " that tho' he couldn't 
 give him a day in the covers like, altogether 
 himself, yet if he were going to make a stay, 
 and liked to walk round with him as he went 
 his rounds, he'd soon teach him how to shoot, 
 Avith a little practise, besides puttin' him up to 
 a few dodges in warmin' ketchin', badger
 
 176 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 drorin', &c." — an offer Newton gladly availed 
 himself of, so that before he left Crookham he 
 and the Lancaster became much better ac- 
 quainted, and Mr. Bimcomb had promised to 
 break a pup of one of Sir John's favourite 
 bitches expressly for him, because " he knew 
 now," as Mr. Buncomb said, " how to treat a 
 dog, likewise, wot wos a dog, and what worn't 
 only a cur." 
 
 Newton was not very good at the bottle — 
 " little and good " being his motto — so he 
 indulged in only a limited portion of wine, 
 but we regret to say that his friend Edward 
 was not equally prudent, for when he got into 
 the dog-cart at 1 1 o'clock, he put the reins 
 into Newton's hands, saying : 
 
 " It slf all righ, ol' fla — shold niaya nosli- 
 erway. Shrate on an' mine sh-shaw-pit." 
 
 After which lie lighted a cigar, and fell 
 asleep simultaneously. The cart stood ready 
 to start, and as Newton clambered to the 
 driving-seat lie hummed an air.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 177 
 
 " Bravo, Mr. Dogvanc ! " said the Captain, 
 as he took the reins of his own cart. " Give 
 us a song as we trot home. Keep close 
 behind me, and keep to the right going round 
 the corner ; there's an awkward saw-pit there. 
 And now sing away like a wood full of 
 nightingales." 
 
 Thus encouraged, Newton, with an occa- 
 sional word of advice from William, who was 
 taking care of his young master, kept the 
 mare's nose up to the Captain's cart, and sung 
 a song, and that right lustily, and then the 
 Captain sang — and the moon shone bright, 
 tipping the bare twigs and the tree-tops with 
 silver, and the tramp, tramp of the horse's 
 feet beat time to the music. 
 
 " He who wears a regimental suit 
 Oft is as poor as any raw recruit," 
 
 sang the Captain. " Ah ! " thought Newton, 
 " he can afford to sing that, for he has lots of 
 tin, but he wouldn't like to hear it if he hadn't. 
 vol. I. n
 
 178 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Never mind, he's not such a bad fellow 
 though." 
 
 Then they had a duet — the only one 
 Newton knew without the music — " All's 
 well," of course ; and they did it with such 
 effect, that they woke Master Neddy, who, 
 hearing some singing in progress, burst out 
 into a loud moan ; very loud at first, but 
 dying away in a tremulando movement 
 towards the end, under the idea that he was 
 greatly assisting the chorus and promoting the 
 harmony. After which, he became silent and 
 profoundly contemplative and philosophic. 
 But being well nudged and shaken by William 
 and Newton, he shook off his somnolency and 
 became talkative — quite bright and spry 
 indeed towards the end of the journey, and as 
 he got up stairs somehow, he informed 
 Newton, who was on the landing-place below, 
 in a loud confidential whisper, that " He'd 
 made it awl — awl right — for a day's shack fishn' 
 t'morr." He then kissed one of the maids
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 179 
 
 who was passing with a candle, and told her 
 that he was sorry to see his friend so intoxi- 
 cated, told her to take him a " botl o sora-warr 
 irra mornin," and wake him up early enough 
 to go " shack fish'n with him t'morr." 
 
 n2
 
 180 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 STORM, SUNSHINE, AND JACK FISHING. 
 
 " I wish we could get up those four-part 
 songs," said Charlotte Bowers, on the ensuing 
 morning, as they sat at breakfast. 
 
 " We could manage the glees," said Captain 
 Stevens, " for Mr. Dogvane sings very nicely." 
 
 Newton blushed, and, although he dis- 
 claimed the " nicely," he allowed that he did 
 sing a little now and then, but only for his 
 own amusement. 
 
 "Ah! if you sing for your own amusement, 
 you must sing for ours, you know," added 
 Bessy, with a bright smile. 
 
 " Then we will get up some trios ; and we
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 181 
 
 might even manage a quartet, with Bessy's 
 assistance," said Charlotte. " I do wish you 
 would try and sing, Edward. He really has 
 a nice voice, Mr. Dogvane," she continued, 
 " if he'd only practise." 
 
 " I don't think Edward's singing this 
 morning would be very much calculated to 
 afford any one much pleasure," said Mrs. 
 Bowers, with intense dignity and a sharp 
 glance at Ned. Ned had a slight headache, 
 and a small appetite for breakfast, and looked 
 decidedly the worse for the sporting dinner of 
 the day before. 
 
 The young ladies coloured, looked down, 
 and said nothing; and Ned crimsoned with 
 shame and conscious guilt. 
 
 "Listen to me, sir," said his father, laying 
 down the paper. " I have no objection to 
 your enjoying yourself to the very fullest ; 
 shoot as much as you please at Sir John's ; 
 eat, drink, and be merry how you will, so 
 that your merriment be tempered with some
 
 182 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 small share of wisdom; but when a son of 
 mine degrades himself from the position of a 
 gentleman by making a beast of himself, I 
 am penetrated with the deepest concern, sir 
 — the deepest concern. What must your 
 mother and sisters think of you ? What must 
 your friend, Mr. Dogvane — who, I am pleased 
 to see, is a young gentleman of good habits 
 and perfect discretion — what must he think of 
 you ? " 
 
 Mrs. Bowers left the room ; Charley and 
 Bessy followed in tears ; and then Sissy, 
 saying to herself, as she went, " My ! poor 
 Ned — what a wigging ! " 
 
 " I did not expect it of you, Ned — I didn't, 
 indeed ; " and the poor old governor, clutch- 
 ing nervously at the paper, got up and went 
 to the window. But the prospect was dim — 
 very dim. There was something in his eye 
 that made the window appear like ground, or 
 rather wavy, glass. Newton, Uncle Crabb 
 and the Captain looked at one another. Had
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 183 
 
 a shell fallen amongst them, it could not 
 have produced more dismay upon their coun- 
 tenances. Ned fidgetted for a moment, 
 looked as if he were about to say something, 
 bolted it, got up, and stalked from the room. 
 No one spoke. In a few minutes Newton rose 
 and followed him. 
 
 " You are rather hard on the lad, Edward,'' 
 said Uncle Crabb. 
 
 " I am equally hard upon myself, brother 
 Charles." 
 
 " It's the first time, Ned." 
 " And I trust the last, Charles." 
 The Captain walked out on the lawn, and 
 lighted a cigar, like Uncle Toby, whistling 
 Lillibullero to himself. Uncle Crabb stole up 
 softly to Ned's room. Bessy was standing at 
 the door, apparently hesitating whether she 
 should enter or not. There were voices 
 within. Uncle Crabb drew his arm round 
 Bessy's Avaist, and they stood at the door — 
 the rough old veteran and the shrinking Lily.
 
 184 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 "No, no, no, Newton," said the voice of 
 Ned, vehemently, " don't say another word, 
 I can't bear it ; I never was so spoken to in 
 my life — and before the girls, and everbody ! 
 It's too bad, too cruel ; I won't stay in the 
 house another hour, I'm determined." 
 
 "Don't be foolish, Ned," said Newton; 
 " listen to me, there's a good fellow ; don't do 
 a rash thing, which you may ever after 
 bitterly repent of." 
 
 " I'll go, I'm resolved. No, my boy, don't 
 speak — not another hour." 
 
 " Where will you go, Ned? " 
 
 " Where ? I don't know — anywhere, away 
 from this. I'll enlist as a common soldier, 
 and be off to the East. My mind's made up ; 
 I won't stay. I can't think how — the — 
 gov — ver — nor could — do it," sobbed poor 
 Ned. 
 
 Bessy made a motion towards the handle of 
 the door ; but uncle Crabb restrained her. 
 
 " Do you think it cost him no effort ? Do
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 185 
 
 you think it didn't cut him to the heart to do 
 it, Ned? Think a moment." 
 
 " It was deu — ced — cue-cruel of him, I — 
 know that," said Ned. 
 
 "Will you take my advice, Ned? the 
 advice of an old friend and schoolmate. We 
 were boys together, you know ; and I can't 
 advise you, if I wished to. in any other way 
 than for the best — the very best, Ned. You 
 may trust yourself in my hands." 
 
 Ned sobbed, but did not answer. 
 
 " Look here, old fellow. Swallow your 
 pride, and go down to him in a manly, 
 straightforward way, ' Here I am, sir. I'm 
 deeply sorry to have committed myself and 
 you as I have done. I'm ashamed of myself, 
 and promise to put a restraint upon myself in 
 future, and I ask your forgiveness.' There's 
 nothing to be ashamed of, Ned, nothing mean 
 in asking your governor to forgive you. It's 
 meaner, in my mind, to run away and leave a 
 whole heap of sorrow behind you."
 
 186 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 But Ned didn't answer a word; pride 
 battled strongly. 
 
 " Shall I tell you what I saw, Ned? I saw 
 the governor looking out of window, evidently 
 to hide his own emotions ; and I saw a big, 
 salt tear drop down on the window-sill. You 
 don't know, old fellow, what that tear cost 
 him. Your father ! — think of that, Ned. 
 Hang it, don't sob so" (Ned was sobbing 
 convulsively), " or you'll set me off as well as 
 yourself," whined Newton. 
 
 " You're a deuced good fellow, New; I wish I 
 was like you. I'm a precious rip — a scoundrel." 
 
 " No, no, nonsense ! — you're nothing of the 
 sort ; only you've got your pride, and your — 
 your — monkey up." 
 
 " I'm ashamed of myself. Poor old go- 
 vernor ! Hand us that towel, and I'll go 
 down directly and square it." 
 
 The Veteran and the Lily stole away from 
 tiie door, for they did not wish to be caught 
 listening.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 187 
 
 " I don't think, Lily," quoth the Veteran, 
 " we can give him better advice than that." 
 
 A shower of tears, falling like dew-drops 
 from the Lily, was her only answer. 
 
 " Cockney or countryman, it don't much 
 matter, so that the heart's in the right place," 
 said the Veteran, as he kissed the Lily, and 
 left her at her own chamber-door. 
 
 After a few minutes Ned came out, and 
 went down into the breakfast-room. Mr. 
 Bowers was still standing at the window. 
 Father and son were there alone for about 
 twenty minutes, when they came out, and 
 walked arm-in-arm upon the lawn. Newton 
 watched them from his bedroom window. 
 Evidently the reconciliation was perfect; tor 
 in a few minutes Ned came bounding up stairs, 
 beaming with delight, and happy as a bird. 
 
 " Newton, old fellow, it's all right ; I took 
 your advice, and I'll never forget the good 
 turn you've done me this day, for I was as 
 near bolting off and 'listing as possible. I
 
 188 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 told the governor all; and we are better 
 friends, if possible, than ever." And it was 
 evident that Ned had told his father all ; for 
 when Newton descended to the door, where 
 the dog-cart was waiting to convey them to 
 the ponds, Mr. Bowers, who was standing by- 
 it, superintending the stowing away of a large 
 basket, supposed to contain an extensive lunch, 
 took him by the hand, and, wringing it 
 warmly, said : — 
 
 " Thank you, Mr. Dogvane — thank you. 
 Your kindness and excellent advice to my 
 son Edward has given him back to me." And 
 Uncle Crabb, who arrived at the door at the 
 instant, was about following suit, but checked 
 himself, as a demonstration of that kind would 
 have betrayed that he had been listening ; 
 and although in this instance there was 
 nothing mean in the act, still he didn't like 
 it somehow. 
 
 The Captain here put in an appearance; 
 and rods, tackle, &c. being all ready, they
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 189 
 
 took their seats and drove oil. Newton felt 
 in such spirits, he really couldn't tell why. 
 Perhaps it was that his friend was once more 
 reconciled to his father, and through his 
 advice ; perhaps it was that he thought (but 
 this was the merest fancy) that he saw a pair 
 of bright eyes looking kindly on them from an 
 upper window ; and, although they seemed to 
 take in the whole of the cart and its occupants, 
 yet (fancy again) he could not help thinking, 
 if a right line had been drawn between the 
 said eyes and the said cart, that while one 
 end rested upon the eyes, the other would 
 have pierced the peak of his own particular 
 plaid cap. Conceited donkey ! eh, young 
 ladies ? 
 
 It was a good jack-fishing morning, dark 
 and windy, and both Uncle Crabb and the 
 Captain, who were staunch disciples of Izaak 
 Walton, prophesied good sport. The Captain 
 took his gun, for ducks were supposed occa- 
 sionally to visit the ponds, and they were sure
 
 190 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 of a moorhen or a coot, and perhaps a snipe 
 or two. 
 
 They soon arrived at the ponds, which 
 consisted of two largish sheets of water — one 
 communicating with the other by a trap ; the 
 nearest of them, which was the largest, being 
 some four or five feet above the other, and 
 banked up by a kind of causeway. It was 
 fringed with rushes and reeds, which ran out 
 into the pond for several yards at one end, 
 and here the largest jack were supposed to be. 
 Three or four small islands were scattered 
 about, some near the shore, some far out in the 
 middle ; some with a tree or two, and a few 
 low bushes, the others bare. A small stream 
 fed the ponds and ran out at the further end, 
 and, falling into another small stream further 
 on, the two fed the trout stream at Dealmount. 
 
 Mr. Buncomb was seen walking towards 
 them with a large bait-kettle in one hand and 
 a landing-net in the other ; his retriever at his 
 heels.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 191 
 
 " Mornin', gen'l'men." 
 
 " Good morning, Mr. Buncomb. Any 
 chance of sport to-day ? " asked Uncle 
 Crabb. 
 
 " Hem ! " quoth Buncomb, looking at the 
 sky ; " ye med, and ye medn't. There's 
 never no say in.' Fish is the contrariest, 
 obstinatest, and unaccountablest things as 
 swims. Still they ort fur to bite. Here's 
 some nice lively baits 1 ketched this mornin» 
 in the stream below." And Mr. Buncomb 
 opened the kettle and showed some dozens of 
 good-sized dace and gudgeon, " all alive oh ! " 
 
 " 'Pon my word, they are excellent," said 
 the Captain. " Buncomb, you are a prince of 
 providorcs." 
 
 " Yes ; they're tidyish, Captain ; and if 
 you only catches a jack for every one on 'em, 
 it's my opinion that this 'ere kettle won't 'old 
 'em." 
 
 " No ; nor that boat either. Any ducks 
 about yet ? "
 
 192 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " There wos three kipple on the upper 
 eend this mornin'. Likely they're in the 
 reeds now. Anykows, there's a few snips 
 round the other side on that boggy bit by the 
 stream." 
 
 " Very well; then I'll walk round while 
 you get my tackle ready. Come along Nep ;" 
 and Nep followed the gun instinctively — 
 fishing not being, to his mind, a pursuit 
 worthy of the notice of a dog who was any- 
 thing of a dog. The Captain stopped for a 
 minute to load his gun and light a cigar. 
 
 " It's wery odd now as that 'ere dog won't 
 take to fishin'," said Buncomb ; "his mother 
 was an uncommon hanimal in that line. I've 
 knowed her set and watch my float for 'ours ; 
 and if I warn't by when there come a bite, in 
 she'd go arter the float, and take 'old on it 
 with her teeth, and she wouldn't leave it 
 till she pulled lish and all ashore. Oncet 
 I set her to watch a trimmer, while I poled 
 across the pond to look at a duck's nest;
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 193 
 
 I hadn't been gone ten minutes before I see 
 her jump right down off the bank, and I 
 knowed a fish had struck. The fish was 
 a 'eavy one — sixteen pound — and too much 
 for the dog, for it most pulled her under 
 water ; but she wouldn't leave go of the 
 trimmer; and such a pully-hauly there was 
 as you never see. Sometimes she'd get the 
 best on't, and sometimes the jack 'd make 
 a roosh, and down went her 'ead under water, 
 and if I hadn't a come up in the boat just in 
 time when I did, that ere dog 'ud 'a been 
 drowned to a moral." 
 
 " Mr. Jesse an acquaintance ot yours, 
 Buncomb?" asked Uncle Crabb. 
 
 " Never see or hear of the gen'l'man, sir," 
 answered Buncomb. 
 
 " That's a pity," said Crabb. 
 
 " Werry likely," said Buncomb. 
 
 "What do you think of that anecdote?" 
 asked Newton. 
 
 VOL. I.
 
 194 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Uncle Crabb looked doubtful, and said 
 " Bunkum." 
 
 " What shall I put on , for you, Cap- 
 tain ? " 
 
 " Spinning tackle. You'll find some traces 
 in that box. Put on a good-sized dace, and 
 let it lie till it gets stiff; it '11 spin better," 
 and the Captain, shouldering his gun, once 
 more whistled to Nep, and the pair went off 
 in company. 
 
 Buncomb was busy for awhile with the Cap- 
 tain's rod and tackle. 
 
 " By the way," said Ned, " what sort of a 
 hand are you at jack-fishing, Newton? I 
 know you are a fisherman. But are you up to 
 this ? " 
 
 "Well, no; I can't say I am much of a 
 hand at it, though I am very fond of fishing." 
 
 " We'd better put Mr. Rainber on a live 
 bait then," quoth Buncomb, looking up. 
 
 Uncle Crabb and Ned looked at one another 
 for a moment, then at New, and finally laughed
 
 NEWTON DOGYANE. 195 
 
 heartily. Newton looked rather red and angry, 
 slightly disgusted. 
 
 " This gentleman's name is Dogvane, Bun- 
 comb," said Ned. 
 
 " I'm sure I begs the gentleman's parding. 
 1 thought I heerd Misser Cha's call him Kain- 
 ber yesterday." 
 
 " So you did, Buncomb," answered Crabb. 
 " But I don't mean to call him so any more, 
 and beg to apologize to him for ever having 
 done so. It was oidy a stupid allusion to the 
 rainbow plaid, which I prophesied would prove 
 attractive to the Squire's bull. By the way, 
 I hope that bull is shut in to-day, or he may 
 take it into his head to spoil our sport." 
 
 " Oh, yes, sir ; he's shut in right enough. 
 I see to that myself. Ye see, mas'r's had two 
 or three rows with the Squire about that 'ere 
 bull ; but the Squire's a bully in', braggin', low 
 sort of a feller, and swears he's a right to 
 graze here — and perhaps he has ; and ye see, 
 mas'r don't like to be at loggerheads with his 
 
 2
 
 196 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 neighbours, though it's difficult to keep out on 
 'em with some folks ; and if we got to rowing, 
 he mightn't choose to shut him up at all, which 
 would be a pretty start when wev'e got a 
 fishin' party. At other times I don't so much 
 mind it, for that bull's better nor a dozen 
 keepers to these ponds, and saves me a deal 
 of trouble ; for not a poacher dares come 
 nighst 'im since he broke that scamp Joe 
 Reek's collar-bone and punched two holes in 
 his trowsers, not to mention half drowning of 
 him, as he wur a settin' some night-lines. No, 
 no ; he's all right enough, I'll answer. — Oh ! 
 you're a goin' to spin too ? " 
 
 " Yes," said Uncle Oabb, holding up a most 
 horrible and deadly-looking apparatus — a 
 series of triangularly placed hooks, to which 
 he was attaching a large gudgeon. 
 
