Prese 
 
 Date 
 
 No. 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 California State Library 
 
 ry, paesid 
 
 SECTIO sr of all 
 
 books issi rs of the 
 
 Legislatu session. 
 
 If any pe 
 
 he shall forfeit and pay to the Librarian, for the benefit of the Library, 
 three times the value thereof; and before the Controller shall issue his 
 warrant in favor of any member or officer of the Legislature, or of this 
 State, for his per diem, allowance, or salary, he shall be satisfied that 
 such member or officer has returned all books taken out of the Library by 
 him, and has settled all accounts for injuring such books or otherwise. 
 
 Sec. 15. Books may be taken from the Library by the members of the 
 Legislature and its officers during the session of the same, and at any 
 time by the Governor and the officers of the Executive Department of 
 this State who are required to keep their offices at the seat of government, 
 the Justices of the Supreme Court, the Attorney-General and the Trustees 
 of the Library.
 
 THE 
 
 SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD 
 
 GREATEST PLAGUE OF LIFE 
 
 MR. AND MRS. HONEYDEW 
 
 LEARNED OF 
 
 HOUSEKEEPING 
 
 BY CHARLES CHAMBERLAIN, JR. 
 
 NEW YORK 
 J. S. REDFIELD, PUBLISHER 
 
 140 FULTON STREET 
 
 1873.
 
 Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1872, by 
 
 J. S. REDFIELD, 
 In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. 
 
 EDWARD. 0. JENKINS, 
 
 PRINTER AND STEREOTYPER, 
 
 NO. 20 N. WILLIAM ST., N. Y.
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 A PROMINENT journalist once, in giving 
 directions to a non-plussed reporter, briefly 
 said, " Find one fact or two draw on your 
 imagination for the rest, and make a good 
 story." 
 
 The reporter did so and the account was 
 a success, in a journalistic point of view. 
 
 It is not pretended that the imagination 
 has not been called upon for a part of the 
 present volume ; but that Mr. and Mrs. 
 Honeydew, and dear Mamma, and the "la 
 dies of the employment bureau," as a friend 
 once heard the " help " of America styled by 
 
 one of the " fraternity," are, to a certain ex- 
 
 (3) 
 
 332686
 
 4 PREFACE. 
 
 tent, real characters, is a word of truthful 
 information. 
 
 To some, there may be a similarity of 
 circumstance with personal experiences ; to 
 others, there may be exhibited a picture of 
 what some one has suffered. 
 
 Such as it is, the work is sent forth, 
 clothed in such garments as seemed most 
 becoming to its unpretending personality. 
 
 C. C. jr. 
 
 NEW YORK, November, 1872.
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 " If I had servants true about me, that bear eyes 
 To see alike mine honor as their profits 
 Their own particular thrifts they would do that 
 Which should undo more doing." 
 
 Winters Tale, i. a. 
 
 GOOD old Sam Johnson, who is more worth 
 ily correct in some of his definitions than 
 either of the more pretending lexicographers, 
 who comes closer to Shakespeare in his plain, 
 undressed and fitting similes, gives, in the first 
 edition of his dictionary, a few definitions 
 such as in 1755, printed in the craziest of 
 crazy antique lettering, he gave to the think 
 ing, writing, speaking world, from which to 
 frame their plainest Anglo-Saxon. 
 
 Dr. Johnson was not " up " in the modern 
 improvements in accessories to the servants. 
 No such word as laundress appears in any of 
 the earlier editions of his work it is so near- 
 
 (5)
 
 6 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 ly a modern invention that we must go to 
 Webster for it; who defines the " institution " 
 thus: 
 
 . LAUNDRESS. A washerwoman ; a woman whose employ 
 ment is to wash clothes. 
 
 But good Dr. Johnson does find other 
 words, and he defines them, in that same old 
 book, as follows : 
 
 COOK. One whose profession is to dress and prepare 
 victuals for the table. 
 
 WAITING MAID, ) 
 
 f An upper servant, who attends 
 WAITING WOMAN, V 
 
 \ on a lady in her chamber. 
 WAITING GENTLEWOMAN, ; 
 
 NURSE. A woman that has the care of another's child ; a 
 woman that has care of a sick person ; one who breeds, 
 educates or protects ; an old woman in contempt. , 
 
 If the definition of good old Dr. Johnson 
 were exemplified in the character of the Ser 
 vant-Girl of the Period, there would be grand 
 reasons for congratulations ; but the distinct 
 classes into which servants are divided are 
 so peculiar in their individuality that it is 
 impossible to draw a comparison. 
 
 They do not fraternize with each other. 
 The Irish does not like the German, and the
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 7 
 
 Ethiopian element does not stand in any di 
 rect relationship with either of the others. 
 The latter class may be left out of the calcula 
 tion in the consideration of the help upon 
 which the housekeepers of America are de 
 pendent. 
 
 The Cook of the Period is the most im 
 portant of all the servants. When the wants 
 of the inner man and the inner woman are to 
 be ministered to, and when the plain duty is 
 to " prepare victuals for the table," and nothing- 
 more, it becomes a necessity that the persons 
 employed should be cooks by knowledge, and 
 not by accident or prospective instruction, 
 which they expect from the " misthress " 
 and which, unfortunately, the mistress is too 
 often unable to give them. 
 
 The tide of immigration brings to this 
 country a class of people who hope to find in 
 America a solace for the woes of their own 
 land, and they bear with them the seeds of a 
 presumptive arrogance which ripens as soon 
 as exposed to the atmospheric influences of 
 the new social climate into which they 
 come.
 
 8 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 The Irish girl who, when asked why she 
 came here, answered very quietly, and with 
 the genuine national wit, which does not seem 
 to be conscious of its own existence, " It was n't 
 for want, that I came here, sur shure I had 
 enough of that at home!" told the truth. 
 They do not come here " for want " they 
 come to rule or ruin, in the households of the 
 American ladies ; and they generally manage 
 to ruin. 
 
 Plenty of food, however coarse, is what 
 they desire ; clothing is an outside matter, in 
 more ways than in the wearing of it; and that 
 the bed upon which they lie may be feathers 
 instead of straw, is what they desire, in the 
 way of comfort. They are used to few of the 
 luxuries of life when at nome, and they 
 should not, therefore, be expected to know 
 how to prepare them for others. Their preten 
 sion to the knowledge of cooking is a fault for 
 which they are not responsible, and it is a 
 serious reason for deprecation that, in the 
 education of American women, the household 
 duties are too often neglected. 
 
 The " Intelligence Office " an institution
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 9 
 
 which has grown out of the necessity for 
 servants, is like a double-edged knife it cuts 
 both ways takes a fee from' the servant who 
 wants a place, and takes another from the mis 
 tress who desires the servant ; and the same 
 girl, after having hired out for a week, often 
 obtains a week's wages after working a couple 
 of days, and, being, found inefficient, goes 
 back again, seeking another situation from 
 the same office, till her countenance becomes 
 as familiar to the habitue's of the establishment, 
 not as a " household word," but as a house 
 hold nuisance. She becomes more arrogant in 
 her manner from the little knowledge of cook 
 ing which she may have obtained from her 
 semi-occasional service, is not thankful for the 
 beds in which she has been permitted to sleep, 
 and contrives to pick up sufficient informa 
 tion to know how to broil a steak, or put 
 together the simple ingredients for a rice 
 pudding, and then starts out as a " cook." 
 
 And so it is with all the rest ; the " help " 
 of the present day are living libels upon good 
 old Dr. Johnson, and belie his just definitions 
 in every act of their daily existence, not to
 
 I0 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 say their daily service, for which they are 
 paid the most exorbitant wages. 
 
 A good friertd of [the author, who pulls 
 with him in the harness during the hours 
 of Editorial life, and who is himself a " house 
 keeper," tells his experience in his pleasant 
 home. "Paul Peebles" is a good fellow- 
 years of hard work in journalism have taught 
 him to tell the truth he does so, trippingly, 
 and the liberty is taken of giving his pleasant 
 letter, just as he sends it : 
 
 MY DEAR C : O ver " the walnuts and 
 
 the wine," the other night, you were good 
 enough to confide to me your purpose of 
 portraying the woes of American house 
 keepers. 
 
 Do you know that you have undertaken a 
 stupendous task ? 
 
 To tell the story of all the woes that go to 
 the making-up of our domestic life, would be 
 to rip off roofs with all the zeal and four times 
 the rapidity with which Asmodeus ever per 
 formed that " daring act." I have n't the 
 slightest doubt that you are equal to the
 
 INTRODUCTORY. II 
 
 emergency for, upon my life, I can't re 
 member that you were ever fairly bowled 
 over in any effort you saw fit to make but 
 (mark my words !) you will find this subject 
 grow upon your hands until it reaches gigan 
 tic proportions. There is positively no end 
 to it. I do not clearly see how there ever can 
 be an end unless, indeed, the ingenious 
 device set afloat by Punch many years ago 
 should be reduced to an actual fact by some 
 inspired Yankee, skillful in the manipulation 
 of automatic machinery. 
 
 Ah ! my dear old fellow ! if we could only 
 wind ourselves up in the morning and run 
 down at nightfall wind up the house, the 
 furnace, the cooking-range, the bed, the 
 parlor, the nursery, children and all set 
 them to clicking for a certain number of hours 
 per diem, and stop the pendulum when we 
 pleased would there be any need then of a 
 more complete Millennium ? I trow not. 
 
 But you can 't wind up a serving-maid. 
 She would not " stay " wound, even if it were 
 possible to wind her around your finger. No ! 
 it cannot be done ! We housekeepers are all
 
 12 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 slaves as much so as Wamba or Gurth 
 were when they wore the collar of Saxon 
 Cedric. 
 
 What then ? 
 
 Nothing ! 
 
 But you have asked me to tell you the story 
 of my experience, or a part of it. Suppose I 
 retort, like the Needy Knife-grinder " Story ! 
 God bless you, I have none to tell ! " Yet, in 
 my case, such retort would not be apt nor 
 true ; for was there ever yet forlorn and 
 vexed householder who had not a story which 
 he could tell concerning that 
 
 " wrong and outrage with which the earth is filled," 
 
 wherever and whenever The Servant is in 
 question ? 
 
 Comfortably ensconced in my easy-chair, 
 therefore, this inclement November night, 
 with slippered feet before a rousing fire, and 
 a choice selection from that box of Partagas, 
 which you gave me, between my lips, I keep 
 my promise, and try to meet your require 
 ment. 
 
 Let me see ; it was, I think, some five years
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 13 
 
 ago that Mrs. Peebles and I took our first les 
 sons in housekeeping and the science of do 
 mestic economy. Our first servants were 
 Irish ; our next, Ethiopians ; the third set, 
 Low (very low) Dutch ; the fourth, High (un 
 commonly high) German ; our fifth, Swedes ; 
 our sixth, John Chinaman and then we ran 
 the gamut backwards. 
 
 " A comprehensive scale, this !" you will 
 say. So it is. But I shall spare you all de 
 tails, except those of the most harrowing and 
 heart-rending description. My eyes begin to 
 fill, already, at the remembrance of past woes. 
 Will your lachrymal ducts distill tears in 
 sympathy with mine ? 
 
 To begin at the beginning : 
 
 Number one was an Irish person. She 
 came to us highly recommended. As with 
 dog Tray, so with her ; she was gentle, she 
 was kind, and her like you 'd never, never 
 find ; at least, that was the meaning of the 
 commendatory epistle with the perusal of 
 which she favored Mrs. P. We tried her, 
 and she tried us ; and presently there was 
 an end of all experiments with the femi-
 
 14 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 nine portion of that excitable race. If you 
 will permit me, I'll drop the veil over all the 
 Bridgets, and go on to recall the memories 
 of worse experiences than the Irish maidens 
 ever gave us. 
 
 Our second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth 
 ventures having all resulted in one single dis 
 covery namely, that the biggest Intelligence 
 Offices had been absurdly misnamed (their 
 products not possessing the slightest atom of 
 intelligence,) I advertised for a German wo 
 man, and immediately received visits from 
 fifty vigorous, strong - armed females, the 
 greater number of whom spoke broken Eng 
 lish. I picked out one who appeared to 
 promise a good deal that is to say, as nearly 
 as I could understand that she promised any 
 thing. Her speech ran somewhat in this 
 way during the three days of her tarry with 
 us: 
 
 " Haf you got no oder bots dan dese ? 
 Ich kann nicht my dinner cook mit such bots ! 
 Der last place I vos in, die laty paught me 
 all der bots I vanted." 
 
 Mrs. Peebles did not clearly understand
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 15 
 
 what it was that Gretchen desired, but when, 
 with the aid of Adler's " Lexikon," I suc 
 ceeded in enlightening her, she instantly cried 
 out against what she was pleased to term 
 " the abominable impudence " of our maid 
 servant. 
 
 " Why," said Mrs. P., " what does she 
 mean ?" 
 
 " I really don't know, my dear !" I replied. 
 
 " Why, Paul, our iron pots were all bought 
 new last spring, and it can't be possible they 
 are all worn out !" 
 
 " Can't say, Mrs. P. Perhaps the young 
 ladies whom you have been in the habit of 
 entertaining below stairs have worn them out. 
 Better go and see." 
 
 Mrs. Peebles took the hint, explored the 
 kitchen closets, dived into the cellar, and 
 found her nice new iron pots stowed away in 
 the potato-bin each with a big hole in the 
 bottom. 
 
 I immediately went out and bought a new 
 supply. 
 
 But this concession did not satisfy our 
 German maiden. She had boundless aspira-
 
 1 6 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 lions. She was a person with " views." She 
 was troubled by literary tendencies. The 
 pictorial publications selected by me at the 
 news-stands for the edification of my " part 
 ner," began to disappear, and were subse 
 quently recovered from among the pots and 
 pans and skillets. Fragments of German 
 newspapers began to lie about the house ; let 
 ters in German hieroglyphics were handed 
 in by the postman at brief intervals, and they 
 were answered only after my library desk 
 had been despoiled of paper, pens, ink and 
 envelopes. Greasy smutches began to be 
 unpleasantly manifest at the edges of my 
 book-shelves. And it was not long before a 
 lovely little edition of Zschokke, which I had 
 brought home from Munich (to look at, for I 
 could n't read it), vanished so utterly, that to 
 this day I have not set eyes upon it. 
 
 I sent that girl away. 
 
 She was succeeded by a fellow - country 
 woman, who spoke no word of English under 
 any circumstances whatever. She also de 
 parted, after a brief and eminently unsatisfac 
 tory trial.
 
 INTRODUCTORY. I/ 
 
 This sort of thing was not pleasant, of 
 course. But what could we do ? 
 
 I forgot to mention that when we gave up 
 experimenting with the Irish maidens, and 
 fell back, so to speak, upon the steadier Ger 
 mans, I found that their places miscalled Intel 
 ligence Offices always involved me in the pay 
 ment of a fee exactly double, that charged at 
 the head-quarters of the Irish. So, when our 
 second German venture came to naught, I 
 disbursed another two-dollar bill, carried the 
 amount to profit and loss, besought the 
 man in charge of the " Bureau " (that's what 
 an Intelligence Office is called in German) to 
 send us a capable woman ; and then waited. 
 
 We waited for three days before one came. 
 During this interval I got up very early in 
 the morning, went down on my knees before 
 the kitchen range to make a fire, succeeded 
 in raising a vast volume of smoke, found I 
 could n't make the fire burn, got myself laugh 
 ed at by my wife, who said she could beat me 
 making fires, and became rapidly transformed 
 into a drawer of water and a carrier of coals. 
 Snubbed, but calm, I delegated all the hard
 
 1 8 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 work of the household during those three 
 days to Mrs: Peebles, who proved herself 
 equal to the emergency, as she always does ; 
 and I think, on reviewing the situation after 
 the lapse of a year, that my respect for that 
 lady's qualities then and there became fixed. 
 
 But relief came at last. That is to say, we 
 thought it was a. relief. But it was n't. 
 
 The new-comer looked like a lady. She 
 was tidy, neatly dressed, composed in manner, 
 civil in speech, and her English was not bad. 
 
 The third day, she refused to go down- 
 cellar to break up some kindling-wood for my 
 wife. My wife went to break it up for herself. 
 I came home just in the nick of time to call up 
 my wife out of the damp cellar, which was 
 a place not at all suited to her bronchitis, and 
 to hear her story of the servant's refusal to 
 do her bidding. 
 
 I was mad I confess it. It was but the 
 righteous wrath of an injured man, whose 
 wife had been compelled to do the menial 
 office for which her servant was paid at the 
 rate of fourteen dollars monthly. Being mad, 
 I became peremptory, not to say, sharp. I
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 19 
 
 went into the kitchen, taxed our servant with 
 her misconduct, and directed her to go at 
 once to the cellar and carry wood and coals 
 up to my wife's room. 
 
 She refused, point-blank. 
 
 I continued mad. 
 
 "Do you refuse to obey my order?" I in 
 quired. 
 
 " Yes, I do. I won't break up kindlings, 
 and I won't carry coal up-stairs." 
 
 " Very well then leave the house." 
 
 "I won't." 
 
 This was a nice condition of things. But 
 discipline above all else. I gave the girl ten 
 minutes to get out of the door. 
 
 Instead of getting out, she went off into a 
 violent fit of hysterics, tumbling down on the 
 floor all in a heap, and shrieking dismally 
 greatly to the discomfiture of Mrs. Peebles. 
 
 " My dear," said I, addressing that estima 
 ble lady, " will you be so good as to bring me 
 a wash-bowl full of water? This girl seems 
 to require an application to her head." 
 
 My wife brought the bowl of water. 
 
 I poised it.
 
 2O INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 Maiden on the floor glanced venomously at 
 me out of the corner of her eye rose with 
 extreme rapidity opened upon me with a 
 torrent of abuse and left the premises within 
 five minutes. Ever since that time I 've kept 
 a large bowl of water handy. It was a grand 
 discovery. There are some creatures that 
 don't like water. 
 
 But, bless me ! my dear fellow, if I were to 
 to go on unfolding to you the long catalogue 
 of similar accidents that the serving-maids 
 bring upon " virtuous Americans," I should 
 have to ask for the whole space in your book 
 and you want the most of that for yourself. 
 Let me pass on to my Swedish experience. 
 
 It was a queer occurrence, but it was true, 
 that the first Swede we tried was the counter 
 part of Christine Nilsson. My wife was just 
 the least bit in the world dubious about en 
 gaging her, having heard of cases of suscepti 
 ble husbands. But I convinced her that I 
 was adamant and so I am. Don't laugh, 
 you cynic ! 
 
 The Swede proved to be a simple, quiet 
 creature, whose "given" name was utterly
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 21 
 
 unpronounceable by any but Scandinavian 
 tongues, but who gave us an English name 
 by which to call her, and I think my dear 
 wife got on better with her than with any of 
 her predecessors. At least, I heard fewer 
 complaints, and when Mrs. P. came into my 
 library evening after evening looking cheer 
 ful, I concluded that some of the domestic 
 storms had finally been calmed. I still rest 
 under that delusion. I hope that it will not 
 be dispelled by subsequent developments. I 
 ask no questions, and I am not troubled. 
 
 Who was the man who uttered this 
 
 aphorism ? " After all, it is the best wisdom 
 to treat with absolute indifference or con 
 tempt a great deal that happens in this world 
 of misunderstandings." He could not have 
 been a housekeeper or he must have been 
 profoundly wise, patient, charitable, even 
 magnanimous. I know a dozen families whose 
 existence is a daily torture because they can 
 not regard either with indifference or con 
 tempt the little nuisances that hive them 
 selves within the four walls of the dwelling- 
 house. " Misunderstandings " quotha ! Is it a
 
 22 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 misunderstanding when your paid servant 
 gives you daily insult? Is it misunderstand 
 ing when she uses your choicest china, instead 
 of the stone- ware, to entertain her " company " 
 in the kitchen? Certainly not. But there 
 is a decided misunderstanding when you re 
 quire her to pay for the costly French-china 
 platter which she has carelessly shivered into 
 fragments ; and a great row instead of a mis 
 understanding, when you forbid the visits of 
 her lovers, who are invariably her " cousins." 
 In point of fact, with very few exceptions, 
 the housekeeper's lot in this country is a hard 
 one. It is a continual struggle literally " one 
 down, and t' other come on ! " No sooner are 
 you rid of one nuisance than another appears, 
 and so, I suppose, it will continue until our 
 American idea of equality is amended by the 
 English method. Abroad, you can get civil 
 service ; here, you pay three times the price 
 demanded by English, French or German 
 cooks or waiters in their own countries, and 
 
 get what ? Impertinence, dishonesty, and 
 
 the privilege of doing your own work your 
 self in the interregnum between successive
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 23 
 
 dynasties. That is what you get ,by being a 
 
 " man of family " in this Great Republic 
 
 and quite as large a share of it as he desires 
 has already been visited upon 
 Your crony, 
 
 PAUL PEEBLES. 
 
 My friend Peebles tells his experience truth 
 fully ; and he sends just a few lines more 
 perhaps intended as a postscript to his 
 letter in which he gives the benefit of his 
 researches into the character and characteris 
 tics of the Scandinavian element of servant- 
 girlism, as follows : 
 
 MY DEAR C : Thinking over the let 
 ter I sent you last week, it has occurred to 
 me that there is one phase of the Servant 
 question to which I have made no reference. 
 
 Do you know that the Scandinavian ele 
 ment just now increasing largely in this 
 country is remarkable for one mental pecu 
 liarity ? 
 
 The Swede, the Norwegian, and the Dane 
 speedily become homesick.
 
 24 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 My wife has just told me of a curious reve 
 lation once made to her by a serious young 
 Swede, to the effect that when she could n't 
 get her money from her employer, she went 
 out and threw herself under a tree, and nearly 
 cried her eyes out. It was a foolish act, per 
 haps, but natural. When a person is four 
 thousand miles away from home, and can 't 
 get his or her money for service faithfully 
 performed, it is enough to make anybody cry 
 or swear. I never swear myself, consider 
 ing profanity an immoral practice. But I 
 think I should cry. 
 
 The weeping Swede who reposed this con 
 fidence in Mrs. P. went on to tell the story of 
 her life in and out of Sweden. The upshot of 
 it was, that all the Swedes hate to leave their 
 stony and sterile homes, and only come here 
 because they can make money more rapidly 
 among us. But they never settle down into 
 a comfortable life until they get all their 
 family and friends around them. Then they 
 cheer up, and are pleasant, sunny folk. The 
 greater number of them, being Lutherans, 
 find their highest enjoyment in going to the
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 2$ 
 
 churches in which the services are conducted 
 in their own tongue not particularly for love 
 of Gospel truth, but chiefly because it is the 
 Scandinavian habit to gossip " after meeting." 
 Give the Swede his family, his church, and 
 his dish of gossip, and he will be happy as a 
 bee among the flowers. Deprive him of one 
 of these and he goes about your house with 
 the air of a dismal Jemmy. 
 
 Conceding, therefore, that the Swedes are 
 multiplying among us the Census says so, 
 and therefore it must be true let the fact be 
 known that if we desire to encourage the 
 immigration of a thrifty and excellent people, 
 we must either help them to bring over all 
 their friends, or be prepared to witness end 
 less cataracts of tears. 
 
 The subject becomes mournful; let us drop 
 it. Your PEEBLES. 
 
 So much for my friend Paul. He leaves 
 the subject of the Servant-Girl of the Period 
 at once to the author, and gives a send-off in 
 his letters which points a moral and adorns 
 this particular story, at its very beginning, 
 2
 
 26 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 with the lessons to be drawn from his expe 
 rience. 
 
 The question of just what we should expect 
 our servants to do, is one which not even the 
 best of housekeepers could be supposed to 
 solve ; what we should have a right to expect 
 of them is quite a different matter. Whether it 
 be in the City, where changes of servants may 
 be kaleidoscopic, and the opportunities are of 
 fered by the hundred, or whether it be at the 
 seaside, in a pretty cottage such as Mr. and 
 Mrs. Harry Honeydew found at Long Branch, 
 the annoyances to which the housekeepers 
 are subjected are too great in number either to 
 be classified or enumerated. The men and 
 women of America are the victims of the ca 
 price or the ignorance of those whom they 
 employ to do their household work, and the 
 experiences of the Honeydews may not be 
 an exaggeration, when a parallel is fairly 
 drawn with the records of other households. 
 
 That there are faults in household manage 
 ment is far too easy of discernment to admit 
 of a contradiction ; the errors are the errors 
 of the present time, and the contrast between
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 2/ 
 
 the honest life-love weddings of years past, 
 and the tinsel-weddings of the present day 
 shows the partial reason for the trouble which 
 exists. 
 
 Time was, when people settled down in life, 
 to fight its battles and to enjoy its pleasures, 
 with a just estimate of its responsibilities, and 
 with a quiet determination to be to each other 
 what the solemnization of the marriage con 
 tract intended, and to erect for themselves at 
 least one angel of the household, in the person 
 of the wife, who should be all that God means 
 the woman to be, when she places her love 
 and her destiny in a husband's hands. There 
 were generous-hearted, noble women in those 
 days, as our good mothers show us, and as 
 the lines of family portraits, with their unique 
 costumes, tell us from the picture-cords. And 
 there are just as good and generous-hearted 
 women now, and there are many good wives 
 of the present days of extravagance in life, 
 who keep the white ribbons of their wedding 
 cards untainted by falsehood, and the flowers 
 of their wedding bouquets fresh in their matri 
 monial responsibilities and life.
 
 28 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 There is opportunity for the new-made wives 
 to study the example of their good old grand 
 mothers, and while the possession of the 
 world's goods in abundance gives them every 
 scope for enjoyment, and no fear of privation, 
 they may weave a protecting web of honest 
 livery about their new lives, by allowing the 
 tinsel of their wedding days to wear off, re 
 fusing to carry its flimsy characteristics into 
 their home life and habits, where they may be 
 better fitted for the duties and responsibilities 
 of their positions, and avoid one of the 
 greatest plagues of life, in the inefficiency 
 of servants, by learning the lesson of what 
 they would be compelled and should know 
 how to do, were there no servants to send 
 distress into their households.
 
 THE 
 
 SERVANT-GIRL or THE PERIOD. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 MRS. HONEYDEW MAKES A DISCOVERY. 
 "DEAR?" 
 
