7 DA m All h C. K. OGDEN THE QUEEN'S MATRIMONIAL LADDER, 9[ Battoual Cap, WITH FOURTEEN STEP SCENES; AND ILLUSTJMTIONS IN VERSE, WITH EIGHTEEN OTHER CUTS. BY THE AUTHOR OF "THE POLITICAL HOUSE TH\T JACK BUILT." " The quesUon is not merely whether the Queen shall have her rights, but whether tiie rights of any individual in Uie kinedom shall be free from violation." Htr Majeily's Artraer to the Norwich Address. Here 13 a Gentleman, and a friend of mine!" Measure for Measure. ^tUntttntl) €tiitiou. L)\DON: PRINTED BY AND FOR WILLIAM HONE, LUDGATE-HILL. ' It is a wonderful thing to consider the strength of Princes' wills when they are bent to have their Pleasure fulfilled, wherein no reasonable persuasions will serve their turn : how little do they regard the dangerous sequels, that may ensue as well to themselves as to tlieir Subjects. And amongst all things there is nothinlFOitNIA bAIflA BA^BAIIA ^/rq^fi n rr^-i^bS c£:v Oive not tliy strength unto women, nor thy ways to lliat w liii.1) litstroypth fings. So onion. QUALIFICATION. In love, and in drink, and o'ertopj)led by debt; With women, Avitli wine, and witli duns on the fret. Penury incurr'd By endless riot, vanity ; the lust Of pleasure and variety ! — . Ministerial grace Deals liim out money from the public chest. Cowper. DECLARATION. The Prodigal Son, by his perils siiiTOUiuled, Yex'd, harass'd, bcvvilder'd, asliara'd, and con- founded, FJed for heljD to his Fatlier, confessed liis ill doing", And begged for salvation fioni stark staring ruin ; The sire urged — " The People yonr debts have twice paid, " And, to ask a third time, even Pitt is afraid ; '' But he shall if you'll marry, and lead a new life, — " You've a cousin in Germany — make her your wife!" lured from her own, her Dative home, Tlie home of early life. And doora'd in stranger lealms to roam A widow ! j'f t a wife ! Phitlipii Lament. ACCEPTATION. From the higli halls of Brunswick, all youthful and gay, From the hearth of her fathers, he lured her away : How joy'd she in coming — how smiling the bower; How sparkling their nuptials — how welcome her dower. Ah! short were her pleasures — full soon came her cares — Her husbandless hrlde-bed was wash'd with her tears. ^^t> I Tlie most desolate woman in the world! Thy daughter, then, could hear thee weep ; But uow she sleeps the dreamless sleep. PhiUipa's Lamifd, ALTERATION. JNear a million of debts gone, all gone were her charms — What! an Epicure have kis own wife in his arms ? She was not to his taste — what car'd /le for the ' form/ ' To love and to cherish' could not mean reform : ' To love' meant, of course, nothing else but neglect ; — * To cherish' to leave her, and shew disrespect. faded appetite resign'd The vittim up to shame. Phillipt's Lament. IMPUTATION. Was it manly, when widow'd, to spy at her actions ; To listen to eaves-droppers, ' . whisp'ring- detractions ; And, like an old Watchman, with faults to conceal, Get up a false Charge, as a proof of his zeal ? If desertion was base, Oh base be his name, Who, having deserted, would bring her to shame ! God, and your Majesty', piotecl miue iuuocence ! King llairi/ Vlll. EXCULPATION. Untlaunted in spirit, lier courage arose, With encrease of charges, and en crease of foes. Despising the husband, who thus had abused Jier, She proved to his father, his son had ill used her: — Her conduct exaniinVl, and sifted, shone bright. Her enemies fled, as-the shadows of night. A waudeier, lar away, Keglected aud rcvik-U — PhiUipt't Lame id. EMIGRATION. Her father and king-, while with reason yet blest, Protected hei» weakness, and shielded her rest; Infirmity seizes him, false friends draw near, Then spies i^ather round, and malignants appear ; And cajole, wait, watch, insult, alarm, and betray, Till from home, and her daughter, they force her away. /' ./■^, ^ ' A liuiidied iliousaud wi Iromes !' Coriolanui. REMIGRATION. Still pursued, when a * wanderer,' her child sleeps in death, And her best friend, in England, her king, yields his breath ; This gives her new rights — they neglect and proscribe her ; She threatens returning — they then try to bribe her ! The bullies turn slaves, and, in meanness, fawn on her: They feel her contempt, and they vow her dishonour; But she 'steers her own course,' comes indignantly over, And the shouts of the nation salute her at Dover! Ileimek-O LorJ ' liow he did smell! Soztthey's Minor Poems, vol.iii. p. I(i« CONSTERNATION. All, what