 " And what '11 you do, Master Ed'ard? " 
 "Well, I don't know, Buncomb; spinning 
 seems the order of the day, and Mr. Dog- 
 vane is going to live-bait; so I've a good
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 197 
 
 mind to fish cither with a gorge, or to catch 
 perch." 
 
 " Oh, bother perch, I likes a gorge myself. 
 Jack takes a gorge when they air on the feed, 
 as well as a spinnin' bait ; and when they air 
 hooked, why they air, and there's no losin' 'em 
 like there is at spinnin'. No, no, I'll rig yon 
 up a gorge in a jiffy, if you've got ar a bit o' 
 silk 'andy." 
 
 Just then the Captain's gun was heard, fol- 
 lowed by the pit-pit-pitting of the shot on the 
 water, and five ducks appeared above the 
 reeds, and, after scouring and whirling round 
 and round for some time, made for the further 
 end of the other pool. 
 
 " Hum ! the Captain's potted one on em ; 
 wonders why he didn't fire t'other barrel," 
 said Buncomb. 
 
 The other barrel went off, and " scape, 
 scape," went a couple of snipe, as they flew 
 up further, and further up, till they were lost 
 in the blue air.
 
 198 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Oh ! " said Buncomb, " I s'pose he'd only 
 got snip shot in t'other bar'l. There's onld 
 Nep a swimmin' in arter the duck, and there, 
 the Cap'n's picked up summat. Snip I 
 reckons. He do shoot ! Ah ! he do shoot, 
 Mas'r Ned ! I wish I could get you to shoot 
 like the Cap'n. If you'd only shoot a leetle 
 forrerder, wot a lot more Saireys and bunnies 
 you would put the kibosh on to — to be sure 
 — I never see but one as shot as well as the 
 Cap'n, and that's the Hemperor, your guv'- 
 nor, Mas'r Ned, and he used to shoot a bit. 
 Ah ! above a bit ! Lor ! 'ow he used to 
 down 'em, Avith that werry gun you snooted 
 with yesterday." 
 
 "Very odd," answered Ned ; "I never can 
 shoot with it." 
 
 " That's cause you don't 'old it as the Hem- 
 peror'dused to." 
 
 Bang, bang, went the Captain's gun, and 
 the scape of a single snipe was heard over the 
 pond. Meantime Mr. Buncomb, although he
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 199 
 
 talked, did not neglect his work, and arranged 
 the tackle, put baits on, &c. 
 
 " Fish round the edge first — eh, Buncomb?" 
 asked Uncle Crabb. 
 
 "If you please, sir; then we shan't disturb 
 the pond if we launches the boat. You two 
 gents, go on, and I'll set Muster Dogswun in 
 the way, as he aint werry good at it ; " and 
 Ned and Uncle Crabb took their ways to their 
 separate beats. 
 
 Newton had put his rod together and got 
 his line out, &c. &c, and Mr. Buncomb, put- 
 ting a heavy cork float about a yard up the 
 line, tied a gimp hook on to the end, and 
 slipped the hook through the nose of a good- 
 sized lively dace. 
 
 " Now, sir, you throw in like that, jest hop- 
 posite that island ; and when you sees a run, 
 let him 'ave it as long as he likes, so as to 
 gorge it." 
 
 Mr. Buncomb suited the action to the word, 
 and threw out the bait, and handed the rod to
 
 200 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 Newton, who stood anxiously watching his 
 float as it sailed about, drawn hither and 
 thither by the bait. Presently down went the 
 float with a dash ; and Newton, as he had 
 always been accustomed to in his fishing ex- 
 perience, struck directly. There was a slight 
 resistance, and then the bait came up by itself, 
 terribly mangled and cut about, as if it had 
 been slashed by a razor. 
 
 "What on arth? Lord, sir! you maunt 
 strike like that ! Give 'em time to pouch. 
 Jacks don't bolt a fish at the first go. You 
 must give 'em time, say two or three minutes, 
 and let 'em go wheres'ever they choses. Look 
 ye here, sir. If you don't mind my 'oldin' 
 the rod for a minute, just till I 'ooks one, I'll 
 show ye," said Mr. Buncomb, as he tossed the 
 dead bait into the water, and fixed another on 
 the hook. 
 
 " Well, I did mean to give him time, but I 
 was rather nervous, and struck without intend- 
 ing it," answered Newton.
 
 NEWTON DOGYANE. 201 
 
 Mr. Buncomb threw in the bait again, near 
 about the same spot. 
 
 " That must have been a very large fish to 
 have mangled the bait like that," said New- 
 ton. 
 
 " That don't foller," said Mr. Buncomb, as 
 the float once more disappeared ; "a jack o' 
 three or four pounds 'ud a sarved it just as 
 bad." 
 
 " There's a bite ; he's got it again," said 
 Newton, in an agitated whisper. 
 
 " Ah ! I sees 'im," answered Buncomb, 
 paying out line with his hand, as the fish 
 sailed off towards some weeds with its prey. 
 Having reached them, it remained quiet. 
 Presently up came the float with a bob. 
 " Rat the beggar ! " said Buncomb, " he's 
 left it. Your pullin' at him has scared him a 
 bit ; not as how as that 'ud matter a bit if he 
 was hungry ; for I've knowed 'em jump clean 
 out of the landing-net, arter they was most 
 killed, and carry off hook and all, and then
 
 202 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 come and get cotcked ten minutes arter. They 
 arn't to be stalled off with a scratch when 
 they're 'ungry." 
 
 The hook came up minus the bait. 
 
 " Cut it off, eh ?" said Buncomb. " Artful 
 warmint ! Now I'll just sniggle him." And 
 Mr. Buncomb hooked the next bait on by 
 the back-fin, and, placing the bait in the 
 water at the edge of the pond, gave the jack 
 time to dispose of his capture, while he 
 lighted his pipe, looked sternly at the weed, 
 and nodded gravely, as much as to say, 
 " you're there, are you, my buck ? See if 
 I don't pay you out now." Gathering up 
 the tackle, he threw in again, and the jack 
 had evidently only just whetted his appetite ; 
 for scarcely had the float taken up its position, 
 when it disappeared in the same direction as 
 before, and again remained still, after taking 
 out a yard or two of line. This time, how- 
 ever, the float stopped for a minute or two 
 under water, and a few shakings and jerkings
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 203 
 
 at the line told that the jack was wreaking 
 his vengeance on the unfortunate dace, pre- 
 paratory to swallowing it. Presently all was 
 still; the line then began to move slightly, 
 and Buncomb, raising the point of the rod 
 with a smart tug, " had him," as he said, 
 " under a scwere course o' steel." The top 
 of the rod bent smartly, and the fish plunged 
 violently. Buncomb handed the rod to 
 Newton; and, after a fair resistance, and a 
 due amount of rushing here, there, and 
 everywhere, Newton, according to Buncomb's 
 directions, shortened in line, and the fish 
 was hauled, rather than led, towards the 
 landing-net, his extended jaws grinning hor- 
 ribly at them, and shaking savagely to and 
 fro across the line as Newton pulled his 
 head above water. With a glow of intense 
 delight and satisfaction, with every nerve 
 thrilling with excitement, such as only a 
 young angler feels over his first large cap- 
 ture, or the more advanced one over his
 
 204 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 first salmon, Newton saw his victim within 
 the meshes of the net, and then drawn from 
 his native element to the shore, still kicking 
 and plunging. 
 
 Captain Stevens approached just as the 
 fish was landed. 
 
 " What a beauty ! what a splendid fish ! 
 Isn't he a noble fish, Captain Stevens ? " asked 
 Newton, rapturously. 
 
 " Nice, well-fed little fish," said the Captain, 
 turning it over as it lay kicking on the ground, 
 with the utmost sang froid ; " about four 
 pounds, I should say. Eh, Buncomb ?" 
 
 " That's about his calybore" (calibre ?), 
 answered Buncomb, searching for his knife. 
 " We must cut this 'ere 'ook off, and put on 
 another ; the brute's swallered it, and a dis- 
 gorger aint no use." 
 
 " Little fish !" said Newton, his face depict- 
 ing decided disappointment at the Captain's 
 coolness. As for Nep, he merely smelt at the 
 fish, which gave him a slap on the nose with
 
 NEWTON docvam:. 205 
 
 its tail, and elicited a low growl from him. 
 After this little performance Nep turned away 
 and sat down, taking no further notice of it. 
 Even he did not appear to think it anything 
 extraordinary. 
 
 " Lord bless you, sir ! that aint nothing 
 that aint," said Buncomb, tying on another 
 hook. " There's some here as '11 weigh six 
 of him, if not seven. I knows there's one 
 or two as '11 go 'andy to five-and-twenty 
 pounds weight, if not more. There ye are 
 now, all ready again. Chuck in just by that 
 eend o' the island, the water's deeper there. 
 It goes off werry shaller towards t'other 
 eend — 'taint above three foot there, so it's 
 no use trying that ; but you'll find nine or 
 ten foot below. I sees Muster Cha's has 
 something 'eavy there, by his 'oldin' up his 
 'and. I'll just run and lend him a 'and. 
 Your rod's at your favV/fc cast round that 
 pint there, Capting ; " and the Captain, wish- 
 ing Newton good sport, walked off towards it,
 
 206 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 while Mr. Buncomb hastened off to Uncle 
 Crabb's assistance. 
 
 Newton threw in his bait as soon as he was 
 left by himself, but nothing came of it. 
 After waiting some time, during which he 
 saw Mr. Buncomb and Uncle Crabb land a 
 largish fish in the distance, he drew his bait 
 gently along the top of the water, resolving 
 to try the water further on. Just as he was 
 passing a sort of little gully or inlet, which 
 was fringed with reeds, he heard a splash, 
 felt a slight tug at his line, and, on turning 
 sharply round, he saw the dull green and 
 white form of a large fish, evidently bent upon 
 making off with his prey. Newton had 
 lowered the point of his rod, which was over 
 his shoulder; but the fish did not seem to 
 require any line, for he lay quite still close to 
 the rushes. The float was on the top of the 
 water, but showed by its frequent bobbings 
 and shakings that the foe was still busy some 
 throe or four feet below. Oh, how Newton's
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 207 
 
 heart did beat during those two or three 
 succeeding minutes ! It was no use his 
 saying to himself, " New, my boy, be calm. 
 Don't be flurried. Take it coolly." He 
 couldn't be calm ; he couldn't help being 
 Hurried ; and as to taking it coolly, his hand 
 trembled so, that the very line and rings 
 rattled against the rod as if old Hickory had 
 been seized with the ague. He had seen 
 what seemed to him a perfect monster. — (The 
 water possesses most singular magnifying 
 powers, there is no doubt of that. We have 
 seen a fish, that weighed at least ten pounds in 
 the water, reduced to less than half that size 
 upon changing its element ; and if, by any good 
 luck upon the fish's part, he manages to 
 prevent that, to him, undesirable change, we 
 are quite unable and afraid to say how many 
 extra pounds he carries away upon his already 
 overloaded cnrcass.) — Still, that Newton's 
 fish, in prospectu, was a large one, was pretty 
 certain, and Newton waited, watching his
 
 208 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 float in a state of considerable excitement and 
 perturbation. At length the fish moved, and 
 up went the rod with a smart stroke. There 
 was a slight pause on the part of the fish ; he 
 was evidently hugely surprised. What the 
 dickens was that sharp, tickling, unpleasant 
 sensation in his throat? It couldn't be the 
 back fin of a perch ! No — for Monsieur Pike 
 hated perch with a fervent hatred, and never 
 chose his dinner from that species of fish when 
 he could help it. A drag, followed by a cho- 
 king feeling, as if his stomach was being 
 pulled up into his throat. " Hallo ! I shan't 
 stay here to be treated in this way. Here, 
 come, let go, can't you ? Oh ! well, then, 
 look out for squalls ! I'm off." And away he 
 went towards the middle of the pond ; and 
 Newton, for the first time in his life, heard the 
 glorious music of the reel. King ! rattle ! 
 whir ! and having made a good thirty yards 
 rush, he stopped and appeared to consider ; 
 then, us Lf he was determined to see what it
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 209 
 
 was that caused him such annoyance, he 
 turned round and shot back to the place he 
 came from ; and there he might have seen — pos- 
 sibly he did see — a huge two-legged creature, 
 clad in a gorgeous coat of divers colours, very 
 red as to his face, with a generally agitated ap- 
 pearance, endeavouring to reel in the loose 
 line, at the end of which was that confounded 
 little barbed toothpick, which began to cause 
 him such desperately unpleasant sensations. 
 But an auxiliary was at hand. The lish was 
 sailing sharply along the shore, and Newton 
 was still endeavouring with trembling, and 
 consequently bungling lingers, to reel in the 
 loose line, as he followed him up — when from 
 behind there came a loud unearthly roar. 
 He turned his head over his shoulder, and 
 there he beheld, some fifty or sixty yards oil', 
 but bearing straight down upon him, a large 
 and savage bull — tail up, head down, fire in 
 his eye, and his whole appearance evincing a 
 strong desire to become speedily and more 
 
 VOL. I. 1'
 
 210 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 nearly acquainted with that rainbow-plaid 
 than was altogether satisfactory to its wearer. 
 It was of no use hesitating ; as to facing 
 such a beast as that, it wasn't to be thought 
 of for one moment ! — (We have heard sundry 
 tales about facing bulls, and awing them by 
 the majesty of the human eye. It may have 
 been done, we don't dispute it, although we 
 can't help having our own opinion that it is 
 an ocular delusion. At any rate, when run at 
 by bulls, which has happened once or twice, 
 we never felt any inclination to try the expe- 
 riment, but invariably bolted as hard as 
 our legs (moderately long ones) would carry 
 us. (Humiliating, no doubt, but we got safe 
 off.) — The bull was before, every stride 
 bringing him closer and closer ; half a minute, 
 or even less, would do the business ; the pond 
 was behind ; Newton must make a swim for 
 it. If he could reach the island, there was a 
 tree he could easily climb into, in case the 
 bull took the water. It wasn't above thirty
 
 NEWTON DOG VAN E. 211 
 
 or forty yards off. " Here goes, then," 
 thought Newton, and lie forthwith plunged 
 into the pond ! it did not come above his 
 waist. He glanced round, and he found by 
 good luck that he had chosen the shallow, 
 which Buncomb had noticed as not being 
 above three feet deep ; so he struggled on at a 
 half run for the island. The bull, at the sudden 
 disappearance of his enemy behind the reeds, 
 made a slight pause, which Newton, of course, 
 took what possibly in the bull's eyes was a 
 " mean " advantage of, to increase his distance 
 from the shore ; so that when the bull trotted 
 slowly up to the edge of the pond, he beheld 
 the object which had so attracted his atten- 
 tion dashing and splashing away, more than 
 half-way across to the island. Again he 
 paused, tore up the turf with his horns, 
 and bellowed with rage. Newton gained the 
 bank. As he scrambled out he looked back, 
 and saw the bull apparently just sounding 
 the depth of the water with his fore-legs. 
 
 p 2
 
 212 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " By Jove, he's coming after me," thought 
 Newton ; " so, as it seems there's no safety on 
 earth or water, we must try the air, and do a 
 bit of climbing." 
 
 Fortunately again, the tree was easy to 
 climb, and Newton swung himself up from 
 branch to branch, until he was well aloft and 
 out of all danger ; and the bull, when he 
 emerged from the water, found that Irs prey 
 had again escaped him, and stood looking 
 about with a remarkably puzzled expression. 
 Finding himself safe, Newton began to pelt 
 him with twigs and broken pieces of stick, 
 which had the effect of causing him to make 
 a rapid tour of the island ; during which, 
 Newton, on looking down, saw his rod, which 
 he had only quitted when he was about to 
 mount the tree, leaning against an over- 
 hanging branch. The top was within reach, 
 and he suddenly remembered the famous fish 
 which that confounded bull had doubtless 
 been the cause of his losing. However, as
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 213 
 
 the bull in his vagaries might run against the 
 rod and break it, he thought that he might as 
 well draw it up out of harm's way ; so, 
 reaching down until he got hold of the top, 
 lie gradually, with some trouble, pulled it up 
 until he got hold of the butt. He commenced 
 winding in the line — there was a good deal of 
 it run out — but after winding in a few yards, 
 he came to a full stop. The fish had hung 
 himself up in a large bunch of weeds, which 
 he distinctly saw move as he pulled at it ; and 
 " Was it possible ? No; yes. There it was 
 again ; a tug, and no mistake about it ; the 
 fish was on still. Oh, if he could only get 
 down ! ' : But there stood that beast of a bull, 
 occasionally giving a low bellow, and evidently 
 waiting for him. 
 
 But relief was at hand. The Captain had 
 seen the whole adventure -the punt was at no 
 very great distance — and wisely considering 
 that it would be decidedly the best mode of 
 approaching the scene of action, he stepped
 
 214 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 into it with lis gun, and poled away for the 
 island. As he approached it, he laid down the 
 pole and loaded his gun — one barrel with 
 snipe shot ; the other, in case the first should 
 not prove sufficiently persuasive, with No. 2's. 
 
 "Can I do anything for you?" he said, 
 smiling at the figure Newton cut in the 
 tree. 
 
 " If you can manage to poke or rake away 
 that weed there — I think I've got a precious 
 great fish on." 
 
 The Captain pushed towards the weed and 
 took hold of the line, to see in which direction 
 it was fast ; there was no doubt the fish was 
 on, as the violent swaying of the weed indi- 
 cated ; so, taking care not to hook the line, 
 the Captain, by throwing the anchor out beyond 
 it and dragging it slowly in, managed to sever 
 the connection between the weed and the bot- 
 tom. A huge lump of the weed and rush 
 now floated up, and hs pulled awry as much 
 us he could ; but a considerable bunch still
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 215 
 
 remained on the line, and the towing of this 
 about very soon brought the pike to a stand- 
 still. 
 
 "Shorten in all you can," said the Captain. 
 Newton did so. " First time I ever saw a 
 fish played from the top of a tree, ltather 
 awkward, isn't it ? " 
 
 "Confoundedly," answered Newton. "I 
 can't get the rod up properly." 
 