 "Well, darling?" 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew were inclined to 
 be affectionate, one morning and Mr. and 
 Mrs. Honeydew had a right to be affection 
 ate, if they chose. 
 
 'T was Sunday morning and the lady and 
 gentleman alluded to were comfortably happy 
 comfortably happy because they did not 
 want for anything, especially and happy, in 
 the abstract, because they loved each other. 
 
 Sunday morning, then, and at a New York 
 hotel ; time, eleven o'clock, just after break 
 fast ; Mrs. Honeydew in the daintiest of dainty
 
 30 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 slippers, and the nattiest of pretty morning- 
 gowns ; Mr. Honeydew with a velvet smok 
 ing jacket, prettily trimmed, with very use 
 less pockets in either side, the whole garment 
 the handiwork of Mrs. Honeydew, done at 
 odd times, all in secret, and a birthday pres 
 ent for her " darling husband " a pair of slip 
 pers, worked in golden beads and monogram 
 on a groundwork of velvet a good cigar, in 
 a well-colored meerschaum holder the slip 
 pered feet upon a footstool, the jacket (with a 
 well-formed pair of shoulders inside, of course) 
 resting upon the back of a well-stuffed chair ; 
 and the Sunday papers, either for political, 
 social, or romantic reading. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew had gone through 
 the chrysalis changes of a fashionable wedding 
 lots of cards lots of presents all the day 
 light shut out and all the gas-light shut in at 
 their afternoon reception. After the ceremony, 
 a trip by way of Albany, Rochester, Buffalo, 
 Niagara, the Lake, St. Lawrence River, Lake 
 Champlain, Lake George, and the Hudson 
 River to wind up with, at a cost to Mr. 
 Honeydew of dollars; and they had
 
 MRS. HONEYDEW IS TIRED. 31 
 
 been three months in their comfortable hotel- 
 quarters at the cost of dollars per day 
 
 for rooms and board, and the cost of 
 
 dollars for " extras." 
 
 The indefinite question by Mrs. H., and the 
 reply of Mr. H., in the monologues which we 
 have used for the opening of our initial chapter 
 were apt, and expressive and so, Mr. Honey- 
 dew turned his not unhandsome face towards 
 his brown-eyed wife, and waited for the con 
 tinuation of her idea that is, if she had one 
 and he did the lady the justice to suppose 
 that she had. 
 
 " I 'in tired, dear," was all the answer. 
 
 " Tired, darling ? Tired of what ?" 
 
 "This hotel life I want to go to house 
 keeping." 
 
 Mr. Honeydew turned more than his face, 
 this time, towards his pretty baby-wife. The 
 slippered feet came down from the ottoman, 
 and he turned squarely around. 
 
 He couldn't well imagine why she was 
 tired; he wasn't. He had been thoroughly 
 well satisfied. The ice-water had been placed 
 at his door by the attentive and well-feed wait-
 
 32 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 er at eight o'clock the newspapers had been 
 thrown over the transom, and had fallen be 
 side his bed but the early morning compan 
 ionship of Mrs. H., with her pure white face 
 beside him, and her wealth of brown hair 
 lying in contrast upon the pillow, had proven 
 a greater attraction than the morning news. 
 He had taken a second nap had kissed her a 
 most affectionate of Sabbath-morning greet 
 ings had leisurely dressed himself had taken 
 a long time to shave had arranged his well- 
 cut moustache to look at its best advantage 
 had taken a good breakfast and was, as we 
 have said, comfortable. 
 
 Mrs. Honeydew looked marvelously pretty. 
 She had thrown herself down upon the lounge, 
 in extenso she was a full-length picture of a 
 lady who had just discovered a newly impend 
 ing development of her married life, and had 
 arranged her general appearance to make the 
 avowal to her husband, just as it should be 
 made; for a woman, to be effective in an. ap 
 peal or in a censure, should be pretty and 
 Mrs. Honeydew was even more than passably 
 good looking.
 
 MRS. HOXEYDEW TAKES ADVICE. 33 
 
 She met the glance of Mr. Honeydew with 
 a smile which had more anxiety in it than she 
 was probably aware. 
 
 They had lived through their love life, so far, 
 in complete accord with each other. Mr. Hon 
 eydew had done all that he could do, or could 
 be expected to do, to make happy the life 
 of the little lady with the brown hair, whom 
 he had taken to his heart as "a household an 
 gel ; but the angel had lately taken occasion 
 to profit by the visits of " dear Mamma," to 
 obtain what "dear Mamma" maintained to 
 be good sound advice; and the lady just 
 mentioned thought it no more than proper 
 that the angel taken to Mr. Honeydew's 
 heart should have a more substantial place of 
 worldly residence than a suite of apartments, 
 at dollars per week, in a nice hotel. 
 
 Mr. Honeydew was well to do he had an 
 actual interest in a broker's business he had 
 a contingent interest in some " lots up town " 
 and as he could afford a home, Mrs. H. 
 had decided in her prettiest way, that he 
 should provide for his household angel. 
 
 " Dear Mamma says, darling " commenced 
 2*
 
 34 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the lady, in a slightly tremulous accent, for it 
 was the first real effort of her life to devise or 
 to carve out anything like a reality of what 
 she was expected to do, in her new relations 
 "dear Mamma says, that we should go to 
 housekeeping. You know, dear, now that we 
 are married there may not " here the lady 
 blushed becomingly " there may not always 
 be only two of us and you know, dear, that 
 hotels are not pleasant." 
 
 Mr. Honeydew smiled he let fall the paper 
 which he had just taken up, and the little lady 
 on the sofa took the smile for one of approval. 
 
 He had nothing to say in contradiction. 
 Whether the lady, or- her mother, was re 
 sponsible for the suggestion, he adopted it, 
 and merely nodded assent at what might be 
 an impending contingency. 
 
 When the gentleman threw around and 
 about, and turned over, in a moment's con 
 sideration, just what the force of his wife's 
 argument might be, he drew a cloud-picture. 
 He saw himself in his own house neat, 
 pretty, not extravagant, and well appoint 
 ed he saw Mrs. Honeydew going about
 
 MR. HONEYDEW'S PICTURE. 35 
 
 superintending things generally as of course 
 she would be expected to do and saw not 
 two rooms, but several, in which they could 
 move. There was their charming bed-room, 
 all fixed out in black walnut and white mar 
 ble with a blue carpet (Mrs. H. 's favorite 
 color) ; then there was the dressing-room at 
 tached, with his pet shaving - stand in a 
 prominent position and good light, by a 
 convenient window ; there was his sweet 
 little wife's pet bureau a new one, to be 
 purchased cheval-glass, drawers and every 
 thing complete ; the library, with all his bach 
 elorhood accumulation of books and papers, 
 and the pictures; the dining-room, in wal 
 nut or oak, with nice high-backed chairs, 
 leather-cushioned and brass-nail-studded m 
 short, there was the whole house, just as he 
 would like to have it rand it should be his 
 not a vine and a fig tree, but his own proper 
 (hired) house and they two were to live in it. 
 After Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew had both 
 breathed just a little more freely, and the ice 
 in the matter had been finally broken, there 
 was a very satisfactory matrimonial talk.
 
 36 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 There was at least one portion of a stock 
 in household furniture to start on : there were 
 the wedding presents kind friends, generous 
 and thoughtful, had loaded down the table in 
 the present-room with all sorts of suggestive 
 contributions. There were several dozens of 
 spoons and there was a predominance of la 
 dles in the general assortment, very surprising 
 in extent, and very unavailable as to quantity. 
 
 But they could be exchanged. Dear Mam 
 ma said so, and of course she was right ; then 
 dear Mamma had some table and bed linen 
 which her dear daughter could have and 
 there were several articles of furniture (not 
 elegant, but very precious from their associa 
 tions) which she would be glad to give them. 
 
 And the dear, loving, delightful lady had 
 saved them a deal of trouble in the selec 
 tion of a house ; there was a pretty brown- 
 stone, English basement one in - street, 
 
 convenient to the Park, from which the family 
 friends of one of Mamma's old friends had 
 recently removed and she had inquired all 
 about the rent. 
 
 In one of their daily excursions which al-
 
 A LITTLE LETTER. 37 
 
 ways ended in time for Mrs. Honeydew to be 
 at home for dinner dear Mamma had taken 
 her up to see the house the refusal had been 
 obtained and now the proposition was made 
 at the proper time most certainly. 
 
 Mr. Honeydew thought well of the general 
 proposition : there was an hour of delightful 
 conversation plans were made and unmade 
 the advertising columns of the Herald were 
 overhauled the most eligible " wants " for 
 a cook and a waitress were marked for an ex 
 amination there were two kisses each upon 
 the happy prospective result, and Mr. Honey- 
 dew went out for a walk, sending 1 a little note, 
 written by his wife, to the residence of her 
 dear Mamma. 
 
 The lady was happy when she wrote it, and 
 it read as follows : 
 
 - HOTEL. 
 Sunday Morning. 
 My Darling Mamma 
 
 Harry and I will take tea with you this 
 evening. We want to talk over the house 
 matters. It is all arranged. 
 
 Your loving daughter, 
 
 MARIAN.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MRS. HONEYDEW'S TOUR OF EXPLORATION. 
 
 WHAT a pleasant little tea-party it was in 
 dear Mamma's cosy dining-room, that Sun 
 day evening! How pleasant the good lady 
 was, and what a nice cigar had been laid 
 aside for Mr. Harry Honeydew, when they 
 had adjourned to the library, and the well-laid 
 plans for their housekeeping were talked 
 over ! 
 
 The minuteness of detail with which the 
 fine points of the arrangement were taken up 
 was refreshing ; and when the two started for 
 
 their apartments at the Hotel, Mrs. 
 
 Honeydew was ready for an early departure 
 next morning, in quest of the necessary force 
 of servants to run the new establishment suc 
 cessfully. 
 
 And then, it was talked over when they 
 
 were at home in their pretty rooms at 
 
 (38)
 
 MRS. HONEYDEW'S TOUR OF EXPLORATION. 39 
 
 Hotel; and Mrs. Honeydevv seemed to feel 
 very jolly at the prospect, and Mr. Honeydew 
 began to count the limited number of his 
 hotel breakfasts to come, and wondered where 
 abouts in the New Home he should hang 
 the pictures which now graced the walls of 
 his " private parlor," Room No. . 
 
 One of the waiters at the Hotel was 
 
 somewhat surprised at eight o'clock on the 
 Monday morning following the pleasant little 
 tea-party at dear Mamma's. Mr. Honeydew 
 had company at breakfast; the little lady with 
 the lustrous eyes and the soft brown hair, who 
 had become Mrs. Honeydew a few months be 
 fore, came down to her early breakfast with 
 her hat and cloak on, and laid a pair of pretty, 
 light-colored kids, with dear little glove-fast 
 eners mounted in ruby, alongside her plate 
 with an air of confidence which showed that 
 she intended to go somewhere and " meant 
 business." 
 
 She had cut several sparkling advertise 
 ments from the paper, had put them in the 
 small pocket of her side-satchel, and was go-
 
 40 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 ing out upon her trip of exploration ; so she 
 finished her breakfast, put on the gloves, and 
 walked out with Mr. Honeydew from the 
 " ladies' entrance." 
 
 A pretty spring morning so Mr. and Mrs. 
 Honeydew struck off from the Avenue, and 
 together, they walked down town. 
 
 It would have been more agreeable had the 
 lady taken a carriage to make her rounds ; 
 but she stopped in her walk, bade Mr. Honey- 
 dew an affectionate street-corner farewell, 
 and then examined the contents of the little 
 Russia-leather bag : 
 
 EAST D ST., THIRD FLOOR A RE PECTA- 
 
 ble Protestant woman as cook in a gentleman's 
 family ; understands all kinds of cooking, soups, 
 meats, game and desserts ; has lived in some of the 
 best families ; reference from her last place. 
 
 EAST TH ST. TWO RESPECTABLE GIRLS ; 
 
 one as cook and to do the coarse washing and 
 ironing; the other as chambermaid and waitress; 
 best city reference. 
 
 TH AV., CORNER OF TH ST. A NEAT 
 
 tidy girl as cook, washer and ironer in a 
 small private family ; is willing and obliging in 
 her manners and is not afraid to work ; has the very 
 best city reference. Apply for two days. 
 
 _ WEST TH ST., NEAR TH AV. A YOUNG 
 
 woman as cook ; would assist with washing 
 and ironing : best city reference. 
 
 _ WEST TH ST., BETWEEN TH and TH 
 ays., up one flight of stairs, room 5. A respect 
 able girl in a small private family ; is an excellent 
 cook and has no objection to assist in the washing 
 and ironing; four years' reference from her last 
 place.
 
 FIVE CHANCES FOR A COOK. 41 
 
 Here were five chances for innocent, unso 
 phisticated Mrs. Honeydevv to find just what 
 she wanted ; so she stepped into a convenient 
 drug-store, begged the favor of a seat for a 
 few moments, and repaid the favor of the 
 seat by the purchase of a new puff and a 
 paper of Lubin's best toilet powder. 
 
 The careful hands of Mr. Honeydew had 
 sorted out the advertisements, leaving the 
 lady to take them in a progressive order, in 
 consideration of the fact that, it was necessary 
 to travel about by the most convenient and 
 time-saving routes, so that the would-be 
 housekeeper saw an easy task before her. 
 
 Certainly, in all the long list of females 
 who were willing to serve as cooks, and had 
 no objection to assist at the washing and iron 
 ing, there were more than she desired, and on 
 the way to the first of the ladies' houses, in 
 
 East Street, third floor, Mrs. Honeydew 
 
 turned over in her mind how nice it would be 
 to have a cook in the house who knew every 
 thing, and who could get up her dear hus 
 band's dinners just as he would like to have 
 them. Any candidate for the position who
 
 42 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 could answer all her questions would be a jew 
 el, and so she turned off from the Avenue into 
 
 East Street, with her dainty Polish boots 
 
 coming down fairly and squarely upon the 
 plebeian pavement, as though the best favorite 
 of court circles had deigned to lend her pres 
 ence to a not parti cularly aristocratic neigh 
 borhood. 
 
 The confidence with which the little lady 
 went eastward was no secondary considera 
 tion in the beginning of her day's work. 
 She was the happiest little woman, with few 
 actual but many prospective responsibilities, 
 that could be imagined. 
 
 Many a time, and often, she had started 
 out shopping ; but the work of servant- 
 hunting was, as yet, a luxury ; so she was 
 bold in heart, confident and expectant, as she 
 
 began the search for No. East Street, 
 
 third floor, to seek the Protestant lady who 
 was willing to go as cook into a gentleman's 
 family, and who knew, according to her own 
 statement, all that it was necessary to know 
 and perhaps more of all kinds of cooking. 
 
 Now, Marian Honeydew was an enterpris-
 
 A STRANGE NEIGHBORHOOD. 43 
 
 ing little woman ; she had correct ideas in 
 some things, and somewhat chimerical ones 
 in others. But in the main, she was right, 
 and so she tripped along, " bound east," with 
 a hearty will, and full confidence in the result. 
 Mrs. Honeydew had never been so far 
 from the dividing line of the East and West 
 before, except to go to the ferries, and once 
 to the launching of a steamer, to which she 
 went with Papa, on a very festive occasion ; 
 so she found herself in an unfamiliar neigh 
 borhood; and in that neighborhood she felt 
 herself to be thoroughly adrift. There was 
 not the orderly appearance and the cleanli 
 ness which she had found in the narrow com 
 pass of the street where dear Mamma lived 
 and Madison Avenue ; there were several 
 carts in the street carts without horses and 
 the carts were standing before sundry dingy 
 buildings and before sundry stable doors ; the 
 tires upon the wheels of the carts were rust 
 ed and dirty, and boys were playing hide and 
 seek in and below the vehicles. The gamins 
 of the East side looked and laughed at Mrs. 
 Marian Honeydew, but Mrs. Marian Honey-
 
 44 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 dew did not take time to laugh at them ; she 
 was studying the street numbers, and wonder 
 ing how much farther off the desired house 
 might be, and just how far eastward the 
 street might extend. 
 
 " You'se lookin' for some un, ma'am ?" ask 
 ed a chubby-faced lad, with a greasy cap on 
 his head, and a dirty rubber ball in his left 
 hand. " Who d 'ye want over 'ere?" 
 
 The lad was good-humored, and his face 
 looked honest, so she laid her gloved hand 
 upon his shoulder as he looked inquiringly 
 up at her, gathered her skirts a little more 
 carefully from the unswept pavement, and 
 gave him a couple of five-cent pieces for his 
 politeness. 
 
 Unfortunate coinage of the United States 
 mint ! No sooner had he received the money, 
 than his face was lighted up with a broad 
 smile, and he looked, first at her, and then at 
 his dirty companions in their interrupted 
 game of base-ball. 
 
 " Look a-here, Johnny ! See what this 'ere 
 lady 's give me ; she wants to find some one ; 
 come, you fellers, an' help her ! "
 
 NO. EAST STREET. 45 
 
 And the " fellers " alluded to came, prompt 
 ly four in number, and each evincing his ap 
 preciation of what she had so kindly done for 
 one of them by suggesting a similar present, 
 and offering valuable assistance in her search, 
 either without, or for a consideration. 
 
 Meekly, she told her trouble, and with a 
 generosity of character which will (some day, 
 perhaps) elevate that boy to a high municipal 
 office on a Reform ticket, the lad first ad 
 dressing her told his companions to "take a 
 back track an' let the lady alone," and escort 
 ed her to the house she sought. 
 
 No. East Street was one of the 
 
 features of the city a tenement house, equip 
 ped with a fire-escape, the front of the building 
 ornamented with brown-stone caps to the 
 windows, and bearing somewhat the appear 
 ance of a well-built factory, transformed into a 
 dwelling. There was a wide " stoop," of seven 
 or eight steps, and a front door which would 
 have borne a highly respectable tenement- 
 house aspect, only that the lower panels had 
 been kicked clean of any varnish or paint by 
 the boot-toes of impatient urchins, and the
 
 46 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 No. which had been put upon the center 
 of it, in the palmy days of the establishment, 
 had been covered over with black paint by 
 some enterprising juvenile artist, and then 
 circled with chalk by an assistant, while above it 
 was the dignified inscription, in crazy char 
 acters : 
 
 HOSE 
 
 O. 10. B. 
 
 BULLY. 
 
 A frouzy-headed Irish woman stood lean 
 ing against the side of the partly open door, 
 and to her Marian Honeydew addressed her 
 conversation in a tremblingly anxious tone. 
 The Milesian lady took in at a single glance 
 the errand and disposition of the lady, answer 
 ing her question almost before it had been 
 completed. 
 
 " My name 's Mulrooney Ellen Mulrooney, 
 ma 'am and the lady you 're lookin' for has 
 jist gone across the sthreet ! " 
 
 In a mildly positive accent, Marian explain
 
 A LADY SNUBBED. 47 
 
 ed the object of her visit that she wanted a 
 cook, the woman who had advertised that 
 morning, in the paper and she noticed, in 
 the meantime, that the eyes of the Mulrooney 
 were directed across the street, in a peculiarly 
 unintelligible manner. 
 
 " Ye want the lady who advertised, ma 'am ? 
 well, she ain't home, I tell ye !" 
 
 " I can wait for her then, if you please " 
 suggested Mrs. Marian Honeydew, putting 
 on a bolder face, and resolved to go through 
 the whole programme, submit to be de 
 layed and even questioned, by the frouzy- 
 headed female, for the sake of the cook who 
 knew all about the game and desserts of 
 which her dear Harry was so fond. 
 
 There was a look, quizzical and half insult 
 ing, from the woman still leaning against the 
 door-post, and then a leer of satisfaction, as 
 Mrs. Honeydew stood up one step higher, 
 almost beside her, with two children who had 
 followed gaping up at her from the pave 
 ment. 
 
 " Well, ma-am to tell ye the thruth, ye 
 need n't wait ye wont suit her!"
 
 48 THE SERVANT GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Marian turned from the indignant Ellen Mul- 
 rooney 'twas like a blow between her pretty 
 dark eyes, now flashing with ill-pent vexation, 
 this sudden dismissal from further enquiry, 
 while a low, ringing laugh resounded from a 
 two-story frame house directly opposite. 
 
 The applicant for the place had bargained 
 with Ellen Mulrooney to inspect the ladies who 
 came in answer to the six line advertisement ; 
 telegraphic signals to her accomplice had 
 conveyed the news that she was " not at 
 home," and Ellen Mulrooney had conveyed 
 that meaning, as she closed the door and left 
 our anxious servant-seeker standing on the 
 steps. 
 
 Marian could have cried but she did n't ; 
 all the " decision of character," as dear Mam 
 ma was pleased to call it, which came to her 
 by inheritance of disposition from her respect 
 ed maternal, came to her aid, as she coolly 
 stood upon the stone steps, and referred to 
 the advertisements which Harry had so nicely 
 arranged for her. 
 
 A carriage, coming out from one of the ad 
 jacent stables, rolled past the door, and the
 
 A SECOND TRIAL. 49 
 
 appearance of a well-dressed lady arrested 
 the attention of the driver. 
 
 He looked at Marian Honeydew she look 
 ed at him ; he stopped and drew up his frac 
 tious horses at the curb-stone. 
 
 " Are you engaged ?" she asked. 
 
 " No, Miss, not for an hour." 
 
 " Then drive me to No. Avenue, corner 
 of West Street." 
 
 She entered the open door of the coach 
 without more ado, and while she was being 
 driven off to the West side of the town, re 
 flected upon her first experience, and kept on 
 reflecting, till " Here you are, ma'am ; shall I 
 wait for you ?" aroused her. 
 
 This time things had a better appearance. 
 The house was a large one, evidently a board 
 ing-house, and she rang the bell with confi 
 dence. 
 
 A tidy waitress answered the call, and she 
 enquired of the girl whether a servant had 
 advertised from the establishment. 
 
 A girl had advertised for a situation as 
 cook, and Mrs. H. was shown into the board 
 ing-house parlor to await her coming. 
 3
 
 50 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 The "neat, tidy girl" soon made her ap 
 pearance, and that neat appearance won the 
 heart of pretty little Mrs. Honeydew. 
 
 The girl was the type of an Irish blonde 
 hair of an indefinite auburn, clear blue eyes, 
 rather a round face, but a generous one, and 
 she did look neat and tidy in her dress. 
 
 "You advertised " 
 
 " Yes, ma'am, for a place as a cook, an' I'm 
 not afraid to work." 
 
 The woman had evidently studied the ad 
 vertisement, and proposed to comply with its 
 conditions at the very outset of the enquiries. 
 
 " You can cook ?" 
 
 " Yes, ma'am, I can." 
 
 " All kinds of dishes ?" 
 
 " Yes, ma'am, most all kinds. How large 
 a family have ye ?" 
 
 " Myself and husband " 
 
 " Any children, ma'am, to wash for ?" 
 
 " Not yet," blushed Marian, the question 
 was so suddenly sprung ; " I am lately mar 
 ried." 
 
 " Have ye kept house before, ma'am ?" 
 
 " Yes, with my mother."
 
 THE JEWEL SECURED. 51 
 
 " Does your mother live with you, ma'am ?" 
 
 Mrs. Honeydew could not quite see why 
 such a question had been put, but she mildly 
 answered in the negative, to which the girl 
 continued the neat, tidy girl, who wasn't 
 afraid to work : 
 
 " An* the wages, ma'am ? I'll come for 
 fourteen dollars a month, one evenin' an' every 
 other Sunday out." 
 
 After several questions, and a detailed de 
 scription of how her husband liked to have 
 his dishes cooked, and how she would not 
 want her until the beginning of the next 
 week, and how she could have the Sunday 
 out, but not the " one evening," and to which 
 negation the girl consented, she agreed to 
 come to Mrs. Honeydew, and " knew she 
 would suit, if the lady would give her a fair 
 thrial." 
 
 So far, so good ; and so, with the good 
 news to be taken to dear Mamma at once, 
 and to Harry, when he came home to dinner, 
 Marian felt that she had secured a servant, 
 just to suit, and ordered the driver to set her 
 down at dear Mamma's.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 A PAIR OF FAMILY PORTRAITS. 
 
 WITH ill-concealed impatience evinced in 
 her action and words, our expectant would- 
 be housekeeper was set down by the coach- 
 driver at the door of her mother's house a 
 brown-stone front of commanding exterior, 
 in a fashionable neighborhood. She sprang 
 up the steps of the wide portals with scarcely 
 two bounds, and pulled the bell with more 
 decided impatience than one would have sup 
 posed the dainty hands, encased in number 
 five-and-three- quarters Jugla's best, could 
 have been guilty of. The bell rang furiously, 
 and the girl who answered the summons flew 
 to the door with more speed than was her 
 wont, even upon special occasions. 
 
 With only a nod to the girl, Mrs. Honey- 
 dew sprang upstairs and into dear Mamma's 
 room, where there was an exhibition of
 
 DEAR MAMMA. 53 
 
 family portraits, one of them done in water 
 colors. 
 
 At sight of the old lady, who sat compos 
 edly, we will not presume to say indolently, 
 in an easy chair, the little lady burst into 
 tears, and sobbed rather hysterically as she 
 hid one half of her face in the dainty folds of 
 her little 6x9 handkerchief; for, in all things, 
 Marian had an eye to the pretty, and she 
 knew just how to handle a mouchoir when 
 weeping. 
 
 Just here, a word or two of description as 
 to Mamma may not be incorrect: she was 
 stout, a little above fifty in age, well-preserved, 
 and with a countenance which bore unmis 
 takable evidence of what she was pleased to 
 call her " strength of character." At one time 
 she had been good-looking, perhaps hand 
 some, and she was, barring a peculiar hard 
 ness of outline in her face, rather attractive 
 than repulsive. 
 
 " Well, what is it now, Marian ?" was her 
 pertinent question, in one of her " decided " 
 tones, as her daughter threw herself upon 
 the sofa.
 
 54 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 " Matter enough, Mamma," replied Marian, 
 in one of her decided tones ; " I 've been hunt 
 ing after a girl, and I 've got one, at last." 
 
 She told over to her mother all the varied 
 experiences of the morning's work, winding 
 up the description with a graphic picture of 
 the neat, tidy cook whom she had engaged, 
 stating wages, conditions, and what the new 
 help was expected to do. 
 
 Dear Mamma smiled faintly ; but there was 
 a self-satisfaction in the glance which spoke 
 volumes. She was an effective mother-in-law, 
 a not overly indulgent mother, and she saw 
 her golden opportunity. 
 