was that groan ! — 'twas the Head of the Churcli, When he found she was come — for he dreaded a search Into what hed been doing- : and sorely afraid, for What she might find out, cried ' III not have her pray d for' ; And the B ps, obeying their ^iow^ Head, care took That the name of his wife > . - shouUl be out of the prayer book ! ii A BURM^G SHAME!" llA-ffl I will kill thee, if Ihou dost deny Tliou hast made me a cuckold. What f«lse Italian (As poisonous tougued as handed) hath prevailed Oil thy too rtady hearing? CymMint. ACCUSATION. On searching for precedents, much to their dread^ They found that they could n't well cut off her head ; And the 'House of Incurables' raised a * Report' She was not a fit person to live in his Court. How like an OLD CHARLEY thev then made him stand. In his lanthorn a leech, the ' Report' io his liand. * Good folks be so good as not go near that door * For, though nivown wife, she /.s — I couki sav more ' But ifs all in this Bag, and there'll be a iiiie pother, ' I shall got rid of her, and I'll then ^ei another!' Yet he thought, to himself, — " . ' 'twas a thouo-ht most di&tressin:r, — * \^ she should discover I've l)een M — cli — ss — g, ' There's an end of the whole! ' ' D rs C ns, of course, ' If my own hands are dirty,- ) won't grant a D ce!' He trietl to look wise, but he only look'd wild; The women laugh'd out, and the grave even smiled; The old frown'd upon him — the children made sport. And his wife held her ridicule at his ' Report'! Moral. " Be icarnd by his fate '*^ ' 3Iai'ried, single, and all ; Ye elderly Gentlemen, . Pity his fall ! c Give nie but the Liberty ot Uit Press, a:id 1 w.ll give to the minister a vcual House or Peei*. Sheridan. PUBLICATION. As yon bright orb, that vivifies onr ball, Sees throuoh our system, and illumines all: So, sees and shines, our Moral Sun, The Press, Alike to vivifv' the mind, andhless; Sees the rat Leecli turn towards Milan's walls, ' Till the black slime betrays him as he crawls;' Sees, from that recreant, vile, and eunuch-land, Where felon-perjurers hold their market-stand, Cooke, with his 'cheek of parchment, eye of stone,' Get up the evidence, to jjo well down; Sees who, with eager hands, the Green Bag cram, And warns the nation of the frightful flam ; Sees Him, for whom they work the treacherous task, With face, scarce half conceal'd, behind their mask. Fat, fifty-eight, and frisky, still a beau. Grasping a half-made match, by Leech-W^hi go; Led by a passion, prurient, blind, and batter'd, Lame, bloated, pointless, flameless, aged and shattered ; Creeping, like Guy Fawkes, to blow up his wife. Whom, spurn'd in youth, he dogs through after-life. Scorn'd, exiled, baftled, goaded in distress, She owes her safety to a fearless Press : With all the freedom that it makes its own. It guards, alike, the people and their throne; While fools with darkling eye-balls shun its gaze, And soaring villains scorch beneath its blaze. I a.Ti ivrap|)'ii in disrml til nlim'^s! — Til K KING, iu AlVs well that ends ucU. INDIGNATION. The day will soon come, when ' the Judge and the Ponderer,' Will jndge between thee, and the charge-daring ' Wanderer ;' Will say — 'Thou who cast the first stone at thy wife, Art thou without sin, and is spotless t/ii/ life?' Ah! what if thi/ faults should 'outrival the sloe,' And thy wife's, beside thine, should look ' whiter than snow' ! Bethink thee! the old British Lion awoke, Turns indignant, and treads out tliy bag full of smoke. Spurn thy minions— the traitors, who counsel thee, l)anis!i ; "* • And the soldiers will quickly forget all their Spanish! I /^a.. Le Hoy le wut !" G. R. &e Blackstone's Com. b. 1. c.2. CORONATION. Shakspeare says, in King Jolin, it's a curse most abhorrent, That ' Slaves take the humours of Kings for a warrant.' A more ?/5^w/ truth never fell from his pen, If Kings wouhl apply it like sober-bred men. The Slaves oi your will, will make your reign, in History, A misrule offeree, folly, taxing, and mystery : Indulging- your wish for what, with law, 's incompatible, For the present, they've render'd your crown not come-at-able ; And the tongues of old woinen and infancy wag. With, 'He caird for his crown — and they gave him the i^«^.'' - " x- /-_ — - // \: So let him stand * • • • • * Byron. DEGRADATION. To this have they brought thee, at hist ! Exposed thee, for all men to see! Ah, surely, their pandering shall quickly be past: — ' How wretched their portion shall be ! • Derision shall strike thera forlorn, * A mockerv that never shall die : ' The curses of hate and the liisses of scorn, *Shall follow wherever they tly; ' And proud o'er their ruin for ever be hurl'd, ' The laughter of triumph, the jeers of the world !' THE END " CaU' Meat ! " English Cry, I say, HUM, how fares il with Royalty now? Is it up? — Is itpn'me.'