 " Never mind ; I think he has devoured his 
 last dace. Faith ! he must be uncommonly 
 well hooked ; I wonder he didn't twist off, 
 though he couldn't break you, because the 
 weed is too buoyant to afford him a fair pull. 
 Ah ! he's a good fish. I wish Buncomb and 
 his landing-net were here," continued the 
 Captain, making ineffectual efforts to get at 
 the fish. " I really don't see how we can land 
 him without towing him ashore in some shal- 
 low place ; for this troublesome weed prevents 
 my getting at him fairly." 
 
 " That would be the best way," said New-
 
 216 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 ton from the tree ; " and if you'll just give 
 the bull a hint to be off, I'll come down, and 
 you can take me on board." 
 
 " Just so," said the Captain, coolly cocking 
 his gun. " Don't keep too tight a strain on 
 the fish, or he'll break you even now ; for he's 
 still strong. Let him tow that bunch of weed 
 about. Now let's see. We'll try the effect 
 of snipe-shot at thirty yards first. Friend 
 Taurus, your presence is no longer desirable " 
 — and the bang of the Captain's gun was 
 followed by a loud roar from the bull, who 
 rushed in a frantic rage round and round the 
 little islet, crashing through the brushwood, 
 and finally dashing his horns against the tree 
 with such force as to make it tremble again ; 
 but he did not leave the island. 
 
 " Hem ! '' said the Captain, again. " They 
 say persuasion's better than force ; we've tried 
 persuasion, now we'll try force ; " so, pushing 
 the boat a few yards nearer, lie let the bull 
 have the full charge of No. 2, hot and strong,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 217 
 
 in the region of his tail. It was too much ; 
 beef couldn't stand it ; and, with a tremendous 
 roar and a frantic rush, he dashed into the 
 deepest part of the water, and swam to the 
 main land, bellowing with pain and fury. Ar- 
 rived there, he did not stop for a moment, 
 but, scrambling out, went off at a high gallop, 
 with his tail stuck out like a pump-handle. 
 'Twixt fear and rage, it is supposed he 
 did not stop in his headlong course till 
 he found himself once more in his own loca- 
 tion. ' 
 
 " I thought I should prevail on him to 
 depart," quoth the Captain, pushing on to 
 the island. 
 
 " I thought so too," answered Newton, 
 " seeing what powerful arguments you used. 
 
 Newton descended, and, getting into the 
 boat, they soon stood upon the ^liore ; and, 
 with very little difficulty, they got the fish 
 into a shallow corner, and landed him ; and 
 Newton in his delight forgot the bull, his wet
 
 218 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 clothes, and everything else that was unplea- 
 sant. 
 
 " What should you think he'll weigh? '' he 
 asked. "Will he weigh twenty pounds ?' : 
 Newton was not much of ajndge of the weight 
 of large fish. 
 
 " No, no, no," said the Captain ; " but 
 he's a good fish for all that. He'll go about 
 eleven and a half or twelve. I congratulate 
 you ; I've no doubt it's the biggest yet." 
 
 Uncle Crabb, Ned, and Buncomb, who had 
 watched the whole adventure from the dis- 
 tance, here came running up. They were 
 considerably alarmed at first, but when they 
 saw the termination of the adventure, they all 
 joined in a hearty laugh. 
 
 " But come, Mr. Dogvane," said Uncle 
 ( Yabb, " we must not keep you here. You're 
 wet through. Take a drop of this brandy. 
 There's a public-house about a third of a 
 mile from this, where I always keep a dry 
 change of old things ; for I often get wet
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 219 
 
 through when I come here fishing or wild- 
 fowl shooting. So put yourself into a sharp 
 trot, and I'll go with you and see you rigged 
 out afresh ; and if, after that, you like to 
 come back and renew your sport, you can. 
 Come along. We'll get oif those plaids. My 
 words about Squire Driffield's bull seem 
 quite prophetic." And, putting themselves 
 into a trot, they left Ned, Buncomb, and 
 the Captain to pursue their sport, and 
 hastened off to The Feathers, a hostelrie kept 
 by J. Jinks. 
 
 The change was speedily effected, and 
 Newton felt all the better for it. 
 
 " Sit down before the fire for a quarter of 
 an hour, to be certain of getting the chill out 
 of you, and take a drop of hot brandy-and- 
 water," said Uncle Crabb. 
 
 They proceeded to the kitchen, where was 
 a huge fire of roots and knots, crackling and 
 blazing — the ceiling being garnished with a 
 large bacon-rack, uncommonly well fdled too.
 
 220 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 " There ; go in there and sit down," he 
 continued, pushing Newton in. There were 
 three or four persons in the room, who all 
 made way for him ; and, sitting by the fire, 
 he basked in the blaze. 
 
 " Jinks, come and show me those terrier 
 pups;" and Uncle Crabb and the landlord 
 vanished together. 
 
 There was a very old woman — the land- 
 lord's mother — sitting in the ingle-nook, 
 warming her lean hands over the blaze, and 
 nodding her head from time to time, like a 
 clockwork figure, as she mumbled to herself; 
 and a neat, tolerably well-dressed woman, with 
 a chubby, laughing babe, sat upon the other 
 side warming its little toes. The child 
 opened its great round eyes, and stared at 
 the skinny old dame with all its little might. 
 It was a strange and powerful contrast, that 
 extreme age and extreme youth. The woman 
 was waiting for the omnibus, which passed 
 twice a day to a railway-station some six
 
 NEWTON DOG v am;. 221 
 
 miles distant. Newton sat smoking his cigar 
 and looking at the two alternately for some 
 minutes. Presently, finding the fire rather 
 warm, he got up and walked to the window, 
 which commanded a view of the road, and 
 stood there looking out. A gentleman and 
 two ladies passed. They eyed the house, 
 noticed Newton, and passed on. It was Mr. 
 and the Misses Sharp. 
 
 "My!" "Did you see that?" and "Asto- 
 nishing, the brass of some folks!" broke from 
 the trio simultaneously. 
 
 " The gentleman, if you can call him a 
 gentleman, whom we saw at Mr. Bowers's," 
 said the first sister. 
 
 " If, indeed ! — gentleman ! — smoking a 
 cigar at a Ioav pot-house window!" said the 
 second. 
 
 " Gentleman ! by Gad ! Some low blayg- 
 yard young Ned's been and picked up in 
 his prowlings about the slums of the me- 
 tropolis," said the brother, who was, of
 
 222 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 course, disgusted that the new man hadn't 
 hooked on to one or the other of his charming 
 sisters. 
 
 Now it happened that this little conversa- 
 tion was carried on as they slowly walked 
 along a hedge. It also happened that this 
 hedge separated the roadway from the garden 
 appertaining to The Feathers. It still further 
 happened that a dog-kennel, containing some 
 terrier puppies, was placed just inside this 
 hedge ; and, by a still stranger coincidence, 
 Uncle Crabb happened to be at that very 
 identical moment stooping down, looking at 
 these puppies, and consequently heard most 
 of this delightful conversation. Accordingly 
 he straightened himself suddenly, and thus 
 brought his countenance, which had a most 
 malicious grin upon it, just above the 
 hedge, and within three or four feet of 
 Mr. Sharp's. 
 
 " Good morning, ladies. Good morning, 
 Mr. Sharp. It affords me the greatest
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 223 
 
 pleasure to see you at this interesting 
 juncture." 
 
 And so it did, without doubt, though we 
 very much question if the pleasure was by 
 any means reciprocal, for the faces of the 
 Sharps betrayed surprise and a something 
 between fright and annoyance. 
 
 "A — how de do? I'm sure," said Mr. 
 Sharp, so suddenly staggered by the appari- 
 tion that he hardly knew what he was saying, 
 « A— we— talk of the—" 
 
 " Just so," said Uncle Crabb, accepting 
 the simile and the title it conveyed grace- 
 fully. 
 
 "No, no — I don't mean that — we — that is 
 — we were just talking of a friend of yours." 
 
 " Were you, indeed?" said Uncle Crabb, sig- 
 nificantly. u I thought it had rather been some 
 friend of your own, from the appropriate terms 
 you spoke of him in. Good morning, ladies. 
 Good morning, Mr. Sharp. I am really very sorry 
 to run away from you ; but I am just going
 
 224 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 to smoke a pipe with a gentleman, ' if, indeed, 
 you can call him a gentleman.' Good morning, 
 Mr. Sharp. I'll he sure and rememher you to 
 Xed and his ' low friend ' " — Sharp was an 
 awful coward — "and allow me to advise you 
 in future " — Uncle Crabh began to boil over 
 — " to be sure that the object of your abuse 
 has no friends present ; allow me to advise 
 you so, sir. Good morning, sir." And 
 away walked Uncle Crabb in a towering 
 passion, leaving the Sharps in a pleasant 
 state of vexation, rage, and consternation. 
 
 " Well, mother," said Uncle Crabb, as he 
 entered the kitchen, to the old woman in the 
 chimney-corner, "how goes it?' ! The old 
 woman only replied by a desperate paralytic 
 jerk of that crazy old nob, which looked to 
 Newton as if such another jerk would 
 infallibly jerk it off into the fire, whence he 
 had a grotesque sort of prevision of fishing it 
 with the tongs. 
 
 " How's your mother, Jinks ? ' asked
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 225 
 
 Uncle Crabb of the landlord, who had followed 
 him into the room. 
 
 "Pretty well, sir, if it worn't for the 
 rheumatiz." 
 
 "The what?" asked Uncle Crabb, with 
 some little distaste. 
 
 " The rheumatiz, sir." 
 
 " Oh ! the rheumatiz, eh ! Do you know 
 the best cure for the rheuma^?" emphasiz- 
 ing the ultimate. 
 
 " No, sir ; I wishes I did." 
 
 "Rub it with some mustardism," said 
 Uncle Crabb, sourly. 
 
 " Some what, sir ? " 
 
 " Some nrastardwrn, Jinks — mustard&m 
 fine thing. D — n Sharp, d — n his sisters, 
 d — n the whole family ! " continued Uncle 
 Crabb, kicking a three-legged stool viciously. 
 
 Jinks grinned, looked queerly at Uncle 
 Crabb, but said no more. 
 
 The baby began to fret a little, and the 
 mother spoke to it in nurse's language — 
 
 VOL. I. Q
 
 226 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Did its cherubs, then, burn its toesy woesy, 
 a ducksey wucksey ? " 
 
 " Ma'am," said Uncle Crabb, sharply, " Do 
 you expect that child ever to talk English ? " 
 
 "Yes, sir, I hope so, I'm sure," answered 
 the mother, somewhat abashed. 
 
 " Then why don't you talk English to it ? " 
 
 " Prefers the mother-tongue, I suppose," 
 quoth Newton, amused. 
 
 The mother looked a little crossly at Uncle 
 Crabb ; but when the omnibus drew up at the 
 door, he put her into it so kindly, and held 
 the baby so tenderly — chucking it under the 
 chin, and poking its dimpled face with his 
 finger, that he brought a laugh into the 
 infant's face, and a thankful smile into 
 the mother's. Odd fish was Uncle Crabb. 
 
 A very tall and stout man got down from 
 the omnibus and entered the kitchen ; he was 
 dressed in the fashion of a well-to-do farmer, 
 and displayed a broad-skirted dark green coat, 
 with drab cords and gaiters ; he had a sun-
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 227 
 
 bright, brickdust-coloured face, deepening in 
 places to purple. His eye was an ill-tem- 
 pered, bullying, overbearing one ; and he 
 had had just enough to drink to make him 
 shine in his true colours. 
 
 " Squire Driffield, the man whose bull you 
 made the acquaintance of," whispered Uncle 
 Crabb. 
 
 The Squire called for some hot gin-and- 
 water, and nodded scowlingly to all round. 
 
 "Been to the match, Squire?" asked Mr. 
 Jinks. 
 
 " Yes, and, by , it was the worst single- 
 stick play I ever saw in my life. Single-stick! 
 Why, they played like a a couple of fal-lal 
 boarding-school girls with knitting-needles. 
 But, somehow, Dusty Bob managed to drop 
 on the Sweep's pate in the end, and I lost my 
 money. Talking o' that, I hear some un's 
 been a shootin' at my bull ; " and he looked 
 sternly at Uncle Crabb. " I only wish I 
 knowed who'd done it, I'd show 'um some 
 
 Q 2
 
 228 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 single-stick play ; " and he whirled his ash 
 stick round through his fingers in a rapid, 
 showy manner, and then brought it violently 
 in contact with the floor; "I'd dust their 
 jackets for um. Now, what I say is this — 
 I've common right o' grazin' by them ponds, 
 and, d — n me, if I shuts my bull up for any 
 Sir Johns, or any of their Jimmy Jessamy 
 friends ; he may toss half the county, if he 
 likes, and I'll whack t'other half within a inch 
 o' their lives if they molestys un." And he 
 looked fixedly again at Uncle Crabb. 
 
 Meanwhile three or four people dropped in, 
 and being half dependants, and half admirers, 
 and whole toadies, of the Squire's, that 
 worthy grew noisier. 
 
 " I don't care who a tosses, not I." 
 " You don't, don't you ?" said Uncle Crabb. 
 "No, I don't; and what then?" said the 
 Squire, angrily. 
 
 • "Why, this ; to-day that bull has placed 
 this young gentleman's life in jeopardy."
 
 M.WToN DOGVANE. 22D 
 
 " And did he pepper my bull ? " asked the 
 Squire, savagely. 
 
 "No, he did not ; that piece of service was 
 rendered by another party." 
 
 " I'd a dusted his jacket for — " 
 
 "Would you, indeed?" said Newton, 
 jumping up angrily, and upsetting a glass in 
 his heat. 
 
 "Sit down, my lad," said Uncle Crabb, 
 looking at him with pleasure and surprise, and 
 laying his hands upon Newton's shoulders as he 
 gently pressed him down again. " Sit down ; 
 this big bully is more than a match for you," 
 and you'd only come off with broken bones." 
 
 Newton looked very wroth, but was silent 
 — not from any fear though. 
 
 " That's the truest thing you've said yet," 
 said the Squire, with an ugly grin. 
 
 "It's no truer than what I am about to 
 say. I am coming down to shoot at the 
 ponds on Saturday next, and I advise you to 
 tie your bull up."
 
 230 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " I shan't for you, nor nobody," roared the 
 Squire. 
 
 " So much the worse for the bull then ; for, 
 if he makes himself unpleasant to me, I'll 
 put a bullet through his head, as sure as your 
 name's Driffield." 
 
 " Will you, by ? " 
 
 "Ay, will I," said Uncle Crabb, "as cer- 
 tainly as I would through your own, if you 
 ventured to put your unwieldy paw upon 
 me." 
 
 And Uncle Crabb said this so fiercely, and 
 looked the Squire so steadily in the eye, that 
 the bully felt cowed for a moment, and strove 
 to hide his discomfiture by a kind of low 
 banter ; and he said sneeringly : — 
 
 " And you belongs to one of the larned 
 professions ! " 
 
 "And you to one of the ignorant ones." 
 
 Uncle Crabb turned towards the fire as 
 soon as he saw he had produced an eileot. 
 At this moment Captain Stevens and Ned
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 231 
 
 entered, followed by Buncomb, who bore the 
 basket of lunch with him. 
 
 "You wanted to dust somebody's jacket 
 just now, I believe," said Uncle Crabb, to the 
 Squire. " There's the gentleman who pep- 
 pered your bull," pointing to the Captain. 
 " Undertake him, if you like, and much good 
 may it do you." • 
 
 "I'll make un smart for it," growled the 
 Squire. 
 
 " Will you ? we shall see." 
 
 " We thought you'd need some lunch," 
 said the Captain, " so, as we did not care to 
 be so selfish as to lunch alone, we've brought 
 the basket up with us. Move those glasses 
 further up, and clear this end of the table, 
 Buncomb." 
 
 Buncomb moved one or two, and was about 
 pushing the Squire's gin-and-water a foot or 
 two up the table to make room for the cloth. 
 
 " Leave that glass bide ! " thundered the 
 Squire.
 
 232 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Eh ! " said the Captain, looking with 
 amazement at the angry giant. 
 
 " Leave that glass be ! " 
 
 " Oh ! certainly, though you need not 
 enforce your wishes quite so boisterously. 
 There — that will not interfere with the gentle- 
 man's glass, Buncomb. Put the pie there — 
 that's it ; " and the Capta4n took his seat. 
 
 The others moved towards the table, when 
 the Squire, thinking he had at last found a 
 fitting object to wreak his passion on, and 
 fancying from the Captain's quiet submission 
 that he was afraid of him, jumped up and 
 slapped the table with his ash-stick, making 
 the glasses jump and the room ring. 
 
 " Now then, you, sir ! K and he flourished 
 the stick. 
 
 " Mercy on us ! Is the man out of his 
 senses?" said the Captain. " What do you 
 mean, sir ? Are you talking to me ? " 
 
 " Ah ! you — devil a less ! What do you 
 mean by shooting at my bull ? "
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 233 
 
 "Oh, bother your bull, if that remarkably 
 dangerous animal by the water-side belongs 
 to you." 
 
 " Bother my bull ! But I'm bother'd if I 
 don't bother you for bothering of him." 
 
 All this was said with a dogged determina- 
 tion to have a roAV. 
 
 Nep gave a low growl. 
 
 " Be quiet, Nep. Leave the gentleman's 
 calves alone." 
 
 The Squire winced a little, and looked down. 
 
 " Sit down, sir ; it's ill talking to a 'hungry 
 man. You know the saying, ' A hungry man 
 is an angry man.' I don't want to lose my 
 temper and spoil my lunch. If you've any- 
 thing to say, I'll attend to it after I have 
 eaten. Pie, Charles? I don't know Avhat 
 they have clone with the egg. v And the 
 Captain took no further notice of the Squire, 
 but proceeded to forage the contents of the 
 pie as coolly as if there had been no such 
 person in existence as the Squire.
 
 234 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 The Squire sat down, muttering, " Ye 
 won't get off like that, I tell ye. Temper, 
 ecod ! I'll temper ye ! ' and he sat watching 
 each morsel, until their lunch was ended, 
 when the Captain, pouring out half a tumbler 
 of sherry, filled it up with a little hot water, 
 and added thereto a lump of sugar, and 
 having tasted it to see that it was mixed to 
 his entire satisfaction, lighted a cigar and 
 began to smoke slowly and with the utmost 
 composure. 
 
 " Well ! " said the Squire, who had bottled 
 up his rage till it almost boiled over. 
 