 Of foreign birth, and welF equipped for 
 active service in her home campaigns by 
 a good temper of her own, she prided herself 
 particularly upon her talent in the regulating 
 of other people's affairs. She was a tireless 
 worker ; that is, when her own especial con 
 venience, if not her own comfort, was imme 
 diately concerned. Of foreign extraction 
 German she had come over to this country 
 at an early age, the wife of a ship captain, 
 who had married her in one of the German
 
 WHAT MAMMA HAD DONE. 55 
 
 ports, and brought her over to his own home 
 brought her over to help him carve their 
 own way in the world, which she had done, 
 working and saving, through years of slight 
 comfort and some necessities, till there were 
 lucky turns in her husband's business affairs ; 
 and then, with all the pride of which she was 
 capable, they had branched out in a fine es 
 tablishment, with several grown-up daughters, 
 one of whom she had married successfully, 
 and away from home ; another of whom she 
 had condescended to bestow upon Mr. Harry 
 Honeydew. 
 
 It may have been that Marian found a 
 pleasanter home with Harry Honeydew than 
 she did within the limits of dear Mamma's pa 
 rental establishment, for the title to the house 
 was in that lady's name, and as she pretended 
 to handle a certain income from real-estate 
 investments, she claimed the privilege of the 
 dispensation of the income as she saw fit. 
 
 She had nicely planned out the way of life 
 which the young people should lead. She 
 wanted Marian to go to housekeeping, and of 
 course expected to maintain a certain right
 
 56 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 of supervision over the internal arrangements 
 of the establishment which she had selected. 
 
 And so, there were a pair of family portraits, 
 that morning one in delicate water colors, 
 and one in decided oil, with a good high tone 
 to it ; and, without being altogether an illit 
 erate rendering of the English, there was a 
 German accent to Mamma's language which 
 sometimes rendered it forcible, without in 
 tention : 
 
 " So you 've got the girl, have you and 
 when is she to come ? " 
 
 " On Monday, I told her, if the house was 
 ready by that time ;" was the meek reply, 
 which to Marian seemed just what to say, and 
 to her mother, not quite what she should have 
 answered. 
 
 " Then we must close the thing up at once 
 what does Harry say?" 
 
 "What should he say have n't I told him 
 that I wanted it and should n't he do all that 
 I want him to, now that he is my husband ? " 
 
 Mrs. Honeydew brightened up a little she 
 felt the master's part of Mamma's nature ris 
 ing up in her, and there was an importance
 
 POLICY AND COLOGNE-WATER. 57 
 
 in the new situation which she felt that she 
 should appreciate. 
 
 " True enough, my dear ; but you know 
 the work must not be too sudden ; time 
 enough to do quite as you want in everything, 
 when you are settled. I have been to the 
 agent's for you this morning, and the lease 
 will be all ready this afternoon. Will you go 
 up to the house with me ? " 
 
 There was a sigh of relief from pretty little 
 Mrs. Honeydew, as she arose from the sofa, 
 brushed her brown hair back from her face, 
 bathed her eyes with diluted eau de cologne, 
 and took just a little brush of the chamois 
 powder-pad over her cheeks and chin ; Mam 
 ma could always settle things so nicely, and 
 so quickly, and it was such a relief to her. 
 
 The visit to the new domicile being decided 
 upon, the two set off this time in an ordinary 
 street car, and proceeded to inspect the new 
 residence in which Harry Honeydew and his 
 song-bird were proposed to be caged. 
 
 And it was a neat little box of a house, to 
 be sure. It was nicely situated near one of 
 the best avenues, it had a good exposure in 
 3*
 
 58 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the rear, was just in the centre of a row of 
 neat little houses, and it was altogether a de 
 sirable investment, at the modest sum of one 
 hundred and fifty dollars per month, nicely 
 furnished. 
 
 True, some of the furniture was a little the 
 worse for wear, and there was not quite the 
 assortment of A I hair mattresses which one 
 could desire ; but it was good enough to start 
 with. Harry would of course purchase a piano, 
 for, since they had been boarding, Marian's 
 music had been neglected ; and there was a 
 suite of bed-room furniture to be obtained for 
 Marian's room ; and the dining-room would 
 look much better in oak and walnut than in 
 the present equipments which were placed in 
 it ; but all these could soon be obtained. 
 
 There was a general inventory of the avail- 
 ables made there were some very appropriate 
 whispered calculations as to the general effect 
 of the improvements suggested, some few cal 
 culations as to the probable cost and Marian 
 went home to her room at - Hotel, threw 
 off her cloak and hat, and watched the hands 
 upon the Geneva clock, ticking away upon the
 
 NEWS FOR HARRY. 59 
 
 mantel, confident that, when Harry Honey- 
 dew came home to dinner, she had a nice little 
 story to tell him of the day's work, and what 
 might come of it.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 MR. HONEYDEW DOES HIS DUTY. 
 
 MR. HARRY HONEYDEW rode up town in a 
 coupe' that is, he " tossed up " a nickel at Del- 
 monico's in Broad Street, won the toss, and 
 so rode up in the coupt at a friend's expense 
 as many of the Wall street fellows do, by the 
 way, either with or without the " flipping up 
 the currency." 
 
 What the story was that his wife told him, 
 though very and properly interesting to 
 the parties concerned, would be of little im 
 portance in detail in our volume ; neither 
 would a description of the seductive matri 
 monial kisses with which Marian took care to 
 punctuate her sentences be quite appropri 
 ate. Sufficient is it to know that the plan 
 which dear Mamma had clearly devised, and 
 with which she had "stuffed" her daughter, 
 
 in advance of Mr. Honeydew's arrival home 
 (60)
 
 MR. HONEYDEW'S CONVERSION. 6l 
 
 to dinner, as a pupil would have been " stuff 
 ed " for a school examination, was told over, 
 with the doubtful parts of the story in the 
 most delicate parenthesis. 
 
 Harry found his little wife just tired 
 enough to be interesting ; for any lady, when 
 fatigued, and pretty in her fatigue, who almost 
 supplicates for sympathy, with a pouting lip 
 and a pair of pretty dark eyes, is morally and 
 matrimonially certain of securing that sym 
 pathy in a ready consent to her expressed or 
 implied wishes, if the party of whom she sup 
 plicates be her husband, and if the couple 
 should chance to have been lately married. 
 
 And we have said that the lovemaking of 
 Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew was not yet over, 
 and that Marian was decidedly pretty, and 
 left the presumption that her husband was 
 a willing convert to the pleasant side of their 
 proposed housekeeping experiment. 
 
 The aspect of their bedroom and parlor 
 at the Hotel had changed since morn 
 ing. In contrast with what they were to 
 have in the snug little English basement 
 house, (convenient to the Park,) the area in
 
 62 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 which they were at . present compelled to 
 move seemed decidedly insignificant. What 
 were two windows, looking out on Broadway, 
 when compared to the several windows of 
 the several stories in that particular house in 
 which they proposed to live and have their 
 being ! And what were the table-furniture 
 
 and cuisine of the Hotel to the display 
 
 of wedding-present silver on their own buffet 
 in their new home, and the breakfasts and din 
 ners which their newly-engaged cook was to 
 prepare for them ! Mrs. Honeydew had 
 framed her domestic picture in so pretty a 
 setting that Harry was jubilant, and his wife 
 contented at the prospect. 
 
 This jubilation caused him some anxiety, 
 to be sure. According to the inventory which 
 had been taken down, there were several im 
 portant deficiencies to be supplied in the 
 appointments of the new house ; the pots, ket 
 tles and pans needed a general overhauling, 
 and some additions ; the iron utensils were 
 pretty generally worn out, and some of the 
 tin-ware was in a dilapidated and unservicea 
 ble condition saucepans with very thin bot-
 
 MRS. HONEYDEW'S DUTY. 63 
 
 toms were not up to the requirements of 
 Marian's idea of what saucepans should be ; 
 and to her own discretion and her daintily 
 gloved hands were given the business of pur 
 chasing what she needed in that line, and a 
 general assortment of ordinary glass-ware, to 
 gether with the selection of such pieces of 
 stone-ware or china as were necessary to re 
 place those which were fringed upon their 
 edges or variegated in appearance from 
 stove-burns or cracks. 
 
 Wall Street did not see the junior partner 
 of Margin, Short & Honeydew, Stock Brok 
 ers, until late in the afternoon of the next 
 day. 
 
 The kind friends of dear Mamma's friends, 
 who were " going away into the country," 
 very graciously permitted Mr. Honeydew to 
 view his intended residence early in the 
 morning, and the lady of the establishment 
 volunteered and gave him good advice in the 
 selection, while suggesting what might be 
 needed, and as a surprise to his sweet wife 
 who seemed so much at heart in the whole 
 arrangement he proposed to startle her by
 
 64 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 doing, unasked, what he presumed to be his 
 duty. 
 
 The black-walnut and marble-top suit of 
 chamber furniture, with the cheval-glass bu 
 reau, were selected, paid for, and ordered to 
 be sent on the Monday following ; the carpet 
 man was directed to take the measurement 
 of the room, and the blue and white carpet 
 was selected and ordered to be made by the 
 same time ; the peculiar ideas of his own (the 
 fruit of his home living and bachelor days) 
 were given form, shape and substance in an 
 elegant buffet ; after the buffet, the dining- 
 table with the proper extension and the new 
 chairs were added ; he found a complete set 
 of glass-ware was a good thing to buy, and 
 the monogram could be nicely engrav.en upon 
 it, in due season, with the initial letters of his 
 name and Marian's in a neat wreath, upon 
 each piece ; so he completed his orders, gave 
 directions to send the bills to the office, and 
 went down town to business, with a confused 
 idea of what the stock-board quotations were 
 the afternoon before, and a very distinct idea 
 that he was setting out in the world as a mar-
 
 THE WORK COMMENCED. 65 
 
 ried man, and the head of a prospective house 
 hold, in sober earnest. 
 
 And how with Mrs. H.? 
 
 Xn hour after her husband had gone, she 
 was standing upon the doorstep at dear Mam 
 ma's, anxious to carry the good news to her 
 and quite willing to receive and act upon the 
 advice of the lady who knew just what to do, 
 and how to do it. 
 
 The advice was timely ; it suited dear 
 Mamma to give it. There was a semblance 
 of authority in the position which met her 
 preconceived ideas of the proper superinten 
 dence over her daughter's domestic affairs 
 which struck her in her most vulnerable point. 
 Her decision of character had full scope, and 
 a trip with Marian up to the new house soon 
 settled the question as to what was immedi 
 ately necessary to be done. All, or nearly 
 all, of the worn-out things were discarded ; 
 even a genteel request to know if they could 
 have the house before Monday, was made in 
 a polite and entreating manner ; and by three 
 o'clock in the afternoon several large baskets- 
 ful of necessary things were delivered, and
 
 66 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the bills sent to Mr. Honeydew's office, and a 
 special messenger dispatched with a note, 
 written in a delicate hand by Mrs. Honey- 
 dew, to be left at the Hotel. It was short, 
 affectionate, but effective, and a stratum of true 
 womanly feeling ran all the way through it, 
 shining out from within the envelope, as 
 Harry Honeydew saw it sticking in the frame 
 of the parlor mirror, as he came into his 
 rooms that afternoon. 
 
 " MY DARLING HUSBAND, Mamma and I 
 have been up to the new house. Perhaps we 
 may get in before Monday ; so I have gone 
 over to Mamma's to see about the silver and 
 the other things. I am so tired that I shall 
 not be home to-night, and there is so much to 
 do. Come over, please, after dinner ; or come 
 over and dine at Mother's, if you want to. 
 You won't be angry, pet, will you ? 
 
 " Your wife, MARIAN." 
 
 " P. S. As you are such a good boy, I 
 send you a kiss Q) here." 
 
 The circle, which was supposed to con 
 tain the affectionate matrimonial kiss, looked
 
 NOT ANGRY, BUT SURPRISED. 6/ 
 
 so cunning- at the end of the postscript, that 
 Harry could find no fault with the note. 
 There may have been just the faintest possi 
 ble thought that Marian might have been at 
 home ; but then, the dear child really had so 
 many things to do, and all the wedding pres 
 ents were over at Mamma's, in a silver-chest 
 in one of the front spare rooms ; and there 
 were so many things to be talked over and 
 accomplished at dear Mamma's, that he felt it 
 best not to be angry, if he should be just a 
 little piqued at her remissness ; so he did his 
 duty again, by eating a good dinner at the 
 
 Hotel, lighted a large cigar after the 
 
 meal, and, cane in hand, walked over to see 
 Marian, and to surprise her, for the kiss she 
 had sent him, with the story of his day's 
 work, and of all the purchases which he had 
 made ; and he never realized before how inde 
 pendent a, person could be, and how nicely 
 one could entertain his friends, and live at his 
 ease and comfort in his own house, as he did 
 while walking up the Avenue. 
 
 Not that Harry Honey dew had not always 
 lived at home ; but he loved his almost baby-
 
 68 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 wife, and he knew that they would be happier 
 in their own home, when they should have 
 one. 
 
 His cloud-picture was fast showing its out 
 line and its coloring in moie distinct charac 
 ters ; the work of the day had given a zest to 
 the undertaking which begat a new interest 
 in the experiment of housekeeping, and, like 
 a good, fond, indulgent husband, he was im 
 patient to break the news to Marian how 
 pretty the cage should be in which his house 
 hold songstress was to be made happy. 
 
 So his musing as he walked along was 
 profitably pleasant, and the wreaths of smoke 
 from his fragrant cigar served as a sympa 
 thetic companion in his evening reverie. 
 
 How glad they were to see him at the ma 
 ternal mansion ; how prettily Mrs. Honeydew 
 apologized for her absence, and how she hoped 
 her dear Harry was not angry with her, were 
 the pleasant things of the occasion, after the 
 gentleman had reached Mamma's. 
 
 Marian's pretty face looked well, lighted up 
 with expectation, her dress thrown off, and 
 she clad in her sister's red dressing-gown and
 
 AN " OPENING " IN SILVER-WARE. 69 
 
 a pair of her own old slippers. She had 
 been at work all day. The silver from the 
 chest had been spread out upon the bed in 
 the front spare room, and it was on full ex 
 hibition when Harry came in. But the ladles 
 bothered Marian ; they were greatly in excess 
 of the proportion needed in a well-appointed 
 and well-regulated establishment ; there were 
 napkin-rings enough to equip a small family 
 with one or two children, and as for the jput- 
 ter-knives, there were enough to fit out a 
 genteel boarding-house but the next day, 
 the ladles and useless butter-knives were to 
 be transformed into the required number of 
 tea, dessert, and table-spoons, by a friend of 
 dear Mamma, who presided over a manufac 
 tory of silver and plated ware. 
 
 The bed-linen, which was quite an heir 
 loom in the family, was already bestowed 
 upon the chair by the side of the bed in that 
 same front spare room, and a set of china tea 
 service, which had been given by one of the 
 aunts of the family, had been nicely and care 
 fully packed in a large basket, each piece of 
 the set properly wrapped up in newspaper, and
 
 7<D THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the whole ready for immediate and safe trans 
 portation. , 
 
 " Do as you please, my pet," was his loving 
 reply, as Marian's little hands were, meta 
 phorically, spread over the whole array of 
 silver- ware ; " and now I '11 tell you what I've 
 been doing !" 
 
 How the little lady's face glowed all over 
 with expectation as he enumerated the arti- 
 cles^ which he had bought; and how cheer 
 fully expectant she looked when she inquired 
 when they would be read}' ! And how dear 
 Mamma volunteered the approbation of a lov 
 ing mother at the selection he had made, and 
 added : 
 
 " Your piano, dear ; how nice it would be 
 if you could have it when you went into the 
 house !" 
 
 Harry thought the piano, just then, more 
 of a luxury than a necessity, and he ventured 
 to say so. 
 
 There was a look of mild reproach from 
 Marian, nothing more, and they dropped the 
 subject; nevertheless Marian, at Mamma's 
 suggestion, packed up her music, and pre-
 
 A DETERMINATION. 
 
 7. 
 
 pared to send it with the rest of the things, 
 to have it ready when the piano did come, at 
 least. 
 
 There were several cigars smoked, and sev 
 eral interesting arguments upon what was at 
 once necessary, in which Harry advised, and 
 Marian suggested, and Mamma decided, dur 
 ing the evening; a visit to the New Home 
 next morning, was agreed upon ; a list of 
 commissions to be executed and things to see 
 about was carefully written out in pencil, and 
 given to Mr. Honeydew, all of which he 
 promised to attend to most faithfully, and 
 when Marian laid her head upon her hus 
 band's shoulder, and he kissed her good 
 night, as they retired to rest in that front 
 spare room at dear Mamma's, he saw, in his 
 own mind, that he had work to do, and meant 
 to do it, with a hearty will.
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE HONEYDEWS "AT HOME." 
 
 THOROUGHLY convinced that a new page 
 in his life had been turned over, and not a 
 little influenced by the delightfully assuming 
 advice of dear Mamma, and even more assur 
 ed and more enthusiastically encouraged by 
 the smiling face of his darling little wife, 
 Harry Honeydew grew impatient at the de 
 lay of a day or two in getting into the New 
 Home. He had duly purchased the furniture, 
 the glass-workers had hurried up the mono- 
 grammic embellishments upon the decanters, 
 goblets and wine-glasses ; the exchanging of 
 the useless ladles had been well contrived 
 and carried out with a liberal deduction as 
 to weight of the precious metal in the trans 
 formation into spoons and sundries and by 
 Saturday morning, the new residence was
 
 A GOOD PROSPECT. 73 
 
 ready for occupation by the young house 
 keepers. 
 
 The establishment was, in fact, ready on 
 Friday, but dear little Marian Honeydew 
 was commendably superstitious ; so Harry 
 went up to the house on Friday evening, 
 lighted the gas in every room, took the exact 
 shade and the general effect of the blue carpet 
 in the pet bed-chamber into his mind's eye, 
 went through the house from garret to cellar, 
 and when he locked the front door, and put 
 the key in his overcoat pocket, he was en 
 chanted with the prospect. 
 
 Some of the articles purchased had exceed 
 ed his probable figures of their estimated 
 cost but that was of HtHe consequence, they 
 were all so pretty, and the neat box of a 
 house was so complete. 
 
 He amused himself, on that same Friday 
 evening, by going through the kitchen closets 
 and the dining-room pantry, and noting defi 
 ciencies, according to his particular idea of 
 what the contents should be. 
 
 Dear Mamma had bargained for the balance 
 of coal which the departing family were prc- 
 4
 
 74 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 pared to leave in the cellar. It was some 
 what slaty, even a decided mixture of red 
 and white ash, and was piled up against one 
 of the walls in such a manner as to leave the 
 number* of tons a nice question for an expert; 
 but it would do, and was taken at a supposed 
 amount and at the current price, an advance 
 of nearly a dollar a ton upon its cost when 
 put in. 
 
 He surprised the grocer at the corner by a 
 very large order for sugar, coffee, tea, flour, 
 nuts, raisins, spices, and all that he had known 
 his mother to use in making nice things for 
 the table, and ended his evening's work by a 
 trip, as suggested by Marian, over to the res 
 idence of the neat, "tidy girl, who had been 
 engaged as cook, and left word for the girl to 
 be at the house at ten o'clock the next morn 
 ing, to meet Mrs. Honeydew, all of which a 
 friend, on duty at the room, faithfully prom 
 ised that she should do. And the rest of the 
 housekeeping matters he left to his wife's dis 
 cretion and industry. 
 
 With what good humor and absence of re 
 gret at the parting, he figured up and paid
 
 A NEW DEPARTURE. 75 
 
 his bill at the Hotel, we will not pretend 
 
 to say. All the worldly goods and posses 
 sions, which were necessary to their Hotel 
 existence, had been packed up in trunks and 
 sent up to the new house ; so there was little 
 for our good young people to do but to walk 
 out and away. Marian took a street-car for 
 the trip up town, and Harry a stage on the 
 Avenue, to go down to the office, agreeing to 
 " come home to dinner " at five o'clock, sharp. 
 
 And what a day that was, in Wall Street, 
 for him ! There was a delightful expectation 
 in waiting for the closing of the stock-boards 
 which lent a zest to the day's transactions, 
 and gave him the privilege of impatience for 
 the moment that he should meet his wife at 
 
 the house in Street, so convenient to 
 
 the Park. 
 
 Arrived there, he placed the latch-key to 
 the door, but pretty hands were on the knob 
 inside ; the door was opened, and a somewhat 
 tired but pretty face looked out at him from 
 behind the partly opened vestibule glasses, 
 and the kiss with which she greeted him, the 
 soft, warm pressure of her delightfully plump
 
 ?6 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 arms, as she almost stood on tip -toe and 
 clasped him around the neck, were worth 
 more to him, just then, than the rent of the 
 house for a year, or the cost of the furniture. 
 
 " Your girl came, darling?" was the inquiry," 
 when the refreshing connubial pleasantries 
 had momentarily subsided. 
 
 " Yes ; and she is getting dinner ready. 
 I've a nice steak, a broiled chicken, all kinds 
 of vegetables, and a pudding, and " 
 
 How much longer Marian would have made 
 her list of the good things provided and pre 
 paring, it would be hard to say, but she was 
 interrupted in her recital by the removal of 
 his overcoat, and by his wistful look at the 
 prettily carpeted stairway, leading up to the 
 room with-the cheval-glass bureau, the black- 
 walnut and white marble, and the blue-and- 
 white carpet. 
 
 At full length upon the bed, a few moments 
 after, Harry Honeydew took in the whole 
 room at a single glance. There was the air 
 of feminine accomplishment in housekeeping 
 neatness pervading the apartment. All the 
 little ornaments, (blue, of course,) were array-
 
 ROSE-TINTS OF LIFE. 77 
 
 ed upon the bureau, each piece standing upon 
 its own particular toilet-mat, worked in blue 
 and white, and the ivory-handled brushes were 
 in their places, and the room was thoroughly 
 " to rights." Mrs. Honeydew had worked 
 hard during the day, so he inwardly resolved 
 to see things with her eyes, and to appreciate 
 what she had been doing to make him happy, 
 and to make his home pleasant. 
 
 There was the most eminently just appre 
 ciation between them that there could have 
 been with any two people. Harry was proud 
 of what Marian had done, and Marian was 
 pleased at what he had provided for her ; the 
 rose-tints of their new married life seemed to 
 glow with an intensity of color which gave a 
 new love- phase to their existence, and, while 
 the rose-tints were thus glowing, there was 
 the sound of a silver-toned bell from below 
 stairs. 
 
 One of the wedding presents had given 
 forth to their ear its first tintinnabulations in 
 its legitimate sphere of sound, and into the 
 dining-room Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew swept 
 with the grace of consummate ease and the
 
 78 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 justly delightful "expectancy of the moment 
 each one confident of some new sur 
 prise. 
 
 There was a slight odor of new furniture 
 in the room ; there was the unmistakable 
 smell of black- walnut, freshly oiled ; but the 
 white satin-damask cloth hung in the most 
 proper sort of folds, arranged by Marian's 
 hands, and the table looked prettily in its set 
 tings of real silver and sparkling new china 
 the dishes which " belonged to the house " 
 had not yet arrived with the vegetables. 
 
 'T was a traditionary part of Mrs. Honey- 
 dew's education to affect a " style " upon 
 every possible occasion, and therefore she 
 seated herself at the foot of the table, and 
 placed Harry at the head, and awaited the 
 appearance of the new cook, who, for the 
 nonce, was maid of all work, in addition to 
 her other duties. 
 
 The expectation with which she was waited 
 for was somewhat comical would have been 
 to an old housekeeper and the door leading 
 to the hall was closed, so that there was noth 
 ing to interfere with the sound of the dumb-
 
 ELLEN. 79 
 
 waiter, which came up with the least possible 
 bump, and with a rattling of dishes, from 
 below. 
 
 Next there was a knock at the door, a 
 delicate uncertain sort of knock, at which 
 Marian smiled. Harry looked down at his 
 plate, tried to appear like the head of a house 
 hold, and Mrs. Honeydew answered, in a del 
 icate, sweet voice of pleasant assurance : 
 
 " Come in, Ellen !" 
 
 So Ellen came in, slightly abashed, and with 
 a sidelong glance at the gentleman of the 
 house a very pardonable curiosity, which is 
 the privilege of all new servants. 
 
 Ellen, by the way, was not bad-looking ; 
 her face was a little highly colored, attributa 
 ble to two causes the fire in the range, and 
 a pardonable confusion for the moment ; but 
 she had put on a clean white apron, which she 
 had tucked up at one side in a jaunty manner ; 
 she was not light-footed, but that may have 
 been from the heels upon her shoes, which 
 were heavier than need be for dining-room 
 service, and she walked about, thoroughly 
 like a girl who was not afraid to work.
 
 80 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 She may have been a little nervous in the 
 handling of the plates, and the vegetable 
 dishes were set down upon the table with a 
 decided emphasis, as Ellen's face flushed at 
 each emphatic movement, and she did con 
 trive to put the potatoes in front of Harry, 
 alongside the carving-knife and fork, and to set 
 down the chicken before Marian, between the 
 table spoons, and very close to the butter- 
 plate. 
 
 " I'm not much on waitin', ma'am," she said, 
 in apology, noticing the quick glance of in 
 quisitive surprise which Mr. Honeydew could 
 not avoid betraying. 
 
 Marian waited a moment, and then, in a 
 mild manner, gave her directions, and the 
 dishes were placed in their proper positions. 
 Ellen removed the covers, and vanished 
 through the open door. 
 
 To give the girl credit, the meat was nicely 
 cooked, seasoned properly, and the chicken 
 was broiled without much smoking, while the 
 vegetables were fairly done, and served with 
 out more than the ordinary " mussing up." 
 . " Well, darling, here we are, and I suppose
 
 FIRST VISITORS. 8 1 
 
 that you are tired," ventured Harry, between 
 chicken and steak ; " but your ne\v girl seems 
 unsteady, pet." 
 
 Marian thought so, too, but was only too 
 willing to make excuses, and relieved the girl 
 from any additional exhibitions of nervous 
 ness by placing the dishes on the dumb-waiter 
 and receiving the dessert from below. 
 