— Is it spooney ?— or how' The Fudge Family. THE JOSS AND HIS FOLLY, An Extract of an overland Dispatch. I stare at it from out my caseraeut, And ask for what is such a place meant. hyToii. The queerest of all the queer sights I've set sight on ; — Is, the what d'ye-calC-t thing, here, The Folly at Briditou The outside— huge teapots, all drill'd round with holes, Relieved by extinguishers, sticking on poles : . • The inside — all tea-things, and dragons, and bells, The show rooms — all show, the sleeping rooms — cells. But the ^nmrf Curiosity 's not to be seen — ' ' The owner himself — / an old fat Mandarin; A patron of painters who copy designs. That grocers and tea-dealers hang up for signs : Hence teaboard-taste artists gain rewards and distinction. Hence his title of ' Teapot' shall last to extinction. I saw his great chair into which he falls — soss — And sits, in his China Shop, like a large Joss ; ' His mannikins round him, in tea-tray array. His pea-hens beside him, to make him seem gay. u It is said vviien he sleeps on his state Eider-down, And thinks on his Wife, and about half di Crown ; That he wakes from these horrible dreams in a stew ; And that, stretching his arms out, he screams, Mrs. Q. ! He 's cool'd on the M — ch ss, but I'm your debtor For further particulars — in a C letter. You must know tliat he hates his own wife, to a failing; — And it 's thought, it 's to shun her, he 's now gone out SAILING. A liviii<; Uapot sliiiuJs, one ami hi.id out, Oue btiil ; lilt liaiidle Uiis, and iliat llie ipout. liapc of Ike Lock. I?. FTVii-v »o»- PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM HONE. THE QUEEN'S LETTER TO THE KING. In octavo. Price 6c/. *** Oiilers should expressly state Hone's Edition. THE DROPT CLAUSES OUT OF THE BILL AGAINST THE QUEEN. For Mr. Attorney General to peruse and settle. With a Refresher. By the Author of " The Queen's Matrimonial Ladder." Price Sixpence. ~THE QUEEN'S CASE STATED. By CHARLES PHILLIPS, Esq. Barrister at Law. " You shall surely answer it, where the poorest rast upon the poorest beggar in this island shall have the splendour of your coronation garment." — Vide Statement. Cvo. Is. THE LAMENT OF THE EMERALD ISLE, on the DEATH of the PRINCESS CHARLOTTE. By CHARLES PHILLIPS, Esq. 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THE OCEAN CAVERN : a Tale of the Ton-a Isles. In Three Cantos.— The interesting story selected as the ground-work of this Poem, is in Mariner's Account of the Cusioms and Maimers of tite Inhabitants of the Tonga Islands. '• The tale is beautifully related in the Poem, and occasions feelings " which a real bard only can raise. The author's name is not atfixed. It has " been attributed to one who ranks highest amongst the children of Son"." Handsomely printed in oclavo, un iformly with Lord Byron's Poems, 4s. 6d. A NEW AND ENLARGED COLLECTION OF SPEECHES, by the Right Hon. JOHN PHILPOT CURRAN ; containing several of im- portance, in no former Collection, with MEMOIRS of Mr. Curran, and his PORTRAIT, In one Volume Octavo, 8s. *,* Eloquence has perhaps never suffered a deeper loss than by the imper- fect manner in wliich the Speeches of this immortal Orator have been col- lected. 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THE PTcTURin7F'"rHE PALAIS RT)YAL^describins its Spectacles, Gaming-houses, Coffee-houses, Restaurateurs, Tabagies, Reading- rooms, IMilliners'-sliops, Gamesters, Sharpers, Mouchards, Artistes, Epicures, Courtesans, Fillies, and other Remarkable Objects in that High Change of the Fashionable Dissipation and Vice of Paris. With Characteristic Sket, particularly Trials, and al^o -onie eni;r:ive(i Llri- tisb Poutuaits and Pkin-'s f..i Ulusiraiion, inni a h•\^ Pusiivos in Oil, now DA UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY AA 000 362 847 6 Ml ,-•,..■ .'■ "X'-iirn THE LIBRARY UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA Santa Barbara THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE STAMPED BELOW. f-^'S^-^l f? iqj4 Series 9482 i:A