 " Well ! " said the Captain. " It seems, 
 my friend, that you have some desire appa- 
 rently to pick a quarrel with me. I never 
 quarrel ; it wastes words. As for your bull, 
 you deserve to be kicked out of the parish for 
 having such a dangerous beast and allowing 
 it to be at large for a moment. However, 
 if lie annoys me, of course I disperse him to 
 the best of my ability ; that is a matter
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 235 
 
 between the bull and myself. But your 
 making all this noise, and your manner of 
 address, is disagreeable to every one here ; 
 in fact, you are a greater nuisance than your 
 bull. You have nourished that bit of ash at 
 me ; that is a matter between you and me. 
 I never allow people to flourish sticks at me. 
 I generally knock them down when they do ; 
 but, being hungry, I've given you a respite. 
 You pretend, I understand, to some science in 
 the art of single-stick. I will take you at your 
 own weapons, and will give you an opportu- 
 nity of proving your science. A — in fact, I'll 
 give you a lesson gratis ; and I hope and 
 trust that it will be a lesson to you. It shall 
 not be my fault if you don't remember it and 
 profit by it." The Captain reached round to 
 his fishing-rod, and drew out the trolling-top, 
 a springy joint of tough hickory, about the 
 bigness of a common penny cane, or a little 
 smaller, and about a yard in length, ending 
 in about a foot of whalebone, and a stout
 
 236 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 brass ring. He gave it two or three switches 
 to try its springiness ; and then, turning 
 round towards his antagonist, without moving 
 from his chair, or even taking his cigar from 
 his month, he said — " Put lip your stick, or 
 I'll kick yon into the road." 
 
 " Get np !" said the Squire, secretly pleased 
 at the apparently slight weapon the Captain 
 had chosen ; that couldn't afford much guard, 
 he imagined ; though all this excessive cool- 
 ness rather staggered him. But he thought 
 it was what is vulgarly called bounce and 
 show-off, and comforted himself with that 
 idea. Moreover, the Captain lacked at least 
 three inches of his height — a very consi- 
 derable advantage in single-stick ; and as for 
 bone and muscle, there did not appear to be 
 any comparison between them, though the 
 Squire little knew what there was bound 
 up in that apparently slight form. " Get up!" 
 
 " T could not think of disturbing myself. 
 Put up your stick."
 
 NEWTON DOG V am;. 237 
 
 " Mind, it's your own choice — don't thee 
 blame me," said the Squire. 
 
 "Never fear; I won't blame you, if you 
 don't blame yourself." 
 
 Newton trembled for the Captain. The 
 giant seemed to stand towering over him 
 with his powerful ash stick, looking as if he 
 had only to fall upon him to crush him. 
 There was a dead silence in the room. The 
 Captain still smoked his cigar most com- 
 posedly. It was a picture ; the old crone, 
 seeing by their looks that something extraor- 
 dinary Avas going on, peered round the corner 
 of the chimney, and her bleared eyes glistened 
 like two coals of fire from the seeming fog- 
 that surrounded them. The Squire threw 
 himself into a splendid attitude, and certainly, 
 if attitude would have thrashed his opponent, 
 it was a " horse to a handsaw." The Captain 
 merely held his taper-glistening wand up, a 
 little inclining over his right shoulder. The 
 giant meditated for the least fraction of a
 
 238 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 second where the blow should fall, and 
 consequently was the least fraction of a 
 second too late. There was a slight flash 
 through a ray of light that shone between 
 them, and the least possible visible turn of 
 the Captain's wrist, and like lightning the 
 cut fell. The bully uttered a yell of agony 
 as he dashed down his stick, and with 
 both hands to his face, which already 
 streamed with blood, rushed from the room 
 with his cheek cut open to the very bone, 
 from eye to chin. 
 
 " I'm afraid it was rather hot," said the 
 Captain, as he turned once more to the fire, 
 wiped the joint carefully, and then laid the top 
 with the rest of the rod, as if nothing had hap- 
 pened ; " but, confound him, he deserved it." 
 
 Uncle Crabb uttered a grunt of pleasure, 
 and then went out to dress the cut. The old 
 crone's eyes glistened brighter than ever, and 
 she nodded paralytic nods by the score, and 
 chuckled audibly.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 239 
 
 " I'll learn single-stick the instant I get to 
 London," said Newton to himself. " What a 
 jolly thing to be able to walk into a bully at 
 his own game ! "
 
 240 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 NEWTON PERFORMS BEFORE " THE RAG." 
 
 " If I could find a nice quiet prad, now, I'd 
 have half an hour's canter in the park," said 
 our friend Newton to himself, shortly after his 
 return from Crookham. 
 
 It was a sharp, brisk day, with a little 
 sunshine — just enough to remind one that the 
 autumn had not yet quite departed. Newton 
 was tired of signing his name and reading 
 the papers ; and, his father being actively 
 engaged in his own office, he could well be 
 spared. He had been dull, distrait, and 
 uneasy ever since his visit to Crookham. 
 He felt inclined for a little rapid exercise,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 241 
 
 just to get rid of the vapours, — and under 
 these circumstances he spoke the above 
 words. 
 
 Newton's equestrian experience was not 
 extensive, lie had ridden donkeys at Kains- 
 gate, ponies at Heme Bay, and taken a 
 few very trifling lessons of a riding-master at 
 Brighton, and sometimes took a sly airing in 
 the park, or out into the country, when he 
 could get a horse which he felt sure would 
 not run away with him ; and during the 
 latter part of his visit to Crookham he had 
 rubbed up and improved upon what little he 
 knew, by riding out occasionally with Ned 
 and Charlotte, or Bessie (the young ladies 
 took turns, having only one horse between 
 them). Captain Stevens lent Newton a very 
 quiet, steady old hack, and Ned did his best 
 to make his friend tolerably proficient in the 
 art ; on one occasion getting Newton's horse 
 over a ditch, and Newton into it : and upon a 
 subsequent one, over a hurdle, and on to his 
 
 VOL. I. R
 
 242 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 horse's ears, much to the amusement of Miss 
 Charlotte, who happened to be present on 
 both occasions. We question whether he 
 would have attempted it had Bessie been 
 there instead of her sister. Still, with all 
 this experience, he did not feel himself 
 qualified to mount anything strange, or which 
 was not warranted quite quiet and free from 
 vice. This morning, however, he thought he 
 would take a little turn ; and, looking into 
 his father's room, he merely said he was going- 
 out for half an hour, and sauntered away to 
 Bobtail's yard in seach of a " nice quiet 
 prad." 
 
 " Got anything in that'll suit me ? " he asked 
 of the head man of the yard — a mildewy, 
 undersized homunculus, with very bowed legs 
 and a flat head, with a pervading flavour of 
 stable, tobacco, and beer about him. 
 
 "What'ud you like, sir?" was the very 
 natural reply. 
 
 " Oh, something quiet, without any tricks
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 243 
 
 or vice about him," answered Newton, in 
 an off-hand manner. 
 
 " Suit you to a T, sir," quoth the groom, 
 whose name was Tuesday — at least if it was 
 not Tuesday, he answered to that cognomen, 
 which did as well as if the whole bench of 
 bishops had stood sponsors to it. 
 
 " Bring forth the 'orse," said Mr. Tuesday, 
 waving his arm with a theatrical air to a 
 helper, who was engaged in looking on, 
 rubbing his hands Avith a wisp of hay, and 
 chewing a stalk of the same on one side of 
 his mouth, while he spat into a gutter with 
 the other. 
 
 " Which un ? " asked the helper, bringing 
 the straw to the centre of his mouth, and 
 neglecting the gutter for a moment. 
 
 " Why, the Tartur of the II Ukraine breed, 
 surnamed Moses." 
 
 " Boses," said the helper (who had had the 
 bridge of his nose kicked in while examining 
 the hocks of a vicious poster, in early youth) 
 
 R 2
 
 244 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 " Boses, all ! he's id a hudred ad didety fibe, 
 be is." 
 
 And, limping slowly up the yard, be 
 vanished for a minute or two, while Mr. 
 Tuesday took Newton's measure, and then 
 asked him, with an involuntary wink, which 
 was only meant for himself, " How many he 
 could take agin the field for the Metro." 
 
 Newton was considering what he should 
 say, when the ostler returned, leading a most 
 shabby, broken-kneed equine. 
 
 "A very pretty Tartar he is, too," said 
 Newton, looking knowing. 
 
 " That's a uncommon 'orse," said Tuesday, 
 looking innocent. 
 
 " Very likely. Take him back again, 
 young man." 
 
 " I thought you wanted somethin' quiet," 
 said Tuesday. 
 
 " So I did ; but I didn't want ten shillings' 
 worth of sausage-meat all in one lot." 
 
 " Oh ! " said Tuesday, opening his mouth
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 245 
 
 on the word, and then shutting it again like a 
 Swiss nut-cracker. " Then I suppose you 
 won't care to see Aaron." 
 
 " Not if he's at all like his brother." 
 
 " Bring out Villiam Tell." 
 
 " Very odd names you give your horses," 
 said Newton. 
 
 " Hodd names to suit hodd 'orses," said 
 Tuesday. " Names 'em 'cording to their 
 kivaulities. Yilliarn Tell's a 'igh-spirited 'oss." 
 
 " He won't do for me then, I'm afraid." 
 
 "Think not?" 
 
 "No," said Newton, pursing his lips and 
 shaking his head. "Let's have something 
 that's quiet, without being more dead than 
 alive." 
 
 " I see," said Tuesday, " you wants 
 somethin' that won't shy at the sight of a 
 knacker's cart, eh ? ' : and Mr. Tuesday play- 
 fully poked Newton in the ribs. "Ah! 
 you're a knowin' one, you air, any one can 
 see that."
 
 246 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Vith arf ad eye," murmured the helper. 
 
 " If all our customers wos like you," con- 
 tinued Tuesday, " we shouldn't be able to live. 
 Bring out Bright. Calls him Bright 'cause 
 he's a showy 'oss, and a member o' the Peace 
 S'ciety. He is ordered, and 'adn't ought to 
 go out ; but you shall have him as a special 
 faviour, and we'll put t'other gent off with 
 summat else." 
 
 Bright was led out; he suited Newton's 
 ideas ; so, after a due amount of scrambling 
 up, and having a hole taken up here, and a 
 strap let out there, and doing a few jug- 
 gling tricks with the reins, he rode slowly 
 out. 
 
 "Whad dy'e thig o' thad for a caper, 
 Toosday ? " quoth the helper. 
 
 "Think, Villiam? wot can any body think? 
 'cept that he was dro'rd vith the rolls at a 
 quarter afore eight, and consekevently is 
 werry unkimonly slack-baked. There's a flat 
 borned every hour, Villiam, and so much the
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 247 
 
 better for us ; but never mind ; if he gets 
 Bright into a trot, he'll make his back ache 
 for him, or I'm only a purwcyor o' dog's meat ; 
 and if he comes 'cross any horgins, or any- 
 tliink, won't he astonish his weak nerves 
 nuther." 
 
 And the worthy pair laughed in concert, 
 while Newton rode slowly and safely towards 
 Charing-cross, intending to ride down Picca- 
 dilly into the park ; but he changed his 
 mind, and thought he would go through the 
 Birdcage-walk. Opposite the Horse Guards, 
 it struck him that that would be a shorter 
 cut ; other horsemen and carriages were 
 going through, so Newton turned Blight's 
 head in that direction, resolving to follow 
 them. A solitary horseman was before him, 
 a carriage full of ladies (tremendous swells, 
 whose attention, of course, he thought he 
 had engaged) close behind him. The sentry 
 on guard saluted the horseman in front, but 
 directly Newton rode up for admission, brought
 
 248 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 his carbine down smartly, holding it across 
 just before Bright' s nose. 
 
 " Can't pass," quoth the sentinel, with 
 military brevity. 
 
 "Not pass? " said Newton. 
 
 "No." 
 
 "Why not? " asked Newton. 
 
 " Got a pass? " asked the soldier. 
 
 " No." 
 
 " Back," said the Spartan, pushing the 
 carbine against Bright's nose, who, being as 
 Mr. Tuesday affirmed a member of the peace 
 business, was unused to the sight of offensive 
 weapons, and backed rapidly and unpleasantly 
 against the horses of the carriage behind, 
 causing great confusion, and rather discon- 
 certing Newton's seat on horseback. 
 
 The horseman in front, having heard some 
 little discussion going on, turned round to see 
 what was the matter, displaying the features 
 of Captain Stevens. 
 
 "Ah, Mr. Dogvane! how d'ye do? What
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 249 
 
 is the mutter? Can I be of any ser- 
 vice ? " 
 
 " Thank you," answered Newton, recovering 
 his seat and his equanimity. " The man 
 rather frightened my horse — that is all." 
 
 " Are you riding this way ? " and Captain 
 Stevens pointed through the archway. 
 
 "I am — that is, I was — but — " 
 
 " Oh ! I see — a pass. Come along." And 
 they rode slowly through, the sentry again 
 saluting, to whom Newton graciously touched 
 his hat, as he saw the Captain do, in token of 
 his forgiveness. 
 
 "Shall we trot?" 
 
 And the Captain, talking of their friends at 
 Crookham and other topics, put his horse into 
 a trot, and Newton did the same. Assuredly 
 there never was such a rough trotter as that 
 Bright. All up the Mall he stamped and 
 stamped his feet down as if he were pecking 
 holes in the ground to plant them in — stomp, 
 stomp, stomp — bump, bump, bump.
 
 250 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Ned fre-e-e-quently drops i-i-in, and we ha- 
 a-ave a set too-o-o." 
 
 Thus the words were jerked out of Newton 
 in his efforts at conversation. 
 
 " That's rather a rough trotter of yours, I 
 should say," said Captain Stevens, glancing at 
 Bright askance. 
 
 " Oh, con-foun-ded-de-dedly ! " How his 
 back and shoulders, head and arms, began to 
 ache ! Shake, shake, shake — bump, bump, 
 bump. It was intolerable. 
 
 At length the Captain pulled up, and they 
 rode slowly up Grosvenor-place. The walking 
 pace suited Bright, and Newton, too, much 
 better, and Newton straightened himself and 
 tried to appear very much at his ease. 
 Captain Stevens gave him an invitation to 
 come down to the mess at Hounslow, to 
 which station the Captain had just been sent, 
 and Newton accepted it, feeling that he was 
 getting into a very desirable circle of acquain- 
 tance through his old schoolfellow ! So he rode
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 251 
 
 along upon very good — in fact, on improving — 
 terms with himself. When they came to the 
 corner, the Captain had business at Tattersall's, 
 so they left their horses and strolled in. 
 Here Newton was introduced to two or three 
 of the Captain's friends, and tried to appear a 
 judge of horseflesh; but he did not venture 
 beyond shakes of the head, pursings of the lips, 
 and an occasional "hum" or a "ha," which, 
 added to that most sapient and all-penetrating 
 frown, which most people who don't know any- 
 thing of a horse, and some who do, consider 
 it necessary to put on while looking at one, 
 gave him, in his own eyes at any rate, the 
 appearance of knowing a thing or two. 
 
 This little matter over, they betook them- 
 selves to their horses again, and rode down 
 Piccadilly through St. James's Street. 
 Captain Stevens " would look in at the club 
 if Mr. Dogvane would take a glass of sherry 
 and a biscuit with him " — an invitation which 
 Newton accepted ; and leaving their horses to
 
 252 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 be walked up and down by a lad who was 
 looking out for such jobs, they entered, and 
 Newton lunched and became known to more 
 swells. At length he took his leave, and 
 Captain Stevens sat down to write a letter. 
 For a few minutes the Captain sat over the 
 paper, apparently in a brown study, when a 
 roar of laughter from two or three officers 
 with whom they had been chatting, and who 
 were looking out of the window, attracted his 
 attention. 
 
 " Hernandez, bai Jove ! " 
 
 " Well done ! " 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha!" 
 
 " Why, Stevens, your friend is the most 
 perfect thing out since Hernandez." 
 
 "What is the matter? What the deuce 
 are you laughing at ? " and he hastened to 
 the window and soon joined in the laughter. 
 Alas, poor Newton ! Just as he set foot in 
 stirrup, a German band ranged itself beside 
 the pavement, and no sooner was he in the
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 253 
 
 saddle than they struck up a well-known and 
 popular polka. Instantly Bright pricked up 
 his ears, and, after a preliminary caper or two, 
 he cleared a space for himself amongst the 
 spectators, and commenced going round in a 
 ring in the regular up and down circus 
 canter. Bright had belonged to a circus, 
 and round and round in one unbroken ring 
 went the well-trained Bright. Newton pulled 
 and toiled. It was useless. Bright's mouth 
 was iron. Newton glanced up at " The Itag " 
 windows and there — horribile dictu! — were the 
 men, whom he had been recently introduced 
 to, laughing — roaring at him, and even 
 Captain Stevens's well-known features in the 
 full swing of uproarious mirth. Poor Newton ! 
 what wouldn't he have given if the common 
 sewer even would have opened beneath him to 
 hide him ! Suddenly there came a change in 
 the tune, and as suddenly Bright turned short 
 round and commenced cantering in the 
 opposite direction ; but this rapid change was
 
 254 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 too much for Newton's "noble horsemanship," 
 and he shot off at a tangent, and found himself 
 sitting on his antipodes in the street, in the 
 very centre of the crowd. Bright, upon 
 losing his rider, as was his wont, stopped 
 directly and stood still. Screams of laughter 
 from "The Rag;" roars from the crowd, 
 " Go it, old feller ! " " Brayvo ! " " Hooroar ! " 
 " Don't ye know him, Bill ? He's the wild 
 Hingun 'unter at Hashley's!" "My eyes, wot 
 a lark ! " 
 
 " I hope you're not hurt," said the good- 
 natured Captain, who had hurried out at the 
 moment of the accident, and was now helping 
 him to rise. 
 
 " I think not," said Newton, rising slowly, 
 and dealing tenderly with a soreness, partly 
 occasioned by the rough trotting of Bright, 
 and partly by the late violent visitation. 
 
 " Come in, then, and let's get you brushed 
 — Go away, you scoundrels," (to the band), 
 " don't make that hideous row here. Conic
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 255 
 
 in, come in," and he led Newton once more to 
 the steps. 
 
 " Here, you," said Newton to the red- 
 jacketed errand lad ; " lead that devil incar- 
 nate back to Bobtail's yard, and tell his man 
 
 Friday, or Tuesday, or whatever his d d 
 
 name is, that Bright's a bigger beast, if 
 possible, than he is himself. Tell him where 
 and how he displayed his invaluable qualities, 
 and, as for paying for him, tell him I'll see 
 him somethinged and somethinged else first. 
 Here, take my card to him, and be off." 
 
 What a fine thing a tone of command is ! 
 The man touched his hat, and, taking Bright 
 by the rein, proceeded to lead him away ; but 
 Bright displayed considerable aversion to the 
 red jacket, which, possibly, was somehow 
 connected in his mind with war prices, dear 
 oats, and short hay. A good deal of coaxing 
 and persuasion was utterly useless ; a little 
 gentle force only brought into play all his 
 obstinate attributes, and he jibbed almost into
 
 256 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 the kitchen windows. At length, the youth 
 brought the argument to a summary conclu- 
 sion, and giving Bright a tremendous punch 
 on the nose, and following it up with a 
 smart kick on the ribs, Bright became 
 amenable to reason, and with only a slight 
 snort, or occasional inclination to jib — 
 instantly subdued at the sight of the fist — 
 he submitted to be led away, while Newton 
 once more sought the friendly shelter of 
 " The liag."
 