 And so, with the wine-sauce and pudding, 
 Harry Honeydew was favorably impressed 
 with the result of their initial dinner, and was 
 glad to welcome dear Mamma and one of the 
 sisters-in-law, who came in just as the dessert 
 was finished.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 AN EVENING'S EXPERIENCE. 
 
 A WHOLE week at housekeeping, and with 
 an experience which had some variety in it, 
 found the Honeydews, the next Sunday 
 morning, after their breakfast, in a peculiarly 
 chaotic state of mind. So well had matters 
 progressed since their outset, that Marian felt 
 herself already to be a pattern for all young 
 housekeepers. Several of the defects in their 
 establishment had been remedied during her 
 seven days of superintendence ; dear Mamma 
 had been almost omnipresent, and it became 
 a vexed question with Harry whether she or 
 Marian ran the household, while the assertion 
 
 
 
 of her certain and indisputable rights in the 
 kitchen had made a breach between the neat 
 and tidy Ellen and the dear good lady, who 
 had reared Marian from infancy to woman 
 hood, and still deemed it a duty to hold sur-
 
 FAULT-FINDING. 83 
 
 veillance over her domestic arrangements. 
 Already there were the signs of a coming 
 storm ; the mercury in their household baro 
 meter had alternately risen and fallen, till the 
 state of the weather within doors became 
 very uncertain. 
 
 Ellen, who claimed to know all that was 
 necessary in her department, thought she 
 knew enough for Mrs. Honeydew, but was 
 quite deficient in many things, when weighed 
 by the scale of knowledge adopted by dear 
 Mamma ; and so, Ellen had already com 
 menced to find fault. 
 
 She found fault with the range ; she found 
 fault with the meat sent home from the 
 butcher's ; she had not the necessary amount 
 of kitchen utensils at hand to work with ; 
 there were too many dishes, required at din 
 ner, and there was too much company. She 
 had agreed, she said, to cook for Mr. and 
 Mrs. Honeydew, but she had not agreed to 
 cook and serve victuals for four or five others ; 
 and poor little Marian tired her dainty feet 
 more than once during the day, running up 
 and down stairs, because Ellen would not
 
 84 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 answer her through the speaking-tube, and 
 had actually stopped up the end of the tube 
 with paper, so as to be unable to hear the 
 signals which she did not intend to answer. 
 
 In one short week there had been a theo 
 retical change of position. Ellen looked to 
 Mrs. Honey dew for wages, but evidently not 
 for orders, and when a telegram came from 
 down town, on Saturday afternoon, stating 
 that Tom Delivery, one of his fellow-brokers, 
 was coming up with Harry to spend Sunday, 
 Marian had a good crying-spell in her own 
 pretty room, and laid her dear little head, 
 brown hair and all, upon the white marble 
 top of the cheval-glass bureau, in silent agony. 
 
 Her eyes were red, and her face looked 
 haggard and careworn, as the gentlemen came 
 home. The pretty dress which she wore was 
 becoming, and her hair turned back from her 
 forehead, with the bow of blue ribbon on the 
 left side, was simple and pretty ; but there 
 was a world of silent sorrow in her looks, 
 and the smile with which she greeted her 
 husband was a forced one. 
 
 The remembrance that she had suggested
 
 ANXIETY. 85 
 
 the change, that she had engineered the 
 house-taking and the experiment, was suffi 
 cient in itself to support her pride, and she 
 welcomed her guests, despite the war which 
 was waging in the kitchen, and put the 
 " Mumm's Extra Dry " upon the ice with her 
 own hands, even with the uncertainty staring 
 her in the face, of how the dinner might be 
 sent upstairs. 
 
 " Ye '11 not do this much longer, ma'am, I '11 
 be sworn," said Ellen, as the orders were 
 given what to cook, and at what time to serve 
 the dinner ; " there 's no rest for a hard- 
 workin' girl, anyhow !" 
 
 Marian trembled with anxiety when the 
 dishes were sent up, and there were several 
 mistakes in giving out the sugar, while she 
 watched the form of the indignant Ellen mov 
 ing around the table, and there was a sigh of 
 relief when the dessert had been finished, and 
 the three had adjourned to the reception- 
 room. 
 
 It was a gala-night at one of the theatres, the 
 grandest night of a Shakspearian revival, and 
 Tom Delivery proposed that they should go.
 
 86 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Glad as she would have been, under ordi 
 nary circumstances, Mrs. Honeydew trembled 
 at the prospect of going, and yet dared not 
 refuse. It was a pleasant evening Saturday ; 
 they could have a late breakfast on Sunday, 
 and neither Tom nor Harry would take " no " 
 for an answer ; so she surveyed the battle 
 ground in the kitchen, found Ellen washing 
 up her dishes, and they left her in charge 
 of the house, her face a little red, perhaps 
 from crying, and still busy with her work. 
 
 How they all enjoyed the play, how there 
 was a snug half-bottle at Delmonico's, and 
 how pleasant the City looked as they went 
 home, were matters of little importance ; but, 
 to find the vestibule-door locked when they 
 arrived home, was not such an insignificant 
 thing, by any sort of reckoning. 
 
 In vain Harry tried his latch-key ; the door 
 was secucely fastened upon the inside, the 
 bolts shot, the window as securely fastened 
 as the door, and the lights were burning in 
 the hall, and casting their reflection, through 
 the open door, into the reception-room. 
 
 " Locked out, old fellow, by Jove !" said
 
 LOCKED OUT. 8/ 
 
 Tom Delivery, laughing ; " better try the 
 bell." 
 
 Harry Honeydew tried it, and at the second 
 pull at the handle, he sent the echoes ringing 
 through the house from garret to cellar. 
 
 But no answer came. Whether the girl 
 had gone out or not, was a complete mystery, 
 and the whole appearance of matters at No. 
 East Street began to be serious. 
 
 Tom rapped upon the door with his cane, 
 and pulled at the knob, while Harry climbed 
 over the side of the stoop, and tried the win 
 dow, and Marian Honeydew began to grow 
 commendably nervous. 
 
 A policeman, upon a neighboring beat, 
 heard the noise, and came leisurely down the 
 street, to interview the locked-out party. He 
 pulled at the door, and rapped upon it with 
 his club, which aroused the neighbors ; and 
 at the modest hour of one o'clock on Sunday 
 morning, in the moonlight, there was a party 
 of four arranged upon the front stoop, like 
 four lads about playing leap-frog, the police 
 man ahead, scooping down with his eye to 
 the keyhole.
 
 88 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Harry, losing his good -nature, uttered a 
 mild oath. 
 
 Tom Delivery, jolly and fun-loving from 
 the Delmonico wine, and disposed to make 
 merry of his friend's predicament, twitted 
 Marian upon her servants, and proposed to 
 force an entrance. 
 
 The policeman examined the lower door, 
 found it fast, saw the lights shining in Mr. 
 Honeyclew's room upstairs, and whispered, 
 in a loud aside to Harry, just as several 
 night-capped and uncapped heads appeared 
 at adjacent windows, and inquisitive faces 
 were discernible in the moonlight: 
 
 " Burglars, sir, burglars ; they 're cracking 
 places lively, around here, this month !" 
 
 Harry had no time to quench the anti-bur 
 glarious ardor of that policeman. The man 
 began a second sentence with the word " Bur 
 glar " standing in a threatening attitude, 
 and preparing to break in a panel of the 
 outer door. 
 
 Poor little Marian ! Already wrought up 
 to their highest tension, her nerves gave way, 
 and as the last word uttered by the policeman
 
 PATIENCE AND WINDOW-PANES. 89 
 
 fell upon her anxious ears, she-felt a sudden 
 giddiness, reeled, and sank fainting into the 
 arms of Mr. Tom Delivery, who was standing 
 behind her, in the leap-frog order of posi 
 tion. 
 
 " Hold on, officer ! Don't smash that door ! 
 Do n't you see, my wife has fainted ?" shouted 
 Honey dew, laying his hand upon the arm of 
 the intrusive guardian of the City's peace, 
 and the property of the citizens in East - 
 Street especially. 
 
 But the policeman had no milk of human 
 kindness flowing in his heart, or in hi? 
 nature particularly towards newly married 
 ladies, who went out o' nights, and left their 
 houses to the care of servants. He reached 
 over to the window of the reception-room, 
 and crash went the end of his bdton through 
 the pane ; he then sprang over to the sill, 
 put his hand inside, and sprung the patent 
 fastening at the top. 
 
 This was too much for Tom Delivery. He 
 had already given the fainting Marian over 
 to her husband's arms, and when he saw the 
 evident intention of the officer to effect a for-
 
 90 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 cible entrance; and " go through the house," 
 he determined not to follow, but to precede 
 him. 
 
 The numerous windows in the vicinity 
 which were sent up with a bang, the several 
 heads which were exhibited at the several 
 windows, looked painfully ludicrous to Mr. 
 Harry Honeydew, who held his wife in his 
 arms, and was busy in making hurried ex 
 planations to the neighbors, while his friend 
 Tom was crawling into the reception-room, 
 and a moment after, having unlocked the ves 
 tibule and outer doors and admitted the 
 policeman, assisted Harry to carry his faint 
 ing wife up the stone steps. 
 
 But what of the policeman ? That man 
 earned promotion for his daring, certainly ! 
 There wasn't a sign of a burglar. Every 
 thing was just as they had left it, even to 
 some of the dishes on the dining-room table, 
 though the tea-spoons were scattered along 
 the floor, from the table to the dumb-waiter, 
 and the castor had been upset, so that the 
 sweet o*il and the vinegar, on the most friendly 
 terms with each other, had traveled down to
 
 A BRILLIANT DINING-ROOM. 91 
 
 the new carpet by parallel lines, over the 
 satin-damask table-cloth. 
 
 The gas-lights over the dining-room table 
 were blazing up beyond the globes, there 
 was an excellent head of gas on, for it was 
 late (or rather, early Sunday morning), and 
 Harry laid his wife down upon the sofa in the 
 reception-room, and Tom assisted him in 
 " bringing her to," with the aid of ice-water, 
 cologne-water, and friction ; while the ener 
 getic policeman started upstairs, and they 
 could hear him stamping about upon the floor 
 above them, and banging the bed-room doors, 
 as though it were necessary to make the most 
 noise possible, to give notice to any concealed 
 housebreaker of his intended capture. 
 
 Dear little Mrs. Honeydew opened her 
 pretty dark eyes, and started, visibly, as she 
 saw Harry bending over her, and Tom De 
 livery, with the cologne-water all over the 
 facing of his light overcoat, down on his knees 
 beside her, and with the woman's usual cor 
 rectness in such cases, she began to ask all 
 sorts of questions, with " Where am I ?" 
 
 A few words of explanation, only a few,
 
 92 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 and Mr. Harry Honeydew evinced an anxiety 
 about the anti-burglarious policeman, who was, 
 by this time, suspiciously quiet. 
 
 He said nothing to Tom that might alarm 
 his wife, he merely nodded in a knowing 
 manner, at which Tom darted upstairs, into 
 one room, and out again, and so on to the 
 top floor. 
 
 And how, Tom Delivery had his own fun, 
 uproarious though it was, for the moment, 
 but, fortunately, not audible to Marian's sen 
 sitive ears. 
 
 There were two persons in one of the up 
 stairs back rooms the policeman, in uniform, 
 and the neat, tidy girl, Ellen, in a not alto 
 gether presentable condition. She had been 
 lying upon her bed in a half stupid lethargy, 
 while a tray partly filled with glass-ware, 
 which, for some unexplained reason, she had 
 carried away up to the third story, was upon 
 the floor, the new monogram goblets broken, 
 and the wine-glasses, each one stemless and 
 shattered. 
 
 " Go out o' this, ye dirthy beast iv a man, 
 ye !" was the salute which Ellen gave to Mr.
 
 " MARTELL 1840." 93 
 
 Tom Delivery, as he thrust his head into the 
 room, dodging a blow from a heavy brogan 
 thrown at him. 
 
 The energetic policeman was silent and 
 contemplative. 
 
 Ellen was seated upon the bed, partly un 
 dressed, and, in a most blissful state of semi- 
 intoxication, while the energetic policeman 
 stood beside her, not in so threatening an 
 attitude as he had assumed upon the front 
 stoop a few moments before. 
 
 She had evidently indulged in the liquor 
 during the early part of the evening, as a 
 partly emptied bottle of " Martell 1840" 
 clearly betrayed, and had, in her drunken 
 stupidity, played havoc with the glass-ware, 
 and severely damaged the table-cloth and car 
 pet. 
 
 The new discovery about the new girl was 
 broken to Mrs. Honeydew in the most delicate 
 terms. Ellen was allowed to go to bed quiet 
 ly, after having thrown a hair brush, and 
 part of a pitcher of water at Tom .Deliv 
 ery, and after having threatened to annihi 
 late dear Mamma, if dear Mamma would
 
 94 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 only be good enough to allow herself to be 
 caught. 
 
 The energetic policeman was given a couple 
 of good drinks from that " Martell 1840" 
 bottle, a good cigar, and an hour later there 
 was quiet in the household, even in the third 
 story back room, where Ellen reposed in 
 peaceful slumber.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 MR. HONEYDEW SETTLES A DIFFICULTY. 
 
 WAS it Sunday morning, or was it not? 
 was the silent question which Harry Honey- 
 dew asked himself, late in the day, for the 
 events of the evening had drawn the veil 
 from the picture of his suddenly-acquired 
 household experience, and Marian had roused 
 him from his slumbers tired, sleepy, and 
 vexed as he was by lying sobbing on his left 
 shoulder. 
 
 He kissed her, lovingly, to be sure ; but 
 with the kiss there was just a little shadow of 
 doubt, and so he asked the very pertinent 
 question of Marian, what was to be done 
 about breakfast, and placed his ear to the 
 speaking-tube. Whether the paper had been 
 removed from it, or whether his strong blast 
 of breath down its full length, with all 
 the power of his lungs, had cleared the 
 
 (95)
 
 96 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 tube, there certainly was a faint noise from 
 below. 
 
 " Ellen !" 
 
 This tirne the summons was from the mas 
 ter of the house himself, and it was sounded 
 with an air of decidedly actual, and not con 
 structive or doubtful, authority. 
 
 " Yis, surf came sounding up through 
 the tube, sufficiently loud for Marian to hear, 
 as she was lyin& with her eyes half closed, 
 and the eyelids red, from crying. 
 
 " Are you getting breakfast ready ?" 
 
 " Yis, sur/" 
 
 " That 's good news, darling ; come, get 
 tip !" 
 
 No more was said by either of the two, 
 until both were dressed, and then, down 
 stairs to the library they went, to find their 
 friend Tom nicely seated in the big chair, 
 poring over the morning papers, with one 
 eye on the glass door which shut off the din 
 ing-room. 
 
 There was a shadow-pantomime being en 
 acted behind the ground-glass panes. Ellen 
 was the only figure in the exhibition ; but
 
 THAT BREAKFAST. 97 
 
 Ellen's shadow was unsteady. A second fig 
 ure was soon added to the picture, that of 
 Mrs. Honey dew, and then the two figures 
 vanished, and the lady of the house called the 
 gentlemen in to a breakfast of which Marian 
 was heartily ashamed, the beefsteak being 
 burned to a crisp, the eggs watery, and what 
 was intended to be pommes de terre & la Lyon- 
 naise, being nothing less than a mixture of poor 
 ly cooked potatoes, and about as much onion as 
 there was of potato in the general composi 
 tion. 
 
 There was a silent meal, and at its close, 
 with a face expressing more of sorrow than of 
 despair, Marian remained seated at the table, 
 while Harry and Tom went off to the library, 
 and then Marian went to the kitchen. 
 
 There was a lapse of only a few moments, 
 but to Harry Honey dew they were like the 
 prologue to a sensation drama, to which drama, 
 he had not the least doubt, was then being giv 
 en a dress rehearsal in the apartment below. 
 
 "Harry " 
 
 "Tom " 
 
 The two gentlemen were looking at each 
 5
 
 98 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 other through the smoke wreaths from their 
 cigars, and Tom Delivery was smiling at 
 Harry Honeydew, with a smile which recalled 
 some of the pleasant hours of his bachelor 
 days, when they smoked together in Harry's 
 bachelor apartments at home, and the cares 
 of the household were upon his mother's 
 shoulders, and not upon his. 
 
 " Things are mixed, I take it, old fellow, 
 but never mind these things will happen, 
 you know." 
 
 " Yes, but it 's infernally annoying, and this 
 'jewel of a girl,' is one of my respected mother- 
 in-law's selection that is, she bosses the job, 
 and Marian, bless her dear little heart, 
 submits." 
 
 Just at this moment, there was a suddenly- 
 conceived example of that submission ; there 
 was the sound of hurried feet in the hall, and 
 into the room her face white with indigna 
 tion rushed the lady whose dear little heart 
 was so fervently blessed, and after her, the 
 girl, with her face about as red as a toy bal 
 loon, in an indefinite state of semi-faded col 
 lapse.
 
 MISS O'CONNOR INDIGNANT. 99 
 
 " I tell ye, ma'am, I won't stand it, an' that 's 
 all about it, but ye '11 pay me for the month, 
 ye will. I know my business ma'am, and I '11 
 teach ye yours Fll teach ye yours I 'LL TEACH 
 YE YOURS, I WILL ! " 
 
 The emphasis of italics and " small caps " 
 will not serve to convey an idea of the vehe 
 ment expression which Ellen O'Connor, the 
 neat, tidy girl, gave to her words. 
 
 She looked formidable, as she stood in the 
 hall, with the sleeve upon her left arm rolled 
 up about the elbow, and her hands being hur 
 riedly wiped upon her apron. 
 
 " Why, Marian, pet what is all this row 
 what has this brute of a girl been doing?" 
 asked Harry, as he received the frightened 
 form of his wife in his arms, and held her from 
 the infuriated lady from below stairs. 
 
 " Brute is it brute is it, ye beast ye ! " re 
 torted Miss Ellen O'Connor, shaking her fist 
 before Mr. Harry Honeydew's face, but at a 
 safe and respectful distance ; " I '11 teach ye to 
 call an honest workin' woman out of her name 
 1 will ! Ye 'd bctther get a wife what knows 
 something, before ye talk to the loikes o' me.
 
 IOO THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 I 'm going, d' ye hear ? I 'm goin', an' I want 
 my wages ! " 
 
 ' Twas Sunday morning, and just after break 
 fast ; but even the remembrance of the day 
 the hour, his wife, Tom Delivery, and all the 
 circumstances, did not prevent Harry from 
 making a quick reply. 
 
 Miss Ellen O'Connor had spoken dispar 
 agingly of his wife, and with anger upon his 
 handsome countenance, Harry retorted : 
 
 " D n you, and your wages ! You want 
 to go, and you shall ! Here, Tom, take care 
 of Marian ; I '11 settle with this young woman, 
 and then I '11 settle her ! " 
 
 It was different from any of the difficulties 
 which Harry Honeydew had experienced ; 
 he knew how to squirm out of a difficulty in 
 Wall street ; he could see his way through a 
 corner in North Western, or a flurry in Rock 
 Island ; but, when it came to dealing with an 
 Irish servant-girl, who had been making free 
 with his best Martell brandy, he was hardly 
 up to the occasion. 
 
 Still, he had work to do, and must do it; 
 he stopped Ellen O'Connor's volubility by a
 
 A SERVANT LESS. IOI 
 
 peremptory order to hold her tongue, called 
 her upstairs into his room, refused to hear 
 any recital of the whys and wherefores, and 
 paid her off in full for the whole month's ser 
 vice, into which she was not yet a full week 
 advanced. , 
 
 Bag, baggage, and bandboxes, on that 
 bright Sunday morning, with her best dress, 
 just " done up," with a plentiful allowance of 
 Glencove starch in the stiffening, she went 
 out on the sidewalk, slamming the door after 
 her ; and Harry Honeydew relighted his 
 cigar in the library, Marian hid her face in 
 her hands and had a pretty effective crying- 
 spell, and Tom Delivery whistled. 
 
 After all, the difficulty which had culmi 
 nated in the dismissal of Cook Number One was 
 not such a desperate matter. The effect upon 
 Marian had been to leave Harry and Tom to 
 enjoy their serenity of mind and talk over the 
 result of the evening's incidents, while she 
 quickly rode down to dear Mamma's, and 
 came back home reinforced by one of her sis 
 ters, who claimed to know something about
 
 IO2 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 getting up a dinner. The accident of having 
 a friend to spend Sunday with them had 
 placed little Mrs. Honeydew upon her mettle ; 
 she found that, while she knew something 
 about cooking in the theory, she was deficient 
 in the practice, and after an advice with dear 
 Mamma, had taken her sister Annie up to 
 the house with her, and the two household 
 beauties went to work in the kitchen, banish 
 ing the gentlemen to the rest of the house 
 until dinner should be set a-cooking. 
 
 To have seen the peeling of the potatoes, 
 and the washing of celery, and the preparing 
 of a certain piece of veal, which they proposed 
 to stuff and roast, would have been as good as 
 the making of a trick-dinner in a Ravel panto 
 mime revived. What little either of the girls 
 knew of cooking was fully developed and re 
 quired. The vegetables were fairly done at 
 the beginning, but being compelled to wait 
 upon the meat which had been placed in an 
 oven with every damper which turned the 
 heat into the oven fully reversed the vegeta 
 bles became soggy, tasteless and watery, and 
 the meat would n 't get brown, and would look
 
 AN AFFECTIONATE INQUIRY. 103 
 
 as though it had been hung out in the rain 
 upon the exposed side of an outhouse, until 
 after four o' clock. 
 
 " Dear?" said Harry, from the head of the 
 stairway. 
 
 " Darling," replied Mrs. Honeydew from 
 below, for they had a better right now to be 
 affectionate, and Marian had more reason 
 to desire an exhibition of affection: "What 
 is it?" 
 
 " Dinner, darling, if you please." 
 
 But the lady addressed in such words of en 
 dearment did not happen to please, and so the 
 boys were summoned to the kitchen ; Harry 
 trifled with the dampers, Tom flirted with 
 bright- faced Annie, and nearly spilled over 
 the turnips and the sauce which had been 
 made for the pudding. Mrs. Honeydew 
 conceded that she was clearly nonplussed at 
 the housekeeping enigma, and they finally 
 sat down to potatoes (soggy), turnips (wa 
 tery), beefsteak (very crisp and very smoky), 
 a pudding (too sweet by half), sauce (ver^ 
 stiff in good old sherry), and tea (just about 
 right).
 
 IO4 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Shall we say, in trutk, that Marian was glad 
 the day was over ? 
 
 Shall we say that Harry had determined to 
 try his hand at servant-hunting the next day, 
 and provide both cook and waitress ? 
 
 Shall we say that Mr. Thomas Delivery in 
 wardly congratulated himself that he was some 
 months off from the fulfillment of his engage 
 ment with Emma Coupon, the presumptive 
 heiress of West street ? 
 
 Shall we say that Mr. and Mrs. Honeydew 
 earned the meals, (such as they were,) that 
 they had eaten ? 
 
 All four queries may be answered in a few 
 words ; Harry Honeydew had decided to 
 choose for himself, and had ordered an early 
 breakfast from a restaurant.
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 A RAY OF SUNSHINE. 
 
 " IT 's rather a bad mornin', sir, to 'ave a 
 good hexibition, sir ; they does n't hall come 
 here a Monday ; " was the suggestion of a 
 ruddy-faced Englishman, counting out the 
 change from a five dollar bill, and handing 
 Harry Honeydew a printed ticket, on which, 
 in a blank space, his name had been filled up, 
 and on the obverse side of the ticket THE 
 BEARER was guaranteed the choice of THE 
 OFFICE, for three months. 
 
 The balmy Briton with the close-cut whis 
 kers, the plaid neck-tie, and the little round- 
 topped hat, was the chief of the Bureau 
 which undertook to provide servants well- 
 recommended, and Honeydew had briefly 
 stated his wants as follows : a cook, who knew 
 her business ; a waitress and chamber-maid, 
 who knew one dish from the other. 
 5*
 
 106 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 The office was not full, and the applicants, 
 seated in a row on either side of the room, 
 looked at him as a "green un," while he look 
 ed at them. 
 
 " Maggie Murphy !" said the proprietor, in^ 
 a tone of supreme authority. 
 
 And Maggie Murphy came forward. She 
 was a bright-looking girl, neatly dressed, and 
 did not wear a green bow at her neck, nor 
 had she a crimson ribbon on her hat. 
 
 Maggie Murphy claimed to know how to 
 cook ; she had a handful of recommendations 
 which she handed to Harry, which he did not 
 read ; and stated that her reason for leaving 
 her last place was, that the family had " gone 
 into the country." Harry thought, mean 
 while, that " the country," must be a self-ap 
 pointed Paradise for the fatigued housewives 
 of New York. She could wash and iron, had 
 no objection to a young mistress ; had no 
 doubt she would suit the lady, if the lady 
 would suit her ; she did not ask about station 
 ary tubs, and where the coal was kept ; and 
 so, Maggie Murphy was engaged and de 
 parted from the office with all her worldly
 
 MAGGIE MURPHY. IO/ 
 
 goods in a small brown-paper bundle, tied 
 with a piece of white tape, the full name and 
 direction of Mrs. Honeydew's residence upon 
 a card, and the money for her car fare, in her 
 left hand, her right being occupied with her 
 bundle (and a parasol). 
 
 The attentive Englishman was very polite ; 
 he would send up a waitress by one o'clock, 
 and knew just what Mrs. Honeydew wanted, 
 and he knew where to send for a girl who 
 had lived out with people with whom he was 
 acquainted ; so Harry paid another dollar- 
 and-a-half for a choice of chambermaids, and 
 went down town rejoicing, to send a note up 
 to Marian, stating what- he had done, and 
 mildly suggesting that if dear Marnma were 
 left out of the question entirely, the result 
 might be more satisfactory. 
 
 There need be no discription of Miss Mag 
 gie Murphy's arrival at the house up town. 
 Mrs. Honeydew was waiting for her, and so 
 was dear Mamma. The receipt of Harry's 
 note had so severely commenced the lesson 
 of matrimonial obedience, that Marian trem 
 bled in her dainty little one-and-a-half "sized
 
 108 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE. PERIOD. 
 
 slippers at the evident conflict between connu 
 bial and parental authority which was im 
 pending. 
 
 :-. The circumstances of the day before had 
 aroused in the highly accomplished mother-in- 
 law, all her latent anxiety for the success of 
 the experiment which she had devised. She 
 was keen to a sense of just what her opportu 
 nity was, and had no idea of losing it. 
 
 Judge of her surprise then, when Miss Mag 
 gie Murphy came into the reception-room, 
 and she was accosted by Marian in a ladylike 
 and decided manner, and told, in polite words, 
 to lay aside her bundle upon a chair in the 
 hallway, and to come back to the reception- 
 room, to be interviewed. 
 
 Dear Mamma, in all the glory of a bonnet 
 trimmed with an ostrich feather, rather young, 
 for her age -but then, dear Mamma affected 
 the youthful seated herself at the table, and 
 prepared to conduct the necessary examina 
 tion. 
 
 " Veil, you are the new cook ?" began the 
 lady, with the slightest German accent, and 
 in a" tone which was evidently intended to
 
 DEAR MAMMA SURPRISED. 109 
 
 impress Miss Murphy with a distinct idea of 
 her importance as one of the governing pow 
 ers in Mrs. Honeydew's household. 
 
 " If you please, mother " suggested Ma 
 rian, her face just a little highly colored, " I 
 will attend to this !" 
 
 Dear Mamma started, grew two shades 
 paler in complexion, placed her gloved hands 
 in a favorite position across her stomach, and 
 looked at Marian. 
 
 " What does this mean, my child ?" she 
 asked, when partly recovered from her sur 
 prise. 
 
 " Simply this, mother, if I am to control 
 my house, I will engage my servants." 
 
 The dear good lady with the ostrich feather 
 and the youthful bonnet did not stop to con 
 sider that the new girl would be a witness to 
 her outburst of parental indignation at dis 
 puted authority. Neither did she care. Hon 
 esty towards the reader compels this acknowl 
 edgement. The lines of her character were 
 forcibly drawn, and the peculiarly strong 
 temperament with which -she was unfortunate 
 ly equipped, gave her no control over her tern-
 
 IIO THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 per, which was a fact well-known to Harry 
 Honeydew. 
 
 In a concise explanation, it may be fairly 
 understood that he had married Marian, but 
 had no intention of taking upon his shoulders 
 the responsibility of submission to her moth 
 er's imperious dictation. 
 
 It was a struggle for Marian Honeydew ; 
 she loved her husband dearly, she knew that 
 he loved her, and the few words written in 
 his hurried note were more in the way oi 
 plain language than he had ever spoken, much 
 less written, to her. 
 
 The coming storm startled the quiet, inof 
 fensive girl, and her face changed color, wkile 
 she grasped her parasol with a hold which be 
 trayed an agitation that frightened Marian, and 
 she looked beseechingly at the new servant. 
 
 There was but one glance between them ; 
 from that moment they understood each other 
 perfectly, notwithstanding the language of 
 the elderly lady with the ostrich feather on 
 her bonnet, who by this time had worked her 
 self up into a German-American temper, and 
 burst into a torrent of words which would
 
 A JUST DISTINCTION. Ill 
 
 have swamped poor little Marian under or 
 dinary circumstances at home. 
 
 Dear Mamma accused her daughter of in- 
 competency in housekeeping ; Marian held her 
 responsible for the incompetency ; the fault 
 was laid at the proper threshold, and the el 
 derly lady tried to shirk the responsibility. 
 Then came the question of filial obedience, to 
 which Marian tearfully replied, that in a choice 
 between Mr. Harry Honeydew as her husband, 
 and Mrs. Johanna Weatherby as her mother, 
 the gentleman who was expected to pay the 
 bills had the right to the preference. 
 
 This finished the argument, relieved Ma 
 rian and sent dear "Mamma out of the recep 
 tion-room, down the stone steps, off to the 
 corner, into a street car, and away home to 
 that brown-stone-front house from which her 
 daughter had emerged as a bride, a few 
 months before, with her trunk on the outside 
 of the carriage, and Harry Honeydew inside, 
 as the man whom she had chosen to " love, 
 honor and obey." 
 
 As for Marian, she found relief in the tears 
 which are always a woman's refuge in her
 
 112 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 hour of trouble, and which in the present in 
 stance enabled the newly-hired domestic to 
 come to her assistance. 
 
 " Do n't worry yerself, my darlin' lady the 
 ould woman 's a haythen, that she is there, 
 now ! " 
 
 The kind-hearted girl' caught her in her 
 arms and raised her drooping head from the 
 sofa, in such a manner that Marian could not 
 chide her for the presumptive familiarity ; so 
 she merely asked her name, and dried the 
 tears which betrayed her own weakness. 
 
 " My name, ma'am 's Maggie Maggie Mur 
 phy I saw yer husband this morning, an' a 
 fine, nice sort iv a gintleman, Misther Honey- 
 sucker is, to be sure." 
 
 " Honeydew, Maggie not Honeysucker," 
 corrected Marian, quite unable to suppress a 
 smile at the girl's pardonable mistake. 
 
 " Honeydew, or Honeysuckle, ma 'am, it 's 
 all the same ; it 's little difference, when the 
 heart 's not gone out visitin '." 
 
 Pathos and humor were in these words of 
 honest Maggie Murphy, and Marian and she 
 became -better friends as they went down to
 
 INSPECTION. 1 1 3 
 
 the kitchen to take a look at the establishment, 
 of which Marian, from this time forward, pro 
 posed to be the ostensible and the acting 
 mistress, and in which there seemed, at last, to 
 be a ray of sunshine for the little dark-eyed 
 lady. 
 
 Early in the afternoon, the waitress came, 
 with another assortment of clothing, contain 
 ed in a newspaper bundle, and a band-box. 
 She had no parasol, but a light pea-green hat, 
 which had a pink ribbon on it. She was not 
 unhandsome, and as such, would have been 
 the first choice of Mr. Harry Honeydew, 
 without scrutinizing the recommendations 
 which she brought. 
 
 Professing well, she set out the table, under 
 Marian's direction, and things looked promis 
 ing for a new beginning. 
 
 There were no tears in Marian's eyes at five 
 o'clock that afternoon. It was June, and the 
 air was balmy as it blew through the window, 
 
 which the warm sunshine enabled her to leave 
 
 . 
 
 open, and she ran out to the door-step to meet 
 her husband, when she saw him spring from 
 the platform of the street-car at the corner.
 
 114 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 A sigh of relief from Marian the usual 
 triplicate of kisses and in less than half an 
 hour they sat down to a well-cooked, nicely- 
 served dinner. 
 
 Nicely served, so far as the cooking was 
 concerned, but stupidly served, so far as the 
 waitress was implicated. The new up-stairs 
 young lady wa's pretty. She was well-dress 
 ed, and her hair was frizzed in front wavy, 
 brown hair which crimped nicely and she 
 looked neat and prepossessing : that was all. 
 She stumbled with the soup, handed a tea 
 spoon to Harry to eat it with, and spilled the 
 ice-water on the dining-room carpet as she 
 filled the goblets. 
 
 When Marian wanted the sauce, she stared 
 at her with an almost idiotic smile, and did 
 not know whether the Worcestershire was in 
 the cruet in the castor, or in the bottle with 
 the " Lea and Perrins' " label. 
 
 " You may take the dishes, Sarah," said 
 Marian, when the % change to dessert was 
 ready and away went Sarah from the room, 
 evidently for a waiter. 
 
 Five minutes or more elapsed, and there
 
 HARRY'S SELECTION. 115 
 
 was a hollow, ringing sound at the door, "and 
 then Sarah came in ; her sleeves were rolled 
 up, she had a clean dish-towel slung over her 
 shoulder, and in her hand she had a clean, 
 bright, dish-pan, in which she proposed to 
 carry off" the dishes and the vegetables but 
 how the meat, remained an unsolved problem. 
 
 " Your girl, this time, Harry," said Marian, 
 in a quiet drive at his choice " will she do ?" 
 
 " No, not for the country, by a big calcula 
 tion ! " 
 
 Marian corrected the girl, even assisted her 
 to put the dishes on the dumb - waiter, 
 placed the dessert on the table herself, and 
 asked Maggie Murphy to come up stairs ; 
 which Maggie did, good - naturedly, but 
 rather voluble in incidental conversation 
 so the meal was a partial success. 
 
 The mention of the country had raised a 
 question which Harry Honeydew soon an 
 swered. 
 
 He acknowledged his carelessness in allow 
 ing the Englishman down town to send up a 
 waitress whom he had not himself seen, and a 
 change was at once agreed upon ; so Marian
 
 Il6 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 took the ticket for the office, to go down next 
 day and make her own selection. 
 
 The history of the scene in the reception- 
 room was all told over. It was a hard task 
 for Marian to tell it ; but it came, and with it 
 came kinder words from Harry, than even 
 she would have expected. 
 
 He was happy the thraldom in which he 
 had been held during a two-years' courtship, 
 which had developed itself unpleasantly in 
 his married life of only a few months' dura 
 tion, had been overcome, and then and there 
 he proposed the plan of hiring a Long 
 Branch Cottage for the season, and an agree 
 ment was entered into by Maggie Murphy to 
 " go into the country."
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A CHANGE OF SCENE. 
 
 THE " Bouquet of Artists," who, for a 
 month following the discharge of the " com 
 petent waitress," enlivened the' dining-room 
 and household of Mr and Mrs. Honeydew, 
 offered a variety which had several charac 
 teristics. Description would be tedious, if 
 the details of acquiring experience were given 
 in full. The " experiments " for such were 
 the ladies employed, and not servants may 
 be summed up or catalogued about as follows : 
 
 NORA McSHANE, Irish, aged twenty-two; 
 this young lady, possessed of many 
 qualifications, according to her recom 
 mendations, was afflicted with a preva 
 lent disease raging in the neighborhood 
 flirtation. Not unhandsome ; after 
 the third day, she became enamored
 
 Il8 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 of the grocer's boy, who brought the 
 vegetables ;- and on the fourth day, pre 
 pared a plan for a supper-party, to be 
 held in the reception-room, on the first 
 convenient occasion ; on the sixth day, 
 the cook being out and Mr. and Mrs. 
 Honeydew away from home, the party 
 was held, and during the " entertain 
 ment," several dishes and one cut-glass 
 decanter were broken, Miss McShane 
 refused to pay for the broken glass 
 ware, and was discharged at once. 
 
 ANNIE GILMARTIN, Irish, aged nineteen; 
 bright-faced and willing, well recom 
 mended, " wanted a good home," very 
 stupid, and was taken sick after a 
 week's service, and went home to her 
 sister's. 
 
 TERESA VoN-ScHOP, German, aged thirty ; 
 well acquainted with the German lan 
 guage, but deficient in English ; knew 
 nothing of waiting on table, and could 
 not agree with Maggie Murphy. 
 
 EMMA McKEE, Scotch, age indefinite ; could 
 not endure the presence of the cook ; 
 sang Scotch airs in a staccato voice
 
 THE CATALOGUE. 1 19 
 
 while at work washing dishes, and was 
 decidedly unpleasant in manner and 
 voice to Mr. Honeydew. 
 
 MARY ANN FEENEY, Irish, aged twenty-five ; 
 just come from Ireland, landed at Cas 
 tle Garden ; good recommendations for 
 honesty from the Emigration Bureau ; 
 wages twelve dollars instead of four 
 teen ; knew nothing of New York, ex 
 cept by hearsay ; was freshly imported 
 from County Sligo ; liked the appear 
 ance of both Maggie Murphy and Mrs. 
 Heneydew ; had no baggage but a 
 bundle and was willing to go into the 
 country ; no relations but one cousin 
 " out west," to whom she had written, 
 on arrival. 
 
 Despite the failures of the successive but 
 unsuccessful young ladies, the kindly face of 
 Maggie Murphy still held its place in the 
 Honeydew household. Her cooking, to be 
 sure, was not extravagantly good, but what 
 she did know was rudimentary and practical, 
 and she was always good-natured, so much 
 so, that, not unfrcquently, she gave advice to
 
 120 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Marian which was beneficial, and as she had 
 few friends in the City, was seldom out at 
 nights, and not always on Sundays. 
 
 From the day upon which she was engaged, 
 when the scene with dear Mamma culminated 
 in that lady's sudden exit from the house, 
 until the month had worn away, there was a 
 truly honest friendship between Maggie Mur 
 phy and her mistress. 
 
 The plan for a seaside cottage, mentioned by 
 the Honeydews just after they had settled in 
 their new home, had come to be a certainty. 
 Fred Margin, the senior partner of the stock 
 brokers' firm they were all young men, clerk- 
 graduates of the Gold Room was addicted to 
 Long Branch. He had successfully ventilated 
 himself at the seaside for the last five years 
 he had done the " Continental " in its various 
 changes of owners, had patronized the " Man 
 sion " in its palmy days, and had been quar 
 tered at the " West End," at its first season ; 
 so he was " up " on the prospect, and had 
 decided to occupy a cottage there, in which 
 Harry and his wife should do the housekeep 
 ing, and he would pay his share on the coop-
 
 CONSIDERING. 121 
 
 erative principle, without the responsibility 
 of the success of the undertaking. 
 
 It was a nice arrangement, as proposed : 
 given, a neat cottage, convenient to the depot, 
 containing nine rooms; also a stable, in which 
 Harry and he could keep a team of horses 
 Fred owned one good stepper, and Harry 
 could buy a mate to him the house already 
 furnished, and they could keep the thing go 
 ing like a colony of contented housekeepers. 
 
 " Cheaper than the hotel, you know ; and, 
 besides, Livingston Speculate can 't make up 
 that short margin on Pacific, and we may as 
 well help him out by taking the cottage and 
 allowing him the rent for it." 
 
 This was the argument used in the conver 
 sation which took place in the private back 
 office of the partners, when the chance of 
 getting any money from several " lame ducks " 
 was talked over. 
 
 When they considered that Mr. Livingston 
 Speculate owned the cottage that he had giv 
 en a second (chattel) mortgage a year before 
 to his brokers to prevent being sold out "just 
 
 then ;" that Pacific did n't happen to jump the 
 6
 
 122 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 right way ; and that he was sold out for their 
 protection, the Long Branch cottage became 
 a fixed fact. 
 
 Just after the " Fourth," then, there was an 
 expectant party on the way to the Branch, 
 and all in glee at the prospect. Fred Margin 
 had taken the Red Bank boat at six o'clock 
 in the morning, had gone down with the 
 coachman and the horses, and, arriving at Red 
 Bank a little after noon, had only an hour's 
 drive of seven miles over a good road, from 
 the steamboat landing to the shore. He was 
 to open the house, and be ready to receive 
 them at the d6pot, and Harry and Marian 
 with the servants were to come down by the 
 afternoon boat. 
 
 It was a lively scene at the pier.- There 
 was the Plymouth Rock, gorgeously splendid 
 in fresh paint and bunting, ready for a start, 
 with her elegant-looking Captain standing by 
 the after gangway in all the glory of white 
 kids and new uniform, monogrammed and 
 gold-laced, like an officer of the regular navy, 
 wanting only the Foul Anchor to make him 
 complete. All the Wall Street fellows had
 
 OFF TO THE "BRANCH." 123 
 
 taken their camp-stools from the express- 
 office, and were smoking and knocking hats 
 around on the forward deck, as all the Wall 
 Street fellows did. The lively strains of the 
 gems from " Barbe Blue " were being played 
 by the detachment of the Ninth Regiment 
 Band, and Harry had secured a seat for 
 Marian upon the shatly side, among a crowd 
 of Israelites the barnacles of the watering 
 places, forever present on cars and steamboats, 
 in the best places while he had with care 
 ful forethought stationed Miss Murphy and 
 Miss Feeney, the " help " of that particular 
 period, together upon one of the sofas on the 
 lower saloon deck, convenient to the gangway. 
 It was "awfully jolly," as several Stock- 
 Board friends agreed, this having Honeydew 
 going down to the Branch ; " all in a snug 
 little cottage, you know," as one of them 
 playfully whispered to Marian, after the in 
 troduction which had been given him. And 
 Marian felt the necessity of showing how 
 very important she was, and how necessary 
 to Harry's existence, by detailing their plans to 
 the several polite Wall Street friends of her
 
 124 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 husband, while Harry went to the office be 
 low, to purchase a commutation ticket for 
 he intended to travel to New York every 
 morning, and back to the Branch every night, 
 with the rest of the fellows had already 
 paid for a camp-stool, in view of the necessi 
 ties of the morning trip up and the evening 
 trip down, and had been duly inducted into 
 the mysterious process of obtaining a half- 
 bottle without delay, by an extra quarter to 
 one of the swallow-tail-coated waiters in the 
 dining-room. 
 
 And then, the prospects for that trip were 
 so pleasant ; the air was so bracing (at the 
 Branch) early in the morning ; the boat ar 
 rived at her pier in due time for his atten 
 dance at the office and the Board ; it was 
 such jolly fun to catch the cool, invigorating 
 sea-breeze after a day's hot work in the city, 
 and there were so many nice tables, and such 
 good wine on ice in the gorgeous dining- 
 room ; and Levy played so gloriously upon 
 the cornet, and the " Band " discoursed such 
 nice music ; and there were so many euchre 
 (and poker) parties in the " private parlors,"
 
 SUNDRIES. 125 
 
 to be obtained at the moderate price of two 
 dollars per trip, on the Plymouth Rock ; and 
 then Tilton, the Captain of the boat, was such 
 r a jolly good fellow, and it was such a pleasant 
 ride up the beach, with the ocean on one side 
 and the river and Highlands on the other ; 
 and there were so many pretty ladies, whom 
 the Wall Street fellows knew and chatted 
 with ; and the change would be such a good 
 thing for Marian ; and the boys could come 
 over from the hotels and take a smoke with 
 them on Sunday ; and there were the Satur 
 day night "hops" at the big houses, and 
 there was the Club House to go to (semi- 
 occasionally) ; and there was Monmouth Park, 
 and the races in the July and the August 
 meetings. To make everything serene, and 
 the prospect still more pleasant, there was 
 Fred Margin at the d6pot, whip in hand 
 and horses prancing, with the new " drag " 
 all brilliant and sparkling, just from Brews- 
 ter's waiting for Harry and Marian ; and 
 the coachman was there, too, waiting for the 
 girls who were to officiate as cook and cham 
 bermaid.
 
 126 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 " All right, Fred ? " asked Honeydew, as he 
 assisted Marian to climb up to the back seat 
 of the two-story vehicle, after starting the 
 girls off home in a hack, attended by the coach 
 man ; " horses all right, and house open? " 
 
 " Yes ; and I 've ordered a nice dinner to be 
 sent down from lauch's, to be ready at half- 
 past six ! " was the proud reply, given with 
 the ejaculatory interpolations of " Whoa, 
 Dick ! Steady, Prince ! Whoa, boys ! " as 
 Harry mounted to the front seat, and, amid 
 the cloud of omnibuses, pony-wagons, and 
 private carriages, they rolled away up the 
 beach road, to take a turn past the hotels be 
 fore dinner, as a commencement to their Long 
 Branch season.
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 LONG BRANCH. 
 
 THE music of the waves, which the sea-side 
 poets so devoutly put into their watering- 
 place rhymes, fell upon the ears of a pleasant 
 household at the Long Branch cottage. Mr. 
 Livingstone Speculate had laid things out 
 nicely in his selection, and the furniture 
 which he had left in the house, without being 
 very elaborate, or very abundant, was suffi 
 cient for the purpose ; and as Marian unpack 
 ed a couple of her trunks that evening, while 
 Harry and Fred were taking it lazily, behind 
 good cigars, upon the piazza, the soft moon 
 light looked pretty out on the ocean, and she 
 liked Long Branch. . 
 
 How charming the little lady looked in her 
 ntgligt dress, her soft brown hair coquettishly 
 attractive, as it hung a-down her shoulders, 
 and played about in the sea-breeze ! . She
 
 128 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 turned the corner of the piazza, breaking upon 
 them like a picture, and came towards the 
 gentlemen, throwing her arms lovingly around 
 Harry's neck, with an utter disregard of hot 
 cigar ashes upon his shirt bosom, and then, 
 after a couple of energetic attempts, seated 
 herself at his feet in the hammock in which 
 he swung. 
 
 " Why, pet, you 're jolly, to-night ! " said 
 Hone/dew, setting the hammock a-swinging, 
 and creating a new breeze by the oscillation ; 
 " are you happy ? " 
 
 " Yes, Harry, I 'm happy, and this seems 
 like living ! " 
 
 The dear little woman was in earnest, and 
 Honeydew knew that she was ; there was 
 nothing now to be said they were fairly 
 embarked in their new enterprise of coop 
 erative housekeeping, and as Marian was 
 tired after her travel and her unpacking, at 
 an early hour in that moonlight evening 
 there was quiet in the Honeydew house 
 hold. 
 
 And there was an order for early breakfast 
 in the morning conveyed to Miss Maggie
 
 SEA-FOG. 129 
 
 Murphy, and by Miss Murphy conveyed to 
 Miss Feeney. 
 
 There wasn't quite so pleasant an atmo 
 sphere out of doors, or in, the next morning 
 at half-past six o'clock, when the Honey dew 
 cooperative household turned out from beds, 
 and in to breakfast. As frequently, at the sea 
 side, it had clouded over during the night, 
 there was a drizzling sort of shower, a(id it 
 was an unpleasant July morning, with very 
 little air on the land, and little upon the ocean. 
 
 Away off at sea, the outward-bound 
 schooners lay almost motionless, working 
 slowly off shore, and with their dingy, 
 damp sails flapping idly against their masts, 
 while the carriages which passed the door, 
 bearing passengers to the earlier morning 
 trains looked very blue, from the rain upon 
 their black paint, and the whole aspect was 
 damp, gloomy and foreboding as Marian stood 
 at the front door, looking out upon the road 
 and upon the shadowy horses moving along 
 in the fog. 
 
 There were two anxious gentlemen in 
 6*
 
 I3O THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 waiting for that early breakfast. Six o'clock 
 was n't so terribly early, to be sure, of a clear, 
 sunshiny morning ; but it did come a little 
 early for two- thirds of the firm of Margin, 
 Short and Honeydew, that day. Harry 
 never felt more like sleeping in his life, and 
 Fred rolled down into the parlor, and out 
 upon the piazza, with his eyes full of what he 
 called " sea-fog," and just a little ill-natured, 
 as he called at the foot of the stair-way for 
 Honeydew to get up and come down, if he 
 wanted to go to town. 
 
 The reason of his impatience was a cursory 
 view which he took of the dining-room. How 
 long it might possibly take to set the table, he 
 did not know and there was nothing on it, 
 but the tablecloth and a partly filled tumbler. 
 
 Simultaneously with the appearance of 
 Marian Honeydew from off the piazza, there 
 came a sudden sunburst of Ireland from the 
 kitchen. Maggie Murphy was angry, she 
 had cooked a breakfast, such as it was for 
 Marian had forgotten that the stores were not 
 at the corner of the street and what little 
 there was for breakfast had been made ready,
 
 MISS FEENEY. 131 
 
 in expectation of being taken to the dining- 
 room. 
 
 But no Miss Feeney was visible. 
 
 The new young lady had been awakened 
 from her early morning slumbers by Maggie ; 
 but a second nap had been too great a tempta 
 tion, and she had just made her appearance in 
 the kitchen with unkempt hair, and slip-shod, 
 and had deliberately proceeded to wash her 
 face in one of the clean dish-pans which Mag 
 gie had laid aside for private use. 
 
 " Shure, ma'am, an' it's too bad, indade, 
 ma'am, with the strange gintleman in the. 
 house, an' the dishes all cooked an' waitin', 
 and no one to put them on the table. D' ye 
 see that f " said Maggie, pathetically. 
 
 She nodded patronizingly at the new 
 waitress, who stood with arms a-kimbo, 
 leaning against the open window, quite ob 
 livious to the possible effect of the ora 
 tion. 
 
 To add to the indignity of the situation, 
 Harry thrust his head into the kitchen, and 
 demanded something to eat, in no very mild 
 tone of voice, with the concise remark that
 
 132 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 " the train went in half an hour, and it rained 
 like sin, out o' doors ! " 
 
 Little did the newly arisen Miss.Feeney 
 care what Mr. Honeydew wanted. She had 
 successfully played her trump card in the 
 hand she held. With no very definite idea 
 where Long Branch was, how long it took to 
 reach it, or by what route, she had engaged 
 to go into the country, was fresh from the In 
 telligence Office, and had formed no very 
 pleasant opinion of a sea-side residence upon 
 her arrival. 
 
 " Are you going to work? " asked Marian, 
 with all the authority which she could com 
 mand, and addressing her conversation solely 
 to the young woman with the unkempt hair, 
 who still maintaiired her position by the win 
 dow " what do you mean ? " 
 
 " What do I mane, is it ? " was the quick 
 reply. " What d 'ye suppose I mane, ma 'am ? 
 I '11 not stay in this place, ye may be sure ! " 
 
 " Will you set that table ? " 
 
 " That I won't ! If ye want it set, as ye 
 call it, do it yerself ! " 
 
 And the girl sat down upon a vacant chair,
 
 GOOD MORNING. 133 
 
 while Marian appealed, by a look of calm 
 submission, to the now very angry and very 
 red-faced cook. 
 
 Persuasion was useless arguments were 
 beyond the limited comprehension of the 
 waitress there was already a fair share of 
 the half hour of time passed away, and Ma 
 rian had but one thing to do, which was to 
 carry in the dishes herself, and pour out the 
 coffee with all possible haste. 
 
 The poor little woman had seen her pretty 
 picture of sea-side comfort fade away, like 
 the shadows from a camera, and, had it not 
 been for the presence of Fred, would have in 
 dulged in a feminine cry, by way of relief 
 to her lacerated feelings. 
 
 There was no time for that, however ; busi 
 ness was important Harry must go to the 
 City, and there was scarcely time to catch the 
 train. Biscuits were grown cold, and there 
 was no time to indulge in beefsteak or pota 
 toes. The few moments left for leave-taking 
 were devoted to a private conversation at the 
 front door, and in silence, if not in anger, 
 Iloneydew walked over with Fred to the d&-
 
 134 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 pot, sprang upon the platform of the smoking- 
 car, and started for New York, leaving Ma 
 rian, trying to smile, but rather bashful, look 
 ing ai;er them as they walked away. 
 