 2.57 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 TIIE NOBLE ART OP SELF-DEFENCE. 
 
 Newton had carried his determination of 
 studying carefully the noble art of self-defence 
 into practice, and commenced his course of 
 tuition under a gentleman of the Fancy 
 known to the public as the Borough Badger. 
 Gentlemen of this calling have appeared so 
 often, in such a variety of histories and 
 sketches, that it is unnecessary to enter into 
 a description of him. Not that we feel un- 
 equal to the task ; for the pock-marked, 
 low-browed, high-cheeked Badger, with his 
 Brighton crop and tight troAvsers, will recur 
 to us ; and we might recount, in the descrip- 
 tor,, i. s
 
 258 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 tive and appropriate language of The Life, 
 how the Badger laid the foundation of his 
 fistic fame by vanquishing Short's Novice in 
 53 rounds, after 1 hour and 45 minutes' 
 contest ; how he then threw a summerset, 
 and presented his opponent with a grain of 
 mint sauce towards a subscription for salve to 
 his sores ; how he was next matched for fifty 
 a side against Caggy Boots, when, after a 
 contest of 94 minutes and 42 rounds, Caggy 
 having put up the shutters {i.e. been beaten 
 blind), and having lost the use of his dexter 
 flipper (right hand), in the early stage of the 
 contest, threw up the sponge in token of 
 defeat ; and how, after being on the shelf 
 some time, upon looking out for a customer, 
 he encountered the renowned Joey the 
 Flamingo, by whom he was vanquished after 
 a plucky struggle of two hours' duration, 
 &c, &c. 
 
 All this, and much more, might we relate, 
 but it is little to the purpose. Suffice it to
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 259 
 
 say that the Badger was one of the old school 
 — a rough-and-ready customer ; very good- 
 tempered, very independent and honest ; 
 slow in taking offence, but an awkward 
 customer when he did take it — a very bull- 
 dog, sturdy fellow, was the Badger. He 
 never imposed upon others, and would not 
 allow any gentleman to be imposed on when 
 in his company ; and the Badger's " Stow 
 it ! " when anything of the kind was attempted, 
 was generally sufficient for all parties. 
 
 One rather characteristic anecdote we must 
 relate of him. Always ready to take the side 
 of the weaker party, he once at a theatre 
 pitched a scoundrel, who was annoying a little 
 lame girl in front of him, over into the pit in 
 his wrath. To be sure the gallery was not 
 very lofty, any more than the character of the 
 theatre ; but the man broke his arm in his 
 fall, and the Badger was most kind and atten- 
 tive to him during his illness, and allowed 
 him a large share of his own hardly-earned 
 
 s 2
 
 260 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 income until he was well and strong 
 
 6 
 
 again. 
 
 Consequently the Badger, owing to his 
 honesty and sturdiness, had many admirers 
 and pupils, and the Fancy respected him in 
 general, though it liked him not, because it 
 was a difficult, indeed a hopeless, matter to 
 arrange a cross with him. The only one he 
 ever entered into proved a sell for the parties 
 who arranged it. It was agreed that the 
 Badger was to lose a certain fight, and was to 
 have a handsome sum for doing so ; but he 
 did not know how to lose, accordingly "he 
 licked the winner as wos to be," as he used 
 to express it when he was telling the story, 
 "in 22 minutes and a 'arf." Such was 
 the gentleman, who, for a moderate remune- 
 ration knocked our friend Newton about twice 
 or three times a-week, teaching him at the 
 same time to do the same kind office for 
 others. 
 
 " Now, sir, let it go. Don't 'it as if you
 
 NEWTON DOC v am:. 2G1 
 
 was afeared to 'it; Imt 'it nut from ver 
 shoulder, sir. Now jest 'it out straight at 
 Muster Spooner." The Badger had a private 
 pique against Spooner, and he would point to 
 a villainously daubed face, supposed to repre- 
 sent that individual, which was tacked on to a 
 sack of sawdust, suspended by a rope from a 
 beam in the ceiling, at which the Badger was 
 wont to exercise his extensors, when he had 
 nothing better to exercise them on. "That's 
 vim for his nob," the Badger would say, as 
 Newton dexterously hit Spooner a severe blow 
 on the nose, and sent the sack spinning round 
 for a minute or two. " Now do that agen, sir. 
 right straight at me." 
 
 Newton would essay, and of course fail, 
 experiencing a sharp jar from the fore-arm to 
 the shoulder, from the Badger's guard. 
 
 " Now, then, ve see the heasv hattitood's 
 best, so as you can step forrard or backard 
 easiest. No straddlin' about like that there : 
 it won't do. If vou leans too much on yer
 
 262 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 right pin you're 'arf as easy agen to knock 
 down ; and if you leans too much on yer left 
 your 'ead's too near to my fives for yer 'ands 
 to take care on it. Trust to yer 'ands 
 and yer pins to take care o' yer 'ead. Free 
 and heasy with 'ands and pins ; anythink 
 awkard and cramped aint science, and what 
 aint science aint no use. Don't bring yer 'ead 
 so far forrard ; keep it a little backarder, or 
 you'll be stoppin' all my blows with it, which 
 looks werry pretty, but aint no ways effective. 
 There ! I knowed you would. Why didn't you 
 counter? Now agen. Look out. That's 
 better, and was pretty sharp too. You'll do in 
 time ; but you don't take care enough o' the 
 mark ; " and, receiving a smart blow on the 
 epigastrium, Newton would fly up against the 
 wall, and stand there panting. But his pluck 
 was good, and he would come to it again and 
 again, and, consequently, he made good pro- 
 gress ; so that in a month lie began occa- 
 sionally to give the Badger as good as he sent,
 
 NEWTON DOGYAXE. 263 
 
 and the Badger owned that, " for a hamatoor, 
 it worn't so heasy to fiddle him." 
 
 Occasionally his friend Ned, who was in 
 town on some business connected with his 
 commission, met him there, and they had an 
 amicable set-to ; during which the Badger 
 would inhale tobocco, and smoke or nod 
 approval or dissent. But more often Newton 
 and his friend strolled in at Parade's, and 
 would do a little pistol-shooting, or have a 
 bout with broad swords, single-sticks, or foils. 
 Here thev would find a good-humoured life- 
 guardsman or two, always ready to instruct in 
 feats of dexterity, with any weapon under the 
 sun. Old Parade (a tall, thin, lathy French- 
 man), and his sallow assistant, Alphonse (rich 
 in crinirial honours), a stray Hungarian, or a 
 Pole or two, a few Italians and Germans, who 
 went to chat over the news, to see those 
 foreign journals Avith the unpronounceable 
 names, and "ze Anglish Times" which one 
 would translate rapidly for the benefit of the
 
 264 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 others, amidst " Ore noms, 'spettos, Teu- 
 fels" and exaspirations in all sorts of 
 tongues. 
 
 There was amongst this motley assembly 
 one person who had often taken the fancy of 
 our friends, and who was a regular attendant. 
 He was an inimitable pistol shot, and would 
 sometimes mark his initial, V. S., upon the 
 target, placing bullet after bullet exactly in 
 the right place, until the letters were com- 
 plete, each bullet touching the other and 
 forming the lines ; and, as a fencer, neither 
 Parade nor the agile Alphonse could beat him 
 at any point. He was very silent, seldom 
 talking much, and seemed little knowm, though 
 he would stand and listen when one of the 
 party read out such portions of the Times as 
 seemed to interest him, bestowing no other 
 comment than a longer or a shorter puff from 
 his short black-pipe, which a Scotch laddie 
 even might almost have envied for its short- 
 ness; albeit they generally smoke their to-
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 205 
 
 bacco closer to their noses than any race of 
 people we ever saw yet. 
 
 He was of middle height, and apparently of 
 slight frame, bnt there Avas a remarkably 
 active, wiry look about him ; his shoulders 
 were broader than they looked ; and, when he 
 stripped his right arm for the assault, though 
 certainly not showing a superfluity of muscle, 
 it was as hard as nails, and the sinews stood 
 out like whip-cord. Very dark-complexioned, 
 with a long, heavy moustache and beard, but 
 little whisker, and his hair cut very short 
 indeed, with a quick, grey, restless eye, and 
 over-hanging eyebrow, he had a daring, 
 lawless air, which gave him the appearance of 
 being, as it is commonly said, " up to anything 
 from pitch-and-toss to manslaughter." 
 
 Our friends used, jokingly between them- 
 selves, to call him " the Bravo ; " and a very 
 bravoish look he bore. 
 
 One day Edward was fencing with a young 
 Barrister, with whom he had a slight ac-
 
 266 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 quaintance. Newton, who frequently looked 
 in at that hour, had not yet arrived. The 
 Bravo, as we will call him till we know his 
 name, was smoking his dhudeen, as usual, and 
 nursing his right knee, while he sometimes 
 listened to the news, and sometimes looked on 
 at Edward and his friend. 
 
 " A hit ? " said Edward, slightly touching 
 his opponent. 
 
 " Oh dear, no," answered the young man 
 decidedly, who, like most fencers, had a huge 
 objection to acknowledging a hit, and, beyond 
 all that, was blessed with a greater share of 
 conceit than usual. 
 
 " There, then," said Ned, disengaging, 
 feinting, and thrusting in carte over the 
 arm. 
 
 " No ; certainly not, I assure you," replied 
 his opponent, bunglingly putting the adverse 
 blade aside. 
 
 " H'ni ! " said Ned ; and a fresh series of 
 parries, thrusts, &c. were gone through, during
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 267 
 
 which Ned claimed another touch, which was 
 still denied ; and then, being winded, sat 
 down beside the Bravo, who had been looking 
 on at the last set-to with some interest. 
 
 "Your opponent doesn't allow your hits?" 
 said that gentleman, inquiringly. 
 
 Ned looked up rather surprised. He had 
 never interchanged a word with him before, 
 and, indeed, seldom heard the sound of his 
 voice, which, by the way, was low, full, and 
 musical to a degree. 
 
 " No," answered Ned, with a laugh ; " he 
 hates to be hit, and still more, to allow it ; ' : 
 and he looked at his friend, who was drinking 
 beer, and had his back turned towards them. 
 
 " Why don't you thrust home, and then 
 drop your hand and forearm so ? " continued 
 the Bravo, as he suited the action to the 
 word. 
 
 Ned did not exactly see the object of the 
 advice, but he gave a short nod and deter- 
 mined to act upon it ; and, his opponent being
 
 268 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 ready, they commenced again. Presently, 
 Ned hit him full and fair, and, keeping the 
 foil fixed, he suddenly repeated the action the 
 Bravo had used, and the blade was literally 
 shivered against his friend's breast ; and Ned, 
 not being thoroughly up to the dodge, and 
 pressing somewhat too heavily, narrowly 
 escaped running him through with the part 
 that remained in his hand. 
 
 " There could be no mistake about that," 
 said Ned ; and the Bravo got up, saying : — 
 " A hit, a hit, a very palpable hit," and, 
 taking a pistol from Alphonse, was soon to be 
 heard engaged in writing his initials on the 
 target in the next room. Newton had come 
 in at this moment, and was staring with as- 
 tonishment at the narrow escape and the 
 broken foil. Old Parade, too, had seen the 
 whole thing from the distance, and came 
 running up, calling to Alphonse : — 
 
 " Alphonse, scelerat, another blade for 
 M'sieu Bower — Diable ! dat vos Signor
 
 NEWTON dog van k. 209 
 
 Sartoris " — to Ned ; " I see de counsel he was 
 gif you de loin. lie shall have stab some von 
 in my salon presently, and I will be mine — 
 Ah ! not dat blade. Bah ! Cre nom ! 
 Alphonse ! stupide ! " and a volley of Gallic 
 expletives went at Alphonse. 
 
 " What's his name ? " said Ned. 
 
 " Sartoris, M'sieu." 
 
 "Why, what countryman is he?" He's 
 a deuced clever fencer ; but, upon my 
 soul, Baylis was very near getting his 
 gruel." 
 
 " I vos not know vot his country mans vas. 
 He spik French and Italian comme un natif — 
 Allemand et Espagnol all alike. Hongrise he 
 spik leetle and Eastern tongues moche. He 
 is superb wis de small sword — more quicker 
 que l'eclair. Wis de pistolet — ah ! magnifi- 
 que. La premiere fois he vas com here," con- 
 tinued the chatty Parade, with appropriate 
 and striking gesture, " il a marque son nom — 
 write his signat sur la targe, pour une
 
 270 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 gageure — a leetle bet. He make von leetle 
 bet — de deux tasses de cafe, et des cigarres, et 
 le prix de l'amnmmtion, wis my compatriote 
 Pavilion, maitre d'armes de chasseurs sous 
 l'Empire, et moi-myself. Ze spectateurs con- 
 ceive him vanteur — vat is it ? boast — brag ? 
 Dey lay ten, twenty, quarante, seventi franc 
 on de issue. Bot he say, 'Merci, messieurs, 
 non. I shall not vish to vin your monnaies ; 
 mais, attendez.' And he shoot, shoot a big 
 V complet ; next un I parthit ; N C. De 
 shoot vas grand ; den E and N beautiful ! 
 but I tink I prefere it not at my charge — 
 expense. I vas strike de vager, as you say, 
 and pay ze cafe and cigarre, and vat vas 
 maintenant snooted. Et Pavilion, who say it 
 was magnifique et superb, too, vas satisfait, 
 parfaitement, likewise, and would not trouble 
 to continue de gentilhomme, and we pay huit 
 douzaines et cinq — von hondre and von 
 charges of de pistolet. Ah ! ha ! C'est un 
 brigand terrible, mais un gentilhomme parfait;"
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 271 
 
 and Parade, with a bow and a flourish, stepped 
 off in another direction. 
 
 "What did he say? " asked Newton, whose 
 knowledge of French had been confined 
 totally to his school days, and who had only 
 half heard the last sentence. 
 
 "Why," answered Ned, tossing up and 
 catching by the handle his new foil, and then 
 punching imaginary holes in the floor, and 
 nodding to his late antagonist, who had 
 dressed meantime, and was gradually working 
 his way to the door, carelessly and slowly, as 
 if he didn't wish to appear chagrined at his 
 palpable defeat. "Why, he says something 
 very like what I heard a waterman once say 
 
 of Lord I) , ' I likes him, sir, 'acos he is sich 
 
 a gentleman, and can be sech a blackguard.' ' 
 
 " Not a very unusual qualification, if Ave take 
 the words in their everyday signification," quoth 
 Newton. " And how do you make his name 
 out ? V-i-n-c-e-n, that can't be anything but 
 Vincent, or Vincentio. Don Vincentio Abra-
 
 272 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 cadabara. Good name that for a bravo — ' Un 
 brigand terrible/ ' mimicking Parade's air. 
 At this moment Newton saw his friend sud- 
 denly change colour violently, and, turning 
 round, beheld the subject of their conversation 
 close behind him, where he must have heard 
 the whole of the last sentence or tAvo. 
 
 "Nothing of the sort," said that individual, 
 with a pleasant smile at the perplexity upon 
 the countenances of the friends. " Nothing 
 of the sort — Vincent Sartoris, of any part of 
 this world he happens to reside in, and 
 heaven knows where in the next, at your 
 service. Pray, don't feel annoyed or uncom- 
 fortable — your conversation was not meant for 
 my ear. Even if it had been, I should not 
 care, as I am perfectly accustomed to all sorts 
 of practical curiosity, and therefore a little 
 harmless theoretical is not likely to disturb my 
 equanimity. Pray, do me the favour to try a 
 pass or two. Your guard is somewhat 
 cramped ; so there, a little more freedom, yet
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 273 
 
 perfect firmness. Nothing but long practice 
 will give you that. Feel your adversary's 
 blade, but don't bear too heavily upon it, 
 unless you are about to disengage, because if 
 he disengages unexpectedly whilst you bear on 
 his blade, you force your own blade out of the 
 true line of defence ; but if you are about to 
 disengage, it may not be a bad plan momen- 
 tarily, because the pressure he must keep up 
 naturally forces his out when you do disen- 
 gage ; otherwise a light and easy play of the 
 wrist is advisable. II a, ha ! I've a great 
 mind to break one of old Parade's pets, to 
 pay the old scoundrel out. 1 dare say he has 
 been maligning me shamefully. A hit? yes 
 — another — a little higher. That's better. 
 Did he tell you how I rooked Pavilion and 
 himself out of von hondre and von charges of 
 de pistolet? Capital — that's better. A hit 
 — another, lighter, quicker — so." 
 
 And thus the new and strange acquain- 
 tance ran on, fencing perfectly, and with the 
 
 vol. I. T
 
 274 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 utmost ease ; pinking Ned all over, just when 
 and where he pleased. 
 
 " The Captain wouldn't stand a chance with 
 him," said Ned to Newton, as they walked to 
 the lavatory. " He'd be a baby in his hands ; 
 and he's almost, if not quite, a match for 
 Parade; and as for Alphonse, why he's 
 nowhere." 
 
 Finally, they all three sat down, and got 
 into a conversation about various arms and 
 weapons. 
 
 " Good steel, that," said Ned, flourishing a 
 light cavalry sabre, and bending it against the 
 floor. 
 
 " That," said Sartoris, whom we shall now 
 call by his name. " That, steel ! If you call 
 that steel, I wonder what you would call my 
 conventicle ? " 
 
 " Your what? " asked Newton. 
 
 " Conventicle. I've got a real old Da- 
 mascus scimitar, and I call it my conventicle, 
 because its eloquence is of the most convincing
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 275 
 
 kind, and anything but prosy. I got it from 
 a Turcoman sheik, who presented it to me for 
 saving the life of a very valuable mare he 
 possessed. A strong arm and dexterous 
 would almost slice that thing in two with it. 
 I can cut a suspended candle in halves with 
 it, which, if it seem simple to you, you can 
 try. And I could also cut seven or eight 
 oranges in halves, placed one behind the other, 
 without driving one off the table." 
 
 " I thought there was a good deal of myth 
 about those Damascus blades," said New- 
 ton. 
 
 " A myth I should like to see cultivated 
 now-a-days ; but we've lost the art, sir. Every- 
 thing now is sacrificed to cheapness. The 
 same old fellow had one of those ancient 
 daggers which they prize so much ; and in a 
 firm, true hand, few coats of mail would be 
 proof against it. I've seen him drive it 
 through two copper coins, each of them 
 nearly as thick as a penny, with ease. But it 
 
 T 2
 
 276 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 was a great heir-loom, and belonged to the 
 tribe." 
 
 " By Jove ! I should like to see that 
 scimitar," said Ned, " and to see you cut a 
 candle in two. I can easily fancy it requires 
 a good deal of dexterity." 
 