 Once, and once only he looked towards the 
 cottage ; the train passed only a couple of 
 fields away, and as they moved off behind the 
 wheezy engine, he saw a small white handker 
 chief being waved as adieu at him, and waved 
 his own in return mechanically, at least, for he 
 was hungry, ill-humored, and very much dis 
 gusted and he maintained a peculiarly inde 
 finite aspect, and a solemn silence, broken 
 only by an occasional monosyllable, until they 
 reached the Plymouth Rock. 
 
 How far a good breakfast a la carte may 
 have affected him remains to be imagined ; 
 that it did affect him may be supposed from 
 the conversation with Fred and a couple of 
 Wall Street friends, over the iced champagne 
 which was " set up " before them. The con 
 versation " culminated " in a message sent by 
 telegraph to dear Mamma, from the Broad 
 Street office, asking her to " send Annie down 
 to the Branch by the afternoon boat," and by
 
 REBELLION. 135 
 
 his going back by the 10:40 A. M. line, and 
 finding Marian quite disconsolate, and the 
 new girl not missing from the cottage, but in 
 a high state of insubordination. 4
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 * 
 
 MILESIAN VISITORS. 
 
 " The Wall Street Broker, traveling with the men, 
 Sailed up the bay, and then sailed back again " 
 
 would be a good alteration of old lines, ap 
 propriate to Honeydew's situation, as he 
 stepped on board the good steamer Jesse 
 Hoyt, on the way back to Long Branch, with 
 his feelings wrought up to their highest pos 
 sible pitch of household excitement, and with 
 his conscience loaded down with censure at 
 what he thought to be injustice towards his 
 wife. 
 
 The skeleton in his housekeeping closet 
 was, figuratively, grinning at him in all its 
 hideous deformity, and he could n't smile 
 back at the skeleton. He had toned himself 
 down from his indignant attitude long before 
 the train reached Long Branch station, and, 
 
 entering the house by the back door, rushed 
 (136)
 
 AN ARMISTICE. 137 
 
 up to his room, to find Marian pale, anxious 
 and tearful. 
 
 " Cheer up, darling, cheer up ! " was his 
 first sentence. " I '11 help you out to-day ! " 
 
 But how ? was the question. There was a 
 thoroughly demoralized state of affairs at the 
 cottage. The contagion had extended to 
 Maggie Murphy, the pattern cook, and she 
 was having a genteel row 'with Richard, the 
 coachman, while the waitress was sulking in 
 the dining-room. The belligerent servants 
 and the indignant mistress had drawn fire ; 
 there was a cessation of active hostilities, 
 while the breakfast things, at twelve o'clock, 
 stood upon the dining-table. 
 
 The sudden appearance of the gentleman, 
 however, had a good effect, and probably 
 saved Marian from the mortification of an 
 abusive scene with the servants, or the incon 
 venience of a secession of the whole force. 
 The wrangling dispute between Richard and 
 Maggie came to a climax. Richard had laid 
 violent hands upon a water-pail, to carry wa-- 
 tcr to the horses, and Maggie had protested, 
 whereupon Richard did use it to water the
 
 138 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 horses, and then tossed it in upon the kitchen 
 floor, so that it struck Miss Maggie upon 
 the ankles as it rolled across the room 
 whereupon the cook had become justly in 
 censed. 
 
 Usurping the privileges of his wife, Harry 
 Honeydew delivered a'short, pithy address to 
 the refractory help. Maggie, after stating 
 that there was nothing for dinner, no coal to 
 cook with, and that the well-water was 
 " salty," took to her dishes, and made a sec 
 ond wood fire the waitress commenced set 
 ting the dining-room in order, and Richard 
 began the harnessing of the horses, without a 
 word of opposition, contenting himself with 
 a venomous glance at the cook. 
 
 The sea-fog had cleared away, and with it 
 the temporary clouds above the Honeydew 
 household. Harry started off to the village 
 bought coal, and had it sent to the house 
 opened an account at the general country 
 store, and with fresh-caught fish in abund 
 ance, which he deposited with an air of tri 
 umph upon the kitchen table provided 
 enough of provisi Dns for one day at least, and
 
 COUSIN AND FRIEND. 139 
 
 started off for a ride, taking Marian along 
 with him, leaving the household to run itself, 
 and bringing up at the dp6t at train time, to 
 meet Fred and his other expected visitor 
 that is, the sister-in-law who was to comfort 
 Marian in her perplexity ; but other and un 
 expected ones came, without a greeting from 
 the Honeydews. 
 
 No sooner had the dinner been finished, 
 and the pleasant little family party of four 
 congregated upon the sea-front side of the 
 piazza, than there was a barking of the coach- 
 dog heard, and the dog continued to bark 
 until Harry went around to the back of the 
 house, to enquire the reason for the disturb 
 ance. 
 
 The dog was right he should have barked ; 
 and the appearance of two slovenly-looking 
 fellows, who hung around the back door, was 
 sufficient reason for his canine manifestations. 
 
 There was mud upon their boots, and their 
 faces were unshaven ; and they were in con 
 versation with the new waitress. 
 
 " Well, my men, what is wanted ?" was the 
 first question which Honeydew asked.
 
 140 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 A sort of low comedy smile was the fel 
 low's reply. 
 
 " My cousin, sir, and a friend ! " 
 
 There was a degree of positive assurance 
 about this announcement which was refresh 
 ingly decisive, with the two gentlemen lately 
 arrived, friends in ordinary to the new girl. 
 
 So, out of deference to Miss Feeney's feel 
 ings, Honeydew returned to the front piazza, 
 as Miss Feeney took possession of the back one, 
 and gave her tired " cousin " and his friend a 
 few " scraps " from the table. 
 
 How glad the lately arrived girl was to see 
 the " cousin," and how nicely the story of the 
 one relation " out West," comported with his 
 arrival at Long Branch quite as soon as Miss 
 Feeney's was an open question. To use a 
 phrase bordering upon slang, but very expres 
 sive, it was " thin " quite transparent and 
 Harry Honeydew thought so. 
 
 The cousin and his friend lingered about 
 the premises till late at night, and were sitting 
 upon the back steps when the family retired, 
 and when Maggie was ready to shut up the 
 house.
 
 LATE VISITORS. 141 
 
 But they looked so innocent, and were ap 
 parently so inoffensive, and it seemed so great 
 a pity to deprive the poor girl of their com 
 panionship, that Marian hesitated about order 
 ing the men away, and waited nearly an hour 
 till it was eleven o'clock. before Harry was 
 sent down, in dressing-gown and slippers, to 
 dismiss the visitors and close up the establish 
 ment. 
 
 There were looks of indignation, when he 
 reached the back door but the men took the 
 
 * 
 
 order without a word, at least that Harry 
 could interpret, and the girl went slowly up 
 the back stairs, leaving him to lock the door, 
 and affording him also the privilege of taking 
 the extra precaution of noting the fastenings 
 to the windows and the bolts upon the cellar 
 shutters, which opened upon the outside.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 A PAINFUL DISCOVERY. 
 
 MARIAN'S pretty little clock had ticked 
 away all night, in its soberest way, and was 
 just striking six A. M., when Harry opened his 
 sleepy eyes, and went out into the hall to 
 arouse the girls. It was a custom which 
 the necessity for early breakfast had taught 
 him, and he thumped away at the cook's door 
 with a violence which would have recalled a 
 remembrance of the cry of " Fall River ! " 
 accompanied by three knocks upon stateroom 
 doors, familiar to the travelers to Boston by 
 the boat. Maggie started from her bed, and 
 answered sleepily so Harry told her to call 
 the chambermaid, who had been given sleep 
 ing quarters in another room, and went back 
 to his own bed for just three minutes more of 
 semi-somnolency, but which he was not allow 
 ed to have. 
 
 " God save us, sir, the girl is gone ! " were 
 (*4*)
 
 THE BIRD FLOWN. 143 
 
 the startling words which were shouted at the 
 door of his room two minutes after, while the 
 latch was turned and the head of the cook 
 thrust within the opening made by the swing 
 ing door" Gone ; an' her clothes wid her ! " 
 The frightened girl, with her face the com 
 plete picture of dismay and terror, standing 
 in her night-dress, and barefooted, clung to 
 the side of the door for support, making an 
 exhibition of Celtic female loveliness in a dis- 
 
 
 
 organized state of toilet, which added an 
 interest to the situation fully appreciated by 
 Marian Honeydew, if not by her husband. 
 
 In Marian's nervous state of mind, the 
 sentence which she could not clearly make 
 out carried with it a volume of condensed disas 
 ter ; and the annoyance of the situation was 
 not mitigated by Harry's evident fright at 
 what had happened. 
 
 "Gone, you say, Maggie; where?" was 
 his inquiry, as Maggie drew back and blushed 
 a little at the realization of her dishabille. 
 
 " Yis, sur, gone an' God knows where; 
 oh, sir, if ye plaze " 
 
 By the time she had reached the word
 
 144 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF .THE PERIOD. 
 
 " plaze," Harry had pulled on his boots and 
 pants, and he dashed out of his room, and over 
 to the chambermaid's in breathless anxiety. 
 
 The bed had evidently not been occupied 
 during the night the window was open, and 
 beneath it were the marks of heavy foot-prints 
 together with one or two hair-pins and a dirty 
 neck-tie, easily to be recognized as one which 
 had been stolen from Marian. 
 
 The girl had thrown her clothes from the 
 window, and the worst fears which Harry 
 might form of what had been done, had good 
 promise of being found well deserved. 
 
 By this time Fred had been aroused by the 
 unusual clamor, and Annie had emerged from 
 her room, in her night dress, and there was 
 altogether a lively family scene, with a con 
 fused family party. 
 
 Down to the kitchen went the quartette of 
 frightened housekeepers, Harry leading, Fred 
 next, then Annie, and then the cook ; Marian 
 remaining at the head of the stairway, cling 
 ing to the balusters for support. 
 
 The dining-room told the rest of the story. 
 The drawers of the buffet were open, the nap-
 
 CLEANED OUT. 145 
 
 kins scattered over the floor, and not a single 
 silver spoon or fork was to be found. The 
 back-door of the kitchen was shut, but un 
 locked, one of the windows open, and beside 
 the cellar door, lying with his head upon the 
 steps, was the coach dog, dead, from a blow 
 upon the head inflicted with an iron "jimmy," 
 which had been used to force an entrance to 
 the cellar. 
 
 The " cousin from the West " had paid a 
 timely visit, and the girl who had been his 
 accomplice had made good her escape. 
 
 The drowsy coachman, sleeping in his cham 
 ber over the carriage-house, was called up, 
 and evidently knew nothing of the affair, but 
 mourned the loss of his pet dog more than he 
 did the silver-ware for which Harry had, in 
 part, paid, and which Marian had taken from 
 the chest in which the wedding-presents were 
 deposited. 
 
 Nor was the chase to the village, on horse 
 back, of any avail. The policemen, in pay of 
 the Long Branch Commissioners (and espe 
 cially savage upon hack-drivers) had seen no 
 one of a suspicious character, and the only 
 7
 
 146 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 information which the most diligent inquiry 
 elicited from the railroad people, was, that a 
 man and a woman, with no baggage but a 
 bundle and a bandbox, had taken passage on 
 a freight train, at an early hour in the morn 
 ing ; that it was not an unusual occurrence, 
 and that by the time that Harry was making 
 his investigation, the thieves had arrived at 
 New York, and were safe from pursuit or de 
 tection. 
 
 And so, there was one more day of anxiety 
 promised, and another morning of disorganiz 
 ed breakfast. When the two gentlemen went 
 to town by a later train, it was with the firm 
 conviction that faith in womankind when 
 servants was ill-placed ; and that running a 
 seaside cottage on the cooperative plan was a 
 luxury, rather than a necessity.
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 NORAH, A LAST EXPERIMENT. 
 
 IT was a mortification to Honeydew, when 
 he was compelled to visit the maternal man 
 sion, near the Avenue, an hour after his ar 
 rival in New York ; but there was no help for 
 it. Marian was young, inexperienced and 
 nervous ; she claimed to have need of her 
 mother's advice, and the errand was his sec 
 ond visit to the house since they had given 
 
 up their apartments at the Hotel, and 
 
 had struck out for themselves. 
 
 Mrs. Weatherby, a little vindictive, but cer 
 tainly gratified at the unexpected necessity 
 for her assistance or advice, received him 
 rather coldly. When it is considered that, 
 on account of family difficulties, in which 
 there were two sides to the question, Ex-Cap 
 tain Weatherby did not live at home, and as 
 dear Mamma was consequently the temporal 
 
 (147)
 
 148 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 head of the Weatherby establishment, there 
 may be found a reason for that lady's peculiar 
 prerogative of dictation in home and other 
 matters in which she could consistently claim 
 a voice. 
 
 " I told you so, but you never take my ad- 
 vi(?e, you know so much ! " was her reply, 
 after hearing the story of the Long Branch 
 troubles. 
 
 She had not told Harry anything of the 
 kind ; but he did not choose, just then, to es 
 say a contradiction, and, after a hasty inter 
 view, he agreed to meet her at the Plymouth 
 Rock that afternoon, while he went down to 
 the office to report progress to Fred. 
 
 When the report of the Committee of One 
 was duly made, the Committee of One was 
 somewhat surprised. The conversation took 
 place a little after two o'clock, while the stock 
 sales were being compared, and when the 
 office was a busy one. 
 
 " You can give the old lady my room 
 for to-night, then," said Fred, as he lighted 
 a fresh cigar, looking at Honeydew with 
 a glance which may have had some pity
 
 A DIFFERENCE. 149 
 
 for an unfortunate Benedict in its significa 
 tion. 
 
 " Why, no, she can room with Marian, and 
 I can go in with you. Nothing of the kind, 
 my dear fellow, I won't listen to it, there's 
 room enough, somewhere, for us all." 
 
 Fred thought not, and Harry insisted, till, 
 finally, the frank avowal was made that 
 " there was n't room in the house for all of 
 them, if Mrs. Weatherby was to become a 
 permanent visitor." 
 
 The argument did not admit of extension. 
 Fred knew the characteristics of dear Mam 
 ma, and he was not slow in appreciating the 
 inconvenience of having a stranger in the 
 house on such an emergency. 
 
 " Fact is, Harry," said Fred, after a pause 
 of ten minutes in their conversation, " I do n't 
 care much about the arrangement, if the old 
 lady is to have her finger in the pie ; I do n't 
 like her; you and Marian are good enough, 
 and Annie ; but when it comes to your 
 Duchess of Kent of a mother-in-law, excuse 
 me, please ! " 
 
 It was said good-naturedly, and a private
 
 I5O THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 engagement in the City was pleaded as a fur 
 ther excuse, for the present. They were two 
 old friends, and were too intimately associat 
 ed, socially and financially, to quarrel, and so, 
 Honeydew accepted the situation just as it 
 was forced upon him, and prepared to make 
 every excuse but the correct one, to account 
 for his friend's absence from the cottage. 
 
 The trip down to the Branch, with the big 
 boat, the music, the Wall street fellows, and 
 the sight of Marian at the depot, smoothed 
 matters nicely, and at the cottage there was a 
 recapitulation of all the adventures, in which 
 narration even Maggie Murphy took part, and 
 volunteered the information that her sister was 
 expected to arrive from the old country in a 
 few days, and she would engage her to come 
 as chambermaid and waitress, for twelve dol 
 lars a month. 
 
 Marian, Harry and dear Mamma accepted 
 this as the best thing to be done, and after a 
 day or two at the sea- side, dear Mamma went 
 home ; Marian became more composed ; Fred 
 became a member of the household, and the 
 new girl arrived, in brogans and homespun.
 
 NORAH. 151 
 
 Norah was willing, but stupid, and Maggie 
 " instructed " her in a loud tone of voice, and, 
 having now in the persons of herself and 
 sister, the absolute control of the household, 
 she did not hesitate to assert her authority. 
 
 Still, there was so much to be seen, and so 
 much to do at the Branch, that the experi 
 ment was relieved from part of its objection 
 able features. The season was at its height 
 there was so much of pleasantness in the 
 whole arrangement, and so many friends at 
 the hotels, that the worriment of the house 
 keeper found a panacea in the outside attrac 
 tions. 
 
 Tom Delivery brought down his horse, and 
 took rooms at the "West End" several 
 friends of the boys were quartered at the 
 " Continental " there was a nice party cf 
 congenial folks at " Rowland's," and as the 
 Honey dews were in with the ring of Presi 
 dential admirers who clustered in the cottages 
 over the Pond, it was pleasant indeed. Be 
 sides, Marian had been presented with a 
 pony-phaeton and a pony, as a birth-day pre 
 sent.
 
 152 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Judge then of the new difficulty which be 
 set the little lady when she came back, tearful 
 and anxious after a turn up the beach in the 
 pony-phaeton, and told Harry, while the 
 tears gave place to indignation, and her dark 
 eyes flashed with the most polite of society 
 anger, that the Fungus family had deliber 
 ately " cut " her, when she met them on the 
 beach-road. 
 
 The Fungus family were a portion of the 
 nabob population of Long Branch rich, 
 fairly educated, a little " mushroomy " as to 
 their prestige, and claiming to have ancestral 
 pedigrees away back among the records of 
 the " Irish Kings;" and as the Fungus family 
 were jolly, good-humored, generous folks 
 and eligible acquaintances, the event worried 
 Mrs. Honeydew. 
 
 "Cut you, my dear why, you must be 
 mistaken! Only a week ago they were at 
 the West End hop, and you have not seen 
 them since ;" was the assuring consolation 
 which Harry attempted to give his outraged 
 wife. 
 
 " But, I tell you, Harry, that they cut me
 
 VISITORS SNUBBED. 153 
 
 flat to-day, on the drive. They passed me 
 twice, and they did not return my bow, at 
 all." 
 
 " Do n't you owe them a call, my darling ? 
 You know these watering-place people are 
 sensitive, sometimes." 
 
 " Indeed, I do n't, they have not returned 
 the last one which I made them." 
 
 Just at that moment, Norah was seen cross 
 ing the hall, and so Harry called her, and in 
 quired if Mrs. Fungus had been at the house 
 during his wife's absence whether there 
 were any cards which had not been given to 
 Marian. 
 
 The girl stared at him in a stupid way, and 
 then, with her hands clapped down at her 
 side, looked inquiringly at both master and 
 mistress, and Harry began to divine the pos 
 sible cause of the difficulty. 
 
 " Ye mane was there anybody here while 
 the missus was out wid the wagon ?" 
 
 " Yes, Norah, that 's what I mean has any 
 body called ? " 
 
 " No, sir, they did n't call the coachman 
 rang the bell, an' the ladies stopped in the 
 7*
 
 154 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 -wagon that high sate iv a coach, wid the 
 two men sittin' on the top iv it." 
 
 " Well, what was the message ? " 
 
 " Divil a word, then, sir the man came 
 up to the door, and handed me a bit iv 
 paper ; I told him there was nothing for him, 
 an' I shut the door in his dirthy face, I 
 did ! " 
 
 The secret was out the polite and atten 
 tive waitress had insulted the visitors, and the 
 Honeydews were " out " with the Fungus 
 family, and were not invited to the Fungus 
 family's entertainment that evening, as a con 
 sequence and the Honeydews knew that 
 there was an entertainment, for everybody 
 had spoken of it, and lauch had received the 
 order for the refreshments, so, at least lauch's 
 Italian porter had told them, when he brought 
 the Neapolitan ice-cream for the dessert, that 
 afternoon. 
 
 Indignant as Marian was, she could say 
 nothing the neglect of an invitation to the 
 evening party was not to be overlooked, and 
 the affront of that neglect had made a breach 
 in the social circle which could not be easily
 
 WAITRESS' ERRORS. 155 
 
 spanned over by the hedging process of mu 
 tual apology, except by accident. 
 
 The stupidity of Maggie's sister was amus 
 ing, after all. She had committed more er 
 rors in the dining-room than could be forgiv 
 en, however. 
 
 How she had mistaken the slices of lemon 
 in the finger-bowls for an attempt at lemonade, 
 and had offered a teaspoon and the pulverized 
 sugar to the guests upon the occasion of the 
 dinner-party upon the next Sunday, how she 
 spilled the consomme, soup over Marian's pret 
 ty summer silk, at that same dinner-party 
 how she put the water in the champagne- 
 glasses, and placed the cracked ice out on the 
 piazza to be kept cool and how she had 
 opened the ice-cream to taste it, and had 
 allowed the salt to creep in through the open 
 ing when she removed the cover to the form 
 were matters to be remedied by experience, 
 and could be forgiven, after a time ; but when 
 both Maggie and she insisted upon going to 
 early church every Sunday morning, and 
 finally demanded that, for lack of a commoner 
 conveyance, they must be sent in the phaeton,
 
 I$6 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 and Richard did not get back to the house in 
 time for the proper breakfast-hour, the trou 
 ble became worse, and within a fortnight, one 
 bright Monday morning, both of the servants 
 packed up, ready to leave, and the Long 
 Branch cottage was left without " help," and 
 with Mrs. Honeydew not well enough to 
 undertake the work herself; and the family 
 were forced to " colonize " for a week, by 
 sleeping at home, and going over to the " Con 
 tinental " for their meals, for want of a cook 
 to prepare the victuals, or waitress to serve 
 them at the table. 
 
 And in two days more, Harry and Marian 
 had packed up and gone away from the Branch 
 for the White Mountains. Coachman, horses, 
 and all had been sent away at the same time. 
 Fred took the horses off to Lake Mahopac, 
 where he determined to " club it " with some 
 of the brokers, and as Marian needed a change, 
 Harry sent part of the trunks off to the 
 
 establishment on East Street, and gave 
 
 Richard the privilege of sleeping in the house, 
 to take care of it, and kept him under re 
 duced pay in the meanwhile.
 
 OFF AND AWAY. 157 
 
 For the next few weeks the letters were 
 dated at various places, all the way from 
 Centre Harbor, on Lake Winnipiseogee, to 
 North Conway, and the Honeydews voted 
 the Profile House an " institution " far ahead 
 of the Long Branch cottage.
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 BABY-KINGDOM. 
 
 THE winds were cool at the mountains, 
 and there had been early snowflakes on 
 Mount Washington, before the Honeydews 
 had decided to turn their faces homeward ; 
 in fact, they had stolen one more week, and 
 were glorying in shawls at Centre Harbor, 
 together with Tom Delivery, who had sailed 
 up the Lake one afternoon on the pretty little 
 steamer Chocurua the boat with the small 
 cabin aft, the squatty pilot-house, and the 
 very long smoke-stack when a message 
 reached them which decided their action. 
 
 The man Richard, whom they had left in 
 
 charge of the house in East Street had 
 
 been making himself very much at home, 
 and high revels had been held in the dining- 
 room, in which several horse-trainers and one 
 retired pugilist with a fair sprinkling of the
 
 HOMEWARD-BOUND. 159 
 
 servant-maids from the neighborhood had 
 been the guests. 
 
 How long the " goings on " had been in 
 order was not exactly known, but Mrs. Weath- 
 erby had made the discovery, had communi 
 cated the news in a confidential letter writ 
 ten in good English by one of the daughters 
 and Marian had cried over the letter, for she 
 was growing so delicate in health, that it 
 became necessary for them to return to the 
 house in East Street, and once more com 
 mit themselves to the care of servants. 
 
 It was rough weather in September, by the 
 Fall River Route. Point Judith had a pri 
 vate sea of its own always on hand, and so 
 they preferred, from respect to Marian's com 
 fort, or her delicate condition, the ride by 
 rail from Boston, rather than one of the big 
 staterooms and the chance of sea-sickness on 
 the Bristol or the Providence. 
 
 How strange the streets of the City seemed 
 to Marian, as she took a carriage to go up-town 
 from the d6pot ! So they rattled away home, 
 with one of the trunks the big one strapped 
 upon the coach, and the rest of the " traps "
 
 l6o THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 coming by express, including an assortment of 
 fishing-rods which would have done credit to 
 a new frontispiece to one of Murray's Guide- 
 Books to the Adirondacks Murray, the elo 
 quent divine of Boston, who told such mar 
 vellous stories of the blissful beauties of the 
 mountains, and set half the school-girls of 
 Boston and vicinity mountain-crazy, and al 
 most made a " corner " in heavy boots and 
 camping - out equipments in the stores on 
 Washington and Tremont Streets, a few 
 years ago. 
 
 Richard had departed, and the keys of the 
 house were in possession of Mrs. Weatherby, 
 to whose maternal residence the Honeydews 
 went on arrival that is, Marian staid there, 
 while Harry and Tom made themselves com 
 fortable at the other house, to receive the 
 trunks and baggage, and breakfasted at Del- 
 monico's in the morning. 
 
 For nearly a week after, there was a ser 
 vant-siege at the front door. An advertise 
 ment which Harry had inserted in the Herald 
 brought no less than twenty applicants for 
 the cookship, and as many again for the berth
 
 A ROMANTIC STORY. l6l 
 
 of chambermaid and waitress. Marian had 
 profited a little by her experience, and after 
 several changes, which brought four cooks 
 into the house and sent the same number out 
 of it, the cold weather set in, and the first 
 snows of the season were beginning to fall, 
 when an English girl became the last new 
 cook. 
 
 Her history was somewhat romantic. She 
 had run away from .home, had come to 
 America nearly two years before, had set up 
 a small pie and cake establishment on one of 
 the East-side Avenues, and had failed in her 
 undertaking, because, as she frequently aver 
 red, "she gave too much for the money." 
 So Letty (short for Letitia, she said,) gave up 
 the shop, and became the mistress of the 
 kitchen in the Honeydew establishment. 
 
 Yet Letty had her faults. She was literary 
 in her taste, and would sit up late o" nights 
 reading " standard literature," in the shape of 
 cheap novels ; and as she " burned the mid 
 night" gas, was often more than commonly 
 sleepy in the morning, and would insist, dur 
 ing the day, upon every possible occasion, on
 
 1 62 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 detailing to Marian " 'ow they did things at 
 'ome," and threw in very frequent quotations 
 from the late novels, or very free renderings 
 of the poets, while at work in the kitchen, to 
 the horror of the up-stairs girl, who was un 
 doubted Irish, and carried the natural hatred 
 of the English with her in her associations 
 with the cook. 
 
 Notwithstanding the temptations of Harry's 
 book-case, and notwithstanding the inevitable 
 discussions upon the comparative differences 
 between the upper society of England and 
 America, to which Marian was subjected in 
 the course of her daily interviews with Letty, 
 Letty was a success in some respects, and was 
 accepted as the best one of all the servants 
 since the return of the Honeydews from the 
 mountains. 
 
 Besides, she seemed so capable of giving 
 advice to Marian, upon several important 
 subjects, and was so handy about the house 
 generally, that the finding of "The Three 
 Spaniards " (an illustrated copy) on the shelf 
 among the dishes, was considered a matter of 
 little consequence.
 
 ANTE-PARENTAL NERVOUSNESS. 163 
 
 And now it was that Harry Honeydew 
 found the state of affairs in the household 
 more than ordinarily important ; the very 
 frequent visits of the sisters-in-law, and the 
 daily presence of Mrs. Weatherby, who float 
 ed about the house from one end to the other, 
 keeping a sharp eye upon Marian, told him 
 that the first crisis of their married life was 
 approaching. He rather liked the affectionate 
 and anxious inquiry after Mrs. Honeydew's 
 health, and became very nervous when he 
 went away from home in the morning asked, 
 no less than three times each day, that a de 
 spatch be sent to him " if any thing particular 
 happened in his absence," and felt that dear 
 little dark-eyed Marian needed all his tender 
 ness, all his care, and all his possible indul 
 gence towards herself and expected it to 
 wards her dear Mamma. 
 
 And then, away along towards the Christ 
 mas time, after the heater in the cellar had been 
 set a-going, and after an additional personage 
 had been added to the household, in the person 
 of a very fidgetty and very reticent middle- 
 aged lady who came splendidly recommend-
 
 164 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 ed by a particular friend, and had withstood 
 the test of a critical cross-examination from 
 dear Mamma there wa's a present sent, very 
 early one cold morning, by one of the kindly 
 neighbors, who had become a visitor to the 
 
 house. 
 
 
 
 It was a large white, pin -cushion, em 
 broidered in satin, and bordered with blue, 
 and on it, studded in bright pins, were the 
 words : 
 
 "W E L C O 
 LITTLE
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 BABY'S CABINET. 
 
 COMING, with the snowflakes, in the bleak 
 cold month of December, the Baby-King, in 
 all the glorious household majesty and pretti- 
 ncss of a chubby little nose which had 
 scarcely come to be a nose, it was so short 
 and stubby a round head, with a knot of 
 funny dark hair struggling for existence on 
 the top of it ; pretty, straight limbs and dim 
 pled hands, and a pair of chubby little feet, 
 which were eternally playing at cross pur 
 poses with each other, had set up, without 
 any knowledge on his part r the most perfect 
 of Baby Kingdoms, and had been provided 
 with a cabinet, without the trouble of select 
 ing the members. 
 
 With the coming of the " Little Stranger," 
 whose advent had been welcomed in pins on 
 
 the pin-cushion, there had been a change 
 
 (65)
 
 1 66 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 sudden in its development, notwithstanding 
 its long expectation and all the necessary 
 preparation which had been made for the 
 occasion of an heir to the Honeydevv estate 
 in bonds and personal property. 
 
 Baby-King, without an articulate word, and 
 Baby's Cabinet ruled the household. Harry 
 Honeydew was permitted to have the proper 
 solicitude for Marian, and a commendable 
 anxiety as to the baby, but beyond that, he 
 scarcely seemed to be an integral part of the 
 household, to say nothing of his loss of au 
 thority as the head of the establishment. 
 
 A third story back room, furnished with a 
 cot-bed, and a small mirror, with a washstand 
 and a small table, were his designated quar 
 ters. Mrs. Weatherby found it necessary to 
 take possession of the spare-room, in order to 
 be near to Marian. Marian's room was kept 
 dark and silent ; the front-door bell was partly 
 muffled, that its sound might not disturb the 
 young mother, who looked so pretty, with 
 her pale face and her dark eyes, and her 
 brown hair ; and Baby's Cabinet was in con 
 tinual session, with closed doors.
 
 MRS. WRACKETT. l6/ 
 
 Whether the nurse or dear Mamma was 
 the " prime minister," was a question open 
 to considerable argument. It was one of 
 those Lord Dundreary things, " which no 
 fellow could find out," and which Harry did 
 not consider it politic to try to settle. 
 
 The professional qualifications of Mrs. 
 Wrackett (the nurse) were her recommen 
 dations to the favor of dear Mamma, who 
 had, with commendable ( ! ) forethought, 
 undertaken the management of the house, 
 and the welfare of Marian Honeydew dur 
 ing the interesting period which reached 
 its height with the present of the pin-cush 
 ion worked on white satin and blue, and or 
 namented with the pin-head inscription. 
 The full weight of these qualifications be 
 ing duly taken into consideration, there 
 were certain peculiarities and afflictions to 
 which Mrs. Wrackett was subject, which 
 were hardly characteristic of that inevitable 
 temporary attachment to the household of 
 young married people, known as the nurse. 
 
 She had reached an age, and claimed so 
 vast an amount of experience, that she some-
 
 l68 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF .THE PERIOD. 
 
 times ran in conflict with dear Mamma's 
 experience and her way of doing things ; as 
 a consequence, there were several animated 
 discussions in the spare-room, in which many 
 questions at issue were submitted to the Doc 
 tor, who, by the way, failed to win the entire 
 regard of Mrs. Weatherby by nearly always 
 giving his decision in favor of the nurse, who 
 was his especial appointee. 
 
 Mrs. Wrackett was crochetty and -fretful, 
 and somewhat rheumatic. The halls were 
 cold, she said, and she exacted more attention 
 from the cook and waitress than either of 
 them were inclined freely to give. Her 
 rheumatic ailment was the source of contin 
 ual exclamation, and she went about the house, 
 on cold or damp days, with her limbs bound 
 up in red flannel and brown paper, and con 
 sidered Martell brandy and salt the only 
 proper remedies for her affliction. 
 
 She had brought with her a trunk and a 
 bandbox, as .though she proposed to make a 
 long stay of it, and really, in some instances, 
 worried the young mother more by her fid- 
 getty gyrations around the room and bedside
 
 PATERNAL PRIVILEGES. 169 
 
 than the visitors who wanted to see the baby 
 and were admitted to the room of the inter 
 esting invalid. 
 
 And dear Mamma, in her authoritative 
 German - English voice, would insist upon 
 holding conversations upon every possible 
 topic, in the sick-room, until Marian was 
 more than once forced to ask her to quit the 
 apartment, and was found by Harry, upon 
 his return home at night, in a state of feverish 
 excitement bordering on the dangerous. 
 
 The joint-proprietorship which he claimed 
 in the infantile Honeydew seemed to give 
 him no privileges. He was allowed to turn 
 down the covers very carefully, and take a 
 look at the little helpless head lying close to 
 Marian, and he was allowed to make a few 
 affectionate inquiries as to the condition of 
 his dear little wife, and then he was sent off 
 to the library, or the parlor, or the dining- 
 room, and as he did n't want to go out to the 
 club and play billiards, he generally read 
 over all the papers and the magazines, and 
 commenced the second reading of Irving's 
 works, by way of amusement. 
 8
 
 I/O THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 He was sitting in the library one evening, 
 just after New Years, and was about as com 
 fortable as a man could be, with slippers and 
 smoking-jacket, and a good cigar, when there 
 were noises heard through the speaking-tube 
 hear him, which caused him to listen. With 
 his ear to the mouthpiece, he could hear very 
 distinctly all that was being said, or was going 
 on in the kitchen. 
 
 " I tell ye, Katey, if that ould woman comes 
 fussin' around here to-night, wantin' her black 
 tea sthrong, an' her toast, all for herself, I '11 
 give her a blast that '11 settle her for awhile ; 
 an' I '11 give the master notice that my 
 month 's up to-morrow, an' I 'm going !" 
 
 The cook was the speaker. 
 
 " An' ye 're right, so ye are ; ye 're right in- 
 tirely ; divil a word iv her blatherin' would I 
 stand, indade ! She 's as fussy as an ould 
 witch, and as crass-timpered as an ould fairy 
 in the Killiloo bogs, so she is !" 
 
 Katey, the chambermaid, was the speaker 
 this time. 
 
 The conversation overheard by Harry told 
 a true story to him. Another rebellion was
 
 A MODEST QUESTION. 171 
 
 upon the eve of breaking out, and would 
 soon be forced to a decided complexion. He 
 could hear the creaking shoes of the nurse 
 upon the stairway, as she came down. 
 
 Away went the paper; he gave an extraor 
 dinarily strong pull at his cigar, by way of 
 fortifying himself to resist an attack, should 
 it be made, and called the woman into the 
 library. 
 
 She was carrying a bowl and a plate, on 
 her way to the kitchen, and she sat both down 
 upon a library chair, and then took possession 
 of another one, leaving Harry to stand while 
 he addressed her. 
 
 " Mrs. Wrackett," said Harry, in a quiet 
 tone, " how much longer do you intend to 
 remain here ? Baby is more than a month 
 old, you know, and Mrs. Honeydew has been 
 down stairs and about the house for almost a 
 week." 
 
 Mrs. Wrackett stared at him in an inquiring 
 sort of way, and then answering with a de 
 termined emphasis on a part of the sentence, 
 replied : 
 
 " As long as Mrs. Weathcrby wants to keep 
 me, to be sure !"
 
 172 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 " Mrs. Weatherby, eh ! I merely wanted 
 to know that was all," said Harry, pausing 
 just long enough to show the nurse that he 
 desired no further conversation, and then, as 
 she picked up the bowl and the plate and left 
 the room, he slowly went up-stairs. 
 
 Marian was sitting in the big chair, baby 
 was asleep in the new cradle, with the blue 
 hangings and the lace upon it, the drop-light 
 had been turned well-down, and was nicely 
 shaded, and the room looked pretty, warm, 
 and comfortable. 
 
 " Well, darling, you 're tired of this, I sup 
 pose," was Marian's languid salutation ; " come 
 over here and kiss me." 
 
 Harry did kiss her, and more than once ; 
 and then, as there was just the least possible 
 gurgling noise from the little fellow in the 
 cradle, he stepped lightly over to it, gave it a 
 few pushes with his hand, to set it a-rocking; 
 baby became quiet, and he sat down upon 
 the floor, at Marian's feet, to have a talk. 
 
 It was the first chance that he had found to 
 talk to Marian for many weeks, and their new 
 household treasure, lying asleep in his little 
 cradle, was a new bond of union between them.
 
 LITTLE TREASURE. 173 
 
 Mrs. Weatherby had gone home, to be 
 absent a day or two, and Marian and he were 
 left to talk over their plans as they saw fit, 
 and to discuss Mrs. Wrackett if they deemed 
 it proper. 
 
 Harry did ; and the result of the interview 
 was, that the nurse should go away the next 
 day. A young girl, who knew how to do it, 
 was to be engaged to take care of the baby, 
 and Harry was to give up the poorly fur 
 nished third-story back-room, and return to 
 his proper quarters.
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 A NEW REGIME. 
 
 WITH the new era in life which had opened 
 unto Harry Honeydew, quite with the Xmas 
 chimes, came a determination that, with the 
 new responsibilities of life, there should be a 
 change in the entire management of the 
 household affairs in the Honeydew residence. 
 
 There was no longer any direct occasion 
 for the interference of Mrs. Johanna Weath- 
 erby ; Marian had passed into the cares of 
 maternity, the agony of expectation of both 
 the father and the mother of the young 
 Honeydew was long over, and there was a 
 new aspect to every apartment, from the 
 library to the third story. 
 
 Angel wings had spread themselves over 
 the portals, and there was an angel presence 
 in the house. 
 
 There was less of cigar smoke in the 
 (174)
 
 LITTLE PRESENTS. 1/5 
 
 library, and there were more of newspapers 
 and magazines in Marian's pretty bed-cham 
 ber, while the hundred or more little things 
 which were found necessary to the new exis 
 tence quite filled up the odd nooks and cor 
 ners, and all the airy nothings, in the way of 
 little worked socks, comb-and -brush holders, 
 and an accumulation of " baby baskets " 
 every body seemed to think the little fellow 
 deserved a baby-basket, well equipped trans 
 formed apartments which were often quite 
 barren of ornaments into the real pictures of 
 home life. 
 
 There was more than, the dawning of a 
 new existence to Marian Honeydew, and when 
 the long winter evenings came, there was no 
 expenditure for reserved seats at the opera 
 and theatre, two or three times a week, for 
 there was work for Marian at home, and she 
 " did n't like to leave the baby." 
 
 And so, Harry Honeydew told, with a fair 
 degree of pride, to all his Wall Street com 
 panions, that there was a highly successful 
 baby at his house, and the usual compliments 
 of the Stock Board donation upon such events
 
 1/6 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 had been placed in a little ebony box, and 
 put away somewhere, till baby should be big 
 enough to play with it. 
 
 But then, there was a dark side to the pic 
 ture. Babyhood, in its beautiful innocence, 
 was the distillation of happiness ; but inno 
 cent babyhood soon came to be troublesome, 
 and the nurse question was found a hard one 
 to bring to a satisfactory solution. 
 
 That the women who hired out as child's 
 nurses were unfit for the position, soon be 
 came evident to the Honeydews, and that 
 the proper person to 'tend the baby was the 
 one thing to be desired, was evident at the 
 same time. 
 
 Poor Marian ! What with the cares of the 
 house, the clashing of interest between the 
 cook and the chambermaid, and the constant 
 disagreements with the nurse, there was 
 enough of annoyance to make her maternal 
 cares hard enough to bear. 
 
 Domesticated Harry had been forced to 
 take lessons in taking care of the baby, which 
 he never supposed that he would be taught 
 that winter! He had become an unwilling
 
 " OLD HOLLAND GIN," ETC. 1 77 
 
 proficient in the heating of milk ; and he was 
 more familiar with the aromatic qualities of 
 " Old Holland Gin," when warm, than he 
 had been during the Delmonico season at the 
 height of the excitement in Saint Paul, Rock 
 Island or North-Western. He became a profi 
 cient, also, in herbs, and, to a certain extent, 
 herbivorous ; he knew catnip the moment he 
 saw it, and could not be mistaken in its taste, 
 and as to goose-grease, he never before real 
 ized how necessary the goose was, when chil 
 dren were to be reared, and the attacks of 
 croup were imminently dangerous. 
 
 Throughout the whole of the cold winter 
 months, and away into March, it was a siege 
 with the baby, and the infantile troubles which 
 the young Honeydew experienced were such 
 as only helpless babyhood could tell of, if 
 helpless babyhood could carry its recollec^. 
 tions into after life, and then detail them in a 
 story of babyhood sorrows. 
 
 Marian paid several successive nurse-maids 
 for doing work, and was compelled to do it 
 herself, and the last of them all, the " little 
 girl' 7 whom dear Mamma engaged, fell asleep
 
 1/8 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 over the cradle, early in the afternoon, leaving 
 the baby only partly covered by the blanket, 
 and allowed him to take a cold in conse 
 quence, which lasted him for a month ; and the 
 number of bottles which were broken, the 
 amount of linen which was scorched in the 
 drying, and the number of dishes which were 
 fractured in being carried up-stairs, were 
 more in their aggregate value, than the girl's 
 wages. 
 
 And then, when the spring had opened, and 
 there was a real prospect of being able to 
 go out, Marian engaged an " accomplished " 
 nurse to take charge of the baby, and the 
 young woman came, early on a Monday 
 morning. 
 
 Maria it was a high-sounding name, less 
 frivolous than Katey, less national than Brid 
 get, Ellen or Mary, and more dignified than 
 Susan was a good-looking girl, born in Ire 
 land. She had been in this country for ten 
 years, and claimed to be almost an American, 
 and consequently several degrees ahead of the 
 ordinary run of nursery-maids, for which 
 " qualification " she exacted not less than two
 
 SPECIFIC DUTIES. 1/9 
 
 dollars per month advanced wages, and finally 
 compromised with Marian for one. 
 
 Claiming, then, to be a good nurse, she re 
 fused to do anything else than attend to the 
 baby ; and it is truth to say, that she complied 
 with the exact intention of the refusal, by doing 
 that and nothing more, even to seeing that 
 Marian's room was in order, and suggested that, 
 as she had to be with the baby, she would not 
 sleep in the room with the other girls, and took 
 possession of the temporary quarters which 
 Harry had occupied in the third story back 
 room. She evidently meant to stay ; her bag 
 gage did not consist of one trunk and a band 
 box, but there were two trunks, marked each 
 with her name in full, and they came by city 
 express instead of being brought by four small 
 boys, as. was generally the case. 
 
 She unpacked both trunks immediately on 
 her arrival, and aroused Marian from her nap 
 and the baby from his sleep, by driving nails 
 into the wall of the third story back room, in 
 order to hang up her clothing, as there was n't 
 space enough on the row of hooks behind the 
 door, and surprised Marian, when she came
 
 180 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 down, by an application for a hair mattress 
 instead of the husk one which had been pro 
 vided for her bed. 
 
 This application was referred to Harry, and 
 Harry refused ; so Maria was fain to be con 
 tented with the husk bed, and accepted the 
 situation with no direct complaint, but with a 
 sulky look which betrayed a high temper in a 
 temporary subjection, perhaps for a politic 
 purpose. 
 
 Of a higher grade than the rest of the ser 
 vants, Maria carried herself into the kitchen 
 with a little more than becoming dignity, and 
 carried the dishes out, when she needed to 
 take them up-stairs, with an air of superiority 
 which placed her on no very good terms with 
 the rest of the servant-household, and very 
 seriously interfered with her usefulness in 
 doing the washing and the ironing which was 
 necessary to baby's clothes. 
 
 Marian had waited more than an hour, 
 watching baby while he was asleep, one morn 
 ing, while Maria was at work ironing baby's 
 linen, down in the kitchen. She had rung the 
 bell once already, expecting the nurse to
 
 A PASSAGE AT ARMS. l8l 
 
 come up-stairs, and was nervously impatient 
 at the delay. Her hat and cloak were upon 
 the bed, and she was waiting for Maria to 
 come, that she might help her with her 
 cloaking and button those little one-and-a- 
 half-sized Polish boots : when she heard a 
 great noise upon the stairs, a war of voices, 
 and chamber-maid and nurse-maid dashed in 
 to the room. 
 
 The faces of two second-rate criminal law 
 yers, arguing a motion before a police-justice 
 would not have been more expressive of con 
 tempt towards each other, than the counte 
 nances of the two servants, upon that occa 
 sion. 
 
 Honora MacMullan, the chambermaid and 
 waitress, being just three steps in advance of 
 the nurse-maid, in coming up-stairs, first 
 reached the door of Marian's room, and with 
 both fists brought down upon it with a simul 
 taneous thump, she threw it open, and came 
 into Marian's presence. 
 
 " Ye 're betther than / am, are yt, ye Wex- 
 ford tramper, ye !" exclaimed the irate Hon 
 ora, pointing to Maria, who had followed her
 
 182 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 into the room. " Better than / am, indade 
 ye niver saw a cloth upon yer table till ye 
 came here. See here, ma'am ?" 
 
 She addressed her conversation to Marian, 
 who had by this time reached the cradle and 
 was rocking the baby, to prevent his waking, 
 and her only answer to the girl, was an inquir 
 ing look ; she was too much frightened to 
 speak. 
 
 " Do ye hear me, ma'am ?" continued Hon- 
 ora, in a louder voice. " I won't take her im- 
 pertence any longer it was rit me, ma'am, 
 that done it ! 'T was this su/tajrior nurse ye 
 have an' the policeman !" 
 
 " Did what, 'Norah. What 's the trouble 
 with you both ?" Marian finally mustered cour 
 age enough to ask, quite at loss to see the 
 cause of the difficulty, and nervous enough to 
 cry, from genuine vexation. " What is all this 
 about?" 
 
 " Why, the ale in the cellar ma'am ! only a 
 week ago, Mr. Honeydew brought home the 
 dozen bottles for his own drinkin' an' yours, 
 and now they 're all gone but two, an'/ know 
 where ! "
 
 A VISITING POLICEMAN. 183 
 
 The quarrel between the girls had been 
 brewing for some time, and had finally reach 
 ed its breaking out. 'Norah MacMullan was 
 red-faced and voluble, while Maria was white- 
 faced and silent, though her eyes were glori 
 ously large and brilliant with pent-up anger 
 flashing in their glances, as she looked towards 
 the angry chambermaid. 
 
 " What policeman do you mean ?" asked 
 Marian, when there was a temporary lull in the 
 domestic gale which was blowing " What 
 about the ale ?" 
 
 " Why, ma'am, the other night, when ye 
 were out wid the master, an' when ye left the 
 baby wid Maria, she came down into the din- 
 in' room, and sat there wid the policeman, an' 
 gave him the ale to dhrink, an' took the illigant 
 cigars from the master's case for the dirty 
 blackguard to smoke !" 
 
 Maria could make no reply, or would not. 
 The baby was set a-crying, and the war of 
 words continued for nearly ten minutes, until 
 Norah, exasperated to indiscretion by the 
 nurse's silence, struck her in the face, with the 
 back of her hand, and there was a scene of
 
 1 84 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 hair pulling which was only ended by the in 
 terference of the cook, when Marian called her 
 upstairs, as she herself ran, crying and fright 
 ened, into the next room, carrying the baby in 
 her arras, towards a place of safety ; for the bat 
 tle-ground of the feminine pugilistic encounter 
 was very close to the dear baby's cradle. 
 
 The damage done in the short scrimmage 
 was not heavy, but ridiculous ; there were a 
 dozen of hair-pins left lying on the carpet, a 
 linen collar and a silk ribbon torn to pieces, 
 and when the girls went out of the room, Miss 
 Honora MacMullan's left cheek was marked 
 with the prints of Maria's finger-nails, and 
 Maria's hair was hanging down her back, and 
 every button about the upper part of her dress 
 loose and unfastened. 
 
 To add to Marian's discomfort, the door-bell 
 rang, and visitors were announced a lady 
 with whom she had made an engagement to 
 go shopping had called for her, and, after being 
 admitted by the cook, found Marian in her 
 room, clasping her baby in her arms, her face 
 pale and lips trembling, and the baby crying 
 in spasmodic sobs.
 
 LIQUORS FOR TWO. 185 
 
 There was no shopping that day the nerv 
 ous excitement of the affray to which she had 
 been a witness, occasioned so severe a head 
 ache that poor little Mrs. Honeydew was com 
 pelled to go to bed for the rest of the day, 
 after ordering both of the fighting ladies from 
 the house, and her good-natured lady friend 
 volunteered to take care of the child and re 
 main with her till Mr. Honeydew's return. 
 
 An examination of the wine-closet told the 
 truth of the story which 'Norah had begun. 
 The ale had been pretty well used up several 
 quart bottles of " Napoleon's Cabinet " were 
 missing from the champagne shelf, and nearly 
 a whole box of fine Gonzalez Africana cigars 
 had been given away or smoked up. The ac 
 complished nurse had been in the habit of en 
 tertaining several friends, upon the evenings 
 when the Honeydews were out, and it was 
 discovered that she had employed a locksmith 
 upon the Avenue to make a duplicate key to 
 the wine-closet, by pleading the excuse that 
 Mr. Honeydew had lost his own key and had 
 instructed her to order a new one to be made. 
 
 Several of Marian's fine laces were also
 
 1 86 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 missing, and an examination of the trunks in 
 the girl's room showed that, when she had 
 gone away, she had left only a few things in 
 them, and one of them was made to appear 
 heavy by being filled with some old pamph 
 lets, taken from the upper hall closet. 
 
 Whatever the policeman knew of the mat 
 ter, he would tell nothing. . Honeydew even 
 threatened to complain of him to the Com 
 missioners, but the fellow insisted that all visits 
 which he had made to the house had been 
 when he was not on duty that he knew 
 nothing of the stolen articles, and that if 
 Honeydew could n't look out for his wine and 
 .keep it properly guarded under lock and key, 
 it was n't the fault of the man who helped to 
 drink it, and added, in a very knowing way, 
 that, "if he didn't want to have a fuss in the 
 papers about it," Honeydew had " better let 
 that 'ere job alone ! " 
 
 To be the central character in a newspaper 
 paragraph under the heading of 
 
 A DISHONEST SERVANT 
 Champagne and Cigars for two 
 
 in an evening paper, under the heading of the
 
 FAMILY DISCOURAGEMENTS. l8/ 
 
 police reports would have been far more an 
 noying to Harry Honeydew than to suffer 
 the loss of the stolen articles, and the com 
 plaint would not have been easily proven 
 so Harry put away the girl's trunks in the 
 garret as mementoes of the experience, and 
 Marian indulged in a good cry, when she told 
 the story, and grew sick and pale, before the 
 end of the week, from confinement to the 
 bed-room and the care of the child, and the 
 labor of having to do nearly all of the up 
 stairs work, while she was changing servants. 
 
 Her pale, sad face worried Harry. To see 
 his little wife the victim of such a series of 
 disasters was more than he could bear. 
 
 The Honeydew experience in housekeeping 
 was passing far beyond what he had bargained 
 for. He did not realize the benefit if there 
 were any benefit at all, in the arrangement 
 of feeding three servants, when the rest of the 
 household consisted, properly, only of himself 
 and Marian, and the innocent little half-year- 
 old baby, who could n't be counted as one, in 
 the aggregate, and, just as the April days 
 were opening, he took the greatest pleasure
 
 1 88 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 of his life in pasting on the front of the hou33 
 one of the printed notices which could be 
 bought for two cents at any stationer's, and 
 which read, in bold, clear letters : 
 
 THIS HOUSE 
 TO 
 INQUIRE
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 A CHANGE OF BASE. 
 
 THE experiences which had been granted 
 to Marian Honeydevv during her married life 
 had not been altogether as rose-colored as 
 she could have wished, and the remembrance 
 of their Sunday morning conversations in 
 their pretty parlor and bedroom at the - 
 Hotel came back to her every once in a while 
 with poignant sorrow at the consequences 
 which had followed in the train of the sugges 
 tions she had there and then made. 
 
 Not that she liked a hotel life not that she 
 thought it better to be confined to the roam 
 ing capacity of two rooms, or three, instead 
 of a whole house, all to herself, to do as she 
 pleased, and to live as she pleased but Ma 
 rian Honeydew was the victim of educational 
 circumstances which she could not control. 
 