 " Should you ? " said Sartoris. " Then, if 
 you like " — and here he hesitated, and his 
 bronzed face assumed a deeper tint of red, 
 but he shook it off directly. " Pshaw ! why 
 should a man be ashamed of his abiding place ? 
 I've had many, many a worse shelter in forest 
 and jungle, in savannah, prairie, or sandy 
 desert. Ay, many and many a night, when 
 drenched to the skin in a tropical storm, would 
 I have given something handsome for the 
 friendly shelter of my now despised attic. 
 Comforts are, after all, but comparative in 
 their value, and it would be a palace to an 
 Esquimaux or a Hottentot; so if you don't 
 mind clambering up six pair of stairs in the 
 very doubtful neighbourhood of Tottenham-
 
 NT.WTON DOGVANE. 277 
 
 court Road I can offer you a chill um of Shiraz, 
 or, if you prefer it, as I confess I do, a cutty 
 and a block of Cavendish to cut from — real 
 honey dew. I can't offer you much else ; but 
 you shall gladden your eyes, if you at all care 
 about it, with a sight of the conventicle and 
 one or two other curious specimens of arms." 
 
 Our friends, professing themselves delighted 
 with the prospect, accepted the invitation for 
 the next day with pleasure. The Bravo 
 wrote a word or two on a card, gave it to 
 Ned, and, slightly bowing, bade them good 
 day and retired. 
 
 " By the way, Ned," asked Newton, as they 
 walked into the street, " who was that lady 
 you were riding in the park with yester- 
 day ? " 
 
 Ned did not appear to hear the question, 
 and Newton repeated it. 
 
 " Oh ! nobody you know," answered Ned ; 
 and then, as if an afterthought struck him, 
 he asked, " What did you think of her? ,]
 
 278 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 "Well, I certainly thought she was very- 
 handsome." 
 
 " She is — lovely ; ' ' and Ned again dropped 
 the conversation. 
 
 " Where did you become acquainted ? " 
 asked Newton, perseveringly ; but Ned was 
 again dumb.
 
 279 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 LIFE AMONGST THE CHIMNEY-POTS. 
 
 Little Tootle Street, Tottenham-court Road, 
 is not an aristocratic neighbourhood ; it is a col- 
 lection of lodging-houses, whence, at all hours 
 of the day and night, issue professional people 
 and professionals. There is a considerable 
 difference between the two ; though a 
 foreigner would perhaps be puzzled to under- 
 stand it. The lodging-houses of Little Tootle 
 Street contain lodgers of higher and lower 
 pretensions. The higher they abide the lower 
 their pretensions, and vice versd, by a species 
 of inverse ratio. The parlours engrave 
 Bedford Square on their cards, from their
 
 280 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 proximity to that locality. The upper floors, 
 for the most part eschewing cards, and unwilling 
 to mislead their friends who may come to seek 
 them, are content to head their correspond- 
 ence with Tottenham-court Road ; while few 
 people know who the upper floors and 
 attics are at all, where they live, or how, 
 or indeed anything about them. They go in and 
 out humbly — nobody troubles their heads about 
 them ; and even the regular lodging-house inaid- 
 of-all-work (who by the way is invariably either 
 Irish, Scotch, or Welsh, and never English, 
 and who lives apparently in the coal-cellar — 
 heaven, her missus, and herself only know 
 how) is the only person who knows their 
 names, and that is, generally speaking, all she 
 does know about them ; for they do for 
 themselves in the very fullest lodging-house 
 sense of the word. 
 
 Pianos rumble everlastingly in Little 
 Tootle Street, and huge wind instruments 
 appear to gape with astonishment at the
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 2ft 1 
 
 noise they make, as they pump forth the 
 woes of Little Tootle Street and its occupants ; 
 ■while violins, et hoc genus, wail complainingly 
 at all hours the most dismal " Carnavals de 
 Venise " that Venice herself could by any 
 possible means experience under the most 
 depressing of circumstances. 
 
 Having run the gauntlet of a complete 
 orchestre monstre, our two friends stood 
 opposite No. 19, Little Tootle Street, at 
 about four of the clock on the afternoon after 
 the invitation we have seen given in our last 
 chapter. 
 
 "Let me see," said Edward, referring to 
 the paste-board, "19, Little Tootle Street — 
 corner house, is it? What a cramped hand ! 
 Ay, sure enough, this must be it." 
 
 "Shall I knock?" asked Newton, imme- 
 diately suiting the action to the word, and 
 not waiting for an answer. Some minutes 
 passed, and they rapped again, and after 
 some little pause the door was opened
 
 282 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 by a ferret-eyed Scotch wench, who was 
 vainly endeavouring to bolt some half- 
 masticated food, and. violently choking in 
 the attempt. 
 
 " Is Mr. Sartoris at home ? " asked Newton, 
 with vast politeness. 
 
 The Scotch maid opened her eyes so wide, 
 that it was evident to our friends that Sartoris 
 was not often troubled with visitors. At 
 length, having swallowed the obstinate morsel, 
 she shut the door, and proceeded to the 
 stairs, saying : — 
 
 " Ou ay, gang till the tap;" and having 
 condescended to say this much, she vanished 
 to regions below, in apparent disgust at having 
 put herself out of the way to answer the door 
 for " the attic." 
 
 Our friends being left to themselves, having 
 nothing else for it, commenced the ascent, 
 up, up, up, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 nights of stairs; 
 and yet another. 
 
 " Heavens and earth !" said Newton, pant-
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 283 
 
 ing ; " Albert Smith's Mont Blanc is a fool to 
 this." 
 
 They stood opposite a snpernaturally narrow 
 and dirty flight of broken steps. 
 
 " Come along, old boy," said Ned, and with 
 one more effort they stood at the top. 
 
 There was no landing-place, nothing but 
 a low black door before them. At this they 
 knocked ; it opened, and they entered. 
 
 " Well, you see, we have scaled your for- 
 tress," quoth Ned. 
 
 "I am glad to see you in my lofty habita- 
 tion. Pray, make yourselves at home, and 
 comfortable as you can," was the reply. 
 
 We must describe Vincent Sartoris's attic. 
 It contained a bed, a chair, a small three- 
 legged table, a wash-hand basin, jug, and a 
 glass ; and that was all it did contain, by 
 way of furniture. The window, which was 
 open, looked out upon the leads, which were 
 bounded in front, some three feet from the 
 window, by a low parapet wall, beyond which
 
 284 NEWTON DOGYANE. 
 
 vast stacks of chimneys, church spires, and 
 other lofty buildings might be seen. Over 
 the remarkably small grate was fixed a tem- 
 porary but capacious mantel-shelf, greatly out 
 of proportion to the grate, and innocent of 
 paint. This was an article of luxury of 
 Vincent's own construction. It was covered 
 with a multitude of things, and over it hung 
 a crooked Turkish scimetar, which Newton 
 surmised rightly was the famed conventicle. 
 Two or three swords of different shapes, 
 a six-shot revolver, and a crooked Moorish 
 dagger ; an Arkansas tooth-pick, or bowie 
 knife ; an ancient spear-head ; and a single 
 modern duelling-pistol, whose fellow reposed in 
 a baize-lined mahogany-case, which was lying 
 open on the bed. Three or four skins of 
 wild beasts formed the coverlet of the bed ; 
 and the head of a panther grinned jovially 
 at them, with a pipe stuck in his mouth and 
 a Turkish fez on his head. From over the 
 mantel-shelf other trophies of Mr. Sartoris's
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 285 
 
 skill in destroying the savage monsters of 
 the desert and forest were scattered about 
 the room, and gave it a most picturesque 
 appearance. 
 
 Mr. Sartoris — or, as we are getting familiar 
 with him, let us call him Vincent — was smok- 
 ing the invariable short pipe when our friends 
 entered, and did the duties of hospitality with 
 as much politeness and grace as if his attic 
 were a palace. It seems odd, perhaps, to 
 say so, and you might laugh at the idea of 
 a man doing the honours in an attic ; but 
 Vincent was not a man to be laughed at ; 
 everything he did was perfectly easy, natural, 
 and gentlemanlike ; and it no more seemed 
 odd to him to be hospitable and pleasant and 
 jovial, and all that in an attic in Tottenham- 
 court Iload, than it would in a tent in the 
 desert, an Indian wigwam, or even a grand 
 establishment in Bedford Square, or, for the 
 matter of that, even in Tyburnia or Bel- 
 gravia.
 
 286 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " Ben, get off that box, and let the gen- 
 tleman have it, and fetch me that skin;" 
 and Ben, -who was a dog, and a nondescript 
 dog, bred between a Newfoundland and a 
 bull, got gravely down from the box upon 
 which he had been reposing, and dragged 
 the indicated skin — a beautiful black bear- 
 skin — towards his master. Vincent threw it 
 over the box Ben had vacated, and offered it 
 as a seat for Newton. Ned was favoured with 
 the chair, whilst Vincent sat on the foot of 
 the bed. 
 
 "You smoke, I know," said their host. 
 " Which shall I offer you — Shiraz, bird's-eye, 
 or Cavendish ? They are all here ; " and he 
 lifted down a small box from a shelf in a 
 recess at the side of the fire-place. Ned 
 preferred bird's-eye, and he chose it now. 
 Newton had never tasted Shiraz ; so he 
 indulged in a long Jasmin tube and large 
 bowl of n very mild and pleasant substance 
 which gave him, as it does most novices,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 287 
 
 a faint idea of a freshly-erected hay-rick with 
 a bran new tarpaulin over it — and not such a 
 very unpleasant idea either. 
 
 "Now what will you do in the drinking 
 way ? Are you coffee drinkers ? I can make 
 it in a minute by yon invention of my own," 
 pointing to a small cylinder which in the 
 distance looked like a tin quart pot. " I 
 ought to make a fortune by that thing. 
 Simplest thing in the world ; boils and broils 
 at the same time, and all for the small charge 
 of one farthing. A penn'orth of my stuff will 
 cook four meals ; and those things could be 
 made and sold at a shilling a-piece, and pay 
 me 50 per cent. then. 
 
 " But why don't you bring it out ? " asked 
 Ned. 
 
 " Bring it out ! Pooh ! none but fools in 
 my circumstances bring things out now ! 
 Wise men, rich men, and men of the world, 
 lie in wait and steal 'em when they are 
 brought out. The fools do kick now and
 
 288 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 then, and do go to law with them ; the wise 
 men go to law too. Their purses are the 
 longest ; the fools sometimes die ruined and 
 broken-hearted, and the wise men make 
 fortunes out of them. Ah ! it's true enough, 
 patent law, like all other law in England, is 
 quite a question of money. I brought a 
 thing out once. I never had but 2000/. for a 
 capital ; indeed, it was all I had. It was a 
 very great public benefit, my invention, and 
 it was pirated of course. I went to law and 
 won my cause ; it was moved to another 
 court, and then another, and then back 
 again. I sunk 1700 of my 2000 in the job ; 
 and then, seeing I had no chance, pulled in. 
 The pirate has a villa at Richmond, a house 
 at Brighton, and another in yon square, 
 which he made out of my brains ; and I have 
 travelled for a living since, and written 
 travels, &c, for twopenny papers." At this 
 moment a low bark came from Ben, who had 
 walked out through the window on to the
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 280 
 
 leads. " There is the boy for copy, which 
 I had just finished when you entered — I beg 
 your pardon, will either of you prefer beer to 
 coffee ? " 
 
 " I think I should," said Newton, who was 
 not a coffee drinker, " only the trouble of 
 fetching it ; " and Newton thought of the 
 flights of stairs. 
 
 " Oil, pray don't let your ideas wander in 
 that direction. We do without the Alps, as 
 I call the six flights of stairs you had to 
 mount, in all those little matters. Indeed, I 
 may say 1 have Napoleonised them. If you 
 would see how I manage, follow me ; " — and 
 taking the paper which he had referred to off 
 the table, Vincent stepped upon a box, and 
 so through the open window, and our friends 
 followed him. 
 
 No. 19 was a corner house in the street, 
 the front of which was opposite the attic 
 windows ; the other side of the house, which 
 formed one of the sides of the angle, went 
 
 vol. i. u
 
 290 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 sheer down into a blind court, and on this 
 side it was all dead wall — no windows. On 
 the angle of the wall sat Ben, who was look- 
 ing assiduously down into the court, and 
 wagging his tail slowly in token of some sort 
 of recognition. Projecting slightly over the 
 wall was a small temporary windlass, or crane, 
 with a stout cord wound on it, to which was 
 attached a small basket which lay upon the 
 leads. 
 
 Looking over into the street, they saw a boy 
 waiting, in evident expectation of something 
 from above ; he did not wait long, for, 
 placing the papers in the basket, with a six- 
 pence, Vincent launched it over the parapet, 
 and, setting the windlass in motion, allowed 
 it slowly to descend into the street. As he 
 did so he gave a shrill whistle, and from a 
 public-house which formed the opposite angle 
 of the court, on the other side of the way, 
 emerged a potboy, who, looking up to the 
 parapet, received a telegraphic communication,
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 291 
 
 and re-entering the house, returned speedily 
 with a foaming pot of half-and-half. By this 
 
 time the basket had reached its destination ; 
 the lad took out his papers, and, nodding, 
 vanished round the corner in the midst of a 
 shrilly-whistled bar of "Partant pour la 
 Syrie." 
 
 The potboy placed the pot carefully in the 
 basket, took out the sixpence, and retired ; the 
 basket was wound up and returned to its 
 place. 
 
 " What a capital contrivance ! " quoth 
 Newton. 
 
 "Yes," said Vincent, "saves no end of 
 legs. There are some advantages in living in 
 an attic, which the lower regions don't enjoy. 
 There's a stronger cord and a larger basket, 
 which I clap on for heavy goods, as coals, &c. 
 &c. ; and in case of fire, you see, it serves for a 
 fire-escape ; or I can get to the other end of the 
 street in five minutes — another advantage in 
 London " — and Vincent pointed to the range 
 
 r -2
 
 292 NEWTON DOG VANE. 
 
 of parapet, which, with a low party-wall 
 between each house, ran the whole length of 
 the street. " The only thing I miss is my 
 garden. I always had a garden in Paris, but 
 the smoke kills everything here, so one cu- 
 cumber-frame is all I can manage ; " and, 
 turning into a slight recess, he pointed to a 
 small cucumber-frame, now tenanted only by 
 a few withering and yellow leaves. " I have 
 a weakness," he continued, " for cutting my 
 own cucumbers in the season ; besides, it 
 amuses me to cultivate something ; and a man 
 must have something to take an interest in." 
 " But how on earth did you manage?" 
 " Oh, the windlass does wonders ; got it all 
 up that way ; and an acquaintance of mine — 
 travelling market-gardener — donkey-cart mini 
 — did the rest. You should have seen my 
 beans, and peas, and lettuces, and even flowers, 
 — in Paris, though. Yonder's my target," — 
 and he pointed across the street to a wide 
 stack oi chimneys, whereon was affixed a
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 298 
 
 round iron plate, showing marks of Vincent's 
 handiwork. 
 
 " But isn't it dangerous? " asked Newton. 
 
 "Dangerous! How? I never miss my 
 aim ; and when the target is black all over, my 
 friend opposite — a medical student, not a bad 
 fellow either — re-whitens it for me ; that's 
 about once a week, for pistol shooting, to 
 excel in it, requires constant practice. 
 There's one spot of white left there now ; " 
 and stepping into the room, he took down the 
 pistol they had noticed from its hook, raised 
 it carefully in the direction of the target, 
 fired, and the spot of white, which was near 
 the outer rim of the target, vanished. 
 Having accomplished this, he carefully wiped 
 the lock of the pistol, cleaned the barrel out 
 with a piece of oiled rag, and returned the 
 pistol to its place. 
 
 " Did you ever use that pistol for other 
 than peace? That is, for — " and Newton 
 hesitated.
 
 294 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 " At a human, do you mean ? " said Sartoris, 
 coolly. " Oh, yes ; and the other one too. 
 Let me see, it was this pistol — no — yes, this 
 was the pistol I shot Heinkerstrom with at 
 Hougoumont. I know it by the mark on the 
 stock; that's where his bullet glanced from, 
 grazed my knuckle, and ripped up my sleeve, 
 just lifting the skin and baring the muscle. 
 Lucky for me, my pistol covered my head." 
 
 " And did you kill him ? " 
 
 "As dead as a stone. I went there on 
 purpose." 
 
 " Went there on purpose ! " said Ned, 
 with something like a thrill of horror. 
 
 "Ay, indeed, I did. It was a matter of 
 revenge and expiation, perfectly justifiable. 
 Possibly you don't hold with these notions, or 
 even with duelling at all ; I know most 
 people don't — they call it savage, murder, and 
 all that ; no doubt it is in some instances, but 
 no system is perfect. In the matter of this 
 very defunct scoundrel, the cause of my
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 295 
 
 seeking him at all was one of these very cases. 
 And there are many cases which may occur in 
 the conrse of life which no law — however, I 
 won't enter into an argument in favour of 
 duelling. I daresay I should not make a con- 
 vert of you, although I had the best of the 
 argument. You see this blackguard — but I 
 must begin at the beginning — Charley Sache- 
 verel was an old schoolfellow of mine ; my 
 earliest — in fact, my only friend. I had 
 often protected him at school, and prevented 
 his being bullied; and Charley, in return, 
 loved me like a brother. Poor lad ! I'm 
 sure I loved him too. They called us Pylades 
 and Orestes at school. Charley was, like 
 myself, without a near relation in the world ; 
 though he had plenty of money, with guardians 
 and all that. At last Charley came of age. 
 He had fallen in love with a very pretty girl 
 a short time before, and wanted to marry her 
 off hand ; but her friends thought her young, 
 and Charley young, too, so they advised liini
 
 296 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 to see a little more of the Avorld first — take a 
 tour, and so forth. Charley didn't want to 
 go abroad; he was rather domestic, stay-at- 
 home — very innocent, harmless, and quiet, 
 though there was a bit of the devil in him 
 too, when he was put out. But the friends 
 advised the girl to wait for a twelvemonth, and 
 she consented ; so, as there was nothing else 
 for it, Charley set out on his tour. We 
 needn't enter into where he went, or what he 
 did ; it is sufficient to say that within about a 
 month of his intended return he found him- 
 self at Ems, where he fell in with this scoun- 
 drel, Yon Heinkerstrom. I should think 
 Charley hardly ever touched a card or a dice 
 in his life; but Heinkerstrom and one or two 
 others got hold of him, and by degrees infected 
 him. To shorten the story, they kept him there 
 long past the time when he was expected 
 home to be married, and in the end entirely 
 ruined him. A quarrel sprung up, and Hein- 
 kerstrom, who was a noted swordsman and
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 207 
 
 pistol shot, had his victim out, who scarcely 
 knew one end of a pistol from another, and 
 as he brutally said, ' having paid avcII for 
 his life, he sold it to him;' but he shot him 
 in the thigh and smashed the bone, so that 
 he was obliged to lose his leg. Poor lad ! I 
 shall never forget that pale, pinched face, the 
 last time I had seen it so ruddy and joyous 
 with health, as he hobbled on crutches. 
 Having lost a quarter of himself, and nearly 
 all his fortune, the lady excused herself from 
 having anything further to do with him, or 
 even from seeing him ; alleging his late 
 neglect of her as the reason, and pretending 
 to think he had completely thrown her over. 
 Poor fellow ! He was quite prepared to 
 relinquish his engagement, though he did not 
 expect the blow to come from her. It was 
 cruel, abominable. Six weeks after, she 
 married young Hagley, of the Stock Ex- 
 change ; and in another twelvemonth ran off 
 to Brussels with a scamp, who, of course,
 
 298 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 threw her off when he grew tired of her. 
 She got rather notorious at Rome, where 
 I often saw her. She was very pretty. I 
 don't know where she is now ; I have not 
 heard of her for some time. Since that 
 moment I have forsworn woman." 
 