 She had gone forth into the world as a 
 
 (189)
 
 IQO THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 bride, and in little more than a year, had dis 
 covered that the tinsel - wedding education 
 which Mrs. Weatherby had given her, was of 
 little use to her when the battle of life was to 
 be fought in a series of hard campaigns. There 
 was a great deal more in life than mere enjoy 
 ment; there was more to be done, much more 
 to be thought of, than what to wear at the 
 Fungus' party, or what to wear at the Charity 
 Ball, the Leiderkrantz, or at the Opera, and as 
 the buds in her bridal bouquet had faded, be 
 neath the glass shade upon the mantel, she re 
 alized that even so had faded away, her pictures 
 of married life, with all love and no responsi 
 bilities. 
 
 She thought she knew how to do things, till 
 she was forced to put her limited knowledge 
 to a practical test. To eat a piece of well- 
 cooked meat, or vegetables, which some one 
 else had prepared, was a nice thing to do 
 any one, with the food provided could en 
 joy it ; but when it came to knowing how 
 to cook the meats herself, or how to super 
 intend the cooking at the hands of inex 
 perienced or stupid servants, she was far
 
 TINSEL-WEDDING EDUCATION. 191 
 
 beyond her depth and could not stem the 
 current. 
 
 The lessons of dear Mamma's household had 
 been faulty, in very many respects. Selfish of 
 her own comforts, Mrs. Weatherby had for 
 years ruled her children (and her husband) 
 with hands of iron, and had failed to educate 
 her daughters up to the standard of American 
 housekeeping, as required by the tests of the 
 annoyances of their Greatest Plague in Life 
 the Servant Question; and had sent Marian 
 into the arms of her husband, a prettily dressed 
 doll, to be treated as she was in reality'only as 
 a baby-wife, and to be humored with camelias 
 and tube-roses the year round, at no matter 
 what actual cost to her indulgent husband. 
 
 And yet, in all these trials, the young peo 
 ple loved each other, and felt a mutual de 
 pendence which made their love almost a 
 blessing, when they were left to themselves 
 and beyond the baneful jurisdiction of Mrs. 
 Weatherby's ill-chosen dictation or "advice." 
 
 At sea, in an open boat, without oars 
 afloat on the billows of their matrimonial and 
 paternal responsibility they were drifting,
 
 192 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 these young people, and had seen enough of 
 housekeeping to know that the errors of early 
 domestic training were to be remedied in af 
 ter life only by the hardest knocks, and by the 
 most patient endurance, and they had deter 
 mined on a new departure, when the house 
 should be rented, and the time for moving out 
 should arrive. 
 
 The dear little chubby hands which clasped 
 Marian around the neck in the early morning 
 hours the little head, with its small appor 
 tionment of soft, silken hair, which nestled in 
 its sleepy innocence upon Harry's shoulder 
 these two formed a bond between them which 
 would grow firmer with years, and more hal 
 lowed in its union, as each additional ray of 
 sunlight came to them, and the cares which 
 love lightened became a life's burden they 
 were glad to bear. 
 
 Love-life had passed its shadow phases, 
 and had changed into the stern reality of life 
 which needed exertion, consistency and for 
 bearance to make it pleasant ; and that they 
 two were to live for each other, and with each 
 other, to lighten their mutual cares and to re-
 
 A FAMILY GROUP. 193 
 
 lieve their mutual sorrows, became, with Ma 
 rian Honeydew and Harry, the teachings of 
 the lessons in housekeeping which they had 
 already learned. 
 
 Another plan of living was advised, and the 
 consultation which ended in its adoption ran 
 as follows : 
 
 "Dear?" 
 
 "Well, darling?" 
 
 This time the word "dear" came from 
 Harry, and the reply from Marian. 
 
 " I 'm tired of housekeeping." 
 
 " But, Harry, what will we do with the 
 things? you know you bought so many, and 
 it is a shame to sacrifice them." 
 
 " Do with them ? Why this. There are 
 nice rooms in Fifth Avenue a whole suite 
 bath-room and all, and a room for the nurse. 
 They can be rented at a fair price, we have 
 things enough to furnish them, and we can 
 live on the semi-European plan. What do 
 you say to it ?" 
 
 And then Harry Honeydew caught his little 
 wife around the waist, as she stood by him, 
 as he was lying upon the sofa, with a Sunday 
 9
 
 194 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 paper in his hand, and, moving back a little, 
 pulled her down to a seat beside him. 
 
 " We will try it, darling, if you think best, 
 and, this time, let it be your experiment !" 
 
 Marian's soft hand with the solitaire dia 
 mond, the amethyst with the initial upon it, 
 and the plain gold wedding ring was placed 
 lovingly in his, and the nurse, who came 
 down into the library with baby in her arms, 
 placed little Harry between them, sitting on 
 his father's breast. 
 
 They played awhile with baby, and then 
 sat down to dinner a dinner cooked by their 
 latest mistress of the kitchen, who had been 
 only a month in the house, and had not served 
 them a thoroughly decent meal since her in 
 duction into office. 
 
 There was a little more consultation, a 
 deal of effective argument, and as a result, 
 the next day, they went down into the Avenue, 
 looked at the apartments, agreed to take them, 
 and to move in one week's time. 
 
 The new tenants of the house in East 
 
 street bought some of the furniture, and the 
 oil-cloth, which the departing tenants did
 
 THE REMEDY. 195 
 
 not need, and the rest went into the rooms 
 which the Honeydews had taken, where 
 they were to live as they pleased, with room 
 J for comfort and to spare, and without the an 
 noyance of but the one servant, the nurse for 
 the little curly-headed boy. 
 
 And the Honeydews say they like it, leav 
 ing to others, if they choose, the solution of 
 the Servant Question and allowing a random 
 friend, in a parody to tell in rhyme what they 
 had learned in sober, honest, prose : 
 
 AN APPEAL. 
 
 YE servant girls, who idly sing, 
 And make your dirty kitchens ring 
 Whose useless hands, 'twould seem most true, 
 Neglect all things you have to do, 
 , Tell us, we pray, what do you ask, 
 .To do each day your honest task ? 
 Pray tell us, servants, will you stay, 
 If higher wages .we should pay ? 
 Would you have ladies hire to you, 
 To teach you all your duties through ?
 
 196 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 Could you but hear the sad complaint, 
 Of household-horrors none can paint, 
 You would give up your stubborn ways, 
 And let your mistress end her days 
 In quiet girls, she '11 ask no more 
 Than girls would do in days of yore ! 
 
 Ye model cooks who always bring 
 " Characthers " good for every thing, 
 Why do you represent to do 
 So many things, both old and new 
 To cook our dinners, great and small, 
 And yet so often fail in all ? 
 Why are our beefsteaks never done ? 
 And why do all your custards " run ?" 
 Why do you claim your " one day out?" 
 Why do you slam the things about? 
 To get you, housewives have to stand, 
 And answer every stern command 
 Of, whether tubs are "stationary ;" 
 Or, if the kitchen 's light and airy 
 Or, if the range be new or old 
 Or, if the cellar 's damp or cold 
 While you are putting questions so, 
 Ere from the " Office " you will go.
 
 AN APPEAL. Ip/ 
 
 Ye model nurse-maids, who hire out 
 
 To " tote " our precious babes about 
 
 Why do you all, when out of sight, 
 
 Allow the child to cry with fright, 
 
 While you go flirting here and there, 
 
 With baby's arms all cold and bare ? 
 
 You take no heed of what you do, 
 
 And handle babe like rubber, too ! 
 
 Why do its frocks go long unmended? 
 
 Why do you all, when day is ended, 
 
 Read novels (neatly bound in yellow, 
 
 Which bring the sobs from hearts so mellow,) 
 
 Instead of mending up things torn, 
 
 Or darning stockings badly worn? 
 
 There 's only one thing that you heed 
 
 'T is when your monthly pay you need ; 
 
 And even then, you ask for more, 
 
 As though not overpaid before ! 
 
 Ye cooks and nursing-maids who thrive 
 Upon such actions, you will drive 
 Your mistresses to such a strait, 
 You will be ruined, soon or late ! 
 They '11 quit the parlor, and will learn 
 To cook a beefsteak to a turn
 
 IQ8 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 As in the famed, old-fashioned days, 
 In their grandmothers' homely ways 
 When women learned to sew and cook 
 In sober earnest not by book. 
 Then, like all good and loving wives, 
 They '11 not be pestered all their lives 
 By girls who know a deal, they vow, 
 " If misthress will but show them how !" 
 And, when the " month is up," they go, 
 (After the " misthress " has done so). 
 So heed, ye servants, this appeal, 
 And for your honest interests feel, 
 Else no more " agencies " will live 
 Upon the dollar-fees we give 
 And ladies will defy your call, 
 By doing not a part but ALL !
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 THE REMEDY, AND THE RESULT. 
 
 IT would be unfair towards the Honey- 
 dews to leave them adrift, with the remark 
 that they were satisfied in their new " experi 
 mental " home, without further comment. 
 But it is worthy of much remark that, when 
 we took occasion to say that the Honeydews 
 were satisfied, that the Honeydews "liked" 
 it, meaning the situation, they left to others a 
 solution of a mystery. 
 
 Their own remedy was the best solution, 
 and why they liked their new home is an easy 
 showing. 
 
 There was yet a great deal to be done, 
 when the Honeydews turned the back of 
 their carriage to the establishment in East 
 
 - Street, and turned down into the Avenue, 
 on the way to the new residence. 
 
 Marian and Harry sat on the back seat of 
 
 099)
 
 200 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the vehicle, and the latest edition of a nurse- 
 girl, who had been one month in active ser 
 vice, and moderately successful, sat on the 
 front seat, holding the young Honeydew on 
 her Milesian lap, and the baby looked with 
 its little wondering eyes out of the carriage 
 window, and Harry looked at the baby, and 
 looked quite as wonderingly at the infant as 
 the baby did at the objects which passed 
 within the range of its baby vision. 
 
 All the small things, such as the pet band 
 boxes, and the few choice things done up in a 
 bundle, together with the case containing the 
 household silver, were upon the seat next to 
 the nurse, and it may be truly said of Harry, 
 that the most valued of his worldly posses 
 sions were in that carriage, bound down-town 
 to a new home, which was, in still greater 
 verity, his experiment. 
 
 Marian had consented to the new arrange 
 ment of housekeeping with apparent sincerity 
 at the result, and yet with an indefinable mis 
 giving as to the particular plan which her 
 husband had devised. 
 
 Mrs. Weatherby had, by way of a parting
 
 ANOTHER CHANGE. 2OI 
 
 crumb of comfort to the young folks, sub 
 stantially allowed her foot to be set down 
 upon the whole arrangement. 
 
 Marian's appreciation of filial respect had 
 permitted, at the last moment, her dear Mam 
 ma's opinions to have a comparative weight 
 in the final consideration of the arrangements. 
 
 A little dubious, then, was her inquiry, as 
 the carriage was driven rapidly down town, 
 and she turned her face to Harry, and, in a 
 half whisper, asked : 
 
 " Do you think you '11 like it, Harry ?'* 
 
 " Like it, little wife ? We can only try it ; 
 and if it doesn't suit, there is but one thing 
 to be done." 
 
 " And that is " 
 
 " Drown the baby ; and then, when there 
 are no more servants to be humored, live 
 somewhere on a roof, and go down to the 
 street by the fire-escape of a tenement house." 
 
 He was severe in his expression, which 
 was hardly humorous ;' but Marian had seen 
 so much of the consequences of her own want 
 of experience, that she was at last willing to 
 consider that the lines of her life and Harry's 
 9*
 
 202 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 had been drawn in parallels, and that on his 
 judgment and to his door should be laid the 
 failure of their new way of living. 
 
 Besides, they had been long enough mar 
 ried to have worn off the gilding from their 
 married life ; and while Harry had not in 
 reality any reason to be less loving, there 
 was a quiet determination in his manner 
 which forbade any argument, and left the sit 
 uation to be accepted as it was. 
 
 The new house was an institution rooms 
 on the second floor, in a fashionable neighbor 
 hood, nicely furnished at Honey dew's ex 
 pense, and the general arrangement, one 
 which, while it gave most of the advantages 
 of housekeeping, precluded the possibility of 
 an infliction of the servant-nuisance. 
 
 A week or more was frittered away in a sort 
 of semi-affectionate existence. There was no 
 actual quarrelling between Marian andHarry, 
 but there was a great deal of cross-firing, 
 which the visit of dear Mamma, on Sunday 
 morning, had not helped to quiet. 
 
 'A rainy, drizzling day, that Sunday, with 
 no sunshine to come in at the front windows,
 
 DISADVANTAGES. 203 
 
 and Mrs. Weatherby had seen fit to pay them 
 an early visit just in time to catch Marian at 
 work washing baby, while the breakfast things 
 in the next room of the suite were still upon 
 the table. 
 
 It had been one of those peculiar mornings, 
 known only to married people, when the 
 matrimonial barometer had begun to fall, long 
 before daylight. 
 
 Baby had been restless there had been a 
 sleepless night, and Harry and Marian had 
 very little to say to each other between get- 
 ting-up time and breakfast ; which breakfast, 
 ordered from the restaurant, had not been 
 served quite as they would have wished to 
 have it. 
 
 It wasn't quite so handy as having their 
 own kitchen, and their own cook to prepare 
 the meal, but there was a diversion to the 
 meal-taking which Harry had for bis own 
 indulgence, by way of aiding to serve, if not 
 to prepare, it. 
 
 Restaurant cooks had failed to boil the 
 s to their proper consistency to suit Ma 
 rian's taste and the five-dollar gas-st<>
 
 204 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 located in the bath-room, was put in requisi 
 tion to complete the egg-boiling. 
 
 All this, and several other small evidences 
 of discomfort, together with the crying of 
 young Master Honeydew, did not put dear 
 Mamma in the best of humor, and did not 
 tend to keep Marian's sweet face wreathed in 
 household smiles. 
 
 And then, there was an argument upon 
 keeping house in apartments, and keeping 
 house in your own complete establishment. 
 
 From argument to argument the three pro 
 gressed, till the several phases of their new 
 way of living were all duly considered, and 
 Mrs. Weatherby proposed to take the party 
 to board, at the paternal mansion. 
 
 After the making of the proposition, she 
 waited, as calmly as she could, with her Ger 
 man-American temper, for the answer. 
 
 Marian hesitated her dark eyes began to 
 glisten with tears, and a chin that was quite 
 as pretty as any one else's chin, with a dear 
 little, cunning dimple in it, began to quiver 
 spasmodically. 
 
 " 1 think not, mother," said Harry, noticing
 
 FARTHER CONSULTATIONS. 2O$ 
 
 Marian's confusion and indecision. " We will 
 try it here ; if .we can Xcontinue to live com 
 fortably, there is one thing left. There are 
 rooms to be had in the - - Hotel. I know 
 all about it, and we can go back there." 
 
 'T was no use for dear Mamma to get angry 
 angry words or quick ones would have been 
 ill-timed, and she had enough of discernment to 
 know it, and left the house with a very defi 
 nite opinion that Harry Honeydew was the 
 most stubborn of men, and Marian Honeydew 
 the most incorrigible of daughters. 
 
 It would not be fair to detail all the loving 
 words which Harry said to his little wife when 
 they were alone they are sacred as all such 
 words should be, to the persons who have a 
 right to say them ; but, before the afternoon 
 had worn away, there was hopeful expectancy 
 for the future in the apartments of the Honey- 
 dews. 
 
 Here, then, we may say, that they had found 
 the remedy for the servant troubles, and had 
 adopted the principle of living, which seems 
 best adapted to their comfortable existence. 
 
 Handsomely furnished, their rooms cost
 
 206 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 them only half as much as the rent of a house 
 would, and there was Jio annoyance from hav 
 ing to provide the wood, the coal, the cook 
 ing-utensils, and the cook. 
 
 It cost about as much to live, perhaps but 
 there was a change of diet and a freedom from 
 care, which afforded a grateful change to Ma 
 rian, and there was a relief from all anxiety, 
 excepting such as trfey saw fit to encourage in 
 their own apartments, and the care of the 
 curly-headed baby-boy. 
 
 To the way of living, which alone suggests 
 the remedy for the servant-nuisance, such as 
 the Honeydews have adopted, must the Ameri 
 can housekeepers come, unless there be a ra 
 dical change in the construction of the female 
 servants' duties. 
 
 The evils of an extensive immigration, of 
 the " rings " of employment offices, and the 
 formation of secret surveillance-service soci 
 eties over the ladies who employ the cooks, 
 the waiting-maids, the chambermaids, and the 
 laundresses, are the evils from which there 
 would seem to be but one channel of. escape. 
 There must be a willingness to work, and to
 
 HOW THEY DO IT. 2O/ 
 
 teach the Servant-girls of the Period that 
 wages must be moderate and duties must be 
 fairly performed. The old-time lessons of 
 women who were content to take life as it 
 was not as they would wish it to be must 
 be turned to good profit ; and, until such is 
 the case, there will be no diminution of the 
 list of household terrors, and home will be 
 tinsel and uncertainty, and the servants will 
 retain the upper hand. 
 
 The curiosities of Servant - Girlism are 
 strange, when considered as a part of a general 
 system which has inherent peculiarities ; and 
 there would really seem to be no way of 
 escape from the annoyances and inflictions 
 placed upon the American housekeepers. 
 
 Area -railing conferences are among the 
 channels of information through which is de 
 rived the complete ascendency of the ser 
 vants over the people whom they are pledged 
 to serve, and to whom they look for punctual 
 payment of wages. 
 
 Bridget, Mary, or Susan, as the case may 
 be, " makes friends with the neighborhood," 
 interviews the butcher's boy, or the baker, or
 
 208 THE SERVANT- GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 the lad who brings in the groceries, and at 
 the end of her cross-examination has gener 
 ally posted herself upon the names, habits and 
 love-affairs of the girls for a block, at least, 
 within the range of her present residence, 
 and within the visiting circle which she pro 
 poses to adopt. 
 
 A new face in a neighborhood creates a 
 sensation among the " help," which ends in a 
 scrutiny of the new comer, as to whether she 
 shall be adopted in a particular set, or 
 whether she shall be considered as an out 
 sider in the making up of the society slate. 
 
 Belles of the kitchen are quite as careful in 
 their selection of associates as the belles of 
 the parlor ; and when there are wars, or 
 rumors of wars, among the Cabinet down 
 stairs, the effect of the trouble becomes mani 
 fest all over the house, more particularly if 
 the disturbance be occasioned by one of the 
 petty jealousies which follow upon servant- 
 girl flirtation or actual servant-girl love. 
 
 The relations of mistress and servant have 
 no line by which to mark their existence or 
 prescribe their limits. The mistress is never
 
 THE SITUATION. 209 
 
 permitted to encroach upon the servant ; this 
 may be taken as a fact, borne out by the evi 
 dence of every household, and it has already 
 become a law by which the women employ 
 ed hold their control in matters of household, 
 importance by an indirect but strong-handed 
 influence. 
 
 Summing up this situation is a work of lit 
 tle labor, and it will suggest itself to any 
 housekeeper who has passed the ordeal which 
 the servants impose. 
 
 Given, a good cook one who really knows 
 her business. This woman, with the full 
 knowledge that she is the main spring of the 
 establishment, chooses- to dictate how she will 
 govern her kitchen will take no suggestions 
 from a young mistress, and finally deems so 
 many things necessary (?) to her use, that 
 the list from the grocer's exceeds all estimates 
 of cost of articles or quantity, and the lady 
 ventures to remonstrate. 
 
 Here, then, comes the row. In a few mo 
 ments the " ball is open," to the satisfaction of 
 the cook, and to the dismay of the mistress. 
 
 " If ye want yer dinners cooked, ye must
 
 2IO THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 have the things ; an' if ye do n't know what 
 to ordher, yerself, /do !" 
 
 This ends the discussion. If the cook is 
 allowed to quarrel, the mistress gets the 
 worst of it just as dear little Marian Honey- 
 dew did, in several of her discussions ; and 
 the cook remains the mistress, and with an 
 open war continually impending, the rule of 
 the servants is established, and the ladies 
 must submit just as Marian Honeydew sub 
 mitted, till the interference of Mamma ended 
 in the girl's dismissal and consequent chaos 
 in the Honeydew kitchen for a week or more. 
 
 Remembering all these things taking into 
 consideration the fact that the Servant-Girl 
 of the Period is a necessity which the duties 
 of housekeeping demand shall exist, remem 
 bering also that the almost universal lack of 
 education among servants that they come 
 to this country breathing the air of a land 
 new to them, and which they have been led 
 to look upon as a land of veritable promise, 
 and abounding in the privileges of suffrage 
 and government to their lovers, or their male 
 relatives, and with the privilege of ruling
 
 WATCHING THE BIRDS AND THINKING. 211 
 
 below stairs vouchsafed to themselves there 
 is work of great magnitude to be accomplish 
 ed before the servant-plague can be abated. 
 
 Our friends, the Honeydews, had tried 
 every sort of experiment, excepting the Ne 
 gro servant, whom Marian " could not endure 
 to have around her," or the Chinese, whom 
 she refused to adopt, and very properly, 
 under the circumstances. 
 
 Sitting in their cosy parlor, after a month's 
 residence in their new apartments, Marian 
 and Harry were looking out upon the Avenue, 
 one pleasant evening, watching the carriages 
 rolling along on the busy street, and Marian 
 wondering where all the pretty little sparrows 
 stowed themselves away in their little wooden 
 boxes, and at what time the birds " went to 
 bed." 
 
 But Harry had more to think of than spar 
 rows, or bird-boxes ; he was wondering, qui 
 etly, whether Marian really liked their way 
 of living, and so he asked her, in a quiet way : 
 
 " Do ypu like your new home, pet ?" 
 
 They were sitting just close enough to each 
 other to allow Marian to rest her head upon
 
 212 THE SERVANT-GIRL OF THE PERIOD. 
 
 her husband's shoulder. A close observer 
 would perhaps have noticed that Harry 
 moved an inch or two nearer to his little 
 wife, las he looked at her ; but, either way, 
 the head did reach his shoulder, and a pair 
 of dark eyes looked lovingly up into his face, 
 as she answered : 
 
 " Yes, Harry, I do. Until servants become 
 ordinary men and women in their relations to 
 housekeepers, and learn to know their places, 
 I live here unless you want another house." 
 
 The reply which Harry gave to her was 
 loving in its intention, although perhaps 
 severe, causing a blush upon Marian's face, 
 which Harry did not see, as they were sitting 
 in the shadow : 
 
 " My baby-wife has not the household train 
 ing to cope with the servants she must have 
 around her ; we will let well-enough alone, 
 darling, if you say so." 
 
 There need be no details given of the loving 
 kiss which followed. Both were satisfied and 
 both had learned of housekeeping and the 
 Servant-Question all they desired, for present 
 uses and experiences.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 INTRODUCTORY. An old definition. " Paul Peebles'" experience. Di 
 gressive 5 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Mr. Honeydew's discovery. Tired of Hotel Life. Mrs. Honeydew takes 
 advice. A Pretty Picture drawn. And a little letter to Dear 
 Mamma 29 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Mrs. Honeydew's tour of exploration. Advertisements. Five chances for 
 
 a cook. A little lady in a strange neighborhood. No. East 
 
 Street. Tenement -house artists. A little lady snubbed. Another 
 trial. A jewel secured 38 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Family Portraits. Dear Mamma. What Dear Mamma had done. Policy 
 and Cologne-water. News for Mr. Honeydew 59 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Mr. Honeydew does his duty. His conversion. Mrs. Honeydew's duty 
 performed The work commenced. Not angry, but surprised. An 
 " opening " in silver-ware. A sincere determination. . . . .' 60 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 The Honeydews " at home." A good prospect. A " new departure." 
 Rose-tints of life. Ellen. The first visitors T*
 
 214 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 An evening's experience. Fault-finding. Anxiety. Locked out in the 
 moonlight. Patience and window-panes. A brilliant dining-room. 
 An energetic policeman. " Martell 1840." 82 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Mr. Honeydew settles a difficulty. That breakfast. Dear Mamma's selec 
 tion. Miss O'Connor indignant. One servant less. An affectionate 
 inquiry 95 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 A ray of sunshine. The Employment Bureau. Maggie Murphy. Dear 
 Mamma surprised. A just distinction. Inspection. Mr. Honeydew's 
 selection. The Long Branch cottage. 103 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A change of scene. The " Bouquet of Artists." A catalogue. Seaside 
 plans. Considering. Off to the " Branch." Advantages Sundries 
 for the " season." 117 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Long Branch. A glimpse of happiness. Sea -fog. Marine view, with 
 landscape. An early breakfast wanted. Miss Feeney. Rebellion. 
 A quick " good-morning !" A disgusted traveler 127 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Milesian visitors. An armistice. A few things wanted. Cousin and 
 friend. Late visitors and back-door courtship 136 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 A painful discovery. A bird flown. A lively family scene. Cleaned out. 
 A timely escape 142 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 Norah, A last experiment. Dear Mamma pleased. A difference of opin 
 ion. A story-telling. A bevy of friends. The cut direct. Seaside 
 courtesies. The cause of a snubbing. Dining-room errors. Moun 
 tains versus seaside 147
 
 .CONTENTS. 215 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 Baby Kingdom. Homeward-bound. A divided household. A romantic 
 servant. Kitchen literature, Ante-parental nervousness. "Wel 
 come, little stranger !" 158 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 Baby's Cabinet. Baby's Prime Ministers. Mrs. Wraclcett. A rheumatic 
 nurse. Paternal privileges. Banished to the third story. A question 
 of endurance. Once more " at home " 165 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 A new Regime. Baby's presents. Infantile troubles. "Old Holland 
 Gin " and Catnip. Mr. Honeydew's new sphere of duty. A high- 
 toned cook. A passage at arms. Ale, champagne and cigars for two. 
 A policeman off duty. A little encounter. Summing up the dam 
 age. " This house to let." 174 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 A change of base. Tinsel-wedding education. Dear Mamma's teaching. 
 Tube-roses and matrimony. Baby-pictures. Another affectionate 
 interview. Solitaire and plain gold. A pleasant sofa-party of three. 
 The lemedy for the Greatest Plague in Life 189 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 The remedy and the result. Moving away. A last resource. Disadvan 
 tages. Surveillance-service. Bridget, Mary, Susan, tt al. The 
 housekeeper's situation. The only thing to do. Semi-European plan 
 and its success. At home on the Avenue 199
 
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