 Vincent paused ; he had been speaking in a 
 low, subdued voice; he pulled out his hand- 
 kerchief and blew his nose violently, re-filled 
 his pipe in silence, and played with Ben's 
 ears, who had in dog-like sympathy thrust his 
 muzzle into his master's hand, and placed 
 one of his huge ungainly paws on his knee. 
 Bending over the dog for some seconds, 
 Vincent sent forth dense puffs of smoke, 
 and hid his face behind the cloud ; while 
 Newton and Ned looked on at this strong 
 evidence of feeling with interest and expec- 
 tation. 
 
 " It seems strange that I should speak 
 of all this to you," said Vincent, at length, 
 raising his head and clearing his voice, which
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 299 
 
 was husky — " you, who tire comparative 
 strangers to me, and of whom I know so 
 little. But something — something wh — ," 
 and he hesitated — " seems to impel me to 
 do it ; and the first time I saw you" — 
 turning to Ned, " I was struck hy a strong 
 resemblance in feature between you and my 
 poor Charley. So very strong ! Could you 
 have been in any way related?" And he 
 looked earnestly and fixedly at Xed, as if a 
 great deal depended on his reply. 
 
 " I should think not," said Ned ; " 1 
 don't know of our having any relations of 
 that name." 
 
 " It may be but a chance resemblance," 
 continued Vincent, with a heavy sigh ; " I had 
 a double myself at Brussels, who belonged to 
 the king's body-guard, or something of that 
 sort, I believe, and many a strange contretemps 
 happened in consequence. But you may as 
 well lunch with me, for I am hungry — and, 
 when I can, usually eat when I am so — 
 
 &
 
 300 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 though my fare is neither varied nor dainty ; 
 and I will continue the story while I get the 
 things out. 
 
 And, taking their silence for consent, he 
 turned to a cupboard and took forth a 
 plate or two, &c, a knuckle of ham in 
 fair condition, a box of sardines, and the 
 remains of a barrel of oysters, which he 
 commenced opening with much adroitness, 
 continuing his story between whiles ; to the 
 remainder of which we must devote another 
 chapter.
 
 301 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 A DUEL WITH A VENGEANCE. 
 
 While he prepared the necessaries for the 
 lunch, Vincent thus continued his story : — 
 
 " The news finished him, acting upon his 
 shattered health. He turned his face to the 
 wall, and in less than a week it was all over. 
 Having paid the first of my last duties to my — 
 ah — friend," and he again hesitated strangely, 
 " I began to think about my second — ven- 
 geance. I have said Von Heinkerstrom was 
 an admirable swordsman and pistol shot. I 
 was an admirable swordsman too. From a 
 child I had evinced a strong turn for it. My 
 practice was constant. I had fenced in Paris, 
 
 &
 
 302 NEWTON DOGVANE. . 
 
 in Madrid, in Vienna ; and at twenty I had 
 held my own against the best swordsmen in 
 the world, and since then I had improved ; 
 but I was not de premiere force with the pistol, 
 though tolerably good ; and I felt sure that, 
 though I could kill Heinkerstrom with the 
 sword with ease, yet, if I challenged him, 
 somehow my reputation with the weapon would 
 get wind ; and it was known that I was not 
 equally good with the pistol ; consequently 
 pistols it would be. Either way it was as well 
 to make it a certainty, and a little practice 
 would not be unserviceable ; so for eight 
 months the pistol was hardly ever out of my 
 hand, except at meal-time, and some four or 
 five hours' sleep. I need not say with such 
 perseverance I became tolerably successful ; 
 and when I considered myself good enough I 
 started for Ems. T must tell you, however, 
 that I found out from a Pole, whom I got ac- 
 quainted with by accident, that Heinkerstrom, 
 who was a notorious duellist, usually made the
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 303 
 
 head his mark, when he meant killing — I don't 
 know why ; he was more accustomed to it 
 perhaps. Sometimes, as in the case of my 
 friend, he maimed his opponents in the leg, but 
 that was not often ; he had a knack of get- 
 ting very quickly on his opponent's head, after 
 carefully measuring his height by the eye. I 
 wormed this out of my friend, the Pole, in 
 a little desultory conversation about duelling. 
 He little thought the use I should make of it. 
 He found out afterwards, though ; for that 
 Pole, who liked not Von Heinkerstrom, hap- 
 pened to be at Brussels at the time of the 
 quarrel, and was my second — Stanislaus La- 
 vitzky ; he became a great friend of mine after 
 I slew Heinkerstrom. 1 think he has turned 
 Mahommedan, and is something in the Turkish 
 service — a Pasha or something. Having 
 learnt this, I thought it as well to turn my 
 attention to it ; and, practising opposite the 
 glass pretty constantly, I managed to bring up 
 my hand, wrist, and pistol, so as to cover the
 
 304 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 greater part of my bead. You may have 
 noticed a peculiar way I have at times of hold- 
 ing a pistol. It's difficult to get at my head, 
 you see ; " and Vincent suited the action to 
 the discourse, and certainly there was not 
 much of his head visible. " All this is very 
 cool and blood-thirsty, you will think ; but I 
 was going to fight a very cool and blood- 
 thirsty scoundrel, who had killed my — ah — 
 friend, in part actively, and partly by slow 
 torture, and I did not think it worth while 
 giving a chance away. It was well for me, as 
 it turned out, that I did not. I started for 
 Ems ; he wasn't there ; so I went on to Baden, 
 and thence to Brussels ; there I found him. I 
 soon got introduced to Heinkerstrom. We 
 became acquaintances ; and I watched my 
 opportunity. He was playing ecartS one night 
 with a Captain Stevens." 
 
 "Stevens!" said both our friends in a 
 breath. " What, Stevens of the — th ? " 
 
 "The same," answered Vincent. "Do you
 
 NEWTON DOG V AXE. 305 
 
 know him? lie is in town. I saw him a 
 week since." 
 
 " Oh, very well indeed. There's a — " and 
 Ned was about to say ' an engagement between 
 him and one of my sisters;' but he checked 
 himself, thinking it as well to be silent, and 
 turned it oif with " a scar on his left temple." 
 
 " Exactly. How singular ! Why, we ought 
 to be quite old acquaintances." And he smiled 
 a faint smile. " However, they were playing 
 ecarte, and Stevens was losing, of course. Not 
 much though, for he seldom touched cards or 
 dice as a gambler, though he would for amuse- 
 ment now and then throw a piece on the tables, 
 or enter into some small trial of skill, just to do 
 as others did — though how he ever came to 
 know or sit down with that ruffian, I can't con- 
 ceive. He hadn't the same interest in becoming 
 acquainted with him that I had. But people 
 make acquaintances abroad much more freely 
 and easily than they do here, and Heinker- 
 strom, though of shady reputation, passed for a 
 vol. I. x
 
 306 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 gentleman. The play went on. I was sure 
 Heinkerstrom was cheating, somehow. It 
 wasn't in his nature to play fair. At length I 
 fancied I saw the scoundrel slip a card. No 
 doubt I was right. I stopped the game at 
 once, and distinctly informed the Captain he 
 was being cheated. Everything was confusion 
 and uproar in a moment. Lavitzky was by ; 
 he stood my friend, and he implored me to let 
 him say it was a mistake — that I had been 
 drinking — to retract, and to let the Captain 
 fight his own battle. He was a good fellow, 
 and didn't wish to see me put out of the 
 world. Nothing but a meeting would satisfy 
 either Heinkerstrom or myself. So it was 
 arranged to come oif at Hougoumont the next 
 morning. We chose to go some way from 
 town, so as to be quite secure from any 
 interruption. As early as we could get out 
 of the city the next morning, Lavitzky, a little 
 medico from the Montague de la Cour, whom 
 — the medico, not the montagne — Lavitzky
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 307 
 
 insisted upon bringing for form's sake — not 
 that he was likely to be of much use — Stevens, 
 who begged to be allowed to be of the party, 
 as he was mixed up in the quarrel, and myself, 
 passed through the porte, without interruption, 
 in a Vigilant — my likeness to the man about 
 Court standing me in good stead — and rolled 
 along over the flat, uninteresting country. I 
 forgot to say that, after some little difficulty, 
 the question of weapons resolved itself into 
 pistols, as I had foreseen. I had been out in 
 two or three harmless affairs before — twice 
 with the small-sword, when I scratched and 
 disarmed my antagonist, and once with pistols, 
 when I was touched on the shoulder ; but 
 they were trifling matters, though they served 
 to assure me that my nerve was good. This, 
 however, was a very different affair, and I 
 knew that one or the other would not leave 
 the ground alive, and I hoped it would not 
 be mv fortune to remain. 
 
 " But nlthough I felt perfectly easy as to 
 
 x 2
 
 308 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 the result, I was ' distrait,' and I turned a deaf 
 ear to Lavitzky, who gave ine a world of good 
 advice. As we went along, I was thinking of 
 poor Charley, and did not heed. Lavitzky, not 
 knowing the cause of my absence of mind, 
 redoubled his advice and cautions till we 
 reached the mound. Everybody knows 
 Waterloo and Hougoumont. If they have not 
 seen it, they have read the description of it a 
 hundred times. We had not long to wait. Our 
 opponents soon made their appearance, and 
 the seconds proceeded to arrange matters. 
 
 " ' He has brought a surgeon with him/ I 
 heard one of Heinkerstrom's friends whisper to 
 to him. There were two of them. 
 
 " ' Er sollte einen Leichenbesorger herge- 
 bracht haben' (he should have brought an 
 undertaker), observed Heinkerstrom, a little 
 louder, and with a hoarse laugh. 
 
 " ' One of us may need one/ thought I. 
 
 " All was at length arranged, the ground 
 was measured, and we stood at our appointed
 
 NEWTON 1)00 V AM.. 309 
 
 places. T glanced at Heinkerstrom. There 
 was a small piece of fluff, or feather, or sonic 
 Avhitc substance, which had accidentally stuck 
 on the breast of his closely-buttoned surtout. lie 
 saw my glance, and looking down, with a 
 grim smile, brushed it away. l .JSF 'importe,' 
 thought I, ' it will do.' I never took my eye 
 off the spot, though it may sound strange, 
 not a motion or gesture of his escaped 
 me. Heinkerstrom raised his hand slowly 
 and steadily, looking sternly at me all the 
 while, as if to sweep the hair from his brow, 
 or to arrange the position of his hat. I 
 noticed, however, that his hand paused for the 
 least shade of a second, if pause it could be 
 called, when it reached about the level of his 
 own face — he ivas as nearly as possible of my 
 stature — a stranger would not have remarked 
 the motion, it was so apparently a mere 
 ordinary gesture. 
 
 " ' He's taking your measure, your height, 
 mon ami — the blood-thirsty villain ! ' whis-
 
 ,310 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 pered Lavitzky ; ' I will protest, and alter 
 your positions.' 
 
 " ' Not for the world,' I answered : ' Quick, 
 give us the pistols, and be quiet.' 
 
 " The next moment the pistols were in our 
 hands ; our seconds withdrew a few paces ; 
 the word was given. I heard but one report, 
 and almost feared my own pistol had missed 
 hre, as I felt a slight jar and a sensation as if 
 a hot wire had touched the skin of my 
 arm. Heinkerstrom glared at me for a 
 second, as if with rage and astonishment ; 
 then swayed backwards, with a convulsive 
 motion recovered himself, threw up his arms, 
 and fell like a lump of lead on his face — 
 and Charley was avenged. My pistol had 
 indeed saved me ; an inch one way or the 
 other in its position, and I had been with 
 Heinkerstrom. He had passed away, and the 
 air seemed clearer, the sky bluer than before. 
 
 " ' If you hadn't shot him 1 should have 
 been obliged to,' said Stevens, as we parted.
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 311 
 
 " ' I'm glad I saved you the trouble,' I 
 answered, ' because it is possible lie might 
 have shot you.' " 
 
 "And how did you feel afterwards?' 
 asked Ned. 
 
 "Didn't you feel rather uncomfortable?" 
 quoth Newton. It must be dreadful to kill a 
 man, even in a duel, where the risk is equal." 
 
 " Feel ! " said Vincent, looking from one to 
 the other, " I felt no more compunction than I 
 should in killing a rat. It is dreadful, no 
 doubt, to kill a man, but such a reptile 
 ruffian as that ! I felt that I had freed the 
 Continent of one of the greatest pests that 
 ever disgraced it — a wretch by whose hand at 
 least six harmless victims fell, and more 
 than as many more were maimed for life — a 
 villain who had ruined more innocent youths, 
 a scoundrel who had seduced more women, 
 broken more hearts, and caused more sorrow 
 and disaster, in the course of his gentlemanly 
 career, than any other two or three of his
 
 312 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 class in Europe. It is fortunate for society 
 that he did find some one to put an end to 
 him, or Heaven knows how much more mis- 
 chief he might have done by this time. Pah ! 
 don't let us talk of the dog." Vincent was 
 undeniably a good hater. Indeed, he never 
 did anything by halves. 
 
 Meantime, our friends, with good appetite, 
 had been paying their devours to the lunch, 
 which rapidly grew small by degrees, 
 beautifully less under their attacks. At 
 length the repast came to an end, and 
 Vincent, tossing the now despised ham-bone 
 to Ben, replaced the crockery. 
 
 "I see you are looking at that panther's 
 head," he said, as he huddled the plates, &c, 
 into the cupboard. " Ben, they are talking 
 of your old friend. Painters Ben." 
 
 And Ben raised his head from the ham- 
 bone, and looked up at the panther's visage 
 with a low growl." 
 
 " Ah ! 1 see you remember him."
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 31.3 
 
 Ben gave a half grunt, half growl, which 
 said as plain as dog could say, " I should 
 think I did ! " and fell again to his bone. 
 
 " I slew that gentleman on the banks of the 
 Saskatchewan, which runs into Lake Winni- 
 peg, in North America. By the way, just 
 after my duel with Heinkerstrom, I went 
 there for a little change. It had often struck 
 me that it was possible to carry a canal from 
 Canada to the opposite shore, near Vancouver 
 Island ; and so bring the whole traffic of an 
 almost new colony, as well as the merchandise 
 and trade of China and the East, through 
 Canada, thus opening a communication through 
 a hitherto sealed-up country, and affording 
 immense facilities for colonising and civilising 
 it, by means of an easily-obtained high-road." 
 
 " But is that possible ? " asked Newton, 
 fully alive to the commercial magnitude and 
 advantages of the scheme. 
 
 " Possible ! " said Vincent, pausing for a 
 moment and musing. " It never will be done,
 
 314 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 because Russia will interfere, as she always 
 has done, where her trade is to be competed 
 with, and you will be, as usual, jockeyed into 
 cutting your own throats ;* but it is quite pos- 
 sible to construct a railway from one shore to 
 the other, and at a very small comparative ex- 
 pense, too. Why, the Americans, I believe, 
 are engaged in constructing a railway from 
 Michigan to San Francisco, a distance of two 
 thousand three hundred miles, whilst we have 
 canal communication almost open as far as 
 Lake Superior, and shall soon, if it is not 
 already done, have rail from Quebec to Huron, 
 and might carry one across in a distance ot 
 sixteen hundred." 
 
 " "What a gigantic undertaking ! " said Ned 
 and Newton, both in a breath. 
 
 " Gigantic at the first sight, I grant you," 
 answered Vincent. 
 
 "But the cost would be something tremen- 
 dous," said Ned. 
 
 * Sec Times article of the other day, July, 1858.
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. 315 
 
 " At the rate you constructed the Green- 
 wich and Blackwall railways, which cost, one 
 above three hundred thousand pounds and the 
 other above two hundred thousand pounds per 
 mile, or even the Great Western, we'll say, 
 which cost above fifty thousand pounds ; but 
 railways in Canada may be constructed from 
 three thousand to four thousand pounds per 
 mile. Split the difference, and say three 
 thousand five hundred pounds, and your six- 
 teen hundred miles will cost you five million 
 six hundred thousand pounds — say six million 
 pounds — and it will be somewhere about one- 
 half the cost of the Great Western Railway, 
 without any of its branches. But even this 
 is not necessary. Look here ! " and Vincent 
 dragged out from an old box a well-thumbed 
 map of North America. " Now, see ; from 
 Lake St. Anne, near the north-western shore 
 of Lake Superior, to Fort Garry, on the Ked 
 River settlement, at the south of Lake Win- 
 nipeg, is a distance of four hundred miles, and
 
 316 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 it comprises the most beautiful and fertile 
 country in the world. It is well watered by 
 numerous streams and lakes, while forests of 
 elm, oak, lime, and birch spread in all direc- 
 tions. The ground is carpeted with no end of 
 flowers of all sorts, and fruits which we pro- 
 duce in our gardens — gooseberries, raspberries, 
 plums, and grapes — grow in wild profusion 
 there. As to minerals, there is any amount 
 of them, and plenty of coal to smelt them 
 with. It is a magnificent and splendid terri- 
 tory, and only wants to be known ; for no- 
 thing but prejudice (the Hudson's Bay, or 
 " Stop the way Company") and false reports 
 have hitherto kept it the wilderness it is.* Well, 
 
 * These lines, written in 1852, anticipate the limes' 
 article on the Red River settlement, of July, 1858. 
 The above description is founded on the report of a 
 gentleman who had traversed the entire route. On 
 his report, few, if any, travellers disagree. That the 
 Times' article is, therefore, a tissue of errors, it is 
 unnecessary to state. England will only discover the 
 value of this territory when she has lost it. What
 
 NEWTON DOG VANE. .'U7 
 
 now — look here: a line connecting the two 
 lakes would cost about a million and a-half ; 
 or you might, at a very small cost, carry a 
 canal from Superior to Winnipeg. See, the 
 Lake of the Woods and Rainy Lake, two lakes 
 which are feeders of Winnipeg, and throw out 
 branches to within a very short distance of 
 the shores of Superior. There it is, you see, 
 water almost the whole distance. Now look 
 at Lake Winnipeg, on the eastern side ; it 
 
 other country but England would have so long been 
 possessed of a territory comprising two millions of 
 square miles, without sending dozens of commissioners 
 to report upon its productions and capabilities ! It is a 
 fact that, whenever private enterprise has attempted to 
 develop the mineral and other wealth of these regions, 
 it has always been promptly crushed by the Hudson's 
 Bay Company, and consequently, Englishmen at home 
 know nothing of the boundless wealth lying fallow 
 here. The proposition of the Times, for Canada to 
 undertake the opening up of the empire, is of course, as 
 the Times well knows, an absurdity and an impossi- 
 bility, which Canada must refuse. But it must be 
 noticed that these lands would produce many things 
 we now get from Russia.
 
 318 NEWTON DOGVANE, 
 
 sends two large rivers, the Nelson and the 
 Severn, down to Hudson's Bay. There the 
 communication with the Atlantic is direct and 
 ever open ; while, on the north-western shore, 
 the River Saskatchawan runs to it all the way 
 from the Rocky Mountains, and is navigable 
 for boats almost from its rise to its embouchure 
 — about, let me see, about four hundred miles. 
 See, now, on the western side of the Rocky 
 Mountains, the river Columbia, which runs 
 into the Pacific just below Quadra or Van- 
 couver's Island. Now the Columbia and the 
 Saskatchawan rise within twenty feet of one 
 another — one flows east and the other west — 
 so there, you see, you have a clear communi- 
 cation straight through to Hudson's Bay, and 
 through which the Hudson's Bay mail is even 
 now, or was, carried, with the exception of a 
 short distance, and likewise with Quebec and 
 the Gulf of St. Lawrence, all chalked out for 
 you by nature." 
 
 "Why, it's as plain as A, B, C," said
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 319 
 
 Newton, who sat staring at the maps, and 
 tracing the course of the rivers with a pencil. 
 " We might beat the Yankees by chalks, if we 
 liked, and open up a high road for new 
 colonies all through this territory — the 
 Hudson's Bay territory it now is, but wont 
 be long it is to be hoped." 
 
 "Of course we might," answered Vincent, 
 " though I prefer the railway myself — not so 
 liable to freeze, and is so much shorter ; and 
 as for the cold winters ! There must be some 
 drawback in all new colonies, and a good 
 deal of that has been overstated." 
 
 " But you couldn't carry your railway 
 over the Rocky Mountains," said Ned, reflec- 
 tively. 
 
 " Then how can the Yankees ? But that's 
 all nonsense. The Rocky Mountains are a 
 mere bugbear to the scheme in question ; for 
 they are broken up into ravines and valleys 
 every here and there, and there are plenty of 
 places where you could slip through without
 
 320 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 a great deal of stiff work. Even if there were 
 not these places, you must not think of the 
 Alps when you think of the Rocky Mountains. 
 Their height is not so formidable as you think 
 for ; because, the rise, though great in the aggre- 
 gate, is very gradual till you come to the actual 
 peaks. They form in many places a series 
 of immense plateaux, many hundred miles in 
 extent ; and it would be far easier to break 
 them with a rail than it would the Alps — 
 though a rail through the Alps is not impos- 
 sible. But, never mind, perhaps the Cana- 
 dians will do it themselves one of these days, 
 when they've kicked off the old country, or 
 have passed away from us into other hands, 
 which may not be very many years first. But all 
 this is apart from the painter's head I was to 
 tell you about. You see, after the duel 1 
 wanted a bit of a change, and I was looking 
 over that map to see if there was anything 
 worth doing there, and the idea of the canal 
 business struck me. So I took down the
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 321 
 
 Conventicle — by the by, I'll do the candle 
 trick, according to promise, presently — took 
 down the Conventicle, and had half of the 
 
 precious stones out of the right side of the 
 hilt in a twinkling. The other half took me 
 through South America, botanising for the So- 
 ciety, collecting new plants where there were 
 new ones to collect. It doesn't cost me much 
 when I travel, for I don't mind about faring 
 sumptuously. There's one or two in the left 
 side of the hilt yet, you see," and Vincent 
 took down the weapon and handed it to Ned ; 
 and there certainly had been wild work with 
 the hilt. There were the beds where sundry 
 precious stones abode once ; but the stones 
 themselves, with the exception of two or three, 
 were wanting. " It doesn't matter about the 
 hilt being precious, you know, so that it grips 
 well, and the steel is sound." And taking a 
 candle from the cupboard, Vincent tied a piece 
 of string round one end of it, and suspended 
 it from a hook in the ceiling, talking mcan- 
 
 VOL. I. Y
 
 322 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 while. " Well, I took them to two JeAvs and 
 a Christian successively, and the Christian 
 was the greatest thief of the three, offering 
 me about two-thirds of what the Jews did. I 
 pledged them at last with one of the Jews 
 for seventy pounds, and off I went." 
 
 " Pledged them ! "' said Newton. 
 
 " Yes ; oh yes ; they're all pledged ; and 
 I mean to have them all back again, and 
 re-set, some of these days, whenever I 
 can sit steadily down for a year or two, 
 and make a fortune. No difficulty about 
 making a fortune, you know, if you only 
 give your mind to it, and can stick at it for 
 a couple of years or so. So off I started. 
 One of these days I'll tell you more about it ; 
 but we'll cut all the intermediate out now. 
 One evening I was asleep in the canoe. This 
 was on the Saskatchawan. By the way, we'd 
 had a stiffish day of it, paddling from sunrise 
 till evening, with only a pipe and an hour or 
 so's rest in the extreme heat of the day — and 
 it is hot in the summer, I tell you. We had
 
 MWTON D'OGVANE. :i2.'i 
 
 made a longish stretch of it. George, my 
 companion, a half-bred Blackfoot, whose 
 other name, Kish-Kosh something or other, 
 signified 'The Wriggling Snake,' was 
 spearing fish for supper from a flat rock, some 
 fifty or sixty yards below. I was half 
 leaning, half reclining against one of the low 
 seats of the dug-out, watching his motions. 
 Ben was lying across my legs. Now, when- 
 ever I wasn't doing anything else, particu- 
 larly on the banks of a river, it was a regular 
 custom of mine to have the butt of my re- 
 volver firmly clasped in my hand. Indeed, I 
 usually slept with it so ; for one never knows 
 in those sort of places what may turn up, and it's 
 always as well to be prepared. It was there 
 now. The sun was gradually sinking, mel- 
 lowing everything with its golden hues. The 
 trees waved softly and pleasantly, the cool 
 water gurgled deliciously. George was evi- 
 dently collecting every necessary for a first- 
 rate supper. I was in a confoundedly happy 
 state of mind ; just so tired as to feel a la/.\
 
 324 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 enjoyment in being tired, and in having 
 somebody else to get yon your supper. By 
 degrees things began to grow dim to my 
 eyesight, and I was just dropping off into a 
 delightful nap, when Ben gave the faintest 
 possible indication of a growl. Ben never 
 wastes words, so I was broad awake in a 
 second. Ben was looking with strained eyes 
 and bristling mane to the landing-place, which 
 was a few yards off — five or six, may be. I 
 loosened my right arm, looked hastily at my 
 revolver to see that all was right, put my 
 arm in the most favorable attitude with regard 
 to the landing-place, and waited with breath- 
 less expectation ; but I could hear nothing. 
 It shows, however, the extraordinary acute- 
 ness of an Indian's senses, when I tell you 
 that hardly a second or two had elapsed after 
 Ben's notice, when I saw, at a side-glance, 
 George, who had his spear raised in the very 
 act of poising to strike a fish, suddenly stand 
 with hand, arm, and spear raised as if carved 
 from stone, and with his head partly on one
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 325 
 
 side and turned towards me ; his whole atti- 
 tude gave one the idea of a pointer suddenly 
 come upon game. I lifted up my revolver, 
 and placed my arm in the position I have 
 mentioned, to show him I was prepared ; and, 
 as if satisfied with the motion, he merely 
 looked round to see that his rifle was at hand, 
 if necessary, and loosening his knife in its 
 sheath, he went on spearing his fish, though I 
 could see by the way his head was turned, 
 with one ear and half an eye cocked towards 
 me, that his occupation by no means engrossed 
 all his attention. The landing-place I have 
 mentioned was a low, flat, tabular rock, very 
 similar to the one G-eorge was spearing fish 
 from ; there was a pile of brush and dead- 
 wood on it, which George had collected to 
 form a fire with, partly for culinary purposes, 
 and partly to keep away unpleasant visitors 
 during the night. I heard a slight rustle 
 behind it — it was close to the low underwood 
 — and from behind it advanced a magnificent 
 panther. Whether he was going to drink, or
 
 326 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 to cross the river, which was only a fork, and 
 was narrow here, I can't say ; but the instant 
 he saw the canoe, he paused, and drew a little 
 back. I thought he was going to spring, and 
 Avas about to raise my pistol ; but he merely 
 reconnoitered the position. I had a good 
 view of him, and could have covered his eye 
 from Avhere I sat in a second ; I repressed 
 the motion, however, and watched him. 
 The distance seemed too great, and he 
 backed ; and I thought he was going to 
 back out of it and beat a retreat, which 
 I should have allowed him to do gladly, 
 as it is never worth while discharging fire 
 arms thereabouts, unless you are obliged, to. 
 Ben behaved like a Trojan, as he always 
 does, and he watched my eye, but never 
 moved a muscle, though quite ready to 
 sacrifice his life to save mine, if need be. 
 The brute, however, alter reconnoitering a 
 moment, as I said, drew back ; there was 
 a Large tree close behind him, which threw 
 its branches far out over the river — some of 
 
 s
 
 NEWTON DOGVANE. 327 
 
 them hung over the canoe. With one spring 
 
 he was up the tree and on the lower fork ; 
 his intention was evidently to walk ont on 
 one of the branches, and spring down oil 
 us. Things were getting unpleasant. Like 
 a huge cat after a tomtit, he came crawling 
 along the branch, which bent under his 
 weight, and he was quite near enough to 
 be pleasant when I raised my arm slowly ; lie 
 saw the motion, and lowered his head as 
 if to spring ; but a bullet in his brain, and 
 another between his ribs, as he hung to the 
 branch with his fore-claws in the tenacity of 
 a death struggle, brought him down like a 
 pigeon, and he fell flop upon the further 
 end of the dug-out, and upset it ; man, dog, 
 panther, and all, went floundering, into eight 
 or ten feet of water. The proximity of the 
 beast, which was not yet quite dead, was 
 not pleasant; and I struck out for an old 
 tree some twenty yards down, while George 
 came bounding like a flying squirrel along 
 the bank, rifle in hand. But there was a
 
 328 NEWTON DOGVANE. 
 
 more efficient ally at hand, and Ben had 
 the beast by the throat in a twinkling. He 
 had enough life in him to lay poor Ben's 
 side open, and break three of his ribs with 
 one little pat. It was a last effort, and 
 Ben, who never let go of him, towed him 
 ashore with George's assistance. I got out, 
 shook myself, and lent a hand at the panther. 
 The next day, George fished up the things 
 which had gone to the bottom, whilst I skinned 
 the varmint and cut off his head. Painters, 
 Ben." 
 
 Ben growled. 
 
 " There, that's the way to slice a candle;" 
 and, all being complete, with a drawing cut 
 from the Conventicle, Vincent severed the 
 candle, one half of which dropped on the 
 ground, while the other, apparently very little 
 disturbed by the stroke, hung slightly vibrating 
 on the string. 
 
 I) OF VOL. I. 
 
 R. HDKS. PRINTER QLOUCESTBB STREET, REGENTS PARK.
 
 QREA1 HAE1 BOROl OH ~l REET. 
 
 MESSRS. HURST AND BLACKETT, 
 
 SUCCESSORS TO MR. COLBURN, 
 HAVE JUST PUBLISHED THE FOLLOWING NEW WOBES. 
 
 MEMOIRS OF THE COURT OF GEORGE IV. 
 
 From Original Family Documents. By the Duke of Bi ikim.- 
 
 iiam, K.G. 2 vols., 8vo., with Portraits. 
 " The coin. try is wry much Indebted to the Duke <.f liuckingham for the publica- 
 tion cf these volumes, to our thinking the most valuable of the cortti [buttons to re 
 history which he has yel compiled from bis family papers. Besides the King, the I Hike. 
 of Buckingham's canvass is full of the Leading men of their day— Cast! n agh, Liver- 
 pool, Canning, Wellington, Peel, and their compeers. No reader, whether he sei ks for 
 gossip or for mere si i'il i nt; Information, will he disappoinl ed by the book. Theri 
 several most characteristic letters ui the Duke of Wellington." — John Bull 
 
 SIX YEARS IN RUSSIA. By An English 
 
 Lady. 2 vols., 21s. 
 " The extracts \vc have made will afford some idea of the variety contained in these 
 volumes, and the interesting and amusing nature of their contents. — Attienauiii. 
 
 THE JEWS IN THE EAST. By the Rev. P. 
 
 Beaton, M.A. From the German. 2 vols., 2ls. 
 " Those persons who are curious in matters connected with Jerusalem and its Inha- 
 bitants, are strongly recommended to read this work, which contains more information 
 
 than Is to be found in a dozen of the usual books of travel." — Tunes. 
 
 HENRY III. KING OF FRANCE, HIS COURT 
 
 AND TIMES. From numerous unpublished sources. By MISS 
 FREER, Author of "The Life of Marguerite d'AngoulSme," 
 Elizabeth <le Valois," &c. 3 vols, with line portraits. 31s. 6d. 
 
 EPISODES OF FRENCH HISTORY DURING 
 
 THE CONSULATES; FIRST EMPIRE. By Miss Pardoe. 2 v. 
 
 A SUMMER AND WINTER IN THE TWO 
 
 SICILIES. By Julia Kavanagii. 2 vols. Illustrations, 21s. 
 
 LODGE'S PEERAGE AND BARONETAGE for 
 
 L859, under the Especial Patronage of Heu Majesty ani> U.K. 11. 
 the Prince Consort, and corrected throughout by the Nobility. 
 
 28th Edition, 1 vol., royal Svo., with the arms beautifully engraved, 
 handsomely bound with gilt edges, price 31s. (il. 
 
 WINTER EVENINGS. By Leitcii Ritchie, 
 Author of "Schinbekhankes/'&c. 2 vols., with Illustrations, 21s. 
 
 SIXTEEN YEAR'S OF AN ARTIST'S LIFE 
 
 IN .MOROCCO, SPAIN, AND Till. CANARY ISLANDS. 
 By Mrs. Elizabeth Murray. 2 vols. 8 vo., with coloured Illustra- 
 tions. (Just ready.) 
 
 HURST AND BLACKETTS STANDARD LIB- 
 RARY OF ('HEAP EDITIONS OK POPULAR MODERN 
 
 WORKS. Each comprised in a Eingle Volume, elegantly printed, 
 hound, and illustrated, price 5s. A volume to appear every 
 two months. Vol. I. contains "NATURE AND lll'MAN 
 NATURE," by the Author of "Sam Slick," Illustrated by 
 Leech. Vol.11., "JOHN HALIFAX GENTLEMAN." Vol. 
 III.. "THE CRESCENT AND THE Cltoss," by Eliot 
 Warburtok. Vol. IV., ' NATHALIE," by Julm Kavanagh,
 
 NEW AND POPULAR NOVELS. 
 
 WOODLEIGH. By the Author of " Wildflower," 
 
 " One and Twenty," &c. 3 vols. 
 "This book has sterling merit: it is likely to sustain and extend an already high 
 reputation." — Press 
 
 A GOOD TIME COMING. By the Author of 
 
 " Mathew Paxton." 3 vols. 
 " A novel that possesses very great merit. The story is honest and healthy." — Press. 
 
 LIFE'S FORESHADOWINGS. By W. G.Wills, 
 
 Esq. 3 vols. 
 "A tale which has numerous beauties, and is pervaded throughout by an intimate 
 knowledge of the human heart." — Dublin University Magazine. 
 
 CREEDS. By the Author of "Morals of May 
 
 Fair," 3 vols. 
 
 " ' Creeds ' is more powerful in the interest of its story than : The Morals of May- 
 Fair,' and at least equal to it in spirit and form." — Examiner. 
 
 "The good writing in this work, its life-like sketches and well-seasoned satire, will 
 secure it many readers." — Globe. 
 
 THE MASTER OF THE HOUNDS. By " Scru- 
 tator." Dedicated to the Earl of Stamford. 3 v., with illus- 
 trations bv Weir. 
 " A most amusing and clever book. It will be read with pleasure by all classes, and 
 
 will be as welcome in the boudoirs of Belgravia and Mayfair as in the club-rooms of 
 
 Melton.— Spurting Review. 
 
 RIGHT OR WRONG. By Miss Jewsbury. 2 v. 
 
 "This story is very interesting and fresh. Once taken up. it will not be laid down." 
 — Athenaeum. 
 
 OCEOLA. By Captain Mayne Reid. 3 vols. 
 
 with Illustrations by Weir. 
 " Captain Reid is a sort of 'Walter Scott of the West ' Oceola ' is full of soul-stirring 
 interest." — Literary Gazette. 
 
 EVERY DAY. By Mrs. Foster Lang ton. 3 v. 
 
 "A novel which will charm many readers." — Observer. 
 
 THE LAIRD OF NORLAW. A Scottish Story. 
 
 By the Author of "Margaret Maitland," eic. 3 v. 
 
 "We doubt whether ' Margaret Maltland,' or ' LilUesleaf,' or 'The Days of My Life,' 
 possess In themseri es the elements of a more lasting reputation than this absorbing 
 talc of the ' i aird ofNorlaw.'" — Chronicle. 
 
 THE THREE PATHS. By Herbert Grey, M.A. 
 
 "The main object of Mr. Grey will be popular with the ladies it Is to Bhow that 
 well-assorted matrimony Is better than wild living or glumpy bachelorhood. The 
 book Indicates thought, ability, and Bpirit." Spectator. 
 
 ONWARDS. By the Author of " Anne Dysart." 3 v. 
 
 " A really delightful book." — Globe. 
 
 STEPHAN LANGTON. By Martin F. Tupper, 
 D.C.L., F.K.S., Author of " Peovbrbial Philosophy," &c, 2 v. 
 "An ml- Irable historical romance, by a very clever writer, n Is a life-like, vivid 
 and absorbing narrative." — Poet 
 
 HURST AND BLA.CKETT, PI BLISHERSL SI CCESSORS TO HKNKV COLBURN 
 18, GREAT MARLBORO! (.11 STR] I i
 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below 
 
 INTERLIBP.ARY L0/JJ3 
 
 11 ■ 
 
 MAR 1 2 1967 
 
 Form L-9-15m-7,'32
 
 UCSOUT> 
 
 "■HniHWilllillllllHlllilllllllllililllli,, 
 
 AA 000 373 834 
 
 OlOVBRSIT^ of CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 LIKRARY
 
 r